Contest #769


Cartoon

769

The winning captions

These captions are chosen by The New Yorker.

  1. "His favorite book is 'A Farewell to Arms,' so don't get too close."
  2. "Clyde here handles returns."
  3. "Go ahead, ask him anything. He's a voracious reader."


Name Value
Submission deadline 2021-08-30T00:04:00.000Z
Voting started -
Voting ended 2021-09-13T00:05:00.000Z
Finalists announced 2021-09-07T00:05:00.000Z
Magazine(s) announcing finalists issued September 13, 2021
Number of captions 8039
Number of responses 921031
Number of participants -


Dashboard

In this table, the "mean" means the empirically measured average funniness score when the "unfunny", "somewhat funny" and "funny" receive a funniness score of 1, 2, 3 respectively. "Precison" is the standard error of the mean, the standard deviation of the mean estimate. With that, a caption with an empirical mean μ and precision σ has true mean in the range [μ - 2σ, μ + 2σ] with 95% probability by the 68-95-99.7 rule assuming the responses are indepedent and identically distributed.

Rank Caption Mean Precision Total votes "Unfunny" votes "Somewhat funny" votes "Funny" votes
0 Trying to make it feel more like Amazon. I mean, the Amazon. 2.1391 0.01339 4228 1348 944 1936
1 His favorite book is A Farewell to Arms, so don't get too close. 1.9068 0.00997 7006 2797 2065 2144
2 His name's Readers Digest. 1.8638 0.02343 1226 507 379 340
3 It's not really a book signing. More of an eat and greet. 1.8600 0.01225 4379 1789 1414 1176
4 …yeah, we ordered from the wrong Amazon. 1.8588 0.01168 5198 2260 1412 1526
5 Well, we got a spider in to get rid of the flies, and it just escalated from there… 1.8470 0.01534 2759 1139 903 717
6 The customer said it's a service animal, but I think that's a croc. 1.8429 0.01541 2744 1143 889 712
7 Voracious, yes. Reader, no. 1.8369 0.01499 2845 1179 951 715
8 He can go through an author a week 1.8361 0.01869 1690 660 647 383
9 He won’t bite you, he has a reptile dysfunction. 1.8254 0.01541 2966 1348 788 830
10 I’d take that belt off if I were you. 1.8164 0.01251 3954 1652 1376 926
11 Welcome to Florida where the wildlife is smarter than the governor 1.8136 0.01543 3025 1423 743 859
12 It’s not so much the books, it’s the writers he likes 1.8091 0.01539 2593 1091 906 596
13 We've found that he really enjoys more seasoned authors. 1.8083 0.01490 2660 1089 992 579
14 What kind of dog was it? 1.8068 0.01005 6898 3201 1830 1867
15 Yeah, business is off some, but shoplifting is not a problem anymore. 1.8000 0.01310 3270 1310 1304 656
16 The books under him are for sale too, but they cost an arm and a leg. 1.7976 0.01287 4066 1864 1161 1041
17 Clyde here handles returns. 1.7926 0.01363 3211 1359 1159 693
18 My associate wants to know if you are planning to purchase the book you put in your pocket. 1.7836 0.01292 3614 1566 1264 784
19 He says Little Women makes him cry but I just don’t know if those tears are genuine 1.7792 0.01564 2491 1094 853 544
20 Don’t worry. He’s vaccinated. 1.7619 0.01632 2293 1038 763 492
21 Your shoes reminds him of someone he once knew. 1.7582 0.01377 3193 1446 1073 674
22 That book will cost you an arm and a leg. 1.7566 0.01424 2995 1363 998 634
23 That’s our books-to-die-for section 1.7560 0.01881 1713 779 573 361
24 And you say it was Wednesday your child came here to browse? 1.7556 0.01601 2492 1174 753 565
25 Florida runaway. He’s terrified of the Governor. 1.7541 0.01537 2814 1366 774 674
26 In a while, bibliophile. 1.7527 0.01596 2535 1209 744 582
27 Grabs you from page 1, and doesn't let go 1.7515 0.01588 2302 1025 824 453
28 Finally, a mask mandate with real teeth. 1.7463 0.01690 2172 1019 685 468
29 You’d look smug too if you finished Moby Dick in one sitting. 1.7419 0.01465 2782 1282 936 564
30 Shoplifting is down, but so are sales. 1.7408 0.01838 1597 691 629 277
31 Go ahead, ask him anything. He's a voracious reader. 1.7394 0.01528 2771 1351 791 629
32 Back to lose your other arm, Mr ‘I ain’t no shoplifter’? 1.7391 0.01596 2445 1163 757 525
33 „He‘s just had his first customer today.“ 1.7337 0.01576 2415 1131 796 488
34 New to Florida, huh? 1.7292 0.01620 2190 1006 771 413
35 I’m allergic to cats. 1.7227 0.01853 2045 1080 452 513
36 No mask? Meet George 1.7168 0.01792 1847 883 604 360
37 No sir you cannot pat him, he is an emotional support alligator. 1.7161 0.01775 1828 859 629 340
38 It's a rare hard cover edition of Trump's "Drain the Swamp" 1.7153 0.01895 1728 852 516 360
39 They told me I should incorporate aspects of the Amazon model to stay competitive. 1.7127 0.02000 1514 738 473 303
40 Six feet social distance is mandatory. 1.7102 0.01844 1663 781 583 299
41 He's signing copies of his memoir - "On the Other Hand: My life with Captain Hook" 1.7097 0.01860 1791 890 531 370
42 He appears to be admiring your shoes. 1.7085 0.01863 1616 757 573 286
43 You think THAT'S the weird part of this dream? You're standing in an independent bookstore in 2021. 1.7062 0.02052 1552 802 404 346
44 The cat quit. 1.7059 0.02228 1197 583 383 231
45 This is the “Help!” section. 1.7003 0.02135 1515 818 333 364
46 Well, the bookshop cat has become something of a cliché. 1.6996 0.02220 1142 544 397 201
47 Shoplifting's been way down this year. 1.6985 0.01984 1373 640 507 226
48 A biting satire with a plot that will grip you to the end—all in a handsome, leather-bound edition. 1.6968 0.02074 1395 694 430 271
49 Not sure where the other one's hiding... 1.6963 0.02184 1225 600 397 228
50 Let’s just say that we used to have a bookstore cat. 1.6922 0.02093 1264 604 445 215
51 You said you wanted something that grabs you and won't let go. 1.6906 0.02106 1377 699 405 273
52 We now have shredding, by the way. 1.6889 0.02862 675 324 237 114
53 We call him Reader's Digest because he digests readers. 1.6876 0.02155 1258 630 393 235
54 You'll be fine unless you have a chicken in your pocket. 1.6876 0.02202 1181 580 390 211
55 When you said the new hire was green, I thought we were talking experience 1.6865 0.02146 1158 547 427 184
56 It's from the original Amazon. 1.6853 0.02260 1182 601 352 229
57 No, I said I got him from THE Amazon. 1.6843 0.02190 1245 630 378 237
58 Of course, it's alive. What possible use would a dead alligator be? 1.6839 0.02278 1120 558 358 204
59 Can I interest you in "A Farewell to Arms?" 1.6836 0.02351 1220 665 276 279
60 Of course he's stuffed. He just swallowed a Dan Brown novel. 1.6822 0.02283 1092 539 361 192
61 Just don’t say, ‘See ya later’… 1.6822 0.02286 1161 595 340 226
62 She only bites if you browse our shop and then purchase online. 1.6812 0.02318 1120 572 333 215
63 The books to my right cost an arm and a leg. 1.6771 0.02383 1025 517 322 186
64 Peter Pan is no longer available. 1.6741 0.02445 982 500 302 180
65 Sorry, we don't have a book on alligators, but we do have an alligator on books. 1.6725 0.02369 1032 523 324 185
66 We have this deal - he doesn't sell books, & I don't eat customers. 1.6709 0.02459 942 474 304 164
67 Turns out a lot of people are allergic to cats. 1.6705 0.02449 947 476 307 164
68 We find it minimizes aimless browsing. 1.6696 0.02415 923 451 326 146
69 He’s tired of mice and men. He really wants to kill a mockingbird. 1.6618 0.02686 896 492 215 189
70 She’s best known for her cookbook Eat Prey Love 1.6602 0.02714 874 480 211 183
71 He won't bother you. He's busy digesting a good book. 1.6601 0.02500 918 472 286 160
72 I wouldn’t come any further in those shoes if I were you. 1.6599 0.02488 982 522 272 188
73 No—crocodile. Why would you keep an alligator in a bookstore?” 1.6551 0.02838 777 423 199 155
74 Well, if it isn't the critic who said my last book was a crock. 1.6522 0.02694 782 405 244 133
75 Interestingly, shoplifting's down 92.5% 1.6519 0.02544 905 477 266 162
76 He generally prefers biting satire. 1.6515 0.02721 792 418 232 142
77 It's your lucky day. We just had a spot open up in our book club. 1.6513 0.02709 757 388 245 124
78 ‘He’s devoured all the classics.’ 1.6512 0.02647 843 447 243 153
79 Are you certain you had both arms when you came in here? 1.6511 0.02789 814 449 200 165
80 If you can remove a book from his section, the second book is half price. 1.6510 0.02687 785 407 245 133
81 I had six copies of that but it seems they were all snapped up. 1.6491 0.02663 721 355 264 102
82 No, it's an alligator. Crocodiles can't read. 1.6488 0.02908 746 412 184 150
83 I didn't say it's a book on alligators, I said it's an alligator on books. 1.6480 0.02693 716 356 256 104
84 I'll either see you later or after a while; I can never remember which. 1.6475 0.02713 783 412 235 136
85 Are you sure your dog came in here? 1.6473 0.02745 811 441 215 155
86 Let's just say we no longer have a shoplifting problem. 1.6471 0.02729 714 360 246 108
87 That's the biting satire section. 1.6467 0.02819 753 405 209 139
88 If you're here for 'Brunch with the Author,' just take a seat. We'll be starting as soon as we find him. 1.6458 0.02821 703 365 222 116
89 He's a voracious reader. 1.6452 0.02771 761 405 221 135
90 It’s called predatory pricing 1.6448 0.02784 715 370 229 116
91 He keeps out all the other emotional support animals. 1.6445 0.02869 723 389 202 132
92 His memoir paints Peter Pan in a very different light. 1.6441 0.02846 753 411 199 143
93 That’s the author of “Draining the Swamp – The Unintended Consequences.” 1.6420 0.03009 715 405 161 149
94 Sure, but I’d wager ‘Taste like chicken’ is a mutual sentiment. 1.6408 0.02832 746 405 204 137
95 He's a rescue. I got him before the guy from the shoe store 1.6404 0.02672 773 402 247 124
96 Larry here cuts down on the casual browsers. 1.6402 0.02724 667 328 251 88
97 They're 90 percent off, but you have to get them yourself. 1.6395 0.02753 760 405 224 131
98 Crocodile, alligator. Fiction, non-fiction. Who can really tell the difference anymore? 1.6394 0.02805 696 361 225 110
99 He deals with the unvaccinated customers. 1.6386 0.02872 700 374 205 121
100 This is Gertrude; she handles all customer complaints. 1.6369 0.02892 705 382 197 126
101 We solved that problem of annoying, unattended children. 1.6364 0.02935 671 360 195 116
102 Mostly I feed him whatever's not selling, but he'll eat anything -- mysteries, romances, the classics. But I stopped feeding him books on modern politics. Those make him sick for weeks. 1.6353 0.02897 691 372 199 120
103 Actually, we discourage browsing. 1.6345 0.02684 725 370 250 105
104 Just let me know if anything grabs you. 1.6330 0.02979 624 329 195 100
105 We met through an endangered species support group. 1.6296 0.03058 602 322 181 99
106 Please let my colleague know if you have any complaints 1.6291 0.02906 647 341 205 101
107 Amazon takes from us, we take from the Amazon. 1.6289 0.03066 582 307 184 91
108 He's studying to be a litigator. 1.6276 0.02900 733 413 180 140
109 He just devours mysteries. 1.6274 0.02906 569 282 217 70
110 He remembers your belt. 1.6270 0.02966 681 378 179 124
111 Lyle here runs security. 1.6267 0.02880 643 336 211 96
112 Quite a departure from the usual bookstore cat isn't it. Still, security is better. 1.6242 0.02923 612 318 206 88
113 He's here to sign his new book, The Dark Side of Peter Pan." 1.6241 0.03120 556 294 177 85
114 I found it in the sewer between Erica Jong and Trump's memoirs 1.6241 0.03222 556 304 157 95
115 He’s an absolutely voracious reader 1.6227 0.02926 599 309 207 83
116 Well, we used to have a cat ... " 1.6221 0.03100 561 297 179 85
117 Yes, thats our complaint box 1.6213 0.03500 441 234 140 67
118 I don’t know what happened to the cat, but as long as the mice don’t come back, he can stay. 1.6174 0.03037 562 294 189 79
119 He loves Peter Pan 1.6174 0.03078 562 298 181 83
120 He’s in charge of returns. 1.6168 0.03104 561 310 160 91
121 You don't get this experience on Amazon! 1.6161 0.03269 560 316 143 101
122 You can see him too? 1.6161 0.03336 560 323 129 108
123 I no longer need the "leave your dog outside" sign on our door. 1.6145 0.03254 524 285 156 83
124 That’s the “grab ‘n’ go” section. 1.6126 0.03230 493 259 166 68
125 Sometimes he makes snap decisions 1.6117 0.03269 528 291 151 86
126 He’s a rescue. 1.6110 0.03320 509 280 147 82
127 he'd like to know where you got your shoes 1.6108 0.03233 591 342 137 112
128 you'd think he'd just be into The National Geographic, but he's actually a huge Jane Austen fan 1.6104 0.03176 557 307 160 90
129 Shoplifting has gone way down. 1.6102 0.03152 567 313 162 92
130 We didn't want to be just another book store with a cat. 1.6077 0.03249 520 292 143 85
131 I ordered Crocs from Amazon and this is what came in. 1.6066 0.03301 544 310 138 96
132 OK, but on the other hand, shoplifting is down 80%. 1.6056 0.03207 535 294 158 83
133 It’s about his life as a polo shirt logo… 1.6056 0.03488 502 291 118 93
134 Too many people were allergic to the cat. 1.6036 0.03315 497 273 148 76
135 The reading has been canceled - the author is nowhere to be found." 1.6036 0.03241 497 267 160 70
136 Welcome back Carl, I told you that once you got your sports coats tailored to a single sleeve nobody would notice the missing arm. 1.6027 0.03748 448 265 96 87
137 We're more Amazon than Amazon. 1.6025 0.03349 551 323 124 104
138 He hasn't bitten anyone wearing their mask. 1.6017 0.03080 585 325 168 92
139 You want the non-fiction aisle. This is the crocodaisle. 1.6017 0.03631 472 278 104 90
140 He handles refunds. 1.6008 0.03302 516 289 144 83
141 He's been digesting War and Peace for about a week, now. 1.5991 0.03616 439 249 117 73
142 Ironically, I ordered him on Amazon. 1.5970 0.03458 474 268 129 77
143 Cat? Yeah we had a cat. Used to sleep right there. 1.5968 0.03421 496 284 128 84
144 Don't worry, he just read Joyce. He'll be catatonic for days. 1.5966 0.03425 466 259 136 71
145 He wasn’t cheap, but shoplifting losses have plummeted since we got him. 1.5965 0.03542 451 255 123 73
146 A book on alligators? No, but we do have an alligator on books. 1.5954 0.03567 477 280 110 87
147 All our local authors are half off. 1.5947 0.03441 449 247 137 65
148 Beverly here would be happy to recommend some local authors who are easy to digest. 1.5940 0.03437 463 266 122 75
149 No, he's not stuffed. In fact, he hasn't even eaten. 1.5939 0.03343 522 301 132 89
150 He used to work at the shoe store across the street but it felt like a hostile work environment. 1.5938 0.03460 485 279 124 82
151 Choose wisely 1.5921 0.03316 456 245 152 59
152 No need for concern, he is still digesting 'War and Peace'. 1.5918 0.03534 485 286 111 88
153 Book theft has all but disappeared. 1.5915 0.03158 492 262 169 61
154 I wouldn't say he's a discriminating reader, but he's definitely voracious. 1.5894 0.03374 492 280 134 78
155 Yeah,well,not everyone could find a pandemic puppy. 1.5894 0.03550 397 214 132 51
156 Yes, you can return the book, but I wouldn't. 1.5893 0.03494 448 252 128 68
157 Shoplifting is down, too. 1.5891 0.03419 477 271 131 75
158 We’ve been swamped all week! 1.5886 0.03425 440 241 139 60
159 Go ahead. Try that “See ya later…” line. He likes that. 1.5882 0.03589 442 254 116 72
160 So in a way, the cat’s still here 1.5882 0.03487 442 247 130 65
161 It’s my support croc. 1.5877 0.03324 473 261 146 66
162 We used to have a problem with cats. 1.5876 0.03361 451 246 145 60
163 I can't decide whether to place him under Suspense or Nature. 1.5876 0.03742 434 258 97 79
164 He identifies as a cat 1.5875 0.03869 400 236 93 71
165 Don’t worry. He’s not nearly as dangerous as other unvaccinated Floridians 1.5872 0.03757 436 261 94 81
166 Aisle six if you want to know if it’s a crocodile or an alligator. 1.5862 0.03360 464 257 142 65
167 If you think you can beat him to the door, think again. 1.5853 0.03703 381 211 117 53
168 Well, the elephant in the room was just taking up too much space 1.5845 0.03646 438 256 108 74
169 Theft is down 100%. 1.5841 0.03438 428 234 138 56
170 We’re old-school Amazon. 1.5824 0.03620 455 270 105 80
171 We take shoplifting very seriously. 1.5824 0.03575 431 246 119 66
172 He handles our returns. 1.5819 0.03515 421 234 129 58
173 welcome to the only bookstore in Florida, how may we help you 1.5807 0.03846 384 223 99 62
174 Yeah he costs a lot to feed, but shoplifting is down to almost zero. 1.5806 0.03525 422 236 127 59
175 We think he’s harmless, but to be on the safe side, we avoid reading him “Peter Pan.” 1.5802 0.03383 424 234 136 54
176 Oh, we still have bookstore cats. New ones every week. 1.5800 0.03748 419 248 99 72
177 He helps when we’re swamped. 1.5796 0.03564 421 238 122 61
178 Why yes,we are an Amazon bookstore. 1.5795 0.03747 390 223 108 59
179 He’s looking for something he can sink his teeth into. 1.5793 0.03536 435 248 122 65
180 Haven’t had a book stolen in five years. 1.5791 0.03328 468 261 143 64
181 Are you able to describe the crocodile you claim to have left in my shop? 1.5788 0.03734 444 270 91 83
182 Just don't tell me you can get it cheaper online, and you'll be fine. 1.5784 0.03619 408 231 118 59
183 Says here you ordered The Jungle Book, live edition. 1.5779 0.03655 417 241 111 65
184 He helps out when we’re swamped. 1.5776 0.03488 438 248 127 63
185 I was actually looking for an Allegory. 1.5765 0.03803 392 229 100 63
186 You don't have to wear a mask, but we do enforce social distancing. 1.5760 0.03382 434 241 137 56
187 He’s sensitive about people mistaking him for a crocodile. 1.5752 0.03442 412 225 137 50
188 We named her ‘Eat Prey, Love.’ 1.5746 0.03940 402 247 79 76
189 I'm on my feet all day so I ordered a pair of Crocs. They only sent one. 1.5731 0.03673 417 244 107 66
190 Nope, that’s an alligator. Crocodiles are in aisle 4. 1.5722 0.03801 374 215 104 55
191 It’s the type of story that grabs you and won’t let go. 1.5718 0.03424 404 219 139 46
192 This is our urban legend section. 1.5714 0.03754 392 228 104 60
193 Sorry. We are all out of Penguin books. 1.5699 0.03891 379 225 92 62
194 Some people get consumed by a book - others by Charlie. 1.5697 0.03562 402 226 123 53
195 The cat’s on vacation. 1.5682 0.03863 352 201 102 49
196 I wouldn't worry too much...he prefers to hang out in the children's section. 1.5676 0.03390 407 221 141 45
197 After a while, Bibliophile. 1.5674 0.03885 393 238 87 68
198 He negotiates all returns. 1.5669 0.03822 381 224 98 59
199 He's in charge of our return desk. 1.5669 0.03750 381 220 106 55
200 When they said to be more like Amazon, I thought they meant the rainforest. 1.5663 0.03615 392 222 118 52
201 We endangered species stick together. 1.5657 0.03661 426 254 103 69
202 It's what happens when you drain the swamp. 1.5652 0.03794 368 212 104 52
203 This is Albert. He handles return requests. 1.5651 0.03811 361 207 104 50
204 Shoplifting has really dropped off 1.5650 0.03542 423 244 119 60
205 Come to think of it, maybe I did see your dog enter the store. 1.5634 0.04087 339 202 83 54
206 Of course sir, here is our complaints department 1.5632 0.03792 348 196 108 44
207 We used to have a shoplifting problem 1.5628 0.03752 366 209 108 49
208 We offer free shipping to the Amazon. 1.5627 0.03585 375 208 123 44
209 His name is Digest... Readers Digest 1.5625 0.04030 352 211 84 57
210 He's a gift from Amazon 1.5623 0.03773 345 193 110 42
211 Of course the alligator leather bound edition will cost you an arm and a leg 1.5616 0.03975 349 206 90 53
212 I don't think I'll be able to get your arm back. 1.5615 0.03672 374 227 90 57
213 I got into a debate on Amazon about ‘allegory’ in novels, and hit the wrong button. 1.5615 0.03918 358 211 93 54
214 The book worm retired 1.5613 0.03685 367 207 114 46
215 My associate will have that for you in a snap. 1.5610 0.03823 328 182 108 38
216 Don’t worry. He’s only hungry for knowledge. 1.5608 0.03738 378 219 106 53
217 Emotional support. The loss prevention is just a happy accident. 1.5605 0.03252 446 271 110 65
218 My associate here handles returns. 1.5601 0.03590 416 243 113 60
219 Somebody left her here. Just said “See ya later” and took off. 1.5597 0.03825 352 202 103 47
220 Well, the cat wasn’t adequately discouraging shoplifting. 1.5588 0.03731 374 216 107 51
221 Can you pet him? You can try, but probably only once. 1.5584 0.04113 308 178 88 42
222 I see that you are back to get your other arm removed. 1.5579 0.03888 380 230 88 62
223 Yeah, she's new, couldn't stand Florida anymore. 1.5573 0.03800 375 221 99 55
224 He recognizes your belt 1.5570 0.03895 377 228 88 61
225 He’s digesting the latest New Yorker 1.5565 0.03862 372 222 93 57
226 First time in Florida? 1.5562 0.04016 356 216 82 58
227 Unfortunately, the author won’t be available to autograph his book for you. 1.5556 0.04020 342 204 86 52
228 Yeah, well, it's not like Mittens never bit anybody. 1.5548 0.04094 310 180 88 42
229 The book store cat is such a cliche 1.5546 0.03765 357 205 106 46
230 He's here to sniff out those who read here but buy on Amazon. 1.5543 0.03969 350 209 88 53
231 Yeah, but your hiccups are gone, aren’t they? 1.5542 0.03840 332 188 104 40
232 I thought losing one arm would have taught you a lesson. 1.5540 0.03954 361 218 86 57
233 Sure, you can speak with someone in the complaints department. 1.5540 0.03713 361 206 110 45
234 No, you’re fine. He’s vaccinated. 1.5539 0.03827 399 245 87 67
235 It wasn't my first choice, but pitbulls are illegal. 1.5538 0.03710 372 215 108 49
236 We've been swamped lately. 1.5531 0.03788 367 215 101 51
237 When I said I'd give my right arm for that scarce volume, I really didn't mean it literally! 1.5531 0.03822 320 178 107 35
238 Yes, we have that in hardcover, paperback…and leather-bound 1.5524 0.03798 353 204 103 46
239 Only fair to warn you. They’re notoriously hard to read. 1.5515 0.04215 301 178 80 43
240 The bookstore cat is such a cliché, don't you think? 1.5511 0.04136 323 194 80 49
241 Welcome to Florida's only bookstore. 1.5510 0.03977 363 222 82 59
242 Looking for something that grabs you? 1.5508 0.03657 374 215 112 47
243 He's from the Amazon. Ironic, right? 1.5503 0.04257 318 195 71 52
244 I think he remembers you from the time you were in here and lost your right arm. 1.5501 0.03907 369 224 87 58
245 Alonzo would be happy to help you check if Amazon has a better price. 1.5501 0.03714 369 214 107 48
246 That's the unvaccinated section. 1.5498 0.03921 331 192 96 43
247 First editions cost an arm and a leg 1.5497 0.03769 362 211 103 48
248 The customer is not always right here. 1.5497 0.03907 302 168 102 32
249 He’s a rescue from Florida. 1.5487 0.03752 359 208 105 46
250 Better than a guard dog. No one pets him. 1.5484 0.03857 341 198 99 44
251 Never mind where the cat is. 1.5478 0.04058 345 211 79 55
252 He's also "just looking" 1.5476 0.04240 294 174 79 41
253 He helps with our "No Return" policy. 1.5475 0.03923 358 216 88 54
254 He's head of the Complaint Department. 1.5474 0.03862 327 187 101 39
255 Don't worry, he's a licensed therapy animal. 1.5473 0.03918 349 208 91 50
256 We feel secure, but sales have definitely plummeted. 1.5470 0.04117 287 164 89 34
257 Yeah, the ones at the end of the counter are likely to cost you an arm and a leg. 1.5470 0.03859 351 207 96 48
258 He handles customer complaints. 1.5462 0.03837 346 202 99 45
259 Of course he bites. 1.5462 0.03879 368 223 89 56
260 We hired him as a greeter but all he says is ‘SEE YOU LATER’ 1.5461 0.04211 304 182 78 44
261 Back of aisle 6, and I suggest you walk in a zigzag pattern. 1.5458 0.04091 295 170 89 36
262 Yes, she enjoys a good reader now and then. 1.5455 0.04203 330 205 70 55
263 Looking for something that will grab you and not let you go? 1.5446 0.04144 303 179 83 41
264 We got a loaner while the security system is replaced 1.5443 0.04006 327 194 88 45
265 You're familiar with Reader's Digest? Lyle here digests readers. 1.5442 0.04338 283 169 74 40
266 We have noticed a dramatic reduction in shoplifting 1.5437 0.04025 320 189 88 43
267 I keep saying, "see you later ...," but so far he hasn't budged. 1.5430 0.04384 291 178 68 45
268 An alligator that reads is nowhere near the weirdest thing you will see in Florida. 1.5427 0.04467 293 183 61 49
269 We keep him around just in case Bezos comes in 1.5423 0.04226 319 197 71 51
270 You tell him he's not welcome here. 1.5422 0.04196 308 186 77 45
271 Vaccinated? 1.5422 0.04249 332 210 64 58
272 It's bound in leather and grips you right away. 1.5418 0.03830 347 204 98 45
273 I can fill your book order today but it will cost you an arm and a leg. 1.5414 0.04084 314 187 84 43
274 It’s for the people who come in and read for three hours but don’t buy anything. 1.5414 0.04159 314 190 78 46
275 Will you be paying in cash, or chicken? 1.5414 0.04183 314 191 76 47
276 We've been having trouble enforcing our no pets policy 1.5413 0.03984 327 194 89 44
277 He’s our most voracious reader. 1.5413 0.04007 327 195 87 45
278 Voracious? Yes, but not a reader. 1.5409 0.04215 281 164 82 35
279 He's been here ever since he heard we were swamped. 1.5407 0.04376 270 160 74 36
280 This new edition is more than just a nail biter. 1.5405 0.04110 296 173 86 37
281 The cat only wants to work from home now. 1.5404 0.04160 272 155 87 30
282 He misread our “Meet the Author” flyer 1.5396 0.04091 328 200 79 49
283 We haven’t had a shoplifter in 27 years. 1.5394 0.04003 330 198 86 46
284 Are you here for his book signing, or his 2 o'clock feeding? 1.5385 0.04166 325 201 73 51
285 he ensures 6 ft of social distance 1.5385 0.04215 299 180 77 42
286 I needed to do something about people who browse and then buy on Amazon. 1.5380 0.04090 316 190 82 44
287 Just don't say the word A-m-a-z-o-n in here, and you'll be fine. 1.5380 0.04039 303 177 89 37
288 Kids get excited when they see him in the children’s section. And he’s so excited to see them. 1.5366 0.03929 328 199 84 45
289 Hey man, sorry about that arm... 1.5364 0.04059 343 213 76 54
290 She likes books she can sink her teeth into. 1.5364 0.04091 302 181 81 40
291 Don't worry, he prefers to sink his teeth into a good novel. 1.5361 0.04110 319 194 79 46
292 It's ok, he's vaccinated 1.5357 0.04248 308 190 71 47
293 I know, I know… it’s like something out of a New Yorker cartoon. 1.5356 0.04540 267 164 63 40
294 I had to get him out of Florida. 1.5355 0.04076 310 185 84 41
295 He’s here to sign copies of Peter Pan.” 1.5350 0.03981 286 172 79 35
296 I ask my assistant to get a new security system from Amazon, but he thought I said get a new security system from the Amazon. 1.5345 0.04204 290 173 79 38
297 She's part of this month's "Snappy Answers to Stupid Questions" promotion. 1.5338 0.04331 266 157 76 33
298 If you’ve worked in retail you wouldn’t be asking me why I have an emotional support animal. 1.5335 0.03975 343 210 83 50
299 A bull in a china shop would have been too much of a cliche. 1.5333 0.04044 300 176 88 36
300 Yes, our return policies have become much stricter. 1.5331 0.04008 317 189 87 41
301 He’ll snap if you ask for Proust. 1.5322 0.03763 342 200 102 40
302 This is my guest author-of-the-week, Al Gator, who has spent the last four years, documenting life in Trump's swamp! 1.5316 0.03880 301 184 79 38
303 What do you THINK happened to the cat? 1.5315 0.04415 254 150 73 31
304 Sorry, we've been swamped." 1.5312 0.03851 337 200 95 42
305 He handles all the returns. 1.5307 0.03943 309 188 81 40
306 This is Noam Chompsky. I'm training him to identify Amazon Prime members. 1.5306 0.04299 294 181 70 43
307 . . . haven't seen a shoplifter in years, why do you ask? 1.5296 0.04296 287 175 72 40
308 Yep, she has experience at Amazon. 1.5296 0.04190 304 186 75 43
309 ''Of course he remembers you - he's still digesting your right arm". 1.5294 0.04072 323 198 79 46
310 Amazon has taken a huge bite out of our sales. If Bezos ever drops in, it's payback time. 1.5294 0.04357 289 179 67 43
311 Shoplifting is down by 97%. 1.5286 0.04320 280 170 72 38
312 He's voracious, yes, but not so much about reading. 1.5278 0.03845 324 190 97 37
313 Sure, the cat was cute, but it wasn't deterring shoplifters. 1.5276 0.04234 290 176 75 39
314 I think it’s because the books are still warm from the printer 1.5273 0.03966 275 155 95 25
315 I handle sales. He handles shoplifters. 1.5271 0.03919 332 200 89 43
316 He's our loss prevention officer. 1.5261 0.04182 287 172 79 36
317 I don't know how he does it but people now seem to want to buy books rather sit in the store reading them. 1.5259 0.04121 270 156 86 28
318 Make your Amazon joke and move on 1.5256 0.04174 293 177 78 38
319 Ah, here it is. On May 24, 2014 you told him you would see him later. 1.5253 0.04372 297 188 62 47
320 Not only hardback, but waterproof. 1.5249 0.04008 301 178 88 35
321 That’s the wildlife section. 1.5248 0.04310 242 139 79 24
322 Don't worry - he just swallowed the complete OED. He'll be digesting for a while. 1.5234 0.04321 256 151 76 29
323 Well, an elephant in a china shop is copyright protected, you see 1.5234 0.04528 256 157 64 35
324 We’ve cut down drastically on shoplifting. 1.5228 0.04403 241 141 74 26
325 These cost an arm and a leg 1.5223 0.04139 291 175 80 36
326 Your order 'Living With Crocodiles' has arrived with a free gift. 1.5220 0.04263 295 183 70 42
327 The sign no shoplifting just didn’t do it. 1.5220 0.04208 295 181 74 40
328 It's part of our social distancing strategy 1.5216 0.04375 278 172 67 39
329 The elephant in the room is up the spiral staircase… 1.5212 0.04489 259 159 65 35
330 He came from Washington after they drained the swamp. 1.5208 0.04222 313 198 67 48
331 Actually, he's quite a voracious reader too. 1.5208 0.04178 265 155 82 28
332 My old security system had too many bells and whistles. 1.5206 0.04322 267 161 73 33
333 He started out in nature, but then got a taste for mystery writers. 1.5205 0.04072 292 174 84 34
334 I'm confused... did you reserve a book on alligators or an alligator on books? 1.5197 0.04007 304 182 86 36
335 He came in looking for a self-help book called "Gator-Ade." 1.5197 0.04487 254 155 66 33
336 Do you like our new security system? It is organic, sustainable and low-energy use. And very effective. 1.5193 0.04675 233 142 61 30
337 It depends. Are you going to ask him to see you later or after while? 1.5185 0.04891 243 157 46 40
338 I asked for an intern that liked people 1.5183 0.04172 301 186 74 41
339 We thought a bookstore cat was too cliche. 1.5181 0.04216 276 166 77 33
340 Damn abbreviations. We posted a job for “lit rep” and got a literary reptile. 1.5159 0.04619 252 158 58 36
341 This one will also grip you immediately and not let go. 1.5153 0.04483 262 163 63 36
342 It’s his first Book signing tour, and he has found he enjoys a good critic now and then. 1.5153 0.04483 262 163 63 36
343 Please avoid, ‘See you later…’ and ‘In a while…’ He’ll snap. 1.5148 0.04953 237 154 44 39
344 Don't worry. We're vaccinated. 1.5147 0.04419 272 170 64 38
345 I’m sorry, sir, but we don’t have any books on alligators. We do, however, have an alligator on books. 1.5141 0.04556 249 154 62 33
346 I told my wife I wanted crocs for my birthday. 1.5133 0.04129 300 185 76 39
347 I’m here for the book signing of “Life’s a Croc.” 1.5127 0.04553 236 143 65 28
348 Why, yes, we did used to have a bookstore cat. 1.5124 0.04317 283 177 67 39
349 This is our finest leather bound edition. 1.5123 0.04517 244 149 65 30
350 This is our grab and go section. 1.5123 0.04236 285 176 72 37
351 Sorry, Randy doesn’t work here anymore 1.5122 0.04242 287 178 71 38
352 Actually, the only book he has ever recommended is Peter Pan 1.5115 0.04335 305 198 58 49
353 A kid peed in the town pool, so he’s waiting it out here. 1.5111 0.04319 270 166 70 34
354 He had his video camera off during the job interview. 1.5106 0.04305 284 178 67 39
355 He's looking at your watch band. 1.5103 0.04474 243 150 63 30
356 He was the only living thing that responded to our job posting 1.5102 0.04685 245 155 55 35
357 Whatever you do, don't say 'see ya later' when you leave! 1.5101 0.04253 296 187 67 42
358 That’s REALLY your first question?!? “Is it an alligator or crocodile?” 1.5101 0.04117 296 182 77 37
359 Yes, we have that title, but it'll cost you an arm and a leg. 1.5100 0.04386 251 152 70 29
360 He just devours books. 1.5099 0.04396 253 154 69 30
361 Fifty bucks says you can’t get that signed first edition out from under his front right leg.” 1.5096 0.04867 208 127 56 25
362 Whatever you do don’t say, “see you later…” 1.5094 0.04607 267 173 52 42
363 Don't worry, he only bites people who say Ayn Rand is their favorite author. 1.5092 0.04346 273 170 67 36
364 He applied for the security position and we don’t discriminate. 1.5088 0.04093 283 173 77 33
365 We’re looking to be more like Amazon. 1.5084 0.04679 238 149 57 32
366 Questionable manuscripts go directly into my new shredder” 1.5083 0.04497 240 146 66 28
367 The cat was useless against ill-bred toddlers. 1.5083 0.04797 240 154 50 36
368 Sir. You need to wear a mask to enter the store 1.5082 0.04517 244 150 64 30
369 Remember that six inch long birthday present you gave me back in 1952? 1.5081 0.04490 246 151 65 30
370 Yes, we did used to have a cat. 1.5080 0.04326 250 150 73 27
371 Sales are down, but then again, so are thefts. 1.5078 0.04358 256 156 70 30
372 On the other hand, it's done wonders for our theft problem. 1.5073 0.04272 274 169 71 34
373 Your so called state of the art security system is a crock 1.5064 0.04406 235 140 71 24
374 I didn't realize bookstores sold Crocs.' 1.5060 0.04557 249 156 60 33
375 He used to be a lawyer. 1.5059 0.04510 255 160 61 34
376 Someone just snapped up the last copy. 1.5057 0.03807 348 216 88 44
377 Yea, he's a rescue. 1.5055 0.04156 273 165 78 30
378 You're in luck... We are offering free shredding today. 1.5054 0.04143 277 168 78 31
379 Desmond’s job is to remind customers that if you start reading it, you’re buying it. 1.5053 0.04192 281 173 74 34
380 His bark is worse than his bite, but then again, he doesn’t bark. 1.5050 0.04925 202 124 54 24
381 He's a replacement for the elephant that used to be in the room. 1.5050 0.04875 202 123 56 23
382 He loves most people. 1.5040 0.04289 250 150 74 26
383 Yes, bookstores in Florida are a bit different. 1.5040 0.04374 252 154 69 29
384 No. I haven't seen your poodle. 1.5038 0.04590 266 173 52 41
385 Certainly cuts down on returns. 1.5037 0.04264 272 168 71 33
386 The cats all want to work from home. 1.5025 0.05092 201 127 47 27
387 Although masks are not required, I would still advice keeping six feet apart 1.5022 0.04708 223 138 58 27
388 He doesn't bark but he does bite. 1.5022 0.04376 231 137 72 22
389 We also have him in softback. 1.5020 0.04225 249 148 77 24
390 He may be cold-blooded, but he does have a soft spot for French Romantic Poetry. 1.5000 0.05089 196 123 48 25
391 He came to us after a distinguished career in polo shirts. 1.5000 0.04276 248 149 74 25
392 He's on the best seller list with his new title "How I ate Donald Trump at Mar-a-Lago". 1.5000 0.04748 236 151 52 33
393 He has a voracious appetite for local authors. 1.5000 0.04672 214 130 61 23
394 We were thinking about a cat, but so many people are allergic. We didn't want to drive them away. 1.5000 0.04502 234 143 65 26
395 So Penguin has finally been replaced? 1.5000 0.04263 238 153 56 29
396 As long as you don't walk like a chicken, you should be safe to browse. 1.5000 0.04111 280 171 78 31
397 Try as hard as you want Bob, but he hasn’t lost a staring contest in 400 million years. 1.5000 0.04177 274 168 75 31
398 Shoplifting has declined dramatically 1.4981 0.04356 267 168 65 34
399 No Moleskin, but we have another option. 1.4979 0.04205 241 142 78 21
400 You're right, we did also used to have a cat. 1.4978 0.04627 231 144 59 28
401 He will either see you later, or after while. 1.4978 0.04604 227 140 61 26
402 Slowly back out of the store. Repeat after me. See. You. Later. Alligator. 1.4959 0.04563 246 156 58 32
403 Sewer’s backed up again 1.4958 0.04419 240 147 67 26
404 I got a cat to catch a mouse, a dog to chase the cat … you get the picture. 1.4953 0.04672 214 131 60 23
405 He's here to remind customers that we're tired of hearing, "I can get it cheaper on Amazon." 1.4952 0.04926 210 133 50 27
406 Don't worry, fully vaccinated." 1.4951 0.04902 206 129 52 25
407 When it's necessary, he gives me a hand. 1.4949 0.04879 196 120 55 21
408 Believe it or not, he's our most voracious reader. 1.4947 0.04027 285 174 81 30
409 Our Security costs are way down. 1.4942 0.04310 257 159 69 29
410 That's the Politics section. He wrote the book on draining the swamp. 1.4938 0.04475 243 154 59 30
411 New addition to the leather bound section. 1.4937 0.04432 239 147 66 26
412 We've seen zero shoplifting. 1.4937 0.04694 237 152 53 32
413 I read a link that said Alligators sense vaccination status so I bought one. So far only one person didn’t mask up. 1.4937 0.04500 237 147 63 27
414 I think he's wondering what your belt is made of. 1.4935 0.04627 231 145 58 28
415 You may want to change your shoes. 1.4930 0.04609 215 131 62 22
416 Sorry about that. Shall we try again with your left? 1.4930 0.04839 215 136 52 27
417 All of the books the alligator is lying on are half-price. 1.4928 0.04980 207 132 48 27
418 He prefers biting social satire. 1.4923 0.04898 195 120 54 21
419 He’s here every week. He’s a voracious reader. 1.4920 0.04251 250 152 73 25
420 I told them that I wanted a “Gatorade, not a “gator aide”. 1.4919 0.05205 185 117 45 23
421 Sorry. We don't have any books on alligators, but we do have alligators on books." 1.4915 0.04553 236 148 60 28
422 Well, yeah, I lost a couple of customers, but shoplifting is way down. 1.4915 0.04378 234 142 69 23
423 I still prefer the way a hardcover feels in my remaining hand 1.4912 0.04754 228 146 52 30
424 It's Stephen King's answer to The Very Hungry Caterpillar, sir. It's a pop-up. 1.4907 0.04777 216 136 54 26
425 He's from the good Amazon. 1.4900 0.04449 249 157 62 30
426 A little mixup. I ordered something from Amazon not from THE Amazon. 1.4895 0.04732 237 154 50 33
427 Careful, he is not a big fan of your alligator shoes. 1.4895 0.04296 237 143 72 22
428 He's part of the group opposed to leather bound volumes". 1.4895 0.04617 237 151 56 30
429 They were all out of cats at the shelter. 1.4889 0.04526 225 146 51 28
430 We'd like people to think of us as the other Amazon. 1.4887 0.04783 221 141 52 28
431 We used to have a bookstore cat,but she disappeared. 1.4886 0.04360 264 168 63 33
432 His wit is biting, and his prose, toothsome. 1.4886 0.04501 219 133 65 21
433 - we’ll need to see your vax card please. 1.4884 0.04748 215 135 55 25
434 Sorry, today’s author talk is canceled. 1.4878 0.04871 205 129 52 24
435 He's no problem. It's the book business which'll eat you alive. 1.4876 0.04790 201 124 56 21
436 Need I ask where’s Kestrel, the store cat? 1.4873 0.04513 236 148 61 27
437 Excellent, Sir! Most don't know the difference between a crocodile and an alligator, including cartoonists. 1.4870 0.04682 230 147 54 29
438 Haven’t read any books on zoology, so I don’t know if I should say, “see you later…” or “in a while…”? 1.4870 0.04842 230 151 46 33
439 He’s the protagonist in a new mystery series. Greg the Investi-Gator. 1.4865 0.05091 185 116 48 21
440 What can I say? Carl Hiassen has a reading here tonight, and this guy’s been in line since yesterday. 1.4865 0.03625 222 146 55 21
441 He says your belt is his mother. 1.4862 0.04788 218 139 52 27
442 It's my aggression support animal. 1.4862 0.04536 253 164 55 34
443 I keep him around so customers stop describing themselves as "voracious." 1.4861 0.04227 216 143 48 25
444 I highly suggest you buy something 1.4860 0.04907 179 108 55 16
445 The Barnes & Noble rep is coming at 3 to propose a buyout. 1.4858 0.04703 212 132 57 23
446 He’s a reminder of the Amazon’s threat to small book stores. 1.4858 0.04119 282 177 73 32
447 Don’t worry, he’s just my service animal. 1.4857 0.04202 280 178 68 34
448 I was sure the ad read 'voracious reader'. 1.4854 0.04625 239 154 54 31
449 We haven't had any shoplifting since he started here 1.4842 0.04540 221 139 58 24
450 He is from the Temp agency. The elephant in the room is on vacation. 1.4839 0.04715 217 137 55 25
451 He has an appetite for readers. 1.4839 0.04498 248 159 58 31
452 You can buy from me, or I've got an Amazon representative who can help you. 1.4837 0.04562 246 159 55 32
453 I tried leaving him at home but he started chewing on the furniture. 1.4837 0.04655 215 134 58 23
454 He devours the classics. 1.4836 0.04734 213 134 55 24
455 Yeah, we had the usual cat too, but she just disappeared one day. 1.4831 0.04592 236 151 56 29
456 It doesn't realize that your book about draining the swamp is a political metaphor. 1.4829 0.04739 234 153 49 32
457 Of course,if you enjoy biting prose… 1.4824 0.04876 199 125 52 22
458 You should be fine. He just ate. 1.4822 0.05017 197 126 47 24
459 I’m still getting used to living in Florida 1.4820 0.04547 222 138 61 23
460 New releases cost an arm and a leg. 1.4817 0.05081 191 122 46 23
461 He identifies as a service dog. 1.4817 0.04698 218 138 55 25
462 You may want to stand back. Wouldn't want you to lose your other arm." 1.4817 0.04515 218 139 55 24
463 But shoplifting is down 87%! 1.4811 0.04797 212 135 52 25
464 The rarer editions can cost an arm and a leg. 1.4809 0.04282 262 166 66 30
465 I foolishly asked what's more endangered than neighborhood book stores and somebody dropped him off I suppose to make a point. 1.4804 0.05216 179 114 44 21
466 Well, I can see you ordered “Out of Africa” but there appears to have been some sort of mixup. 1.4804 0.04906 179 109 54 16
467 I’m afraid the book signing has been delayed. 1.4803 0.03991 229 147 60 22
468 Oh, you have feedback? Feel free to use our suggestion box here. 1.4793 0.04892 217 142 46 29
469 Oh that's our new return section. 1.4790 0.04562 238 153 56 29
470 I was thinking something I could sink my teeth into, not the opposite. 1.4789 0.04686 213 134 56 23
471 Well yes, it is a leather-bound edition. 1.4778 0.04855 203 129 51 23
472 A rare binding indeed. For a limited time, he contains a first edition of Peter Pan. 1.4774 0.04823 199 125 53 21
473 Returns are to my immediate right. 1.4772 0.05016 197 127 46 24
474 Well, no one is shoplifting anymore. 1.4770 0.04662 239 157 50 32
475 Books in here cost an arm and a leg. 1.4762 0.04330 231 142 68 21
476 We tried a snake but it scared the customers. 1.4762 0.04637 210 131 58 21
477 Allie is responsible for customer complaints. 1.4760 0.03537 208 130 65 13
478 Don't worry about it. She's just browsing. 1.4751 0.04376 221 135 67 19
479 We find it deters shoplifting considerably more effectively than the cat did. 1.4750 0.05158 200 133 39 28
480 You ordered the best seller ‘Aggressive Litigation Tactics’. Would you like it autographed? 1.4749 0.04545 219 137 60 22
481 A lot of people are allergic to cats. 1.4744 0.04836 215 140 48 27
482 He devours books. 1.4742 0.04858 194 122 52 20
483 I guess I don't need to tell you, but don't pet the alligator. 1.4732 0.04868 205 132 49 24
484 Look, pal, she may have been your pet alligator but now she's my wife and the lady wants you to leave. 1.4731 0.05622 167 111 33 23
485 Swipe or Insert? 1.4730 0.04589 222 141 57 24
486 He just devours the best sellers. 1.4727 0.05339 165 105 42 18
487 We don't all get to be Jane Goodall. 1.4725 0.04321 218 132 69 17
488 We have a somewhat involved return policy. 1.4724 0.05244 163 102 45 16
489 Sure you can pet him, but please pay for your purchases first. 1.4720 0.04668 214 136 55 23
490 Don't worry. He's fully vaccinated. 1.4717 0.04748 212 136 52 24
491 We finally found a business model Amazon won't replicate. 1.4714 0.04781 210 135 51 24
492 The book signing is over. He ate the author 1.4711 0.04544 225 143 58 24
493 It really cuts down shoplifting. 1.4709 0.04801 206 132 51 23
494 See ya later, alligator.” “After a while, bibliophile. 1.4693 0.05332 179 118 38 23
495 Yes, we do have something on the Florida wetlands. 1.4692 0.04857 211 138 47 26
496 This isn’t Barnes & Noble. If you’ve browsed it, you’ve bought it. 1.4689 0.05070 177 112 47 18
497 Sir, do you have your vaccination card on you? 1.4683 0.05106 205 138 38 29
498 He's remarkably good at keeping youngsters out of our adult book section. 1.4680 0.04647 203 127 57 19
499 I forgot to mention--he loves to sink his teeth into a good book. 1.4646 0.05044 198 131 42 25
500 Returns to the left 1.4646 0.04730 198 125 54 19
501 He's just browsing. 1.4639 0.04453 194 117 64 13
502 It's just like Florida, except with books. 1.4639 0.04799 194 128 44 22
503 Are you here for the reading, or the feeding? 1.4637 0.05150 179 116 43 20
504 We can’t compete with Amazon but we can reproduce the ambiance. 1.4637 0.05504 179 122 31 26
505 “We used to have a cat for mice, but got him for browsing customers who order from Amazon.” 1.4633 0.04783 218 144 47 27
506 Bookstore cats are cliché. 1.4629 0.04980 175 110 49 16
507 Like many new Florida residents, Henry initially found the culture shock to be a bit disorienting… 1.4628 0.04967 188 121 47 20
508 I know, but what am I to do? He‘s the the boss‘s son. 1.4627 0.04835 201 130 49 22
509 Ever since he was young, he has devoured books. 1.4626 0.04723 227 151 47 29
510 Organic paper shredder. Also works on mice, insects and shoplifters. 1.4625 0.05385 160 103 40 17
511 Shoplifting’s way down, although we haven’t seen our cat in weeks. 1.4623 0.04649 212 136 54 22
512 As long as you buy something, you’re ok. 1.4622 0.05942 119 74 35 10
513 First, the good news. The book you ordered is here. 1.4620 0.05046 184 119 45 20
514 After he got ahold of Peter Pan, he just devours books. 1.4619 0.04959 197 129 45 23
515 'Everyone says that, but they never come back.' 1.4615 0.04907 208 138 44 26
516 I handle the Sales. He handles the Returns. 1.4612 0.04677 219 143 51 25
517 If I were you I’d leave while you still have your other arm… 1.4612 0.04748 206 133 51 22
518 . Yes, the cat is gone… 1.4612 0.05313 206 145 27 34
519 The nature section is on my right. I don’t recommend it. 1.4611 0.04703 193 121 55 17
520 Sure, we have that title. But you're not going to like where it's shelved. 1.4611 0.04880 180 113 51 16
521 That’s just our Amazon returns pile 1.4605 0.05592 152 99 36 17
522 Shoplifting is way down. Then again,so is business. 1.4603 0.05059 189 124 43 22
523 Florida has bookstores? 1.4600 0.05803 150 100 31 19
524 Haven't had a shoplifter in months. 1.4598 0.05065 174 111 46 17
525 I think you mean, 'What is that CROCODILE doing here?' 1.4592 0.04977 196 129 44 23
526 Do you like Lacoste? Answer carefully. 1.4590 0.05065 183 119 44 20
527 No worries. He just devours good literature. 1.4590 0.04759 183 114 54 15
528 You’re not carrying a chicken, are you? 1.4588 0.04853 194 125 49 20
529 I'm not sure if I will see you later, or in a while. 1.4583 0.05330 168 110 39 19
530 The review says it packs quite a bite and has a twist ending 1.4581 0.05024 179 115 46 18
531 It won't cost you an arm or a leg 1.4573 0.04868 199 130 47 22
532 Of course alligator binding costs an arm and a leg. 1.4570 0.05286 186 126 35 25
533 Yes, we used to have a cat. 1.4568 0.05614 162 109 32 21
534 He can’t get enough Updike. 1.4568 0.05038 162 101 48 13
535 Service croc, do not pet. 1.4566 0.05405 173 116 35 22
536 Shoplifting losses are down 67% since we got him. 1.4565 0.04509 230 150 55 25
537 Meet the new head of store security. 1.4561 0.05260 171 112 40 19
538 He takes care of all returns. 1.4561 0.04302 239 153 63 23
539 He really is quite docile... Except when dealing with Shoplifters and the 'just Browsing' 1.4559 0.04978 204 137 41 26
540 He ate the cat, so we kept him. 1.4558 0.04693 215 141 50 24
541 Oh, so you can have an elephant a room, and a bull in China shop; but an alligator in a bookstore is too far?! Obviously you’re not as open minded as I thought you were, Gary. 1.4551 0.05632 156 104 33 19
542 Yes, on Saturdays, we can get pretty swamped. 1.4551 0.05216 167 108 42 17
543 He absolutely devoured "Remembrance of Things Past" 1.4550 0.05001 189 124 44 21
544 Don't worry he only gets snappish with book reviewers. 1.4545 0.04832 198 129 48 21
545 A bit of a hindrance to browsing, I'm afraid, but thefts are way down. 1.4545 0.04725 198 127 52 19
546 He says he's a caiman, and I wouldn't argue with him. He's resting on the encyclopedias. 1.4541 0.04480 229 149 56 24
547 Relax. He only devours fiction. 1.4541 0.05080 185 122 42 21
548 Welcome to Amazon 1.4540 0.05308 163 106 40 17
549 On the order someone misspelled algorithm 1.4536 0.04850 194 126 48 20
550 Thanks for asking. We do have book covers with alligator leather. It's going to cost you an arm and a leg though. 1.4536 0.05066 194 130 40 24
551 Have you heard about the zoo's new work release program? 1.4536 0.05237 183 123 37 23
552 Sir, If this Caiman escaped Amazon so can you. Sign up here for our loyalty card. 1.4535 0.05364 172 115 36 21
553 He’s my Emotional Support Animal … Go Gators! 1.4531 0.04658 192 121 55 16
554 He's digesting this week's #1 bestseller. 1.4530 0.04793 181 114 52 15
555 Shop lifting has stopped and customers won't bring their little pet dogs. After yesterday. 1.4530 0.05281 181 122 36 23
556 I assure you, he's fully vaccinated 1.4530 0.04920 181 116 48 17
557 We also had a shop cat but we haven’t seen her in a long time. 1.4529 0.05346 170 113 37 20
558 You know how others have emotional support dogs? Well, I have him 1.4526 0.04572 190 118 58 14
559 You're not allowed to ask me if it's a therapy animal. 1.4520 0.04999 177 114 46 17
560 Your dog? No, I haven’t seen your dog. 1.4516 0.04824 186 119 50 17
561 No, he's not from Amazon. 1.4516 0.05001 186 122 44 20
562 He's in charge of the mask mandate! 1.4515 0.04326 206 137 49 20
563 It's a biting social satire. 1.4513 0.04831 195 127 48 20
564 Are you the gentleman who ordered something with more bite? 1.4512 0.05423 164 109 36 19
565 We're both endangered. How are you? 1.4511 0.05099 184 122 41 21
566 My assistant will handle any returns. 1.4509 0.04462 224 145 57 22
567 Look no further for signed first editions of Eat Prey Love. 1.4506 0.05542 162 109 33 20
568 He's a picky eater, but a voracious reader. 1.4503 0.05322 171 114 37 20
569 Customers had cat allergies, so I made a change. 1.4497 0.04959 169 107 48 14
570 Something with a snappy title 1.4494 0.04613 178 112 53 13
571 We're both relics of a bygone era 1.4494 0.05278 158 102 41 15
572 "He feels proprietary about our National Geographics section." 1.4489 0.05017 176 114 45 17
573 After he ate the cat he just sort of hung around. Scares the crap out of the mice. 1.4487 0.05326 156 101 40 15
574 Because a bookstore cat is so passe . . . 1.4486 0.04841 185 119 49 17
575 Everyone is pushing e-readers, but I prefer leather-bound books. 1.4485 0.04736 194 125 51 18
576 He's only a problem when he sees an e-reader. 1.4478 0.04930 201 135 42 24
577 The crocodile's in but the alligator's on backorder. 1.4478 0.04828 201 133 46 22
578 Social distance please. 1.4477 0.05034 172 111 45 16
579 He ate my cat and decided to stay. 1.4477 0.05167 172 113 41 18
580 It's one of those allegories from the banks of the Nile. 1.4474 0.04749 190 122 51 17
581 This is my Gator Aid 1.4472 0.04977 161 106 40 15
582 Yes, he is genuine leather-bound. 1.4471 0.05408 170 115 34 21
583 My business partner really misinterpreted "you should come to work with Crocs on Friday." 1.4467 0.05639 150 100 33 17
584 Welcome to Kestrel's Bookstore. We have fiction, non-fiction, and gators for some fucking reason. 1.4465 0.05438 159 108 32 19
585 The Story of Lacoste Brand 1.4464 0.05256 168 111 39 18
586 Of course he wrote under a pseudonym for decades. 1.4462 0.04661 195 125 53 17
587 He finds the leather bound volumes deeply satisfying 1.4458 0.04946 166 105 48 13
588 Carl is my emotional support animal. 1.4458 0.05092 166 107 44 15
589 Don't pay any attention. He'll come to you when he feels comfortable. 1.4453 0.05572 137 88 37 12
590 Let me explain our return policy... 1.4451 0.05208 164 107 41 16
591 No, you don't HAVE to buy anything . . . 1.4451 0.04896 182 118 47 17
592 He heard we were swamped. 1.4444 0.04737 171 114 41 16
593 Alligator or crocodile? You have to read it to find out 1.4438 0.04909 178 115 47 16
594 Feel free to pop your feedback in our new suggestion box 1.4438 0.05223 178 120 37 21
595 We were swamped last week and decided to keep him. 1.4437 0.05688 151 102 31 18
596 Interesting observation,yes we did have a cat last time you were here,sir 1.4420 0.05728 138 91 33 14
597 Customers exiting are not sure whether to say, "See You Later" or "See You in a while". 1.4415 0.04956 188 125 43 20
598 He’s not feeling well, I couldn’t just leave him at home now could I? 1.4412 0.05404 170 116 33 21
599 Outside of an alligator, a book is man's best friend. Inside of an alligator, you're in real trouble. 1.4412 0.06154 136 94 24 18
600 Don’t mind him, he’s just waiting for us to get another cat. 1.4407 0.04927 177 115 46 16
601 Oh him? - we call him Jeff Bezos 1.4405 0.05387 168 114 34 20
602 Put on your mask if you know what's good for you.. 1.4403 0.05471 159 107 34 18
603 He's ingested all the classics. 1.4396 0.04830 182 118 48 16
604 If the leather bound edition isn’t your thing, I can order the paperback. 1.4394 0.04981 198 135 39 24
605 He says he’ll leave later, in a while. 1.4393 0.05269 173 117 36 20
606 You wouldn't think it to look at him, but he's a voracious reader. 1.4392 0.04581 189 120 55 14
607 We were swamped earlier. 1.4390 0.05058 164 106 44 14
608 She's actually friendlier than the cat was. 1.4378 0.04773 185 120 49 16
609 I know I said my crocodile doesn’t bite but this isn’t my crocodile. 1.4375 0.05075 176 117 41 18
610 Our book recommendations are no longer suggestions 1.4375 0.04878 192 128 44 20
611 It's cut theft by 80%. 1.4375 0.04945 176 115 45 16
612 He specializes in political writing from Florida! 1.4371 0.05135 167 110 41 16
613 He's our guest author this week to talk about his new book. '"Eating Healthy In The Wild" 1.4368 0.04915 190 127 43 20
614 He wandered in one day and nobody wants to move him. 1.4368 0.04971 190 128 41 21
615 Our best leather bound book costs only an arm and a leg. 1.4367 0.04830 158 106 38 14
616 The leather bound ones will cost you an arm and a leg. 1.4365 0.05033 181 121 41 19
617 I see you have a gator on books, do you have any books on gators? 1.4363 0.04614 204 134 51 19
618 Yes, of course. You'll just need to take the bathroom key with you. 1.4361 0.05783 133 88 32 13
619 Security cameras were too expensive. 1.4360 0.05290 172 117 35 20
620 I dislike small dogs in the store. He likes them a lot. 1.4357 0.05664 140 93 33 14
621 Would you believe if it I told you he’s a voracious reader? 1.4357 0.05385 140 90 39 11
622 It's Stephen King's new novel. 1.4356 0.05507 163 112 31 20
623 You’re lucky he likes your selection. He bit someone last week for trying to buy The Fountainhead. 1.4353 0.05336 170 116 34 20
624 Welcome Mr. BEZOS, We've been expecting you. 1.4351 0.05674 154 106 29 19
625 His mate was made into book covers, and he's having a hard time letting her go. 1.4348 0.05031 184 124 40 20
626 Where is the second hand section? 1.4348 0.05993 138 95 26 17
627 Well .... he did get rid of the Elephant in the room! 1.4348 0.05905 138 94 28 16
628 He feels close to books. Some of his ancestors became bindings. 1.4346 0.04603 214 143 49 22
629 As an employee, he's pretty useless, but theft is way down. 1.4342 0.05170 152 98 42 12
630 It’s the new Peter Pan interactive version. 1.4340 0.04930 159 101 47 11
631 You know how they say that inside every one of us there’s a novelist struggling to get out? 1.4340 0.05466 159 108 33 18
632 Yes, it's a little off-putting. But shop lifting is down 100%! 1.4337 0.05225 166 111 38 17
633 Our in-house book critic. 1.4337 0.05225 166 111 38 17
634 Drain the Swamp: A memoir 1.4336 0.05749 143 97 30 16
635 We accept Visa, Mastercard, and any raw meats. 1.4330 0.04893 194 131 42 21
636 He came with the shirt" 1.4329 0.05127 164 108 41 15
637 'The animal control officer was in a snit about it at first, but, he doesn't come around anymore, if you know what I mean.' 1.4323 0.05569 155 106 31 18
638 Our old shredder broke down last night so... 1.4318 0.04941 176 116 44 16
639 We're competing with Amazon. Get it? 1.4318 0.05134 176 119 38 19
640 It worked for Izod. 1.4314 0.05623 153 105 30 18
641 We feed him on superfluous syntax, hyperbole and other excessive verbiage. As you can see, he is quite content.. 1.4312 0.05581 160 111 29 20
642 We have had zero book thefts since acquiring Mr Jaws. 1.4311 0.04841 167 107 48 12
643 We rescued him from the handbag shop next door. 1.4308 0.04593 195 127 52 16
644 You’re welcome to have a look around, just don’t make any sudden movements. 1.4306 0.05632 144 97 32 15
645 Choose wisely, my friend. 1.4305 0.05017 151 96 45 10
646 That’s correct sir. No one has walked out of here without purchasing at least one book 1.4304 0.05187 158 104 40 14
647 Sir, you can't shop here if you're going to wear Crocs. 1.4303 0.05315 165 112 35 18
648 We used to have a real problem with gazelles. 1.4295 0.05655 149 102 30 17
649 Is this the "A" section, or is that a crocodile? I always get them mixed up. 1.4294 0.04924 170 111 45 14
650 The books next to the crocodile are on sale. 1.4286 0.05411 161 110 33 18
651 Is this your first time in Florida? 1.4286 0.06113 126 86 26 14
652 The alarm clock is extra. 1.4286 0.05036 168 111 42 15
653 Reading is always an adventure. 1.4286 0.04964 168 110 44 14
654 People have been abusing the ‘Take a Penny / Leave a Penny’ tray. 1.4276 0.05491 152 103 33 16
655 Downtown Books has a cat and Uptown Books has a chinchilla, so we wanted something that could eat them both. 1.4272 0.04893 213 150 35 28
656 He comes free with the book “how to train your crocodile”. It’s a part of their marketing strategy 1.4269 0.04971 171 113 43 15
657 It says here on your resume you are a crocodile whisperer 1.4264 0.06005 129 88 27 14
658 No, he’s the PERFECT support animal for a misanthropist. 1.4263 0.04734 190 126 47 17
659 To be fair, he turns everything into pulp fiction. 1.4262 0.04863 183 122 44 17
660 I don’t know. I guess they drained the swamp. 1.4261 0.04630 176 115 48 13
661 Now that you mention it, I’m not sure where the store cat went 1.4261 0.05001 176 118 41 17
662 He just showed up after the cat disappeared. 1.4260 0.05012 169 112 42 15
663 No, you misheard. Our guest author is a real caiman, not Neil Gaiman. 1.4255 0.05625 141 95 32 14
664 That's our return policy. 1.4245 0.05591 139 93 33 13
665 He was the only one who applied. 1.4238 0.05352 151 101 36 14
666 He really devoured the classics. 1.4237 0.04979 177 119 41 17
667 Disruptive customers are no longer a problem. 1.4237 0.05230 177 123 33 21
668 Feeling endangered here? Welcome to the book biz. 1.4236 0.05795 144 100 27 17
669 You can buy books online but it isn’t the same experience. 1.4235 0.05455 170 120 28 22
670 Don’t worry…We’re both fully vaccinated. 1.4226 0.05306 168 116 33 19
671 He insisted on being displayed alphabetically. 1.4225 0.05504 142 95 34 13
672 We do have a few items you can't get on Amazon. 1.4222 0.05103 180 124 36 20
673 Because every other bookstore has a cat, that's why. 1.4221 0.05588 154 107 29 18
674 He was left here by Amazon 1.4221 0.05355 154 104 35 15
675 His name is Chaucer. He's not bad, he's misunderstood. 1.4220 0.05382 173 122 29 22
676 I’ve had no problem with shoplifters! 1.4219 0.05722 128 85 32 11
677 We had a wildebeest infestation 1.4219 0.05933 128 87 28 13
678 I said we have to find a way to compete with Amazon, not THE Amazon! 1.4216 0.04881 185 125 42 18
679 I got him in Florida. He's trained to eat patrons with masks on. 1.4207 0.05401 164 114 31 19
680 She handles returns. 1.4207 0.05116 164 110 39 15
681 Don't worry, she usually just keeps to the political memoirs. 1.4204 0.04960 157 102 44 11
682 She's trained to react to the words "Amazon has it cheaper." 1.4203 0.05892 138 96 26 16
683 We're surviving by the skin of his teeth 1.4202 0.05533 119 81 28 10
684 He was looking for readers to digest. 1.4200 0.05538 150 103 31 16
685 Fuck Florida. 1.4198 0.05519 162 114 28 20
686 Everything you see here is leather-bound 1.4192 0.04977 167 111 42 14
687 Well, this is the University of Florida book shop 1.4189 0.05340 148 99 36 13
688 He thinks he is a bookworm. 1.4189 0.05673 148 103 28 17
689 And you thought paper cuts were bad? 1.4187 0.05206 160 108 37 15
690 When sales fell we actually called for a litigator, yet this has been working. 1.4186 0.05998 129 89 26 14
691 Don’t judge him by his hardcover. 1.4184 0.05435 141 94 35 12
692 He deters customers from reading without purchasing… 1.4181 0.04776 177 117 46 14
693 Governor DeSantis appointed him to curate the public health collection. 1.4179 0.05831 134 92 28 14
694 Careful, now. She'll wait for you to mistake her for a log, then savage your manuscript and tell you it lacks character development. 1.4179 0.05058 134 92 31 11
695 He ate the cat and then he just sort of stayed. 1.4177 0.05328 158 108 34 16
696 Adopted him during lockdown. Now I have to bring him everywhere. 1.4177 0.04936 158 103 44 11
697 He ate all the copies of Moby Dick 1.4176 0.04812 182 122 44 16
698 The pandemic made him realize he wanted a lifestyle change. 1.4173 0.05676 139 95 30 14
699 He’s actually nicer than the old cat that used to sit up here 1.4172 0.05352 163 113 32 18
700 i had to hire extra help, lately we’ve been swamped. 1.4172 0.05281 163 112 34 17
701 Do you have any smaller bookmarks? 1.4167 0.06088 132 93 23 16
702 It's the cat's day off. 1.4167 0.05488 132 87 35 10
703 It was supposed to be an alle-GORY, not an alli-GATOR 1.4162 0.04988 173 117 40 16
704 He’s vegan and vaccinated 1.4157 0.05201 178 125 32 21
705 People kept stealing the cat. 1.4156 0.05187 154 103 38 13
706 It’s stuffed… why does it matter if I’m being figurative or literal? 1.4153 0.06292 118 82 23 13
707 Haven’t had a theft or break-in since I brought him into the business” 1.4150 0.05447 147 100 33 14
708 It was delivered ten minutes ago, a gift to independent book dealers from Bezos. 1.4138 0.05500 145 99 32 14
709 1st edition bound in genuine alligator leather 1.4138 0.05881 116 77 30 9
710 He's running for congress in Florida. 1.4136 0.05373 162 113 31 18
711 What can I say? He wrote an incredible memoir. 1.4132 0.04971 167 112 41 14
712 How much for the leatherbound copy? 1.4130 0.05608 138 94 31 13
713 All service animals stay up front with me. 1.4130 0.05217 138 90 39 9
714 In case anyone askes for an e-b-o-o-k. 1.4126 0.05643 143 99 29 15
715 Don’t judge it by its cover. 1.4126 0.05555 143 98 31 14
716 I don’t like cats. 1.4126 0.05729 143 100 27 16
717 He reminds everyone that ebooks lack the excitement of the real thing. 1.4124 0.04703 177 117 47 13
718 For returns you’ll need to deal with Albert here.” 1.4122 0.05618 131 88 32 11
719 He's been devouring our Prehistory section. 1.4122 0.05404 131 86 36 9
720 Amazon wouldn’t carry it 1.4122 0.05502 148 102 31 15
721 He has great taste in new authors. 1.4122 0.05157 148 98 39 11
722 Nope. We got it from THE Amazon. 1.4118 0.05831 153 111 21 21
723 try finding that on Amazon 1.4118 0.05775 119 79 31 9
724 Go ahead and pet her. She loves the attention. 1.4118 0.05666 136 93 30 13
725 Gracie here is my 'emotional service gator.' She's also my store's security system. 1.4114 0.05168 158 107 37 14
726 No, we actually discourage browsing. 1.4110 0.05054 163 110 39 14
727 He's a sub. Mittens has the day off. 1.4110 0.05556 146 101 30 15
728 It was almost a disaster when we kept him in the Braille section 1.4104 0.05181 173 121 33 19
729 Sign here before you shop - some of these books cost an arm or a leg 1.4101 0.05668 139 96 29 14
730 Penguins books decided to rebrand 1.4098 0.05552 122 80 34 8
731 Go ahead. Tell me how it's cheaper on Amazon. 1.4097 0.05781 144 102 25 17
732 Shouldn’t there be a book on crocodiles instead of a crocodile on books? 1.4097 0.05611 144 100 29 15
733 Hang out as long as you like, just be careful not to read too long without buying - our loitering policy has some teeth. 1.4094 0.06057 127 89 24 14
734 We had a few first editions go missing. 1.4088 0.05820 137 96 26 15
735 Goes without saying we both encourage you to submit a strongly supportive yelp review… 1.4087 0.05509 115 74 35 6
736 Sorry, bathroom's out of order. They're working on the sewer system around here today. 1.4085 0.05397 142 96 34 12
737 Oh... You're right. You did order an alligator. 1.4085 0.05303 142 95 36 11
738 You think a bull in a China shop is bad? 1.4083 0.04852 169 113 43 13
739 Hot off the best-selling list is “After While Crocodile,” the thrilling sequel to “See You Later Alligator.” 1.4082 0.05177 147 98 38 11
740 Don't judge the books by what's covering them. 1.4080 0.04823 174 117 43 14
741 Why yes, someone did turn in an alligator to the Lost and Found. Can you identify him for me? 1.4080 0.05803 125 85 29 11
742 Sure, we had a thief... Once. 1.4077 0.05747 130 89 29 12
743 He’s a rescue from the shoe store. 1.4076 0.04735 157 109 35 13
744 I'm not a cat person, so... 1.4071 0.05635 140 97 29 14
745 We feed him remainders. 1.4071 0.06112 113 77 26 10
746 Don't worry about him, he's intermittent fasting. 1.4069 0.05315 145 98 35 12
747 Don’t worry, the only thing he’ll sink his teeth into is a good book. 1.4069 0.05315 145 98 35 12
748 Believe it or not, he's also a voracious reader. 1.4068 0.04831 177 120 42 15
749 His name is Fluffy. He’s in charge of returns. 1.4068 0.05547 118 77 34 7
750 Looking for a slow build and a quick ending? 1.4065 0.05754 123 83 30 10
751 He's quite the voracious reader. 1.4062 0.05039 160 108 39 13
752 Nice belt. 1.4061 0.05151 165 114 35 16
753 If you want to pet him, you must first put your mask on. 1.4058 0.05599 138 95 30 13
754 Cat’s on vacation. He’s a temp. 1.4054 0.05778 111 73 31 7
755 He says he has a problem with your shoes. 1.4052 0.05869 116 78 29 9
756 Will that be cash or raw chicken parts? 1.4050 0.05818 121 82 29 10
757 That's not my alligator. 1.4049 0.05479 163 117 26 20
758 Your requested copy of “Alligators for Dummies “ has arrived. 1.4046 0.04976 173 124 30 19
759 I'm just trying to find a way to compete with Amazon. 1.4046 0.05712 131 90 29 12
760 Not to worry,he is my therapy gator. 1.4043 0.05602 141 98 29 14
761 My wife is getting the bookstore and everything in it after the divorce 1.4043 0.05602 141 98 29 14
762 It's a bibliophile crocodile. 1.4041 0.05011 146 96 41 9
763 You see it here, you buy it here and no one gets hurt. 1.4038 0.05286 156 108 33 15
764 It's a GUCCI book bag. 1.4035 0.06195 114 79 24 11
765 I thought crocs were out of fashion ... 1.4032 0.05716 124 84 30 10
766 Here for the “Lyle, Lyle Crocodile” book signing? 1.4031 0.04575 191 129 47 15
767 He says he works for Amazon. 1.4031 0.05980 129 91 24 14
768 If you touch it you buy it, but I wouldn't touch it if I were you. 1.4031 0.05980 129 91 24 14
769 Only if you ask for Barbara Cartland. 1.4027 0.05464 149 104 30 15
770 We’re an original amazon book seller. 1.4027 0.05628 149 106 26 17
771 The Amazon threat to the book business only gets worse. 1.4027 0.05708 149 107 24 18
772 Actually, I think I’ll just buy the e-book version 1.4025 0.05135 159 109 36 14
773 He’s looking for a novelist he can sink my teeth into… 1.4023 0.04677 174 116 46 12
774 It's a biting satire that's almost too gripping. 1.4017 0.05954 117 80 27 10
775 My parents tried to get me to flush him down the toilet; but I refused. 1.4016 0.05563 127 88 28 11
776 You fire him then. 1.4016 0.05619 127 86 31 10
777 His separation anxiety is too strong to leave him at home yet . 1.4016 0.05506 127 85 33 9
778 Don’t buy the top one, it’s his favorite 1.4015 0.05777 132 92 27 13
779 We used to have a cat, but too many people were allergic. 1.4015 0.05877 132 93 25 14
780 It discourages the slow readers 1.4015 0.05575 137 97 26 14
781 Oh, don't worry about Angela. She's fed up with literary people 1.4014 0.05683 147 105 25 17
782 Yes, that is an authentic alligator cover 1.4013 0.05411 157 111 29 17
783 He thinks this is Amazon. 1.4012 0.05215 162 113 33 16
784 He’s quite expensive to keep but shoplifting has fallen dramatically. 1.4011 0.04690 177 119 45 13
785 Shoplifting is down 90% this month. 1.4000 0.05632 130 89 30 11
786 Yeah, the shoplifting was getting so bad, I really had to get serious about security! 1.4000 0.04733 140 99 30 11
787 See you later, al ––" "I'm a crocodile, asshole." 1.4000 0.05840 130 91 26 13
788 As a matter of fact, shoplifting has gone way down. Why did you ask? 1.4000 0.05534 140 97 30 13
789 Don’t worry. She’s waiting for the Amazon guy. 1.4000 0.05484 145 101 30 14
790 It’s a tough job, I’m working round the croc. 1.4000 0.05840 130 91 26 13
791 He's a lot more effective than the security gates were. 1.3988 0.04674 168 114 42 12
792 Cash, or you can run your card through the reader there. 1.3988 0.05332 163 116 29 18
793 He hates books on reptile dysfunction. 1.3987 0.05355 153 107 31 15
794 Don’t be ridiculous! Of course, it’s not a live alligator. It’s a crocodile. 1.3986 0.05626 143 101 27 15
795 It’s part of our Choose Your Own Adventure series. 1.3986 0.05265 143 97 35 11
796 We accept Visa, Amex, Apple Pay and pound o’ flesh.” 1.3986 0.05265 143 97 35 11
797 He’s the interactive part of our Ayn Rand display. 1.3986 0.05495 138 95 31 12
798 I don't remember the difference either. Unfortunately he's blocking the zoology section, so I can't look it up. 1.3984 0.05258 123 80 37 6
799 We had a cat but all it ate were the mice. 1.3983 0.06154 118 83 23 12
800 Critics say that it will take a hold of you, and that you won’t be able to put it down 1.3981 0.05725 108 71 31 6
801 I’ll be helping you today. He’s swamped 1.3978 0.04614 181 122 46 13
802 Our special guest today is the book critic of the New York Times. 1.3974 0.05119 156 107 36 13
803 God do I ever fucking hate Florida 1.3974 0.05486 151 107 28 16
804 Of course you can browse. Just sign this release form and you are good to go. 1.3973 0.05539 146 103 28 15
805 Depends what you mean by "friendly". 1.3972 0.05409 141 97 32 12
806 A cat in a bookstore is so trite. 1.3972 0.05593 141 99 28 14
807 It comes with the "Art of the Deal". 1.3971 0.05930 136 98 22 16
808 Yeah, I wouldn't recommend trying to return anything" 1.3969 0.05492 131 89 32 10
809 It enforces the store's "No Pets" policy. 1.3966 0.04946 174 121 37 16
810 This is Allie, she’s helping out until we get our antitheft system up and running. 1.3964 0.05256 169 121 29 19
811 He replaced the elephant in the room. 1.3964 0.06175 111 77 24 10
812 No, I’ll see YOU later 1.3962 0.06242 106 73 24 9
813 I would suggest that you don't bring attention to your boots... 1.3961 0.05081 154 105 37 12
814 He's a Consultant. He survived the Jurassic period, figured he might help us survive Amazon and the Digital Age! 1.3958 0.05594 144 102 27 15
815 He only eats bookworms. 1.3955 0.04950 177 124 36 17
816 As you can see, we're swamped at the moment. 1.3951 0.04904 162 110 40 12
817 People’s choice of ‘see ya later’ or ‘in awhile’ has proven to be costly. 1.3947 0.05126 152 104 36 12
818 It has been very effective in enforcing our mask mandate. 1.3946 0.04731 185 128 41 16
819 Beach reading in Florida? This might grab you. 1.3944 0.05378 142 98 32 12
820 he’s my emotional support reptile 1.3944 0.05561 142 100 28 14
821 When I got him, he fit into my aquarium. 1.3942 0.05864 104 69 29 6
822 His name’s Fluffy 1.3942 0.05614 137 96 28 13
823 No no, I said 'books on crockery' 1.3942 0.05419 137 94 32 11
824 He likes bookstores because they are like him. Obsolete, but still here. 1.3939 0.05563 132 91 30 11
825 We haven't had a shoplifter since he arrived. 1.3934 0.05768 122 84 28 10
826 Harry, I said, “be more like Amazon, not THE Amazon.” 1.3933 0.05343 150 105 31 14
827 If you’re looking for the cat, he’s gone to the record store. 1.3933 0.04927 178 125 36 17
828 If you crave biting satire, this one will grab you! 1.3931 0.05647 145 104 25 16
829 Easy, Bruno - this one pays for the books he reads. 1.3929 0.05431 140 97 31 12
830 Nope, just a voracious appetite for the classics. 1.3929 0.04779 168 114 42 12
831 Don't lean on the desk. 1.3926 0.05473 135 93 31 11
832 Uh-oh, I think he just spotted your belt. 1.3924 0.04905 158 107 40 11
833 You’ve got your choice: see you later or in a while. 1.3923 0.05621 130 90 29 11
834 So many writers asking for opinions of their work. This just seemed easier. 1.3922 0.05937 102 68 28 6
835 That is our no refund policy. 1.3920 0.05781 125 87 27 11
836 He is better than a bull in a china shop 1.3920 0.05668 125 86 29 10
837 He loves to sink his teeth into the best sellers 1.3917 0.05952 120 84 25 11
838 No, actually he's not friendly. 1.3917 0.05712 120 82 29 9
839 He’s both my emotional support animal and my personal security guard. 1.3913 0.05858 138 100 22 16
840 As required by court order, I must read you our store security protocol. 1.3913 0.05387 138 95 32 11
841 I’m afraid the cat is no longer with us. 1.3913 0.04759 161 108 43 10
842 Let’s hope ‘Herpatology Month’ goes better than ‘Virology Month’ did. 1.3913 0.04840 161 109 41 11
843 And just to let you know, anyone who would like a five-finger discount will instantly get half off. 1.3907 0.05230 151 105 33 13
844 I was told Crocs are back in fashion 1.3906 0.05789 128 90 26 12
845 ... just in case Jeff Bezos ever shows up. 1.3906 0.05572 128 88 30 10
846 He's not, strictly speaking, an author, but we know he's got a few good books in him. 1.3904 0.05615 146 105 25 16
847 The leather binding is extra. 1.3902 0.05845 123 86 26 11
848 We have a website if you prefer shopping online. 1.3898 0.05901 118 82 26 10
849 He helps us recycle the remainders. 1.3897 0.05340 136 93 33 10
850 He’s coming out in a leather-bound edition any day now. 1.3896 0.05155 154 107 34 13
851 My wife found this stuffed thing at a thrift store. Supposed to help keep shoplifters away. 1.3896 0.04902 154 104 40 10
852 Don't worry--he's vaccinated. 1.3895 0.04910 172 120 37 15
853 Please insert your credit card. 1.3894 0.05820 113 77 28 8
854 They live in endangered habitats. 1.3894 0.06214 113 80 22 11
855 Well, this IS the nature section. 1.3893 0.05013 149 101 38 10
856 Not if he sees you first! 1.3889 0.05631 126 87 29 10
857 Please speak to my associate about our new mask policy for the unvaccinated. 1.3889 0.05497 144 102 28 14
858 He checks all handbags, wallets and shoes. 1.3889 0.05852 126 89 25 12
859 Cuts down on the browsers. 1.3886 0.04423 175 116 50 9
860 A word to the wise. Don't spend too much time leafing through the magazines. 1.3884 0.04821 121 79 38 4
861 You’re not the only one who likes to devour books. 1.3883 0.05728 103 68 30 5
862 His silent judgment of your book choices is much worse than his bite. 1.3882 0.05156 170 122 30 18
863 No, this is crocodile. Alligators are in the back. 1.3879 0.05970 116 81 25 10
864 With all due respect, it’s not my fault if people aren’t buying your book. 1.3878 0.05414 147 104 29 14
865 No, he's not stuffed...yet. 1.3876 0.05751 129 91 26 12
866 It's cut down on the shooplifting. 1.3875 0.05169 160 113 32 15
867 If you're interested we have something a little more exotic than the usual leather binding this month. 1.3871 0.05046 155 107 36 12
868 Of course you can still browse for hours, put the books back in the wrong places and leave without spending a dime. You can run 30 miles an hour for at least ten seconds, right? 1.3868 0.06080 106 73 25 8
869 No, it's her agent. 1.3867 0.05417 150 107 28 15
870 We wanted to put some teeth into our return policy. 1.3866 0.05483 119 80 32 7
871 She", not "he". And she's an alligator, not a crocodile. Please don't make assumptions. 1.3861 0.05965 101 68 27 6
872 This is Mildred. She’s in charge of returns. 1.3860 0.06293 114 82 20 12
873 He’s a bibliodile. 1.3860 0.05912 114 79 26 9
874 His latest book, "Don't Drain the Swamp", is Number 3 on the NYT non-fiction list. 1.3858 0.05706 127 89 27 11
875 Very few people are attacked by alligators, and most survive. 1.3852 0.05360 135 93 32 10
876 Yes, this is the leather bound edition. 1.3851 0.05121 148 102 35 11
877 I’m sorry. Stephanie no longer works here. 1.3846 0.05337 143 100 31 12
878 These thrillers grab readers right from the get-go. 1.3846 0.05337 143 100 31 12
879 Don’t worry, he’s from the Amazon, not Amazon. 1.3846 0.06307 104 73 22 9
880 Our new hire is a connoisseur of biting social commentary. 1.3846 0.05182 156 110 32 14
881 Sorry, you just missed it––and it was 'EAT the author.' 1.3846 0.05101 156 109 34 13
882 It's quiet, now. But earlier, we were swamped. 1.3846 0.05337 143 100 31 12
883 Best anti-theft system we've ever had! While a few customers have lost a limb, not a single book has been taken. 1.3841 0.04967 138 92 39 7
884 We're trying to compete with Amazon. 1.3839 0.06115 112 79 23 10
885 He knows if you are going to order from Amazon. 1.3836 0.05347 146 103 30 13
886 Fred, listen to this: "global warming is forcing alligators from their natural habitat and into our suburban communities"...shocking. 1.3835 0.05517 133 93 29 11
887 Yeah, it’s genuine alligator. 1.3833 0.06056 120 86 22 12
888 Sorry, she ate all the penguins." 1.3830 0.05294 141 98 32 11
889 Don't worry, he only eats bookworms. 1.3828 0.05882 128 92 23 13
890 I know it’s a bit unusual…but what will really surprise you is that he’s from Florida and he actually reads! 1.3826 0.06124 115 82 22 11
891 Five finger discounts have gone way down since I hired him. 1.3824 0.05225 136 93 34 9
892 You're safe unless he smells a Kindle. 1.3824 0.06080 102 70 25 7
893 Wow at least we don't have that bookstore cat problem anymore. 1.3818 0.05627 110 74 30 6
894 I’ll be with you in a moment. He’ll see you later. 1.3817 0.05574 131 92 28 11
895 What a Croc! 1.3814 0.06626 97 69 19 9
896 I see you have a crocodile on books, but I’m looking for a book on crocodiles. 1.3814 0.05886 118 83 25 10
897 It was either become a book cover, or cover the books. 1.3813 0.05345 139 97 31 11
898 They were out of therapy dogs 1.3813 0.05441 139 98 29 12
899 Its part of the display for Ted Cruz's new autobiography: 'Crocodile Tears' 1.3810 0.06544 105 76 18 11
900 No more pilfering problem 1.3810 0.05802 105 71 28 6
901 Right now it only comes in hardback. 1.3810 0.06110 105 73 24 8
902 He can smell Amazon shoppers. 1.3806 0.05685 134 96 25 13
903 No, he's not an alligator, he's a crocodile. You can see his teeth when his mouth is closed. And, alligator's don't read. 1.3805 0.05804 113 78 27 8
904 It’s a crocodoodle. 1.3805 0.05804 113 78 27 8
905 This is an example of one of our 3D illustrations…no worries” 1.3803 0.05167 142 98 34 10
906 He's positively voracious--only as a reader, don't worry. 1.3803 0.05450 142 101 28 13
907 Why is the gator here? Try stealing a book! 1.3802 0.06014 121 87 22 12
908 You’ve heard of the proverbial bull in the china shop.” “Well… 1.3802 0.05660 121 84 28 9
909 Nice to know they are finally relaxing the rules on emotional support animals. 1.3800 0.05993 100 68 26 6
910 When they said this place charges an arm and a leg… 1.3796 0.05687 137 99 24 14
911 He's a lazy bastard, but he sure knows his Faulkner. 1.3793 0.05698 116 80 28 8
912 It came with my Amazon Prime subscription 1.3793 0.05698 116 80 28 8
913 Yes, we used to have a cat here. 1.3789 0.06554 95 67 20 8
914 Shoplifting and holdups are way down 1.3788 0.05539 132 93 28 11
915 I was told to reach a new demographic, I needed a gimmick. He's part of my Bite Into A Book initiative. 1.3788 0.05744 132 95 24 13
916 Great at snappy comebacks. 1.3786 0.06340 103 73 21 9
917 No one supports mom-and-croc businesses anymore. 1.3786 0.04805 140 103 25 12
918 Florida man runs a bookstore. 1.3784 0.05873 111 77 26 8
919 Back in New York I used to panic when we'd get a wasp in the window. 1.3784 0.05731 111 76 28 7
920 I said I’d watch him while his parents browse. 1.3784 0.06145 111 79 22 10
921 You know how hard it is to get a dog these days? 1.3784 0.05873 111 77 26 8
922 Ahha - there you are 1.3784 0.06145 111 79 22 10
923 He's here for the book signing. 1.3782 0.05201 119 84 27 8
924 Don't take his word for it. He claims every book makes him cry. 1.3782 0.05336 119 80 33 6
925 I told you "hands off" 1.3780 0.05693 127 90 26 11
926 He loves unvaccinated meat. 1.3780 0.05469 127 88 30 9
927 He loves Chekhov. 1.3780 0.04991 127 84 38 5
928 It's an alligator. We don't allow crocs in the store. 1.3778 0.05450 135 95 29 11
929 We’re hoping it’ll get folks from Florida interested in books 1.3776 0.06408 98 69 21 8
930 We require proof of vaccination 1.3769 0.05702 130 93 25 12
931 Think bodega cat, but Florida. 1.3769 0.05806 130 94 23 13
932 He’s here promoting his latest book, When They Drained the Swamp - A Memoir 1.3767 0.05424 146 105 27 14
933 Look, any shop could have books on alligators… 1.3762 0.05946 101 69 26 6
934 He's here to judge your taste. In books. 1.3761 0.06357 109 79 19 11
935 Shoplifting used to be a problem. 1.3760 0.05408 125 86 31 8
936 Enforcement 1.3750 0.05985 104 72 25 7
937 Those are books on reptile dysfunction. 1.3750 0.05559 120 83 29 8
938 Hey, it's better than the crock Tucker Carlson's been publishing 1.3750 0.06290 104 74 21 9
939 He's just waiting for the next Amazon delivery. 1.3750 0.05869 128 93 22 13
940 We have installed a new security system! 1.3750 0.06664 96 69 18 9
941 We suggest social distancing. 1.3750 0.05109 144 100 34 10
942 If you're hunting for a book, better let me help. 1.3750 0.04999 136 92 37 7
943 He enforces the no return policy on self-help books 1.3750 0.06139 104 73 23 8
944 I didn't just want to be another bookstore with a cat. 1.3750 0.06497 96 68 20 8
945 He’s the only one that applied for the job 1.3750 0.06436 104 75 19 10
946 Very good, ‘in a while’. No sir, we’ve never heard that one before. 1.3750 0.05865 120 88 20 12
947 Don’t mind him, he’s illiterate 1.3742 0.05190 155 111 30 14
948 Expensive? Yes, but it's leather-bound. 1.3741 0.05393 147 106 27 14
949 His book is worse than his bite. 1.3741 0.05525 139 100 26 13
950 He keeps the 'five fingered discounts' to a minimum. 1.3741 0.04873 139 96 35 8
951 Too many customers were allergic to cats. I may have overreacted. 1.3740 0.05702 123 87 26 10
952 Ever since he’s been here people have been buying and running instead of browsing and sitting. 1.3739 0.06109 115 83 21 11
953 He’s been very useful preventing people from reading books here without buying them. 1.3732 0.05346 142 101 29 12
954 I chose to model my business after Amazon 1.3730 0.05716 126 90 25 11
955 He crawled out of the sewer and ate the cat, and no one is allergic to him so he's staying 1.3729 0.05871 118 84 24 10
956 Yeah, he's a fast worker, but he can only reach the bottom shelf. 1.3729 0.05355 118 80 32 6
957 May I help you find something or would you like to take a chance browsing? 1.3723 0.06047 94 64 25 5
958 No, we haven't had any robberies lately; why do you ask? 1.3721 0.04678 129 94 26 9
959 If you're going to reach for a book, do it very slowly. 1.3721 0.05286 129 89 32 8
960 So this is the only alligator you have on books? 1.3717 0.06054 113 81 22 10
961 Welcome to our Eat the Author event 1.3714 0.06091 105 74 23 8
962 I call him 'Amazon'. 1.3712 0.05526 132 94 27 11
963 I liked it, but he was looking for something he could really sink his teeth into. 1.3712 0.05630 132 95 25 12
964 Yes, this is the leatherbound section. 1.3707 0.05812 116 82 25 9
965 That's Al, he's a voracious reader." 1.3707 0.05681 116 81 27 8
966 He's a voracious eater...I mean reader 1.3706 0.05126 143 100 33 10
967 It's take your pet to work day. 1.3706 0.05029 143 99 35 9
968 Take a penny, lose a hand. 1.3704 0.06113 108 77 22 9
969 He only bites if he sees you comparing our prices to Amazon's. 1.3704 0.06655 108 81 14 13
970 My ex got the house and I got her favorite cat. 1.3701 0.05454 127 89 29 9
971 If you prefer the alligator binding, it's DIY. 1.3701 0.05454 127 89 29 9
972 Bookstore cats are so passe'. We decided to go edgy. 1.3701 0.05895 127 93 21 13
973 ‘Book signings begin after lunch.’ 1.3701 0.05788 127 92 23 12
974 Well, we did have a cat at one point 1.3701 0.05788 127 92 23 12
975 He's harmless. Just don't do the "see you later" joke on the way out. 1.3700 0.06460 100 72 19 9
976 I know. We had to scale back our staff. 1.3700 0.06139 100 70 23 7
977 He just devours literature! 1.3697 0.05581 119 83 28 8
978 Go ahead, ask him for a recommendation." 1.3696 0.06320 92 64 22 6
979 We have a few new snappy titles” 1.3696 0.05150 138 96 33 9
980 You expected a bookWORM? 1.3692 0.05689 130 94 24 12
981 No more cat smell! 1.3692 0.05689 130 94 24 12
982 We're not sure if it's a he or a she, but it's very possessive of the LGBTQ section. Everywhere else you'll be fine. 1.3691 0.05159 149 106 31 12
983 Nice watch. 1.3689 0.05687 103 70 28 5
984 That selection will cost you an arm and a leg. 1.3684 0.05280 133 93 31 9
985 Despite that Amazon disruptor we’ve managed to stay in business. 1.3684 0.05746 114 80 26 8
986 We've had no more hold-ups since we hired the Gator Guard. 1.3684 0.05879 114 81 24 9
987 I'm glad I didn't bring my regular wallet. 1.3684 0.06867 95 70 15 10
988 You can ask, but he always recommends Steve Irwin's books. 1.3681 0.05097 144 101 33 10
989 He suffers from PTSD since reading "Peter Pan". 1.3680 0.05392 125 87 30 8
990 His tell-all "Death in the Everglades" is a perfect summer beach read. 1.3676 0.05602 136 99 24 13
991 Choose carefully 1.3676 0.05093 136 94 34 8
992 Don't worry, he can't read. 1.3676 0.05199 136 95 32 9
993 You can enter if you tell me correctly whether it's a crocodile or an alligator. 1.3675 0.06021 117 85 21 11
994 He was living in the sewers but then he heard about autobiographies and now I can’t get him to leave 1.3675 0.05771 117 83 25 9
995 I told you she wasn’t friendly. At least you still have a left arm. 1.3673 0.06863 98 73 14 11
996 Mrs. Kestrel? You'll have to ask him about that. 1.3670 0.06205 109 79 20 10
997 I'm being sued by three ex-clerks, but shoplifting’s down ninety percent. 1.3670 0.05925 109 77 24 8
998 We just started a new program to attract younger readers. To be honest, I’m not looking forward to 'E is for Elephant' day… 1.3667 0.05909 120 87 22 11
999 Sadly, our reptillian collection is a croc. 1.3667 0.05667 120 85 26 9
1000 Don't ask me why, he just has this thing about New Fiction. But you're welcome to try. 1.3667 0.05284 120 82 32 6
1001 The labor market is so tight, all the candidates we see are candidates from when Trump drained the swamp. 1.3667 0.05909 120 87 22 11
1002 He’s here to provide the tears of regret for the Trump reinstatement section. 1.3664 0.05441 131 93 28 10
1003 It’s alligator hunting season. He figures this is the last place they’d look. 1.3664 0.05441 131 93 28 10
1004 We take 'publish or perish' rather seriously. 1.3663 0.06559 101 74 17 10
1005 Try saying 'see ya later'. Trust me, it's funny. 1.3661 0.06213 112 82 19 11
1006 Fake news is on the other side of the store, this is all crock. 1.3661 0.05812 112 79 25 8
1007 Don’t worry, she’s already eaten! 1.3659 0.05687 123 88 25 10
1008 Bibliophile crocodile! 🐊 1.3659 0.06138 123 92 17 14
1009 Nope. You won't be seeing Mrs. Kestrel around anymore. 1.3657 0.05458 134 96 27 11
1010 See what grabs you. 1.3655 0.05254 145 104 29 12
1011 We are going extinct together. 1.3652 0.06092 115 84 20 11
1012 Did you say you wanted a book on alligators or an alligator on a book? 1.3652 0.05837 115 82 24 9
1013 I believe it will go away when it figures out we're not a "gnus" stand. 1.3651 0.05238 126 87 32 7
1014 I have cat allergies. 1.3651 0.05357 126 88 30 8
1015 No else applied for the job? 1.3649 0.04996 148 104 34 10
1016 Someone told him that a bookstore was the best place to be underwater. 1.3646 0.06475 96 69 19 8
1017 Well to be fair, the fact that we’re both unmasked indoors is the bigger threat. 1.3645 0.06142 107 77 21 9
1018 This one he devoured in one sitting. 1.3645 0.05695 107 74 27 6
1019 As I was saying, it's hard to keep workers nowadays. They just keep disappearing. 1.3645 0.06284 107 78 19 10
1020 He's a metaphor for how we feel about your manuscript. 1.3644 0.05602 118 83 27 8
1021 I heard crocs were in this year 1.3643 0.05385 129 91 29 9
1022 A Melville bound in alligator will cost you an arm and a leg. 1.3643 0.05190 140 99 31 10
1023 He's not signing books until this afternoon. See you later. 1.3642 0.04554 151 102 43 6
1024 I'm sorry sir, it only comes in hardback. 1.3636 0.05505 121 85 28 8
1025 Tell it to the new complaint department. 1.3636 0.05505 121 85 28 8
1026 Shoplifting was a problem. 1.3636 0.05505 121 85 28 8
1027 I must say, he's one voracious reader. 1.3636 0.05736 110 77 26 7
1028 That's the half to three quarters off table... 1.3636 0.05718 132 97 22 13
1029 Please, when you leave, just say goodbye. 1.3636 0.05298 132 93 30 9
1030 Can I pet him? 1.3636 0.06157 110 80 20 10
1031 Well, we had to find some way to compete with Amazon… 1.3636 0.05629 121 86 26 9
1032 Meet our new security system…our theft reduction has literally been cut in half! 1.3631 0.04879 157 111 35 11
1033 That’s our endangered book section. 1.3630 0.05223 146 105 29 12
1034 For the protection of our workers I must insist you wear a mask 1.3629 0.05764 124 90 23 11
1035 In Florida this just seemed more appropriate than a cat. 1.3628 0.05905 113 81 23 9
1036 Would you like the author to bite mark it for you? 1.3628 0.05488 113 78 29 6
1037 No, we don’t have any books on crocodiles, just crocodiles on books. 1.3623 0.05628 138 102 22 14
1038 He’s not very good looking but we’ve eliminated our shoplifting problem. 1.3622 0.05664 127 92 24 11
1039 Our customers keep asking for more bite. 1.3622 0.05204 127 88 32 7
1040 Neither. It's a caiman. 1.3622 0.05986 127 95 18 14
1041 Honestly, Gerald, what’s it gonna take? She’s not your buddy. She ate your goddamn arm 1.3621 0.06171 116 86 18 12
1042 With DeSantis in office, Floridians are moving back to New York. 1.3619 0.05918 105 74 24 7
1043 ‘You’re looking for anti-vax books ? We keep them here at the register , just under my colleague’ 1.3619 0.05761 105 73 26 6
1044 So tell me again how much cheaper it is if you order it from Amazon. 1.3615 0.05675 130 95 23 12
1045 I keep saying "see ya later" but it won't take the hint. 1.3613 0.05935 119 87 21 11
1046 It was climate change that brought him here. But it’s his penchant for magical realism that keeps him coming back. 1.3611 0.05950 108 77 23 8
1047 Relax. I've already fed him lunch. 1.3607 0.05590 122 87 26 9
1048 He’s therapeutic. Keeps me from snapping. 1.3607 0.05590 122 87 26 9
1049 Sorry if my colleague seems a bit snappy. 1.3605 0.07193 86 64 13 9
1050 I hear that he’s a voracious reader . . . 1.3604 0.05548 111 77 28 6
1051 Did you want the alligator binding on that? 1.3604 0.05836 111 79 24 8
1052 He said he’s not leaving until he finds one book that puts alligators in a better light ! 1.3600 0.05611 125 90 25 10
1053 If he bites you, the self-help section is in aisle four. 1.3600 0.05725 125 91 23 11
1054 Florida was great except for the stray my daughter picked up. 1.3600 0.05777 100 69 26 5
1055 I can get one from Amazon for less... 1.3600 0.06117 100 71 22 7
1056 We needed to sell something that couldn’t be downloaded off the internet. How many alligators would you like today? 1.3600 0.05611 125 90 25 10
1057 Crocodile daycare is closed today so I had to bring him with me. 1.3600 0.06117 100 71 22 7
1058 This is the Suspense section. 1.3597 0.05106 139 98 32 9
1059 He's a crocodile, and we will not be seeing you later. 1.3596 0.05590 114 80 27 7
1060 We take cash and credit card, but he prefers Bitcoin. 1.3594 0.05404 128 91 28 9
1061 We survive by devouring the competition. 1.3594 0.05289 128 90 30 8
1062 It’s not a mandate: if you don’t want to show proof of vaccination that’s fine, but you have to fight the crocodile. 1.3594 0.05404 128 91 28 9
1063 He recommends Peter Pan 1.3590 0.05753 117 84 24 9
1064 He helps with our "you browse you buy" policy. 1.3590 0.05355 117 81 30 6
1065 He's my social-distancing support animal. 1.3588 0.05533 131 95 25 11
1066 I came, I saw, I Izod 1.3587 0.06481 92 66 19 7
1067 Thanks for coming to my signing. This is my agent. 1.3585 0.06170 106 77 20 9
1068 We felt that "book store cat'" had become too much of a cliche 1.3585 0.06023 106 76 22 8
1069 I suppose it's kind of like being a cat person. 1.3585 0.06314 106 78 18 10
1070 Well the owner though we should compete with Shark Week 1.3585 0.05558 106 73 28 5
1071 Last week I had to address the elephant in the room and now this? 1.3583 0.05893 120 88 21 11
1072 Please don't smile at him. 1.3582 0.05339 134 96 28 10
1073 Nobody shoplifts in this store whether or not they know whether he's a crocodile or an alligator. 1.3579 0.06155 95 67 22 6
1074 We're Gator Books now. It ate the Kestrel. 1.3579 0.06155 95 67 22 6
1075 Don't get him started on Michel Houellebecq. 1.3579 0.06679 95 70 16 9
1076 His resume said he was a people person. 1.3579 0.05970 95 66 24 5
1077 He's really proprietary about these biographies of the Lacoste family... 1.3578 0.05905 109 78 23 8
1078 Not what I meant by “biting prose”… 1.3578 0.06322 109 81 17 11
1079 Suzy was going to cook this alligator last night but then realized we only have a croc pot. 1.3577 0.05744 137 103 19 15
1080 It creeps up on you and pulls you into a twisted finale. 1.3571 0.05930 112 81 22 9
1081 This is our new gator aide. 1.3571 0.06197 98 70 21 7
1082 He just finished all six volumes of "The Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire." 1.3571 0.05508 112 78 28 6
1083 She has reduced shoplifting to zero. 1.3566 0.05369 129 92 28 9
1084 I wouldn't browse the Nature section. 1.3566 0.05255 129 91 30 8
1085 Don't worry. He only attacks the pretentious. 1.3565 0.05948 115 84 21 10
1086 Hiya, Lefty. 1.3564 0.06384 101 74 18 9
1087 The last time you tried to pet him it didn't go so well. At least you're right handed. 1.3564 0.06227 101 73 20 8
1088 She prefers baloney, misinformation content and, especially, anti-vaxxers. 1.3559 0.05712 118 85 24 9
1089 It already got it's fill in the children's section. 1.3559 0.06081 118 88 18 12
1090 I planned to use his leather for bookbinding, but I got attached to him. 1.3559 0.05712 118 85 24 9
1091 Please keep a nice social distance. 1.3558 0.05784 104 73 25 6
1092 Don’t ask. 1.3557 0.05223 149 109 27 13
1093 Yeah, business is down since the flood, but so is theft. 1.3557 0.05135 149 108 29 12
1094 Don’t worry, he only bites if you don’t buy. 1.3556 0.05978 90 62 24 4
1095 He doesn't bite, he's just a reminder of your crocodile tears for the Independent Bookstore as you hit 'Amazon one click'. 1.3556 0.06762 90 66 16 8
1096 Haven't had a shoplifter since I got him. 1.3556 0.05201 135 96 30 9
1097 We have an unforgiving return policy. 1.3556 0.05201 135 96 30 9
1098 Look Joe, you have to stop telling the customers its gonna cost them an arm and a leg. 1.3554 0.05487 121 86 27 8
1099 Where do you think the binding comes from? 1.3551 0.06122 107 78 20 9
1100 You act like you’ve never been to a croc and mortar book store before. 1.3551 0.05976 107 77 22 8
1101 It’s allegorical 1.3551 0.06403 107 80 16 11
1102 Yeah, I knew she'd be a real conversation starter. 1.3551 0.05325 138 100 27 11
1103 He tends to linger near the Ayn Rand section. 1.3548 0.06602 93 68 17 8
1104 She likes a book she can really sink her teeth into 1.3548 0.05395 124 88 28 8
1105 My order for cookbooks had a typo. 1.3548 0.06047 93 65 23 5
1106 He's never been the same since he was on the cover of Swamplandia! 1.3548 0.05972 124 93 18 13
1107 He doesn't just read them, he devours them. 1.3545 0.05860 110 79 23 8
1108 He'll weep epic tears whenever called for, perfect for Jane Austen. 1.3545 0.05716 110 78 25 7
1109 He's here to greet my book's critics. 1.3540 0.05886 113 82 22 9
1110 Litigator. 1.3540 0.06018 113 83 20 10
1111 I’ll be honest, it’s a publish or perish world. 1.3540 0.05886 113 82 22 9
1112 We have no more rats or shoplifters. 1.3538 0.05335 130 93 28 9
1113 I used to keep him in the back in fiction but that led to some unfortunate misunderstandings. 1.3538 0.05335 130 93 28 9
1114 I heard Crocs are in again. 1.3538 0.05554 130 95 24 11
1115 Yes, climate change IS real. 1.3535 0.06144 99 71 21 7
1116 We don't countenance plagiarism. 1.3534 0.05645 116 83 25 8
1117 My daughter told me crocs are cool again. 1.3534 0.05028 133 93 33 7
1118 Let’s just say that the thinking here is you buy the book and do your reading at home. He gets snappish if you linger too long. 1.3529 0.05672 119 86 24 9
1119 I'm sorry, but there were no hardcover copies available of the crocodile book you ordered. 1.3529 0.05672 119 86 24 9
1120 In this case, judge a book by its cover. 1.3529 0.06331 102 75 18 9
1121 Sir,we are an independently owned bookstore. Before you pass judgment,consider the fact that illegal alligator fighting rings are the only way we make money. 1.3529 0.06483 102 76 16 10
1122 It seemed like a reasonable pet when the world was ending, a few months ago. 1.3529 0.05685 102 71 26 5
1123 What makes you think we would carry books on reptile disfunction? 1.3525 0.05390 139 102 25 12
1124 He is all that is left of our Tuesday night book club. 1.3525 0.05450 122 87 27 8
1125 It's the only copy with the original binding 1.3525 0.05573 122 88 25 9
1126 My new Gator-aid 1.3525 0.04496 122 90 25 7
1127 well... he has digested a lot of books 1.3524 0.06049 105 76 21 8
1128 No, it's a crocodile. 1.3524 0.06199 105 77 19 9
1129 Bring your pet to work” day 1.3524 0.05577 105 73 27 5
1130 Ohhhh... you ordered a BOOK on CARNIVORES? 1.3524 0.05577 105 73 27 5
1131 If you’re not willing to hand sanitize, then we welcome you to browse at your own risk. 1.3524 0.05896 105 75 23 7
1132 Like the bookstore itself, he is a living throwback to a long extinct era. 1.3524 0.06049 105 76 21 8
1133 Customers like that there's no more cat hair on the books. 1.3523 0.06473 88 63 19 6
1134 He's also a voracious reader 1.3520 0.05237 125 88 30 7
1135 This is our curator. He'll tell you which books are a good read and which ones are a crock. 1.3520 0.05478 125 90 26 9
1136 I'll let you know when it's available in paperback. 1.3520 0.05594 125 91 24 10
1137 after a while, head down the crocodaisle 1.3520 0.05594 125 91 24 10
1138 You are in luck, our leather bound expert is in today 1.3520 0.05709 125 92 22 11
1139 Look, if I could hire you both I would. 1.3519 0.05782 108 77 24 7
1140 Lyle, would you punch this man's card? 1.3519 0.05929 108 78 22 8
1141 What the heck is that!? Well, it says here that you can distinguish an alligator from a crocodile by paying attention to whether the animal sees you later or in a while. 1.3519 0.05929 108 78 22 8
1142 Hi Mr. Wright. Welcome back. Allix has very fond memories of your last visit. 1.3519 0.05782 108 77 24 7
1143 Our hiring policy doesn’t discriminate against race, gender, sexual orientation, or animal kingdom. 1.3516 0.06514 91 66 18 7
1144 Captain Hook is doing a book signing here today. 1.3516 0.05387 128 92 27 9
1145 Here for the literary feast? 1.3516 0.05500 128 93 25 10
1146 He’s still not a good boy, nor can he give you your arm back. But I think you’ll be happy about how we can cover this. 1.3514 0.05377 111 77 29 5
1147 He’s a bit snappy at book club meetings, but sure beats the waitlist for a shelter dog. 1.3514 0.05673 111 79 25 7
1148 Just like pit bulls, most make loyal, loving pets. 1.3511 0.05074 131 92 32 7
1149 Yeah, don’t tell anyone, but I got him from Amazon. 1.3511 0.05189 131 93 30 8
1150 One has to keep up with Amazon these days 1.3511 0.05995 94 66 23 5
1151 His roommates in Florida caught COVID, so he’s hiding out here. Figured the last place they’d look is a bookstore. 1.3511 0.05801 94 65 25 4
1152 Security. 1.3509 0.05708 114 82 24 8
1153 Please refrain yourself from saying "see you later, alligator." 1.3509 0.05708 114 82 24 8
1154 What happened to Fifi ... 1.3505 0.06050 97 69 22 6
1155 Sales are down 20% but shoplifting has completely disappeared. 1.3505 0.06395 97 71 18 8
1156 The cat? Haven't seen him. 1.3505 0.06561 97 72 16 9
1157 Don't worry he's only trained to scare off Jeff Bezos. 1.3504 0.05670 117 87 20 10
1158 His name is Amazon. 1.3504 0.05735 117 85 23 9
1159 She’s my emotional support crocodile. 1.3504 0.04173 117 87 24 6
1160 We used to have a bookworm, but it wasn't good enough. 1.3500 0.05876 120 89 20 11
1161 No, this is only like the Amazon. 1.3500 0.05378 120 85 28 7
1162 His book is wonderful, but it'll cost you an arm and a leg! 1.3500 0.06093 100 72 21 7
1163 Sales are down since you started bringing your pet to work 1.3500 0.06256 100 73 19 8
1164 Do you want that 3-hole punched or 2? 1.3500 0.06416 100 74 17 9
1165 i guess Amazon isnt the only reason people stopped going to bookstores 1.3500 0.05994 120 90 18 12
1166 He’s developed a separation anxiety during pandemic and now I have to take him to the office with me 1.3500 0.05162 140 101 29 10
1167 Him? The key to the bathroom is kept under his chin. 1.3494 0.06283 83 58 21 4
1168 "It's about his life after escaping from a boot design studio." 1.3492 0.05557 126 92 24 10
1169 He's a Florida Republican... he comes here to hide. 1.3492 0.05997 126 96 16 14
1170 Browse at your own risk. 1.3491 0.05850 106 76 23 7
1171 Yes, we specialize in books on predators, and this week we are featuring an interactive exhibit 1.3491 0.05850 106 76 23 7
1172 Relax. Only the ones raised wrong bite. 1.3491 0.05694 106 75 25 6
1173 She is trained to bite customers who check their phone to see if the book is cheaper online. 1.3488 0.06773 86 63 16 7
1174 Your choice. He'll bind up to six large books, or a dozen small volumes. 1.3488 0.05464 129 94 25 10
1175 No, really. He will see you later. 1.3488 0.06568 86 62 18 6
1176 Don't worry, he's just hungry for knowledge. 1.3488 0.06972 86 64 14 8
1177 I have a heck of a worker's comp bill, but theft is down by 87%! 1.3486 0.06026 109 80 20 9
1178 It's free with the purchase of ten golf shirts. 1.3485 0.05482 132 97 24 11
1179 Don’t worry, he’s stuffed. He’s been eating shoplifters. 1.3483 0.06210 89 63 21 5
1180 You said the last book you bought was a "croc" anyway. 1.3482 0.05910 112 82 21 9
1181 He comes loaded with a dozen books 1.3482 0.05772 112 81 23 8
1182 As a struggling independent bookstore, we can't afford electronic security. 1.3482 0.04781 112 77 32 3
1183 Back up slowly . . . he's looking at your shoes. 1.3482 0.06044 112 83 19 10
1184 On the other hand, shoplifting figures have plunged. 1.3481 0.05291 135 98 27 10
1185 Well, he just lies there, unless you find a book, snap a picture of the isbn, order it online and then walk out the door saying ‘see your next week!’ 1.3478 0.06266 92 66 20 6
1186 Of course, most customers want to talk about the elephant in the room. 1.3478 0.05530 115 82 26 7
1187 He’s in charge of the remainders. 1.3478 0.05666 115 83 24 8
1188 He cried over your book and can't wait for the reading. 1.3475 0.05694 118 86 23 9
1189 We're trying to be more like Amazon. 1.3475 0.05943 118 88 19 11
1190 Shoplifters will be eaten. 1.3475 0.05819 118 87 21 10
1191 I'll never get used to Florida! 1.3475 0.05694 118 86 23 9
1192 He likes everybody. 1.3469 0.05998 98 70 22 6
1193 We've partnered with the Amazon. 1.3469 0.05447 98 67 28 3
1194 Oh, that's not our alligator. 1.3468 0.04997 124 86 33 5
1195 He helps me keep all transactions at arms length. 1.3468 0.05127 124 87 31 6
1196 Complaints are down 92% since we hired him. 1.3468 0.05844 124 93 19 12
1197 He is promoting his new memoir, FAREWELL TO ARMS." Lloyd Berkowitz, Boca Raton, F 1.3465 0.06204 101 74 19 8
1198 I’m here for the ‘gay tour’, although I may have misread the sign 1.3465 0.06204 101 74 19 8
1199 So I told my bookstore owner that Crocs were back in style... 1.3465 0.05169 127 90 30 7
1200 He's hardcover. 1.3462 0.06375 104 78 16 10
1201 Now,may I read you our return policy 1.3462 0.05204 130 93 29 8
1202 Our Nature section now includes some exciting interactive materials. 1.3458 0.06383 107 81 15 11
1203 Oh Fluffy's still here, just watch the teeth when he opens to let you pet her. 1.3457 0.06840 81 59 16 6
1204 People think twice about wearing alligator shoes in this store. 1.3457 0.07062 81 60 14 7
1205 He eats more than your average security system, but shoplifting is way down. 1.3457 0.06611 81 58 18 5
1206 They’re trying to build on his swamp, so he’s reading up on eminent domain. 1.3457 0.06611 81 58 18 5
1207 He's here to enforce our strict ban on the buying and selling of leather bound books. 1.3452 0.06222 84 59 21 4
1208 Sorry about him, I forgot the kennel would be closed today. 1.3451 0.05729 113 82 23 8
1209 She ate the cat, but she's a good mouser. 1.3451 0.05999 113 84 19 10
1210 Sorry, the sitter cancelled last minute. 1.3451 0.05999 113 84 19 10
1211 No, sir, we do not stock THE ART OF THE DEAL. Perhaps we could offer you something less reptilian? 1.3448 0.07094 87 66 12 9
1212 Watch it. He’ll take your left one this time. 1.3448 0.06707 87 64 16 7
1213 Don’t worry, his tears aren’t real. 1.3448 0.06504 87 63 18 6
1214 Hello, Mr. Wormsley. I remind you, once again...do NOT pet Sam while you're browsing. 1.3445 0.04455 119 86 28 5
1215 I hired him on a blind recommendation. They said he was high up the food chain at Amazon. 1.3445 0.05526 119 86 25 8
1216 His snark is worse than his bite 1.3445 0.05526 119 86 25 8
1217 Don’t mind him, he’s a vegan 1.3435 0.05171 131 94 29 8
1218 He only bites if you are pretentious. 1.3434 0.06285 99 73 18 8
1219 The author is inside. 1.3431 0.06308 102 76 17 9
1220 No credit cards; but we take capybaras." 1.3431 0.05828 102 73 23 6
1221 DeSantis sent him to make sure no one here wears a mask. 1.3431 0.05992 102 74 21 7
1222 So… your order of ‘Roald Dahl’s Enormous Crocodile’ came in… 1.3431 0.05828 102 73 23 6
1223 Merchandising for the new Hiaasen novel 1.3431 0.05225 137 100 27 10
1224 She liked your right arm, but she'd prefer your left with fava beans and a nice chianti. 1.3429 0.05552 105 74 26 5
1225 It's our new return policy. 1.3429 0.06026 105 77 20 8
1226 He ate a customer who said 'later gator' . Otherwise he's very friendly. 1.3429 0.05872 105 76 22 7
1227 On the other hand, the leather bound editions always take more care. 1.3429 0.05872 105 76 22 7
1228 NO Petting! I warned you last time!!!!!Do you want to lose the other arm???? 1.3423 0.05934 111 82 20 9
1229 I see that you've already tried to pet him. 1.3423 0.06070 111 83 18 10
1230 Shall I shelve it under "a" or "c" 1.3423 0.05504 111 79 26 6
1231 I’d like to tell you all the books in here are fantastic…but that’s just a croc. 1.3423 0.06070 111 83 18 10
1232 Ignore your first impulse. Just say goodbye. 1.3421 0.05822 114 84 21 9
1233 You're safe. He liked your last review. 1.3421 0.05548 114 82 25 7
1234 I guess it's later. 1.3419 0.05967 117 88 18 11
1235 It's only when he cries that I'm sure we're in fiction. 1.3418 0.07619 79 61 9 9
1236 This must be the banned book section. 1.3415 0.05636 123 91 22 10
1237 Um, I think you should leave now, sir. He’s smelled your Kindle. 1.3413 0.05423 126 92 25 9
1238 He's friendly. 1.3412 0.06385 85 61 19 5
1239 Even he’s trying to escape Florida 1.3412 0.06809 85 63 15 7
1240 Alligator shoes are not a good fashion choice in this store. 1.3411 0.05220 129 93 28 8
1241 We buy used books, DVDs, CD,s collectible print media, dogs, cats other small mammals. 1.3411 0.05557 129 96 22 11
1242 The pet store was out of cats 1.3411 0.05335 129 94 26 9
1243 These days, we put all of our political books under "Crock." 1.3409 0.07024 88 67 12 9
1244 He is a visiting critic. 1.3409 0.06236 88 63 20 5
1245 Where does a 600-lb crocodile sit? Yep, you got it. 1.3409 0.06642 88 65 16 7
1246 Those books are on reserve 1.3409 0.06442 88 64 18 6
1247 Please respect our ten minute browsing guideline if you value that forearm. 1.3407 0.04837 135 95 34 6
1248 No Bill, I ordered a crock pot! 1.3407 0.06485 91 67 17 7
1249 If you're looking for an immersive read, he's not hard to get into. 1.3407 0.06096 91 65 21 5
1250 We accept cash, credit or chicken meat 1.3407 0.05893 91 64 23 4
1251 Why do you ask? Are you a literary critic? 1.3404 0.06515 94 70 16 8
1252 He enforces our 'No reading until you buy' policy. 1.3404 0.06515 94 70 16 8
1253 It’s been a while, hasn’t it? 1.3404 0.06515 94 70 16 8
1254 Predatory publishing. Just when you think it can’t get any worse… 1.3402 0.06198 97 71 19 7
1255 Every copy comes with a free alligator. 1.3402 0.06022 97 70 21 6
1256 Looks like someone snapped up all the remaining copies. 1.3402 0.05841 97 69 23 5
1257 It’s been really hard to find employees. 1.3402 0.05261 97 66 29 2
1258 Too many people were treating this store like a library." 1.3400 0.06231 100 74 18 8
1259 The negative reviews have mostly stopped. 1.3400 0.05724 100 71 24 5
1260 Yes, he’s a rescue. But I also think he rescued me 1.3400 0.06231 100 74 18 8
1261 I'm changing the name to ALLIGATOR BOOKS. He made me an offer I couldn't refuse. 1.3398 0.05781 103 74 23 6
1262 It also comes in a vegan, faux leather-bound edition. 1.3398 0.05614 103 73 25 5
1263 Yes he’s my gator aide, and no I don’t see what’s so funny about that. 1.3396 0.06126 106 79 18 9
1264 He's leftover from the days when folks liked their books leatherbound. 1.3396 0.05509 106 75 26 5
1265 You tell him you want it alligator bound. 1.3396 0.05978 106 78 20 8
1266 this way, when I tidy up, I don't need a shredder! 1.3396 0.05669 106 76 24 6
1267 You’re first in line for his book signing. 1.3394 0.05249 109 76 29 4
1268 Because lots of customers told me that half of what I'll selling is a croc, I decided to get a real one so that they will be able to discern the difference. 1.3394 0.05487 109 80 22 7
1269 This paperweight is also a staple remover. 1.3393 0.05609 112 81 24 7
1270 He did in fact see the alligator later. 1.3393 0.05680 112 84 19 9
1271 Shall we ring this one up as non-fiction Action & Adventure, or Horror? 1.3391 0.05368 115 82 27 6
1272 That's Zack. He emerged from a children's book and seems to like it here. 1.3391 0.05778 115 85 21 9
1273 He gets bored with the classics. 1.3391 0.05150 115 83 26 6
1274 Are you here for the poetry feeding? 1.3391 0.05368 115 82 27 6
1275 Are you vaccinated? 1.3391 0.05778 115 85 21 9
1276 Don't believe its tears. It's not sorry for anything it does. 1.3386 0.05725 127 96 19 12
1277 Buy one book get a free alligator. 1.3383 0.05325 133 98 25 10
1278 We think of it as the ultimate pop-up book. 1.3381 0.04849 139 99 33 7
1279 Readers are asking for titles with more bite. 1.3377 0.06820 77 56 16 5
1280 We've had to tighten up security lately 1.3374 0.04784 163 120 31 12
1281 Here for the Peter Pan book signing? 1.3372 0.05874 86 60 23 3
1282 You said you wanted something sharp and incisive. 1.3372 0.05874 86 60 23 3
1283 It's part of a new, fully immersive storytelling experience. 1.3372 0.05636 86 59 25 2
1284 I assumed Bezo's final takeover play would be more subtle." 1.3372 0.06322 86 62 19 5
1285 No worries. He’s vegan. 1.3370 0.05840 92 65 23 4
1286 As you can see, he has a hard time letting go of the leather-bound ones. 1.3368 0.06957 95 74 10 11
1287 Our hole punch is in the shop. 1.3367 0.06638 98 75 13 10
1288 He's an eco-friendly shredder. 1.3367 0.05792 98 70 23 5
1289 She heard it was a good place to meet men. 1.3367 0.05971 98 71 21 6
1290 I’d heard the urban legends, but ... I only left the toilet seat up for a minute! 1.3367 0.06144 98 72 19 7
1291 Literacy isn't the only thing that's been flushed down the toilet. 1.3366 0.05128 101 74 22 5
1292 The consultant said we needed an Amazon vibe. 1.3366 0.06337 101 76 16 9
1293 Now might be a good time to tell you about our return policy. 1.3366 0.05849 101 73 22 6
1294 I bought him 20 years ago to make a wallet, but in the end, I didn't have it in me. 1.3366 0.05677 101 72 24 5
1295 He'll be reading from his tell-all book about his time in the Trump administration at 5. 1.3365 0.05895 104 76 21 7
1296 It says "Buy one, get half off". 1.3365 0.06203 104 78 17 9
1297 He moonlights as the Times book critic. 1.3365 0.05734 104 75 23 6
1298 He’s quite docile; just be sure not to say ‘B-E-Z-O-S.’ 1.3365 0.05895 104 76 21 7
1299 That one will tear at your heart. 1.3364 0.06077 107 80 18 9
1300 He tells everyone goodbye. He’s our, See You Later Alligator. 1.3364 0.05625 107 77 24 6
1301 He's reading you. 1.3364 0.05522 110 79 25 6
1302 The cat got to be too much trouble. 1.3364 0.05816 110 81 21 8
1303 Yes, same! I also thought it was crocodiles who love fiction, but it turns out it’s alligators. 1.3364 0.06096 110 83 17 10
1304 Everyone says it's all consuming. 1.3364 0.05816 110 81 21 8
1305 I'm sorry, you'll have to return the giraffe before you check out the alligator. 1.3363 0.06108 113 86 16 11
1306 He's the book rep from Amazon 1.3362 0.06115 116 89 15 12
1307 Don’t be nervous. He’s just a gator-aide. 1.3361 0.05633 119 88 22 9
1308 It's the latest from the Amazon. 1.3361 0.05284 122 88 27 7
1309 Yes, this is the original alligator skin bound collector's edition. 1.3361 0.05535 122 90 23 9
1310 This book will cost an arm and a leg 1.3361 0.05535 122 90 23 9
1311 No, he’s harmless, but he sure keeps the people who read for free from staying too long 1.3361 0.05411 122 89 25 8
1312 The line's bound to get longer. He's full now. 1.3360 0.05199 125 90 28 7
1313 Yes, we used to have bookstore cats. Not sure what happened to them. 1.3360 0.05441 125 92 24 9
1314 He became an author instead of a pair of shoes. 1.3359 0.05351 128 94 25 9
1315 Amazing how loitering has dropped off with my therapy pet in the store, 1.3359 0.05038 131 94 30 7
1316 He's a mouser. 1.3357 0.04821 140 100 33 7
1317 He checks everyone's shoes. 1.3333 0.05800 114 85 20 9
1318 Well, thrillers are selling quite well 1.3333 0.05664 114 84 22 8
1319 As our slogan says, "Something for everyone. 1.3333 0.07187 75 56 13 6
1320 If you don’t snap it up now, he will. 1.3333 0.05912 90 64 22 4
1321 It is part of a new DIY series, “Luggage for Dummies.” 1.3333 0.06704 90 68 14 8
1322 He's my Therapy Reptile. So far, so good... 1.3333 0.06365 93 69 17 7
1323 Its and astonishing autobiography of how she escaped life underground in an urban sewer system to become a published author. 1.3333 0.06179 93 68 19 6
1324 You say you want a book about reptiles? My assistant Al here can help you. 1.3333 0.05383 114 82 26 6
1325 We don’t believe n leather bound editions. 1.3333 0.06185 84 60 20 4
1326 You can't tell a book by its cover. 1.3333 0.05911 111 83 19 9
1327 Only way to get Floridians into bookstores. 1.3333 0.06495 78 56 18 4
1328 I was the cowriter, but they were essentially his ideas. 1.3333 0.06989 78 58 14 6
1329 I know how it looks but he is actually a bookworm. 1.3333 0.05912 90 64 22 4
1330 Sorry, what were you saying about an e-book? 1.3333 0.05966 102 75 20 7
1331 Where do you think the cat went? 1.3333 0.06932 75 55 15 5
1332 No, it’s an alligator. I couldn’t justify the insurance on a crocodile. 1.3333 0.05861 96 69 22 5
1333 He's from a promotion we ran last week called 'Eat the Author'. 1.3333 0.05563 117 86 23 8
1334 After Fluffy passed away, I wanted an emotional support animal that would keep strangers at a safe distance. 1.3333 0.06171 108 82 16 10
1335 We find him much more interesting than a pet cat. 1.3333 0.05800 114 85 20 9
1336 My grandmother sent him to me from Florida when I was in the sixth grade. 1.3333 0.06732 96 74 12 10
1337 Turns out classical literature on its belly puts it to sleep faster than rubbing it. 1.3333 0.05849 123 94 17 12
1338 That one is his favorite. Can I help you find something else? 1.3333 0.05847 105 77 21 7
1339 Don’t worry. We have him tested every week. 1.3333 0.06365 93 69 17 7
1340 He ate our guard cat so we let him have the job. 1.3333 0.06283 102 77 16 9
1341 No, he doesn't read, but he feeds on readers. 1.3333 0.06391 75 53 19 3
1342 He can sniff out an Amazon customer as soon as they walk in the door. 1.3333 0.07187 75 56 13 6
1343 If you're looking to make a snap decision on a gift, this is your section 1.3333 0.05688 105 76 23 6
1344 I never wanted to hire a crocodile but it just kept crying and crying after the interview 1.3333 0.05664 114 84 22 8
1345 Turns out you there are some things you can’t buy on Amazon. 1.3333 0.05631 102 73 24 5
1346 It's a real nail biter. 1.3333 0.06675 87 65 15 7
1347 We have a new return and exchange policy, sir. 1.3333 0.05627 111 81 23 7
1348 I think you misunderstood me, I asked for the recipes section - looking for croquembouche, not ‘croc on books’. 1.3333 0.06126 102 76 18 8
1349 No, you read that right. The self-help books on this table are indeed free. Provided you get them yourself. 1.3333 0.06046 96 70 20 6
1350 He only bites if your the type to fold the corner as a bookmark 1.3333 0.06704 90 68 14 8
1351 This place really does cost an arm and a leg. 1.3333 0.06365 93 69 17 7
1352 ‘Lyle will be here Friday’s all month from noon to 3p for signings. Please bring your own pen.’ #lylethecrocodile 1.3333 0.06804 81 60 15 6
1353 The health department said no more cats so this is second best for rat control 1.3333 0.05671 96 68 24 4
1354 Just make sure you say bye to him before you go. 1.3333 0.05932 114 86 18 10
1355 No. The sign is correct. This is a boo store. 1.3307 0.05483 127 95 22 10
1356 So, professor... Ready for another biting satire? 1.3306 0.05299 121 88 26 7
1357 He was cheaper than a full alarm system. 1.3305 0.05114 118 84 29 5
1358 during this pandemic, nothing makes sense anymore. 1.3304 0.05200 115 82 28 5
1359 You ordered the genuine leather-bound edition of 'Jaws' didn't you? 1.3304 0.06001 112 85 17 10
1360 I ordered her off Amazon! 1.3304 0.05289 112 80 27 5
1361 Our regular security is on vacation. 1.3303 0.05538 109 79 24 6
1362 Actually he only eats Trump books. 1.3303 0.05538 109 79 24 6
1363 Good help is hard to find. 1.3303 0.05690 109 80 22 7
1364 Keep saying, 'See you later,' and you won't. 1.3303 0.05837 109 81 20 8
1365 It’s OK. She’s a rescue 1.3303 0.05837 109 81 20 8
1366 The 'No Browsing' sign was an insufficient deterent. 1.3302 0.06102 106 80 17 9
1367 We could customize a leather bound addition. 1.3302 0.05315 106 75 27 4
1368 He won't move until someone says, "In a while..." to him. 1.3301 0.05586 103 74 24 5
1369 Ali’s mouth curved up ever so slightly. Her plan to blend in with the leather-bound books was working perfectly. Soon…SOON…the power of her corporate takeover machinations would surpass that of her rival, Bodega Cat. 1.3300 0.06039 100 74 19 7
1370 Going forward there will be an extra charge for all Amazon special orders. 1.3300 0.05695 100 72 23 5
1371 He's for sale if you need to buy something from the Amazon. 1.3300 0.05515 100 71 25 4
1372 Yea,we have a little issue with people reading books in the aisles and not buying anything. 1.3300 0.05695 100 72 23 5
1373 Don’t worry… he’s just a voracious reader. 1.3300 0.05870 100 73 21 6
1374 He’s endangered too. 1.3300 0.06039 100 74 19 7
1375 It was just a cost effective hire to protect our first editions. 1.3299 0.05993 97 71 20 6
1376 Bookstore cats were getting so blasé. 1.3299 0.05811 97 70 22 5
1377 So, how’d you use your Stimulus check? 1.3299 0.06169 97 72 18 7
1378 Just keep walking, it's rude to stare. 1.3299 0.05718 97 72 19 6
1379 His business is failing,but he’s in de Nile. 1.3298 0.06123 94 69 19 6
1380 He's been insufferable since he met David Attenbourough. 1.3297 0.06454 91 68 16 7
1381 Our business is underwater, why not take a few straggling readers down with us? 1.3297 0.06640 91 69 14 8
1382 He likes books he can sink his teeth into. 1.3295 0.06201 88 64 19 5
1383 You’re aware, of course, that Crocodile Dundee is his pen name! 1.3295 0.05987 88 63 21 4
1384 He’s just waiting to hear you say “see you later.” 1.3294 0.06775 85 64 14 7
1385 Apparently, National Geographic is now sending bonus gifts with every reorder. 1.3293 0.06953 82 62 13 7
1386 The laundromat got the Labrador. 1.3291 0.06168 79 56 20 3
1387 It's safe to pet him if you suspend your disbelief. 1.3291 0.07143 79 60 12 7
1388 He's the only thing I've ever gotten from Amazon. 1.3289 0.07105 76 57 13 6
1389 Just don't say ' well, I'll get it on line'. 1.3289 0.06593 76 55 17 4
1390 He got deep into Kafka -- and Peter Pan. 1.3289 0.07105 76 57 13 6
1391 Well, we used to have a problem with children loitering. 1.3289 0.06854 76 56 15 5
1392 There was a typo in our ‘Store Greeter’ job description. 1.3289 0.07105 76 57 13 6
1393 Relax, he’s our emotional support animal. 1.3281 0.05446 128 96 22 10
1394 We sell alligator books, alligator boots are two stores down, but you probably shouldn't ask that question again.. 1.3280 0.05178 125 91 27 7
1395 We have a firm anti-piracy policy. 1.3280 0.05421 125 93 23 9
1396 I always forget if its an alligator or a crocodile 1.3277 0.05483 119 88 23 8
1397 We couldn't decide if it belongs under the 'A section' or the 'C section' 1.3274 0.05684 113 84 21 8
1398 We have to compete. Does Amazon have a book gator? I think not! 1.3273 0.05342 110 79 26 5
1399 Before I had shoplifting. Now I have security but no business" 1.3273 0.05496 110 80 24 6
1400 I dunno, one morning she was lying here instead of the cat. 1.3273 0.05646 110 81 22 7
1401 He goes straight for the appendix. 1.3271 0.06053 107 81 17 9
1402 Don’t worry. They only attack when you make eye cont- . . . uh-oh. 1.3271 0.05439 107 77 25 5
1403 Sorry. She’s in an unusually long trance-like state. Signings are pushed to four. 1.3271 0.05754 107 79 21 7
1404 Do you have an Amazon account sir? 1.3271 0.05677 107 81 18 8
1405 The recession forced us to rethink our late fee policy. 1.3271 0.05439 107 77 25 5
1406 Your wife will be fully digested by Friday. Come back then. 1.3269 0.06178 104 79 16 9
1407 It’s always ‘Later, gator.” Never, “Bye, Stan, nice seeing ya! 1.3269 0.05707 104 76 22 6
1408 Is this later or after a while? 1.3269 0.05541 104 75 24 5
1409 We close in five — make it snappy. 1.3269 0.05370 104 74 26 4
1410 You said you wanted something that would tear your heart out? 1.3267 0.05821 101 74 21 6
1411 Amazon might have it. Let's ask George. He's from there. 1.3267 0.05470 101 72 25 4
1412 What? 1.3267 0.06310 101 77 15 9
1413 The tails of Edgar Alligator Poe 1.3267 0.05648 101 73 23 5
1414 This is the cold hearted non-fiction section 1.3267 0.06151 101 76 17 8
1415 At first he was a mascot, now he's in loss prevention. 1.3267 0.05821 101 74 21 6
1416 We used to have a cat, too. 1.3265 0.05941 98 72 20 6
1417 Don't worry. He's still full from the last person who came in and browsed for too long. 1.3265 0.05761 98 71 22 5
1418 No it’s odd, my bookstore cat seems to have disappeared.” 1.3265 0.05941 98 72 20 6
1419 A parting gift from Jeff Bezos 1.3265 0.05576 98 70 24 4
1420 They’re bookends and come in pairs. Interested? 1.3263 0.06250 95 71 17 7
1421 Shoplifting used to be a problem here. 1.3261 0.06203 92 68 18 6
1422 Sally here is great at cutting down on shop lifting. 1.3261 0.06577 92 70 14 8
1423 He's harmless. He's been remaindered. 1.3258 0.06924 89 69 11 9
1424 Some bookstores have cats. We're different. 1.3258 0.04368 132 96 31 5
1425 Like a bookstore cat, but with bigger teeth and a worse attitude. 1.3256 0.06500 86 64 16 6
1426 We ordered him from Amazon. 1.3256 0.06500 86 64 16 6
1427 Cash, credit, or fingers? 1.3256 0.06908 86 66 12 8
1428 The good news is we have a copy. The bad news: it’s under his paw. 1.3250 0.06602 80 59 16 5
1429 Welcome to Bellingham,Washington, the city of subdued excitement. 1.3250 0.06104 80 57 20 3
1430 I’ve been swamped this week. 1.3250 0.06104 80 57 20 3
1431 First edition binding hole punch. Interested? 1.3248 0.05540 117 87 22 8
1432 “He’s our second-hand expert” 1.3247 0.06253 77 55 19 3
1433 I've got news for you, we're not selling any of these books. 1.3246 0.05359 114 83 25 6
1434 I hear your point,but your competition is Amazon,Steve. Not THE Amazon 1.3246 0.05502 114 84 23 7
1435 Are you promoting Ruth Heller’s How to Hide a Crocodile?🐊 1.3243 0.05302 111 80 26 5
1436 He guards the first editions 1.3243 0.05602 111 82 22 7
1437 We've had a recent surge in thefts... 1.3241 0.05555 108 79 23 6
1438 Yea, I was looking for a pair of crocs? 1.3238 0.05661 105 77 22 6
1439 You'd be amazed how many people confuse antiquarian and aquarium." [Two terms in roman type 1.3238 0.05820 105 78 20 7
1440 Red herring or Chekhov's gun? Great question! 1.3238 0.06127 105 80 16 9
1441 With unemployment money still flowing, he’s the only one who applied. 1.3235 0.05938 102 76 19 7
1442 We haven't had any shoplifting since hiring our new security gator. 1.3235 0.06099 102 77 17 8
1443 He recommends anything by Attenborough. 1.3235 0.05425 102 73 25 4
1444 I ordered the leatherbound exemplar from the wrong Amazon 1.3235 0.06099 102 77 17 8
1445 Are you being cheeky? There's no elephant in the room 1.3235 0.06099 102 77 17 8
1446 We sell the finest, leather bound books on the market. 1.3235 0.06256 102 78 15 9
1447 He said he just wanted to get away from Governor Deathsantis. 1.3233 0.05500 133 102 19 12
1448 Well I put my “Help Wanted” sign out three weeks ago, and just when I was about to give up …..” 1.3232 0.06062 99 74 18 7
1449 The croc? He handles the Science and Nature section and also manages our credit department.... 1.3232 0.05529 99 71 24 4
1450 Not much shoplifting here lately. 1.3229 0.05829 96 70 21 5
1451 It makes for a good story. 1.3229 0.05829 96 70 21 5
1452 Our exotic leather-bound books are made to order. 1.3229 0.06194 96 72 17 7
1453 The critics called your book a "crock", and the publisher sent this leather-bound edition! 1.3226 0.05953 93 68 20 5
1454 He is looking for a man with a missing right arm who tried to steal his clock! 1.3226 0.05953 93 68 20 5
1455 Are those alligator shoes you're wearing? 1.3226 0.05753 93 67 22 4
1456 Well, we used to have a cat, but he was a book cover rescue. 1.3226 0.05953 93 68 20 5
1457 I ordered an crock pot with an analogue display, so they sent me a crocodile 1.3226 0.05557 124 94 20 10
1458 Here's your copy of "In Cold Blood". 1.3226 0.06146 93 69 18 6
1459 Well, this is actually the display model. 1.3226 0.06334 93 70 16 7
1460 Don't worry she's stuffed. She ate the last person who asked a stupid question only an hour ago. 1.3223 0.05775 121 93 17 11
1461 We had a cat - it wasn't very nice. 1.3223 0.05406 121 90 23 8
1462 The 'plump-cat-dozing-in-the-window' thing was getting pretty passe. 1.3222 0.06085 90 66 19 5
1463 Apparently, he uses the pseudonym, Al Gator. 1.3220 0.05367 118 87 24 7
1464 She is also endangered. 1.3220 0.04945 118 84 30 4
1465 He's actually friendlier than the cat. 1.3218 0.06436 87 65 16 6
1466 See what happens when you tell him you're just browsing for things to download on your Kindle. 1.3218 0.06640 87 66 14 7
1467 You're safe without a mask. He's vaccinated. 1.3217 0.05733 115 87 19 9
1468 Don't worry. He's a pussycat. 1.3214 0.06595 84 63 15 6
1469 He prefers the erudition of New York to the perdition of Florida. 1.3214 0.05906 84 60 21 3
1470 He's been on clearance for 50 years. 1.3214 0.05560 112 83 22 7
1471 They said bookstores were going the way of the dinosaurs. 1.3211 0.05512 109 80 23 6
1472 We’ve adopted a new security policy with some real teeth. 1.3210 0.06533 81 60 16 5
1473 Don't worry. He's shy around bookworms. 1.3210 0.06765 81 61 14 6
1474 Oh, Lyle? He's my emotional support animal. 1.3205 0.06947 78 59 13 6
1475 Oh, that’s Carl. He’s our new Social Distancing Ambassador. 1.3205 0.07183 78 60 11 7
1476 He likes shoplifters, but we haven't seen one since we got him. 1.3204 0.05202 103 73 27 3
1477 The good thing about them is they don’t bark or scratch the furniture. 1.3204 0.05556 103 75 23 5
1478 He heard me talking about Captain Hook and basically followed me here" 1.3204 0.05888 103 77 19 7
1479 We have a very strict return policy. 1.3200 0.06010 100 75 18 7
1480 Florida NEVER gets my order right". 1.3200 0.07143 75 57 12 6
1481 I was informed by my Liverpudlian friend that you do an excellent croque en bouche 1.3200 0.06886 75 56 14 5
1482 Don't worry. It ate 3 weeks ago. 1.3197 0.05109 122 89 27 6
1483 No Returns. 1.3196 0.05961 97 72 19 6
1484 At first, it was,“See you later…” 1.3196 0.05778 97 71 21 5
1485 See you later? I just walked in! 1.3196 0.06139 97 73 17 7
1486 He comes with every purchase of Steve Irwin’s biography 1.3196 0.06311 97 74 15 8
1487 Don’t say ‘see ya later.’ She’ll snap. 1.3196 0.06139 97 73 17 7
1488 He's there to provide the five finger discount 1.3196 0.05961 97 72 19 6
1489 Don't need to worry, it is Bring-Your-Pet-To-Work day. 1.3196 0.05589 97 70 23 4
1490 Where did the cat go? 1.3196 0.05589 97 70 23 4
1491 Should I pay later or in a while? 1.3196 0.05778 97 71 21 5
1492 I’m more of a book worm myself 1.3194 0.07355 72 55 11 6
1493 He came with the shipment of the new Rene Lacoste biography. 1.3194 0.07084 72 54 13 5
1494 I know my ad asked for a “litigator,” but he was here first. 1.3194 0.07084 72 54 13 5
1495 It’s like having my dog at work, since Allie ate it. 1.3193 0.05589 119 90 20 9
1496 Slip your returns into the alligator, please. 1.3193 0.05328 119 88 24 7
1497 ‘What happened to the elephant in the room?’ 1.3193 0.05838 119 92 16 11
1498 I'll read it and then my associate will chew on it for a while. 1.3191 0.05601 94 70 19 5
1499 Oh, that's Wally. He interfaces with self-published authors inquiring whether we would like to display their new novel. 1.3191 0.06275 94 71 16 7
1500 We haven't had any books stolen since he joined our staff. 1.3191 0.06090 94 70 18 6
1501 Is everything a caiman? 1.3191 0.06090 94 70 18 6
1502 It's the staff's recommendation for a Thriller. 1.3190 0.05421 116 86 23 7
1503 I had to diversify my business model. 1.3190 0.05557 116 87 21 8
1504 We believe that mask mandates and crocodile restrictions violate our freedoms. 1.3187 0.06227 91 68 17 6
1505 Back in while"? I think you'll find you mean "See y'later" 1.3187 0.06420 91 69 15 7
1506 This is the closest I could get to compete with Amazon. 1.3187 0.05822 91 66 21 4
1507 Watch out if you open the long green book! 1.3187 0.05822 91 66 21 4
1508 We had to beef up security after the launch of that political satire. 1.3187 0.06028 91 67 19 5
1509 Small talk is at an all-time low since I got him 1.3187 0.05822 91 66 21 4
1510 "He's a voracious reader. Also eater. 1.3186 0.05518 113 84 22 7
1511 It's okay, he's stuffed. So he won't be hungry for a while. 1.3182 0.05909 110 84 17 9
1512 His name is Al. No, you can’t pet him. 1.3182 0.06164 88 65 18 5
1513 It’s called Amazon Primal. 1.3178 0.05879 107 81 18 8
1514 Disney started releasing live action storybooks and the new Peter Pan just came in 1.3178 0.05410 107 78 24 5
1515 The Lacoste fall collection came in. 1.3176 0.06739 85 65 13 7
1516 He and Zora Hurston are the only native floridians that have ever actually been in a bookstore. 1.3173 0.05511 104 76 23 5
1517 Here for the Jungle Book reading this afternoon? 1.3173 0.05677 104 77 21 6
1518 Not what I thought they meant by Leatherback sale... 1.3173 0.05840 104 78 19 7
1519 His book tour is over but he still wants to stay in touch with the public 1.3168 0.05252 101 72 26 3
1520 He came with the book you ordered How to identify crocodiles & alligators 1.3168 0.05959 101 76 18 7
1521 Why order from amazon when you can feel like you're in the Amazon? 1.3168 0.05060 101 71 28 2
1522 Got desperate for publicity 1.3168 0.06123 101 77 16 8
1523 Spike is hypoallergenic and allergy friendly but can be a bit bitey if you scratch his belly 1.3168 0.05437 101 73 24 4
1524 Some say we're both nothing more than living dinosaurs. 1.3168 0.05617 101 74 22 5
1525 No one kvetches about allergies any more. 1.3167 0.05421 120 90 22 8
1526 Remember when they were draining the swamp? 1.3167 0.05019 120 87 28 5
1527 Don't worry. He won't bite. 1.3165 0.06381 79 58 17 4
1528 Not now, I'm swamped. 1.3165 0.06381 79 58 17 4
1529 Crikey mate, she's just here to validate your parking. 1.3163 0.05909 98 73 19 6
1530 That copy is unavailable. I'm afraid his mother is on the cover. 1.3163 0.05728 98 72 21 5
1531 It's a crocodile. But let me double check... I 'm sorry, it's an alligator. 1.3163 0.05909 98 73 19 6
1532 He wrote The Swamp Has Been Drained, it's political satire. 1.3162 0.05242 117 86 25 6
1533 Finally, a marketing gimmick that Amazon can't mimic. 1.3162 0.05100 117 85 27 5
1534 It’s drain the swamp day. All corruption books are one half off. 1.3158 0.05616 114 86 20 8
1535 He came over from Amazon... 1.3158 0.07542 76 60 8 8
1536 It’s okay. She’s inoculated. 1.3158 0.07061 76 58 12 6
1537 Why don't you ask him about the cat? 1.3158 0.05652 95 69 22 4
1538 Spare me the alligator jokes, I've heard them all 1.3158 0.06218 95 72 16 7
1539 I see you’ve found our thriller section 1.3158 0.05450 95 68 24 3
1540 Business really went down once Lacoste ate up Penguin. 1.3158 0.06396 95 73 14 8
1541 And no, you will not see her later, sir, she is a crocodile. Good day. 1.3158 0.05616 114 86 20 8
1542 Don’t mind Gary, he doesn’t like the taste of paying customers 1.3153 0.05196 111 83 22 6
1543 We used to have a cat but she was too mean. 1.3152 0.06359 92 70 15 7
1544 I'll give you a hint: you'll " see him later", not "in a while". 1.3152 0.06359 92 70 15 7
1545 He's here just to enforce our no-returns policy. 1.3152 0.06545 92 71 13 8
1546 Will I see you later or in awhile? 1.3152 0.06169 92 69 17 6
1547 lost his job at gator world when the pandemic struck so we hired him as part time security. 1.3151 0.06723 73 54 15 4
1548 Just in case you're not vaccinated.. 1.3151 0.07267 73 56 11 6
1549 Here is the "it's-cheaper-on-amazon" complaint box, sir. 1.3151 0.07000 73 55 13 5
1550 By the looks of your hand,you have met Gus here.... 1.3151 0.07524 73 57 9 7
1551 He won't let you look at those books about draining the swamp. 1.3151 0.07000 73 55 13 5
1552 Now that I'm back to work, Princess was feeling lonely at home. 1.3148 0.05527 108 80 22 6
1553 Were you the one who called about alligator leather bound books? I wanted my embosser to hear. 1.3148 0.05527 108 80 22 6
1554 When we moved the store to Florida, we decided to change up the cat thing. 1.3148 0.05368 108 79 24 5
1555 You're sure this is the draft you want to submit? Because she's only going to read it once. 1.3146 0.06311 89 67 16 6
1556 If you want it bound in leather, he’s your choice. 1.3146 0.06510 89 68 14 7
1557 It's a quick read 1.3146 0.06311 89 67 16 6
1558 He's harmless, just don't read more than a chapter without buying it. 1.3143 0.05792 105 79 19 7
1559 Just don’t tell him, ‘See ya later!’ 1.3143 0.06100 105 81 15 9
1560 Any books with snappy titles? 1.3143 0.05792 105 79 19 7
1561 She just loved “ The First Timer’s Guide To Eating In New York City”. 1.3143 0.05466 105 77 23 5
1562 ...AND no more trouble with mice 1.3140 0.06024 86 63 19 4
1563 If you buy a national geographic book,we will throw in a free gatorade. 1.3140 0.06670 86 66 13 7
1564 Sorry, he just snapped up the last copy. 1.3140 0.06024 86 63 19 4
1565 He thinks self-help books are a croc of BS. 1.3140 0.05792 86 62 21 3
1566 Bathroom key is on the hook behind my friend, here... 1.3140 0.06670 86 66 13 7
1567 We are trying out a new promotion. A pair of croc's with each purchase over $20.00. 1.3137 0.06228 102 79 14 9
1568 We validate parking, not your opinion. 1.3137 0.06070 102 78 16 8
1569 No cash,no card. Limbs only. 1.3136 0.05607 118 90 19 9
1570 He just wandered in one day and we decided to keep him. 1.3133 0.05920 83 60 20 3
1571 Think of him as a moat for social distancing. 1.3133 0.06397 83 62 16 5
1572 He's here to sign copies of his new book, "See You Later" 1.3133 0.06164 83 61 18 4
1573 He thinks he’s a cat. As long as you use the correct nouns, he’s harmless. 1.3133 0.06397 83 62 16 5
1574 It's a leather bound edition. 1.3131 0.05679 99 73 21 5
1575 'They said you were a reliable dealer of vintage, rare and anti-aquarium books?' 1.3131 0.06031 99 75 17 7
1576 We've had a little hiccup in our 'Meet the Author' plans. 1.3131 0.06031 99 75 17 7
1577 Lacoste is sponsoring our new book collection, you see 1.3131 0.06031 99 75 17 7
1578 Sorry about your dog, but shoplifting is down 50% 1.3125 0.06057 80 58 19 3
1579 Says here an alligator escaped from the local zoo, but he keeps insisting his name is Larry and he's from Scarsdale. 1.3125 0.06559 80 60 15 5
1580 If you insist on leather binding, over here is our self-service station.” 1.3125 0.06796 80 61 13 6
1581 Don’t worry, he’s been fed. He just likes to stay up here and keep me company. Unless he likes your cologne. Then, worry.” 1.3125 0.05795 96 71 20 5
1582 We support swamp-to-market leather covers. 1.3125 0.06162 96 73 16 7
1583 Hopefully what you want is in the front row. 1.3125 0.05795 96 71 20 5
1584 Sorry, we discontinued alligator bindings since Lyle joined the staff. 1.3125 0.06057 80 58 19 3
1585 Sorry,we ordered from "The Amazon" by mistake. 1.3125 0.06337 96 74 14 8
1586 I asked for The Litigators, Kes. Get your ears checked. 1.3125 0.05953 112 87 15 10
1587 Sorry, but I had no place to go since they "drained the swamp" 1.3125 0.05386 112 83 23 6
1588 Well the elephant in the room died, and this is all they had in stock... 1.3125 0.05817 112 86 17 9
1589 Bookstore cats shed too much 1.3120 0.04875 125 91 29 5
1590 He’s from Miami, nothing fictional about him. 1.3120 0.05005 125 92 27 6
1591 Welcome to Florida. Where a gator owns a bookstore and I can’t read. 1.3119 0.05483 109 81 22 6
1592 My friend was just here buying a book. Where is he? 1.3119 0.05483 109 81 22 6
1593 She asked me for a book on the Everglades. I told her I'd order it. She said she'd wait. 1.3119 0.05636 109 82 20 7
1594 Someone broke into our shop last week so we had to hire an investi-gator 1.3119 0.05785 109 83 18 8
1595 what can I say? I like alliteration. 1.3119 0.05483 109 81 22 6
1596 She’s my emotional support animal. 1.3118 0.06111 93 70 17 6
1597 It has an intellectual taste. 1.3118 0.05716 93 68 21 4
1598 Now, slowly put the other hand in your pocket. 1.3118 0.05716 93 68 21 4
1599 This will help with business 1.3118 0.06300 93 71 15 7
1600 This one is really hard to put down once you pick it up! 1.3118 0.06111 93 70 17 6
1601 For those looking for a five finger discount. 1.3118 0.06111 93 70 17 6
1602 No sir there's no need to worry about crocodiles in the shop, alligators on the other hand... 1.3117 0.06732 77 58 14 5
1603 He lived on East 88th for years but the building went condo. 1.3117 0.06473 77 57 16 4
1604 Well, I loved your manuscript, but Fred is indifferent, so you might want to slowly back out of the store. 1.3117 0.06203 77 56 18 3
1605 We have a strict policy on reading without buying. 1.3115 0.05216 122 91 24 7
1606 The cat is on vacation and he's what the temp agency could offer. 1.3113 0.05423 106 78 23 5
1607 Would you like a alligator cover for your book, 1.3113 0.05744 106 80 19 7
1608 The New pop-up books are getting very realistic. 1.3113 0.05899 106 81 17 8
1609 If you mention you’ll buy a book on Amazon, I’ll sic him on you! 1.3113 0.05744 106 80 19 7
1610 He used to work at Amazon. 1.3111 0.06047 90 67 18 5
1611 It’s hard to judge a book by its cover when you can’t take your eyes off him. 1.3111 0.05837 90 66 20 4
1612 Our self help section is mostly a croc. 1.3111 0.06637 90 70 12 8
1613 The alarm system became unaffordable. 1.3111 0.06047 90 67 18 5
1614 We have a strict "No children" policy. 1.3111 0.05837 90 66 20 4
1615 Is this the wildlife section? 1.3111 0.06047 90 67 18 5
1616 We felt that Trump's autobiography should come with a big dose of reality. 1.3111 0.06047 90 67 18 5
1617 37 million years of evolution and they still can’t read. 1.3111 0.06047 90 67 18 5
1618 When you're running a book store, you want a Head of Security that doesn't yammer with the customers all day, and can hold a crook by the ankle while you're waiting for the cops to arrive. 1.3108 0.06645 74 55 15 4
1619 He doesn't just read them, he gobbles them up. 1.3108 0.06360 74 54 17 3
1620 I can't leave him home alone anymore. Turns out he prefers the taste of cat. 1.3108 0.06918 74 56 13 5
1621 There are just too many shelves to have an elephant in the room. 1.3108 0.06645 74 55 15 4
1622 You're good. He is just not trained to respect women. 1.3108 0.06645 74 55 15 4
1623 We decided to replace the complaint department with something more intimidating. 1.3108 0.07434 74 58 9 7
1624 The cat's in there somewhere. 1.3107 0.05858 103 78 18 7
1625 It's the next level entertainment experience. The story is "virtual," but the "reality" still bites! 1.3103 0.06185 87 65 17 5
1626 Sudden moves are OK, but no alligator-skin bookbinding jokes. 1.3103 0.05666 116 89 18 9
1627 Since outsourcing my reptilian brain I've been able to read the news again. 1.3103 0.06397 87 66 15 6
1628 I just couldn’t come back to work without him. 1.3103 0.05965 87 64 19 4
1629 Shop lifting is now 0. 1.3103 0.05736 87 63 21 3
1630 Free book with every alligator. 1.3103 0.05254 116 86 24 6
1631 I'd avoid the Reader's Digest section. 1.3100 0.06146 100 77 15 8
1632 He ate the store cat and then just kinda stuck around… 1.3100 0.05449 100 73 23 4
1633 He says he's here to protest reptile stereotypes. On the plus side, no one asks to use our bathroom anymore. 1.3100 0.05808 100 75 19 6
1634 ''He's snapping up new readers with his book signing!'' 1.3100 0.05894 100 78 14 8
1635 He only bites when someone says Kindle 1.3100 0.06146 100 77 15 8
1636 Don't bother if you're here to purchase, we've hired him to chase out the window shoppers. 1.3100 0.05631 100 74 21 5
1637 He just loves bookworms. 1.3099 0.07118 71 54 12 5
1638 Apparently, he prefers bookstores to the Amazons 1.3099 0.07118 71 54 12 5
1639 What, those? Those are his signed copies of 'In Cold Blood. 1.3099 0.07396 71 55 10 6
1640 Our sewers backed up 1.3099 0.07396 71 55 10 6
1641 We have a strict no-browsing policy. 1.3095 0.06554 84 64 14 6
1642 Of course the ticking is annoying, but even a great book needs a good hook. 1.3095 0.06101 84 62 18 4
1643 I don't know what happened to the cat. 1.3095 0.05611 84 60 22 2
1644 He says no refunds. 1.3095 0.05861 84 61 20 3
1645 The real Mr. Dundee is doing a book signing today. 1.3095 0.04211 126 95 26 5
1646 You mentioned Gatorade and made him a bit jumpy. 1.3095 0.06101 84 62 18 4
1647 It’s been hanging around since last week’s reading of Peter Pan. 1.3093 0.06106 97 74 16 7
1648 Those are rare indeed. But, they'll cost you an arm and a leg. 1.3093 0.06280 97 75 14 8
1649 You won't like how it ends. 1.3093 0.05744 97 72 20 5
1650 Well, sir, this IS Florida. 1.3091 0.05285 110 81 24 5
1651 She just transferred here from the Florida store, so the move to Vancouver has been an adjustment. But she does have a way with the young kids. 1.3091 0.05285 110 81 24 5
1652 Your special order came in. 1.3091 0.06023 110 86 14 10
1653 I heard Crocs are back 1.3091 0.05285 110 81 24 5
1654 He’s my emotional support pet. 1.3088 0.06375 68 49 17 2
1655 I handle first editions. He takes remainders. 1.3088 0.07030 68 51 13 4
1656 It's hard to compete with Amazon these days. 1.3086 0.05994 81 59 19 3
1657 He’s the only one who answered our ad for a security guard. 1.3086 0.06722 81 62 13 6
1658 It came with the Amazon shipment. 1.3086 0.06722 81 62 13 6
1659 That’s right. Most book stores have a cat. And this one used to. 1.3086 0.06489 81 61 15 5
1660 Shoplifting is down to zero, but so are sales. 1.3086 0.06489 81 61 15 5
1661 I can’t explain it. He almost always prefers the left arm. 1.3086 0.06722 81 62 13 6
1662 Ahem. We do accept tips now. No pressure though. 1.3086 0.06948 81 63 11 7
1663 Thank you for your purchase, Allie will now punch your frequent shoppers card. Go ahead, do it. 1.3085 0.05665 94 69 21 4
1664 We don't check vaccine status, require masking, or ban crocodiles. You want the government on your back, there's a Barns and Nobles down the street. 1.3085 0.06055 94 71 17 6
1665 Do you have any books on alligators?" "No, but we have this alligator on books... 1.3085 0.05863 94 70 19 5
1666 Are you here for the Peter Pan reenactment? 1.3085 0.05245 94 67 25 2
1667 Welcome to Lacoste Books. 1.3085 0.05765 94 72 16 6
1668 He’s here to sign his new cookbook, Tastes Like Chicken. 1.3084 0.05541 107 80 21 6
1669 Yes Mr. Jones, the book you ordered on Alligator Recipes is right over there and came with a free sample. 1.3083 0.05525 120 92 19 9
1670 Of course he's wild. That's his brother on your feet. 1.3083 0.04850 120 87 29 4
1671 The cat kept making lousy book recommendations. 1.3077 0.06402 78 58 16 4
1672 We did have a cat 1.3077 0.05343 91 65 24 2
1673 Don’t worry, it was just fed. 1.3077 0.05990 91 68 18 5
1674 It's one of those reads that get you in the end. 1.3077 0.06190 91 69 16 6
1675 The first editions are to my right. Some are so rare they will cost you an arm and a leg. 1.3077 0.05887 91 70 15 6
1676 Well sure, but we’ve lost so much walk-in business because of cat allergies. 1.3077 0.05647 104 78 20 6
1677 Sorry. He snaps at everybody. 1.3077 0.06402 78 58 16 4
1678 If you don’t like the book, no need to return it – – he will dispose of it for you. 1.3077 0.06903 78 60 12 6
1679 This is our new mystery section mascot, The Investi-gator 1.3077 0.05968 104 80 16 8
1680 She’s a Gatorcroc rescue from Florida. 1.3077 0.05990 91 68 18 5
1681 He's guarding first editions of Peter Pan 🐊 1.3077 0.05810 104 79 18 7
1682 I'd suggest putting your mask on 1.3077 0.06903 78 60 12 6
1683 He handles our customers' "Read Later" lists. 1.3077 0.06385 91 70 14 7
1684 I asked him if he read and he said he was voracious. 1.3070 0.05449 114 86 21 7
1685 I don't see it out here, let me go check the back. 1.3069 0.05927 101 77 17 7
1686 Just a side note, it's not an alligator, it's a crocodile. 1.3069 0.05583 101 75 21 5
1687 Do you want the leather binding or not? Or He's our ace in the hole for biting criticism. 1.3069 0.03654 101 81 15 5
1688 Your wife forgot her handbag. 1.3069 0.05311 101 76 20 5
1689 He knows a good book when he eats it 1.3069 0.05927 101 77 17 7
1690 Don't worry, he would never harm a book. He's a carnivore" 1.3069 0.06092 101 78 15 8
1691 Don't be nervous, we're fully vaccinated 1.3069 0.06253 101 79 13 9
1692 I think of him as my gator aid against shoplifters. 1.3068 0.06537 88 68 13 7
1693 The critics say his entire body of work is a croc. 1.3068 0.05907 88 65 19 4
1694 Our editor says your manuscript moved him to tears. He says he's been looking forward to meeting you ... maybe over lunch? 1.3068 0.06334 88 67 15 6
1695 It’s a new binding service we offer. 1.3068 0.05907 88 65 19 4
1696 It’s called Crocodiles for Dummies.” 1.3068 0.05907 88 65 19 4
1697 I’m sorry but your order is delayed. We’re swamped. 1.3068 0.05907 88 65 19 4
1698 New security has really cut down the five finger discounts. 1.3068 0.06537 88 68 13 7
1699 Well it worked for Lacoste 1.3067 0.06569 75 56 15 4
1700 Here’s a hint. He’ll see you later. 1.3067 0.06288 75 55 17 3
1701 He's friendlier than the cat, and fewer people are allergic to him. 1.3067 0.06569 75 56 15 4
1702 ‘Bookstore cats are so last century. I thought I’d try something new.’ 1.3067 0.06288 75 55 17 3
1703 Leather covers these days... 1.3063 0.04578 111 83 24 4
1704 The cat is no longer with us. 1.3061 0.05506 98 72 22 4
1705 Your new boots are almost ready, but it’s probably best you wait outside! That belt you’re wearing was his uncle… 1.3059 0.06700 85 66 12 7
1706 We are featuring books on Crocodylia this month and Albert wanted to be here. 1.3059 0.06040 85 63 18 4
1707 Shoplifting is a thing of the past 1.3059 0.05803 85 62 20 3
1708 It's our first and last "Bring Your Reptile to Work" day. 1.3058 0.05358 121 92 21 8
1709 Go ahead, that's the 20% off pile. 1.3056 0.06452 72 53 16 3
1710 To stay relevant, brick and mortar stores need to offer experiences you can't get online 1.3056 0.07032 72 55 12 5
1711 He ate the cat, so I made him chief mouser. 1.3056 0.05497 108 81 21 6
1712 We poached him from Amazon. 1.3056 0.06141 72 52 18 2
1713 They charge an arm and a leg for the New Yorker these days! 1.3056 0.06141 72 52 18 2
1714 Sorry, sir, but we require masks in our shop. 1.3053 0.05407 131 102 18 11
1715 Don't make a pun when you leave. He hates that. 1.3053 0.06000 95 72 17 6
1716 He's a rare edition." 1.3053 0.05810 95 71 19 5
1717 This one sorta came with the shop, but if you're interested, she just had kittens a few weeks ago. 1.3049 0.06420 82 62 15 5
1718 This Tick-Tock the Crocodile and it includes an alarm clock and a signed first-edition of Peter Pan. 1.3049 0.06873 82 64 11 7
1719 It's not a First Edition but a great facsimile. 1.3049 0.06420 82 62 15 5
1720 Sorry, you were here before and grabbed a book with your right hand. Try again, I think we have the kinks worked out. 1.3049 0.06181 82 61 17 4
1721 Actually it’s an alligator. Fiction? It’s next to the falcon. If you hit the zebra you’ve gone too far. 1.3049 0.06420 82 62 15 5
1722 We couldn’t afford a security guard but figured this was the next best thing! 1.3049 0.06420 82 62 15 5
1723 You're welcome to leaf through these, but be careful 1.3048 0.05600 105 79 20 6
1724 Don't worry, it's stuffed, as in satiated. 1.3048 0.05434 105 78 22 5
1725 Go ahead and ask. Mortimer is an open book. 1.3048 0.05761 105 80 18 7
1726 No, no.... I wouldn't call him a mascot. He's more of a live-in literary critic. 1.3043 0.05296 92 66 24 2
1727 There’s a new state law on the books ensuring that no one wears a mask. 1.3043 0.04698 92 71 17 4
1728 He's a rescue from the shoe store across the street. 1.3043 0.05624 92 70 17 5
1729 Will that be cash, check, or chomp? 1.3043 0.07531 69 54 9 6
1730 Yes, we have that title. Do you care for the "leather-bound" or "paper-bound" edition? 1.3043 0.06132 92 70 16 6
1731 Printed books have existed for centuries, and like the crocodile, shall never be extinct. 1.3043 0.05517 92 67 22 3
1732 He’s here while the swamp is being renovated 1.3043 0.06324 92 71 14 7
1733 Amazon sent them to shed tears over the fate of independent bookstores. 1.3043 0.06510 92 72 12 8
1734 Yes he’s my emotional support animal and neither he nor I think your actually going to read Ulysses. 1.3043 0.05729 92 68 20 4
1735 It's our Amazon initiative. 1.3039 0.05536 102 76 21 5
1736 We wanted to add some urgency to the "just browsing today" experience. 1.3038 0.06332 79 59 16 4
1737 It’s the new Neil Caiman... 1.3038 0.06071 79 58 18 3
1738 The cat’s gone. This is Al. Al ate the cat. You can’t pet Al. What can I help with? 1.3036 0.05505 112 85 20 7
1739 Yes we do custom leather bound. 1.3034 0.05397 89 64 23 2
1740 The elephant in the room” was becoming too much of a cliche. 1.3034 0.05155 89 63 25 1
1741 When I work at the computer, he always goes to sleep on the keyboard. 1.3034 0.06667 89 70 11 8
1742 Its contents may surprise you. 1.3034 0.06472 89 69 13 7
1743 It was hard to find a pet that wasn’t constantly demanding affection. 1.3034 0.05851 89 66 19 4
1744 He doesn't shed hair on the books like the cat we used to have but he doesn't like to be scratched under the chin. 1.3034 0.06272 89 68 15 6
1745 It's our 'Amazon' special. 1.3034 0.06065 89 67 17 5
1746 New release. 1.3034 0.05851 89 66 19 4
1747 This is the new hire from Florida. 1.3034 0.06272 89 68 15 6
1748 He’s really nice, but if I were you I’d avoid the culinary section. 1.3034 0.06065 89 67 17 5
1749 My Ex couldn’t take custody this week, so here we are. 1.3030 0.05998 99 76 16 7
1750 Think of a sleeping dog then multiply that by a million. 1.3030 0.05998 99 76 16 7
1751 Well, he ate the shop cat - so now he’s the shop twofor 1.3030 0.07470 66 51 10 5
1752 He likes it if you read anything by David Attenborough to him; just don't mention Crocodile Dundee at all, or .... 1.3030 0.05824 99 75 18 6
1753 That’s not quite what I had in mind when I asked if you sold Crocs. 1.3030 0.05824 99 75 18 6
1754 I had to get him because there were too many people taking a penny and not leaving a penny. 1.3028 0.06044 109 86 13 10
1755 It’s hard to find good help these days.. 1.3026 0.06494 76 57 15 4
1756 He's an omnivorous reader. 1.3026 0.05929 76 55 19 2
1757 Just don’t let him see those shoes 1.3026 0.06759 76 58 13 5
1758 He just showed up here one day looking for "Peter Pan" and really liked this place. 1.3026 0.06494 76 57 15 4
1759 Relax, we feed him customers coming in for conspiracy books two or three times a week. 1.3026 0.06218 76 56 17 3
1760 Please silence your phone while you browse. 1.3026 0.06218 76 56 17 3
1761 What happened to the cat? 1.3025 0.05411 119 91 20 8
1762 He came in in 1986 asking if they had made a novelization of "Crocodile Dundee" yet, and I'll be darned if he hasn't been waiting here for one ever since. 1.3023 0.05747 86 63 20 3
1763 You're in luck. My new helper specializes in things you can sink your teeth into. 1.3023 0.05980 86 64 18 4
1764 Our new guy Wally here is an expert in finding books you can really sink your teeth into. 1.3023 0.05503 86 62 22 2
1765 He's a voracious reader of southern cuisine. 1.3023 0.06204 86 65 16 5
1766 He wants to know who your shoes are made from. 1.3023 0.05980 86 64 18 4
1767 This new release by BBC Earth is so good that the characters come alive. 1.3023 0.05980 86 64 18 4
1768 Oh Steve? He's just here for the customers using up the free wifi. 1.3021 0.05946 96 73 17 6
1769 This is actually one of the less dangerous things about Florida. 1.3021 0.06127 96 74 15 7
1770 See, no crocodile tears… 1.3021 0.05662 96 74 16 6
1771 I used to run a China Shop but the bull died. 1.3021 0.05946 96 73 17 6
1772 My CPA recommended that I try harder to ‘differentiate’ so I finally found something that Amazon DOES NOT sell. 1.3019 0.05221 106 78 24 4
1773 Him? Oh, he's a verbivore, you know, a logophage." 1.3017 0.04777 116 84 29 3
1774 Feel free to zigzag through the store. 1.3017 0.05506 116 89 19 8
1775 We only take cash. 1.3014 0.06948 73 56 12 5
1776 After you've been in Florida for a while you just stop noticing them. 1.3014 0.07475 73 58 8 7
1777 Bookstore cats are just so 2019. 1.3012 0.06117 83 62 17 4
1778 His name is Bezos. Voracious appetite. 1.3012 0.06117 83 62 17 4
1779 Sorry, the best sellers keep getting snapped up. 1.3012 0.06800 83 65 11 7
1780 No. Autographs only,Legal won’t allow any ‘selfies’. 1.3012 0.06580 83 64 13 6
1781 I'm sorry sir, but most people don't leave their alligators at the store. I'll need some proof that this is yours. 1.3012 0.06353 83 63 15 5
1782 No, I wouldn't say we engage in any predatory practices. 1.3012 0.06353 83 63 15 5
1783 He loves our customers. 1.3011 0.06074 93 71 16 6
1784 Or you can have the cover in Moroccan leather . 1.3011 0.05879 93 70 18 5
1785 He’s the only worker willing to forgo unemployment for subsistence wages. 1.3011 0.05879 93 70 18 5
1786 Think Southern Gothic meets Florida Noir. 1.3011 0.06074 93 71 16 6
1787 She's usually very well behaved 1.3011 0.05467 93 68 22 3
1788 He simply devours the mysteries. 1.3011 0.05879 93 70 18 5
1789 It's to promote our latest book "Alligator Taming"...sadly the author is no longer with us. 1.3011 0.06264 93 72 14 7
1790 Animal rescue said he was well-read enough to make his own decisions. 1.3011 0.05677 93 69 20 4
1791 Don’t get me started. My family goes back 8 million years in Florida. Never seen anything like this. 1.3011 0.05677 93 69 20 4
1792 Well your work experience looks good, available weekends which is good…. Is something making you nervous? 1.3011 0.06264 93 72 14 7
1793 We’ve been having trouble hiring lately. 1.3011 0.06074 93 71 16 6
1794 We’ve been swamped! 1.3010 0.05490 103 77 21 5
1795 Why yes, we do have a "Florida Man" section. 1.3010 0.05988 103 80 15 8
1796 It’s been a bit of a day. Don’t ask. 1.3010 0.04436 103 79 20 4
1797 Do you hear a ticking noise? 1.3010 0.05661 103 78 19 6
1798 This is Kyle— he's our new hire for storytime. 1.3009 0.05316 113 85 22 6
1799 Ahh great, you have The Devil Wears Prada in hardback. 1.3009 0.04850 113 82 28 3
1800 Leather covers are optional. 1.3000 0.05774 100 76 18 6
1801 No, there’s no kindle edition. 1.3000 0.05711 110 85 17 8
1802 It's from my bother in law, Sid. He sells Lacoste shirts next door. 1.3000 0.06512 80 61 14 5
1803 You won't be able to put that one down until it's finished. 1.3000 0.06006 80 59 18 3
1804 Yes, we carry Crocs 1.3000 0.06264 80 60 16 4
1805 The book signing was cancelled. 1.3000 0.05412 100 74 22 4
1806 She got her B. A. in Library Science and now she’s back home living with us. 1.3000 0.06751 80 62 12 6
1807 He hasn't helped us compete with Amazon as much as we had hoped, but he has taken a significant bite out of our losses to theft. 1.3000 0.06856 70 53 13 4
1808 He ate the cat, so now he's our new store pet. 1.3000 0.06435 100 80 10 10
1809 He overdosed on Stephen King. 1.3000 0.06512 80 61 14 5
1810 The reading from "Any Animal Can Be a Pet" has been cancelled. 1.2991 0.05328 117 89 21 7
1811 George is friendly, except for people who spend hours and hours browsing through books and then don't buy anything 1.2991 0.05007 107 78 26 3
1812 I think you heard me, Mack... Put your wallet on the counter, turn around slowly, and walk out. 1.2991 0.05510 107 81 20 6
1813 Okay, sometimes you CAN tell a book by its cover. 1.2991 0.05821 107 83 16 8
1814 Earlier he mentioned that you’d be stopping by to see him later. 1.2991 0.05667 107 82 18 7
1815 Does he know how to read? He's devoured every book I've ever given him! 1.2990 0.05516 97 72 21 4
1816 Relax. He only bites if you browse without buying. 1.2990 0.06072 97 75 15 7
1817 We don't have any books on alligators,but we do have crocodiles on books. 1.2989 0.05691 87 64 20 3
1818 Sorry, the only thing he wrestles are poorly conceived analogies. 1.2989 0.06143 87 66 16 5
1819 No more bringing back a book and saying it's a crock. 1.2989 0.06356 87 67 14 6
1820 It's the new 2022 David Attenborough 3D Calendar and Gift set. I can't keep 'em on the shelves. 1.2989 0.06356 87 67 14 6
1821 The owner just said "See you later" and left. 1.2989 0.06143 87 66 16 5
1822 Oh, go ahead and get your book. What do you think he's going to do, bite you? 1.2989 0.05921 87 65 18 4
1823 We now offer the freshest custom binding. 1.2989 0.05921 87 65 18 4
1824 Not to alarm you, but he has very strong opinions about contemporary fiction. 1.2987 0.06421 77 58 15 4
1825 Let me know if you need a hand. 1.2987 0.05865 77 56 19 2
1826 He finds customers a lot easier to digest than Faulkner's storylines. 1.2987 0.06682 77 59 13 5
1827 Don’t ask me if he bites. It’s his store not mine. 1.2987 0.06682 77 59 13 5
1828 Books are on sale. Metaphors are full-price. 1.2987 0.07175 77 61 9 7
1829 He's helped drive contactless payment adoption up 786%... 1.2985 0.07058 67 51 12 4
1830 He has trouble turning pages. 1.2985 0.07372 67 52 10 5
1831 Don't worry! He doesn't make snap judgements. 1.2985 0.07058 67 51 12 4
1832 He ate my pitbull to become my alpha pet. 1.2981 0.05614 104 79 19 6
1833 Of course, you could step down to the standard leather binding... 1.2981 0.06092 104 82 13 9
1834 A Yelp review called our Staff Picks toothless so... 1.2979 0.06018 94 72 16 6
1835 If you’re not ready to buy today, we also offer predatory lending. 1.2979 0.06735 94 76 8 10
1836 We used to have a store cat, but it disappeared. 1.2976 0.06055 84 63 17 4
1837 Don't worry, he really only eats bookworms. 1.2976 0.06287 84 64 15 5
1838 Yeah, best seller is such a crock. 1.2976 0.06938 84 67 9 8
1839 After the latest round of union negotiations, he just became more affordable than a security guard 1.2976 0.05159 84 62 20 2
1840 He ate the cat, so I let him stay. 1.2976 0.05561 84 61 21 2
1841 Not to worry. He’s only for the unvaccinated. 1.2976 0.06287 84 64 15 5
1842 With the hurricanes we're getting this year, it looks like Florida is coming to us 1.2976 0.05561 84 61 21 2
1843 We have a pretty strict return policy. 1.2973 0.06590 74 56 14 4
1844 Where is everyone? I thought Books & Bites started an hour ago. 1.2973 0.06865 74 57 12 5
1845 Where else? From Amazon. 1.2973 0.06590 74 56 14 4
1846 Don't make a snap judgment! 1.2973 0.06865 74 57 12 5
1847 I was having a problem with security! 1.2973 0.06865 74 57 12 5
1848 Swipe, insert, or tap 1.2973 0.07130 74 58 10 6
1849 Never judge a book by its cover. 1.2973 0.05054 111 82 25 4
1850 That's a croc(k)! 1.2970 0.05367 101 75 22 4
1851 We pride our business model and security system on being old-fashioned. 1.2970 0.05724 101 77 18 6
1852 Hey, Allan. They finally approved pets in our building. 1.2969 0.07278 64 49 11 4
1853 Makes you stop and think, doesn't it? 1.2969 0.07278 64 49 11 4
1854 Of course it’s ticking. 1.2969 0.07278 64 49 11 4
1855 George, here, can help you find a book. 1.2967 0.05741 91 68 19 4
1856 He doesn’t say much but does have biting commentary 1.2967 0.05741 91 68 19 4
1857 She’s only with us for story hour. Poor thing—her arms are too short to read on her own. 1.2967 0.05949 91 69 17 5
1858 We have a leather bound first edition you that may interest you! 1.2963 0.05773 108 84 16 8
1859 He got too big to flush down the toilet! 1.2963 0.06197 81 61 16 4
1860 That IS the new cat. 1.2963 0.06197 81 61 16 4
1861 Shoplifting has stopped completely 1.2963 0.06442 81 62 14 5
1862 In case somebody asks for a Kindle 1.2963 0.06677 81 63 12 6
1863 Well, yes, we had a cat. Past tense. 1.2963 0.06442 81 62 14 5
1864 I miss the cat. 1.2963 0.06442 81 62 14 5
1865 Who doesn't like to devour a new book," thought Tomas 1.2963 0.05465 108 82 20 6
1866 Not to worry! He's still digesting his latest book club...selection. 1.2959 0.05840 98 75 17 6
1867 Besides cutting down on thefts, he's also a great thesaurus. 1.2958 0.06771 71 54 13 4
1868 Like a good book, I just can't put him down. 1.2958 0.06467 71 53 15 3
1869 It's our buy one, get nothing free sale. 1.2958 0.07062 71 55 11 5
1870 A little scary, but this is the only employee who doesn’t complain how cold the AC is. 1.2958 0.06771 71 54 13 4
1871 If you return this, it will cost you an arm and a leg 1.2957 0.05380 115 88 20 7
1872 Thanks Henry,but I was looking for books on gators. Not gators on books. 1.2957 0.05380 115 88 20 7
1873 All the books in this section cost an arm and a leg. 1.2955 0.06293 88 68 14 6
1874 Got his second Covid shot yesterday. 1.2955 0.06082 88 67 16 5
1875 Every bookstore needs a resident pet! 1.2955 0.05399 88 64 22 2
1876 Don't be alarmed, My wife is inside. 1.2955 0.06293 88 68 14 6
1877 ‘See you later’ is cool, but ‘after a while’ is not. 1.2955 0.06293 88 68 14 6
1878 His new book is 'See You Later: How to Move from New York to Florida'. 1.2955 0.06082 88 67 16 5
1879 I told Bezos come down here and we would settle this once and for all. He's supposed to bring an anaconda. 1.2955 0.06293 88 68 14 6
1880 His natural habitat is Deconstructed Rainforest 1.2955 0.05863 88 66 18 4
1881 We hired him because of his biting sense of humor. 1.2955 0.06082 88 67 16 5
1882 If you can snatch the book from his mouth, it’s free. 1.2949 0.06350 78 59 15 4
1883 Who, this guy...Oh yeah he's an avid reader, loves to get his teeth into a book! 1.2949 0.06082 78 58 17 3
1884 There hasn't been a single book stolen since we hired good reliable Larry, here." 1.2949 0.06607 78 60 13 5
1885 Can I recommend something to really sink your teeth into? 1.2949 0.06854 78 61 11 6
1886 Indeed, “Alligator Wrestling for Dummies” comes with a live Alligator. Do you need help getting him into your car or are you all set? 1.2949 0.06854 78 61 11 6
1887 It's Izod--I Z O D. 1.2947 0.06147 95 74 14 7
1888 I know he's good security, but he lacks the warmth of a dog." Thomas Frizzell (Crockett, Texas) 1.2947 0.05962 95 73 16 6
1889 You'll know if he doesn't like your selection. 1.2947 0.05772 95 72 18 5
1890 Do you want a bag? 1.2947 0.06147 95 74 14 7
1891 He’s our new ‘Izod Anti-Shoplifting’ system. 1.2946 0.05476 112 86 19 7
1892 My guard dog just wouldn't stop barking. 1.2946 0.05327 112 85 21 6
1893 The cat quit and there's a labor shortage. 1.2941 0.05993 85 64 17 4
1894 You have to be thick-skinned to work in retail these days. 1.2941 0.06223 85 65 15 5
1895 The cat died so this is Chaucer II 1.2941 0.05501 102 77 20 5
1896 Yes, but he prefers "Alligator mississippiensis." 1.2941 0.05322 102 76 22 4
1897 I didn't know you worked here, Rebecca. 1.2941 0.06444 85 66 13 6
1898 We welcome suggestions, but not so much complaints 1.2941 0.06968 68 52 12 4
1899 FYI, the Children’s Section is closed until further notice. 1.2941 0.06444 85 66 13 6
1900 If you don’t snap it up, he will 1.2941 0.05322 102 76 22 4
1901 I ran an ad in the paper saying we were swamped and would hire on the spot. 1.2941 0.06968 68 52 12 4
1902 We decided to lean into the ‘arm and a leg’ pricing model. 1.2941 0.06658 85 67 11 7
1903 We have a 90 day return policy. After that, you can wrestle the crocodile for store credit. 1.2941 0.05755 85 63 19 3
1904 Online price complaints go to him. 1.2941 0.05993 85 64 17 4
1905 Everyone uses cell phones or tablets these days, so we're shredding our inventory. 1.2935 0.05687 92 69 19 4
1906 Pat the Bunny was banned by the Me Too movement...this is the Touch a Gator, Lose a Hand series 1.2935 0.05687 92 69 19 4
1907 When you leave it’s “see you later”, not “in a while”. 1.2935 0.05893 92 70 17 5
1908 She came in a shipment of books received from Florida. 1.2935 0.05581 92 71 16 5
1909 Say what you will but He knows more about Shakespeare than anyone else In this uncultured city. 1.2935 0.05135 92 69 20 3
1910 He loved your book. 1.2933 0.07045 75 59 10 6
1911 He’s from Amazon…… 1.2933 0.06514 75 57 14 4
1912 His bite's way worse than his bark. 1.2933 0.05935 75 55 18 2
1913 If you’re looking for something smaller the babies are in the children’s book area 1.2933 0.06785 75 58 12 5
1914 Are you new to Florida? 1.2933 0.06231 75 56 16 3
1915 His name is Lyle, Lyle. 1.2931 0.05478 116 90 18 8
1916 But the trim is genuine alligator! 1.2929 0.05420 99 74 21 4
1917 I think I know the ending of this story. 1.2929 0.05964 99 77 15 7
1918 Forcing alligators to wear muzzles lacks a well-grounded scientific justification. 1.2929 0.05964 99 77 15 7
1919 We are testing a more organic security system. 1.2929 0.05227 99 73 23 3
1920 He only bites if you dog-ear the pages. 1.2927 0.06132 82 62 16 4
1921 So is it see ya later or afterwhile to you and your friend? 1.2927 0.06605 82 64 12 6
1922 Straight From The Swamp: 1.2927 0.05881 82 61 18 3
1923 At least she doesn't shed. 1.2927 0.06373 82 63 14 5
1924 ...and he is fully vaccinated! 1.2927 0.06373 82 63 14 5
1925 This godamn turtle won’t get off my pizza boxes. 1.2927 0.06373 82 63 14 5
1926 Couldn’t just leave her in Florida 1.2927 0.05345 82 59 22 1
1927 We're Amazon themed. 1.2925 0.05440 106 83 16 7
1928 It's ironic that he's from the Amazon. 1.2923 0.07180 65 50 11 4
1929 We also have a special on this 12-hole punch. 1.2921 0.06432 89 70 12 7
1930 It's an exciting new work by a climate change denier. 1.2921 0.06022 89 68 16 5
1931 Nope, sorry, no books on alligator obedience. 1.2921 0.05806 89 67 18 4
1932 A book on handbag design, you say? 1.2921 0.06022 89 68 16 5
1933 Don't worry, aligators don't get Covid 1.2921 0.06432 89 70 12 7
1934 This one can really sink its teeth into you. 1.2921 0.06432 89 70 12 7
1935 Him? He's in charge of returns. 1.2921 0.05806 89 67 18 4
1936 He is a tough critic, but hey he must of liked some of the manuscript because you still have your left arm. 1.2921 0.06231 89 69 14 6
1937 It’s a very rare alligator bound edition. 1.2920 0.05433 113 87 19 7
1938 He ate the store cat, but we kept him because his personality is better. 1.2920 0.05134 113 85 23 5
1939 Does your crocodile eat lawyers? 1.2917 0.06976 72 56 11 5
1940 It's his picture on all those polo shirts. 1.2917 0.05745 72 52 19 1
1941 He’s protesting leather-bound books. 1.2917 0.06076 72 53 17 2
1942 Says here it's an alligator. 1.2917 0.07251 72 57 9 6
1943 He only bites the unvaccinated. 1.2917 0.05908 96 74 16 6
1944 He makes solid recommendations — just decline if he wants to go with you to the shelf. 1.2917 0.05322 96 71 22 3
1945 Sorry for the inconvenience , the previous manager insisted on draining the swamp. 1.2917 0.06689 72 55 13 4
1946 Don't worry, he is much less judgmental than the cats were. 1.2913 0.05455 103 78 20 5
1947 Now remember Gator, customers are friends, not food. 1.2913 0.05627 103 79 18 6
1948 I’m so happy Ron DeSantis fought for all my rights 1.2913 0.05627 103 79 18 6
1949 Those books are free. 1.2911 0.06280 79 60 15 4
1950 It's a new genre. Read at your own risk. 1.2911 0.05740 79 58 19 2
1951 He likes your shoes. 1.2911 0.06016 79 59 17 3
1952 It’s OK he’s just eaten. The last customer called him an alligator. 1.2911 0.06534 79 61 13 5
1953 Feel free to browse as long as he'd like. 1.2911 0.06777 79 62 11 6
1954 It's an inflatable, but still cuts down on shoplifters. 1.2911 0.06280 79 60 15 4
1955 Wanted an associate with online marketing experience. Turns out he’s from THE Amazon. 1.2911 0.06777 79 62 11 6
1956 What can I say, he kind of grew on me during quarantine 1.2911 0.05740 79 58 19 2
1957 It takes thick skin to stay in the book business these days 1.2909 0.05222 110 83 22 5
1958 Go ahead and try to steal one 1.2907 0.06159 86 66 15 5
1959 We are enforcing social distancing 1.2907 0.05933 86 65 17 4
1960 You'll be OK -- this is the fiction section. 1.2907 0.05698 86 64 19 3
1961 Corporate is taking the “Amazon” part of the bookstore too far. 1.2907 0.05933 86 65 17 4
1962 The book you ordered, " My life with an alligator" is out of print. This is the best that we could do for you. 1.2907 0.06378 86 67 13 6
1963 I said a book on alligators, not an alligator on books! 1.2907 0.06159 86 66 15 5
1964 On the plus side, we have much less shoplifting. 1.2907 0.05933 86 65 17 4
1965 Stay calm and don't mention the you know what in the room. 1.2903 0.05838 93 71 17 5
1966 He apparently tells the story of the Ichthyosaurs extinction, in Oral Tradition. But no one has been able to translate the language. 1.2903 0.06035 93 72 15 6
1967 His favorite treat is bad prose. 1.2903 0.06035 93 72 15 6
1968 Most people start browsing here in ‘Nature’ and then move on to ‘First Aid.’ 1.2903 0.08094 62 50 6 6
1969 I should have know that being inside with strangers was dangerous these days. 1.2903 0.07760 62 49 8 5
1970 I meant to order erotic but I made a typo.” 1.2900 0.05738 100 77 17 6
1971 He seems harmless enough. 1.2900 0.05374 100 75 21 4
1972 As you know, these first editions can cost an arm and a leg. 1.2900 0.05559 100 76 19 5
1973 No. The proper saying is: See you later alligator, after a while crocodile. Alligators are picky that way. 1.2899 0.06562 69 52 14 3
1974 He's a glutton for bibliophiles. 1.2899 0.05876 69 50 18 1
1975 Wait, did you order a book on crocs and not a croc on books? 1.2899 0.06562 69 52 14 3
1976 No more rats in the alley. Nor skateboarders. 1.2899 0.07473 69 55 8 6
1977 Yep - said he won't go back to the golf course pond until vaccination rates go up in Florida. 1.2897 0.05940 107 85 13 9
1978 Let me know if I can help you find anything. 1.2897 0.05313 107 81 21 5
1979 Shoplifting no longer a problem and he actually seems to smile at people. 1.2895 0.06706 76 59 12 5
1980 It's an alligator. With an 'A.' That's why he's up front. 1.2895 0.06706 76 59 12 5
1981 Our returns policy has teeth. 1.2895 0.06706 76 59 12 5
1982 Sorry, we don't have any books on alligators, however we do have an alligator on books. 1.2895 0.06706 76 59 12 5
1983 These are from the Kroch's and Brentano's inventory. 1.2895 0.06439 76 58 14 4
1984 Florida bookstores are different from other bookstores. 1.2895 0.07210 76 61 8 7
1985 I see you have the latest Readers Digest. 1.2895 0.06963 76 60 10 6
1986 I suggest petting it nicely before asking for any spoilers. 1.2895 0.06963 76 60 10 6
1987 We are trying to diversify our offerings 1.2895 0.05869 76 56 18 2
1988 No, my alligator does not bite. 1.2892 0.06534 83 65 12 6
1989 He's already eaten. 1.2892 0.06306 83 64 14 5
1990 I’m sorry you misunderstood what we meant by “alligator bound.” 1.2892 0.06068 83 63 16 4
1991 Sadly for the author, it turned out to be a Meet and Eat. 1.2892 0.06306 83 64 14 5
1992 You’d think the arms would be longer. Wait, I mean legs. 1.2892 0.07177 83 68 6 9
1993 We are going for the Amazon experience. 1.2892 0.05821 83 62 18 3
1994 My associate here actually handles all sales of Abbie Hoffman’s, Steal this Book. 1.2892 0.06068 83 63 16 4
1995 Amazon may sell books on alligators, but this is the only place you can get alligators on books. 1.2892 0.06306 83 64 14 5
1996 He works for minimum wade. 1.2892 0.06306 83 64 14 5
1997 The blurb promises "a jaw-dropping twist" and let me tell you, it delivers. 1.2889 0.05751 90 68 18 4
1998 He eats e-readers. 1.2889 0.05964 90 69 16 5
1999 His latest book is a crock. 1.2889 0.06170 90 70 14 6
2000 It's a security system, a shredder, and a no-return policy all in one. 1.2889 0.06369 90 71 12 7
2001 Hasn’t bought anything. I think he’s just here for the air conditioning. 1.2889 0.05299 90 66 22 2
2002 What's that ticking I hear? 1.2889 0.05751 90 68 18 4
2003 . “We’ve had to pivot, to be more like the Amazon.” 1.2889 0.05751 90 68 18 4
2004 He" doesn't have to wear a mask but YOU do 1.2889 0.06170 90 70 14 6
2005 The books are free, but they cost an arm and a leg 1.2887 0.05276 97 72 22 3
2006 According to critics, once you open it, you can't put it down. 1.2887 0.06381 97 78 10 9
2007 Don’t mind the shop croc, it’s for emotional support. 1.2887 0.04851 97 70 26 1
2008 We finally got on Amazon. 1.2885 0.05409 104 79 20 5
2009 This is my next belt. 1.2885 0.05409 104 79 20 5
2010 As a city hero, Lyle will be here all day. Mrs. Primm will do the book signing for him. 1.2879 0.06747 66 50 13 3
2011 I know. I can't believe they're back in style either. 1.2879 0.06392 66 49 15 2
2012 He’s our book critic. 1.2879 0.07406 66 52 9 5
2013 It’s not an alligator, it’s a crocodile 1.2879 0.07084 66 51 11 4
2014 I feel fortunate to have found a place where they allow you to bring emotional support reptiles to work. 1.2877 0.06609 73 56 13 4
2015 Oh, he says there was too much coronavirus in Florida. 1.2877 0.06891 73 57 11 5
2016 Shoplifters 1.2875 0.05952 80 60 17 3
2017 Sorry, this is a book store not a shoe store. 1.2875 0.05680 80 59 19 2
2018 Yes, we do have some rare books. How badly do you want to see them? 1.2875 0.05952 80 60 17 3
2019 He's waiting for his book to come in...I keep telling him we do deliveries but I guess he's worried they won't find him in the swamp. 1.2875 0.06212 80 61 15 4
2020 You can pet him; his name is Quick. 1.2875 0.06462 80 62 13 5
2021 We’re working out a few bugs in the Amazon resellers program. 1.2875 0.05952 80 60 17 3
2022 Relax, Swampy, the man's armless. 1.2875 0.07159 80 65 7 8
2023 We just instituted an anti-shoplifting policy. 1.2874 0.06097 87 67 15 5
2024 As you might expect, he’s a voracious reader. 1.2874 0.05874 87 66 17 4
2025 He’s doing a book signing here for his latest “croc-pot” recipe series. 1.2874 0.05642 87 65 19 3
2026 Your Alligator covered book is in . 1.2874 0.06097 87 67 15 5
2027 It just arrived when we signed up for the Green and Ethical program 1.2874 0.06097 87 67 15 5
2028 It’s OK, he’s been vaccinated. 1.2872 0.05583 94 71 19 4
2029 He’s hypoallergenic. 1.2872 0.06167 94 74 13 7
2030 He claims to be waiting for Dr. Who. 1.2872 0.05374 94 70 21 3
2031 We've really cut down on people reading magazines without buying them. 1.2872 0.05374 94 70 21 3
2032 I can't say he's really a bestseller. 1.2872 0.05784 94 72 17 5
2033 I’ m sorry, but the author’s book signing has been canceled due to circumstances beyond our control. 1.2872 0.05583 94 71 19 4
2034 "When you said you wanted the book bound in alligator...you didn't specify if you wanted the alligator alive or not..." 1.2872 0.04692 94 72 19 3
2035 He gets a little snappy with customers… But, there is a worker shortage and he does show up on time everyday. 1.2872 0.05784 94 72 17 5
2036 We dump all the genre novels on our literary swamp table. 1.2871 0.05328 101 76 21 4
2037 Oh,yes,there definitely has been a decline in customer demand for leather-bound books. 1.2871 0.05511 101 77 19 5
2038 Cats took care of the mouse problem, croc took care of the cat problem 1.2870 0.05432 108 83 19 6
2039 How do you want your alligator skin covered book you ordered, wrapped or unwrapped? 1.2870 0.05350 115 89 19 7
2040 Neighborhood’s too tough for a kitty 1.2857 0.06091 77 58 16 3
2041 He’s only here for our “half off” sale. 1.2857 0.06629 77 60 12 5
2042 As a special this week, every book comes with a do-it-yourself leather binding 1.2857 0.05533 105 81 18 6
2043 He's here to autograph copies of his book - "Love, Eat Prey". 1.2857 0.06110 91 71 14 6
2044 Reviewers labelled it a croc. 1.2857 0.05906 91 70 16 5
2045 So you’re sure you want your change, sir? 1.2857 0.06629 77 60 12 5
2046 For the binding of your choice, Sir." 1.2857 0.05696 91 69 18 4
2047 Cash, credit, or hand. 1.2857 0.05618 98 75 18 5
2048 It’s leather bound. 1.2857 0.06481 70 53 14 3
2049 Wow, that's an extremely aggressive tip jar. 1.2857 0.05696 91 69 18 4
2050 The book comes with a free alligator tote 1.2857 0.06465 84 66 12 6
2051 Howard is our advisor on crocodilian literature of the late Jurassic period. 1.2857 0.05240 84 61 22 1
2052 Just don’t call him, “Crock.” 1.2857 0.04734 112 85 23 4
2053 We strongly recommend the one about saving the Everglades. 1.2857 0.06091 77 58 16 3
2054 He says he can't leave his granddad, who, apparently, became the bindings of the pack of books he's lying on. 1.2857 0.05696 91 69 18 4
2055 It keeps the cat on her toes. 1.2857 0.05804 77 57 18 2
2056 That's our new Swamp-lit section. Bayou one get one free. 1.2857 0.07091 70 55 10 5
2057 Nothing wrong here, just a normal day in Florida. 1.2857 0.06481 70 53 14 3
2058 Because I'm allergic to cats. 1.2857 0.06366 77 59 14 4
2059 Gene has a special appetite for greeting customers who like Amazon. 1.2857 0.05618 98 75 18 5
2060 Don’t worry. He’s my emotional support animal. 1.2857 0.06239 84 65 14 5
2061 Mr. Do you really want to pay the bill for all the books your pet crocodile purchased? 1.2857 0.06154 98 78 12 8
2062 Replaced a guard dog, literally speaking… 1.2857 0.05445 112 87 18 7
2063 This one is especially gripping. 1.2857 0.05477 91 68 20 3
2064 Have you met my new head of security? 1.2857 0.05427 98 74 20 4
2065 The last book you sold me was a real crock 1.2857 0.03961 126 97 25 4
2066 Looks like we only have that in hardback. 1.2857 0.05981 98 77 14 7
2067 the alligator-bound edition will be of a similar material as the sample. 1.2857 0.07307 63 49 10 4
2068 I’m looking for something truly all-consuming. 1.2857 0.06366 77 59 14 4
2069 Yes- we just installed a new anti-theft system 1.2857 0.06005 84 64 16 4
2070 I told you sir, you can find Dickens down the crocod-aisle. 1.2857 0.05365 105 80 20 5
2071 He's a surprisingly voracious reader 1.2857 0.05804 77 57 18 2
2072 he can be here - he's a therapy alligator 1.2857 0.06629 77 60 12 5
2073 This isn’t what we meant by scale back 1.2857 0.06239 84 65 14 5
2074 Everything in this store is vegan, including Kevin over here. 1.2857 0.05906 91 70 16 5
2075 Calculator? Oh I thought you said Alligator. 1.2857 0.06481 70 53 14 3
2076 My emotional support dog is at the vet so they loaned me a gator aid. 1.2857 0.05906 91 70 16 5
2077 This is our Investi-gator section. 1.2857 0.06629 77 60 12 5
2078 No,he just comes in for the pulp fiction 1.2847 0.04742 137 105 25 7
2079 Daisy’s friendly, but watch out for Gatsby. He’s hiding around here somewhere, just waiting to get underfoot. 1.2843 0.05639 102 79 17 6
2080 Seen my wife? 1.2842 0.05923 95 74 15 6
2081 it's bound in genuine alligator skin 1.2841 0.06036 88 68 15 5
2082 He just moved here from Florida to get away from the New Yorkers. 1.2841 0.05816 88 67 17 4
2083 He’s crashing here until an affordable sewer pipe comes available. 1.2841 0.06249 88 69 13 6
2084 He's a little too opinionated, if you ask me. Mention Harold Robbins and see what happens...I dare you. 1.2840 0.06145 81 62 15 4
2085 The lease said no cats. 1.2840 0.06857 81 65 9 7
2086 Is this the Izod section 1.2840 0.05889 81 61 17 3
2087 Do you have this in a size 9D? 1.2840 0.06628 81 64 11 6
2088 You might not want to mention Amazon 1.2840 0.06391 81 63 13 5
2089 Sales are up but we are down a cashier. 1.2840 0.05620 81 60 19 2
2090 Big mistake, I ordered Gatorade online 1.2840 0.06391 81 63 13 5
2091 Don’t worry. He only eats folks that use Kindle. 1.2840 0.06145 81 62 15 4
2092 Climate change. 1.2838 0.06241 74 56 15 3
2093 It's a short read. 1.2838 0.06241 74 56 15 3
2094 Unless you want to lose your left arm too, I'd select a different genre! 1.2838 0.06531 74 57 13 4
2095 He runs the returns department. 1.2838 0.06531 74 57 13 4
2096 People kept trying to pet my guard dog. I needed to upgrade. 1.2838 0.05937 74 55 17 2
2097 You’ll find Zebra on the back wall. 1.2836 0.08183 67 56 3 8
2098 Just wondered in one day looking for a copy "The Everglades Chef" and never left." 1.2836 0.06991 67 52 11 4
2099 That’s a funky looking dog 1.2836 0.07610 67 54 7 6
2100 I wouldn’t recommend keeping your change, but be my guest. 1.2836 0.06660 67 51 13 3
2101 He’s just checking if you are wearing alligator shoes 1.2836 0.06660 67 51 13 3
2102 Your paperweight just burped. 1.2836 0.06660 67 51 13 3
2103 All the other emotional support reptiles were taken. 1.2836 0.05942 67 49 17 1
2104 It’s 5 o’croc, isn’t it? 1.2828 0.05380 99 75 20 4
2105 I personally prefer a cat, however this one does a better job at biting shoplifters. 1.2826 0.05642 92 70 18 4
2106 Everything in this stack is under $5. 1.2826 0.05850 92 71 16 5
2107 Next time you say that book was a croc, remember this moment. 1.2826 0.05642 92 70 18 4
2108 ‘He was here this morning when I came in. I took it as an omen.’ 1.2826 0.05642 92 70 18 4
2109 He eats all the 'cancelled' works. 1.2824 0.06175 85 66 14 5
2110 News that bites 1.2824 0.05944 85 65 16 4
2111 The Amazon in the bookstore. 1.2824 0.05452 85 63 20 2
2112 Paper or plastic? 1.2824 0.06175 85 66 14 5
2113 It’s become more popular than the bear 1.2824 0.05944 85 65 16 4
2114 No, I'm pretty sure it's an alligator. 1.2824 0.06175 85 66 14 5
2115 He's part of this week's Izod promotion. 1.2824 0.05452 85 63 20 2
2116 A tail as old as time 1.2824 0.05703 85 64 18 3
2117 We figured a much more tangible fear of death might inspire mask wearing. 1.2824 0.06398 85 67 12 6
2118 He's more alert than he looks, and shoplifting is way down. 1.2824 0.06398 85 67 12 6
2119 He’s here to sign copies of his new self help book, “Turning See You Later Into See You Soon”. 1.2824 0.06398 85 67 12 6
2120 We've got everything from alligator to zebra. 1.2821 0.05741 78 58 18 2
2121 Ali and these University of Florida library books were rescued before the warm waters of the Gulf and Atlantic met at Gainesville. 1.2821 0.06294 78 60 14 4
2122 Yeah, we miss the sparrow hawk. 1.2821 0.06294 78 60 14 4
2123 Racist and offensive literature is located under the belly of the alligator. 1.2821 0.07043 78 63 8 7
2124 Our sales assistant has just arrived back from a wildlife safari 1.2821 0.06803 78 62 10 6
2125 I see that describe yourself as thick-skinned 1.2821 0.04178 117 89 25 3
2126 Why the long face? 1.2821 0.07043 78 63 8 7
2127 Well, he swallowed the kestrel so I'm searching for a seven-letter word for crocodile to fit the window. 1.2818 0.05187 110 84 21 5
2128 It comes free with a copy of Steve Irwin's biography. 1.2817 0.06079 71 53 16 2
2129 Welcome to Meet The Alligator 1.2817 0.06708 71 55 12 4
2130 Let me know if you need any help. 1.2817 0.07002 71 56 10 5
2131 He suggests you check Amazon. 1.2817 0.06708 71 55 12 4
2132 You touch it, you buy it. 1.2817 0.07002 71 56 10 5
2133 That’s Crocky. He will validate your parking ticket. 1.2817 0.06708 71 55 12 4
2134 This one’s a nail biter. 1.2817 0.07002 71 56 10 5
2135 Yes, his name is Lyle but he’s an alligator. 1.2816 0.05590 103 80 17 6
2136 Very few books walk away by themselves these days. 1.2816 0.05590 103 80 17 6
2137 He's real. I'm not. 1.2816 0.05418 103 79 19 5
2138 As long as you don’t take out your phone to check Amazon, you have nothing to worry about 1.2816 0.05921 103 82 13 8
2139 It's the fully immersive version of Jungle Book. Try downloading that on your Kindle. 1.2812 0.06853 64 49 12 3
2140 He's our new returns department. 1.2812 0.05868 96 75 15 6
2141 Thefts have gone way down lately. 1.2812 0.06853 64 49 12 3
2142 They misread your order and sent crocodiles on books. But they had only one in stock. 1.2812 0.05066 96 71 23 2
2143 This mall used to be in the Everglades. The gators walk through all the time. 1.2812 0.06481 64 48 14 2
2144 Yes, we used to have a cat but I believe she found other work. 1.2812 0.05066 96 71 23 2
2145 Workforce diversity 1.2812 0.05868 96 75 15 6
2146 If you ain’t a gator, you gator bait, baby. 1.2812 0.06231 96 77 11 8
2147 Didn’t you order the alligator book cover? 1.2812 0.05482 96 73 19 4
2148 It's our new security system. Just behave and everything will be cool. 1.2809 0.05977 89 69 15 5
2149 Take a closer look if you want, I don’t bite! 1.2806 0.05108 139 111 17 11
2150 Yeah, we cater to voracious readers. 1.2805 0.06079 82 63 15 4
2151 Please don’t say it, or I will be forced to say “In a while crocodile.” 1.2805 0.06322 82 64 13 5
2152 Too many people were allergic to cats. 1.2805 0.05562 82 61 19 2
2153 we've had too much shop-lifting. 1.2805 0.06322 82 64 13 5
2154 He was the only one who applied for the security job and he is doing great 1.2805 0.06079 82 63 15 4
2155 He only crunches the numbers 1.2805 0.06556 82 65 11 6
2156 We don’t pay particularly well. 1.2805 0.06079 82 63 15 4
2157 So um…alligator or crocodile? 1.2805 0.06079 82 63 15 4
2158 I've found it to be the most effective way to enforce social distancing. 1.2804 0.04932 107 80 24 3
2159 Charlie responds to any negative Yelp reviews. 1.2800 0.05869 75 56 17 2
2160 I'm more of a nonfiction guy. Clive here can recommend a story into which you really can sink you teeth. 1.2800 0.06990 75 60 9 6
2161 I got him because people were ignoring the elephant in the room 1.2800 0.06169 75 57 15 3
2162 We have a strict ‘you touch it, you buy it’ policy. 1.2800 0.05700 100 78 16 6
2163 The cover is not particularly appealing but it’s got a biting wit. 1.2800 0.06454 75 58 13 4
2164 Too many customers were allergic to cats. 1.2800 0.06454 75 58 13 4
2165 We decided to keep him after he ate the cat. 1.2800 0.05700 100 78 16 6
2166 He just came in to browse 1.2800 0.06990 75 60 9 6
2167 He's from the Readers' Digest 1.2800 0.06454 75 58 13 4
2168 He only bites if you don't buy anything. 1.2800 0.05869 75 56 17 2
2169 New anti-theft device. 1.2800 0.06169 75 57 15 3
2170 So it's true, you really do charge an arm and a leg. 1.2800 0.06454 75 58 13 4
2171 He provides us with round the 'croc' protection. 1.2796 0.05795 93 72 16 5
2172 Our last customer left him behind when he would still fit in your hand. 1.2796 0.05590 93 71 18 4
2173 We've been told that our store has no personality so we decided to make the customer entry experience "gripping." 1.2796 0.05590 93 71 18 4
2174 The invoice said you wanted it alligator bound. 1.2796 0.05795 93 72 16 5
2175 The cat wasn't as good at stopping shoplifters. 1.2796 0.05795 93 72 16 5
2176 Today is "bring your pet to work day"... 1.2796 0.05154 93 69 22 2
2177 What’s your cats name? 1.2796 0.05590 93 71 18 4
2178 Amazon has been swallowing up our customer base, so I thought why not fight fire with fire? 1.2794 0.06900 68 53 11 4
2179 It is the interactive edition of the Rene Lacoste biography. 1.2794 0.07211 68 54 9 5
2180 We feel it's morally and environmentally responsible if the client personally chooses the actual alligator for the binding. 1.2794 0.06574 68 52 13 3
2181 Stapled or hole punched? 1.2794 0.06574 68 52 13 3
2182 Don't worry, she's a feminist she wouldn't hurt 'ya. Just don't take yourself so seriously maybe. 1.2794 0.06574 68 52 13 3
2183 Yes, he also takes debit. 1.2794 0.06574 68 52 13 3
2184 Books are for sale; gator rents by day. 1.2794 0.06900 68 53 11 4
2185 Unexpected item in bagging area 1.2794 0.06900 68 53 11 4
2186 He's my right hand man. 1.2793 0.05303 111 86 19 6
2187 Shoplifting is way down ! 1.2791 0.05646 86 65 18 3
2188 Please don't pet him. 1.2791 0.06111 86 67 14 5
2189 The LaCoste shirt is fine, I'm just worried about the alligator shoes. Maybe back out the door slowly? 1.2791 0.05883 86 66 16 4
2190 It'll be a minute, we're a little swamped. 1.2791 0.05398 86 64 20 2
2191 We had a cat, but it disappeared 1.2788 0.05195 104 79 21 4
2192 Insert Far Side caption here. 1.2788 0.05543 104 81 17 6
2193 He's recommending that stack of books to chew on. 1.2787 0.06666 61 46 13 2
2194 Oh, her? Simba’s out on paternity leave. 1.2787 0.07441 61 48 9 4
2195 We do alli-gory differently here. 1.2785 0.06726 79 63 10 6
2196 It's the latest thing. It's a book that can sink its teeth into you. 1.2785 0.06224 79 61 14 4
2197 We have a large selection of Noam Chompsky. 1.2785 0.06726 79 63 10 6
2198 How are you adjusting after sticking your fingers in Fred's nostrils last year ? 1.2785 0.06224 79 61 14 4
2199 I was hoping for something snappy to read 1.2785 0.06480 79 62 12 5
2200 I advertised for a voracious *reader,* but his eyesight isn't great... 1.2785 0.05679 79 59 18 2
2201 He’s my emotional support gator. 1.2785 0.06480 79 62 12 5
2202 he alleviates loneliness, has a jaw that can crush with 3,700 pounds per square inch of force, and loves cuddles 1.2785 0.06480 79 62 12 5
2203 Gift with purchase 1.2785 0.05958 79 60 16 3
2204 Restrooms are for customers only 1.2785 0.06480 79 62 12 5
2205 No, not endangered, just remaindered. 1.2785 0.05958 79 60 16 3
2206 We're having a special on leather bindings for self-publishing authors this week. Get two copies bound, and we'll throw in a belt and a wallet. 1.2784 0.05627 97 75 17 5
2207 He's written two bestsellers about how to stop living in denial." 1.2784 0.05627 97 75 17 5
2208 The only bad thing about him is he doesn't tolerate customers with alligator shoes. 1.2778 0.06324 72 55 14 3
2209 You're probably aware that Amazon is trying to move into our space. 1.2778 0.06626 72 56 12 4
2210 Autographs are not encouraged... 1.2778 0.05247 90 67 21 2
2211 Alligator. We don’t carry Crocs. 1.2778 0.05703 90 69 17 4
2212 When I say No dogs allowed, I mean it. 1.2778 0.06126 90 71 13 6
2213 He works for scraps and no one has tried to steal yet. 1.2778 0.06915 72 57 10 5
2214 I order it when I had my mask on. Now, I have an alarm croc. 1.2778 0.05918 90 70 15 5
2215 I wanted a literary agent with teeth 1.2778 0.05480 90 68 19 3
2216 Do you want that in paperback or alligator skin? 1.2778 0.06324 72 55 14 3
2217 I have Gator here to help customers to think twice about bringing their dogs with them when they shop. 1.2778 0.06915 72 57 10 5
2218 His bite is bigger than his bark. 1.2778 0.05918 90 70 15 5
2219 We're closed. 1.2778 0.05842 72 56 13 3
2220 Why yes, we do carry the complete works of Kafka. 1.2778 0.06007 72 54 16 2
2221 Drain the Swamp” now available in hard copy 1.2778 0.05918 90 70 15 5
2222 Would you like your parking stub validated? 1.2778 0.06126 90 71 13 6
2223 Excuse me, is this Crock’s and Brentano’s ? 1.2773 0.04910 119 91 23 5
2224 It's vegan leather. 1.2772 0.05097 101 76 22 3
2225 Cats aren't my thing. 1.2772 0.05650 101 79 16 6
2226 Well, that may be true, but at least he’ll work retail. 1.2772 0.05097 101 76 22 3
2227 He's from Maurice Sendak's book "Alligators All Around", he would make a good pet if you want him. 1.2771 0.06708 83 67 9 7
2228 Turns out another difference is that alligators are illiterate whereas crocodiles love french realism. 1.2771 0.05766 83 63 17 3
2229 Don't worry. She's still digesting the latest reader. 1.2771 0.05766 83 63 17 3
2230 Her name is fluffy ,you can pet her if you like. 1.2771 0.06255 83 65 13 5
2231 We had a wildebeest in the mammal section, but I haven’t seen her in a while. 1.2771 0.05505 83 62 19 2
2232 Be careful reaching for a book,or you'll arm our new anti-theft device. 1.2771 0.05505 83 62 19 2
2233 He's my emotional support alligator 1.2771 0.05766 83 63 17 3
2234 The publisher is here for the day. 1.2771 0.06255 83 65 13 5
2235 We are not extinct, yet. 1.2771 0.05505 83 62 19 2
2236 We’re trying Snapchat to appeal to the younger generation 1.2771 0.06015 83 64 15 4
2237 I think you'll find his recommendations in contemporary poetry refreshingly sublime. 1.2769 0.06395 65 49 14 2
2238 We call him "Shoes". 1.2769 0.06761 65 50 12 3
2239 He came for the grunge lit and stayed for the ecofiction. 1.2769 0.06761 65 50 12 3
2240 I started bringing him to work during the pandemic and he refuses to let me leave home without him. 1.2766 0.05327 94 71 20 3
2241 Yes. All our items are leather bound. 1.2763 0.05803 76 57 17 2
2242 He's the only one who showed up for the job interview. 1.2763 0.06649 76 60 11 5
2243 He prefers alligator. Don’t use the C word. 1.2763 0.06098 76 58 15 3
2244 He gets a bit lonely in the leather-bound hardback section 1.2763 0.06098 76 58 15 3
2245 He's partial to J. M. Barrie, if you know what's good for you! 1.2763 0.06379 76 59 13 4
2246 Don’t worry. I fed him the last customer. 1.2763 0.06908 76 61 9 6
2247 I see that you have been here before! 1.2763 0.06649 76 60 11 5
2248 The suspense section is to my right. 1.2763 0.06379 76 59 13 4
2249 The idea was Bibliophile Crocodile, but too late we realized he’s just an alligator 1.2763 0.05803 76 57 17 2
2250 Don’t worry, he’s only here on Mondays 1.2763 0.06379 76 59 13 4
2251 You'd better get the good book deals before someone else snaps it up 1.2762 0.05327 105 81 19 5
2252 I hope you're a southpaw. Don't let Al get that one, too. 1.2762 0.05327 105 81 19 5
2253 Theft is way down. 1.2759 0.05824 87 67 16 4
2254 Crocs are in again. 1.2759 0.05824 87 67 16 4
2255 Shoplifting has really fallen off this last month for some reason. 1.2759 0.05824 87 67 16 4
2256 These predatory online retailers are eating up independent bookstores like ours. 1.2759 0.08080 58 47 6 5
2257 Mister, you asked for the best-seller of the year from Amazon, do you want it or not? 1.2759 0.05590 87 66 18 3
2258 Unfortunately, we scheduled the author signing at feeding time. 1.2759 0.06049 87 68 14 5
2259 « Inflation is even hitting the swamps so Al here needed a free place to crash for a bit. » 1.2759 0.06266 87 69 12 6
2260 Snappy cover 1.2759 0.05824 87 67 16 4
2261 I have one leather back left 1.2759 0.05590 87 66 18 3
2262 Ultimately, it's been more effective than the sign about masking 1.2759 0.06476 87 70 10 7
2263 It's the launch day of the Steve Irwin Australia Zoo story, for $10 he'll sign them 1.2755 0.05942 98 78 13 7
2264 He’s actually a great mouser. 1.2755 0.05385 98 75 19 4
2265 My assistant handles the beach reads. 1.2755 0.05762 98 77 15 6
2266 Staff picks? Who has staff these days? 1.2755 0.05577 98 76 17 5
2267 We find he's better for security than a shop cat. 1.2754 0.07411 69 56 7 6
2268 We're diversifying. Might come back to bite us. 1.2754 0.06154 69 52 15 2
2269 If you don’t care for a book, can I interest you in a belt or pair of shoes”” 1.2752 0.05354 109 85 18 6
2270 Feel free to browse... 1.2750 0.05618 80 60 18 2
2271 We’ve had a problem with people stealing books. 1.2750 0.06156 80 62 14 4
2272 They used to have a bookstore cat, but it did nothing to stop shoplifters. 1.2750 0.06650 80 64 10 6
2273 His name is Social Distance. 1.2750 0.06408 80 63 12 5
2274 He's fond of Chaucer, but, honestly, he'll consume anything leather bound. 1.2750 0.06156 80 62 14 4
2275 No, this is an alligator. ‘C’ authors are by the crocodile. 1.2750 0.06156 80 62 14 4
2276 How would you like to pay? Cash, card, or limb? 1.2750 0.06650 80 64 10 6
2277 Look, I’ll level with you. This place stopped being a bookstore quite some time ago. 1.2750 0.06408 80 63 12 5
2278 Don’t judge a book by its cover— he’s harmless. 1.2750 0.05153 120 94 19 7
2279 Yes, you can browse, but you need to be quick. 1.2750 0.05893 80 61 16 3
2280 He makes sure you don't take books into the restroom 1.2750 0.05618 80 60 18 2
2281 I thought you said you'll never be able to buy books in here again, Lefty? 1.2750 0.06156 80 62 14 4
2282 There’s nothing like devouring a good novel. Just ask this guy. 1.2750 0.05893 80 61 16 3
2283 This is Dewey the Decimator 1.2750 0.05893 80 61 16 3
2284 Obviously, this IS the Lacoste section Sir 1.2750 0.05893 80 61 16 3
2285 He ate the python. 1.2747 0.06264 91 73 11 7
2286 She identifies as a bookworm 1.2747 0.06264 91 73 11 7
2287 Welcome to our leather book binding workshop. 1.2747 0.06264 91 73 11 7
2288 We’ve had a lot of shoplifters. 1.2747 0.06066 91 72 13 6
2289 I know, but he's toilet trained and doesn't bark. 1.2742 0.06963 62 48 11 3
2290 Any questions about nature, ask Lumpy. 1.2740 0.06830 73 58 10 5
2291 Cats and unattended children, why do you ask? 1.2740 0.07103 73 59 8 6
2292 He's perfected the whole snappy answers to stupid questions thing. 1.2740 0.06546 73 57 12 4
2293 You said you wanted something that would grab you. 1.2740 0.06248 73 56 14 3
2294 Trust me: it’s an iZod. 1.2740 0.06830 73 58 10 5
2295 And with the croc, that comes to $782.95. 1.2740 0.06546 73 57 12 4
2296 Sorry, we don't have it. He snapped up all our best sellers. 1.2740 0.05256 73 53 20 0
2297 He's consulting on avoiding extinction. 1.2740 0.06546 73 57 12 4
2298 Do not say "See you later ....." He hates that joke. 1.2738 0.06189 84 66 13 5
2299 Just so you know, the store closes in ten minutes. Then we release the crocodile. 1.2738 0.05952 84 65 15 4
2300 I ordered a pair of Crocs for work." 1.2738 0.06189 84 66 13 5
2301 He's our version of a bull in a china shop. 1.2738 0.05952 84 65 15 4
2302 When I leave, do I say to her "see you later" or "in a while"? 1.2738 0.06189 84 66 13 5
2303 Please keep six feet distance between staff and customers at all times. 1.2738 0.06189 84 66 13 5
2304 They were out of seeing eye dogs so they gave me this cat. 1.2738 0.06416 84 67 11 6
2305 'The New Yorker caption contest is a philistine insult to the art of cartooning and a depressing repository of sub-Dilbert dad jokery that a publication that supposedly champions cartoon art should be fucking ashamed of' 1.2738 0.06849 84 69 7 8
2306 Your customer. 1.2738 0.05952 84 65 15 4
2307 I ordered her from the Amazon. 1.2737 0.06068 95 76 12 7
2308 He enforces our 'no reading in the store' policy 1.2737 0.05279 95 72 20 3
2309 He cries when someone tries to haggle over a price. 1.2737 0.05487 95 73 18 4
2310 So sorry about your order. "Taming the Everglades" is out of print. But good news! We have the next best thing! 1.2727 0.06671 66 51 12 3
2311 We used to have more readers than buyers. Since Greta, not so much. 1.2727 0.07012 66 52 10 4
2312 The author is not available at this time for book signing, but this is his closest collaborator and the actual subject of the unfinished memoir. 1.2727 0.06203 88 70 12 6
2313 We've a lot more rare books since he arrived!" 1.2727 0.06410 88 71 10 7
2314 See you later, Walter Pater." "After a while, Ernie Pyle. 1.2727 0.05527 99 77 17 5
2315 She's a literary critic. 1.2727 0.07337 66 53 8 5
2316 She like warm spots in the sun and belly rubs, so she’s the store cat until she decides otherwise. 1.2727 0.05739 77 58 17 2
2317 Come on in. We don't bite. 1.2727 0.06671 66 51 12 3
2318 It's a rare, autographed first edition, bound in obviously unusual leather. 1.2727 0.06306 77 60 13 4
2319 He purrs best when sleeping on naturally bound covers. 1.2727 0.06671 66 51 12 3
2320 Fewer than are allergic to cats. 1.2727 0.06306 77 60 13 4
2321 Interesting choice of security for a book store. 1.2727 0.07012 66 52 10 4
2322 He tears up at the news these days. 1.2727 0.05535 88 67 18 3
2323 It's "see you later." You don't want to know what happens if you say "in a while." 1.2727 0.05739 77 58 17 2
2324 I’m allergic to dogs and cats. 1.2727 0.05140 99 75 21 3
2325 Better put a mask on, or it’s “See ya later…” 1.2727 0.06827 77 62 9 6
2326 Yes, we’re a bookstore; people come here to see things that haven’t evolved in five million years. 1.2727 0.05535 88 67 18 3
2327 The alligator handles all returns. 1.2727 0.06029 77 59 15 3
2328 I need some gator aid 1.2727 0.06572 77 61 11 5
2329 Here at Kestrel Books we have everything for the discerning man. 1.2727 0.05988 88 69 14 5
2330 Figured I’d try to be more like Amazon 1.2727 0.05273 77 59 16 2
2331 Nice shoes. 1.2727 0.06029 77 59 15 3
2332 By your store name I thought I would find books on falcons, not alligators on books. 1.2727 0.05140 99 75 21 3
2333 Is it me or is there an elephant in the room? 1.2727 0.06312 66 50 14 2
2334 Customer: how’s your new shoplifting security working out? 1.2718 0.05012 103 78 22 3
2335 Section 6: Writers who leave the book signing early are subject to penalty, at the discretion of the store owner. 1.2718 0.05198 103 79 20 4
2336 Once you open it you can't put it down. 1.2717 0.06007 92 73 13 6
2337 Don’t worry, he’s my therapy pet. 1.2717 0.05595 92 71 17 4
2338 Actually,we *were* a mom, pop, and alligator store. 1.2717 0.06202 92 74 11 7
2339 He likes to sink his teeth into a good read. 1.2717 0.05595 92 71 17 4
2340 You won't find it cheaper on Amazon. 1.2717 0.05804 92 72 15 5
2341 Don’t mind him he’s just looking for something to get his teeth into. 1.2717 0.05150 92 69 21 2
2342 I was never a cat or dog person 1.2717 0.05804 92 72 15 5
2343 „They drained the swamp and he had no place to stay” 1.2717 0.05595 92 71 17 4
2344 That's the restricted section. 1.2716 0.05830 81 62 16 3
2345 Customers tend to find the book in this section to be inaccessible. 1.2716 0.06089 81 63 14 4
2346 We found him where we get our literature,in the sewer. 1.2716 0.05830 81 62 16 3
2347 Choose wisely he's a New York literary critic." Jake Ashburn, Columbus, Ohi 1.2716 0.06576 81 65 10 6
2348 He's actually very friendly...But I'm guessing we won't be seeing you later." 1.2716 0.06576 81 65 10 6
2349 She's recovering from bookworms. 1.2716 0.05559 81 61 18 2
2350 Some killer non-fiction just came in. 1.2714 0.06410 70 54 13 3
2351 After reading it he fancies himself a Moby Dick, just waiting for his Ahab to reachout. 1.2714 0.06078 70 53 15 2
2352 Aw, snap, nice tie. 1.2714 0.06078 70 53 15 2
2353 Can't you see we're swamped right now? 1.2714 0.06725 70 55 11 4
2354 Please just ignore Otis. He is only my therapy companion. 1.2714 0.07026 70 56 9 5
2355 Another inveterate reader. Sherie Neufeld Overland Park, KS 1.2714 0.06725 70 55 11 4
2356 Returns? Right here. 1.2714 0.06725 70 55 11 4
2357 Wait 'til you see what we have in our politics section. 1.2712 0.07184 59 46 10 3
2358 He absolutely loved Peter Pan. 1.2712 0.07580 59 47 8 4
2359 I ordered the latest Gaiman, that’s a G. 1.2712 0.07580 59 47 8 4
2360 This book will hunt you forever. 1.2710 0.05405 107 84 17 6
2361 He’s complementary with a $100 purchase. 1.2708 0.04907 96 74 19 3
2362 Unfortunately, our store policy is exchange only. 1.2708 0.05826 96 76 14 6
2363 I suggest you leave sir. It's almost lunch hour. 1.2706 0.05891 85 66 15 4
2364 His name is Herekittykittyaghhhhhhh! 1.2706 0.05891 85 66 15 4
2365 The cat died. 1.2706 0.05394 85 64 19 2
2366 You have to be the tenth person today who asked about him 1.2706 0.06124 85 67 13 5
2367 She just snapped up the last copy. 1.2706 0.05648 85 65 17 3
2368 We call this the Allegory section. 1.2706 0.05648 85 65 17 3
2369 I started reading to him as a hatchling, and now it’s come to this. 1.2706 0.05648 85 65 17 3
2370 Yes it’s a handpuppet, yes it makes sounds and yes it comes with the book. .. Because they had to do something to compete with the iPads, Larry. Five year olds aren’t impressed easily these days 1.2706 0.05891 85 66 15 4
2371 He's in charge of Security!!! 1.2703 0.06747 74 59 10 5
2372 We specialize in things you can't find on Amazon. 1.2703 0.06174 74 57 14 3
2373 We're been swamped with requests for that title. 1.2703 0.06747 74 59 10 5
2374 You know you’re In Florida… 1.2703 0.06747 74 59 10 5
2375 He got used to me working from home 1.2703 0.05867 74 56 16 2
2376 Hello, if you have any feedback, our customer service representative can assist you. 1.2703 0.06467 74 58 12 4
2377 It's her first novel, " Death on the Nile". 1.2700 0.05660 100 79 15 6
2378 He’s really taken a bite out of my shrinkage. 1.2700 0.05478 100 78 17 5
2379 I’m minding my daughter’s pet. Don’t worry, it’s already eaten today. 1.2698 0.06866 63 49 11 3
2380 You've heard of bodega cats? This is a bookstore crocodile. It's a thing. 1.2698 0.06866 63 49 11 3
2381 He's the book critic, not security. 1.2698 0.07229 63 50 9 4
2382 This guy says he wants to speak with the manager. 1.2698 0.07229 63 50 9 4
2383 He's our security guard. 1.2697 0.05481 89 68 18 3
2384 I haven't got to your manuscript. I'm simply swamped. 1.2697 0.05481 89 68 18 3
2385 He's cheaper than a security guard. 1.2697 0.05481 89 68 18 3
2386 Petty theft was doing a number on my bottom line. 1.2697 0.06140 89 71 12 6
2387 And of course, we have the latest from Ann Coulter. 1.2697 0.05481 89 68 18 3
2388 It was either him or my mother-in-law. 1.2697 0.05709 89 69 16 4
2389 No, he’s not done compiling his summer reading list yet, check back next week. 1.2697 0.05243 89 67 20 2
2390 We’ve transitioned to a more immersive experience. 1.2697 0.05709 89 69 16 4
2391 I’d like something that I can really get my head into. 1.2697 0.05709 89 69 16 4
2392 Last time I checked, we don't stock Moleskines. 1.2692 0.06235 78 61 13 4
2393 Cash, credit or water buffalo? 1.2692 0.06496 78 62 11 5
2394 Kestrel is her name, not species 1.2692 0.06748 78 63 9 6
2395 What shoplifting? 1.2692 0.05672 104 83 14 7
2396 It says here that he is harmless and pedigreed..... 1.2692 0.06496 78 62 11 5
2397 No, actually it’s an alligator. 1.2692 0.06235 78 61 13 4
2398 We feed him a lot of wildlife books, but it's just not the same. 1.2692 0.05374 78 58 19 1
2399 We strictly enforce our No Pets Allowed policy. 1.2692 0.06496 78 62 11 5
2400 I think you'll like this new biting satire 1.2692 0.06496 78 62 11 5
2401 He’s got a lot to learn about how to run a cash register, but not as much as I have to learn about how to devastate a wildebeest. 1.2692 0.04779 104 78 24 2
2402 He's my toughest critic. 1.2692 0.05962 78 60 15 3
2403 ... don't worry, she's vegetarian and likes Chaucer... 1.2692 0.05672 104 83 14 7
2404 Turns out the author for today's book signing sent a ghost writer. 1.2692 0.05962 78 60 15 3
2405 You know, it's all about adding value to the brick-and-mortar experience. 1.2692 0.06748 78 63 9 6
2406 He's here to promote the "Draining the Swamp" series. 1.2688 0.05749 93 73 15 5
2407 He doesn't like people who aren't careful with the books they haven't paid for. 1.2688 0.05949 93 74 13 6
2408 He replaced the elephant. 1.2688 0.05542 93 72 17 4
2409 Remember sir, don’t judge a book by its cover. 1.2688 0.05542 93 72 17 4
2410 Ever since Peter Pan, he’s curated his favorite books portraying reptiles. 1.2688 0.05949 93 74 13 6
2411 He’s stays by my side so much rarely ever do I say see you later. 1.2688 0.05542 93 72 17 4
2412 Darwin's book on Natural Selection? Well, we've got this leather-bound copy. 1.2687 0.07544 67 55 6 6
2413 No, this one is Brentano. 1.2687 0.07238 67 54 8 5
2414 Sorry, the book signing event is canceled 1.2687 0.05856 67 50 16 1
2415 He thinks Florida is not what it used to be any longer .. 1.2687 0.06230 67 51 14 2
2416 Why Yes, he is the critically acclaimed author who turned back the clock and rewrote the ending to Peter Pan 1.2687 0.07238 67 54 8 5
2417 We figured sorting books by animal was an improvement over the Dewey Decimal System. 1.2687 0.07544 67 55 6 6
2418 Bodega cats are so 2019 1.2685 0.05197 108 84 19 5
2419 We haven’t had a shoplifter in three years. 1.2683 0.06023 82 64 14 4
2420 Do you want a tear jerker, or a crocodile tear jerker? 1.2683 0.06268 82 65 12 5
2421 We used to have a cat, but she quit and took a part-time job at a bookstore uptown. So we hired Al here. He doesn't do that much, but he only eats once every week or so, mostly at book signings. 1.2683 0.06023 82 64 14 4
2422 Are you here for the eat the author event? 1.2683 0.06023 82 64 14 4
2423 Yeah, he’s a voracious reader. 1.2683 0.05501 82 62 18 2
2424 If you buy one with a leather binding, you're on your own. 1.2683 0.05768 82 63 16 3
2425 He has a voracious appetite for the well read. 1.2683 0.06268 82 65 12 5
2426 If you get the book before he gets your hand, the second book is free. 1.2683 0.06023 82 64 14 4
2427 He's a voracious reader and a huge Carl Hiaasen fan! 1.2683 0.06268 82 65 12 5
2428 What happened to your shop cat? 1.2683 0.05501 82 62 18 2
2429 He won't bite you as long as you are both on the same page. 1.2683 0.05768 82 63 16 3
2430 This gator prefers bodies of knowledge over bodies of water. 1.2683 0.06023 82 64 14 4
2431 What! He ate the bird which was our mascot so we decided to keep him . Less trouble with people who want to linger. 1.2683 0.05768 82 63 16 3
2432 It comes with a book of instructions for making your own shoes and matching manbag. 1.2683 0.05362 82 64 15 3
2433 He’s here for the climate change rally. 1.2683 0.05768 82 63 16 3
2434 He’s my literary support lizard. 1.2680 0.06133 97 79 10 8
2435 It’s a long tale. 1.2680 0.05388 97 75 18 4
2436 This is the visiting Mother In Law repeller.... 1.2680 0.05388 97 75 18 4
2437 The security system company said there was a chip shortage. 1.2680 0.05388 97 75 18 4
2438 Are you here to finish reading Amazing Reptiles for free ? 1.2680 0.05584 97 76 16 5
2439 Here for her book signing? 1.2679 0.07850 56 45 7 4
2440 Our in-store experience could never be replaced by Amazon. 1.2676 0.06937 71 57 9 5
2441 Says here "near mint, minor flaws, devours the classics". 1.2676 0.06004 71 54 15 2
2442 Have you found your lost pomeranian? 1.2676 0.06330 71 55 13 3
2443 He’s a crocodile AND a bibliophile! 1.2676 0.06330 71 55 13 3
2444 Are you looking for a book to read or a book to eat? 1.2676 0.07221 71 58 7 6
2445 He's a rescue. I got him from the sewer department. 1.2676 0.06330 71 55 13 3
2446 In Cold Blood? Let me check if we have it... 1.2676 0.06330 71 55 13 3
2447 You can speak with him if you have a problem wearing a mask. 1.2676 0.07221 71 58 7 6
2448 We got him to help readers digest. 1.2674 0.06282 86 69 11 6
2449 I can never tell the difference. Shall I see you later or in awhile? 1.2674 0.06060 86 68 13 5
2450 His name is Jeff 1.2674 0.05591 86 66 17 3
2451 I’m sorry, the meet and greet with Lyle has been rescheduled. 1.2674 0.05830 86 67 15 4
2452 Punch your frequent-buyer card? 1.2674 0.05830 86 67 15 4
2453 We used to have a cat in the shop but we haven’t seen him lately. 1.2674 0.05830 86 67 15 4
2454 Ah, yes, and we have a particularly vivid travel guide to the Florida Everglades. 1.2674 0.05830 86 67 15 4
2455 Proof of vaccination, please 1.2673 0.05610 101 80 15 6
2456 This is a bookstore, pal - not a library 1.2667 0.05112 105 81 20 4
2457 From Amazon. We don't know if it was intentional or a mistake. 1.2667 0.05799 75 57 16 2
2458 Does he bite? Not as often as you’d… Not really. 1.2667 0.07835 60 49 6 5
2459 Uh-huh, and he's hypo-allergenic to boot. 1.2667 0.06667 75 60 10 5
2460 I ordered a copy of 'A History of Aquatic Reptiles', but apparently there was a misunderstanding." 1.2667 0.06102 75 58 14 3
2461 We’ve had a bit of theft lately. 1.2667 0.05288 105 82 18 5
2462 He's here to help snap purchasers understand our 'No Refunds' policy. 1.2667 0.05799 75 57 16 2
2463 He's a very effective swear jar. 1.2667 0.06391 75 59 12 4
2464 Didn't he used to live on 88th Street? 1.2667 0.07466 60 48 8 4
2465 You can count on him for biting criticism. 1.2667 0.06391 75 59 12 4
2466 We met on RESILIENT, the endangered species dating app. 1.2667 0.05653 90 70 16 4
2467 Of course he's mine. Why? 1.2667 0.05653 90 70 16 4
2468 It's a thesaurus. 1.2667 0.06932 75 61 8 6
2469 He only gets upset when people say they didn't like my book. 1.2667 0.05480 75 56 18 1
2470 It’s our own little bit of Amazon. 1.2667 0.06667 60 46 12 2
2471 He's less aloof than the shop cat we had. 1.2667 0.06391 75 59 12 4
2472 I have to figure out some way to compete with those online booksellers. 1.2667 0.05799 75 57 16 2
2473 Of course he's upset. You said "See you later." He's a crocodile. 1.2667 0.05428 90 69 18 3
2474 He thrives on bookworms. 1.2667 0.06667 75 60 10 5
2475 All I know is that people have stopped calling me 'book worm.'" 1.2667 0.07078 60 47 10 3
2476 I don't think C.O.D. means 'Crocodile On Delivery.' 1.2667 0.05870 90 71 14 5
2477 Don’t worry…he’s fully Vaccinated. 1.2667 0.05653 90 70 16 4
2478 We keep hearing that our sales are going to the Amazon, so we brought the Amazon to our stores! 1.2667 0.05112 105 81 20 4
2479 It's our new carbon neutral organic waste disposal unit. 1.2667 0.05458 105 83 16 6
2480 Don’t worry about him. He only eats Kindles. 1.2667 0.07466 60 48 8 4
2481 His name is Cuomo. Don’t worry about him — you’re not his type. 1.2660 0.05490 94 73 17 4
2482 Let me tell you about our returns policy. 1.2660 0.05490 94 73 17 4
2483 Will you be wanting a hand with your books? 1.2660 0.05892 94 75 13 6
2484 He couldn't take Florida anymore. 1.2658 0.06423 79 63 11 5
2485 Him? Oh, don’t worry. He’s vaccinated. 1.2658 0.06423 79 63 11 5
2486 He enforces our “No Dogs Allowed” policy. 1.2658 0.05896 79 61 15 3
2487 Don't judge a book by its gator 1.2658 0.06165 79 62 13 4
2488 He's a croc - so don't say "See you later alligator" 1.2658 0.05317 79 59 19 1
2489 The state started pairing endangered animals with endangered businesses for mutual supervision. 1.2658 0.06165 79 62 13 4
2490 Those books are free. Help yourself. 1.2658 0.05896 79 61 15 3
2491 Welcome to Kestrel's Rare Books & Species. How may I help you? 1.2656 0.07468 64 52 7 5
2492 We only allow comfort pets in the store. 1.2656 0.06771 64 50 11 3
2493 He loves making pictures of himself on the copier! 1.2656 0.06771 64 50 11 3
2494 That book is a crock. 1.2656 0.07128 64 51 9 4
2495 She’s just an alligator, looking at a customer and asking him to love her. 1.2656 0.06394 64 49 13 2
2496 Listen. Buy the collected works and you get the croc free 1.2656 0.06771 64 50 11 3
2497 His name is Kestrel. 1.2653 0.05533 98 77 16 5
2498 He mostly wants to read books about the Everglades. 1.2651 0.05444 83 63 18 2
2499 He goes through books at an amazing rate. 1.2651 0.05707 83 64 16 3
2500 Our new deterrent to book thieves. 1.2651 0.05707 83 64 16 3
2501 He's my therapy gator. 1.2651 0.06201 83 66 12 5
2502 Yes,completely tame. It says so right here. 1.2651 0.05959 83 65 14 4
2503 Looks like you’ve come in to review the new books we’ve added to our active amphibian collection. 1.2651 0.05959 83 65 14 4
2504 Don't worry. Snappy doesn't bite. 1.2651 0.05444 83 63 18 2
2505 I caught the Mississippi Delta variant 1.2651 0.06201 83 66 12 5
2506 Because he likes the view. 1.2651 0.06433 83 67 10 6
2507 His legal name is Amazon Prime but we call him Jeff for short 1.2651 0.05835 83 67 11 5
2508 Latest thing from Amazon 1.2647 0.07141 68 55 8 5
2509 Some critics say it's profound, but I think it's a crock. 1.2647 0.06827 68 54 10 4
2510 Oh, I see here we were supposed to have ordered a book on alligators. 1.2647 0.05009 102 78 21 3
2511 Yes, you can pet him. But only twice. 1.2647 0.06498 68 53 12 3
2512 They’re still technically leather bound… 1.2647 0.06498 68 53 12 3
2513 Herman here is a reminder to all the customers that this is a book shop and NOT a library. 1.2647 0.06498 68 53 12 3
2514 Nobody’s applying. 1.2647 0.05732 102 82 13 7
2515 We take diversity very seriously 1.2647 0.07141 68 55 8 5
2516 ...and, this is our section on climate change. 1.2644 0.05771 87 68 15 4
2517 No, sales have been fine. Why? 1.2644 0.04894 87 67 18 2
2518 He came as a sample; they thought we specialized in boots. 1.2644 0.05998 87 69 13 5
2519 In Florida, alligators are no longer the most dangerous things in stores. 1.2644 0.05288 87 66 19 2
2520 You know how it ends, but it still sneaks up on you. 1.2644 0.05771 87 68 15 4
2521 Our leather bound books are out of stock but we do have this 1.2644 0.05771 87 68 15 4
2522 Unfortunately we have no leather bound books at this time. However we do have a new material option that is just out on the market.... 1.2642 0.05244 106 83 18 5
2523 Credit, debit, or mangle it? 1.2639 0.07130 72 59 7 6
2524 A friendly reminder: read after buying. 1.2639 0.06558 72 57 11 4
2525 As a result of weather instability, he felt the need to relocate to a more intellectual climate. 1.2639 0.05592 72 54 17 1
2526 That one's a real nail biter. 1.2639 0.06558 72 57 11 4
2527 You think he's big? You should see his litter box. 1.2639 0.06558 72 57 11 4
2528 Oh nice! Your prespapier has the same pattern as my wallet 1.2639 0.06558 72 57 11 4
2529 The Carl Hiaasen reading was last night.” 1.2637 0.05599 91 71 16 4
2530 Books--and you--are food for thought. 1.2632 0.05733 76 58 16 2
2531 It keeps away the Karens. 1.2632 0.06032 76 59 14 3
2532 He swore on a stack of bibles he wouldn't eat anybody 1.2632 0.06867 57 44 11 2
2533 We had a poll. 44 percent of customers thought Esther was an alligator. 50 percent thought she was a crocodile. She ate 6 % and so not sure what they thought. 1.2632 0.05733 76 58 16 2
2534 He knows if you turn around and order online. 1.2632 0.07726 57 46 7 4
2535 Making him apologize is unlikely to restore your arm. 1.2632 0.06588 76 61 10 5
2536 So, sorry, no. I couldn't fit an elephant in the room. 1.2632 0.06032 76 59 14 3
2537 And now your other arm 1.2632 0.06316 76 60 12 4
2538 He keeps the cats away. 1.2632 0.06316 76 60 12 4
2539 Our political ‘Swamp’ section is to your left. 1.2632 0.05733 76 58 16 2
2540 He's in charge of the leather-bound. 1.2632 0.07309 57 45 9 3
2541 Sorry for the wait, we’re swamped. 1.2632 0.05733 76 58 16 2
2542 For some reason he's partial to Melville." 1.2632 0.06032 76 59 14 3
2543 What? It’s a bring your pet to work day. 1.2632 0.06316 76 60 12 4
2544 Our special today: you get to leave the store unharmed if you buy a book, any book. 1.2626 0.05668 99 79 14 6
2545 If you prefer the local library I hear they have a caiman on work study. 1.2626 0.05483 99 78 16 5
2546 It's our new paper hole punching tool. 1.2625 0.06350 80 64 11 5
2547 Oddly,, I've seen him react to some kinds of shoes,, 1.2625 0.05831 80 62 15 3
2548 He had an impressive Linkedin profile. 1.2625 0.06350 80 64 11 5
2549 Corporate doesn’t approve of his methods, but they can’t deny sales have gone way up. 1.2625 0.05260 80 60 19 1
2550 Sure, he miscategorizes the books, but he works for scale. 1.2625 0.06350 80 64 11 5
2551 This new release will really grab you. 1.2625 0.06096 80 63 13 4
2552 No, my alligator isn’t circumcised. Why do you ask? 1.2625 0.05260 80 60 19 1
2553 Your recommendation last time was a croc. 1.2625 0.05831 80 62 15 3
2554 He has a biting humor. 1.2625 0.06096 80 63 13 4
2555 The ad read “Rare book bound in alligator.” 1.2625 0.05831 80 62 15 3
2556 Cerberus doesn't like the phrase 'just browsing.' 1.2625 0.05831 80 62 15 3
2557 Shoplift at your own risk. 1.2625 0.05553 80 61 17 2
2558 The kestrel should be back any moment if you want to pet him instead. 1.2625 0.06096 80 63 13 4
2559 I've never had a customer bounce a check. 1.2625 0.05831 80 62 15 3
2560 It says if you don’t put your mask back on, she has the right to eat you 1.2625 0.06096 80 63 13 4
2561 Make it snappy. 1.2623 0.06571 61 47 12 2
2562 Yeah, it’s not exactly the leather back edition I thought of either. 1.2623 0.07356 61 49 8 4
2563 Think it's time to flush him yet? 1.2621 0.05155 103 80 19 4
2564 You did say you’d give your right arm to eliminate the shop-lifting! 1.2619 0.06364 84 68 10 6
2565 Regrettably, the author is no longer signing books. 1.2619 0.06135 84 67 12 5
2566 What seems to be the problem sir? 1.2619 0.06135 84 67 12 5
2567 She's waiting for an alligator skin briefcase. 1.2619 0.05648 84 65 16 3
2568 He's fine as long as you don't have a Kindle. 1.2619 0.06135 84 67 12 5
2569 Only two applications were submitted for the job opening - it was either him or a millennial. 1.2619 0.06364 84 68 10 6
2570 Oh, don't worry, he's just read Nietzsche and is having a crisis of Nihilism. 1.2619 0.06135 84 67 12 5
2571 Frankly, it's one of our least popular 'choose your own adventure' books … 1.2619 0.06364 84 68 10 6
2572 He's waiting for Bezos. 1.2619 0.06364 84 68 10 6
2573 What can I say? I’m dyslexic. I thought I asked for books on alligators. 1.2619 0.05648 84 65 16 3
2574 It’s what they call click bait 1.2619 0.05896 84 66 14 4
2575 Meet the author of The Vanishing Everglades. Clawtograph copies available. 1.2617 0.05529 107 86 14 7
2576 Says here it's a 'Leather-bound import with a first section that'll really grab you.' 1.2615 0.06678 65 51 11 3
2577 Dunno what happened to the cat. 1.2615 0.07363 65 53 7 5
2578 Rebecca is the author of the new book; but would prefer if you did not kiss her. 1.2615 0.07029 65 52 9 4
2579 Once you pick it up, you can't put it down. 1.2615 0.06678 65 51 11 3
2580 It seems happiest with the leather-bounds. 1.2615 0.06308 65 50 13 2
2581 It's ok, he's already had lunch 1.2615 0.06678 65 51 11 3
2582 They are being snapped up pretty fast. 1.2615 0.06308 65 50 13 2
2583 No, we haven't had any shoplifters since the arm and a leg incident. 1.2615 0.06308 65 50 13 2
2584 We have a strict policy on shoplifting. 1.2615 0.06308 65 50 13 2
2585 Actually it's an alligator. Crocs have bad tempers. 1.2614 0.05713 88 69 15 4
2586 He prefers Lacoste to Crocodile 1.2614 0.05713 88 69 15 4
2587 He's just waiting for his Uber. 1.2614 0.05713 88 69 15 4
2588 He’s a leather bound original 1.2614 0.06153 88 71 11 6
2589 We're diversifying. 1.2614 0.05480 88 68 17 3
2590 I wanted a voracious reader, but this voracious feeder stole my heart. 1.2614 0.05236 88 67 19 2
2591 That one is a nail biter 1.2614 0.05937 88 70 13 5
2592 Good morning Mr Barnes meet our newest employee: Aly Gates, it’s her first day and she is killing it! 1.2614 0.05480 88 68 17 3
2593 He's in charge of the hard covers. 1.2614 0.05480 88 68 17 3
2594 Masks are optional; we emphasize social distancing. 1.2609 0.06073 69 53 14 2
2595 ...and just like that, no more noisy 'therapy pets'. 1.2609 0.06414 69 54 12 3
2596 It came with another "How To" book. 1.2609 0.06738 69 55 10 4
2597 Oh, don’t mind Stanley. He’s only into non-fictional characters. 1.2609 0.05711 69 52 16 1
2598 Surprised me too. I could have sworn he was a crocodile. 1.2609 0.06073 69 53 14 2
2599 She's for browsers who decide they'd prefer an Amazon experience. 1.2609 0.06738 69 55 10 4
2600 The cliche is true...a bibliophile crocodile. 1.2609 0.07048 69 56 8 5
2601 If you’re looking for the “A” section, you might have to come back tomorrow. 1.2609 0.06414 69 54 12 3
2602 Don’t worry. He’s stuffed. 1.2609 0.06738 69 55 10 4
2603 Does it come with a dust jacket? 1.2609 0.06073 69 53 14 2
2604 He really loves to be petted on his head, but just don't touch any other part of his body because he'll nip... 1.2609 0.06073 69 53 14 2
2605 Lacoste is sure taking their advertising up a notch! 1.2609 0.07344 69 57 6 6
2606 Careful,some of these plot lines will really grab you. 1.2609 0.06414 69 54 12 3
2607 He's kinda down. A reviewer called his new bock a 'crock' and he's taking it personally. 1.2609 0.07048 69 56 8 5
2608 I'm not sure if it's autographed - the author disappeared during the signing event. 1.2609 0.07048 69 56 8 5
2609 Yes. We cover everything from alligator to zephyr. 1.2609 0.03923 115 89 24 2
2610 Excuse him. We’ve been swamped. 1.2609 0.06414 69 54 12 3
2611 ‘We offer custom binding.’ 1.2609 0.06738 69 55 10 4
2612 Can’t get one of these on Amazon, can you? 1.2609 0.05325 92 71 18 3
2613 Your book came in Mr Wintergreen 1.2609 0.07048 69 56 8 5
2614 Have you met my mother-in-law? 1.2609 0.05756 92 73 14 5
2615 analog amazon 1.2604 0.05589 96 76 15 5
2616 It's a promo for Carl Hiaasen's new book. 1.2604 0.06150 96 79 9 8
2617 When you drain the SWAMP, this is what you get! 1.2604 0.05389 96 75 17 4
2618 I see you’ve scaled up your staffing 1.2604 0.05589 96 76 15 5
2619 Unfortunately the pandemic has forced us to scale back our workforce. 1.2604 0.05589 96 76 15 5
2620 Ah... I see the 'books and crocs available' meant a whole different thing 1.2604 0.05182 96 74 19 3
2621 Ever wonder where they got that logo? 1.2603 0.06478 73 58 11 4
2622 If you kiss him, he'll turn into a best-selling author. 1.2603 0.06478 73 58 11 4
2623 The supplier screwed up. I clearly ordered the anaconda. 1.2603 0.05861 73 56 15 2
2624 Yes, we’ve consolidated our returns department; haven’t we, Bailey? 1.2603 0.05527 73 55 17 1
2625 This one is gripping. 1.2603 0.05861 73 56 15 2
2626 Our recent inventory showed that Fluffy was not doing a very good job of discouraging shoplifters. So, we decided to make a change. 1.2603 0.06478 73 58 11 4
2627 A new genre, well reviewed. The New Yorker called it "a heart-warming nature story with bite and verisimilitude, showing you can't judge a book by its cover." 1.2603 0.05861 73 56 15 2
2628 Instead of a guard dog we decided to try something a little different…. 1.2603 0.06177 73 57 13 3
2629 Oh him, he’s friendly 1.2603 0.05861 73 56 15 2
2630 The manuscript ends with "see you later alligator", but the author never showed up 1.2603 0.06765 73 59 9 5
2631 Yes, it is kinda bookworm. 1.2603 0.06177 73 57 13 3
2632 Just tell him not to say “Ahh”… 1.2600 0.05049 100 77 20 3
2633 Come on in! Devour a book with us! 1.2600 0.05245 100 78 18 4
2634 It’s some indication the store’s been swamped. 1.2597 0.05669 77 59 16 2
2635 We've really cut down on that pesky casual browsing. 1.2597 0.06511 77 62 10 5
2636 See here how books tame the beast in anyone! 1.2597 0.05963 77 60 14 3
2637 Never seen a Staple Remover? 1.2597 0.05669 77 59 16 2
2638 Paul Hogan, you missed him, he just made his weekly delivery. 1.2597 0.05669 77 59 16 2
2639 Let me guess, you're the investi-gator. 1.2597 0.05963 77 60 14 3
2640 What did you expect, times are tough and he agreed to be my paper punch 1.2597 0.06243 77 61 12 4
2641 Can I interest you in a leather-bound edition? 1.2597 0.05669 77 59 16 2
2642 Sorry to disappoint you; the gorilla has the week off. 1.2597 0.06243 77 61 12 4
2643 Don’t worry, he’s already had breakfast 1.2597 0.05963 77 60 14 3
2644 Literary appetites just haven’t kept up. 1.2597 0.06243 77 61 12 4
2645 Let’s just say he has a special taste for the shoppers who accidentally take out their e-readers while in the store. 1.2596 0.05291 104 82 17 5
2646 And this is the American History section. 1.2593 0.06029 81 64 13 4
2647 He won't move off the best sellers, but the classics and paperbacks are still pretty safe. 1.2593 0.05768 81 63 15 3
2648 She likes your crocs. 1.2593 0.06280 81 65 11 5
2649 If you buy a six pack of books,it comes with a free suitcase to carry them. 1.2593 0.06521 81 66 9 6
2650 It is a promotion: You buy 10 books, and you take him home! 1.2593 0.06280 81 65 11 5
2651 Ally is here promoting his sensational autobiography, "It Tastes Like Chicken To Me". 1.2593 0.05493 81 62 17 2
2652 Captain Hook has left the building. 1.2593 0.06029 81 64 13 4
2653 I'm looking for a book that illustrates the differences between alligators and crocodiles. 1.2593 0.05768 81 63 15 3
2654 Don't worry. It only sinks its teeth into big, meaty novels. 1.2593 0.05768 81 63 15 3
2655 He's taking a break from book signing. 1.2593 0.05493 81 62 17 2
2656 Did he want almond or oat milk in his coffee Jerry? 1.2593 0.06280 81 65 11 5
2657 Running a bookstore is easy and profitable. Just sign these - there is no catch 1.2593 0.06521 81 66 9 6
2658 Yes, indeed, there once was a Mr. Kestrel. 1.2588 0.05589 85 66 16 3
2659 Books about crocks are on sale this week. 1.2588 0.05835 85 67 14 4
2660 He has really increased our social media presence. 1.2588 0.05835 85 67 14 4
2661 I’m looking for a good book with some teeth. 1.2588 0.05589 85 66 16 3
2662 He thinks we're a pet store, you try convincing him otherwise. 1.2586 0.06763 58 45 11 2
2663 Global warming, right? 1.2584 0.05426 89 69 17 3
2664 Let me guess, he ate the kestrel? 1.2584 0.05426 89 69 17 3
2665 We’re doing a strategic alliance with Amazon. 1.2584 0.05426 89 69 17 3
2666 But if you're willing to wait, we're having a sale soon on um...exotic, eather-lay ound-bay ooks-bay--if you know what I mean sir. 1.2584 0.05185 89 68 19 2
2667 You’re through reading Kant? This is another one to wrestle with. 1.2584 0.05426 89 69 17 3
2668 we can't find the author 1.2584 0.05656 89 70 15 4
2669 He has specific views on certain genres of light fiction. 1.2584 0.05185 89 68 19 2
2670 We used to hire college students as interns, but after a while crocodiles. 1.2581 0.05701 93 74 14 5
2671 I didn't realize the alligator-bound edition came with a live alligator." 1.2581 0.06478 62 48 12 2
2672 Yes, he bites. 1.2581 0.05048 93 71 20 2
2673 I find that even the literati can't help but say 'See you later, alligator'. 1.2581 0.06097 93 76 10 7
2674 How badly do you want that book? 1.2581 0.05048 93 71 20 2
2675 He's just exhausted from self-help books 1.2581 0.05492 93 73 16 4
2676 He’s been a great deterrent to shoplifters, but his meal breaks are a little unpredictable. 1.2581 0.06874 62 49 10 3
2677 The cat left me for a bodega 1.2581 0.07249 62 50 8 4
2678 I’m Barnes. This is my business associate Mr. Noble. 1.2581 0.05902 93 75 12 6
2679 Can you recommend something with a bite? 1.2577 0.05135 97 75 19 3
2680 No, Amazon didn’t send it as threat to push me out of business but I like to let customers think that. 1.2576 0.07262 66 54 7 5
2681 This is another way to say “snap these up before they are gone”? 1.2576 0.06933 66 53 9 4
2682 Either he'll remember the title of the book he wants, or he won't. I won't rush him. 1.2576 0.06933 66 53 9 4
2683 She’s part of the ‘Do-It-Yourself Guide to Fine Leather Handbags’ package set. 1.2576 0.06588 66 52 11 3
2684 Customers tend to spend less time browsing. 1.2574 0.04804 101 77 22 2
2685 These books cost an arm and a leg. 1.2571 0.06956 70 57 8 5
2686 I think I’ll give up reading and keep my remaining arm. 1.2571 0.06333 70 55 12 3
2687 it could have been a NYT bestseller but nobody seems to be picking it up 1.2571 0.06956 70 57 8 5
2688 Ever since we hired Edgar, we've been out of Reader's Digest. 1.2571 0.06333 70 55 12 3
2689 You should be fine. He only eats every two weeks. 1.2571 0.06652 70 56 10 4
2690 Say, "See you later, Alligator". I dare you. 1.2571 0.06333 70 55 12 3
2691 ...120 unbound books and 4 yards of untanned leather... 1.2571 0.06333 70 55 12 3
2692 Hope he doesn't look down. 1.2571 0.06652 70 56 10 4
2693 Thought that cute barista across the street said she likes guys with big *crocs*. Anyway,give me twenty bucks and it 1.2571 0.06652 70 56 10 4
2694 Never mind him. He's stuffed. 1.2571 0.06956 70 57 8 5
2695 Yeah, can’t find Tabby anywhere. 1.2571 0.06956 70 57 8 5
2696 This is the new representative for Colin Stevenson's book, Crocodiles of the World. 1.2571 0.05997 70 54 14 2
2697 He’ll be signing his memoir, SEE YOU LATER, in a while. 1.2571 0.06652 70 56 10 4
2698 . . . Actually, it's a Crocodile. 1.2571 0.05641 70 53 16 1
2699 The owner is allergic to cats 1.2571 0.06333 70 55 12 3
2700 We usually receive different leatherback donations. 1.2571 0.05997 70 54 14 2
2701 He actually writes under the pen name “Butterfly” 1.2571 0.06652 70 56 10 4
2702 And by the way, just for future reference, , the preferred pronouns are they/their… 1.2568 0.06682 74 60 9 5
2703 any books on leather crafts? 1.2568 0.06399 74 59 11 4
2704 C Our new customer complaint department. 1.2568 0.06399 74 59 11 4
2705 Crocodile. Teeth visible when the mouth is closed. 1.2568 0.06682 74 60 9 5
2706 He's a critic. He eats what he likes. 1.2568 0.06682 74 60 9 5
2707 No, I'm afraid we don't have a book on crocodiles, but can I interest you in a crocodile on books. 1.2568 0.06399 74 59 11 4
2708 We could say our Kestrel has flown the coop, but I think we all know better. 1.2568 0.06103 74 58 13 3
2709 We accept Visa, Mastercard, or a limb of your choice. 1.2568 0.05792 74 57 15 2
2710 He's the latest in anti- theft technology. 1.2568 0.06399 74 59 11 4
2711 It's to help New Yorkers get back to nature. 1.2568 0.06103 74 58 13 3
2712 It’s a gated book club. 1.2568 0.06103 74 58 13 3
2713 Very limited edition, I suppose. 1.2568 0.06399 74 59 11 4
2714 Be Careful. He likes to eat bookworms. 1.2568 0.06954 74 61 7 6
2715 Visa, Master, or a pound of flesh? 1.2568 0.05792 74 57 15 2
2716 Service animal. 1.2568 0.06399 74 59 11 4
2717 He puts the teeth in our “no returns” policy. 1.2568 0.05792 74 57 15 2
2718 Yes, it’s a service animal…long story 1.2568 0.05792 74 57 15 2
2719 Oh the book store is next door. This is Kestrel BOO store. Did we scare you? 1.2568 0.06399 74 59 11 4
2720 I told you not to feed the alligator, now he's all grown up and can't even fit well on my desk 1.2566 0.04993 113 89 19 5
2721 All of the watchdogs have been adopted 1.2564 0.06171 78 62 12 4
2722 Not to worry he is a literate vegan. 1.2564 0.06689 78 64 8 6
2723 Yes, in Vancouver a foreign alligator needs a temporary Canadian Work Permit and a heated work place 1.2564 0.06689 78 64 8 6
2724 It has a snappy ending. 1.2564 0.05605 78 60 16 2
2725 The vet thinks because his first owner was an author that he has imprinted. Personally, I think it's a bad pun. 1.2564 0.06171 78 62 12 4
2726 Yea, he’s intimidating but, shoplifting has dropped 75% 1.2564 0.05605 78 60 16 2
2727 It's all about the logo 1.2564 0.05895 78 61