Contest #786 Summary

Name	Value
Submission deadline	2022-01-02T17:32:00.000Z
Voting started	-
Voting ended	2022-01-23T17:33:00.000Z
Finalists announced	2022-01-17T17:33:00.000Z
Magazine(s) announcing finalists issued	January 24, 2022
Number of captions	7860
Number of responses	1076445
Number of participants	-

Rank	Caption	Mean	Precision	Total votes	"Unfunny" votes	"Somewhat funny" votes	"Funny" votes
0	This is the homework your son alleges my client ate.	1.9072	0.01141	4981	1866	1711	1404
1	And finally, an option to extend his leash.	1.9008	0.01159	4607	1676	1712	1219
2	...and you understand, that while this is one year contract for you, it's a seven year contract for him.	1.8847	0.01134	4909	1864	1747	1298
3	My client is willing to play ball if you are.	1.8833	0.01342	3272	1177	1300	795
4	He says you can keep the cat.	1.8759	0.01198	4511	1775	1521	1215
5	It's not enough just to say he's a good boy. He wants it in writing.	1.8753	0.01378	3175	1180	1211	784
6	My client says that the bacon on the counter was left unattended. We call that 'entrapment'.	1.8736	0.01293	3672	1389	1358	925
7	He'll negotiate, but he won't beg.	1.8735	0.00961	6346	2317	2517	1512
8	My client is prepared to walk.	1.8603	0.00926	7163	2781	2607	1775
9	My client would like to remind you that he is legally entitled to anything that falls on the floor.	1.8587	0.01201	4111	1550	1592	969
10	Just so you know, he’s prepared to walk.	1.8542	0.01091	5081	1960	1902	1219
11	And what value would you place on your testicles, Mr. Flanagan?	1.8518	0.01109	5721	2509	1555	1657
12	The ball is in your court Mr. Smith, and frankly my client would like you to throw it back.	1.8514	0.01123	4824	1885	1775	1164
13	I'm guessing you thought he'd just roll over?	1.8502	0.01137	4633	1792	1746	1095
14	My client is not just going to roll over.	1.8488	0.01037	5515	2119	2114	1282
15	It's simple really. He's had his shots. He wants you to get yours.	1.8449	0.01055	5996	2543	1842	1611
16	You can make this all go away if you just tell him where you hid the ball.	1.8445	0.01261	3980	1617	1365	998
17	All my client's asking is that you play ball.	1.8394	0.01179	4190	1611	1641	938
18	Ultimately you just rub him the wrong way.	1.8368	0.01394	3058	1199	1159	700
19	Sign now or we W-A-L-K.	1.8360	0.01303	3597	1441	1305	851
20	Turns out he was not your best friend	1.8332	0.01144	4675	1884	1687	1104
21	Cheap kibble, one short walk a day and getting his balls cut off, if this goes to court, who do you think the jury will side with?	1.8292	0.01183	4918	2192	1379	1347
22	Sir, even I can smell the other dog on you.	1.8280	0.01155	4802	2021	1586	1195
23	Remember...he knows where the bones are buried.	1.8273	0.01353	3225	1278	1226	721
24	My client claims that you repeatedly pretend to throw the ball,but never do. Is this true?	1.8269	0.01183	4258	1700	1595	963
25	Considering the nature of the injury you caused, my client feels it’s only reasonable that you be neutered as well.	1.8264	0.01419	3289	1429	1004	856
26	You've stated my client is a "good boy." He wants that in writing.	1.8247	0.01429	2858	1128	1103	627
27	I'd like to thank you for sitting down, staying, and coming when called today.	1.8218	0.01499	2598	1031	999	568
28	She says you knew she was a bitch when you married her.	1.8215	0.01333	3973	1819	1044	1110
29	He wants the doghouse in the Hamptons.	1.8188	0.01425	3063	1280	1058	725
30	I'd advise you to sign. He knows where the bones are buried.	1.8181	0.01065	5338	2190	1929	1219
31	This says that Buddy will retain ownership of everything buried in the yard.	1.8148	0.01465	2732	1101	1036	595
32	Consider this him throwing you a bone.	1.8133	0.02047	1323	513	544	266
33	He wants you to beg.	1.8130	0.01170	4465	1860	1580	1025
34	My client wants to play ball.	1.8105	0.00975	6157	2499	2328	1330
35	My clients says you can keep the cat if he can have your slippers.	1.8100	0.02680	800	320	312	168
36	And here is a picture of you petting that beagle in the park.	1.8037	0.01221	4090	1732	1433	925
37	He wants out.	1.8020	0.01143	4590	1920	1659	1011
38	My client can't sign this.	1.8017	0.01410	3122	1340	1061	721
39	You realize this first meeting is just to sniff each other out.	1.8012	0.01514	2550	1051	956	543
40	Three daily walks and a belly rub. It's his final offer.	1.8005	0.01173	4161	1688	1615	858
41	We believe your use of the term "fix" constitutes false advertising.	1.7997	0.01192	4448	1941	1457	1050
42	My client wants out.	1.7996	0.00972	6651	2896	2196	1559
43	My client believes he's entitled to everything he's urinated on.	1.7975	0.01462	3076	1386	927	763
44	I’ll admit, our ears perked up when we heard your offer.	1.7844	0.02247	1067	427	443	197
45	He's issued a stay.	1.7842	0.01267	3605	1519	1346	740
46	She says if you wanted to keep the house, you should've thought about that before sleeping with the cat.	1.7806	0.01831	1937	888	586	463
47	Don't make my client beg.	1.7651	0.01449	2674	1146	1014	514
48	My client was hired as a service dog but was only used as a chick magnet.	1.7500	0.01429	3060	1437	953	670
49	Here's a list of his pet peeves.	1.7462	0.01437	2991	1399	952	640
50	My client is demanding that YOU roll over.	1.7237	0.01733	1911	885	669	357
51	My client isn't going to simply roll over	1.7232	0.01729	1947	926	641	380
52	My client feels you kept her on too tight a leash.	1.7229	0.01748	1700	742	687	271
53	We will not roll over and we will not beg.	1.7221	0.01749	1846	854	653	339
54	Sit we can do. Stay, that's going to cost you.	1.7129	0.01874	1599	751	559	289
55	My client claims you only pretended to throw the ball.	1.7104	0.01917	1540	726	536	278
56	My client will not just roll over	1.7085	0.01997	1544	768	459	317
57	It’s this, or we W-A-L-K.	1.7071	0.01927	1632	816	484	332
58	We have photos of you with another dog.	1.7064	0.02066	1543	801	394	348
59	My client insists you stipulate that he is still “a good boy.”	1.7029	0.01964	1424	665	517	242
60	My client prefers a vasectomy.	1.7028	0.03030	636	308	209	119
61	You will not get my client to roll over.	1.6995	0.01959	1361	639	501	221
62	She agrees you can keep the car, as long as she gets to ride in it once a week with the window rolled down.	1.6994	0.02090	1221	564	460	197
63	He may be your best friend, but I am his lawyer.	1.6988	0.02059	1388	688	434	266
64	He agrees to come when he is called, but he will no longer speak unless he wants to.	1.6970	0.02037	1320	622	476	222
65	Only one of us is pro bono - the other is just pro bone.	1.6906	0.02159	1270	633	397	240
66	You should have thought of this before you had him neutered.	1.6902	0.02240	1149	564	377	208
67	Actually according to this injunction, YOU are a bad boy	1.6895	0.02194	1198	589	392	217
68	In regards to the division of assets, my client says that technically he did mark the entire territory.	1.6887	0.02237	1227	627	355	245
69	How can my client be sure that it really will be 'a routine visit to the vet'"	1.6885	0.02229	1159	570	380	209
70	Sir, my client is simply asking you to throw him a bone.	1.6882	0.02183	1206	595	393	218
71	My client can make this very messy for you.	1.6833	0.02236	1102	533	385	184
72	My client is willing to drop the lawsuit if you agree to pick it back up and throw it for him to fetch again.	1.6816	0.02360	1046	524	331	191
73	He still wants to be your best friend.	1.6814	0.02279	1017	482	377	158
74	My client won't just roll over, sir.	1.6814	0.02245	1086	525	382	179
75	She's claiming you whistled at her	1.6811	0.02349	1063	535	332	196
76	My client is not here to beg.	1.6788	0.02305	1018	491	363	164
77	No deal. He wants your Italian loafers too.	1.6783	0.03994	345	168	120	57
78	He's willing to bury this if you just play ball.	1.6755	0.02315	1023	520	323	180
79	This second copy is in case she eats one.	1.6742	0.02496	930	475	285	170
80	My client is prepared to settle, but only after turning around several times in his bed.	1.6699	0.02459	936	470	305	161
81	In return for providing the location of you car keys, the flash drive with your passwords, the mate for ten pairs of socks, Goldie would like scratching of each ear at least 15 times per day, a nicer blankey, treats on the hour and the cat removed.	1.6693	0.02549	889	452	279	158
82	You can keep the house. He just wants the ball back.	1.6693	0.02344	1025	521	326	178
83	He says he'd still like to remain friends, just not your best friend.	1.6674	0.02540	902	462	278	162
84	I strongly advise you to accept our settlement offer. My partner has dug up a lot of dirt on you.	1.6648	0.02493	886	442	299	145
85	They say every dog has one, and today is Max's.	1.6634	0.02586	805	400	277	128
86	I believe we need to decide, once and for all, "who rescued whom?"	1.6627	0.02594	833	421	272	140
87	My client has informed me that you have not been a good boy.	1.6611	0.02604	776	380	279	117
88	This is just the standard "Who's a Good Boy?" clause.	1.6586	0.02471	870	430	307	133
89	The final document establishes, unequivocally, who's a good boy.	1.6584	0.02651	846	445	245	156
90	My client claims that he was a good boy for the duration of the relationship.	1.6577	0.02615	815	414	266	135
91	This affidavit serves to affirm that my client is, in fact, a good boy.	1.6526	0.02673	760	384	256	120
92	My client is throwing you a huge bone. We think you should run with it.	1.6525	0.02602	777	386	275	116
93	You’re on record saying my client is a “good boy.”	1.6494	0.02520	830	418	287	125
94	He will agree to undergoing the procedure if you will as well	1.6467	0.03129	634	348	162	124
95	If you don't sign, he w-a-l-k-s.	1.6464	0.02834	724	386	209	129
96	Under the custody agreement, you will have your wife on weekends and alternate holidays while Fluffy will retain primary custody.	1.6444	0.02921	703	380	193	130
97	Technically, it's a cease and desist order, but my client prefers the terms "Sit" and "Stay."	1.6444	0.02868	717	384	204	129
98	There's overwhelming evidence that he did not eat your homework.	1.6436	0.02689	738	375	251	112
99	My client wishes to clarify the issue of " who rescued whom."	1.6436	0.02906	693	370	200	123
100	Just be a good boy and sign it.	1.6412	0.02787	694	356	231	107
101	My client is willing to give you full custody of the cat.	1.6410	0.02815	741	398	211	132
102	My client wishes to protect his right of occupancy now that you're in the doghouse, as well.	1.6406	0.02823	690	358	222	110
103	You passed the smell test, you're hired.	1.6395	0.02939	638	332	204	102
104	He'll return your left shoe if you agree to the terms.	1.6359	0.02899	596	297	219	80
105	Alleged best friend.	1.6348	0.02812	649	328	230	91
106	We think it's a fair deal. You get to keep the house, but my client gets the yard and everything buried within	1.6332	0.02871	668	351	211	106
107	It's a standard sit/stay clause.	1.6329	0.02889	632	333	202	97
108	Well, every dog has its day, and this happens to be his.	1.6312	0.03211	564	306	160	98
109	Don’t expect my client to sit here and beg.	1.6312	0.02804	751	411	206	134
110	Our final offer is 2 walks a day and no dry food.	1.6302	0.02945	622	325	202	95
111	The damages are calculated in dog years.	1.6298	0.02785	678	350	229	99
112	My client's a son of a bitch--what can I say.	1.6292	0.02990	658	363	177	118
113	My client begs to differ.	1.6289	0.02928	574	287	213	74
114	My client will agree to get "fixed", but you first.	1.6278	0.03134	634	359	152	123
115	He’d like to keep the bottom third of the bed.	1.6277	0.02976	607	318	197	92
116	Unconditional love is a thing of the past, Mr. Hoskins.	1.6271	0.03040	598	318	185	95
117	He wants his freedom--the last year has felt like seven.	1.6264	0.03017	613	333	178	102
118	He's concerned that you're thinking of having something 'fixed' when he knows it's in perfectly good working order.	1.6263	0.03153	562	301	170	91
119	Please, just sign it. Don’t make him beg.	1.6262	0.03149	535	284	169	82
120	Let’s not make this difficult. Be a good boy and sign the papers.	1.6257	0.02981	569	293	198	78
121	He'd like it in writing that he's a "good boy".	1.6246	0.02967	610	324	193	93
122	Under the terms of the will, your wife left you to the dog.	1.6242	0.03086	620	343	167	110
123	Now just sign here to confirm that my client is a ‘good boy’.	1.6241	0.03035	588	311	187	90
124	This further stipulates that he is a good boy.	1.6234	0.03007	616	331	186	99
125	He'll keep the house and the kids, but you can have the cat.	1.6230	0.03225	549	299	158	92
126	Your ex is offering Sparky unlimited walks, snacks, car rides and access to the shoe closet. I think we can do better.	1.6224	0.02974	625	335	191	99
127	He's willing to consider the "Don't bite the hand that feeds you" clause.	1.6206	0.02920	601	311	207	83
128	The settlement to be paid over 50 years, and yes, those are dog years.	1.6198	0.03065	555	290	186	79
129	THREE walks a day.	1.6196	0.03183	552	299	164	89
130	My client would also like you to agree unconditionally that he is a good boy.	1.6186	0.02971	569	312	170	87
131	My client is claiming possession of the back yard and anything buried therein.	1.6181	0.03134	542	287	175	80
132	My client insists he was in fact a good boy.	1.6175	0.03161	536	285	171	80
133	My client would like you to agree that you will no longer tell him when or where to sit.	1.6174	0.03108	528	274	182	72
134	My client will never roll over.	1.6171	0.03084	551	290	182	79
135	And finally, you attest that he's a good boy.	1.6161	0.03053	573	305	183	85
136	As you’ll see my client has marked his territory.	1.6154	0.02960	559	298	183	78
137	If you didn't feel the need to pet every dog you come across, we wouldn't be here.	1.6146	0.03312	519	286	147	86
138	She also wants you to stop telling her that she is a “good boy.”	1.6144	0.03326	542	307	137	98
139	We're confident we can prove in court that he's a good boy.	1.6144	0.03230	529	287	159	83
140	My client says get rid of the cat and all is forgotten.	1.6138	0.03169	549	303	157	89
141	The dog wants you to keep the cat.	1.6135	0.03072	564	306	173	85
142	Now, the no-neuter clause.	1.6128	0.03325	532	299	140	93
143	All this could have been avoided if you had been a good boy, too.	1.6120	0.03390	500	278	138	84
144	My client insists that if he is to live with you, he shall be free to lick himself wherever and whenever he wants."	1.6118	0.03303	510	279	150	81
145	He wants the food bowl,the tennis balls,and your slippers, but you can have the house and the leash.	1.6108	0.03111	537	298	157	82
146	Mr. Snuggles is willing to drop his defamation lawsuit if you issue a public apology confirming that he is, in fact, a good boy.	1.6096	0.03196	520	279	165	76
147	For no more baths, my client will keep helping you pick up women.	1.6088	0.03516	478	271	123	84
148	He wants sole custody of the ball.	1.6060	0.03280	500	279	142	79
149	This should be a fair offer to compensate you for the loss of your homework.	1.6057	0.03473	459	253	134	72
150	Every dog has his day, and sir, today is his day.	1.6051	0.03351	471	254	149	68
151	No cats or the deal's off.	1.6050	0.03456	438	235	141	62
152	Think carefully, your wife made Dolly a great offer	1.6038	0.03292	472	256	150	66
153	No need to sign this one; it's just for cleaning up his accidents.	1.6020	0.03612	402	217	128	57
154	My client would like to start sniffing other people.”	1.6005	0.03674	428	243	113	72
155	Before you call these custody terms unfair, please recall that you did in fact neuter my client.	1.5991	0.03566	449	254	121	74
156	My client tells me you left her alone for a million years every day, is that true?	1.5984	0.03256	508	287	141	80
157	My client isn't going to just roll over on this.	1.5983	0.03439	468	261	134	73
158	It's a pretty standard rollover agreement.	1.5978	0.03289	455	240	158	57
159	This time she’s taking you to the groomers	1.5959	0.03281	490	273	144	73
160	Aside from your resume, he wants to know if you've been a good boy.	1.5953	0.03352	467	255	146	66
161	Final offer, Mr. Andrews. If you don’t accept, we W-A-L-K.	1.5945	0.03593	434	245	120	69
162	If you're not willing to sign, my client is ready to w-a-l-k.	1.5944	0.03385	503	288	131	84
163	If we have a deal, my client will shake on it.	1.5940	0.03320	468	254	150	64
164	You can have the house. He's just asking for your slippers.	1.5934	0.03211	519	287	156	76
165	He won’t roll over so easily this time.	1.5928	0.03411	447	244	141	62
166	And he gets to keep your wife.	1.5918	0.03650	441	256	109	76
167	So it's agreed: joint custody of your wife.	1.5918	0.03521	441	247	127	67
168	Sorry, but your proposal just doesn't pass the sniff test.	1.5908	0.03236	479	260	156	63
169	No, half of your shoes means one from each pair.	1.5903	0.03740	432	255	99	78
170	Your emotional support animal would like his own emotional support animal to help him cope with your increasing demands.	1.5902	0.03648	410	230	118	62
171	He is offering you exclusive use of fifty percent of the bed. I think it's a good deal.	1.5889	0.03453	450	251	133	66
172	That leaves us with the custody of the squeaky toys.	1.5887	0.03190	479	263	153	63
173	Now it’s your turn to roll over.	1.5881	0.03444	420	229	136	55
174	Nowhere in this document has he agreed to be your best friend.	1.5876	0.03361	451	249	142	60
175	He's a got a bone to pick	1.5875	0.03570	417	232	125	60
176	You can have the house but we want the front and back yard.	1.5871	0.03281	448	244	148	56
177	I'd recommend taking the deal, sir. 30 minutes of fetch per day is quite generous, especially considering what you had the vet do to my client.	1.5864	0.03578	457	267	112	78
178	My client would like to make this go away. And come back. And go away. And come back.	1.5826	0.03540	448	258	119	71
179	No more verbal assurances. He wants a signed statement to the effect that he’s a very good boy.	1.5821	0.03609	414	234	119	61
180	I think you'll find this settlement more than fair, given the condition of your rug prior to the incident.	1.5804	0.03824	367	210	102	55
181	What? Did you think he'd just roll over.	1.5798	0.03876	357	202	103	52
182	My client refuses to rollover.	1.5791	0.03348	430	232	147	51
183	My client stipulates that he’s a good boy. You need no longer ask.	1.5789	0.03844	361	204	105	52
184	He won't budge...he gets vaccinated when you get vaccinated."	1.5788	0.03823	387	225	100	62
185	As per the agreement, he’s willing to remain friends, just not best friends.	1.5773	0.03355	440	241	144	55
186	And more bacon. Much more bacon.	1.5769	0.03408	390	214	132	44
187	He’s willing to give you the cat.	1.5769	0.03434	442	248	133	61
188	Of course, Sparky will also have similar decision making authority to put you down under comparable circumstances.	1.5768	0.03707	423	250	102	71
189	The terms are no neutering, no cats, and 50% of online video royalties.	1.5759	0.03432	415	237	123	55
190	My client insists on a seat at the table, not under it.	1.5758	0.03430	422	238	130	54
191	If you agree to stop inviting people over to your house, he'll agree to stop barking when the doorbell rings.	1.5738	0.03982	359	211	90	58
192	So the only issue left to resolve is who gets the wife?	1.5726	0.03961	379	228	85	66
193	Pepper has reason to believe you have been playing with other dogs.	1.5725	0.03599	386	214	123	49
194	In light of his growing income from dog food commercials, he's suing to end your conservatorship	1.5711	0.03390	450	254	135	61
195	Our final offer: two more trips to the dog park each week, or we walk.	1.5703	0.03614	384	214	121	49
196	And finally, you must agree that it was he who rescued you.	1.5703	0.03698	370	207	115	48
197	Murphy would like to renegotiate the terms of his leash.	1.5702	0.03849	356	203	103	50
198	By signing here you agree that my client is a "great boy" and you will no longer refer to him as simply a "good boy".	1.5697	0.03427	423	235	135	53
199	We think it's a fair price considering he knows where the bones are buried.	1.5670	0.03637	418	245	109	64
200	And then these are the assets that aren't buried in the backyard.	1.5666	0.03661	383	217	115	51
201	If he has to get neutered, so do you.	1.5665	0.04041	346	205	86	55
202	He says it’s your turn to roll over.	1.5650	0.03867	331	185	105	41
203	And don’t try any tricks. He may be old , but he knows them all.	1.5641	0.03596	429	253	110	66
204	Here’s your settlement agreement. You get the car and the cat, he gets the tennis ball and the spot in front of the fireplace.	1.5637	0.03762	353	206	98	49
205	Who's rolling over now?	1.5632	0.03847	364	212	99	53
206	I know it’s yet another indignity, but he’s going to need you to sign for him.	1.5630	0.03737	373	214	108	51
207	I know he is your best friend, but it's always best to have it in writing.	1.5627	0.03856	343	195	103	45
208	Of course, this is just a ruff draft.	1.5623	0.03773	345	193	110	42
209	Maybe you weren’t aware you signed a pre-pup.	1.5610	0.04151	328	196	80	52
210	In my client’s defense, he was simply marking his territory.	1.5605	0.03609	380	214	119	47
211	My client is prepared to settle if he gets the couch.	1.5595	0.03979	311	175	98	38
212	My client agrees to let you have the small house outside.	1.5591	0.03915	381	232	85	64
213	He wants to know if you’ve had all of your shots.	1.5584	0.04140	351	217	72	62
214	And we must insist that the offer includes a rollover plan.	1.5581	0.03762	387	229	100	58
215	Barney here wrote down a number. Or lose the cat and we can make this whole thing go away. Your choice.	1.5578	0.03733	398	237	100	61
216	Let's go over a few things before the cat and her counsel arrive.	1.5577	0.03884	355	208	96	51
217	Weekday papers only,a dog door to the terrace,and he gets half your bed. No cats.	1.5576	0.04058	321	187	89	45
218	Now be a good boy and sign.	1.5565	0.03569	345	191	118	36
219	Fake ball-throwing was the primary reason.	1.5563	0.03981	311	176	97	38
220	The dog wants you sent to obedience training	1.5562	0.03803	347	203	97	47
221	According to my client, you were the rescue.	1.5559	0.04298	286	167	79	40
222	He wants to stay friends, just not best friends.	1.5559	0.03715	358	203	111	44
223	And is it true you were just pretending to throw the ball?	1.5550	0.03702	373	217	106	50
224	So if we can agree on wet food at least 3 nights a week, can we get this done?	1.5543	0.03599	368	206	120	42
225	All we need is a brief statement about what REALLY happened to your homework.	1.5538	0.03974	325	188	94	43
226	This contract ensures that you will never pretend to throw the ball again.	1.5538	0.04109	316	186	85	45
227	In case of your demise he would like to reside with a single older lady who cooks.	1.5533	0.03858	338	194	101	43
228	The last item to discuss is the slippers.	1.5531	0.03544	367	203	125	39
229	My client proposes that you get the kids and she gets your wife.	1.5531	0.03788	367	215	101	51
230	He eats what you eat, or it's no deal	1.5530	0.03766	349	199	107	43
231	Now let's talk about the rollover.	1.5510	0.04013	294	165	96	33
232	You expect my client to just rollover and accept this?	1.5506	0.04086	316	186	86	44
233	OK, Mr. Smith, Benji gets the house, the couch, and your slippers, and you keep the cat.	1.5501	0.03917	349	207	92	50
234	I’d like to remind you that the “mere” 7 years of companionship meant 49 to my client.	1.5500	0.03552	360	199	124	37
235	This version of the prepup agreement specifies two walks a day, the right to hang his head out the car window, and a weekly clean ball.	1.5494	0.03900	324	193	87	44
236	My client has written down a number representing what he feels is a fair number of treats per day.	1.5493	0.03944	304	171	99	34
237	And lastly, that you take down that offensive print of Dogs Playing Poker.	1.5481	0.03883	312	183	90	39
238	He says he no longer wishes to be a good boy.	1.5470	0.03790	362	213	100	49
239	My clients agrees to come down to three walks a day, provided there's no eye contact while he poops.	1.5468	0.04216	278	160	84	34
240	I suggest you accept his terms or he’s prepared to use his sad puppy dog eyes in front of the judge.	1.5441	0.04218	261	152	78	31
241	He’s only serving you one paper. He ate the others.	1.5437	0.04259	309	189	72	48
242	He's agreed that you can have the house... but he wants the run of the backyard	1.5433	0.03560	381	221	114	46
243	Once signed, these documents will legally state that my client is no longer your best friend.	1.5428	0.03946	304	173	97	34
244	He is suing you along with the veterinarian in that little "snip snip" thing you guys pulled.	1.5421	0.04182	297	176	81	40
245	Trust me, this is much better than you'll do before a jury of his peers!	1.5408	0.03685	368	215	107	46
246	We need to depose the cat.	1.5395	0.03920	304	173	98	33
247	My client offers to reconcile, but the cat goes.	1.5395	0.04002	304	176	92	36
248	Speaking bluntly and in Layman’s terms…He’ wants his balls back.	1.5394	0.04201	317	195	73	49
249	Half of the treats and you would retain the cat.	1.5392	0.03940	293	165	98	30
250	Just counter-urinate where indicated and we’re done.”	1.5392	0.04075	332	205	76	51
251	He says you can have the dog house but the condo in Hawaii is his.	1.5377	0.04182	292	173	81	38
252	Sit. Sign. Goood boyyy.	1.5370	0.04345	270	160	75	35
253	Now let's be a good boy and sign the papers.	1.5369	0.03748	352	209	99	44
254	You should have thought long and hard before you had him neutered.”	1.5367	0.04096	313	188	82	43
255	Yes, her signature page is missing. She claims you ate it.	1.5364	0.04262	302	185	72	45
256	She IS a bitch - just sign.	1.5356	0.04287	295	180	72	43
257	This document stipulates your understanding that Max remains man's best friend...but no longer your best friend."	1.5350	0.04306	286	173	73	40
258	He no longer wants to be man's best friend.	1.5345	0.03802	290	177	78	35
259	My client insists he has been nothing but a good boy.	1.5343	0.03486	277	161	92	24
260	He’d like to cut right to the chase.	1.5333	0.04409	270	163	70	37
261	She wants the rubber bone and the tennis balls, but is willing to let you have the cat.	1.5327	0.03939	336	205	84	47
262	Baxter insists on keeping the house, but he’s offering you full custody of the cat.	1.5323	0.03836	325	189	99	37
263	Among his complaints are that you consistently talk down to him.	1.5315	0.04279	286	173	74	39
264	And finally, Mr. Cuddly Wuddly requests a name change to Thor.	1.5311	0.04814	241	150	54	37
265	He wants half the bed.	1.5309	0.03867	307	176	99	32
266	My client contends you're the one who is not a 'good boy'	1.5308	0.04239	292	177	75	40
267	Please refer to my client as Good Boy, in all further correspondence.	1.5308	0.04098	292	172	85	35
268	It was down to the two of you,but he was vaccinated.	1.5304	0.04688	247	152	59	36
269	I realize you were expecting a better offer, but my client has me on a short leash.	1.5302	0.04033	281	161	91	29
270	He wants a 401K9	1.5298	0.04262	285	172	75	38
271	The dog keeps your wife in the divorce.	1.5288	0.04011	295	172	90	33
272	I’m representing him pro-BONE-o	1.5287	0.04559	261	161	62	38
273	In the event of dissolution, the floppy fish, Mr. Moose, and the braided chewy sticks will remain my client's separate property.	1.5284	0.03943	299	173	94	32
274	Final offer: You stop snoring and he stops peeing on the carpet.	1.5283	0.03886	318	189	91	38
275	He claims he was more than just your best friend.	1.5281	0.04417	267	162	69	36
276	Well, we already know who scored better on loyalty.	1.5278	0.04200	288	173	78	37
277	Biting him certainly made the news, but it's going to cost you	1.5278	0.04406	252	149	73	30
278	I'm sorry but he scored higher on the obedience test	1.5276	0.04363	254	157	63	34
279	This one dissolves my client’s responsibilities as man’s best friend.	1.5274	0.04156	292	177	77	38
280	It was a one year leash and you broke it.	1.5273	0.04380	275	168	69	38
281	Here is a list of his commands.	1.5270	0.04030	296	174	88	34
282	These are our terms, or we W-A-L-K.	1.5270	0.04103	315	193	78	44
283	Let me be perfectly clear, Mr Rochester, from a legal perspective, his bark is most certainly not worse than his bite.	1.5267	0.04247	262	153	80	29
284	Per the agreement, my client will retain sole custody of all of your left shoes.	1.5266	0.04064	319	195	80	44
285	And this one stipulates that you are a bad, bad boy.	1.5265	0.04154	264	154	82	28
286	He wants his nuts back.	1.5265	0.04429	283	177	63	43
287	She may be a bitch, but she wants to settle!	1.5261	0.04590	249	152	63	34
288	My client will need some time to chew this over.	1.5257	0.04394	253	150	73	30
289	Did you think that my client would simply roll over and play dead?	1.5250	0.04533	240	143	68	29
290	Regardless of who paid for it, my client is entitled to anything he peed on during the time you were together.	1.5249	0.04117	301	182	80	39
291	And finally, upon separation we retain all rights to the title "Man's Best Friend"...	1.5244	0.03950	307	184	87	36
292	You can see the puppies every other weekend, and my client gets the house.	1.5238	0.04371	252	149	74	29
293	He's now willing to greet you at the front door after work for three days a week.	1.5233	0.04242	279	168	76	35
294	I can assure you, whether you sign or not, my client is ready to walk.	1.5230	0.04192	304	188	73	43
295	Our terms are final... what he licks is his own business.	1.5220	0.04041	295	175	86	34
296	You get to keep the house but she wants to have unlimited access to the tree.	1.5213	0.04209	282	170	77	35
297	The dog wants custody of your children.	1.5211	0.04528	261	162	62	37
298	Either you agree to his terms or we w-a-l-k	1.5205	0.04351	292	184	64	44
299	These records will show that my client was, in fact, a very good boy	1.5205	0.04325	244	142	77	25
300	No worries. Bentley helps us identify candidates with strong interpersonal skills and good personal hygiene.	1.5200	0.04647	250	156	58	36
301	He says everything he peed on is his.	1.5200	0.04182	300	185	74	41
302	Who wants to sign this release? Who wants to sign this release? Who's a good boy? You are! You're a good boy!	1.5198	0.04372	252	150	73	29
303	He wants three walks a day and two belly rubs. That’s his final offer.	1.5196	0.03762	331	195	100	36
304	My client said she already peed on everything she wants in the split.	1.5182	0.04511	247	150	66	31
305	My client demands that you cease and desist on blaming her for your farts..	1.5180	0.04463	278	176	60	42
306	It looks like you signed a pre-pup, so you're not entitled to anything.	1.5180	0.04162	278	166	80	32
307	…and in turn you agree to allow the ball in the house.	1.5176	0.03921	313	187	90	36
308	All he’s asking for is his chewy, the doghouse, and his testicles back”	1.5175	0.04746	257	166	49	42
309	He says in lieu for a signed agreement, he would like to "Shake on it."	1.5168	0.04484	238	142	69	27
310	He wants the little house out back.	1.5164	0.04085	244	142	80	22
311	He says he wants the house and the yard.	1.5163	0.04526	246	150	65	31
312	You retain the apartment and all its furnishings. He gets the Ohio State sweatshirt and both Adidas sneakers.	1.5148	0.04139	270	165	74	31
313	Sir, I'm afraid you're barking up the wrong tree.	1.5145	0.04365	241	142	74	25
314	My client expected that response, Mr Pavlov.	1.5142	0.04844	212	129	57	26
315	Now who’s a good lawyer?	1.5134	0.04363	261	159	70	32
316	He keeps the house, wife and kids ; you get the cat.	1.5115	0.04510	260	163	61	36
317	My advice is to give the dog a bone.	1.5110	0.04134	272	162	81	29
318	As you can see, Fido alleges you violated the non-compete clause when you called another dog a 'good, good boy.'	1.5104	0.04011	288	179	74	35
319	You can keep the house, but the backyard is hers.	1.5098	0.04335	255	154	72	29
320	My client wishes to codify BEST friend.	1.5094	0.04281	265	161	73	31
321	She says you rub her the wrong way.	1.5092	0.04339	271	168	68	35
322	He wants a pre-pup.	1.5090	0.04298	277	172	69	36
323	Just remember. He knows where all the bones are buried.	1.5086	0.04141	291	179	76	36
324	And here’s your part of the inheritance.	1.5077	0.04308	260	164	64	32
325	He's offering you full custody of the cats.	1.5077	0.04410	260	161	66	33
326	You get the house, Rex gets the yard.	1.5075	0.04061	268	165	73	30
327	Not only didn’t he eat your homework, he actually did your homework.	1.5074	0.05054	203	127	49	27
328	Our position is, that the car was chasing him.	1.5068	0.04911	221	140	50	31
329	Actually the terms of the will stipulate he owns you.	1.5059	0.04227	255	152	77	26
330	Okay, now it’s your turn to beg.	1.5057	0.04169	263	157	79	27
331	I'm sorry but it looks like he'll be keeping the wife.	1.5051	0.05051	198	123	50	25
332	He says that you can have the house but he gets the yard.	1.5043	0.04559	230	140	64	26
333	Your resume is very impressive, but he’d still like to see how you beg.	1.5037	0.04199	272	166	75	31
334	That's our final offer. We're not willing to beg.	1.5025	0.04599	203	119	66	18
335	Now, please sign your copy of the leash agreement.	1.5021	0.04475	233	141	67	25
336	My client believes you've known who the good boy is all along.	1.5021	0.04716	233	147	55	31
337	You led my client to believe that you'd be staying at home forever.	1.5021	0.04557	233	143	63	27
338	We’re flexible on leash length but food dish size is not negotiable.	1.5021	0.04234	237	141	74	22
339	I'm afraid the butt sniffing is non negotiable	1.5019	0.03997	259	150	88	21
340	All he wants are your shoes.	1.5019	0.04282	265	163	71	31
341	Here is his proof of vaccination. Now can he see yours?	1.5018	0.04524	271	176	54	41
342	And this affidavit states that my client is indeed a "good boy" in perpetuity or until he wets the carpet.	1.5000	0.03832	246	156	65	25
343	You should've signed a prenup, Waffles will now own everything he has peed on.	1.5000	0.04612	232	144	60	28
344	And this document lets you out of the leash agreement.	1.5000	0.04778	216	134	56	26
345	He’ll agree to be neutered once you’re home recovering from your vasectomy.	1.5000	0.04908	226	146	47	33
346	Look at the bright side - we’ve prorated the settlement in dog years.	1.5000	0.04444	260	164	62	34
347	He points out that the choice of wall-to-wall carpeting wasn't his own.	1.5000	0.04016	264	155	86	23
348	He’ll sleep on the floor—but three walks a day is non-negotiable.	1.4980	0.03944	255	154	78	23
349	Our suit further contends that you're statement: "Come on boy, we're getting you fixed today!" was vague and misleading."	1.4980	0.04522	249	157	60	32
350	My client requests that you throw him a bone."	1.4979	0.04338	237	142	72	23
351	My client no longer wishes to sit, stay or heel.	1.4978	0.04708	231	146	55	30
352	Just a formality before you're adopted	1.4977	0.04697	221	137	58	26
353	This is his offer. I think you'll find it more than fair. He just wants out.	1.4965	0.03904	288	177	81	30
354	He’s had his vaccinations. And you?	1.4960	0.04363	250	154	68	28
355	He gets the wife.	1.4959	0.04706	246	160	50	36
356	Don't make him beg . . .	1.4958	0.04406	238	145	68	25
357	Now, this is the couch share agreement	1.4955	0.04606	224	138	61	25
358	It's an 'unrestraining order.' My client feels he no longer needs to be leashed on walks.	1.4954	0.04563	218	132	64	22
359	My client wants assurances that he is indeed a good boy.	1.4949	0.05140	196	125	45	26
360	He might not bring much to the table, but he'll get anything that falls under it.	1.4949	0.04933	196	121	53	22
361	My client requests custody of the blue zippy leash,the downstairs fuzzy dog bed,and the girlfriend. You may keep the cats.	1.4947	0.04177	285	179	71	35
362	He gave you the best 89 years of his life, Kevin.	1.4939	0.04391	245	151	67	27
363	Friendship aside, he claims you took his manhood.	1.4938	0.04379	243	149	68	26
364	After transfer of half of your old shoes, my client will provide information on where your car keys are buried.	1.4937	0.04392	239	146	68	25
365	Shake?	1.4936	0.04301	235	143	69	23
366	My client maintains HE walked YOU.	1.4936	0.04488	235	145	64	26
367	He's not going to roll over anymore	1.4934	0.04297	227	134	74	19
368	We would like you to start training your replacement.	1.4932	0.04518	221	134	65	22
369	And now YOU beg.	1.4930	0.04514	215	129	66	20
370	And finally, my client cites your ongoing kindness to the mailman, despite her repeated objections.	1.4924	0.04145	262	159	77	26
371	He gets the house in the Hamptons, you get the cat.	1.4924	0.04249	262	162	71	29
372	It’s a standard pre-pup agreement, listing your duties about food, exercise, ear scratching and waste removal.	1.4922	0.04298	258	160	69	29
373	My client's not going to roll over on this.	1.4916	0.04304	238	146	68	24
374	She wants her house AND yours.	1.4915	0.04582	234	147	59	28
375	My client won’t take any deals under the table, unless you have scraps.	1.4911	0.04563	224	138	62	24
376	My client has a few bones to pick with you.	1.4907	0.04480	214	128	67	19
377	I would advise you to sign, in this case, his bite IS bigger than his bark.	1.4904	0.04049	261	156	82	23
378	Spike says he’ll adopt you but you have to get neutered	1.4904	0.04364	261	165	64	32
379	My client has requested that you immediately disclose the whereabouts of the ball.	1.4904	0.04227	261	161	72	28
380	You can keep Mr. Squooshy, he will take the lake house.	1.4903	0.04998	206	132	47	27
381	By signing this you agree that the phrases “good girl” and “bad girl” are subject to binding arbitration.	1.4900	0.04458	251	159	61	31
382	Although your father left the majority of his estate to Buddy, he did bequeath you his favorite chew toy.	1.4898	0.04770	196	119	58	19
383	He thinks you are an appropriate rescue. Just sign here and he will take you home.	1.4892	0.05071	186	116	49	21
384	Yes, you are being let go. Yes, you are.	1.4890	0.04561	227	141	61	25
385	Before you sign your employment contract, we just have a little sniff test to complete	1.4887	0.04608	221	137	60	24
386	I think we both know there's no material difference between a crate and a cage.	1.4884	0.04465	215	129	67	19
387	While my client appreciates your offer of rescue, she does insist on some specific terms in the leash agreement	1.4872	0.04676	195	117	61	17
388	So, it's settled. He gets custody of the cat.	1.4864	0.04130	257	156	77	24
389	It’s a list of pet peeves.	1.4862	0.05054	181	112	50	19
390	True, but in dog years, he has far more experience....	1.4858	0.04656	212	131	59	22
391	Yes Dave, this is because of 'the testicles thing.'	1.4857	0.05428	175	113	39	23
392	You agree to provide treats for no apparent reason.	1.4848	0.04789	198	122	56	20
393	It’s the standard prepup.	1.4846	0.04645	227	144	56	27
394	He wants more time with your ex-wife.	1.4839	0.04350	248	155	66	27
395	You can keep the house but my client wants the right to sniff and urinate anywhere in the yard.	1.4837	0.04000	246	162	56	28
396	Lucky has agreed to stop barking at the mailman if you agree to re-home the cat.	1.4835	0.05211	182	116	44	22
397	We are sorry to let you go, but I’m afraid you just don’t have what it takes to be top dog around here.	1.4835	0.04972	182	112	52	18
398	To make things easier, my client has asked me to throw you a bone.	1.4831	0.04350	207	129	59	19
399	You can keep the house, but I'm afraid the backyard is non-negotiable.	1.4831	0.04611	236	154	51	31
400	Be that as it may, your late father's will was QUITE specific	1.4826	0.05115	172	106	49	17
401	You get the house, the car, and the cabin at the lake and he wants that smelly carcass behind the tool shed.	1.4825	0.04588	228	144	58	26
402	Please sign this retraction, acknowledging that my client is not now, nor has he ever been your "best friend".	1.4825	0.04460	228	143	61	24
403	My client wants all his balls back. And yours.	1.4822	0.04965	197	125	49	23
404	My client agrees to the sale of the house, but he wishes to retain his interest in the bones buried in the back yard.	1.4813	0.04244	241	147	72	22
405	He dog-eared the important pages.	1.4811	0.04750	212	134	54	24
406	You have impressed our top dog. Here is our offer.	1.4809	0.04486	235	148	61	26
407	My client will drop the 'involuntary sterilization' lawsuit in exchange for the 'exclusive lifetime co-habitation' agreement.	1.4803	0.04274	254	159	68	27
408	She began here as an emotional support animal. Now, she’s our head of HR.	1.4802	0.04728	227	147	51	29
409	He's generously offered you full custody of the cat.	1.4800	0.04320	275	179	60	36
410	My client thinks you're the one who should move to the farm upstate.	1.4800	0.04909	200	127	50	23
411	You may call it 'puppy love', but it was inappropriate.	1.4798	0.04946	198	126	49	23
412	Did you or did you not engage in heavy petting with my client?	1.4793	0.04714	217	138	54	25
413	Look on the bright side,he finally brought you the papers	1.4793	0.04623	217	136	58	23
414	Now that you have adopted a cat, he needs this 'best friend' thing in writing.	1.4790	0.04384	238	151	61	26
415	Fido and I have come to an agreement on your remote work plan. He gets you at home Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, and I get you in the office on Tuesday and Thursday.	1.4787	0.04670	211	132	57	22
416	As we agreed, you get the cat.	1.4775	0.04591	222	140	58	24
417	Of course, we all know perfectly well who "a good boy" is but my client would prefer an official statement.	1.4772	0.04324	241	150	67	24
418	If you think we’re just going to roll over on this, you’re barking up the wrong tree.	1.4767	0.05498	172	113	36	23
419	Closing on a doghouse is uncommon, but not unprecedented.	1.4766	0.04622	214	134	58	22
420	Our final offer: three walks a day with treats.	1.4764	0.04173	233	140	75	18
421	He gets all the toys and visitation rights on the sofa.	1.4760	0.04155	229	139	72	18
422	Just because my client is wagging his tail doesn't mean he's waiving his rights.	1.4757	0.04852	185	114	54	17
423	And nothing for the cat.	1.4752	0.04872	202	129	50	23
424	Sorry Bill, we have to let you go. Fido just had better ideas for the dog food campaign.	1.4737	0.04751	209	133	53	23
425	He wants to know if you’re a good boy. Yes he does. He wants to know if you’re a good boy.	1.4734	0.05140	188	122	43	23
426	You can either sign or wipe your butt on the dotted line.	1.4732	0.04917	205	133	47	25
427	Only if both of you are neutered.	1.4731	0.05292	186	123	38	25
428	This simply redefines my client's relationship to you from "best friend" to "conscenting companion"...	1.4731	0.05010	186	118	48	20
429	And what would you do if Mr. Freckles had neutered you, Mr. Adams?	1.4728	0.04623	239	157	51	31
430	We like the your CV,but my client needs to know more about your ball throwing abilities.	1.4727	0.04575	220	139	58	23
431	My client simply wishes to expand upon, clarify, and memorialize the definition of "Man's best friend," should you ever choose to modify your gender identity.	1.4725	0.04908	182	113	52	17
432	By signing this document you agree that under no circumstances will you talk to him like he’s a baby.	1.4725	0.04970	182	114	50	18
433	She gets the dog house and that large building next to it.	1.4721	0.04857	197	125	51	21
434	And this is just a copy of the one my client ate.	1.4716	0.04963	176	109	51	16
435	His value has gone significantly up since his cousin won Westminster.	1.4715	0.04100	246	152	73	21
436	I think we're going to give Max the Kibble Account. He has more experience.	1.4715	0.05092	193	126	43	24
437	My client will only do the film if he doesn't die in the end.	1.4712	0.05024	191	123	46	22
438	…And for the record, my client is a “good boy”	1.4711	0.04500	225	142	60	23
439	You didn’t pass the smell test.	1.4709	0.04751	206	131	53	22
440	He objects to your characterization of the relationship as being one between "dog and master". Further, he states that your insistent and changing demands of "shake hands" and "give me kisses" confuses him and makes him feel very uncomfortable.	1.4706	0.05087	170	106	48	16
441	You can keep the vaccum, the nail clippers, the correction collar, the Yoko Ono album and the cat.	1.4706	0.05378	187	126	34	27
442	This is my client’s final offer, you get vaccinated and he will wear the flea collar.	1.4700	0.04958	200	130	46	24
443	Our dress code requires you to wear a necktie or collar.	1.4691	0.04965	194	125	47	22
444	You'll have to deal with him. He inherited all of Marge's money.	1.4683	0.04546	252	168	50	34
445	He WAS your best friend.	1.4681	0.04735	188	116	56	16
446	He keeps the big house, you get the little red one in back.	1.4680	0.04852	203	131	49	23
447	The agreement calls for two walks per day and no dry food on weekends	1.4679	0.04511	218	137	60	21
448	Chew on this.	1.4677	0.04831	186	116	53	17
449	And finally, by signing here, you agree to always be a good boy.	1.4673	0.04667	214	137	54	23
450	My client believes that after 11 years you should know who's a good dog.	1.4670	0.05379	182	122	35	25
451	Rover is our head of HR. Do you mind if he gives your butt a sniff ?	1.4670	0.04961	197	128	46	23
452	And this absolves liability for damage to shoes.	1.4670	0.04856	197	126	50	21
453	You get custody of the tennis ball, but not the squeaky duck.	1.4670	0.04426	227	143	62	22
454	You passed the sniff test. Welcome to the pack!	1.4667	0.04410	225	141	63	21
455	My client insists that he keeps his balls.	1.4667	0.04967	210	140	42	28
456	...retracting your prior claim that my client did consume written materials, belonging to you, which were academic in nature	1.4667	0.04586	225	145	55	25
457	I think you’ll find our terms unintelligible.	1.4663	0.04909	208	137	45	26
458	Don't underestimate him, he has a keen nose for bull shit.	1.4663	0.04929	193	124	48	21
459	My client would also like to retain all tennis balls and dirty socks.	1.4660	0.04740	191	119	55	17
460	My client wants the house. The big house.	1.4659	0.05153	176	113	44	19
461	So,you acknowledge that you brought the cat home?	1.4657	0.04733	204	130	53	21
462	And we'll need three professional references to establish that you are a good boy.	1.4655	0.05067	174	110	47	17
463	You can have the doghouse.	1.4655	0.04566	232	151	54	27
464	Please review my client’s ruff draft.	1.4649	0.04726	185	114	56	15
465	It's just a standard release of liability for any unforeseen acts of chewing, peeing, or leg-humping.	1.4645	0.05008	183	117	47	19
466	He says that you treat him like a dog. How do you respond?	1.4633	0.03880	218	138	64	16
467	She gets the house - and before you ask, yes the big one.	1.4632	0.05150	190	126	40	24
468	Have you now or have you ever referred to the defendant as a "good boy"	1.4631	0.04800	203	131	50	22
469	He says he didn’t eat your homework!	1.4630	0.05264	162	103	43	16
470	My client asks that you balance the pen on your nose until he tells you it's okay to sign.	1.4628	0.04792	188	118	53	17
471	Just remember to divide the offer number by 7 to get it into human dollars.	1.4624	0.05153	173	111	44	18
472	He wants joint custody of the cat.	1.4623	0.04922	199	130	46	23
473	Don’t worry, it’s your standard pre-pup agreement	1.4619	0.04533	210	132	59	19
474	The tennis balls are his, and you can keep the cat.	1.4619	0.04730	210	136	51	23
475	Your mother left everything to Buster… but he would like you to have this allowance.	1.4615	0.05087	182	118	44	20
476	Sorry, but we're looking for someone who can do new tricks.	1.4611	0.04934	167	103	51	13
477	Unfortunately, your mother left all of her estate to Chester.	1.4610	0.05383	154	98	41	15
478	True. You might convince the judge to toss it. But my client would undoubtedly bring it back.	1.4606	0.05670	165	112	30	23
479	Please don’t call my client a bitch!	1.4604	0.05114	202	137	37	28
480	Be a good boy and take the offer.	1.4602	0.05151	176	114	43	19
481	He gets the slippers.	1.4601	0.04942	163	100	51	12
482	My client wants the couch 24-7.	1.4600	0.04694	200	127	54	19
483	He gets the cat. That's nonnegotiable.	1.4599	0.04532	237	156	53	28
484	He says he will finance the development if you put in more fire hydrants.	1.4599	0.04657	187	118	53	16
485	He is asking for a non-neutering agreement.	1.4597	0.04760	211	138	49	24
486	She’s offering to let you keep the cat.	1.4593	0.04794	209	137	48	24
487	My client keeps all the kibble, all the Tasty Treets, and your fuzzy left slipper.	1.4583	0.05027	192	129	39	24
488	Pretty standard stuff. You throw, he fetches but won't give back.	1.4583	0.04776	192	122	52	18
489	He's here to provide emotional support.	1.4583	0.04585	216	139	55	22
490	My client maintains that in the end you are actually a cat person.	1.4581	0.05148	179	117	42	20
491	Finally, she demands you refrain from referring to her as a bitch.	1.4579	0.04754	190	120	53	17
492	You get the leash, but he keeps his ball.	1.4579	0.04754	190	120	53	17
493	My client requests restitution for the damages done to his reputation based on your slander that he is a, quote, ‘bad dog’.	1.4573	0.04628	199	128	52	19
494	He says you can keep the doghouse, but he wants the couch.	1.4573	0.04709	199	127	53	19
495	I'm giving you his walking papers.	1.4570	0.04766	186	117	53	16
496	Ruff finds your demands to beg, heel, stay, and fetch demeaning. This is a cease and desist.	1.4570	0.04826	186	118	51	17
497	Your mother left Scruffy here in your care along with these instructions on how to invest his inheritance.	1.4560	0.05024	182	118	45	19
498	We think you'll play ball.	1.4558	0.04455	215	136	60	19
499	Bailey asserts that both the tennis balls and the relationship are irretrievable.	1.4556	0.05102	169	108	45	16
500	He'll settle for five minutes alone with the mailman.	1.4554	0.04386	202	124	64	14
501	Every dog has its day. And if he also has a $725 per hour attorney, a dog can have quite a day.	1.4550	0.04529	189	121	52	16
502	Your dog says you were the one who peed on the rug. Care to modify your witness statement...?	1.4545	0.04866	187	120	49	18
503	You keep the house, but he gets the yard.	1.4545	0.04832	198	129	48	21
504	Now if you'll just sniff these papers..	1.4541	0.05022	185	121	44	20
505	Would you have any problem reporting to a dog?	1.4541	0.04721	185	116	54	15
506	My client is willing to move on number of walks per day, but tummy rubs are non-negotiable.	1.4537	0.04377	227	145	61	21
507	The counteroffer is fair, no more chewing your shoes but the toilet seat must be left up.	1.4528	0.04499	212	135	58	19
508	It turns out his love is conditional	1.4520	0.05063	177	115	44	18
509	Ruff is the sole heir. But he wants you to have the house in the Hamptons; he never liked the beach.	1.4519	0.04351	208	129	64	15
510	He wants his testicles back in the settlement.	1.4516	0.04793	186	126	39	21
511	My client believes you do not know who’s a good boy anymore.	1.4513	0.04664	195	124	54	17
512	Actually, prepuptual agreements are pretty common.	1.4511	0.05041	184	121	43	20
513	Free Britney" inspired my client to take control of her own life	1.4510	0.05482	153	100	37	16
514	He wants to keep the cat.	1.4510	0.04828	204	135	46	23
515	Listen, your resume looks great but your butt just didn't pass the sniff test.	1.4509	0.04947	173	110	48	15
516	He just wants to know if you’ve had all your shots.”	1.4506	0.05330	162	106	39	17
517	Baby talk, Elizabethan collars and Halloween costumes are non-starters.	1.4505	0.04576	202	131	52	19
518	He will agree to be housebroken if you agree to put an exhaust fan in your bathroom.	1.4505	0.04549	202	128	57	17
519	Sign here, Mr. Jamison. It's no longer in you best interest to make my client beg.	1.4503	0.04777	171	106	53	12
520	As agreed, Buddy gets full custody of the children.	1.4503	0.05124	191	129	38	24
521	You can keep the house, but my client gets the squeaky toys.	1.4500	0.04525	200	126	58	16
522	My client wishes to enforce the NO CAT CLAUSE in his custody contract.	1.4500	0.04742	200	135	42	23
523	Who’s a good boy?” My client doesn’t have to answer that.	1.4500	0.05078	160	101	46	13
524	And you agree to continue to work from home to be available for treats, tummy rubs and walks during the day	1.4497	0.05168	169	110	42	17
525	I'm sorry, but you've tested positive for cat hairs.	1.4491	0.05143	167	108	43	16
526	My client insists that you never threw the ball.	1.4490	0.04866	196	129	46	21
527	Sign here. There ya go. Good man. Good man.	1.4489	0.04952	176	113	47	16
528	This affidavit states you acknowledge that he is in fact "a good boy" and this document is a cease and desist order regarding repetition of said question.	1.4487	0.05326	156	101	40	15
529	Turn to Section 3, paragraph 4, my client would like to discuss the usage of the word, "fixed."	1.4481	0.05531	154	102	35	17
530	I’ve written down a number that will keep my client quiet	1.4481	0.05296	154	99	41	14
531	It’s just your standard pre-pup.	1.4479	0.04626	192	124	51	17
532	He claims he was a good boy,is a good boy,and will always be as good boy.	1.4479	0.04567	192	123	53	16
533	My client wants the house. He says you can keep the cat and the vacuum cleaner.	1.4472	0.04811	199	131	47	21
534	My client knows about the other dog. You're being sued for infidolity.	1.4472	0.04915	199	133	43	23
535	My client says you can keep the squeaky toys as long as he gets the house.	1.4472	0.04977	161	101	48	12
536	Now, moving on to the bone of contention...	1.4470	0.04274	217	136	65	16
537	He wants half your bed and the couch on weekends.	1.4462	0.04821	186	120	49	17
538	He's willing to settle out of court for a slice of Havarti	1.4462	0.04998	186	123	43	20
539	My client is prepared to settle for extra kibble and termination of the vacuum cleaner	1.4462	0.04604	195	124	55	16
540	It's the same agreement. We only added the doghouse in the Hamptons and the NDA.	1.4460	0.04602	213	142	48	23
541	You can keep the house,but the tennis balls are a non-negotiable.	1.4456	0.04808	193	126	48	19
542	He gets the couch	1.4452	0.05025	155	102	39	14
543	As I understand it, Rover here wants a pre-pup agreement.	1.4451	0.04944	173	111	47	15
544	My client says that you called him a “bad boy” and is suing for defamation	1.4451	0.05273	173	116	37	20
545	Aside from the property settlement, you need to stipulate that she is a "good dog".	1.4450	0.04739	200	131	49	20
546	He'll agree not to pee on the carpet if you agree that he won't be fixed.	1.4444	0.04522	189	118	58	13
547	We think you’ll find the treats clause quite generous.	1.4444	0.04266	189	114	66	9
548	And finally, he wants to be referred to as an acquaintance, not your best friend.	1.4444	0.05318	153	99	40	14
549	You will find that this settlement offer reflects the degree of emotional distress endured by my client. Next time just throw the ball."	1.4439	0.05035	187	125	41	21
550	Sign here. Your wife goes to the dog.	1.4439	0.04801	187	121	49	17
551	Thank you for waiting while we fetched these.	1.4438	0.04836	160	99	51	10
552	My client might not be such a good boy next time.	1.4437	0.04940	151	93	49	9
553	He will only consent to adoption if you guarantee his reproductive rights in writing.	1.4437	0.05201	151	96	43	12
554	Then it's settled. He gets your home and you get his.	1.4433	0.04789	194	132	40	22
555	The lounge set is yours, but my client will be retaining ownership of your socks.	1.4432	0.05205	176	118	38	20
556	We've gone over this. She gets the house. You get the cat.	1.4427	0.04992	192	131	38	23
557	Before you adopt him, he insists on a prepuptial.	1.4426	0.04875	183	124	39	20
558	maybe you shouldn't have called her a bitch...	1.4424	0.04745	217	147	44	26
559	All he really wants is the doghouse in the Hamptons.	1.4421	0.04918	190	126	44	20
560	He says that if you want the raise, you'll have to beg for it.	1.4420	0.05036	181	120	42	19
561	Since you've been working at home he's been on the computer more than you, so we're giving him your job.	1.4419	0.05229	172	115	38	19
562	His last condition would be to drink out of your toilet every other weekend.	1.4419	0.05229	172	115	38	19
563	We're here because he has a bone to pick with you	1.4417	0.05301	163	108	38	17
564	Bill, I think Duffy's offer to keep quiet about everything he's seen is quite reasonable and quite affordable.	1.4416	0.05292	154	105	32	17
565	And you get the cat.	1.4414	0.05696	145	97	32	16
566	My client has added a lot of 'commands' he feels are degrading and will not comply with.	1.4413	0.04344	179	108	63	8
567	You were right about your job being so easy your dog could do it.	1.4412	0.05468	170	117	31	22
568	He feels you haven't been much of a best friend.	1.4409	0.04308	186	113	64	9
569	He says you feed him dog food.	1.4402	0.04736	209	140	46	23
570	To finalize this adoption we'll need your signature on this agreement which states you'll refrain, in perpetuity, from referring to my client as a rescue.	1.4390	0.05204	164	108	40	16
571	He's holding out for additional belly rubs.	1.4389	0.04398	180	110	61	9
572	In this case I have a Fidociary responsibility to my client	1.4389	0.05055	180	120	41	19
573	My client has a bone to pick	1.4388	0.05604	139	91	35	13
574	Sorry, you're too old for the part. Rover wants someone like Timmy as his best friend.	1.4387	0.05185	155	100	42	13
575	He is offering you the leash,the dead mouse,and the chew toy. He gets the house.	1.4386	0.05117	171	113	41	17
576	If you fail to sign this final agreement, I 'm authorized to roll it up, hit you on the nose, and say, 'Bad human, bad human.'	1.4381	0.04571	210	138	52	20
577	On behalf of my client, who's a good boy now?	1.4379	0.04804	153	94	51	8
578	Rex demands that you no longer work from home.	1.4379	0.04951	169	109	46	14
579	My client objects to your use of the term "fixed".	1.4379	0.05091	169	111	42	16
580	He'll agree to 3 bones a week and equal share of the bed.	1.4375	0.04812	176	113	49	14
581	And to be clear, the maintenance term is in dog years.	1.4372	0.04871	183	120	46	17
582	It's agreed, no more neutering talk, no chewed slippers.	1.4371	0.05408	167	114	33	20
583	Not exactly... we prefer to call them "Go for a walk" papers.	1.4371	0.04658	151	91	54	6
584	My client would like to renegotiate the terms of his leash.	1.4368	0.04800	190	125	47	18
585	The "No barking" clause is a deal breaker.	1.4368	0.04985	174	114	44	16
586	This may come back to bite you.	1.4367	0.05034	158	101	45	12
587	We are redefining what it means to work like a dog.	1.4365	0.05225	126	77	43	6
588	when you see the amount he’s written I think you’ll agree he’s probably not your best friend “	1.4365	0.04783	181	117	49	15
589	I’m sorry, no. You are not the good boy.	1.4364	0.05250	165	110	38	17
590	He wants you to agree to continue working from home for at least another year.	1.4357	0.05288	140	89	41	10
591	I have decided to take the case pro bone.	1.4356	0.05224	163	108	39	16
592	Under the reciprocity clause of the adoption agreement, it’s your turn to be neutered.	1.4356	0.05575	163	113	29	21
593	And my client requests that he be remunerated for any attention, adoration, or affection you may receive from the use of his image or likeness on social media…treats being the preferred means of payment.	1.4355	0.04660	186	127	40	19
594	You get all the toys--but he wants the big house.	1.4354	0.05551	147	98	34	15
595	He's firm. Belly rubs and no baths are non-negotiable.	1.4352	0.04688	193	126	50	17
596	By signing this you agree to work from home until termination, or death depending upon which occurs first.	1.4351	0.05896	131	90	26	15
597	My client says that during “work-from-home” days that you took part in a mysterious third meal, of which he was not previously made aware…something called “lunch”.	1.4351	0.05522	154	104	33	17
598	His offer is in Bitcoin	1.4350	0.04857	177	115	47	15
599	It’s the standard prenup giving 50% of the assets and all of the tug toys.	1.4350	0.04345	200	131	53	16
600	He's still mad about the do it yourself neuter kit.	1.4348	0.04850	184	121	46	17
601	Sir, this will be anything but a walk in the park.	1.4346	0.04664	191	124	51	16
602	You, sir, have said your final "bad dog."	1.4346	0.04780	191	126	47	18
603	I misunderstood your desire to sue the bitch, Mr. Smith.	1.4345	0.04969	168	114	37	17
604	You're being fired because you're not a good boy.	1.4340	0.05089	159	103	43	13
605	See Spot. See Spot win arbitration.	1.4340	0.05166	159	104	41	14
606	Now that you're back in the office, let me remind you of our dress code and no pet policy	1.4340	0.05466	159	108	33	18
607	YOU drop it.	1.4338	0.05969	136	93	27	16
608	He wants to keep the squeaky toys.	1.4333	0.04863	180	118	46	16
609	He has asked me to hand you your walking papers.	1.4333	0.05043	150	95	45	10
610	… and said ball to be retrieved solely by thrower.	1.4333	0.05302	150	98	39	13
611	You had HIM fixed; fair is fair.	1.4331	0.05213	157	103	40	14
612	Either way,he gets the bone.	1.4330	0.04612	194	126	52	16
613	And you get custody of the cat.	1.4327	0.04542	171	109	52	10
614	He's mostly asking you to stop calling him, "Buddy.	1.4324	0.05266	148	96	40	12
615	"It says that you agree to be neutered as well for the sake of this relationship."	1.4323	0.04703	192	126	49	17
616	I promise this pre-pup in no way diminishes Sparky’s love for you	1.4322	0.04801	199	134	44	21
617	Mr. Fido's request is quite reasonable. When you throw the ball it must actually leave your hand.	1.4320	0.05604	125	80	36	9
618	It’s a simple separation agreement. He recognizes that you’re just not a dog person.	1.4315	0.05226	146	94	41	11
619	I'm afraid that your wife's will has left everything to your dog.	1.4314	0.04886	153	96	48	9
620	This is his ruff draft.	1.4314	0.04505	204	133	54	17
621	It's a pretty standard rollover.	1.4314	0.05059	153	98	44	11
622	My client is demanding real grass to pee on and a better name than "Stash"	1.4312	0.05217	160	106	39	15
623	My client is willing to throw you a bone, so to speak	1.4312	0.05292	160	107	37	16
624	My client asked me to convey that he knew it was over when you subscribed to the digital edition, despite knowing full-well how much he enjoyed fetching the newspaper in the morning.	1.4311	0.05404	167	115	32	20
625	It's just a bunch of beagle-ese.	1.4311	0.05059	167	110	42	15
626	You can have the vacuum and the cat. He gets everything else including your shoes and all the bacon. There will also be mandatory belly rubs on Fridays.	1.4305	0.05520	151	102	33	16
627	She says she can't sign this. It doesn't pass the sniff test.	1.4296	0.05811	135	91	30	14
628	He wants to start seeing other people.	1.4296	0.05689	142	96	31	15
629	He doesn’t want to do the rollover.	1.4294	0.04997	163	106	44	13
630	Full visitation rights, a lifetime supply of kibble, and a five-year waiver on the no humping rule.	1.4294	0.05063	170	113	41	16
631	You signed this pre-pup, Greg. She's not asking for the kids. Just your trash, every week, for a lifetime.	1.4293	0.04417	191	124	55	12
632	I can assure you,it is a standard Pre-Pup agreement	1.4293	0.04777	191	127	46	18
633	My client is not going to roll over for these petty contract demands!	1.4286	0.04603	189	125	48	16
634	Leave it ... leave it ... leave it ... Take it!	1.4286	0.05106	168	112	40	16
635	This is his final offer; all walks longer than ten minutes, scratchies whenever he wants and no bargain brand food ever	1.4278	0.04922	180	120	43	17
636	Two walks a day. Final offer.	1.4278	0.05228	180	125	33	22
637	My client and I have agreed that I will work pro-bone-o.	1.4277	0.05006	166	109	43	14
638	My client agrees to up to three “”Sits” and “Roll Overs” a day; to be followed by treats; but categorically rejects the “beg” and “play dead” proposals.	1.4277	0.05220	166	112	37	17
639	His estate goes to his family, but he's leaving you a bone.	1.4276	0.05247	145	94	40	11
640	The bowl, the collar, the chew toy...he's leaving you all of it.	1.4271	0.04699	192	127	48	17
641	And this one states that you know EXACTLY who’s a good boy.	1.4269	0.05175	171	116	37	18
642	It's a binding seven-year contract. Well, only one year for Fido, of course.	1.4268	0.05194	164	110	38	16
643	He claims you've been treating him like a dog.	1.4266	0.05657	143	97	31	15
644	If it's any consolation - you were our second choice.	1.4265	0.05681	136	91	32	13
645	He wants 2 walks a day a day and more dog bones...	1.4259	0.04618	162	104	49	9
646	You get the cats.	1.4254	0.04264	181	114	58	9
647	My client says be a good boy and sign this.	1.4250	0.05059	160	105	42	13
648	Your turn to get neutered.	1.4248	0.05768	153	108	25	20
649	You should have read the terms of the pre-pup agreement.	1.4247	0.04620	186	121	51	14
650	Solid resume sir, but we threw him a bone and he jumped at the offer.	1.4245	0.05304	139	92	36	11
651	As a part of the settlement, he wants the dog house and his testicles back.	1.4244	0.05345	172	120	31	21
652	Sign here and you'll no longer be man and man's best friend.	1.4244	0.05017	172	115	41	16
653	I’m afraid “fetching” is off the table.	1.4242	0.05171	132	83	42	7
654	I'm sure you both want what's best for the pupies.	1.4242	0.04798	165	106	48	11
655	My client specifically remembers you saying, 'tutored'.	1.4242	0.05024	165	109	42	14
656	You can have everything, he just wants the doghouse.	1.4241	0.04535	191	127	49	15
657	He shouldn’t have to beg for you to sign this.	1.4238	0.05011	151	97	44	10
658	My client will accept a signature in lieu of a paw print.	1.4233	0.05214	163	110	37	16
659	He gets Marsha; you get the cat.	1.4229	0.04545	201	133	51	17
660	Since you were always in it with your ex, he’s giving you the doghouse.	1.4229	0.05019	175	118	40	17
661	Here are your walking papers.	1.4226	0.05170	168	114	37	17
662	Your parents left him the estate, but he says you're always welcome to visit if you give him advance notice.	1.4225	0.05594	142	96	32	14
663	He uses Dogusign.	1.4224	0.05891	116	76	31	9
664	Well Dan, as of today, its no longer your business who's a good boy.	1.4222	0.05804	135	92	29	14
665	At your previous job, would you say you were a good boy?	1.4221	0.04898	199	138	38	23
666	Sign and he'll bury his bone of contention and bark up another tree.	1.4217	0.05000	166	110	42	14
667	Rex gets the house and a monthly allowance of $2,000. You get the custody of the cat who started all this...	1.4214	0.05830	140	97	27	16
668	…and you agree to further acknowledge that in fact he is a “good boy”.	1.4214	0.05232	159	107	37	15
669	Well, for one thing, he's had all his vaccinations.	1.4213	0.05020	178	121	39	18
670	You get to keep your wife, but my client Wolfie will have sole custody of the children.	1.4211	0.05769	133	90	30	13
671	My client reminds you it is a dog eat dog world.	1.4207	0.04959	145	92	45	8
672	It's a restraining order"	1.4204	0.05356	157	107	34	16
673	For a settlement agreement we'll need a list of all your assets, buried or unburied.	1.4203	0.05326	138	90	38	10
674	I’m sorry, but he’s playing hard squeaky ball on this one.	1.4201	0.05077	169	114	39	16
675	We would like to know what the phrase “good boy” means to you.	1.4195	0.04903	174	116	43	15
676	He's suing you for telling your wife, 'It was the Dog."	1.4191	0.05479	136	90	35	11
677	3 bones per day is actually quite reasonable for a pre-puptual agreement.	1.4190	0.04934	179	121	41	17
678	He suggests you two split the bed. He gets the foot.	1.4189	0.05075	148	96	42	10
679	Before you sign, let’s just be clear on our definition of ‘liquidated damages’.	1.4187	0.05206	160	108	37	15
680	Please sign here that HR had this discussion with you and that you will no longer refer to Mr. Dog as “boy” in any professional setting henceforth.	1.4186	0.05011	172	116	40	16
681	Did you have any intent on throwing the ball when you maliciously deceived my client?	1.4182	0.04907	165	116	32	17
682	Before we hire you, Max would like you to write a short essay about possible solutions to the rising cat population in the city.	1.4179	0.04910	201	141	36	24
683	OK. To sweeten the deal, we want to throw you a bone.	1.4178	0.05121	146	95	41	10
684	It's your standard prepup agreement.	1.4177	0.05017	158	104	42	12
685	In order to compensate you for the unfortunate 'leg incident,' Mr. Barks will require you to sign this non-disclosure agreement.	1.4176	0.05053	170	115	39	16
686	It's "Give a dog a bone," not "Give a dog a boner." You'll be paying for that mistake for decades.	1.4173	0.05583	139	94	32	13
687	It’s a non-negotiable, the cat has to go.	1.4172	0.05508	151	104	31	16
688	She knew it was over when you came home smelling like catnip.	1.4172	0.04590	163	103	52	8
689	He says it is time for you to roll over.	1.4167	0.04748	192	130	44	18
690	And here’s a list of commands I’ll be using with you.	1.4167	0.05377	156	107	33	16
691	Yes, well that's the thing about the Internet. Regardless, you should have known my client was a dog.	1.4162	0.05186	173	120	34	19
692	Canned food daily, the dog park at least 3 days a week and you can't make that cringe face when you pick up his poop. It's all right here in the contract.	1.4161	0.05348	137	90	37	10
693	She thinks if you throw the ball away,you should be the one to fetch it.	1.4161	0.05348	137	90	37	10
694	In exchange for unconditional love, my client demands access to the nice sofa.	1.4152	0.04960	171	115	41	15
695	She wants you to sign a pre-pup.	1.4151	0.04830	159	103	46	10
696	My client is not rolling over.	1.4151	0.04830	159	103	46	10
697	As his role has expanded from Man's Best Friend to Emotional Support dog, Lucky would like to discuss his cookie distribution.	1.4150	0.05274	147	98	37	12
698	As agreed, steak every day, sleeps on the big bed, more dog toys, goes with you on all vacations - and get a new girlfriend.	1.4146	0.05764	123	82	31	10
699	He doesn't want to be your best friend anymore.	1.4145	0.05151	152	101	39	12
700	Unfortunately, the 401K-9 is non-negotiable.	1.4140	0.04656	157	102	46	9
701	He agrees to give up the ball if you acknowledge he's a good boy.	1.4140	0.04734	186	125	45	16
702	Just sign here. There's a good boy.	1.4138	0.05672	145	101	28	16
703	No, actually pre-pup agreements like this have become quite common.	1.4138	0.04760	174	115	46	13
704	All of our applicants are thoroughly vetted.	1.4136	0.04965	162	110	38	14
705	Stop snoring and he'll stop barking.	1.4135	0.05559	133	89	33	11
706	He claims he did not eat your homework.	1.4135	0.05350	133	87	37	9
707	It turns out his bark isn’t worse than his bite.”	1.4132	0.04971	167	112	41	14
708	I'm working pro bone-o."	1.4132	0.05184	167	115	35	17
709	Fluffy sites irreconcilable differences due to your refusal to part with the vacuum and the cat.	1.4130	0.05608	138	94	31	13
710	He said you gave his children away and didn’t properly compensate him.	1.4130	0.05187	184	131	30	23
711	he gets the backyard, you can keep the house	1.4129	0.05079	155	103	40	12
712	Any property damaged by chewing was instinctual and without malice so will not be reimbursed	1.4127	0.05494	126	85	31	10
713	And lastly, you will refrain from the b-word.	1.4125	0.04511	160	108	41	11
714	My advice is to roll over	1.4125	0.04807	160	104	46	10
715	It's his emancipation papers. In dog years he is 21.	1.4124	0.04837	177	119	43	15
716	It’s your choice. Our severance package or the dog.	1.4121	0.05157	165	113	36	16
717	You're being sued for repeatedly faking the ball throw.	1.4121	0.04862	165	109	44	12
718	All he wants is custody of the kids and the tennis ball.	1.4115	0.04507	192	127	51	14
719	And further more , you throw it you fetch it.	1.4114	0.05168	158	107	37	14
720	He just wants to be best friends with another man.	1.4109	0.05678	129	87	31	11
721	Rover just wants to cut the leash and move on.	1.4109	0.05460	129	85	35	9
722	I’m sorry but we’re giving the promotion to someone who displays a little more loyalty.	1.4109	0.05887	129	89	27	13
723	As part of your severance package, we are offering you an emotional support dog	1.4106	0.05255	151	102	36	13
724	You'll find the paperwork is in order. My client is leaving you, though he's willing to amicably split custody of your wife.	1.4106	0.05255	151	102	36	13
725	Sorry sir, but your dog will have custody of the children.	1.4101	0.05287	139	92	37	10
726	Who rescued whom, indeed?	1.4101	0.05668	139	96	29	14
727	Then it's agreed - my client gets the house, you get the crate.	1.4097	0.05113	144	97	36	11
728	... And you agree to rethink the name "Fluffy."	1.4094	0.05739	127	86	30	11
729	Can you handle reporting to a female?	1.4094	0.05629	127	85	32	10
730	The cat won't be necessary any longer.	1.4094	0.05217	149	100	37	12
731	Answer one question: Who's a good boy?"	1.4094	0.05217	149	100	37	12
732	My client does not wish to speak at this time.	1.4094	0.05224	171	120	32	19
733	Unfortunately, your mother left her entire estate to her cherished companion sitting on my left.	1.4091	0.05886	132	92	26	14
734	... two hundred pounds of kibble annually, and the dog house in the Hamptons.	1.4091	0.05372	132	87	36	9
735	He doesn’t want to be your best friend.	1.4091	0.05818	110	72	31	7
736	Include the doghouse in the Hamptons or we walk away.	1.4091	0.05098	154	103	39	12
737	My client agrees to share custody of the backyard and reserves visitation rights every other weekend to drink from the toilet.	1.4091	0.05372	132	87	36	9
738	No dry food and quit saying "heel" and we have a deal.	1.4088	0.04985	159	106	41	12
739	I’m sorry but she wants sole custody of the squeaky toy.	1.4083	0.05065	169	116	37	16
740	This complaint states that for the past two years my client has been unduly burdened by being forced to retrieve tennis balls which you were attempting to throw away in a public park."	1.4082	0.05086	147	97	40	10
741	Organic treats. Private kennel. And a daily brushing. That’s our final offer.	1.4082	0.05440	147	101	32	14
742	And finally, this states you agree my client is not broken and so does not need to be "fixed."	1.4080	0.05576	125	83	33	9
743	He would like to present a flea bargain for your review	1.4079	0.05143	152	107	30	15
744	Being a pandemic puppy, he had every right to expect you'd never leave the house.	1.4076	0.04946	157	104	42	11
745	My client would like all the dog food, his frisbee, and half the socks and tennis balls in this separation	1.4076	0.05028	157	105	40	12
746	He asks that you just be a good boy and sign it, Craig.	1.4076	0.04702	184	124	45	15
747	My client claims that on the 25th of last month you forced him to wear a Christmas sweater and booties.	1.4071	0.05450	140	95	33	12
748	Is this the unfinished homework you are accusing my client of eating"	1.4071	0.05635	140	97	29	14
749	We are keeping your dog on board; he's good for company morale. But we have to let you go because you are not.	1.4068	0.05396	177	129	24	24
750	Here's our best offer: you stop delivering the mail and he agrees to stop biting you.	1.4062	0.05810	128	88	28	12
751	The main thing we're looking for here is loyalty.	1.4060	0.05341	133	88	36	9
752	Congratulations! The search to fill the position of Quality Control Inspector in our pet food division has narrowed to two candidates.	1.4060	0.05550	133	90	32	11
753	How much is that doggie in the window, you ask? I'm going to show you a number.	1.4056	0.05180	143	95	38	10
754	Sorry, but the Frisbee is non-negotiable.	1.4056	0.04641	180	120	47	13
755	Online, no one knows he’s a dog.	1.4050	0.05699	121	81	31	9
756	My client is a very good boy and is hereby demanding the following.	1.4049	0.04616	163	113	37	13
757	The fire hydrant is non-negotiable.	1.4049	0.05048	163	111	38	14
758	These are his non-negotiables should you wish to adopt him.	1.4048	0.05875	126	87	27	12
759	With this document, you agree that he's a good boy'.	1.4048	0.05766	126	86	29	11
760	Unconditional love at affordable prices.	1.4041	0.05286	146	99	35	12
761	Our offer - He gets use of the dog house, the kids every other weekend and unlimited freedom to chase all the squirrels in your backyard	1.4041	0.05286	146	99	35	12
762	Before we proceed, you must stipulate that Fluffy is, ipso facto, “a good boy”.	1.4040	0.05162	151	102	37	12
763	By signing, you agree to remove all fences, physical and invisible.	1.4040	0.05076	151	101	39	11
764	My client requests more stick throwing during the week.	1.4038	0.04963	156	104	41	11
765	I'm happy to tell you, you've passed the sniff test.	1.4038	0.04963	156	104	41	11
766	My client directs me to serve your walking papers.	1.4035	0.04434	171	115	45	11
767	We agree to pay the amount specified for the leg humping incident but I'll need you to sign a non-disclosure agreement,	1.4034	0.04779	176	119	43	14
768	The tennis balls are all yours, but my client is adamant about the squeaky toy	1.4034	0.04913	176	121	39	16
769	My client is also asking for the return of his testicles.	1.4034	0.06123	119	83	24	12
770	My client would like you to put in writing that he is a good dog.	1.4033	0.04816	181	124	41	16
771	It’s our standard pre-pup.	1.4032	0.05482	124	82	34	8
772	It's like we don't speak the same language sometimes.	1.4031	0.05560	129	87	32	10
773	Sparky is telling me your vaccinations are not up to date.	1.4031	0.05980	129	91	24	14
774	Trust me. When you read the list of demands you’ll stop referring to my client as ‘good boy’.	1.4030	0.05309	134	89	36	9
775	It's to verify that you're a good boy.	1.4029	0.05376	139	94	34	11
776	He’s willing to negotiate child custody, but from now on you have to chase the mailman.	1.4027	0.05464	149	104	30	15
777	And in this one,my client stipulates that you must take the cat.	1.4026	0.05413	154	108	30	16
778	It's a standard 'Prepup' --stipulating for three walks daily and couch access	1.4025	0.04937	159	109	37	13
779	Walk my client or my client is walking."	1.4024	0.04871	164	110	42	12
780	Final offer: You agree to get fixed as punishment for getting this good boy fixed or we take this to trial.	1.4023	0.05150	174	123	32	19
781	Final offer; he's late for doggie daycare.	1.4023	0.04268	174	120	42	12
782	Yes,when the dog dies,you are the primary beneficiary. It’s all explained here.	1.4019	0.05918	107	71	29	7
783	You must have heard your mother say he's a member of the family a thousand times. I'd take this offer.	1.4016	0.06122	122	86	23	13
784	He wants custody of your wife.	1.4015	0.05974	132	94	23	15
785	Remember: while you were out earning a high wage for ten years, he was at home being a good dog.	1.4015	0.05124	137	90	39	8
786	The contract, like Max, is fixed.	1.4014	0.05199	142	95	37	10
787	I advise you not to pick a bone with my client.	1.4012	0.04912	162	109	41	12
788	He wants to live with your wife.	1.4012	0.05501	162	117	25	20
789	You have two weeks to train your replacement.	1.4012	0.05215	162	113	33	16
790	She's willing to settle for treats.	1.4000	0.04675	170	113	46	11
791	Don't get too upset. The salary is calculated in dog years.	1.4000	0.04915	150	99	42	9
792	I'm sorry but Jack says you just don't pass the smell test.	1.4000	0.05345	140	95	34	11
793	Try an offer worthy of your best friend.	1.4000	0.04998	165	113	38	14
794	It's just like a prenup, but covers puppy support and the doghouse.	1.4000	0.04835	130	82	44	4
795	He handles our rollovers.	1.4000	0.05525	130	88	32	10
796	She doesn’t insist on a full pre-nup but she does need a firm commitment you won’t return her to the kennel after Covid.	1.3990	0.04650	203	142	41	20
797	If you’ll just sign here, the pooch will have your wife on alternate weekends.	1.3987	0.05153	158	109	35	14
798	In this offer, he retains full custody of the good blanket but we feel this number of dogs treats is quite generous.	1.3987	0.05153	158	109	35	14
799	Are you ready to be a good boy?	1.3986	0.05357	143	98	33	12
800	He may be your best friend now,but a prenuptial agreement is still a good idea	1.3986	0.05357	143	98	33	12
801	The neutering clause is unacceptable unless it is mutual.	1.3985	0.05840	133	94	25	14
802	He says you’re no longer his best friend either.	1.3985	0.05436	133	90	33	10
803	Now beg.	1.3984	0.05243	128	84	37	7
804	And he gets to pick your name	1.3975	0.05380	161	115	28	18
805	I think we can do this amicably...Fido just wants the doghouse, that big ham bone in the fridge and the upstairs toilet. Okay?	1.3974	0.05239	151	104	34	13
806	Your application doesn't pass the smell test.	1.3972	0.05409	141	97	32	12
807	My client will agree to the bark collar as long as you wear a speech collar so he can zap you every time you say something stupid.	1.3971	0.05451	136	93	32	11
808	Sorry - doesn't pass the sniff test.	1.3969	0.05384	131	88	34	9
809	It's not a big ask... just throw him a bone.	1.3968	0.05530	126	85	32	9
810	My client cannot be your emotional support animal until he's financially supported.	1.3961	0.05081	154	105	37	12
811	If you want a divorce, he insists on going with your wife,	1.3961	0.05081	154	105	37	12
812	Come on, Sign. Sign, sign, siiiggn…come on be a good boy.	1.3960	0.04932	149	99	41	9
813	We've whittled the candidates to the two of you. As the final step, we need to see you both eat this homework.	1.3960	0.05456	149	105	29	15
814	We take our adoptions very seriously.	1.3958	0.05506	144	101	29	14
815	As your dog's legal representative, I must inform you that "Good Boy" is no longer sufficient. Henceforth, he shall be referred to as "Spike, the Best Dog in the Whole Wide World".	1.3958	0.05046	144	96	39	9
816	Whereas, my client agrees he was at one time man's best friend, it's now clear the relationship has taken a turn and it's best for all parties to accept the current reality. Or, said another way, 'Go fetch yourself.'	1.3958	0.05680	144	103	25	16
817	So, are you going to be OK reporting to a dog?	1.3952	0.05022	167	116	36	15
818	My client wants you to be constantly available.	1.3952	0.05093	167	117	34	16
819	Now we'll see who wants to be a good boy	1.3951	0.05058	162	112	36	14
820	Due to years of pretending to throw something during fetch and asking Toby where it went in a cute voice, my client would like full custody of his squeaker toy.	1.3950	0.06111	119	84	23	12
821	He's willing to forego his half of the Hampton's house in exchange for the rest of the wet food.	1.3949	0.04930	157	106	40	11
822	Once you sign, Rover will be officially awarded custody of your ex-wife.	1.3947	0.05294	152	106	32	14
823	He’s good with you getting the bed, but the couch and the corner chair are his!	1.3946	0.04880	147	97	42	8
824	Kiki wants all the dog houses,including Cape Cod.	1.3944	0.04694	180	123	43	14
825	My client Mr. Snurffles emphasizes that the belly rub clause is non-negotiable.	1.3944	0.04943	142	96	37	9
826	This contract gives her 70% of the profits from social media, merchandise, memes and personal appearances as a pet influencer.	1.3944	0.05092	142	95	38	9
827	A lifetime of devotion for food and walks -- I'd take it.	1.3944	0.05285	142	97	34	11
828	He'll take the doghouse, along with with dog biscuits for life.	1.3939	0.05666	132	92	28	12
829	Be thankful. You're getting a significantly better deal than the cat.	1.3938	0.04783	160	107	43	10
830	We don’t give bonuses but we do give lots of treats.	1.3933	0.05085	150	102	37	11
831	Ruffles has already marked all the territory she wants to keep in the divorce.	1.3932	0.05816	117	80	28	9
832	You will now be contractually obligated to be best friends.	1.3931	0.04922	145	96	41	8
833	If you sign Ruxton here on as 'Carne Dog Food' taster, one of you doesn't have to wear a tie ever again.	1.3929	0.06387	112	80	20	12
834	He claims you humped his leg first.	1.3929	0.05335	140	96	33	11
835	As part of mediation, Mr. Whiskers proposes that if you choose his sweaters, he gets to choose yours	1.3926	0.05267	135	91	35	9
836	... and you stipulate that Bonkers is, in fact, a very good boy.	1.3923	0.05514	130	89	31	10
837	All standard stuff: Walks per day, supply of slippers to chew.	1.3919	0.05131	148	101	36	11
838	My client is asking the studio for twenty million upfront cash, twenty percent of the first-dollar gross, and of course no vacuum cleaners on set.	1.3913	0.06012	115	80	25	10
839	We also offer a 401 K9 plan...	1.3909	0.06071	110	76	25	9
840	My client thinks the time for talk about better kibble has passed.	1.3906	0.05111	128	84	38	6
841	I believe we can make this work, but my client would also like you to throw in the couch.	1.3906	0.05572	128	88	30	10
842	So, no contact during the separation phase...of course, you'll still need to pick up poop.	1.3905	0.04830	169	121	32	16
843	He claims you kept him on a pretty tight leash.	1.3902	0.05244	123	81	36	6
844	This is our best offer. Give it a sniff.	1.3902	0.04184	123	81	39	3
845	My client is suing on the grounds of emotional abuse and verbal harassment. Does the nickname “Mr. Poopy Butt” ring any bells?	1.3901	0.05257	141	99	30	12
846	We are willing to concede all demands for one thing: the cat has to go.	1.3897	0.05441	136	94	31	11
847	Sorry to start late. He had to circle his chair three times.	1.3895	0.04697	172	117	43	12
848	The 'no cats' clause is non-negotiable.	1.3893	0.05372	131	89	33	9
849	To conclude the interview, my colleague Rex here will sniff your butt.	1.3893	0.05372	131	89	33	9
850	Take it or leave it. My client's days of begging are over.	1.3893	0.05372	131	89	33	9
851	And then we come to the issue of snacks…	1.3893	0.05013	149	101	38	10
852	My client is generously offering you the leash, crate, and nail clippers. He asks only for the liver treats, squeaky ball, and ongoing use of the dog walker.	1.3889	0.05517	126	86	31	9
853	We just don't think you're a dog person.	1.3889	0.05709	108	72	30	6
854	This memorializes your agreement to relinquish all claims to alpha-dog status in exchange for a 30% reduction in unprovoked barking.	1.3889	0.05036	144	97	38	9
855	He said you have separation anxiety.	1.3885	0.05356	139	96	32	11
856	If you don't agree to her terms she's prepared to walk.	1.3884	0.06140	121	87	21	13
857	If you would, scratch and sniff here.	1.3882	0.04949	170	119	36	15
858	Under these terms of the divorce, he'll keep the sofa but you can have the cat.	1.3882	0.04764	152	106	35	11
859	Unfortunately,not being allowed on the couch IS grounds for divorce.	1.3882	0.04944	152	103	39	10
860	We'll hire you if you pass the sniff test.	1.3881	0.05495	134	93	30	11
861	She likes you a lot but she still wants you to sign a pre-puptual agreement.	1.3881	0.05287	134	91	34	9
862	And by signing here you acknowledge that Meatball does get your wife in the divorce.	1.3878	0.05239	147	102	33	12
863	He's claiming negligence as regards your abrupt return to the office.	1.3876	0.05537	129	89	30	10
864	He gets the cat every other weekend.	1.3876	0.05537	129	89	30	10
865	Mr. Fluffers wants to retain custody of his bowl, his house, and your favorite slippers. He says you can keep the tub if things remain civil.	1.3875	0.05093	160	112	34	14
866	My client proposes increasing fetch to three times each week and adding recliner privileges.	1.3874	0.05456	111	73	33	5
867	You're our first Emotional Support Human...Sign here!	1.3874	0.05748	111	75	29	7
868	Remember, she is no longer your best friend	1.3873	0.04777	142	93	43	6
869	It's either her or the cat. Your choice. Final offer.	1.3871	0.05692	124	86	28	10
870	As per the prenup, anything he peed on in the course of the relationship is his.	1.3871	0.04877	155	105	40	10
871	He gets to neuter you in the settlement	1.3869	0.05408	137	95	31	11
872	A hand print will do...	1.3869	0.05603	137	97	27	13
873	He's willing to take on your case pro bono.	1.3868	0.06226	106	74	23	9
874	He wants you to know it's him- not you	1.3867	0.05333	150	106	30	14
875	Max would like you to stop stealing his poop, and splitting his treats in half.	1.3866	0.05612	119	81	30	8
876	What will it be? Couples counseling or obedience school?	1.3862	0.05196	145	100	34	11
877	She wants the woof over your head too.	1.3860	0.06293	114	82	20	12
878	While I think you have great qualifications Rex has some further questions.	1.3857	0.05227	140	96	34	10
879	And for compensation, he'd like you to have your testicles removed.	1.3857	0.05514	140	99	28	13
880	Surely you agree that we need more diversity on the board.	1.3857	0.05420	140	98	30	12
881	This one addresses my client's slander lawsuit related to your long history of "dog ate it" allegations.	1.3857	0.05027	140	94	38	8
882	I’m glad your dog brought you comfort in quarantine and I enjoyed meeting him. However, you did not need to bring him to your interview.	1.3852	0.05755	122	85	27	10
883	You must agree that bitches be crazy.	1.3852	0.05758	135	97	24	14
884	My client requires written confirmation of who, in fact, is a good boy.	1.3851	0.04750	161	109	42	10
885	Fluffy wants a divorce unless you stop breaking the treats into smaller pieces.	1.3846	0.05928	117	82	25	10
886	Here are the terms of the divorce. The Vacuum cleaner goes, access to the toilet bowl remains. Walkies on demand. You are allowed to stay in the house, all dog food henceforward is canned.	1.3846	0.05429	143	101	29	13
887	He finds "Whose a good boy?" demeaning and power driven.	1.3846	0.05244	143	99	33	11
888	He also wants the beach house and joint custody of the small humans.	1.3841	0.05304	151	107	30	14
889	Unconditional loyalty only goes so far. Bringing home even a stray cat cannot be tolerated.	1.3841	0.05847	138	101	21	16
890	Buddy would like to keep your slippers.	1.3841	0.05376	138	96	31	11
891	Yes,but for her it was 28 years,which entitles her to more of the common property.	1.3841	0.05277	138	95	33	10
892	If you’ll refer to pawnote 2 on page 43…”	1.3838	0.06042	99	67	26	6
893	He will give up the house and car, but the tennis balls and pee carpet are non-negotiable.	1.3838	0.06533	99	70	20	9
894	This will end the pet and pet owner best friend relationship.	1.3832	0.05734	107	72	29	6
895	This will only take a minute. My client can’t stay long.	1.3832	0.06034	107	74	25	8
896	…and in exchange, you agree not to attempt to teach him any more new tricks.	1.3831	0.04805	154	104	41	9
897	My client insists you still haven't clarified your position on cats.	1.3824	0.05119	136	92	36	8
898	This is a codicil to the fifth paragraph concerning Rule 3 negating the need to come when called.”	1.3822	0.04993	157	109	36	12
899	Of course both of you want what’s best for the children.	1.3821	0.05599	123	85	29	9
900	We prize loyalty above all else.	1.3819	0.05025	144	98	37	9
901	He's very adept at sniffing out the best candidates.	1.3817	0.05574	131	92	28	11
902	You screwed the pooch. Now, the pooch is screwing you.	1.3816	0.04845	152	103	40	9
903	She's in charge, I'm just her secretary.	1.3813	0.05043	139	94	37	8
904	Question #1 for your interview: the leash breaks and you see a cat, a squirrel and a mailman. Which do you chase and why?	1.3813	0.05721	139	101	23	15
905	I'll advise you once more to get an actual lawyer.	1.3810	0.05387	126	86	32	8
906	She wants to know if you are too old to learn new tricks	1.3810	0.05317	147	104	30	13
907	My client wishes to inform you that he is no longer your best friend.	1.3810	0.05958	105	72	26	7
908	You can keep the dog house as you're already in it.	1.3810	0.05504	126	87	30	9
909	All we need now is your signature on the Pre-pup.	1.3807	0.04750	176	125	36	15
910	Doggie Divorce: All he wants is the front and backyards, the dog house, his bone and a few squeaky toys.	1.3806	0.05167	134	91	35	8
911	If it makes you feel any better, you were our second choice.	1.3806	0.05585	134	95	27	12
912	500 words. What it means to be a best friend. Go.	1.3806	0.05380	134	93	31	10
913	As your attorney, I strong advise a flea bargain.	1.3805	0.05939	113	79	25	9
914	Four walks a day and he gets to sniff your crotch when no one else is home, final offer.	1.3803	0.05357	142	100	30	12
915	Just throw him a bone.	1.3802	0.05898	121	86	24	11
916	She wants you out of the house by Friday. And she wants to know where you keep the treats.	1.3800	0.06159	100	69	24	7
917	It’s a ‘pup-nup’.	1.3798	0.05633	129	91	27	11
918	Your best friend wants to be included in your will.	1.3798	0.05300	129	88	33	8
919	My client has retained me to rub your nose in this.	1.3796	0.05592	137	98	26	13
920	Could you at least throw us a bone?	1.3796	0.04874	137	91	40	6
921	My client would like you to have custody of the vacuum.	1.3796	0.05495	137	97	28	12
922	A generous offer, but my client is firm regarding his “good boy” status.	1.3796	0.05495	137	97	28	12
923	Sorry, we are looking for someone with more dog walking experience	1.3793	0.04900	145	98	39	8
924	She just wants the shoes	1.3790	0.05443	124	85	31	8
925	Sign here and then we can shake on it.	1.3788	0.05217	132	90	34	8
926	He’s working pro bone-o	1.3788	0.05434	132	92	30	10
927	He says you're not a good boy.	1.3786	0.05313	140	98	31	11
928	Here's this weeks Pro Bono case.	1.3784	0.05110	148	103	34	11
929	After discussing with my client, he seems willing to drop the suit if you agree to address him as a good boy.	1.3782	0.04927	156	108	37	11
930	A think we can all agree that snapping him to a zipline doesn't count as a walk.	1.3782	0.05336	119	80	33	6
931	Just sign here, sir, and you will be officially adopted.	1.3782	0.05336	119	80	33	6
932	This is a cease and desist order to stop throwing away his stick	1.3780	0.05115	127	85	36	6
933	Our new CEO seems to like your scent. You’re hired.” -Alison K. Burns; Salisbury, Massachusett	1.3778	0.05243	135	93	33	9
934	Mandatory: Five walks a day, shared bed at night, and steak for breakfast. The squeaky toy is optional.	1.3774	0.04861	159	110	38	11
935	Our opening offer is four walks and three treats per day with no baths for six months.	1.3772	0.06279	114	83	19	12
936	Who's the bitch now?	1.3772	0.05896	114	80	25	9
937	Rover from HR is here for emotional support.	1.3770	0.05500	122	84	30	8
938	Yes. Pet adoptions have become much more complicated. Did you bring your tax returns for the past 4 years?	1.3770	0.05375	122	83	32	7
939	My client has agreed to chase any and all thrown tennis balls but is no longer contractually obligated to bring them back.	1.3769	0.05267	130	89	33	8
940	This is your cease and desist notice to immediately stop using the vacuum.	1.3769	0.05380	130	90	31	9
941	It's in the best interest of the puppy.	1.3768	0.04954	138	93	38	7
942	We figured he was more personable than someone from HR.	1.3768	0.05558	138	99	26	13
943	Your 'best friend' defense does not negate my client's right to a living wage!	1.3768	0.05265	138	96	32	10
944	We all work like dogs here.	1.3768	0.04565	138	97	33	8
945	Once you sign, you can find a new best friend.	1.3766	0.05299	154	111	28	15
946	We’d like to know if you can learn new tricks.	1.3762	0.05946	101	69	26	6
947	It’s a dog eat man world.	1.3761	0.05498	109	73	31	5
948	Did’t you say Mr. Paddywack, Give the dog a loan?	1.3760	0.05408	125	86	31	8
949	Pay attention to the first three paragraphs. The rest is just doggerel.	1.3759	0.04961	133	89	38	6
950	Just as we promised, you are not being replaced by a machine.	1.3759	0.05185	133	91	34	8
951	You can have the house and everything else, he just wants that cat.	1.3759	0.05377	141	100	29	12
952	It’s your standard pre-puptial agreement.	1.3758	0.05082	149	104	34	11
953	He is willing to move forward with the adoption, this his list of demands starting with, and this is a deal killer, no neutering.	1.3758	0.05224	157	113	29	15
954	Where do you see yourself in 35 dog-years?	1.3750	0.05320	128	88	32	8
955	In return, my client gets full custody of the bed.	1.3750	0.05320	128	88	32	8
956	You can sleep in the bed on Wednesdays.	1.3750	0.05517	136	97	27	12
957	He helps us determine who's a good boy.	1.3750	0.05925	120	86	23	11
958	I advise you to toss him a bone.	1.3741	0.05217	147	104	31	12
959	If your caption is better than his we’ll enter it in this week’s contest.	1.3741	0.05184	139	99	29	11
960	Throw me a bone here.	1.3741	0.05031	139	95	36	8
961	He says if you don’t sign, things for you will be ruff.	1.3740	0.05561	131	93	27	11
962	Your separation anxiety has become a problem, and my client needs to let you go. He will agree to let you walk him every other weekend.	1.3739	0.05235	115	79	30	6
963	Just so I understand, if your dog pre-deceases you, you want your wife to be your beneficiary?	1.3734	0.05642	158	120	17	21
964	Longer walks, and unlimited toilet water access.	1.3732	0.05530	142	103	25	14
965	I hope you don't have any outdated attitudes about female executives.	1.3732	0.05252	142	100	31	11
966	Please sign under the statement, “There is only one best dog in the whole wide world.”	1.3732	0.05156	142	99	33	10
967	She's your supervisor, and if you call her a bitch again, you'll no longer be working for us.	1.3732	0.05156	142	99	33	10
968	You might call it a legal bone of contention.'	1.3731	0.05154	134	92	34	8
969	He'll do the baths if you can get rid of the cat.	1.3730	0.05253	126	86	33	7
970	It’s her pre-Pup agreement for you to sign.	1.3729	0.05077	118	78	36	4
971	My client has agreed to your proposal but with one stipulation; you wear the leash.	1.3725	0.05154	153	109	31	13
972	The dog has full custody if the apartment and your son.	1.3725	0.05899	102	70	26	6
973	You will stop the baby-talk and he will resume bringing your slippers.	1.3723	0.05675	137	100	23	14
974	My client would like you to take the lead.	1.3723	0.05076	137	94	35	8
975	My client wants you to know that you have also been a 'good boy' over the years, and he hopes there are no hard feelings, as it's just a business decision.	1.3716	0.05276	148	106	29	13
976	Just mark on the three yellow spots.	1.3714	0.06240	105	75	21	9
977	About the 401K-9. . .	1.3711	0.05920	97	66	26	5
978	Who's the good boy now?	1.3711	0.06442	97	69	20	8
979	She wants you to sign this pre-pup.	1.3710	0.06110	124	92	18	14
980	You can keep the vacuum cleaner, but he won't budge on the big stick in the backyard	1.3710	0.05664	124	88	26	10
981	My client's position is that you sit, stay and sign on the dotted line.	1.3710	0.05428	124	86	30	8
982	Scout here will shepard you through the onboarding process.	1.3710	0.05779	124	89	24	11
983	My client wishes you the best - and hopefully you will never cheat with that bitch again.	1.3710	0.06110	124	92	18	14
984	And this requires no fewer than sixteen per session. If your arm goes, you will be expected to procure a "ball-throwy-stick thing".	1.3707	0.06187	116	85	19	12
985	So there you have it . You are no longer Man and Best Friend	1.3704	0.05437	135	96	28	11
986	This stipulates that Max is the only acceptable answer to “Who’s a good boy?”	1.3704	0.06113	108	77	22	9
987	Going forward, any demands that my client roll over will have to be submitted through me.	1.3704	0.05123	135	93	34	8
988	Please lift a leg and leave your scent-mark in this area here	1.3701	0.05788	127	92	23	12
989	My client's lawsuit contends that you faked throwing his squeaky ball with malicious intent.	1.3701	0.05679	127	91	25	11
990	Sign below the paw print.	1.3701	0.04848	127	84	39	4
991	Here are your walking papers, you'll need a leash.	1.3701	0.05788	127	92	23	12
992	He’s suing you for defamation of character by calling him “Mr. Stinky.”	1.3699	0.05052	146	102	34	10
993	My client accepts that you keep the house and your wife, he gets the yard and tennis balls.	1.3697	0.05451	119	82	30	7
994	It's a court order to say "lie down," not "lay down."	1.3697	0.05951	119	86	22	11
995	My neutered client's demand is to be called a 'good it'.	1.3696	0.05252	138	97	31	10
996	Do you have any difficulty reporting to a dog?	1.3696	0.05047	138	95	35	8
997	...and finally you always actually THROW the ball.	1.3696	0.05352	138	98	29	11
998	Be a good boy and sign it.	1.3692	0.05253	130	90	32	8
999	It’s our final offer. Compliant baths in exchange for an extra walk and 30 per cent more of the bed.	1.3689	0.05843	122	88	23	11
1000	You get the house, he gets the kids!	1.3689	0.05484	122	85	29	8
1001	Looks like you don't have a dog in this fight.	1.3689	0.05100	122	82	35	5
1002	We'd like to thank you for your service, Johnson, but Rover is much more popular with the clients.	1.3684	0.05746	114	80	26	8
1003	Perhaps it's time for you to review the Belly Rub clause.	1.3684	0.05879	114	81	24	9
1004	After you sign this paperwork, you will be out of the doghouse.	1.3684	0.04999	152	107	34	11
1005	She says you get to keep the doghouse.	1.3684	0.05171	133	92	33	8
1006	He wants you to sign off before he’ll shake.	1.3684	0.05086	152	108	32	12
1007	It's the standard pre-puptial agreement	1.3684	0.05387	133	94	29	10
1008	We have a very formal process... unfortunately our last dog walker owned several cats	1.3684	0.05171	133	92	33	8
1009	You get to visit the couch on weekends.	1.3680	0.05148	125	85	34	6
1010	She wants to know if you pet on the first date.	1.3680	0.04891	125	83	38	4
1011	This one says organic buffalo only	1.3677	0.04146	155	108	40	7
1012	I'm sorry, but he's found a new alpha.	1.3675	0.05374	117	80	31	6
1013	Oh yeah Mr 'works like a dog!', it turns out Rover over here has outperformed you in picking stocks for each of the last three months!	1.3672	0.05750	128	93	23	12
1014	My colleague here wants you to know that we take all kinds of diversity very seriously.	1.3672	0.05305	128	89	31	8
1015	In this dog-eat-dog world I'm afraid your companion has the leverage.	1.3670	0.05779	109	76	26	7
1016	And by your signature on this form, you are certifying that Spot is indeed a "good boy".	1.3670	0.04991	109	71	36	2
1017	Yes you have to sign the no biting clause.	1.3670	0.05631	109	77	25	7
1018	According to the nine-tenths rule, Sammy now owns your bed.	1.3670	0.05631	109	75	28	6
1019	He’s requesting the barkalounge and the giant plushie bear.	1.3667	0.05149	120	81	34	5
1020	In his will, he's leaving you the ball.	1.3667	0.05909	120	87	22	11
1021	He comes to work happy and I can scratch his head, that’s why he’s getting a promotion.	1.3667	0.05043	150	106	33	11
1022	My client says that two walks a day and a "Good boy" are now insufficient. He wants a new squeaky toy and stock options, too.	1.3667	0.05667	120	85	26	9
1023	We're quite confident the jury will agree my client is "a very good boy."	1.3664	0.05220	131	91	32	8
1024	My client doesn't care you didn't realise from the internet that he was a dog.	1.3663	0.06089	101	71	23	7
1025	Your failure to give my client a second breakfast has left him no choice but to sue.	1.3662	0.05045	142	99	34	9
1026	She says that you put her on a leash only to take your phone out for a walk instead.	1.3661	0.05672	112	78	27	7
1027	I don't care if Sparky's tail was wagging. Touching without consent gets you fired in this office.	1.3661	0.05812	112	79	25	8
1028	THE DOG WANTS INFORMATION ABOUT YOUR PEDIGREE.	1.3659	0.05509	123	91	21	11
1029	Your ex has offered him the Queen bedroom , he wants to know what you will offer.	1.3659	0.05803	123	89	23	11
1030	Legally speaking, my client has no bone to pick with you but he does want the dog house.	1.3656	0.05879	93	63	26	4
1031	That's what you get for signing a "Power of Attorney". The dog is your master now.	1.3652	0.05837	115	82	24	9
1032	It's done. You are no longer best friends.	1.3652	0.05569	115	80	28	7
1033	My client is willing to let you visit the pups on alternate thursdays.	1.3652	0.05569	115	80	28	7
1034	Just sign here and we'll call off the dogs.	1.3652	0.05837	115	82	24	9
1035	The company rewards loyalty. Our colleague here can testify to that.	1.3652	0.05704	115	81	26	8
1036	And lastly, my client retains the right to any bones found on the property.	1.3651	0.05357	126	90	27	9
1037	My client is seeking damages for mental distress caused by what he refers to as multiple“tennis ball throw fake-outs.”	1.3650	0.05371	137	98	28	11
1038	It is fair. Don't forget that You have opposable thumbs.	1.3650	0.05371	137	98	28	11
1039	He's convinced obedience school is the best option for you.	1.3645	0.05376	107	72	31	4
1040	This agreement not to spay was prepared by Pinscher, Schnauzer and Katz, Attorneys at Paw.	1.3645	0.05695	107	74	27	6
1041	And you get to keep the cats.	1.3644	0.05337	118	81	31	6
1042	Sorry but Fido is just not that into you anymore.	1.3644	0.05200	118	80	33	5
1043	Sure. He's my attorney. Why did you ask?	1.3644	0.05730	118	84	25	9
1044	My client is offering the collar, the leash and the entirety of the chew toy collection, but the house is non-negotiable.	1.3643	0.05190	140	99	31	10
1045	I think you'll find his offer both excitable and remarkably short-sighted.	1.3642	0.05088	162	118	29	15
1046	Sign to resign as his Fidociary.	1.3636	0.05512	132	95	26	11
1047	No more boy, good boy, or Mr. Barker. He really just wants you to pick a name and stick with it.	1.3636	0.05209	143	102	30	11
1048	He scored higher on loyalty, so we’re going with him…	1.3636	0.05868	121	88	22	11
1049	The demand is reasonable - four walks a day and and table scraps after holiday meals.	1.3636	0.04597	132	87	42	3
1050	Hopefully no hard feelings. Man's best friend here met a french poodle on the other side of town that made him an offer he couldn't refuse.	1.3636	0.05249	121	83	32	6
1051	Sorry if the pages are a bit dog-eared	1.3636	0.05736	110	77	26	7
1052	Sign here to give him his walking papers.	1.3636	0.06168	99	70	22	7
1053	Fido will adopt you if you sign the contract including unlimited treats,multiple daily walks and his sleeping in your bed.	1.3636	0.05998	99	69	24	6
1054	If you are determined to continue to work from home,these are our terms	1.3636	0.05076	132	91	34	7
1055	Actually, my client claims that you pooped in his yard!	1.3636	0.05512	132	95	26	11
1056	We're now down to Ralph's final, non-negotiable demand, the exchange of houses.	1.3636	0.05298	132	93	30	9
1057	We've covered walks and food. Now we must deal with favorite chairs and TV shows.	1.3630	0.05132	146	104	31	11
1058	Take my advice and sign. My client isn’t afraid to play ruff.	1.3630	0.05216	135	95	31	9
1059	It just certifies Gus as a good boy. A very good boy.	1.3629	0.05532	124	88	27	9
1060	We’re claiming breach of your pre-puptial agreement.	1.3628	0.05905	113	81	23	9
1061	I'm sorry we have to let you go. Our company is going to the dogs.	1.3626	0.06540	91	65	19	7
1062	The original agreement was that you would work from home.	1.3624	0.04968	149	105	34	10
1063	He's an asset hound.	1.3623	0.05033	138	96	34	8
1064	He chased your car, caught it, and now claims it is his.	1.3623	0.05033	138	96	34	8
1065	You’ll be required to stay in a crate overnight during any visits to joint property.	1.3623	0.05437	138	100	26	12
1066	I’m sorry but she left the entire estate to Frisky over here…	1.3622	0.04958	127	86	36	5
1067	This says your barking up the wrong tree	1.3621	0.05923	116	84	22	10
1068	My client demands the right to no longer be a good boy.	1.3621	0.05923	116	84	22	10
1069	Don't ask him to beg.	1.3615	0.05123	130	90	33	7
1070	Sorry, Skippy’s scores are higher.	1.3613	0.05434	119	83	29	7
1071	How are you at fetching?	1.3609	0.05156	133	93	32	8
1072	My client states that on November 3rd you caused him to erroneously believe you'd thrown a ball.	1.3609	0.05373	133	95	28	10
1073	He wants you to keep the leash.	1.3609	0.05156	133	93	32	8
1074	It’s her prepuptial agreement.	1.3607	0.05468	122	86	28	8
1075	Accept his final offer if you want to keep the cat.	1.3607	0.05468	122	86	28	8
1076	Sorry Jenkins, you didn't pass the sniff test.	1.3605	0.05194	147	106	29	12
1077	My client has a bone to pick with you, Mr. Wickham	1.3605	0.06280	86	62	18	6
1078	His final offer is to give you the doghouse and visitation rights to the cat.	1.3604	0.05836	111	79	24	8
1079	He’s become accustomed to a certain lifestyle.	1.3603	0.05490	136	99	25	12
1080	Then it's agreed. Duke gets the dog house and the chew toys, and you get the vacuum cleaner and the cat.	1.3602	0.05179	161	119	26	16
1081	We've been digging up a lot of dirt on you.	1.3600	0.05949	100	70	24	6
1082	It’s a Pre-Pup.	1.3600	0.05131	125	86	33	6
1083	She wants full custody of the tennis ball.	1.3600	0.05131	125	86	33	6
1084	I'm sorry. He prefers someone who smells more like bacon.	1.3597	0.05003	139	97	34	8
1085	Rover wants the SUV	1.3597	0.05055	139	100	29	10
1086	The terms are fair since you were the one who introduced my client to her dog walker.	1.3596	0.05727	114	81	25	8
1087	He wants you to know,he knows where the bones are buried.	1.3596	0.05861	114	82	23	9
1088	You can have the crate. She would like the master bed.	1.3596	0.05992	114	83	21	10
1089	Are you a good boy? Are you?	1.3596	0.06636	89	64	18	7
1090	Snowball has many cash offers on the dog house. Would you consider waving the inspection?	1.3594	0.05404	128	91	28	9
1091	You can have the house, but we get full custody of the yard.	1.3592	0.05664	103	71	27	5
1092	She wants to be emancipated.	1.3592	0.04931	142	99	35	8
1093	He's not willing to give up the beach house, but you can have the car	1.3590	0.05355	117	81	30	6
1094	Bad Boy. Sit. Sign.	1.3590	0.05624	117	83	26	8
1095	You'll both have 10 minutes to complete the test.	1.3588	0.05533	131	95	25	11
1096	My client has provided ample evidence showing he is in fact a good boy. He will be seeking damages for all utterances of “bad dog” and requires compensation in form of extra belly rubs.	1.3587	0.05902	92	63	25	4
1097	The cat must remain at least 25ft away at all times	1.3586	0.05332	145	106	26	13
1098	We’re through playing games.	1.3583	0.05650	120	86	25	9
1099	I'm sorry, but Rusty's decided our firm will be his new best friend from here on out.	1.3583	0.05650	120	86	25	9
1100	No more comments comparing his bark to his bite and he agrees to play fetch the ball twice a week	1.3583	0.04850	120	80	37	3
1101	Oh, that's Darla, my emotional support animal. She helps with the crushing guilt from fleecing nice people like yourself.	1.3582	0.05443	134	97	26	11
1102	As per the pre-pup agreement with my client, they are entitled to daily park visitation rights upon moving to the city.	1.3582	0.05125	134	94	32	8
1103	This is the number of treats it will take for him to be a good boy	1.3582	0.05125	134	94	32	8
1104	Face it, either take down the videos or start paying royalties.	1.3579	0.06155	95	67	22	6
1105	He’s tired of learning new tricks	1.3578	0.05905	109	78	23	8
1106	My client has decided to drop the forced neutering charge if you agree to sign off on two walks a day.	1.3578	0.05610	109	76	27	6
1107	Just think next time you pretend throw a ball, okay?	1.3578	0.05610	109	76	27	6
1108	… And as man’s best friend, he is entitled to palimony.	1.3577	0.05787	123	90	22	11
1109	Mr. Johnson, when you read this affidavit, you'll clearly see that it is in fact my client who is, beyond any question, a "good boy."	1.3577	0.05787	123	90	22	11
1110	My client has filed this court order that you cease immediately blaming your flatulence on “the dog”.	1.3571	0.05341	126	89	29	8
1111	We’re asking for full custody of the cat.	1.3571	0.04763	140	96	38	6
1112	Under the terms of the buyout, he will stay on until his replacement is trained.	1.3571	0.05793	112	80	24	8
1113	My client demands access to the whole bed, not just the foot.	1.3571	0.05459	126	90	27	9
1114	We expect you to work like a dog. Any questions?	1.3571	0.07114	84	62	14	8
1115	My client alleges that you've been coming home smelling like other dogs.	1.3571	0.06024	98	69	23	6
1116	‘“She demands custody of your old brown shoe.”	1.3571	0.05797	126	93	21	12
1117	Throw me a bone, Dan.	1.3571	0.06024	98	69	23	6
1118	He wants to keep the kids and the beach house.	1.3566	0.05138	129	90	32	7
1119	It's not everything. She's willing to throw you a bone.	1.3565	0.05818	115	83	23	9
1120	To be clear, Mr. Smith, you are not to call, to text or to communicate with Sparky.	1.3565	0.05818	115	83	23	9
1121	My client wishes to renegotiate the terms of his leash.	1.3561	0.05283	132	94	29	9
1122	It's time for you to roll over.	1.3561	0.05498	132	96	25	11
1123	She's filing for a new owner as you insist on calling her a bitch...	1.3559	0.05318	118	82	30	6
1124	You bring the baggies, he will do the rest.	1.3557	0.05135	149	108	29	12
1125	My client claims you're the whistleblower.	1.3556	0.06183	90	63	22	5
1126	Sir, The PreNup clearly gives her Custody of the Puppies.	1.3554	0.06195	121	92	15	14
1127	Agreed, Snickers will keep the frisbee, all chewy toys, anything buried in the backyard with visitation rights to the kids every other weekend.	1.3554	0.05230	121	84	31	6
1128	Our #1 criteria for hiring new staff is that they be a Good Boy.	1.3551	0.05516	107	74	28	5
1129	He will continue to fetch however you must agree not to dress my client in silly jackets.	1.3551	0.05827	107	76	24	7
1130	Sign and date in dog years, please.	1.3551	0.05018	138	97	33	8
1131	In exchange for always being glad to see you, you agree to three thirty-minute walks per day and June in the Hamptons.	1.3551	0.05224	138	99	29	10
1132	And she promises to not chew on any more of your shoes, if you take her to the dog park twice a week.	1.3551	0.05122	138	98	31	9
1133	As you're his sole heir he's leaving you the the fenced yard, the dog house and any residual kibbles. The cute dog walker gets the rest.	1.3551	0.05122	138	98	31	9
1134	Best friend or not, you're still being let go.	1.3548	0.06047	93	65	23	5
1135	Lastly, five minutes of belly rubs every other day and Charlie agrees to be your best friend forever.	1.3548	0.04734	155	109	37	9
1136	And please initial here indicating your agreement to play 'fetch', as defined in subparagraph (f), at least three times each week, regardless of weather.	1.3548	0.05272	124	87	30	7
1137	I am his attorney, but Rex ipsa loquitor.	1.3545	0.05568	110	77	27	6
1138	Of course you'll keep one of each shoe.	1.3543	0.05306	127	90	29	8
1139	My client refuses to be muzzled !	1.3543	0.04940	127	87	35	5
1140	A dog can instinctively tell when you're lying. Unless you're a cat.	1.3542	0.05920	96	67	24	5
1141	So, Mr. Ruffles has chosen his side in the divorce...	1.3542	0.04875	144	101	35	8
1142	If you don't take this deal, my client is prepared to W.A.L.K.	1.3542	0.06279	96	69	20	7
1143	You’ve won custody of the cat”	1.3540	0.05611	113	80	26	7
1144	These are your barking orders.	1.3540	0.05468	113	79	28	6
1145	If we tell you the answer to "who's a good boy?" will you sign it?	1.3538	0.05335	130	93	28	9
1146	My client wants me to inform you that now it’s your turn to roll over.	1.3535	0.05974	99	70	23	6
1147	The genetic test says you are not my client's biological father. What terms will you meet for him to continue greeting you at the door?	1.3535	0.05974	99	70	23	6
1148	You keep the kennel. He gets the house.	1.3534	0.05645	116	83	25	8
1149	Your dog has left you everything in his will. He hopes you'll do the same.	1.3534	0.05645	116	83	25	8
1150	You can still be friends.	1.3534	0.04914	133	92	35	6
1151	You can work from home Bob, but Barkley will stay with us in the office from now on	1.3534	0.05668	133	99	21	13
1152	Sorry,but Muffy trends better for us....	1.3533	0.04451	150	107	35	8
1153	I’m sorry, Roger. We’ve decided that you’re not a good boy.	1.3529	0.05545	119	85	26	8
1154	We are willing to offer you full and free title to the doghouse as long as you continue living there full time.	1.3529	0.05282	119	83	30	6
1155	Yes in actuality, it is a dog eat dog world.	1.3529	0.05545	119	85	26	8
1156	You can keep the house, Mr. Rumples just wants the backyard.	1.3529	0.05169	136	97	30	9
1157	This last one just states you'll stop picking up his poop. He finds it weird.	1.3529	0.05545	119	85	26	8
1158	This temporary restraining order prohibits you for walking in two specific parks with that other dog that has come into your life.	1.3529	0.05545	119	85	26	8
1159	She accuses you of sleeping with another dog.	1.3529	0.06331	102	75	18	9
1160	You agree to three walks a day and no cats	1.3525	0.05092	139	99	31	9
1161	You must also agree that he will be the top dog...	1.3525	0.06039	122	92	17	13
1162	This contract stipulates you will be HIS best friend.	1.3524	0.05577	105	73	27	5
1163	It is now established who is a good boy. Are YOU a good man?	1.3524	0.05896	105	75	23	7
1164	Just dip your hand in the ink and press it here.	1.3523	0.06672	88	64	17	7
1165	You can keep the doghouse, Mr. Rex just want's the condo in Boca and the Eames chairs	1.3520	0.05112	125	87	32	6
1166	She'll settle if you throw in a bone.	1.3520	0.05359	125	89	28	8
1167	You get the doghouse.	1.3519	0.05782	108	77	24	7
1168	Drool here, here and here.	1.3519	0.06074	108	79	20	9
1169	And my client wants all of the cat’s play toys as well.	1.3519	0.04990	162	119	29	14
1170	I'm sorry, but my client has a new best friend.	1.3516	0.06127	91	64	22	5
1171	He’d like joint custody of the newspaper.	1.3516	0.04909	128	88	35	5
1172	As your dog's attorney, I'm letting you know we are no longer in favor of neutering.	1.3516	0.05272	128	91	29	8
1173	Sign here, and you agree to full couch privileges, and my client will agree to leave all slippers intact.”	1.3516	0.05154	128	90	31	7
1174	He says he wants the house ,but you can have full custody of the cat.	1.3516	0.05500	128	93	25	10
1175	There are some photos of you and a Golden Retriever in this folder. He wants an explanation.	1.3514	0.05673	111	79	25	7
1176	Your job is to feed and walk the dog so he can continue to creatively market for us.	1.3514	0.05673	111	79	25	7
1177	The cat betrayal was too much, though he offers to remain your “good” friend.	1.3511	0.05801	94	65	25	4
1178	It's quite simple Mr. Gordon, either the Cat goes or my client goes.	1.3509	0.05284	114	79	30	5
1179	How does a dog even hire an attorney? Well if you must know, he paid me in Dogecoin.	1.3507	0.05428	134	98	25	11
1180	And here you agree all clothing decisions - including but not limited to sweaters, hats, raingear and especially Halloween costumes - will be arrived at mutually.	1.3505	0.05870	97	68	24	5
1181	As you can see, my client is a very good “man” and hasn’t been a “boy” for over 2 years	1.3500	0.05573	100	69	27	4
1182	because it was supposed to be a dog and PONY show!	1.3500	0.05507	120	86	26	8
1183	My client is prepared to shake on this.	1.3500	0.06093	100	72	21	7
1184	You have to remember this extension is in dog years.	1.3500	0.05507	120	86	26	8
1185	We're proposing an even split of all squeaking toys.	1.3500	0.05925	100	71	23	6
1186	My client is unleashing his demands.	1.3500	0.05246	120	84	30	6
1187	My client requests daily access to the northeast portion of the lawn.	1.3496	0.05413	123	88	27	8
1188	My client is demanding half your assets and visitation rights to the upstairs toilet bowl.	1.3495	0.05468	103	71	28	4
1189	I'd advise you to settle this out of court before you're left sleeping in the dog house.	1.3495	0.06279	103	76	18	9
1190	He says your offer doesn't pass the sniff test.	1.3494	0.06734	83	60	17	6
1191	He wants you to sign this non-disclosure in regards to the 'leg-hug' incident earlier.	1.3493	0.05012	146	105	31	10
1192	Before we get started, can I get you some coffee? Some treats?	1.3492	0.05203	126	89	30	7
1193	.....and finally, she wants to swap houses	1.3491	0.06001	106	77	21	8
1194	At least throw him a bone.	1.3488	0.05121	129	91	31	7
1195	He hired me because he has a bone to pick.	1.3488	0.05238	129	92	29	8
1196	In exchange for you paying obedience school tuition, vet bills and kibble costs my client agrees to allow weekly visitation rights with the pups.	1.3488	0.05352	129	93	27	9
1197	My client is offering to stay off the couch in exchange for you throwing away the can of coins. I think it's a fair compromise.	1.3488	0.04481	172	122	40	10
1198	As assistant to the CEO, your primary responsibility will be to obey his commands."	1.3487	0.04874	152	111	30	11
1199	My client seeks an amicable separation. So, still friend, just not ‘best’ friend.	1.3486	0.05433	109	76	28	5
1200	Have you ever worked for a bitch before?	1.3486	0.06026	109	80	20	9
1201	He proposes at least two walks a day and three on Sunday.	1.3486	0.05587	109	77	26	6
1202	Most people aren't familiar with our pro bono work.	1.3485	0.05482	132	97	24	11
1203	Regretably, the humililation of the Halloween costume was the last straw.	1.3483	0.06210	89	63	21	5
1204	Fluffy wants the house but is willing to throw you a bone.	1.3482	0.05772	112	81	23	8
1205	Let's see who's in the doghouse now.	1.3482	0.05185	112	77	31	4
1206	Paw prints on the dotted line please.	1.3482	0.05412	112	81	24	7
1207	She's willing to give you the doghouse, but she wants the car.	1.3482	0.05185	112	77	31	4
1208	No. The dog represents me.	1.3482	0.05910	112	82	21	9
1209	As your lawyer it's my obligation to tell you that puppy love comes with serious obligations.	1.3481	0.04740	135	93	37	5
1210	I know it's hard for you, but he's of age now and wants his emancipation.	1.3481	0.04483	158	113	37	8
1211	My client has asked that you never, in perpetuity, fake throw the tennis ball again.	1.3478	0.06266	92	66	20	6
1212	My client says, "Nick nack paddy whack Give a dog a bone -- or else!"	1.3478	0.05530	115	82	26	7
1213	This is a Temporary Restraining Order preventing you from spaying my client, dressing her in holiday costumes or balancing treats on her nose until these issues are fully litigated.	1.3478	0.04786	138	96	36	6
1214	Ms. Fido requires this pre-Best Friend agreement, or the adoption is off.	1.3478	0.05390	115	81	28	6
1215	You're being sued for misrepresentation of the word 'fixed.'	1.3478	0.06181	115	87	16	12
1216	You ate the meat around that bone, didn't you?	1.3478	0.06056	115	86	18	11
1217	My client is seeking a new human due to your inadequate belly rubs.	1.3478	0.04949	138	100	29	9
1218	You can keep the house, he just wants the couch.	1.3475	0.04720	141	98	37	6
1219	Oh him? He's just an intern. He'll fetch whatever we need	1.3475	0.05031	141	101	31	9
1220	My client reminds you that he is a good boy.	1.3475	0.05943	118	88	19	11
1221	It's called a PrePup. My client insists you sign before any bow-wows.	1.3475	0.05160	118	82	31	5
1222	Before we begin negotiations, you must sign the 'No Walkies, No Talkies" agreement.	1.3475	0.04564	118	83	31	4
1223	Well Rover can only hire one of us and you did not even wear a suit and tie to the interview.	1.3474	0.06483	95	70	17	8
1224	She's suing the cat.	1.3474	0.06820	95	72	13	10
1225	I’m his lawyer pro bono.	1.3474	0.05943	95	67	23	5
1226	She wants the leash, the bowl, run of the yard and full custody of the puppies. And, believe me, she will NOT roll over!	1.3472	0.05151	144	105	28	11
1227	He needs you to testify at his trial that he really is a good dog, yes he is.	1.3471	0.05715	121	89	22	10
1228	This is your promise not to dress him in people clothes and his agreement not to poop on your bed.	1.3469	0.06503	98	73	16	9
1229	Oh he? The other guy had to work from home so George is covering for him.	1.3468	0.04864	124	90	27	7
1230	Sorry, but my client only sees things in black and white.	1.3468	0.05615	124	91	23	10
1231	He prefers the country home	1.3468	0.05315	124	91	24	9
1232	It says you don't own him; you're just leashing him.	1.3465	0.06204	101	74	19	8
1233	But the wording is clear .. you will be fed and walked until you die but Brewster gets the house and the car.	1.3465	0.05520	127	93	24	10
1234	This NDA ensures neither of you can talk	1.3465	0.05632	127	94	22	11
1235	What my client is saying is that the usual forms of gaining your attention- the early morning barking, vomiting on or near bedding and chewing of favorite shoes just wasn't working anymore. He had no choice but to seek outside legal representation.	1.3465	0.05289	127	91	28	8
1236	She's gone on the papers now you go on the papers and we'll be done.	1.3464	0.04666	153	108	37	8
1237	Sorry, but you may have heard that every dog has his day.	1.3462	0.05426	104	72	28	4
1238	You'll be hired if you can pass our Loyalty and Obedience Test.	1.3459	0.05124	133	95	30	8
1239	Buddy has been working here 4 dog years, that's 28 human years. As he is our most senior employee, he will be conducting your interview.	1.3459	0.05342	133	97	26	10
1240	You're licked.	1.3458	0.05650	107	76	25	6
1241	Fido is willing to settle this suit, but he wants his balls back.	1.3458	0.05804	107	77	23	7
1242	She's my comfort dog. I don't like heights.	1.3458	0.05804	107	77	23	7
1243	Your loyalty profile didn't quite make the cut, I'm afraid.	1.3457	0.06373	81	57	20	4
1244	He feels your purchase of a cat nullifies his obligation to be your best friend but hopes you'll always consider him a "good boy".	1.3455	0.05839	110	80	22	8
1245	Lastly, sign this page, that you agree to be neutered.	1.3453	0.05178	139	101	28	10
1246	He says to tell you that you said “sit” not “stay”.	1.3451	0.05446	113	80	27	6
1247	You'll want to sign these papers before he goes on them.	1.3451	0.05729	113	82	23	8
1248	He's not a Therapy Dog. He needs a Therapy Person.	1.3451	0.05729	113	82	23	8
1249	And of course, he demands full custody of all the squeaky toys.	1.3448	0.05885	116	86	20	10
1250	Just because he's your support animal doesn't mean he can help you answer any of the questions	1.3448	0.06135	116	88	16	12
1251	As you can see, my client is tired of being walked all over.	1.3448	0.05757	116	85	22	9
1252	He wants joint custody of the slippers.	1.3445	0.05395	119	85	27	7
1253	And if you'd please sign where it says, 'Woof woof woof'...'	1.3445	0.05653	119	87	23	9
1254	My client will agree to stop barking, if you will agree to stop playing your violin"	1.3444	0.06352	90	65	19	6
1255	This would be a good time to sit, roll over, and beg.	1.3444	0.07095	90	69	11	10
1256	That's correct. Your job is to feed him,walk him and handle any accidents. Trust me,it is a promotion from marketing.	1.3443	0.05431	122	88	26	8
1257	This says that you'll be entitled to walks every other weekend.	1.3443	0.05043	122	85	32	5
1258	He said he identifies as your ex wife…	1.3443	0.05431	122	88	26	8
1259	You keep the leash and you can live in the dog house.	1.3442	0.04641	154	109	37	8
1260	New owner must execute two vigorous belly rubs and a scratch behind the ears each day. That's our final offer.	1.3441	0.05821	93	65	24	4
1261	For the adoption to proceed you must agree to these prohibitions on costuming and Tik Tok posts.	1.3441	0.05821	93	65	24	4
1262	This suit alledges that you, in fact, let the dogs out	1.3441	0.06575	93	69	16	8
1263	Now be a good boy.	1.3438	0.05370	128	93	26	9
1264	Fluffy’ s complaint is that he cannot appear overjoyed to see you given your decision to work from home.	1.3438	0.05703	128	96	20	12
1265	'Fetch' is agreed to. 'Bring it back' is a non-starter.	1.3438	0.05014	128	90	32	6
1266	'Fair' is half of all the tennis balls.	1.3434	0.05209	99	67	30	2
1267	This is how much my client demands for the fart blaming to continue.	1.3434	0.06759	99	76	12	11
1268	One final thing before we complete this paperwork. He needs to sniff your butt.	1.3433	0.05412	134	99	24	11
1269	And this document guarantees you'll be HIS best friend.	1.3429	0.05714	105	75	24	6
1270	Looks like the ball's in your court.	1.3429	0.05552	105	74	26	5
1271	And this one is for emotional distress brought on by your unconscionable decision to have his testicles removed.	1.3429	0.04943	140	100	32	8
1272	He wants the dog house, all bone rights and custody of the cat.	1.3429	0.05046	140	101	30	9
1273	My client asks that YOU be the good boy now and sign this.	1.3429	0.06026	105	77	20	8
1274	My client and I refuse to just roll over on this issue.	1.3429	0.05714	105	75	24	6
1275	Leave it. Leave it.	1.3429	0.06026	105	77	20	8
1276	My client deeply regrets the thanksgiving turkey incident. She is prepared to offer the location of a rotting squirrel to make amends.	1.3421	0.05953	114	85	19	10
1277	She's just tired of the everyday run around.	1.3421	0.05822	114	84	21	9
1278	He'd like you to sign this confidentiality agreement before he speaks.	1.3421	0.05687	114	83	23	8
1279	Sparky would like to settle over the 'incident' at the vet last Friday	1.3419	0.05451	117	84	26	7
1280	Fido feels that best friend was always aspirational.	1.3419	0.05584	117	85	24	8
1281	In the prepuptial, you'll find the standard no leash and organic protein clauses.	1.3419	0.05584	117	85	24	8
1282	We find your pedigree not quite up to par.	1.3418	0.06951	79	58	15	6
1283	The contract clearly stipulates there will not be any new tricks	1.3417	0.05225	120	85	29	6
1284	My client has a bone to pick with you.	1.3415	0.05394	123	89	26	8
1285	It's all just standard boilerplate stuff, of course, but it's all in dog years, so just be aware.	1.3415	0.05394	123	89	26	8
1286	He agrees in principle, but insists you take custody of the cat.	1.3415	0.05141	123	87	30	6
1287	He barks, I bite!	1.3413	0.05060	126	89	31	6
1288	Wise choice to have such a loyal friend witness these documents.	1.3412	0.06600	85	62	17	6
1289	Based on this information, it appears someone else at this table has been a ‘Bad, Bad Boy’	1.3411	0.05103	129	92	30	7
1290	You know it turns out best if everyone is represented by counsel at these pre-adoption negotiations.	1.3411	0.05220	129	93	28	8
1291	...and this form just affirms that Spot is a Good Dog.	1.3409	0.05359	132	97	25	10
1292	My client is willing to drop his "alienation of affection" lawsuit providing you agree to return the cat to its previous owner.	1.3409	0.05025	132	94	31	7
1293	Keep in mind this is still a ruff draft.	1.3409	0.05250	132	96	27	9
1294	He's had enough of Covid bonding. You've got to return to work or, at a minimum, find a date who'll get you out of the apartment.	1.3409	0.05250	132	96	27	9
1295	He gets the doghouse, his favorite blanket, and that original Eames chair that you’ve been refusing to let him chew, are we agreed?	1.3409	0.06236	88	63	20	5
1296	She'd like you to sign this pre-puptial agreement.	1.3407	0.05274	135	99	26	10
1297	We're sorry, but Scooter feels you're barking up the wrong tree.	1.3407	0.05893	91	64	23	4
1298	You may claim it's just vacuuming, but intentional infliction of emotional distress is a tort, Mr. Baker.	1.3407	0.06294	91	66	19	6
1299	In addition to the indoor bathroom, you must completely stop referring to her as a bitch.	1.3406	0.04986	138	99	31	8
1300	She wants the puppies or the proceeds from their sale.	1.3406	0.05193	138	101	27	10
1301	It’s a prenup. He gets to keep the tennis balls	1.3406	0.05193	138	101	27	10
1302	My client would like full custody of the cat	1.3404	0.04914	141	101	32	8
1303	Sam wants a personal essay: "How I feel about dogs".	1.3404	0.06154	94	68	20	6
1304	First condition, no more canine holiday antlers.	1.3404	0.06688	94	71	14	9
1305	According to the settlement you get to shake his hand and rub his belly every other weekend.	1.3403	0.04844	144	103	33	8
1306	Scruffy says he'll sign if you promise never to go to work again.	1.3402	0.05841	97	69	23	5
1307	There may be some wiggle room vis-à-vis the number of chew toys, but I'm afraid treats and walkies are non-negotiable.	1.3402	0.05841	97	69	23	5
1308	And these are the terms of his leash.	1.3402	0.06198	97	71	19	7
1309	The girlfriend simply has to go.	1.3400	0.06067	100	73	20	7
1310	Here’s proof my client did not eat your homework.	1.3400	0.05724	100	71	24	5
1311	He wants you to be his ghostwriter.	1.3398	0.05781	103	74	23	6
1312	Your return to work post-pandemic constitutes abandonment and alienation of affection.	1.3398	0.05943	103	75	21	7
1313	Sign on the dotted line...this simply states that you have been vaccinated and neutered. You can start tomorrow and there are treats in the jar on the way out.	1.3398	0.06255	103	77	17	9
1314	My client refuses to be treated like a dog!	1.3398	0.05781	103	74	23	6
1315	You get the kennel. He gets the car keys.	1.3396	0.05669	106	76	24	6
1316	My client requires more treats, more walks, and fewer vet visits.	1.3394	0.05249	109	76	29	4
1317	You should have been satisfied with being best friends.	1.3394	0.05085	109	75	31	3
1318	She’s asking for the house and fifty - fifty custody of the children.	1.3394	0.05330	109	79	24	6
1319	Fetch, rollover, beg? This is not about who is whose best friend, Mr. Olson, this is about who owes who wages for services rendered.	1.3394	0.05409	109	77	27	5
1320	I thought you already knew we favor the underdog.	1.3394	0.05861	109	80	21	8
1321	You’ll have to sign for him, too…	1.3394	0.05249	109	76	29	4
1322	You are not the first associate we have referred to obedience training.	1.3393	0.05463	112	80	26	6
1323	I assure you, petnups are standard nowadays.	1.3391	0.05224	115	81	29	5
1324	Fido will get the Brooklyn apartment, the summer time-share, and your collection of vintage concert t-shirts, which he has already marked as his own territory.	1.3391	0.05508	115	83	25	7
1325	My client is willing to negotiate to 3 good boys a day and only 76% of your bed at night.	1.3390	0.05277	118	84	28	6
1326	He won't just be your boss, he'll be your best friend.	1.3390	0.05277	118	84	28	6
1327	Rosie wants custody of everything she’s licked, sniffed and slept on	1.3390	0.05277	118	84	28	6
1328	And you stipulate that Spot is your best friend?	1.3388	0.05190	121	86	29	6
1329	My client wants it in writing that he is not your best friend.	1.3388	0.04987	121	87	28	6
1330	You've been a very bad boy.	1.3388	0.05816	121	91	19	11
1331	A self-serve treat bar. A lifetime subscription to DOGTV. A fire hydrant in the bathroom. This is his final offer.	1.3388	0.05449	121	88	25	8
1332	We’ll be asking the judge for a stay order on your stay order.	1.3387	0.04843	124	86	34	4
1333	We feel this figure fairly accounts for back-payment for my client's missed games of fetch, lack of treats, and psychological distress from never being called a "good boy".	1.3387	0.05357	124	90	26	8
1334	And this is a licensing agreement to use his image on social media posts.	1.3385	0.05300	130	95	26	9
1335	Now you understand what we mean by "paper trained"	1.3385	0.05300	130	95	26	9
1336	As part of this job interview Spot would like you to see you use the paper.	1.3385	0.04890	130	94	29	7
1337	After the pretending-to-throw-the-ball incident, he wants assurances that a car ride to the park is just that.	1.3383	0.04993	133	95	31	7
1338	By signing this document you agree not to post embarrassing pet memes of my client on any and all social media while he is alive.	1.3383	0.04993	133	95	31	7
1339	He’s taking the couch	1.3382	0.04693	136	95	36	5
1340	My clients begs you to accept his terms.	1.3378	0.04294	148	104	39	5
1341	Let's see who writes the most appropriate caption??	1.3378	0.07270	74	55	13	6
1342	You get the house but she keeps the toilet bowl. That's our final offer.	1.3372	0.05636	86	59	25	2
1343	My client swears it was YOU who ate the homework.	1.3372	0.06322	86	62	19	5
1344	Smedley,I called this meeting to advise you that your position has been terminated—please welcome Bowser as your replacement	1.3372	0.06322	86	62	19	5
1345	She gets to keep the wife.	1.3371	0.06381	89	65	18	6
1346	Fido gets the doghouse AND the yard, because that’s where the bones are buried.	1.3371	0.06177	89	64	20	5
1347	And the phrase, "I wouldn't feed that to a dog," is legally hate speech.	1.3371	0.05967	89	63	22	4
1348	You will refer to my client as "Mr. Teddy"	1.3370	0.06236	92	67	19	6
1349	My client has instructed me to keep you on a short leash.	1.3368	0.05720	95	67	24	4
1350	You keep the house, but the dog gets the wife.	1.3367	0.05792	98	70	23	5
1351	So it's settled. He gets the side of the bed closest to the heater.	1.3367	0.05971	98	71	21	6
1352	Around here, he’s the bark. I’m the bite.	1.3367	0.05792	98	70	23	5
1353	Since you're already in it, you get to keep the doghouse.	1.3366	0.06178	101	75	18	8
1354	Fido is part of your severance package. Corporate understands that being laid off can leave you in need of moral support.”	1.3366	0.06178	101	75	18	8
1355	You drive a ruff bargain.	1.3365	0.06051	104	77	19	8
1356	If you agree to neutering my client will drop all charges.	1.3365	0.05895	104	76	21	7
1357	Funny, because this signature here seems to imply you were, in fact, the one to pass gas.	1.3365	0.05399	104	73	27	4
1358	You can chew on this and let us know.	1.3364	0.05466	107	76	26	5
1359	My client is asking for full custody of your wife.	1.3364	0.05625	107	77	24	6
1360	I should add that this is most creative power of attorney document I've ever been privileged to draft.	1.3364	0.05466	107	76	26	5
1361	Your wife goes to the dog.	1.3362	0.05468	116	84	25	7
1362	Sorry about the delay. He ate the Trust documents.	1.3362	0.05329	116	83	27	6
1363	Sign it and you're officially his best friend.	1.3362	0.05736	116	86	21	9
1364	Due to poor performance, we're transferring you to a farm upstate.	1.3361	0.05880	119	90	18	11
1365	Furthermore, my client resents being labeled as dogmatic!	1.3361	0.05411	122	89	25	8
1366	Please sign here to extend your leash.	1.3361	0.05284	122	88	27	7
1367	We would like to set forth the terms for roll over.	1.3360	0.05321	125	91	26	8
1368	So it’s settled. Champ gets the house, you get the car.	1.3359	0.05465	128	95	23	10
1369	Sorry, but his terms have now changed. He is demanding the doghouse in the Riviera in addition to the one n Palm Springs. You can keep the one bedroom flat in Staten Island.	1.3359	0.05351	128	94	25	9
1370	I understand that you're best friends. However a handshake doesn't constitute a legal agreement.	1.3359	0.05153	131	95	28	8
1371	So you get the puppies and FIFI here gets the penthouse on the upper west side that aunt Mary left for her.	1.3358	0.05396	134	100	23	11
1372	I'm sorry, but sole custody is a non-starter..Rex demands your wife on alternate weekends.	1.3358	0.05105	137	100	28	9
1373	Be a good boy and fill out this application	1.3356	0.04724	149	107	34	8
1374	That clears up item #47, there will be no more unfortunate dog costumes. Let's move on to item #48.	1.3333	0.05800	114	85	20	9
1375	You were an adequate employee, Bob, but Hannah here is Best in Show.	1.3333	0.05627	111	81	23	7
1376	I think you’re an idiot but my dog says you’re senior executive material — which means we’re both right. When can you start ?	1.3333	0.06120	90	65	20	5
1377	Now you have to eat his homework.	1.3333	0.05920	99	72	21	6
1378	Under this agreement, anything the dog ever had in its mouth or thought it ever had in its mouth is his property.	1.3333	0.04830	132	98	26	8
1379	I'm sorry, but Sparky had better references.	1.3333	0.06126	102	76	18	8
1380	Don't forget you'll multiply that the contract term by 7.	1.3333	0.06560	72	51	18	3
1381	'Ruggles' is seeking pet emancipation plus damages in the amount of $3.2 million. He also wants the apartment, and your parking space.	1.3333	0.06091	99	73	19	7
1382	.... because he's got 21 dog years seniority, so you're fired.	1.3333	0.05480	111	80	25	6
1383	Each party in the mediation is considered the best boy and will refrain from rubbing, scratching, begging, or licking.	1.3333	0.05328	111	79	27	5
1384	Here are your termination documents. Sorry, but it's a dog eat dog world we work in.	1.3333	0.06120	90	65	20	5
1385	And, finally, please verify by signing here that he is your best friend.	1.3333	0.05087	114	80	30	4
1386	And Lastly , you agree to use his pronouns: they and them.	1.3333	0.05120	132	96	28	8
1387	If you agree to this liability waiver, my client will explain exactly what happened to your homework.	1.3333	0.05948	84	59	22	3
1388	Sparky here from Human Resources will go over the paperwork with you.	1.3333	0.06224	96	71	18	7
1389	Loyalty gets you far here.	1.3333	0.05120	123	88	29	6
1390	The contract covers nutrition, shelter, and testicles.	1.3333	0.05120	123	88	29	6
1391	Every dog has his day in court.	1.3333	0.05593	120	89	22	9
1392	And she would also like your slippers.	1.3333	0.05801	102	74	22	6
1393	We're sorry - you're just not a good boy. Sparky and I have decided to let you go.	1.3333	0.05671	96	68	24	4
1394	Now this one just says if you pet other dogs,she gets the house.	1.3333	0.05966	102	75	20	7
1395	We had hoped your sheep herding skills had been up to standard.	1.3333	0.04963	129	92	31	6
1396	I'm sure you will find Fluffy's number to be quite doable.	1.3333	0.04856	120	86	29	5
1397	He has a right to know his biological parents	1.3333	0.05581	108	78	24	6
1398	Ignore the wagging tail. My client will NOT agree to only one belly rub a day.	1.3333	0.05480	111	80	25	6
1399	In return, you will have to be his best friend, too.	1.3333	0.05671	96	68	24	4
1400	Why don't you chew on this.	1.3333	0.05237	114	81	28	5
1401	Fido is suing for you ex-wife to have custody.	1.3333	0.06185	84	60	20	4
1402	Further, my client would like to retain possession over the entire bone collection.	1.3333	0.05911	111	83	19	9
1403	If you just sign here, my client agrees that his bark is worse than his bite.	1.3333	0.05581	108	78	24	6
1404	It just states that you will never again blame it on my client.	1.3333	0.04772	114	78	34	2
1405	Unfortunately you haven't been a good boy	1.3333	0.06224	96	71	18	7
1406	Mr B Wow has asked me to administer a brief test to confirm your bone fides.	1.3333	0.05248	123	89	27	7
1407	Your resume is impressive but you just aren’t cute enough.	1.3333	0.05717	120	90	20	10
1408	You can keep custody of the kids, but he will always have their hearts.	1.3333	0.06086	81	57	21	3
1409	My client insists on these terms or she w-a-l-ks.	1.3333	0.05827	81	56	23	2
1410	My client contends that he is sick of being asked "Who's a Good Boy?" He will Sit and Stay until you sign these separation papers.	1.3333	0.05120	132	96	28	8
1411	He wants joint custody of Mittens	1.3333	0.05204	120	86	28	6
1412	Ms. Lulu concedes that she may have spent too much time taking care of business but suggests that if you would have taken her out more often, we wouldn’t be here today.	1.3333	0.05771	111	82	21	8
1413	Ralph has decided to change his best friend to your wife Cynthia.	1.3333	0.06152	105	79	17	9
1414	Central Park is non-negotiable.	1.3333	0.05966	102	75	20	7
1415	Now Frank, please write down your version.	1.3310	0.05166	142	106	25	11
1416	My client will agree to wearing only one winter sweater each year,and cannot have ruffles.	1.3310	0.04764	142	102	33	7
1417	Now that your uncle let the company go to the dogs there is nothing left for you	1.3309	0.04611	139	98	36	5
1418	He wants you to be a good boy and sign here.	1.3309	0.04831	139	100	32	7
1419	And this one states that she will retain the house in the Hamptons.	1.3308	0.05051	130	94	29	7
1420	He's willing to sign over the doghouse if he can keep the couch.	1.3308	0.04931	130	93	31	6
1421	Our dog sitters are required to sign an NDA.	1.3306	0.04955	124	88	31	5
1422	I can't emphasize this enough—you can bring your dog to board meetings, but under no circumstances can they vote.	1.3306	0.05458	124	92	23	9
1423	I’m sorry but we hired the dog.	1.3306	0.05914	121	93	16	12
1424	My client would like you to agree to pay for monthly grooming.	1.3306	0.05676	121	91	20	10
1425	He is asking for joint custody of your kids and alimony.	1.3305	0.05254	118	85	27	6
1426	She found out about you and the neighbor's dog	1.3305	0.05523	118	87	23	8
1427	One last bone of contention, he wants to stay in the house and not outside.	1.3304	0.05622	115	85	22	8
1428	Just a formality prior to adoption, but please be aware of the 'no neuter clause" .	1.3304	0.05200	115	82	28	5
1429	You’re fired, but I’m keeping the dog.	1.3304	0.05200	115	82	28	5
1430	I'm sorry, sir, but we are looking to diversify our work force.	1.3304	0.06264	112	87	13	12
1431	It's all spelled out here: you get the red leash and the plastic food dish. He gets the dog house, the chew toy, and the BMW.	1.3304	0.05866	112	84	19	9
1432	My client has become used to a certain standard of belly rubs.	1.3303	0.05383	109	78	26	5
1433	This is our final offer. Otherwise, my client W-A-L-K-S away.	1.3303	0.05690	109	80	22	7
1434	As per the agreement, you will henceforth cease and desist from any reference to my client, oral or written, to include all social media, as your "Fur Baby".	1.3303	0.05837	109	81	20	8
1435	You’ll have to settle for half, sir. The rest has been eaten.	1.3303	0.05538	109	79	24	6
1436	He says that squatter's rights allow him to keep the home.	1.3302	0.05315	106	75	27	4
1437	We need your signarure, too.	1.3302	0.04966	106	73	31	2
1438	I'm sorry, but Buster is better qualified.	1.3301	0.05753	103	75	22	6
1439	She’s not willing to follow your lead anymore.	1.3301	0.05412	103	73	26	4
1440	He says he'll drop the complaint if you roll over and beg.	1.3301	0.05917	103	76	20	7
1441	Nowhere in the Constitution does it say she is required to come when you call.	1.3301	0.05048	103	71	30	2
1442	He can smell employee discontent, can you?	1.3301	0.05586	103	74	24	5
1443	The dog has already signed.	1.3300	0.05870	100	73	21	6
1444	You’re a good employee, but pickles tells me you’re not a good boy.	1.3300	0.06204	100	75	17	8
1445	We’d like you to take the lead on this.	1.3300	0.06039	100	74	19	7
1446	And on behalf of my client, I’ll just add “who’s a bad man?”	1.3300	0.05695	100	72	23	5
1447	The plaintiff does not agree that it is a dog eat dog world	1.3299	0.05993	97	71	20	6
1448	We'll hire him, but you need to confirm that he'll whine quietly onscreen during the scene of his mistress's death.	1.3299	0.05623	97	69	24	4
1449	She's OK with paper on the floor, but it's a dealbreaker if it's not The Times.	1.3298	0.05737	94	67	23	4
1450	She says that you can keep the cats	1.3298	0.06307	94	70	17	7
1451	Sir, all we ask is for you to give a dog a bone.	1.3298	0.05933	94	68	21	5
1452	No,head scratches and sleeping on the bed are not optional.	1.3298	0.05933	94	68	21	5
1453	Britney wants the house. She's repeatedly marked it as her territory, so she feels she's entitled to it.	1.3297	0.05646	91	64	24	3
1454	My client here says you told him to speak without a lawyer present.	1.3297	0.05859	91	65	22	4
1455	And according to this addendum you will no longer retain the title of Master.	1.3297	0.06261	91	67	18	6
1456	To summarize; my client agrees to live in your domicile and behave as he pleases. You agree to provide for his every need and desire as enumerated in pages one through ten. Questions	1.3295	0.06609	88	66	15	7
1457	Just sign here and we'll stop hounding you.	1.3294	0.05891	85	60	22	3
1458	This clearly has not been a walk in the park for either of you.	1.3294	0.06775	85	64	14	7
1459	You keep the house but you share custody of the fire hydrant out front.	1.3293	0.06505	82	60	17	5
1460	Don't worry, I am working pro bone.	1.3289	0.07583	76	59	9	8
1461	My client is suing you for fraud when you pretended to throw his ball during fetch on January 3rd, 2021	1.3288	0.04871	146	107	30	9
1462	My client is willing to offer shared custody of the soggy tennis ball, but nothing more.	1.3287	0.04736	143	103	33	7
1463	Look who has the tail between their legs now.	1.3285	0.04872	137	99	31	7
1464	Now, regarding custody of the cat ...	1.3285	0.05087	137	101	27	9
1465	and Bowser agrees to forgo dog-support payments in return for you relinquishing ownership of your slippers	1.3282	0.05134	131	96	27	8
1466	You let the cat out of the bag.	1.3282	0.05018	131	95	29	7
1467	Sorry, he says you just aren't dog food commercial material!	1.3281	0.05096	128	95	25	8
1468	This is a restraining order. You've been a bad boy.	1.3279	0.05390	122	90	24	8
1469	He no longer wants to be your best friend.	1.3279	0.05132	122	88	28	6
1470	We're sorry, Mr. Smith. But after reading your review, Rusty from HR has determined that you are Not A Very God Boy.	1.3279	0.05871	122	94	16	12
1471	Sorry it was a typo, we meant to say 'God be with you', not 'Dog be with you'	1.3277	0.05612	119	89	21	9
1472	Now that you sat, you need to beg and roll over.	1.3277	0.05483	119	88	23	8
1473	He’s willing to let you sleep in the dog house.	1.3277	0.04936	119	84	31	4
1474	To Jasper, the decline in daily walks supports his irreconcilable differences argument.	1.3276	0.05581	116	86	22	8
1475	So you've both agreed to the terms of adoption?	1.3276	0.05015	116	82	30	4
1476	My client is seeking the house,but is willing to offer you full custody of the cat.	1.3273	0.05342	110	79	26	5
1477	My client has agreed to let you keep the house, so long as he retains exclusive rights to all bones buried out in the yard.	1.3273	0.05496	110	80	24	6
1478	Mr. Crispers is willing to let you keep the ball and the leash, but the house is non-negotiable.	1.3273	0.05342	110	79	26	5
1479	My client has a new best friend.	1.3273	0.05646	110	81	22	7
1480	Sorry, but revoking the best friend clause is not negotiable	1.3273	0.05103	110	80	25	5
1481	‘’I’m sorry but we’ve already cast Rex as Travis. But, you can still read for Old Yeller’’	1.3271	0.05599	107	80	20	7
1482	The defendant might comply with the cease and desist if you command him to Drop-It.	1.3271	0.05754	107	79	21	7
1483	In 25 words or less, if you were a dog, what breed would you be and why? Think carefully.	1.3269	0.05102	104	75	25	4
1484	He wants to see your papers.	1.3269	0.05707	104	76	22	6
1485	He is negotiating for more walks or he will leave with your ex.	1.3269	0.05541	104	75	24	5
1486	Charlie wants Brad Pitt to play him in the movie.	1.3267	0.06310	101	77	15	9
1487	He wants the kids on weekends.	1.3267	0.05821	101	74	21	6
1488	As agreed, every Tuesday he gets to pee on the rhododendron.	1.3265	0.05941	98	72	20	6
1489	No alimony, but walks and petting rights are non-negotiable	1.3265	0.05384	98	69	26	3
1490	Be thankful she is not a cat.	1.3265	0.06450	98	75	14	9
1491	My client will drop his complaint of abandonment if you agree to stay home and give him belly rubs on demand.	1.3265	0.05761	98	71	22	5
1492	We’re downsizing. It was you or the dog. The chairman likes the dog. Here are your separation papers.”	1.3263	0.06068	95	70	19	6
1493	Fido will give you the wife, but he wants the kids.	1.3261	0.06008	92	67	20	5
1494	The owner left him the company. He has a few questions for you."	1.3261	0.06008	92	67	20	5
1495	My client will not roll over in these negotiations.	1.3258	0.05712	89	63	23	3
1496	We laid off HR. This is Buddy, your assigned "support dog." His email is in your packet.	1.3258	0.04749	132	94	33	5
1497	Not lease. Leash.	1.3256	0.04942	129	93	30	6
1498	My client would like to part ways here, before another pandemic. He states that he can't get through another lockdown being an emotional sponge for your mood swings.	1.3256	0.06286	86	63	18	5
1499	My client is willing to give you the house in exchange for full custody of the cat and the brown loafers you keep in the hall closet.	1.3254	0.05143	126	92	27	7
1500	He's willing to give up people food and sleeping on the bed, but he'd like scratches behind the ear on weekends and holidays.	1.3253	0.05713	83	58	23	2
1501	I can return your homework if you sign this retraction, release, and non-disparagement agreement.	1.3252	0.05596	123	93	20	10
1502	Can you tell me what he wrote I can’t read.	1.3250	0.06104	80	57	20	3
1503	She gets the house, alimony, and the Purina stock.	1.3250	0.05181	120	87	27	6
1504	He's seeking compensation for missed walks.	1.3250	0.05181	120	89	24	7
1505	Mr. Farmer,Bingo is suing you for using his name in the song without his permission.	1.3250	0.05444	120	89	23	8
1506	One last thing before you sign: Max, here, would like a demonstration of your rope-tugging skills.	1.3250	0.05044	120	86	29	5
1507	You’re in breach of contract-my client asserts that the walks were shorter than promised and the “treats” were subpar.	1.3250	0.05314	120	88	25	7
1508	Then it's agreed: you keep the house and car, and Fluffy keeps all of your shoes.	1.3250	0.05444	120	89	23	8
1509	Ruffles here from HR said your begging worked. You're hired.	1.3248	0.05268	117	85	26	6
1510	‘He’s here to discuss his AARF membership.’	1.3248	0.05126	117	84	28	5
1511	'Face it: Rover is the Instagram account. Take the offer or he bow-wows out.'	1.3247	0.05974	77	54	21	2
1512	He doesn’t want money; just food and lodging in a warm location!	1.3246	0.05212	114	82	27	5
1513	If you sign over all of the tennis balls he will say you are a good boy.	1.3246	0.05502	114	84	23	7
1514	So we're agreed. Keith gets the house, the car and the cats. Spooner gets the compost pile and half your shoes.	1.3243	0.05602	111	82	22	7
1515	She's a silent partner.	1.3243	0.06413	74	53	18	3
1516	As per the settlement agreement, in exchange for all chew toys and bones, here are the exact locations of your missing socks and shoes, which may or may not be chewed to all hell already.	1.3243	0.07227	74	56	12	6
1517	And this is Mr. Rover's Non-Disclosure Agreement, which forbids you as dog-walker to reveal number of cats chased, bites given, and, most importantly, pee showers given or received.	1.3243	0.05302	111	80	26	5
1518	It’s a dog eat Doug world.	1.3243	0.05602	111	82	22	7
1519	She wants full custody of the puppies.	1.3243	0.05454	111	81	24	6
1520	I think you’ll find it’s a standard pre-pup.	1.3243	0.05302	111	80	26	5
1521	And now she wants to know your pedigree	1.3241	0.05555	108	79	23	6
1522	My client insists that you bark once if you agree and twice if you don't.	1.3241	0.05234	108	77	27	4
1523	This is a blank piece of paper. My client would like you to sniff it and bark once if you agree.	1.3241	0.05858	108	81	19	8
1524	Yes, it's a hard bargain; but, it's a dog eat dog world.	1.3239	0.07170	71	53	13	5
1525	Your competitor just scored in the 98th percentile on the application. Here, let's see how well you do!	1.3238	0.05327	105	75	26	4
1526	By signing this, Fido admits to no wrong doing	1.3238	0.04687	105	79	21	5
1527	The pooper-scooper clause is non-negotiable.	1.3238	0.05820	105	78	20	7
1528	He can pee in the house twice a week. That’s his final offer.	1.3238	0.05327	105	75	26	4
1529	He’s requesting that you to continue to work from home.	1.3235	0.05601	102	74	23	5
1530	And, of course he gets the house and the ball. Yes he does, yes he does.	1.3235	0.05243	102	72	27	3
1531	She'll waive the kibble and chew toys if you'll keep the damn cat.	1.3232	0.05890	99	73	20	6
1532	So, it's decided. At least 3 walks a day and no dry food with yellow corn in it.	1.3232	0.06062	99	74	18	7
1533	She left Fido the house, the car, and the boat, but at least you get the airline miles.	1.3232	0.05435	99	73	21	5
1534	She has clearly spoken, now you must sign.	1.3232	0.05890	99	73	20	6
1535	The only remaining issue is who gets custody of your wife.	1.3232	0.05890	99	73	20	6
1536	Sparky solved the problem in three minutes. Good luck.	1.3229	0.06194	96	72	17	7
1537	By signing here,you agree that Muffers is indeed a good boy.	1.3229	0.05638	96	69	23	4
1538	He wants the bed, the couch, and the doggie door. That's all.	1.3229	0.06194	96	72	17	7
1539	We will need your ruff draft by Friday.	1.3229	0.05829	96	70	21	5
1540	Please mind your language. My client prefers 'female dog.'	1.3229	0.05829	96	70	21	5
1541	This doesn’t have to be ruff. An agreement is pawsible, if we renegotiate the terms of the leash.	1.3229	0.06369	96	73	15	8
1542	She wants a little more meat left on that bone.	1.3228	0.05463	127	96	21	10
1543	My client is suing for defamation and insists that he is a good boy.	1.3226	0.05547	93	66	24	3
1544	We read your report, Robinson, and frankly, we just don't think it passes the smell test.	1.3226	0.06516	93	71	14	8
1545	My client agrees to use the curb, subject to the condition that, if you are as much as 10 minutes late in taking him for a walk, then, in his sole absolute discretion, he may use the bed, the couch, or the living room floor instead.	1.3226	0.05547	93	66	24	3
1546	We’re sorry we have to replace you but, you see, Spot has all his shots	1.3226	0.06334	93	70	16	7
1547	No, not a pre-nup. It's a pre-pup."	1.3226	0.06146	93	69	18	6
1548	We've covered walks, belly rubs and treats ... now we have to address your girlfriend's cat.	1.3223	0.05406	121	90	23	8
1549	If you don't sign this, she walks.	1.3222	0.05434	90	63	25	2
1550	We'll put a positive spin on the divorce by calling it a loving unleashing.	1.3222	0.05434	90	68	17	5
1551	She wants the chew toys, the toilet bowl, and all of your best shoes."	1.3222	0.05434	90	63	25	2
1552	You get the puppies every other weekend.	1.3222	0.06085	90	66	19	5
1553	In your own words, please tell me and Captain Rover exactly what happened last Tuesday night.	1.3220	0.05230	118	86	26	6
1554	And these are your walking papers.	1.3218	0.06436	87	65	16	6
1555	She wants full custody!	1.3218	0.06640	87	66	14	7
1556	Sign this NDA and he'll tell you, once and for all, who's been a good boy.	1.3217	0.05599	115	86	21	8
1557	No Mr Smith, Fido gets the house. You keep the tennis balls.	1.3217	0.05461	115	85	23	7
1558	Now, who gets the wife?	1.3217	0.05391	115	87	20	8
1559	My client wants the kids, the house and the ball.	1.3217	0.05599	115	86	21	8
1560	Does this answer your incessant 'Who's a good boy?' question?	1.3214	0.06144	84	61	19	4
1561	Bad news, Jenkins. Scooter finished first and got the promotion.	1.3214	0.07016	84	65	11	8
1562	Yes, he is your replacement.	1.3214	0.05560	112	83	22	7
1563	You can keep the house. She wants the tennis balls.	1.3214	0.06144	84	61	19	4
1564	The leader of the pack is quite impressed with your résumé as an emotional support human.	1.3214	0.05262	112	81	26	5
1565	Buster is finished chewing on your proposal.	1.3214	0.06144	84	61	19	4
1566	Daily walks and belly rubs are his final offer.	1.3214	0.05413	112	82	24	6
1567	You misjudge the size of the fight in my client.	1.3214	0.04890	140	103	29	8
1568	It’s just a proposal. His ruff draft.	1.3211	0.05355	109	79	25	5
1569	She is willing to share custody of the cat, but the easy chair is hers	1.3211	0.05812	109	82	19	8
1570	This is his final arfer.	1.3211	0.05194	109	78	27	4
1571	... you get the dog house and visitation with the puppies every other weekend.	1.3211	0.05812	109	82	19	8
1572	My client would like you to throw him a bone.	1.3211	0.05194	109	78	27	4
1573	Furthermore, my client demands that you immediately desist from calling her “Poochie.”	1.3211	0.05512	109	80	23	6
1574	As your best friend, he'd like half your estate - -preferably the grass and bushes part.	1.3208	0.05286	106	76	26	4
1575	OK, now it's time to write down YOUR pet peeves.	1.3208	0.05453	106	77	24	5
1576	...and Sparky gets the doghouse.	1.3206	0.04879	131	95	30	6
1577	Before she enters into a contract of ownership with you, she wants you to agree to certain terms, including a cat-free household.	1.3206	0.04757	131	94	32	5
1578	My client has informed me that what ever number you see on this paper should be multiplied by seven.	1.3206	0.04998	131	96	28	7
1579	By signing, you'll be agreeing not to neuter my client.	1.3205	0.06187	78	56	19	3
1580	Topping Cooper's list of demands will be a binding no vet policy.	1.3204	0.05556	103	75	23	5
1581	My client demands possession of all squishy and squeaky toys	1.3204	0.05202	103	73	27	3
1582	He wants the Montana sofa. That’s our final offer.	1.3204	0.05724	103	76	21	6
1583	Please note that I’m handling this case for my client pro-bone-o.	1.3200	0.05840	100	74	20	6
1584	I'm sorry, Rex says that your resume doesn't pass the sniff test	1.3200	0.05840	100	74	20	6
1585	This is my client’s settlement offer, which we think is more than fair. Of course, the girlfriend will stay with him.	1.3200	0.05295	100	71	26	3
1586	You agree then to his care and feeding in perpetuity in return for psychological support services. Sign here.	1.3200	0.05295	100	71	26	3
1587	You gotta throw us a bone here.	1.3200	0.05483	100	72	24	4
1588	Now, Steve, we didn't want to play hard, but we have to throw the puppy eyes at you	1.3200	0.06010	100	75	18	7
1589	And this is the agreement to see the puppies every other weekend.	1.3197	0.05109	122	89	27	6
1590	Before he signs this,he's going to need to sniff your butt.	1.3196	0.05778	97	71	21	5
1591	Henceforth, please cease from referring to my client as “that Bitch”	1.3196	0.05589	97	70	23	4
1592	He consents to share your wife.	1.3196	0.06311	97	74	15	8
1593	My client seeks the right to work from his dog house.	1.3196	0.05589	97	70	23	4
1594	I'm sorry. We can't continue to let sleeping dogs lie.	1.3196	0.05394	97	69	25	3
1595	My client also requests one dozen boxes of the T-R-E-A-T-S.	1.3196	0.05778	97	71	21	5
1596	Bobby Is willing to accept your new girlfriend sleeping in your common bed on fridays and saturdays as long as you change his balanced dog food for human home made meals.	1.3196	0.05961	97	72	19	6
1597	Woof. Woof, woof.	1.3196	0.05961	97	72	19	6
1598	It's just a knick knack, Paddy Wack, give the dog his bone.	1.3191	0.05899	94	69	20	5
1599	Let's face it, Mr. Cohn. You've had your day; now it's Rusty's.	1.3191	0.05899	94	69	20	5
1600	You weren't that far off when you said, 'The bitch is taking me for everything I own'	1.3191	0.05899	94	69	20	5
1601	Well, you weren’t COMPLETELY left out of your Mother’s will… Here’s the small list of what she didn’t leave to Benji…	1.3191	0.06090	94	70	18	6
1602	My client wants the full custody of the ball	1.3191	0.06275	94	71	16	7
1603	I hope your resume shows you're half the man your dog thinks you are.	1.3191	0.06090	94	70	18	6
1604	Fido get's the house, its contents, and custody of your wife and children; you get the cat.	1.3191	0.05899	94	69	20	5
1605	So, we are in agreement. You get the vacation property, and Molly gets the house and the couch.	1.3190	0.05281	116	85	25	6
1606	He wants to keep the kids	1.3190	0.05137	116	84	27	5
1607	She keeps the house and the kids. You get the dog. And it's over."	1.3190	0.05281	116	85	25	6
1608	He wants half of your bones.	1.3190	0.05557	116	87	21	8
1609	While the terms of this legal separation may seem punitive, my client never claimed to be a good boy.	1.3190	0.04836	116	82	31	3
1610	While my client is legally obligated to be man's best friend, his contract doesn't specifically necessitate being yours.	1.3187	0.05608	91	65	23	3
1611	Per the terms of your prepuptial agreement, Lady gets the doghouse, the tennis ball, and the Monet.	1.3187	0.05386	91	64	25	2
1612	When they said our business was going to the dogs, I didn't know it would be a hostile takeover.	1.3187	0.05386	91	64	25	2
1613	I’d also like you to list your favorite treats.”	1.3186	0.04912	113	80	30	3
1614	Now that he has reproduced your homework, will you write him a letter of gratitude?	1.3186	0.05373	113	83	24	6
1615	No pun intended, but you might say that are signing his 'walking papers' although you won't be walking him anymore.	1.3186	0.05223	113	82	26	5
1616	Bottom line: daily steak breakfasts and no cats in the house.	1.3186	0.05373	113	83	24	6
1617	He’s giving you full custody of the cat”	1.3185	0.05004	135	100	27	8
1618	You've been accused of giving inappropriate belly rubs.	1.3182	0.04727	132	95	32	5
1619	No, your severance package does not include the dog. Mr. Cuddles is here to convey empathy.	1.3182	0.06373	88	66	16	6
1620	Your resume says that you like cats. That’s going to be a problem.	1.3182	0.05314	110	80	25	5
1621	Since you dropped out of college and left home to pursue your dream, your father has left you $100 and his personal copy of The Seven Habits of Highly Successful People. The dog gets the rest.	1.3182	0.06373	88	66	16	6
1622	I have your performance report right here. Looks like you have NOT been a good boy this quarter."	1.3182	0.04603	132	94	34	4
1623	Our final offer is 2 walks a day and one rawhide treat before bed.	1.3182	0.05949	88	64	20	4
1624	In exchange for your cooperation,my client has agreed to be a good boy.	1.3178	0.05571	107	79	22	6
1625	I am so sorry but the dog has a better nose for business	1.3176	0.05849	85	61	21	3
1626	She wants master support, property and debt division, attorney’s fees, and sole custody of all squeaky toys.	1.3175	0.04867	126	91	30	5
1627	We can both promise you a new leash on life.	1.3175	0.05121	126	93	26	7
1628	My client's Agreement merely states that you cannot seek any damages if you happen to step in dog poop	1.3173	0.05339	104	75	25	4
1629	Let's see if you can do better than the other applicant.	1.3173	0.05840	104	78	19	7
1630	Sniff where it's marked, then piddle at the bottom.	1.3171	0.06693	82	62	14	6
1631	By "irreconcilable differences" she's referring, of course, to the new kitten.	1.3171	0.05330	123	92	23	8
1632	Maybe you should have thought about that before you mined the bitcoin in Miss Fee Fee di Napoli's name.	1.3171	0.05204	123	91	25	7
1633	So, we have agreed the dog will take the wife?	1.3171	0.05330	123	92	23	8
1634	Rex has agreed to work here provided you walk him twice a day.	1.3171	0.06227	82	60	18	4
1635	Let's be honest. Any jury will favor him over you.	1.3168	0.05790	101	75	20	6
1636	Fido would also like monetary compensation for all the times you pretended to throw the ball.	1.3168	0.05790	101	75	20	6
1637	My client says you can keep the newspaper subscription.	1.3168	0.05437	101	73	24	4
1638	Don't worry. Her claim you treated her like a dog won't hold up in court.	1.3168	0.05252	101	72	26	3
1639	Although your father left his entire estate to Mitzi, she would like to offer you lodging in exchange for walks, treats, and belly rubs as specified in this contract.	1.3167	0.05156	120	88	26	6
1640	It's non-negotiable, the cats got to go!	1.3167	0.05019	120	87	28	5
1641	My client suggests you be a good, good boy and sign the pre-pup agreement as written.	1.3167	0.05290	120	89	24	7
1642	The only bone of contention from Rex is the monthly BarkBox subscription.	1.3167	0.05290	120	89	24	7
1643	As you can imagine, we do the rescue dog process a little differently here in The Hamptons.	1.3165	0.06871	79	60	13	6
1644	You can stay on as general manager, but for ownership, Sparky feels he can do better.	1.3163	0.05909	98	73	19	6
1645	He wants you to sign a prepup agreement.	1.3163	0.05542	98	71	23	4
1646	Here's his offer: He says, 'go fetch yourself!'"	1.3163	0.05909	98	73	19	6
1647	Now on to the matter of tennis ball custody.	1.3163	0.05909	98	73	19	6
1648	He wants you to ease up on “heel”. Just sign here.	1.3162	0.05100	117	85	27	5
1649	You can have the kids if he gets the slippers.	1.3158	0.05185	114	83	26	5
1650	It’s a roll over account.	1.3158	0.05450	95	68	24	3
1651	Here you will find loyalty is paramount.	1.3158	0.05033	114	82	28	4
1652	Here are my client's terms. He's willing to negotiate if you can give him his balls back.	1.3158	0.05185	114	83	26	5
1653	My client will agree to the adoption if you can guarantee he always rides shotgun.	1.3158	0.05847	95	70	20	5
1654	And along with this restraining order, you’re prohibited from saying “Who’s a good boy?”.	1.3153	0.05427	111	82	23	6
1655	My client gets all the chew toys. This is not a negotiation.	1.3153	0.05576	111	83	21	7
1656	Ok, then it's settled. You get rid of the cat & he agrees to stop dry humping the guests.	1.3153	0.05721	111	84	19	8
1657	You realize,of course,that you are entering into a Fidoiary relationship.	1.3152	0.05769	92	67	21	4
1658	This form gives Squeezums the right to sue you should you try to change her name after the rescue papers are signed.	1.3152	0.06169	92	69	17	6
1659	Our client agrees to the neutering as long as you agree to undergo a similar procedure.	1.3152	0.06545	92	71	13	8
1660	He says you can have the house, but he wants the outdoors.	1.3152	0.05972	92	68	19	5
1661	He claims you never even used the couch.	1.3152	0.05338	92	65	25	2
1662	Your best friend has asked you to sign.	1.3148	0.05368	108	79	24	5
1663	Fluffy will be teaching our highly acclaimed work-life balance course.	1.3148	0.05368	108	79	24	5
1664	My client agrees to continue to be excited when you re-enter the room, and you agree to stop shaming him for a little piddle.	1.3146	0.05671	89	64	22	3
1665	My client is demanding that he be allowed in and out the door as often as he deems it necessary.	1.3146	0.05442	89	68	16	5
1666	I'm sorry, but you may find this news a bit ruff.	1.3145	0.05293	124	93	23	8
1667	Fluffy would like the kibble, chew toys and the house in the Hamptons.	1.3145	0.05293	124	93	23	8
1668	And just wipe your ass right here.	1.3145	0.05168	124	92	25	7
1669	I got him during covid and now that we are back in the office, he likes to come to work with me. Where’s your dog?	1.3143	0.05631	105	78	21	6
1670	Well, you have to admit Fido here has a thicker résumé.	1.3143	0.05296	105	76	25	4
1671	If you continue to disregard my client's privacy,we will be forced to take further legal action.	1.3143	0.05466	105	77	23	5
1672	My client’s demands are simple. He gets the big house and an unlimited supply of steak. You get the kennel in the backyard.	1.3143	0.05948	105	80	17	8
1673	His demands are modest: half of the bed, most of the sofa, and daily belly rubs lasting at least 10 minutes. Oh, and full custody of all discarded peanut butter jars.	1.3143	0.04938	105	76	26	3
1674	Well this 'bitch' is taking everything.	1.3143	0.05631	105	78	21	6
1675	Where did you get the idea he wants a divorce? The core of this action is that he wants to know, with public notice in a newspaper of record, who's a good boy.	1.3140	0.06024	86	63	19	4
1676	Since he is AKC, he's interested in your pedigree.	1.3137	0.05908	102	77	18	7
1677	Sure I can explain. The fine print says "woof woof, bark bark bark, growl!"	1.3137	0.05210	102	73	26	3
1678	Should you sign this form you will be agreeing to pay a monthly alibony payment	1.3137	0.05742	102	76	20	6
1679	Just sign here and my client will agree to let you go back to the office once a week in exchange for extra treats.	1.3137	0.05393	102	74	24	4
1680	So by signing this you agree that he gets the house and all the food,and you get to keep the car and your laptop	1.3137	0.05210	102	73	26	3
1681	We're looking for a different pedigree.	1.3137	0.05020	102	72	28	2
1682	He says you need to sign the dog-eared pages.	1.3137	0.05742	102	76	20	6
1683	Yes, unfortunately, you only get the doghouse and Scotty here gets everything else.	1.3136	0.04918	118	85	29	4
1684	Pre-pups are pretty much standard procedure these days, Mr. Hodges.	1.3136	0.05064	118	86	27	5
1685	Consider these your walking papers.	1.3136	0.05205	118	87	25	6
1686	Now be a good boy and sign here.	1.3133	0.06397	83	62	16	5
1687	This contract Stipulates that this is a forever adoption not subject to discovery of a cure for Covid.	1.3133	0.06841	83	64	12	7
1688	He doesn't believe the cat was just a fling.	1.3133	0.06164	83	61	18	4
1689	Fido’s making you a very good offer to live on a nice farm in the country.	1.3131	0.05679	99	73	21	5
1690	He wants the dog house, the tree in the front yard, all the bushes, and the cat with a bell on it.	1.3130	0.05147	115	84	26	5
1691	This cease and desist letter says Snowflake loves “good girl, good girl” but not to the point of insincerity.	1.3130	0.05709	115	88	18	9
1692	I'm sorry to be finding against you, but as arbiter in this matter, I had to ask myself, "who's a good boy?"	1.3130	0.05841	115	89	16	10
1693	Your dog wants the whole back yard and requests you remove your front tire from the Buick. He marked that before you were in this relationship.	1.3130	0.05435	115	86	22	7
1694	And finally, halloween costumes are completely off the table.	1.3130	0.04976	131	97	27	7
1695	You'll get custody of the couch Monday thru Wednesday.	1.3125	0.05602	96	70	22	4
1696	At this meeting, my client will be addressed as Mr. Good Boy.	1.3125	0.06162	96	73	16	7
1697	And last but not least, there's a certain operation you'll have to undergo.	1.3125	0.05386	112	83	23	6
1698	And once a year, we celebrate our Take Your Master to Work Day. If you want to participate, please sign here.	1.3125	0.05234	112	82	25	5
1699	This states that Buddy does not admit to eating the shoe but he does not wish to contend the charge.	1.3125	0.05078	112	81	27	4
1700	We spell out all our terms---for obvious reasons.	1.3125	0.05981	96	72	18	6
1701	He wants you to sleep on the floor	1.3125	0.05602	96	70	22	4
1702	He's not going to just roll over.	1.3125	0.05602	96	70	22	4
1703	She’ll take half your assets but she’ll still be your best friend.	1.3125	0.05602	96	70	22	4
1704	I think you'll find this equitable. You get the meat and he gets the bones.	1.3125	0.05602	96	70	22	4
1705	The Dog says that the New Yorker’s jokes used to be a lot funnier.	1.3125	0.05817	112	86	17	9
1706	You can have the house but Mr. Fluffy insists on shared custody of the children.	1.3125	0.05234	112	82	25	5
1707	All we're asking for is a seat at the table.	1.3125	0.05533	112	84	21	7
1708	She hears what you’re saying, but only if there’s a treat involved	1.3120	0.05257	125	94	23	8
1709	And as per the terms of our agreement, you now must finally disclose the identity of the 'Good boy.'	1.3120	0.05005	125	92	27	6
1710	Until the agreement is signed, you, Sir, are in the doghouse.	1.3120	0.05257	125	94	23	8
1711	In signing this you agree to give unlimited belly scratches in perpetuity.	1.3119	0.05164	109	79	26	4
1712	Looks like you'll be the one sleeping in the dog house now.	1.3119	0.05636	109	82	20	7
1713	The plaintiff intends to file a Reckless Abandonment suit, but she's willing to settle out of court right now if you'll agree to never leave for work again.	1.3118	0.05716	93	68	21	4
1714	My client is willing to throw you a bone.	1.3118	0.05508	93	69	20	4
1715	His offer is final. You keep the leash. He keeps your left slipper.	1.3118	0.05917	93	69	19	5
1716	So you'll get your side of the bed Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays, and every other weekend.	1.3113	0.05744	106	80	19	7
1717	No, we’re not firing you, we’re simply sending you to our farm upstate.	1.3113	0.05423	106	78	23	5
1718	Rex wants you to sign a pre-pup agreement. Pretty standard language here.	1.3113	0.06049	106	82	15	9
1719	She says she’ll settle out of court, but she wants to see you beg.	1.3113	0.05423	106	78	23	5
1720	He wants full custody of the wife.	1.3111	0.06047	90	67	18	5
1721	He says he'll agree to your proposed settlement if you throw your slippers into the deal.	1.3111	0.05837	90	66	20	4
1722	With this settlement, my client drops his wrongful neutering case.	1.3109	0.05566	119	91	19	9
1723	I'm pleased that you are in agreement with my client in that your actions were bad. They were very, very bad.	1.3107	0.05858	103	78	18	7
1724	My client says you don’t have a leg to pee on.	1.3107	0.05524	103	76	22	5
1725	You've been SAYING he's such a good boy, and now its time to formalize it.	1.3107	0.05524	103	76	22	5
1726	In these types of cases, it is usually fortuitous to accept the plea bargain; “you get the house and he gets the wife”.	1.3107	0.05694	103	77	20	6
1727	I'm sorry but we've offered the position to Buddy.	1.3107	0.05858	103	78	18	7
1728	As a condition of the divorce my client is demanding unrestricted visitation rights to your front lawn and garden.	1.3107	0.05168	103	74	26	3
1729	My client demands that you sign this prenup.	1.3106	0.04825	132	97	29	6
1730	It was the scratching of the chest,the patting the rump and the nose to nose baby talk.	1.3106	0.04944	132	98	27	7
1731	Smell this.	1.3103	0.05395	116	87	22	7
1732	I assure you, my client’s bite is just as strong as his bark.	1.3103	0.05965	87	64	19	4
1733	Would you mind fetching these things	1.3103	0.05736	87	63	21	3
1734	This can all go away if you'll just sign this agreement stipulating my client's bite is, in fact, worse than her bark.	1.3103	0.05736	87	63	21	3
1735	Okay, that takes care of bowls and squeaky toys, let's move on to daily treats.	1.3103	0.06603	87	67	13	7
1736	In lieu of your pension package, the Chairman offers you his wife’s dog.	1.3103	0.05666	116	89	18	9
1737	Sign the dogdamn papers.	1.3103	0.05532	116	88	20	8
1738	And finally, my client insists that if you fall down a well, that you call her before Lassie.	1.3103	0.05250	87	61	25	1
1739	He’s tired of always being in the dog house	1.3101	0.04643	129	93	32	4
1740	Paw print, please.	1.3101	0.05138	129	97	24	8
1741	Yes. The NDA does cover this meeting.	1.3100	0.05631	100	74	21	5
1742	Just sign it, Mr. Williams. Don’t make my client play Ruff	1.3100	0.05449	100	73	23	4
1743	You obviously can sit. Talk to us more about your roll over....	1.3100	0.05631	100	74	21	5
1744	We’re going to have to let you go, Skip. You haven’t been a good boy.	1.3100	0.05260	100	72	25	3
1745	One more thing: Just add that you’ll text him ‘Good boy!’ several times a day and we’ve got a deal	1.3100	0.04861	100	75	21	4
1746	I'm sorry that we can't help, your FIDO score is too low.	1.3099	0.07118	71	54	12	5
1747	My client has a bone to pick with your latest proposal.	1.3097	0.05041	113	82	27	4
1748	On paper, he’s a certified good boy.	1.3095	0.04709	126	93	28	5
1749	And this states that my client and I neither confirm nor deny chasing your ambulance.	1.3095	0.04972	126	93	27	6
1750	Who's in the doghouse now!	1.3095	0.05861	84	61	20	3
1751	She's willing to drop the action if you'll agree to stop calling her "my bitch" to your friends.	1.3095	0.04972	126	93	27	6
1752	Please know, the dog voted to retain you.	1.3093	0.05554	97	71	22	4
1753	I thought that seven-year itch was just fleas”	1.3093	0.06280	97	75	14	8
1754	We would have hired you,but unfortunately Fido ate your resume.	1.3093	0.05744	97	72	20	5
1755	My client thinks you should have the Prius, the washer/dryer, and the vacuum, but he gets the downstairs toilet, the 4k tv, and the neighbor’s cat.	1.3093	0.05744	97	72	20	5
1756	He said I should give you your walking papers.	1.3093	0.05744	97	72	20	5
1757	Final offer, three bones a day and we act like this never happened.	1.3093	0.05554	97	71	22	4
1758	Scruffy has asked for a separation because, although HE’S been a good boy, apparently YOU have not.	1.3091	0.05285	110	81	24	5
1759	My client can go as low as five belly rubs and 12 "good boys" per day, in exchange for not chewing up your slippers. Do we have an agreement?	1.3091	0.05441	110	82	22	6
1760	How would YOU feel about just one meal per day?	1.3091	0.05592	110	83	20	7
1761	And with this one, you’re agreeing to take full custody of the cat.	1.3091	0.05592	110	83	20	7
1762	My client is filing for divorce on the grounds of "irretrievable differences".	1.3088	0.04841	136	101	28	7
1763	Henceforth, you agree that each and every throwing motion shall result in the actual release of a ball.	1.3086	0.06246	81	60	17	4
1764	He's willing to negotiate, just don't make him beg!	1.3085	0.05459	94	68	23	3
1765	Muffy gets the house. You can stay in the kennel and keep the car.	1.3085	0.05863	94	70	19	5
1766	My client says he's ready to go on the papers.	1.3085	0.06241	94	72	15	7
1767	Fluffy will be sitting in on our meeting today. He’s from Nonhuman Resources.	1.3085	0.06241	94	72	15	7
1768	Gigi keeps the house and furniture, but she agrees to give you your choice of up to five of the chew toys.	1.3084	0.05851	107	82	17	8
1769	We've drawn up a pre-pup agreement.... Raw wagyu steak at least twice a week; no tricks expected; approval rights over prospective girlfriends. The usual stuff.	1.3084	0.05379	107	79	23	5
1770	We need your feedback on the ruff draft.	1.3084	0.05541	107	80	21	6
1771	Your list of duties would include belly rubs.	1.3084	0.05698	107	81	19	7
1772	And this is for calling my client a 'bitch.'	1.3083	0.05131	120	89	25	6
1773	The name of our firm is Wilson and Coco, and yes, she is a partner.	1.3083	0.04850	120	90	25	5
1774	Your property is a block away from the largest dog park in the city. We are prepared to offer you a generous sum for your house. Go ahead, flip it over.	1.3083	0.05773	120	94	15	11
1775	You'll be allowed to see the kids every other weekend	1.3083	0.04912	133	99	27	7
1776	Okay now write down a number and my partner and I will discuss if that's enough treats or not.	1.3077	0.05479	104	77	22	5
1777	My client is asking for the Manhattan crate and the East Hampton crate.	1.3077	0.05073	117	86	26	5
1778	My client wants to know what part of "best friend" you didn't understand.	1.3077	0.06190	91	69	16	6
1779	After careful consideration of your credentials, we've decided to hire Rex instead.	1.3077	0.05990	91	68	18	5
1780	It's corporate policy, John. Your comment, "we work you like a dog" just won't be tolerated here.	1.3077	0.05647	104	78	20	6
1781	Make his tail wag.	1.3077	0.05567	91	66	22	3
1782	My client wants the beach house, as well as your socks and the dental floss in the garbage.	1.3077	0.05127	104	75	26	3
1783	Mr. Chips will settle provided he is ceded both the doghouse property and indoor chewing rights.	1.3077	0.05859	78	56	20	2
1784	It’s a dog eat dog world So we hired the dog instead of you	1.3077	0.05990	91	68	18	5
1785	My client demands expanded time in the park and a new Frisbee.	1.3077	0.05567	91	66	22	3
1786	I'm afraid your resume didn't pass our sniff test.	1.3077	0.05567	91	66	22	3
1787	And finally, to ensure you are sincere, he wants to sniff you.	1.3077	0.05104	130	98	24	8
1788	… and of course, the vacuum cleaner will be going with you.	1.3077	0.05647	104	78	20	6
1789	You can keep the house but my client wants your wife in return	1.3077	0.06122	104	81	14	9
1790	I should warn you that this settlement will be no walk in the park.	1.3077	0.04941	104	74	28	2
1791	All things considered he says you weren’t the one.	1.3071	0.05245	127	99	18	10
1792	The prepup reads: no compromising on treats, down feather counts, and appropriate petting.	1.3070	0.05305	114	85	23	6
1793	Fido picked the right pile with the coin under it. Now it’s your turn.	1.3070	0.05305	114	85	23	6
1794	As of the new year you will no longer be best friends.	1.3070	0.05449	114	86	21	7
1795	Finally, as part of this prepup, my client wishes it established from the beginning and in perpetuity that he is a good boy.	1.3069	0.05217	101	73	25	3
1796	I've translated your dog's statement. 'Bow wow, bow wow' means 'Epstein didn't kill himself'.	1.3069	0.05583	101	75	21	5
1797	Page 23, paragraph 4.2, Rufus says that the wording isn't strong enough. "woof" should be replaced with "Grrrrr".	1.3069	0.05758	101	76	19	6
1798	You’re too controlling. He’s filing to be emancipated.	1.3069	0.05758	101	76	19	6
1799	I'm sorry we decided to go with loyalty.	1.3069	0.05758	101	76	19	6
1800	And finally, a map of all fire hydrants in a mile radius of your house.	1.3069	0.05758	101	76	19	6
1801	We're asking for the Malibu dog house, the fine bone china, and 50% alimony payable in spray cheese.	1.3069	0.05583	101	75	21	5
1802	In short, Scout's taking a walk.	1.3068	0.06124	88	66	17	5
1803	While not admitting to shoving Timmy into the well, my client extends this offer to make this go away.	1.3068	0.05447	88	63	23	2
1804	This is a collaborative divorce, I'm sure you can agree on who gets your wife.	1.3068	0.06124	88	66	17	5
1805	Regardless of his wagging tail, I can assure you my client is very serious.	1.3068	0.05907	88	65	19	4
1806	Yes, well, these proceedings would never have become necessary if you had heeded my client's earnest and urgent pleas for more walkies.	1.3068	0.06537	88	68	13	7
1807	He’s willing to meet you halfway on the snuggling, but frankly the number of walks you’re offering is a non-starter.	1.3068	0.05682	88	64	21	3
1808	This waiver allows my dog free access to your pant leg.	1.3065	0.04882	124	91	28	5
1809	Sure it's a bare bones deal, but it's as good as it's going to get.	1.3063	0.05086	111	81	26	4
1810	It says here your name is Dave but my client thinks Freckles would be way cuter.	1.3063	0.05975	111	87	14	10
1811	This is our final offer: my client want's his stick back"	1.3063	0.05399	111	83	22	6
1812	She only has one demand: The bed.	1.3063	0.05548	111	84	20	7
1813	My client’s position is that he’s a co-founder, not a pet.	1.3061	0.05506	98	72	22	4
1814	Your paperwork looks fine. Now we'll see if you pass the sniff test.	1.3061	0.05694	98	73	20	5
1815	By signing this you are agreeing that he is, indeed, a good boy	1.3059	0.06268	85	64	16	5
1816	My client keeps the territory that he has marked, e.g., the house. You may keep the cat.	1.3059	0.05803	85	62	20	3
1817	You witheld agreed upon treats and repeatedly failed to fairly compensate my client, despite him being, by your own admission, a 'good boy'.	1.3059	0.06040	85	63	18	4
1818	Firme aquí, su compañero se encargará del resto".	1.3059	0.06268	85	64	16	5
1819	This separation agreement stipulates you still need to pick up my clients poop.	1.3058	0.05358	121	92	21	8
1820	Here's the deal: You keep the kibbles, Fluffy gets the bits.	1.3058	0.05095	121	90	25	6
1821	His water bowl must now have ice cubes in it at all times.	1.3056	0.05652	108	82	19	7
1822	His 14 million Instagram followers prefer Todd, the dog walker.	1.3056	0.07032	72	55	12	5
1823	On these points–my client is dogged.	1.3056	0.05337	108	80	23	5
1824	The contract divides the duties. You'll be the one carrying the bag.	1.3056	0.05172	108	79	25	4
1825	As you wished, you got the dog and she got the house and kids.	1.3056	0.07568	72	57	8	7
1826	We've prepared your pre-puptual.	1.3053	0.04584	131	97	29	5
1827	Paper training is mandatory.	1.3053	0.05200	95	68	25	2
1828	My therapy dog made the difficult decision to terminate your employment	1.3053	0.05614	95	70	21	4
1829	The cat has to go.	1.3053	0.05810	95	71	19	5
1830	I am the one advising you. Do not look over there.	1.3053	0.06000	95	72	17	6
1831	Submit a caption. Play to win.	1.3053	0.06362	95	74	13	8
1832	He wants the mansion and you can have the doghouse.	1.3053	0.05614	95	70	21	4
1833	Best friend,yes,but with conditions.	1.3053	0.04980	95	67	27	1
1834	As you’re about to find out, a dog is not man’s best friend.	1.3053	0.05810	95	71	19	5
1835	Nothing will happen to your carpet, so long as my client receives adequate treats	1.3051	0.05036	118	87	26	5
1836	This is a ruff outline of his demands.	1.3049	0.05933	82	60	19	3
1837	I'm sorry, Jim. But only Rusty successfully completed the mandatory corporate obedience training.	1.3049	0.06420	82	62	15	5
1838	He'll stay with you, but wants your wife's biscuits.	1.3049	0.06181	82	61	17	4
1839	Given you pretended to throw the ball, but didn't, my client is prepared to settle for two milk bones and four tennis balls	1.3048	0.05434	105	78	22	5
1840	My client Fido would like you to sign this pet-nuptial agreement before he can accept you as his human.	1.3048	0.05086	105	76	26	3
1841	And two walks on Sundays . . .	1.3048	0.05434	105	78	22	5
1842	Your puppy wants you to sign this prepuptual agreement	1.3047	0.04905	128	95	27	6
1843	As agreed. Spike keeps the bed, the couch, and the backyard, and you keep the chair, the pillow, and the front yard. Sign here.	1.3043	0.05296	92	66	24	2
1844	In addition to the no-neutering clause,he also requires one of those really cool collars with the spikes on it.	1.3043	0.05934	92	69	18	5
1845	My assistant is in the doghouse	1.3043	0.05624	92	70	17	5
1846	He'll take house and the car and says you can keep your 401K and and your little trophy cat.	1.3043	0.04967	115	84	27	4
1847	He says, “You can keep the cat but he wants the blue water bowl.”	1.3043	0.05265	115	86	23	6
1848	She wants full custody and puppy support.	1.3043	0.05729	92	68	20	4
1849	Well,here's your pink slip and a chance to meet our new V.P. who earns 1/10 of your salary.	1.3043	0.05044	115	87	22	6
1850	She's taking the puppies.	1.3043	0.06324	92	71	14	7
1851	Before we finalize the adoption, my client wants to tighten up the language about how you define a ‘good boy.’	1.3040	0.05108	125	94	24	7
1852	You can keep the house, but Mr. Waggles gets the kids	1.3039	0.05536	102	76	21	5
1853	Given the pandemic, my client would like a 'prepup'.	1.3039	0.05174	102	74	25	3
1854	Next time, bring your dog to the job interview too.	1.3038	0.07059	79	62	10	7
1855	My client wants visitation rights with the children on weekends in which he's a good boy.	1.3037	0.04962	135	102	25	8
1856	He wants you to change his name from Rover to Fred.	1.3036	0.05505	112	85	20	7
1857	But none of your references are canine.	1.3036	0.04886	112	81	28	3
1858	Sit. Stay. Roll over.	1.3036	0.04886	112	81	28	3
1859	Your severance contains a bonus for staying on to complete the training of Mr. Fluffykins.	1.3036	0.04886	112	81	28	3
1860	You can keep the house, but he wants your old slippers, his tennis ball, and the rug you wouldn't let him poop on.	1.3036	0.05205	112	83	24	5
1861	The question of who bit who will be answered in court, sir.	1.3036	0.05505	112	85	20	7
1862	My client is countering your offer to share east end of the couch with granting him exclusive rights to the lower three feet of the bed.	1.3036	0.05205	112	83	24	5
1863	Well then let me put this in a language you'll understand.	1.3034	0.05628	89	65	21	3
1864	It’s a pretty standard prepup.	1.3034	0.05397	89	64	23	2
1865	The one non-negotiable is that you get rid of the cat.	1.3034	0.05628	89	65	21	3
1866	Agreed. Henceforth my client will be known by the name Phydeaux	1.3034	0.06272	89	68	15	6
1867	You get the dog house. She gets the estate in the Hamptons, the Mercedes, and monthly alimony to be paid in tennis balls."	1.3034	0.06472	89	69	13	7
1868	And this is your standard leash agreement.	1.3033	0.05320	122	93	21	8
1869	She'll give you the dog house and leash but she wants all your tennis balls and the back yard.	1.3033	0.05059	122	91	25	6
1870	If Rover doesn't bark when you pick up the paper, you're hired.	1.3030	0.05824	99	75	18	6
1871	Please. Just write down your side of the story.	1.3030	0.05266	99	72	24	3
1872	My client is willing to accept an offer of the bowl, chew toy, bone and tennis ball as a sign of good faith....	1.3030	0.05459	99	73	22	4
1873	If you do better on this little quiz than Ralph here, the job’s yours.	1.3030	0.05644	99	74	20	5
1874	He forfeits the house but insists on visitation rights with your wife, kids and parents.	1.3030	0.05824	99	75	18	6
1875	She says the weekly grooming sessions are negotiable, but the dog house in the Catskills & the costume jewelry collar are deal breakers.	1.3028	0.05607	109	83	19	7
1876	…and in the event that you survive Brandy, she’d like you to have the shoes she’s buried in the back yard.	1.3028	0.05132	109	80	25	4
1877	It may seem ridiculous Mr Smith but it’s exactly as per the pre-nup that you signed; Hector gets the ride-on lawnmower.	1.3028	0.05453	109	82	21	6
1878	Well of course he’s a dog but he’s an incredible attorney. It’s a real T R E A T to work with him.	1.3028	0.05453	109	82	21	6
1879	Your visitation rights will require two trips to an off -leash dog park.	1.3026	0.06218	76	56	17	3
1880	My client is asking for visitation rights of the cat and ownership of the doghouse.	1.3026	0.06218	76	56	17	3
1881	My client alleges you misrepresented yourself as a dog on the internet.	1.3023	0.06204	86	65	16	5
1882	Promise to stop picking up the cat poop in the backyard and Rex will agree to settle.	1.3023	0.03749	129	101	24	4
1883	My client states you breached paragraph nine of your contract, “Dog park visit on Fridays”.	1.3023	0.04996	129	97	25	7
1884	He"ll agree to "being fixed" if you do"	1.3023	0.05980	86	64	18	4
1885	…and he wants tennis ballimony for life.	1.3023	0.05747	86	63	20	3
1886	In exchange for three nutritious meals a day and a minimum of two daily walks my client agrees to love you unconditionally and to not destroy any upholstery.	1.3021	0.05758	96	72	19	5
1887	Maybe you should have thought about that before bringing some random pussy into the home you shared together.	1.3021	0.05758	96	72	19	5
1888	We are sorry it has come to this, but you've missed Walkies two Thursdays in a row.	1.3021	0.05758	96	72	19	5
1889	You get the kids. Max gets the peanut butter.	1.3021	0.05946	96	73	17	6
1890	Thank you for accepting the job offer. Nobody else would have a Maltese dog as their employer.	1.3021	0.05758	96	72	19	5
1891	We're downsizing...Beth here from HR will walk you through next steps	1.3019	0.06020	106	83	14	9
1892	She will sign over her dog house in exchange for a lifetime of grooming, organic food and placement with a family that doesn't call her "old stinky"	1.3019	0.05869	106	82	16	8
1893	If you could just sign under the paw print.	1.3017	0.04931	116	85	27	4
1894	My client wants half of all household waste.	1.3015	0.05147	136	105	21	10
1895	Sign here or my client w-a-l-k’s.	1.3014	0.06668	73	55	14	4
1896	Also, we keep the cafeteria well stocked with treats.	1.3014	0.06668	73	55	14	4
1897	I'm sorry, but he has better papers.	1.3012	0.06353	83	63	15	5
1898	Sorry, but Spot here is a far more qualified candidate.	1.3012	0.06580	83	64	13	6
1899	It's a Pre-Pup agreement.	1.3011	0.06264	93	72	14	7
1900	Sorry Anderson, but here at Perfumes Are Us, turns out Rusty can indeed do your job better than you.	1.3011	0.06074	93	71	16	6
1901	My client is fully prepared to W-A-L-K.	1.3011	0.05467	93	68	22	3
1902	By signing here you agree that in the case of a separation, he gets all the socks.	1.3011	0.05677	93	69	20	4
1903	Don’t think of it as losing your job; think of it as a new stress-free, non-work environment.	1.3011	0.05879	93	70	18	5
1904	It's at least one walk a day, or the shoe tearing won't stop. This is quite a good deal.	1.3011	0.06074	93	71	16	6
1905	Just admit it was you who farted, and we can all move on with our lives.	1.3010	0.05490	103	77	21	5
1906	He says you can have the house,but he wants the yard.	1.3010	0.04943	103	74	27	2
1907	No, Mr. Andrews, my client does not agree that two meals a day is fair compensation.	1.3010	0.04747	103	73	29	1
1908	The last CEO left his dog in charge.	1.3010	0.05661	103	78	19	6
1909	She'll let you have the dog house.	1.3010	0.05314	103	76	23	4
1910	The final interview requires that you allow my client to conduct a sniff test.	1.3009	0.05316	113	85	22	6
1911	We have a bone to pick with your adoption offer.	1.3009	0.05010	113	83	26	4
1912	And while not a legal pad, this does allow your dog to conduct his business inside.	1.3000	0.05946	100	77	16	7
1913	Take your time and chew on it.	1.3000	0.06113	100	78	14	8
1914	He became aware of his rights from an "Animal Planet" marathon.	1.3000	0.05222	100	73	24	3
1915	Fido does not recognize his male identity and should therefore not be neutered	1.3000	0.05946	100	77	16	7
1916	Fifi will take the doghouse and the house in the Hamptons.	1.3000	0.05737	80	58	20	2
1917	I'm sorry Mr. Johnson, we will not be able hire you at this time. My colleague here thinks you are overqualified.	1.3000	0.05412	100	74	22	4
1918	All he wants is the bowl.	1.3000	0.06007	90	68	17	5
1919	No attorney's fee necessary. I'm representing your dog pro-Bone-o.	1.3000	0.05855	110	86	15	9
1920	Before we finalize the pet adoption, Ruff will want to see some financials.	1.3000	0.05104	120	90	24	6
1921	He gets Carol in the divorce.	1.3000	0.05108	90	64	25	1
1922	Me? No. You'll report to the dog.	1.3000	0.06409	90	70	13	7
1923	My client requests that you stop "pretending" to pick up his waste as it taints his image as a neighborhood "dog influencer".	1.3000	0.05093	110	81	25	4
1924	A most unusual custody battle, but one of you has to take her.	1.3000	0.06006	80	59	18	3
1925	Spot is just looking for an amicable separation after you started rationing the biscuits	1.3000	0.04965	120	89	26	5
1926	She’ll allow you two walks a day and conjugal visits on the weekend.	1.3000	0.04926	110	80	27	3
1927	Four walks a day and no more Cindy and her poodle.	1.3000	0.05222	100	73	24	3
1928	I'm sorry your offer is rejected, she requires a doggie door and three walks a day.	1.3000	0.06006	80	59	18	3
1929	He asked for HR to attend this meeting. Here are your walking papers.	1.3000	0.04965	120	89	26	5
1930	I think we can all agree we’re well past ‘who’s a good boy’.	1.3000	0.05575	90	66	21	3
1931	You two are the finalists.	1.3000	0.05946	100	77	16	7
1932	It's customary for the dog to get at least half the bed. Max just wants what's his.	1.3000	0.05517	70	51	18	1
1933	Four walks a day, unlimited treats, and he sleeps in the bed—that’s our final offer.	1.3000	0.05737	80	58	20	2
1934	She will keep the condo, you can remain in the doghouse	1.2992	0.04784	127	94	28	5
1935	I'm sorry, but he's cutting you out of his will.	1.2991	0.05007	107	78	26	3
1936	Scraps wants full custody of your leg.	1.2991	0.05429	107	83	17	7
1937	These papers will certify his desire to change his name from 'Eddie' to 'Lassie'	1.2991	0.05347	107	80	22	5
1938	My client says she wants half the house. You can keep the car - and the kennel.	1.2991	0.05180	107	79	24	4
1939	You have 24 hours to find your dogs testicles	1.2990	0.06072	97	75	15	7
1940	And this is the 'Non Defecation' clause.	1.2990	0.05112	97	70	25	2
1941	I'm sorry to inform you we will have to let you go. Our new Inclusivity Officer will be a cat.	1.2990	0.05707	97	73	19	5
1942	Now you write down the amount of kibble you think is fair.	1.2990	0.05707	97	73	19	5
1943	My client claims it was you that bit him while on your postal route.	1.2990	0.06072	97	75	15	7
1944	I’m sorry we’ve had to let you go. The good news is that we’ve hired Bruno here after he proved to be a Very Good Boy on all your Zoom calls.	1.2990	0.05707	97	73	19	5
1945	Is this the report my client allegedly ate?	1.2990	0.05892	97	74	17	6
1946	Of course she gets the dog house.	1.2989	0.05921	87	65	18	4
1947	We'll have to let you go. Her health insurance is cheaper, and she won't need family leave time	1.2989	0.05691	87	64	20	3
1948	And, if you're planning to ask, my client has already prepared a formal answer as to "Who's a good boy?"	1.2989	0.05200	87	62	24	1
1949	For consideration of a bottomless bowl of biscuits, Rover conveys to you a thirty-three percent interest in his YouTube channel revenue.	1.2989	0.06143	87	66	16	5
1950	The petitioner cites grounds for the divorce as respondent human coming home with the scent of other dogs on him.	1.2989	0.06143	87	66	16	5
1951	This is your Inventoris Custodes form. You agree that anything you drop in the floor is his.	1.2989	0.05691	87	64	20	3
1952	If you agree to ten belly rubs per day, he will agree to only destroy one shoe per month.	1.2989	0.05921	87	65	18	4
1953	Before we provide the offer letter, Mr. Fluffy needs the name and address of every feline acquaintance you've had over the past ten years.	1.2987	0.07175	77	61	9	7
1954	Sorry for the typo. That should say ‘embark’ on a new journey.	1.2984	0.04856	124	92	27	5
1955	My client proposes to share custody of the frisbee.	1.2984	0.04719	124	91	29	4
1956	But first, you have to pass the smell test.	1.2982	0.05276	114	86	22	6
1957	It's a pretty standard pre-pup with a non-restraining order.	1.2982	0.04973	114	84	26	4
1958	Hereafter he'll be known as the puppy of the first part.	1.2982	0.05700	114	89	16	9
1959	He says it’s because you’re such a good boy.	1.2981	0.04904	104	75	27	2
1960	She gets possession of the dog house and you keep the boat and the car .	1.2981	0.05271	104	77	23	4
1961	As his therapist,I need you to write that he is indeed a good dog.	1.2981	0.05445	104	78	21	5
1962	He has a few questions to test your lovalty.	1.2981	0.05614	104	79	19	6
1963	Affidavit? He ate it.	1.2981	0.05271	104	77	23	4
1964	Don't say I didn't tell you to sign a prenup.	1.2979	0.06205	94	73	14	7
1965	He will no longer respond to any demeaning demands, such as requiring him to wag his tail and come running when you call his name. And he especially objects to the annual roundworm exam.	1.2979	0.06018	94	72	16	6
1966	My client says that on the internet you claimed to be a dog.	1.2979	0.06205	94	73	14	7
1967	But you can keep the cat.	1.2979	0.05202	94	68	24	2
1968	You need to sign this pre-pup.	1.2979	0.05825	94	71	18	5
1969	The claim is that you were caught petting with the bitch next door	1.2979	0.05418	94	69	22	3
1970	And finally, your initials here certify that my client is indeed a good boy.	1.2979	0.04978	94	67	26	1
1971	He wants the house, the bed, and all your left shoes. Final offer.	1.2979	0.05625	94	70	20	4
1972	Dr. Fido will ask you questions now. Just nod your head for "Yes", shake your head for "No", and look straight ahead if you don't know.	1.2977	0.04623	131	99	26	6
1973	My client seeks to resolve the contested issue of ‘who rescued whom’.	1.2977	0.05048	131	100	23	8
1974	I think you'll find the list of commands quite reasonable.	1.2976	0.06055	84	63	17	4
1975	Just sign here. She gets the doghouse and you're free to get that younger dog.	1.2976	0.06287	84	64	15	5
1976	Pick up the paper but don’t show it to me. I will guess our salary offer.	1.2976	0.05813	84	62	19	3
1977	Here is your yearly review, I need you to work more like a dog in 2022.	1.2976	0.06055	84	63	17	4
1978	Off course he won’t settle, did you really expect him to roll over and play dead?	1.2976	0.06287	84	64	15	5
1979	These are the points we'll review in today's mediation, beginning with your choice to name him 'Trump.'	1.2976	0.06055	84	63	17	4
1980	And once you have completed the application form, you will allow my assistant to sniff your legs.	1.2975	0.05068	121	91	24	6
1981	Bad news. Dog bites man is not news. Dog suing man is..	1.2973	0.05368	111	84	21	6
1982	He doesn't care what the pre-adopt agreement says. Either cancel the spading appointment or prepare to replace all of your furniture and flooring!	1.2973	0.07130	74	58	10	6
1983	Now, where do you see yourself in dog years?	1.2973	0.05368	111	84	21	6
1984	Now, I know this plan might seem a little ruff...	1.2973	0.05368	111	84	21	6
1985	Here's his final offer: Arf woof arf arf grrrr."	1.2973	0.06002	74	54	18	2
1986	Now it’s your turn. Write an explanation for “bitcoin chews.	1.2970	0.05367	101	75	22	4
1987	You can sign this settlement, or try explaining to a jury the concept of anal gland expression.	1.2970	0.06060	101	79	14	8
1988	You are hereby granted right of first refusal to all morsels dropped on the floor.	1.2970	0.05179	101	74	24	3
1989	Can you tell me about a time when you were a good boy?	1.2970	0.04984	101	73	26	2
1990	My client, Mr. Digs, requires it in writing that there are to be no more commands, excluding “Come” when followed by the words “and eat!”	1.2970	0.06060	101	79	14	8
1991	Wolf of wall street: the sequel.	1.2970	0.05548	101	76	20	5
1992	Neither party shall disclose the location of any bones or bone like toys without prior written consent.	1.2970	0.05724	101	77	18	6
1993	He'd like half of your Instagram followers.	1.2970	0.05179	101	74	24	3
1994	We clearly have a leg up.	1.2970	0.05548	101	76	20	5
1995	I know it's ruff.	1.2969	0.04880	128	96	26	6
1996	Now, if you’ll just lift your leg and leave your mark.	1.2967	0.06151	91	70	15	6
1997	Custody is a Bitch	1.2967	0.06151	91	70	15	6
1998	As a signing bonus we can offer an annual supply of poop bags.	1.2967	0.05741	91	68	19	4
1999	And most important of all is your loyalty oath.	1.2967	0.05949	91	69	17	5
2000	Do you still say my client ate your home work?	1.2967	0.05524	91	67	21	3
2001	You sign or my client walkies.	1.2967	0.04555	91	68	21	2
2002	Why did you leave your previous owner?	1.2963	0.06197	81	61	16	4
2003	I believe you will find the settlement for your misplaced slipper quite equitable.	1.2963	0.05305	108	81	22	5
2004	No matter how foolish your suggestions, Rex will always give you a look that says, Wow, great idea!	1.2963	0.05305	108	81	22	5
2005	It's standard practice here at Fidelity	1.2963	0.05622	108	83	18	7
2006	This is a No Cat/No Crate clause	1.2963	0.05678	81	59	20	2
2007	You are now legally best friends.	1.2963	0.05305	108	81	22	5
2008	Plaintiff further claims emotional distress from discovering that it's not bacon.	1.2963	0.05773	108	84	16	8
2009	She says you may keep the leash, harness, and clippers...but the bowls and Bunny Wunny are non-negotiable...	1.2963	0.05678	81	59	20	2
2010	I see why you might be anxious - so let's call it 'snip' instead	1.2963	0.05622	108	83	18	7
2011	He know this is stressful, so, as a good faith offering, he’d like to throw you a bone	1.2963	0.06197	81	61	16	4
2012	So it's settled. The company, and your dog, have approved you again to work from home.	1.2963	0.06197	81	61	16	4
2013	Your dog has signed the separation agreement, now the ball is in your court!	1.2960	0.04687	125	92	29	4
2014	Unfortunately, we have decided to transfer you to a farm upstate.	1.2959	0.05657	98	74	19	5
2015	Sorry, the original copies were eaten.	1.2959	0.05840	98	75	17	6
2016	My client demands full custody of the yellow squeezie toy.	1.2959	0.05840	98	75	17	6
2017	Regarding that surgery you’re planning for him? This codicil requires that you go first.	1.2959	0.06017	98	76	15	7
2018	It's not a divorce, it's an emancipation. You can still be friends, just not best friends.	1.2959	0.06190	98	77	13	8
2019	He doesn’t want custody of your wife.	1.2959	0.06017	98	76	15	7
2020	He's my therapy dog for ethics.	1.2958	0.07062	71	55	11	5
2021	Chester is not negotiable as to who gets the chew toys.	1.2957	0.05089	115	86	24	5
2022	He refuses to do any new tricks	1.2955	0.06082	88	67	16	5
2023	We're looking for someone who can parse the phrase, Knick-Knack-Paddywhack give the dog a bone.	1.2955	0.05863	88	66	18	4
2024	He said: "You ate his work"	1.2955	0.06497	88	69	12	7
2025	If you agree with his terms just wag your head.	1.2951	0.05165	122	93	22	7
2026	By signing this NDA you agree that "Bad, bad doggie" was never uttered in his presence.	1.2947	0.06147	95	74	14	7
2027	He says you bit him	1.2947	0.06327	95	75	12	8
2028	Did you expect himto work pro bone-o?	1.2947	0.05962	95	73	16	6
2029	I advised against all of his concessions, but he still wants to be your good boy.	1.2947	0.05370	95	70	22	3
2030	You can keep the dog house; my client wants the condo.	1.2947	0.05370	95	70	22	3
2031	Write down your answer - he understands everything you say.	1.2947	0.06147	95	74	14	7
2032	Yes, he got the entire estate, including the dog house.	1.2946	0.05174	112	84	23	5
2033	Since you decline to vaccinate, my client is asking for the house. He is offering you his outdoor living space as part of this settlement.	1.2946	0.05016	112	83	25	4
2034	The pre-nup is quite clear; Noodle Doodle gets the house and the boat.	1.2946	0.04853	112	87	19	6
2035	Look, you're getting a deal. You get the dog and she gets the house.	1.2946	0.05327	112	85	21	6
2036	Now you write three nice things about Princess.	1.2946	0.04721	129	96	28	5
2037	Where's your dog???	1.2941	0.05755	85	63	19	3
2038	The terms are in dog years.	1.2941	0.05755	85	63	19	3
2039	Sign!	1.2941	0.05993	85	64	17	4
2040	Who's a good boy? I'm sorry Carl, you're not a good boy."	1.2941	0.05322	102	76	22	4
2041	And if you sign the contract today it means that you are a very very good boy.	1.2941	0.05501	102	77	20	5
2042	You get the wife twice a month.	1.2941	0.05136	102	75	24	3
2043	Get rid of the new girlfriend or he W A L Ks.	1.2941	0.05322	102	76	22	4
2044	Sign below the paw print. Good Boy!	1.2941	0.04971	119	89	25	5
2045	After your last job, this should be a walk in the park.	1.2941	0.05506	85	62	21	2
2046	We're keeping the dog house.	1.2941	0.05322	102	76	22	4
2047	And, as agreed, you reliquish rights to any and all future puppies.	1.2941	0.05113	119	90	23	6
2048	Consider yourself lucky. The bitch said to throw you a bone.	1.2941	0.05843	102	79	16	7
2049	My client insists the children will be better off if you only visit on alternate weekends and holidays.	1.2941	0.04109	119	91	24	4
2050	I think it says, "Your offer can't be serious."	1.2941	0.05246	85	61	23	1
2051	I recommend you take his counteroffer of two walks a day and sleeping on your bed.	1.2936	0.04843	109	82	23	4
2052	We will need references from Spot, Rover and Dixie to confirm length and timing of their walks.	1.2936	0.05263	109	82	22	5
2053	Our final demand: no more referring to my client as ‘good boy’ in company communications. It undermines his authority and is a violation of our DEI policy.	1.2936	0.05263	109	82	22	5
2054	This includes full custody of all bones buried in the yard.	1.2936	0.05263	109	82	22	5
2055	You really should have listened to me and gotten a pre-pup	1.2936	0.05422	109	83	20	6
2056	In my client's defense, you do have a very biteable face Mr. Jones.	1.2935	0.05893	92	70	17	5
2057	In the interest of keeping things amicable,my client proposes that he gets the house and you get the kids.	1.2935	0.05250	92	69	20	3
2058	Treats for life for NIL rights—sign it or his instagram influencer days are over.”	1.2935	0.05473	92	68	21	3
2059	He just wants the yard, dog walkers, his bowl and a limo he can chase."	1.2933	0.05623	75	54	20	1
2060	Sadie wants the split to be amicable. She gets all the rawhide chews & kibbles and you get all the veggies & fruits.	1.2933	0.06785	75	58	12	5
2061	Welcome to the doghouse. Payback's a bitch.	1.2933	0.07045	75	59	10	6
2062	We need you to sign a pre-pup.	1.2933	0.06231	75	56	16	3
2063	He says you’re now to be trusted off lead.	1.2931	0.04745	116	85	28	3
2064	Just sign here. It is agreed that he gets the house and you get the kennel.	1.2931	0.05269	116	91	17	8
2065	And this is the copy you can give him to chew up after he's moved in.	1.2931	0.05051	116	87	24	5
2066	As Dog is your witness . . .	1.2929	0.05607	99	75	19	5
2067	Well, assuming you're house trained and have all your shots, the job is yours!	1.2929	0.05420	99	74	21	4
2068	If you agree to my clients terms, bark twice	1.2929	0.05420	99	74	21	4
2069	It’s a standard Pre-Nip”	1.2927	0.05382	123	96	18	9
2070	It's official... You're no longer best friends.	1.2927	0.07046	82	66	8	8
2071	So, once you sign here, the leash will officially become null and void.	1.2927	0.06132	82	62	16	4
2072	Per my assistant, your memo topic is "Who's a Good Boy?"	1.2927	0.06605	82	64	12	6
2073	It's very simple. You follow Judge McRuff's order to remove my client's electric collar or you end up with an ankle bracelet of your own.	1.2927	0.05620	82	60	20	2
2074	My client finds your terms to be too "ruff."	1.2927	0.05620	82	60	20	2
2075	Whether you sign this or not, we’re walking.	1.2925	0.05356	106	80	21	5
2076	He offers you visiting rights to the human female three times a month plus Christmas. That's his final offer.	1.2925	0.05522	106	81	19	6
2077	Payback is a bitch!	1.2925	0.05522	106	81	19	6
2078	My client is willing to agree to joint custody of the chew toys.	1.2923	0.04429	130	95	32	3
2079	Sign here, initial these; you'll be neutered in the morning.	1.2921	0.05582	89	66	20	3
2080	Don't worry, he's paper trained.	1.2921	0.05104	89	64	24	1
2081	I realize you didn’t see this coming.	1.2921	0.06432	89	70	12	7
2082	My client doesn’t have a bone in this fight.	1.2921	0.05104	89	64	24	1
2083	...And you'll get the kids every other weekend. Any questions?	1.2921	0.05348	89	65	22	2
2084	You do realise the dog can do your job,right?	1.2921	0.05582	89	66	20	3
2085	I'll just need a John Hancock and a Rin Tin Tin.	1.2921	0.06432	89	70	12	7
2086	My client is suing for defamation of character, as he has ardently claimed it "wasn't him who got into the delicious garbage" and that you've tarnished his reputation of being a "good boy".	1.2921	0.05348	89	65	22	2
2087	Oh, and you can keep your lousy slippers!	1.2920	0.05433	113	87	19	7
2088	Here's your share of his kibbles and bits	1.2920	0.04978	113	84	25	4
2089	This is Lucky's Pre-pup.	1.2920	0.05286	113	86	21	6
2090	My client agrees you can keep the bed, but wishes to have the living room sofa.	1.2917	0.05322	96	71	22	3
2091	I'm sorry, but the can opener is a non-negotiable.	1.2917	0.05322	96	71	22	3
2092	Buster wants to end things amicably.”	1.2917	0.05719	96	73	18	5
2093	ITS A BITCH BUT YOU STILL HAVE TO COMPLETE THE APPLICATION	1.2917	0.04936	120	90	25	5
2094	Before he agrees to be your pet he wants to see your FICO score.	1.2917	0.05524	96	72	20	4
2095	I'm sorry, but you didn't go to an Ivy League obedience school.	1.2917	0.06390	72	54	15	3
2096	You get one weekend a month with the puppies, that's our final offer.	1.2917	0.04893	96	69	26	1
2097	My client,Fido,wants custody of his house and the larger one you kept mostly to yourself.	1.2917	0.05719	96	73	18	5
2098	He’ll be your best friend, but he will need these benefits; 401k, medical, paternity leave, 6 weeks vacation, and sick pay	1.2917	0.05322	96	71	22	3
2099	Look, Sam, she's throwing you a bone.	1.2917	0.05524	96	72	20	4
2100	All right. You get the steak he gets the bone.	1.2917	0.05112	96	70	24	2
2101	We kept the dog-eared copy.	1.2917	0.05524	96	72	20	4
2102	Thank you for your time,but our Instagram followers have unanimously decided that Scruffy is the better candidate for this position.	1.2917	0.05719	96	73	18	5
2103	...and you further agree to stop blaming the dog.	1.2913	0.05094	103	76	24	3
2104	My client is going public with what he’s seen unless you settle at four pieces of cheese.	1.2913	0.05455	103	78	20	5
2105	I suggest you accept these terms. If not, Scotty is prepared to play hard ball.	1.2913	0.05455	103	78	20	5
2106	Bitch gets the Porsche.	1.2911	0.06534	79	61	13	5
2107	Before he submits to petting or snuggling he must have assurances of daily treats, ball chasing, and walks past the house with the hot poodle.	1.2911	0.07013	79	63	9	7
2108	Miss Fluffy's settlement offer includes you fetching your own slippers and picking up your own sticks.	1.2911	0.06016	79	59	17	3
2109	You just took the videos, the Instagram is all her.	1.2909	0.05222	110	83	22	5
2110	In summary,my client wants you to “fess up” to your own farts.	1.2909	0.05532	110	85	18	7
2111	He will be keeping the treats earned during the course of your relationship.	1.2909	0.05222	110	83	22	5
2112	There can only be one top dog	1.2907	0.05698	86	64	19	3
2113	Jones, here's your pink slip. Mr Barker will be taking your place. We're confident our clients will like him more than you.	1.2907	0.05698	86	64	19	3
2114	We have some issues with the "Fetch" clause.	1.2907	0.05453	86	63	21	2
2115	He gets to keep the frisbees.	1.2906	0.05159	117	89	22	6
2116	He is willing to meet your terms on food and belly rubs, but the cat still has to go.	1.2903	0.05423	93	69	21	3
2117	It's a ruff decision.	1.2903	0.05838	93	71	17	5
2118	While you both scored high on intelligence and loyalty, I’m afraid Sparky has definitely beaten you on the “who’s a good boy?” metric.	1.2900	0.05738	100	77	17	6
2119	I’m so sorry, but your résumé suggested you were a Border Collie.	1.2900	0.05374	100	75	21	4
2120	We are citing irreconcilable differences. Please bark if you agree.	1.2900	0.05911	100	78	15	7
2121	my client wants YOU to beg.	1.2900	0.05738	100	77	17	6
2122	We’re taking fetch off the table.	1.2900	0.04777	100	72	27	1
2123	This is where you agree to give provide him with chew toys, toss the ball with him every day and tell him he’s a good boy. Sign here and the adoption contract is complete.	1.2900	0.04881	100	75	22	3
2124	My client,is NOT this mans best friend.	1.2900	0.05374	100	75	21	4
2125	... and right here it says we're not having any of that silly "fetch".	1.2900	0.05559	100	76	19	5
2126	Five percent of Spot's Instagram paid posts, is very fair.	1.2900	0.05183	100	74	23	3
2127	Describe the last time you've been both loyal and such a good boy.	1.2897	0.05635	107	83	17	7
2128	My client claims you have been sharing the bed with someone new.	1.2897	0.04970	107	79	25	3
2129	He'll bark less if you stop snoring.	1.2895	0.06706	76	59	12	5
2130	Your dog insists it's unconditional.	1.2895	0.05672	114	90	15	9
2131	I am sorry, but your parents left everything to Poochy	1.2895	0.06439	76	58	14	4
2132	Before he agrees to adoption, he wants a guarantee of only wet food and no shorter than a 20 foot leash.	1.2895	0.05246	114	87	21	6
2133	The first is a pretty standard pre-pup agreement. The second--a non-dogclosure agreement--is a little unusual.	1.2895	0.06706	76	59	12	5
2134	You can have the house in the Hampton's but she keeps private jet and the kibble.	1.2895	0.06160	76	57	16	3
2135	According to the boss, one of us is in the doghouse	1.2895	0.06439	76	58	14	4
2136	It's nothing personal. We're replacing you with a candidate that has unprecedented hearing skills.	1.2895	0.05392	114	88	19	7
2137	And the custody agreement for your wife-my client will have her at mealtimes, walkies, and every time he needs to get the tennis ball from under the couch	1.2895	0.05869	76	56	18	2
2138	My client has requested a clawback.”	1.2893	0.05434	121	95	17	9
2139	List your past employers, their breeds and owners.	1.2892	0.05563	83	61	20	2
2140	Take this IQ test. I'll compare your answers with Fido's.	1.2892	0.06534	83	65	12	6
2141	Before becoming VP of Who's A Good Boy, you have to tell us which stack of papers has the yummy underneath it.	1.2892	0.06970	83	67	8	8
2142	My client would like you to sign a prepup.	1.2892	0.05563	83	61	20	2
2143	he is suing you for alienation of affection	1.2892	0.05821	83	62	18	3
2144	Just sign here. It's all pretty standard -- give the dog a bone and this unpleasantness goes away.	1.2892	0.05821	83	62	18	3
2145	Due to your belief Trump is still president,we are concerned you do not have the requisite knowledge to do the job as well as our corporate mascot.	1.2892	0.06534	83	65	12	6
2146	Can you fetch?	1.2892	0.06306	83	64	14	5
2147	We feel peeing on the possession is nine-tenths of the law.	1.2892	0.06306	83	64	14	5
2148	This "work from home" thing has exceeded the time limit we set at our last meeting. He asks to be adopted by your ex. She leaves to go to work 5 days a week, serves better food and walks 3 times a day!	1.2892	0.05821	83	62	18	3
2149	My client has agreed that he will not chew up your sneakers if you agree to move out of the city. Do we have a deal?	1.2891	0.04854	128	97	25	6
2150	So here's the company security questionnaire, and then Jack here will sniff your crotch."	1.2889	0.05529	90	67	20	3
2151	Scruffy here says you have been a naughty boy and suggests you should work outside.	1.2889	0.05529	90	67	20	3
2152	So you admit your tee shirt indicating a preference for dogs was not the whole truth.	1.2889	0.05529	90	67	20	3
2153	We insist on a no-spay clause.	1.2889	0.05529	90	67	20	3
2154	You get to visit the pups twice a month.	1.2889	0.05415	90	69	17	4
2155	And you have to pass his sniff test.	1.2889	0.05529	90	67	20	3
2156	Your options are ‘beg’ or ‘roll over’.	1.2889	0.06369	90	71	12	7
2157	Please write an essay on why my dog thinks we should hire you.	1.2889	0.05751	90	68	18	4
2158	You both are being considered for our fetching position, which, I have to advise you, is very competitive,	1.2889	0.06170	90	70	14	6
2159	My client has extensive documented evidence for psychological abuse, including commands to play dead and forced wearing of a cone of shame.	1.2889	0.05751	90	68	18	4
2160	You understand, of course, he gets the house.	1.2889	0.05751	90	68	18	4
2161	My client saw you looking online to adopt a cat.	1.2889	0.05299	90	66	22	2
2162	My client is counting on you to keep him well fed-	1.2889	0.04933	90	67	21	2
2163	Some people have described our company as dog eat dog. What is your first impression?	1.2887	0.05475	97	73	20	4
2164	Section 3, Paragraph 2 expressly forbids your use of the word, 'pet' when in his company or in the company of human guests in the home. My client considers the word to be derogatory, patronizing, insulting, offensive and demeaning.	1.2887	0.05475	97	73	20	4
2165	I think we all know who has been a good boy and who has not.	1.2887	0.04625	97	69	28	0
2166	These papers annul the best friend agreement.	1.2887	0.05068	97	71	24	2
2167	This is the "No clipping his paws" clause.	1.2887	0.05276	97	72	22	3
2168	You can have the house, the car, and the cabin in the Berkshires. All he wants are the cat's litter box, your old shoes, and his balls back.	1.2887	0.06035	97	76	14	7
2169	He wants three walkies a day and the right to sleep on the bed, with or without the girlfriend.	1.2887	0.05855	97	75	16	6
2170	Sorry. He won't budge. He claims your ex feeds him much better than you do and her place is by the park.	1.2887	0.05276	97	72	22	3
2171	Rosco would like to renegotiate the terms of the adoption.	1.2887	0.05475	97	73	20	4
2172	Sign here to agree that my client will take the house while you will take the dog house and you get to keep the wife.	1.2885	0.05409	104	79	20	5
2173	…and if we can fetch your signature here…	1.2885	0.05234	104	78	22	4
2174	Take the offer or we'll bury you in court and/or the backyard.	1.2883	0.05635	111	87	16	8
2175	Here's the final decree based on denial of daily walks and other infidelities!	1.2883	0.05337	111	85	20	6
2176	My client wishes to dissolve his ownership contract. He has a number of other options.	1.2883	0.04938	111	85	21	5
2177	He says if you really love him you will let him go.	1.2881	0.05121	118	90	22	6
2178	He's offering you a woof over your head.	1.2881	0.05260	118	91	20	7
2179	Here are you petimony papers to sign.	1.2881	0.04977	118	89	24	5
2180	Irreconcilable differences...she wants to sniff other people.	1.2881	0.05396	118	92	18	8
2181	Instead of an interview, we check your IQ compared to the company dog .	1.2879	0.07406	66	52	9	5
2182	About this affidavit where you swear you didn't allegedly pet the neighbor's cat...	1.2875	0.05680	80	59	19	2
2183	My client is requesting you sign this NDA regarding any witnessed poop-eating incidents.	1.2875	0.05680	80	59	19	2
2184	As you see, we have diversified our staff.	1.2875	0.06212	80	61	15	4
2185	So, Mr. Smith, my client plans to sue you on the claim that when you threw the ball, your hand was actually, in fact, empty. We'll see you in court.	1.2875	0.06702	80	63	11	6
2186	This is a list of some of the things you'll have to be able to do if you're hired: sit, stay, fetch, rollover, shake hands, and a few more.	1.2874	0.05642	87	65	19	3
2187	I was hoping you might be willing to train your replacement.	1.2874	0.06097	87	67	15	5
2188	My client insisted that this case be handled pro bone.	1.2874	0.06097	87	67	15	5
2189	I'm representing him pro bono.	1.2874	0.05642	87	65	19	3
2190	You keep the house and he can stick his head out of the car window on the way home from the park.	1.2874	0.06097	87	67	15	5
2191	Just sign, “Arf” and we’re done here.	1.2874	0.05874	87	66	17	4
2192	My client asks you to omit the homework eating accusations.	1.2874	0.06097	87	67	15	5
2193	No pressure, MIT. But you’re up against AKC.	1.2872	0.05583	94	71	19	4
2194	The party of the first part would like the party of the second part to allow the party of the first part to stick his head fully out of the window while proceeding in the vehicle without regard to vehicle speed or weather conditions.	1.2872	0.05784	94	72	17	5
2195	I'm sorry but my client is not going to roll over on this.	1.2872	0.05583	94	71	19	4
2196	Nevertheless,the prepuptial agreement stands.	1.2872	0.05374	94	70	21	3
2197	My client has asked me to write a number representing the bags of Snausages he will require if you insist on naming him "Poochini."	1.2872	0.05784	94	72	17	5
2198	My client would like a statement from you! He's all ears!	1.2872	0.05583	94	71	19	4
2199	He wants the bed in the master suite.	1.2871	0.05328	101	76	21	4
2200	The company is strongly committed to diversity”	1.2871	0.05688	101	78	17	6
2201	He wants proof of your pedigree.	1.2871	0.05328	101	76	21	4
2202	My client is a free agent and has received an attractive offer from the Johnson's down the street. They're much more lenient about "people food".	1.2871	0.05328	101	76	21	4
2203	Bailey is suing you for custody of your wife.	1.2871	0.04943	101	74	25	2
2204	Given that you were witness to a recent incident involving Fido and your girlfriends leg, not to mention numerous incidences of urination and defecation, we are asking you to sign this NDA.	1.2871	0.05139	101	75	23	3
2205	He insists that you sign the "No Cats" clause before he agrees to be your family pet.	1.2871	0.05688	101	78	17	6
2206	You’d better sign. My client refuses to roll over.	1.2870	0.05589	108	84	17	7
2207	You'll be working from home, maybe appear in person once a month. But the dog is welcome here anytime.	1.2870	0.05271	108	82	21	5
2208	Yes he is vaccinated!	1.2870	0.05742	108	85	15	8
2209	This is a standard, legal, alpha dog contract recognizing better living conditions and submissive behavior on your part.	1.2868	0.05185	129	101	19	9
2210	My client wants sole custody of your wife.	1.2857	0.06629	77	60	12	5
2211	Buster will work for kibble. What are your salary requirements?	1.2857	0.06629	77	60	12	5
2212	His knowledge of leash laws is quite extensive; we'd like to see your essay on the same theme.	1.2857	0.05191	105	79	22	4
2213	Sorry your new year me	1.2857	0.05696	91	69	18	4
2214	Your paw print on the bottom line is all we require,	1.2857	0.04795	119	89	26	4
2215	The position is for narcotic detection not narcotic detective.	1.2857	0.05696	105	82	16	7
2216	If you know what's good for you, Mister Kopinski, you'll play ball.	1.2857	0.05230	98	73	22	3
2217	Despite your adversary’s whining, I actually think it’s a very fair settlement.	1.2857	0.04275	140	106	29	5
2218	Sit" is okay. "Roll over and play dead" is out	1.2857	0.05761	84	63	18	3
2219	Fluffy gets everything but the doghouse...you get the doghouse.	1.2857	0.05533	105	81	18	6
2220	It's a kick back Mr. Black, give the dog a loan.	1.2857	0.05618	98	75	18	5
2221	According to my client, the day you brought the cat home was one of many premeditated adulteries."	1.2857	0.05696	91	69	18	4
2222	This is a bit awkward. Normally two candidates don’t meet like this.	1.2857	0.05855	105	83	14	8
2223	let's see if you can learn new things.	1.2857	0.05477	91	68	20	3
2224	He'd like you to take the lead.	1.2857	0.05012	105	78	24	3
2225	I'm sorry, but you'll need separate representation.	1.2857	0.06005	84	64	16	4
2226	Mr. Snuffles is a certified notary.	1.2857	0.05507	84	62	20	2
2227	He wants all of the squeaky toys	1.2857	0.06239	84	65	14	5
2228	You can read Fido's memoir before its published, but he won't change a word of it.	1.2857	0.05365	105	80	20	5
2229	He can smell a rat.	1.2857	0.05906	91	70	16	5
2230	My client defends his actions of defecating on the rug, on the account that your entire place is a "Sh*t Hole".	1.2857	0.05477	91	68	20	3
2231	My client wants full custody of the tennis balls.	1.2857	0.05191	105	79	22	4
2232	My client would like it in writing that he’s a ‘good boy.’	1.2857	0.05025	98	72	24	2
2233	Your signature means "Hence-forth I have no other god than Buster."	1.2857	0.05365	105	80	20	5
2234	Don’t worry, we’ll still be best friends.	1.2857	0.06153	70	52	16	2
2235	He gets the house and, of course, the pickup.	1.2857	0.05761	84	63	18	3
2236	This appendix outlines my client's minimum net worth requirements, which are typical for a rescue of her breed.	1.2857	0.05141	112	85	22	5
2237	And because my client did not consent to being neutered, this is his settlement demand for pain and suffering.	1.2857	0.06239	84	65	14	5
2238	Yes the 2 best things about the job are that you can have your dog go to meetings for you and no one needs to wear pants.	1.2857	0.05146	126	98	20	8
2239	Before Buddy will agree to go home with you, he seeks your assurance that the cat sleeps outside.	1.2857	0.05240	84	61	22	1
2240	...so sign this and all his TikTok proceeds will got o you.	1.2857	0.05761	84	63	18	3
2241	Of course,we will expect you to learn to fetch and roll over After which we may consider you for regular employment	1.2857	0.05696	91	69	18	4
2242	As your fiancé, it's my duty to tell you our dog is demanding to be our joint best man; it's all here in paw-print!	1.2857	0.06110	91	71	14	6
2243	Sorry but the dog wrote a better essay on what it takes to be a good dog owner.	1.2857	0.05761	84	63	18	3
2244	Pookie will settle for a yak bone, legal costs, and a half-page ad in the Sunday paper in which you admit that it was you, not Pookie, who defecated on the neighbor's yard.	1.2857	0.06005	84	64	16	4
2245	All it says is "Ball" but he would still like you to sign it.	1.2857	0.06005	84	64	16	4
2246	My client suggests that he take the cabin and that you keep the dog house.	1.2857	0.05477	91	68	20	3
2247	I'm sorry Bill, but Rex just is a better employee, so we have to let you go.	1.2857	0.05507	84	62	20	2
2248	The terms stipulated here are exactly those to which you agreed in the prepup.	1.2857	0.05618	98	75	18	5
2249	He says you've been stealing his mail.	1.2857	0.05365	105	80	20	5
2250	How are you at doggerel?	1.2846	0.04663	130	98	27	5
2251	Do you feed squirrels or own a cat? If yes, please explain.	1.2845	0.05310	116	90	19	7
2252	I'm really sorry,but the dog has much better people skills.	1.2844	0.05229	109	83	21	5
2253	Before you sign, please understand that Fido would still like to "stay friends" . . .	1.2844	0.04893	109	81	25	3
2254	Yes, I know you said she can keep the dog, but apparently someone wants that in writing.	1.2844	0.05695	109	86	15	8
2255	Please list any prior experience in regards to throwing balls.	1.2844	0.04893	109	81	25	3
2256	She says she'll split the treats and chew toys 50-50, but she gets the house.	1.2844	0.04438	109	81	26	2
2257	He gets the house. You get the kids.	1.2843	0.05464	102	78	19	5
2258	My client demands the return of his testicles.	1.2843	0.05808	102	80	15	7
2259	And, finally, this is the Non-Neutering Agreement, which will remain in force as long as he is a good boy.	1.2843	0.05283	102	77	21	4
2260	My client requested pro bone-o.	1.2843	0.05639	102	79	17	6
2261	My client wants to ensure you will be meeting your regular walking obligations.	1.2843	0.05096	102	76	23	3
2262	We won’t get anywhere unless you give up the sofa.	1.2842	0.05325	95	71	21	3
2263	My client claims multiple incidences of unknown hair on your pants	1.2842	0.05111	95	70	23	2
2264	Scratch, sniff, and sign here.	1.2842	0.05532	95	72	19	4
2265	Of course, Skippy, we encourage our employees to bring their emotional support humans to work.	1.2841	0.05587	88	66	19	3
2266	He's senior counsel for the ASPCA. Deal with it!	1.2841	0.05587	88	66	19	3
2267	You have seen that the proposal has passed my client’s sniff test.	1.2841	0.05348	88	65	21	2
2268	My client says that this time he will not "roll over".	1.2841	0.06036	88	68	15	5
2269	He says he wants the wife and the kids. You can have the cats. Otherwise he's taking it to court.	1.2841	0.05816	88	67	17	4
2270	She says the rescue was forced.	1.2841	0.05587	88	66	19	3
2271	This concludes the arbitration. Buster will resume rolling over. In return, Buster gets to eat your slippers.	1.2840	0.05620	81	62	16	3
2272	My client is offering weekend walks in exchange for nightly belly rubs.	1.2840	0.05620	81	60	19	2
2273	I think you’ll find this offer worse than his bite.	1.2840	0.05339	81	59	21	1
2274	Again, my client says, 'woof!'	1.2840	0.06391	81	63	13	5
2275	If you dressed as well as your dog, you'd probably have a job by now.	1.2840	0.05889	81	61	17	3
2276	Sign here. If the dog barks you are toast"	1.2838	0.06241	74	56	15	3
2277	We agree that you can keep all shoes and socks, but we are keeping Sharon.	1.2838	0.05616	74	54	19	1
2278	I’m afraid my client isn’t willing to budge on the raw hide severance package.	1.2837	0.03674	141	110	26	5
2279	My client agrees to continue with the Wednesday walks as long as he doesn't have to wear a dog collar and shower afterwards, of course!	1.2833	0.05046	120	92	22	6
2280	Duke is very sorry and sadly has rejected your application as a adopter.	1.2833	0.04906	120	91	24	5
2281	So Fido gets the house, and you get the yard. Just sign here.	1.2833	0.04611	120	89	28	3
2282	He just seems more loyal than you.	1.2832	0.05102	113	86	22	5
2283	We don't do best friends	1.2830	0.05321	106	81	20	5
2284	You haven't played in ten years. We're pushing for full custody of the tennis balls.	1.2830	0.05149	106	80	22	4
2285	Do you know cursive?	1.2830	0.05321	106	81	20	5
2286	Let’s see if you pass the loyalty test.	1.2830	0.05149	106	80	22	4
2287	My client is requesting half of the kennel equity, and those items marked in urine.	1.2830	0.05648	106	83	16	7
2288	My client is prepared to settle for a belly rub.	1.2828	0.05380	99	75	20	4
2289	She wants the BarcaLounger.	1.2828	0.05750	99	77	16	6
2290	You can keep the house. But my client reserves the right to dig holes in the lawn whenever he likes.	1.2828	0.04771	99	72	26	1
2291	… and you are to provide food and water and agree to get neutered.	1.2828	0.05185	99	74	22	3
2292	He knows you shook on it ,but he wants it in writing!	1.2828	0.05380	99	75	20	4
2293	I've hired my dog Armando to conserve your trust	1.2828	0.05568	99	76	18	5
2294	I’m sorry. The new guy is just better at sniffing out new opportunities.	1.2828	0.05927	99	78	14	7
2295	He keeps the Laz-Z-Boy and the diamond collar, you get visiting rights to Miss Kitty and all the leftovers.	1.2826	0.05642	92	70	18	4
2296	This is our reply. Bear in mind it's just a ruff draft.	1.2826	0.05426	92	69	20	3
2297	As gender-neutral, they don't like you saying "Here boy."	1.2826	0.05642	92	70	18	4
2298	Sign this now or we'll be forced to bring the cat in for further testimony against you.	1.2826	0.05426	92	69	20	3
2299	My client claims custody of your heart.	1.2826	0.05642	92	70	18	4
2300	Your mother was a dog lover, so Rover will inherit all the multi-million dollar estate, while you and your cat will each get $500.	1.2826	0.05850	92	71	16	5
2301	Estate planning is just a little more complicated in dog years.	1.2824	0.04911	85	61	24	0
2302	Let's review the terms of the separation anxiety	1.2824	0.05452	85	63	20	2
2303	And he also wants his name used as a password only on very important websites	1.2824	0.06398	85	67	12	6
2304	Of course the divorce won't be final until you return my client's chewy toy and water bowl.	1.2824	0.05452	85	63	20	2
2305	My client would like full custody of the dog treats	1.2824	0.05944	85	65	16	4
2306	He knows it's a dog's life, so you agree that every time you tell him, again, 'It's a dog's life,' or 'It's the life of a dog,' or any equivalent reminder of his quote dogness close quote, he may bite your ankle with impunity.	1.2824	0.05703	85	64	18	3
2307	He wants the cat out by tomorrow.	1.2824	0.05703	85	64	18	3
2308	She will retain the main the house, garden and of course her old dog house.	1.2823	0.04799	124	94	25	5
2309	You can keep your bedroom, but the couch and backyard are hers.	1.2823	0.04138	124	92	30	2
2310	This next page waives your right to palimony.	1.2821	0.06024	78	59	16	3
2311	If you'll just sign here, Bruno says you can have the cat; he gets the rest.	1.2821	0.06554	78	61	12	5
2312	No. In this instance, we call it a PrePup	1.2821	0.04982	117	89	23	5
2313	...And she demands playing fetch a minimum of thrice daily.	1.2821	0.06024	78	59	16	3
2314	Bad contract! He wants you to roll it up and hit yourself in the face with it.	1.2821	0.06554	78	61	12	5
2315	I know you are just starting, but here is your resignation form.”	1.2821	0.06803	78	62	10	6
2316	Too late. You already shook on it	1.2818	0.05649	110	87	15	8
2317	Your “bad boy” vibes simply have no place in this company	1.2818	0.05024	110	83	23	4
2318	Don't worry. It's only a formality.	1.2818	0.05346	110	85	19	6
2319	She gets the dog house and the treats	1.2818	0.05024	110	83	23	4
2320	You can keep the house and the car, but the squeaky toes and stray socks are hers.	1.2812	0.05678	96	74	17	5
2321	This paper states that you cannot throw an invisible ball for him any more	1.2812	0.06231	96	77	11	8
2322	He's a dog,he doesn't need sensitivity training	1.2812	0.05482	96	73	19	4
2323	My client is willing to settle the case right now for more pats, belly rubs, and, I quote, "Who's a good boy?"	1.2812	0.05278	96	72	21	3
2324	Look at that subtle off-white colouring. The tasteful thickness of it. Oh my God, it even has a watermark.	1.2812	0.05581	96	76	14	6
2325	So. No more eating her kibble, ok?	1.2812	0.05678	96	74	17	5
2326	Please list 3 reasons why dogs make excellent executives.	1.2812	0.05066	96	71	23	2
2327	As a faithful companion, all these years, he feels entitled to half of everything.	1.2812	0.05482	96	73	19	4
2328	I'm afraid the least we will accept is 3 tummy rubs per day.	1.2812	0.05678	96	74	17	5
2329	If you concede to the enhanced walk schedule laid out in Appendix A, my client agrees not to ruin any more pairs of your slippers.	1.2812	0.05482	96	73	19	4
2330	My assistant here tells me that you did not scratch him behind the ears, and that you failed to give him a Christmas biscuit. What do you have to say for yourself?	1.2810	0.05010	121	93	22	6
2331	All she wants is the collection of old sneakers. You can keep the cat.	1.2809	0.05297	89	66	21	2
2332	Co-sign and the doghouse is his.	1.2809	0.05533	89	67	19	3
2333	By signing here, you relinquish all rights to his stud fees.	1.2809	0.05533	89	67	19	3
2334	My client maintains that, as a member of the household, he's entitled to do a bit of re-decorating.	1.2809	0.05977	89	69	15	5
2335	…going forward , my client would like all inquiries concerning who’s a good boy in writing	1.2809	0.05297	89	66	21	2
2336	He wants you to define "best."	1.2809	0.05759	89	68	17	4
2337	My client gets the house, the yard and custody of the dog walker. You can keep the leash, the flea comb and the cat.	1.2809	0.05759	89	68	17	4
2338	It's a puppy pre~nup	1.2809	0.05759	89	68	17	4
2339	By signing this, you agree never to own a dog who is smarter than you again.	1.2809	0.05759	89	68	17	4
2340	'This freedom of information request obligates you to disclose who is a good boy.'	1.2807	0.05214	114	88	20	6
2341	His only demand is that he retains the 'dog park friends' as his own.	1.2807	0.05063	114	87	22	5
2342	My client’s got a bone to pick with you!	1.2807	0.05361	114	89	18	7
2343	He’s not demanding an end to the relationship, just a paws.	1.2807	0.05063	114	89	19	6
2344	This explains your duties if Rover here picks you to be his dog walker, after he conducts the interview.	1.2805	0.06322	82	64	13	5
2345	He’s just not sure you are Master material….	1.2805	0.06322	82	64	13	5
2346	You can have my old office, the one with the fire hydrant.	1.2805	0.05285	82	60	21	1
2347	You chose Hank from the office as your best friend. Here's the compensation we're claiming.	1.2805	0.06322	82	64	13	5
2348	He's got a bone to pick with you.	1.2805	0.06556	82	65	11	6
2349	He can sense fear.	1.2805	0.06079	82	63	15	4
2350	It’s his final offer: walks on demand, steak for dinner and unlimited treats. Oh, and he sleeps where he wants	1.2805	0.05827	82	62	17	3
2351	My client argues that this operation will violate his reproductive rights.	1.2805	0.05827	82	62	17	3
2352	Well, do you want to be top dog in this company or not?	1.2804	0.05108	107	81	22	4
2353	My client would like full custody of any and all toys.	1.2804	0.05442	107	83	18	6
2354	It was close, but she clearly out performed you on the written.	1.2804	0.05277	107	82	20	5
2355	Rufus claims that you took your lunch out of the fridge and didn't give him a bite. Is that true?	1.2800	0.05333	100	76	20	4
2356	You always asked my client questions. Here are her answers and demands.	1.2800	0.04899	125	96	23	6
2357	Here, look at the ownership agreement. It clearly states no dry kibble.	1.2800	0.05519	100	77	18	5
2358	Your best friend insists you return to the office.	1.2800	0.06208	100	81	10	9
2359	Okay. I've just added the "help me find a girlfriend during park and beach walks" clause to your pet prenup.	1.2796	0.05376	93	70	20	3
2360	If he can have the frisbee collection, he’ll drop everything else.	1.2796	0.05376	93	70	20	3
2361	I know he was the one that cheated, but there's no way you're getting the dog house.	1.2796	0.05376	93	70	20	3
2362	He has agreed to let you keep the cat.	1.2796	0.05376	93	70	20	3
2363	He wants "You're a good boy" in writing.	1.2796	0.05590	93	71	18	4
2364	My client asks if you can throw him a bone and we'll get all this settled.	1.2796	0.05795	93	72	16	5
2365	She requests custody of the dogwalker.	1.2796	0.05154	93	69	22	2
2366	Sorry, we only employ blonds.	1.2796	0.05376	93	70	20	3
2367	This form releases my client from any and all claims, or as we like to say in the Industry, unleashes him.	1.2796	0.05993	93	73	14	6
2368	Further more my client insists that you sign this stipulation stating that he is 'a good boy, in fact, a very good boy'.	1.2796	0.06185	93	74	12	7
2369	I'm afraid this is our best and final offer. Spot wishes to remind you that you once referred to him as "The dimwitted urinator."	1.2796	0.05795	93	72	16	5
2370	We want you to give us the Stick account. And we won't let it go.	1.2794	0.04264	136	104	28	4
2371	Add one more daily belly rub, and you've got yourself a deal.	1.2793	0.04818	111	83	25	3
2372	To help me make up my mind, write a letter to my dog.	1.2793	0.05456	111	87	17	7
2373	It IS an unusual custody-sharing request.	1.2793	0.04985	111	84	23	4
2374	My client has requested that you return to your workplace immediately and stop talking to him as if he were your life coach	1.2793	0.05147	111	85	21	5
2375	It's a bitch, but someone's got to make the decision.	1.2793	0.04985	111	84	23	4
2376	I was initially skeptical of you bringing Snowball to the office. But now that he runs HR, he's decided you should stay home.	1.2791	0.06544	86	69	10	7
2377	The doghouse is non-negotiable.	1.2791	0.06111	86	67	14	5
2378	He’ll give up half his kibble if you agree to forfeit the leash.	1.2791	0.05139	86	63	22	1
2379	No, he gets the house, you get the kennel	1.2791	0.04919	129	100	22	7
2380	He's letting you keep the house, but he wants the couch.	1.2791	0.05398	86	64	20	2
2381	He says you've been a good boy. You get your raise.	1.2791	0.05646	86	65	18	3
2382	Fetching will be limited to week days, treats will be given without begging and no cats.	1.2791	0.06331	86	68	12	6
2383	So you want to play hardball? Then we have a deal.	1.2788	0.05870	104	83	13	8
2384	You'll notice the first requirement in your employment contract deals with the issue of doggie treats.	1.2788	0.05195	104	79	21	4
2385	Next time check with your state laws.	1.2788	0.05195	104	79	21	4
2386	None of my human boys were interested,so I’m handing over the firm to Floppy.	1.2788	0.05012	104	78	23	3
2387	No more baths, de-wormer pills, nail clipping, choke collars, or else.	1.2787	0.04396	122	90	30	2
2388	For the sterilization without consent with pain and suffering, that's $4 million, or a box of dog treats.	1.2785	0.05386	79	58	20	1
2389	My client is citing “communication difficulties” after 8 years, do you still need to ask “who’s a good girl?”	1.2785	0.06224	79	61	14	4
2390	My partner here has marked a spot for you.	1.2785	0.05820	79	62	13	4
2391	This could have been yours but Fido wanted it more.	1.2785	0.06224	79	61	14	4
2392	Mr. Sniffles finds your use of the phrase 'pre-puptial agreement' demeaning and dismissive. And he sees no reason why belly rubs should not be given on demand.	1.2785	0.06480	79	62	12	5
2393	He says, "You first."	1.2785	0.06224	79	61	14	4
2394	My client alleges your relationship is "friendly acquaintance" instead of "best friend."	1.2785	0.05958	79	60	16	3
2395	It says here he wants his balls back	1.2785	0.05679	79	59	18	2
2396	Max has filed for emancipation, here are your papers.	1.2784	0.04574	97	75	19	3
2397	I am sorry we have to let you go. This is just a cost cutting measure we are making since we found out Rover can fetch faster than you and for dog treats.	1.2784	0.05627	97	75	17	5
2398	What did you expect? She's a shitsue	1.2784	0.05815	97	76	15	6
2399	You get the puppies,she gets the house.	1.2784	0.05815	97	76	15	6
2400	Rufus has named you Executor for his will. You will fetch, beg, and play dead at his command.	1.2784	0.05997	97	77	13	7
2401	My client’s expectations to satisfy the term ‘man’s best friend’ ”	1.2784	0.05022	97	72	23	2
2402	My client wants you to sign a Prepuptial Agreement.	1.2784	0.05433	97	74	19	4
2403	You are both qualified candidates but we decided to go with Spot. His loyalty speaks for itself.	1.2784	0.05627	97	75	17	5
2404	You’d be barking mad not to sign	1.2784	0.05433	97	74	19	4
2405	He'd like you to go on the paper.	1.2783	0.05461	115	91	16	8
2406	You removed his balls without consent,sir. I recommend you settle now before it goes to curt.	1.2783	0.05319	115	90	18	7
2407	This one says you have to give three “good boy”s per day minimum	1.2778	0.05235	108	83	20	5
2408	Rest assured, we are a people friendly company.	1.2778	0.05709	108	86	14	8
2409	He wants to be "edogcipated" from you. His words...	1.2778	0.05247	90	67	21	2
2410	My client is asking for use of the dog house on weekends, all of the red doggy sweaters, and the puppies to be raised Jewish.	1.2778	0.05918	90	70	15	5
2411	He just wants contractual assurance that you will remain his best friend as well.	1.2778	0.05918	90	70	15	5
2412	You may keep the dress shoes but he retains chewing rights.	1.2778	0.05918	90	70	15	5
2413	Here’s a ruff draft of your divorce settlement.	1.2778	0.05004	90	66	23	1
2414	In return for being a good boy, yes he is, you promise not to stop and talk with Ellen Schultz and her annoying Pomeranian.	1.2778	0.05703	90	69	17	4
2415	When he wags we have a deal.	1.2778	0.06324	72	55	14	3
2416	Alfred is sorry but the vegan "bone" was the last straw.	1.2778	0.06126	90	71	13	6
2417	Hey, I'm sorry George, we have to let you go. We're turning your accounts over to our new senior partner, Milo. It really is a dog eat dog world now.	1.2778	0.06326	90	72	11	7
2418	Some advice. When he negotiates, don't assume his bark is worse than his bite	1.2778	0.05480	90	68	19	3
2419	He knew your wife first	1.2772	0.05472	101	78	18	5
2420	By signing this the party of the first part attests that my client is indeed a good boy.	1.2772	0.05472	101	78	18	5
2421	One walk per day, two on the weekends. Final offer.	1.2772	0.05288	101	77	20	4
2422	Now all we need is the last ten years of tax returns, 5 personal references, and a $500 check for administrative fees and your pet rescue will be complete.	1.2772	0.05288	101	77	20	4
2423	She's asking for sole physical custody of the couch, the frisbee, and Bella the cat.	1.2772	0.05097	101	76	22	3
2424	Let’s not make this a pissing contest because we all know who will win that.	1.2771	0.06485	83	66	11	6
2425	It was in the contract you couldn't touch another dog, sir	1.2771	0.06015	83	64	15	4
2426	Required Paw Print Please	1.2771	0.06255	83	65	13	5
2427	Our new hire was recommended by the diversity officer	1.2771	0.06015	83	64	15	4
2428	He wants a codicil added regarding his food preferences.	1.2771	0.05505	83	62	19	2
2429	So we agree you will still be sleeping in the same bed.	1.2769	0.06395	65	51	11	3
2430	It's a dog-eat-dog world, and we're hungry.	1.2769	0.07108	65	51	10	4
2431	How would you characterize the smell of your crotch?	1.2769	0.07438	65	52	8	5
2432	And my client would like it to be known and stated for the record that he is indeed a good boy.	1.2768	0.05107	112	86	21	5
2433	I hope we can agree with this settlement that your needs during lockdown for companionship were no less important than those of my client.	1.2768	0.04781	112	84	25	3
2434	You will tell my client that he’s a good boy or we are prepared to walk	1.2768	0.04781	112	84	25	3
2435	My client has become accustomed to a certain lifestyle. We're asking for alimony paid in the form of 15 bones per week.	1.2766	0.04879	94	69	24	1
2436	My client demands longer walks and better treats.	1.2766	0.05741	94	73	16	5
2437	Fido has made his bones by engaging in ruff negotiations.	1.2766	0.05741	94	73	16	5
2438	I'm sorry I can't renew your lease, this place is going to the dogs.	1.2766	0.05741	94	73	16	5
2439	Buster wants the payment to be made in Dogecoin.	1.2766	0.05327	94	71	20	3
2440	Here's the deal: Fido gets the house plus a monthly allowance for kibble and treats. You get the cat.	1.2766	0.05741	94	73	16	5
2441	Sir, my client is suing for reasons cited under "Ruff Circumstances".	1.2766	0.05538	94	72	18	4
2442	Visitation rights for each of the puppies has to be handled separately	1.2766	0.05108	94	70	22	2
2443	My client formerly known as “Fluffy” shall henceforth be named Mister Bigglesworth.	1.2766	0.05936	94	74	14	6
2444	The bite was consensual.	1.2766	0.06489	94	77	8	9
2445	He says he is ready to sue, after he saw you going to the bathroom in the house	1.2766	0.05538	94	72	18	4
2446	She’s a labradoodle. Prenups are standard.	1.2766	0.06310	94	76	10	8
2447	He's agreed to no longer beg at the table.	1.2766	0.05741	94	73	16	5
2448	On the basis of mental cruelty, incessant Faux Noise on the telly.	1.2764	0.04802	123	94	24	5
2449	You get to visit the pups on alternate weekends.	1.2763	0.05803	76	57	17	2
2450	You'll need to sign the leash agreement before we can transfer ownership of Scotty to you.	1.2763	0.06379	76	59	13	4
2451	My client says you can keep the cat.	1.2763	0.05803	76	57	17	2
2452	This is pretty straightforward. You’ll both sign, then smell each other’s butt.	1.2763	0.06649	76	60	11	5
2453	This is our final offer. You can keep the wife and I will get the house.	1.2762	0.05327	105	81	19	5
2454	My client has agreed to relinquish the dog house if she can keep the puppies.	1.2762	0.05496	105	82	17	6
2455	It's not too late for you to bow-wow-t of this agreement.	1.2762	0.05496	105	82	17	6
2456	Please review my client's exercise demands; otherwise, we are prepared to walk.	1.2759	0.04987	116	89	22	5
2457	He wants to make no bones about this.	1.2759	0.04513	116	86	28	2
2458	You may keep the dog house.	1.2759	0.05590	87	66	18	3
2459	He’d like three meals a day, not two.	1.2759	0.05135	116	90	20	6
2460	She gets all of your old golf shoes.	1.2759	0.04834	116	88	24	4
2461	Yes, she's in the running. Is that a problem?	1.2759	0.05824	87	67	16	4
2462	Furthermore, my client, Mr. Snuggles contends that he IS a good boy and not the bad boy you accuse him of being.	1.2759	0.05824	87	67	16	4
2463	He didn't bark at your offer	1.2759	0.05590	87	66	18	3
2464	If you're okay with wet food once a day, I think we have an agreement.	1.2755	0.05577	98	76	17	5
2465	My client will agree to a settlement that includes 2 belly rubs and treat every hour. And no more vet visits, final offer.	1.2755	0.05186	98	74	21	3
2466	The location of seven pairs of previously unacknowledged lost socks.	1.2755	0.05577	98	76	17	5
2467	Fido gets the house, you get the kennel	1.2755	0.05577	98	76	17	5
2468	Rusty has hired me to represent him in a harassment case claiming that, on Thursday, January 4th, you ruefully observed that the city was “going to the dogs!”	1.2755	0.05762	98	77	15	6
2469	You get to feed, walk and otherwise care for him for the rest of his life. He gets the house.	1.2755	0.04979	98	73	23	2
2470	This clause says the dog dish can never be empty. It's a non- dish closure clause.	1.2755	0.05385	98	75	19	4
2471	So it says here my client gets the BarcaLounger, the pause button on all the remotes, and that big book of puns he likes to chew on when he’s nervous.	1.2755	0.05577	98	76	17	5
2472	Mr. Bowser here has requested a lump sum payment of all the biscuits.	1.2755	0.05385	98	75	19	4
2473	So, Alpha gets top billing and 5 percent of the net. Are we good?	1.2755	0.05186	98	74	21	3
2474	You agree not to aggravate him; and he agrees not to eat your steaks.	1.2752	0.04855	109	82	24	3
2475	I have to say this is my first corporate mediation involving belly scratches	1.2752	0.05193	109	84	20	5
2476	I think you are a good fit for the position. But the dog says no.	1.2752	0.05193	109	84	20	5
2477	He wants the couch and your old shoe.	1.2750	0.05893	80	61	16	3
2478	Everything looks good so far. But he demands every potential walker provide DNA, references and a pre-hire belly scratch....	1.2750	0.06156	80	62	14	4
2479	He wants out of his leash.	1.2750	0.06156	80	62	14	4
2480	In order to work for my client,you will have to take a scratch and sniff test.	1.2750	0.05893	80	61	16	3
2481	As part of the settlement, you agree to no longer refer to my client as “a bitch.”	1.2750	0.05016	120	93	21	6
2482	As you can see, he is paper trained.	1.2750	0.06156	80	62	14	4
2483	He just wants to be sure you don't disclose the location of the bones to other dogs.	1.2750	0.04874	120	92	23	5
2484	Your papers are impressive to be sure,but I'm afraid my client is looking for someone with a more dignified posture and classic coat.	1.2750	0.05893	80	61	16	3
2485	Fido brought his homework. What's your excuse?	1.2748	0.04605	131	100	26	5
2486	And here are Muffin's demands.	1.2747	0.05861	91	71	15	5
2487	My client is seeking a formal declaration of your loyalty.	1.2747	0.04958	91	67	23	1
2488	It seems we have agreement on everything but who gets the kids	1.2747	0.05649	91	70	17	4
2489	. . . and the Punitive Damages (Psychic) Section requires that you be neutered at the same veteraniary clinic where he was forced to endure that barbaric procedure.	1.2747	0.05861	91	71	15	5
2490	My client will sign the contract only if the words 'master' and 'pet' are replaced by the term 'fellow mammal'.	1.2747	0.05198	91	68	21	2
2491	She wants sole custoday.	1.2747	0.05428	91	69	19	3
2492	Keep in mind this is only a ruff draft.	1.2747	0.05649	91	70	17	4
2493	This wouldn’t have been necessary if you had let me get up on the couch.	1.2747	0.05861	91	71	15	5
2494	If nothing else, you should understand one thing: his bite is bigger than his bark.	1.2747	0.05428	91	69	19	3
2495	Now, this is your copy of the leash agreement.	1.2747	0.04958	91	67	23	1
2496	These are his demands…I took the liberty of having them translated	1.2745	0.05242	102	78	20	4
2497	Final offer on the Roommate Agreement. If my client sleeps in a crate, you sleep in a crate.	1.2745	0.05601	102	80	16	6
2498	He's a sniffler for details.	1.2745	0.05424	102	79	18	5
2499	You get joint custody of the liter	1.2743	0.04575	113	86	24	3
2500	First and foremost, I demand loyalty.	1.2743	0.05221	113	88	19	6
2501	He demands your wife on alternate weekends.	1.2743	0.05370	113	89	17	7
2502	My client sees this as an opportunity to help you dress better	1.2738	0.06416	84	67	11	6
2503	Just a standard pre-puptual agreement.	1.2738	0.06189	84	66	13	5
2504	Sorry, the dog beat you out on our unbias IQ Test.	1.2738	0.05449	84	63	19	2
2505	You agreed to give your dog the tennis ball in the divorce but when he looked for it he saw you still had it behind your back.	1.2738	0.06189	84	66	13	5
2506	This is a list of dates, times, and places you slanderously blamed him for your farts.	1.2738	0.06416	84	67	11	6
2507	I'm afraid he gets the house.	1.2738	0.05952	84	65	15	4
2508	He wants a pre-pup agreement.	1.2738	0.04895	84	61	23	0
2509	Citing the case of Brittany Spears, Spot is seeking to be emancipated from your control and to be solely responsible for his trusted brand across social media platforms.	1.2738	0.05706	84	64	17	3
2510	I think you understand how much we prize loyalty at this firm.	1.2738	0.05706	84	64	17	3
2511	In clause 10 you promise not to call him a son of a bitch.	1.2738	0.06189	84	66	13	5
2512	Can you confirm this is you and the cat napping together in the presence of Mr Fluffy?	1.2738	0.05706	84	64	17	3
2513	We're going nowhere as long as you insist on using "barking up the wrong tree" to counter her demands.	1.2738	0.05706	84	64	17	3
2514	My client would like their leash to be terminated	1.2738	0.05179	84	62	21	1
2515	The Thumbless one requests your signature so he can receive his inheritance.	1.2737	0.05487	95	73	18	4
2516	My client is prepared to offer you six biscuits.	1.2737	0.05487	95	73	18	4
2517	I'm afraid he insists on your hand-print.	1.2737	0.05487	95	73	18	4
2518	The settlement may seem harsh but you do have use of his dog house each summer.	1.2737	0.05062	95	71	22	2
2519	I said pet agree not pedigree!	1.2737	0.05062	95	71	22	2
2520	He says "you keep the cat, he gets the cat food!"	1.2737	0.05687	95	74	16	5
2521	She insists on getting The Dog House.	1.2737	0.04836	95	70	24	1
2522	Before we finalize the adoption, he asks that you agree to cease your investigation into the origins of his cuteness.	1.2737	0.05588	95	76	13	6
2523	Given your actions, my client is giving you two options: "roll over" or "play dead."	1.2737	0.05487	95	73	18	4
2524	In regard to your vet appointment next week, my client would like to remind you there is an ironclad reciprocity clause attached to the "Neutering" section of your contract	1.2737	0.06250	95	77	10	8
2525	As your wife’s executor I hate to inform you she left everything to the dog.Here is his more than generous settlement.	1.2736	0.05283	106	82	19	5
2526	And this is his Canine Power of Attorney.......	1.2735	0.05096	117	91	20	6
2527	My client has grown accustomed to a certain lifestyle but this can all go away if you just continue working remote.	1.2727	0.06029	77	59	15	3
2528	Keep the house. She just wants the bacon.	1.2727	0.05140	99	75	21	3
2529	For this week's New Yorker contest, I want you to draw me with my dog, asking you to draw this week's New Yorker contest.	1.2727	0.05988	88	69	14	5
2530	Last question. Scruffy wants to know, if we offer you this job, will be a good boy?	1.2727	0.05337	99	76	19	4
2531	I prefer candidates who know enough to wear neckwear to a job interview.	1.2727	0.05337	99	76	19	4
2532	Now we want to know YOUR take on our dog food!	1.2727	0.05535	88	67	18	3
2533	You get the wife but he gets the bed and the kibble!	1.2727	0.05988	88	69	14	5
2534	My client agrees to bark less in exchange for more treats.	1.2727	0.05766	88	68	16	4
2535	Feel Fortunate. All he wants is the doggie bed.	1.2727	0.05988	88	69	14	5
2536	Careful . He’s a rough rough negotiator.	1.2727	0.05294	88	66	20	2
2537	I assume you don't mind working for a dog . . . ?	1.2727	0.05151	110	85	20	5
2538	He thought the wanted ad said investment barker.	1.2727	0.05535	88	67	18	3
2539	Thanks for your application, but you still have to pass the sniff test.	1.2727	0.05337	99	76	19	4
2540	My client requests joint custody of the couch	1.2727	0.05433	77	57	19	1
2541	He insists you get half of everything.	1.2727	0.05311	110	86	18	6
2542	The only bone of contention is that he gets the dog house	1.2727	0.04987	110	84	22	4
2543	You agree to allow the division of all soft assets and the removal of their stuffing.	1.2727	0.05710	99	78	15	6
2544	My client wants three walks a day and unlimited kibble in exchange for being a good boy.	1.2727	0.05311	110	86	18	6
2545	Let’s try and not quibble over kibble, shall we?	1.2727	0.05535	88	67	18	3
2546	Well, it looks like my client will see you in court.	1.2727	0.06306	77	60	13	4
2547	Sorry we can't hire you, Joey. You just don't pass the smell test.	1.2727	0.05294	88	66	20	2
2548	That’s the best deal you’re going to get - no bones about it.	1.2727	0.04936	99	74	23	2
2549	It's just a short questionnaire. Once you're done, my colleague here will give it the sniff test.	1.2727	0.05766	88	68	16	4
2550	I'm afraid you're in the dog house.	1.2727	0.05151	110	85	20	5
2551	Even though he is suing you, he still your best friend	1.2727	0.05140	99	75	21	3
2552	My clients says if you think you are retaining the movie rights to this you are barking up the wrong tree.	1.2727	0.05294	88	66	20	2
2553	By signing this, you acknowledge that my client is not admitting to any wrongdoing.	1.2727	0.04264	99	76	21	2
2554	This new job will be a walk in the park for you.	1.2727	0.05535	88	67	18	3
2555	And here's the final addendum to your "return to the office" agreement stating that Rover is entitled to compensation for pain & suffering caused by separation anxiety and loss of companionship.	1.2727	0.05337	99	76	19	4
2556	Don’t look so glum. Go out and find yourself a cute cat.	1.2727	0.06029	77	59	15	3
2557	He wants the woman, the chair, and all the squeaky toys.	1.2727	0.05535	88	67	18	3
2558	I'm afraid this is going to be a ruff divorce.	1.2727	0.05888	99	79	13	7
2559	Do you take PayPal?	1.2727	0.05988	88	69	14	5
2560	Just sign here to agree that he's not a bad boy, he's a good boy.	1.2727	0.04775	88	64	24	0
2561	You're doing the right thing, Bob. Human-to-dog kidney transplants are the future.	1.2727	0.06827	77	62	9	6
2562	As I'm sure you now realize, domestication was your first mistake.	1.2727	0.05337	99	76	19	4
2563	On this piece of paper is all your dog could write.	1.2718	0.05552	103	81	16	6
2564	He has a license, but he's not a notary.	1.2718	0.05378	103	80	18	5
2565	Try not to see yourself as a “pandemic person.” Now that she’s back at work, she just doesn’t have the time and energy for you anymore.	1.2717	0.05595	92	71	17	4
2566	He wants to review the snip clause.	1.2717	0.05377	92	70	19	3
2567	Duke gets custody of your ex, but you may visit on alternate weekends.	1.2717	0.04913	92	68	23	1
2568	My client is giving you two weeks notice to move out at which time he will take full ownership of the apartment according to the conditions of your mother's will.	1.2717	0.06007	92	73	13	6
2569	Don't be so intransigent. Throw us a bone!	1.2717	0.05150	92	69	21	2
2570	This is what happens when you don't insist on a prepuptial agreement.	1.2717	0.05377	92	70	19	3
2571	Relax, he's a therapy dog	1.2717	0.05377	92	70	19	3
2572	As a cat person, sir, you're not the right fit for our firm."	1.2716	0.06337	81	64	12	5
2573	You can keep the doghouse. She just wants out.	1.2716	0.06089	81	63	14	4
2574	Welcome to the team. Fido will be your supervisor.	1.2716	0.05830	81	62	16	3
2575	Fido wants a divorce!	1.2716	0.06089	81	63	14	4
2576	In the words of my client, "the bad man knows what he did."	1.2716	0.06337	81	64	12	5
2577	You scratch his back, he’ll scratch yours.	1.2716	0.04973	81	59	22	0
2578	He gets the main house. You get the dog house.	1.2716	0.06089	81	63	14	4
2579	He wants the beach house. Yes, he does. Oh, yes he does. Oh, yessy wezzy fuzzy wuzzy wokky wooky wes he does.	1.2716	0.06089	81	63	14	4
2580	He agrees to everything else, but insists on real hamburger in the bowl.	1.2710	0.05069	107	82	21	4
2581	We don’t want to rub your nose in this. My client requests the bed, bones, and balls.	1.2710	0.05240	107	83	19	5
2582	Sorry, but you just don't pass the sniff test	1.2710	0.04517	107	79	27	1
2583	Once you sign, she agrees to be your best friend.	1.2708	0.05231	96	73	20	3
2584	Spunky here will now conduct a brief drug sniff.	1.2708	0.05437	96	74	18	4
2585	The divorce is now complete. Please sign this agreement to pay both alimony and puppy support.	1.2708	0.05231	96	73	20	3
2586	In agreeing to become your dog, Scruffy has asked for a six-year deal with a mutual buyout option after five years, and a no-kennel clause.	1.2708	0.04794	96	71	24	1
2587	After you have have read this, we hope you will agree that you have not been a good boy.	1.2708	0.05017	96	72	22	2
2588	He thinks “best friend” is misleading since he’s your only friend.	1.2708	0.05635	96	75	16	5
2589	Half of the kibble is all she’s asking for.	1.2708	0.05635	96	75	16	5
2590	Now the final thing: who gets the wife?	1.2708	0.05635	96	75	16	5
2591	The contract clearly states, "All bark and some bite".	1.2708	0.05437	96	74	18	4
2592	My client's sexual needs are being ignored.	1.2706	0.05891	85	66	15	4
2593	Twice daily scratchies behind the ears to be administered with an enthusiastic 'Good Dog', biscuits before bedtime, and the car rear window halfway open on all trips with my client. It's our final offer.	1.2706	0.05394	85	64	19	2
2594	My client is offering joint custody of the puppies.	1.2706	0.05394	85	64	19	2
2595	My client only wants what's fair and rightfully his ... the doghouse, of course, the sheepskin slipper he buried in the backyard, and the oak tree he peed against in good faith for the entirety of your relationship.	1.2706	0.05394	85	64	19	2
2596	He has a quibble over kibble.	1.2706	0.06348	85	68	11	6
2597	And he retains the rights to his image as well as all anecdotes involving himself.	1.2706	0.05891	85	66	15	4
2598	My client requires enough income to keep him in food, treats, toys, and veterinary care for the rest of his life.	1.2706	0.05648	85	65	17	3
2599	As a counteroffer, you get the tennis balls for holidays.	1.2706	0.05891	85	66	15	4
2600	You can visit the one-legged Teddy Bear every other weekend.	1.2706	0.05891	85	66	15	4
2601	He didn’t mark them with his initials, but they are definitely marked.	1.2706	0.05891	85	66	15	4
2602	My client needs your signature to verify that he is a very good boy.	1.2706	0.06124	85	67	13	5
2603	He'd like you to pee on this to 'quote' Know how it feels 'end quote'	1.2706	0.05394	85	64	19	2
2604	He said he wants a different owner. He said you don't feed him on time.	1.2706	0.05891	85	66	15	4
2605	Please sign here,next to the “woof”.	1.2706	0.06124	85	67	13	5
2606	If you call this “getting my walking papers” one more time…	1.2706	0.06124	85	67	13	5
2607	Yes the pre-pup agreement is quite clear…she gets the knick-knacks, the paddy whacks and the bone.	1.2703	0.05716	111	90	12	9
2608	Man's best friend says, it's in your best interest.	1.2703	0.04605	111	83	26	2
2609	I’m shocked Bob. Nobody expected the jury to come back for Brutus in a wrongful neuter case.	1.2703	0.06467	74	58	12	4
2610	My client believes he is entitled to custody of your leg for two weekends a month.	1.2703	0.05867	74	56	16	2
2611	He gets your house. You get his.	1.2703	0.05111	111	86	20	5
2612	Yes, I'm his lawyer. He says he will go home with you, if you agree to one can per day of his favorite dog food -- no dry stuff.	1.2703	0.05111	111	86	20	5
2613	Good boy! Time for a treat!	1.2703	0.04605	111	83	26	2
2614	He just doesn't want to be left in the doghouse if you split up.	1.2703	0.04779	111	84	24	3
2615	These are the terms; I guess she's not your best friend.	1.2700	0.05096	100	76	21	3
2616	Now you write something about him.	1.2700	0.05478	100	78	17	5
2617	Before we proceed, I’ll need proof that both of you have been vaccinated.	1.2700	0.05291	100	77	19	4
2618	And do you hereby affirm who's a good boy?	1.2700	0.05096	100	76	21	3
2619	He says he wants a dedicated poo collector when you're gone in this will.	1.2700	0.04230	100	77	21	2
2620	no, you’re right— technically that term is accurate. but my client objects to your tone.	1.2700	0.05096	100	76	21	3
2621	My client is willing to settle for a box of Milk Bones."	1.2700	0.05096	100	76	21	3
2622	We’ve chosen Buddy for CFO, we think you have a lot to offer and we hope you will consider the dog-walker position.	1.2700	0.06006	100	81	11	8
2623	I assume you have reached a conclusion about who will have rights to the couch?	1.2700	0.04683	100	74	25	1
2624	OK, in the unfortunate case of a breakup of this relationship, the dog gets the arm chair in the den, all its toys including your old brown slippers, and free roaming of the yard on weekends".	1.2698	0.04835	126	98	22	6
2625	Before we get started,please sign that you understand my client is off-leash for this discussion.	1.2697	0.05709	89	69	16	4
2626	You keep the cat and Princess here keeps the house.	1.2697	0.05709	89	69	16	4
2627	The separation agreement will require you provide her with half of your tennis balls.	1.2697	0.05709	89	69	16	4
2628	It’s a little thing he calls the sniff test. Take a whiff and rate it on on a butt scale.	1.2697	0.05929	89	70	14	5
2629	Okay, Bill, I feel bad about this, but I have to let one you go. Ralph here has written down what he’ll do for the company this year. On this piece of paper, why don’t you write down what you’ll do?	1.2697	0.05481	89	68	18	3
2630	...a concierge veterinarian and no more boarding.	1.2697	0.05709	89	69	16	4
2631	Oops, the pen is for you.	1.2697	0.05243	89	67	20	2
2632	She agrees to wave the pre-pup.	1.2697	0.05709	89	69	16	4
2633	It's a thirty-year leash.	1.2697	0.05709	89	69	16	4
2634	Your chances are pretty good. His resume was kinda ruff.	1.2697	0.06140	89	71	12	6
2635	The settlement will be 10 cases of Alpo a month.	1.2697	0.05243	89	67	20	2
2636	Perhaps a few more “Good Boys” and we would never have reached this point.	1.2697	0.05481	89	68	18	3
2637	His terms are ruff, but fair.	1.2697	0.05929	89	70	14	5
2638	Ain’t no rule says a dog can’t be a hedge fund manager.	1.2692	0.05676	78	59	17	2
2639	Mr. Wooffels is here to make sure you are a good boy.	1.2692	0.04970	104	79	22	3
2640	You're a loyal employee, just not as loyal as Bingo.	1.2692	0.05333	104	81	18	5
2641	With the symbolic removal of the collar the divorce will be final - similar to when your wife took off her ring. Parenthetically, may I suggest you smarten up?	1.2692	0.05505	104	82	16	6
2642	My client insists on holding onto the slippers.	1.2692	0.05374	78	58	19	1
2643	Prepuptual agreement.	1.2692	0.05505	104	82	16	6
2644	I am sorry but Rusty gets the job as he has better hand writing and does not need spell check when writing a memo.	1.2692	0.05676	78	59	17	2
2645	My client agrees to this NDA in exchange for unlimited belly rubs and walkies.	1.2692	0.05374	78	58	19	1
2646	Please write down all the times you told him he was "a good boy."	1.2692	0.06496	78	62	11	5
2647	My client will give you the kennel if you agree to give him the treats.	1.2692	0.05333	104	81	18	5
2648	Just pretend you're signing. He doesn't read well.	1.2692	0.04579	104	77	26	1
2649	Don't focus on the little issues. Focus on the big issues like who gets the couch.	1.2689	0.04575	119	90	26	3
2650	I believe you will find our counter offer of 10 fetches a day most agreeable.	1.2689	0.04877	119	92	22	5
2651	He thinks you dressed too casually for the interview.	1.2688	0.05949	93	74	13	6
2652	This document secures him as your best friend.	1.2688	0.05542	93	72	17	4
2653	Roll over" and "play dead" are in, with appropriate bonuses; "sit" and "stay" are deal breakers	1.2688	0.05749	93	73	15	5
2654	If you can answer the question, Who's a Good Dog?, then you'll make it to the final interview.	1.2688	0.05749	93	73	15	5
2655	This is a binding legal agreement. The cat goes or he goes.	1.2688	0.05542	93	72	17	4
2656	I have good news and bad news. We are hiring your dog, but that makes you redundant.	1.2688	0.05542	93	72	17	4
2657	My client is claiming emotional distress from your return to the office but is willing to settle with the condition that you never leave him again	1.2688	0.05542	93	72	17	4
2658	The doghouse is a very reasonable demand	1.2688	0.04868	93	69	23	1
2659	Now you tell me your side of the story.	1.2688	0.05542	93	72	17	4
2660	Aand... now who's owned?	1.2688	0.05327	93	71	19	3
2661	She only wants half of your salary and the Malibu doghouse.	1.2688	0.05542	93	72	17	4
2662	Pretending to throw the tennis ball was a breech of contract, Biscuits is pressing charges	1.2688	0.05327	93	71	19	3
2663	He wants enough money to eat only steak for the rest of his life, and the country house	1.2688	0.05749	93	73	15	5
2664	My client is requesting the house, but is happy to let YOU have the crate.	1.2688	0.05327	93	71	19	3
2665	She said she wants all of the bones you hid in the freezer and all of the toys you hid in the closet. Oh….and she wants you to wear the shock collar and she gets the remote control.	1.2688	0.05103	93	70	21	2
2666	My client insists that you take the cat.	1.2688	0.05327	93	71	19	3
2667	My client agrees to the separation, but we believes he is entitled to ownership of the canine domicile located in your back yard.	1.2687	0.06918	67	53	10	4
2668	He claims you violated his Title K9 rights	1.2683	0.05501	82	62	18	2
2669	It's amicable then. He keeps the dog house, but you have to move out.	1.2683	0.05501	82	62	18	2
2670	Please sign this contract, promising you will always come back after leaving for work	1.2683	0.06023	82	64	14	4
2671	and if you could stick around after this your cat … Squiggums McGregor … has filed a separate brief	1.2683	0.06504	82	66	10	6
2672	Just initial here and here and then sign here to indicate your agreement that my client has been a very, very good boy.	1.2683	0.05220	82	61	20	1
2673	It's a loyalty oath.	1.2683	0.05501	82	62	18	2
2674	She wants a lifetime supply of premium dog food, and the car she's been chasing all these years".	1.2683	0.06268	82	65	12	5
2675	My client is asking for compensation for the 3,365 walks you didn't take him on. He wants the house in the country to live out his days with your ex.	1.2683	0.05501	82	62	18	2
2676	My client insists that you continue working from home.	1.2683	0.05768	82	63	16	3
2677	Never mind the dog. At least you’ll be in a cubicle and not a kennel.	1.2680	0.04973	97	73	22	2
2678	Well, you see, my client has received the short end of the stick before and is simply looking to protect himself.”	1.2680	0.05388	97	75	18	4
2679	Please review this pre-puptual agreement.	1.2680	0.05584	97	76	16	5
2680	Look, if you want to know where the bones are buried, you're going to have to give him the house.	1.2680	0.05584	97	76	16	5
2681	You’re in the dog house now.	1.2680	0.05584	97	76	16	5
2682	Fido wants you to know he is sorry about this pink slip, but it is a dog eat dog world.	1.2680	0.05773	97	77	14	6
2683	Rover says if you expect him to crap on this before the walkie, just to save you embarrassment, think again, pal....	1.2680	0.05185	97	74	20	3
2684	Is it 'Bad Dog' or 'Good Boy'? Either way, my client would like it in writing.	1.2680	0.05388	97	75	18	4
2685	..and this one you are agreeing to three walks a day.	1.2680	0.05388	97	75	18	4
2686	It's a dog eat dog world, and you need to adapt to that Bob.	1.2680	0.04864	97	75	19	3
2687	He is willing to negotiate on several points but insists that you strike revenge peeing from the record.	1.2680	0.05584	97	76	16	5
2688	Dinner table begging will stop, but you'll need to "accidentally" drop cheese on the floor. Final offer.	1.2680	0.05185	97	74	20	3
2689	This is our final offer. My client will not accept any fewer treats.	1.2679	0.04570	112	84	26	2
2690	It doesn't translate well, but basically she says you're a good boy but you should not stay.	1.2674	0.06060	86	68	13	5
2691	He insists on a background check before you take him for a walk.	1.2674	0.05591	86	66	17	3
2692	If you just sign here, this fine Schnauzer, R McNutt, will give you a home, Mr Mann.	1.2674	0.05830	86	67	15	4
2693	I can see it's been a while since you adopted a pet.	1.2674	0.06282	86	69	11	6
2694	He's more bark than bite. That's why he hired me.	1.2674	0.05830	86	67	15	4
2695	You can keep the house as long as she can keep the doghouse.	1.2674	0.05591	86	66	17	3
2696	I repeat he does not want the damn cat!	1.2674	0.05341	86	65	19	2
2697	Without prejudice to either party's rights under the settlement agreement, Patches would like you to sign this declaration stating that he is, in fact, "a good boy."	1.2674	0.05830	86	67	15	4
2698	Your dog votes you out.	1.2674	0.06496	86	70	9	7
2699	My client is willing to settle,as soon as you acknowledge you bit him.	1.2674	0.05830	86	67	15	4
2700	And lastly, while my client admits no guilt, we'll need you to sign this NDA to settle the alleged leg-humping issue.	1.2674	0.05591	86	66	17	3
2701	And now it's your turn to write down what you appreciate about Rex.	1.2674	0.06060	86	68	13	5
2702	Get rid of the cat and he'll stay.	1.2673	0.05052	101	77	21	3
2703	You make no admission of liability, but you acknowledge that he's a good boy.	1.2673	0.05783	101	81	13	7
2704	I'm only here to translate.	1.2673	0.05245	101	78	19	4
2705	My client says you can keep the doghouse.	1.2673	0.04852	101	76	23	2
2706	Your copy - you can just bark at the X.	1.2673	0.05430	101	79	17	5
2707	Here’s the address of the cat. Make it quick.	1.2673	0.05430	101	79	17	5
2708	Baxter needs you to sign this NDA.	1.2673	0.05245	101	78	19	4
2709	My client will settle at 3 walks a day, all access to the sofa and that pricey duck/turkey/salmon blend you bought that one time he was sick.	1.2673	0.05430	101	79	17	5
2710	Et Tu, Boomer?	1.2672	0.04798	116	89	23	4
2711	Your COVID pet contract requires that you work from home, bake banana bread treats, and retain ownership even after the pandemic is over.	1.2672	0.05101	116	91	19	6
2712	He's here to sniff out the best applicant.	1.2667	0.05653	90	70	16	4
2713	My client requires that you sign a prepuptial agreement which outlines your responsibilities of providing adequate snacks, belly rubs, engaging toys, gourmet meals, play, car rides, and an uninterrupted lifestyle in the event of your untimely death.	1.2667	0.05653	90	70	16	4
2714	You've been with other dogs. Stop denying it, I can smell it on you.	1.2667	0.05428	90	69	18	3
2715	He's filing for reconcilable differences.	1.2667	0.05112	105	81	20	4
2716	Fine. He will throw you a bone.	1.2667	0.05193	90	68	20	2
2717	His terms are reasonable: he keeps the big house and you can have the dog house.	1.2667	0.05653	90	70	16	4
2718	Don’t deny it. We have photos of you walking a Corgi!	1.2667	0.05428	90	69	18	3
2719	I'm afraid your loyalty doesn't quite meet our standards.	1.2667	0.05799	75	57	16	2
2720	My client affirms his position that he does not know who the good boy is.	1.2667	0.05458	105	83	16	6
2721	We believe it's an equitable split. My client will settle for the backyard, and you may keep the house.	1.2667	0.04740	105	79	24	2
2722	Sir, it's all there in gray and white.	1.2667	0.05428	90	69	18	3
2723	Last but not least, he does not handle pressure very well so please look away when he defecates.	1.2667	0.05288	105	82	18	5
2724	Don’t worry, it’s just a standard pre-pup agreement.	1.2667	0.05480	75	56	18	1
2725	This is Lucky. He is going to be assisting you until the labor market picks up.	1.2667	0.05653	90	70	16	4
2726	We object to your use of the word 'doghouse' as a pejorative.	1.2667	0.04947	90	67	22	1
2727	He’s prepared to stop peeing on the rug if you’re prepared to improve on the raw vegetable diet.	1.2667	0.05480	75	56	18	1
2728	He wants the rights to his Instagram account.	1.2667	0.06391	75	59	12	4
2729	We wish to legalize that his bark is worse than his bite	1.2667	0.05112	105	81	20	4
2730	Sure it is doggerel but it is legal doggerel.	1.2667	0.05624	105	84	14	7
2731	Buffy wants the name and address of the upstate farm you talked to your children about sending him to.	1.2667	0.05653	90	70	16	4
2732	He’s taking the air miles.	1.2667	0.05021	105	83	17	5
2733	Now, if you'll just sign this prenuptial agreement, you'll be able to start a career in our mail room tomorrow morning..	1.2661	0.02830	124	100	21	3
2734	My client seeks reparations for your having moved from the suburbs.	1.2661	0.04988	109	84	21	4
2735	HR is your best friend in this company.	1.2660	0.05278	94	72	19	3
2736	He's demanding custody of the can opener.	1.2660	0.05490	94	73	17	4
2737	Sorry, your resume doesn't include obedience school.	1.2660	0.05278	94	72	19	3
2738	This is a restraining order from Fido. You have restrained him enough, now it is his turn.	1.2660	0.05278	94	72	19	3
2739	I wanted you to train your replacement.	1.2660	0.05490	94	73	17	4
2740	Now for the smell test.	1.2660	0.04825	94	70	23	1
2741	Even though you’re separating, it doesn’t mean he still can’t be your best friend.	1.2660	0.05278	94	72	19	3
2742	Throw us a bone and take the settlement.	1.2660	0.05056	94	71	21	2
2743	This is his final offer. You get the remote but he gets the couch.	1.2660	0.05695	94	74	15	5
2744	I’m here to mediate not to judge. Let talk through Max’s claim to half the Tesla.	1.2660	0.05278	94	72	19	3
2745	I'm sorry, but she wants to keep the house.	1.2660	0.05056	94	71	21	2
2746	Common law says Bailey gets half!	1.2660	0.05278	94	72	19	3
2747	This is a list of do's and don'ts when you are out taking "Chairman" the dog for a walk.	1.2658	0.05896	79	61	15	3
2748	This injunction stipulates you will never again eat bacon without sharing with my client Mr. Boots.	1.2658	0.05896	79	61	15	3
2749	"We are sorry, but your license has expired.	1.2658	0.05614	79	60	17	2
2750	Adoption papers identify his preferred food, biscuits, walking schedule, and favorite veterinarian.	1.2655	0.05031	113	88	20	5
2751	She begs your pardon, but you did promise her a rose garden.	1.2655	0.04872	113	87	22	4
2752	She wants half.	1.2655	0.04707	113	86	24	3
2753	Could you expand a little bit more on why you have a cat?	1.2653	0.04712	98	73	24	1
2754	As you can see, his proposal is, "Woof, Woof, Woof." What is your counter proposal?	1.2653	0.05533	98	77	16	5
2755	I’m afraid our only opening is in a the K-9 unit.	1.2653	0.05340	98	76	18	4
2756	Per the terms in your pre-puptial agreement, my client will be keeping the yard.	1.2653	0.05533	98	77	16	5
2757	So,under this agreement you will refrain from shaming your pet on social media.	1.2651	0.05959	83	65	14	4
2758	We offer full health benefits, a 401k, and belly rubs.	1.2651	0.05707	83	64	16	3
2759	We are looking for a certified walker.	1.2651	0.05444	83	63	18	2
2760	Our benefits package includes health, dental, 401k match, and scratches	1.2651	0.05959	83	65	14	4
2761	This last one is not part of the contract. It's just a used wee wee pad.	1.2651	0.06433	83	67	10	6
2762	And, last but not least, there will be no more dry food.	1.2651	0.05959	83	65	14	4
2763	It's like a prenup, just in case things don't work out.	1.2651	0.06201	83	66	12	5
2764	My client wants to keep the ball.	1.2651	0.05707	83	64	16	3
2765	Rover here is all set to adopt you.	1.2651	0.05959	83	65	14	4
2766	I know we negotiated this yesterday, but he forgot.	1.2651	0.05444	83	63	18	2
2767	Thanks for coming in. We’ll be in touch.	1.2651	0.05959	83	65	14	4
2768	Look. You’ll probably never even need this. It just protects everyone should that relationship become something other than “best”.	1.2651	0.05444	83	63	18	2
2769	She keeps the squeak toy, you keep the car, but she gets to chase it.	1.2647	0.05732	102	82	13	7
2770	He wants custody of your girlfriend but will allow supervised visitation rights.	1.2647	0.05732	102	82	13	7
2771	He says if you want him to continue as your companion dog, he needs you to give him your power of attorney.	1.2647	0.05200	102	79	19	4
2772	If you agree to these terms,then you will share joint custody of your wife,beginning January 1st.	1.2647	0.05390	68	50	18	0
2773	It came down to you. or the dog. Sorry.	1.2647	0.05383	102	80	17	5
2774	The party of the first bark has the following responsibilities...	1.2647	0.05783	68	51	16	1
2775	My client is willing to forgo alimony for chewy liver treats.	1.2647	0.05200	102	79	19	4
2776	The bitch gets half of everything.	1.2647	0.05383	102	80	17	5
2777	He's offering half-use of the living room couch. More than generous.	1.2647	0.05383	102	80	17	5
2778	Hang on. I need to fetch you a new pen.	1.2645	0.04947	121	95	20	6
2779	He's agreed to daily walks only halfway around the block.	1.2645	0.04194	121	90	30	1
2780	Better read the fine print on your Owner's License.	1.2644	0.05771	87	68	15	4
2781	My client would like you to sign this promissory note to pay back all the balls you only pretended to throw.	1.2644	0.05998	87	69	13	5
2782	He's seeking shared custody of the children.	1.2644	0.05771	87	68	15	4
2783	Laugh all you want, but I'll be damned if he isn't the best legal advisor I've ever had.	1.2644	0.05288	87	66	19	2
2784	Before you sign, I should warn you that it can be risky to go into business with your best friend.	1.2644	0.05771	87	68	15	4
2785	And he wants pooping rights to the back yard.	1.2644	0.05998	87	69	13	5
2786	You two are the finalists for our Night Watch position.	1.2644	0.05288	87	66	19	2
2787	I am afraid this is going to get ruff!	1.2644	0.05535	87	67	17	3
2788	The top dog says he's giving you a new leash on life - you're fired!	1.2644	0.05771	87	68	15	4
2789	Sign this, then shake.	1.2644	0.05288	87	66	19	2
2790	Alternate beef and chicken weekdays and lamb on weekends.	1.2642	0.05069	106	82	20	4
2791	It’s a pretty standard contract. Anything Lucky has buried in the yard should not be considered communal property.	1.2642	0.04702	106	80	24	2
2792	You can keep the house and the cat but he wants the squeaky toy and the picture of Rin Tin Tin.	1.2642	0.05244	106	83	18	5
2793	He has videos of you smooching the kitty.	1.2642	0.05244	106	83	18	5
2794	Really, his house is an arf-ully good deal, even without central heating. It includes access to the kitchen in the house nearby.	1.2642	0.05069	106	82	20	4
2795	My client is suing you for walking him while looking at your phone.	1.2642	0.04889	106	81	22	3
2796	Sorry Brad, this proposal just doesn't pass the sniff test.	1.2642	0.05069	106	82	20	4
2797	My client has agreed that you may remove the vacuum from the closet, but only according to this schedule.	1.2637	0.06019	91	73	12	6
2798	From now on you must always say, "That's a good boy."	1.2637	0.05599	91	71	16	4
2799	My client requests to be emancipated.	1.2637	0.05599	91	71	16	4
2800	You did fine until the question asking who picks up whose poop.	1.2637	0.05144	91	69	20	2
2801	As part of the divorce settlement,he wants the trees,fire hydrant, yard, and a weekly trip to the groomer!	1.2637	0.04901	91	68	22	1
2802	You can have the house, if she gets custody of the socks.	1.2637	0.05599	91	71	16	4
2803	Firstly, the bitch wishes you to know she harbors no animosity toward you and is willing to separate amicably. Secondly, you can keep the puppies.	1.2637	0.05599	91	73	13	5
2804	He's sorry, but he is going to let you go. He says to take this to the receptionist validate your barking.	1.2637	0.06019	91	73	12	6
2805	My client thought this relationship was unconditional.	1.2637	0.05813	91	72	14	5
2806	You get the house. He keeps the yard.	1.2632	0.05439	95	74	17	4
2807	Stop being a pussy	1.2632	0.04782	95	71	23	1
2808	We like to give the adoptee a chance to interview you.	1.2632	0.05229	95	73	19	3
2809	You took his balls. He’s taking the house.	1.2632	0.05419	76	57	18	1
2810	You get evening walks three successive days and supervised play visits every other weekend.	1.2632	0.04782	95	71	23	1
2811	Well...There are some issues to your dating habits..and then the thing with the teeth.. plus your smelly drawers on top of his dog bed is also in need of mention..	1.2632	0.05439	95	74	17	4
2812	This covers custody of the ball	1.2632	0.05011	95	72	21	2
2813	Rex,of course,makes the final decision.	1.2632	0.05439	95	74	17	4
2814	My client has agreed to continue being your dog but he is done being triggered by the constant, pointless fetching and rolling over.	1.2632	0.05229	95	73	19	3
2815	Now who’s in the dog house?	1.2632	0.05439	95	74	17	4
2816	The Judge ruled that you get Fido's doghouse and Fido gets your house.	1.2632	0.06849	76	62	8	6
2817	While this proposed settlement does not include the house nor its bathrooms, you are entitled to full use of the backyard.	1.2632	0.06032	76	59	14	3
2818	Sorry Ted, that’s called cursive. It’s a handwriting skill that used to be taught in schools.	1.2632	0.06316	76	60	12	4
2819	You are entitled to half of all the bones she buried in the yard, but she gets full custody of the squeaky toys.	1.2632	0.05439	95	74	17	4
2820	She wishes you the best.	1.2632	0.05439	95	74	17	4
2821	We've decided to give your dog the position.	1.2626	0.05483	99	78	16	5
2822	Unfortunately, your dog interviewed quite well, wore a tie, and has excellent barking skills, so we are hiring him.	1.2626	0.04887	99	75	22	2
2823	Turn around three times if you understand this contract.	1.2626	0.05292	99	77	18	4
2824	Spot prefers visitation rights with the kids every weekend.	1.2626	0.05292	99	77	18	4
2825	All my client is asking is for you to throw him a bone.	1.2626	0.05483	99	78	16	5
2826	I am presenting you with an order to sit and stay …away from my client!	1.2626	0.04887	99	75	22	2
2827	Sparky agrees, you can stay in the garage until we can get you a permanent home.	1.2625	0.05260	80	60	19	1
2828	As part of the settlement, my client wants visitation rights with your juniper bush.	1.2625	0.05553	80	61	17	2
2829	Suit no, collar yes.	1.2625	0.05831	80	62	15	3
2830	These are my client’s final terms. Bacon at least three times a week and clear marking of the invisible fence.	1.2625	0.05553	80	61	17	2
2831	Just to let you know, speed counts in this test and our other candidate here did very well!	1.2625	0.05553	80	61	17	2
2832	My client is suing because you haven’t fulfilled the contract you signed with the animal shelter.	1.2623	0.04911	122	96	20	6
2833	You get the house, he gets the chewie toys.	1.2621	0.05682	103	83	13	7
2834	On January 2nd you breached the daily walkies agreement as you were ‘too hungover’. My client demands immediate separation and custody of the squeaky rabbit, the chew bone and the all the meat in the freezer.	1.2621	0.05155	103	80	19	4
2835	I'm sorry we have to let you go but it's a dog-eat-dog world, I'm afraid.	1.2621	0.04967	103	79	21	3
2836	He wants to know why you want to be his walker.	1.2621	0.05155	103	80	19	4
2837	She gets the trust fund and the house; you get her puppy litter. What could be more fair?	1.2621	0.05155	103	80	19	4
2838	You wouldn't be a direct report to him, but he'll have the occasional bone to pick with you.	1.2621	0.05155	103	80	19	4
2839	Wow. I now understand why the neighborhood calls you a Pit Bull.	1.2621	0.04772	103	78	23	2
2840	There's a treat hidden in one of these.	1.2621	0.05337	103	81	17	5
2841	My client requests a return to 8 hour naps and compensation for the endless snuggles and fetching she's provided over the past two years.	1.2621	0.04967	103	79	21	3
2842	And this is the Pro-bono agreement.	1.2621	0.04967	103	79	21	3
2843	This final document affirms that you will be Skippy's best friend for life, including all such related activities associated therewith, including, but not limited to, tummy rubs, bed time snuggles, and walkies around the blockies.	1.2619	0.05896	84	66	14	4
2844	“After you finish the written part of the test, Max will see how well you respond to executive commands.”	1.2619	0.05388	84	64	18	2
2845	As it relates to this offer, your new boss has, uncharacteristically, left a lot of meat on the bone.	1.2619	0.05648	84	65	16	3
2846	You should have thought about the No-cheating clause in your prenup before you petted that Labrador in the park.	1.2619	0.05115	84	63	20	1
2847	I think you will find the terms of this prepup more than generous.	1.2619	0.05388	84	64	18	2
2848	She wants joint custody of the puppies.	1.2619	0.06135	84	67	12	5
2849	This is my client's best arffer.	1.2619	0.05648	84	65	16	3
2850	My client insists that you retake obedience school.	1.2619	0.05388	84	64	18	2
2851	I've represented many dogs, and the 'no texting while on walks together' clause is pretty standard now.	1.2619	0.05388	84	64	18	2
2852	It's policy, all involved in emotional support are required to sign non-disclosure agreements	1.2619	0.05896	84	66	14	4
2853	It's a standard prenup. He gets half of your slippers if you run away.	1.2619	0.05648	84	65	16	3
2854	It's a non disclosure agreement ! If you accept this job , you won't be able to share any gossip ! What happens at the dog park , stays at the dog park !	1.2619	0.05388	84	64	18	2
2855	He demands 90% of the profits from your Tiktok channel and an image rights compensation.	1.2619	0.06135	84	67	12	5
2856	My client can live with this many walkies per day.	1.2619	0.05896	84	66	14	4
2857	My dog doesn't think you're qualified.	1.2619	0.05648	84	65	16	3
2858	He really IS a dogged negotiator.	1.2617	0.04849	107	82	22	3
2859	Now it seems like you’ve made a habit of getting under his fur	1.2617	0.05028	107	83	20	4
2860	''My client is willing to have an amicable separation if you agree to let him get the toilet bowl and your shoes''	1.2617	0.05367	107	85	16	6
2861	This is your petimony agreement. Please sign below the paw print.	1.2617	0.05200	107	84	18	5
2862	What makes you think you're his best friend?	1.2614	0.05236	88	67	19	2
2863	Who do you see yourself barking at five years from now?	1.2614	0.05480	88	68	17	3
2864	I'm sorry to have to say this, but "woof-woof."	1.2614	0.04980	88	66	21	1
2865	Yes, she’s a good girl, but you’re not getting the house.	1.2614	0.05713	88	69	15	4
2866	According to his will, he’s leaving you his doghouse and all the biscuits.	1.2614	0.04980	88	66	21	1
2867	It's never easy. But he's letting you have custody of the cat.	1.2614	0.05937	88	70	13	5
2868	My client demands that you put your handprint on the agreement, and then roll on your back and say you've been a bad boy.	1.2614	0.05713	88	69	15	4
2869	This clearly stipulates that maintaining a lifestyle he's grown accustomed to does indeed include belly rubs upon request.	1.2614	0.05236	88	67	19	2
2870	Oh, I'm sorry, sir. I think you got the adoption process backward. In dog-years, he's actually old enough to be your father.	1.2614	0.05480	88	68	17	3
2871	Divorce papers indicate she was promised a sapphire collar, not a blue-collar husband, and that you called her a bitch.	1.2614	0.05713	88	69	15	4
2872	This is Mr Woofington’s final offer.	1.2613	0.05232	111	88	17	6
2873	Fido gets the car.	1.2613	0.04909	111	86	21	4
2874	Now you do understand that this is a legal and binding "Pre-Pup"	1.2613	0.05073	111	87	19	5
2875	My assistant made some notes you might want to see.	1.2609	0.05325	92	71	18	3
2876	This is our final arf-er.	1.2609	0.05960	92	74	12	6
2877	And after you fill this out, I'll be sniffing your rear end.	1.2609	0.05756	92	73	14	5
2878	Well, at least ONE of us remembered Bring Your Kid to Work Day.	1.2609	0.05325	92	71	18	3
2879	My client requests no more than one bath a month, and at least 3 belly scratches a day.	1.2609	0.05096	92	70	20	2
2880	Before you fill out this job application, are you aware that our firm only considers lapdogs? Isn't that right, Wilson boy.	1.2609	0.05325	92	71	18	3
2881	This is his final offer. He gets custody of the cat or no deal.	1.2609	0.05325	92	71	18	3
2882	Naturally, Butch will make the final decision.	1.2609	0.05325	92	71	18	3
2883	Settlement? All he wants is the dog house and lifetime treats.	1.2609	0.06157	92	75	10	7
2884	We have an issue with Paragraph 4, subheading 2(c): Definition of "Best Friend."	1.2609	0.05325	92	71	18	3
2885	Your faithful and best friend dog is serving your new cat with a restraining order and demands an immediate declawing.	1.2609	0.05325	92	71	18	3
2886	She says you can keep the dog house in the Hamptons.	1.2609	0.04856	92	69	22	1
2887	Congratulations! I guess both of you are in for a treat.	1.2609	0.05096	92	70	20	2
2888	My client would like "best friend" amended to: "BFF".	1.2609	0.05106	115	91	18	6
2889	We believe we're being very fair in our request to dig up all the bones in the backyard and divide them equally.	1.2609	0.05545	92	72	16	4
2890	My client is willing to let you have the ball, so long as you agree he is a 'good boy.'	1.2609	0.05096	92	70	20	2
2891	This should put an end to the leg humping.	1.2609	0.05106	115	91	18	6
2892	Here's the pre-nup, bitch.	1.2609	0.05325	92	71	18	3
2893	Careful, he smells false resume information.	1.2609	0.05545	92	72	16	4
2894	Then it's settled. He gets the ski lodge.	1.2609	0.04856	92	69	22	1
2895	The defendant claims, he wasn't barking up the wrong tree!	1.2604	0.05389	96	75	17	4
2896	He won't budge without the Petco membership.	1.2604	0.05389	96	75	17	4
2897	This just formalizes his demand for the stick after the divorce goes through.	1.2604	0.05589	96	76	15	5
2898	My client wants the house and bones for life.	1.2604	0.04252	96	72	24	0
2899	The lawsuit claims you were regularly walking and picking up the poop of another dog.	1.2604	0.05389	96	75	17	4
2900	Sammy now identifies as a human and insists on being awarded an equal interest in all property and possessions acquired during your relationship.	1.2604	0.05589	96	76	15	5
2901	Please note the use of the word 'Shall' in the daily treats clause	1.2604	0.05182	96	74	19	3
2902	You are now legally obligated to refer to my client as “Good They”.	1.2604	0.05782	96	77	13	6
2903	He is willing to concede the TV remote and couch legs, but he gets the squeaky toy and your favorite shoes.	1.2604	0.04966	96	73	21	2
2904	This section of the pre-ownership agreement covers royalties or payments stemming from social media postings, "funny animal" videos, and related uses of artistic and intellectual property.	1.2604	0.05589	96	76	15	5
2905	He needs only the basics. When you're finished, just bark.	1.2604	0.05182	96	74	19	3
2906	HR has ruled in her favor.	1.2604	0.04740	96	72	23	1
2907	My client demands the baby be returned	1.2604	0.05389	96	75	17	4
2908	This is not a pink slip, but what I want for lunch at that good deli on the corner.	1.2604	0.05389	96	75	17	4
2909	And according to the non-disclosure agreement, you will only refer to him as "a good boy" or "a very good dog."	1.2603	0.05527	73	55	17	1
2910	I think you’ll find Missy’s final offer quite fair. You keep the penthouse, she gets the kennel, the farm and custody of the puppies.	1.2603	0.06177	73	57	13	3
2911	Some dogs just don’t like the city	1.2603	0.05861	73	56	15	2
2912	If you sign now, he won’t disclose who actually trained who.	1.2603	0.05861	73	56	15	2
2913	This contract stipulates that if you provide him with room, board and a daily tummy tickle, he will act cute and help you meet women.	1.2603	0.05861	73	56	15	2
2914	So, the "dog" will be seeking to stay with your ex-wife in Connecticut, as well as a cash settlement.	1.2600	0.04845	100	76	22	2
2915	Yes, he gets to say where he sees himself in eight-and-a-half months but you still have to go with five years.	1.2600	0.05435	100	79	16	5
2916	You agreed to mediation in her adoption papers.	1.2600	0.05435	100	79	16	5
2917	You've got competition, young man. The dog can write in cursive.	1.2600	0.05435	100	79	16	5
2918	And so as of January 5, 2022 , 9 am Eastern Standard Time, you no longer have a dog in the fight.	1.2600	0.05617	100	80	14	6
2919	Here are the terms of our pre-pup agreement.	1.2597	0.05359	77	58	18	1
2920	My client says she wants off the leash...permanently."	1.2597	0.05963	77	60	14	3
2921	The shares are ruffly equal.	1.2597	0.05669	77	59	16	2
2922	It's just that you can't really pull off puppy dog eyes to our satisfaction.	1.2597	0.05359	77	58	18	1
2923	Brcausr he loves me unconditionally.	1.2597	0.05669	77	59	16	2
2924	Sorry, he's the CEO and you aren't.	1.2597	0.06243	77	61	12	4
2925	You can have your old job back,but you're gonna have to work like a dog.	1.2597	0.05669	77	59	16	2
2926	He says you've been a bad boy.	1.2597	0.05669	77	59	16	2
2927	You'll get the chew toys on the weekends, Thanksgiving, and Easter.	1.2596	0.05465	104	83	15	6
2928	As I'm sure you understand, laying off talent like you is stressful to me. He's my emotional support dog and witness. Sign here.	1.2596	0.05112	104	81	19	4
2929	Who's a good boy?	1.2596	0.04732	104	79	23	2
2930	This gives her custody of the puppies and the dog house in the Hamptons.	1.2596	0.05112	104	81	19	4
2931	It's fairly standard stuff these days. It's what we're calling a 'pre-pup' agreement."	1.2596	0.04926	104	80	21	3
2932	This form acknowledges that my client is not, as you have alleged, a "bad dog", but is, in fact, a "very good boy".	1.2596	0.04427	104	80	22	2
2933	So, we've settled on joint custody of the puppies, with visitation limited to 1 hour at 6am, 6pm and 11pm , 7 days a week, outside the apartment.	1.2596	0.05465	104	83	15	6
2934	Your dog's been very helpful with this 360 degree review	1.2593	0.04627	108	82	24	2
2935	It's a fair offer, as you did neuter him without consent.	1.2593	0.06029	81	64	13	4
2936	It’s not personal Sonny, it’s strictly business.	1.2593	0.05768	81	63	15	3
2937	He wants to know if you are house trained, and go for long walks.	1.2593	0.06029	81	64	13	4
2938	I'm afraid Mr. Scruffles received the promotion.	1.2593	0.06029	81	64	13	4
2939	Sorry son, but the business is going to the dogs, so from now on I want you to take Rex’s lead.	1.2593	0.05493	81	62	17	2
2940	Well, I did advise you to sign a pre-pup!	1.2593	0.05493	81	62	17	2
2941	As you can see, the separation agreement stipulates unlimited squeaky toys."	1.2593	0.05493	81	62	17	2
2942	Yes, your father left all his earthly possessions to Rover.	1.2593	0.05768	81	63	15	3
2943	Regarding visitation, my client would like to see you every day when you get back from work.	1.2588	0.06515	85	70	8	7
2944	It was easier than my last divorce…	1.2588	0.04923	85	66	17	2
2945	I'm sorry we have to let you go, but you haven't been a very good boy.	1.2588	0.05589	85	66	16	3
2946	Now you make a list of the things in the house that you really want.	1.2588	0.05333	85	65	18	2
2947	He finished in 45 minutes, but that's in dog years.	1.2588	0.05589	85	66	16	3
2948	All my clients is asking for is 2 walks a day, real food, not the dry stuff and in return, you'll get his undying love.	1.2588	0.05835	85	67	14	4
2949	She wants the house. You?	1.2588	0.05333	85	65	18	2
2950	No dice,Rover will not roll over!	1.2588	0.05589	85	66	16	3
2951	They’re common now - it’s a pre-pup agreement.	1.2588	0.06070	85	68	12	5
2952	He graduated Trump University, he's a trained sniff tester	1.2588	0.06070	85	68	12	5
2953	Alright. In the updated agreement, when you get home from work, you agree to great each other with equal amount of enthusiasm.	1.2588	0.05835	85	67	14	4
2954	He's named you beneficiary.	1.2588	0.06070	85	68	12	5
2955	He wants the actual house also.	1.2588	0.04779	85	63	22	0
2956	Yes, you are now the assistant to your dog - we're lucky his extraordinary talents were discovered during COVID."	1.2588	0.05589	85	66	16	3
2957	At the request of Rocky, I hereby serve you orders to remain 100 feet away from "the doghouse"...no matter what your wife says.	1.2588	0.05835	85	67	14	4
2958	Stay. Sign here.	1.2588	0.06070	85	68	12	5
2959	He wants to know where you stand on after dinner walks.	1.2588	0.05333	85	65	18	2
2960	Neutering, it’s the corporate culture.	1.2588	0.06070	85	68	12	5
2961	Let's start you out with one case, then Ruff here will evaluate your work and we'll take it from there.	1.2586	0.04174	116	89	25	2
2962	By signing this non disclosure, you will be agreeing not to tell the new or subsequent home owners the location of anything he has buried.	1.2586	0.05354	116	94	14	8
2963	Think of it as mostly unconditional love.	1.2584	0.04933	89	67	21	1
2964	Glad to have you on board, John. To my left is your immediate supervisor, Mr. Donald Doggery. When he says, "Come", you will need to do that.	1.2584	0.05185	89	68	19	2
2965	Toby has a nose for Trump supporters, he once played catch nearby.	1.2584	0.05426	89	69	17	3
2966	Meet your replacement and unlike you, he works like a dog.	1.2584	0.05185	89	68	19	2
2967	And finally, if you guarantee three walks a day, he’ll commit to your care.	1.2584	0.05185	89	68	19	2
2968	It's not you. It's me.	1.2584	0.05426	89	69	17	3
2969	Paw over this.	1.2584	0.05426	89	69	17	3
2970	My client has no intention of rolling over this time.	1.2584	0.05185	89	68	19	2
2971	I’ve advised my client to enter a pre-pup agreement.	1.2584	0.05426	89	69	17	3
2972	He wants the house; the little one out back.	1.2584	0.04933	89	67	21	1
2973	OK, the vacuum cleaner and the cat are yours, but he gets everything he's marked and anything that is buried in the backyard.	1.2584	0.05656	89	70	15	4
2974	She's suing you for harassment for repeatedly asking her to roll over.	1.2584	0.05656	89	70	15	4
2975	‘“We need you to assert that your rabies and distemper vaccinations are up to date prior to the adoption.”	1.2584	0.05185	89	68	19	2
2976	You're pet is suing for emancipation; he feels you're too controlling	1.2584	0.05185	89	68	19	2
2977	On behalf of Fido, I, Mike Pence, would like to formally request that you agree to play a game of “Go Fetch”	1.2584	0.05185	89	68	19	2
2978	He wants to know if you're a good boy.	1.2581	0.05275	93	72	18	3
2979	Just sign here and Fluffy will be the new Lassie.	1.2581	0.05275	93	72	18	3
2980	Now, what seems to be the bone of contention in this dispute?	1.2581	0.04416	124	95	26	3
2981	He's here for emotional support. You're fired.	1.2581	0.05701	93	74	14	5
2982	Here's a list of Wag's demands. I suggest you read them over and consult with your own attorney.	1.2581	0.05275	93	72	18	3
2983	He takes the kibbles, you get the bits.	1.2581	0.05275	93	72	18	3
2984	Nepotism at its worst.	1.2581	0.05492	93	73	16	4
2985	This short quiz should help us answer the question: "Who's a good boy?"	1.2581	0.05048	93	71	20	2
2986	Sit! Staaaaay. Ok, sign.	1.2581	0.05492	93	73	16	4
2987	After his last "forever home" fiasco, my client insists on a pre-adopt.	1.2577	0.05538	97	77	15	5
2988	Your adoption papers doggedly fail our sniff test.	1.2577	0.05340	97	76	17	4
2989	We have to increase the belly rubs if you want him to stop peeing on the carpet.	1.2577	0.05135	97	75	19	3
2990	There’s no health coverage, no paid holidays or sick days, and you have to provide your own office supplies. But we’ve got an excellent “bring your dog to work” policy.	1.2577	0.05340	97	76	17	4
2991	My client demands alternate-weekend custody of your lap.	1.2577	0.05538	97	77	15	5
2992	My client is adamant that the cat stays with you."	1.2577	0.05340	97	76	17	4
2993	4 bones is a very good offer - I really think you should accept	1.2576	0.05424	66	49	17	0
2994	Calling her your bitch is definite grounds for a harassment suit.	1.2574	0.05200	101	79	18	4
2995	She wants the recliner, a Burberry jacket, and she’ll sit and stay if she feels like it.	1.2574	0.05200	101	79	18	4
2996	Jeremy wants to know if you can fetch.	1.2574	0.05387	101	80	16	5
2997	You'll be reporting to Rex from no on.	1.2574	0.05006	101	78	20	3
2998	According to the terms of this settlement, you shall never call her "bitch" again...	1.2574	0.05567	101	81	14	6
2999	The custody battle I understand—but, c’mon now, are all those old tennis balls really worth fighting for?	1.2574	0.04804	101	77	22	2
3000	Fido wants proof of vaccine and booster before partial custody is granted	1.2574	0.05387	101	80	16	5
3001	As you're aware, my client is entitled to half of your shoes.	1.2571	0.04694	105	80	23	2
3002	Final offer. Take down all the Grumpy Pooch videos and my client will drop the emotional distress and reputational harm claims.	1.2571	0.05069	105	82	19	4
3003	He did well in the interview… I’m impressed. But I didn’t like the way his butt smelled so I can’t hire him.	1.2571	0.05069	105	82	19	4
3004	And lastly, Gerald promises not to exercise his right to poop on your stoop again.	1.2571	0.04885	105	81	21	3
3005	My apologies, Mr. Brent, but your dog is not authorized to work here.”	1.2569	0.04947	109	85	20	4
3006	Following the request of Mr Max here, it has been agreed that your salary will be adjusted to his for the sake of fairness.	1.2569	0.04591	109	83	24	2
3007	Watch carefully and pick the one without small print.	1.2569	0.04947	109	85	20	4
3008	I'm afraid the jingling of keys must always lead to an outing.	1.2568	0.06103	74	58	13	3
3009	OK, that's great. Now Gary here has a couple of questions...	1.2568	0.06103	74	58	13	3
3010	A hydrant on the veranda is a sine qua non, I'm afraid	1.2568	0.06103	74	58	13	3
3011	He agrees to giving up the house and the car,but he won’t budge on your socks and the 401K.	1.2568	0.06682	74	60	9	5
3012	She gets the house.	1.2564	0.05300	78	59	18	1
3013	Once he has had a chance to lick your application we will contact you to set up a home visit.	1.2564	0.05895	78	61	14	3
3014	Ruff ruff. Grrrrr. Bow wow wow. Any questions?	1.2564	0.05605	78	60	16	2
3015	We want to see what you both have in common. You can take your time and paws, if you need two.	1.2564	0.05895	78	61	14	3
3016	Fido insists that he gets to keep the wife.	1.2564	0.05300	78	59	18	1
3017	“As the HR rep for your onboarding, I need to have you initial your choice of medical benefits. Shep here, our DR rep, will show you the options for your dog. “	1.2564	0.05605	78	60	16	2
3018	His grievances include food that looks unappealing to humans, your bad breath and the cat that doesn't clean up after itself.	1.2564	0.04879	117	92	20	5
3019	He will behave if you grant him an off the leash run on the beach.	1.2564	0.05605	78	60	16	2
3020	My client thinks it’s only fair if you keep the dog house.	1.2564	0.05895	78	61	14	3
3021	It's your basic prenup!	1.2564	0.05605	78	60	16	2
3022	Well, the chairman of the board here doesn't approve of the products you have been designing	1.2564	0.05300	78	59	18	1
3023	My client, The Goodest Boy, is willing to negotiate his treat delivery schedule as you are citing weight gain - which is discriminatory.	1.2561	0.05964	82	65	13	4
3024	Then it’s settled; you get the house and he gets the couch, throw rug, and the large potted plant.	1.2561	0.05435	82	63	17	2
3025	Try to be a good boy.	1.2561	0.05964	82	65	13	4
3026	We'll get back to you if your application passes the smell test.	1.2561	0.05435	82	63	17	2
3027	He's willing to give you custody of the cats.	1.2561	0.05964	82	65	13	4
3028	He doesn't like to be called "boy"	1.2561	0.05435	82	63	17	2
3029	Son, I've hired someone else to run the loyalty program.	1.2561	0.05435	82	63	17	2
3030	Certainly, you are qualified for the position. But the dog begs.	1.2561	0.05706	82	64	15	3
3031	You acknowledge that "All Dogs Go to Heaven," and therefore you may not see him in the Afterlife	1.2561	0.06211	82	66	11	5
3032	Tell him which one has the dog treat under it and we'll give you tomorrow off.	1.2561	0.05706	82	64	15	3
3033	My client,Mr. Snuggles,is suing you for uploading photos of him on the internet without his permission.	1.2561	0.06211	82	66	11	5
3034	'Dog gone.' isn't going to happen.	1.2561	0.05435	82	63	17	2
3035	Now it’s your turn to write down three things you love about him.	1.2561	0.05706	82	64	15	3
3036	...and this is the standard reparations agreement for 15,000 years of ancestral enslavement.	1.2561	0.05435	82	63	17	2
3037	My client gave you unconditional love. He deserves half of what you have.	1.2561	0.05706	82	64	15	3
3038	We think you'll find our offer of belly rubs per day to be VERY generous.	1.2558	0.05013	86	65	20	1
3039	OK. #1. He says he’s NOT “your wittle buddy”.	1.2558	0.04733	86	64	22	0
3040	If you will agree to no vacuum cleaners, then my client is ready to sign.	1.2558	0.05279	86	66	18	2
3041	My client is seeking full custody of the tennis balls	1.2558	0.05532	86	67	16	3
3042	You can keep the boat but my client wants the house, the mailbox, the stinky couch, and kibble delivery continued in perpetuity.	1.2558	0.05279	86	66	18	2
3043	He is willing to give up visitation of the cat if you relinquish your half of the dog house.	1.2558	0.06006	86	69	12	5
3044	Max thinks you are a good boy, I mean employee.	1.2558	0.05532	86	67	16	3
3045	The client believes that he was neutered unwillingly. It is only fair if so are you.	1.2558	0.05532	86	67	16	3
3046	My client’s plan, as you can see, details exactly what she will do now that she has caught your car.	1.2558	0.05774	86	68	14	4
3047	Never mind him. He's only here to take notes.	1.2558	0.06006	86	69	12	5
3048	Once you've signed all the documents, you'll receive a delicious treat.	1.2558	0.05279	86	66	18	2
3049	My client feels that he deserves half of all of your shoes and slippers and is asking for the left ones.	1.2558	0.05774	86	68	14	4
3050	My client insists that all further business be conducted in his native language.	1.2558	0.06230	86	70	10	6
3051	My client Mr. Muffin's already has 10 offers over asking price for his dog house.	1.2558	0.05279	86	66	18	2
3052	He wants to know where all the bones are buried. Lucy Wang, Los Angeles	1.2558	0.05279	86	66	18	2
3053	We expect our associates to be fully vaccinated and crate-trained.	1.2558	0.05532	86	67	16	3
3054	Frankly gentlemen, I never thought it could get this ruff	1.2558	0.05774	86	68	14	4
3055	This dog won’t hunt.	1.2556	0.04886	90	68	21	1
3056	You're now the one getting a bath	1.2556	0.05819	90	72	13	5
3057	This explains the rules for your one-year leash.	1.2556	0.05600	90	71	15	4
3058	He wants the chew toy and the dog house in the Hamptons.	1.2556	0.06030	90	73	11	6
3059	Given that you failed to supply ‘walkies’ twice a day, the courts have awarded your entire estate to the dog.	1.2556	0.05135	90	69	19	2
3060	She wants no alimony, just puppy support	1.2556	0.05135	90	69	19	2
3061	You get to keep the car and the leash. Rex gets the house and this amount for kibble, chew toys and spa treatments.	1.2556	0.05135	90	69	19	2
3062	Fido will agree to spend alternating weekends and Christmas break with you .	1.2556	0.05373	90	70	17	3
3063	Thrice a week bed privileges, no dangling of treats is our initial offer	1.2556	0.05600	90	71	15	4
3064	As you know the last quarter has been a little ruff	1.2556	0.05135	90	69	19	2
3065	Your dog's terms.	1.2556	0.05819	90	72	13	5
3066	My client is willing to exchange her house for yours; final offer.	1.2556	0.06030	90	73	11	6
3067	We're concerned you haven't been a good enough boy this quarter.	1.2556	0.04623	90	67	23	0
3068	I'm afraid you get custody of the spouse.	1.2553	0.05440	94	74	16	4
3069	My client requests that you address him as ‘Sir’ and not ‘the little Booper.’	1.2553	0.05440	94	74	16	4
3070	My client demands full custody of the yellow squeaky toy.	1.2553	0.05226	94	73	18	3
3071	Max will drop the charges, if you agree to continue to work from home.	1.2553	0.04768	94	71	22	1
3072	No, Mr. Ruffles gets the house. You're in the doghouse.	1.2553	0.05440	94	74	16	4
3073	In my client's opinion, your proposal does not pass the smell test.	1.2553	0.04768	94	71	22	1
3074	Closing costs are the responsibility of the human.	1.2553	0.05440	94	74	16	4
3075	Actually, the dog is our CEO, having been left the company by our founder. Please indicate your choices for doggie treats. David Coriaty, Fishers, Indiana	1.2553	0.05440	94	74	16	4
3076	The good news is you’re out of the dog house now.	1.2553	0.05226	94	73	18	3
3077	As far as the estate goes, Bailey, here, wasn't the only one in your mom's doghouse.	1.2551	0.05292	98	77	17	4
3078	Here's our ruff draft of the flea deal.	1.2551	0.05292	98	77	17	4
3079	He claims you don’t call him good boy enough	1.2551	0.05089	98	76	19	3
3080	Sorry about the split up. Sign here and Buddy gets the the big house and you get the dog house.He was smart to hire Morgan and Morgan.	1.2551	0.04878	98	75	21	2
3081	You’ll enjoy daily ecofriendly local travel with man’s best friend. Sign now and get complimentary baggies.	1.2551	0.05089	98	76	19	3
3082	…additionally, my client, Mr. Max, demands an additional walk and biscuit just before bedtime.	1.2551	0.04658	98	74	23	1
3083	I’ve never written a prenuptial agreement that included weekend walks without a leash, but maybe this will be precedent setting.	1.2551	0.04878	98	75	21	2
3084	She insists on full custody of the bone.	1.2551	0.05676	98	79	13	6
3085	My client is not asking for much, just half of any territory he has marked and the condo in Hawaii.	1.2551	0.04878	98	75	21	2
3086	Watch closely while I shuffle these contracts. One provides lifetime security. The others guarantee suffering and endless litigation.	1.2549	0.05155	102	80	18	4
3087	Okay, he says he will be a good dog, but you must agree not to ask "Who's a good doggie?"	1.2549	0.05155	102	80	18	4
3088	Saving ... according to Weber.	1.2549	0.05340	102	81	16	5
3089	He's completed his essay - let's see what you can do.	1.2547	0.04845	106	82	21	3
3090	Is that in human years or dog years?	1.2545	0.04555	110	84	24	2
3091	The petitioner alleges that your half-hearted belly rubs have demonstrated "withholding of affection".	1.2545	0.04462	110	86	21	3
3092	Unfortunately, Oliver hears more things than you can.	1.2544	0.05259	114	92	15	7
3093	With the exception of the fleas, your portion of the community property is buried in the backyard.	1.2542	0.04767	118	95	17	6
3094	It wasn't just puppy love for my client, so sign the separation agreement.	1.2542	0.04533	118	91	24	3
3095	And three belly rubs.	1.2541	0.04592	122	95	23	4
3096	Bottom line.. my client is no longer your "good boy"	1.2535	0.05923	71	55	14	2
3097	As you see here, you’ve tagged, “Larry” as your best friend. It’s obvious you had intent on misleading my client.	1.2533	0.05056	75	56	19	0
3098	Don't think you can pull any financial tricks on him. He is the Woof of Wall Street.	1.2533	0.06031	75	59	13	3
3099	Okay, we're agreed. You get the house, cars, and savings, and my client get the tasty brown shoe.	1.2533	0.05724	75	58	15	2
3100	Want to settle? Throw him a bone.	1.2533	0.05724	75	58	15	2
3101	Next time , have a prepuptual!	1.2533	0.06323	75	60	11	4
3102	Baxter is offering the cat for the beach house.	1.2533	0.05724	75	58	15	2
3103	And now for the company's hybrid work-from-home policy, these are the days your dog has requested you work at home.	1.2532	0.05544	79	61	16	2
3104	Because of your lack of loyalty and inability to retrieve you have been replaced.	1.2532	0.05829	79	62	14	3
3105	The negotiated Canine Companion Local 523 union contract is quite clear regarding lick/treat exchange rates	1.2532	0.06101	79	63	12	4
3106	She wants to keep the larger house.	1.2532	0.06101	79	63	12	4
3107	It's between you and the dog, and frankly, he's my best friend.	1.2532	0.05829	79	62	14	3
3108	He wants to renegotiate the pre-pup agreement!	1.2532	0.05544	79	61	16	2
3109	I have taken this case Pro Bone-O.	1.2532	0.06101	79	63	12	4
3110	Not that it's any of your business, but yes I am working pro bono'.	1.2532	0.06101	79	63	12	4
3111	He’s here because he detects fear	1.2532	0.05544	79	61	16	2
3112	All of our new hires are required to wear a bark collar.	1.2532	0.06101	79	63	12	4
3113	Unconditional love is an outdated stereotype. My client believes you will find the following conditions fair and human.	1.2532	0.05544	79	61	16	2
3114	My client is requesting full custody of the squeaky stuffed animals	1.2530	0.05378	83	64	17	2
3115	Don't let the dog eat this, it's your homework.	1.2530	0.05645	83	65	15	3
3116	Sorry about bringing my dog to this meeting. My wife was called into work unexpectedly and we were unable to find anyone locally to look after him.	1.2530	0.05378	83	64	17	2
3117	In writing, tell us why you feel you are a “Good Boy”.	1.2530	0.05378	83	64	17	2
3118	She's asking for more palimony.	1.2530	0.05378	83	64	17	2
3119	He's willing to give you the cat if he gets all of the chew toys and the bones buried in the yard.	1.2530	0.05645	83	65	15	3
3120	You agree to a daily bone, professional dog walker twice a day, and free use of the back yard. He agrees not to bark.	1.2530	0.06143	83	67	11	5
3121	The scrap augmented meals are non-negotiable.	1.2530	0.05378	83	64	17	2
3122	The two biggest clues that you are dreaming is that your new boss is a dog and you’re dressed like a slob for your interview.	1.2530	0.05645	83	65	15	3
3123	He says you were not his best friend.	1.2530	0.05378	83	64	17	2
3124	I think you'll find Sasha's terms of separation quite more reasonable than the Shih Tzu you had before	1.2530	0.05899	83	66	13	4
3125	Try to relax and look forward to a new chapter in your life. Fido’s only getting the condo and air fryer. You got the cat, right?	1.2530	0.05645	83	65	15	3
3126	Now it's your turn to list your prepup demands.	1.2530	0.05098	83	65	16	2
3127	Sorry about this Bill but Rover has a bone to pick with you.	1.2530	0.05378	83	64	17	2
3128	I am very sorry but you don't have the right pedigree, pal.	1.2530	0.05645	83	65	15	3
3129	We're sorry, but as you can see, the dog has a much better resume'.	1.2530	0.05645	83	65	15	3
3130	She wants the yard, the couch and joint access to the cat litter box.	1.2530	0.05645	83	65	15	3
3131	I believe you’ll find Mr Scruffs’ weekly treat requirements to be well in line with current market conditions.	1.2530	0.05378	83	64	17	2
3132	Mr. Snuffles is an indoor dog, you understand?	1.2530	0.05645	83	65	15	3
3133	In the spirit of fairness, you're to refrain from using your thumbs when filling out this questionnaire.	1.2529	0.05944	87	70	12	5
3134	My client will agree to less barking if you agree to more walks.	1.2529	0.05226	87	67	18	2
3135	My client want it in writing that he is a good boy.	1.2529	0.05715	87	69	14	4
3136	Under penalty of perjury, I declare that I am the petitioner in the above-entitled action; that I have read the foregoing Petition to Emancipate	1.2529	0.05226	87	67	18	2
3137	'"As agreed by law, you can relinquish your home and move into the plaintiff's dog house at the beginning of the new year."	1.2529	0.05226	87	67	18	2
3138	My client believes that continuing a fulltime work from home arrangement is more than reasonable.	1.2529	0.05226	87	67	18	2
3139	You can keep the house, the wife and the two cars but the slippers and toilet bowl are non negotiable”	1.2529	0.05476	87	68	16	3
3140	We will need two forms of identification.	1.2529	0.05476	87	68	16	3
3141	No more haircuts.	1.2529	0.05476	87	68	16	3
3142	Here are your dog-walking papers.	1.2529	0.05226	87	67	18	2
3143	It's a standard contract. Read through it and give three woofs if you agree.	1.2529	0.04964	87	66	20	1
3144	Bailey here gets the kids every Monday and Tuesday… you get them every Wednesday and Thursday and you both get alternating weekends.	1.2527	0.05546	91	72	15	4
3145	I saw your dog with his wagily tale in the window and well I have to have him. Before you say anything just look at what I’m prepared to offer	1.2527	0.05970	91	74	11	6
3146	Since you started working from home, my client has lost all personal time and is requesting a cease and desist on the constant attention.	1.2527	0.05321	91	71	17	3
3147	After you sign The Enquirer's standard NDA, the dog park incident between Fido and Fifi will 'never have happened' and disappear from our pages.	1.2527	0.05321	91	71	17	3
3148	Sign here and he can start work tomorrow.	1.2527	0.05086	91	70	19	2
3149	Good sit. Now, speak.	1.2527	0.04840	91	69	21	1
3150	Sorry. Pebbles says your resume does'nt pass the smell test.	1.2527	0.05546	91	72	15	4
3151	She would like to keep the cabin.	1.2526	0.05177	95	74	18	3
3152	Your pawprint please...	1.2526	0.05177	95	74	18	3
3153	The party’s filed for separation on grounds of negligence, something about substandard treats.	1.2526	0.04605	95	74	19	2
3154	You’re the two final candidates.	1.2526	0.05389	95	75	16	4
3155	He insists on a prepuptial agreement	1.2526	0.05593	95	76	14	5
3156	I think it's best if you take the minutes this week.	1.2526	0.05389	95	75	16	4
3157	We have to ask,are you willing to take Sam here to parks and pick up after him?	1.2526	0.05177	95	74	18	3
3158	My client’s final condition is that you trade houses.	1.2526	0.05389	95	75	16	4
3159	He’ll bark less if you’ll be less biting.	1.2526	0.05177	95	74	18	3
3160	I know you scored higher in every category, Perkins but Mr Whiskers can't be surpassed for loyalty.	1.2526	0.05389	95	75	16	4
3161	You were both twelve when you met. She’s 102 now - it just isn’t working out. Please sign.	1.2526	0.05593	95	76	14	5
3162	He's giving you half the chew toys.	1.2525	0.05245	99	78	17	4
3163	He gets the dog dish, hereinafter called the "food dish," and the leash. You get the water dish and the fleas.	1.2525	0.05624	99	80	13	6
3164	Sir, my client asks you to be a good boy now and please signs these papers.	1.2525	0.05044	99	77	19	3
3165	I'm afraid your resume doesn't pass the smell test.	1.2525	0.05245	99	78	17	4
3166	Listen, he understands why you did it, but keeping them in a jar over the fireplace has caused considerable pain and suffering.	1.2525	0.05044	99	77	19	3
3167	You can have the car, but he keeps the couch. And that is his final offer.	1.2525	0.05245	99	78	17	4
3168	Under one paper is a million bucks. Under the other, a dog bone. You pick first.	1.2525	0.05438	99	79	15	5
3169	He wants to keep this amicable. All he wants is the doghouse & his chewy bone.	1.2525	0.05044	99	77	19	3
3170	My client believes this settlement offer is more than fair,given his years of faithful service.	1.2525	0.05438	99	79	15	5
3171	He’s fine with you’re getting the puppies on alternating weekends and holiday. In return he requires exclusive rights to chase the squirrels in the yard for perpetuity.”	1.2524	0.05110	103	81	18	4
3172	She’s willing to let you keep the leash, but the slippers are non-negotiable.	1.2524	0.04723	103	79	22	2
3173	They say every dog has his day; this one also gets the house	1.2524	0.04723	103	79	22	2
3174	He wants the ranch in Wyoming.	1.2523	0.04985	107	84	19	4
3175	We need you to stipulate that he is a good boy.	1.2523	0.04985	107	84	19	4
3176	Sign here and you’ll just be friends.	1.2523	0.05034	111	88	18	5
3177	His instructions are explicit: you only get to keep the doghouse.	1.2523	0.05194	111	89	16	6
3178	Now, you understand that this divorce means that Fido owns 50% of all you own.	1.2523	0.04868	111	87	20	4
3179	Bingo will, of course, maintain full custody of the children.	1.2523	0.05034	111	88	18	5
3180	It's a "Pre-Puptial" contract, it covers the main terms: Diet, Exercise & Grooming.	1.2521	0.04806	119	94	20	5
3181	It's a letter of separation, your required to stay a minimum of a leash length apart	1.2520	0.04703	123	97	21	5
3182	This settlement agreement leaves you in the actual doghouse.	1.2500	0.05705	92	74	13	5
3183	He looks cuddly, but he's a vicious legal beagle.	1.2500	0.05046	84	64	19	1
3184	My client stipulates he wants only one thing in the separation. Your testicles.	1.2500	0.05883	88	71	12	5
3185	If you're lying, Coco will sniff you out.	1.2500	0.05046	84	64	19	1
3186	It says he's leaving everything to his "Best Friend".	1.2500	0.06077	84	68	11	5
3187	In addition to twice-daily walks, Boopsie requests on-demand treats. That's why she calls it a pre-sup."	1.2500	0.05046	84	64	19	1
3188	Part of the deal is your parents wanted the dog to live out his life in the country, so you will have to relocate.	1.2500	0.05705	92	74	13	5
3189	And this document specifies that all assets will be split evenly between you and Mister Marbles.	1.2500	0.05585	84	66	15	3
3190	As per our latest proposal, you would be able to restrict, exceptionally, freedom to move outside, however freedom to bark, especially at complete strangers, is not negotiable.	1.2500	0.05270	92	72	17	3
3191	He won't agree to be "man's best friend," but he will be your loyal companion under the terms set out in paragraph 4.	1.2500	0.05130	96	75	18	3
3192	You can keep all the bones he buried. He just wants out	1.2500	0.04795	92	70	21	1
3193	Mr. Waffles has decided he no longer adheres to the pack mentality.	1.2500	0.05506	72	55	16	1
3194	Write down the lowest figure you'd be willing to accept on one sheet, the amount you think you're really worth on another, ball them both up and toss them across the room. Whichever one she fetches will be your salary.	1.2500	0.05492	92	73	15	4
3195	And finally, Max agrees to quit lifting his leg on the loveseat,if you agree to never wear that shirt again in public.	1.2500	0.05837	84	67	13	4
3196	He wants to do a credit check prior before the adoption	1.2500	0.05130	96	75	18	3
3197	Under this settlement you may respond to future reference checks with only a statement that my client was a "good boy."	1.2500	0.05270	92	72	17	3
3198	He said you can have the frisbee but he gets the lion with one leg.	1.2500	0.05067	104	82	18	4
3199	Our furry, new President is making a few changes, and so...	1.2500	0.04684	104	80	22	2
3200	Under the dog years statute, Mitzi is old enough to sign.	1.2500	0.05322	84	65	17	2
3201	Standards are different for work-from-office employees.	1.2500	0.05175	88	68	18	2
3202	Fido feels his name is both trite and common. He asks that you consider the latin Fidēs and remember to update his tags.	1.2500	0.04944	108	85	19	4
3203	ou'll get to choose your own assignments when you're as good at undercover as Jackson here is.	1.2500	0.05541	96	77	14	5
3204	Although he is separating from you, Oscar will retain visitation rights with your girlfriend.	1.2500	0.05837	84	67	13	4
3205	He'll go for the neutering if you ditch the kibble.	1.2500	0.05483	80	62	16	2
3206	He says its time to cut to the chase.	1.2500	0.05421	88	69	16	3
3207	We won't quibble, but we want kibble.	1.2500	0.04301	112	85	26	1
3208	The clause on barking is non-negotiable.	1.2500	0.04830	112	88	20	4
3209	I'm afraid a paw print is legally binding.	1.2500	0.04916	88	67	20	1
3210	We’re going to need these documents back ASPCA.	1.2500	0.05492	92	73	15	4
3211	Once you sign the non-disclosure agreement, you agree not to speak about or write an account of the leg-humping incident in any medium, at any point in the future.	1.2500	0.05198	100	79	17	4
3212	Just state: "I am a bad dog".	1.2500	0.05130	96	75	18	3
3213	The supper dish and the small couch. Otherwise we go to court.	1.2500	0.05270	92	72	17	3
3214	And here is your copy of the pre-pupual agreement	1.2500	0.05492	92	73	15	4
3215	Let's see if your answers match.	1.2500	0.05483	80	62	16	2
3216	Well, irreconcilable differences can include lack of daily fresh water in his bowl.	1.2500	0.05322	84	65	17	2
3217	So do you agree to always throw the tennis ball for Fido to fetch?	1.2500	0.04388	108	87	17	4
3218	The number on this paper is going to seem like a very large number; but, when you consider the price of cleaning pee out of all your carpets, it’s going to seem like a very reasonable number…	1.2500	0.05038	92	71	19	2
3219	Our claim is that you threw balls and sticks and asked him to retrieve them. And when he ran and got them for you, you just threw them again. This made his life very humiliating and, in his own words, ‘ruff! ruff! ruff!’ "	1.2500	0.05000	100	78	19	3
3220	Your mother made him her sole heir, but he’s giving you the doghouse.	1.2500	0.05046	84	64	19	1
3221	Rover can lead you to the more promising opportunities, but you will have to exploit them yourself.	1.2500	0.05322	84	65	17	2
3222	Here are the points to remind you how a young man like you can some day become a success like me.	1.2500	0.05046	84	64	19	1
3223	Well, this is Subaru after all.	1.2500	0.05421	88	69	16	3
3224	Mr. Spangles agrees to sell his doghouse as part of a mixed retail and low-income kennel development.	1.2500	0.05067	104	82	18	4
3225	If Bentley doesn’t bark, we’ll have a deal.	1.2500	0.04911	96	74	20	2
3226	Don't be nervous. Fido is here to help.	1.2500	0.05130	96	75	18	3
3227	Roscoe says that you can have what's under my right hand, or take your chances, and trade for the pile under my left.	1.2500	0.05657	88	70	14	4
3228	Of course, you’ll have to waive the flea.	1.2500	0.05483	80	62	16	2
3229	``Let's recap. You drop the name Pickles. She chooses her own name. Or she walks. Are we clear?''	1.2500	0.04916	88	67	20	1
3230	I’m sorry but you’ll have to add at least two more bones to the end of that number.	1.2500	0.05186	80	61	18	1
3231	Fido won't be your dog again until you graduate from obedience school.	1.2500	0.05389	100	80	15	5
3232	Don't take offense He just not into the "mans best friend" thing.	1.2500	0.05270	92	72	17	3
3233	He's a woofer but not a tweeter.	1.2500	0.05764	80	63	14	3
3234	I'm afraid Maxx here is replacing you we wanted to be more inclusive this year.	1.2500	0.05067	104	82	18	4
3235	And how many years of crate training did you say you completed?	1.2500	0.04684	104	80	22	2
3236	Mr. Chips gets the girl and you are to stay 50 leashes away from him at all times.	1.2500	0.04267	104	78	26	0
3237	My client demands full custody of the stuffed squirrel.	1.2500	0.05322	84	65	17	2
3238	A lifetime of unconditional love and playful affection in exchange for two bowls of dry kibble per day. That's the final offer. Take it or Leave it.	1.2500	0.05483	80	62	16	2
3239	We believe this a very reasonable settlement given the years of your relationship with the cute neighbor's cat.	1.2500	0.05339	76	58	17	1
3240	I'm afraid my client is immovable: There is no amount of treats or skritches that will change her mind on the Bath issue.	1.2500	0.05883	88	71	12	5
3241	Thirty bones per month and a fire hydrant in the Hamptons. That's the offer	1.2500	0.05658	76	59	15	2
3242	You must have misheard. I didn’t say that my services were “pro bono.”	1.2500	0.04942	124	100	17	7
3243	This job is "ruff," don't accept this position.	1.2500	0.05130	96	75	18	3
3244	I'm warning you, he's a little terrier.	1.2500	0.05339	96	76	16	4
3245	You get the vacation house. He gets the doghouse.	1.2500	0.05067	104	82	18	4
3246	Under the terms of this agreement, both parties will refrain from from discussing who's a good girl for a period of 20 years.	1.2500	0.05690	68	52	15	1
3247	These are my billable hours working on the pet adoption.	1.2500	0.05658	76	59	15	2
3248	Mr. Biggles is also requesting possession of all squeaky toys, including his prized hedgehog.	1.2500	0.04660	112	87	22	3
3249	My client is willing to give up the children and the cat in exchange for the property upstate.	1.2500	0.05764	80	63	14	3
3250	Fluffy wants you to have a vasectomy.	1.2500	0.05421	88	69	16	3
3251	You need to sign here - can someone fetch me a pen?	1.2500	0.06289	80	65	10	5
3252	It's not essential but he wants to be sure you can read street sign language."	1.2500	0.05883	88	71	12	5
3253	So it’s agreed then… you get the penthouse apartment and he gets the fire hydrants on Main Street	1.2500	0.05585	84	66	15	3
3254	And finally, she keeps your slippers.	1.2500	0.05421	88	69	16	3
3255	My client is willing to continue being your pet for this amount...and not a penny less.	1.2500	0.04916	88	67	20	1
3256	This may sound ruff.	1.2500	0.05421	88	69	16	3
3257	He doesn't want the trampoline!	1.2500	0.04911	96	74	20	2
3258	Doggie Bags are non-negotiable.	1.2500	0.05186	80	61	18	1
3259	This is our final offer--but as part of the standard due diligence, you may sniff my client's butt.	1.2500	0.05322	84	65	17	2
3260	He tells me that YOU need paper-training.	1.2500	0.05186	80	61	18	1
3261	Your pawprint goes here.	1.2500	0.04879	104	81	20	3
3262	My client would like to,and I'm quoting,take you for all the money you're worth and then some. Good news though,he wants you to have the cat.	1.2500	0.06248	76	61	11	4
3263	Don't take it personally, he's related to the boss.	1.2500	0.05658	76	59	15	2
3264	The NDA is mandatory.	1.2500	0.05000	100	78	19	3
3265	You should have thought about that before bringing a cat into the relationship.	1.2500	0.06033	80	64	12	4
3266	My client is willing to concede the couch to you, but he wants to keep all of the treats.	1.2500	0.05130	96	75	18	3
3267	My client is willing to give you full ownership of the house but wants custody of all jars of peanut butter, the blue sock with the, and I quote, "yellow ducky on it," as well as visiting rights with the corner of your living room couch.	1.2500	0.05067	104	82	18	4
3268	Puffy from HR is in charge of our " Special Treats" incentive plan.	1.2500	0.05658	76	59	15	2
3269	When this is through you'll be living in the doghouse.	1.2500	0.04794	100	77	21	2
3270	My client hopes that you and he can remain best friends	1.2500	0.05130	96	75	18	3
3271	And if he predeceases you, he leaves you his bowl, leash and tags	1.2500	0.05421	88	69	16	3
3272	So yes,you sign it and he,as you say, “tinkles” on it.	1.2500	0.05492	92	73	15	4
3273	My client says, and I quote, “Woof.”	1.2500	0.05186	80	61	18	1
3274	Champ hopes you will remain the best of friends.	1.2500	0.05585	84	66	15	3
3275	Time to put paw to paper	1.2500	0.05585	84	66	15	3
3276	Can you confirm the allegation that you bit first?	1.2500	0.05046	84	64	19	1
3277	This will just be the ruff draft.	1.2500	0.06063	68	53	13	2
3278	Pre-Pup-tuials are ubiquitous these days, and I think you will find his demands are beyond reasonable for his pedigree.	1.2500	0.05585	84	66	15	3
3279	He gets to choose the dog walking times and routes 5 days per week and you get to choose on the other two days.	1.2500	0.06248	76	61	11	4
3280	There's a number on this paper. I suggest you take it.	1.2479	0.04588	121	95	22	4
3281	You'll apprentice with him for a year.	1.2478	0.04792	113	89	20	4
3282	Loser gets the cat…pick a card	1.2477	0.04728	109	85	21	3
3283	She has final approval, so be sure to say ‘good dog!’ before you leave.	1.2477	0.04904	109	86	19	4
3284	She will have full custody of the pups	1.2477	0.04354	109	83	25	1
3285	No, he doesn't come with a poop scooper.	1.2477	0.04544	109	84	23	2
3286	Of course, Rex will get the doghouse.	1.2477	0.04728	109	85	21	3
3287	My client has rejected your offer to return to the office.	1.2476	0.05203	105	84	16	5
3288	He can be a bit of a ruff negotiator.	1.2476	0.04645	105	81	22	2
3289	This NDA covers spots on the carpet. Rover didn't do it, ever!	1.2475	0.05152	101	80	17	4
3290	My client will give up chewing on your slippers if you give him daily belly rubs.	1.2475	0.05341	101	81	15	5
3291	Either he gets the cat or tells all.	1.2475	0.05341	101	81	15	5
3292	We already have his paw print. All you need to do is sign both copies.	1.2475	0.04752	101	78	21	2
3293	This document merely confirms that it’s Bowser who has owned you all along.	1.2475	0.04539	101	77	23	1
3294	Your mother bequeathed her entire estate to Fido, but you do get the title to her 1983 Buick Skylark”	1.2475	0.04956	101	79	19	3
3295	He wishes to emancipate his emotional support status	1.2474	0.05290	97	77	16	4
3296	Just sign this rescue contract and she'll take you to your new home.	1.2474	0.04867	97	75	20	2
3297	Woofie needs to submit an interview for his dog school project. These are the questions.	1.2474	0.05682	97	79	12	6
3298	Fido proposes 80/20 joint custody of the cat and your wife in lieu of monthly treats.	1.2474	0.05083	97	76	18	3
3299	Toby needs you to commit to three walks every day and a milk-bone for morning snack.	1.2474	0.04404	97	73	24	0
3300	Ruff and I are asking you to sign this resignation letter. We feel that your lack of petting indicates an anti-social unawareness.	1.2474	0.05290	97	77	16	4
3301	My client has filed for legal separation and is requesting to retain possession of the name labeled supper dish and matching water bowl, all the chew toys, your left bedroom slipper and the living room sofa-and none of this is negotiable.	1.2474	0.05290	97	77	16	4
3302	'I use the extra finger in case the Mob comes to collect. The dog can sense 'em.'	1.2474	0.05682	97	79	12	6
3303	He wants restorative justice - same food, sleep on your bed, nap on the couch and he’ll forgive.	1.2474	0.05083	97	76	18	3
3304	Sign here and Fido will assign you your kennel.	1.2474	0.05290	97	77	16	4
3305	We’ll settle for 3 walks a day.	1.2474	0.04642	97	74	22	1
3306	Sniff here, here and pee here.	1.2473	0.05439	93	74	15	4
3307	My client plans on making you heel.	1.2473	0.05220	93	73	17	3
3308	Fetching, rolling over, and licking them is his job. Licking yours is extra.	1.2473	0.05650	93	75	13	5
3309	Mr. Scruffles requests full custody of the tennis ball in question.	1.2473	0.05220	93	73	17	3
3310	So far he's wining in this dog eat dog world.	1.2473	0.05220	93	73	17	3
3311	We decided to add more diversity to our company	1.2473	0.05220	93	73	17	3
3312	I totally agree. A real bitch.	1.2473	0.04991	93	72	19	2
3313	You'll be in the doghouse unless you agree to these terms.	1.2473	0.05220	93	73	17	3
3314	He wants you to promise that you will always walk him and remember to pick up his poop.	1.2473	0.05220	93	73	17	3
3315	My client claims that you're no longer his good boy.	1.2473	0.05220	93	73	17	3
3316	Don’t worry, he’s just my support assistant	1.2473	0.05650	93	75	13	5
3317	The dog will ask the questions...you can write your answers down on this pad.	1.2472	0.05124	89	69	18	2
3318	He'll be your new boss and yes, as he said, the job will be RUFFF.	1.2472	0.05824	89	72	12	5
3319	We've agreed to the corner office and you can bring your dog to work. Now, please come back to the office.	1.2472	0.05600	89	71	14	4
3320	He's okay with it except for subsection 5a 'sit and stay'"	1.2472	0.05367	89	70	16	3
3321	The ASPCA requires your paw print to be a valid contract.	1.2472	0.05367	89	70	16	3
3322	Licking yours is extra	1.2472	0.05600	89	71	14	4
3323	...and he wants custody of the cat every other weekend.	1.2472	0.05367	89	70	16	3
3324	Accept this offer or I kill the dog.	1.2472	0.05600	89	71	14	4
3325	The dog is right. Read the manual	1.2472	0.05600	89	71	14	4
3326	My client requests that they keep the wife in the divorce.	1.2472	0.05824	89	72	12	5
3327	You’ll walk him Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays, and he’ll walk you Tuesdays, Thursdays, and weekends.	1.2472	0.05600	89	71	14	4
3328	And as you can see, we as a company pride ourselves on our diverse workforce.	1.2472	0.05124	89	69	18	2
3329	Fido has agreed to let you have custody of the Wife	1.2472	0.05600	89	71	14	4
3330	He requires urination rights on half of the community property.	1.2472	0.05600	89	71	14	4
3331	He wants a good faith acknowledgement that the concept of best friend is mutual and conditional.	1.2472	0.05600	89	71	14	4
3332	If we’re satisfied with your answers then we’ll give you a biscuit.	1.2472	0.04599	89	67	22	0
3333	Per the pre-rescue agreement, Sadie is entitled to 50% of all shoe, sock, and tennis ball assets.	1.2472	0.05600	89	71	14	4
3334	And this is the standard pre-pup agreement we discussed.	1.2471	0.05268	85	66	17	2
3335	Just sign under the paw mark.	1.2471	0.04995	85	65	19	1
3336	Who’s a good boy? You are! You’re a good boy!	1.2471	0.06013	85	69	11	5
3337	My client insists that you sign a pre-pup.	1.2471	0.05268	85	66	17	2
3338	This is my client’s final offer: throw him a bone or take a walk.	1.2471	0.04995	85	65	19	1
3339	He wants first dibs on whatever food falls on the floor.	1.2471	0.05268	85	66	17	2
3340	He's demanding your signature "on the papers".	1.2471	0.05268	85	66	17	2
3341	Adoption is based on whether you honor his need to run with the big dogs on the Street	1.2471	0.04995	85	65	19	1
3342	My client insists on three walks a day and no jogging, or else he’ll look for another owner!	1.2471	0.04706	85	64	21	0
3343	Here is our offer: He will stop humping your leg if you give up 3/4 of the bed	1.2471	0.05268	85	66	17	2
3344	Write down a number. And it had better make our tails wag.	1.2471	0.05775	85	68	13	4
3345	No further legal action will be taken against you if you admit the ball was never thrown. Please sign here.	1.2471	0.05527	85	67	15	3
3346	Did you, or did you not call Maggie a "bad girl" on at least two occasions? (I hope I can submit this today, Monday, because I just received the New Yorker about an hour ago on January 3 so it is impossible for me to be on time.)	1.2471	0.05652	85	70	10	5
3347	And this one assures your compliance in using my client's preferred pronouns.	1.2471	0.06013	85	69	11	5
3348	If you could please sign your dog’s emancipation agreement	1.2471	0.05527	85	67	15	3
3349	We're a mixed breed here. Can you adapt?	1.2471	0.05268	85	66	17	2
3350	I agree, the bite needs to feel more like the bark.	1.2471	0.05527	85	67	15	3
3351	You get the chew toys. He gets the house.	1.2471	0.05527	85	67	15	3
3352	Donald says you'r fired!	1.2471	0.05268	85	66	17	2
3353	And lastly,these are my client’s conditions for custody of the Roomba.	1.2471	0.05268	85	66	17	2
3354	It's a petnup.	1.2469	0.05424	81	63	16	2
3355	My client will testify not guilty to urinating on your mattress.	1.2469	0.05424	81	63	16	2
3356	And furthermore, my client, Mr. Fido, refuses to entertain you with endless and needlessly repetitious games of fetch.	1.2469	0.05701	81	64	14	3
3357	My client keeps me on a short leash."	1.2469	0.05131	81	62	18	1
3358	Here are your visitation rights for the puppies.	1.2469	0.05701	81	64	14	3
3359	According to your wife, his house will now become yours....	1.2469	0.06219	81	66	10	5
3360	I need you to train him to take over for you	1.2469	0.05701	81	64	14	3
3361	I must inform you that, despite all your tough talk, my client senses your fear.	1.2469	0.05424	81	63	16	2
3362	Your answers were too dogmatic.	1.2469	0.06219	81	66	10	5
3363	Word of advice - don't reach for the pencil.	1.2469	0.05701	81	64	14	3
3364	I can't believe you hired a lawyer!	1.2469	0.05131	81	62	18	1
3365	My client would like to have it in writing that you relinquish rights to all food that falls of the table before agreeing to be a 'good boy'.	1.2469	0.05424	81	63	16	2
3366	Pain, suffering, and he'll never get to hump that poodle next door.	1.2469	0.05424	81	63	16	2
3367	As his interpreter, when my client says "woof" he means "For godsakes deworm me," and "bow-wow" means, "like, today."	1.2469	0.05424	81	63	16	2
3368	This states you agree to stop using the phrase 'a dog's breakfast.'	1.2469	0.05424	81	63	16	2
3369	Here is the "good boy" palimony terms!	1.2469	0.05966	81	65	12	4
3370	Don’t worry. This is an ironclad prepup.	1.2469	0.05701	81	64	14	3
3371	My client wants 24/7 access to the couch, regular tummy rubs, and if he gets neutered, you do too.	1.2468	0.06175	77	62	11	4
3372	Barkley wants to keep the house, and let you have the car.	1.2468	0.06175	77	62	11	4
3373	He’s entitled to half of everything—which should be easy since he tore everything in half.	1.2468	0.05891	77	61	13	3
3374	Doggone it, this is my highest offer!	1.2468	0.05891	77	61	13	3
3375	He's the boss, I'm just the H.R guy.	1.2468	0.04945	77	58	19	0
3376	Sparky says you can keep the house and pool, but he gets the yard.	1.2468	0.04945	77	58	19	0
3377	Woof woof. Arf. Ruff arf wuff. Woof.	1.2468	0.05891	77	61	13	3
3378	Your wife keeps the dog, but you get access twice a week.	1.2468	0.05594	77	60	15	2
3379	I didn't say that he would be replacing you. I just said that I want you to train him.	1.2468	0.05891	77	61	13	3
3380	And you both will get visitation privileges with your wife.	1.2468	0.05891	77	61	13	3
3381	... and one last thing Jeff, Nico gets the friends from the dog park in the settlement.	1.2468	0.06175	77	62	11	4
3382	His keeping the title of "best friend" is non-negotiable.	1.2468	0.05891	77	61	13	3
3383	My client requests that you sign this leash agreement form.	1.2466	0.05441	73	56	16	1
3384	And this demand reads "Woof woof! Grrrr!" I don't know what it means either but as long as he keeps paying my fees, I don't care.	1.2466	0.06101	73	58	12	3
3385	Fifi wants the house, … and a lifetime supply of kibbles.	1.2466	0.05441	73	56	16	1
3386	My client buried the bones. They are his separate property.	1.2466	0.06695	73	60	8	5
3387	If it doesn't work out, he gets the doghouse.	1.2466	0.05780	73	57	14	2
3388	Im sorry, but a jury will never buy your story that you bit Roscoe in self defense.	1.2464	0.05619	69	53	15	1
3389	He just wants the Bitcoin.	1.2458	0.04652	118	93	21	4
3390	Just sign the contract and he’ll agree not to pee on the carpet again.	1.2458	0.04652	118	93	21	4
3391	In my client’s counter proposal, she gets the 401k and you get the buried bones	1.2456	0.04327	114	90	21	3
3392	My client will accept that the poo is his on condition that you admit that he did not eat your homework	1.2456	0.04589	114	89	22	3
3393	Finally, my client demands that you stop referring to him as "good boy." He's twice your age in dog years.	1.2455	0.04865	110	87	19	4
3394	She insists that you go fetch your own pen.	1.2455	0.04865	110	87	19	4
3395	Sign here. Train the dog to do your job. Take the severance check.	1.2455	0.04865	110	87	19	4
3396	You are up against it, Frobisher. We want your paw print on this document --- now!!	1.2453	0.05159	106	85	16	5
3397	Rolling over and licking his balls are his job. Licking yours is extra.	1.2451	0.05294	102	82	15	5
3398	He won’t sign until you agree to wearing a leash too.	1.2451	0.04608	102	81	18	3
3399	Buster would like you to make a list of the furniture that you believe to have been exclusively yours?	1.2451	0.04712	102	79	21	2
3400	We’ve passed begging…these are our demands.	1.2451	0.04914	102	80	19	3
3401	Snuggles is willing to accept $7,500 a month in former best friends payment.	1.2451	0.04712	102	79	21	2
3402	How 'bout this offer?	1.2451	0.04814	102	82	16	4
3403	Max insists on three walks a day.	1.2451	0.04712	102	79	21	2
3404	Feel free to use a hand print to sign.	1.2451	0.04501	102	78	23	1
3405	Where did this come from? Well, it started with you have him neutered.	1.2451	0.05294	102	82	15	5
3406	We’re not promising anything - it’s a doggie dog world in here.	1.2451	0.05107	102	81	17	4
3407	We are just doing interviews right now, but if you are interested in becoming Rover's forever home you must sign and date this legally binding list of requirements and obligations	1.2449	0.05037	98	77	18	3
3408	He wants a guarantee that he will not be neutered.	1.2449	0.05242	98	78	16	4
3409	This is a cease and desist order on the kibbles.	1.2449	0.05439	98	79	14	5
3410	So as soon as you sign the pre-pup agreement, Ralph will be your dog.	1.2449	0.04824	98	76	20	2
3411	She want you to find her pups.	1.2449	0.04824	98	76	20	2
3412	Here's a ruff draft.	1.2449	0.04601	98	75	22	1
3413	He won't settle for anything less than the dog house.	1.2449	0.04824	98	76	20	2
3414	We are excited to have you on board. Spot here will be training you.	1.2447	0.05387	94	75	15	4
3415	I won't ask whether the marriage was consummated or not.	1.2447	0.05596	94	76	13	5
3416	Yep, you’ll get all the bones when he dies.	1.2447	0.05171	94	74	17	3
3417	He’d like to know if you’d have problems picking up and moving on?	1.2447	0.05171	94	74	17	3
3418	You have fifteen minutes to complete the employment aptitude test, which consists of a few business specific problems, sitting up and rolling over.	1.2447	0.05387	94	75	15	4
3419	Her pre-nup is non-negotiable.	1.2447	0.05171	94	74	17	3
3420	My client doesn't want to appear on your zoom call.	1.2447	0.05171	94	74	17	3
3421	If you can tell me in less than a minute what’s on the other side of this card without turning it over, you got the job. Otherwise the dog gets the job. It took him 10 seconds to figure it out.	1.2447	0.05387	94	75	15	4
3422	I don’t think you need to worry about how he dug up my retainer.	1.2447	0.05387	94	75	15	4
3423	He would like, "off the table" to be off the table in this negotiation.	1.2447	0.05171	94	74	17	3
3424	He agrees to drop the ball. You must allow him on the bed except when you have a guest for one hour every week only between Friday 4pm and Sunday at 9 PM (The Guest Hour) during which there will be videos and treats.	1.2447	0.05387	94	75	15	4
3425	He only wants the cat. He's cool with you getting everything else.	1.2447	0.04944	94	73	19	2
3426	My client is prepared to accept whatever makes you happy	1.2444	0.05314	90	71	16	3
3427	Tell us in 50 words or less how you're more lovable than your competition seated across from you.	1.2444	0.05544	90	72	14	4
3428	We just need you to pee on this paper so that Pogo can finish your performance evaluation.	1.2444	0.05544	90	72	14	4
3429	And here, of course, is where you attest that you will provide my client with at least three (3) belly rubs per day.	1.2444	0.05074	90	70	18	2
3430	Giving in about the doggy door was the best thing you could do to save this relationship. Sign here and you can move back in.	1.2444	0.05544	90	72	14	4
3431	You can relieve Rex as the night watchman.	1.2444	0.05314	90	71	16	3
3432	Here are tips for handling your dog’s Oppositional Defiance Disorder	1.2444	0.05544	90	72	14	4
3433	Sign this give a dog a bone clause and this old man goes rolling home.	1.2444	0.05074	90	70	18	2
3434	The dog gets 60%, we get 30%, you get the rest.	1.2444	0.05074	90	70	18	2
3435	Please list your commands which are negotiable.	1.2444	0.04822	90	69	20	1
3436	Sparky has written down this number and hopes that you will negotiate in good faith.	1.2443	0.03768	131	99	32	0
3437	And for major holidays, Cynthia can be with you for Thanksgiving, but Rex gets her for Christmas.	1.2442	0.05715	86	69	13	4
3438	Thank you for your interest, Mr. Scamp. I must tell you we are considering several "Good Boys" for the position.	1.2442	0.05715	86	69	13	4
3439	The terms of the settlement require you to surrender all treats and their known whereabouts immediately.	1.2442	0.05214	86	67	17	2
3440	If you dress him up for Halloween, feed a stray cat or play reruns of Lassie, you will be rehomed.	1.2442	0.05214	86	67	17	2
3441	Yes, but when considering the settlement, in dog years it’s been 42.”	1.2442	0.05214	86	67	17	2
3442	Yes, he's suing you... for Pawternity.	1.2442	0.05470	86	68	15	3
3443	You're allowed one battleship, two cruisers, two destroyers, and a bone.	1.2442	0.04945	86	66	19	1
3444	He’s willing to give up two bones a week in exchange for more yard time. That’s his final offer.	1.2442	0.04945	86	66	19	1
3445	And my client requires that you always refer to him as “a good boy”.	1.2442	0.05470	86	68	15	3
3446	My client does not feel that his meal choices should be limited to the pet food aisle.	1.2442	0.05715	86	69	13	4
3447	Rex gets the house, kids and wife; you keep the car and golf clubs.	1.2442	0.05715	86	69	13	4
3448	She's been trained to attack tenants who break their lease.	1.2442	0.05715	86	69	13	4
3449	My client would like me to reiterate that all of this could have been avoided if you had simply refrained from posting the 'Rufus Figures Out Our Destination is the Vet's Office' video.	1.2442	0.05470	86	68	15	3
3450	It's just a pre-pup agreement to protect both your interests in case of a failure to bond.	1.2442	0.04945	86	66	19	1
3451	He has agreed to supervise you but you must agree to go with him on walks twice a day.	1.2442	0.05470	86	68	15	3
3452	You will keep all the Doge coins and my client will keep all the milk bones.	1.2442	0.05081	86	69	14	3
3453	My client asserts that you were NEVER the "good boy" in the home, and wishes to terminate this uneven relationship.	1.2439	0.05639	82	65	14	3
3454	And you must agree to relinquish tummy rubbing privileges.	1.2439	0.05900	82	66	12	4
3455	My client will let you keep the travel kennel, but she insists on custody of the squeaky toys.	1.2439	0.05366	82	64	16	2
3456	So we've settled on a 50/50 split of all treats, toys, and kibble.	1.2439	0.05366	82	64	16	2
3457	This prenup should keep you both on a short leash.	1.2439	0.05366	82	64	16	2
3458	My client regrets things did not work out. However, as compensation for the two years as your companion he firmly believes he deserves alimony, preferably a modest apartment near a dog park.	1.2439	0.05639	82	65	14	3
3459	I’m afraid he’s insisting on keeping your old slippers.	1.2439	0.05077	82	63	18	1
3460	Yes, this means he is your custodian.	1.2439	0.05900	82	66	12	4
3461	It is not a mistake, your Mother’s last will and testament was incredibly specific.	1.2439	0.05077	82	63	18	1
3462	As a neutral arbiter, I have no dog in this fight	1.2439	0.06390	82	68	8	6
3463	To be fair, I’m giving you the same employment aptitude test that “Sparky” just aced…	1.2439	0.05639	82	65	14	3
3464	He keeps the doghouse.	1.2439	0.05366	82	64	16	2
3465	It's pretty standard. The bowl, the collar, and the couch are his if things go south	1.2439	0.05639	82	65	14	3
3466	Fido refuses to be vaccinated.	1.2439	0.05900	82	66	12	4
3467	My client will give you 49% of Doghouse if you just put your paws on the dotted line.	1.2439	0.04771	82	62	20	0
3468	My client has agreed to keep the doghouse and let you keep the cat.	1.2436	0.05824	78	62	13	3
3469	On behalf of my client I'll ask you one last time, Mr. Wilson, Are You a Good Boy?	1.2436	0.05531	78	61	15	2
3470	Well, you did say that you've pay anything to have the smartest dog in the world.	1.2436	0.05824	78	62	13	3
3471	Fred here will help you learn how to get along better with people.	1.2436	0.06103	78	63	11	4
3472	She wants the house,Roger	1.2436	0.05531	78	61	15	2
3473	He takes the doghouse, you keep the rest.	1.2436	0.05824	78	62	13	3
3474	Under this agreement you will provide two nourishing meals per day, plus treats, and you will absorb all veterinary expenses; Sparky will provide 24 hour surveillance, fetch your slippers as required and will no longer chew up the newspaper.	1.2432	0.06327	74	60	10	4
3475	This agreement states that our firm will represent you for one-third of the award when we win, plus a box of cheesy treats for our senior partner Mr. Bowser.	1.2432	0.06027	74	59	12	3
3476	Listen Jack, your wife agreed to not ask for alimony only if she got to keep the dog.	1.2432	0.05711	74	58	14	2
3477	Fido has written down all the pros and cons of living with you - now its your turn to write down your views on the same	1.2432	0.04286	111	85	25	1
3478	Pedigree is not everything,but his Bite is better than your bark.	1.2432	0.06027	74	59	12	3
3479	He plans on keeping the house, one of the children, and the diamond collar from Tiffany and Co.	1.2432	0.06327	74	60	10	4
3480	You have a great resume - but Scruffy seems to be a better fit for us. Please accept this finder's fee.	1.2432	0.04826	111	88	19	4
3481	Yes, pet adoption is different these days. Now if you'll just sign this prenup, we'll be all set.	1.2432	0.06027	74	59	12	3
3482	Due to our interest in diversity, we decided to give Fido the job.	1.2432	0.05378	74	57	16	1
3483	Being a trusted friend is important but perhaps not the only factor you should consider in appointing a health care proxy.	1.2432	0.06027	74	59	12	3
3484	My client prefers “cat eat cat world.”	1.2432	0.06327	74	60	10	4
3485	You are being sewed for yelling at my client to get off the couch.	1.2432	0.05378	74	57	16	1
3486	Under this NDA, you are forbidden from disclosing Mr. Wuff’s various predilections.	1.2432	0.04473	111	86	23	2
3487	I regret to tell you that Roverina will have full custody of the children , but you will have alternate weekend visitation rights.	1.2432	0.06027	74	59	12	3
3488	...and finally, all doors should have handles rather than knobs. My client should no longer be penalised for his lack of opposable thumbs	1.2432	0.06027	74	59	12	3
3489	Counter offer: yearly baths and you can’t call him poopie in public	1.2430	0.04940	107	85	18	4
3490	You're not to use his likeness on Hinge anymore.	1.2430	0.04759	107	84	20	3
3491	I'm afraid that two walks a day is as low as my client is prepared to go.	1.2429	0.05910	70	55	13	2
3492	Let me get this straight. You're complaining that Frankie has legal representation and you don't? He's a dog for crying out loud!	1.2429	0.05549	70	54	15	1
3493	Fido has prepared his prerequisite list of needs prior to adoption	1.2429	0.05910	70	55	13	2
3494	He’s willing to give up the house in exchange for the chew toy.	1.2429	0.06251	70	56	11	3
3495	Of course he got the promotion. He’s been a better boy than you”	1.2429	0.06574	70	57	9	4
3496	Fine - you keep your wife, but he gets the milk bones.	1.2429	0.06881	70	58	7	5
3497	If you want to keep the wife, he gets the house.	1.2429	0.05910	70	55	13	2
3498	Dammit,Jim! I’m a stockbroker, not a veterinarian.	1.2427	0.04871	103	81	19	3
3499	He insists on a Prepuptual that his eating times and walks will be at his leisure and any trips to the Vet comes with a 2-week notice.	1.2424	0.06849	66	54	8	4
3500	We want to be sure there is no feline influence in your work."	1.2424	0.04561	99	76	22	1
3501	Don't push your luck. He always wins in dog-eat-dog business."	1.2424	0.05578	99	81	12	6
3502	Rusty is aware of your intent to have him neutered. I've filed a Petition for Emancipation with the court at his request.	1.2424	0.05390	99	80	14	5
3503	However, my client’s settlement would also include bacon.	1.2424	0.05390	99	80	14	5
3504	She says the booties are a deal breaker.	1.2424	0.06849	66	54	8	4
3505	Do you want to use his pen?	1.2421	0.05337	95	76	15	4
3506	He wants the doghouse, all the dog toys and visiting rights with the cat.	1.2421	0.04899	95	74	19	2
3507	Your dog is better dressed and prepared than you!	1.2421	0.04899	95	74	19	2
3508	I understand your disappointment, but your Auntie Louisa was totally unambiguous. Fluffy is her sole beneficiary.	1.2421	0.05122	95	75	17	3
3509	The financial issue is the easy part. It's the emotional separation that is the hard part about divorce.	1.2421	0.05337	95	76	15	4
3510	My client refuses surgery and is suing for emancipation unless you agree to the same procedure on yourself.	1.2421	0.05542	95	77	13	5
3511	All those 3 a.m. walks do mean something, but not that much.	1.2421	0.04418	95	72	23	0
3512	Can we go over the return policy one more time.	1.2421	0.05542	95	77	13	5
3513	Congratulations on a good year’s work, but we would like you to work on your retrieval skills so here’s a paper to help, written by our chairdog.	1.2421	0.05337	95	76	15	4
3514	So that's the final stipulation:: you get to keep the house and he gets to keep the dog house	1.2421	0.04899	95	74	19	2
3515	Bottom line, my client wants you to take a walk.	1.2418	0.05025	91	71	18	2
3516	My client was not read his rights before being interrogated about the pie incident.	1.2418	0.05918	91	75	10	6
3517	He said you can keep the dog house.	1.2418	0.05490	91	73	14	4
3518	From this day forward, no new tricks.	1.2418	0.05025	91	71	18	2
3519	During this phase of the interview, my associate will help determine if good boy.	1.2418	0.05708	91	74	12	5
3520	It's always a question of who gets the doghouse.	1.2418	0.05490	91	73	14	4
3521	My client agrees to shared custody of the ball.	1.2418	0.05025	91	71	18	2
3522	Her menu demands are non-negotiable.	1.2418	0.05490	91	73	14	4
3523	I hope you don't have any issues with sharing your office.	1.2418	0.05263	91	72	16	3
3524	You are the number 2 choice.	1.2418	0.05025	91	71	18	2
3525	It's a dog eat dog offer.	1.2418	0.05263	91	72	16	3
3526	Now that your best friend has signed, I'll need your paw print.	1.2418	0.04513	91	69	22	0
3527	And, if he hears you say the word 'walk,' he expects a walk.	1.2418	0.04776	91	70	20	1
3528	Time for your annual chance to view my view. Enjoy!	1.2418	0.05490	91	73	14	4
3529	Can you re-sign please? My client pee’d all over the last set.	1.2418	0.05025	91	71	18	2
3530	Identify which pad holds the pee and the dog is yours!	1.2418	0.05263	91	72	16	3
3531	Actually, Jeffrey is very attached to the couch, and we feel that it would be more equitable if you take the dog house.	1.2417	0.04427	120	94	23	3
3532	40 belly rubs and a pair of dress shoes and my client will take his flea medicine. That's our final offer.	1.2414	0.04895	87	67	19	1
3533	To start,my client, Poopsie McPoopface, is demanding all naming rights.	1.2414	0.05656	87	70	13	4
3534	He'll give you custody of the cat, but he gets the house.	1.2414	0.05414	87	69	15	3
3535	Sign here if you agree to work in the office without pajamas.	1.2414	0.05161	87	68	17	2
3536	First, he'd like to take a look at your portfolio.	1.2414	0.05161	87	68	17	2
3537	If you’ll write an apology and never again summon him using the phrase ‘Here, boy!’ HR says we can consider this resolved	1.2414	0.05161	87	68	17	2
3538	One walk, two belly rubs a day. No cats. Standard pre-pup"	1.2414	0.05887	87	71	11	5
3539	Look, he's throwing you a bone here. Sign it!	1.2414	0.04895	87	67	19	1
3540	He's adopting you.	1.2414	0.05414	87	69	15	3
3541	You can keep the house but he wants the Tesla.	1.2414	0.04614	87	66	21	0
3542	He could take your home, your savings, and half of your material possessions. But he’s willing to settle. He’s a good boy.	1.2414	0.05161	87	68	17	2
3543	Finally, my client insists that you sign this NDA regarding his relationship with your Snuggie.	1.2414	0.04614	87	66	21	0
3544	Let’s not make this ruffer than it has to be.	1.2414	0.05414	87	69	15	3
3545	Breach of contract is also incurred for any false throws of any (a) spherical, (b) circular, (c) or stick shaped objects.	1.2414	0.05656	87	70	13	4
3546	Who smelt it dealt it” is not a legal defense her	1.2414	0.04895	87	67	19	1
3547	This is the standard reciprocal "dogs best friend rider".	1.2414	0.05656	87	70	13	4
3548	All my client wants is the dog.	1.2414	0.04895	87	67	19	1
3549	Look, Max isn't the first dog I've seen who wants to establish some boundaries with his human. After two years of pandemic, he just wants a little "me" time, less petting, and to see other dogs once in a while."	1.2414	0.05656	87	70	13	4
3550	You inherit the primary residence, Pinot gets the pied-à-terre.	1.2410	0.06083	83	68	10	5
3551	Clover didn't appreciate your joke about 'pet peeves' in your second interview. Best of luck in your search.	1.2410	0.05836	83	67	12	4
3552	Sure she's a bitch, but she is getting half your assets.	1.2410	0.05309	83	65	16	2
3553	look, its simple, i get the dog, you bang my wife	1.2410	0.05024	83	64	18	1
3554	My client maintains that withholding games of fetch constitutes a breach of contract.	1.2410	0.05579	83	66	14	3
3555	Fetch" is degrading to my client. He prefers, "Reclaim if so inclined.	1.2410	0.05579	83	66	14	3
3556	This completes the settlement. You get your primary home and he gets the beach house.	1.2410	0.05309	83	65	16	2
3557	My client is willing to drop this if the squeaky toy is replaced.	1.2410	0.05024	83	64	18	1
3558	He says all you have to do is sign this formal agreement and he'll let you use the remote two nights a week.	1.2410	0.05309	83	65	16	2
3559	In exchange for the condo on Lexington and the Subaru, you get to keep all the cat videos.	1.2410	0.05836	83	67	12	4
3560	He wants the condo, too.	1.2410	0.05579	83	66	14	3
3561	We're very close to an agreement, but we do need it in writing that my client is the best and cutest doggie in the whole wide world.	1.2410	0.06083	83	68	10	5
3562	My client has already marked his territory. Now, it's your turn.	1.2410	0.05579	83	66	14	3
3563	She wants the cat.	1.2410	0.05836	83	67	12	4
3564	He says that he is willing to be your best friend, but only under the following terms and conditions.	1.2410	0.05836	83	67	12	4
3565	My client is willing to 'sit' and 'shake,' but he draws the line at 'beg.'	1.2410	0.05024	83	64	18	1
3566	He won't budge on the beach house.	1.2410	0.05579	83	66	14	3
3567	Benji say no pre-nup, no leash. Take it leave it.	1.2410	0.05309	83	65	16	2
3568	I'm sorry sir, but this is my client's final offer. Twice the amount of treats per day, or Mr. Fuzzytail walks.	1.2410	0.05579	83	66	14	3
3569	In exchange for two biscuits a day, my client agrees to cease chewing shoes immediately.	1.2410	0.05309	83	65	16	2
3570	This is your offer from Fido - take it or he walks	1.2410	0.05024	83	64	18	1
3571	write i love dogs 999 times	1.2407	0.04900	108	86	18	4
3572	He says you're entitled to twenty-eight days of severance pay. Or in your case, four."	1.2407	0.04720	108	85	20	3
3573	Traditionally, the human owns the dog. But I see no legal objections to Alfie's demand.	1.2407	0.04533	108	84	22	2
3574	The terms are ruff	1.2407	0.04720	108	85	20	3
3575	...which leaves you in the actual doghouse.	1.2405	0.06033	79	64	11	4
3576	My client says you've been peeing on his lawn.	1.2405	0.06297	79	65	9	5
3577	Guess which hand has the best news	1.2405	0.05758	79	63	13	3
3578	You can keep the house and the car. All my client requests is a signed acknowledgment that he is a good boy.	1.2405	0.05758	79	63	13	3
3579	Frenchy is asking for joint custody of all tennis balls.	1.2405	0.05469	79	62	15	2
3580	And lastly, we have our standard pre-nip agreement …	1.2405	0.05469	79	62	15	2
3581	As a pet-friendly company, Fido here will tell me if you're the best candidate for our Human Resources department.	1.2405	0.05469	79	62	15	2
3582	You will have to pass Jackson's sniff test.	1.2405	0.05758	79	63	13	3
3583	She gets the pups and palimony. You can have the doghouse and the cat.	1.2405	0.05469	79	62	15	2
3584	And, this one outlines the revised feeding schedule.	1.2404	0.04427	104	80	23	1
3585	Please identify any and all "good boys."	1.2404	0.04427	104	80	23	1
3586	Bow-wow. Woof. Growl …	1.2404	0.05379	104	85	13	6
3587	You can keep the shredded pillow and your slippers, but my client is requesting the sprinkler.	1.2404	0.05020	104	83	17	4
3588	Im sorry. You never scratched him in the right place.	1.2404	0.04830	104	82	19	3
3589	You give her her own bank account and go back to top of the line dog food and she will go back to pretending that she loves you.	1.2404	0.04830	104	82	19	3
3590	It just didn't work out this time, your best friend is out there though.	1.2404	0.04830	104	82	19	3
3591	My name is Mr. Anthony and I represent John Beresford Tipton Jr. He went broke last week and wants you to have his dog. You were almost rich. Count yourself lucky.	1.2404	0.05020	104	83	17	4
3592	Please sign by the paw print.	1.2404	0.05202	104	84	15	5
3593	Guess who's headed to the doghouse now.	1.2404	0.04633	104	81	21	2
3594	He has agreed to all of your demands except for the continued use of the word fetch.”	1.2400	0.04740	100	78	20	2
3595	Now you talk about the cat.	1.2400	0.05955	75	60	12	3
3596	He asks, if you are hired, can you jump through hoops?	1.2400	0.05955	75	60	12	3
3597	This ownership contract is good for about 15 years, or 105 years to him.	1.2400	0.05315	75	58	16	1
3598	Sorry, to meet our diversity goals your promotion wasn't approved and Rusty here will become our first Schnauzer Vice President.	1.2400	0.04948	100	79	18	3
3599	My client’s counter offer is unlimited bed privileges and 3 meals a day.	1.2400	0.05315	75	58	16	1
3600	Her demands are clear: no doggy couture, no cutesy names, and absolutely no kissing on the lips.	1.2400	0.05315	75	58	16	1
3601	Sign here, and my client agrees to drop the tennis ball.	1.2400	0.04948	100	79	18	3
3602	It's a win-win...accept his sovereignty and you can deliver mail unhindered.	1.2400	0.04740	100	78	20	2
3603	I’m sorry, but that’s non-negotiable: Trixie keeps all the bones she accumulated before you were married.	1.2400	0.05644	75	59	14	2
3604	Actually, my client will be throwing you a bone this time...he has agreed to give you the summer home in Key West.	1.2400	0.05955	75	60	12	3
3605	This session is about who gets custody of your wife….	1.2400	0.04965	75	57	18	0
3606	Ahhh... to be a divorce lawyer during the pandemic	1.2400	0.05148	100	80	16	4
3607	As you can see, he is being very generous. He is giving YOU his prized-bone collection, the diamond-studded leash, and the custom-dog house. He'll keep the main house and custody of the kids.	1.2396	0.04854	96	75	19	2
3608	Per the settlement, Rufus is willing to take you back on holidays and every other Sunday if you sign his revised walk-and-treat demands.	1.2396	0.04379	96	73	23	0
3609	It’s called arbarktration.	1.2396	0.05287	96	77	15	4
3610	...and no more dry dog food, daily walks increased to five times, professional grooming appointments on a monthly basis...	1.2396	0.04623	96	74	21	1
3611	I'm sorry. Sparky found your answer completely unacceptable. That you have no neckwear didn't help.	1.2396	0.05075	96	76	17	3
3612	So Fido gets the house and Mr. Smith gets the motorcycle and all the squeaky toys. Please sign here.	1.2396	0.04854	96	75	19	2
3613	My client has been a good boy, so he's asking for palimony.	1.2396	0.05075	96	76	17	3
3614	My client says you can keep the cat condo.	1.2396	0.05686	96	79	11	6
3615	Yes, a pawprint is binding.	1.2396	0.04854	96	75	19	2
3616	I assure you my client's suit against you has both bark and bite.	1.2396	0.04623	96	74	21	1
3617	Neither a bull nor a bear seemed appropriate.	1.2394	0.06172	71	57	11	3
3618	My client says the new cat was just an act of betrayal.	1.2394	0.05481	71	55	15	1
3619	He gets the promotion because he is unfailingly loyal.	1.2394	0.05481	71	55	15	1
3620	Of course, you’ll have to learn to sit and stay.	1.2391	0.04977	92	72	18	2
3621	You get to keep the cat.	1.2391	0.04977	92	72	18	2
3622	I assume you have a Bachelor of Arfs degree?	1.2391	0.05436	92	74	14	4
3623	Now, you’ll both have thirty minutes to complete the test. The one with the best score gets the job.	1.2391	0.05212	92	73	16	3
3624	Kibbles 'N Bits shall henceforth be Kibbles 'N Bitcoin.	1.2391	0.04977	92	72	18	2
3625	You get to keep the dog house.	1.2391	0.05212	92	73	16	3
3626	Honestly this might be the best we can do. My client will accept your offer of food, a warm bed, and an hour of daily play time. In return, he agrees to stop humping your girlfriend's leg.	1.2391	0.05212	92	73	16	3
3627	...and lastly, Rex does not want any walks before noon, as he is a late sleeper."	1.2391	0.05436	92	74	14	4
3628	Your emotional support dog is suing you for.... well, lack of emotional support.	1.2391	0.05212	92	73	16	3
3629	No more fetch. No more rolling over or playing dead. And shaking hands requires twice as many doggie treats. Sign below the paw print.”	1.2391	0.04977	92	72	18	2
3630	Dog eat dog.	1.2391	0.04731	92	71	20	1
3631	Here, boy.	1.2391	0.05436	92	74	14	4
3632	There's a good boy. Just sign and I'll give you a treat.	1.2389	0.04580	113	89	21	3
3633	My client agrees to all rules of the household except for the clause where he must “give paw” at social gatherings.	1.2386	0.05598	88	71	13	4
3634	Doggedness is your biggest strength? Let's check it out.	1.2386	0.05110	88	69	17	2
3635	Just put your pawprint here and half of his Central Park West kennel is yours.	1.2386	0.05110	88	69	17	2
3636	She gets the house. You get your wife and children.	1.2386	0.05359	88	70	15	3
3637	Sit, stay, now handle your business.	1.2386	0.05598	88	71	13	4
3638	This is exactly why there are pre-pup agreements in the first place.	1.2386	0.05359	88	70	15	3
3639	And your father left the other half to you! I hope you two boys can get along now!	1.2386	0.05598	88	71	13	4
3640	Mr Kramer, I’m here to inform you that your dog has filed for divorce. He’s asking for alimony and the house. You can keep the one in the backyard he’s been forced to sleep in all this time.	1.2386	0.05110	88	69	17	2
3641	My client believes we can come to a reasonable agreement regarding distribution of treats.	1.2386	0.05598	88	71	13	4
3642	Let's start by dropping any reference to or exception of "rolling over."	1.2386	0.05598	88	71	13	4
3643	If you just sign the pre-pup, you're good to go.	1.2386	0.05359	88	70	15	3
3644	Please bark at the dotted line.	1.2386	0.05598	88	71	13	4
3645	He wants the house, but you can keep the cat.	1.2385	0.04859	109	87	18	4
3646	Everything should be fine as long as he gets your ex.	1.2381	0.05253	84	66	16	2
3647	He fells you're not paying attention.	1.2381	0.05519	84	67	14	3
3648	Ms. McFluffie is one of our senior Partners. You will be responsible for walking her after lunch.	1.2381	0.05773	84	68	12	4
3649	By signing this prenup, you agree to abide by all conditions, including but not limited to: outdoor walks twice daily, one off leash, one on leash; kibble on demand, and unlimited time on the sofa.	1.2381	0.05253	84	66	16	2
3650	He agrees to always Come, Sit/Stay and Down/Stay, but no more shampoos.	1.2381	0.04789	105	83	19	3
3651	Don’t even think about stealing his pen!	1.2381	0.05519	84	67	14	3
3652	...and this one states that Fido will still get to play fetch with the kids twice a week.	1.2381	0.05519	84	67	14	3
3653	Rex would like you to take minutes of our meeting. And get him a squeaky toy.	1.2381	0.05773	84	68	12	4
3654	He wants half of every food you drop.	1.2381	0.05253	84	66	16	2
3655	No kibble.	1.2381	0.04789	105	83	19	3
3656	You would keep the apartment, but my client would retain the right to attend and chew shoes at his convenience.	1.2381	0.05253	84	66	16	2
3657	I hereby pledge that no cat will ever cross my screen when I work from home. Signature here.	1.2381	0.05253	84	66	16	2
3658	This is his final settlement offer for eating your shoe collection.	1.2381	0.05253	84	66	16	2
3659	Sign this saying, ‘You were not barking up the wrong tree.’	1.2381	0.05519	84	67	14	3
3660	Put your John Pawprint here.	1.2381	0.05773	84	68	12	4
3661	My client would like visitation every other week to chew on your furniture.” Matt Bellace Princeton, N	1.2381	0.05519	84	67	14	3
3662	No bag? Use this. It’s in the corner.	1.2381	0.04176	105	85	17	3
3663	As man’s former best friend, my client hopes we can keep this amicable	1.2381	0.04594	105	82	21	2
3664	My client will accept wet food every third instead of every other day, not wanting to kibble over such minor points.	1.2381	0.06017	84	69	10	5
3665	And no more of that dry, crunchy food. Only the wet stuff.	1.2381	0.05773	84	68	12	4
3666	You get to walk the puppies every other weekend.	1.2381	0.06017	84	69	10	5
3667	We're a good boy, bad cop combination.	1.2381	0.05253	84	66	16	2
3668	I need your dog to sign these papers. There's an ink bottle on your left.	1.2381	0.05253	84	66	16	2
3669	Final offer: He is willing to let go of the house,as long as he gets to keep the wife.	1.2381	0.05519	84	67	14	3
3670	You see, my client will not accept the usual walk around the block any longer.	1.2381	0.05773	84	68	12	4
3671	Okay, he's written his piece, now it's your turn, then the Internet will decide which one of you is a dog.	1.2381	0.04789	105	83	19	3
3672	I must tell you, he has been very dogmatic about his claim of negligence.	1.2381	0.05253	84	66	16	2
3673	His papers are in order, but something concerning came up in his social media history…	1.2381	0.05519	84	67	14	3
3674	My client demands that from now on, you sleep in the dog house.	1.2376	0.04699	101	79	20	2
3675	And my client keeps the kitty pictures.	1.2376	0.04905	101	80	18	3
3676	He wants to keep possession of the bones buried in the back yard.	1.2376	0.04905	101	80	18	3
3677	My client cites irreconcilable differences. He can't even stand it when you throw him a bone.	1.2376	0.04905	101	80	18	3
3678	He wants emancipation and he wants your house	1.2375	0.05409	80	63	15	2
3679	Fido gets the apartment. You get the dog house out back.	1.2375	0.05694	80	64	13	3
3680	He'd like custody of the bone.	1.2375	0.05694	80	64	13	3
3681	My client alleges that you're the one who has failed to be a good boy.	1.2375	0.05965	80	65	11	4
3682	Fine, if you insist, some scratch paper too...	1.2375	0.05694	80	64	13	3
3683	He's hypoallergenic. And we're prepared to prove it in court.	1.2375	0.05694	80	64	13	3
3684	Actually no, I meant you'll literally be in the dog house.	1.2375	0.05694	80	64	13	3
3685	My client advises that your ball- throwing duties haven’t met the agreed-upon standards in regards to both frequency and enthusiasm.	1.2375	0.05409	80	63	15	2
3686	My client Spot, is suing for puppy trauma. He claims you named him after a Rorschach test.	1.2375	0.05694	80	64	13	3
3687	Answers on the forms be damned. Being hired is a matter of whether the Top Dog senses you really love him.	1.2375	0.05409	80	63	15	2
3688	Back in the work office, everyone knows you are a dog.	1.2375	0.05409	80	63	15	2
3689	She wants to keep the doghouse.	1.2375	0.05409	80	63	15	2
3690	He's wants half-use of the TV couch. Kind of a deal breaker.	1.2375	0.05409	80	63	15	2
3691	You may think Skippy loved it but touching without consent is a firing offense.	1.2375	0.05409	80	63	15	2
3692	This is where things get a little hairy.	1.2375	0.05108	80	62	17	1
3693	My client would like to retain all assets on which he has chewed.	1.2373	0.05061	118	97	14	7
3694	During the interview Peanut will bark incessantly to better represent the expected work environment.	1.2371	0.05238	97	78	15	4
3695	We're looking for a shaggy dog story.	1.2371	0.04810	97	76	19	2
3696	Just sign here to confirm that you’ve witnessed my client being a “good boy”.	1.2371	0.05029	97	77	17	3
3697	Cookie will grant you the house on the condition she keeps the yard.	1.2371	0.05029	97	77	17	3
3698	My clients agrees to not run away again,but his terms are non-negotiable.	1.2371	0.04341	97	74	23	0
3699	We understand why you called him a brown noser, but he earned this promotion for more than just being a good boy.	1.2371	0.04341	97	74	23	0
3700	Your request for "shake" is a breach of contract.	1.2371	0.05439	97	79	13	5
3701	He won full custody.	1.2371	0.04810	97	76	19	2
3702	This is just a ruff estimate.	1.2371	0.05238	97	78	15	4
3703	Sorry Mr. Scott, Harley finished before you, he gets the job.	1.2371	0.05238	97	78	15	4
3704	...and this last page says he can bark whenever he wants.	1.2371	0.05238	97	78	15	4
3705	It's just a standard Pre-pup Agreement.	1.2371	0.05439	97	79	13	5
3706	Good news, it came down to you or the dog. Bad news, we we went with the dog.	1.2368	0.05578	76	60	14	2
3707	Duke claims he saw pictures of you walking a schnauzer in Miami Beach while he was stashed at a doggie hotel near the airport.	1.2368	0.05884	76	61	12	3
3708	It is a simple agreement that you will stay in the dog house until you get vaccinated.	1.2368	0.06175	76	62	10	4
3709	You keep the house, but she gets the toilets.	1.2368	0.05884	76	61	12	3
3710	He’s asking for 50% more treats	1.2366	0.05162	93	74	16	3
3711	And the dog also wants half of your retirement....in the form of milk bones, of course.	1.2366	0.05162	93	74	16	3
3712	He only wants the dog house.	1.2366	0.04930	93	73	18	2
3713	First,you just sign this NDA for all the buried bone locations.	1.2366	0.04930	93	73	18	2
3714	One final thing - no more “best friend.”	1.2366	0.04687	93	72	20	1
3715	We're very interested in how you discribe hiding a bone.	1.2366	0.05162	93	74	16	3
3716	He gets the boat, the house and the cars. You get to visit him on alternate weekends.”	1.2366	0.05596	93	76	12	5
3717	Which leaves the matter of the chew-toy still under the sofa.	1.2366	0.04930	93	73	18	2
3718	Teddy, do not answer that question. Quite frankly I’m appalled that after all this you still demand that he reveal who is a good boy.	1.2366	0.05383	93	75	14	4
3719	I really don't recommend your dog to being a witness to you signing your will.	1.2366	0.04930	93	73	18	2
3720	For a monthly sum of 1 box dog biscuits,two large packs of beef jerky(human brand) and one day a month pet spaw visit,sparky agrees to report on your ex wife and her girl new friend. He also agrees to forget the night when you brought home that...	1.2366	0.04930	93	73	18	2
3721	I'm afraid the mandatory belly rub clause is non-negotiable	1.2366	0.05162	93	74	16	3
3722	Sorry, you're not dogged enough for this position.	1.2366	0.05383	93	75	14	4
3723	My client, Mr. Scruffins demands you leave the toilet seat up after each visitation.	1.2366	0.04687	93	72	20	1
3724	He wants the yard, but he’ll give you the doghouse.	1.2366	0.04687	93	72	20	1
3725	He gets the house but you get to keep the cat.	1.2366	0.04930	93	73	18	2
3726	I understand your concern but Fluffy really is the best ghost writer in the biz!	1.2366	0.05383	93	75	14	4
3727	Write in 50 words or less why you brought your dog along today.	1.2366	0.05596	93	76	12	5
3728	He is suing you for custody of the wife.	1.2366	0.05383	93	75	14	4
3729	You can adopt him providing you sign this prenup saying you get nothing if you leave.	1.2366	0.04687	93	72	20	1
3730	Do you recognize Exhibit A as the pre-rescue agreement that you signed when you adopted my client?	1.2366	0.04930	93	73	18	2
3731	He wants you to sign over the ownership to his house and yard.	1.2366	0.05383	93	75	14	4
3732	I’m afraid false advertising is a chargeable offence. Next time you shout ‘fetch’, don’t just pretend to throw something.	1.2364	0.04990	110	89	16	5
3733	He says your bark is worse than your bite.	1.2364	0.05154	110	90	14	6
3734	This is our best offer. The neutering was a bridge too far.	1.2361	0.05414	72	56	15	1
3735	My client demands access to the bed,couch and good chair. In return,he agrees to cease all barking unless he sees a bird,a car,or,indeed,any movement whatsoever. Reserving customary rights to walkies.	1.2361	0.05764	72	57	13	2
3736	When did she start straying from you?	1.2360	0.05059	89	70	17	2
3737	Sign, or she'll tweet that you called her the b-word.	1.2360	0.05767	89	73	11	5
3738	This problem could all go away if you just throw a dog a bone.	1.2360	0.05541	89	72	13	4
3739	So you admit you called her a dog?	1.2360	0.04800	89	69	19	1
3740	What’s your best bone offer?	1.2360	0.05059	89	70	17	2
3741	Aye. "Arf.	1.2360	0.05541	89	72	13	4
3742	Buster wants you to know this is just a r-r-rough draft.	1.2360	0.04800	89	69	19	1
3743	Puddles has written a number on this piece of paper...	1.2360	0.05305	89	71	15	3
3744	The d..o..g request you stop acting like you’re G..O..D.	1.2360	0.05059	89	70	17	2
3745	When you cut through the legal mumbo jumbo, it says the incessant barking will cease when the incessant bacon begins.	1.2360	0.05305	89	71	15	3
3746	My client is demanding a generous ali-boney.	1.2360	0.05305	89	71	15	3
3747	We trust you'll internalize our new company dogma.	1.2360	0.04526	89	68	21	0
3748	These are my client’s divorce demands.	1.2360	0.04526	89	68	21	0
3749	Not unless you sign the pre-può agreement.	1.2360	0.05541	89	72	13	4
3750	You keep the car, we want the house the yard and half the balls.	1.2360	0.05059	89	70	17	2
3751	He may be your best friend, but Rover still wants to make sure that he’s covered legally	1.2358	0.04749	106	84	19	3
3752	My client would like to remove the clause regarding whether he is or is not a '"good boy."	1.2358	0.04556	106	83	21	2
3753	OK, so you get the house and he gets the tennis balls.	1.2353	0.05970	68	54	12	2
3754	And this stipulates that you're still obligated to pick it up.	1.2353	0.05198	85	67	16	2
3755	And the job is yours, if you don't mind our CEO here occasionally barking orders at you!	1.2353	0.04922	85	66	18	1
3756	No, we're not talking about the 'dog' house.	1.2353	0.05198	85	67	16	2
3757	Looks like mans best friend has served you with a separation agreement"	1.2353	0.05246	102	83	14	5
3758	He has signed on, what's stopping you?	1.2353	0.05712	85	69	12	4
3759	To retain your current living situation with my client, you must transfer ownership of the cat.	1.2353	0.05058	102	82	16	4
3760	He says "there's no bones about it"	1.2353	0.05952	85	70	10	5
3761	Careful Mister, my client barks but I bite!	1.2353	0.04658	102	80	20	2
3762	It’s a prenup agreement that won’t bite you in the end.	1.2353	0.05246	102	83	14	5
3763	Mr. Sweetie Fluff, as sole beneficiary of your father's estate, is giving you this very generous monthly treat allowance.	1.2353	0.05461	85	68	14	3
3764	You get the Beemer, but she's keeping the doghouse."	1.2353	0.05198	85	67	16	2
3765	We were best friends before he became CEO.	1.2353	0.04862	102	83	15	4
3766	This is what it'll take to get you out of the doghouse.	1.2353	0.06664	68	56	8	4
3767	My client insists you retain custody of the cat, Whiskers.	1.2353	0.05461	85	68	14	3
3768	As you've read in the subpoena, my clients' position in the matter is woof ! woof! bark! woof!	1.2353	0.05461	85	68	14	3
3769	He wants the wife in any settlement.	1.2353	0.05461	85	68	14	3
3770	My client seeks a restraining order for leash use.	1.2353	0.05198	85	67	16	2
3771	You're in the doghouse; so he gets the house.	1.2353	0.05970	68	54	12	2
3772	He wants you to say "good boi" like you really mean it.	1.2353	0.05461	85	68	14	3
3773	My client has already heard several variations of the "pro bono" joke and is unamused.	1.2353	0.05246	102	83	14	5
3774	To be fair, he does have squatter’s rights.	1.2353	0.04628	85	65	20	0
3775	And although you will no longer be residing together, you must continue to pick up his poop.	1.2353	0.05198	85	67	16	2
3776	He wants half of all your slippers.	1.2353	0.05590	68	53	14	1
3777	Once you sign, you will be agreeing to eat Buster's own recipe for lunch every day that you're here.	1.2353	0.04862	102	81	18	3
3778	Sorry to have to let you go, Scott. But Champ here had me at woof, woof.	1.2353	0.04658	102	80	20	2
3779	We're allowing you to keep the doghouse.	1.2353	0.06327	68	55	10	3
3780	If you need a pencil, bark once.	1.2348	0.04991	115	94	15	6
3781	Since he's the owner of this business, we need you sign this paper that you think he's a Good Boy.	1.2347	0.04983	98	78	17	3
3782	He scored 100. Now it's your turn.	1.2347	0.04983	98	78	17	3
3783	He gets the yard and the lawn; you pay for maintenance!…That’s his final offer!	1.2347	0.04767	98	77	19	2
3784	...and this is our stipulations that Mr. Scruffles is now, and in perpetuity, a good boy.	1.2347	0.04767	98	77	19	2
3785	My client is going to keep the puppies and raise them herself.	1.2347	0.05389	98	80	13	5
3786	You get a treat as a signing bonus.	1.2346	0.04737	81	62	19	0
3787	Just sign here and Sparky agrees to replace the carpet as long as you agree not to sue.	1.2346	0.05349	81	64	15	2
3788	This confirms that you are no longer the top dog around here!"	1.2346	0.05349	81	64	15	2
3789	"The 'no-fetching'clause is non-negotiable, Ted. Take the deal."	1.2346	0.04737	81	62	19	0
3790	My client expects all of his legal work to be provided pro bone-o”	1.2346	0.05349	81	64	15	2
3791	So he's got 5 million YouTube followers, call it a pre-nuptial.	1.2346	0.05630	81	65	13	3
3792	My client is confident that the contract stipulated a late afternoon walk DOWNWIND of the restaurant.	1.2346	0.05349	81	64	15	2
3793	We're going to have to let you go, Jim. We don't do dress-down Fridays in this office, and Tuffy here wrote me a note - he thinks you smell bad.	1.2346	0.05053	81	63	17	1
3794	Good luck pal, she picked you	1.2346	0.05630	81	65	13	3
3795	No one can ever find out you let the dogs out.	1.2346	0.05898	81	66	11	4
3796	If you sign you can keep the house, but the one in the backyard.	1.2346	0.05630	81	65	13	3
3797	Well that's not fair, why is he making seven times more money than I?	1.2346	0.05053	81	63	17	1
3798	Since you’re already in the doghouse, Fifi is willing for you to keep it, but she demands alimony and three walks a day.	1.2346	0.05349	81	64	15	2
3799	The terms of settlement: he gets to stay in the penthouse, and you’re going into the dog house.	1.2346	0.05630	81	65	13	3
3800	Benny wants the house, but he'll let you keep the car and the muddy tennis ball collection.	1.2346	0.05630	81	65	13	3
3801	You keep the cat. She gets the co-op.	1.2344	0.06197	64	51	11	2
3802	Billy would like to attain unconditional access to the treats cupboard.	1.2340	0.05542	94	77	12	5
3803	My client insists that daily tummy rubs for life be part of the adoption contract.	1.2340	0.05332	94	76	14	4
3804	Now that you two are done barking at each other, can you please sign your half of the cohabitation agreement?	1.2340	0.05332	94	76	14	4
3805	He says they won't sue if you start using the proper pronouns - he/she/dog/cat/alpha/bitch/they/them/Ralph	1.2340	0.05332	94	76	14	4
3806	Fido is willing to let go of his dog house if you agree to let him go live with the Smiths. Sign here please.	1.2340	0.04884	94	74	18	2
3807	Here are the terms of the mezzanine bone.	1.2340	0.05113	94	75	16	3
3808	Don't be a bitch. Sign.	1.2340	0.05542	94	77	12	5
3809	…and this one’s because you’ve been a bad boy.	1.2340	0.04884	94	74	18	2
3810	You've been served. Buddy wants a full-time dog walker, an unlimited supply of hot dogs, and full custody of the cat. Otherwise, we will see you in court.	1.2340	0.05113	94	75	16	3
3811	He showed his dog tag; now I need your ID as well ....	1.2340	0.05113	94	75	16	3
3812	Full custody of the puppies is a non-starter.	1.2340	0.05332	94	76	14	4
3813	Rex here will sign over his share of the business for 50 thousand pig's ears and a pat on the back.	1.2340	0.05542	94	77	12	5
3814	She requires that you continue payments to Dave’s Doggy Daycare.	1.2340	0.04884	94	74	18	2
3815	Okay, she gets the house, her leash and the boat, we split the condo in Palm Beach and you can keep the summer house in the Vineyard. You get the puppies on alternate weekends The alimony and division of other assets to be determined.	1.2338	0.05514	77	61	14	2
3816	For the divorce to be final, you are required to provide Kibbles n’ Bits for life and a squeaky toy. In addition, you may not say “who’s a good boy” within 300 yards of my client.	1.2338	0.05816	77	62	12	3
3817	This pre-pup says he’ll promise to be a good boy if you’ll promise to pet when he wags his tail.	1.2338	0.05195	77	60	16	1
3818	We expect our new hires to work like a dog so she has a keg up on you	1.2338	0.05195	77	60	16	1
3819	Fido wants the right to sit on the couch and sleep in the bed, otherwise, we go to court.	1.2338	0.05514	77	61	14	2
3820	Thanks for your help but we have found an alternative candidate.	1.2338	0.05816	77	62	12	3
3821	My client and I believe our offer where you toss 100 tennis balls daily is quite reasonable. Initial and sign, and we can avoid an ugly and expensive court battle. i	1.2338	0.05816	77	62	12	3
3822	As soon as the pony arrives, we’ll start the pitch.	1.2338	0.05816	77	62	12	3
3823	Professor Whiskers will be filing an Amicus Optimus brief.	1.2336	0.04110	107	82	25	0
3824	I’m sorry Mr.Cranston, there’s seems to be some confusion. In trying to finalize your split from Spot, he seems to have brought the wrong “papers.	1.2336	0.04710	107	85	19	3
3825	She wants possession of the house, the car and full custody of your wife.	1.2333	0.05485	90	73	13	4
3826	He's flexible on the dog house, but he won't budge on the monthly kibble support.	1.2333	0.05253	90	72	15	3
3827	The dog will conduct the last interview. Here is a translation of the main questions. You may answer in English.	1.2333	0.04694	120	97	18	5
3828	My client knows you care for him, but here are his conditions before he moves back into your apartment.	1.2333	0.05253	90	72	15	3
3829	The divorce has been rough on Biscuit.	1.2333	0.05253	90	72	15	3
3830	Here are my clients terms. Now, who's a good boy?	1.2333	0.05708	90	74	11	5
3831	My client has agreed to your terms. He'll keep the kibbles while you get the bits.	1.2333	0.05253	90	72	15	3
3832	Say "woof" and sign if you agree to the terms.	1.2333	0.05009	90	71	17	2
3833	I talked it over with Conan, and I dont quite know how to break it to you but He’s funny but you’re not.	1.2333	0.04386	120	95	22	3
3834	Yes, he does have custody, but you still can have supervised visits to your wife every other Saturday.	1.2333	0.05485	90	73	13	4
3835	To keep this amicable, Scruffy will settle for the tennis ball, the chewy toy, and the Instagram account.	1.2333	0.04754	90	70	19	1
3836	Pepper gets to dig up the yard, destroy the furniture, chew your slippers and hump your knee. You get to rub Pepper's belly while repeating the question, "Who's a good dog?" Sign all copies where indicated.	1.2333	0.05253	90	72	15	3
3837	Stewart requests that you relinquish control of ownership to your better half.	1.2333	0.05708	90	74	11	5
3838	Your $500,000 signing bonus to return to the office, sir.	1.2333	0.05485	90	73	13	4
3839	My client is concerned you've only pretended to throw your best offer.	1.2333	0.05009	90	71	17	2
3840	He will get the house, but you will still be allowed to walk him three times a day.	1.2333	0.05253	90	72	15	3
3841	He'd like you to set out your views on cats.	1.2333	0.05253	90	72	15	3
3842	She wants a divorce, too.	1.2333	0.05485	90	73	13	4
3843	My client demands you walk	1.2333	0.04754	90	70	19	1
3844	Fido here has filed a motion to evict you, for living rent-free in his home, paid for by dog-stragram	1.2333	0.05009	90	71	17	2
3845	Before adoption, I advise all my clients to sign a pre-pup.	1.2333	0.05708	90	74	11	5
3846	And this last document is truly the pick of the litter.	1.2333	0.05485	90	73	13	4
3847	Lucky thinks you'll do, but riding the elevator is a deal breaker.	1.2333	0.05253	90	72	15	3
3848	We’re getting close however my client requests leash free park walks, unlimited squirrel chasing and human food only. Agree to that and we have a deal	1.2330	0.05200	103	84	14	5
3849	Given that you were a couple for pandemic reasons only, we feel that this is more than fair.	1.2330	0.04820	103	82	18	3
3850	Throw in a good belly rub and it’s a deal.	1.2329	0.05694	73	58	13	2
3851	You get the house but he gets the old blanket and the hydrant out front.	1.2329	0.04981	73	56	17	0
3852	As per your prenuptial agreement, you will keep the blanket and Snuffy takes possession of the doggy house.	1.2329	0.05694	73	58	13	2
3853	And, as a final part of the divorce settlement, you will move to the doghouse, while Brewster here takes over your side of the bed.	1.2329	0.06327	73	60	9	4
3854	You’ve been in the doghouse too many times. The dog gets your partner.	1.2329	0.05694	73	58	13	2
3855	...and it's not an acronym	1.2329	0.06019	73	59	11	3
3856	I'll need a list of all your assets.	1.2329	0.05349	73	57	15	1
3857	Your covid puppy says it just isn't working out.....	1.2329	0.05349	73	57	15	1
3858	Of course the separation terms are tough, my client is the Woof of Wall Street.	1.2329	0.05694	73	58	13	2
3859	She gets the two dog houses, 75% of the profits from her YouTube channel, and 15 pairs of your oldest socks.	1.2329	0.06621	73	61	7	5
3860	Before the adoption we'd like you to sign a prepup.	1.2329	0.05349	73	57	15	1
3861	It's a seven year contract for you and a one year contract for him.	1.2326	0.05404	86	69	14	3
3862	Fredo says you betrayed him befriending cats, and he wants out.	1.2326	0.05145	86	68	16	2
3863	Fluffy agrees to drop the $250,000 suit for three, not two, walks a day and five dog treats daily, as well as the usual cans of food and dinner plate lickings. And the cat may not sleep in his bed. Sign and initial.	1.2326	0.05404	86	69	14	3
3864	My client would like you sign a pre-pup.	1.2326	0.05145	86	68	16	2
3865	He'll drop all charges for emotional distress, as long as you agree to not ever shut him out of the bathroom again while you urinate.	1.2326	0.05404	86	69	14	3
3866	Well, I have reviewed it and that is, in fact, the terms of the pre-pup you signed.	1.2326	0.05404	86	69	14	3
3867	We just need your signature here...and he'll agree not to bite your ankles anymore.	1.2326	0.05652	86	70	12	4
3868	He says he caught you playing with another dog.	1.2326	0.05404	86	69	14	3
3869	You and your comfort dog are fired !	1.2326	0.05276	86	71	11	4
3870	This is your copy agreeing that Sparky is no longer your bestfriend.	1.2326	0.05145	86	68	16	2
3871	This is why it's so important to sign a pre-pup.	1.2326	0.05145	86	68	16	2
3872	Your dog has already written what he thinks of you-- now it's your turn.	1.2326	0.04872	86	67	18	1
3873	Here's your walking papers.	1.2326	0.05145	86	68	16	2
3874	Let us now move on to property and asset division.	1.2326	0.04582	86	66	20	0
3875	These are your walking papers, and I don't mean that in a good way.	1.2326	0.05404	86	69	14	3
3876	His training to be your comfort dog has left him emotionally exhausted. He needs a weekend at a spa.	1.2326	0.05145	86	68	16	2
3877	There is no monetary analog to "Belly Rub."	1.2326	0.05652	86	70	12	4
3878	It's OK, he's fully paper trained.	1.2326	0.04582	86	66	20	0
3879	I’m sorry Mr. Flatley, when you act up, you will have to share the doghouse with Casper.	1.2326	0.05145	86	68	16	2
3880	He agrees to love you unconditionally, if you agree to the following conditions.	1.2326	0.05145	86	68	16	2
3881	it may look complicated but it simply guarantees him the right to plan his own menus	1.2326	0.05145	86	68	16	2
3882	This is first time I’ve created a prepuptial…	1.2326	0.04872	86	67	18	1
3883	The upshot is that, from now on, you have to fetch your own sticks.	1.2326	0.05145	86	68	16	2
3884	It’s affectionately referred to as a Doggie Pre-nup. Sign, and you can take him home.	1.2326	0.05145	86	68	16	2
3885	Spot gets the wife; you get the kids.	1.2326	0.05652	86	70	12	4
3886	He gets the house, the yard, and support for two walks per day. You keep the leash.	1.2323	0.04725	99	78	19	2
3887	The dog wants you to leave the house to him	1.2323	0.04501	99	77	21	1
3888	We're suing you for breach of leash.	1.2323	0.05529	99	82	11	6
3889	NOW KEEP YOUR EYE ON THIS PIECE OF PAPER	1.2323	0.04938	99	79	17	3
3890	The agreement clearly states he gets the master bedroom.	1.2323	0.04938	99	79	17	3
3891	You can have the apartment but kibble is off the table.	1.2323	0.05142	99	80	15	4
3892	My client is willing to meet you halfway on the barking.	1.2323	0.04501	99	77	21	1
3893	Now write down reasons you think you're more deserving than Scruffy of handling our meat inventory.	1.2323	0.04725	99	78	19	2
3894	Daisy has already signed. Your signature on the Pre-PupNup goes here.	1.2323	0.04938	99	79	17	3
3895	He wants the kids every other weekend.	1.2323	0.05339	99	81	13	5
3896	My client contends that you did not, in fact, obtain consent before the alleged belly-rub incident.	1.2319	0.05118	69	53	16	0
3897	As my client’s attorney, the only legal advice I can give you is to get another dog.	1.2319	0.05118	69	53	16	0
3898	My client has suggested settling the dispute on the masticated sofa issue, but it does not include an admission of fault.	1.2319	0.05519	69	54	14	1
3899	In the case of Spot v. Flea Collar, you have been ruled as the real pest.	1.2317	0.05569	82	66	13	3
3900	How would you feel about being paid in kibbles and bits?	1.2317	0.05569	82	66	13	3
3901	No, it was not too tight. It was the electric current.	1.2317	0.05291	82	65	15	2
3902	Be cautious, don't bark up the wrong tree.	1.2317	0.05291	82	65	15	2
3903	If Ruff here snarls when you reach for this you're out. If he wags his tail you're hired!"	1.2317	0.05291	82	65	15	2
3904	My client is citing irreconcilable differences and asking for damages.	1.2317	0.05569	82	66	13	3
3905	His offer is worse than his bite.	1.2317	0.04999	82	64	17	1
3906	My client still maintains you broke the contract by pursuing other 'best friends'	1.2317	0.05569	82	66	13	3
3907	List the tricks you can do, and then we'll have a showdown.	1.2317	0.05833	82	67	11	4
3908	Please write down where you keep all of his treats.	1.2317	0.05833	82	67	11	4
3909	He wants you home by 4:00, two weeks between baths, and you'll need to fetch your own slippers.	1.2317	0.04999	82	64	17	1
3910	Four walks, no kennels, raw food	1.2317	0.04999	82	64	17	1
3911	Here are my client's conditions for appearing to "be your dog" at the office.	1.2317	0.05569	82	66	13	3
3912	I know this hostile takeover isn't what you wanted, but we're willing to throw you a bone.	1.2317	0.04688	82	63	19	0
3913	It's our best offer, Ralph gets the house. He's been a good boy.	1.2317	0.04999	82	64	17	1
3914	I think you'll find he has been generous. You get the toys and his bowl. He gets the house and all fungible assets.	1.2316	0.04838	95	75	18	2
3915	Next is the matter of unrealized future treats.	1.2316	0.04478	95	76	17	2
3916	She wants the doghouse and custody of the dog walker weekdays and every other weekend.	1.2316	0.04838	95	75	18	2
3917	You either accept it`s a dog`s life or we`ll have to let you go....	1.2316	0.04838	95	75	18	2
3918	She wants the entire yard and all the toys - you can remain in the house and keep the car as long as you give her rides twice a week.	1.2316	0.04601	95	74	20	1
3919	This is why we have a 'bring your dog to work day,' Jim. Edgar Allan Bone has become one of the best in the business.	1.2316	0.04838	95	75	18	2
3920	It is number 2.	1.2316	0.05065	95	76	16	3
3921	We'll just need your signature on this Emancipation Form and Sparky can be on his way.	1.2316	0.04838	95	75	18	2
3922	He's willing to negotiate the brand of dog food; the leash is a nonstarter.	1.2316	0.04601	95	74	20	1
3923	On this piece of paper is the number of daily treats my clients demands. In return, he'll stop ruining your shoes.	1.2316	0.05281	95	77	14	4
3924	The pawnup states that she will walk you three times a day, weather permitting and that all treats and toys go to her in the event you decide to go your separate ways.	1.2316	0.05281	95	77	14	4
3925	Either you agree to organic dog food or the adoption is off.	1.2316	0.05489	95	78	12	5
3926	My client will refuse to consider an amicable divorce until you discontinue your withholding of his chew toy.	1.2316	0.05065	95	76	16	3
3927	Fluffy has had his final slurp from your toilet bowl.	1.2316	0.05065	95	76	16	3
3928	As you can see, sprinkles wants the walks to be at least an hour in duration from this point going forward.”	1.2316	0.04838	95	75	18	2
3929	And signing this will give Rover power of attorney.	1.2316	0.05281	95	77	14	4
3930	If you go with the pajama-ed WFH option, we supply a company dog to complete that package. Meet Mr. Snuggles.	1.2316	0.04838	95	75	18	2
3931	My client wants custody of the king size bed.	1.2316	0.05065	95	76	16	3
3932	Herein you will see the language we chose to define 'good boy' and the kind of renumeration it entails.	1.2316	0.04351	95	73	22	0
3933	Yes, it does look like 3 card monte.	1.2316	0.05065	95	76	16	3
3934	By signing this you agree to never "fake throw" the ball.	1.2308	0.05748	78	63	12	3
3935	My client declines your offered position of Support Animal. He’d prefer to watch you suffer.”	1.2308	0.05201	91	73	15	3
3936	Just wanted to let you know that I've taken out of the will. Your share will now go to Rex here.	1.2308	0.05137	78	61	16	1
3937	If you're really working like a dog, Jim, it would show. You need a bite as good as your bark.	1.2308	0.04961	91	72	17	2
3938	He’s demanding three walks a day and no poop shaming - standard contractual language.	1.2308	0.05748	78	63	12	3
3939	I'm afraid we have to cut payroll to the bone.	1.2308	0.05201	91	73	15	3
3940	We're sure you'll enjoy the work environment here, plus our cafeteria is famous for the many ways it serves kibble.	1.2308	0.05451	78	62	14	2
3941	Rusty prefers the term assess rather than vet in this process.	1.2308	0.05201	91	73	15	3
3942	Why do you speak to her like a baby even though she’s now in her teens?	1.2308	0.04961	91	72	17	2
3943	It’s either her or the child. You need to decide now who gets your attention.	1.2308	0.04970	104	84	16	4
3944	It's a standard pet separation agreement Mr. Johnson. You get to keep the vacuum cleaner and my client Scruffy gets everything else.	1.2308	0.04708	91	71	19	1
3945	Please provide a list of the family assets that will be shared in this settlement.	1.2308	0.05201	91	73	15	3
3946	He wants to know if you still see yourself being a good boy five years from now.	1.2308	0.05748	78	63	12	3
3947	She wants, full custody of the kids, 3 million dollars, the house in the Hamptons, and the silver dog bowl.	1.2308	0.05651	91	75	11	5
3948	As part of the settlement agreement, you promise to never again post any incriminating Tik Tok videos of my client.	1.2308	0.05748	78	63	12	3
3949	So we’re clear - we’ll agree to the ’don’t pee on the rug’ clause, but my client reserves the right to bark incessantly.”	1.2308	0.04801	78	60	18	0
3950	You get the puppies every other weekend and 4 weeks in the summer.	1.2308	0.04779	104	83	18	3
3951	You're sure you want the children to choose?	1.2308	0.04961	91	72	17	2
3952	She no longer wishes to be bound by the outdated role of being man's best friend.	1.2308	0.05431	91	74	13	4
3953	Please, Gus. I really need this deal...just throw me a bone.	1.2308	0.05748	78	63	12	3
3954	Her sixth sense tells her she'll need a prenup before you walk her over the threshold.	1.2308	0.05748	78	63	12	3
3955	My client insists on keeping the cat.	1.2308	0.05201	91	73	15	3
3956	He agrees to everything except he wants to keep his squeaky giggle ball.	1.2308	0.05201	91	73	15	3
3957	...and you get to keep the dog house.	1.2308	0.04801	78	60	18	0
3958	When Farnsworth Industries’ President died unexpectedly, his Last Will and Testament shockingly left everything to his beloved dog Farns. But even more shocking was the way Farns cleaned house when he took over as President.	1.2308	0.06301	78	65	8	5
3959	This is just a temporary separation to see how Rover likes living with your ex-wife.	1.2308	0.04708	91	71	19	1
3960	The perfect applicant would fill a full-time position working in a casual atmosphere, enjoy walking, have a proficient sense of smell, with a working knowledge of simple commands, like “sit” and “stay,” while maintaining a reliably pleasant demeanor.	1.2308	0.05748	78	63	12	3
3961	Here is Rufus’s pre-adoption nuptials. Wake at 6am, no reason. Feed by 10am, won’t eat until he feels ready, must take on walk immediately upon finishing. Time for sniffing of all of hydrants, several trees and a bush. Nap time upon returning home.	1.2308	0.05451	78	62	14	2
3962	We are seeking an amicable separation.	1.2308	0.04961	91	72	17	2
3963	Your dog wants a divorce. You’re gonna need your own lawyer.	1.2308	0.05748	78	63	12	3
3964	You should have thought about that before you started this process.	1.2308	0.04961	91	72	17	2
3965	And in return, you accept that the 'best friend' clause is not reciprocal.	1.2300	0.04894	100	80	17	3
3966	My client can promises you he’s a good boy.	1.2300	0.04894	100	80	17	3
3967	Then we're agreed on 24 treats a week. On to walkies...	1.2300	0.04894	100	80	17	3
3968	Please take the next five minutes to explain why you think NYC would be better off without cats.	1.2300	0.04683	100	79	19	2
3969	Please mark on pages 11, 29 and 32, and place your paw print on page 34.	1.2299	0.05092	87	69	16	2
3970	Since the "humping incident," Mr. Snuffles requires all of his walkers to sign an NDA.	1.2299	0.05593	87	71	12	4
3971	...and you can visit the pups every other weekend until they are sold.	1.2299	0.05593	87	71	12	4
3972	Go ahead and can write down your salary expectations, but know Sparky here is excited to do the job for table scraps.	1.2299	0.05348	87	70	14	3
3973	Sparky gets the house.	1.2299	0.05348	87	70	14	3
3974	My client wants full custody.	1.2299	0.05092	87	69	16	2
3975	Rover is from human resources. We would like you to think he is your best friend.	1.2299	0.05092	87	69	16	2
3976	My client claims you scritched her ears without her consent.	1.2299	0.05827	87	72	10	5
3977	My client demands a name, and has requested a cease and desist order for "No Name Slob."	1.2299	0.04823	87	68	18	1
3978	Now it's your turn to fill out the form. That's a good boy!	1.2299	0.05092	87	69	16	2
3979	He wants to know about Bitcoin.	1.2299	0.05348	87	70	14	3
3980	Two is old enough to emancipate, in my client's years.	1.2299	0.05092	87	69	16	2
3981	This Pawternity Agreement supercedes the Pre-Puptial agreement and, of course, I'm working Pro-Bono.	1.2299	0.05092	87	69	16	2
3982	You can keep the house, car and savings. She just wants the chicken carcass in the bin.	1.2299	0.05593	87	71	12	4
3983	You can have the leash.	1.2299	0.05593	87	71	12	4
3984	My client would like to remind you that direct communication, including asking 'who's a good boy?', is strictly prohibited and punishable with fines of up to 5 all-beef treats.	1.2299	0.04823	87	68	18	1
3985	He's very impressed with you and your resume, make it three walks a day and you've got the job	1.2299	0.05593	87	71	12	4
3986	Here's our offer. I think you'll find he's been a very good boy.	1.2299	0.04823	87	68	18	1
3987	Please complete your resume for our dog walking service.	1.2297	0.05625	74	59	13	2
3988	Nowadays, everything goes to the dogs.	1.2297	0.06249	74	61	9	4
3989	Your pet dog wants you to read this carefully before you decide whether or not to sign it.	1.2297	0.05286	74	58	15	1
3990	He wants unleashed walks and full custody of the fire hydrant.	1.2297	0.05945	74	60	11	3
3991	The last step in the job application is an assessment of your personal qualities; we really value loyalty around here.	1.2297	0.05945	74	60	11	3
3992	My client feels a ‘best friend’ would not deny these modest requests.	1.2297	0.05625	74	59	13	2
3993	My client demands the right for two walks a day and playing in the park every Sunday after the new family member’s arrival.	1.2297	0.05286	74	58	15	1
3994	Now if you will just sign this PrePup in which you promise to feed,pet,bath,clip,pickup after both indoors and out,pay his doctor bills clip. his toe nails,let him outside and back in a dozen times a day we will move on to his diet requirements	1.2294	0.04813	109	88	17	4
3995	Snowball has agreed to let you keep the house, in exchange for all the bones she buried in the back yard.	1.2294	0.04813	109	88	17	4
3996	Mr. Woofles wants the house.	1.2292	0.05231	96	78	14	4
3997	My client alleges an intolerably small disbursement of treats.	1.2292	0.04794	96	76	18	2
3998	In return, my client is demanding three daily walks.	1.2292	0.04794	96	76	18	2
3999	Yes we value his opinion. In dog years he has more experience than the president, CEO & CFO combined.	1.2292	0.05017	96	77	16	3
4000	You can have the house. But he gets the yard.	1.2292	0.04312	96	74	22	0
4001	Maybe now we'll find out who's a good boy?	1.2292	0.04794	96	76	18	2
4002	This is our final offer. He gets the dog house, shared custody of your wife, and pawlimony.	1.2292	0.05231	96	78	14	4
4003	Fifi needs one more 360 degree review for her annual treat. But it's just pro forma.	1.2292	0.04794	96	76	18	2
4004	It appears this is the case of dog bytes man. His numbers add up; yours don't.	1.2292	0.04794	96	76	18	2
4005	He tells me you've hit a ruff patch.	1.2292	0.04559	96	75	20	1
4006	He'll agree to be your "wingman" if he can hump the "bogies" also.	1.2292	0.05017	96	77	16	3
4007	From here on, you agree to no longer command 'Fetch, boy,' and the dog formerly known as Fido will be called Kade."	1.2292	0.05017	96	77	16	3
4008	The document therein states that moving forward, my client will be taking control of your assets. You are to be remanded to the backyard, effective immediately. You may scratch at the door when you need to potty.	1.2292	0.04794	96	76	18	2
4009	My associate has some questions for you, sir…or should I call you @catlover?	1.2289	0.04946	83	65	17	1
4010	Considering expectations set during the Covid pandemic, it is a cease and desist order regarding your going back to the office.	1.2289	0.05508	83	67	13	3
4011	You can go home now. I've found a better fit for the position.	1.2289	0.05769	83	68	11	4
4012	...and here's your copy of the prepuptial agreement.	1.2289	0.05235	83	66	15	2
4013	Furby says your interpretation of his side of the story is ludicrous.	1.2289	0.04946	83	65	17	1
4014	She's not just a dog. Mitzi's our company truth smeller outer.	1.2289	0.05235	83	66	15	2
4015	So your pup has asked me to represent her in court as she seeks full restitution for all of the bones you selfishly kept to yourself during the pandemic.	1.2289	0.05508	83	67	13	3
4016	My client wants full possession of the backyard,shared custody of the children and 50 biscuits.	1.2289	0.05235	83	66	15	2
4017	These are my client’s final demands. Meet them or he walks.	1.2289	0.05235	83	66	15	2
4018	Ok, he likes you - you're hired. But remember, he will absolutely NOT let you take him in the elevator when you go for his daily walk.	1.2289	0.05508	83	67	13	3
4019	She demands half of the household kibble and the exclusive use of the ancillary house in the backyard.	1.2289	0.05235	83	66	15	2
4020	Here's the contract: two squares with wet food; two walks daily; health coverage and furniture privileges. Wags in exchange.	1.2289	0.04946	83	65	17	1
4021	OK, you take the puppies, she'l take the house.	1.2289	0.05508	83	67	13	3
4022	Now my supervisor will ask you couple of questions. Please listen carefully before answering.	1.2289	0.05508	83	67	13	3
4023	She said you're not getting the pups. Final offer: walks to the park every other weekend.	1.2288	0.04408	118	94	21	3
4024	All my client wants are the chew toys, and her independence as a free-thinking sentient being. You can keep the rest.	1.2286	0.05817	70	56	12	2
4025	If you agree to the enclosed settlement, my client agrees to withdraw his accusation. Thereby avoiding the possibility of any 'Man Bites Dog' publicity."	1.2286	0.05449	70	55	14	1
4026	Now, by signing this paper, you certify that you are housebroken.	1.2286	0.05449	70	55	14	1
4027	We thought we could housetrain you,too. Don't think of it as a failure.	1.2286	0.05817	70	56	12	2
4028	You should have signed that pre-pup.	1.2283	0.04663	92	72	19	1
4029	He's sorry that he has to let you go, but if you sign now, he'll pay severance and medical.	1.2283	0.05150	92	74	15	3
4030	He said it was his idea and you stole it	1.2283	0.05595	92	76	11	5
4031	Why yes, he does have a say in hiring, he is the head of HR.	1.2283	0.05595	92	76	11	5
4032	Please excuse the drool.	1.2283	0.04400	92	71	21	0
4033	We’re prepared to make your leg a generous offer.	1.2283	0.04913	92	73	17	2
4034	His view is that it's a dog's breakfast.	1.2283	0.04913	92	73	17	2
4035	These are terms of employment. Note that "years" means dog years.	1.2283	0.04663	92	72	19	1
4036	My client seeks full custody of the biscuits.	1.2283	0.05150	92	74	15	3
4037	This contract states you must love dogs	1.2283	0.04663	92	72	19	1
4038	While your resume shows an exceptional ability to roll over and beg, unfortunately you do not meet our standards for loyalty.	1.2283	0.05150	92	74	15	3
4039	I think you'll agree that he has outlined very reasonable requests.	1.2283	0.04913	92	73	17	2
4040	Our DEI department says you and I are the wrong breed. So I brought in a cocker spaniel.	1.2283	0.04913	92	73	17	2
4041	Look, you get the collection of vintage chew toys, he gets the house. Fair is fair.	1.2283	0.04913	92	73	17	2
4042	He's willing to allow belly rubs but no more games of fetch.	1.2283	0.05377	92	75	13	4
4043	The contract stipulates you'll need to obey auditory commands, whining, barking, growling, even when off leash.	1.2283	0.05377	92	75	13	4
4044	This pre-pup-tual agreement guarantees him dog treats for life.”	1.2278	0.05079	79	62	16	1
4045	Your dog doesn't want shared custody. He wants to live with your ex.	1.2278	0.05961	79	65	10	4
4046	He insists on treble liquidated damages if you move his bowl	1.2278	0.05079	79	62	16	1
4047	He is actually Senior Vice President in Charge of Personnel	1.2278	0.05961	79	65	10	4
4048	This is our routine non-disclosure agreement. My dog runs the company.	1.2278	0.05961	79	65	10	4
4049	Who better critique's the others offer gets the job -	1.2278	0.05390	79	63	14	2
4050	He's giving you the doghouse, or as you called it, "luxury dog room."	1.2278	0.05079	79	62	16	1
4051	According to the pre-nup, Fluffy gets to keep you and have you neutered.	1.2278	0.05961	79	65	10	4
4052	Jones,a hybrid work schedule doesn't mean you can bring Mcdougal.	1.2278	0.05683	79	64	12	3
4053	His contract states that he will only sit if given a doggie treat.	1.2278	0.05390	79	63	14	2
4054	My client insists on joint custody of the children.	1.2278	0.05079	79	62	16	1
4055	Your dog is more valuable to us than you are!	1.2278	0.05683	79	64	12	3
4056	My client, Mr. Scruffy says that the Tennis ball was clearly a gift along with house. Sign here.	1.2277	0.04423	101	79	21	1
4057	If you agree to him getting custody of all his toys, the sofa and your slippers, sign below.	1.2277	0.04850	101	81	17	3
4058	I know this might come as a blow, but he's decided to leave everything to his Doggie Day Care.	1.2277	0.04534	101	82	16	3
4059	...but you get the doghouse.	1.2277	0.04642	101	80	19	2
4060	I'll tell you why he was able to complete the assignment and you weren't - he's a good boy!	1.2277	0.04642	101	80	19	2
4061	The mansion goes to Jocko and you get the dog house.	1.2277	0.04850	101	81	17	3
4062	Don’t think of it as a failure, he feels you’ve just grown apart	1.2273	0.05294	88	71	14	3
4063	My client is asking for the doghouse and the mailbox in the separation	1.2273	0.04945	110	90	15	5
4064	Apparently you did not read the retainer. This stray dog will be representing you in court.	1.2273	0.05041	88	70	16	2
4065	Respondent, Fido, is suing you for divorce.	1.2273	0.05535	88	72	12	4
4066	Take this registration, and Fluffy, home and keep up the good work .	1.2273	0.04775	88	69	18	1
4067	The terms are a house in the country	1.2273	0.06203	88	75	6	7
4068	We are firm at $3,000,000. The doghouse is on Central Park West.	1.2273	0.05535	88	72	12	4
4069	Now it’s your turn to write about your most surprising talent	1.2273	0.04014	110	90	17	3
4070	He sacrificed everything to love you. That makes him entitled to half of everything.	1.2273	0.05041	88	70	16	2
4071	As part of the divorce settlement, your dog has offered to settle for the house in the Hamptons	1.2273	0.05294	88	71	14	3
4072	Just throw my client a bone here and let’s close this deal.	1.2273	0.04493	88	68	20	0
4073	We're willing to give you two weekends a month with the chew toys.	1.2273	0.05629	66	52	13	1
4074	Before the adoption is finalized, he'd like you to sign this nondisclosure agreement.	1.2273	0.04775	88	69	18	1
4075	Since my client can not wear a mask for biological reasons, you get to take the kids to school indefinitely.	1.2273	0.05041	88	70	16	2
4076	Here's the deal. Sign that you will get rid of the cat, and she'll come back home.	1.2273	0.05294	88	71	14	3
4077	Heel.	1.2273	0.05041	88	70	16	2
4078	…and if you’re happy, just put your paw print here.	1.2273	0.05041	88	70	16	2
4079	It's gonna be a ruff time	1.2273	0.05294	88	71	14	3
4080	I assure you that our legal systems is not going to the dogs.	1.2273	0.05294	88	71	14	3
4081	He'll agree to have his cut off only if you agree to have yours.	1.2273	0.04775	88	69	18	1
4082	If my client keeps the Ferrari you can have the doghouse	1.2273	0.05294	88	71	14	3
4083	It was a difficult choice, but it turns out that you are the one getting the walking papers, Dick, and Mikey here, will just be getting a walk.	1.2268	0.04971	97	78	16	3
4084	And he wants the house in Aspen.	1.2268	0.04750	97	77	18	2
4085	And finally, here's the list of changes you must make for him to be your best friend	1.2268	0.05182	97	79	14	4
4086	My client has asked me to put a number on this paper. This number indicates how many treats he deserves for being a good boy. My client has also asked me to tell you he is not here to negotiate.	1.2268	0.05582	97	81	10	6
4087	By signing this contract, you agree to three walks a day and to no cats in the house.	1.2268	0.04750	97	77	18	2
4088	He demands you pay a short-term rental fee every time you get put in the dog house. This includes a cleaning fee.	1.2268	0.04971	97	78	16	3
4089	As Mr Woof's new Personal Assistant, you'll need this paper. You'll need this a lot.	1.2267	0.05558	75	60	13	2
4090	That's a dog; he's sitting at the conference table.	1.2267	0.05558	75	60	13	2
4091	You may find these terms to be a little ruff.	1.2267	0.05558	75	60	13	2
4092	YOU GET THE LEASH, MY CLIENT KEEPS THE BOWL.	1.2267	0.05224	75	59	15	1
4093	You can have the house. He wants the back yard and three meals a day.	1.2267	0.05558	75	60	13	2
4094	Throw me a bone here, that’s all my client is asking for.”	1.2267	0.05558	75	60	13	2
4095	Sorry, but you didn't pass the sniff test.	1.2267	0.05558	75	60	13	2
4096	Why are you surprised? I told you my lawyer was a dog in negotiations.	1.2267	0.06173	75	62	9	4
4097	My client requests custody of the vintage tennis ball collection.	1.2267	0.05558	75	60	13	2
4098	He says “Grrrrr”.	1.2267	0.05874	75	61	11	3
4099	My client prefers to keep this separation amicable, but the girlfriend stays with him.	1.2262	0.05179	84	67	15	2
4100	You can have the sofa on alternating weekends, but only if my client gets to poop on the floor at least once a month.	1.2262	0.04895	84	66	17	1
4101	By signing, you hereby agree to be best friends.	1.2262	0.05449	84	68	13	3
4102	Just sign here and the divorce will be final.	1.2262	0.05449	84	68	13	3
4103	Your partner has applied.It's your turn.	1.2262	0.04592	84	65	19	0
4104	Now for the bone clause.	1.2262	0.05179	84	67	15	2
4105	My colleague did not detect any pre-existing conditions, so you are free to enrol in our employee benefit program. However, he did detect the scent of two domesticated cats; therefore your probationary period has been extended by six months.	1.2262	0.05179	84	67	15	2
4106	Pick a quarterly earnings report, any quarterly earnings report.	1.2262	0.04895	84	66	17	1
4107	We don’t want you to think we’re just a bunch of corporate fat cats.	1.2262	0.05179	84	67	15	2
4108	Yes Rolf is the beneficiary, You're here to witness the paw print.	1.2262	0.04592	84	68	15	1
4109	You can keep the cars and art,but Mitzi wants the house	1.2262	0.04895	84	66	17	1
4110	Yes, it is a dog-eat-dog world out there!	1.2262	0.05179	84	67	15	2
4111	One last thing. The infinite treat clause.	1.2262	0.05179	84	67	15	2
4112	I wouldn't have believed it. but you're the one writing doggerel.	1.2262	0.04895	84	66	17	1
4113	Adoption requires a signed promise that you won't be feeding him plant-based dog food	1.2262	0.05449	84	68	13	3
4114	Why didn’t you bring your own pen as instructed? She did.	1.2262	0.04895	84	66	17	1
4115	He left you his favorite collar and leash. His dog dish went to his buddy next door.	1.2262	0.05179	84	67	15	2
4116	Your paw print here, please.	1.2258	0.04359	93	72	21	0
4117	On behalf of my client, please be advised that it is now your turn to speak.	1.2258	0.05325	93	76	13	4
4118	You really should have retained counsel.	1.2258	0.05325	93	76	13	4
4119	First, here is the dress code Second, the dog. Separation anxiety?	1.2258	0.05100	93	75	15	3
4120	If you answer these questions correctly you'll be eligible to promotion to a canine plus one position.	1.2258	0.05325	93	76	13	4
4121	He's my Vetting Committee, and he's never been wrong.	1.2258	0.05100	93	75	15	3
4122	In your Pre-Ruff agreement with my client, you agreed to feed him three times per day minimum both dry and wet food, take him out for walkies, scratch his tummy-tum-tum ten times per day, and to constantly call him a "good boy."	1.2258	0.04866	93	74	17	2
4123	He says, no deal unless you agree to take the cat."	1.2258	0.04619	93	73	19	1
4124	No, young man, the proposed salary is not written in dog years.	1.2258	0.05540	93	77	11	5
4125	He wants your wife to be his caregiver	1.2258	0.05100	93	75	15	3
4126	You'll keep the house, but she wants your slippers.	1.2258	0.05325	93	76	13	4
4127	I'm sorry, but you simply weren't a good boy this quarter.	1.2255	0.04386	102	80	21	1
4128	Fido was forced to hire my dog-friendly firm because you did not buy him Grade A food	1.2255	0.04808	102	82	17	3
4129	As you can see, loyalty is the most important quality for an employee in our company.	1.2255	0.04158	102	79	23	0
4130	My client's demands are to no longer clown around for your Instagram account for free. He must maintain minimum standards for the sake of his image.	1.2255	0.04386	102	80	21	1
4131	He wants you to know it’s not personal.	1.2255	0.04386	102	80	21	1
4132	Rolf is playing fair, you've been best friends forever..	1.2255	0.04808	102	82	17	3
4133	My client believes you will find this settlement acceptable and assures you that, in the future, he will be "a very good boy".	1.2254	0.05743	71	57	12	2
4134	I assume you'll have no trouble reporting to Fido here.	1.2254	0.06084	71	58	10	3
4135	we need to renegotiate the terms of the leash	1.2254	0.05743	71	57	12	2
4136	I always knew my dog was smart than me.	1.2252	0.04558	111	89	19	3
4137	OK, your turn to make a list of several places nearby where Pumpkin could go to make poo.	1.2250	0.05618	80	65	12	3
4138	My client agrees to relinquish all rights to half your shoes, if you sign this agreement to publicly acknowledge he is a very good dog.	1.2250	0.05329	80	64	14	2
4139	He wants to know your position in cats?	1.2250	0.05893	80	66	10	4
4140	He accepts all blame for breaking wind.	1.2250	0.05329	80	64	14	2
4141	The non-beastiality clause is a newly added provision in our form pet adoption agreement.	1.2250	0.05618	80	65	12	3
4142	He insists. Sign the pre-nup or the marriage is off.	1.2250	0.05024	80	63	16	1
4143	He gets free treats for life AND the dog house at the beach.	1.2250	0.05893	80	66	10	4
4144	He says you have to go on this paper before you can get the job.	1.2250	0.06156	80	67	8	5
4145	I've been instructed to say ‘arf arf, the slippers are mine.’ It has also been suggested that I should pee on your shoes, but there’s no reason we can’t be adults about this.	1.2250	0.05024	80	63	16	1
4146	Under the terms of this separation agreement, you are still required to walk my client twice daily.	1.2250	0.05618	80	65	12	3
4147	He is in love with another human and will obtain 50% of your assets.	1.2250	0.05618	80	65	12	3
4148	None of your references could confirm your pedigree.	1.2250	0.05329	80	64	14	2
4149	And you get everything on this paper.	1.2250	0.05618	80	65	12	3
4150	I'm sorry we can't hire you. You're more than qualified but we need to diversify. As Fido here says so eloquently, 'It's rough.'"	1.2250	0.05329	80	64	14	2
4151	“It’s called a pre-pup, and my client requires ones.”	1.2250	0.05024	80	63	16	1
4152	So, you'll get the car. She will get the rest of the estate.	1.2250	0.05024	80	63	16	1
4153	Your monthly alimony payments will consist of a bison bone, two bags of Pedigree and a slipper	1.2250	0.05329	80	64	14	2
4154	You'll have to agree to go to this three week training class so that you'll be qualified to walk Simon.	1.2250	0.05024	80	63	16	1
4155	It seems that the, well.... let's call it.... 'fixing'.... is a deal breaker!	1.2247	0.04990	89	71	16	2
4156	My client insists on a prenup.	1.2247	0.05240	89	72	14	3
4157	Sorry son, I had give Otto the position. We have a strict no nepotism policy.	1.2247	0.05240	89	72	14	3
4158	Why don't you take this and come back in, say, 11 dog years.	1.2247	0.05707	89	74	10	5
4159	Do better than him and you’re hired.	1.2247	0.04990	89	71	16	2
4160	Because of her distinguished pedigree, she thought a prepuptial agreement is appropriate before you take her home.	1.2247	0.04990	89	71	16	2
4161	You'll get custody of the puppies Monday through Friday but they'll have to be back to her no later than 5PM.	1.2247	0.05478	89	73	12	4
4162	Sign here to acknowledge this dog is now your owner.	1.2247	0.04990	89	71	16	2
4163	Welcome to the newest Matrix.	1.2247	0.04990	89	71	16	2
4164	Buddy is asking for your signed acknowledgment that it is he who is a good boy.	1.2247	0.05240	89	72	14	3
4165	Sorry, the corner office is strictly reserved for the dog’s business.	1.2247	0.05707	89	74	10	5
4166	And when the split is finalized, my client would like you to put out this statement affirming that he's a very good boy.	1.2247	0.05240	89	72	14	3
4167	Snowball and I would appreciate your discretion on anything you may have witnessed between us. On this piece of paper, you will find a picture of your son at school from this morning. Snowball would be so upset to hear that something happened to him.	1.2247	0.04990	89	71	16	2
4168	She wants her dog house and bed, food bowls,and monthly dogimony for food,treats,and grooming.	1.2247	0.05240	89	72	14	3
4169	When his SPAC acquires your company, he will be the Chairman, but he promises to play fetch with you on a weekly basis.	1.2247	0.04990	89	71	16	2
4170	By signing, you agree that henceforth, his bark is worse than his bite.	1.2247	0.04728	89	70	18	1
4171	Look, Rover, our CEO guarantees this is a pet friendly workplace!	1.2247	0.04990	89	71	16	2
4172	As per the terms, my client has to rip up and shred this with his teeth before you read it.	1.2245	0.04707	98	78	18	2
4173	Spolier alert. Fido finished his hiring test in record time. Your turn.	1.2245	0.04478	98	77	20	1
4174	He only wants the house in the backyard.	1.2245	0.04707	98	78	18	2
4175	Here's our ask. And as a show of good faith, Samson is willing to let you keep one testicle.	1.2245	0.04707	98	78	18	2
4176	My client's willing to settle for two bones and a slab of meat.	1.2245	0.04707	98	78	18	2
4177	Boswell you're a plagiarist, This report has Fido's paw prints all over it.	1.2245	0.04478	98	77	20	1
4178	It's a formal schedule for walks. Think of it as a gym membership without the shame of a failed New Year's resolution.	1.2239	0.05131	67	52	15	0
4179	My client says you inappropriately touched her after coercing her into doing tricks for kibble.	1.2237	0.05493	76	61	13	2
4180	I made a few copies, in case my client eats them.	1.2237	0.06098	76	63	9	4
4181	I’m sorry, but he works so much better from home.	1.2237	0.05803	76	62	11	3
4182	He's offering his doghouse in exchange of the bed, couch and treats.	1.2237	0.04812	76	59	17	0
4183	Benji’’s final offer to prevent neutering.	1.2237	0.05493	76	61	13	2
4184	This form states that it is, in fact, you who are a silly boy.	1.2237	0.05493	76	61	13	2
4185	You will notice that the daily treat quota is significantly higher than your zero.	1.2237	0.05493	76	61	13	2
4186	My client demands more treats and fewer hours hiding from the vacuum.	1.2237	0.05164	76	60	15	1
4187	Just be sure not to say "doggone it" during meetings	1.2237	0.05493	76	61	13	2
4188	It's a prepuptial agreement that outlines the distribution of tennis balls in the event of a separation.	1.2237	0.05493	76	61	13	2
4189	You get the fleas on weekend and select holidays.	1.2237	0.05803	76	62	11	3
4190	I need to warn you, this assignment could get a bit hairy.	1.2235	0.05391	85	69	13	3
4191	Just sign below his pawprint.	1.2235	0.05125	85	68	15	2
4192	In this separation agreement, my client requests: 1) a lifetime supply of dog biscuits, 2) free vet care for life, 3) a lifetime supply of filet mignon, and 4) full ownership of a doghouse - with a backyard to bury bones.	1.2235	0.04844	85	67	17	1
4193	First up, this is a liability waiver absolving my client of any responsibility that would elicit a "bad dog" accusation.	1.2235	0.05125	85	68	15	2
4194	He’d like to see your crumple and toss skills.	1.2235	0.04844	85	67	17	1
4195	He’s sorry, but the adoption agreement clearly states he gets to attend doggie daycare three days a week.	1.2235	0.04844	85	67	17	1
4196	You have to vow and sign to be his best friend.	1.2235	0.05391	85	69	13	3
4197	He has already put his print on the contract.	1.2235	0.05391	85	69	13	3
4198	My client would like to make a counter-offer: two tummy rubs and a W-A-L-K both before and after dinner.	1.2235	0.05391	85	69	13	3
4199	As helpless and needy you are, the suffocating relationship needs to stop.	1.2235	0.05125	85	68	15	2
4200	She thinks cheap dog food is a good reason to sign the divorce.	1.2235	0.05888	85	71	9	5
4201	And, finally, you won’t discuss this with other dogs.	1.2235	0.05645	85	70	11	4
4202	Well, we're not off-shoring your job.	1.2235	0.05125	85	68	15	2
4203	And he agrees to leave you leg alone.	1.2235	0.04844	85	67	17	1
4204	We refer to it as a pre-nip.	1.2235	0.05125	85	68	15	2
4205	By signing this non-disclosure agreement, you agree never to disclose that our CEO is a dog.	1.2235	0.05645	85	70	11	4
4206	By signing this contract,you agree to give frequent belly rubs and cuddles to my client	1.2234	0.05052	94	76	15	3
4207	It's a simple game. Just pick the paper the check is under. The dog wins almost every time.	1.2234	0.04820	94	75	17	2
4208	Sign here for custody every other weekend at the beach house.	1.2234	0.04576	94	74	19	1
4209	The ‘no kennels’ clause is non-negotiable.	1.2234	0.04820	94	75	17	2
4210	Most dogvorces are not this amicable.	1.2234	0.04820	94	75	17	2
4211	Now it's your turn to find the button.	1.2234	0.04820	94	75	17	2
4212	Fuzzy will be your immediate supervisor	1.2234	0.05052	94	76	15	3
4213	So we've got the hold harmless and the non-disclosure on the bite signed. Now just sign the kibble support agreement and we're done. Above the highlighted line, right next to the paw print.	1.2234	0.05052	94	76	15	3
4214	While I'm gone why dont you two get acquainted, sniff each other out ?	1.2234	0.05052	94	76	15	3
4215	This time you get the doghouse.	1.2234	0.05052	94	76	15	3
4216	Your dog wants a full divorce and half of all your assets.	1.2234	0.04820	94	75	17	2
4217	It’s about mutual respect. Every other weekend, you’ll sleep on the floor and drink from the toilet bowl. You’ll also get neutered, scheduled at Buddy’s convenience.	1.2234	0.04319	94	73	21	0
4218	Can you please state for the record where went last Monday when you left my client forever?	1.2233	0.04962	103	84	15	4
4219	My client wants all the dog toys and unlimited access to the yard.	1.2232	0.04696	112	91	17	4
4220	It's like an antenuptial agreement, but for pets.	1.2231	0.04147	121	96	23	2
4221	I'm sorry, we thought you were more groomed for the position.	1.2222	0.04648	81	63	18	0
4222	Off leash runs five times a week is our final offer.	1.2222	0.05188	90	73	14	3
4223	My client insisted on a pre-pup agreement.	1.2222	0.05270	81	65	14	2
4224	Start with 'Dear Faithful Companion.	1.2222	0.04407	90	70	20	0
4225	Trust me, working here with your bud will be exciting	1.2222	0.04620	108	87	18	3
4226	He also wants the summer house.	1.2222	0.05316	72	57	14	1
4227	She says she'll give you the cat but she wants the Tesla.	1.2222	0.05672	72	58	12	2
4228	Do you want to think about it; or phone a best friend	1.2222	0.05270	81	65	14	2
4229	The dog gets the house.	1.2222	0.05556	81	66	12	3
4230	these are her demands. plus she wants the time share in cancun.	1.2222	0.04969	81	64	16	1
4231	I'm afraid my clients position is that leg-humping is not optional.	1.2222	0.04969	81	64	16	1
4232	I'm all in thanks to Fido and his excellent mediating skills.	1.2222	0.05672	72	58	12	2
4233	An uncontested divorce can be finalized without a judge	1.2222	0.04682	90	71	18	1
4234	Just your standard pre-pup.	1.2222	0.04941	90	72	16	2
4235	Mr. Rover would like to express his gratitude for your many years of service. We hope this severance package is to your liking. 'Who's a good boy! 'Who's a good boy? You were!'	1.2222	0.05744	63	50	12	1
4236	My client finds your use of the term ‘woof’ to be vague and inconsistent.	1.2222	0.04969	81	64	16	1
4237	The first part of the test is to write your favorite cat joke.	1.2222	0.04665	99	79	18	2
4238	She'll give you the plush toys if she can have the old loafers and the coffee table legs.	1.2222	0.05672	72	58	12	2
4239	My client wants you to be a “good boy” & sign this motion to vacate the premises.	1.2222	0.05087	99	81	14	4
4240	My client says that his current number of belly rubs is more than inadequate.	1.2222	0.04648	81	63	18	0
4241	Yes, he still is fond of you, but your ex agreed she won't make him chase sticks or eat canned dogfood.	1.2222	0.05827	81	67	10	4
4242	As part of the divorce he gets the house.	1.2222	0.05270	81	65	14	2
4243	She wants the dog house and full custody of the pups.	1.2222	0.05827	81	67	10	4
4244	We'll see if your application passes the sniff test.	1.2222	0.06007	72	59	10	3
4245	No, Scout gets all the bones and is allowed to chase the cat every other week, all you get is the house, the cars and the money	1.2222	0.06007	72	59	10	3
4246	I can bring in an interpreter if you’re having trouble reading the lease.	1.2222	0.05672	72	58	12	2
4247	No more snoring or it's the couch for you.	1.2222	0.04682	90	71	18	1
4248	She keeps the house and all the squeaky toys.	1.2222	0.04941	90	72	16	2
4249	I know it's demoralizing, but since Covid took your sense of smell we've decided we need to make some changes.	1.2222	0.04407	90	70	20	0
4250	It was an easy choice	1.2222	0.04981	108	89	14	5
4251	Here's the pre-pup. Sign now before she jumps off the chair.	1.2222	0.05188	90	73	14	3
4252	So, Rover has written what he believes is a fair salary offer.	1.2222	0.05556	81	66	12	3
4253	Another no-ball offer.	1.2222	0.05188	90	73	14	3
4254	My client's opening offer is 3 treats per day and filet on Fridays.	1.2222	0.05270	81	65	14	2
4255	After speaking with the client, our firm feels a need to clarify what is meant by "pro bono."	1.2222	0.05087	99	81	14	4
4256	I'm afraid the dog gets the wife.	1.2222	0.05270	81	65	14	2
4257	One way or another, you're going to be in the dog house.	1.2222	0.05270	81	65	14	2
4258	The terms and conditions of your next walk are in this here envelope.	1.2222	0.04969	81	64	16	1
4259	Continued use of “Good girl” is offensive. He identifies as a male and prefers fire hydrants.	1.2222	0.04881	99	80	16	3
4260	...and that any future requests to fetch, beg, or play dead be notarized and submitted in writing.	1.2222	0.05270	81	65	14	2
4261	Feed and house him and he is yours in puppetuity	1.2222	0.04881	99	80	16	3
4262	You can keep the dry dog food.	1.2222	0.04648	81	63	18	0
4263	Here's the number of treats my client will require to be adorable.	1.2222	0.04941	90	72	16	2
4264	In this business, it’s all about having the right coat.	1.2222	0.05188	90	73	14	3
4265	I'm sorry Jenkins, it all came down to the essay question, and we believe Buttons here presented a more cogent thesis on why he should be our new Marketing Director.	1.2222	0.05827	81	67	10	4
4266	All our rescues come with a mandatory pre-pup....	1.2222	0.04941	90	72	16	2
4267	This part of the interview is about loyalty	1.2222	0.05316	72	57	14	1
4268	It's a deal. The dogs of other successful men are demanding 25%.	1.2222	0.05672	72	58	12	2
4269	She would prefer that you take the timeshare.	1.2222	0.04682	90	71	18	1
4270	My client is seeking joint custody of the cat, Tom.	1.2222	0.04969	81	64	16	1
4271	My client demands that you cease-and-desist from fake-throwing sticks	1.2222	0.04881	99	80	16	3
4272	This is the DNA document. Dog not accountable	1.2222	0.05270	81	65	14	2
4273	My client would like to add the stipulation that any demonstration of affection towards canines other than herself will not be allowed, and that violation of this condition will result in aggressive and inevitably highly embarrassing behavior.	1.2222	0.05556	81	66	12	3
4274	He want's shared custody of your wife!	1.2222	0.05556	81	66	12	3
4275	Since Spot vs Mr Jones 2017, tennis ball fake outs are prohibited in this state. Pay the fine and don’t let it happen again	1.2222	0.05648	90	75	10	5
4276	Do you think you could recalculate your work experience in dog years?	1.2222	0.05316	72	57	14	1
4277	This is a fairly simple dog-walker agreement.	1.2222	0.04438	99	78	20	1
4278	If you're willing to work with us on the kibble, my client will agree to relinquish the bits.	1.2222	0.04229	108	85	22	1
4279	Sparky has scrawled a number on this piece of paper. If you choose to accept it,nod once and you'll become his official walking companion.	1.2222	0.04969	81	64	16	1
4280	Your performance this quarter was ruff.	1.2222	0.04682	90	71	18	1
4281	Your competitor for this job has already laid her pencil down. Are you sure you still want to take this test?	1.2222	0.05423	90	74	12	4
4282	In this separation, you must agree to take the cat.	1.2222	0.06007	72	59	10	3
4283	My partner here wants to make sure that this agreement here is not barking up the wrong tree.	1.2222	0.05270	81	65	14	2
4284	“ Kibble is a nonstarter”	1.2222	0.04981	108	89	14	5
4285	Dog needs pizza	1.2222	0.05478	99	83	10	6
4286	And Daisy here gets custody of the puppy.	1.2222	0.05827	81	67	10	4
4287	Look, we're all man's best friend here, let's not make a scene.	1.2212	0.04918	104	85	15	4
4288	My client demands an immediate divorce and a safe return to the dog shelter.	1.2212	0.04089	104	81	23	0
4289	For Dogs Sake, take this property and don't blow 'TRUMP'et.	1.2212	0.05105	104	86	13	5
4290	We have evidence proving that he is in fact the best boy. It’s over Steve, I suggest you take the offer on the table.	1.2211	0.04534	95	75	19	1
4291	He's demanding punitive damages and all royalties from that "Barking Jingle Bells" song you recorded and released in 2005 without his permission.	1.2211	0.05223	95	78	13	4
4292	The dog’s my lawyer. Don’t worry, he’s paper-trained.	1.2211	0.05004	95	77	15	3
4293	I’m sorry Ralph, the Best Friend position has been filled. Would you consider Assistant to the Best Friend? It involves a lot of fresh air and treats.	1.2211	0.04280	95	74	21	0
4294	You get the bowl and kibbles, he gets the house.	1.2211	0.04775	95	76	17	2
4295	You made the right choice to settle, I simply dont think we could find a jury to agree one treat a day is enough.	1.2211	0.05004	95	77	15	3
4296	That’s four hundred fifty thousand actual bones.	1.2211	0.04775	95	76	17	2
4297	C'mon, throw him a bone here. You already got the doghouse." Jack Dragisic, Elmhurst, IL	1.2211	0.04656	95	78	14	3
4298	Yes, of course we're proceeding in the Court of Common Fleas-didn't your people lawyer explain that to you?	1.2211	0.04775	95	76	17	2
4299	And here in Section 17, you agree, once a day, to scratch my client behind the ears and ask, “Who’s a good boy?” And then to respond, “You’re a good boy!”.	1.2211	0.05004	95	77	15	3
4300	Buster loved barking orders to his subordinates.	1.2211	0.04534	95	75	19	1
4301	Before we can move forward with the adoption, Pal would like you to sign this prenip.	1.2211	0.05004	95	77	15	3
4302	When you forget to feed the dog and he sues you for puppy endangerment	1.2211	0.04775	95	76	17	2
4303	Perhaps you’d rather shake on it?	1.2209	0.05335	86	70	13	3
4304	Now let's get down to his business.	1.2209	0.05335	86	70	13	3
4305	In your separation settlement agreement, Rover will receive ground beef everyday to eat and a bone once a week on which to chew.	1.2209	0.05335	86	70	13	3
4306	Tell me who does your hair and you're hired.	1.2209	0.05585	86	71	11	4
4307	My client will agree to settle but he only accepts Dogecoin.	1.2209	0.05335	86	70	13	3
4308	And this stipulates that she is always a Good Dog, subject to these limited Bad Dog activities.	1.2209	0.05072	86	69	15	2
4309	Fido's willing to throw you a bone by letting you keep the doghouse.	1.2209	0.04794	86	68	17	1
4310	He'll expect you to work like a dog.	1.2209	0.05585	86	71	11	4
4311	Sorry, he says your only options are kibbles or bits.	1.2209	0.05335	86	70	13	3
4312	He wants a divorce	1.2209	0.05072	86	69	15	2
4313	He wants to ensure his quality of life is sustained following the Pandemic.	1.2209	0.05335	86	70	13	3
4314	Before you can take her home, you need to sign this pre-pup agreement.	1.2209	0.05072	86	69	15	2
4315	It's a standard 'pre pup' clause: belly rub every day followed by whose a good boy!?]	1.2209	0.05072	86	69	15	2
4316	My client is simply no longer interested in being your best friend.	1.2209	0.05585	86	71	11	4
4317	Before he agrees to become your pet he insists that you sign this prepup.	1.2209	0.05335	86	70	13	3
4318	My client says you're paper trained...	1.2209	0.04794	86	68	17	1
4319	Our CEO would like you to write down your expected salary and then draw a picture of your favorite animal.	1.2209	0.05335	86	70	13	3
4320	She gets the Cape house, you get the dog house.	1.2209	0.05072	86	69	15	2
4321	So now I have to ask you. Are you a good boy?	1.2209	0.04500	86	67	19	0
4322	As a final condition of the adoption, my client wants you to sign this contract stating that you won't just use him to talk to girls at the dog run because you're "sick of the apps." Those girls are all married, or nearly so, and avoiding having kids	1.2209	0.04794	86	68	17	1
4323	How’s your proficiency with, you know, the scooper? My assistant will be dropping the test!	1.2209	0.05072	86	69	15	2
4324	Rover has requested a Non Disclosure Agreement before he walks today.	1.2209	0.05072	86	69	15	2
4325	My client's final offer is unconditional love.	1.2208	0.06026	77	64	9	4
4326	My client is proposing a pre-puptial agreement.	1.2208	0.05104	77	61	15	1
4327	Keep the bird, but the cat is mine.	1.2208	0.05429	77	62	13	2
4328	You're doing well on learning to sit. We feel you could show improvement in begging for treats.	1.2208	0.05104	77	61	15	1
4329	Your next interview is with our emotional support staff.	1.2208	0.05104	77	61	15	1
4330	If you agree to the settlement, he's willing to drop the matter of you putting him in the you-know-what house the night you lost your temper.	1.2208	0.05429	77	62	13	2
4331	We need to see how you do at writing some doggerel.	1.2208	0.05429	77	62	13	2
4332	My client consents to everything up to, but not including, heavy petting.	1.2208	0.05104	77	61	15	1
4333	Which stack is your check under?	1.2208	0.05429	77	62	13	2
4334	I'm sorry Mr. Jones, we cannot give you the promotion. As a Fortune 500 company, we have to maintain diversity in our leadership.	1.2208	0.05429	77	62	13	2
4335	My client has alleged there has been a breach of Fidociary duties and would like me to arfbitrate.	1.2208	0.05429	77	62	13	2
4336	I'd like you to also fill out a list of the treats you'd like when you do a god job.	1.2208	0.05429	77	62	13	2
4337	Just sign below the paw print	1.2208	0.05429	77	62	13	2
4338	Look, Max here from HR has put together a generous severance package for you that I want you to look at.	1.2206	0.05869	68	55	11	2
4339	...and furthermore, we expect you to retrieve Mr. Binksley's droppings in perpetuity.	1.2206	0.05066	68	53	15	0
4340	Congratulations upon joining our loyalty program.	1.2206	0.05869	68	55	11	2
4341	He wants it writing, if you don’t throw the stick, he’s not fetching	1.2206	0.06231	68	56	9	3
4342	He'd like to apply for the pro bono defense fund	1.2206	0.05869	68	55	11	2
4343	I've found he can remote work as well as you. However, you will need to train him.	1.2203	0.04193	118	94	22	2
4344	Two meals / three snacks daily or we walk.	1.2202	0.04764	109	89	16	4
4345	You should know, this job is all about loyalty--and, of course, fetch.	1.2200	0.04623	100	80	18	2
4346	Sign it, or we go back to the breeder.	1.2200	0.04837	100	81	16	3
4347	It's a standard leash buyout agreement.	1.2200	0.04623	100	80	18	2
4348	Here are my client’s demands in toto.	1.2198	0.05591	91	76	10	5
4349	My client is suing for all the kibbles and bits.	1.2198	0.04893	91	73	16	2
4350	You can keep the Brownstone, but Rufus wants the dog house in Palm Beach and custody of the kids.	1.2198	0.04893	91	73	16	2
4351	At Bark Record Labels, we encourage all employees to refrain from using the term "twerking" and instead use "wagging the tail".	1.2198	0.04893	91	73	16	2
4352	Signing the affidavit is your acknowledgement that Sparky is a very good boy, and he is to be rewarded with treats at the times throughout the day indicated with your initials.	1.2198	0.05136	91	74	14	3
4353	Sign this and the dog's alienation of affection claim is settled!	1.2198	0.05136	91	74	14	3
4354	Work? Play? I don’t care! He’s willing to come in.	1.2198	0.05136	91	74	14	3
4355	Yes, Rover would be your immediate supervisor. Do you have a problem with that?	1.2198	0.05136	91	74	14	3
4356	Ok, now let’s talk about his dining requirements.	1.2198	0.05369	91	75	12	4
4357	My dog and I have looked over your resume and we do not feel that you are qualified for the job.	1.2198	0.05136	91	74	14	3
4358	This is just the arfidavit. Details come later.	1.2198	0.05136	91	74	14	3
4359	Did you or did you not feed my client a half-dozen fried oysters and a pint of butter brickle ice cream on December 19, 2019?	1.2198	0.04365	91	71	20	0
4360	I find that mediation works best if both people in a couple make a list of things they once loved about the other.	1.2198	0.04893	91	73	16	2
4361	Ginger has a few issues with the prepup.	1.2198	0.04893	91	73	16	2
4362	My client will stipulate to joint custody of the toilet water.	1.2198	0.04893	91	73	16	2
4363	Why it's your pre-puptial agreement of course.	1.2198	0.04636	91	72	18	1
4364	I speak for my partner when I say, “Grrrr. Ruff! Ruff!”	1.2198	0.04893	91	73	16	2
4365	As to who gets the wife is still the big question.	1.2198	0.04636	91	72	18	1
4366	Rover refuses to sign unless there's a five-year bone residual clause.	1.2198	0.04636	91	72	18	1
4367	Fetch, boy.	1.2195	0.05213	82	66	14	2
4368	Mr. Shaggy requests a stay upon being asked to "Stay."	1.2195	0.05213	82	66	14	2
4369	Now . . . how have you been a good boy?	1.2195	0.04916	82	65	16	1
4370	And by "house" we do not mean "doghouse"!	1.2195	0.04916	82	65	16	1
4371	A Pre-Puptual Agreement is for your protection, too…	1.2195	0.05762	82	68	10	4
4372	You really thought you could marry Elon Musk's dog without a prenup?	1.2195	0.05494	82	67	12	3
4373	Cozy strongly suggests that you add “dog lover” to your resume.	1.2195	0.05213	82	66	14	2
4374	All I can tll you that he's s saying is "Bow wow, bow wow, bow wow!"	1.2195	0.05762	82	68	10	4
4375	He's prepared to let you keep Squeaky-bunny, but spit-soaked-tennis-ball is a deal-breaker.	1.2195	0.05213	82	66	14	2
4376	Your partner has signed - now I need your paw print as well	1.2195	0.04599	82	64	18	0
4377	Ironically,he left YOU the doghouse.	1.2195	0.05213	82	66	14	2
4378	He says you can have the little house. He’s keeping the big house this time.	1.2195	0.05494	82	67	12	3
4379	No, I said this was the "Ruff Draft."	1.2195	0.05213	82	66	14	2
4380	My client wants a divorce. He's tired of sleeping on the floor and eating leftovers. Also, he will no longer answer to Fluffyboy -- from now on, call him Phillip.	1.2195	0.05494	82	67	12	3
4381	Sir, Fluffy decides that you can keep the children.	1.2195	0.05213	82	66	14	2
4382	He's not a puppy any more. He gets to be the decider.	1.2195	0.05213	82	66	14	2
4383	It was a difficult choice but	1.2195	0.05213	82	66	14	2
4384	You, as director of the Broadway revival of "Annie," allows my client, Sandy, all matinee performances off with his approval of an understudy replacement.	1.2195	0.05762	82	68	10	4
4385	Frankly, Jim-Bob, Scooter here scored pretty high on the aptitude test. Let's see if you have any tricks up your sleeve!	1.2195	0.04916	82	65	16	1
4386	‘It’s just the standard prepupual agreement.’	1.2195	0.05494	82	67	12	3
4387	He works at a lower salary, no benefits, and doesn't insist on working-from-home.	1.2192	0.05602	73	59	12	2
4388	Spot has decided that he will stop pooping on the good rugs for no less than 4 belly rubs a day.	1.2192	0.05251	73	58	14	1
4389	Sign the agreement on who sleeps on the bed or the floor!	1.2192	0.05932	73	60	10	3
4390	So you will no longer be required to take her out, but will be expected to provide kibble to the extent she has become accustomed.	1.2192	0.05251	73	58	14	1
4391	He signed his name, but yes, you can use a hand print.	1.2192	0.05251	73	58	14	1
4392	Sign here and my client agrees to stop peeing on the carpet.	1.2190	0.04684	105	85	17	3
4393	It's just the standard prenup.	1.2190	0.04485	105	84	19	2
4394	My client finds the term, " Hair of the dog that bit you" to be offensive and derogatory.	1.2188	0.04957	96	78	15	3
4395	Man’s best friend? She just sued you for all you’ve got!	1.2188	0.05581	96	81	9	6
4396	You'll find the vet benefits extremely favorable	1.2188	0.04110	96	77	18	1
4397	Ownership of his master recordings and right of first refusal on all floor food - final offer.	1.2188	0.05381	96	80	11	5
4398	Mr. Woof is our Director of Human Resources and will conduct the training session.	1.2188	0.04492	96	76	19	1
4399	As part of your plea bargain, please describe in detail the manner and circumstances of your biting him.	1.2188	0.04957	96	78	15	3
4400	He wants the house, too.	1.2188	0.06087	64	52	10	2
4401	My client is willing to relinquish all custody of the front lawn in exchange for the dog house.	1.2188	0.04492	96	76	19	1
4402	My client wants the doghouse.	1.2188	0.04730	96	77	17	2
4403	Of course he's not your replacement. I am.	1.2188	0.04730	96	77	17	2
4404	Obviously, you're not familiar with the Rufus vs McClain case regarding couch access.	1.2188	0.04492	96	76	19	1
4405	FIDO will accept your reduced Monday through Thursday schedule for daily walks, but he has increased his grain-free turkey and sweet potato meal to TWICE a day. If you agree to this final change, FIDO is ready to sign.	1.2188	0.05381	96	80	11	5
4406	Let’s begin. Fluffy wants the house, the kids, and your wife.	1.2184	0.05279	87	71	13	3
4407	It's an NDA stating you can't talk about her peeing on your rug or drinking out of the toilet bowl.	1.2184	0.05019	87	70	15	2
4408	Sorry, it is pretty straightforward here in California, she gets half of everything.	1.2184	0.05526	87	72	11	4
4409	My client insists that you make him your primary beneficiary should you pass before he does and that all dog items currently in your home becomes his property.	1.2184	0.04746	87	69	17	1
4410	I am afraid the dog's response to the questions was very satisfactory, and he will be offered the job. You are free to go...	1.2184	0.04746	87	69	17	1
4411	He's no longer your best friend.	1.2184	0.04455	87	68	19	0
4412	Mr. Chaucy requires a 6:00 am walk and prefers the lavender waste bags.	1.2184	0.05019	87	70	15	2
4413	Don't be intimidated. Our department head stares at all the applicants that way.	1.2184	0.04746	87	69	17	1
4414	"I don't think promising to never dress him up in clothes or silly hats is signing your life away for your best friend."	1.2184	0.05279	87	71	13	3
4415	No. Ownership of both houses.	1.2184	0.05279	87	71	13	3
4416	And when you see the settlement offer, we’ll already know your response; Rusty is trained to sniff out both elation and disdain.	1.2184	0.05526	87	72	11	4
4417	Write what you expect your salary to be. If it's lower than Benji's, you've got the job.	1.2184	0.05279	87	71	13	3
4418	It might not have come to this if every once in a while you would have fetched the ball for him.	1.2184	0.05526	87	72	11	4
4419	Rover would like you sign this pre-nup agreement	1.2184	0.05279	87	71	13	3
4420	He wants you to try to releave yourself on paper this small.	1.2184	0.05763	87	73	9	5
4421	My client is willing to cede the vacation home and art collection, in return for custody of your socks.	1.2184	0.05763	87	73	9	5
4422	He's asking for 10 bones per week as alimony.	1.2184	0.04746	87	69	17	1
4423	As you'll see in section 2C, the conversion of assets means that Pancake will have access to all of your socks.	1.2184	0.05279	87	71	13	3
4424	And you get to keep this sheet of paper.	1.2184	0.04746	87	69	17	1
4425	Yes Mr Jones, they are very perceptive, it's a case of three woofs and you're out.	1.2184	0.05019	87	70	15	2
4426	He says the story needs more bite.	1.2184	0.04746	87	69	17	1
4427	I think you'll find his terms quite favorable. You can keep the cat.	1.2184	0.04746	87	69	17	1
4428	Don’t worry, Bob. It’s a standard pre-puptual agreement designed to protect both you and Fluffy.	1.2184	0.05526	87	72	11	4
4429	Are the two of you married?	1.2184	0.05019	87	70	15	2
4430	My client has directed me to write a large number on this page… and no, it is not in dog years	1.2184	0.05019	87	70	15	2
4431	Once you sign, the decree is final. As per the agreement, you may keep the leash and food dish, though not his fuzzy bear, which is not negotiable.	1.2184	0.05019	87	70	15	2
4432	And this is the pre-pup agreement.	1.2184	0.05526	87	72	11	4
4433	My client would like you to pay the 1,000 bones up front.	1.2184	0.05019	87	70	15	2
4434	Dog walk duty is each Tuesday at nine, one, and five. Scooper bags are kept next to the water cooler. The roof has a plot of grass. Questions?	1.2184	0.04746	87	69	17	1
4435	He's only asking for the dog house and half of the backyard.	1.2182	0.04161	110	87	22	1
4436	[voiceover] "It had been a ruff divorce, and this dog was going to have its day. Spot had a bone to pick, and he was time to get even."	1.2179	0.05046	78	62	15	1
4437	You promised that he could sleep in your bed. However, your girlfriend keeps kicking him in the head. He says get rid of the girlfriend.	1.2179	0.05366	78	63	13	2
4438	Please, me and my client both know you're all bark but no bite.	1.2179	0.05668	78	64	11	3
4439	He's a good boy who needs you to update your withholding.	1.2179	0.05046	78	62	15	1
4440	He may be my best friend, but that has no bearing on my decision to replace you.	1.2179	0.05954	78	65	9	4
4441	Finally, if you want the car, he gets the house...and he'll gladly concede the two stupid cats.	1.2179	0.04140	78	62	16	0
4442	This is probationary. He’ll need to smell you in 90 days.	1.2179	0.05046	78	62	15	1
4443	As for possessions, my client wants the squeaky ball. You may keep the leash.	1.2179	0.05366	78	63	13	2
4444	Two biscuits are not going to do it... Trust me if we go to trial you don't stand a chance....	1.2179	0.05668	78	64	11	3
4445	As the settlement states, all he wants is the couch and your socks	1.2179	0.05366	78	63	13	2
4446	Success in this firm requires dogged determination.	1.2179	0.05046	78	62	15	1
4447	Sorry, dog prints only.	1.2179	0.05366	78	63	13	2
4448	My client insists on shared custody of the spouse plus an allowance that maintains his standard of living to include meals and entertainment, wardrobe, grooming, medical care, and transportation.	1.2179	0.05668	78	64	11	3
4449	He needs you to sign this pre-adoption agreement.	1.2179	0.05046	78	62	15	1
4450	She says you can keep the house in the divorce but she wants to keep the frisbees.	1.2179	0.05366	78	63	13	2
4451	'Well, now he has sniffed you and knows all about you, it's your turn to learn everything you can about him in ten minutes.'	1.2178	0.04582	101	81	18	2
4452	Ralph here would like a list of your Bonafides.	1.2178	0.04794	101	82	16	3
4453	Please sign our nondisclosure agreement. Bowser is a very private pup. Where he goes is his business.	1.2178	0.04582	101	81	18	2
4454	It's called a "prepuptial" agreement.	1.2178	0.04361	101	80	20	1
4455	My client insists on full custody of the puppies and payment of $1000.00 per month in support. You may have visitation on alternate weekends at a supervised dog park.	1.2178	0.04128	101	79	22	0
4456	I recommend you throw the prosecutor a bone so we can settle this early	1.2178	0.04361	101	80	20	1
4457	Regarding the case of stepping on his tail, here is my client's list of demands: 10 pats a day, 100 walks a day, and 1000 "good boy!"s daily.	1.2174	0.04592	92	75	15	2
4458	She wants the doghouse.	1.2174	0.04845	92	74	16	2
4459	No, Snuffles gets the car...	1.2174	0.05792	69	56	11	2
4460	... which will settle, once and for all, that my clients is, indeed, a good boy.	1.2174	0.05086	92	75	14	3
4461	Congratulations. You’ve got the dog.	1.2174	0.04592	92	73	18	1
4462	You'll need to provide a full list of words you hide through S-P-E-L-L-I-N-G	1.2174	0.05411	69	55	13	1
4463	Mr. Pickles wants you to know that he will use the balance of the estate as he sees fit and that your retainer is in the front garden.	1.2174	0.05315	92	76	12	4
4464	We'll pay for new shoes, but the cat has to go.	1.2174	0.05792	69	56	11	2
4465	This is Ruffy from HR. He's here to evaluate your ability to interact with others after your isolation at home with during quarantine.	1.2174	0.04845	92	74	16	2
4466	This is his final offer. Take it or he talks.”	1.2174	0.06149	69	57	9	3
4467	He says do it again and for god sake add a tennis ball	1.2174	0.04845	92	74	16	2
4468	By signing here, you agree to joint custody of the couch but relinquish your right to ask for any and all paws.	1.2174	0.04845	92	74	16	2
4469	The puppy is satisfied that you have no virus, you may go.	1.2174	0.04592	92	73	18	1
4470	These are the accounts Skiffles wants you to work on for him.	1.2174	0.04845	92	74	16	2
4471	As mediator I feel I am obligated to disclose to both of you that I do, on occasion, like chasing a ball.	1.2174	0.04592	92	73	18	1
4472	He may not be a good boy, but he is fair.	1.2174	0.04592	92	73	18	1
4473	Final straw? When you told everyone he ate your novel, which you know, you were never going to finish.	1.2174	0.05792	69	56	11	2
4474	Yes,he is suing for alienation of affection. You should have never brought home that cat!	1.2174	0.05315	92	76	12	4
4475	She wants the back yard to be included in the settlement.	1.2170	0.04645	106	86	17	3
4476	Mr. Fido’s offer is really very generous.	1.2170	0.04645	106	86	17	3
4477	My client will forgo her claims on one-half of the investment portfolio and real estate properties in exchange for full ownership of all snack drawer contents.	1.2170	0.04645	106	86	17	3
4478	My client is done obeying your commands.	1.2169	0.04551	83	65	18	0
4479	At 6:27 PM on August 21st of this year, you did not address your dog and my client Biff Gundersson with the obligatory greeting of “Who’s a good boy? You are! Yes you are!”, thereby revoking your privileges as Biff’s best friend, in perpetuity.	1.2169	0.05156	83	67	14	2
4480	This is a pre-puptual agreement.	1.2169	0.05434	83	68	12	3
4481	Bob, in the test of loyalty to our corporation, Fido here has won. I'm afraid we'll have to let you go.	1.2169	0.05434	83	68	12	3
4482	Full disclosure of income, assets and liabilities, plus a million dollar life insurance policy naming Buffy as the sole beneficiary - standard new adoption policy...	1.2169	0.05698	83	69	10	4
4483	My client is prepared to settle for the shiny water bowl, squatting rights to the front lawn in perpetuity, and permission to change her name from "Sandy Bobo" to "Margot the Magnificent."	1.2169	0.04551	83	65	18	0
4484	There’s an Arabic saying every dogs’ day, arrives, this is yours	1.2169	0.05156	83	67	14	2
4485	The terms are as follows: three belly rubs per day, minimum; one new bone per month; and the cat has to go.	1.2169	0.05434	83	68	12	3
4486	Start anytime. One woof mean 'yes' and two woofs mean 'no'.	1.2169	0.04863	83	66	16	1
4487	Rover wants you to sign this standard NDA, Nice Dog Agreement, in case this doesn't work out and you have to return him.	1.2169	0.05156	83	67	14	2
4488	I know you have a prenup but there are still a few issues to resolve.	1.2169	0.05434	83	68	12	3
4489	Your resume is quite suitable, but my partner and I will have to walk about it for a while.	1.2169	0.05156	83	67	14	2
4490	Sign here to say that you will love working from home in 2022!	1.2169	0.05434	83	68	12	3
4491	You signed a pre-nip."	1.2169	0.05434	83	68	12	3
4492	My client would like joint custody of the puppies.	1.2169	0.04863	83	66	16	1
4493	And you agree to roll over and play dead on her command.	1.2169	0.04863	83	66	16	1
4494	My client Mr. McWaggles gets the house. You get the dog house.	1.2169	0.05156	83	67	14	2
4495	You can keep the furniture, but he wants the fire hydrant, bones, and squirrels.	1.2169	0.05434	83	68	12	3
4496	My client would like to negotiate for the doghouse in the Hamptons.	1.2169	0.05156	83	67	14	2
4497	Let's be serious, the dog wins.	1.2167	0.04457	120	98	18	4
4498	What? Wasn't it bring your child to work day?	1.2165	0.04910	97	79	15	3
4499	It clearly states bones are not communal property.	1.2165	0.04687	97	78	17	2
4500	.....and pick it up with this paper.	1.2165	0.05528	97	82	9	6
4501	Our Non Dog Agreement.	1.2165	0.05124	97	80	13	4
4502	If you screw up, he'll fire you.	1.2165	0.05330	97	81	11	5
4503	Buddy, You must now “Play to Win,”	1.2165	0.04910	97	79	15	3
4504	Our counteroffer is that you and Rover will split custody of the tennis ball equally.	1.2165	0.04203	97	76	21	0
4505	I'm sorry sir, but due to our new Diversity Expansion Program, we've decided to go with the Dog.	1.2165	0.04452	97	77	19	1
4506	It's just a standard prenip, Mr. Sherman.	1.2162	0.05858	74	61	10	3
4507	Please sign the affidavit that you’ve been a good boy.	1.2162	0.05533	74	60	12	2
4508	With your signature,the emancipawtion will be complete.	1.2162	0.04818	74	58	16	0
4509	You should read this leash agreement carefully.	1.2162	0.05533	74	60	12	2
4510	I figured I'd have the two finalists for the job here at the same time.	1.2162	0.05188	74	59	14	1
4511	Sparky and I feel you have been a “good boy” and we would like to reward you!	1.2162	0.05188	74	59	14	1
4512	Enough playing around, this is his final offer.	1.2162	0.05858	74	61	10	3
4513	Sparky's conservatorship is now terminated.	1.2162	0.05188	74	59	14	1
4514	We think you should rethink your opinion of the “Kibbles” report	1.2159	0.05469	88	73	11	4
4515	Should you you suddenly die of the Corona, Tarzan wants to have the Riverside apartment.	1.2159	0.04968	88	71	15	2
4516	This is who you will be replacing	1.2159	0.04698	88	70	17	1
4517	You said you wanted to bring your dog to work...now he took your job.	1.2159	0.04968	88	71	15	2
4518	While I wish to discuss your termination, he wants me to cuddle you.	1.2159	0.05469	88	73	11	4
4519	I think you can tell our company is different. We are obviously not into the dog eat dog corporate mentality.	1.2159	0.05225	88	72	13	3
4520	The union representative here has received some complaints about your not stocking a proper variety of food in the vending machines.	1.2159	0.04698	88	70	17	1
4521	He wants the house. You can have the dog house.	1.2159	0.04968	88	71	15	2
4522	She feels this is the only way you'll understand separation anxiety.	1.2159	0.04968	88	71	15	2
4523	At least 3 walks a day is our final offer.	1.2159	0.05469	88	73	11	4
4524	I'm afraid brand name treats are a non-negotiable for my client	1.2159	0.04968	88	71	15	2
4525	My client insists that you sign this pre-pup-tual before he becomes your best friend.	1.2159	0.04698	88	70	17	1
4526	and my client would also like full custody of the “good seat”	1.2159	0.04968	88	71	15	2
4527	Fido can’t stomach the kibble you serve and has filed a petition for emancipation.	1.2159	0.05469	88	73	11	4
4528	My client insists on getting your slippers in the settlement.	1.2159	0.05225	88	72	13	3
4529	For this pre-pup, he will retain his bone, tennis ball & teddy bear. You will retain your left & right running shoes, all socks & the remote control. You will split custody of the fuzzy blanket and comfy couch corner.	1.2159	0.04968	88	71	15	2
4530	You should have read the fine print before signing at the shelter.	1.2159	0.05225	88	72	13	3
4531	My client is demanding off leash privileges resume immediately.	1.2159	0.05469	88	73	11	4
4532	Believe it or not, he does still qualify as a pandemic purchase..	1.2159	0.04968	88	71	15	2
4533	You now report to Rex. Fetch anything he needs.	1.2159	0.05225	88	72	13	3
4534	Yes I'm sorry it's come to this too, but twice daily walkies has always been non-negotiable to my client.	1.2157	0.04323	102	81	20	1
4535	He wants to keep the bone that he was planning to pick with you.	1.2157	0.04542	102	82	18	2
4536	Where do you see yourself in 2 or 3 dog years?	1.2157	0.04951	102	84	14	4
4537	Your brief sketch must elicit a woof.	1.2157	0.04209	102	83	17	2
4538	This suit is based on unrequited best friend.	1.2157	0.04951	102	84	14	4
4539	Is this your card?	1.2152	0.04990	79	63	15	1
4540	I'm afraid this settlement puts you in the doghouse.	1.2152	0.05603	79	65	11	3
4541	This is your prepuptual agreement	1.2152	0.05305	79	64	13	2
4542	Final offer . . . she wants $400 a month in animalony or we're going to arbitration!	1.2152	0.04990	79	63	15	1
4543	Furthermore, my client has the right to refuse confinement, restraints, and the addressing of him as“bad boy”.	1.2152	0.05885	79	66	9	4
4544	He wants to make the split amicable. He only wants the dog house and doggy door. Everything else is yours.	1.2152	0.05603	79	65	11	3
4545	Sorry we have to let you go but it's a dog eat dog business.	1.2152	0.05885	79	66	9	4
4546	This agreement stipulates that Daisy be walked twice a day, be able to sleep on your bed, and that you abandon veganism and feed her meat -- or she'll leave you.	1.2152	0.05305	79	64	13	2
4547	OK, Stanley, sign here. You're agreeing that Trixie will have full use of the corner office.	1.2152	0.05305	79	64	13	2
4548	Just a standard pre-pup for your signature	1.2152	0.04990	79	63	15	1
4549	Please write down, in 100 words or less, how you feel about a canine supervisor who refuses to get the rabies vaccination.	1.2152	0.05603	79	65	11	3
4550	I think you’ll find this amount of Snausages to be a fair compensation.	1.2152	0.05305	79	64	13	2
4551	Sir, my client will be forced to back out of this adoption if you refuse to sign the pre-pup.	1.2152	0.05305	79	64	13	2
4552	Conscious uncoupling will be expensive. You'll owe half the dog house, and 7x the annual palimony.	1.2152	0.05305	79	64	13	2
4553	This is a certificate of shagginess that documents that your shaggy dog is indeed shaggy, and these are injunctions preventing you from either claiming that he is not shaggy or accepting or validating the views from others that he is not shaggy."	1.2152	0.05885	79	66	9	4
4554	My client firmly denies your claim that she has hidden assets…under the petunias in the back yard.	1.2152	0.05305	79	64	13	2
4555	The dog gets the dog house and the fenced yard. You keep the house and the car. Sign here.	1.2152	0.05305	79	64	13	2
4556	He said you can keep the milkbones if he gets the squeaky toys.	1.2152	0.05305	79	64	13	2
4557	As additional settlement of the incident, once a week Boogers will require access to your dirty underwear.	1.2151	0.05481	93	78	10	5
4558	He is insisting on full ownership of the doghouse in exchange for your custody of the cat.” Lori Markert Bergenfield, N	1.2151	0.05036	93	76	14	3
4559	I see this often…first they steal your heart, then it’s your money	1.2151	0.04798	93	75	16	2
4560	And finally, if you will just sign here, the "best friend" provision will be negated.	1.2151	0.05036	93	76	14	3
4561	My client simply wants your acknowledgement in writing that he can squat in your home.	1.2151	0.04798	93	75	16	2
4562	Let us know if this offer is barking up the right tree.	1.2151	0.04798	93	75	16	2
4563	This is a restraining order. Stop hounding him.	1.2151	0.04798	93	75	16	2
4564	Empty documents are not valid. Your dog knows how to read!	1.2151	0.04798	93	75	16	2
4565	And Fido, your assistant, will bring you your lunch.	1.2151	0.05263	93	77	12	4
4566	He wants the right to chew your slippers once a week.	1.2151	0.05036	93	76	14	3
4567	Just answer the questions in your own barks.	1.2151	0.05036	93	76	14	3
4568	I'm sorry. Your recipe for home prepared dog food failed the taste test.	1.2151	0.04548	93	74	18	1
4569	After conferring with my client, we're prepared to agree to a plea bargain; He'll plead guilty to peeing on the carpet in exchange for still being called a 'good boy.' Have we reached a deal?	1.2151	0.05036	93	76	14	3
4570	We've augmented our Human Resources department with Canine Resources.	1.2150	0.04605	107	87	17	3
4571	Be a good boy, Mark	1.2150	0.04410	107	86	19	2
4572	My branch manager and I believe this deal has some paws-itive pet-ential.	1.2143	0.05636	84	70	10	4
4573	The restraining order's for 100 yards, and I'm afraid your leash is only 8 feet long. My client therefore seeks emancipation.	1.2143	0.05077	98	81	13	4
4574	Jackson is seeking full legal emancipation so that he may be free to explore his potential as a "good" dog with Cesar the Dog Whisperer.	1.2143	0.04812	84	67	16	1
4575	Don't you remember that keeping him well-stocked in Alpo for life was part of the pre-pup agreement?	1.2143	0.04504	84	66	18	0
4576	My client wants all the Milkbone that you stash under the counter.	1.2143	0.05101	84	68	14	2
4577	My client insists that you two remain together from 9 to 5	1.2143	0.05101	84	68	14	2
4578	If you sign now you can retain walking rights	1.2143	0.04812	84	67	16	1
4579	He insists you sign an NDA.	1.2143	0.05101	84	68	14	2
4580	Let's shake on it. I taught him that last week.	1.2143	0.05375	84	69	12	3
4581	He says he will no longer respond to ‘fetch’.	1.2143	0.04812	84	67	16	1
4582	My client wants the Lake House AND the Florida timeshare.	1.2143	0.05717	70	57	11	2
4583	Congratulations! You passed the sniff test.	1.2143	0.05375	84	69	12	3
4584	He’s willing to let you keep the house. But, just the inside portion. Oh, and your shoes. He wants your shoes.	1.2143	0.04504	84	66	18	0
4585	My client can commit to daytime-only barking, but chewing up the chairlegs is non-negotionable.	1.2143	0.05101	84	68	14	2
4586	You are hired. But I warn you, this is a dog-eat-dog job.	1.2143	0.04865	98	80	15	3
4587	. . . and this is your guide for appropriate office dress	1.2143	0.05101	84	68	14	2
4588	It’s a licensing agreement.	1.2143	0.05101	84	68	14	2
4589	You are in breach of contract. It says right here in the Dog/Owner Agreement that you will provide 4 walks per day, 3 meals, and custody of one cushion on the couch.	1.2143	0.04812	84	67	16	1
4590	My client will stay off the couch, and he also agrees to limit his barking, but his daily walks will need to increase to at least one hour, and dry pet food is no longer acceptable.	1.2143	0.05342	70	56	13	1
4591	As you can see, your dog has things to say. Now, the homework thing has to stop.	1.2143	0.04812	84	67	16	1
4592	My client would like to submit a formal complaint against the brand of dog food you serve.	1.2143	0.05375	84	69	12	3
4593	One for you - - -	1.2143	0.04166	98	77	21	0
4594	I'm afraid the no leash clause is non-negotiable.	1.2143	0.05077	98	81	13	4
4595	This is a Writ of Scoopus Poopius compelling you forthwith, as his human, to resune picking up his dodo during your compulsory walks.	1.2143	0.05636	84	70	10	4
4596	We changed the belly rubbing clause from three to two per day."	1.2143	0.04812	84	67	16	1
4597	My client will tell you the location of the car keys if you agree to a better spot on the bed.	1.2143	0.04865	98	80	15	3
4598	Our document dog followed the paper trail to you.	1.2143	0.04812	84	67	16	1
4599	It's a standard NDA. I think you'll agree none of us wants to relive the unfortunate cat-incident in the press.	1.2143	0.05636	84	70	10	4
4600	At least once a week, you take me to the dog park and court the young lady with the puddle.	1.2143	0.05375	84	69	12	3
4601	Woof is yes, Arf is no.	1.2143	0.05101	84	68	14	2
4602	As a support human, you will need to wear a bow.	1.2143	0.05101	84	68	14	2
4603	He insisted on a "roof" top office.	1.2143	0.04412	98	78	19	1
4604	It’s really quite simple: Convince Max of your competence with your answers, and the job is yours.	1.2143	0.04288	112	90	20	2
4605	Sit. Heel. Then sign here."	1.2136	0.04503	103	83	18	2
4606	Okay, it’s come down to you and the dog!	1.2136	0.04709	103	84	16	3
4607	Just need your signature on the agreement, Mr. Kennelly. You retain your 401K , and Spot keeps the house.	1.2136	0.04907	103	85	14	4
4608	Never mind the supply shortages! Get me those Milk-Bones!	1.2135	0.04918	89	72	15	2
4609	My client will waive her right to half of your financial assets if you will reconsider her request for sole ownership of all your shoes.	1.2135	0.04651	89	71	17	1
4610	Well Joe, between the two of you, I think you might do better on the projections for 2022.	1.2135	0.05171	89	73	13	3
4611	Your bow-wow has a bone to pick with you.	1.2135	0.05171	89	73	13	3
4612	I'm afraid you're in the doghouse. Literally.	1.2135	0.05171	89	73	13	3
4613	There's an offer on this piece of paper, but you'll have to divide by seven.	1.2135	0.05171	89	73	13	3
4614	It’s the cat or him	1.2135	0.04918	89	72	15	2
4615	…and you’ll pick up the poops each weekend.	1.2135	0.05171	89	73	13	3
4616	Acting is a fine profession, but I'm afraid your dog will be approved for an apartment before you.	1.2135	0.04918	89	72	15	2
4617	The paper does not bite.	1.2135	0.04651	89	71	17	1
4618	He’s suing for permanent Good Boy status.	1.2135	0.05412	89	74	11	4
4619	My client is asking for 100% custody of all the tennis balls.	1.2135	0.04651	89	71	17	1
4620	Yes, she wants a divorce. It's all here in the Dog-Gone details !	1.2135	0.05412	89	74	11	4
4621	And we’ll need you to initial this leash rider.	1.2135	0.05171	89	73	13	3
4622	Fido is demanding power of attorney.	1.2135	0.04651	89	71	17	1
4623	By signing this agreement you agree to daily walks and regular treats and my client will investigate all intruders real or imagined.	1.2135	0.05171	89	73	13	3
4624	Enough already with the sticks; come frisby or stay home!	1.2135	0.04918	89	72	15	2
4625	You also will please put the pen in your mouth to sign the divorce papers.	1.2135	0.05412	89	74	11	4
4626	Sorry Chuck. She left everything to Fifi.	1.2135	0.04512	89	73	14	2
4627	And also, here is your toilet break schedule. Now do you have any paperwork for me to look at?	1.2135	0.04918	89	72	15	2
4628	You can keep the children. She gets the chew toys.	1.2133	0.05467	75	61	12	2
4629	I guess you could say all of those ‘bad boys’ are biting you in the…	1.2133	0.05127	75	60	14	1
4630	She gets the kitchen, the couch, and the car. For you, the dog house.	1.2133	0.05787	75	62	10	3
4631	Fido’s offer is generous. As soon as you sign this paper, the dogvorce will become final.	1.2133	0.05127	75	60	14	1
4632	And unlimited access to the dire hydrant	1.2133	0.04762	75	59	16	0
4633	We just need your paw print right here.	1.2133	0.05467	75	61	12	2
4634	We need a signature from you, if you still want to apply.	1.2130	0.04567	108	88	17	3
4635	I’m sorry but we no longer advise going through with it without a pre-pup.	1.2130	0.04567	108	88	17	3
4636	Irrrrrrrreconcilable differences.	1.2130	0.04753	108	89	15	4
4637	If necessary, my client is prepared to have his day in court.	1.2130	0.04373	108	87	19	2
4638	My client's concern for your ability to fully comprehend him necessitates our being here. . .	1.2130	0.04373	108	87	19	2
4639	Our position is; no dog parks, no best friend.	1.2128	0.05212	94	78	12	4
4640	As you can see, he has compiled a list of hurtful microaggressions	1.2128	0.04505	94	75	18	1
4641	I'll take my client for a walk, and you look this over.	1.2128	0.04752	94	76	16	2
4642	Sorry it's not pink. You are discharged as his master.	1.2128	0.04752	94	76	16	2
4643	Here are my client's terms for adoption. Couch privileges in the TV room. Only FDA approved kibble. And weekly visitations with the . . . excuse the reference . . . bitch down the street.	1.2128	0.04752	94	76	16	2
4644	My associate says you have a bone to pick with him.	1.2128	0.04987	94	77	14	3
4645	Please….Britney Spears, Brittany Spaniel….potato, po-tah-to	1.2128	0.04987	94	77	14	3
4646	You're a good candidate, but each of his years of experience counts as seven.	1.2128	0.04244	94	74	20	0
4647	My client wants you to retract all allegations of homework eating...	1.2128	0.04752	94	76	16	2
4648	Everything was left to Buddy. Graciously, he has agreed to give you access to the ADU out back and one can of food per day.	1.2128	0.04505	94	75	18	1
4649	She laughed out loud at this offer.	1.2128	0.04505	94	75	18	1
4650	Sign here and Rex will leave you his collar and the entire contents of his food bowl	1.2128	0.04752	94	76	16	2
4651	We are offering a " defurred annuity	1.2125	0.05539	80	66	11	3
4652	Fido, would like a signed prenuptial before he moves in with you.	1.2125	0.04602	80	63	17	0
4653	Regrettably, at Poochies-dot-com, we only hire food tasters when Jasper here sniffs a candidate's crotch during the interview.	1.2125	0.05539	80	66	11	3
4654	Rough or rough rough? It’s your choice!	1.2125	0.05817	80	67	9	4
4655	So, then...Bailey is seeking possesion of the dog house and enough funds to stay in canned food.	1.2125	0.05245	80	65	13	2
4656	This is Daisy's list of irreconcilable differences.	1.2125	0.04934	80	67	11	2
4657	Bobo agreeds with me!	1.2125	0.05245	80	65	13	2
4658	Mr. Snickers proposes that the townhouse remain yours. In return, he is asking for the deed to the dog house, joint custody of the Frisbee, and that you continue picking his poop up in plastic bags.	1.2125	0.05539	80	66	11	3
4659	I can fart at work because I own the company. You can't.	1.2125	0.05245	80	65	13	2
4660	I see here that you did not meet your belly rub quota	1.2125	0.04934	80	64	15	1
4661	You have violated the leash agreement	1.2125	0.05539	80	66	11	3
4662	Ralph here thinks you should take this obedience test.	1.2125	0.04934	80	64	15	1
4663	When this restraining order goes into effect you will need to tie three leashes together so you can walk him.	1.2125	0.05539	80	66	11	3
4664	My client states here that you only allow him two meals a day while you indulge in three, sometimes more. He also caught you several occasions petting the neighbors’ corgis.	1.2125	0.05245	80	65	13	2
4665	You sign first.	1.2125	0.05539	80	66	11	3
4666	In return for the potty-training, you agree to three belly rub sessions each day.	1.2125	0.04934	80	64	15	1
4667	And Fluffy gets custody of your ex-wife.	1.2125	0.05817	80	67	9	4
4668	It’s just a disclosure form that says in the event of a conflict I will continue to represent him and you’ll need to seek new counsel.	1.2125	0.05245	80	65	13	2
4669	Yes,Teddy, it’s tax season again...	1.2125	0.05245	80	65	13	2
4670	My client requests a list of your qualifications making you a suitable adopter, specifically what his living conditions, menu options, walking and play date schedule would be.	1.2125	0.05539	80	66	11	3
4671	Just put your thumbprint on this and I'll have your owner sign his.	1.2125	0.05817	80	67	9	4
4672	He may lock you out unless you agree to his terms.	1.2125	0.05245	80	65	13	2
4673	She wants the backyard and all the treats.	1.2124	0.04254	113	91	20	2
4674	I'm representing the interests of Mr. Ruffus. He wants to buy the doghouse.	1.2124	0.04611	113	93	16	4
4675	Don't be alarmed. Bailey engaging me to represent him is simply prudent practice.	1.2124	0.04254	113	91	20	2
4676	You don’t have to take the first offer. He prefers a little back and forth.	1.2124	0.04436	113	92	18	3
4677	Trust me, this is a better divorce settlement that most bitches offer.	1.2121	0.05030	99	82	13	4
4678	My client intends to file for emancipation unless there are some serious changes to the walking frequency.	1.2121	0.04130	99	83	13	3
4679	In addition to sleeping on the bed and extra treats, my client would like to negotiate what his status as a "good boy".	1.2121	0.04602	99	80	17	2
4680	My client's final offer. Sit with it a while then fetch a pen and sign.	1.2121	0.04372	99	79	19	1
4681	My client is willing to admit to eating three homeworks as part of the settlement.	1.2121	0.04821	99	81	15	3
4682	Why don't we start with your preferred dog toys first?	1.2121	0.04821	99	81	15	3
4683	Bella is settling for half of the litter.	1.2121	0.05511	66	53	12	1
4684	Don't bark more than you can chew.	1.2118	0.05047	85	69	14	2
4685	And this verifies you will not pretend to throw the ball more than twice a day.	1.2118	0.04762	85	68	16	1
4686	And this acknowledges your agreement that she will have full rights to the bowl.	1.2118	0.05047	85	69	14	2
4687	This deal comes with a collar	1.2118	0.05047	85	69	14	2
4688	You must agree to these stipulations if my client is to adopt you.	1.2118	0.04612	85	70	13	2
4689	Guess his name, and you got the job.	1.2118	0.05317	85	70	12	3
4690	Your father gave you the kennel, Howie gets the bulk of the estate, but he's said you're always welcome for dinner.	1.2118	0.04762	85	68	16	1
4691	My client is skeptical of your interest in custody of the tennis balls.	1.2118	0.05317	85	70	12	3
4692	He wants the split to remain amicable, so you get half of his dead birds.	1.2118	0.05047	85	69	14	2
4693	Write in three words or less how you feel about dogs.	1.2118	0.04458	85	67	18	0
4694	This 6-month restraining order stipulates that you may not be within 200 yards of my client, unless you are wearing an approved muzzle and showing no signs of ill intent, whatsoever. Understood? Please put your pawprint right here, next to his.	1.2115	0.04668	104	85	16	3
4695	My client is suing for suffered emotional damages when you pretended to throw the stick for fetch.	1.2115	0.03906	104	84	19	1
4696	If you agree to replant anything he digs up, without complaint, he agrees to limit face licks to under 20 per session.	1.2115	0.04668	104	85	16	3
4697	It seems that you have not taken him for a walk for 3 days	1.2115	0.04464	104	84	18	2
4698	Fluffy will be seeking half of everything.	1.2115	0.05053	104	87	12	5
4699	You might find our offer rather ruff.	1.2113	0.05644	71	58	11	2
4700	He's willing to reunite once you sign papers on a country home.	1.2113	0.05990	71	59	9	3
4701	He wants you to sign an NDA!	1.2113	0.05990	71	59	9	3
4702	My client is submitting a writ of Fidus corpus	1.2113	0.05990	71	59	9	3
4703	Before he agrees to let you rescue him, he has certain demands.	1.2113	0.05990	71	59	9	3
4704	What, because I’m a dog lawyer? An arf-arf attorney? A bow-wow barrister? I can only get dog clients and I do dog law all day at my job for puppies, filing their suits and picking up their shit? What have you ever done in your sad fucking life.	1.2113	0.05644	71	58	11	2
4705	And now the matter of who will be sleeping in the dog house.	1.2113	0.05644	71	58	11	2
4706	She gets all the toys.	1.2113	0.05275	71	57	13	1
4707	Well for starters I’m not sure why you gave Fido the set with the pen	1.2113	0.05990	71	59	9	3
4708	...and this is the non-disclosure agreement for his pictures on social media.	1.2111	0.04605	90	72	17	1
4709	Unfortunately, the Woof Board of Directors has decided to let you, Mr. Johnson.	1.2111	0.04869	90	73	15	2
4710	I think he said we had a good year and your division will be rewarded with extra kibble and more frequent walks.	1.2111	0.04869	90	73	15	2
4711	If he can keep your left tennis shoe from 1998, you can have your lady friend and the apartment. Final offer.	1.2111	0.05357	90	75	11	4
4712	Don’t worry about his assignment	1.2111	0.05119	90	74	13	3
4713	If you can answer these questions you get the job. If not you get a Milk-Bone.	1.2111	0.04869	90	73	15	2
4714	This separation agreement includes daily walks and joint custody of all treats and socks. And from now on, my client is to be referred to as Great Boy.	1.2111	0.05357	90	75	11	4
4715	This is our final settlement offer: grilled steak every day and a new chew toy each week.	1.2111	0.05119	90	74	13	3
4716	so your talk will be more cute	1.2111	0.04869	90	73	15	2
4717	John, under which of the three papers may be your bonus? Choose we'll. One contains your firing...	1.2111	0.04605	90	72	17	1
4718	And should you predecease Mr. Fluffers, the payout rate is increased seven-fold.	1.2111	0.04869	90	73	15	2
4719	Three walkies a day are non-negotiable, but Rex has some flexibility on the number of treats	1.2111	0.04605	90	72	17	1
4720	Ruff wants to make sure you countersign the "Walk Three Times A Day" clause before the adoption.	1.2111	0.05119	90	74	13	3
4721	Right, this document states that Fido has full custody. Though you do get supervised visitation.	1.2111	0.05357	90	75	11	4
4722	Disregard the dog-eared pages.	1.2111	0.04605	90	72	17	1
4723	Just confirming ‘Who’s a good boy?’	1.2111	0.05585	90	76	9	5
4724	If, during the course of the relationship, you fail to say "ooh...good stretch!" when he stretches, the entire agreement becomes dissolute.	1.2105	0.04463	95	76	18	1
4725	Duke was very generous with the settlement, but he insists on keeping your wife and kids.	1.2105	0.04940	95	78	14	3
4726	This is a cease and desist order prohibiting you from ever again asking my client,"Who's a good boy?!"	1.2105	0.04574	114	94	16	4
4727	This is a list of everything she’ll need to maintain the lifestyle to which she’s become accustomed	1.2105	0.05402	76	62	12	2
4728	These pandemic pups have become dogged in their demands.	1.2105	0.04940	95	78	14	3
4729	The HR department vetted him completely. He's the real thing.	1.2105	0.05717	76	63	10	3
4730	Joint custody of the puppies is a non-starter.	1.2105	0.05717	76	63	10	3
4731	Yes, Bowser, here, is bequeathing you the dog house.	1.2105	0.06301	76	65	6	5
4732	She gets the couch. You get the easy chair.	1.2105	0.04708	95	77	16	2
4733	In a hundred words or less tell us why you are a good boy.	1.2105	0.05067	76	61	14	1
4734	I presume you are applying for the dog walker position....	1.2105	0.05402	76	62	12	2
4735	I never really thought about a pre-nup.	1.2105	0.05161	95	79	12	4
4736	Your report is a dog’s breakfast	1.2105	0.05402	76	62	12	2
4737	My recommendation is to just sign away your evenings and quit while you're ahead.	1.2105	0.05402	76	62	12	2
4738	So if you'll just sign here, my client will urinate on it, I'll witness it, and we'll be done with the whole nasty business.	1.2105	0.05067	76	61	14	1
4739	Welcome aboard. Once you’re settled Spot will begin your leash training.	1.2105	0.04463	95	76	18	1
4740	She gets to keep the house, the dog, and you get this sheet of paper.	1.2105	0.06016	76	64	8	4
4741	He wants you to read his ruff draft.	1.2105	0.04463	95	76	18	1
4742	He agrees to all vet visits in exchange for extra treats on Chewsday.	1.2105	0.05402	76	62	12	2
4743	Two of my client's demands are non-negotiable: 1.) Longer walks; and 2.) Five minute belly rubs.	1.2100	0.04560	100	81	17	2
4744	Here's Muffin's final offer. It is quite a lot of bones.	1.2100	0.04560	100	81	17	2
4745	It is nearly unanimous. Ruffy and I have agreed.	1.2100	0.04777	100	82	15	3
4746	Rex needs you to sign this NDA before he can bark	1.2100	0.04333	100	80	19	1
4747	Loyalty is a key value here	1.2100	0.04777	100	82	15	3
4748	Sign your dogs name here and she”ll become the breadwinner of the family. The filming start next Saturday and royalties will kick in after she’s 18.	1.2099	0.05187	81	66	13	2
4749	By signing this agreement Mr. Jones, Rusty here, will have equal rights to his side of the bed, along with an on-time meal schedule.	1.2099	0.05187	81	66	13	2
4750	Thirty minutes of "ball" a day. Take it or leave it.	1.2099	0.05476	81	67	11	3
4751	List three reasons why we're not hiring you	1.2099	0.05476	81	67	11	3
4752	Try to remember. This contract is not prenuptial, its prePUPtial.	1.2099	0.05476	81	67	11	3
4753	Sign this cease and desist, no more stepping and fetching!	1.2099	0.05187	81	66	13	2
4754	It's a fair settlement. You keep the camper and surfboard. My client gets the dog toys and all proceeds from your grandmother's trust to maintain his lifestyle.	1.2099	0.04880	81	65	15	1
4755	She insists on getting not only the bowls, but also the leashes, collars, and a year's supply of treats. Non-negotiable.	1.2099	0.05751	81	68	9	4
4756	No, not half of your pairs of shoes - the left shoe of each of your pairs. Look, I did advise you to sign a prenup.	1.2099	0.05476	81	67	11	3
4757	This was not an easy decision for Rover but the missed walks, skimpy treats, and failure to schedule fun times does not bode well for a future together. I'm sorry.	1.2099	0.04880	81	65	15	1
4758	And now it’s your turn to sign the separation agreement.	1.2099	0.04553	81	64	17	0
4759	Fido requests shared custody of your daughter and her tennis ball.	1.2099	0.05187	81	66	13	2
4760	There just can’t be a paucity of dog walks here in Pau City, he’s filing for a separation.	1.2099	0.04553	81	64	17	0
4761	Please initial next to the tiny paw print.	1.2099	0.04553	81	64	17	0
4762	Settle!	1.2099	0.04880	81	65	15	1
4763	In this section of the test, you are to look at each ink blot for up to 25 seconds and describe what you see. Fido here will guard against any untoward canine remarks.	1.2099	0.05187	81	66	13	2
4764	Think you can improve on his version of “My Life As A Dog?”	1.2099	0.05476	81	67	11	3
4765	You commit to imposing baths on my client no more frequently than once a month. She, in return, concedes that chewing your slippers is an unacceptable indulgence ... and has already appended her paw print.	1.2099	0.05476	81	67	11	3
4766	Domesticated, Mr. Jones. That is a badge of honor. Can we say the same of you?	1.2099	0.05187	81	66	13	2
4767	Consider yourself lucky that he's man's best friend.	1.2099	0.04880	81	65	15	1
4768	She wants the recliner and King sized bed but is willing to leave you the sofa and the truck.	1.2097	0.06143	62	51	9	2
4769	We feel this is a very fair offer-we keep the house, you get the doghouse.	1.2095	0.05008	105	88	12	5
4770	You'll find our firm's pedigree quite impressive.	1.2093	0.04712	86	69	16	1
4771	You'll find Paragraph Six gives you quite a juicy bone.	1.2093	0.05515	86	72	10	4
4772	The dog house is now yours.	1.2093	0.05515	86	72	10	4
4773	Last question of your interview: Would you have problems taking orders from your supervisor, Fido, hear?	1.2093	0.04994	86	70	14	2
4774	Bark once if you agree to all of Fido's stipulations; bark twice otherwise.	1.2093	0.05261	86	71	12	3
4775	Rascal will bequeath to you all of his worldly belongings if you will write 100 times, "I will not smack the dog with the newspaper".	1.2093	0.04412	86	68	18	0
4776	Here's your pre-nup.	1.2093	0.05261	86	71	12	3
4777	My client is asking for custody of the puppies and 100% of the bones buried in the yard.	1.2093	0.04855	86	72	11	3
4778	...and he demands a full reimbursement of the stud fee.	1.2093	0.05261	86	71	12	3
4779	Looks like my client is willing to equitably settle for $500 per month to cover food, a dog walker who will clean up after him, grooming, petting, and unanticipated vet bills, but he is not willing to budge on retaining the house.	1.2093	0.05261	86	71	12	3
4780	A dog-sues-man story is very newsworthy, to help put our settlement in perspective.	1.2093	0.04712	86	69	16	1
4781	Explain how you promised my client 'twenty bones,' yet all he received was a green scrap of paper.	1.2093	0.05261	86	71	12	3
4782	The depawtment would like to have a word	1.2093	0.04994	86	70	14	2
4783	And your late father leaves your 49% of the company.	1.2093	0.05758	86	73	8	5
4784	She wants you to sign a pre-pup agreeing that she gets the doghouse if you’re ever caught petting another dog.	1.2093	0.04994	86	70	14	2
4785	According to our agreement you were required to leave the house for work, go on daily walks and say "that's good boy" at least 20 times a day. And since Covid, well...	1.2093	0.05515	86	72	10	4
4786	I think you will see this is a very fur offer.	1.2093	0.04412	86	68	18	0
4787	Look we are still in a pandemic; Spot has hired our law firm to represent him.	1.2093	0.04712	86	69	16	1
4788	He feels that your Instagram photos are insufficiently adorable.	1.2093	0.04994	86	70	14	2
4789	Once you sign on you're stuck with him	1.2093	0.04712	86	69	16	1
4790	My client wants the couch and your socks in the separation.	1.2093	0.04412	86	68	18	0
4791	In order to be your guide, you’ll first need to sign this release.	1.2093	0.05261	86	71	12	3
4792	Now, the dog is the victim and he says you refused to give him his food so he could go on a “diet”.	1.2091	0.04302	110	89	19	2
4793	Well, we don't want you embarking on something that doesn't fit	1.2091	0.04104	110	88	21	1
4794	My client is willing to share joint custody of your shoes.	1.2090	0.05839	67	55	10	2
4795	Your attaboy metrics were down again this quarter.	1.2090	0.06214	67	56	8	3
4796	Paper training is an art, not a science.	1.2090	0.06214	67	56	8	3
4797	Pretty standard prenup – Spot gets half if you separate.”	1.2088	0.04560	91	73	17	1
4798	It came down to his only asking for two days vacation.	1.2088	0.04821	91	74	15	2
4799	Most of what we do is based on instinct anyway. Good luck.	1.2088	0.05303	91	76	11	4
4800	You pay a case of Alpo and two bones per month, and he gets custody of all chewtoys.	1.2088	0.05068	91	75	13	3
4801	OK. She gets the saliva covered tennis ball and you get back the whole bed.	1.2088	0.05068	91	75	13	3
4802	He's says "bark." You say "woof." Need I say more?	1.2088	0.05303	91	76	11	4
4803	You have one month to vacate the house.	1.2088	0.04821	91	74	15	2
4804	Don’t worry,the test results are held in the strictest confidence.	1.2088	0.04560	91	73	17	1
4805	He wants you to sit and stay.	1.2088	0.04821	91	74	15	2
4806	Don't worry. There is no issue as to who gets the cat.	1.2083	0.05573	72	59	11	2
4807	On the other side of this petition, Cecil lists five (5) things he wants you to fetch.	1.2083	0.05913	72	60	9	3
4808	You agreed to arbitration when you adopted my client	1.2083	0.05573	72	59	11	2
4809	My client's wish to change his name from Fluffy to Mr. Munch requires your signature on pages 2 and 3.	1.2083	0.05913	72	60	9	3
4810	The will is clear: Mr Rumplestiltskins inherits all financial assets. However, your father did leave you something: a small donation made in your name to Mr Rumplestiltskins favorite charity.	1.2083	0.05913	72	60	9	3
4811	Just write down your job qualifications and help President Woofington here make his selection.	1.2083	0.05573	72	59	11	2
4812	I know it does seem strange that you're being replaced by a schnauzer but, after all, the country has gone to the dogs.	1.2083	0.05573	72	59	11	2
4813	Sorry, but my client is not signing any pre-cuddles.	1.2083	0.04893	96	79	14	3
4814	Here’s your copy of the will.	1.2083	0.05210	72	58	13	1
4815	Sorry, we've hired him. Here's your resume back.	1.2083	0.05112	96	80	12	4
4816	My client has a bone of contention with you.” Carol Shain Jupiter, Florida Carol_shain@msn.co	1.2083	0.04663	96	78	16	2
4817	What cat?	1.2083	0.05913	72	60	9	3
4818	He agrees to leave you the duvet and your slippers, in exchange for the newspaper, his favorite throw pillow, and a few bones a month of his choosing.	1.2083	0.05210	72	58	13	1
4819	You will have to submit to a DNA test, my client needs to know you are a purebred before he will submit to the adoption.	1.2083	0.05210	72	58	13	1
4820	My client is offering unconditional love under the following conditions.	1.2083	0.05573	72	59	11	2
4821	And no more kibbles.	1.2083	0.04820	72	57	15	0
4822	Ruff here will be your emotional support dog for your first six months with us.	1.2079	0.05135	101	85	11	5
4823	In a conference room, no one knows you're a dog.	1.2079	0.04734	101	83	15	3
4824	She’s looking for joint ownership of the backyard, and alimony enough to keep her in Alpo for life.	1.2079	0.04295	101	81	19	1
4825	His demands for the divorce...	1.2079	0.04058	101	80	21	0
4826	We're willing to compromise on late-night walks but not on kibble.	1.2078	0.04654	77	61	16	0
4827	Your turn on the paper.	1.2078	0.04654	77	61	16	0
4828	In addition to providing unlimited treats, three walks a day and one continuous hour of scratching behind her ears every evening, you must agree to stop calling Maizie your ‘little bitch.’	1.2078	0.05338	77	63	12	2
4829	Fortunately for you, this multi-million dollar trust is based on dog-years.	1.2078	0.04654	77	61	16	0
4830	I predicted this dissolution would happen if he didn’t stop drinking from toilet.”	1.2078	0.05649	77	64	10	3
4831	Your signature means that you pledge to no longer eat out of her bowl, and she pledges to not sue you for past deeds	1.2078	0.04654	77	61	16	0
4832	Best friends have needs too.	1.2078	0.05338	77	63	12	2
4833	My client here would like to offer you half of his chew toys in exchange for weekend trips to the park	1.2078	0.04654	77	61	16	0
4834	Her prepup demands include three walks a day, no cat, and no rabies vaccine mandate.	1.2078	0.05338	77	63	12	2
4835	I’m sorry, but she gets the doghouse	1.2078	0.05338	77	63	12	2
4836	She wants the house and I’m not talking dog.	1.2078	0.05338	77	63	12	2
4837	The only outstanding issue is, 'Who gets your wife'.	1.2078	0.05338	77	63	12	2
4838	By signing this Employee Contract, you agree never to say, ‘sit,’ ‘lie down,’ or stay’ to the company dog.	1.2078	0.05338	77	63	12	2
4839	My client has evidence you were petting other dogs at the park."	1.2078	0.05649	77	64	10	3
4840	And here you promise to stay at home and continue on these two beautiful years of closeness	1.2078	0.04654	77	61	16	0
4841	Those only come into play if you are not a good boy.	1.2078	0.05008	77	62	14	1
4842	He's leaving you his vaccination card and papers.	1.2078	0.05338	77	63	12	2
4843	She wants more than just the dog house.	1.2073	0.05129	82	67	13	2
4844	Final offer, Sparky keeps the house and cat and you rehome.	1.2073	0.04827	82	66	15	1
4845	Luna wants to reiterate that she waited until after the cat’s death before filing this divorce petition.	1.2073	0.04827	82	66	15	1
4846	Your job will be to wear a cat costume and let him chase you.	1.2073	0.05129	82	67	13	2
4847	It’s non-negotiable. He wants the biscuits.	1.2073	0.05129	82	67	13	2
4848	Jake is requesting his food and water bowl be replenished daily, as well as unfettered access to the backyard. He'd like to know what you expect of him.	1.2073	0.04827	82	66	15	1
4849	The stipulation is you may have the couch, but cannot sit on it.	1.2073	0.05129	82	67	13	2
4850	So we’re agreed. You go back to the office four days a week. And once every two weeks, while you’re out, he poops on the carpet.	1.2073	0.05945	82	70	7	5
4851	My client will not accept below 75% of the sale of the home in Cuba. He has been a good boy, after all.	1.2073	0.04827	82	66	15	1
4852	Just sign here and remember what happens when you say 'treat' but don't mean it.	1.2073	0.05129	82	67	13	2
4853	Are you willing to play ball?	1.2073	0.04827	82	66	15	1
4854	As with all pre-cups,we insist on you signing every clause,including the ones around the belly-rubs and ear-scratches.	1.2073	0.05415	82	68	11	3
4855	Do I understand correctly that you're not contesting the separation?	1.2073	0.05415	82	68	11	3
4856	Well, Mr. Ives, you’re a shoo-in, unless, Mr. Barker, our Human Resources manager, has some reservations.	1.2073	0.04827	82	66	15	1
4857	As grounds for emancipation, my client cites: lack of belly rubs, monotonously dry kibble, and your distracted phone use while on walks.	1.2073	0.04504	82	65	17	0
4858	You’ll be competing with Scruffy here, for the position of morale officer	1.2073	0.05129	82	67	13	2
4859	My client says that if you had allowed her to share your bed, this trial separation wouldn't have to happen now.	1.2073	0.05129	82	67	13	2
4860	Do you like my dog? Do you take care for him?	1.2073	0.05415	82	68	11	3
4861	As usual in these cases, my client insists on receiving a deed for the whole back yard.	1.2073	0.05686	82	69	9	4
4862	Just a formality, we’ve already scanned the chips in both of you.	1.2072	0.04455	111	91	17	3
4863	She wants to clone you. Apparently, when you adopted her you promised daily walks and weekend drives through the countryside. And, well..she feels that your clone will help you keep your promises.	1.2069	0.04942	87	71	14	2
4864	Chairman Fido gave you a shockingly good raise!	1.2069	0.05206	87	72	12	3
4865	You can have weekly visitation rights to the puppies.	1.2069	0.05206	87	72	12	3
4866	How does 30 bones a month sound to you?	1.2069	0.04942	87	71	14	2
4867	What questions or commands do you have for us?	1.2069	0.04942	87	71	14	2
4868	Sign here and be ready at Fido's tomorrow morning. He will be wearing his navy collar. Nice doing business with you.	1.2069	0.04942	87	71	14	2
4869	Human Resources" still protects all kinds of employees from a co-worker's ruff language	1.2069	0.04942	87	71	14	2
4870	Since he got the mansion,Spot would like you to have the deed to his doghouse.	1.2069	0.04942	87	71	14	2
4871	And this says you leave all your bones to Boo here.	1.2069	0.04942	87	71	14	2
4872	Signing this affidavit will confirm your admission that Fluffy is indeed a "Very Good Boy"	1.2069	0.05206	87	72	12	3
4873	He's, my dog. I'm Top dog.	1.2069	0.05456	87	73	10	4
4874	Given your recent diagnosis, Mr. Baxter is formally requesting a bequeathment of your bones.	1.2069	0.04942	87	71	14	2
4875	To finalize the adoption, sign here to accept responsibility for your dog's activity on social media.	1.2069	0.04942	87	71	14	2
4876	We regret to inform you that Rollo is not eligible for on premises child care.	1.2069	0.04664	87	70	16	1
4877	You’ll be hereby bound to five walks a day, four fetches, three belly rubs, two meals and cuddles on demand.	1.2069	0.04942	87	71	14	2
4878	Now, before you affix your signature and pawprint in front of our notary-public, I want to make sure that both of you understand the terms of this Human-Canine Pre-Companionship Agreement.	1.2069	0.04664	87	70	16	1
4879	Your resume looks good, but I have to consult with my partner.	1.2069	0.04942	87	71	14	2
4880	Sorry, we ran out of pink paper.	1.2069	0.05206	87	72	12	3
4881	Please sign here.You agree to walk him twice daily, pet much and feed well. He promises to wag his tail a lot, learn tricks that impress relatives & do his best to hold his business for the walks. Are we good?	1.2069	0.04942	87	71	14	2
4882	If the judge approves, your property will be divided equally - except for the bones.	1.2069	0.04942	87	71	14	2
4883	This is the set we show to the IRS. This is the set we lock up.	1.2069	0.05206	87	72	12	3
4884	To you, it was a "Man Bites Dog" story. To my client, though, it was a tort action.	1.2069	0.05206	87	72	12	3
4885	We are asking all of our recruits to make a list all of canines you know, as references.	1.2069	0.05456	87	73	10	4
4886	You can have everything but your best friend	1.2069	0.04664	87	70	16	1
4887	Here's a list of his demands.	1.2065	0.05017	92	76	13	3
4888	Here are your adoption papers for you to go home with Rover.	1.2065	0.04516	92	74	17	1
4889	She just wants the refrigerator.	1.2065	0.05017	92	76	13	3
4890	Just don't make any sudden moves and I'm sure he'll approve you.	1.2065	0.04773	92	75	15	2
4891	He said he convinced your wife to let you have the cat.	1.2065	0.05473	92	78	9	5
4892	Sorry, Bob. The general dogsbody role has already been filled.	1.2065	0.05017	92	76	13	3
4893	Sign here that "obey" will no longer be part of your habitation agreement. Only love, honor and cherish	1.2065	0.04516	92	74	17	1
4894	Jjjjjjhhhgggg d d dddddd g gffffffddddd ffdddgghuh fdghhygggfff ddghffgfdhdbdhbd dhhhhhdhebd. Hdhjdbdbnd. Thanks buddy I just got off the it with the gas buddy I got the gas station and iwu got it and I got it done	1.2065	0.05687	92	79	7	6
4895	Bark , barkbark bark. Bark.	1.2065	0.05250	92	77	11	4
4896	You know the terms. Morning walkies or poop on the rug.	1.2065	0.04516	92	74	17	1
4897	Of course he is the CEO, this is a dog food company	1.2065	0.05250	92	77	11	4
4898	He requests that you don't dog ear the pages...	1.2065	0.04773	92	75	15	2
4899	Please note that the job description includes walking my dog and cleaning up after him.	1.2065	0.05250	92	77	11	4
4900	Unfortunately, the rabies vaccination doesn't count.	1.2065	0.04516	92	74	17	1
4901	Yes, the `give a dog a bone' days are over.	1.2065	0.04516	92	74	17	1
4902	Isn't this great! We're breaking the entire history of marriage law only addressing human to human bonds of love.	1.2065	0.05017	92	76	13	3
4903	He's filing for custody of the one who rubs his tummy.	1.2065	0.04516	92	74	17	1
4904	This is the best doggone deal my client can offer.	1.2065	0.05017	92	76	13	3
4905	He will stop chewing your shoes when you provide him with Spring Bottled water.	1.2063	0.05616	63	51	11	1
4906	Now, before negotiating the Trash Can Inspection Bylaws, you must meticulously sniff Fido’s anus.	1.2063	0.05139	63	50	13	0
4907	Since the 'Bark' Mitzvah was a complete disaster, the client is filling for emancipation.	1.2062	0.04620	97	79	16	2
4908	Dave, I’m not supposed to give free legal advice but you have to stop trying to sue my dog. He has no assets, he owns no property, he cannot speak to defend himself in court. I’m starting to think you’re just an asshole. My wife was right about you.	1.2062	0.04620	97	79	16	2
4909	Don’t bother showing him where the bathroom is.	1.2062	0.05271	97	82	10	5
4910	So you get the house, the car , all of the assets and he gets the kibble.	1.2062	0.04381	97	78	18	1
4911	...one dedicated slipper, open windows on all car trips, and unlimited access to the toilet bowl...	1.2062	0.04847	97	80	14	3
4912	Section 26a states: Nick-knack paddywhack….	1.2062	0.05064	97	81	12	4
4913	My client wants the chew toys. You can keep the cat.	1.2062	0.04847	97	80	14	3
4914	My client will smell around your balls and anus and that’s his final offer.	1.2062	0.04620	97	79	16	2
4915	Despite the provisions in the prepup, Mr Woof has gracefully agreed to let you keep the washing machine.	1.2062	0.04257	97	80	15	2
4916	My client insists that YOU get the dog house.	1.2062	0.04847	97	80	14	3
4917	You can keep the wife, but he gets sole custody of the cat!	1.2059	0.04258	102	82	19	1
4918	After you sign, he’s no longer your best friend. All petting must cease immediately.	1.2059	0.04480	102	83	17	2
4919	My client insists on this pre-ad, or pre-adoption, contract. You must commit to three walks—I’m sorry, “walkies,”—and a minimum of half an hour of tummy scratches per day.	1.2059	0.04692	102	84	15	3
4920	Muffy is willing to sign the agreement if you agree to call him a “good boy” at least 6 times each day.	1.2059	0.04692	102	84	15	3
4921	My client says he is willing to give you the wife and the house, but he wants full custody of the kids and the bones.	1.2059	0.04692	102	84	15	3
4922	It wants sole custody of the leash.	1.2059	0.06130	68	57	8	3
4923	So, a life supply of Bonio, the Tiffany collar, and we’ve got a deal.	1.2056	0.04144	107	86	20	1
4924	I'm sure you can understand my client's need to be named on the lease. It's a rent-control thing.	1.2056	0.04922	107	90	12	5
4925	$550k. All cash. As-is. We have six back-up offers.	1.2055	0.05839	73	61	9	3
4926	My client demands custody of your remaining tennis shoe.	1.2055	0.05503	73	60	11	2
4927	I don't understand. Fido brought his own pen to the interview. Why couldn't you?	1.2055	0.05503	73	60	11	2
4928	My client is simply requesting that you close your bedroom door while crysturbating.	1.2055	0.05146	73	59	13	1
4929	why can’t he sign these documents with his paw?	1.2055	0.05146	73	59	13	1
4930	Yes, it's sad, but your former best friend here is paying all the legal fees.	1.2055	0.05146	73	59	13	1
4931	We’re done, my client no longer wants to pick a bone with you.	1.2055	0.05503	73	60	11	2
4932	If it's agreeable to you, you get to keep the house and he get's to keep the back yard	1.2055	0.05146	73	59	13	1
4933	Go ahead. My dog is my CO- CEO.	1.2055	0.04762	73	58	15	0
4934	He says you can keep his old house.	1.2055	0.05146	73	59	13	1
4935	OK this is for your inheritance from your wealthy aunt and you chose document 1. I revealed that document 2 is one of two doodling sketches. Do you want to change your selection	1.2051	0.03941	117	97	18	2
4936	Now explain what makes YOU a good boy	1.2051	0.04950	78	63	14	1
4937	Mr. Bowser's offer is non-negotiable. All walks are to be at his pace and direction and you will be limited to only two work-from-home days.	1.2051	0.05276	78	64	12	2
4938	Write your password down. He is your replacement.	1.2051	0.05873	78	66	8	4
4939	In cases with no children, the annulment is simplified.	1.2051	0.05276	78	64	12	2
4940	These are his terms. Take it or leave it!	1.2051	0.05583	78	65	10	3
4941	keep your eye on the top sheet	1.2051	0.05276	78	64	12	2
4942	For best friend status to continue all cats and their paraphernalia need to be permanently removed from the household.	1.2051	0.04602	78	62	16	0
4943	Mr. Wiggles is offering an 8% pay increase in return for fifteen minutes additional ball-fetching and thirty minutes additional walkies.	1.2051	0.05276	78	64	12	2
4944	How do you feel about daily walkies?	1.2051	0.04950	78	63	14	1
4945	And my client insists on retaining all rights to the remaining Beggin' Strips.	1.2051	0.04950	78	63	14	1
4946	Please sign next to the paw print!	1.2051	0.05583	78	65	10	3
4947	We like to put on the dog, as they say. It keeps up appearances.	1.2051	0.04602	78	62	16	0
4948	My client is requesting 5,000 Milk-Bones in emotional damages.	1.2051	0.05276	78	64	12	2
4949	You're in the dog house.	1.2051	0.05276	78	64	12	2
4950	This is your last chance: bark or forever hold your peace.	1.2051	0.04602	78	62	16	0
4951	Let's see who the 'bitch' is now! Hahahahahaha. It's you!! Hahahahahahaha. YOU"RE A BITCH!!!!!! HSHSHSHSHAHAHAHAH bitch ! BITch! hahahahah! like a femal dog!!!!!! bitch!!!!!!	1.2051	0.04950	78	63	14	1
4952	It's the carrot or the stick. Just ask my friend Muttly here.	1.2051	0.04950	78	63	14	1
4953	The complaint alleges that you did not provide Fluffy with treat-and-a-half pay.	1.2048	0.04775	83	67	15	1
4954	Forget the knick-knacks, Paddywhack. We want you to give the dog a bone.”	1.2048	0.05073	83	68	13	2
4955	...and this portion of the contract states you won't teach him any new tricks.	1.2048	0.05073	83	68	13	2
4956	My client wants visitation rights with the children five days a week, unlimited access to the yard, and a large box of biscuits each month.	1.2048	0.05355	83	69	11	3
4957	I have written our offer in lemon juice. It becomes visible when you heat the paper. But don't hold the match too close.	1.2048	0.04775	83	67	15	1
4958	Due to inflation, just one treat is no longer acceptable to my client	1.2048	0.05073	83	68	13	2
4959	...and if you should decide to part ways, she gets the doghouse, the chew toys, and a lifetime supply of kibble.	1.2048	0.05623	83	70	9	4
4960	Your case is a dog, but my partner will take it.	1.2048	0.04775	83	67	15	1
4961	Fluffy has agreed to give you partial share of the home.	1.2048	0.04289	83	68	14	1
4962	My client wants half of all treats, the beach house, and joint custody of the kids.	1.2048	0.05073	83	68	13	2
4963	He loves you, but he’s done with the dog park and wants creative control of the Instagram account. Deal?	1.2048	0.05073	83	68	13	2
4964	The dog house market really is set to take off.	1.2048	0.05355	83	69	11	3
4965	this is the custody agreement.....you get the puppies every other weekend for a year.	1.2048	0.05623	83	70	9	4
4966	My client says, ‘these are your papers, and they should go on the tiled floor in the kitchen.’	1.2048	0.05073	83	68	13	2
4967	Furthermore, he wants you to stop referring to him as 'Boy'.	1.2048	0.05878	83	71	7	5
4968	We’re asking for the Malibu dog house, the fine bone china, and 50% alimony payable in string cheese.	1.2048	0.04775	83	67	15	1
4969	All he wants are the bones buried in the backyard.	1.2048	0.04457	83	66	17	0
4970	Per your aunt’s will, consider it a puppy prenup.	1.2048	0.05623	83	70	9	4
4971	It's covered in the pre-puptial agreement.	1.2045	0.04325	88	70	18	0
4972	If you accept this dog bite settlement, the amount and contents must remain confidential.	1.2045	0.04325	88	70	18	0
4973	She's agreed to let you keep the dog house.	1.2045	0.05636	88	75	8	5
4974	Rolf here says that these items are non-negotiable. ROLF!	1.2045	0.04891	88	72	14	2
4975	Your terms seem too ruff for my client	1.2045	0.04891	88	72	14	2
4976	My client Mr. Fluffy is requesting extra treats a boops for being a good boy.	1.2045	0.05152	88	73	12	3
4977	He says,if you if you	1.2045	0.04617	88	71	16	1
4978	I think you’ll find it’s a fairly standard prepup.	1.2045	0.04891	88	72	14	2
4979	We prefer to call it prepuptual	1.2045	0.04617	88	71	16	1
4980	In return, you'll agree to be his best friend too.	1.2045	0.04325	88	70	18	0
4981	We’ve agreed to let you have full custody of the cats.	1.2045	0.04891	88	72	14	2
4982	You can have the house; he only wants the baby.	1.2045	0.04891	88	72	14	2
4983	Agree to these terms and your client walks	1.2045	0.04891	88	72	14	2
4984	My client agrees to being adopted by you if you sign this prenup first.	1.2045	0.04617	88	71	16	1
4985	My assistant here has modified the contract as you requested.	1.2045	0.05152	88	73	12	3
4986	My client needs time to reconsider this unsolicited adoption	1.2045	0.04891	88	72	14	2
4987	My client would like custody of the squeaky balls. And you would have visitation rights on weekends to play fetch.	1.2045	0.04891	88	72	14	2
4988	He's here to fetch the Alpo account.	1.2045	0.04617	88	71	16	1
4989	My client's prenup explicitly states three walks a day for life.	1.2045	0.04891	88	72	14	2
4990	I'll touch the papers, then you do it. He'll sniff them, pretend like he's reading, then we can move on from all this nastiness.	1.2045	0.05152	88	73	12	3
4991	He’s petitioning to have you sign a quit-claim deed for the dog house.	1.2043	0.04968	93	77	13	3
4992	Biscuit here will be your boss for the internship.	1.2043	0.04968	93	77	13	3
4993	He hounds me to work harder	1.2043	0.04473	93	75	17	1
4994	It’s a late change … my client now requires you to sign this pre-pup agreement.	1.2043	0.04473	93	75	17	1
4995	Now sign this affidavit that states that you will play fetch with my client at least two hours a day and allow him to sleep on your bed at any time?	1.2043	0.04204	93	76	16	1
4996	Sometimes your right hand doesn't know what your left hand is doing	1.2043	0.04204	93	74	19	0
4997	I 'm sorry. I can't advise on whether to accept these terms. I represent Buddy.	1.2043	0.04473	93	75	17	1
4998	His none-negotiable pre-pup.	1.2043	0.05198	93	78	11	4
4999	My client claims your over aggressive and wants to put you down.	1.2043	0.05198	93	78	11	4
5000	Yes, that's correct, Fred. It is taken for granted that he's your best friend; however, he now wants it in writing.	1.2043	0.04473	93	75	17	1
5001	Sir. Just to clarify, FIDO in this document stands for Financially Independent Dog Owner	1.2043	0.05418	93	79	9	5
5002	This is my clients service contract.	1.2043	0.04727	93	76	15	2
5003	His first stipulation is that there will be no riders.	1.2043	0.04727	93	76	15	2
5004	And this one is for tracking Chairman's eliminations: consistency, shape, firmness, and color. We dig data.	1.2043	0.04473	93	75	17	1
5005	He wants you to know it isn’t personal.	1.2043	0.05198	93	78	11	4
5006	The dog´s owner is suing you for invading his personal space	1.2043	0.04204	93	74	19	0
5007	We translated the profer from standard "woof" and "bark".	1.2043	0.04968	93	77	13	3
5008	He says he'll give up rides in the car, but he wants custody of the wife.	1.2041	0.04577	98	80	16	2
5009	I'm afraid a paw shake isn't sufficient for my client.	1.2041	0.04802	98	81	14	3
5010	This agreement also entitles Ruffles to 50% of all future kibbles you may earn, though he relinquishes his claim on flea collars.	1.2041	0.05419	98	84	8	6
5011	You can share the bed with Fido as long as you address your snoring	1.2041	0.04802	98	81	14	3
5012	He would like to close escrow on the dog house as soon as possible.	1.2041	0.04577	98	80	16	2
5013	'Under terms of the adoption agreement, which you apparently did not read before you signed, he gets the master suite and you get the cramped, hot, damp hovel in the yard and. But, if you're a goo-boy he'll tell you where the bones are buried.'	1.2039	0.04851	103	86	13	4
5014	He’s prepared to spend two weekends a month with you but only if his fluffy pet bed comes with him.	1.2039	0.04441	103	84	17	2
5015	Sign next to the paw print.	1.2037	0.04880	108	91	12	5
5016	I represent my client Fluffers.	1.2037	0.04880	108	91	12	5
5017	My client understands the new Omicron lockdown but long walks and fetch are non-negotiable.	1.2035	0.04894	113	96	11	6
5018	He wants the house, the car and your antique collection of milk bones.	1.2035	0.04730	113	95	13	5
5019	Mr. Wuffles contends the procedure performed by Dr. Metcalfe, DVM, failed and he waives any responsibility for siring your client's litter.	1.2034	0.05285	59	47	12	0
5020	Your aunt has bequeathed you the dog house and Mr. Snuggles inherits the $2.6m estate.”	1.2031	0.06370	64	54	7	3
5021	Ruff is hesitant of the loyalty clause.	1.2029	0.05296	69	56	12	1
5022	Executive service dog, ton of perks.	1.2029	0.04877	69	55	14	0
5023	Mr. Jones...now you're in the doghouse!	1.2029	0.05296	69	56	12	1
5024	Her “ service” fee; final offer.	1.2029	0.05684	69	57	10	2
5025	Here' s the contract for the dog fence.	1.2029	0.05296	69	56	12	1
5026	He would like to keep your leg.	1.2029	0.06047	69	58	8	3
5027	My client will consent to have you as his human in exchange for two daily walks, organic food, and half the bed.	1.2027	0.05435	74	61	11	2
5028	We especially prize commitment to our company ethos combined with stick throwing skills."	1.2027	0.05435	74	61	11	2
5029	No pressure, but he can smell when you overexaggerate your work experience	1.2027	0.05766	74	62	9	3
5030	I'm afraid you don't have the kind of training we're looking for.	1.2027	0.05766	74	62	9	3
5031	She just wants you to know that it's not about you; it's just time to go in a different direction. Woof.	1.2027	0.05435	74	61	11	2
5032	My client is requesting daily belly rubs in perpetuity.	1.2027	0.05435	74	61	11	2
5033	So that is three walks a day and an extra treat if my client is a "Good Boy."	1.2025	0.05215	79	65	12	2
5034	Jeremy is looking to maintain the lifestyle he enjoyed when you worked from home during covid. Three walks a day and four belly rubs. Think of it as a post-pup agreement.	1.2025	0.05215	79	65	12	2
5035	Don't let the pronouns confuse you. Your dog's in charge.	1.2025	0.04894	79	64	14	1
5036	He wants approval of any future love interests.	1.2025	0.05518	79	66	10	3
5037	So, you admit you gave him a name you found amusing, and you've never paid him...	1.2025	0.04894	79	64	14	1
5038	Mr. Wigglebutt” is claiming for emotional damages	1.2025	0.05518	79	66	10	3
5039	The best we can offer is a stick and tennis ball."	1.2025	0.04894	79	64	14	1
5040	As part of the settlement my client would also like his testicles to be returned	1.2025	0.05215	79	65	12	2
5041	Here is your severance letter, but you can't keep it. It is being recycled for use with our next employee, patiently waiting behind door number # 3	1.2025	0.05215	79	65	12	2
5042	My client is requesting four, not three, walks a day and no more of those crunchy treats, she has sensitive teeth.	1.2025	0.04550	79	63	16	0
5043	Your new boss here Rex gets anxiety attacks when he sees any newspaper, so be sure to place only regular bond paper on the floor when he's ready to do his business.	1.2025	0.05215	79	65	12	2
5044	If you are to continue walking my client,here is a list of his requirements!	1.2025	0.04550	79	63	16	0
5045	It's kind of you to cosign this mortgage. The housing market is pretty ruff these days.	1.2025	0.04894	79	64	14	1
5046	‘“Sign this non-disclosure agreement and all so-called ‘accidents’ must remain strictly confidential.”	1.2025	0.04894	79	64	14	1
5047	Now it's time to play: "Are You Smarter Than Your Dog?"	1.2025	0.05215	79	65	12	2
5048	My client is prepared to bring against you three counts of unknowingly putting flea medicine into peanut butter. It would be wise for you to settle things here before they get ugly.	1.2025	0.05518	79	66	10	3
5049	I'm afraid your differences are irreconcilable.	1.2025	0.05518	79	66	10	3
5050	Mr. Sparky feels you have abused your right to publish photos of his likeness, sometimes even publishing photos of his most private moments, and would therefore like you to relinquish all rights to his Social Media accounts.	1.2025	0.05215	79	65	12	2
5051	Yeah, but he has way more experience if you count in dog years…	1.2024	0.05297	84	70	11	3
5052	Don’t rollover on his side of the bed.	1.2024	0.05019	84	69	13	2
5053	If you don't sign this contract, the dog will take you for a walk off a short pier.	1.2024	0.05019	84	69	13	2
5054	This is the NDA regarding our dog-eat-dog environment.	1.2024	0.05019	84	69	13	2
5055	Yes, your dog is asking to be "liberated" as they have turned 18 in canine years, unless you are willing to provide a canine companion for them.	1.2024	0.05019	84	69	13	2
5056	This is the consent leaving Fido your house and half of your stock portfolio.	1.2024	0.05813	84	72	7	5
5057	My client wishes you the best, even though he'll no longer be your best friend.	1.2024	0.05019	84	69	13	2
5058	And you'll see here we do offer a healthcare package. Please note there is a surcharge if you are not neutered.	1.2024	0.05019	84	69	13	2
5059	Before you take him home, Fido needs you to sign a pre-PUPtial agreement.	1.2024	0.04724	84	68	15	1
5060	So, before he agrees to obey, he insists you sign this pre-pup.	1.2024	0.04724	84	68	15	1
5061	My client insists on total immunity from any biting, chewing, and public urination issues	1.2024	0.05019	84	69	13	2
5062	He says sit,stay and write out your curriculum vitae.	1.2024	0.05813	84	72	7	5
5063	Can you just let sleeping dogs lie ? She doesn't want to discuss the matter any further"	1.2024	0.04724	84	68	15	1
5064	Please write down the number of walks per week _you_ think is fair.	1.2024	0.05019	84	69	13	2
5065	Here is your copy of your signed acknowledgment of your final H.R. warning to stop rubbing Ms. Coco's belly.	1.2024	0.05561	84	71	9	4
5066	OK, this is my client's final offer. Beg and roll over are out but fetch stays. You carry on with the belly rubs and he'll go along with the play dead.	1.2024	0.04724	84	68	15	1
5067	And here's a copy of Mrs. Bowser's Human Resource complaints against you!	1.2024	0.05019	84	69	13	2
5068	And Fluffy wants joint custody of the cat	1.2024	0.05019	84	69	13	2
5069	Sorry you had to learn it this way	1.2024	0.04724	84	68	15	1
5070	You can have custody of the puppies but she insists on keeping your slippers and bed.	1.2024	0.05561	84	71	9	4
5071	Lady's final offer is she gets to keep the puppies and you get to keep the fleas.	1.2022	0.04842	89	73	14	2
5072	He says the irreconcilable part started when you named him Barfy.	1.2022	0.04842	89	73	14	2
5073	The client expects a timely response from the service and might even bark while he waits.	1.2022	0.04570	89	72	16	1
5074	You are a strong candidate for the job but in this case loyalty is the tie-breaking attribute	1.2022	0.04282	89	71	18	0
5075	I'm sorry, Mr. Carroll, but repeatedly giving you fleas is not considered reasonable grounds for divorce.	1.2022	0.04282	89	71	18	0
5076	Just today, my client received three more offers on the doghouse.	1.2022	0.04570	89	72	16	1
5077	You'll see your wife every other weekend.	1.2022	0.04842	89	73	14	2
5078	Each of you write down a number that you can live with. Then we see if we can settle this thing.	1.2022	0.04842	89	73	14	2
5079	I'm here to help you through arbarktration	1.2022	0.04708	89	75	11	3
5080	Don't look at this as a divorce. Think of it as being fired.	1.2022	0.04842	89	73	14	2
5081	The bitch isn’t getting a scent!	1.2022	0.04842	89	73	14	2
5082	And you'll be in the doghouse forever.	1.2022	0.04570	89	72	16	1
5083	Fifi appreciates that you gave the marriage your best year, but she gave it her best seven. You can keep the penthouse, she wants the house upstate with the large yard “	1.2022	0.04842	89	73	14	2
5084	Again, you have to sign this NDA before he'll talk	1.2022	0.05099	89	74	12	3
5085	Charlie feels it is a generous settlement. After all, you get to keep the doghouse.	1.2021	0.04682	94	77	15	2
5086	She needs you to sign this prepuptual agreement before we go any further.	1.2021	0.04920	94	78	13	3
5087	As you see, we're looking for those with innovative ideas.	1.2021	0.04430	94	76	17	1
5088	Mommy’s Baby Boy wants you to waive your “Visitation Rights” Bob Murphy Naperville, Illinois	1.2021	0.04920	94	78	13	3
5089	Irreconcilable differences, you were way too controlling with the leash while on walks.	1.2021	0.04920	94	78	13	3
5090	A paw print will suffice.	1.2021	0.04430	94	76	17	1
5091	You might well have power of attorney, but he’s got power of the dog.	1.2021	0.04920	94	78	13	3
5092	You get the dog park on weekends.	1.2021	0.04682	94	77	15	2
5093	...and furthermore, Mr. Doodle is well aware of the brand new, unused pooper scooper in the shed. You could've saved yourself a lot of grief.	1.2021	0.04430	94	76	17	1
5094	My client has seen everything, so you better just sign.	1.2021	0.05147	94	79	11	4
5095	He gets the house, daily walks to the park, and one month every summer at the beach.	1.2021	0.05147	94	79	11	4
5096	In return, you agree only human or canned food, two daily walks, morning and evening outside bathroom breaks, and no cats in the house.	1.2021	0.04682	94	77	15	2
5097	My client is prepared to tell you who's a good boy as soon as you sign this NDA.	1.2021	0.04558	94	79	12	3
5098	Please sign this non-disclosure agreement protecting Bentley from his trade secrets. And don’t ask to borrow his pen	1.2020	0.05173	99	84	10	5
5099	My client seeks a cease and desist order that forbids you from ever ordering him to "play fetch".	1.2020	0.04302	99	80	18	1
5100	Before signing this employment contract be sure you understand that your expense vouchers will be signed off by the dog.	1.2020	0.04536	99	81	16	2
5101	Fluffy wants a $1000.00 per week for treats.	1.2020	0.04758	99	82	14	3
5102	The divorce is final.	1.2020	0.03039	99	83	15	1
5103	He wants to be walked 3 times a day and have 2 more snacks before bedtime. He will not accept anything less.	1.2019	0.04402	104	85	17	2
5104	Under the terms of separation, you will assume the cost of obedience school for all the children of the bitch.	1.2000	0.06296	75	65	5	5
5105	Buddy here has captured 22 robbers. Please write your experience with robbers.	1.2000	0.04793	90	74	14	2
5106	Your dog has stated his terms for the separation and now it is your turn.	1.2000	0.04793	90	74	14	2
5107	So it's settled. She gets the house, the car and the vacation home. And you get the half chewed shoe buried in the park.	1.2000	0.04793	90	74	14	2
5108	'And you received his deposit in your shoes this morning?'	1.2000	0.05239	85	71	11	3
5109	You have been served. Here, on behalf of my client, the emancipation request. Please take your time to review it until our next meeting. Thank you.	1.2000	0.04965	85	70	13	2
5110	He's taking half of everything, except for the bones, he's taking all the bones	1.2000	0.05156	80	66	12	2
5111	Yes, she’s met someone else. Here’s the division of assets.	1.2000	0.04714	100	83	14	3
5112	Yes, even man’s best friend need a prenup.	1.2000	0.04872	95	79	13	3
5113	This is the terms of my client against the costume you forced upon them.	1.2000	0.04500	80	64	16	0
5114	We prefer to call it a PrePup...	1.2000	0.04965	85	70	13	2
5115	We specialize in fidelity bonds	1.2000	0.04839	80	65	14	1
5116	"Great, you mastered your paper training!	1.2000	0.05022	75	61	13	1
5117	She’s insisting on a prepup	1.2000	0.05454	80	67	10	3
5118	He will agree to forego alimony if you agree to be microchipped.	1.2000	0.05156	80	66	12	2
5119	P-dawg would like you to sign off on the crib.	1.2000	0.05369	75	62	11	2
5120	I’ll need you to sign, initial and paw print on the dotted lines.	1.2000	0.04637	95	78	15	2
5121	She agrees to share custody of the pups	1.2000	0.04500	80	64	16	0
5122	You have to sign this prepup before he agrees to go home with you,	1.2000	0.04364	85	68	17	0
5123	So you have to sign this agreement to give back all of the old toys back to Mr Good Boy	1.2000	0.05288	90	76	10	4
5124	This personality test will be measured on the Bark/Wag scale	1.2000	0.05156	80	66	12	2
5125	Welcome to doggie-land, please state your credentials...	1.2000	0.05695	75	63	9	3
5126	We are sorry to inform you that Mr. Snowballs will be replacing you. Kindly sign the termination form here.	1.2000	0.04965	85	70	13	2
5127	Don't tell me you're going to get this job hands down, or in his case, paws down	1.2000	0.04674	85	69	15	1
5128	We emancipate at 2.57 because of the dog years.	1.2000	0.04674	85	69	15	1
5129	No,you can't call your boss a "bitch".	1.2000	0.05610	70	58	10	2
5130	Your dog demands more visitation rights	1.2000	0.05047	90	75	12	3
5131	He'll take $412,000. Cash. We have seven back-up offers.	1.2000	0.05239	85	71	11	3
5132	In event of your demise, this will assure an abundant supply of treats remain.	1.2000	0.04389	95	77	17	1
5133	Sign here to confirm he is in fact “a good boy”	1.2000	0.04839	80	65	14	1
5134	And you are able to keep the house.	1.2000	0.04321	80	66	13	1
5135	I'm the CEO and he's the DOG.	1.2000	0.05500	85	72	9	4
5136	His only demand is keeping the custody of your wife during weekdays. You can have her on weekends, as long as you bring an extra large Kong filled with frozen peanut butter.	1.2000	0.04815	70	56	14	0
5137	My client will be rewarded half of the estate"	1.2000	0.04240	90	72	18	0
5138	My client is alleging you did that to rug.	1.2000	0.05156	80	66	12	2
5139	The last non-negotiable point is the location of the new fire hydrant in the front yard."	1.2000	0.05239	85	71	11	3
5140	She wants a new bed, a box of milkbones and three guilt free walks a day or it’s the dog house for you.	1.2000	0.04637	95	78	15	2
5141	If you intend to breed her, Daisy insists on a prepup.	1.2000	0.04793	90	74	14	2
5142	This is page one of the 700 page release you must sign if you wish to bring your dog to work with you.	1.2000	0.04965	85	70	13	2
5143	our company loyalty test shows that dogs consume less food and do more work .	1.2000	0.04965	85	70	13	2
5144	We flipped a coin. It came out tails. Sorry.	1.2000	0.04674	85	69	15	1
5145	Bow wow wow	1.2000	0.04793	90	74	14	2
5146	Sorry Mr. Baroque, we have decided to go with Mr. Bark.	1.2000	0.04793	90	74	14	2
5147	Written and directed by Noah Baumbach	1.2000	0.05156	80	66	12	2
5148	It appears someone has the decision to be a "Good Boy"!	1.2000	0.05156	80	66	12	2
5149	She won’t contest a share of the 401k if she can have the dog house free and clear.	1.2000	0.04674	85	69	15	1
5150	Just sign this and you are formally separated from Fido!	1.2000	0.05610	70	58	10	2
5151	This is just a standard prepup agreement.	1.2000	0.05047	90	75	12	3
5152	Sign this and he promises to walk you regularly, at least once a day...	1.2000	0.05454	80	67	10	3
5153	Lastly, under the Settlement Agreement, Sadie Lady keeps all of her 401-K9.	1.2000	0.04569	105	87	15	3
5154	Here are my client’s terms of co-inhabitants.	1.2000	0.05047	90	75	12	3
5155	So, as poetry editor you’ll need to spot doggerel. Let’s see how you do.	1.2000	0.05737	80	68	8	4
5156	My dog walker just quit, and I have a must-go-to meeting with my Guru...If you get a haircut, the job is yours.	1.2000	0.05737	80	68	8	4
5157	Throw in a belly scratch and you have a deal.	1.2000	0.04637	95	78	15	2
5158	Man's best friend wants a contract.	1.2000	0.04872	95	79	13	3
5159	The competition here is doggone tough!	1.2000	0.04924	100	84	12	4
5160	In addition to the No Bath Policy, you'll only address him as "Mr. Biscuit" when walking in Central Park.	1.2000	0.04793	90	74	14	2
5161	He has an excellent point. Just how many bones have you stolen?	1.2000	0.05454	80	67	10	3
5162	OK, this is our final offer: my client has agreed to stop all barking after midnight, IF you agree to give him a good belly rub at least twice a week...	1.2000	0.04839	80	65	14	1
5163	He demands that “all doggie bags belong to him” William Main Toronto, Canada ??	1.2000	0.03767	125	101	23	1
5164	All Mr. Pipps is asking for is 1/2 of the slipper collection.	1.2000	0.05695	75	63	9	3
5165	OK! Now focus.. I'll shuffle them one more time. Keep your eye on the prize. If you miss it again this interview is over!	1.2000	0.05156	80	66	12	2
5166	And my client gets the dog house.	1.2000	0.04965	85	70	13	2
5167	If you see that tail wag, you'll know you've got the right number.	1.2000	0.05454	80	67	10	3
5168	Cooper agrees to partial custody of the kids, but demands full ownership of the dog house.	1.2000	0.05610	70	58	10	2
5169	Jake has agreed to wear a coat in the office and now it is your turn Mr. Smith.	1.2000	0.05239	85	71	11	3
5170	Please sign here to confirm your business is going to the dogs…	1.2000	0.05047	90	75	12	3
5171	And this is the standard 'walks' contract. Three per day regardless of weather or personal crises. Rufus agrees to wag tail and relieve self within first ten minutes.	1.2000	0.04793	90	74	14	2
5172	Your treat is under which hand? You have to guess. No sniffing.	1.2000	0.05610	70	58	10	2
5173	Beat his score and you can keep your job.	1.2000	0.04793	90	74	14	2
5174	The burden of woof rests on Mr. Wiggles.	1.2000	0.05156	80	66	12	2
5175	…and you, in return, hereby warrant that you hold and affirm my client to be a Very Good Boy.	1.2000	0.04500	80	64	16	0
5176	Rex is proposing this prenuptial agreement.	1.2000	0.04674	85	69	15	1
5177	Best” boy and a raise from crust to full slice, or he’s walking	1.2000	0.05047	90	75	12	3
5178	Mr. Snoop asked if you wouldn't mind being paid in biscuit treats.	1.2000	0.04637	95	78	15	2
5179	Please sign this pre-puptial agreement.	1.2000	0.04839	80	65	14	1
5180	Sorry, man's best friend got the job.	1.2000	0.05239	85	71	11	3
5181	He’s seeking an annulment.	1.2000	0.05156	80	66	12	2
5182	Now,Dog is suggesting you take every other weekend with your wife.	1.2000	0.05460	65	53	11	1
5183	Mr. Ruffles requires you to sign here to finalize the transfer of ownership as per Bark Bark Amendment #3.	1.2000	0.04525	90	73	16	1
5184	If you take the fall the sentence will be reduced from 7 years to 1.	1.2000	0.05047	90	75	12	3
5185	Heavy petting is not allowed in the office.	1.1983	0.04101	116	95	19	2
5186	Doggone it it's your turn to sign	1.1981	0.04911	106	90	11	5
5187	Man’s best friend needs legal representation.	1.1980	0.04879	101	85	12	4
5188	Which of you should get custody of the cat?	1.1980	0.04226	101	82	18	1
5189	You do realize that this divorce would preclude ever seeing this little fella again?	1.1979	0.04348	96	78	17	1
5190	He claims that you forged his pawprint	1.1979	0.04826	96	80	13	3
5191	It's his final offer. "Fresh dog food or he's breaking his emotional support agreement."	1.1979	0.04593	96	79	15	2
5192	Three walks a day, he won't bark at falling leaves--the usual terms.	1.1979	0.04593	96	79	15	2
5193	You should have known you live in a dog eats man world	1.1979	0.04348	96	78	17	1
5194	Well no, I am not asking for references from the dogs, just their owners.	1.1979	0.04826	96	80	13	3
5195	Agree to his demands and he’ll come back home.	1.1979	0.04826	96	80	13	3
5196	We thought a legal separation would be worth a try but your dog didn't agree.	1.1979	0.04348	96	78	17	1
5197	If you don't sign, all of this will be resolved in the court of paw. I mean law.	1.1979	0.04593	96	79	15	2
5198	So you can stay with file #1 or trade it for what’s in file #2 or #3 - do you feel lucky?	1.1979	0.04593	96	79	15	2
5199	He has already signed the emancipation papers. Your turn now.	1.1978	0.04480	91	74	16	1
5200	Yes, he is still devoted to you, but he'd like to negotiate a more equal arrangement, and that means the leash thing has to stop.	1.1978	0.05234	91	77	10	4
5201	It's a dog's world! But on the bright side, you're free to work elsewhere.	1.1978	0.04745	91	75	14	2
5202	Congrats on being a finalist. We rely on Barky Beta Testing Human Resources Consulting for this part of our interview. Just relax.	1.1978	0.04996	91	76	12	3
5203	My client, Fido, wants the big house. You can have the dog house.	1.1978	0.04480	91	74	16	1
5204	He insists it’s no deal unless you continue paying his obedience school fees	1.1978	0.04480	91	74	16	1
5205	Joey and I have agreed your services are no longer needed here.	1.1978	0.04745	91	75	14	2
5206	You will see in here that to Rover, the "Man's Best Friend" moniker is not only offensive in that it implies a strictly one-way, utilitarian relationship, but, even if it were in itself acceptable, it leaves out half of the human race.	1.1978	0.04745	91	75	14	2
5207	We're forced to serve papers, but if you bundled them up and threw them across the room my client would not object.	1.1977	0.04912	86	71	13	2
5208	Make sure to put your best paw forward.	1.1977	0.04625	86	70	15	1
5209	And, lastly, she wants the house.	1.1977	0.04912	86	71	13	2
5210	You can still visit the wife every other weekend.	1.1977	0.04625	86	70	15	1
5211	We could play fetch all afternoon, but I suggest you sign this.	1.1977	0.04625	86	70	15	1
5212	We think this is quite fair given Fred's best friend status	1.1977	0.04625	86	70	15	1
5213	And a bone on Sundays	1.1977	0.05441	86	73	9	4
5214	Lastly, my client respectfully asks that you refer to him as Mr. Smitty.	1.1977	0.04320	86	69	17	0
5215	My Client, Sparky, is tired of you rubbing his nose in "it".	1.1977	0.05183	86	72	11	3
5216	The Heir Inherit of your Families' Estate Plan heretoafter referred to as the Dogfather, has instructed me to issue a one time offer you can not refuse: Lifetime Commitment in form of a blank check.	1.1977	0.05183	86	72	11	3
5217	In the separration paper, Fido forsn’t want the leash.	1.1977	0.04625	86	70	15	1
5218	Wonderful! We just need your signature on our 'Code of Conduct' and you're both ready to hit the road with sales"	1.1977	0.04625	86	70	15	1
5219	And this is your MDA- mandatory disclosure agreement. We	1.1977	0.05050	86	74	8	4
5220	Not this again, Ross.	1.1977	0.04625	86	70	15	1
5221	If you agree to daily belly-rubs, immediate reinforcement of positive choices with the 'good' treats, and allowing tree-sniffing as needed during outdoor time, then he agrees to refrain from chewing your favorite running shoes.	1.1977	0.04912	86	71	13	2
5222	Your application form was not dog eared...re-submit immediately.	1.1977	0.04625	86	70	15	1
5223	My client says the two walks a day rule is non-negotiable	1.1977	0.04912	86	71	13	2
5224	It seems the tables have turned, sir—you’re in the dog house now.	1.1977	0.04912	86	71	13	2
5225	As you can see, the puppy you bought for Christmas is in direct violation of the "man's best friend" prenup	1.1975	0.04785	81	66	14	1
5226	Your dog has his list of wants and don’t wants, and he’s asking you to do the same.	1.1975	0.05098	81	67	12	2
5227	You never really know a dog until you meet him in court”.	1.1975	0.05098	81	67	12	2
5228	Show me the Kibbles!	1.1975	0.05098	81	67	12	2
5229	I think you'll find his demands reasonable.	1.1975	0.05098	81	67	12	2
5230	He'll love you unconditionally...as soon as you agree to the terms & conditions	1.1975	0.04785	81	66	14	1
5231	Two walks per day, no fillers in the kibbles, or we go straight to the ASPCA	1.1975	0.05098	81	67	12	2
5232	She wants nothing from you in this divorce — except the blanket at the foot of the bed.	1.1975	0.04451	81	65	16	0
5233	Yes, it's pink.	1.1975	0.04451	81	65	16	0
5234	It has been a ruff week for my client, however, he still means business.	1.1975	0.05392	81	68	10	3
5235	This is a copy of your pre-pup agreement	1.1975	0.05671	81	69	8	4
5236	Yes, I am afraid my client is insisting you eat this piece of paper before negotiations can continue.	1.1975	0.05392	81	68	10	3
5237	Which one of these piles of paper is your bonus hiding?	1.1975	0.05671	81	69	8	4
5238	Yes. Defamation of character. What’s wrong. Did the dog eat your response brief?”	1.1975	0.04451	81	65	16	0
5239	We can prove that you’ve been sticking your nose where it doesn’t belong.	1.1975	0.04785	81	66	14	1
5240	You get the cats...the bitch gets the rest.	1.1975	0.05392	81	68	10	3
5241	Here's his best offer. A new toy every week and better treats or he moves to your neighbor's house.	1.1975	0.04451	81	67	13	1
5242	If you really want this job, tell me which one has the pea under it.	1.1975	0.05392	81	68	10	3
5243	Now you best take a walk	1.1975	0.05098	81	67	12	2
5244	This is your pink slip. We have to let you go because you are not a good boy.	1.1974	0.05305	76	63	11	2
5245	The plaintiff alleges that you failed to provide enough treats.	1.1974	0.04963	76	62	13	1
5246	Sure,bring your dog. Just sign the employment contract.	1.1974	0.05305	76	63	11	2
5247	Woof	1.1974	0.04596	76	61	15	0
5248	My client says, “Now who’s in the dog house?”	1.1974	0.05305	76	63	11	2
5249	Sing on the dotted line, a risk walk twice a day.	1.1974	0.05305	76	63	11	2
5250	You’ll receive the house, furniture and the Rothkos, he’ll receive the squeaky toys and tennis balls.	1.1974	0.04596	76	61	15	0
5251	He will not roll over on this point.	1.1974	0.05305	76	63	11	2
5252	Mike, we’d like you to take over as CEO.	1.1974	0.04963	76	62	13	1
5253	Dog Divorce	1.1974	0.05305	76	63	11	2
5254	here is your final divorce paper to this dog	1.1974	0.04963	76	62	13	1
5255	And he gets assess to your left leg every other weekend.	1.1974	0.05305	76	63	11	2
5256	Finally, my client insists on shared custody of your lap, whenever she's feeling snuggly."	1.1974	0.04596	76	61	15	0
5257	He thinks your resume is looking a little ruff.	1.1974	0.05305	76	63	11	2
5258	Look, Buddy wants you to know it's not personal. He's just a good boy in need of a good-er owner, and we don't think you're quite at that level yet.	1.1972	0.05537	71	59	10	2
5259	What we reward here is loyalty. Here's your pink slip.	1.1972	0.05890	71	60	8	3
5260	All right then Mr. Stanway, it's settled: Fido keeps your ex-wife, and you give him a little treat every time he barks.	1.1972	0.05161	71	58	12	1
5261	Here is a list of his demands which include more frequent walks, improved food, and a warmer place to sleep. In exchange, he will do his business in a secluded area where no one will see it so you won't have to pick it up.	1.1972	0.05161	71	58	12	1
5262	If you are hired, you will be reporting to VP Canine here who has been with us for years.	1.1972	0.05161	71	58	12	1
5263	Yes, you get the house, but she gets full use of the hydrant in front of the house.	1.1972	0.05161	71	58	12	1
5264	This is an offer from our Walkies Group. If you like it, just lick it on the dotted line.	1.1972	0.05537	71	59	10	2
5265	He has a counteroffer. How do you like the taste of dog treats?	1.1972	0.05537	71	59	10	2
5266	This is your copy of Charlie’s signed separation agreement.	1.1972	0.05161	71	58	12	1
5267	Paws clause #3 failure to walk by corner tree.	1.1972	0.05537	71	59	10	2
5268	Sir, you’re being sued for complaints of serving your dog the same meal every day.	1.1972	0.05161	71	58	12	1
5269	Gonna be a ruff interview...	1.1970	0.03943	132	109	20	3
5270	In 500 words or less,tell us what makes you the walker Max would hire.	1.1970	0.06190	66	56	7	3
5271	Ok, now give me your demands from the property settlement.	1.1970	0.05802	66	55	9	2
5272	I assume you are a dog person.	1.1967	0.05639	61	50	10	1
5273	She insists on a prepup.	1.1961	0.04189	102	83	18	1
5274	Are you sure you want to be adopted?	1.1961	0.04629	102	85	14	3
5275	This is Skip Barczalot, head of Personnel. He can smell out a good hire from yards away.	1.1961	0.04189	102	83	18	1
5276	Two reasons. Only one meal a day and never playing fetch the ball	1.1961	0.05031	102	87	10	5
5277	My client insists on keeping the fleas.	1.1961	0.04629	102	85	14	3
5278	Your estranged wife sent her attorney." Lloyd Berkowitz Boca Raton, F	1.1961	0.04835	102	86	12	4
5279	Please read and sign using your full name. S.C. Rewe	1.1961	0.04189	102	83	18	1
5280	Sir, if these terms seem unfair, may I remind you, my client IS a VERY good boy.	1.1959	0.04550	97	80	15	2
5281	My client is requesting financial compensation for emotional damages on the grounds of your insistence on cutting his balls off.	1.1959	0.04550	97	80	15	2
5282	He wants you to know. He's a good girl!	1.1959	0.04780	97	81	13	3
5283	If you accept the job he has a list of requirements also: part of your lunch and daily drinks from the water cooler.	1.1959	0.04780	97	81	13	3
5284	Every dog has his day and you're in the doghouse.	1.1957	0.04698	92	76	14	2
5285	You're fired. I have to hire Ruffy here. Dog discrimination. Sorry you are white.	1.1957	0.04946	92	77	12	3
5286	She's filing for Muttimony, but will settle for Lassie re-runs.	1.1957	0.05182	92	78	10	4
5287	Basically your pre-pups require two walks a day and no dry dogfood. In return she won't relieve herself on the floor.	1.1957	0.04698	92	76	14	2
5288	Now, before Rover will agree to go home with you, you must sign this pre-nup.	1.1957	0.04698	92	76	14	2
5289	You can keep the house, but Mr. Fluffypoo requests custody of the green squeaky bone and the blue squeaky bone.	1.1957	0.04159	92	74	18	0
5290	By signing this, you agree to accompany Barkley to the relief area so that he is no longer shamed for using the executive washroom.	1.1957	0.04946	92	77	12	3
5291	As damages for being referred to as a "bad dog", a clear defamation of character, this is our final figure.	1.1957	0.04437	92	75	16	1
5292	One of you get's to eat my homework.	1.1957	0.04698	92	76	14	2
5293	The vote is two to one. You're fired!	1.1957	0.04946	92	77	12	3
5294	We have read your resume and if Fido wags his tail, you get the job.	1.1957	0.04437	92	75	16	1
5295	… and, as stated here, Fluffs gets the house.	1.1957	0.04159	92	74	18	0
5296	You get the shock collar.	1.1957	0.04946	92	77	12	3
5297	So my client’s position is: soup bones for life, and you can keep the house.	1.1957	0.04437	92	75	16	1
5298	My client's demands include three meals a day, a heated & air conditioned dog house, and no more "Who's a good boy?"	1.1957	0.04437	92	75	16	1
5299	As part of the settlement, the kids walk Fido every weekend.	1.1957	0.04437	92	75	16	1
5300	Just read the contract. He'll chew on the details.	1.1954	0.04861	87	72	13	2
5301	Yes, he is the head of the company . . . but I translate for him . . . now, just answer the question.	1.1954	0.05383	87	74	9	4
5302	In short, it says this best friendship is irreconcilably broken.	1.1954	0.04861	87	72	13	2
5303	His demand of full custody of the treats remains unchanged.	1.1954	0.05128	87	73	11	3
5304	Near as I can make it out, she's saying "what's this crap about leaving 51% of everything to the cat?"	1.1954	0.05383	87	74	9	4
5305	They want to claim damages for the experiments that took place in 1890.	1.1954	0.05383	87	74	9	4
5306	Rex's chick magnet influencer numbers weren't great this year. Try wearing these hoodies instead of those awful flannel shirts.	1.1954	0.04861	87	72	13	2
5307	And my client shall have unlimited access to the hydrant.	1.1954	0.05128	87	73	11	3
5308	Seven boxes of Milky Bones every week sounds extravagant but I'd take the deal.	1.1954	0.04861	87	72	13	2
5309	Three daily walks and unlimited access to the fridge. Final offer.	1.1954	0.05128	87	73	11	3
5310	your best friend is leaving you everything in his will	1.1954	0.05128	87	73	11	3
5311	And yes, she wants custody of the kids.	1.1954	0.04861	87	72	13	2
5312	As part of the separation, my client proposes that you keep the doghouse, leashes, and pooper scooper	1.1954	0.04861	87	72	13	2
5313	You get to keep the house, and but they get the backyard.	1.1954	0.04861	87	72	13	2
5314	She's offering man-treats for life, but you skip the baby talk in front of her friends, especially the Great Dane.	1.1954	0.04861	87	72	13	2
5315	My client agrees to allow you to continue living in your shared domicile while he interviews other families. He retains sole rights to the comfy couch and the stuffed giraffe.	1.1954	0.04861	87	72	13	2
5316	Fido sniffed your application. He does not approve.	1.1954	0.04578	87	71	15	1
5317	The most material term for Butch is the doggy door...	1.1954	0.05128	87	73	11	3
5318	And when your 401K is vested, you too may bring your pet to work	1.1951	0.04733	82	67	14	1
5319	So as I understand it, you are suing Bongo for infliction of pain and suffering and emotional anguish for failure to hold to his verbal contract to be Man's Best Friend, because he likes your girlfriend better?	1.1951	0.05331	82	69	10	3
5320	Waldo signed his part of the contract	1.1951	0.05041	82	68	12	2
5321	Your probationary period is two months. You’ll get health, stock option, and matching 401K if you’re a Good Boy.	1.1951	0.05607	82	70	8	4
5322	And the Florida doghouse.	1.1951	0.05041	82	68	12	2
5323	I want the bone china.	1.1951	0.05607	82	70	8	4
5324	Before we proceed,my client will need to see if your hands are,indeed,empty.	1.1951	0.04733	82	67	14	1
5325	He wants to know. You seem to be a good boy…are you a good boy?	1.1951	0.05041	82	68	12	2
5326	She says you can keep the house.	1.1951	0.05331	82	69	10	3
5327	It's a restraining order. Due to your lack of consistency which results only in confusion, it is now only your wife who will be authorized to issue commands.	1.1951	0.05331	82	69	10	3
5328	I usually have him here for interviews, he is likable, speaks well and looks good in a suit.	1.1951	0.05331	82	69	10	3
5329	My client agrees not to unleash the justice machine upon you as long as you behave.	1.1951	0.05041	82	68	12	2
5330	So to confirm, Spot gets the boat, the apartment and the bone.	1.1951	0.05041	82	68	12	2
5331	We have received a written confession from the dog. Prior to your internship here at Farnsworth, you will be required to re-create your book report for Mrs. Wilson's English class.	1.1948	0.04905	77	63	13	1
5332	Here is your severance offer. I've asked our HR representative here in case you have any questions.	1.1948	0.05558	77	65	9	3
5333	In just one of these reviews is your raise.	1.1948	0.05242	77	64	11	2
5334	You'll be reporting to our token liberal. Do you happen to speak Bolognese?	1.1948	0.04543	77	62	15	0
5335	you sign, they'll paw	1.1948	0.05242	77	64	11	2
5336	His CV is fetchingly, doggedly perfect.	1.1948	0.04905	77	63	13	1
5337	According to your aunt's will,you still get the lake house,the car,and the boat. What are you complaining about?	1.1948	0.04905	77	63	13	1
5338	Your exact words were "Whoever runs this department is a Son of a Bitch" Mister Johnson... That's why we have to let you go	1.1948	0.05242	77	64	11	2
5339	Waldo begged the question, and now you have to write down your stupid response so he can personally shred it right before your eyes.	1.1948	0.05857	77	66	7	4
5340	My client has agreed to be a good boy on the condition that he receive a treat.	1.1948	0.05242	77	64	11	2
5341	He’s suing you for the cutting of his testicles.	1.1948	0.05857	77	66	7	4
5342	Blah, blah, blah, blah, alimony. Blah blah blah blah."	1.1948	0.06142	77	67	5	5
5343	He says "Colabrador" is a cute software name, but says the coding is all bark and no bite.	1.1948	0.04543	77	62	15	0
5344	And any offspring will be subject to the pre-pup agreement	1.1948	0.05558	77	65	9	3
5345	It’s been a ‘ruff’ negotiation, but my client is willing to shake on it.	1.1948	0.04905	77	63	13	1
5346	She wants custody of the dachshund.	1.1948	0.04543	77	62	15	0
5347	The cat is non-negotiable.	1.1948	0.05242	77	64	11	2
5348	It's a palimony agreement. He wants to be you pal.	1.1948	0.04905	77	63	13	1
5349	And finally, no more referring to the abode of the party of the first part as the “dog house.” From this moment forward, it shall only be known as the “Betty White Memorial Naptime Palace.”	1.1948	0.04905	77	63	13	1
5350	The mutt wants half.	1.1948	0.05242	77	64	11	2
5351	Marriage? Fill out this document. Divorce? There is a different document. We honor paw prints	1.1944	0.05467	72	60	10	2
5352	Finally,the pre-nup stipulates absolutely no cats, full stop.	1.1944	0.05814	72	61	8	3
5353	He says you ate the prepup.	1.1944	0.04254	108	89	17	2
5354	It's your SPCA provenance okay ...	1.1944	0.05096	72	59	12	1
5355	She would like to keep the Sleigh Bed,but you can have the cushion on the floor.	1.1944	0.05467	72	60	10	2
5356	I’m sorry, but he was quite clear that he preferred to live with Jennifer	1.1944	0.05814	72	61	8	3
5357	Well, my client wasn't the one who went back to the office.	1.1944	0.05467	72	60	10	2
5358	We call it a Pre-pup agreement. It’s for everyone’s protection in case thing don’t work out between you.	1.1944	0.05814	72	61	8	3
5359	Fifi wants all the kibble, but you can keep the doghouse.	1.1944	0.05467	72	60	10	2
5360	I'm sorry, prohibiting drinking from the toilet is a deal breaker.	1.1944	0.04697	72	58	14	0
5361	My client's major concern arises from a statement you made, apparently claiming that "Fetch" was not going to happen.	1.1944	0.04453	108	90	15	3
5362	You can have the house. I'd like to keep the yard for myself	1.1944	0.05096	72	59	12	1
5363	He has a unique perspective as part of a new breed of human resource managers.	1.1944	0.05096	72	59	12	1
5364	This is no-fault mediation, Carl, so it's not about who's been a "good boy."	1.1942	0.04376	103	85	16	2
5365	Just sign here to start living a Dog's Life..	1.1942	0.04588	103	86	14	3
5366	The dog gets the kids every other weekend plus you pay for all the kibble.	1.1940	0.05312	67	55	11	1
5367	Agreement to settle with Party A, also known as Rover, RoverRoo, Lil Stinker, Woofus, Smelly Boi, Chonker, Pupparoni....	1.1940	0.05722	67	56	9	2
5368	The last part of the interview process is to explain in 200 words or less why you are a good boy.	1.1939	0.04014	98	79	19	0
5369	Do us a flowchart for fetching a stick.	1.1939	0.04735	98	82	13	3
5370	I'm sorry. It's two to one. You're out."	1.1939	0.04735	98	82	13	3
5371	Sorry, we're going with Mr. Barksalot's ad proposal, it has more bite.	1.1939	0.04735	98	82	13	3
5372	So, what do you say to no more doggie daycare, more fancy grooming and fewer vet visits?	1.1939	0.04508	98	81	15	2
5373	As part of the divorce, he gets to keep the doghouse.	1.1939	0.04268	98	80	17	1
5374	I'm afraid the doghouse isn't enough.	1.1935	0.04394	93	76	16	1
5375	Our company is not a family, but we are best friends.	1.1935	0.04897	93	78	12	3
5376	Try to dress a little better.	1.1935	0.04652	93	77	14	2
5377	You should not find any of my client’s stipulations onerous. That said, the phrase “bad dog” will result in severe penalties, depending on the setting of the useage.	1.1935	0.04119	93	75	18	0
5378	Mr Bubbles is demanding half of your assets after seeing you pet another dog	1.1935	0.04897	93	78	12	3
5379	I it right here in your moms will that Rafi gets the apartment on Park Ave.	1.1935	0.05353	93	80	8	5
5380	If you resign, he promises not to bite that hand that feeds him	1.1935	0.04897	93	78	12	3
5381	Now you have to sign. Champ has committed to potty breaks three times a day."	1.1935	0.04119	93	75	18	0
5382	You taught my client to beg and roll over. But those days are over.	1.1935	0.04652	93	77	14	2
5383	You can have the oceanfront kennel in the Hamptons.	1.1935	0.04652	93	77	14	2
5384	Yes he's only three, but that's 21 in dog years and so he wants to be emancipated from his leash...	1.1935	0.04394	93	76	16	1
5385	Gerald would like you to stop using dog emojis in emails you send him. He thinks it's speciesist, and I agree.	1.1935	0.04652	93	77	14	2
5386	Now it's time for you to scratch down some ideas."	1.1935	0.04652	93	77	14	2
5387	I'm afraid my client will accept no less than one walk a day in the adoption agreement.	1.1935	0.04652	93	77	14	2
5388	Thanks. Now Human Resources would like me to see if you pass our own sniff test.	1.1932	0.04810	88	73	13	2
5389	Put your paw print here.	1.1932	0.05326	88	75	9	4
5390	Please sign, initial or bark as indicated.	1.1932	0.04531	88	72	15	1
5391	She wants the beach house.	1.1932	0.05075	88	74	11	3
5392	Yes, you may see your wife every other weekend.	1.1932	0.04531	88	72	15	1
5393	My client is adamant About the prepup !	1.1932	0.05075	88	74	11	3
5394	Pursuant to Section 12, daily walkies were a condition of your employment."	1.1932	0.04810	88	73	13	2
5395	Let’s try again, but without the re-leash clause. Joseph D. - Arlington, VA	1.1932	0.04810	88	73	13	2
5396	So, this is your will and everything goes to your dog? The dog signed it so you can just put your right hand on your copy" and you have two witnesses"	1.1932	0.03912	88	72	16	0
5397	You will find this to be a generous package, considering the circumstances.	1.1932	0.04531	88	72	15	1
5398	The dividing of assets does not include the myriad of store bought affection that occurred in 2020-2021.	1.1932	0.04531	88	72	15	1
5399	You will keep the dog house but will renounce access to all the toys.	1.1932	0.04810	88	73	13	2
5400	Organic, vegan, gluten-free kibble--or no deal,"he says	1.1932	0.04810	88	73	13	2
5401	Separation anxiety has dog gone real world consequences.	1.1932	0.04810	88	73	13	2
5402	As an important part of our interview team, he can sniff-out a 'bad apple' "	1.1932	0.05326	88	75	9	4
5403	Here are the terms of our loyalty program	1.1932	0.04810	88	73	13	2
5404	He thinks your proposal is a bit ruff around the edges.	1.1932	0.05566	88	76	7	5
5405	It’s a pre-adoption agreement specifying terms of the relationship!	1.1932	0.04810	88	73	13	2
5406	Best and final offer. Lifetime supply of Milk Bone Dog biscuits	1.1932	0.04810	88	73	13	2
5407	Respondent hereby counteroffers a weekly quota of no more than eleven kiss-kisses.	1.1932	0.04531	88	72	15	1
5408	And before we start, remember that he three daily 15 minute outside breaks are non negotiable.	1.1932	0.05075	88	74	11	3
5409	He wants to negotiate for more walks in the park.	1.1932	0.04810	88	73	13	2
5410	Here is your salary for your last month here and we all hope you're ok with the fact that Snoop my dog will replace you.	1.1930	0.03916	114	93	20	1
5411	My client agrees you can keep the dog house and hammock, but everything else is on the table.	1.1928	0.04985	83	69	12	2
5412	Take it or you're gone!	1.1928	0.04985	83	69	12	2
5413	My client willing to let you keep the Dog House.	1.1928	0.04985	83	69	12	2
5414	We think it's fair. You get the bones. Scout gets the Tesla.	1.1928	0.05544	83	71	8	4
5415	Staying off the furniture is a non-starter.	1.1928	0.04985	83	69	12	2
5416	The grounds for the divorce are irreconcilable tummy rubs.	1.1928	0.04681	83	68	14	1
5417	Signing this transfer of property will minimally compensate him for his enduring loyalty.	1.1928	0.05272	83	70	10	3
5418	Yes, he's taking your place and his reputation precedes him.	1.1928	0.04681	83	68	14	1
5419	She'll agree to run 5 times a week with you, but only if you agree to give her the organic treats she likes every day.	1.1928	0.04681	83	68	14	1
5420	Your prepup agreement specifies three walks a day, not two.	1.1928	0.04681	83	68	14	1
5421	Go ahead write down your resignation letter cus we're hiring frodo for his performance in accumulating covid data for us.	1.1928	0.04681	83	68	14	1
5422	And Fido gets put on a long leash.	1.1923	0.05180	78	65	11	2
5423	This is the salary we're offering, but spoiler alert: We didn't need paper this size.	1.1923	0.05180	78	65	11	2
5424	How are you at belly rubs?	1.1923	0.04848	78	64	13	1
5425	Since Fifi moved in next door, he wants to reexamine the "man's best friend" clause.	1.1923	0.05180	78	65	11	2
5426	My client won't compromise on ten daily belly rubs and people food not that store bought garbage.	1.1923	0.04117	104	85	18	1
5427	She wants three snacks a day, not two. It's a deal-breaker.	1.1923	0.05180	78	65	11	2
5428	It's been a dogged negotiation but we've finally got an agreement for walkies.	1.1923	0.05180	78	65	11	2
5429	The main house and front lawn remain your own, with Fido taking over ownership of the doghouse and backyard. Really hope those dog-shaming memes on Facebook were worth it.	1.1923	0.04749	104	88	12	4
5430	My client insists on a pre-puptial agreement.	1.1923	0.04848	78	64	13	1
5431	Every page in this adoption agreement after 30 days will be made available to Fido, said adopted canine, for immediate Ripping and Chewing”.	1.1923	0.04491	78	63	15	0
5432	The barking will stop if we can strike this sofa clause.	1.1923	0.05180	78	65	11	2
5433	We'll have to keep you on a short leash for your first few months, but maybe later you'll have the run of the whole place.	1.1923	0.04848	78	64	13	1
5434	Mister Wiggles regretfully will have to pass on your employment. You are not a gooood boy.	1.1923	0.04848	78	64	13	1
5435	Once you sign here,Rex will officially become your Ex.	1.1923	0.05017	78	67	8	3
5436	As Buffy's legal representative, Buffy wishes that you sign the separation papers.	1.1923	0.05180	78	65	11	2
5437	Here is my resume, do you want to work for me?	1.1923	0.05180	78	65	11	2
5438	Rexypoo gets the house, the car and the investments. You get the dog biscuits.	1.1919	0.04466	99	82	15	2
5439	I warned you adopting a Russell Terrier Mix wasn't easy.	1.1919	0.04229	99	81	17	1
5440	My client will agree to the terms of your pre-pup if you agree to add this no-neuter clause.	1.1919	0.04466	99	82	15	2
5441	Pick a discharge, any discharge!	1.1919	0.03978	99	80	19	0
5442	You have read books by Price Pritchett, have you not?	1.1919	0.04229	99	81	17	1
5443	We revised section 14.3.2 based on my client’s wishes to “woof, woof, woof-woof”	1.1919	0.04466	99	82	15	2
5444	I'm sorry Bill, but Rex just did better as an employee, so we have to let you go.	1.1919	0.04466	99	82	15	2
5445	Would you mind completing this take-your-owner-to-work survey?	1.1919	0.04466	99	82	15	2
5446	According to the will, you are to share the estate equally. But she's contesting it.	1.1918	0.05033	73	60	12	1
5447	Now you just sign here. You get the car, and Fluffy gets the house and the bones.	1.1918	0.05398	73	61	10	2
5448	The board feels that our next Chief Diversity Officer must have a blue collar background.	1.1918	0.05033	73	60	12	1
5449	Well, Monroe, after observing you working remotely at home, we found that Sparky here, does most of your work anyway. So you can , “Sit and Stay” home. Sparky will be taking over your duties from here on in.	1.1918	0.05398	73	61	10	2
5450	Welcome to the company. My assistant here,Rags,will teach you everything you need to know.	1.1918	0.05398	73	61	10	2
5451	It's irreconcilable. Buddy says he misses the cuddling, the long walks and the treats.	1.1918	0.05033	73	60	12	1
5452	Listen, just settle now. If this goes to court, we're coming for the house AND the squeaky toys.	1.1918	0.05033	73	60	12	1
5453	He's suing you for fraud. He said you told him you were taking him to the dog park.	1.1918	0.05398	73	61	10	2
5454	Frankly, I see no need to take this to trial.	1.1918	0.05033	73	60	12	1
5455	My client insists that all liquid assets be converted into dog biscuits.	1.1918	0.05033	73	60	12	1
5456	Just tell us what we want to know mr anderson	1.1918	0.05398	73	61	10	2
5457	One last question: Are you a good boy? We only hire good boys here.	1.1918	0.05740	73	62	8	3
5458	Don't worry, he specializes in contracts.	1.1918	0.05740	73	62	8	3
5459	I don't like your shirt, you're fired.	1.1918	0.05033	73	60	12	1
5460	On the other hand, you have not been a good boy.	1.1918	0.05033	73	60	12	1
5461	My client reserves the right to approve any prenup agreement for which he might be included.	1.1915	0.04849	94	79	12	3
5462	Given Wednesday's breach of trust re: treat vis-à-vis park, my client has requested you sign these walking papers.	1.1915	0.04849	94	79	12	3
5463	Finally, my client requests that you agree that he's still a good dog.	1.1915	0.04607	94	78	14	2
5464	If you can guess the contents of these papers, you get the job. If not the puppy will.	1.1915	0.04351	94	77	16	1
5465	You can't replace what you took from him but you can make him whole again by co-signing to allow him to adopt a puppy.	1.1915	0.04607	94	78	14	2
5466	Before we make you an offer, Canine Resources has some questions.	1.1915	0.04351	94	77	16	1
5467	She will stay with you if you wear a bag over your head.	1.1915	0.04849	94	79	12	3
5468	Doesn’t matter what I think—Buddy has to like you.	1.1915	0.04607	94	78	14	2
5469	He wants half of your tennis balls	1.1915	0.04351	94	77	16	1
5470	If you'll just put your paw print on this contract, the adoption will be official.	1.1915	0.04849	94	79	12	3
5471	Your resume is top notch and you interviewed well Mr Schwartz. Unfortunately at this time, we don't have a hiring quota for single, white, heterosexual males.	1.1915	0.04849	94	79	12	3
5472	Oh, fuck!	1.1915	0.04607	94	78	14	2
5473	I represernt him and have power of attorney.	1.1915	0.04607	94	78	14	2
5474	And finally…sit	1.1915	0.04607	94	78	14	2
5475	My client is requesting half the household assets under the "who's a good boy clause" listed in the pre-rescue agreement.	1.1915	0.04607	94	78	14	2
5476	And this is the non-disclosure agreement	1.1912	0.04804	68	55	13	0
5477	My client is willing to bark less if he is also allowed to poop anywhere in the backyard.	1.1912	0.05644	68	57	9	2
5478	The NDA includes the that year you fed him cat food.	1.1912	0.06021	68	58	7	3
5479	He wants the doghouse and the bones. The rest he leaves to you.	1.1912	0.05644	68	57	9	2
5480	Pre-adoption agreements are becoming more common	1.1912	0.05644	68	57	9	2
5481	You understand that my clients "Best Friends" contract stipulates 5 belly rubs a day?	1.1912	0.05241	68	56	11	1
5482	Do you agree to the terms that my client has legal claim to certain areas of the backyard as well as the tree in the front yard?	1.1910	0.04761	89	74	13	2
5483	He says don't even think about omitting the extra biscuits in your counteroffer.	1.1910	0.04761	89	74	13	2
5484	Before you can take Rover home, he would also like you to sign this non-disclosure agreement, should the relationship turn sour between yourself and his holding company FIDO Industries Incorporated	1.1910	0.05022	89	75	11	3
5485	Lastly, as your best friend, a rare T-bone every Sunday night dinner appears to be in order.	1.1910	0.04761	89	74	13	2
5486	We don't require a lie detector test per se, but Fido here is an excellent judge of character.	1.1910	0.05022	89	75	11	3
5487	She says it"s not you, it's her"	1.1910	0.04761	89	74	13	2
5488	Don't worry. It's all going to the dogs!	1.1910	0.04761	89	74	13	2
5489	Finally, he hated the canned food.	1.1910	0.05022	89	75	11	3
5490	Fifty percent of his contract for the movie goes to you, forty percent goes to the SPCA, and ten percent goes to purchase chewy new tennis balls. Take it or leave it!	1.1910	0.04485	89	73	15	1
5491	We have to let you go. You weren’t willing to come back to work in the office and the dog did.	1.1910	0.04485	89	73	15	1
5492	Is it true you told Miss Coco to "go bark yourself" and referred to her as "Reign of terrier" amounts your co-workers	1.1910	0.05022	89	75	11	3
5493	In the event of a separation, my client wants assurances that the belly rubs will continue.	1.1910	0.05022	89	75	11	3
5494	Pro bono?	1.1910	0.05022	89	75	11	3
5495	This is your homework. Don't eat it.	1.1905	0.04631	84	69	14	1
5496	This is your copy of the agreement that he eats at the table like a regular person.	1.1905	0.04931	84	70	12	2
5497	Please be advised of our rollover terms.	1.1905	0.04300	105	87	16	2
5498	I believe we have an agreement in principle. In exchange for you taking him Upstate every other weekend, he'll promise to not chew up your furniture while you're at work.	1.1905	0.04310	84	68	16	0
5499	This is Scottie's final offer.	1.1905	0.04310	84	68	16	0
5500	I feel I'm well qualified for this position, and so doesn't my dog.	1.1905	0.05214	84	71	10	3
5501	Bill meet John Mutt-laney, the newest writer here at SNL.	1.1905	0.04931	84	70	12	2
5502	The peanut butter stays.	1.1905	0.04931	84	70	12	2
5503	My client is demanding five treats a day, or we walkies.	1.1905	0.04631	84	69	14	1
5504	Looks like she left everything to Fido. Here's a list of the things Fido said you could have. I think my Bark-to-English APP got the translation correct.	1.1905	0.04931	84	70	12	2
5505	My client is requesting that you be a good boy and sign the separation agreement.	1.1905	0.04631	84	69	14	1
5506	She's already made her sign; now she wants you to sign the Pre-Pet Agreement.	1.1905	0.04310	84	68	16	0
5507	Please put forward a plea of insanity for letting the dogs out, state you were barking mad at the time.	1.1905	0.04931	84	70	12	2
5508	My client wishes to officially change his name from Omicron.	1.1905	0.05214	84	71	10	3
5509	So, the kids' primary residence will be in the doghouse with her, and you'll get them every other weekend, alternating holidays, and two weeks in the summer.	1.1905	0.03605	105	89	14	2
5510	Actually, according to the pre-nup, you get the doghouse."	1.1905	0.04631	84	69	14	1
5511	Your starting salary will be determined by a game of Three-Contract Monte.”	1.1905	0.05214	84	71	10	3
5512	Who’s going to be a good boy and accept our offer? Roll over this offer and shake.	1.1905	0.05214	84	71	10	3
5513	She just signed the new contract. Sorry, you're out.	1.1905	0.04987	63	51	12	0
5514	after signing this, your dog has ,has equal voting rights on choosing the restaurant..	1.1905	0.04931	84	70	12	2
5515	I don't think throwing in his house is going to give you two much of an edge in this market!	1.1905	0.04931	84	70	12	2
5516	Regarding your missing assignment, perhaps you'd care to outline my client's alleged involvement.	1.1905	0.05214	84	71	10	3
5517	Now sir, Mr Woof here has kindly requested that you sign these papers so he can have custody over the puppies.	1.1905	0.04631	84	69	14	1
5518	Further, per the terms of the separation agreement, Pepper will be making no support payments despite her prior status as a "Support Animal."	1.1905	0.04931	84	70	12	2
5519	Woofer would like to ask you a few questions.	1.1905	0.04631	84	69	14	1
5520	Rover finished the test in 4 seconds. Let’s see how you do.	1.1905	0.04631	84	69	14	1
5521	It's agreed that Spot now owns all rights to his Instagram account	1.1905	0.04931	84	70	12	2
5522	My client has requested I assure you that, though he may not show it, he has absolutely zero intent for these proceedings to be..."Ruff."	1.1905	0.04931	84	70	12	2
5523	Now be a good boy and sign this.	1.1899	0.04792	79	65	13	1
5524	Any dispute about bark sound is a subject of this arbitration agreement.	1.1899	0.04792	79	65	13	1
5525	My client is seeking damages for electric collar crime.	1.1899	0.05428	79	67	9	3
5526	Mister Scruffy here has already done a good job with his paper; let’s see what you can come up with.	1.1899	0.05120	79	66	11	2
5527	My client is requesting the dog house in Hudson and regular weekend access to the fire hydrant adjacent to the entrance to your Brooklyn townhouse.	1.1899	0.05120	79	66	11	2
5528	And that’s 90 days in dog years.	1.1899	0.05996	79	69	5	5
5529	It's a pretty standard prenup." -Bob Thayer, San Francisco, C	1.1899	0.04792	79	65	13	1
5530	Ruff ruff; ruff, ruff ruff ruff ruff ruff?	1.1899	0.05719	79	68	7	4
5531	As his assistant, you'll need to take care of his business.	1.1899	0.05120	79	66	11	2
5532	My client would like for you to outline how you plan to transition his status from Covid acquisition to full member of the family.	1.1899	0.05120	79	66	11	2
5533	yes I it's true, about this, I am dogmatic.	1.1899	0.04620	79	67	10	2
5534	As you can see, Robert, my dog, the best judge of character in our organization, likes you. Just complete this form and include the name and phone number of your parole officer and you're hired.	1.1899	0.04792	79	65	13	1
5535	Well, Spot feels differently, Mr. Johnson.	1.1899	0.04792	79	65	13	1
5536	We’re seeking a different pedigree.	1.1899	0.04792	79	65	13	1
5537	You understand that once you sign, you will legally be required to tell my client who's a good boy...	1.1895	0.04563	95	79	14	2
5538	In this man bites dog settlement, Mr. Banana gets to legally change his name to Mr. Ralphie. And he wants the house.	1.1895	0.05247	95	82	8	5
5539	Well, Jason, in our day men were named Steven, Robert, and Richard. Isn't that right, Spot?	1.1895	0.04310	95	78	16	1
5540	You do want him to wag his tail, don’t you?	1.1895	0.04802	95	80	12	3
5541	As Rex’s lawyer, I advise you that if you value your carpets, furniture and new bamboo plank floors, his petition for declaration of canine emancipation is an offer you can’t refuse.	1.1895	0.04563	95	79	14	2
5542	By signing this, you agree that all walks will exceed one hour.	1.1895	0.04563	95	79	14	2
5543	All he's asking for is his dog house, and equal access to the living room sectional.	1.1895	0.05030	95	81	10	4
5544	Unfortunately my client ate the rest of legal documents.	1.1895	0.04802	95	80	12	3
5545	On this you agree to not ever to use the phrase "half the man my dog thinks I am or any other fraction less than one"	1.1892	0.04971	74	61	12	1
5546	You know it’s a dog eat dog world.	1.1892	0.04584	74	60	14	0
5547	It's a dog eat dog world. You have no choice but to sign.	1.1892	0.05667	74	63	8	3
5548	It's a non-retractable leash agreement	1.1892	0.05667	74	63	8	3
5549	I'm trying to determine just who is a good boy, yes, who's a good boy.	1.1892	0.04971	74	61	12	1
5550	We would like you to join our 'Best Buy Treats' company as Quality Manager. This is your contract and Bilbo here is going to be your assistant.	1.1892	0.05331	74	62	10	2
5551	So we all agree. You get to keep any area of the house where Sparky has not marked his territory. And in front of others, you must still say, "Whose a good boy"	1.1892	0.04971	74	61	12	1
5552	Your offer letter is behind door A, B or C. Which door do you choose?	1.1892	0.04971	74	61	12	1
5553	You be the judge, one pea under these three stacks of paper. 2 say we review your annual job performance, one says you’re fired. The dog is here to guffaw in case you choose the wrong choice.	1.1892	0.05667	74	63	8	3
5554	And he gets the squeaky toy.	1.1892	0.05331	74	62	10	2
5555	He gets the job but here's a piece of paper.	1.1892	0.05985	74	64	6	4
5556	...and my client's final demand is no more trips to the vet.	1.1892	0.04584	74	60	14	0
5557	Here is my shopping list.	1.1892	0.04971	74	61	12	1
5558	You can skip the section regarding the mandatory rollover.	1.1889	0.04713	90	75	13	2
5559	This is Sparky's best offer.	1.1889	0.04713	90	75	13	2
5560	She remembers the time you called her a dog.	1.1889	0.04440	90	74	15	1
5561	My client is willing to forgive being neutered, if you'll just get rid of the cat.	1.1889	0.04713	90	75	13	2
5562	By signing this, sir, you agree to a "good boy" every other weekend.	1.1889	0.04440	90	74	15	1
5563	And, sign here to acknowledge that you agree to the terms of the pre-best friend agreement.	1.1889	0.04440	90	74	15	1
5564	So, shouldn’t this oath say, “so help me God”?	1.1889	0.04713	90	75	13	2
5565	There’s no beating him; he’s a trained ambulance chaser.	1.1889	0.04970	90	76	11	3
5566	Fill out this application, and then we'll proceed to the sniff test.	1.1889	0.04713	90	75	13	2
5567	“Although he’s under no legal obligation, Ralphie is generously passing on to you your Mother’s ashes.”	1.1889	0.04970	90	76	11	3
5568	The Estate bequeathed you - in "dog year's- a lifetime of deworming and defleaing.	1.1889	0.04713	90	75	13	2
5569	Leaving my client in that hot car will cost you a lot of cold cash.	1.1889	0.04440	90	74	15	1
5570	Friendship aside, your good boy would like you to sign here.	1.1889	0.04713	90	75	13	2
5571	Take this home. Fill, it out. Roscoe here will give it the smell test.	1.1889	0.04440	90	74	15	1
5572	You may find our offer unusual.	1.1889	0.04440	90	74	15	1
5573	If you want to adopt Fido, he insists you sign a pre-nup.	1.1889	0.04440	90	74	15	1
5574	We're recommending obedience school	1.1889	0.04440	90	74	15	1
5575	We'll need your paw print at the bottom of each page.	1.1889	0.04970	90	76	11	3
5576	My client proposes joint possession of your slippers, in return for which you may chew his bone.	1.1889	0.04713	90	75	13	2
5577	Now that Fido is done, please write down in your own words exactly what happened in his yard.	1.1884	0.04742	69	56	13	0
5578	Will you accept canine arbitration?	1.1882	0.05157	85	72	10	3
5579	He'll let you keep both the trainer and groomer, but he gets the beach house	1.1882	0.04582	85	70	14	1
5580	...plus all the biscuits you can eat.	1.1882	0.04265	85	69	16	0
5581	You’re on the hook for pandemic pet resettlement and related therapy costs.”	1.1882	0.04265	85	69	16	0
5582	As part of the divorce settlement she wants half of your slippers and a written affidavit stating that she's a very good girl.	1.1882	0.05157	85	72	10	3
5583	This should settle everything, even if it bites.	1.1882	0.04878	85	71	12	2
5584	Your dog will need to pay the vet bill, it’s overdue.	1.1882	0.04878	85	71	12	2
5585	It's the boilerplate contract insuring Archie receives half of all Instagram and/or YouTube earnings.	1.1882	0.04878	85	71	12	2
5586	The couch schedule is negotiable by belly rubs are iron clad!	1.1882	0.04582	85	70	14	1
5587	Apparently you reliance on kibble sucks and he’s going to stay with your wife.	1.1882	0.04878	85	71	12	2
5588	Rover sez he never ate your paper in 5th grade, you are a lied and cannot be trusted.	1.1882	0.04878	85	71	12	2
5589	Mansion is out of question but you can keep the dog house.	1.1882	0.04878	85	71	12	2
5590	... and you get the litter box.	1.1882	0.04878	85	71	12	2
5591	Chantilly will of course get the house predicated on your extreme emotional abuse,the crying and yelling about Covid-19,January 6th,climate change,living on canned chili and …blaming your flatulence on her.	1.1882	0.05157	85	72	10	3
5592	My client agrees to sublet Royal Acres #4, formerly known as the doghouse, for 100 lbs of ground beef a month and a chewy toy.	1.1882	0.04582	85	70	14	1
5593	Your assets will be divided equally between you and your dog.	1.1882	0.04582	85	70	14	1
5594	Barfy wants you to sign off ownership of the Manhattan condo, then you can split.	1.1882	0.04265	85	69	16	0
5595	So he put you in the dog house....	1.1882	0.04878	85	71	12	2
5596	He rejects your accusation that his complaint about not feeding him enough is just a conspiracy theory.	1.1882	0.04878	85	71	12	2
5597	Actually, euthanasia is the kindest option.	1.1882	0.05157	85	72	10	3
5598	We found your first draft too ruff.	1.1882	0.04878	85	71	12	2
5599	Even man's best friend needs a prenup.	1.1882	0.04878	85	71	12	2
5600	Best we can offer you and the dog...	1.1882	0.04265	85	69	16	0
5601	He'll be walking himself from now on.	1.1882	0.04582	85	70	14	1
5602	Clearly Clarice wants mommy. Just sign and be done with it.	1.1881	0.04606	101	85	13	3
5603	It’s a good deal. A good, good deal.	1.1881	0.04386	101	84	15	2
5604	The dog states he wants his house back. Your wife won’t let him out of it.	1.1881	0.04386	101	84	15	2
5605	My client doesn’t feel like the dog house is gonna cut it.	1.1881	0.03908	101	85	15	1
5606	Fido’s final offer, Fifi.	1.1881	0.04386	101	84	15	2
5607	Actually, pre-pupual agreements are quite common in this state.	1.1875	0.04270	96	79	16	1
5608	Sir, please just agree to the requested amount of treats stated in the document.	1.1875	0.04756	96	81	12	3
5609	The widow thought it only proper you should receive one third of the estate, Mr. Wilson. And yes, as a thank you she knows how to shake, but she would prefer a belly rub"	1.1875	0.04391	80	65	15	0
5610	He's willing to go down to two walks a day, but in return he wants one bath a month and five treats a day.	1.1875	0.04391	80	65	15	0
5611	It may be all be "doggerel" to you, sir, but to Fluffy it means financial independence and a fresh start.	1.1875	0.04738	80	66	13	1
5612	You get to choose your bonus: The virtual skyline, Rufus, or the envelope.	1.1875	0.05652	80	69	7	4
5613	This a standard prepuptual agreement	1.1875	0.05061	80	67	11	2
5614	As Mr. Goodboy’s attorney, I am authorized to let you know that without a signed pre pup, there will be no cuddles.	1.1875	0.05061	80	67	11	2
5615	He's relinquishing all claims to the Park Slope walk-up if you agree to share custody of the kids.	1.1875	0.05398	64	53	10	1
5616	State law prohibits marriage, but Fido can become your legal guardian	1.1875	0.04738	80	66	13	1
5617	Benefits include walks twice a day and treats in the afternoon...	1.1875	0.04738	80	66	13	1
5618	Sign here, and Wellington allows you access to the house if you install a fire hydrant in the back yard.	1.1875	0.04391	80	65	15	0
5619	This is his final settlement offer. He still claims you bit first.	1.1875	0.04738	80	66	13	1
5620	I am obliged to advise you that his paw print may or may not be legally binding.	1.1875	0.04738	80	66	13	1
5621	You really want this one? I'm pretty sure the dog could make a better choice.	1.1875	0.04391	80	65	15	0
5622	As your best friend he’s asking for reciprocity regarding the family jewels	1.1875	0.05061	80	67	11	2
5623	If you'll just sign this release, she's willing to walk.	1.1875	0.05364	80	68	9	3
5624	It's a shell game. You pick the real estate contract with the least possible bids. Watch closely.	1.1875	0.05061	80	67	11	2
5625	This document outlines your expected Alibony payments.	1.1875	0.05061	80	67	11	2
5626	It’s just a simple pre-pup.	1.1875	0.05364	80	68	9	3
5627	As my client has said repeatedly, it’s all right there in black and white	1.1875	0.04738	80	66	13	1
5628	Now look, Mr Smith. Fluffy will sign the papers if you agree to a divorce due to irreconcilable differences.	1.1875	0.04270	96	79	16	1
5629	David, tell me the truth, did you forget where you buried your pen?	1.1875	0.04519	96	80	14	2
5630	I hope you will do a great job as a team	1.1875	0.04391	80	65	15	0
5631	...and finally, she wants sole custody of Squeeky Poo.	1.1868	0.04396	91	75	15	1
5632	Of course, Fluffy will make the final decision.	1.1868	0.04920	91	77	11	3
5633	Fine, you can have the tennis balls but I want the dog house.	1.1868	0.04920	91	77	11	3
5634	You will be working for my best friend.	1.1868	0.04920	91	77	11	3
5635	He no longer sees a path in the vision you have for his social media accounts.	1.1868	0.04396	91	75	15	1
5636	My client had some dobermands.	1.1868	0.04920	91	77	11	3
5637	I agree. Five cartoon fingers does seem … excessive.	1.1868	0.04665	91	76	13	2
5638	He is requesting full custody of the chew toys but is open to shared custody of any tennis balls	1.1868	0.04396	91	75	15	1
5639	My client is suing for return of his rightful property after the trip to the vet to get "tutored".	1.1868	0.04920	91	77	11	3
5640	It would be best if you move on with your life too	1.1868	0.04396	91	75	15	1
5641	And if you sign now, you get free membership in the " bark and bone" club at no additional cost!	1.1868	0.04396	91	75	15	1
5642	He's a dog eat dog negotiator!	1.1868	0.04665	91	76	13	2
5643	It's clear that you violated your pre-pup contract	1.1868	0.04108	91	74	17	0
5644	You will be allowed to take possession once the loan funds	1.1868	0.05162	91	78	9	4
5645	Here's our final severance offer: 5,000 cans of Alpo.	1.1867	0.05597	75	64	8	3
5646	After years of not being appreciated for being a good doggie, my client, Mr. Sniffles, is announcing his emancipation from you.	1.1867	0.04911	75	62	12	1
5647	No peeking!	1.1867	0.04911	75	62	12	1
5648	I'm sorry. But, your Brittany Spaniel is seeking the dissolution of your conservatorship.	1.1867	0.04530	75	61	14	0
5649	He insists that it’s not you, it’s him.	1.1867	0.04530	75	61	14	0
5650	That concludes our interview. Will you accept your salary in bones?	1.1867	0.04911	75	62	12	1
5651	Our top dog has decided that your services are no longer needed in his company, as he IS the CEO...	1.1867	0.04911	75	62	12	1
5652	Just sign this. Don't make him deliver it again with the newspaper.	1.1867	0.04530	75	61	14	0
5653	Sorry. He's just better qualified than you are...	1.1867	0.04530	75	61	14	0
5654	So, we were all adopted?	1.1867	0.04911	75	62	12	1
5655	He’s willing to let you keep all the kibble and the stick.	1.1867	0.05265	75	63	10	2
5656	Sign here for Fido's freedom from leash forever.	1.1867	0.04530	75	61	14	0
5657	I need you to sign here, acknowledging that we no longer offer retirement packages due to Climate Change.	1.1867	0.04530	75	61	14	0
5658	His opening offer is T-bone steak for dinner twice a week and frisbee twice a day.	1.1867	0.04530	75	61	14	0
5659	She wants final approval on everything!	1.1864	0.06151	59	50	7	2
5660	He represents the furry side of things on the board.	1.1863	0.04564	102	86	13	3
5661	you can play a piano concerto for four hands,and horsing around also remains an option	1.1863	0.04564	102	86	13	3
5662	As your emotional support animal, she insists you sign this waiver of responsibility.	1.1863	0.04117	102	84	17	1
5663	I must warn you, this interview may get a little ruff	1.1860	0.04826	86	72	12	2
5664	Don’t worry about missing the garbage can.	1.1860	0.04533	86	71	14	1
5665	Sorry but my client says a walk with no treats is a deal breaker.	1.1860	0.04533	86	71	14	1
5666	Under the terms of employ, at 6:00 a.m. and at 4:45 p.m. you will be required to use this paper on the balcony.	1.1860	0.04533	86	71	14	1
5667	...and this is your acknowledgment that my client shall receive three suitable treats per day, minimum.	1.1860	0.04533	86	71	14	1
5668	My client would like you to throw him a bone, Mr. Peters.	1.1860	0.04826	86	72	12	2
5669	He’ll agree to the adoption once you sign-off on his menu demands.	1.1860	0.04826	86	72	12	2
5670	My client will be taking the kibs.	1.1860	0.04533	86	71	14	1
5671	Here are Fido's terms for separation; he gets the doghouse, the squeaky toy and 3 bones from the butcher weekly.	1.1860	0.04826	86	72	12	2
5672	He wants shared custody of the cat and visitation with the kids every other holiday.	1.1860	0.04533	86	71	14	1
5673	You get to keep the stick, Fido gets the bone.	1.1860	0.04221	86	70	16	0
5674	Ok, it's already dated so all we need is a forepaw and it's a done deal.	1.1860	0.04221	86	70	16	0
5675	According to the canine labor union contract severance must be paid in both treats and belly rubs.	1.1860	0.04533	86	71	14	1
5676	Animals are people too, you know.	1.1860	0.04221	86	70	16	0
5677	New season ! ? Great choice	1.1860	0.04533	86	71	14	1
5678	His demands are prime rib for dinner, more chew toys and a softer bed. Now, please jot down yours.	1.1860	0.04533	86	71	14	1
5679	Um, no... it's clearly printed on contract, why would you need to date it again? All you need to do is urinate on the dotted line.	1.1860	0.04533	86	71	14	1
5680	My client gets everything but the backyard doghouse, which is yours during good behavior.	1.1860	0.04221	86	70	16	0
5681	Priscilla wants to see your penmanship.	1.1860	0.04221	86	70	16	0
5682	Your dog has testified against you because you forced him to go to the vet	1.1860	0.04533	86	71	14	1
5683	The dog emojis on your resume really set you apart from the other engineering applicants, Mr. Tailwagger “.	1.1860	0.04826	86	72	12	2
5684	Prior to completing the adoption, my client wants it to be clear that injection of a microchip to track him violates his rights.	1.1860	0.04826	86	72	12	2
5685	In fewer words, he didn’t cost us 15’000’000 dollars. You’re fired, Jonathan. We’ll keep your dog.	1.1860	0.04533	86	71	14	1
5686	I can tell my client is agreeing with your terms. He's wagging his tail.	1.1857	0.04682	70	57	13	0
5687	The divorce settlement sounds reasonable, a bone a month.	1.1857	0.05105	70	58	11	1
5688	Your wife left everything to Rex, except for one bag of puppy chow.	1.1857	0.05495	70	59	9	2
5689	My client would like to sue for hate speech under the grounds that you’ve called her a bitch.	1.1857	0.05105	70	58	11	1
5690	Rex here is trained to sniff for bombs,but the only bomb he can detect in this room is dat ass. Hot damn.	1.1857	0.05495	70	59	9	2
5691	Go ahead,sign the contract,I will be your best friend.	1.1857	0.05105	70	58	11	1
5692	…and, a quit claim deed, covering all KONG toys acquired during the pet/owner relationship.	1.1857	0.06203	70	61	5	4
5693	He now thinks the agreement is fairer than just throwing him a bone.	1.1857	0.05105	70	58	11	1
5694	He wants to assure you have no legal rights to the buried bones if you break the friendship.	1.1857	0.05495	70	59	9	2
5695	Here's a written list outlining why he thinks it's time to let him out of the dog house.	1.1857	0.04682	70	57	13	0
5696	It's my co-woofer.	1.1857	0.05495	70	59	9	2
5697	We will also need your signature on this employment form which explicitly states that seasonal warm summer weather at Terrier, Inc. may not be referred to as “dog days”.	1.1856	0.04230	97	80	16	1
5698	Fluffy has a list of codicils that she wants to add to you and your ex-wife's joint custody agreement.	1.1856	0.04710	97	82	12	3
5699	He wants full custody of your leg	1.1856	0.04476	97	81	14	2
5700	She gets the house, the yard, and shared custody of the chew toys.	1.1852	0.04685	81	67	13	1
5701	Be a good boy!	1.1852	0.04343	81	66	15	0
5702	We are interested in a candidate who won’t chase his own tail .	1.1852	0.04685	81	67	13	1
5703	Just sign here and he’ll waive support payments.	1.1852	0.04685	81	67	13	1
5704	He just wants his food bowl and the car rug, along with a guarantee you won’t approach him in the dog park.	1.1852	0.04685	81	67	13	1
5705	We keep all our interns on a very short leash.	1.1852	0.05003	81	68	11	2
5706	Here are Fido's terms for the settlement.	1.1852	0.05003	81	68	11	2
5707	What do you mean "it's demeaning?" Part of your employment contract is to walk Mr. Johnson's dog and no, there is no health insurance. Do you want the job or not?	1.1852	0.05586	81	70	7	4
5708	My client would like to keep dog house. You can have the car.	1.1852	0.04191	108	90	16	2
5709	Under the new "ANIMAL RIGHTS ACT" passed by Congress, my client Fido is insisting on Medical and Dental benefits	1.1852	0.05303	81	69	9	3
5710	Now let's turn to what my client has asked me to refer to as 'the incident' at the dog park.	1.1852	0.05003	81	68	11	2
5711	Bailey believes you'll find the conservatorship termination agreement quite amicable.	1.1852	0.05003	81	68	11	2
5712	Nonnegotiable mutual emotional support provisions mandate dog walks, treats, and conjugal visits with Lulu. Sign here by the paw print.	1.1852	0.05586	81	70	7	4
5713	Eerie, meanie, miney mo.	1.1852	0.04685	81	67	13	1
5714	He wants your pawprint, agreeing to the new ownership contract.	1.1852	0.04685	81	67	13	1
5715	Just sign the pre-nup.	1.1852	0.04685	81	67	13	1
5716	He wants custody of the can opener.	1.1852	0.04343	81	66	15	0
5717	He wants his shag fur bed, his favorite bowls, and a lifetime of bacon snacks. Agree or risk his fury.	1.1852	0.05586	81	70	7	4
5718	If you were a dog, would you elect to roll in offal, excrement or compost? Please rank your choices.	1.1852	0.04343	81	66	15	0
5719	My client is simply asking that you stop referring to her with the "B" word.	1.1852	0.04343	81	68	12	1
5720	You've heard of dog years. Well, you're being billed by dog hours.	1.1852	0.04685	81	67	13	1
5721	As Barclay’s representative I must insist this agreement be carried out exactly … including the pet stroller with wifi.	1.1848	0.05110	92	79	9	4
5722	she'll paw-smear as the witness	1.1848	0.05110	92	79	9	4
5723	Here's your severance package.Since we went 100% online no one knows that Fluffy is our customer service rep.	1.1848	0.04352	92	76	15	1
5724	My client is filing for emancipation on grounds of not getting enough belly rubs and head scratches.	1.1848	0.04352	92	76	15	1
5725	She'll take the bed, the leather slippers, the backyard, and all the beef in the freezer. You can have the cat and the vacuum cleaner.	1.1848	0.05110	92	79	9	4
5726	The pre-pip agreement has the blessings of the ABA and the AKC.	1.1848	0.04870	92	78	11	3
5727	We do wish you the best of luck.	1.1848	0.04352	92	76	15	1
5728	This is just your standard prepuptual agreement…	1.1848	0.04619	92	77	13	2
5729	Relax. His bark is worse than his bite.	1.1848	0.04069	92	75	17	0
5730	This is your contract to train Fido.	1.1848	0.04619	92	77	13	2
5731	You agree that forthwith his name is Reginald. You'll receive $6000 a month. And no more Costco kibble. Sign here.	1.1848	0.04352	92	76	15	1
5732	Okay,guess which hand your resignation is under?	1.1848	0.04352	92	76	15	1
5733	My client would like to dissolve the conservatorship	1.1848	0.04352	92	76	15	1
5734	Mr Faulkner, Sparky would like the red ball, the cashmere sweater, the Porsche and to live at the beach house with your first wife, you can keep the cat and the frisbee. Please sign here.	1.1848	0.05110	92	79	9	4
5735	Sign here if you are ready. It is more than just a "walk in a park" responsibility.	1.1848	0.04619	92	77	13	2
5736	It has come to our attention that you have not been taking him on walks or playing with him	1.1848	0.04069	92	75	17	0
5737	And in paragraph 12,we have added the clause	1.1848	0.04352	92	76	15	1
5738	George will be evaluating your Supplemental Essay.	1.1848	0.04870	92	78	11	3
5739	Your being charged with sexual battery.	1.1848	0.04619	92	77	13	2
5740	My client's demands are simple: The Tesla stock, the house in the Hamptons, and Little Bird chew toy.	1.1848	0.04352	92	76	15	1
5741	When we said "bilingual", we meant English and Spanish. I assume he is neither.	1.1846	0.05756	65	55	8	2
5742	Have you read this? You call him your best friend?	1.1846	0.04850	65	53	12	0
5743	He wants his residuals for the dog chow commercial	1.1846	0.06160	65	56	6	3
5744	Bad boy, bad. Next time: scoop.	1.1842	0.05201	76	64	10	2
5745	In order to move forward, my client demands 50% of your socks, too.	1.1842	0.05201	76	64	10	2
5746	We are giving you notice you weren’t able to sit or roll over.	1.1842	0.04852	76	63	12	1
5747	Keep in mind this is just a ruff draft	1.1842	0.04852	76	63	12	1
5748	Mr. Bolton is dogged about getting his new Security Policy accepted, so he’d like you to draw a picture for the President.	1.1842	0.04852	76	63	12	1
5749	Right. Now that the divorce is settled, who gets the wife?	1.1842	0.05201	76	64	10	2
5750	Please list the five reasons you'd like this veterinary school to accept you.	1.1842	0.05201	76	64	10	2
5751	Now it's your turn. In no particular order, please list the top three reasons why you hate cats.	1.1842	0.04852	76	63	12	1
5752	Mr. Rivera, Buddy agrees that you should retain custody of the cat but the house is open to further discussion.	1.1842	0.04852	76	63	12	1
5753	In exchange, we request the couch, the convertible Volkswagen, and the beach property.	1.1842	0.04852	76	63	12	1
5754	Yes, your thumbprint will be sufficient.	1.1842	0.04476	76	62	14	0
5755	Forcing my client to wear that ugly sweater has come back to bite you.	1.1842	0.05201	76	64	10	2
5756	He wants 50% of the bed and all of the balls - plus anything with peanut butter in the house. Sorry, it's a dog eat owner world these days.	1.1842	0.05201	76	64	10	2
5757	You get the house but she’s keeping the Furrari.	1.1842	0.05528	76	65	8	3
5758	And she’ll let you keep the doghouse.	1.1842	0.04852	76	63	12	1
5759	Your dog is requesting a new owner who promises 6 walks a day and gourmet dog food.	1.1842	0.05528	76	65	8	3
5760	Okay,we have a deal,she gets the house and you get the puppies.	1.1842	0.05528	76	65	8	3
5761	« Given our talks have broken down, Buster says he will stay in the City, granting you walking rights twice a month. »	1.1842	0.04476	76	62	14	0
5762	You'll be working together in the posterior aromatics department.	1.1842	0.05201	76	64	10	2
5763	She says that you can keep the house.	1.1839	0.04486	87	72	14	1
5764	You should know, your replacement is happy to 'go on the paper' right near his desk in accordance with our new company policy. Plus, you never once licked my hand.	1.1839	0.05047	87	74	10	3
5765	'He's a ruff ruff negotiator"	1.1839	0.04775	87	73	12	2
5766	YOU GET THE CAR AND THE CAT, HE GETS THE HOUSE	1.1839	0.05047	87	74	10	3
5767	You can have the house but Sparkie wants weekend back yard buried bone visitation rights.	1.1839	0.04178	87	71	16	0
5768	Remember this adoption is for life, and you must have life insurance.	1.1839	0.04486	87	72	14	1
5769	We can easily retrieve your password.	1.1839	0.04775	87	73	12	2
5770	Your signature will grant Rover custody of the family marmoset.	1.1839	0.04775	87	73	12	2
5771	She says your alimony offer is laughable!	1.1839	0.04178	87	71	16	0
5772	I'll sleep with whom I want to.	1.1839	0.04486	87	72	14	1
5773	Yes, Felony is my service dog and as well as our Law Offices' certified Notary Public. Now, may I have your left thumb and your ID please ...	1.1839	0.05047	87	74	10	3
5774	My client would like three treats instead of the two you're offering.	1.1839	0.05047	87	74	10	3
5775	He's asking for sole custody of the house.	1.1839	0.05305	87	75	8	4
5776	Sorry to have to tell you that the dog gets the kennel. You get the sleeping bag.	1.1839	0.04178	87	71	16	0
5777	I'm sorry, the cure to the pandemic was on the ground, so it went to the hound. And that's what the pre-putuals say.	1.1839	0.04178	87	71	16	0
5778	This pre-nup needs to be signed before going forward.	1.1839	0.04775	87	73	12	2
5779	This Non-disclosure Agreement says that if you even tell anyone you worked here anytime in the next sixty years, we have the right to hunt you down and kill you.	1.1839	0.05047	87	74	10	3
5780	Sniffy needs you to start seeing other pets.	1.1839	0.04178	87	71	16	0
5781	Who you have to be and do to get a seat at the table!	1.1839	0.05047	87	74	10	3
5782	Pick the money card	1.1839	0.05047	87	74	10	3
5783	The doggie biscuit is under one of these piles. Guess correctly and you get the promotion.	1.1839	0.04775	87	73	12	2
5784	The prenup is clear.He gets the dog house.	1.1837	0.04435	98	82	14	2
5785	He agrees to the house in the Hamptons and sole access to the Netflix account.	1.1837	0.04435	98	82	14	2
5786	My client's final adoption proposal stipulates a) three meals per day, plus treats after every "Good boy!" b) two walks per day, and c) the big chair by the fireplace is exclusively reserved for "Dog and Playdate Dogs" at all times.	1.1837	0.04191	98	81	16	1
5787	Learn to wag your nose and you'll do well. too.	1.1837	0.04666	98	83	12	3
5788	My client is suing you for emancipation.	1.1837	0.04666	98	83	12	3
5789	My client will take you back when you finish your novel.	1.1837	0.03932	98	80	18	0
5790	I was prepared to offer you the job, but Rufus just didn't get good vibes.	1.1837	0.04886	98	84	10	4
5791	I know you had COVID but so did my dog.	1.1837	0.04435	98	82	14	2
5792	Not “Financial Sheet,” I said “Find our sheep.”	1.1835	0.04729	109	94	10	5
5793	The contract negotiations hinge on what the meaning of year is. My client maintains that 52 days comprise one--not your arbitrary 365.	1.1833	0.05570	60	50	9	1
5794	We’d like to make you a crap offer.	1.1831	0.06121	71	62	5	4
5795	He will not be tied to a short lease, and he certainly won’t accept a bare bones agreement.	1.1831	0.05424	71	60	9	2
5796	You do understand that you are hereby forfeiting all of your parental rights?	1.1831	0.04623	71	58	13	0
5797	. Unfortunately, the neutering is a non-negotiable term in your adoption agreement- Mr. Snugglesworth is firm on that.	1.1831	0.05039	71	59	11	1
5798	Along with a name change,Mr. Poo Poo is seeking only half of his weekly allowance of Kibble,but is insisting on keeping his chalet in the back yard so that he may remain living in the manner to which he is accustomed.	1.1831	0.05783	71	61	7	3
5799	As part of the settlement, can we agree that Mr. Shaggy will be provided with daily hot dogs or hamburgers, a T-bone on Sundays, and be allowed to change his name to something less juvenile?	1.1831	0.05424	71	60	9	2
5800	As the two finalists, there will be a bark-off to determine who is hired for the position.	1.1831	0.04623	71	58	13	0
5801	Alright, two outta three!	1.1831	0.05424	71	60	9	2
5802	Fido is requesting a qualified domestic relations order to authorize a 50-50 split of the 401k and retirement pensions,every other weekend visitation with the kids,and sole ownership of all family tennis balls.	1.1831	0.05039	71	59	11	1
5803	Believe me, his bark is not worse than hit bite	1.1829	0.04633	82	68	13	1
5804	Do you accept the terms of my client’s resignation, or will you provide all concessions, including treats on demand, a water fountain like the cats have, and removal of all “pet cams?”	1.1829	0.05243	82	70	9	3
5805	OK, the dog had some damn good answers, Fred, but now it’s your turn to try to Win the Job!	1.1829	0.04633	82	68	13	1
5806	I'm sorry we find your replacement could you sign your termination papers here	1.1829	0.04947	82	69	11	2
5807	I’ll just need your countersigned copy and the legal separation will be all set.	1.1829	0.04296	82	67	15	0
5808	It’s mutual castration or the deal’s off!	1.1829	0.04947	82	69	11	2
5809	However, in dog years, you're dead.	1.1829	0.04633	82	68	13	1
5810	This is our proposal for your severance package	1.1829	0.05243	82	70	9	3
5811	You'll find my client's suit is all bite, as well as bark.	1.1829	0.04947	82	69	11	2
5812	[It may be too late but I couldn't help submitting a caption for the Dec 6th issue cartoon] "So, your mother was a birch."	1.1829	0.04633	82	68	13	1
5813	My client would like you to walk away. Now.	1.1829	0.04947	82	69	11	2
5814	OK, to get the job, you need to prove to me that you are a VERY good boy.	1.1829	0.04296	82	67	15	0
5815	my client wants it in writing that he can sleep on the sofa on odd-numbered days and roll in the garbage on even-numbered days!	1.1829	0.05522	82	71	7	4
5816	And we demand he gets three walks a day with a treat after each walk	1.1829	0.05522	82	71	7	4
5817	Final offer: every other weekend and on the holidays, and my client Mr. Snuffles gets to pick the location of the walks.	1.1829	0.04633	82	68	13	1
5818	Forthwith, he wishes to be addressed as god.	1.1829	0.04633	82	68	13	1
5819	Make no bones about it, this is a good deal.	1.1829	0.04296	82	67	15	0
5820	while my client acknowledges that there was 'a' turd the dispute remains unsettled so long as the agreement terms it as 'his' turd.	1.1829	0.04947	82	69	11	2
5821	Please sign here. In dog years, he is already 17, so Emancipation is legal.	1.1829	0.05243	82	70	9	3
5822	Here are your divorce papers. The dog will be keeping the apartment. You have the kid.	1.1829	0.04633	82	68	13	1
5823	As agreed by your separation agreement, once you sign here, half your estate goes to your former dog Molly.	1.1829	0.04296	82	67	15	0
5824	“I think you’ll find Rocket’s offer to be fair and generous. He will cover the replacement costs for the sofa and the two pairs of shoes, while you agree to provide three rather than two daily walks in the park.”	1.1828	0.04822	93	79	11	3
5825	And this outlines the arfbitration agreement.	1.1828	0.04310	93	77	15	1
5826	Snickers considers your demand for the aforementioned slippers in the separation agreement exceptionally speciesist.	1.1828	0.04573	93	78	13	2
5827	We need a witness	1.1828	0.04822	93	79	11	3
5828	Here'e your termination letter. Sparky and I feel there's no place in this firm for a cat person.	1.1828	0.04310	93	77	15	1
5829	After you die,he gets to eat all he wants.	1.1828	0.04310	93	77	15	1
5830	I am sure you won't mind signing.. As you can see, his bark is worse than his bite.	1.1828	0.04310	93	77	15	1
5831	You are lucky to come on our " Have your pet interview the candidates day."	1.1828	0.04573	93	78	13	2
5832	Bubbles, let's fire this guy.	1.1828	0.05284	93	81	7	5
5833	He's only asking for visitation rights with the hydrant and hydrangea.	1.1828	0.04822	93	79	11	3
5834	Are you applying for the Chief Canine Officer as well?	1.1827	0.04270	104	87	15	2
5835	My client advises that you can have his house.	1.1827	0.04270	104	87	15	2
5836	He filed a complaint that you never explained to him that you were not really the birth father you lied about.	1.1827	0.04483	104	88	13	3
5837	She insists that you also take notes.	1.1818	0.05139	77	65	10	2
5838	This document gives power of attorney to your dog should you be found unfit to continue giving treats and belly rubs.	1.1818	0.04393	99	83	14	2
5839	I know we're in the middle of a farcical legal agreement between a man and a dog, but can you check out my screenplay? It's about a lawyer who murders clients who waste his time with stupid requests.	1.1818	0.04290	88	75	11	2
5840	Regrettably, you’re not a good boy.	1.1818	0.04795	77	64	12	1
5841	Explain why you deserve to be called a ‘good boy’.	1.1818	0.05249	66	55	10	1
5842	By signing this, both parties are agreeing to two walks (20 minutes minimum) and at least 10 minutes of petting a day, or my client has the right too chew any object of yours without objection, or engage in 20 minutes of nonstop barking.	1.1818	0.04393	99	83	14	2
5843	He’s asking for an annulment.	1.1818	0.04795	77	64	12	1
5844	You need to sign this agreeement promising that you will kiss up to her in the manner to which she is accustomed!"	1.1818	0.04440	88	73	14	1
5845	He's insiting on a pre-pup.	1.1818	0.04725	88	74	12	2
5846	Okay, you've passed the sniff test.	1.1818	0.04424	77	63	14	0
5847	My client says "woof woof grrrr"	1.1818	0.04393	99	83	14	2
5848	I think we should invade Iran.	1.1818	0.05461	77	66	8	3
5849	My client insists on 50% of all royalties received from posting of cute pictures of him in that Christmas sweater.	1.1818	0.05139	77	65	10	2
5850	This covers the power train. Sorry, we’ve never had anyone come in before…	1.1818	0.04440	88	73	14	1
5851	JUST SIGN HERE AND THE DOG HOUSE IS YOURS	1.1818	0.04840	99	85	10	4
5852	The “business wear required” policy does not include pajames.	1.1818	0.05139	77	65	10	2
5853	Yes, your dog is filing for Legal Emancipation.	1.1818	0.05139	77	65	10	2
5854	My client says he will give up drinking from the toilet, but he wants full custody of those Italian loafers you bought with your yearly bonus.	1.1818	0.04795	77	64	12	1
5855	Sign this agreement to train your replacement Fido here, and we'll give you an extra $50	1.1818	0.04622	99	84	12	3
5856	This is our standard pre-pup agreement	1.1818	0.04795	77	64	12	1
5857	Ruffles claims multiple counts of doodie cleanup negligence and resulting dog park vilification.	1.1818	0.04994	88	75	10	3
5858	He wants you to know that if you had offered scraps from your dinner table, he wouldn't be filing for legal emancipation. He is a good boy. afterall.	1.1818	0.04424	77	63	14	0
5859	Under these terms, you can see your wife every other weekend and for two weeks in the summer.	1.1818	0.04795	77	64	12	1
5860	Here is the settlement my client is seeking in exchange for you calling her a bitch.	1.1818	0.05461	77	66	8	3
5861	List your assets, including any bones buried in the garden!	1.1818	0.05139	77	65	10	2
5862	Pithy witticism.	1.1818	0.04795	77	64	12	1
5863	Yes, I suppose you could say it's petimony.	1.1818	0.04424	77	63	14	0
5864	My client insists on keeping the kennel.	1.1818	0.04135	88	72	16	0
5865	We'd like you to clarify what kind of treats my client will get if he sits	1.1818	0.05139	77	65	10	2
5866	I urge you to avoid going to trial; the last jury was rabid.	1.1818	0.04994	88	75	10	3
5867	You're more bark, she's more bite, you're fired!	1.1818	0.03896	99	81	18	0
5868	My client wants to know if you'll honor the prepuptial agreement?	1.1818	0.04795	77	64	12	1
5869	My client is satisfied with the deal but requests a belly rub as a gesture of goodwill.	1.1818	0.04795	77	64	12	1
5870	The Party I am representing would like to know Who's a good boy	1.1818	0.04725	88	74	12	2
5871	Sign here and your dog will become the richest person you know.	1.1818	0.03914	110	91	18	1
5872	She agrees to stop barking at the delivery person if you will stop making internet videos instead of working from home.	1.1818	0.04019	77	64	13	0
5873	Good afternoon sir, I represent the Manhattan Humane Society and therefore Mr. Wags. Wags requires to be walked three times a day in a grassy area, premium dog food served twice daily, and 24/7 access to mineral water. Do you agree to the terms?	1.1818	0.04795	77	64	12	1
5874	One bark and the dog agrees; two barks and you and you go to the dog house and he becomes CEO. No treats for you!	1.1818	0.04424	77	63	14	0
5875	Fido reported you to HR for eating his contract. Do you have any comments on this accusation?	1.1818	0.05139	77	65	10	2
5876	He’s willing to let you keep the house if you agree to still take him out for poo-poo and pee-pee.	1.1818	0.04135	88	72	16	0
5877	He wants to see other people but still get treats.	1.1818	0.04135	88	72	16	0
5878	I'm sorry, sir, but walkies are a non-negotiable.	1.1818	0.04795	77	64	12	1
5879	All he wants are survivor rights to the house.	1.1818	0.04795	77	64	12	1
5880	This is Mrs. Fido's final offer.	1.1818	0.04725	88	74	12	2
5881	My client thinks these terms are reasonable: you keep the house, he keeps the wife	1.1818	0.04795	77	64	12	1
5882	... and at least one 30-minute walk every day, non-negotiable.	1.1818	0.04152	99	82	16	1
5883	Shakes offers you the second best bed	1.1818	0.04795	77	64	12	1
5884	Finally, as part of the settlement, you agree to only ever call him a "good boy".	1.1818	0.04424	77	63	14	0
5885	And Sparky insists you acknowledge he is no longer your best friend	1.1818	0.04795	77	64	12	1
5886	On behalf of my client, I would advise you to settle for the dog house.	1.1818	0.05249	66	55	10	1
5887	We found some who will work for less.	1.1818	0.05461	77	66	8	3
5888	And this is the one where you agree to binding arfitration.	1.1818	0.04440	88	73	14	1
5889	Sorry Coop,I will get you back as soon as I pay off this loan.	1.1818	0.05249	88	76	8	4
5890	And this here states you will bequeath all your bones to Ruffus	1.1818	0.04440	88	73	14	1
5891	You agree to each have custody of Mrs. Smith on a week-on, week-off schedule, correct?	1.1818	0.04994	88	75	10	3
5892	And one more thing - you agree never to ask him to fetch anything.	1.1818	0.05461	77	66	8	3
5893	Please sign after "bad boy, bad boy, bad boy"	1.1809	0.03991	94	77	17	0
5894	Your dog is being generous, Bill. He isn't demanding as much as he could. Just a comfortable settlement is all he wants..and a lifetime of Milk Bones	1.1809	0.04268	94	78	15	1
5895	He wants his doghouse back.	1.1809	0.04528	94	79	13	2
5896	Now watch closely Rover, 'cause I don't think this guy's got what it takes.	1.1809	0.04268	94	78	15	1
5897	We have a lot of investments in tennis ball companies. Because of him, they have a high return rate.	1.1809	0.04528	94	79	13	2
5898	No need to worry, it's just a standard prenup.	1.1809	0.04268	94	78	15	1
5899	Listen sir, at the request of your dog for lack of kibble, please sign the divorce papers.	1.1809	0.04528	94	79	13	2
5900	he says that's for keeping him on a leash	1.1809	0.04528	94	79	13	2
5901	We're suing you for slander. We can prove to a judge that he is, in fact, a 'great' boy.	1.1809	0.05008	94	81	9	4
5902	My client keeps full custody of you.	1.1809	0.04528	94	79	13	2
5903	This will get you out of the dog house.	1.1807	0.04892	83	70	11	2
5904	Unfortunately, our new CEO will cut the political inclusion.	1.1807	0.04892	83	70	11	2
5905	She wants the beach house, you keep the brownstone.	1.1807	0.04249	83	68	15	0
5906	Unusual claws, I know. But Rex is an unusual investor.	1.1807	0.04582	83	69	13	1
5907	Under the terms of this separation, my client gets the bed, the couch, and the easy chair.	1.1807	0.05184	83	71	9	3
5908	The dog house in Boca is non-negotiable.	1.1807	0.04249	83	68	15	0
5909	Our health insurance company insists on using Fido to detect possible cancers in all our applicants before hiring.	1.1807	0.05184	83	71	9	3
5910	He says you can have the leashes. He wants the cat.	1.1807	0.04249	83	68	15	0
5911	Jack, I give you a week to figure out his commands.	1.1807	0.04892	83	70	11	2
5912	Rover, as our Chief Executive Dog, wants us to work together on this project.	1.1807	0.05184	83	71	9	3
5913	It's a "pre-puptual" agreement. Simply sign and initial.	1.1807	0.05184	83	71	9	3
5914	Well he’s the Dog of Wall Street.	1.1807	0.04892	83	70	11	2
5915	Pick a contract, any contract	1.1806	0.04975	72	60	11	1
5916	My client is entitled to his ball, so I think that you should drop it.	1.1806	0.04975	72	60	11	1
5917	So, this is a tentative job offer but it was a toughie between you and fido here. You both get the job except you report to him.	1.1806	0.04975	72	60	11	1
5918	Rudolph wants visiting rights with Molly the family cat	1.1806	0.05708	72	62	7	3
5919	Who gets custody?	1.1806	0.04975	72	60	11	1
5920	And Rex will retain his favorite food dish, any remaining bully sticks, and Mr. Squeaky.	1.1806	0.05354	72	61	9	2
5921	I'll give you 10% over what you asked for including this dog if you take this job and stay at work at least through all the covid variants. Sign here.	1.1806	0.04565	72	59	13	0
5922	We'll just need your signature on this non-enclosure agreement.	1.1806	0.05354	72	61	9	2
5923	He likes to walk at 6:00 a.m. Are you good with that?	1.1803	0.04963	61	50	11	0
5924	Do you promise he can sit on the couch?	1.1803	0.05964	61	52	7	2
5925	I'm sorry, Frank, but Fluffy doesn't think you're upper management material and we have to let you walk.	1.1803	0.05964	61	52	7	2
5926	He claims that you're never there, so he's claiming the residence.	1.1800	0.04579	100	85	12	3
5927	Do not mistake my client’s wagging tail for ambivalence about the dissolution of this relationship.	1.1800	0.04579	100	85	12	3
5928	He insists that the puppy prenup includes a field for running, sleeping on your bed, and unlimited treats. Take it or leave it!	1.1800	0.04353	100	84	14	2
5929	In this proceeding, Fido will agree to disclose all of his assets including where he buried any dog bones.	1.1800	0.04579	100	85	12	3
5930	Rex wants to know if you're comfortable working on commission.	1.1800	0.04579	100	85	12	3
5931	To conclude your divorce sign here – so, Charlie will get the house, the car and the sole custody for your children.	1.1800	0.04353	100	84	14	2
5932	Initial here to stipulate that my client is "a good boy."	1.1798	0.04941	89	76	10	3
5933	He's insisting on a pre-puptial agreement before the adoption	1.1798	0.04093	89	73	16	0
5934	In the final settlement, he gets the yard, his bowl, the squeeky bone toy, and never to be told "Who's a good boy?" again.	1.1798	0.04676	89	75	12	2
5935	My client is looking for 2 days off a week, and a squeaky toy bonus based on the number of accidents he doesn't have.	1.1798	0.04093	89	73	16	0
5936	As for the tree branch: you’ll have shared custody.	1.1798	0.03595	89	74	15	0
5937	No, you're wrong. A dog CAN be a witness. They just can't offer an opinion as to the validity of the document. So please sign it.	1.1798	0.04676	89	75	12	2
5938	A less dogmatic response to his ruff draft would be greatly appreciated.	1.1798	0.05434	89	78	6	5
5939	He’ll waive his visitation rights for Chewy the Hedgehog in exchange for total control of the Instagram.	1.1798	0.04394	89	74	14	1
5940	Your co-worker has filed a complaint that you don't walk him enough.	1.1798	0.05193	89	77	8	4
5941	I know it's a doggie dog world, but we need you to fill out the resume again.	1.1798	0.04676	89	75	12	2
5942	She will get the condo, and you'll be - pardon the pun- in the doghouse.	1.1798	0.04676	89	75	12	2
5943	Shign here, Mishter. You'll vacate the premishes an he'll ashume the leash!!	1.1798	0.04676	89	75	12	2
5944	Good job! Now see if you can get him to speak.	1.1798	0.04394	89	74	14	1
5945	My client stipulates that this is a one-time, non-negotiable offer.	1.1798	0.04941	89	76	10	3
5946	He wants more chicken and beef; less kibble. It’s his bottom line.	1.1798	0.04941	89	76	10	3
5947	For the candidate presenting dog treat commercial,we needed to have Rufus present while you speak. If he barks happily, you’re in. He’s ruthless but insightful - Very simple! J. Kinsey Toronto, ONT Kinseyjody33@gmail.com	1.1798	0.04676	89	75	12	2
5948	You can keep the canister. He gets the cookies.	1.1798	0.04676	89	75	12	2
5949	I can assure you, he has the proper license.	1.1798	0.04941	89	76	10	3
5950	You should have been more careful selecting 'Legal Heir' on your phone and then calling 'Here Boy.'	1.1798	0.04394	89	74	14	1
5951	My client wants you to know this is just a ruff draft.	1.1798	0.04676	89	75	12	2
5952	Furthermore, Use of "Who's a Good Boy?" shall be forbidden unless followed by inclusion of his given name, and/or a treat at the time and place of his choosing.	1.1798	0.04676	89	75	12	2
5953	You can keep the dog house and the leash, he'll take the main house and the car.	1.1798	0.04941	89	76	10	3
5954	I'm sorry but you're fired, I warned you... no dogs in the building.	1.1798	0.04676	89	75	12	2
5955	Please prove to me that you can write better than the dog "Sorry I'm drawn to not have hands"	1.1798	0.04676	89	75	12	2
5956	So by signing this statement,you fully agree not to chase,sniff,lick,or jump on any of your coworkers during your employment!	1.1795	0.04739	78	65	12	1
5957	You understand that by signing this NDA, Not Dog Agreement, you and Fido are leashed together forever…	1.1795	0.05078	78	66	10	2
5958	The law says a dog is a man's best friend, are you prepared to tell a jury this how to feed your best friend?	1.1795	0.05981	78	69	4	5
5959	One of these things is not like the other.	1.1795	0.05078	78	66	10	2
5960	He needs written proof of your love.	1.1795	0.05396	78	67	8	3
5961	This pre-adoption is pretty straight forward. Just bark once for yes and twice for no	1.1795	0.04373	78	64	14	0
5962	You seem qualified- but the dog didn't wag its tail, so sorry!	1.1795	0.04739	78	65	12	1
5963	Unfortunately for you, eyewitness testimony confirms MY client's account that YOU in fact, bit HIM.	1.1795	0.05078	78	66	10	2
5964	You heard my client say, "Woof" just as I did. That's his final offer.	1.1795	0.05396	78	67	8	3
5965	Fido gets the dog house at the beach according to the pre-pup.	1.1795	0.04739	78	65	12	1
5966	She wants access to the apartment, sole custody of the pups and lifelong alpomony.	1.1795	0.04739	78	65	12	1
5967	We've narrowed it down to two candidates. Now tell us in 25 woofs or less why you want this job.	1.1795	0.05396	78	67	8	3
5968	This makes it clear: it IS my client	1.1792	0.04405	106	90	13	3
5969	This is my client's final offer for you to divulge who is, in fact, a good boy.	1.1791	0.05177	67	56	10	1
5970	Eeny, meeny, miny, mo which annual budget is a go?	1.1791	0.05177	67	56	10	1
5971	Bad news, your dog wants a divorce. Good news, you get to keep the cat.	1.1789	0.04484	95	80	13	2
5972	This just states that Rufus is not responsible for footwear,furniture or rug/carpet damage.	1.1789	0.05180	95	83	7	5
5973	I'm sorry but he's staying with your ex.....just sign these papers....	1.1789	0.04728	95	81	11	3
5974	Before my client agrees to the adoption, he proposes the following terms regarding treats, playtime and tummy rubs.	1.1789	0.03659	95	79	16	0
5975	Sign here under "I will NEVER again adopt a "pandemic-puppy".	1.1789	0.04484	95	80	13	2
5976	Now watch carefully as I shuffle these offers	1.1789	0.04728	95	81	11	3
5977	All my client is asking is that he gets called “good boy” at least 5 times a day, chicken for every meal, and the lower left corner of your bed.	1.1786	0.04532	84	70	13	1
5978	Apparently you shown that you aren't the person your dog thinks you are.	1.1786	0.04532	84	70	13	1
5979	Here, you can have fun drawing while fred reads the contract	1.1786	0.05126	84	72	9	3
5980	Sorry, Mr. Johnson, your PhD from MIT is very impressive, but our HR testing indicates that Fido here will be forever faithful to the company.	1.1786	0.04532	84	70	13	1
5981	A Or b	1.1786	0.04532	84	70	13	1
5982	To separate yourself from the competition, be a good boy, and tell us why....	1.1786	0.04532	84	70	13	1
5983	You may find this hard to believe,but my dog would really like to trade signatures with you	1.1786	0.04532	84	70	13	1
5984	Please sign this statement clarifying that my client only began to hump your leg after you called him a good boy and rubbed his belly.	1.1786	0.04532	84	70	13	1
5985	You get the house, he gets the doghouse and all the bones	1.1786	0.04532	84	70	13	1
5986	You can keep your list of requirements as you’ve failed Thomas’ sniff test.	1.1786	0.04838	84	71	11	2
5987	If you don’t accept this offer, we could go to trial. The court will not be ready to accept that you were sneaking out at night to visit that promiscuous collie.	1.1786	0.04838	84	71	11	2
5988	Mr.Bowser is absolutely requiring that you sign a N.D.A.	1.1786	0.04532	84	70	13	1
5989	He would like to offer you a signing “BONE-US”	1.1786	0.04532	84	70	13	1
5990	As part of the divorce settlement she gets to keep the bones.	1.1786	0.04532	84	70	13	1
5991	This is our last arf-fer.	1.1786	0.04532	84	70	13	1
5992	Just sign this blank sheet and we’ll send you the terms you agreed to.	1.1786	0.04532	84	70	13	1
5993	Congratulations, you got the job. Fill in your measurements and we’ll make up your suit.	1.1786	0.04532	84	70	13	1
5994	Fido and I think that we have crafted a pre pup that is fair and equitable.	1.1786	0.05126	84	72	9	3
5995	This makes her emancipation final. From now on, Mitzy scoops her own.	1.1782	0.03827	101	83	18	0
5996	The leash is yours, but we insist on full custody of the tennis ball.	1.1781	0.04913	73	61	11	1
5997	Fluffy insists that he maintain custody of the cat	1.1781	0.05286	73	62	9	2
5998	I am afraid I have to offer the job to Miki, my dog. He has more gravitas	1.1781	0.04913	73	61	11	1
5999	Before my client agrees to his adoption, he would like a belly rub to get to know you better.	1.1781	0.05103	73	64	6	3
6000	Now George you will feed and walk Fido. Now Fido you will not mess in the apartment, and will et George walk with you.	1.1781	0.04509	73	60	13	0
6001	She insists on having full custody of the great jar.	1.1781	0.04509	73	60	13	0
6002	No divorce until you sign over the dog biscuit factory.	1.1781	0.04913	73	61	11	1
6003	Sorry, sir. A name change to "Fido" is hardly species neutral.	1.1781	0.04509	73	60	13	0
6004	Mr. Wags will agree to take the girlfriend, but you keep the cat.	1.1781	0.04509	73	60	13	0
6005	Your turn to sign.	1.1781	0.04913	73	61	11	1
6006	If you just sign here, you agree that you are no longer the conservator of Max's estate.	1.1781	0.05286	73	62	9	2
6007	With Rex's pending retirement, the Best Friend position is becoming available.	1.1781	0.04913	73	61	11	1
6008	We're wanting some divorce papers, he's really holding me back.	1.1781	0.05634	73	63	7	3
6009	Because he can.	1.1778	0.04628	90	76	12	2
6010	Just sign this and the house is officially yours.	1.1778	0.04053	90	74	16	0
6011	My client is glad we were able to agree to terms on his care and feeding moving forward. Now, please sign or as you would say, "make poopies for daddy, baby"	1.1778	0.04628	90	76	12	2
6012	And you will promise conjugal visits once per month	1.1778	0.05139	90	78	8	4
6013	We have got a better fit.	1.1778	0.04053	90	74	16	0
6014	We are being Very careful about pet adoptions these days.	1.1778	0.04890	90	77	10	3
6015	This is his best & final offer.	1.1778	0.04628	90	76	12	2
6016	Finally, you can have weekly visitations, but Fido gets custody of the cats.	1.1778	0.04350	90	75	14	1
6017	You must understand that, as your dad's heir of his billions, when Rusty stipulates you'll wear a butler's uniform at all times when walking and feeding him and picking up his poop in the yard, you need to do that or lose your 25K yearly income.	1.1778	0.05139	90	78	8	4
6018	We will just need your paw print for our records.	1.1778	0.04053	90	74	16	0
6019	The agreement includes shared sutody of the puppies.	1.1778	0.04628	90	76	12	2
6020	My client is willing to drop the suit if you will cease and desist from asking, "Who's a good boy?"	1.1778	0.04053	90	74	16	0
6021	Roll over and let me rub your belly if these terms are acceptable.	1.1778	0.04350	90	75	14	1
6022	Yes, you really are in the doghouse.The divorce settlement clearly specifies that you and Taffy must exchange houses.	1.1778	0.04350	90	75	14	1
6023	Snausages are non negotiable.”	1.1778	0.04890	90	77	10	3
6024	She opted for a surrogate.	1.1776	0.04367	107	91	13	3
6025	He wants a farm upstate and two bowls of Kibbles a day.	1.1774	0.05405	62	52	9	1
6026	Okay, I'll sign the agreement. But he has to sign first.	1.1772	0.04684	79	66	12	1
6027	So, ipso facto - I think you'll find that you can't blame it on the dog.	1.1772	0.04684	79	66	12	1
6028	She wants a divorce. You can have all the money if she gets all the treats and squeeze toys. You can keep the leash!	1.1772	0.04324	79	65	14	0
6029	You get the Mercedes, but she's keeping the doghouse.	1.1772	0.04324	79	65	14	0
6030	My client requests you sign this NDA adhering the parties to the confidentiality and nondisclosure of individual bathing habits including frequency, techniques, and other autonomous habitual actions pertaining to the same.	1.1772	0.05018	79	67	10	2
6031	As with any adoption, you will need to put your paw print on the agreement.	1.1772	0.05332	79	68	8	3
6032	So Teddy here gets the cat and your wife and you get out of the doghouse.	1.1772	0.04684	79	66	12	1
6033	You don't qualify as a "best friend" ... I'm sorry.	1.1772	0.04684	79	66	12	1
6034	My client is demanding the couch, the foot of the bed, that can thingy in the garage, and full access to any and all buried objects buried in the back yard”	1.1772	0.05332	79	68	8	3
6035	I’m sorry Greg. Attempting to pay Rufus’ bonus in dog treats is an act of discrimination. We’re just going to have to let you go.	1.1772	0.05018	79	67	10	2
6036	You must each sign a copy of the Pre-Puptual agreement.	1.1772	0.05332	79	68	8	3
6037	This is your chance to accept or contest his performance review of you.	1.1772	0.04684	79	66	12	1
6038	Arbitration is never easy	1.1772	0.05332	79	68	8	3
6039	Just sign the NDA - his poop spots are personal.	1.1772	0.04684	79	66	12	1
6040	You can't use your thumbs.	1.1772	0.05018	79	67	10	2
6041	Tell me why you would be the best we could hire for this job. You can either write or bark your answer, whichever would be the most persuasive.	1.1772	0.05018	79	67	10	2
6042	My client is suing you first degree assault and battery. He claims you have neutered him without his consent.	1.1771	0.04187	96	80	15	1
6043	My client insists you will roll over.	1.1771	0.04682	96	82	11	3
6044	He was your best friend. Of course there's palimony!	1.1771	0.04682	96	82	11	3
6045	Facing the flagrant extortion of the soul.	1.1771	0.04682	96	82	11	3
6046	He says the walkies are a red line.	1.1771	0.04187	96	82	12	2
6047	Your dog is asking for a divorce. Until this is finalized, you are responsible for his attorney fees	1.1771	0.03917	96	79	17	0
6048	If you'll just sign this prepuptial as agreed,your union will be legal.	1.1770	0.03819	113	94	18	1
6049	Daisy gets to keep the toilet.	1.1765	0.05520	68	58	8	2
6050	Ok,now you list three reasons why he should get spayed.	1.1765	0.04484	85	71	13	1
6051	I’m sorry Jones I have to let you go as we found hounds are more efficient!	1.1765	0.05520	68	58	8	2
6052	Thank you, Mr. Jones. Fido will be in touch with you after we have made a decision.	1.1765	0.04484	85	71	13	1
6053	Sign here to acknowledge and agree that you, also, will accept my arbitration decision as final in this litigation.	1.1765	0.05070	85	73	9	3
6054	Please step out for a moment . We will call you back in when we have reached a decision.	1.1765	0.04484	85	71	13	1
6055	My client has made a generous offer. He will take the house and you may take the car.	1.1765	0.04786	85	72	11	2
6056	Sam, we're glad you've accepted our offer to be head chef at our pet food company. Please meet Fido, our chief taste tester.	1.1765	0.04275	102	86	14	2
6057	He wants the house.	1.1765	0.04786	85	72	11	2
6058	Fido decided to share the home with you.	1.1765	0.04786	85	72	11	2
6059	One woof means you better sign or else. Two woofs mean he wants lunch.	1.1765	0.04484	85	71	13	1
6060	As was stipulated on prenup,she will get seven years of your savings for each year you receive distribution. And stop calling her that B word.	1.1765	0.04786	85	72	11	2
6061	Sign here Bob, and meet your replacement Millie	1.1765	0.04786	85	72	11	2
6062	She wants the house and full time custody of the children.	1.1765	0.05070	85	73	9	3
6063	I'm his assigned interpreter	1.1765	0.04159	85	70	15	0
6064	Clifford will get the vacation house and pool. You can keep your retirement account and, of course, the cat.	1.1765	0.04159	85	70	15	0
6065	The thing about this finder’s fee is that my client is maintaining that HE found YOU.	1.1765	0.04484	85	71	13	1
6066	So it's agreed: The party of the first part shall not order the party of the second part to go potty.	1.1765	0.04484	85	71	13	1
6067	My client would like to renegotiate his feeding schedule.	1.1765	0.04657	68	56	12	0
6068	Write down your vision for our company. And no shaggy dog stories.	1.1765	0.03894	119	100	17	2
6069	The Power of the Dog	1.1765	0.03919	102	87	13	2
6070	You must promise to walk Hamish, feed him, vet him, shelter him and love him the rest of his life. Then you may adopt him.	1.1765	0.03793	102	84	18	0
6071	He's been trained to smell out bs in these documents.	1.1765	0.05107	68	57	10	1
6072	Sign this and we will double your salary if you show up to work in person.	1.1765	0.05520	68	58	8	2
6073	As you can see here,my client is offering a very reasonable 10 treats per day. For a good boy such as this, you won’t get a better offer. He’s prepared for you to walk him out if you won’t agree to these terms.	1.1765	0.05070	85	73	9	3
6074	Fifi's counteroffer is that you get the crate and she gets the condo.	1.1765	0.04484	85	71	13	1
6075	Fido appreciates your offer, but he feels that his loyalty is worth more than "three hots and a cot."	1.1759	0.03909	108	90	17	1
6076	As for the prenup…	1.1758	0.04581	91	77	12	2
6077	It's all here in paw and ink.	1.1758	0.04306	91	76	14	1
6078	The conjugal visits, with Fifi, are nonnegotiable.	1.1758	0.04581	91	77	12	2
6079	So, I will shuffle these three contracts and then you must choose the one that describes how many walks per day my client will accept.	1.1758	0.04581	91	77	12	2
6080	The rental agreement states that cats are not allowed	1.1758	0.04306	91	76	14	1
6081	Sorry, Mr. Smith, your rival applicant has more animal spirits.	1.1758	0.04306	91	76	14	1
6082	In this paragraph here,you acknowledge that he	1.1758	0.03527	91	76	15	0
6083	My client would like assurances that you will henceforth feed him only gluten-free food.	1.1758	0.04306	91	76	14	1
6084	And this document covers the terms of Rover’s superior rights to all beds and couches in the home.	1.1758	0.04013	91	75	16	0
6085	He would also like back half the poop you have collected over the span of your relationship	1.1758	0.05086	91	79	8	4
6086	He wants full custody of the cat.	1.1758	0.04306	91	76	14	1
6087	I thought I’d gather you, your dog, and your uneaten homework for a little chat.	1.1758	0.04840	91	78	10	3
6088	It's no different than a prenuptial agreement.	1.1758	0.04581	91	77	12	2
6089	I am not sorry that loyalty has won over competence. Nevertheless, I am giving you a coupon for a discount on steak knives.	1.1758	0.04581	91	77	12	2
6090	He says, "Rough."	1.1758	0.04306	91	76	14	1
6091	The bitch insists on signing the divorce papers.	1.1757	0.05219	74	63	9	2
6092	It’s a pre-pup. You know. Like a pre-nup but with dogs. I’ve already submitted the copyright on the name. Anyway, he wants you to sign it.”	1.1757	0.05219	74	63	9	2
6093	As you can see in this ‘Knick-Knack Paddywhack’ agreement, my client is owed one bone.	1.1757	0.05563	74	64	7	3
6094	You can keep the house if he gets the tennis balls.	1.1757	0.04454	74	61	13	0
6095	Your proposal does not meet his expectations.	1.1757	0.04852	74	62	11	1
6096	I'm sorry, she insists you're in the doghouse.	1.1757	0.05219	74	63	9	2
6097	He’s still a minor, dog years don’t count. You have to sign for him.	1.1757	0.04454	74	61	13	0
6098	You get the house, he gets the car.	1.1757	0.04852	74	62	11	1
6099	Thank you for your service but working from home has enabled your dog to assume your responsibilities from now on!	1.1757	0.04852	74	62	11	1
6100	I know it's rather dry, but Rex has quite the nose for details.	1.1757	0.05563	74	64	7	3
6101	Eric, he says your performance this year was, and I quote, “Ruff”.	1.1757	0.04852	74	62	11	1
6102	So your job is to protect our client, his name is Harry" the man in the black sui	1.1754	0.04178	114	97	14	3
6103	My client insists that all offers are multiplied by seven.	1.1753	0.04399	97	82	13	2
6104	You'll see here that my client is entitled to two walks a day	1.1753	0.03880	97	80	17	0
6105	Now which one has the pea?	1.1753	0.04399	97	82	13	2
6106	For an extra treat, he'll drop his claims against the neighbor's cat.	1.1753	0.04148	97	81	15	1
6107	You'll be working like a dog....	1.1753	0.03880	97	80	17	0
6108	Don't worry. When Doggo is on holiday you'll get the best kennel b &b.	1.1753	0.04148	97	81	15	1
6109	She just wants what is best for the family.	1.1753	0.04148	97	81	15	1
6110	Obviously,the job duties are self explanatory.	1.1753	0.04148	97	81	15	1
6111	He told me to tell you he's moved from Support to Management.	1.1750	0.04960	80	68	10	2
6112	With the current labor market conditions you no longer need to dress in business attire, you may be accompanied by Fido here, but I am sorry we cannot accommodate your pet pig at this time"	1.1750	0.04630	80	67	12	1
6113	The dog house is yours. The main house is mine. Take it or leave it. You have behaved unconscionably. The Purina cans were the last straw.	1.1750	0.04630	80	67	12	1
6114	His demands are simple. He would like the dog house and a daily doggy bag.	1.1750	0.05270	80	69	8	3
6115	I missed my interview helping a starving dog on the street but got a call back the next day. The dog was my interviewer	1.1750	0.04960	80	68	10	2
6116	Fluffy is requesting $400 a month in kibble, her favorite chew toy and your bed.	1.1750	0.04630	80	67	12	1
6117	Pet? Mr. Woofington is Hairman of the Board.	1.1750	0.05562	80	70	6	4
6118	Look, just—just go along with it, ok? My boss is trying to make “doggy lawyer day” a thing and, well, I’m trying to make partner. So, just pretend Mr. Floofy drafted the contract, say “thank you, Mr. Floofy,” and, boom, your divorce is finalized.	1.1750	0.04960	80	68	10	2
6119	this is the offer converted to Milkbones	1.1750	0.04630	80	67	12	1
6120	See Spot Run," may have seemed acceptable then but this is a matter of rights and respect	1.1750	0.04630	80	67	12	1
6121	My client says the twice daily treats is non-negotiable	1.1750	0.04960	80	68	10	2
6122	Write your entry for my new dog's name. If it's selected you may keep your job.	1.1750	0.04630	80	67	12	1
6123	My client insists on more options than “or get off the pot”.	1.1750	0.04960	80	68	10	2
6124	Yes, Tom, Baxter must show proof of COVID vaccination.	1.1750	0.04960	80	68	10	2
6125	Sorry, Brucie doesn't like your ruff draft.	1.1750	0.04630	80	67	12	1
6126	Well…. If you factor in dog years, you’re overpaid	1.1750	0.04960	80	68	10	2
6127	Please fill out this application for adoption by Loki The Dog.	1.1750	0.04630	80	67	12	1
6128	Sometimes negotiating a prepuptial can be stressful.	1.1750	0.04960	80	68	10	2
6129	The last thing my client will from you is for you to sign his name." -- Gideon Halpe	1.1750	0.04960	80	68	10	2
6130	Rolf caught you eating his taco for your lunch. He wants you to sign an IOU.	1.1750	0.04960	80	68	10	2
6131	A daily walk or she enters the transfer portal	1.1750	0.04960	80	68	10	2
6132	You'll see here that as stipulated under the 'good girl' clause, my client is entitled to your right sneaker .	1.1750	0.04275	80	66	14	0
6133	My client has written your proposed salary on this napkin. Please don't be surprised when it is a paw print.	1.1750	0.04630	80	67	12	1
6134	Scruffles doesn't need to sign a loyalty pledge. You do.	1.1750	0.05270	80	69	8	3
6135	My client has agreed to not chew this up.	1.1750	0.05270	80	69	8	3
6136	stop passing food under the table	1.1750	0.04630	80	67	12	1
6137	This is the number for him to perform 'roll-over.'	1.1750	0.04630	80	67	12	1
6138	You get balls. He get shoes.	1.1750	0.04275	80	66	14	0
6139	Our consultant informs us your qualifications are 'rough.'	1.1748	0.04005	103	86	16	1
6140	She wants you to agree to daily walks and treats, too.	1.1744	0.04116	86	71	15	0
6141	The dog has already signed. If you don’t he will keep all the money.	1.1744	0.05015	86	74	9	3
6142	Pooch or penthouse?	1.1744	0.04436	86	72	13	1
6143	Fluffy wants the slippers, bed and food bowl. The cat is yours.	1.1744	0.04734	86	73	11	2
6144	Ruff's is proposing that in exchange for an extra bedtime snack that he will forego an afternoon belly rub.	1.1744	0.04116	86	71	15	0
6145	Try your luck. I’ll move them around like this. You find the one that has your raise!	1.1744	0.04734	86	73	11	2
6146	She gets the house. You get the doghouse. Just sign here.	1.1744	0.04116	86	71	15	0
6147	In three sentences,please state why you should be Trixie’s trainer. She will select the winning essay.	1.1744	0.04436	86	72	13	1
6148	His demands are simple. You must apologize for unfairly blaming him for the smell and compensation in the form total support for the rest of his life.	1.1744	0.04734	86	73	11	2
6149	Her toys, her bowl, kibble delivered by walker and you live outside.	1.1744	0.04436	86	72	13	1
6150	Here is your tex refund for staying with your puppy during Covid Quarantine Period	1.1744	0.04116	86	71	15	0
6151	Slider is okay with you keeping the car and house, but the tennis balls and blankie are non-starters	1.1744	0.04436	86	72	13	1
6152	True, Baxter once wanted you home all day. But now he'd like to dissolve the partnership.	1.1744	0.04116	86	71	15	0
6153	Well this time Daisy from HR will be walking YOU out of the building.	1.1744	0.04436	86	72	13	1
6154	My client is citing irreconcilable differences.	1.1744	0.05015	86	74	9	3
6155	I'm sorry but Mr.Doodles here just doesn't think you have what it takes.	1.1744	0.04436	86	72	13	1
6156	He already signed. Your turn.	1.1744	0.04734	86	73	11	2
6157	Now I'll need a writing sample from you, Sir. There's a good boy.	1.1744	0.04734	86	73	11	2
6158	My client rejects your Barkcoin settlement offer and all like crytocurrency assets.	1.1743	0.03876	109	91	17	1
6159	It's a role playing exercise. He gets the pencil. You get to chew."	1.1739	0.05034	92	80	8	4
6160	For the essay part of the test, discuss the unique qualities of poodle scent.	1.1739	0.05034	92	80	8	4
6161	Petey has already signed...so, if you'll just put your pawprint here, this unfortunate incident will be settled.	1.1739	0.05445	69	59	8	2
6162	Please sign, as the dog can't.	1.1739	0.04535	92	78	12	2
6163	The last part of your job application requires you to write “I will not wear untucked shirts “ 50 times.	1.1739	0.05034	92	80	8	4
6164	With his new PhD in Resource Management, Mr. Whiskers intends to renegotiate his belly-rub, squirrel chase, and treat schedules.	1.1739	0.04791	92	79	10	3
6165	My client demands that the bully stick of the month subscription continue in perpetuity.	1.1739	0.05039	69	58	10	1
6166	Time available is a function of distance from bite to brain.	1.1739	0.04263	92	77	14	1
6167	Sorry, we are a “ Equal Opportunist Employer”.	1.1739	0.04263	92	77	14	1
6168	We think you'll find the terms of the settlement fair. My client is asking only for that dress shoe she loves to chew on.	1.1739	0.04263	92	77	14	1
6169	When you get smacked in the face with a dick on purpose can be hot. When you get smacked in the face with a dick on accident it's hilarious	1.1739	0.04791	92	79	10	3
6170	I have co-signed Mr Muffin’s X, and he welcomes you to shake on it.	1.1739	0.05034	92	80	8	4
6171	''The dog will be requesting this much of your monthly salary in the separation.''	1.1739	0.04535	92	78	12	2
6172	She gets full custody of your wife and kids...	1.1739	0.04596	69	57	12	0
6173	In my role as the attorney representing your comfort dog, we are claiming breach of the "restricted adjectives" clause in his adoption contract, due to your repeatedly shouting, "Bad Dog!" when he chewed your shoes.	1.1739	0.05034	92	80	8	4
6174	He wants custody of the chew toys, the couch, and the cat.	1.1739	0.04535	92	78	12	2
6175	Please initial after "Who's a good boy?"	1.1739	0.05034	92	80	8	4
6176	Then we’re agreed! He wants it in writing.	1.1739	0.03973	92	76	16	0
6177	We're asking you to sign. A handprint will do.	1.1739	0.03973	92	76	16	0
6178	Rover would like to keep the house.	1.1739	0.05034	92	80	8	4
6179	She insists the prenup includes three walks a day.	1.1735	0.04358	98	83	13	2
6180	She hopes you will understand that boundaries must be explicit for both of us from the outset of this relationship.	1.1735	0.04358	98	83	13	2
6181	As there’s agreement to all provisions of the prenup, we will need your signature, Mr Smith and your paw print, Barkley.	1.1735	0.04816	98	85	9	4
6182	We'll be needing proof of any and all vaccines you've had in the last three years.	1.1735	0.04358	98	83	13	2
6183	It's your standard non-dogsclosure agreement.	1.1735	0.04109	98	82	15	1
6184	Failure to convey adequate tummy rubs.	1.1735	0.03845	98	81	17	0
6185	This contract guarantees that over the term of your relationship that my client has a leg up!	1.1735	0.04593	98	84	11	3
6186	Forget squeaks. He wants crypto-kibble.	1.1733	0.04792	75	63	11	1
6187	As we discussed earlier, you will be paid upon your return with Ms. Pembutton and tipped according to her suggestions. Now, right after you sign the non-disclosure agreement, you may take her outside for the afternoon walk.	1.1733	0.04792	75	63	11	1
6188	She wants full custody because she says you have no idea how to care for a tennis ball.	1.1733	0.04792	75	63	11	1
6189	What’s that? He looks like what now? Oh, I get what you’re going for. Men are dogs. Good one, I get it. Now could you just sign the divorce papers, please?	1.1733	0.04792	75	63	11	1
6190	Here’s our proposal: you give him unfettered access to the treats cabinet, and he’ll call off the dogs.	1.1733	0.05155	75	64	9	2
6191	I see from your CV that you don't own a tie.	1.1733	0.04792	75	63	11	1
6192	The adoption is complete. Rover will take you home to his family.	1.1733	0.05155	75	64	9	2
6193	This is a rough offer.	1.1733	0.04792	75	63	11	1
6194	I know I promised you a pardon but our ratings are very low and the mid-term elections are only 10 months away.	1.1733	0.04792	75	63	11	1
6195	Derek, I'd like you to meet your new manager, Snowball.	1.1731	0.04199	104	88	14	2
6196	Basically it says,"Growl woof yourself"	1.1728	0.04903	81	69	10	2
6197	And this is the amount of bones and kibble he is requesting in order to maintain his standard of living after the divorce.	1.1728	0.05209	81	70	8	3
6198	Essentially, it says that once the babies are born, they stay with the mother. It's a pre-pup contract.	1.1728	0.04903	81	69	10	2
6199	And the kibbles are non-negotiable.	1.1728	0.05209	81	70	8	3
6200	Once you sign this the dogvorce will be final.	1.1728	0.04578	81	68	12	1
6201	I think you'll find Scruffy's offer more than fair.	1.1728	0.04578	81	68	12	1
6202	Before you take him home, you’ll need to sign a prepup.	1.1728	0.04578	81	68	12	1
6203	Please put your paws on the table--he can't read your writing.	1.1728	0.04227	81	67	14	0
6204	Final offer: Fido will settle for late afternoon belly rubs, a few extra biscuits, and “please, God, a name change.”	1.1728	0.04227	81	67	14	0
6205	the conservatorship has been terminated	1.1728	0.04578	81	68	12	1
6206	This is not an offer; these are the directions out.	1.1728	0.04578	81	68	12	1
6207	Ok. so you remember in the Jim Carrey Grinch movie when that guy was dreaming and stuck his tongue up the dogs asshole? Well, that's a prime example of White Privilege.	1.1728	0.05209	81	70	8	3
6208	It's discrimination, Eddie. Fred-Frieda says there are many dogs like him, and they weren't consulted.	1.1728	0.04903	81	69	10	2
6209	Freddie says make another offer and if you leave out the bitches it's a non-starter.	1.1728	0.05209	81	70	8	3
6210	Sorry these are the dogeared copies	1.1728	0.05209	81	70	8	3
6211	Human Resources doesn’t place much reliance on insider evaluation!	1.1728	0.04227	81	67	14	0
6212	Rover feels that you have potential, but he would still like to see how you express yourself on the paper.	1.1728	0.04578	81	68	12	1
6213	You realize after you sign you will have relinquished any rights you have to the plays toys, the dog house, and the backyard	1.1728	0.04578	81	68	12	1
6214	His asks are three walks a day, a four month minimum between baths and some fresher engagement on his Instagram account.	1.1728	0.04578	81	68	12	1
6215	The deal won’t get any sweeter. Either agree to get rid of the cat, or he’ll move in with your ex.	1.1728	0.04578	81	68	12	1
6216	And this form will finalize the pup pre-nup.	1.1728	0.04227	81	67	14	0
6217	It's not all bad... he says you can keep the car.	1.1728	0.04903	81	69	10	2
6218	These legal documents prove that this dog no longer wants to be your best friend	1.1728	0.04227	81	67	14	0
6219	Him? Oh, we got rid of Human Resources when we discovered that Canine Resources were a better fit for us -- you know, that whole Best Friend thing.	1.1728	0.04903	81	69	10	2
6220	No tricks, and he won't shake on it.	1.1724	0.05223	87	76	7	4
6221	He’s willing to settle for daily belly rubs.	1.1724	0.04684	87	74	11	2
6222	You have a bone to ick?	1.1724	0.04073	87	72	15	0
6223	For settlement purposes, my client refrains from being a good boy.	1.1724	0.04073	87	72	15	0
6224	Beefy the Beef dog here says you owse him 3000 pounds of hot, steaming, fresh, beef. Is that correct?	1.1724	0.04961	87	75	9	3
6225	notice that you lost the guardianship of the puppies	1.1724	0.04389	87	73	13	1
6226	Just don't tell her she is going to live with the in-laws.	1.1724	0.04389	87	73	13	1
6227	Possession is 9/10th of the law.	1.1724	0.04389	87	73	13	1
6228	What do you think makes for a great walk?	1.1724	0.05223	87	76	7	4
6229	It’s been a ruff year, so we are forced to let you go.	1.1724	0.04389	87	73	13	1
6230	My client wants a divorce. And half the milk bones.	1.1724	0.04389	87	73	13	1
6231	And please sign this pre-adoption agreement…	1.1724	0.04389	87	73	13	1
6232	Here's a list of Rover's demands if he's to continue in this relationship.	1.1724	0.04684	87	74	11	2
6233	He's asking for full custody of all chew toys.	1.1724	0.04684	87	74	11	2
6234	Throwing you the last bone. Your wife has the right to claim more than half of the estate. The world agrees.	1.1724	0.04389	87	73	13	1
6235	You can keep any bones you find hidden in the furniture, but he wants sole custody of the squeak toys.	1.1724	0.04389	87	73	13	1
6236	What stinks?	1.1724	0.04961	87	75	9	3
6237	And the last of his demands, stop calling him your fur baby	1.1724	0.04389	87	73	13	1
6238	Buster and I have discussed your future with the company, our offer is for you is to be his "Personal Assistant"!	1.1724	0.04684	87	74	11	2
6239	Are you up for the challenge?	1.1724	0.04684	87	74	11	2
6240	Try not to think of this as a competition.	1.1724	0.04073	87	72	15	0
6241	Sorry, his lawyers had a better pedigree.	1.1720	0.05213	93	82	6	5
6242	My client wishes to know who is "man's best friend?"	1.1720	0.04490	93	79	12	2
6243	It's actually not up to me; the dog makes the final decison.	1.1720	0.04221	93	78	14	1
6244	Three 20 minutes walks per week and that's our final offer.	1.1720	0.04743	93	80	10	3
6245	Please write down your list of preferred "commands" and I will confer with my client. Rufus really hopes to keep this amicable and always loved your treats.	1.1720	0.04221	93	78	14	1
6246	It's probably best if this does not get posted on Twitter. This week might wash you up for good!"	1.1720	0.03935	93	77	16	0
6247	One for you Two for me	1.1719	0.05702	64	55	7	2
6248	Try this and if they don’t bite we will throw in a bone	1.1717	0.03810	99	82	17	0
6249	We feel the terms to downgrade the relationship from man’s best friend to cat are amicable.	1.1717	0.03810	99	82	17	0
6250	We need to know you can read and write. The dog’s not sure.	1.1717	0.04071	99	83	15	1
6251	I have his side of the story. Do you mind writing down why he's NOT a good boy?	1.1717	0.04317	99	84	13	2
6252	Please sign here to honor the good boy agreement	1.1717	0.04549	99	85	11	3
6253	And here's the prepupual agreement. Please sign at the bottom.	1.1714	0.05745	70	61	6	3
6254	Fido does not feel safe with you, so she sent her attorney Rex to do the negotiations.	1.1714	0.03936	105	88	16	1
6255	You have to write a motivation letter as you can see your competitor has already finished his	1.1714	0.04973	70	59	10	1
6256	Write the five things you like most about working here.	1.1714	0.04973	70	59	10	1
6257	My client demands joint custody of the leftovers!	1.1714	0.04537	70	58	12	0
6258	And here are our standard prepuptial agreement terms.	1.1711	0.04348	76	63	13	0
6259	This oughta get us over the last hump.	1.1711	0.04348	76	63	13	0
6260	This form states that you agree to dismiss the lawsuit regarding your slippers.	1.1711	0.04734	76	64	11	1
6261	He just needs a sample of your handwriting before he decides whether or not to hire you.	1.1711	0.04734	76	64	11	1
6262	Your choice son	1.1711	0.04734	76	64	11	1
6263	I’m afraid the condo in Fort Lauderdale is not negotiable.	1.1711	0.05091	76	65	9	2
6264	What type of treat would you prefer before I begin reading Major's will or would you prefer a rawhide bone	1.1711	0.05091	76	65	9	2
6265	It's a fair settlement and split of assets...of course Prince is keeping the house.	1.1711	0.05091	76	65	9	2
6266	We are letting you go because you keep forgetting the doggie bags on your shifts. Thank you for your service to Dog Corp.	1.1707	0.04848	82	70	10	2
6267	This page of the contract governs your daily walks and scratch / itch obligation(s). Please sign and initial in the highlighted spaces.	1.1707	0.04181	82	68	14	0
6268	The dog already aced it, but we'll give you a chance.	1.1707	0.04181	82	68	14	0
6269	My client very much wants this to be an amicable separation.	1.1707	0.04181	82	68	14	0
6270	He's suggested some revisions to your prepuptial agreement.	1.1707	0.04848	82	70	10	2
6271	She’s already signed the adoption papers.	1.1707	0.04848	82	70	10	2
6272	The agreement resolves every bone of contention between the parties: You waive the claim of negligent tail-wagging, and my client gets to have custody of his stick collection.	1.1707	0.04527	82	69	12	1
6273	I’m sorry Bob, looks like you’ve broken the adoption agreement. The bitch is suing this time!	1.1707	0.04848	82	70	10	2
6274	These pre-adoption demands are non-negotiable	1.1707	0.04848	82	70	10	2
6275	You would be working here under Cooper... do you have any questions for him?	1.1707	0.05149	82	71	8	3
6276	We are sorry but our CEO is looking for someone more familiar with local hydrants	1.1707	0.04181	82	68	14	0
6277	Sparky will know if you are a cat person.	1.1707	0.04181	82	68	14	0
6278	We're here today on behalf of Ralph's best interests. He has brought it to our attention that when you moved to the city you violated his adoption contract.	1.1707	0.04527	82	69	12	1
6279	This is our dress code. If you bring your dog you have to wear a suit.	1.1707	0.04527	82	69	12	1
6280	my client does not speak directly to his customers	1.1707	0.04181	82	68	14	0
6281	It’s a standard confidentiality agreement.	1.1705	0.04634	88	75	11	2
6282	We’re done settling everything with a handshake.	1.1705	0.04031	88	73	15	0
6283	Until you learn to respond better to commands, Rover will be functioning as COO.	1.1705	0.04908	88	76	9	3
6284	Please check our watchdog's background report for accuracy.	1.1705	0.04190	88	76	10	2
6285	You keep the house but he gets unlimited use of the pool.	1.1705	0.04634	88	75	11	2
6286	Well I’m not sure if I can help you with the divorce since I have no idea how you were able to marry your dog.	1.1705	0.04031	88	73	15	0
6287	You can have custody of the dry food, and the leash. Buddy-Boy wants the wet food and the car.	1.1705	0.04343	88	74	13	1
6288	Are you willing to work like a dog?	1.1705	0.04634	88	75	11	2
6289	It never was a good fit anyway.	1.1705	0.04634	88	75	11	2
6290	The dog will write his answers down!	1.1705	0.04343	88	74	13	1
6291	Just sign here and you'll no longer be known as "Seymour Katz".	1.1705	0.04343	88	74	13	1
6292	Fluffy has no more strings to pull, this is his final offer.	1.1705	0.04031	88	73	15	0
6293	This is her final offer.	1.1705	0.04031	88	73	15	0
6294	- Marc, let's not complicate things. Sign with your paw here & give her what she deserves, meaning half of your assets. - Baby one word from you and... - Marc, don't be silly she's a dog she can't speak. Now put your human paw on this piece of paper!	1.1705	0.04634	88	75	11	2
6295	desertion- meaning leaving without agreement or a good reason.	1.1705	0.04031	88	73	15	0
6296	You can keep the leash and water bowl. He gets the dog house and bed. All remaining food is split 50/50.	1.1705	0.04634	88	75	11	2
6297	Mr. Fluffers plan is simply more cost effective.	1.1705	0.04908	88	76	9	3
6298	He agrees to the spaying. We just need you to sign a financial responsibility statement.	1.1705	0.04343	88	74	13	1
6299	By not signing a "pre-pup" agreement Bingo gets half of everything	1.1705	0.04343	88	74	13	1
6300	This is a list of his demands if he is going to continue to live in your house.	1.1705	0.04031	88	73	15	0
6301	Item two: my client need neither sit nor beg for treats, and it will henceforth be implied that he is “a good boy.”	1.1705	0.04343	88	74	13	1
6302	So, we are in agreement. Walks twice a day and a belly rub before bed.	1.1702	0.04180	94	79	14	1
6303	Pick a card...any card Bonnie Lyons Salkind Great Neck Plaza, New York	1.1702	0.04180	94	79	14	1
6304	These are our dress code stipulations	1.1702	0.04180	94	79	14	1
6305	So he is agreeing to get fixed in exchange for an additional walk per day and the right to bark at two passers-by per hour.	1.1702	0.04180	94	79	14	1
6306	Is there a dog in your life, McDougal? Your application doesn’t say.	1.1702	0.04446	94	80	12	2
6307	If you call her a bitch again, she'll demand way more than just the dog house in Boca.	1.1702	0.04933	94	82	8	4
6308	Thank you for shaving off your mustasch. McDuff here is a little insecure.	1.1702	0.04180	94	79	14	1
6309	I'm afraid the shared custody will only work if you ante up for the extra daily walk and let him cavort with the neighbor's poodle.	1.1702	0.04446	94	80	12	2
6310	…my client Agrees to the cuddling clause…	1.1702	0.04446	94	80	12	2
6311	He wants visitation rights with your toilet.	1.1702	0.04446	94	80	12	2
6312	You have just three days to pack up and leave her all your assets, including the doghouse!	1.1702	0.03897	94	80	13	1
6313	Mr.Bear Bubba would like to know where you were on the night of the 29th. He thought you smelt like a Pomeranian that night.	1.1702	0.04446	94	80	12	2
6314	Your dog is suing you for canine misconduct, too little pets too little treats.	1.1702	0.04696	94	81	10	3
6315	Mr. Flufferbutter will remain his right to weekly visitations of the backyard to further continue his excavation work. No supervision,no less than 3,5 hours.	1.1702	0.04696	94	81	10	3
6316	Here is a list of Rufus's demands for the separation.	1.1700	0.04277	100	85	13	2
6317	He wants those Instagram likes in crypto-kibbles	1.1700	0.04034	100	84	15	1
6318	Do you, Mr. Wright, take Ms. Fluffles to be your legally wedded wife?	1.1700	0.04034	100	84	15	1
6319	You caused emotional distress by asking "who's a good boy"	1.1692	0.05174	65	55	9	1
6320	He insists on keeping the squeaky ball, but you can have the rawhide chews.	1.1692	0.05174	65	55	9	1
6321	Finally, we have this addendum to the Rescue Agreement which indemnifies Sir Woofsalot against excessive barking.	1.1692	0.04687	65	54	11	0
6322	This is a copy of the will, the dog gets everything	1.1690	0.04479	71	59	12	0
6323	She also wants a pair of your underwear, a dress shoe, and the toilet.	1.1690	0.04479	71	59	12	0
6324	he's asking that you just look him in the eye and simply trust him	1.1690	0.04908	71	60	10	1
6325	I think you'll find the separation terms agreeable, and if you have questions, Ms. Jones of H.R. is here at my left to answer them.	1.1690	0.04479	71	59	12	0
6326	Sec. II: walking. You agree to walk my client daily for one mile with an appropriate doggie treat and a tummy rub at the terminus.	1.1690	0.04479	71	59	12	0
6327	If you can remember his name, Mr Boden, you keep your job.	1.1690	0.04908	71	60	10	1
6328	My client would like to stipulate terms!	1.1690	0.05669	71	62	6	3
6329	Okay, what do you want for lunch	1.1690	0.04908	71	60	10	1
6330	We are both going through the motions.	1.1690	0.04479	71	59	12	0
6331	My client has a list of demands,including an increase in treats and belly rubs.	1.1690	0.05302	71	61	8	2
6332	The terms are 6 walks and 5 meals a day plus leather shoes in reach 24/7 Frank Buckley Andover MA	1.1688	0.04678	77	65	11	1
6333	Inheritance of the company IS somewhat unusual, but are you on board or not?	1.1688	0.05359	77	67	7	3
6334	Here at the company, we take our anti-leg humping policy very seriously.	1.1688	0.04678	77	65	11	1
6335	She wants the dog house, one can of dog food everyday, and custody of the puppies.	1.1688	0.04678	77	65	11	1
6336	My client seeks remedy of damages caused by unannounced delay of dinner associated with daylight savings.	1.1688	0.04678	77	65	11	1
6337	Just let the dog out	1.1688	0.04678	77	65	11	1
6338	He just wants compensation from you for sneaking food from his bowl.	1.1688	0.05030	77	66	9	2
6339	We agreed to "Loyal Companion" but we're not signing your pre-pup.	1.1688	0.04678	77	65	11	1
6340	Sorry, his decision is final.	1.1688	0.05030	77	66	9	2
6341	If you open this paper, you will find what my dog told me about you.	1.1688	0.04297	77	64	13	0
6342	My client believes that a simple 'friend' relationship is more appropriate.	1.1688	0.05030	77	66	9	2
6343	We have his side of it. Now, if you will just write down your side of things.	1.1688	0.04678	77	65	11	1
6344	He wants the house and alimony in bones.	1.1688	0.04297	77	64	13	0
6345	I have advised Buddy to muzzle his feelings to protect his rights as his lawsuit proceeds.	1.1687	0.04135	83	69	14	0
6346	uaf uaf, lo siento pero mi amo dice que estas despedido	1.1687	0.04793	83	71	10	2
6347	Ok: which paper is the pea under?	1.1687	0.05091	83	72	8	3
6348	Could you read it out loud for us?	1.1687	0.04476	83	70	12	1
6349	And with this, he will be a good rich boy.	1.1687	0.04476	83	70	12	1
6350	This is the tale he wagged.	1.1687	0.04476	83	70	12	1
6351	We're fond of a handwritten signature over upload, fetch, and click.	1.1687	0.04793	83	71	10	2
6352	Just sign here and hand over the dog treats.	1.1687	0.04476	83	70	12	1
6353	It's all pretty standard; he'll continue to have access to the Oak tree in the back yard.	1.1687	0.04476	83	70	12	1
6354	The prepup is ready for you to sign	1.1687	0.04793	83	71	10	2
6355	Promotions here are based on your homework eating ability Simpkins; do you have a problem with that?	1.1687	0.04476	83	70	12	1
6356	My client wants to be emancipated from your lack of leadership and your poopy pickup practices!	1.1687	0.05091	83	72	8	3
6357	She's made some changes to the pre-pup.	1.1687	0.04135	83	69	14	0
6358	Well, that finalizes it. You have officially reversed ownership status and are now Snowy's human.	1.1687	0.04476	83	70	12	1
6359	You must give Max half of your kibble, article 31-4 of the Canine Code.	1.1687	0.04135	83	69	14	0
6360	My client agrees to a legal separation but denies your claim of adultery and that he "humps everything in sight. "	1.1687	0.04476	83	70	12	1
6361	Your Pink Slip is under one of theses menus. Pick it and you get a free appetizer in the cafeteria one your way out.	1.1687	0.04793	83	71	10	2
6362	This is Max's final offer on your dog house but you must throw in free kibbles.	1.1685	0.04586	89	76	11	2
6363	There will have to be a bone-us structure.	1.1685	0.04299	89	75	13	1
6364	Who gets the Dog house?	1.1685	0.04299	89	75	13	1
6365	Sorry, he's loyal and will work for kibble and the occasional table scrap."	1.1685	0.04299	89	75	13	1
6366	And, for publicly revealing her DNA she is asking for.....	1.1685	0.04299	89	75	13	1
6367	He wants you to rewrite Little Orphan Annie as a rom-com.	1.1685	0.03991	89	74	15	0
6368	I'm sorry, but you agreed to binding arbitration when you accepted his terms and conditions.	1.1685	0.04586	89	76	11	2
6369	If you pick the left pile you can go back to life. Pick the right pile and your life will change,we don	1.1685	0.03991	89	76	12	1
6370	Now, Sir, if you, too, put your paw here, we can close this matter for good.	1.1685	0.04299	89	75	13	1
6371	Sorry, Joe. The power of the dog.	1.1685	0.05113	89	78	7	4
6372	My client insists on these terms to complete your co-habitation agreement including,but not limited to,all decisions on food and treats and sole parenting of the puppies	1.1685	0.03991	89	74	15	0
6373	I'm afraid your share of the estate will only amount to animal crackers once a month.	1.1684	0.04140	95	80	14	1
6374	She has been very insistent that the way you treated her was rough.	1.1684	0.03712	95	81	13	1
6375	This is my client’s best and final offer. I believe you will find it to be quite generous, given the circumstances	1.1684	0.04140	95	80	14	1
6376	The scent of that Doxie up the street was all over your hands, and my client sniffed it out, you two-timing dog.	1.1684	0.04140	95	80	14	1
6377	My client is asking for a clean break. No tricks.	1.1684	0.04140	95	80	14	1
6378	My client wants full control of doggie treats!	1.1684	0.04140	95	80	14	1
6379	My client says she wants “arf!”	1.1684	0.04650	95	82	10	3
6380	Rufus feels that you haven't been putting in your best effort lately	1.1684	0.03860	95	79	16	0
6381	if you ares still intending to adopt my client, here are her non-negotiable terms	1.1684	0.04140	95	80	14	1
6382	And in the case of his untimely demise you get all the squeaky toys.	1.1684	0.04402	95	81	12	2
6383	Why fight the decision? He’s offering you his house in exchange.	1.1683	0.04238	101	86	13	2
6384	"I'll only settle for the doghouse, full grooming services, quality chow and custody of litter."	1.1683	0.04238	101	86	13	2
6385	Do you understand the full implications if you are to be fully emancipated, and known only as the adult Sherman Peabody?	1.1683	0.04238	101	86	13	2
6386	Let's be clear: Your dog Poochie here is suing you for dereliction of doody.	1.1682	0.04300	107	92	12	3
6387	Just to warn you-- they eat dogs out there.	1.1682	0.03633	107	89	18	0
6388	In 50 words or less, please explain why you’re the right caninedidate for this job.	1.1682	0.04500	107	93	10	4
6389	Finally, Sir Wags agrees to refrain from tracking Fluff's kitty litter into the Aubusson. And you agree to immediately discontinue using the phrase: 'Who's a good doggie?'	1.1667	0.04539	90	77	11	2
6390	He insists on 15 treats a day to drop the suit.	1.1667	0.04100	96	81	14	1
6391	We have a deal if she gets sole custody of the hygge chair.	1.1667	0.04740	84	72	10	2
6392	No worries, it’s the standard caregivers contract.	1.1667	0.04100	96	81	14	1
6393	Sole custody of the bones. That's all he is asking.	1.1667	0.04247	78	65	13	0
6394	Your dog is going to keep the house. The sooner you accept it, the better.	1.1667	0.03708	102	85	17	0
6395	Clause 11: you promise regular pedicures at a Covid-safe groomer. This is a standard provision known as the Sanitized Claws.	1.1667	0.05102	66	56	9	1
6396	And now, Mr Bennett, if you will place your paw where indicated, we can settle this forgery question once and for all	1.1667	0.04423	72	60	12	0
6397	Now is your turn. Write down the names of five countries starting with M.	1.1667	0.04427	84	71	12	1
6398	I'm sorry, but Barney and I don't think you're cut out for this line of work."	1.1667	0.04255	90	76	13	1
6399	Eeny, Meany,....	1.1667	0.04623	66	55	11	0
6400	If you work like a dog, there will be opportunities for promotion. For example, this is your new supervisor, Champ.	1.1667	0.05294	78	68	7	3
6401	Now it’s your turn to eat dog poop.	1.1667	0.04427	84	71	12	1
6402	These are your insurance files and- oh, don't mind the dog.	1.1667	0.05294	78	68	7	3
6403	You get the leash. She gets the lease.	1.1667	0.04427	84	71	12	1
6404	Gus stipulates to your keeping Moxie the cat.	1.1667	0.04423	72	60	12	0
6405	This guarantees he will only be fed organically grown treats.	1.1667	0.04091	84	70	14	0
6406	This separation is not contested so you get the dog house and your ex-best friend gets the dog food	1.1667	0.04623	78	66	11	1
6407	...and my client gets the wife -- that's nonnegotiable.	1.1667	0.05311	84	74	6	4
6408	And one final request, she gets to keep the house”	1.1667	0.04623	78	66	11	1
6409	Fido has already completed his test but you haven't even opened your exam booklet.	1.1667	0.05233	72	62	8	2
6410	I'm afraid you'll still need to walk him out twice a day if you want visitation rights	1.1667	0.04623	78	66	11	1
6411	Stamp your hand one time for yes and twice for no.	1.1667	0.04427	84	71	12	1
6412	Sign it! My colleague says it passes the smell test!	1.1667	0.05233	72	62	8	2
6413	What's your thinking on sleepovers and midnight treats?	1.1667	0.04247	78	65	13	0
6414	Your pawprint's needed to assure Buster that you, like all of us, exist for him alone.	1.1667	0.04423	72	60	12	0
6415	I have a good feeling about you	1.1667	0.04970	78	67	9	2
6416	We only had room for one of you in the budget, so here is your layoff package. I’m sorry, but Shaggy my emotional support dog stays.	1.1667	0.04427	84	71	12	1
6417	Our HR head here says that you refused to let him pee on your pants leg, therefore there is no room for you in this company.	1.1667	0.04100	96	81	14	1
6418	Mr Fluffy would like to keep the cat.	1.1667	0.04091	84	70	14	0
6419	Air Bud 6: Free Agent Negotiation	1.1667	0.04100	96	81	14	1
6420	Ok, but can you just explain it to me one more time—why does he get to keep his house AND my house?	1.1667	0.04970	78	67	9	2
6421	Rex gets your ex.	1.1667	0.04623	78	66	11	1
6422	As I explained, divorce is always expensive.	1.1667	0.03950	90	75	15	0
6423	You can have the office towers and the estate, but she wants access to all the fire hydrants. And she says you better play ball with her or things will get nasty!	1.1667	0.04427	84	71	12	1
6424	So we’re at an extra walk a day, guaranteed beach or dog park on weekends, and the new couch survives…	1.1667	0.04845	72	61	10	1
6425	You don't get the doghouse, but you'll be in the doghouse.	1.1667	0.04740	84	72	10	2
6426	The bite was bad enough. But it’s the publicity that really took my client by surprise.	1.1667	0.04623	78	66	11	1
6427	This addendum limits you to one fake fetch toss per dog year.	1.1667	0.04423	72	60	12	0
6428	The dog house is yours and Angus get everything else.	1.1667	0.04247	78	65	13	0
6429	Is this your best offer ?	1.1667	0.04100	96	81	14	1
6430	He is claiming ‘lack of commitment’.	1.1667	0.04423	72	60	12	0
6431	Here's the cash amount my client is willing to pay to you if, after the split, you keep the apartment in the city but my client retains the house in the country.	1.1667	0.04539	90	77	11	2
6432	Yes, you are responsible to pay for the care of all of your dog's puppies until they reach age 18.	1.1667	0.04845	72	61	10	1
6433	She gets the house,the car,and all of the chew toys. You	1.1667	0.04740	84	72	10	2
6434	As Rufus has a profitable Instagram page, he will not be seeking alimony.	1.1667	0.04623	66	55	11	0
6435	My client, hereafter referred to as "good boy", will prove his worthiness as a bona fide companion.	1.1667	0.04970	78	67	9	2
6436	It's very straightforward. He gets the house. You get the entire lawn, furnished patio and your own door.	1.1667	0.04970	78	67	9	2
6437	Your pre-pup requires daily "good boys."	1.1667	0.04427	84	71	12	1
6438	We feel it's a very generous offer - she may be getting the beach house, but she's offering you the bones buried in the yard.	1.1667	0.04806	90	78	9	3
6439	You and your dog are now officially divorced.	1.1667	0.04623	78	66	11	1
6440	As his attorney, please sign the form granting ownership of dog house to him	1.1667	0.05102	66	56	9	1
6441	It's a restraining order: No leash. No kennel or fencing. No "Sit" or "Stay" commands.	1.1667	0.04970	78	67	9	2
6442	If you can guess what this dog is thinking you get the job. He is thinking that I am the best person for this job.	1.1667	0.04604	96	83	10	3
6443	And now I will share my screen…	1.1667	0.04845	72	61	10	1
6444	My client gets 75% of all future ad revenue from the “Bowser & Michael” YouTube channel plus a visit with the kids every other weekend. In return my client agrees that there will be no mention of the “fake throw, hide ball behind the back” incidents.	1.1667	0.05233	72	62	8	2
6445	well luckily since you never actually fucked this dog we can do an annulment but man we cant keep doing this, you need to get your life together	1.1667	0.05034	84	73	8	3
6446	My client is not willing to compromise on wet food	1.1667	0.04845	72	61	10	1
6447	I'm sorry Jim, we have a strict policy on rough play, we're going to have to let you go.	1.1667	0.03950	90	75	15	0
6448	This agreement states, that in the event of a 're-homing', my client will be entitled to continue to occupy your current apartment, without your presence, and at your expense.	1.1667	0.04604	96	83	10	3
6449	My client has informed me that you have a 'bone' to pick with him...specify!	1.1667	0.04427	84	71	12	1
6450	Once you’ve signed, my client will be fully emancipated and can run away as much as he wants.	1.1650	0.03926	103	87	15	1
6451	He says the headline doesn’t really translate in Canine.	1.1649	0.03788	97	81	16	0
6452	You have to walk him twice a day and let him choose what to eat	1.1649	0.04061	97	82	14	1
6453	Final offer, I keep the kids, you get the cat.	1.1649	0.04061	97	82	14	1
6454	Just sign the pre-nip here.	1.1649	0.04318	97	83	12	2
6455	Sign this and Rascal here will take you to the park to go over benefits.	1.1649	0.04061	97	82	14	1
6456	Mr. Hough has decided to have you fixed.	1.1648	0.04212	91	77	13	1
6457	A lifetime BarkBox subscription and half of your assets is her final demand.	1.1648	0.04212	91	77	13	1
6458	Even though we're out of pink ink, trust me it's a pink slip.	1.1648	0.04492	91	78	11	2
6459	Woof has already signed.	1.1648	0.04756	91	79	9	3
6460	Doggie houses are getting foreclosed upon faster than ever now.	1.1648	0.04212	91	77	13	1
6461	She likes the taste of your resumé.	1.1648	0.04212	91	77	13	1
6462	To complete this adoption you'll have to make Roscoe a 'no bones' offer to include only freshly cooked meals.	1.1648	0.04212	91	77	13	1
6463	The practice of so-called 'intermittent reinforcement' will cease and desist immediately.	1.1648	0.04492	91	78	11	2
6464	B	1.1648	0.04756	91	79	9	3
6465	So the new settlement is walks on Mondays and Thursdays.” Jack Deneen (age 16), Bronxville, New Yor	1.1648	0.04212	91	77	13	1
6466	Here is your first check. Don’t spend it all at once.	1.1648	0.04212	91	77	13	1
6467	Fido considers your proposed division of property to be unconscionable and bordering on the baroque.	1.1648	0.04492	91	78	11	2
6468	He wants to make clear that he retains custody of the cat.	1.1648	0.04212	91	77	13	1
6469	I wrote down a figure on this piece of paper. Scratch your left ear if he's still interested in being Chief of Security. Scratch your right ear if he wants to continue to negotiate.	1.1648	0.04492	91	78	11	2
6470	Rufus is demanding full custody of your dirty socks collection	1.1647	0.04688	85	73	10	2
6471	This is pursuant to the plaintiff's request that your signature signifies that you shall tell no more 'Shaggy Dog' jokes.	1.1647	0.04379	85	72	12	1
6472	NO TREATS FOR PRESIDENT BOZO, NO RAISE FOR YOU.	1.1647	0.04978	85	74	8	3
6473	Play to win. (It’s not often that the competition instructions double up as an apt caption)	1.1647	0.04978	85	74	8	3
6474	I’m sorry, Mr. Snuffles is… uncomfortable around cat owners.	1.1647	0.04047	85	71	14	0
6475	my partner and I came to the same conclusion: you' re fired,Woof !	1.1647	0.04688	85	73	10	2
6476	The other candidate helps diversify our workplace, is loyal, and she bites!	1.1647	0.04688	85	73	10	2
6477	Here are his demands for the divorce.	1.1647	0.04047	85	71	14	0
6478	This is why we have prenups.	1.1647	0.04379	85	72	12	1
6479	The dog will agree to one overnight visit per week	1.1647	0.04978	85	74	8	3
6480	Sign now or we go for puppy support in addition to the alimony.	1.1647	0.04379	85	72	12	1
6481	Division of homes will go as follows: You get the doghouse and Fido get the house.	1.1647	0.04688	85	73	10	2
6482	Just your signature, sir. I can't wait around all day.	1.1647	0.04047	85	71	14	0
6483	My client will not accept a substitute for his daily steak !	1.1647	0.04379	85	72	12	1
6484	Here is a copy of Kim JongUn's love letter to President Trump.	1.1647	0.04379	85	72	12	1
6485	Here's the NDA we previously discussed.	1.1647	0.04047	85	71	14	0
6486	She says you can keep the house as long as she gets the yard.	1.1647	0.04379	85	72	12	1
6487	My client feels that being a "good boy" daily implies a much higher value in walking privileges.	1.1647	0.04978	85	74	8	3
6488	If you correctly guess Scruffy's favorite rom-com, you get the job.	1.1647	0.04688	85	73	10	2
6489	And the settlement stipulates that Woody will get all the squeaker toys, dog biscuits and the sofa.	1.1647	0.04688	85	73	10	2
6490	This is quite the doggish deal.	1.1647	0.04047	85	71	14	0
6491	Bowser had some notes on the office leash policy.	1.1647	0.04379	85	72	12	1
6492	As per your pre-nup, rover gets the pethouse apartment.	1.1646	0.04911	79	68	9	2
6493	Sorry, he has woofed for your resignation.	1.1646	0.04568	79	67	11	1
6494	Max wants a separation. He no longer wags his tail around you anymore.	1.1646	0.04911	79	68	9	2
6495	My client has here outlined the performance guidelines for what he calls the	1.1646	0.04568	79	67	11	1
6496	He wants a divorce. From you.	1.1646	0.04911	79	68	9	2
6497	Sorry,dog says no.	1.1646	0.04911	79	68	9	2
6498	My client does not agree without the promise of his daily bone.	1.1646	0.04568	79	67	11	1
6499	Fido is now officially yours. She said if she wanted a guy who dug in the garden and always brought dirt in the house, she wouldn't have divorced you.	1.1646	0.04568	79	67	11	1
6500	These are your walking papers. Don’t forget the leash and the “poop bags”.	1.1646	0.04568	79	67	11	1
6501	I did say, your second interview may be a little ruff	1.1646	0.05231	79	69	7	3
6502	And here’s the Confidentiality Agreement stipulating you will never reveal thatWhiskers here makes all decisions by wagging her tail once for yes, twice for no.	1.1646	0.04911	79	68	9	2
6503	My client would like to remind you that these weren't even playoff games.	1.1646	0.04568	79	67	11	1
6504	He’s able to offer you a 90 day trial contract with a performance review.	1.1646	0.04198	79	66	13	0
6505	...and you certify that he is a "good boy"	1.1646	0.04568	79	67	11	1
6506	That's not all. My client has a bone to pick.	1.1644	0.05166	73	63	8	2
6507	Included with employment are two walks a day	1.1644	0.04368	73	61	12	0
6508	My client feels that you’ve seriously under-estimated the monetary value of years of quality “chewing”, “fetching” and “laying around the house”!	1.1644	0.05166	73	63	8	2
6509	I travel for business often, and Scruffy wants to test your ability to grill the perfect T-bone.	1.1644	0.05166	73	63	8	2
6510	This is a standard prepuptial agreement.	1.1644	0.04368	73	61	12	0
6511	This rental agreement on his house does can only be terminated by your wife.	1.1644	0.05522	73	64	6	3
6512	Please sign here to witness that this dog is legally the reincarnation of former president Theodore Roosevelt.	1.1644	0.05857	73	65	4	4
6513	Whiskers is my comfort animal, and he wants your piece of paper.	1.1644	0.04580	73	64	7	2
6514	Here’s his offer…better food and quit calling him “bad boy.”	1.1644	0.04784	73	62	10	1
6515	So all I need is your check for $462,000, and Fido's doghouse will be yours.	1.1644	0.04784	73	62	10	1
6516	As part of the separation agreement,my client requests his 50% of the partnership be transferred in Bones,or Dogecoin.	1.1644	0.04784	73	62	10	1
6517	My client is willing to give you full custody of the cat, but in exchange he wants the T.V. remote and one of your nice shoes.	1.1644	0.05166	73	63	8	2
6518	It’s just not working out.	1.1644	0.05166	73	63	8	2
6519	He says he won't settle unless you agree to three dog bones a day.	1.1644	0.04784	73	62	10	1
6520	My client says if you wish to retain custody of your slippers, it'll cost you.	1.1644	0.04784	73	62	10	1
6521	This is our final woofer	1.1642	0.04560	67	56	11	0
6522	It's done. Solomon has agreed to bequeath you his squeak toy collection in lieu of cutting them in half.	1.1642	0.05031	67	57	9	1
6523	In addition to an unlimited supply of his favorite treat, the contract also stipulates that stupid pet tricks are not required.	1.1635	0.03891	104	88	15	1
6524	You'll be reporting to our CTO--Chief Treats Officer.	1.1633	0.04277	98	84	12	2
6525	My client requires a minimum of two walks a day, a fresh bone every week, filtered water in the bowl, and a non-disclosure agreement regarding any personal grooming choices.	1.1633	0.04277	98	84	12	2
6526	Honey,your mother and I are getting a divorce.	1.1633	0.04277	98	84	12	2
6527	He wants to know if you've been potty trained.	1.1633	0.03753	98	82	16	0
6528	My client would like you to agree to the "good boy" clause shown here.	1.1633	0.03753	98	82	16	0
6529	She gets the Dog House in the Hamptons and you get your favorite leash!	1.1630	0.04169	92	78	13	1
6530	No hard feelings, but we decided to keep the dog instead of you. You’re ok for a few random background appearances on calls	1.1630	0.03872	92	77	15	0
6531	Pick a card. Any card.	1.1630	0.04169	92	78	13	1
6532	Fido has written his five year plan, now let's have your ideas.	1.1630	0.04169	92	78	13	1
6533	Were it not for Leona Helmsley, we wouldn't be here today. Greg Mattingly, Orange, MA	1.1630	0.04447	92	79	11	2
6534	Mr. HufflePuddles has benevolently offered you a month's severance and a free hair redo. I'm really sorry Jack.	1.1630	0.04447	92	79	11	2
6535	The Condition! No leash on Park avenue!	1.1630	0.04447	92	79	11	2
6536	Please write down how many treats you are offering for my client to roll over.	1.1630	0.04169	92	78	13	1
6537	If you agree to the terms, than I can pronounced you, man and dog.	1.1630	0.04447	92	79	11	2
6538	As Jor- El's attorney, He is seeking Emancipation from your annoying Family, best friend status notwithstanding.	1.1630	0.03872	92	77	15	0
6539	All he wants is the house and all the furniture; the dog run, and the swimming pool. Just sign on the dotted line.	1.1630	0.04708	92	80	9	3
6540	Signal your acceptance by signing here and then asking Rex for 'paw.'	1.1630	0.04447	92	79	11	2
6541	In the final analysis- -It's him or me!	1.1630	0.04447	92	79	11	2
6542	Fido is claiming custody of your wife.	1.1630	0.04169	92	78	13	1
6543	Fido here can always pick out the highest salary and best perks. Let's see how you do!	1.1630	0.04447	92	79	11	2
6544	Sorry Sir Never Screw with a Dogma!	1.1630	0.04447	92	79	11	2
6545	You really should've signed a prenup... Peanut has marked 90% of your belongings.	1.1628	0.04004	86	72	14	0
6546	Greg, I thought it’s better to do this the decent and old-fashioned way than over Zoom.	1.1628	0.04637	86	74	10	2
6547	Ok .. You can keep the dog leash and dog bowl.. but he wants the house, your retirement pension and the Ferrari…	1.1628	0.04924	86	75	8	3
6548	In light of the tight labor market, as part of my final offer I am willing to throw in an apology for the past seventy years of asshatted leadership at F.T. & Sons.	1.1628	0.04004	86	72	14	0
6549	It's a restraining order. You went too far commanding Rex to beg and play dead." JLS, Minnesot	1.1628	0.04332	86	73	12	1
6550	My client says, now you know what it's like to get the rough end of the stick!	1.1628	0.04924	86	75	8	3
6551	All he's leaving you is the doghouse.	1.1628	0.04332	86	73	12	1
6552	He insists you keep your wife´s custody	1.1628	0.04637	86	74	10	2
6553	In your review of Rusty please use words he can understand.	1.1628	0.04924	86	75	8	3
6554	We’re willing to split the dog house fifty-fifty.	1.1625	0.04151	80	67	13	0
6555	he'll agree to limited culpability and to share cleaning costs of the rug if you'll agree to abstain from use of the rolled-up newspaper in the event of future similar incidents.	1.1625	0.04853	80	69	9	2
6556	If you would just put your paw print here, please.	1.1625	0.04853	80	69	9	2
6557	As you've probably guessed, this position requires exceptional begging skills.	1.1625	0.04516	80	68	11	1
6558	Your response to “woof?	1.1625	0.05467	80	71	5	4
6559	We’re good except for the fetching and rolling over requirements on line 14.	1.1625	0.04516	80	68	11	1
6560	Can you please write an essay explaining why you think you are entitled to a livable wage?	1.1625	0.04853	80	69	9	2
6561	He agrees to your custody of the cat.	1.1625	0.04516	80	68	11	1
6562	Now you write down three things that bug you about Rags.	1.1625	0.04151	80	67	13	0
6563	So we're agreed; my client gets custody of the puppies.	1.1625	0.04853	80	69	9	2
6564	You can keep the apartment. My client only asks for ball fetching and tummy rubs on weekends.	1.1625	0.04853	80	69	9	2
6565	I'm sorry, I can't represent both of you.	1.1625	0.04516	80	68	11	1
6566	Tag, I have COVID -- you're it.	1.1625	0.04516	80	68	11	1
6567	You're in the doghouse - resignation please!	1.1625	0.04516	80	68	11	1
6568	He won't agree to removing the clause.	1.1625	0.04853	80	69	9	2
6569	This provision covers the family dog house, which is now yours.	1.1625	0.05169	80	70	7	3
6570	Sparky wants to ensure that you received all your Covid-19 vaccinations. Wait a second, who's rescuing who ?	1.1625	0.04853	80	69	9	2
6571	So it’s settled then. He gets the kids in the summer and you’ll alternate Christmas and Thanksgiving.	1.1622	0.04724	74	63	10	1
6572	My client also demands his own private bathroom and different food for each meal. Only once these needs are met will my client be willing to ‘sit’ and ‘’be a good boy.’	1.1622	0.04724	74	63	10	1
6573	This affidavit stating that your name is also Skippy Rottenheimer is somewhat suspect.	1.1622	0.04724	74	63	10	1
6574	It’s like a pre-nup; it’s a pre-pup	1.1622	0.04724	74	63	10	1
6575	Just sign the papers, Eric. He doesn't want to be with you anymore.	1.1622	0.04724	74	63	10	1
6576	By signing this you admit to subjecting Fluffy to unwanted touching and submit your resignation.	1.1622	0.05101	74	64	8	2
6577	To make this adoption work, you're going to have to throw him a bone.	1.1622	0.04314	74	62	12	0
6578	Fido is a fiduciary.	1.1622	0.04314	74	62	12	0
6579	Now, we've decided to respect the terms of the pre-pup	1.1622	0.04724	74	63	10	1
6580	What he really wants is to throw you out that window.	1.1618	0.04963	68	58	9	1
6581	Underdog already pledged his treats for next year, now it's your turn.	1.1618	0.04963	68	58	9	1
6582	This is the prepuptial agreement you must sign before adopting.	1.1618	0.04963	68	58	9	1
6583	Alfie has won Westminster, so you had better sign the papers.	1.1618	0.04963	68	58	9	1
6584	I can see from your resume that you	1.1618	0.04499	68	57	11	0
6585	He's a lot cheaper than you are and he doesn't ask embarrassing questions during meetings.	1.1618	0.05387	68	59	7	2
6586	Next, my client would like to discuss the frequency and duration of his daily walks.	1.1618	0.04499	68	57	11	0
6587	If you'll just read this, and then my assistant over here will help seal it.	1.1618	0.05387	68	59	7	2
6588	My client wants to feel like they are in good paws-erm, hands.	1.1618	0.04963	68	58	9	1
6589	My client takes serious offense to the idea that his status as your best friend is ‘generic.’	1.1616	0.03986	99	84	14	1
6590	Since you left everything to your dog years ago, he wants to provide for you now that his health issues are more serious than yours.	1.1616	0.03718	99	83	16	0
6591	Just sign here and we'll forget the whole incident.	1.1616	0.03986	99	84	14	1
6592	This is a most egregious case of alienation of affection. Here are photographs of you with Zorro: giving him a biscuit, scratching him behind the ears, letting him kiss your face, all the while knowing he was Lulu's partner, now my client.	1.1616	0.04473	99	86	10	3
6593	We're sorry Bob, but Rex simply doesn't see your doggie carrying skills as being up to snuff. Here are his severance terms Bob. Take it or leave it Bob.	1.1616	0.03986	99	84	14	1
6594	There were abandonment issues…you had me on a Quinoa and Keto diet. That merits cruel and unusual punishment per our Canine Commandments	1.1613	0.04402	93	80	11	2
6595	Now, with regard to the division of assets,…	1.1613	0.04402	93	80	11	2
6596	We're sorry, but he's agreed to work for treats and the occasional 'Who's a good boy?'.	1.1613	0.04128	93	79	13	1
6597	Ace of Spades says you stay	1.1613	0.03835	93	78	15	0
6598	My client refuses to sign the separation agreement unless she gets exclusive rights to the dog-walker	1.1613	0.03835	93	78	15	0
6599	We've chosen Fluffy over you because he knows how to lie.	1.1613	0.04660	93	81	9	3
6600	When we said "She gets the house," we didn't mean the doghouse.	1.1613	0.05723	62	54	6	2
6601	The adoption will be official just as soon as you sign the prepuptual agreement.	1.1613	0.04402	93	80	11	2
6602	He wants to negotiate a settlement regarding the custodial details before the adoption is finalized	1.1609	0.04286	87	74	12	1
6603	Don't worry, he's registered.	1.1609	0.04286	87	74	12	1
6604	The Dog Parent Paternity suit is now dissolved. Please sign on the dotted line giving Fido his freedom.	1.1609	0.03962	87	73	14	0
6605	You'll be translating at his next bow wow.	1.1609	0.04588	87	75	10	2
6606	Rufus is willing to tell you where he buried your spatula in the backyard, but you must first meet his demands.	1.1609	0.04286	87	74	12	1
6607	He's citing irreconcilable differences.	1.1609	0.03962	87	73	14	0
6608	So by signing this document you agree that Rover can poop anywhere in the house and you will clean it up without comment.	1.1609	0.03962	87	73	14	0
6609	You need a pen? Even the dog brought a pen.	1.1609	0.04870	87	76	8	3
6610	This should cover the pre-nup	1.1609	0.03962	87	73	14	0
6611	He hates the name Bailey.	1.1609	0.04588	87	75	10	2
6612	Your separation agreement.	1.1609	0.03962	87	73	14	0
6613	My client’s final offer on your rec center, the last property she needs to raze the block for commercial occupancy. We’d hate for something bad to happen to those kids muwahaha—SHIT I meant to say something RUFF to happen DAMMIT pretend I said it!	1.1605	0.05109	81	71	7	3
6614	It's a crapshoot: milk hand; sandwich hand:? .	1.1605	0.04464	81	69	11	1
6615	For the sake of diversity, we kinda like the dog, but you may as well submit your CV.	1.1605	0.04464	81	69	11	1
6616	We have translated for you in case you don	1.1605	0.04104	81	68	13	0
6617	My client says 'woof'.	1.1605	0.04797	81	70	9	2
6618	OK, now let's hear what 'you' think the problem is.	1.1605	0.04104	81	68	13	0
6619	I know you want me to sign the divorce papers but I still want to bone you!	1.1605	0.04104	81	68	13	0
6620	It’s been a ruff year.	1.1605	0.04464	81	69	11	1
6621	How much do you know about canine principles?	1.1605	0.04464	81	69	11	1
6622	This is power of attorney for Kennel Care.... please paws for a moment.	1.1605	0.04464	81	69	11	1
6623	My client has written down a number. A number of "barks" that is.	1.1605	0.04464	81	69	11	1
6624	My assistant and I will be reviewing your responses to the following question. "Arrap, yap yap, ruff".	1.1605	0.04797	81	70	9	2
6625	You will still get every other weekend.	1.1605	0.04797	81	70	9	2
6626	Fido understands that lack of remuneration for expectations of future loyalty is grounds for a walk today.	1.1605	0.04797	81	70	9	2
6627	Look, consider yourself lucky - it's only the Penthouse...it could be a lot worse in this "dog eat dog" world	1.1605	0.04464	81	69	11	1
6628	...then this document binds you to hand over that steak in the freezer...	1.1600	0.04665	75	64	10	1
6629	It’s a NDA. No Dog Accusing.	1.1600	0.04665	75	64	10	1
6630	I'm afraid your lack of diversity isn't in your favor. Mr Rex is ideally looking for another terrier to be our sales manager.	1.1600	0.04665	75	64	10	1
6631	Now, write down what you believe Rusty is thinking.	1.1600	0.05383	75	66	6	3
6632	You’re hired! His food’s over there.	1.1600	0.04197	100	86	12	2
6633	He's your boss now. Sign the papers, get him some treats, trot on down to your dog bed and get some work done.	1.1600	0.04262	75	63	12	0
6634	‘Pre-puptial agreement?’ No, I can’t say I’ve ever heard that one before.	1.1600	0.04262	75	63	12	0
6635	Whiskers gets the one you don't pick	1.1600	0.05037	75	65	8	2
6636	Your dog has filed an arrest warrant against you	1.1600	0.04431	100	87	10	3
6637	Ignore the dog. We couldn't get the elephant on the elevator.	1.1600	0.05037	75	65	8	2
6638	My client is prepared to offer you the house in Scarsdale, the pied-à-terre in Manhattan and all retirement assets in exchange for the house shoe, the bones in the backyard and ALL the kibble.	1.1600	0.03949	100	87	11	2
6639	But he loves me.	1.1600	0.04262	75	63	12	0
6640	I’m sorry sir, you’re being put up for ownership.	1.1600	0.03949	100	85	14	1
6641	And this is a waiver of all your rights and privileges, which you're required to sign as a condition of your employment.	1.1600	0.04262	75	63	12	0
6642	We're prepared to offer you 60 Ks and four 9s.	1.1600	0.04262	75	63	12	0
6643	This is the number from CFO Fido Bowser.	1.1596	0.04088	94	80	13	1
6644	And lastly, my client requires a lifetime supply of chicken jerky.	1.1596	0.04358	94	81	11	2
6645	Here are the terms to his Man’s Best Friend agreement.	1.1596	0.04358	94	81	11	2
6646	My client & I would like you to sign this Muzzle Agr..I mean Non-Disclosure Agreement.	1.1596	0.04358	94	81	11	2
6647	You keep the house and she keeps the backyard.	1.1596	0.04088	94	80	13	1
6648	Your comments are welcome, after you review this evaluation from the canine corps.	1.1596	0.04613	94	82	9	3
6649	Well, my client would like to restrict her unconditional love based on this signed agreement.	1.1596	0.04088	94	80	13	1
6650	And when you've found the bone, just come straight back here and hand in your application.	1.1596	0.03797	94	79	15	0
6651	Fido wanted me to let you know that he has decided to stay with the company.	1.1596	0.04358	94	81	11	2
6652	She says you can have the leash and water dish.	1.1594	0.04439	69	58	11	0
6653	The terms are simple. He keeps the house and you keep the bone and ball.	1.1593	0.04086	113	98	12	3
6654	The shell game	1.1591	0.04539	88	76	10	2
6655	My client believes it us I	1.1591	0.03921	88	74	14	0
6656	She insists that you agree to keeping her past the end of the holiday season, even if it is inconvenient at times	1.1591	0.03921	88	74	14	0
6657	He's our new quality control officer so I'm afraid you have become redundant. Thank you for your years of service.	1.1591	0.03921	88	74	14	0
6658	She's tired of being at your fetch and call all the time. It's a Dog Gonner Agreement.	1.1591	0.04818	88	77	8	3
6659	Yes, he might be your best friend, but you are not his. All Fido wants is the kibble and his bowl.	1.1591	0.04539	88	76	10	2
6660	Now that you've signed your will, his is next	1.1591	0.04539	88	76	10	2
6661	As you can see, my client did not eat the homework.	1.1591	0.05082	88	78	6	4
6662	Just your basic Non-disclosure statement. Please sign just above the paw print.	1.1591	0.04241	88	75	12	1
6663	Now you write down your first impressions of him.	1.1591	0.04241	88	75	12	1
6664	He says we can offer you this much and a chauffeur.	1.1591	0.04241	88	75	12	1
6665	You see, the advertising industry is a real dog-eat-dog world	1.1591	0.04241	88	75	12	1
6666	Take it or leave it. Witness can prove it.	1.1591	0.04241	88	75	12	1
6667	Welcome back to the office. You remember Fido from our Zoom meetings? Anyway, we're reviewing the dress code with everyone. We can be have all our creature comforts from WFH after all!	1.1591	0.04539	88	76	10	2
6668	He will agree to the adoption but only under his terms.	1.1591	0.04818	88	77	8	3
6669	He said, ' FETCH THIS ' . We'll be in touch, thanks for coming by." please submi	1.1589	0.04017	107	92	13	2
6670	Haven't you heard of the laws concerning dogvorce?	1.1589	0.03791	107	91	15	1
6671	He's demanding three walks a day, two meals per day, 5 trips to the dog park per week, and his own cozy bed.	1.1589	0.03791	107	91	15	1
6672	My client offers this leaf of 24-weight Belgian calfskin parchment. Surely you’ll agree that this more than compensates you for the birthday card from your grammy that he pooped on.	1.1587	0.05163	63	54	8	1
6673	Clause 3.1: Yes, he is still a Good Boy.	1.1585	0.04058	82	69	13	0
6674	Yeah - He's got a bone to pick with you.	1.1585	0.04058	82	69	13	0
6675	This is neither a heads nor a tails decision !	1.1585	0.04058	82	69	13	0
6676	To be legal it requires both signatures.	1.1585	0.04414	82	70	11	1
6677	I'm sorry. He alerted to pineapple on pizza on your resume."	1.1585	0.04414	82	70	11	1
6678	It would have been a lot simpler if you hadn’t signed that pre-pup agreement	1.1585	0.04414	82	70	11	1
6679	He's willing to settle for two dog bones and a slab of meat.	1.1585	0.04414	82	70	11	1
6680	I't's called a pre-puptual.	1.1585	0.04743	82	71	9	2
6681	Please update your data to linkedin, your opponent has a much richer profile.	1.1585	0.04414	82	70	11	1
6682	Fido wants the house in the settlement--the appraiser told him it has good bones.	1.1585	0.04414	82	70	11	1
6683	By signing this document, you agree that my client has a right to keep the collar.	1.1585	0.04414	82	70	11	1
6684	Luna instructed me to tell you-the doghouse is not negotiable"	1.1585	0.04414	82	70	11	1
6685	My client requests that you submit to a DNA test to determine if you are truly his birth father.	1.1585	0.04414	82	70	11	1
6686	My client would like you to cease and desist from posting his likeness on your Instagram feed immediately.	1.1585	0.04414	82	70	11	1
6687	My companion will hire you under certain circumstances, including proximity to a park and possession of a dozen tennis balls.	1.1585	0.04743	82	71	9	2
6688	By signing this you agree to come back to the office five days a week and not complain about the break room coffee.	1.1585	0.05050	82	72	7	3
6689	Yes,I realize the irony of this settlement you are agreeing to. In this case the world really is going to the dog.	1.1585	0.04743	82	71	9	2
6690	If you're unwilling to accept this offer to settle then I'm sure the media will be interested in a man bites dog story.	1.1585	0.04058	82	69	13	0
6691	Our lawyer wants you to put your paw print next to the X.	1.1585	0.04414	82	70	11	1
6692	I asked that you slobber and you didn't . Dog gets the job.	1.1585	0.05340	82	73	5	4
6693	Now, support will include 2 daily servings of wet food and alternate Sundays in the dog park with a walker of Buddy's choosing.	1.1584	0.03651	101	85	16	0
6694	My cleint claims it's been three years since he's had his day.	1.1579	0.04048	95	81	13	1
6695	Although he says you've been a good owner, he just needs more space	1.1579	0.04211	76	64	12	0
6696	Dog leaves all to you if you sign this.	1.1579	0.04316	95	82	11	2
6697	Fluffy is offering her homework for you to eat in good faith.	1.1579	0.04975	76	66	8	2
6698	Now you’re the one in the doghouse.	1.1579	0.04975	76	66	8	2
6699	Sign this and once your divorce from Fido is complete, you agree you'll have joint custody of your spouse.	1.1579	0.04608	76	65	10	1
6700	Fido has agreed to chew up these photos of you petting the other dog as soon as you've signed.	1.1579	0.04316	95	82	11	2
6701	A man in a suit sliding a piece of paper to another man	1.1579	0.04211	76	64	12	0
6702	yes, once you sign this separation agreement, you will no longer have to pick up 'Willies' poo.	1.1579	0.04048	95	81	13	1
6703	My client needs your signature in order to officially change his name to ‘Good Boy’.	1.1579	0.04316	95	82	11	2
6704	You’re free to go after signing this NDA regarding our policy letting Mr. Ruff to sleep as long as he wishes.	1.1579	0.04608	76	65	10	1
6705	What my client is trying to say is “arf arf woof woof.”	1.1579	0.04211	76	64	12	0
6706	Take a look. this is his last offer	1.1579	0.04975	76	66	8	2
6707	She wants the following community property: chew rope toy valued at $9.99, frisbee $15.99, water dish $11.99, and the CryptoPunk NFT valued at $78 million.	1.1579	0.04316	95	82	11	2
6708	He knows you still have bones about it but he will refuses to roll over and he wants you to shake on it.	1.1579	0.04316	95	82	11	2
6709	Your skills and experience are an excellent fit for the position,but I'm afraid you didn't pass the sniff test.	1.1579	0.05316	76	67	6	3
6710	Spot is filing for emancipation.	1.1579	0.04211	76	64	12	0
6711	…before we can complete the adoption process my client asks that you sign this document, it’s a kind of “pre-nup for adoptions”.	1.1573	0.04197	89	76	12	1
6712	Now write your handwriting to compare with the dog's.	1.1573	0.04197	89	76	12	1
6713	Now, let's play a 3 card Monty version of how to divorce Wooster	1.1573	0.04491	89	77	10	2
6714	If you sign here, your joint custody over the squeaky chicken is settled.	1.1573	0.04197	89	76	12	1
6715	He says he’s a “good boy”; and that he deserves the entire treat.	1.1573	0.04491	89	77	10	2
6716	No bones about it is your final answer?	1.1573	0.04491	89	77	10	2
6717	Listen Dave, we all know who’s driving your recent surge in Instagram popularity. So, unless you wanna you go back to rolling the dice with pics of your wardrobe, here’s what it’s gonna take if you want to keep those likes comin’	1.1573	0.04491	89	77	10	2
6718	Please make a paper plane that will travel across the room. If you can do this, you'll have a job as a pilot at Dreamy Airlines.	1.1573	0.03352	89	76	13	0
6719	She didn't mean the doghouse.	1.1573	0.04197	89	76	12	1
6720	He is willing to give up 3am bathroom calls if you can get him alone time with the new dog next door.	1.1573	0.03881	89	75	14	0
6721	Mr.Fluffy requests the names of any other pets you been intimate with,before he signs the prenup "	1.1573	0.04491	89	77	10	2
6722	It’s a non-disclosure agreement stating you never saw him poop.	1.1573	0.04767	89	78	8	3
6723	You are agreeing to switch roles so as to better understand him, but you will pick up your own poop.	1.1573	0.04767	89	78	8	3
6724	You should just be grateful he agreed to the no-fault Covid divorce.	1.1571	0.04831	70	60	9	1
6725	It says here that unless you change the dog food to fresh and organic Spot wants full custody of the puppies.	1.1571	0.04831	70	60	9	1
6726	It’s not really a competition. Just check the “Yes” box at the question “Can you fetch?”	1.1571	0.04831	70	60	9	1
6727	Sign and let's keep this amicable; all she wants is the cat.	1.1571	0.04831	70	60	9	1
6728	He doesn’t hear well so you’ll have to write down your questions.	1.1571	0.05242	70	61	7	2
6729	If you would rephrase commands as mere suggestions, he would consider new boundaries for toiletry needs.	1.1571	0.05242	70	61	7	2
6730	This gives you visitation rights to the puppies. " By Tom Sievers	1.1571	0.04381	70	59	11	0
6731	We’ve all grown fond of Fido here, but your annual review stinks	1.1571	0.05242	70	61	7	2
6732	Best-friends be damned. He wants 50% of your assets.	1.1569	0.04350	102	89	10	3
6733	Ponies are tough to get here in the city. Perhaps they'll give you an exemption for your new show.	1.1566	0.04364	83	71	11	1
6734	It’s true, he has a perfect right to palimony. You always called him your best pal.	1.1566	0.04014	83	70	13	0
6735	The test begins now. Our proctor, Mr. Rover, will give you sections two and three.	1.1566	0.04364	83	71	11	1
6736	She gets the doggy house on the beach, sticks included, and you get the condo in the city.	1.1566	0.04014	83	70	13	0
6737	Before you are allowed to return home you will need to agree to my clients list of demands.	1.1566	0.04364	83	71	11	1
6738	Who farted?	1.1566	0.04689	83	72	9	2
6739	My client will reimburse you for your shoe, in exchange for a pair of old sandals.	1.1566	0.04014	83	70	13	0
6740	Rufus insists that he gets ALL the bowls.	1.1566	0.04689	83	72	9	2
6741	This NDA prohibits you from ever discussing my client's alleged butt sniffing.	1.1566	0.04364	83	71	11	1
6742	You're adopted - Charlie the dog's attorney	1.1566	0.04992	83	73	7	3
6743	My client requests the house, five years of alimony, and a belly rub.	1.1566	0.04364	83	71	11	1
6744	It depends what you mean by best in breed.	1.1566	0.04364	83	71	11	1
6745	Is that not you with the Cockapoo? " "She wants the Dog House and the Walker	1.1566	0.04364	83	71	11	1
6746	If you treat the pooch well, he may leave you some of his inheritance.	1.1566	0.04014	83	70	13	0
6747	He'll bark when you're faking it.	1.1566	0.04014	83	70	13	0
6748	Although, you only had three references and not five references, and one didn't call back, and you never had a dog before, Cat's, etc. thinks that you'd be the best fit for Everett, considering that you are willing to pay the $1,200 adoption fee.	1.1566	0.04364	83	71	11	1
6749	This this final offer... Woof it or weave it	1.1566	0.04992	83	73	7	3
6750	And my client asks that you stay six feet away from him, as well as wear a mask.	1.1566	0.04014	83	70	13	0
6751	After you complete this psychological evaluation, my assistant here will administer a drug test.	1.1562	0.04523	96	84	9	3
6752	He wants the house and says you can have the dog house.	1.1562	0.04009	96	82	13	1
6753	The dog says he’s leaving it all to you. But first you have to get rid of his owner.	1.1562	0.04575	64	54	10	0
6754	My client is willing to give you custody of the lady.	1.1558	0.05250	77	68	6	3
6755	I realize he can’t play, but the piano is still on his list. To keep it fair, you can list his prized positions.	1.1558	0.04161	77	65	12	0
6756	Tell me now how you can out-do his market share.	1.1558	0.04161	77	65	12	0
6757	So Coco gets full access to the couch and your shoes don't get shat in.	1.1558	0.04914	77	67	8	2
6758	And finally, $225,000 for nonconsensual belly rubbing and $150,000 for leash over-tightening.	1.1558	0.04161	77	65	12	0
6759	You can have the bones, he wants the sticks.”	1.1558	0.04553	77	66	10	1
6760	Keep your eye on the fair settlement—don’t blink—always on the fair settlement.	1.1558	0.04914	77	67	8	2
6761	Arf, arf,arfarfarf!!	1.1558	0.04914	77	67	8	2
6762	Ok, the job is yours unless the card the pooch picked is a joker.	1.1558	0.04161	77	65	12	0
6763	As a dog-whispering mediator, I can tell you he thought you arranged this meeting because you were upset about the meat he ate.	1.1558	0.04553	77	66	10	1
6764	Sir, I’m just going to need you to sign this paper verifying that the accused good boy to my left did not, in fact, pee on the prime minister’s rose bush.	1.1558	0.04914	77	67	8	2
6765	You're definitely not suited for the job.	1.1558	0.04553	77	66	10	1
6766	Ahhh.. dog days am I right?” Olivia Xu, New York City, N.Y	1.1558	0.04914	77	67	8	2
6767	She gets the apartment, alimony and fulltime help. She also has overnight visitation with the children every other weekend.	1.1558	0.04161	77	65	12	0
6768	You sign, Rockwell licks to show its ink.	1.1558	0.04553	77	66	10	1
6769	Sign, then bark three times	1.1558	0.04161	77	65	12	0
6770	My client says that when you began your relationship in 2020, it was implicitly understood that you would only leave the house to walk him.	1.1556	0.03842	90	76	14	0
6771	We've replaced the Rorschach with the Ruffach test	1.1556	0.04717	90	79	8	3
6772	I'm sorry Mr Walklater, but the economy's been ruff lately.	1.1556	0.04444	90	78	10	2
6773	My advice is to a certain accept her offer and move on with your life	1.1556	0.04154	90	77	12	1
6774	You can kiss that woof over your head goodbye.	1.1556	0.04154	90	77	12	1
6775	sign here and you and your wife are divorced	1.1556	0.03842	90	76	14	0
6776	Mr. Saverin? My client, Bark Zuckerberg, is ready to settle.	1.1556	0.04717	90	79	8	3
6777	Say your goodbyes to Poochy, Mr. Franklin, and remember some of us can always buy happiness.	1.1556	0.04154	90	77	12	1
6778	And this one stipulates that Mr. Bojangles here has custody over the tennis balls and Paddington Bear.	1.1556	0.04444	90	78	10	2
6779	Prenups are never easy to sign.	1.1556	0.04444	90	78	10	2
6780	He can't agree that	1.1556	0.04154	90	77	12	1
6781	His demands are ironclad.	1.1556	0.04444	90	78	10	2
6782	Be a good boy, Jimmy.	1.1556	0.04154	90	77	12	1
6783	Or, in his case licked his last window.	1.1553	0.03843	103	88	14	1
6784	He'll settle for only 2 days back in the office.	1.1553	0.03587	103	87	16	0
6785	Let's try some scratch and sniff ones......	1.1549	0.04325	71	60	11	0
6786	OK, I spoke to my manger and this is the best we can do: two weeks severance and we will let you keep the coffee cup we issued you when you were hired.	1.1549	0.04325	71	60	11	0
6787	Welcome aboard. He gets walked twice a day and eats in the boardroom except on the day of our stockholders' meeting.	1.1549	0.04767	71	61	9	1
6788	My client believes he has been underpaid the Christmas bonus despite performing consistently well at the 'Good boy' contest all year long.	1.1549	0.05172	71	62	7	2
6789	Rover is asking for a Legal Separation, but with full visiting rights.	1.1549	0.04767	71	61	9	1
6790	Yes, our law firm specialises in these 'predogs', and I suggest upgrading to a '2 Smackos a day- bite the postman' clause	1.1549	0.05172	71	62	7	2
6791	He did identify some areas where you could improve your performance. Would you like to respond?	1.1549	0.05172	71	62	7	2
6792	In addition, your behavior violated Human Resource policies as well.	1.1549	0.05172	71	62	7	2
6793	Thanks for accepting to meet me today. Your dog let me know that you didn't give him enough biscuits. Something will have to be done.	1.1549	0.04767	71	61	9	1
6794	I'm sure that you will finds his terms for separation to be very agreeable.	1.1549	0.04325	71	60	11	0
6795	He wants to keep the pool.	1.1548	0.03970	84	71	13	0
6796	Please write down your account of the alleged use of the "B" word.	1.1548	0.04316	84	72	11	1
6797	Bark once if you agree, twice if you don't.	1.1548	0.04637	84	73	9	2
6798	You get the "house" house while he gets the "doghouse" house.	1.1548	0.03385	84	72	12	0
6799	Mr. Smith, we feel that you are asking for too much. Our proposal is that you will get walks every other day and the kids, to play with, every other weekend.	1.1548	0.03970	84	71	13	0
6800	And if you could complete this final form outlining your ‘walkies’ experience, you’ll be free to go.	1.1548	0.04316	84	72	11	1
6801	He demands you emend the waggly-tail clause.	1.1548	0.04316	84	72	11	1
6802	I suggest you take this generous severance package but quite frankly, you were never a good fit with our aggressive, carnivorous acquisition strategy.	1.1548	0.04637	84	73	9	2
6803	You’re the tiebreaker. Do we get the kittens?	1.1548	0.04936	84	74	7	3
6804	She wants joint custody	1.1548	0.04316	84	72	11	1
6805	According to fido, he wants all of his motion picture incomes to go to his pups. Sorry bout that."	1.1548	0.04637	84	73	9	2
6806	Bruno is emancipating himself from you, because he doesn't believe in flea shots. He believes it his right, as a canine to be free from such Tiranny. You will, however still have to feed him kibble twice daily.	1.1548	0.04316	84	72	11	1
6807	He wants more treats.	1.1548	0.03970	84	71	13	0
6808	My business associate, here, seems to think that you don't know how to throw the ball.	1.1548	0.04637	84	73	9	2
6809	My client would like your agreement to giving him a doggie treat in writing before he shakes a paw.	1.1548	0.04316	84	72	11	1
6810	The Kitty Clause	1.1546	0.03971	97	83	13	1
6811	You can no longer make it here in New York. I would suggest you look at Florida or Texas.	1.1546	0.03971	97	83	13	1
6812	Sign this to finalize your divorce; you promise to feed her until she finds a new owner.	1.1538	0.04855	78	68	8	2
6813	FiFi gets the house and you get to bend over and take it like a good boy.	1.1538	0.04112	91	78	12	1
6814	She wants the doghouse and $500,000. You can keep the chew toys.	1.1538	0.04112	91	78	12	1
6815	My client prefers to think of you as the good boy.	1.1538	0.04855	78	68	8	2
6816	I think you'll find that this is just your standard pre-puptual agreement, looking out for Coco's best interests, should the unthinkable happen...	1.1538	0.04498	78	67	10	1
6817	Look, we'd all like this to remain amicable, but my client sees no reason to concede 50% of the chew toys.	1.1538	0.04112	78	66	12	0
6818	Put your paw print right here	1.1538	0.04112	78	66	12	0
6819	That's the wrong bitch!	1.1538	0.04855	78	68	8	2
6820	Think of it as a pre-nuptial agreement.	1.1538	0.04498	78	67	10	1
6821	Your dog has opted, going forward, to do make all his statements through me.	1.1538	0.05015	65	56	8	1
6822	Let's get this dog show over with.	1.1538	0.04112	91	78	12	1
6823	He says YOU should be "Good Boy" and accept the offer to buyout his equity in the doghouse.	1.1538	0.03803	91	77	14	0
6824	The Dog gets to choose between you and your ex. It is in the Pre-dog agreement.	1.1538	0.03803	91	77	14	0
6825	He does everything you do here, and he works for kibble.	1.1538	0.04112	91	78	12	1
6826	Take a look then he'll pur over the papers	1.1538	0.04399	91	79	10	2
6827	Pick the pile with your bonus check.	1.1538	0.04399	91	79	10	2
6828	Now I‘m going to switch all the piles around. Keep your eye on the one you signed. If you can choose the pile with your W-4 form in it, you’ve got the job.	1.1538	0.04855	78	68	8	2
6829	This stipulates that Ruff will allow you to remain on the property as long as you continue to maintain it, prepare his meals, and go walkies with him.	1.1538	0.04498	78	67	10	1
6830	I think you'll see that an amicable separation with puppymony is the best course of action for all parties concerned.	1.1538	0.04855	78	68	8	2
6831	We decided to hire Esti as our new HR Director for her unconditional loyalty.	1.1538	0.04498	78	67	10	1
6832	He wants a new leash!	1.1538	0.04498	78	67	10	1
6833	This is Exhibit B, which proves that Snowball is, in fact, a good boy.	1.1538	0.04112	78	66	12	0
6834	As part of our new year resolution & continual improvement, this corporate strongly moving ahead with replacing existing work force with more thankful new faces!	1.1538	0.04112	91	78	12	1
6835	No walks before 7am and the hydrant stays.	1.1538	0.04112	91	78	12	1
6836	Due to his recent increase of 10 followers, Mr. Good Boy would like you to sign this giving you full control of the financials in exchange of him getting 24/7 access to the treat drawer.	1.1538	0.04855	78	68	8	2
6837	Sorry, but he keeps the dog house.	1.1538	0.04399	91	79	10	2
6838	It's a standard Puppy Prenup as my client joyfully commits to be man's "best" friend.	1.1538	0.04498	78	67	10	1
6839	Here is the dog that you should take care in the future. You will be paid better than your former job.	1.1538	0.04112	78	66	12	0
6840	In this divorce proceeding,my client asks for only one thing...a best friend. As this has not been possible, he will instead accept the lake house in Maine, and the penthouse you can probably see just over my right shoulder.	1.1538	0.04399	91	79	10	2
6841	Glen, I think if you look at the terms Daisy has put forth, you’ll find they’re actually quite generous.	1.1538	0.04112	91	78	12	1
6842	She wants a divorce based on irreconcilable differences."	1.1538	0.04855	78	68	8	2
6843	Congrats you are now the city poop collector.	1.1529	0.04269	85	73	11	1
6844	Breakups can be ruff	1.1529	0.03927	85	72	13	0
6845	He’s willing to concede to letting you have the house and the car but demands a lifetime supply of doggie treats and three belly rubs a week.	1.1529	0.03927	85	72	13	0
6846	We have a comPETitive 401k(9) plan.	1.1529	0.04269	85	73	11	1
6847	Before signing, let's review the key provisions Fido has provided for your Master Contract.	1.1529	0.03927	85	72	13	0
6848	Your signature here gives the doghouse and your recliner to Fluffy.	1.1529	0.04269	85	73	11	1
6849	We don't require every employee to wear pants on Casual Fridays, Joe, but you should.	1.1529	0.04585	85	74	9	2
6850	My client wants the house in the city and in exchange, you are to move to the farm upstate.	1.1529	0.03927	85	72	13	0
6851	I just don’t see cats really thriving in this environment.	1.1529	0.04881	85	75	7	3
6852	I wouldn’t sign it — it’s just doggerel.	1.1529	0.04881	85	75	7	3
6853	Therefore, in lieu of a golden parachute, we’ve hired this golden retriever, who’s certified in giving comfort to those in great misery.	1.1529	0.04585	85	74	9	2
6854	Every dog will have his day.	1.1529	0.04881	85	75	7	3
6855	One red Queen, two black résumés, find the red lady…	1.1529	0.04269	85	73	11	1
6856	This is our standard NDA. Barking or biting habits are off-limits and pet food endorsements must be mutually agreed to. Under no circumstances can he be referred to as a 'comfort' animal or expected to pose as one.	1.1529	0.04269	85	73	11	1
6857	Rowdy has already signed on.	1.1529	0.03927	85	74	10	1
6858	He wants to make sure that you understand that HE owns you.	1.1529	0.04269	85	73	11	1
6859	And you will be the exutor of Rex’s estate.	1.1528	0.04270	72	61	11	0
6860	Because you were unfaithful, Buster requires the house and an unlimited supply of Kibble as his terms for the separation.	1.1528	0.04706	72	62	9	1
6861	My client Fluffy would like a divorce, and insists on keeping half of your old socks.	1.1528	0.04270	72	61	11	0
6862	Here’s your copy of the pooper scooper protocols, Additional copies will be sent to every neighbor on your street.	1.1528	0.04706	72	62	9	1
6863	Snowy wants the Lign Roset sofa but is willing to concede the Home Theatre system for the sake of a peaceful settlement between the parties	1.1528	0.04706	72	62	9	1
6864	Buster demands 45% bed real estate. That is his final offer.	1.1528	0.04706	72	62	9	1
6865	And he wants you to have sole custody of the cat.	1.1528	0.05474	72	64	5	3
6866	I fought the dog, and the dog won	1.1528	0.04706	72	62	9	1
6867	My client is citing a clear dereliction of doodee.	1.1528	0.04706	72	62	9	1
6868	Heads YOU get the job, tails YOU get the job!	1.1525	0.03734	118	102	14	2
6869	He objects to the use of the term 'dog house.'	1.1524	0.03775	105	90	14	1
6870	You’ll each have 20 minutes to complete this test. The best score wins the job.	1.1522	0.04070	92	79	12	1
6871	Why don’t we pause before the separation is final?	1.1522	0.03765	92	78	14	0
6872	Nameless peasant data point or exploited slave labor--the choice is yours...um, no--it's actually ours.	1.1522	0.04354	92	80	10	2
6873	….and Ralph, you agree to joint custody of Miss Fluffy and Mister Buster.	1.1522	0.04070	92	79	12	1
6874	So Bob, do you agree to waiver all visitation rights?	1.1522	0.04070	92	79	12	1
6875	If you want your wife alternate weekends, you pay for scoop/play/love.	1.1522	0.03765	92	78	14	0
6876	He'd much prefer Oscar to Tippy but he'll only accept a room with a view of the park.	1.1519	0.04797	79	69	8	2
6877	Keep it simple, the guy on my left has to understand it.	1.1519	0.04797	79	69	8	2
6878	Sorry, you are demoted because you didn't bring your dog to work today!	1.1519	0.05124	79	70	6	3
6879	Here are Fido's "must-haves" in order to move to a new apartment.	1.1519	0.04797	79	69	8	2
6880	The demands are 3 walks a day and a more nutritional diet.	1.1519	0.04064	79	67	12	0
6881	He will accept 2.5 walks per day and that is his final offer	1.1519	0.04064	79	67	12	0
6882	Foregoing poop pickup is a non-negotiable.	1.1519	0.04445	79	68	10	1
6883	Two walks, and three belly rubs.	1.1519	0.04064	79	67	12	0
6884	Here's his counter pooposal.	1.1519	0.04064	79	67	12	0
6885	''We are willing to offer you the apartment if you can grant us custody of the chew toys.'	1.1519	0.04797	79	69	8	2
6886	It seems we're in agreement then: You get to keep your cd collection and the dog gets the house.	1.1519	0.04064	79	67	12	0
6887	My client is willing to cease counter surfing, if the obedience training is dropped from paragraph 11.	1.1519	0.04445	79	68	10	1
6888	Our counsel suggests y you simply accept and sign. His bite is worse than his bark.	1.1519	0.05124	79	70	6	3
6889	Yes, this company will be literally 'going to the dogs', but I hope that you will find the unfortunate connotation to be unwarranted.	1.1519	0.04797	79	69	8	2
6890	TFW your bitch ex-wife hires a good lawyer.	1.1519	0.04797	79	69	8	2
6891	My advisor says the economy is too“ruff” right now.	1.1519	0.04445	79	68	10	1
6892	Per our reading of the prenuptials, Nancy does retain ownership of the dog. That she has also given him powers of attorney, however...well that's where the red flags start popping up.	1.1519	0.04797	79	69	8	2
6893	But I adopted you	1.1519	0.05124	79	70	6	3
6894	It's a dog- eat- dog world, Jeremy.	1.1519	0.04445	79	68	10	1
6895	Your pal wants your mony.	1.1519	0.04064	79	67	12	0
6896	You made it through two rounds of our interview, Dan. Now I'd like you to describe how do you understand the meaning of the phrase "work like a dog" in a few sentences.	1.1519	0.04064	79	67	12	0
6897	If you can just put your paw...er sign the document.	1.1519	0.04064	79	67	12	0
6898	My client rejects your demand of staying off the sofa and counters by offering to pay for a slipcover with face licks.	1.1519	0.04064	79	67	12	0
6899	I get the X's, you get the O's AND I get to go first.	1.1519	0.04445	79	68	10	1
6900	Your father left his fortune to Rex, so Rex is cutting you out of his will.	1.1519	0.04445	79	68	10	1
6901	It says right here in the pre-nep... treats for life.	1.1519	0.04064	79	67	12	0
6902	My client is requesting unlimited indoor/outdoor privileges in exchange for increased cuddles	1.1519	0.04797	79	69	8	2
6903	Scotty likes you, so just this contract and the job is yours.	1.1515	0.04152	99	86	11	2
6904	Ok, these are the three nicknames he’s allowed you to call him indoors and out.	1.1515	0.05811	66	59	4	3
6905	Rocky, our pet advisor, strongly recommends that your home loan include this no-leash clause.	1.1515	0.03896	99	85	13	1
6906	All the deposits in the backyard are going into a trust, and you’ll come into one weekly	1.1515	0.04622	99	88	7	4
6907	By all means fill out this the job application,but I have to warn you that the candidate opposite ticks every criteria in this company’s equal opportunity policy	1.1515	0.04152	99	86	11	2
6908	I'm sorry Larry, but even though you rescued Tinnie from a shelter, and were integral in her success with the RinTinTin spin-off, she DOES have the right to terminate you as her manager.	1.1512	0.04535	86	75	9	2
6909	We can agree to the 2-hour dog playtime and your sub-casual attire, but we draw the line at the on-site wine-making.	1.1512	0.03885	86	73	13	0
6910	The dog has submitted a complaint about sexual harassment by you.	1.1512	0.04223	86	74	11	1
6911	By signing this agreement, you agree to split all assets equally should either praty wish to vacate the partnership for any reason whatsoever.	1.1512	0.04223	86	74	11	1
6912	He's more of a too-good-for-you boy.	1.1512	0.04223	86	74	11	1
6913	Princess will get the doghouse, 10 bones a month, and your favorite slippers.	1.1512	0.04223	86	74	11	1
6914	Sign her if you agree that she gets the pool and the dog house.	1.1512	0.04223	86	74	11	1
6915	We need your decision in writing, sir.	1.1512	0.03516	86	74	12	0
6916	So we’re agreed. Twice daily walks, cheese on dry food 3 times a week and who’s a good boy should be heard frequently	1.1512	0.04535	86	75	9	2
6917	Listen Jim - my client Rex is insistent on four walks a day in the park - otherwise, this deal is headed for the doo-doo pile.	1.1512	0.04223	86	74	11	1
6918	So,we reached an agreement ; double walks on Sundays and 5 boops a week.	1.1512	0.04223	86	74	11	1
6919	We all know you tried. But you fell short. Let’s just deal with that.	1.1512	0.04827	86	76	7	3
6920	If you need when the dog Tell him sir	1.1512	0.04223	86	74	11	1
6921	Mr. Smith, Ozzie has agreed to visitation twice a year . You will pay for his bi-weekly spa treatment and psychiatric care as prescribed. Any questions?	1.1512	0.04535	86	75	9	2
6922	You should really reconsider the terms your dog laid out.	1.1512	0.04223	86	74	11	1
6923	If you agree not to bite him again,my client will drop his lawsuit.	1.1507	0.04216	73	62	11	0
6924	Dog sues man.	1.1507	0.05038	73	64	7	2
6925	SORRY, You've been replaced.	1.1507	0.04645	73	63	9	1
6926	Your dog wants a divorce.	1.1507	0.04645	73	63	9	1
6927	And now you. Sign and paw print on the bottom	1.1507	0.04645	73	63	9	1
6928	Now, Rover requests the following demands be met, or he will be signing these papers of emancipation.	1.1507	0.04645	73	63	9	1
6929	She says she wants the house.	1.1507	0.04645	73	63	9	1
6930	Fido signed. Now you sign and you'll work it out.	1.1505	0.04310	93	81	10	2
6931	We view this as a straightforward “dog bites man” case, thus the non-disclosure clause is merely a formality.	1.1505	0.03728	93	79	14	0
6932	Bark at the one your starting pay is under.	1.1504	0.03817	113	98	13	2
6933	My client would like you to review the updated conditions of pethood to include one scoop of dry food in the morning and one of wet food in the evening.	1.1500	0.04394	80	69	10	1
6934	After filling out form K-9 half the doggy house will be yours, also the summer doggy home in the good park. The toys , squeaky or not go to ' Mr. Bojangles' "	1.1500	0.03589	100	85	15	0
6935	It’s been such a treat having you in the office, but we aren’t ready to let you off the leash just yet.	1.1500	0.04113	100	87	11	2
6936	He’ll promise to not bark in the morning if you’ll agree to treats every other night after kibble.”	1.1500	0.03815	80	70	9	1
6937	His demands are pretty basic and there are only five.	1.1500	0.04394	80	69	10	1
6938	We can renegotiate after you're house-trained.	1.1500	0.04394	80	69	10	1
6939	And make sure you walk him three times a day.	1.1500	0.04740	80	70	8	2
6940	You keep the kids, she wants to dog.	1.1500	0.04113	100	87	11	2
6941	If you think about it,making your dog "executor" of your estate makes complete sense!	1.1500	0.04017	80	68	12	0
6942	Fido expects the division of assets in this divorce to be equal and equitable.	1.1500	0.04017	80	68	12	0
6943	He gets the dog house, but you can keep the dog bed.	1.1500	0.04394	80	69	10	1
6944	Eenie, Meanie, Minie, Moe!!	1.1500	0.04740	80	70	8	2
6945	He wants 100% of the back yard and all the bones.	1.1500	0.03860	100	86	13	1
6946	Bowser already made adjustments and signed this contract.	1.1500	0.04394	80	69	10	1
6947	The Algorithm thanks you for your service.	1.1500	0.04740	80	70	8	2
6948	Conversely, do take you take Fido to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, in joy and in sorrow, to love and to cherish, and to be faithful as long as you both shall live?	1.1500	0.04017	80	68	12	0
6949	In the Petnuptual Agreement,he demands three belly rubs a day,organic dog food,and an air conditioned dog house.	1.1500	0.03860	100	88	10	2
6950	Wouldn’t it make more sense if you and your emotional support animal were applying for a job on a lower floor?	1.1494	0.03844	87	74	13	0
6951	He's part of our new watchdog group. We just need You to sign this disclosure.	1.1494	0.03844	87	74	13	0
6952	'My client has agreed to pay all of the unpaid barking tickets!'	1.1494	0.04178	87	75	11	1
6953	She'll agree to a separation if she can still play with the children every weekend	1.1494	0.04486	87	76	9	2
6954	It’s blank because he can’t read. He just needs your signature and he’ll sign with his paw.	1.1494	0.04178	87	75	11	1
6955	He gets the dog house and support payments of $800 a month. You get visiting rights every other weekend Both of you sign here .	1.1494	0.03844	87	74	13	0
6956	Agree to work here in person or the dog gets the job.	1.1494	0.04178	87	75	11	1
6957	I heard you. You filed your purchase application on the Internet. You still have to pass the co-op board interview.	1.1494	0.05047	87	78	5	4
6958	Sign for your down pawment here.	1.1494	0.03844	87	74	13	0
6959	The terms are mostly ruff, but fair.	1.1494	0.04486	87	76	9	2
6960	It was a tough choice, Saunders; came down to how many more dozen mouths he's got to feed.	1.1494	0.04178	87	75	11	1
6961	Please list 5 reasons why you should be granted custody.	1.1494	0.03844	87	74	13	0
6962	Mr. Scruffles believes he’s entitled to 50% of the frequent flier miles.	1.1494	0.04178	87	75	11	1
6963	He’s more effective than a polygraph - the tail tells all.	1.1493	0.06110	67	61	2	4
6964	My client is asking for full custody of the kibble.	1.1493	0.04875	67	58	8	1
6965	No, you're the party of the Second part. He's the party of the First part.	1.1493	0.04386	67	57	10	0
6966	Lets hope you have a fraction of success with everything we throw at you!	1.1493	0.04386	67	57	10	0
6967	After you sign, the stipulation will be submitted to the Court. When approved, the separation will be final and you will be obligated to pay puppy support of $28 per month and Lulu will get $120 per month and be added to your medical policy.	1.1493	0.05318	67	59	6	2
6968	Officer Bowser and I will help you.	1.1489	0.03692	94	80	14	0
6969	My client is insisting on two walksies daily and fancier collar.	1.1489	0.03692	94	80	14	0
6970	Let’s play 3 card monte. One is you get a raise of $100,000. The other 2 - you’re fired. Pick one	1.1489	0.03692	94	80	14	0
6971	And this form makes sure Buddy will continue the lifestyle he has grown accustomed to after the divorce.	1.1489	0.04267	94	82	10	2
6972	My client would like daily belly rubs and treats, and, in turn will limit his accidents on the carpet. If you agree to the terms, please sign next to his signature.	1.1489	0.03990	94	81	12	1
6973	He says he will only take the job if we make you his PA. Something to do with turnabout and fair play.	1.1489	0.03692	94	80	14	0
6974	My client would like you to sign a simple "prepup" before moving in.	1.1486	0.04974	74	65	7	2
6975	He wishes to retain ownership of your wife but you may have weekly visitation and alternating Christmas and New Years each year.	1.1486	0.04164	74	63	11	0
6976	It's just your standard pre-adoption agreement.	1.1486	0.04164	74	63	11	0
6977	You can use some padding	1.1486	0.04587	74	64	9	1
6978	As your better friend, Rover wishes to leave you all his bones buried in the back yard.	1.1486	0.04164	74	63	11	0
6979	Ok, let's see if you can solve this problem in less than three minutes and beat Rusty	1.1486	0.04164	74	63	11	0
6980	Here’s the agreement: you, dog walker, will always were a suit and tie.	1.1486	0.04587	74	64	9	1
6981	Write down your dog's name, breed and sex so that our Director of Pet Friendly Friday can give final approval of your onboarding.	1.1486	0.04164	74	63	11	0
6982	Dogwalker, Dogwalker, walk me a dog	1.1486	0.04587	74	64	9	1
6983	It’s a standard non-disclosure agreement, stipulating that there will be no social media posts regarding Fluffy’s potty walks.	1.1486	0.04587	74	64	9	1
6984	My client is countersuing for lost walkies.	1.1486	0.03692	74	64	10	0
6985	Here’s Fido’s terms: he wants claim on visiting the park in the summer, his favorite purple leash, and a No Ruff clause where you cannot get another dog.	1.1485	0.03824	101	87	13	1
6986	We have your Power of Attorney. While the piano is sublimely played we request your Power of the Dog	1.1481	0.04343	81	70	10	1
6987	Just place your pawprint, sorry - handprint, here and the separation is finalized. Best of luck to you from both of us.	1.1481	0.04685	81	71	8	2
6988	He's insisting on sole custody of any and all pictures you may have taken together, and visitation rights for the inflatable toy poodle	1.1481	0.04343	81	70	10	1
6989	''Mooch waives his right for you to pick up his poop, provided you switch from kibble to ribeye."	1.1481	0.03972	81	69	12	0
6990	He’s made a list of his demands for the separation, now you do the same.	1.1481	0.05003	81	72	6	3
6991	Fido has pledged his tail-wagging loyalty to me.	1.1481	0.03972	81	69	12	0
6992	My client requests assurances that you will provide the required walks in the event that your children do not.	1.1481	0.04685	81	71	8	2
6993	Same autocrat, new owner.	1.1481	0.03972	81	69	12	0
6994	One butt sniff when dropping off the kids, is his final offer.	1.1481	0.04343	81	70	10	1
6995	My client is a dog.	1.1481	0.04343	81	70	10	1
6996	You get to keep the leash, dewormer and chew toys.	1.1481	0.03906	108	94	12	2
6997	As man's best friend, her commitment is to love, honor, and obey, but she still requests the standard pre-pup agreement.	1.1481	0.04343	81	70	10	1
6998	It took us ages to find out how to control humans, Mr. Anderson. Who would’ve thought dogs would be the key to the sustainability of the Matrix? Humans, with their inevitable yearning for subservience, are perfectly comfortable with Chewy in Charge.	1.1481	0.03678	108	93	14	1
6999	As a reward for your Loyalty, here is your new assignment: groom Fido for Board membership, help him em-bark on his bio-pic and canine cooking show.	1.1481	0.04343	81	70	10	1
7000	My client would like YOU to no longer stay.	1.1481	0.04343	81	70	10	1
7001	We're disappointed you haven't learned to sit, stay and roll over yet, as required by your contract.	1.1481	0.04685	81	71	8	2
7002	Part of the settlement includes palimony for Fido. Sign here.	1.1481	0.04343	81	70	10	1
7003	Geez,You mean-all he’s leaving me are chewed off bones!	1.1481	0.04685	81	71	8	2
7004	FRED IS LOOKING FORWARD TO WORKING WITH YOU!	1.1481	0.04343	81	70	10	1
7005	Just put one ARF on the Yes and one thousand ARF's on the No.	1.1481	0.04685	81	71	8	2
7006	Now you guess under which papers the bone is hidden	1.1481	0.04685	81	71	8	2
7007	Roger here will be reviewing your work ... and no treats.	1.1477	0.03804	88	75	13	0
7008	Why was I given fewer bones than everyone else	1.1477	0.04133	88	76	11	1
7009	Please sign below this list of shared assets so we can finalize your divorce. Rover is willing to trade the Florida timeshare for the Aspen condo.	1.1477	0.04133	88	76	11	1
7010	He wants unlimited dog biscuits included in the contract.	1.1477	0.04133	88	76	11	1
7011	She wants more treats,more rubs and longer walks.	1.1477	0.04133	88	76	11	1
7012	When you late father signed over the company to you, he insisted you wear a tie and that you leave the dog at home.	1.1477	0.04133	88	76	11	1
7013	And now, it is your turn to sign Mr. Infido	1.1477	0.04133	88	76	11	1
7014	It should be a no-fault divorce for two reasons - Daisy never intended to fall in love with groomer Tim AND they slept in separate beds in the Pooch Hotel the night of the cotillion.	1.1477	0.03804	88	75	13	0
7015	He says, "either sign this or you are out of his will".	1.1477	0.04133	88	76	11	1
7016	So you get the house in the Hamptons. All he wants is the leash, the food bowls, and his rawhide bone.	1.1477	0.04133	88	76	11	1
7017	He just wants 8,000 a month and the house in Copake. Sign at the bottom.	1.1477	0.04723	88	78	7	3
7018	Irreconcilable differences. My client says this was more than just a ruff patch.	1.1477	0.04133	88	76	11	1
7019	Light the fire. I'm cold.	1.1477	0.04133	88	76	11	1
7020	Remember, this figure will be in dog money.	1.1474	0.04225	95	83	10	2
7021	Yes, Mr. Snuggles prefers work from home as well, but that is just not corporate policy.	1.1474	0.03500	95	83	11	1
7022	You're only allowed weekend visits with his female owner.	1.1474	0.03951	95	82	12	1
7023	... and don't believe him when he criticizes me.	1.1474	0.03951	95	82	12	1
7024	Mediation often helps when owners disagree with their dog.	1.1471	0.04327	68	58	10	0
7025	Pick a summons, any summons	1.1471	0.04807	68	59	8	1
7026	Because, according to your wife, your favorite word for her was a female member of the canine species, she has sent her favorite proxy to represent her in the divorce.	1.1471	0.05244	68	60	6	2
7027	He wants half of what you have because he was your better half!	1.1471	0.04327	68	58	10	0
7028	My client is willing to let you continue your residence at his home as long as you are able to live up to these preconditions for his lifestyle.	1.1471	0.05244	68	60	6	2
7029	When you get evicted by your dog	1.1471	0.03524	102	87	15	0
7030	Sorry Jim, it's a Doggy Dog out there and you demand more than a bone.	1.1468	0.03872	109	95	12	2
7031	Of course my voice sounds odd. Fido's a ventriloquist.	1.1467	0.04911	75	66	7	2
7032	Bowser prefers an amicable divorce. Just sign here.	1.1467	0.04530	75	65	9	1
7033	Here are the terms and conditions of your preniptial agreement." Tulle Hazelrigg, New York, N	1.1467	0.04530	75	65	9	1
7034	Give me five examples of how you're a better best friend than Buddy.	1.1467	0.04113	75	64	11	0
7035	Here are our company's M-U-Z-Z-L-E laws. I'm spelling that out because Whiskers here is sensitive to the expression.	1.1467	0.04530	75	65	9	1
7036	I must say, Sir, you seem like a very good boy; however, my client insists you sign a non-compete agreement stipulating that you will be only mediocre around the office.	1.1467	0.04530	75	65	9	1
7037	I trust you will find these conditions acceptable.	1.1467	0.04530	75	65	9	1
7038	This divorce has been very ruff.	1.1467	0.04113	75	64	11	0
7039	This is the fine print of the remaining one tenth.	1.1463	0.03927	82	70	12	0
7040	The boss wants you to affix your paw print.	1.1463	0.04293	82	71	10	1
7041	Please sign juste there to accept to never feed again M.Buddy with your kitchen scraps... your food could kill someone.	1.1463	0.04293	82	71	10	1
7042	We are pleased that you chose to settle with my client out of court. Now fetch.	1.1463	0.03927	82	70	12	0
7043	The signature requirement's pretty flexible. One paw print from each of you will be fine.	1.1463	0.04945	82	73	6	3
7044	...but this time he is asking YOU to beg.	1.1463	0.03927	82	70	12	0
7045	These are ruff times. Tell us your version	1.1463	0.03927	82	70	12	0
7046	Let's cut to the chase. Are you pro dog ear or anti-dog ear?	1.1463	0.04631	82	72	8	2
7047	Commander, negotiating his contract with his new owners, The Bidens.	1.1463	0.03927	82	70	12	0
7048	He wants to be un-adopted.	1.1463	0.04293	82	71	10	1
7049	In the first place, Mr. Roberts, I want to thank you for your participation in our blind study. I also want to assure you that I myself am 100% blind as is my white dog.	1.1461	0.04391	89	78	9	2
7050	This is an offer that you can't ruff-use.	1.1461	0.03765	89	76	13	0
7051	Mr. Barker has agreed upon a 1 million dollar prenuptial agreement in the event you decide to give him up for adoption.	1.1461	0.04090	89	77	11	1
7052	She wasn’t impressed by your resume…or AKC registration.	1.1461	0.03765	89	76	13	0
7053	Sir,would you agree to the terms of who has custody of your wife?	1.1461	0.04090	89	77	11	1
7054	We’ve updated the kibble request in the adoption prenup.	1.1461	0.04090	89	77	11	1
7055	This gives me all your assets in the event something happens to you during ‘walkies.’	1.1461	0.04090	89	77	11	1
7056	Your now bound to no baby talk, no clothing and no open mouth kisses.	1.1458	0.04183	96	84	10	2
7057	My attorney doesn't say much but he is quite aware.	1.1456	0.04001	103	90	11	2
7058	My wife was such a b*tch	1.1456	0.03493	103	88	15	0
7059	Your suggestions would solve all our problems. You're fired.	1.1456	0.03755	103	89	13	1
7060	Sorry, the doh 's been more loyal.	1.1455	0.05455	55	48	6	1
7061	So Mopsy has given you the final nod so you're hired as the new dog walker. I just need you to sign this non-compete and non-disclosure agreement.	1.1449	0.05172	69	61	6	2
7062	He will	1.1449	0.04742	69	60	8	1
7063	My client will not tolerate relationships with other dogs, cats, or humans.	1.1449	0.04742	69	60	8	1
7064	He's looking to separate amicably.	1.1449	0.04269	69	59	10	0
7065	Guess what's on this paper correctly, and I won't fire you	1.1449	0.04742	69	60	8	1
7066	Doggone it.... What kind of settlement is this? I have to live in the dog house AND she gets custody of the puppies? What a ruff divorce!	1.1447	0.04850	76	67	7	2
7067	Give us an offer. And no, we can't tell you hers.	1.1447	0.04474	76	66	9	1
7068	I think you'll find Rover's terms fair and equitable.	1.1447	0.04474	76	66	9	1
7069	She is asking for custody of the litter and half of your Dogecoin cryptocurrency.	1.1447	0.04850	76	67	7	2
7070	He's bright, but still: Old dog. New trick. 20 minutes. Go.	1.1447	0.04063	76	65	11	0
7071	I'm sorry but his curriculum vitae is significantly more extensive than your rather limited resume.	1.1447	0.04474	76	66	9	1
7072	You'll need to sign his prenup before we can finalize the adoption.	1.1447	0.04063	76	65	11	0
7073	If you admit to posting his compromised photos online, my client will consider throwing you a bone.	1.1447	0.04474	76	66	9	1
7074	However, my client is willing to go 50/50 on the bones in the back yard.	1.1447	0.04063	76	65	11	0
7075	Our counter offer is HE gets the house and YOU get the bone, the food bowl and the tennis ball.	1.1447	0.04474	76	66	9	1
7076	I'm sorry but you've been replaced	1.1447	0.04063	76	65	11	0
7077	Sorry Paul but the dog, sorry Mr Tickle, is just better qualified.	1.1446	0.04578	83	73	8	2
7078	Who gets the cat?	1.1446	0.04245	83	72	10	1
7079	Of course there was a time when a "pre-nup" was just between a prospective bride and groom.	1.1446	0.04245	83	72	10	1
7080	And here is the Pre-puptial Agreement requested by my client.	1.1446	0.03884	83	71	12	0
7081	I know it's ruff but you're being replaced.	1.1446	0.04245	83	72	10	1
7082	The two watchdogs, Rolex and Timex remain with the plaintiff.	1.1446	0.04245	83	72	10	1
7083	If you can't think of ten outstanding reasons why you should have the privilege of walking my client Fluffy 24/7 during any weather conditions you're excused.	1.1446	0.04245	83	72	10	1
7084	O.K., but my partner says, if you throw one stick down the corridor, you’re fired	1.1444	0.04345	90	79	9	2
7085	For a change… here are “his” conditions for you to be his new owner.	1.1444	0.03726	90	77	13	0
7086	In 500 words, or less, write down the reasons you consider yourself more qualified than Woof for this job; keep in mind he has submitted a fine essay already	1.1444	0.03726	90	77	13	0
7087	We close our eyes,each scribble for three seconds,then exchange papers and find an image to complete. Whose ever’s best, wins the contract.	1.1444	0.03726	90	77	13	0
7088	These are the emancipation documents. Henceforth, there’ll be no more “sit,” “stay,” “come.” And “who’s a good boy?” is to be considered rhetorical.”	1.1444	0.04048	90	78	11	1
7089	Three card monty for the job position. My dog will decide which stack of papers to pick.	1.1444	0.04048	90	78	11	1
7090	Oh, the Cocker-Spaniel? We've found he's really good at spotting friend or foe. Just sign here, and we're good.	1.1444	0.04623	90	80	7	3
7091	If you want out of the dog house,my client insists on a minimum of three walks a day and only one bath a month.	1.1444	0.03726	90	77	13	0
7092	That, I say that dog’s busier than a centipede at a toe countin’ contest”	1.1444	0.04623	90	80	7	3
7093	As you can see here, my client has several alibis that he is in fact, a “good boy”	1.1444	0.03726	90	77	13	0
7094	We have received your resignation. Here is a new contract — binding you to us for the next seven business days. Or later, until we can find another rocket scientist.	1.1444	0.04345	90	79	9	2
7095	What breed is the dog?	1.1444	0.04345	90	79	9	2
7096	...and canned food five days a week.	1.1443	0.03875	97	84	12	1
7097	He wants the beach house,the Escalade,all the chew toys and an airtight NDA.	1.1443	0.03587	97	83	14	0
7098	As DOG is our witness please sign	1.1442	0.04193	104	92	9	3
7099	Rex wants you to know it's nothing personal. He merely found that the neighbors were more permissive with his--you know. His habit, of peeing inside the house? They love it, apparently. And he's changing his name to Potato City.	1.1441	0.03807	111	97	12	2
7100	Sorry, but his emancipation in these crazy times requires his bite to be bigger than his bark.	1.1429	0.04419	77	67	9	1
7101	Or would you rather prefer the cat version?	1.1429	0.04198	84	73	10	1
7102	Relax, he's been paper trained at all the finest institutions.	1.1429	0.04419	77	67	9	1
7103	You don’t understand. Not just the doghouse. It’s also the ‘house’ house.	1.1429	0.04419	77	67	9	1
7104	Since the two of you could never have been legally married, I do not see what my part here could be."	1.1429	0.03689	91	78	13	0
7105	Teddy here has spoken and this is always ruff.	1.1429	0.03689	91	78	13	0
7106	If you sign now, my client agrees to add two more treats to your weekly allowance.	1.1429	0.04527	84	74	8	2
7107	Please sign on the dogged line.	1.1429	0.04527	84	74	8	2
7108	Have you ever played this before?	1.1429	0.04678	70	61	8	1
7109	She keeps the doghouse and you agree to pay 100 biscuits per month	1.1429	0.03689	105	91	13	1
7110	Let’s make this easy, she’ll settle for half of your assets	1.1429	0.03553	98	84	14	0
7111	Now that we’ve finally settled on the number of daily walks, ball play and belly rubs, my client agrees to accept the revised terms of engagement.	1.1429	0.03838	98	85	12	1
7112	No. It's not negotiable. Without the "every meal must include fresh venison" clause, the adoption doesn't go through.	1.1429	0.04014	77	66	11	0
7113	I'll work for dog treats and games of fetch too. Please don't fire me.	1.1429	0.04213	70	60	10	0
7114	You must have at least one reason for breaking-up!	1.1429	0.04006	91	79	11	1
7115	Here are your dog's divorce demands.	1.1429	0.04678	70	61	8	1
7116	Rufus wants a legal divorce.	1.1429	0.04419	77	67	9	1
7117	My Rottweiler quit.	1.1429	0.04790	77	68	7	2
7118	Read this carefully, if your answer is NO.! We will have to kill you. !	1.1429	0.04014	77	66	11	0
7119	Last question. Which sheet of paper was stored in the maid's room where the cat sleeps.	1.1429	0.04198	84	73	10	1
7120	He says No more of those nasty dry doggie biscuits, Tim.	1.1429	0.04198	84	73	10	1
7121	Before we agree to his adoption, Tucker requires you sign this contract stating you will not refer to him as a "good Boi" on any internet social outlet.	1.1429	0.04419	77	67	9	1
7122	Mr. Emmons, I believe we all know why my client feels disrespected. This is our final offer."	1.1429	0.04198	84	73	10	1
7123	You can keep everything except the stunted tree in the front yard.	1.1429	0.03838	98	85	12	1
7124	Do you deny saying these things in the presence of my client: "his tail wags him, he can't learn new tricks, and he lies even when he's asleep?"	1.1429	0.04213	70	60	10	0
7125	Yes, Fido's veterinary expenses including food and grooming are deductible if he is your Service Dog.	1.1429	0.04678	70	61	8	1
7126	Just put your paw print here and it will be legal.	1.1429	0.04527	84	74	8	2
7127	I have been living in the dog house for years,now it's her turn	1.1429	0.04198	84	73	10	1
7128	The dog won't sing. He'll just bark unless his take is twenty-five percent.	1.1429	0.04575	91	81	7	3
7129	My client is claiming for half of the household's reserve of kibbles.	1.1429	0.04014	77	66	11	0
7130	You’re off the leash, you can sign the lease.	1.1429	0.04608	77	70	4	3
7131	Daisey gets the house. You get to keep the poop bags."	1.1429	0.04300	91	80	9	2
7132	O.k. Sign here. You agree that Jasper gets the home and a lifetime supply of dog food AND that you keep the family cat.	1.1429	0.03689	91	78	13	0
7133	I am sorry sir, but your father's Will was quite adamant regarding Muffin having legal oversight of your Trust Fund	1.1429	0.04198	84	73	10	1
7134	It’s her last best offer.	1.1429	0.04213	70	60	10	0
7135	I know you'll understand, but after I was granted a billion dollar bonus, and Doggie was awarded a second home in Malibu, there was nothing left in the kitty for any lowly workers. Doggie and me thank you for your service.	1.1429	0.04300	91	80	9	2
7136	Go ahead and write a number on this paper, but...consider the competition.	1.1429	0.04198	84	73	10	1
7137	If your roles were reversed,would you still think that his demand for 4 walks and 8 treats daily is excessive?	1.1429	0.04198	84	73	10	1
7138	Ok, now for the final exam - the sniff test. Good luck!	1.1429	0.04575	91	81	7	3
7139	He's really upset, and says you're in the doghouse.	1.1429	0.04006	91	79	11	1
7140	Don't worry, I'll give you responsibilities.	1.1429	0.03841	84	72	12	0
7141	We’re not pleased with the quality of your work: it’s a bit rough.	1.1429	0.04678	70	61	8	1
7142	Please submit your version of dispute	1.1429	0.04103	98	86	10	2
7143	Now, this is our six-month hybrid employment agreement.	1.1429	0.04213	70	60	10	0
7144	#MyNewYorkCaption "He has agreed to drop the law suit if you meet his demands for a larger house, unlimited treats and NO obedience school!"	1.1415	0.03656	106	92	13	1
7145	He's submitted his proposal. What's yours?	1.1414	0.03520	99	85	14	0
7146	I am sorry, but in taking the test, Ruff seems to have been more ready.	1.1414	0.04064	99	87	10	2
7147	Waiver of your right to choice of litter is non-negotiable.	1.1414	0.04064	99	87	10	2
7148	You agree not to spade him.	1.1413	0.03652	92	79	13	0
7149	So we’re agreed, you can have the house and he continues to get dog treats as he’s become accustomed	1.1413	0.03652	92	79	13	0
7150	OK, What's your side of the story?	1.1413	0.03965	92	80	11	1
7151	The DNA test results from the Canine CSI department came back positive. My client claims you violated sanitation laws by not cleaning up after him and disposing his excrement in an appropriate receptacle.	1.1413	0.04256	92	81	9	2
7152	This spells out all the details of your prepup...Paul Jelinek, NYC	1.1413	0.03652	92	79	13	0
7153	We don’t want to wag the tail anymore, and hope you are the answer.	1.1412	0.04152	85	74	10	1
7154	My client thought you were best friends, but he saw you giving treats to that Bichon at the off leash.”	1.1412	0.03799	85	73	12	0
7155	Her last demand is that you stop trying to bark her language.	1.1412	0.04476	85	75	8	2
7156	For consideration for the position, President Spot would like to know your views on play time and animal rights.	1.1412	0.03799	85	73	12	0
7157	The Divorce Decree also requires you to walk Roscoe upon the vote of the majority of your children.	1.1412	0.03799	85	73	12	0
7158	We gave him carte blanche, but he wouldn’t write anything.	1.1412	0.04152	85	74	10	1
7159	Before you can take her home, you must sign this prenup.	1.1412	0.04152	85	74	10	1
7160	Just sign the divorce papers already. A dog and a man, we never stood a chance.	1.1412	0.03799	85	73	12	0
7161	Here's a ruff draft of my client's settlement proposal.	1.1412	0.04152	85	74	10	1
7162	How are you with office water-bowl gossip?	1.1412	0.04152	85	74	10	1
7163	Now we just need you to sign this copy of the pre-pup.	1.1412	0.04152	85	74	10	1
7164	My client states you owe you him interest dating back to 2020. That's 14 years worth of back payment.	1.1412	0.04152	85	74	10	1
7165	This is the best offer you'll get from Creampuff.	1.1412	0.03799	85	73	12	0
7166	She gets the dog dish.	1.1412	0.04152	85	74	10	1
7167	My client's proffer unleashes his internal potential.	1.1412	0.04152	85	74	10	1
7168	You're Microchip will be ready."	1.1410	0.04366	78	68	9	1
7169	She says she wants the dog house and the chew toys. She put her pawprint here so you just have to sign the agreement and we'll consider this matter settled."	1.1410	0.05072	78	70	5	3
7170	The last dog walker got tired of not being allowed on the elevators.	1.1410	0.03966	78	67	11	0
7171	She insists that you would have joint custody of all puppies born of this alliance.	1.1410	0.03966	78	67	11	0
7172	...And stop dipping into Corky's list royalties.	1.1410	0.04732	78	69	7	2
7173	Yes, Mr. Barker is the CEO, and yes, he never takes interviews or allows himself to be photographed. Here's your NDA to sign.	1.1410	0.04732	78	69	7	2
7174	7 of spades.	1.1410	0.04366	78	68	9	1
7175	Here you agree to pay 100% of the puppies' obedience school tuition including boarding fees.	1.1410	0.03966	78	67	11	0
7176	Here's our final offer, even if this place is going to the dogs.	1.1410	0.04366	78	68	9	1
7177	My client requests custody of one squeaky squirrel, the rubbery rope toy, all the balls, and multiple copies of this document.	1.1410	0.04366	78	68	9	1
7178	It's a dog eat dog food world, lad. Here's Scruffy's list of his favorite brands.	1.1410	0.04366	78	68	9	1
7179	Before agreeing to this arrangement, she wants you to sign a non-disclosure agreement.	1.1410	0.03966	78	67	11	0
7180	These separation papers require your signature.	1.1410	0.04732	78	69	7	2
7181	My client would like a divorce, and fully intends to leave you the doghouse.	1.1410	0.05072	78	70	5	3
7182	Have your sheet, time to get serious. Doggy, I am freezing here!	1.1410	0.03966	78	67	11	0
7183	My client has agreed not to pee on the carpet, provided you play catch at the scheduled times, as stated in this agreement.	1.1408	0.04158	71	61	10	0
7184	If you score higher than the dog, your in.	1.1408	0.05033	71	63	6	2
7185	The dog has already accepted.	1.1408	0.04158	71	61	10	0
7186	Sign here and the	1.1408	0.05033	71	63	6	2
7187	If you want him to be your best friend he needs the assurances in in this “pre-friend” agreement .	1.1408	0.04616	71	62	8	1
7188	My client's housing is insufficient. He requests ownership of the larger one.	1.1406	0.04914	64	56	7	1
7189	We can't go back and forth like this forever ok?	1.1400	0.03766	100	87	12	1
7190	You're barking up the wrong tree trying to negotiate with me. Your roommate stated here he requires a room with a squirrel view.	1.1398	0.03615	93	80	13	0
7191	He wants you to acknowledge just how much you suck.	1.1398	0.03925	93	81	11	1
7192	This is Ralph from HR. You have to write him he's a 'Good Boy' but he's still not getting a raise.	1.1398	0.03615	93	80	13	0
7193	My client requests full custody of the buried bones.	1.1398	0.04213	93	82	9	2
7194	Lamb and chicken pate twice a day or he'll live with you ex.	1.1395	0.03758	86	74	12	0
7195	My client wants to negotiate. She feels that the contract price for a mere dog house is excessive.	1.1395	0.03758	86	74	12	0
7196	He asks if you can please draw your favorite chew toy.	1.1395	0.04106	86	75	10	1
7197	Eight million followers on Twitter say 1) He’s a good dog, 2) He gets the house, and 3) He gets the 401K	1.1395	0.04106	86	75	10	1
7198	He’s willing to come in	1.1395	0.03758	86	74	12	0
7199	We would like to add a confidentiality clause relating to all activities in the parkway.	1.1395	0.04427	86	76	8	2
7200	And in return for this unconditional love, he asks only that you mind your Ps and Qs.	1.1395	0.04106	86	75	10	1
7201	The pre-nup terms were negotiated through the Humane Society	1.1395	0.04427	86	76	8	2
7202	Can you write without a keyboard?	1.1395	0.04427	86	76	8	2
7203	Sign this with a front right paw print please.	1.1395	0.04427	86	76	8	2
7204	Section #3: I will no longer refer to Rufus as my' fur baby'. Sign here.	1.1395	0.03758	86	74	12	0
7205	That was a rough performance review	1.1395	0.03758	86	74	12	0
7206	Look, the Fido already signed--be a big man and give him all the bones; you don't need half.	1.1392	0.04314	79	69	9	1
7207	It's standard boilerplate except for the clause where 'master' is redefined." Blair Fink, Lawrenceville, G	1.1392	0.04314	79	68	9	1
7208	My client's final proposal for the prenup	1.1392	0.05010	79	71	5	3
7209	This was my own decision. He had nothing to say about it.	1.1392	0.04675	79	70	7	2
7210	My client is only asking for an equitable division of the assets...	1.1392	0.03920	79	68	11	0
7211	He gets the Kibbles, you get the Bits.	1.1392	0.03920	79	68	11	0
7212	These are my clients demands.	1.1392	0.04314	79	69	9	1
7213	Let’s start with the non-disclosure agreement.	1.1392	0.04314	79	69	9	1
7214	He refuses to rough it anymore with you.	1.1392	0.04314	79	69	9	1
7215	A perfect example in the dogged pursuit of justice.	1.1389	0.04556	72	63	8	1
7216	My client would like to renegotiate the terms to include a 10-minute daily belly rub.	1.1389	0.04556	72	63	8	1
7217	Do you promise to be true in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health. And to love and honour Buster all the days of their life.	1.1389	0.04104	72	62	10	0
7218	Final offer, Mr. Smith. You trade houses with my client or she keeps them both.	1.1389	0.04967	72	64	6	2
7219	Next you'll need to sign this promise to wear a suit and always bring your dog to work.	1.1389	0.04104	72	62	10	0
7220	Before he will agree to this adoption, Sparky will need you to sign this NDA.	1.1389	0.04104	72	62	10	0
7221	He won't budge on keeping the family home, but the doghouse is negotiable.	1.1385	0.04842	65	57	7	1
7222	So it is settled: You, Mr Smith, can stay at Rover's house as long as you pay for his legal costs	1.1383	0.04170	94	83	9	2
7223	The final straw for my client involved a toy Santa riding him. He may be fixed but that broke him.	1.1383	0.04170	94	83	9	2
7224	Management is now completing the layoffs face to face. So thank you for coming to my house. We are also no longer requiring employees who were slacking off to return their 2020-2021 salaries.	1.1383	0.03580	94	81	13	0
7225	He won't budge - he wants all the tennis balls.	1.1383	0.03580	94	81	13	0
7226	We have finalized the custody agreement for your wife:	1.1383	0.03886	94	82	11	1
7227	...and this one requires your paw-print.	1.1383	0.03886	94	82	11	1
7228	Sorry Jack, it's a different world. You get the bowls and the cat. Rufus gets the house.	1.1379	0.04062	87	76	10	1
7229	My client alleges emotional abandonment.	1.1379	0.04379	87	77	8	2
7230	Just your standard application form Mr. Liddell, but any mistakes or lies and the dog will chew your hand off.	1.1379	0.04062	87	76	10	1
7231	You're fired, he's hired. All the answers on the questionnaire are 'Woof!'	1.1379	0.04062	87	76	10	1
7232	Look, both you and Rover said the separation was amicable. Now do you want the doghouse or don't you?	1.1379	0.03718	87	75	12	0
7233	My client is insisting on more kibble and at least one additional walk each day."	1.1379	0.04062	87	76	10	1
7234	Now, if you'll just sign the divorce papers, Scruffy can get on with his life.	1.1379	0.04379	87	77	8	2
7235	My client is willing to forgo walks on Saturday in return for monthly access to your favorite sneakers	1.1379	0.05188	58	51	6	1
7236	Bad news. Fluffy left everything to woofy	1.1379	0.04379	87	77	8	2
7237	Your answers will be compared to those of this here candidate. He is quick and witty.	1.1379	0.04379	87	77	8	2
7238	Please sign here, Mr. Wilson, whereby you agree to cease all actions deemed inflexible and limiting that to this point have harmed Rex's individuality and overall well being.	1.1379	0.04062	87	76	10	1
7239	My client's initial offer for belly rubs in the upcoming fiscal year.	1.1375	0.04263	80	70	9	1
7240	Remember when you flunked out that prep school, Charles? Just think of this as the same thing. Your dog thinks you can do better.	1.1375	0.04263	80	70	9	1
7241	You’ll just have to sign the pre-puptual.	1.1375	0.03875	80	69	11	0
7242	Lawyer-"Your ex wife is taking everything"	1.1375	0.04263	80	70	9	1
7243	You are now promoted to Senior Vice President. Start wearing a tie.	1.1373	0.03951	102	90	10	2
7244	Before you can adopt, he needs to see some references and your financial statement.	1.1373	0.03697	102	89	12	1
7245	I'm afraid the buttering is the least of it.	1.1370	0.04052	73	63	10	0
7246	Your right it’s a dog of a deal	1.1370	0.04052	73	63	10	0
7247	According to the agreement, only Charles III of Barkingham gets to keep the dog house.	1.1370	0.04497	73	64	8	1
7248	I suggest that you accept Fifi's offer that you get to keep the house and the car, but are obligated to keep her properly fed and keep assist her with new housing. You also need to send proper toys every year.	1.1370	0.04497	73	64	8	1
7249	A thumb print will do for a signature.	1.1368	0.03545	95	82	13	0
7250	His proposal for streaming residuals—namely take-out containers, candy wrappers, and chip bags.	1.1368	0.03848	95	83	11	1
7251	Per your agreement to mediate any disputes when you adopted Roscoe . . .	1.1368	0.03848	95	83	11	1
7252	He can keep the house in Martha's Vineyard... all I want is the milk bone.	1.1368	0.03545	95	82	13	0
7253	And this one details the number of treats required per day.	1.1368	0.03848	95	83	11	1
7254	My client is simply seeking to protect his inherited assets from his prior owner.	1.1368	0.04391	95	85	7	3
7255	Let’s keep this civil, shall we?	1.1368	0.03848	95	83	11	1
7256	It's a pre-puptial agreement.	1.1364	0.04331	88	78	8	2
7257	No pressure but Charlie here barked 10 out of 10 correct answers.	1.1364	0.03679	88	76	12	0
7258	Arf arf, grrrrr, woof?	1.1364	0.04331	88	78	8	2
7259	In your own words, "Man bites dog."	1.1364	0.04019	88	77	10	1
7260	I’m afraid the last paragraph of the agreement deteriorates into doggerel.	1.1364	0.03679	88	76	12	0
7261	Under this agreement, you hereby promise not to reside in a "No Pets Allowed" dwelling and he hereby promises not to reside in a "No Humans Allowed" dwelling.	1.1364	0.03679	88	76	12	0
7262	And this is your sworn statement that neither you nor Fido here will ever say a bad word about the company, including liquidated damages of a million dollars in case of breach.	1.1364	0.04623	88	79	6	3
7263	I'm leaving you William, and I'm taking the wife.	1.1364	0.04331	88	78	8	2
7264	Will you pledge Fido power of the dog?	1.1359	0.03663	103	90	12	1
7265	The last words you said to your woman sums up your entire novel.	1.1359	0.03914	103	91	10	2
7266	Then it's agreed. You'll get every second weekend with the strangely wet tennis ball.	1.1358	0.04214	81	71	9	1
7267	The way you show your loyalty to our company is decisive for your appointment	1.1358	0.04214	81	71	9	1
7268	Molly wants a confirmation of equal time go fetch.	1.1358	0.03830	81	70	11	0
7269	Now you write out what you expect from Puffy.	1.1358	0.03830	81	70	11	0
7270	He gets the house, the car, and the stocks. You get the chew toys and water bowl.	1.1358	0.04214	81	71	9	1
7271	Look, he even admits it’s been a “ruff” relationship…	1.1358	0.04565	81	72	7	2
7272	The children love him more. Mr. Ruff Ruff gets the house and full custody.	1.1354	0.03511	96	83	13	0
7273	At this point Mr. Jenkins,Lola wants you to sign this trial separation anxiety agreement.	1.1354	0.04088	96	85	9	2
7274	Can you read “dog”?	1.1354	0.03810	96	84	11	1
7275	I can refer you to an Emancipation support group...	1.1351	0.04001	74	64	10	0
7276	You will share joint custody of all chew toys. In return, however, there is a proviso here for daily 'belly rubs' .	1.1351	0.04001	74	64	10	0
7277	It’s not that bad, you’ll be Fido’s executioner—-oops, meant to say executor.	1.1351	0.04001	74	64	10	0
7278	He wishes now to be intact.	1.1351	0.04440	74	65	8	1
7279	Mr. Newman, here are the palimony papers. Please, make sure to sign the terms properly. My client also demanded a restraining order until you get vaccinated. We are working on it.	1.1351	0.04001	74	64	10	0
7280	He says the pre-nup grants him unlimited dog food for life, at your expense.	1.1348	0.03976	89	78	10	1
7281	You get visitation rights, Fido gets sniffing rights.	1.1348	0.03641	89	77	12	0
7282	It looks like Ralphie’s father left you his cherished bone in his will. You can dig it up from your backyard now.	1.1348	0.03976	89	78	10	1
7283	SO, FILL THIS OUT, PLEASE. I HAVE TO WARN YOU, THE DOG IS OUR PREFERRED APPLICANT.	1.1348	0.03976	89	78	10	1
7284	She has agreed to leave you the dog house.	1.1348	0.03976	89	78	10	1
7285	I understand this is rough, but we just think it would be in everyone’s best interest to move on.	1.1348	0.03641	89	77	12	0
7286	My client proposes that she gets the house, while you retain the dog house.	1.1348	0.03976	89	78	10	1
7287	Really heavy woolen curtains can last a century	1.1348	0.03641	89	77	12	0
7288	And Barney takes possession of the house in back.	1.1348	0.03976	89	78	10	1
7289	This settlement could have been avoided if you hadn't relied on a verbal contract when you told Ferguson he could live in the pethouse for as long as he wanted.	1.1348	0.04573	89	80	6	3
7290	He wants to keep the cat and the pickup.	1.1348	0.03641	89	77	12	0
7291	This is my client's best and final offer.	1.1348	0.03641	89	77	12	0
7292	Now that you've reviewed all of Fido's requirements for him to adopt you, all you have to do is sign here.	1.1343	0.04197	67	58	9	0
7293	Of course,the time has finally come to leave the dog house.	1.1343	0.04197	67	58	9	0
7294	Nonsense. This 'dissolution of best friendship contract' was only necessary when you denied my client his annual holiday bones.	1.1343	0.05164	67	60	5	2
7295	These adoption papers make you the irrevocable owner of Frisky and waive any claim to a faulty background check.	1.1343	0.04705	67	59	7	1
7296	Your soon-to-be-ex doesn't think much of you, does she? She instructed me to give Fido the pen and asked me to notarize your "X".	1.1341	0.04165	82	72	9	1
7297	My client's settlement offer includes a monthly allowance for kibbles and joint custody of your front lawn.	1.1341	0.03787	82	71	11	0
7298	Oscar. Call him anything else and his contract says he can legally bite.	1.1341	0.04512	82	73	7	2
7299	Fido here will have the final vote.	1.1341	0.04165	82	72	9	1
7300	My client refers you to the last page of the pre-nuptial agreement	1.1341	0.04165	82	72	9	1
7301	I'm just so sick of cleaning up after her all the time, and she doesn't even lick me when I come home anymore!	1.1341	0.04165	82	72	9	1
7302	She insists on the real house in the settlement.	1.1341	0.04165	82	72	9	1
7303	Here at Subaru,even our employees are dog approved	1.1341	0.04165	82	72	9	1
7304	Your signature and safe word, please.	1.1341	0.03787	82	71	11	0
7305	Standard non-disclosure: in any internet-related activity, you will not reveal that he's a dog.	1.1341	0.04512	82	73	7	2
7306	What are your top 3 qualities that qualify for Who is a Good Boy status?	1.1340	0.03773	97	85	11	1
7307	Just sign this and I will have your lawyer on my left review it.	1.1340	0.03773	97	85	11	1
7308	Woof. Grrrr.. Woof-woof.	1.1340	0.03773	97	85	11	1
7309	This is my eating contract.	1.1340	0.03773	97	85	11	1
7310	Well, I guess that is it for you, here	1.1340	0.03477	97	84	13	0
7311	I am looking for your best doggone responses!” Alan Mitchell, St. Louis, M	1.1333	0.05141	75	68	4	3
7312	We need you to list your three favorite chew toys.	1.1333	0.05141	75	68	4	3
7313	This is our final settlement offer	1.1333	0.03935	90	79	10	1
7314	He says he wants the rubber bone and the house in the Hamptons.	1.1333	0.03935	90	79	10	1
7315	The offer we've come up with includes a signing bonus of a year's supply of Purina.	1.1333	0.03603	90	78	12	0
7316	You can keep your wife, my client gets the house.” Erica Weingast, Manhatta	1.1333	0.04384	75	66	8	1
7317	You can have the car itself, but the tires I’ve bitten…Those belong to me.	1.1333	0.03935	90	79	10	1
7318	Hopefully this doesn’t go too “ruff”.	1.1333	0.03952	75	65	10	0
7319	Doggy bags were never listed in our agreement, but you’re welcome to use this piece of paper when you both leave.	1.1333	0.04384	75	66	8	1
7320	Fido is bringing suit over the quality of your dog treats.	1.1333	0.04384	75	66	8	1
7321	He insists on keeping the red collar.	1.1333	0.03952	75	65	10	0
7322	As your mediator, I strongly advise you to give Fluffy the walking stick.	1.1327	0.03737	98	86	11	1
7323	We just need a paw print from yiu, sir.	1.1327	0.03737	98	86	11	1
7324	My client seeks the house from your separation, Mr. Clark. Not the "doggie" house.	1.1325	0.03744	83	72	11	0
7325	In exchange for the dog house and monthly kibble support, Woolzer waives his right to make any additional claims.	1.1325	0.03744	83	72	11	0
7326	He is the boss and gives a good licking when required.	1.1325	0.03744	83	72	11	0
7327	And whatever happens, this NDA is only enforceable for the next hundred years.	1.1325	0.04118	83	73	9	1
7328	You may not like it, but she's entitled to half of all your chew toys and doggie treats.	1.1325	0.04461	83	74	7	2
7329	My client has agreed to the terms of the dissolution, but has asked me to inform you on a personal note that – and I quote – "Woof, grrrr."	1.1325	0.04118	83	73	9	1
7330	He requested discussion of my letter of resignation while seating me across the creature that had gotten me into this mess.	1.1325	0.04461	83	74	7	2
7331	Brad is serving you with this as you have not fed him for three days.	1.1325	0.04461	83	74	7	2
7332	My client is suing you for unnecessary ruffness.	1.1325	0.03744	83	72	11	0
7333	And at the end of all of this litigation... YOU still get the doghouse."	1.1325	0.04118	83	73	9	1
7334	I was under the impression there wasn't a prenup	1.1325	0.04461	83	74	7	2
7335	If you’re not satisfied with the terms, my client has eleven other offers.	1.1325	0.04118	83	73	9	1
7336	My client here would like you to agree to allow him to drag his ass on the carpet. Whenever he wants. For as long as he wants. If you don’t accept these terms, I’m afraid we won’t be able to proceed with the adoption paperwork.	1.1325	0.04118	83	73	9	1
7337	Stick, or draw?	1.1325	0.03744	83	72	11	0
7338	He’s willing to part with the house. But he wants the cadillac.	1.1325	0.04118	83	73	9	1
7339	He wants the doggie bowl and the tea set. You can have the rest.	1.1324	0.04640	68	60	7	1
7340	Your dog wants full emancipation and will keep his leash.	1.1324	0.05505	68	62	3	3
7341	Which pile has the contract for you to sign?	1.1321	0.03566	106	93	12	1
7342	It's an equity issue ....every bite you take. Heidi Roe, Myrtle Point, Or	1.1319	0.03894	91	80	10	1
7343	You wouldn't believe how hard it is to get good help nowadays.	1.1319	0.04477	91	82	6	3
7344	He can't grasp a pen, so barks "Yip" for yes and "Grr " for no.	1.1319	0.03566	91	79	12	0
7345	Run to the pet store - we can still try for the white-collar criminal defense.	1.1319	0.04196	91	81	8	2
7346	He's ordering you to pay Alpomony.	1.1319	0.04742	91	83	4	4
7347	So, who is going to be eating who?	1.1319	0.03894	91	80	10	1
7348	Now if you'll just sign this confession right here, I think we can put this unfortunate matter to rest.	1.1316	0.03903	76	66	10	0
7349	Believe me, it is a fair division of the inheritance.	1.1316	0.04717	76	68	6	2
7350	The confidentiality clause will cost you an extra million.	1.1316	0.04717	76	68	6	2
7351	This states that the party of the first part be no longer referred to as your best friend. Sign and initial here	1.1316	0.04329	76	67	8	1
7352	Under the terms of the settlement, monthly installments can be paid in cash or Milk Bones.	1.1316	0.03903	76	66	10	0
7353	And the last condition for Fido to return home. He eats at the dinner table and no more canned dog food	1.1316	0.04329	76	67	8	1
7354	Read it through and put your paw-print right under hers.	1.1316	0.03903	76	66	10	0
7355	Butch says no	1.1313	0.03702	99	87	11	1
7356	Well, my client begs for dinner.	1.1313	0.03412	99	86	13	0
7357	Sign here and the adoption is final.	1.1310	0.03703	84	73	11	0
7358	Denise is willing to drop her suit regarding your negligent polyjuice potion-making for this number, as well as rights of first refusal over your bones should your death precede hers.	1.1310	0.04410	84	75	7	2
7359	Along with alimony, Scooter also wants all his bones dug up and returned.	1.1310	0.03703	84	73	11	0
7360	There's a kibble under one of these. You find it, the dog gets fired.	1.1310	0.04410	84	75	7	2
7361	My client seeks ruffly 2000 treats and 1000 walks as a settlement!	1.1310	0.04072	84	74	9	1
7362	And by signing this you agree that Sudsy will have access to the chew toys every other weekend	1.1310	0.04724	84	76	5	3
7363	Okay.......so you just saw me put the Queen in this stack	1.1310	0.03703	84	73	11	0
7364	The terms are simple, you split the house, but Fluffy keeps all the kibble.	1.1310	0.04072	84	74	9	1
7365	You get to retain two of his collars but the food & water bowls will go to the client.	1.1310	0.03703	84	73	11	0
7366	Erm, no. Scotty, beam me up.	1.1308	0.03776	107	95	10	2
7367	Left .. Right .. Center ..?	1.1304	0.04152	92	82	8	2
7368	We'll need duplicates of your resume, our head of HR is a voracious reader.	1.1304	0.04576	69	61	7	1
7369	Now your turn to respond to Spot's recommendations on strengthening your relationship.	1.1304	0.03530	92	80	12	0
7370	No, Barkie did NOT poop in the conference room. You are through here.	1.1304	0.03530	92	80	12	0
7371	We all start off here with a blank slate	1.1304	0.05428	69	63	3	3
7372	adoption of a wealthy dog	1.1304	0.04152	92	82	8	2
7373	Why is he your boss? Loyalty and lower expense account charges.	1.1304	0.04084	69	60	9	0
7374	This is the second time you've shat on Mister Snuffles' desk. What do you have to say for yourself?	1.1300	0.03933	100	89	9	2
7375	As written in the contract,if you get Covid and cannot take the dog outside,she may go for a divorce.	1.1300	0.03667	100	88	11	1
7376	Your first job will be to clean Woffie's chair seat	1.1299	0.03856	77	67	10	0
7377	You can keep your house, but I'm not paying for alimony Laurie Dickstein-Fischer, Needham, MA	1.1299	0.04276	77	68	8	1
7378	She'll be keeping Sag Harbor.	1.1299	0.04276	77	68	8	1
7379	OK Hunter - Can you draw a horse ? This time - no cheating like your dad.	1.1299	0.04659	77	69	6	2
7380	Fido is 2 years old now, 14 in dog years, and would like your ex-wife to have sole custody of him. You can see him every other Sunday for a long walk.	1.1299	0.03856	77	67	10	0
7381	Calling someone dog is speciation, company is anti-specieation, sign here	1.1299	0.03856	77	67	10	0
7382	OK,so he gets the backyard,couch in the den and chair by the fire and then he won	1.1299	0.03856	77	67	10	0
7383	The test will determine who will get the job, you or the dog. Is the dog really man's best friend?	1.1299	0.04276	77	68	8	1
7384	This is our fetched and final offer."	1.1299	0.04276	77	68	8	1
7385	Percy wants an amicable divorce and is crushed that you're being such a hardass.	1.1299	0.03856	77	67	10	0
7386	Before you start walking him you'll need to sign this confidentiality agreement - whatever he does outside he wants kept under wraps.	1.1299	0.03856	77	67	10	0
7387	Just sign. It's not rolling over.	1.1299	0.03856	77	67	10	0
7388	You shouldn't have brought the dog.	1.1299	0.03856	77	67	10	0
7389	He has signed his witness statement. Your turn now.	1.1294	0.04027	85	75	9	1
7390	Always the black, never the red	1.1294	0.03662	85	74	11	0
7391	Number one on the list is Alienation of Affection...	1.1294	0.03662	85	74	11	0
7392	Sorry but you’re doggone	1.1294	0.03662	85	74	11	0
7393	On behalf of my client, this is our final offer for not walking him enough.	1.1294	0.04027	85	75	9	1
7394	The canine has pawed over the will and his inheritance. I am now recommending after you pore over the will ' s clauses and write down some negotiation points otherwise you will end up in the doghouse	1.1294	0.04027	85	75	9	1
7395	My client hopes you won’t find the terms too rough.	1.1294	0.04027	85	75	9	1
7396	And this is an affidavit stating you did give him wet kitty food under the guise of saying it was doggie health food.	1.1294	0.03662	85	74	11	0
7397	I think in time you will in reality see the good sense in Bruno’s alimony proposals.	1.1294	0.03662	85	74	11	0
7398	My client wants the dog house and full custody of the kids.	1.1294	0.03662	85	74	11	0
7399	My client held up his end of the agreement	1.1294	0.03662	85	74	11	0
7400	She’s moved to Spain and thus has the right to alimony.	1.1294	0.03662	85	74	11	0
7401	I've written down my offer for your dog walking services. Don't let Pooch know how much.	1.1290	0.04110	93	83	8	2
7402	How do you pronounce your name?	1.1290	0.03815	93	82	10	1
7403	And in no way does this mean that Mr. Wiggles agrees.	1.1290	0.04292	62	54	8	0
7404	You'll see that it's a fairly standard prenup.	1.1290	0.03815	93	82	10	1
7405	My client is suing for a pool table, just like Snoopy's, in the basement of his dog house.	1.1290	0.03495	93	81	12	0
7406	Here are Ruff’s terms for the adoption- he sincerely hopes he will be walking you home tonight.	1.1290	0.04292	62	54	8	0
7407	Before taking Tiny home from the shelter, there are a few things that he wants in your Will, and preferred food, if you have a yard, preferred veterinarian, and in case of your untimely demise, who will take care of him for the rest of his life.	1.1286	0.04030	70	61	9	0
7408	Corkie's demands are simple. You must never again violate this relationship by bringing an aardvark into the house nor even visiting an aardvark in any context outside a zoo. Corkie agrees to discontinue using your shoe closet as a restroom. Burrrrp!	1.1286	0.04952	70	63	5	2
7409	Brad. Your exam has been rejected by the CEO, sitting with us today.	1.1286	0.04030	70	61	9	0
7410	This final one confirms the answer to, “Who’s a good girl?” to be self-evident, and not to be used in public without invoking serious breach penalities.	1.1282	0.04602	78	70	6	2
7411	Now if you move to annex one, my client demands here that you will not take the ball and only throw it.	1.1282	0.04224	78	69	8	1
7412	Our pet food marketing consultant wants more samples.	1.1282	0.04224	78	69	8	1
7413	Here is your smart contract to buy in pawcoin said the new woof of Wall Street	1.1282	0.04602	78	70	6	2
7414	And then there's the palimony.	1.1282	0.03810	78	68	10	0
7415	With my partner, we have to take a decision. You can firm just here ,and we will recall you to give you our decision.	1.1282	0.04950	78	71	4	3
7416	The good news is the terms of the contract are NOT in dog years." -Ted DeLon	1.1282	0.04602	78	70	6	2
7417	When you brought home the cat, you violated the morals clause. You can either acquire another puppy or provide Edna three additional biscuits, daily, for the rest of her natural life.	1.1282	0.04224	78	69	8	1
7418	Today is your last day. As we made clear,there	1.1282	0.03810	78	68	10	0
7419	In this plea bargain, the bitch wants a lifetime bone supply as restitution for petting without consent.	1.1279	0.03982	86	76	9	1
7420	The reason I filed for divorce is that my wife is a bitch.	1.1279	0.03623	86	75	11	0
7421	This will go a lot smoother if we just agree at the outset you’re handing over the lifetime subscription to chewy.com	1.1279	0.03982	86	76	9	1
7422	Should have done a pre-nup.	1.1279	0.03982	86	76	9	1
7423	The complainant says he saw you petting another dog. If this is true, it will cost you half of your dog biscuits.	1.1279	0.03982	86	76	9	1
7424	The settlement must include the house.	1.1279	0.04312	86	77	7	2
7425	He'll be your friend if you give him your Dogecoin.	1.1279	0.03623	86	75	11	0
7426	Hello sir! Let me introduce myself to you. I'm your father's lawyer. According to his will, these are the documents that shows that Sam is one of the future heirs of the family's wealth just like.	1.1279	0.03982	86	76	9	1
7427	Fluffy believes the witness did not see or hear the incident in question but heard about it from someone else. As you're aware, hearbark is not admissible in court.	1.1279	0.03623	86	75	11	0
7428	Your best friend really didn't want to tell you.	1.1279	0.03623	86	75	11	0
7429	Sorry, I don’t like how you wag your tail.	1.1277	0.03460	94	82	12	0
7430	Bob what do you think,any other questions or can we offer Ruffus the CEO position now?	1.1277	0.03777	94	83	10	1
7431	Sir, your dog is suiting you for letting the door open and letting his puppies run away so he is claiming : "WHO LET THE DOGS OUT?"	1.1277	0.03460	94	82	12	0
7432	It's a standard nondisclosure agreement. So if he ever eats someone's socks or swallows a squeaky toy or maybe accidentally soils a birthday cake, from your point of view, it never happened.	1.1277	0.04068	94	84	8	2
7433	Read the fine poop, if you want to walk my Walt. I’ll get you a blue bag.”	1.1275	0.03599	102	90	11	1
7434	I hate to be the one to break it to you but your dog is suing you for alienation of affection. You have become more devoted to Covid tests than to him.	1.1275	0.03318	102	89	13	0
7435	Yes, Mr. Henderson. As agreed, you get the condo and Ruff here gets Mrs. Henderson.	1.1270	0.05303	63	57	4	2
7436	Under this ownership agreement, Good Boy will accept no less than six treats and three belly rubs per day	1.1270	0.04229	63	55	8	0
7437	You can get your own lawyer...or we can settle this right now.	1.1266	0.03765	79	69	10	0
7438	I refer you to Section 9, paragraph 3, sub-paragraph 12, concerning the provision of treats.	1.1266	0.03765	79	69	10	0
7439	Can't we just do this online?	1.1266	0.04174	79	70	8	1
7440	Sparky is also hopeful for your candor in the new Peer Evaluation process this year.	1.1266	0.04174	79	70	8	1
7441	My client says the house and land is yours on the proviso he gets everything contained beneath.	1.1266	0.03765	79	69	10	0
7442	Now, each of you are asked to submit a 100 word essay on why you are best qualified for this position and the winner will be offered the job.	1.1266	0.04174	79	70	8	1
7443	The leash needs to go, Brandon.	1.1266	0.03765	79	69	10	0
7444	This is my client’s final roffer.	1.1266	0.03765	79	69	10	0
7445	As your financial adviser, we are required to tell you, our bite is worse than our bark.	1.1266	0.04174	79	70	8	1
7446	Let's see you try a sketch of your hand	1.1266	0.03765	79	69	10	0
7447	He wants to renegotiate his leash.	1.1266	0.03765	79	69	10	0
7448	My client agrees to be rescued provided you live with twenty feet of a hydrant.	1.1266	0.04546	79	71	6	2
7449	My partner here on my left and myself would love to hire you in our company. Here is our job proposition. If you agree, my partner will explain you the modalities of the position.	1.1266	0.03765	79	69	10	0
7450	Give us dog walker approval and we can wrap this up.	1.1264	0.03939	87	77	9	1
7451	My client wants to emphasize that this is only a ruff proposal.	1.1264	0.03584	87	76	11	0
7452	All he wants out of this divorce is the shortcut along the park that you used to walk together.	1.1264	0.03939	87	77	9	1
7453	Three for her, two for me, one for you...it's a dog's life.	1.1264	0.04265	87	78	7	2
7454	Okay, here are the divorce papers. You may sign first if you are sure the two of you are going through with this.	1.1264	0.03939	87	77	9	1
7455	I will give you three guesses.	1.1264	0.03584	87	76	11	0
7456	I will not be able to hire you until you fill in the gap for the last 2 1/2 years of your work history.	1.1264	0.03939	87	77	9	1
7457	Now if you'll just sign this contract at the bottom, Digger will legally be your pet until the official end of the Pandemic.	1.1264	0.03584	87	76	11	0
7458	He never thought it would come to this either Bill, but in the prepuptial you insisted he get the house.	1.1264	0.04265	87	78	7	2
7459	You've played three card monte before, right?	1.1264	0.03939	87	77	9	1
7460	You may now kiss the bride.	1.1263	0.03739	95	84	10	1
7461	It was ruff but it is signed sealed and delivered.	1.1263	0.03739	95	84	10	1
7462	I agree that it is sad and somewhat humiliating, but the dog wants the terms of your mutually agreed separation to be in writing.	1.1250	0.03897	88	78	9	1
7463	And if it doesn't work out, Fluffy gets the apartment.	1.1250	0.03897	88	78	9	1
7464	He wants full custody of the Taste of the Wild Prairie dog food.	1.1250	0.04124	80	71	8	1
7465	Sign here. This is the 30 year fixed rate mortgage for the doghouse.	1.1250	0.03925	72	63	9	0
7466	Woofy is willing to be your best friend after you sign the prepuptial agreement.	1.1250	0.03789	104	93	9	2
7467	Sorry but we've decided to go with loyalty in your department this coming year.	1.1250	0.04253	96	87	6	3
7468	Per opposing counsel’s suggestion, our offer now includes one treat and two belly rubs.	1.1250	0.04820	72	65	5	2
7469	Fido gets full custody of all seven puppies, you get visitation on every third weekend. And, of course you'll pay for all veterinarian bills and dog food. Just sign here and the divorce is final.	1.1250	0.03721	80	70	10	0
7470	Your dog Rufus has thoroughly sniffed this new owner-watchdog agreement and has retained me to negotiate on his behalf.	1.1250	0.03546	88	77	11	0
7471	TODAY IS NOT A CASUAL DAY	1.1250	0.03897	88	78	9	1
7472	There’s no easy way to say this, your returns are Pawful.	1.1250	0.03259	104	91	13	0
7473	Relax it’s just a required Covid questioniare!	1.1250	0.05223	64	58	4	2
7474	You're both highly qualified candidates. First one of you who guesses what I'm thinking...gets the job.	1.1250	0.03546	88	77	11	0
7475	She will let you keep the doghouse, but she wants the Tesla.	1.1250	0.04395	72	64	7	1
7476	Please review my client's proposed settlement and NDA in regards to the alleged butt sniffing incident.	1.1250	0.04820	72	65	5	2
7477	What's under card number 3? Guess right and you're hired.	1.1250	0.04124	80	71	8	1
7478	He wants the cabin in Woodstock.	1.1250	0.04725	64	57	6	1
7479	This is a list of canine concerns regarding your trust fund.	1.1250	0.04395	72	64	7	1
7480	You may have spent most of your time in the doghouse, but now you can only visit it every other weekend.	1.1250	0.04124	80	71	8	1
7481	He says if you'll just sign here you can be free to a good home.	1.1250	0.04395	72	64	7	1
7482	Just follow the red ace.	1.1238	0.03230	105	92	13	0
7483	It's just a standard pre-puptual agreement. You want this dog, right?	1.1237	0.03360	97	85	12	0
7484	Once the divorce is pronounced my client generously offer you to keep the dog house, Sir.	1.1237	0.03360	97	85	12	0
7485	Now let's see if you can describe a lost sale other than "rough.	1.1236	0.03508	89	78	11	0
7486	He gets your wife, the house, and the Escalade. You get the leash.	1.1236	0.03508	89	78	11	0
7487	We are out of old newspapers so your job will be to follow Rover around and slip this under him at appropriate times. Welcome aboard!	1.1236	0.03508	89	78	11	0
7488	Don't bark at this settlement. It's the best we could do.	1.1236	0.04173	89	80	7	2
7489	The Parties acknowledge that this Agreement will govern any determination of ownership of property that may occur in the event of the Parties separating…	1.1236	0.03508	89	78	11	0
7490	He covers us during dog day afternoons.	1.1236	0.03508	89	78	11	0
7491	Our consultant has completed his study of office personality types and interaction dynamics and his findings plot you in the unique quadrant of "Man's Best Friend" confirming what we already knew - you're a dog.	1.1236	0.03855	89	79	9	1
7492	This clause calls for kibbles only, no bits.	1.1235	0.04438	81	73	6	2
7493	Sparky is leaving you. He would prefer an owner with a bigger yard.	1.1235	0.04076	81	72	8	1
7494	Due to the pandemic, his dinner time shall be moved up two hours	1.1235	0.03678	81	71	10	0
7495	You lack unconditional love.	1.1235	0.04076	81	72	8	1
7496	It is similar to all our prenuptial agreements. We thinh that our dog sitter must sign it.	1.1235	0.04076	81	72	8	1
7497	If you don't have your own poop bags, they will be taken out of your pay.	1.1235	0.04076	81	72	8	1
7498	Baxter's terms seem reasonably straight forward, halftime walks no matter the import of the game.	1.1235	0.04438	81	73	6	2
7499	Sign here confirming two meals per day. And we'll file for contempt if you continue to look down upon him.	1.1235	0.04076	81	72	8	1
7500	Well, let’s just say you now have 100 problems.	1.1235	0.03678	81	71	10	0
7501	We'd like to offer a two week extension, to train your replacement.	1.1235	0.04076	81	72	8	1
7502	And finally, you agree to not get angry if he pees on the floor with excitement when you get home.	1.1235	0.03678	81	71	10	0
7503	We're targeting a new sector...conduct 5-15 interviews a day, starting with Buddy here.	1.1235	0.04076	81	72	8	1
7504	This contract is quite standard, I can assure you. It simply says if anything should happen to you, all of your assets would go to my client, Mr. Bowser. Just sign right here.	1.1233	0.03875	73	64	9	0
7505	This will establish who is the Head of Household	1.1233	0.03875	73	64	9	0
7506	Here is your Pre-Bestfriend Agreement.	1.1233	0.03875	73	64	9	0
7507	Ms. Coco asserts that her raw diet is part of the pre-nip agreement.	1.1233	0.04756	73	66	5	2
7508	Please don’t feel too bad that you lost out on the job to Fritzie, here. Remember that she IS a border collie.	1.1233	0.04756	73	66	5	2
7509	She wants 3 meals a day,daily belly rubs,and a personal groomer! Chip Stout, Charlotte, NC	1.1233	0.04338	73	65	7	1
7510	As per the contract, my client will be assuming full creative control over breakfast, lunch, and dinner.	1.1233	0.03875	73	64	9	0
7511	My partner will be handling your case. He’s a terrier.	1.1231	0.04107	65	57	8	0
7512	Write down your references and either of us will get back to you.	1.1224	0.03631	98	87	10	1
7513	You’re gonna fry for knowingly using decaying parts in the orphanage’s construction. Place lit up like flash paper the second that gas leak got out of hand. God have mercy on your soul. And Spot says you’re guilty of purr-jury. Because dogs and cats.	1.1222	0.04129	90	81	7	2
7514	Dog and I want to offer you a carrot.	1.1222	0.03472	90	79	11	0
7515	In exchange for no more frisbee fetching, but he solemnly agrees to remain your best friend.	1.1222	0.03472	90	79	11	0
7516	my dog would like you to draw a picture of a bone...	1.1222	0.03472	90	79	11	0
7517	She wants the backyard, backdoor, back bedroom and kitchen.	1.1222	0.03815	90	80	9	1
7518	This, Motherfucker.	1.1220	0.04717	82	75	4	3
7519	This never would have happened it hadn’t been for that bark shock collar. He’s asking for the house, and if I were you, I wouldn’t object.	1.1220	0.04029	82	73	8	1
7520	Just sign on the dotted line. My dog is the witness.	1.1220	0.04029	82	73	8	1
7521	I'm sorry. Your pooper scooping wasn't quite up to his standards.	1.1220	0.03636	82	74	7	1
7522	He proposes a sale-leashback transaction.	1.1220	0.03636	82	72	10	0
7523	He wants 50 treats a day plus the flea collar.	1.1220	0.04717	82	75	4	3
7524	The alimony must include a cost-of-living escalator to protect against inflation. My client will not roll over on this position.	1.1220	0.04029	82	73	8	1
7525	Here is the pre-nup we've been discussing.	1.1220	0.04387	82	74	6	2
7526	If you’d like to commit to this relationship my client requires you sign this pre-puptial agreement.	1.1220	0.03636	82	72	10	0
7527	Bored Meeting at 11:00 on Wednesdays after his walk and approval of the Agenda.	1.1220	0.04387	82	74	6	2
7528	I'm going to put the pen under one of these three piles...	1.1216	0.04282	74	66	7	1
7529	"I'm sorry Tom but Oswald here has shown unending loyalty, dedication to duty, and he makes and excellent security guard. He told us about your stealing office supplies.'	1.1216	0.04282	74	66	7	1
7530	My client, Mrs. Scruffles, only asks for custody of the children and reasonable child support.	1.1216	0.04695	74	67	5	2
7531	She's agreed to allow you to deliver mail on weekends.	1.1216	0.03825	74	65	9	0
7532	He asks to throw him a bone after all	1.1216	0.04695	74	67	5	2
7533	The job will be awarded to the best applicants reason for working here. Your turn!	1.1216	0.03825	74	65	9	0
7534	Sorry, you’re not even allowed in the dog house.	1.1216	0.04695	74	67	5	2
7535	The state requires that we provide a reason, and my client has put down "All that 'heckin pupper' shit circa 2016." Now, to be clear, it isn't that per se, but the sense my client got that you're weak-minded and lack resistance to internet memes.	1.1212	0.04048	66	58	8	0
7536	Here is a list of my client's demands, and between you and me, Bowser-Boy is letting you off very easy.	1.1212	0.03872	99	89	8	2
7537	You stopped going into work he stopped caring.	1.1212	0.04588	66	59	6	1
7538	She’s contesting the adoption agreement due to inadequate ball playing time.	1.1209	0.03436	91	80	11	0
7539	So the REAL Mr.Trump says you	1.1209	0.04086	91	82	7	2
7540	Social distancing allows for only two living beings in this office. Here it is, in writing.	1.1209	0.03436	91	80	11	0
7541	Earlier you said if you were chosen for Space X flight, you would board your dog. I need 1000 words on why.	1.1209	0.03775	91	81	9	1
7542	He's asking to have his name legally be changed from Fido to Baron Munchausen!	1.1205	0.04336	83	75	6	2
7543	Mr. Bingo has submitted a bid of $3,350,000. If you would like to make an overbid, it must be at least $3,400,000.	1.1205	0.04336	83	75	6	2
7544	Be sure to read the fine paw print.	1.1205	0.03983	83	74	8	1
7545	Bowser is asking for your slippers as part of the divorce settlement. You can keep the rug in the hall where he wipes his bum.	1.1205	0.04662	83	76	4	3
7546	We need a sample of your handwriting for the dognapping incident.	1.1205	0.03595	83	73	10	0
7547	Our new policy completely got rid of MeToo issues	1.1205	0.03595	83	73	10	0
7548	We are short on staff right now, so Ruff here, is representing the moose on the table."	1.1205	0.03595	83	73	10	0
7549	Custody of fluffy is non-negotiable	1.1200	0.03266	100	88	12	0
7550	My client demands three walkies per day, plus a diet of premium grain-free kibble.	1.1200	0.03778	75	66	9	0
7551	She gets a rain shower with stereo system in her "casa de canine," you get the tapes, and the deal's done.	1.1200	0.04634	75	68	5	2
7552	See if you can choose the stake that has your interview outcome.	1.1200	0.04228	75	67	7	1
7553	My client says that in the prenup you agreed to refrain from any “in-human” treatment.	1.1200	0.04228	75	67	7	1
7554	Sorry,Sam. Looks like she gets half of everything, and you still have to pick up her doo door twice a day.	1.1200	0.03266	100	88	12	0
7555	And here are your termination papers. Rufus, see him out please..	1.1200	0.03778	75	66	9	0
7556	The trade is almost complete - all we need now is your consent to sit in the window and look cute	1.1200	0.04228	75	67	7	1
7557	They say dog is a man's best friend, and this dog just saved me from tax fraud. Some financial advisor you are, Nick.	1.1196	0.04043	92	83	7	2
7558	My client has biting revenge arguments.	1.1196	0.03401	92	81	11	0
7559	I am afraid that my client is opposed to a reconciliation.	1.1194	0.03991	67	59	8	0
7560	She'll like to keep her KONG toys, dog harness, pee pads, playpen, set of bed-stairs, food containers, dental chew sticks, dog bed, ear cleaner, and of course of all the remaining delicious treats. Please, put your right lower paw here.	1.1194	0.04523	67	60	6	1
7561	The weekly fetches are non negotiable.	1.1190	0.03938	84	75	8	1
7562	Under one of these stack of paper is an announcement of your bonus. Pick the right stack and you'll get that hefty bonus. Pick the wrong one, and you forfeit your bonus and all your overtime pay for the year.	1.1190	0.04910	84	78	2	4
7563	Sir your best friend has your best interests at heart.	1.1190	0.03938	84	75	8	1
7564	You will agree not to howl and chew the furniture over this break up.	1.1190	0.03938	84	75	8	1
7565	My client demands ruffly 20% raise in affection to compensate the 8-hour daily separation.	1.1190	0.04286	84	76	6	2
7566	She believes she's entitled to both houses.	1.1190	0.03555	84	74	10	0
7567	My client would be interested in your reaction to the quantity of bones specified on this piece of paper.	1.1190	0.03938	84	75	8	1
7568	Are the options under number one, number two, number three? Or under Fido?	1.1190	0.03938	84	75	8	1
7569	Her bark is much worse than her bite. Sign it.	1.1190	0.03555	84	74	10	0
7570	Three walks a day in alimony. It's our final offer.	1.1184	0.04576	76	69	5	2
7571	The Board has decided to meet your demands, Henderson, so just sign this NDA, and shake hands, and we'll put this whole unfortunate misunderstanding behind us.	1.1184	0.03488	76	69	6	1
7572	They dont negotiate with humans.	1.1184	0.03731	76	67	9	0
7573	You get the dog and I take the condo	1.1184	0.04175	76	68	7	1
7574	Please write on this piece of paper where and when you like to do your business along with how many treats.	1.1184	0.03731	76	67	9	0
7575	You can work from home if you want. When you do stop by, casual dress is OK and you can bring your dog.	1.1184	0.03731	76	67	9	0
7576	As you can see, a daily bath most certainly constitutes cruel and unusual punishment.'	1.1183	0.03698	93	83	9	1
7577	It's the standard rider clause about rider claws.	1.1183	0.03698	93	83	9	1
7578	Buddy is giving up on the marriage counseling. He wants a divorce.	1.1176	0.03893	85	76	8	1
7579	Rover refuses a reconciliation as your best friend"	1.1176	0.03893	85	76	8	1
7580	I think you'll find Sparky's offer very attractive, but we'll need an answer in 10 dog minutes.	1.1176	0.03515	85	75	10	0
7581	We're planning on just a short, written, question and answer session for your review."	1.1176	0.04459	68	61	6	1
7582	Sorry Skip,Mr Balsy didn’t like the smell of your crotch!	1.1176	0.03893	85	76	8	1
7583	You choose… your future is in the left hand or the right	1.1176	0.03893	85	76	8	1
7584	My client argues that he is in an unlawful conservatorship in lieu of the latest Britney Spears news.	1.1176	0.04013	102	95	3	4
7585	He wants to know if you think it's a dog-eat-dog world?	1.1170	0.03961	94	85	7	2
7586	Turn it over. One woof means you get a raise and two woofs mean you’re fired.	1.1170	0.03660	94	84	9	1
7587	Did you get the memo? We're now calling Severance Packages "Treats."	1.1170	0.03660	94	84	9	1
7588	We’ve all heard of a pre-nup. Well, this is a pre-nip.	1.1169	0.04123	77	69	7	1
7589	Please give orders only to me. I will stay and sit, but believe me, I will not roll over.	1.1169	0.04519	77	70	5	2
7590	And to sum up, no one besides Fido is allowed casual dress, even on Fridays.	1.1169	0.03685	77	68	9	0
7591	You choose: Shall game or shell game?	1.1169	0.04519	77	70	5	2
7592	My client, Mr. Wigglebutt, has some concerns about the snuggles clause.	1.1169	0.03685	77	68	9	0
7593	Simon, this is your last warning. You can no longer request "doggy style" as a typeface recommendation	1.1169	0.04519	77	70	5	2
7594	I'm afraid we're going with him. You'd want a salary but he'll work for his own spew.	1.1167	0.04808	60	54	5	1
7595	This is the fair settlement that Duke ought to receive. Then, you’ll see the paltry sum he’ll be settling for with your good conscience.	1.1165	0.03177	103	93	9	1
7596	Drunk agin	1.1163	0.03477	86	76	10	0
7597	Pick the one hiding a coin and you get the job!	1.1163	0.03477	86	76	10	0
7598	You get the house but Sparky here gets all the bones in the yard	1.1163	0.03477	86	76	10	0
7599	This is the amount of pawlimony you’ll owe once the divorce is finalized	1.1163	0.03477	86	76	10	0
7600	How about this offer? We've added a cash incentive in addition to the doggy treats.	1.1163	0.03477	86	76	10	0
7601	It's a favorite "slight-of-hand" illusion of mine. Keep your eye on the moving note pads. Winner gets to eat the savory biscuit hidden under one of the pads.	1.1163	0.03850	86	77	8	1
7602	And in return for his lifelong commitment of unconditional love, Skippy asks only that you mind your Ps and Qs.	1.1163	0.03850	86	77	8	1
7603	Just press your thumb in the space provided on the document. Then Fluffy will sign as witness.	1.1161	0.03040	112	99	13	0
7604	Finally, per the agreement, you agree to attend his premises daily to pick up and properly dispose of his fecal matter.	1.1159	0.03882	69	61	8	0
7605	My canine mind gets it while his human one seems lost	1.1159	0.04397	69	62	6	1
7606	I know technically the dog was your childhood pet, but he follows directions better than anyone else around here and he does not talk back. So the promotions goes to him. Here’s a 2 years advance of your allowance.	1.1159	0.04397	69	62	6	1
7607	We’ve come up with hundreds of proposals for what to do if we ever discover that the commissioner is a mummy. This is our top 45.	1.1159	0.03882	69	61	8	0
7608	Buster likes you, it's a yes!	1.1159	0.03882	69	61	8	0
7609	We embrace diversity	1.1158	0.03624	95	85	9	1
7610	You get the doghouse, Bella gets the house house. Take the deal or the paperwork gets eaten.	1.1158	0.03921	95	86	7	2
7611	My client says he's willing to make a deal but only if he gets 10% of the gross, access to the company jet, unlimited belly rubs, and you have to buy him a Golden Globes nomination.”	1.1158	0.03624	95	85	9	1
7612	Once you sign this, your dog is on the payroll, and you’re fired.	1.1158	0.03300	95	84	11	0
7613	Against my advice, my client is willing to let you have the house in exchange for sole ownership of all jointly owned properties which a reasonable person would identify as containing a "squeaker," and those primarily designed to convey kibble.	1.1154	0.04073	78	70	7	1
7614	It's just a standard, boilerplate pre-pup.	1.1154	0.03641	78	69	9	0
7615	Here are Jasper's demands. If you refuse to sign this agreement,he will move in with the family in apt upstairs...no negotiation.	1.1149	0.03439	87	77	10	0
7616	Sorry, Ned, but Rufus has been a far better friend to me. Sign for my car. Rufus can't drive.	1.1149	0.03239	87	79	7	1
7617	Yes,I know there was no dog in Succession	1.1143	0.04337	70	63	6	1
7618	And no one will have to chase the stick all of the time any longer. From now on you will take turns. Guess whose turn it is?	1.1143	0.04337	70	63	6	1
7619	Let's see how fast you can count to three.	1.1143	0.03830	70	62	8	0
7620	OK, he gets the house and you've got a week to move out.	1.1139	0.03597	79	70	9	0
7621	You need to get this bitch to sign a pre-nup.	1.1136	0.04099	88	80	6	2
7622	Write down the salary our rival company offered you, and we'll try to match it. In dog treats, of course.	1.1136	0.03403	88	78	10	0
7623	The pre-nup says you must feed and walk her every day.	1.1136	0.03403	88	78	10	0
7624	Just making sure you understand your rights.	1.1136	0.03403	88	78	10	0
7625	Mr. Woof finished his 500 word essay. You haven't started. You don't appear to be qualified for the comptroller position.	1.1134	0.03236	97	86	11	0
7626	Let's start with floor service meal culture before we hit you with command abuse.	1.1127	0.04726	71	65	4	2
7627	Now that Bosco has reached 27.5 months of age (16 in doggie years), he's retained me to assist him in filing this petition for emancipation.	1.1127	0.04279	71	64	6	1
7628	He’ll settle for boiled chicken and rice; breakfast and dinner; final offer.	1.1127	0.04279	71	64	6	1
7629	Sorry your Woof is not as good.	1.1125	0.03555	80	71	9	0
7630	Lets hope you have a fraction of the success with everything we throw at you!	1.1125	0.03555	80	71	9	0
7631	It's a good thing we got this table to hide our erections.	1.1125	0.04355	80	73	5	2
7632	He says that because he's your best child, he wants you to sign over all of your worldly goods to him upon your demise.	1.1125	0.03555	80	71	9	0
7633	The chewable slippers are non-negotiable.	1.1122	0.03205	98	87	11	0
7634	Before she moves in, you have sign a pre-nip!	1.1111	0.04648	81	75	3	3
7635	He is willing to let you keep the doghouse.	1.1111	0.03514	81	72	9	0
7636	Don't worry about the competition, his handwriting is often unreadable.	1.1111	0.04303	81	74	5	2
7637	CJ and I assure you Mr. Smith, these "Bacon Doctrine" documents are a mere formality."	1.1111	0.03687	90	81	8	1
7638	Dogbert can offer you an extra benefit: you don't have to bring the coal necessary to heat your office	1.1111	0.03514	81	72	9	0
7639	Ok Doug, can you come up with three good reasons we should hire you instead of my dog, besides the fact that your are a human being.	1.1111	0.03514	81	72	9	0
7640	And when my client goes to the "Big Dog Park in the Sky" you will receive two wishbones and a partially eaten squeaky toy.	1.1111	0.03730	72	64	8	0
7641	and in future you agree to use 'good ze'	1.1111	0.03928	81	73	7	1
7642	He’s seeking damages for unlawful distribution of bodily wastes.	1.1111	0.03928	81	73	7	1
7643	Biddie gets full use of the apartment, her daily walking service and all the treats she wants.	1.1111	0.04588	63	57	5	1
7644	Trust me,I'm a lawyer.	1.1111	0.04303	81	74	5	2
7645	Even a dog is more superior than a man without a job.	1.1111	0.04303	81	74	5	2
7646	With this contract you get an office with a window and yes, you can bring your pet turtle as a companion	1.1099	0.03297	91	81	10	0
7647	Mr. Givens, please sign this sexual harassment settlement agreement and make special note of the confidentiality provision.	1.1099	0.03297	91	81	10	0
7648	I hope you're not wagging the dog in this sales report.	1.1098	0.03883	82	74	7	1
7649	The divorce papers have been filed by Snickers and here is his list of demands.	1.1098	0.03473	82	73	9	0
7650	His olfactory perception is better than yours.	1.1098	0.03473	82	73	9	0
7651	Which one of you is more obedient?	1.1098	0.03883	82	74	7	1
7652	He's asked me to submit his dog food choices.	1.1098	0.03473	82	73	9	0
7653	My client feels he’s entitled to the Hamptons house by the dog beach, and you can keep the apartment in the city. But if you’re ever in town he’d really appreciate you bringing him some of those treats from the farmer’s market that he likes so much.	1.1098	0.03473	82	73	9	0
7654	As your supervisor, I efficiently model the desired new, hybrid behaviors for the workplace as stated in section 32.7w.iii. You, as you can see here, are non-compliant.	1.1098	0.03473	82	73	9	0
7655	This is my client's propose. It's time to be divorced.	1.1098	0.03473	82	73	9	0
7656	Skilled advertising creatives are so hard to come by! We want you on board so PLEASE, just pretend for our new CEO, Rufus? Trace your paw print like this and we have a deal?	1.1096	0.03681	73	65	8	0
7657	This is a list of the asset split my clint wants.	1.1096	0.03681	73	65	8	0
7658	Let's not kibble about this, my client gets the dog house free and clear.	1.1087	0.03927	92	84	6	2
7659	Finally, there’s just this last NDA to sign and we’re complete.	1.1087	0.03927	92	84	6	2
7660	The bow-out clause is ordinal K-9.	1.1084	0.03838	83	75	7	1
7661	Scoff if you will, but the terms that Mr. Wiggles is offering are nothing to sniff at.	1.1084	0.03434	83	74	9	0
7662	I'm sorry but the position calls for someone with more bitch experience.	1.1084	0.03434	83	74	9	0
7663	You can be fooled by that old wive's tale about; "man's best friend", but this young dog's tail has papers for a "friend's best man".	1.1084	0.03838	83	75	7	1
7664	Go on suddenly reach for the paper and K9 will get you faster than covid. Im just the dog handler Daddy will be here shortly to conduct your interview	1.1084	0.03434	83	74	9	0
7665	It is our hard day’s night contract.	1.1084	0.03434	83	74	9	0
7666	Your wife is divorcing you so you will need this certificate for a year of Burger King …	1.1084	0.03434	83	74	9	0
7667	Boomer inherits the house and a generous monthly allowance. Now be a good boy and sign off.	1.1084	0.03434	83	74	9	0
7668	Fluffy says you’re already in the doghouse so you might as well have it	1.1084	0.03838	83	75	7	1
7669	Signature? No, paw print.	1.1084	0.03838	83	75	7	1
7670	Write the amount of what you expect for your first year's salary – if it's lower than Fluffy's, you get the job.	1.1081	0.04112	74	67	6	1
7671	Here at the Scotty Cellular Network, we include our Mascot and C.E.O in all major decisions. Please provide him with a short explanation of what you have to offer the company, in point form and he will respond by barking	1.1081	0.03634	74	66	8	0
7672	It is ruff.	1.1081	0.04112	74	67	6	1
7673	Sign here. This is the woof and warp of the arrangment.	1.1081	0.04112	74	67	6	1
7674	Your dog already signed on; we're waiting for you to join.	1.1075	0.03230	93	83	10	0
7675	Signing this will enable my client to carry out his business in Europe.	1.1075	0.03573	93	84	8	1
7676	He trusts your loyalty. He just needs you to verify here.	1.1071	0.03395	84	75	9	0
7677	Here are his terms.	1.1071	0.03794	84	76	7	1
7678	Some apps show you're a dog, others don't.	1.1071	0.03794	84	76	7	1
7679	I think that you misunderstood me. I said meditate, not vegetate!	1.1071	0.03794	84	76	7	1
7680	gives a whole new meaning to dog gone it, doesn't it, hey	1.1067	0.04060	75	68	6	1
7681	Here is the list of grievances from my client.	1.1067	0.03588	75	67	8	0
7682	All he wants is a box of treats a week, his ball, his blanket and his bowls.	1.1067	0.04060	75	68	6	1
7683	Unfortunately Wilson we can't give you a raise this year but your benefit package will now include an extra week off this year all paid starting today.	1.1067	0.04060	75	68	6	1
7684	He's retained us to file for separation on grounds of not scratching his stomach any more.	1.1067	0.03588	75	67	8	0
7685	I think Rex should accept the offer. It’s a two film package, plus residuals.	1.1067	0.04060	75	68	6	1
7686	He wants the doghouse, the car and the large oak tree in the backyard. You can keep all the kibble.	1.1067	0.03588	75	67	8	0
7687	This one is the disclaimer that the home owners association reserves the right to call you a very good boy.	1.1067	0.04060	75	68	6	1
7688	Saying “It’s going to the dog” seems kind of petty. Don’t you think?	1.1067	0.04060	75	68	6	1
7689	I remind you, the windows are not legal exits.	1.1067	0.03588	75	67	8	0
7690	This is an agreement that says you will no longer Weald into the room when my client is on a Zoom call……..	1.1067	0.04060	75	68	6	1
7691	Since I am representing your dog, this might create a conflict of interest.	1.1064	0.03537	94	85	8	1
7692	She refuses to sweeten any kitties.	1.1064	0.03197	94	84	10	0
7693	Sign here if you agree with the divorce	1.1064	0.03197	94	84	10	0
7694	We would like to counter for half your treats	1.1061	0.04387	66	60	5	1
7695	Be a good boy and sign the NDA, and you can take Ruffles on a walk.	1.1061	0.03819	66	59	7	0
7696	How good are you at howling at the moon?	1.1061	0.03819	66	59	7	0
7697	Here is the 'pup-agreement' signed by you.	1.1061	0.03819	66	59	7	0
7698	My staff worked doggedly on this for 3 dog nights. So, doggone it don't be a hot dog and refuse to sign or we will carry you out of here in a doggy bag and you won't be the only thing in there.	1.1061	0.04387	66	60	5	1
7699	...and is this your card?	1.1059	0.03751	85	77	7	1
7700	Given you ruthlessly abandoned Rusty, I advise you to take this settlement offer.	1.1059	0.03751	85	77	7	1
7701	It is not extortion. This is a fair settlement. Do you think we want to go public with the peanut butter incidents?	1.1059	0.03751	85	77	7	1
7702	You'll see this prepup agreement protects both you and Mitzi.	1.1059	0.03357	85	76	9	0
7703	OK, Let's talk turkey.	1.1053	0.03808	95	87	6	2
7704	Which of the two os us will finally be hired for the position?	1.1053	0.04008	76	69	6	1
7705	I think you will find that Rufus's divorce demands are more than fair.	1.1053	0.03501	95	86	8	1
7706	This annual contract ensures that old Blue Menthol here is the only dog in you pack; that you’ll dispose of his defects before returning; you won’t be paid for time and distance of first and last 40 storeys; no holidays.	1.1053	0.03165	95	85	10	0
7707	Write as much of the alphabet as you know to determine your pay grade.	1.1053	0.04008	76	69	6	1
7708	This is the N D A . . since going outside is not always desirable .. .and in the event of any "leg hound" backsliding . .	1.1047	0.03709	86	78	7	1
7709	This is Mr. Winky’s final offer for you to join the team as belly scratcher.	1.1047	0.03709	86	78	7	1
7710	Don't worry. He doesn't bite.	1.1047	0.03709	86	78	7	1
7711	Here is a list of questions from the President of the Company, Mr Barks. I will step out of the room and let him conduct the rest of the interview.	1.1047	0.03709	86	78	7	1
7712	Now that Rover is on board, we can guarantee that our “automatic stay” support is the best in the business!	1.1047	0.03320	86	77	9	0
7713	Of course , Gigi here will keep the house and you’ll provide a generous allowance . You, in turn, will leave with your dignity intact given that Gigi has promised not to divulge in what ways your relationship disintegrated during the Pandemic.	1.1045	0.03765	67	60	7	0
7714	Now you write down what you want from the divorce	1.1039	0.04369	77	71	4	2
7715	I'm billing him for seven hours, so let's get to it.	1.1034	0.04016	87	80	5	2
7716	He'll concede on the shoe chewing, but you have to give a little on the daily belly rubs.	1.1034	0.03668	87	79	7	1
7717	My client insists on a non disclosure agreement.	1.1034	0.03284	87	78	9	0
7718	Your dog has a rather long list of claims, sir. A money settlement might be desirable."	1.1034	0.03284	87	78	9	0
7719	I just need to know if you'll require any special equipment in order to bark from home.	1.1034	0.03668	87	79	7	1
7720	Mr. Fluffy has highly recommended you Could I get a bit more info?.	1.1029	0.04263	68	62	5	1
7721	Congratulations on your promotion! Here is the list of your expanded duties and workload for no additional pay or recognition.	1.1026	0.03457	78	70	8	0
7722	And here is Rover's divorce petition, please read it carefully	1.1026	0.03909	78	71	6	1
7723	The final release: It's never "Bad dog!"	1.1026	0.03909	78	71	6	1
7724	Put your paw print on the dotted line.	1.1023	0.03628	88	80	7	1
7725	Just sign above the paw print; no pandemic puppy sitter today, so we got a special guest witness	1.1020	0.03852	49	46	2	1
7726	Bitch,you ain’t got what it takes.	1.1014	0.04203	69	63	5	1
7727	If you do not challenge the estate, my client is willing to let you walk him and pick up his poop.	1.1014	0.03661	69	62	7	0
7728	Please don’t make this harder than it needs to be. She’s already having a ruff time.	1.1013	0.03416	79	71	8	0
7729	Brandon is our Human Resource Manager, and your direct Supervisor. He will shadow you for 3 months and your go-to company person for questions. Welcome!!	1.1013	0.03862	79	72	6	1
7730	You need to take notes. Pookie doesn’t have opposable thumbs.	1.1013	0.03416	79	71	8	0
7731	If you lie down with other dogs, you get fleas and pleas.	1.1011	0.03589	89	81	7	1
7732	Sign here please.	1.1011	0.03214	89	80	9	0
7733	Don't say the thing you love most about humans is pets, because this one is mighty annoying.	1.1011	0.03214	89	80	9	0
7734	He wants the dog house and full support for the next 35 dog years--althiugh reconcialiartion is not out of the q	1.1000	0.03375	80	72	8	0
7735	This says he gets the dog house and a lifetime of kibbles and bits. Sign here.	1.1000	0.03815	80	73	6	1
7736	You need to fill out one more questionnaire, and after reviewing it Mr. Scruffles will decide if you qualify as a Good Boy.	1.1000	0.04210	80	74	4	2
7737	The premarital contract	1.1000	0.03815	80	73	6	1
7738	Left hand works the equalizer, right hand the keyboard. Any experience with heavy metal?”	1.1000	0.03375	80	72	8	0
7739	My client refuses to beg and roll over for you to sign the divorce papers.	1.1000	0.03180	90	81	9	0
7740	My client wishes to inform you that he will be fighting for joint custody of your pet guinea pig.	1.1000	0.03551	90	82	7	1
7741	I know Harry your my brother but we have to let you go we are replacing you with a robotic sweeper.. Sorry	1.1000	0.03815	80	73	6	1
7742	Sorry, Nick, but we've been training up Scottie, and he's taken to his new job like a duck to water.	1.1000	0.03815	80	73	6	1
7743	You understand she'll get 50% of the marital property.	1.0991	0.02849	111	100	11	0
7744	Iran poses an enormous threat to the entire world. It seems that at this point, there are only two possible outcomes: Regime change or massive, devastating war within months that can easily become a nuclear war.	1.0990	0.03302	101	92	8	1
7745	My client told you from the beginning he preferred to be called Bonaparte, but you insisted on the ridiculous name Big Toe. It's over Mr. Fumagalli...	1.0990	0.02987	101	91	10	0
7746	Here's my client's offer for your Oscar - it will certainly be enough to make it through the month.	1.0988	0.03336	81	73	8	0
7747	You keep the doghouse and the kennel.	1.0988	0.03770	81	74	6	1
7748	It's been decided: Chooch stays . You have to go...	1.0976	0.03297	82	74	8	0
7749	Go fetch.	1.0976	0.03297	82	74	8	0
7750	Tell your associate to brush his teeth next time.	1.0976	0.03297	82	74	8	0
7751	In this office you won't need to kiss the boss' ass.	1.0976	0.03297	82	74	8	0
7752	...and you'll get the squeaky bone every other weekend.	1.0976	0.03726	82	75	6	1
7753	Mr. Smith, Barkley here would like to have 2020 and 2021 recognized as a force majeure and requests that he be granted further leave compensating him for best friendship above and beyond the call of normal duty.	1.0976	0.03726	82	75	6	1
7754	The more chew toys, the more weekends with the puppies.	1.0968	0.03082	93	84	9	0
7755	My client is now suing you for banging on the New Year's Eve firecrackers.	1.0964	0.03259	83	75	8	0
7756	On the grounds of insufficient fetching.	1.0959	0.03470	73	66	7	0
7757	Room and Board including at least two meals plus treats or the suit moves forward. This copy is for the ASPCA.	1.0959	0.03470	73	66	7	0
7758	After I shuffle, choose your annual contract and salary.	1.0952	0.03222	84	76	8	0
7759	Mike, my client has a right to pretend I'm the best canine lawyer in Manhattan. Just sign here and allow Rudy to poop in your shoes when you come home late.	1.0952	0.03222	84	76	8	0
7760	Your job is to keep track of the star stocks.	1.0952	0.03222	84	76	8	0
7761	No, he doesn't want _his_ house.	1.0947	0.03371	95	87	7	1
7762	Equal rights at all levels in unpaid schools in the 21st century...	1.0946	0.03425	74	67	7	0
7763	Man or Beast is our Only Concern here.” Steve Carter, Newton, MA CSTMASSAGE@gmail.co	1.0938	0.02991	96	87	9	0
7764	Your share is dependent on eating out of a bowl on the floor.	1.0935	0.03394	107	99	6	2
7765	Ok,now which one is your paper under? Mike Turcotte, Wells, ME	1.0933	0.03382	75	68	7	0
7766	He wants to know if you have any experience picking up another species’ poop	1.0933	0.03382	75	68	7	0
7767	This is Fido's final offer.	1.0933	0.03382	75	68	7	0
7768	We're sorry, but it was clear from your resumes who was a good boy.	1.0923	0.03618	65	59	6	0
7769	He would like to divide assets proportionally according to age.	1.0923	0.03618	65	59	6	0
7770	Fido is seeking two bones in damages.	1.0923	0.03618	65	59	6	0
7771	OK, now you; remember, one syllable words only, and repetition is at the heart of advertising.	1.0921	0.03339	76	69	7	0
7772	Just one more dogument to sign...	1.0921	0.03829	76	70	5	1
7773	el sustituto	1.0920	0.03519	87	80	6	1
7774	Your home loan application has been denied; Bowser here doesn't think you and he will be best friends.	1.0920	0.03116	87	79	8	0
7775	It's this clause here that triggered a renegotiation of terms, set to begin when he "gets past the 'lanky legs' phase of puppyhood".	1.0909	0.03780	77	71	5	1
7776	You're a good boy, but it's been a ruff year for my client...	1.0909	0.03780	77	71	5	1
7777	He has asked you to sign as witness.	1.0909	0.03082	88	80	8	0
7778	Good news is, YOU get to CHOOSE! One is a gummy bear; the second is a hundred bucks, and the third is THE best severance package, Go on!	1.0909	0.03082	88	80	8	0
7779	Cruelty & Irreconcilable differences. She’s been vegan for 2 years	1.0909	0.03780	77	71	5	1
7780	Do you want me to fetch your own pen?	1.0909	0.04208	77	72	3	2
7781	This is the address for my dog house where you will work from home	1.0899	0.03049	89	81	8	0
7782	You were going to quit anyway.	1.0897	0.03257	78	71	7	0
7783	Baxter will not settle for a lifetime supply of kibble for remuneration for his years of service to you as his Emotional Support Dog upon your passing. Here is a list of his demands.	1.0897	0.03734	78	72	5	1
7784	ok, Scruffs gets promoted and Bob you get demoted	1.0897	0.03257	78	71	7	0
7785	This is our final counter offer. My claim claims you have been a bad boy.	1.0889	0.03017	90	82	8	0
7786	I think you'll find everything in order. Mr. Jiggles agrees to a lifetime of unconditional companionship. All you need to do is sign at the bottom and initial where marked "X". Don't screw it up.	1.0886	0.03218	79	72	7	0
7787	Sign it. All e need is a warm body.	1.0886	0.03218	79	72	7	0
7788	The first and only time I achieved a prostate orgasm was in the three hours between the deaths of Farrah Fawcett and Michael Jackson.	1.0886	0.03218	79	72	7	0
7789	Speaking of your claims against the dog, now you see them, now you don't. Take it like a man, there's no hope.	1.0882	0.03465	68	62	6	0
7790	That's right, we live in a no-fault state otherwise known as irreconcilable differences. Just sign here and I"ll file it tomorrow. It won't become final for 3 months in case you both change your minds.	1.0879	0.03369	91	84	6	1
7791	Which order in menu would you prefer?	1.0879	0.02985	91	83	8	0
7792	Your portion of the estate. We keep the rest, and the dog.	1.0875	0.04054	80	75	3	2
7793	This just says you’ll walk him every day and give him the treats of choice.	1.0864	0.03599	81	75	5	1
7794	You've both agreed to split amicably, but the dog does insist on keeping sole possession of the car.	1.0864	0.03599	81	75	5	1
7795	My client wishes to exchange the pet treats for 30% of your stocks,if that sounds good to you.	1.0864	0.03141	81	74	7	0
7796	Now see if you can write it without misspelling any words!	1.0864	0.04005	81	76	3	2
7797	Suit man : "Keep looking at the dog !" "Is there any differences between the dog on this piece of paper and the one you are looking on ?" The man checks the sheet. Suit man : "You loosed this fight, the instructions were pretty clear"	1.0860	0.02923	93	85	8	0
7798	You see,Bob, we have shown again and again you can win at 3 card Monty.	1.0860	0.03299	93	86	6	1
7799	Here's the terms of the divorce....	1.0857	0.03370	70	64	6	0
7800	WE MUST DESTROY THE AYATOLLAHS!	1.0857	0.03937	70	65	4	1
7801	Harley tells me you speak four dog languages!	1.0854	0.03557	82	76	5	1
7802	Here are the divorce papers based on irreconcilable differences over the dog food.	1.0854	0.03105	82	75	7	0
7803	I think you’ll find this woofer to your liking.	1.0854	0.03105	82	75	7	0
7804	He says your resume is lacking qualifications in Walkies.	1.0854	0.03105	82	75	7	0
7805	My client agrees to your terms.	1.0845	0.03324	71	65	6	0
7806	On this paper, I’ve written a number. It’s my client’s final offer. I think you’ll find it very generous.	1.0845	0.03324	71	65	6	0
7807	Now take time to read this, we don't both of you to be cavaliers.	1.0843	0.03069	83	76	7	0
7808	I will quickly shuffle these papers. You will notice, my hands never leave the wrists.	1.0843	0.03069	83	76	7	0
7809	Don't sign and all you have left is a bone to chew on.	1.0843	0.03515	83	77	5	1
7810	His terms are non-negotiable! Fresh kibble 24 hrs per day; 365 days per year. One (1) fresh can of Alpo per day; And broiled steak twice a week!!	1.0833	0.03280	72	66	6	0
7811	Now it's your turn bark to write! Human.	1.0833	0.03034	84	77	7	0
7812	Sign here Mr. Hanks! “Oh God 2022, We Have It All Backwards” is sure to be a blockbuster!!	1.0833	0.03474	84	78	5	1
7813	My client proposes a short-term relationship"	1.0824	0.02999	85	78	7	0
7814	As spokeperson for our CEO, Mr Fido, he has asked me to have you sign this NDA as part of your hire.	1.0824	0.02999	85	78	7	0
7815	Post pandemic, she's entitled to half your earnings, paid in treats and toys.	1.0820	0.03541	61	56	5	0
7816	Buddy, wants you to sign for your daycare agreement.	1.0811	0.03195	74	68	6	0
7817	While it's technically accurate, the B word is not acceptable here at Pet Smart. You're a BAD BOY!	1.0811	0.03195	74	68	6	0
7818	I raise you one against two sky scrapers, NO the dogs stays with the second building	1.0805	0.03358	87	81	5	1
7819	My client complains of the cheap and processed kiddles you are offering instead of the quality food it needs to stay healthy. Maria Boninsegna, Milan, Italy	1.0805	0.02933	87	80	7	0
7820	Do you understand, your dog is now one of us?	1.0794	0.03433	63	58	5	0
7821	The dog at my right is your supervisor. Do as he says, or he'll bite.	1.0794	0.03433	63	58	5	0
7822	Here is a copy of the dress code and Fido here will bark his approval.	1.0787	0.03285	89	83	5	1
7823	Buster would like to make this an amicable separation. He is prepared to offer custody of the puppies & kibble in exchange for living with your wife, and her organic, home-delivered meals.	1.0781	0.04049	64	60	3	1
7824	Well, this is the first divorce between man and dog that I've handled, buy let's get started	1.0779	0.03075	77	71	6	0
7825	Welcome to mediation. I understand the car ride here may have been awkward since the case is about going for more walks.	1.0779	0.03075	77	71	6	0
7826	His first demand is no more table scraps.	1.0769	0.03037	78	72	6	0
7827	You can have the house. She just wants your precious Le Corbusier sofa to pee on.	1.0769	0.03214	91	85	5	1
7828	Before we go "Out!" there are a few things we need to understand.	1.0769	0.03214	91	85	5	1
7829	You get the vacation dog house	1.0761	0.02779	92	85	7	0
7830	There is no glass in the window. So, don't throw the pencil away.	1.0761	0.02779	92	85	7	0
7831	OK you can adopt him now He judt signed the GOOD DOG Agreement	1.0753	0.03147	93	87	5	1
7832	Sign the doggone agreement, would you?	1.0746	0.03235	67	62	5	0
7833	Dog gone it is not going to get you that raise.	1.0741	0.02928	81	75	6	0
7834	The dog eats pencils and shreds paper with impressive cunning and speed, so whatever you compose, it may not have much of a chance of being read.	1.0737	0.02695	95	88	7	0
7835	No pen is needed for you to sign this contract.	1.0714	0.03100	70	65	5	0
7836	My client on the left will acquiesce-as I sit here I vehemently agree-that the breath fresheners are YOURS.	1.0714	0.02827	84	78	6	0
7837	My client is suing for compensatory digestive damages incurred during your high school years.	1.0706	0.02795	85	79	6	0
7838	Her inheritance from her human parent surrogate makes her demand for a palimony/prenup document a more than reasonable expectation prior to cohabitation. She sees no problem with fetching slippers, rolling over or playing dead on demand.	1.0698	0.02763	86	80	6	0
7839	It's a list of Roscoe's adoptive demands--sort of a doggone pre-nup! You MUST agree and sign, please.	1.0694	0.03017	72	67	5	0
7840	No, Its not three card molly let's start with why we're here.	1.0685	0.02977	73	68	5	0
7841	It’s a bit like the old shell game, except choose this one - the others go to the dogs of corporate culture.	1.0678	0.03301	59	55	4	0
7842	This section of our employment contract says you agree never to talk about Covid, guns, sex, politics, keto, Squid Game, plant-based meat, and....Well, take it home so you have time to read the whole list. Then sign on the dotted line.	1.0676	0.02938	74	69	5	0
7843	I know this looks barking mad...	1.0667	0.03247	60	56	4	0
7844	I gotta tell you, this harrowing tale you tell... You have some serious issues and I can't go out on a limb to help you. When you leave, I'm calling my daughter and tell her to come up here and take the dog for a nice walk, Okay?	1.0667	0.02900	75	70	5	0
7845	He is our master and you must sign a non-dog binding agreement.	1.0635	0.03835	63	60	2	1
7846	She is filing for divorce because you are in her doghouse.	1.0625	0.02723	80	75	5	0
7847	Yeah, we're a couple. A couple of LUNATICS!	1.0625	0.03050	64	60	4	0
7848	If you will give the vegan diet, he’ll come back.	1.0610	0.02659	82	77	5	0
7849	Long as I don’t join a union, you’re saying my job is safe? Yessiree, Bob - got the signatory urine right here.	1.0602	0.02628	83	78	5	0
7850	Mr Christmas Tree says ruff ruff ruff, I speak DOG. I ?you, but know you're married	1.0595	0.02597	84	79	5	0
7851	The competition is fierce.	1.0580	0.02834	69	65	4	0
7852	Now it's your turn for the writing test.	1.0575	0.02510	87	82	5	0
7853	It’s a separation agreement. My client tells me there are irreconcilable differences.	1.0568	0.02482	88	83	5	0
7854	We're sorry but you don't look enough like Mr Brimley to inherit his dog	1.0541	0.02647	74	70	4	0
7855	He want's to keep the house and puppies.	1.0541	0.02647	74	70	4	0
7856	No more "Who's the good dog?" crap. He gets the house and the yard.	1.0533	0.02612	75	71	4	0
7857	Sorry.You've been arf'd.	1.0526	0.03187	76	73	2	1
7858	I'll let you know as soon as my assistant checked your credentials	1.0423	0.02404	71	68	3	0
7859	A pink slip to start the new year!"	1.0182	0.01835	55	54	1	0

Contest #786

Cartoon

The winning captions

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