Contest #783


Cartoon

783

The winning captions

These captions are chosen by The New Yorker.

  1. “And how did being left on the plate make you feel?”
  2. “Maybe it’s time for you to stop being so good for everyone else and just be good for yourself.”
  3. “So, tell me, do you get steamed easily?”


Name Value
Submission deadline 2021-12-05T22:35:00.000Z
Voting started -
Voting ended 2021-12-19T22:36:00.000Z
Finalists announced 2021-12-13T22:36:00.000Z
Magazine(s) announcing finalists issued December 20, 2021
Number of captions 6304
Number of responses 771572
Number of participants -


Dashboard

In this table, the "mean" means the empirically measured average funniness score when the "unfunny", "somewhat funny" and "funny" receive a funniness score of 1, 2, 3 respectively. "Precison" is the standard error of the mean, the standard deviation of the mean estimate. With that, a caption with an empirical mean μ and precision σ has true mean in the range [μ - 2σ, μ + 2σ] with 95% probability by the 68-95-99.7 rule assuming the responses are indepedent and identically distributed.

Rank Caption Mean Precision Total votes "Unfunny" votes "Somewhat funny" votes "Funny" votes
0 What makes you think he just wants you as something on the side ? 1.8622 0.01558 2677 1079 888 710
1 It's perfectly normal to feel depressed around the hollandaise." 1.8455 0.01228 4827 2188 1197 1442
2 …And is the ‘Green Giant’ in the room with us right now? 1.8431 0.01557 2773 1183 842 748
3 When I saw 'B. Spears' on my schedule, I expected someone else. 1.8269 0.01662 2427 1060 727 640
4 Usually, I treat couch potatoes. 1.7993 0.01384 3328 1461 1074 793
5 Believe in yourself. If cauliflower can become pizza, you can do anything. 1.7938 0.01528 2731 1210 874 647
6 And how did being left on the plate make you feel? 1.7702 0.01467 2828 1260 958 610
7 No, I'd say you're completely sane. I'm the one talking to a giant stick of broccoli. 1.7686 0.01729 2204 1040 634 530
8 If you think it’s not easy being green, you should try being black. 1.7651 0.01381 3521 1693 962 866
9 I'm afraid that you're in a persistent vegetative state. 1.7503 0.01281 3805 1781 1193 831
10 I'm afraid our time is up, although you really need another 10 minutes. 1.7489 0.01757 1967 906 649 412
11 It appears that you have Florets syndrome. 1.7486 0.01441 3071 1462 919 690
12 I'm going to prescribe a mild fertilizer. 1.7476 0.01306 3522 1615 1181 726
13 What happened after they invited you for a dip? 1.7424 0.01282 3695 1721 1205 769
14 You seem to be suffering from an edible complex. 1.7320 0.01747 1974 930 643 401
15 Did my mom send you? 1.7292 0.01899 1721 830 527 364
16 It appears you’re stuck in a persistent vegetative state. 1.7260 0.01765 1861 864 643 354
17 So, you feel you’re being stalked? 1.7256 0.01485 2664 1248 899 517
18 It's not just your kids that hate you. All kids hate you. 1.7241 0.01231 4219 2091 1201 927
19 Relax. Kale is a fad. Broccoli is forever. 1.7234 0.01705 1938 888 698 352
20 Yes, you are good for them, but are they good for you? 1.7209 0.01672 2096 988 705 403
21 When did you first suspect you're genetically modified? 1.7198 0.01312 3397 1603 1143 651
22 Maybe she has a lot on her plate? 1.7185 0.01829 1819 881 569 369
23 You have an unresolved edible complex. 1.7172 0.01645 2281 1117 692 472
24 You aren’t paranoid — most people do hate you. 1.7152 0.01714 2054 995 649 410
25 I'm sick of hearing about kale,too. 1.7074 0.01580 2290 1087 786 417
26 No, you're not imagining it. No one likes you. 1.6967 0.01643 2199 1087 692 420
27 Let me start our session by admitting that I have never liked you 1.6966 0.01539 2485 1222 795 468
28 Let's explore what's making you so bitter. 1.6913 0.01915 1474 696 537 241
29 It's not a bad thing for people to like you for your head and not your body... 1.6852 0.01602 2297 1152 716 429
30 So you were assigned ‘tree’ at sprouting, but identify as ‘broccoli’? 1.6822 0.01659 2228 1149 638 441
31 Visualize yourself as a main dish. 1.6799 0.01613 2159 1062 726 371
32 You're not wrong, most kids do hate you. 1.6789 0.01871 1666 839 523 304
33 You are a tree! You have to expect certain things from a dog. 1.6772 0.01980 1515 773 458 284
34 I’m going to have to refer you to our branch office. 1.6751 0.01866 1548 750 551 247
35 Unlike cauliflower, you made it this far without white privilege. 1.6742 0.01790 1909 996 539 374
36 Maybe finding your roots will give us some answers. 1.6726 0.01769 1729 843 609 277
37 No, you’re not crazy. Very few people like you. 1.6673 0.01631 2131 1076 688 367
38 Nobody liked kale ten years ago. 1.6633 0.02110 1185 579 426 180
39 Your kids may not like you now, but they will someday. 1.6571 0.01844 1598 802 542 254
40 It's time to tell your parents you are deciduous. 1.6492 0.02016 1374 709 438 227
41 Have you considered the hot tub might not be the best place for you to relax? 1.6466 0.01884 1582 822 497 263
42 Listen, kids don’t like me either. 1.6420 0.03213 514 261 176 77
43 This feeling of being unwanted and unloved, you say it happens around dinnertime every night? 1.6409 0.01982 1356 692 459 205
44 Comparing yourself to Kale will only lead to more suffering. 1.6395 0.01913 1531 804 475 252
45 Why do you think you need Cheese to feel complete? 1.6389 0.01909 1407 706 503 198
46 Wow--you really seem steamed! 1.6371 0.02028 1298 667 435 196
47 Tell me again why I should go green. 1.6333 0.02286 1358 822 212 324
48 You think no one likes you, yet you're always invited to the party platter? 1.6309 0.02712 699 356 245 98
49 Those voices are not in your head, they're squirrels. 1.6286 0.02206 1260 707 314 239
50 Ok, now I'm going to grill you. 1.6268 0.02154 1171 618 372 181
51 While I'm not a nutritionist, I can assure you, you ARE good for him. 1.6209 0.02127 1216 652 373 191
52 Cheese is not the answer. 1.6183 0.02626 786 420 246 120
53 Maybe it’s time for you to stop being so good for everyone else and just be good for yourself. 1.6178 0.02296 1065 580 312 173
54 You’re too embittered. 1.6160 0.02574 1073 666 153 254
55 And how long have you had these feelings of being uprooted? 1.6000 0.02403 865 458 295 112
56 Have you thought about putting down roots somewhere? 1.5986 0.02465 852 460 274 118
57 Dogs pee on ALL trees. It’s not just you. 1.5966 0.02539 823 451 253 119
58 Your looking at it the wrong way. People hating broccoli is actually good for you. 1.5945 0.02582 836 471 233 132
59 Sometimes it's good to just lay on the couch and veg. 1.5944 0.02496 885 496 252 137
60 Let's start when you were a broccolini... 1.5925 0.02591 773 422 244 107
61 In my experience, the dip is free to see other vegetables. 1.5915 0.02748 749 427 201 121
62 Perhaps you need to stop being good for everybody else. 1.5849 0.02717 754 431 205 118
63 Okay, so your stripper name is Broccolini? 1.5848 0.02890 684 396 176 112
64 It was my mother, wasn't it, who sent you here? 1.5843 0.02809 700 399 193 108
65 You fell. No one heard. Get over it. 1.5836 0.02970 682 406 154 122
66 and when did you realize you were just a side dish? 1.5828 0.02765 688 384 207 97
67 Mr. Brock, you have to be patient with therapy. After all, you have been in a vegetative state for some time. 1.5828 0.02600 791 445 231 115
68 We start by accepting the fact your parents were nuts. 1.5816 0.02992 674 403 150 121
69 What's eating you now? 1.5794 0.02902 642 365 182 95
70 Of course you fell. Even if no one heard. 1.5791 0.02765 708 403 200 105
71 So tell me do you get steamed easily ? 1.5769 0.02736 683 380 212 91
72 So - anger issues, I gather. You're easily steamed? 1.5755 0.02708 695 387 216 92
73 And how does it make you feel when you come home for the hollandaise? 1.5750 0.03024 647 387 148 112
74 “I am certain that when you fell, you were heard.” 1.5724 0.02979 580 326 176 78
75 It could be worse. The brussel sprout is here twice a week. 1.5721 0.02968 645 380 161 104
76 So your kids hate you? All kids hate broccoli. 1.5698 0.02792 681 390 194 97
77 I can see you're steamed... 1.5694 0.02870 620 349 189 82
78 I’m sure the kids will appreciate you when they’re older. 1.5693 0.02865 592 326 195 71
79 So, why do you think everyone just wants to bite your head off? 1.5685 0.02955 584 329 178 77
80 You can't take what children say about you so personally 1.5665 0.02844 609 339 195 75
81 What’s eating you? 1.5662 0.03039 604 356 154 94
82 You seem bitter. 1.5656 0.02941 564 313 183 68
83 When you said you wanted to ‘veg out,’ I thought you meant drinking beer and watching some football. 1.5627 0.03051 558 320 162 76
84 It's not easy being Black either. 1.5608 0.03029 576 334 161 81
85 You’re right. She likes you and you are good for her, but not in the way you think. 1.5601 0.03081 541 310 159 72
86 “Are you sure she has someone else on the side?” 1.5600 0.03021 550 312 168 70
87 Well I bet they like you more than homework and bedtime. 1.5591 0.02771 626 349 204 73
88 And you’re afraid your own kids won’t like you either? 1.5584 0.02976 582 335 169 78
89 Tell me about your dream that everyone wants to eat your head but hates your body. 1.5562 0.03091 507 285 162 60
90 Sure kale has grown in popularity as of late, but you really need to focus on what you bring to the table. 1.5560 0.03109 545 318 151 76
91 Of course you think no one likes you...you're broccoli. 1.5559 0.02927 590 338 176 76
92 I'd say it's garden-variety depression. 1.5558 0.03158 529 309 146 74
93 Why do YOU think you’re so bitter? 1.5541 0.03055 545 314 160 71
94 My kids don't like me either. 1.5533 0.03030 535 304 166 65
95 So what’s your pronoun? 1.5523 0.03072 583 349 146 88
96 I still can't let go of what George Bush said about me. 1.5508 0.03039 541 311 162 68
97 It's ok. Organic does not automatically mean happy. 1.5495 0.03201 495 287 144 64
98 Tell me how you felt when the boy said ‘yuck.’ 1.5483 0.03053 538 311 159 68
99 Really? She left you for broccolini? Man you must be steamed! 1.5480 0.03101 562 336 144 82
100 In your case, "finding your roots" is more of a necessity than a hobby. 1.5438 0.03105 502 288 155 59
101 To be honest we all feel a little dismayed by kale's prominence. 1.5417 0.03212 480 279 142 59
102 But it will turn to beautiful colors before it all falls out. 1.5411 0.03222 499 296 136 67
103 I’m sorry. I misunderstood when you said you were steamed. 1.5382 0.03125 498 289 150 59
104 It’s totally natural to feel like you are being stalked 1.5380 0.03298 474 282 129 63
105 So, you go limp after a few days no matter who you go home with? 1.5374 0.03572 441 273 99 69
106 Tell me why you feel like you're being stalked. 1.5374 0.03204 495 293 138 64
107 Excuse me. Tell me do you identify as tree or broccoli? 1.5368 0.03172 544 333 130 81
108 It could be floret’s syndrome. 1.5358 0.03479 461 285 105 71
109 When you decided to transition from a couch potato, what made you choose broccoli? 1.5346 0.03401 477 294 111 72
110 Let’s begin with why you’re steamed. 1.5346 0.03362 477 291 117 69
111 I note some improvement, but you're not out of the woods yet. 1.5345 0.03296 464 275 130 59
112 What was your third wish? 1.5341 0.03586 425 261 101 63
113 In order to find out who you really are, you’ll need to rediscover your roots. 1.5341 0.03389 455 274 119 62
114 I can tell you've been steamed. 1.5332 0.03473 407 239 119 49
115 Now, let’s work on your fear of dips. 1.5327 0.03331 413 236 134 43
116 You say all the kids at school hated you? 1.5318 0.03445 425 253 118 54
117 So, the voices in your head turned out to be a family of squirrels? 1.5301 0.03450 432 260 115 57
118 I have a degree in Psychiatree 1.5269 0.03562 391 233 110 48
119 It's okay to identify as a carrot... 1.5257 0.03568 428 266 99 63
120 So you say you have no roots? 1.5252 0.03361 417 244 127 46
121 And what did the dog do next? 1.5244 0.03591 410 252 101 57
122 If you could talk to the puppy who peed on you right now, what would you say? 1.5241 0.03554 395 237 109 49
123 To solve your problem we need to go back to your roots. 1.5236 0.03371 424 251 124 49
124 You're not alone in feeling uprooted. 1.5230 0.03264 457 272 131 54
125 .....you're sure she accused you of being a stalker? 1.5227 0.03311 440 261 128 51
126 I don't think a "Free Broccoli Spears" movement will catch on. 1.5222 0.03606 427 269 93 65
127 They're birds. That's where they live. 1.5220 0.03386 410 241 124 45
128 And that's when your mother threw away your purple rubber band? 1.5219 0.04062 343 218 71 54
129 You have an Oedible complex. 1.5217 0.03581 391 236 106 49
130 It's OK to feel angry, just try to avoid getting steamed. 1.5206 0.03565 388 233 108 47
131 Of course you made a sound when you fell. 1.5175 0.03592 400 246 101 53
132 When did you start identifying as non-cruciferous? 1.5165 0.03658 393 244 95 54
133 Ethically, I shouldn’t be seeing you on an empty stomach. 1.5165 0.03626 395 244 98 53
134 It’s not your imagination. Everybody hates you. 1.5139 0.03482 395 237 113 45
135 I’m afraid that’s all the thyme we have. 1.5134 0.03481 409 249 110 50
136 Every year we go through this. Your leaves WILL come back next spring. 1.5094 0.03594 373 226 104 43
137 So, you fell in the forest, but nobody heard a sound. How does that make you feel? 1.5081 0.03616 370 225 102 43
138 You can't make people like you. 1.5080 0.03506 374 223 112 39
139 It isn't anything personal, its just what dogs do. 1.5080 0.03627 374 229 100 45
140 Let’s focus on your fiber content instead of the assumption that nobody likes you. 1.5077 0.03585 388 239 101 48
141 When did you first feel a Green Giant was stalking you?. 1.5076 0.03836 331 202 90 39
142 Well, the bad news is that you're going to be a vegetable for he rest of your life. 1.5067 0.03920 373 244 69 60
143 You're not being paranoid. Most people don't like you. 1.5066 0.03566 377 229 105 43
144 You fell in the woods, no one was there. Yes. It is quite existential. 1.5060 0.03739 334 201 97 36
145 How do you feel about being cut off from your family? 1.5055 0.03597 364 220 104 40
146 How do you feel about no one hearing you fall? 1.5030 0.03862 328 202 87 39
147 You've really got to stop that stalking behavior. 1.5030 0.03811 334 205 90 39
148 Have you tried a simple vinaigrette conditioner? 1.5029 0.03785 348 216 89 43
149 Heavy is the head that wears the crown. 1.5021 0.04686 235 148 56 31
150 You think you're crazy? I'm talking to a tree. 1.5015 0.04033 325 207 73 45
151 You've got the most extreme case of persistent vegatative state I've ever seen. 1.5015 0.03759 343 211 92 40
152 It’s not paranoia when everyone does hate you. 1.5014 0.03702 353 217 95 41
153 So, you’ve been feeling disconnected from your roots lately? 1.5000 0.03828 332 205 88 39
154 So you're saying that in your nightmare he was neither green nor jolly? 1.4986 0.03897 345 220 78 47
155 Yes, but with dogs, it's a sign of respect. 1.4985 0.04014 327 209 73 45
156 I hate to admit this, as I’m a caring and professional therapist, but I don’t like you either. 1.4973 0.03636 370 230 96 44
157 I thought we were going out tonight but it looks like you just want to veg out again. 1.4973 0.03562 366 223 104 39
158 The good news is, you're not paranoid. The bad news is that everyone really does hate broccoli. 1.4970 0.03972 334 214 74 46
159 Well, if it's any consolation, at least your pee does not smell 1.4969 0.04019 324 207 73 44
160 In a sense, we're all in a vegetative state. 1.4957 0.03644 349 213 99 37
161 And you feel these changes seasonally? 1.4955 0.03778 335 207 90 38
162 Just get comfortable while I slip down to the break room for some Ranch. 1.4953 0.03842 319 196 88 35
163 Actually, "vegetative state" is a sliding scale. 1.4938 0.03798 324 199 90 35
164 Somebody's stalking you? 1.4937 0.03920 316 197 82 37
165 You’ve grown a lot since our last session. 1.4925 0.03842 333 209 84 40
166 But are others good for YOU? 1.4923 0.03907 323 203 81 39
167 No, I don’t think your fear of woks is unreasonable. 1.4905 0.03816 316 194 89 33
168 I can see how you're feeling a little uprooted. 1.4899 0.03448 347 205 114 28
169 These carrots you talk about, are they in the room with us right now? 1.4890 0.03943 319 202 78 39
170 Stop telling everyone you meet how good you are for them. 1.4887 0.04064 309 198 71 40
171 And how does that make you feel, being unable to grow in Brooklyn? 1.4885 0.03861 305 187 87 31
172 Thank you, you are very kind. I do my own hair. 1.4885 0.03718 348 218 90 40
173 Let’s go back to your salad days… 1.4869 0.03961 306 192 79 35
174 So, you feel you were uprooted at an early age? 1.4868 0.03842 304 186 88 30
175 Your partner is a Dip. 1.4863 0.03901 329 210 78 41
176 Do you often feel that you are being stalked? 1.4862 0.04094 290 183 73 34
177 So what if no one was there? You still made a sound. 1.4845 0.03738 322 198 92 32
178 You gotta move on from the Bush 41 comment. 1.4841 0.03984 283 174 81 28
179 Actually you are not delusional -- everyone does hate broccoli 1.4821 0.04171 280 178 69 33
180 How long have you been in this vegetative state?" 1.4821 0.03951 307 194 78 35
181 Let's put aside children and focus on people who like you. 1.4820 0.03943 305 192 79 34
182 So, you feel that kale is responsible for this insecurity? 1.4812 0.03832 320 201 84 35
183 I think finding your roots is a good first step. 1.4808 0.04065 287 181 74 32
184 And how did it make you feel when she called your whole family cruciferous? 1.4801 0.04142 277 175 71 31
185 This probably isn't going to help, but I also hate you. 1.4795 0.04158 292 189 66 37
186 You have to realize that your nightmares are not based in reality. Children do not eat broccoli. It just doesn't happen. 1.4792 0.04379 265 172 59 34
187 Not everyone can wear the crown. 1.4791 0.04201 263 165 70 28
188 Just give me two minutes and you're done. 1.4789 0.04127 284 181 70 33
189 So you fell in the forest and no one heard you? 1.4787 0.04148 282 180 69 33
190 So you are saying that no one heard you fall? 1.4787 0.04207 305 203 58 44
191 Let's start with your vegetable dip phobia. 1.4773 0.03786 331 210 84 37
192 In your case, I'd be wary of the people who say they do like you. 1.4768 0.03915 302 190 80 32
193 But does freedom require that you never establish any roots? 1.4767 0.03819 300 185 87 28
194 You don’t have an inferiority complex. People really don’t like you. 1.4762 0.03934 294 184 80 30
195 I know it’s not easy being green… what about being cut off from your family? Did that get you steamed? 1.4757 0.04037 309 201 69 39
196 Salt is a good start, Doug, but real flavor comes from within. 1.4757 0.04084 288 184 71 33
197 She called me a stalker. 1.4748 0.03717 318 197 91 30
198 I WAS the superfood and now it’s all kale, kale, kale. 1.4743 0.04534 253 167 52 34
199 I don’t trust vegetarians either. 1.4742 0.04052 291 186 72 33
200 That's not what I meant when I suggested you branch out a bit. 1.4739 0.04064 287 183 72 32
201 We all suffer loss. You should be grateful yours is seasonal and not permanent. 1.4737 0.03993 285 179 77 29
202 You’re a deciduous tree. It’s November. You’ve got to let go. 1.4729 0.04260 258 164 66 28
203 You can crash on my couch, but you’re on your own if she catches you dipping again with a side dish. 1.4716 0.04469 282 193 45 44
204 I don’t like you either. 1.4706 0.04354 272 180 56 36
205 Well, we can't all be kale 1.4706 0.04260 272 177 62 33
206 Maybe you just imagine it's always the same dog. 1.4696 0.04509 247 162 54 31
207 You know there are other partners besides melted cheese 1.4695 0.04211 262 167 67 28
208 I see you've been to my barber. 1.4672 0.04140 274 176 68 30
209 I think we’re seeing some growth here. 1.4659 0.04355 264 174 57 33
210 So, you're worried about being stalked? 1.4653 0.04051 288 186 70 32
211 Tell me more about feeling stalked. 1.4648 0.04388 256 168 57 31
212 How long have you had this feeling that children hate you? 1.4648 0.04353 256 167 59 30
213 So you feel rootless? 1.4647 0.03887 269 165 83 21
214 Are you still having that nightmare about the salad spinner? 1.4645 0.04205 282 186 61 35
215 I suggest we dig into your roots a bit. 1.4643 0.03601 308 188 97 23
216 Before I accept you as a patient, do you mind my asking if you are deciduous? 1.4638 0.04020 276 175 74 27
217 People rarely come here just to veg out on the couch. 1.4635 0.04008 274 173 75 26
218 Have you thought about seeing other trees, even if you can’t see the forest? 1.4633 0.04070 300 198 65 37
219 It's perfectly normal to feel nobody likes you. 1.4632 0.03995 272 171 76 25
220 Well of course nobody loves you. You're broccoli." 1.4627 0.04184 255 162 68 25
221 Well, it certainly is possible that no one heard you fall in that forest. But, rest assured, I’m listening now. 1.4627 0.04184 255 162 68 25
222 No, it’s not cultural appropriation. That’s your hair. 1.4627 0.04240 268 175 62 31
223 Being uprooted is never easy. 1.4625 0.04208 253 161 67 25
224 Yes of course I like you - I like all my vegetables. 1.4618 0.03896 275 171 81 23
225 You have to stop obsessing about Brussel Sprouts, they had their moment in the sun, you will too! 1.4615 0.04051 273 174 72 27
226 I'm sorry, but couch broccoli doesn't quite have the right ring to it. 1.4612 0.04269 232 145 67 20
227 Don't let the little stuff worry you. You're doing a great job getting carbon out of the atmosphere. 1.4609 0.04280 256 166 62 28
228 I think you'll be much better after some time in the steam room. 1.4604 0.04275 265 174 60 31
229 Look, kids hate you and after 6 weeks of this I am not to fond of you either. 1.4603 0.04182 252 160 68 24
230 Well, at least you're healthy." 1.4600 0.04206 250 159 67 24
231 So, let me get this right. There was nobody there and you still made a sound? 1.4600 0.04429 250 165 55 30
232 What do you think this stems from? 1.4595 0.04208 259 167 65 27
233 And have you tried telling the dog how that makes you feel? 1.4591 0.04303 257 168 60 29
234 To begin, let's talk about this fear of boiling water. 1.4590 0.04434 244 160 56 28
235 You have so much more to add to a relationship than just fibre. 1.4588 0.04032 255 159 75 21
236 Why is it important that everyone like you? 1.4582 0.03939 299 194 73 32
237 At least you're not a couch potato. 1.4582 0.04268 251 162 63 26
238 Your sense of self-worth shouldn’t depend on whether you’re organic or not. 1.4581 0.04379 227 144 62 21
239 So, you're worried your salad days are all behind you? 1.4580 0.04137 262 168 68 26
240 In your case, stalking isn't a crime. 1.4571 0.04382 245 160 58 27
241 So you'd rather be a couch potato? 1.4571 0.04678 245 168 42 35
242 Deep down, you know why your children won't have you for dinner. 1.4571 0.04071 280 182 68 30
243 Maybe you are carrying this plant based thing too far. 1.4567 0.03978 289 187 72 30
244 Who's stalking you? 1.4567 0.04194 254 163 66 25
245 If you really love this cauliflower, who cares if her parents approve? 1.4566 0.03925 265 165 79 21
246 But does everybody HAVE to like you? 1.4563 0.04437 252 168 53 31
247 Give it to me raw 1.4557 0.04287 237 151 64 22
248 Life is roughage. 1.4553 0.04158 257 165 67 25
249 So, what makes you think you’re being stalked? 1.4549 0.04238 244 156 65 23
250 You may be good for lots of people, but let’s focus on what’s good for YOU. 1.4538 0.04194 260 169 64 27
251 And then the dog lifted his leg ...? 1.4533 0.03916 289 186 75 28
252 And when were you first told that you’d never be a superfood? 1.4531 0.04169 256 165 66 25
253 First of all, no food on the couch. 1.4519 0.04539 239 160 50 29
254 I am sure you made a sound even if no one was there. 1.4516 0.04378 248 164 56 28
255 Getting people to like you just requires simple things. Try a smile and some cheese sauce 1.4508 0.03827 295 189 79 27
256 Honestly, I don’t like you either. 1.4505 0.04112 273 179 65 29
257 It’s okay if you don’t like kids, they don’t like you either 1.4504 0.04273 262 174 58 30
258 So …what do you suppose brought on this vegetative state? 1.4496 0.04144 258 167 66 25
259 Not everyone likes what's good for them. 1.4492 0.04093 256 164 69 23
260 You know, it's just a joke when they say "Act like a tree and leave". 1.4490 0.04262 245 159 62 24
261 So tell me again why you can’t see the forest. 1.4489 0.04665 225 151 47 27
262 So I gather you think both you parents were nuts? 1.4488 0.04300 254 168 58 28
263 I'm sensing a hint of bitterness. 1.4486 0.04288 243 158 61 24
264 Hmmm, sounds like a classic edible complex to me. 1.4484 0.04823 223 153 40 30
265 Not everyone is going to like you, and that’s OK. 1.4481 0.04232 241 155 64 22
266 It not just you, kids don’t like a lot of things. 1.4480 0.04123 250 160 68 22
267 Well, I think it would be healthy for you to move out of your parents refrigerator and get a place of your own. 1.4478 0.03777 297 190 81 26
268 You do come off a little bitter. 1.4478 0.04065 268 174 68 26
269 They’re just using you to get to dessert. 1.4476 0.04186 248 160 65 23
270 No. In your case a constant fear of axes, hatchets and chainsaws is not irrational. 1.4475 0.04117 257 166 67 24
271 It's all about realising your inherent nutritional value. 1.4473 0.04487 237 158 52 27
272 I know I’m your therapist. I’m here to help you. I don’t have to like you. 1.4464 0.04369 224 144 60 20
273 Why so bitter?” 1.4454 0.04142 238 151 68 19
274 So, how long have you been in a vegetative state?" 1.4449 0.04155 263 173 63 27
275 I just feel so raw these days. 1.4444 0.04058 234 146 72 16
276 Let's start by going back to your roots and then we can branch out. 1.4440 0.03982 259 165 73 21
277 It's not a big problem. I don't like the Bush family either. 1.4435 0.04184 248 161 64 23
278 How long have you had these feelings of constantly being stalked? 1.4435 0.04457 239 160 52 27
279 Your anger at kale's popularity is a classic case of Brassica envy. 1.4421 0.04337 242 160 57 25
280 So how long has this Celery been stalking you? 1.4416 0.04162 274 184 59 31
281 Yes I have heard that heavy is the stalk that bears the crown. 1.4409 0.04422 220 143 57 20
282 It’s just the same story each day, always a side dish never an entree. 1.4407 0.04077 236 149 70 17
283 We can’t change people confusing you with cauliflower, but we CAN change how you respond to it. 1.4402 0.04588 209 137 52 20
284 Just to get started, what the fuck are you? 1.4398 0.04543 241 165 46 30
285 Awesome fro! 1.4398 0.04669 216 145 47 24
286 How about less about kale and more about you? 1.4395 0.04470 223 147 54 22
287 My advice, just let him go. He’s a baseball bat now. 1.4395 0.04734 223 153 42 28
288 You can't veg out on the sofa all day 1.4393 0.04253 239 156 61 22
289 Yes, you will be a vegetable for the rest of your life 1.4386 0.04529 228 153 50 25
290 Relax. It's perfectly natural to long for roots. 1.4384 0.04575 219 146 50 23
291 No, you’re not being paranoid. People just don’t like you. 1.4380 0.04334 242 161 56 25
292 Look at it this way, at least you’re not cauliflower. 1.4378 0.04269 217 138 63 16
293 Don't worry, many feel rootless these days. 1.4375 0.03933 256 163 74 19
294 Have you considered thinking of it as dogs showering you with affection? 1.4366 0.04762 213 145 43 25
295 Sometimes we all struggle to see the florets through the trees. 1.4361 0.04231 227 146 63 18
296 Your mother's not the only one who hates you. 1.4350 0.04512 223 149 51 23
297 Are you sure it's not all in your head? 1.4350 0.04468 223 148 53 22
298 She won't date you because you're not organic? 1.4348 0.04281 230 150 60 20
299 So mid-summer then is when it all came to a head? 1.4348 0.04539 230 156 48 26
300 If I had known you were going to plant yourself on the sofa, I would have left you outside. 1.4346 0.04112 260 172 63 25
301 How long have you and cheese been together? 1.4341 0.04597 205 135 51 19
302 Cauliflower rice,cauliflower steaks,cauliflower pizza! I just can’t compete! 1.4340 0.04084 235 150 68 17
303 Just because no person heard it doesn't make your fall insignificant. 1.4329 0.04310 231 152 58 21
304 So it was getting a little steamy - what happened next? 1.4326 0.04442 215 141 55 19
305 Trust me, if a tree falls in the city, your lawyer’s gonna hear about it. 1.4325 0.04129 252 166 63 23
306 It’s not easy being green. 1.4320 0.04421 206 133 57 16
307 Have you thought it might be time to put down some roots? 1.4320 0.04579 206 136 51 19
308 Reconnect with your roots. 1.4317 0.04319 227 149 58 20
309 You should start by recognizing that you are not a member of the V-8 family. Stop stalking them. 1.4316 0.04139 234 151 65 18
310 You'll be happy to hear that you're definitely out of the woods now. 1.4316 0.04355 234 156 55 23
311 When did you first develop these feelings of being unrooted? 1.4315 0.04461 241 165 48 28
312 Well. it isn't easy to be black either. 1.4304 0.04409 230 154 53 23
313 It may be is time for you to put down some roots. 1.4299 0.04401 221 146 55 20
314 Don't worry. It's not all in your head. 1.4293 0.04325 205 131 60 14
315 I think you suffer from seasonal depression. 1.4293 0.04846 205 141 40 24
316 I can see where being asked to bring along some dip to the party might be cause for some concern. 1.4292 0.04331 226 149 57 20
317 I may have to refer you to my branch office. 1.4286 0.04341 238 160 54 24
318 Just remember, THOSE trees end up at the curb. 1.4286 0.04360 210 136 58 16
319 How long have you been having these "smothered in cheese" nightmares? 1.4280 0.04113 243 159 64 20
320 I think it's a case of Floret's syndrome 1.4279 0.04507 229 156 48 25
321 And the body image negativity first manifested around the time you met broccolini? 1.4273 0.04642 220 151 44 25
322 I keep getting mistaken for broccoli. I’m sick and tired of it. I’m a tree. 1.4273 0.04413 220 146 54 20
323 Maybe you can answer the age-old question: does it make a sound? 1.4272 0.04614 213 144 47 22
324 You can't just blame the recipes. 1.4262 0.04543 183 117 54 12
325 Lettuce begin. 1.4262 0.04222 244 163 58 23
326 I know you hated yourself as a child, but have you tried drizzling a little olive oil and putting yourself in the oven? 1.4259 0.04518 216 145 50 21
327 How does it make you feel when children spit you into a napkin and hide it under the table? 1.4256 0.04759 195 131 45 19
328 What people like about you is all in your head. 1.4254 0.04345 228 152 55 21
329 In your case Janet, feeling like a vegetable is completely reasonable. 1.4254 0.04963 181 122 41 18
330 How long has this stalking been going on ? 1.4253 0.04625 221 152 44 25
331 Why do you think you get so steamed? 1.4250 0.04563 200 132 51 17
332 It doesn’t matter if they roast, boil or serve you raw. You are still worthy! 1.4244 0.04265 205 131 61 13
333 I'll quit grilling you if you stop stalking me. 1.4241 0.04490 224 152 49 23
334 You're not paranoid. No one likes you. 1.4241 0.04535 224 153 47 24
335 You're broccoli, even I don't like you. 1.4229 0.04654 201 135 47 19
336 Yesterday I fell and nobody heard me. 1.4229 0.04887 175 116 44 15
337 Have you tried branching out to new people? 1.4229 0.04750 175 114 48 13
338 You're too healthy to be a couch potato. 1.4227 0.04545 194 127 52 15
339 If you don't feel cruciferous, you don't have to identify as cruciferous. 1.4223 0.04724 206 141 43 22
340 I usually only see nuts. 1.4216 0.05174 185 130 32 23
341 ...so it is your belief that others will find you more attractive if you are smothered in melted cheese? 1.4216 0.04858 204 142 38 24
342 Well, Mr. Trump, you say it started when you changed your brand of hair colour? 1.4216 0.05005 204 145 32 27
343 It’s fine to be angry. Just don’t get steamed. 1.4213 0.04665 197 132 47 18
344 The kids will like you more when they’re older. 1.4208 0.04473 202 133 53 16
345 Many others also struggle with just being a side order. 1.4208 0.04361 202 131 57 14
346 If I were to tell you that I had a Brussel Sprout in here last week saying the same thing, would that make you feel better? 1.4208 0.04669 183 120 49 14
347 It appears you have Florets Syndrome. 1.4208 0.05040 183 126 37 20
348 Maybe you should branch out a little. 1.4206 0.04447 214 143 52 19
349 So, you say you fell, but no one could hear you? 1.4206 0.04593 214 146 46 22
350 I suggest you quit therapy while you’re a head. 1.4202 0.04704 188 125 47 16
351 So ... you fell in the forest but nobody heard. 1.4198 0.04624 212 145 45 22
352 Some of my best friends are deciduous. 1.4198 0.04526 212 143 49 20
353 We'll need to delve into the understory if we want to understand your sense of rootlessness. 1.4197 0.04439 193 125 55 13
354 I get it, your kids don’t like you. 1.4195 0.04533 205 137 50 18
355 Which nightmare was it this time—being chopped up or steamed? 1.4190 0.04455 210 140 52 18
356 You know, if someone says 'cauliflower lives matter,' it doesn't mean broccoli lives don't matter. 1.4190 0.04404 210 139 54 17
357 Remember the food pyramid is a social construct. 1.4190 0.04870 179 120 43 16
358 We need to look a little further into your family tree. 1.4188 0.04469 191 124 54 13
359 Don't you think it is time to admit the 4th grade play is over? 1.4186 0.05145 172 118 36 18
360 Sure, you’re good for them, but are they really good for you? 1.4185 0.04898 184 125 41 18
361 So, how are you feeling about being uprooted? 1.4184 0.04509 196 129 52 15
362 You are suffering with Shade-in-Freud 1.4184 0.04790 196 134 42 20
363 So you feel like a succulent soul born into a cruciferous body? 1.4178 0.04243 225 149 58 18
364 I don't think it's any easier being cauliflower or asparagus. 1.4176 0.04842 170 112 45 13
365 It's not your imagination. And I don't like you much either. 1.4174 0.04338 218 145 55 18
366 So let me see if I have this right...you're evergreen, but identify as deciduous? 1.4174 0.04692 230 164 36 30
367 Maybe you can work on being a better listener? Corn is all ears and they have lots of friends. 1.4163 0.04570 209 142 47 20
368 No, you're not paranoid ... but you need to accept that not everyone's going to like you. 1.4158 0.04482 190 124 53 13
369 Bush didn’t like you but I’m sure Biden does! 1.4157 0.04755 178 118 46 14
370 I think once they mature they'll realize how much they like you. 1.4155 0.04465 219 149 49 21
371 We don't use the term vegetable 1.4150 0.04874 200 140 37 23
372 I think you can back off on the vitamin supplements. 1.4149 0.04819 188 128 42 18
373 Can you describe your stalker? 1.4141 0.04177 198 126 62 10
374 It has been a pleasure to see you sprout over the last few weeks 1.4129 0.04311 201 131 57 13
375 With an attitude like that, you're going to end up in very hot water. 1.4129 0.04854 201 141 37 23
376 My greatest fear is being overcooked 1.4128 0.04112 235 156 61 18
377 You can't expect others to like you if you don't like yourself. 1.4127 0.04619 189 126 48 15
378 How long have you had this unbearable chirping in your head? 1.4126 0.04716 206 143 41 22
379 The frog was right. It's not easy being green. 1.4126 0.04217 223 148 58 17
380 Try turning that into a positive: ‘Woodpeckers love me’. 1.4126 0.04265 223 149 56 18
381 No, I was not there. But I am sure someone heard when you fell. 1.4124 0.05032 177 122 37 18
382 Whether you identify as a tree or as broccoli, there's still the issue of the legs. 1.4121 0.04732 199 137 42 20
383 ”So you say you made a sound when you fell. 1.4120 0.04410 216 146 51 19
384 So, at dinner, he wouldn’t even touch you? 1.4118 0.05047 170 116 38 16
385 So, let's work on how you can avoid getting steamed. 1.4118 0.04541 204 138 48 18
386 Tell me more about your family, tree. 1.4115 0.04567 192 128 49 15
387 Tell me about your roots. 1.4112 0.04656 197 134 45 18
388 No one said it is easy being green. 1.4109 0.04783 202 141 39 22
389 I prefer the term "Cruciferous American", it's more inclusive. 1.4107 0.05019 168 114 39 15
390 I don't know if you're a tree or a giant broccoli either. 1.4103 0.04296 234 160 52 22
391 You need to take "you're fresh" as a compliment. 1.4091 0.04648 176 116 48 12
392 You are the rare case that is actually hated by everyone. 1.4088 0.04947 181 125 38 18
393 I think you are ignoring the people who do like you. 1.4084 0.04204 191 122 60 9
394 So, how long have you felt, “pushed aside? 1.4078 0.04859 179 122 41 16
395 You're suffering from an inedible complex. 1.4076 0.04580 211 146 44 21
396 You aren’t being paranoid. Almost everyone hates you. 1.4072 0.04646 194 132 45 17
397 I hear you, it’s not easy being green. 1.4072 0.04703 194 133 43 18
398 I'll be honest: I might be the wrong kind of doctor for this. 1.4072 0.04964 167 113 40 14
399 I told you that I'd help you flower 1.4070 0.04563 199 135 47 17
400 I think you've gone too far with your plant- based diet 1.4070 0.04673 199 137 43 19
401 I believe your problem stem from your roots, so let's start there.. 1.4068 0.04487 177 115 52 10
402 So, you're feeling rootless. 1.4064 0.04362 219 149 51 19
403 Relax, sure. But don’t get into a vegetative state. 1.4062 0.04502 192 128 50 14
404 It’s not you. No one likes broccoli. 1.4061 0.04651 197 135 44 18
405 I figured you’d be steamed. 1.4059 0.04403 202 135 52 15
406 I know how hard it can be to put down roots. 1.4059 0.04232 202 132 58 12
407 When did the stalking problem begin? 1.4059 0.04403 202 135 52 15
408 What makes you think you're being stalked? 1.4056 0.04964 180 125 37 18
409 Well, they do say that heavy is the head that wears the crown. 1.4055 0.04341 217 147 52 18
410 Well, I like you. 1.4046 0.04769 173 116 44 13
411 Nobody ever wants me for my body. 1.4045 0.05067 178 125 34 19
412 Just because kale has become so popular doesn't make you any less important. 1.4044 0.04779 183 125 42 16
413 Let’s work on your irrational fear of dogs 1.4038 0.04471 208 142 48 18
414 I keep comparing myself to Kale 1.4035 0.05017 171 118 37 16
415 Do you have plans for lunch? 1.4034 0.04779 176 119 43 14
416 Just because you love carbon dioxide doesn't mean you're a bad tree. 1.4032 0.04784 186 128 41 17
417 You've got legs, feet, and eyes. I really don't think determining if you're a tree or a really large broccoli is what we need to be focusing on just now. 1.4032 0.04845 186 129 39 18
418 OK, why do YOU think everyone keeps trying to hook you up with a nice cheese sauce? 1.4031 0.04635 191 130 45 16
419 I can't help you, I've got too much on my plate. 1.4031 0.04923 191 135 35 21
420 So when did you realize it's not easy being green? 1.4031 0.04514 191 128 49 14
421 So you're telling me you could see the forest. 1.4030 0.04741 201 141 39 21
422 It’s your lack of roots that’s causing your sense of alienation. 1.4029 0.04395 206 139 51 16
423 Maybe people would like you more if they knew how to cook you properly. 1.4028 0.04322 211 142 53 16
424 People might start to like you if you added a little cheese sauce. 1.4028 0.04352 216 147 51 18
425 I think you should branch out more 1.4026 0.05090 154 104 38 12
426 Branching out might be a good idea 1.4024 0.04771 169 113 44 12
427 How long have you had this Oedible complex? 1.4021 0.05073 189 136 30 23
428 Let's explore what you mean by rediscovering your roots. 1.4018 0.04211 219 147 56 16
429 Can you tell me more about this dream where your mother is drowning in cheese sauce? 1.4012 0.04957 167 114 39 14
430 No, actually I hadn't heard of cauliflower privilege. Tell me more. 1.4011 0.04758 177 120 43 14
431 You’re so much more than just a name on the shopping list. 1.4010 0.04674 192 132 43 17
432 It's Beef AND broccoli. You're a team, stop thinking of yourself as less than. 1.4010 0.04556 192 130 47 15
433 It's good to see you branching out. 1.4010 0.04563 202 139 45 18
434 So you want them to like you. Then what? 1.4010 0.04431 207 141 49 17
435 Maybe if you covered yourself with cheese…… 1.4010 0.04536 207 143 45 19
436 You’re right, everyone does hate you. I recommend a dip. 1.4009 0.04038 212 138 63 11
437 In time, they'll grow to like you. 1.4000 0.04895 180 125 38 17
438 It might be healthier to arrange a Zoom meeting instead of completely uprooting yourself for a couple hours every week. 1.4000 0.05226 155 107 34 14
439 I am concerned that you seem to be languishing in a vegetative state. 1.4000 0.04726 175 118 44 13
440 So all the other trees have lost their leaves - you're special! 1.4000 0.04417 185 122 52 11
441 Actually the reverse is true. You're bitter because kids don't like you. 1.4000 0.04894 170 116 40 14
442 Everyone agrees you are “good for you”. It may be time for you to be good for yourself. 1.4000 0.04506 195 132 48 15
443 What if you branched out a little? 1.4000 0.04483 200 136 48 16
444 Your bitterness makes you who you are 1.3989 0.04682 188 129 43 16
445 So, you found yourself in hot water again. 1.3989 0.04496 188 126 49 13
446 Well doc ,it all started when kale came onto the scene" 1.3989 0.04836 183 127 39 17
447 It sounds like your childhood was roughage. 1.3989 0.04897 183 128 37 18
448 Don’t take it personally Mr, Peters, the truth is that all kids hate vegetables. 1.3989 0.04581 183 123 47 13
449 About how long have you been in this vegetative state? 1.3989 0.04803 178 122 41 15
450 It doesn’t matter that your kids don’t like broccoli. What matters is whether YOU like broccoli. 1.3989 0.04531 178 118 49 11
451 How long have you been considering transitioning to a carrot? 1.3980 0.04715 196 137 40 19
452 Have you tried promoting yourself with cheese sauce or lemon juice? 1.3971 0.04344 209 142 51 16
453 If she wants to slather you in cheese, I'd say just go with it. 1.3968 0.04478 189 127 49 13
454 Would you prefer I not take notes on paper? 1.3964 0.05051 169 118 35 16
455 Now we're back to when Bush 41 dissed you? Time to move on, Brocc, time to move on 1.3961 0.05246 154 107 33 14
456 Show me where the farmer touched you. 1.3960 0.05372 149 104 31 14
457 I see how you may feel uprooted 1.3959 0.04469 197 134 48 15
458 No wonder you feel uprooted. 1.3957 0.04509 187 126 48 13
459 Stop telling me! I'm not your therapist! This is a Waiting Room! 1.3957 0.04935 187 133 34 20
460 You’ve shown real growth over the last few years 1.3955 0.04884 177 123 38 16
461 Don't feel bad. Everybody hates broccoli. 1.3955 0.04140 220 148 57 15
462 We can’t all be organic 1.3953 0.04986 172 120 36 16
463 Have you thought about changing your name to bacon? 1.3951 0.04981 162 111 38 13
464 Its all broccollini this and broccollini that... 1.3951 0.04663 162 107 46 9
465 Heavy lies the crown, I know. 1.3949 0.04558 195 134 45 16
466 Let's find out together why you're so steamed all the time. 1.3944 0.04951 180 127 35 18
467 Are you sure that's what she meant by "stalking" ? 1.3942 0.04614 208 147 40 21
468 There are no jokes about me walking into a bar 1.3941 0.04886 170 117 39 14
469 Let's explore why you abandoned your roots. 1.3941 0.04318 203 137 52 14
470 Kermit was right. It's not easy being green. 1.3933 0.04862 178 124 38 16
471 I've seen many patients like you, though they're usually potatoes. 1.3931 0.04755 173 118 42 13
472 Try not to focus on taste - you are a great antioxidant! 1.3931 0.04825 173 119 40 14
473 Affirmation #1: "I don't need cheese sauce to be loved and valued." 1.3927 0.04740 191 134 39 18
474 You germinated as deciduous, but you identify as conifer? How does that make you feel? 1.3924 0.05066 158 109 36 13
475 Your dreams about being stalked are a reality… 1.3923 0.04176 209 140 56 13
476 It's not your imagination. Kids really don't like you. 1.3918 0.05138 171 122 31 18
477 Not everyone hates you. 1.3918 0.04452 194 132 48 14
478 Tell me again about this Hidden Valley Ranch. 1.3916 0.04740 166 112 43 11
479 Tell me again again about the mayonnaise dream 1.3913 0.04682 184 127 42 15
480 I know you’re good for me, but right now I’m just looking for some fun. 1.3913 0.04869 184 130 36 18
481 Well I do think it’s a bit much to say that all children hate you. 1.3913 0.04682 184 127 42 15
482 Have you ever thought your problem could stem from being rootless? 1.3913 0.04619 184 126 44 14
483 Exactly when did you lose connections with your roots? 1.3911 0.04442 202 139 47 16
484 Maybe your best mate isn't a vegetable at all. Have you considered a cheese? 1.3911 0.04774 179 124 40 15
485 other than dogs,what is your biggest concern?? 1.3911 0.04904 179 126 36 17
486 And how does that make you feel when people say you look more like broccoli than a tree? 1.3908 0.04802 174 120 40 14
487 Maybe you'd have more friends if you stop telling people how good you are for them? 1.3906 0.04946 192 139 31 22
488 No, it's not paranoia; most people really don't like you. 1.3905 0.05044 169 119 34 16
489 I’m being stalked 1.3905 0.04374 210 145 48 17
490 Let's talk about the first time you were stalked. 1.3900 0.04358 200 136 50 14
491 Well, I think the reason we'll never get to the root of your problems is obvious. 1.3900 0.04797 200 144 34 22
492 Rings are just a number, Mrs. Oak 1.3895 0.04769 172 118 41 13
493 Your affliction is akin to cauliflower ear. 1.3892 0.04794 167 114 41 12
494 My wife says I need to branch out ... 1.3889 0.04882 180 127 36 17
495 So, you want to part of the Green New Deal. 1.3889 0.05408 144 101 30 13
496 It's awkward now, but the dog is trainable. 1.3889 0.04736 162 109 43 10
497 Let’s accept that it’s ok if not everyone likes you. 1.3885 0.05452 139 97 30 12
498 I don’t know whether to treat you or eat you. 1.3882 0.05447 152 109 27 16
499 There must be some children that like you. 1.3881 0.04725 201 144 36 21
500 And were you throwing shade? 1.3878 0.05499 147 105 27 15
501 And how does it make you feel when no one hears you fall? 1.3876 0.04586 178 121 45 12
502 And all this began after binging on the PBS nature series? 1.3876 0.05047 178 128 31 19
503 My diagnosis is that your are suffering from dysmorphia, intrinsically linked to the au courant predilection for broccolini. 1.3875 0.04691 160 107 44 9
504 I’ve done wonders for kale and cauliflower… 1.3875 0.05015 160 111 36 13
505 Your not alone. Everyone but the pine trees feel unappreciated this time of year. 1.3874 0.04616 191 133 42 16
506 Have you tried roasting with Olive oil and parmesan? 1.3873 0.04887 173 121 37 15
507 I understand that bearded men with suspenders, flannel plaid shirts, and cargo pants are a trigger for you. 1.3873 0.04887 173 121 37 15
508 Can I get you some water? 1.3869 0.04619 168 113 45 10
509 If you were a person,what kind of person would you be? 1.3868 0.04493 212 150 42 20
510 I just can't figure out if I am a large broccoli or a small tree. 1.3867 0.05075 150 103 36 11
511 Look -- just because you're afraid of squirrels doesn't mean you're nuts. 1.3864 0.04477 176 118 48 10
512 Life is filled with dips. You have to learn how to move past them. 1.3862 0.04588 189 131 43 15
513 You must accept that you were born deciduous. It's not a lifestyle. 1.3862 0.04400 189 128 49 12
514 I realize it ain't easy being green. 1.3862 0.04464 189 129 47 13
515 I can't help but feel that your problem would be solved with some lemon and a little seasoning. 1.3855 0.04897 179 127 35 17
516 No, really. You are good with salt, you are good with butter, you are Really good with vinaigrette, you are good with so many things! 1.3851 0.04654 174 119 43 12
517 Tell me more about your feeling that all children hate you. 1.3846 0.04673 169 115 43 11
518 Perhaps if you branched out a little 1.3846 0.04852 156 106 40 10
519 Well I wouldn't call it carrot envy exactly. 1.3846 0.05182 156 110 32 14
520 Pardon my lack of professionalism, but I can't stand you. 1.3842 0.04528 177 120 46 11
521 There’s been a lot of growth. 1.3838 0.04655 185 129 41 15
522 Then my parents told me the Green Giant isn’t real. 1.3836 0.04952 159 110 37 12
523 Good news! I think you're out of the woods. 1.3830 0.05099 141 96 36 9
524 Before we get started I have to ask. Did anyone hear you falling? 1.3826 0.05268 149 105 31 13
525 Okay. Shall we go out on a limb with this branch of your therapy? 1.3826 0.05003 149 102 37 10
526 It’s your bitterness that’s turning people off… 1.3824 0.04576 170 115 45 10
527 I told you, if you fall and no one hears you, it's not personal. 1.3822 0.05154 157 111 32 14
528 No one was there to hear me fall. No one. 1.3819 0.05025 144 98 37 9
529 so you're worried his parents won't accept you because you're not a cauliflower? 1.3815 0.04809 173 121 38 14
530 No, I don’t think it’s a good idea for you to go on “Chopped.” 1.3815 0.04667 173 119 42 12
531 So, where did you get the feet? 1.3813 0.05246 139 96 33 10
532 It all started with President Bush. 1.3813 0.05384 160 117 25 18
533 You say that you were referred by Mr. Potato Head ? 1.3813 0.05160 160 114 31 15
534 As I understand it, you have a profound feeling of being totally uprooted. 1.3813 0.04926 160 111 37 12
535 I feel like nobody likes me. 1.3801 0.04917 171 121 35 15
536 You have really grown since our last session. 1.3799 0.04557 179 123 44 12
537 I'm happy to see that you branched out since our last session. 1.3797 0.04423 187 128 47 12
538 So tell me, what sound do you make when you fall in the forest and there's nobody around to hear it? 1.3796 0.05090 137 93 36 8
539 Who is this Al Dente you keep mentioning? 1.3796 0.05296 137 95 32 10
540 When did you first start to feel that the chicken nuggets were the main star of the dish? 1.3795 0.04485 166 111 47 8
541 Now, tell me again about your fear of birds. 1.3793 0.04646 174 120 42 12
542 How long have you been disconnected from your roots? 1.3791 0.05164 153 108 32 13
543 Clearly you're feeling unloved. We can address this with therapy or cheese sauce. 1.3789 0.04902 161 112 37 12
544 Let's talk about your fear of meatless Mondays. 1.3789 0.04980 161 113 35 13
545 You shouldn't feel bad....people in California really love you! 1.3785 0.04728 177 124 39 14
546 When she told you you give her gas, how did it make you feel? 1.3785 0.04660 177 123 41 13
547 So, you’re saying you feel inferior to kale? 1.3782 0.04927 156 108 37 11
548 No one likes me either. 1.3778 0.04737 180 127 38 15
549 Tell me why you think everyone hates you. 1.3778 0.05243 135 93 33 9
550 C'mon now, not "everybody" hates you! 1.3776 0.04943 143 97 38 8
551 I keep feeling that I am being stalked. 1.3775 0.05210 151 107 31 13
552 Sorry, most people hate broccoli. 1.3774 0.05101 159 113 32 14
553 I'd say your insecurities are a product of your imagination, but I don't like you either. 1.3774 0.04942 159 111 36 12
554 Why do you think no one likes you? 1.3772 0.04776 167 116 39 12
555 Sorry about the uncomfortable couch. Most of my patients are deciduous. 1.3772 0.04997 167 119 33 15
556 Always being told that “mighty oaks from little acorns grow” put too much expectations on you. 1.3770 0.04808 183 131 35 17
557 Maybe you're using the cheese to cover something up? 1.3758 0.04644 157 106 43 8
558 How long have you had this obsession with ‘Roots?’ 1.3758 0.04556 157 105 45 7
559 It's not just about you and Randy, you know. ALL kids hate broccoli and they hate ALL broccoli. 1.3758 0.04890 165 116 36 13
560 And why do you think that children dislike you? 1.3757 0.04516 181 125 44 12
561 What you’re experiencing is a textbook case of Side-Dish Association. 1.3750 0.05114 168 122 29 17
562 How long have you felt like someone was stalking you ? 1.3750 0.04522 168 114 45 9
563 The doctor said there was a chance I could end up a vegetable but I didn’t think this is what he meant. 1.3750 0.05013 144 99 36 9
564 Tell me more about why you're so steamed. 1.3743 0.04469 171 116 46 9
565 I’ll have to charge extra since you’re organic. 1.3742 0.05026 155 109 34 12
566 Well, feelings of existential abandonment can stem from being cut off from one's roots. 1.3742 0.04769 155 106 40 9
567 I don't wanna be nutritious--I wanna be popular! 1.3741 0.04750 147 99 41 7
568 Remember it wasn't your choice to be deciduous. 1.3740 0.04887 131 87 39 5
569 You must've been really steamed about that. 1.3736 0.04708 174 122 39 13
570 Never question your own worth, especially at today’s lumber prices. 1.3736 0.04778 174 123 37 14
571 No one will like you until you like yourself first. 1.3736 0.04708 174 122 39 13
572 And what makes you think you are a broccoli? 1.3735 0.04790 166 116 38 12
573 " So,you feel this 'Rabe' fellow is getting all the attention? " 1.3734 0.04621 158 107 43 8
574 I know you're exhausted but that's not an excuse for lying there like a vegetable. 1.3733 0.05142 150 106 32 12
575 So, you grew up in Brooklyn? 1.3733 0.05397 150 109 26 15
576 Don't be silly! Of course I wasn't thinking about yummy cheese sauce. 1.3732 0.04958 142 97 37 8
577 Even if no one is around, I hear you. 1.3730 0.04639 185 131 39 15
578 So she called you short and stalky? 1.3729 0.04720 177 125 38 14
579 It’s time for you to branch out. 1.3725 0.04626 153 103 43 7
580 Tell me about the first time that you went into a vegetative state. 1.3725 0.04984 153 107 35 11
581 So you're a vegetable. Accept it and move on. 1.3724 0.05265 145 103 30 12
582 The problem is you need to put down roots somewhere. 1.3720 0.04750 164 114 39 11
583 Let’s start with your family tree to discuss your medical issues. 1.3718 0.05081 156 111 32 13
584 What do you mean by 'nobody likes you'? 1.3718 0.04916 156 109 36 11
585 I want to see other poems. 1.3718 0.05162 156 112 30 14
586 Clearly, you're still raw. 1.3716 0.04724 148 100 41 7
587 Look, we all have to deal with our expiry date, it's a fact of life." 1.3716 0.04673 183 130 38 15
588 Does Cauliflower know you don't want kids? 1.3712 0.05421 132 93 29 10
589 You have treechinosis. 1.3712 0.05526 132 94 27 11
590 You are not a stalker! 1.3712 0.05313 132 92 31 9
591 You need to go back to your roots. 1.3706 0.04780 170 120 37 13
592 Not all of our Presidents hated you... 1.3706 0.04780 170 120 37 13
593 Just relax. Take a hot steam bath, maybe olive oil with a lemon drizzle, and a pinch of salt. 1.3704 0.05335 135 95 30 10
594 Your kid will like you one day. 1.3699 0.05325 146 105 28 13
595 Today we are going to explore your fear of Broccoli Cheese Soup 1.3693 0.04377 176 120 47 9
596 It's not you're imagination,most people do hate you. 1.3691 0.05417 149 109 25 15
597 Yes, children can be mean sometimes. 1.3691 0.05332 149 108 27 14
598 So you’re having dreams of being frozen and revived only to be eaten alive? 1.3690 0.04963 168 121 32 15
599 Yes, but can you handle the stress of becoming a Branch Manager 1.3687 0.05141 160 116 29 15
600 And you start to get this feeling of loss each autumn? 1.3687 0.04907 160 113 35 12
601 When did you first notice you were feeling uprooted? 1.3687 0.04743 179 128 36 15
602 Which branch of the family concerns you? 1.3687 0.04540 179 125 42 12
603 For you, "throwing shade" is a good thing... 1.3684 0.05594 133 96 25 12
604 I meant to say chief of psychology - not chef 1.3684 0.04358 190 132 46 12
605 Yes,it's true nobody likes you, without butter. 1.3684 0.04459 171 117 45 9
606 So, you grew in Brooklyn. 1.3684 0.05594 133 96 25 12
607 What's your preferred pronoun? 1.3684 0.04912 152 106 36 10
608 Your husband is a lumberjack? What were you thinking!” 1.3681 0.05146 163 119 28 16
609 Give it to me straight doc.Don't butter me up. 1.3681 0.04920 163 116 34 13
610 This isn't what I had in mind when I told you to start branching out more. 1.3681 0.04842 163 115 36 12
611 She does love you but she can’t always see the tree for the forest. 1.3678 0.04769 174 124 36 14
612 We accept HMOs... not GMOs. 1.3677 0.04931 155 109 35 11
613 You're only fantasizing that you've caught Dutch elm disease. You're a hemlock. 1.3676 0.05793 136 101 20 15
614 So you have this problem since the first Bush presidency? 1.3676 0.05504 136 98 26 12
615 I’m sure you made a noise when you fell! 1.3675 0.04780 166 117 37 12
616 But are you a happy antioxidant? 1.3673 0.05116 147 104 32 11
617 I just feel so raw whenever I come here. 1.3673 0.05206 147 105 30 12
618 You say you're afraid you might snap? 1.3671 0.04947 158 112 34 12
619 When did the dreams about chewing and spitting children into your napkin start? 1.3669 0.05698 139 103 21 15
620 Being healthy does not guarantee your relationships will be too. 1.3669 0.04645 169 118 40 11
621 You have a cruciferous complex. 1.3667 0.05217 150 108 29 13
622 We need to confront that fact you're a huge stalker 1.3665 0.04801 161 113 37 11
623 So this George Bush Sr guy is still giving you nightmares... 1.3662 0.05045 142 99 34 9
624 It's not a chemical imbalance. Your nitrogen, phosphorous, and potassium levels are fine. 1.3661 0.04467 183 128 43 12
625 I support your decision to branch out. 1.3660 0.05143 153 110 30 13
626 Perhaps more people would like you if you tried presenting yourself oven-roasted with bacon and slivered almonds. 1.3659 0.04971 164 118 32 14
627 You really want me to call you "Bro"? 1.3659 0.06029 123 91 19 13
628 It's not personal - they all fly away in the Fall. 1.3657 0.05559 134 97 25 12
629 I know you're good for people - but are people good for you? 1.3656 0.04547 186 132 40 14
630 Now, Mr. Broccoli, what makes you think that nobody likes you? 1.3656 0.04610 186 133 38 15
631 You’re a tree that can walk, talk and see but your biggest problem is that you don’t think birds respect you? 1.3655 0.04776 145 99 39 7
632 I don't think your fear of melted cheese is unreasonable at all. 1.3653 0.04906 167 120 33 14
633 Have you considered that you're no longer in your salad days? 1.3652 0.04551 178 125 41 12
634 Your problem is you can’t see the forest because you’re a tree. 1.3649 0.05176 148 106 30 12
635 With you it’s all stalk, no action. 1.3649 0.04996 148 104 34 10
636 So even the sound of a chain saw gives you panic attacks? 1.3647 0.04622 170 119 40 11
637 I understand your confusion with self-identification. However, if this cartoon were in color it would be abundantly clear if you are in fact a tree or broccoli. 1.3647 0.05123 170 126 26 18
638 Tell me more about these dreams of men in red flannel shirts coming to get you. 1.3643 0.04884 140 96 37 7
639 No one was around but I sincerely made a sound when I fell in the woods. 1.3642 0.05102 151 108 31 12
640 Let's work on getting you out of your own head 1.3642 0.04856 162 115 35 12
641 I'm gonna go out on a limb here and guess that you're feeling uprooted. 1.3636 0.04584 176 124 40 12
642 You know, there is a cruciferous support group. 1.3636 0.05188 132 92 32 8
643 What makes you feel you are being stalked? 1.3636 0.04794 165 117 36 12
644 You say George Washington did this to you? 1.3636 0.05197 154 112 28 14
645 It's perfectly normal. I don't like you, either. 1.3636 0.05512 132 95 26 11
646 Well, I’m stumped. 1.3630 0.04945 146 102 35 9
647 Let’s talk about your family roots 1.3626 0.04127 171 114 52 5
648 You clearly have deep rooted issues. 1.3626 0.04525 171 119 42 10
649 How, exactly, would a hugger ask permission? 1.3625 0.04563 160 110 42 8
650 I regret to inform you that you are in a vegetative state 1.3623 0.05137 138 97 32 9
651 You look a little blanched today, gotten into hot water again? 1.3621 0.04689 174 124 37 13
652 It's also valid for you not to grow in Brooklyn. 1.3615 0.05461 130 93 27 10
653 Ok out of respect I’ve already agreed to not write anything down on paper.” 1.3614 0.04770 166 118 36 12
654 And what do you think about whether you make a sound? 1.3614 0.04994 166 121 30 15
655 It must be hard watching the other S.T.E.M. get all the attention now. 1.3613 0.05406 155 116 22 17
656 In order to dig deeper, we're going to have to explore your roots. 1.3608 0.04685 158 110 39 9
657 You appear a bit rootless. 1.3605 0.04866 172 125 32 15
658 So, you're really saying you are in over your head? 1.3600 0.05205 150 109 28 13
659 To be honest, I just don't like you. 1.3598 0.04884 164 118 33 13
660 Given the shape you’re in I’m referring you to an Arborist. 1.3597 0.05106 139 98 32 9
661 What is clear is that you've lost all connection with your roots. 1.3595 0.04693 153 106 39 8
662 He was wrong about Quayle too. 1.3592 0.05031 142 100 33 9
663 So you're saying, people just buy you to throw you away? 1.3588 0.05091 131 91 33 7
664 Your problem is that you keep people from seeing the forest. 1.3587 0.04505 184 131 40 13
665 Before we start--how do you spell 'broccoli'?" 1.3582 0.05545 134 98 24 12
666 You're still better off than kale. 1.3581 0.04795 148 103 37 8
667 So your mother would spray your hair with Parmesan? 1.3579 0.06509 95 69 18 8
668 How long has stalking been a problem for you? 1.3577 0.05153 137 97 31 9
669 I know rejection hurts. But have you considered that she’s only three? 1.3577 0.05357 137 99 27 11
670 When did you first realize you were no longer a nut? 1.3576 0.05426 151 113 22 16
671 I’m not sure therapy will be useful for you. Have considered topiary instead? 1.3571 0.05176 140 100 30 10
672 It sounds like you get too easily steamed. 1.3571 0.05275 140 101 28 11
673 So you were left off the holiday menu again. 1.3571 0.04934 154 110 33 11
674 Let me get this straight: You have an irrational fear that you will be diagnosed as being in a permanent vegetative state. 1.3568 0.04739 185 136 32 17
675 Well, you are what you eat! 1.3566 0.04801 143 99 37 7
676 You tend to hide behind your rapini-sharp wit, don't you/ 1.3562 0.04464 160 110 43 7
677 Why are you bitter today? 1.3562 0.04835 146 102 36 8
678 And in this nightmare, are there other vegetables on the cutting board too? 1.3562 0.05026 146 104 32 10
679 When you say "bitter", do you mean emotionally or physically? 1.3558 0.04661 163 115 38 10
680 I just always feel like I'm being stalked 1.3557 0.05135 149 108 29 12
681 Forget about George H.W. Bush already -- I bet Biden likes you just fine. 1.3556 0.05201 135 96 30 9
682 I know. Nobody gets hugged anymore. 1.3556 0.05306 135 97 28 10
683 We all feel rootless sometimes 1.3556 0.04872 135 93 36 6
684 There are, however, some advantages to being uneaten at a holiday meal. 1.3553 0.04797 152 107 36 9
685 Let's examine your roots. You said your mother wasn't a very giving tree? 1.3553 0.04612 152 105 40 7
686 Get past the percieved bitterness of cruciferous vegetables and embrace your role as a superfood. 1.3551 0.05224 138 99 29 10
687 So you say you husband was killed in a cuisinart? 1.3546 0.05433 141 104 24 13
688 No, I'm afraid I don't know how it feels to be attacked by woodpeckers. 1.3538 0.05106 130 91 32 7
689 These days we all feel rootless. 1.3538 0.05222 130 92 30 8
690 You’re a walking paradox. You have much going for you, in spite of not being rooted in anything at all. 1.3529 0.05274 136 98 28 10
691 You want people to like you, but you are afraid of what comes next. 1.3529 0.05034 153 111 30 12
692 So you say kale's getting all the attention, how does that make you feel? 1.3529 0.04965 170 126 28 16
693 Cornrows aren't for everyone 1.3529 0.05282 119 83 30 6
694 I see we've lost some ground since your last visit. 1.3529 0.05376 136 99 26 11
695 The good news is green is the new black. 1.3529 0.05034 153 111 30 12
696 To be honest, I've always hated you too. 1.3521 0.04916 142 100 34 8
697 What is it about the word cruciferous that you find so offensive? 1.3521 0.05307 142 104 26 12
698 No, no I suppose you're right. I guess Christmas trees do get all the attention this time of year. 1.3521 0.04814 142 99 36 7
699 You can't blame everything on cauliflower. 1.3520 0.05478 125 90 26 9
700 Your problems don’t seem to be very deep-rooted. 1.3514 0.04684 148 103 38 7
701 Why do you think people don’t like you? 1.3511 0.05301 131 94 28 9
702 Its your leaves...you have to be willing to let go 1.3510 0.05078 151 110 29 12
703 I understand how cruciferous could be confusing. 1.3510 0.04622 151 105 39 7
704 How often do you feel you are stalked? 1.3510 0.05164 151 111 27 13
705 Let me understand, you think your crown is lying too heavy on your head? 1.3507 0.05217 134 96 29 9
706 Building a nest in your branches without consent IS emotionally abusive. 1.3506 0.04921 154 111 32 11
707 I see it as the kids not want to eat you as a good thing. 1.3504 0.04814 137 95 36 6
708 Sometimes, a vegetable is just a vegetable. 1.3504 0.04814 137 95 36 6
709 And it's the same nightmare, about men with chainsaws? 1.3504 0.05138 137 98 30 9
710 I feel like the vegans are out to get me. 1.3504 0.05032 137 97 32 8
711 This is a lot to digest in one sitting. 1.3504 0.05823 137 105 16 16
712 . . . and how long have you had this rootless feeling? 1.3503 0.04855 157 113 33 11
713 It must be very hard that everyone says they want more vegetables in their life but no one calls 1.3497 0.04483 163 114 41 8
714 No, I didn't hear you fall, but I hear you now. 1.3497 0.04483 163 114 41 8
715 What I'm hearing is that you're really steamed. 1.3497 0.04888 143 101 34 8
716 I think I can see the root cause of your problems. 1.3497 0.04888 143 101 34 8
717 Everyone deserves to feel heard,even if they fall in a forest when no one's around. 1.3496 0.05654 123 90 23 10
718 It's okay if you identify as cauliflower, I don't see color. 1.3494 0.04429 166 116 42 8
719 So, tell me more about this nightmare in which you are chopped up and thrown into hot vegetable oil. 1.3493 0.04721 146 102 37 7
720 For one, I think you'd be happier living outdoors. 1.3493 0.04917 146 104 33 9
721 Maybe you should lay off the sauce! 1.3493 0.04721 146 102 37 7
722 Doctor, I feel like no one likes me. 1.3492 0.05203 126 89 30 7
723 Well if George H.W. Bush said that he hated me then that might make me feel a little insecure too. 1.3492 0.05781 126 94 20 12
724 Do you identify as a small tree or a giant broccoli spear? 1.3490 0.04755 149 105 36 8
725 How long have you felt like broccolini trapped in a broccoli body? 1.3490 0.04942 149 107 32 10
726 Nobody likes me unless I'm steamed and drowning in cheese. 1.3490 0.04849 149 106 34 9
727 You’d like to date a cauliflower? 1.3490 0.04942 149 107 32 10
728 ...so basically you're telling me that you don't feel grounded. 1.3488 0.04631 172 124 36 12
729 Well, I think you might be a floret AND a stalk. 1.3487 0.04962 152 110 31 11
730 I think of you as a friend with health benefits. 1.3485 0.05267 132 95 28 9
731 I've been advised you need stalk therapy. 1.3481 0.05185 135 97 29 9
732 It's important we find what's at the root of your problems 1.3481 0.05291 135 98 27 10
733 You're not out of the woods yet. 1.3481 0.05077 135 96 31 8
734 I think your seasonal affective disorder should clear up in the fall. 1.3481 0.04572 158 111 39 8
735 You don’t need the melted cheese-people like you just the way you are. 1.3481 0.04572 158 111 39 8
736 I think you need to go back to your roots. 1.3478 0.05929 115 85 20 10
737 You say kids don't like you. 1.3476 0.04938 164 121 29 14
738 It can be hard to grow in the shadow of your parents 1.3475 0.04826 141 99 35 7
739 No, there isn’t a word for “fear of vegans”. 1.3473 0.04724 167 121 34 12
740 Maybe it's time to put down some roots. 1.3472 0.04759 144 101 36 7
741 Well,to be brutally honest, you’re just not very likable. 1.3468 0.05377 124 89 27 8
742 Yes, falling and no one hears you is worrisome, but we can work on this together. 1.3468 0.05615 124 91 23 10
743 Therapy could help you find your roots. 1.3468 0.05731 124 92 21 11
744 Try to understand. Not everyone can be poplar. 1.3465 0.05289 127 91 28 8
745 You want respect and love. The only way we get there is with cheese therapy. 1.3465 0.05047 127 89 32 6
746 So your rejection anxiety began with George H W Bush? 1.3462 0.04970 130 91 33 6
747 I am certain it's seasonal affective disorder. We should meet again in the spring. 1.3459 0.05234 133 96 28 9
748 I don’t think George Bush much cares for either of us. 1.3457 0.04901 162 119 30 13
749 Your problems seem deep-rooted. 1.3456 0.05046 136 97 31 8
750 How long have you identified as cruciferous? 1.3456 0.05153 136 98 29 9
751 Let's start with your roots. 1.3456 0.04826 136 95 35 6
752 And you say nobody heard you fall? We’re there any people around? 1.3455 0.05393 110 77 28 5
753 How long have you identified as cauliflower? 1.3455 0.04913 165 122 29 14
754 There is nothing wrong with being a poison oak who identifies as broccoli, but you have to accept that nobody is going to like you either way. 1.3453 0.04758 139 97 36 6
755 I'm sorry, but our kitchen timer is up. 1.3453 0.05471 139 104 22 13
756 Wherever you fall, you’re allowed to make a sound. 1.3453 0.04972 139 99 32 8
757 So tell me, today do you feel more like broccoli or tree? 1.3446 0.04669 148 104 37 7
758 I’ve just been so steamed lately. 1.3444 0.04887 151 109 32 10
759 So you say you feel uprooted ... 1.3442 0.04908 154 112 31 11
760 And how often do you have this "veggie burger" dream? 1.3440 0.05218 125 89 29 7
761 Unfortunately, Medicare doesn't cover termites. 1.3440 0.04965 125 87 33 5
762 I appreciate the desire to branch out. The problem is, you've abandoned your roots, which is actually stunting your growth." 1.3440 0.05691 125 93 21 11
763 Have you tried dipping yourself in cheese? 1.3438 0.05136 128 91 30 7
764 It's the holidays, not the hollandaise. 1.3438 0.05483 128 94 24 10
765 I love you, Helen, especially with ranch dip. 1.3438 0.05370 128 93 26 9
766 You’re feeling depressed BECAUSE nobody wants to eat you? 1.3438 0.05370 128 93 26 9
767 My sense is that when you were an acorn, you didn't fall far enough from the tree. 1.3438 0.05483 128 94 24 10
768 Face it,your parents were nuts! 1.3433 0.05515 134 100 22 12
769 I think that bitterness is going to stay with you. We'll have to find a way to work with it. 1.3433 0.05201 134 97 28 9
770 Look, you’re going to have empty nests every year. Deal with it. 1.3433 0.05092 134 96 30 8
771 When did you first start feeling you'd been uprooted from your family?' 1.3433 0.05515 134 100 22 12
772 Then we're agreed: if it's a girl, 'Florette,' if it's a boy, 'Stalker.' 1.3429 0.05147 140 102 28 10
773 Kermit, too, had a hard time being green 1.3427 0.04770 143 101 35 7
774 It's not just your feelings that are still raw. 1.3427 0.04973 143 103 31 9
775 I really think we’re getting to the root of your problem. 1.3426 0.05607 108 77 25 6
776 You were BORN deciduous; it's not your fault - change is good! 1.3425 0.05450 146 111 20 15
777 I’m sure it was traumatic. But before we begin, I have to know - was there a sound? 1.3423 0.05794 111 81 22 8
778 Are you still feeling raw? 1.3423 0.04835 149 107 33 9
779 I removed the pillow to help with your lumber support. 1.3423 0.05196 149 111 25 13
780 It doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks; you know you made a sound. 1.3421 0.05206 152 114 24 14
781 How long have you felt you're being stalked? 1.3419 0.04966 155 114 29 12
782 I like Ranch, too. 1.3419 0.04707 155 111 35 9
783 Have you ever considered branching out? 1.3418 0.04646 158 113 36 9
784 I might be going out on a limb, or barking up the wrong tree, but I feel you have some deep-rooted issues. 1.3416 0.04671 161 116 35 10
785 Why do you think people hate you? 1.3415 0.05269 123 88 28 7
786 Are you a stalker? 1.3413 0.05305 126 91 27 8
787 So what? I also fell, and it was a busy street and not in a forest. And still, nobody noticed. 1.3411 0.05103 129 92 30 7
788 I see people dressing me with their eyes". 1.3411 0.05220 129 93 28 8
789 Yes, I’m a doctor , but not a tree surgeon. 1.3409 0.05466 132 98 23 11
790 Great job branching out! 1.3409 0.04908 132 93 33 6
791 To be honest, it will be more than one session before you’re out of the woods. 1.3406 0.05393 138 103 23 12
792 The new opportunity sounds good for you, but how does your family feel about being uprooted? 1.3406 0.04769 138 97 35 6
793 When I snap my fingers, you will arise from this vegetative state 1.3404 0.05016 141 102 30 9
794 I think it's all in your head. 1.3403 0.05136 144 106 27 11
795 Wait. Do you suppose they are saying cruciferous not crucify. 1.3401 0.05062 147 108 28 11
796 The weight will be off your mind in the fall. 1.3401 0.05153 147 109 26 12
797 Being an acorn when you are young does not make you nuts. 1.3397 0.05104 156 117 25 14
798 I was roasted and pushed to the side again 1.3396 0.04622 159 114 36 9
799 I know, and I agree, it IS annoying that so many people love Kale now. 1.3396 0.04707 159 115 34 10
800 I never used to like you, either. 1.3391 0.05778 115 85 21 9
801 Being called "Cruciferous" is not a bad thing. 1.3387 0.05357 124 90 26 8
802 It's perfectly natural to think everyone is trying to cut you down. 1.3386 0.05027 127 90 31 6
803 When did your condition branch out to your head? 1.3385 0.05627 130 98 20 12
804 It feels like if I fell no one would even notice. 1.3383 0.05106 133 96 29 8
805 Now let's discuss your shady past 1.3383 0.05217 133 97 27 9
806 Have you considered planting roots and staying in one place? 1.3383 0.04760 133 93 35 5
807 Really, I never did it with a vegetable before 1.3382 0.05029 136 98 30 8
808 It's natural to feel anxious when you uproot." 1.3382 0.05242 136 100 26 10
809 I think we’re making some real progress here. I can see you’re branching out. 1.3381 0.05262 139 103 25 11
810 No! You do NOT live in Brooklyn! 1.3381 0.05162 139 102 27 10
811 I can’t imagine how tough it is when other kids hate you, but their parents love you. 1.3381 0.04956 139 100 31 8
812 Honestly, I'm better with Fruits and Nuts than I am with Vegetables. 1.3381 0.04956 139 100 31 8
813 Tell me when you began to fear you were being stalked. 1.3381 0.05060 139 101 29 9
814 But do you still want to identify as cruciferous? 1.3380 0.05182 142 105 26 11
815 It may be of some comfort for you to know that both kale and spinach suffer from what is known as “broccoli envy.” 1.3380 0.04676 142 100 36 6
816 How does it make you feel when others in the Bunch refer to you as a Laughing Stalk? 1.3363 0.05707 113 83 22 8
817 You should take it with a grain of salt. 1.3362 0.05468 116 84 25 7
818 I'm sure Kale didn't mean to replace you. 1.3361 0.05102 119 84 30 5
819 Remember, you’re still behind the dentist and cold weather . 1.3361 0.05155 122 87 29 6
820 Sounds like you think everyone is only out for your head. 1.3360 0.05321 125 91 26 8
821 You said you feel disliked by children - tell me more about that. 1.3360 0.05673 125 94 20 11
822 You look pretty healthy to me. 1.3359 0.06002 128 100 13 15
823 Just be calm. You get steamed so easily, 1.3359 0.05235 128 93 27 8
824 Not everyone's going to like you. 1.3359 0.05038 131 94 30 7
825 Good point, I've never had a president say that about me. 1.3358 0.05074 134 97 29 8
826 And in this dream,how many forks were there? 1.3358 0.05074 134 97 29 8
827 I really think it's all in your head." 1.3358 0.04999 137 99 30 8
828 Do you ever feel green? 1.3358 0.05105 137 100 28 9
829 Do you sometimes wish that broccolini had never been born? 1.3357 0.04821 140 100 33 7
830 I recommend taking a nice Ranch dip to decompress. People will start liking you more that way. 1.3356 0.04887 146 106 31 9
831 You're in a safe space. I promise that no one wants to eat you here. 1.3356 0.04689 146 104 35 7
832 You’re here to see the brocktologist? 1.3355 0.04755 152 110 33 9
833 So you say your friends are stalking you? 1.3354 0.04401 161 114 40 7
834 I think what I hear you saying is that you have trouble putting down roots… 1.3354 0.04837 164 122 29 13
835 When did you first notice you were bitter? 1.3333 0.05449 132 99 22 11
836 Trust me, if you can just stay in the crisper until January 1st, you’re going to make a huge comeback. 1.3333 0.05316 129 95 25 9
837 I know it's hard, but it's December. You have to learn to let go, already. 1.3333 0.04852 123 86 33 4
838 Roughage can be a term of endearment. 1.3333 0.04988 123 87 31 5
839 Maybe you just need to get back to your roots. 1.3333 0.04602 150 107 36 7
840 Just because you’re good for everyone doesn’t mean they’re good for you. 1.3333 0.05383 114 82 26 6
841 Sometimes I too feel like Broc Obama. 1.3333 0.06062 114 87 16 11
842 I can tell something’s been eating you. 1.3333 0.04963 129 92 31 6
843 Heavy lies the crown. 1.3333 0.04792 150 109 32 9
844 Yes, I know they cut you down, but they left your feet. 1.3333 0.05043 135 98 29 8
845 I think you need to put down some roots. 1.3333 0.05006 132 95 30 7
846 So who's your barber? 1.3333 0.04751 138 98 34 6
847 Have you tried branching out? 1.3333 0.04897 141 102 31 8
848 Seems to me you've become alienated from your roots. 1.3333 0.04646 132 92 36 4
849 It's been 30 years. You have to let the George Bush thing go. 1.3333 0.05627 111 81 23 7
850 Listen, being pissed on over and over doesn’t make you a bad person. 1.3333 0.05593 120 89 22 9
851 Now this is not to be repeated but people really do like you, it's your cousin Brussels sprouts they hate. 1.3333 0.04447 153 108 39 6
852 Yes, kids hate you. Isn’t enough that mothers everywhere love you? 1.3333 0.05005 117 82 31 4
853 How long have you been vegan? 1.3333 0.05496 123 91 23 9
854 I was wondering. How do you feel about branching out? 1.3333 0.04729 153 111 33 9
855 It could just be gas. 1.3333 0.05120 132 96 28 8
856 You seem a little steamed. 1.3333 0.05232 132 97 26 9
857 To tree or not to tree 1.3333 0.05248 123 89 27 7
858 So you are saying that both your parents were nuts? 1.3333 0.05554 132 100 20 12
859 Don’t think of yourself as a “little tree.” Think of yourself as a big vegetable. 1.3333 0.04928 144 105 30 9
860 Just because you're a stalk doesn't mean you're a stalker. Always remember that. 1.3333 0.04885 150 110 30 10
861 These twittering sounds, have you being hearing them long? 1.3333 0.05257 135 100 25 10
862 Don't worry, in the fall you'll have less on your mind. 1.3333 0.05616 123 92 21 10
863 Well, yes, you must be steamed! 1.3333 0.05074 138 101 28 9
864 Uprooting is never easy. Give yourself some more time to adjust. 1.3312 0.04792 154 113 31 10
865 Unfair as it seems, you'll just have to accept that some people will be frightened by you appearance. 1.3312 0.05134 154 117 23 14
866 So deep down you’re a sweet potato? 1.3312 0.04519 154 110 37 7
867 What I’m hearing you say is that it’s all in your head.” 1.3311 0.04858 151 111 30 10
868 You might feel less restricted if you branched out a little more. 1.3311 0.04637 148 106 35 7
869 My previous practice was with children, but I decided to branch out. 1.3310 0.04800 145 105 32 8
870 Wait a minute, don't let all that superior nutritional rating go right to your head! 1.3310 0.04800 145 105 32 8
871 It is natural for you to feel a sense of loss in the Fall 1.3310 0.04550 142 100 37 5
872 Sure the Green Giant is bigger and stronger, but you've got a better head on your shoulders - so I'd focus on that! 1.3310 0.04764 142 102 33 7
873 It might be a good time to 'branch out.' 1.3309 0.05245 139 104 24 11
874 Heavy hangs the head that wears the crown?" Talk about that 1.3309 0.05245 139 104 24 11
875 Tell me, did it make a sound when you fell? 1.3309 0.05145 139 103 26 10
876 I understand your concern about having to be on pizza. Pineapple has the same complaints. 1.3308 0.05307 133 99 24 10
877 Is the loss of leaves a recurring problem ? 1.3308 0.05413 133 100 22 11
878 Well, that's it. I'm stumped! 1.3308 0.05503 130 98 21 11
879 I may be going out on a limb here,... 1.3307 0.05250 127 93 26 8
880 I think you're having a hard time seeing the trees for the florets. 1.3307 0.05130 127 92 28 7
881 Maybe you’d find the acceptance you crave if you tried a little Hollandaise sauce. 1.3306 0.05458 124 92 23 9
882 It's not easy being green? That's all you've got? Let's switch. 1.3306 0.05428 121 89 24 8
883 When did you start feeling that your bottom half was disposable? 1.3305 0.05254 118 85 27 6
884 I know you think everyone hates you, but just imagine being an eggplant. 1.3304 0.06016 115 88 16 11
885 Sometimes, I think I am a tree 1.3304 0.05439 112 81 25 6
886 This is key. Are you a tree or a piece of broccoli? 1.3304 0.05585 112 82 23 7
887 Among other things I was accused of blocking the view of the forest 1.3304 0.05727 112 83 21 8
888 Saving the world by capturing carbon is a lot of pressure, but first I think we should deal with your fear of racoons." 1.3302 0.05643 106 77 23 6
889 It’s autumn, just let go. 1.3290 0.04677 155 113 33 9
890 You have to stop stalking me. 1.3289 0.04804 149 109 31 9
891 I'm sorry to say I didn't hear you when you fell in the forest. 1.3285 0.05192 137 102 25 10
892 I suggest you get back to your roots. 1.3285 0.05192 137 102 25 10
893 Tell me this doc, what does cauliflower have that I don't? 1.3284 0.04943 134 97 30 7
894 Doc, one day I feel like a tree then next a stick of broccoli. Am I wrong to blame the artist? 1.3284 0.05482 134 102 20 12
895 It seems that "persistent vegetative state" isn't quite what I thought. 1.3284 0.05056 134 98 28 8
896 I'm afraid your bark is worse than your blight." 1.3284 0.05273 134 100 24 10
897 It IS about inner growth, but stop measuring your value by how many rings you have.... 1.3284 0.04466 134 93 38 3
898 So you're feeling uprooted? 1.3282 0.05018 131 95 29 7
899 You can't base your self worth on popularity. Everyone acknowledges how healthy you are! 1.3282 0.05247 131 97 25 9
900 You lack the tenderness a healthy relationship requires. 1.3282 0.04900 131 94 31 6
901 Ok some people don't like broccoli. That doesn't make you bad. 1.3282 0.05134 131 96 27 8
902 If you ask me, it sounds like it's all in your head. 1.3282 0.05466 131 99 21 11
903 Yes, I've heard the expression, "Heavy is the crown." 1.3281 0.05096 128 93 28 7
904 Tell me, when did you begin to feel uprooted? 1.3281 0.05096 128 93 28 7
905 So, they keep hugging you without your permission? 1.3281 0.04974 128 92 30 6
906 Don't be a sap. 1.3280 0.05051 125 90 29 6
907 Do you identify as broccoli or as a tree? 1.3280 0.05421 125 93 23 9
908 For most of us, purpose is defined not so much by what we do as it is by the actual act of being. For you, I’m guessing it’s stir-fry. 1.3280 0.05301 125 92 25 8
909 What do you mean It isn't easy being green"? 1.3280 0.05301 125 92 25 8
910 Looks arent everything . It’s a matter of taste 1.3279 0.05390 122 90 24 8
911 What's important is that *you* like you. 1.3279 0.04861 122 86 32 4
912 So, she left you for Rabe, even though he's a known stalker? 1.3277 0.05079 119 85 29 5
913 You can relax a bit here. We don't allow dogs or campers inside the building. 1.3277 0.05737 119 90 19 10
914 Stalk Therapy 1.3277 0.05612 119 89 21 9
915 Vegging out is normal, especially in your case. 1.3277 0.05217 119 86 27 6
916 People only think of me as a side. 1.3277 0.05352 119 87 25 7
917 But are you *your* favourite vegetable? 1.3276 0.05306 116 84 26 6
918 So Mr. Wood, you were mistaken for Broccoli how many times this year and how does this make you feel? 1.3274 0.05684 113 84 21 8
919 So are you a broccoli that wants to be a tree or vice versa? 1.3274 0.05399 113 82 25 6
920 No one can determine if you’re broccoli or a tree but yourself. 1.3273 0.05646 110 81 22 7
921 And why do you think kids don’t like you? 1.3272 0.04451 162 117 37 8
922 Well....I don't think it's a deeply rooted problem. 1.3268 0.04527 153 110 36 7
923 Maybe it's all in your head. 1.3265 0.05576 98 70 24 4
924 People are always trying to butter you up, but facts are facts, people just don't like you for who you really are. 1.3262 0.04557 141 100 36 5
925 Just accept it. People don't like broccoli. 1.3262 0.04982 141 104 28 9
926 This might sound judgmental, but it is coming from a place of empathy. That is a lot of masturbation. 1.3262 0.05181 141 106 24 11
927 Your day is coming, Mr. Broccoli. Remember, everybody used to hate Kale too. 1.3262 0.05083 141 105 26 10
928 I'm a full grown broccoli Doc, but they still call me broccolini 1.3261 0.04950 138 101 29 8
929 I know you want to identify as black, but that is not an afro. 1.3261 0.05056 138 102 27 9
930 How do you feel when people constantly try to butter you up? 1.3259 0.05239 135 101 24 10
931 The cauliflower trend will pass. You'll see. 1.3259 0.04682 135 96 34 5
932 Don’t take it so personal - everyone hates Broccoli. 1.3258 0.04986 132 96 29 7
933 Don't worry, not every session bears fruit. 1.3258 0.05323 132 99 23 10
934 Your paranoia is valid. You are stalked. 1.3256 0.05063 129 94 28 7
935 So, tell me more about Britney Spears being in your family tree. 1.3256 0.05181 129 95 26 8
936 Now when you say 'family tree'.... 1.3256 0.04942 129 93 30 6
937 I agree - growing two feet in one year IS very unusual. 1.3254 0.05018 126 91 29 6
938 So, the dream is that you fall and no one is there to hear you? 1.3254 0.05384 126 94 23 9
939 I get that you're steamed, but you're much healthier that way. 1.3252 0.05714 123 94 18 11
940 So, let's explore this a little more. When you fell in the forest, there was nobody around right? 1.3250 0.04903 120 85 31 4
941 - I guess this is your destiny, they hate you but will buy you every week anyway... 1.3246 0.05502 114 84 23 7
942 The problem is, you’ve lost touch with your roots. 1.3246 0.05061 114 81 29 4
943 So, you feel your downward spiral began back when the first President Bush said he didn’t like broccoli? 1.3246 0.05777 114 86 19 9
944 It’s normal! Everyone says like it feels like they’ve been uprooted these days. 1.3245 0.05021 151 114 25 12
945 Why don’t you go home, take a nice ice bath for about 5-10 minutes and you’ll perk right up! 1.3243 0.05302 111 80 26 5
946 I've always liked you - even though no one else does" 1.3243 0.04815 148 109 30 9
947 Try to imagine having your bark being worse than your bite as a positive 1.3239 0.04850 142 104 30 8
948 It’s ok to be a tree and not want to be hugged !! 1.3235 0.05601 102 74 23 5
949 I know, it's hard to have no roots. Would it help if I say you have nice feet? 1.3233 0.04719 133 95 33 5
950 Let's go back to your earliest memory of resenting Kale's success 1.3233 0.05068 133 98 27 8
951 You need to let go of George Bush 1.3232 0.05712 99 72 22 5
952 It must be tough growing up under your father's shadow. 1.3231 0.05030 130 95 28 7
953 Last session you came dressed as a hot dog, so i think the broccoli outlook shows a healthier self concept , progress in that 1.3231 0.05030 130 95 28 7
954 No paper. I promise our office has gone completely electronic. 1.3231 0.05147 130 96 26 8
955 What do you think? My father is an oak tree and my mother is a stalk of broccoli. 1.3230 0.04458 161 117 36 8
956 Let’s start out with setting limits. Are you broccoli or a tree? 1.3228 0.05109 127 93 27 7
957 Looks like we have the same barber. 1.3228 0.05230 127 94 25 8
958 Honestly,I have not been able to put roots down in this city either. 1.3226 0.05191 124 91 26 7
959 So, how do you feel when a child refuses to eat you? 1.3226 0.05316 124 92 24 8
960 How long have you been having decapitation nightmares? 1.3226 0.05191 124 91 26 7
961 As to your problem, I'm going out on a limb here... 1.3223 0.05893 121 94 15 12
962 There's no way to get around your head being delicious. 1.3221 0.04881 149 111 28 10
963 It doesn’t matter what Bob Ross says. It’s ok to be a sad, little tree sometimes. 1.3220 0.05757 118 90 18 10
964 It's time to talk about the root of your problem. 1.3220 0.05090 118 85 28 5
965 It might help if you put down some roots. 1.3219 0.04950 146 109 27 10
966 I feel that I'm lacking roots. 1.3217 0.05174 115 83 27 5
967 It’s just a question of putting down deep roots somewhere. 1.3217 0.05024 115 82 29 4
968 I liked you better when you were a couch potato. 1.3217 0.05599 115 86 21 8
969 Actually, cheese might help. 1.3214 0.05262 112 81 26 5
970 How do I tell him that I am a deciduous and he's an evergreen, I will be bald every winter, he accepts that or I leave ? 1.3214 0.05262 112 81 26 5
971 I’m sorry, that was an insensitive question. Of course you made a sound when you fell. 1.3214 0.05262 112 81 26 5
972 The voices in your head are real- they're called "winds" 1.3212 0.04962 137 101 28 8
973 Look, kids hate me too. 1.3212 0.05069 137 102 26 9
974 I can help with your anxiety, but let's find the roots first. 1.3211 0.05512 109 80 23 6
975 I just don't have the same sentiment as Joyce Kilmer! 1.3211 0.05812 109 82 19 8
976 Can you say more about why you are feeling uprooted? 1.3211 0.05355 109 79 25 5
977 Dogs do it to every tree — don’t let that bother you. 1.3209 0.05146 134 100 25 9
978 My kids hate me 1.3208 0.05453 106 77 24 5
979 So when did the environmentalists begin to inappropriately touch you? 1.3204 0.06355 103 80 13 10
980 So,broccoli rabe is from your mother’s side of the family tree? 1.3204 0.05724 103 76 21 6
981 I know, I know. You fell in a forest and nobody heard you. But I'm here and I hear you. 1.3203 0.04952 128 93 29 6
982 And you have a deep-seated fear of melted butter, is that right? 1.3203 0.05195 128 95 25 8
983 Don't you think maybe Janet butters you up a little too often? 1.3200 0.04899 125 90 30 5
984 Organic or not. You are still broccoli. 1.3200 0.05400 125 94 22 9
985 I feel our sessions are better for me than you. 1.3197 0.05109 122 89 27 6
986 So, your mother was not a tree-hugger? 1.3197 0.05368 122 91 23 8
987 So, dinner parties and buffets make you nervous. 1.3197 0.05368 122 91 23 8
988 To overcome your fear of cheese, we need to immerse you in it. 1.3197 0.05240 122 90 25 7
989 So he cut you off at the knees? 1.3196 0.05589 97 70 23 4
990 And when did you first begin to feel no one would hear you if you fell? 1.3194 0.05088 144 109 24 11
991 So what exactly did this "little birdie" tell you? 1.3193 0.05054 119 86 28 5
992 Tell me about your childhood as an acorn. 1.3193 0.05460 119 89 22 8
993 So you have a feeling of abandonment when you fell & no one heard the sound? 1.3193 0.05193 119 87 26 6
994 I hear you saying, it isn't easy being green. 1.3193 0.05054 119 86 28 5
995 It’s not all in your head. Do you want to stalk about it? 1.3191 0.04648 141 102 33 6
996 Yes,I did say I had a beef with broccoli but… 1.3191 0.04861 141 104 29 8
997 I can see where those feelings stem from. 1.3190 0.05281 116 85 25 6
998 People only seem to like me when I'm drenched in cheddar cheese." 1.3188 0.04823 138 101 30 7
999 I think we need to focus more on the root cause... 1.3188 0.05037 138 103 26 9
1000 Don't take dog conduct personally. 1.3186 0.05373 113 83 24 6
1001 I have nightmares that I’ll be losing my hair in the fall! 1.3186 0.05932 113 87 16 10
1002 You were born a tree but identify as a woman? 1.3186 0.05797 113 86 18 9
1003 Now, if we could just get to the root of your problem. 1.3185 0.05004 135 100 27 8
1004 Tell me more about why you think people hate you. 1.3182 0.05193 132 99 24 9
1005 A lot of us are feeling uprooted these days. 1.3178 0.04897 107 75 30 2
1006 I know you don't like it when people say you look like a tree. Just be thankful you're not a banana. 1.3175 0.05363 126 95 22 9
1007 So tell me, what has you so steamed? 1.3175 0.05243 126 94 24 8
1008 OK, I agree that everybody hates you, but is that necessarily a bad thing? 1.3175 0.04995 126 92 28 6
1009 A lot of people don't like me either, that's life. 1.3172 0.04453 145 104 36 5
1010 So no one’s hugged you lately? 1.3172 0.04765 145 107 30 8
1011 Surely "every dog" doesn't piss on you. 1.3171 0.05330 123 92 23 8
1012 I had a dream I was being eaten alive 1.3171 0.05454 123 93 21 9
1013 He said you were spinach, and to hell with you? 1.3171 0.05330 123 92 23 8
1014 If you insist on being liked, try wearing some cheese. 1.3171 0.05330 123 92 23 8
1015 I know you are growing impatient, but it takes time before therapy bears fruit. 1.3171 0.05454 123 93 21 9
1016 You are right. The kids will have it tough in the garden with broccoli for their dad and cauliflower for their mom. 1.3171 0.04941 123 89 29 5
1017 You know, I have the same issue with my hair. My colleagues call me "Dr. Broccoli from Brooklyn". 1.3171 0.05204 123 91 25 7
1018 Let's cut back on the chlorophyll. 1.3171 0.04804 123 88 31 4
1019 Broccoli isn't so bad, you could be bananas. 1.3171 0.05454 123 93 21 9
1020 You know, part of growing up is also learning how to branch out. 1.3169 0.04620 142 103 33 6
1021 It will be difficult for us to get to the root of your problem here in the office 1.3167 0.05290 120 89 24 7
1022 In the interest of full disclosure, I’ve never liked you either. 1.3167 0.05156 120 88 26 6
1023 I wouldn’t worry so much about fall, just live your life. 1.3167 0.05290 120 89 24 7
1024 It all started in Brooklyn" 1.3167 0.05549 120 91 20 9
1025 I do hear you when you fall,the couch is just very soft 1.3167 0.05019 120 87 28 5
1026 Let’s discuss your family tree. 1.3165 0.05109 139 105 24 10
1027 First, stop reading Shel Silverstein. 1.3163 0.05728 98 72 21 5
1028 Why do you think you are not a vegetable? 1.3162 0.05242 117 86 25 6
1029 I see you've started to branch out. 1.3162 0.05777 117 90 17 10
1030 So tell me, how did the date with the brussel sprout go…did she take the whole bunch with her.. like last time? 1.3162 0.05242 117 86 25 6
1031 So, tell me your florets. 1.3162 0.05381 117 87 23 7
1032 Tell me more about when your leaves left you. 1.3162 0.04391 136 96 37 3
1033 OK, kids laugh at you. But look on the bright side, they won't bite you. 1.3162 0.05187 136 103 23 10
1034 Have you told your friends that you don’t like being roasted? 1.3162 0.04514 136 97 35 4
1035 It's ok if you are not sure if you are broccoli or a tree. 1.3158 0.05048 133 99 26 8
1036 So, I think we've had a real breakthrough with dogs. Now I’d like to turn our attention to bike chains. 1.3158 0.05333 114 84 24 6
1037 We all feel a little green from time to time. 1.3158 0.05048 133 99 26 8
1038 When did it first occur to you that you were being stalked?? 1.3154 0.04770 149 111 29 9
1039 Well, if it's any comfort you're both carbon and calorie neutral. 1.3154 0.04638 130 93 33 4
1040 I don't know if you are broccoli, broccolini, or a tree. The important thing is to love yourself." 1.3154 0.05464 130 100 19 11
1041 I know that you were hoping that our sessions would bear fruit. 1.3154 0.04765 130 94 31 5
1042 Actually, I think you really ARE a tree. 1.3154 0.04888 130 95 29 6
1043 Can you think of any reason why you might be holding on to your leaves this late in the season? 1.3154 0.05126 130 97 25 8
1044 My girlfriend left me for a hardwood 1.3154 0.05126 130 97 25 8
1045 I've got to ask... is that a wig? 1.3153 0.05721 111 84 19 8
1046 So you've realized you have social anxiety now that people are visiting the park again. 1.3153 0.05427 111 82 23 6
1047 If you were a human, what kind of human would you want to be? 1.3153 0.06001 111 86 15 10
1048 Yes, it's a good disguise, but it would work better in a forest. 1.3153 0.05721 111 84 19 8
1049 Trees lives matter 1.3153 0.05274 111 81 25 5
1050 It's fine, my kids hate you too. 1.3150 0.05443 127 97 20 10
1051 Well I would agree with them - you ARE a shady character. 1.3150 0.05208 127 95 24 8
1052 Your fear of fire seems deeply rooted. 1.3148 0.05368 108 79 24 5
1053 I see you are green with envy, but I think we can beet this if you lettuce. 1.3148 0.06121 108 84 14 10
1054 You need to start believing that fall doesn't define you. 1.3148 0.05527 108 80 22 6
1055 What's your first memory as a floret? 1.3145 0.05168 124 92 25 7
1056 So let's begin with some anger issues. When was the last time you were steamed? 1.3145 0.05039 124 91 27 6
1057 Unrooted or uprooted - you have the power to choose! 1.3145 0.05416 124 94 21 9
1058 Don't be a narcissist. All trees have leaves on their heads. 1.3145 0.05168 124 92 25 7
1059 No one will love you until you learn to love yourself. 1.3143 0.05178 140 107 22 11
1060 You know I hate it when you vegetate. 1.3143 0.05120 105 75 27 3
1061 So, Mr Oaks, you're worried that your kids will be nuts 1.3143 0.05078 140 106 24 10
1062 Don't feel you have to crucify yourself just because you're cruciferous. 1.3140 0.05509 121 92 20 9
1063 So branching out didn’t work so well, eh? 1.3140 0.05382 121 91 22 8
1064 I see you’re still in that vegetated state 1.3140 0.05253 121 90 24 7
1065 You're experiencing floret delusions. 1.3140 0.04984 121 88 28 5
1066 It all started when kale started to become fashionable 1.3139 0.04942 137 102 27 8
1067 I think you just need to get back to your roots 1.3139 0.04486 137 98 35 4
1068 Perhaps your loneliness stems from your unwillingness to branch out? 1.3137 0.05908 102 77 18 7
1069 So, you continue to experience these nightmares of being stalked? 1.3137 0.04771 153 115 28 10
1070 What do you mean when you fall in the forest it brings up a lot of issues? 1.3134 0.04787 134 98 30 6
1071 Are you having thoughts of steaming yourself? 1.3134 0.04787 134 98 30 6
1072 I'm sorry but isn't it a good thing that nobody likes you? 1.3131 0.05495 99 72 23 4
1073 Trust me,the Fall is nothing to be afraid of. 1.3131 0.05304 99 71 25 3
1074 But, dear, I swear I've never ever seen a poem as lovely as you. 1.3130 0.05293 115 85 24 6
1075 It doesn’t matter that I might choose crowns over spears, what matters is your self when steamed. 1.3130 0.05428 131 101 19 11
1076 Maybe you should think about getting a trim if your arms are that tired. 1.3125 0.04917 112 80 29 3
1077 So, you say your problems began with the first Bush administration? 1.3125 0.05533 112 84 21 7
1078 We aren’t going to get to the root of your problem if you don’t stop hedging. 1.3125 0.05053 128 95 26 7
1079 But when you were younger, you liked dogs. 1.3125 0.06162 96 73 16 7
1080 You said you’d like to branch out? 1.3125 0.05602 96 70 22 4
1081 It is common, however you need not feel guilt due to your enjoyment of self-pollination. 1.3120 0.05133 125 93 25 7
1082 What do former presidents know anyway? 1.3120 0.05257 125 94 23 8
1083 Sauteed, pureed, steamed, chopped, devoured whole--I understand how contemplating your end must be difficult. 1.3120 0.05133 125 93 25 7
1084 The fact that they ate Aunt Bev’s cornflakes, frankfurter and marshmallow casserole, and didn’t touch your plate, says more about them than anything else. 1.3120 0.05257 125 94 23 8
1085 And when did this fear of vegans first develop? 1.3119 0.05164 109 79 26 4
1086 I see, so what you’re telling me is that, kids are now wanting to eat you for dinner and that’s when the nightmares started? 1.3119 0.04997 109 78 28 3
1087 So the broccoli pizza crust wasn’t a hit? 1.3118 0.06111 93 70 17 6
1088 Louis I can't help that no kids like you. 1.3116 0.04911 138 103 27 8
1089 Yes, the sixties were great, but they’re over. 1.3115 0.05944 122 97 12 13
1090 You should be very pleased so many dogs pick you. 1.3115 0.05085 122 90 26 6
1091 You could just cut it all off and try to pass as celery. 1.3115 0.05085 122 90 26 6
1092 Did the other kids not like you when you were young? 1.3115 0.04811 122 88 30 4
1093 I wouldn't worry too much...you're young and sometimes it takes a while to settle down and establish roots. 1.3111 0.04757 135 99 30 6
1094 It was a figure of speech, branching out. 1.3111 0.05094 135 102 24 9
1095 You need to turn a new leaf… 1.3109 0.05303 119 89 23 7
1096 Don’t be so hard on yourself. You’re not the only one who thought Joyce Kilmer was a woman! 1.3109 0.05028 119 87 27 5
1097 I don't think it's helpful for you to keep calling me your arborist. 1.3109 0.05566 119 91 19 9
1098 I feel like I am getting pissed on every day... 1.3107 0.05349 103 75 24 4
1099 Stop trying to be good for everybody. 1.3106 0.05173 132 100 23 9
1100 But why do you let yourself be treated as just a garnish? 1.3106 0.05060 132 99 25 8
1101 That's what dogs do, you can't take it personal 1.3103 0.05110 116 85 26 5
1102 I know you don't like it that your husband is such a couch potato, but getting steamed about it is not a solution. 1.3103 0.05395 116 87 22 7
1103 Did you say you grew up in Brooklyn? 1.3101 0.05481 129 100 18 11
1104 Once we find the root of the problem, we can branch out from there and see where that leaves us. 1.3101 0.05369 129 99 20 10
1105 Clearly, you have some deeply rooted issues. 1.3101 0.04511 129 92 34 3
1106 It’s probably empty nest syndrome. 1.3100 0.05449 100 73 23 4
1107 The good news? Your problems do not appear to be deep rooted. 1.3099 0.04915 142 107 26 9
1108 Did you make a sound when you fell? Asking for a friend." 1.3097 0.05041 113 82 27 4
1109 Now Mr. Floret, for the last time, there isn't any ranch dressing anywhere in this room. 1.3097 0.05491 113 85 21 7
1110 Your friends and family are right, a good cheese sauce would go a long way in increasing your popularity. 1.3097 0.05195 113 83 25 5
1111 What makes you think you're a couch potato? 1.3097 0.05633 113 86 19 8
1112 So you are saying you "loose part of yourself" every Fall. 1.3097 0.05345 113 84 23 6
1113 Of course I know kale when I see it. 1.3095 0.05098 126 94 25 7
1114 And what are these birds telling you? 1.3095 0.05459 126 97 19 10
1115 This is way more convenient than a walk in the woods. 1.3095 0.05221 126 95 23 8
1116 As you were telling me, you were never popular among middle schoolers, right? 1.3093 0.05744 97 72 20 5
1117 You can't be loved by everyone. 1.3093 0.05554 97 71 22 4
1118 How does it make you feel when people say they don’t like you? 1.3092 0.04689 152 114 29 9
1119 What makes it difficult for you to put down roots? 1.3091 0.05125 110 80 26 4
1120 Have you thought about trying cheese? 1.3089 0.05431 123 94 20 9
1121 And they said it was because of me they could no longer see the forest 1.3089 0.05671 123 96 16 11
1122 The court sent you here because of serious charges. You don't think "stalk" is an accurate description? 1.3087 0.04656 149 111 30 8
1123 I keep getting dreams that I am covered in cheese whiz. 1.3084 0.05541 107 80 21 6
1124 Don't feel so bad. The Kale frenzy is only a fad. 1.3084 0.05379 107 79 23 5
1125 Tell me more about this recurring sense of abandonment you feel. You say it's seasonal? 1.3084 0.05213 107 78 25 4
1126 You should branch out more. 1.3083 0.05265 120 90 23 7
1127 Do you hate you? 1.3083 0.05397 120 91 21 8
1128 So, I understand you feel rootless… 1.3083 0.05131 120 89 25 6
1129 There's lots of reasons why people get gassy, it's not necessarily your fault. 1.3083 0.04795 133 98 29 6
1130 And then I fell. And nobody noticed 1.3082 0.04817 146 110 27 9
1131 It's okay to tell them you're not a hugger, Terry. 1.3077 0.05306 104 76 24 4
1132 So what do you feel has inhibited your growth in the forest: your small town roots or your branching out in business? 1.3077 0.05104 130 98 24 8
1133 So when you noticed all the other food eaten on the plate but you, this generated feelings of abandonment. 1.3077 0.04986 130 97 26 7
1134 Have you thought about branching out a bit more? 1.3077 0.04741 130 95 30 5
1135 What evidence do you have that the cauliflowers run the entertainment industry? 1.3070 0.05449 114 86 21 7
1136 When they wrote that you were a son-of-a-bitch, I'm sure it was just a typo, Mr. Birch. 1.3070 0.05157 114 84 25 5
1137 It doesn’t matter that so many people don’t like you. Take pride in how GOOD you are for them! 1.3070 0.05305 114 85 23 6
1138 Is it true? Did you make a sound? 1.3070 0.05305 114 85 23 6
1139 You're depressed because you fell in a forest, and no one heard you? 1.3070 0.05449 114 86 21 7
1140 "I suggest that you find a tree hugger to help you get better..' 1.3069 0.05403 101 74 23 4
1141 I get it. If you fall,you just want to be heard. 1.3065 0.05144 124 93 24 7
1142 I could refer you to a good horticulturist. 1.3063 0.05245 111 82 24 5
1143 Why do you feel children don't like you? 1.3063 0.05245 111 82 24 5
1144 I don't think it's cheating if Ranch sees other veggies. 1.3063 0.05245 111 82 24 5
1145 Well. First let’s talk about your fear of birds. 1.3063 0.05245 111 82 24 5
1146 Are you asking me if your fear of vegans is irrational? 1.3063 0.05399 111 83 22 6
1147 You've made progress but you're not out of the woods yet. 1.3063 0.05548 111 84 20 7
1148 So you are a little different? Work it! Let your freak flag fly. 1.3063 0.05245 111 82 24 5
1149 Let’s talk more about your cousin Rob. 1.3063 0.05548 111 84 20 7
1150 I think what you really need is a botanist. 1.3063 0.05245 111 82 24 5
1151 Everyone feels rootless these days. 1.3061 0.05311 98 71 24 3
1152 Sounds like your childhood was nuts. 1.3058 0.04817 121 88 29 4
1153 No, it's okay... I'm afraid of steam myself. 1.3056 0.05652 108 82 19 7
1154 The first thing you should do is to put down some roots. 1.3056 0.05337 108 80 23 5
1155 In Autumn, leaves begin to fall off trees. It's not personal. 1.3056 0.05803 108 83 17 8
1156 Fantasizing about cheese and bacon does not make you "weird". 1.3056 0.05172 108 79 25 4
1157 Forget about the George Bushes of the world, lots of people love Broccoli. 1.3053 0.04584 131 95 32 4
1158 Yes, I can see there's a lot going on in your head. 1.3053 0.04584 131 95 32 4
1159 I just don't see us getting anywhere without Ranch. 1.3053 0.06000 95 72 17 6
1160 Of course people love you... it's just that they might love you more in creamy parmesan. 1.3048 0.05263 105 77 24 4
1161 I'd say you've finally eaten too much Broccoli. 1.3047 0.05150 128 97 23 8
1162 You are what you eat. 1.3046 0.04791 151 115 26 10
1163 Then why did she leave you? 1.3043 0.05729 92 68 20 4
1164 Why do you think so many have beef with you? 1.3043 0.05265 115 86 23 6
1165 Come on now, I’m sure not *everyone* has beef with you. 1.3043 0.05119 115 85 25 5
1166 And just how long have you had this feeling that you are being stalked?" 1.3043 0.04669 138 102 30 6
1167 You can just lay there and vegetate for a while if you’d like. 1.3043 0.04890 138 104 26 8
1168 You say his kids don't like you... 1.3040 0.04980 125 93 26 6
1169 Just out of curiosity, when you fell in the forest did it make a sound? 1.3040 0.05474 125 97 18 10
1170 Just because you have nuts doesn’t mean that you’re nuts. 1.3040 0.04980 125 93 26 6
1171 Go out on a limb! Move to Brooklyn! 1.3037 0.04734 135 100 29 6
1172 Cauliflower envy is a possibility. 1.3036 0.05205 112 83 24 5
1173 Then you relocated? Weren’t you firmly planted? 1.3036 0.05205 112 83 24 5
1174 Are you ok? You're looking a little green. 1.3033 0.04784 122 89 29 4
1175 Personally, I understand why people can't stomach you. 1.3030 0.04680 132 97 30 5
1176 You need to accept that your whole family is cruciferous, it’s genetic. 1.3030 0.05266 99 72 24 3
1177 As a sapling the other trees constantly called me an invasive species. 1.3028 0.05295 109 81 23 5
1178 Let stalk about it… 1.3028 0.05607 109 83 19 7
1179 It's obvious that you are still suffering from the trauma of the G. H. W. Bush presidency. 1.3028 0.05756 109 84 17 8
1180 I’m tired of only being appreciated for my head. Everyone discards the rest of me. 1.3025 0.05141 119 89 24 6
1181 As your psycho-arborist I can see why your depressed - you've lost standing, you're uprooted, and you no longer bear fruit. 1.3025 0.05541 119 92 18 9
1182 I do know how you feel. I was also called Broccoli Head in school. 1.3025 0.05411 119 91 20 8
1183 So... describe this feeling of rootlessness... 1.3023 0.04996 129 97 25 7
1184 They tried to cook me for dinner last night... "How did that make you feel?" .. I was really steamed. 1.3022 0.04752 139 104 28 7
1185 My mother sent you, didn't she. 1.3021 0.05758 96 72 19 5
1186 So you really believe Green is the new Black? 1.3020 0.04637 149 112 29 8
1187 So when your wife says you just like to veg out, how does that make you feel? 1.3019 0.05046 106 77 26 3
1188 On an emotional level, you project a rather wooden attitude. 1.3019 0.05714 106 81 18 7
1189 I said you could stretch out, who told you to take off your fucking socks? 1.3019 0.05869 106 82 16 8
1190 Was it right after she said, “You’re too good for me,” that she ran off with a pint of Cherry Garcia? 1.3019 0.05714 106 81 18 7
1191 I'm sorry to hear your son has joined a splinter group 1.3017 0.05226 116 87 23 6
1192 You’ve got to stop thinking you’re the only tree in Brooklyn. 1.3017 0.05081 116 86 25 5
1193 I’m a psychiatrist, not a hairdresser. 1.3017 0.04931 116 85 27 4
1194 So you feel like it’s all in your head? 1.3016 0.04817 126 93 28 5
1195 So you say that nobody likes you? 1.3016 0.05197 126 96 22 8
1196 Truth be told, there are times I want to be a queen palm too. 1.3015 0.04931 136 103 25 8
1197 That's not true. There's even a US President who likes you. 1.3015 0.04931 136 103 25 8
1198 Sorry, you think you're being stalked or you are a stalk? 1.3015 0.05040 136 104 23 9
1199 We're eventually going to have to discuss your broccolini years. 1.3011 0.05879 93 70 18 5
1200 So your salad days were Hell. 1.3011 0.05249 93 67 24 2
1201 You're right. Nobody loves you. 1.3010 0.05827 103 79 17 7
1202 My wife left me for a Linden, too. 1.3010 0.05661 103 78 19 6
1203 Let's go back to your roots." 1.3009 0.05166 113 84 24 5
1204 So you had a single parent who ignored you, and your baby siblings were all nuts? 1.3009 0.05463 113 86 20 7
1205 Good news is the voices you're hearing are actually a squirrel, two robins, and a chipmunk. The bad news is they're not wrong about your relationship with your mother. 1.3009 0.05606 113 87 18 8
1206 You seem really steamed. 1.3009 0.05010 113 83 26 4
1207 You don't have to mitigate carbon emissions all by yourself. There are other trees out there to help! 1.3009 0.04850 113 82 28 3
1208 What did your family say when you told them you wanted to pick up your roots and move on? 1.3009 0.05166 113 84 24 5
1209 Please don't tell me it's all in my head. 1.3009 0.05166 113 84 24 5
1210 So what if you're broccoli? Some of my best friends are cruciferous. 1.3008 0.05155 123 93 23 7
1211 They keep telling me it’s all in my head. 1.3008 0.05155 123 93 23 7
1212 It is time that you got over not being served on Air Force One 1.3008 0.05024 123 92 25 6
1213 There’s more to self esteem than just having a big head 1.3008 0.05024 123 92 25 6
1214 I'm not sure the dog piss is really about you. 1.3008 0.04771 133 99 28 6
1215 Have you thought about why whether you made a sound or not is so important to you? 1.3008 0.05335 133 104 18 11
1216 I can see why you have problems wearing turtlenecks and hats 1.3008 0.04267 133 95 36 2
1217 I need you to branch out. 1.3008 0.05005 133 101 24 8
1218 You’re having a bad hair day. It happens to all of us. Yours just happens to be leafy green. 1.3007 0.04763 143 108 27 8
1219 This isn’t about your mother. *Nobody* likes broccoli. 1.3000 0.04963 130 98 25 7
1220 Some people just aren't going to like you and you just have to learn to be okay with that. 1.3000 0.04822 120 88 28 4
1221 Yes, it might improve your self-esteem, but I don't think we can persuade Popeye to switch. 1.3000 0.05347 90 65 23 2
1222 Is this the first autumn you couldn't let go? 1.3000 0.05596 100 75 20 5
1223 Even the people who say they like me are really just faking it. 1.3000 0.05575 90 66 21 3
1224 So you believe you are having an identity crisis, Mr. Cauliflower? 1.3000 0.05104 120 90 24 6
1225 I just feel like I'm all up in my head 1.3000 0.05563 110 84 19 7
1226 Maybe you need to branch out more and stop hanging out with shady characters. 1.3000 0.05870 120 96 12 12
1227 If you’ll allow me to dig just a bit deeper, I am certain we’ll find the root of the problem. 1.3000 0.05575 90 66 21 3
1228 You're looking healthy! 1.3000 0.05563 110 84 19 7
1229 If you were coniferous, how do you image your life would be different? 1.3000 0.05626 120 94 16 10
1230 Doc, I get tired of people constantly telling me how healthy I am. It’s a lot of pressure for a vegetable. 1.2993 0.04559 137 101 31 5
1231 And would you say that when Margaret said that she didn’t want to see you any longer it got you a little steamed? 1.2992 0.04784 127 94 28 5
1232 Sooooooo...you're a branch manager and they want you to uproot and transplant to another region? 1.2992 0.04913 127 95 26 6
1233 of course I can help, I'm a certified mental health arborist. 1.2992 0.05281 127 98 20 9
1234 You should try to be less bitter. 1.2992 0.04652 127 93 30 4
1235 And is this “Broccolini” in the room with us now? 1.2992 0.05039 127 96 24 7
1236 So, how good is your insurance? 1.2992 0.05039 127 96 24 7
1237 So your mother was an evergreen and your father was a tree hugger? 1.2991 0.05188 117 88 23 6
1238 What I’m hearing is that you’re anxious about losing your head at dinner time. 1.2991 0.05044 117 87 25 5
1239 I'm not sure that dealing with aggressive squirrels is something I can help you with. 1.2991 0.05007 107 78 26 3
1240 I'm not yet sure but it may be more than just a bad hair day. 1.2990 0.05707 97 73 19 5
1241 It's perfectly normal to feel green" 1.2986 0.04416 144 106 33 5
1242 And why do you feel like everybody hates you? 1.2984 0.05369 124 96 19 9
1243 I'm impressed by the growth you've demonstrated since we've been seeing one another. 1.2984 0.05245 124 95 21 8
1244 Yes, after everything that you’ve been through it’s normal to feel uprooted. 1.2982 0.04973 114 84 26 4
1245 I would ask how you feel, but do you even? 1.2982 0.05421 114 87 20 7
1246 You're here, so . . . your problem isn't as deeply rooted as you think. 1.2981 0.05271 104 77 23 4
1247 You can't say you didn't see this coming--with all that 'You are what you eat' talk. 1.2981 0.05271 104 77 23 4
1248 Ah, yes, there is definitely a shady side on your family tree 1.2981 0.05937 104 81 15 8
1249 I’d like us to start with talking about your salad days. 1.2981 0.05271 104 77 23 4
1250 Don't get ahead of yourself! 1.2981 0.05091 104 76 25 3
1251 Your friends might not like it, but it's your job to throw shade. 1.2979 0.05418 94 69 22 3
1252 On the bright side, at least you are not a couch potato." Andrew Kimball, New York Cit 1.2979 0.05205 141 111 18 12
1253 Well, yes. I suppose, in a way, I'm steamed too... 1.2975 0.05333 121 93 20 8
1254 Yeeeeaah... sorry about that. I never fart with my other patients. 1.2975 0.04930 121 90 26 5
1255 Why do you think you're feeling so steamed? 1.2975 0.05460 121 94 18 9
1256 How long have you experienced these nightmares of being stalked? 1.2975 0.04930 121 90 26 5
1257 Why not try a weekend at the ranch and take a dip? 1.2973 0.05214 111 83 23 5
1258 You’re still raw because George H.W. hated you? 1.2973 0.05054 111 82 25 4
1259 Yes, President Bush was mean to you, but remember Kermit said "It's not easy being green." 1.2973 0.05214 111 83 23 5
1260 It doesn't matter whether others like you. What matters is that you like yourself. 1.2973 0.05665 111 86 17 8
1261 As your therapist I can say that you are not paranoid. The humans around you are trying to kill you. 1.2970 0.05179 101 74 24 3
1262 You’re right, I don’t know how it feels to be uprooted. 1.2970 0.05179 101 74 24 3
1263 I know it's painful, but the truth is... sometimes taste buds change. 1.2970 0.05894 101 78 16 7
1264 Maybe try a horseradish mousse. 1.2970 0.05724 101 77 18 6
1265 They are just pretending to like you 1.2970 0.05179 101 74 24 3
1266 Relax, you’re just branching out. 1.2969 0.05005 128 97 24 7
1267 Sure, Kale is riding a wave of popularity but you, Broccoli, have legs. 1.2966 0.05008 118 88 25 5
1268 It doesn't matter if they like you, as long as you like yourself. 1.2966 0.04709 118 86 29 3
1269 Have you ever considered that not everyone hates broccoli? 1.2963 0.04470 135 99 32 4
1270 What if I told you, all you need is a bit more fiber? 1.2963 0.05622 108 83 18 7
1271 In your case, being unpopular might actually be a good thing. 1.2963 0.05139 108 80 24 4
1272 Why is what some kid thinks so important to you? 1.2963 0.05465 108 82 20 6
1273 Not a couch potato, are you? 1.2963 0.05139 108 80 24 4
1274 And how did that make you feel when you fell and no one heard you? 1.2963 0.05051 135 104 22 9
1275 You've got to try branching out more. 1.2963 0.05465 108 82 20 6
1276 Why don't we try to get in touch with your inner broccolini. 1.2963 0.05622 108 83 18 7
1277 So you feel shunned at parties and dinners? 1.2960 0.04547 125 91 31 3
1278 I hear you...I hear you.. 1.2960 0.05208 125 96 21 8
1279 But did *you* hear it, Dave? 1.2960 0.05331 125 97 19 9
1280 But that George Bush comment was decades ago. The field you are from didn't even exist. 1.2959 0.05272 98 72 23 3
1281 So you told her you'd be good for her. But sometimes, women want the bad boy. 1.2959 0.05840 98 75 17 6
1282 How long have you had this nightmare that you're being stalked? 1.2958 0.05075 142 111 20 11
1283 These broccolini have really been messing with my body image lately. 1.2957 0.05089 115 86 24 5
1284 We should work on anger management - you look steamed. 1.2957 0.04937 115 85 26 4
1285 I'm afraid you are in a vegetative state. 1.2957 0.05236 115 87 22 6
1286 I agree it seems inequitable, but have you considered that maybe cauliflower actually needs the plastic wrap? 1.2957 0.05089 115 86 24 5
1287 I’d love to help but your leaves need to want to change. 1.2957 0.05380 115 88 20 7
1288 So you feel like you can't see the forest for the trees? 1.2957 0.05089 115 86 24 5
1289 My seedling says I’m shady and I drink too much. 1.2955 0.04655 132 98 29 5
1290 Of course I understand. When I was a kid, they used to call me string bean. 1.2952 0.05228 105 78 23 4
1291 Tree huggers are inconstant lovers. 1.2952 0.05567 105 80 19 6
1292 To get to the root of your problem, you really need to see an arborist. 1.2952 0.05050 105 77 25 3
1293 I'm afraid I can't treat you. I hate you, too. 1.2952 0.05730 105 81 17 7
1294 Your won’t experience inner growth until you deal with your fear of putting down roots. 1.2952 0.05730 105 81 17 7
1295 Of course nobody likes you. You're broccoli! Get over it. 1.2952 0.05400 105 79 21 5
1296 Perhaps you wouldn't be overlooked if you stopped ducking the cheese sauce! 1.2952 0.05400 105 79 21 5
1297 Look, we’ve all felt uprooted these past 21 months. 1.2952 0.05400 105 79 21 5
1298 OMG, you're GMO? 1.2952 0.05567 105 80 19 6
1299 Why do you think you’ve always felt pushed aside? 1.2951 0.04895 122 91 26 5
1300 And you say your parents were always throwing you shade? 1.2951 0.05165 122 93 22 7
1301 It's ok to branch out a little bit. 1.2947 0.05370 95 70 22 3
1302 Tell me, how long have been having these nightmares about woodpeckers? 1.2947 0.05772 95 72 18 5
1303 Let's get to the root of the problem, shall we? 1.2946 0.05174 112 84 23 5
1304 When did you first realize the apple was falling far from you? 1.2946 0.05174 112 84 23 5
1305 I don’t think you look anything like broccolini 1.2946 0.05016 112 83 25 4
1306 So you've got a part in the new "Macbeth" production? 1.2946 0.05016 112 83 25 4
1307 It's not easy to be green. 1.2946 0.05174 112 84 23 5
1308 So, you just uprooted yourself packed your trunk and left? 1.2941 0.05675 102 78 18 6
1309 Clearly, it’s a seasonal disorder. 1.2941 0.05675 102 78 18 6
1310 How long have you had this unnatural fear of getting very ill and becoming a vegetable? 1.2941 0.04826 119 88 27 4
1311 Maybe your salad days AREN’T over yet. 1.2941 0.05322 102 76 22 4
1312 Doc, I think I have a stalker. 1.2941 0.04971 119 89 25 5
1313 Reality check. You’re not a poem, you’re a tree. 1.2941 0.05501 102 77 20 5
1314 I think you need to stop dating Ms. Meloncauliflower. 1.2941 0.05113 119 90 23 6
1315 So you feel like you are in a vegetated state? 1.2941 0.05501 102 77 20 5
1316 I can’t shake the feeling I’m being stalked. 1.2941 0.04908 136 104 24 8
1317 I think two left feet is the root of your problem. 1.2937 0.05172 126 97 21 8
1318 So Mr Oli, can you describe your symptoms for me?” “Please doctor, call me Brocc 1.2937 0.04655 126 93 29 4
1319 When did people start calling you shady? 1.2936 0.05263 109 82 22 5
1320 Would you describe yourself as ‘giving’? 1.2936 0.05422 109 83 20 6
1321 A salad bar is still a bar, Rick. 1.2936 0.05576 109 84 18 7
1322 If it’s any consolation I always eat my broccoli. 1.2936 0.04754 109 79 28 2
1323 If I were cheating on you with Asparagus, you’d know it. 1.2936 0.05422 109 83 20 6
1324 No. I'm sorry. Nobody likes you. 1.2935 0.05687 92 69 19 4
1325 And how long have you had this fantasy of being stalked? 1.2932 0.04747 133 100 27 6
1326 I’m sure those kids were talking about broccoli. 1.2931 0.05051 116 87 24 5
1327 I think some pruning might be beneficial. 1.2931 0.05051 116 87 24 5
1328 Just know that I'm rooting for you. 1.2929 0.05227 99 73 23 3
1329 I believe if you persevere through autumn things won't weigh so heavily on you. 1.2929 0.05420 99 74 21 4
1330 The root of your problem seems to be abandonment issues associated with your leaves. 1.2929 0.05227 99 73 23 3
1331 How old were you when you first felt these "stalking urges"? 1.2929 0.05227 99 73 23 3
1332 I agree, it was wrong of him to call you a fruit. 1.2929 0.05420 99 74 21 4
1333 Listen, Mr. Broccoli, you have nothing to be ashamed of. People still want you. They just happen to like it better when you show up with Cool Ranch. 1.2929 0.04914 140 108 23 9
1334 how long have you had this uprooted feeling? 1.2929 0.04808 140 107 25 8
1335 Maybe we should start with your obsession with pesticides. 1.2927 0.04861 123 92 26 5
1336 So. Why don’t you begin by telling me about your seedhood. 1.2925 0.05356 106 80 21 5
1337 And your inferiority complex arose after your cauliflower parents said you were adopted? 1.2925 0.05010 106 78 25 3
1338 That must have gotten you steamed up. 1.2925 0.05186 106 79 23 4
1339 For once I wish parents would tell their kids “eat your cauliflower” instead. 1.2925 0.04637 106 76 29 1
1340 Were you in The Overstory? 1.2921 0.05582 89 66 20 3
1341 Would you be more comfortable in a drawer? 1.2920 0.05286 113 86 21 6
1342 You're feeling rootless? 1.2920 0.05433 113 87 19 7
1343 Let’s discuss the roots of your feelings. 1.2917 0.05524 96 72 20 4
1344 It's definitely asparaberger's syndrome. 1.2917 0.05212 120 92 21 7
1345 And then she called me a stalker! 1.2917 0.04792 120 89 27 4
1346 I’m going to go out on a limb here.” 1.2917 0.04936 120 90 25 5
1347 When did you begin to worry about going bald? 1.2913 0.05094 103 76 24 3
1348 Let’s go all the way back to when you were broccolini 1.2913 0.05455 103 78 20 5
1349 How long have you been hearing these birds in your head? 1.2913 0.05627 103 79 18 6
1350 Maybe it's not all in your head? 1.2910 0.04949 134 103 23 8
1351 Are you eating healthy? 1.2909 0.05379 110 84 20 6
1352 No, you CAN’T have a hug. That’s not what I do here. 1.2909 0.05222 110 83 22 5
1353 I think I will never see, a patient as lovely as a tree. 1.2909 0.05532 110 85 18 7
1354 I don’t want to go out on a limb here, but I think there’s a lot you’re covering up. 1.2909 0.05059 110 82 24 4
1355 How long have you had this addiction to throwing shade? 1.2909 0.05059 110 82 24 4
1356 Would you be more comfortable standing? 1.2907 0.05698 86 64 19 3
1357 Let's try some word association. Say the first word that comes into your mind. Apple --- 1.2906 0.04865 117 87 26 4
1358 I think it's a perfect time for you to put down some roots. 1.2906 0.05300 117 90 20 7
1359 I agree. You DO taste much better than Brussels Sprouts. 1.2906 0.05014 117 88 24 5
1360 I’m afraid therapy won’t cure your inability to return a hug. 1.2906 0.05300 117 90 20 7
1361 Try sequestering carbon, but don't hide away your love. 1.2906 0.05014 117 88 24 5
1362 Your sense of alienation could be helped by returning to your roots. 1.2903 0.04828 124 93 26 5
1363 Let’s talk some more about your dreams; you say that you’ve been waking up in a cold sweat dreaming that you’re drowning in melted cheese? 1.2903 0.05423 93 69 21 3
1364 You’re only two days old, you have the whole week ahead of you 1.2903 0.04962 124 94 24 6
1365 So you're saying you were steamed ... 1.2903 0.04250 124 89 34 1
1366 So you're telling me you don't think there's a place for you in Brooklyn any more? 1.2903 0.04828 124 93 26 5
1367 Your problems don't appear to be deep-rooted. 1.2903 0.05423 93 69 21 3
1368 It's natural to be bitter sometimes. 1.2901 0.04784 131 99 26 6
1369 What made you pull up roots and move to the city? 1.2901 0.04400 131 96 32 3
1370 Would you consider group therapy? I run a group which includes turnips, brussel spouts, beets, cabbage and others subject to broad public discrimination. 1.2901 0.04784 131 99 26 6
1371 While I support your decision to convert to Judaism, I don’t think it will help to alleviate your dread of the holiday season. 1.2901 0.04532 131 97 30 4
1372 But do YOU like you? 1.2900 0.05374 100 75 21 4
1373 Just because your name is "Broccoli " doesn't make you Italian. 1.2900 0.05559 100 76 19 5
1374 When did you first experience this feeling of rootlessness? 1.2900 0.04984 100 73 25 2
1375 Have you considered consulting a tree surgeon? 1.2900 0.05911 100 78 15 7
1376 Not a single bite huh? Even after Susie heard about the kids in Africa? 1.2900 0.05738 100 77 17 6
1377 My trust issues began when I first heard the phrase, "You are what you eat." 1.2900 0.04984 100 73 25 2
1378 A little cheese sauce and you'll be perfectly fine. 1.2900 0.04984 100 73 25 2
1379 You had that dream about President Bush again, didn't you? 1.2897 0.04970 107 79 25 3
1380 I can see that you are really steamed 1.2897 0.05635 107 83 17 7
1381 You might consider branching out a bit. 1.2897 0.05313 107 81 21 5
1382 I understand you're here for stalking? 1.2897 0.05145 107 80 23 4
1383 We are having a tough time finding you a large support group. 1.2897 0.04790 107 78 27 2
1384 I really don’t think us getting a dog would be a good idea 1.2897 0.05635 107 83 17 7
1385 I recommend bringing cauliflower next week so we can better understand your differences. 1.2897 0.05635 107 83 17 7
1386 Not everybody hates broccoli. My Mom loves you. 1.2895 0.05392 114 88 19 7
1387 Dark leafy greens, rich in B vitamins…Are you beginning to see a pattern? 1.2895 0.05246 114 87 21 6
1388 You're just going to have to accept the fact that not everybody likes you. 1.2895 0.05246 114 87 21 6
1389 I think it’s just asparagus envy. 1.2895 0.04941 114 85 25 4
1390 So-beautifying streets, cooling cities, sustaining entire eccosystems, carbon sequestration-you can manage all this, but the image of your “hungry mouth pressed against the sweet earth’s flowing breast”-that’s too much for you? 1.2893 0.05802 121 98 11 12
1391 A poem as lovely as a tree was inevitable. The question is, how will you deal with it? 1.2893 0.04758 121 90 27 4
1392 So you're feeling stumped? 1.2889 0.05529 90 67 20 3
1393 Your umbrage toward the GOP’s stance on climate change is valid. 1.2887 0.05153 142 113 17 12
1394 What makes you think people don't like you? 1.2887 0.05068 97 71 24 2
1395 How long have you had the feeling that you are constantly being stalked? 1.2887 0.05668 97 74 18 5
1396 Nobody likes you. Okay. But how does that make you feel? 1.2887 0.05668 97 74 18 5
1397 So the acting jobs have been slow since The Wizard of Oz? 1.2885 0.05579 104 80 18 6
1398 Fears of heights, squirrels, and birds. Do you mind if I include your case in a journal? 1.2883 0.05488 111 86 18 7
1399 So, tell me about the first time your mother told you that you’d never grow up to an entrée. 1.2883 0.05488 111 86 18 7
1400 Sometimes a squirrel is just a squirrel. 1.2881 0.05121 118 90 22 6
1401 What's cookin'? 1.2881 0.05121 118 90 22 6
1402 Your name isn't Rock Lee.. Its Brock O'Lee, so let's not get into any more fights. 1.2881 0.05121 118 90 22 6
1403 Sorry about that dog in Central Park. 1.2880 0.05057 125 96 22 7
1404 Please don't be so hard on yourself. These things are cyclical. It may be that by this time next year, avocado toast will be wishing to be in your shoes. 1.2880 0.04658 125 93 28 4
1405 Well, it's called Empty Nest Syndrome. 1.2879 0.04873 132 101 24 7
1406 A swelled head is not a problem if you are broccoli 1.2879 0.04753 132 100 26 6
1407 No, we are not related. Mine is hair; yours is leaves. 1.2875 0.05952 80 60 17 3
1408 just keep repeating it: I am NOT a cauliflower! 1.2872 0.05583 94 71 19 4
1409 You know, you don't have to be part of the bunch. 1.2871 0.05139 101 75 23 3
1410 Have you thought that maybe there is a reason no-one likes you? 1.2871 0.05139 101 75 23 3
1411 I could never make it work with her because her kids never liked me. 1.2871 0.05139 101 75 23 3
1412 I mean,what did kale ever do that was so great? 1.2871 0.05688 101 78 17 6
1413 So you’re saying that the apple DOES fall far? 1.2871 0.04943 101 74 25 2
1414 I’ve a therapist,not an arborist! 1.2870 0.05271 108 82 21 5
1415 I’m sorry, did you say you fell and nobody noticed? 1.2870 0.05104 108 81 23 4
1416 Don't worry they fall off. They always fall off. 1.2870 0.05104 108 81 23 4
1417 When you feel unloved , thank the stars you're not a brussel sprout. 1.2870 0.05589 108 84 17 7
1418 My mother was Daphne. 1.2870 0.04904 115 86 25 4
1419 Maybe if you were less bitter, people would like you more. 1.2870 0.05206 115 88 21 6
1420 Maybe you just need to branch out? 1.2870 0.05350 115 89 19 7
1421 I’ve been stalked. Is that a paranoid thought? 1.2869 0.04866 122 92 25 5
1422 What really gets you steamed? 1.2868 0.04290 129 94 33 2
1423 The internet only wants clicks. It doesn't really care if you're a tree or if you're broccoli. 1.2868 0.04995 136 106 21 9
1424 I know, the world has set unreasonable expectations, but not everyone is cut out to be a giving tree. 1.2857 0.05533 105 81 18 6
1425 Your mother said you weren't suited for a crudités platter. How does that make you feel? 1.2857 0.05141 112 85 22 5
1426 Of course, I'd eat you. Otherwise, my mom wouldn't let me have dessert. 1.2857 0.05191 105 79 22 4
1427 I think you just need to continue reaching for the sky 1.2857 0.05191 105 79 22 4
1428 Of course there's anxiety about your breakup with Ranch Dressing, but you've got to move on. 1.2857 0.05222 119 92 20 7
1429 Well yes, your being here does help me see the forest better. 1.2857 0.05696 91 69 18 4
1430 I just feel like everybody hates me 1.2857 0.05427 98 74 20 4
1431 So you fell in the woods and nobody heard you??? 1.2857 0.05141 112 85 22 5
1432 Its fall back and spring forward. 1.2857 0.05230 98 73 22 3
1433 Tree: “ I can’t get out of the friend zone - they hug me and then I never see them again “ 1.2857 0.05618 98 75 18 5
1434 Ordinarily, I'd say go the ER if you have wood for more than three hours. 1.2857 0.05591 112 88 16 8
1435 So, last time you expressed your nervousness about becoming a family tree" 1.2857 0.05533 105 81 18 6
1436 Your roots are showing. 1.2857 0.04826 105 77 26 2
1437 Ok, woodpeckers, beetles, fungus, dogs, acid rain, hurricanes, treehouses, chainsaws, and hammocks and tightropes. Anything else? 1.2857 0.06239 84 65 14 5
1438 You’ve got to quit living in the shadows all the time! 1.2857 0.04762 126 95 26 5
1439 It’s all come to a head, hasn’t it? 1.2857 0.05855 105 83 14 8
1440 The problem's not just in your canopy. 1.2857 0.05533 105 81 18 6
1441 You're saying that cauliflower gets all the respect. 1.2857 0.05696 105 82 16 7
1442 Does your crown make you feel “better” than the other vegetables? 1.2857 0.04722 133 101 26 6
1443 You’re better than kale, you’re smarter than kale, and, doggone it, people like you better than kale. 1.2857 0.05025 98 72 24 2
1444 I told you you wouldn’t look good in an Afro. 1.2846 0.04534 130 97 29 4
1445 How much broccoli did you eat as a child? 1.2846 0.05230 123 96 19 8
1446 You've got to get back to your roots. 1.2846 0.05101 123 95 21 7
1447 So, let's talk about the smell. 1.2845 0.05310 116 90 19 7
1448 When did you realise you'd lost that connection with your roots? 1.2845 0.05167 116 89 21 6
1449 I usually take Arbor Day off 1.2845 0.04868 116 87 25 4
1450 What genus do you identify with? 1.2845 0.04711 116 86 27 3
1451 When I suggested you branch out, this is not exactly what I meant. 1.2845 0.04868 116 87 25 4
1452 Don't allow yourself to get into a stew. 1.2845 0.05167 116 89 21 6
1453 How long have you felt children hate you? 1.2845 0.04711 116 86 27 3
1454 I can tell that your bark is worse than your bite. 1.2844 0.05229 109 83 21 5
1455 Everyone “leaves” me alone! 1.2844 0.05544 109 85 17 7
1456 Relax. This roasted cauliflower fad will pass. 1.2844 0.05389 109 84 19 6
1457 It's only natural to wonder about your roots. 1.2844 0.05544 109 85 17 7
1458 Let’s start at the root of the problem. 1.2844 0.04716 109 80 27 2
1459 When did you first think you should have been a fruit instead of a vegetable? 1.2844 0.05389 109 84 19 6
1460 Your mother is right, Brock, it does you no good to just veg around the house all day every day. 1.2843 0.05464 102 78 19 5
1461 I just grew tired of being a couch potato 1.2843 0.05283 102 77 21 4
1462 The truth is, Brock, you’re an acquired taste. 1.2843 0.05283 102 77 21 4
1463 You wouldn't believe the anti-cruciferous sentiment I have to deal with. 1.2842 0.05731 95 73 17 5
1464 You might want to try the barbershop on 48th. 1.2842 0.05731 95 73 17 5
1465 Were you upset when no one heard you in the forest? 1.2842 0.06109 95 75 13 7
1466 If people don't want to eat you,then you won't die. I don't understand what the problem is. 1.2842 0.05923 95 74 15 6
1467 And when did you first experience this dip? 1.2842 0.05325 95 71 21 3
1468 Face it. Climate change or no, you can't keep your leaves all winter. 1.2842 0.05532 95 72 19 4
1469 You need to focus on the big picture. Sure, you cause bloating and gas, but you’re also an excellent source of calcium. 1.2842 0.05325 95 71 21 3
1470 You say you’re feeling rootless? 1.2842 0.05325 95 71 21 3
1471 So she referred to it as a 'sprout'? 1.2840 0.05620 81 60 19 2
1472 Maybe you are a stalker, but at least you’re healthy 1.2835 0.05111 127 99 20 8
1473 Tell me again why you feel producing acorns would fulfill you? 1.2832 0.05254 113 87 20 6
1474 So you're telling me your father was a nut 1.2832 0.05102 113 86 22 5
1475 When did you first start seeing the woods and not the trees? 1.2830 0.05149 106 80 22 4
1476 I think you need to branch out. 1.2830 0.05321 106 81 20 5
1477 What makes you think nobody likes you? 1.2830 0.04972 106 79 24 3
1478 It's clear that your limp stalk stems from acute cucumber envy. 1.2828 0.05927 99 78 14 7
1479 You should probably look for a therapist who doesn't find you repulsive. 1.2828 0.05568 99 76 18 5
1480 I know Bush 41 didn't like you, but this is a new age! 1.2826 0.04931 138 108 21 9
1481 All right now, it wasn't easy being green for Kermit either but you're broccoli - you should try harder! 1.2826 0.05850 92 71 16 5
1482 Everyone doesn’t hate you. 1.2823 0.05192 124 97 19 8
1483 And you say you've felt this way since you were a seedling? 1.2823 0.04370 124 91 31 2
1484 Maybe you live in your head too much? 1.2821 0.05543 117 93 15 9
1485 Have you ever thought about putting down roots? 1.2821 0.05128 117 90 21 6
1486 don't be silly, that's what everyone likes best about you. 1.2821 0.04982 117 89 23 5
1487 While you think you are a stalker, you are really just a stalk. 1.2821 0.04982 117 89 23 5
1488 Even though the nuts are technically yours, the squirrel may still get them all in the divorce. 1.2821 0.05128 117 90 21 6
1489 Pronouncing it bra-CO-lee is not going to change anyone's perception of you. 1.2821 0.04832 117 88 25 4
1490 I do apologize, but we must end the session. I used to climb your parents.” 1.2821 0.04982 117 89 23 5
1491 Why do you think your wife only married you for your fiber? 1.2818 0.05187 110 84 21 5
1492 You are remarkably self aware. Your concerns are valid. Unfortunately, there is nothing I can do to help except lie to you.... 1.2818 0.05346 110 85 19 6
1493 I can't help you if you don't make a sound. 1.2818 0.05024 110 83 23 4
1494 I still can't hear you... 1.2818 0.05649 110 87 15 8
1495 I have a fear of frying. 1.2816 0.05590 103 80 17 6
1496 I'm going to go out on a limb and guess all of your problems are deep-rooted? 1.2816 0.05590 103 80 17 6
1497 I hear you. You fell in tbe woods. 1.2816 0.05054 103 77 23 3
1498 So your feelings of rejection go all the way back to childhood? 1.2816 0.05418 103 79 19 5
1499 Yes, it can be depressing to have feelings of rootlessness. 1.2815 0.04291 135 100 32 3
1500 I know, I know.You are depressed because Kale gets all the headlines. 1.2812 0.05278 96 72 21 3
1501 So, how long have you felt cruciferous? 1.2812 0.04565 128 96 28 4
1502 Small tree? Big broccoli? I can appreciate your identity crisis... 1.2812 0.05482 96 73 19 4
1503 Sorry to report that Tree IS the loneliest number. 1.2812 0.05868 96 75 15 6
1504 Yes, cauliflower is having a moment but don't let that undo all our work 1.2812 0.05678 96 74 17 5
1505 You came to the right place. Being uprooted is common in New York. 1.2812 0.05678 96 74 17 5
1506 kids are just like that... try not to take it personally. 1.2812 0.05678 96 74 17 5
1507 I keep falling and no one seems to hear me, Doc 1.2810 0.05010 121 93 22 6
1508 Please tell me about your family tree. 1.2810 0.05010 121 93 22 6
1509 Kale had similar misgivings. 1.2809 0.05297 89 66 21 2
1510 I think we’ve finally come to the root of your problems… 1.2809 0.05297 89 66 21 2
1511 I have never called you a couch potato. 1.2809 0.05759 89 68 17 4
1512 Every family tree is looking for its roots 1.2809 0.05759 89 68 17 4
1513 So let me get this straight - one week it’s broccoli and the next week it’s oak? Hey at least you don’t think you’re Napolean! 1.2807 0.05214 114 88 20 6
1514 If you were a human, what kind of human would you be? 1.2807 0.05361 114 89 18 7
1515 What exactly were you expecting when you heard “Ina Garten’s Roasted Broccoli “? 1.2807 0.05214 114 88 20 6
1516 Exactly how long have you been vegan? 1.2805 0.06079 82 63 15 4
1517 I think I see the root of your problem. 1.2804 0.05602 107 84 16 7
1518 To be honest, I think most of my insecurities stem from never being loved by a child 1.2804 0.05108 107 81 22 4
1519 I say you're broccoli, and I say the hell with you. 1.2804 0.05442 107 83 18 6
1520 Ordinarily, hating broccoli does not amount to an existential crisis. 1.2803 0.04726 132 101 25 6
1521 President Bush really wasn't referring to you! 1.2803 0.04726 132 101 25 6
1522 Your children may not love you now, but someday they'll respect you. 1.2800 0.05140 100 75 22 3
1523 I'm a psychiatrist, not a headshrinker. 1.2800 0.05519 100 77 18 5
1524 Let’s explore your anxiety about joining a stir fry…. 1.2800 0.05519 100 77 18 5
1525 I'd like to give you a referral to Dr. Henry Louis Gates Jr. He will help you find your roots. 1.2800 0.05140 100 75 22 3
1526 Maybe a healthy relationship just isn't what they are looking for? 1.2800 0.05333 100 76 20 4
1527 You’re too young for a mid-life crisis. Give it another 300 years.” 1.2800 0.05519 100 77 18 5
1528 So you recommend Miracle-Gro and a good conditioner? 1.2800 0.05874 100 79 14 7
1529 We all fall down sometimes. But no one will know that you need help unless you make a sound and say something. 1.2800 0.05519 100 77 18 5
1530 Have you ever considered stalk therapy? 1.2800 0.05140 100 75 22 3
1531 I understand the anger, but it’s quite possible no one heard you fall. 1.2796 0.06371 93 75 10 8
1532 Is this more of a vegetative or catatonic episode you’re experiencing? 1.2796 0.06185 93 74 12 7
1533 First,you have to believe you deserve a relationship that’s both healthy and steamy. 1.2796 0.05795 93 72 16 5
1534 Ah, so he's cauliflower. And has he taken you to the ranch? 1.2796 0.05590 93 71 18 4
1535 I just don't feel grounded any more. 1.2796 0.05795 93 72 16 5
1536 Hey, I totally get you. I'd be upset too if someone mistook me for broccoli when I was a tree. People often mistake me for a psychiatrist. 1.2796 0.06185 93 74 12 7
1537 It's not unusual to fear your own use-by date. 1.2796 0.05376 93 70 20 3
1538 The issue here is that a lot of people are becoming vegetarian. 1.2796 0.05590 93 71 18 4
1539 Feeling left out at Thanksgiving is nothing unusual for broccoli. 1.2793 0.05303 111 86 19 6
1540 When you asked to talk to someone who was familiar with the movie, Roots, did you know it wasn't about transplanted trees?" 1.2793 0.04985 111 84 23 4
1541 Sorry, I just needed to let off some steam. 1.2793 0.04985 111 84 23 4
1542 I know it’s hard for you, hon, but I can’t wait to welcome our little broccolini. 1.2793 0.05147 111 85 21 5
1543 Being called a florette is a perfectly beautiful name. 1.2793 0.04645 111 82 27 2
1544 When did you start stalking? 1.2793 0.04645 111 82 27 2
1545 I know, it's hard to avoid vegans. 1.2791 0.05139 86 63 22 1
1546 No, I don't think you're being a sap. 1.2791 0.04666 129 98 26 5
1547 You are too vegan. 1.2791 0.04399 129 96 30 3
1548 I worry about loosing my hair too 1.2791 0.05398 86 64 20 2
1549 Even presidents hate me! 1.2791 0.06111 86 67 14 5
1550 So what color would you like to be? 1.2791 0.05646 86 65 18 3
1551 I'm not your shrink, I'm your boss and sales are down. Lose the little yellow flowers or Cauliflower gets the Vegan account. 1.2788 0.05372 104 80 19 5
1552 Let's explore why you feel bad that not even a dog will eat you. 1.2788 0.05012 104 78 23 3
1553 I'm gonna go out on a limb here......... 1.2788 0.05195 104 79 21 4
1554 I know it feels like they hate you, but your kids will learn to tolerate you. 1.2788 0.05372 104 80 19 5
1555 But have you tried adding cheese? 1.2788 0.05012 104 78 23 3
1556 You should let your steam out every now and then so you don’t become too soft. 1.2788 0.05012 104 78 23 3
1557 Yes, I think I can appreciate your feelings of rootlessness 1.2788 0.05012 104 78 23 3
1558 I think you should move on. A tree has never won the caption contest, so why keep trying? 1.2788 0.05543 104 81 17 6
1559 I can tell you’re growing. 1.2788 0.05709 104 82 15 7
1560 Being cruciferous is something to be proud of. 1.2788 0.04823 104 77 25 2
1561 So you constantly feel like you're in a vegetative state? 1.2783 0.05174 115 89 20 6
1562 I just wish people would appreciate my whole body and not just my brains 1.2783 0.05174 115 89 20 6
1563 Before we start, when you fell in the forest, do you remember if you made a sound? 1.2783 0.04870 115 87 24 4
1564 I take it you’re not pleased my decision to become vegan. 1.2783 0.05319 115 90 18 7
1565 Commitment phobia or in your case, fear of planting your roots, is very common. 1.2778 0.05067 108 82 22 4
1566 I know I should be thankful, but all day long it's "my eyes are down here". 1.2778 0.05235 108 83 20 5
1567 Yes, those vegans have us all concerned. 1.2778 0.04713 108 80 26 2
1568 See? Leaving the cheese at home isn’t so bad. 1.2778 0.04893 108 81 24 3
1569 I’m sure you can change, if fact, Autumn is almost here. 1.2778 0.05918 90 70 15 5
1570 Sometimes we can’t see the florets for the trees. 1.2778 0.04994 126 98 21 7
1571 Can you think of a time you DID feel wanted before Thanksgiving? 1.2778 0.04733 126 96 25 5
1572 So you believe you're being stalked? 1.2778 0.05918 90 70 15 5
1573 Sorry, but I can't hear you. 1.2778 0.05709 108 86 14 8
1574 A clear case of attachment disorder. Tell me,do you often feel rootless? 1.2778 0.05067 108 82 22 4
1575 I agree, roots are complicated 1.2778 0.05556 108 85 16 7
1576 It's paranoia. You're not being stalked. 1.2778 0.05247 90 67 21 2
1577 Don't worry, I'm sure the New Yorker Cartoon Contest people just didn't receive your submission. 1.2778 0.06126 90 71 13 6
1578 So, you’re feeling depressed because you’re not being hugged enough? 1.2773 0.04762 119 90 25 4
1579 so lets give "arborists only" a try. 1.2773 0.04453 119 88 29 2
1580 It’s quite normal to have a feeling of inadequacy among your spears. 1.2772 0.05472 101 78 18 5
1581 Does every day seem arborous to you? 1.2772 0.05472 101 78 18 5
1582 I just want to find a family with a nice crisper drawer. 1.2772 0.05822 101 80 14 7
1583 Teenagers hate you but babies and adults love you? Relax. This is perfectly normal. 1.2772 0.05097 101 76 22 3
1584 Cauliflower is always gonna think he gets it. 1.2772 0.05288 101 77 20 4
1585 I know fall is a hard time of the year for you 1.2772 0.05097 101 76 22 3
1586 I keep having this dream that I'm being cut up and plunged into boiling water. 1.2771 0.06015 83 64 15 4
1587 Let’s talk about your preoccupation with thinking you’re being stalked. 1.2769 0.04886 130 101 22 7
1588 I’m sorry for what I said when I was hungry. 1.2768 0.05262 112 87 19 6
1589 Of course nobody likes you. You're broccoli. 1.2768 0.05412 112 88 17 7
1590 Plenty of us have to be covered in cheese to be loved. 1.2768 0.05107 112 86 21 5
1591 I think you’re using melted cheese to cover up how you feel about yourself. 1.2768 0.04947 112 85 23 4
1592 How did you feel when she told you to "Make like a tree and leave?" 1.2768 0.05262 112 87 19 6
1593 I hear your resentment of kale. But do you remember why you came to me in the first place? 1.2768 0.05107 112 86 21 5
1594 I’m gonna go out on a limb here and say the knot in your stomach is anxiety and not rabid squirrels. 1.2766 0.05538 94 72 18 4
1595 Look, I want to tell you that your self-loathing is irrational, but I can't in good conscience do that. Everyone hates you. 1.2766 0.05741 94 73 16 5
1596 I'm having a rough time digesting what you're feeding me here. 1.2762 0.05152 105 80 21 4
1597 At least no one can call you a "cabbage head!" 1.2762 0.05152 105 80 21 4
1598 I don’t think you can blame ALL of your problems on President George W. Bush 1.2762 0.04972 105 79 23 3
1599 Yes, Ms. Tree, having the nickname 'Broccoli' must make you steamed, I mean, uh, angry. 1.2762 0.05327 105 81 19 5
1600 What do you expect me to do? I am processing my feelings. There is just too much carbon and gases to absorb. 1.2762 0.05152 105 80 21 4
1601 What's stopping you from appearing in "Finding Your Roots"? 1.2762 0.05661 105 83 15 7
1602 I understand you've been casted for the Green Giant ad, but the method acting is scaring your family. 1.2759 0.05590 87 66 18 3
1603 So you say it's a jungle out there 1.2759 0.04987 116 89 22 5
1604 When did you first notice your potato envy? 1.2759 0.05590 87 66 18 3
1605 So…you want to be liked for who you are not what you are? 1.2759 0.04987 116 89 22 5
1606 I think your out of the woods 1.2759 0.05279 116 91 18 7
1607 When did you first realize you were a vegan? 1.2759 0.05590 87 66 18 3
1608 I'm sorry. I'm not that kind of head shrinker. 1.2756 0.04832 127 98 23 6
1609 At least you’re already green with your envy. 1.2755 0.05186 98 74 21 3
1610 Well, I think we can safely say you’re out of the woods. 1.2755 0.05942 98 78 13 7
1611 OK so you're not kale, get over it! 1.2755 0.05186 98 74 21 3
1612 See, but I don't think squirrels have human voices. 1.2755 0.05186 98 74 21 3
1613 And you don’t believe it’s all in your head? 1.2752 0.05027 109 83 22 4
1614 No color yet. You have to WANT to change. 1.2752 0.04855 109 82 24 3
1615 You can tell me, what’s eating you? 1.2750 0.06156 80 62 14 4
1616 So everyone hates you and you're steamed? 1.2747 0.05649 91 70 17 4
1617 You do have a somewhat wooden affect. 1.2747 0.05649 91 70 17 4
1618 May I have the name of your hairdresser? 1.2747 0.05861 91 71 15 5
1619 We need to continue our work on your stalking tendencies. 1.2747 0.05861 91 71 15 5
1620 How does being steamed, and then having a bit of salt applied to your scalp make you feel? 1.2745 0.04858 102 76 24 2
1621 For some, it's not easy to stop throwing shade. 1.2745 0.05601 102 80 16 6
1622 Frankly, I have macaroni-and-cheese dreams also! 1.2745 0.05054 102 77 22 3
1623 You’re not completely alone in those thoughts, Mr. Cauliflower says he is equally disrespected. 1.2745 0.05242 102 78 20 4
1624 So even though you’re born a tree, you feel like a cruciferous vegetable? 1.2745 0.05424 102 79 18 5
1625 I meant to say "Yes, the Holidays can be stressful", not Hollandaise. 1.2745 0.05054 102 77 22 3
1626 So tell me why you feel more comfortable with "Small Tree" rather than "Big Broccoli". 1.2743 0.05657 113 91 13 9
1627 How do you keep your afro looking so good? 1.2743 0.05067 113 87 21 5
1628 You are being so Brachiocranic! 1.2743 0.04909 113 86 23 4
1629 I want to assure you that not everyone is “all about the florets”. Why, I myself am a long-time stem man. 1.2743 0.05067 113 87 21 5
1630 I know you love the leaf 'do' but you've just got to let go of it. 1.2743 0.05067 113 87 21 5
1631 So your tired of being responsible for world heath. 1.2743 0.04909 113 86 23 4
1632 How's your head? 1.2743 0.04745 113 85 25 3
1633 When did this fear of sour cream dip begin? 1.2742 0.04904 124 96 22 6
1634 I think it would be best to leave and start new roots. 1.2742 0.04485 124 93 28 3
1635 Don't worry about everyone else. What about you? Does broccoli like broccoli 1.2742 0.04768 124 95 24 5
1636 Might I suggest it would be healthier to think of yourself as the forgiving tree? 1.2738 0.06189 84 66 13 5
1637 I have no self-esteam. 1.2737 0.05062 95 71 22 2
1638 It's time for you to be the RECEVING tree. 1.2737 0.05279 95 72 20 3
1639 You look stalked! 1.2737 0.05487 95 73 18 4
1640 Is it realistic to think that being an entrée would solve all of your problems? 1.2737 0.05279 95 72 20 3
1641 Maybe it is time for you to branch out. 1.2737 0.05062 95 71 22 2
1642 Would you happen to have a pillow for my head? The arm of this couch is killing me. 1.2737 0.05881 95 75 14 6
1643 What exactly is it about children that concerns you? 1.2737 0.05487 95 73 18 4
1644 Remember, you were just a sapling back then. 1.2736 0.05110 106 81 21 4
1645 You’re having an existential crisis because no one was there to hear? 1.2736 0.05451 106 83 17 6
1646 Im listening, but you seem reluctant to reveal whether you’re cruciferous or deciduous. 1.2736 0.05283 106 82 19 5
1647 You’re broccoli.. everyone hates you 1.2736 0.05283 106 82 19 5
1648 Which state of being troubles you the most, frozen, steamed, or raw? 1.2735 0.05239 117 92 18 7
1649 SuperFoods are allowed to have CrapDays. 1.2735 0.04949 117 90 22 5
1650 So when will you put down roots? 1.2734 0.04798 128 99 23 6
1651 You should be happy you’re an oak. It’s a lot easier to spell than eucalyptus. 1.2727 0.05766 88 68 16 4
1652 Relax, close your eyes, and remember when you were just an acorn. 1.2727 0.04699 132 102 24 6
1653 You feel Alfredo is smothering you?” 1.2727 0.05116 121 95 19 7
1654 So you say you did fall in the forest? 1.2727 0.04817 110 83 24 3
1655 Please tell me more about this recurring dream where you turn into a bunch of farts? 1.2727 0.06203 88 70 12 6
1656 I think you will need to find a new therapist. Truth be told, I just don't like Broccoli. 1.2727 0.05337 99 76 19 4
1657 Stop stalking me. 1.2727 0.05466 110 87 16 7
1658 It appears the diet-change therapy is working well! 1.2727 0.04987 110 84 22 4
1659 Let’s get to the root of the problem 1.2727 0.04979 121 94 21 6
1660 Before we start, who is your barber? 1.2727 0.05710 99 78 15 6
1661 I don't think your stalking her is going to help anything. 1.2727 0.05988 88 69 14 5
1662 You seem to be overburdened with carbon sequestration. May I suggest seeing a climatologist or possibly an environmentalist 1.2727 0.04987 110 84 22 4
1663 In a sense, we’re all ‘just a side.’ 1.2727 0.05527 99 77 17 5
1664 I need more friends. I'm not sure I can absorb any more carbon, Doc. 1.2727 0.05337 99 76 19 4
1665 But the important thing is that I can hear you NOW. 1.2727 0.04817 110 83 24 3
1666 It's funny you say that about your hair... 1.2727 0.04695 121 92 25 4
1667 Hey I know you! My kids hate you. … To be honest, I’m not a fan either. 1.2719 0.05180 114 89 19 6
1668 We need to get to your roots 1.2718 0.05012 103 78 22 3
1669 So why do feel that children don't like you? 1.2718 0.05012 103 78 22 3
1670 Let's get to the roots of your problem 1.2718 0.05198 103 79 20 4
1671 Just because you think everyone hates you, doesn’t make it true. 1.2718 0.05012 103 78 22 3
1672 Have you considered branching out of your comfort zone? 1.2718 0.05378 103 80 18 5
1673 Why do you think people don't want to hug you? 1.2717 0.05595 92 71 17 4
1674 No one is Stalking you. buttering up? Absolutely! 1.2717 0.05377 92 70 19 3
1675 Your problem is that you are a tree. 1.2717 0.05595 92 71 17 4
1676 A lot of us want to return to our roots. 1.2717 0.05377 92 70 19 3
1677 After steaming, you could control it better with a little butter. 1.2717 0.05804 92 72 15 5
1678 You need to put down roots. 1.2717 0.05595 92 71 17 4
1679 Instead of fearing the steamer, might you not see it as a seven-minute passage to a truer, more uh, flavorful, you? 1.2717 0.05595 92 71 17 4
1680 I don't think dogs have anything against you personally. 1.2716 0.06089 81 63 14 4
1681 Tell me more about the chirpy voices in your head. 1.2716 0.06337 81 64 12 5
1682 Veg out all you want. I was a couch potato for years. 1.2712 0.05058 118 92 20 6
1683 Wow, so it sounds like that really uprooted your life. 1.2712 0.05199 118 93 18 7
1684 How old were you when you first heard about 'shelf-life'? 1.2710 0.05069 107 82 21 4
1685 And after you fell in the forest, tell me, did you feel unheard? 1.2710 0.04892 107 81 23 3
1686 No prescription is going to make others like you. But there's an over the counter device called a deep fryer... 1.2710 0.04892 107 81 23 3
1687 Given your nature, I think the "stalker" charge was inevitable. 1.2710 0.05069 107 82 21 4
1688 I'm curious. When you fell in the forest, did it make a sound? 1.2710 0.05240 107 83 19 5
1689 Everyone may be talking about his crust, but Cauliflower will never top a baked potato like you. 1.2708 0.05231 96 73 20 3
1690 So you're telling me that, when you fell, nobody was around but you made a sound? 1.2708 0.06012 96 77 12 7
1691 Unfortunately, foot-shaming has become a real problem in your community. 1.2708 0.05231 96 73 20 3
1692 Yes, we'll definitely work on finding your roots. 1.2708 0.05231 96 73 20 3
1693 Brock, these feelings you’re having for broccolini are a little concerning. After all, she is your first cousin. 1.2706 0.05891 85 66 15 4
1694 So, you say you fell and nobody heard? 1.2706 0.05648 85 65 17 3
1695 I understand. When did you stop self-identifying as cruciferous? 1.2706 0.05648 85 65 17 3
1696 Frankly, I think you're a most attractive tree and I NEVER said you look like broccoli! 1.2705 0.04804 122 94 23 5
1697 Can you tell me more about your roots? 1.2703 0.04948 111 85 22 4
1698 You know, everyone has that feeling of being stuck in place sometimes. 1.2703 0.04605 111 83 26 2
1699 It's actually normal to feel down after becoming an empty-nester. 1.2703 0.05111 111 86 20 5
1700 You have Desparagus. 1.2703 0.05422 111 88 16 7
1701 I think the problem stems from your roots. 1.2703 0.05111 111 86 20 5
1702 One of my problems is that I hear birds singing in my head all the time. 1.2703 0.06467 74 58 12 4
1703 You remind me of my salad days. 1.2703 0.05269 111 87 18 6
1704 So how did you feel after you fell in the forest and nobody heard you? 1.2700 0.05478 100 78 17 5
1705 I can't discuss previous patients but be thankful you're not kale. 1.2700 0.05660 100 79 15 6
1706 Good session. I'm starting you on grated cheese applied topically and gradually adding butter sauce. 1.2700 0.05291 100 77 19 4
1707 Do you ever feel rootless? 1.2700 0.05478 100 78 17 5
1708 How long will it take to get to the roots of your problem? Let's say three days a week for about seven years." 1.2700 0.05291 100 77 19 4
1709 I got nothing. 1.2700 0.05660 100 79 15 6
1710 That's funny, you don't look Deciduous. 1.2700 0.05291 100 77 19 4
1711 So you say you're a broccoholic?? 1.2700 0.05291 100 77 19 4
1712 Ok…so, you fell in the forest, and then what happened? 1.2697 0.06140 89 71 12 6
1713 People just keep remarking how healthy I am. 1.2697 0.05929 89 70 14 5
1714 I AM here to listen. But I need more from you than a few rustles here and there. 1.2697 0.05243 89 67 20 2
1715 It sounds like you really hated yourself as a kid. 1.2692 0.05505 104 82 16 6
1716 The senior George Bush has sadly passed on, so why do you continue to hold this grudge? 1.2692 0.05505 104 82 16 6
1717 Conditioner might help. 1.2692 0.04970 104 79 22 3
1718 When did all this hugging start to bother you? 1.2692 0.05155 104 80 20 4
1719 Do you realize that covering yourself in cheese is your way if seeking outside validation rather than self approval? 1.2692 0.05505 104 82 16 6
1720 So you want to be a tree in Brooklyn? 1.2689 0.05297 119 95 16 8
1721 First off, a haircut. 1.2688 0.05103 93 70 21 2
1722 I can't tell yet whether you are a fruit tree or a nut tree 1.2688 0.04868 93 69 23 1
1723 Dude, nice hair 1.2688 0.05542 93 72 17 4
1724 There is no chance you are going to become a Louisville Slugger. 1.2685 0.05520 108 86 15 7
1725 Your fear of butter is actually quite rational 1.2685 0.04853 108 82 23 3
1726 And how is your effort to become an avocado working for you? 1.2683 0.04628 123 94 25 4
1727 Sounds like you’ve been sitting on a pile of dirt! 1.2683 0.05501 82 62 18 2
1728 Would you like some cheese? 1.2680 0.05388 97 75 18 4
1729 In my professional opinion, it's good that children don't want to eat you. 1.2680 0.05584 97 76 16 5
1730 And how does that make you feel, to lose all your leaves? 1.2680 0.05584 97 76 16 5
1731 What you have is a fear of putting down roots. 1.2680 0.04973 97 73 22 2
1732 Your feelings of inadequacy seem to be deeply rooted. 1.2680 0.04973 97 73 22 2
1733 Let me give you the truncated version... 1.2679 0.05227 112 88 18 6
1734 I think if you branch out more, people will be more accepting. 1.2679 0.04570 112 84 26 2
1735 OK let's pick up where we left off, you had a bad dream where you were being stalked. 1.2679 0.04909 112 86 22 4
1736 It’s a classic case of cauliflower envy 1.2679 0.05071 112 87 20 5
1737 Then mother said no vegetables- no dessert. 1.2679 0.05071 112 87 20 5
1738 I'm sorry Mr. Broccoli, but you must simply stop thinking of yourself as a tree. 1.2674 0.05830 86 67 15 4
1739 I’m sorry, but I still can’t understand why you broke off your relationship with beef. 1.2674 0.05591 86 66 17 3
1740 So you are here for some treetment? 1.2674 0.05830 86 67 15 4
1741 Deep breath please... for all of us. 1.2674 0.05591 86 66 17 3
1742 Let's talk about your last soy sauce nightmare. 1.2674 0.05078 86 64 21 1
1743 But how can they, if you don’t like yourself? 1.2674 0.06060 86 68 13 5
1744 Would it be comforting to acknowledge that "stalk" has more than one meaning? 1.2673 0.05052 101 77 21 3
1745 You’re talking apples and oranges 1.2673 0.05245 101 78 19 4
1746 I can see this relationship is eating you up 1.2673 0.05052 101 77 21 3
1747 I think we can get to the root cause of your problems. 1.2673 0.05245 101 78 19 4
1748 I did not realize your problems stemmed from your head. 1.2673 0.05610 101 80 15 6
1749 Let’s try to get to the root cause. 1.2672 0.04798 116 89 23 4
1750 Your identity crisis is understandable. I can’t tell if you are a tree or broccoli. 1.2672 0.05101 116 91 19 6
1751 You're making progress. I feel confident you'll see real change by fall. 1.2667 0.05653 90 70 16 4
1752 And your brother E-Coli has not been receptive? 1.2667 0.04929 105 80 22 3
1753 Well, what would "easy being green" look like to you? 1.2667 0.04984 120 94 20 6
1754 And why do you feel that cauliflower has taken over? 1.2667 0.05193 90 68 20 2
1755 Sorry I can't help you. There is no billable code for "Clearcut Anxiety Syndrome." 1.2667 0.05288 105 82 18 5
1756 Frankly, your dreams of being eaten alive are driven by a severe, irrational anxiety. I'm prescribing Prozac and a zesty lemon-garlic vinaigrette" 1.2667 0.05458 105 83 16 6
1757 So you’re feeling raw. Let’s go with that. 1.2667 0.05653 90 70 16 4
1758 How are you doing with branching out? 1.2667 0.04740 105 79 24 2
1759 I think you've got a stalker. 1.2667 0.05428 90 69 18 3
1760 So even in childhood, you didn't like you? 1.2667 0.05193 90 68 20 2
1761 Your inability to become pizza crust does not define you. 1.2667 0.06102 75 58 14 3
1762 You’re not a kid anymore. It’s okay to like yourself. 1.2667 0.04694 120 92 24 4
1763 Talk about what's it's like being yew 1.2667 0.04841 120 93 22 5
1764 So, you're initially firm, but when you get steamed up, you get limp? 1.2667 0.05288 105 82 18 5
1765 Not my area, but I can refer you to the top topiarist in town. 1.2667 0.06102 75 58 14 3
1766 It’s called root cause analysis 1.2667 0.04929 105 80 22 3
1767 Somebody spotted a worm and sent you here to have your head examined 1.2661 0.04634 109 82 25 2
1768 So, you think you're being stalked? 1.2661 0.05475 109 87 15 7
1769 So tell me of this dream where your DNA is spliced with a frog 1.2661 0.05317 109 86 17 6
1770 So what is it that has you so steamed up? 1.2661 0.05155 109 85 19 5
1771 You can’t go everywhere with Cheese, it’s just not healthy. 1.2660 0.05056 94 71 21 2
1772 Would you say you are more depressed in the fall? 1.2660 0.05490 94 73 17 4
1773 It all started with George H. W. Bush....... 1.2660 0.05278 94 72 19 3
1774 I'm going to go out on a limb here. You have to decide what you want to be ... broccoli or tree? 1.2660 0.05056 94 71 21 2
1775 Only a chicken would refer to you as his side dish. 1.2660 0.05695 94 74 15 5
1776 How soon will you be branching out? 1.2660 0.04825 94 70 23 1
1777 But your terror when vegans approach is not irrational." 1.2660 0.05695 94 74 15 5
1778 I believe your ancestors are a bag of mixed nuts. 1.2660 0.05490 94 73 17 4
1779 You know I'm a chef, right? 1.2658 0.06670 79 64 9 6
1780 Frankly, you need to put down roots. 1.2658 0.06165 79 62 13 4
1781 Just imagine life as a cauliflower.... 1.2655 0.05336 113 90 16 7
1782 I think the issue is some early floret anxiety. 1.2655 0.04536 113 85 26 2
1783 Let’s talk about your relationship with birds. 1.2655 0.04536 113 85 26 2
1784 Have I not tree-ed you right? 1.2655 0.05031 113 88 20 5
1785 You seem to feel uprooted. 1.2655 0.04707 113 86 24 3
1786 Can you recall when you first imagined that everyone hates you? 1.2655 0.05336 113 90 16 7
1787 Unfortunately Rootlessness isn’t covered by your insurance…however we have a significant deciduous discount 1.2655 0.04536 113 85 26 2
1788 So you fell in the forest and no one cared. 1.2653 0.05340 98 76 18 4
1789 Well, I believe you. Let's explore the sound you made. 1.2653 0.05340 98 76 18 4
1790 I just feel so raw inside. 1.2653 0.05340 98 76 18 4
1791 So you say you're confused about whether you're a tree or broccoli. 1.2653 0.05533 98 77 16 5
1792 Let’s talk about your roots. 1.2653 0.04930 98 74 22 2
1793 You have to branch out - pack your trunk and leave. 1.2653 0.05720 98 78 14 6
1794 You've shared a lot today Jared, thank you for that raw emotion. 1.2653 0.05139 98 75 20 3
1795 Branching out may work for you. But whatever you decide to do, I'm rooting for you. 1.2652 0.04793 132 104 21 7
1796 Trust me. Changing your name to Rabe will make you bitter. 1.2651 0.06201 83 66 12 5
1797 Yes, I did say to stretch before you leaf. 1.2651 0.05444 83 63 18 2
1798 It's time you branched out. 1.2651 0.05167 83 62 20 1
1799 If you're so healthy, why are you calling yourself "the worst vegetable"? 1.2651 0.05707 83 64 16 3
1800 I always thought I had a good head on my shoulders, Doc, but these days, I just don't know... 1.2651 0.05959 83 65 14 4
1801 So was your mother always deciduous? 1.2651 0.05959 83 65 14 4
1802 Have you tried hugging yourself? 1.2650 0.04763 117 90 23 4
1803 I know it's tough for your social life Mr. Broccoli, but the reality is most people will probably always avoid you. 1.2650 0.04763 117 90 23 4
1804 If you're delusional then why is there sap on my couch? 1.2647 0.05732 102 82 13 7
1805 And steamed here means angry? 1.2647 0.05009 102 78 21 3
1806 How does it make you feel when children say they hate you? 1.2647 0.06498 68 53 12 3
1807 Since Fall is almost here, I’d like a six month retainer. 1.2647 0.05383 102 80 17 5
1808 It's been over 30 years since Bush Sr. brought your career to a halt. You've got to let it go! 1.2647 0.05009 102 78 21 3
1809 I'm wondering when you fell in that forest and you were all alone, if you had the feeling that you weren't making a sound. 1.2647 0.05383 102 80 17 5
1810 I feel like everyone’s trying to cut me down 1.2647 0.04812 102 77 23 2
1811 I sense you're feeling uprooted. 1.2647 0.05009 102 78 21 3
1812 So, the annual sap run has left you drained? 1.2647 0.05200 102 79 19 4
1813 So, you say you’re feeling stalked? 1.2644 0.05771 87 68 15 4
1814 Yes, I'm sure hair care products can be a challenge for you. 1.2644 0.05771 87 68 15 4
1815 Sure, broccoli is good for everyone, but you want to know what's in it for broccoli. 1.2644 0.05535 87 67 17 3
1816 Whoa!Seems to be a deeply rooted problem. 1.2644 0.05288 87 66 19 2
1817 No, no cheese sauce...so many people like you exactly the way you are! 1.2644 0.05535 87 67 17 3
1818 I know I told you to add bulk and fiber but that is ridiculous. 1.2642 0.04889 106 81 22 3
1819 What is it that has you so steamed this week? 1.2642 0.05069 106 82 20 4
1820 Stop worrying about what children think of you. 1.2642 0.05244 106 83 18 5
1821 Looks like you could use a hug. 1.2642 0.05244 106 83 18 5
1822 Are you looking to explore your roots? 1.2642 0.05069 106 82 20 4
1823 I think you'll feel better if you start branching out more. 1.2642 0.05244 106 83 18 5
1824 Is that two "cs" and one 'l?" 1.2642 0.04889 106 81 22 3
1825 Don't you think you should branch out a bit, and give the stalking routine a rest? 1.2640 0.04970 125 99 19 7
1826 Yes, prejudice is a terrible thing. 1.2637 0.05599 91 71 16 4
1827 Stop saying you're a head case. We don't use that term in here. 1.2637 0.05376 91 70 18 3
1828 I understand your anger, but I do ask that you not refer to them as 'birches'. 1.2637 0.05813 91 72 14 5
1829 The important thing is that YOU love your stalk. 1.2637 0.05376 91 70 18 3
1830 I am going to need you to work on your roots 1.2636 0.05274 110 87 17 6
1831 Why don’t you share with me the path you took from sapling to full canopy? 1.2636 0.04948 110 85 21 4
1832 So, You aren't satisfied with your arborist. I think that coif is stunning on you. 1.2636 0.04776 110 84 23 3
1833 Well, to tell you the truth, I have been concerned about some clients stalking me ... 1.2636 0.05274 110 87 17 6
1834 First, you need to unload your foliage and ease your feelings. Think of the fall season and relax! 1.2632 0.04671 114 87 24 3
1835 If a tree lay on my couch and complained, but I zoned out, did it utter a sound? 1.2632 0.05229 95 73 19 3
1836 I have to say, that is quite the head of hair! 1.2632 0.05229 95 73 19 3
1837 Why the wooden expression? 1.2632 0.05439 95 74 17 4
1838 I am sure Groot will have tree friends again 1.2632 0.05439 95 74 17 4
1839 Maybe it's time to branch out. 1.2632 0.05011 95 72 21 2
1840 Have you tried letting off some steam? 1.2632 0.04671 114 87 24 3
1841 No, I don’t know why children do not like you. 1.2627 0.04878 118 92 21 5
1842 It's not your childhood,your problem is you can't see the forest through the trees. 1.2627 0.04572 118 90 25 3
1843 I know, they keep asking if they can touch your hair. 1.2626 0.05292 99 77 18 4
1844 You're just as good without cheese. You know you can't listen to those kids. 1.2626 0.05094 99 76 20 3
1845 It's a bit out of my wheelhouse but I would recommend using a leave-in conditioner followed by an anti-frizz curl quencher. 1.2626 0.05847 99 80 12 7
1846 Why do YOU think kids seem to dislike you? 1.2626 0.05292 99 77 18 4
1847 Did you have any trouble finding a cab? 1.2626 0.04887 99 75 22 2
1848 Tell me more about your mom pouring water on your head in the bathtub. 1.2625 0.05831 80 62 15 3
1849 Why do you feel you have to be as popular as kale? 1.2625 0.05831 80 62 15 3
1850 I'm searching for my roots 1.2625 0.05553 80 61 17 2
1851 Yes,my specialty is psychiatree 1.2625 0.05831 80 62 15 3
1852 So when the guests arrive, let's promise each other we won't keep taking about our HAIR! 1.2623 0.05047 122 97 18 7
1853 You're being paranoid. Not everybody is anti-oxidant. 1.2621 0.05337 103 81 17 5
1854 How does it feel to not be called a 'comfort food?' 1.2621 0.05155 103 80 19 4
1855 They chewed me up and spat me out. 1.2621 0.05337 103 81 17 5
1856 Anxiety about your back, huh? If I say lumbar, you think..? 1.2621 0.05337 103 81 17 5
1857 Try this affirmation: "I'm not broccoli. I'm a tree. I'm uprooted, but I'm free." 1.2619 0.05648 84 65 16 3
1858 I think you’re suffering from kale envy. 1.2619 0.05648 84 65 16 3
1859 When did the 'stalking' begin? 1.2619 0.05115 84 63 20 1
1860 Ignore that small stuff, Broc. You're going to wilt in 3 days. 1.2617 0.05367 107 85 16 6
1861 Your bitterness is definitely rooted in childhood. 1.2617 0.05028 107 83 20 4
1862 Feelings of abandonment are tough, but our goal is to not let them consume you. 1.2614 0.05937 88 70 13 5
1863 It's good to aspire to greatness, but the market is very small for giant broccoli. 1.2614 0.04711 88 65 23 0
1864 When did you decide to become a vegetarian? 1.2614 0.05937 88 70 13 5
1865 So you fell in the forest, but you don't feel heard? 1.2614 0.05713 88 69 15 4
1866 Well, I like your haircut. 1.2614 0.05480 88 68 17 3
1867 I use Brylcreem to manage my doo. 1.2613 0.04739 111 85 23 3
1868 I'm sorry, but I think you have carrot envy 1.2613 0.04563 111 84 25 2
1869 She said I give off stalker vibes 1.2613 0.04739 111 85 23 3
1870 What a coincidence! Being covered in cheese is my worst fear, too. 1.2613 0.05073 111 87 19 5
1871 After your analysis you’ll definitely be able to see the forest for the trees. 1.2613 0.04563 111 84 25 2
1872 Yes, you're short and look like a stalk of broccoli, but that doesn't mean you any less of a tree. 1.2613 0.04739 111 85 23 3
1873 I'm sure you don't give everyone gas. 1.2609 0.04954 115 90 20 5
1874 I see, you’re feeling VERY uprooted. 1.2609 0.05545 92 72 16 4
1875 In your case, I think you do need to be more grounded in order to achieve personal growth 1.2609 0.05545 92 72 16 4
1876 I wish I had some paper to write down your thoughts. 1.2609 0.05756 92 73 14 5
1877 Seems like that’s the stem of all your problems. 1.2609 0.05325 92 71 18 3
1878 So…you couldn’t find the forest? 1.2609 0.05096 92 70 20 2
1879 Do you feel that underlying your recent self doubt is the popularity of kale? 1.2609 0.04856 92 69 22 1
1880 I understand you are tired of being green and healthy but you’ll just have to accept it. 1.2609 0.05960 92 74 12 6
1881 It's time to start thinking about having a broccolini. 1.2609 0.05096 92 70 20 2
1882 ...so how do you feel when she calls you a couch potato? 1.2609 0.05325 92 71 18 3
1883 You went from farm to table. Now what? 1.2609 0.05960 92 74 12 6
1884 I would venture to say that you are in a healthy head space. 1.2605 0.04213 119 89 29 1
1885 You have so much more to offer than just your florets. 1.2604 0.05389 96 75 17 4
1886 It must be difficult to have to hold up the whole tree. 1.2604 0.05589 96 76 15 5
1887 Let's get to the root of it all. 1.2604 0.04966 96 73 21 2
1888 Why don’t you tell me about your roots. 1.2604 0.04740 96 72 23 1
1889 I know this is hard. Just remember, you’re mahogany 1.2604 0.05182 96 74 19 3
1890 So you have had relationships with climbers, huggers, and others that just want to cut you down, is that right? 1.2604 0.05182 96 74 19 3
1891 You have to love yourself first. 1.2604 0.05589 96 76 15 5
1892 My parents were nuts. 1.2604 0.05389 96 75 17 4
1893 I believe your fear of cheese can be traced to your roots. 1.2600 0.05245 100 78 18 4
1894 You say that kids don't like you, and you have frequent nightmares about being cooked and eaten—just how often are those nightmares? 1.2600 0.05049 100 77 20 3
1895 Stalking is actually a very normal behavior for patients like you. 1.2600 0.05049 100 77 20 3
1896 I'm sorry Bill, but I did advise you against the implants 1.2600 0.05049 100 77 20 3
1897 Why do you feel like I'm going to bite your head off? 1.2600 0.05435 100 79 16 5
1898 Consider just for a moment that you are a superfood. 1.2600 0.05617 100 80 14 6
1899 George W. Bush is hardly in a position to dictate your self-esteem! 1.2597 0.05669 77 59 16 2
1900 Sounds like your parents were not of the garden variety. 1.2597 0.05963 77 60 14 3
1901 Well you're NO couch potato, that's for sure! 1.2596 0.05796 104 85 11 8
1902 So you feel like you're being stalked? 1.2596 0.04926 104 80 21 3
1903 Little tree? Big broccoli? It doesn't matter. What matters is how you feel about being green. 1.2596 0.05291 104 82 17 5
1904 No really, I think green is your color. 1.2593 0.05323 108 86 16 6
1905 So you attribute the start of your low sense of self-esteem to when the 41st President claimed he hated broccoli? 1.2593 0.04810 108 83 22 3
1906 At least now you've realized that your problem extends across your entire family tree. 1.2593 0.05483 108 87 14 7
1907 No, you're right, everyone does hate you. 1.2589 0.04702 112 86 23 3
1908 And how does it make you feel, discovering that you are even less liked then Brussel sprouts? 1.2589 0.04702 112 86 23 3
1909 I think you need to start branching out more. 1.2589 0.05033 112 88 19 5
1910 That must have been difficult for you - coming from the ground up. 1.2589 0.05033 112 88 19 5
1911 Tell me about your sprouthood. 1.2588 0.06070 85 68 12 5
1912 The holidays are awful if you aren't a Christmas tree. 1.2588 0.05333 85 65 18 2
1913 I keep dreaming about finding my roots. 1.2588 0.05589 85 66 16 3
1914 It's not a complex. You ARE a broccolo. 1.2588 0.05333 85 65 18 2
1915 As original as your song might seem, "Its Not Easy Being Green" has been taken. 1.2588 0.05333 85 65 18 2
1916 We'll join the other trees in grief group after our session. 1.2588 0.05589 85 66 16 3
1917 I know I'd be good for him-- but he just doesn't care. 1.2588 0.05589 85 66 16 3
1918 Imagine how a dentist feels. 1.2586 0.05066 116 92 18 6
1919 Yea, look, it's fall and you need to let it go. 1.2584 0.05185 89 68 19 2
1920 Are you saying you don't understand why your cheese sauce has rejected you?? 1.2584 0.05426 89 69 17 3
1921 Maybe it's time to establish some roots. 1.2584 0.05426 89 69 17 3
1922 So you are saying you identify as a vegetable?” 1.2584 0.05185 89 68 19 2
1923 Broccoli or tree: only you have the power to determine who you are. 1.2584 0.05656 89 70 15 4
1924 Some patients do complain about their family tree, but not about their tree family. I think you need a tree doctor. 1.2584 0.05878 89 71 13 5
1925 You're still raw. 1.2581 0.04811 93 70 22 1
1926 Have you thought about getting back to your roots? 1.2581 0.04416 124 95 26 3
1927 When I said 'Be a Tree', I just wanted you to leave. 1.2581 0.04841 124 98 20 6
1928 I said cruciferous,not vociferous. A little sensitive,are we? 1.2581 0.05275 93 72 18 3
1929 Mr. Broccoli, it's mainly in your head. 1.2581 0.04562 124 96 24 4
1930 Your reoccurring nightmare that it won't grow back is very common at your age 1.2581 0.05048 93 71 20 2
1931 These chainsaw dreams . . . can we take a minute to work on them? 1.2581 0.05701 93 74 14 5
1932 Before we begin,I just want you to know that I hated you as a child. How does that make you feel? 1.2581 0.05492 93 73 16 4
1933 So true. It isn’t easy being green 1.2581 0.05701 93 74 14 5
1934 How long have you feared woods that are lovely, dark and deep? 1.2581 0.05701 93 74 14 5
1935 Ok, and how's the head goin'? 1.2581 0.04704 124 97 22 5
1936 Making friends with more liberals might make your life feel more validated . 1.2577 0.05913 97 79 11 7
1937 Please don't take what dogs do personally. 1.2577 0.05340 97 76 17 4
1938 Being a vegetarian, it would be unethical for me to offer any advice 1.2577 0.05135 97 75 19 3
1939 Let's see if we can find the root of your problems. 1.2577 0.05913 97 79 11 7
1940 Leaves fall, they grow back. That's adulthood. 1.2577 0.05340 97 76 17 4
1941 You should probably talk to a doctor at our branch office. 1.2577 0.05135 97 75 19 3
1942 Look, it's your couch, but it's my TV, and I'm going to watch The Iron Chef! 1.2577 0.05538 97 77 15 5
1943 You’ve lived a long, full life. It’s time to branch out. 1.2577 0.05728 97 78 13 6
1944 We need to branch out more to get to the root of your problem. 1.2574 0.04593 101 76 24 1
1945 There's really no cause for concern, the lumberjack with a chainsaw nightmare is a fairly common phenomenon. 1.2574 0.05200 101 79 18 4
1946 It's not you. It's the children. 1.2574 0.05006 101 78 20 3
1947 So your friends call you a fruit? 1.2574 0.05567 101 81 14 6
1948 You're being paranoid again. No one's trying to boil you alive. 1.2574 0.05006 101 78 20 3
1949 No, it doesn't necessarily mean you're jealous. 1.2571 0.05418 105 84 15 6
1950 Some people just don't appreciate your benefits to them. 1.2571 0.04286 105 78 27 0
1951 I’m stumped too. 1.2571 0.04694 105 80 23 2
1952 Isn’t it enough that YOU know you graduated from Stanford University? 1.2571 0.05069 105 82 19 4
1953 First we must address your fear of becoming a vegetable. 1.2571 0.05246 105 83 17 5
1954 And why do you think you're having problems putting down roots? 1.2569 0.04947 109 85 20 4
1955 I believe your problems stem from being uprooted 1.2569 0.04947 109 85 20 4
1956 I would suggest drinking more water. 1.2569 0.04591 109 83 24 2
1957 Therapy is supposed to be raw. 1.2566 0.04993 113 89 19 5
1958 Look, I get it. Sometimes the climate just changes you. 1.2566 0.05149 113 90 17 6
1959 It is my professional opinion that your fear of peanut butter is holding back your popularity. 1.2566 0.04494 113 86 25 2
1960 She says you’re all bark and no bite. 1.2564 0.06171 78 62 12 4
1961 There’s nothing I can do. Either move from Vermont to a different climate or you’ll be bald by mid November. 1.2564 0.05172 117 94 16 7
1962 I'm sorry your teacher quoted Shakespeare, but 'Uneasy is the head that wears the crown' was not about you. 1.2564 0.05605 78 60 16 2
1963 I am going to refer you to and ENT specialist. 1.2564 0.05895 78 61 14 3
1964 So, let’s go back to the nursery… 1.2564 0.05895 78 61 14 3
1965 You’re tall for a broccoli. Ever play basketball? 1.2562 0.04625 121 94 23 4
1966 Let me guess-you feel stumped by your neighbors. 1.2561 0.05151 82 62 19 1
1967 The conifers are not laughing at you, leaffall is a part of your life. 1.2561 0.05706 82 64 15 3
1968 Unfortunately, some people will probably always find you bitter. 1.2558 0.05279 86 66 18 2
1969 I think it's fine for you to come in here and let off some steam 1.2558 0.05279 86 66 18 2
1970 Do you think stalking is healthy behavior? 1.2558 0.05774 86 68 14 4
1971 Who says a broccoli can’t play “Annie” ? 1.2558 0.05774 86 68 14 4
1972 I think it's time to turn over a new leaf. 1.2558 0.06006 86 69 12 5
1973 It's a well known fact, it isn't easy being green 1.2556 0.05819 90 72 13 5
1974 The steam room dream again, huh? 1.2556 0.05373 90 70 17 3
1975 Losing your leaves is seasonal, the leaves will grow back. 1.2556 0.05135 90 69 19 2
1976 I don't care what the toddlers think, what do YOU think about you? 1.2556 0.05135 90 69 19 2
1977 We've discussed this before, heavy is the head that wears the crown. 1.2556 0.05373 90 70 17 3
1978 So, tell me about your saplings. 1.2556 0.05600 90 71 15 4
1979 While I appreciate your discomfort regarding this issue, I am going to need at least one piece of paper to take notes 1.2556 0.05819 90 72 13 5
1980 Well, you Are green . .and you Can be jolly . .two out of three isn't bad . . . 1.2553 0.05226 94 73 18 3
1981 Maybe you should branch out more 1.2553 0.05226 94 73 18 3
1982 Arbor Day blues? 1.2553 0.05647 94 75 14 5
1983 It's not a delusion, Olive. 1.2553 0.05226 94 73 18 3
1984 Have you ever tried taking a step back to look at the whole forest? 1.2553 0.05440 94 74 16 4
1985 So when stress comes, you're not cool as a cucumber. 1.2553 0.05647 94 75 14 5
1986 It's not alopecia; it's autumn. 1.2553 0.05647 94 75 14 5
1987 You should strive to feel comfortable in your own bark. 1.2553 0.05002 94 72 20 2
1988 Nobody likes me. 1.2551 0.05676 98 79 13 6
1989 I think you’re wrong. Brussels sprouts and cauliflower are the ones that nobody likes anymore. 1.2551 0.05487 98 78 15 5
1990 So why do you feel your family uprooted you ? 1.2551 0.05487 98 78 15 5
1991 Maybe you should branch out. 1.2551 0.05089 98 76 19 3
1992 I understand that you think your family is 'nuts' but we don't use that word here. 1.2551 0.05676 98 79 13 6
1993 Really, the cauliflower rice craze is waning. Your time is coming. 1.2551 0.05292 98 77 17 4
1994 Of course, there's more to you than just your florets." 1.2551 0.05858 98 80 11 7
1995 At what point, Daffodil, did you first regret the surgery? 1.2549 0.05340 102 81 16 5
1996 Sorry. I don't hug. 1.2549 0.05340 102 81 16 5
1997 Mr. Oakley, let's talk about that chip on your shoulder you have about climate change. 1.2549 0.05340 102 81 16 5
1998 I don't know whether to criticize your afro for cultural appropriation or to congratulate you for being so green. 1.2549 0.04963 102 79 20 3
1999 You have to try to find your inner peas. 1.2547 0.05027 106 83 19 4
2000 So you think that Cauliflower is beginning to overshadow you? 1.2547 0.04655 106 81 23 2
2001 You can't see the forest for the trees. 1.2547 0.05027 106 83 19 4
2002 Just be thankful you're not an asparagus! 1.2547 0.05027 106 83 19 4
2003 So you are here because you’re concerned about the collapse of the stalk market? 1.2547 0.04845 106 82 21 3
2004 You can wear fashionable decor during the winter. Your crowning glory will return in the spring. 1.2547 0.04655 106 81 23 2
2005 We both know nothing will matter until we get to the root of the problem. 1.2547 0.04845 106 82 21 3
2006 Tell me why you feel so rootless. 1.2545 0.04907 110 86 20 4
2007 Your condition has me completely stumped. 1.2545 0.04907 110 86 20 4
2008 How did you feel when she said you were 'sappy'? 1.2545 0.04907 110 86 20 4
2009 Every day is a bad hair day!! 1.2544 0.04955 114 90 19 5
2010 It’s absolutely appropriate for you to feel unrooted. 1.2544 0.04631 114 88 23 3
2011 You need to branch out into new directions 1.2542 0.04533 118 91 24 3
2012 To be quite honest, Betty, I never did like you. 1.2540 0.04638 126 99 22 5
2013 I'm just as stumped as you! 1.2532 0.06361 79 64 10 5
2014 I think you’ve lost your roots. 1.2532 0.06361 79 64 10 5
2015 Which makes you feel better about yourself - ranch or blue? 1.2532 0.05544 79 61 16 2
2016 I just want to be more memorable. You know...like asparagus. 1.2532 0.06361 79 64 10 5
2017 To be honest, we've both been throwing shade. 1.2530 0.05899 83 66 13 4
2018 Would you like some water ? 1.2530 0.05899 83 66 13 4
2019 I think you have a severe case of separation anxiety. 1.2530 0.05098 83 63 19 1
2020 I want you to try to understand that it's not your fault Bob heated you up in the office microwave. 1.2529 0.05715 87 69 14 4
2021 How long have you had these fears of becoming board? 1.2529 0.05476 87 68 16 3
2022 Often times it helps to be with those who suffer from the same thing. Have you thought about befriending peas and carrots? 1.2529 0.05226 87 67 18 2
2023 I'm happy to provide free advice for a small piece of your head. It looks delicious. 1.2527 0.05086 91 70 19 2
2024 Everyone hates me. 1.2527 0.05321 91 71 17 3
2025 Have you considered becoming a carnivore? 1.2527 0.05546 91 72 15 4
2026 THAT CONDITIONER REALLY WORKS 1.2527 0.05321 91 71 17 3
2027 Oh, it’s not just you. PTSD after deforestation is very common. 1.2527 0.04581 91 68 23 0
2028 Yes, but have you considered branching out a bit more? 1.2527 0.05321 91 71 17 3
2029 I don’t think you should read *anything* into her ordering beef with broccoli. 1.2527 0.05546 91 72 15 4
2030 There is a difference between thinking you are being stalked and being a stalk. 1.2526 0.05177 95 74 18 3
2031 Have you considered simply peeing back on them? 1.2526 0.05980 95 78 10 7
2032 You can't run away from your roots. 1.2526 0.04956 95 73 20 2
2033 i feel like i don't belong here , I'm having strong issues regarding my roots in this city life . 1.2526 0.05177 95 74 18 3
2034 So tell me why you're steamed? 1.2526 0.05177 95 74 18 3
2035 You say you've felt rootless lately? 1.2526 0.05389 95 75 16 4
2036 Well, wouldn't you expect to get a little depressed in the fall? 1.2526 0.05177 95 74 18 3
2037 I’ve got to warn you, I’m a tree hugger. 1.2526 0.05177 95 74 18 3
2038 O.K., so a lot of people don’t like dogs … 1.2525 0.05044 99 77 19 3
2039 Overwhelmed Doc, everyone wants a piece of me 1.2525 0.05438 99 79 15 5
2040 Let’s explore why you think nobody likes you. 1.2525 0.05245 99 78 17 4
2041 I'd give anything to have green hair! 1.2525 0.05044 99 77 19 3
2042 I bet you let all the boys count your rings. 1.2525 0.05044 99 77 19 3
2043 These bullies keep calling me E.Coli” 1.2525 0.05245 99 78 17 4
2044 Can I touch your hair? 1.2525 0.05044 99 77 19 3
2045 I get you feel ugly but at least people like you more than your brother. 1.2525 0.04836 99 76 21 2
2046 You're o.k.--just because you're a stalk doesn't make you a stalker. 1.2525 0.05245 99 78 17 4
2047 I feel like somebody is stalking me. 1.2524 0.05293 103 82 16 5
2048 All the other trees feel good about being green. 1.2524 0.05110 103 81 18 4
2049 So, in the dream, a kid leverages your emotional dependency until you are left only a stump? 1.2524 0.04723 103 79 22 2
2050 Leave. 1.2524 0.05110 103 81 18 4
2051 Well here we are , and I have always fancied Marge Simpson .. 1.2524 0.05293 103 82 16 5
2052 It seems you've been uprooted... 1.2524 0.05110 103 81 18 4
2053 Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean you're not being followed by people with chain saws. 1.2523 0.04985 107 84 19 4
2054 You shouldn't be so sad. Carrot and corn may be gaining on you, but you're still the most popular vegetable. 1.2523 0.04519 111 85 24 2
2055 Of course you have good taste. 1.2522 0.04759 115 90 21 4
2056 You've been mired in self-loathing and lack of self-esteem since the Bush-1 years. It's time to snap out of it. 1.2522 0.05069 115 92 17 6
2057 My advice: put down roots. 1.2522 0.04596 115 89 23 3
2058 Don't blame yourself - it's their problem when they say they hate the stalk, not yours. 1.2521 0.04339 119 91 26 2
2059 And why did you decide to move to Brooklyn in the first place? 1.2521 0.04952 119 95 18 6
2060 If you don’t work on yourself, you can’t have dessert. 1.2500 0.05960 76 60 13 3
2061 Why do you say people don’t like you? 1.2500 0.04944 108 85 19 4
2062 Mr. Sycamore, I suggest you spend less time fixating on your name. 1.2500 0.05175 88 68 18 2
2063 Try to remember that they're just kids. They don't understand that words hurt. 1.2500 0.05483 80 62 16 2
2064 I think we need to talk about your empty nest syndrome. 1.2500 0.04794 100 77 21 2
2065 A tree? No, I think you look more like penne and broccoli. 1.2500 0.04879 104 81 20 3
2066 So tell me about your relationship with cauliflower… 1.2500 0.05339 96 76 16 4
2067 Have you considered branching out? 1.2500 0.04879 104 81 20 3
2068 Look at it this way: You're better off than Ash. 1.2500 0.04916 88 67 20 1
2069 Why is it so important that everyone likes you? 1.2500 0.05198 100 79 17 4
2070 You think you have problems, I had brussel sprout in here last week and let me tell you... 1.2500 0.05837 84 67 13 4
2071 I just want kids to like me. 1.2500 0.06101 88 72 10 6
2072 Boy, you sure are steamed today, aren't you?! 1.2500 0.05175 88 68 18 2
2073 Ok, so just a little off the top? 1.2500 0.05389 100 80 15 5
2074 And how did being cut from the rest of the head make you feel? 1.2500 0.05657 88 70 14 4
2075 I didn't see you fall in the forest, but I do hear you. 1.2500 0.05837 84 67 13 4
2076 First he calls me Spinach then he's like, this is a child mind you, to hell with it! 1.2500 0.04722 116 91 21 4
2077 I can identify with you. I'm an Afro-Vegan. 1.2500 0.05506 72 55 16 1
2078 I was all alone in the forest when I fell… 1.2500 0.05421 88 69 16 3
2079 I have heard that it's not easy being green. 1.2500 0.04879 104 81 20 3
2080 Many of my deciduous clients experience seasonal evergreen envy 1.2500 0.05657 88 70 14 4
2081 Let's first explore family roots before we discuss your fear of wood chippers. 1.2500 0.06033 80 64 12 4
2082 I haven’t been the same since the Bush presidency! 1.2500 0.04879 116 92 19 5
2083 Have you considered ranch dressing? 1.2500 0.05130 96 75 18 3
2084 I think you may have a cruciferous complex. 1.2500 0.05764 80 63 14 3
2085 So you’re having fantasies of a three way with garlic and pasta? 1.2500 0.05923 96 79 10 7
2086 You say you believe you're being...stalked? 1.2500 0.05492 92 73 15 4
2087 So why do you want to be an Oscar Meyer weiner? 1.2500 0.05198 100 79 17 4
2088 I see your tension. You're collared green but they still call you broccoli. 1.2500 0.04794 100 77 21 2
2089 No, they really are out to get you. 1.2500 0.05492 92 73 15 4
2090 Are you oak A? 1.2500 0.05038 92 71 19 2
2091 Look who's calling who on a bad hair day. 1.2500 0.05248 104 83 16 5
2092 ''You just cannot forget that U.S. president ''! 1.2500 0.05130 96 75 18 3
2093 So, in that dream where you're being stalked, do you think it could be about you? 1.2500 0.04911 96 74 20 2
2094 I've uprooted the stem of the issue. You're simply green with envy of your partner. 1.2500 0.05116 108 86 17 5
2095 Having my hair doesn’t make you my dad. 1.2500 0.05657 88 70 14 4
2096 So when did your fears of deforestation begin? 1.2500 0.06033 80 64 12 4
2097 With that attitude nobody will like you 1.2500 0.05270 92 72 17 3
2098 Typically,you're not the type of head I shrink. 1.2500 0.05735 96 78 12 6
2099 Let's start when you were a sapling. You say you were water-stressed. How did that make you feel? 1.2500 0.04480 104 79 24 1
2100 You told me you were deciduous. 1.2500 0.05705 92 74 13 5
2101 No, you're not crazy or delusional, Mr. Broccoli. It's true. No one likes you. 1.2500 0.04994 112 89 18 5
2102 Tell me more about your fears of broccolini surpassing you. 1.2500 0.05067 104 82 18 4
2103 I don't know if your broccoli or a tree either. It really doesn't matter. The real issue is why am I treating plants? 1.2500 0.05657 88 70 14 4
2104 I know you feel uprooted, but how bad can city life be? 1.2500 0.05837 84 67 13 4
2105 Why is it you don't think you are lovelier than a poem? 1.2500 0.05175 88 68 18 2
2106 I'm glad to see you branching out. 1.2500 0.05837 84 67 13 4
2107 Of course it was hurtful when George H.W. Bush said he didn't like you. 1.2500 0.05283 108 87 15 6
2108 Okay, I've gotten rid of all the craftsman pieces. Are you comfortable now? 1.2500 0.05541 96 77 14 5
2109 Tell me when did you first become aware that you were afraid of being cooked. 1.2500 0.05339 96 76 16 4
2110 I prevent global warming. I don't know why that's not enough for them... 1.2500 0.05270 92 72 17 3
2111 But Frank you can never be a Christmas Tree you're Jewish... 1.2500 0.05492 92 73 15 4
2112 It's been 31 years since the President put me down, and I just never have been able to get up again. 1.2500 0.05248 104 83 16 5
2113 It’s hard to see the forest for a tree. 1.2500 0.05585 84 66 15 3
2114 So, you say, you feel raw inside? 1.2500 0.05067 104 82 18 4
2115 When they said you were in a vegetative state, I didn't realize that they were serious. 1.2482 0.04608 137 110 20 7
2116 So when did you become embittered? 1.2479 0.05018 121 98 16 7
2117 Go ahead, let it all hang out. 1.2478 0.04792 113 89 20 4
2118 If you're self-conscious about the smell, maybe you should just avoid hot showers 1.2477 0.04904 109 86 19 4
2119 kids can be so cruel. 1.2477 0.04544 109 84 23 2
2120 In order to get your phloem flowing again,you'll need to reconnect with your roots. 1.2477 0.04904 109 86 19 4
2121 So you don’t want to be put in a tree museum? 1.2477 0.04728 109 85 21 3
2122 You're not being stalked. You ARE a stalk. 1.2477 0.05074 109 87 17 5
2123 What's wrong, I'm green and I have an afro. 1.2477 0.04728 109 85 21 3
2124 So... How things been, since you've been Genetically Modified? 1.2477 0.04904 109 86 19 4
2125 I know I sound paranoid, but everyone hates me. 1.2476 0.05024 105 83 18 4
2126 We don't always want what is good for us. 1.2476 0.04838 105 82 20 3
2127 It seems you are suffering from a slight case of broccolini envy. 1.2476 0.04444 105 80 24 1
2128 So even though you are broccoli, you don’t like broccoli. 1.2476 0.05024 105 83 18 4
2129 But you are outstanding in your field... 1.2476 0.05203 105 84 16 5
2130 I'm sure it's not easy being green. 1.2475 0.05341 101 81 15 5
2131 So you find it awkward when people hug you? 1.2475 0.05700 101 83 11 7
2132 Firstly, you're not nuts. 1.2475 0.04956 101 79 19 3
2133 I sense you are easily getting steamed and perhaps a little cheesed off with your friends. You need to take stalk of your life, and find time to smell the florets… 1.2475 0.05152 101 80 17 4
2134 So, what’s in your head? 1.2475 0.05152 101 80 17 4
2135 You’re depressed because you learned you don’t cure cancer? 1.2475 0.04956 101 79 19 3
2136 Everyone used to hate me, and now they all hate Kale. It’s not fair, I’m just as disgusting 1.2475 0.05152 101 80 17 4
2137 I can see through your branches 1.2474 0.04867 97 75 20 2
2138 Too much growth is a new one for me, but I'll do my best. 1.2474 0.05290 97 77 16 4
2139 You claim you're fried, but to me you look steamed. 1.2474 0.05083 97 76 18 3
2140 I can’t figure out if I’m a growing tree or a large broccoli spear 1.2474 0.04867 97 75 20 2
2141 We regret to inform you that you are a vegetable. 1.2474 0.05083 97 76 18 3
2142 I understand your objection to steaming, but why are you anxious about stir-frying? 1.2474 0.05083 97 76 18 3
2143 So your telling me you're jealous of Carrot Top? 1.2474 0.05490 97 78 14 5
2144 Is it worse thinking that your head looks like a nuclear explosion or knowing that you'll be a vegetable for the rest of your life? 1.2473 0.05439 93 74 15 4
2145 So, how long has it been since you've been cross-pollinated? 1.2473 0.05650 93 75 13 5
2146 Trust me, you are a tree and not a broccoli. 1.2473 0.05650 93 75 13 5
2147 So, you sprouted in Brussels and now you don't know what to make of yourself! 1.2473 0.05220 93 73 17 3
2148 If you would, allow me to go out on a limb here... 1.2473 0.05439 93 74 15 4
2149 You do so much for others, but what do you do for you? 1.2473 0.04991 93 72 19 2
2150 Why not just wait until the fall? 1.2473 0.05220 93 73 17 3
2151 So you’re from Brooklyn? 1.2472 0.05600 89 71 14 4
2152 So let's see if we can get to the root of your problems. 1.2472 0.05367 89 70 16 3
2153 Let’s stop giving salad the power to detract from what you did for melted cheese. 1.2472 0.05367 89 70 16 3
2154 If it makes you feel any better, my kids hate ME too. 1.2472 0.05600 89 71 14 4
2155 When did you first feel this desire to be the subject of someone's craving? 1.2471 0.05775 85 68 13 4
2156 Today is about you, we’ll get back to cauliflower next session. 1.2471 0.06241 85 70 9 6
2157 So, let's pick back up with your fears around becoming a father when you can't seem to get kids to like you. 1.2471 0.04995 85 65 19 1
2158 It is natural to feel uprooted when you are ungrounded. 1.2471 0.06013 85 69 11 5
2159 Indeed, most trees do not see a therapist, but this doesn’t make you less of a tree 1.2471 0.05527 85 67 15 3
2160 Of course we can move to the country if that's what it takes to make you happy. 1.2471 0.05775 85 68 13 4
2161 Honey, I'm really quite concerned; your bark is much worse than your blight. 1.2471 0.06241 85 70 9 6
2162 Do you really talk to each other? 1.2471 0.05268 85 66 17 2
2163 Turns out I am what I eat. 1.2471 0.06241 85 70 9 6
2164 This boy who keeps taking your apples and branches... Have you considered the possibility that you're enabling him? 1.2471 0.06013 85 69 11 5
2165 You can’t blame people…you’re very fibrous. 1.2469 0.05131 81 62 18 1
2166 It happens a lot in December. Tinsel envy. 1.2469 0.05424 81 63 16 2
2167 I know you would like to pass for human, but the whole no arms, no clothes, all green vibe is just not going to fly 1.2469 0.05701 81 64 14 3
2168 It is not paranoia; you are hard to digest. 1.2469 0.05966 81 65 12 4
2169 Why do you think your mother was steamed? 1.2469 0.05701 81 64 14 3
2170 Why do you feel your poems are not inspiring? 1.2469 0.05966 81 65 12 4
2171 If you weren't a tree, what sort of tree wouldn't you be? 1.2469 0.05966 81 65 12 4
2172 I think you really need to give Kale a chance. She’s good for you too. 1.2469 0.06219 81 66 10 5
2173 It sounds like you can't see the forest for the trees 1.2468 0.05280 77 59 17 1
2174 I’m sorry, but a loveseat broccoli won’t unseat a couch potato. 1.2468 0.05280 77 59 17 1
2175 I'm going to go ahead and decrease your prescription. 1.2468 0.06175 77 62 11 4
2176 As you requested I’m not keeping a log. 1.2468 0.05891 77 61 13 3
2177 look dude, it is only a brocoli salad, nothing to get bummed out about. 1.2464 0.05986 69 54 13 2
2178 It’s often useful to start with your sapling years. 1.2455 0.05033 110 88 17 5
2179 Not everyone hates you, Broc. 1.2455 0.04865 110 87 19 4
2180 Songbirds and squirrels and kids, oh my! 1.2455 0.04690 110 86 21 3
2181 Yeah, when I was a kid, my parents threated me with cheese sauce too. 1.2453 0.04798 106 83 20 3
2182 I think your situation has you stumped. 1.2453 0.05159 106 85 16 5
2183 With a head like that on your shoulders, you'll be a standout in any salad. 1.2453 0.05159 106 85 16 5
2184 You have a truncated diagnosis. 1.2451 0.04914 102 80 19 3
2185 You should not feel guilty, you are only one tree, there is only so much carbon you can pull out of the air. 1.2451 0.05294 102 82 15 5
2186 And you say he wanted to kiss you between the limbs??? 1.2451 0.04914 102 80 19 3
2187 Well, it's not easy being green 1.2451 0.05107 102 81 17 4
2188 Say cheese, let it out! 1.2451 0.05474 102 83 13 6
2189 Uhhh... Have you listened to the song 'It's Not Easy Being Green?' 1.2451 0.04914 102 80 19 3
2190 Is Jen still telling the kids to eat you? 1.2451 0.05107 102 81 17 4
2191 So, if you find your ancestral roots, you'll research your family tree? 1.2451 0.05107 102 81 17 4
2192 I always get blamed for throwing shade. 1.2449 0.05037 98 77 18 3
2193 We could have just FaceTimed. 1.2449 0.05242 98 78 16 4
2194 So you're saying that you did fall far from the tree. 1.2449 0.05037 98 77 18 3
2195 I told you my thing with Kale is over. 1.2449 0.04824 98 76 20 2
2196 Deciduous or not, I think you'd be a great Christmas tree. 1.2449 0.05242 98 78 16 4
2197 I just can’t seem to shake off this overwhelming feeling of doom 1.2449 0.05242 98 78 16 4
2198 Don’t give it oxygen. 1.2449 0.05242 98 78 16 4
2199 I know, you think everyone looks at you and wonders ‘how many square feet, how many BTU’s?’ Not one appreciates your innate charm and your keen sense of humor. 1.2449 0.05242 98 78 16 4
2200 I’m sure your children will appreciate you more as they get older.” 1.2449 0.04824 98 76 20 2
2201 President Bush was not talking about you specifically. 1.2447 0.04944 94 73 19 2
2202 So, Yes. What I'm saying IS that your problems go back to your roots. 1.2447 0.05171 94 74 17 3
2203 That hairstyle is cultural appropriation,Gumby 1.2447 0.05596 94 76 13 5
2204 Come to think of it, I don’t like you either. 1.2447 0.05171 94 74 17 3
2205 Bradford Pear—that’s a nice name. 1.2447 0.05596 94 76 13 5
2206 It's time you turned over a new leaf" By Tom Sievers 1.2447 0.05171 94 74 17 3
2207 Humans have bad hair days too! Just hang on till autumn. 1.2447 0.04944 94 73 19 2
2208 I can’t take it any longer. The environmentalists expect too much from me. 1.2444 0.05544 90 72 14 4
2209 Sorry, no food on the couch. 1.2444 0.05314 90 71 16 3
2210 Why so Melancolli? 1.2444 0.05074 90 70 18 2
2211 I don't think this relationship will work. You want too much time outside. 1.2444 0.05314 90 71 16 3
2212 I’m sorry for staring. I was expecting a fern. 1.2444 0.05314 90 71 16 3
2213 You say it hurts your feelings when they leave you behind? 1.2444 0.04822 90 69 20 1
2214 When did you first notice you were combing leaves?" 1.2444 0.05314 90 71 16 3
2215 So,what I hear you saying is that you continue to have trouble seeing the forest through the trees? 1.2444 0.05074 90 70 18 2
2216 So you're feeling alienated? Tell me more. 1.2444 0.05765 90 73 12 5
2217 Why are you so bitter? 1.2444 0.04822 90 69 20 1
2218 The world isn't out to steam you. 1.2444 0.05978 90 74 10 6
2219 It must be hard to live in the shadow of your thousand-year-old father 1.2444 0.04555 90 68 22 0
2220 How do you think you developed this strange perception that people don’t like you? 1.2442 0.05470 86 68 15 3
2221 -Finally, I feel completely eradicated… 1.2442 0.05214 86 67 17 2
2222 Let me get my dog. He eats this stuff up. 1.2442 0.06175 86 71 9 6
2223 Giving Tree, let’s practice saying no 1.2442 0.05470 86 68 15 3
2224 Tell me why you're so steamed. 1.2442 0.05470 86 68 15 3
2225 And where does this melancolli stem from? 1.2439 0.06150 82 67 10 5
2226 Just because you're a cruciferous vegetable, you don't have to be martyr. 1.2439 0.05077 82 63 18 1
2227 Then the ash borer did WHAT?! 1.2439 0.05639 82 65 14 3
2228 I don't know that it's quite ethical to say this, but--you're not paranoid. Everyone DOES hate you. 1.2439 0.05366 82 64 16 2
2229 Every time someone reaches for cauliflower on the shelf, I want you to do that breathing exercise I showed you. 1.2439 0.05366 82 64 16 2
2230 Why do you need everyone to like you? 1.2439 0.06150 82 67 10 5
2231 You give, you give and you give, but no one appreciates you. 1.2439 0.05366 82 64 16 2
2232 She only sees the forest. 1.2439 0.05077 82 63 18 1
2233 Wow, and he ate the salad right in front of you? 1.2439 0.05366 82 64 16 2
2234 Let's talk more about why you're feeling uprooted... 1.2437 0.05059 119 97 15 7
2235 How is your relationship with food going? 1.2437 0.04617 119 94 21 4
2236 Do you know cauliflower? I heard you guys were cousins. 1.2436 0.04892 78 59 19 0
2237 Perhaps this session, we will get to the root of the problem. 1.2436 0.05824 78 62 13 3
2238 so, when this "homeless gay man" pissed on you, it gave you... pleasure? 1.2435 0.04718 115 91 20 4
2239 I'm sorry, "head shrink" is not a literal description of what I do. 1.2432 0.05310 111 91 13 7
2240 Wow, psychoanalysis really is becoming poplar. 1.2432 0.04992 111 89 17 5
2241 Real nice talking to you but, sorry, we've got to get you washed for dinner. 1.2432 0.05378 74 57 16 1
2242 This isn't your season, you've got it let go. 1.2432 0.05378 74 57 16 1
2243 When you were smaller, I thought you were a stalk of celery. 1.2432 0.04826 111 88 19 4
2244 When did you first learn that you are renewable? 1.2432 0.06027 74 59 12 3
2245 I also know what it’s like to feel cut off from my roots. 1.2430 0.04940 107 85 18 4
2246 Dining table rejections can be tough, but don’t let it get to your Head 1.2430 0.04759 107 84 20 3
2247 So is it the celery or the bean you dream is stalking you? 1.2430 0.05116 107 86 16 5
2248 Sometimes leaving isn’t even a choice 1.2427 0.05426 103 84 13 6
2249 How long have you been carrying that burden on your head? 1.2427 0.05063 103 82 17 4
2250 I have been in your office for over 30 years and you still do not have the correct size couch. 1.2424 0.05195 99 79 16 4
2251 Trust me, no one wants your stem cells. 1.2421 0.05542 95 77 13 5
2252 It's okay to be sappy, this is a safe space.. 1.2421 0.05337 95 76 15 4
2253 Don't let others dictate what you are. If you want to be a good sized tree, be that. If you want to be a very large broccoli, be that. 1.2421 0.05337 95 76 15 4
2254 It ain’t easy being green. 1.2421 0.05122 95 75 17 3
2255 True, Kale is more popular right now, but look at it this way, you’re better in a stir fry! 1.2421 0.04665 95 73 21 1
2256 It sounds like you're asking why all of a sudden it's a '"problem" throwing shade? 1.2421 0.04899 95 74 19 2
2257 I feel as if all the little children hate me. 1.2421 0.05337 95 76 15 4
2258 You really are not being paranoid; you're being forced to extinction! 1.2421 0.04665 95 73 21 1
2259 Okay. I won't use the expression "Make like a tree and leave" anymore. 1.2421 0.05741 95 78 11 6
2260 Have you considered a new hairdresser? 1.2421 0.05542 95 77 13 5
2261 I know what you mean. When I was a kid, I was always the last one picked to play ball. 1.2418 0.04513 91 69 22 0
2262 I understand your bitterness…have you considered slathering yourself in a melted cheese sauce? 1.2418 0.05490 91 73 14 4
2263 There’s no such thing as a Jolly Green Giant. The “Ho Ho Ho” you keep hearing must be Santa Claus. 1.2418 0.05490 91 73 14 4
2264 I can tell right away that you're not eating right 1.2418 0.05263 91 72 16 3
2265 I'm sorry, but it's time for you to leaf. 1.2418 0.05263 91 72 16 3
2266 I'm here for a new hairpiece too. 1.2418 0.05263 91 72 16 3
2267 Have faith in yourself! If you fall in the forest, you WILL be heard. 1.2418 0.05490 91 73 14 4
2268 When did you first notice that you were so bitter? 1.2418 0.05025 91 71 18 2
2269 As you grow older, it’s natural to lose some friends. 1.2418 0.05263 91 72 16 3
2270 Frankly, your problem is you can't see the forest for the trees! 1.2418 0.05025 91 71 18 2
2271 You seem to be having trouble branching out. 1.2418 0.05708 91 74 12 5
2272 At some point you need to accept who you are without letting it go to your head. 1.2417 0.04583 120 95 21 4
2273 So let’s dive back into how the chronic rejection has impacted your self-worth. 1.2417 0.03924 120 91 29 0
2274 And when did you start dreaming that you were a tree? 1.2417 0.04583 120 95 21 4
2275 Sometimes you just have to accept that life is roughage. 1.2417 0.04879 120 97 17 6
2276 And it's the color change in autumn that bothers you? 1.2414 0.05414 87 69 15 3
2277 I suppose the tipping point was this cauliflower pizza thing.” 1.2414 0.05414 87 69 15 3
2278 I also had trouble adjusting to life in the city. 1.2414 0.05161 87 68 17 2
2279 I understand your fears. Green lives do matter. 1.2414 0.05161 87 68 17 2
2280 Doctor, am I a tree or a vegetable? 1.2414 0.05887 87 71 11 5
2281 Being an atheist doesn’t invalidate your existence. 1.2414 0.06325 87 73 7 7
2282 You feel unlovable. Have you considered covering yourself in cheese? 1.2410 0.06083 83 68 10 5
2283 Seriously…You have the best Afro ever and it bothers you?! 1.2410 0.06083 83 68 10 5
2284 Don’t be ridiculous. You’re green and organic. People are still going to want to devour you. 1.2410 0.06083 83 68 10 5
2285 You must realize you’ll be bald by November. 1.2410 0.05579 83 66 14 3
2286 You are so much more than a way to get the dip to my mouth. 1.2410 0.05836 83 67 12 4
2287 I'm not making fun of you! My favorite book really is 'The Crucible'! 1.2410 0.05579 83 66 14 3
2288 You shouldn't feel you'll be the next victim just because of the attacks on Mr. Potato Head. 1.2410 0.05836 83 67 12 4
2289 Why do you think the other kids hate you? 1.2407 0.05403 108 89 12 7
2290 I know it’s not easy being green, but fall will be here before you know it. 1.2405 0.06033 79 64 11 4
2291 When you first came to me, you said you felt like a potted plant. I think we're making progress! 1.2405 0.06033 79 64 11 4
2292 You can crash here but you have to lay off the cheese sauce. 1.2405 0.05758 79 63 13 3
2293 What exactly makes you feel like a vegetable? 1.2405 0.06033 79 64 11 4
2294 Honestly, rootlessness is in our collective psyche. 1.2405 0.05758 79 63 13 3
2295 Your sister, Cauli, says you're green with envy. 1.2405 0.05164 79 61 17 1
2296 Maybe she meant to call you Crucifer, not Lucifer. 1.2405 0.05758 79 63 13 3
2297 I'm just tired of the peeing. 1.2405 0.05758 79 63 13 3
2298 Sure she can't stand you, but you know she needs you, right? 1.2405 0.05469 79 62 15 2
2299 So you first became depressed when you fell in the forest and no one heard you? 1.2405 0.05758 79 63 13 3
2300 And when did you first start stalk-ing? 1.2404 0.05379 104 85 13 6
2301 Wanting a crown isn't all that unusual. But, it will make you shorter. 1.2404 0.05020 104 83 17 4
2302 I see, you tried to branch out but now you're feeling uprooted... 1.2404 0.05020 104 83 17 4
2303 It's early December. Of course you'll soon be bald. 1.2404 0.04427 104 80 23 1
2304 Well, it's true, some people don't like you and frankly, I don't like you either. 1.2404 0.05020 104 83 17 4
2305 I don't think our relationship will ever take root. 1.2404 0.04830 104 82 19 3
2306 It may sound over-simplified, but you just need to turn over a new leaf. 1.2404 0.04633 104 81 21 2
2307 So tell me more about your experiences with the Bond movies, Albert. How did they make you feet? 1.2400 0.05341 100 81 14 5
2308 Relax. Once your chlorophyll breaks down, you'll show your fall colors. 1.2400 0.04948 100 79 18 3
2309 Just because President Bush doesn’t like you doesn’t mean no one likes you. 1.2396 0.04854 96 75 19 2
2310 How long have you had these deep-rooted resentments against dogs? 1.2396 0.05075 96 76 17 3
2311 If your kid keeps avoiding you at dinner, use the carrot more than the stick. 1.2396 0.04854 96 75 19 2
2312 I’m having an identity crisis — am I a stalk or florets? 1.2396 0.05075 96 76 17 3
2313 Now, close your eyes, and imagine you're a tree. 1.2396 0.05075 96 76 17 3
2314 If someone says " if you were a tree what kind of tree would you be?" you don't have to answer immediately. 1.2396 0.05287 96 77 15 4
2315 Have you considered getting some sun? 1.2396 0.05075 96 76 17 3
2316 I wasn't paying close attention when we studied that branch of psychology 1.2396 0.05075 96 76 17 3
2317 It's not your fault your third grade teacher said you looked like broccoli and not a tree. It's the way you were drawn. 1.2396 0.05876 96 80 9 7
2318 I can appreciate why adopting a gender inclusive pronoun is challenging. 1.2396 0.05287 96 77 15 4
2319 Mustard, Arugula, Radish, Kale — you do indeed have a complicated family. 1.2396 0.04623 96 74 21 1
2320 I know, cauliflower is having a moment, but this too shall pass... 1.2393 0.04317 117 91 24 2
2321 First, let's address the branding problem — are you a tree or a giant sprig of broccoli? 1.2393 0.04953 117 95 16 6
2322 I know you're tired of holding up your flowerettes, but that's who you are! 1.2393 0.04802 117 94 18 5
2323 Do YOU think your relationship with Cheddar cheese is healthy. 1.2391 0.05436 92 74 14 4
2324 I’m around and I hear you 1.2391 0.04977 92 72 18 2
2325 So you feel like you've been getting roasted at work lately... 1.2391 0.04731 92 71 20 1
2326 Of course everyone hates you. 1.2391 0.05651 92 75 12 5
2327 Is that the calcium talking? 1.2391 0.04977 92 72 18 2
2328 So in this dream, you're steamed and served with potatoes and prime rib. How enticing...I mean interesting. 1.2391 0.05212 92 73 16 3
2329 Take it from me,go easy on the Afro Sheen. 1.2391 0.05436 92 74 14 4
2330 What you're feeling is quite natural. Many transplants to the city worry that they will forget their roots. 1.2391 0.04977 92 72 18 2
2331 You shouldn't take it so personally. Just get one of those apps that saves passwords, and you'll never, ever be asked to log in again. 1.2391 0.05436 92 74 14 4
2332 You always bring up these feelings when it's time to leave. 1.2391 0.05212 92 73 16 3
2333 When I said, you must continue to grow in your life, I'd hoped you'd put down more roots. 1.2391 0.05212 92 73 16 3
2334 Yes, the kids did hate you when they were young but people change. You’ve got to move on” 1.2391 0.05436 92 74 14 4
2335 My wife keeps telling me I'm a few florets short of a full head 1.2391 0.04977 92 72 18 2
2336 Let’s begin by going back to your roots. 1.2389 0.04749 113 90 19 4
2337 Mister Broccoli, you may have to just accept the fact that not everyone is going to like you. 1.2389 0.04913 113 91 17 5
2338 ‘Do you want to talk about your relationship with dogs?’ 1.2386 0.05359 88 70 15 3
2339 It's OK if your colleagues view you as a little green. 1.2386 0.05598 88 71 13 4
2340 It must be hard to take the pressure of being the healthiest. 1.2386 0.05598 88 71 13 4
2341 You really must return to the forest to help global warming! 1.2386 0.05110 88 69 17 2
2342 Of course people hear you when you fall! 1.2386 0.05359 88 70 15 3
2343 Do not let people’s absence hush your noise. 1.2386 0.05598 88 71 13 4
2344 It’s not your imagination, nobody likes you 1.2386 0.05826 88 72 11 5
2345 Have you thought about putting down roots? 1.2385 0.04681 109 86 20 3
2346 Why do you think so many kids hate you? 1.2385 0.04859 109 87 18 4
2347 It's not you. Not everyone likes giant broccoli." 1.2385 0.04859 109 87 18 4
2348 I know you have been feeling uprooted lately. 1.2381 0.04594 105 82 21 2
2349 Causing malodorous expulsions is my biggest regret, doc. 1.2381 0.04789 105 83 19 3
2350 Do you think your persistent body order might be impacting your ability to make new friends? 1.2381 0.05773 84 68 12 4
2351 I feel like there is always a cloud over me. 1.2381 0.04594 105 82 21 2
2352 You say people hate you...does that make you bitter? 1.2381 0.05253 84 66 16 2
2353 So, you call it a tree-fro. So what's the problem? 1.2381 0.05332 105 86 13 6
2354 Before we start, how would you like to pay for this session? 1.2381 0.05253 84 66 16 2
2355 Of course I love you, dear, I am vegan. 1.2381 0.06250 84 70 8 6
2356 It’s not all in your head; everybody does hate you. 1.2381 0.05519 84 67 14 3
2357 Sure, you're good for everyone -- but let's talk about what's good for YOU? 1.2381 0.05253 84 66 16 2
2358 What makes you stalk? 1.2381 0.04789 105 83 19 3
2359 It’s ok. We all feel uprooted and shady sometimes. 1.2381 0.05519 84 67 14 3
2360 What's it going to be? You're a mighty oak or a stalk of broccoli ? 1.2381 0.04675 84 64 20 0
2361 And, besides having roots, what makes you think you're Angela Davis? 1.2381 0.05519 84 67 14 3
2362 What Is That Smell? 1.2381 0.05253 84 66 16 2
2363 They may as well call me a crusufferous vegetable. 1.2381 0.04789 105 83 19 3
2364 "Sure, green lives matter. 1.2381 0.05519 84 67 14 3
2365 Why don't you try the vegetarian restaurant next-door? I bet they love you there! 1.2381 0.04972 84 65 18 1
2366 So tell me, when did you start to branch out? 1.2377 0.04664 122 98 19 5
2367 I'm going out on a limb here ... When were you last pruned? 1.2376 0.04905 101 80 18 3
2368 I'd recommend covering yourself in cheese. 1.2375 0.05409 80 63 15 2
2369 Now, Mr. Druckmiller, let’s begin work on your outer yew. 1.2375 0.05409 80 63 15 2
2370 Then the cauliflour said, "All you broccoli look the same." 1.2375 0.05409 80 63 15 2
2371 Now, let's explore your roots. 1.2375 0.05108 80 62 17 1
2372 So, all your leaves were brown, and the sky was gray? 1.2375 0.05694 80 64 13 3
2373 Yes, I do find it annoying when people say, 'I don't care if you're black, brown, or green...', but let's get back to you. 1.2375 0.05108 80 62 17 1
2374 So, when did you decide to become a hedge fund manager? 1.2375 0.05694 80 64 13 3
2375 It only FEELS like no one heard you falling. 1.2375 0.04788 80 61 19 0
2376 So, broccoli’s your approach to the holidays this year. 1.2375 0.05108 80 62 17 1
2377 Let's focus on your family roots. 1.2371 0.05029 97 77 17 3
2378 Yes, well unfortunately, in addition to everyone else, I hate you too. 1.2371 0.04810 97 76 19 2
2379 I think your social anxiety will be helped if you add a little hollandaise sauce. 1.2371 0.05238 97 78 15 4
2380 Stop blaming yourself; it isn’t your fault that all of your offspring turned out to be nuts. 1.2371 0.04810 97 76 19 2
2381 In your nightmare, were you steamed or roasted? 1.2371 0.04810 97 76 19 2
2382 Ya, I get all kinds in here---couch potatoes, cauliflower ears, and even my share of little sprouts. But you're the first bedded broccoli I seen, so don't turn all wilted on me. 1.2371 0.04810 97 76 19 2
2383 And how does it make you feel when you hear people say they don't like you? 1.2371 0.04810 97 76 19 2
2384 So which is worse for you now? The thought of being broiled, boiled or sautéed? 1.2371 0.04341 97 74 23 0
2385 I didn't get a rose on the double date last week. The kid gave it to the carrot. I wore butter and everything! 1.2371 0.05238 97 78 15 4
2386 Stan, you need to find a purpose to your life. You're turning into a vegetable." 1.2371 0.04810 97 76 19 2
2387 You'll never truly blossom if you persist in blaming all of your problems on your seeds. 1.2371 0.05633 97 80 11 6
2388 But why won't you talk about your roots? 1.2371 0.05029 97 77 17 3
2389 It's not just in your head. Everyone does indeed hate you. Now, pay me and get the f- off my couch! 1.2368 0.06175 76 62 10 4
2390 so apart from the hair thing... 1.2368 0.05254 76 59 16 1
2391 I know a bad hair day when I see one 1.2368 0.05183 114 94 13 7
2392 Just relax and tell me how it felt to be called wooden. 1.2368 0.05578 76 60 14 2
2393 How did you feel when Jimmy put you on his sisters plate when no one was looking? 1.2368 0.05884 76 61 12 3
2394 It's hard trying to be good for everyone all the time?. 1.2368 0.04712 114 91 19 4
2395 So, how did you react when your father revealed you’re not a naturally occurring plant? 1.2368 0.05884 76 61 12 3
2396 What's the overstory? 1.2368 0.05884 76 61 12 3
2397 I think the problem here is that you assume people don't like you just because you're a head of broccoli. 1.2368 0.05578 76 60 14 2
2398 So tell me more about your stalker. 1.2368 0.05884 76 61 12 3
2399 I’m not the one throwing shade. 1.2366 0.05162 93 74 16 3
2400 I recommend you connect with your roots. 1.2366 0.04687 93 72 20 1
2401 Really it’s not your fault that the saplings don’t want to leave home. 1.2366 0.05596 93 76 12 5
2402 You just have to accept it - as bad as it is - that's the way you are supposed to smell. 1.2366 0.04687 93 72 20 1
2403 I just think you would find more stability if you put some roots down somewhere 1.2366 0.05162 93 74 16 3
2404 Maybe she’s just a picky eater. 1.2364 0.04990 110 89 16 5
2405 Of course it's your decision but I'd go with money. Anybody can grow apples. 1.2361 0.05764 72 57 13 2
2406 This whole time I've been pronouncing your name "Ra-Be". 1.2361 0.05764 72 57 13 2
2407 There's a very simple reason your children don't like you. 1.2361 0.06094 72 58 11 3
2408 It’s time to take stalk. 1.2360 0.05059 89 70 17 2
2409 I’m more than just a vegetable… 1.2360 0.04526 89 68 21 0
2410 So you have cauliflower issues. Tell me about that. 1.2360 0.05541 89 72 13 4
2411 Why is your burqa disguised as a tree? 1.2360 0.05984 89 74 9 6
2412 It's not paranoia, you're bound to be stalked. 1.2360 0.05767 89 73 11 5
2413 You’re telling me, cauliflower rice was the star of the dinner? 1.2360 0.04526 89 68 21 0
2414 Let's not waste time arguing about who is throwing shade at whom. 1.2360 0.05059 89 70 17 2
2415 Doctor, I can't see forest for tree... 1.2360 0.05305 89 71 15 3
2416 I knew Joyce Kilmer. Joyce Kilmer was a friend of mine. Trust me, you're no Joyce Kilmer. 1.2360 0.05305 89 71 15 3
2417 Trees HAVE taken thousands of years more than humans to live indoors, but how does that mean you're inferior? 1.2360 0.05059 89 70 17 2
2418 There is nothing to be ashamed about. Your leaves look real. 1.2360 0.05305 89 71 15 3
2419 We need to get past this climate problem for you to reach your full potential 1.2360 0.04526 89 68 21 0
2420 The answer, my friend, is blowing in the wind. 1.2358 0.04935 106 85 17 4
2421 You just need to put down some roots 1.2353 0.05198 85 67 16 2
2422 So what I hear you saying is you feel detached. 1.2353 0.05246 102 83 14 5
2423 In my prime, the restaurant menus all offered “broccoli, broccoli, broccoli;” these days, alas, it’s all about the “broccolini” and “broccoli-rabe!” 1.2353 0.06664 68 56 8 4
2424 So then… after that they ate my mother. 1.2353 0.05198 85 67 16 2
2425 Tell me about your relationship with your roots. 1.2353 0.05952 85 70 10 5
2426 So you fell in the forest and no one heard? How did that make you feel? 1.2353 0.05461 85 68 14 3
2427 Issues aren’t uncommon when you have had to pull yourself up from the dirt 1.2353 0.05952 85 70 10 5
2428 Would you like a pillow? 1.2353 0.04445 102 79 22 1
2429 Your inferiority complex begins and ends with being deciduous. 1.2353 0.05970 68 54 12 2
2430 don't let it go to your head. think green thoughts in a green shade instead. 1.2353 0.04862 102 81 18 3
2431 At what age did you become so anti-oxidant? 1.2353 0.05198 85 67 16 2
2432 Frankly, I’m stumped. 1.2353 0.04922 85 66 18 1
2433 In the Cruciferous Family? Well, we all have our crosses to bear 1.2353 0.05198 85 67 16 2
2434 I feel so uprooted. 1.2353 0.04922 85 66 18 1
2435 How did it make you feel when she said she finds you hard to digest? 1.2353 0.05970 68 54 12 2
2436 Don’t worry, I’m not a vegetarian 1.2353 0.04862 102 81 18 3
2437 So you're not related to the James Bond people? 1.2353 0.05970 68 54 12 2
2438 So, you're saying your worst fear is not being heard when you fell in the forest?" 1.2353 0.05461 85 68 14 3
2439 Is that Chia or the real thing? 1.2353 0.05461 85 68 14 3
2440 And when you fell in the forest and no one acknowledged it, how did that make you feel? 1.2353 0.06327 68 55 10 3
2441 So have you always felt like this about birds? 1.2353 0.05461 85 68 14 3
2442 On the plus side, yours will grow back 1.2353 0.04862 102 81 18 3
2443 Doc, of course I remember my roots, but it’s never enough for those old growth trees. 1.2353 0.04577 119 95 20 4
2444 You say your hands are tied. Let's reframe those negative thoughts. 1.2353 0.05198 85 67 16 2
2445 So, tell me how you feel about deforestation. 1.2353 0.04658 102 80 20 2
2446 Unfortunately, I agree. I think most people just don't like you. 1.2353 0.05058 102 82 16 4
2447 So you think being an early bloomer was a bad thing? 1.2347 0.04767 98 77 19 2
2448 When you called and asked for the consultation, I thought you said you were the Barkeley guy I went to college with. 1.2346 0.05349 81 64 15 2
2449 Sounds like she got pretty steamed. 1.2346 0.05053 81 63 17 1
2450 I don't like broccoli either! 1.2346 0.05349 81 64 15 2
2451 My family tree?" 1.2346 0.05349 81 64 15 2
2452 I hope you're not doused in butter because that's a new sofa. 1.2344 0.06585 64 52 9 3
2453 Yes, I realize what your name is. But you don't really have any say in who the next James Bond should be. 1.2342 0.04607 111 88 20 3
2454 Sometimes you give and give and give and there’s nothing left over. 1.2340 0.05332 94 76 14 4
2455 I'm in denial apparently. They keep telling me I belong to the Cabbage family. 1.2340 0.04390 94 72 22 0
2456 I wouldn't worry about it. Broccolini is just a passing fancy. 1.2340 0.04884 94 74 18 2
2457 Glad to see you took my suggestion to branch out seriously. 1.2340 0.05332 94 76 14 4
2458 I can see how the children’s hatred is upsetting. But let’s focus on the positive, like not getting eaten. 1.2340 0.04884 94 74 18 2
2459 What do you think is the root of your problem....or the problem of your roots? 1.2340 0.05332 94 76 14 4
2460 There’s no need to feel bitter, I’ll prescribe Parmesan. 1.2340 0.05745 94 78 10 6
2461 Just remember-it's not easy being green. Denise Bencivengo Bordentown, NJ 1.2340 0.05113 94 75 16 3
2462 Life can be a little roughage sometime. 1.2340 0.04884 94 74 18 2
2463 Oh darn, I mixed up my Xanax with my Psilocybin again. 1.2338 0.06376 77 64 8 5
2464 Dr. I am thinking of a fade cut on the sides and a gold chain ...want to upgrade my street cred 1.2338 0.06102 77 63 10 4
2465 I recommend just letting off some steam and cooling down a bit. 1.2338 0.05514 77 61 14 2
2466 Being pushed aside and rejected has nothing to do with you. It's not you, it's the kid. 1.2338 0.05816 77 62 12 3
2467 I think it would be good to return to your roots. 1.2338 0.06102 77 63 10 4
2468 To start with,my mother was a nut… 1.2338 0.05514 77 61 14 2
2469 But your healthy and that's what's important. 1.2336 0.04893 107 86 17 4
2470 I'm afraid I can't be impartial. I hate broccoli. 1.2333 0.05485 90 73 13 4
2471 I would like to discuss your feelings but your head keeps getting in the way. 1.2333 0.05708 90 74 11 5
2472 It's time to move on. Being liked by George Bush isn't everything. 1.2333 0.05253 90 72 15 3
2473 So, Broccoli, what’s your beef? 1.2333 0.05009 90 71 17 2
2474 So, they tease you by Cal-en you ah- flower. What do you feel when this happens? 1.2333 0.05253 90 72 15 3
2475 You're just a late bloomer! 1.2333 0.04754 90 70 19 1
2476 It’s time we got down to the root of the problem 1.2333 0.05485 90 73 13 4
2477 It's only a limbotomy. They'll grow back over time. 1.2333 0.04754 90 70 19 1
2478 Truly incredible! I've never seen someone branch out like this! 1.2333 0.05009 90 71 17 2
2479 Have you experienced this acute anxiety in any dip-free or non-fondue settings? 1.2333 0.05009 90 71 17 2
2480 You're feeling...blue. Interesting. Tell me more... 1.2333 0.05009 90 71 17 2
2481 You OUTRAN the California WILDFIRES ?! 1.2333 0.05253 90 72 15 3
2482 I shouldn't be this big. 1.2333 0.05009 90 71 17 2
2483 My impression is that you are missing the forest. 1.2333 0.05009 90 71 17 2
2484 At least you’re not Nuts. 1.2330 0.04820 103 82 18 3
2485 There is no reason to get steamed; it’s all in your head! 1.2330 0.05014 103 83 16 4
2486 Now you're in hot water. 1.2330 0.04820 103 82 18 3
2487 I'm not supposed to tell you this, but broccoli feels the same way 1.2330 0.04820 103 82 18 3
2488 Why did you decide to go vegan? 1.2329 0.06019 73 59 11 3
2489 I'm stumped. You simply can't get to the root of your problem. 1.2329 0.05694 73 58 13 2
2490 My parents laughed when I told them what would happen if they made me eat any more broccoli. 1.2329 0.06327 73 60 9 4
2491 I think you should consider breaking up with salt and start dating cheese. You guys are really good together. 1.2329 0.05349 73 57 15 1
2492 gotta get your groove back 1.2329 0.06621 73 61 7 5
2493 Is that when you started to stalk? 1.2326 0.04582 86 66 20 0
2494 Tell me more about why you feel like a party platter pooper 1.2326 0.05404 86 69 14 3
2495 It all started when I logged in 1.2326 0.04606 129 105 18 6
2496 You need "forest therapy" 1.2326 0.05652 86 70 12 4
2497 It’s perfectly OK to feel sappy every so often. 1.2326 0.05652 86 70 12 4
2498 We must deal with the fact that you think you are connected to other similar persons by a raft of subterranean fungi. 1.2326 0.04872 86 67 18 1
2499 That's nothing to stress over...the 'fro is coming back. 1.2326 0.05652 86 70 12 4
2500 So. I had Brussels sprouts here last week. How do you think he feels? 1.2326 0.05404 86 69 14 3
2501 So tell me about your mother, Nature? 1.2326 0.05404 86 69 14 3
2502 Legally, I cant prescribe pesticides, but... 1.2326 0.05145 86 68 16 2
2503 How long have you been sleeping in the refrigerator? 1.2326 0.05889 86 71 10 5
2504 Why are you steamed? 1.2326 0.05404 86 69 14 3
2505 Sometimes a pollinator is just a pollinator. 1.2326 0.05145 86 68 16 2
2506 You’re telling me you want to use the celery bathroom now? 1.2326 0.05404 86 69 14 3
2507 I understand you are frustrated that we only celebrate Arbor Day and not Arbor Month. 1.2326 0.05404 86 69 14 3
2508 So, before we start can I call you Brock? 1.2323 0.04938 99 79 17 3
2509 Let me get this straight: You have a recurring nightmare you're not a tree but a piece of broccoli on someone's plate. 1.2323 0.04725 99 78 19 2
2510 And how does the increasing popularity of cauliflower make you feel? 1.2323 0.04501 99 77 21 1
2511 I made a choice between flora and fauna and now I am not sure 1.2323 0.04938 99 79 17 3
2512 Why do you think you have trouble putting down roots? 1.2323 0.04725 99 78 19 2
2513 Good news is you will survive this illness. Bad news is that you'll be a vegetable. 1.2319 0.06576 69 57 8 4
2514 I’ve certainly dealt with quite a few nuts in my line of work, but I have to admit that you’re my first vegetable. 1.2319 0.05519 69 54 14 1
2515 I was doing fine until all the other trees started calling me “Shady.” 1.2319 0.06243 69 56 10 3
2516 Rob,why do you spell it Rabe. 1.2319 0.05118 69 53 16 0
2517 On the inside, I'm a carrot 1.2317 0.04999 82 64 17 1
2518 Do you miss Air Force 1? 1.2317 0.04999 82 64 17 1
2519 Have you considered branching out a bit more? 1.2317 0.05569 82 66 13 3
2520 Look, becoming something different’s nothing to be ashamed of! 1.2317 0.04999 82 64 17 1
2521 Now, let’s address the root of your stalk-holm syndrome… 1.2317 0.05291 82 65 15 2
2522 It will only be a temporary loss, they’ll grow back in the spring. 1.2317 0.05569 82 66 13 3
2523 If we're going to make any process in here, I'm going to need you to dig deep and go back to your roots. 1.2317 0.05833 82 67 11 4
2524 What makes you think all your friends are stalking you? 1.2317 0.05569 82 66 13 3
2525 There's no shame in identifying as a radish. 1.2317 0.06086 82 68 9 5
2526 Think of it this way. You can put down roots anywhere. 1.2317 0.05291 82 65 15 2
2527 Kids make faces and call me names. 1.2317 0.05291 82 65 15 2
2528 So you'd say your feeling rootless. 1.2316 0.05281 95 77 14 4
2529 Well normally I'd say that it's not possible that everyone hates you 1.2316 0.04838 95 75 18 2
2530 Just because you became a vegetarian doesn't mean you have to look like a vegetable. 1.2316 0.04838 95 75 18 2
2531 That is not an afro. 1.2316 0.05065 95 76 16 3
2532 This is not what I meant when I suggested branching out. 1.2316 0.04838 95 75 18 2
2533 It's therapy, you have permission to be crudite. 1.2316 0.04838 95 75 18 2
2534 I'm finding it hard to hold my head up lately. 1.2316 0.04838 95 75 18 2
2535 If it's that bad then leave 1.2316 0.05065 95 76 16 3
2536 No one can be good all the time. 1.2316 0.05281 95 77 14 4
2537 How did you feel after you didn’t make a sound? 1.2316 0.05489 95 78 12 5
2538 Let’s be positive; most broccoli do not have the financial resources for therapy. 1.2316 0.04601 95 74 20 1
2539 Always remember….George Bush may have hated you , but Dana Carvey wrote a song about you ! 1.2316 0.05489 95 78 12 5
2540 I’m afraid you have a classic case of acorn envy. 1.2315 0.04284 108 84 23 1
2541 How long have you had this rootless feeling? 1.2315 0.04482 108 85 21 2
2542 It sounds to me like you have seasonal affective disorder. 1.2315 0.04482 108 85 21 2
2543 First off, do you identify as deciduous or coniferous? 1.2308 0.04708 91 71 19 1
2544 So when did you start your broccoli diet?" 1.2308 0.04961 91 72 17 2
2545 Sounds like you have a classic case of empty nest syndrome. 1.2308 0.06031 78 64 10 4
2546 You don't have anger issues. You just get steamed now and then. 1.2308 0.05137 78 61 16 1
2547 You're not tree, you're not broccoli, you're just you. 1.2308 0.04970 104 84 16 4
2548 Not TREE-tment, TREA-tment 1.2308 0.05201 91 73 15 3
2549 I think you should try to distinguish between your "self" and your "flavor" when considering how others respond to you. 1.2308 0.04579 104 82 20 2
2550 I can see that you're a little steamed 1.2308 0.05137 78 61 16 1
2551 So you're saying being with the Jolly Green Giant makes you feel invisible? 1.2308 0.04961 91 72 17 2
2552 So, you feel your partner wants 4 more like you every day? 1.2308 0.05748 78 63 12 3
2553 You are saying The New Yorker believes there is cauliflower privilege because it's white? 1.2308 0.05451 78 62 14 2
2554 When did you first suspect that you weren't Pasta Bolognese ? 1.2308 0.05155 104 85 14 5
2555 And sure enough, mom really was sneaking in vegetables by blending them into sauces and such 1.2308 0.05431 91 74 13 4
2556 Cannibalism is a definite concern. How long have you been a vegan broccoli? 1.2308 0.04970 104 84 16 4
2557 Branching out is not always the best option 1.2308 0.04604 117 94 19 4
2558 You know, our time together is helping me appreciate the Chronic Vegetative State in a whole new way. 1.2308 0.05137 78 61 16 1
2559 I think it's time you started putting down roots. 1.2308 0.05451 78 62 14 2
2560 Tell me again about your fears of axes and two-man saws. 1.2308 0.04801 78 60 18 0
2561 Maybe you are good for them, but are they good fit YOU? 1.2308 0.05431 91 74 13 4
2562 Well, to be honest, you're giving me indigestion now. 1.2308 0.04579 104 82 20 2
2563 When did you first notice you were losing your leaves?" 1.2308 0.05137 78 61 16 1
2564 I understand your frustration with kale becoming the new go-to green. 1.2308 0.05748 78 63 12 3
2565 Is it because you are a vegetable of color? 1.2308 0.04961 91 72 17 2
2566 Wow! Six false arrests on suspicion of stalking. That must really steam you up. 1.2308 0.05705 65 51 13 1
2567 It's my opinion the root of your problem is that you have none. 1.2301 0.05184 113 94 12 7
2568 Immature seed dropping is not a case of sexual dysfunction. But as for your pronouns, do you object to deciduous/broadleaf ? 1.2301 0.04705 113 91 18 4
2569 OK, a brussel sprout called you a broccoli head, you need to be the bigger vegetable here. 1.2300 0.04894 100 80 17 3
2570 Do you see yourself as blanched or au gratin? 1.2300 0.04894 100 80 17 3
2571 And what do you think this dream means? The one where all your leaves fall out? 1.2300 0.04683 100 79 19 2
2572 I hate to tell you this, but most people don't like ranch dressing. 1.2300 0.04683 100 79 19 2
2573 Look at the bright side, hardly anyone is reading printed books these days." 1.2300 0.04894 100 80 17 3
2574 Now that you've let off some steam, I'd like to put you in my fridge and meet with you again in a couple weeks when it's time to throw you out. 1.2300 0.05096 100 81 15 4
2575 With a little work, we can get to the root of your problems. 1.2299 0.05348 87 70 14 3
2576 Maybe we’re all late bloomers. 1.2299 0.05593 87 71 12 4
2577 So, you mentioned that in last night's dream they were trying to turn you into pizza dough too? 1.2299 0.05593 87 71 12 4
2578 Just because she said she's a tree-hugger doesn't mean she's ready for a serious relationship, and you need to respect that. 1.2299 0.05348 87 70 14 3
2579 Here is the thing—I stink when I get overheated. 1.2299 0.05092 87 69 16 2
2580 How many times have you read "A Tree Grows in Brooklyn"? 1.2299 0.05827 87 72 10 5
2581 Yes, I understand that you want to be heard. 1.2299 0.04823 87 68 18 1
2582 I DON'T THINK IT LOOKS LIKE AN AFRO. 1.2299 0.05827 87 72 10 5
2583 No! I don't think you can "really relate"! 1.2299 0.04823 87 68 18 1
2584 You're experiencing is an identity crisis. Your passion says tree, but your values say broccoli. 1.2299 0.05092 87 69 16 2
2585 The good news is that the passage of time tends to resolve phantom limb syndrome. 1.2299 0.04823 87 68 18 1
2586 Tell me why YOU think you feel so rootless. 1.2299 0.05348 87 70 14 3
2587 Forget about everyone else. The important question is, did you hear yourself fall?" 1.2299 0.05827 87 72 10 5
2588 Resist the body-shaming. So what if you dropped your leaves at a nudist resort full of conifers? 1.2299 0.04823 87 68 18 1
2589 And why do you think this rejection hurts you so much? 1.2297 0.05945 74 60 11 3
2590 I know you're anxious, But after they're orange and go away they absolutely will come back. 1.2297 0.05286 74 58 15 1
2591 There's no "I" in bunch. 1.2297 0.05625 74 59 13 2
2592 I want first to acknowledge how much you've branched out. 1.2297 0.04923 74 57 17 0
2593 I know this is hard to hear, but the tree costume is a little cringe, not gonna lie. 1.2297 0.05945 74 60 11 3
2594 So, you say your girlfriend only loves you with cheese sauce. Why does that make you feel unloved? 1.2297 0.05945 74 60 11 3
2595 Now, why don't we start with your roots. 1.2297 0.05625 74 59 13 2
2596 Perhaps saying you are shady is a compliment. 1.2297 0.05286 74 58 15 1
2597 So you fell in the forest and no one heard you--how did that make you feel? 1.2297 0.05945 74 60 11 3
2598 You have nothing to worry about, it is normal to lose your leaves. By spring you will be back to normal. Relax and enjoy. 1.2294 0.04986 109 89 15 5
2599 Yes the rings do represent growth, but is it real growth? 1.2292 0.05017 96 77 16 3
2600 I understand your feelings. It's not easy being green. 1.2292 0.04559 96 75 20 1
2601 Do you feel like you've stopped growing? 1.2292 0.04559 96 75 20 1
2602 Why do you think the voices tell you to drown yourself in boiling water? 1.2292 0.05437 96 79 12 5
2603 Some people may find your tendencies to be "stalky" 1.2292 0.05017 96 77 16 3
2604 Well it could be seen as limiting, that is being a broccolitarian. 1.2289 0.05769 83 68 11 4
2605 You are always the last picked? 1.2289 0.04946 83 65 17 1
2606 We've been over this. You've got to let go of your leaves. 1.2289 0.05235 83 66 15 2
2607 Of course you’re free to leave whenever you want to 1.2289 0.05235 83 66 15 2
2608 So you are worried about Bezos suing you all for using the Amazon name for your forest ? 1.2289 0.05508 83 67 13 3
2609 Sorry. I'm not a tree surgeon. 1.2289 0.05235 83 66 15 2
2610 I’m just here to lie down, I’ve been standing all day. 1.2289 0.05508 83 67 13 3
2611 Falling in the forsest with no one around to hear it is the least of your problems. Let's go back to your fear of chainsaws.'' 1.2289 0.05508 83 67 13 3
2612 So, your complex started when President Bush told the world he hated you? 1.2289 0.05235 83 66 15 2
2613 When did you first start to realize you are split between identifying as broccoli or oak? 1.2289 0.05235 83 66 15 2
2614 Let's get to the root of the problem: exactly why don't you like dogs? 1.2288 0.04725 118 96 17 5
2615 It seems as if you’ve been reading too much Ovid. 1.2286 0.05817 70 56 12 2
2616 Now, about your tree-meant. 1.2283 0.04663 92 72 19 1
2617 Sorry about the stains, there was a leek here before. 1.2283 0.04913 92 73 17 2
2618 You, being an evergreen, need have no fear of being publicly naked in winter. But you might want to find a hairdresser." 1.2283 0.05595 92 76 11 5
2619 Can you validate your girlfriend's feelings when she insists you keep stalking her? 1.2283 0.05377 92 75 13 4
2620 So what happened after you self-identified as a tree? 1.2283 0.05150 92 74 15 3
2621 You did not choose to be deciduous. 1.2283 0.04663 92 72 19 1
2622 Tell me more about this feeling that no one likes you 1.2283 0.04663 92 72 19 1
2623 Try turning a new leaf. 1.2278 0.05079 79 62 16 1
2624 So, I suggest examining your roots. 1.2278 0.05390 79 63 14 2
2625 And Why do you think people hate broccoli ? 1.2278 0.05961 79 65 10 4
2626 Never mind, it was just a Kermit the Frog reference—just a song. 1.2278 0.05390 79 63 14 2
2627 Don't be bitter. It is not your fault your kids hate you. 1.2278 0.05390 79 63 14 2
2628 I think your intense desire to branch out probably has its roots in your family's DNA. 1.2278 0.05390 79 63 14 2
2629 Honey, I warned you about the possibility of unknown side effects of veganism 1.2278 0.05390 79 63 14 2
2630 Let me get this straight,,, you're depressed because Our people make more CO2 than Your people make Oxygen??,,, Am I getting warm? 1.2278 0.05683 79 64 12 3
2631 Les talk... 1.2278 0.05390 79 63 14 2
2632 They do say, “Heavy is the head…” 1.2278 0.04749 79 61 18 0
2633 So people respect your fiber--but you've never felt loved. 1.2277 0.05243 101 83 13 5
2634 I know this puts you out on a limb, but tell me about your new hair style. 1.2277 0.04850 101 81 17 3
2635 It's just so hard when everyone thinks you're healthy. 1.2277 0.04642 101 80 19 2
2636 No one ever asks how I am… 1.2277 0.04642 101 80 19 2
2637 You love tree huggers but you don't love yourself? 1.2277 0.04642 101 80 19 2
2638 My couch is for rest. You know? For. Rest. Forrest. Get it? 1.2273 0.05041 88 70 16 2
2639 A Hollandaise aversion is normal and treatable. 1.2273 0.04775 88 69 18 1
2640 How long have you had this feeling of being stalked? 1.2273 0.06758 66 55 7 4
2641 Actually, it's Free Bird, not Tree Bird. 1.2273 0.05766 88 73 10 5
2642 I'm afraid I'm a little green on vegetable psychology. 1.2273 0.05294 88 71 14 3
2643 I'm just amazed you can talk. 1.2273 0.05766 88 73 10 5
2644 It’s not healthy to hate salads. 1.2273 0.05041 88 70 16 2
2645 Well, I'm not bitter. 1.2273 0.05294 88 71 14 3
2646 I had hair transplants when I lost mine. 1.2273 0.05294 88 71 14 3
2647 The kid refused to have you again? 1.2273 0.05041 88 70 16 2
2648 What if oak, sourwood and maple DID drop all theirs? If oak, sourwood and maple jumped off a bridge would you? 1.2268 0.04518 97 76 20 1
2649 I'm sorry you didn't get that part in Macbeth, but surely there are other plays you can try out for. 1.2268 0.05182 97 79 14 4
2650 I'm sorry, but we've run out of thyme. 1.2267 0.05558 75 60 13 2
2651 We need to get you to like yourself. I like you. I'd like you better with cheese sauce. Just kidding. 1.2267 0.05874 75 61 11 3
2652 When I said that I feel stunted in my personal growth, this isn't what I had in mind. 1.2267 0.05874 75 61 11 3
2653 Sometimes I get the urge to throw myself into a pot of boiling water. 1.2267 0.05224 75 59 15 1
2654 Are you comfortable? 1.2267 0.05558 75 60 13 2
2655 My greatest fear is of becoming a mammal like you. 1.2267 0.04867 75 58 17 0
2656 I may be going out on a limb here, but I think these changes you're experiencing are perfectly natural and beautiful. You just need to acknowledge them and then let them go. 1.2267 0.05558 75 60 13 2
2657 I’m more accustomed to the blues but, yes, the greens are not unheard of. 1.2267 0.05558 75 60 13 2
2658 So when did you first realize that you were trans? 1.2264 0.04698 106 85 18 3
2659 You should learn to accept that not everyone will like you. 1.2262 0.05449 84 68 13 3
2660 Well, after all it is Fall. Don't be afraid to let go. But please wait until you leave my office. 1.2262 0.05179 84 67 15 2
2661 Why do you feel people are staring at you only in the fall? 1.2262 0.05179 84 67 15 2
2662 Do you frequently feel "steamed"? 1.2262 0.05449 84 68 13 3
2663 Angst in the full flower of youth when you’re rootless is typical. You need to chill. 1.2262 0.05449 84 68 13 3
2664 You know what? I don’t like you either. Get the hell out of here. 1.2262 0.05449 84 68 13 3
2665 Mr. Broccoli, why do you feel you are unworthy of being mistaken as a tree? 1.2262 0.05449 84 68 13 3
2666 Your problem isn’t as deep rooted as you think. 1.2262 0.04895 84 66 17 1
2667 You have many strengths, but you can’t solve global warming all by yourself. 1.2262 0.04592 84 65 19 0
2668 Did he actually give you a Hug? 1.2262 0.05179 84 67 15 2
2669 I can’t get over it. Every year no matter how colorful the leaves get, I get depressed. 1.2262 0.04592 84 65 19 0
2670 If we dig deeper I'm sure we can get to the root of this. 1.2262 0.05179 84 67 15 2
2671 Tell me more about your feelings of being without roots. 1.2262 0.04895 84 66 17 1
2672 Why do you feel responsible that the apple fell far from you? 1.2258 0.04866 93 74 17 2
2673 Ordinarily, a relationship with a client isn't healthy. 1.2258 0.05540 93 77 11 5
2674 How did it make you feel when she called you spinach? 1.2258 0.04619 93 73 19 1
2675 I don't give a fruit any longer 1.2258 0.04619 93 73 19 1
2676 So when did you first come to believe that you might actually be a broccoli spear on steroids? 1.2258 0.05325 93 76 13 4
2677 Well I’m here to help you stay rooted 1.2258 0.04866 93 74 17 2
2678 You do realize that this is a meeting of a hedge fund. 1.2258 0.04866 93 74 17 2
2679 Just ignore the people saying your hair is cultural appropriation. They're the ones who should be on the couch. 1.2255 0.05196 102 84 13 5
2680 You can't just lie around vegging out. 1.2255 0.04808 102 82 17 3
2681 Don't worry - you're lovelier than a poem. 1.2255 0.05196 102 84 13 5
2682 For being silent and stationary, you respond well to therapy-speak. 1.2254 0.05743 71 57 12 2
2683 And exactly why do you feel you’re being stalked? 1.2254 0.06084 71 58 10 3
2684 I believe that most hairdressers style afros in ways that don't require you to hold it up with your arms. 1.2254 0.05743 71 57 12 2
2685 Well, I don't know that if you were white you could be cauliflower but let's go with that thought. 1.2254 0.05743 71 57 12 2
2686 It does make a sound... a horrible, awful sound. 1.2254 0.05743 71 57 12 2
2687 You're a vegetable? My mom always said you were a tree. 1.2252 0.04904 111 91 15 5
2688 Growth starts when you branch out. 1.2252 0.04375 111 88 21 2
2689 Word is it isn't easy being green. 1.2252 0.04735 111 90 17 4
2690 You’re healthy. 1.2250 0.05618 80 65 12 3
2691 I think the problem here is that you refuse to put down roots. 1.2250 0.04698 80 62 18 0
2692 I once had a tree house myself. 1.2250 0.05618 80 65 12 3
2693 It's OK to not like yourself now, everybody hates broccoli until they are at least 21. 1.2250 0.05329 80 64 14 2
2694 I apologize I can not be your therapist. Just seeing you brings back childhood drama, power struggles, and nights of loss dessert. 1.2250 0.05329 80 64 14 2
2695 So what kind of tree do you want to be? 1.2250 0.05618 80 65 12 3
2696 What do you mean, you think my tie looks stupid? 1.2250 0.05618 80 65 12 3
2697 Anyway, you’ll figure it out for yourself—you’ve got a good head on your shoulders. 1.2250 0.05329 80 64 14 2
2698 You are not responsible for everyone's paper cuts. 1.2250 0.05893 80 66 10 4
2699 Yeah, I get it a lot, but I did not grow up in Brooklyn. 1.2247 0.05240 89 72 14 3
2700 So you say everyone loves your head and hates your body? 1.2247 0.05240 89 72 14 3
2701 I say it's broccoli and I say the hell with it. 1.2247 0.05240 89 72 14 3
2702 Let’s reframe- do not compare yourself to a snowflake. You are just as unique and beautiful. 1.2247 0.05240 89 72 14 3
2703 So you think you were spoiled at young age? 1.2247 0.04449 89 69 20 0
2704 Just because Bush didn’t like you, that doesn’t negate your recent popularity! 1.2247 0.05478 89 73 12 4
2705 We would have a better chance of getting to the roots of your problems if you would stop beating around the bush. 1.2247 0.04728 89 70 18 1
2706 But you told me that you WANTED to branch out. 1.2247 0.05240 89 72 14 3
2707 Well of course you feel empty inside, you're completely hollow. 1.2247 0.05478 89 73 12 4
2708 "So, tell me how the Vegan touched you." 1.2247 0.05240 89 72 14 3
2709 How old were you when you started resenting your mother for taking you to a tree trimmer instead of a barber? 1.2247 0.04990 89 71 16 2
2710 Nothing's wrong with you, Bob. People just don't appreciate your taste. 1.2247 0.05240 89 72 14 3
2711 Tell me more about this ‘beef’ you say people have with you. 1.2247 0.04990 89 71 16 2
2712 Why would you EVER want to be kale? 1.2247 0.04990 89 71 16 2
2713 What makes you think children hate you? 1.2247 0.04728 89 70 18 1
2714 Get real, Brock: You're a side dish and always will be. Sorry! 1.2245 0.04925 98 79 16 3
2715 Dreams can come true 1.2245 0.04925 98 79 16 3
2716 You should loosen up a bit. Not be so wooden. 1.2245 0.04707 98 78 18 2
2717 Have you ever considered splitting up? 1.2245 0.04707 98 78 18 2
2718 And how does it make you feel when they all leave you? 1.2243 0.04466 107 85 20 2
2719 So Covid has you sapped? 1.2243 0.04466 107 85 20 2
2720 Here's the reality: not everybody likes broccoli. 1.2243 0.04263 107 84 22 1
2721 You need to take stalk of your life. 1.2243 0.04466 107 85 20 2
2722 So how does it feel to be hated by George H.W. Bush"? 1.2241 0.04596 116 94 18 4
2723 So you want to be a green bean,yeah and I want to be George Clooney. 1.2239 0.05947 67 54 11 2
2724 What in god's green earth has gotten in to you, son? 1.2239 0.05947 67 54 11 2
2725 Are you willing to acknowledge your shadiness? 1.2237 0.05164 76 60 15 1
2726 Despite your goodness and all you have to offer, many will find you disgusting and that's okay. 1.2237 0.05803 76 62 11 3
2727 You are a tree. Why do you think that you are a broccoli ? 1.2237 0.05803 76 62 11 3
2728 Veggie Tales isn't real, it can't hurt you. 1.2237 0.05164 76 60 15 1
2729 My head’s all over the place! 1.2237 0.05164 76 60 15 1
2730 I'm just not sure that it's healthy to have higher expectations for yourself... I mean, you're broccoli. 1.2237 0.05493 76 61 13 2
2731 And do you recall the year your cruciferixion complex began? 1.2237 0.06098 76 63 9 4
2732 I'm sorry for your loss. My mother was also fed under the table to the dog. 1.2237 0.05803 76 62 11 3
2733 Can I get you a tissue? Or a rake? 1.2237 0.05803 76 62 11 3
2734 I'm not suggesting give up your roots, just try to branch out more. 1.2237 0.05164 76 60 15 1
2735 How long have you been feeling steamed? 1.2235 0.04844 85 67 17 1
2736 Mr. Cauliflower,as a person of color, I highly suggest you don’t paint yourself green for your broccoli joke. 1.2235 0.05645 85 70 11 4
2737 But first, you have to learn to love yourself. 1.2235 0.05125 85 68 15 2
2738 BLM has legitimate reservations. You're green and that is not an afro. 1.2235 0.05125 85 68 15 2
2739 So, what are you steamed about this week? 1.2235 0.05391 85 69 13 3
2740 You're wrong. Broccoli stalks are special. 1.2235 0.04844 85 67 17 1
2741 Do you need a hug? 1.2235 0.04844 85 67 17 1
2742 George Bush is dead. Move on. 1.2235 0.05645 85 70 11 4
2743 Your boss said, ‘Nobody wants to work anymore,’ so you got steamed and told him, ‘Eat me,’ and he tried to? Wow. Lots to unpack here. 1.2235 0.05645 85 70 11 4
2744 Now tell me why you think you have a stalker? 1.2235 0.05125 85 68 15 2
2745 To be fair, I don't like you either. 1.2235 0.04844 85 67 17 1
2746 I really think it's time for you to turn over a new leaf. 1.2235 0.05391 85 69 13 3
2747 Doc, I keep having the same dream. I’m alone in the forest, I am falling, and no one hears me. 1.2235 0.05391 85 69 13 3
2748 To be brutally honest, I didn't like you as a kid either. 1.2234 0.05052 94 76 15 3
2749 I bet the Giving Tree would give his friend some insider trading. 1.2234 0.05273 94 77 13 4
2750 Topsoil is the root of your problem! 1.2234 0.05486 94 78 11 5
2751 I honestly don't think it's anything to get steamed up about. 1.2234 0.05052 94 76 15 3
2752 I'm afraid our time here has been fruitless 1.2233 0.04766 103 83 17 3
2753 You need to get off the couch and stop being a vegetable. 1.2233 0.04962 103 84 15 4
2754 I understand why you’re steamed. 1.2232 0.04696 112 91 17 4
2755 Let's get in touch with your inner sprout... 1.2222 0.05423 90 74 12 4
2756 I told you already, it's not murder if the lumberjack chopped down your friends and family. 1.2222 0.05087 99 81 14 4
2757 It's OK now. Papa Bush has left the White House. 1.2222 0.05556 81 66 12 3
2758 I taught the weeping willow how to cry, cry, cry. 1.2222 0.05672 72 58 12 2
2759 I’m not sure that ‘vegetative state’ is necessarily a pejorative. 1.2222 0.05316 72 57 14 1
2760 Your results came back fine. But you’re still in a vegetable state. 1.2222 0.04665 99 79 18 2
2761 Listen, losing your leaves happens to a lot of trees. It’s nothing to be ashamed of. 1.2222 0.04969 81 64 16 1
2762 But you are, infact, broccoli 1.2222 0.05087 99 81 14 4
2763 No beating around the bush. How does that really make you feel? 1.2222 0.05648 90 75 10 5
2764 It’s time for you to turn over a new leaf. 1.2222 0.04407 90 70 20 0
2765 Plant based diet... Thoughts? 1.2222 0.04969 81 64 16 1
2766 How long have you felt like a twig? 1.2222 0.05270 81 65 14 2
2767 I don't know why your bad hair days haven't dropped off now that winter is almost here. 1.2222 0.05188 90 73 14 3
2768 Let's start with your earliest sapling memories. 1.2222 0.04438 99 78 20 1
2769 Sadly, none of us can hold onto our leaves forever. 1.2222 0.05556 81 66 12 3
2770 I wanna branch out, but I feel uprooted. 1.2222 0.05270 81 65 14 2
2771 I warned you not to read “The Overstory.” 1.2222 0.05270 81 65 14 2
2772 Let's explore why you feel like they are stalking you. 1.2222 0.04969 81 64 16 1
2773 Why do you feel you need to fall to be heard? 1.2222 0.05827 81 67 10 4
2774 Not everyone can be pizza crust. 1.2222 0.05556 81 66 12 3
2775 It happens every fall. I even got a permanent once, but they all fell out anyway. 1.2212 0.04918 104 85 15 4
2776 I suspect you are suffering from a garden variety case of florets. 1.2211 0.04775 95 76 17 2
2777 My advice. Lose the fro and try some dreads. 1.2211 0.04534 95 75 19 1
2778 What brings you to this neck of the woods? 1.2211 0.05004 95 77 15 3
2779 Were you threatened by the cheese? 1.2211 0.04775 95 76 17 2
2780 Sure, uneasy lies the head that wears a crown, but you need to deal with it. 1.2211 0.05223 95 78 13 4
2781 So, first it was the birds, then the dogs? 1.2211 0.04775 95 76 17 2
2782 ``You're not cauliflower. You will never be cauliflower. You're broccoli. Understand? Broccoli. Now get used to it!' 1.2211 0.05004 95 77 15 3
2783 It's natural...you want to get ahead. 1.2209 0.05072 86 69 15 2
2784 First of all, no one asked you to lie down. 1.2209 0.05335 86 70 13 3
2785 Do you think you that people might not like because maybe you don't like yourself? 1.2209 0.05335 86 70 13 3
2786 The other children were relentless about my cauliflower ears. 1.2209 0.05585 86 71 11 4
2787 Start from the beginning. Where did you sprout? 1.2209 0.05072 86 69 15 2
2788 I haven't had a hug since the 70's. 1.2209 0.05585 86 71 11 4
2789 When you say children don't like you, don't you think that sounds a little paranoid. 1.2209 0.05072 86 69 15 2
2790 Well, you know what they say, if you're not at the table you're on the... Oh never mind. 1.2209 0.05335 86 70 13 3
2791 We both could use some fresh air and a chance to stretch our limbs 1.2209 0.04500 86 67 19 0
2792 Why do you feel the answer is blowing in the wind. 1.2209 0.05585 86 71 11 4
2793 You're handling things well. It's hard for some to pull up roots and move to the big city. 1.2209 0.05585 86 71 11 4
2794 So just relax and try to tell me what's in your head. 1.2209 0.04794 86 68 17 1
2795 Not everyone has to like everyone. 1.2209 0.05585 86 71 11 4
2796 You can’t blame yourself, plenty of people don’t like dentists either. 1.2208 0.05104 77 61 15 1
2797 And what makes you think that everyone hates you? 1.2208 0.05104 77 61 15 1
2798 Your coming to see me? That, alone, shows you've got some brassica. 1.2208 0.05735 77 63 11 3
2799 Sometimes an axe is just an axe. 1.2208 0.04758 77 60 17 0
2800 It's also known as aubergine envy. 1.2208 0.06026 77 64 9 4
2801 I’ve been in the fridge for three weeks now. Three weeks! He doesn’t even look at me anymore, let alone touch me. 1.2208 0.05429 77 62 13 2
2802 Nutrition therapy 1.2208 0.05104 77 61 15 1
2803 And what prompted this envy towards the avocado? 1.2208 0.06026 77 64 9 4
2804 Look, if you want to experience real growth, you’re going to have to face your fear of heights. 1.2208 0.05104 77 61 15 1
2805 Let’s focus on the people that like you—there’s about three. 1.2208 0.05429 77 62 13 2
2806 Maybe there was no-one in the forest to hear the sound of your fall. 1.2206 0.05869 68 55 11 2
2807 The best I can do for you, dude, is call a guy with a spade to make you a home. 1.2206 0.05869 68 55 11 2
2808 Nobody loves me I don't love them either and no one cares about my emotions 1.2206 0.06231 68 56 9 3
2809 So you feel inferior because you were grafted and not born from a seed? 1.2202 0.05108 109 91 12 6
2810 So you’re telling me this time every year you’re entire family gets massacred? 1.2200 0.05238 100 83 12 5
2811 Sometimes these feelings can feel very raw... 1.2198 0.05136 91 74 14 3
2812 Don't you think it's time to branch out? 1.2198 0.04636 91 72 18 1
2813 Have you ever considered taking a grain of salt? 1.2198 0.04636 91 72 18 1
2814 Don’t try to throw shade on me. It’s YOUR job to get back to your roots! 1.2198 0.04636 91 72 18 1
2815 What makes you think you are the root of the problem? 1.2198 0.05136 91 74 14 3
2816 I’m with you on the hair thing, it’s just awful! 1.2198 0.05136 91 74 14 3
2817 In reality, she, kale is a 10 and you, broccoli are a 5. 1.2198 0.04636 91 72 18 1
2818 I see a lot of personal growth here. 1.2198 0.05591 91 76 10 5
2819 Make like a tree and leave. 1.2198 0.04636 91 72 18 1
2820 It sounds like you’re constantly reinventing yourself; have you always been such a people pleaser? 1.2198 0.04893 91 73 16 2
2821 Now tell me exactly what is troubling you 1.2198 0.05136 91 74 14 3
2822 So, it all started, when you weren't promoted to branch manager? 1.2195 0.05213 82 66 14 2
2823 So let me get this right, you fell over and no-one heard your cries for help.... 1.2195 0.05213 82 66 14 2
2824 So, you think your deciduous & you want to be coniferous, that’s your presenting problem? 1.2195 0.05494 82 67 12 3
2825 Being cruciferous is different from being crucified 1.2195 0.05762 82 68 10 4
2826 We psychoanalysts don’t usually answer hypothetical questions, but yes: If you fall in a forest and no one is there to hear it, you still make a sound. 1.2195 0.05494 82 67 12 3
2827 What would you say to that scared little acorn? 1.2195 0.04916 82 65 16 1
2828 Not sure what you mean by 'nature calls'? 1.2195 0.05494 82 67 12 3
2829 You went to the costume party as Broccoli, But everyone said, ‘Hey, nice climate change Tree.” How do you feel about that? 1.2195 0.05494 82 67 12 3
2830 Yeah, no one likes broccoli. Little trees, on the other hand… 1.2195 0.05494 82 67 12 3
2831 People look at me and assume I'm so "healthy." 1.2195 0.05213 82 66 14 2
2832 We're going to need to dig deep to get to the root of your problems 1.2195 0.05494 82 67 12 3
2833 I'm sorry, I think our sessions are just exacerbating your wind trauma. 1.2195 0.05494 82 67 12 3
2834 So would you rather be referred to as a Crucifer or a Brassica? 1.2192 0.05251 73 58 14 1
2835 Of course you have Seasonal Affective Disorder. 1.2192 0.05602 73 59 12 2
2836 After telling me how proud you are of being a tree, it must be so frustrating to have people constantly mistaking you for a stalk of broccoli. 1.2192 0.05251 73 58 14 1
2837 There's more to life than cultivating a growth mindset. 1.2192 0.05602 73 59 12 2
2838 No, you don't look remotely like broccoli . . . 1.2192 0.05932 73 60 10 3
2839 I would not take it personally that there is no Charlie Brown Arbor Day holiday special. 1.2192 0.05251 73 58 14 1
2840 The tree didn't fall far from that tree just isn't making any sense. 1.2190 0.04684 105 85 17 3
2841 "So your recurring nightmares began after you read "The Lorax. 1.2188 0.04730 96 77 17 2
2842 Just because all your friends lose their leaves, you don’t have to. You’re an evergreen. 1.2188 0.05173 96 79 13 4
2843 I hope you do not take offense if I move my chair 6 ' away" 1.2188 0.04730 96 77 17 2
2844 is this just another one of your veggie tales? 1.2188 0.04730 96 77 17 2
2845 And how did that feel, when you first realized that people were avoiding you? 1.2188 0.04957 96 78 15 3
2846 I dispute your allegation that I’m appropriating broccoli culture, but I’m glad you were finally able to express your feelings about it. 1.2188 0.06087 64 52 10 2
2847 As a fan, I share your angst about replacing Daniel Craig. 1.2188 0.04492 96 76 19 1
2848 ...and was your father a deciduous too? 1.2188 0.04957 96 78 15 3
2849 The Giving Tree is a work of fiction, not the gold standard for behavior. 1.2188 0.06481 64 53 8 3
2850 I think we both should start seeing other species.” 1.2188 0.05173 96 79 13 4
2851 I don't think imposter syndrome is an unreasonable diagnosis. 1.2188 0.05381 96 80 11 5
2852 We haven’t yet explored why you think people would chose you to stare at. 1.2188 0.04730 96 77 17 2
2853 You go bald every winter, deal with it . 1.2184 0.05279 87 71 13 3
2854 Maybe if you tried a little less Hollandaise. 1.2184 0.05019 87 70 15 2
2855 How do feel about mayonnaise? 1.2184 0.05279 87 71 13 3
2856 I feel so rootless 1.2184 0.04455 87 68 19 0
2857 You can’t blame your mother, you don’t have a mother. 1.2179 0.05668 78 64 11 3
2858 And then fall comes around, and everybody leaves! 1.2179 0.05046 78 62 15 1
2859 It seems that you are ripe and ready. What's cookin'? 1.2179 0.06228 78 66 7 5
2860 Mr Broccoli, how long have you had this fantasy about producing James Bind films? 1.2179 0.05366 78 63 13 2
2861 unfortunately we can't all be florets 1.2179 0.05954 78 65 9 4
2862 I find it hard to believe anyone would want to touch you. 1.2179 0.05668 78 64 11 3
2863 So, tell me about that squirrel again... 1.2179 0.05668 78 64 11 3
2864 I want you to know your sound is valid no matter how alone you are. 1.2179 0.05366 78 63 13 2
2865 Okay Broc, last week we tried rice, and the week before was cheese. What comfort shall we try this week? 1.2179 0.05366 78 63 13 2
2866 Have you tried putting down some roots? 1.2179 0.05046 78 62 15 1
2867 You can't make someone like you. 1.2179 0.05954 78 65 9 4
2868 I’m sorry. You’re a vegetable, not at tree. You need to figure out how to be comfortable in your own stalk. 1.2178 0.04794 101 82 16 3
2869 Maybe you need to grow some apples. 1.2178 0.05378 101 85 10 6
2870 Wood you feel you don't feel treemendous any longer?..... Did I stump you? 1.2178 0.04582 101 81 18 2
2871 Don't let your former life as a cauliflower go to your head! 1.2178 0.04794 101 82 16 3
2872 Take as much thyme as you need. 1.2178 0.04996 101 83 14 4
2873 I think that I shall never see a tree as pretty as thee! 1.2178 0.05378 101 85 10 6
2874 'This is out third session and I'm still having trouble finding the roots of your problems.' 1.2178 0.05190 101 84 12 5
2875 Even Joyce Kilmer wouldn’t wear that outfit: Have you considered another profession rather than gardener? 1.2174 0.04324 92 72 20 0
2876 So you see your mother as the root of your problems? 1.2174 0.04845 92 74 16 2
2877 It's just a koan; naturally the sound you make does matter. 1.2174 0.04845 92 74 16 2
2878 What wood seem to be the problem? 1.2174 0.05535 92 77 10 5
2879 Any idea what might be causing your anxiety on this beautiful day in California? 1.2174 0.05315 92 76 12 4
2880 So do you identify more as a tree, or as a stalk of broccoli? 1.2174 0.05315 92 76 12 4
2881 It’s not in your head. A lot of people just don’t like you. 1.2174 0.05792 69 56 11 2
2882 In your case I think the apple did fall pretty far. 1.2170 0.04834 106 87 15 4
2883 Well strictly speaking in your case I wouldn't call fear of matches of phobia. 1.2170 0.04834 106 87 15 4
2884 You make children cry, Mr. Greenwood, because you taste and smell disgusting. 1.2169 0.05434 83 68 12 3
2885 You’re broccoli; I’m a black guy. We each have a president named George Bush who doesn’t like us! 1.2169 0.05434 83 68 12 3
2886 So your roots are not the real issue, it's that you can't sleep on your belly? 1.2169 0.05698 83 69 10 4
2887 They said you are what you eat not that you become what you eat. 1.2169 0.04863 83 66 16 1
2888 But we need to talk about why you feel uprooted. 1.2169 0.05156 83 67 14 2
2889 I think the key here is to find the root of your anxiety. 1.2169 0.05434 83 68 12 3
2890 This is a very unusual reaction to the Covid vaccination. 1.2169 0.05698 83 69 10 4
2891 So Ms Broccoli when did start to feel rejected by children? 1.2169 0.04551 83 65 18 0
2892 So you think your leaf loss is due to stress? 1.2169 0.05434 83 68 12 3
2893 I just don’t know why nobody likes you 1.2169 0.04863 83 66 16 1
2894 I am not mocking you by asking you to keep a daily log. 1.2169 0.05950 83 70 8 5
2895 And when did you decide to branch out? 1.2169 0.05156 83 67 14 2
2896 Well, to quote Kermit, “It’s not easy being green”. 1.2169 0.04863 83 66 16 1
2897 It’s not climate change, you aren’t deciduous 1.2165 0.04452 97 77 19 1
2898 I see. So if he gets to be Broccoli Rabe, you want to be Broccoli Doug. 1.2165 0.05330 97 81 11 5
2899 Well, Broccoli, you don’t have to fear being eaten. Nobody likes you, anyway. 1.2165 0.04687 97 78 17 2
2900 Rejection is always difficult. Forget about what those pirates, George Washington impersonators, and Ikea said. 1.2165 0.04203 97 76 21 0
2901 So you say kids never liked you? 1.2165 0.04910 97 79 15 3
2902 Quit trying to stump me. 1.2165 0.04910 97 79 15 3
2903 Identity crisis: tree or broccoli? Stumps me. 1.2162 0.05188 74 59 14 1
2904 You're queen of the vegetables. It's ok to have a big head. 1.2162 0.04818 74 58 16 0
2905 But isnt it hard being green , Mr Broccoli ? 1.2162 0.05533 74 60 12 2
2906 It doesn’t matter if they don’t know whether you’re a tree or a bush, be proud of your roots! 1.2162 0.05533 74 60 12 2
2907 Oak-ay! You're right! It's a beech that she's more poplar than yew. 1.2162 0.05533 74 60 12 2
2908 So you’re afraid if you fall no one will hear it? 1.2162 0.05533 74 60 12 2
2909 Yes, I think uprootednessphobia could be one of your problems. I will cover that in my analysis. 1.2162 0.05533 74 60 12 2
2910 I hear you can experience catharsis by finding your roots! 1.2162 0.05188 74 59 14 1
2911 I just wish you didn't stalk me. 1.2162 0.05533 74 60 12 2
2912 So, when did you begin talking to trees? 1.2162 0.05188 74 59 14 1
2913 I simply don't have the capacity to accommodate you 5 times a day. 1.2159 0.04968 88 71 15 2
2914 It doesn't matter what people think. You're the main dish in your own life. 1.2159 0.04698 88 70 17 1
2915 So people see you as broccoli, but your 'true self' is really a tree. 1.2159 0.04698 88 70 17 1
2916 Listen, sometimes in life you just have to green it and bear it. 1.2159 0.05225 88 72 13 3
2917 Barking up the wrong tree” is not meant to be directed at you. 1.2159 0.05225 88 72 13 3
2918 I told you to stop stalking me! 1.2159 0.04698 88 70 17 1
2919 I suggested you take a mental health day,not an Arbor Day. 1.2159 0.05225 88 72 13 3
2920 So -- when did you first conclude that nobody likes you? 1.2159 0.05225 88 72 13 3
2921 So, the leaves are causing abandonment issues? 1.2159 0.04411 88 69 19 0
2922 Looks like we’ll have to involve the copse. 1.2159 0.05703 88 74 9 5
2923 I’m confused, he says he only likes you raw? 1.2159 0.05225 88 72 13 3
2924 You know getting steamed all the time isn't exactly helping your reputation. 1.2159 0.04698 88 70 17 1
2925 We’ll, yes - I’m afraid Black Lives Matter but broc lives do not. 1.2159 0.04968 88 71 15 2
2926 If you were a psychiatrist. What kind of psychiatrist would you be? 1.2159 0.04968 88 71 15 2
2927 My life has been uprooted ever since my tree hugger left me. 1.2159 0.04968 88 71 15 2
2928 I think we are getting at the root of your psychological issues. 1.2159 0.04698 88 70 17 1
2929 Well to tell you the truth, you have me stumped with that one... 1.2157 0.04323 102 81 20 1
2930 What are you here to stalk about today? 1.2157 0.04542 102 82 18 2
2931 How do you feel about your father being a broccolini? 1.2157 0.04751 102 83 16 3
2932 On the other hand, your deep-seated bitterness protects you from becoming lunch. 1.2157 0.05329 102 86 10 6
2933 Let’s discuss the feeling that you’ve been uprooted. 1.2154 0.06390 65 54 8 3
2934 And when did you start having these dreams about steam? 1.2154 0.06002 65 53 10 2
2935 My kids don't you either. 1.2152 0.04990 79 63 15 1
2936 I understand you're insecure, but not everyone wants to cut you down. 1.2152 0.05603 79 65 11 3
2937 The fact that they're going to cut you down doesn't mean they don't love you. 1.2152 0.05305 79 64 13 2
2938 Okay, I think I see the root of your problems. 1.2152 0.04653 79 62 17 0
2939 You can’t base your life on how many “likes” you get. 1.2152 0.04653 79 62 17 0
2940 Repeat after me: other people's opinion of me is none of my business. 1.2152 0.05305 79 64 13 2
2941 Could you just scoot over a little to make room for me? 1.2152 0.05305 79 64 13 2
2942 So you say kids hated you... but what happened when they became adults and got to know you? 1.2152 0.04990 79 63 15 1
2943 I don't mean to criticize, but I find your responses a bit wooden. 1.2152 0.04990 79 63 15 1
2944 You're not Italian and you're not in the Mob. So get over it. 1.2152 0.05603 79 65 11 3
2945 Since money doesn't grow on trees, how will you pay my bill? 1.2152 0.05305 79 64 13 2
2946 You may want to consider the possibility that it's all in your head. 1.2152 0.05603 79 65 11 3
2947 We have to stop now,I have a two o'clock with a self loathing asparagus. 1.2152 0.05603 79 65 11 3
2948 You'd be better with some Hollandaise on that growth 1.2152 0.05603 79 65 11 3
2949 How long have you felt uprooted? 1.2152 0.05305 79 64 13 2
2950 Accept it - not every tree can be a Christmas tree 1.2152 0.05305 79 64 13 2
2951 I saw your parents at the store. 1.2152 0.05305 79 64 13 2
2952 Is celery stalking you again? 1.2152 0.06155 79 67 7 5
2953 So when did you seem to fall into this vegetative state? 1.2152 0.05305 79 64 13 2
2954 So, to clarify, you fell in the woods and no one heard you , so you're having an existential crisis? 1.2152 0.05305 79 64 13 2
2955 In your case, chronic wood is structural, not behavioral. 1.2151 0.04798 93 75 16 2
2956 It's not that easy being green. 1.2151 0.04798 93 75 16 2
2957 Why were you stalking? 1.2151 0.05481 93 78 10 5
2958 You’ve been falsely accused of stalking? Just keep telling yourself—it ain’t easy being green. 1.2151 0.04798 93 75 16 2
2959 One word: "Rabe." 1.2151 0.05036 93 76 14 3
2960 Wardrobe, stat! This scene calls for a couch potato! 1.2151 0.05036 93 76 14 3
2961 Lie there much longer and you’re going to grow roots! 1.2151 0.05036 93 76 14 3
2962 I’m your therapist, not a tree hugger 1.2151 0.04548 93 74 18 1
2963 I'm sorry. I thought you were broccoli. I hate broccoli. 1.2151 0.04548 93 74 18 1
2964 You just need to get back to your roots. 1.2151 0.04284 93 73 20 0
2965 Perhaps if you changed your hair style? 1.2150 0.04605 107 87 17 3
2966 Someone tried to behead me! 1.2150 0.04410 107 86 19 2
2967 I don't know about friends, but I'm ready to be acquaintances. 1.2143 0.04644 98 79 17 2
2968 I dread winter when I lose my head of hair. 1.2143 0.05101 84 68 14 2
2969 Tony Soprano used to fire bullets into your trunk? Poor you” 1.2143 0.05101 84 68 14 2
2970 Lots of trees are deciduous. 1.2143 0.05101 84 68 14 2
2971 You want more hugs, I suppose. 1.2143 0.05375 84 69 12 3
2972 I've decided to go green! 1.2143 0.04812 84 67 16 1
2973 Well, what do you think you could do to make children like you? 1.2143 0.05636 84 70 10 4
2974 Mr. Pine, I don't believe they intentionally failed to water you regularly. 1.2143 0.05101 84 68 14 2
2975 We've talked about this in prior sessions; not everyone dislikes you. 1.2143 0.05101 84 68 14 2
2976 I have a confession to make too: this isn’t a real cityscape behind me. It’s a poster. 1.2143 0.05375 84 69 12 3
2977 I agree. Being a broccoli ain't easy. 1.2143 0.04812 84 67 16 1
2978 You seem to be quite bitter. Perhaps that is why so many children dislike you? 1.2143 0.05375 84 69 12 3
2979 You seem very melon-ccoli lately 1.2143 0.04865 98 80 15 3
2980 So tell me how you feel about dogs 1.2143 0.05101 84 68 14 2
2981 I've identified the root of your problems, but I think a podiatrist is more adept to handle them. 1.2143 0.05636 84 70 10 4
2982 I'd like to know more about your roots. 1.2143 0.05375 84 69 12 3
2983 It takes more than a prodigious amount of iron to be well-rounded 1.2143 0.04644 98 79 17 2
2984 I can see why the phrase "Getting to the root of your problem." is confusing. 1.2143 0.04812 84 67 16 1
2985 You've got to stop branching out. You're ruining your image 1.2143 0.04166 98 77 21 0
2986 People don't hate you it's you have a tendency toward bitterness at times 1.2143 0.04940 70 55 15 0
2987 Yes, being broccoli is probably healthier than eating it. 1.2143 0.05375 84 69 12 3
2988 Let's just cut to it. Tell me what's eating you. 1.2143 0.06068 70 58 9 3
2989 And then I blanched and turned away. 1.2143 0.05342 70 56 13 1
2990 So you say you are depressed because your cheese squeeze left you. 1.2143 0.05101 84 68 14 2
2991 Everything is looking green for you. 1.2143 0.04865 98 80 15 3
2992 Perhaps you would feel more comfortable standing up? 1.2143 0.04865 98 80 15 3
2993 I can refer you to an excellent barber 1.2143 0.05342 70 56 13 1
2994 Did you try Cheddar Cheese? 1.2143 0.05101 84 68 14 2
2995 I'm sorry to say it Mr. Broccolini, but these challenges are not uncommon in blended families. 1.2136 0.04286 103 82 20 1
2996 I assure you,Broccoli,has always been a favorite vegetable in the USA. 1.2136 0.04709 103 84 16 3
2997 So - I understand that you were referred by Dr. Zeuss? 1.2136 0.04907 103 85 14 4
2998 Let's finish up so I can have my ice cream. 1.2135 0.04918 89 72 15 2
2999 They have been telling me to eat my Broccoli... 1.2135 0.04918 89 72 15 2
3000 Your bitterness stems from your head. 1.2135 0.04651 89 71 17 1
3001 I'm afraid wallowing in your own quiche is not one of the 5 stages. 1.2135 0.04918 89 72 15 2
3002 I understand. It’s not easy being green! 1.2135 0.05412 89 74 11 4
3003 Even if people called you bro, they'd still think of you as broccoli. 1.2135 0.04918 89 72 15 2
3004 You'll have to accept that pecans are more popular than walnuts. 1.2135 0.04918 89 72 15 2
3005 If it's mainly your florets that distress you, a hair stylist can help you more than a therapist. 1.2135 0.04918 89 72 15 2
3006 Everyone wants to be liked for themselves, not because they're forced to. But first, you have to like yourself. 1.2135 0.04918 89 72 15 2
3007 You need to get back in touch with your roots. 1.2133 0.05127 75 60 14 1
3008 So you say you get steamed every night at dinner. Do you want to talk more about that? 1.2133 0.04762 75 59 16 0
3009 Just because if you fall in the woods no one will be around to hear you,does not mean no one will listen. 1.2133 0.05787 75 62 10 3
3010 When did you first realize that you are a tree and not a broccoli, Mr. Green? 1.2133 0.05467 75 61 12 2
3011 Now, let's see if we can get to the root of the problem. 1.2133 0.05467 75 61 12 2
3012 Sounds like you’re more of a Receiving Tree 1.2133 0.05467 75 61 12 2
3013 Sorry to be blunt, but I don't like you either. 1.2133 0.05127 75 60 14 1
3014 Malus Domestica? Is that your name or your ailment? 1.2133 0.05467 75 61 12 2
3015 You can't expect everyone to like you, just find strength in those who do. 1.2133 0.05467 75 61 12 2
3016 It's perfectly normal to lose your mind every year. 1.2133 0.05467 75 61 12 2
3017 They don’t hate you, they just don’t know the real you. 1.2133 0.05127 75 60 14 1
3018 The way I see it, there are some terrific options for a portable tree 1.2131 0.05780 61 49 11 1
3019 So, how do you feel about us sharing the same hair style? 1.2131 0.07435 61 53 3 5
3020 So you’re telling me that you feel like you’re living a brocco-lie? 1.2130 0.04931 108 90 13 5
3021 But a tree does grow in Brooklyn 1.2128 0.05427 94 79 10 5
3022 You have to get over your Wild Cabbage days. You're "Cultivated" now 1.2128 0.05212 94 78 12 4
3023 Hey, looks like you have a problem here. Let me a ear.." Olivia Xu, New York City, N.Y 1.2128 0.05427 94 79 10 5
3024 I'm really not a Board certified horticulturist 1.2128 0.04752 94 76 16 2
3025 Sorry about all the smog but it looks like you're well-armed. 1.2128 0.04752 94 76 16 2
3026 Times up for today- we’ll continue talking about your fear of aphids tomorrow. 1.2128 0.04752 94 76 16 2
3027 Do you think you've been eating enough greens lately? 1.2128 0.04505 94 75 18 1
3028 You seem pretty steamed. 1.2128 0.04752 94 76 16 2
3029 And you are here to let go of some of that bitterness? 1.2125 0.05539 80 66 11 3
3030 We're getting off topic here. It doesn't matter if I like you or not. 1.2125 0.05817 80 67 9 4
3031 No, I've never had green hair. 1.2125 0.05817 80 67 9 4
3032 Bird brain is treatable. We start with tinfoil strips 1.2125 0.05817 80 67 9 4
3033 So, what is the root of your problem? 1.2125 0.05539 80 66 11 3
3034 So . . .you say most adults don't like you and kids hate you? 1.2125 0.05245 80 65 13 2
3035 I recommend that you stop dating carnivores. 1.2125 0.05245 80 65 13 2
3036 I think maybe you should cut back a little on your broccoli intake. 1.2125 0.05539 80 66 11 3
3037 Stop looking for, Bro... coli. 1.2125 0.04934 80 64 15 1
3038 I think we’re really starting to get to the root of the problem. 1.2121 0.05071 66 52 14 0
3039 Have you considered dating root vegetables? 1.2121 0.05030 99 82 13 4
3040 Joyce Kilmer was right! 1.2121 0.05030 99 82 13 4
3041 When did you start to feel that you could never get out of your father's shadow? 1.2121 0.04821 99 81 15 3
3042 Tell me more about this feeling of being uprooted. 1.2121 0.04130 99 78 21 0
3043 Let's get in touch with your inner seedling. 1.2121 0.05030 99 82 13 4
3044 As an acorn, did you feel valued? 1.2118 0.05047 85 69 14 2
3045 If we have one more discussion about Nelson Eddy's versus Perry Como's version of Trees, you're tinder. 1.2118 0.05047 85 69 14 2
3046 The good news is you are not paranoid. The bad news is I am a vegetarian. 1.2118 0.04762 85 68 16 1
3047 Your life isn’t complicated. You’ll be steamed, drowned in ranch dressing, and eaten. Yum. 1.2118 0.05317 85 70 12 3
3048 And then some started hugging me inappropriately, while others chained themselves to my trunk, and still others climbed onto my limbs. I felt violated. 1.2118 0.05047 85 69 14 2
3049 Maybe you're trying too hard with the hairdo. 1.2118 0.05047 85 69 14 2
3050 So you are feeling uprooted and you are having a bad hair day? 1.2118 0.05317 85 70 12 3
3051 I feel the loss of your sense of identity comes from a lack of color in your life. I'm not sure if you're a tree or broccoli either, to be honest. 1.2118 0.05575 85 71 10 4
3052 Can we talk about your obsession with this broccoli costume?" 1.2118 0.05575 85 71 10 4
3053 To me, all this sounds like a word salad. 1.2118 0.04762 85 68 16 1
3054 Fixate on ranch much? 1.2118 0.04762 85 68 16 1
3055 As they say, “You are what you eat.” 1.2118 0.05317 85 70 12 3
3056 The last patient from the Funny Farm was a Couch Potato. 1.2118 0.05317 85 70 12 3
3057 As for getting to the root of you problems, there may be a slight complication... 1.2113 0.05275 71 57 13 1
3058 .Sir I think you need a arborist not a psychiatrist 1.2113 0.05644 71 58 11 2
3059 Believe it or not, Messiah Complex is actually quite rare among my cruciferous patients. 1.2111 0.05119 90 74 13 3
3060 Yes, I agree, putting down roots would be a good idea. 1.2111 0.04869 90 73 15 2
3061 So,do you feel it's time to start branching out? 1.2111 0.04869 90 73 15 2
3062 No, I don't think your name makes you sound "too Italian." 1.2111 0.05357 90 75 11 4
3063 Just wondering when I can finally put my arms down. 1.2111 0.04869 90 73 15 2
3064 You're missing the forest for the trees... 1.2111 0.04605 90 72 17 1
3065 There are worse things in life than being called a stalker. 1.2111 0.04869 90 73 15 2
3066 So your boss said you're a bit too green for a promotion this time around? 1.2111 0.04605 90 72 17 1
3067 It could be worse, you could be kale. 1.2111 0.04869 90 73 15 2
3068 ...so you’re upset by all the attention cauliflower has been getting? 1.2111 0.05119 90 74 13 3
3069 Your anxieties appear to be stemming directly from your head 1.2105 0.05402 76 62 12 2
3070 No. We already tried role reversal. 1.2105 0.05067 76 61 14 1
3071 Conifer envy is common this time of year, but you have a lot to contribute. Have you considered tapping your sap? 1.2105 0.04463 95 76 18 1
3072 He left me for a ConifHer. 1.2105 0.05717 76 63 10 3
3073 In addition to being good for you, you need to be good to you 1.2105 0.04463 95 76 18 1
3074 I find it so difficult to put down roots anywhere 1.2105 0.05067 76 61 14 1
3075 So the tree-huggers finally got to you?! 1.2105 0.04463 95 76 18 1
3076 You say broccoli, I say potato. 1.2105 0.06016 76 64 8 4
3077 You were nuts at the beginning, but you’ve come a long way. 1.2105 0.06016 76 64 8 4
3078 Ah! Wooden identity syndrome! 1.2105 0.05402 76 62 12 2
3079 You know I understand that it's not easy being green. 1.2105 0.04708 95 77 16 2
3080 Being respected is sometimes more important than being liked. 1.2105 0.05067 76 61 14 1
3081 It's been hard finding friends in the city. I just can't seem to find my roots here. 1.2105 0.04740 114 95 14 5
3082 How does climate change make you feel? 1.2105 0.04708 76 60 16 0
3083 Let's begin with your roots. 1.2105 0.04940 95 78 14 3
3084 And just so you know, we don't use paper in this office, I'm sure you appreciate that. 1.2105 0.04940 95 78 14 3
3085 Now that we're becoming plant based, maybe we should discuss reducing your sessions 1.2105 0.04463 95 76 18 1
3086 If I had to go out on a limb I’d say cut it off at the roots 1.2105 0.05161 95 79 12 4
3087 Now tell me...do you really feel a lot of people don't like you? 1.2105 0.05067 76 61 14 1
3088 Your problems are very deep rooted 1.2100 0.04984 100 83 13 4
3089 So mothers everywhere encourage their kids to eat you? 1.2100 0.04984 100 83 13 4
3090 Did you say that your problem is that you're not 'decisive', or not 'deciduous'? 1.2099 0.04880 81 65 15 1
3091 So you had another nightmare about beef and broccoli? 1.2099 0.04880 81 65 15 1
3092 I often feel a bit sappy too. 1.2099 0.04880 81 65 15 1
3093 You're suffering from George Bush inferiority syndrome. 1.2099 0.04880 81 65 15 1
3094 I think the root of your problem is your feet. 1.2099 0.05187 81 66 13 2
3095 I know, but you just don't look like a carrot. 1.2099 0.05476 81 67 11 3
3096 I honestly don't think your problems are deep rooted! Larry Hulse 1.2099 0.05187 81 66 13 2
3097 This feeling you have that everyone hates you stems from the fact that everyone does. 1.2099 0.05476 81 67 11 3
3098 Finally! A footless and fancy tree! 1.2099 0.05476 81 67 11 3
3099 I fell in the forest but nobody heard me! 1.2099 0.05476 81 67 11 3
3100 She told her friends that you were acting like a cauliflower 1.2099 0.05187 81 66 13 2
3101 Now, why do you say "people" are trying to sap your energy? 1.2099 0.04880 81 65 15 1
3102 I'm sorry, but in this greyscale world of ours, I can't seem to tell if you're a tree or a giant broccoli... 1.2099 0.05751 81 68 9 4
3103 Sure, there are branches of psychology, as for the other way around..." 1.2099 0.06013 81 69 7 5
3104 I’m more than just my top 1.2099 0.05187 81 66 13 2
3105 Have you considered dressing? 1.2099 0.04553 81 64 17 0
3106 So when did you first notice the squirrels? 1.2099 0.04880 81 65 15 1
3107 It’s nothing more than a garden variety apprehension that can be uprooted! 1.2097 0.05697 62 50 11 1
3108 So you're here today because you fear your kids don't like you? 1.2093 0.04994 86 70 14 2
3109 What I hear you saying is you think it’s a shady business. 1.2093 0.04994 86 70 14 2
3110 Your problem isn't that you THINK people hate you. You're broccoli. people really DO hate you. 1.2093 0.04994 86 70 14 2
3111 It’s understandable that you would be green with envy. 1.2093 0.05515 86 72 10 4
3112 From one Afro lover to another, you’ve got to learn to let go of your mother. 1.2093 0.05261 86 71 12 3
3113 I didn't mean you should literally branch out! 1.2093 0.04712 86 69 16 1
3114 I like your afro 1.2093 0.05515 86 72 10 4
3115 ”You are not broccoli and children will not eat you. 1.2093 0.05758 86 73 8 5
3116 Everybody is happy until they see me in their dinner." 1.2093 0.04994 86 70 14 2
3117 Listen, just because your friend Cauli is a popular item now, doesn't mean that you have to be green with envy whenever somebody uses him. 1.2093 0.04712 86 69 16 1
3118 Just saying… Maybe a total vegan diet isn’t right for you.” 1.2093 0.04712 86 69 16 1
3119 I guess since your 'Chlorofro' is green, it's not cultural appropriation. 1.2093 0.05758 86 73 8 5
3120 F.Y.I., Norman, the ‘P’ in ‘psycho’ is silent. 1.2093 0.05261 86 71 12 3
3121 So how does it make you feel to be thought of as big-headed? 1.2093 0.04712 86 69 16 1
3122 You think you're hated, try being gay, black and Republican. 1.2091 0.04674 110 91 15 4
3123 "How did it make you feel when the free radicals put up a fight?" 1.2090 0.06214 67 56 8 3
3124 I told you, 'lay off the broccoli'! 1.2090 0.05004 67 53 14 0
3125 If they get to know the real you, they will love you. 1.2088 0.04821 91 74 15 2
3126 Have considered that it's not other people, but the fact that you taste terrible? 1.2088 0.05068 91 75 13 3
3127 I'm sorry but I've moved on to Brussels Sprouts. 1.2088 0.04821 91 74 15 2
3128 So tell me. How long have you had the urge to branch out? 1.2088 0.04821 91 74 15 2
3129 Perhaps you need adventure, another cuisine besides melted American. 1.2088 0.04560 91 73 17 1
3130 After careful consideration, I find that your problem is you’re a tree who identifies as broccoli. 1.2088 0.05068 91 75 13 3
3131 What makes you feel you've lost touch with your roots? 1.2088 0.04560 91 73 17 1
3132 It can be tough to balance your love of nature and your hatred for dogs. 1.2088 0.04821 91 74 15 2
3133 I know you're steamed, but you've got to let the anger go. 1.2088 0.05068 91 75 13 3
3134 Seriously...it's your knotty nature which keeps you from being part of the forest commnuity 1.2088 0.05068 91 75 13 3
3135 We need to figure out what's going on in that head of yours. 1.2088 0.05529 91 77 9 5
3136 Branches are not the root of your problem 1.2088 0.04560 91 73 17 1
3137 Tell me more about your cousin Rabe. 1.2088 0.04284 91 72 19 0
3138 Electric shock treatment will make dogs respect you. 1.2083 0.05210 72 58 13 1
3139 I believe it’s time for you to claim your rightful place at the table. 1.2083 0.05913 72 60 9 3
3140 We need to get to the root of your problem. 1.2083 0.04893 96 79 14 3
3141 I promise you'll like yourself when you grow up. 1.2083 0.04422 96 77 18 1
3142 Next time, I’ll come to you. 1.2083 0.05573 72 59 11 2
3143 Normally I would advise someone in your situation to branch out. 1.2083 0.04422 96 77 18 1
3144 How long have you been dreaming of uprooting? 1.2083 0.05573 72 59 11 2
3145 Unfettered Growth is the root of your problem 1.2083 0.06235 72 61 7 4
3146 Would you feel more comfortable identifying as a Brussels sprout? 1.2083 0.05210 72 58 13 1
3147 Have you told broccoli rabe how you feel? 1.2083 0.05210 72 58 13 1
3148 But you're making sounds now, and that's what counts. 1.2083 0.05573 72 59 11 2
3149 I think some ranch will really help. 1.2083 0.05210 72 58 13 1
3150 To tree or not to tree, that's the question. 1.2079 0.04734 101 83 15 3
3151 So in the Panera dream is the person ordering a bowl of broccoli cheddar or are you part of a You Pick Two? 1.2079 0.04734 101 83 15 3
3152 Right! A buzz cut is too much. How about visiting a goat once a month for a trim? 1.2079 0.04939 101 84 13 4
3153 “Fall is coming soon and I just don’t feel confident without my hair.” 1.2079 0.04734 101 83 15 3
3154 Have you tried putting down roots? 1.2078 0.05338 77 63 12 2
3155 It seems like yesterday that I was a small tasty broccolini! 1.2078 0.05008 77 62 14 1
3156 Don’t exaggerate! There are plenty of people who like you! 1.2078 0.05008 77 62 14 1
3157 Sounds like a bad case of spinach envy. 1.2078 0.05338 77 63 12 2
3158 So I'm hearing you say you need to start branching out more. 1.2078 0.05338 77 63 12 2
3159 Doctor Cain is in: “So, open your heart, mister Abel…” 1.2078 0.05338 77 63 12 2
3160 You're being too sensitive! It's a play on "Gene Shalit" the 80's theater critic not "Jean" Shallot as in your not a manly vegetable! 1.2078 0.05008 77 62 14 1
3161 I would suspect that you are just eating way too much brocolli 1.2078 0.05008 77 62 14 1
3162 I can cure people who think they're Napolean or even God. Tree people are better treated by a horticulturist. 1.2078 0.05338 77 63 12 2
3163 You've come to the right headshrinker. 1.2078 0.05944 77 65 8 4
3164 I see a lot of patients with male pattern baldness this time of year. 1.2078 0.05338 77 63 12 2
3165 So, tell me why you think your children and their friends hate you? 1.2078 0.05008 77 62 14 1
3166 So, you think someone's constantly stalking you? 1.2078 0.05338 77 63 12 2
3167 So, at least this inferiority complex does not extend to brussels sprouts? 1.2073 0.04504 82 65 17 0
3168 Have you suggested Stir-Fry? 1.2073 0.05129 82 67 13 2
3169 Tell me, when did the stalking begin?" 1.2073 0.05129 82 67 13 2
3170 I know I shouldn’t be saying this but you’re my daughter’s favorite. 1.2073 0.04827 82 66 15 1
3171 Have you ever tried talking with children and asking them why they hate you? 1.2073 0.05129 82 67 13 2
3172 You have the most advanced case of "broccolini delusion" that I have ever come across. 1.2073 0.05129 82 67 13 2
3173 I still am struggling to understand if you're a tree or a very large stalk of broccoli. 1.2073 0.04827 82 66 15 1
3174 I'm sorry, I'm a Tree Surgeon not a Psychiatrist. 1.2073 0.05415 82 68 11 3
3175 We all feel the need to be grounded It's just a matter of knowing when and in being comfortable in putting your roots down" 1.2073 0.05129 82 67 13 2
3176 This may be a long treatment, lots of pruning to get to the root of the problem 1.2073 0.05129 82 67 13 2
3177 Just when did you develop this irrational fear of birds? 1.2073 0.05415 82 68 11 3
3178 I know you said you were going to "veg" over the holidays but this is getting out of hand. 1.2073 0.04827 82 66 15 1
3179 Ground your self. 1.2073 0.04827 82 66 15 1
3180 I can’t help you unless you help me. So, I’m going to eat you now. 1.2073 0.04827 82 66 15 1
3181 In this dream, is he wearing plaid or khaki? 1.2073 0.04827 82 66 15 1
3182 Maybe you should stop asking,"Does anybody like me?" And instead ask,"Do 'I' like me?" 1.2073 0.05129 82 67 13 2
3183 What makes you think lots of people don't like you? 1.2073 0.05686 82 69 9 4
3184 I find this visit to be in very poor taste. 1.2069 0.05206 87 72 12 3
3185 Tell me more about your child wood. 1.2069 0.06851 58 49 6 3
3186 I hear your concern but losing your leaves won't make you any less attractive 1.2069 0.04942 87 71 14 2
3187 Frankly, your condition stumps me. 1.2069 0.05206 87 72 12 3
3188 I think you forget, the attention you got from the first President Bush wasn't positive. But your hairstyle was in vogue at the time. 1.2069 0.05206 87 72 12 3
3189 Remember our work together is just to make you more palatable. 1.2069 0.04942 87 71 14 2
3190 I had the same problem, but a little trim did wonders. 1.2069 0.04664 87 70 16 1
3191 But isn't she keto too? 1.2069 0.04942 87 71 14 2
3192 There are medications that could help with the rootless feelings. 1.2069 0.06851 58 49 6 3
3193 Don't let kale get you down . 1.2069 0.04942 87 71 14 2
3194 Your parents were copse? 1.2065 0.05017 92 76 13 3
3195 Yeah I've been boiled. At a damn country club. 1.2065 0.05250 92 77 11 4
3196 I realize that Broccolini is all the rage now, but don't worry, you'll make a comeback!" 1.2065 0.04516 92 74 17 1
3197 No! I am not calling you a briar... 1.2065 0.04516 92 74 17 1
3198 I really don't think their problem is because of your hair. 1.2065 0.04516 92 74 17 1
3199 Maybe the dog barking up the wrong tree is a sign of bigger issues in your relationship 1.2065 0.04516 92 74 17 1
3200 I’d say you are lucky most kids don’t like to eat broccoli. 1.2065 0.04773 92 75 15 2
3201 Do you really feel that covering yourself in cheese sauce is the only way to get people to like you? 1.2065 0.04773 92 75 15 2
3202 So the pressure to keep producing oxygen is just too much. 1.2065 0.05250 92 77 11 4
3203 So, in your dream you are in a pine forest, you are deciduous, and it is late November. 1.2065 0.04773 92 75 15 2
3204 No, you're not mushy, you're a romantic. 1.2065 0.05250 92 77 11 4
3205 Looks like your suffering from a very severe case of Post Treematic Stress Disorder. 1.2062 0.05064 97 81 12 4
3206 I agree life is hard. Lettuce and Chard and Kale look Green but Broccoli Really Is! 1.2062 0.04620 97 79 16 2
3207 So, you didn't take first prize on Halloween. Don't you think it's time to move on?? 1.2062 0.04381 97 78 18 1
3208 Time's up. Remember,next week's session is at my branch office. 1.2062 0.04847 97 80 14 3
3209 I know transference is a no-no, but I just can’t help feeling our hairdoos make us kindred spirits.” 1.2059 0.05760 68 56 10 2
3210 I think that you need to understant that even though his uncle brought your family to America, that it doesn't obligate him to cast you in his Bond movies! 1.2059 0.04258 102 82 19 1
3211 So, if you could be any kind of person, what type would you be? 1.2059 0.04940 68 54 14 0
3212 You have PTSD from your fall in the forest with no one around to hear it. 1.2059 0.05366 68 55 12 1
3213 I’d like you to meet my couch-potato friend. 1.2059 0.04692 102 84 15 3
3214 This Spring, you must tell the leaves about your separation anxiety. 1.2059 0.04023 102 81 21 0
3215 And you feel the headhunter overlooked your qualifications. 1.2059 0.04894 102 85 13 4
3216 You are correct. No one like you. 1.2055 0.05503 73 60 11 2
3217 I say let your freak flag fly. 1.2055 0.05146 73 59 13 1
3218 Let's talk about why you feel no one listens when you fall in the forest? 1.2055 0.05503 73 60 11 2
3219 I can understand how all of this ‘forest bathing’ can trigger your boundary issues. 1.2055 0.05146 73 59 13 1
3220 Celery we wait and see your stalk ? 1.2055 0.04762 73 58 15 0
3221 So you get fried because otherwise people find you bitter? Clearly that's not healthy. 1.2055 0.05146 73 59 13 1
3222 Maybe we should put down some roots somewhere. 1.2055 0.05839 73 61 9 3
3223 Let's put it all on the table. 1.2051 0.04950 78 63 14 1
3224 I didn't even hear that you had fallen! 1.2051 0.05276 78 64 12 2
3225 you are still important. People do like you. 1.2051 0.05276 78 64 12 2
3226 Hey now! Are you throwing shade at me? 1.2051 0.05276 78 64 12 2
3227 I’m not sure payment by floret would be conducive to a safe and supportive environment. 1.2051 0.04950 78 63 14 1
3228 Yes, I'm called a headshrinker, but don't take it literally. 1.2051 0.05276 78 64 12 2
3229 It would help if you didn’t lay around like a vegetable all day. 1.2051 0.04602 78 62 16 0
3230 Your mother told you that an American President said he didn't like Broccoli, that was mean no wonder you have issues stemming from childhood. 1.2051 0.05276 78 64 12 2
3231 And how did the apple falling far away from you make you feel? 1.2051 0.04950 78 63 14 1
3232 Maybe, you really are a tree! 1.2051 0.05276 78 64 12 2
3233 For the last time, if you fall in the forest and no one's around, just text me. 1.2051 0.05583 78 65 10 3
3234 Don’t be afraid to go out on a limb. 1.2051 0.05276 78 64 12 2
3235 You say these changes have started this Fall? 1.2051 0.04950 78 63 14 1
3236 I realize you want to stand alone, but people are used to you in mixed company. 1.2051 0.04602 78 62 16 0
3237 To put your mind at ease consider pruning of your branches like a haircut. 1.2048 0.04775 83 67 15 1
3238 Have you considered cheese sauce? 1.2048 0.05355 83 69 11 3
3239 I think you've lost the connection to your roots. 1.2048 0.04457 83 66 17 0
3240 I think it's time the we get to the root of your problems. 1.2048 0.04775 83 67 15 1
3241 I didn't know what to expect when my receptionist said, 'Here comes the airplane." 1.2048 0.05623 83 70 9 4
3242 Ever since spring I've been feeling like a heavy mess and I just can't shake it off 1.2048 0.05073 83 68 13 2
3243 I feel you’ve been overshadowed by your Mother, and now you’re unable to branch out as an individual. 1.2048 0.05355 83 69 11 3
3244 We can consider a Hollandaise course of treatment. 1.2048 0.05073 83 68 13 2
3245 But you ARE loved. It’s just that cauliflower’s having a monment. 1.2048 0.05355 83 69 11 3
3246 I admire your commitment to to"Going Green" 1.2048 0.05355 83 69 11 3
3247 Look,just having a 'fro is not gonna make you a bro... But I dig it's not easy being green,either... 1.2048 0.04775 83 67 15 1
3248 Does your depression have anything to do with your nine rambunctious broccolini? 1.2048 0.05073 83 68 13 2
3249 Honestly I wouldn’t show my rings on a first date. 1.2048 0.05355 83 69 11 3
3250 Are you just going to veg out all day? 1.2048 0.05623 83 70 9 4
3251 Kids can be so cruel, but calling you 'Linc' from the Mod Squad, well, I can see how that would make you feel. 1.2048 0.04775 83 67 15 1
3252 We can all agree that you are treemendous, but for you to survive, you're going to have to put down roots. 1.2048 0.05355 83 69 11 3
3253 It has to do with where you think money comes from. 1.2048 0.05355 83 69 11 3
3254 So, what's eating you? 1.2045 0.04325 88 70 18 0
3255 I'm really steamed. 1.2045 0.05399 88 74 10 4
3256 After all these years, you're beginning to grow on me. 1.2045 0.05152 88 73 12 3
3257 I can neither confirm nor deny that Blanche Kale is also a patient of mine. 1.2045 0.05152 88 73 12 3
3258 I say "the long game" because it's quite possible that right now your kids just don't like you, but in time, say after their first mild heart attack, they'll come to see you as the great friend most adults believe you to be. 1.2045 0.04891 88 72 14 2
3259 Now let's go back to when you were a little seed in the ground... 1.2045 0.05152 88 73 12 3
3260 Don't worry. Trees lose leaves at different times during the fall. 1.2045 0.04325 88 70 18 0
3261 Well, Ms Kilmer, it appears this all began when your mother named you Joyce! 1.2045 0.05152 88 73 12 3
3262 You say your bark is worse than your bite. What makes you say that? 1.2045 0.05152 88 73 12 3
3263 "Well, we both have one thing in common, a fabulous head of hair" 1.2045 0.04891 88 72 14 2
3264 Look on the bright side,no one will ever accuse you of being a repuglican! 1.2045 0.04617 88 71 16 1
3265 Sounds like a load of cabbage to me. 1.2045 0.04617 88 71 16 1
3266 Color changes are a natural sign of aging. 1.2045 0.04325 88 70 18 0
3267 I had a dram that I became a table. 1.2045 0.04617 88 71 16 1
3268 If trees have shunned you, you may find acceptance in the broccoli community 1.2043 0.04968 93 77 13 3
3269 I think we can get to the root of the problem if you tell me when this phobia about dogs began. 1.2043 0.04727 93 76 15 2
3270 Could we fast forward to autumn before I examine you. 1.2043 0.05418 93 79 9 5
3271 Like fish in the sea, there are more tree huggers in the forest 1.2043 0.04968 93 77 13 3
3272 To be honest, I don't really like you that much either. 1.2043 0.04727 93 76 15 2
3273 You always use the coach 1.2043 0.04204 93 74 19 0
3274 And you think Joyce was talking about you ? 1.2043 0.04727 93 76 15 2
3275 The length of cooking time shouldn't define who you are. 1.2043 0.04473 93 75 17 1
3276 Are you trans tree and not broccoli? 1.2043 0.04727 93 76 15 2
3277 Why is it you think a lot of people can't stand you? 1.2041 0.05016 98 82 12 4
3278 Well, I wouldn't worry about that dream. Sometimes a stalk of brocoli is just a stalk of brocoli. 1.2041 0.04092 98 78 20 0
3279 The Bush's have not been in power in many years now, time to move on. 1.2041 0.04577 98 80 16 2
3280 You'll figure it out. You have a good head on your shoulders. 1.2041 0.04577 98 80 16 2
3281 Look, Bro', sometimes even a natural won't get you where you wanna go. 1.2041 0.04092 98 78 20 0
3282 Try and Romain calm. 1.2041 0.04802 98 81 14 3
3283 We need to find the root of your problem 1.2041 0.04802 98 81 14 3
3284 What you said about the loggers... let's explore that in more depth. 1.2039 0.05043 103 87 11 5
3285 How long have you hated mustard? 1.2037 0.05054 108 92 10 6
3286 I know it feels like all these things in your life are coming to a head. 1.2035 0.04199 113 92 19 2
3287 Mr. Cauliflower, ever since you went to the forest, you've become green with jealousy. I almost mistook you for my next client Mr. Broccoli. 1.2031 0.05968 64 53 9 2
3288 What kind of a sprout never grows up? 1.2029 0.05684 69 57 10 2
3289 I don’t think that’s what’s meant by tree pose. 1.2029 0.05684 69 57 10 2
3290 It looks like your tree-hugging got out of control. 1.2029 0.04877 69 55 14 0
3291 Have you considered mycelium therapy? 1.2029 0.05684 69 57 10 2
3292 If you'd only have come to me as a sapling ... 1.2027 0.04705 74 59 15 0
3293 So how seriously, would you say, you take the idea of 'green living'? 1.2027 0.05435 74 61 11 2
3294 Children hate Brussels sprouts, too, but he’s managing to have a fulfilling career in accounting. 1.2027 0.05435 74 61 11 2
3295 I'm afraid it's all in your head. 1.2027 0.05083 74 60 13 1
3296 No matter how you identify yourself, chances are that not every part of the broccoli nor the tree community will be entirely accepting. 1.2027 0.05766 74 62 9 3
3297 Has it ever occurred to society that maybe I don't like them either? 1.2027 0.05435 74 61 11 2
3298 Sorry, but heavy is the head that wears the crown. 1.2027 0.05435 74 61 11 2
3299 You clearly have a cruciferous complex. Let’s discuss your roots. 1.2027 0.05766 74 62 9 3
3300 I’m sure not ALL children are grossed out by you. 1.2027 0.05083 74 60 13 1
3301 Mr. Oak, don't you get it? You've been cut off at the knees! 1.2027 0.05435 74 61 11 2
3302 I think you’re lucky…cheesiness is usually a turn-off. 1.2025 0.05215 79 65 12 2
3303 So, you say you are "Un-deciduous"? 1.2025 0.05215 79 65 12 2
3304 Are you sure she called you a stalker? 1.2025 0.05215 79 65 12 2
3305 It’s important for you to accept your roots. 1.2025 0.05518 79 66 10 3
3306 Don’t be bitter. 1.2025 0.05518 79 66 10 3
3307 Unfortunately, not everyone is going to like you. Don’t let it eat you up. 1.2025 0.04894 79 64 14 1
3308 I feel like I'm just going to end up like a cheap piece of furniture. 1.2025 0.05518 79 66 10 3
3309 You need a place to put down roots. 1.2025 0.05215 79 65 12 2
3310 So you are pissed off for being pissed on. 1.2025 0.05518 79 66 10 3
3311 Um, I gotta go. Tree's a crowd. 1.2025 0.04894 79 64 14 1
3312 I remember when you were just a head of broccoli. Now look at you. 1.2025 0.04894 79 64 14 1
3313 I wouldn't worry. The next Bond movie will be a hit. 1.2025 0.04894 79 64 14 1
3314 I can’t shake the feeling that people just don’t like me. 1.2025 0.04894 79 64 14 1
3315 I don’t 1.2025 0.05518 79 66 10 3
3316 At least you’re not a Brussels sprout. 1.2025 0.05215 79 65 12 2
3317 Sorry, this is accounting. 1.2025 0.05518 79 66 10 3
3318 At least you don’t feel blue anymore 1.2025 0.05215 79 65 12 2
3319 It sounds to me like your stalking behavior stems from your parents. 1.2025 0.04550 79 63 16 0
3320 You remembering hearing something when you fell. Trust your own experience. 1.2025 0.04550 79 63 16 0
3321 I know you're unconventional Dr. Oak, but shouldn't the patient be on the couch? 1.2024 0.05019 84 69 13 2
3322 I'm not mocking you - it's all natural..... 1.2024 0.05019 84 69 13 2
3323 How long have your arms been stuck in the florets? 1.2024 0.05297 84 70 11 3
3324 So, you feel they changed the atmosphere and now you are the one needing to make up for it all? 1.2024 0.05297 84 70 11 3
3325 You've really got to learn to control your temper. You simply can't afford to get steamed. 1.2024 0.05019 84 69 13 2
3326 If we can’t get you to drop the leaves, how can you change? 1.2024 0.04724 84 68 15 1
3327 You're fine. If you were broccoli instead of a tree, then you would have a reason to think people hate you. 1.2024 0.05297 84 70 11 3
3328 I may look like broccoli, but inside I'm a tree. 1.2024 0.05561 84 71 9 4
3329 I’m sorry that I didn’t tell you that I’m a vegetarian. 1.2024 0.05019 84 69 13 2
3330 Dogs do that because they love you. 1.2024 0.05019 84 69 13 2
3331 I'm sorry but I don't think there's a part for you on The Crown. 1.2024 0.05297 84 70 11 3
3332 Your feeling of uprootedness in your canopy. 1.2024 0.05019 84 69 13 2
3333 And how does your inner floret feel when the kids refuse to eat you? 1.2024 0.05813 84 72 7 5
3334 You don't seem well grounded. Where are your roots again? 1.2024 0.04724 84 68 15 1
3335 So how did you feel when she called you ‘spinach’? 1.2024 0.04724 84 68 15 1
3336 I’m just looking for someone I can talk to 1.2022 0.04570 89 72 16 1
3337 Don't worry . Your crown is leaning the right way . 1.2022 0.04842 89 73 14 2
3338 I see you have taken my advice and have branched out. 1.2022 0.04842 89 73 14 2
3339 All my relationships feel so wooden. 1.2022 0.04570 89 72 16 1
3340 No matter how hard you try you will never be a favorite snack 1.2022 0.04570 89 72 16 1
3341 i’m sorry, hold up— that is stupid as hell 1.2022 0.04842 89 73 14 2
3342 Freud doesn't explicitly mention pruning shears but I think we can substitute them for scissors when we discuss your mother's obsession with giving you a trim 1.2022 0.04842 89 73 14 2
3343 You really should consider putting down roots! 1.2022 0.04842 89 73 14 2
3344 We're here to see the forest. 1.2022 0.04570 89 72 16 1
3345 Maybe try not throwing shade at your mother? 1.2022 0.04842 89 73 14 2
3346 Tell me about your earliest fears of Hollandaise sauce" 1.2022 0.05099 89 74 12 3
3347 Your hairdresser has Covid 1.2022 0.04842 89 73 14 2
3348 Anger management exercises can help when you're feeling steamed." 1.2021 0.05147 94 79 11 4
3349 I'm sad about Sondheim too, but it's Sunday and you need to get back in the park with George. 1.2021 0.05147 94 79 11 4
3350 So, what did you feel when your wife walked in as you were dressing up as a cauliflower? 1.2021 0.04920 94 78 13 3
3351 Okay. I don't like you either - Try wearing some melted cheese next time. 1.2021 0.05365 94 80 9 5
3352 I miss my mycillia. 1.2021 0.04682 94 77 15 2
3353 Want to watch "Chopped" on the food channel? 1.2021 0.05147 94 79 11 4
3354 Can I call you broccoli then? 1.2021 0.04682 94 77 15 2
3355 I’m thinking about getting bangs. 1.2021 0.05147 94 79 11 4
3356 It all stems from separation anxiety. 1.2020 0.04536 99 81 16 2
3357 Your cousin Rapini sounds quite uninhibited. 1.2019 0.04402 104 85 17 2
3358 I tell all my clients,exercise and eating your veg 1.2018 0.04280 109 89 18 2
3359 So, you long to be a bonsai, but feel like a toothpick?" 1.2000 0.05610 70 58 10 2
3360 Have you tried getting out in nature? 1.2000 0.05156 80 66 12 2
3361 I get that they needle you and are sappy, but what was your first memory of hating conifers? 1.2000 0.04364 85 68 17 0
3362 I warned you about "vegging out" so much. 1.2000 0.04525 90 73 16 1
3363 Have you considered group therapy? I’ve got some spinach and kale that you’d pair well with. 1.2000 0.04815 70 56 14 0
3364 Accept what you cannot change. We all get peed on from time to time. 1.2000 0.04793 90 74 14 2
3365 Are you depressed?” “No, but I am a little sap 1.2000 0.05022 75 61 13 1
3366 I am so tired of dogs and men peeing on me! 1.2000 0.05239 85 71 11 3
3367 and you have felt this way since you were a little sprout? 1.2000 0.04389 95 77 17 1
3368 No, you're not imagining it. They actually are coming for you with axes and chainsaws... 1.2000 0.05695 75 63 9 3
3369 You feel helpless about your bark carvings? 1.2000 0.05737 80 68 8 4
3370 Spearhead" and "bold leadership" are frequently used together 1.2000 0.04965 85 70 13 2
3371 Have you considered that being EITHER a sentient broccoli or small tree might be equally wonderful? 1.2000 0.05156 80 66 12 2
3372 I deserve some respect! I am not a couch potato; I am a COVID vegetable 1.2000 0.04793 90 74 14 2
3373 Have you considered covering yourself in chocolate? 1.2000 0.04495 100 82 16 2
3374 A head of broccoli on top of a Slow Poke. And if that's not bad enough, aggh, those legs! 1.2000 0.04872 95 79 13 3
3375 You have to accept the fact that Ranch is not the answer to everything 1.2000 0.04674 85 69 15 1
3376 I guess you really are what you eat 1.2000 0.05156 80 66 12 2
3377 The stock market is unsettling for everyone 1.2000 0.05500 85 72 9 4
3378 I'm sure, deep down, kids really do love you. 1.2000 0.05610 70 58 10 2
3379 It is a jungle in there. 1.2000 0.05454 80 67 10 3
3380 Your mother was wrong unfortunately: it is possible to eat too many greens. 1.2000 0.04839 80 65 14 1
3381 I'm not a cognitive therapist, so don't expect me to figure out what's going on in your head. 1.2000 0.04839 80 65 14 1
3382 I have this recurring dream that I'm broccoli. 1.2000 0.04674 85 69 15 1
3383 What is it that you don't understand about 'A Tree Grows in Brooklyn'? 1.2000 0.04839 80 65 14 1
3384 I totally get that it identifies as broccoli, but I find it changing its pronoun very confusing. 1.2000 0.05460 65 53 11 1
3385 Looks like you used too much conditioner! 1.2000 0.04793 90 74 14 2
3386 And when did these treelusions start? 1.2000 0.05239 85 71 11 3
3387 If you were another kind of tree what tree would you be? 1.2000 0.04965 85 70 13 2
3388 The "bad hair day" excuse for not going out is getting a little old. 1.2000 0.04674 85 69 15 1
3389 Why do you feel you're being stalked? 1.2000 0.05288 90 76 10 4
3390 yes yes you appear to be perfect broccoli but are you organic? 1.2000 0.04839 80 65 14 1
3391 I'm sorry Mr. Broccoli, you are not being paranoid. Nobody really likes you. 1.2000 0.05369 75 62 11 2
3392 You should come join me over here on the couch if you know what’s good for you. 1.2000 0.04500 80 64 16 0
3393 You have a superfood complex. 1.2000 0.06003 75 64 7 4
3394 And you feel the name Julian is the cause of your issues? 1.2000 0.04924 100 84 12 4
3395 Inflexibility is your main problem. 1.2000 0.04674 85 69 15 1
3396 Don't cut yourself down, I really think you're out of the woods. 1.2000 0.05610 70 58 10 2
3397 I'm sorry you have an inferiority complex, but you are a box elder, you know. Last time you were here, you left bugs all over my office. 1.2000 0.04240 90 72 18 0
3398 Hey Woody, you're not a potato. 1.2000 0.05156 80 66 12 2
3399 I don’t know why I am here, I am perfectly healthy. 1.2000 0.04839 80 65 14 1
3400 People always accuse me of stealing...but I'm a broccoli rabe, not a broccoli robber! 1.2000 0.05022 75 61 13 1
3401 There's just so much going on in my head. 1.2000 0.04389 95 77 17 1
3402 Have you tried a treetment? 1.2000 0.04965 85 70 13 2
3403 And how do you feel about flatulence inducement? 1.2000 0.04965 85 70 13 2
3404 Just because the current President doesn’t like you, perhaps the next President will! 1.2000 0.04637 95 78 15 2
3405 I think maybe I took your tree hugging therapy too far. 1.2000 0.04674 85 69 15 1
3406 You may be disliked, but you can still affect positive changes in people. 1.2000 0.04965 85 70 13 2
3407 Cauliflower rice?! Why not broccoli rice? 1.2000 0.05369 75 62 11 2
3408 There's more to you than just your florets. 1.2000 0.05610 70 58 10 2
3409 I can’t continue as your therapist. You’re staining my couch. 1.2000 0.06296 75 65 5 5
3410 Well, I know that H.W. Bush had his problems with you, but I was hoping your confidence would have been MUCH higher after President Obama said he liked Broccoli. 1.2000 0.04389 95 77 17 1
3411 Let’s talk more about your California wildfire traumatic syndromes 1.2000 0.04793 90 74 14 2
3412 What makes you believe that you just woke up in a vegetative state? 1.2000 0.05610 70 58 10 2
3413 You know, you can‘t just run away from your problems. 1.2000 0.04650 75 60 15 0
3414 We should switch places, right? 1.2000 0.04364 85 68 17 0
3415 Some would say the bottom of the food pyramid is least lonely. Plus at least you’re on top of Maslow’s hierarchy. 1.2000 0.05454 80 67 10 3
3416 You're not the first broccoli that thought it was a tree. 1.2000 0.05239 85 71 11 3
3417 Therapy seems useless, everyone still sees me as a STALKER. 1.2000 0.04240 90 72 18 0
3418 You have seasonal affective disorder. 1.2000 0.04766 105 88 13 4
3419 I'm glad you feel at home here, but I can't help feeling like you're stalking me. 1.2000 0.05228 70 57 12 1
3420 So let me get this straight, you keep hearing chopping noises and you think people want to melt cheese on you? 1.2000 0.05228 70 57 12 1
3421 Normally, I'd say it's never too late to start working on yourself, but in this case, it might be. 1.2000 0.04569 105 87 15 3
3422 So let me get this straight - you went to the James Bond fancy dress party as...Cubby Broccoli? 1.2000 0.04839 80 65 14 1
3423 You can’t change that 7/10 of people find you too bitter. At least you’re not toxic. 1.2000 0.04839 80 65 14 1
3424 Doc, sometimes I can't see the forest for the trees. 1.2000 0.05454 80 67 10 3
3425 Why doesn't anyone like me, doc? 1.2000 0.04364 105 86 17 2
3426 That's not exactly what I meant when I said you might consider branching out. 1.2000 0.05228 70 57 12 1
3427 Tell me your earliest memory of your mother making you eat broccoli. 1.2000 0.05239 85 71 11 3
3428 Feel free to go ahead and shed a few. 1.2000 0.04500 80 64 16 0
3429 Getting to the root of your problem" was a poor choice of words 1.2000 0.04525 90 73 16 1
3430 Global warming? I get it. 1.2000 0.05239 85 71 11 3
3431 There's nothing wrong with not liking salads. 1.2000 0.04965 85 70 13 2
3432 You're a stalking victim. Don't disarm yourself. 1.2000 0.04240 90 72 18 0
3433 Have you tried tasting better? 1.2000 0.05500 85 72 9 4
3434 I think your problems stem from the fact that the apple didn't fall far from the tree. 1.2000 0.04650 75 60 15 0
3435 I think you're healthy. 1.2000 0.05156 80 66 12 2
3436 Tell me about the first time a cat got stuck in you. 1.2000 0.05047 90 75 12 3
3437 Sorry, but I just have to know. How does one cope with being universally despised? 1.2000 0.04965 85 70 13 2
3438 Can you elaborate on why you feel cruciformed? 1.2000 0.05695 75 63 9 3
3439 You’ve got a lot on your plate. 1.2000 0.05156 80 66 12 2
3440 So you’re just vegging out all day and also feeling un-rooted. 1.1982 0.04210 111 91 18 2
3441 First things first, sap type. Elm or maple? 1.1981 0.04530 106 88 15 3
3442 No, I don’t believe that happened to you just because you went crazy over the ending of “A Tree Grows In Brooklyn.” 1.1981 0.04724 106 89 13 4
3443 May I call you Albert? 1.1980 0.04671 101 84 14 3
3444 There is no truth to that, cauliflower is vey unpopular 1.1980 0.04454 101 83 16 2
3445 So. why come see me ,I'm a psychologist not a tree surgeon? 1.1979 0.04593 96 79 15 2
3446 But all you have to do is, act naturally! 1.1979 0.04348 96 78 17 1
3447 And to think that as a child I used to hate you." 1.1979 0.04348 96 78 17 1
3448 It’s not that nobody likes you… 1.1979 0.04593 96 79 15 2
3449 You think you have it bad. You should see the low numbers and hate mail that brussels sprouts receive. 1.1978 0.04745 91 75 14 2
3450 Of course, you could always pull up your roots and settle elsewhere… 1.1978 0.04745 91 75 14 2
3451 If you want people to love you, first you have to love yourself. 1.1978 0.04480 91 74 16 1
3452 Let off some steam. 1.1977 0.04625 86 70 15 1
3453 I understand, you are feeling uprooted 1.1977 0.05183 86 72 11 3
3454 What i am hearing you say about climate change is, sometimes you feel as though "you can't catch your breath" 1.1977 0.04320 86 69 17 0
3455 Interesting...And how do you feel when you fall and nobody here's it? 1.1977 0.04625 86 70 15 1
3456 Who is your hairdresser? 1.1977 0.05687 86 74 7 5
3457 You mean you wouldn't be here if it hadn't been for H.W.? 1.1977 0.05441 86 73 9 4
3458 Was you mother one of those trees in the forest? 1.1977 0.05183 86 72 11 3
3459 I'm a New York City native. I'm not a part of the California blend. 1.1977 0.04912 86 71 13 2
3460 So how long have you felt squirrels crawling through your hair? 1.1977 0.05183 86 72 11 3
3461 Please don’t leave. 1.1977 0.04625 86 70 15 1
3462 Broccoli in general is having a tough time with all this salad questions I would advise to just chill out!" 1.1977 0.04320 86 69 17 0
3463 You need to set boudaries with your cheese. 1.1977 0.04625 86 70 15 1
3464 Yes,you’ve always been valued for your head but what about your heart? 1.1977 0.05183 86 72 11 3
3465 It's normal for some trees to feel like a large stalk of broccoli. 1.1977 0.04625 86 70 15 1
3466 I can't tell you because I don't know where all the flowers have gone... 1.1977 0.05441 86 73 9 4
3467 My son's in love with a tomato 1.1977 0.04625 86 70 15 1
3468 I'm sorry but this will be out last appointment. To be honest, I never really cared for you... 1.1975 0.04785 81 66 14 1
3469 It's just hard for me not to throw shade. 1.1975 0.05392 81 68 10 3
3470 I’m worried she only likes me for my long stalk. 1.1975 0.05937 81 70 6 5
3471 Actually -- the word isn't spelled "Treeage" 1.1975 0.05098 81 67 12 2
3472 So you're tired of throwing shade? Tell me more about that. 1.1975 0.04451 81 65 16 0
3473 I don’t think it’s all in your head 1.1975 0.05392 81 68 10 3
3474 Try to forgive yourself for tasting so bad. 1.1975 0.04785 81 66 14 1
3475 Oh Chia! Not again! 1.1975 0.05392 81 68 10 3
3476 You say that you grew up on Brooklyn 1.1975 0.04785 81 66 14 1
3477 Hmm, you say you have nightmares about eating your family? They say eating vegetables can help with that. 1.1975 0.05392 81 68 10 3
3478 But almost half our country welcomes you. 1.1975 0.04785 81 66 14 1
3479 Once you discover who you really are, you won't have to throw shade on everyone you meet. 1.1974 0.05305 76 63 11 2
3480 You're right. It's unfair for them to call you lazy when you're simply in a vegetative state. 1.1974 0.04963 76 62 13 1
3481 Cheer up. "Wooden" isn't necessarily bad. Some women like wood. 1.1974 0.04596 76 61 15 0
3482 I know your parents are both huge, imposing figures, but remember: in the end, they're all bark and no bite. 1.1974 0.04963 76 62 13 1
3483 Please take your roots off my couch. 1.1974 0.04963 76 62 13 1
3484 And did that make you feel upset? Steaming? 1.1974 0.04596 76 61 15 0
3485 Of course, but let's turn a NEW leaf. 1.1974 0.04963 76 62 13 1
3486 I just don't feel in-season. 1.1974 0.05305 76 63 11 2
3487 Why do you think you’re not ready to let go of your leaves this fall? 1.1974 0.04963 76 62 13 1
3488 You need to learn how to not depend on cheese 1.1974 0.04963 76 62 13 1
3489 Let's begin with your first memory as a shrub. 1.1974 0.05305 76 63 11 2
3490 Now, Brock, you've said before how people often confused you with your cousin Rabe. How did that make you feel? 1.1974 0.05305 76 63 11 2
3491 You can’t just lie there and veg out. Talk to me, broccoli. 1.1974 0.05626 76 64 9 3
3492 Have you been getting enough water? 1.1974 0.04963 76 62 13 1
3493 Did you move around a lot as a sapling? 1.1974 0.05305 76 63 11 2
3494 You're too good for her. 1.1972 0.05161 71 58 12 1
3495 So, you thought "Roots-Be-Gone" was a leaf coloring treatment? 1.1972 0.05161 71 58 12 1
3496 To discuss broccoli issues we need to go deep into the id 1.1972 0.05161 71 58 12 1
3497 Lately when she looks at me, she can only sees the forest. But I still need her to see the tree. 1.1972 0.05537 71 59 10 2
3498 Your dream of being cut up and fed into a raging fire is stopping you from putting down roots. 1.1972 0.04755 71 57 14 0
3499 I think you feel guilty about uprooting your whole family. 1.1972 0.05537 71 59 10 2
3500 I just can’t see the forest 1.1972 0.05537 71 59 10 2
3501 No one can be liked by everybody. 1.1972 0.05890 71 60 8 3
3502 When you say you're not used to seeing an anomaly like me in a doctor's office, I was actually thinking the same about you! 1.1970 0.04933 66 53 13 0
3503 I wish I were a clown, then I’d be loved by all kids. 1.1970 0.06190 66 56 7 3
3504 I speak from experience when I say you are using too much product. 1.1967 0.06105 61 51 8 2
3505 Sure Brussels sprouts may be the rage right now but no one wears a cheese sauce like you. 1.1967 0.06105 61 51 8 2
3506 Just because you have been accused of treeson, there is no need to go out on a limb. 1.1961 0.04629 102 85 14 3
3507 Doc...I don't no why but lately I'm overwhelmed by the feeling I was cut down in my prime... 1.1961 0.04629 102 85 14 3
3508 "You're just going to have to learn to live with being unattractive" 1.1961 0.05031 102 87 10 5
3509 I normally advise empty-nesters to branch out. 1.1961 0.04835 102 86 12 4
3510 So you're thinking you bit off more than you can chew? 1.1959 0.04550 97 80 15 2
3511 Sounds like you need to blanch out more. 1.1959 0.04550 97 80 15 2
3512 I think it is time for you to stop the plant based diet. 1.1959 0.05000 97 82 11 4
3513 Cauliflower is even less popular. 1.1959 0.04780 97 81 13 3
3514 Rootlessness is the bane of city dwellers. 1.1957 0.05182 92 78 10 4
3515 So exactly when did you find out your partner was seeing cauliflower behind your back? 1.1957 0.05182 92 78 10 4
3516 If you’re losing your friends, you may want to think about curbing your tendency to give shade. 1.1957 0.04946 92 77 12 3
3517 You're plastic. 1.1957 0.04698 92 76 14 2
3518 Your changing mood swings are at the root of your problems. 1.1957 0.04946 92 77 12 3
3519 Presidents hate me 1.1957 0.04437 92 75 16 1
3520 I think what we might be dealing with is seasonal affective disorder. 1.1957 0.04437 92 75 16 1
3521 Maude, I think you are carrying this vegan diet thing too far. 1.1954 0.04861 87 72 13 2
3522 No, I don't think you have a wooden personality. 1.1954 0.04861 87 72 13 2
3523 Hey . . . Broccoli Floret, it's time to wake up! 1.1954 0.05128 87 73 11 3
3524 You need to exercise! 1.1954 0.05128 87 73 11 3
3525 You are unusually large, but I don’t think you’re actually a tree. 1.1954 0.04276 87 70 17 0
3526 There’s been some mistake, my colleague down the hall treats outworlders. 1.1954 0.05128 87 73 11 3
3527 Mighty oak? Nah, more like brocolli. 1.1954 0.05128 87 73 11 3
3528 Doc, ever since kale came on the scene, I haven't been the same. 1.1954 0.04578 87 71 15 1
3529 So you have a drinking problem, that’s the first step in getting well! 1.1954 0.04578 87 71 15 1
3530 You don't have to have a serious relationship to put roots down. Just meet some fun guy. 1.1954 0.04861 87 72 13 2
3531 You need to get out less. 1.1951 0.05041 82 68 12 2
3532 Vegetable in Chief is already taken,President Biden. 1.1951 0.05041 82 68 12 2
3533 We'll have to stop here, Fall is waiting." 1.1951 0.05041 82 68 12 2
3534 You planning to veg out again this weekend? 1.1951 0.04403 82 66 16 0
3535 Well, some might say the “end of the sidewalk” is actually your mother. 1.1951 0.04733 82 67 14 1
3536 Well, I would be upset, too, if people were just eating my hair without permission. 1.1951 0.04733 82 67 14 1
3537 I’ve had recurring dreams of being reduced to a tooth pick. 1.1951 0.05607 82 70 8 4
3538 I think your past is the root of your problems. 1.1951 0.04733 82 67 14 1
3539 Do you think it’s all in my head? 1.1951 0.04733 82 67 14 1
3540 You can always try to spice it up a bit! 1.1951 0.05041 82 68 12 2
3541 So your having a bad hair day?” 1.1951 0.04403 82 66 16 0
3542 I just feel so rootless. 1.1948 0.05242 77 64 11 2
3543 Have you tried dating someone your own rings? 1.1948 0.05558 77 65 9 3
3544 Frankly, I'm stumped. Sorry, was that insensitive? 1.1948 0.05242 77 64 11 2
3545 And how does not being heard when you fell in the forest make you feel? 1.1948 0.05242 77 64 11 2
3546 So how do you feel now that you've branched out of your comfort zone?? 1.1948 0.04905 77 63 13 1
3547 You need to stop obsessing over Broccolini. He may be tall, slender and supple now, but he’ll end up with a Dad bod too someday. 1.1948 0.05242 77 64 11 2
3548 I’m going out on a limb, but I think you lack roots in the city. 1.1948 0.05242 77 64 11 2
3549 You know identifying with alliums, you're OK with being crushed, right? 1.1948 0.05242 77 64 11 2
3550 You need to focus less on broccoli and more on brocc-me. 1.1948 0.05242 77 64 11 2
3551 Are you sure you wouldn't feel more delicious - um, I mean comfortable - on a bed of rice pilaf? 1.1948 0.04905 77 63 13 1
3552 And you say the birds’ nests don’t bother you? 1.1948 0.04905 77 63 13 1
3553 So you're feeling like you don't want to wear that crown anymore? 1.1948 0.05558 77 65 9 3
3554 No, I’ve never heard of a tree who is afraid of heights. 1.1948 0.05558 77 65 9 3
3555 Why do you feel like nobody likes you? 1.1948 0.05857 77 66 7 4
3556 And when Shel Silverstein reduced your whole life to that one toxic relationship? How did that make you feel? 1.1948 0.05242 77 64 11 2
3557 You look splendid. I love your perm. 1.1948 0.05242 77 64 11 2
3558 I think you missing the root IS the problem. 1.1948 0.04905 77 63 13 1
3559 Let’s not catastrophize! Someday there may be a Thanksgiving Broccoli Casserole…and it may even have crunchy fried onions on top! 1.1948 0.05242 77 64 11 2
3560 I just feel like I've been uprooted,you know? 1.1948 0.04905 77 63 13 1
3561 Look, if you were meant to be a carrot, then you need to be a carrot, no matter what anyone else thinks. 1.1948 0.04905 77 63 13 1
3562 But you admit that you don't like them, either. 1.1944 0.05814 72 61 8 3
3563 Why do you feel like your personality is splintering? 1.1944 0.05467 72 60 10 2
3564 I know you are good for people but are people good for you. 1.1944 0.05814 72 61 8 3
3565 I never can see the forest!!! 1.1944 0.05096 72 59 12 1
3566 So you're saying your childhood arborist is responsible? 1.1944 0.05467 72 60 10 2
3567 I woke up covered in someone else's blood, and my wife was missing, my kids were missing, and I could hear the police banging down the door. But enough about me, you're like a broccoli guy or something? 1.1944 0.06141 72 62 6 4
3568 Once we identify what's rotten in your life, we can discuss the best ways to compost it. 1.1944 0.04697 72 58 14 0
3569 You're all grown up now, and you're just sitting around and doing nothing with your life 1.1944 0.04697 72 58 14 0
3570 So when did you first have this fear that you might be eaten by children? 1.1944 0.05814 72 61 8 3
3571 I have nightmares about being boiled to death or ending up as a crudités next to a slice of carrot 1.1944 0.05467 72 60 10 2
3572 Tell me about growing up in Brooklyn". 1.1944 0.05467 72 60 10 2
3573 i can see we are making headway in branching out, but be care you don't get bored...... 1.1940 0.05722 67 56 9 2
3574 And when The Boy carved his initials into you, how did that feel? 1.1940 0.05312 67 55 11 1
3575 Can you please help. I heard you were the best head-shrink! 1.1939 0.04953 98 83 11 4
3576 It turns out you _are_ what you eat. 1.1939 0.04735 98 82 13 3
3577 I think you have a stalking problem. 1.1935 0.04394 93 76 16 1
3578 Yes. A tasty big head can be a serious issue. 1.1935 0.04652 93 77 14 2
3579 Branch out. Seek new avenues. Roots only represent a bygone era. 1.1935 0.05557 62 51 10 1
3580 We need to get to the root of your problems…literally. 1.1935 0.04394 93 76 16 1
3581 Show me on the doll where the Instant Pot hurt you. 1.1935 0.05130 93 79 10 4
3582 You say you feel wooden and stiff. What does that mean to you? 1.1935 0.04652 93 77 14 2
3583 Your parents were trees, but you could be broccoli. 1.1935 0.05130 93 79 10 4
3584 I think you need to unburden yourself of your parents' cabbage. 1.1935 0.05557 62 51 10 1
3585 Let's discuss your separation anxiety. 1.1935 0.04652 93 77 14 2
3586 Have you considered that your lack of self esteem may be a product of your environment? Perhaps if you moved out of the forest and into a nice broccoli patch... 1.1932 0.05075 88 74 11 3
3587 Of course you're misunderstood. It's a taste thing. 1.1932 0.04810 88 73 13 2
3588 If you want to get to the ROOT of your problem you WOOD need to BRANCH out. Don't LEAF it alone. 1.1932 0.05075 88 74 11 3
3589 So, your dog talks and you can't stop barking? 1.1932 0.05326 88 75 9 4
3590 Spotted-Lantern flys again? 1.1932 0.05075 88 74 11 3
3591 I just feel like no one appreciates what I do. 1.1932 0.04531 88 72 15 1
3592 I think you are having a serious identity problem. Are you plain broccoli or organic broccoli or brocolini or what? 1.1932 0.05075 88 74 11 3
3593 Bring it,on,Doc. Do your best 1.1932 0.04531 88 72 15 1
3594 I feel that I’m more than a floret. 1.1932 0.05075 88 74 11 3
3595 Yes, you do look a little stumped. 1.1932 0.05075 88 74 11 3
3596 What makes you feel you are going to be axed? 1.1932 0.04531 88 72 15 1
3597 Anxiety of this sort often stems from years of rejection. 1.1932 0.04233 88 71 17 0
3598 Sure it feels like everything is coming down around you now, but in a few months, you'll feel as good as new 1.1928 0.04681 83 68 14 1
3599 You say you feel ignored at Christmas ? 1.1928 0.04985 83 69 12 2
3600 Would a nice juicy steak make you feel better? 1.1928 0.05272 83 70 10 3
3601 Why stalk mankind? 1.1928 0.04356 83 67 16 0
3602 Whatever you do, don't suck it up." 1.1928 0.04681 83 68 14 1
3603 I know you wanted to be a tree, but being a brocolli is nothing to be ashamed about. 1.1928 0.05272 83 70 10 3
3604 And when people say they hate you, how does that make you feel? 1.1928 0.04985 83 69 12 2
3605 Perhaps we should start by analyzing the root of the problem 1.1928 0.04681 83 68 14 1
3606 And so, Woody, you say you dread of loss every Autumn? 1.1928 0.04681 83 68 14 1
3607 I'm so much more than carbs and sugars, Doc...I guess I'm having some sort of cellular crisis. 1.1928 0.05544 83 71 8 4
3608 Do you ever get the feeling that everybody hates you? 1.1928 0.04985 83 69 12 2
3609 I’m hearing a lot of negative self-talk. 1.1928 0.05544 83 71 8 4
3610 With time I'm sure we can uncover where your fear of cedar cheese and ranch dip stem from. 1.1928 0.05272 83 70 10 3
3611 You feel this way because you've never put down roots. 1.1928 0.04681 83 68 14 1
3612 So what I’m hearing is, your biggest concern is being flat-chested? 1.1928 0.04681 83 68 14 1
3613 A chap never falls far from a tree. 1.1928 0.04681 83 68 14 1
3614 This is nothing to leaf about. 1.1928 0.04985 83 69 12 2
3615 Instead of focusing on your mother, let’s examine the impact of you being in a vegetative state. 1.1923 0.05180 78 65 11 2
3616 Tell me more about how you think your children hate you. 1.1923 0.04848 78 64 13 1
3617 You don’t have to absorb everything, just carbon dioxide. 1.1923 0.05180 78 65 11 2
3618 You're not alone. Many broccolis wish they could be trees. 1.1923 0.04848 78 64 13 1
3619 Well, no, you're not a cauliflower, but, yes, we can work with you. 1.1923 0.04848 78 64 13 1
3620 How does it make you feel that your wife is leaving? 1.1923 0.04491 78 63 15 0
3621 I used to have hair like yours. 1.1923 0.04491 78 63 15 0
3622 I just feel so sad and melan-ccoli 1.1923 0.05492 78 66 9 3
3623 The Overstory again? 1.1923 0.04848 78 64 13 1
3624 Sorry, I'm Freudian, I don't hug trees or people. 1.1923 0.04848 78 64 13 1
3625 I'm trying to read your emotions but you're a little wooden. 1.1923 0.05180 78 65 11 2
3626 When did you begin to feel this disconnection with your roots? 1.1923 0.05180 78 65 11 2
3627 And what makes you feel it’s a rootless existence? 1.1923 0.05180 78 65 11 2
3628 I'm always the root of dinner table arguments 1.1923 0.05180 78 65 11 2
3629 "Broccoli's just gotta crunch harder in a cauliflower world. 1.1923 0.04848 78 64 13 1
3630 Listen, we all want to branch out at some point... 1.1923 0.04848 78 64 13 1
3631 To clarify, when you say you were ‘steamed,’ are we talking anger or water torture? 1.1923 0.05180 78 65 11 2
3632 I don't know, doc, sometimes I just get so steamed and I start to fall apart. 1.1923 0.04848 78 64 13 1
3633 Your shampoo not getting the dirt out? 1.1923 0.05180 78 65 11 2
3634 Because President Bush 41 hated broccoli is no reason you couldn't become a leader in the Green New Deal effort. 1.1923 0.04491 78 63 15 0
3635 Lets talk about the root of your problem. 1.1923 0.04749 104 88 12 4
3636 What makes you think your ex was a stalker? 1.1923 0.04491 78 63 15 0
3637 "It's great to get immersed in your roles, but did you read clear to the end of 'The Cherry Orchard'?" 1.1923 0.04491 78 63 15 0
3638 Unfortunately, I think what we’re dealing with here is a classic case of ‘Little Tree Complex.’ 1.1923 0.04338 104 86 16 2
3639 To make matters worse, I lost my dream part as Annie because the darn red wig wouldn't fit! 1.1923 0.04491 78 63 15 0
3640 Why do you think you feel rootless? 1.1923 0.05180 78 65 11 2
3641 Have you tried going outside, seeing some nature maybe? " "Trees give me body dysmorphia" "Right, sorry 1.1923 0.05492 78 66 9 3
3642 So, there’s no beef, but you’re still steamed? 1.1919 0.04906 99 84 11 4
3643 In this case I totally understand why you can’t see the forest for the trees. 1.1918 0.05740 73 62 8 3
3644 It's not a question of whether you actually made a sound, it's why no one was around to hear it. 1.1918 0.06062 73 63 6 4
3645 I know you’re feeling abandoned but cauliflower is soooo versatile 1.1918 0.05398 73 61 10 2
3646 You can’t keep crashing on my couch. You need to leaf. 1.1918 0.05033 73 60 12 1
3647 Let's back up to that sprout in Brussels again. 1.1918 0.05033 73 60 12 1
3648 It really is all in your head. 1.1918 0.05033 73 60 12 1
3649 I spent my childhood hating myself. 1.1918 0.05398 73 61 10 2
3650 Trust me, you are not rotten. 1.1915 0.04849 94 79 12 3
3651 Yes, it is very tough being the head of household. 1.1915 0.04849 94 79 12 3
3652 Everybody does not hate you. That’s all in your head. 1.1915 0.04607 94 78 14 2
3653 Okay! Let's put it this way. Which bipedal mammal would you be? 1.1915 0.04849 94 79 12 3
3654 It's normal for dogs to use your feet as a toilet. You shouldn't take it personally. 1.1915 0.04607 94 78 14 2
3655 So, you say this separation anxiety began just after missing the exit to Dunsinane? 1.1915 0.04607 94 78 14 2
3656 Why don't people like me? 1.1915 0.04080 94 76 18 0
3657 Look, you are just as good as cauliflower. As Kermit says “It’s not easy being green” 1.1912 0.05241 68 56 11 1
3658 First, it's world peace, not whirled peas. And second, you're broccoli. Either way, you have nothing to worry about. 1.1912 0.05241 68 56 11 1
3659 I agree you should sue every human besides me for allowing the killing of your family. 1.1912 0.05644 68 57 9 2
3660 That must have been terrible, but I hear you now. 1.1912 0.06021 68 58 7 3
3661 It worked during the pandemic. But I really think the time has come for both of us, in our own way, to branch out. 1.1912 0.05241 68 56 11 1
3662 Tell me more about this metaverse... 1.1910 0.04761 89 74 13 2
3663 Please thank your cousin, Cauliflower, for the referral. 1.1910 0.04485 89 73 15 1
3664 People may love you in cheese sauce, but it’s you they adore. 1.1910 0.04761 89 74 13 2
3665 Look out the window! I think my time has passed! 1.1910 0.04485 89 73 15 1
3666 When did you feel like you were being stalked? 1.1910 0.04761 89 74 13 2
3667 I see the other tree's and it makes me feel so small 1.1910 0.04761 89 74 13 2
3668 So, this dream... you were in a dark tunnel and all you could hear was, "Here come the airplane..."? 1.1910 0.05507 89 77 7 5
3669 I recommend you plant yourself in the park after today’s session. 1.1910 0.04761 89 74 13 2
3670 I ‘m just so reluctant to really branch out “ 1.1910 0.05022 89 75 11 3
3671 Being a broccolini is a GREAT thing! You are looked on as with subtle favor, lighter in color, thinner, more tender -the queen of the cruciferous family. 1.1910 0.05022 89 75 11 3
3672 You said your hobby is carpentry? 1.1905 0.05482 84 72 8 4
3673 I keep repeating myself that you must put down roots. 1.1905 0.04631 84 69 14 1
3674 Plastic or paper. 1.1905 0.04931 84 70 12 2
3675 I think your hairdo is very becoming for a veggie head. 1.1905 0.05214 84 71 10 3
3676 Your problems may be caused by your family's roots. 1.1905 0.04931 84 70 12 2
3677 Would you like some water or some fertilizer? 1.1905 0.04931 84 70 12 2
3678 So tell me, broccoli, how long have you felt threatened by kale? 1.1905 0.04631 84 69 14 1
3679 I think's it's time you stopped ruminating about George Bushes' opinion of you. 1.1905 0.04631 84 69 14 1
3680 . . . and when did you decide to transition to female? 1.1905 0.04631 84 69 14 1
3681 It's so rare I get to talk about xylem and phloem with my clients. 1.1905 0.04631 84 69 14 1
3682 Yeah. Nobody likes you. Get over it. 1.1905 0.04931 84 70 12 2
3683 The wok culture has a lot to do with your culinary comeback 1.1905 0.04631 84 69 14 1
3684 Yes, I agree. It was disingenuous of your parents to name you Rob. 1.1905 0.04631 84 69 14 1
3685 You say you need to clear your head? 1.1905 0.05214 84 71 10 3
3686 For the past year or so a lot of people have felt rootless 1.1905 0.04631 84 69 14 1
3687 Well, look: this isn't the forest, and I'm listening. 1.1905 0.05214 84 71 10 3
3688 So you have or have not tried the sauna? 1.1905 0.05482 84 72 8 4
3689 I try so hard, why won’t they eat me? 1.1905 0.04631 84 69 14 1
3690 Now Mr. Hollandaise, you were telling me about some steamy dreams? 1.1905 0.04931 84 70 12 2
3691 When did you realize you were a fruitless variety? 1.1900 0.04426 100 83 15 2
3692 I swear, Doctor, sometimes I just feel like I have trouble seeing the tree for the forest. 1.1900 0.04426 100 83 15 2
3693 So when you’re hated, you’re ignored. And when you’re liked, you’re eaten. 1.1899 0.05719 79 68 7 4
3694 On the bright side, the CO2 in the air is going way up! 1.1899 0.05428 79 67 9 3
3695 Yes,I think You may be having an existential crisis,Mr Oaks. But what makes you think you 1.1899 0.05120 79 66 11 2
3696 Your fear of Autumn, though understandable, is just not rooted in reality. 1.1899 0.05428 79 67 9 3
3697 evergreen envy is treatable with therapy. 1.1899 0.04792 79 65 13 1
3698 I think that it’s time that we get to the root of your problem. 1.1899 0.04441 79 64 15 0
3699 I know it says 'treatment', but sorry sir, trees are not allowed. 1.1899 0.05428 79 67 9 3
3700 So, when did being footloose turn to a feeling of rootlessness? 1.1895 0.04802 95 80 12 3
3701 Have you thought about hollandaise? 1.1895 0.04563 95 79 14 2
3702 So, you say you're being stalked? 1.1892 0.04971 74 61 12 1
3703 What makes you think that they are out to get you? 1.1892 0.05331 74 62 10 2
3704 Kids don't know what's good for them. 1.1892 0.05331 74 62 10 2
3705 How long have you suffered from Jolly Green Gigantism? 1.1892 0.04584 74 60 14 0
3706 Call me crazy but I feel like I’m being stalked. 1.1892 0.04971 74 61 12 1
3707 This time it's all about dormancy again? 1.1892 0.04584 74 60 14 0
3708 I think we should start with your roots. 1.1892 0.05331 74 62 10 2
3709 It’s natural to feel depressed in the fall ! 1.1892 0.04584 74 60 14 0
3710 Take it from me, some things just shouldn't be straightened out. 1.1892 0.04971 74 61 12 1
3711 Tell me again about the nightmare where all the other vegetables are naked and you are wearing clothes. 1.1892 0.05667 74 63 8 3
3712 Have you considered meeting with a stylist? 1.1892 0.05331 74 62 10 2
3713 Your constant sniveling makes you even less palatable." 1.1892 0.04971 74 61 12 1
3714 So why do you think someone is stalking you? 1.1889 0.04970 90 76 11 3
3715 I know there's a climate crisis, but I'm only a psychologist so I can't do anything about it. 1.1889 0.05216 90 77 9 4
3716 When did people stop hugging you? 1.1884 0.04742 69 56 13 0
3717 Tell me your thoughts on why it started going badly between you and George. 1.1884 0.04742 69 56 13 0
3718 and are there other issues besides the fact that George Bush has a distaste for you? 1.1884 0.05172 69 57 11 1
3719 You’ ve Gone Vegan? 1.1884 0.05939 69 59 7 3
3720 It’’s the Gas 1.1884 0.04742 69 56 13 0
3721 Maybe you should tell the other florets that just because you're super tall, it doesn't mean you like playing basketball. 1.1884 0.05939 69 59 7 3
3722 I know many oaks that are going through the change of seasons. It’s common. 1.1884 0.05939 69 59 7 3
3723 Let’s talk about your ex. Once you finalize the restraining order, do you think you’ll still need to keep a ricer under the bed to feel safe? 1.1884 0.04742 69 56 13 0
3724 And how often do your kids say that you gross them out? 1.1884 0.04742 69 56 13 0
3725 Absolutely, stay away from the vegetarians. 1.1884 0.04742 69 56 13 0
3726 Please stop me if you feel I'm barking up the wrong you. 1.1882 0.05157 85 72 10 3
3727 I'm really having a bad hair day today doctor. 1.1882 0.04582 85 70 14 1
3728 Based on your feelings toward your mother, I believe you have an Edible Complex. 1.1882 0.04582 85 70 14 1
3729 And if you fell in the forest, do you think you would make a sound? 1.1882 0.04582 85 70 14 1
3730 I think we need to cross-pollinate you with your inner sapling. 1.1882 0.04265 85 69 16 0
3731 Still no action on the brush cut front, I see. 1.1882 0.04878 85 71 12 2
3732 I have this recurring dream of a car accident and living my remaining life as a vegetable 1.1882 0.04582 85 70 14 1
3733 I'm sure you're not the only veggie George Bush doesn't like. 1.1882 0.04582 85 70 14 1
3734 I swear, that steak was only a one night fling. 1.1882 0.04265 85 69 16 0
3735 She says I’m stalking her but I find that offensive. 1.1882 0.04582 85 70 14 1
3736 My initial diagnosis was "couch potato" . . . 1.1881 0.04386 101 84 15 2
3737 “How does Alfredo smother you?” 1.1881 0.04386 101 84 15 2
3738 I don't think you can see the forest for the trees 1.1881 0.04816 101 86 11 4
3739 Yes, you THOUGHT you made a noise. But was there anyone there to hear it? 1.1875 0.04756 96 81 12 3
3740 Tell me about your family, Tree 1.1875 0.05398 64 53 10 1
3741 You're not to going to feel better until you confront the Lorax and ask him to stop speaking for you. 1.1875 0.06250 64 55 6 3
3742 What you're describing is woodpecker phobia. 1.1875 0.05061 80 67 11 2
3743 Oh,and one more thing: you really shouldn’t watch “Texas Chainsaw Massacre” just before you go to bed. 1.1875 0.04519 96 80 14 2
3744 You're using the wrong shampoo. 1.1875 0.05364 80 68 9 3
3745 So how did it make feel when he told you to ‘just leaf?’ 1.1875 0.04519 96 80 14 2
3746 I guess a shared family tree could explain the hair. 1.1875 0.04738 80 66 13 1
3747 Tell me again why you think George Bush is responsible for your low self esteem. 1.1875 0.05061 80 67 11 2
3748 Frankly, it's not my job to tell you whether you're a piece of broccoli or a tree. That's a question you're going to have to answer on your own. 1.1875 0.05061 80 67 11 2
3749 When did you become aware of your evergreen envy? 1.1875 0.04738 80 66 13 1
3750 Are the birds and bees bothering you? 1.1875 0.04270 96 79 16 1
3751 You don't _have_ a mother? 1.1875 0.04519 96 80 14 2
3752 Sometimes I think I'm broccoli instead of a tree. 1.1875 0.05364 80 68 9 3
3753 Now, it's quite normal in cases like yours to dream of cheese sauce. Lots and lots of cheese sauce. 1.1875 0.04738 80 66 13 1
3754 Yea, Doc, I used to sleep like a log! But now… 1.1875 0.05061 80 67 11 2
3755 You need to accept that you can't please everyone. 1.1875 0.04738 80 66 13 1
3756 I really wanna give you a hug. 1.1875 0.04738 80 66 13 1
3757 Just last week, Tomato admitted to me he was a fruit. 1.1875 0.05061 80 67 11 2
3758 You have to brush it off, keep going, forge- a -hedge. 1.1875 0.05061 80 67 11 2
3759 I think you have branched out nicely since we began our sessions. 1.1875 0.05398 64 53 10 1
3760 Are you sure you can take this lying down? 1.1875 0.05061 80 67 11 2
3761 You need more antipsychotics, not more antioxidants. 1.1875 0.05061 80 67 11 2
3762 So sorry for using the notebook last time. 1.1875 0.05364 80 68 9 3
3763 These thoughts of stalking people aren't irrational. 1.1868 0.04920 91 77 11 3
3764 What seems to be the butter? 1.1868 0.04920 91 77 11 3
3765 You fell in the forrest. Then what happened? 1.1868 0.04665 91 76 13 2
3766 What makes you feel unheard when you fall in the forest? 1.1868 0.04665 91 76 13 2
3767 You’ve got to get out of your head! 1.1868 0.04396 91 75 15 1
3768 I hate being hugged. 1.1868 0.04920 91 77 11 3
3769 I want people to think of me as more than just a little tree 1.1867 0.05265 75 63 10 2
3770 Tell me more about your broken bough and this cradle falling. 1.1867 0.05265 75 63 10 2
3771 I wouldn't suggest bipolar at this point. However, I am seeing a couple of significant indicators of an undiagnosed bipedal disorder. 1.1867 0.05265 75 63 10 2
3772 So are you finally ready to lay down some roots? 1.1867 0.05265 75 63 10 2
3773 I just got tired of all the cheese heads, Doc! 1.1867 0.04911 75 62 12 1
3774 Don't despair. It's no longer a cauliflower world. 1.1867 0.05265 75 63 10 2
3775 Not easy being green? I feel your pain. 1.1867 0.04911 75 62 12 1
3776 ....and so for my third wish.....I asked to be a piece of broccoli 1.1867 0.04530 75 61 14 0
3777 Have you considered seeing an endocrinologist? 1.1867 0.04530 75 61 14 0
3778 What exactly does it mean that "nobody likes me"? 1.1867 0.04911 75 62 12 1
3779 There's a mistake; I advertised for a flat-bed truck, not trunk. 1.1867 0.05265 75 63 10 2
3780 If you put melted cheese all over it you’d have more friends. 1.1867 0.04911 75 62 12 1
3781 So tell me the root of your problems 1.1867 0.05265 75 63 10 2
3782 Why don’t you want to be a Christmas tree? 1.1867 0.04911 75 62 12 1
3783 Lettuce begin with your salad days when your mother decided to turnip at your school where you were beet for your lunch money. 1.1860 0.04826 86 72 12 2
3784 That tree suit doesn't make you seem more grounded. 1.1860 0.05101 86 73 10 3
3785 Look…I am not a hair therapist.The problem is in your roots. 1.1860 0.04826 86 72 12 2
3786 I liked you better as a sapling! You were easy going and enjoyed dancing in the wind, now your so dense and opinionated. 1.1860 0.04826 86 72 12 2
3787 You're not a tree; you're broccoli! 1.1860 0.05101 86 73 10 3
3788 You can't always get the couch. You are broccoli and, frankly, edible. 1.1860 0.05363 86 74 8 4
3789 Would you feel more comfortable in the kitchen? 1.1860 0.04826 86 72 12 2
3790 I’m thinking about getting a fireplace 1.1860 0.04533 86 71 14 1
3791 You may miss your roots, but with climate change, the ability to walk to water is a plus. 1.1860 0.04533 86 71 14 1
3792 So, you're here because you feel like you're getting a big head? 1.1860 0.04826 86 72 12 2
3793 You have no roots 1.1857 0.04682 70 57 13 0
3794 Who told you your bark was worse than your blight?? 1.1857 0.04682 70 57 13 0
3795 How long have you felt this way? 1.1857 0.05105 70 58 11 1
3796 You shouldn't feel inferior to potatoes, smothered in garlic butter you're quite tasty... 1.1857 0.05495 70 59 9 2
3797 I didn’t say you’re bitter, Florette 1.1857 0.05495 70 59 9 2
3798 Some people say they hate you, but really, they don't mean it. 1.1857 0.05860 70 60 7 3
3799 Nobody likes you? Talk about that. 1.1857 0.05105 70 58 11 1
3800 Okay...you love celery but you but it's illegal to stalk them." 1.1857 0.04682 70 57 13 0
3801 So what happened after you decided to branch out? 1.1857 0.04682 70 57 13 0
3802 Branching out was supposed to do it, right, Doc. So what now? 1.1857 0.05105 70 58 11 1
3803 It could be worse, I've been mistaken for cauliflower. 1.1857 0.05105 70 58 11 1
3804 Yes, you have a crown. No, I’m not calling you Your Highness. 1.1857 0.05495 70 59 9 2
3805 You may feel like a forest but I see a tree. 1.1857 0.05105 70 58 11 1
3806 Try not to lose the forest for yourself. 1.1857 0.05860 70 60 7 3
3807 MY children like you. It's B. Russell Sprout they hate. 1.1856 0.04710 97 82 12 3
3808 Let's talk about abandonment. 1.1856 0.04476 97 81 14 2
3809 Have things changed since becoming a vegetarian? 1.1852 0.05003 81 68 11 2
3810 So you never knew trees have an inner life? 1.1852 0.05003 81 68 11 2
3811 Sorry, Bud! 1.1852 0.05303 81 69 9 3
3812 How is the Christmas season making you feel? I’m not surprised you fainted in front of Rockefeller center on December 1st. 1.1852 0.04343 81 66 15 0
3813 So, you're still having trouble branching out... 1.1852 0.05586 81 70 7 4
3814 At times I feel I like a stalker but then I remember I'm just a headcase. 1.1852 0.05003 81 68 11 2
3815 So, I see you took to heart my suggestions to "Go green" and "Branch out a little"! How's that workin' for ya? 1.1852 0.04685 81 67 13 1
3816 Just because your father and mother were both couch potatoes doesn't mean you're destined to a life is therapy. 1.1852 0.04343 81 66 15 0
3817 Tell me about your Family of Acorns again… 1.1852 0.05003 81 68 11 2
3818 Just veg here while I go get the dip. 1.1852 0.04343 81 66 15 0
3819 Relax. Nobody expects you to sequester carbon dioxide all by yourself. 1.1852 0.04685 81 67 13 1
3820 This is almost as absurd as the 'Lost in Space' episode with the giant talking carrot. 1.1852 0.05003 81 68 11 2
3821 Let’s start with some breathing exercises to help you feel more grounded . 1.1852 0.04343 81 66 15 0
3822 A few sessions might do the trick, knock on wood. 1.1852 0.05003 81 68 11 2
3823 Perhaps you have been vegging out too long? 1.1852 0.05003 81 68 11 2
3824 So you have worries about the heir apparent to your crown being broccolini? 1.1852 0.05003 81 68 11 2
3825 With what people are eating these days, I think you are safe. 1.1852 0.05003 81 68 11 2
3826 Now, let's go back to talking about your roots. 1.1852 0.05003 81 68 11 2
3827 Let's start with the root problem, since everything else seems to stem from it, and then we'll branch out from there and see where that leaves us. 1.1848 0.04352 92 76 15 1
3828 Maybe it's not in your nature to change. 1.1848 0.04619 92 77 13 2
3829 You didn't bring me an apple. 1.1848 0.04619 92 77 13 2
3830 If you feel that coming to Dunsinane hasn't solved any problems, why do you think that putting down roots here will? 1.1848 0.04352 92 76 15 1
3831 You're obviously repressing 1.1848 0.04352 92 76 15 1
3832 It's a jungle out there. 1.1848 0.04619 92 77 13 2
3833 I can understand why you’re steamed. 1.1846 0.05322 65 54 10 1
3834 At one time you were quite grounded but now you're steamed. What changed? 1.1846 0.05756 65 55 8 2
3835 So go back and move in with Joyce Kilmer! Maybe he'll split the royalties with you! 1.1846 0.04850 65 53 12 0
3836 I wouldn't take it personally as it's really a philosophical question concerning the reality of events when nobody is around. 1.1846 0.05756 65 55 8 2
3837 I think we need to find the root of that issue. 1.1846 0.06160 65 56 6 3
3838 If you would just get out there and start mixing with some cheesy people, everyone would like you better. 1.1845 0.03840 103 84 19 0
3839 No matter what people say, your stalk is just a good as your florets. 1.1842 0.04852 76 63 12 1
3840 I can't help you since you are more grown-up than me 1.1842 0.04852 76 63 12 1
3841 How did you feel when Tomato and Pumpkin disclosed they weren't vegetables? 1.1842 0.05201 76 64 10 2
3842 So basically you're saying you feel unheard? 1.1842 0.05201 76 64 10 2
3843 I know, everyone hates broccoli, right? But, on the other hand, your florets are da bomb. 1.1842 0.05528 76 65 8 3
3844 Look, I could send you on your way with platitudes about practicing mindfulness, but the fact is that a lot of people DO hate you, Broc, so you're just gonna have to live with it. 1.1842 0.04852 76 63 12 1
3845 So, why do you fear engaging at dinner time? 1.1842 0.05201 76 64 10 2
3846 But Ents don't need Hobbits to act. They can self-actualize. 1.1842 0.05201 76 64 10 2
3847 Let’s talk about your mother not being a tree hugger. 1.1842 0.04852 76 63 12 1
3848 Nobody accepts me just the way I am anymore. 1.1842 0.05201 76 64 10 2
3849 There's no reason to get steamed! 1.1842 0.04476 76 62 14 0
3850 A big head doesn’t necessarily reflect intelligence. 1.1842 0.04476 76 62 14 0
3851 You had your roots dug in, you were standing tall- and Now, you're here!? I understand how completely demorilizing this must be!" jk fuller. genoa, n 1.1842 0.05528 76 65 8 3
3852 So they returned their hammock after you wouldn’t play nicely with the other tree? 1.1842 0.04852 76 63 12 1
3853 You dreamed you were a WHAT!? 1.1842 0.05201 76 64 10 2
3854 I've uprooted myself, please Doc, no shady business. 1.1842 0.04476 76 62 14 0
3855 And how would you feel if someone you trusted had this desire to slather or even drown you in sour cream? 1.1842 0.04852 76 63 12 1
3856 I’m telling you, it all goes back to being uprooted in my youth. 1.1842 0.04476 76 62 14 0
3857 Those are branches you’ve got, not issues! 1.1842 0.04852 76 63 12 1
3858 How are you feeling now that we've established it's called cauliflower, and not ghost-broccoli? 1.1842 0.05201 76 64 10 2
3859 Let’s start with your family animal. 1.1839 0.05047 87 74 10 3
3860 You need an arborist for your Dutch Elm Disease, but I may be able to help with your anxiety. 1.1839 0.04775 87 73 12 2
3861 I don't have an issue with you coming inside for the winter, but you're probably still going to lose those leaves. 1.1839 0.04178 87 71 16 0
3862 You just need to get past this and let the leaves go 1.1839 0.04486 87 72 14 1
3863 Leaving doesn't have to mean abandonment. 1.1839 0.04775 87 73 12 2
3864 Nice 'fro, bro. 1.1839 0.05047 87 74 10 3
3865 So, you took exception to “tree’s a crowd?” 1.1839 0.05305 87 75 8 4
3866 So are "Matches" in the room with us right now Robert? 1.1839 0.04775 87 73 12 2
3867 Ever since W dissed me I just can't seem to make friends with the other kids. 1.1839 0.04775 87 73 12 2
3868 I never wanted to hug a tree. 1.1839 0.04178 87 71 16 0
3869 We all like maple syrup but in your case, yep you're a vampire. 1.1839 0.04775 87 73 12 2
3870 How is your relationship with your mother? 1.1839 0.05047 87 74 10 3
3871 You can’t expect everyone to like broccoli. 1.1839 0.04486 87 72 14 1
3872 You need to branch out. 1.1835 0.03946 109 90 18 1
3873 I see. And what do you think the dream sequence with the boiling pot might have symbolized? 1.1833 0.05038 60 49 11 0
3874 And your feeling stems from? 1.1831 0.05039 71 59 11 1
3875 Your biggest issue is still your lack of connection to your roots. 1.1831 0.05039 71 59 11 1
3876 OK, George H. W. Bush hated you. Get over it! 1.1831 0.04623 71 58 13 0
3877 Maybe don't take the middle seat at the movie theatre. 1.1831 0.05424 71 60 9 2
3878 You do have a knotty problem with deforestation. 1.1831 0.05039 71 59 11 1
3879 I'm afraid you’ll probably have a lifelong obsession with going bald - you’re deciduous." 1.1831 0.06121 71 62 5 4
3880 You need to relax. Try ten minutes under a warm blanket of cheese. 1.1831 0.05039 71 59 11 1
3881 Are you ready to be part of a chatucerie? 1.1831 0.05039 71 59 11 1
3882 Yes, relatives can be difficult. Let me emphasize this again ... you are not related to broccolini. 1.1831 0.05039 71 59 11 1
3883 Seasonal affective disorder. 1.1831 0.04623 71 58 13 0
3884 Everybody hates you. So, get over it! 1.1831 0.05039 71 59 11 1
3885 What was it like being cut out from your family? 1.1831 0.05039 71 59 11 1
3886 So…what the hell are you doing in my house? 1.1831 0.05424 71 60 9 2
3887 They’re mostly just kids and they don’t know any better. 1.1831 0.05424 71 60 9 2
3888 For the last time, I'm not a therapist. 1.1831 0.05783 71 61 7 3
3889 It all started when my fitness instructor asked me to do the plank. 1.1831 0.05039 71 59 11 1
3890 Of course no one heard you, the forest was empty! 1.1831 0.05783 71 61 7 3
3891 Wait, don't tell me. . . Adult-child-of-broccoli-eaters issues?? 1.1831 0.04623 71 58 13 0
3892 Your personal growth issues are deeply rooted in your childhood 1.1831 0.05039 71 59 11 1
3893 Have you always been so bitter inside? 1.1831 0.05424 71 60 9 2
3894 So…how long have you had this feeling of being uprooted? 1.1829 0.04296 82 67 15 0
3895 To everything there is a season—-a time to weep, a time to laugh, a time to be born, and a time to die—need I say more? 1.1829 0.05243 82 70 9 3
3896 I don't suppose you make house calls... 1.1829 0.04633 82 68 13 1
3897 Just another bad hair day 1.1829 0.04947 82 69 11 2
3898 So, what did it feel like to discover that you were really spinach? 1.1829 0.05522 82 71 7 4
3899 Help me! I have to stop being a giver! 1.1829 0.04633 82 68 13 1
3900 If cigarettes are so bad for us, why do we give them to monkeys? 1.1829 0.04947 82 69 11 2
3901 Perhaps we should start after you were a seed 1.1829 0.04947 82 69 11 2
3902 Are you feeling more steamed than roasted? 1.1829 0.04633 82 68 13 1
3903 And for how long have your kids not liked you? 1.1829 0.04633 82 68 13 1
3904 Anticipatory grief prior to a major loss is to be expected. If it helps you cope, know regrowth in the spring is all but guaranteed. 1.1829 0.04947 82 69 11 2
3905 I feel like I always have a great weight on my shoulders 1.1829 0.04947 82 69 11 2
3906 I am sorry. But did I ask for what was on your mind 1.1829 0.04633 82 68 13 1
3907 I can help you with feeling uprooted. Just be glad that you're not feeling stumped. 1.1829 0.04296 82 67 15 0
3908 That's cruciferous, not crucified. Your persecution complex is showing again. 1.1829 0.04947 82 69 11 2
3909 "Eat me--I dare you!" 1.1828 0.04573 93 78 13 2
3910 You’ve never been rooted in reality. 1.1828 0.04310 93 77 15 1
3911 I appreciate your desire for personal growth. 1.1818 0.04424 77 63 14 0
3912 I think a little Carbon Dioxide therapy will get you back on track. 1.1818 0.04440 88 73 14 1
3913 I guess, I would just like to be the main dish once in awhile. 1.1818 0.05461 77 66 8 3
3914 I feel tree-mendous these days. 1.1818 0.05675 66 56 8 2
3915 I know it's tough being the last ingredient chosen in the salad bowl, but maybe you should think of yourself as the dessert. 1.1818 0.04440 88 73 14 1
3916 I had no idea it was you when I relieved myself in the golf course bushes! 1.1818 0.04795 77 64 12 1
3917 I didn't realize our relationship went so deep. 1.1818 0.04135 88 72 16 0
3918 Hey Dr. Broccoli, shouldn't I be on the couch? 1.1818 0.04440 88 73 14 1
3919 I am not depressed like other trees, you know? I did my homework so I know my fate, Doctor. 1.1818 0.04795 77 64 12 1
3920 Just to clarify, I don’t practice “psychia-tree”. 1.1818 0.04725 88 74 12 2
3921 Have you thought about turning over a new leaf? 1.1818 0.04725 88 74 12 2
3922 Man, I don't know if this is imposter syndrome but I don't think I am good enough to prevent cancer. 1.1818 0.05139 77 65 10 2
3923 Climate change has you worried too? 1.1818 0.04424 77 63 14 0
3924 Yes, it's fine if you want to wear the crown during our session. 1.1818 0.04795 77 64 12 1
3925 Floret, or not, you are a bit pudgy” 1.1818 0.05249 66 55 10 1
3926 Your coworkers at the park ranger office are concerned that your tree costume isn't helping you fit in. Frankly, it creeps them out. 1.1818 0.05675 66 56 8 2
3927 Perhaps you should try other veggies? 1.1818 0.04424 77 63 14 0
3928 Imagine you're a tree and kids are dinosaurs. 1.1818 0.04795 77 64 12 1
3929 You don’t have to carry so much weight on your shoulders. 1.1818 0.04440 88 73 14 1
3930 It’s OK to vegetate after maple syrup season. 1.1818 0.04795 77 64 12 1
3931 I don’t want to sound creepy or anything, but I just wish children would put me in their mouth more 1.1818 0.04994 88 75 10 3
3932 Why don’t you think you can have a healthy relationship? 1.1818 0.04795 77 64 12 1
3933 But isn't being good for people more meaningful than just having them like you? 1.1818 0.04725 88 74 12 2
3934 Okay, then picking up from last week. Your troubles started the night you had front row center at the opera. 1.1818 0.04152 99 82 16 1
3935 I know it must be tough this time of year when you’ve been replaced by the green bean casserole! 1.1818 0.04795 77 64 12 1
3936 I've been told 'you are what you eat'; I just don't want to believe it! 1.1818 0.04795 77 64 12 1
3937 If I’m going to be honest, I don't like you much either.” 1.1818 0.04795 77 64 12 1
3938 I warned you to lay off acorns. 1.1818 0.04795 77 64 12 1
3939 I dunno - I’m stumped too! 1.1818 0.05249 66 55 10 1
3940 Everyone doesn't hate you NOW... But remember... You WILL be going rotten in just a few days. 1.1818 0.05675 66 56 8 2
3941 When you say you're branching out...? 1.1818 0.05139 77 65 10 2
3942 It all started when I searched for my roots.” Carol Shain Jupiter, Fl Carol_shain@msn.com 508-265-059 1.1818 0.05461 77 66 8 3
3943 I think you have lost your apples 1.1818 0.04795 77 64 12 1
3944 Actually it's quite the norm and entirely acceptable for a Broccoli to think of himself as a tree. 1.1818 0.04440 88 73 14 1
3945 It's perfectly natural. All young oaks wished they had needles around Christmas. 1.1818 0.04994 88 75 10 3
3946 I'd be steamed too if I was cast out of my blended family. 1.1818 0.05139 77 65 10 2
3947 So the hippie kept hugging you - even after you told him to stop? 1.1818 0.04725 88 74 12 2
3948 You have to stop thinking that you’re the only tree in Brooklyn. 1.1818 0.05139 77 65 10 2
3949 You need to try to live less in your head and more in your stalk. 1.1818 0.05766 77 67 6 4
3950 Today, I'd like to deal with your jealousy of other cruciferous vegetables. 1.1809 0.04774 94 80 11 3
3951 Of course therapy has led to personal growth. We just couldn't predict the changes you'd make. 1.1809 0.05008 94 81 9 4
3952 I'm thinking of turning over a new leaf myself. You know branching out and getting back to my roots. 1.1809 0.04774 94 80 11 3
3953 Why don't we start by you telling me about your roots? 1.1807 0.04249 83 68 15 0
3954 I know this is totally unprofessional but could you sign a copy of The Giving Tree for my kid. 1.1807 0.04892 83 70 11 2
3955 can you tell me what's kale-ing you? 1.1807 0.04582 83 69 13 1
3956 So…back to your dream: they didn’t witness your fall, but they disagreed on whether it made a sound? 1.1807 0.04582 83 69 13 1
3957 I'm not quiet certain that that is what being a vegan means. 1.1807 0.04249 83 68 15 0
3958 I didn’t fall far from you. 1.1807 0.04582 83 69 13 1
3959 Being responsible for carbon capture can certainly stress your canopy 1.1807 0.04582 83 69 13 1
3960 Fall anxiety back again, eh? 1.1807 0.04582 83 69 13 1
3961 How do you feel about a blind pig not finding the acorn? 1.1807 0.05184 83 71 9 3
3962 Maybe all the rejection will end if you just cover yourself in cheese? 1.1807 0.04892 83 70 11 2
3963 Do you want to get anything off your stump?!! 1.1807 0.05184 83 71 9 3
3964 I’m sorry. Last night I told a waiter that I don’t like you and my kids said they hate you. 1.1807 0.04249 83 68 15 0
3965 So it seems that all of your problems stem from a single source. 1.1806 0.04975 72 60 11 1
3966 Yes, you feel guilty, but it's not your fault he got steamed at dinnertime. 1.1806 0.04975 72 60 11 1
3967 You're saying that NOBODY came by and did the Fall Foliage thingy? 1.1806 0.04565 72 59 13 0
3968 In your dream, what happened after you went bald? 1.1806 0.05354 72 61 9 2
3969 You are going to end up being a stick in the mud if you don't branch out. 1.1806 0.04975 72 60 11 1
3970 Things were getting hot and steamy, but I got cold feet. 1.1806 0.05354 72 61 9 2
3971 And when did you first think you were sleeping like a log? 1.1806 0.04975 72 60 11 1
3972 Why do you think you have this fear of being uprooted? 1.1806 0.05354 72 61 9 2
3973 Let's not beat around the bush. You fail to see the forest for the trees. 1.1806 0.04565 72 59 13 0
3974 Ok, walk me through your morning hair routine one more time. 1.1806 0.04975 72 60 11 1
3975 Maybe President Bush did hate you, but that doesn't mean that everyone does. 1.1806 0.05354 72 61 9 2
3976 Are you here to shed foliage or to grow in circumference? 1.1806 0.05354 72 61 9 2
3977 Do you feel you have lost touch with your roots? 1.1806 0.04565 72 59 13 0
3978 Its not because of the new variant. 1.1806 0.04975 72 60 11 1
3979 I think we should explore this feeling of rootlessness… 1.1806 0.04565 72 59 13 0
3980 No one's taking sides here, but have you considered the possibility that you may have dated that lumberjack in college just to upset your parents? 1.1806 0.04975 72 60 11 1
3981 It's time to drop your leaves, you are not an evergreen. 1.1800 0.04115 100 83 16 1
3982 Dr. Schadenfreude with his most famous patient 'Hmm--you might have a different perspective if you walked a mile in my shoes" 1.1800 0.04115 100 83 16 1
3983 Your bark is worse than your bite? 1.1798 0.04676 89 75 12 2
3984 Aha, so you feel stuck in your "Salad Years"! 1.1798 0.04394 89 74 14 1
3985 Doc,I don’t know why I am so afraid of branching out. 1.1798 0.04676 89 75 12 2
3986 It's okay to be green. 1.1798 0.04394 89 74 14 1
3987 OMG! You mutated into a couch broccoli. 1.1798 0.04941 89 76 10 3
3988 So you ate all the pies 1.1798 0.04676 89 75 12 2
3989 Okay, and when did you start feeling that you were a large stem of broccoli? 1.1798 0.04394 89 74 14 1
3990 Let's go out on a limb and revisit your sapling-hood. 1.1798 0.04676 89 75 12 2
3991 So you feel you have to hide behind the sauce to be liked. Let’s go with that. 1.1798 0.04093 89 73 16 0
3992 O.K. So how long have you been having thoughts that you might be a human being? 1.1798 0.04676 89 75 12 2
3993 When did you get it into your head to start stalking her? 1.1798 0.04941 89 76 10 3
3994 Typical of the apples and oranges complex. 1.1798 0.04676 89 75 12 2
3995 And in this dream, your mother is standing out in a field wearing nothing? 1.1798 0.04394 89 74 14 1
3996 Obviously Groot and Ents and the Whomping Willow were great opportunities…and the occasional theatrical run of Macbeth gets creative with their Birnam Wood…but parts have really dried up. Anyway, this is a casting couch, right? Shall we get to it? 1.1795 0.05696 78 68 6 4
3997 When do you think this feeling took root? 1.1795 0.04373 78 64 14 0
3998 YOUR PROBLEM IS SPROUTING 1.1795 0.04739 78 65 12 1
3999 You're doing to leave, aren't you? 1.1795 0.04739 78 65 12 1
4000 Yep,Heilman’s, for sure! 1.1795 0.04739 78 65 12 1
4001 I explained your leaves won't fall because of global warming. 1.1795 0.04739 78 65 12 1
4002 Maybe Miracle Gro isn’t for hair. 1.1795 0.04373 78 64 14 0
4003 I see…have you tried looking AROUND the other trees? 1.1795 0.04373 78 64 14 0
4004 Doc, I'm such a head case. My wife says I'm losing my turgor. 1.1795 0.04373 78 64 14 0
4005 I think you have Seasonal Affective Disorder. 1.1795 0.05078 78 66 10 2
4006 In a pandemic we all feel uprooted 1.1795 0.04373 78 64 14 0
4007 Feeling green" is just an expressio 1.1795 0.05078 78 66 10 2
4008 Stop trying to lend a hand and start to work on your deep-rooted issues. 1.1795 0.05696 78 68 6 4
4009 Afros are so yesterday, maybe that's the problem. 1.1795 0.04373 78 64 14 0
4010 Maybe you should try some straightener 1.1795 0.05396 78 67 8 3
4011 You need to see the value in your stalk but others do 1.1795 0.05078 78 66 10 2
4012 Maybe it's time to move upstate. 1.1795 0.05396 78 67 8 3
4013 You remember falling, but you don’t recall hearing anything? Sure looks like it happened. 1.1795 0.05078 78 66 10 2
4014 Mr. Brocc you certainly have a good head. 1.1795 0.04739 78 65 12 1
4015 I understand you feel inadequate as a tree. Perhaps you could try seing yourself as a hulking broccoli ? 1.1795 0.05078 78 66 10 2
4016 You're lucky we are in New Jersey, where we specialize in the garden state of mind. We'll definitely help you dig through your pea and carrot issues. 1.1795 0.04739 78 65 12 1
4017 I'm afraid it's not that kind of crown. 1.1795 0.05396 78 67 8 3
4018 It's OK if you just want to lay their and vegetate for a while. 1.1791 0.05177 67 56 10 1
4019 So you think these panic attacks started after Tarzan and Cheetah stopped swinging from your Vines? 1.1791 0.05177 67 56 10 1
4020 Enough self pity. Get out, face the winter sun, and let the leaves fall where they may. 1.1791 0.05177 67 56 10 1
4021 Well, I, for one, really, really like broccoli 1.1791 0.05177 67 56 10 1
4022 You would do well to realize that cheese isn’t your enemy. 1.1791 0.05177 67 56 10 1
4023 Tell more about this cuckoo that keeps visiting you. 1.1791 0.05597 67 57 8 2
4024 I hate to pop your bubble, but real trees don't experience anxiety! 1.1791 0.04720 67 55 12 0
4025 Your father leaved when you were just a sprout? 1.1789 0.04227 95 79 15 1
4026 Look, if she REALLY loves you, the hamburger will convert. 1.1789 0.04484 95 80 13 2
4027 When did you start dreaming you were surrounded by cars? 1.1789 0.04484 95 80 13 2
4028 So you think nobody likes you. 1.1789 0.04728 95 81 11 3
4029 It's normal to see red when you're angry. 1.1786 0.04838 84 71 11 2
4030 I know it's hard to deal with grief, but dont worry, they are all in a better place now... Like a furniture store! 1.1786 0.04838 84 71 11 2
4031 My soul is in a permanent vegetative state. 1.1786 0.04838 84 71 11 2
4032 Using it/they pronouns is a big step for you. 1.1786 0.04532 84 70 13 1
4033 No wonder you're so gray, Brock. We're focusing on building up your 'self esteem'...not 'steam'." 1.1786 0.05658 84 74 5 5
4034 I know...It's not easy being green.... 1.1786 0.05126 84 72 9 3
4035 So how long have you been feeling rootless? 1.1786 0.04532 84 70 13 1
4036 I know that it's tough to be rejected as a bonsai, but take heart. Soon you will be loved as a shade tree. 1.1786 0.04838 84 71 11 2
4037 I’ll be right back. You’re giving me gas. 1.1786 0.05126 84 72 9 3
4038 So, you are steamed because you don’t know who stalked you? 1.1786 0.05126 84 72 9 3
4039 Before you get a head of yourself-lettuce see where we left off- 1.1786 0.04532 84 70 13 1
4040 So, baking cookies didn't help? 1.1786 0.04838 84 71 11 2
4041 Sorry, but I don't think your pyrophobia can be resolved through exposure therapy. 1.1786 0.04204 84 69 15 0
4042 Have you tried a SAD lamp? 1.1786 0.05126 84 72 9 3
4043 Now what makes you think kids hate you? 1.1782 0.03827 101 83 18 0
4044 So you’re not feeling heard? 1.1782 0.04954 101 88 8 5
4045 Look, no one's stealing your acorns, okay? 1.1781 0.04913 73 61 11 1
4046 what you have are many birds in your head 1.1781 0.05286 73 62 9 2
4047 Oh, so she told you she prefers Cauliflower? 1.1781 0.05634 73 63 7 3
4048 In time, you'll accept the reality that you are not broccoli. 1.1781 0.04913 73 61 11 1
4049 To coat your brain in life-affirming chemicals, I'm recommending a course of highly seasoned Hollandaise sauce. 1.1781 0.05286 73 62 9 2
4050 I'm beginning to understand how you feel, so maybe they'll leave you alone if you just got a good haircut. 1.1781 0.04913 73 61 11 1
4051 But you need to make an effort too. Have you smothered yourself in melted cheese lately? 1.1781 0.04913 73 61 11 1
4052 Maybe we should explore if self-cutting is how you control vegans 1.1781 0.05286 73 62 9 2
4053 It's unhealthy to stalk your ex. 1.1781 0.05286 73 62 9 2
4054 When did it first occur to you that instead of taking out a mortgage you could live more cheaply in the park? 1.1781 0.05634 73 63 7 3
4055 And when did you realize that you are Brittany's twin sister? 1.1781 0.04913 73 61 11 1
4056 Embrace your differences! Great 'Fro Bro! 1.1781 0.04913 73 61 11 1
4057 We may need to do some pruning to get at the root of the problem ,if you get my drift, Mr. Woods. 1.1781 0.05286 73 62 9 2
4058 I'm not really sure I can go on living. 1.1781 0.04913 73 61 11 1
4059 Have you ever considered cosmetic surgery so you wouldn't look so much like a little tree? 1.1781 0.05634 73 63 7 3
4060 I wouldn’t worry about my fees. The price of broccoli is skyrocketing! 1.1781 0.04913 73 61 11 1
4061 So you feel that your apples have fallen farther than the other trees. 1.1781 0.05286 73 62 9 2
4062 I think the most important thing for you to remember, Oak, is for you to always be leaf in yourself. 1.1781 0.04913 73 61 11 1
4063 Doc, I feel like a nut. " 1.1781 0.04913 73 61 11 1
4064 No, I said I deserve a bigger salary. 1.1781 0.05286 73 62 9 2
4065 So, tell me about your father. 1.1781 0.05634 73 63 7 3
4066 Let's start with your Holland days. 1.1781 0.04913 73 61 11 1
4067 Yes, you will lose all your leaves but they will grow back. 1.1781 0.05286 73 62 9 2
4068 The root cause for your feet is your resistance to the biological mandate to stay planted." 1.1781 0.04913 73 61 11 1
4069 Just a little off the top please. 1.1778 0.04628 90 76 12 2
4070 I think it's fairly obvious what the roots of your problem are. 1.1778 0.04053 90 74 16 0
4071 Maybe you should stop throwing shade 1.1778 0.04350 90 75 14 1
4072 Just because you don’t agree with some doesn’t mean everyone hates you. 1.1778 0.04628 90 76 12 2
4073 Tell me more about your relationship with your romenesco mother 1.1778 0.04350 90 75 14 1
4074 I swear she only likes me when I have the cheddar. When its just plain ole' me I can't get the time of day! Oh and don't get me started on the gas issues! 1.1778 0.04628 90 76 12 2
4075 It’s my no pruning during the pandemic look. 1.1778 0.04628 90 76 12 2
4076 I like broccolini better. 1.1778 0.04890 90 77 10 3
4077 Count your blessings Honey, George Bush wouldn't have let you in the house. 1.1774 0.05405 62 52 9 1
4078 I said veg out, now please get out. 1.1774 0.05874 62 53 7 2
4079 Now let’s discuss climate change and it’s affect on your mood 1.1774 0.04891 62 51 11 0
4080 When did you start feeling inferior to Romanesco? 1.1772 0.05018 79 67 10 2
4081 Just because my carpet says Millsap III doesn't make me a tree doctor. 1.1772 0.05332 79 68 8 3
4082 A crown does not make you a Prince over the Cabbage Family. 1.1772 0.04684 79 66 12 1
4083 I don't eat broccoli, look at me. 1.1772 0.04324 79 65 14 0
4084 Just try to relax please,you can let your hair down in here 1.1772 0.04324 79 65 14 0
4085 I'm sorry I never liked you. If it makes you feel any better, I unfriended Green Beans yesterday. 1.1772 0.04324 79 65 14 0
4086 So just what makes you believe you're the victim of a stalker? 1.1772 0.04324 79 65 14 0
4087 And you're sure the carrot feels the way about you? 1.1772 0.04324 79 65 14 0
4088 I think the problem is you aren't rooted anywhere. 1.1772 0.04684 79 66 12 1
4089 You're ahead of the game. 1.1772 0.04684 79 66 12 1
4090 I'm really more concerned with how you feel about Crudités. 1.1772 0.04324 79 65 14 0
4091 Why so glum? I'd give anything to be a tree grown in Brooklyn. 1.1772 0.05332 79 68 8 3
4092 Are you sure our doctor approves of the amount of veggies you are eating? 1.1772 0.05332 79 68 8 3
4093 You lose them in the fall, they come back in the spring, only to fall out again...it's a vicious cycle. 1.1772 0.04684 79 66 12 1
4094 The way I see it, you need to leaf her and branch out. 1.1772 0.05332 79 68 8 3
4095 When I said make like a tree, this was not exactly what I had in mind 1.1772 0.05018 79 67 10 2
4096 I actually suggested forest bathing, not forest being. 1.1772 0.05332 79 68 8 3
4097 Feeling unrooted can stem from childhood trauma. It often leaves marks that only come into full bloom after many years. 1.1772 0.05018 79 67 10 2
4098 You’re very healthy. 1.1772 0.04684 79 66 12 1
4099 Interesting! I just had a streetlamp and telephone pole with the same issue. 1.1772 0.04324 79 65 14 0
4100 After all this time I think that we are finally getting to the root of your problem. 1.1771 0.04441 96 81 13 2
4101 When did you decide to become deciduous? 1.1771 0.04441 96 81 13 2
4102 I'm always the last crudité chosen. 1.1771 0.04187 96 80 15 1
4103 We need to get to the roots to you problem. 1.1771 0.04187 96 80 15 1
4104 Crashing on my sofa is not a substitute for putting down roots. 1.1765 0.05520 68 58 8 2
4105 Tell me about the head you come from? 1.1765 0.05107 68 57 10 1
4106 Stop worrying about kale; it tastes terrible. 1.1765 0.04484 85 71 13 1
4107 I suggest you stop saying that you're spinach, and to hell with it. 1.1765 0.05070 85 73 9 3
4108 Let's talk about your impulse to stalk. 1.1765 0.05107 68 57 10 1
4109 So, in this recurring nightmare, people are actually willing to eat you? 1.1765 0.05520 68 58 8 2
4110 Can you recall the very first time your fear of Barbers began? 1.1765 0.04786 85 72 11 2
4111 I can't get omicron out of my head! 1.1765 0.04657 68 56 12 0
4112 Signore Broccoli, please understand. It’s not your heritage that makes people hate you. 1.1765 0.04484 85 71 13 1
4113 No, Mr. Brock - we really don't use you just for your body. 1.1765 0.05520 68 58 8 2
4114 If you stop masquerading as a tree, I can get you out of the woods 1.1765 0.04657 68 56 12 0
4115 Marsha for the last time...I hate Velveeta... 1.1765 0.05070 85 73 9 3
4116 Thinking of yourself as a little tree would be a more palatable self image. 1.1765 0.04657 68 56 12 0
4117 Your family is the root of your problem 1.1765 0.05520 68 58 8 2
4118 We've worked to understand your story. Now we need to understand your understory. 1.1765 0.04657 68 56 12 0
4119 Do you feel ready for the appetizer tray instead of the couch? 1.1765 0.05107 68 57 10 1
4120 Couldn’t there be many reasons why people keep cutting you down ? 1.1765 0.04657 68 56 12 0
4121 Well, yes, I guess you could be considered a cannibal despite eating strictly vegan. 1.1765 0.05107 68 57 10 1
4122 You say you were not properly introduced. 1.1765 0.04786 85 72 11 2
4123 When was your first memory of being ashamed of your roots? 1.1765 0.04484 85 71 13 1
4124 I just got this nutty craving for dip. How about you? 1.1765 0.05107 68 57 10 1
4125 I just want to feel heard 1.1765 0.05904 68 59 6 3
4126 C'mon,everyone thinks their mother is the root of it all ! 1.1765 0.04484 85 71 13 1
4127 We'll start by examining your roots. 1.1765 0.04786 85 72 11 2
4128 What seems to be the root of your problems? 1.1758 0.04840 91 78 10 3
4129 I have a patient with a much smaller head then you with the same problem. 1.1758 0.04581 91 77 12 2
4130 Maybe I am barking up the wrong tree 1.1758 0.04306 91 76 14 1
4131 Have you asked Cauliflower for a date? I think you and Cauliflower would go well together. 1.1758 0.04581 91 77 12 2
4132 Who am i kidding, it is me, the smell is me! I was just cooked. 1.1758 0.04581 91 77 12 2
4133 I know you feel stumped, but life is all about branching out. 1.1758 0.04581 91 77 12 2
4134 I have this recurring nightmare that I have been chopped and turned into paper to print cartoons. 1.1758 0.04581 91 77 12 2
4135 So you feel a need to cut others down? 1.1757 0.04852 74 62 11 1
4136 To dispel your beliefs we will first have to get to the root of the problem. 1.1757 0.04454 74 61 13 0
4137 Why didn't you take off the damn hat? 1.1757 0.04454 74 61 13 0
4138 You say the giant is "jolly." Why do you think that is? 1.1757 0.04852 74 62 11 1
4139 So, Mr. Broccoli, I understand that you’re still having the nightmare about the steamer. 1.1757 0.04852 74 62 11 1
4140 So when did you first suspect that former president Bush had cursed you. 1.1757 0.05219 74 63 9 2
4141 No, I do not think you are nuts. 1.1757 0.04454 74 61 13 0
4142 Say it again—"Cheese smothering me is an unhealthy relationship." 1.1757 0.05219 74 63 9 2
4143 I feel you may suffer from vegetable envy. 1.1757 0.05219 74 63 9 2
4144 You think you saw a poem lovely as a tree! 1.1757 0.04454 74 61 13 0
4145 So you're not the only superfood. Think of all the superheroes in the Marvel universe 1.1757 0.04852 74 62 11 1
4146 And how does it make you feel to be called a "tiny tree" and not broccoli? 1.1757 0.04454 74 61 13 0
4147 It's simple. Other trees resent you because you can walk. I resent you because you're so whiny. 1.1757 0.04852 74 62 11 1
4148 Say this after me, 'I'm delicious, I'm healthy, and gosh darn it people like me' ". submit please 1.1757 0.04454 74 61 13 0
4149 Well I think you need to realize that dogs are not disrespecting you. 1.1754 0.05665 57 48 8 1
4150 I disagree Mr. Broccoli, not everyone hates you. 1.1753 0.04148 97 81 15 1
4151 You shouldn't be ashamed to own you feelings just because of an old saw. I'm sure it is not easy being green. 1.1753 0.04148 97 81 15 1
4152 I'm going to refer to you to a colleague of mine who works with stalking victims. 1.1753 0.04148 97 81 15 1
4153 If you could just be a little more flexible and not throw so much shade. 1.1750 0.04960 80 68 10 2
4154 It's not you, it's me, Twiggy! 1.1750 0.04275 80 66 14 0
4155 You can broccolie to yourself all day, but it won’t make it true. 1.1750 0.04630 80 67 12 1
4156 I know I shouldn't, but... May I touch your hair? 1.1750 0.04630 80 67 12 1
4157 So why not just be a tree? 1.1750 0.04630 80 67 12 1
4158 Let's revisit why you think Broccoli is the most reviled vegetable. Steven Assael- Boynton Beach Fl 1.1750 0.04630 80 67 12 1
4159 I hope that you will be shedding what's weighing on you. 1.1750 0.04960 80 68 10 2
4160 Your photo in the dating app was a bit different! 1.1750 0.04275 80 66 14 0
4161 So you are here with concerns of pre-mature balding? 1.1750 0.04275 80 66 14 0
4162 Brussel Sprouts, Kale, Brussel Sprouts, Kale, when is it ever Broccoli? 1.1750 0.04960 80 68 10 2
4163 We all at times feel rootless. 1.1750 0.04960 80 68 10 2
4164 You need to stop relying on external validation. 1.1750 0.04630 80 67 12 1
4165 I had no idea my barber did landscaping on the side. 1.1750 0.05270 80 69 8 3
4166 But what if my leaves don’t come back in the spring? 1.1750 0.05270 80 69 8 3
4167 Show me, on the plate, where my fork, touched you. 1.1746 0.05787 63 54 7 2
4168 But why would you feel inferior to a poem? 1.1746 0.06213 63 55 5 3
4169 Progress?! Just think how far you've come from being a cutthroat, young broccolini! 1.1744 0.05015 86 74 9 3
4170 But let's come back to this feeling of rootlessness--could you branch out a bit? 1.1744 0.04734 86 73 11 2
4171 Whom I'm talking to, Mr. Oak or Ms. Elm? 1.1744 0.04436 86 72 13 1
4172 And why do you think your children hate you? 1.1744 0.04734 86 73 11 2
4173 Have you tried upping your CO₂ intake 1.1744 0.04116 86 71 15 0
4174 What makes you think that people don't like you? 1.1744 0.05015 86 74 9 3
4175 Tough, I just don't see how we get to the root of it... 1.1744 0.04116 86 71 15 0
4176 I know it’s self-loathing, but as a sprout I never liked broccoli. 1.1744 0.04436 86 72 13 1
4177 So, you blame all your problems on growing up in Brooklyn? 1.1744 0.05015 86 74 9 3
4178 For how long have you arbored such rootless grievances? 1.1744 0.04436 86 72 13 1
4179 Maybe kids don’t like you because they haven’t given you a chance 1.1739 0.04535 92 78 12 2
4180 Yes, cauliflower has many talents but you mustn't compare yourself. 1.1739 0.05824 69 60 6 3
4181 I totally understand this feeling of being uprooted. 1.1739 0.05039 69 58 10 1
4182 Just accept it. You’re great in a smoothie, but after that, not so much. 1.1739 0.05039 69 58 10 1
4183 People used to laugh at me too but just trim it nice and comb in a little Afro sheen and you are good to go bro! 1.1739 0.04791 92 79 10 3
4184 So you don't feel respected: Birds and squirrels don't pay their rent, dogs squirt urine on you 1.1739 0.04535 92 78 12 2
4185 Tell me about this dream where the cheese sauce chases you down and tops you. 1.1739 0.05445 69 59 8 2
4186 Yep... I agree - surely seems like a good time to re-introduce meat my friend! 1.1739 0.04535 92 78 12 2
4187 I think it would really help if you just took that stick out of your ass. 1.1739 0.05039 69 58 10 1
4188 Honestly Mom, I'm not happy with my hairdo either. 1.1739 0.04596 69 57 12 0
4189 I’m going to go out on a limb and say that you’re all bark and no bite. 1.1739 0.04596 69 57 12 0
4190 This sounds like a classic case of It’s Not Easy Being Green syndrome. 1.1739 0.05445 69 59 8 2
4191 come September I think we can expect you to begin to shed some of your inhibitions 1.1739 0.05039 69 58 10 1
4192 Dogs lift their legs and pee on trees. Stop taking it personally. 1.1733 0.05155 75 64 9 2
4193 Well, why don't you want to talk about the forest? I sense you're blocking. 1.1733 0.05155 75 64 9 2
4194 So, how do you really feel about being cruciferous? 1.1733 0.04792 75 63 11 1
4195 You must come to grips with Stanford's lack of interest in you as next year's mascot. 1.1733 0.05155 75 64 9 2
4196 To tell you the truth, you've got me stumped! 1.1733 0.04792 75 63 11 1
4197 We will work together to help you cope with the anti-broccoli zealots. 1.1733 0.05155 75 64 9 2
4198 When you feel yourself getting steamed,add lemon. 1.1733 0.04792 75 63 11 1
4199 I'm going to be real with you—your head game is weak. 1.1733 0.05155 75 64 9 2
4200 Well, Mr. Brocolli, is that your Latin name 1.1733 0.05493 75 65 7 3
4201 I have been having doomsday dreams!" 1.1733 0.04792 75 63 11 1
4202 Joyce Kilmer is dead. Get over it. 1.1733 0.05155 75 64 9 2
4203 I can see where getting shaken and having your peaches plucked could be quite traumatic, indeed. 1.1733 0.05155 75 64 9 2
4204 Our time is up. 1.1733 0.04400 75 62 13 0
4205 Could it be that Afros aren’t really au courant right now? Lol? 1.1733 0.04400 75 62 13 0
4206 Not Everyone can be Carrot Top 1.1733 0.04400 75 62 13 0
4207 She does sounds like a stalker; however..... 1.1733 0.05155 75 64 9 2
4208 Leaves are just visitors. Let them come and go 1.1733 0.04792 75 63 11 1
4209 Honestly, I can tell you that many Nightshades struggle to find joy. 1.1733 0.05155 75 64 9 2
4210 Yes. I can see that as a Cruciferous, it must be very difficult living in Kale’s shadow. 1.1733 0.05155 75 64 9 2
4211 Disclosure. I have an issue with puns. But back to you. It's time to turn over a new leaf, branch out and grow up. No puns intended. 1.1733 0.04792 75 63 11 1
4212 You need to go to “ Finding Your Roots” on PBS. 1.1733 0.05493 75 65 7 3
4213 Are you getting fresh with me? 1.1733 0.05155 75 64 9 2
4214 In my professional opinion, you have overdosed on several heads of broccoli. 1.1733 0.05155 75 64 9 2
4215 You don't know the purpose of your life? Let's continue this at the health club so we can do some steam. 1.1733 0.05155 75 64 9 2
4216 Yes, I'm a vegan but I'm not sure you understand what that means. 1.1728 0.04903 81 69 10 2
4217 If we do have children, they'll probably feel rootless here too. 1.1728 0.05209 81 70 8 3
4218 You need to let go of teh fact that you aren't organic. 1.1728 0.04903 81 69 10 2
4219 Do you feel the most yourself when you’re with ranch? 1.1728 0.04578 81 68 12 1
4220 You just have a big head. 1.1728 0.04903 81 69 10 2
4221 I used to enjoy listening to nature, but now I find the reversed roles to be so helpful. 1.1728 0.04578 81 68 12 1
4222 I think it’s time to stop the Minoxidil 1.1728 0.04578 81 68 12 1
4223 Do you enjoy cheddar soup? 1.1728 0.04578 81 68 12 1
4224 Hey man, in Japan, this is the most erotic of scenarios. Now let me cover you in ranch. 1.1728 0.04578 81 68 12 1
4225 I’m feeling rootless. 1.1728 0.04578 81 68 12 1
4226 So, your mother kept saying she was hoping for an oak. 1.1728 0.04578 81 68 12 1
4227 You should try a steamy bath. 1.1728 0.04903 81 69 10 2
4228 I see you're branching out. That's real progress. 1.1728 0.04227 81 67 14 0
4229 Yes, Freud broccoli is a healthier option for you. 1.1728 0.04903 81 69 10 2
4230 My leaves are falling, and I can’t find my roots. 1.1724 0.04684 87 74 11 2
4231 It's not your fault the kids don't like you! Just try wearing sugar from time to time. 1.1724 0.04073 87 72 15 0
4232 Bob,it’s time to get to the root of all your problems. 1.1724 0.04684 87 74 11 2
4233 She just wouldn't eat me ... is it me she has a problem with 1.1724 0.04389 87 73 13 1
4234 How will it ever work - you are all bark and I have no bite! 1.1724 0.04389 87 73 13 1
4235 You hear them talk to you, but do you really listen. 1.1720 0.04490 93 79 12 2
4236 I’ve been having self esteem problems ever since George H. W. Bush… 1.1720 0.04490 93 79 12 2
4237 You have nothing to fear but vegans. 1.1719 0.04753 64 53 11 0
4238 Doc -what can I do? A beautician used a strong lens to see the forest through the trees. And my roots were ruined. 1.1719 0.05249 64 54 9 1
4239 I'm sorry to hear that their stepfather is a strawberry. That's tough competition! 1.1714 0.05745 70 61 6 3
4240 Size doesn't matter for celery. 1.1714 0.05373 70 60 8 2
4241 Producing the James Bond film franchise might be a role for you to grow into. 1.1714 0.04973 70 59 10 1
4242 Cheese, you say? Your entire family drowned in hot, gooey cheddar cheese! 1.1714 0.05373 70 60 8 2
4243 then I herd you are what you eat and now I look like this 1.1714 0.05745 70 61 6 3
4244 I think that I -no we - no I - shall never see…Okay. What’s next? 1.1714 0.05373 70 60 8 2
4245 So, do you think it’s true that you are what you eat? 1.1714 0.04973 70 59 10 1
4246 Tell me a little about your families roots. 1.1714 0.04973 70 59 10 1
4247 Let's talk a bit more today about your dog phobia." 1.1714 0.05373 70 60 8 2
4248 Don’t think we’ll get to the root today. 1.1711 0.04348 76 63 13 0
4249 Kale is just a fad—— you’ll be back on top soon! 1.1711 0.04348 76 63 13 0
4250 Be proud of your remarkable growth. Two feet! 1.1711 0.05091 76 65 9 2
4251 You're an acquired taste. 1.1711 0.04734 76 64 11 1
4252 Maybe there’s such a thing as a healthy fear of falls and you’re dreams of falling are actually quite common. 1.1711 0.04348 76 63 13 0
4253 You need to put that Bush remark behind you. 1.1711 0.05091 76 65 9 2
4254 We all want to be loved for who we are, rather than being hidden under a pile of mashed potato. 1.1711 0.04734 76 64 11 1
4255 It's good to eat your vegetables... you didn't have to become one. 1.1711 0.05091 76 65 9 2
4256 Don’t worry about how you will be remembered as your little acorns will grow into mighty trees! 1.1711 0.05091 76 65 9 2
4257 ...And I told her that there's just been too much on my mind lately. 1.1711 0.04734 76 64 11 1
4258 So this feeling of FOMO began when Peter Jackson wrapped the Lord of The Rings Trilogy ? 1.1711 0.04348 76 63 13 0
4259 Not to worry. Just a benign side effect f hypnosis 1.1711 0.04348 76 63 13 0
4260 Firstly, you weren’t born in a cabbage patch. 1.1711 0.04734 76 64 11 1
4261 Don't be afraid of asking for a hug. 1.1711 0.04348 76 63 13 0
4262 I think we will have to dig up the roots of your discomfort.” 1.1711 0.04348 76 63 13 0
4263 Sure most people hate you, but you need to know you are good for people. 1.1711 0.04734 76 64 11 1
4264 That is really upsetting. I'd be steamed too. 1.1711 0.04734 76 64 11 1
4265 Have you thought about branching out? 1.1711 0.05091 76 65 9 2
4266 The is a hard phase, between little acorn and mighty oak. 1.1711 0.05091 76 65 9 2
4267 So, the last time you said you felt Rabed of your youth…” 1.1711 0.05091 76 65 9 2
4268 Well, technically we're all victims of climate change. 1.1711 0.05091 76 65 9 2
4269 Look, Bill, I know it seems bleak, but at least you're not a Weeping Willow. 1.1711 0.04348 76 63 13 0
4270 Fires, drought, deforestation. If I was a tree with legs, my knees would be shaking, too 1.1711 0.05091 76 65 9 2
4271 You've every right to get cheesed. But will that help? 1.1707 0.05149 82 71 8 3
4272 It’s not unusual for a patient to identify with her therapist. 1.1707 0.04527 82 69 12 1
4273 They say I am changing? or they don't want me to change? Can't they just accept me as I am? 1.1707 0.04527 82 69 12 1
4274 I'm trying to determine why you're always feeling so bitter. 1.1707 0.04181 82 68 14 0
4275 I’m hearing you say that not knowing if you’re a small tree or a giant broccoli is hard for you. 1.1707 0.04527 82 69 12 1
4276 Your boyfriend is all stalk and no floret. 1.1707 0.04527 82 69 12 1
4277 We're not in Brooklyn anymore. We're in Queens. 1.1707 0.04848 82 70 10 2
4278 I’m afraid you have a new thing called OCGWD - obsessive compulsive global warming disorder. 1.1707 0.04527 82 69 12 1
4279 I just can’t seem to reconcile the part of me that wants to… stalk and the part of me that wants to… leave. 1.1707 0.04527 82 69 12 1
4280 So, what seems to be the problem?' 1.1707 0.05149 82 71 8 3
4281 I've lived here for years and still feel rootless. Do you have any idea what that's like? 1.1707 0.04527 82 69 12 1
4282 And what makes you feel you're being stalked?' 1.1707 0.04848 82 70 10 2
4283 All these new vegans are killing us doc. 1.1707 0.04527 82 69 12 1
4284 So, what I'm hearing you say is that nobody likes you. You go to a club, they pass you around and everyone says, no thank you. 1.1707 0.04527 82 69 12 1
4285 Look on the bright side: people who hate you won't eat you, but people who love you will. 1.1707 0.04181 82 68 14 0
4286 If there's a bustle in your hedgerow, don't be alarmed now. 1.1707 0.04527 82 69 12 1
4287 So what if everyone thinks the orange chicken is out of your league? All that matters is how she feels 1.1707 0.04848 82 70 10 2
4288 Clearly we are missing the root of the problem. 1.1705 0.04634 88 75 11 2
4289 You can leave at anytime, but I wish you wouldn't. I just had this place cleaned. 1.1705 0.04343 88 74 13 1
4290 I bet a lot of people think you're broccoli, right? Do they? Do a lot of people think you're broccoli? 1.1705 0.04343 88 74 13 1
4291 Yes, I do understand. I was an intern under President George H. W. Bush. The topic came up often. 1.1705 0.04634 88 75 11 2
4292 What makes you think that when you get steamed up, people want want to bite you? 1.1705 0.04343 88 74 13 1
4293 So, with the passing of the ex-president, you feel your own trauma has manifested without possibility of resolution? 1.1705 0.04031 88 73 15 0
4294 No, you're not a tree. You are just a big head of broccoli 1.1705 0.04634 88 75 11 2
4295 (YOUR idiot shade wordplay here.) 1.1705 0.04634 88 75 11 2
4296 These timeouts are messing with the room’s feng shui. 1.1702 0.04696 94 81 10 3
4297 Let's see if I have this right. In your dream, you feel like you are falling and then you wake up and never find out what happened? 1.1702 0.04180 94 79 14 1
4298 I’m afraid finding your roots is Dr. Gates’ department. 1.1702 0.04180 94 79 14 1
4299 I hear what you're saying but who is the axe? 1.1702 0.04446 94 80 12 2
4300 That was insensitive of me. You aren't nuts. 1.1700 0.04726 100 87 9 4
4301 George Bush? Really? It’s time to move on with your life. 1.1692 0.05174 65 55 9 1
4302 I can see why you would have issues in using Tinder dating site. 1.1692 0.05620 65 56 7 2
4303 OK, your father was Euell Gibbons, who was your mother? 1.1692 0.05620 65 56 7 2
4304 I understand your dilemma. I can’t tell if you’re a tree or broccoli, either. 1.1692 0.04687 65 54 11 0
4305 To recap, you're telling me four things: 1) Your pronoun is "they." 2) As a broccoli plant you have male and also femail parts. 3) Farm chemicals render you self-incompatibile. 4) Therefore you want to divorce yourself. Have I got that right? 1.1692 0.05620 65 56 7 2
4306 I know it is not easy being green. Just ask Kermit. 1.1692 0.04687 65 54 11 0
4307 I think once read a book about you - were you born in Brooklyn? 1.1692 0.05174 65 55 9 1
4308 What I'm hearing is that you feel unappreciated and afraid of being cheesy. 1.1690 0.05669 71 62 6 3
4309 Bearing in mind your health insurance is paying me $250 an appointment to help you with your crippling self-esteem issues, I have to say, and please don't take this the wrong way: you taste like shit. Children are right to hate you. 1.1690 0.05669 71 62 6 3
4310 How do you feel about not being a mighty oak but merely a broccoli spear? 1.1690 0.04908 71 60 10 1
4311 I don't think they really wanted you to leave. 1.1690 0.05302 71 61 8 2
4312 Stay away from dairy products, 1.1690 0.05669 71 62 6 3
4313 It's not your fault you're not a Christmas tree. 1.1690 0.04908 71 60 10 1
4314 When did you start using a broccoli-based shampoo? 1.1690 0.05669 71 62 6 3
4315 I keep dreaming of Bloody Mary, not the person. 1.1690 0.04479 71 59 12 0
4316 When did this bird phobia begin? 1.1690 0.04908 71 60 10 1
4317 It sounds like your fear of setting down roots is actually what's starving you 1.1690 0.04908 71 60 10 1
4318 So what I hear you saying is that you feel disconnected from your family roots... 1.1690 0.04479 71 59 12 0
4319 Well, lately I feel like...it's just so hard...being green! 1.1690 0.05302 71 61 8 2
4320 But, I hear you, now! You're not alone in the woods anymore. 1.1690 0.04479 71 59 12 0
4321 Waiting for an appointment with your hairdresser could be the cause of your current anxiety 1.1690 0.04479 71 59 12 0
4322 I don't normally prescribe drugs, but in your case I believe a silvicultural prescription would be appropriate. 1.1690 0.04908 71 60 10 1
4323 Sounds like the root of your problem started after you logged in to that knotty Weeping Willow site." 1.1690 0.05302 71 61 8 2
4324 I may hate you, but not everyone does. 1.1688 0.04297 77 64 13 0
4325 I wouldn't worry your florets about that. 1.1688 0.04297 77 64 13 0
4326 I promise it will be quick. 1.1688 0.05359 77 67 7 3
4327 Yes, discovering your roots is going to be problematic. 1.1688 0.05030 77 66 9 2
4328 I'm afraid I have a stalker. 1.1688 0.04678 77 65 11 1
4329 Yes, it is is troubling that you did not hear yourself when you fell 1.1688 0.05030 77 66 9 2
4330 I understand that most children hate you, but on the positive side, remember that they may learn to like you once they've grown up. 1.1688 0.04678 77 65 11 1
4331 I won't judge you if you leave . 1.1688 0.05030 77 66 9 2
4332 Lets address your fixation on butter and cheese. 1.1688 0.04678 77 65 11 1
4333 So what I’m hearing is that deforestation is the source of your anxiety. 1.1688 0.04297 77 64 13 0
4334 Not everyone will butter you up. 1.1688 0.04678 77 65 11 1
4335 Oh no no no, 'head-shrinker' is just a metaphor. 1.1688 0.05030 77 66 9 2
4336 My heart t chokes 1.1688 0.05030 77 66 9 2
4337 You don't have bushels of problems. You are a tree. 1.1688 0.04297 77 64 13 0
4338 How long have you felt you were coniferous and not deciduous? 1.1688 0.04678 77 65 11 1
4339 It's perfectly acceptable to want to know more about your roots. 1.1688 0.04678 77 65 11 1
4340 So,they don’t love you for yourself, just for the sulfuophanes? 1.1688 0.05030 77 66 9 2
4341 And how did it make you feel when the acorn rolled far from the tree? 1.1688 0.04678 77 65 11 1
4342 Just go and tell people that you don't like them either. 1.1688 0.05030 77 66 9 2
4343 I said, “stalk”, not “stalker”. 1.1688 0.05359 77 67 7 3
4344 You’re still beautiful, even if no one wants to eat you. 1.1688 0.04678 77 65 11 1
4345 Think about your gas as your super power. You can clear a room. 1.1687 0.04476 83 70 12 1
4346 I think I woud rather be something other than a tree. 1.1687 0.04135 83 69 14 0
4347 And what makes you think no one loves you? 1.1687 0.04793 83 71 10 2
4348 Role reversal 1.1687 0.04476 83 70 12 1
4349 A sedentary lifestyle is one cause of depression. 1.1687 0.05091 83 72 8 3
4350 You're just too much in your head. 1.1687 0.04793 83 71 10 2
4351 Actually, dreams of being in a wok with other vegetables is quite common. 1.1687 0.04476 83 70 12 1
4352 Son, I just wish you'd call your mother often. 1.1687 0.04793 83 71 10 2
4353 I talk to the trees, but they don't listen to me. 1.1687 0.04793 83 71 10 2
4354 Dana Carvey isn't real,he can't hurt you. 1.1687 0.04476 83 70 12 1
4355 yes, it's hard being green 1.1687 0.04476 83 70 12 1
4356 Yes, I understand you are anxious about global warming. 1.1687 0.04476 83 70 12 1
4357 There's no reason for such self-hatred, Bob. Lots of people LOVE broccoli! 1.1687 0.04476 83 70 12 1
4358 But you do have a good head on your shoulders. 1.1687 0.04476 83 70 12 1
4359 So...when did the kids stop climbing you? 1.1687 0.04476 83 70 12 1
4360 Your recurring dream of being turned into toilet paper is not unrealistic. 1.1687 0.04476 83 70 12 1
4361 You've been scooping up field mice again haven't you? 1.1687 0.04476 83 70 12 1
4362 'Up a tree without a ladder' really doesn't apply to you. 1.1687 0.04793 83 71 10 2
4363 You can’t see the woods for the trees? 1.1687 0.04476 83 70 12 1
4364 What do you mean by “squirrelly”? 1.1687 0.04476 83 70 12 1
4365 I asked you to TELL me about your dream. 1.1687 0.04476 83 70 12 1
4366 Let's see if we can get to the root of your problem, Mr. Broccoli. 1.1685 0.04299 89 75 13 1
4367 Cruciferous? Or crucifer “I”? 1.1685 0.04299 89 75 13 1
4368 Growth is good. 1.1685 0.04299 89 75 13 1
4369 So, what is your carbon dioxide index this week? 1.1685 0.03991 89 74 15 0
4370 People seem to like you a lot more when you hang out with cheese. 1.1685 0.03991 89 74 15 0
4371 I think you’re taking it too personally—thinking the anti-stalking laws are about you 1.1685 0.04299 89 75 13 1
4372 Tell me more about the way your constant association with Cheddar makes you feel. 1.1685 0.04586 89 76 11 2
4373 Maybe yew just need to branch out. You know, turn over a new leaf? 1.1685 0.03991 89 74 15 0
4374 Just because you were a small acorn doesn’t mean you can’t be a big tree…. 1.1685 0.04299 89 75 13 1
4375 It's a Christmas tree stand. It's not a mid evil torcher device.... 1.1684 0.04402 95 81 12 2
4376 If you'll excuse me for a moment, I have some soy-ginger sauce simmering in the kitchen. 1.1684 0.04140 95 80 14 1
4377 Having a Mental Disease can affect your breathing which Does also affect My breathing. 1.1684 0.03860 95 79 16 0
4378 Trust me. I'm a psychiatreest. 1.1667 0.04970 78 67 9 2
4379 Who knows how many florets they meant to have Bob. There are no mistakes, just happy little accidents. 1.1667 0.05233 72 62 8 2
4380 Let's see if I've got this right. Your family did well with your mother. But problems began with your father, poison oak? 1.1667 0.04247 78 65 13 0
4381 Yeah, sorry- gonna need to recuse myself. 1.1667 0.04623 78 66 11 1
4382 So, every time you get really steamed - you send out a questionable odor? 1.1667 0.04970 78 67 9 2
4383 I’m gonna get an axe and cut you into firewood you motherfucking piece of shit!!! 1.1667 0.04623 78 66 11 1
4384 You live too much in your head. 1.1667 0.04970 78 67 9 2
4385 Isn't it possible that President Bush wasn't referring to you, personally? 1.1667 0.04423 72 60 12 0
4386 Why do you think it's so hard to shed your leaves? 1.1667 0.04091 84 70 14 0
4387 Yes, you could say it fits within a spectrum. 1.1667 0.04623 78 66 11 1
4388 You want to change your name to Al Dente? 1.1667 0.04623 78 66 11 1
4389 You really need to leave these things behind you. What will Spring look like for you if you do not start letting them go? 1.1667 0.04970 78 67 9 2
4390 It must hurt getting called a tree. 1.1667 0.04427 84 71 12 1
4391 I think you've taken this 'veg out' concept a bit too far. 1.1667 0.05102 66 56 9 1
4392 I know you want to be loved for the whole you, but I think you need to get out of your head." 1.1667 0.04970 78 67 9 2
4393 Before we begin our initial session, I have to ask... How do you open doors or push elevator buttons? 1.1667 0.05311 84 74 6 4
4394 If you got some good boots, you wouldn't have dog pee stains on your feet. 1.1667 0.04091 84 70 14 0
4395 I’d have to agree with Nadine. Your physical makeup is not an excuse for your stalking behavior. 1.1667 0.04247 78 65 13 0
4396 So let me get this straight, you wish to identify as a hedge but you are receiving too much bush-back about it. 1.1667 0.04427 84 71 12 1
4397 Frankly, if I had to stand day and night and support 532 species of insects, I’d feel exhausted too. 1.1667 0.04845 72 61 10 1
4398 My apologies. I thought it meant ear, nose and throat. 1.1667 0.05034 84 73 8 3
4399 As I've told you many times already, your fear of Dana Carvey is irrational. 1.1667 0.04623 78 66 11 1
4400 When did you realize you were a Weeping Willow trapped inside a Sugar Maple? 1.1667 0.04623 78 66 11 1
4401 You meet the most interesting characters in this doctor's waiting room! 1.1667 0.04255 90 76 13 1
4402 What do think triggered these cruciferous thoughts? 1.1667 0.05233 72 62 8 2
4403 - Tell me about your relationship with your mother. - She’s dying and they’re cutting me off. 1.1667 0.05034 84 73 8 3
4404 If a tree falls in the forest question is actually the sign of fear of failing. 1.1667 0.04970 78 67 9 2
4405 It’s not cultural appropriation; it’s my natural hair. Now can we begin your session? 1.1667 0.05595 72 63 6 3
4406 Your quest for personal growth is laudable but it's not clear to me where you see yourself in, say, five years time? 1.1667 0.03950 90 75 15 0
4407 I sometimes feel like I should be on that couch . . . 1.1667 0.05600 78 69 5 4
4408 Maybe he meant "a people able to reassess their history is like a tree with feet"? 1.1667 0.04623 66 55 11 0
4409 Yes, well, speaking of 'Roots,' ... 1.1667 0.04845 72 61 10 1
4410 No, you aren't paranoid. You are being stalked. 1.1667 0.04806 90 78 9 3
4411 So you say you are the tree of life 1.1667 0.04091 84 70 14 0
4412 Don't worry. Someday you will grow and become a beautiful garden shack. 1.1667 0.05595 72 63 6 3
4413 My head just feels like it’s in pieces. All broken up… 1.1667 0.05403 60 51 8 1
4414 It’s about perspective. I think you’re missing the forest … 1.1667 0.05034 84 73 8 3
4415 You are enough, no matter how short-lived the New Year's resolution. 1.1667 0.04740 84 72 10 2
4416 Breath. I can tell you for a fact that you're not a couch potato. 1.1667 0.04427 84 71 12 1
4417 I know it’s been a tough year but you have been standing strong 1.1667 0.04845 72 61 10 1
4418 We're getting closer to identifying the root of your problem. 1.1667 0.04970 78 67 9 2
4419 It’s when others throw shade, I feel inadequate. 1.1667 0.04845 72 61 10 1
4420 I need to get to the root of my problem, doc. 1.1667 0.04970 78 67 9 2
4421 …and how does being cruciferous make you feel? 1.1667 0.04845 72 61 10 1
4422 I hear you that you are not seen as an individual tree, but only as part of the forest. 1.1667 0.04247 78 65 13 0
4423 You have to move on. Your yellow flowers are not coming. You wanted a big head. 1.1667 0.04845 72 61 10 1
4424 My responses are a little wooden? 1.1667 0.05233 72 62 8 2
4425 I know it ain't easy. 1.1667 0.05540 66 57 7 2
4426 I think we’re finally getting to the root of your problems 1.1667 0.05233 72 62 8 2
4427 When you did you realize you'd fallen too far from the tree? 1.1667 0.04623 78 66 11 1
4428 Do you feel that being with beef completes you? 1.1667 0.04623 78 66 11 1
4429 I think you need to reconnect with your roots. 1.1667 0.05233 72 62 8 2
4430 You shouldn't need validation from others. What really matters is how you think you taste. 1.1667 0.04247 78 65 13 0
4431 I think the main issue is that you can’t see the forest for the trees. 1.1667 0.05294 78 68 7 3
4432 You saw the bear do WHAT in the woods? 1.1667 0.05300 90 80 5 5
4433 Everybody’s never going to love you. 1.1667 0.05233 72 62 8 2
4434 I say it's psychology, and I say the hell with it. 1.1667 0.05102 66 56 9 1
4435 So so say you’re suffering from seasonal hair loss 1.1667 0.04845 72 61 10 1
4436 Yeah, I get that! But did anyone HEAR you fall? 1.1667 0.04427 84 71 12 1
4437 The world won’t stop hating you until you stop hating yourself. 1.1667 0.04845 72 61 10 1
4438 Her telling you to leave can be taken two ways. 1.1667 0.04247 78 65 13 0
4439 "So tell me why it is you believe you are not loved. 1.1650 0.03926 103 87 15 1
4440 If you don’t get off my coach, then I have to sleep in Central Park. 1.1649 0.04789 97 85 8 4
4441 How did it feel when Jenny said she hated you? 1.1649 0.04560 97 84 10 3
4442 Well, of course I'm going to eat you. I'm not even a therapist. Honestly, I don't know what you were thinking. But on the plus side, you won't have to worry about the anxiety... 1.1649 0.04318 97 83 12 2
4443 Tell me more about how you think Emerson and Thoreau converted you to Transcendentalism. 1.1648 0.04492 91 78 11 2
4444 You should be able to reproduce, but it's not clear to what end. 1.1648 0.04212 91 77 13 1
4445 Could you understand the feeling of a leftover broccoli?” 1.1648 0.04492 91 78 11 2
4446 When it comes to careers, you definitely have a head for the vegetarian foodie market! 1.1648 0.04756 91 79 9 3
4447 So what if you're not rabe? 1.1648 0.03911 91 76 15 0
4448 Wow. Your inner broccolini sounds like a jerk. 1.1648 0.04492 91 78 11 2
4449 I could tell you that these fears about being passed over for the brussels sprouts are all in your head, but . . . 1.1648 0.04212 91 77 13 1
4450 So,you say your ex accused you of being a stalker? 1.1647 0.04047 85 71 14 0
4451 In your case, acrophobia could be a problem. 1.1647 0.04047 85 71 14 0
4452 As long as you don’t use paper 1.1647 0.04379 85 72 12 1
4453 Look, I hear that everyone hates you but you really need to work on your positive affirmations! 1.1647 0.04978 85 74 8 3
4454 Face it - nobody really likes you. 1.1647 0.04688 85 73 10 2
4455 The problem seems to be never knowing your roots. 1.1647 0.04688 85 73 10 2
4456 I feel your ego needs to let go of your leaves’s beauty. 1.1647 0.04379 85 72 12 1
4457 I’m going to help you cope with your traumatic seed experience. 1.1646 0.04198 79 66 13 0
4458 Your vegan diet thing has kicked into overdrive. 1.1646 0.05231 79 69 7 3
4459 A lot of my patients feel rootless. 1.1646 0.04198 79 66 13 0
4460 Are you busy for dinner after this? 1.1646 0.04568 79 67 11 1
4461 Spill the beans 1.1646 0.04911 79 68 9 2
4462 You resent your mother because she told you to 'Eat your broccoli? 1.1646 0.04911 79 68 9 2
4463 Listen Mr. Broccoli, it is not that I don't like you, but there is this gene you see... 1.1646 0.04198 79 66 13 0
4464 I just feel like I'm always in your shadow. 1.1646 0.04568 79 67 11 1
4465 My diagnosis is that I am having a nightmare. 1.1646 0.04911 79 68 9 2
4466 OK. So you made a big noise when you hit the ground. There was no one there to hear you. I can't tell if you're telling the truth or not. 1.1646 0.05231 79 69 7 3
4467 Of COURSE you have more to offer than your crown. 1.1646 0.04568 79 67 11 1
4468 I know, you need more hugs, but don't hold your breath. 1.1646 0.04911 79 68 9 2
4469 Mr. Green it appears that your problems are all in your head. Submitted by Mark Blitstein 1.1646 0.04568 79 67 11 1
4470 Why do you say we are no longer compatible because I turned vegan? 1.1646 0.04911 79 68 9 2
4471 Reframe yourself as the acorn that made it. 1.1646 0.04568 79 67 11 1
4472 Do you identify as broccoli or nonbinary? 1.1646 0.04568 79 67 11 1
4473 I think you need to branch out some more. 1.1646 0.04568 79 67 11 1
4474 How do you feel about not being in Nordic Diet? 1.1646 0.04198 79 66 13 0
4475 Why do you think you're afraid of putting down roots? 1.1646 0.04568 79 67 11 1
4476 When the redwoods called you 'Little Broc' how did it make you feel? 1.1644 0.04784 73 62 10 1
4477 I'm confused. Do you want to be called a tree or broccoli? 1.1644 0.05166 73 63 8 2
4478 How long have you felt rootless 1.1644 0.05166 73 63 8 2
4479 No, you're not a nut; you're just having an identity crisis. 1.1644 0.04784 73 62 10 1
4480 How many broccolini do you have “that you know of”? 1.1644 0.04368 73 61 12 0
4481 We're going to have to get to the roots of your arboraphobia before you'll ever be able to branch out. 1.1644 0.05522 73 64 6 3
4482 'What makes you think someone's stalking you?' 1.1644 0.05166 73 63 8 2
4483 So it all started when someone stepped on you when you were just a sapling. 1.1644 0.05522 73 64 6 3
4484 How long have you had this compulsion to jump into cheese soup? 1.1644 0.05166 73 63 8 2
4485 Being liked by everyone is not all it's cracked up to be! 1.1644 0.04368 73 61 12 0
4486 Do you ever feel like people just push you assign to get to something better. 1.1644 0.04368 73 61 12 0
4487 Pohtato, patato, avocado, maple, who cares? I need help. 1.1644 0.04784 73 62 10 1
4488 My rule in life is if you are different, be proud of it. Why do you think they call me Broccoli Rob? 1.1644 0.04784 73 62 10 1
4489 Doc, I’m having a very hard time trying to branch out. Any leaves of wisdom for me? 1.1644 0.04784 73 62 10 1
4490 I'll have what she's having. 1.1644 0.04784 73 62 10 1
4491 So why to you think you are being stalked? 1.1644 0.05166 73 63 8 2
4492 Let's talk about your need for everyone to like you. 1.1644 0.04368 73 61 12 0
4493 And when did you first start feeling jealously towards Groot? 1.1644 0.04368 73 61 12 0
4494 So everybody wants to call you Albert and talk about James Bond. 1.1644 0.04784 73 62 10 1
4495 I know dogs are ennoying, but you really have to go back to work before they notice. 1.1642 0.05462 67 58 7 2
4496 So last time we discussed your delusion about being a large broccoli, and your desire to be a small tree instead. 1.1642 0.04560 67 56 11 0
4497 I am sorry we don't accept oxygen as a payment source. Frank Buckley Andover MA 1.1642 0.05462 67 58 7 2
4498 Let’s talk about why you don’t want to put down roots. 1.1642 0.05031 67 57 9 1
4499 Remember, it's not easy being green 1.1642 0.04560 67 56 11 0
4500 Do you feel and look good after the veggie diet? 1.1642 0.05031 67 57 9 1
4501 I' m doubtful this is what they meant by "going green". 1.1642 0.05862 67 59 5 3
4502 How long are you going to hold onto the trauma of being banned from the White House during the first Bush administration? It's been over 30 years. Let it go. 1.1642 0.05462 67 58 7 2
4503 Obviously, you aren't grounded in reality 1.1642 0.05862 67 59 5 3
4504 I'm so sorry the Lorax has been canceled by the school board. 1.1642 0.05462 67 58 7 2
4505 .. and when did you realise they had left you in this forest. 1.1642 0.04560 67 56 11 0
4506 Existential crisis as explained by the tree of doom 1.1642 0.05031 67 57 9 1
4507 The ‘70s are coming back… your afro will be all the rage. 1.1639 0.05321 61 52 8 1
4508 I'm sorry that's a little outside my area of expertise" 1.1639 0.04779 61 51 10 0
4509 It's Saturday night. I don't want to "just veg." 1.1639 0.05321 61 52 8 1
4510 I am tried of being everyone’s least favorite vegetable. 1.1639 0.04779 61 51 10 0
4511 I just can't take you logging down like this. 1.1639 0.04779 61 51 10 0
4512 I think you’re getting ahead of yourself. 1.1635 0.03891 104 88 15 1
4513 You’ve defined your existential quest rather starkly: branch out or put down roots. How you grow from and integrate this seed of awareness seems like an appropriate question for starting our session today. 1.1633 0.04516 98 85 10 3
4514 So you decided to leave your job and branch out but had a breakdown? 1.1630 0.04447 92 79 11 2
4515 My advice? Get your head together and stop stalking. 1.1630 0.04447 92 79 11 2
4516 It's a bad poem, but there is no reason for you to feel guilty. And Joyce Kilmer died before you were even a seed. 1.1630 0.04708 92 80 9 3
4517 Sidelined how? 1.1628 0.04004 86 72 14 0
4518 How did your family react when you dropped out of dental school to become a professional tree impersonator? 1.1628 0.04637 86 74 10 2
4519 Well, this is not what I had in mind when I said you needed to branch out. 1.1628 0.04332 86 73 12 1
4520 You aren't poplar in the forest anymore? Oak kay that's a beech! 1.1628 0.04332 86 73 12 1
4521 Don't you think it's time you stopped couch surfing and put down some...roots? 1.1628 0.04004 86 72 14 0
4522 I know the root of your problem… 1.1628 0.04332 86 73 12 1
4523 So what’s got you down? 1.1628 0.04332 86 73 12 1
4524 Before we begin, do you need to be watered? 1.1628 0.04332 86 73 12 1
4525 It's poofy enough. Can we go now? 1.1625 0.04853 80 69 9 2
4526 The idea was for you to grow as a person. 1.1625 0.04853 80 69 9 2
4527 It doesn't matter that your mother was cauliflower, you'll be seen as broccoli by everyone you met. 1.1625 0.04853 80 69 9 2
4528 If you tasted like fried chicken, everyone would love you. 1.1625 0.04516 80 68 11 1
4529 What do you mean you parents were a couple of saps? 1.1625 0.04516 80 68 11 1
4530 It all started when I was a small sprout. I knew, I was different from all the other sprouts.... 1.1625 0.04853 80 69 9 2
4531 Perhaps you would feel better if we went and stood outside? 1.1625 0.05169 80 70 7 3
4532 In time of seasonal loss of leaves I recommend calisthenics. 1.1625 0.05169 80 70 7 3
4533 I am sorry for the confusion. When I said "don't let it go to your head", I was referring to your ego. 1.1625 0.04853 80 69 9 2
4534 You can't sue me. It's all in your head. 1.1625 0.04516 80 68 11 1
4535 Are you sure your mom is cauliflower? 1.1625 0.04853 80 69 9 2
4536 And being the great hope of ignorant mankind is getting you down? 1.1625 0.04516 80 68 11 1
4537 Well, you seem to have grown a big head this year. 1.1625 0.04516 80 68 11 1
4538 Yes, I would say that a dream about a giant killer vegan would be VERY significant. 1.1625 0.04516 80 68 11 1
4539 But if Broccoli IS the new cabbage patch, you are going to be BIG, doll! 1.1625 0.04516 80 68 11 1
4540 are you a vegetable, or a small tree. 1.1625 0.04516 80 68 11 1
4541 Are you feeling uprooted? 1.1622 0.04724 74 63 10 1
4542 I’m sorry buddy, you can’t crash here anymore. This isn’t even my apartment, it’s the break room at The New Yorker magazine. Yeah, the one from the caption contest. Pretty wild that they went meta with this one, right? 1.1622 0.05451 74 65 6 3
4543 So how does it feel to be the Tree of Knowledge? 1.1622 0.04724 74 63 10 1
4544 Tell me about the conflicting emotions you arbor. 1.1622 0.04724 74 63 10 1
4545 Sorry, was that "sell a tree" or "celery"? 1.1622 0.04724 74 63 10 1
4546 We need to decorate and, unlike you, the drapes need to match the carpet. 1.1622 0.05101 74 64 8 2
4547 A potato tree? 1.1622 0.04314 74 62 12 0
4548 So, when did you become a vegetarian? 1.1622 0.05451 74 65 6 3
4549 No, "Pine nuts" not a listed mental illness. 1.1622 0.05451 74 65 6 3
4550 Have you thought of changing your name to something like Fleur Vert? 1.1622 0.04724 74 63 10 1
4551 When you fall, it does make a sound. 1.1622 0.05451 74 65 6 3
4552 I just can't handle my 'Fro 1.1622 0.04724 74 63 10 1
4553 Let's discuss this recurring feeling that "nobody really likes you." 1.1622 0.04724 74 63 10 1
4554 I am not stalking you. 1.1622 0.04314 74 62 12 0
4555 I don't know whether to make a stalking joke or a vegetable joke. 1.1622 0.04314 74 62 12 0
4556 Great hairdo! I understand your fear of Fall! 1.1622 0.05101 74 64 8 2
4557 If you go to college, it should be because you want to go to college, not because you want people to think you're a cauliflower. 1.1622 0.04724 74 63 10 1
4558 I’m taking this week off.” 1.1622 0.04724 74 63 10 1
4559 You are actually making tree-mendous progress! 1.1622 0.04724 74 63 10 1
4560 Let's explore. Who IS Groot? 1.1622 0.05451 74 65 6 3
4561 I understand you want to feel better, let’s get you better tree-atment. 1.1622 0.05451 74 65 6 3
4562 Well, just because no one heard you fall in no way diminishes the trauma, Mr Pine. 1.1622 0.04314 74 62 12 0
4563 Since Covid, nobody cares about me any more to sit under my branches. 1.1622 0.05101 74 64 8 2
4564 Heard it through the grapevine that you are a good head shrinker 1.1622 0.04314 74 62 12 0
4565 You're telling me you are Bruce Lee's brother Broc? 1.1619 0.04306 105 91 11 3
4566 With global warming, your biggest concern should not be squirrels living rent free in your branches. 1.1618 0.04963 68 58 9 1
4567 Sorry you can never be a couch potato 1.1618 0.04499 68 57 11 0
4568 You keep having nightmares of sawing logs? 1.1618 0.05387 68 59 7 2
4569 You're depressed because everyone loves your hair but hates your body? 1.1618 0.04499 68 57 11 0
4570 I love you son, but you need to stop laying around all day like a vegetable 1.1618 0.05780 68 60 5 3
4571 I hear you saying you are feeling the alienation of the urban landscape. 1.1618 0.04499 68 57 11 0
4572 Dude! It's time for you to make like a tree and... well, you know! 1.1618 0.05387 68 59 7 2
4573 I agree that it's better than broccolini 1.1618 0.05387 68 59 7 2
4574 Trepidation over global warming should be at your core 1.1618 0.05387 68 59 7 2
4575 You seem to be a bit stiff, today. 1.1618 0.04963 68 58 9 1
4576 You should never keep your Salmonella a secret. 1.1618 0.05387 68 59 7 2
4577 Of course, some of those little ones will prefer french fries... but that doesn't mean they hate you! 1.1618 0.04963 68 58 9 1
4578 I'm getting a headache. 1.1618 0.04963 68 58 9 1
4579 You think you're a tree! I'd say you look more like a stalk of broccoli. 1.1618 0.04499 68 57 11 0
4580 Of course people like you... it's just that ...well, you're a little weird. 1.1616 0.03986 99 84 14 1
4581 Yes, the New Yorker DID say the hell with you, but that was a century ago. 1.1616 0.04237 99 85 12 2
4582 Seems like you’re feeling that carrot and ranch are more popular than you. 1.1613 0.04709 62 52 10 0
4583 Are you sure you don’t produce oxygen? 1.1613 0.04402 93 80 11 2
4584 You probably should stop the Mediterranean diet for a while. Try eating some meat. 1.1613 0.05723 62 54 6 2
4585 It seems your problem stems from leaves. 1.1613 0.04709 62 52 10 0
4586 You can only take so much carbon dioxide on your shoulders, man, relax. 1.1613 0.04709 62 52 10 0
4587 Yes, thats's important. I can give you a referral for a surrogate cross-pollination. 1.1613 0.04402 93 80 11 2
4588 Agoraphobia is a serious condition, but we can help you get back to the field. 1.1613 0.05241 62 53 8 1
4589 Let’s not get a head of ourselves. 1.1613 0.04709 62 52 10 0
4590 Tell me, do you frequently have broccoli on your mind 1.1609 0.04286 87 74 12 1
4591 Come on, Freida, roots off the couch. 1.1609 0.04588 87 75 10 2
4592 Tell me about yourself? 1.1609 0.04286 87 74 12 1
4593 I know I said you needed to branch out, but now let's focus on your tendency to take everything literally. 1.1609 0.04286 87 74 12 1
4594 Patient: I'm feeling rootless, doc. Doctor: Perhaps it's time to branch out. 1.1609 0.04870 87 76 8 3
4595 I can imagine how hard it is to not feel cruciferous on the inside. 1.1609 0.04286 87 74 12 1
4596 So, when you heard that President Reagan said that "trees cause pollution," how did that make you feel? 1.1609 0.04286 87 74 12 1
4597 You can’t let Rob’s bitterness get in your head. 1.1605 0.04797 81 70 9 2
4598 Mr. Oak, it's perfectly normal to lose them in the fall and re-grow them in the spring. 1.1605 0.04797 81 70 9 2
4599 Did you have a difficult childhood 1.1605 0.04464 81 69 11 1
4600 If you don't like being covered with cheddar cheese, what do you like? 1.1605 0.04797 81 70 9 2
4601 Can't you just let go of that huge weight you feel hanging over your head? 1.1605 0.05109 81 71 7 3
4602 I think you have a cruciferous complex. 1.1605 0.04797 81 70 9 2
4603 I feel close to the hedge. 1.1605 0.04104 81 68 13 0
4604 Looks like a case of Attachment Disorder. 1.1605 0.04797 81 70 9 2
4605 Were you in the lease? 1.1605 0.04104 81 68 13 0
4606 I am Groot 1.1605 0.05109 81 71 7 3
4607 Well, you do wear your pain like a crown. 1.1605 0.04104 81 68 13 0
4608 I don’t think it’s depression. It may be your diet. 1.1605 0.04797 81 70 9 2
4609 Well, I'm afraid your hour is up, so if you would be so kind as to make like a tr ... uhh ... well ... you know ... 1.1605 0.04797 81 70 9 2
4610 Don’t worry, two l,s or two c’s….you’re still broccoli. 1.1605 0.04464 81 69 11 1
4611 Have you checked your maternal haplogroup? 1.1605 0.04464 81 69 11 1
4612 You always come here and veg out. 1.1605 0.05109 81 71 7 3
4613 I don't think there's an actual Greek word for this, so let's just call it lumberjackphobia. 1.1600 0.04665 75 64 10 1
4614 I can treat your dissociation, just let me know who's here with me today. Crown? Stalk? Florets? 1.1600 0.05037 75 65 8 2
4615 So you say you had a bad maple syrup year? 1.1600 0.04262 75 63 12 0
4616 Arbor Day should be a day of celebration. It should not remind you that your family was killed by an axe murdered. 1.1600 0.04665 75 64 10 1
4617 I’m sure it’s difficult not to share your family’s views on forest management. 1.1600 0.05037 75 65 8 2
4618 All I can say is - don’t go jogging in certain neighborhoods. 1.1600 0.05037 75 65 8 2
4619 You suffer from Co2 anxiety disorder. 1.1600 0.05037 75 65 8 2
4620 So, let me see if I understand. This recurring nightmare of marrying a big, beautiful block of cheddar has you worried about being able to carry on with other side dishes?" 1.1600 0.04262 75 63 12 0
4621 Lets get a dog. 1.1600 0.05383 75 66 6 3
4622 Sounds like you’re moving on, full steam a head. 1.1600 0.05037 75 65 8 2
4623 So you think it was Mr. Brussel Sprout who got you pregnant? 1.1600 0.05383 75 66 6 3
4624 Were you surprised to discover your family tree? 1.1600 0.04665 75 64 10 1
4625 You feel inferior to broccolini. It \ 1.1600 0.04262 75 63 12 0
4626 If everyone says you're healthy, why do you hate yourself? 1.1600 0.05037 75 65 8 2
4627 Relax- growing out your florets is not cultural appropriation. 1.1600 0.05037 75 65 8 2
4628 And why do you think your real father may have been an evergreen, Miss Elm? 1.1600 0.04665 75 64 10 1
4629 You may want to rethink introducing yourself as a cruciferous vegetable 1.1600 0.04262 75 63 12 0
4630 I don't want to rush to a diagnosis but your issues may be related to your obvious fear of putting down roots. 1.1600 0.04197 100 86 12 2
4631 In your heartwood which are you a black oak or a white oak? 1.1600 0.04262 75 63 12 0
4632 I'm sure Mr Carrot loves you. 1.1600 0.05037 75 65 8 2
4633 I’ve told you not to attend sessions when you are trunk! 1.1600 0.04665 75 64 10 1
4634 Please stop stalking me. 1.1600 0.04665 75 64 10 1
4635 Brenda, why is there a tree in my office? 1.1600 0.05383 75 66 6 3
4636 Your struggles from a seed to a sprout appear to still be with you. 1.1596 0.04358 94 81 11 2
4637 So let’s get down to brassica tacks 1.1596 0.04358 94 81 11 2
4638 Now let's trade places. I need help going green. 1.1596 0.04088 94 80 13 1
4639 So, 0 to 10, how would you rate your headache? 1.1596 0.04613 94 82 9 3
4640 You were on RuPaul's Drag Race, and that makes you a winner. 1.1594 0.05313 69 60 7 2
4641 ...And, Doc, I even think seasonal depression causes some hair loss each year. 1.1594 0.04896 69 59 9 1
4642 Do I have to spend all my life as a vegetable? 1.1594 0.05313 69 60 7 2
4643 I understand you feel invisible, but it certainly beats being extinct. 1.1594 0.04896 69 59 9 1
4644 Sorry - you're just an asparagus with delusions of grandeur. 1.1594 0.04896 69 59 9 1
4645 They said eat more veggies and now I’m here 1.1594 0.04896 69 59 9 1
4646 So what makes you think you’ll be board in the future? 1.1594 0.04439 69 58 11 0
4647 So, you're not feeling grounded and you've got your head in the clouds? 1.1594 0.05700 69 61 5 3
4648 This isn't a Microsoft Organizational Unit... you're a tree, and belong in a REAL forest. Get over it! 1.1594 0.04896 69 59 9 1
4649 Can we hug already? 1.1594 0.04896 69 59 9 1
4650 Oh, fuck! 1.1594 0.04896 69 59 9 1
4651 I can see you have encountered an identity crisis. 1.1594 0.04439 69 58 11 0
4652 So, what's on your crown this week? 1.1591 0.04539 88 76 10 2
4653 Have you ever considered that maybe you're partially to blame for your Ent-Wife leaving you? 1.1591 0.04539 88 76 10 2
4654 Do you still feel like an imposter at work? 1.1591 0.04539 88 76 10 2
4655 Don’t take this the wrong way, but where are your roots? 1.1591 0.04241 88 75 12 1
4656 If I understand correctly, being a broccoli in a monochromatic world makes you sad? 1.1591 0.04241 88 75 12 1
4657 She says she talks to me but that I dont listen to her. 1.1587 0.05163 63 54 8 1
4658 I know it's hard to be uprooted, but don't get steamed. 1.1587 0.04641 63 53 10 0
4659 If you could be a tree, what kind of... errr.. what do you say we skip that one, eh? 1.1587 0.05163 63 54 8 1
4660 You’ll just have to find a way to like yourself. You can’t be all floret and I can’t ever give anyone a straightforward answer. 1.1585 0.04058 82 69 13 0
4661 I crave cookies too! 1.1585 0.04414 82 70 11 1
4662 Just because George Bush hates you doesn't mean you're not worthy. 1.1585 0.04743 82 71 9 2
4663 I''m stumped. Have you tried putting down roots? 1.1585 0.04414 82 70 11 1
4664 Tell me doc, is it just in my head? 1.1585 0.04414 82 70 11 1
4665 I feel certain I can help you dealing with shade. 1.1585 0.04743 82 71 9 2
4666 Getting roasted can take the spring out of any guys’ step. 1.1585 0.04058 82 69 13 0
4667 I don’t think the woodpecker is picking on you. 1.1585 0.04743 82 71 9 2
4668 All I see is cauliflower cauliflower cauliflower. Everywhere I look. Wings, pizza, all the greats. 1.1585 0.04414 82 70 11 1
4669 Don't worry, you aren't sick. You're just a sycamore. 1.1585 0.04743 82 71 9 2
4670 Yes, I thought your summary was quite pithy. 1.1585 0.04414 82 70 11 1
4671 I just get the feeling that something is about to fall. 1.1584 0.03913 101 86 14 1
4672 Hair isn't everything. 1.1579 0.04608 76 65 10 1
4673 When did you leave the bunch and start stalking ? 1.1579 0.04211 76 64 12 0
4674 It's time we discussed your emasculating florets. 1.1579 0.04975 76 66 8 2
4675 Woody, have you heard the term, “can’t see the forest for the trees?” 1.1579 0.04873 57 48 9 0
4676 The answer to your problem is quite simple, if you want people to stop hating you drink a cup of Ranch Dressing everyday. 1.1579 0.04975 76 66 8 2
4677 So you’re board with your life. 1.1579 0.04211 76 64 12 0
4678 It's not you darling, it's me. 1.1579 0.04211 76 64 12 0
4679 Autumn can be depressing for a lot of us. 1.1579 0.04211 76 64 12 0
4680 I am sorry but the truth is that nobody likes you. 1.1579 0.04975 76 66 8 2
4681 Explain to me why you think you're just vegetating? 1.1579 0.04211 76 64 12 0
4682 Son, it’s time that I told you that your mother was a couch potato. 1.1579 0.04608 76 65 10 1
4683 I cautioned you,Ms. Erenbach about following trends and algorithms. 1.1579 0.04211 76 64 12 0
4684 If I were you, I’d be streamed, too! 1.1579 0.04211 76 64 12 0
4685 It just feels like no one likes ME for ME, you know? 1.1579 0.04048 95 81 13 1
4686 I don't know why you feel rootless! 1.1579 0.04211 76 64 12 0
4687 I think she’s right you do have to grow up and set down roots. 1.1579 0.04608 76 65 10 1
4688 I can’t tell you it will be easy to get a good haircut. 1.1579 0.04211 76 64 12 0
4689 Everyone's been a sap for some girl. 1.1579 0.04608 76 65 10 1
4690 So you think being a vegan is why no one likes you? 1.1573 0.04491 89 77 10 2
4691 Forget the apples. Soon he'll want your branches. 1.1573 0.04491 89 77 10 2
4692 I'd say you're flowering into a much bitter person. 1.1573 0.04491 89 77 10 2
4693 Hey tree, believe me you are the last one of your species 1.1573 0.04197 89 76 12 1
4694 To grow out of this you need your feet in the ground! 1.1573 0.04491 89 77 10 2
4695 She actually said, "root and branch"? 1.1573 0.04197 89 76 12 1
4696 Have you considered any other explanations besides envy? 1.1573 0.04197 89 76 12 1
4697 So you thought “The Crown” was complete rubbish? 1.1571 0.05242 70 61 7 2
4698 And then that was it - I couldn't beleaf she left me. 1.1571 0.04381 70 59 11 0
4699 In my opinion your problems stem from the roots. 1.1571 0.04381 70 59 11 0
4700 If a tree lays on a couch, does it talk about it's problems? 1.1571 0.04381 70 59 11 0
4701 Oh, I know, but I think you might still taste the same if you just shave off your top. 1.1571 0.04831 70 60 9 1
4702 I'm going to suggest a hugger 1.1571 0.04831 70 60 9 1
4703 I understand, but what are your primary feelings, being steamed or boiled? 1.1571 0.04381 70 59 11 0
4704 I just feel like branching out. 1.1571 0.04381 70 59 11 0
4705 I'm sorry. But, having the same hairstyle is just not enough to base a relationship. 1.1571 0.04831 70 60 9 1
4706 Wow Dr. WONGS hair elixir really does work. 1.1571 0.04831 70 60 9 1
4707 What I hear you saying is that you’re not dealing well with the move and are really feeling uprooted. 1.1571 0.04831 70 60 9 1
4708 No,I said your inner sappling,not your inner sap. 1.1571 0.04831 70 60 9 1
4709 What's at the root of your bitterness? 1.1571 0.04831 70 60 9 1
4710 So it all started with Joyce Kilmer. 1.1571 0.04381 70 59 11 0
4711 In my professional opinion we should trade places. 1.1571 0.04831 70 60 9 1
4712 Maybe you just need to blow off some steam 1.1571 0.04381 70 59 11 0
4713 I'm so sorry but our time is up. 1.1571 0.04381 70 59 11 0
4714 Yes, I'm afraid our salad days are behind us. 1.1571 0.04381 70 59 11 0
4715 Trevor, if you keep barking at me, we’ll never get to the root of the problem. 1.1571 0.04831 70 60 9 1
4716 How long have you felt this feeling of being uprooted? 1.1571 0.04831 70 60 9 1
4717 Your problem is you haven 1.1571 0.05623 70 62 5 3
4718 I realize the implication, but their meatballs are tasty. 1.1566 0.04364 83 71 11 1
4719 I've been called that name too -- but you shouldn't let it annoy you because in your case it's appropriate. 1.1566 0.04364 83 71 11 1
4720 Sometimes when I’m sitting in this chair I like to pretend I’m a starship captain exploring the galaxy. Would you like to pretend with me Mr. Broccoli? 1.1566 0.04992 83 73 7 3
4721 It might be best not to enter the beauty contest, sis. 1.1566 0.04364 83 71 11 1
4722 It’s not my fault I always have a morning wood 1.1566 0.04689 83 72 9 2
4723 If you're feeling excluded, try branching out to other species - like rabbits. 1.1566 0.04364 83 71 11 1
4724 And tell me, is this "veggie monster" in the room? 1.1566 0.04364 83 71 11 1
4725 No, Alex Haley's bestselling book wasn't about Oak trees. 1.1566 0.04689 83 72 9 2
4726 Have you heard the term cultural appropriation? 1.1566 0.04014 83 70 13 0
4727 No, you don't have to be chocolate covered for people to like you. But if you want to wear chocolate for yourself, that's ok, too. 1.1566 0.04364 83 71 11 1
4728 Accept it you are just a fruit tree 1.1566 0.04364 83 71 11 1
4729 How long have you dream't about turning over a new leaf? 1.1562 0.05088 64 55 8 1
4730 I think it's time for you to start acting like a Potato, if you care so much about other's opinion." 1.1562 0.04274 96 83 11 2
4731 You just have to be patient. 1.1562 0.05554 64 56 6 2
4732 Forget about deodorant. Just stay out of the hot tub. 1.1562 0.04575 64 54 10 0
4733 No Mr. Jobe, I don't think not getting a woody is a physical problem. 1.1562 0.05554 64 56 6 2
4734 So you always feel like your stomach is in knots? 1.1562 0.04274 96 83 11 2
4735 I just want kids not to be afraid of me anymore. 1.1562 0.05088 64 55 8 1
4736 No, you do not have Asperger syndrome. But you may have something similar. 1.1562 0.05088 64 55 8 1
4737 You say that Broccolini, being more mild and sweet, has you feeling less respected and you ought to be steamed. 1.1558 0.04553 77 66 10 1
4738 THE SMELL OF URINE IS A PHENOMENON WHICH YOU CANNOT AVOID. 1.1558 0.04914 77 67 8 2
4739 I'd call it the cloud of unknowing 1.1558 0.04553 77 66 10 1
4740 It's not you, it's me, I don't feel the same since I stopped being a vegan! 1.1558 0.04161 77 65 12 0
4741 Your fear of Harvest seems well founded. Talk more about your sprouthood. 1.1558 0.04553 77 66 10 1
4742 You can't control the aphids--you only have control over yourself. 1.1558 0.04553 77 66 10 1
4743 So what if you feel no one likes you? You don't need external validation. 1.1558 0.04914 77 67 8 2
4744 One day your kids will appreciate you. 1.1558 0.04161 77 65 12 0
4745 I'm trying to keep it together 1.1558 0.04161 77 65 12 0
4746 Be proud of being green. Don’t listen to the cauliflower, they’re tasteless. 1.1558 0.04914 77 67 8 2
4747 Why do you wonder why they call you Carrot Top? 1.1558 0.04914 77 67 8 2
4748 Now, we know that's not true - lots of people like you. 1.1558 0.04553 77 66 10 1
4749 You can't stay a potted plant forever. It's time to take root and fulfill your destiny's as a fall foliage destination. 1.1558 0.04914 77 67 8 2
4750 While going green was indeed a resolution, this isn't exactly what I envisioned. 1.1558 0.04161 77 65 12 0
4751 Okay! You were kicked out of the Botanical Garden, think Christmas tree at Walmart! 1.1558 0.04914 77 67 8 2
4752 Oh, I miss staying rooted., 1.1558 0.04914 77 67 8 2
4753 Don't worry. Tree nuts is not, like, NUTS nuts. 1.1558 0.04161 77 65 12 0
4754 I understand the doom and gloom posturing but don't you think the black cloud metaphor is a bit overdone? 1.1558 0.04161 77 65 12 0
4755 What do you mean 'what kind of wood would I be if I were made of wood?" 1.1558 0.04553 77 66 10 1
4756 The Apple doesn’t fall far from the tree… 1.1558 0.05250 77 68 6 3
4757 It's just ignorance when they say you're cauliflower -- THEY'RE the ones who are green with envy! 1.1558 0.04553 77 66 10 1
4758 We’re leaving in 10 minutes! Have you packed your trunk? 1.1558 0.04161 77 65 12 0
4759 Hang in there; you'll feel brighter in the fall. 1.1558 0.04161 77 65 12 0
4760 You need to get your hair under cohnyto;. Try Vaseline. 1.1558 0.04161 77 65 12 0
4761 Couldn’t we go outside and veg out? 1.1558 0.04161 77 65 12 0
4762 First we need to get to the root of your problem,then we can branch out,wood you agree? 1.1558 0.04553 77 66 10 1
4763 Is it the dip? 1.1558 0.04914 77 67 8 2
4764 Yes, I agree, the feet are a problem. 1.1558 0.04553 77 66 10 1
4765 You say, you know little of your father, but your mother's roots come from a basketful of nutjobs...eh-hem, pun unintended. 1.1558 0.04553 77 66 10 1
4766 Look, every one tops out." 1.1558 0.04161 77 65 12 0
4767 No shame in that--I miss the hugs too. 1.1558 0.04914 77 67 8 2
4768 What happened? Did you lose your root-wad?” 1.1556 0.04444 90 78 10 2
4769 And when your parents forced you to eat your broccoli,how did it make you feel? 1.1556 0.04717 90 79 8 3
4770 I keep telling you I’m not a therapist. Now stop stalking me and just be-leaf in yourself! 1.1556 0.04154 90 77 12 1
4771 I realize you're in a vegetative state, but for me to help you, you're going to have to talk more. 1.1556 0.04154 90 77 12 1
4772 So tell me about this recurring nightmare you have about smelling smoke 1.1556 0.04717 90 79 8 3
4773 ... You gotta get back out there, plant your feet in the ground and show 'em that Groot's got nothin' on you. 1.1556 0.04154 90 77 12 1
4774 Why do you look so weird? I'm from France. 1.1556 0.04444 90 78 10 2
4775 What’s your problem Mr. “B”? "Since my family has been growing on this planet we’ve never been respected." 1.1556 0.04154 90 77 12 1
4776 So when you fell in the forest and no one was around to hear you, how did that make you feel? 1.1552 0.05390 58 50 7 1
4777 I assume that you are unvaccinated. 1.1549 0.04767 71 61 9 1
4778 Doctor: I see you have a new look Betty. Betty: My boyfriend cheated, and I went for a new hairstyle. Do you think it’s too much? 1.1549 0.05172 71 62 7 2
4779 The fault is not in yourself. It's in the underlings, rooting around for oil deposits. 1.1549 0.05899 71 64 3 4
4780 Have you ever thought about bell bottoms and maybe some love beads? 1.1549 0.04325 71 60 11 0
4781 Maybe, I should lie down now... 1.1549 0.04325 71 60 11 0
4782 ...and in the autumn? 1.1549 0.04325 71 60 11 0
4783 Is it sad that your my best client? 1.1549 0.04767 71 61 9 1
4784 What was the first memory of your shadow? 1.1549 0.05172 71 62 7 2
4785 We all must wrestle with our inevitable return to dirt. 1.1549 0.04325 71 60 11 0
4786 I hear people like to party with trees! 1.1549 0.04325 71 60 11 0
4787 So, you're angry that when you fell in the forest, no one heard you? 1.1549 0.04767 71 61 9 1
4788 I don't care! I love you, and I'll marry you whether you're broccoli or a tree. 1.1549 0.04767 71 61 9 1
4789 Well, what does cruciferous mean to you? 1.1549 0.04325 71 60 11 0
4790 So, you feel everyone is throwing shade on YOU? 1.1549 0.04325 71 60 11 0
4791 And you are treed off because? 1.1549 0.04767 71 61 9 1
4792 Yes, it takes a long time to say anything in Old Entish. But your insurance only pays for half an hour. 1.1549 0.04767 71 61 9 1
4793 And how does that make you feel? 1.1549 0.05548 71 63 5 3
4794 I prefer it if you broccosit. 1.1548 0.04637 84 73 9 2
4795 At least you don’t have roots here to keep you from moving on. 1.1548 0.04637 84 73 9 2
4796 I could have been a Louisville Slugger 1.1548 0.04637 84 73 9 2
4797 Have you ever thought about taking a dip in Good Seasons Zesty Italian Salad Dressing? 1.1548 0.04936 84 74 7 3
4798 When did you first start to believe you were a mushroom? 1.1548 0.04637 84 73 9 2
4799 Having spiders in your foliage is not really a psychiatric issue. You should see an arborist instead. 1.1548 0.04316 84 72 11 1
4800 How did you feel when your parents abandoned you at the salad bar? 1.1548 0.04936 84 74 7 3
4801 ‘Yes, New York can be a very hard place to put down roots.’ 1.1548 0.04316 84 72 11 1
4802 I suggest we skip the roots theme this week. Let's turn over a new leaf. 1.1538 0.05473 65 57 6 2
4803 When I count to three, you will be dormant. 1.1538 0.05186 78 69 6 3
4804 They said your new client is Ed Wood. Yeah, right. 1.1538 0.04399 91 79 10 2
4805 I think you’d feel less stressed about your roots if you’d branch out a bit. 1.1538 0.03803 91 77 14 0
4806 Don’t worry. You’ll find your cheddar” 1.1538 0.04498 78 67 10 1
4807 You think you've got it tough? I'm Polish! 1.1538 0.04923 91 81 6 4
4808 And I thought it was tough living with you when you were blue. 1.1538 0.04112 78 66 12 0
4809 If you don't put down roots you will always feel like a leaf in the wind. 1.1538 0.04112 78 66 12 0
4810 When did you first start feeling that you were being stalked? 1.1538 0.05015 65 56 8 1
4811 Honey, I had a suspicion that vegan and Afro might be a bad idea. But I would have never guessed this. 1.1538 0.04855 78 68 8 2
4812 Being broccoli doesn't mean that everyone hates you. Many of us really love you! Now get up and come with me to the kitchen, mom wants for you to join us for dinner. 1.1538 0.04498 78 67 10 1
4813 How can I expect them to like me when I don’t even like myself? 1.1538 0.04112 78 66 12 0
4814 Help me Doc. I don’t know if I’m a tree or broccoli. 1.1538 0.04112 78 66 12 0
4815 You're the first walking tree since Birnam Wood came to Dunsinane! 1.1538 0.04112 78 66 12 0
4816 So with your split personality, what are you now - broccolini or broccoli rabe? 1.1538 0.05015 65 56 8 1
4817 I'm prescribing an extended visit to Central Park for your urban rootlessness. 1.1538 0.05473 65 57 6 2
4818 I fell in the forest and no-one was around to hear it. 1.1538 0.04112 78 66 12 0
4819 Now I can see the root of your problem. 1.1538 0.04855 78 68 8 2
4820 Don’t think of yourself as a puny tree. Think of yourself as a magnificent head of broccoli! 1.1538 0.05473 65 57 6 2
4821 You must have seen climate change coming.. Now I have tree remedies ... 1.1538 0.04855 78 68 8 2
4822 All my troubles started with President George H. W. Bush. 1.1538 0.05186 78 69 6 3
4823 You do have a lot of leaves for a tree your age. 1.1538 0.05186 78 69 6 3
4824 no, your bark doesn’t make you look fat 1.1538 0.05015 65 56 8 1
4825 Your envy has gone to your head. 1.1538 0.04498 78 67 10 1
4826 You need to find our roots… 1.1538 0.04510 65 55 10 0
4827 Forget about the bullying. You should be proud of your low carbon footprint. 1.1538 0.05473 65 57 6 2
4828 Tell me why you believe that you are a spontaneous symbolic manifestation sent from my unconscious to inform me that I need to take a holiday. 1.1538 0.06372 52 46 4 2
4829 I'm about to start dinner. But first, would you like to join me in the sauna? 1.1538 0.05015 65 56 8 1
4830 And what would you say is the root of the problem? 1.1538 0.04498 78 67 10 1
4831 Bro, I don't care if he's your cousin. Shooting a cauliflower in the stalk will absolutely land you behind bars!" 1.1538 0.04046 104 90 12 2
4832 You need to get out of your head. 1.1529 0.03927 85 72 13 0
4833 Your problem stems from the fact that you were stalked as a young sprout. 1.1529 0.04269 85 73 11 1
4834 I love your foliage. Who's your arborist? 1.1529 0.04269 85 73 11 1
4835 Don't just lay there like a bump on a log. Say something! Anita Barlow, Edmond, OK 1.1529 0.04269 85 73 11 1
4836 So, people think you are good for them. It's nothing to get steamed about. Perhaps it would be helpful to think about how the other vegetables feel about the stir-fry. 1.1529 0.04269 85 73 11 1
4837 I want to go back to something you talked about before, this feeling of rejection. 1.1529 0.04269 85 73 11 1
4838 Your problems all go back to your roots/. 1.1529 0.04269 85 73 11 1
4839 Have you ever had a feeling of being rootless in everyday life? 1.1529 0.03927 85 72 13 0
4840 Now tell me why you feel like you are a spud. 1.1529 0.04269 85 73 11 1
4841 In your case, starting by exploring your roots may get us off on the wrong foot 1.1529 0.03927 85 72 13 0
4842 Would you please keep your roots off the couch? 1.1529 0.04269 85 73 11 1
4843 I think you're suffering from Seasonal Affective Disorder. 1.1528 0.05104 72 63 7 2
4844 Sorry, I had the munchies. You were saying?... 1.1528 0.04270 72 61 11 0
4845 You say your from cloud nine 1.1528 0.04706 72 62 9 1
4846 So your parents told you looking like a piece of broccoli was okay, right? 1.1528 0.04270 72 61 11 0
4847 So last session you said you were feeling rootless… 1.1528 0.04706 72 62 9 1
4848 Since our last session, is your organic lifestyle agreeing with you? 1.1528 0.05104 72 63 7 2
4849 Okay now, let's go back to your deep seeded fear of leaf blowers. 1.1528 0.04270 72 61 11 0
4850 Your pain is a BROCCO-LIE! It's the law of human nature that you are bittten!" 1.1528 0.04270 72 61 11 0
4851 Well, if for nothing else, we might want to consider the seasonal effect. Perhaps you should try going deciduous? 1.1528 0.04270 72 61 11 0
4852 Your bark is worse than your height. 1.1528 0.04706 72 62 9 1
4853 Finally you can see the roots of your problems. 1.1528 0.04270 72 61 11 0
4854 I know this is a tough season for you, losing so many of your cousins at the same time. 1.1528 0.04706 72 62 9 1
4855 It sounds like you are at a time in life when you'd like to put down some roots! 1.1525 0.05304 59 51 7 1
4856 It's my first year out of grad school so I guess they think of me as green. 1.1522 0.04354 92 80 10 2
4857 I just don't understand, why don't the children ever take our feelings into consideration? 1.1522 0.04070 92 79 12 1
4858 Dressing up like Mother Nature is not going to get you any girlfriends! 1.1519 0.04797 79 69 8 2
4859 Always being the last one left on the veggie plater isn’t something to be ashamed of. 1.1519 0.04445 79 68 10 1
4860 Your not a " couch potato" Your broccoli! 1.1519 0.05124 79 70 6 3
4861 I think you're being stalked. 1.1519 0.04064 79 67 12 0
4862 My guess; that a tree, broccoli or broccolini. 1.1519 0.04797 79 69 8 2
4863 So how long have you felt there was a cloud over your head? 1.1519 0.04445 79 68 10 1
4864 It doesn't matter what others think, you need to start by liking yourself. 1.1519 0.04797 79 69 8 2
4865 So what should we stalk about? 1.1519 0.04797 79 69 8 2
4866 When you fell in the forest, did you make a sound? 1.1519 0.04445 79 68 10 1
4867 Don’t worry…there’s no chopping allowed in here. 1.1519 0.04064 79 67 12 0
4868 Well, I can't deny it -- everybody does hate you. 1.1519 0.04445 79 68 10 1
4869 I don't know which of us should be on that couch, hatred is a terrible thing. 1.1519 0.04445 79 68 10 1
4870 How does the other vegetables making fun of your broccoli fro make you feel? 1.1519 0.05124 79 70 6 3
4871 If you are what you eat, does that mean I identify with being broccoli? 1.1519 0.04445 79 68 10 1
4872 You stir me up. 1.1519 0.04445 79 68 10 1
4873 'Well, alcoholism can be a very difficult disease to deal with on your own.' 'But Doctor, I'm not drunk. I'm steaming.' 1.1519 0.05124 79 70 6 3
4874 Of course I'm attracted to collards, but I've learned that there are over fifty shades of green. 1.1519 0.04064 79 67 12 0
4875 I believe we've got to the root of your problem. 1.1515 0.05395 66 58 6 2
4876 Let’s stalk about your feelings. 1.1515 0.04447 66 56 10 0
4877 Why do you think that nobody likes you? 1.1515 0.04944 66 57 8 1
4878 I get it. You're unhappy you've taken the word "woke" to the extreme. 1.1515 0.04944 66 57 8 1
4879 All the other trees make fun of me. They keep calling me an ash. 1.1515 0.05395 66 58 6 2
4880 So what exactly makes you feel that you are "cut off from your roots"? 1.1515 0.04447 66 56 10 0
4881 Yes, you’ll lose your leaves but it’s only temporary and while they’re gone you can reinvent yourself as a cedar. 1.1515 0.04152 99 86 11 2
4882 I'm finding it hard to branch out in the city. 1.1515 0.04944 66 57 8 1
4883 I would like to see you again in the fall when your color is better. 1.1515 0.04944 66 57 8 1
4884 You are still the Super Food! Kale is merely a pesky fad. Would a balloon in the Macy Parade make you feel better? 1.1512 0.04223 86 74 11 1
4885 Why do you think you can't put roots down? 1.1512 0.04535 86 75 9 2
4886 And it's important that people like your body too? 1.1512 0.04223 86 74 11 1
4887 So can you tell me how long you’ve had this wooden feeling inside you? 1.1512 0.04535 86 75 9 2
4888 And why do you think nobody likes you? 1.1512 0.04535 86 75 9 2
4889 ...but then people would just call me e-coli 1.1512 0.04535 86 75 9 2
4890 Could you not… shed on the couch? 1.1512 0.04223 86 74 11 1
4891 And how long do you think this delusion of you being broccoli been affecting you? 1.1509 0.06258 53 47 4 2
4892 They chop off my hair and discard my body! 1.1507 0.04645 73 63 9 1
4893 I didn't quite catch your name ... is it Blockly? 1.1507 0.04645 73 63 9 1
4894 You've blossomed under my care 1.1507 0.04216 73 62 11 0
4895 And then that cauliflower craze started, and everyone forgot about me 1.1507 0.04645 73 63 9 1
4896 Crude or crudite…. You have to decide which term describes you 1.1507 0.04645 73 63 9 1
4897 I believe you are arboring massive guilt. 1.1507 0.04645 73 63 9 1
4898 Maybe you just need a little brocco-me time? 1.1507 0.04216 73 62 11 0
4899 So…I guess you don't really care for Vegetarians; correct? 1.1507 0.04645 73 63 9 1
4900 When did she last peck you? 1.1507 0.04216 73 62 11 0
4901 I am so sorry Broccoli ….it’s not your fault …you’re just misunderstood 1.1507 0.04645 73 63 9 1
4902 Let’s go back to the moment you tripped and there was no one to hear you say “Ow”. 1.1507 0.04645 73 63 9 1
4903 Maybe you should have come in when you were a sappling 1.1507 0.04645 73 63 9 1
4904 Have you tried taking deep breaths? 1.1507 0.04645 73 63 9 1
4905 Let’s explore where these feelings of being crucified stem from 1.1507 0.04216 73 62 11 0
4906 I understand you'd rather the forest be seen. 1.1507 0.05038 73 64 7 2
4907 In my opinion, it’s all in your head. 1.1507 0.05403 73 65 5 3
4908 I don't think I'll ever find love. 1.1500 0.04740 80 70 8 2
4909 I understand. You're concerned you are turning into broccoli, the most hated of vegetables. 1.1500 0.05221 60 52 7 1
4910 Tell me more about these feelings of rootlessness. 1.1500 0.04649 60 51 9 0
4911 Cauliflower? Why do you think you are a cauliflower? 1.1500 0.05737 60 53 5 2
4912 The holidays can be a stressful time for everyone, not just conifers. 1.1500 0.04017 80 68 12 0
4913 Popularity has a lot to do with price, and yours has been creeping up lately. 1.1500 0.04394 80 69 10 1
4914 And does that feeling of being uprooted stem from anything in your childhood? 1.1500 0.04394 80 69 10 1
4915 The emotion that is causing your strife is flower envy 1.1500 0.04740 80 70 8 2
4916 You need to speak your truth and tell the huggers that you are silvosexual. 1.1500 0.04394 80 69 10 1
4917 I see you've gone vegan since we met last. 1.1500 0.04394 80 69 10 1
4918 What comes to mind when you feel this way? 1.1500 0.04017 80 68 12 0
4919 I think we're all feeling a little tapped these days. 1.1500 0.04394 80 69 10 1
4920 Back in jurassic times I thought I was a Lamarkian, but now, monkeys are proven right 1.1500 0.04740 80 70 8 2
4921 And you are here for… 1.1500 0.04649 60 51 9 0
4922 You're a hickory--it's normal to go nutty this time of year. 1.1500 0.04740 80 70 8 2
4923 I think you might be overdoing the vegetarian thing, Sara. 1.1500 0.05737 60 53 5 2
4924 Get over it, there is no way a tree will be allowed to enter a marathon. 1.1500 0.06210 60 54 3 3
4925 Yes,you could extend an her an olive branch but what about a ring? 1.1500 0.05221 60 52 7 1
4926 How do you feel now that you’re seeing less of the beard and flannel look? 1.1500 0.04394 80 69 10 1
4927 I can't answer that. You should be seeing a tree surgeon. And next time, wear some shoes. 1.1500 0.04740 80 70 8 2
4928 I think you've made great strides getting in touch with your inner wild cabbage. 1.1494 0.04486 87 76 9 2
4929 So the last thing you remember is your parents saying “Dont Leaf”….. 1.1494 0.04178 87 75 11 1
4930 Can I get you a pillow? 1.1494 0.04486 87 76 9 2
4931 Only you can decide if you want to be big broccoli or tiny tree at any given moment. 1.1494 0.04486 87 76 9 2
4932 Look, I know it can feel difficult for a few weeks in the Fall, but being an evergreen is still truly amazing. You're beautiful. 1.1494 0.03844 87 74 13 0
4933 All that stuff that went down in M. Night Shyamalan's "The Happening" — that's like, that was all fake, right? You guys can't, like, actually do that...right? 1.1494 0.04486 87 76 9 2
4934 Can you get me a hoagie? 1.1493 0.04875 67 58 8 1
4935 What if you told your father, "I don't want to be an asparagus. I want to be myself"? 1.1493 0.04386 67 57 10 0
4936 So you’re saying they only ever knock to see if the salad is dressing? 1.1493 0.04386 67 57 10 0
4937 Sometimes a tree is just a tree 1.1493 0.04875 67 58 8 1
4938 I'm sorry to hear that beef, chicken and shrimp don't get along with you. 1.1493 0.04386 67 57 10 0
4939 Do you think people really don't like you, or is it maybe that you just don't like yourself? 1.1493 0.04386 67 57 10 0
4940 Well the good news is that you don’t have paranoid personality disorder. On account of the bad news that everyone does, indeed, hate you. 1.1493 0.04386 67 57 10 0
4941 As your therapist, I know I shouldn't say this, but maybe your feelings of self-loathing are deserved. 1.1493 0.04386 67 57 10 0
4942 But do you ever wonder if they're good for you? 1.1493 0.04875 67 58 8 1
4943 Sorry, no one actually likes broccoli...... 1.1493 0.04875 67 58 8 1
4944 If you gain weight, your head won't look so big. 1.1493 0.05318 67 59 6 2
4945 So you're saying that without strong roots anywhere you feel adrift. 1.1489 0.03990 94 81 12 1
4946 Oh my, Mr. Elm. You say you have been confused with a giant Broccoli? 1.1489 0.03990 94 81 12 1
4947 I want you to understand that I affirm your humanity ... at least below the knees. 1.1489 0.03990 94 81 12 1
4948 So, tell me more about your phloem, then. 1.1486 0.04587 74 64 9 1
4949 I see you’re psychologically living under a canopy. 1.1486 0.04974 74 65 7 2
4950 "So...uhm...Mom...twenty years ago you were about to self-polinate when one night a camper named Bert pitched his tent too close to your...what? When?" 1.1486 0.04587 74 64 9 1
4951 Did you mom ever let you put down roots? 1.1486 0.04164 74 63 11 0
4952 Have you ever considered getting a little trim? An arborist will come to your home; save you the embarrassment. 1.1486 0.04587 74 64 9 1
4953 It,s actually Free Bird, not Tree Bird. 1.1486 0.04587 74 64 9 1
4954 I know you don't like autumn, but this is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. 1.1486 0.04587 74 64 9 1
4955 Let's talk about your childhood- you have a traumatic memory involving a buffet and mistaken identity? 1.1486 0.04587 74 64 9 1
4956 She called me a yucky vegetable- like I’m smelly or soft in the head. I’m tired of being judged based on my (s)boiled parents” 1.1486 0.05333 74 66 5 3
4957 You said you feel "steamed"... shall we explore that together? 1.1486 0.04587 74 64 9 1
4958 Sure, you’re depressed: you keep on throwing shade at yourself! 1.1486 0.04164 74 63 11 0
4959 I heard you say you are “Sooo board” 1.1486 0.04164 74 63 11 0
4960 Might I recommend Roots? 1.1486 0.04974 74 65 7 2
4961 Well, Pinocchio was a pine..." 1.1486 0.04974 74 65 7 2
4962 I know it's getting cold out there, but when we got you there was no instruction about your becoming an indoor tree. 1.1486 0.04587 74 64 9 1
4963 Do you think I took it too literally when my boss said I couldn't produce? 1.1486 0.04974 74 65 7 2
4964 So your fear is that you will become a book by Chris Christie and nobody will read you? 1.1486 0.05333 74 66 5 3
4965 Maybe it's time to just shake it off and let 'em go. 1.1486 0.04164 74 63 11 0
4966 I think we're getting to the root of the problem. 1.1486 0.04974 74 65 7 2
4967 How long have you had this fear of stalking? 1.1486 0.04587 74 64 9 1
4968 So what made you want to leave? 1.1486 0.04587 74 64 9 1
4969 You won’t feel better until you get to the roots of your problem 1.1486 0.04164 74 63 11 0
4970 Fairy godmothers are notorious sticklers for exact pronunciation, and the "u" in popular is never silent. 1.1486 0.04974 74 65 7 2
4971 I'm suggesting root and branch changes. 1.1486 0.04164 74 63 11 0
4972 So, you're continually feeling uprooted and in need of a hug? 1.1486 0.05333 74 66 5 3
4973 Why would you think you'd be popular in a parade? People just don't like broccoli 1.1481 0.04343 81 70 10 1
4974 I think you need to branch out more. 1.1481 0.04343 81 70 10 1
4975 Tell me about your feeling of rootlessness. 1.1481 0.04343 81 70 10 1
4976 What he said was 'I'm President, so no more broccoli! 1.1481 0.04343 81 70 10 1
4977 I hear you saying that you want to work on your obsession with couch potatoes. Let's get started. 1.1481 0.04343 81 70 10 1
4978 There are root odor sprays. 1.1481 0.04343 81 70 10 1
4979 Every year I have to wear these heavy leaves longer and longer 1.1481 0.04880 54 46 8 0
4980 I thought that I would never see, A patient with a coif like me. 1.1481 0.04343 81 70 10 1
4981 Tell me why you are always so steamed at our meetings. 1.1481 0.03972 81 69 12 0
4982 Stop worrying about wilting. You are perfect for our production of To Kill a Mocking Bird. 1.1481 0.03972 81 69 12 0
4983 Can you elaborate on why you feel out of place? 1.1477 0.04133 88 76 11 1
4984 Sooner or later we will get to the root of the issue. 1.1477 0.03804 88 75 13 0
4985 My parents had big heads too. 1.1477 0.04133 88 76 11 1
4986 So glad you’ve come to sex therapy. Tell me all your steamy secrets. 1.1477 0.04438 88 77 9 2
4987 I know everyone thinks you're good for them, but you need to start working on being good for YOU. 1.1477 0.04438 88 77 9 2
4988 Are you still there? I can't hear you. 1.1477 0.04723 88 78 7 3
4989 It's just a growth phase...a sign we're making progress. If you keep up our weekly sessions, by summer you'll bare fruit. 1.1477 0.03804 88 75 13 0
4990 When you audition for ‘Into The Woods,’ try not to shed! 1.1477 0.04133 88 76 11 1
4991 I'm having a moment lately, and frankly not sure I can handle the pressure. 1.1475 0.05647 61 54 5 2
4992 I am so sorry people think you are a stalker 1.1475 0.05141 61 53 7 1
4993 Do you recall as a child your parents withholding BROCCOLI? Or maybe they said you broke the BROCCOLI. ?? 1.1475 0.05647 61 54 5 2
4994 When they call you evrgreen...it does not have to mean they think you are "old". 1.1475 0.05647 61 54 5 2
4995 So you still insist that your bite is worse than your bark? 1.1475 0.05141 61 53 7 1
4996 And, how did that make you leef? 1.1471 0.05244 68 60 6 2
4997 Bad hair day? 1.1471 0.05244 68 60 6 2
4998 Your existential canopy stems from the fact that you've been uprooted. 1.1471 0.05244 68 60 6 2
4999 I don't mean 'shrub' in any negative way.' 1.1471 0.04327 68 58 10 0
5000 Yes, you have a head case. 1.1471 0.05244 68 60 6 2
5001 What makes you think that nobody likes you? 1.1471 0.04327 68 58 10 0
5002 Have you tried presenting with rows of corn? 1.1471 0.04807 68 59 8 1
5003 You feel inferior because of broccolini? 1.1471 0.04807 68 59 8 1
5004 Sorry, my hugging days are over. 1.1471 0.04807 68 59 8 1
5005 To get to the roots of the problem, I believe the ring-by-ring approach is best. 1.1471 0.04807 68 59 8 1
5006 I think the squirrels are right. You're nuts. 1.1471 0.05244 68 60 6 2
5007 I'm so sorry to hear about your parents. It certainly helps explain your aversion to plaid. 1.1471 0.04327 68 58 10 0
5008 So now the question is, will there be a sound if the tree picks itself back up again? 1.1467 0.04911 75 66 7 2
5009 I think we really need to get to the root of your problems. Why are you looking at me like that? 1.1467 0.04911 75 66 7 2
5010 You fear abandonment, but you're attached to leaves? 1.1467 0.04530 75 65 9 1
5011 Its perfectly normal to cause a little gas. All cruciferous vegetables do. 1.1467 0.04530 75 65 9 1
5012 What if we change that label, and call you brocco-truth instead? 1.1467 0.04113 75 64 11 0
5013 Can you deal with being rootless? 1.1467 0.04113 75 64 11 0
5014 I'm a tree hugger. Do I turn you on? 1.1467 0.04530 75 65 9 1
5015 So, when the lamp fired you from the job the chair helped you get, how did that make you feel? 1.1467 0.04530 75 65 9 1
5016 Doc, no matter what they say I gotta be me… I mean tree 1.1467 0.04113 75 64 11 0
5017 I am sure someone heard you fall! 1.1467 0.04530 75 65 9 1
5018 Let see if I got this strength, because now that you’ve shown your true colors, you’re worried about the fall out. Is that right? 1.1467 0.04911 75 66 7 2
5019 It's not healthy for you to turn green with envy. 1.1467 0.04530 75 65 9 1
5020 I know you think you're an oak, the world thinks you're a broccoli. 1.1467 0.04911 75 66 7 2
5021 I know you don’t think you’re ready, but I believe we’ve reached the termination phase. 1.1467 0.04530 75 65 9 1
5022 I feel uprooted." Can you say more about that 1.1467 0.04911 75 66 7 2
5023 I'm recommending a brain scan. Blink if you agree. 1.1467 0.04911 75 66 7 2
5024 How long have you had these feelings of inadequacy, Mr. Broccolini? 1.1463 0.04293 82 71 10 1
5025 I completely respect that you prefer "he" pronouns. May I suggest an immediate transplant in order to thwart possible existential crisis? 1.1463 0.04631 82 72 8 2
5026 I know you’re self conscious about the way you look, but we will find the roots of the problem. 1.1463 0.04631 82 72 8 2
5027 I don't think microdosing works for therapists. 1.1463 0.04631 82 72 8 2
5028 It has been proven that only God could love a tree. 1.1463 0.04631 82 72 8 2
5029 You can’t keep hiding behind a tree.You have to take responsibility, 1.1463 0.04293 82 71 10 1
5030 Let's talk about your deep-seated fear of rejection. 1.1463 0.04631 82 72 8 2
5031 So you regret throwing that much shade? 1.1463 0.04293 82 71 10 1
5032 I will do my best to help you with your urine phobia 1.1461 0.04938 89 80 5 4
5033 Do you think I should tell Willow about Holly? 1.1461 0.04090 89 77 11 1
5034 This week, I’d like you to focus on getting grounded. 1.1461 0.03765 89 76 13 0
5035 I know a lot of people hate you but a lot of people love you. You are good so don’t let the bastards get you down. 1.1458 0.03912 96 83 12 1
5036 I'm sorry, by Mom says she'll cut me off if I don't eat you. 1.1455 0.04798 55 47 8 0
5037 Where should I lay? 1.1452 0.05063 62 54 7 1
5038 Tell me more about your recurring dream of being a tree. 1.1452 0.05063 62 54 7 1
5039 Can you remember when you first felt this irrational fear of lumberjacks? 1.1452 0.04510 62 53 9 0
5040 Tell me again why you changed your name to BROCK LEE . Bob Murphy Naperville, IL 1.1452 0.05560 62 55 5 2
5041 If you want kids to like you, put on some cheese. 1.1449 0.04742 69 60 8 1
5042 So your saying if this doesn't get you on Saturday Night Live you dont what to do next... 1.1449 0.04742 69 60 8 1
5043 It's not you, it's me. That talking tree in 'The Wizard of Oz' terrified me as a kid. 1.1449 0.04742 69 60 8 1
5044 Your lack of religious faith isn’t a barrier to you being a truly great cruciform vegetable. 1.1449 0.04742 69 60 8 1
5045 So, you’re saying that all of your troubles flow from your relationship with everyone else’s mother. Fascinating. 1.1449 0.05569 69 62 4 3
5046 Big Hair doesn't mean that you won't lose it every Fall. 1.1449 0.04269 69 59 10 0
5047 Tell me a little more about how you felt when you first learned that the Jolly Green Giant is your biological father? 1.1449 0.04269 69 59 10 0
5048 When I said you can't see the forest for the trees, I wasn't throwing shade at you. 1.1449 0.05172 69 61 6 2
5049 Let's get this straight...first the mysterious hang-ups, and now you think you're being stalked? 1.1449 0.05172 69 61 6 2
5050 And after boiling it for a half hour she would make me eat every slimy bite before I could leave the table. 1.1449 0.05172 69 61 6 2
5051 Your main problem is you’re over your head. I have a simple solution. 1.1449 0.04269 69 59 10 0
5052 I don’t think anyone really likes me 1.1449 0.04742 69 60 8 1
5053 Jealousy is not a good colour on you. 1.1449 0.04269 69 59 10 0
5054 It's difficult to get to the root of this, seeing your current condition. 1.1449 0.05172 69 61 6 2
5055 What's wrong, Woody? 1.1447 0.04474 76 66 9 1
5056 On the bright side, at least you get to come back in the Spring, brand new! 1.1447 0.04474 76 66 9 1
5057 No, I don't think your bark is worse than your bite. 1.1447 0.04850 76 67 7 2
5058 I talk to the trees But they don’t listen to me … 1.1447 0.04474 76 66 9 1
5059 Your separation anxiety started with your first fall. 1.1447 0.04474 76 66 9 1
5060 To be honest, you are a bit wooden. 1.1447 0.04063 76 65 11 0
5061 Ok,so climate change's destroying your home and your children are uprooted,but some think you're lovelier than a poem,many want to hug you and only God can make a tree. Also,I really like your 'fro! Ok,time's up. That'll be 200 green one 1.1447 0.05199 76 68 5 3
5062 Are you going green or going Afro? 1.1447 0.04474 76 66 9 1
5063 Running hot-to-cold is not necessarialy menopause,Blanch. 1.1447 0.04474 76 66 9 1
5064 Would you say that a lot of your low self-esteem issues are due to so many people hating broccoli? 1.1447 0.04850 76 67 7 2
5065 So do you remember when you first became jealous of the green bean casserole? 1.1447 0.04474 76 66 9 1
5066 Perhaps an Afro cut will help. 1.1447 0.04850 76 67 7 2
5067 Not everyone is an apple tree 1.1447 0.04063 76 65 11 0
5068 If we are going to make progress you are going to need to branch out! 1.1447 0.04474 76 66 9 1
5069 A frog once said: "It ain't easy, being green." 1.1447 0.04474 76 66 9 1
5070 You’re grounded until you learn the difference between staying fresh and getting fresh. 1.1447 0.04063 76 65 11 0
5071 I think that behavioural therapy is really going to help you deal with your abandonment issues. 1.1446 0.04245 83 72 10 1
5072 How long have you been experiencing hardwood dysfunction? 1.1446 0.03884 83 71 12 0
5073 I hope that there are no birds up in your branches the may defecate on my couch! 1.1446 0.04578 83 73 8 2
5074 I’m sorry, but I need a coffee table. 1.1446 0.04245 83 72 10 1
5075 Don’t worry. Of course we need more trees in the city 1.1446 0.03884 83 71 12 0
5076 I hear rustles 1.1446 0.03884 83 71 12 0
5077 True. I'm a tree hugger, but it's gotta end there. 1.1446 0.04245 83 72 10 1
5078 I'll try to help with the anxiety, but remember, only you can prevent forest fires. 1.1446 0.04578 83 73 8 2
5079 Let's not beat around the bush... 1.1446 0.04245 83 72 10 1
5080 I only agreed to see you so I could tell my wife I’m getting my greens in. . .which probably explains why you’re in therapy. 1.1446 0.04245 83 72 10 1
5081 You definitely have a knotty problem. 1.1446 0.04245 83 72 10 1
5082 Are you concerned about the Green New Deal? 1.1444 0.04048 90 78 11 1
5083 As a psychologist I am not usually this direct with my patients, but I really don't think it you are imagining it, you really are a walking, talking, piece of broccoli. 1.1444 0.04048 90 78 11 1
5084 You’re getting ahead of yourself . 1.1444 0.03726 90 77 13 0
5085 So they don't hug you as much as they used to. But how do you FEEL about that? 1.1444 0.03726 90 77 13 0
5086 Sometimes a cedar is just a cedar. 1.1429 0.04575 91 81 7 3
5087 It's time we both put down roots. 1.1429 0.05135 77 69 5 3
5088 It’s time for you to put down roots. 1.1429 0.04213 70 60 10 0
5089 So, the autumn changed my style! 1.1429 0.04419 77 67 9 1
5090 I'm not sure those dogs are guilty of critical race theory, exactly ... 1.1429 0.04678 70 61 8 1
5091 Love your Afro 1.1429 0.04790 77 68 7 2
5092 After all these years,you shouldn't feel guilty about throwing those apples at Dorothy." 1.1429 0.04300 91 80 9 2
5093 You need to base your self esteem on you, not how many NYT recipes use broccolini these days 1.1429 0.05102 70 62 6 2
5094 I think its growing on you 1.1429 0.04987 63 55 7 1
5095 Maybe it's your hair. Do you defoliate in winter? 1.1429 0.04419 77 67 9 1
5096 All this time, I thought I was deciduous, but it turns out, I’m just going bald! 1.1429 0.04678 70 61 8 1
5097 Well yes, I am a headshrinker but... 1.1429 0.05476 63 56 5 2
5098 דו האָסט מורא פֿאַר זופּ? פֿאַרוואָס? 1.1429 0.05493 70 63 4 3
5099 What do you mean, you think you're turning into a tree? 1.1429 0.04678 70 61 8 1
5100 LIVING DECIDUOUSLY IS NOT AS EASY AS YOU MIGHT THINK 1.1429 0.04419 77 67 9 1
5101 You ever see The Sopranos? This is like from the Sopranos. 1.1429 0.05102 70 62 6 2
5102 What do you mean you “don’t get Frasier”? What the fuck does that mean? It’s a classic TV show. Did you even watch past season one? 1.1429 0.04678 70 61 8 1
5103 I use to be used to be healthy and confident but ever since they started using me in dog videos labeling me "little tree of doom" I don't know who I am anymore. 1.1429 0.05363 56 49 6 1
5104 You have no idea what it’s like standing up all day. 1.1429 0.04213 70 60 10 0
5105 But can't you see the forest for the trees? 1.1429 0.04014 77 66 11 0
5106 If you were a mammal, what kind of mammal would you be? 1.1429 0.04014 77 66 11 0
5107 Where It All Started 'Onion, Broccoli; So you want to be an onion: it's ok if you want to make people cry, people run the other way when you enter the room Mister President. As your Conscious Therapist, nobody sees the sweet Broccoli with in but me! 1.1429 0.04419 77 67 9 1
5108 At first they only cut my ego. 1.1429 0.04213 70 60 10 0
5109 Its quite obvious you are suffering from a Cruciferous Complex! 1.1429 0.04006 91 79 11 1
5110 Your feet seem to be the root of your problems 1.1429 0.04790 77 68 7 2
5111 You say you can't run, but have you ever thought of learning to jog? 1.1429 0.04419 77 67 9 1
5112 I’m stumped too. Sometimes I just really feel like someone or something is stalking me. 1.1429 0.04198 84 73 10 1
5113 So when Newman called you 'vile weed,' how did that make you feel? 1.1429 0.05102 70 62 6 2
5114 So, your main complaint is your mother was human and your father was a tree, and bi-species racism is rampant." 1.1429 0.04444 63 54 9 0
5115 I just don't feel fresh right now. 1.1429 0.04006 91 79 11 1
5116 How does it make you feel when someone denies climate change? 1.1429 0.04678 70 61 8 1
5117 So, you think you are growing more nuts every year? 1.1429 0.04790 77 68 7 2
5118 i don't know if most people would consider those redeeming. 1.1429 0.04527 84 74 8 2
5119 You don't need dressing to make yourself palatable for the people who love you. 1.1429 0.05135 77 69 5 3
5120 Sounds like a clear case of empty nest syndrome. Have you thought about converting to a B & B? 'Close to the Park and lots of light?' 1.1429 0.04213 70 60 10 0
5121 We need to dig deeper into your identity to find out if you are a tree or stalk of broccoli. 1.1429 0.04213 70 60 10 0
5122 Tree Power" is a myth! Theoni Moschetti, Boulder, CO 1.1429 0.04527 84 74 8 2
5123 What seems to be the root of the problem? 1.1429 0.04014 77 66 11 0
5124 You're still a good person, even if no one likes you. 1.1429 0.04198 84 73 10 1
5125 This climate change is killing you, so I think we should get on the next rocket ship out and start our family on Mars. What do you think? 1.1429 0.04678 70 61 8 1
5126 When did your fear of fireplaces begin? 1.1429 0.04678 70 61 8 1
5127 Day 69420: I'm getting better with you. 1.1429 0.04014 77 66 11 0
5128 The fact that you're here says a lot about your roots. 1.1429 0.04987 63 55 7 1
5129 I can never see the forest 1.1429 0.04678 70 61 8 1
5130 I'm sorry, but right now, I'm stumped. 1.1429 0.04014 77 66 11 0
5131 I've told you before, stay a way from the skateboard park. You'll not popular there. 1.1413 0.04256 92 81 9 2
5132 It might be time to put down some roots. 1.1413 0.03965 92 80 11 1
5133 The grounding exercises aren’t working? 1.1413 0.03965 92 80 11 1
5134 "Some people do love you. And, you are a good source of fiber." 1.1413 0.03965 92 80 11 1
5135 Blanch called you stalky and made you feel drained. Yes, I can see how that affected your headspace. 1.1412 0.04476 85 75 8 2
5136 Really. Your eldist son will inherit the crwon. 1.1412 0.04152 85 74 10 1
5137 They're not after you. It's the squirrels . . . . 1.1412 0.04152 85 74 10 1
5138 I just wish you had told me when I was younger that I was a hybrid. 1.1412 0.04476 85 75 8 2
5139 You hate the holidays, because your former owner was a tree surgeon. And you used to be a Douglas Fir. 1.1410 0.04732 78 69 7 2
5140 Why do I feel like I'm picked apart all the time? 1.1410 0.04732 78 69 7 2
5141 Never mind all the haters out there; the important thing is to learn to love YOURSELF! 1.1410 0.04366 78 68 9 1
5142 So what I hear you saying is that you took the metaphor, “mighty oaks from little acorns grow” too literally. 1.1410 0.03966 78 67 11 0
5143 Have you forgotten that I only took you in because you said you were a bonsai tree? 1.1410 0.04366 78 68 9 1
5144 If you want to succeed in dating, I’d advise you quit using the pickup line “I’ll grow on you.” 1.1410 0.04366 78 68 9 1
5145 Why do you look so green? 1.1410 0.04366 78 68 9 1
5146 Yes, I know you are upset about loosing your leaves, but it is the fall!! 1.1410 0.04366 78 68 9 1
5147 Have I been analyzing up the wrong tree? 1.1410 0.03966 78 67 11 0
5148 Having nightmares about being trimmed ? 1.1410 0.04366 78 68 9 1
5149 Lets pick up where we left off in the Spring. What is it about being deciduous that causes you so much pain? 1.1410 0.04732 78 69 7 2
5150 Dunno. Kind of thought it was my story to tell or not tell. 1.1410 0.04366 78 68 9 1
5151 It grows from from my head like this and yet they want to regulate it! 1.1410 0.04366 78 68 9 1
5152 I think it is time to go to the Beauty Parlor and get your hair cut. 1.1410 0.04366 78 68 9 1
5153 Tell me about your seed pod. 1.1410 0.04366 78 68 9 1
5154 What an escape. I'll never figure out how you got out of that pot. 1.1408 0.04158 71 61 10 0
5155 I'm not kicking you out exactly, just transferring you to a window box 1.1408 0.04158 71 61 10 0
5156 So the root of it is that Ash, who you met on Timber, leaves you after the treesome at the beech, you feel you're no longer poplar, and you can't deciduous between Forest and Therese. In a nutshell, I can cedar isn't much I can do for yew, Calyptus. 1.1408 0.04158 71 61 10 0
5157 Perhaps both you and Cauliflower should spend some time apart and try being with more socially accepted vegetables. 1.1408 0.04158 71 61 10 0
5158 Tell me about this dream of branching into other fields. 1.1408 0.04158 71 61 10 0
5159 At this time anything is better then having an 'elephant'l in the room 1.1408 0.04158 71 61 10 0
5160 No, Bob, the truth is, even if the children do call you a “tree,” you’re still a stalk of broccoli. 1.1408 0.04158 71 61 10 0
5161 Sure I've known you since you were a sprout, and I'm sorry, but I'm really no help when it comes to cauliflower. 1.1408 0.04158 71 61 10 0
5162 But you have to believe me! I'm not attracted to just every alder woman!! 1.1408 0.05033 71 63 6 2
5163 To break this cycle of destructive behavior, you're going to have to stop thinking like a tiny tree. 1.1408 0.04616 71 62 8 1
5164 So, Mr. Brocolli, what's the newest Bond movie going to be about? 1.1408 0.05033 71 63 6 2
5165 Why do you think you feel bored all the time? 1.1408 0.05033 71 63 6 2
5166 Where does it hurt? 1.1408 0.04158 71 61 10 0
5167 I think the root of your problem is your cruciferous. 1.1408 0.04158 71 61 10 0
5168 I understand but they are just kids...they don't mean it. 1.1408 0.04158 71 61 10 0
5169 Yes,even if no one noticed when you fell you could become a fine upstanding lamp table. 1.1408 0.05033 71 63 6 2
5170 So, does getting steamed make you feel healthier? 1.1408 0.04616 71 62 8 1
5171 I think I can cure your dog phobia but I' m not sure I'm in the correct branch of medicine 1.1406 0.05395 64 57 5 2
5172 Your husbands tells me you constantly describe him as "bush league." 1.1406 0.04380 64 55 9 0
5173 No offense, but as part of the doctor patient relationship, I must divulge that I’ve always hated broccoli. 1.1406 0.04380 64 55 9 0
5174 When did you start believing you could prevent cancer? 1.1406 0.04914 64 56 7 1
5175 You’re just too good for me. 1.1404 0.05274 57 50 6 1
5176 I sense your guilt for killing James Bond. 1.1404 0.05838 57 51 4 2
5177 I understand that you’ve been feeling pretty steamed. 1.1395 0.03758 86 74 12 0
5178 Donna, you are absolutely radishing, even after a long day homeschooling our little florets, constantly preparing oxygen, and sequestering atmospheric carbon.” “Tobias, I want a divorce. 1.1395 0.04106 86 75 10 1
5179 Tell me more about the pressure you're feeling to save the planet. 1.1395 0.04106 86 75 10 1
5180 You need to branch out to feel more grounded. 1.1395 0.03758 86 74 12 0
5181 You must first accept the idea that lumber for the house of a family of four is valuable for the family. 1.1395 0.04106 86 75 10 1
5182 Alright, I'm better now, let's switch back. 1.1395 0.04726 86 77 6 3
5183 It was just a hypothesis. No need to take umbrage. 1.1395 0.04106 86 75 10 1
5184 Honey, you want me to climb you like a tree? 1.1395 0.04427 86 76 8 2
5185 Don’t be concerned. I’m sure many people like you. 1.1392 0.04675 79 70 7 2
5186 What is your inner acorn feeling right now? 1.1392 0.04314 79 69 9 1
5187 And when the monsters don't eat you in your dreams, how does that make you feel? 1.1392 0.03920 79 68 11 0
5188 Let's go back to when you first started feeling yellow. 1.1392 0.04314 79 69 9 1
5189 How long have you felt like people can't see you for the trees? 1.1392 0.04675 79 70 7 2
5190 What makes you give them everything you have? 1.1392 0.03920 79 68 11 0
5191 Well Mr Jensen, feelings of inadequacy at work are actually common. Often they are the result of a difficult childhood, but in your case I believe it's because you're a tree. 1.1392 0.03920 79 68 11 0
5192 I just don’t know how I am going to get you out of the woods. 1.1392 0.03920 79 68 11 0
5193 It's okay feel crudité 1.1392 0.03920 79 68 11 0
5194 It seems like you’ve always struggled to stand out in the shadows of your parents. 1.1392 0.04314 79 69 9 1
5195 Let's talk about your family tree 1.1392 0.04314 79 69 9 1
5196 ...and it all started with the botched gender reassignment surgery? 1.1392 0.04314 79 69 9 1
5197 I think it's time for you to put down roots-- somewhere else. 1.1392 0.03920 79 68 11 0
5198 Let's begin by telling me what's on your mind. 1.1392 0.03920 79 68 11 0
5199 I thought you understood the term "branching out" was just a figure of speech." 1.1392 0.03920 79 68 11 0
5200 Your fear of travel is not irrational, all things considered. 1.1389 0.04104 72 62 10 0
5201 The current financial market consensus is that green stalks are highly favored. 1.1389 0.04556 72 63 8 1
5202 Choose another vegetable. Most people don’t like cauliflower. 1.1389 0.04104 72 62 10 0
5203 Face it, not everyone is going to love you if you have a fro. 1.1389 0.04556 72 63 8 1
5204 some people like you dude 1.1389 0.04104 72 62 10 0
5205 You're too shy. Time to branch out. 1.1389 0.04556 72 63 8 1
5206 I Don’t know why I’m coming to you. Humans are our problem! 1.1389 0.04967 72 64 6 2
5207 I can see the root of your problem 1.1389 0.04556 72 63 8 1
5208 Truthfully,I don't care much for broccoli either... 1.1389 0.04556 72 63 8 1
5209 What hair dresser did you go to? 1.1389 0.04104 72 62 10 0
5210 So, in this dream, are you the stalker or the stalkee? 1.1389 0.04104 72 62 10 0
5211 I don't mind the costume Cynthia, but I do have an issue with the squirrel shit in my shag-pile 1.1389 0.04967 72 64 6 2
5212 Glad you could come in person today. When we talked through Zoom, I thought you said you wanted to “kale” yourself and I was like “lol, okaaaayyyyyy?!?!” 1.1389 0.04967 72 64 6 2
5213 You need to connect to your roots... 1.1389 0.04104 72 62 10 0
5214 On the plus side, you can plant yourself anywhere in the park and watch people have sex 1.1389 0.04556 72 63 8 1
5215 Tell me more about this little boy who wouldn't respect your boundaries. 1.1389 0.04556 72 63 8 1
5216 Don't pay attention to what others say. Do YOU feel you can save the planet? 1.1389 0.04556 72 63 8 1
5217 Maybe I could help, if you told me what's on your mind. 1.1389 0.04967 72 64 6 2
5218 Did you ever think that you might be happier if you uprooted and moved out of the city? 1.1389 0.04967 72 64 6 2
5219 When did you first begin to feel you were -how can I put it? A bit nutty? 1.1386 0.03731 101 88 12 1
5220 Are you related to that guy who produced all those old 'James Bond' films? 1.1385 0.05750 65 59 3 3
5221 I'm sure the weather IS better in Israel... 1.1385 0.05315 65 58 5 2
5222 Your being in a vegetative state is not unexpected. 1.1385 0.04842 65 57 7 1
5223 It just sounds like garden variety 'peaness envy' to me. 1.1385 0.04842 65 57 7 1
5224 So you think you are Twiggy? 1.1385 0.05315 65 58 5 2
5225 You’re telling me, that when one of you falls, you only make a sound if someone is around to hear it? 1.1385 0.05315 65 58 5 2
5226 Today, let's try to straighten your head by getting in touch with your inner broccolini. 1.1385 0.04842 65 57 7 1
5227 Alright that about wraps up today's session. So would you mind um... paying in cash? 1.1379 0.04567 58 50 8 0
5228 Maybe a ‘Burst Fade’ would make you happier? 1.1379 0.04674 87 78 6 3
5229 You’ve got me stumped! 1.1379 0.05188 58 51 6 1
5230 Winter is a vulnerable time for you. 1.1379 0.03718 87 75 12 0
5231 So, dessert is still a trigger for you… 1.1379 0.04567 58 50 8 0
5232 It's only natural that dogs give you a leg up 1.1379 0.04379 87 77 8 2
5233 So your anxiety with the dog isn’t with its bite, it’s how it relates to your bark. 1.1375 0.04263 80 70 9 1
5234 I’m afraid you’re going to have to come to terms with you’re never going to be able to go back to your roots. 1.1375 0.04263 80 70 9 1
5235 Do you find satisfaction in your rootless existence? 1.1375 0.04263 80 70 9 1
5236 I understand you are feeling green. 1.1375 0.03875 80 69 11 0
5237 Okay. You have a choice of corn rows or pixie cut. 1.1375 0.03875 80 69 11 0
5238 Have you considered that maybe it's just in your florets? 1.1375 0.04620 80 71 7 2
5239 No, I'm not marrying broccoli! 1.1375 0.03875 80 69 11 0
5240 I don't think the city is the right place for you 1.1375 0.03875 80 69 11 0
5241 Don’t know where to begin. I need to put down some roots. 1.1375 0.03875 80 69 11 0
5242 Let's get you out of the weeds, shall we? 1.1375 0.04263 80 70 9 1
5243 No thanks, I just had a salad. 1.1375 0.04620 80 71 7 2
5244 So, how long have you thought you were a dog? 1.1370 0.04902 73 65 6 2
5245 I don't think it's helping you to be so focused on the Brussels Sprout's rankings. 1.1370 0.04052 73 63 10 0
5246 It's ok. Sometimes an eggplant is just an eggplant. 1.1370 0.04902 73 65 6 2
5247 Remember, "A Broccoli's a Broccoli no matter how big." 1.1370 0.04052 73 63 10 0
5248 You should read atlas shrugged. 1.1370 0.04497 73 64 8 1
5249 I know how much you like to give, but I'd advise against a one-way relationship. 1.1370 0.04052 73 63 10 0
5250 You're barking up the wrong...well, nevermind... 1.1370 0.04497 73 64 8 1
5251 I feel a dark cloud hanging over me! 1.1370 0.04497 73 64 8 1
5252 Dude, you swore you just needed a place to crash for 25 years. 1.1370 0.04497 73 64 8 1
5253 What? You're telling me you secretly like dogs! 1.1370 0.04497 73 64 8 1
5254 You might be suffering from seasonal affective disorder. 1.1370 0.04052 73 63 10 0
5255 Let’s explore this feeling of rootlessness. 1.1370 0.04052 73 63 10 0
5256 I say you're spinach, and I say to hell with you." 1.1370 0.05276 73 66 4 3
5257 To tie this room together you should get a vegi-table. 1.1370 0.04902 73 65 6 2
5258 Don’t worry, it’s normal that your leaves will change color and fall off. You will be OK. 1.1370 0.04052 73 63 10 0
5259 Perhaps you should consult Ancestry.com. 1.1370 0.04052 73 63 10 0
5260 It's definitely not psychological. Tests have determined freezer burn to be responsible for your ED 1.1370 0.04052 73 63 10 0
5261 Well, I also say you’re spinach. Can we work on dealing with that? 1.1370 0.04052 73 63 10 0
5262 To be honest, I'd like to date other stalks. 1.1370 0.04497 73 64 8 1
5263 It's OK, not everyone can be a couch potato. 1.1370 0.04497 73 64 8 1
5264 I think you may have supply chain issues. 1.1370 0.04497 73 64 8 1
5265 How did it make you feel when the cauliflower became the crust? 1.1370 0.04902 73 65 6 2
5266 "Next year you can try again for the role of the Sugar Plum Fairy". 1.1370 0.04052 73 63 10 0
5267 I know finding out your adopted can be tough at this age.. 1.1364 0.04773 66 58 7 1
5268 It has been said that rocks stolen from the Petrified Forest National Park actually do bring a person bad luck. 1.1364 0.04257 66 57 9 0
5269 No ..I am Not a couch potato that was your last patient .. I also suffer from variant Vegetation issues.. 1.1364 0.04257 66 57 9 0
5270 You're feeling blue?" "Not really, I think I'm green." 1.1364 0.04773 66 58 7 1
5271 You said this condition started after your booster shot? 1.1364 0.04257 66 57 9 0
5272 hi i'm dr cauliflower 1.1364 0.04257 66 57 9 0
5273 Welcome to your stalk therapy session. 1.1364 0.04257 66 57 9 0
5274 Your multiple personality disorder sometimes has me barking up the wrong tree. 1.1364 0.04773 66 58 7 1
5275 Tell me why you get so depressed when your leaves start falling off 1.1364 0.04773 66 58 7 1
5276 So, tell me more about your co-dominant branching. 1.1364 0.04019 88 77 10 1
5277 Stop calling it deforestation. We're just breaking up. 1.1364 0.04019 88 77 10 1
5278 I just don't have a rake. 1.1364 0.04773 66 58 7 1
5279 Just be you. No believes that is an Afro! 1.1364 0.04773 66 58 7 1
5280 Have you tried putting down some roots somewhere? 1.1364 0.04257 66 57 9 0
5281 Did you have the Dana Carvey dream again? 1.1364 0.04773 66 58 7 1
5282 And what was it about people thinking that it was a broccoli costume that upset you so much? 1.1364 0.04773 66 58 7 1
5283 I do understand that you always wanted red hair, but the green really does look very nice with your body type. 1.1364 0.04019 88 77 10 1
5284 No, you can't put down roots here, my place is too small. 1.1364 0.03679 88 76 12 0
5285 Why yes,I do specialize in fractured fractals. 1.1364 0.04773 66 58 7 1
5286 Do you think you’re barking up the wrong tree? 1.1364 0.05239 66 59 5 2
5287 I have 12 minutes this week for a Nature bath. 1.1364 0.04257 66 57 9 0
5288 Giving is good, but you can't keep ignoring your own needs. 1.1358 0.04214 81 71 9 1
5289 My daughter wants to marry a Duraflame! I mean, it can only last so long… 1.1358 0.04214 81 71 9 1
5290 What makes you think everyone hates you? 1.1358 0.04565 81 72 7 2
5291 Have you considered just letting go? 1.1358 0.03830 81 70 11 0
5292 So, tell me, how did the breakup with cheese sauce begin? 1.1358 0.04565 81 72 7 2
5293 I'm sure we can get to the root of your problems. 1.1358 0.04214 81 71 9 1
5294 I'm with your wife on this one: I wouldn't name your newborn Rob. 1.1358 0.04565 81 72 7 2
5295 yea, without roots... 1.1358 0.04565 81 72 7 2
5296 come on grow up 1.1358 0.03830 81 70 11 0
5297 Have you ever thought: Well I'm bound not to have much fun being a tree? Who WOULD enjoy being pissed on by all sorts of dogs and other animals? 1.1356 0.05104 59 52 6 1
5298 SSRI's should help with the anxiety and depression you're experiencing. I'm going to write you a prescription for Prozac. I also suggest that you stop listening to what those children say about you. 1.1356 0.04495 59 51 8 0
5299 Hang in there, this city can be hard on your hopes and dreams. 1.1356 0.04495 59 51 8 0
5300 When did you first hear the chattering of squirrels? 1.1356 0.05104 59 52 6 1
5301 Sir, this is a Wendys. 1.1356 0.04495 59 51 8 0
5302 You look a little pale. Are you geting enough roughage? 1.1354 0.03511 96 83 13 0
5303 You’re not literally meant to “bear a cross”. 1.1351 0.04001 74 64 10 0
5304 Let's dig down into the reasons why your floret is not flourishing." 1.1351 0.04440 74 65 8 1
5305 Fear of loss is not uncommon, but it's time to let go. 1.1351 0.04440 74 65 8 1
5306 When did you begin to believe that radishes, carrots, celery and cauliflower are more popular at Holiday parties? How does that make you feel? 1.1351 0.04440 74 65 8 1
5307 You have obviously sapped your energy. 1.1351 0.04001 74 64 10 0
5308 Tell me please,why do you identify with Ringo Starr? 1.1351 0.04001 74 64 10 0
5309 If a tree has problems in the forest, are they actual problems? 1.1351 0.04440 74 65 8 1
5310 Have you ever thought of mapping out your family in some sort of visual representation? 1.1351 0.04440 74 65 8 1
5311 This is interesting, dogs pee on billions of trees around the world, but you're the first I've heard of suffering PTSD. 1.1351 0.04001 74 64 10 0
5312 When did you decide the real you was too boring? 1.1351 0.04001 74 64 10 0
5313 It's a rare STD that slowly turns people into broccoli. You're right, I should have warned you. 1.1351 0.04839 74 66 6 2
5314 Where is your face mask? 1.1351 0.04440 74 65 8 1
5315 You aren't a tree, you are a broccoli 1.1351 0.04001 74 64 10 0
5316 Do you think it’s your diet? 1.1351 0.04001 74 64 10 0
5317 Try positive thinking. Imagine yourself covered in chocolate. 1.1351 0.04001 74 64 10 0
5318 When I asked you “if you were a tree, what kind you’d be” that you would take it literally. 1.1351 0.04440 74 65 8 1
5319 Have you done a living will yet? 1.1351 0.04001 74 64 10 0
5320 I've spoken with Dana Carvey. Again. He's promised never to sing that song again. 1.1351 0.04440 74 65 8 1
5321 Have you branched out to family and friends? 1.1351 0.04839 74 66 6 2
5322 Do you feel you've lost your roots? 1.1351 0.04001 74 64 10 0
5323 Sorry but conversion from fruit to nut is not an option. 1.1351 0.04839 74 66 6 2
5324 So critics called your acting wooden. Did you think about branching out? Oh, sorry; Freudian slip. 1.1351 0.04001 74 64 10 0
5325 So let me get this straight Mr. Tree.... you are looking to change your identity and transit over to Ms. Broccoli? 1.1348 0.03976 89 78 10 1
5326 I hear you. 1.1348 0.04285 89 79 8 2
5327 Christmas spirit is more than skin deep 1.1348 0.03641 89 77 12 0
5328 Wok's the matter? 1.1348 0.03976 89 78 10 1
5329 I just feel like I've been losing steam recently. 1.1348 0.04285 89 79 8 2
5330 What's your guess, window or painting? 1.1348 0.04285 89 79 8 2
5331 I think the problem is that your bark is worse than your bite. 1.1348 0.03641 89 77 12 0
5332 So you feel being organic would improve your self-esteem? 1.1346 0.05512 52 46 5 1
5333 I'm going to recommend a pause in the sunscreen in favor of some root canal work. 1.1343 0.04705 67 59 7 1
5334 How long have you and Ranch been separated? 1.1343 0.04197 67 58 9 0
5335 When did your need to wear trousers start? 1.1343 0.05164 67 60 5 2
5336 You expect me to 'make like a tree' and ... and ... 1.1343 0.05164 67 60 5 2
5337 I know Christmas is coming, but relax. You’re deciduous! 1.1343 0.04197 67 58 9 0
5338 I think what you need is some very good tree-tment. 1.1343 0.04705 67 59 7 1
5339 So your wife left you on the plate 1.1343 0.04705 67 59 7 1
5340 When I asked for a big woodie I expected something else. 1.1343 0.04705 67 59 7 1
5341 I feel as if I’m a bush trapped in the body of a tree. 1.1343 0.04705 67 59 7 1
5342 I understand you feel singular but everyone calls you plural" 1.1343 0.04705 67 59 7 1
5343 Yes I would imagine the couch was made using wood, but we're here to talk about your paranoia. 1.1343 0.04197 67 58 9 0
5344 Just leave it all on the couch 1.1343 0.04705 67 59 7 1
5345 I understand this has been hard for you. 1.1343 0.04197 67 58 9 0
5346 You look like you've seen a cauliflower. 1.1343 0.05164 67 60 5 2
5347 Do you ever wish you could have the sun shine on your face? 1.1341 0.04165 82 72 9 1
5348 We just need to get your head on straight. 1.1341 0.03787 82 71 11 0
5349 If you were a tree, what kind of tree would you be? 1.1341 0.04512 82 73 7 2
5350 I wasn't suggesting that all vegetables look alike. "Couch Broccoli" just doesn't have the same ring to it. 1.1341 0.04165 82 72 9 1
5351 Willow weep for me. 1.1341 0.04512 82 73 7 2
5352 I am sick of you stalking me. 1.1341 0.03787 82 71 11 0
5353 You're so indecisive! Are you going to be a small tree or a very large stalk of broccoli?" 1.1341 0.04512 82 73 7 2
5354 Let's start by addressing the axe handle inside of you. 1.1341 0.03787 82 71 11 0
5355 But I dream I'm a broccolini 1.1341 0.04165 82 72 9 1
5356 In her defense, mothers always say 'Eat your broccoli.' 1.1341 0.04512 82 73 7 2
5357 The environment is in need of some therapy now. How the turn tables 1.1341 0.04512 82 73 7 2
5358 Unconscious, you're a sapling. Conscious, you're a sap. 1.1340 0.03773 97 85 11 1
5359 Yes you're ugly, but many people still love you." 1.1333 0.03952 75 65 10 0
5360 Have you ever considered moving upstate? 1.1333 0.04384 75 66 8 1
5361 'It is normal to sprout at your age" 1.1333 0.04384 75 66 8 1
5362 Climate change. Urbanization. It’s bleak, sure. There's hope. Next week, same time? 1.1333 0.04777 75 67 6 2
5363 Yes. Moral fiber is key; but you're perseverating. 1.1333 0.05557 60 54 4 2
5364 Doc, why do I feel like I'm human? 1.1333 0.03952 75 65 10 0
5365 so you can't do anything with your hair? see a stylist. 1.1333 0.04384 75 66 8 1
5366 where did this alien tree come from on my couch in my living room 1.1333 0.05023 60 53 6 1
5367 Well,"platonic relationship" doesn't mean what you think it means... 1.1333 0.03935 90 79 10 1
5368 You’re a vegetable. There’s just no avoiding it. 1.1333 0.05023 60 53 6 1
5369 You see I had this idea... and it took root! 1.1333 0.04426 60 52 8 0
5370 Let me guess a new Chinese restaurant opened up? 1.1333 0.04384 75 66 8 1
5371 Have you tried adding more fiber? 1.1333 0.03935 90 79 10 1
5372 Dude you stink,how long since you were blanched? 1.1333 0.04384 75 66 8 1
5373 Even if hugging is gone forever, do you really believe that people feel differently about you...? 1.1333 0.04384 75 66 8 1
5374 Are you saying that "you see the forest, but you can't see the trees". 1.1333 0.04384 75 66 8 1
5375 Correct me if I'm wrong, but considering your roots, isn't dealing with predatory squirrels a normal part of acornhood? 1.1333 0.05023 60 53 6 1
5376 Most people don't like broccoli. 1.1333 0.04384 75 66 8 1
5377 This heavy headed feeling will lift when you accept being deciduous 1.1333 0.04384 75 66 8 1
5378 Well, we have a symbiotic relationship. You breathe in CO2 and breathe out O2. We breathe in O2 and breathe out CO2. 1.1333 0.03952 75 65 10 0
5379 And, how often do you dream a big ax is chasing you? 1.1333 0.04384 75 66 8 1
5380 And how does it make you feel when people only eat your florets and not your stalk? 1.1325 0.03744 83 72 11 0
5381 What makes you think you've discovered a new variant? 1.1325 0.04118 83 73 9 1
5382 Give yourself some credit; you pulled yourself up by your root straps to get here. 1.1325 0.04118 83 73 9 1
5383 I wouldn't exactly say, Asparagus, Martha. 1.1325 0.03744 83 72 11 0
5384 If you can't beat it, mutate with it. 1.1325 0.04118 83 73 9 1
5385 Ok, so you fell in the forest and nobody heard. Now, how do we most past this? 1.1325 0.04461 83 74 7 2
5386 Identity crisis…broccoli or broccolini ? 1.1325 0.03744 83 72 11 0
5387 You know what is REALLY restful? A hot steamy shower. 1.1325 0.04118 83 73 9 1
5388 Trees' New Trauma: Humans 1.1325 0.03744 83 72 11 0
5389 My secretary must have misunderstood. I don’t “treat” anything with a face. 1.1325 0.04118 83 73 9 1
5390 Perhaps if you moved to a ranch, you'd feel more accepted. 1.1324 0.04640 68 60 7 1
5391 Perhaps vegan is not for you? 1.1324 0.04640 68 60 7 1
5392 Hurry, take my seat. The Potato will be here any minute. 1.1324 0.04140 68 59 9 0
5393 So, Floret -- may I call you Flo? -- you say you were stalked? 1.1324 0.04140 68 59 9 0
5394 Yes, I can help you to get over the delusion that you're a tree. 1.1324 0.04640 68 60 7 1
5395 My genealogy goes back centuries, my family ties are firmly rooted, but "THIS PLANET IS KILLING ME"! 1.1324 0.04140 68 59 9 0
5396 Yes,,,, your look is original, but maybe it should be reconsidered since dogs are always trying to pee on your leg. 1.1324 0.04640 68 60 7 1
5397 Unfortunately,treeson is not a treatable condition. 1.1324 0.04640 68 60 7 1
5398 It appears you have unresolved umami issues. 1.1324 0.04140 68 59 9 0
5399 We have all felt alone and threatened in New York City at some point. 1.1324 0.04640 68 60 7 1
5400 You shouldn't take what others say about you so personally as its really halting your development. 1.1324 0.04140 68 59 9 0
5401 “You could try putting your arms down in social situations.” 1.1324 0.04140 68 59 9 0
5402 Perhaps you need to get out more. 1.1324 0.04140 68 59 9 0
5403 I don't mean to interrupt but have you looked in the mirror recently? 1.1324 0.04640 68 60 7 1
5404 That heavy burden will leave once you let go. 1.1319 0.03894 91 80 10 1
5405 What do you mean you're going nowhere? A scant few months ago you were just a stump with a dream! 1.1319 0.03894 91 80 10 1
5406 I’m not a doctor and this isn’t a doctor’s office and I don’t know why you thought you could get diagnosed at Wayfair but yes, that’s absolutely a tumor. 1.1319 0.04477 91 82 6 3
5407 I can assure you, absolutely nobody is out to get you. 1.1316 0.04329 76 67 8 1
5408 I won’t be able to see the rest of your family because of the forest. 1.1316 0.04329 76 67 8 1
5409 So you feel like Ranch doesn't need you anymore? 1.1316 0.04329 76 67 8 1
5410 You're pining over spilled sap 1.1316 0.04329 76 67 8 1
5411 Did you say ranch as in dressing ? 1.1316 0.04329 76 67 8 1
5412 You need to cut your substance dependence at the roots 1.1316 0.04329 76 67 8 1
5413 The mirroring effect in therapy. 1.1316 0.04329 76 67 8 1
5414 You must let your hair down once in while. 1.1316 0.04717 76 68 6 2
5415 And then they tried to dunk me in boiling water. 1.1316 0.04329 76 67 8 1
5416 No, I won’t “leaf” you alone 1.1316 0.04329 76 67 8 1
5417 Get that broccockli over here you sexy and fuckable vegetable. I'm gonig to eat you 1.1316 0.05076 76 69 4 3
5418 You feel they're out to get you because of deforestation... 1.1316 0.03903 76 66 10 0
5419 Get over it. So afros are out of style. It'll straighten out. 1.1316 0.04329 76 67 8 1
5420 Get vaccinated so you can feel safe outside. You need to get off the couch and out into the sun. 1.1316 0.04717 76 68 6 2
5421 Now you mention it, I have been feeling uprooted lately. 1.1316 0.04329 76 67 8 1
5422 You can stay indoors - but you'll still lose your leaves. 1.1311 0.04358 61 53 8 0
5423 Calm down! For once and for all, you are simply not Christmas tree material! 1.1311 0.04358 61 53 8 0
5424 And you are surprised that you're categorized as a stocker? 1.1311 0.04358 61 53 8 0
5425 It's hectic. 1.1311 0.04358 61 53 8 0
5426 I need to find my roots,then I will leave! 1.1310 0.03703 84 73 11 0
5427 I have to admit I'm "psyched" you're "leaving" now. 1.1310 0.03703 84 73 11 0
5428 It all started when they told me I was part of the cabbage family.” 1.1310 0.04072 84 74 9 1
5429 So what I'm hearing is that you want to start eating better, but you feel torn about engaging in cannibalism. 1.1310 0.04072 84 74 9 1
5430 When did you start identifying as a miniature tree? 1.1310 0.04072 84 74 9 1
5431 Working through this cauliflower (or is it broccoli) fixation must come first. 1.1310 0.04410 84 75 7 2
5432 So, I see, you want to about the environment. 1.1310 0.03703 84 73 11 0
5433 You don't like Dana Carvey!? 1.1304 0.04576 69 61 7 1
5434 I know you're worried about how many rings you have, but as you've overcome losing your apples every year, I think you have a lot of progress to celebrate. 1.1304 0.03854 92 81 10 1
5435 All family trees are lost without their roots. 1.1304 0.05020 69 62 5 2
5436 Watching Roots was more confronting than I expected. 1.1304 0.04576 69 61 7 1
5437 Yes, you have every right to fear a bark beetle. 1.1304 0.04576 69 61 7 1
5438 Sure, always being the ‚healthy choice‘ doesn’t exactly kick of a passionate relationship, but since the whole vegan movement, I feel you still got a lot going for you… 1.1304 0.04576 69 61 7 1
5439 Tell me more about this recurrent nightmare. Was it ranch or creamy italian dressing? 1.1304 0.04576 69 61 7 1
5440 At least somebody brings the bacon while you veg out all day. 1.1304 0.04576 69 61 7 1
5441 Sounds like you’re all bark and no bite 1.1304 0.04576 69 61 7 1
5442 I hear you saying you're feeling uprooted. 1.1304 0.04084 69 60 9 0
5443 You think it's tough being green?! 1.1304 0.04576 69 61 7 1
5444 So, tell me, Mr. var Italica do you think you are in a healthy relationship? 1.1304 0.04084 69 60 9 0
5445 To find the root causes, we’ll have to get into your canopy. 1.1304 0.04084 69 60 9 0
5446 So you think others keep their eyes on the forest and not you? 1.1299 0.04276 77 68 8 1
5447 You need to let go of your need to have everyone like you. 1.1299 0.03856 77 67 10 0
5448 Mr. Birch. Every Fall, deciduous tree leaves fall and then they grow back in the Spring. There is no reason to save your fallen leaves for next Spring. 1.1299 0.03856 77 67 10 0
5449 I knew you were capable of feelings, but wow! 1.1299 0.03856 77 67 10 0
5450 technically, you're not a weed..... 1.1299 0.04276 77 68 8 1
5451 The first step is to get dressed and put in a bowl. 1.1299 0.04276 77 68 8 1
5452 What am I doing wrong? I just want to be loved for my whole self. Is that too much to ask? 1.1299 0.03856 77 67 10 0
5453 You should be steamed about being rabbed 1.1299 0.03856 77 67 10 0
5454 It's ok to be bald. You don't need a broccoli transplant. 1.1294 0.03662 85 74 11 0
5455 You can't just plant your ass on my couch! 1.1294 0.03662 85 74 11 0
5456 I thought the patient was the one who got the couch.a 1.1294 0.04027 85 75 9 1
5457 I am so sorry no one hears you. 1.1294 0.04361 85 76 7 2
5458 I told Bok Choy, "Stay away from the pan!" , but he just went for it. 1.1294 0.04671 85 77 5 3
5459 As I've encouraged you to do before, leave well enough alone. 1.1294 0.04027 85 75 9 1
5460 So,how long have you “felt bushed”? 1.1294 0.03662 85 74 11 0
5461 So let’s delve a little deeper in to this recurring dream about branching out. 1.1290 0.04292 62 54 8 0
5462 You will be fine. The melting down process with resultant mushroom cloud makes it wonderful material for my research study. 1.1290 0.04292 62 54 8 0
5463 I’m not paying good carbon offset credits to be told I am rootless 1.1290 0.04292 62 54 8 0
5464 When I became a tree doctor this isn't what I expected.. 1.1290 0.04869 62 55 6 1
5465 Would you like to join a support group I am running in a forest? 1.1290 0.04869 62 55 6 1
5466 So, how does it feel to be a tree? 1.1290 0.04292 62 54 8 0
5467 I've heard George Bush still doesn't like me. 1.1290 0.04110 93 83 8 2
5468 I think you are better off leafing 1.1290 0.04292 62 54 8 0
5469 I thought we worked through your nudity issues. 1.1290 0.04869 62 55 6 1
5470 I think your problem is that you need to rediscover your roots. 1.1290 0.04292 62 54 8 0
5471 Jonathan, why do you say people are always picking on you? 1.1290 0.04292 62 54 8 0
5472 i wasn't called broccoli head for nothing! 1.1290 0.04869 62 55 6 1
5473 You shouldn't be bitter about not making the cut, Colin. 1.1290 0.04292 62 54 8 0
5474 I really would like you to reconsider the Vienna trip. 1.1290 0.03815 93 82 10 1
5475 So why do you feel you have no roots? 1.1290 0.04385 93 84 6 3
5476 Wake up, it's time for dinner! 1.1286 0.04030 70 61 9 0
5477 Things would be brighter if you could see the forest" 1.1286 0.04514 70 62 7 1
5478 Don't worry George Bush is dead - Biden is not trying to get you banned. 1.1286 0.04030 70 61 9 0
5479 Those are normal feelings. 1.1286 0.04952 70 63 5 2
5480 So just to summarize, Rob: you believe that your present condition is due to your father making puns during your childhood? 1.1286 0.04514 70 62 7 1
5481 So you're a carbon sink. That's a good thing. 1.1286 0.04514 70 62 7 1
5482 It's the haircut Doc, I can't take it! 1.1286 0.04514 70 62 7 1
5483 How long 1.1286 0.04514 70 62 7 1
5484 You’re not paranoid. Someone has definitely been stalking you. 1.1286 0.04030 70 61 9 0
5485 I know, I know . . . but I still miss having a dog. 1.1282 0.04224 78 69 8 1
5486 The treatment for SADness is not for me to shrink you. 1.1282 0.04224 78 69 8 1
5487 You feel uprooted? You're worried about climate change? Why am I the one paying here, you should be the one on the damn couch. 1.1282 0.04224 78 69 8 1
5488 But Dr, you told Me to really inhabit my vulnerability.. 1.1282 0.04224 78 69 8 1
5489 Not to worry. Couch broccoli is not a thing. 1.1282 0.04224 78 69 8 1
5490 Look. It hurts when keep calling you a little tree!. I'm a broccoli! 1.1282 0.04224 78 69 8 1
5491 Why don't you talk some about the grove".. 1.1282 0.04224 78 69 8 1
5492 You need help, root and branch 1.1282 0.04224 78 69 8 1
5493 Our time’s up. We’ll have to “leaf” it there. 1.1282 0.04224 78 69 8 1
5494 Does it surprise you to learn you have stalkers? 1.1282 0.03810 78 68 10 0
5495 I understand it's frustrating but I don't think people will switch to calling trees "big heads of broccoli" 1.1282 0.04602 78 70 6 2
5496 You have F-F-F-Florets syndrome 1.1282 0.04224 78 69 8 1
5497 I hear you say that you’re worried about your bite.” 1.1282 0.04224 78 69 8 1
5498 I talk to the trees. 1.1282 0.04224 78 69 8 1
5499 No, that's not what's meant by 'going green'. 1.1282 0.04602 78 70 6 2
5500 Oh for God's sake: think about your roots! 1.1282 0.03810 78 68 10 0
5501 Reaching out to me was a good first step. Now, let’s get to the root of the issue. 1.1282 0.04602 78 70 6 2
5502 Sometimes it hard to see the forest for the you. 1.1282 0.03810 78 68 10 0
5503 All right, let's say you do leave Brooklyn. You're lonely, I get it. But will you feel better about yourself in northern California? 1.1279 0.03623 86 75 11 0
5504 You have to stop telling yourself that nobody likes you. 1.1279 0.03982 86 76 9 1
5505 Just because your dad was steamed and coated with a rich, creamy cheese sauce means it will happen to you. . . 1.1279 0.03623 86 75 11 0
5506 A gender issue: "You have a gender issue? Broccoli or Maple Tree? Let's go back to the seed." 1.1279 0.03982 86 76 9 1
5507 This is no longer a laughing matter, you have got to stop your all broccoli diet. 1.1279 0.03982 86 76 9 1
5508 Are you a vegetarian? 1.1279 0.04619 86 78 5 3
5509 When did you first notice the phobia against axes? 1.1279 0.03982 86 76 9 1
5510 You consider yourself a strong, solitary broccoli. But deep down you just want a bro-to-ccoli your own. 1.1279 0.03623 86 75 11 0
5511 So... your saying ..... because your mother made you eat all your broccoli ....she is responsible for the way you are. 1.1279 0.03623 86 75 11 0
5512 You can’t just uproot every time she makes you mad - have you tried communicating your love languages? 1.1279 0.03623 86 75 11 0
5513 Brassica Head 1.1277 0.04068 94 84 8 2
5514 It can be difficult growing up without parents. 1.1277 0.04068 94 84 8 2
5515 Not everybody hates you. Some people ctually like yo 1.1277 0.03777 94 83 10 1
5516 Would you consider yourself a victim of veganism? 1.1270 0.04229 63 55 8 0
5517 What's your thoughts on fire pits? 1.1270 0.04796 63 56 6 1
5518 You've always had your head in the clouds and your feet on the couch. 1.1270 0.04229 63 55 8 0
5519 I asked for a side trim and this is what I get. 1.1270 0.04229 63 55 8 0
5520 Okay, it's not easy I think we have established that 1.1270 0.04796 63 56 6 1
5521 Technically, you are "cruciferous" not "crucified." 1.1270 0.04229 63 55 8 0
5522 So Broccoli Sprear, tell me more about your feelings that your sister, Brittany, abandoned you". 1.1270 0.04229 63 55 8 0
5523 So, Tell me how it feels when nobody will hug you... 1.1270 0.04229 63 55 8 0
5524 Have you heard the theory of the 'Adaptive Sapling?' 1.1270 0.04229 63 55 8 0
5525 You have a lot to offer people but I don’t like you either. 1.1270 0.04229 63 55 8 0
5526 No. I can't prescribe you an opioid for those headaches. 1.1270 0.05303 63 57 4 2
5527 Well,you looked like the tree of life to me. 1.1270 0.04796 63 56 6 1
5528 We're not going to leave any leaf unturned to ensure we discover the root of the problem! 1.1268 0.04454 71 63 7 1
5529 Hey, it's better than being fire wood. 1.1268 0.03977 71 62 9 0
5530 You always get this way in winter. 1.1268 0.04885 71 64 5 2
5531 Becoming a parent is never easy, but you need to be extra prepared for the possibility that your kids might hate you. 1.1268 0.03977 71 62 9 0
5532 I think that's over the top! 1.1268 0.04454 71 63 7 1
5533 Tell me about your... ehm... our mother 1.1268 0.04454 71 63 7 1
5534 Maybe your rage would ease if you reframe your view of humans as generating vast amounts of CO2, lovingly, for you and your children? 1.1268 0.04454 71 63 7 1
5535 Not sure who's the patient here. 1.1268 0.03977 71 62 9 0
5536 It's only your inner child that is avoiding you. 1.1268 0.03977 71 62 9 0
5537 The sign will say "Piss Off" 1.1268 0.04454 71 63 7 1
5538 I don't thing they mean to be hurtful when they call you a stalker. 1.1268 0.04885 71 64 5 2
5539 I'm sorry, Mr. Green; we,re out of time. Perhaps you should sleep in the fridge tonight... 1.1268 0.04454 71 63 7 1
5540 If your feeling, uh, misunderstood, maybe drop your middle name 'Knee'. 1.1268 0.04454 71 63 7 1
5541 So, tell me again what you remember about your roots. 1.1268 0.03977 71 62 9 0
5542 Don't you think I should be the one lying on the couch? 1.1268 0.03977 71 62 9 0
5543 The bush is back in style. 1.1268 0.04454 71 63 7 1
5544 It's hard to feel good about yourself when kids pick their own boogers over you. 1.1268 0.03977 71 62 9 0
5545 Yes, it sometimes can be difficult to see the forest through the trees. 1.1266 0.04174 79 70 8 1
5546 So tell me, how long have you had these feelings of a Broccoli inferiority complex? 1.1266 0.03765 79 69 10 0
5547 It's because you're boring, weird, and kind of shrubby. 1.1266 0.03765 79 69 10 0
5548 Looks like we both need anti-frizz hair care 1.1266 0.04174 79 70 8 1
5549 I would say that.. your analysis is taking a curious turn... 1.1266 0.04890 79 72 4 3
5550 Real friends build you up… 1.1266 0.03765 79 69 10 0
5551 Sounds like you feel stumped. 1.1266 0.03765 79 69 10 0
5552 I used to be a carrot and then my head exploded 1.1266 0.03765 79 69 10 0
5553 ... thyself. Physician heal ... 1.1266 0.03765 79 69 10 0
5554 When did you first realize you liked soys? 1.1264 0.04265 87 78 7 2
5555 You think you're uprooted? Try moving to Yonkers! 1.1264 0.03939 87 77 9 1
5556 So in your recurring nightmare, you're being boiled alive, I get that. But wouldn't steaming be better? 1.1264 0.04265 87 78 7 2
5557 Yes, open space is getting tight, I hear you. But on the other hand, wood-frame structures up to six stories are allowed under current building code. 1.1264 0.03939 87 77 9 1
5558 My friends all say I'm conkers. 1.1264 0.03939 87 77 9 1
5559 Oh Charlie, it's just a metaphor. Your forte is to grow, produce, not just decamp. 1.1264 0.03939 87 77 9 1
5560 But you are healthy. 1.1250 0.03721 80 70 10 0
5561 Have you thought that it might be you, the one that dislikes people? 1.1250 0.04725 64 57 6 1
5562 Look, it's one thing when an adult says it. Whatever, I've got thick skin. But when a KID says it?? Kids are brutally honest, doc. Maybe I AM gross... 1.1250 0.03393 96 84 12 0
5563 I think that I shall ever see a poem lovely as a tree: just try saying that ever and over. 1.1250 0.03925 72 63 9 0
5564 NOT EVERYBODY LIKES RANCH--YOU SHOULDN'T FEEL GUILTY ABOUT THAT! 1.1250 0.04167 64 56 8 0
5565 If you expect me to help you we really have to get to the root of the problem. 1.1250 0.04395 72 64 7 1
5566 I’ve been on a downward spiral ever since President George H. W. Bush said he hated me. 1.1250 0.03925 72 63 9 0
5567 Your hair is OK...it's the roots I'm having a problem with! 1.1250 0.04725 64 57 6 1
5568 So are your feet made of like roots or are they more like clogs you don’t take off? 1.1250 0.04124 80 71 8 1
5569 So sorry. I have to LEAVE now! 1.1250 0.03925 72 63 9 0
5570 You say your wife wants to leave? 1.1250 0.04725 64 57 6 1
5571 Were you this saucy with your last therapist? 1.1250 0.04124 80 71 8 1
5572 You do realize that you have to want to stop stalking people, don't you? 1.1250 0.04395 72 64 7 1
5573 I'm sorry to have to tell you this, but people just don't like you. 1.1250 0.04725 64 57 6 1
5574 Okay,now it's your turn to sit here and I'll lie down. 1.1250 0.03721 80 70 10 0
5575 It all started with this 'hug a tree' fad. 1.1250 0.04167 64 56 8 0
5576 Where has our National Park nightlife fun gone, Janet? You're becoming a couch tree. 1.1250 0.04725 64 57 6 1
5577 You need to go deeper,we can’t get to the root of your problems without digging in first 1.1250 0.03925 72 63 9 0
5578 Your kids are only 3 days old. I really wouldn’t worry about a failure to sprout at this point in time. 1.1250 0.04492 80 72 6 2
5579 What do you expect when you mutate so frequently? 1.1250 0.03702 96 85 10 1
5580 I can see your nuts. 1.1250 0.05210 72 66 3 3
5581 How long does this stuff last? 1.1250 0.03897 88 78 9 1
5582 Now, let's dig deeper into the root of your issues. 1.1250 0.04167 64 56 8 0
5583 green tree or broccoli there's no difference i can see trunk, stem, or vine you look just fine cash or check made out to me 1.1250 0.04167 64 56 8 0
5584 Say more about your time as a young sprout. 1.1250 0.04167 64 56 8 0
5585 So how long have you had this feel that everyone is trying to cut you off at the knees? 1.1250 0.04395 72 64 7 1
5586 They don’t like you because you have a big head 1.1250 0.04124 80 71 8 1
5587 You are the Giving Tree who Gave Up? 1.1250 0.04124 80 71 8 1
5588 Some Serious Couch Treatment 1.1250 0.04725 64 57 6 1
5589 It’s seasonal. The waitlist will be almost exclusively Fraser Fir in January. 1.1250 0.04167 64 56 8 0
5590 Your new hairdo looks great Tina, and I would love to. I know this happens to a lot of guys, but I just can’t get a woody right now. 1.1236 0.04173 89 80 7 2
5591 I want us to talk about the Mother Tree.... 1.1236 0.03508 89 78 11 0
5592 Don't feel down, go be outstanding in your field again. 1.1236 0.03508 89 78 11 0
5593 What's your first memory of feeling this way about oxidants? 1.1235 0.04076 81 72 8 1
5594 Relatively complicated? That may be, but know that every family has one. 1.1235 0.03678 81 71 10 0
5595 You should be proud to be one in a million. 1.1235 0.03678 81 71 10 0
5596 Living under a black cloud has certainly taken a toll on you. 1.1235 0.03678 81 71 10 0
5597 Please refrain from using the f-word in here. Say it - fire hydrant. 1.1235 0.04076 81 72 8 1
5598 I'll call you evergreen if you call me doctor. 1.1235 0.04076 81 72 8 1
5599 So you've become a stalke? 1.1235 0.04438 81 73 6 2
5600 Let’s talk through your envy, it’s not good for your mental health. 1.1235 0.04438 81 73 6 2
5601 I think you're misunderstanding what he meant when he asked you to leave. 1.1233 0.04338 73 65 7 1
5602 So you're saying that you don't have a "hidden" life? 1.1233 0.03875 73 64 9 0
5603 Look, we need to get to the root of the matter; to get you grounded again. 1.1233 0.03875 73 64 9 0
5604 you lost your roots 1.1233 0.04338 73 65 7 1
5605 It's not paranoia of everyone really does hate you. By the way, I hate you too. 1.1233 0.03875 73 64 9 0
5606 I like what you said about broccoli... 1.1233 0.03875 73 64 9 0
5607 When did you first notice the change? And the wish to be a conifer? 1.1233 0.03875 73 64 9 0
5608 Look, not to be coarse, but I think all you really need is a good root. 1.1233 0.04756 73 66 5 2
5609 Don’t be so thick skinned. Some people just don’t like broccoli. 1.1233 0.04338 73 65 7 1
5610 Again, let the record show that I am feeling encouraged by the fact that you’re eating vegetables again. 1.1233 0.03875 73 64 9 0
5611 Don't tell me you are vegetating! 1.1233 0.03875 73 64 9 0
5612 Tell me what's bugging you 1.1233 0.03875 73 64 9 0
5613 Oh vegan - you don’t say. 1.1233 0.03875 73 64 9 0
5614 How do you feel about the way human nature expresses that to you? 1.1233 0.03875 73 64 9 0
5615 The rapper" Cauliflower" respects your green, nutritious fro! 1.1233 0.04338 73 65 7 1
5616 You little stinker. What do you mean My feet are not sandalwood 1.1233 0.04338 73 65 7 1
5617 So,how long have you felt that deep inside you are a potato? 1.1233 0.04756 73 66 5 2
5618 When did you first realize you were going nuts? 1.1233 0.04338 73 65 7 1
5619 I wouldn't let vegan comments go to my head. 1.1233 0.05141 73 67 3 3
5620 Your body language leaves me to believe we can branch out into discovering the root of your issues. 1.1233 0.03875 73 64 9 0
5621 You might have some deep-rooted issues. 1.1233 0.03875 73 64 9 0
5622 It must be hard that everyone hates broccoli. 1.1231 0.04107 65 57 8 0
5623 We need to learn why you have the feeling that nobody likes you. What comes to mind from your childhood? 1.1231 0.04107 65 57 8 0
5624 Frankly I've some doubts about 'biology is not destiny.' 1.1231 0.04107 65 57 8 0
5625 So I hear you saying you could hang with the cauliflower but the fennel was the last straw? 1.1231 0.04107 65 57 8 0
5626 Please Don't Eat Me At The Office! 1.1231 0.04107 65 57 8 0
5627 Yes, when the then President refused to allow you on Air Force One years ago because of body odor, led to Post Trauma Syndrome. 1.1231 0.04655 65 58 6 1
5628 At least you haven’t started losing your hair.” Alison K. Burns, Massachusetts “I think we’ve finally got to the root of the problem.” Alison K. Burns, Massachusetts 1.1228 0.04386 57 50 7 0
5629 Let's talk a little more about your desire to be covered in cheese. 1.1228 0.04386 57 50 7 0
5630 MmmmHmmm...Tell me more about how you feel stalked. 1.1228 0.04386 57 50 7 0
5631 Just go back to your roots, Elmily, you need grounding. 1.1222 0.03472 90 79 11 0
5632 So when did you first notice the fear of being eaten one day by a child? 1.1220 0.04029 82 73 8 1
5633 You need to get rooted. 1.1220 0.04029 82 73 8 1
5634 Don't worry, with the supply chain crisis, your family won't be bought and eaten. That's an irrational fear. They'll merely rot on ships out at sea. 1.1220 0.03636 82 72 10 0
5635 Can we Vitamin B serious for a minute? 1.1220 0.03636 82 72 10 0
5636 go on, dig your feet in! 1.1220 0.04029 82 73 8 1
5637 Maybe all you need is a healthier diet. 1.1220 0.04029 82 73 8 1
5638 It's going to take a lot of sessions to get at the root of your issues 1.1220 0.03636 82 72 10 0
5639 So as a sapling you were grafted on to another tree and you want to find your parents. 1.1220 0.04387 82 74 6 2
5640 I’m sorry, the paperwork is triggering for me too. 1.1216 0.03825 74 65 9 0
5641 Yes, it does suck to be the butt of jokes based on your appearance. No matter the publication. 1.1216 0.04282 74 66 7 1
5642 Eventually, we all need to lay down some roots... 1.1216 0.03825 74 65 9 0
5643 It is right for you to be anxious in this era. And I agree with you in your impulse to move to a climate recommended by those in your family tree. 1.1216 0.03825 74 65 9 0
5644 So you're saying just once you wish someone would appreciate you for more than your hair? 1.1216 0.03825 74 65 9 0
5645 May I A-A-A-S-S-S-K about your family? 1.1216 0.03825 74 65 9 0
5646 So, since when do you feel this sense of uprootedness? 1.1216 0.03825 74 65 9 0
5647 Not everybody wants you in their Bloody Mary. 1.1216 0.03825 74 65 9 0
5648 I’’m the president and I don’t have to eat people of I don’t want to. 1.1216 0.04695 74 67 5 2
5649 I think Kale has replaced me ... who is next? 1.1216 0.04282 74 66 7 1
5650 Obviously it’s your parents fault. 1.1216 0.03825 74 65 9 0
5651 Yeah... Yeah... I'm sorry. I should have yelled "TIMBER." Can we just move on? 1.1216 0.03825 74 65 9 0
5652 I can assure you you're not paranoid - doctors are recommending eating more leafy greens. 1.1216 0.04282 74 66 7 1
5653 I have a recurring dream of my neighboring beech bending over to rub her limbs against my nuts. 1.1216 0.04282 74 66 7 1
5654 I can understand your not wanting to be tied down, but you can't just pick up and abandon your roots. 1.1216 0.04282 74 66 7 1
5655 Let’s try to locate your inner yum. 1.1216 0.03825 74 65 9 0
5656 What do you say we grab a steam? 1.1212 0.04588 66 59 6 1
5657 It's natural to feel jealous of cauliflower's new-found fame, but dwelling on it will only you bitter. 1.1212 0.04048 66 58 8 0
5658 I know you don't want to hear it, but I think you really need to leave. 1.1212 0.04588 66 59 6 1
5659 So what I’m hearing is you’ve been feeling pretty steamed… 1.1212 0.04048 66 58 8 0
5660 You seem pretty certain that you made a sound. But how do you know really? 1.1212 0.04588 66 59 6 1
5661 I know it’s quite Victorian for me to say but I believe you are suffering from eggplant envy. 1.1212 0.04048 66 58 8 0
5662 You can't think your way out... 1.1209 0.03775 91 81 9 1
5663 Check-out time is 11am, and you have to pick up your dead leafs. 1.1209 0.04086 91 82 7 2
5664 A little trim would solve all your problems. 1.1207 0.04315 58 51 7 0
5665 You're an absolute snack;) 1.1207 0.04315 58 51 7 0
5666 Face it. You're out of season. You've got to let go. 1.1207 0.04967 58 52 5 1
5667 Stalking you? Well, sure, you’re a stalk! 1.1207 0.04315 58 51 7 0
5668 When did you first notice these feelings that you're being stalked ? 1.1207 0.04967 58 52 5 1
5669 Out of the frying pan into the fire isn't bad if you don't like veggies. 1.1207 0.03275 116 103 12 1
5670 But I am not a tree can't they just stop saying that. 1.1207 0.04315 58 51 7 0
5671 You really suggest going paperless?" 1.1205 0.03595 83 73 10 0
5672 I’m not sure that trying to put down roots in the rainforest is such a great idea. 1.1205 0.03595 83 73 10 0
5673 I told you to never eat tree sprouts! 1.1205 0.03595 83 73 10 0
5674 On the last episode of Keeping Up With Climate Change 1.1205 0.03983 83 74 8 1
5675 I knew it was self hatred, Doctor, when I began inviting dogs to ''Come up and see me sometime'. 1.1205 0.03983 83 74 8 1
5676 Huh When did you say you got your last haircut? 1.1205 0.03983 83 74 8 1
5677 You look a little green in the face. 1.1200 0.03778 75 66 9 0
5678 Even if people don't hug you, it doesn't mean they don't love you. 1.1200 0.04634 75 68 5 2
5679 I am hearing you. 1.1200 0.03778 75 66 9 0
5680 Nickelodeon, MTV, TNT, VH1, TNN 1.1200 0.04634 75 68 5 2
5681 It’s a temporary psychosis found mostly in method actors. Meanwhile, should you fall down in some empty woods, let me know if you made a noise. 1.1200 0.04634 75 68 5 2
5682 So, feeling like you are expected to change the world is getting a little tiresome? 1.1200 0.04228 75 67 7 1
5683 No. Not true. Everyone loves green! 1.1200 0.03778 75 66 9 0
5684 Just one hug is not considered unprofessional! 1.1200 0.03778 75 66 9 0
5685 How much longer before Twiggy comes down? We're going to be late for he movie. 1.1200 0.04228 75 67 7 1
5686 I want to be a broccoli. 1.1200 0.03778 75 66 9 0
5687 I may be going out on a limb with this advice but perhaps you are missing the forest for the trees. 1.1200 0.04228 75 67 7 1
5688 We’ll, I LIKE your hairstyle. Perhaps you should just ignore those squirrels. 1.1200 0.03778 75 66 9 0
5689 I think what all the children that rejected you have in common is You 1.1200 0.03778 75 66 9 0
5690 You say you are a hybrid of both a fruit and a vegetable. This could explain why you are a melon-cauliflower. 1.1200 0.03778 75 66 9 0
5691 It’s perfectly normal for cruciferous vegetables to feel overlooked at holiday meals. 1.1194 0.04523 67 60 6 1
5692 Why do you think you're being stalked? 1.1194 0.03991 67 59 8 0
5693 My oak wilt has me down. 1.1194 0.03991 67 59 8 0
5694 Perhaps you are unable to see the forest through the tree. 1.1194 0.03991 67 59 8 0
5695 All the kids shunned me… 1.1194 0.03991 67 59 8 0
5696 I warned you in March not to get your hopes up. 1.1193 0.03380 109 97 11 1
5697 My back hurts, if you could excuse the sofa please? 1.1190 0.03555 84 74 10 0
5698 Hypnotherapy can bring you back to your acorn origins but its a risky climb. 1.1186 0.04246 59 52 7 0
5699 It's natural to feel unloved during the holidays. Maybe at the next party, you might try wearing a bit of cheese sauce? 1.1186 0.04246 59 52 7 0
5700 Oh please,I don't have the cabbage to buy psychologist sessions 1.1184 0.03731 76 67 9 0
5701 With big heads come big ideas. I say go for it! 1.1184 0.04175 76 68 7 1
5702 When did you first have the feeling of being stalked?" 1.1184 0.04175 76 68 7 1
5703 See it as an opportunity for growth. 1.1184 0.03731 76 67 9 0
5704 No, no, I don’t need notes. I have a little trick to remember each patient quite distinctly. 1.1184 0.04175 76 68 7 1
5705 It's only because of you that we know procreation between a broccoli stalk and a fudgsicle is even possible. 1.1184 0.04944 76 70 3 3
5706 When you say you feel out of place ... 1.1184 0.04175 76 68 7 1
5707 Well in this case,you ARE going nuts . 1.1184 0.04175 76 68 7 1
5708 Odd, but no matter where I sit, I keep getting splinters. 1.1184 0.04175 76 68 7 1
5709 I am so sorry. I didn't realize it was your great aunt I was sitting on. " 1.1184 0.04576 76 69 5 2
5710 Let’s try some casserole therapy. 1.1184 0.03731 76 67 9 0
5711 I know this might be a bit shady....But, can't you see the forest through the trees? 1.1183 0.03698 93 83 9 1
5712 Your problems are probably rootless. 1.1176 0.04927 68 62 4 2
5713 Tell me about your acorn. 1.1176 0.04238 85 77 6 2
5714 Tell me more about the paranoid delusion of being stalked.... 1.1176 0.03893 85 76 8 1
5715 I am so sorry you misunderstood my treatment plan. 1.1176 0.04459 68 61 6 1
5716 Perhaps you love the idea of Beef, not Beef itself. 1.1176 0.04459 68 61 6 1
5717 Do you think that Newton considered it a micro-aggression? 1.1176 0.03936 68 60 8 0
5718 So you’re upset because your hair gel doesn’t work properly? 1.1176 0.03936 68 60 8 0
5719 hmmm…. what you’re describing is totally normal, and i’m actually something of an expert on the subject. it’s what psychologists refer to as the masculine urge to scratch one’s balls and taint and then make a little face while sniffing one’s fingers. 1.1176 0.06037 51 47 2 2
5720 I would like to continue this conversation, but my appointment with Brussel Sprouts begins in a few minutes. 1.1176 0.03515 85 75 10 0
5721 Doc, my main problem is, that I don't have a main problem. I cannot see the forest for the trees. 1.1176 0.04459 68 61 6 1
5722 You seem to have difficulty putting down roots. 1.1176 0.03893 85 76 8 1
5723 I'm afraid these sessions are just not bearing any fruit. 1.1176 0.03936 68 60 8 0
5724 It's time to take this to the next level. I think you need a hug. 1.1169 0.04123 77 69 7 1
5725 Before we start, I just want you to know... I charge by the hour, not by the pound 1.1169 0.04123 77 69 7 1
5726 Tell me about your uncle's ranch. 1.1169 0.03685 77 68 9 0
5727 You can blame me for insisting you get the booster, but I still don’t see how you had no side effects from the first two shots. 1.1169 0.03685 77 68 9 0
5728 So... you've been unable to breathe as covid masks meant less C02 — let's try some deep breathing now 1.1169 0.03685 77 68 9 0
5729 Let's talk some more about your feelings of rootlessness. 1.1169 0.03685 77 68 9 0
5730 Let's try rewatching Veggie Tales before next session and see if that gets you in touch with your inner child. 1.1169 0.04123 77 69 7 1
5731 Sorry to leaf you, Treena, for Knotty Pine 1.1169 0.03685 77 68 9 0
5732 My acorns treat me like a piece of wood. 1.1169 0.04123 77 69 7 1
5733 'Shouldn't you be in the chair?' 1.1169 0.04519 77 70 5 2
5734 Your spear dream is a symbol for cutting, not a good thing to do by the way. 1.1169 0.04519 77 70 5 2
5735 Childhood? I told you, I came from a cutting… 1.1169 0.03685 77 68 9 0
5736 Do you mind if I lay a towel down? Last week it was a trick getting the sap off the fabric. 1.1169 0.04123 77 69 7 1
5737 Don't move when my interviewer comes in. 1.1169 0.04123 77 69 7 1
5738 Well, veganism isn't for everyone. 1.1169 0.04123 77 69 7 1
5739 Yes, I may detest broccoli in my personal life, but that’s something I can keep out of our therapeutic relationship. 1.1167 0.04179 60 53 7 0
5740 It sounds to me like there’s some childhood trauma you’re still trying to broc out.. 1.1167 0.04179 60 53 7 0
5741 You mentioned Big Oil and Big Tobacco. Why don't you think Big Broccoli is on your side? 1.1167 0.04179 60 53 7 0
5742 You need to branch out more. 1.1167 0.04808 60 54 5 1
5743 Professor Freud, what depresses me is living in the shadows all the time. 1.1167 0.04179 60 53 7 0
5744 I thought I'd feel better if we switched seats, but I definitely prefer lying on the couch, Dr. Broccoli. 1.1167 0.05363 60 55 3 2
5745 I forgot to bring her florets and she just can't stop rabe-ing it in. 1.1163 0.03850 86 77 8 1
5746 hey doctor today i helped newton 1.1163 0.03477 86 76 10 0
5747 I’m afraid you had been victim of greenwashing. Carlos Maranhāo São Paulo, Brazil 1.1159 0.04397 69 62 6 1
5748 I'm trying to turn over a new leaf, so don't bark at me! 1.1159 0.03882 69 61 8 0
5749 Before we start––where are the tweezers? 1.1159 0.04858 69 63 4 2
5750 You seem to be suffering from peanut envy. 1.1159 0.04397 69 62 6 1
5751 you're too wooden. 1.1159 0.04397 69 62 6 1
5752 Due to the fact that you are a carrot and that is your top, you can't really be offended when someone calls you carrot top. 1.1159 0.03882 69 61 8 0
5753 Doesn't it count that I love the song, "Broccoli" ? 1.1159 0.04397 69 62 6 1
5754 I think you have a bad case of sour grapes 1.1159 0.03882 69 61 8 0
5755 I also am traumatized by my mother leaving. 1.1158 0.03921 95 86 7 2
5756 I must say, Linden, that I'm stumped by your lingering depression. 1.1154 0.03641 78 69 9 0
5757 This motherfucker… 1.1154 0.04073 78 70 7 1
5758 So, how long have you had this fear of losing your leaves? 1.1154 0.03641 78 69 9 0
5759 I'm proud of you. I know how hard it must have been just for you to come into my office in the first place... 1.1154 0.04463 78 71 5 2
5760 We can talk about what it’s like being a person of color in a white man’s world until we’re blue in the face, you know 1.1154 0.03641 78 69 9 0
5761 You would feel better with a trim. 1.1154 0.03641 78 69 9 0
5762 Try to understand when a dog pees on you it's nothing personal. 1.1154 0.04463 78 71 5 2
5763 Sometimes I think the only thing that keeps us together is watching, "Roots." 1.1154 0.03641 78 69 9 0
5764 ... so she would say to me 'MICHAEL, EAT YOUR BROCCOLI', and poof, my bladder would let go. Just like that! And ever since, I can't even stomach the thought of hiking in the forest, never mind eating vegetables! 1.1154 0.04073 78 70 7 1
5765 Your head is sooo big! 1.1154 0.03641 78 69 9 0
5766 I think you have let this Vegan thing go a bit too far. 1.1154 0.04073 78 70 7 1
5767 you are just having a bad hair day 1.1154 0.04073 78 70 7 1
5768 You have to take solace that we have several months to get ready before the Easter Bunny even tries to come to town. 1.1154 0.03641 78 69 9 0
5769 And what do you think he meant by , Stop stalking me’? 1.1154 0.04073 78 70 7 1
5770 It looks like you've been treed. 1.1149 0.04144 87 79 6 2
5771 Please go on, your not arbor,not at all. 1.1149 0.03808 87 78 8 1
5772 Well, being a growth ON rather that IN the head, I wouldn't refer to it as brain, but it surely give you reasons for pride. 1.1149 0.03808 87 78 8 1
5773 I know you have a lot of stress in your life with climate change and all, but we humans have to deal with things too. Like just yesterday I was shopping for a new set of dishes and there was a really long line and then my coupon expired... 1.1149 0.04144 87 79 6 2
5774 Please get up from the couch and deal with it. 1.1149 0.03808 87 78 8 1
5775 We need to get to the root of the problem. 1.1149 0.03808 87 78 8 1
5776 We could explore a possible link between your fear of commitment and your growing feet instead of roots. 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
5777 Yes, shave! 1.1148 0.04115 61 54 7 0
5778 Ok, so you’re allergic to the new spray! 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
5779 You know, there's a chance no on would like you even if you were broccolini. 1.1148 0.04115 61 54 7 0
5780 I'm going to go out on a limb here with your diagnosis! 1.1148 0.04115 61 54 7 0
5781 It must be tough to have cauliflower beat you for vegetable of the year. 1.1148 0.04115 61 54 7 0
5782 I had a dream ! 1.1146 0.03588 96 86 9 1
5783 You seem to struggle with putting down roots, as if your adrift 1.1146 0.03588 96 86 9 1
5784 You've put yourself in this box in which you can only be steamed, and therefore will never be delicious. But grilled, roasted, even diced finely into pasta, you are as tasty as any other vegetable. 1.1143 0.03830 70 62 8 0
5785 You’ve got to let the leaves go and let them come back to you. 1.1143 0.04337 70 63 6 1
5786 So… survivor’s guilt, huh? 1.1143 0.03830 70 62 8 0
5787 Why do you feel that you never developed any roots with your family? 1.1143 0.04791 70 64 4 2
5788 I know. It seems that Cauliflower is everywhere. 1.1143 0.04337 70 63 6 1
5789 No one else listens to me. 1.1143 0.04337 70 63 6 1
5790 I’m not your therapist. Im not even in this room. None of this is real. You just couldn’t handle the trauma of losing that cribbage match in ‘04 and you’ve been pretending to be broccoli for the last 17 years. Your wife left you. She took the kids. S 1.1143 0.04791 70 64 4 2
5791 Everyone is different. It is perfectly normal for you not to experience simultaneous leaf drop with other members of your species. 1.1143 0.03830 70 62 8 0
5792 I know it's natural but you've got to quit stalking people 1.1143 0.04337 70 63 6 1
5793 This wasn't what I had in mind when I decided to be a shrink. 1.1143 0.04337 70 63 6 1
5794 I'm going out on a limb here, but I don't think she the root of your problems. 1.1143 0.04791 70 64 4 2
5795 Why does it bother you when they call you "broccoli rabe"? 1.1143 0.03830 70 62 8 0
5796 I think you have become obsessed with green, leafy vegetables. 1.1143 0.04337 70 63 6 1
5797 It is highly possible that the trauma you experienced at harvest time sprouted you some runner legs. You can thank Darwin.. and yourself for having the impetus. 1.1143 0.04337 70 63 6 1
5798 Since branching out didn't work, let's try getting in touch with your roots. 1.1143 0.04337 70 63 6 1
5799 Identity crisis? Ahh, flora or fauna, well, what do you feel like? 1.1139 0.03597 79 70 9 0
5800 I keep thinking I'm nuts... 1.1139 0.03597 79 70 9 0
5801 I know I am the one receiving the therapy, but what does it feel like to sleep on your grandpa's remains? 1.1139 0.03597 79 70 9 0
5802 It will take years to uncover the deep unconscious conflicts that underlie your fear of axes and chainsaws. 1.1139 0.03597 79 70 9 0
5803 Let's try this... If you could be any animal, what would you choose? 1.1139 0.04023 79 71 7 1
5804 ” I see ecology has really gotten into your head. 1.1139 0.03597 79 70 9 0
5805 It's just...everybody expects me to be the Giving Tree but I can only give but so much. 1.1139 0.04023 79 71 7 1
5806 Excuse me for asking, but in this recurring nightmare about the stir-fry, are you by any chance being sautéd to a nice al dente? I’m a bit peckish. 1.1139 0.04408 79 72 5 2
5807 Our time is up. Time for you to make like a tree. 1.1136 0.03403 88 78 10 0
5808 How long do you think you've had this bad case of crab apples. 1.1136 0.03767 88 79 8 1
5809 Losing your hair is just part of Fall for a perennial like you. 1.1136 0.03403 88 78 10 0
5810 Oedipus complex: we are barking up the wrong tree!” 1.1134 0.03553 97 87 9 1
5811 I think the root of your detachment issues can be traced back to your childhood. 1.1129 0.04659 62 56 5 1
5812 When she ate dessert without cleaning the plate,how did that make you feel? 1.1129 0.04659 62 56 5 1
5813 So, how long have you hated broccoli? 1.1129 0.04052 62 55 7 0
5814 Try to have acceptance that nobody wants to eat you. 1.1127 0.03779 71 63 8 0
5815 Well… You’re taller than broccoli! 1.1127 0.04279 71 64 6 1
5816 This variant has some really strange side affects. 1.1127 0.03779 71 63 8 0
5817 Look, I don't know if I can help. It's a heck of a leap to go from climbing you and using you for campfires, to relating to your problems with swings attached to them and cats being rescued from your branches! 1.1127 0.03779 71 63 8 0
5818 There are just so many family branches that I am no longer in contact with... and I need to get to the root of the problem. 1.1127 0.04279 71 64 6 1
5819 I am going to give you the same advice about feelings of rejection I gave Mr. Cauliflower. 1.1127 0.04279 71 64 6 1
5820 Teressa may I presume 1.1127 0.03779 71 63 8 0
5821 I hate to break this to you, but you really are just a tree with human attributes. 1.1127 0.04279 71 64 6 1
5822 But you are a head of broccoli. 1.1127 0.04279 71 64 6 1
5823 I’m sorry….just because people are following you around does not mean they are stalkers. 1.1127 0.03779 71 63 8 0
5824 It’s bugging me that I am not a pizza crust yet, doc. 1.1127 0.04279 71 64 6 1
5825 No, CBT doesn't stand for Cauliflower and Broccoli Therapy. But tell me more about your mother. 1.1127 0.03779 71 63 8 0
5826 Look, I know we said you could crash on our couch for awhile after we burned down your home, but it’s been two weeks. Don’t you think it’s time you got over it? 1.1127 0.03779 71 63 8 0
5827 Did I ever mention that I am deciduous? 1.1125 0.03555 80 71 9 0
5828 You may be a head case, but you're a green head case. 1.1125 0.03555 80 71 9 0
5829 I know they're cute, but you're letting them all live rent free in your head. 1.1125 0.03975 80 72 7 1
5830 But doctor, the soft buzzing sound leads me to think that it isn’t a dark cloud over my head, but gnats. 1.1125 0.03555 80 71 9 0
5831 It's probably time to take a break. 1.1125 0.03975 80 72 7 1
5832 You can be the 'Giving Tree' or the 'Living Tree' not both. 1.1124 0.03367 89 79 10 0
5833 Well,you need some rest brother! We are killing your friends irrespective of the results.You do many things for us but,there is no respect....when,will humans understand 1.1124 0.03367 89 79 10 0
5834 So why do you feel head heavy? 1.1124 0.03727 89 80 8 1
5835 But even if you're not related to Questlove, you can still be proud of who you are. 1.1111 0.04317 54 48 6 0
5836 You didn't know that submitting identical captions under five different aliases turns you into a giant broccoli? 1.1111 0.04588 63 57 5 1
5837 We could try,"eat more cauliflower"? 1.1111 0.03730 72 64 8 0
5838 I've got the little bitty birdies in my hands, I've got the little bitty birdies in my hands, I've got the little bitty birdies in my hands , I've got the whole....well, you know. 1.1111 0.03730 72 64 8 0
5839 Yes! I feel your rejection… 1.1111 0.03730 72 64 8 0
5840 You ever consider massage parlors? 1.1111 0.04588 63 57 5 1
5841 I long to be a Sequoia !!! and my fear is I will never reach my goal, sigh.... "I just what to grow beyond what it is that I think I am ?" 1.1111 0.03991 63 56 7 0
5842 So Brock, we left off with you complaining about your brother E who doesn't wash himself well enough. 1.1111 0.05062 54 49 4 1
5843 To tell you the truth, I'm envious of your hair. 1.1111 0.03991 63 56 7 0
5844 I wish more people would eat me. I just want to die. 1.1111 0.04303 81 74 5 2
5845 Really, I can't believe that people say you're all bark and no bite. 1.1111 0.04303 81 74 5 2
5846 I’m going to go out on a limb and say that your insecurities are deeply rooted from those close to you leaving. 1.1111 0.04588 63 57 5 1
5847 I sure could use a hug just about now. 1.1111 0.03730 72 64 8 0
5848 HOW LONG HAVE YOU ARBORED THIS PAIN ? 1.1111 0.04317 54 48 6 0
5849 Yes; but today I’d like to explore WHY you’re Groot. 1.1111 0.03730 72 64 8 0
5850 What can I say, you live in a leafy suburb. 1.1111 0.03991 63 56 7 0
5851 It’s okay that you’re not vegan. We all enjoy a ham and cheese omelette occasionally. 1.1111 0.04222 72 65 6 1
5852 Want me to out on a limb? 1.1111 0.03928 81 73 7 1
5853 Successful treetment begins by getting to the root of your fear. 1.1111 0.03687 90 81 8 1
5854 How do you feel about your envy of kale? 1.1111 0.04588 63 57 5 1
5855 It would help if you undo you head. 1.1111 0.04662 72 66 4 2
5856 So, cloudy days make you feel blue. 1.1111 0.03928 81 73 7 1
5857 And, How was your father like Bush the Elder? Greg Mattingly Orange, MA 1.1099 0.03297 91 81 10 0
5858 Okay, So you have a crush on a macintosh, but you’re a crabapple. How to get out of the jam? I think you could relax a bit. It wouldn’t hurt to be a bit saucier. 1.1098 0.04593 82 76 3 3
5859 I think my obsession with staying grounded is at the root of all my problems 1.1098 0.03883 82 74 7 1
5860 I see why your name gives you feelings of imposter syndrome, Rob. 1.1098 0.03473 82 73 9 0
5861 So, how do you feel about harboring feelings of rootlessness? 1.1098 0.03883 82 74 7 1
5862 I know the changing of the seasons impacts you more then most, but Spring will be here sooner then you think. 1.1098 0.03473 82 73 9 0
5863 You need to get off that couch. I thought you meant to put down roots here. 1.1098 0.03473 82 73 9 0
5864 I think you took my Halloween tree challenge too seriously 1.1096 0.03681 73 65 8 0
5865 Let's talk about your ego. 1.1096 0.03681 73 65 8 0
5866 I 'm getting a little worried about genetically modified foods. 1.1096 0.03681 73 65 8 0
5867 So you don't want to be a hamburger. What do you want to be? 1.1096 0.03681 73 65 8 0
5868 From my perspective, neither you nor your mother budge. 1.1096 0.04600 73 67 4 2
5869 Don't get "steamed" if I charge a "bunch." 1.1096 0.04166 73 66 6 1
5870 Why do you feel so gross? 1.1096 0.04600 73 67 4 2
5871 So, your brother thinks here's a chicken? 1.1096 0.03681 73 65 8 0
5872 So, how long have you had the feeling that you're nothing more than a cruciferous vegetable? 1.1096 0.04166 73 66 6 1
5873 I just wish they would leaf me alone! 1.1096 0.03681 73 65 8 0
5874 I feel guilty for blocking the forest 1.1094 0.03932 64 57 7 0
5875 Hey Hey gorgeous, where do you get that great haircut? 1.1094 0.04519 64 58 5 1
5876 Cheer up, remember only God can make you. 1.1094 0.04519 64 58 5 1
5877 If you relocate from such a densely populated area, you won't get peed on as often. 1.1094 0.04519 64 58 5 1
5878 I feel like I've lost my roots. 1.1094 0.05038 64 59 3 2
5879 Broccoli, Smoccoli, you are just being paranoid. Not everyone hates you. 1.1094 0.03932 64 57 7 0
5880 I 'm not asking how it feels. 1.1094 0.03932 64 57 7 0
5881 My parents didn't like broccoli, they told me if I ate it I would turn into one. I guess they were telling the truth. 1.1094 0.04519 64 58 5 1
5882 Perhaps if you remove your socks we can get to the root of the issue. 1.1094 0.03932 64 57 7 0
5883 How long have you this way? 1.1094 0.03932 64 57 7 0
5884 I never knew my father. 1.1094 0.04519 64 58 5 1
5885 I don't know how that idea took root, but you have plenty of growth left in you. 1.1094 0.04519 64 58 5 1
5886 The truth is, I'm not the only one who hates you, Broccoli. 1.1091 0.04242 55 49 6 0
5887 I've really been steamed. 1.1091 0.04973 55 50 4 1
5888 I love me some broccoli. 1.1087 0.03610 92 83 8 1
5889 Remember when when i say this, that this is a safe space. Honestly........you're gross. 1.1087 0.03263 92 82 10 0
5890 Hi” 1.1084 0.03838 83 75 7 1
5891 I was traumatized as a child by President George Bush when he declared the following ... "I haven't liked it since I was a little kid and my mother made me eat it. And I'm President of the United States, and I'm not going to eat any more broccoli!'' 1.1084 0.03434 83 74 9 0
5892 The aftermath of Thanksgiving--family trauma and you've eaten more vegetables than you have in the entire year to make it seem like you have a diverse palate. 1.1081 0.03634 74 66 8 0
5893 So, Mrs. Broccoli, how did that make you feel? 1.1081 0.03634 74 66 8 0
5894 So you know you’re good, yet so many say you’re bad. How does that make you feel? 1.1081 0.03634 74 66 8 0
5895 I feel like I have no roots anymore... 1.1081 0.03634 74 66 8 0
5896 You here for the broccoli eaters support group? 1.1081 0.04112 74 67 6 1
5897 So let’s revisit your ambivalence about leaving your small town roots and trying to make it in the city 1.1081 0.04112 74 67 6 1
5898 I’m just depressed, I’m so healthy for people but they never seem to want me around. 1.1081 0.03634 74 66 8 0
5899 I have a strict ‘No Stem on the Couch’ policy. I’m sorry, it’s the same with all of my other patients. 1.1081 0.04112 74 67 6 1
5900 Is it fair to say that what you are most concerned about is frustration about being stuck in your head? 1.1081 0.04540 74 68 4 2
5901 HOW DO YOU COMB YOUR HAIR-- OR DO Y0U? 1.1081 0.04112 74 67 6 1
5902 First, you need to do something about your florets. 1.1077 0.03875 65 58 7 0
5903 Your problems are really going to uproot you! 1.1077 0.03875 65 58 7 0
5904 I'm trying my best here, but your Oedipus Complex is justa bridge too far for me. 1.1077 0.03875 65 58 7 0
5905 So she said you're spinach and the hell with you? 1.1077 0.04452 65 59 5 1
5906 So you feel ignored, unappreciated and it gets you steaming hot? 1.1077 0.04452 65 59 5 1
5907 Your life is endangered and you’re a blight on the neighborhood…go on. 1.1077 0.04452 65 59 5 1
5908 I think that you misunderstood me. I said meditate, not vegetate! 1.1077 0.04452 65 59 5 1
5909 I fear falling and not being heard. Dave Matlow, Westport, CT 1.1077 0.04452 65 59 5 1
5910 Tell me about your saplinghood." 1.1075 0.03573 93 84 8 1
5911 So the bullies used tape to cover the lower part of the B on your locker? 1.1075 0.03230 93 83 10 0
5912 Even though you spent your early childhood trapped in bear scat,that doesnt make you any less of a tree. 1.1075 0.03230 93 83 10 0
5913 Sure, Cauliflower is attractive and Brussels Sprout is adorable, but you are so popular even kids like you. 1.1071 0.04155 84 77 5 2
5914 Tell me more about your fear of mildew. 1.1067 0.03588 75 67 8 0
5915 Why would I think anyone was looking at me funny? 1.1067 0.04060 75 68 6 1
5916 Tell me about being abandoned by your mother. 1.1067 0.04060 75 68 6 1
5917 What do you mean you boiled over every day around six? 1.1067 0.03588 75 67 8 0
5918 this pic goes so hard feel free to screenshot 1.1067 0.03588 75 67 8 0
5919 Being the Tree of Knowledge is a demanding and grueling job, Doc.....It is messing with my head." 1.1067 0.04482 75 69 4 2
5920 You need to get to to the root of the matter. 1.1067 0.04060 75 68 6 1
5921 You say no one likes you. Have you tried becoming more likable? 1.1067 0.03588 75 67 8 0
5922 There are times when Reality is stranger than Fiction! 1.1067 0.03588 75 67 8 0
5923 It’s like they don’t even care if I exist 1.1067 0.04482 75 69 4 2
5924 So after you’re covered in cheese sauce, then what do you think will happen? 1.1067 0.03588 75 67 8 0
5925 Do you ever think you've given that neighbor kid too much? 1.1067 0.04060 75 68 6 1
5926 With therapy, I think your bite could become as bad as your bark. 1.1067 0.03588 75 67 8 0
5927 Have you tried dreadlocks? 1.1061 0.04387 66 60 5 1
5928 So, how are things in the forest? 1.1061 0.03819 66 59 7 0
5929 It’s actually a lot more common that you’d think. 1.1061 0.03819 66 59 7 0
5930 Do you feel like you're growing? 1.1061 0.03819 66 59 7 0
5931 Do others find "deciduous" insulting too? 1.1061 0.04387 66 60 5 1
5932 When did you first feel conflicted reconciling a head for business with a bod for sin? 1.1061 0.03819 66 59 7 0
5933 How did it feel being an acorn among all those maples? 1.1061 0.03819 66 59 7 0
5934 You have a deciduous complex. They're more common than you might suppose. 1.1061 0.04387 66 60 5 1
5935 Being rooted in kindness is a strength Art, not a weakness! Embrace it! 1.1059 0.03357 85 76 9 0
5936 You misunderstood. I said that I was taking new patients named Brock only. 1.1053 0.04008 76 69 6 1
5937 …On that basis, I’m prescribing one bite of chicken on the condition you’re eaten first. How does this sound? 1.1053 0.03544 76 68 8 0
5938 You're smoking again. 1.1053 0.04008 76 69 6 1
5939 Yes, you might wish to change colors, but you won't. Didn't you learn that in tree school 1.1053 0.04008 76 69 6 1
5940 Well yes but you've got to be realistic, Pinocchio would have thought twice about it without universal healthcare. 1.1053 0.03544 76 68 8 0
5941 Most kids don’t like broccoli. So why do you want to become a teacher? 1.1053 0.03544 76 68 8 0
5942 Amazing! The power of concentration on some one thing! 1.1053 0.04101 57 51 6 0
5943 I think you need to see an orthopedist. 1.1053 0.03544 76 68 8 0
5944 Why do you feel you do not have many friends? I'm not branching out 1.1053 0.04008 76 69 6 1
5945 Why do you feel offended when people say you have the brains of a cauliflower? 1.1053 0.04008 76 69 6 1
5946 Why do you believe you are only a sub-species of cabbage? 1.1053 0.03544 76 68 8 0
5947 Technically you are still a tree. Being a Broccoli remains an ambition. 1.1053 0.03544 76 68 8 0
5948 Are you saying you feel stuck, only making Bond Movies?!?! 1.1053 0.04008 76 69 6 1
5949 I'd go with "steamed" and not worry about it. 1.1053 0.03544 76 68 8 0
5950 Jack Dorsey just resigned. He's a bitcoin bitch now. 1.1047 0.03709 86 78 7 1
5951 I know it can't be easy!!! 1.1047 0.04061 86 79 5 2
5952 How long have you had this phobia of chainsaws? 1.1047 0.04061 86 79 5 2
5953 It's not uncommon for florets to feel like a crucifix to a crucifer 1.1047 0.03709 86 78 7 1
5954 On the one hand you say your wife, Ivy, is a clinging vine, on the other you suspect that you're not the father of her children. 1.1047 0.03709 86 78 7 1
5955 So your "to" is also your "fro"? 1.1045 0.03765 67 60 7 0
5956 We're trying to get to the root of the problem. 1.1045 0.04324 67 61 5 1
5957 I know you are boiling over not getting casted for Veggie Tales, but it's time to dispatch! 1.1045 0.03765 67 60 7 0
5958 I’m sorry but you’ll never make new friends if you keep hanging out at the same salad bar. 1.1039 0.04369 77 71 4 2
5959 Cheer up! The others would kill for your nutritional content. 1.1039 0.03500 77 69 8 0
5960 Maybe you should not enter any more limbo contests. 1.1039 0.03958 77 70 6 1
5961 Can I get you some dip with that 1.1039 0.03500 77 69 8 0
5962 I'm sure lots of people like you! 1.1039 0.03500 77 69 8 0
5963 This infatuation with Joyce Kilmer is not healthy." 1.1039 0.03958 77 70 6 1
5964 You should consider yourself lucky. 1.1039 0.03500 77 69 8 0
5965 Have you thought about breathing Wifi? 1.1039 0.04369 77 71 4 2
5966 Your mind is too dense for me to penetrate. 1.1039 0.03500 77 69 8 0
5967 Think of yourself as a tree toad. 1.1034 0.03284 87 78 9 0
5968 My life is over, doc. What am I going to do? 1.1034 0.04034 58 52 6 0
5969 Own it, Big Broccoli. 1.1034 0.04034 58 52 6 0
5970 Great! You just expelled major trauma from your body, releasing Deadly Nightshade poison 1.1034 0.03284 87 78 9 0
5971 Reframe Mr. Broccoli, Kale's popularity is a win for you too! 1.1034 0.04034 58 52 6 0
5972 But everyone doesn't hate you -- so why are you angry at yourself? 1.1029 0.04263 68 62 5 1
5973 I would like to get to the root of the problem. 1.1029 0.03713 68 61 7 0
5974 Apple you glad I didn’t say forage? 1.1026 0.03457 78 70 8 0
5975 So you've been feeling green lately huh? 1.1026 0.03457 78 70 8 0
5976 So, Arthur, are you still dreaming about eating people? 1.1026 0.03909 78 71 6 1
5977 Well, at least you seem to have come out of your vegetative state. 1.1026 0.03909 78 71 6 1
5978 How are you feeling about your tree-tment? 1.1026 0.03909 78 71 6 1
5979 Can't see the forest for the tree. 1.1026 0.03457 78 70 8 0
5980 Are you sure this protects you against the virus? 1.1023 0.03972 88 81 5 2
5981 I don't know if we will make it through the fall. 1.1017 0.03969 59 53 6 0
5982 You must be that new breed of couch potatoes that I've been hearing about. 1.1014 0.03661 69 62 7 0
5983 That's just stinkin' thinkin! 1.1014 0.03661 69 62 7 0
5984 Yes, it's hard to lose your leaves and no longer have a nest of robins to keep you company. Have you considered reading someone other than Kipling? 1.1014 0.03661 69 62 7 0
5985 Granted, I could have prepared my parents better. 1.1014 0.04203 69 63 5 1
5986 You are not an Enemy Of The State and the Bowling-Alley Set is not going to launch a coup de'tat! 1.1014 0.04203 69 63 5 1
5987 He didn’t literally mean, “No more broccoli.” 1.1014 0.03661 69 62 7 0
5988 Everyone keeps calling me broccoli, but I identify as cauliflower. 1.1013 0.03862 79 72 6 1
5989 You must accept living in the shadows. 1.1013 0.03416 79 71 8 0
5990 I think someone may be stalking me online. 1.1011 0.03589 89 81 7 1
5991 So, you're suggesting cannibalism for my diet? 1.1010 0.03044 99 89 10 0
5992 You have to accept it, throwing shade on you is just part of life. 1.1000 0.04145 70 64 5 1
5993 Maybe if you didn't keep mentioning your crown. 1.1000 0.04145 70 64 5 1
5994 We just need to determine the root of the problem. 1.1000 0.03815 80 73 6 1
5995 Just because you're ubiquitous, doesn't mean you're not loved. 1.1000 0.03375 80 72 8 0
5996 Doctor, kindly remove you headgear. My greatest fear is being eaten alive by a pack of wild animals. 1.1000 0.05153 60 56 2 2
5997 Relax, leave behind the paper mill trauma for a moment, and tell me about your childhood roots. 1.1000 0.04145 70 64 5 1
5998 But have you really considered dousing yourself in sauce? 1.1000 0.03180 90 81 9 0
5999 If this cartoon was in color, I'd know whether you were broccoli or cauliflower. 1.1000 0.03612 70 63 7 0
6000 On your advice, I’ve given up using cauliflower. 1.1000 0.04145 70 64 5 1
6001 So, how does being the world's largest broccoli stalk make you feel? 1.1000 0.04618 70 65 3 2
6002 You are good, and people do like you. 1.1000 0.03906 60 54 6 0
6003 I get it. You don't need to hug it out! 1.0989 0.03147 91 82 9 0
6004 I've been down recently. 1.0988 0.03336 81 73 8 0
6005 Let’s talk about your identification as an armless stalker. 1.0988 0.03336 81 73 8 0
6006 That is not what I Meant by 'Getting ahead' in the world. 1.0988 0.03336 81 73 8 0
6007 Maybe everyone hates you because you have no arms? 1.0988 0.03336 81 73 8 0
6008 How did it feel to be uprooted as a child? 1.0988 0.03770 81 74 6 1
6009 Fondue stirs up angst and fear in most people. 1.0986 0.03563 71 64 7 0
6010 I am tired of being told I should branch out! 1.0986 0.03563 71 64 7 0
6011 Nobody likes me, it’s not a mere impression, I hear that all the time. 1.0986 0.03563 71 64 7 0
6012 I'd try lifting your leafy arms to pray. 1.0986 0.04089 71 65 5 1
6013 Nobody sees me, all they ever look at is my top 1.0986 0.03563 71 64 7 0
6014 And just when did you start feeling people started looking at you as if you were a virus? 1.0984 0.03845 61 55 6 0
6015 No you’re not barking mad. 1.0984 0.03845 61 55 6 0
6016 Repeat after me: I'm broccoli, not a tree. 1.0978 0.03477 92 84 7 1
6017 How many hugs did you receive daily when you started with NFS symptoms? 1.0976 0.03726 82 75 6 1
6018 I know you feel bad for not giving him you’re branches but boundaries are important. I’m proud of you. The slap was the cherry on top. 1.0976 0.03297 82 74 8 0
6019 I appreciate that you're trying to emulate me, but you have to get your own life. 1.0976 0.03726 82 75 6 1
6020 Dwelling on George Herbert Walker’s “slanderous declaration” put you where you are. But it wasn’t directed at just you. 1.0976 0.03297 82 74 8 0
6021 Maybe kids don’t like you because it’s something in the genes. 1.0976 0.03297 82 74 8 0
6022 It's really me who should be on the couch. Is that what you're trying to say? 1.0972 0.03516 72 65 7 0
6023 let's talk about Kale... 1.0972 0.04034 72 66 5 1
6024 What we’re dealing with here is spring and summer depression!” 1.0972 0.03516 72 65 7 0
6025 I think I’ve lost my roots. 1.0972 0.03516 72 65 7 0
6026 Take it easy. Biden's Equity Tree initiative will NOT make you the equivalent of a bonsai! 1.0972 0.03516 72 65 7 0
6027 I liked you until I found out I have an intrinsic bias against green. 1.0972 0.04034 72 66 5 1
6028 Hey roomie, I've been meaning to talk. I need you to give me some air. 1.0972 0.03516 72 65 7 0
6029 And how did you feel when Smoky abandoned you? 1.0972 0.03516 72 65 7 0
6030 So tell me more about this beef… 1.0972 0.03516 72 65 7 0
6031 “Even as a true vegan in-sider…. you’ll still want to watch out for cauliflower ears.” 1.0971 0.02932 103 93 10 0
6032 So you are convinced they take you for a CIA plant,and they're plotting to cut you down. 1.0968 0.03765 93 86 5 2
6033 Perhaps the cognitive behavioral therapy worked a bit too well. 1.0968 0.03785 62 56 6 0
6034 So were you welcome at the Mustard Family Reunion? 1.0968 0.03785 62 56 6 0
6035 I tell you, the guy was STALKING me! 1.0968 0.04429 62 57 4 1
6036 Does it really matter that George H. W. Bush dislike you? 1.0964 0.03259 83 75 8 0
6037 I give this stuff to patients!? 1.0964 0.04062 83 77 4 2
6038 Has envy guided you ever snce You were a young sprout? 1.0959 0.03981 73 67 5 1
6039 I can't help you solve your problem when you are obfuscating it's roots. 1.0959 0.03470 73 66 7 0
6040 Why do you think you are being stalked by a bleu cheese monster? 1.0959 0.03470 73 66 7 0
6041 Listen Doc, being broccoli is no walk in the garden. 1.0959 0.03470 73 66 7 0
6042 You’re definitely more indigenous than deciduous. 1.0959 0.03981 73 67 5 1
6043 No one invited you to the cheese soup pool party & you’re suffering from “FOMO?” (Fear of missing out. 1.0959 0.03470 73 66 7 0
6044 Every morning I wake up dreaming of a world without forests. 1.0959 0.03470 73 66 7 0
6045 sorry, trees do not grow in Brooklyn 1.0952 0.03728 63 57 6 0
6046 You turned out to be less of a giving tree, and more of a terrible roommate tree. 1.0952 0.03728 63 57 6 0
6047 So you don't own the James Bond franchise? 1.0952 0.03640 84 77 6 1
6048 Maybe I’m going on a limb here, but could it be- Oh… I’m so sorry.. Forget I said that! 1.0952 0.03728 63 57 6 0
6049 WOMAN, WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU, I DO NOT WORK WITH VIGGIES...DAMN 1.0952 0.04361 63 58 4 1
6050 Why do you think you can't stay in one place? 1.0952 0.03222 84 76 8 0
6051 I decided to be here because I believe in Psychiatry. This visit was precipitated by my previous vegan, psychic, intuitive coach who advised Forest bathing. Clearly resulting in a complete fail. 1.0952 0.03728 63 57 6 0
6052 Yes, the New Yorker did say 'to hell with you.' But really, who reads anymore? 1.0952 0.03640 84 77 6 1
6053 Look Terrence, I think you need to just branch out a little. 1.0952 0.04361 63 58 4 1
6054 I have this overwhelming fear I'm going to be clear-cut." 1.0952 0.03728 63 57 6 0
6055 You just need to “grow some.” 1.0952 0.03222 84 76 8 0
6056 So your father would give anything but his time? 1.0946 0.03425 74 67 7 0
6057 Ms Broccoli, it is true that 25% of the population are supertasters and therefore hate you, but you must look on the positive side--75% of the people actually like you, or at least think you are okay. 1.0946 0.03929 74 68 5 1
6058 Yes, I could see where it would be stressful for you to be in a relationship with a Vegan. 1.0946 0.03929 74 68 5 1
6059 Now let's talk about how it makes you feel when you say your bark is worse than your bite... 1.0946 0.03425 74 67 7 0
6060 If it will make you less self-conscious I guess I could shave my head. 1.0946 0.03929 74 68 5 1
6061 So you were stalked? 1.0943 0.04867 53 49 3 1
6062 If you really want me to help you find your roots, you're going to have to quit missing our appointments. 1.0943 0.04053 53 48 5 0
6063 I would not worry, it’s just a result of all those mixed-up neurotransmitters after Electroconvulsive Therapy. 1.0941 0.03599 85 78 6 1
6064 It's always the Black guy as the psychiatrist and anything remotely white as the patient. 1.0938 0.04295 64 59 4 1
6065 If the couch is not your preference, you can just floret. 1.0938 0.04295 64 59 4 1
6066 I know. I know. But, broccoli is not out to replace you. It’s not like WebMD. 1.0938 0.03672 64 58 6 0
6067 Shall we talk about your roots? 1.0938 0.03672 64 58 6 0
6068 Fairly classic case of tredipus complex, I'd say. 1.0938 0.04295 64 59 4 1
6069 Tapped out? 1.0933 0.03878 75 69 5 1
6070 How long did it take you to grow your Afro? I know my other patients would be impressed if I could get mine half as big. 1.0933 0.03382 75 68 7 0
6071 Now that kale and microgreens have the premier locations, I barely even get misted on. 1.0933 0.03382 75 68 7 0
6072 brocoli wrong? 1.0930 0.03151 86 78 8 0
6073 ‘You don’t feel like a broccoli? 1.0923 0.03618 65 59 6 0
6074 So what makes you feel you want to be a woman? 1.0923 0.04231 65 60 4 1
6075 You shouldn't be concerned about being served as a "seasonal vegetable" all year round. 1.0923 0.03618 65 59 6 0
6076 You're not deciduous,Autumn is not the cruellest month. Cruciferous,Broccoli! 1.0923 0.04231 65 60 4 1
6077 My brain is fried." 1.0923 0.03618 65 59 6 0
6078 Sorry. Reading "Gone With the Wind" will not explain the roots of your dilemma. 1.0923 0.03618 65 59 6 0
6079 What seems to be the prob-elm? 1.0921 0.03339 76 69 7 0
6080 It's not your imagination. There really is a conspiracy against you. 1.0921 0.03339 76 69 7 0
6081 It’s not your Afro that’s weighing you down. Dig deeper. 1.0921 0.03829 76 70 5 1
6082 Let's work on your self-eSTEAM. 1.0921 0.03829 76 70 5 1
6083 No, you're not alone... 1.0909 0.03912 55 50 5 0
6084 I'm not a psychoanalyst! 1.0909 0.03566 66 60 6 0
6085 How’d you get such a big Afro? 1.0909 0.03780 77 71 5 1
6086 So you are afraid of how others will think of you when you are grilled? 1.0909 0.03780 77 71 5 1
6087 How many times do I have to tell you? I'm a sofa broccoli, not a couch potato! 1.0909 0.03566 66 60 6 0
6088 This space needs rewilding and not more humans! 1.0909 0.03082 88 80 8 0
6089 And so I said, “buddy, they won’t even let me fuck it.” 1.0909 0.03780 77 71 5 1
6090 I'm sorry, I know it's Broccoli Ralph. Not Broccoli Rob. 1.0909 0.03298 77 70 7 0
6091 If I knew you would have gotten this big, I wouldn't have joked about pardoning you on thanksgiving all those years ago. 1.0909 0.03566 66 60 6 0
6092 Maybe an axe will knock some sense into you 1.0909 0.03298 77 70 7 0
6093 Look...losing your leaves is nothing to fret about. You 1.0909 0.03780 77 71 5 1
6094 How long have you been a health food nut? 1.0909 0.03912 55 50 5 0
6095 Any memories prior to being a sapling? 1.0897 0.03734 78 72 5 1
6096 So, you are tired of being a tree. What would you like to be? 1.0897 0.03257 78 71 7 0
6097 Hey, trust me, broccs are are all the rage! 1.0897 0.03734 78 72 5 1
6098 Sure, many of my religious clients start that way. Lettuce pray. 1.0897 0.03257 78 71 7 0
6099 You simply need to get back to your roots! 1.0897 0.03734 78 72 5 1
6100 Shouldn't your leaves have changed by now? 1.0897 0.03734 78 72 5 1
6101 I understand that your dad was a very passionate tree hugger 1.0897 0.03734 78 72 5 1
6102 Romanesco keeps getting in the middle of everything 1.0896 0.03515 67 61 6 0
6103 The fact that you ruined the lives of millions of children doesn't mean that you are totally worthless 1.0896 0.03515 67 61 6 0
6104 But if you were a tree, what kind of tree would you be? 1.0896 0.03515 67 61 6 0
6105 It's okay, dear. Everyone has a bad hair day sometimes. 1.0896 0.03515 67 61 6 0
6106 It's fall, already! Don't you think it's time to leave? 1.0896 0.03515 67 61 6 0
6107 And exactly when did you realize you weren’t like other trees? 1.0896 0.04626 67 63 2 2
6108 Everybody needs some alone time. Taking a break from the forest wq 1.0896 0.03515 67 61 6 0
6109 You need to stop being so afraid of change. 1.0893 0.03845 56 51 5 0
6110 I ‘ve been terrified of squirrels ever since I was an acorn. 1.0893 0.03845 56 51 5 0
6111 It's a lot more stressful being a tree now with climate change, wildfires, and drought. Before you just had to worry about woodpeckers and termites. Shirley Nishimura, Seattle, WA. 1.0893 0.04613 56 52 3 1
6112 My diagnosis is you’re vegging out too much. 1.0886 0.03688 79 73 5 1
6113 Sometimes I just want to take. 1.0886 0.03218 79 72 7 0
6114 I feel like my growth is circular. 1.0886 0.03688 79 73 5 1
6115 It's only natural to feel leafed out at times. 1.0886 0.03218 79 72 7 0
6116 Ok, so you are intindated by Kale and Chard's nutritional values.... 1.0886 0.03218 79 72 7 0
6117 As a matter of fact - oh! please excuse my language! - at the Fuhrer's request, I am overseeing Selection of potential Stealth Tree Gunracks for the next insurrection ... picnic, I mean. The next regular tourist picnic. 1.0886 0.03218 79 72 7 0
6118 Sure, it's been a minute since The Wizard of Oz, but the studio business it tough these days. 1.0886 0.03218 79 72 7 0
6119 I would suggest a Full Makeover 1.0882 0.04049 68 63 4 1
6120 Today we are going to focus on the problem of your roots.” 1.0882 0.03465 68 62 6 0
6121 I'm afraid you have Anthracnose, the at ease disease there's a fungus among us malady. 1.0882 0.04559 68 64 2 2
6122 Have you considered that you should strive to be self affirming, even if President Bush did hate you? 1.0882 0.04049 68 63 4 1
6123 No, you’re not nuts. You just have nuts. 1.0875 0.03643 80 74 5 1
6124 If you're going to lie around here all winter, you should have dropped your leaves outside first. 1.0875 0.03179 80 73 7 0
6125 You need a good dose of fungi 1.0875 0.03643 80 74 5 1
6126 I told you to learn how to manage your money better, now your Broke-oli 1.0870 0.03417 69 63 6 0
6127 So you can call your self the son of a tree if you feel lack of authenticity. 1.0870 0.03417 69 63 6 0
6128 I know talking about sex is awkward - as it was for your mother and me 1.0870 0.03992 69 64 4 1
6129 So, you were assigned male at birth? 1.0870 0.03992 69 64 4 1
6130 I seem to have brain fog all the time. 1.0870 0.03417 69 63 6 0
6131 And how did you feel when you first saw the deep fryer? 1.0870 0.03417 69 63 6 0
6132 Perhaps it's the lack of a child that's eating you. 1.0870 0.03992 69 64 4 1
6133 So, when did you begin to suspect that you weren't really broccolini? Why didn't anyone in your family ever tell you? 1.0870 0.03417 69 63 6 0
6134 Sometimes a person eventually learns to like or even love another that they previously resented. 1.0870 0.03417 69 63 6 0
6135 Ash Lie-back 1.0864 0.03141 81 74 7 0
6136 I know you feel uprooted,but at least you didn’t burn in that horrendous fire. 1.0864 0.03141 81 74 7 0
6137 I can't stand, you can't sit; Geppetto didn't carve us jointed knees. 1.0864 0.03599 81 75 5 1
6138 Well, it's true that I said eating broccoli has been shown to aid brain regeneration, but you may be an example of an unknown side effect. 1.0864 0.03599 81 75 5 1
6139 It's all in your head. 1.0862 0.03718 58 53 5 0
6140 When a CRISPR technician loves a stalk of broccoli very much ... 1.0857 0.03370 70 64 6 0
6141 There’s a place in L.A. called “Tree people.” Maybe that would be a good place for you to leave New York for retirement. But I don’t give advice. 1.0857 0.03937 70 65 4 1
6142 The bad news is that you appear to have a split personality. The good news is that I need a cord. 1.0857 0.03370 70 64 6 0
6143 And did dropping out of Rabe school strain your relationship with the rest of the family? 1.0857 0.03370 70 64 6 0
6144 Just exactly how many times have you been assaulted as being the Covid virus? 1.0857 0.03370 70 64 6 0
6145 I highly advise not turning them all over at the same time. 1.0857 0.03937 70 65 4 1
6146 How long have you been falling this way? 1.0854 0.03105 82 75 7 0
6147 Next session, let's tackle plating 1.0854 0.03557 82 76 5 1
6148 Tell me why you feel convinced there is a dark cloud over your head? 1.0854 0.03105 82 75 7 0
6149 I just feel green all the time. 1.0845 0.03883 71 66 4 1
6150 I'm constantly being judged about my head, but what about what's in my heart? 1.0845 0.03883 71 66 4 1
6151 And how long have you been experiencing these petrified dreams? 1.0845 0.03883 71 66 4 1
6152 Brocco Lee sounds multi ethnic which is how you 1.0843 0.03515 83 77 5 1
6153 You have good bark, but you barked up the wrong tree. 1.0843 0.03515 83 77 5 1
6154 So when did you start feeling unappreciated? 1.0843 0.03069 83 76 7 0
6155 Have you considered putting down roots somewhere? 1.0843 0.03069 83 76 7 0
6156 You’ll get your holiday someday. 1.0833 0.03034 84 77 7 0
6157 Just because everyone is naked, doesn’t mean you have to feel bad about yourself. 1.0833 0.03598 60 55 5 0
6158 You seem to be seeking vegetable equity 1.0833 0.03034 84 77 7 0
6159 It's not your fault you're NOT organic ! 1.0833 0.03598 60 55 5 0
6160 ‘’after he called you a nut job… then what ? ‘’ l d soderlind mpls mn 1.0833 0.03830 72 67 4 1
6161 I think it's important for you to get back in touch with your roots. 1.0833 0.03280 72 66 6 0
6162 They say that all good things must end someday, Autumn leaves must fall... 1.0822 0.03237 73 67 6 0
6163 I don't think my secretary knew what I meant when I said I wanted some broccoli... 1.0822 0.03779 73 68 4 1
6164 So you say butter and salt are essentials to every day life? 1.0822 0.03779 73 68 4 1
6165 I don't do Instagram 1.0822 0.03779 73 68 4 1
6166 You are suffering from radicataphobia, which is a disabling fear of putting down roots 1.0814 0.03396 86 80 5 1
6167 But you're couch broccoli, not a plate broccoli. You can have LOTS of friends! 1.0811 0.03729 74 69 4 1
6168 I’m not gonna lie, it’s been rough. 1.0811 0.03195 74 68 6 0
6169 Hey listen, don't go on hunger strike yet, President Biden just announced that, he is confident of convincing Senator Manchin that you need to be saved for our survival! 1.0811 0.03195 74 68 6 0
6170 I don't think the Secret Life of Trees was about you personally. 1.0811 0.03729 74 69 4 1
6171 Why are you afraid to put down roots? 1.0806 0.04176 62 58 3 1
6172 You're depressed and worried that someone will mistake you for a Giving Tree? 1.0806 0.04176 62 58 3 1
6173 Relax, it's "reform the cops", not the copse. 1.0805 0.02933 87 80 7 0
6174 Just close your eyes and synthesize ... synthesize. 1.0800 0.03681 75 70 4 1
6175 Let’s see if we can get to the root of your problem so you will have a more sunny disposition. 1.0800 0.03154 75 69 6 0
6176 What I'm hoping to do here is take you back to your roots. 1.0800 0.03681 75 70 4 1
6177 I know - it's your mother's fault! 1.0800 0.03154 75 69 6 0
6178 Existential fears of rainforest extinction, yes, but I did plant a tree in my backyard. 1.0795 0.02901 88 81 7 0
6179 It’s isn’t that they hate you, they just really love free two-day shipping. 1.0794 0.03433 63 58 5 0
6180 I know what it's like to feel like no one likes you. Have you tried roasting? 1.0794 0.03433 63 58 5 0
6181 It’s that you tend to bark up the wrong ones. 1.0794 0.03433 63 58 5 0
6182 So do you feel the entire weight of the world on your shoulders? 1.0794 0.03433 63 58 5 0
6183 So what if they call you a tree? You are not a plant. There is no shame in being a vegetable. 1.0789 0.03114 76 70 6 0
6184 I can't see the wood from the trees. 1.0789 0.03114 76 70 6 0
6185 How often do you have the feeling that the whole world is against you? 1.0789 0.03114 76 70 6 0
6186 Dad was never really that jolly 1.0789 0.03114 76 70 6 0
6187 Yeah, I have friends but some of them say I stink. 1.0789 0.03634 76 71 4 1
6188 And your beautician never mentioned your unruly hair? 1.0784 0.02675 102 94 8 0
6189 I am not Groot. Neither are you. 1.0781 0.04049 64 60 3 1
6190 You should audition for “Finding Your Roots.” 1.0781 0.04049 64 60 3 1
6191 Don't worry, you're just a little down. You aren't going out of your tree. 1.0781 0.03381 64 59 5 0
6192 Sometimes in life we get fettuccini. Trust me, I get penne envy too, every once in a while. 1.0779 0.03075 77 71 6 0
6193 I WOOD like you to continYEW your TREEtment. Is that OAK-kay?” (There. Is that “punny” enough for you, you hacks? 1.0779 0.03075 77 71 6 0
6194 Doc: Which branch of the bark family did you say you sprung from? Tree"Say wha? 1.0769 0.03037 78 72 6 0
6195 What's weighing on your head today? 1.0769 0.03543 78 73 4 1
6196 I’ve learned that ‘vegging out’ is wasted on the very young. “ 1.0769 0.03331 65 60 5 0
6197 Actually, it’s not a recurring dream. You really are naked in public every New Years Eve. 1.0769 0.03331 65 60 5 0
6198 And you think...........................what 1.0769 0.03988 65 61 3 1
6199 I can’t get over my childhood “broccoli in your teeth” guilt. Nobody smiles when I’m around. 1.0769 0.03331 65 60 5 0
6200 It appears that the fear of covid has gone to your head. 1.0769 0.03037 78 72 6 0
6201 - THE MINORITY, MINORITY - I feel you, it's always"black, white, blue, green." BTW, dig that fro !! 1.0769 0.03331 65 60 5 0
6202 I gotta tell you, this harrowing tale you tell... You have some serious issues and I can't go out on a limb to help you. When you leave, I'm calling my daughter and tell her to "Duck and cover, Princess" 1.0759 0.03000 79 73 6 0
6203 Your feelings are valid- Being an elder offspring, in a large family like Cruciferae, means that the younger siblings will sometimes get more attention. It doesn't mean that the farmer lives you any less 1.0759 0.03000 79 73 6 0
6204 Who referred you to me as a "shady analyst"? 1.0758 0.03282 66 61 5 0
6205 And how did it feel to lose your head? 1.0758 0.03282 66 61 5 0
6206 Have you been feeling green lately? 1.0758 0.03282 66 61 5 0
6207 When did your feelings of uprootedness begin? 1.0758 0.03282 66 61 5 0
6208 I can’t see the trees for the forest, for one. Is that so shocking?. 1.0750 0.03456 80 75 4 1
6209 It may be hard to find the roots of your problem, but it's clear your ready to foot the bill. 1.0746 0.03235 67 62 5 0
6210 So you've got bark beetles. It's not like you're on a logging road or anything. 1.0735 0.03815 68 64 3 1
6211 As I count backwards from five, there will be no more thoughts of steam, no more knives and definitely no more MSG. 1.0735 0.03189 68 63 5 0
6212 I understand your grief over losing your family members and your fear of future danger, but could you explain further your dread of predjudice regarding your darker skin color 1.0735 0.03189 68 63 5 0
6213 "Of all the places in this world, where does the City plant me... smack in the middle of a Doggy park. These mutts were treating me like I was their toilet bowl at home, but these 4-legged pests weren't drinking! 1.0735 0.03815 68 64 3 1
6214 So Brock, tell me again why you think your Dad was a famous Kung Fu Movie Star..? 1.0732 0.02894 82 76 6 0
6215 I can tell you're steamed. Hold on I'll be add-dressing your phobias shortly. 1.0732 0.03374 82 77 4 1
6216 Explain to me what you believe is the reason your leaves didn't turn colors 1.0732 0.03374 82 77 4 1
6217 Maybe you should leaf the city. 1.0725 0.03144 69 64 5 0
6218 So, I understand that you are feeling guilty about your great white oak privilege? 1.0725 0.03144 69 64 5 0
6219 When you're flirting at the bar, try not to use the phrase "hot broccoli injection." 1.0725 0.03144 69 64 5 0
6220 I would have said yes to marrying you, but not after this! 1.0725 0.03144 69 64 5 0
6221 See, you are getting eaten, just up and inside. 1.0725 0.03144 69 64 5 0
6222 Some of my best friends are cedars. 1.0725 0.03144 69 64 5 0
6223 Let's talk some more about how you feel that you are not being seen in the forest 1.0725 0.03144 69 64 5 0
6224 Please, just pick up the leaves on your way out 1.0723 0.02860 83 77 6 0
6225 I make children cry until they pass out at the dinner table. 1.0723 0.03334 83 78 4 1
6226 Mr. Brocolli, I am sure if you used your connections you could get a significant role in the next, post-Craig, Bond movie. Surely it would improve your self esteem. 1.0714 0.03709 70 66 3 1
6227 You truly need to have your headwear trimmed! 1.0714 0.03100 70 65 5 0
6228 I don’t think a vacation would solve your aching arms problem You might want to try a tree surgeon.. 1.0714 0.03100 70 65 5 0
6229 When did you start to feel like you don’t fit in? 1.0714 0.03100 70 65 5 0
6230 You know what they say, "sticks and stones may, or... um. Sorry." 1.0714 0.02827 84 78 6 0
6231 How you doin', Puddinhead? 1.0714 0.03295 84 79 4 1
6232 What you're suffering from is a need for roots. 1.0706 0.02795 85 79 6 0
6233 We’ll get to the root of your problems. 1.0704 0.03058 71 66 5 0
6234 Last week we left off discussing self-care and grooming. 1.0704 0.03058 71 66 5 0
6235 How long have you felt like you were a Mangrove? 1.0704 0.03058 71 66 5 0
6236 Where’d you get your leavescut? 1.0704 0.03058 71 66 5 0
6237 Try not to stress your crown over this. 1.0704 0.03058 71 66 5 0
6238 Sometimes I just feel like putting my head into sand... Go back to being a seed. 1.0704 0.03058 71 66 5 0
6239 I think you're bitter about being roasted because your childhood was rabbed. 1.0702 0.03413 57 53 4 0
6240 Yes, we now know that trees communicate with each other but sending misinformation is inexcusable. 1.0702 0.03413 57 53 4 0
6241 Please do feel at home,your kind is all around you. 1.0694 0.03017 72 67 5 0
6242 I knew there was something suspicious about that broccoli. 1.0694 0.03607 72 68 3 1
6243 People say they want me in their lives, but when they see me, they ignore me. 1.0694 0.03017 72 67 5 0
6244 I know you've gone through sooo much . . . . Just a minute, let me get you a pillow. 1.0682 0.02702 88 82 6 0
6245 Doc, It's not easy living in a meatless society. 1.0678 0.03301 59 55 4 0
6246 Did you eat any of that broccoli last night? 1.0676 0.02938 74 69 5 0
6247 And so you believe that by leaving you significantly helped improve their view of the forest? 1.0676 0.02938 74 69 5 0
6248 Yes, I can relate 1.0676 0.02938 74 69 5 0
6249 I think you might need to separate from the bunch for a little bit until you get your headspace more balanced 1.0667 0.04024 60 57 2 1
6250 Taro root? Remember you had these same feelings about kale—be proud of your consistency. 1.0667 0.03247 60 56 4 0
6251 I know just the person to fix your vitamin deficiency - Broccoliacci, the health food clown. He'll fix you right up. 1.0667 0.02900 75 70 5 0
6252 You have a common holiday affliction known as 'needle envy'. 1.0667 0.02644 90 84 6 0
6253 No I don't think I look like you, and each moment that you don't speak saps me of the oxygen I need to think clearly to try to help you! 1.0667 0.02644 90 84 6 0
6254 Don't worry about losing your leaves. I have a robot vac. 1.0658 0.02863 76 71 5 0
6255 Thank you for inviting me to your nice apartment. I am really very tired of standing all time at the park in front of the condominium. 1.0658 0.02863 76 71 5 0
6256 And how does not having roots make you feel? 1.0658 0.02863 76 71 5 0
6257 You saw what happened to Vincent Price in the movie 'The Fly', didn't you? 1.0658 0.03421 76 72 3 1
6258 So you have an aversion to brocolli? 1.0656 0.03196 61 57 4 0
6259 I'd have thought you'd be more invested in your log. 1.0645 0.03145 62 58 4 0
6260 I don't know why you call yourself a blockhead. Joe Biden is a blockhead, and you're much more competent than he. Well, 99% of the population is more competent than that rat bastard. 1.0635 0.03097 63 59 4 0
6261 So, what made you go out on a limb? 1.0635 0.03097 63 59 4 0
6262 Be kind to yourself, we’re all human. 1.0633 0.03293 79 75 3 1
6263 Have you ever tried letting your hair down? 1.0625 0.02723 80 75 5 0
6264 How well you have adapted, sweetheart! 1.0625 0.03050 64 60 4 0
6265 I feel I ought to tell you this is my first day 1.0625 0.03050 64 60 4 0
6266 Try a little chopped garlic around his stalk. 1.0625 0.03776 64 61 2 1
6267 I know this is only our first meeting, and in my line of work we rarely reach conclusions so easily. But I think I can provide an explanation for those dreams you've described, in which you're covered with cheese and eaten by elementary school kids. 1.0615 0.03004 65 61 4 0
6268 What, exoccoly, is your problem? 1.0615 0.03004 65 61 4 0
6269 When i said,branch out,this isn’t exactly what i meant! 1.0615 0.03004 65 61 4 0
6270 Can you tell about your sense of lose that you experience every October 1.0606 0.02960 66 62 4 0
6271 I see. How do you feel about that? 1.0597 0.03609 67 64 2 1
6272 So tell me why you feel you are the least liked vegetable? 1.0597 0.02916 67 63 4 0
6273 You came here to check on me? You're happy about rising CO2 levels? 1.0588 0.02875 68 64 4 0
6274 Cheese wont speak to me, says its in quarantine. I want to spoon 1.0588 0.02567 85 80 5 0
6275 BROC TALK 1.0588 0.02875 68 64 4 0
6276 Are you surprised to be stalked? 1.0588 0.02875 68 64 4 0
6277 Brussels Sprouts are more popular! 1.0581 0.02538 86 81 5 0
6278 I mean, man I just feel like I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place". "I don't know, I just feel so rooted and stuck in this deep pit of darkness and tough ground"." Ah yes, I can see were your coming from" 1.0563 0.02756 71 67 4 0
6279 You know for being an overgrown Broccoli you don't have as many issues as I thought you would have! 1.0548 0.02682 73 69 4 0
6280 You seem tasty- sorry,Freudian slip,I meant traumatised. 1.0548 0.02682 73 69 4 0
6281 So your sex life isn't as steamy ...chop, chop... get off that couch and get back out there!" Heidi Roe, Myrtle Point, Or 1.0526 0.02578 76 72 4 0
6282 You're depressed because you refuse to put down roots. 1.0526 0.02578 76 72 4 0
6283 Well, first it was my great uncle, then my father and mother, then my best friend...I'm afraid I'm next on the chopping block...can you help me grow BIG thorns or something to protect myself? 1.0500 0.02837 60 57 3 0
6284 Let’s talk about why you think it would be wrong to bark up yourself. 1.0492 0.02792 61 58 3 0
6285 I’m sorry, I don’t participate in any GMO plans. 1.0484 0.02747 62 59 3 0
6286 "So if I can guess what you two are doing, will you leave us alone?" 1.0476 0.02338 84 80 4 0
6287 This chair is soooooo comfy. You couldn't pay me to trade. Did you say $200? No way. Okay five minutes then. Just to make you shut up. 1.0476 0.02705 63 60 3 0
6288 I'm just not used to being hugged. 1.0476 0.02705 63 60 3 0
6289 Let me explain . . . board feet is not necessarily a derogatory term. 1.0462 0.02623 65 62 3 0
6290 No, obviously I didn't call you a couch potato. 1.0455 0.02584 66 63 3 0
6291 Yes, I do believe that you can still be yourself, but stay committed to your relationship. 1.0448 0.02546 67 64 3 0
6292 All this pressure to store CO2, my trunk' is about to explode, Doc? 1.0435 0.02473 69 66 3 0
6293 Ixnay on the Viagra. 1.0429 0.02438 70 67 3 0
6294 Mr. Sycamore, as a survivor of tree trafficking, you’ll thrive in our evidence-based program. We’ll dispense a little Miracle Grow, some Polly Anna and abundant anti-psychotics to keep ugly truths locked away in the petrified. Progress, right? 1.0417 0.02372 72 69 3 0
6295 If you were related to Barbara would that have an effect on how you drink your Martinis? 1.0405 0.02308 74 71 3 0
6296 I understand that you resent that your parents still dote on your little brother Broccolini even though he is 34. 1.0400 0.02278 75 72 3 0
6297 Just because you've become half vegetable, you don't have to be so grumpy. 1.0380 0.02164 79 76 3 0
6298 Perhaps when you admit to yourself that, um, you are going to lose your hair someday, you will then branch out a bit and enjoy life more. 1.0317 0.02227 63 61 2 0
6299 What do they mean when they say 1.0303 0.02126 66 64 2 0
6300 I want you to imagine a world where the only way to get children to eat their broccoli is by telling them it's just tiny trees. They then gnaw off all the 'leaves' and leave the stumps on their plates. How would you fix this world? 1.0256 0.01801 78 76 2 0
6301 I don’t know how to tell you this. I’ve never loved you. 1.0244 0.01714 82 80 2 0
6302 I suggest you re-connect with your roots. 1.0182 0.01835 55 54 1 0
6303 When did you start worrying you are not eating healthy enough? 1.0169 0.01709 59 58 1 0