Contest #779


Cartoon

779

The winning captions

These captions are chosen by The New Yorker.

  1. “Technically, the fish is still in the bowl.”
  2. “At first, I just wanted a sip of water. Then things got out of hand.”
  3. “I want to speak with my lawyer.”


Name Value
Submission deadline 2021-11-07T21:15:00.000Z
Voting started -
Voting ended 2021-11-21T21:16:00.000Z
Finalists announced 2021-11-15T21:16:00.000Z
Magazine(s) announcing finalists issued November 22, 2021
Number of captions 4675
Number of responses 701175
Number of participants -


Dashboard

In this table, the "mean" means the empirically measured average funniness score when the "unfunny", "somewhat funny" and "funny" receive a funniness score of 1, 2, 3 respectively. "Precison" is the standard error of the mean, the standard deviation of the mean estimate. With that, a caption with an empirical mean μ and precision σ has true mean in the range [μ - 2σ, μ + 2σ] with 95% probability by the 68-95-99.7 rule assuming the responses are indepedent and identically distributed.

Rank Caption Mean Precision Total votes "Unfunny" votes "Somewhat funny" votes "Funny" votes
0 I don't ask you how you squeezed into that sweater. 1.9495 0.01096 5564 2006 1833 1725
1 In my defense,the water dish was empty and the toilet lid was down 1.8972 0.01400 3219 1198 1154 867
2 Now that you've sobered up, do you remember where you took the goldfish on their walk? 1.8810 0.01316 3790 1496 1249 1045
3 Forget the little castle. Could I get a fire hydrant in here? 1.8565 0.01378 3353 1342 1150 861
4 You sure this'll fool the landlord? 1.8528 0.01142 5000 2053 1630 1317
5 Technically, the fish is still in the bowl. 1.8496 0.01210 4336 1752 1484 1100
6 Next time you order a Guppy, turn off the AutoCorrect! 1.8448 0.01312 3924 1676 1181 1067
7 Technically, the goldfish is still in this bowl. 1.8418 0.01172 4666 1923 1558 1185
8 We all live in one. You just can't see yours. 1.8414 0.01204 4362 1779 1496 1087
9 I can recommend the fish. 1.8390 0.01254 4100 1705 1350 1045
10 It's just until you are vaccinated. 1.8358 0.01238 4112 1689 1409 1014
11 Yeah this is an emergency. Break the Glass 1.8308 0.01827 1850 754 655 441
12 I'm guessing I'm your first dog. 1.8219 0.01228 3992 1621 1461 910
13 And you wonder why she thinks you’re not ready to have kids. 1.8155 0.01300 3805 1639 1229 937
14 In a sense, the goldfish is still in the bowl. 1.8001 0.01289 3662 1553 1288 821
15 Promise me that when I die you won't flush me down the toilet. 1.7901 0.01496 2735 1184 941 610
16 And then the fish said, "wanna see a magic trick?" 1.7870 0.01513 2699 1182 910 607
17 I am a talking dog, for crying out loud, and you're fixated on how I got into this glass globe? 1.7858 0.01199 4458 2008 1397 1053
18 You’ll have to be more specific. I’ve seen a lot of fish. 1.7850 0.01467 2874 1264 964 646
19 No, I haven't seen the goldfish. Why do you ask? 1.7798 0.01404 3006 1294 1080 632
20 You don't really know what a dog bowl is do you? 1.7784 0.01258 3876 1714 1307 855
21 Well, the good news is you no longer have to feed the fish. 1.7738 0.01557 2405 1034 881 490
22 Fish and I swapped. He's on your bed. 1.7731 0.01307 3601 1608 1202 791
23 I was thirsty...and while I was here...turns out I was also hungry 1.7664 0.02333 1083 475 386 222
24 Now that you got me past the condo board, get me out of here! 1.7615 0.01450 2902 1313 968 621
25 No Jack. She said to put the guppy in the bowl and take the puppy out. 1.7610 0.01193 4322 1969 1417 936
26 It's called a terrierium. 1.7603 0.01379 3213 1458 1067 688
27 Relax — they're upstairs fetching your slippers." 1.7599 0.01660 2203 996 740 467
28 This is your first pet, isn't it? 1.7581 0.01370 3076 1350 1120 606
29 Well, as it turns out, he didn't taste like chicken. 1.7519 0.01102 5216 2460 1590 1166
30 I identify as goldfish. 1.7511 0.01174 4584 2160 1405 1019
31 When I said I'd like a dog bowl, this isn't what I had in mind. 1.7482 0.01407 2808 1223 1069 516
32 Terrierium 1.7475 0.01183 4321 1990 1432 899
33 ...So the fish says, 'Come in here, I want to show you something' 1.7394 0.01672 2053 926 736 391
34 I’d like to go back to crate training if that’s okay with you. 1.7391 0.02119 1280 578 458 244
35 I think I'd rather have the cone of shame back, please. 1.7385 0.01386 3120 1449 1038 633
36 Well, it was a catfish. 1.7382 0.01407 2953 1351 1024 578
37 Now I know how they get the model ships in. It's not pretty. 1.7354 0.01400 2906 1313 1049 544
38 I'll admit that mistakes were made. 1.7352 0.01396 2897 1303 1058 536
39 I identify as a fish. 1.7349 0.01189 4353 2069 1369 915
40 All my life I have felt that I am a fish trapped in a dog’s body. 1.7312 0.01751 1901 878 656 367
41 I've decided to identify as a goldfish. 1.7307 0.01433 2878 1342 969 567
42 Go Fetch? I thought you said "go fish". 1.7292 0.01776 1806 825 645 336
43 And I'll stay here until you get vaccinated! 1.7274 0.01486 2737 1301 881 555
44 I think you meant guppy. 1.7216 0.01601 2184 1000 792 392
45 I'm house sitting for the goldfish. 1.7188 0.01469 2582 1184 940 458
46 You won't wear a mask in the house, and so I had no choice. 1.7057 0.01770 1838 879 621 338
47 It looked bigger online. 1.6922 0.01671 1943 918 705 320
48 ‘You know what? In my bubble we don’t care who is a good boy or not.’ 1.6866 0.01998 1404 682 480 242
49 So, I guess you're new to this pet thing. 1.6844 0.01781 1692 805 616 271
50 Yes, I think you're overprotective about the carpet. 1.6837 0.01793 1685 807 604 274
51 I thought I would try thinking inside the bowl. 1.6828 0.01780 1671 791 619 261
52 We both know this isn’t what I meant when I asked for a new dog bowl. 1.6800 0.01833 1697 842 556 299
53 On second thought, I actually prefer the cone. 1.6720 0.01964 1512 770 468 274
54 How many times do I have to tell you? The cat is a psychopath. 1.6582 0.02180 1264 669 358 237
55 You’ve conflated the metaphors of “being in the doghouse” and “living in a fishbowl.” 1.6580 0.02170 1263 665 365 233
56 You told me to not drink out of the toilet! 1.6575 0.02069 1279 644 429 206
57 At first I just wanted a sip of water, then things got out of hand. 1.6566 0.02140 1197 604 400 193
58 You could have just said 'Stay.' 1.6533 0.02166 1194 613 382 199
59 I'm a terrierarium. 1.6434 0.02406 1001 532 294 175
60 Not until you test negative! 1.6429 0.02363 1022 539 309 174
61 I'm Airbnbing the doghouse. 1.6426 0.02410 971 509 300 162
62 I'm actually more concerned about the fish you put in my crate. 1.6419 0.02423 997 534 286 177
63 You win! I'll wear the cone! 1.6396 0.02278 1060 551 340 169
64 Forgive me for asking, but have you ever had a pet before? 1.6387 0.02284 1121 603 320 198
65 Your kids are going to realize that I'm not the same goldfish. 1.6370 0.02587 909 501 237 171
66 Let's just agree that mistakes were made and figure out where to go from here. 1.6304 0.02263 1039 539 345 155
67 Sure, you figured out I ate the goldfish. But tell me, what did I do with the water? 1.6279 0.02541 860 458 264 138
68 Good luck trying to get the fish to catch the frisbee. 1.6263 0.02599 843 456 246 141
69 Ironically, I feel like a fish out of water. 1.6258 0.02623 783 412 252 119
70 You always say not from the toilet. 1.6217 0.02406 933 495 296 142
71 It's a house swap. The goldfish is in your favorite chair. 1.6199 0.02616 792 422 249 121
72 Shortly after getting the dogfish home, Ronald began to suspect the pet store staff might have played a prank on him. 1.6197 0.02559 831 444 259 128
73 I want to speak with my lawyer. 1.6178 0.02616 934 545 201 188
74 It was gone when I got here. 1.6160 0.02572 810 432 257 121
75 It's just not worth it without the snow. 1.6129 0.02806 682 366 214 102
76 The cat ate the fish, I ate the cat, and now I’m too fat to get out. 1.6093 0.02630 814 450 232 132
77 But the cat told me if I would jump in and give him the fish, he'd tell me where the bones were buried. 1.6074 0.02747 726 397 217 112
78 I was in the mood for sushi. 1.6070 0.02863 654 354 203 97
79 When the ad said the dog came with its own dog bowl, this was not what Ted expected. 1.6044 0.02777 728 405 206 117
80 You should be more surprised that I can talk. 1.6034 0.03268 527 294 148 85
81 I specifically said 'dog bowl'. This is the last time I ask Alexa to order me anything. 1.5994 0.02946 659 373 177 109
82 No, I don't need plastic coral. I need a bush—badly. 1.5982 0.02849 662 364 200 98
83 If you take me for a walk I will grant you three wishes. 1.5968 0.03127 563 314 162 87
84 This is your idea of an invisible fence? 1.5918 0.03131 534 293 166 75
85 I'm not coming out until you get vaccinated. 1.5892 0.03258 555 324 135 96
86 I take it you've never owned a dog before? 1.5891 0.03193 533 299 154 80
87 Yeah....the goldfish is not at home right now, can I take a message ? 1.5886 0.03184 542 306 153 83
88 If you help me get out of here, I’ll tell you where the fish are. 1.5858 0.02933 618 345 184 89
89 What did you expect, a snow scene? 1.5840 0.02951 601 334 183 84
90 Did the fishes enjoy their walk? 1.5836 0.03048 586 332 166 88
91 The good news is that I stopped the cat from eating the goldfish. 1.5824 0.02987 534 285 187 62
92 On second thought, I like the crate. 1.5810 0.03223 525 299 147 79
93 On the other hand it's got a lot of light and a panoramic view. 1.5797 0.02938 552 296 192 64
94 I used the water to wash it down. 1.5785 0.03059 567 320 166 81
95 You wouldn't believe the stuff that goldfish was saying about you.... I had to put a stop to it. 1.5784 0.03140 536 302 158 76
96 Timmy, go get Schrödinger. There's been a terrible mistake. 1.5717 0.03113 530 298 161 71
97 Don’t just stand there, Timmy - run and get help! 1.5708 0.03423 487 288 120 79
98 Alex could no longer ignore the signs that Fido identified as a goldfish. 1.5677 0.03021 613 361 156 96
99 You bet the cat was involved! 1.5662 0.03132 551 320 150 81
100 I was just very thirsty. Okay,hungry too. 1.5642 0.03270 475 269 144 62
101 I just need my own space for awhile. 1.5642 0.03279 452 251 147 54
102 Well, it's been interesting getting another pet's point of view. 1.5579 0.03182 432 232 159 41
103 What fish...? 1.5567 0.03524 406 232 122 52
104 I’m house sitting for the goldfish while he’s on vacation. 1.5556 0.03389 441 253 131 57
105 First pet? 1.5553 0.03421 425 242 130 53
106 What's cultural appropriation? 1.5465 0.03467 441 262 117 62
107 Fetch? Roll over? I heard 'fish bowl Rover' ...my bad! 1.5461 0.03517 423 250 115 58
108 Let's face it. This is how it's going to be if you won't wear a mask. 1.5446 0.03385 437 254 128 55
109 I’m guessing I’m your first puppy. 1.5445 0.03488 393 224 124 45
110 I didn't have an exit strategy. 1.5431 0.03502 418 246 117 55
111 This is what happens when you’re gone all day. 1.5423 0.03260 437 247 143 47
112 I was very thirsty… then I got hungry. 1.5423 0.03607 402 239 108 55
113 A dog,genie and a goldfish walk into a bar 1.5419 0.03428 430 252 123 55
114 Will you do the upside down thing to make it snow again? 1.5418 0.03274 491 293 130 68
115 Ever consider that you might be living in some giant fish bowl too 1.5401 0.03513 424 253 113 58
116 At least if it was a snow globe there'd be something to do. 1.5390 0.03626 397 237 106 54
117 Don't just stand there! The cat is getting away with your goldfish! 1.5381 0.03374 420 242 130 48
118 I found Nemo. 1.5378 0.03813 357 213 96 48
119 I suppose now you're going to flush me down the toilet. 1.5358 0.03572 405 242 109 54
120 I only drank the water. The cat got the fish. 1.5340 0.03641 412 253 98 61
121 I agree with you. Wild-caught tastes better. 1.5321 0.03537 389 228 115 46
122 You're out of fish. 1.5307 0.03596 375 220 111 44
123 I could use a little castle, maybe with a fire hydrant. 1.5304 0.03379 428 252 125 51
124 Now I really want to go outside. 1.5303 0.03367 413 239 129 45
125 That goldfish was never your best friend. Did he take long walks with you? Chase your tennis balls? Love you unconditionally? I don't think so. 1.5293 0.03687 376 226 101 49
126 I'm your first dog, aren't I? 1.5286 0.03721 384 235 95 54
127 I'm house-sitting while Nemo is on vacation at the shore. 1.5275 0.03762 345 204 100 41
128 If it starts snowing in here I'm busting out. 1.5259 0.03387 424 251 123 50
129 Sit? Seriously? Does it look like I have space to do anything else? 1.5259 0.03615 386 232 105 49
130 I told you the cat was evil. 1.5259 0.03707 386 237 95 54
131 You REALLY DO look thinner from here 1.5236 0.03510 382 224 116 42
132 I’m house-sitting for the goldfish while he auditions for ‘Finding Nemo 3’ 1.5234 0.03972 321 194 86 41
133 How would I know where your fish is? 1.5225 0.03888 333 201 90 42
134 Curiosity doesn't kill dogs, but it puts us in the occasional awkward situation. 1.5192 0.04298 287 178 69 40
135 It was delicious. It’s gone. Get over it. 1.5186 0.04290 295 185 67 43
136 Yes, I realize the optics aren’t good here. 1.5175 0.03743 342 204 99 39
137 You said there would be snow. 1.5159 0.03964 314 190 86 38
138 I think I would actually prefer the cone. 1.5151 0.03990 332 207 79 46
139 Well, it’s Tuesday, so he’ll be at his swimming lesson 1.5123 0.03873 324 196 90 38
140 Yes, Dave. You’re still tripping. 1.5110 0.04182 317 203 66 48
141 I identify as a fish now. 1.5099 0.04219 304 193 67 44
142 You people have got to stop...I mean a Labraguppie? 1.5093 0.04155 322 207 66 49
143 OK, I take it back. My little house out back is not a 'hovel.' 1.5079 0.03834 317 190 93 34
144 I can see that you have questions. 1.5070 0.03729 355 218 94 43
145 I'm what you'd call a terrierium. 1.5065 0.04055 310 193 77 40
146 I’m just housesitting. 1.5063 0.03884 320 195 88 37
147 Your goldfish is still in this fishbowl,in a manner of speaking 1.5032 0.03808 314 188 94 32
148 Living in a fishbowl is a metaphor? Now you tell me? 1.5016 0.03968 319 199 80 40
149 I’ll see you in hell. 1.5000 0.04145 330 217 61 52
150 I'm coming out when you get vaccinated 1.4965 0.04218 284 179 69 36
151 The tiny home trend has gone too far. 1.4941 0.04325 253 156 69 28
152 Let’s just be honest with each other. You wanted a goldfish, and I wanted a lesbian couple in Park Slope. 1.4930 0.04420 284 187 54 43
153 I'll still need to be walked. 1.4928 0.04248 276 174 68 34
154 Goldie and I are house-swapping for the holidays. 1.4921 0.04384 254 159 65 30
155 Any chance of getting me a little fire hydrant? 1.4920 0.04399 250 156 65 29
156 I know. I can't explain it either. 1.4914 0.04055 291 181 77 33
157 It's just until you start wearing a mask. 1.4895 0.04225 286 183 66 37
158 Yes, that's right: you just walked the goldfish. 1.4892 0.04099 323 212 64 47
159 Check the birdcage for the cat who ate the canary. 1.4889 0.03690 315 189 98 28
160 I’m a Goldfish Retriever. 1.4888 0.04245 268 168 69 31
161 You win, I'll just wear the cone collar. 1.4880 0.04399 250 157 64 29
162 I just hope you remembered to walk the fish. 1.4878 0.04262 246 150 72 24
163 last thing I can remember was chasing the cat 1.4867 0.03964 300 187 80 33
164 This isn’t the water bowl I asked for. 1.4830 0.03831 323 203 84 36
165 What? I was thirsty! And, um…hungry. 1.4820 0.03971 278 170 82 26
166 ...and sometimes the ball catches you. 1.4808 0.04167 260 161 73 26
167 But you were happy when I ate the mouse 1.4806 0.04046 283 177 76 30
168 Try and clip my claws now! 1.4800 0.04287 250 156 68 26
169 Sorry, but I was hungry AND thirsty. 1.4799 0.04218 273 174 67 32
170 And you say you “rescued” me? 1.4792 0.04212 265 167 69 29
171 The cat has your fish and your car keys 1.4791 0.04145 311 206 61 44
172 I know how this looks but the cat set me up! 1.4774 0.04298 243 151 68 24
173 Still bigger than that studio apartment in New York we had. 1.4774 0.03974 287 179 79 29
174 Please don't shake it. I hate the snow. 1.4773 0.04291 264 169 64 31
175 I'm staying in here until I see your vaccination card. 1.4770 0.04137 283 181 69 33
176 Well, I didn't totally think it through. 1.4769 0.03946 260 156 84 20
177 I'm more worried about the goldfish out in my dog house. 1.4762 0.04224 252 157 70 25
178 A cone would have sufficed. 1.4760 0.04397 250 160 61 29
179 I should have gone for the canary. 1.4757 0.04155 267 168 71 28
180 Don't give me that look. I told you I was tired of fish from a can. 1.4724 0.04236 254 160 68 26
181 Think of it as Schrödinger's fish. 1.4719 0.04320 267 174 60 33
182 This isn't what I meant when I said 'I'm happiest when my bowl is full' 1.4715 0.04449 246 159 58 29
183 My sphere of influence was never really that big anyway 1.4706 0.04442 238 152 60 26
184 I'm not the one who tested positive. 1.4700 0.04889 217 144 44 29
185 Your body,your choice,but no more petting until you’re vaccinated. 1.4699 0.04372 249 160 61 28
186 You're really new to the pet-keeping game, aren't you? 1.4694 0.04191 245 152 71 22
187 Listen, Ted, if you'd rather have a different pet then just say so. 1.4686 0.03847 303 191 82 30
188 I'm sensing you're not a dog person. 1.4685 0.04198 254 160 69 25
189 Either walk me or clean it. 1.4680 0.04487 203 124 63 16
190 Don't look so surprised. Aren't we all living in a fish bowl? 1.4669 0.04308 242 153 65 24
191 You think I could get a fire hydrant in here? 1.4669 0.04187 242 150 71 21
192 I took care of your catfish. 1.4669 0.03822 272 165 87 20
193 Amazon really shouldn’t list these as ‘dog bowls’ 1.4667 0.04295 255 164 63 28
194 This is a dream. In the real world I threw up in your shoes. 1.4664 0.04306 268 176 59 33
195 Puppy... guppy… Whatever. 1.4650 0.04215 243 152 69 22
196 Well, of course it smells like wet dog in here. 1.4639 0.04232 263 170 64 29
197 Let me guess. I’m your first pet. 1.4632 0.03864 285 178 82 25
198 You shouldn't have eaten that brownie, Dave. 1.4627 0.04184 255 162 68 25
199 When you get vaccinated I will come out, now do me a favor and step back a bit will ya? 1.4623 0.04697 212 137 52 23
200 And you thought those little ships were hard to figure out. 1.4618 0.04295 249 160 63 26
201 At first I was only going to have a sip of water and maybe one fish..... 1.4618 0.04218 249 158 67 24
202 I'm thinking outside the box. 1.4618 0.04103 262 166 71 25
203 It gets worse. The beta took your car keys. 1.4609 0.04886 243 171 32 40
204 The neighbors will still hear me. 1.4608 0.04663 217 141 52 24
205 Look deeply into the crystal ball... You see a good boy, a very good boy in your future. 1.4595 0.04540 222 143 56 23
206 I'm staying here until you've had your second shot. 1.4593 0.04408 246 161 57 28
207 More fish and water, please. 1.4590 0.04396 244 159 58 27
208 I can explain about the fish. 1.4575 0.04882 212 142 43 27
209 So, on the plus side, no need to worry about feeding that fish. 1.4568 0.04291 243 156 63 24
210 This is not the kind of dog bowl I asked for 1.4554 0.04534 213 136 57 20
211 I over heard you say ‘why do I have a dog and a goldfish ?’ ...’Problem solved’. 1.4549 0.04382 233 150 60 23
212 It was the cat. She ate the fish too. And chewed your shoes. 1.4549 0.04218 255 165 64 26
213 I don't think this is what she meant when she told you to buy me a new bowl 1.4526 0.04693 190 120 54 16
214 I'll come out when you've had your shots. 1.4524 0.04774 210 139 47 24
215 It's a long story, but I could still be your best friend. 1.4523 0.03847 283 179 80 24
216 Isn’t it funny how you get so thirsty after eating fish? 1.4520 0.04315 250 164 59 27
217 Getting in was easy. 1.4512 0.04404 215 136 61 18
218 On second thought, I'll go for the leash. 1.4500 0.04011 260 165 73 22
219 I know this looks fishy! 1.4498 0.04692 209 137 50 22
220 Peter, maybe you should look at your life and ask yourself the same question. 1.4495 0.04642 218 144 50 24
221 The game got out of hand: the cat went in after the fish and I went in after the cat. 1.4494 0.04390 247 164 55 28
222 I don't think the fish is the big issue right now. 1.4493 0.04759 227 155 42 30
223 You might as well return the invisible fence. 1.4490 0.04702 196 126 52 18
224 So the cat said, "I bet you can't get in there." And well you can guess the rest. 1.4490 0.04812 196 128 48 20
225 So, he says, if you think it’s boring watching me, let’s switch places. 1.4483 0.04476 232 153 54 25
226 The cat knows this really cool bar trick. 1.4477 0.04298 239 155 61 23
227 Does the bowl make me look fat? 1.4459 0.04623 222 148 49 25
228 House sitting... why do you ask? 1.4459 0.04362 231 150 59 22
229 Actually, I prefer a leash. 1.4450 0.04578 200 128 55 17
230 The cat dared me. 1.4439 0.05091 187 126 39 22
231 I’m thinking maybe you’re not ready for a pet. 1.4432 0.05132 185 125 38 22
232 On second thought, the leash is fine. 1.4431 0.04208 246 160 63 23
233 So just exactly what was your "third, and last, wish?" 1.4428 0.04668 201 131 51 19
234 Won't lie, it is exactly what it looks like." 1.4421 0.04622 233 159 45 29
235 I will come out when you vaccinate 1.4418 0.04247 249 164 60 25
236 I'll come out as soon as you're vaccinated. 1.4414 0.04440 222 145 56 21
237 I don’t know how we’re going do our walks now either, Doug. I haven’t figured out all the details, I just feel like I need this change. 1.4410 0.04430 229 151 55 23
238 Phishing 1.4404 0.05025 193 131 39 23
239 When you bark at trick or treaters, make sure one of them isn’t a real witch. 1.4398 0.04954 191 128 42 21
240 What can I say, I was both thirsty and hungry 1.4389 0.04360 221 143 59 19
241 It's how I identify. From now on call me Wanda. 1.4387 0.04638 212 141 49 22
242 Carl wondered if he should have opened the bag and checked his order before leaving the pet shop. 1.4378 0.04894 185 122 45 18
243 I don't know. I was just following the cat. 1.4369 0.04529 222 148 51 23
244 Watch out, there's a goldfish on the loose with supernatural powers! 1.4368 0.04971 190 128 41 21
245 In order to fetch the ball, I must become the ball. 1.4361 0.04499 227 152 51 24
246 Ask the cat. 1.4348 0.04412 230 153 54 23
247 The goldfish has gone to a farm upstate, let’s say. 1.4348 0.04726 184 119 50 15
248 I know you ordered a catfish but there were supply chain issues. 1.4346 0.04555 214 142 51 21
249 I lost a bet with the fish. You'll be walking him to the park now. 1.4344 0.04763 221 153 40 28
250 The toilet seat was down. 1.4342 0.05497 152 102 34 16
251 I have discovered that I self identify as a goldfish. 1.4333 0.05291 180 125 32 23
252 I'm actually talking to you, and all you can ask is how I got in here? 1.4327 0.04845 208 143 40 25
253 Never make a bet with a turtle. 1.4322 0.04957 199 137 38 24
254 Please don't make it snow again. 1.4321 0.04278 243 162 57 24
255 Alexa; I said a dog-bowl, not a dog in a bowl! 1.4317 0.04539 227 154 48 25
256 That fish isn't as dumb as he looks. 1.4309 0.04778 181 118 48 15
257 I don't know, Jim. How'd you get inside that sweater this morning? Everyone's a critic. 1.4302 0.05021 172 114 42 16
258 What, are you kidding? Of course I want to go out! 1.4301 0.04741 193 128 47 18
259 Don't look at me like that, just call the fire department. 1.4300 0.04297 207 132 61 14
260 If you are looking for the fish, it is inside the cat. 1.4293 0.04747 205 139 44 22
261 I thought there would be snow in here 1.4286 0.04409 203 131 57 15
262 This is not what I meant when I said that I needed a new dog bowl. 1.4286 0.04436 231 156 51 24
263 It's an immersive experience. 1.4279 0.04289 229 151 58 20
264 I will come out when you are fully vaccinated! 1.4278 0.04834 194 131 43 20
265 I told you, I’ll come out when you get vaccinated. 1.4272 0.04517 213 142 51 20
266 Norm comes to the quiet realization that the dogfish he recently purchased is more dog than fish. 1.4270 0.05025 178 120 40 18
267 Ok. I have a drinking problem. 1.4256 0.04976 195 135 37 23
268 You made your point. I'll stop licking your face. 1.4254 0.04117 228 147 65 16
269 Not until you're fully vaxxed... 1.4252 0.04596 214 145 47 22
270 Treat, please. This is my best trick ever. 1.4250 0.04882 200 138 39 23
271 What? I was thirsty after I ate the fish. 1.4242 0.05097 165 110 40 15
272 Please don't shake me again 1.4224 0.04157 232 152 62 18
273 Don't ask. 1.4208 0.04186 240 160 59 21
274 Ball", Terry. I said I wanted a ball 1.4208 0.04796 183 122 45 16
275 Well, I'm not sure the Goldfish is too happy in my Litterbox 1.4205 0.04527 195 128 52 15
276 You think THIS is weird? Wait until you see a giant goldfish chasing a squirrel in the back yard! 1.4201 0.05007 169 113 41 15
277 I hope one of us is dreaming. 1.4199 0.05020 181 124 38 19
278 it's not a criticism, I just wonder if you are really a dog person. 1.4195 0.04835 174 115 45 14
279 No, a dog water bowl is very, very different. 1.4195 0.04235 236 158 57 21
280 I don’t know..have you checked the bathtub? 1.4192 0.04591 198 132 49 17
281 I tried the bathroom first, but the lid was down. 1.4182 0.04359 220 147 54 19
282 Sorry. I was thirsty, then I saw a snack. 1.4182 0.04944 165 109 43 13
283 Well it’s not like you turned out as expected either. 1.4181 0.04974 177 120 40 17
284 What, building a ship in a bottle wasn't good enough for you? 1.4180 0.04295 244 167 52 25
285 On the plus side, you don't have to change the water or watch them float to the top. 1.4177 0.05175 158 106 38 14
286 Damn goldfish took my collar too. 1.4175 0.04515 206 138 50 18
287 Cancel my Vet appointment or you'll never see the fish again. 1.4171 0.05269 175 123 31 21
288 You might have noticed something was wrong when you were out walking the goldfish. 1.4170 0.04499 223 153 47 23
289 The fish took the water when they left. 1.4167 0.05095 168 114 38 16
290 It’s been 45 minutes since we ate the LSD, I still don’t feel anything. 1.4167 0.04599 204 138 47 19
291 The cat told me to wait here. 1.4167 0.04651 204 139 45 20
292 Look, you're upset. I know. But I just drank twice my weight in water so can you let me outside for a minute before we talk? 1.4156 0.04936 154 100 44 10
293 What fish? I ate the cat. 1.4155 0.04649 219 153 41 25
294 Think for a second: where's your fish? 1.4155 0.05311 142 94 37 11
295 When you said you were getting me a new dog bowl... 1.4154 0.04522 195 129 51 15
296 You really need to decide. Do you want a fish or a best friend? 1.4152 0.05029 171 116 39 16
297 What'd you expect, Frank? I'm a dogfish. 1.4145 0.04841 193 133 40 20
298 Let’s start by recognizing that your cat is evil and smarter than me. 1.4140 0.04734 186 125 45 16
299 At least I know that I live in a bubble. You, Mr. White Male Privilege, don't have a clue. 1.4138 0.04665 203 139 44 20
300 The lack of privacy is probably the worst part. 1.4134 0.04734 179 119 46 14
301 I rented the bowl from a goldfish on Air bnb” 1.4128 0.05073 172 118 37 17
302 Look at it this way, you no longer need to protect the fish from the cat. 1.4121 0.05085 165 112 38 15
303 Just don't ask me to roll over. 1.4103 0.04745 195 134 42 19
304 I don't think you're ready for kids. 1.4101 0.05196 178 126 31 21
305 Dog bowl. How did you get this so wrong? 1.4101 0.05009 178 123 37 18
306 Yeah, you were pretty wasted last night … 1.4099 0.04462 222 153 47 22
307 Let me guess... you've got the fish on a leash. 1.4097 0.05435 144 98 33 13
308 He identifies himself as a fish 1.4095 0.04322 232 159 51 22
309 Y'know what I'd really like? Maybe go to the park, chase a ball or somethin'...that's what I'd really like. 1.4089 0.04608 203 139 45 19
310 Make it snow 1.4087 0.04424 208 140 51 17
311 I had to socially distance. 1.4085 0.04723 164 107 47 10
312 A fish you say. Gold, all kinds of frilly crap dangling from him, kinda full of himself? No, haven't seen him. 1.4084 0.04872 191 133 38 20
313 After trying on his new prescription glasses, Albert made a horrifying realization. 1.4080 0.04823 174 117 43 14
314 If you wanted a fish, why didn't you just get a fish? 1.4076 0.04764 184 125 43 16
315 This isn't what I had in mind when I requested a new bowl. 1.4071 0.04312 226 154 52 20
316 Yeah I...I don't know where Nemo is either. I was looking for him in here. 1.4068 0.04628 177 117 48 12
317 It has much nicer windows than my old doghouse 1.4065 0.05314 155 107 33 15
318 Panoramic views and the sushi's divine 1.4062 0.04738 192 132 42 18
319 The MINUTE the landlord leaves, you let me outta this thing and I get to be a dog again. 1.4056 0.05722 143 101 26 16
320 Maybe they thought you said Puppy rather than Guppy? 1.4056 0.05457 143 98 32 13
321 The fish eats better than I do, so I ate the fish. 1.4055 0.04626 217 153 40 24
322 Please, stop asking, just go get the hammer. 1.4054 0.04412 222 153 48 21
323 Look, let me out. I understand now why butt-dragging on the carpet is wrong. 1.4052 0.05200 153 104 36 13
324 It started with one paw in the water and then things got out of hand. 1.4051 0.04921 158 105 42 11
325 We need to talk about what you’re feeding me. 1.4050 0.04544 200 136 47 17
326 If you let me out, I promise to go on the stupid paper. 1.4043 0.04808 188 130 40 18
327 It made sense when the cat explained it, but now ... 1.4040 0.05162 151 102 37 12
328 I need to go out. 1.4037 0.05091 161 110 37 14
329 It's not what it looks like. 1.4035 0.04948 171 117 39 15
330 Just promise me when I die,you won’t flush me down the toilet. 1.4035 0.05085 171 119 35 17
331 I’m still your Goldie, I just realized I was born trans-species. 1.4031 0.04694 191 131 43 17
332 I know. I promised to stop after the canary. 1.4031 0.04810 191 133 39 19
333 I'll come out when you show me you've had your shots. 1.4021 0.04728 189 130 42 17
334 You're not the only one who loves sushi. 1.4013 0.05135 152 103 37 12
335 Am I a dog dreaming that I'm a fish, or a fish dreaming that I'm a dog? 1.4013 0.05411 157 111 29 17
336 First of all, John, only a closed-minded person would assume that a fishbowl is no place for a dog. Also, yes, I ate the fish. 1.4012 0.05065 162 111 37 14
337 The new guy at the pet store misunderstood when you said guppy. 1.4011 0.04883 187 131 37 19
338 Rupert was beginning to think something was fishy about the dogfish the pet store sold him. 1.4000 0.05335 160 113 30 17
339 Let me out. I gotta pee. 1.4000 0.04795 175 119 42 14
340 Please don't tell me to roll over. 1.4000 0.04920 185 130 36 19
341 I’ll come out when you’re masked. 1.4000 0.04708 190 131 42 17
342 I know you really miss Goldie, but this just isn't working for me. 1.4000 0.04465 190 127 50 13
343 This is bowlshit! 1.4000 0.05754 150 109 22 19
344 What do you say we get a new pet sitter? 1.3990 0.04703 203 143 39 21
345 We’re out of catfish. 1.3989 0.04559 188 127 47 14
346 When I told you to get a dog bowl I didn't mean this. 1.3989 0.04836 183 127 39 17
347 The cat promised me a treat. 1.3989 0.04669 178 120 45 13
348 It's called quarantining! What do you think it was. 1.3981 0.04264 211 142 54 15
349 Good luck finding Nemo,Jerry. 1.3976 0.05047 166 115 36 15
350 The story about kissing a frog ... it's a scam. 1.3975 0.04849 161 108 42 11
351 I hated that you liked him better than me. 1.3974 0.04698 156 102 46 8
352 I'd rather be kept on a short leash. 1.3967 0.04625 184 125 45 14
353 I'm the victim here. 1.3966 0.04846 179 124 39 16
354 And I suppose you walked the fish. 1.3965 0.04333 227 158 48 21
355 Can we go to the fish park? 1.3961 0.05246 154 107 33 14
356 I’m still a good boy, right? 1.3961 0.05326 154 108 31 15
357 He’s in a better place. 1.3961 0.04997 154 104 39 11
358 Teacup dogs are so 2019. 1.3955 0.04818 177 122 40 15
359 Luke, I'm your father. 1.3953 0.05054 172 121 34 17
360 I won't come out until you put the mask back on! 1.3951 0.05207 162 114 32 16
361 Never owned a dog before eh? 1.3939 0.04991 165 114 37 14
362 I feel like a fish out of water. 1.3939 0.05064 165 115 35 15
363 Not exactly the dog bowl I had in mind. 1.3933 0.04453 178 118 50 10
364 What? You told me not to drink out of the toilet! 1.3931 0.04894 173 120 38 15
365 I told you he was too young for a magic set. 1.3926 0.05032 163 113 36 14
366 The fish are in the dog house. 1.3926 0.05032 163 113 36 14
367 Yes, I'm a terrier--but this is no terrarium. 1.3925 0.04892 186 132 35 19
368 I evolved. 1.3923 0.04866 181 127 37 17
369 You get best in show and suddenly you’re living in a fishbowl 1.3923 0.04929 181 128 35 18
370 Carl realized his mistake after dropping Goldie off at the vet to be neutered. 1.3920 0.04869 199 144 32 23
371 Don't look at me like that...He bit me first! 1.3916 0.05704 143 103 24 16
372 I'm cis dog, but I identify as goldfish." 1.3916 0.05039 166 116 35 15
373 Yeah, trust me I get it, I used to live in Brooklyn 1.3915 0.04498 212 149 43 20
374 It was a classic case of bait and switch! 1.3910 0.05348 156 111 29 16
375 Sorry, I thought you said "who's a good koi?" 1.3909 0.04852 197 142 33 22
376 What, you've never seen a dog bowl? 1.3905 0.05044 169 119 34 16
377 ...how long is the time-out this time? 1.3904 0.05444 146 103 29 14
378 I’m a puppy, not a guppy! 1.3901 0.04452 182 122 49 11
379 True. But you can't take a goldfish for a walk. 1.3897 0.04493 195 134 46 15
380 We're house swapping. 1.3895 0.04325 190 127 52 11
381 Well it got rid of my hiccups 1.3892 0.04794 167 114 41 12
382 The pet store thought you said puppy, not guppy. 1.3889 0.04620 180 123 44 13
383 It's their day off. 1.3886 0.04404 193 131 49 13
384 Be honest. Does this bowl make me look fat? 1.3885 0.05242 157 111 31 15
385 I drank all the water to get at the damn fish... now I gotta pee. Can you get me outa here? 1.3883 0.04669 188 131 41 16
386 I know this looks bad, but I swear it was the cat that ate Mr. Goldengills. 1.3876 0.05537 129 89 30 10
387 Two reasons: hunger and thirst. 1.3875 0.05169 160 113 32 15
388 Shouldn't you be walking the fish? 1.3873 0.05640 142 102 25 15
389 But make it a snow globe and I'm out of here 1.3873 0.04747 173 119 41 13
390 After the fish, I was a bit thirsty. 1.3871 0.04702 155 103 44 8
391 I think you got the wrong kind of dog bowl. 1.3869 0.05408 137 95 31 11
392 Look, we can either solve the mystery of who ate Larry the goldfish or we can solve the mystery of how to get me out of here. 1.3867 0.04731 181 126 40 15
393 It was like this when I got here." 1.3864 0.05118 132 88 37 7
394 You realize I'll grow to whatever bowl I'm in, right? 1.3862 0.04713 145 95 44 6
395 How about a small fire hydrant? 1.3861 0.04977 158 109 37 12
396 My cardiologist said I need more fish in my diet. 1.3861 0.05137 158 111 33 14
397 Do you remember the story of Jonah? It's like that, only different. 1.3858 0.05595 127 88 29 10
398 I was both thirsty and hungry. 1.3857 0.04923 140 93 40 7
399 Yeah, well, you never asked how the ship got in the bottle. 1.3855 0.04808 166 114 40 12
400 When you named me Nemo, I wasn’t expecting this. 1.3851 0.04654 174 119 43 12
401 You think I'M the one that's trapped?!? 1.3846 0.04936 156 107 38 11
402 I swear, I've been vaccinated. 1.3846 0.04894 169 118 37 14
403 It doesn’t look right, because it isn’t right. 1.3846 0.05337 143 100 31 12
404 Hey, honest mistake, but I'm in the toy group, not the koi group. 1.3838 0.04772 198 143 34 21
405 It protects me from the cat. 1.3838 0.04779 185 131 37 17
406 Sorry, I don't know where the fish and cat went. 1.3837 0.04761 172 119 40 13
407 Go ahead,you can say it… I’m a dogfish. Now can you get me outta here please! 1.3833 0.04679 180 125 41 14
408 The goldfish are out in the back yard chasing a tennis ball. 1.3829 0.05169 175 128 27 20
409 Real funny, Hank. This is NOT what I meant when I requested a bigger dog bowl. 1.3827 0.05041 162 114 34 14
410 You're head looks bigger from in here. 1.3826 0.05682 149 110 21 18
411 Are you done vacuuming? 1.3819 0.04533 199 140 42 17
412 You haven't changed my water for weeks. 1.3818 0.04746 165 113 41 11
413 It's a terrierium. 1.3817 0.05781 131 94 24 13
414 But enough about me. How're the fish doing in the backyard? 1.3813 0.04764 160 109 41 10
415 Every dog has his dais. 1.3813 0.05528 160 119 21 20
416 Still best friends? 1.3810 0.05317 147 104 30 13
417 Would you please get Mom? 1.3810 0.04393 189 129 48 12
418 Tell me you're not going to flush me in a month. 1.3810 0.04954 147 100 38 9
419 He double dared me. 1.3806 0.05484 134 94 29 11
420 It turns out that I’m a pescatarian.” 1.3798 0.05946 129 94 21 14
421 What if I PROMISE to stop peeing on the carpet. 1.3798 0.05633 129 91 27 11
422 I see a sizable carpet stain in your future. 1.3795 0.04949 166 117 35 14
423 “Don’t you get it? This is a crystal ball. I’m the only dead relative who is eager to see you.” 1.3795 0.04949 166 117 35 14
424 I think this falls into the category of "willing to do anything for a treat." 1.3793 0.04717 174 121 40 13
425 The goldfish are working remotely today. 1.3791 0.05080 153 107 34 12
426 So let me recapture: you left Goldie at the vet to be spayed? 1.3786 0.05409 140 99 29 12
427 I much preferred the cone, Bill. 1.3786 0.05313 140 98 31 11
428 You really cut corners with this doghouse. 1.3785 0.04590 177 122 43 12
429 tastes like chicken 1.3776 0.05233 143 100 32 11
430 You look puzzled about why I'm here. How do you think I feel? 1.3774 0.05178 159 114 30 15
431 What? You never did anything stupid? 1.3767 0.05336 146 104 29 13
432 I saw it on Tik Tok. 1.3765 0.04642 170 117 42 11
433 The cat and the fish are now working as a team…consider yourself warned! 1.3758 0.05257 149 106 30 13
434 Now you are going to have to walk the fish 1.3758 0.05592 149 110 22 17
435 Darn, you found me. 1.3750 0.04650 152 102 43 7
436 I lost a bet. 1.3742 0.05006 163 116 33 14
437 Well you wanted a goldfishdoodle 1.3741 0.05429 139 99 28 12
438 I imagine you have questions, but first, I really need to get to a litterbox. 1.3741 0.05333 139 98 30 11
439 You have not fed me in a week. You only think about yourself. I was hungry. It's that simple. 1.3740 0.05666 131 94 25 12
440 The cat lied. 1.3734 0.05424 158 117 23 18
441 There's a couple of urgent messages on the machine, from the pet shop and the optometrist. 1.3725 0.05154 153 109 31 13
442 Yes it was worth it. 1.3725 0.05154 153 109 31 13
443 I am both claustrophobic and agoraphobic at the same time. Ask Schrodinger. 1.3723 0.05580 137 99 25 13
444 The evidence is conclusive. It was the cat. 1.3723 0.05384 137 97 29 11
445 I'm a huskie, where's the snow? 1.3718 0.04999 156 110 34 12
446 The goldfish had to run some errands. 1.3718 0.04916 156 109 36 11
447 You live in your bubble,I'll live in mine. 1.3716 0.05188 148 105 31 12
448 And I thought the cone of shame was bad. 1.3711 0.04851 159 111 37 11
449 Wait til you see who's in the dog house out back. 1.3710 0.04340 221 159 42 20
450 Sure, I can roll over -- but only once. 1.3704 0.05538 135 97 26 12
451 You know you still have to walk me ? 1.3694 0.04973 157 111 34 12
452 Really, it's not what it looks like. 1.3694 0.05993 111 79 23 9
453 I'm pitching "Finding Fido" to Pixar 1.3691 0.05159 149 106 31 12
454 No Marvin, I don't grant wishes, but I can chase the squirrels out of your tool shed 1.3687 0.04907 160 113 35 12
455 Honest! Just reach in and rub my tummy. 1.3684 0.05795 133 98 21 14
456 Your eyelids are getting heavy. You're getting sleepy now. You never owned a goldfish. 1.3684 0.05337 152 111 26 15
457 You ordered a dog bowl? 1.3681 0.05284 144 103 29 12
458 You just got catfished. 1.3681 0.05001 144 100 35 9
459 I'll come out when you get your shots. 1.3677 0.05180 155 112 29 14
460 I am not a goldfish. I am a golden retreiver. 1.3676 0.05404 136 97 28 11
461 Me and the fish traded places. Better check the litter box. 1.3675 0.05897 117 84 23 10
462 If Shatner can do it, so can I 1.3675 0.04625 166 115 41 10
463 How was your walk with the fish? 1.3673 0.04835 147 101 38 8
464 Now I know why my barking bothers you 1.3673 0.04619 196 142 36 18
465 The cat dared me, what was I supposed to do? 1.3672 0.04778 177 127 35 15
466 Wow! Your nose looks really big from in here! 1.3669 0.05320 139 99 29 11
467 Why don't you ask the cat? 1.3667 0.04587 180 127 40 13
468 The fish in my cage is doing worse. 1.3665 0.04801 161 113 37 11
469 Actually, I wasn't thrilled about all of those walks 1.3662 0.05239 142 101 30 11
470 Sorry. I was thirsty and the fish was just sort of there. 1.3662 0.05239 142 101 30 11
471 ‘It’s called Method Acting, Greg, look it up’ 1.3662 0.05426 142 103 26 13
472 The cat told me I’d learn something in here. So far, nothing… 1.3661 0.04665 183 131 37 15
473 I need to go outside. 1.3657 0.04606 175 123 40 12
474 I rhyme with guppy 1.3655 0.05344 145 105 27 13
475 You think this is weird? Check out what’s in the litter box. 1.3653 0.04443 167 114 45 8
476 Yeah, the cat ate the goldfish and I ate the cat. 1.3652 0.04756 178 128 35 15
477 So the ship-in-the-bottle project got a tad too daunting? 1.3649 0.04903 148 103 36 9
478 It wasn't easy. 1.3648 0.04921 159 113 34 12
479 I hate to be petty, but are you sure that you've been vaccinated? 1.3646 0.04626 192 139 36 17
480 No, I don't know what happened to the catfish. 1.3643 0.05712 129 94 23 12
481 Look, Frankie - I don't like this any more than you do; but the landlord is on her way, so please just "play fish", okay? 1.3636 0.05016 143 100 34 9
482 I realize now - it was a mistake to bite Merlin. 1.3636 0.04713 187 136 34 17
483 I think both of our glasses are too small. 1.3636 0.04945 165 119 32 14
484 And I maintain that a dogfish is actually a kind of small shark. 1.3636 0.05115 154 111 30 13
485 You’re the one who threw the ball. What was I supposed to do? 1.3631 0.04667 179 128 37 14
486 I'm just as amazed as you are. 1.3631 0.04879 157 111 35 11
487 How did you get out? 1.3624 0.05059 149 106 32 11
488 Never seen a Shep in a bottle? 1.3621 0.05393 116 80 30 6
489 Not much training in dog sitting I presume. 1.3621 0.05664 116 82 26 8
490 You can refer to me as "They'. 1.3619 0.05761 105 73 26 6
491 The sushi was delicious! 1.3618 0.04988 152 108 33 11
492 Are you feeling guilty yet? 1.3617 0.05257 141 101 29 11
493 I don't know. It seemed like a good idea at the time... 1.3616 0.04492 177 124 42 11
494 Did you know your daughter is a witch? 1.3613 0.05814 119 86 23 10
495 You put the goldfish in my water bowl, right? 1.3611 0.04777 180 131 33 16
496 Alexa, I said dog bowl. 1.3611 0.05179 144 103 30 11
497 ET TU CANIS? 1.3609 0.05478 133 96 26 11
498 I know you're mad, but you should be more worried about the fish in the kennel. 1.3609 0.05478 133 96 26 11
499 You promised me snowflakes. 1.3608 0.04770 158 111 37 10
500 If you let me out, I promise not to poop in your shoes ever again. 1.3608 0.04854 158 112 35 11
501 He said I could have his place when he left for the coast. 1.3608 0.04770 158 111 37 10
502 I expected scrutiny, but not life in a fishbowl. 1.3607 0.05590 122 87 26 9
503 But in the end, don’t we all live in some version of a plastic hamster wheel? 1.3605 0.04917 147 103 35 9
504 I identify as a water spaniel. 1.3602 0.04540 161 111 42 8
505 If you can’t eat them, join them. 1.3600 0.04941 150 106 34 10
506 Face it, you're never going to get the hang of dog ownership. 1.3597 0.05207 139 99 30 10
507 This is my metaverse. 1.3597 0.05106 139 98 32 9
508 What, you’ve never seen a Dog Fish? 1.3597 0.05499 139 102 24 13
509 Why, yes, I'd love to go out. 1.3595 0.04784 153 107 37 9
510 you're the owner! You tell me! 1.3593 0.04896 167 121 32 14
511 He traded me this for my bicycle. 1.3590 0.06004 117 86 20 11
512 You said you wanted me to learn new tricks. 1.3590 0.04633 156 108 40 8
513 Got any more fish? 1.3586 0.05149 145 104 30 11
514 On the upside, I won't need dinner tonight... 1.3576 0.04914 151 107 34 10
515 You look like you've never seen a dogfish before. 1.3571 0.04871 168 122 32 14
516 Weren't YOU supposed to be in a bubble? 1.3571 0.05275 140 101 28 11
517 More fish and a little less water this time. 1.3571 0.04646 168 119 38 11
518 Do you realise how ridiculous you look in those glasses? 1.3571 0.05574 126 91 25 10
519 Have you checked the park? 1.3567 0.04867 157 112 34 11
520 Try seeing it from my perspective. 1.3567 0.04951 157 113 32 12
521 This is not what I meant by a dog bowl. 1.3566 0.05472 143 106 23 14
522 Great view but it's not quite right, let's try the birdcage again. 1.3566 0.04801 143 99 37 7
523 I'm not ready to quit socially distancing. 1.3566 0.05195 143 103 29 11
524 I lost a bet with Goldie. 1.3562 0.04532 146 99 42 5
525 I really, really have to pee. 1.3561 0.05498 132 96 25 11
526 I'll come out when you get vaccinated. 1.3559 0.04692 177 128 35 14
527 It's a long story 1.3557 0.04769 149 104 37 8
528 Seems we were wrong about a terrarium being a doghouse for terriers. 1.3556 0.05201 135 96 30 9
529 You are what you eat 1.3554 0.05487 121 86 27 8
530 She should be back Sunday. I'm just bowlsitting." 1.3554 0.05733 121 88 23 10
531 He said I could have 3 wishes. 1.3554 0.05852 121 89 21 11
532 My bowl was empty. 1.3552 0.04449 183 130 41 12
533 Now, let's not jump to conclusions. 1.3551 0.04911 138 96 35 7
534 There are many more fish in the sea 1.3548 0.04529 186 134 38 14
535 The cat and I have come to an agreement 1.3548 0.04907 155 111 33 11
536 You may not have to walk me anymore, but the clean up won't be pretty. 1.3544 0.04842 158 113 34 11
537 Tell the fish he can have my old bowl 1.3542 0.04875 144 101 35 8
538 It was a magic fish and gave the cat three wishes. 1.3540 0.04859 161 116 33 12
539 If you can see me, you ate the wrong mushrooms. 1.3540 0.04697 161 114 37 10
540 Couldn't I just wear a mask? 1.3540 0.05016 161 118 29 14
541 Puppy, guppy: two different things. 1.3540 0.05886 113 82 22 9
542 He was delicious. But now I've got to pee really bad. 1.3538 0.05554 130 95 24 11
543 See, there’s lots of kinds of bowls. This is a fish bowl. What I need is a dog bowl. With dog food in it. 1.3529 0.05063 136 96 32 8
544 I told you that fish was trouble. 1.3529 0.05918 119 88 20 11
545 I'm trying to cut down on red meat. 1.3529 0.04676 170 122 36 12
546 Not quite what I meant when I asked him to pick me up a "new dog bowl". 1.3529 0.05274 136 98 28 10
547 You were giving the fish far too much attention. 1.3529 0.05282 119 83 30 6
548 I really miss your fish,too. 1.3526 0.04458 190 137 39 14
549 Yes, I drank all the water, but I didn’t eat the fish! 1.3526 0.04965 156 113 31 12
550 Not until you vax or mask. 1.3526 0.05288 156 117 23 16
551 I have to go to the bathroom. 1.3525 0.05193 139 100 29 10
552 A better question may be why are you out there? 1.3521 0.05307 142 104 26 12
553 It's less about how I got here and more about the ironies of life. 1.3520 0.05237 125 88 30 7
554 The previous occupant died 1.3520 0.05478 125 90 26 9
555 Frankly I don’t know how I managed to do this either. 1.3520 0.04580 179 129 37 13
556 Yeah,the fish is in the doghouse right now. 1.3517 0.05135 145 105 29 11
557 But can you tell a goldfish to 'Sit'? 1.3515 0.04614 165 117 38 10
558 Dave? Look at me, Dave. Enter the code now, Dave. 1.3515 0.05072 165 123 26 16
559 You promised there would be snow! 1.3512 0.04860 168 123 31 14
560 I'm a terrarium dog. It works on Etsy. 1.3510 0.04717 151 106 37 8
561 Look,Gary,if you wanted a fish,you should have gotten a fish. 1.3507 0.05217 134 96 29 9
562 I couldn't decide whether to go as an astronaut or a goldfish... either way, I could use a hand getting out of here 1.3506 0.05091 154 113 28 13
563 That goldfish is one clever bastard. 1.3503 0.05336 157 119 21 17
564 Our house swap is probably even tougher on Goldie 1.3500 0.04624 160 113 38 9
565 I’m a dog out of water. 1.3500 0.04747 140 97 37 6
566 No, thanks. I just had sushi. But I really need to potty! 1.3500 0.05162 140 101 29 10
567 You’ve got your bubble, I’ve got mine. 1.3497 0.04988 143 102 32 9
568 How would you react if I said I need to go outside? 1.3497 0.04988 143 102 32 9
569 Look, I was really thirsty, and when I was done, I didn't want to leave a fish out of water. 1.3497 0.05182 143 104 28 11
570 They’re walking the goldfish. Can I have some fresh water? 1.3497 0.05276 143 105 26 12
571 Once again - Puppy. Not Guppy. 1.3496 0.05413 123 88 27 8
572 And your wife is now out walking the goldfish! 1.3496 0.05413 123 88 27 8
573 Did you read the instructions? 1.3493 0.05197 146 107 27 12
574 You can try, but this will not stop me from licking myself. 1.3490 0.05210 149 110 26 13
575 See what happens when you don't fill my water dish? 1.3487 0.04962 152 110 31 11
576 The message in the crystal ball was clear, but Herb started to wonder if Maria the Fortune Teller was the same Maria who owned Maria's Pet Store. 1.3487 0.05135 152 112 27 13
577 Where are the snowflakes? 1.3486 0.04503 175 125 39 11
578 Don’t just look at me like that- DO SOMETHING- NOW NOW 1.3481 0.05595 135 101 21 13
579 I told you I could do tricks 1.3476 0.04625 164 117 37 10
580 I believe I’m fully hydrated. 1.3473 0.04408 167 117 42 8
581 Why can't you just get a gold fish? 1.3472 0.05151 144 105 28 11
582 I really have to pee now. 1.3471 0.05211 121 85 30 6
583 I was born a goldfish but as you can see, my transitioning efforts have been nothing short of spectacular. 1.3471 0.04356 170 119 43 8
584 Well, yes, I do feel like a fish out of water. 1.3469 0.04695 147 103 37 7
585 All I wanted was a sip of water, I swear! 1.3469 0.04984 147 106 31 10
586 I don’t care. I still want you to wear a mask near me. 1.3468 0.04822 173 128 30 15
587 Well, the vet DID say I could benefit from a little wet food now and then. 1.3467 0.04729 150 106 36 8
588 I'm avoiding meat these days. 1.3465 0.06361 101 75 17 9
589 Hey, I squeezed in here, now write a winning caption. 1.3465 0.05632 127 94 22 11
590 Is it too late to choose the crate? 1.3465 0.05405 127 92 26 9
591 The snow in this one is yellow. 1.3464 0.05106 153 113 27 13
592 Like neutering wasn't enough?! 1.3462 0.06075 104 76 20 8
593 This may sound strange, but I actually prefer the Cone of Shame. 1.3462 0.05429 130 95 25 10
594 What, you've never seen a dog fish before? 1.3462 0.04516 156 109 40 7
595 Beats me. Maybe check my leash for a giant fish? 1.3462 0.05117 156 116 26 14
596 I’m a Pisces. 1.3462 0.05920 104 75 22 7
597 This isn’t at all like the pictures you posted in GrrrBnB...... 1.3462 0.05429 130 95 25 10
598 And, like, you don't live in a bubble? 1.3459 0.05342 133 97 26 10
599 Until vaccines for dogs. 1.3458 0.05492 107 75 27 5
600 Sorry, but his is as crazy and erotic as your acid trip is going to get. 1.3457 0.04822 162 118 32 12
601 I still can’t take you to work. 1.3457 0.04901 162 119 30 13
602 Ok, so… funny story… 1.3456 0.04937 136 96 33 7
603 Yes, your fish are still in the bowl !! 1.3455 0.05546 110 78 26 6
604 Would you be so kind as to fetch me a stick? 1.3455 0.05839 110 80 22 8
605 When my COVID test results come back, I’m outta here. 1.3451 0.06129 113 85 17 11
606 Ah, there you are! Just have to find the cat and the fish now. 1.3451 0.04798 142 100 35 7
607 The cat dared me to do it. 1.3451 0.05002 142 102 31 9
608 This way neither of us has to wear a face mask. 1.3448 0.05214 145 107 26 12
609 Karma's a bitch. 1.3445 0.05526 119 86 25 8
610 Go fetch yourself. 1.3440 0.05093 125 88 31 6
611 Perhaps this will get you to fill my water bowl 1.3439 0.04926 157 115 30 12
612 You're gonna need a bigger bowl. 1.3438 0.06075 96 69 21 6
613 What's the saying about glass houses and throwing bones? 1.3435 0.05171 131 94 29 8
614 You better check the dog house for Nemo... 1.3435 0.05394 131 96 25 10
615 Ok. If you let me out I’ll get the vaccine. 1.3431 0.04908 137 97 33 7
616 You couldn't try a crate like everybody else? 1.3431 0.05016 137 98 31 8
617 The cat goes after the fish, I go after the cat. What do you want from me anyway! 1.3431 0.05016 137 98 31 8
618 First I got hungry for the fish, then I got thirsty. Now, let me out. 1.3431 0.05016 137 98 31 8
619 There's certainly nothing fishy about this. 1.3427 0.05261 143 106 25 12
620 If you think this is upsetting, I don’t recommend you go out to the doghouse. 1.3427 0.04770 143 101 35 7
621 And then he said....I will be right back. 1.3425 0.04805 146 104 34 8
622 In my defense, you're the one who keeps forgetting to refill my water bowl. 1.3424 0.04057 184 128 49 7
623 It's time to see your eye doctor. I'm not a fish. 1.3423 0.05108 149 110 27 12
624 If you’re wondering the goldfish is in the yard digging holes. 1.3421 0.05822 114 84 21 9
625 Snow globes without snow? It's global warming. 1.3415 0.05394 123 89 26 8
626 Do you realize that saying "Stay Rex, stay" is redundant? 1.3415 0.05636 123 91 22 10
627 What? You've never regretted an impulsive decision? 1.3411 0.05220 129 93 28 8
628 You didn’t believe me when I said I was hungry 1.3407 0.05580 135 102 20 13
629 Get in here where it's safe 1.3407 0.06294 91 66 19 6
630 Try blaming your farts on me now! 1.3406 0.05586 138 105 19 14
631 So...just stating the obvious here... but those weren't sea monkeys the gypsy gave you. 1.3404 0.05016 141 102 30 9
632 I'm finding this very uncomfortable, but I'm more concerned about how the goldfish is doing in the doghouse. 1.3403 0.04357 191 139 39 13
633 "I'm a dogfish. What do you think I am?" 1.3402 0.05841 97 69 23 5
634 Wanna play fetch and release? 1.3400 0.04520 150 105 39 6
635 Let’s try the flea meds again 1.3399 0.04833 153 111 32 10
636 Yes, it was worth it. I've never eaten a live goldfish 1.3397 0.04592 156 111 37 8
637 Yeah the snow's turning yellow. What do you expect?! 1.3397 0.04855 156 114 31 11
638 I HAD to... someone left the toilet seat down! 1.3394 0.05714 109 79 23 7
639 The cat is harmless, you said. The fish are safe, you said. Cats don't get shrink-ray eyes on Halloween, you said. 1.3390 0.05412 118 85 26 7
640 Brian gazed a the crystal ball and wondered if he was getting a little husky. 1.3387 0.05713 124 93 20 11
641 Pet Exchange Program 1.3386 0.05150 127 91 29 7
642 It beats wearing a mask. 1.3385 0.05070 130 93 30 7
643 For years, Tom's modest experiments with rapid evolution bore no discernable results. Then one morning his work took a surprising and exciting turn: his goldfish had spawned a small canine. 1.3381 0.05162 139 102 27 10
644 You look fat. 1.3380 0.05182 142 105 26 11
645 I admit it looks fishy. 1.3377 0.04894 154 113 30 11
646 It was delicious but too moist, 1.3376 0.04829 157 115 31 11
647 If you can hear me, it's time to rethink some of your recent life choices. 1.3374 0.04940 163 122 27 14
648 I don’t know why you’re so confused—they told you at Animal Rescue that I am a water dog…and pescatarian… 1.3372 0.04458 172 124 38 10
649 Can’t wait to see the look on the cats face. 1.3365 0.05895 104 76 21 7
650 OK, I'm sitting. Now what else should I do? 1.3365 0.06051 104 77 19 8
651 New terrierarium. 1.3364 0.05957 110 82 19 9
652 Now, I know it looks fishy, but... 1.3364 0.06364 110 85 13 12
653 To be honest, Professor Schrödinger, I preferred the old version. 1.3361 0.05656 122 91 21 10
654 Oh sorry, I felt like fish tonight 1.3361 0.05155 122 87 29 6
655 The salesman said it was a terrierium. 1.3360 0.05199 125 90 28 7
656 I promise she will not find it as funny as you do. 1.3358 0.05105 137 100 28 9
657 Better to live here than to be a fish out of water. 1.3357 0.05130 140 103 27 10
658 I don't feel like a rescue. 1.3357 0.05029 140 102 29 9
659 The seafood was good, but I'm out of water. 1.3333 0.05150 117 83 29 5
660 Curiosity didn't kill the cat, curiosity caught the cat. 1.3333 0.05746 126 96 18 12
661 This reflects more on you than it does me. 1.3333 0.05291 117 84 27 6
662 The Pup-Guppy marked the beginning of the end of pet hybridization. 1.3333 0.06126 102 76 18 8
663 The cat made me do it. 1.3333 0.05694 117 87 21 9
664 Because you're a covidiot, that's why. 1.3333 0.05631 102 73 24 5
665 Now its just you and me 1.3333 0.05275 102 71 28 3
666 I'm not a goldfish, Ted. I remember full well that you left me alone all day. 1.3333 0.05801 102 74 22 6
667 I'm still waiting for you to get the vaccine... 1.3333 0.05341 132 98 24 10
668 Now's not the time to be Koi! 1.3333 0.05717 120 90 20 10
669 He was delicious. Do have any more? 1.3333 0.04698 150 108 34 8
670 I'm beta testing. 1.3333 0.05466 120 88 24 8
671 He didn’t leave a note, but he told me I could have his bowl. 1.3333 0.05336 120 87 26 7
672 ‘To catch the ball, you must become one with the ball.’ 1.3333 0.04424 186 137 36 13
673 It’s a dog-eat-fish world, Steve. 1.3333 0.05285 126 92 26 8
674 I guess “no-krill” dog shelter was not a typo… 1.3333 0.05847 105 77 21 7
675 I slipped. 1.3333 0.05429 117 85 25 7
676 Did you even read the instructions?” 1.3333 0.05554 132 100 20 12
677 This is the cat’s fault…somehow. 1.3333 0.05521 126 94 22 10
678 I chewed up the little ship you built in here. 1.3313 0.04915 160 120 27 13
679 The Magic 8-Ball says "Arf". 1.3309 0.05011 136 99 29 8
680 A little privacy, please! 1.3308 0.05167 130 95 27 8
681 I lost a bet with the goldfish. 1.3307 0.05707 127 97 18 12
682 Really, I'm just bowl sitting while they're on vacation. 1.3307 0.05130 127 92 28 7
683 It looked completely different on Airbnb" 1.3303 0.05383 109 78 26 5
684 The guppies were delicious! 1.3303 0.06121 109 83 16 10
685 Not the kind of dog bowl I expected. 1.3302 0.05953 106 79 19 8
686 Yes, I was wondering about it myself. 1.3302 0.06102 106 80 17 9
687 Maybe a fish is really more your style. 1.3302 0.05643 106 77 23 6
688 How’d you get out there? 1.3298 0.06307 94 70 17 7
689 I said “Pet guppy” 1.3294 0.04553 170 125 34 11
690 No, not again." (by the students of 4B at The Center for Early Education 1.3285 0.05087 137 101 27 9
691 This isn't what I meant when I said I didn't like the crate. 1.3285 0.05294 137 103 23 11
692 Well actually I'm a goldfish retriever 1.3285 0.05394 137 104 21 12
693 Yes, it's a bit on the small side, but the price and location can't be beat. 1.3284 0.05165 134 99 26 9
694 Sorry, I ordered the wrong dog bowl 1.3282 0.05247 131 97 25 9
695 Don't even think about flushing me down the toilet. 1.3281 0.05096 128 93 28 7
696 I’m water spaniel 1.3281 0.05216 128 94 26 8
697 Please respect my safe space. 1.3281 0.05332 128 95 24 9
698 Man’s best friend, my foot. 1.3279 0.05636 122 92 20 10
699 Just because I have a three second attention span doesn’t mean I deserve this. 1.3277 0.05217 119 86 27 6
700 Let me tell you. The grass isn’t always greener on the other side. 1.3277 0.05217 119 86 27 6
701 Seriously, this is your idea of a doggie bowl? 1.3274 0.05684 113 84 21 8
702 Actually, I changed my mind. Let's try the crate again. 1.3273 0.05934 110 83 18 9
703 Thanks for my new water bowl. It even had a snack in it. 1.3271 0.06053 107 81 17 9
704 look, if you want to go walkies during a pandemic, go for it, me, I'm staying in here 1.3269 0.06178 104 79 16 9
705 I'm still waiting for the CDC to approve COVID pet vaccinations. 1.3269 0.05541 104 75 24 5
706 I was hungry AND thirsty. 1.3267 0.04777 150 110 31 9
707 I'm just holding his place in line. He said he would be right back. 1.3265 0.05213 147 112 22 13
708 Honestly, I just kissed her. 1.3261 0.05261 138 104 23 11
709 They didn’t leave a forwarding address. 1.3261 0.06393 92 69 16 7
710 I'm not coming out until you get vaccinated. Just like when I have to get my rabies shot. 1.3258 0.06143 89 65 19 5
711 I promise, I'll never go on the carpet again! 1.3258 0.04986 132 96 29 7
712 I'm not happy about the shoe incident either, but this is extreme. 1.3252 0.05097 123 89 28 6
713 So, you want to know what happened? Ok, you be me, and I'll be the goldfish. Then... 1.3252 0.05353 123 91 24 8
714 The only jelly beans left were colors that you don't like anyway. 1.3252 0.05596 123 93 20 10
715 Dan, the expression is, "Give a dog a bone. A BONE." 1.3250 0.05571 120 90 21 9
716 I miss the days where if you misbehaved, they put you in the doghouse. 1.3248 0.05268 117 85 26 6
717 The glass is always cleaner on the other side. 1.3248 0.05406 117 86 24 7
718 I made a bet with the goldfish. I lost. 1.3248 0.05406 117 86 24 7
719 I gotta pee! 1.3247 0.05120 154 118 22 14
720 Really, Jim, you seriously need to get new glasses. 1.3246 0.05359 114 83 25 6
721 I swear, there was no goldfish in here when I climbed in! 1.3246 0.05641 114 85 21 8
722 We're not off to a great start. 1.3246 0.05359 114 83 25 6
723 No sir. I'm a puppy, not a guppy. 1.3243 0.05002 148 111 26 11
724 Ask again later. 1.3243 0.05888 111 84 18 9
725 You have your bubble. I have mine. 1.3237 0.05327 139 106 21 12
726 To be fair, the fish was going in the toilet anyway. 1.3235 0.05206 136 102 24 10
727 'Hmm... I should probably get my meds adjusted' 1.3233 0.05068 133 98 27 8
728 The goldfish ate my homework. 1.3233 0.05395 133 101 21 11
729 I'm just as surprised as you are. 1.3231 0.05147 130 96 26 8
730 Funny story.... 1.3231 0.05374 130 98 22 10
731 Reginald sensed that he wasn't cut out for pet ownership. 1.3231 0.05030 130 95 28 7
732 ... and that's how the goldfish wound up in the doghouse. 1.3231 0.05147 130 96 26 8
733 What do you mean what happened to the fish? 1.3228 0.05577 127 97 19 11
734 Fish pellets are fine...anything but beans. 1.3228 0.05348 127 95 23 9
735 Sorry about the goldfish. Can I come out now? 1.3228 0.04774 158 118 29 11
736 Fetch? Really? 1.3226 0.05953 93 68 20 5
737 Who wasn’t a good dog? 1.3226 0.05063 124 90 28 6
738 I miss our walks together. 1.3223 0.05277 121 89 25 7
739 I was really thirsty! 1.3219 0.04655 146 106 33 7
740 Shower, shave and get some coffee and then we'll talk. 1.3217 0.05022 143 107 26 10
741 I heard “sit, fish” not “sit, fetch”! 1.3217 0.05214 143 109 22 12
742 I don’t think I should swim on a full stomach. 1.3214 0.05413 112 82 24 6
743 Hey, if I was a 3-masted schooner you wouldn't be at all surprised! 1.3214 0.05560 112 83 22 7
744 Can I have some water…? 1.3214 0.05196 140 106 23 11
745 Is there no place to hide? 1.3214 0.05703 112 84 20 8
746 Hey, look at me. I'm an English Bowldog. 1.3212 0.05173 137 103 24 10
747 What, you were expecting Barbara Eden? 1.3211 0.05512 109 80 23 6
748 You think this is weird? Where are your eyes? 1.3208 0.06222 106 82 14 10
749 Alright I’ll give it a shot, but I’m telling you if the goldfish is curled up in my spot in front of the fireplace, neither one of us is going to be very happy. 1.3208 0.05113 106 75 28 3
750 The rent was reasonable, there’s lots of natural light, and they allowed pets. So, I thought, hey, I can compromise a little on the space, right? 1.3208 0.06222 106 82 14 10
751 Francis, you got the wrong book. Not How to Raise a Guppy! 1.3206 0.05114 131 97 26 8
752 You can wish all you want. It still doesn't make you a catfish. 1.3205 0.04897 156 118 26 12
753 I know you ordered a talking fish, but maybe it's time to count our blessings? 1.3204 0.05888 103 77 19 7
754 In the Metaverse everyone thinks I'm a dog. 1.3204 0.06203 103 79 15 9
755 Could you pour in some water so I can practice my dog paddle? 1.3204 0.05888 103 77 19 7
756 I really have to pee. Don't ask about Goldie. 1.3203 0.05075 128 94 27 7
757 Let me guess. Taking the goldfish out for a walk in the park didn't go too well, huh? 1.3200 0.04665 150 110 32 8
758 I know . . . I've been looking for them myself. 1.3200 0.05400 125 94 22 9
759 I got stuck going after the cat. 1.3200 0.05279 125 93 24 8
760 So, if I say 'Trump won' five times, you'll let me out of here? 1.3197 0.05015 147 111 25 11
761 It’s boy in a bubble, not good boy in a bubble 1.3197 0.05614 122 93 19 10
762 The fish were good, but boy do I have to pee. 1.3195 0.04549 169 126 32 11
763 Tap the glass and I'll bite you. 1.3193 0.05589 119 90 20 9
764 I’ve always identified as a goldfish 1.3191 0.05065 141 106 25 10
765 I was getting tired of the usual tricks. 1.3190 0.05557 116 87 21 8
766 You still have to walk me you know. 1.3190 0.05421 116 86 23 7
767 I'm sorry Dave - I can't open the pod doors. 1.3190 0.05557 116 87 21 8
768 A life sentence for one goldfish? 1.3187 0.06790 91 71 11 9
769 No, no, I'm a GOLDFISH retriever. 1.3185 0.05004 135 100 27 8
770 Anything's possible with the right camera angle, my friend. 1.3182 0.05469 110 81 23 6
771 Never seen a dogfish before? 1.3182 0.05469 110 81 23 6
772 Very funny. Mixed petaphor. 1.3182 0.04936 154 117 25 12
773 When you die, I bet she orders a Forever-Replica of you also. 1.3182 0.04966 132 97 28 7
774 Yes you're handsome. Now let me out. 1.3182 0.05909 110 84 17 9
775 But I was really thirsty and you closed the toilet lid! 1.3182 0.05081 132 98 26 8
776 They told you today's cannibis is not the same as the joints you smoked in college 1.3178 0.05276 129 97 23 9
777 This isn't what I meant when I told you I needed a new water bowl. 1.3178 0.05727 107 80 20 7
778 Political correctness be damned. I'm just going to say it: you're married to a witch. 1.3175 0.05243 126 94 24 8
779 I couldn't resist, I was hungry and thirsty. 1.3175 0.04995 126 92 28 6
780 How about a little hydrant? 1.3175 0.04867 126 91 30 5
781 I know the situation looks a bit fishy 1.3172 0.04765 145 107 30 8
782 Ben's OCD did not prevent him from having a pet dog. 1.3172 0.04765 145 107 30 8
783 A young Stanley Grzminski, the inventor of the conference room, envisions the future. 1.3168 0.05617 101 74 22 5
784 I know that I’m not a goldfish. I’m just playing koi. 1.3168 0.05790 101 75 20 6
785 Goldie told me to say goodbye. 1.3168 0.05959 101 76 18 7
786 Listen pal, I'm a talking dog...don't you think we're aiming a bit low here? 1.3167 0.05290 120 89 24 7
787 Maybe just focus on how the hell you're gonna walk the goldfish. 1.3167 0.04877 120 86 30 4
788 I ate the fish and drank the water. Deal with it. 1.3163 0.06085 98 74 17 7
789 I know you are worried about covid-19 but don't you think you are taking this a little too far? 1.3162 0.05516 117 88 21 8
790 Everything just looks a little safer from in here 1.3162 0.05242 117 86 25 6
791 No no, Schrödinger, this is not the right way! 1.3162 0.04633 136 98 33 5
792 A hydrant! A hydrant! My fishbowl for a hydrant! 1.3158 0.05333 114 84 24 6
793 I'm nonbinary. 1.3158 0.04934 133 98 28 7
794 You fetch, moron. Sit is all you’re getting out of me. 1.3158 0.05048 133 99 26 8
795 You're not going to believe this. 1.3158 0.05048 133 99 26 8
796 What happened to the little castle? 1.3158 0.06218 95 72 16 7
797 You look like you’ve put on weight. 1.3154 0.04864 149 112 27 10
798 Dogfish, smart ass! 1.3154 0.05354 130 99 21 10
799 Could you shake the globe? I love chasing the snowflakes. 1.3153 0.05576 111 83 21 7
800 I just wanted to swim a mile in another pet’s fins. It’s an empathy thing. 1.3151 0.04533 146 106 34 6
801 My pronouns are still he/him 1.3150 0.05556 127 98 18 11
802 Only you can release me from this metaphor gone wrong. 1.3150 0.05556 127 98 18 11
803 I’m more of a catfish person. 1.3147 0.05004 143 108 25 10
804 Well, it was a really fat fish. 1.3145 0.04908 124 90 29 5
805 No, I didn't eat the fish. 1.3145 0.05293 124 93 23 8
806 I'm one step ahead of the cat." 1.3143 0.05178 140 107 22 11
807 Please accept that I can't be what you want me to be. 1.3143 0.05466 105 77 23 5
808 No idea what happened to the fish. But I did drink the water. 1.3143 0.05792 105 79 19 7
809 I’ve long struggled with my identity. 1.3137 0.04771 153 115 28 10
810 It's a cat thing. You wouldn't understand. 1.3137 0.05908 102 77 18 7
811 The fish? I'd like to have an attorney present." 1.3137 0.05393 102 74 24 4
812 Uh, remember the goldfish and the cat? 1.3137 0.06070 102 78 16 8
813 I guess it's not the water that has you upset. 1.3137 0.04493 153 112 34 7
814 Please can you overfeed me now? 1.3136 0.05342 118 88 23 7
815 Eating the fish was the easy part - you try drinking all that water ! 1.3133 0.06623 83 63 14 6
816 I’m a Just-Add-Water Spaniel. 1.3130 0.05574 115 87 20 8
817 OK, no more questions. Just break the damn glass! 1.3130 0.05841 115 89 16 10
818 This is what happens when you order a Dogfish on line “ Eisenstein 1.3130 0.05207 131 99 23 9
819 How am I ever going to feel comfortable licking my ‘private parts’? 1.3125 0.05518 128 99 18 11
820 So, you live in a bubble, I live in a bubble, what's the big deal? 1.3125 0.05234 112 82 25 5
821 That's cute that you think I'm the only one of us in a bubble. 1.3125 0.05533 112 84 21 7
822 Woof? 1.3120 0.04875 125 91 29 5
823 At least he didn't put me in the microwave. 1.3119 0.04997 109 78 28 3
824 That’s right, Andy … I’m a pescatarian. 1.3118 0.06661 93 73 11 9
825 It all depends on your point of view. 1.3117 0.04654 154 115 30 9
826 So this is my punishment for winning at "Go Fish" 1.3115 0.05085 122 90 26 6
827 I'm in the doghouse, too, pal. 1.3113 0.05586 106 79 21 6
828 I was thirsty and hungry. 1.3113 0.05423 106 78 23 5
829 So anyway, the goldfish is outside chasing squirrels. 1.3113 0.05586 106 79 21 6
830 I needed my own space. 1.3111 0.06250 90 68 16 6
831 Did you ever wonder how the ship got in the bottle? 1.3111 0.05094 135 102 24 9
832 (Bark!) 1.3111 0.06047 90 67 18 5
833 You know the PETA people are able to see this cartoon, right? 1.3107 0.05858 103 78 18 7
834 That’s right, rub it and repeat three times, who’s a good boy! 1.3103 0.05395 116 87 22 7
835 Even worse, there’s a giant goldfish outside, tied to the tree. 1.3103 0.05736 87 63 21 3
836 Laddie! Get Help!! 1.3101 0.05019 129 96 26 7
837 You walked the fish, didn't you? 1.3097 0.05491 113 85 21 7
838 I have to pee. 1.3097 0.05491 113 85 21 7
839 Instead of thinking outside the box I'm trying to think inside the bowl. 1.3097 0.05041 113 82 27 4
840 Yeah, about the catfish. 1.3097 0.05633 113 86 19 8
841 Poor Jeff had lost his eyes, so he could not have seen his goldfishes great Halloween costume 1.3095 0.04972 126 93 27 6
842 Do you still like genetic engineering? 1.3095 0.05221 126 95 23 8
843 No, I didn't eat him. The bowl was empty when I got here! 1.3095 0.05341 126 96 21 9
844 Sorry, Fred. This is worse than the time I ate chocolate. 1.3093 0.06448 97 76 12 9
845 If you had remembered to feed me, I wouldn't have had to eat the goldfish. 1.3092 0.04499 152 112 33 7
846 I suppose you'll be taking the fish for a walk now? 1.3091 0.05285 110 81 24 5
847 More importantly, what are you doing out there? 1.3091 0.05592 110 83 20 7
848 If I were you, I'd be more concerned about the giant goldfish in your pool. 1.3091 0.05285 110 81 24 5
849 No, I'm 'fish bowl' size. That's one up from 'tea cup.' 1.3089 0.05431 123 94 20 9
850 Gary, I want a new urn. 1.3088 0.05168 136 104 22 10
851 I ate the goldfish and then I got thirsty. 1.3084 0.05541 107 80 21 6
852 You think this is bad, go see what the goldfish just did on the living room rug. 1.3084 0.05851 107 82 17 8
853 Fish? I don't know anything about a fish. 1.3083 0.05265 120 90 23 7
854 You've got to stop treating me like your ex, Phil. 1.3083 0.05773 120 94 15 11
855 Tuesday is sushi day. 1.3083 0.05139 133 101 23 9
856 ....can't we just go back to me finding a spot in the backyard ? 1.3083 0.04912 133 99 27 7
857 You know, a kennel is more traditional 1.3083 0.04795 133 98 29 6
858 Obviously you're confused. Try to Google Dogfish 1.3077 0.05220 130 99 22 9
859 So, you want out? 1.3077 0.06273 104 82 12 10
860 It's going to be a steep learning curve, Ted. 1.3077 0.05782 91 67 20 4
861 Is there dessert? 1.3077 0.05624 117 90 18 9
862 Don’t act like you haven’t done weirder things 1.3077 0.05220 130 99 22 9
863 Wow, this curved glass makes you look like Mr. Potato Head....Just kidding, Larry. The glass has nothing to do with it. 1.3077 0.05624 117 90 18 9
864 Ok, ok. Tell me your three wishes 1.3077 0.05216 117 87 24 6
865 It beats drinking out of the toilet bowl. 1.3077 0.04865 130 96 28 6
866 "Never gonna make you cry Never gonna say goodbye Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you" 1.3071 0.04938 127 94 27 6
867 I asked for a catfish. 1.3070 0.05727 114 88 17 9
868 I fell in here when I was just a puppy. 1.3070 0.05727 114 88 17 9
869 The fish sends his regards. 1.3070 0.05590 114 87 19 8
870 . . . no thanks, I'll just stay here until after 2024." 1.3069 0.06092 101 78 15 8
871 And please take the collar off the fish. 1.3069 0.05583 101 75 21 5
872 Wrong dog bowl... 1.3069 0.05583 101 75 21 5
873 I was hungry, and then I was thirsty 1.3069 0.06092 101 78 15 8
874 This wasn’t what I meant when I asked you to fill my bowl. 1.3065 0.05015 124 92 26 6
875 Did you notice my bark is louder? 1.3063 0.05694 111 85 18 8
876 He said we were only going to swap for five minutes. 1.3061 0.06052 98 75 16 7
877 Goldfish are overrated 1.3061 0.05506 98 72 22 4
878 I feel the same way. 1.3061 0.04885 147 112 25 10
879 The fish had it coming. 1.3058 0.05228 121 91 23 7
880 The grass is always greener. 1.3058 0.05095 121 90 25 6
881 As a cis-species canine, I now understand my privilege and the struggles of the trans-species community 1.3056 0.05497 108 81 21 6
882 Dwayne yearned to pet his nonfungible meta-dog. 1.3054 0.04390 167 125 33 9
883 Shake me and see the flees jump. 1.3053 0.04833 131 97 28 6
884 Clearly there’s been something lost in translation. I asked the genie for some fish in my dog bowl. 1.3051 0.05316 118 89 22 7
885 Okay,I can roll with this for the party but no goddamn fake snow. 1.3050 0.04821 141 106 27 8
886 you said koi but your genie heard corgi. 1.3048 0.05434 105 78 22 5
887 OK, either you're dreaming, or I am. 1.3048 0.05600 105 79 20 6
888 My point is that you can flush me down the toilet, but don't send me to a farm upstate. 1.3048 0.05918 105 81 16 8
889 Elmer regretted not buying ‘Dog’s For Dummies’ 1.3047 0.04648 128 93 31 4
890 How should I know what happened to the fish? 1.3047 0.05268 128 98 21 9
891 You’re not the only one who misses their little pandemic bubble. 1.3047 0.05497 128 100 17 11
892 It's an echo chamber in here, but at least I've got a woof over my head 1.3047 0.05268 128 98 21 9
893 you misunderstood the meaning of dogfish… 1.3043 0.05408 115 87 21 7
894 Want me to roll over? 1.3043 0.05408 115 87 21 7
895 I'll remain in here until someone eliminates garlic from their diet. 1.3043 0.05205 138 107 20 11
896 Laika? I barely knew her! 1.3043 0.05548 115 88 19 8
897 Actually, I’d prefer a pedestal. 1.3043 0.05729 92 68 20 4
898 I’ve felt like this ever since I first heard the phrase “pandemic pet”…. 1.3040 0.05108 125 94 24 7
899 It all started when I wished for a showcase home in which I didn't have to tolerate constant petting from humans...poof...and here I am. 1.3039 0.05174 102 74 25 3
900 I don't know about you-but this looks very fishy to me! 1.3039 0.05709 102 77 19 6
901 Welcome to the Terrierdome. 1.3037 0.05180 135 104 21 10
902 … Meanwhile at the miniature dog research laboratory, Carl conducts extreme weather tolerance tests using a snow globe… 1.3036 0.05649 112 86 18 8
903 You're out of edibles. 1.3036 0.05205 112 83 24 5
904 Okay Mr. inventor , how are you planning to scoop? 1.3036 0.05927 112 88 14 10
905 A walk would do both of us some good. 1.3036 0.05205 112 83 24 5
906 Bought it from a goldfish, but not sure I like living in a glass house. 1.3036 0.05505 112 85 20 7
907 Not what I meant when I said I needed a dog bowl. 1.3034 0.06065 89 67 17 5
908 I saved it from drowning. 1.3033 0.05059 122 91 25 6
909 What did you think a dog fish was? 1.3033 0.05191 122 92 23 7
910 Because it was there. 1.3030 0.05644 99 74 20 5
911 This whole unfortunate situation could’ve been avoided with a can of tuna. 1.3030 0.06168 99 77 14 8
912 Just until you get your booster. Think if it as me protecting YOU. 1.3030 0.05037 132 100 24 8
913 It's a dog eat dog world inside the snowglobe these days. 1.3030 0.04921 132 99 26 7
914 You didn't notice you were walking the goldfish? 1.3028 0.06044 109 86 13 10
915 I think I've mastered playing koi. 1.3026 0.04577 152 114 30 8
916 I hope this one lives, we can't afford to block the toilet again. 1.3025 0.05141 119 89 24 6
917 Perhaps you were expecting a catfish my friend 1.3025 0.05141 119 89 24 6
918 It looked roomier on Zillow. 1.3023 0.06421 86 66 14 6
919 You ever get the feeling that you’re in a New Yorker cartoon? 1.3023 0.06834 86 68 10 8
920 I swear, it started with a glance and just got out of hand. 1.3021 0.05946 96 73 17 6
921 The goldfish are on vacation. 1.3021 0.05364 96 70 23 3
922 I ate it all. Now I can't get out 1.3019 0.05714 106 81 18 7
923 Help me, Obi-Wan Kenobi, you're my only hope. 1.3017 0.05640 116 90 17 9
924 You ate the fish AND drank the water!?! 1.3017 0.05506 116 89 19 8
925 Well, you wanted a designer dog that you didn't have to walk. 1.3017 0.04777 116 84 29 3
926 Im identifying as a gold fish 1.3017 0.05506 116 89 19 8
927 Not to be the turd in the punch bowl, but you’re about to have a turd in your punch bowl. 1.3017 0.05368 116 88 21 7
928 So this is what it's like to wear glasses! Weird! It's like living in a fish bowl. 1.3015 0.04705 136 101 29 6
929 Who's a good fishdog? 1.3015 0.04931 136 103 25 8
930 I’m ready for liftoff. 1.3015 0.04931 136 103 25 8
931 The good news is the cat is fine. 1.3014 0.04699 146 110 28 8
932 Would you believe… lampreydoodle? 1.3011 0.06074 93 71 16 6
933 Now get me out if here 1.3011 0.05879 93 70 18 5
934 Caroline took him for a walk. Something about 'less to pick up'." 1.3010 0.05661 103 78 19 6
935 Well,it was a bigger fish than I thought… 1.3009 0.05316 113 85 22 6
936 Globalization is the future. 1.3009 0.05463 113 86 20 7
937 You said it was catfish. 1.3008 0.05024 123 92 25 6
938 She's out walking the fish. 1.3008 0.04526 133 97 32 4
939 I was tired of being on the outside looking in. 1.3007 0.04659 143 107 29 7
940 He said he wanted a goldfish. You bought him a puppy. He is 4 years old, what did you think was going to happen??? 1.3000 0.06007 90 68 17 5
941 I refuse to believe SPCA gave you a "thumbs up" on this. 1.3000 0.04588 130 95 31 4
942 Please don’t plug it in! 1.3000 0.04841 130 97 27 6
943 Would you believe that rapid evolution is responsible for my being here? 1.3000 0.05411 110 83 21 6
944 After I drank all the water, it seemed to cruel to let Goldie suffer anymore. 1.3000 0.05711 110 85 17 8
945 I figured out how they get the boats in. But how to I get out? 1.3000 0.06113 100 78 14 8
946 Okay, we have different viewpoints. Now get me out.” 1.3000 0.06007 90 68 17 5
947 So, I was really thirsty (ha ha), and that gold, floppy thing was a little dessert. 1.3000 0.06409 90 70 13 7
948 My bowl, my choice. 1.3000 0.05795 90 67 19 4
949 What, you expected a catfish? 1.2993 0.05320 137 108 17 12
950 It's just a tourist visit. 1.2992 0.04913 127 95 26 6
951 There’s something fishy about the way you’re staring at me. 1.2992 0.05398 127 99 18 10
952 The betta started it. 1.2991 0.05328 117 89 21 7
953 Rover, if you're in here... who did I just take out for a walk? 1.2991 0.05328 117 89 21 7
954 Well this is my authentic self, Brian, but yes we can still be best friends. 1.2991 0.05465 117 90 19 8
955 Screw the castle and the pebbles and get some fake grass and a tiny fire hydrant up in here! 1.2991 0.05347 107 80 22 5
956 Thanks, it was possibly the best fish soup I ever had." 1.2991 0.05510 107 81 20 6
957 Genus envy 1.2990 0.05892 97 74 17 6
958 I've traded fetching for kvetching. 1.2990 0.05516 97 72 21 4
959 What are you doing out there, Ralph? 1.2984 0.05489 124 97 17 10
960 But, really, it looked like a bone. 1.2984 0.05245 124 95 21 8
961 I'll fetch after you test negative. 1.2982 0.05127 114 85 24 5
962 I'm a Guppipoo 1.2982 0.05276 114 86 22 6
963 Bob, mistakenly thought having a pet fish at age 6 made him an expert on the care and feeding of all pets. The results based on his misguided feelings of expertise with women were even more calamitous. 1.2981 0.06391 104 84 9 11
964 As a new pet owner,Rodney really struggled with concepts like “dog bowl.” 1.2981 0.05614 104 79 19 6
965 Not the pet you expected? Try seeing it from my position. 1.2981 0.05778 104 80 17 7
966 Shouldn’t you check on the goldfish in the kennel?" 1.2979 0.04905 141 108 24 9
967 Do you think the landlord will notice? 1.2979 0.05625 94 70 20 4
968 I’m pretty sure this is not the way the magician does it. 1.2977 0.04686 131 97 29 5
969 Yes, it is small...but it's rent controlled. 1.2975 0.04788 121 89 28 4
970 Take me to your litter! 1.2973 0.05368 111 84 21 6
971 Ha! I wish you knew how fat you look from here. 1.2973 0.05808 111 87 15 9
972 That’s what happens when you play with CRISPR 1.2973 0.05368 111 84 21 6
973 Goldfish is just the name they gave me at the shelter! 1.2973 0.05368 111 84 21 6
974 Well, in my defense, I must say that I'm not the only one in this house who sleeps in strange places after an all-nighter 1.2973 0.05368 111 84 21 6
975 The fish? What fish? 1.2970 0.05179 101 74 24 3
976 That’s what you get for putting an alpha with a betta. 1.2970 0.06060 101 79 14 8
977 We're like two lost souls living in a fish bowl year after year...sort of. 1.2970 0.05548 101 76 20 5
978 Now you won't have to walk me. Happy? 1.2967 0.06151 91 70 15 6
979 I'm sorry, I couldn't get your paper this morning. 1.2967 0.05949 91 69 17 5
980 oh ... you said fetch..not fish. 1.2967 0.05949 91 69 17 5
981 In these times, don't we all live in a fishbowl? 1.2966 0.05424 118 91 19 8
982 We're out of treats. 1.2966 0.04861 118 87 27 4
983 Okay, I made a mistake. I thought it was a kitty. Now get me outta here. 1.2963 0.04592 135 100 30 5
984 Maybe you can feed me after you walk the fish. 1.2963 0.05622 108 83 18 7
985 Where's the snow? 1.2960 0.04687 125 92 29 4
986 How did you know it was me, and not the cat? 1.2960 0.05083 125 95 23 7
987 Enough time out 1.2958 0.04771 142 108 26 8
988 I should’ve bought the catfish 1.2958 0.04771 142 108 26 8
989 I swallowed the cat, that swallowed the fish... 1.2958 0.04665 142 107 28 7
990 So I lied at the shelter. I can't really tell fortunes. Sorry. 1.2955 0.05349 132 104 17 11
991 I asked if you could "put water in my bowl" 1.2955 0.05128 132 102 21 9
992 Don’t ruin this for me, Milton. 1.2955 0.06082 88 67 16 5
993 I am the future of non-shedding, hypoallergenic dogs. Behold the goldfishdoodle! 1.2955 0.05014 132 101 23 8
994 Let me guess: first-time pet owner, right? 1.2953 0.04809 149 115 24 10
995 You may think I'm trapped in this dome, but you're wrong. Alexa, release the nerve gas. 1.2952 0.06041 105 83 13 9
996 Really? I thought you had just bought me a new supper dish! 1.2952 0.05400 105 79 21 5
997 We really need to think more outside the bowl. 1.2952 0.05567 105 80 19 6
998 Remind me to unfriend you. 1.2952 0.05400 105 79 21 5
999 I’m not sure…I stuck my head in to eat a treat and the rest is a blur” 1.2952 0.05400 105 79 21 5
1000 I think it's best I isolate until I get all my vaccinations 1.2952 0.05730 105 81 17 7
1001 If you're trying to be more fair, let's put a leash on the goldfish instead. 1.2951 0.04461 122 88 32 2
1002 What, you've never seen a dog bowl before? 1.2951 0.05165 122 93 22 7
1003 what fish? when I climbed in here, it was empty! Really! 1.2951 0.05032 122 92 24 6
1004 If the winning caption even mentions a dogfish, you should cancel your subscription. 1.2947 0.06327 95 75 12 8
1005 When you said we all had to stay in our "family bubble" this wasn't what I had in mind. 1.2947 0.05574 95 71 20 4
1006 Don’t be so cheap. Get a litter box. 1.2947 0.05574 95 71 20 4
1007 The fish is gone. And I really need to go for a walk. 1.2946 0.05174 112 84 23 5
1008 Duh! Yes! I ate your precious goldfish. And I drank all the water. Don't just stand there, get me the hell out of here! 1.2946 0.05762 112 88 15 9
1009 What were youu expecting when you ordered a dogfish? 1.2946 0.05621 112 87 17 8
1010 As the epoxy hardened and his dog stopped squirming, Ron began to wonder if his crafting had gotten out of hand. 1.2946 0.05621 112 87 17 8
1011 We decided to trade places. 1.2946 0.05621 112 87 17 8
1012 I already looked, they’re not in here. 1.2946 0.05476 112 86 19 7
1013 First let me outside. Then I'll tell you how I ended up here. 1.2946 0.04848 129 97 26 6
1014 I've told you a million times, it's catfish, CATFISH. 1.2946 0.04971 129 98 24 7
1015 Actually, I preferred the crate. 1.2946 0.04721 129 96 28 5
1016 I've become a pescatarian. 1.2941 0.05250 119 91 21 7
1017 Watch it, buddy. Try and flush me and I'll clog the toilet. 1.2941 0.04338 153 114 33 6
1018 Oh, yeah! What are you doing out there? 1.2941 0.04908 136 104 24 8
1019 No, honestly, the goldfish is in the wrong bowl. 1.2941 0.05322 102 76 22 4
1020 Unlike Goldie, the previous occupant, I am keenly aware I am living in a fishbowl. 1.2941 0.04971 119 89 25 5
1021 I'll get you out just as soon as I figure out how you got in. 1.2941 0.05384 119 92 19 8
1022 Am I in the doghouse? 1.2941 0.05501 102 77 20 5
1023 Just get me out. This isn’t Schrödinger. 1.2937 0.04742 143 109 26 8
1024 Please…just don’t flush me to dog heaven! 1.2937 0.05412 126 99 17 10
1025 You here to see the penthouse studio with 360 degree views? 1.2937 0.04790 126 94 27 5
1026 Would you please rub my tummy? 1.2937 0.05412 126 99 17 10
1027 Next time pay more attention. I am not a tadpole 1.2937 0.05172 126 97 21 8
1028 I ate the fish and drank the water. Now will you let me out? 1.2936 0.05727 109 85 16 8
1029 Bob, it's me, your dog, Max. Remember? Walks in the park, chasing squirrels, rolling in the grass...Bob? 1.2936 0.05263 109 82 22 5
1030 I'm not coming out until you put on a mask. 1.2936 0.05576 109 84 18 7
1031 I had an identity crisis 1.2936 0.05263 109 82 22 5
1032 Am I a cat or a dog? If I'm a cat, then I'm good. If I'm a dog, then GET ME OUT OF HERE! 1.2935 0.05893 92 70 17 5
1033 We should probably talk about last night. 1.2935 0.06093 92 71 15 6
1034 Explain myself? Ok. Umm, yeah, I got nothin’. 1.2935 0.06093 92 71 15 6
1035 I told you to leave the goldfish alone 1.2931 0.05613 116 91 16 9
1036 I did say I needed a dog bowl. 1.2931 0.05051 116 87 24 5
1037 I'm not an allegory of life. I'm your dog. Get me out of here! 1.2931 0.05478 116 90 18 8
1038 You said if I sit I get a treat. 1.2929 0.05420 99 74 21 4
1039 I'm not a catfish, I'm a fishcat. 1.2929 0.05607 99 75 19 5
1040 I can explain. 1.2929 0.05026 99 72 25 2
1041 You never said I couldn’t. 1.2929 0.05227 99 73 23 3
1042 All you have to do is lick it three times. 1.2927 0.05257 123 95 20 8
1043 Easy now. Take a breath. It's not what it looks like. 1.2925 0.05010 106 78 25 3
1044 You've gone way too far with this downsizing stuff! 1.2925 0.05356 106 80 21 5
1045 Yeah, I'm a taking dog, but that doesn't mean you have to stare. 1.2925 0.05356 106 80 21 5
1046 This rescue isn't working for me. 1.2925 0.05186 106 79 23 4
1047 You know you will still need to walk me! 1.2923 0.04690 130 97 28 5
1048 If I’m in here, where’s the goldfish now? 1.2923 0.05057 130 100 22 8
1049 At this point, I'm willing to settle for the cone. 1.2923 0.04816 130 98 26 6
1050 I don't yet know how or when, but you, sir, are a dead man. 1.2921 0.06818 89 72 8 9
1051 Everyone's staring at me. I feel like I'm living in a fishbowl. 1.2920 0.05577 113 88 17 8
1052 You might tell the airhead who drew us that I find nothing humorous about my current situation. 1.2920 0.05433 113 87 19 7
1053 If it were predictable it would cease to be life! 1.2920 0.04986 137 106 22 9
1054 If you shake me one more time expecting to see fake snow, you will remember this Christmas for along time. 1.2920 0.04877 137 105 24 8
1055 There is no grass on the other side, Buddy. 1.2917 0.05474 120 94 17 9
1056 It's a funny story.... 1.2917 0.05076 120 91 23 6
1057 Turn me over and it snows. 1.2917 0.04936 120 90 25 5
1058 Go ahead. Throw the first stone. 1.2917 0.04792 120 89 27 4
1059 I don't know what it is, I just want to get out! 1.2917 0.05345 120 93 19 8
1060 The kibble dehydrated me. I had no choice. I dont know where Goldie is. I like your hair like that. 1.2917 0.05076 120 91 23 6
1061 I didn’t see any fish. 1.2917 0.05908 96 74 16 6
1062 Stop staring, and help me. 1.2917 0.06268 96 76 12 8
1063 Sorry I was just sooo thirsty! 1.2913 0.05793 103 80 16 7
1064 Yes, I said "Dogfish" 1.2913 0.05278 103 77 22 4
1065 Be the ball,” you said. 1.2913 0.05455 103 78 20 5
1066 You know, it would have been easier if you just put me on a leash. 1.2913 0.05278 103 77 22 4
1067 In my opinion you've taken this pandemic bubble thing a bit too far 1.2913 0.05455 103 78 20 5
1068 You just try taking a goldfish for a walk. 1.2909 0.05532 110 85 18 7
1069 Sorry about the Goldfish. He went down with the water. 1.2909 0.05379 110 84 20 6
1070 I said I needed a ball to play with, not in. 1.2909 0.05826 110 87 14 9
1071 If you'll just turn off the Fox, I'll come out 1.2909 0.05532 110 85 18 7
1072 We’re gonna need a bigger bowl… 1.2909 0.04892 110 81 26 3
1073 Meow. 1.2906 0.05300 117 90 20 7
1074 I know this looks bad. 1.2903 0.04962 124 94 24 6
1075 Turn me over. I love it when it snows. 1.2903 0.05838 93 71 17 5
1076 Was it something I said? 1.2903 0.05219 124 96 20 8
1077 The cat tricked me! 1.2903 0.06035 93 72 15 6
1078 Really? This is what you consider no-bark training? 1.2901 0.04784 131 99 26 6
1079 What? You've never seen a catfish before? 1.2901 0.04532 131 97 30 4
1080 So what, tubby, I watched you eat that whole salmon. 1.2897 0.05477 107 82 19 6
1081 It used to be a snow globe. I pulled the sled. 1.2897 0.05313 107 81 21 5
1082 I was jealous. 1.2895 0.05392 114 88 19 7
1083 Do you think you can still grant me my other two wishes?! 1.2895 0.05246 114 87 21 6
1084 How did I get here? Well, the cat ate the goldfish and I ate the cat and... 1.2893 0.04901 121 91 25 5
1085 The cat's a sorcerer. 1.2893 0.04611 121 89 29 3
1086 So this is really just about your allergies? 1.2892 0.06068 83 63 16 4
1087 So much for best friends! 1.2892 0.06306 83 64 14 5
1088 When's lunch? 1.2891 0.05337 128 101 17 10
1089 And after you kill them all, Benjy, tell them the dog in the snowglobe told you to do it. I promise, they won't hurt you. 1.2889 0.06170 90 70 14 6
1090 I don’t know what happened. I just wished to be your best friend. 1.2887 0.05276 97 72 22 3
1091 I am not looking forward to cleaning the tank. 1.2885 0.05409 104 79 20 5
1092 Go ahead, burst my bubble. Please. 1.2885 0.05053 104 77 24 3
1093 I got catfished again. 1.2885 0.05579 104 80 18 6
1094 I never thought I'd say this, but DO NOT throw the ball! 1.2885 0.05409 104 79 20 5
1095 Did you walk the goldfish? 1.2883 0.05181 111 84 22 5
1096 What goldfish? I was thirsty! 1.2883 0.04855 111 82 26 3
1097 I don't know. The goldfish just said it was his turn to go to the park. 1.2883 0.04855 111 82 26 3
1098 I don’t get it either. 1.2881 0.05396 118 92 18 8
1099 You never had pets as a kid, I take it? 1.2881 0.04830 118 88 26 4
1100 Waldo, the question is what are you doing out there?” 1.2881 0.05396 118 92 18 8
1101 Kevin! I meant a bowl the dog could eat out of. 1.2880 0.04795 125 94 26 5
1102 You have to be crazy to be out there; it is far safer in here. 1.2879 0.04873 132 101 24 7
1103 Hey Bob, I just called PETA. I hope you look good in orange. 1.2878 0.04594 139 105 28 6
1104 Listen, I appreciate the gesture but can I just go back to the damn cone? 1.2872 0.05583 94 71 19 4
1105 Yes, I ate your goldfish and drank all the water. Now, please tip the bowl a little so I can get out. 1.2871 0.05511 101 77 19 5
1106 I do have one concern: You've been conversing with dog in a fishbowl... Are you sure you're micro-dosing that psilocybin? 1.2871 0.05511 101 77 19 5
1107 You promised me fish for dinner. 1.2871 0.05859 101 79 15 7
1108 How do you expect to fit a bone in here? 1.2871 0.05688 101 78 17 6
1109 Hear me out. In order to catch the ball - I have to BE the ball. 1.2870 0.05104 108 81 23 4
1110 I know it’s hard Frank but your fish is dead. 1.2870 0.05057 115 87 23 5
1111 You were out of dog food? 1.2870 0.05491 115 90 17 8
1112 OK, I get it - this is not my sphere. 1.2870 0.05206 115 88 21 6
1113 . . .and finally, I won't be that easy to flush down the toilet. 1.2869 0.04866 122 92 25 5
1114 Goldfish? Water? No idea! 1.2868 0.05067 129 100 21 8
1115 This only looks fishy. 1.2868 0.05067 129 100 21 8
1116 How did you get outside of the known universe? 1.2868 0.04885 136 105 23 8
1117 I was just playing fetch with the fish. 1.2857 0.05696 105 82 16 7
1118 Didn't you ever feel you belonged somewhere else? 1.2857 0.05191 105 79 22 4
1119 Does anyone have Spot remover ? 1.2857 0.05427 98 74 20 4
1120 You think YOU live in a fishbowl? 1.2857 0.04996 140 110 20 10
1121 No, I have no memory at all of how I ended up in here. 1.2857 0.05981 98 77 14 7
1122 'You think this is strange? Nemo is upstairs barking at cars. 1.2857 0.05855 105 83 14 8
1123 Your move, doc. 1.2857 0.04982 112 84 24 4
1124 Just drop me off at the firehouse. No one will judge you. 1.2857 0.05906 91 70 16 5
1125 That dang fish tricked me again. 1.2857 0.05365 105 80 20 5
1126 This really isn't the 'dog bowl' I was hoping for. 1.2857 0.05230 98 73 22 3
1127 It helps to express my inner fish. 1.2857 0.04941 119 90 24 5
1128 I told you the cat was trouble. 1.2857 0.06366 77 59 14 4
1129 Ok, you won the bet, now get me out of here! 1.2857 0.05365 105 80 20 5
1130 We traded places. 1.2857 0.05083 119 91 22 6
1131 What? You never seen a goldfish before? 1.2857 0.05802 98 76 16 6
1132 What the hell are you looking at? 1.2857 0.04850 154 122 20 12
1133 I am not a Portuguese water dog, this is not a dog bowl, and you are not my best friend. 1.2857 0.06683 84 67 10 7
1134 You'll have to get me out of here if you want to tell people I'm a rescue. 1.2846 0.05230 123 96 19 8
1135 I was thirsty. It had nothing to do with the fish. 1.2846 0.05101 123 95 21 7
1136 Can you take me for a walk please? 1.2845 0.05449 116 91 17 8
1137 It’s none of your business what bubble I’m in 1.2845 0.05020 116 88 23 5
1138 You knew the fish would die if you put it on the couch, right? 1.2845 0.05167 116 89 21 6
1139 You should see where the fish ended up. 1.2845 0.05020 116 88 23 5
1140 Your future is ruff. 1.2844 0.05229 109 83 21 5
1141 I'm a Sea Dog. 1.2844 0.05544 109 85 17 7
1142 I’m sorry, Josh. I just don’t think I’ll ever be able to replace him. 1.2844 0.05544 109 85 17 7
1143 Where else can you get an "unobstructed 360-degree view in New York? 1.2843 0.04700 102 74 27 1
1144 Shake me and see if it snows. 1.2843 0.05096 102 76 23 3
1145 Don’t worry, you’ll forget about this in about three seconds. 1.2843 0.05283 102 77 21 4
1146 No more Pink Floyd for you. 1.2843 0.05464 102 78 19 5
1147 Well, you shouldn’t have played the carnival game if you didn’t want the prize. 1.2843 0.05639 102 79 17 6
1148 Goldfish? No. Can't say that I've seen any. 1.2843 0.05973 102 81 13 8
1149 It’s pretty cool we’re both in the New Yorker’s first uncaptionably cartoon. 1.2843 0.05973 102 81 13 8
1150 It was the cat. 1.2843 0.06133 102 82 11 9
1151 Water. It's really not that bad. 1.2842 0.05731 95 73 17 5
1152 If you're looking for the fish, try the doghouse. 1.2842 0.05731 95 73 17 5
1153 I couldn't find my mask. 1.2842 0.05532 95 72 19 4
1154 and stop looking so smug when you tell people I'm a rescue 1.2841 0.05816 88 67 17 4
1155 That hole is rather small. How the hell did I get in here? 1.2836 0.04691 134 102 26 6
1156 Your goldfish is on the lawn barking up a storm 1.2836 0.05361 134 108 14 12
1157 I dare you to say fetch. 1.2835 0.04730 127 96 26 5
1158 No. I don't know what happened to your precious Goldie." 1.2833 0.05046 120 92 22 6
1159 If you teach a dog to fish... 1.2832 0.05102 113 86 22 5
1160 Let me guess. The fish is on the leash. 1.2832 0.05402 113 88 18 7
1161 Maybe now more than ever, I'm going to need you to be really diligent about picking up my poop. 1.2832 0.05254 113 87 20 6
1162 I said I wanted a dog dish,not a dog fish 1.2830 0.05648 106 83 16 7
1163 Does it matter? A little help here? 1.2830 0.05487 106 82 18 6
1164 Really. I chased the cat in here but she hot out with the fish 1.2830 0.05321 106 81 20 5
1165 Really? Not even for a small bathroom break? 1.2830 0.04972 106 79 24 3
1166 You need a new hobby. 1.2828 0.05750 99 77 16 6
1167 I’m supposed to be a watch dog, not a watched dog. 1.2828 0.05380 99 75 20 4
1168 But I don't even like fish! 1.2828 0.04771 99 72 26 1
1169 A small talking dog in a fish bowl...... and you don't think that's the least bit odd? 1.2828 0.05568 99 76 18 5
1170 The good news is I don’t need a walk, the bad news is you will still have to clean the bowl. 1.2828 0.05927 99 78 14 7
1171 Are you sure you aren't experiencing the sense of being trapped inside a glass globe of your own fears and just projecting those feelings on to me? 1.2828 0.05750 99 77 16 6
1172 Now that’s Betta 1.2826 0.06051 92 72 14 6
1173 Could you rescue me ....again 1.2826 0.06434 92 74 10 8
1174 But I really, really need to go pee. 1.2826 0.06245 92 73 12 7
1175 I live by one rule: I don't throw stones. 1.2826 0.05642 92 70 18 4
1176 I just don't like your politics. 1.2824 0.04758 131 100 25 6
1177 Terry and his Terrier Terrarium 1.2824 0.05703 85 64 18 3
1178 I'm a dogfish 1.2823 0.04799 124 94 25 5
1179 You haven't heard of a dogfish? 1.2823 0.05192 124 97 19 8
1180 The cat put me in here... 1.2821 0.04982 117 89 23 5
1181 While you were hiding from the pandemic I evolved. 1.2818 0.05187 110 84 21 5
1182 The question is not how I got in, but how I get out! 1.2818 0.05500 110 86 17 7
1183 The cat is going to get a big surprise. 1.2816 0.05239 103 78 21 4
1184 I blew my last wish on wanting to get that fish! 1.2816 0.05239 103 78 21 4
1185 Nemo is teleworking today. 1.2816 0.05590 103 80 17 6
1186 Check those stupid looking glasses of yours. Do I look like a fish to you? 1.2816 0.05590 103 80 17 6
1187 Hey, SHE attacked ME 1.2812 0.05482 96 73 19 4
1188 It seemed like a good idea at the time. 1.2812 0.05482 96 73 19 4
1189 How can I convince you that I'm not a dogfish! 1.2812 0.05868 96 75 15 6
1190 Wait... if you're in there,who's been pissing on the kitchen floor? 1.2812 0.05195 128 101 18 9
1191 You asked for a dogfish… 1.2810 0.05278 121 95 18 8
1192 This isn’t the dog bowl I had in mind. 1.2810 0.05146 121 94 20 7
1193 I fell in, and then the fish fell in me. 1.2810 0.05278 121 95 18 8
1194 I wish I could offer you a logical explanation. 1.2810 0.05278 121 95 18 8
1195 I'm full-bred Pescatarian. 1.2810 0.05407 121 96 16 9
1196 Gone fishin'" didn't work out so well for "Goldie. 1.2809 0.05977 89 69 15 5
1197 I was fishing for compliments when I realized I'd hit a glass ceiling. 1.2809 0.06187 89 70 13 6
1198 Why do you wear glasses if you don't have any eyes? 1.2809 0.06587 89 72 9 8
1199 I HAVE JUST GROWN TIRED OF A DOG'S LIFE1 1.2809 0.05759 89 68 17 4
1200 I guess you're wondering how I got here. 1.2807 0.05063 114 87 22 5
1201 You damn fool. Can't you tell a dog from a fish. 1.2807 0.05214 114 88 20 6
1202 You know I’d do anything for wet food.” 1.2807 0.05361 114 89 18 7
1203 You wished your goldfish was a dog. What did you expect, a Saint Bernard?!” 1.2807 0.05063 114 87 22 5
1204 I feel like we live in different worlds, Kyle. 1.2807 0.04746 114 85 26 3
1205 This pandemic bubble has been rough. 1.2807 0.04907 114 86 24 4
1206 And I’m staying here until you put a mask on. 1.2805 0.05827 82 62 17 3
1207 So who did I just take for a walk then? 1.2804 0.05442 107 83 18 6
1208 I know you wanted a fish, but this is getting ridiculous. 1.2804 0.05602 107 84 16 7
1209 I was trying a new sous-vide recipe." 1.2804 0.05757 107 85 14 8
1210 It protects me from the scary firecrackers 1.2804 0.05442 107 83 18 6
1211 Considering they were supposed to be freshwater fish, they tasted quite salty. 1.2803 0.04847 132 102 23 7
1212 Fergus soon realized that this was not the dogfish he ordered. 1.2800 0.05029 125 97 21 7
1213 Thanks. I was hungry and thirsty. 1.2800 0.05140 100 75 22 3
1214 No, I won’t roll over. I’ve got a new gig now. 1.2800 0.05700 100 78 16 6
1215 Break me out and I promise to give the goldfish back. 1.2797 0.04797 118 89 25 4
1216 You forgot to walk the fish. 1.2797 0.05367 118 93 17 8
1217 Now get the fish! 1.2797 0.04946 118 90 23 5
1218 It never snows in here anymore and the water level seems to be rising. Is there something you want to tell me? 1.2796 0.05993 93 73 14 6
1219 Yo, genius. What's a dog gotta do to get some emotional support around here? 1.2796 0.05993 93 73 14 6
1220 I wasn't fishing for compliments. 1.2796 0.05795 93 72 16 5
1221 My water bowl AND food bowl were both empty. 1.2793 0.05147 111 85 21 5
1222 This is no time for lectures. I could use your assistance here. 1.2793 0.05303 111 86 19 6
1223 Don't ask. But you need to walk the goldfish. 1.2791 0.06111 86 67 14 5
1224 Please. Not the flakes again. 1.2789 0.04708 147 115 23 9
1225 Where's the castle? 1.2788 0.05012 104 78 23 3
1226 You're taking the toy dog thing too literally. 1.2788 0.06027 104 84 11 9
1227 The rental market is crazy right now. 1.2788 0.05195 104 79 21 4
1228 They're right. The grass isn't greener. 1.2784 0.05997 97 77 13 7
1229 I can grant any wish ... uh, except for more fish ... 1.2784 0.05433 97 74 19 4
1230 Tasty,but too much broth. 1.2784 0.05627 97 75 17 5
1231 But in a way, are we not all trapped in our own fishbowls, Hank? 1.2783 0.05174 115 89 20 6
1232 The dog put me here to 'sleep with the fishes' ... but, you know, snacks ... 1.2783 0.05599 115 92 14 9
1233 Is dog food flakes a thing? 1.2783 0.05174 115 89 20 6
1234 You say ‘goldfish’, I say ‘sushi’. It’s a dog eat fish world. 1.2783 0.05024 115 88 22 5
1235 I've always identified as a fish, George, I just never had the courage to jump in. 1.2778 0.05235 108 83 20 5
1236 It'd be great if you could use your other two wishes to get me the fuck out of here. 1.2778 0.06126 90 71 13 6
1237 Okay, now before you put in the snow I'm gonna need a sled. 1.2778 0.05242 126 100 17 9
1238 When I die, please don’t flush me down the toilet. 1.2778 0.05119 126 99 19 8
1239 I knew I was in trouble when you took the fish for a walk." 1.2778 0.04893 108 81 24 3
1240 I was both hungry and thirsty. 1.2778 0.05235 108 83 20 5
1241 She's in Boca for a few days. I'm sitting. 1.2778 0.04597 126 95 27 4
1242 You've never seen a dogfish? 1.2778 0.04994 126 98 21 7
1243 What can I tell you? I was hungry and it was delicious. 1.2773 0.05053 119 92 21 6
1244 Look...Melvin, even if I was a Golden Doodle, not funny. 1.2773 0.05192 119 93 19 7
1245 At last, the dogstronaut. 1.2773 0.05459 119 95 15 9
1246 Fishie? He's got the whole doghouse all to himself for a month before we swap back again. Do you think I got screwed? 1.2772 0.05288 101 77 20 4
1247 You binge watched "Tiny House" again didn't you? 1.2772 0.05472 101 78 18 5
1248 I’m tired of quarantining, too. 1.2772 0.05288 101 77 20 4
1249 ``If you even think about flushing me down the toilet, things are going to get very, very ugly.'' 1.2771 0.06015 83 64 15 4
1250 Well I guess this explains the goldfish floppin' around in the crate." 1.2768 0.05262 112 87 19 6
1251 I know this looks bad Carl. Honestly, I couldn't see the little fella, so I poked my head in to be sure. That's when I fell in. Can you help me get out now? 1.2766 0.05108 94 70 22 2
1252 Don't trust the fish 1.2766 0.05741 94 73 16 5
1253 Yeah… I don’t see Fred either. 1.2763 0.06649 76 60 11 5
1254 I’m the last existing miniature toy wolf who can speak… Why drown me, Jerry? 1.2762 0.05327 105 81 19 5
1255 The goldfish wanted to get out more and I like staying in. 1.2762 0.05152 105 80 21 4
1256 The gypsy couldn't make it. 1.2762 0.05327 105 81 19 5
1257 Now that I've walked in his shoes I see how wrong I was. 1.2762 0.05661 105 83 15 7
1258 Let’s play fetch the flakes. 1.2762 0.05327 105 81 19 5
1259 I told the pet shop I wanted a GUPPY in a fish bowl 1.2762 0.05327 105 81 19 5
1260 No, I'm just bowlsitting. He went for a walk. 1.2762 0.05496 105 82 17 6
1261 So I said to the fish, ‘You a genie? Ha Ha Ha’! 1.2761 0.04900 134 105 21 8
1262 So what if the goldfish doesn’t bark at the doorbell. It doesn’t fetch either. 1.2759 0.05279 116 91 18 7
1263 Don't blame me. You're the one who locked the bird cage. 1.2759 0.05135 116 90 20 6
1264 This isn’t how best friends would treat each other. 1.2759 0.06266 87 69 12 6
1265 I prefer my old dog bowl. 1.2759 0.04987 116 89 22 5
1266 Peter had always suspected the mail carrier was a witch. 1.2756 0.04959 127 99 21 7
1267 I told ya, whoever sold you a dogfish scammed you! 1.2755 0.05577 98 76 17 5
1268 The cat and I have kidnapped the fish. The cat wants a can of tuna and I want 3 dog biscuits for Goldie's return 1.2755 0.05577 98 76 17 5
1269 What you lookin at glasses? 1.2755 0.05385 98 75 19 4
1270 I love what you've done with the place, Bob, but this seems both a little fishy and not at all fishy at the same time. 1.2755 0.05186 98 74 21 3
1271 It happened when I won the lottery. 1.2755 0.05577 98 76 17 5
1272 If you're not going to walk me, at least put a little hydrant in here." 1.2755 0.05942 98 78 13 7
1273 Uh... it's a... dogfish? 1.2752 0.05510 109 86 16 7
1274 This is not what you think it is. 1.2750 0.05288 120 95 17 8
1275 I am working on my dog paddle! 1.2750 0.04874 120 92 23 5
1276 Prrr... it seemed like a good idea at the time. 1.2750 0.04728 120 91 25 4
1277 When I bark, it hurts my ears”. 1.2750 0.05288 120 95 17 8
1278 Do I kevtch when you yell fetch? 1.2750 0.06650 80 64 10 6
1279 We now get to sing, 'How Much Is That Doggie In The Window"? 1.2747 0.05861 91 71 15 5
1280 I lost a bet with the cat. 1.2747 0.05428 91 69 19 3
1281 Bubbles just stepped out. Can I take a message? 1.2747 0.05428 91 69 19 3
1282 How about this? Is this hypoallergenic enough for you? 1.2747 0.06264 91 73 11 7
1283 They said I needed a bowl, but this doesn't seem right. 1.2746 0.04257 142 107 31 4
1284 Please take me out. 1.2745 0.05054 102 77 22 3
1285 I was just watching the fish swim, and the next thing I knew his bowl was upside down with me inside... 1.2745 0.05771 102 81 14 7
1286 Seriously? A little dog hair on the couch is going to be a problem?" 1.2745 0.05771 102 81 14 7
1287 Okay, fine, I’ll use the damn crate. 1.2745 0.04858 102 76 24 2
1288 Well, to make a long story short, it's the cat's fault. 1.2745 0.05937 102 82 12 8
1289 I think the pet store screwed up your order. 1.2743 0.05221 113 88 19 6
1290 Never mind the fish. Is the dog gone? 1.2743 0.05657 113 91 13 9
1291 I'm on staycation. 1.2743 0.05067 113 87 21 5
1292 I seem to be mostly Goldie retriever. 1.2743 0.05067 113 87 21 5
1293 It started as a thought bubble. Now I can’t seem to escape it. 1.2742 0.04629 124 94 26 4
1294 Trust me it’s not that much better out here.” 1.2738 0.05706 84 64 17 3
1295 I know but my bark resonates. 1.2737 0.05881 95 75 14 6
1296 I can't tell you why or how, just that I've been here all morning. 1.2736 0.05451 106 83 17 6
1297 No, I don't think you'd win Best In Show on my planet. 1.2736 0.05613 106 84 15 7
1298 I suggest asking that 14 year old brat you raised. 1.2735 0.05239 117 92 18 7
1299 You don't want to see what's floating around when you shake this globe. 1.2735 0.05513 117 94 14 9
1300 You said to eat and drink only out of the bowl 1.2735 0.04949 117 90 22 5
1301 It's a basic concept of our system, dude, 'the presumption of innocence.' 1.2734 0.04535 128 97 27 4
1302 I hope you understand. I prefer social distancing right now. 1.2734 0.04309 139 105 30 4
1303 Think Ive been catfished 1.2734 0.04658 139 108 24 7
1304 Brilliant! This is NOT a water dish. 1.2727 0.04545 121 91 27 3
1305 Whatever you just leashed and took for a walk is dead, buddy. 1.2727 0.05710 99 78 15 6
1306 Just don’t look in the doghouse. 1.2727 0.05466 110 87 16 7
1307 You’ve been so forgetful lately. 1.2727 0.05311 110 86 18 6
1308 I had to get away from that damn cat! 1.2727 0.04545 121 91 27 3
1309 What can I say - I was thirsty… 1.2727 0.05116 121 95 19 7
1310 So, you forgot to fill my water bowl last night. 1.2727 0.05710 99 78 15 6
1311 You forgot to put out my water bowl! 1.2727 0.05249 121 96 17 8
1312 The pet store received your order, but AutoCorrect changed it from "goldfish" to "golden retriever." 1.2727 0.05988 88 69 14 5
1313 I realize you wanted a goldfish and your mother got you a dog but you have to let me out of here, you psychopath 1.2727 0.06203 88 70 12 6
1314 Welcome to my bubble! 1.2727 0.05988 88 69 14 5
1315 Heh heh! I’m just messing with your cat, mister. 1.2727 0.05888 99 79 13 7
1316 I used to be a goldfish. Now I'm working my way up to snow-globe Santa. 1.2727 0.05505 121 98 13 10
1317 This is not a Super Bowl. 1.2727 0.05535 88 67 18 3
1318 I chased the wrong tail. 1.2727 0.05710 99 78 15 6
1319 Yes, it's a little cramped but the view is spectacular! 1.2727 0.04839 121 93 23 5
1320 This isn’t what I meant when I said “I needed some space.” 1.2727 0.05766 88 68 16 4
1321 And I drank the water too. 1.2727 0.05311 110 86 18 6
1322 Algorithm shmalgorithm, can you please just start googling for the fix? 1.2719 0.05028 114 88 21 5
1323 OK, so I ate the goldfish! 1.2719 0.05180 114 89 19 6
1324 It was a phishing scam. 1.2718 0.05552 103 81 16 6
1325 Somehow getting a dog just couldn't replace the bond he had with his goldfish. 1.2718 0.05721 103 82 14 7
1326 I don’t know if my bubble got smaller or I got bigger, but I am double vaxxed and I want out! 1.2718 0.04616 103 76 26 1
1327 I could use some water. 1.2713 0.05014 129 102 19 8
1328 I don't think this is what they meant by "Give him his own special bowl." 1.2713 0.05133 129 103 17 9
1329 I don’t want to go to the moon Elon. 1.2712 0.05058 118 92 20 6
1330 It's my day off. The Goldfish is running around outside looking for squirrels. Get him to fetch something. 1.2712 0.05602 118 96 12 10
1331 Thanks, but it's not exactly what I mean't by a new dog bowl. 1.2710 0.05240 107 83 19 5
1332 No, I don't want any water. 1.2710 0.05405 107 84 17 6
1333 Goldie was always one step ahead of us, boss. 1.2708 0.05437 96 74 18 4
1334 I dare you to say rollover. 1.2708 0.05231 96 73 20 3
1335 Canine downsizing ends now! 1.2708 0.05231 96 73 20 3
1336 No problem about the mix up, and no harm done - but it may be too late for the fish. 1.2707 0.04906 133 105 20 8
1337 Glad you're back. The goldfish ran away and I have to pee like a racehorse. 1.2706 0.05891 85 66 15 4
1338 I just needed to know how the other half lived. 1.2706 0.05891 85 66 15 4
1339 On the other hand, I should be a lot less trouble when you leave for work. 1.2706 0.06124 85 67 13 5
1340 You have to admit,if I were a cat,this would have gone viral. 1.2706 0.06124 85 67 13 5
1341 Can you make it rain food for me, too? 1.2703 0.04779 111 84 24 3
1342 Oh "Dogfish", I get it. Like in I'm a dog, but I'm in a fish bowl. Dogfish. Hilarious. Now get me the fuck out of here. 1.2703 0.05269 111 87 18 6
1343 You're not very good at the having a pet thing, are you. 1.2703 0.05269 111 87 18 6
1344 I’m tired of living in a fish bowl.” 1.2700 0.05478 100 78 17 5
1345 People who live in glass houses shouldn't. 1.2700 0.05291 100 77 19 4
1346 You never should have fed me tunafish 1.2700 0.05835 100 80 13 7
1347 I ate the ship. 1.2698 0.04835 126 98 22 6
1348 Fish? What fish? 1.2697 0.06140 89 71 12 6
1349 This is safer than a mask! 1.2697 0.05929 89 70 14 5
1350 I think you missed the point about a low maintenance pet. 1.2696 0.04990 115 89 21 5
1351 Is this a better place to poop than your carpet? 1.2696 0.04835 115 88 23 4
1352 In the other room was a goldfish, on a plush bed, having a very bad day. 1.2692 0.05155 104 80 20 4
1353 Now what do we do,smart guy! 1.2692 0.05333 104 81 18 5
1354 ...just a little thirsty and got carried away... 1.2692 0.05333 104 81 18 5
1355 It’s Pavlov’s Bell. Not Plath’s ‘Bell Jar’. 1.2692 0.05834 104 84 12 8
1356 Until you get your shots, Harry, I’m afraid this is how it’s got to be. 1.2692 0.05672 104 83 14 7
1357 I'm house sitting this weekend for the turtles. 1.2692 0.05672 104 83 14 7
1358 Harold, you should have gone with me. Best party ever!!! 1.2688 0.06142 93 75 11 7
1359 If you had eyes, you would see how wrong this is. 1.2688 0.05542 93 72 17 4
1360 What fish? It wasn't me." 1.2688 0.05542 93 72 17 4
1361 I should not have hired a magician to train my dog 1.2688 0.05103 93 70 21 2
1362 I was going for transparency. 1.2688 0.05749 93 73 15 5
1363 Just till mommy gets back from walking the fish. 1.2685 0.05520 108 86 15 7
1364 Breakfast was great...What's for dinner? 1.2685 0.05197 108 84 19 5
1365 This isn’t the dog bowl I ordered. 1.2683 0.05501 82 62 18 2
1366 I was thirsty and then, well . . . 1.2680 0.05388 97 75 18 4
1367 Like you've never been caught with your hand in the cookie jar. 1.2680 0.05956 97 78 12 7
1368 You've misinterpreted my desire for attention. 1.2680 0.05584 97 76 16 5
1369 I ate the damn fish. I drank the damn water. Of COURSE I wanna go out! 1.2680 0.05388 97 75 18 4
1370 Something is definitely fishy here. 1.2680 0.05773 97 77 14 6
1371 You're new to pet ownership, aren't you? 1.2680 0.05185 97 74 20 3
1372 I need to poop. 1.2679 0.05810 112 92 10 10
1373 What fish? I didn't see no fish! 1.2679 0.04743 112 85 24 3
1374 This is where a three second memory would come in handy. 1.2679 0.05071 112 87 20 5
1375 How America won the Space Race 1.2677 0.04670 127 98 24 5
1376 For both our sakes, please don’t make me poop in here. 1.2674 0.05830 86 67 15 4
1377 I'm your best friend Michael, but there are limits. 1.2673 0.05245 101 78 19 4
1378 I ate that jalapeno you dropped, my water bowl was empty, and then ... well, I guess I lost my mind. I didn't even know I liked fish! 1.2673 0.05952 101 82 11 8
1379 The cat lured me in here. 1.2672 0.05246 116 92 17 7
1380 Is this a trick? 1.2672 0.04952 116 90 21 5
1381 I told the you the housing bubble was going to be a problem. 1.2672 0.04798 116 89 23 4
1382 The goldfish was easy; it was drinking all the water that was hard. 1.2672 0.04640 116 88 25 3
1383 Not coming out 'til you show me your vaccine passport or put on a K95, Pal. 1.2672 0.04575 131 101 25 5
1384 Well, have you checked the toilet bowl? 1.2672 0.04702 131 102 23 6
1385 Don't just stand there! Go get that fish that did this. 1.2667 0.04607 135 105 24 6
1386 You're right. It adds a whole new perspective to the value of being house broken. 1.2667 0.04386 120 90 28 2
1387 It was always about how to sit, not where to sit. 1.2667 0.05653 90 70 16 4
1388 There is a perfectly reasonable explanation. 1.2667 0.06079 90 72 12 6
1389 No. No dessert, thanks. 1.2667 0.06079 90 72 12 6
1390 Odd Bob and His Terrierrarium 1.2667 0.05288 105 82 18 5
1391 Hi Gary, yes I'm Sam and I want you to go back into the space ship and get the Amazon dude but leave Shatner alone. 1.2667 0.05940 105 86 10 9
1392 So this is my new dog bowl? 1.2667 0.04841 120 93 22 5
1393 Me and the guppy did a house swap. 1.2661 0.05006 124 98 19 7
1394 I did the research...it IS safe to put goldfish in here! 1.2661 0.04451 124 94 27 3
1395 Until you start wearing a mask... 1.2661 0.04988 109 84 21 4
1396 We're filming the sequel to "The Cat Who Swallowed the Canary". 1.2661 0.05155 109 85 19 5
1397 I don't care what you think you heard. I am not a GUPPY. 1.2661 0.05317 109 86 17 6
1398 Catfish not exotic enough for you, huh? 1.2661 0.05155 109 85 19 5
1399 I'm pretty sure that I'm not a fish. 1.2661 0.05155 109 85 19 5
1400 I can still chase my tail. 1.2661 0.05155 109 85 19 5
1401 It happens when you over-feed a dogfish. 1.2661 0.04988 109 84 21 4
1402 Magic 8-Ball says "LET ME OUT!" 1.2661 0.05628 109 88 13 8
1403 It beat drinking out of the toilet until I fell in. 1.2660 0.05695 94 74 15 5
1404 If I'm in the goldfish bowl, then Gill must be in the...you monster! 1.2660 0.05695 94 74 15 5
1405 I don't think you understand the meaning of "Dog Bowl" 1.2660 0.05278 94 72 19 3
1406 Your last pet may have forgotten but I know I’m a dog 1.2660 0.05490 94 73 17 4
1407 Blame Facebook, Darwin and our therapist. 1.2660 0.05695 94 74 15 5
1408 I ordered a dog bowl from the pet store and this is what they sent me ? 1.2658 0.04527 158 126 22 10
1409 Just as I thought. It's worse to be in the fish house. 1.2657 0.04650 143 113 22 8
1410 It's too cold to pee in the snow, so this is my solution. 1.2656 0.04638 128 99 24 5
1411 Another fish and water please. 1.2656 0.04638 128 99 24 5
1412 Now be a good boy and fetch me a thought bubble.” 1.2656 0.04769 128 100 22 6
1413 We'll go for a walk when you've had your second shot. 1.2655 0.04872 113 87 22 4
1414 Just rub the bowl! 1.2655 0.05031 113 88 20 5
1415 Can we focus on your syntax? 1.2655 0.05186 113 89 18 6
1416 It's the wrong bowl, dummy 1.2655 0.05482 113 91 14 8
1417 Reply hazy, try again. Woof! 1.2655 0.05031 113 88 20 5
1418 You wouldn't believe how thirsty I was. 1.2655 0.05031 113 88 20 5
1419 And you've housebroken the fish? 1.2655 0.05031 113 88 20 5
1420 You watch and control everything I do, so I might as well live in a fish bowl. 1.2653 0.05340 98 76 18 4
1421 Teacup. Teacup terrier. 1.2653 0.05533 98 77 16 5
1422 you can shed in there all you want 1.2653 0.05340 98 76 18 4
1423 First teacup dogs and now this? 1.2653 0.05533 98 77 16 5
1424 Guessing you’re not a read-the-directions kind of guy. 1.2653 0.05533 98 77 16 5
1425 I should have worried more when you shrunk the kids! 1.2653 0.05720 98 78 14 6
1426 Break glass in case of squirrels. 1.2652 0.04793 132 104 21 7
1427 Your goldfish tasted nothing like the crackers 1.2650 0.05346 117 94 15 8
1428 I promise I won't pee on the rug ever again. 1.2650 0.05206 117 93 17 7
1429 I was expecting a doghouse. 1.2650 0.05482 117 95 13 9
1430 Think Globally, act locally 1.2650 0.04763 117 90 23 4
1431 I meant a dog bowl for food. 1.2650 0.04915 117 91 21 5
1432 What? He was taunting me! 1.2647 0.05200 102 79 19 4
1433 I promise I won't chew the couch & more... 1.2647 0.05561 102 81 15 6
1434 The cat could never do this! 1.2647 0.04577 136 106 24 6
1435 We'll See What Happens When I Escape, Bob. 1.2647 0.05561 102 81 15 6
1436 If I stay in here too long, then urine trouble. 1.2645 0.05084 121 96 18 7
1437 You should see the blizzards I get in here. 1.2645 0.04947 121 95 20 6
1438 I said i wanted a "New Ball"...Ball! 1.2644 0.05288 87 66 19 2
1439 You're already plotting about how to monetize how cute this is, aren't you? 1.2644 0.05771 87 68 15 4
1440 What happened to the previous tenant? 1.2644 0.05535 87 67 17 3
1441 It's really very simple. 1.2642 0.05244 106 83 18 5
1442 Maybe I need to reconsider the crate? 1.2642 0.04889 106 81 22 3
1443 God you’re ugly. 1.2642 0.05412 106 84 16 6
1444 Bezos' said I'd come back different. 1.2640 0.04703 125 97 23 5
1445 Global warming: no snow! 1.2640 0.04970 125 99 19 7
1446 If you had two eyes you would plainly see the pet store ripped us both off. 1.2637 0.06019 91 73 12 6
1447 I need a undo! 1.2637 0.05813 91 72 14 5
1448 I've never enjoyed a crate so bright, so airy, with three hundred and sixty degree views. 1.2637 0.05376 91 70 18 3
1449 If my calculations are correct, he should only have a memory of 21 seconds. 1.2637 0.05144 91 69 20 2
1450 I think the question is "How do I get OUT?". 1.2637 0.06019 91 73 12 6
1451 Arf! Arexa! Range rannel! 1.2632 0.06025 95 77 11 7
1452 But just think how cool the fish looks in my doghouse. 1.2632 0.04992 114 89 20 5
1453 I’ll come play when you get vaccinated, that’s when. 1.2632 0.05837 95 76 13 6
1454 Did you even do any research? Everyone knows that the dogfish is a salt-water creature. 1.2632 0.04834 114 88 22 4
1455 I get it. I'm not your best friend anymore. 1.2632 0.05641 95 75 15 5
1456 So,where’s your mask? 1.2632 0.05439 95 74 17 4
1457 Walkies? 1.2632 0.04992 114 89 20 5
1458 You need to understand that we goldfish are not just of one cookie-cutter format. 1.2632 0.05641 95 75 15 5
1459 Melvin, what if this is as good as it gets? 1.2627 0.05025 118 93 19 6
1460 So what? You wanted a puppy, I wanted a guppy. 1.2626 0.04671 99 74 24 1
1461 I was thirsty and I had a craving for sushi. 1.2626 0.05668 99 79 14 6
1462 Goldfish? What goldfish? I only wanted some water. 1.2626 0.05292 99 77 18 4
1463 What are you doing out there? 1.2626 0.05292 99 77 18 4
1464 I wanted to see what the world looks like from the inside. 1.2626 0.05483 99 78 16 5
1465 Please, I don't need a lecture right now. 1.2625 0.05831 80 62 15 3
1466 And who's the liar now, Mr. 'You're really in the doghouse this time' 1.2625 0.05553 80 61 17 2
1467 I'm not okay with this metaverse stuff. 1.2623 0.05047 122 97 18 7
1468 If I had any idea how special that fish was to you, I would have never eaten it. 1.2623 0.04911 122 96 20 6
1469 who's a good bowl? you are! 1.2623 0.04911 122 96 20 6
1470 Is this because I ate your slippers? 1.2621 0.05847 103 84 11 8
1471 If you don't get me outta here soon, you're going to see one hell of a disgusting bowl. 1.2621 0.05512 103 82 15 6
1472 I told you not to take that hallucinogen. 1.2621 0.05682 103 83 13 7
1473 Dorothy was wrong. 1.2621 0.05337 103 81 17 5
1474 Yeah, and I'm going to continue living in a bubble until you wear a mask at home. 1.2621 0.04967 103 79 21 3
1475 That blank look on your face leads me to believe you might be new at dog ownership. 1.2621 0.05512 103 82 15 6
1476 The cat chased the fish. I chased the cat. But now I see that I was being 'set-up' all along. 1.2621 0.04487 145 114 24 7
1477 Okay, I drank all the water and ate the fish--now can you get me out of here? 1.2619 0.04935 126 100 19 7
1478 Micro -size pet "they said" , you will love it! Never have to leave the house to walk it! 1.2619 0.05896 84 66 14 4
1479 Ok,Ok, I'll get vacinated. 1.2619 0.06135 84 67 12 5
1480 I'll tell you where the fish is if you get me out of here. 1.2617 0.04664 107 81 24 2
1481 I'm sorry I ate the goldfish. Can you get me out of here now? 1.2617 0.05367 107 85 16 6
1482 Don’t worry, this is still much roomier than my old apartment in New York. 1.2617 0.05200 107 84 18 5
1483 He wanted me to tell thanks but captivity just wasn't for him, but as you can see, I'm good with it. 1.2617 0.05529 107 86 14 7
1484 What are you looking at? At least I'm not in the doghouse. 1.2617 0.05200 107 84 18 5
1485 Well Bud, think it's better than being in a pickle." 1.2615 0.04829 130 103 20 7
1486 The fish got a castle. Just sayin' . 1.2614 0.05937 88 70 13 5
1487 I don’t throw stones….. 1.2614 0.05480 88 68 17 3
1488 YOU WERE EXPECTING A CATFISH? 1.2614 0.05480 88 68 17 3
1489 the goldfish did it 1.2614 0.05713 88 69 15 4
1490 Honestly, I'm finding the transition to post-Covid life pretty difficult. 1.2613 0.04739 111 85 23 3
1491 I need a lawyer and a walk. 1.2613 0.05073 111 87 19 5
1492 OK, I get it. You really wanted a fish. Well, tough. Now get me out of here. 1.2613 0.05386 111 89 15 7
1493 When I raise my leg and do my business, everything runs down the glass and I've nowhere to sit. 1.2613 0.05386 111 89 15 7
1494 Second dog in space will still give me a boost in followers 1.2609 0.04797 115 89 22 4
1495 Not even a doggie door? 1.2609 0.05756 92 73 14 5
1496 I asked for a doghouse, not a 'revolution in architecture.' 1.2609 0.05545 92 72 16 4
1497 I was much thinner before I ate all the goldfish. 1.2609 0.05960 92 74 12 6
1498 I met him for lunch but haven’t seen him since then 1.2609 0.05545 92 72 16 4
1499 DON'T TELL ME YOU ARE GOING TO PUT WATER IN HERE! 1.2609 0.04636 115 88 24 3
1500 I identify with being a gold fish. 1.2609 0.04954 115 90 20 5
1501 This is not what I envisioned when you said you'd put me in the dog-house 1.2609 0.04797 115 89 22 4
1502 That's not what "terrarium" means. 1.2605 0.04987 119 94 19 6
1503 You need new glasses. 1.2604 0.05182 96 74 19 3
1504 Hey, Goldie's actually not my name anymore, I go by Rover now. 1.2604 0.06325 96 80 7 9
1505 When you said "I'm kind of a goldfish person," I didn't grasp the full implications. 1.2604 0.05782 96 77 13 6
1506 Here's looking at you, kid! 1.2604 0.05389 96 75 17 4
1507 Then my fin turned long and furry, these ears popped out, and, finally, the gills disappeared. Please Mr Darwin, let me now walk the earth. 1.2603 0.06177 73 57 13 3
1508 I’ll still shed. 1.2600 0.05245 100 78 18 4
1509 I drank the water and ate the fish, but I can’t get out. 1.2600 0.05049 100 77 20 3
1510 Do I look like a goldfish? 1.2600 0.05245 100 78 18 4
1511 Don't look at me like that, it's not my fault the fish bowl looked comfy 1.2600 0.05794 100 81 12 7
1512 This is not what I mean when I asked for a dog bowl. 1.2600 0.05049 100 77 20 3
1513 This is better than being a Chia dog. 1.2600 0.04632 100 75 24 1
1514 So, where is the goldfish? 1.2598 0.04771 127 100 21 6
1515 Warning: Objects in your glass eye may appear larger than they are 1.2597 0.06243 77 61 12 4
1516 Not what I envisioned when you wanted me to play ball 1.2596 0.05291 104 82 17 5
1517 I dunno. The goldfish said, "you're next buddy" and cackled. And here I am. 1.2596 0.05465 104 83 15 6
1518 C'mon... I'm not a beta—I'm an alpha! 1.2596 0.05112 104 81 19 4
1519 ... and then the cat drank all the water. 1.2596 0.05633 104 84 13 7
1520 Yep, new breed, mini Portuguese water dog. 1.2596 0.05291 104 82 17 5
1521 I will come for you in the night 1.2593 0.06280 81 65 11 5
1522 How many time do I have to tell you. I am not a fish. 1.2593 0.04987 108 84 20 4
1523 Kitty Karma 1.2593 0.04456 135 105 25 5
1524 Due to the supply chain crisis teacups are no longer available 1.2593 0.04987 108 84 20 4
1525 I'm minding the bowl while the goldfish is on holiday! 1.2593 0.05205 81 61 19 1
1526 Honey, I said guppy not puppy. 1.2593 0.04810 108 83 22 3
1527 I can't see this working Mr Schrodinger 1.2589 0.05492 112 91 13 8
1528 Look, the goldfish is history. Get me the hell out of here! 1.2588 0.05589 85 66 16 3
1529 A fish bowl by any other name is a fish bowl. 1.2588 0.06070 85 68 12 5
1530 This isn't what I meant when I said the water bowl was empty. 1.2588 0.06070 85 68 12 5
1531 If I fits, I sits. 1.2588 0.05835 85 67 14 4
1532 I'm gonna take the fish for a walk. 1.2586 0.05212 116 93 16 7
1533 I live in a fish bowl. You live in an Alien’s simulation game. Yet you make fun of me? 1.2586 0.05066 116 92 18 6
1534 Like you’ve never snacked on those tasty goldfish before 1.2586 0.04601 116 89 24 3
1535 Herman’s pet dogfish. 1.2586 0.04761 116 90 22 4
1536 Please put some water in the bowl. I want to do my laps. 1.2584 0.05878 89 71 13 5
1537 His goldfish didn’t have a memory, but I do, and he’ll pay for this. 1.2584 0.05656 89 70 15 4
1538 It sounds trite, but whatever, "Take me to your leader!" 1.2584 0.05878 89 71 13 5
1539 When you ordered a dog bowl but got the bowl dog instead. 1.2584 0.06091 89 72 11 6
1540 I’ll say this about Dusty and Lefty, they had good taste. 1.2584 0.05426 89 69 17 3
1541 Guessing I'm not the Dogfish you asked for. 1.2583 0.04506 120 92 25 3
1542 First fish, then cats. Honestly, it's a little sad you didn't see this one coming. 1.2581 0.04841 124 98 20 6
1543 I’m from the future, my name is Shiba Inu. 1.2581 0.04704 124 97 22 5
1544 break in case of emergency 1.2581 0.04841 124 98 20 6
1545 Evolution of the dog fish 1.2581 0.05492 93 73 16 4
1546 I’m a Goldfishdoodle! I don’t shed, I’m great with children, and when I die you can just flush me down the toilet. 1.2581 0.05902 93 75 12 6
1547 Hello earthling. I come in peace. But it was a long journey. I just need to be walked. 1.2581 0.05275 93 72 18 3
1548 What water? 1.2581 0.05492 93 73 16 4
1549 The fish called in sick. 1.2581 0.05275 93 72 18 3
1550 What can I say - the gold fish dared me .. 1.2581 0.05492 93 73 16 4
1551 You can take the ball out of the doggie but you can’t take the doggie out of the ball... 1.2577 0.05340 97 76 17 4
1552 So now what? 1.2577 0.05728 97 78 13 6
1553 You really need to take me out more. I feel like I'm living in a fishbowl. 1.2577 0.05728 97 78 13 6
1554 I'll bet you think this is all a big joke, don't you? 1.2577 0.05538 97 77 15 5
1555 Your cat told me to, that's who. 1.2577 0.05340 97 76 17 4
1556 We need to get out more. 1.2574 0.05387 101 80 16 5
1557 I had to drink the water to catch the fish. Now, can you help me get out?? 1.2574 0.05200 101 79 18 4
1558 Yeah........so? 1.2574 0.05200 101 79 18 4
1559 Just because you feel like a hamster on a wheel in your cubicle all week doesn’t mean I need to be miserable. 1.2574 0.05200 101 79 18 4
1560 Did you put the fish in my bed? 1.2571 0.05246 105 83 17 5
1561 I see chewed slippers in your future. 1.2571 0.05418 105 84 15 6
1562 I don't care if I get fleas. I need to live my life. 1.2571 0.05069 105 82 19 4
1563 How many times do I have to tell you: I’m a Golden Doodle not a Golden Fish. 1.2571 0.05246 105 83 17 5
1564 Wouldn't it be easier if you just got vaccinated? 1.2571 0.05069 105 82 19 4
1565 At first, it didn't seem like a bad trade. 1.2571 0.05418 105 84 15 6
1566 They taste a lot better than the dog food you've been giving me. 1.2569 0.05116 109 86 18 5
1567 No, I'm not trying to be coy 1.2569 0.05592 109 89 12 8
1568 ...and can we please drop the Instagram account? 1.2569 0.04947 109 85 20 4
1569 And then she stomped off ….. 1.2569 0.05116 109 86 18 5
1570 I should never have been drawn to this situation. 1.2568 0.06103 74 58 13 3
1571 Might we instead focus on the fact that Bubbles is on the loose? 1.2568 0.06682 74 60 9 5
1572 See, not every evolution needs millions of years 1.2566 0.05149 113 90 17 6
1573 Get help. 1.2566 0.04993 113 89 19 5
1574 It's time for my walk 1.2566 0.05149 113 90 17 6
1575 I didn't eat the gold fish and drink all the water. The cat did. 1.2566 0.04833 113 88 21 4
1576 Yes your fish is gone, but let’s focus on the positive: you have a very hydrated cat. 1.2564 0.04879 117 92 20 5
1577 Grab your phone and film me,Barry; I’m going viral! 1.2564 0.06689 78 64 8 6
1578 It tasted like chicken 1.2564 0.05028 117 93 18 6
1579 Things are going swimmingly 1.2561 0.06211 82 66 11 5
1580 This is not what I had in mind when you were talking about a dog bowl. 1.2558 0.05774 86 68 14 4
1581 I think you know I’m not a fish you hippo. 1.2558 0.05013 86 65 20 1
1582 You never like feeding them anyway. 1.2556 0.05600 90 71 15 4
1583 That on-line registration for this year’s Puppy Bowl was a bit fishy. 1.2556 0.05819 90 72 13 5
1584 When you splash out the water we can't dog paddle. 1.2556 0.05600 90 71 15 4
1585 I'm a goldfish retriever, now go get me some water 1.2556 0.05600 90 71 15 4
1586 I’m tired of the fish food 1.2556 0.05600 90 71 15 4
1587 I’ll be a good boy. I won’t throw anymore stones. 1.2553 0.05846 94 76 12 6
1588 I'm a mirage. I've always been a mirage. 1.2553 0.05846 94 76 12 6
1589 It was him or me. 1.2553 0.05226 94 73 18 3
1590 I told you I am fully vaccinated. 1.2553 0.05226 94 73 18 3
1591 I need global awareness! 1.2553 0.06038 94 77 10 7
1592 Goldfish are delicious. You should try one sometime. 1.2551 0.05676 98 79 13 6
1593 I really don't know how you got into that thing, it doesn't make any sense? Your head is waaaaaay to big for that sweater!! 1.2551 0.05292 98 77 17 4
1594 You pay more attention to the damned fish! So I got rid of them. 1.2551 0.05487 98 78 15 5
1595 Nemo put up a good fight. 1.2551 0.05089 98 76 19 3
1596 I know what you're thinking. Water dog or cat fish? 1.2551 0.05089 98 76 19 3
1597 Surrender Dorothy! 1.2551 0.05676 98 79 13 6
1598 You gotta rub me the right way. 1.2549 0.05155 102 80 18 4
1599 The fish was taunting me. I had to. 1.2549 0.04763 102 78 22 2
1600 I'm an alpha dog, not a beta fish, please 1.2549 0.04763 102 78 22 2
1601 Didn’t expect the new yapper zapper to work quite like this. 1.2549 0.05518 102 82 14 6
1602 Sorry, but bringing metaphors to life is more of a cat thing. 1.2549 0.05340 102 81 16 5
1603 I'm really, Really, REALLY sorry about the new carpet. 1.2547 0.04845 106 82 21 3
1604 No, I don't necessarily like fish, it's just that I'm a small dog with a bit thirst. 1.2547 0.04845 106 82 21 3
1605 It's an echo chamber. I sound 10 times bigger when I bark from in here 1.2547 0.05372 106 85 15 6
1606 I'm practicing in case Bezos picks me for his next space shot. 1.2544 0.04795 114 89 21 4
1607 O.K., now it’s your turn to hide. 1.2544 0.04631 114 88 23 3
1608 Dale was impressed to see his wife finally found a replacement for their teacup poodle. 1.2542 0.04842 118 93 20 5
1609 Fido, perhaps you have taken social distancing a bit too far. 1.2542 0.05272 118 96 14 8
1610 Well, after all the fish I was pretty thirsty ... 1.2542 0.04990 118 94 18 6
1611 And, in addition, I can’t say for sure what happened to the fish. 1.2542 0.04371 118 90 26 2
1612 This isn’t what I meant when I asked for a water bed. 1.2542 0.05408 118 97 12 9
1613 I promise never to eat the fish food again. 1.2541 0.04737 122 96 21 5
1614 I'm really conflicted, but it was worth it. 1.2540 0.05032 126 102 16 8
1615 Plan ahead--this terrarium idea is gonna stink! 1.2536 0.04491 138 109 23 6
1616 Admittedly, the goldfish won the battle. 1.2533 0.06031 75 59 13 3
1617 You'll grow out of it! 1.2532 0.06101 79 63 12 4
1618 I ate the cat. 1.2532 0.06101 79 63 12 4
1619 You know that fish aren't man's best friend? 1.2532 0.06612 79 65 8 6
1620 Sink or swim Dan, sink or swim. 1.2530 0.05645 83 65 15 3
1621 Gaze in to the crystal bowl; now feed me. 1.2530 0.05645 83 65 15 3
1622 Sorry, I tested positive for the Covid-19 virus. 1.2530 0.05098 83 63 19 1
1623 Just have the memory of a goldfish and it will be okay. 1.2530 0.05899 83 66 13 4
1624 Don't blame me, the fish did it.. 1.2530 0.05899 83 66 13 4
1625 You’ve been engaging in some risky behavior…I just feel safer in isolation. 1.2529 0.06165 87 71 10 6
1626 I did NOT eat the fish; he jumped into my mouth. 1.2529 0.05715 87 69 14 4
1627 Quack! 1.2529 0.05944 87 70 12 5
1628 Well, if you won't wear a mask ... 1.2529 0.05226 87 67 18 2
1629 Do you believe in reincarnation? 1.2529 0.05715 87 69 14 4
1630 I feel safer in my bubble, thanks. 1.2527 0.05546 91 72 15 4
1631 What? You weren’t home and I was hungry - so sue me! 1.2527 0.05321 91 71 17 3
1632 And I suppose the goldfish lives in my doghouse now. 1.2527 0.05321 91 71 17 3
1633 I'm a guppy puppy.what else? 1.2526 0.05593 95 76 14 5
1634 No, by adding water I will not become a dog fish! 1.2526 0.05389 95 75 16 4
1635 I think it's time to try a harness. 1.2526 0.05593 95 76 14 5
1636 I'll play along if this will let you get over your old dogfish. 1.2525 0.05044 99 77 19 3
1637 Don’t just stand there staring. Do something. 1.2525 0.05979 99 82 9 8
1638 If you let me out for the Iditarod, I’ll grant you three wishes 1.2525 0.05438 99 79 15 5
1639 It's your fault. My water bowl has been empty for days. 1.2525 0.05245 99 78 17 4
1640 I still have to pee. 1.2525 0.05245 99 78 17 4
1641 My empathy therapist recommended it. 1.2525 0.05804 99 81 11 7
1642 If you let me out of here, I can grant you three poop-related wishes 1.2525 0.05044 99 77 19 3
1643 Pardon me sir. Where will I find the bathroom? 1.2524 0.05293 103 82 16 5
1644 He'll be right back, just burying something in the back yard. 1.2524 0.05470 103 83 14 6
1645 So the genie granted me three wishes, this was the first one. Now as for you... 1.2524 0.05808 103 85 10 8
1646 It’s called a ‘Furarium’ 1.2524 0.05470 103 83 14 6
1647 Fish are so OVER! 1.2524 0.05110 103 81 18 4
1648 T Your goldfish is in the backyard burying a bone 1.2524 0.05110 103 81 18 4
1649 It's small, but I like the three hundred and sixty-degree view and the fish smell. 1.2524 0.05110 103 81 18 4
1650 I think you should know that the fish was tasty but a little watered down. 1.2523 0.05159 107 85 17 5
1651 I still have to go for a walk! 1.2523 0.04985 107 84 19 4
1652 You could be a snow globe for the UConn Huskies. 1.2523 0.04985 107 84 19 4
1653 Not until you're vaccinated. 1.2523 0.05500 111 91 12 8
1654 I ate the little shits and drank all the water. What's it to you? 1.2522 0.04916 115 91 19 5
1655 Good luck with getting the leash on him. 1.2522 0.04759 115 90 21 4
1656 Apple’s new smart speaker responds to voice commands if you establish dominance first. 1.2522 0.05217 115 93 15 7
1657 If you sprinkle food on me again, I'm eating the hamster. 1.2520 0.05119 127 104 14 9
1658 Just because I refuse to wear a mask? 1.2500 0.05389 100 80 15 5
1659 You went down the wrong aisle at the pet store again. 1.2500 0.05322 84 65 17 2
1660 Nothing like a cool drink with your meal. 1.2500 0.05038 92 71 19 2
1661 You never heard of a dogfish? 1.2500 0.05389 100 80 15 5
1662 While staring at his puppy in the fishbowl Jim began to realize just how thankful he was for TV. 1.2500 0.05573 100 81 13 6
1663 We were out of cat treats. 1.2500 0.05283 108 87 15 6
1664 You vaccinated? 1.2500 0.05306 112 91 14 7
1665 Is this your way of criticizing my attention span? 1.2500 0.05389 100 80 15 5
1666 Master, grant me one request. An Uber to the shelter. 1.2500 0.05339 76 58 17 1
1667 We both need to come out of our comfort zone 1.2500 0.04484 112 86 24 2
1668 It's true what they say- nowhere to hide a slipper. 1.2500 0.05492 92 73 15 4
1669 I told you he was a fraud! He said he'd turn me into a goldfish. 1.2500 0.04944 108 85 19 4
1670 So how did walking the goldfish turn out? 1.2500 0.05541 96 77 14 5
1671 It's just until the vacuuming is done 1.2500 0.04994 112 89 18 5
1672 Goldfish is just the larval stage. 1.2500 0.04483 132 104 23 5
1673 The fish tricked me 1.2500 0.04911 96 74 20 2
1674 It was after I opened a Facebook account that I realized I enjoy living in a goldfish bowl. 1.2500 0.05046 84 64 19 1
1675 We need a sabbatical. 1.2500 0.05248 104 83 16 5
1676 I know you named me Fish, but seriously... 1.2500 0.06289 80 65 10 5
1677 Google it. 1.2500 0.04994 112 89 18 5
1678 Drank the water, ate the fish; now I'm too big to get out! 1.2500 0.05152 112 90 16 6
1679 I know. Don't worry, it's transitory. 1.2500 0.05705 92 74 13 5
1680 Who are you going to believe? Me or your own eyes? 1.2500 0.05339 96 76 16 4
1681 That’s your punishment for swallowing the fish 1.2500 0.05389 100 80 15 5
1682 You can't get COVID from a dog, I promise. 1.2500 0.05198 100 79 17 4
1683 I am empathizing. 1.2500 0.05389 100 80 15 5
1684 In this space I can chase my tail all day long and not indulge in your needs. 1.2500 0.04622 120 94 22 4
1685 In here I don’t need a mask 1.2500 0.04830 112 88 20 4
1686 Thanks for changing my bowl to self-serve! 1.2500 0.05541 96 77 14 5
1687 They told me it was a fish but I dunno... 1.2500 0.05339 96 76 16 4
1688 I told you. Don’t invite Ricky Jay! 1.2500 0.05851 72 56 14 2
1689 What's wrong? You never heard a goldfish say, "Arf?" 1.2500 0.05585 84 66 15 3
1690 Look Boss this just isn’t working! You have to hire a dog walker. 1.2500 0.05573 100 81 13 6
1691 They did tell you I was a dogfish, didn't they? 1.2500 0.05421 88 69 16 3
1692 Can you help me work on my pronounciation? I asked for a better growl for a hound, but that dumb genie obviously understood 'get a bowl all around'. 1.2500 0.04944 108 85 19 4
1693 The risk in pursuing the goldfish 1.2500 0.04944 108 85 19 4
1694 You said fetch, I thought you said fish! 1.2500 0.05130 96 75 18 3
1695 You’re the one living in a bubble, Dave. 1.2500 0.05421 88 69 16 3
1696 You don’t have to walk me but cleaning my bowl won’t be pleasant 1.2500 0.04879 104 81 20 3
1697 Don't you think your reaction is a bit extreme? 1.2500 0.05248 104 83 16 5
1698 Sometimes you eat the fish and sometimes the fishbowl eats you. 1.2500 0.04684 104 80 22 2
1699 The goldfish challenge. It’s the latest thing on Tik Toc 1.2500 0.05657 88 70 14 4
1700 What do you mean - something's fishy? 1.2500 0.06289 80 65 10 5
1701 Now he'll only eat wet dog food. 1.2500 0.04879 116 92 19 5
1702 Me? It was your suggestion I dine-in 1.2500 0.05541 96 77 14 5
1703 If you help me out, I'll say it's me who keeps missing the toilet. 1.2500 0.05421 88 69 16 3
1704 Sorry, you are no longer in my bubble." 1.2500 0.04766 108 84 21 3
1705 Shake it and my dander looks like snow. 1.2500 0.04581 108 83 23 2
1706 It's water weight. 1.2500 0.05130 96 75 18 3
1707 I'm not living in a fish bowl. You are! 1.2481 0.04453 133 105 23 5
1708 A bit salty, but a great appetizer. 1.2481 0.04407 129 101 24 4
1709 The goldfish moved upstate. 1.2480 0.04198 125 96 27 2
1710 I don't get why the fish complain, I personally, love the attention 1.2479 0.04736 121 96 20 5
1711 Feel free to add some tasty fish. 1.2478 0.04792 113 89 20 4
1712 Where did you put the goldfish Bob? 1.2478 0.04792 113 89 20 4
1713 I was thirsty too. 1.2478 0.04792 113 89 20 4
1714 Glub? 1.2477 0.04728 109 85 21 3
1715 I went pescatarian. 1.2477 0.05074 109 87 17 5
1716 ‘Me dog ,you idiot .’ 1.2477 0.05074 109 87 17 5
1717 Be back in a bit, taking the goldfish out for a swim. 1.2477 0.04904 109 86 19 4
1718 I don't think this is what they meant by dog bowl. 1.2477 0.05074 109 87 17 5
1719 I evolved overnight. 1.2477 0.04904 109 86 19 4
1720 So what happens when you turn me over? 1.2476 0.04838 105 82 20 3
1721 I just feel safer in here. 1.2476 0.05024 105 83 18 4
1722 If you think this is a good way to house train me you are WRONG! 1.2476 0.05203 105 84 16 5
1723 Don’t worry, you’re not hallucinating, I’m a hologram. 1.2476 0.04838 105 82 20 3
1724 Just wait until Mom comes home. 1.2475 0.05341 101 81 15 5
1725 You always paid more attention to that stupid goldfish than you did to me, so I figured ... 1.2475 0.05700 101 83 11 7
1726 What came first? The chicken or the egg? 1.2475 0.04956 101 79 19 3
1727 Next time, think haddock. 1.2475 0.04956 101 79 19 3
1728 Now watch me roll over 1.2475 0.05523 101 82 13 6
1729 No cat food,no water. What did you expect? 1.2475 0.05152 101 80 17 4
1730 There's a goldfish shortage. 1.2475 0.05341 101 81 15 5
1731 Is fetching still expected? 1.2475 0.05152 101 80 17 4
1732 I don't wanna go to the vet and you can't make me. 1.2475 0.04956 101 79 19 3
1733 Now there Fido, you can poop in there all you want! 1.2474 0.05290 97 77 16 4
1734 First I need to see a Covid tag around your neck. 1.2474 0.05083 97 76 18 3
1735 The high cost of taxidermy prompted George to invent the formaldehyde snow globe. 1.2474 0.05490 97 78 14 5
1736 I don't care how polluted it is outside, I want OUT! OUT! OUT! 1.2474 0.05290 97 77 16 4
1737 It's bulldog. B-U-L-L... 1.2474 0.05490 97 78 14 5
1738 No, I don't think Schrödinger would find this funny 1.2473 0.05650 93 75 13 5
1739 I told you the cat would use the magic set to get the fish. 1.2473 0.04991 93 72 19 2
1740 My perspective on the meal has changed. 1.2473 0.05439 93 74 15 4
1741 Concentrate, and ask again! 1.2473 0.04991 93 72 19 2
1742 Goldfish got your tongue? 1.2473 0.05650 93 75 13 5
1743 Somebody's going to be in serious trouble when the missus gets home. 1.2473 0.04991 93 72 19 2
1744 The cat did it. 1.2472 0.05367 89 70 16 3
1745 My advice is, don't get into an existential conflict with a goldfish. 1.2472 0.05600 89 71 14 4
1746 I should have read that vacation rental listing more carefully. 1.2472 0.05824 89 72 12 5
1747 Can we go out for a roll? 1.2472 0.05367 89 70 16 3
1748 There’s supposed to be snow in the globe, but, y’know, climate chang 1.2471 0.05527 85 67 15 3
1749 Isn't this where you keep the fish? 1.2471 0.05775 85 68 13 4
1750 It’s my turn to go into space! 1.2471 0.06013 85 69 11 5
1751 I'm a specialty breed. 1.2469 0.05701 81 64 14 3
1752 I'm unvaccinated. 1.2469 0.05701 81 64 14 3
1753 It's called thinking ahead. 1.2468 0.05594 77 60 15 2
1754 If a dog barks in a fishbowl does it make a ruff? 1.2468 0.05891 77 61 13 3
1755 One more time. I am NOT a dogfish. Do NOT put water in the bowl. 1.2465 0.04490 142 114 21 7
1756 I was thirsty; give me an hour and I will refill it. 1.2463 0.04549 134 107 21 6
1757 Who's that weirdo?" (by the students of 4C at The Center for Early Education 1.2460 0.04871 126 102 17 7
1758 Do you even know what guide dogs are for? You're not going to get anywhere this way. 1.2459 0.04701 122 97 20 5
1759 This explains the dead goldfish on the floor. 1.2459 0.04981 122 99 16 7
1760 I'd let you pet me, but you're not in my bubble. 1.2456 0.04416 114 88 24 2
1761 I'm sorry for your loss. 1.2456 0.05222 114 93 14 7
1762 I guess you put the fish in my bowl. 1.2456 0.04915 114 91 18 5
1763 Tom has decided to name his new fish Fluffy 1.2455 0.05033 110 88 17 5
1764 OK, fine! "Meow!" NOW are you convinced I'm a cat? 1.2455 0.04865 110 87 19 4
1765 I can’t explain it. I just took a sip! 1.2455 0.04509 110 85 23 2
1766 I didn't eat the fish. I just drank the water. 1.2455 0.04509 110 85 23 2
1767 This is your worst magic trick ever! I want a divorce. Also,where’s Fishy? 1.2455 0.05508 110 91 11 8
1768 Now you know how being married feels. 1.2455 0.05033 110 88 17 5
1769 It's Lent? 1.2453 0.04982 106 84 18 4
1770 Worldcoin Orb v4.5 completes the global launch using the animal trojan series. Founders must choose between expanding to Jupiter or retiring lavishly with regrets of the tetrahedron persuasion while launching the Anti-Dystopian Rhetoric Foundation. 1.2453 0.05496 106 87 12 7
1771 It’s more affordable than the doghouse rent and has tons of natural light. 1.2453 0.04982 106 84 18 4
1772 It's still not a dog bowl. 1.2453 0.04798 106 83 20 3
1773 What I've learned living in a glass house is you shouldn't stow bones. Let me out and I'll never dig in the yard again. 1.2453 0.04982 106 84 18 4
1774 I'll get that cat for eating the goldfish and blaming it on me. But first I'll roll this thing forward three inches, and he'll be picking glass out of his shins for a week. 1.2451 0.05474 102 83 13 6
1775 Pete couldn't walk by the jar on his coworker's desk without taking a puppy or two. 1.2451 0.04914 102 80 19 3
1776 Shake me. I like playing in snow. 1.2451 0.04501 102 78 23 1
1777 Miniature Bichon Fishay 1.2451 0.05474 102 83 13 6
1778 I'm still your best friend, right? 1.2451 0.04712 102 79 21 2
1779 I gotta pee. Can you at least lay down some gravel? 1.2451 0.05107 102 81 17 4
1780 What?? I was thirsty 1.2451 0.05294 102 82 15 5
1781 Please don't add water 1.2451 0.05649 102 84 11 7
1782 Well yes, I know, but if you could still manage a belly rub I'd be much obliged. 1.2449 0.05037 98 77 18 3
1783 Don’t be mad. 1.2449 0.05242 98 78 16 4
1784 Your ‘golden’ stereotyping is pretty damn offensive. 1.2449 0.05037 98 77 18 3
1785 What goldfish? 1.2447 0.05171 94 74 17 3
1786 It was the perfect plan, until Fluffy convinced Goldie to double-cross me. 1.2447 0.05796 94 77 11 6
1787 This is by far the weirdest snow globe I've ever received. 1.2447 0.05387 94 75 15 4
1788 Sure, I'm suitable for apartment living, more or less. Two things. One is that I prefer kibble to flakes. The other requires me to be indelicate, but you're not taking me for a walk in this, if you get my drift. 1.2447 0.05171 94 74 17 3
1789 And I could ask how you got out there. 1.2447 0.05387 94 75 15 4
1790 I’m having a home-swap holiday. 1.2447 0.05171 94 74 17 3
1791 My doctor said I needed more fish in my diet" 1.2447 0.05387 94 75 15 4
1792 Can you roll me around the house a little? 1.2447 0.05171 94 74 17 3
1793 It wouldn't be so bad if I only had a 3 second memory. 1.2447 0.05387 94 75 15 4
1794 I hope you didn't put the goldfish in the doghouse again. 1.2447 0.05796 94 77 11 6
1795 Yes, fine. Both fish, the little plants, that treasure chest and all the water too and I’m a very bad dog. Now please, I really really REALLY need to get to the yard. 1.2444 0.05978 90 74 10 6
1796 Hey man, let me out of here. Let me out and I'll, uh... I'll do that thing, the thing with the peanut butter. 1.2444 0.05765 90 73 12 5
1797 It’s time you learned the truth. I’m not a goldfish. 1.2444 0.05544 90 72 14 4
1798 You're bewildered?" 1.2444 0.05765 90 73 12 5
1799 OK it's been an hour and I still love you. Now get me out of here. 1.2444 0.05765 90 73 12 5
1800 It's small, but I like the smell of fish. 1.2444 0.05074 90 70 18 2
1801 I survived on water and sushi. 1.2444 0.05765 90 73 12 5
1802 Something seems fishy here. 1.2442 0.05470 86 68 15 3
1803 It's the cat's fault. 1.2442 0.05715 86 69 13 4
1804 My therapist says I'm not ready for fetch. 1.2442 0.05949 86 70 11 5
1805 I preferred the kennel 1.2442 0.05949 86 70 11 5
1806 Nice try, but I’m not letting the cat out of the bag. 1.2439 0.05900 82 66 12 4
1807 I'm got sick of being the one always sent to the dog house. 1.2439 0.06150 82 67 10 5
1808 I don’t know anything anymore Gordon. 1.2437 0.04769 119 95 19 5
1809 You try sitting in your own poop! 1.2436 0.06370 78 64 9 5
1810 No. I'm not a dogfish. 1.2435 0.04877 115 92 18 5
1811 If you're looking at this crystal ball right now, I'm in the living room and I really need to go out to pee and poop! 1.2432 0.05462 111 92 11 8
1812 It’s a dog eat dog world out there. 1.2432 0.04992 111 89 17 5
1813 I'm in training for outer space 1.2430 0.04940 107 85 18 4
1814 So, I was thirsty and felt like having a little sushi. Why do you ask? 1.2430 0.04759 107 84 20 3
1815 I was thirsty. Sue me. 1.2430 0.05285 107 87 14 6
1816 Are you done humping the neighbors dog? 1.2430 0.05116 107 86 16 5
1817 I’d go out back and check on the fish if I were you. 1.2427 0.05426 103 84 13 6
1818 So who can afford a real dog anymore? 1.2427 0.04672 103 80 21 2
1819 No, this won't turn me into a catfish 1.2427 0.04464 103 79 23 1
1820 I told you I was through fetching. 1.2427 0.04871 103 81 19 3
1821 I am going to need to see your vaccine card if you want to pet me. 1.2424 0.04992 99 78 18 3
1822 They took all the water and the plants with them. 1.2424 0.05390 99 80 14 5
1823 I'm addressing my supply chain problem. 1.2424 0.04992 99 78 18 3
1824 First I drank the water. 1.2424 0.05390 99 80 14 5
1825 Now that we've actually met, I should admit I was catfishing you. 1.2424 0.05390 99 80 14 5
1826 I don't know either. 1.2424 0.04992 99 78 18 3
1827 What's the problem? You thought I was cute when I was a dogfish tadpole. 1.2421 0.05542 95 77 13 5
1828 You tell me. 1.2421 0.05337 95 76 15 4
1829 Don't you ever ask me to be your best friend again. 1.2421 0.05337 95 76 15 4
1830 I think the pet store sold me the wrong fish. 1.2421 0.05741 95 78 11 6
1831 Fish is a wonderful source of high-quality protein. 1.2421 0.05337 95 76 15 4
1832 You're looking at an alternative fish. 1.2421 0.05542 95 77 13 5
1833 Didn't you ask for a genie in a bottle? Well, I'm Genie. 1.2421 0.05122 95 75 17 3
1834 The pet store was all out of teacups. 1.2421 0.05542 95 77 13 5
1835 I'm transitioning 1.2421 0.05542 95 77 13 5
1836 The view is amazing." 1.2419 0.04633 124 99 20 5
1837 Relax, I’m a mix between a golden and a goldfish. 1.2419 0.04773 124 100 18 6
1838 Don't judge me, I'm still a Vegan. 1.2418 0.05025 91 71 18 2
1839 Where to? What next? 1.2418 0.05263 91 72 16 3
1840 I have plenty of water, but you need to get more fish. 1.2418 0.05490 91 73 14 4
1841 It said,"Eat me." 1.2418 0.05263 91 72 16 3
1842 I was thirsty. 1.2414 0.05161 87 68 17 2
1843 No, you are not ready for a relationship. You killed the plant and put me in here. 1.2414 0.04682 116 92 20 4
1844 Let it snow Let it snow Let it snow 1.2414 0.04839 116 93 18 5
1845 I have dreams bigger than being part of a diorama in a snow globe. 1.2414 0.04682 116 92 20 4
1846 She's out back playing fetch with Bubbles. 1.2414 0.05414 87 69 15 3
1847 Bob regretted asking the genie for a bitch that would bowl him over. 1.2414 0.05887 87 71 11 5
1848 The cat was bothering him. 1.2414 0.04839 116 93 18 5
1849 I can't unsee it--the freezer, the meat 1.2414 0.05656 87 70 13 4
1850 It didn’t look like that on the website, honey. I’ve been catfished 1.2411 0.04616 112 88 21 3
1851 I'm mystified by dog fish. 1.2411 0.04952 112 90 17 5
1852 I ate one goldfish and now I am in The Twilight Zone. 1.2411 0.05112 112 91 15 6
1853 It's the only way I'm going to get overfed. 1.2410 0.06083 83 68 10 5
1854 I should have taken the “terrier-arium” label more literally. 1.2410 0.05579 83 66 14 3
1855 Dogs in glass houses shouldn’t throw bones. 1.2410 0.06083 83 68 10 5
1856 Virgil, I feel completely objectified in here. 1.2410 0.05579 83 66 14 3
1857 Yes, your birthday wish for a small dog could have been a little more specific. 1.2410 0.05836 83 67 12 4
1858 I know how this looks, but really, he lured me in here, and now who knows where he is. 1.2407 0.04720 108 85 20 3
1859 At least you can't follow me into the bathroom now. 1.2407 0.05073 108 87 16 5
1860 I was adopted. 1.2404 0.05020 104 83 17 4
1861 Can we at least go back to the hamster ball? 1.2404 0.04633 104 81 21 2
1862 The goldfish isn’t here either! 1.2404 0.04830 104 82 19 3
1863 My preference would be a glass cutter. 1.2404 0.05202 104 84 15 5
1864 I guess this means a walk is out. 1.2403 0.04640 129 104 19 6
1865 Honey, what did you feed the fish? 1.2400 0.05341 100 81 14 5
1866 Bark bark bark? Bark! Bark bark bark bark. 1.2400 0.05955 75 60 12 3
1867 Maybe just a minnow or a goldfish for company? 1.2400 0.04948 100 79 18 3
1868 Some privacy, please? I don’t have a doggy door. 1.2400 0.06250 75 61 10 4
1869 Show me your vaccination proof 1.2400 0.05003 125 103 14 8
1870 Glen rethinks his dosage. 1.2400 0.04948 100 79 18 3
1871 I am sure the steak tasted great, but I warned you not to bargain with the goldfish. 1.2400 0.05148 100 80 16 4
1872 Now where did I put the fish’s leash? 1.2400 0.04740 100 78 20 2
1873 For the umpteenth time, I am NOT a dog fish. 1.2400 0.05341 100 81 14 5
1874 Sorry, your mother thought you said cheap pet not chia-pet. 1.2400 0.04948 100 79 18 3
1875 Give me goldfish or give me death! 1.2400 0.05148 100 80 16 4
1876 Shake me to see the yellow snow. 1.2400 0.05148 100 80 16 4
1877 "I was thirsty, hungry, and thirsty some more, then I realized what I did and felt a need for protection." 1.2397 0.04843 121 98 17 6
1878 Now you can over feed me. 1.2397 0.04843 121 98 17 6
1879 You made your body choice. I’m making mine. 1.2397 0.04843 121 98 17 6
1880 The dog ate it! 1.2397 0.04843 121 98 17 6
1881 Do you ever feel like a fish out of water? 1.2397 0.04549 121 96 21 4
1882 I WAS CURIOUS 1.2396 0.05075 96 76 17 3
1883 Now curb the goldfish. 1.2396 0.05287 96 77 15 4
1884 Are you sure? 1.2396 0.05287 96 77 15 4
1885 Hey, I'm bowl eligible now. 1.2396 0.05075 96 76 17 3
1886 You talkin’ to me? 1.2396 0.05490 96 78 13 5
1887 Frankly, your breath is not so great either. 1.2396 0.05075 96 76 17 3
1888 Would've been better with soy sauce. 1.2391 0.06059 92 77 8 7
1889 Mommy says this is the only way you can be in our bubble. 1.2391 0.05212 92 73 16 3
1890 Of course you still have to pick up my poop,in fact more so than ever 1.2391 0.05212 92 73 16 3
1891 I ‘m a bark in a bottle , arf arf! 1.2391 0.05436 92 74 14 4
1892 No, I said GUPPIES only grow to the size of their enclosures. 1.2391 0.04977 92 72 18 2
1893 Sorry, Rex! I asked her to fill your dog bowl. 1.2391 0.05436 92 74 14 4
1894 There once was a man name o’ Pat. Who had a fish in a bowl, and a cat. Though Pat liked the fish, the cat saw a “dish;” and now she is happy and fat. 1.2391 0.05436 92 74 14 4
1895 When you begin to question how drunk you got last night. Who's dog is this? Where's the fish? 1.2389 0.05071 113 92 15 6
1896 So the fish says “put yourself in my place….” BTW, I ate him. 1.2386 0.05598 88 71 13 4
1897 I guess we are both stuck behind glasses now. 1.2386 0.05110 88 69 17 2
1898 Rod, focus! 1.2386 0.05598 88 71 13 4
1899 At least you don’t have to flush it down the toilet now. 1.2386 0.05598 88 71 13 4
1900 You know, the humidity in here is ruining my fur, David. 1.2385 0.04496 109 85 22 2
1901 You know I can just jump out, right? 1.2385 0.05031 109 88 16 5
1902 I still don’t know how you expect me to float to the top when I die. 1.2385 0.05358 109 90 12 7
1903 Look I'm sorry they were out of fish... 1.2385 0.05197 109 89 14 6
1904 I ate the fish and drank the water. Now what? 1.2385 0.04681 109 86 20 3
1905 My bark is bigger than my bowl. 1.2385 0.04681 109 86 20 3
1906 I was parched. 1.2385 0.04496 109 85 22 2
1907 Your wife bought this old RCA tv, and I came with it. 1.2381 0.05519 84 67 14 3
1908 All things considered, I feel safer in here. 1.2381 0.05773 84 68 12 4
1909 I was duped. Find Goldie . . . There isn't much time! 1.2381 0.05253 84 66 16 2
1910 Yeah, I drank the water, but I didn't eat the fish. 1.2381 0.04390 105 81 23 1
1911 Dude! I've been vaxed. Happy to get a PCR test too. 1.2381 0.04789 105 83 19 3
1912 What part of, I'm not a fish, didn't you understand? 1.2381 0.05773 84 68 12 4
1913 'Abracadabra'...I was here and your genius son ran off with Bubbles. 1.2381 0.04977 105 84 17 4
1914 I was told to guard the place until they get back. 1.2381 0.04977 105 84 17 4
1915 Alright, the goldfish was delicious and I have drunk the water; now get me out if here! 1.2381 0.04594 105 82 21 2
1916 First, catfished on Tinder, and now this. 1.2381 0.05158 105 85 15 5
1917 Let’s just say Air B & B made a mistake” 1.2381 0.05158 105 85 15 5
1918 That goldfish was much meaner than he looked. 1.2377 0.04807 122 99 17 6
1919 Stay. 1.2376 0.05293 101 82 14 5
1920 So at MIT did you take the followup class about getting me the hell our of here? 1.2376 0.04905 101 80 18 3
1921 I came, I saw and I conquered. 1.2376 0.05103 101 81 16 4
1922 Strangely, I can't remember what happened to the goldfish... 1.2376 0.05293 101 82 14 5
1923 I've been studying him for months. He keeps staring at me. Never blinks. Do you think he has a catatonic disorder? 1.2376 0.05103 101 81 16 4
1924 The goldfish were delicious, but now I feel like Jack Cousteau. 1.2376 0.05293 101 82 14 5
1925 What kind of master puts kibble in a goldfish bowl, then leaves for vacation? 1.2376 0.04699 101 79 20 2
1926 How did I get in here, then? 1.2376 0.05103 101 81 16 4
1927 The Goldfish was a nice amuse bouche; what's for the main course? 1.2376 0.04905 101 80 18 3
1928 Be a sport. Everybody gets a turn in the fish bowl. 1.2375 0.05694 80 64 13 3
1929 When you told me to fetch my bowl, I kind of got carried away. 1.2375 0.05694 80 64 13 3
1930 I should have reviewed the timeshare contract more carefully 1.2373 0.05061 118 97 14 7
1931 I thought it was fish Friday... 1.2373 0.04451 118 93 22 3
1932 If you want me to live here, I’ll need snow. 1.2373 0.04915 118 96 16 6
1933 No sea castles. Just a bone. 1.2371 0.04810 97 76 19 2
1934 You can let me out now, I'm done marking my terraritory. 1.2371 0.05238 97 78 15 4
1935 It’s called Getting Out of Your Comfort Zone 1.2371 0.05238 97 78 15 4
1936 How's Bubbles doing out there in the kennel? 1.2371 0.05820 97 81 9 7
1937 I wanted to know how it felt to be a Kardashian. 1.2371 0.05029 97 77 17 3
1938 Walks? No! Swims? Yes!! 1.2371 0.04810 97 76 19 2
1939 Paraphrasing Thoreau, what are you doing out there? 1.2371 0.04810 97 76 19 2
1940 Make a wish already. The genie in the bottle is so yesterday. 1.2371 0.05439 97 79 13 5
1941 No, dog bowls are for food. Dog food, you understand. 1.2368 0.06175 76 62 10 4
1942 But I just don’t feel like a tetra anymore. 1.2368 0.04874 114 92 17 5
1943 He's not the only fish out of water. 1.2366 0.05383 93 75 14 4
1944 Welcome earthling. Take me to your leader. 1.2366 0.05999 93 78 8 7
1945 It was a cute idea,but no one ever fully resolved the glass/slobber problem. 1.2366 0.05383 93 75 14 4
1946 I really don’t think it’ll stop him from licking the scar. 1.2366 0.05383 93 75 14 4
1947 Come on in. The lack of water's fine. 1.2366 0.05162 93 74 16 3
1948 Seriously, I want to go bowling. 1.2366 0.04930 93 73 18 2
1949 Now, think hard--where did you put the gold fish!! 1.2366 0.05383 93 75 14 4
1950 Who’s a bubble dog? I’m a bubble dog! But I’m still a bubble of love dog. Yes I am! 1.2366 0.05383 93 75 14 4
1951 It’s just until the landlord leaves. 1.2364 0.04820 110 88 18 4
1952 I got the goldfish, but it wasn't worth it 1.2364 0.04820 110 88 18 4
1953 What do you expect? It’s thundering out and the bathtub’s occupied. 1.2364 0.04644 110 87 20 3
1954 Can't you find me a space helmet that fits? 1.2364 0.04990 110 89 16 5
1955 It's a dog's life. 1.2360 0.04800 89 69 19 1
1956 I didn't say I was a fish Gerald, I said I liked the BAND Phish. 1.2360 0.05541 89 72 13 4
1957 We normally don't leave our planet, Canine, but we understand yours has gone to the dogs. 1.2360 0.04800 89 69 19 1
1958 I told the pet shop I wanted a goldfish, not a golden retriever 1.2360 0.05767 89 73 11 5
1959 Can you get the fish out of my doghouse? 1.2360 0.05541 89 72 13 4
1960 Do I look like a goldfish to you? 1.2360 0.05541 89 72 13 4
1961 Enjoyed the fish dinner yesterday, thanks. What’s on the menu today? 1.2360 0.05059 89 70 17 2
1962 It’s not so bad. I could have been the elephant in the living room. 1.2360 0.05305 89 71 15 3
1963 Bubbles the goldfish asked me to reserve his spot…honest 1.2360 0.05541 89 72 13 4
1964 What do you mean a clown fish trapped in a dog's body? 1.2358 0.05114 106 86 15 5
1965 I come in peace. 1.2358 0.04935 106 85 17 4
1966 Carl, we've known each other for how long? Five years? That's like 35 years. And in all those years have I or have I not been nothing but a faithful friend? Carl? Carl, answer me!" 1.2358 0.05286 106 87 13 6
1967 So, what were you expecting? A rabbit? A cat in a hat? Magicians are also working remotely these days. 1.2358 0.05114 106 86 15 5
1968 If Bezos or Musk need me, I can be available... 1.2358 0.05286 106 87 13 6
1969 That was one tricky goldfish. 1.2358 0.04556 106 83 21 2
1970 No, we just changed venues. Do I look like a cat? 1.2358 0.04935 106 85 17 4
1971 I told you I was a crossbreed. 1.2353 0.05198 85 67 16 2
1972 For the last time, I'm NOT a fish! 1.2353 0.05198 85 67 16 2
1973 Dogfish? Do I look like a dogfish to you? 1.2353 0.05058 102 82 16 4
1974 Obviously I'm a powerful alien in a space ship! What did YOU think?? 1.2353 0.05246 102 83 14 5
1975 Now try suggesting it was me who dealt one. 1.2353 0.05712 85 69 12 4
1976 Hey buddy—mind turning the bowl upside-down so I can pee? 1.2353 0.05712 85 69 12 4
1977 What did you expect, fish 1.2353 0.04862 102 81 18 3
1978 Isn't it about time to take the goldfish out for a drag around the block? 1.2353 0.05461 85 68 14 3
1979 Safety over comfort. And where’s your mask ? 1.2353 0.05246 102 83 14 5
1980 And you wonder why you’re still single!” 1.2353 0.04862 102 81 18 3
1981 It's expensive, but it's got a great view and it's close to the park. 1.2353 0.05198 85 67 16 2
1982 You and me both, buddy. 1.2353 0.05246 102 83 14 5
1983 You're the master, but are we sure this microdosing thing is working the way it's supposed to? 1.2353 0.05952 85 70 10 5
1984 Goldy? No idea where he is. Oh, stop giving me that Keith-Morrison-Dateline-“Oh, he had an idea, alright”-look. 1.2353 0.04862 102 81 18 3
1985 I just wanted to see how I would look as the first dog in space 1.2353 0.05712 85 69 12 4
1986 The gerbil's in my house out back. And the cat's in the gerbil's cage. And the goldfish is in the cat. And I'm in here. Your turn! 1.2353 0.05198 85 67 16 2
1987 Did I hear you say the word "walk"? 1.2353 0.04730 119 96 18 5
1988 Any pet shop knows that cats prefer to drink moving water 1.2348 0.04836 115 93 17 5
1989 If I stay still maybe he won't notice... 1.2347 0.04767 98 77 19 2
1990 What? You couldn't afford a fish? 1.2347 0.05190 98 79 15 4
1991 No, I’m not your wife. Let me out. 1.2347 0.05190 98 79 15 4
1992 One problem. No litter box. 1.2347 0.05190 98 79 15 4
1993 Well, it all started with the damn cat! 1.2347 0.05580 98 81 11 6
1994 From the inside looking out I can see you’ve gained weight during Covid pandemic 1.2347 0.05766 98 82 9 7
1995 ‘Good Boy’ in a bubble? Really? 1.2347 0.05580 98 81 11 6
1996 Don’t you dare name your brewery after me. 1.2344 0.04638 128 104 18 6
1997 That's a no for dinner but I do need to go outside to pee. 1.2342 0.04607 111 88 20 3
1998 It's rough in here. 1.2342 0.04949 111 90 16 5
1999 Dogfish, the perfect pet! 1.2340 0.05113 94 75 16 3
2000 Wait…ball….am I… INSIDE the ball? 1.2340 0.05113 94 75 16 3
2001 I don't get a Treasure Chest? 1.2340 0.04644 94 73 20 1
2002 Hey man, you think you could drop some kibble in my bowl? 1.2340 0.04644 94 73 20 1
2003 I ate all the Goldfish. Now I can’t get squeeze out! 1.2340 0.05332 94 76 14 4
2004 kafkaesque… 1.2340 0.05332 94 76 14 4
2005 Hide and seek 1.2340 0.05113 94 75 16 3
2006 So then I said, 'If you can figure out a way to breathe air and shrink me to your size, then be my guest!' 1.2340 0.05542 94 77 12 5
2007 No water, please. I can't swim. 1.2340 0.05332 94 76 14 4
2008 Honestly, I fared pretty well. On the other hand, the cat was put into the terrarium with the boa. 1.2340 0.05332 94 76 14 4
2009 Just don’t flush me down the toilet when you get tired of me. 1.2340 0.05332 94 76 14 4
2010 In here, it’s a dog eat fish world. 1.2340 0.05113 94 75 16 3
2011 I’m really sorry; I swear that poodle said she was vaccinated. 1.2339 0.04451 124 99 21 4
2012 help me, help you 1.2339 0.04451 124 99 21 4
2013 21st Century Dogfish Breeder 1.2338 0.05816 77 62 12 3
2014 My time in transit was appalling! 1.2336 0.05070 107 87 15 5
2015 I see endless biscuits and fetch in your future 1.2336 0.04519 107 84 21 2
2016 Yup, not much privacy..... 1.2336 0.04710 107 85 19 3
2017 How does it feel to be on the outside looking in? 1.2336 0.04710 107 85 19 3
2018 Yours would too if all you ate was dog food. 1.2336 0.04893 107 86 17 4
2019 Canis minor, actually... 1.2336 0.05241 107 88 13 6
2020 I think it's time we get past bluey's death. 1.2333 0.05253 90 72 15 3
2021 Tell me again....Who ya gonna vote for? 1.2333 0.05485 90 73 13 4
2022 How do you like my inflatable costume? 1.2333 0.05485 90 73 13 4
2023 Good, good...now fill it with bacon... 1.2333 0.04543 120 96 20 4
2024 And that box of crumbs you've been sprinkling in. Not cool. 1.2333 0.05708 90 74 11 5
2025 I know we have been very careful about Covid 19. But, Fido, don’t you think this is taking social distancing a bit too far? 1.2330 0.05200 103 84 14 5
2026 I feel safer in here. 1.2330 0.05380 103 85 12 6
2027 I thought I ordered the catfish… 1.2330 0.05200 103 84 14 5
2028 What sort of "Golden Doodle" were you hoping for? 1.2330 0.05014 103 83 16 4
2029 What? I’m a dogfish. Look it up! 1.2330 0.04618 103 81 20 2
2030 I was hungry, Phil. And thirsty. 1.2330 0.05014 103 83 16 4
2031 The cat thought you wouldn't notice. 1.2330 0.05200 103 84 14 5
2032 If you put even an ounce of water in here right now it counts as a war crime. 1.2330 0.04820 103 82 18 3
2033 He flipped me off, so I ate him. 1.2330 0.05014 103 83 16 4
2034 Dont worry, this is a snowglobe. I just have to start shedding first. 1.2330 0.05014 103 83 16 4
2035 All I’m doing is trying to learn how to look at things from someone else’s point of view. 1.2330 0.04820 103 82 18 3
2036 Sorry. I’m a fish-eating dog. 1.2326 0.05652 86 70 12 4
2037 I'm drowning. 1.2326 0.05145 86 68 16 2
2038 Just what kind of mix- breed did those rescue home folks tell you I am ? 1.2326 0.06117 86 72 8 6
2039 BOb was just wondering what happened to his goldfish and his cat... 1.2326 0.04335 129 103 22 4
2040 What part of ‘dog house’ didn’t you understand? 1.2326 0.05404 86 69 14 3
2041 Fish for dinner again? 1.2326 0.05652 86 70 12 4
2042 If you don’t take me for more walks, bath time is going to get gross. 1.2323 0.05142 99 80 15 4
2043 Weird to be weird. It's what passes for funny these days. Why aren't you laughing? 1.2323 0.05142 99 80 15 4
2044 Seriously? 1.2323 0.04725 99 78 19 2
2045 I was thirsty so I drank all the water . I don't know where the goldfish went . 1.2323 0.05339 99 81 13 5
2046 It’s the great resignation. I want less puppy, more guppy. 1.2323 0.04938 99 79 17 3
2047 The fish was tasty and I drank all the water. Now can you get me out? 1.2323 0.04501 99 77 21 1
2048 The fish is in the doghouse. 1.2323 0.05529 99 82 11 6
2049 I also speak English 1.2323 0.04938 99 79 17 3
2050 I know you’re tired of walking me, but maybe you don’t understand the root of the problem… 1.2323 0.05142 99 80 15 4
2051 Don't even think of swallowing it. 1.2323 0.05142 99 80 15 4
2052 Barry realised that he only had himself to blame. This happens every time the door to the toilet is left closed overnight. 1.2323 0.04938 99 79 17 3
2053 I don't know. I don't really care for the smell of wet dog. 1.2321 0.05071 112 92 14 6
2054 I'll grant you three wishes.... 1.2321 0.04743 112 90 18 4
2055 Maybe you should check the cookie jar. 1.2317 0.05569 82 66 13 3
2056 Can I at least get a mini castle? 1.2317 0.05833 82 67 11 4
2057 So this is it? I end up living in a fish bowl only because you chose moving into a Co-op that has a no dog policy?! 1.2317 0.05291 82 65 15 2
2058 Please believe me. I don’t want to be Captain Nemo. 1.2317 0.05833 82 67 11 4
2059 Now can I drink out of the toilet like Goldie did? 1.2317 0.06086 82 68 9 5
2060 I ate it. 1.2317 0.05569 82 66 13 3
2061 If you remembered to fill my water bowl, I wouldn't be here. 1.2316 0.04838 95 75 18 2
2062 Long story. 1.2316 0.05065 95 76 16 3
2063 You're" disappointed? Wait 'till I get out of here...I'll show you disappointed 1.2316 0.05281 95 77 14 4
2064 MOVA globes said it would feature a rover... 1.2316 0.05065 95 76 16 3
2065 You ate the ship and now you can’t get out? 1.2316 0.04838 95 75 18 2
2066 You don’t want to wear a mask? Then “THIS” is what I am doing! 1.2316 0.05281 95 77 14 4
2067 I gave the goldfish 24 hours to vacate the premises. 1.2316 0.05489 95 78 12 5
2068 Enough with the internet posts: My life already is a fish bowl. 1.2316 0.05281 95 77 14 4
2069 Now let's work on "Heel." 1.2316 0.05281 95 77 14 4
2070 Pavlov, you're not. 1.2316 0.05281 95 77 14 4
2071 Good boy! Now go and fetch me food. 1.2315 0.04671 108 86 19 3
2072 Just what the hell do you think a dogfish is, anyway? 1.2315 0.04671 108 86 19 3
2073 How is walking the fish instead of me working out for you? 1.2315 0.04853 108 87 17 4
2074 So I was in the attic thinking about the goldfish, and I rubbed up against this old dusty lamp and, poof. 1.2315 0.04482 108 85 21 2
2075 It's a dog eat guppy world out there. 1.2315 0.04853 108 87 17 4
2076 Sorry, I get a lotta echo in here. I thought you said “guppy.” 1.2315 0.05028 108 88 15 5
2077 The water is always fresher on the other side of the bowl. 1.2308 0.04779 104 83 18 3
2078 Good news, you don't have to change the water in the fish bowl anymore! 1.2308 0.04708 91 71 19 1
2079 You really don't know what a catfish is, do you? 1.2308 0.04708 91 71 19 1
2080 This is what happens when you overfeed the goldfish. 1.2308 0.05201 91 73 15 3
2081 Whatever you do, don't shake me. I'm not a snow globe. 1.2308 0.05201 91 73 15 3
2082 You do realize that this does not make me a dogfish. 1.2308 0.04961 91 72 17 2
2083 I don't know what to tell you. 1.2308 0.04779 104 83 18 3
2084 I can assure you that the fish was well. 1.2308 0.04779 104 83 18 3
2085 Turns out, Greg is only good at potty-training goldfish. 1.2308 0.04441 117 93 21 3
2086 Yes, I am the magic dog of the crystal ball. And to answer your question, no Epstein did not kill himself. 1.2301 0.05184 113 94 12 7
2087 I asked for a dinner bowl. 1.2301 0.04171 113 88 24 1
2088 It's not that I never talk- It's that you never listen 1.2300 0.04894 100 80 17 3
2089 Roundly appreciate your taking notice of me now. 1.2300 0.04683 100 79 19 2
2090 Those who live in glass houses should never throw bones. 1.2300 0.04894 100 80 17 3
2091 Go ahead and ask. It’s a good story. 1.2300 0.04683 100 79 19 2
2092 Hey! There's a pandemic! I needed a safety bubble. 1.2300 0.04894 100 80 17 3
2093 That's nothing - you should see his goldfish catch a Frisbee. 1.2300 0.05096 100 81 15 4
2094 Alan, would you mind? I can't go until you shake the snow globe. 1.2300 0.05291 100 82 13 5
2095 Can’t you just go back to building boats in a bottle. 1.2300 0.05096 100 81 15 4
2096 I had to drink the water too, so please get me to the litter box quick! 1.2300 0.04894 100 80 17 3
2097 Yeah, well, when the cat's away ... 1.2299 0.05827 87 72 10 5
2098 The little pet had ruined his life (by the students of 4D at The Center for Early Education) 1.2299 0.05593 87 71 12 4
2099 I do feel secure, but my right to privacy has been severely compromised 1.2299 0.05593 87 71 12 4
2100 The dog treats were worth it 1.2299 0.05348 87 70 14 3
2101 I love to fetch as much as anyone, but I'm not coming back out until you show me proof of vaccination. 1.2297 0.05625 74 59 13 2
2102 I had my protein and washed it down, now get my ass outta here! 1.2297 0.05625 74 59 13 2
2103 Please Milton. The goldfish isn't coming back.. and I gotta go. 1.2297 0.05625 74 59 13 2
2104 First, this is not what it looks like. 1.2295 0.04625 122 99 18 5
2105 No, I haven't seen a goldfish on a leash 1.2294 0.05154 109 90 13 6
2106 This won't stop me, John. It won't 1.2294 0.05316 109 91 11 7
2107 You never heard of catfishing? 1.2294 0.05154 109 90 13 6
2108 Stop saying 'Lassie, get help.' I'm Lassie and I need YOU to get help. 1.2292 0.05017 96 77 16 3
2109 It's a terrarium – not terrier-ium. Get it. 1.2292 0.05231 96 78 14 4
2110 Didn’t anyone in that pathetic pet shop help you with designing my habitat? 1.2292 0.05017 96 77 16 3
2111 How is that thinking out of the bowl thing working for you? 1.2292 0.05017 96 77 16 3
2112 I'm trying to simplify feeding time for us both. 1.2292 0.05017 96 77 16 3
2113 I thought disrupting the pet industry meant I'd be in charge. 1.2292 0.05635 96 80 10 6
2114 Listen Bob, You know I can't swim. 1.2292 0.05017 96 77 16 3
2115 The cat got three wishes. The fish and I were one and two, and I won't tell you what's going on with your upholstery right now. 1.2292 0.05826 96 81 8 7
2116 Have you checked on Flipper recently? 1.2292 0.05017 96 77 16 3
2117 I told you. I'm a sociopath. 1.2292 0.05437 96 79 12 5
2118 Jeff Bezos said I had to practice for my space flight. 1.2289 0.05508 83 67 13 3
2119 Your kid is a menace. She's taking the fish for a walk. 1.2289 0.06488 83 71 5 7
2120 I am NOT a catfish! (Actually, I’m a dogfish.) 1.2289 0.04946 83 65 17 1
2121 Are you really,really sorry? 1.2289 0.05508 83 67 13 3
2122 May I have a moment in private, please? 1.2289 0.06018 83 69 9 5
2123 It’s my COVID mandate. 1.2288 0.04408 118 94 21 3
2124 Want to play fetch? 1.2286 0.04334 105 82 22 1
2125 Does this make me look fat? 1.2286 0.05817 70 56 12 2
2126 ’Ship-tzu’ in a bottle. How hilarious. 1.2283 0.05150 92 74 15 3
2127 Carnival prizes have sure come a long way. 1.2283 0.05377 92 75 13 4
2128 You'll find my memory of this to be a lot longer than 10 seconds. 1.2283 0.05150 92 74 15 3
2129 “The bowl was empty when I got here!” 1.2283 0.04663 92 72 19 1
2130 You need to have your eyes checked. 1.2283 0.05377 92 75 13 4
2131 I'm almost 15 years old. I wanted to tour the globe. 1.2283 0.05150 92 74 15 3
2132 If you're wondering, the goldfish is presently chasing squirrels. 1.2283 0.05150 92 74 15 3
2133 I can't find it... Nemo isn't here. 1.2283 0.05150 92 74 15 3
2134 Stupid goldfish sold it to me for a dog biscuit and transport to the pond. 1.2283 0.05150 92 74 15 3
2135 There was the small matter of disposing of the goldfish, but after that it was just a case of draining the bowl. 1.2283 0.05377 92 75 13 4
2136 I always knew I was different. 1.2283 0.04913 92 73 17 2
2137 Trust me, you're more of a catfish person. 1.2283 0.04913 92 73 17 2
2138 Fish Dog: The Ultimate Gen Z Pet! 1.2281 0.05143 114 95 12 7
2139 Can we start with a walk where I tell you all about it? 1.2278 0.05390 79 63 14 2
2140 Wanna see snow? 1.2278 0.05079 79 62 16 1
2141 Okay, but if I die, do not flush me down the toilet. 1.2278 0.05683 79 64 12 3
2142 Not guppy - puppy! 1.2278 0.05683 79 64 12 3
2143 It's the cat, it was always the cat! 1.2277 0.04850 101 81 17 3
2144 "Siri quit. I'll be your best friend, but don't ask me to name all 7 Dwarves." 1.2277 0.05428 101 84 11 6
2145 Fish are friends, not food. 1.2277 0.04850 101 81 17 3
2146 It's just until you agree to wear a mask. 1.2277 0.05050 101 82 15 4
2147 'When does the snow start?" 1.2277 0.05243 101 83 13 5
2148 The water tasted good, but the gold fish was a little mealy. 1.2277 0.05608 101 85 9 7
2149 It was THIIIS BIG! 1.2273 0.04945 110 90 15 5
2150 Fishing for a compliment again!? 1.2273 0.05294 88 71 14 3
2151 Are we metaversing correctly? 1.2273 0.05294 88 71 14 3
2152 Get real Marvin. You only think you don’t live in a fishbowl. 1.2273 0.04775 88 69 18 1
2153 I just wanted to snap at the snowflakes.... 1.2273 0.05535 88 72 12 4
2154 Things got a little weird for Karl after getting fired from PetSmart. 1.2273 0.05294 88 71 14 3
2155 Would you believe its fish Friday ! 1.2273 0.05535 88 72 12 4
2156 Where's Guppy? Check the doghouse. I don't understand how I got here, either. 1.2273 0.05294 88 71 14 3
2157 ''Never mind the fish .Wheres the cat!!'' 1.2273 0.05041 88 70 16 2
2158 Most of us celebrities live life in a fish bowl 1.2268 0.04750 97 77 18 2
2159 I just try to fit in. 1.2268 0.04971 97 78 16 3
2160 Get that lamp again. Carefully say, 'go fetch,' not 'goldfish'. 1.2268 0.05386 97 80 12 5
2161 When you stare at me I feel like I'm in a fish bowl. 1.2268 0.04971 97 78 16 3
2162 There was no fish. There was no water. Let me out. I have to pee. 1.2268 0.05386 97 80 12 5
2163 So peaceful in here. ..just hope nothing happens to change the atmosphere." 1.2268 0.05182 97 79 14 4
2164 OK! I'll get out of here, if you tell me how I got in. 1.2268 0.05582 97 81 10 6
2165 Rover learns the hard way about catfishing. 1.2268 0.04750 97 77 18 2
2166 Don't let Nemo poop on the Miller's lawn. 1.2264 0.04503 106 84 20 2
2167 Don't spill me or you'll make a poodle. 1.2264 0.04886 106 86 16 4
2168 Not my idea of a global outlook! 1.2264 0.04503 106 84 20 2
2169 Does this mean we're no longer best friends? 1.2264 0.04503 106 84 20 2
2170 Those fish didn’t carry COVID did they? 1.2262 0.05179 84 67 15 2
2171 You know I won't forget this is 3 seconds, right? 1.2262 0.05449 84 68 13 3
2172 The water was gross, but the fish were tasty. 1.2261 0.04289 115 91 22 2
2173 I know I put myself on the waiting list for this space, but now I understand why the goldfish left.... 1.2261 0.04631 115 93 18 4
2174 Don't shake me to get the snow going. It makes me nauseous. 1.2258 0.05100 93 75 15 3
2175 What did you feed me? 1.2258 0.04866 93 74 17 2
2176 Perhaps we can rethink your solution for my separation anxiety while you are at work. 1.2258 0.04866 93 74 17 2
2177 AKC's newest breed -- the Betta dog 1.2258 0.04866 93 74 17 2
2178 Just take me back already. You look more like a fish person anyway. 1.2258 0.05325 93 76 13 4
2179 How were your goldfish and I to know it was 'Freaky Friday'? 1.2258 0.05325 93 76 13 4
2180 I don’t know anything about a goldfish but I gotta pee like a racehorse! 1.2258 0.04866 93 74 17 2
2181 I told the genie that I wished I knew what it was like to be a goldfish. 1.2258 0.04619 93 73 19 1
2182 Why have a dog,when you can have a meta dog? 1.2258 0.05100 93 75 15 3
2183 I haven't got any bigger while I've been in here. Maybe you should try too. 1.2258 0.04619 93 73 19 1
2184 You rescued me from the pound. So rescue me again. 1.2258 0.05325 93 76 13 4
2185 You’ve made your point - drink from the toilet, be flushed down the toilet.” 1.2255 0.05006 102 83 15 4
2186 You’re still going to have to clean up after me, you know. 1.2255 0.05006 102 83 15 4
2187 Just don't fill this with water. 1.2255 0.04602 102 81 19 2
2188 Well, Duh! 1.2255 0.04602 102 81 19 2
2189 I'm not a catfish! 1.2255 0.05006 102 83 15 4
2190 You can just dump the food through that hole from now on. 1.2255 0.04808 102 82 17 3
2191 I take it the only pet your parents let you have as a child was a goldfish. 1.2255 0.05006 102 83 15 4
2192 i did not think i would fit in here either 1.2254 0.06084 71 58 10 3
2193 Goldfish? What goldfish? 1.2252 0.04904 111 91 15 5
2194 I guess this new environment invalidates the seven basic commands. 1.2252 0.04558 111 89 19 3
2195 I tried to tell them I wasn't a fish. 1.2252 0.04735 111 90 17 4
2196 Marking my territory is kind of redundant 1.2252 0.04375 111 88 21 2
2197 I hungered for your undivided attention; and, of course, for the fish. 1.2252 0.04735 111 90 17 4
2198 If you want me to get a rabies vaccine, just say so. 1.2252 0.04183 111 87 23 1
2199 Of course I'm a dog! What? You expected a goldfish? 1.2252 0.04735 111 90 17 4
2200 Dogfish? No, why do you ask? 1.2250 0.04178 120 95 23 2
2201 Look the acoustics in here are fantastic. I'm not going to stop singing the Lido Shuffle no matter how many Beggin' Strips you give me 1.2250 0.06408 80 68 6 6
2202 It's safer this way... 1.2250 0.05618 80 65 12 3
2203 You know that a goldfish and a golden retriever are two different things, right? 1.2250 0.05893 80 66 10 4
2204 Goldfish, Bitcoin--potato, potahto 1.2250 0.05024 80 63 16 1
2205 It was this or the cone. 1.2247 0.05478 89 73 12 4
2206 Wilbur, will you please take me out of here and feed me 1.2247 0.04728 89 70 18 1
2207 What do you mean you didn't get that on video? 1.2247 0.05240 89 72 14 3
2208 Don't tell the cat. 1.2247 0.05478 89 73 12 4
2209 I’m telling you, I need to go to bathroom now. 1.2247 0.04990 89 71 16 2
2210 You mean they weren't sushi? 1.2247 0.05240 89 72 14 3
2211 What? You expected a frog? 1.2247 0.04990 89 71 16 2
2212 Now, it's your turn. 1.2247 0.04990 89 71 16 2
2213 There's gotta be a better way to keep me from running away 1.2247 0.05240 89 72 14 3
2214 Puppy, not guppy! 1.2245 0.05135 98 80 14 4
2215 I'm sorry, Gary, but I just don't feel comfortable since you started showing COVID symptoms. 1.2245 0.05335 98 81 12 5
2216 'Trick or treat..." 1.2245 0.05335 98 81 12 5
2217 Why do I look like a dog in a fish bowl? The cartoonist hates cats! 1.2245 0.05135 98 80 14 4
2218 Look this way...look...use your eyes man. Help... 1.2245 0.05335 98 81 12 5
2219 Did the Specialist mention anything about walks?" 1.2245 0.04925 98 79 16 3
2220 Can't you accept me for what I am? 1.2245 0.05135 98 80 14 4
2221 Well, you look and sound bigger, but now you can’t bite ankles. 1.2245 0.04478 98 77 20 1
2222 I'll come out as soon as you show me your proof of vaccination. 1.2245 0.05135 98 80 14 4
2223 Talk about quarantine 1.2245 0.04478 98 77 20 1
2224 Like everything else, it's Covid related. 1.2243 0.04659 107 86 18 3
2225 Please don't give me that fish food again! 1.2243 0.05023 107 88 14 5
2226 Thanks, but I’d much rather get Covid. 1.2243 0.04659 107 86 18 3
2227 If you fill this damn bowl with water I'll swim the hell outta here. 1.2243 0.05023 107 88 14 5
2228 Are you assuming my species? 1.2243 0.04659 107 86 18 3
2229 And you told me at the kennel that you'd find a safe, snug home for me! 1.2243 0.04844 107 87 16 4
2230 It’s not what you think it is 1.2243 0.04844 107 87 16 4
2231 No, I can't dog paddle 1.2243 0.04659 107 86 18 3
2232 What did you think dogfish look like? 1.2241 0.04911 116 96 14 6
2233 Still no more privacy than a goldfish 1.2241 0.04596 116 94 18 4
2234 I ain’t leaving until you get vaccinated. 1.2237 0.05164 76 60 15 1
2235 If I shake it I hate to think what will float around. 1.2237 0.05164 76 60 15 1
2236 Blame Mick Stevens. He put me here. 1.2237 0.05493 76 61 13 2
2237 I ate the fish and drank the water. What you gonna do about it? 1.2235 0.05645 85 70 11 4
2238 I am NOT a sled dog and this is NOT a snow globe. Now can you let me out. 1.2235 0.05125 85 68 15 2
2239 The third time time I pissed on the floor, she shrunk me and stuck me in here. The first time you shit the bed, it's the Pleasant Valley Nursing Home for you. 1.2235 0.05645 85 70 11 4
2240 I am one up from teacup. 1.2235 0.05125 85 68 15 2
2241 I will not die quietly 1.2235 0.05888 85 71 9 5
2242 I didn't do it! 1.2234 0.05052 94 76 15 3
2243 I think you need to see an optometrist. I'm not the frog you think I am. 1.2234 0.05888 94 80 7 7
2244 Try looking at the foot of your bed 1.2234 0.05052 94 76 15 3
2245 So remind me again who told you I was a Portuguese Water Dog? 1.2234 0.04820 94 75 17 2
2246 I ate the sushi that was swimming in here. 1.2234 0.05273 94 77 13 4
2247 What? You've never seen a Goldfish Retriever before? 1.2234 0.04576 94 74 19 1
2248 People who live in glass houses should not have dogs. 1.2234 0.05273 94 77 13 4
2249 As a dog foster parent you have a lot to learn. 1.2233 0.04562 103 82 19 2
2250 Fish me out of here, will ya?!! 1.2233 0.04962 103 84 15 4
2251 I wish I could let you out but you haven't shown me your proof of vaccination yet. 1.2233 0.04962 103 84 15 4
2252 What's wrong? Fish got your tongue? 1.2233 0.04962 103 84 15 4
2253 Don't just stand there! Fetch me another goldfish! 1.2232 0.04865 112 92 15 5
2254 The worst part is cleaning the bowl. 1.2232 0.04696 112 91 17 4
2255 Definitely stones. But maybe shouldn't throw sticks either. 1.2232 0.04696 112 91 17 4
2256 I think Amazon mixed up my pee pad order! 1.2232 0.04865 112 92 15 5
2257 I've learned my lesson Bob, I am truly sorry I ate your goldfish." 1.2230 0.04456 139 115 17 7
2258 Dammit! Dammit! I hypnotized him but forgot that I don't know how to speak, so I can't tell him what to do! 1.2222 0.05188 90 73 14 3
2259 The infomercial said, ‘Just add water and wait 30 seconds.’ 1.2222 0.04665 99 79 18 2
2260 'Turning around three times before lying down is going to damage both me and he bowl...' 1.2222 0.04969 81 64 16 1
2261 A serial killer's best friend. 1.2222 0.05188 90 73 14 3
2262 I'm a golden fish retiever. 1.2222 0.05188 90 73 14 3
2263 I'd like the little pirate chest, hold the bubbles, and a bone." 1.2222 0.05270 81 65 14 2
2264 "Goldie was mocking me again AND I was real thirsty..." 1.2222 0.04941 90 72 16 2
2265 Your wife is cheating on you, you idiot. 1.2222 0.05827 81 67 10 4
2266 Ate the fish, drank the water. Get me out! 1.2222 0.04981 108 89 14 5
2267 Sushi anyone? 1.2222 0.04560 117 95 18 4
2268 I'm in the witness protection program. 1.2222 0.05087 99 81 14 4
2269 Don't bother. I'm not hungry anymore. 1.2222 0.04620 108 87 18 3
2270 I can't fetch, Kevin. 1.2222 0.05648 90 75 10 5
2271 Ok, you got me ok, now get me OUT! 1.2222 0.05865 90 76 8 6
2272 When I asked for a new dog bowl, this wasn’t exactly what I had in mind. 1.2222 0.04438 99 78 20 1
2273 I’m a rescue sea monkey. 1.2222 0.04560 117 95 18 4
2274 Wow !! Is this how dogfish looks like ? Yeah,I can see why they called it like that . Very interesting!! 1.2222 0.04941 90 72 16 2
2275 I told the cat, "don't do anything to anyone else that you wouldn't want done to yourself." 1.2222 0.04941 90 72 16 2
2276 My physical appearance can appeal to "dog people" and "cat people", and this bowl location may even interest some "goldfish people" 1.2222 0.05672 72 58 12 2
2277 Do I really look like some kind if fish, you idiot? 1.2222 0.05423 90 74 12 4
2278 You know fishing is my favorite sport 1.2222 0.05087 99 81 14 4
2279 I thought you said fish, not fetch 1.2222 0.05286 99 82 12 5
2280 I could have sworn I ordered a catfish. 1.2222 0.05270 81 65 14 2
2281 Believe me, everyone was wearing a mask 1.2213 0.04434 122 99 19 4
2282 If you can be non-binary why can't I? 1.2212 0.04312 104 82 21 1
2283 If you wanted a fish, you should have gotten a fish. 1.2212 0.04725 104 84 17 3
2284 First, you get a toy poodle, now you buy a boxer in a bubble? Do you have a thing for small canines? 1.2212 0.04725 104 84 17 3
2285 WOOF ! It was either me or you,master ! 1.2212 0.04725 104 84 17 3
2286 Who’s going to blink first? 1.2212 0.05105 104 86 13 5
2287 Social distancing 1.2212 0.04523 104 83 19 2
2288 On a first date I think you need to dress up more and you missed a spot shaving. But what do I know? I'm just a miniature talking dog trapped in this crystal globe. 1.2212 0.05458 104 88 9 7
2289 The sushi bar is closed. 1.2212 0.04918 104 85 15 4
2290 Did Goldie like the walk? 1.2211 0.05004 95 77 15 3
2291 I can’t wait to watch the puppy bowl. 1.2211 0.04775 95 76 17 2
2292 Why do you think you're seeing a dog when I'm clearly a fish? 1.2211 0.05433 95 79 11 5
2293 Because I’m a cat 1.2211 0.05433 95 79 11 5
2294 Gold lab, goldfish, what's the difference? 1.2211 0.04775 95 76 17 2
2295 Is this something you saw on Tik Tok, because I'm getting a bit claustrophobic. 1.2211 0.04534 95 75 19 1
2296 So I ate the silly fish. So what? 1.2211 0.05223 95 78 13 4
2297 I'm ready for the next course. 1.2211 0.05433 95 79 11 5
2298 You're still pissed that I forgot your birthday? 1.2211 0.04534 95 75 19 1
2299 See what I mean? Occam's razor is no darn help explaining this one! 1.2211 0.05223 95 78 13 4
2300 President Trump sent me to help the goldfish. 1.2211 0.04775 95 76 17 2
2301 I’m not ready to tell anyone else yet, so please keep this between us. 1.2211 0.05433 95 79 11 5
2302 I 'm still not a Portuguese water dog! 1.2211 0.04280 95 74 21 0
2303 Seriously, it’s think outside of the box! 1.2211 0.05223 95 78 13 4
2304 I heard you tell Mommy you love catfish. 1.2209 0.05072 86 69 15 2
2305 So much for the narrative that says you’re my best friend 1.2209 0.05585 86 71 11 4
2306 I'm guessing, he is flipping and flopping all around the backyard, out of breath, and wishing we made better choices. 1.2209 0.05335 86 70 13 3
2307 Three of 'em. Guppies, I think. When I woke up, here I was! Man, I hope you catch 'em! 1.2209 0.05335 86 70 13 3
2308 Stan & his 'Goldie retriever.' 1.2209 0.05335 86 70 13 3
2309 Fetch of the Day 1.2209 0.05585 86 71 11 4
2310 Is it time for my walk yet? 1.2209 0.05335 86 70 13 3
2311 Yeah, so how did the goldfish enjoy the park? 1.2208 0.06026 77 64 9 4
2312 I'm just one lost soul sitting in a fish bowl year after year. 1.2208 0.05429 77 62 13 2
2313 It just feels safer in here … 1.2203 0.04193 118 94 22 2
2314 This is another fine mess you've gotten me into. 1.2202 0.04764 109 89 16 4
2315 OK, I ate the fish. So what? 1.2202 0.04939 109 90 14 5
2316 A lot of people react the same way to a rough-coated dogfish. I get this all the time. 1.2202 0.04939 109 90 14 5
2317 You must really miss that fish. 1.2200 0.04623 100 80 18 2
2318 I'm house-sitting 1.2200 0.05041 100 82 14 4
2319 I know the housing market is tough right now, but this is ridiculous. 1.2200 0.05041 100 82 14 4
2320 No catfish, OK? 1.2200 0.05238 100 83 12 5
2321 My memory span is three seconds, and you're asking ME how it happened? 1.2200 0.04837 100 81 16 3
2322 Even a dog likes Sushi! 1.2200 0.04399 100 79 20 1
2323 Guess how many jelly beans I ate. 1.2200 0.05041 100 82 14 4
2324 'Scuse me, but if you were planning on having three wishes you should have gone for the lamp 1.2200 0.05041 100 82 14 4
2325 I'll come our after I see you proof of vaccination! 1.2200 0.05041 100 82 14 4
2326 Here's looking at you, baby 1.2200 0.05238 100 83 12 5
2327 Don't be so alarmed, I'm just a little doodle. 1.2200 0.05238 100 83 12 5
2328 It wasn't me. 1.2198 0.04893 91 73 16 2
2329 You know, at some point I'm going to outgrow this. 1.2198 0.05369 91 75 12 4
2330 Please get me out of this fishbowel because I'm a dog! and if you don't I'll sue The New Yorker for millions! 1.2198 0.05136 91 74 14 3
2331 That's not the ?? fish I bought at the pet store. 1.2198 0.05136 91 74 14 3
2332 The previous tenant was sub-letting. 1.2198 0.05136 91 74 14 3
2333 Who’s a good bubble boy? 1.2198 0.05136 91 74 14 3
2334 Look, being in the dog house is one thing, but this is down right humiliating! 1.2198 0.05136 91 74 14 3
2335 That's why I don't throw stones 1.2198 0.05591 91 76 10 5
2336 Larry, you know I'm a dog. Let me out! 1.2198 0.05369 91 75 12 4
2337 Where did the fish go 1.2198 0.05136 91 74 14 3
2338 I said, "Shake to ball, let's see if we can get a little snow around this place." 1.2198 0.05136 91 74 14 3
2339 well, how about a bit of a fern? 1.2198 0.05591 91 76 10 5
2340 Definitely not a catfish. 1.2198 0.05136 91 74 14 3
2341 Bone...I said give a dog a bone! 1.2198 0.05369 91 75 12 4
2342 That cat's gotta go! 1.2198 0.05136 91 74 14 3
2343 Your optometrist should get you a stronger prescription. 1.2195 0.04916 82 65 16 1
2344 It’s called karma. 1.2195 0.05494 82 67 12 3
2345 I don’t wanna be a good buoy. 1.2195 0.05213 82 66 14 2
2346 As a hologram and NFT, you can call me "DATA GOOD BOY!!!" 1.2195 0.05213 82 66 14 2
2347 Don't worry about me. I can deal with being in here. But you better see how the goldfish is doing in the doghouse 1.2195 0.05494 82 67 12 3
2348 What? Horse medicine makes a goldfish look like a dog. 1.2195 0.04916 82 65 16 1
2349 What did the goldfish do? 1.2195 0.05213 82 66 14 2
2350 Wrong pet. 1.2193 0.04622 114 93 17 4
2351 If he says Catfish one more time.... 1.2193 0.04622 114 93 17 4
2352 I know what yer thinking; but you're WRONG; I ordered it online 1.2193 0.04451 114 92 19 3
2353 Um, the fish asked me to watch their bowl while they went on vacation? 1.2192 0.05602 73 59 12 2
2354 Quick! Find the goldfish. 1.2192 0.05251 73 58 14 1
2355 I was picked up by aliens who did terrible things to me, gave me laced gummy bears, placed me in this sealed environment and brought me back home. 1.2190 0.04684 105 85 17 3
2356 See! I keep trying to tell you...there's something sinister about that cat! 1.2190 0.05238 105 88 11 6
2357 I wonder if this is the best of both worlds?" From the bowl a muffled "Woof! 1.2190 0.04684 105 85 17 3
2358 Next time buy a catfish, Dillweed. 1.2190 0.04876 105 86 15 4
2359 When you gaze long into the abyss, the abyss gazes also into you. 1.2190 0.04684 105 85 17 3
2360 Trust me, I’’m definitely hypoallergenic 1.2190 0.04876 105 86 15 4
2361 Give me some treats and I will tell fortune 1.2188 0.04730 96 77 17 2
2362 To you, Harold, the fish represents your feelings of being trapped in your life and your job. The reason that - in this dream - the fish has turned into me, your dog, is because I represent happiness. You wonder if you can be happy while trapped. 1.2188 0.05173 96 79 13 4
2363 Burp 1.2188 0.04730 96 77 17 2
2364 I asked her to buy a doge coin, not a doge koi. 1.2188 0.04957 96 78 15 3
2365 please get out Max, I said we're eating hotdogs not hot dogs. 1.2188 0.04730 96 77 17 2
2366 It all started with the philosophical question, "Do goldfish have many lives like cats," and one thing led to another. 1.2188 0.05173 96 79 13 4
2367 I probably should have sprung for the bird cage 1.2188 0.05381 96 80 11 5
2368 First, I heard a giant sucking sound!! 1.2188 0.04957 96 78 15 3
2369 Just take a peek in here, he said. 1.2185 0.04162 119 95 22 2
2370 I appreciate the gesture, but I'm just not a reservoir dog. 1.2184 0.05279 87 71 13 3
2371 I know I am supposed to be a toy breed, but this cage is still ridiculous. 1.2184 0.05019 87 70 15 2
2372 According to the vet, I have Covid and am therefore self isolating. 1.2184 0.05526 87 72 11 4
2373 The water was great, the goldfish, meh. 1.2184 0.04746 87 69 17 1
2374 You can go ahead and pour the water in, its me, I'm just trying on my cat outfit 1.2184 0.05019 87 70 15 2
2375 Oh, there you are. 1.2184 0.05019 87 70 15 2
2376 There must be a better way to pay tribute to Goldy. 1.2184 0.04746 87 69 17 1
2377 If Fauci asks where I am, you haven't seen me. 1.2184 0.05019 87 70 15 2
2378 No. I'm not going to do laps. 1.2182 0.04725 110 90 16 4
2379 Don’t’ ‘good doggie’ me, this is ridiculous! 1.2182 0.04725 110 90 16 4
2380 I really liked your new dog food. 1.2182 0.04357 110 88 20 2
2381 I'm pretty sure that it's you that's become so large! 1.2179 0.05668 78 64 11 3
2382 What? You never seen a dogfish before? 1.2179 0.05668 78 64 11 3
2383 You refused to wear a mask… 1.2179 0.05668 78 64 11 3
2384 Ok but you won’t eat the dog, right? 1.2179 0.05668 78 64 11 3
2385 You definitely said “terrarium”. 1.2179 0.06228 78 66 7 5
2386 I just asked for a damn water bowl! 1.2179 0.05366 78 63 13 2
2387 What, so only the goldfish was allowed to have his own space? 1.2179 0.05668 78 64 11 3
2388 Will you be a good boy and toss a stick in here? 1.2179 0.05366 78 63 13 2
2389 At least you won't have to change the water, but..... 1.2178 0.05190 101 84 12 5
2390 Please just put the food in the hole like you usually do. 1.2178 0.04794 101 82 16 3
2391 Not until I see your vaccine card, bud. 1.2178 0.05378 101 85 10 6
2392 Well, the glass does make you look thinner! 1.2178 0.04361 101 80 20 1
2393 It could always be worse, if you're upside-down in a blizzard. 1.2178 0.04996 101 83 14 4
2394 I said fetch, not fish! 1.2178 0.05190 101 84 12 5
2395 The gold fish was good but getting out is harder than it looks 1.2177 0.04370 124 101 19 4
2396 Just because it’s a bigger bowl, doesn’t mean I’ll put more food in it. 1.2174 0.05086 92 75 14 3
2397 Ok, let me try one more time to explain the difference between a fishbowl and a dog-bowl. 1.2174 0.05315 92 76 12 4
2398 Nice hobby. Why couldn't you just get Netflix like everyone else. 1.2174 0.04845 92 74 16 2
2399 I knew you could shrink me but the globe thing is new. 1.2174 0.05086 92 75 14 3
2400 You don’t need to keep me on such a tight leash. 1.2174 0.05086 92 75 14 3
2401 Is my lunch ready? 1.2174 0.05086 92 75 14 3
2402 I really had a taste for goldfish . . . Yada Yada Yada. And here we are. 1.2174 0.04749 115 95 15 5
2403 It was being koi, and I was being moi. 1.2174 0.05315 92 76 12 4
2404 In my metaverse, I'm a fish. 1.2174 0.05086 92 75 14 3
2405 Been framed, look into affairs of Dr. Purr 1.2170 0.05017 106 88 13 5
2406 Aww shucks!! If I hadn’t fed you so much I’d be able to get you out! 1.2170 0.05193 106 89 11 6
2407 WOW! Now I understand the idiom... FISH OUT OF WATER!! 1.2170 0.04834 106 87 15 4
2408 You said you wanted a dogfish. 1.2169 0.05434 83 68 12 3
2409 If you want this to work, I'm going to need scuba gear. 1.2169 0.04863 83 66 16 1
2410 Why am I here? I have no fins! 1.2169 0.05698 83 69 10 4
2411 Rub my belly for a fortune. 1.2169 0.05156 83 67 14 2
2412 It helps signal that I’m a low maintenance pet. 1.2169 0.05698 83 69 10 4
2413 How did you drink the water and eat the fish? 1.2169 0.05156 83 67 14 2
2414 If you're not going to walk me, could I read today's paper? 1.2167 0.04611 120 99 16 5
2415 Don't fence me in 1.2165 0.04687 97 78 17 2
2416 Covid has been so hard on people that sometimes Ed just had no words... 1.2165 0.04687 97 78 17 2
2417 It is better to be on the outside looking in than the inside looking out 1.2165 0.04687 97 78 17 2
2418 Sam recognized the dread miniature goldfish retriever. 1.2165 0.05330 97 81 11 5
2419 You know how a dogs sense of smell is 10,000 times more sensitive than a humans? Have a whiff of this bowl and see if you still think this is a good idea. 1.2165 0.04910 97 79 15 3
2420 For the hundredth time, I sanitized the tennis ball and I was wearing a mask. I don't need to be quarantined! 1.2165 0.05719 97 83 7 7
2421 What goldfish? This is a crystal ball! What is your question? 1.2165 0.05330 97 81 11 5
2422 My online order for "a miniature dog and fishbowl" was not grammatically correct. 1.2165 0.05124 97 80 13 4
2423 If you tell me how you got in there, maybe I can get you out 1.2165 0.05124 97 80 13 4
2424 The next time you experiment on me, at least give me a superpower. 1.2165 0.04687 97 78 17 2
2425 He chose the blue pill. 1.2159 0.05225 88 72 13 3
2426 I know you hate the song "Who let the dogs out" but this is a little extreme! 1.2159 0.04968 88 71 15 2
2427 This is an odd doghouse! 1.2159 0.04698 88 70 17 1
2428 I needed a space of my own. 1.2159 0.04968 88 71 15 2
2429 So, I says to him, 'G' and 'P' aren't even anywhere near each other on the keyboard ... 1.2159 0.05469 88 73 11 4
2430 Arf, arf, (I will not come out until you're vaccinated.) ARF, ARF!!! 1.2159 0.04968 88 71 15 2
2431 I wanted the ball, I didn't want to be the ball. 1.2157 0.04542 102 82 18 2
2432 Woof. I mean, uh…glub glub. 1.2157 0.04542 102 82 18 2
2433 If I'm in here,where is the fish? 1.2157 0.04751 102 83 16 3
2434 I'm not a dogfish, I'm a dog-fish. 1.2157 0.04951 102 84 14 4
2435 If I promise to stop barking, will you teleport me back to the spaceship? 1.2157 0.05144 102 85 12 5
2436 Dude, they were so salty, I had to drink the water. 1.2155 0.04382 116 94 19 3
2437 Every time I "speak" the echo in here is terrible 1.2152 0.05305 79 64 13 2
2438 Harold could not help but wonder if he was fully understanding the meaning of the exhibit entitled "dogfish". 1.2151 0.05263 93 77 12 4
2439 I was hungry. 1.2151 0.04798 93 75 16 2
2440 "Technically, it's squatting, but your command was to downsize, sit and stay put.'" 1.2151 0.05263 93 77 12 4
2441 Please don’t flush me down the toilet, I beg you. 1.2151 0.05263 93 77 12 4
2442 I bought this on clearance. It said some shrinking may occur. 1.2151 0.04798 93 75 16 2
2443 Shall I fetch some water? 1.2151 0.04798 93 75 16 2
2444 Did that ad say bulldog or bowl dog? 1.2150 0.04974 107 89 13 5
2445 You’re a fiend, Moriarty, and when I escape, I’ll track you down to the ends of the earth - and see you hanged! 1.2150 0.04974 107 89 13 5
2446 I heard fish are now man's best friend. 1.2150 0.04205 107 85 21 1
2447 In the Metaverse, nobody knows you're not really a dog. 1.2150 0.04793 107 88 15 4
2448 *the man found out what happened to the water and goldfish in the bowl 1.2150 0.04793 107 88 15 4
2449 Haven't you ever seen a wireless terrarium? 1.2143 0.05077 98 81 13 4
2450 This ain't how fortune telling works man let me out 1.2143 0.05375 84 69 12 3
2451 Don't just stand there! Make a wish. 1.2143 0.04812 84 67 16 1
2452 Don’t you dare put water in this! 1.2143 0.04812 84 67 16 1
2453 They said it was the best of both worlds, but I think it's actually the worst. 1.2143 0.05375 84 69 12 3
2454 You can't blame it on me while I'm in here. 1.2143 0.05475 98 83 9 6
2455 The were able to contain the koi-dog I compained about; apparently spelling matters. 1.2143 0.04648 112 92 16 4
2456 You said you were allergic to fish 1.2143 0.04818 112 93 14 5
2457 So, do you feel bad about the goldfish? 1.2143 0.05101 84 68 14 2
2458 This is not a coal mine? And that was not a canary?! 1.2143 0.05280 98 82 11 5
2459 ... er, glub, glub, glub 1.2143 0.05885 84 71 8 5
2460 Am I looking outor ar you looking in? 1.2143 0.05101 84 68 14 2
2461 I miss the fish too, but I don't think this is healthy. 1.2143 0.04648 112 92 16 4
2462 I'm the closest thing they had to a dogfish. 1.2143 0.05375 84 69 12 3
2463 People in glass houses shouldn't throw bones 1.2143 0.05375 84 69 12 3
2464 You’re too over protective. 1.2143 0.04865 98 80 15 3
2465 I wanted Ariel, you wanted a catfish. We can still make this work, right? 1.2137 0.04675 117 97 15 5
2466 What do you have for dessert? 1.2136 0.04907 103 85 14 4
2467 The Art of Taxidermy” by Jacque Cousteau 1.2136 0.04907 103 85 14 4
2468 The crystal ball shows you will need to get him checked for worms. 1.2136 0.05281 103 87 10 6
2469 George was not surprised when the network canceled the Pet Swap show. 1.2136 0.04907 103 85 14 4
2470 Do you even know what a dog bowl is? 1.2136 0.04058 103 81 22 0
2471 So this is what the shutdown felt like for you? 1.2136 0.04907 103 85 14 4
2472 I'm the one who needs rescuing. 1.2136 0.04907 103 85 14 4
2473 Before you pour the water, please look up "fish" in the wikipedia. 1.2136 0.04503 103 83 18 2
2474 I take it you're rethinking the whole pet thing. 1.2136 0.04286 103 82 20 1
2475 Just blame Covid. 1.2135 0.05171 89 73 13 3
2476 What if it had said "Catfish"? 1.2135 0.05412 89 74 11 4
2477 Hey. Could you toss me some litter? 1.2135 0.04918 89 72 15 2
2478 In a fishbowl nobody knows you're a dog. 1.2135 0.04368 89 70 19 0
2479 Like most Covid puppies Karl somehow felt like he was being watched at all times. 1.2135 0.05171 89 73 13 3
2480 Stop staring at me. I hate it when people stare at me like that. It makes me feel like I'm in a fishbowl or something. 1.2135 0.04918 89 72 15 2
2481 One day this will make a great party anecdote, trust me! 1.2135 0.04651 89 71 17 1
2482 I couldn't decide which pet to get. 1.2133 0.05467 75 61 12 2
2483 You win. Get the leash. 1.2130 0.04373 108 87 19 2
2484 Hey, I got thirsty. And the fish wasn't bad either. 1.2130 0.04567 108 88 17 3
2485 It takes two dogs to screw in a goldfish bowl, not one! 1.2130 0.04931 108 90 13 5
2486 To Ned's dismay, Barky had outgrown his teacup. 1.2130 0.04373 108 87 19 2
2487 OK, Boss - go find the goldfish......go...find...the...goldfish. 1.2130 0.04567 108 88 17 3
2488 Sit. Stay. 1.2128 0.04987 94 77 14 3
2489 Lately I feel like I'm living in a fish bowl. 1.2128 0.04987 94 77 14 3
2490 It's Zoom for pets. 1.2128 0.05212 94 78 12 4
2491 Stick your hand in the whole in the top... if you're feeling lucky. 1.2128 0.04752 94 76 16 2
2492 Fred, knew immediately what message his cat would be sending him: a goldfish wrapped in newspaper. 1.2128 0.04244 94 74 20 0
2493 Welcome to my world. 1.2128 0.04505 94 75 18 1
2494 Homework is just a stereotype. 1.2128 0.04987 94 77 14 3
2495 This is not the way to make me hypoallegeric 1.2128 0.05212 94 78 12 4
2496 I distinctly heard you tell the clerk that you wanted a Guppy! 1.2128 0.04752 94 76 16 2
2497 Hey, mister. I don’t think Bonsai dogs are such a good idea.” 1.2128 0.05427 94 79 10 5
2498 Sorry buddy, the cone of shame just wasn’t cutting it. 1.2128 0.04752 94 76 16 2
2499 We, the dogs, also have a crystal generation. 1.2128 0.05427 94 79 10 5
2500 I know, but the vacationing fish on page 31 asked me to housesit 1.2128 0.04987 94 77 14 3
2501 Fish got your tongue? 1.2128 0.05212 94 78 12 4
2502 You look like a big thinker, but micro-globalization is a terrible idea! 1.2128 0.05212 94 78 12 4
2503 Yeah, funny story how I ended up in here 1.2125 0.04934 80 64 15 1
2504 Dog Fish. Google it! 1.2125 0.05539 80 66 11 3
2505 Fine. Now get me out! 1.2125 0.05539 80 66 11 3
2506 I come in peace, but also to to be asked the rhetorical question: Who's a good boy? 1.2125 0.05539 80 66 11 3
2507 Are you sure my COVID test wasn't a false positive? I feel fine. 1.2125 0.05245 80 65 13 2
2508 The experiment worked! But there's a giant dead goldfish in the kennel. 1.2125 0.05817 80 67 9 4
2509 Let's talk about this. 1.2124 0.05251 113 97 8 8
2510 Damn, jumped universes again? 1.2124 0.04436 113 92 18 3
2511 Don't ask questions. Just get me out of here. 1.2124 0.04254 113 91 20 2
2512 Get the fish out of the kennel soon, please. 1.2121 0.04602 99 80 17 2
2513 You, next! 1.2121 0.05231 99 83 11 5
2514 Don't just stand there. Get me out of here! 1.2121 0.04602 99 80 17 2
2515 Oops, I overfed the goldfish. 1.2121 0.05030 99 82 13 4
2516 Is this what you meant when you said you were going to take me bowling? 1.2121 0.04602 99 80 17 2
2517 Really? A terrierium? 1.2121 0.04821 99 81 15 3
2518 Chaos reigns. 1.2118 0.04458 85 67 18 0
2519 I know you miss your goldfish, master, but who’s going to fetch your slippers? 1.2118 0.05317 85 70 12 3
2520 Yes, the electric eel was delicious. 1.2118 0.05317 85 70 12 3
2521 I didn't like the fish. He teased me about my bark. 1.2118 0.05317 85 70 12 3
2522 How d' ya expect me to be a good lap dog from in here? 1.2118 0.05575 85 71 10 4
2523 Throw me a fricken bone here. 1.2118 0.05047 85 69 14 2
2524 I must disagree-I have never seen a bumper sticker that says “Cats dig terrariums” 1.2118 0.05575 85 71 10 4
2525 I've always said: If you can't beat 'em, join 'em. 1.2118 0.05047 85 69 14 2
2526 Pet industry is getting out of hand.First tea-cup poodles and now aquarium beagles? 1.2115 0.05053 104 87 12 5
2527 Now you know why living in a bubble is so limiting. 1.2115 0.04864 104 86 14 4
2528 You're always watching me. I feel I'm living my life in a fishbowl. J.L. Kriegel Mount Holly, N.J. 1.2115 0.05053 104 87 12 5
2529 Climb in and walk me. 1.2115 0.05234 104 88 10 6
2530 it was an obvious error in judgement, boss 1.2113 0.05990 71 59 9 3
2531 Me and the fish thought we'd trade places for a day. He's out walking and I am in his bowl staring at you all day. 1.2111 0.04869 90 73 15 2
2532 I got catfished. 1.2111 0.04869 90 73 15 2
2533 I had to, I can't swim. 1.2111 0.04605 90 72 17 1
2534 They put ships much larger than I into a much smaller bottle. 1.2111 0.05357 90 75 11 4
2535 I'm lonely. Got any catfish? 1.2111 0.05119 90 74 13 3
2536 Frankly, these new digs have me feeling like carp. 1.2111 0.05357 90 75 11 4
2537 The cat said you were next. 1.2111 0.04869 90 73 15 2
2538 Well, something's fishy; but it ain't me. 1.2111 0.05357 90 75 11 4
2539 How much is this doggie in the window? 1.2111 0.04605 90 72 17 1
2540 This isn't quite what I meant by "I'd love a new bowl for my birthday" 1.2111 0.05357 90 75 11 4
2541 Don't panic if you see me lying belly-up. 1.2110 0.04529 109 89 17 3
2542 You got me in here, now get me out! 1.2110 0.04713 109 90 15 4
2543 Remember that goldfish? He lives on the comfy chair now. 1.2110 0.04713 109 90 15 4
2544 I mean, I would expect something like this from the cat, but... 1.2110 0.04337 109 88 19 2
2545 Paraphrasing Willie Sutton- “Because that’s where the food is”. 1.2105 0.04463 95 76 18 1
2546 Young Fauci’s first doggy torture experiment. 1.2105 0.04940 95 78 14 3
2547 Uh, trick or treat? 1.2105 0.05161 95 79 12 4
2548 Well, let me explain . . . 1.2105 0.05067 76 61 14 1
2549 Honey…I said I wanted a BULL dog 1.2105 0.04463 95 76 18 1
2550 There wasn't room for two of us 1.2105 0.04708 95 77 16 2
2551 Oh, if I could only throw a stone. 1.2105 0.04940 95 78 14 3
2552 I wasn't aware you liked Sushi. 1.2105 0.04940 95 78 14 3
2553 Oh, fuck! 1.2105 0.04708 95 77 16 2
2554 Now, you're in the dog house. 1.2101 0.04282 119 97 19 3
2555 No, you’re the very first person to call me a bowl terrier. 1.2100 0.04560 100 81 17 2
2556 I asked the djinn for a fourth wish, and this is what he did. 1.2100 0.04333 100 80 19 1
2557 If you let me out of here I’ll, uh… I’ll do the peanut butter thing 1.2100 0.05374 100 85 9 6
2558 Carpe diem ? I thought you said carp must die. 1.2100 0.05374 100 85 9 6
2559 Great. No one told me there'd be humans here. 1.2100 0.04984 100 83 13 4
2560 I promise I'll be a good boy. 1.2100 0.04777 100 82 15 3
2561 You spent $235 Dollars on me. Now how do you feel? 1.2100 0.04777 100 82 15 3
2562 How about a water bowl that’s not repurposed? 1.2100 0.04560 100 81 17 2
2563 Yeah, I have heard the one about the dogfish. 1.2099 0.05751 81 68 9 4
2564 Please don’t fill this with water! 1.2099 0.05187 81 66 13 2
2565 Before you say anything let me explain,there just wasn't room for two in this fish bowl....(burp) 1.2099 0.05187 81 66 13 2
2566 No scuba guy? 1.2099 0.05187 81 66 13 2
2567 Think. Where did you put Goldie? 1.2099 0.05476 81 67 11 3
2568 I knew I shouldn't have gotten the booster shot. 1.2099 0.05187 81 66 13 2
2569 Well, I was younger then, and smaller. 1.2099 0.05187 81 66 13 2
2570 No, I am not a Chia Pet, so please don't add water! 1.2095 0.04426 105 85 18 2
2571 Don’t look now, but there’s a 200 pound goldfish swimming around in Keegan’s wading pool. 1.2095 0.04822 105 87 14 4
2572 You had your day in space, Jeff. But back here at home, this is still a fishbowl, I'm your dog, and it's time for our walk. 1.2095 0.05362 105 90 8 7
2573 It's not ideal but at least I'm doing better than the goldfish in the back yard. 1.2095 0.04426 105 85 18 2
2574 Yeah I get this is a clumsy metaphor but you're living in a bubble. 1.2095 0.04822 105 87 14 4
2575 Ok, I'll wear a MAsk. 1.2095 0.04426 105 85 18 2
2576 Hi, handsome! My Metaverse name is Pretty. 1.2095 0.04822 105 87 14 4
2577 Bad Rover. Are you ready to apologize? 1.2095 0.04822 105 87 14 4
2578 I wanted to see how living in a fishbowl compared to a dogs life. 1.2095 0.04822 105 87 14 4
2579 haven't you ever seen a dogfish? 1.2093 0.05261 86 71 12 3
2580 It seems like 20 minutes of my life has been wasted 1.2093 0.04994 86 70 14 2
2581 No offense, but I also want to be the master of my home. 1.2093 0.04994 86 70 14 2
2582 At least, I'm flea free 1.2093 0.04994 86 70 14 2
2583 Fish is yummy. 1.2093 0.04712 86 69 16 1
2584 Fish always makes me thirsty. 1.2093 0.04994 86 70 14 2
2585 You were maybe expecting a goldfish? 1.2091 0.04492 110 90 17 3
2586 Well, I was allergic to catfish 1.2091 0.04492 110 90 17 3
2587 Walk time. C'mon in. 1.2091 0.05018 110 93 11 6
2588 I found your astronaut helmet 1.2088 0.04821 91 74 15 2
2589 I don't know where the fish is. I lost the bet. 1.2088 0.04821 91 74 15 2
2590 It's a little reductive to call it a fishbowl, don't you think? 1.2088 0.04560 91 73 17 1
2591 OK. I won't mention the goldfish to anyone. 1.2088 0.05303 91 76 11 4
2592 Oh, interesting. I only knew about catfish. 1.2088 0.05068 91 75 13 3
2593 Goldie stepped out for a minute.Can I help you? I'm his cousin Catfish. 1.2088 0.05068 91 75 13 3
2594 No I just took you out 5 minutes ago. 1.2088 0.05068 91 75 13 3
2595 Exotic little fish make me thirsty. 1.2088 0.04821 91 74 15 2
2596 I mean look at me. This dingo could not have eaten that baby! 1.2088 0.05303 91 76 11 4
2597 Unfortunately it was an alpha versus omega-3 situation. 1.2088 0.04560 91 73 17 1
2598 My name is Snowflake. What’s your? 1.2087 0.04703 115 96 14 5
2599 Jeff, even a holographic pet can get bored. 1.2083 0.04663 96 78 16 2
2600 Now do you like me? 1.2083 0.05322 96 81 10 5
2601 S.O.S.: Urine pools directly on my nap spot every single time. 1.2083 0.04663 96 78 16 2
2602 Get a life...and you think you live in a bubble. 1.2083 0.04893 96 79 14 3
2603 What? You're the one who ordered the DogFish ! 1.2083 0.04568 120 100 15 5
2604 ...and you think you had allergies? 1.2083 0.04663 96 78 16 2
2605 I prefer a tea cup. 1.2083 0.04422 96 77 18 1
2606 - The cat did it. I just drank the water 1.2083 0.04422 96 77 18 1
2607 I promise not to throw stones. 1.2083 0.05210 72 58 13 1
2608 The vet bills just keep skyrocketing. 1.2083 0.04663 96 78 16 2
2609 You promised me an audience. Where is it? 1.2083 0.05112 96 80 12 4
2610 Could you grab my flippers? 1.2083 0.04663 96 78 16 2
2611 If you think this is strange, wait until you try and walk the fish on a leash! 1.2083 0.04422 96 77 18 1
2612 Listen, we all miss Bubbles, but this isn't helping anyone. 1.2079 0.05135 101 85 11 5
2613 I promise. I won't chase cats any longer. 1.2079 0.05324 101 86 9 6
2614 If you were thirsty, why didn't you just say so? 1.2079 0.04939 101 84 13 4
2615 If you wanted a fish, just get a fish. 1.2079 0.04734 101 83 15 3
2616 I feel confined by your limited concept of who I am. 1.2078 0.05008 77 62 14 1
2617 Walk . . . w-a-l-k . . . you remember!! 1.2075 0.04589 106 87 16 3
2618 Sorry. I'll never let anyone else pet me again. 1.2075 0.04965 106 89 12 5
2619 I thought this was for my ashes. 1.2075 0.04965 106 89 12 5
2620 Outlook not so good. 1.2075 0.04388 106 86 18 2
2621 The goldfish was tasty. But now I'd like to get out. 1.2075 0.04780 106 88 14 4
2622 Take me to your Feeder! 1.2075 0.04780 106 88 14 4
2623 What did you think it meant when you heard there was a bubble in dog breeding? 1.2073 0.05415 82 68 11 3
2624 Goldie was delicious. 1.2073 0.05129 82 67 13 2
2625 I’m a lot better off than that dogfish in the kennel crate. 1.2073 0.05945 82 70 7 5
2626 You don’t get this whole “pet thing,” do you? 1.2073 0.05686 82 69 9 4
2627 You ate the pheasant, didn't you? 1.2073 0.05129 82 67 13 2
2628 It’s not a fish tank, it’s my COVID bubble 1.2073 0.05129 82 67 13 2
2629 I’m from a forgiving species, but this is ridiculous. 1.2073 0.05415 82 68 11 3
2630 How 'bout some fetch? 1.2072 0.04635 111 92 15 4
2631 Thanks for the fish 1.2072 0.04455 111 91 17 3
2632 Snow globe, Magic 8 Ball, genie, goldfish, crystal ball, failed Google project…whatever I am, just feed me, okay? 1.2072 0.04267 111 90 19 2
2633 Now, the din of my 'ruffs' are as ineffective as you on ladies' night. 1.2069 0.05456 87 73 10 4
2634 This is what it’s like with no privacy. 1.2069 0.04942 87 71 14 2
2635 Years from now, everyone will want you tell them how you put me in this! 1.2069 0.04942 87 71 14 2
2636 Hey pal. I'm a dogfish. 1.2069 0.05456 87 73 10 4
2637 My great great grandfather was a sea monkey. 1.2069 0.05206 87 72 12 3
2638 All things considered,I 1.2069 0.04664 87 70 16 1
2639 I didn’t do it — the bowl was empty when I got here. 1.2069 0.05206 87 72 12 3
2640 I know. No funging in the bowl. 1.2069 0.05696 87 74 8 5
2641 I told you, I’m not a water dog. 1.2069 0.05206 87 72 12 3
2642 What did you expect when you adopted a goldfish retriever? 1.2069 0.05696 87 74 8 5
2643 Okay Bozo, I'm never going to be a dogfish, so let me out of here ! 1.2065 0.04773 92 75 15 2
2644 Entering adolescence. 1.2065 0.04773 92 75 15 2
2645 First, Kitty jumped in, and then I jumped in, and I just needed more space. 1.2065 0.05017 92 76 13 3
2646 Good dog! Now lie down! 1.2065 0.05017 92 76 13 3
2647 I knew that teaching you to breathe underwater would be useful. 1.2065 0.05017 92 76 13 3
2648 You always complained that it would be easier to have a pet fish than a dog. 1.2065 0.05473 92 78 9 5
2649 As Thoreau said to Emerson, "What are you doing out of jail?" 1.2065 0.05473 92 78 9 5
2650 How am I supposed to learn any new tricks in this? 1.2065 0.05017 92 76 13 3
2651 Make a wish." 1.2063 0.04112 126 103 20 3
2652 I used to be a goldfish until somebody made this stupid wish 1.2062 0.05064 97 81 12 4
2653 This is not what I meant when I said I needed a new bowl! 1.2062 0.04620 97 79 16 2
2654 Well, here's another nice mess you've gotten me into. 1.2062 0.04847 97 80 14 3
2655 Never take a nap in a glassblower’s studio. 1.2062 0.05271 97 82 10 5
2656 I need to go for a swim. 1.2062 0.04620 97 79 16 2
2657 Not sure this arrangement is a sustainable long-term solution for your allergy 1.2062 0.04847 97 80 14 3
2658 Turns out Doge does have a bubble. 1.2062 0.04847 97 80 14 3
2659 I should have a small bubble too! 1.2062 0.05271 97 82 10 5
2660 Could you, at least get me some curtains? 1.2062 0.04847 97 80 14 3
2661 Well, what did you expect? 1.2062 0.05064 97 81 12 4
2662 “This is not the proper response to, ‘Fetch me a bowl of water.’” 1.2062 0.04847 97 80 14 3
2663 You said, fetch. The Choi got it. 1.2059 0.05089 102 86 11 5
2664 Rescue me, Timmy. 1.2059 0.06478 68 58 6 4
2665 Have you seen a fish with a tennis ball? He said he’d be right back. 1.2059 0.05089 102 86 11 5
2666 So first the cat ate the fish, and then what?! 1.2059 0.05760 68 56 10 2
2667 Dude, did you take six Ambien again? 1.2056 0.04550 107 88 16 3
2668 When a trainer tells you to « respect the dog’s bubble », you can slack the leash a little bit, man. 1.2056 0.04922 107 90 12 5
2669 uh! now you know what's global warming.. 1.2056 0.04550 107 88 16 3
2670 And just like that, barking is no longer a problem for Rob and his Chihuahua. 1.2056 0.04922 107 90 12 5
2671 You asked the genie for a little bud inside a bowl. 1.2055 0.05839 73 61 9 3
2672 Come on man! Can you get a little more creative with my doghouse request. 1.2055 0.05146 73 59 13 1
2673 Just because I'm a husky doesn't mean that I find contentment and fulfillment being kept in a snow-globe. 1.2054 0.04769 112 94 13 5
2674 It’s like living in a fishbowl 1.2054 0.04597 112 93 15 4
2675 Are you ready to behave. 1.2054 0.04935 112 95 11 6
2676 Please give me one more chance with the "cone of shame". 1.2054 0.04769 112 94 13 5
2677 It’s a dog eat fish world in here. 1.2051 0.05583 78 65 10 3
2678 The dinner was delicious, but the ocean ambiance was a little over the top. 1.2051 0.05276 78 64 12 2
2679 I think you put "goldie" in the doghouse! 1.2051 0.04950 78 63 14 1
2680 Let's play with the ouija board.. That's what you said.. You're a genius. 1.2049 0.04647 122 103 13 6
2681 I'm bored. 1.2048 0.05073 83 68 13 2
2682 Sure it's awkward for you, but at least I'll last more than a week. 1.2048 0.04775 83 67 15 1
2683 I heard it's a dog eat dog world so this is where I live now. 1.2048 0.05623 83 70 9 4
2684 I'm babysitting. 1.2048 0.04775 83 67 15 1
2685 You better change this sand soon. I'm no catfish. 1.2048 0.05355 83 69 11 3
2686 Face it, George, I’m not a goldfish. 1.2048 0.05355 83 69 11 3
2687 I love being the center of attention. 1.2048 0.04457 83 66 17 0
2688 I'm still waiting for my walk. 1.2048 0.05355 83 69 11 3
2689 You find a studio with glass walls at this price. 1.2048 0.05355 83 69 11 3
2690 I need to take a roll. 1.2048 0.05073 83 68 13 2
2691 How dare you! This is not how you play "go fish." Christine Field Fresno, CA 1.2048 0.05623 83 70 9 4
2692 Where’s my bowl? 1.2048 0.05073 83 68 13 2
2693 The cat said, “Try it. It’ll be fun.” 1.2048 0.05073 83 68 13 2
2694 How about the castle? 1.2048 0.04775 83 67 15 1
2695 Please - I didn't do it ! 1.2045 0.05152 88 73 12 3
2696 Dogfish was a terrible appellation." 1.2045 0.04891 88 72 14 2
2697 How’s the air out there? 1.2045 0.04617 88 71 16 1
2698 Read the syllabus again. On page 5 it explains how to determine whether I'm a dog or dogfish, moron. 1.2045 0.05636 88 75 8 5
2699 What planet are you from? 1.2043 0.04968 93 77 13 3
2700 I've reduced my pandemic bubble to just those who are important to me. 1.2043 0.04727 93 76 15 2
2701 Hmm…this dogfish is more dog than fish. 1.2043 0.04473 93 75 17 1
2702 Don't even think about a dogfish joke 1.2043 0.04727 93 76 15 2
2703 You seem unsatisfied with the dog bowl that you ordered online. 1.2043 0.05418 93 79 9 5
2704 No no, it's TEACUP Yorkie..." Andy Mathieson, Los Angeles, Cali 1.2043 0.04968 93 77 13 3
2705 Never mind that. How did YOU get out THERE? 1.2043 0.05418 93 79 9 5
2706 You were expecting a bonsai dinosaur, right? 1.2043 0.04968 93 77 13 3
2707 You need to stop eating pizza before bedtime. 1.2043 0.05418 93 79 9 5
2708 I told you before: I'm NOT a dogfish. 1.2043 0.04473 93 75 17 1
2709 Bubbles wouldn’t fetch either, right? 1.2043 0.04968 93 77 13 3
2710 The ship sailed without me. 1.2043 0.04473 93 75 17 1
2711 Life gets better. At least that’s what politicians tell us. 1.2043 0.04727 93 76 15 2
2712 Puppy, guppy, I get it, it happens… Putting me in a bowl Mark? 1.2043 0.04968 93 77 13 3
2713 Don't judge. You're the one who left my water bowl empty. 1.2043 0.04473 93 75 17 1
2714 Yeah,I lost the bet with the goldfish. 1.2043 0.04968 93 77 13 3
2715 I thought they were catfish. 1.2041 0.04342 98 79 18 1
2716 Ya, ya, I know how I look. But like you always say, it must be because of the cold water. 1.2041 0.04577 98 80 16 2
2717 I got in here by accident. 1.2041 0.04577 98 80 16 2
2718 You don't even want to know what happened. 1.2041 0.04802 98 81 14 3
2719 Your fish skipped town. I like the view here better than the floor. 1.2041 0.04802 98 81 14 3
2720 After labradoodles, cockapoos, and puggles are you so surprised? 1.2041 0.04802 98 81 14 3
2721 Sparky, what happened to the new catfish? 1.2041 0.04802 98 81 14 3
2722 You should have seen the one that got away. 1.2041 0.04577 98 80 16 2
2723 Keep the cat away! 1.2039 0.04441 103 84 17 2
2724 Jeez, if it isn't Mr-Ships-In-Bottles-Are-So-Boring! 1.2039 0.05228 103 88 9 6
2725 I didn't believe in global warming either Dan but I'm telling you the water level is about to rise 1.2039 0.04851 103 86 13 4
2726 I didn’t know how else to tell you 1.2039 0.04441 103 84 17 2
2727 Exotic fish? No. You must have left them in the car. 1.2039 0.04221 103 83 19 1
2728 They were delicious! 1.2037 0.04699 108 90 14 4
2729 Sure beats obscurity. 1.2035 0.04560 113 94 15 4
2730 Imagine, if it were a snow globe. 1.2035 0.04560 113 94 15 4
2731 That’s what you get when you bite a witch. 1.2034 0.04593 118 99 14 5
2732 We obviously have different ideas about what constitutes diversity, equity, and inclusion. 1.2034 0.04265 118 97 18 3
2733 What are you staring at? Never seen a catfish? 1.2029 0.05684 69 57 10 2
2734 Please don't pour water in. 1.2027 0.05435 74 61 11 2
2735 If you can't beat 'em, join 'em. 1.2027 0.05435 74 61 11 2
2736 I think we've outgrown each other. 1.2025 0.05215 79 65 12 2
2737 Hey it's worse for the other guy. 1.2025 0.05518 79 66 10 3
2738 I thought I was your best friend. 1.2025 0.04894 79 64 14 1
2739 Sorry. You're too late. I ate all the cookies. 1.2025 0.05804 79 67 8 4
2740 Ugh. The text field parsed my entry wrong and lost most of it! 1.2025 0.05215 79 65 12 2
2741 Steve, I tried to warn you to buy your air before they all ran out. 1.2024 0.04410 84 67 17 0
2742 You have your fishbowl; I have mine. 1.2024 0.05297 84 70 11 3
2743 Guilty as charged, so what? I never anticipated that I would have to drink all of the water or drown. 1.2024 0.05561 84 71 9 4
2744 First I had to drink all the water… 1.2024 0.05019 84 69 13 2
2745 Life, uh… finds a way. 1.2024 0.05297 84 70 11 3
2746 Wish you were here. 1.2024 0.05561 84 71 9 4
2747 One day we’ll be past this pandemic. 1.2024 0.05297 84 70 11 3
2748 When your pet lives in a glass house, you shouldn't get stoned. 1.2024 0.05019 84 69 13 2
2749 I only wanted to see how the other half lives. 1.2024 0.05297 84 70 11 3
2750 Dried worms add a 'je ne sais quoi' to the fish soup. 1.2024 0.05019 84 69 13 2
2751 You’re probably not going to want to look in my crate. 1.2024 0.05561 84 71 9 4
2752 OK, hello! Waiting for some snow over here! 1.2022 0.04570 89 72 16 1
2753 The fish was drowning, so... 1.2022 0.05099 89 74 12 3
2754 Could you at least get me some fake algae? This place is bleak even for a goldfish. 1.2022 0.04570 89 72 16 1
2755 " Oh ok, so this is the vaccine testing site " 1.2022 0.05099 89 74 12 3
2756 Look deeply into my eyes. I’m your inner dog. I’m telling you to get me out of here, feed me, and take me for a walk. 1.2022 0.05099 89 74 12 3
2757 Sorry about the fish. Are we still friends? 1.2022 0.05099 89 74 12 3
2758 How did you manage to get me in here, wise guy! 1.2022 0.04842 89 73 14 2
2759 What you got against Cat Fishes? 1.2022 0.05343 89 75 10 4
2760 I move in here and you won't have to walk me. 1.2022 0.04842 89 73 14 2
2761 Exotic f