Contest #767


Cartoon

767

The winning captions

These captions are chosen by The New Yorker.

  1. “Now, if you'll just yank away the tablecloth.”
  2. “I think I got the waiter's attention.”
  3. “My last boyfriend died in a tragic dining accident.”


Name Value
Submission deadline 2021-08-15T19:07:00.000Z
Voting started -
Voting ended 2021-08-29T19:11:00.000Z
Finalists announced 2021-08-23T19:11:00.000Z
Magazine(s) announcing finalists issued August 30, 2021
Number of captions 7912
Number of responses 768653
Number of participants -


Dashboard

In this table, the "mean" means the empirically measured average funniness score when the "unfunny", "somewhat funny" and "funny" receive a funniness score of 1, 2, 3 respectively. "Precison" is the standard error of the mean, the standard deviation of the mean estimate. With that, a caption with an empirical mean μ and precision σ has true mean in the range [μ - 2σ, μ + 2σ] with 95% probability by the 68-95-99.7 rule assuming the responses are indepedent and identically distributed.

Rank Caption Mean Precision Total votes "Unfunny" votes "Somewhat funny" votes "Funny" votes
0 You seem really nice - most of the guys I date are clowns. 1.9016 0.01191 4798 1891 1488 1419
1 Kids? I love kids. Hand me one. 1.8850 0.01869 1922 768 607 547
2 My biggest fan was my late husband. 1.8542 0.01463 3087 1277 983 827
3 So what I wrote in my dating profile is true. Now show me your Nobel Peace Prize. 1.8325 0.02540 1045 454 312 279
4 So, like my profile said, I bring a lot to the table. 1.8237 0.01548 2558 1049 911 598
5 Now, pull the tablecloth! 1.8192 0.01437 3202 1400 981 821
6 Enough about me. You're an accountant? That must be exciting. 1.8183 0.02125 1365 567 479 319
7 You won't believe what I do on a second date. 1.7995 0.01795 1895 806 663 426
8 I like to think I bring a lot to the table. 1.7913 0.01475 2822 1222 967 633
9 I think it’s working: the waiter’s coming over. 1.7867 0.01532 2639 1159 884 596
10 Of course, I'm vaccinated. Do you think I'm crazy? 1.7863 0.01553 2691 1222 822 647
11 Well, look at that, you finally put your phone down." 1.7860 0.01862 1869 848 573 448
12 So, have you ever dated a single mom before? 1.7849 0.01732 2041 891 698 452
13 Am I more interesting than your phone yet? 1.7785 0.01578 2465 1090 831 544
14 I think I got the waiter’s attention. 1.7767 0.01378 3367 1536 1047 784
15 To be fair your profile did say...“a well- balanced Woman who loves to entertain” 1.7758 0.01997 1494 650 529 315
16 Go ahead. I'm listening. 1.7743 0.01661 2060 870 785 405
17 I hope you don't expect me to just drop everything. 1.7730 0.02109 1335 582 474 279
18 It was a bicycle 'til I dropped the chainsaw a few times. 1.7651 0.02243 1277 595 387 295
19 I didn’t say I was juggling careers, I said I had a juggling career. 1.7643 0.01538 2571 1156 865 550
20 Okay on three yank on the table cloth. 1.7631 0.01438 2976 1352 977 647
21 It was at that moment Jane thought maybe she was trying too hard. 1.7625 0.01478 2771 1245 939 587
22 Wow, then you picked the kids up from school AND emptied the dishwasher? 1.7601 0.01761 2080 980 619 481
23 I will feel safer if you wear a mask 1.7600 0.01891 1767 821 549 397
24 This is far easier for me than listening to you talk about cryptocurrency. 1.7589 0.01528 2638 1207 860 571
25 Well, it got you to put your phone down... 1.7542 0.01874 1615 705 602 308
26 I'm a great catch. 1.7522 0.01711 2401 1215 566 620
27 I go on a lot of first dates. 1.7518 0.01820 1765 789 625 351
28 Now, when I count to three, toss me that glass. 1.7490 0.01733 1912 849 694 369
29 What did you think I meant by “dinner and a show”? 1.7451 0.02080 1373 627 469 277
30 I never know what to do with my hands when I am talking. 1.7432 0.01827 1698 755 624 319
31 What did YOU think I meant when I said, 'I'm juggling a lot right now?' 1.7415 0.01724 1973 899 685 389
32 Am I vaccinated? No. That sounds too risky to me. 1.7412 0.01810 1978 963 564 451
33 OK, on the count of three, pull the table cloth out as fast as you can. 1.7402 0.01807 1894 895 596 403
34 I'm just not sure if I can juggle a relationship, too 1.7386 0.01758 1871 849 662 360
35 My last boyfriend died in a tragic dining accident. 1.7381 0.01854 1863 904 543 416
36 You're a great guy, it's just that I'm juggling a lot right now. 1.7347 0.02096 1278 573 471 234
37 So, I work in risk management...how about you? 1.7346 0.02076 1334 607 474 253
38 So, you're the guy who likes long walks on the beach. 1.7313 0.02046 1671 869 382 420
39 Now,imagine adding a baby. 1.7311 0.01930 1651 789 517 345
40 You said you wanted dinner and a show. 1.7274 0.01892 1563 708 573 282
41 Oh yes, please ... tell me again how I'm doing it wrong. 1.7244 0.02095 1495 753 401 341
42 Enough about me. What do you do? 1.7242 0.01964 1490 690 521 279
43 Now if you'll just yank away the tablecloth. 1.7234 0.02039 1468 707 460 301
44 It became much easier once people started staying six feet away. 1.7145 0.02078 1289 595 467 227
45 No vaccine for me. Too risky. 1.7129 0.02181 1261 611 401 249
46 So, you really want to know if I can manage a career, children and a marriage? 1.7124 0.02161 1245 592 419 234
47 I've been trying to meet someone who shares my interests, but so far they've all been clowns. 1.7105 0.02253 1216 602 364 250
48 Instead of explaining how it feels to be a woman in her 40s, let me show you. 1.7094 0.02230 1194 578 385 231
49 You think this is hard? Try juggling a full time job and three kids learning virtually. 1.7083 0.02268 1176 577 365 234
50 I normally don't do this on the first date. 1.7076 0.02174 1156 534 426 196
51 After having the kids home 24/7 for a year and a half, “back to normal” just didn’t seem challenging anymore. 1.7070 0.02215 1150 542 403 205
52 What do you mean exactly when you say "attention seeking issues"? 1.7041 0.02259 1122 536 382 204
53 Seriously Ted, you're very hard to impress. 1.7030 0.02242 1091 509 397 185
54 It’s not you, Ted. I’m just juggling a lot right now. 1.6987 0.02343 1029 492 355 182
55 When I said "literally",you thought I meant "figuratively", didn't you? 1.6974 0.02429 1018 506 314 198
56 I'm sorry, am I making this about me again? 1.6962 0.02420 994 486 324 184
57 Yeah, they're still ignoring us. 1.6957 0.02358 1022 493 347 182
58 Yes please, tell me more about how being a man is so complicated... 1.6953 0.02570 991 521 251 219
59 The precise moment Bob regretted telling the server it was his birthday. 1.6947 0.02612 976 519 236 221
60 Don't listen to your friends. Could a crazy woman do this? 1.6928 0.02491 957 476 299 182
61 It was either this or cleavage. 1.6926 0.02484 950 469 304 177
62 If I can do this, I know I’m ok to drive home. 1.6924 0.02447 946 458 321 167
63 Friends say I try too hard to make an impression on my first date. 1.6920 0.02359 974 460 354 160
64 I usually wait till the third date to give a guy the full show. 1.6890 0.02495 910 443 307 160
65 Now that I have your attention, I'd like to talk about my feelings. 1.6890 0.02455 926 447 320 159
66 Okay, now let's hope that you're better at catching the chainsaw than my ex was. 1.6888 0.02612 932 486 250 196
67 Not nearly as difficult as a vacuum, a cookbook, and an infant. 1.6885 0.02607 899 458 263 178
68 Now hand me your drink 1.6879 0.02547 894 442 289 163
69 This one's called 'The Last Supper.' 1.6873 0.02623 889 454 259 176
70 Really, it's not you. I am just juggling a lot of things right now. 1.6842 0.02566 855 418 289 148
71 At that moment Ted was reminded to look at the whole online profile 1.6841 0.02580 858 423 283 152
72 It was at that moment that Jerry remembered: I went on a date with her five years ago 1.6834 0.02687 878 461 234 183
73 It started with just me walking while chewing gum. 1.6823 0.02611 831 409 277 145
74 Statistically, this is safer than letting you walk me home. 1.6822 0.02645 837 420 263 154
75 Now for the hard part . . . hand me the glass. 1.6802 0.02693 813 411 251 151
76 Ok. I got the waiter’s attention. 1.6787 0.02625 800 390 277 133
77 Are you gonna drink that water? 1.6787 0.02716 803 408 245 150
78 Now toss me the glass. 1.6784 0.02736 796 406 240 150
79 I normally do this on a wire but I didn’t want to show off on the first date. 1.6749 0.02650 769 373 273 123
80 In your profile you said you admire a woman who can multitask. 1.6746 0.02639 759 364 278 117
81 On your profile,you said you were looking for an athletic woman whose not afraid to take risks! 1.6732 0.02625 762 365 281 116
82 Still easier than having kids and a career at the same time. 1.6732 0.02635 768 371 277 120
83 This is nothing! I used to work daycare 1.6703 0.02796 725 364 236 125
84 I don’t know why you’re surprised, all women can do this 1.6694 0.02831 729 373 224 132
85 I'm a single mom who is working remotely and home schooling her kids. This is how I unwind. 1.6694 0.02778 744 377 236 131
86 Yes, I am a working single mom. Why do you ask? 1.6685 0.02877 715 369 214 132
87 …and what do you bring to the table? 1.6657 0.02922 700 365 204 131
88 Toss me your glass, Bob! 1.6642 0.02853 682 342 227 113
89 Don’t worry — I probably still make less than you. 1.6627 0.02924 664 338 212 114
90 Finally, you put your phone down and I have your full attention!" 1.6624 0.02893 699 362 211 126
91 It's not you. I just have a lot up in the air right now. 1.6621 0.02920 663 337 213 113
92 And for my next trick, I will feign interest. 1.6619 0.03075 624 325 185 114
93 :"...or I could drop everything and get your breakfast. Your choice." 1.6613 0.02955 679 355 199 125
94 And,I can parallel park! 1.6609 0.02965 640 325 207 108
95 Now throw me the water. 1.6606 0.02930 654 332 212 110
96 You ever wonder if something life-changing will suddenly fall into your lap? 1.6596 0.03181 617 333 161 123
97 Bob thought to himself, "Maybe I should do the trick where I pull the table cloth from under my glass." 1.6594 0.03071 646 344 178 124
98 I'm not sure I have the time to juggle a relationship, too. 1.6589 0.02964 645 330 205 110
99 I think I'd feel safer if you were wearing a mask. 1.6584 0.03092 647 348 172 127
100 I find first dates to be slightly awkward, don't you? 1.6572 0.02898 636 316 222 98
101 OK Sarah, I’ve put my phone away 1.6551 0.03159 603 321 169 113
102 You are flirting with disaster. 1.6545 0.03297 628 360 125 143
103 Vaccine? Naahhh, it’s too dangerous. 1.6535 0.03060 606 313 190 103
104 This is not at all what I pictured when your profile said you were an adult entertainer. 1.6498 0.03164 611 331 163 117
105 First dates are so awkward, I never know what to do with my hands 1.6491 0.03059 607 316 188 103
106 Well, I seem to go on a lot of first dates! 1.6478 0.02907 619 309 219 91
107 I had some time during the pandemic. 1.6471 0.02965 561 272 215 74
108 Let's just say my last date ended poorly. 1.6457 0.03101 573 295 186 92
109 So many people didn't put their quarantine time to good use. 1.6451 0.03095 572 294 187 91
110 my late husband was my biggest fan” 1.6448 0.03314 580 324 138 118
111 I feel like I'm the only one really trying to keep things interesting in our relationship. 1.6444 0.03146 585 310 173 102
112 I got this. I’m a mother. 1.6439 0.03135 542 275 185 82
113 Hi I'm Bronywyn, your server. I'll be tenderizing, grilling and carving your prime rib tonight. 1.6427 0.03133 599 321 171 107
114 So what’s your pandemic hobby? 1.6418 0.03165 550 285 177 88
115 But enough about me, I want to hear about you. 1.6418 0.03087 536 267 194 75
116 I also learned how to make sourdough. 1.6413 0.03177 552 288 174 90
117 It's a helluva lot easier than juggling kids and a job. 1.6407 0.03169 540 278 178 84
118 My eyes are up here. 1.6404 0.03348 534 290 146 98
119 No, I've never really felt the need to prove myself. Why do you ask? 1.6398 0.03199 522 267 176 79
120 Dangerous? You’re the one out to dinner unvaccinated. 1.6395 0.03155 588 316 168 104
121 Your profile said you were a good catch." 1.6391 0.03257 557 301 156 100
122 I'm tired of feeling invisible, Todd. 1.6365 0.03313 509 268 158 83
123 Now tell me again how difficult it is to load the dishwasher? 1.6360 0.03557 500 282 118 100
124 Oh,you said you wanted someone to SNUGGLE with. 1.6345 0.03432 498 270 140 88
125 So, you were saying you play the harmonica? That's neat. 1.6336 0.03187 535 279 173 83
126 I just think a vaccine sounds really risky. 1.6330 0.03276 594 338 136 120
127 So, what were your lockdown hobbies? 1.6327 0.03130 550 286 180 84
128 After teaching third graders remotely, this is how I relax. 1.6322 0.03537 484 268 126 90
129 On three pull the table cloth really hard. 1.6318 0.03486 497 275 130 92
130 This is so much easier than small talk. 1.6317 0.03379 486 257 151 78
131 My eyes are up here, Dave. 1.6314 0.03848 388 209 113 66
132 With one martini I used to just dance on the table, but after three I had to up my game. 1.6313 0.03223 499 255 173 71
133 I don't usually do this on the first date. 1.6313 0.03425 480 256 145 79
134 So, what did you learn during lockdown? 1.6310 0.03325 542 299 144 99
135 Alright, you win. Women are better at multitasking. 1.6300 0.03453 473 253 142 78
136 Throw me that glass.... 1.6282 0.03203 511 264 173 74
137 So, what hobbies did you take up during the lockdown? 1.6269 0.03234 461 229 175 57
138 My last relationship ended when he broke my concentration. 1.6256 0.03475 454 241 142 71
139 I told you I was a great catch. 1.6247 0.03439 453 238 147 68
140 You should see what I do on the second date. 1.6222 0.03459 450 238 144 68
141 But enough about me. Tell me about yourself. 1.6219 0.03557 439 236 133 70
142 Ken noticed that she looked older than her profile pictures. 1.6218 0.03592 468 263 119 86
143 Just preparing for a household, kids and a career 1.6205 0.03418 469 251 145 73
144 Just a couple of things I picked up during lockdown. 1.6205 0.03372 440 225 157 58
145 It was at this point that Roger realized wearing the salmon shirt wouldn’t have been too risky. 1.6185 0.03687 422 232 119 71
146 Ok, now your water glass. 1.6172 0.03543 418 220 138 60
147 Before the pandemic I was an accountant. 1.6172 0.03497 465 255 133 77
148 You should see what I can do on 3rd date! 1.6170 0.03558 423 225 135 63
149 I mean, really, how hard would it be to toss in a baby? 1.6166 0.03585 433 235 129 69
150 Yeah, Paul, I think I know what a man expects when he buys a girl dinner. 1.6157 0.03636 432 238 122 72
151 My eyes are up here, Harold. 1.6150 0.03691 413 226 120 67
152 I'd feel safer if you'd put on a mask 1.6138 0.03605 479 277 110 92
153 No, I hadn't really thought about how I would stop. 1.6137 0.03519 422 223 139 60
154 Could you hand me that glass? 1.6129 0.03475 434 230 142 62
155 If you've finished your drink, toss me the glass. 1.6126 0.03701 444 254 108 82
156 I KNEW I could do something that would make you stop looking at your phone. 1.6120 0.03720 433 246 109 78
157 Massive head injury. Why did your last relationship end? 1.6119 0.03438 469 256 139 74
158 Oh, and we’re pregnant again. 1.6116 0.03501 430 229 139 62
159 I feel like I can do anything since I got vaccinated. 1.6112 0.03440 445 237 144 64
160 Teaching kindergarten was too hard. 1.6105 0.03607 421 229 127 65
161 I have no problem keeping people six feet away. 1.6102 0.03757 413 232 110 71
162 Ok, whenever you're ready, toss up your glass 1.6096 0.03601 438 243 123 72
163 Compared to a career and children, this is easy. 1.6095 0.03708 402 220 119 63
164 And for my next trick, I’ll try to balance work and life. 1.6085 0.03604 424 232 126 66
165 So, the trick is to pull the tablecloth out really fast. 1.6078 0.03688 436 248 111 77
166 I know,I should be wearing a mask. 1.6075 0.03534 400 209 139 52
167 There are only 3 ways this relationship is going to end. 1.6073 0.03808 382 210 112 60
168 I would feel safer if you were wearing a mask. 1.6072 0.03571 471 270 116 85
169 No really, please go on, I' m listening... 1.6069 0.03593 435 241 124 70
170 It’s really the only way to get the waiter’s attention here. 1.6068 0.03610 384 201 133 50
171 My last boyfriend had trust issues! 1.6061 0.03738 396 218 116 62
172 You should see what I can do on our second date. 1.6051 0.03550 428 233 131 64
173 Still wanna check your phone instead of looking at me? 1.6034 0.03599 416 227 127 62
174 ITS SO MUCH EASIER WITHOUT THE CAT! 1.6022 0.04065 367 213 87 67
175 So enough about me. What are your hobbies? 1.6005 0.03677 378 202 125 51
176 So again, I’ll handle all this, you put your dirty socks in the hamper. 1.5989 0.03747 374 203 118 53
177 I just don’t think I can juggle a relationship right now. 1.5976 0.03788 410 236 103 71
178 Oh, it's pretty easy. I got into it by practicing with my full-time job, the home, and the kids, all while balancing the checkbook. 1.5969 0.03759 387 215 113 59
179 This is the best way to show what it's like to be a single mom. 1.5956 0.03626 408 225 123 60
180 So you're telling me the only thing you did during the pandemic was learn Sanskrit? 1.5950 0.03682 400 222 118 60
181 The real trick is balancing kids and a career. 1.5944 0.03822 360 197 112 51
182 Well, enough about me. 1.5937 0.03760 347 184 120 43
183 I know I didn’t mention this in my profile, but I also collect stamps. 1.5936 0.03712 374 203 120 51
184 Now that I managed to get you to look up from your phone.... 1.5933 0.04086 359 210 85 64
185 ‘Now, hop on my shoulders’ 1.5929 0.03968 366 210 95 61
186 Would you like to hear our specials this evening? 1.5926 0.03706 351 185 124 42
187 My mother said this would be good to do on the first date to distract you from the fact that I’m 40 and want to have kids 1.5921 0.03798 380 213 109 58
188 I had to jump through hoops to reserve a table. 1.5918 0.03970 343 191 101 51
189 This is your first time speed dating, right? 1.5917 0.03904 360 202 103 55
190 I’m not sure if I can juggle a relationship just now. 1.5913 0.03827 367 204 109 54
191 They say you never get a second chance to make a first impression. 1.5899 0.03669 356 188 126 42
192 I’m not very good at small talk. 1.5898 0.03873 334 180 111 43
193 Now, toss me a pen and I'll take your order. 1.5897 0.04192 329 190 84 55
194 Let me know if this bothers you. 1.5894 0.04001 358 206 93 59
195 Your profile said that you were looking for a woman who could surprise you. 1.5881 0.03888 335 182 109 44
196 Next lockdown I learn to do this on a rope. 1.5876 0.03793 354 193 114 47
197 It's only my personal life I can't balance. 1.5865 0.03948 341 190 102 49
198 Can the other woman do THIS, Dave? 1.5856 0.03596 432 247 117 68
199 Oh, yeah? Well I'd like to see your Mother do this! 1.5849 0.04073 318 177 96 45
200 Usually the menus come before I turn on the chainsaw. 1.5844 0.04173 320 183 87 50
201 Nope, still easier than you, my job, our parents, and the kids 1.5843 0.04154 344 203 81 60
202 I feel I can bring a lot to the table. 1.5831 0.03974 331 184 101 46
203 Sometimes I worry I've forgotten how to socialize. 1.5820 0.03929 323 176 106 41
204 Of course I haven’t been vaccinated! It’s not safe. 1.5818 0.04317 330 199 70 61
205 I know your ex is a tough act to follow” 1.5817 0.03612 416 236 118 62
206 What did YOU learn to do during lockdown? 1.5809 0.03950 346 196 99 51
207 "This is nothing compared to what I can do to the company's books." 1.5807 0.04154 322 185 87 50
208 Honey, is something wrong? You barely swallowed your sword. 1.5802 0.04158 324 187 86 51
209 Jump in whenever you’re ready. 1.5801 0.03932 312 168 107 37
210 I can't believe you carry all that in your purse. 1.5798 0.04289 307 178 80 49
211 It worked. Here he comes with the breadsticks. 1.5796 0.04262 314 183 80 51
212 "And you're asking if I can juggle motherhood and a career?" 1.5794 0.04212 321 187 82 52
213 Other than this, I’m pretty low maintenance. 1.5793 0.04014 309 169 101 39
214 On the other hand, the depression’s gone completely. 1.5776 0.04154 303 170 91 42
215 Just practicing before we have kids. 1.5766 0.03821 359 202 107 50
216 You said I need to bring something new to the table for this to work 1.5758 0.03869 363 208 101 54
217 I have too much going on right now to get into a relationship. 1.5757 0.03878 337 187 106 44
218 My therapist said I should find a job less stressful than teaching 1.5751 0.04154 313 179 88 46
219 Yes I am a Mom, how did you guess? 1.5747 0.03957 348 200 96 52
220 Claire was trying her best, but Dave had long ago mastered the art of tweeting under the table. 1.5742 0.04284 310 182 78 50
221 After balancing a spoon on his nose, Michael asked Sarah if she had any hidden talents . 1.5737 0.04452 312 191 63 58
222 Don't worry; I'm vaccinated. 1.5733 0.04167 307 175 88 44
223 I'm not ready for a relationship where I might get hurt. 1.5719 0.04278 292 167 83 42
224 That waiter is definitely ignoring us. 1.5719 0.03907 334 187 103 44
225 And what did you learn, stuck at home, during Covid? 1.5714 0.04183 308 177 86 45
226 This oughta get the waiter's attention! 1.5706 0.03909 326 181 104 41
227 See, Dad? I told you my liberal arts degree wouldn't go to waste. 1.5704 0.04034 291 158 100 33
228 I know, the most dangerous part is I'm not wearing a mask. 1.5701 0.03980 321 180 99 42
229 Nope, homeschooling and working full time is still harder 1.5696 0.04052 316 179 94 43
230 Okay, you can toss me the glass of water now. 1.5695 0.04222 302 174 84 44
231 Dinner's in the oven, laundry is folded, kids are in bed, can I get you anything? 1.5695 0.04350 302 179 74 49
232 Quick! Toss me the drink! 1.5686 0.04205 306 177 84 45
233 It’s code for if you ever cheat on me, I’ll set your head on fire, cut it off, and use it as a bowling ball. 1.5679 0.04450 280 164 73 43
234 Is there water in the glass? Hand it to me. 1.5679 0.04153 280 154 93 33
235 It's actually harder than it looks. 1.5676 0.03927 296 159 106 31
236 Barb found that if she kept busy, her nervous twitch wasn't apparent. 1.5676 0.04236 296 170 84 42
237 Watch out! I usually drop the chainsaw first. 1.5675 0.04424 289 171 72 46
238 How about this? Is THIS enough for you? 1.5668 0.04400 277 160 77 40
239 "....and I'm pregnant!" 1.5657 0.04021 327 188 93 46
240 If this doesn’t get us menus, nothing will! 1.5652 0.04353 276 158 80 38
241 The chef apologizes. We've run out of our regular amuse-bouche. 1.5651 0.04226 292 167 85 40
242 I don't know why, but men always seem to find me intimidating. Do you find me intimidating? 1.5646 0.04232 294 169 84 41
243 Interesting story about how my last relationship suddenly ended! 1.5645 0.04311 287 166 80 41
244 And I still only get paid 70% of your salary. 1.5632 0.04342 277 159 80 38
245 The hard part is getting the tire marks out of the tablecloth. 1.5623 0.04364 265 150 81 34
246 Your dating app said you liked a girl who could multitask. 1.5616 0.04172 292 166 88 38
247 You said, "How 'bout dinner and a show tonight?" 1.5612 0.04271 278 158 84 36
248 My friend told me you really go for the juggler. 1.5598 0.04508 259 150 73 36
249 So what have you learned in quarantine? 1.5593 0.04028 295 164 97 34
250 I also taught myself how to make sourdough 1.5587 0.04297 281 162 81 38
251 I can't cook. 1.5586 0.04413 256 145 79 32
252 So what about you, any hobbies? 1.5581 0.04556 258 151 70 37
253 As you can see, I don't fake MY dating profile hobbies. 1.5579 0.04251 285 164 83 38
254 It's actually easier than a baby, boyfriend, and job. 1.5578 0.04180 294 169 86 39
255 So you're not sure if I could handle motherhood? 1.5576 0.04211 278 157 87 34
256 What are you waiting for? Toss me your glass. 1.5573 0.03926 314 176 101 37
257 At least I'm not checking my phone. 1.5567 0.04106 282 157 93 32
258 Juggling motherhood, a career and dating just wasn't enough of a challenge anymore. 1.5564 0.04702 257 155 61 41
259 You said you missed going to dinner and a show. 1.5560 0.04237 259 143 88 28
260 I promise I won’t drop the ball this time. 1.5556 0.04467 252 144 76 32
261 Now if you just pull the table cloth off very quickly... 1.5551 0.04588 272 165 63 44
262 Just promise me you won't turn out to be a clown like all the other guys I've dated. 1.5545 0.04036 321 187 90 44
263 That's right, blind since birth. 1.5543 0.04656 258 155 63 40
264 I don’t mind splitting the check. I’ll just have to time it correctly. 1.5542 0.04650 249 147 66 36
265 For my encore I pass a bill in the Senate. 1.5540 0.04455 287 174 67 46
266 What do you mean, dangerous? We’re already eating indoors at a restaurant without masks. 1.5539 0.04351 269 155 79 35
267 ...and then I heard about this dating app called Jugglr. 1.5538 0.04337 251 140 83 28
268 Some men find me intimidating. 1.5535 0.04542 271 163 66 42
269 Sure honey, I think it’s fine to go on your golf trip with your buddies for a week while I manage the kids, work and house. 1.5530 0.04542 264 157 68 39
270 …so they told me I had ADD. Can you even imagine? 1.5519 0.04643 212 117 73 22
271 And yet, still $0.80 to your dollar. 1.5517 0.04583 261 156 66 39
272 I do it without a mask on to make it dangerous. 1.5506 0.04819 247 151 56 40
273 I have three kids, working on my Masters and work full time at the hospital. And you? 1.5504 0.04306 278 162 79 37
274 What hobby did YOU pick up last year? 1.5500 0.04400 260 150 77 33
275 See? Not everyone lies in their dating profile. 1.5489 0.04580 266 161 64 41
276 You honestly can't tell I cut my bangs shorter? 1.5474 0.04168 285 164 86 35
277 They asked about my ability to balance work, life and family. So I showed them this. 1.5472 0.04050 307 178 90 39
278 Enough about me. What did you do during quarantine? 1.5470 0.04291 287 170 77 40
279 Do you think this will get the waiter's attention? 1.5465 0.04358 258 148 79 31
280 If I can do this before dinner, just imagine what I can do for dessert! 1.5458 0.04304 251 141 83 27
281 I always bring them on first dates, just a little something to break the ice… 1.5458 0.04304 251 141 83 27
282 You understand the metaphor, don't you? 1.5451 0.04668 233 136 67 30
283 Do I seem unbalanced to you? 1.5440 0.04640 250 150 64 36
284 Not me. The vaccine isn't safe. 1.5420 0.04821 238 145 57 36
285 You know, this isn't as easy as it looks. 1.5419 0.04510 227 128 75 24
286 Next time you might want to say yes to the lap dance. 1.5415 0.04598 253 152 65 36
287 I picked up a couple of new hobbies during the pandemic. 1.5409 0.04268 257 146 83 28
288 You should see me toss a salad. 1.5407 0.04664 246 148 63 35
289 Doing it is easy. The trick is stopping. 1.5404 0.04401 285 174 68 43
290 I thought it might be fun to try juggling things besides working from home, virtual school for our kids, and existential dread through a global pandemic! 1.5396 0.04275 265 153 81 31
291 It’s safe; I’m vaccinated. 1.5395 0.04582 228 131 71 26
292 Vaccines are too dangerous 1.5391 0.04796 230 138 60 32
293 Now that I got you to put down your cell phone... 1.5385 0.04733 221 129 65 27
294 Oh no, I wasn't losing interest! I love your work stories. 1.5382 0.04586 249 149 66 34
295 'Enough about me. What are your hobbies?" 1.5378 0.04557 238 139 70 29
296 This concludes the talent portion of our date. 1.5375 0.04718 240 145 61 34
297 . "Oops! Could you grab the chain saw for me?" 1.5362 0.04757 235 142 60 33
298 And yourself? What do you do? 1.5350 0.04373 243 139 78 26
299 So, what do you do? 1.5349 0.04788 215 126 63 26
300 For whatever reason, the men I date never last long. 1.5344 0.04397 247 143 76 28
301 If you don't think that's enough risk, let me remind you that I'm unvaccinated. 1.5344 0.04702 262 165 54 43
302 I hope you're a good catch. 1.5342 0.04887 234 145 53 36
303 And you're too busy to pick up the kids ? 1.5341 0.04333 249 143 79 27
304 Ready! Catch 1.5336 0.04660 223 130 67 26
305 Now remember. When you pull the tablecloth, you really have to commit 1.5336 0.04913 223 136 55 32
306 I find first dates terribly awkward , I never know what to do or say. 1.5331 0.04234 257 147 83 27
307 Go on, I’m listening. 1.5325 0.04522 246 146 69 31
308 What do you mean that I crave attention? 1.5323 0.04368 263 156 74 33
309 Thanks, but this is just the preamble. I'm pregnant. 1.5323 0.04776 248 155 54 39
310 ‘You never really get over being the middle child, do you?’ 1.5323 0.04707 248 153 58 37
311 Okay--you caught the cup. Which one do you want to catch next? 1.5314 0.04545 239 141 69 29
312 We all learned to cope differently this past year... 1.5310 0.04615 226 132 68 26
313 Yes! I think I got there waiter’s attention now... 1.5309 0.04335 243 139 79 25
314 Sure you have my undivided attention. 1.5308 0.04570 211 119 72 20
315 I must really like you. I don't usually break out the unicycle until the third date. 1.5308 0.04950 211 127 56 28
316 Just a mother and housewife. What do you do? 1.5306 0.04386 245 142 76 27
317 I always feel like I have to perform on first dates. 1.5305 0.04959 213 129 55 29
318 Glad you’re impressed, but I’m still only making seventy-one percent of what you’re getting for this cartoon. 1.5304 0.04723 247 153 57 37
319 I used to work in public health but it got too dangerous 1.5302 0.05011 215 132 52 31
320 This is nothing. My last job was White House Communications Director. 1.5297 0.04893 236 148 51 37
321 Now hand me the water glass. 1.5291 0.04801 206 120 63 23
322 …then after my third husband’s incident I decided on the smaller saw. 1.5284 0.04735 229 138 61 30
323 Yeah, but I just don't know if the vaccine is safe. 1.5279 0.04980 233 148 47 38
324 So, what else did you learn during quarantine? 1.5279 0.04594 233 138 67 28
325 ... but I love long walks on the beach most of all. 1.5278 0.04548 252 153 65 34
326 Maybe this will get us menus. 1.5278 0.04728 216 127 64 25
327 By the way, I'm pregnant. 1.5273 0.05008 220 137 50 33
328 Wait til you see what I'll do on a second date! 1.5267 0.04490 243 144 70 29
329 Let's see those guys at Benihana try this! 1.5259 0.04689 232 140 62 30
330 So when you're ready, pass me the glass. 1.5257 0.04500 253 153 67 33
331 Sure, I can take your jacket to the dry cleaner. 1.5256 0.04889 234 147 51 36
332 Wait until you see how good I am at juggling work and kids. 1.5252 0.04483 238 140 71 27
333 Don't worry. This is in fact less dangerous than 2020 1.5244 0.04589 225 132 68 25
334 Oh wow, it’s hitting me that this is so much easier without the kids around. 1.5238 0.04584 231 137 67 27
335 Ok, on the count of three, toss me the glass. 1.5234 0.04762 214 127 62 25
336 I'm quite the catch. 1.5223 0.04511 247 149 67 31
337 CAN YOUR WHORE DO THIS, MICHAEL? 1.5220 0.05470 205 135 33 37
338 If you're lucky, I'll drop just the ball. 1.5219 0.04833 228 141 55 32
339 Quick, pull the tablecloth. 1.5219 0.04502 228 133 71 24
340 When I said we need to do dinner and a show, this isn't exactly what I had in mind! 1.5219 0.04459 228 132 73 23
341 I hope for your sake this isn't a break-up dinner. 1.5217 0.05253 207 132 42 33
342 No, I've never had a "second date." Why do you ask? 1.5217 0.05117 207 129 48 30
343 I've got just one question: Are you feeling lucky today? 1.5217 0.04534 207 117 72 18
344 And you can’t juggle a girlfriend AND an internship? 1.5211 0.04826 213 128 59 26
345 I also enjoy knitting, reading, and walks on the beach. 1.5209 0.04882 215 131 56 28
346 And while no one asked, he continued to explain to her what she was doing wrong… 1.5204 0.05289 196 123 44 29
347 I can juggle everything but life, work and relationships. 1.5202 0.04734 198 114 65 19
348 No big whoop. I have three under the age of five. 1.5200 0.04717 225 136 61 28
349 No riskier than going without a mask! 1.5197 0.04655 229 138 63 28
350 So…do you have any hobbies? 1.5195 0.04666 231 140 62 29
351 Next I want to try juggling a full-time career, babies and knives. 1.5185 0.05082 216 137 46 33
352 It’s still easier than juggling motherhood and a career. 1.5167 0.05080 209 131 48 30
353 Toss me that glass of vodka. 1.5165 0.04656 242 150 59 33
354 I agree--people who check their cell phones during dinner are SO annoying. 1.5164 0.04687 213 126 64 23
355 This is what it is like to be a stay at home parent! 1.5158 0.04471 221 128 72 21
356 ....now, tell me something about yourself. 1.5152 0.04895 198 118 58 22
357 Mostly, I do it to enforce social distancing. 1.5148 0.04769 237 149 54 34
358 ….okay, she looked. She’s finally coming over. Get ready to order! 1.5143 0.05151 210 134 44 32
359 Right now, my work-life balance is up in the air. 1.5140 0.04479 214 123 72 19
360 So you refuse to wear a mask, but this you’re ok with? 1.5122 0.04706 246 156 54 36
361 I know, but if you don't get their attention, they'll never take our order 1.5120 0.04849 209 127 57 25
362 So, what did you learn during the pandemic? 1.5116 0.04883 215 133 54 28
363 Sure is nice to have a night out without having to juggle the baby. 1.5110 0.04970 227 146 46 35
364 Middle Child 1.5102 0.04770 196 115 62 19
365 At the next lesson, they teach us how to stop. 1.5101 0.04726 247 158 52 37
366 It's what women do. 1.5093 0.05033 214 136 47 31
367 No, really... You're interesting, I'm listening. 1.5093 0.04911 216 135 52 29
368 Working. Mom. In a pandemic. 1.5091 0.04756 220 135 58 27
369 I'll count 3, then you toss it back. 1.5080 0.05328 187 118 43 26
370 Can you try getting the waiter’s attention? 1.5077 0.04898 195 117 57 21
371 Now hand me the glass of water. 1.5075 0.04993 201 124 52 25
372 Liberal arts. What about you ? 1.5074 0.04956 203 125 53 25
373 Maybe now you’ll understand what a woman has to do just to make 70 cents on the dollar. 1.5072 0.04754 209 126 60 23
374 Hand me your drink. 1.5071 0.05220 211 138 39 34
375 Your Match profile said you were seeking someone who isn't afraid to take risks and likes to bike. 1.5071 0.05177 211 137 41 33
376 Now toss me a baby. 1.5069 0.05065 217 140 44 33
377 This distracts me from my fear of conversation. So, tell me about yourself. 1.5068 0.04407 219 127 73 19
378 Could you grab the bowling ball? I feel a sneeze coming on. 1.5068 0.04945 219 139 49 31
379 Oh good, I caught the waiter's attention 1.5067 0.04677 225 138 60 27
380 Majored in philosophy. Why do you ask? 1.5057 0.05160 176 106 51 19
381 I just feel really ready to have kids. 1.5055 0.05154 182 111 50 21
382 For my next act, I’ll need a job, two kids, and a dog. But don’t worry: you’ll get all the credit. 1.5055 0.05212 182 112 48 22
383 This helps distract me until the food arrives, so I don't fill up on rolls. 1.5055 0.04850 182 106 60 16
384 It seems awfully risky to eat inside without masks, don't you think? 1.5054 0.05283 184 115 45 24
385 It didn’t use to be so hard to make an impression on a first date. 1.5053 0.04936 190 114 56 20
386 Nah, this is plenty safe. I used to work for the governor. 1.5051 0.05250 198 127 42 29
387 Here's the show. Dinner's on you. 1.5050 0.04721 202 120 62 20
388 I feel like we don’t talk anymore. 1.5050 0.04875 202 123 56 23
389 Some guys find me a bit too much. 1.5049 0.05092 206 131 46 29
390 How about you? Do you have any special talents? 1.5048 0.04737 210 127 60 23
391 It’s a performance piece about my life. The juggled items represent our kids, my job, your mother’s advice and the unicycle is time. You represent yourself waiting for dinner, but don’t get off your ass Sweetie, not unless your chair catches fire. 1.5046 0.05167 216 142 39 35
392 If this doesn't get our server's attention, I'm going to take my clothes off. 1.5042 0.04747 236 150 53 33
393 For my next act, I want you to put an apple on your head. 1.5028 0.05157 179 109 50 20
394 I still feel like I'm not doing enough. 1.5028 0.05096 179 108 52 19
395 So Biff. You gotta ask yourself. Do you feel lucky tonight? 1.5026 0.05177 189 118 47 24
396 I think first dates are always a bit risky. 1.5026 0.04861 191 114 58 19
397 Dating after 40 has gotten so competitive. 1.5025 0.05121 197 124 47 26
398 AND i'm tying a cherry stem with my tongue! 1.5024 0.04862 211 131 54 26
399 Ok, Honey, you've made your point. I agree that being a wife and mother is a lot to juggle. 1.5023 0.04773 219 136 56 27
400 So your profile said you're an investor. That must be exciting. 1.5000 0.05211 190 120 45 25
401 Sure, I learned Portuguese too last year, but when am I ever going to use that? 1.5000 0.05270 182 114 45 23
402 To me, trust is the most important thing in a relationship. 1.5000 0.04913 182 108 57 17
403 Easy. Just don't ask me to try kids and career. 1.5000 0.05129 194 122 47 25
404 My mom never let me run with scissors 1.5000 0.05169 202 130 43 29
405 My hobbies? I like to read and do meditation. Why do you ask? 1.5000 0.05222 176 108 48 20
406 Strangely not my weirdest first date. 1.5000 0.04975 188 114 54 20
407 on the count of 3 toss me a salad 1.5000 0.04896 198 121 55 22
408 The app doesn't count it as steps without the chainsaw. 1.5000 0.05088 188 116 50 22
409 I told you in my profile with me ‘life is a circus’ 1.5000 0.04687 216 132 60 24
410 I'll be your waitress this evening. I'm also a screen writer, actress and circus artist. 1.5000 0.04705 206 124 61 21
411 Oh! I forgot my mask!! 1.4976 0.04954 211 134 49 28
412 See? My life is all about taking stupid risks. But why aren't YOU getting the vaccine? 1.4976 0.04944 209 132 50 27
413 And now you've got to try to pull the tablecloth out from under me. 1.4976 0.05017 205 130 48 27
414 Ok, on three, toss up the glass. 1.4975 0.05197 203 132 41 30
415 I’m just rehearsing for 2022. 1.4975 0.05031 199 125 49 25
416 You think this is dangerous? Try working for Gov. Cuomo. 1.4973 0.05092 185 114 50 21
417 honey just take your meds, before we are asked to leave 1.4971 0.05463 171 108 41 22
418 This helps ensure that I'm socially distanced by 6 feet. 1.4970 0.05382 169 105 44 20
419 So, you were telling me about how you learned to bake bread over quarantine? 1.4963 0.06029 135 84 35 16
420 Of course I also went through the whole banana bread and homemade sourdough thing during lockdown. 1.4958 0.04351 236 142 71 23
421 Still think indoor dining feels safe? 1.4951 0.04655 206 124 62 20
422 I mean it...toss me the glass 1.4951 0.04789 204 125 57 22
423 First it was puzzles. Then sourdough starter. And one thing led to another. 1.4948 0.05274 192 124 41 27
424 This is nothing compared to being a single mom. 1.4947 0.05031 188 116 51 21
425 Enough about me. 1.4945 0.04974 182 110 54 18
426 So,this is what it takes to be the first woman governor of New York. 1.4944 0.05543 180 118 35 27
427 The only trick I haven't mastered is how to stop doing this once I've started 1.4944 0.05372 180 115 41 24
428 Your profile didn’t say anything about a bowling ball… 1.4944 0.04927 178 106 56 16
429 I can do it in heels, but I didn’t want to be a showoff. 1.4943 0.05160 176 108 49 19
430 Don’t worry, I’m Canadian so my healthcare is free. 1.4939 0.05367 164 101 45 18
431 It's actually safer than being an anti-vaxer 1.4925 0.05092 201 129 45 27
432 But, really, tell me about yourself. 1.4921 0.05011 189 117 51 21
433 Marry me, Ted. I'm a good catch." 1.4912 0.05462 171 109 40 22
434 I'm nervous. This is the first time I've done this without a mask. 1.4911 0.05316 169 105 45 19
435 One of these represents our current relationship status. Care to guess which one? 1.4910 0.05363 167 104 44 19
436 So,do I get the job? 1.4903 0.04603 206 124 63 19
437 Yes, I'm a single working mom. How can you tell? 1.4899 0.04895 198 123 53 22
438 This is a nice break from kids, job, laundry and soccer practice. 1.4899 0.05200 198 129 41 28
439 I can't put my finger on why, but I just think we're incompatible. 1.4895 0.04763 190 114 59 17
440 Still easier than covid homeschooling 1.4894 0.04568 235 148 59 28
441 Can you pass the salt? 1.4892 0.04955 186 114 53 19
442 Honestly, this is much easier than being married to you. 1.4891 0.05339 184 119 40 25
443 I swear I will never say "just drop it" again 1.4891 0.05053 184 114 50 20
444 Wait until you see what I do on the third date. 1.4887 0.04740 221 140 54 27
445 I wasn’t kidding when I said I have a lot to juggle in life 1.4884 0.05311 172 108 44 20
446 I used to do this in heels. 1.4882 0.05358 170 107 43 20
447 Now kiss me. 1.4881 0.05536 168 108 38 22
448 This is all I was really qualified for after law school 1.4880 0.05108 166 100 51 15
449 Okay, now hand me the water. 1.4874 0.05031 199 127 47 25
450 I normally don't perform on a first date 1.4873 0.05138 158 94 51 13
451 I'm also a single mom. 1.4873 0.04966 197 124 50 23
452 Oh,this is easy. I’m a working mom! 1.4870 0.04989 193 121 50 22
453 Now do you believe that I can handle your family? 1.4868 0.05177 189 121 44 24
454 Did I mention I'm also a single mom? 1.4865 0.04893 222 145 46 31
455 It was either this or work from home. 1.4863 0.04831 183 110 57 16
456 You think this is dangerous? You're not even wearing a mask. 1.4861 0.04639 216 134 59 23
457 So what do you think now? Am I ready to have kids? 1.4857 0.05367 175 112 41 22
458 This really isn’t necessary, Sarah. You had me at “hello.” 1.4855 0.05094 173 106 50 17
459 If this doesn’t get the waiter’s attention, I’m out of here! 1.4852 0.05249 169 105 46 18
460 Thanks for asking. What are your hobbies? 1.4850 0.04869 167 98 57 12
461 Ok, he’s coming over. Be ready to order. 1.4850 0.05160 200 131 41 28
462 At least you didn’t make me jump through any hoops. 1.4840 0.04858 188 115 55 18
463 No Kyle, sex isn’t on the table… I’m juggling quite a lot already 1.4837 0.06228 153 105 22 26
464 This is nothing… wait till you see me do work, children, and active social life. 1.4831 0.05238 178 113 44 21
465 Honey, I think it would be safer if you were wearing a mask. 1.4829 0.04853 234 156 43 35
466 Toss me your drink anytime. 1.4824 0.05022 170 103 52 15
467 Don’t judge me till the evening gown segment of our date. 1.4824 0.05422 170 109 40 21
468 No, not right off the bat. I actually started with just a fidget spinner. 1.4821 0.05338 168 106 43 19
469 Throw me your water glass. 1.4821 0.05599 168 110 35 23
470 Sorry, I never use a blindfold on a first date. 1.4815 0.05484 162 103 40 19
471 So, what did YOU learn to do during the lockdown? 1.4813 0.05217 187 121 42 24
472 See – not all Tinder bios tell lies 1.4812 0.05243 160 98 47 15
473 … this is easier than being around your mother. 1.4812 0.05606 160 103 37 20
474 If you can just pick up your glass, we can call that “doing your half.” 1.4809 0.05304 183 119 40 24
475 Online dating is just a lot more competitive now. 1.4808 0.05641 156 100 37 19
476 I think a relationship would be too much to juggle right now. 1.4804 0.04985 204 132 46 26
477 Can't we just go back to making sourdough bread? 1.4803 0.05360 152 93 45 14
478 Throw me that glass of water. 1.4800 0.05574 150 94 40 16
479 I just have a lot of things in the air right now. 1.4800 0.05179 175 110 46 19
480 Did you pick up any hobbies during quarantine? 1.4800 0.05179 175 110 46 19
481 You won't believe how many people also expect me to catch this stuff on the way down. 1.4800 0.05305 175 112 42 21
482 Oh did you think that line in my profile was a joke? 1.4800 0.05115 175 109 48 18
483 This is my break-up routine. 1.4798 0.05158 173 108 47 18
484 Now, hand me the glass. 1.4790 0.05155 167 103 48 16
485 My last date said I was trying too hard to impress him, so I ditched my signature blindfold. 1.4788 0.05409 165 105 41 19
486 You still think I'm unbalanced? 1.4788 0.05477 165 106 39 20
487 I usually don’t go all the way like this in the first date. 1.4788 0.04908 165 98 55 12
488 Enough about me. What do YOU like to do? 1.4783 0.05293 161 100 45 16
489 I usually save this for the second date. 1.4780 0.05113 159 96 50 13
490 I'm not like other girls 1.4780 0.05341 159 99 44 16
491 My shrink thinks I have a fear of intimacy that leads me to keep everyone at a safe distance. 1.4778 0.05073 180 113 48 19
492 At least I’m not a mime. 1.4777 0.05686 157 102 35 20
493 I always try to be myself on a first date. 1.4775 0.04989 178 110 51 17
494 Why yes, I am, a working Mom. How did you guess? 1.4770 0.05005 174 107 51 16
495 Dangerous? I wasn't feeling endangered until you told me you're not vaccinated. 1.4767 0.04932 193 122 50 21
496 I think I finally got the waiter's attention. 1.4765 0.05224 170 107 45 18
497 So, now I know I’m ready for kids. You? 1.4759 0.05452 166 107 39 20
498 Did I mention I also went to Harvard. 1.4753 0.05341 162 102 43 17
499 Do I have your full attention now? 1.4753 0.05121 162 99 49 14
500 Doug couldn’t shake the feeling that his blind date was a bit desperate. 1.4749 0.04591 219 138 58 23
501 It's just a fun little party trick I picked up in the third grade. So, what's a fun fact about you? 1.4747 0.05135 158 96 49 13
502 Quick, toss me the baby. 1.4747 0.05586 158 102 37 19
503 Thanks for coming. I just feel like such a spectacle dining alone 1.4747 0.05658 158 103 35 20
504 See,I told you I am good at juggling life. 1.4743 0.05303 175 113 41 21
505 If my phone rings, please pick it up. 1.4742 0.04747 194 120 56 18
506 Did I tell you about my ADHD? 1.4740 0.05025 173 107 50 16
507 I'm just practicing for motherhood. 1.4737 0.05332 171 110 41 20
508 True, but for the life of me, I can't balance my checkbook. 1.4733 0.05652 150 96 37 17
509 My previous relationships all ended at the emergency room. 1.4732 0.04868 205 132 49 24
510 I’ve too often been criticized for always playing it safe on first dates 1.4730 0.05461 148 92 42 14
511 So what did you do with YOUR free time during the pandemic? 1.4725 0.05030 182 115 48 19
512 Okay, and now I remove my bra without taking off my blouse. 1.4724 0.05728 163 109 31 23
513 I forgot to list my hobbies in the dating app. 1.4724 0.05172 163 101 47 15
514 I just wanted to give you a demo of what motherhood in the pandemic feels like. 1.4724 0.05594 163 107 35 21
515 To be honest, friends say I try too hard to impress. 1.4724 0.04661 199 123 58 18
516 When Harry met side show Sally. 1.4719 0.05236 178 115 42 21
517 AND, I'm the mother of your children! 1.4717 0.05630 159 104 35 20
518 You were right; it is better without the blindfold. 1.4717 0.05559 159 103 37 19
519 This is nothing. My other job is Stay-At-Home Mom. 1.4716 0.05341 176 115 39 22
520 I already mastered sourdough. 1.4713 0.05235 157 97 46 14
521 Really? I never have a problem getting the waiter's attention. 1.4713 0.05069 174 109 48 17
522 No really, tell me how tough the past year and a half has been for you. 1.4709 0.04977 172 106 51 15
523 I'll take "truth" next time! 1.4709 0.05308 172 111 41 20
524 I haven't done this before, so you might want to move your glass. 1.4706 0.05482 170 112 36 22
525 It was at that moment that he realized that his wife was juggling too much” ☠ 1.4706 0.05608 170 114 32 24
526 Yes, I've tried a fidget spinner. 1.4702 0.05401 168 109 39 20
527 See? You went five whole seconds without glancing at the football game over my shoulder. 1.4699 0.05382 166 107 40 19
528 Beth subtly makes her point about the many demands on today’s woman. 1.4693 0.05273 179 117 40 22
529 This is easy. Try balancing work and family. 1.4692 0.04995 211 141 41 29
530 I had a lot of spare time during Covid… 1.4690 0.05711 145 93 36 16
531 The special today is... duck! 1.4688 0.05602 160 105 35 20
532 I'm a nuclear physicist. I do this to unwind. 1.4685 0.05508 143 89 41 13
533 So much for Match.com 1.4680 0.04594 203 126 59 18
534 Is this your first time using Jugglr? 1.4679 0.05563 156 101 37 18
535 I hope you don't think I'm coming on too strong for a first date. 1.4679 0.05336 156 98 43 15
536 Oh, this is fine. Next week I go back to zoom schooling my kindergartener while working full time. 1.4679 0.05489 156 100 39 17
537 Very impressive, Susan, but do you also mind working remotely and homeschooling our kids during a global pandemic? 1.4678 0.05132 171 108 46 17
538 Any sign of the waiter? 1.4675 0.05464 154 98 40 16
539 By the look on your face when you said 'Let's do something crazy!' ... Im now thinking you meant order dessert... or have an extra bottle of wine...??! 1.4671 0.05221 167 106 44 17
540 Don't worry; I won't drop the ball. 1.4670 0.05265 182 120 39 23
541 It pays better and is less dangerous than waitressing. 1.4667 0.05130 180 116 44 20
542 Sure, she spoke four languages, was a neurosurgeon by day, and had the face of a model. But as Dave watched the woman ten years his junior perform amazing circus tricks to keep his attention, he couldn’t help but notice that her body was merely a 7. 1.4667 0.05958 150 101 28 21
543 I think the wait staff sees me now" 1.4663 0.04818 193 122 52 19
544 I admit, cultivating these skills made more sense during lockdown. 1.4658 0.05064 161 99 49 13
545 If I was too drunk to drive, could I do this? 1.4658 0.05362 161 103 41 17
546 That’s impressive honey, but can we go ahead and order? 1.4658 0.05426 146 91 42 13
547 This is a metaphor for parenting. 1.4658 0.05681 146 94 36 16
548 This is how we teachers are getting ready for the new school year. 1.4655 0.05067 174 110 47 17
549 Anyway, those are the specials 1.4654 0.05698 159 106 32 21
550 I learned to make a pretty nice sourdough. Oh, also I got a dog! 1.4648 0.05534 142 89 40 13
551 Very impressive, Julie, but those skills still only earn you $0.82 to my $1.00. 1.4643 0.05530 168 112 34 22
552 Would you like to go bowling after dinner or cut down a tree? 1.4638 0.05741 138 88 36 14
553 just like January 6th honey , you can be a circus clown and a domestic terrorist at the same time. 1.4635 0.05163 192 128 39 25
554 Glenn knew she was out of his league before the unicycle hit the table. 1.4632 0.05041 190 124 44 22
555 In one smooth motion, whisk away the tablecloth. 1.4630 0.05191 162 102 45 15
556 I like a little balance in my life. 1.4630 0.05041 162 100 49 13
557 So what's YOUR hobby? 1.4629 0.04980 175 110 49 16
558 Speed dating is getting so competitive! 1.4625 0.05600 160 106 34 20
559 You know what they say, "Go for the juggler." 1.4624 0.05407 173 115 36 22
560 Maybe you're right- a baby right now might be one thing too many. 1.4624 0.05218 173 112 42 19
561 COVID may have prevented me from dating .. but I perfected this for when lockdowns ended. 1.4624 0.04707 186 115 56 15
562 That’s enough about me. What exactly to YOU bring to the table? 1.4620 0.05360 158 101 41 16
563 Yeah, so I don't feel comfortable talking about why I've had so few second dates. 1.4620 0.05455 171 114 35 22
564 Tell me more about your thrilling accounting job. 1.4620 0.05197 171 110 43 18
565 Ok, now climb on my shoulders. 1.4615 0.05681 143 92 36 15
566 Thanks for finally putting your phone away. 1.4615 0.05241 169 109 42 18
567 Yes, I'm a professional and a single mom. How did you know? 1.4611 0.05306 180 120 37 23
568 So, what do you bring to the table? 1.4610 0.05461 154 99 39 16
569 Oh, crap, not again! I always end up doing this when I meet someone I like. 1.4610 0.05999 141 94 29 18
570 My therapist says that I don't need to try so hard to please others, but I don't know... 1.4604 0.05710 139 89 36 14
571 I just feel like I'm doing all the work in this relationship. 1.4604 0.04867 202 132 47 23
572 Yes, I can chew gum also. 1.4601 0.05093 163 102 47 14
573 When you said you were juggling a lot right now, I assumed you were talking about your life. 1.4596 0.05431 161 105 38 18
574 Sorry, I thought your profile said you were a jogger. 1.4595 0.04673 222 146 50 26
575 What I learned on my Pandemic "vacation" 1.4593 0.04763 172 105 55 12
576 Now do you believe I can multitask? 1.4591 0.05625 159 106 33 20
577 It’s actually easier than juggling my personal responsibilities” 1.4591 0.05106 159 99 47 13
578 I guess that extra pot of coffee did have an effect. 1.4588 0.05013 170 107 48 15
579 Are you kidding? This is nothing for a single mom of 4. 1.4588 0.05284 170 111 40 19
580 ready for a lap dance? 1.4586 0.06270 133 90 25 18
581 You're staring...is there something in my teeth? 1.4586 0.05699 133 84 37 12
582 How did you guess I'm a single mom with three children? 1.4586 0.05606 157 104 34 19
583 Working mother trying to explain her life to husband…… 1.4575 0.05326 153 97 42 14
584 This is so embarrassing, I forgot my bowling pin. 1.4575 0.05245 153 96 44 13
585 Not even a smile? Tough room. 1.4573 0.04843 164 100 53 11
586 What do you mean " what do i do for an encore "? 1.4570 0.05617 151 99 35 17
587 Get out your phone. I dare you. 1.4570 0.05376 151 96 41 14
588 Damn! Is that my cellphone? 1.4565 0.05738 138 89 35 14
589 Now that I have your attention, Get your Covid shot. 1.4565 0.05919 138 91 31 16
590 There's no Olympic event for this yet, but I like to keep in practice. 1.4565 0.05454 138 86 41 11
591 See, I was NOT lying in my profile. 1.4564 0.05511 149 96 38 15
592 You want me to really blow your mind? Pass me your Gin and Tonic. 1.4563 0.05455 160 105 37 18
593 I've lived through a pandemic. It's hard to impress me any more. 1.4556 0.04748 180 112 54 14
594 we don't do lap dances anymore 1.4552 0.05956 134 88 31 15
595 I'd be happy to split the check... 1.4552 0.05861 134 87 33 14
596 Online dating has become such a circus these days 1.4551 0.05252 156 99 43 14
597 Sorry, I do this when I'm nervous. 1.4545 0.05468 165 110 35 20
598 Well, you don't exactly look like your profile photo either. 1.4540 0.05015 163 102 48 13
599 I'm leaving you to join the circus. 1.4539 0.05666 152 101 33 18
600 If you think this is hard, you should try fighting the patiarchy! 1.4539 0.05510 152 99 37 16
601 I’m pretty sure I asked for a lap dance. 1.4538 0.06471 130 90 21 19
602 I can still feel you undressing me with your eyes. 1.4533 0.05563 150 98 36 16
603 Do you think he’ll bring the menus now? 1.4526 0.05672 137 88 36 13
604 It’s way easier than juggling career, marriage, and motherhood. 1.4524 0.05394 168 112 36 20
605 I can also do a job and two kids 1.4521 0.05505 146 94 38 14
606 ...and I have no children, I own my home, and my credit score is phenomenal! 1.4521 0.05331 146 92 42 12
607 This is nothing compared with the daily challenges associated with being born with two X chromosomes. 1.4521 0.05919 146 99 28 19
608 Relax! There’s no gravity in a cartoon. 1.4516 0.05353 155 100 40 15
609 What’s it going to take to get this waiter’s attention? 1.4514 0.05560 144 93 37 14
610 And that's when I decided the vaccine just isn't safe. 1.4512 0.05283 164 107 40 17
611 I want a guy who won't feel threatened by my talent. 1.4510 0.05560 153 101 35 17
612 Same ol' same ol'! How 'bout you? 1.4507 0.05791 142 94 32 16
613 Well, I don’t see YOU doing anything to spice up the relationship. 1.4507 0.05527 142 91 38 13
614 I still can't get the waiter's attention. 1.4506 0.05034 162 102 47 13
615 'But can she do this? 1.4500 0.05078 160 101 46 13
616 What I really want to do is direct. 1.4500 0.04840 160 98 52 10
617 Next time I think we should get a table outside. 1.4497 0.05167 149 93 45 11
618 Your dating profile said you liked someone who could multitask! 1.4494 0.05103 178 117 42 19
619 My mom was a multitasker and my dad was a jack of all trades. 1.4494 0.05428 158 104 37 17
620 Toss me the breast pump. 1.4490 0.05886 147 100 28 19
621 It's great for enforcing social distancing. 1.4488 0.05885 127 82 33 12
622 As you can see, I bring a lot of skills to the table. 1.4487 0.05403 156 102 38 16
623 Can you throw me the menu? 1.4483 0.05530 145 94 37 14
624 It was either this or elementary school bus driver and this seemed less dangerous. 1.4483 0.05443 145 93 39 13
625 This is nothing, try juggling three teenagers! 1.4478 0.06138 134 91 26 17
626 So, just to summarize this little demonstration, it’s your turn to take care of the kids, Justin. 1.4474 0.05888 152 105 26 21
627 You have to get creative since women’s clothes rarely have pockets 1.4472 0.05704 161 111 28 22
628 I told you before I agreed to this date that I was juggling a lot. 1.4471 0.05211 170 112 40 18
629 I'm sorry, but the stripper is off tonight. 1.4460 0.05792 139 92 32 15
630 Now do I get a 20% tip? 1.4459 0.05376 157 103 38 16
631 I finally just said ‘the hell with the whole mindfulness thing.’ 1.4459 0.05814 157 109 26 22
632 You seem distracted. 1.4453 0.05525 128 80 39 9
633 I don’t know why you thought I was lying about this in my dating profile 1.4453 0.05667 137 89 35 13
634 Well, ADHD, but otherwise nothing. 1.4452 0.05326 146 93 41 12
635 This is a lot easier than juggling motherhood and a career. 1.4452 0.05237 146 92 43 11
636 This is nothing! You should have seen what they had me do at my last job interview! 1.4452 0.05146 146 91 45 10
637 Next, I need you to pull the table cloth out from under me 1.4444 0.05318 153 99 40 14
638 And not only that, there's a load of laundry in the wash. 1.4437 0.05116 151 95 45 11
639 It’s a living… for now 1.4437 0.05530 151 100 35 16
640 Do you think that we should have washed the dishes instead? 1.4437 0.05873 142 96 29 17
641 I’d say I am ready for parenting 1.4437 0.05612 142 93 35 14
642 Yes, I do get nervous on first dates. Why do you ask? 1.4436 0.05588 133 85 37 11
643 I think I got our waiter’s attention, Mickey. Toss me your wallet. 1.4422 0.05640 147 98 33 16
644 I just feel like I'm working much harder in this relationship." 1.4417 0.06126 120 79 29 12
645 If I can do this at dinner, imagine what I can do in the bedroom 1.4416 0.05371 154 101 38 15
646 I’ve learned a lot about myself during quarantine. 1.4416 0.05129 154 98 44 12
647 Sandy gradually learned a few tricks to help her stand out in the speed dating pool. 1.4414 0.05438 145 94 38 13
648 I'm a single mom with two kids and a full-time job....THIS is easy! 1.4414 0.05526 145 95 36 14
649 I can't believe you haven't looked at your phone for like 3 whole minutes 1.4412 0.05500 136 87 38 11
650 Your ad said you liked women who take risks. 1.4408 0.05175 152 97 43 12
651 Yes I’m a mom! How did you know that? 1.4408 0.05422 152 100 37 15
652 And for my next trick, I'm going to make our relationship disappear. 1.4406 0.06006 143 99 25 19
653 If I shout “duck”, it’s not about the daily special. 1.4400 0.05836 125 81 33 11
654 Since you claim to be more of a ‘visual’ learner, I thought this would help explain how my day was. 1.4400 0.05391 150 98 38 14
655 I learned this from my mother. She had six kids. 1.4394 0.06013 132 89 28 15
656 If you can catch just one, I'll pick up the check. 1.4390 0.05789 123 79 34 10
657 I’m sorry, Brian. I just have a lot going on in my life right now. 1.4386 0.04911 171 110 47 14
658 Not much. What did you do during the lockdown? 1.4384 0.05496 146 96 36 14
659 Let me guess, middle child? 1.4379 0.05314 153 100 39 14
660 Throw me a kiss. 1.4379 0.05628 153 104 31 18
661 And this is how I became a widow. 1.4375 0.05462 144 94 37 13
662 I was attracted to your online profile, referring to your life these past few years as a juggling act. 1.4367 0.04871 158 99 49 10
663 I swear, nothing impresses you anymore. 1.4367 0.05269 158 104 39 15
664 You say I can't juggle both children and a career . . . so I'll probably drop something, eh? 1.4366 0.05606 142 94 34 14
665 Normally I wouldn’t do this on the first date. 1.4359 0.05394 156 104 36 16
666 Now that I have your full attention, let me tell you about our specials for today. 1.4357 0.05664 140 93 33 14
667 I told you I had to juggle a few things when you asked me out. 1.4351 0.05123 154 99 43 12
668 And that’s just a little about me. Tell me about you. 1.4345 0.04973 145 90 47 8
669 And I still only earn 84 cents to your dollar. 1.4342 0.05575 152 103 32 17
670 ‘I wouldn’t have to do this if they would just pass the $25 minimum wage’ 1.4341 0.05486 129 82 38 9
671 Wow Janice, that year and a half stuck indoors has really paid off for you. 1.4338 0.05493 136 88 37 11
672 I know it wasn't on my Tinder profile but I always like to go the extra mile 1.4337 0.04863 166 106 48 12
673 My other talent is running with scissors 1.4331 0.06183 127 87 25 15
674 I preferred it when you had to sing for your supper. 1.4326 0.05355 141 91 39 11
675 Normally, I save the chainsaw for the second date. 1.4326 0.05721 141 95 31 15
676 Now that I have your attention, I'm pregnant 1.4324 0.05845 148 103 26 19
677 This is still safer than skipping the vaccine. 1.4324 0.05766 148 102 28 18
678 Of course I have time to shop for your mothers birthday gift! 1.4324 0.05604 148 100 32 16
679 No, I’d love to hear about your podcast. 1.4324 0.05088 148 94 44 10
680 I thought you might like dinner and a show. 1.4320 0.05368 125 78 40 7
681 Your bio said brown hair 1.4317 0.05597 139 92 34 13
682 No mask? How risky. 1.4314 0.05389 153 102 36 15
683 Okay, now show me your tablecloth trick! 1.4309 0.06226 123 84 25 14
684 I tell ya, dating in your 40s is a real circus! 1.4307 0.05262 137 87 41 9
685 Dad, this is my way of telling you I'm dropping out of law school. 1.4305 0.05520 151 102 33 16
686 I didn't mention it in my profile because some men find it intimidating. 1.4304 0.05264 158 105 38 15
687 Woops! 1.4297 0.05941 128 86 29 13
688 This one is called "Working from Home with Toddlers." 1.4297 0.06043 128 87 27 14
689 I am trying to let you know that I am pregnant! 1.4297 0.05836 128 85 31 12
690 Of course I'm vaccinated. I wouldn't put myself in a really dangerous situation. 1.4297 0.05941 128 86 29 13
691 Now tell me, Jim. What did YOU do during the COVID shut-down? 1.4297 0.06043 128 87 27 14
692 These sobriety test are getting a little ridiculous. 1.4296 0.05905 135 92 28 15
693 You’re probably asking yourself “But can she balance the responsibilities of a committed relationship?” 1.4296 0.05617 135 89 34 12
694 For my next trick I'll be trying to survive on the wages I make from working here 1.4296 0.05998 135 93 26 16
695 When I stop, get the hell out of the way. 1.4296 0.05419 142 93 37 12
696 Hang on - I'll tell you when to toss me the glass. 1.4296 0.05689 142 96 31 15
697 This is what I bring to the table... show me what you got? 1.4295 0.05238 149 97 40 12
698 I'm also a vegan. 1.4295 0.05574 149 101 32 16
699 I feel like I can just be myself with you. 1.4286 0.05287 147 96 39 12
700 When you described yourself as an "exhibitionist" I was imagining something else... 1.4286 0.05874 133 90 29 14
701 Couldn't go out on a date during COVID, but I managed to pick up some skills while I was quarantining at home. 1.4286 0.06008 126 85 28 13
702 So your dating profile mentioned wanted a girl who could juggle several tasks at once. Does this qualify? 1.4286 0.05281 154 102 38 14
703 I’m not sure how else to prove I’ll be a good mother. 1.4286 0.06113 126 86 26 14
704 Is because you heard I did tricks the only reason you asked me out? 1.4286 0.05951 147 104 23 20
705 This is what modern feminism looks like 1.4286 0.05282 140 90 40 10
706 What Else? Throw me my chair. 1.4276 0.05338 145 95 38 12
707 I used to be a nurse, but it was too dangerous. 1.4276 0.05600 145 98 32 15
708 "I'm auditioning to be your busy suburban wife and mother of 3." 1.4276 0.05600 145 98 32 15
709 You are lucky, Joe. This usually happens only on my third date. 1.4276 0.05338 145 95 38 12
710 I guess it was wrong of me to think breaking up with you in public would prevent you from making a scene. 1.4275 0.05939 131 89 28 14
711 And I'm fully vaccinated! 1.4274 0.05745 124 81 33 10
712 I do not need a partner, I need an audience. 1.4266 0.05657 143 97 31 15
713 Bill had a different picture in mind when he saw that the new club had "table-dancing." 1.4266 0.05569 143 96 33 14
714 Now are you out of your comfort zone? 1.4265 0.05386 136 88 38 10
715 Nah. Risky would be telling me to add in a smile. 1.4265 0.06053 136 95 24 17
716 Sorry, I feel like I've been talking about myself all night. 1.4262 0.05693 122 79 34 9
717 This is nothing compared to being a mother 1.4254 0.05643 134 89 33 12
718 Topless is extra 1.4252 0.06176 127 88 24 15
719 It was either clown college or law school 1.4250 0.06445 120 84 21 15
720 Sure, George. I’ll put the kids to bed, too. 1.4250 0.06336 120 83 23 14
721 So after I mastered the sour dough....... 1.4247 0.05309 146 96 38 12
722 I used the lockdown to hone some new skills, how about you? 1.4242 0.05703 132 88 32 12
723 No problem. I'm a woman. 1.4242 0.05703 132 88 32 12
724 I guess indoor dining without masks is still dangerous. 1.4242 0.05601 132 87 34 11
725 Yes, I will forgive your infidelity—if you can catch the chainsaw and toss it back without severing your arm. 1.4241 0.05557 158 110 29 19
726 I'm practicing for parenthood. 1.4239 0.05022 184 126 38 20
727 I also have a law degree. 1.4236 0.05711 144 99 29 16
728 ...but I don't cook. 1.4234 0.05356 137 89 38 10
729 Sweetheart, could you run to the store and buy an axe for me please? 1.4234 0.05255 137 88 40 9
730 I then I have to juggle you and the kids. 1.4234 0.05743 137 93 30 14
731 This all seems pretty dangerous … I’d really be more comfortable if you’d put on your mask 1.4233 0.05428 163 113 31 19
732 COVID wasn't a complete waste of time. 1.4231 0.06067 130 90 25 15
733 I learned this during quarantine. But really, tell me more about your sourdough! 1.4231 0.05765 130 87 31 12
734 It's the plate spinning they frown on. 1.4231 0.05335 130 83 39 8
735 You're drinking tap water? Don't you know how dangerous that is? 1.4228 0.05486 149 101 33 15
736 This? This is easy. I'm a teacher. 1.4228 0.05568 149 102 31 16
737 As the marriage counselor said, keep your husband entertained. 1.4228 0.06110 123 84 26 13
738 Don't worry. I almost got a bronze. 1.4225 0.05128 142 91 42 9
739 All I asked was how you juggle work and play!” 1.4215 0.05839 121 80 31 10
740 This is what I mean by spicing up our dinners out. 1.4215 0.05956 121 81 29 11
741 I think first dates are always risky 1.4207 0.05508 145 98 33 14
742 As a present, I'd like to give you this unique and special opportunity to mansplain juggling to me. 1.4207 0.05508 145 98 33 14
743 Ok,now pass me the water glass 1.4206 0.05894 126 85 29 12
744 I guess I'm just looking for a guy who doesn't make me jump through hoops, you know? 1.4206 0.05561 126 82 35 9
745 Safer than going unvaccinated! 1.4204 0.05279 157 106 36 15
746 Stability is very important to me in a relationship 1.4203 0.05892 138 96 26 16
747 It's terrific that restaurants are safe again. 1.4202 0.05660 119 77 34 8
748 All right, I’ll help with the kids and housework. 1.4202 0.05785 119 78 32 9
749 Whatever you do, don't make me laugh! 1.4202 0.05785 119 78 32 9
750 So, what have you been doing with your time during the lockdown? 1.4200 0.05205 150 99 39 12
751 I think you'll agree that compared to this married life should be easy. 1.4200 0.05205 150 99 39 12
752 It's not much, but I've gotta save something for the second date. 1.4198 0.05730 131 88 31 12
753 Without a condom, are you nuts? 1.4194 0.05850 124 83 30 11
754 Along the same lines, I’m also not vaccinated! 1.4194 0.06282 124 87 22 15
755 Anyway it's not a big deal, tell me more about your record collection! 1.4191 0.05276 136 88 39 9
756 Could you pass me a glass of water? 1.4191 0.05577 136 91 33 12
757 Deciding which one to drop is more stressful than continuing to juggle 1.4191 0.05577 136 91 33 12
758 I hate small talk. 1.4188 0.05595 117 75 35 7
759 I came prepared for a lull in the conversation. 1.4188 0.05852 117 77 31 9
760 My profile did say “well balanced risk taker”. 1.4184 0.05618 141 96 31 14
761 On my dating profile , I did write I had several things up in the air at this time. 1.4183 0.04961 153 99 44 10
762 I’m not comfortable with this— it’s very unsafe. Why aren’t you wearing a mask? 1.4183 0.05214 153 102 38 13
763 Hand me the glass 1.4182 0.05972 110 72 30 8
764 Yes, Todd. I *did* notice that you emptied the dishwasher. Thank you *so much*. 1.4179 0.05927 134 93 26 15
765 The hand sanitiser was a mistake 1.4174 0.06296 115 79 24 12
766 I killed a lot of people before I got this next part right. 1.4173 0.05856 127 86 29 12
767 Honey, have you seen my blindfold? 1.4173 0.05413 127 82 37 8
768 But enough about me... 1.4167 0.05986 120 81 28 11
769 My day? You Know. The usual. Yours? 1.4167 0.05695 132 89 31 12
770 Once you've raised triplets, everything else is easy. 1.4167 0.05382 132 86 37 9
771 What is it like to be a single mom? Here's a short demonstration... 1.4167 0.05992 132 92 25 15
772 You want hard, try single, a minimum wage job, and three kids. 1.4160 0.05923 125 85 28 12
773 Can you hand me that glass of water please? 1.4160 0.05586 125 82 34 9
774 Now just imagine what I can do in bed! 1.4160 0.05813 125 84 30 11
775 Cool, right??!! Tinder cropped out the torch and chainsaw on my profile pic 1.4155 0.05496 142 96 33 13
776 ….: and I also like taking long walks and little puppies. 1.4154 0.05859 130 89 28 13
777 found knitting during lockdown too boring! 1.4154 0.05756 130 88 30 12
778 So how was your nearly one-dimensional, staring at a screen all day day? Honey. 1.4148 0.05502 135 90 34 11
779 When I asked for a booth and a private show this isn't what I had in mind. 1.4146 0.05764 123 82 31 10
780 Now let’s add the baby! 1.4146 0.06316 123 87 21 15
781 Oh, this? I’ve taken up juggling to sharpen my skills as mother, spouse, daughter and bread winner! 1.4146 0.05764 123 82 31 10
782 So then I decided to get a second degree from Harvard 1.4143 0.05363 140 93 36 11
783 I see, so you're looking for a woman who has her own career, wants at least three children, and is ok doing more than half of the housework. And what would you bring to the relationship? 1.4141 0.05604 128 85 33 10
784 You think this is hard? Try having teenagers. 1.4138 0.05413 145 98 34 13
785 All this is to say I really don’t think I can also juggle a relationship right now. 1.4138 0.05587 145 100 30 15
786 And yet,somehow,the mansplaining continues. 1.4138 0.06714 116 84 16 16
787 So tonight was just all an act?" 1.4138 0.05881 116 77 30 9
788 Backwards and in heels wasn't conveying over zoom 1.4135 0.05858 133 92 27 14
789 I'm sorry, am I boring you? 1.4132 0.05946 121 82 28 11
790 And I make a great lasagna. 1.4130 0.05513 138 93 33 12
791 Can you see why it's hard for me to sympathize when you complain about juggling home and work life? 1.4130 0.05608 138 94 31 13
792 And you in the front row, where are you from? 1.4127 0.05885 126 86 28 12
793 After 18 months of quarantine, Eleanor was determined her first date night out would leave an impression. Or a scar. 1.4127 0.05551 126 83 34 9
794 It’s not you,it’s definitely me. 1.4127 0.05776 126 85 30 11
795 Your dating profile said you could juggle four items 1.4127 0.05992 126 87 26 13
796 According to Fox News, this is more efficient than masks” 1.4123 0.06080 114 77 27 10
797 OK ... throw me the baby and in six weeks we'll try to add in the career. 1.4122 0.05332 148 100 35 13
798 It's a skill I picked up working for the Trump Organizaton. 1.4118 0.06016 119 81 27 11
799 And now you want me to add a baby? 1.4113 0.05727 124 83 31 10
800 I spent the pandemic learning to be approachable but edgy. 1.4113 0.05840 124 84 29 11
801 I am woman… 1.4112 0.06499 107 74 22 11
802 And yet I still get paid less than you. 1.4109 0.06089 129 91 23 15
803 I’m glad I was able to juggle things around to have lunch with you. 1.4107 0.05888 112 74 30 8
804 You know what DOES scare me? You're not six feet away! 1.4104 0.05823 134 93 27 14
805 Would you hand me the water? 1.4104 0.05918 134 94 25 15
806 You’re doing it wrong. 1.4104 0.05918 134 94 25 15
807 Ok you had a busier day than I did 1.4091 0.05960 110 73 29 8
808 Imagine what I can do on our second date! 1.4091 0.05479 132 88 34 10
809 So, yeah, I can juggle family and a career. 1.4088 0.05911 137 97 24 16
810 I told you, I don’t need a man to complete me. Just an audience 1.4088 0.05536 137 93 32 12
811 I just don’t trust the vaccine 1.4087 0.05780 115 76 31 8
812 I can also breastfeed and cook while doing it 1.4087 0.06285 115 80 23 12
813 To be safe you should wear a mask. 1.4085 0.05303 142 95 36 11
814 When I say "now" toss me that glass of nitro. 1.4083 0.06317 120 85 21 14
815 Just a tossed salad for me. 1.4080 0.05691 125 84 31 10
816 It's great for social distancing. 1.4077 0.05536 130 87 33 10
817 I've only dropped the ball once! 1.4077 0.05536 130 87 33 10
818 Oh, didn’t I menton this in my profile. 1.4071 0.05847 113 75 30 8
819 Sorry, I can be a real fidgeter on dates--nervous energy and all that. Hey, do you have a scimitar? 1.4065 0.06200 123 87 22 14
820 Help! I'm becoming my mother! 1.4065 0.06200 123 87 22 14
821 Wait until you see what I do in bed... 1.4065 0.06091 123 86 24 13
822 "I also teach pilates. 1.4062 0.05915 128 89 26 13
823 I'm also juggling with a student loan,rent and the increasing gender pay gap. 1.4060 0.06135 133 96 20 17
824 Just sit there and do nothing, as always. 1.4060 0.05652 133 91 30 12
825 This is what my resume meant by versatile! 1.4060 0.05233 133 87 38 8
826 3.1415926535897932384626… 1.4059 0.06627 101 70 21 10
827 And this is just the amouse bouche. 1.4059 0.06163 101 67 27 7
828 Hold your questions until the end, this is the talent portion of the date. 1.4056 0.05084 143 94 40 9
829 Just wanted to let you know all the juggling I have to do. 1.4054 0.06054 111 75 27 9
830 Physically I am well balanced; mentally, that's another matter. 1.4052 0.06120 116 80 25 11
831 I bring a lot to the table” 1.4052 0.05869 116 78 29 9
832 Tell me when you have something interesting to say. 1.4052 0.06120 116 80 25 11
833 I'm just trying to get the waiter's attention. 1.4050 0.05936 121 83 27 11
834 Some sing for their supper. Others regard that as the easy way out. 1.4043 0.05419 141 96 33 12
835 Okay…Now hand me your glass. 1.4040 0.06874 99 70 18 11
836 Help me out. Grab one. 1.4037 0.06130 109 74 26 9
837 Sad it takes this much just to get you to look away from your phone and listen to my story for five minutes. 1.4037 0.06912 109 80 14 15
838 Things are really up in the air for me these days. 1.4037 0.06401 109 76 22 11
839 If you hire me, I'm pretty sure I can manage your appointment calendar. 1.4035 0.05807 114 76 30 8
840 Can we go to your place? Mine burnt down. 1.4035 0.06195 114 79 24 11
841 You get to see what I do during the day now that you're working from home. 1.4034 0.05885 119 81 28 10
842 Yea...I was a front line worker, but this seemed A LOT safer! 1.4032 0.05600 124 83 32 9
843 On a first date, I think it’s best to lay it all on the table, don’t you? 1.4032 0.05482 124 82 34 8
844 Not as dangerous as your job! Tell me more about forensic accounting. 1.4031 0.05773 129 89 28 12
845 Don’t worry I’ll pick up the kids after work and cook dinner too 1.4028 0.05603 144 101 28 15
846 When my steak comes, just toss it up to me and then grab the bowling ball. 1.4019 0.06065 107 72 27 8
847 I try to stay busy. 1.4018 0.06400 112 79 21 12
848 My last relationship ended badly. 1.4015 0.05527 137 94 31 12
849 Jump in anytime. 1.4014 0.05294 142 96 35 11
850 I also cook 😊 1.4012 0.04912 162 109 41 12
851 What am I looking for in a relationship? Security, I guess. 1.4000 0.05947 110 74 28 8
852 I get it. Work,marriage,kids. 1.4000 0.05682 135 94 28 13
853 So you’re in accounting…how interesting. 1.4000 0.05792 125 86 28 11
854 So, how did you spend your down time during COVID? 1.4000 0.06085 110 75 26 9
855 Well it's easier than talking about politics. 1.4000 0.06117 125 89 22 14
856 And for my next trick I’ll seamlessly work from home while ensuring our three kids get to camp on time, the dog gets walked, and the laundry gets folded. 1.3986 0.05265 143 97 35 11
857 Best blind date ever! Am I right? 1.3985 0.05540 133 91 31 11
858 A little bit about myself? Well, I'm a mom... 1.3985 0.06032 133 96 21 16
859 So, what did you do with your time during the lockdown? 1.3984 0.05625 123 83 31 9
860 It keeps my mind off my job. 1.3984 0.05505 123 82 33 8
861 Sorry, Mark, but I just don't have time for a relationship right now. 1.3983 0.05790 118 80 29 9
862 For my next trick, I'll balance my love of food with society's expectations of how women should eat on dates. 1.3981 0.06162 108 74 25 9
863 Now if you will just toss me your chair. 1.3971 0.05350 136 92 34 10
864 Am I trying too hard? 1.3966 0.05459 116 76 34 6
865 The last guy I dated said he thought I was unbalanced. 1.3966 0.05727 116 78 30 8
866 I’m Sally; I’ll be your food server today!” 1.3966 0.06107 116 81 24 11
867 I just couldn't help myself when you asked, "What do you do?" 1.3966 0.05983 116 80 26 10
868 What? I’m vaccinated. 1.3966 0.05595 116 77 32 7
869 Everything is on the table, Bob 1.3966 0.05727 116 78 30 8
870 Women are expected to, actually. 1.3964 0.06306 111 78 22 11
871 This is not what I mean when we talked about spicing things up. 1.3964 0.05320 111 71 36 4
872 Mom said I should play hard to get 1.3960 0.06306 101 69 24 8
873 Darn, the waiter still won't look our way. 1.3958 0.05594 144 102 27 15
874 Well, Harold, my profile did say I'm not good at small talk. 1.3952 0.05349 124 82 35 7
875 Training? I used to teach kindergarten. 1.3950 0.05497 119 79 33 7
876 It always happens, as soon as I start to juggle, they serve dinner. 1.3950 0.05625 119 80 31 8
877 Now that you’ve finally looked up from your phone can we talk about us? 1.3950 0.06451 119 87 17 15
878 Quick, throw me that glass! 1.3939 0.05351 132 89 34 9
879 Now, do you think my multitasking skills are good enough to run your house, raise your kids and hold down a full time job? 1.3938 0.05327 160 114 29 17
880 You make a big deal about balancing the check book." 1.3932 0.05557 117 78 32 7
881 The pasta is great but it's almost impossible to get the waiter's attention. 1.3932 0.05942 117 81 26 10
882 No, I won't do it topless! 1.3932 0.06303 117 84 20 13
883 My life balance coach said she had no more to teach me. 1.3926 0.05371 135 92 33 10
884 Toss me your glass! 1.3922 0.06559 102 72 20 10
885 Our principal said that if we mastered this over the summer we’d be ready to start the new school year when the students arrive. 1.3922 0.06559 102 72 20 10
886 I should mention at this point that my late husband used to make fun of my passion as well. 1.3917 0.05952 120 84 25 11
887 All moms are good at multi-tasking, like you dads do when you sleep and fart at the same time. 1.3917 0.05833 120 83 27 10
888 It's from a class I took, for working moms. 1.3917 0.05588 120 81 31 8
889 Clown college really paid off 1.3917 0.05712 120 82 29 9
890 If you have to drop one, make it the ball please! 1.3913 0.05884 115 79 27 9
891 Of course I don’t mind getting your shirts from the cleaner after I get the groceries and take the kids to soccer. It’s only 10 miles out of the way, and you need time to recover after you took out the garbage . 1.3913 0.06905 92 65 18 9
892 I typically save this trick for the 2nd date. But since you asked... 1.3909 0.06207 110 77 23 10
893 Okay, now pass up that water. 1.3906 0.05572 128 88 30 10
894 Of course l can get you a refill. Please don’t bother getting up. 1.3905 0.06419 105 74 21 10
895 Did you read my whole Tinder profile? 1.3900 0.06801 100 72 17 11
896 The bowling ball's the problem. I keep missing the finger-holes. Don't lean forward! 1.3898 0.05387 118 78 34 6
897 I’m your new waitress, your first one just left in the ambulance. 1.3898 0.06022 118 83 24 11
898 Sorry, Dan, I'm just not ready to risk a relationship right now. 1.3898 0.05901 118 82 26 10
899 Okay, open your eyes now! 1.3895 0.06574 95 66 21 8
900 Now I have your attention I wanted to let you know that we have been trying to contact you about your car’s extended warranty…. 1.3895 0.06401 95 65 23 7
901 When I suggested dinner and a show… 1.3894 0.05397 113 74 34 5
902 I love when guys answer, "What's you're idea of a perfect first date?" with, "Surprise me." 1.3894 0.06214 113 80 22 11
903 Ok,now toss me that olive. 1.3894 0.06463 113 82 18 13
904 Nice, but can you do it backwards and in high heels? 1.3889 0.06815 108 80 14 14
905 For my next trick, I’ll broker a bipartisan immigration reform package. 1.3889 0.05859 108 73 28 7
906 Honey, we do NOT have a boring marriage. 1.3889 0.05709 108 72 30 6
907 I also enjoy long walks in the park and reading 1.3889 0.05852 126 89 25 12
908 Still easier than living through 2020, Gene. 1.3883 0.06506 103 73 20 10
909 If I can juggle these on our first date, I'll have no problems with 3 kids, home school, cooking, charity work, and bedroom antics. 1.3881 0.05696 134 95 26 13
910 Thought bubble above guy: “I shoulda swiped left” 1.3881 0.05696 134 95 26 13
911 In other words, will you marry me? 1.3879 0.06216 116 83 21 12
912 I'd like a refill, honey. Can you get the waiter's attention? 1.3879 0.06094 116 82 23 11
913 And what would you be bringing to the table? 1.3879 0.06335 116 84 19 13
914 So you can just jump in as soon as you’re ready 1.3879 0.05580 116 78 31 7
915 It's nice to finally relax. 1.3874 0.05748 111 75 29 7
916 On the count of three, hand me the glass. 1.3874 0.05889 111 76 27 8
917 I'm new at this, so bear with me.. 1.3874 0.05604 111 74 31 6
918 Can you grab my phone and take a photo? 1.3871 0.05576 124 85 30 9
919 I didn't get the vaccination because I just don't think it's safe. 1.3869 0.05698 137 98 25 14
920 I used to do this from home.” 1.3868 0.05930 106 72 27 7
921 Now do you understand the consequences of dropping the ball, Doug? 1.3868 0.06080 106 73 25 8
922 I often include a weedwacker,but there are supply chain issues. 1.3866 0.05737 119 82 28 9
923 juggling partners can be difficult .. but juggling partners are the worst .. 1.3866 0.05860 119 83 26 10
924 I figured after raising three kids and working full-time, I needed to try something less demanding! 1.3864 0.05756 132 94 25 13
925 Joe immediately regrets allowing his sister to fill out his online dating profile. 1.3861 0.06129 101 69 25 7
926 OK . I've put the phone away now. 1.3861 0.06129 101 69 25 7
927 No, I just spilled some red paint on the chainsaw. 1.3861 0.06288 101 70 23 8
928 Meg always tries too hard on the first date 1.3861 0.06129 101 69 25 7
929 The audition did say "Balancing Act!" 1.3854 0.05806 96 63 29 4
930 I'm trying too hard, aren't I? 1.3853 0.05516 109 72 32 5
931 It started as a way to get my dates to look up. 1.3853 0.06373 109 78 20 11
932 Want to see what else I learned while I was working from home? 1.3853 0.06101 109 76 24 9
933 This got me fired at Benihana. 1.3852 0.06098 122 88 21 13
934 This is nothing. Try raising three kids on your own. 1.3852 0.05562 135 95 28 12
935 It was hard finding work after graduate school. 1.3846 0.06004 104 71 26 7
936 My ex accused me of being attention seeking, but I don't see it. 1.3846 0.06004 104 71 26 7
937 Since lockdown started, why do you ask? 1.3846 0.05674 117 80 29 8
938 And what’s your plan for our second date? 1.3846 0.06004 104 71 26 7
939 There’s no catch. 1.3846 0.06597 104 75 18 11
940 What else is in your purse? 1.3846 0.06172 117 84 21 12
941 It's not a metaphor, Henry -- it's my life. 1.3839 0.05982 112 78 25 9
942 Toss me the glass, why not? 1.3839 0.06373 112 81 19 12
943 It’s performance art, dear. I call it “Working Mom.” 1.3835 0.05620 133 94 27 12
944 Compared to my other gig as a working mom this is nothing 1.3833 0.06056 120 86 22 12
945 And, at the end I sing "Getting to Know You," and OOPS! 1.3832 0.06034 107 74 25 8
946 See, I told you it will be very easy for me to juggle my professional and personal life whenever we do get married and have kids! 1.3832 0.05578 107 71 31 5
947 Feel free to throw in a wedding ring at any time 1.3830 0.06436 94 65 22 7
948 You don't have to impress me. You had me at "Hello". 1.3826 0.05738 115 79 28 8
949 Circus speed dating 1.3826 0.05738 115 79 28 8
950 See, I am good at multi-tasking! 1.3826 0.05738 115 79 28 8
951 It's a conversation starter, but some first dates are put off by this. 1.3824 0.05919 102 69 27 6
952 What makes you think I can't juggle work and home life? 1.3824 0.05429 136 95 30 11
953 I was really interested in you when I read you like women who can juggle many different things. 1.3824 0.06542 102 73 19 10
954 After a day of zoom-office while watching the kids, I do find this relaxing. 1.3821 0.05356 123 83 33 7
955 I got tired of bending over backwards. Had to switch it up. 1.3820 0.06874 89 63 18 8
956 I find this easier than first date chit chat. 1.3818 0.05477 110 73 32 5
957 Imagine me in bed! 1.3814 0.06294 97 67 23 7
958 For some reason, though, I find it challenging to walk and chew gum at the same time. 1.3814 0.06462 97 68 21 8
959 I can’t stand people who crave attention, ya know? 1.3814 0.05635 118 81 29 8
960 Enough with the visual metaphores. I get it, being a working single mother is hard. 1.3810 0.06110 105 73 24 8
961 Sure, Honey, you just sit there. I'd be happy to get you a beer. 1.3802 0.05537 121 83 30 8
962 Kevin, I think I need some space 1.3802 0.05660 121 84 28 9
963 Tell me about yourself. 1.3800 0.06321 100 70 22 8
964 Am I vaccinated? Do I look like someone who worries about risk? 1.3800 0.05993 100 68 26 6
965 Is the waiter finally coming over with the menus 1.3800 0.06479 100 71 20 9
966 On my speed dates, I like to do a quick IQ test. In this set of objects, which one does not belong? 1.3800 0.06321 100 70 22 8
967 «Hey, don’t move and I’ll give you haircut too!» 1.3800 0.06159 100 69 24 7
968 This could be dangerous -- would you please put on a mask? 1.3796 0.06131 108 76 23 9
969 Gotta do something to get that waiter's attention! 1.3793 0.06589 87 60 21 6
970 The torch represents my job, the bowling ball is my parents, and the chainsaw is the asshole I'm sort-of-seeing-but-trying-to-leave who I'm hoping you'll replace. 1.3793 0.05828 116 81 26 9
971 COVID19 vaccine? No way. Too risky. 1.3793 0.05828 116 81 26 9
972 What were you expecting me to bring to the table? 1.3793 0.05828 116 81 26 9
973 Nice, but is dinner ready? 1.3790 0.06015 124 90 21 13
974 French student Fred thought he'd asked for the soup. 1.3790 0.05905 124 89 23 12
975 Susan often thought back fondly on that final moment of her entertainment career, when she impromptu chose to include audience participation, suddenly barking out, “CATCH!” 1.3789 0.06723 95 68 18 9
976 Your profile said you like a woman with pizzazz. 1.3789 0.06723 95 68 18 9
977 I just really used quarantine to focus on myself, you know, work on new hobbies 1.3788 0.05434 132 92 30 10
978 I know my profile mentioned the machete but it was taken by the police as evidence after my last date. 1.3786 0.06188 103 72 23 8
979 The most dangerous part is actually that I'm unvaccinated. 1.3776 0.06570 98 70 19 9
980 When I say, "Now", you catch one. 1.3776 0.06408 98 69 21 8
981 Could you move your glass? I'm a little clumsy. 1.3774 0.05758 106 72 28 6
982 How long does your cycle usually last? 1.3772 0.06026 114 81 23 10
983 I'm done with jumping through hoops to please you. 1.3770 0.05858 122 87 24 11
984 Well, you wanted dinner and a show... 1.3763 0.06823 93 67 17 9
985 Of course I have children 1.3763 0.06471 93 65 21 7
986 Wow, you weren’t lying on your tinder profile. This is some first date. 1.3763 0.06649 93 66 19 8
987 Not to worry... I'm fully vaccinated 1.3761 0.05498 109 73 31 5
988 The real trick is not sneezing because of your cologne. 1.3761 0.06222 109 78 21 10
989 So, as you can see, it really is possible to do more than one thing at a time” 1.3761 0.06084 109 77 23 9
990 I like you. I’m just busy. 1.3761 0.06157 117 85 20 12
991 Could you tell this is the first time I have done this this with the chain saw running? 1.3761 0.05787 117 82 26 9
992 Would you like to hear tonight’s specials? 1.3761 0.05913 117 83 24 10
993 And I do my own taxes! 1.3761 0.05658 117 81 28 8
994 When your profile said you throw caution to the wind I thought you meant you weren’t vaccinated… 1.3761 0.05913 117 83 24 10
995 I tried this with a boss and two kids, bless their souls. 1.3760 0.05755 125 89 25 11
996 So , tell me about yourself Bob.” 1.3750 0.06290 104 74 21 9
997 I'm training to be a working mom. 1.3750 0.05830 112 78 26 8
998 No, really, tell me more about you. 1.3750 0.05830 112 78 26 8
999 So then, you’re not “just” an accountant. 1.3750 0.06290 104 74 21 9
1000 Of course, I also love travel and long walks on the beach. How about you? 1.3750 0.05656 128 91 26 11
1001 I was told it would be a floor show. 1.3750 0.05547 112 76 30 6
1002 It's so rare to meet someone who looks just like their picture! 1.3750 0.05966 112 79 24 9
1003 -Now for the talent portion of a first date. 1.3750 0.06099 112 80 22 10
1004 I’m going to guess this is your first date since the pandemic started...? 1.3750 0.05301 120 81 33 6
1005 It's no use. We'll never get that waiter's attention. 1.3740 0.05870 131 96 21 14
1006 In conclusion, that's why I'm not really looking for a relationship right now 1.3740 0.06043 123 90 20 13
1007 No, I can do small talk. It’s just not my go-to. 1.3739 0.05722 115 80 27 8
1008 As a woman, you learn how to juggle a lot of things all at once. 1.3739 0.05449 115 78 31 6
1009 Juggling a career and motherhood is much harder. 1.3737 0.06514 99 71 19 9
1010 After a year of virtual school and working from home, I was ready for a new challenge. 1.3737 0.06190 99 69 23 7
1011 So what was your quarantine hobby? 1.3737 0.06514 99 71 19 9
1012 I promised myself I wouldn't do this again on a first date. 1.3737 0.05847 99 67 27 5
1013 Now I understand why guys are finding you intimidating... 1.3737 0.06514 99 71 19 9
1014 So what do you for a living? 1.3736 0.06182 91 62 24 5
1015 Can your mother do this? 1.3729 0.05871 118 84 24 10
1016 And you think I can't juggle the demands of marriage, children, and a full time job? 1.3727 0.06038 110 78 23 9
1017 I know it is our1st date - I just want to be upfront about what I did. 1.3727 0.05899 110 77 25 8
1018 Do you think the ponytail is too much? 1.3727 0.05899 110 77 25 8
1019 I know you're busy and all, but would it kill you to smile more? 1.3727 0.05756 110 76 27 7
1020 It's my light-hearted way to say I want a divorce. 1.3723 0.06929 94 69 15 10
1021 Actually I prefer a lazy Susan for the table. 1.3723 0.05855 94 63 27 4
1022 Is this more entertaining than your cellphone? 1.3723 0.06233 94 65 23 6
1023 So, did you learn anything new during Covid lock-down? 1.3721 0.06416 86 59 22 5
1024 I know what you’re thinking, “why the bowling ball?” 1.3719 0.05645 121 85 27 9
1025 I didn't want to be a typical first date. 1.3717 0.05362 113 76 32 5
1026 No, really. Toss me your glass. 1.3711 0.06099 97 67 24 6
1027 I told you I’m not like other girls 1.3711 0.06442 97 69 20 8
1028 It was a better act before my badger died. 1.3707 0.05939 116 83 23 10
1029 And how was your day, honey? 1.3707 0.05548 116 80 29 7
1030 People say I’m a lot to handle. 1.3704 0.05970 108 76 24 8
1031 I love that we don't have to talk. 1.3704 0.05970 108 76 24 8
1032 Oh, and by the way, I was a finalist on Jeopardy! 1.3697 0.05581 119 83 28 8
1033 I can also juggle a career and a family. 1.3697 0.05451 119 82 30 7
1034 But enough about me. I hear you're into chess. That's cool. 1.3696 0.06320 92 64 22 6
1035 You're not worried about the variants now, are you? 1.3694 0.05855 111 78 25 8
1036 Sharon, we’re inside. Masks are required. 1.3694 0.05993 111 79 23 9
1037 I like quiet evenings, long walks on the beach, and chainsaw juggling. 1.3689 0.05852 103 71 26 6
1038 Do you think this will get the waiter's attention or should I call in the elephants? 1.3689 0.05607 122 86 27 9
1039 Actually, this isn't even the most astonishing thing on the City's list of business reopening requirements. 1.3684 0.05879 114 81 24 9
1040 I had no problem distancing. 1.3684 0.06359 95 67 21 7
1041 I'd love to, but I have a lot going on right now. 1.3684 0.06532 95 68 19 8
1042 So you really meant that your Ex was a clown huh? 1.3684 0.05177 114 76 34 4
1043 You should see what I do with your balls! 1.3679 0.06334 106 77 19 10
1044 Working from home has given me some free time. 1.3679 0.05738 106 73 27 6
1045 I just couldn’t stand not having a good answers to “what are your hobbies?” 1.3679 0.06043 106 75 23 8
1046 They bring me in when the Wi-Fi is down. 1.3679 0.06190 106 76 21 9
1047 It's easier than juggling a career and kids. 1.3679 0.06334 106 77 19 10
1048 Is this too over the top for our first date? 1.3675 0.05771 117 83 25 9
1049 When it said on your profile that you could juggle a lot of things at once I assumed it meant normal life things not actual things. 1.3675 0.05771 117 83 25 9
1050 my profile SAID I was well balanced ! 1.3673 0.06220 98 69 22 7
1051 I’m Mandy, your server. My boss says COVID is a hoax. Welcome to Florida, you maskless asshole. 1.3673 0.06708 98 72 16 10
1052 ♫..and ♪ the home ♪ of the - brave. ♫ 1.3673 0.06549 98 71 18 9
1053 You think this is dangerous? Try running an online meeting with a toddler in your lap. 1.3670 0.05478 109 74 30 5
1054 I can juggle your bullshit too 1.3670 0.06066 109 78 22 9
1055 Did I mention that I can’t cook? 1.3667 0.05542 120 84 28 8
1056 This so totally gets my mind off climate change. 1.3667 0.06409 90 63 21 6
1057 I'd say modesty is my biggest flaw. 1.3667 0.06787 90 65 17 8
1058 And what did you learn during the pandemic shutdown? 1.3664 0.05220 131 91 32 8
1059 Did I forget to mention I’m a single mom? 1.3663 0.06089 101 71 23 7
1060 So, you want to know what it’s like to have a baby, a full-time job, and a husband who does nothing, all while having an affair with the Amazon guy? Here, let me show you. 1.3663 0.06559 101 74 17 10
1061 Oh,thanks for your concern about my safety. I’ve been vaccinated. 1.3663 0.06089 101 71 23 7
1062 Not another risky juggling unicycler," thought Dan, as he carefully changed his Tinder profile under the table 1.3659 0.06834 82 58 18 6
1063 It's not you. I'm just juggling a lot right now. 1.3656 0.06970 93 69 14 10
1064 Don't worry about the tire marks on the tablecloth. 1.3656 0.06264 93 65 22 6
1065 This, Charles, is how I know I'm ready to be a mother. 1.3654 0.06561 104 77 16 11
1066 This is how I wind down after a hard day at the CDC. 1.3654 0.06120 104 74 22 8
1067 Here are our specials for the day. A torch if you like something hot. A bowling ball for something heavy and smooth. And a chain saw if you need the roughage. 1.3654 0.06120 104 74 22 8
1068 Why couldn’t you just bake sourdough bread like everyone else. 1.3654 0.05806 104 72 26 6
1069 Other than this, I don't multi-task anymore. 1.3652 0.05704 115 81 26 8
1070 And I can cook and sew and run a Fortune 500 company. 1.3647 0.06663 85 60 19 6
1071 Since you've asked, THIS is the definition of 'Stay-at-Home Mom"! 1.3646 0.07120 96 73 11 12
1072 This is why I can't go back to the office. 1.3646 0.06127 96 67 23 6
1073 Just ask them for a very, very long straw. 1.3646 0.06642 96 70 17 9
1074 Now can you pay for the check? 1.3646 0.06304 96 68 21 7
1075 I bet you could use another drink. 1.3646 0.07120 96 73 11 12
1076 I forgot our anniversary, didn't I 1.3646 0.06127 96 67 23 6
1077 It breaks the ice a little, don’t you think? 1.3645 0.05376 107 72 31 4
1078 It’s no different than juggling my job, the kids and you. Guess which one is you? 1.3645 0.06423 107 79 17 11
1079 Keep talking, honey. I'm listening. 1.3645 0.06142 107 77 21 9
1080 The help-wanted ad said “Must be capable of juggling many items at the same time.” 1.3645 0.06284 107 78 19 10
1081 So, you’re telling me you didn’t make dinner? 1.3644 0.05602 118 83 27 8
1082 Now just imagine what I could do in the bedroom 1.3643 0.05496 129 92 27 10
1083 Hello, my name is Cathy and I'll be your server this evening. 1.3636 0.05998 99 69 24 6
1084 You're the one who said "our dinners are boring" 1.3636 0.05629 121 86 26 9
1085 But yeah, your pandemic hobby sounds interesting too. Sourdough, right? 1.3636 0.06494 99 72 18 9
1086 Shouldn't you be wearing a mask? 1.3636 0.05736 110 77 26 7
1087 Can you pick up the kids? 1.3636 0.06157 110 80 20 10
1088 My friends told me I had to make a good first impression. 1.3636 0.05282 110 74 32 4
1089 Well I did say in my dating profile I was great at multitasking. 1.3636 0.05880 110 78 24 8
1090 So Jeremy, tell me more about yourself 1.3627 0.06504 102 75 17 10
1091 Same old, same old. What about you? 1.3627 0.06504 102 75 17 10
1092 Speed dating is a great way to meet people, don’t you think? 1.3627 0.06353 102 74 19 9
1093 Most men I date find me threatening. You? 1.3627 0.05877 102 71 25 6
1094 It’s not personal. I just don’t think I can throw a boyfriend into the mix, too. 1.3627 0.05709 102 70 27 5
1095 Maybe this will get the waiter's attention. 1.3626 0.06156 91 63 23 5
1096 I’ll feel less driven to impress on the second date. 1.3626 0.05954 91 62 25 4
1097 It's never enough, is it? 1.3626 0.07078 91 68 13 10
1098 I'm trying to strike a work-life balance here, Ted. 1.3619 0.05600 105 72 28 5
1099 Have I ever told you I can't cook? 1.3619 0.05918 105 74 24 7
1100 This isn’t going to work. Things are just up in the air for me right now. 1.3619 0.05761 105 73 26 6
1101 It just developed naturally after years as a gig worker 1.3617 0.05829 94 64 26 4
1102 Your choice - do you want to be matched, balled, or cut in two? 1.3617 0.06567 94 68 18 8
1103 He realised then how desperately dull she really was. 1.3614 0.06545 83 58 20 5
1104 I got my start tossing salads. 1.3613 0.05690 119 85 25 9
1105 And what do you do for a living? 1.3611 0.06094 108 78 21 9
1106 What do I have to do to get a waiter to come over? 1.3611 0.06094 108 78 21 9
1107 I'm a single mom with two kids. Tell me about yourself. 1.3608 0.06419 97 70 19 8
1108 I don’t know what more I can do to impress you 1.3608 0.06075 97 68 23 6
1109 If you don’t have room for this relationship, Sylvia, just come out and say it” 1.3608 0.06075 97 68 23 6
1110 I brought home the bacon, fried it up in a pan…. and then I just kept going. 1.3605 0.07001 86 63 15 8
1111 I'm still not sure my mom will be impressed 1.3604 0.05694 111 78 26 7
1112 I'll juggle the kids, job and social life, if you can walk the mortgage, taxes and health insurance tightrope. 1.3600 0.06117 100 71 22 7
1113 Nobody said speed dating was gonna be pleasant. This is who I am. Now tell me about yourself. 1.3600 0.05949 100 70 24 6
1114 I ordered a sidecar, not a sideshow. 1.3600 0.06439 100 73 18 9
1115 It’s called motherhood, Jeremy, and it doesn’t stop because it’s date night. 1.3596 0.05727 114 81 25 8
1116 ....And what did YOU work on during quarantine? 1.3596 0.06441 89 63 20 6
1117 You kept complaining that our dinners were getting boring so I decided to add a bit more spice. 1.3592 0.05991 103 73 23 7
1118 Did the waiter notice us yet? 1.3592 0.05664 103 71 27 5
1119 Yes, once. 1.3590 0.06573 78 54 20 4
1120 I hate it when this doesn't work. 1.3590 0.05880 117 85 22 10
1121 Sorry, I just can’t fit you into my life right now. 1.3587 0.06294 92 65 21 6
1122 No thank, no more wine for the lady 1.3587 0.06481 92 66 19 7
1123 I know. I know. But would you have come if I listed it on my dating app? 1.3585 0.06170 106 77 20 9
1124 this is nothing, i'm still figuring out wife,mother,worker 1.3585 0.06170 106 77 20 9
1125 Dating isn’t what it used to be 1.3583 0.05397 120 84 29 7
1126 Okay, okay, I put my phone down. 1.3579 0.06679 95 70 16 9
1127 Yes, I did change my hair color. 1.3579 0.06155 95 67 22 6
1128 And I can pick up the check. 1.3578 0.05759 109 77 25 7
1129 I cannot believe you are still single! 1.3571 0.06197 98 70 21 7
1130 And yet, I still find time for a career. 1.3571 0.05652 112 79 26 7
1131 Yep, you should never date the talent. 1.3571 0.05930 112 81 22 9
1132 Alright, fine... I'll pay. 1.3571 0.06256 84 58 22 4
1133 I know it’s only our first date…just to be clear…what you see is what you get. 1.3571 0.06024 98 69 23 6
1134 This is what I’ve been doing recently to calm down after reading the news 1.3571 0.06364 98 71 19 8
1135 ‘I’m just not sure if I’m doing ENOUGH, you know?’ 1.3571 0.05508 112 78 28 6
1136 See? What I said on the dating app is true. 1.3566 0.05697 129 95 22 12
1137 Which one is the best metaphor for the future of our relationship? 1.3565 0.06199 115 86 17 12
1138 Work and family should be easy-peasy. 1.3565 0.05268 115 79 31 5
1139 I used to work from home, but I needed a less stressful gig. 1.3564 0.06227 101 73 20 8
1140 What do you mean you can’t pick the kids up from soccer? 1.3563 0.06737 87 63 17 7
1141 I'm new at this but don't worry, there's only a one in three chance you'll be circumcised. 1.3563 0.07308 87 66 11 10
1142 Impressive. Now do it wearing a mask. 1.3559 0.05712 118 85 24 9
1143 …And what did you do during your Covid quarantine? 1.3558 0.05784 104 73 25 6
1144 Right now, I'm just a stay-at-home mom... 1.3558 0.06098 104 75 21 8
1145 And! I already have something exhausting in mind for the gender reveal party. 1.3558 0.05784 104 73 25 6
1146 I bet I pass that sobriety test this time. 1.3556 0.06574 90 65 18 7
1147 OK, waiter - send in the clowns. 1.3556 0.05708 135 101 20 14
1148 What does it take to get service around here? 1.3556 0.06574 90 65 18 7
1149 Yeah, occasionally I drop one. Maybe you should move back a bit. 1.3556 0.06183 90 63 22 5
1150 When the check comes, there should be some cash behind your ear. 1.3553 0.08523 76 61 3 12
1151 Does it really matter to you that I can’t walk and chew gum at the same time? 1.3551 0.05976 107 77 22 8
1152 Mansplain this! 1.3548 0.06777 93 69 15 9
1153 The shutdown gave me time to develop new interests--you? 1.3548 0.06238 93 66 21 6
1154 So tell me a little bit about yourself. 1.3548 0.05648 93 63 27 3
1155 Is he bringing the menus now? 1.3548 0.05515 124 89 26 9
1156 I also do taxes 1.3545 0.05860 110 79 23 8
1157 Just imagine how well I'll be able to manage a C-level job, three kids, and your mother. 1.3542 0.06451 96 70 18 8
1158 At the worst possible moment, Kathy's concentration began to lapse as she shifted her focus from the chainsaw to the unmistakable beginnings of a bald spot on her date's head. 1.3537 0.07021 82 60 15 7
1159 No worries, I’m vaccinated! 1.3537 0.07021 82 60 15 7
1160 You said to get the waiter's attention. 1.3535 0.05432 99 67 29 3
1161 If I drop the chainsaw, it's half off. 1.3535 0.06144 99 71 21 7
1162 I’m sorry, Ted. A relationship right now is just one too many things for me to juggle. 1.3535 0.06782 99 75 13 11
1163 You see, if I were a man, the server would be here now. 1.3535 0.05799 99 69 25 5
1164 No, I can’t cook. 1.3535 0.05799 99 69 25 5
1165 Well, Bob, I think I'm ready for a baby 1.3535 0.05974 99 70 23 6
1166 I'd submit a caption, but it would be mansplaining. 1.3529 0.05796 119 87 22 10
1167 . . .and I also like watching old movies and taking long walks on the beach 1.3529 0.06176 102 74 20 8
1168 Full disclosure, casual dating has never been one of my strong suits. 1.3529 0.06633 85 61 18 6
1169 This should get us a free appetizer. 1.3529 0.06196 85 59 22 4
1170 Of course, I want to hear your story about Deborah at work. 1.3529 0.07042 85 63 14 8
1171 I'll take some bread .. but hold the circus. 1.3529 0.05512 102 70 28 4
1172 Now catch 1.3529 0.05853 102 72 24 6
1173 You can throw in two kids max. 1.3529 0.05853 102 72 24 6
1174 I’m petrified of small talk. 1.3529 0.05966 85 58 24 3
1175 and that is how I survived being a working mom with remote school for my children at home 1.3529 0.07042 85 63 14 8
1176 You can just say you don’t want to talk about your family. 1.3524 0.06488 105 79 15 11
1177 Before Covid I could only juggle boyfriends. 1.3519 0.06215 108 80 18 10
1178 Oh yes, Dan, please tell me more about your unbelievably wild day at the office. 1.3519 0.05630 108 76 26 6
1179 Think this is risky? Try the Bouillabaisse. 1.3519 0.05782 108 77 24 7
1180 I love this place! I can always ask for a stack of dinner plates here! 1.3516 0.06323 91 65 20 6
1181 Duck. 1.3514 0.07310 74 54 14 6
1182 I know, but it's way easier than juggling boyfriends. 1.3514 0.05955 111 81 21 9
1183 No, sir. 'The Flaming Juggler' you ordered is not the name of a cocktail." 1.3511 0.06183 94 67 21 6
1184 I've had it up to here jumpin' through hoops. 1.3511 0.05600 94 64 27 3
1185 I am SO glad to be having normal human interactions again! 1.3511 0.06183 94 67 21 6
1186 If the pay gap gets any wider, I'll have to start doing it backwards. 1.3511 0.06715 94 70 15 9
1187 I can stop any time I want. 1.3511 0.06183 94 67 21 6
1188 Since lockdown, I've really learned not to care what anyone else thinks of me. 1.3505 0.06050 97 69 22 6
1189 I'm a single, mother, businesswoman. You asked what I do all day. 1.3505 0.06050 97 69 22 6
1190 … and I can cook too 1.3505 0.05870 97 68 24 5
1191 The real risk is no mask. 1.3505 0.06561 97 72 16 9
1192 It's really unsafe to be doing that indoors without a mask on. 1.3505 0.06225 97 70 20 7
1193 I just asked if you could balance a checkbook. 1.3505 0.06722 97 73 14 10
1194 The specials are to die for. 1.3500 0.05925 100 71 23 6
1195 Am I smiling enough for you now, Tad? 1.3500 0.06913 80 58 16 6
1196 When they said women had to work twice as hard to get half as far,I had no idea this is what they meant. 1.3500 0.06913 80 58 16 6
1197 It was either this or get vaccinated to eat here. 1.3500 0.05507 120 86 26 8
1198 Of course, a potential partner would have to share my interests." 1.3500 0.05378 120 85 28 7
1199 Ok, now let's move along to the swimsuit competition part of the date! 1.3500 0.06913 80 58 16 6
1200 Some did bread, I did this. 1.3495 0.06429 103 77 16 10
1201 I knew I should've swiped left." 1.3495 0.06429 103 77 16 10
1202 I could have sworn my agent said Big Apple Circus, not Applebees! 1.3495 0.06125 103 75 20 8
1203 Sorry about the delay, I've had to juggle a lot of tables tonight. 1.3495 0.05968 103 74 22 7
1204 Yeah, I've been able to stay busy during the pandemic, why do you ask? 1.3494 0.06045 83 57 23 3
1205 So perhaps Monsieur will order next time in English. Eh? 1.3494 0.06513 83 59 19 5
1206 Who said first dates are always weird ? 1.3491 0.05369 106 73 29 4
1207 Somehow, the silence became yet more awkward. 1.3491 0.06294 106 79 17 10
1208 OK, now I have your attention, I'm leaving you. 1.3491 0.06294 106 79 17 10
1209 While you’re up could you refill my water? 1.3491 0.05850 106 76 23 7
1210 So do you have any brothers or sisters? 1.3488 0.06568 86 62 18 6
1211 Now, tell me what you do? 1.3488 0.06568 86 62 18 6
1212 What else do you need me to do to reform the filibuster, Mr. Manchin? 1.3488 0.07166 86 65 12 9
1213 The trick is not caring. 1.3486 0.06166 109 81 18 10
1214 ...And if you pick up your iPhone at the table again, I drop one of these on you! 1.3483 0.06412 89 64 19 6
1215 No, it’s not a metaphor. 1.3483 0.06412 89 64 19 6
1216 So you're just a stay at home mom? 1.3482 0.05631 112 80 25 7
1217 The waiter’s starting to look this way. Hand me the glass. 1.3482 0.05631 112 80 25 7
1218 I hope this isn’t the lap dance I ordered. 1.3482 0.05910 112 82 21 9
1219 Trust me, compared to this, juggling a husband, a career and kids is gonna be a cinch! 1.3478 0.06072 92 65 22 5
1220 Can you imagine what I do in the bedroom? 1.3478 0.06266 92 66 20 6
1221 Now, toss me that glass and run. 1.3474 0.06308 95 69 19 7
1222 This is my first date date since 2019. How about you? 1.3474 0.05751 95 66 25 4
1223 Frankly, this is easier than finding a subject for small talk that won't end up in a political discussion. 1.3474 0.06308 95 69 19 7
1224 And you'll see that I can do similarly amazing things in the kitchen, and in the bedroom. 1.3474 0.05751 95 66 25 4
1225 'Real go-getter, with atrocious table manners.' Your Tinder bio was spot-on. 1.3474 0.05943 95 67 23 5
1226 Since you are eating inside without a mask we assumed you were good with high risk entertainment. 1.3469 0.06171 98 71 20 7
1227 My dad thinks a working single mom doesn't have time for a relationship, can you believe that? 1.3469 0.05447 98 67 28 3
1228 Wear a mask to prevent COVID? Are you crazy? That's dangerous!7 1.3467 0.07227 75 55 14 6
1229 Learned all of this during the pandemic. And you say you made a loaf of sourdough bread? 1.3465 0.06042 101 73 21 7
1230 Well, next time don’t put ‘I like to live dangerously’ on your profile. 1.3462 0.05595 104 73 26 5
1231 Wonderful! But where’s dinner? 1.3462 0.05920 104 75 22 7
1232 And, I also have to juggle meals, housework and raising our kids. 1.3462 0.06375 104 78 16 10
1233 This is nothing. . .Try juggling motherhood and the pandemic! 1.3462 0.07027 78 57 15 6
1234 I call it 'My Year of Eating Dangerously.' 1.3462 0.06227 104 77 18 9
1235 Let me hear you tell your friends one more time that I have nothing to offer. 1.3458 0.05650 107 76 25 6
1236 When I say "will work for food", I mean it. 1.3457 0.06373 81 57 20 4
1237 Your match.com profile left out the bowling ball. 1.3457 0.07062 81 60 14 7
1238 Intermittent fasting will be easy honey I swear. 1.3457 0.07062 81 60 14 7
1239 Is this a good time to tell you I’m gay? 1.3457 0.07690 81 63 8 10
1240 My profile did say “risk taker.” 1.3455 0.05694 110 79 24 7
1241 Well your Tinder profile said you enjoyed "thrill seeking"! 1.3452 0.05987 84 58 23 3
1242 Don't worry, I always turn off the chainsaw when I'm doing closeup. 1.3452 0.07084 84 63 13 8
1243 Did you order the screwdriver? 1.3452 0.06448 84 60 19 5
1244 Are you ready to catch? 1.3452 0.05987 84 58 23 3
1245 And what have you been doing during the pandemic? 1.3451 0.05865 113 83 21 9
1246 You people who engage in vices like drinking drive up healthcare costs for the rest of us. 1.3448 0.06296 87 62 20 5
1247 So what will you be bringing to the marriage? 1.3448 0.05352 116 82 28 6
1248 You're right, he's deliberately ignoring us. 1.3448 0.06080 87 61 22 4
1249 It's easy, I have three kids. Submitted by James Prickett, Bellingham, Wa 1.3444 0.06153 90 64 21 5
1250 The key is knowing which ones are rubber 1.3444 0.06546 90 66 17 7
1251 Nine out of ten times I do this they give me free dessert. 1.3441 0.05821 93 65 24 4
1252 I go through about a boyfriend a week 1.3438 0.06253 96 70 19 7
1253 This usually gets the waiter's attention. 1.3438 0.06253 96 70 19 7
1254 My ex and I used to juggle together, but he wasn't very good at catching the chainsaw. 1.3438 0.06253 96 70 19 7
1255 I'm a bit stressed. Do you mind taking care of the chain saw? 1.3431 0.05828 102 73 23 6
1256 I've already told you, Sally - it's not you, it's ME. 1.3431 0.06152 102 75 19 8
1257 Now you try it. 1.3431 0.05828 102 73 23 6
1258 And you thought juggling women was impressive 1.3431 0.05828 102 73 23 6
1259 I just don't get why they say multi-tasking is impossible to do well. 1.3429 0.05552 105 74 26 5
1260 I'm ready to get back to the office. You? 1.3429 0.05872 105 76 22 7
1261 No reason to be scared. We're in Florida. 1.3429 0.06026 105 77 20 8
1262 Can you order me an orange, a banana, and a pineapple? 1.3429 0.05714 105 75 24 6
1263 Please ask the waiter if he has anything we can use as a tourniquet. 1.3426 0.06052 108 80 19 9
1264 I finally learned something useful during the lock down 1.3421 0.05548 114 82 25 7
1265 I'm sorry you didn't understand what ambidextrous meant in Tinder. 1.3421 0.06896 76 55 16 5
1266 Now there’s a woman who can multi-task. 1.3419 0.05584 117 85 24 8
1267 I'm trying to help you understand the work-life balance. 1.3418 0.06713 79 57 17 5
1268 So, what new hobby did you learn during the pandemic? 1.3415 0.06770 82 60 16 6
1269 Marry me. I'm a great partner. I love to juggle. And I can even do this naked. 1.3412 0.06809 85 63 15 7
1270 Now, I'll take off my pants. 1.3412 0.06600 85 62 17 6
1271 And you thought I was going to be the most boring date ever... 1.3412 0.06161 85 60 21 4
1272 Need more proof that women can juggle things better than men? 1.3409 0.06236 88 63 20 5
1273 Hello? My eyes are up here! 1.3409 0.07024 88 67 12 9
1274 So this is my proof that the Constitution of the US recognized that all men were created equal: women are the exception! 1.3409 0.06642 88 65 16 7
1275 Toss me the glass now! 1.3407 0.06294 91 66 19 6
1276 You learn a lot in lockdown. 1.3407 0.06485 91 67 17 7
1277 I can also cook and clean. 1.3407 0.06096 91 65 21 5
1278 In other words, yes, I'm unemployed. 1.3407 0.06096 91 65 21 5
1279 ‘Don’t just sit there, toss me that glass.’ 1.3407 0.05893 91 64 23 4
1280 After being a working mom, pretty much everything else came naturally. 1.3407 0.06851 91 69 13 9
1281 What they say is true. Women really can do it all. 1.3404 0.06337 94 69 18 7
1282 What? Dining outdoors is perfectly safe! 1.3402 0.05654 97 68 25 4
1283 Now will you read my to do list?? 1.3402 0.05841 97 69 23 5
1284 Now on the count of three, toss your glass in the air. 1.3400 0.05724 100 71 24 5
1285 I'll be ready when this is an Olympic Sport in 2024 in Paris 1.3400 0.06391 100 75 16 9
1286 This is my go-to when the date's not going well. 1.3400 0.05545 100 70 26 4
1287 Compared to being a mom with three kids and a full-time job 32 miles away, this is easy. 1.3398 0.05781 103 74 23 6
1288 How was your day today? 1.3398 0.06101 103 76 19 8
1289 “On my profile I wrote ‘good hands, ambidextrous and love all positions’. Why?” 1.3396 0.05826 106 77 22 7
1290 So that’s how my day was. Yours? 1.3396 0.05343 106 74 28 4
1291 I guess the first date is always a little performative. 1.3394 0.05409 109 77 27 5
1292 I’ve been told I sometimes try too hard make a good impression on the first date. 1.3380 0.06933 71 51 16 4
1293 Toss me your chair willya?" 1.3375 0.07323 80 61 11 8
1294 First dates always feel like a performance. 1.3375 0.06643 80 58 17 5
1295 Sorry, I usually wait until the second date to emasculate guys with my competence. 1.3375 0.07103 80 60 13 7
1296 And I am wearing heels. 1.3375 0.05885 80 55 23 2
1297 What…no mask? 1.3373 0.06246 83 59 20 4
1298 Wow, Rhonda! What will you do on our second date? 1.3372 0.05874 86 60 23 3
1299 My name is Whoopsie and I'll be looking after you tonight. 1.3372 0.06102 86 61 21 4
1300 Toss me that glass, would ya? 1.3372 0.06741 86 64 15 7
1301 You could have just asked me to put down my phone. 1.3371 0.06578 89 66 16 7
1302 Would you use this dating app again? Be honest… 1.3371 0.06955 89 68 12 9
1303 Oh, wait…I forgot my mask. 1.3371 0.06381 89 65 18 6
1304 And you want $15.00 an hour? 1.3370 0.06236 92 67 19 6
1305 Really. You ironed your shirt. 1.3370 0.06041 92 66 21 5
1306 So you see, I just don't have time for a boyfriend. 1.3370 0.06424 92 68 17 7
1307 You asked what my day was like, so here you go. 1.3370 0.05840 92 65 23 4
1308 You wanna see how good I am with kids? Toss one in. 1.3370 0.06424 92 68 17 7
1309 I must of read the flyer wrong. I could have sworn it said, 'Dinner show, ' unicycle girl with huge jugglers performing at each table.' 1.3368 0.05720 95 67 24 4
1310 Usually customers just order food! 1.3367 0.06144 98 72 19 7
1311 So, in your dating profile you said you want to meet someone who can juggle whatever life throws at them, right? 1.3367 0.06948 98 77 9 12
1312 Can you move your glass? You always make things so difficult! 1.3365 0.06051 104 77 19 8
1313 If you want to add a baby, I suggest we drop the chain saw. 1.3365 0.05895 104 76 21 7
1314 What? Too much for a first date? 1.3364 0.05466 107 76 26 5
1315 Lisa has substantially upped her dating game during COVID. 1.3364 0.05368 110 78 27 5
1316 I see you’ve mastered work life balance. 1.3333 0.05424 108 77 26 5
1317 Isn't it obvious? I'm a single mom! 1.3333 0.06091 99 73 19 7
1318 Do I have the Covid vaccine? Are you crazy? I heard it's dangerous. 1.3333 0.05743 99 71 23 5
1319 No, I'm not vaccinated. It's too risky. 1.3333 0.06471 87 64 17 6
1320 Denise said I should do my best to impress you on our first date. What do you think so far? 1.3333 0.06704 90 68 14 8
1321 I’m juggling quite a bit right now, but I think I can fit you in my life.” 1.3333 0.06845 84 63 14 7
1322 I can also juggle several serious relationships at once. 1.3333 0.05801 102 74 22 6
1323 This is as special as it gets, buddy. 1.3333 0.06334 81 58 19 4
1324 Yes, it's a really big match... That's the part of this you have questions about? 1.3333 0.06398 96 72 16 8
1325 I got bored making sourdough bread. 1.3333 0.06845 84 63 14 7
1326 I hope this works. I can’t sing for shit. 1.3333 0.06086 81 57 21 3
1327 It’s fine! We’re both vaccinated. 1.3333 0.06632 84 62 16 6
1328 No more so than not masking! 1.3333 0.05987 93 67 21 5
1329 I had a lot of down time during Covid 1.3333 0.06261 87 63 19 5
1330 See, I'm well balanced 1.3333 0.06667 75 54 17 4
1331 Still not impressed? Ok, now toss me that glass of lighter fluid. 1.3333 0.06886 99 78 9 12
1332 Here, you can have this torch I've been carrying for you along with all your other junk. 1.3333 0.05920 99 72 21 6
1333 You don't look like you've dated any jugglers before 1.3333 0.06261 87 63 19 5
1334 So what were you saying about my unasserted, timid personality 1.3333 0.06932 75 55 15 5
1335 I thought it wise to quit lap dancing and get into something safer for the time being. 1.3333 0.06086 81 57 21 3
1336 So I’m an introvert and don’t like being the center of attention. How about you? 1.3333 0.06179 93 68 19 6
1337 I didn't want to put these skills on my Tinder profile. I thought it might scare you away. 1.3333 0.05561 99 70 25 4
1338 Now throw me your glass. 1.3333 0.06546 93 70 15 8
1339 And . . . you won't need to look at your phone the whole evening! 1.3333 0.06471 87 64 17 6
1340 Next and most dangerous, sending my children back to school. 1.3333 0.06412 84 61 18 5
1341 Stop trying so hard, I already like you 1.3333 0.06185 84 60 20 4
1342 - I do budgets. 1.3333 0.06932 75 55 15 5
1343 Congratulations, Susan. You’ve turned into your mother. 1.3333 0.06888 90 69 12 9
1344 the things i got to do to compete with a smartphone 1.3333 0.06321 90 66 18 6
1345 Why, yes I am a working parent. 1.3333 0.05966 102 75 20 7
1346 'So can I have the job?' 1.3333 0.06334 81 58 19 4
1347 Surprisingly, it wasn’t the last time Bill visited the circus strip club 1.3333 0.06732 96 74 12 10
1348 Yes, it's difficult, but it's still easier than making conversation on a first date. 1.3302 0.05482 106 76 25 5
1349 Of COURSE I’m not vaccinated. 1.3302 0.06102 106 80 17 9
1350 Alright, I get it! You’re juggling a lot right now. Can we please order? 1.3302 0.05643 106 77 23 6
1351 You’re making a great case for curbside pickup… 1.3301 0.05917 103 76 20 7
1352 Phyllis had a history of failing to make a good impression on first dates. 1.3301 0.06381 103 79 14 10
1353 I’ve found this has made dating a lot less scary. 1.3301 0.06230 103 78 16 9
1354 How about you,what are your hobbies? 1.3301 0.05917 103 76 20 7
1355 This is nothing. I'm also a single mom. 1.3300 0.06204 100 75 17 8
1356 And if you choose me, I'll bring home the bacon AND fry it up in a pan. 1.3300 0.05695 100 72 23 5
1357 You seem tense. Do you not date much? 1.3299 0.06341 97 73 16 8
1358 When I said my life is a circus, I meant that literally. 1.3299 0.05811 97 70 22 5
1359 Failure is totally an option. 1.3299 0.05811 97 70 22 5
1360 Pardon me, would you hand me that glass? 1.3298 0.06307 94 70 17 7
1361 So how was golf? 1.3298 0.06486 94 71 15 8
1362 No, I was asking if you struggle with anything. 1.3298 0.06307 94 70 17 7
1363 When I said I was interested in someone who could multi task, I meant doing the laundry and taking care of the kids 1.3297 0.05646 91 64 24 3
1364 When they said indoor dining was risky I didn’t realize this is what they meant. 1.3297 0.06261 91 67 18 6
1365 But yeah, not commuting has been nice. 1.3297 0.05646 91 64 24 3
1366 Is my EX still pretending not to notice our crazy date? 1.3295 0.06201 88 64 19 5
1367 I can hardly wait to see your icebreaker. 1.3295 0.06609 88 66 15 7
1368 You should see me in bed! 1.3295 0.06609 88 66 15 7
1369 For my next trick I will juggle my career, my social life, and our relationship while you sit on your ass and do nothing 1.3295 0.06804 88 67 13 8
1370 My therapist thought it might save our marriage if I showed you what mental load looks like. 1.3294 0.06124 85 61 20 4
1371 Things are still up on the air between us. 1.3294 0.06775 85 64 14 7
1372 For an extra 20, I'll throw in a lap dance. 1.3294 0.06124 85 61 20 4
1373 Didn’t you say “Go for the jugular!”? 1.3294 0.06775 85 64 14 7
1374 Don't worry. I have triplet toddlers at home. 1.3294 0.06348 85 62 18 5
1375 After four years of working in the West Wing, this is EASY! 1.3294 0.06775 85 64 14 7
1376 Well, you asked me what life with kids in a pandemic has been like. 1.3294 0.06565 85 63 16 6
1377 Honey, of course I’m making room for you in my life.” 1.3294 0.06124 85 61 20 4
1378 So what quarantine hobbies did you pick up? 1.3293 0.06270 82 59 19 4
1379 My doctor thinks I'm overcompensating, but I don't see it. 1.3293 0.05770 82 57 23 2
1380 How much do you weigh? 1.3293 0.06733 82 61 15 6
1381 You said you wanted some action. 1.3293 0.06505 82 60 17 5
1382 It's not that I don't want to see you again--things are just a little up in the air for me right now. 1.3293 0.06733 82 61 15 6
1383 Dinner theater isn't what it used to be. 1.3293 0.06505 82 60 17 5
1384 I'm not one for small talk. 1.3291 0.06426 79 57 18 4
1385 Will you marry me now? 1.3291 0.06674 79 58 16 5
1386 If they see you first, catch their eye! 1.3291 0.07143 79 60 12 7
1387 I chose not to get vaccinated; I think it’s too risky. 1.3291 0.06912 79 59 14 6
1388 Now I say, "Fine, how was your day?" 1.3289 0.06854 76 56 15 5
1389 Okay, now that I have your attention. 1.3289 0.05739 76 52 23 1
1390 I work from home with my two cats now. It's been pretty chill. How about you? 1.3289 0.06037 76 53 21 2
1391 Tuesday I do brain surgery and Wednesday I sing at the Met. 1.3288 0.07313 73 55 12 6
1392 ... and I am working on chewing gum at the same time. 1.3286 0.07538 70 53 11 6
1393 I just realized how much I missed seeing the Rockettes last year! 1.3286 0.07538 70 53 11 6
1394 You're probably right - it's more dangerous for you" 1.3282 0.05018 131 95 29 7
1395 So....what are your hobbies? 1.3280 0.05421 125 93 23 9
1396 See, much easier without a mask. 1.3274 0.05684 113 84 21 8
1397 Table dancers sure have changed since my college days! 1.3274 0.05543 113 83 23 7
1398 If there’s a better way to keep people 6ft away than being a juggling unicyclist than I haven’t seen it. 1.3274 0.06087 113 87 15 11
1399 I saw “multitasking” on your LinkedIn profile but I wasn’t expecting this. 1.3273 0.05792 110 82 20 8
1400 Typically I use a bowling pin, but I think you get the picture 1.3271 0.05599 107 78 23 6
1401 You ordered the tossed salad? 1.3267 0.05821 101 74 21 6
1402 I can also navigate a government bureaucracy. 1.3265 0.05761 98 71 22 5
1403 You might want to move your drink. 1.3265 0.06115 98 73 18 7
1404 Sure I can manage to juggle a relationship with you into my schedule. Come on up. 1.3265 0.05941 98 72 20 6
1405 It's amazing what you can learn if you log off of Twitter for a few hours. 1.3263 0.05487 95 67 25 3
1406 I'm thinking I'll just have the meatloaf. 1.3263 0.05687 95 68 23 4
1407 Too much? 1.3261 0.05806 92 66 22 4
1408 Give me that glass. 1.3261 0.06008 92 67 20 5
1409 That's not true... I can let you be the center of attention sometimes. 1.3261 0.06577 92 70 14 8
1410 And this is when Cuomo tried to hit on me 1.3261 0.06008 92 67 20 5
1411 Vaccination? Hell No! It is too unsafe. 1.3261 0.06577 92 70 14 8
1412 Get used to it . . . this is what I consider foreplay. 1.3258 0.06545 89 67 15 7
1413 Sorry -- I'm really bad at first-date small talk. 1.3258 0.06347 89 66 17 6
1414 You agreed that I get to pick the trust exercise.... 1.3258 0.05712 89 63 23 3
1415 ”I forgot to mention this skill in our last phone interview! 1.3258 0.05931 89 64 21 4
1416 Hmm.. I could swear the ad said risque girls not risky 1.3258 0.06143 89 65 19 5
1417 Yes, I suppose I could smile more, too. 1.3258 0.06143 89 65 19 5
1418 When we married, I brought two kids and he brought three. This is WAY easier. 1.3256 0.06286 86 63 18 5
1419 Let me explain a bit more about tonight’s specials. 1.3256 0.06286 86 63 18 5
1420 'I always like to make an impression on first dates!' 1.3256 0.05595 86 60 24 2
1421 As you can tell by how this date has been going I have no personality, but I CAN do THIS. 1.3256 0.06707 86 65 14 7
1422 I'm ready to have kids, Darren. 1.3253 0.06880 83 63 13 7
1423 When your Tinder profile said you can juggle many different things at one time, I didn't imagine this is what you meant. 1.3253 0.06206 83 60 19 4
1424 Then, after my fifth cup of coffee, I said sure, I'd love to organize the second grade job fair, because why shouldn't those little buggers get a sense of what it's like to have a master's degree in a gig economy and still feel under appreciated? 1.3253 0.07090 83 64 11 8
1425 Managing Covid 1.3253 0.06206 83 60 19 4
1426 Today's president's specials are brought to you by the IPCC's Climate Change report. Start off with an inverted entreé by Roosevelt: We have everything to fear, including fear itself. 1.3250 0.06358 80 58 18 4
1427 Hi, Doug! Elizabeth will not be joining you this evening. I'm here to deliver a singing telegram about how you make her feel. 1.3250 0.07286 80 62 10 8
1428 Have we gotten the waiter's attention, yet?" 1.3247 0.07025 77 58 13 6
1429 Nothing much. How about you? 1.3247 0.06521 77 56 17 4
1430 I'm thirsty. Can you hand me the glass of water? 1.3247 0.07025 77 58 13 6
1431 It's way easier than small talk. 1.3247 0.06253 77 55 19 3
1432 Lemme guess, you’ve got a lot on your plate? 1.3247 0.06253 77 55 19 3
1433 Was all that in your purse? 1.3243 0.06966 74 55 14 5
1434 Tell the chef to surprise me. 1.3243 0.07227 74 56 12 6
1435 Handing off to you! 1.3239 0.06884 71 52 15 4
1436 I found this a useful skill when I worked for Andrew Cuomo. 1.3239 0.07711 71 55 9 7
1437 ...and I'm good in bed! 1.3239 0.07170 71 53 13 5
1438 But I do have a hard time juggling my love life,work,and the pandemic. 1.3238 0.06274 105 81 14 10
1439 You wanna have sex? 1.3238 0.05820 105 78 20 7
1440 Should have saved it for the second date 1.3235 0.05243 102 72 27 3
1441 You think this is juggling?? Try working, cooking, cleaning, being mom, babysitting, Zooming 7 times a days, dog walking 5 times a days. Wife, lover, mentor, psychiatrist and home-schooling AND I’ve got my own crap to deal with! 1.3235 0.06256 102 78 15 9
1442 And I can cook. 1.3232 0.05529 99 71 24 4
1443 No, no, Dan, you sit, I'll make dinner 1.3232 0.05890 99 73 20 6
1444 Please don’t ask me to repeat the specials. 1.3229 0.06014 96 71 19 6
1445 I think I’m ready for kids. 1.3226 0.06146 93 69 18 6
1446 I knew something was not right. I forgot my mask. 1.3222 0.06286 90 67 17 6
1447 But masks are just so hard 1.3222 0.06482 90 68 15 7
1448 Now do you still think I was lying on my Bumble profile? 1.3222 0.06085 90 66 19 5
1449 I knew I could get you to put your phone down eventually. How was your day? 1.3221 0.04692 149 109 32 8
1450 It's not as hard as juggling parenting and working full time during the pandemic. 1.3220 0.05500 118 88 22 8
1451 I'm sorry, Ted.  I always get nervous on first dates and overcompensate. 1.3218 0.06006 87 63 20 4
1452 And how about you, do you have any hobbies? 1.3218 0.06224 87 64 18 5
1453 I’m from Portland, and you? 1.3218 0.06436 87 65 16 6
1454 If it’s not too much to ask, can you refill my glass with water? 1.3218 0.06224 87 64 18 5
1455 Yes, I have been told there are better ways of getting out of small-talk. 1.3214 0.06595 84 63 15 6
1456 No… I did go to college. I was a philosophy major. 1.3214 0.06374 84 62 17 5
1457 Well, it’s easier than teaching 3rd grade during Covid. 1.3214 0.06374 84 62 17 5
1458 It wasn't until my bowling accident when everything fell into place 1.3214 0.05658 84 59 23 2
1459 ... and this is my MasterClass. 1.3214 0.05906 84 60 21 3
1460 Sir, can you please put on your face mask? 1.3214 0.06374 84 62 17 5
1461 Yeah, Iwould consider my quarantine productive 1.3214 0.05658 84 59 23 2
1462 Next, I dive into the glass of water. 1.3210 0.06989 81 62 12 7
1463 She was flirting with disaster while flirting with disaster. 1.3210 0.06292 81 59 18 4
1464 Yeah, the fiddler called in sick. 1.3210 0.06292 81 59 18 4
1465 No high heels, but I am peddling backwards. 1.3210 0.05507 81 56 24 1
1466 Next I will attempt looking fully woke. 1.3210 0.06042 81 58 20 3
1467 Now, could you toss me that glass of gasoline, hon? 1.3210 0.06042 81 58 20 3
1468 I specifically requested no chainsaws 1.3210 0.06989 81 62 12 7
1469 Okay now, pull the tablecloth out. 1.3205 0.06703 78 58 15 5
1470 When you asked me out for dinner and a show I thought if you paid for dinner I should do my part. 1.3205 0.06703 78 58 15 5
1471 You had me at the unicycle. 1.3205 0.06703 78 58 15 5
1472 It was then John knew he needed to take “likes dangerous women” out of his tinder profile 1.3205 0.06947 78 59 13 6
1473 You WILL call me again, right? RIGHT? 1.3204 0.05888 103 77 19 7
1474 And that was the first hour of MY day. 1.3200 0.06886 75 56 14 5
1475 I rarely draw attention to myself. 1.3200 0.05664 100 73 22 5
1476 oh fuck 1.3200 0.07631 75 59 8 8
1477 I'd like another drink when you have a moment, please. 1.3200 0.06620 75 55 16 4
1478 After parenting while working during lock down this is a cake walk 1.3200 0.07143 75 57 12 6
1479 I stopped drinking because I just learned I'm pregnant. 1.3196 0.06139 97 73 17 7
1480 Throw your drink up, I’ll juggle that too 1.3191 0.05899 94 69 20 5
1481 Really, Susan, you don’t have to do this. You had me at “hello.” 1.3191 0.06090 94 70 18 6
1482 When they said "Nightly Entertainment" I had no idea! 1.3191 0.05286 94 66 26 2
1483 What skills did you pick up during Covid? 1.3190 0.05281 116 85 25 6
1484 I'm juggling too much these days. I'm guessing when dinner arrives, there will also be too much on my plate. 1.3188 0.06999 69 51 14 4
1485 It’s no big deal. All women have to do this all the time. 1.3187 0.06420 91 69 15 7
1486 It's actually harder juggling my career and dating. 1.3187 0.05822 91 66 21 4
1487 Which works better for you, chain saw on, or off? 1.3187 0.06028 91 67 19 5
1488 This is how I thank you for lunch. You should see how I'd thank you for dinner. 1.3182 0.06882 66 48 15 3
1489 And before you ask, no, I won't do this backwards in heels. 1.3182 0.05949 88 64 20 4
1490 I was going to guess tax accountant, but I may be off. 1.3182 0.05725 88 63 22 3
1491 It really calms my nerves on a first date 1.3182 0.05725 88 63 22 3
1492 And who said we weren’t able to juggle dinner and a show in one night? 1.3182 0.06770 88 68 12 8
1493 Sorry, I know it's only our second date...am I moving things too fast for you? 1.3182 0.06574 88 67 14 7
1494 Anything to avoid small talk. 1.3182 0.06574 88 67 14 7
1495 I learned doing this during quarantine. How about you? 1.3182 0.06373 88 66 16 6
1496 But seriously David, the vaccination are dangerous. 1.3182 0.06373 88 66 16 6
1497 I hope this gets the attention of our waiter. 1.3176 0.06083 85 62 19 4
1498 What do these three items have in common? 1.3176 0.05849 85 61 21 3
1499 Singing would have been enough. 1.3176 0.06083 85 62 19 4
1500 You think this is dangerous? Try being in a relationship with a 42-year-old guy who can’t commit. 1.3176 0.05849 85 61 21 3
1501 No, really. I’m listening. 1.3176 0.05849 85 61 21 3
1502 If you think a wife should stick to juggling kitchenware, you've got the wrong girl, buddy. 1.3173 0.05840 104 78 19 7
1503 Happy now that 'Female Multitasker' isn't a social construct? And pass the salt. 1.3173 0.06151 104 80 15 9
1504 In 2020. Why do you ask? 1.3171 0.06227 82 60 18 4
1505 Before we order I wanted to talk to you about where you were last night. 1.3171 0.06693 82 62 14 6
1506 I know. I know. You probably thought I exaggerated my skills on the dating website. 1.3171 0.06464 82 61 16 5
1507 No, please, tell me more about your fantasy league. 1.3171 0.05981 82 59 20 3
1508 This isn’t about you. 1.3171 0.06693 82 62 14 6
1509 I swear I never do this on a first date. 1.3171 0.06227 82 60 18 4
1510 Don't sell yourself short - college a cappella is really cool! 1.3171 0.06464 82 61 16 5
1511 Just tell me when 1.3171 0.06227 82 60 18 4
1512 She’s always giving me the whole ‘I forgot my wallet’ song and dance. 1.3171 0.06693 82 62 14 6
1513 I’m an E.R. Doc on the side. 1.3165 0.06630 79 59 15 5
1514 Now with a quick motion pull the tablecloth. 1.3165 0.06630 79 59 15 5
1515 Would you describe yourself as an optimist or a pessimist? 1.3165 0.06871 79 60 13 6
1516 Feel free to jump in anytime. 1.3163 0.05728 98 72 21 5
1517 I'm a champion at what I do. There's no reason you should find that emasculating, unless I drop the chainsaw. 1.3158 0.07061 76 58 12 6
1518 Catch! 1.3158 0.07305 76 59 10 7
1519 So this is one of those 'circus to table' places I've been hearing about. 1.3158 0.06035 95 71 18 6
1520 It's either this or worry about the climate emergency all day. 1.3158 0.06546 76 56 16 4
1521 Not what I had in mind when I asked for the price of a trick 1.3158 0.06546 76 56 16 4
1522 I couldn't get my sourdough starter to work. This was my second choice. 1.3158 0.06035 95 71 18 6
1523 Look at what I* learned to do in quarantine! 1.3158 0.06218 95 72 16 7
1524 You can remove the tablecloth now. 1.3158 0.06546 76 56 16 4
1525 Vaccination is too risky. 1.3158 0.07061 76 58 12 6
1526 you think this is good? For my next trick I'll play the role of your mother for the next 30 years! 1.3158 0.05847 95 70 20 5
1527 Couldn’t we just go back to your place and have sex? 1.3153 0.06136 111 87 13 11
1528 Dad's a psychoanalyst. 1.3152 0.06359 92 70 15 7
1529 And how do YOU get your kicks? 1.3152 0.05558 92 66 23 3
1530 I really just wanted to know the specials. 1.3152 0.06169 92 69 17 6
1531 Hand me that glass on three. 1.3152 0.05972 92 68 19 5
1532 How are we today? 1.3152 0.05769 92 67 21 4
1533 The last waitress couldn't multi-task. 1.3151 0.06433 73 53 17 3
1534 Hey, it's a living. 1.3151 0.05812 73 51 21 1
1535 As George watched in awe it suddenly dawned on him...Wow, that's a humongous match. 1.3151 0.07267 73 56 11 6
1536 Just Relax. I rarely drop anything. 1.3151 0.06433 73 53 17 3
1537 I was afraid we might run out of things to talk about. 1.3150 0.05327 127 96 22 9
1538 I learned a few different skills in quarantine. 1.3146 0.05671 89 64 22 3
1539 You just aren’t holding up your end of the conversation anymore. 1.3146 0.05892 89 65 20 4
1540 When her profile read that she had escaped from a circus he thought she was referring to a bad marriage. 1.3146 0.05892 89 65 20 4
1541 I can't wait to get you in the sack! 1.3143 0.06914 70 52 14 4
1542 I tried two cats and a loaded pistol but too many women objected. 1.3143 0.05792 105 79 19 7
1543 I don’t usually do this on a first date. 1.3143 0.06286 70 50 18 2
1544 Oh, unvaccinated people are idiots who endanger themselves and everybody around them? Could an idiot who endangers herself and everybody around her do this? 1.3140 0.06247 86 64 17 5
1545 Not bad, but I can recite 1000 digits of Pi. 1.3140 0.06247 86 64 17 5
1546 Do you ever feel like you’re juggling too many things at once? 1.3140 0.06247 86 64 17 5
1547 Sir, I'm thrilled you chose the cirque du soleil special 1.3140 0.06462 86 65 15 6
1548 Yeah I know it’s risky, but honestly it just feels so good to be able to sit inside a restaurant now, ya know? 1.3140 0.06872 86 67 11 8
1549 Who said women CAN’T have it all? 1.3140 0.06247 86 64 17 5
1550 My doctor recommended anti-anxiety meds also, but this was my second choice 1.3140 0.06462 86 65 15 6
1551 So tell me a little about you. 1.3137 0.05742 102 76 20 6
1552 I think I'm ready to be a mother now. 1.3134 0.08017 67 53 7 7
1553 I use this to show my students what the risk of not getting vaccinated looks like. 1.3134 0.07431 67 51 11 5
1554 See how long it takes you to check your phone. 1.3134 0.07120 67 50 13 4
1555 Okay throw me all your insecurities and regrets. 1.3133 0.05920 83 60 20 3
1556 And on our second date, I'll.... 1.3133 0.05667 83 59 22 2
1557 I have no idea what I’m dong! 1.3133 0.06623 83 63 14 6
1558 What’s a girl gotta do to get a drink around here? 1.3133 0.06623 83 63 14 6
1559 It's training for working at home with the kids "online learning". 1.3133 0.06623 83 63 14 6
1560 I felt like branching out to something other than baking during the lockdown. 1.3133 0.05667 83 59 22 2
1561 No need to get up, I’m handling everything just fine. 1.3133 0.06397 83 62 16 5
1562 The food is good here, but good luck getting the waiter’s attention! 1.3133 0.05920 83 60 20 3
1563 When you said dinner and a show, this was not what I was picturing. 1.3133 0.06623 83 63 14 6
1564 Pass me that cup of kerosene, will you 1.3133 0.06397 83 62 16 5
1565 It distracts me from climate change. 1.3125 0.07345 64 48 12 4
1566 Too much for a first date, right? 1.3125 0.05602 96 70 22 4
1567 I can easily juggle you too. 1.3125 0.06796 80 61 13 6
1568 And this is just the beginning of my argument against vaccination. 1.3125 0.06559 80 60 15 5
1569 As Peggy Lee put it, "I got a twenty dollar gold piece says there ain't nothing I can't do. I can make a dress out of a feed bag and I can make a man out of you" 1.3125 0.05981 96 72 18 6
1570 How about you? What hobbies did you take up during quarantine? 1.3125 0.06559 80 60 15 5
1571 Dan was beginning to regret saying he liked “multitasking” on his dating profile. 1.3125 0.06796 80 61 13 6
1572 You were the one who couldn’t handle what life threw at us, Dave. 1.3125 0.06313 80 59 17 4
1573 So what new skills did you learn during the pandemic? 1.3125 0.05790 80 57 21 2
1574 I was thinking of adding a porcupine or a small bottle of nitro glycerine to jazz up the act. Your thoughts? 1.3125 0.05602 96 70 22 4
1575 I quit my job as a grade school teacher b/c it was too dangerous. 1.3125 0.06559 80 60 15 5
1576 ‘Just a little something I picked up during covid.’ 1.3125 0.06162 96 73 16 7
1577 Dave, I think we should see other people. 1.3118 0.05716 93 68 21 4
1578 Now do I have your attention?! 1.3117 0.06203 77 56 18 3
1579 I don't think we can see each other anymore. I've got a lot going on. 1.3117 0.06473 77 57 16 4
1580 Stick a broom up my butt and I’ll sweep all the crumbs away! 1.3117 0.07222 77 60 10 7
1581 If you want to make rent, you're really going to have to step up your act", said the restaurant manager 1.3117 0.06203 77 56 18 3
1582 Maybe I’m trying too hard.. . 1.3117 0.06732 77 58 14 5
1583 Well? I have a lot of things in the air right now - let me get back to you. 1.3111 0.06047 90 67 18 5
1584 Don’t stress it. My ex-boyfriend is out of IC U now. Last I heard he’s doing fine. 1.3111 0.06047 90 67 18 5
1585 Dangerous? Not nearly as dangerous as you not wearing a mask!! 1.3111 0.06047 90 67 18 5
1586 Dating during Covid is risky! 1.3111 0.06047 90 67 18 5
1587 « I’m not sure that’s what they mean when they talk about triple threat Linda» 1.3111 0.06250 90 68 16 6
1588 This wasn't what I pictured when you said dinner and a show.. 1.3111 0.05837 90 66 20 4
1589 Wait for the dismount! 1.3108 0.06360 74 54 17 3
1590 I just wanted to know what your hobbies were. 1.3107 0.06019 103 79 16 8
1591 When your tinder profile mentioned that you're into exotic entertainment, I was really thinking of something else 1.3107 0.05694 103 77 20 6
1592 When I stop you'll need to catch the saw. 1.3103 0.06802 87 68 11 8
1593 I have to say, this is the hardest interview I've ever had. 1.3103 0.05965 87 64 19 4
1594 I used to be stay at home mom. This is a breeze. 1.3103 0.05736 87 63 21 3
1595 Just doing what women do every day, same as you." 1.3103 0.06185 87 65 17 5
1596 I also juggle a career,kids,yoga,cooking… 1.3103 0.05965 87 64 19 4
1597 All I wanted was the chef's special. 1.3103 0.06185 87 65 17 5
1598 Even with my juggling skills as a waitress or my waitressing skills as a juggler, spaghetti is a challenge. 1.3103 0.06397 87 66 15 6
1599 This is not what I meant by ‘dinner and a show’ 1.3103 0.06185 87 65 17 5
1600 Motherhood 1.3103 0.06185 87 65 17 5
1601 You don’t look like your picture 1.3100 0.05808 100 75 19 6
1602 So you can imagine how good I am in bed. 1.3099 0.07118 71 54 12 5
1603 ...and then they asked if I could do it topless. 1.3099 0.06830 71 53 14 4
1604 Honey, could you get my mask from my bag? You're not vaccinated, and you know how I put safety above all else. 1.3095 0.06332 84 63 16 5
1605 See, it’s just like not being vaccinated. I’m the only one who could possibly get hurt! 1.3095 0.06554 84 64 14 6
1606 I don’t remember pre-pandemic socializing being this hard. 1.3095 0.05861 84 61 20 3
1607 I should have mentioned this in my tinder profile. 1.3095 0.06101 84 62 18 4
1608 I feel more comfortable doing this than telling you about myself. 1.3093 0.05744 97 72 20 5
1609 Just curious if you’ll ever ask me a question. 1.3093 0.05554 97 71 22 4
1610 Eh, this is nothing. I’ve got four other jobs just to make rent. 1.3093 0.05928 97 73 18 6
1611 On three, slowly hand me the glass of water. 1.3088 0.07629 68 53 9 6
1612 this is a little forward for a first date 1.3088 0.06710 68 50 15 3
1613 It’s not as easy as it looks 1.3088 0.07030 68 51 13 4
1614 Waiter still not coming over here. Try taking off your shirt and shoes. 1.3086 0.05994 81 59 19 3
1615 I just think a relationship should have a little danger, that’s all 1.3086 0.06489 81 61 15 5
1616 Any chance you could work a Chai Latte into the rotation? 1.3086 0.06489 81 61 15 5
1617 Don’t just sit there, order me a latte. 1.3086 0.05994 81 59 19 3
1618 It’s ok, I’ll do it 1.3086 0.06246 81 60 17 4
1619 COVID was a breeze. 1.3085 0.05863 94 70 19 5
1620 Juggling is a survival skills for moms! 1.3085 0.05863 94 70 19 5
1621 I’m bad at small talk. 1.3085 0.05459 94 68 23 3
1622 I have a three STRIKES policy, Dale, and you DO NOT want to find out how the chainsaw fits into this! 1.3085 0.06241 94 72 15 7
1623 Is this your first speed dating event? 1.3084 0.05541 107 80 21 6
1624 'I like puppies and moonlit walks on the beach' wasn't getting me anywhere. 1.3077 0.06907 65 48 14 3
1625 … but thank you for taking out the trash. 1.3077 0.07247 65 49 12 4
1626 Ha! You think this is stressful. I used to be an ER nurse. 1.3077 0.06190 91 69 16 6
1627 The benefits of the Covid lockdown. 1.3077 0.06903 78 60 12 6
1628 Pandemic hobby....while I stayed safe at home. 1.3077 0.05968 104 80 16 8
1629 Safer than what you ordered. 1.3077 0.06657 78 59 14 5
1630 Do you think it's good enough to impress your mother? 1.3077 0.07247 65 49 12 4
1631 My friends say I get a bit anxious on first dates. 1.3077 0.06903 78 60 12 6
1632 I teach middle level counterclockwise hyperactivity for lefties. 1.3077 0.06385 91 70 14 7
1633 Consider it an amuse-bouche. 1.3077 0.06573 91 71 12 8
1634 Not the 'triple threat' I had in mind when I read your profile bio 1.3077 0.06550 65 47 16 2
1635 I really have to earn my $15/hour 1.3077 0.06657 78 59 14 5
1636 Carl once again is reminded that "go for the juggler, " is simply not in his nature. 1.3069 0.06253 101 79 13 9
1637 Here's me "SITTING." "All day." With three kids. Now toss me a bon-bon. 1.3069 0.06253 101 79 13 9
1638 I will not be ignored. 1.3068 0.05907 88 65 19 4
1639 OK now it's your turn 1.3068 0.06124 88 66 17 5
1640 What makes you think I'm not ready to make a commitment? 1.3068 0.06124 88 66 17 5
1641 Dating without alcohol 1.3068 0.06734 88 69 11 8
1642 They told me meeting a girl would relieve my anxiety. 1.3067 0.06837 75 57 13 5
1643 This should give me an edge over all the other women returning to the workforce. 1.3067 0.06569 75 56 15 4
1644 I can do four, if you'll just loan me your head. 1.3067 0.06288 75 55 17 3
1645 Wanna play torch, ball and saw? 1.3067 0.06837 75 57 13 5
1646 Throw some low expectations and misogyny up here. I can take it.” 1.3067 0.06837 75 57 13 5
1647 I can also produce babies. 1.3067 0.06569 75 56 15 4
1648 Yeah, unemployment benefits ended last week. 1.3067 0.06837 75 57 13 5
1649 Me? I work in insurance. 1.3067 0.05687 75 53 21 1
1650 So let me introduce myself... 1.3067 0.06569 75 56 15 4
1651 Easy compared to home-schooling 1.3065 0.08159 62 49 7 6
1652 No, I don't really have any hobbies. 1.3065 0.06739 62 45 15 2
1653 When you said it was hard to date right now because you had a lot to juggle, I didn’t expect this… 1.3065 0.07828 62 48 9 5
1654 One of us must be crazy. 1.3061 0.05311 98 71 24 3
1655 Now will you concede that men are not as good at multi-tasking as women? 1.3061 0.05876 98 74 18 6
1656 I lean toward manic, but only on first dates. 1.3061 0.05694 98 73 20 5
1657 I invite you to check my references but I feel that I am well suited for the nanny position to help your little boy work on his risk taking behaviors. 1.3059 0.05803 85 62 20 3
1658 But wait, there’s more! 1.3059 0.05803 85 62 20 3
1659 I’ve been told I need to be more memorable on dates. 1.3059 0.06268 85 64 16 5
1660 Quick, now pull out the tablecloth Harry, and THAT’s how you do it 1.3059 0.06040 85 63 18 4
1661 Now will you let me order for myself? 1.3059 0.06268 85 64 16 5
1662 This is what homeschooling and working full-time feels like, Dear. 1.3059 0.06040 85 63 18 4
1663 We need to talk. 1.3059 0.06268 85 64 16 5
1664 I don’t think this is the table dance I requested! 1.3059 0.06700 85 66 12 7
1665 Do you think this can get the waiter's attention?" 1.3056 0.06748 72 54 14 4
1666 And the clowns do all the cooking – as Sir will soon realize 1.3053 0.05614 95 70 21 4
1667 I'm still divorcing you, Sharon. 1.3053 0.06000 95 72 17 6
1668 As I said in my profile,I love to multi-task! 1.3053 0.05810 95 71 19 5
1669 I found a new hobby during the Pandemic! 1.3053 0.05810 95 71 19 5
1670 Just say when 1.3049 0.05933 82 60 19 3
1671 Can you cook? 1.3049 0.06651 82 63 13 6
1672 Please don’t kick the match book cover out from under that leg, sir! 1.3049 0.06873 82 64 11 7
1673 Don't worry, I've met my deductible. 1.3049 0.05933 82 60 19 3
1674 You weren't kidding when your profile said you liked to clown around. 1.3049 0.06181 82 61 17 4
1675 I traded my phone for the chainsaw. People are less worried I will drop it. 1.3049 0.06181 82 61 17 4
1676 I know honey, it’s ok. You’re super busy too. 1.3049 0.06420 82 62 15 5
1677 Go ahead -- tell me about your lousy day at the office. 1.3043 0.06298 69 50 17 2
1678 Usually, I'm in high heels when I do this. 1.3043 0.05934 92 69 18 5
1679 I think I might order the tossed salad. 1.3043 0.06942 69 52 13 4
1680 I don't think that our life insurance policy is going to cover this. 1.3043 0.06132 92 70 16 6
1681 It all started when my mother told me to get my elbows off the table. Ha! Just look at me now! 1.3043 0.06627 69 51 15 3
1682 Well, it's the only sport not yet in the Olympics, and I want to be ready for Paris 2024, just in case... 1.3043 0.05729 92 68 20 4
1683 As if dating during a global pandemic wasn’t enough. 1.3043 0.07242 69 53 11 5
1684 And the specials tonight are... 1.3043 0.06942 69 52 13 4
1685 I just started with career and kids,and then gradually added these in. 1.3043 0.06510 92 72 12 8
1686 If you think this is difficult, try being a working mom. 1.3043 0.05729 92 68 20 4
1687 Your order is going to take a lot longer. 1.3039 0.05536 102 76 21 5
1688 Am I vaccinated? Could an unvaccinated person do this? 1.3039 0.05709 102 77 19 6
1689 Can't we just talk? 1.3038 0.06826 79 61 12 6
1690 Ready...now throw me the baby! 1.3038 0.06332 79 59 16 4
1691 Ok, you've made your point. So you're dating profile isn't exaggerated. 1.3038 0.06584 79 60 14 5
1692 I’m so glad I swiped right. 1.3038 0.06826 79 61 12 6
1693 On my count, throw me that glass of water. 1.3038 0.06826 79 61 12 6
1694 FYI, I’ve never juggled before. 1.3034 0.06472 89 69 13 7
1695 (“Oh, Jessica… You promised yourself you wouldn’t do this on the first date.”) 1.3034 0.06065 89 67 17 5
1696 I do weddings, bar mitzvahs and first dates. 1.3034 0.05397 89 64 23 2
1697 He loves me. He loves me not. 1.3034 0.05851 89 66 19 4
1698 This Lockdown really gets to you, doesn't it? 1.3034 0.05628 89 65 21 3
1699 And with my right foot, I will now swipe left on my phone. 1.3026 0.06218 76 56 17 3
1700 You’re the one that asked for more spontaneity in our relationship. 1.3026 0.05626 76 54 21 1
1701 To start your evening, the chef has made you an amused-douche. 1.3026 0.06759 76 58 13 5
1702 I'll only stop if you ask me to marry you 1.3026 0.07260 76 60 9 7
1703 I did say I was juggling a few things these days on Tinder 1.3026 0.07260 76 60 9 7
1704 I seem to go on a lot of first dates. 1.3026 0.05929 76 55 19 2
1705 Odd mating ritual... but it's kinda working for me 1.3026 0.05929 76 55 19 2
1706 My mother’s the bearded lady and my dad works in risk assessment. What do you do? 1.3026 0.06494 76 57 15 4
1707 … and that was the last time young David included “looking for someone adventurous” in his online dating profile. 1.3026 0.06759 76 58 13 5
1708 Let me know if you’d like a hard copy of my resume too. 1.3026 0.05929 76 55 19 2
1709 She looked younger in her profile picture... 1.3023 0.06421 86 66 14 6
1710 Hold on, the best part is coming! 1.3023 0.06204 86 65 16 5
1711 For our first date, I thought I’d show you how I can juggle everything and stay balanced. 1.3023 0.06421 86 66 14 6
1712 If you’ve got a better way of getting the waiter’s attention Gary, go for it. 1.3023 0.05503 86 62 22 2
1713 Sorry Stan, it’s not you,I’m just juggling too many things in my life now! 1.3021 0.05758 96 72 19 5
1714 It looks hard, but it’s easier than pretending to laugh at your jokes. 1.3016 0.07024 63 47 13 3
1715 I told you my life was a circus. 1.3016 0.07024 63 47 13 3
1716 I went camping with my bowling team, and, well, one thing led to another. 1.3016 0.06649 63 46 15 2
1717 You may want to move back, the ending's been giving me some trouble. 1.3016 0.07379 63 48 11 4
1718 I also adopted a dog, taught myself French, and learned to bake bread. 1.3014 0.06376 73 54 16 3
1719 And for my next trick, I will hold down a full time job and home school our children during a pandemic... 1.3014 0.06376 73 54 16 3
1720 Sorry, it's a nervous habit. 1.3014 0.06948 73 56 12 5
1721 Toss me a Ritalin, will you? 1.3014 0.07216 73 57 10 6
1722 You want fries with that? 1.3012 0.06580 83 64 13 6
1723 Student, athlete, part-time worker, and your bride-to-be. 1.3012 0.06117 83 62 17 4
1724 I was just bored one night and wanted to do something different. 1.3012 0.06117 83 62 17 4
1725 When do we eat? 1.3012 0.05349 83 59 23 1
1726 No, this is the easy part. The mental load is the real challenge. 1.3012 0.06353 83 63 15 5
1727 …and how was your day? Busy? 1.3012 0.05872 83 61 19 3
1728 With everything I’m juggling right now, it’s just not a good time for me to start a new relationship. 1.3011 0.06074 93 71 16 6
1729 But I hate long walks on the beach, guess we aren’t a match 1.3010 0.05132 103 75 25 3
1730 Is this what’s called a table show??? 1.3000 0.06547 70 52 15 3
1731 Impressive act. But I need to hire someone who can do it blindfolded. 1.3000 0.06409 90 70 13 7
1732 Marriage therapy trust building exercise gone rogue. 1.3000 0.06856 70 53 13 4
1733 I'm used to dating clowns. 1.3000 0.06848 60 44 14 2
1734 I picked theses tricks up during the first lockdown. 1.3000 0.05795 90 67 19 4
1735 Now you do this backwards in high heels. 1.3000 0.06409 90 70 13 7
1736 #Cartoon Caption Contest " Listen, you were late, so I had a few cocktails". 1.3000 0.06751 80 62 12 6
1737 I think we're getting the waiter's attention. 1.3000 0.05795 90 67 19 4
1738 This is just easier than carrying our conversation. 1.3000 0.05795 90 67 19 4
1739 When you mentioned your penchant for risky behavior, this wasn’t what I expected. 1.3000 0.05795 90 67 19 4
1740 As you see I am ready to get married. 1.3000 0.07249 60 45 12 3
1741 I’m not good at small talk but I have some cool motor skills ! 1.2989 0.06143 87 66 16 5
1742 Alright - you can multitask. I get it. 1.2989 0.05691 87 64 20 3
1743 I'm really glad we're taking things slow. On the second date, I usually just disappear. 1.2989 0.05451 87 63 22 2
1744 Capturing a server’s attention shouldn’t be this hard 1.2989 0.06143 87 66 16 5
1745 For your safety,masks are encouraged. 1.2987 0.06149 77 57 17 3
1746 But, honey, I want to try for a boy. 1.2987 0.05865 77 56 19 2
1747 Sorry if I seem a bit fidgety. I think it was the espresso. 1.2987 0.05865 77 56 19 2
1748 Make your own damn supper. 1.2987 0.07175 77 61 9 7
1749 I’m not quite ready to add in a relationship. 1.2987 0.05865 77 56 19 2
1750 These side hustles are really paying off 1.2987 0.06421 77 58 15 4
1751 This artistic interpretation of the last two years is spot on 1.2987 0.06682 77 59 13 5
1752 I finally got you to put your phone away!! 1.2985 0.07058 67 51 12 4
1753 Hi, I’m Kaylee and I’ll be your server tonight. 1.2985 0.06730 67 50 14 3
1754 You’ll excuse me if I seem nervous, this is my first time speed dating. 1.2979 0.06018 94 72 16 6
1755 I'm sorry. I've only been talking about myself. What can you juggle 1.2976 0.06287 84 64 15 5
1756 You told me Carl that you wanted an entertaining dinner date . 1.2976 0.05297 84 60 23 1
1757 My last dating app match called our date "boring". That won't happen again ! 1.2976 0.06511 84 65 13 6
1758 On the 4th date, I do it with my top off! 1.2976 0.06055 84 63 17 4
1759 Just want to give you a heads up on the new menu! 1.2976 0.06511 84 65 13 6
1760 See? I can handle your baggage. 1.2976 0.05813 84 62 19 3
1761 I do this when I'm nervous. 1.2973 0.05350 74 52 22 0
1762 Darling, you watch way too much porn. 1.2973 0.06590 74 56 14 4
1763 This is the juggling I had to do for our date tonight. 1.2973 0.06303 74 55 16 3
1764 Of course we can have sex, but after some foreplay 1.2973 0.06590 74 56 14 4
1765 Now throw me your red flag 1.2973 0.06590 74 56 14 4
1766 Stick around for the late show when I juggle the politics of the vaccine and masks! 1.2973 0.06865 74 57 12 5
1767 I am also caring for my aging parents and two kids. 1.2973 0.06590 74 56 14 4
1768 See? I wasn't lying on tinder. 1.2970 0.05548 101 76 20 5
1769 So what skills do YOU bring to the table? 1.2969 0.06929 64 48 13 3
1770 How’s this for spontaneous? 1.2969 0.07612 64 50 9 5
1771 So what did you learn during covid lock down? 1.2969 0.06929 64 48 13 3
1772 Yet I have trouble walking and chewing gum at the same time. Go figure. 1.2967 0.06151 91 70 15 6
1773 Just so you know I'm capable of being a mom. 1.2967 0.06347 91 71 13 7
1774 I heard vaccinations are dangerous!! 1.2967 0.06151 91 70 15 6
1775 Yes, I'll put on my mask. Gimme a sec... 1.2963 0.06197 81 61 16 4
1776 And so, we got divorced because my ex didn't fully appreciate my endless multi-tasking abilities... 1.2963 0.05943 81 60 18 3
1777 Your profile pic included an axe. 1.2963 0.07124 81 65 8 8
1778 Don't worry. We get workers comp. 1.2963 0.06442 81 62 14 5
1779 I’m every woman. It’s all in me. 1.2963 0.06442 81 62 14 5
1780 You had me at unicycle 1.2963 0.05943 81 60 18 3
1781 We're out of appetizers. 1.2958 0.06771 71 54 13 4
1782 No red flags whatsoever. 1.2958 0.07062 71 55 11 5
1783 It helps me practice mindfulness. 1.2958 0.05812 71 51 19 1
1784 Susan had a most peculiar way of avoiding eye contact when meeting people. 1.2958 0.06771 71 54 13 4
1785 If this doesn't get the waiter's attention, I don't know what will. 1.2958 0.06771 71 54 13 4
1786 Oh my god, it’s nice to be able to relax for once. 1.2958 0.06467 71 53 15 3
1787 Do I have your attention yet, Peter? 1.2955 0.05863 88 66 18 4
1788 So this is why I'm a widow. 1.2955 0.06293 88 68 14 6
1789 This is a high risk lifestyle, yes, but I don't drink or do drugs. 1.2955 0.06293 88 68 14 6
1790 They've asked us to go back to the office, I'm trying to prepare myself 1.2955 0.06293 88 68 14 6
1791 This is bound to attract the attention of the waiter 1.2951 0.06335 61 44 16 1
1792 Welcome to the cruise ship entertainment for the unvaxed. 1.2949 0.06607 78 60 13 5
1793 The fortune cookie said, "I'd watch where you sit, if I were you"! 1.2949 0.06082 78 58 17 3
1794 If you're not going to drink that water, just throw it here. 1.2949 0.06350 78 59 15 4
1795 You’re hired! 1.2949 0.06350 78 59 15 4
1796 And he still did not tip. 1.2949 0.06082 78 58 17 3
1797 Alison I just feel like our sex life isn’t what it used to be 1.2949 0.06607 78 60 13 5
1798 Now your Tinder bio makes more sense 1.2949 0.06854 78 61 11 6
1799 Best first date - first impression ever, right? 1.2947 0.05962 95 73 16 6
1800 I think you may have subscribed to the wrong online dating site. 1.2947 0.05370 95 70 22 3
1801 This isn't what I meant by dinner and a show. 1.2941 0.06968 68 52 12 4
1802 No, both my parents were accountants… 1.2941 0.06223 85 65 15 5
1803 I just picked it up yesterday during vacation from cooking our meals, raising our children and running a Fortune 500 company. 1.2941 0.07276 68 53 10 5
1804 No, this is my first try. Why do you ask? 1.2941 0.06968 68 52 12 4
1805 You're right, there's no good option if I mess up. 1.2941 0.06645 68 51 14 3
1806 Where there's a wheel, there's a way. 1.2941 0.06223 85 65 15 5
1807 They say you should start with just three objects and then work your way up 1.2941 0.05755 85 63 19 3
1808 Wow, I’m impressed your still sitting here. By know I usually lose my date….. one way or another. 1.2941 0.06223 85 65 15 5
1809 When you are getting over your 30s and have been single, randomly dating for years, you know how to deal... 😎 1.2941 0.05948 68 49 18 1
1810 No sir, this is Cirque du Solo. 1.2935 0.05893 92 70 17 5
1811 And for my encore, I'll pretend like your life is interesting. 1.2935 0.06093 92 71 15 6
1812 We have to entertain ourselves somehow since they stopped giving us crayons and placemats to draw on 1.2933 0.06231 75 56 16 3
1813 I’m guessing that you don’t know how to cook. 1.2933 0.06514 75 57 14 4
1814 Ooops, can you be a dear and catch the power saw? 1.2933 0.06785 75 58 12 5
1815 People are always surprise with how literal "juggling many things" is on my Tinder profile. 1.2933 0.06231 75 56 16 3
1816 Try mansplaining this! 1.2933 0.06785 75 58 12 5
1817 You always said you wanted something more exciting for dinner 1.2931 0.06511 58 42 15 1
1818 So continue mansplaining, what did you say I was doing wrong here? 1.2931 0.07382 58 44 11 3
1819 Floor show? That's so twentieth-century. 1.2927 0.06373 82 63 14 5
1820 I told you I have skills. I was being honest. 1.2927 0.06373 82 63 14 5
1821 Much easier than what I have to juggle everyday 1.2927 0.05881 82 61 18 3
1822 This relationship won't end well. 1.2927 0.06373 82 63 14 5
1823 Don’t worry, you know we women are multitaskers 1.2923 0.06476 65 48 15 2
1824 I’ve been burned before. 1.2923 0.06093 65 47 17 1
1825 And this routine is called “Stay Six Feet Away” 1.2923 0.07180 65 50 11 4
1826 Been so long since I’ve been out on a date. Not sure what to do with my hands. 1.2923 0.07507 65 51 9 5
1827 My mother wanted me to take ballet. 1.2921 0.05104 89 64 24 1
1828 But Alice, it will never become an Olympic Event no matter how much you train for it." 1.2917 0.06390 72 54 15 3
1829 Tell me this isn't a turn on! 1.2917 0.06390 72 54 15 3
1830 It just makes conversation on a first date so much easier. 1.2917 0.05719 96 73 18 5
1831 Hire me for a "trick"? No, sir. I perform feats. 1.2917 0.06091 96 75 14 7
1832 No. There's nothing you can help me with. 1.2917 0.06390 72 54 15 3
1833 This is how I stayed sane during the lockdown 1.2917 0.06076 72 53 17 2
1834 I'm sorry, it's been so long I've forgotten how to date normally 1.2913 0.04887 127 96 25 6
1835 I'm regretting this blind date. 1.2911 0.06534 79 61 13 5
1836 Don't you hate dating during the Olympics... 1.2911 0.06016 79 59 17 3
1837 I was hoping this might get a conversation going 1.2911 0.06016 79 59 17 3
1838 This is the only way I can make more than $15/hour. What do you think? 1.2911 0.06534 79 61 13 5
1839 I am listening. Go on. Finish telling me about your digital marketing management job. 1.2911 0.07013 79 63 9 7
1840 Since the divorce my life has been a circus. 1.2911 0.05740 79 58 19 2
1841 I'm just A typical girl - multitastking, fun and sometimes dangerous 1.2911 0.06777 79 62 11 6
1842 That’s nice, so are you vaccinated? 1.2911 0.06280 79 60 15 4
1843 If I were you, I would be far more supportive! 1.2907 0.06589 86 68 11 7
1844 I asked for a jigger. 1.2907 0.06159 86 66 15 5
1845 ‘Life’ is all about choices, isn’t it? 1.2907 0.06159 86 66 15 5
1846 It's a lot easier now that the children are in pre-school. 1.2907 0.05196 86 62 23 1
1847 So instead of first-date small talk, I present you with this metaphor. 1.2907 0.06589 86 68 11 7
1848 It's not you—I've just got a lot going on right now. 1.2906 0.05300 117 90 20 7
1849 When you told me you were comfortable going maskless on our first date, I assumed you'd be cool with this. 1.2903 0.06250 62 45 16 1
1850 Never again will I order a deconstructed sambuca." 1.2903 0.07046 62 47 12 3
1851 Amuse-gueule? 1.2903 0.07760 62 49 8 5
1852 That's enough about me - now let's hear about you! 1.2903 0.06035 93 72 15 6
1853 I can't stand a guy who just sits there. 1.2903 0.05838 93 71 17 5
1854 What does it take to impress you?! 1.2899 0.06229 69 51 16 2
1855 Career, marriage? No problem. What can you do?" 1.2899 0.06879 69 53 12 4
1856 They said not to try it at home. 1.2899 0.06562 69 52 14 3
1857 Finally time to relax and enjoy a nice- did I change the batteries in the smoke alarm? Are the kids signed up for fall league? Does the tree next to the house need cut back? 1.2899 0.07473 69 55 8 6
1858 The dangers of indoor dining 1.2899 0.06562 69 52 14 3
1859 Do you want to talk about Covid. climate change or gun control? I can even discuss all three at once!!! 1.2899 0.06879 69 53 12 4
1860 Your new antipasto skewers will be out in three minutes. Sorry I dropped your first order. On the plus side, I did not drop the chainsaw. 1.2895 0.06963 76 60 10 6
1861 Did I mention I’m an overachiever? 1.2895 0.06439 76 58 14 4
1862 My day was a bit of a challenge. How was yours? 1.2895 0.06160 76 57 16 3
1863 Does it make up for the fact I'm not much of a cook? 1.2895 0.05869 76 56 18 2
1864 See? If you’re vaccinated, dining out during COVID is perfectly safe! 1.2895 0.06160 76 57 16 3
1865 my boyfriend cuts my bangs 1.2892 0.06068 83 63 16 4
1866 When I said I fancied something different tonight I was thing more 'Chinese' 1.2892 0.06068 83 63 16 4
1867 You wanted an entertaining woman, well here you go sir! 1.2892 0.06068 83 63 16 4
1868 It's how I handle first date jitters. 1.2889 0.05751 90 68 18 4
1869 Student debt be damned, a degree from Clown College still has its perks. 1.2889 0.06170 90 70 14 6
1870 Don’t worry, you’re next. 1.2889 0.06170 90 70 14 6
1871 No. I haven't gotten my Covid vaccine. How'd you know? 1.2887 0.05855 97 75 16 6
1872 I can easily make it a table for one. 1.2887 0.05475 97 73 20 4
1873 I’d show you our dessert menu, but I’m more focused on not cutting myself right now. Also, I don’t work here. And this isn’t a restaurant 1.2881 0.07273 59 45 11 3
1874 Can you tell I went to Montessori school? 1.2879 0.06747 66 50 13 3
1875 My last boyfriend accused me of being a show-off. 1.2879 0.06017 66 48 17 1
1876 I told you, I can do it all! 1.2879 0.07406 66 52 9 5
1877 I did promise you dinner and a show. 1.2879 0.06747 66 50 13 3
1878 No, of course I love your work stories” 1.2879 0.07084 66 51 11 4
1879 When the interviewer asked about multitasking, he was both impressed and concerned with the job applicant. 1.2879 0.07084 66 51 11 4
1880 Dropping the ball is the least of my worries. 1.2877 0.06315 73 55 15 3
1881 I normally don’t do this ‘till the third date 1.2877 0.06315 73 55 15 3
1882 You say your family is like a three ring circus, so naturally I’ll fit right in. 1.2877 0.06891 73 57 11 5
1883 So how hard can it be to bring two waters? 1.2877 0.06609 73 56 13 4
1884 Public safety? What about my freedom? If others are afraid of my dangerous and irresponsible behavior they should just stay home. 1.2877 0.07162 73 58 9 6
1885 Is this casual enough for you? 1.2875 0.06212 80 61 15 4
1886 I don’t think so. What’s ADHD? 1.2875 0.05952 80 60 17 3
1887 This is what the New Normal looks like for me. 1.2874 0.05874 87 66 17 4
1888 Now toss me the glass of gasoline. 1.2857 0.05445 112 87 18 7
1889 …when I said “Table for one”, I know I didn’t mean “one wheel”…. 1.2857 0.05502 77 56 20 1
1890 Juggler? No, I'm an executive assistant 1.2857 0.07977 63 51 6 6
1891 I'm having a Barnum and Bailey moment. 1.2857 0.05804 77 57 18 2
1892 Consider yourself lucky that this isn’t a blind date. 1.2857 0.06481 70 53 14 3
1893 It started with a rainy Saturday and three tennis balls. 1.2857 0.06153 70 52 16 2
1894 My therapist said I needed a substitute for getting into dangerous relationships. 1.2857 0.06683 84 67 10 7
1895 My mother did this with one hand behind her back. 1.2857 0.06481 70 53 14 3
1896 Her profile writer did a great job, but failed to mention a few things. 1.2857 0.06153 70 52 16 2
1897 Of course I can handle the Presidency! 1.2857 0.07650 63 50 8 5
1898 Single parent... how'd you guess? 1.2857 0.06603 56 41 14 1
1899 No, it's my first time. Why? 1.2857 0.06153 70 52 16 2
1900 I'm not bored! Keep telling your story. 1.2857 0.08341 56 45 6 5
1901 I suppose the vaccine did help me regain my old work-life balance. 1.2857 0.05737 63 45 18 0
1902 ...Murphy's Law? 1.2857 0.06366 77 59 14 4
1903 First impressions are everything these days. 1.2857 0.06091 77 58 16 3
1904 Yeah but can you sleep with the TV on? 1.2857 0.06481 70 53 14 3
1905 It’s not you, I’m just juggling a lot at work right now… 1.2857 0.05737 63 45 18 0
1906 I feel like a circus act, since I keep dating clowns. 1.2857 0.06793 70 54 12 4
1907 Mom life 1.2857 0.06005 84 64 16 4
1908 How it feels to make small talk during a worldwide pandemic 1.2857 0.06948 63 48 12 3
1909 Trying to find the work/life balance post COVID 1.2857 0.05012 91 66 24 1
1910 I wonder what her underwear looks like… 1.2857 0.06481 70 53 14 3
1911 It’s hard to get the waiter’s attention in this place. 1.2843 0.05808 102 80 15 7
1912 Does this help you understand what I mean by carrying the 'mental load'? 1.2841 0.05348 88 65 21 2
1913 What do you like to do for fun? 1.2840 0.05620 81 60 19 2
1914 Well, it was really easy to get started... 1.2840 0.06628 81 64 11 6
1915 Your profile said unvaccinated, so I thought you'd like danger 1.2840 0.06145 81 62 15 4
1916 "Are you asking a how question or a why question?" 1.2840 0.06857 81 65 9 7
1917 The pandemic gave me a lot of time to explore who I really am. 1.2840 0.06145 81 62 15 4
1918 I watched Tiger King, baked a lot of bread and then just basically worked on doing this. 1.2840 0.06391 81 63 13 5
1919 You had me at hello. 1.2838 0.05937 74 55 17 2
1920 ... so, Billy, just imagine what I might be capable of on our third date. 1.2838 0.06241 74 56 15 3
1921 Most of my hobbies are metaphors. 1.2838 0.06808 74 58 11 5
1922 It's only fair you wash the dishes 1.2838 0.06808 74 58 11 5
1923 For my next act, hand me our kids and my career. 1.2838 0.06531 74 57 13 4
1924 It’s the only way to get our waiter’s attention. 1.2838 0.06531 74 57 13 4
1925 Proving every word of her online dating profile was true. 1.2838 0.05937 74 55 17 2
1926 And you thought I couldn't juggle time for this 1.2836 0.06991 67 52 11 4
1927 Well, it all started with balancing drinks on a tray. 1.2836 0.06311 67 50 15 2
1928 I’ll show you how to get a waiter’s attention. 1.2836 0.06311 67 50 15 2
1929 During the pandemic, Marjorie tried to make every meal, as entertaining as possible! 1.2836 0.06991 67 52 11 4
1930 Great. But can you dance backwards in heals? 1.2836 0.06991 67 52 11 4
1931 And I bring home the bacon too 1.2836 0.06660 67 51 13 3
1932 I’m also a PhD. 1.2836 0.07307 67 53 9 5
1933 Staying home for a year was awesome! 1.2826 0.06245 92 73 12 7
1934 Since when was work and life not enough? 1.2824 0.05944 85 65 16 4
1935 Sorry, I get a little nervous on dates 1.2824 0.05703 85 64 18 3
1936 Sorry, I thought you said “tricks”. Yes, your bread sticks will be out shortly. 1.2824 0.05703 85 64 18 3
1937 . I really have to get more selective on Tinder. 1.2824 0.05703 85 64 18 3
1938 Aside from this, I also juggle work, school and dating. 1.2821 0.06024 78 59 16 3
1939 I’d like to mention that two of the three items I’m juggling are yours. Imagine that!” 1.2821 0.05741 78 58 18 2
1940 If you like this, wait until you take me out on date no. 2! 1.2821 0.06803 78 62 10 6
1941 Trust me, this was way sexier on zoom 1.2821 0.06294 78 60 14 4
1942 For our first date I thought I would give you a preview of my love language. 1.2821 0.06803 78 62 10 6
1943 I think you finally caught our waiter's attention. 1.2821 0.06294 78 60 14 4
1944 You ain't got the balls to do what I do! 1.2821 0.06294 78 60 14 4
1945 You forgot to start up the chainsaw 1.2821 0.06024 78 59 16 3
1946 Don’t worry, they’ve all been sanitized! 1.2821 0.06024 78 59 16 3
1947 This is easy, but adding a baby will be tough. 1.2817 0.06708 71 55 12 4
1948 It was this or learning to bake bread 1.2817 0.07002 71 56 10 5
1949 So, tell me a little about yourself. 1.2817 0.06079 71 53 16 2
1950 When he tells you to get off your phone and entertain him 1.2817 0.07002 71 56 10 5
1951 Yes, I CAN bring you another glass of water... 1.2816 0.05418 103 79 19 5
1952 It helps me stay centered. 1.2812 0.06481 64 48 14 2
1953 This is what I bring to the table. 1.2812 0.07206 64 50 10 4
1954 For my Olympic torch relay tryout,shall I juggle another ball and buzzsaw too,or just pop a wheelie on this unicycle as-is? 1.2812 0.06853 64 49 12 3
1955 Wow, I see you put your pandemic lockdown to good use. I read a lot. 1.2812 0.05278 96 72 21 3
1956 To be honest, I’m not too worried about COVID. 1.2812 0.06481 64 48 14 2
1957 On the whole, this is less dangerous than living in Florida or Texas. 1.2812 0.07542 64 51 8 5
1958 This metaphor is surprisingly specific. 1.2812 0.06853 64 49 12 3
1959 Juggling this crap is a snap after years of balancing career, kids, relationships and self-care." 1.2812 0.07864 64 52 6 6
1960 It's a metaphor for "me too". 1.2812 0.05278 96 72 21 3
1961 In my spare time? Not much. You? 1.2812 0.06853 64 49 12 3
1962 What’s your superpower? 1.2812 0.06481 64 48 14 2
1963 I guess I'm still OK with doing all the work in this relationship. 1.2809 0.05759 89 68 17 4
1964 And what are you bringing to the table? 1.2809 0.05759 89 68 17 4
1965 I'm what they call a 'multi-tasker.' 1.2807 0.07818 57 45 8 4
1966 You should see me handle a husband, two kids and a full-time job! 1.2807 0.06970 57 43 12 2
1967 Would you like me to sit on your lap and do this? 1.2807 0.06505 57 42 14 1
1968 This part is easy. Now watch me remove the tablecloth without spilling your drink. 1.2807 0.07818 57 45 8 4
1969 So I’d like to think I used quarantine to explore and perfect my hobbies. 1.2807 0.07818 57 45 8 4
1970 So, what do you do in your free time? 1.2807 0.07818 57 45 8 4
1971 You don't exactly look like your profile picture, either. 1.2805 0.05562 82 61 19 2
1972 Believe it or not, this is still way easier than trying to fit grad school classes into my schedule. 1.2805 0.05827 82 62 17 3
1973 Because if I used two wheels, Dan, I'd obviously be multi-tasking. 1.2805 0.06079 82 63 15 4
1974 Your spare ribs can be flamed broiled or sliced very thin. What will it be, sir? 1.2805 0.05827 82 62 17 3
1975 After the pandemic, table dancing was never the same again 1.2805 0.06322 82 64 13 5
1976 Compared to not getting vaccinated, this is no-risk. 1.2800 0.06990 75 60 9 6
1977 They told me you go for the juggler. 1.2800 0.06728 75 59 11 5
1978 This is asking a lot for $7.25 an hour. 1.2800 0.06454 75 58 13 4
1979 The roast is going to take a little longer than I thought. 1.2800 0.06728 75 59 11 5
1980 I guess a BJ is out of the question. 1.2800 0.06990 75 60 9 6
1981 So do you still believe I can't juggle marriage to you, children and a job at the same time? 1.2800 0.06728 75 59 11 5
1982 I'm impressed. Most guys would've left after the bowling ball. 1.2800 0.06728 75 59 11 5
1983 But can you fold a fitted sheet? 1.2800 0.06454 75 58 13 4
1984 What does a girl have to do to get a drink around here? 1.2794 0.06231 68 51 15 2
1985 Picking up the glass is the hardest part. 1.2794 0.07211 68 54 9 5
1986 Can you go get the baby?" 1.2794 0.06900 68 53 11 4
1987 Could you order me a salad? 1.2794 0.06574 68 52 13 3
1988 My dating profile did say that I juggle a lot of responsibilities 1.2794 0.05869 68 50 17 1
1989 I always try to impress on a first date. 1.2794 0.06900 68 53 11 4
1990 Is this adventurous enough for you, Mark? 1.2794 0.06231 68 51 15 2
1991 My previous date said that I was selling myself short." 1.2791 0.05646 86 65 18 3
1992 What's a gal gotta do to get some service around here? 1.2791 0.05139 86 63 22 1
1993 I’ve been using this time to build up the Other Skills section of my resume. 1.2791 0.05646 86 65 18 3
1994 I bowled a bit in high school, and I have to say, you’re throwing the ball completely wrong. 1.2791 0.06331 86 68 12 6
1995 Thanks, but on the other hand, I don’t cook and I’m terrible in bed. 1.2787 0.07064 61 47 11 3
1996 Can any of your other dates do this? 1.2787 0.06666 61 46 13 2
1997 Helen is happy to show off why she came in 26th on America's Got Talent. 1.2787 0.07064 61 47 11 3
1998 So what hobbies did you pick up during lockdown? 1.2787 0.06666 61 46 13 2
1999 You really should be wearing a mask. 1.2785 0.06480 79 62 12 5
2000 I'm not usually this outgoing on a first date. 1.2785 0.05958 79 60 16 3
2001 I'd like to see the waitstaff at Eleven Madison Park try this! 1.2785 0.06224 79 61 14 4
2002 If this doesn’t get our waiter’s attention, nothing will.” 1.2785 0.05958 79 60 16 3
2003 Please help me by taking your drink off of the table without spilling it. 1.2785 0.05679 79 59 18 2
2004 Tomorrow, it's all about walking and chewing gum at the same time. 1.2785 0.06480 79 62 12 5
2005 For the third time this week, Jeremy questioned the validity of online dating. 1.2785 0.06726 79 63 10 6
2006 I think the pandemic helped us all realize that life is too short to waste so much talent. 1.2785 0.06224 79 61 14 4
2007 Yeah but do you know the difference between there, their, and they’re 1.2785 0.06224 79 61 14 4
2008 My profile does say “I love entertaining” ! 1.2784 0.05022 97 72 23 2
2009 It's nothing special. Every woman does this. 1.2778 0.06326 90 72 11 7
2010 Every accountant learns this little trick in order to get “certified”! 1.2778 0.06915 72 57 10 5
2011 Funny, I’ve never dated a guy who drinks. 1.2778 0.07199 54 41 11 2
2012 I thought you were joking on your bumble profile... 1.2778 0.06626 72 56 12 4
2013 What gives you the idea that I don't want to discuss politics? 1.2778 0.06626 72 56 12 4
2014 Let me know when I can stop multi-tasking. 1.2778 0.06915 72 57 10 5
2015 Maybe go back to watching a little more HDTV and a little less TicTok? 1.2778 0.06626 72 56 12 4
2016 I'm a mom. It's part of the training. 1.2778 0.06915 72 57 10 5
2017 I can also juggle my career ambitions and motherhood. 1.2778 0.06324 72 55 14 3
2018 When my bio said I wanted the whole package, I didn’t mean this 1.2778 0.06915 72 57 10 5
2019 I told you I learned some new skills during COVID!! 1.2778 0.05672 72 53 18 1
2020 Aaaand you’re still in love with your ex, aren’t you? 1.2778 0.06915 72 57 10 5
2021 I actually hate the circus, clowns are creepy 1.2778 0.06626 72 56 12 4
2022 Tom supposed Jane's ability to multitask was impressive but he remained steadfast in his belief that it was better to focus on one task at a time: right now, for example, wondering when dinner was going to be served. 1.2771 0.06485 83 66 11 6
2023 It was either this or have twins. 1.2771 0.06255 83 65 13 5
2024 I like to take chances when I dine out. 1.2771 0.06015 83 64 15 4
2025 Wow! Women really CAN do it all! 1.2771 0.06255 83 65 13 5
2026 I'm not comfortable carrying serving plates. 1.2769 0.06761 65 50 12 3
2027 He's thinking -- how can we be compatible? She's asking -- what's your new trick? 1.2769 0.07438 65 52 8 5
2028 First date expectations. 1.2769 0.07108 65 51 10 4
2029 You don't get a second chance at a first impression. 1.2769 0.06395 65 49 14 2
2030 Red Flag? No no, it's a torch. 1.2769 0.06395 65 49 14 2
2031 I always enjoy our quiet dinners without the kids. 1.2769 0.05593 65 47 18 0
2032 Start the chainsaw and I'll be impressed. 1.2769 0.07438 65 52 8 5
2033 And all you're concerned about is can I cook? 1.2766 0.05741 94 73 16 5
2034 I love you, I love you not. 1.2766 0.05741 94 73 16 5
2035 It's for Instagram. I'll be done in a sec. 1.2763 0.05803 76 57 17 2
2036 Would you like to hear our specials? 1.2763 0.05803 76 57 17 2
2037 Do you want to split the bill, fire the waiter or have a ball? 1.2763 0.06908 76 61 9 6
2038 ' Why do you always say I need too much attention?' 1.2763 0.05493 76 56 19 1
2039 I cleaned out the garage. 1.2763 0.06098 76 58 15 3
2040 How’s your share of the ‘mental load’ holding up there, honey? 1.2763 0.06908 76 61 9 6
2041 That’s not that hard, it’s just like the gig economy. 1.2763 0.06379 76 59 13 4
2042 Your profile said you ‘loved being surprised.’ 1.2763 0.06379 76 59 13 4
2043 It's called being a mom Scott. 1.2759 0.07293 58 45 10 3
2044 My last boyfriend was a total clown. 1.2759 0.06866 58 44 12 2
2045 This is easy. Dating again is hard. 1.2759 0.07293 58 45 10 3
2046 So you learned to speak Italian during lockdown? I’m impressed! 1.2759 0.05590 87 66 18 3
2047 Not what I had in mind when you said dinner and a show. 1.2759 0.07293 58 45 10 3
2048 I meant "I'm tired of dating clowns" literally 1.2759 0.06866 58 44 12 2
2049 You said you wanted to meet a women who could multitask. 1.2759 0.05590 87 66 18 3
2050 That’s what I call multitasking! 1.2759 0.06049 87 68 14 5
2051 And what was it you said to the cute waitress? 1.2755 0.05942 98 78 13 7
2052 Let’s play my new version of “rock, paper, scissors.” 1.2755 0.05577 98 76 17 5
2053 We ran out of the amuse-bouche. 1.2754 0.06811 69 54 11 4
2054 Can you figure out what’s for dinner tonight? I’m really juggling a lot right now. 1.2754 0.06491 69 53 13 3
2055 And I do circumcisions as well! 1.2754 0.07117 69 55 9 5
2056 We get it, being a woman is hard! 1.2754 0.06811 69 54 11 4
2057 This is bowling ball flambe. The chainsaw is just a garnish. 1.2754 0.06154 69 52 15 2
2058 And voila! Here comes the waiter. 1.2754 0.06491 69 53 13 3
2059 Yes, yes but where’s my dinner? 1.2754 0.06491 69 53 13 3
2060 The chef tells me we are all out of hatchets. 1.2754 0.07117 69 55 9 5
2061 I’m just looking to settle down, how about you? 1.2754 0.07117 69 55 9 5
2062 Can you start up the chainsaw for me? 1.2750 0.05893 80 61 16 3
2063 My life is a circus right now. 1.2750 0.05618 80 60 18 2
2064 Please wear a mask" 1.2750 0.06156 80 62 14 4
2065 Go ahead, I don't need a pad. I can remember your order as well. 1.2747 0.05861 91 71 15 5
2066 Just practicing for my future career once the kids go off to college. 1.2742 0.06573 62 47 13 2
2067 Why should males have all the courtship rituals? 1.2742 0.06963 62 48 11 3
2068 It's OK. I did my own research, so I know I'm safe. 1.2742 0.07333 62 49 9 4
2069 This is a tough sobriety test. 1.2742 0.06573 62 47 13 2
2070 'Good thing the glass is half-empty' 1.2742 0.06963 62 48 11 3
2071 I usually get my tips for leaving 1.2740 0.05936 73 55 16 2
2072 But honey, didn't we agree that cobras bring in the cash — could you juggle a fourth? 1.2740 0.06830 73 58 10 5
2073 And if I like you, you can replace the bowling ball 1.2740 0.06546 73 57 12 4
2074 The daily specials are grilled sawfish, roasted meatballs, and flaming sausages. 1.2740 0.06546 73 57 12 4
2075 Are you always this nervous on a first date? 1.2740 0.06546 73 57 12 4
2076 You should see what I can do with two balls. 1.2740 0.06546 73 57 12 4
2077 Darn! I broke a nail! 1.2740 0.05936 73 55 16 2
2078 I have 3 jobs, where do you work? 1.2740 0.06248 73 56 14 3
2079 They said this would be a five scar experience 1.2740 0.06248 73 56 14 3
2080 You know, the usual. 1.2740 0.05936 73 55 16 2
2081 Ok, so now what's YOUR top reason most of your first dates don't go well? 1.2738 0.06189 84 66 13 5
2082 No one should eat alone. 1.2738 0.05706 84 64 17 3
2083 I can see you're more of a risk taker on a first date. 1.2738 0.05706 84 64 17 3
2084 The first and last time Mary performed her “abstract of our marriage” routine 1.2737 0.05687 95 74 16 5
2085 I’m trying to get the waiter’s attention. 1.2727 0.05535 88 67 18 3
2086 I haven't missed in days. 1.2727 0.05931 66 49 16 1
2087 They can't find waiters, but juggling unicyclists are a dime a dozen. 1.2727 0.07012 66 52 10 4
2088 I meant career and children. 1.2727 0.06306 77 60 13 4
2089 Wait until you see my sword swallowing skills 1.2727 0.07337 66 53 8 5
2090 But having a child? I don't think so. 1.2727 0.06671 66 51 12 3
2091 Why are you so surprised? My profile says I can juggle a lot of things at once. 1.2727 0.07012 66 52 10 4
2092 We also have milder menu items if you prefer something less spicy. 1.2727 0.06061 55 40 15 0
2093 It's not nearly as dangerous as dining here without a mask. 1.2727 0.06306 77 60 13 4
2094 Cirque du Soleil said no and Cirque la table said yes 1.2727 0.05535 88 67 18 3
2095 I feel like the only thing I DON’T have to do in this relationship is jump through hoops. 1.2727 0.07337 66 53 8 5
2096 This is how I prepare for balancing marriage, children and my career. 1.2727 0.05888 99 79 13 7
2097 Our relationship hangs in the balance. If I drop the flame, its fired up. If I drop the blade, its severed. If I drop the ball, its your choice. 1.2727 0.05739 77 58 17 2
2098 Maybe I should move my drink. 1.2727 0.06671 66 51 12 3
2099 Tenderize, sear and cut your steak. I do it all. 1.2727 0.07337 66 53 8 5
2100 If I'm careful, you'll only feel it in your wallet. 1.2727 0.06671 66 51 12 3
2101 This type of juggling is more satisfying as it requires less balls. 1.2727 0.06671 66 51 12 3
2102 I'm still just working as a server but haven't settled on a career yet. 1.2727 0.06306 77 60 13 4
2103 Sooo what are your quarantine hobbies? 1.2727 0.06827 77 62 9 6
2104 Millennial retirement options. 1.2727 0.06312 66 50 14 2
2105 Now pass me the tablecloth 1.2717 0.05150 92 69 21 2
2106 I can't wait 'till we're doing lap dances again either. 1.2717 0.06007 92 73 13 6
2107 Now comes the tricky part! 1.2716 0.05559 81 61 18 2
2108 The category is movie titles. 1.2716 0.06337 81 64 12 5
2109 When I’m not lumberjacking, bowling or chasing off Frankenstein, I occasionally like to unicycle on tabletops. Also, did I mention I can suck a golfball through a garden hose? 1.2716 0.06089 81 63 14 4
2110 Now, if you’ll just hand me your glass… 1.2716 0.06337 81 64 12 5
2111 Are you ADD? 1.2716 0.05830 81 62 16 3
2112 I'm also generating electricity with this wheel! 1.2716 0.06089 81 63 14 4
2113 My therapist says I need to work on my work-life balance. 1.2714 0.06410 70 54 13 3
2114 Bruce, tell me about your hobbies 1.2714 0.06410 70 54 13 3
2115 And this is my interpretation of dating in one's thirties. 1.2714 0.06725 70 55 11 4
2116 They call it 'Serve Du Soleil.' 1.2714 0.06725 70 55 11 4
2117 And did I mention I have a four year old and a very demanding job? 1.2714 0.06725 70 55 11 4
2118 NOW will you marry me? 1.2714 0.06078 70 53 15 2
2119 Brad, we have to talk. I can’t juggle this all by myself. 1.2714 0.06410 70 54 13 3
2120 ...and the chainsaw represents your mother. 1.2714 0.06725 70 55 11 4
2121 And imagine what I can do in the bedroom. 1.2714 0.06725 70 55 11 4
2122 Just figured I would get a jumpstart on your Mother's visit 1.2714 0.06078 70 53 15 2
2123 Still easier than understanding covid regulations. 1.2714 0.06078 70 53 15 2
2124 After teaching during COVID I just really wanted a challenge 1.2714 0.07315 70 57 7 6
2125 My last relationship was a real circus. 1.2714 0.06725 70 55 11 4
2126 The cat didn’t fair too well, but I think I have it down. 1.2714 0.06410 70 54 13 3
2127 I’ll be here all night folks! But you may not be. 1.2712 0.06318 59 44 14 1
2128 Is that it? 1.2712 0.07580 59 47 8 4
2129 Don't worry. I have a Ph.D. in English lit. This is just a side job. 1.2712 0.07184 59 46 10 3
2130 You might want to move to another table... 1.2712 0.07580 59 47 8 4
2131 Why didn't you just tell me you were busy? I would have gladly made the reservation. 1.2712 0.06765 59 45 12 2
2132 My Mother fixed us up, right. 1.2706 0.05891 85 66 15 4
2133 But I really want to know, what are your interests? 1.2706 0.05648 85 65 17 3
2134 Do you have a menu? 1.2706 0.06124 85 67 13 5
2135 When did you learn how to ride a unicycle? 1.2706 0.06348 85 68 11 6
2136 This way we don't need small talk 1.2706 0.05394 85 64 19 2
2137 Eating indoors wasn't risky enough, babe. 1.2706 0.05648 85 65 17 3
2138 I’ll have to juggle some things around, but I think I can fit you in for dinner. 1.2703 0.06467 74 58 12 4
2139 I love when low brow and high brow dinning blend together. 1.2703 0.05867 74 56 16 2
2140 When? I have a lot of things going on these days. 1.2703 0.05867 74 56 16 2
2141 I was going to take up the guitar. 1.2703 0.06174 74 57 14 3
2142 A great meal is all about the presentation.” 1.2703 0.06174 74 57 14 3
2143 You mentioned your divorce. Was that hard? 1.2703 0.05543 74 55 18 1
2144 Starting wage is only $12.50 for waitstaff, but the signing bonus, insurance, and 401k match are totally worth it 1.2703 0.05867 74 56 16 2
2145 Teaching in 2021 1.2703 0.06467 74 58 12 4
2146 I also learned how to use a sourdough starter. What have you been up to? 1.2703 0.06747 74 59 10 5
2147 …and those are today’s specials. Don’t worry about tipping - I already get almost $3 an hour to be your server, healthcare tracer, therapist and object of affection. 1.2703 0.06467 74 58 12 4
2148 This gets a lot easier after you've been married a few times. 1.2698 0.06482 63 48 13 2
2149 - It´s really easy without the mask 1.2698 0.06482 63 48 13 2
2150 Damn! Your waitressing test is a bitch! 1.2698 0.07906 63 52 5 6
2151 I do this naked on my only fans 1.2698 0.06482 63 48 13 2
2152 I tried a fidget spinner... 1.2698 0.06866 63 49 11 3
2153 I think the waiter has finally noticed us. 1.2698 0.06866 63 49 11 3
2154 I call this one The Fragile Male Ego. 1.2698 0.07229 63 50 9 4
2155 don't worry, I'll make sure no one gets within 6 feet of us 1.2698 0.07229 63 50 9 4
2156 Despite Debbie's impressive deflection skills, Dan STILL noticed the pimple on her nose. 1.2698 0.06866 63 49 11 3
2157 I was gonna give you 20% anyway 1.2698 0.06482 63 48 13 2
2158 I minored in Philosophy. 1.2698 0.06866 63 49 11 3
2159 If you help me, I'll have time to make dinner 1.2698 0.06074 63 47 15 1
2160 This is easy. Juggling motherhood and a career, that's hard! 1.2698 0.06866 63 49 11 3
2161 I was being polite when I asked, 'What do you do for fun.' 1.2698 0.06482 63 48 13 2
2162 Sorry, I just don’t have time to juggle a relationship right now. 1.2698 0.06482 63 48 13 2
2163 Once upon a time, a simple dinner was enough! 1.2698 0.06482 63 48 13 2
2164 Would you like to hear today's specials? 1.2697 0.06543 89 73 8 8
2165 Learned it online. There was nothing else to do. 1.2692 0.05962 78 60 15 3
2166 Besides this, I got an A- in Econometrics at Yale last semester. 1.2692 0.06235 78 61 13 4
2167 Juggling life while living close to the edge 1.2692 0.05962 78 60 15 3
2168 Yes, of course I would love to hear your uninformed opinion about juggling as a modern profession. Do tell. 1.2692 0.07823 52 41 8 3
2169 How about a ham and sliced cheese sandwich! 1.2692 0.07823 52 41 8 3
2170 So, my therapist said: "you need to step out of your comfort zone" 1.2687 0.06918 67 53 10 4
2171 The last time I slipped, I took a guy’s arm off. So now I only cycle on tablecloths. 1.2687 0.06230 67 51 14 2
2172 See? I told you it was better than sex. 1.2687 0.06230 67 51 14 2
2173 This is me overcompensating. 1.2687 0.06230 67 51 14 2
2174 I’m just saying, women are every bit as capable as men, maybe even more so! 1.2687 0.06918 67 53 10 4
2175 The chef just quit and I'm supposed to entertain you until we find a replacement 1.2687 0.06230 67 51 14 2
2176 Is there any wine left? 1.2687 0.07238 67 54 8 5
2177 If you like this, then you'll love the play I've been writing. 1.2687 0.06918 67 53 10 4
2178 So this is what you meant when you said you’re always juggling things. 1.2687 0.06230 67 51 14 2
2179 But what I’m really passionate about is marketing. 1.2687 0.05856 67 50 16 1
2180 No, please tell me more about your frat days, Steve. 1.2687 0.06918 67 53 10 4
2181 I think you misheard me Janet, I wanted to try something more risqué 1.2687 0.06583 67 52 12 3
2182 I agree, most dating app profiles don’t let you include a lot of information about yourself 1.2687 0.07238 67 54 8 5
2183 Honey pick one to die with 1.2687 0.06230 67 51 14 2
2184 Indoor dining again does have challenges 1.2683 0.05501 82 62 18 2
2185 I hope you're not intimidated by girls that fool around on the first date. 1.2683 0.06504 82 66 10 6
2186 Impress your first date with dinner and a show 1.2683 0.06268 82 65 12 5
2187 Tell me again how you managed to run the dishwasher? 1.2683 0.06268 82 65 12 5
2188 My mom said I'd never get a job with an English degree. Wait till she sees this! 1.2683 0.05501 82 62 18 2
2189 Look ma, no man! 1.2683 0.06023 82 64 14 4
2190 I forgot to mention this in my Tinder profile 1.2683 0.06268 82 65 12 5
2191 Go on—you have my full, divided attention. 1.2679 0.06974 56 43 11 2
2192 time to die white boy!!!! 1.2679 0.08254 56 46 5 5
2193 I have nothing to add, Billy 1.2679 0.07425 56 44 9 3
2194 Ok, hop in here. 1.2676 0.06330 71 55 13 3
2195 Look. I'd make a great mother. 1.2676 0.05659 71 53 17 1
2196 So what do you for pleasure? 1.2676 0.06330 71 55 13 3
2197 Yeah, I juggle a job, an ex and a 5 yr/old 1.2676 0.06937 71 57 9 5
2198 If you've got the bread, I've got the circus. 1.2676 0.06640 71 56 11 4
2199 I'd drop everything to be with you. 1.2676 0.06937 71 57 9 5
2200 And this is just what I did at work before noon, Sweetie... 1.2676 0.06330 71 55 13 3
2201 I wonder if she’s vaccinated? 1.2676 0.06004 71 54 15 2
2202 This is how I relax after juggling work, kids and marriage all day. 1.2674 0.05830 86 67 15 4
2203 I’m not vaccinated either. mary ann pettorini 1.2674 0.06060 86 68 13 5
2204 Could you pass the salt, babe? 1.2674 0.05591 86 66 17 3
2205 So yes, I’ll be able to stay on top of things while juggling career and family, no problem... 1.2667 0.06102 75 58 14 3
2206 Compared to housework, the kids, and my job, this is easy. 1.2667 0.06667 60 46 12 2
2207 Glad it’s not a lap dance. 1.2667 0.06102 75 58 14 3
2208 Want to play chainsaw fire ball? 1.2667 0.06667 75 60 10 5
2209 Not only that, I'm high as a kite on crystal meth! 1.2667 0.07078 60 47 10 3
2210 Wanna play? It’s kinda like rock, paper, scissors. Or, you can offer to pay for my dinner. 1.2667 0.06102 75 58 14 3
2211 Yeah. You choose not to vaccinate or wear a mask. So this is my choice, Bob. 1.2667 0.06102 75 58 14 3
2212 Well, she seems nice...but ever since that situation with Mary, Donna, and Susan, I've tried to stay away from juggling women. 1.2667 0.06667 60 46 12 2
2213 Do you get nervous on first dates too? 1.2667 0.06102 75 58 14 3
2214 So,what do you do for a living? 1.2667 0.05480 75 56 18 1
2215 We need to talk about logistics before next week. 1.2667 0.06667 75 60 10 5
2216 See? The lockdown wasn't all bad. I used it to perfect my act! 1.2667 0.05799 75 57 16 2
2217 I work with a bunch of clowns 1.2667 0.06102 75 58 14 3
2218 ...and after THAT, I finished nursing little Charlie, changed him for the third time this, finally got him to nap in time for the nanny to arrive, and made my Board of Directors meeting in the nick of time! And you? 1.2667 0.07835 60 49 6 5
2219 I never do this on the first date. 1.2667 0.05799 75 57 16 2
2220 And, can you believe it, we have no cover charge. 1.2667 0.05653 90 70 16 4
2221 One drawback: If I slip, I usually don’t get a tip. 1.2667 0.06932 75 61 8 6
2222 Just when you thought it was safe to dine out. 1.2667 0.06667 60 46 12 2
2223 They say I’m too intelligent to find a mate, so I’m dumbing it down for you. 1.2667 0.07078 60 47 10 3
2224 This is what motherhood means to me…So, you still want to have kids? 1.2667 0.05940 105 86 10 9
2225 The things we do for love 1.2667 0.06229 60 45 14 1
2226 You really undersold the juggling part on your dating profile. 1.2667 0.07078 60 47 10 3
2227 This should assuage any concerns you may have if I can also juggle work, marriage and motherhood. 1.2660 0.05892 94 75 13 6
2228 You thought I wouldn't 'make a scene'. huh? 1.2658 0.05614 79 60 17 2
2229 Staff have been developing new entertainment during the Covid shut down. 1.2658 0.05896 79 61 15 3
2230 After home schooling three kids during the pandemic, this is nothing 1.2658 0.05896 79 61 15 3
2231 I'm also very fertile. 1.2658 0.06909 79 65 7 7
2232 'From my juggling to your jugular' 1.2658 0.05614 79 60 17 2
2233 But your profile said you loved living dangerously. 1.2656 0.06394 64 49 13 2
2234 You know not wearing a mask is risky behavior. 1.2656 0.06771 64 50 11 3
2235 I'll have what she's having. 1.2656 0.06771 64 50 11 3
2236 "I'm looking for excitement. So what is it you do?" 1.2656 0.06394 64 49 13 2
2237 I'd love to have a drink with you, but my hands are full at the moment. 1.2656 0.07468 64 52 7 5
2238 Well I’m glad you could make it tonight, I know you’re juggling a lot. 1.2656 0.07468 64 52 7 5
2239 But enough about me, what do you do? 1.2656 0.05994 64 48 15 1
2240 According to the CDC, this is safer than dining indoors without a mask. 1.2656 0.06771 64 50 11 3
2241 If this doesn’t make you swipe right, I don’t know what will. 1.2656 0.06771 64 50 11 3
2242 BALL and CHAIN, Honey!! " Can you MATCH that?? 1.2653 0.05340 98 76 18 4
2243 Have you finished with your glass? 1.2651 0.05707 83 64 16 3
2244 Tomorrow I'm going to add the kitchen sink. 1.2651 0.05707 83 64 16 3
2245 Of course I can get you a cup of coffee. I am a mom during Covid! 1.2651 0.06433 83 67 10 6
2246 This is so much easier than being a mom during a pandemic. 1.2647 0.05383 102 80 17 5
2247 The Center for Disease Control and Prevention recommends wearing masks when dining out. 1.2647 0.06498 68 53 12 3
2248 I wanted to make good use of my time! 1.2647 0.06827 68 54 10 4
2249 I'm personally insecure, so I lead with my hobbies. 1.2647 0.06151 68 52 14 2
2250 I don't watch movies. 1.2647 0.06498 68 53 12 3
2251 I like to stay active. 1.2647 0.07141 68 55 8 5
2252 First dates are so revealing. 1.2647 0.06151 68 52 14 2
2253 If you think THIS is impressive, you should see me juggle work and family and friends and exercise and me time 1.2647 0.06827 68 54 10 4
2254 Oooh, You juggle. 1.2647 0.06151 68 52 14 2
2255 If you will help me around the house, dear, I promise to stop multitasking! 1.2644 0.05535 87 67 17 3
2256 For my next trick,I will avoid Covid without the use of masks or vaccines 1.2644 0.05998 87 69 13 5
2257 Well is it yes or no, will you marry me?" 1.2639 0.05932 72 55 15 2
2258 I like to dazzle on the first date. 1.2639 0.06253 72 56 13 3
2259 What did you expect for a 3 dollar cover charge? 1.2639 0.06253 72 56 13 3
2260 Now, carefully, toss me your glass there. 1.2639 0.06558 72 57 11 4
2261 There is a reason we're called the Last Supper Inn. 1.2639 0.05932 72 55 15 2
2262 I was once diagnosed with ADD but I don’t see it 1.2639 0.05932 72 55 15 2
2263 I don’t want to go blind on this date 1.2639 0.05932 72 55 15 2
2264 And I can watch TV without scrolling on my phone. 1.2637 0.05813 91 72 14 5
2265 I'm always nervous on a first date. 1.2637 0.05599 91 71 16 4
2266 Every day she gets a little bit more like her mother. 1.2632 0.07726 57 46 7 4
2267 Given what they've added recently, this could be a competitive event in Paris, 2024. 1.2632 0.06395 57 43 13 1
2268 Since you don't seem to think my excellent credit rating, diversified portfolio, and IQ higher than my weight are good enough ... 1.2632 0.06316 76 60 12 4
2269 Absolutely, I'm ready to start a family. 1.2632 0.06316 76 60 12 4
2270 Much later, Al realized that the Assertiveness Trainer said "go for the jugular". 1.2632 0.07726 57 46 7 4
2271 This is my idea of the perfect work-life balance! 1.2632 0.06316 76 60 12 4
2272 Why do you believe you're the right fit for this position? 1.2632 0.05733 76 58 16 2
2273 I told you I'm juggling a lot right now 1.2632 0.06395 57 43 13 1
2274 You order. I have trouble making a decision. 1.2632 0.06588 76 61 10 5
2275 Wait until you see me do it backwards and in high heels. 1.2632 0.05419 76 57 18 1
2276 If you catch one, it’s yours to keep. 1.2632 0.06588 76 61 10 5
2277 What did you learn during lock down? 1.2632 0.06849 76 62 8 6
2278 Did I mention I am also a member of Mensa. 1.2632 0.05733 76 58 16 2
2279 You might want to scoot back a bit. 1.2632 0.06395 57 43 13 1
2280 This should tell you that I, as a wife, won't struggle with juggling between work and family. 1.2632 0.05439 95 74 17 4
2281 Yes, that's incredibly impressive - but I just asked for more water 1.2632 0.06316 76 60 12 4
2282 Honey, I didn’t know this is what you meant when you said you’re juggling so many things at once 1.2632 0.05884 57 42 15 0
2283 Now do you think I’m better fit for the job than Jerry? 1.2632 0.06316 76 60 12 4
2284 The name is “Jackie of all trades”! 1.2632 0.06867 57 44 11 2
2285 By not wearing a mask you're putting yourself in grave danger. 1.2625 0.05831 80 62 15 3
2286 Juggling your kids was too easy,so I traded them in. 1.2625 0.06096 80 63 13 4
2287 Sarah...I'm seeing other people. 1.2625 0.06096 80 63 13 4
2288 Too much for a first date? 1.2625 0.05553 80 61 17 2
2289 Have I been watching TikTok? Why do you ask? 1.2623 0.06571 61 47 12 2
2290 This is a lot easier than juggling my three boyfriends! 1.2623 0.06571 61 47 12 2
2291 Don't worry, it's a rubber ball. 1.2623 0.06141 61 46 14 1
2292 Going for that second date. 1.2623 0.06571 61 47 12 2
2293 Coffee? Do I look like I need coffee? 1.2623 0.06974 61 48 10 3
2294 I wasn’t aware we were meant to show off our skills… 1.2623 0.06571 61 47 12 2
2295 I started with a tricycle and worked my way down one wheel at a time. 1.2623 0.07356 61 49 8 4
2296 This is a bit awkward, Sarah. What I said was, “would you be willing to snuggle with me on our date tonight?” 1.2623 0.07718 61 50 6 5
2297 To answer your question, this is why I brought a chainsaw. 1.2623 0.07356 61 49 8 4
2298 This is me ordering the tableside special. 1.2623 0.06571 61 47 12 2
2299 I have to juggle so many things while you just sit there and don't help. 1.2623 0.06571 61 47 12 2
2300 Please don’t make a scene. 1.2623 0.06141 61 46 14 1
2301 You really should be wearing a mask while doing that. 1.2623 0.06141 61 46 14 1
2302 Order me something light. 1.2619 0.05388 84 64 18 2
2303 I'm not usually this manipulative. 1.2619 0.05896 84 66 14 4
2304 Children, career, housewife...piece of cake! 1.2619 0.05388 84 64 18 2
2305 Yeah, but I only won a bronze. 1.2615 0.06678 65 51 11 3
2306 The singer waiters were banned due to Covid 1.2615 0.06678 65 51 11 3
2307 ...And best of all,I don't check my phone at the table anymore. 1.2615 0.06308 65 50 13 2
2308 Okay. Now sing the national anthem backwards. 1.2615 0.07363 65 53 7 5
2309 I'm busy multi-tasking, Kevin. YOU go make dinner, feed the kids, feed the cat and dog, do the laundry and clean the house. 1.2615 0.07029 65 52 9 4
2310 I learned a lot of new skills during quarantine. But enough about me… 1.2615 0.06308 65 50 13 2
2311 I know you requested a table dance but don't you find this far more entertaining? 1.2615 0.06308 65 50 13 2
2312 Now your turn, Truth or Dare? 1.2615 0.05915 65 49 15 1
2313 I don’t see this going anywhere 1.2615 0.05915 65 49 15 1
2314 Can you ask the server for a knife? 1.2615 0.05915 65 49 15 1
2315 And this kids is the story of how I met your mother 1.2615 0.06308 65 50 13 2
2316 You don't need to prove yourself to me dear, I know ypu are a multasker 1.2615 0.06308 65 50 13 2
2317 ‘Okay quick, throw me a kid’ 1.2615 0.05915 65 49 15 1
2318 Is it possible to just get a hamburger? 1.2614 0.05713 88 69 15 4
2319 Could you pass the salt? 1.2614 0.05713 88 69 15 4
2320 Swipe right already. 1.2609 0.06073 69 53 14 2
2321 Toss me the glass on the count of three. Careful not to extinguish the torch. 1.2609 0.06414 69 54 12 3
2322 Wish you had swiped left? 1.2609 0.07048 69 56 8 5
2323 Remember: light before ball except only after saw. Now, repeat after me.. 1.2609 0.05711 69 52 16 1
2324 You said you wanted the special? 1.2609 0.06073 69 53 14 2
2325 All selected to go with the Khachaturian soundtrack. 1.2609 0.06414 69 54 12 3
2326 What else can you do? 1.2609 0.06414 69 54 12 3
2327 Welcome to Cirque du diner! 1.2609 0.06073 69 53 14 2
2328 You said you wanted a magical evening. 1.2609 0.06414 69 54 12 3
2329 ‘Honey, that’s not what I meant when I said “get the waiter’s attention”.’ 1.2609 0.06073 69 53 14 2
2330 So I've been hearing lately that rather than food, the most important in restaurants is the experience 1.2609 0.05096 92 70 20 2
2331 Are you sure this is the way we used to date before the pandemics? 1.2609 0.05711 69 52 16 1
2332 ‘Yes dear, but why aren’t you wearing that dress I like?’ 1.2609 0.06414 69 54 12 3
2333 Beth, the vaccine only protects you from covid 1.2609 0.06414 69 54 12 3
2334 Let’s play 2020! 1.2604 0.05589 96 76 15 5
2335 My latest review said I need to take more chances. 1.2603 0.05861 73 56 15 2
2336 I trust that you will never again complain about my small talk. 1.2603 0.07041 73 60 7 6
2337 And by the way, honey, I'm pregnant." 1.2603 0.06765 73 59 9 5
2338 I told you I was an entertaining date." 1.2603 0.06177 73 57 13 3
2339 All my decisions are up in the air. 1.2603 0.06478 73 58 11 4
2340 First date: “So what grade do you teach?” 1.2603 0.05861 73 56 15 2
2341 So I’m thinking I can handle this delta variant after all 1.2603 0.05527 73 55 17 1
2342 My dad says I overcompensate for not being an ivy league graduate. Mom just says:" You go, girl.' Uh....Do you ever find yourself going too far to impress people you are meeting for the first time? 1.2597 0.05669 77 59 16 2
2343 Sorry just some first date jitters 1.2597 0.06511 77 62 10 5
2344 I figure if we can gamble on masks .. 1.2597 0.06768 77 63 8 6
2345 Now hand me the kids. 1.2597 0.07016 77 64 6 7
2346 Yes I can juggle everything,but I need your help! 1.2597 0.05030 77 57 20 0
2347 What? I wrote on the dating app that I'm good at multitasking. 1.2597 0.05963 77 60 14 3
2348 I think I’m ready for some small plates. 1.2597 0.05669 77 59 16 2
2349 First dates are so awkward. 1.2597 0.06243 77 61 12 4
2350 I said ‘jugular’ not ‘juggler.’ 1.2597 0.06511 77 62 10 5
2351 This is easy compared to being a working mom. 1.2593 0.05493 81 62 17 2
2352 Why? I’ve been to this establishment before. First, we have to get the waiter’s attention. Next, we’ll need the torch to reheat the cold steaks served, the bowling ball to tenderize them, and the chain saw for slicing." 1.2593 0.05493 81 62 17 2
2353 Please bear with us, the cook's running a tad late today. 1.2593 0.05768 81 63 15 3
2354 Are you ready for a hand off? 1.2593 0.07086 54 42 10 2
2355 Now throw me your testicles. 1.2593 0.06280 81 65 11 5
2356 For the last time, I wasn’t calling you lazy, Susan. 1.2593 0.07086 54 42 10 2
2357 Still less stressful than being a mother! 1.2593 0.06521 81 66 9 6
2358 This is no more dangerous than the two day old shrimp cocktail you just ordered. 1.2586 0.07196 58 46 9 3
2359 Honey, I’m sure the waiter knows we’re waiting for our check. 1.2586 0.07196 58 46 9 3
2360 The trick is to not take your eye off the ball. 1.2586 0.07196 58 46 9 3
2361 OK...here's the deal, you slowly reach under the table cloth, grasp it firmly, and as you stand and kick the chair from beneath you, pull it from the table, leaving me still astride the unicycle. 1.2586 0.06300 58 44 13 1
2362 You're Right -- Maybe you should drive home. 1.2586 0.07196 58 46 9 3
2363 I know what you're thinking: Thumbs up for the multi-tasking but the choice of objects spells "pre-nup". 1.2586 0.06763 58 45 11 2
2364 What's this, some kind of metaphore? 1.2586 0.06763 58 45 11 2
2365 Whatever it takes to keep you from looking at your phone. 1.2581 0.07249 62 50 8 4
2366 Just wait until the second date! 1.2581 0.06874 62 49 10 3
2367 Remember when these were considered the dangers in life 1.2581 0.05603 62 46 16 0
2368 No worries--The phone goes to voicemail unless the babysitter thinks it's an emergency. 1.2581 0.06478 62 48 12 2
2369 I'll have the tossed salad. 1.2581 0.06478 62 48 12 2
2370 Children? Job? Your parents? Shopping? Cooking? Laundry? I do this for relaxation! 1.2581 0.06056 62 47 14 1
2371 I started with online ukulele lessons. 1.2581 0.06874 62 49 10 3
2372 I have the well- balanced part but not yet the meal. 1.2581 0.05603 62 46 16 0
2373 No, I can't do it while chewing gum. 1.2581 0.06478 62 48 12 2
2374 I've dated a lot of clowns. 1.2581 0.07249 62 50 8 4
2375 Oh, you're a gig worker, huh? 1.2581 0.06478 62 48 12 2
2376 How is the chainsaw prepared? 1.2581 0.07605 62 51 6 5
2377 So what did you learn during the lockdown? 1.2576 0.05424 66 49 17 0
2378 The food is so-so, but I'm definitely a competent server. 1.2576 0.05838 66 50 15 1
2379 I usually don't do this on the first date. 1.2576 0.06933 66 53 9 4
2380 And for my next trick... I’ll earn over 84% of what you earn! 1.2576 0.06224 66 51 13 2
2381 With the dating market getting more competitive, it's important to showcase your talents. 1.2576 0.06224 66 51 13 2
2382 I mean, jump in here anytime. I just hate awkward silences. 1.2576 0.06588 66 52 11 3
2383 This is how I am practicing to be a mother! 1.2576 0.06933 66 53 9 4
2384 God! It feels so good doing this inside a restaurant again WITHOUT a mask! 1.2576 0.06933 66 53 9 4
2385 ... and I call this trick "Single Mom raising 3 kids while trying to date." 1.2576 0.06588 66 52 11 3
2386 And...Next...With...A...Blindfold... 1.2576 0.06224 66 51 13 2
2387 Not what I had in mind when I requested a table dance,but exotic. 1.2576 0.06588 66 52 11 3
2388 Just warming up for being a mother. 1.2576 0.06224 66 51 13 2
2389 Multi-tasking is my specialty! Now, toss me that glass. 1.2576 0.05424 66 49 17 0
2390 Just so you know, I have it all. 1.2576 0.05838 66 50 15 1
2391 If I am the saw and our little Judy is the bowling ball then who is the hot flame? 1.2576 0.05838 66 50 15 1
2392 When you show me you can do this, I’ll respond to your request. 1.2576 0.05838 66 50 15 1
2393 In short,no, I don’t want kids. 1.2576 0.06588 66 52 11 3
2394 2020 has really helped me discover my inner risk taker 1.2576 0.06224 66 51 13 2
2395 Here’s a little preview of 2022 1.2576 0.05838 66 50 15 1
2396 On a first date, I always like to show that I can juggle more than just a job and a relationship. 1.2574 0.05006 101 78 20 3
2397 Well done honey but is that our neighbors chainsaw???? 1.2571 0.06333 70 55 12 3
2398 If I'd known you were such a bore, I would have swiped left." Elizabeth Schaefer, Evanston, I 1.2571 0.05997 70 54 14 2
2399 You think this is dangerous, try flying in a commercial jetliner! 1.2571 0.05997 70 54 14 2
2400 Now slip me the glass of water. 1.2571 0.06333 70 55 12 3
2401 All this and you’ll still mansplain me! 1.2571 0.06333 70 55 12 3
2402 Sorry, it seems there has been a mistake... I actually ordered a bearded woman 1.2571 0.06652 70 56 10 4
2403 I’m concerned about you. 1.2571 0.05997 70 54 14 2
2404 I swear I’ve never done this before. 1.2571 0.06956 70 57 8 5
2405 This should get the waitress's attention. 1.2568 0.05792 74 57 15 2
2406 I’m also a Vassar grad, played the tuba in HS, and love long walks on the beach. Second date? 1.2568 0.05792 74 57 15 2
2407 This concludes the entertainment portion of the evening. Now if you'll kindly give me about 15 more minutes,I'll run into the kitchen and see what I can whip up! 1.2568 0.05792 74 57 15 2
2408 I tried dancing in heels and backward, but this is more fun. 1.2568 0.05792 74 57 15 2
2409 Nice, honey. What’s for dinner? 1.2568 0.06399 74 59 11 4
2410 Now do you believe my Bumble profile photo? 1.2568 0.05792 74 57 15 2
2411 It's not bragging if you can do it! 1.2568 0.05463 74 56 17 1
2412 Can you hand me the glass? 1.2568 0.06399 74 59 11 4
2413 Next you'll have me jumping through hoops. 1.2568 0.05792 74 57 15 2
2414 Pardon, but do you have any lithium? 1.2568 0.06399 74 59 11 4
2415 But the real challenge these days is work and social life. 1.2568 0.06103 74 58 13 3
2416 And this isn't even my weirdest date 1.2568 0.05792 74 57 15 2
2417 So I thought, I’m not going to let 2020 go to waste. 1.2568 0.06682 74 60 9 5
2418 Being a white man is ALSO hard these days. Cant do anything right. 1.2568 0.06399 74 59 11 4
2419 The blindfolds will be five dollars extra 1.2568 0.06103 74 58 13 3
2420 PETA made me stop using cats. 1.2564 0.06435 78 63 10 5
2421 So kids, a house and a job would be no problem. 1.2564 0.06689 78 64 8 6
2422 She was determined. She just wanted one date to not be about the pandemic. 1.2564 0.06435 78 63 10 5
2423 I ordered the creme brûlée 1.2564 0.05895 78 61 14 3
2424 nothing’s off the table 1.2564 0.05895 78 61 14 3
2425 Well, when you asked if I played sports... 1.2561 0.05151 82 62 19 1
2426 My therapist helped me to stop telling entertaining stories. 1.2561 0.05435 82 63 17 2
2427 I knew this was a blind date but I didn’t realize you were actually blind so you’re just gonna have to take my word for this but I’m literally 1.2558 0.05532 86 67 16 3
2428 Not what I had in mind for a first date. 1.2558 0.05532 86 67 16 3
2429 Hazard a guess as to which one is my career, my love life and my soul? 1.2556 0.05600 90 71 15 4
2430 OK OK you had me with a unicycle on a table… 1.2556 0.05819 90 72 13 5
2431 Does someone who can do this really need the vaccine? 1.2553 0.05440 94 74 16 4
2432 After juggling a family, career, marriage and now COVID, I realized it's really not that hard. 1.2549 0.06770 51 39 11 1
2433 You read my profile, right? 1.2549 0.07326 51 40 9 2
2434 Your personal ad said you preferred a SWF coordinated risk-taker. 1.2545 0.07439 55 44 8 3
2435 I was inspired by reading Nietsche and the Cat in the Hat at the same time 1.2545 0.06972 55 43 10 2
2436 To infinity and beyond but not any farther then that. 1.2545 0.06471 55 42 12 1
2437 You made your point. We can have a baby. 1.2545 0.08295 55 46 4 5
2438 How about this for multi-tasking? 1.2545 0.07879 55 45 6 4
2439 It usually works to get the waiter's attention. 1.2545 0.06972 55 43 10 2
2440 I'm saving the clown makeup for the second date. 1.2542 0.07488 59 48 7 4
2441 Everyone always assumes that I mean my life is so hectic when I mention my hobby. 1.2542 0.06662 59 46 11 2
2442 Can you order me the pecan salad when the waiter comes back? 1.2542 0.07087 59 47 9 3
2443 There must be a mistake. I ordered the caesar salad. 1.2542 0.07087 59 47 9 3
2444 My last boyfriend was a terrible catch. 1.2542 0.07087 59 47 9 3
2445 I learned this during the pandemic; it seemed safer than going out 1.2542 0.06662 59 46 11 2
2446 Making balloon animals wasn't very lucrative, so I decided to expand my repertoire. 1.2540 0.05973 63 48 14 1
2447 But I really want to direct. 1.2540 0.05973 63 48 14 1
2448 Then I call my boss, drop Billy off for soccer, pick Tai up from her piano lessons, write a grant request, pickup your medicine… 1.2540 0.06776 63 50 10 3
2449 Don’t look so surprised, I believe I mentioned my skills on my dating profile. 1.2540 0.06776 63 50 10 3
2450 I try to keep my tinder profile as interesting as possible. 1.2540 0.06776 63 50 10 3
2451 Life with you is certainly a circus 1.2540 0.06387 63 49 12 2
2452 Yes I have children! Does it show? 1.2540 0.07144 63 51 8 4
2453 This isn’t the tableside preparation you were expecting? 1.2540 0.06776 63 50 10 3
2454 It keeps me fit and is more exciting than yoga! 1.2540 0.06776 63 50 10 3
2455 Online dating is awful 1.2540 0.06387 63 49 12 2
2456 Fire has now been added to ball and chain.! 1.2540 0.06387 63 49 12 2
2457 My profile said that my whole life was one big juggling act. 1.2537 0.06143 67 52 13 2
2458 I'm here because you opted not to pay the premium cover charge for a "leave me alone" table. 1.2537 0.06143 67 52 13 2
2459 Make up your mind - or these specialty cakes are going to disintegrate! 1.2537 0.06143 67 52 13 2
2460 I know I can seem like a lot sometimes. 1.2537 0.06501 67 53 11 3
2461 It calms my nerves. 1.2537 0.05763 67 51 15 1
2462 The toast popped. I'll get it. 1.2537 0.06840 67 54 9 4
2463 Oh yeah, sure, males shouldn’t try this. 1.2537 0.06501 67 53 11 3
2464 And for my next act, I will cut your bill in half. 1.2537 0.06143 67 52 13 2
2465 Oh that's nothing. You should see me being a single mom during the pandemic. 1.2537 0.05763 67 51 15 1
2466 I'm still not sure. 1.2537 0.06143 67 52 13 2
2467 And this will be our life if I agree to marry you: I’ll be juggling everything at home while you just sit there. 1.2535 0.06254 71 56 12 3
2468 Isn't indoor dining risky enough? 1.2535 0.06254 71 56 12 3
2469 Do I have your attention? 1.2535 0.05573 71 54 16 1
2470 My last relationship? It’s complicated. 1.2535 0.06254 71 56 12 3
2471 What do you mean I look nothing like my tinder profile? 1.2535 0.05923 71 55 14 2
2472 OK! If I can do this for 15 more minutes without dropping one on you, we’ll get married in October” 1.2535 0.05923 71 55 14 2
2473 Now, picture some smoke and a few mirrors and you have the full gist of Gov. Cuomo’s legal defense. 1.2535 0.06567 71 57 10 4
2474 Karen is unvaccinated too, nothing will hurt her… 1.2535 0.06867 71 58 8 5
2475 My need for attention is exhausting. 1.2535 0.05573 71 54 16 1
2476 And I am working on adding a loaded gun 1.2535 0.06254 71 56 12 3
2477 When you said you were in college, I didn’t think you meant clown college. 1.2535 0.05923 71 55 14 2
2478 I'd say "yes", not only because of my talent but also I might kill you if you don't agree to marriage. 1.2533 0.06031 75 59 13 3
2479 Will you please mask up for my safety? 1.2533 0.06031 75 59 13 3
2480 What kind of juggling did you mean, then? 1.2533 0.06031 75 59 13 3
2481 But enough about what I've been doing during the pandemic. 1.2533 0.06323 75 60 11 4
2482 "First date jitters, I guess" 1.2533 0.05400 75 57 17 1
2483 After juggling parenting, marriage, and a career, this is a cinch! 1.2533 0.06323 75 60 11 4
2484 No problem. Enjoy your drink. I'm just fine doing this on my own. 1.2533 0.05724 75 58 15 2
2485 So tell me again about dating other women. 1.2533 0.06323 75 60 11 4
2486 See, I told you I had too much on my hands at the moment 1.2533 0.05724 75 58 15 2
2487 Wouldn’t a baby complete this picture? 1.2533 0.05724 75 58 15 2
2488 And I’m also ovulating in case you want kids sooner than later 1.2533 0.06031 75 59 13 3
2489 Yes, but can you fry an egg? 1.2532 0.06361 79 64 10 5
2490 My parents met speed dating too. They’re performers. Any siblings? 1.2532 0.06101 79 63 12 4
2491 But can you balance a chequebook? 1.2532 0.05829 79 62 14 3
2492 They’re gonna ask what I learned in quarantine! 1.2532 0.06361 79 64 10 5
2493 So, tell me about your hobbies? 1.2530 0.05378 83 64 17 2
2494 I used to be a press secretary. 1.2530 0.05378 83 64 17 2
2495 That was not what I meant when I questioned your skills at the table. 1.2530 0.05378 83 64 17 2
2496 Of course I can pick up the kids. 1.2530 0.05645 83 65 15 3
2497 I am still waiting for the menu to show up! 1.2530 0.05378 83 64 17 2
2498 My ex taught me this. 1.2530 0.05378 83 64 17 2
2499 I'm sorry, I feel like I've lost some of my entertaining skills during the lock-down... 1.2530 0.05899 83 66 13 4
2500 Final step for the cocktail coming up! 1.2500 0.05339 76 58 17 1
2501 I saw a couple at another table just staring at their phones. Pathetic, right? 1.2500 0.06682 64 51 10 3
2502 And you can purchase any of these items in our gift shop next door. 1.2500 0.06299 64 50 12 2
2503 I couldn't fit all this in on Tinder 1.2500 0.06176 72 57 12 3
2504 Why'd you swipe right? 1.2500 0.05764 80 63 14 3
2505 I’ve had a lot of time to practice over the last 16 months. 1.2500 0.05506 72 55 16 1
2506 I’ve had lots of time to practice this last year 1.2500 0.06682 64 51 10 3
2507 For your shelter in place dinner pre-show! 1.2500 0.05690 68 52 15 1
2508 My brother “Lefty” taught me how to juggle. 1.2500 0.05893 64 49 14 1
2509 I usually save this till the second date, but you're pretty special. 1.2500 0.05657 88 70 14 4
2510 You see. I AM good at multitasking. 1.2500 0.06981 60 48 9 3
2511 The new work-life balance. 1.2500 0.06176 72 57 12 3
2512 Please don't spill your drink. 1.2500 0.05658 76 59 15 2
2513 Did you pick up any new hobbies during lockdown? 1.2500 0.05455 64 48 16 0
2514 Martha Stewart made it look easier. 1.2500 0.05851 72 56 14 2
2515 Still, I only get paid half as much as the other jugglers. 1.2500 0.05690 68 52 15 1
2516 Oh, it’s just the latest exercise craze and I’ve never felt better! 1.2500 0.06861 56 44 10 2
2517 Don't make me carry the conversation too. 1.2500 0.07066 68 56 7 5
2518 I can jump through hoops too. 1.2500 0.06749 68 55 9 4
2519 I totally understand, but I still just wish you'd wear your helmet. 1.2500 0.06780 72 59 8 5
2520 I thought this was the non-smoking section. 1.2500 0.05270 92 72 17 3
2521 Actually, it's not any tougher than crosstown traffic. 1.2500 0.06063 68 53 13 2
2522 You really shouldn't drink diet soda. Your taking unnecessary risks with your health. 1.2500 0.05764 80 63 14 3
2523 I hate prop acts. I much prefer the mildly-amusing, non-threatening monologist on top of my table. 1.2500 0.05690 68 52 15 1
2524 This is NOT what I meant by a lap dance for my birthday! 1.2500 0.06682 64 51 10 3
2525 Sorry I was late. I’ve been juggling a lot lately. 1.2500 0.05893 64 49 14 1
2526 The last time I did this I got kicked out in the middle of the sermon. 1.2500 0.06176 72 57 12 3
2527 I told you it was difficult to get a table at this restaurant! 1.2500 0.06299 64 50 12 2
2528 My Mate must have balance, multitask, and love the thrill of risk. And be able to do that regardless of circumstance and convention. 1.2500 0.06861 56 44 10 2
2529 Anything for attention. 1.2500 0.06299 64 50 12 2
2530 Just the soup, thanks 1.2500 0.06063 68 53 13 2
2531 Waiter? Er, waiter?! WAITER!!! 1.2500 0.05492 92 73 15 4
2532 Most people put down, “A walk on the beach”. 1.2500 0.05893 64 49 14 1
2533 Now that the kids are asleep, let’s make a tiktok? 1.2500 0.06063 68 53 13 2
2534 Maybe YOU could do the damn dishes tonight. 1.2500 0.07201 52 41 9 2
2535 I think we should have a baby. 1.2500 0.07374 60 49 7 4
2536 I figure two weeks until the next shutdown, I'm doing everything. Throw me the jack hammer. 1.2500 0.06523 76 62 9 5
2537 After having to juggle my life as a working mother it's nice to do something relaxing 1.2500 0.06289 80 65 10 5
2538 I am going to need your help soon. Keep your eye on the chainsaw. 1.2500 0.06861 56 44 10 2
2539 No, no kids yet. I meant literally Juggling: a full time career. 1.2500 0.06033 80 64 12 4
2540 You know at some point you're going to have to accept that I just dont want to have sex with you anymore. 1.2500 0.06118 60 46 13 1
2541 This is really more exciting when the chain saw is working. 1.2500 0.06981 60 48 9 3
2542 I rarely drop more than one 1.2500 0.06563 60 47 11 2
2543 still safer than being unvaccinated 1.2500 0.06299 64 50 12 2
2544 The perfect murder. 1.2500 0.07387 64 53 6 5
2545 Empowered women who pierce my heart are my weakness 1.2500 0.06682 64 51 10 3
2546 What exactly do you mean when you say I make you uncomfortable? 1.2500 0.07748 60 50 5 5
2547 Our specials rotate daily. 1.2500 0.06682 64 51 10 3
2548 Sorry. I didn't mean to monopolize the conversation. 1.2500 0.06563 60 47 11 2
2549 So it's your first date. 1.2500 0.06682 64 51 10 3
2550 This was my distraction from living during the end times, but it isn't working lately so I thought Id try dating. 1.2500 0.06780 72 59 8 5
2551 I'm ALMOST ready for America's got talent. Toss me your glass. 1.2500 0.06749 68 55 9 4
2552 You're not what we had in mind for the job but i do like your energy level. 1.2500 0.06063 68 53 13 2
2553 Pretty impressive for a first date, eh? 1.2500 0.06780 72 59 8 5
2554 Honestly, when you said you did tricks for dinner, I thought you were a prostitute. 1.2500 0.07750 56 46 6 4
2555 It’s not an act. 1.2500 0.07066 68 56 7 5
2556 Now to complete the metaphor, pull the tablecloth at a speed and direction of your choice. 1.2500 0.06981 60 48 9 3
2557 Second dates are hard to come by. 1.2500 0.07374 60 49 7 4
2558 And you don't think I can juggle raising two kids and a job? 1.2500 0.06682 64 51 10 3
2559 Got any knives? 1.2500 0.05883 88 71 12 5
2560 It's a great way to relax after our couple therapy sessions." 1.2500 0.06861 56 44 10 2
2561 If our date goes well, I'll add you too. 1.2500 0.06248 76 61 11 4
2562 Should I throw in dinner, too? 1.2500 0.05851 72 56 14 2
2563 Getting to the table's the hard part. 1.2500 0.06861 56 44 10 2
2564 Was the chainsaw really necessary? 1.2500 0.05506 72 55 16 1
2565 So,did you register the kids for school today? 1.2500 0.05657 88 70 14 4
2566 I'll just have the club. 1.2500 0.05585 84 66 15 3
2567 I've also recently taken up quilting... 1.2500 0.05483 80 62 16 2
2568 And that is how I met your mother 1.2500 0.06981 60 48 9 3
2569 I heard you yank tablecloths!? 1.2500 0.06176 72 57 12 3
2570 I learned this trick trying to win my mother's love. It didn't work on her either. 1.2500 0.06299 64 50 12 2
2571 As you might've guessed, I've picked up a few new hobbies during the pandemic. 1.2500 0.06563 60 47 11 2
2572 Happy Anniversary! Your turn. 1.2500 0.06749 68 55 9 4
2573 I’m looking for someone who’s more available. Seems like you’re juggling too much at once. 1.2500 0.06415 68 54 11 3
2574 She wasn't lying in her Tinder bio after all. 1.2500 0.06033 80 64 12 4
2575 They say if I add a steak knife they’ll pay me minimum wage! 1.2500 0.06780 72 59 8 5
2576 Jim wondered if now was a good time to ask Sally a favour… 1.2500 0.05421 88 69 16 3
2577 Hey, when my sourdough starter died, I had to find something to keep me busy…. 1.2500 0.05960 76 60 13 3
2578 Ironically, I never made a sourdough starter. 1.2500 0.06415 68 54 11 3
2579 The sirloin tips will be sliced, tenderized, and seared to perfection - all in mid air 1.2500 0.07706 52 42 7 3
2580 But you’re so much better at juggling everything than I am 1.2500 0.06176 72 57 12 3
2581 by juggling all these things, maybe I can distract you from realizing I still refuse to wear a mask indoors! 1.2500 0.06415 68 54 11 3
2582 Most people think I am a Gemini but I am more of a Aquarius. 1.2500 0.08158 56 47 4 5
2583 You know, most people just lie on their profiles… 1.2500 0.06033 80 64 12 4
2584 Get the vaccine? Hell, no- too dangerous! 1.2500 0.06248 76 61 11 4
2585 Well…I guess I did say I liked dangerous women on my profile. 1.2500 0.06861 56 44 10 2
2586 Yes Derek, I would LOVE to hear about your golf trip. Could you pass me my gin & tonic? 1.2500 0.06861 56 44 10 2
2587 ... so you see, I never intended on becoming a street performer, but when my boss said we're no longer working from home, I needed to pick up some new skills.... How's this interview going? 1.2500 0.07591 48 38 8 2
2588 What have I been up to? Oh, just the usual… 1.2500 0.05657 88 70 14 4
2589 This is the most creative way I found to show you what it feels to deal with you. 1.2500 0.06485 72 58 10 4
2590 You see, none of the breakups was my fault 1.2500 0.06299 64 50 12 2
2591 I feel like this really prepares me for the daily news cycle. 1.2475 0.05341 101 81 15 5
2592 I double majored at clown college. 1.2472 0.05600 89 71 14 4
2593 Thanks honey, this night out is really helping me take my mind off things." (Edit as you please 1.2472 0.05367 89 70 16 3
2594 It was scarier with raw eggs. 1.2471 0.06462 85 71 7 7
2595 I won’t drop something big in your lap. 1.2471 0.06013 85 69 11 5
2596 Ready to order? 1.2469 0.05424 81 63 16 2
2597 Could you at least put a mask on? 1.2469 0.06219 81 66 10 5
2598 The thing that really stuck out on your dating profile for me was that you were a single man. 1.2469 0.05701 81 64 14 3
2599 Now why would you break up with me when I'm this amazing! 1.2468 0.05280 77 59 17 1
2600 Let me tell you about today's specials. 1.2468 0.05594 77 60 15 2
2601 Let's call out for something because I'm all thumbs in the kitchen. 1.2468 0.06175 77 62 11 4
2602 Did we save room for berserk? 1.2468 0.06175 77 62 11 4
2603 I guess my ideal type is both adventurous and balanced in life. D'you know what I mean? 1.2468 0.06175 77 62 11 4
2604 I can teach you new things. 1.2468 0.06705 77 64 7 6
2605 I guess Moderna does give you super powers. 1.2468 0.05280 77 59 17 1
2606 A white man struggles to keep himself from referring to the performer as a "woman circus performer". 1.2468 0.06175 77 62 11 4
2607 So, how are you at changing diapers? 1.2468 0.06175 77 62 11 4
2608 2030: what it's like dating somebody who was born during the Pandemic 1.2468 0.06175 77 62 11 4
2609 I’m already juggling too many harmful things. I don’t need you, too. 1.2468 0.06445 77 63 9 5
2610 fuck fuck fuck, oh fuck, shit, fuck, FUCK! goddamnit, shit, fuck 1.2466 0.06695 73 60 8 5
2611 Ugh,do you know how dangerous it is to drink tap water?! 1.2466 0.06101 73 58 12 3
2612 OK, now show me yours. 1.2466 0.06695 73 60 8 5
2613 No, it's cool, don't worry--I've been vaccinated. 1.2466 0.06101 73 58 12 3
2614 And for my next trick, working from home with kids! 1.2466 0.05780 73 57 14 2
2615 Don't mess with me Harry. 1.2466 0.05780 73 57 14 2
2616 I prefer the gentleman in a tux with the violin 1.2466 0.06695 73 60 8 5
2617 It’s still less risky than suggesting a mask mandate. 1.2466 0.05441 73 56 16 1
2618 Cool trick, but can you calculate the tip in your head? 1.2466 0.05441 73 56 16 1
2619 Don't sweat it! I started off with hatchets. 1.2466 0.06695 73 60 8 5
2620 When I said you were dropping the ball lately, this isn't quite what I had in mind. 1.2466 0.05441 73 56 16 1
2621 Ok but can you balance a check book? 1.2466 0.06695 73 60 8 5
2622 Do you really want me to pay attention to whatever you have to say? 1.2464 0.05225 69 52 17 0
2623 How did you know I have children? 1.2464 0.06973 69 57 7 5
2624 Juggling boyfriends is hard 1.2464 0.06332 69 55 11 3
2625 In my line of work, tips are the last thing I want. 1.2464 0.05986 69 54 13 2
2626 Impressed yet? 1.2464 0.06332 69 55 11 3
2627 this is what i meant by "Free Spirit"... what were YOU thinking? 1.2464 0.06660 69 56 9 4
2628 Want fries with that? 1.2464 0.05986 69 54 13 2
2629 Farm-to-table is so yesterday. 1.2464 0.05986 69 54 13 2
2630 This is nothing. Wait 'til you see what I can do with hand grenades! 1.2464 0.06332 69 55 11 3
2631 When your ready jump in 1.2464 0.06973 69 57 7 5
2632 Tonight's bowl will be flambéed and thinly sliced. 1.2464 0.05986 69 54 13 2
2633 All while singing Kirtan 1.2464 0.05986 69 54 13 2
2634 And for our second date…. 1.2464 0.05986 69 54 13 2
2635 Now, when I say go, throw me the check. 1.2464 0.06660 69 56 9 4
2636 What’s the matter, not much for small talk? 1.2464 0.05986 69 54 13 2
2637 I think you'll find that's not the most efficient juggling technique. 1.2464 0.05986 69 54 13 2
2638 I heard you like dangerous women 1.2464 0.05986 69 54 13 2
2639 But enough about me, what did you do during the lockdown? 1.2464 0.07272 69 58 5 6
2640 I use my COVID time at home to learn new skills 1.2462 0.06944 65 53 8 4
2641 Hopefully the appetizers show up soon. I can get a little shaky. 1.2462 0.06214 65 51 12 2
2642 I've had a long time to practice after my last date ended so tragically. 1.2462 0.06589 65 52 10 3
2643 This way you'll know when I'm in the mood. 1.2462 0.06944 65 53 8 4
2644 Wait till our second date! 1.2462 0.05385 65 49 16 0
2645 They do have a well balanced menu choice here, honey. 1.2462 0.06214 65 51 12 2
2646 I told you my family were a bunch of clowns. 1.2462 0.06589 65 52 10 3
2647 'Since you can't seem to hear what I am saying, consider this is a visual demonstration of why I can't fit a relationship with you into my busy life. One of us would get hurt!" 1.2462 0.06214 65 51 12 2
2648 now for that glass of water... 1.2462 0.05814 65 50 14 1
2649 Work was a circus today. 1.2462 0.05814 65 50 14 1
2650 'Welcome to the Benihana! Let me tell you about tonight's specials.' 1.2462 0.06214 65 51 12 2
2651 Nothing phases him. 1.2462 0.05814 65 50 14 1
2652 your therapist knows you’re doing well. I don’t have to die 1.2462 0.06214 65 51 12 2
2653 I’ll just have a tossed salad. 1.2459 0.06031 61 47 13 1
2654 This is just a small example of my ability to multi-task. Do I get the job? 1.2459 0.06877 61 49 9 3
2655 Ok, ok I'll put the cellphone away 1.2459 0.06031 61 47 13 1
2656 I’m trying to break my cell phone habit 1.2459 0.06031 61 47 13 1
2657 How about you, any special talents? 1.2459 0.06877 61 49 9 3
2658 See - now do you believe my dating app profile? 1.2459 0.06031 61 47 13 1
2659 I am woman. Watch me juggle. 1.2459 0.07264 61 50 7 4
2660 Still not as good as Zoom? 1.2459 0.06468 61 48 11 2
2661 It’s easier than career and family. 1.2459 0.05559 61 46 15 0
2662 Yes, my online profile said “quirky”. Do you see it? 1.2459 0.06031 61 47 13 1
2663 I'm the appetizer. For the main course you get sawn in half. 1.2459 0.06877 61 49 9 3
2664 I realize that most women can do more, but this is all I've got. 1.2459 0.06468 61 48 11 2
2665 "I think the new baby will fit right in."" 1.2459 0.07264 61 50 7 4
2666 This is ain't nothin'. Wait to see what I do for an encore. 1.2459 0.06468 61 48 11 2
2667 But are you vaccinated? 1.2459 0.06031 61 47 13 1
2668 YOU'RE RIGHT HONEY, YOU PROVIDE A BETTER IN-HOME EXPERIENCE THAN GOING OUT FOR HIBACHI!!! . . . . 1.2459 0.06877 61 49 9 3
2669 OK. I’m impressed. 1.2459 0.06031 61 47 13 1
2670 Hand me your steak knife when it comes, Dear. 1.2459 0.06468 61 48 11 2
2671 Can you ask the waiter to bring another knife? I think I dropped mine. 1.2459 0.07264 61 50 7 4
2672 I prefer this to awkward silences 1.2459 0.06031 61 47 13 1
2673 Historically speaking, no one sitting this close has survived this. 1.2456 0.06754 57 45 10 2
2674 Now is not the time to swipe left. 1.2456 0.06754 57 45 10 2
2675 Yeah,I couldn’t really get into the sourdough baking thing so thought I’d learn something different during COVID. 1.2456 0.06273 57 44 12 1
2676 And my sister learned to make sourdough. 1.2456 0.07203 57 46 8 3
2677 Why do you bring your work with you wherever you go, Sally?! 1.2456 0.07203 57 46 8 3
2678 See! Marriage isn’t hard.? 1.2453 0.07574 53 43 7 3
2679 But I thought MBATJBFCWU meant “Must be able to juggle a ball, fire and chainsaw while on a unicycle”….? 1.2453 0.07079 53 42 9 2
2680 I'm not putting you down, Dave. I'd much rather be sitting quietly, wishing I hadn't brought me. 1.2453 0.08039 53 44 5 4
2681 Honey, could you give me a hand with this - after you've recovered from your difficult day? 1.2453 0.07079 53 42 9 2
2682 Imagine what I can do in bed! 1.2453 0.07574 53 43 7 3
2683 Tell me more about your last girlfriend 1.2453 0.07079 53 42 9 2
2684 Hmm, I wonder if they’re natural... 1.2453 0.07574 53 43 7 3
2685 This is how i decompress after watching the news. 1.2453 0.05967 53 40 13 0
2686 The only thing that freaks me out is that we’re not wearing masks. 1.2453 0.07079 53 42 9 2
2687 Women really can juggle everything. 1.2453 0.07574 53 43 7 3
2688 Did I mention I am gluten free? 1.2453 0.07574 53 43 7 3
2689 This isn’t my only useless talent. 1.2449 0.06207 49 37 12 0
2690 Which one do you want to catch? 1.2442 0.06175 86 71 9 6
2691 I am NOT an unfit mother! Now toss in the baby before the chainsaw runs out of gas! 1.2442 0.06393 86 72 7 7
2692 Small plates? Too easy." 1.2439 0.05900 82 66 12 4
2693 So, what did you pick up in quarantine? 1.2436 0.05221 78 60 17 1
2694 I'm ready now to take on the omelette. 1.2436 0.05824 78 62 13 3
2695 But can she laugh at my jokes? 1.2436 0.04892 78 59 19 0
2696 Sweetie, I'm just getting started. 1.2436 0.06626 78 65 7 6
2697 Don’t mind me. I’m just waiting until you’re ready to order. 1.2436 0.05824 78 62 13 3
2698 What’s next?” Sally ponders as she juggles all that this year has thrown at her 1.2436 0.06103 78 63 11 4
2699 ...they didn’t have crayons. 1.2436 0.06103 78 63 11 4
2700 We're definitely getting the "no cell phones" discount this time! 1.2432 0.05378 74 57 16 1
2701 It's called a side hustle. 1.2432 0.06327 74 60 10 4
2702 Or I could just pay the bill myself 1.2432 0.05711 74 58 14 2
2703 After homeschooling the twins for 18 months, this is a snap ! 1.2432 0.05711 74 58 14 2
2704 ... and I can cook a three-course dinner in under fifteen minutes,wash clothes and hang them up in an hour while juggling two jobs ... pun intended, of course ... 1.2432 0.06327 74 60 10 4
2705 I just didn’t feel challenged enough, learning how to bake. 1.2432 0.05711 74 58 14 2
2706 Is the waiter coming yet? 1.2429 0.06251 70 56 11 3
2707 Oh, I had a little extra time while I was working from home during the pandemic. What did you do? 1.2429 0.05549 70 54 15 1
2708 This is a bit much on a first date, don't you think? 1.2429 0.06251 70 56 11 3
2709 My dating site did say I performed tricks - what's the problem? 1.2429 0.05162 70 53 17 0
2710 We offer the Llama Flank Special rolled, flambe'd, and finely chopped 1.2429 0.05910 70 55 13 2
2711 I learned this trick when I was middle school English teacher. 1.2429 0.05910 70 55 13 2
2712 …ok…I think I got the waiter’s attention… 1.2429 0.06881 70 58 7 5
2713 Oh, you were expecting plates? 1.2429 0.05549 70 54 15 1
2714 The restaurant reviews said "Best Live Performance" 1.2429 0.05549 70 54 15 1
2715 While I lost the art of conversation during lockdown, I picked up a few others… 1.2429 0.06574 70 57 9 4
2716 so as I was saying, it’s nice to finally go on dates again 1.2429 0.05910 70 55 13 2
2717 Sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt. You were telling me about your sourdough starter? 1.2429 0.05910 70 55 13 2
2718 You have no idea what it's like to juggle the things that I do in this relationship. 1.2427 0.04871 103 81 19 3
2719 Are you finally ready to listen? We need life insurance. 1.2424 0.05316 66 50 16 0
2720 And there is a fresh sourdough at home. 1.2424 0.05316 66 50 16 0
2721 OK, but how good are you in juggling a relationship? 1.2424 0.05737 66 51 14 1
2722 Multi-tasking. Its what we do. 1.2424 0.06130 66 52 12 2
2723 I don't think I can juggle all this and a relationship. 1.2424 0.05737 66 51 14 1
2724 Moms on date night be like...every other night. 1.2424 0.06130 66 52 12 2
2725 Compatible? What makes you think we’re not compatible? 1.2424 0.06130 66 52 12 2
2726 Well, I thought Pilates was getting a little boring. 1.2424 0.06130 66 52 12 2
2727 I figured why only learn how to make bread. 1.2424 0.06849 66 54 8 4
2728 At home working mother did it for me! 1.2424 0.06849 66 54 8 4
2729 You're trying too hard 1.2424 0.05737 66 51 14 1
2730 ever since I started intermittent fasting, I have so much energy! 1.2424 0.06130 66 52 12 2
2731 How about smiling, Glen? 1.2424 0.06499 66 53 10 3
2732 Just trying to relax before your folks come over... 1.2424 0.06499 66 53 10 3
2733 Balance is everything 1.2424 0.06849 66 54 8 4
2734 You are as lethal as me. If you don’t wear your mask. 1.2424 0.06130 66 52 12 2
2735 I see you’re still not impressed… 1.2424 0.06499 66 53 10 3
2736 You're not "buying dinner." You're paying for my service. 1.2424 0.06849 66 54 8 4
2737 Do I seem too anxious? 1.2424 0.06130 66 52 12 2
2738 I'm also the first female Governor of New York. 1.2424 0.06130 66 52 12 2
2739 Still less dangerous than skipping the vaccine shot(s) 1.2424 0.06499 66 53 10 3
2740 Honey, I think the waiter's finally bringing us our appetizers. 1.2419 0.06375 62 49 11 2
2741 So that's me. Tell me something interesting about you! 1.2419 0.07157 62 51 7 4
2742 OK...grab the chain saw...NOW! 1.2419 0.06375 62 49 11 2
2743 Do you have a pen I could borrow? 1.2419 0.06777 62 50 9 3
2744 Sorry, I seem to be spontaneously busking 1.2419 0.06777 62 50 9 3
2745 Just practicing for another school year of working motherhood during a Pandemic. Step in anytime. 1.2419 0.06375 62 49 11 2
2746 I obtained an advanced degree, I'm established in a career, I hope to run for office someday. I've also got a house in Escrow. So..... if you aren't ready to get married and have children, we'll just skip dinner okay? 1.2419 0.06777 62 50 9 3
2747 Beats juggling school with work. 1.2419 0.05483 62 47 15 0
2748 I’m different from other girls. 1.2419 0.06375 62 49 11 2
2749 If you can't afford your meal, just say so. 1.2419 0.06777 62 50 9 3
2750 It's an icebreaker I use on all first dates. 1.2418 0.05025 91 71 18 2
2751 Would you be a doll and pass the wine list please? 1.2418 0.05490 91 73 14 4
2752 For my encore I'm going to juggle a Japanese sword, a jackhammer and a cat with severe diarrhea! 1.2418 0.05490 91 73 14 4
2753 The wedding is off...too risky! 1.2414 0.06650 58 46 10 2
2754 I wanted to learn something useful during quarantine. 1.2414 0.06650 58 46 10 2
2755 Well, what did you learn how to do during Covid? 1.2414 0.07090 58 47 8 3
2756 What working moms will have to do again this school year while executives & administrators sit by and say “try harder” and “you should be used to this new norm”. “Now get your laptop and log in for our next zoom” 1.2414 0.06650 58 46 10 2
2757 On second thought, tell the waiter I'll toss the salad. 1.2414 0.06179 58 45 12 1
2758 Torch, bowling ball, chain saw. Torch, bowling ball, chain saw. Torch, chain saw, 1.2414 0.06650 58 46 10 2
2759 What? You said 'let's do dinner and a show.' 1.2414 0.07505 58 48 6 4
2760 Oh, I see... You do have a lot on your plate right now. 1.2414 0.07505 58 48 6 4
2761 So... Your profile also said you like long walks on the beach? 1.2414 0.06179 58 45 12 1
2762 I have hidden talents as well. 1.2410 0.05309 83 65 16 2
2763 Well yes, you might say I used my work from home time effectively. 1.2407 0.06962 54 43 9 2
2764 My last boyfriend had O+ blood,what is yours? 1.2407 0.06440 54 42 11 1
2765 This wasn’t on my profile, but it always impresses. 1.2407 0.06962 54 43 9 2
2766 I got bored with just keeping plates spinning! 1.2407 0.06962 54 43 9 2
2767 What can I say? Finding a hobby during a pandemic is hard. 1.2405 0.05758 79 63 13 3
2768 Yea, I get it…but you should still get the vaccine 1.2405 0.06297 79 65 9 5
2769 This? This is nothing. Have you heard of the mental load, Steve? 1.2400 0.05315 75 58 16 1
2770 This is why I think I can handle getting COVID. 1.2400 0.07318 50 40 8 2
2771 So what kinds of things did *you* learn during the lockdown? 1.2400 0.05644 75 59 14 2
2772 Don't worry, I'm used to juggling many things at once 1.2400 0.04948 100 79 18 3
2773 I call this trick Tuesday 1.2400 0.06101 50 38 12 0
2774 The way I see it, with your Spanish and my act...all we need is to get down to Puerto Vallarta and find a good street corner and we've got it made. 1.2400 0.06250 75 61 10 4
2775 Think Fast! 1.2400 0.05955 75 60 12 3
2776 Jeremy, we've been waiting over three quarters of an hour! We have to do something to get their attention! 1.2400 0.06737 50 39 10 1
2777 Well don’t just stare Ted. Throw me that puppy. 1.2400 0.06532 75 62 8 5
2778 It was this or baking sourdough 1.2400 0.07856 50 41 6 3
2779 Don’t get too excited,I just dropped your meal in the kitchen. 1.2394 0.05481 71 55 15 1
2780 Or you could just politely ask for a menu. . . 1.2394 0.06172 71 57 11 3
2781 My life coach suggested that I try and be entertaining. 1.2394 0.06489 71 58 9 4
2782 You should see me balance a checkbook. 1.2394 0.05481 71 55 15 1
2783 How do you feel about kids? 1.2394 0.06792 71 59 7 5
2784 This was my favourite pastime during lockdown that I wanted to show you. 1.2394 0.06489 71 58 9 4
2785 You're right, I haven't appreciated how complicated your life is. But I don't think running away to join the circus will solve anything. 1.2394 0.05836 71 56 13 2
2786 I can also cook! 1.2394 0.06172 71 57 11 3
2787 please make up your mind 1.2394 0.05836 71 56 13 2
2788 You secretly wished I’d spice up dinner time, so here we are! 1.2394 0.06172 71 57 11 3
2789 You see it's simple. Just takes years of practise to balance everyone else's needs before yours. 1.2394 0.06172 71 57 11 3
2790 On second thought, I’m fine with you playing with your phone at the table. 1.2394 0.05836 71 56 13 2
2791 This is what we call work/life balance 1.2394 0.05481 71 55 15 1
2792 I've been looking for that chainsaw. 1.2391 0.05651 92 75 12 5
2793 The only time I dropped the chainsaw was when I ran into my ex. 1.2388 0.07082 67 56 6 5
2794 My sources tell me this will be a new sport in the 2028 Olympics. 1.2388 0.06755 67 55 8 4
2795 You done with that glass? 1.2388 0.06412 67 54 10 3
2796 It works fine, but sometimes I lose my balance when they toss me the hand grenade. 1.2388 0.06049 67 53 12 2
2797 Whoops! My left hand has not perfected the catch yet! 1.2388 0.05663 67 52 14 1
2798 Sorry about your wife. I'm sure she'll be fine. 1.2388 0.06049 67 53 12 2
2799 The bowling ball looked bigger in your profile... 1.2388 0.06049 67 53 12 2
2800 Vaccinated? No, I’m not afraid of death. 1.2388 0.06049 67 53 12 2
2801 I thought we'd try something new tonight. 1.2388 0.05248 67 51 16 0
2802 America: A Circus Act 1.2388 0.06412 67 54 10 3
2803 Easier than juggling career, marriage and kids. 1.2388 0.05663 67 52 14 1
2804 It felt like a good time to show you my lesson plans. 1.2388 0.06755 67 55 8 4
2805 Think I'm ready to meet your parents? 1.2388 0.06755 67 55 8 4
2806 Feel free to throw in a tip. 1.2388 0.06049 67 53 12 2
2807 Not to worry, this is my second try with the chain saw. 1.2388 0.06412 67 54 10 3
2808 Uh — will dinner be ready soon? 1.2388 0.05663 67 52 14 1
2809 You did not want me texting all the time. 1.2388 0.06049 67 53 12 2
2810 I would be impressed if you were a monkey, but you're demonstrating basic female human abilities. 1.2388 0.07082 67 56 6 5
2811 WAIT UNTIL YOU SEE MY NEXT TRICK! 1.2388 0.06049 67 53 12 2
2812 Your credit card has been declined. 1.2388 0.05663 67 52 14 1
2813 That's why I'm back on TINDER. The chainsaw sometimes gets away from me. 1.2388 0.06412 67 54 10 3
2814 Now the glass ... 1.2388 0.06049 67 53 12 2
2815 So you don't cook at all? 1.2388 0.06412 67 54 10 3
2816 Don’t make me look down. 1.2386 0.05110 88 69 17 2
2817 You know what's hard? Finding a waiter to hire these days. 1.2381 0.05409 63 48 15 0
2818 I call this trick “the butcher the baker and the smashed testicles maker” 1.2381 0.07053 63 52 7 4
2819 It's what I meant in my profile by "juggling career." 1.2381 0.06285 63 50 11 2
2820 This? This is easy. Getting the unicycle off the table, now that's hard. 1.2381 0.06285 63 50 11 2
2821 You promised not to make a scene. 1.2381 0.06285 63 50 11 2
2822 First dates always seem to feel like an audition. 1.2381 0.05409 63 48 15 0
2823 Let me guess. You think I just need to ‘smile more.’ 1.2381 0.06680 63 51 9 3
2824 Ok, he's seen me, he's bringing the check. 1.2381 0.06285 63 50 11 2
2825 It's more fun than with kids and work. 1.2381 0.05519 84 67 14 3
2826 What did you think when I said 'turning tricks' is my job? 1.2381 0.06680 63 51 9 3
2827 Did I mention my passion for juggling in my Match.com profile? 1.2381 0.06285 63 50 11 2
2828 Things you learn about a person when you finally meet face to face after zoom-dating for most of the pandemic. 1.2381 0.06285 63 50 11 2
2829 Look at the chainsaw, not at me! 1.2381 0.06680 63 51 9 3
2830 The time management tutorial I watched was by the Flying Karamazov Brothers 1.2381 0.06680 63 51 9 3
2831 I thought I'd bring some excitement to our first date. 1.2381 0.06285 63 50 11 2
2832 Wanna play rock-paper-scissors? 1.2381 0.06285 63 50 11 2
2833 Sorry for the delay: it's been a circus in the kitchen. 1.2381 0.05863 63 49 13 1
2834 I broke up with my last boyfriend because he wasn't bringing enough to the table. 1.2381 0.06680 63 51 9 3
2835 all right all right i believe you- you’re not like other women 1.2381 0.06680 63 51 9 3
2836 Miranda, please don't make a scene. 1.2381 0.05863 63 49 13 1
2837 Would I make a good wife and working mother you ask? 1.2381 0.06285 63 50 11 2
2838 Would you mind grabbing one of these. If not, no worries! 1.2381 0.07407 63 53 5 5
2839 That's what I've been up to today. How about you? 1.2375 0.05694 80 64 13 3
2840 Have you ever heard of the old expression, "I'm not just a pretty face?" 1.2375 0.05694 80 64 13 3
2841 It beats washing dishes. 1.2375 0.06474 80 67 7 6
2842 Work from home for a circus artiste. 1.2373 0.07773 59 50 4 5
2843 Did you pick up any new hobbies in 2020? 1.2373 0.06087 59 46 12 1
2844 I'm assuming you know how to train a tiger? 1.2373 0.06087 59 46 12 1
2845 It could be worse! I could be juggling porcupines! 1.2373 0.06549 59 47 10 2
2846 I'm also a Sagittarius and I enjoy hiking and cross-county skiing. Should we order appetizers? 1.2373 0.06981 59 48 8 3
2847 What do you think about the circus now? 1.2373 0.06549 59 47 10 2
2848 I didn't take "I juggle many skills" so literally... 1.2373 0.07388 59 49 6 4
2849 I'm a woman...of course I can multi-task! 1.2373 0.06087 59 46 12 1
2850 I picked up a few useful skills as a single mom. 1.2373 0.06087 59 46 12 1
2851 It keeps me centered. 1.2373 0.05586 59 45 14 0
2852 I had a lot of time to myself during the lockdown. 1.2373 0.06549 59 47 10 2
2853 You said this is your first post-quarantine date,too? 1.2373 0.06087 59 46 12 1
2854 Does this outfit look too busy? 1.2373 0.06981 59 48 8 3
2855 Don’t talk to me I need to concentrate. I dropped one of these at my last job and we lost a customer. 1.2373 0.06087 59 46 12 1
2856 I always seem to be able to catch the ball. 1.2373 0.06087 59 46 12 1
2857 I don’t think the waiter’s seen us yet. 1.2373 0.06981 59 48 8 3
2858 I did see juggling on your eharmony profile but this was not how I saw our first date going... 1.2373 0.06549 59 47 10 2
2859 I want you to get to know the real me. Impressed? 1.2368 0.06175 76 62 10 4
2860 This, should be your profile pic. 1.2368 0.05254 76 59 16 1
2861 At the cirque cafe, we tenderize, cook, and cut your steak while you watch. 1.2368 0.06720 76 64 6 6
2862 Just thought we needed a little more balance in our relationship. 1.2368 0.05884 76 61 12 3
2863 I’ll bet you can’t do that with your eyes closed. 1.2368 0.05884 76 61 12 3
2864 Join the juggle, Todd! 1.2368 0.06175 76 62 10 4
2865 If women showed you all they were really juggling 1.2364 0.07323 55 45 7 3
2866 Yes, this is my first in-person date in a while ... why do you ask? 1.2364 0.07769 55 46 5 4
2867 Darling, you know I support your art, but can't we have a quiet dinner? 1.2364 0.06848 55 44 9 2
2868 Your profile says you enjoy flossing. Tell me more. 1.2364 0.07323 55 45 7 3
2869 This is what I learned while you were on all those office zoom calls. 1.2364 0.07323 55 45 7 3
2870 My therapist told me I was trying to juggle too many things at once and I should try to find balance. 1.2364 0.06337 55 43 11 1
2871 My therapist said some balance would really alter my perspective on life 1.2364 0.06337 55 43 11 1
2872 I'm oversharing again 1.2364 0.06848 55 44 9 2
2873 ‘Freud,’ thought Patrick, ‘would have a LOT to say about this.’ 1.2361 0.06407 72 59 9 4
2874 I'll only drop them if you tip less then 20% 1.2361 0.06094 72 58 11 3
2875 I like to go all out on a first date. 1.2361 0.05414 72 56 15 1
2876 It’s hot on TikTok. 1.2361 0.06407 72 59 9 4
2877 Any other questions about my Dating Profile? 1.2361 0.06094 72 58 11 3
2878 You said you wanted a woman that could juggle vibration, big balls and a hot stick and keep her balance on a table. 1.2361 0.06094 72 58 11 3
2879 Now toss the quarter stick of dynamite where I can see it…quickly! 1.2361 0.06094 72 58 11 3
2880 Imagine what I can do with boyfriends. 1.2361 0.06094 72 58 11 3
2881 You said you were searching for a dangerous woman. 1.2361 0.06407 72 59 9 4
2882 I wear a lot of hats. 1.2361 0.05764 72 57 13 2
2883 And finally, John understood what the Extramarital Affair Conference was trying to teach him. 1.2361 0.06094 72 58 11 3
2884 On the count of three I'm gonna start passing these to you so I can go on vacation....ready..." 1.2361 0.06094 72 58 11 3
2885 you should smile more, though 1.2361 0.05764 72 57 13 2
2886 I don’t want to distract you, but can I get some more water? 1.2353 0.05590 68 53 14 1
2887 And you thought gluten was risky. 1.2353 0.05970 68 54 12 2
2888 As you can tell, I have been practicing social distancing my whole life. 1.2353 0.06327 68 55 10 3
2889 And on top of that, I cook a mean steak tartare. 1.2353 0.06664 68 56 8 4
2890 Yes, I have "daddy issues". Why do you ask? 1.2353 0.05590 68 53 14 1
2891 I'm only trying to get the waitron's attention. 1.2353 0.06664 68 56 8 4
2892 No worries. The chain saw isn’t sharpened. 1.2353 0.05590 68 53 14 1
2893 You may be wondering where this first date is going…” 1.2353 0.05198 85 67 16 2
2894 And now that I have your attention… 1.2353 0.07188 51 41 8 2
2895 Tell them I'll toss my own salad. 1.2353 0.06327 68 55 10 3
2896 Should we be wearing masks? 1.2353 0.05970 68 54 12 2
2897 Would you prefer I light your cigarette, slice your bread, or bring you a bowl soup 1.2353 0.07188 51 41 8 2
2898 It's nothing really, after working first in the White House and more recently for Cuomo. 1.2353 0.06327 68 55 10 3
2899 In my day job, I'm a nun. 1.2353 0.06664 68 56 8 4
2900 Can you do it in heels? 1.2353 0.07188 51 41 8 2
2901 Welcome to life without a cell phone" 1.2353 0.05970 68 54 12 2
2902 This was not the first time Jerry had been intimidated by Helen's ability to juggle skills. 1.2353 0.06327 68 55 10 3
2903 Mothers are Olympic-level multi-tasking jugglers! 1.2353 0.06327 68 55 10 3
2904 No, Phil! I’ve tried and tried to tell you but you don’t listen! THIS IS MY LIFE! 1.2353 0.06664 68 56 8 4
2905 It's my go-to first date ice breaker. 1.2353 0.06327 68 55 10 3
2906 A girl needs more than paper, rock, and scissors. 1.2353 0.05970 68 54 12 2
2907 So, do you feel safe in here without your mask? 1.2353 0.07188 51 41 8 2
2908 Do my feelings of inadequacy mean nothing to you? 1.2353 0.06986 68 57 6 5
2909 Daily life of a woman 1.2353 0.05970 68 54 12 2
2910 Ok now you just jump in at any time! 1.2353 0.05590 68 53 14 1
2911 I told you not to visit me at work. 1.2353 0.06664 68 56 8 4
2912 First dates are always a balancing act between being interesting and paying attention to the other person. I'll get to that second part in just a second. 1.2346 0.05349 81 64 15 2
2913 Then why were you on Tinder for Jugglers? 1.2346 0.05349 81 64 15 2
2914 Send in the Clowns" - that's where you come in 1.2346 0.05630 81 65 13 3
2915 This? Easy. Dating again? Not so much. 1.2344 0.05783 64 50 13 1
2916 I'm thinking of a number between 1 and 10. 1.2344 0.06197 64 51 11 2
2917 Sure I'm busy, but if wait until you have less going on, you'll end up never meeting anyone. 1.2344 0.06197 64 51 11 2
2918 You understand, I'm just trying to get you to think outside the box. 1.2344 0.05783 64 50 13 1
2919 Well, long story short, my job is intense. 1.2344 0.05337 64 49 15 0
2920 Impressive, but is your menu well balanced? 1.2344 0.06585 64 52 9 3
2921 Successfully? Not yet. 1.2344 0.06585 64 52 9 3
2922 Rock, scissors, fire 1.2344 0.05783 64 50 13 1
2923 I hate awkward silences. 1.2344 0.06952 64 53 7 4
2924 So, what new things did you learn during quarantine? 1.2344 0.06197 64 51 11 2
2925 Ok so now is this the weirdest blind date of your life. 1.2344 0.06197 64 51 11 2
2926 you said you wanted to date someone dangerous 1.2344 0.06585 64 52 9 3
2927 No, go ahead. Check your phone. 1.2344 0.05783 64 50 13 1
2928 There's no way I am taking that experimental vaccine. Way to dangerous. 1.2344 0.06952 64 53 7 4
2929 You can pick which one I drop in your lap. 1.2344 0.06952 64 53 7 4
2930 "I'll be with you in a minute. 1.2344 0.06197 64 51 11 2
2931 When I count to three, please pass the water. 1.2344 0.06585 64 52 9 3
2932 ...though sometimes first dates give me the twisties. 1.2344 0.06585 64 52 9 3
2933 I used to be good at this. 1.2344 0.06197 64 51 11 2
2934 Less flair, more gin please. 1.2344 0.06952 64 53 7 4
2935 No darling that hand signal just isn't working, let me show you how to get the waiter's attention" 1.2344 0.06197 64 51 11 2
2936 So....Is dinner in the oven? 1.2344 0.06585 64 52 9 3
2937 . This is what I do to stay sane. 1.2344 0.06197 64 51 11 2
2938 Now hand me your glass. 1.2340 0.08168 47 39 5 3
2939 Your dating profile said you were juggling family, work, and relationships so I wanted to show you I'm a capable juggler as well. 1.2338 0.05816 77 62 12 3
2940 Wow! Can you tell me about the Delta variant,too? 1.2338 0.05816 77 62 12 3
2941 Clearly,you could have picked up our kids from school and taken the dog for a walk... 1.2338 0.05816 77 62 12 3
2942 You don’t really look like your tinder profile. 1.2338 0.05816 77 62 12 3
2943 What do I do? I guess you could say I’m a multi-hyphenate. 1.2338 0.05514 77 61 14 2
2944 So you'll be picking up the tab" 1.2333 0.06451 60 48 10 2
2945 See how handy I'm when we get married... 1.2333 0.06875 60 49 8 3
2946 When the waiter comes over do you mind ordering me a lot of plates? 1.2333 0.07653 60 51 4 5
2947 This is the only way to divert people's attention away from the wretched food 1.2333 0.05253 90 72 15 3
2948 You still want that threesome? 1.2333 0.05997 60 47 12 1
2949 Yes. I am off my medications. Why do you ask? 1.2333 0.06451 60 48 10 2
2950 I left a few things out on my profile on match.com. 1.2333 0.06451 60 48 10 2
2951 If you truly want a second date, Jack, catch the chainsaw. 1.2333 0.05997 60 47 12 1
2952 I can stop anytime i want to. 1.2333 0.05997 60 47 12 1
2953 I am counting on you to do the dishes today. 1.2333 0.06875 60 49 8 3
2954 This is kind of a slow day... Can I top that drink off for you? 1.2333 0.06451 60 48 10 2
2955 How he recalls how their first date went… 1.2333 0.05997 60 47 12 1
2956 am I good enough for your mother now? 1.2333 0.06451 60 48 10 2
2957 I know it's not an Olympic event! The kids are back in school and I don't want to lose any ground. 1.2329 0.06327 73 60 9 4
2958 A simple cartwheel would have been sufficient. 1.2329 0.04981 73 56 17 0
2959 While David appreciated the skill, he wasn't sure the latest culinary innovation would catch on. 1.2329 0.05349 73 57 15 1
2960 I'm a teacher. 1.2329 0.04981 73 56 17 0
2961 This is what we mean when we say men can't multitask 1.2329 0.05694 73 58 13 2
2962 You didn’t hear me the first time, so let me demonstrate. 1.2329 0.05349 73 57 15 1
2963 Don't worry, I'm a working single mother of two - I got this" 1.2329 0.06019 73 59 11 3
2964 This really helps me keep my skills up until I go back to the office. 1.2329 0.05349 73 57 15 1
2965 Nobody told me I had to prove all that I say in my TInder profile! 1.2329 0.06019 73 59 11 3
2966 Having honed these skills for years, I find it ironic that a fumble might get our waiter’s attention even faster. 1.2326 0.04872 86 67 18 1
2967 A generous tip would be in your best interest. 1.2321 0.06738 56 45 9 2
2968 Yeah, I'm bored too. 1.2321 0.06237 56 44 11 1
2969 Housework, parenting, career. Now you try it. 1.2321 0.07203 56 46 7 3
2970 While I continue doing this, I'll sing "Let Me Entertain You," then slip into Helena’s Declaration from "All’s Well that Ends Well.” And if you still don't think I'm ready for motherhood and a career, I'm breaking our engagement." 1.2321 0.06738 56 45 9 2
2971 The bowling ball is hollow. 1.2321 0.06738 56 45 9 2
2972 Dinner and a show! 1.2321 0.05693 56 43 13 0
2973 Oh yea? I can burp the alphabet. 1.2321 0.07641 56 47 5 4
2974 Oh, and I also picked up your shirts from the cleaners, I and arranged Susie's dentist appointment. And, I'll be ready for the sex after cocktails. 1.2321 0.07203 56 46 7 3
2975 No,I’m not risk averse. How did you know? 1.2321 0.06738 56 45 9 2
2976 No, I'm not particularly competitive. Why do you ask? 1.2321 0.06237 56 44 11 1
2977 So, you were telling me your hobby is crocheting? 1.2321 0.06237 56 44 11 1
2978 My Tinder profile said I have talents you've never dreamed of. What did you think I meant? 1.2321 0.06738 56 45 9 2
2979 Cirque du Soleil job interview: How do you see yourself in 5 years? 1.2321 0.06237 56 44 11 1
2980 Sir, I need you to mask up. For safety. 1.2321 0.06738 56 45 9 2
2981 It's complicated. 1.2321 0.06738 56 45 9 2
2982 I never get to apply the things I learned at clown college. So, if not now, when? 1.2321 0.06237 56 44 11 1
2983 That’s right, Todd. I’m leaving you for this. 1.2321 0.06738 56 45 9 2
2984 See? A single mom can do it all! 1.2319 0.06576 69 57 8 4
2985 They hired me to wash dishes but I kept dropping things. 1.2319 0.06243 69 56 10 3
2986 We have many new specials at the Circus Cafe. May I recommend our flaming entree,? 1.2319 0.06576 69 57 8 4
2987 Marie! You don't have to bring your work to dinner! 1.2319 0.05892 69 55 12 2
2988 Let me know if I'm getting the waiter's attention. 1.2319 0.06576 69 57 8 4
2989 Perhaps Valerie was trying to hard to impress for a first date. 1.2319 0.05519 69 54 14 1
2990 Why do I feel like I'm doing all the work in this relationship? 1.2319 0.05892 69 55 12 2
2991 Your dating profile said timid and introverted 1.2319 0.06243 69 56 10 3
2992 It’s not you. I just have a lot going on in my life right now 1.2319 0.06243 69 56 10 3
2993 Miss, you’d get a bigger tip if you woulda just made this a double... 1.2319 0.05892 69 55 12 2
2994 They say you have to sing for your supper. I hear they have great desserts. 1.2317 0.04999 82 64 17 1
2995 For this relationship to work, you have to catch the chainsaw and throw me a baby. 1.2308 0.08516 52 45 2 5
2996 I picked up a few new skills during quarantine. 1.2308 0.05705 65 51 13 1
2997 I never have understood why you don't enjoy eating out with me. 1.2308 0.06493 65 53 9 3
2998 See? And you said I couldn’t work from home. 1.2308 0.07578 52 43 6 3
2999 Our service is with some delay tonight... 1.2308 0.07063 52 42 8 2
3000 Could I have mispronounced arugula? 1.2308 0.06112 65 52 11 2
3001 Didn't my dating profile say I enjoy juggling different projects? 1.2308 0.05705 65 51 13 1
3002 It’s called intersectional performative activism. I think I’m doing it right. 1.2308 0.05267 65 50 15 0
3003 This is the point in the first date where you either run away or become awkwardly aroused. 1.2308 0.07063 52 42 8 2
3004 My last date didn’t last past hors d’oeuvres. 1.2308 0.06031 78 64 10 4
3005 You want excitement, you say? 1.2308 0.05748 78 63 12 3
3006 You want to know what’s hard? Eighteen months ago, I was the activity director for eight hundred elderly people on a cruise ship off the coast of Belize, in a COVID protocol. Then the AC broke. 1.2308 0.06112 65 52 11 2
3007 I've had a lot of free time this year. 1.2308 0.05705 65 51 13 1
3008 I'm sorry we have to brake up, you are just not entertaining anymore. 1.2308 0.06112 65 52 11 2
3009 I just hate when they're slow to bring the check. 1.2308 0.06112 65 52 11 2
3010 I'll be honest, I'm breaking up with you to get rid of the most harmful thing in my life that I'm juggling. 1.2308 0.05748 78 63 12 3
3011 Sorry, I’m juggling too many things to get involved with you right now. 1.2308 0.07063 52 42 8 2
3012 Is this an obvious enough signal? 1.2308 0.07063 52 42 8 2
3013 Life balance is important to me. 1.2308 0.06508 52 41 10 1
3014 You're really hard to please. 1.2308 0.06112 65 52 11 2
3015 I don't need a pre-nup! 1.2308 0.05705 65 51 13 1
3016 You said you wanted to spice things up 1.2308 0.05705 65 51 13 1
3017 Don't worry, I've had a lot of practice during the pandemic. 1.2308 0.05705 65 51 13 1
3018 The 19th Century, “The women juggling everything around and the men just sit there” 1.2308 0.05748 78 63 12 3
3019 Ok, I’m a big fan but probably not your guy. 1.2308 0.05705 65 51 13 1
3020 Oops. I meant to turn off the chainsaw first 1.2308 0.06112 65 52 11 2
3021 This isn’t exactly what I pictured when you said dinner and a show 1.2308 0.06031 78 64 10 4
3022 I used to do this on a bicycle, but I'd be two tired afterwards. 1.2299 0.06052 87 73 8 6
3023 You spent your lockdown time really well. 1.2299 0.04823 87 68 18 1
3024 So, is it okay if I look at my phone now? 1.2299 0.05092 87 69 16 2
3025 My profile said that I juggle a lot of things... 1.2297 0.05286 74 58 15 1
3026 18%, 20% or 25% tip? 1.2297 0.05945 74 60 11 3
3027 I thought you were kidding. 1.2297 0.05625 74 59 13 2
3028 Tik Tok makes this look easy. 1.2297 0.05625 74 59 13 2
3029 Aren't you maybe going a little bit overboard on the social distancing? 1.2297 0.05945 74 60 11 3
3030 If I keep this up, you promise you won’t look at your phone on our date? 1.2297 0.05625 74 59 13 2
3031 ... and all this time I thought crudités were just raw vegetables. 1.2297 0.05625 74 59 13 2
3032 It’s just that I’ve got a lot to juggle in my life right now. 1.2295 0.06356 61 49 10 2
3033 As an incentive for your tip, I could return to serve the dessert course. 1.2295 0.05911 61 48 12 1
3034 Stressful? Not really. I kept working with small kids through the COVID lockdown. I do this to relax. 1.2295 0.06356 61 49 10 2
3035 It's my OCD. I just have to do this before the waiter comes back. 1.2295 0.06356 61 49 10 2
3036 I also write resignation speeches for politicians. 1.2295 0.07165 61 51 6 4
3037 After working as an ICU Nurse and taking care of the kids during Covid this is a breeze! 1.2295 0.06772 61 50 8 3
3038 So how about you? Any new hobbies? 1.2295 0.06356 61 49 10 2
3039 When I said I was a whiz in the kitchen, what did you think I meant? 1.2295 0.06356 61 49 10 2
3040 The violinist is out sick today. 1.2295 0.06772 61 50 8 3
3041 Want me to try this blindfolded? 1.2295 0.06772 61 50 8 3
3042 My therapist said I should take more risks. 1.2295 0.06772 61 50 8 3
3043 Now, I bet you’re thinking, I should have swiped right. 1.2295 0.06356 61 49 10 2
3044 I just thought the Olympics were getting a little too easy 1.2295 0.05911 61 48 12 1
3045 Not that anything’s off the table, but you were speaking metaphorically when you said your last date was murder, right? 1.2295 0.05429 61 47 14 0
3046 I misunderstood when you said "juggling priorities" in your dating profile. 1.2295 0.06356 61 49 10 2
3047 Dude, swipe right! 1.2295 0.05911 61 48 12 1
3048 It's getting harder and harder to impress online dates... 1.2295 0.05911 61 48 12 1
3049 So, not the veal? 1.2295 0.05429 61 47 14 0
3050 So...your talent is sitting still and watching? 1.2292 0.05231 96 78 14 4
3051 This is embarrassing but it’s actually not my birthday 1.2292 0.08547 48 41 3 4
3052 Did I forget to mention in my online profile that I've worked in the circus? 1.2289 0.05235 83 66 15 2
3053 The interview is tomorrow. 1.2289 0.06018 83 69 9 5
3054 You sure are hard to impress 1.2286 0.05817 70 56 12 2
3055 I'm not good at small talk. 1.2286 0.05817 70 56 12 2
3056 Ok, Ok, I'll go out with you Friday, but I may need to juggle a few things on my calandar 1.2286 0.05817 70 56 12 2
3057 Wow, I've never done this on a table before. 1.2286 0.05817 70 56 12 2
3058 What's funny is that all of my boyfriends have been quiet, sensitive guys....All 17 of them. 1.2286 0.06163 70 57 10 3
3059 It’s nothing compared to balancing our budget. 1.2286 0.06490 70 58 8 4
3060 See what I mean? How do I do this justice in my Tindr bio? 1.2286 0.05817 70 56 12 2
3061 Hobbies? Mostly reading and hiking. 1.2286 0.05817 70 56 12 2
3062 No, you’re right—it *does* work better with the chainsaw. 1.2286 0.06490 70 58 8 4
3063 This is a metaphor, Tom, for all the different roles I have to “juggle” in society. Do you get it now? 1.2286 0.06490 70 58 8 4
3064 is this a good time to ask what's for dinner? 1.2286 0.05817 70 56 12 2
3065 No, I don't think I'm the one your Mamma warned you about. 1.2281 0.07088 57 47 7 3
3066 For my grand finale, I am going to pass you the torch to set the tablecloth on fire. 1.2281 0.05607 57 44 13 0
3067 I’m really looking to enhance my at-home spin bike class experience. 1.2281 0.06140 57 45 11 1
3068 Benihana is child's play compared to us. 1.2281 0.07088 57 47 7 3
3069 You just seem a little boring to me. 1.2281 0.05607 57 44 13 0
3070 Not sure match.com got this one right. 1.2281 0.05607 57 44 13 0
3071 Your turn! 1.2281 0.06631 57 46 9 2
3072 Look, if you actually read my dating profile, it clearly said: "Soft as cotton candy. Sharp as a chain saw. All strikes and no gutter talk. 1.2281 0.07923 57 49 3 5
3073 They say to embrace new hobbies, even if you're not very good at them. 1.2281 0.07088 57 47 7 3
3074 Fine, John. Now’s a great time to start trying for a baby. 1.2281 0.06631 57 46 9 2
3075 It will look like a simple juggling accident, bob 1.2281 0.06631 57 46 9 2
3076 We're a little short staffed. What can I get you? 1.2281 0.06631 57 46 9 2
3077 I’m putting it all on the table. 1.2281 0.06140 57 45 11 1
3078 Well, it’s refreshing to finally meet someone who isn’t lying in their online dating profile. 1.2281 0.06140 57 45 11 1
3079 Just pick one and we're set for good. 1.2278 0.05390 79 63 14 2
3080 Attention seeking was just more authentic before social media, y’know? 1.2278 0.05390 79 63 14 2
3081 I don't think that's how you make a Harvey Wallbanger. 1.2278 0.05683 79 64 12 3
3082 You’re gonna have to do better than this if you want that unpaid internship, Susan. 1.2278 0.06228 79 66 8 5
3083 Well your bio did say you love multitasking 1.2278 0.05683 79 64 12 3
3084 Snapping my fingers didn't work. 1.2273 0.06028 66 53 11 2
3085 Yeah, I do pretty much typical woman stuff. OK, so you're next. 1.2273 0.06403 66 54 9 3
3086 It's like my gig at Google, but less dangerous. 1.2273 0.06028 66 53 11 2
3087 Dangerous? This? Nah. I’m fully vaccinated. 1.2273 0.05629 66 52 13 1
3088 This is my life, you in? " 1.2273 0.06028 66 53 11 2
3089 I'm smart, well read and love the beach, downside is I'm a bit clumsy ... 1.2273 0.06403 66 54 9 3
3090 Blind dates make me nervous. 1.2273 0.06028 66 53 11 2
3091 Let me be clear: the only thing I won’t juggle is responsibilities. 1.2273 0.06028 66 53 11 2
3092 It's not you. It's just that I'm juggling too much to concentrate on a relationship right now. 1.2273 0.06758 66 55 7 4
3093 So will you please do the dishes tonight? 1.2273 0.05198 66 51 15 0
3094 "Finally, I have your attention" 1.2273 0.06028 66 53 11 2
3095 Yes, I'm breaking up with you. And please don't make a scene. 1.2273 0.06028 66 53 11 2
3096 So I'm single, with no kids. It was my husband who taught me how to juggle. He would catch each item and toss them in the air back to me, he would add in a hatchet, a sword, and finally he would toss in Rick, our two year old. Then one night ....... 1.2273 0.06028 66 53 11 2
3097 You had me at "anything". 1.2273 0.06028 66 53 11 2
3098 Putting together puzzles and baking bread just weren't doing it for me anymore. 1.2273 0.06028 66 53 11 2
3099 Sure, I can pick up the kids so that you can go on the bike ride... 1.2273 0.06758 66 55 7 4
3100 He still wasn’t impressed by her resume 1.2273 0.06028 66 53 11 2
3101 The time slot for watching a show and having dinner was pretty tight 1.2273 0.05198 66 51 15 0
3102 Don't move. The entertainment portion of tonight's dinner will be brief. 1.2267 0.05558 75 60 13 2
3103 First impressions are everything in dating today, don’t you think? 1.2267 0.05558 75 60 13 2
3104 It keeps my mind busy so I can’t worry about climate crisis and our doomed democracy. 1.2267 0.05874 75 61 11 3
3105 Usually I use knives, but the chef wouldn't lend me his. 1.2267 0.05874 75 61 11 3
3106 Wow, I'm not usually like this! 1.2267 0.05874 75 61 11 3
3107 and that's when I left the circus life and started using this dating app 1.2267 0.05874 75 61 11 3
3108 Anything you can do, I can do better. I can do anything better than you! 1.2267 0.05874 75 61 11 3
3109 Welcome to dining in Florida! 1.2264 0.07447 53 44 6 3
3110 I'm sorry. My therapist said I shouldn't try to impress you on our first date. 1.2264 0.06398 53 42 10 1
3111 This. And how did you spend your quarantine? 1.2264 0.06942 53 43 8 2
3112 I’m sorry, what were you going to say? 1.2264 0.05804 53 41 12 0
3113 "Think this'll get the waiter's attention? 1.2264 0.05804 53 41 12 0
3114 Let me get the waiter’s attention 1.2264 0.06942 53 43 8 2
3115 I thought I’d add a little something to ‘table dance.’ 1.2264 0.06942 53 43 8 2
3116 When I say McGillicuddy, throw me your cup 1.2264 0.06942 53 43 8 2
3117 Sue was always a bit overzealous on a first date. 1.2264 0.05804 53 41 12 0
3118 You forgot the whipped cream. 1.2264 0.07447 53 44 6 3
3119 Dangerous? You’re the one sitting here unvaccinated. 1.2264 0.06398 53 42 10 1
3120 I can also juggle kids and a career if you want 1.2264 0.07447 53 44 6 3
3121 Sorry Dave, I’ve just got a lot on my plate right now 1.2264 0.07447 53 44 6 3
3122 This is just my opening act. Next time I will add a sword and be on a high wire 1.2262 0.05449 84 68 13 3
3123 Calliope or no I'm just glad I get to perform again. 1.2262 0.05449 84 68 13 3
3124 I bet he still asks for your order first. 1.2258 0.06264 62 50 10 2
3125 It really is easier than it looks. 1.2258 0.06264 62 50 10 2
3126 I want you as my booking agent, but you don't seem to be impressed. 1.2258 0.05826 62 49 12 1
3127 But I Can't chew Gum at the same Time... 1.2258 0.06673 62 51 8 3
3128 I don't know why I can't find Mr. Right. 1.2258 0.05826 62 49 12 1
3129 That’s impressive. But I’ll just have the tossed salad. 1.2258 0.06264 62 50 10 2
3130 When there's a waitress shortage, we get to dictate the terms. 1.2258 0.05826 62 49 12 1
3131 I liked the old days when you danced on the table. 1.2258 0.05826 62 49 12 1
3132 Seemed like the best way to let you know we are going to have another baby. 1.2258 0.06264 62 50 10 2
3133 You're great, but my hands are full at the moment. 1.2258 0.05826 62 49 12 1
3134 It was in my match profile.’ 1.2258 0.06264 62 50 10 2
3135 Pass me the child, would you? 1.2258 0.06264 62 50 10 2
3136 Whoopsie Daisy 1.2258 0.06264 62 50 10 2
3137 I'm telling you, that waiter is ignoring us" 1.2258 0.05540 93 77 11 5
3138 I thought I'd treat you to dinner and a show. 1.2258 0.06264 62 50 10 2
3139 Do you want fries or coleslaw with your weapons? 1.2258 0.06673 62 51 8 3
3140 Because you never really listen to me is why. 1.2258 0.05353 62 48 14 0
3141 Now hang onto your drink for the big finish. 1.2258 0.05826 62 49 12 1
3142 Dining indoors is getting riskier by the day. 1.2258 0.06264 62 50 10 2
3143 Is the food ready yet? 1.2258 0.05353 62 48 14 0
3144 Things are getting complicated between us. 1.2254 0.06406 71 59 8 4
3145 I thought "It's Just Lunch" was supposed to be low risk dating! 1.2254 0.05743 71 57 12 2
3146 Isn't this better than my cooking? 1.2254 0.06084 71 58 10 3
3147 Let’s play catch! 1.2254 0.05743 71 57 12 2
3148 I can also jump through hoops if you like that kind of thing… 1.2254 0.06406 71 59 8 4
3149 Ninety-nine bottles of beer on the wall, ninety-nine bottles of beer ... 1.2254 0.05382 71 56 14 1
3150 Mother always said pay your own way… 1.2254 0.05743 71 57 12 2
3151 ...and I like quiet evenings at home, moonlit walks on the beach, but don't ever ask me to make you quiche. 1.2254 0.05382 71 56 14 1
3152 I guess that's enough about me, tell me more about you! 1.2254 0.05382 71 56 14 1
3153 The hardest part is that I’m carrying the conversation too. 1.2254 0.06084 71 58 10 3
3154 Don’t worry Bob, I have plenty of room to juggle your ego too 1.2254 0.06406 71 59 8 4
3155 Boys are more talented than girls” he said 1.2254 0.05382 71 56 14 1
3156 I'm qualified to be a housewife. 1.2250 0.05893 80 66 10 4
3157 . "Lean forward so I'll get to smoothly include your Head." 1.2250 0.05893 80 66 10 4
3158 Oh, “you need a psychiatrist”… I thought you said ‘unicycle tricks’. 1.2250 0.05618 80 65 12 3
3159 Of course dear, I am a strategist in the Me Too movement... 1.2247 0.04990 89 71 16 2
3160 Would you mind tossing me my work laptop and the baby. 1.2247 0.05707 89 74 10 5
3161 Your Tinder profile listed entertainment as a must-have. 1.2245 0.08384 49 42 3 4
3162 In response to your question “What did I do today?” 1.2245 0.06691 49 39 9 1
3163 I know you wanted to go to Benihana, but let's make the best of it. 1.2245 0.07299 49 40 7 2
3164 Well...this was not exactly on my mind when I suggested a balancing act, sugar. 1.2245 0.07299 49 40 7 2
3165 Working from home hasn't made any difference to me. 1.2241 0.06046 58 46 11 1
3166 In case you were wondering, I can also cook.” 1.2241 0.05523 58 45 13 0
3167 Cirque Du Soufflé 1.2241 0.06046 58 46 11 1
3168 Like all working moms, I’ve learned to juggle things. 1.2241 0.06527 58 47 9 2
3169 Well, women do seem to be better at juggling. 1.2241 0.06976 58 48 7 3
3170 What can I fix you for dinner? 1.2241 0.06976 58 48 7 3
3171 Of course - I’m training for the Mom Multitasking Olympic competition. 1.2241 0.06976 58 48 7 3
3172 No, the restaurant doesn't cover my health insurance. 1.2241 0.06527 58 47 9 2
3173 I'm an acquired taste 1.2241 0.06527 58 47 9 2
3174 Politics. Why? 1.2241 0.06976 58 48 7 3
3175 Let's see, you can't remember to put the toilet seat down. I wonder what I'll forget? 1.2241 0.07396 58 49 5 4
3176 Since you forgot your wallet, I have to provide the entertain this evening. 1.2241 0.06046 58 46 11 1
3177 But my true passion is helping other people reach their goals. 1.2241 0.06046 58 46 11 1
3178 Do you bowl? 1.2241 0.06046 58 46 11 1
3179 Trust me, it’s easier than taking care of the kids while working 1.2241 0.06527 58 47 9 2
3180 I thought your profile said you were a ‘smuggler?’ 1.2241 0.06976 58 48 7 3
3181 Yeah, I couldn't decide between a flaming Sambuca, a highball or a Bloody Mary. What do you think? 1.2241 0.06527 58 47 9 2
3182 In case you were wondering what I’d bring to the table.” Ah, first dates are like job interviews 1.2241 0.06527 58 47 9 2
3183 You can't do this pedaling backwards in heels? 1.2239 0.05554 67 53 13 1
3184 It’s a performance piece. I call it “ode to 2020” 1.2239 0.05947 67 54 11 2
3185 Honey, in France I think you just have to pretend like you're writing something in the air and say the word 'check' in an exaggerated manner. 1.2239 0.05947 67 54 11 2
3186 The Benihana chef called in sick 1.2239 0.06316 67 55 9 3
3187 You’re either the bowling ball or the chainsaw. It doesn’t really affect the overall point I’m trying to get across. 1.2239 0.06316 67 55 9 3
3188 Dating is so risky. 1.2239 0.05131 67 52 15 0
3189 Hope you don't mind, but I always get nervous on the first date. 1.2239 0.05554 67 53 13 1
3190 I was voted Miss Versatility at the recent Miss Cosmos competition. 1.2239 0.05947 67 54 11 2
3191 This is easy. Juggling relationships.... 1.2239 0.05554 67 53 13 1
3192 On the count of three, throw your cup in the air 1.2239 0.06316 67 55 9 3
3193 After this, the restaurant will definitely get a review inThe New Yorker. 1.2239 0.05554 67 53 13 1
3194 I think it's called Adderall. 1.2239 0.05131 67 52 15 0
3195 And for my next trick, you’re single 1.2239 0.06665 67 56 7 4
3196 . I am training for the demonstration sport at the Paris 2024 Olympics. 1.2239 0.05947 67 54 11 2
3197 My life has been pretty ordinary up to now. How about you? 1.2239 0.05947 67 54 11 2
3198 sure throw your previous relationship trauma on, I can handle it 1.2239 0.05947 67 54 11 2
3199 It’s getting harder and harder to impress on first dates now days 1.2237 0.05493 76 61 13 2
3200 But enough about me - tell me a little bit about yourself. 1.2237 0.05493 76 61 13 2
3201 But can you still catch Covid?” 1.2237 0.05803 76 62 11 3
3202 See other people? Can other people do this Steve?? 1.2237 0.05493 76 61 13 2
3203 Oh, just something I picked up during quarantine. 1.2235 0.05391 85 69 13 3
3204 I had to do this to get my MBA... didn't you? 1.2235 0.05391 85 69 13 3
3205 So why do you find the checkbook so difficult 1.2222 0.06826 54 44 8 2
3206 And I know all the lyrics to "Hotel California." 1.2222 0.06324 72 60 8 4
3207 If you’re feeling brave, go ahead and call me “just a girl” again! 1.2222 0.06576 63 52 8 3
3208 It's easier than being a work-at-home mom during the pandemic. 1.2222 0.06826 54 44 8 2
3209 The bowling ball is vegan, the torch is locally sourced, and the chainsaw is gluten free. 1.2222 0.06324 72 60 8 4
3210 My next act is done backwards and in high heels. 1.2222 0.07320 54 45 6 3
3211 I can juggle all three if you ever cheat on me. 1.2222 0.06007 72 59 10 3
3212 I'm keeping a lot more than balls in the air these days. 1.2222 0.05711 54 42 12 0
3213 I really recommend you wear a mask at this restaurant!! 1.2222 0.06174 63 51 10 2
3214 'Cause I'm a woman - W-O-M-A-N! 1.2222 0.06293 54 43 10 1
3215 It’s my COVID version of Rock-Paper-Scissors. 1.2222 0.06826 54 44 8 2
3216 I'm waitressing here part-time while I work my way through Circus school. Now, what can I get ya? 1.2222 0.06293 54 43 10 1
3217 You were asking if I can multi-task? 1.2222 0.06826 54 44 8 2
3218 My day? Same old, same old. How was yours? 1.2222 0.07782 54 46 4 4
3219 What did you think I meant by "juggling work" ? 1.2222 0.05556 81 66 12 3
3220 I'm already prepared to juggle kids, housework, and a full-time job. This is a piece of cake! 1.2222 0.05827 81 67 10 4
3221 Now show me what you learned to do during the pandemic. 1.2222 0.05711 54 42 12 0
3222 Don’t you think you are going little far to impress me on our first date ? 1.2222 0.07320 54 45 6 3
3223 This is not as risky as eating the food. 1.2222 0.06174 63 51 10 2
3224 It's way more fun than creating another restaurant dining caption. (And requires much greater talent) 1.2222 0.07320 54 45 6 3
3225 The memory of this will last far longer than any tip, trust me. 1.2222 0.06576 63 52 8 3
3226 Sorry Ted, there's just not enough room in my life for you right now. 1.2222 0.06174 63 51 10 2
3227 I like you, Tom! And I have to admit, my luck with dating apps hasn't been all that great. 1.2222 0.05711 54 42 12 0
3228 She makes it all look so easy. 1.2222 0.04648 81 63 18 0
3229 All I asked was if your Tinder profile was real.” 1.2222 0.06826 54 44 8 2
3230 Are you the kind of guy whose glass is half empty or half full? 1.2222 0.05672 72 58 12 2
3231 Heads up. The saw starts automatically if I drop it. 1.2222 0.06174 63 51 10 2
3232 I've never done this on a first date before. 1.2222 0.04682 90 71 18 1
3233 I'm trying to develop a work-life balance. 1.2222 0.05672 72 58 12 2
3234 Double vaccinated do I’m feeling pretty confident 1.2222 0.06293 54 43 10 1
3235 At last, she got him off his phone. 1.2222 0.05672 72 58 12 2
3236 And still all they say is, "But her emails." 1.2222 0.05270 81 65 14 2
3237 Yup, women have to multi task 1.2222 0.06826 54 44 8 2
3238 Economist. Why? 1.2222 0.06826 54 44 8 2
3239 I can also sing and dance. 1.2222 0.06293 54 43 10 1
3240 OK, ok I get it. You need a vacation. 1.2222 0.06576 63 52 8 3
3241 When you get a chance, could you please pass the water? 1.2222 0.07782 54 46 4 4
3242 There's your fetish, now can I tell you mine? 1.2222 0.06324 72 60 8 4
3243 When I asked about your day, admittedly, I anticipated a verbal response." 1.2222 0.06293 54 43 10 1
3244 Fine, I’ll do the kids carpool tomorrow. 1.2222 0.06174 63 51 10 2
3245 This was not what I expected when I heard you are a good catch. 1.2222 0.05270 81 65 14 2
3246 Mom says I try too hard to impress my date. 1.2222 0.05711 54 42 12 0
3247 I'm starving for spaghetti - and attention. 1.2222 0.06954 63 53 6 4
3248 Is this what you meant by “ride or die” in your Tinder profile? 1.2222 0.06293 54 43 10 1
3249 I'll take the check now, please. 1.2222 0.06174 63 51 10 2
3250 Swipe right I said … 1.2222 0.06293 54 43 10 1
3251 My hobbies include bowling, gardening, biking, and arson. 1.2222 0.06324 72 60 8 4
3252 Welcome to our restaurant. Are you familiar with our concept? 1.2222 0.04934 72 56 16 0
3253 Preparing for 2022. 1.2222 0.06293 54 43 10 1
3254 This isn’t what I ordered 1.2222 0.05316 72 57 14 1
3255 Just another day at the office 1.2222 0.05556 81 66 12 3
3256 I do love the circus but if I had the choice again, I would swipe left. 1.2222 0.06826 54 44 8 2
3257 I can juggle everything but a relationship. 1.2222 0.05280 63 49 14 0
3258 And after all of this, they still gave Brad the promotion. 1.2211 0.05223 95 78 13 4
3259 I find that this really helps with my first-date jitters. 1.2208 0.05429 77 62 13 2
3260 You bring speed dating to a whole new level 1.2208 0.05429 77 62 13 2
3261 Sorry. When I get nervous I just have to move around. 1.2208 0.05104 77 61 15 1
3262 This is so much easier than relearning how to have a conversation 1.2208 0.05104 77 61 15 1
3263 I ALSO enforce the COVID vaccination policy! 1.2206 0.06574 68 57 7 4
3264 The Lobster Thermidor didn't turn out, but how about this? 1.2206 0.06231 68 56 9 3
3265 Let's cut to the chase. This is what you men all want, right? 1.2206 0.06231 68 56 9 3
3266 And this is how my week went. 1.2206 0.05869 68 55 11 2
3267 I try not to show you all my tricks on the first date. 1.2206 0.06231 68 56 9 3
3268 Say when. 1.2206 0.05482 68 54 13 1
3269 I'm sorry, did you think this was a restaurant? 1.2206 0.05482 68 54 13 1
3270 Refill? 1.2206 0.06574 68 57 7 4
3271 Next Stop.... My Plaaace... 1.2206 0.05869 68 55 11 2
3272 Rock, paper, scissors, match. 1.2206 0.06231 68 56 9 3
3273 Don't get me wrong, my cellphone is out of charge and this moment requires a little balance 1.2206 0.05482 68 54 13 1
3274 Sorry Linda, its not you, its me.... 1.2206 0.05482 68 54 13 1
3275 You mixologists are really stepping it up now, huh 1.2206 0.05482 68 54 13 1
3276 You only told me not to play with my FOOD at the table. 1.2203 0.05442 59 46 13 0
3277 Please, stop. I promise, we’ll have a second date. 1.2203 0.06867 59 49 7 3
3278 I don't have a pickup line; I do this instead. 1.2203 0.06867 59 49 7 3
3279 Now this is my idea of foreplay! 1.2203 0.06867 59 49 7 3
3280 Before you mentally swipe left, hand me your glass of water. 1.2203 0.05955 59 47 11 1
3281 See? We CAN do it all. 1.2203 0.05955 59 47 11 1
3282 I'm used to singing for my supper 1.2203 0.05955 59 47 11 1
3283 Wow, you do three different Fantasy Football leagues? How do you juggle all that? 1.2203 0.06867 59 49 7 3
3284 You know what got me here? Title IX. 1.2203 0.05955 59 47 11 1
3285 It took years of practice, but the awe it inspires makes it all worthwhile. 1.2203 0.06427 59 48 9 2
3286 Tell the waiter I'll have the flaming volcano. 1.2203 0.06867 59 49 7 3
3287 Sorry, I just get a bit nervous on dates. This helps me relax. 1.2203 0.05955 59 47 11 1
3288 Didn’t you see multi-tasker in my profile? 1.2203 0.05955 59 47 11 1
3289 Mother told me you won’t get a second chance to make a first impression. 1.2203 0.05955 59 47 11 1
3290 I was worried about your increased tolerance for bordom. 1.2203 0.05955 59 47 11 1
3291 And now for my next trick—tossed salad. 1.2203 0.06427 59 48 9 2
3292 Is THIS what it takes to get him to swipe right? Online dating—ugh. 1.2203 0.06867 59 49 7 3
3293 It’s just a little hobby I picked up during the lockdown. 1.2203 0.06867 59 49 7 3
3294 On a count of three, hand me your glass. 1.2203 0.06427 59 48 9 2
3295 It’s an extra $30 if you want to enjoy my tricks under the table. 1.2203 0.06427 59 48 9 2
3296 ...And you said you were scared of Covid! 1.2203 0.06427 59 48 9 2
3297 Your Paella is almost done 1.2203 0.06867 59 49 7 3
3298 Tinder tip : first impression is key 1.2203 0.06867 59 49 7 3
3299 You wrote on Tinder that you were looking for a multitasker, right? 1.2203 0.06867 59 49 7 3
3300 And I filed for divorce at the same time! 1.2203 0.06867 59 49 7 3
3301 When you see how well I manage them, my red flags are actually an asset. 1.2203 0.07280 59 50 5 4
3302 Conjuring like a magician while you sit as a critic. 1.2203 0.05955 59 47 11 1
3303 Don't just do something. Sit there! 1.2203 0.06427 59 48 9 2
3304 I'm a single mom who works two jobs and takes care of my 90 years old father. No sweat. 1.2203 0.06867 59 49 7 3
3305 Yikes. And I thought prepandemic dating was a clown show…” @missautio 🤡 🤡 😂 1.2203 0.06427 59 48 9 2
3306 Here I was thinking you weren’t going to turn up 1.2203 0.06427 59 48 9 2
3307 In this metaphor, what’s kids, what’s career, and what’s the patriarchy? 1.2200 0.07166 50 41 7 2
3308 Sure, what did you want to talk about? 1.2200 0.07166 50 41 7 2
3309 So to sum it up, this is how 2021 is going for me. 1.2200 0.07166 50 41 7 2
3310 No, really, most women have no problem doing this. 1.2200 0.07166 50 41 7 2
3311 Don’t worry, fella. It’s safer in here than it is outside. 1.2200 0.06571 50 40 9 1
3312 I mostly work on balancing the books 1.2200 0.06571 50 40 9 1
3313 I find it to be very meditative. 1.2195 0.05213 82 66 14 2
3314 Getting your server's attention has taken on a new meaning. 1.2192 0.04875 73 57 16 0
3315 Yes, but can you flip a burger? 1.2192 0.05602 73 59 12 2
3316 You might not want to sit so close while I'm doing this. 1.2192 0.04875 73 57 16 0
3317 It started with not wearing a mask for dates, but soon that just wasn't enough! 1.2192 0.05251 73 58 14 1
3318 Sure, I could do this while wearing a mask....hand me one! 1.2192 0.05602 73 59 12 2
3319 Should I be letting her juggle it all by herself? 1.2192 0.05932 73 60 10 3
3320 You cannot get the waiter's attention anyhow, so I'll try dropping the non-stop running saw. 1.2192 0.05932 73 60 10 3
3321 What I hear you saying is--you really want to help--but doing the dishes, plus bath time, story time and bedtime on Thursday nights is too much to juggle now that you're back in the office. 1.2192 0.05251 73 58 14 1
3322 Perhaps when you learn to juggle these we can talk about having children 1.2192 0.04875 73 57 16 0
3323 And now watch as I also make dinner, feed the goldfish, and answer my emails 1.2192 0.05932 73 60 10 3
3324 As impressive as this is...I had already said yes to a second date 1.2192 0.06244 73 61 8 4
3325 Are you entertained? 1.2192 0.05251 73 58 14 1
3326 So, your proposal would change my focus to marriage, children, and household duties? Let me get back to you. 1.2188 0.05665 64 51 12 1
3327 I bet you didn't list all of your hobbies and interests on your dating profile either. 1.2188 0.06087 64 52 10 2
3328 Dinner isn’t ready because I’ve been juggling things all day 1.2188 0.06087 64 52 10 2
3329 The only trick to this is getting the chain to continue rotating when it's in the air 1.2188 0.06087 64 52 10 2
3330 I just got the promotion - from street corner to table top 1.2188 0.05665 64 51 12 1
3331 Now will you love me? 1.2188 0.05208 64 50 14 0
3332 Told you I was good at multitasking 1.2188 0.05208 64 50 14 0
3333 I don't like small talk. 1.2188 0.05208 64 50 14 0
3334 I can't marry you, Sheldon. My career has to come first. 1.2188 0.05665 64 51 12 1
3335 And for my next trick, I'll fix the gender pay gap! 1.2188 0.05665 64 51 12 1
3336 Dangerous? Yeah, I can handle dangerous. 1.2188 0.06087 64 52 10 2
3337 Concentrate on the objects and ignore my coughing 1.2188 0.06087 64 52 10 2
3338 Hopefully this crude demonstration illuminates the areas of our relationship needing improvement. 1.2188 0.06087 64 52 10 2
3339 Hand me my purse, will you? 1.2188 0.05208 64 50 14 0
3340 You said, let’s catch a show. 1.2188 0.06853 64 54 6 4
3341 I call this one 'parenting.' 1.2188 0.05665 64 51 12 1
3342 Well, you asked what I do in my spare time. 1.2188 0.05208 64 50 14 0
3343 You see? I've been training my whole life to be a working mom. 1.2188 0.05665 64 51 12 1
3344 And, in college, I plan to major in International Diplomacy. 1.2188 0.06087 64 52 10 2
3345 I'm not sure it's safe to drink the water here. 1.2188 0.05208 64 50 14 0
3346 You wanted to see what my life is like. 1.2188 0.06087 64 52 10 2
3347 When I said I wanted dinner and a show, this is not what I had in mind. 1.2188 0.06853 64 54 6 4
3348 But what I really want to do is direct! 1.2188 0.06087 64 52 10 2
3349 Relearning how to socialize after COVID has been a bit more difficult for some of us. 1.2188 0.06087 64 52 10 2
3350 And did I add that I'm menstruating too? 1.2188 0.05208 64 50 14 0
3351 Can you believe this?! They told me I'm over qualified! 1.2188 0.06481 64 53 8 3
3352 Fine–YOU try getting the waiter's attention. 1.2182 0.06712 55 45 8 2
3353 Finally got you off your phone at the table. 1.2182 0.06191 55 44 10 1
3354 Remember when you asked if I’d fool around on the first date…? 1.2182 0.05620 55 43 12 0
3355 Do you think I can turn on the chain saw in mid-air? 1.2182 0.06712 55 45 8 2
3356 We have to be more entertaining than Benihana because we don't know how to cook anything. 1.2182 0.06712 55 45 8 2
3357 The hooded guy with the scythe was just so last century. 1.2182 0.06191 55 44 10 1
3358 I learned a lot during the pandemic. 1.2182 0.06191 55 44 10 1
3359 Oh yeah? Well you don't look like your profile pictures either. 1.2182 0.06712 55 45 8 2
3360 I get so nervous on first dates 1.2182 0.06191 55 44 10 1
3361 We had to find some way of increasing the risk of dining during a pandemic. 1.2182 0.06191 55 44 10 1
3362 Of course I love you, Silly. I'm just terrified of commitments. 1.2182 0.06191 55 44 10 1
3363 They say they'll be making this an Olympic event! 1.2182 0.07650 55 47 4 4
3364 That's nice Dear, but when will dinner be ready? 1.2182 0.07197 55 46 6 3
3365 This is as diverse as I get 1.2182 0.06191 55 44 10 1
3366 See, balancing your hobbies like barbecue, bowling, and power tools with all the other dangers is easy, Jeff. Try being a Mother!l 1.2182 0.06712 55 45 8 2
3367 Did I mention what happened to my last date? 1.2182 0.06712 55 45 8 2
3368 Who, me? I’m sick of the drama. All I focus on these days is being in balance. 1.2182 0.07197 55 46 6 3
3369 I don’t recall seeing this on your dating profile. 1.2182 0.05620 55 43 12 0
3370 Technically, everyone’s identity is a performance 1.2182 0.07197 55 46 6 3
3371 And this is what being a single woman and mother in a pandemic in 2021 feels like without words 1.2182 0.06191 55 44 10 1
3372 This is the only way I can relax after my shift at the children’s petting zoo. 1.2182 0.06712 55 45 8 2
3373 Your dating profile said that you have a hard time picking up on the subtle social cues women use to let you know they are interested in you. 1.2179 0.05366 78 63 13 2
3374 I'm a little nervous cause I dropped one on my last first date. 1.2179 0.05366 78 63 13 2
3375 Actually, eating indoors is the bigger stunt. 1.2179 0.05046 78 62 15 1
3376 I can keep going while you tell me about your day! 1.2179 0.05954 78 65 9 4
3377 Oh no, this is all prior to the pandemic. I haven't had a date or worked in five years" 1.2179 0.05954 78 65 9 4
3378 I used to stress to impress dates, but now I just have fun with it. 1.2174 0.06149 46 36 10 0
3379 Please,dear. You don't have to do all this. I'm sure my Mother will love you! 1.2174 0.06149 69 57 9 3
3380 I wouldn’t worry about dropping the ball. 1.2174 0.06486 69 58 7 4
3381 I like to show off on a first date. 1.2174 0.05411 69 55 13 1
3382 I'm going to let go of these one at a time, so be ready to catch them. 1.2174 0.05792 69 56 11 2
3383 I thought about getting vaccinated but it seems a little risky. 1.2174 0.06890 46 37 8 1
3384 I act like this when I’m on my cycle. 1.2174 0.06807 69 59 5 5
3385 Imagine a date where a female tells the truth about being a female. 1.2174 0.07558 46 38 6 2
3386 I'm working my way up to my responsibilities. 1.2174 0.05411 69 55 13 1
3387 When I asked if you were thirsty, I meant for a drink. 1.2174 0.05002 69 54 15 0
3388 As you can see, this is not a routine tabletop exercise 1.2174 0.05411 69 55 13 1
3389 There won’t be a second date…she just wasn’t that exciting, you know what I mean? 1.2174 0.05411 69 55 13 1
3390 When I first saw you, you bowled me over, I thought you were my match. You need to bring more to the table to balance this relationship. 1.2174 0.05792 69 56 11 2
3391 You looked taller in your profile picture 1.2174 0.06149 69 57 9 3
3392 and wait till you see what I can do with Ping Pong Balls 1.2169 0.05434 83 68 12 3
3393 I don’t usually do this on a first date, but you’re different” 1.2169 0.05434 83 68 12 3
3394 -...and that is what I mean it can't be anything more dangerous than that vaccine... 1.2169 0.05434 83 68 12 3
3395 I don't usually ride the unicycle on a first date. 1.2167 0.06761 60 50 7 3
3396 No, I don't think I'm high maintenance. 1.2167 0.06330 60 49 9 2
3397 I’m so glad they added a talent section to the dating app! 1.2167 0.06330 60 49 9 2
3398 I hope that answers your question.. how have you been? 1.2167 0.05867 60 48 11 1
3399 Why not join me, here you can start with the saw! 1.2167 0.06761 60 50 7 3
3400 Ma’am this is a Chiles 1.2167 0.05867 60 48 11 1
3401 Can you, at least, carry half of the conversation? 1.2167 0.05363 60 47 13 0
3402 Once I have mastered this, I will begin doing it with the chainsaw running! 1.2167 0.06330 60 49 9 2
3403 The encore is food you'd die for! 1.2167 0.05867 60 48 11 1
3404 Rock Paper Scissors is better 1.2167 0.05867 60 48 11 1
3405 My grandmother taught me this right before she died. 1.2167 0.06761 60 50 7 3
3406 Ok, I’m not on my phone, what did you want to talk about? 1.2167 0.05867 60 48 11 1
3407 You probably thought this was non-smoking, right? 1.2167 0.05867 60 48 11 1
3408 One for the money... two for the show... three to get ready... oops! 1.2167 0.06330 60 49 9 2
3409 I’m still up in the air about dessert. 1.2167 0.06761 60 50 7 3
3410 I need seven unbiased critiques to get a complete in this course. 1.2167 0.05867 60 48 11 1
3411 You know, I used to have to do this in a dress and heels. 1.2167 0.07167 60 51 5 4
3412 I multi-task all the time. 1.2167 0.05363 60 47 13 0
3413 I didn't order any of these 1.2167 0.06761 60 50 7 3
3414 Mildred went all out on her first date with Norman. 1.2167 0.05363 60 47 13 0
3415 I was thinking you might enjoy a choice in how you die . 1.2167 0.06761 60 50 7 3
3416 It's called multi-tasking. 1.2167 0.05867 60 48 11 1
3417 I’ve been told my personality isn’t so dazzling, so I’ve got to make do. 1.2167 0.06330 60 49 9 2
3418 I could add your head to the mix." 1.2167 0.06330 60 49 9 2
3419 Our speciality is the tossed salad. I highly recommend it 1.2167 0.06330 60 49 9 2
3420 I don't have the toys that the other girls have. 1.2167 0.05867 60 48 11 1
3421 Actually, the hard part is avoiding the glass of water. 1.2167 0.05363 60 47 13 0
3422 Since you asked, I’ll have a shot of tequila 1.2167 0.06761 60 50 7 3
3423 In here, a meal is a multi-sensory experience 1.2167 0.06761 60 50 7 3
3424 You know what, I don’t need to get out more. 1.2167 0.06330 60 49 9 2
3425 I couldn’t afford another streaming service, so this was the next best option 1.2167 0.05867 60 48 11 1
3426 Allison had realised that words alone couldn't convey her stress levels to Martin. 1.2167 0.05867 60 48 11 1
3427 It was a lot of work but going back to get my MBA in Circusery was totally worth it 1.2167 0.05867 60 48 11 1
3428 I still find balancing my career and family tougher. 1.2167 0.05867 60 48 11 1
3429 Not bad for a first date. I'll swipe right. 1.2162 0.05533 74 60 12 2
3430 the hardest part is not bunching the tablecloth 1.2162 0.05858 74 61 10 3
3431 My mother always said you were a side show act. 1.2162 0.05533 74 60 12 2
3432 I have these tools at my fingertips, just to get that out of the way.... 1.2159 0.05927 88 75 7 6
3433 The service her is slow but we try to keep you entertained 1.2157 0.06456 51 41 9 1
3434 It was this or learn German during the lock down. 1.2157 0.05817 51 40 11 0
3435 don't worry ! i can see a small bit in my left eye .right one not so good. 1.2157 0.06456 51 41 9 1
3436 Slapping a twenty in my palm makes me disappear! 1.2157 0.06456 51 41 9 1
3437 What did you expect from #showboat as a handle? 1.2157 0.05817 51 40 11 0
3438 Rock...paper...chainsaw 1.2157 0.08075 51 44 3 4
3439 and that's how to maintain work-life balance, Mark 1.2157 0.07037 51 42 7 2
3440 Now on the count of three, Raymond, have mercy and toss me that bottle of Ritalin. 1.2157 0.06456 51 41 9 1
3441 Second date,then? 1.2154 0.06002 65 53 10 2
3442 I'm trying to get my skills honed for back to school madness. 1.2154 0.05587 65 52 12 1
3443 When I say 'three,' toss me the baby. 1.2154 0.05587 65 52 12 1
3444 Thanks for getting your own glass of water. 1.2154 0.06390 65 54 8 3
3445 You're a man. It's different for you. 1.2154 0.05587 65 52 12 1
3446 Now would you swipe right? 1.2154 0.05587 65 52 12 1
3447 Look what I've learned to do whilst waiting for service! 1.2154 0.06002 65 53 10 2
3448 Have I made a favorable impression? ‘LIKE ME’ on Facebook! 1.2154 0.06002 65 53 10 2
3449 See what I learned during the pandemic! 1.2154 0.05139 65 51 14 0
3450 When I ordered the 'Unicycle Juggler', I thought it was a drink. 1.2154 0.06002 65 53 10 2
3451 And I cook, too. 1.2154 0.05139 65 51 14 0
3452 I'm playing with the idea of having kids... 1.2154 0.05587 65 52 12 1
3453 Just my way of maintaining social distancing on a first date. 1.2154 0.06390 65 54 8 3
3454 Ok, I got his attention. You better be ready to order this time! 1.2154 0.06002 65 53 10 2
3455 AND I'm unvaccinated. 1.2154 0.06390 65 54 8 3
3456 Next time I'll switch the bowling ball for a fire extinguisher. 1.2154 0.05587 65 52 12 1
3457 So, how d'ya like your stake? 1.2154 0.06390 65 54 8 3
3458 What,do I have to do this backwards in heals,too? 1.2154 0.06002 65 53 10 2
3459 We’re done with small talk, Noah. 1.2154 0.06390 65 54 8 3
3460 I just pretend it’s my job, chores and family! 1.2154 0.05587 65 52 12 1
3461 So what do I have to do to get a drink around here? 1.2154 0.06390 65 54 8 3
3462 That’s cool. But can you cook? 1.2154 0.05587 65 52 12 1
3463 What it takes to pay the bills in this town! 1.2154 0.06390 65 54 8 3
3464 Can you write me a list? 1.2154 0.05587 65 52 12 1
3465 After this, I've just got to pick up the kids and then I can get started on dinner. 1.2154 0.06390 65 54 8 3
3466 Oh that's what her Tinder profile meant when she said "she could juggle lots of things". 1.2154 0.06390 65 54 8 3
3467 It’s no more dangerous than juggling my career, all of the parenting, and this house by myself. 1.2154 0.05587 65 52 12 1
3468 Still safer than not getting the vaccine... 1.2154 0.05587 65 52 12 1
3469 As you can see, I wasn’t lying on my online dating profile 1.2154 0.06002 65 53 10 2
3470 How did you recognize me? 1.2152 0.05603 79 65 11 3
3471 Feeling inadequate? 1.2152 0.05305 79 64 13 2
3472 It's my one magic trick. 1.2152 0.05603 79 65 11 3
3473 Yes,it's called "post-covid over-enthusiasm" 1.2152 0.05885 79 66 9 4
3474 Well, at least you weren’t lying on your tinder profile 1.2152 0.04990 79 63 15 1
3475 The shouts of concern for your safety from the other diners help restore my faith in humanity. That they're shouting 'My God, man, put on your mask' - not so much. 1.2151 0.05036 93 76 14 3
3476 You'll have to imagine the clown makeup. 1.2143 0.04412 98 78 19 1
3477 Will you marry me? 1.2143 0.06091 56 45 10 1
3478 Now do I look like my profile picture? 1.2143 0.06091 56 45 10 1
3479 Consider it practice for motherhood. 1.2143 0.06603 56 46 8 2
3480 So we’ve got to put on an act now with speed dating? 1.2143 0.05342 70 56 13 1
3481 Second date or get out. 1.2143 0.05533 56 44 12 0
3482 My wife is not going to believe this, when she gets back from the Rest Room. 1.2143 0.07078 56 47 6 3
3483 I'm impressed, but when you said you were athletic in your profile online, I was thinking you were into jogging, tennis or swimming. 1.2143 0.05717 70 57 11 2
3484 Nothing. What's new with you? 1.2143 0.06400 70 59 7 4
3485 Trust me, you don't want me singing for my supper 1.2143 0.06603 56 46 8 2
3486 I have many other talents you should consider if you’d like to date me 1.2143 0.06068 70 58 9 3
3487 Do you only date exhibitionists? 1.2143 0.05533 56 44 12 0
3488 The dog and pony show wasn't working. 1.2143 0.06603 56 46 8 2
3489 And you can’t balance a checkbook? 1.2143 0.05717 70 57 11 2
3490 How do you like practicing our trust exercise? 1.2143 0.06091 56 45 10 1
3491 Clearly, you didn't read my entire profile. 1.2143 0.06091 56 45 10 1
3492 I've found this makes the waiters more attentive. 1.2143 0.05533 56 44 12 0
3493 So, tell me about your new lockdown hobbies. 1.2143 0.06091 56 45 10 1
3494 So, when's our next date? 1.2143 0.06091 56 45 10 1
3495 Wait till you see what I can do in bed! 1.2143 0.05636 84 70 10 4
3496 It’s a great act, but I know someone will ask why I don’t wear a mask. 1.2143 0.06068 70 58 9 3
3497 Hmmm yes, but can you do it backwards and in heels? 1.2143 0.06400 70 59 7 4
3498 Adding kids to this routine would be a snap 1.2143 0.06068 70 58 9 3
3499 I dare you to ask me what’s for dinner 1.2143 0.06068 70 58 9 3
3500 Mind you, this would be a lot more impressive if they let me turn on the chainsaw. 1.2143 0.07078 56 47 6 3
3501 I'm picking up hobbies so quickly that I've had to learn to juggle them. 1.2143 0.05342 70 56 13 1
3502 Close! I’m from Louisiana! 1.2143 0.06091 56 45 10 1
3503 Dinner Karamozoff 1.2143 0.06091 56 45 10 1
3504 I'm sorry, but I thought it might help get the conversation going. 1.2143 0.05342 70 56 13 1
3505 Me? No way. You can't be sure it's safe until the FDA gives full approval. 1.2143 0.06091 56 45 10 1
3506 I didn't know this is what you meant by you had "baggage". 1.2143 0.05533 56 44 12 0
3507 Can you type?” 1.2143 0.06603 56 46 8 2
3508 So what are you bringing to the relationship? 1.2143 0.06603 56 46 8 2
3509 See, I told you the picture on my dating profile wasn't fake. 1.2143 0.06091 56 45 10 1
3510 Look! I’m performing toxic masculinity. 1.2143 0.07522 56 48 4 4
3511 Are you gonna take a picture or what? 1.2143 0.06716 70 60 5 5
3512 How was the date?” “She put on a good show there were some red flags. 1.2143 0.07078 56 47 6 3
3513 Work- life balance is totally possible... 1.2143 0.05342 70 56 13 1
3514 Nice, but what's for dinner? 1.2143 0.06603 56 46 8 2
3515 I added the chainsaw during quarantine 1.2143 0.06091 56 45 10 1
3516 ...and then after Wesleyan I did a Fulbright in Spain, then got hired at McKinsey. Having spent 28 years in a meritocratic bubble, I think of dating as a competition too, so if things go south between us, I'll just tell myself you're a fucking loser. 1.2133 0.04762 75 59 16 0
3517 Just a little entertainment for the anti-vaxxers recruitment rally this week. 1.2133 0.05787 75 62 10 3
3518 Can you throw me the glass, Harry? 1.2133 0.05787 75 62 10 3
3519 Don’t just sit there, dance! 1.2133 0.05467 75 61 12 2
3520 I don't like talking about work on a first date. 1.2131 0.05287 61 48 13 0
3521 Well, have I caught the waiter's eye yet? 1.2131 0.06235 61 50 9 2
3522 Not what Tom thought "Can juggle a lot" meant on Match.com." 1.2131 0.06235 61 50 9 2
3523 Do you promise to not "drop the ball" if i say i'm impressed? 1.2131 0.06235 61 50 9 2
3524 This ain’t nothing; my regular day job is being an ICU Nurse. 1.2131 0.05287 61 48 13 0
3525 I'll get the waiter's attention... 1.2131 0.06235 61 50 9 2
3526 I’ll just bring the amuse bouche then 1.2131 0.07057 61 52 5 4
3527 Hungry? I can throw something together 1.2131 0.05287 61 48 13 0
3528 I have got to change dating apps… 1.2131 0.05780 61 49 11 1
3529 What did you learn in the pandemic? 1.2131 0.06235 61 50 9 2
3530 And for my next act: Motherhood. 1.2131 0.05780 61 49 11 1
3531 You need to sit still. 1.2131 0.06235 61 50 9 2
3532 So tell me more about yourself 1.2131 0.05780 61 49 11 1
3533 ‘Tired of failed first dates, Debbie decided to put it all on the table.’ 1.2131 0.05780 61 49 11 1
3534 You could call me a triple threat 1.2131 0.06659 61 51 7 3
3535 And this is just our FIRST date! 1.2128 0.06757 47 38 8 1
3536 So I said to myself, take a chance on this online dating service. What could possibly go wrong? 1.2128 0.06757 47 38 8 1
3537 You said I should try to get the waiter's attention. 1.2128 0.08010 47 40 4 3
3538 I'm practicing for Burning man! 1.2128 0.06034 47 37 10 0
3539 So long story short, during lockdown, I decided to learn something new. 1.2125 0.04934 80 64 15 1
3540 I'm taking a break from tending to you and the kids. 1.2125 0.05817 80 67 9 4
3541 My, your job sounds so challenging! 1.2125 0.05245 80 65 13 2
3542 Can you pass me the menu? 1.2125 0.04934 80 64 15 1
3543 Would you like me to add a broom? 1.2125 0.04934 80 64 15 1
3544 My job is a real circus. 1.2125 0.05539 80 66 11 3
3545 I was feeling outdone by covid, climate change and the Bennu asteroid. 1.2125 0.05245 80 65 13 2
3546 I’ve got a lot on my plate right now. 1.2121 0.06301 66 55 8 3
3547 This should get our waiter's attention. 1.2121 0.06301 66 55 8 3
3548 I must have neglected to mention this in my Bumble profile. 1.2121 0.05919 66 54 10 2
3549 It is because it makes me feel well balanced, sharp, on the ball and like I'm hot stuff, that's why. 1.2121 0.06660 66 56 6 4
3550 We all have to multi task during the workforce shortage 1.2121 0.05511 66 53 12 1
3551 What was it like getting the kids off to school for their first day? 1.2121 0.05919 66 54 10 2
3552 It's just what all women do. 1.2121 0.06301 66 55 8 3
3553 Why didn't you say you didn't like pony tails before we met? 1.2121 0.05071 66 52 14 0
3554 Oh, you still need to hear about my FICO score? 1.2121 0.06301 66 55 8 3
3555 There's a lot of competition to get the waiter's attention these days. 1.2121 0.05919 66 54 10 2
3556 So, do you have any siblings? 1.2121 0.05919 66 54 10 2
3557 No! The chainsaw's fine as long you don't switch it - Damn. 1.2121 0.05919 66 54 10 2
3558 I'll be an excellent mother, I am all about third way feminism 1.2121 0.05919 66 54 10 2
3559 I add a jackhammer on a second date. 1.2115 0.05719 52 41 11 0
3560 Toss me your glass and I’ll get you a refill. 1.2115 0.06913 52 43 7 2
3561 Knock me up so I have one more thing to juggle! 1.2115 0.06344 52 42 9 1
3562 Well, I only resort to this on the first date if the conversation really tanks. 1.2115 0.07438 52 44 5 3
3563 So, what exactly did you say I was auditioning for? 1.2115 0.05719 52 41 11 0
3564 I've been juggling a lot lately. 1.2115 0.06344 52 42 9 1
3565 I know a first date can seem like an audition, but this feels right. 1.2115 0.06344 52 42 9 1
3566 This is my favorite part of the date. 1.2115 0.05719 52 41 11 0
3567 So when do I get to meet your mother? 1.2115 0.06344 52 42 9 1
3568 But can you toss a pizza? 1.2115 0.07438 52 44 5 3
3569 Really, a cupcake with a candle would have been fine. 1.2115 0.06344 52 42 9 1
3570 Feel free to step in to help at anytime. 1.2115 0.07438 52 44 5 3
3571 I call this “metaphor for what it takes to make it in a man’s world in D minor” 1.2115 0.06913 52 43 7 2
3572 So you are down to clown? 1.2113 0.06317 71 60 7 4
3573 Got a light? 1.2113 0.05644 71 58 11 2
3574 It was either this or get vaccinated. 1.2113 0.05990 71 59 9 3
3575 Your dinner will be right out 1.2113 0.05644 71 58 11 2
3576 When the check arrives. Throw it up & I'll see if I can handle it. 1.2113 0.05644 71 58 11 2
3577 She read in the job post, “creative thinker with ability to multi-task.” Nailed it! 1.2113 0.05990 71 59 9 3
3578 ...And that's what I do for a living. 1.2113 0.06317 71 60 7 4
3579 I also enjoy watching sports on TV, mixing cocktails and playing poker. Is our five minutes up yet? 1.2113 0.05990 71 59 9 3
3580 That's one tough balancing act 1.2113 0.05990 71 59 9 3
3581 So, I'm a paralegal who's also a working mom. . . 1.2113 0.05644 71 58 11 2
3582 Maybe he won’t notice my pictures were photoshopped. 1.2113 0.05644 71 58 11 2
3583 Far be it from me to kink shame, it's just this is the first date. 1.2113 0.05644 71 58 11 2
3584 I haven’t been in a date since since 2019…is this how it’s done? 1.2113 0.06317 71 60 7 4
3585 Our special today is one char-broiled, hand-cut duck ball. 1.2105 0.06963 57 48 6 3
3586 Eeny, meeny, miny, moe" 1.2105 0.07399 57 49 4 4
3587 Oh yeah. I also tested positive for coronavirus. 1.2105 0.05995 57 46 10 1
3588 The pole dancer took the night off. 1.2105 0.05995 57 46 10 1
3589 Susan tried everything to win his affection 1.2105 0.05067 76 61 14 1
3590 So after being denied tenure a third time, I realized I needed to look elsewhere. 1.2105 0.05995 57 46 10 1
3591 I learned how to do this during lockdown. 1.2105 0.06497 57 47 8 2
3592 How’s this for a first date? 1.2105 0.05448 57 45 12 0
3593 I told you I'm really good at juggling balls and a long tool. 1.2105 0.06497 57 47 8 2
3594 I multitask... you? 1.2105 0.05402 76 62 12 2
3595 I wouldn't call it "Danger" 1.2105 0.05402 76 62 12 2
3596 You're right, I should just play with fire. 1.2105 0.06963 57 48 6 3
3597 I also love to travel and take long walks on the beach. 1.2105 0.05067 76 61 14 1
3598 Looks risky, but it's actually safer than not wearing a mask in crowded spaces." 1.2105 0.06497 57 47 8 2
3599 Oh. I'll get our waiters attention. 1.2105 0.05995 57 46 10 1
3600 Believe me, it's easier than juggling relationships. 1.2105 0.05995 57 46 10 1
3601 You know, Russell, the really challenging part of all this is being thrilled you're here. 1.2105 0.06497 57 47 8 2
3602 What I do all day with the kids 1.2105 0.05402 76 62 12 2
3603 Not really. It's actually much easier than juggling COVID protocols. 1.2105 0.06963 57 48 6 3
3604 Ma la cena è pronta? 1.2105 0.05995 57 46 10 1
3605 I can show you how to do that. 1.2105 0.07399 57 49 4 4
3606 It’s really not that hard if you already know how unicycle and juggle the torch and chainsaw 1.2105 0.05995 57 46 10 1
3607 A day in the life of a typical woman. 1.2105 0.05448 57 45 12 0
3608 How did you say did you spend the lockdown? 1.2105 0.05995 57 46 10 1
3609 My ex was a clown. 1.2105 0.05995 57 46 10 1
3610 Have I ever heard of Adderall? Why? 1.2105 0.05995 57 46 10 1
3611 Oh SPEED dating 1.2105 0.06497 57 47 8 2
3612 My coach at work says that the surest way to lose your balance is to focus on what could go wrong. 1.2105 0.05717 76 63 10 3
3613 My friends said I should be less shy on first dates. 1.2105 0.05995 57 46 10 1
3614 I call this “2020 in review” 1.2105 0.06963 57 48 6 3
3615 Just getting shit done while waiting for my appetizer. 1.2105 0.05448 57 45 12 0
3616 I love the freedom of these new outdoor restaurants 1.2105 0.06963 57 48 6 3
3617 Ok, I get it, my quarantine hobbies were boring. 1.2099 0.04880 81 65 15 1
3618 I really should be wearing a N95 Mask when I do this. 1.2097 0.06143 62 51 9 2
3619 No, I've never been to the circus. Why do you ask? 1.2097 0.06560 62 52 7 3
3620 It beats talking about your ex. 1.2097 0.06143 62 51 9 2
3621 I know, but the tips are better. 1.2097 0.05212 62 49 13 0
3622 Where did the hand grenade go? 1.2097 0.06143 62 51 9 2
3623 My therapist wants me to come out of my shell. 1.2097 0.06560 62 52 7 3
3624 And I’d like five kids 1.2097 0.05697 62 50 11 1
3625 And what would YOU bring to a relationship? 1.2097 0.06143 62 51 9 2
3626 Get me a salad. I'm trying to eat healthier. 1.2097 0.06560 62 52 7 3
3627 This usually gets the waitstaff's attention 1.2097 0.05697 62 50 11 1
3628 So, what I meant when I said ‘dinner and a show’ … 1.2097 0.06143 62 51 9 2
3629 I'm not much of a cook, Tom, but ... 1.2097 0.06143 62 51 9 2
3630 how'd I do for first date impression? 1.2097 0.05212 62 49 13 0
3631 Would you like an encore performance or should I just bring your food? 1.2097 0.05697 62 50 11 1
3632 This was how my day was. 1.2097 0.05212 62 49 13 0
3633 Happy birthday dear Greggggg, happy birthday to youuuuuu! 1.2097 0.05212 62 49 13 0
3634 Just another average day in a women's world 1.2097 0.06560 62 52 7 3
3635 Martha would do anything to dodge the old “So, tell me about yourself” 1.2097 0.05212 62 49 13 0
3636 I meant it when I said my life is a Circus, you want in or you want to be dead? 1.2097 0.06560 62 52 7 3
3637 Due to shortage of staff, restaurant owners are forced to entertain their guests while said guests wait for their food 1.2097 0.06143 62 51 9 2
3638 If you think this is good, you should watch me teach. 1.2097 0.06143 62 51 9 2
3639 Honey, we're having a baby. 1.2097 0.05697 62 50 11 1
3640 Dating can be a very dangerous affair. 1.2093 0.04994 86 70 14 2
3641 Because why the hell not? 1.2093 0.04712 86 69 16 1
3642 I’ll get down for $20. 1.2090 0.05839 67 55 10 2
3643 You said you like a lot of stimulation! 1.2090 0.05438 67 54 12 1
3644 Maybe 2022 it'll be a new Olympic Sport? 1.2090 0.05438 67 54 12 1
3645 It keeps my mind off the news. 1.2090 0.05839 67 55 10 2
3646 I hope you appreciate this evening’s metaphorical visualization of today’s balancing of my professional life, the kids, and you. 1.2090 0.05839 67 55 10 2
3647 You have exactly the same act? 1.2090 0.06214 67 56 8 3
3648 Now throw me a career and a family 1.2090 0.06568 67 57 6 4
3649 Would you mind putting on your mask? 1.2090 0.05438 67 54 12 1
3650 You’ve caught his eye now give him the Check Please sign 1.2090 0.06568 67 57 6 4
3651 Nice to meet you. Did you have any trouble recognizing me? 1.2090 0.05438 67 54 12 1
3652 Now that my career is sorted out, can juggling a baby be so hard? 1.2090 0.05438 67 54 12 1
3653 If you’re impressed with this, wait until you see what I do with labor shortages, rising prices, and a shrinking customer base. 1.2090 0.05839 67 55 10 2
3654 "My comfort zone is closer to "rock, paper, scissors." 1.2090 0.05438 67 54 12 1
3655 But did you get Pfizer or Moderna? 1.2090 0.05438 67 54 12 1
3656 So what have you been up to? 1.2090 0.06214 67 56 8 3
3657 First date shaming: “What new hobbies did you pick up in 2020?” 1.2090 0.05438 67 54 12 1
3658 This is a trick I call 'motherhood' 1.2090 0.06568 67 57 6 4
3659 I was GONNA dig my key into the side If ur pretty little souped-up four-wheel drive, carve my name into ur leather seats, take a Louisville slugger to both headlights, slash a hole in all 4 tires —but I thought I’d give u a choice 1.2090 0.06214 67 56 8 3
3660 I’m just tired of jumping through hoops with you 1.2090 0.05438 67 54 12 1
3661 When I read ‘juggling a lot of things’ under the career section of your dating profile I guess I didn’t take it literally enough. 1.2090 0.05839 67 55 10 2
3662 And that's why it's called third wave feminism. 1.2083 0.05913 72 60 9 3
3663 See? I will be able to juggle the work/family balance with a full time job and three kids. 1.2083 0.05913 72 60 9 3
3664 We're out of flambe. 1.2083 0.05210 72 58 13 1
3665 You specified a high wire date. 1.2083 0.06630 48 39 8 1
3666 So you started baking during lockdown? Fascinating. 1.2083 0.06630 48 39 8 1
3667 No, I won’t marry you. I already have too much to juggle. 1.2083 0.05573 72 59 11 2
3668 You should see me juggle things at work! 1.2083 0.07268 48 40 6 2
3669 You make everything look so easy. What’s your secret? 1.2083 0.07854 48 41 4 3
3670 So what new hobbies did you find during the lock down? 1.2083 0.07268 48 40 6 2
3671 Women always multitask! 1.2078 0.05338 77 63 12 2
3672 Should’ve gotten takeout 1.2078 0.05649 77 64 10 3
3673 what do you mean this wasn't mentioned in my bio? I clearly said #jugglinglife 1.2078 0.05008 77 62 14 1
3674 I also like hiking, traveling, cooking, and long walks on the beach." 🏖️⛰️👩‍🍳 1.2078 0.05008 77 62 14 1
3675 You only get one chance to make a great first impression. 1.2075 0.06793 53 44 7 2
3676 It's good to have an audience again 1.2075 0.06236 53 43 9 1
3677 When I said try new things, this isn't what I had in mind... 1.2075 0.06793 53 44 7 2
3678 Sure, let's have a kid. 1.2075 0.06793 53 44 7 2
3679 You seem really distracted, lately. 1.2075 0.06236 53 43 9 1
3680 Getting ready for our marriage... 1.2075 0.06236 53 43 9 1
3681 What were you saying about me burning the roast? 1.2075 0.06236 53 43 9 1
3682 I haven't dated in a while, hope I'm not acting weird. 1.2075 0.06236 53 43 9 1
3683 Your bowling ball doesn't look anything like the one on your Tinder profile. 1.2075 0.06793 53 44 7 2
3684 And with enough practice, by next week I'll be able to add the baby! 1.2075 0.06793 53 44 7 2
3685 Well, I thought just the vaccine was too risky. 1.2075 0.06236 53 43 9 1
3686 Tips are strongly recommended. 1.2075 0.06793 53 44 7 2
3687 My girlfriend suggested I bring some unique qualities to the table for our first date. 1.2075 0.06793 53 44 7 2
3688 Did your buddies tell you they also bought you a lap dance? 1.2075 0.06236 53 43 9 1
3689 Well, THIS should get the waiter’s attention. 1.2075 0.06793 53 44 7 2
3690 Your bio said you were attracted to multitaskers. 1.2075 0.06793 53 44 7 2
3691 OK, WHEN I COUNT TO 3, TOSS ME THE GLASS. 1...2.. 1.2075 0.06236 53 43 9 1
3692 This wasn't in my profile pic, but it's a big part of my identity. 1.2075 0.07308 53 45 5 3
3693 How’d you get the chainsaw started? 1.2075 0.06236 53 43 9 1
3694 Through the smile to the stomach. 1.2075 0.06793 53 44 7 2
3695 We proudly serve “Harm to Table”. 1.2075 0.06793 53 44 7 2
3696 I see you are putting all your free time to good use now that the kids are back to in-person school. 1.2075 0.06236 53 43 9 1
3697 I can clap with it too. 1.2075 0.05624 53 42 11 0
3698 I always like to try something different when I come here. 1.2073 0.05415 82 68 11 3
3699 I took an online course before dinner. Not bad, huh? 1.2073 0.05415 82 68 11 3
3700 So what did you learn to do with all the pandemic downtime? 1.2069 0.06394 58 48 8 2
3701 You'd be a welcomed addition. 1.2069 0.05365 58 46 12 0
3702 Funny, that's exactly what my last date said before he died. 1.2069 0.06394 58 48 8 2
3703 I can’t commit to a relationship right now, I’m juggling too many things. 1.2069 0.05365 58 46 12 0
3704 It's easier than juggling a career and raising children 1.2069 0.06394 58 48 8 2
3705 Please choose your meal preparation method! 1.2069 0.05365 58 46 12 0
3706 I'm also, of course, into polyamory. 1.2069 0.05902 58 47 10 1
3707 Would you mind getting the chef’s knives from the kitchen? I picked up a new hobby last year and it’s been impossible to put down! Tina Mellott, Goshen, Indiana 1.2069 0.05902 58 47 10 1
3708 I'll lock the bike after we order. 1.2069 0.05365 58 46 12 0
3709 This is nothing compared to juggling my career, biological clock and your mommy issues. 1.2069 0.06851 58 49 6 3
3710 Since I juggle career, friends and parental care I thought 'why not?'. 1.2069 0.06394 58 48 8 2
3711 I'd love to make love. Can you wait just a minute? 1.2069 0.06851 58 49 6 3
3712 I have many skills, however, cooking is not one of them. 1.2069 0.06394 58 48 8 2
3713 Tell me you were raised by helicopter parents without telling me you were raised by helicopter parents. 1.2069 0.06394 58 48 8 2
3714 You should see what I can do in bed! 1.2069 0.06394 58 48 8 2
3715 I think I have an excellent work-life balance. 1.2069 0.05902 58 47 10 1
3716 So yes, to answer your question, I do feel ready to be a mom. 1.2069 0.05365 58 46 12 0
3717 Wow! Lisa you really have a lot of weight on your plate. (Men realizing how much work woman do everyday) 1.2069 0.06394 58 48 8 2
3718 See, my profile *was* real. 1.2069 0.06851 58 49 6 3
3719 Tia has tried everything to get a second date 1.2069 0.05902 58 47 10 1
3720 Yeah, it's a side effect of the vaccine! 1.2069 0.07279 58 50 4 4
3721 How 'bout you let me be the judge of whether or not I can handle your issues. 1.2063 0.06054 63 52 9 2
3722 I haven't been vaccinated either. 1.2063 0.06463 63 53 7 3
3723 we gonna fuck or what 1.2063 0.06848 63 54 5 4
3724 Now, for the entertainment portion of the evening. 1.2063 0.06054 63 52 9 2
3725 At first, I had trouble getting my fingers into the bowling ball. 1.2063 0.05616 63 51 11 1
3726 I also learned Italian. Ciao! 1.2063 0.05616 63 51 11 1
3727 It’s my first time too! 1.2063 0.05139 63 50 13 0
3728 So, I picked up a new hobby during the pandemic. 1.2063 0.06054 63 52 9 2
3729 Welcome to the America’s Got Talent Cafe and Lounge. 1.2063 0.05616 63 51 11 1
3730 I promise......no cover charge. 1.2063 0.05616 63 51 11 1
3731 And now the coup de grâce! 1.2063 0.06054 63 52 9 2
3732 Arthur was hoping for something a little more mundane when he asked his date about her skills in the kitchen. 1.2063 0.05139 63 50 13 0
3733 i told you i was a fun date. 1.2063 0.06054 63 52 9 2
3734 This is easy, compared to what I do at work in accounting. 1.2063 0.06054 63 52 9 2
3735 This is how I compensate for having no personality. 1.2063 0.06463 63 53 7 3
3736 Too aggressive for a first date, you think? 1.2063 0.06054 63 52 9 2
3737 Gender discrepancy in skills-learned-during-a-pandemic turned out to be statistically significant. 1.2063 0.06463 63 53 7 3
3738 Being unmasked indoors just doesn’t give me that adrenaline rush anymore 1.2063 0.06463 63 53 7 3
3739 Don’t worry. I’m vaccinated too. 1.2063 0.05139 63 50 13 0
3740 One thing I can’t do for you is to jump out of hoops! 1.2063 0.06054 63 52 9 2
3741 My parents loved me in their way, but my childhood was a real circus. 1.2063 0.06054 63 52 9 2
3742 They were right-I can do it all! And it’s so fulfilling, and definitely sustainable! 1.2063 0.06054 63 52 9 2
3743 and up next, my newest trick I call “my Monday morning at work” 1.2063 0.05616 63 51 11 1
3744 And, this is nothing, I’m unvaccinated! 1.2059 0.06478 68 58 6 4
3745 You won't believe this, but I ran away from home at a young age. 1.2059 0.05760 68 56 10 2
3746 And now, I shall decide how to kill you 1.2059 0.04940 68 54 14 0
3747 Would you mind moving a little to the left? 1.2059 0.05366 68 55 12 1
3748 It's so you to accuse me of grandiosity! 1.2059 0.05366 68 55 12 1
3749 I know I’m a disappointment as a woman: I haven’t learned how to lean in yet 1.2059 0.05366 68 55 12 1
3750 Can you believe I couldn't convince them to make this an Olympic sport? 1.2059 0.06130 68 57 8 3
3751 Now if you'll just hand me that glass of water I'll really show you something. 1.2059 0.05760 68 56 10 2
3752 Many people exaggerate in their online dating profile. 1.2059 0.06478 68 58 6 4
3753 you forgot the ice cream cone 1.2059 0.04940 68 54 14 0
3754 Enough for me. What about you? 1.2059 0.05760 68 56 10 2
3755 This proposal better work ! 1.2059 0.04940 68 54 14 0
3756 I usually don't do this on a first date, but you might be special. 1.2059 0.05760 68 56 10 2
3757 I hope I'm not sharing too much on our first date! 1.2059 0.05760 68 56 10 2
3758 Yes, I AM inspired by the new Olympic sports! 1.2059 0.05366 68 55 12 1
3759 Care to join me? 1.2059 0.06130 68 57 8 3
3760 This has been fun, but I’m a little nervous about our second date. 1.2059 0.05760 68 56 10 2
3761 Excuse me, could you hold the candle 🕯? 1.2059 0.04940 68 54 14 0
3762 I promise that I will remember my wallet next time. I thought we would only have to sing for our supper. 1.2059 0.05760 68 56 10 2
3763 Well, she did say she could only make this date if she juggled some things around... 1.2059 0.05760 68 56 10 2
3764 Very impressive - but can you calculate the tip? 1.2055 0.05503 73 60 11 2
3765 One too many? 1.2055 0.05146 73 59 13 1
3766 Hey, watch this. 1.2055 0.05503 73 60 11 2
3767 I like to break the ice on a first date. 1.2055 0.05146 73 59 13 1
3768 I'll be much less shy after the first date 1.2055 0.05146 73 59 13 1
3769 I told you I've been juggling my work-life balance for over a year now". 1.2055 0.05146 73 59 13 1
3770 This is the opening act for the banquet table Rockettes." 1.2055 0.05146 73 59 13 1
3771 I know you're juggling many things at once, but we agreed to have a relaxing dinner tonight. 1.2055 0.05146 73 59 13 1
3772 Okay! And your contribution to the home school curriculum, Honey? 1.2055 0.05503 73 60 11 2
3773 Now I wish she exaggerated on her Tinder profile 1.2055 0.05839 73 61 9 3
3774 You know this is so much easier than washing dishes 1.2051 0.04602 78 62 16 0
3775 You're in quiet a mood tonight aren't you? 1.2051 0.04950 78 63 14 1
3776 Get your phone out, honey! You’ve gotta shoot this for my TikTok profile. 1.2051 0.04602 78 62 16 0
3777 After growing weary of the accountant’s protracted musings on astrophysics, Susie finally decided to insert her own bag of tricks into the conversation. 1.2045 0.06958 44 36 7 1
3778 I was warned not to try this at home. 1.2041 0.06507 49 40 8 1
3779 I told you: I’m a great catch! 1.2041 0.05817 49 39 10 0
3780 I’m gonna need another sip pretty soon.. 1.2041 0.06507 49 40 8 1
3781 So how do you like this speed dating thing? 1.2041 0.06507 49 40 8 1
3782 not entertaining enough? 1.2041 0.06507 49 40 8 1
3783 ...at lease I don't juggle the books! 1.2041 0.07131 49 41 6 2
3784 I'm pregnant. 1.2041 0.07131 49 41 6 2
3785 Writer's block!? Just bring in a man with a gun. 1.2041 0.05817 49 39 10 0
3786 Looks like you're settled down for a nice dinner. 1.2041 0.07704 49 42 4 3
3787 Unfortunately, one of my talents is not cooking. 1.2041 0.07704 49 42 4 3
3788 Sometimes it feels like I do all the work in the relationship. 1.2041 0.05817 49 39 10 0
3789 Try speed dating," they said. "It'll be fun," they said 1.2041 0.07131 49 41 6 2
3790 Some people will do anything to get customers back in their restaurant 1.2041 0.06507 49 40 8 1
3791 Maybe I should rethink that “bored easily” part on my dating app. 1.2041 0.06507 49 40 8 1
3792 You wanted to know what I do all day. 1.2037 0.06131 54 44 9 1
3793 Oh, people who think it’s dangerous to get vaccines are crazy? Well could a crazy person do this? 1.2037 0.06131 54 44 9 1
3794 And you thought lockdown was hard! 1.2037 0.06131 54 44 9 1
3795 Get's a waiter every time. 1.2037 0.06131 54 44 9 1
3796 I lost the other two balls 1.2037 0.06677 54 45 7 2
3797 I've been working on really standing out on my Zoom calls. 1.2037 0.05532 54 43 11 0
3798 i just don't think you're keeping the relationship interesting 1.2037 0.05532 54 43 11 0
3799 I have been told I try too hard at making a good first impression… 1.2037 0.05532 54 43 11 0
3800 Yes, but now try to drink the water. 1.2037 0.06131 54 44 9 1
3801 Got a cigarette? 1.2037 0.05532 54 43 11 0
3802 Let me know when the appetizers arrive 1.2037 0.06131 54 44 9 1
3803 Wait for it... waaaiiiiitt for it... 1.2037 0.06131 54 44 9 1
3804 Am I unicycling too much? 1.2037 0.06677 54 45 7 2
3805 I used to have to juggle three jobs. 1.2037 0.06131 54 44 9 1
3806 The circus train pulled out without me. So now, I'm working for tips so I can Uber to the next big-top site. 1.2037 0.06131 54 44 9 1
3807 This one was Steve’s favorite. 1.2037 0.07181 54 46 5 3
3808 so this is how it is to go unmasked 1.2037 0.06677 54 45 7 2
3809 Say what you will, it’s a lot less stressful than watching the news. 1.2037 0.06131 54 44 9 1
3810 You know what’s ironic, though? I can’t read. Not a word. 1.2037 0.06677 54 45 7 2
3811 I really don't think of myself as a feminist though. 1.2037 0.06677 54 45 7 2
3812 Yes, please do tell me which one I’m juggling the wrong way, Chad. 1.2037 0.06677 54 45 7 2
3813 It was easier than fixing the relationship with my mother… 1.2037 0.06677 54 45 7 2
3814 For some reason they always bring me a tossed salad. 1.2034 0.05812 59 48 10 1
3815 When you suggested dinner and a show, I was hoping that you would pay for dinner. 1.2034 0.06295 59 49 8 2
3816 This is not what I thought she meant on her profile when she said ' Free for dinner , I just need to juggle some things around . ' " 1.2034 0.05812 59 48 10 1
3817 It's just an edgier version of "rock, paper, scissors." 1.2034 0.06295 59 49 8 2
3818 Yeah, I got better tips when we had outdoor seating. 1.2034 0.06295 59 49 8 2
3819 John's nightmares always included an arsonist, a chainsaw massacre, bowling, a clown and his former girlfriend but seldom all together. 1.2034 0.06295 59 49 8 2
3820 Hey Dad,...do you mind helping me out with a school thing? 1.2034 0.06743 59 50 6 3
3821 I've been juggling a lot, but I'm ready to start dating again 1.2034 0.06295 59 49 8 2
3822 Okay, now you show me something that is not on your LinkedIn profile. 1.2034 0.06295 59 49 8 2
3823 So that's when I thought, why not double major? 1.2034 0.06295 59 49 8 2
3824 ....and I'm also barefoot , pregnant and in the kitchen ! 1.2034 0.07163 59 51 4 4
3825 No, it's not my quarantine hobby. It's how the internet advised me to deter potential sexual predators. 1.2034 0.06295 59 49 8 2
3826 I don’t know why but I always feel a little awkward on these first dates. 1.2034 0.06295 59 49 8 2
3827 I am never going on Hinge again! 1.2034 0.05812 59 48 10 1
3828 I've tried juggling work and school but it's too much. 1.2034 0.06295 59 49 8 2
3829 Nice balance--very unusual too--now let's try the tightrope. 1.2034 0.05812 59 48 10 1
3830 My teacher says I’m no longer a beginner. 1.2034 0.05285 59 47 12 0
3831 This wasn't on her Bumble profile. 1.2034 0.06295 59 49 8 2
3832 You know what I like about you…You’re not a show off! 1.2034 0.05812 59 48 10 1
3833 I ordered coffee, not Marty Coffey 1.2034 0.05285 59 47 12 0
3834 Still less dangerous than not being vaccinated. 1.2034 0.05285 59 47 12 0
3835 This way I can eat whatever I want. 1.2034 0.05812 59 48 10 1
3836 I used to tend bar here, but the stress got to be too much... 1.2034 0.05812 59 48 10 1
3837 My therapist said I need to get out of my comfort zone 1.2034 0.05285 59 47 12 0
3838 Not everyone exaggerates their Tinder profiles, you know 1.2034 0.05812 59 48 10 1
3839 Dinner and a Show-off 1.2034 0.06295 59 49 8 2
3840 Just practicing for 2022 1.2034 0.05812 59 48 10 1
3841 Maybe dating this soon after the pandemic was a mistake. 1.2034 0.06743 59 50 6 3
3842 Okay, maybe I am ready to have kids and a career. 1.2031 0.06370 64 54 7 3
3843 What makes you think I am hiding something? 1.2031 0.05537 64 52 11 1
3844 Did you find simply juggling oranges oppressive or something? 1.2031 0.05537 64 52 11 1
3845 Just hand me the drink, okay? 1.2031 0.05537 64 52 11 1
3846 Well, you did ask what do I do all day. 1.2031 0.06748 64 55 5 4
3847 Girl: "NOW will you marry me?" 1.2031 0.05968 64 53 9 2
3848 YOU try doing this - and having children. 1.2031 0.05968 64 53 9 2
3849 When this routine grows stale, I change up my choice of juggling items - maybe sub in an axe or glass sculpture. 1.2031 0.06370 64 54 7 3
3850 Isn’t it nice to have a night without the kids and leave the circus at home? 1.2031 0.05537 64 52 11 1
3851 Practicing for my wedding march. What do you bring to the table? 1.2031 0.05537 64 52 11 1
3852 Well, I'm juggling a lot too, Lilly! 1.2031 0.05968 64 53 9 2
3853 My raise came with new responsibilities. 1.2031 0.05069 64 51 13 0
3854 This isn't the Table Dance I was expecting. 1.2031 0.05968 64 53 9 2
3855 It's not easy juggling personal life and social distancing. 1.2031 0.05069 64 51 13 0
3856 So what do you do to relax? 1.2031 0.05537 64 52 11 1
3857 ‘This conversation is boring … let me entertain myself ‘ 1.2031 0.05537 64 52 11 1
3858 Can Debbie in HR do this?? I didn’t think so! 1.2031 0.05069 64 51 13 0
3859 I’m sorry Ted, but there’s just not enough excitement in our relationship anymore. 1.2031 0.05537 64 52 11 1
3860 this is a very safe environment for people like myself who likes to dine without mask restrictions. 1.2031 0.05968 64 53 9 2
3861 See Tom, I can have it all. 1.2031 0.05537 64 52 11 1
3862 Now I understand why multi-tasking is a bad habit. 1.2031 0.05968 64 53 9 2
3863 The tip should be proportional to the service 1.2031 0.06370 64 54 7 3
3864 The way you live your life makes it look so easy! 1.2031 0.05968 64 53 9 2
3865 Ok, but what else did you do during the pandemic? 1.2031 0.05968 64 53 9 2
3866 I got bored waiting for you to fuck me so I learned how to juggle. 1.2029 0.06390 69 59 6 4
3867 I 'm hoping it will get me into medical school. 1.2029 0.06047 69 58 8 3
3868 This is the only way guys notice me. 1.2029 0.05684 69 57 10 2
3869 I knew this was going to be a blind date, but didn’t realize you actually meant to make that happen. 1.2029 0.05684 69 57 10 2
3870 I'm a Working Mother--Of course I can juggle things. 1.2029 0.06047 69 58 8 3
3871 Yes, I'm ready to have kids. 1.2029 0.06390 69 59 6 4
3872 The lockdown did me good 1.2029 0.05684 69 57 10 2
3873 The floor is lava. 1.2029 0.06047 69 58 8 3
3874 Usually I don’t break this skill out till the third date 1.2029 0.05296 69 56 12 1
3875 Don’t worry, the chainsaw is out of gas” 1.2029 0.06047 69 58 8 3
3876 Interesting but can you do it with one hand 1.2029 0.06047 69 58 8 3
3877 Me? I'm a clown. I'm amazed how I'm never recognized without my makeup. 1.2027 0.05435 74 61 11 2
3878 Is this not what you meant when you said dinner and a show? 1.2027 0.05435 74 61 11 2
3879 That's not what I meant when I asked for today's special. 1.2027 0.05435 74 61 11 2
3880 Yes, dinner theater has evolved. 1.2027 0.05766 74 62 9 3
3881 Do I look like someone who would fall for the dangerous type? 1.2027 0.06376 74 64 5 5
3882 So... What talent are you bringing to this relationship? 1.2027 0.05435 74 61 11 2
3883 As Linda showcased her new talents, Jim wondered if binge-watching eighteen seasons of 'Divorcees of Nova Scotia' was a worthy use of his time in lockdown. 1.2027 0.05435 74 61 11 2
3884 Online dating... you never know who will show up! 1.2027 0.05766 74 62 9 3
3885 Ok honey, yes, I get it, you need a vacation... 1.2022 0.04842 89 73 14 2
3886 You don't see this at Hooters, now, do you? 1.2021 0.05147 94 79 11 4
3887 And how are you enjoying tonight's entertainment, sir? 1.2000 0.05724 60 49 10 1
3888 "Well, do I live up to my profile?" 1.2000 0.05883 65 54 9 2
3889 And I’m a career-mom. Still interested 1.2000 0.06389 50 41 8 1
3890 I was told you’d make a lasting impression on me. I just didn’t expect it to be from a chainsaw to the… 1.2000 0.06389 50 41 8 1
3891 At some point in the evening, Linda realized she was trying to hard on first dates. 1.2000 0.06999 50 42 6 2
3892 Don’t worry...I can make my face mask reappear. 1.2000 0.04650 75 60 15 0
3893 I am hoping it will become an Olympic event. 1.2000 0.05460 65 53 11 1
3894 I figured, what have I got left to lose? 1.2000 0.06638 60 51 6 3
3895 And, what are your hobbies? 1.2000 0.06638 60 51 6 3
3896 Not much luck with this dating service so far, but I feel good about you. Jeff, isn't it? 1.2000 0.06030 55 45 9 1
3897 People are always bad mouthing the gig economy but it 1.2000 0.05460 65 53 11 1
3898 I'm required by law to inform you that 'Consuming raw or undercooked meats, poultry, seafood, shellfish, or eggs may increase your risk of foodborne illness' 1.2000 0.05724 60 49 10 1
3899 So, how was your day? 1.2000 0.05460 65 53 11 1
3900 Next is my mime act then polka favorites on the accordion. Or you could take me out for dinner. 1.2000 0.05724 60 49 10 1
3901 Oh not at all, sir. We're a bit busy tonight,but I'd be happy to bring you more ice for your drink." 1.2000 0.06030 55 45 9 1
3902 I had to juggle a few things to get us this reservation. 1.2000 0.06999 50 42 6 2
3903 And I'm a single mother getting my PhD in genetics. But enough about me. Tell me about yourself." 1.2000 0.06389 50 41 8 1
3904 At what point in the routine do you put on a mask? 1.2000 0.05000 65 52 13 0
3905 Can you hand me my drink? 1.2000 0.06198 60 50 8 2
3906 So, want to give it a go? I've got another torch, and you don't have to run the chain saw your first time 1.2000 0.05208 60 48 12 0
3907 You're such a drama queen, Diane. Cut the song and dance and give it to me straight. 1.2000 0.06279 65 55 7 3
3908 Well, don't just sit there. 1.2000 0.05460 65 53 11 1
3909 A working single mom explains life to a man. 1.2000 0.06389 50 41 8 1
3910 Sooner or later it will be an Olympic sport trust me. 1.2000 0.05443 55 44 11 0
3911 Now for my next act I'll need a volunteer from the audience to make dinner! 1.2000 0.05610 70 58 10 2
3912 The last time I tried this my date lost an eye and an arm. 1.2000 0.05610 70 58 10 2
3913 I'm preparing for motherhood. 1.2000 0.05724 60 49 10 1
3914 Wait'll you see me with the dessert cart 1.2000 0.05695 75 63 9 3
3915 If things get weird I have a great disappearing act 1.2000 0.06030 55 45 9 1
3916 It's circus-to-table dining. 1.2000 0.06030 55 45 9 1
3917 You'll have to have a sex change to do this. 1.2000 0.06565 55 46 7 2
3918 What's your favorite hobby? 1.2000 0.06999 50 42 6 2
3919 See? I am almost ready to be a mother. 1.2000 0.06198 60 50 8 2
3920 Be the ball. Be the ball. 1.2000 0.05228 70 57 12 1
3921 No worries. I got it covered. 1.2000 0.05724 60 49 10 1
3922 THIS is what it feels like to be a Mom with a full time job! 1.2000 0.05000 65 52 13 0
3923 It doesn’t matter which one I catch. I am vaccinated. 1.2000 0.04815 70 56 14 0
3924 And you were asking why there's cover charge... 1.2000 0.05883 65 54 9 2
3925 I've forgotten what to do on a date 1.2000 0.05610 70 58 10 2
3926 You can count on me to do the heavy lifting! 1.2000 0.06198 60 50 8 2
3927 The dating site urged me not to put it all out there in my online profile 1.2000 0.06030 55 45 9 1
3928 How about you, did you pick up any new hobbies during quarantine? 1.2000 0.05883 65 54 9 2
3929 I dunno.....well guess maybe I am bit distracted in life..... 1.2000 0.05724 60 49 10 1
3930 you want a lap dance? I'll give you a lap dance! 1.2000 0.06565 55 46 7 2
3931 Please ask me to sit down and chill for once. 1.2000 0.05228 70 57 12 1
3932 I think the COVID vaccine is too dangerous to my health. 1.2000 0.07059 55 47 5 3
3933 No Sidney, I'm too scared to marry you. 1.2000 0.05443 55 44 11 0
3934 Just get the vaccine, Frank and you can have your wife back! 1.2000 0.07559 50 43 4 3
3935 So I figured, why not make it dinner and a show? 1.2000 0.05443 55 44 11 0
3936 Guys like girls with skills! 1.2000 0.05883 65 54 9 2
3937 Yeah, it's a bit much, but it keeps my mind off Covid. 1.2000 0.05883 65 54 9 2
3938 Look at me; look at you. This is sexism. 1.2000 0.06030 55 45 9 1
3939 You had me at vroom vroom 1.2000 0.05883 65 54 9 2
3940 You said that I should take more initiative 1.2000 0.06999 50 42 6 2
3941 No vaccination, no mask, and yet, remarkably, no COVID! 1.2000 0.05883 65 54 9 2
3942 …and this is only entre 1.2000 0.06565 55 46 7 2
3943 Well, Dr. Klein said to spice things up, and you know how Sriracha gives me hives... 1.2000 0.05460 65 53 11 1
3944 When will it be enough for him to propose? 1.2000 0.05883 65 54 9 2
3945 I thought I'd give us some real health issues to talk about. 1.2000 0.05610 70 58 10 2
3946 I can fit chatting over a drink next Tues at 2:20pm. Thoughts? 1.2000 0.06565 55 46 7 2
3947 Have you decided what you want for dessert? 1.2000 0.06030 55 45 9 1
3948 So was there anything else you had a question about on my Tinder profile? 1.2000 0.06638 60 51 6 3
3949 Isn't it amazing what you can learn on Youtube! 1.2000 0.05000 65 52 13 0
3950 As first dates go, it wasnt bad. 1.2000 0.05460 65 53 11 1
3951 And this is the first date. Wait until you see what comes after, kiddo. 1.2000 0.05228 70 57 12 1
3952 Just want to make sure you believe what I put on my tinder profile. 1.2000 0.06389 50 41 8 1
3953 You’re going to love the finale when I add my career, the kids and your golf club membership. 1.2000 0.07059 55 47 5 3
3954 Are you trying to break the glass ceiling? 1.2000 0.05883 65 54 9 2
3955 Toss me that glass of water... 1.2000 0.06565 55 46 7 2
3956 I should have swiped right. 1.2000 0.05443 55 44 11 0
3957 And for dessert we have three dancing bears on a balance beam. 1.2000 0.07559 50 43 4 3
3958 And on top of all this I’m doing HTML code with my keigels! 1.2000 0.05967 70 59 8 3
3959 It’s just something I do on a first date. I don’t know why. 1.2000 0.05208 60 48 12 0
3960 Yeoo! Now that’s what I call liberation, Darling. Hang on! You’re my next juggle.. 1.2000 0.05208 60 48 12 0
3961 This explains our date! 1.2000 0.05443 55 44 11 0
3962 When he said ‘table dance’, I thought, I’ll show you. 1.2000 0.06565 55 46 7 2
3963 Marriage is far more dangerous! 1.2000 0.05228 70 57 12 1
3964 Ok, you win. We'll have the Bananas Foster. 1.2000 0.06638 60 51 6 3
3965 I know, I know, I try too hard to impress on a first date. 1.2000 0.05460 65 53 11 1
3966 Let me tell you about tonight's specials. 1.2000 0.05883 65 54 9 2
3967 Of course I’m making dinner. It’s called multitasking. 1.2000 0.05724 60 49 10 1
3968 Please hand me the hand grenade; It will represent the fourth child you insist that we have. 1.2000 0.05610 70 58 10 2
3969 I like to be entertaining on a first date. 1.2000 0.05228 70 57 12 1
3970 I'm busy. YOU make dinner. 1.2000 0.06030 55 45 9 1
3971 I usually save this for a third date. 1.2000 0.05460 65 53 11 1
3972 Never discuss your COVID hobbies on a first date 1.2000 0.06198 60 50 8 2
3973 This is my standard icebreaker 1.2000 0.05022 75 61 13 1
3974 I got into a lot of new hobbies during lockdown. 1.2000 0.06999 50 42 6 2
3975 Sure, I'll call you when I'm free. I've just got a lot up in the air right now. 1.2000 0.05156 80 66 12 2
3976 Front row seat in Hell’s Kitchen 1.2000 0.05460 65 53 11 1
3977 You mentioned multi-tasking... 1.2000 0.06198 60 50 8 2
3978 Would you mind juggling things that won’t crush, burn and chop my house down? 1.2000 0.06030 55 45 9 1
3979 You're right, you're busy; let me look after that. 1.2000 0.06030 55 45 9 1
3980 Order the cream pie thrown in my face. 1.2000 0.07521 45 38 5 2
3981 I just wanted to know the specials. 1.2000 0.05228 70 57 12 1
3982 You say you want a third kid?? 1.2000 0.05443 55 44 11 0
3983 I will never again ask for the menu in New York 1.2000 0.05228 70 57 12 1
3984 You must be a teacher. 1.2000 0.05460 65 53 11 1
3985 Our specials today are the sole, the Spanish pancakes and the significant chance of flesh wounds" 1.2000 0.05883 65 54 9 2
3986 Another overqualified applicant … 1.2000 0.06638 60 51 6 3
3987 Wow, I didn’t expect your Tinder bio to be so accurate. 1.2000 0.06198 60 50 8 2
3988 Now, will you pass me a roll? 1.2000 0.05022 75 61 13 1
3989 I don’t know, it just makes me feel alive. 1.2000 0.06198 60 50 8 2
3990 Just wait til I add a baby to the mix. 1.2000 0.05460 65 53 11 1
3991 I don’t care what we do, I’m super low maintenance 1.2000 0.06030 55 45 9 1
3992 Mary always needs to be the centre of attention 1.2000 0.05208 60 48 12 0
3993 'And you want me to juggle our relationship to' 1.2000 0.06389 50 41 8 1
3994 Don’t worry; I’ve got this. 1.2000 0.05228 70 57 12 1
3995 When you list multitasking as a skill on your dating app profile. 1.2000 0.05443 55 44 11 0
3996 Until it hits you, it's always just a show. 1.2000 0.06198 60 50 8 2
3997 I meant how do you juggle your work life schedule. 1.2000 0.06565 55 46 7 2
3998 So that’s me. What do you do for fun? 1.2000 0.05000 65 52 13 0
3999 Yes, but it’s probably safer than the delta variant. 1.2000 0.05369 75 62 11 2
4000 Imagine what more I could’ve done with even just a little bit of encouragement from you and mom? 1.2000 0.05443 55 44 11 0
4001 Your tinder profile said you could juggle four things 1.2000 0.06816 45 37 7 1
4002 You don’t look like your profile photo 1.2000 0.06279 65 55 7 3
4003 I really love our quiet times without the kids…it’s very soothing 1.2000 0.06999 50 42 6 2
4004 So yeah, I guess my parents were pretty critical. Why do you ask? 1.2000 0.04364 85 68 17 0
4005 I think you will find I am the perfect fit for the promotion - as demonstrated by my multi-tasking skills! 1.2000 0.06198 60 50 8 2
4006 I’m surprised you picked up on it. Yes, I do know how to juggle. 1.2000 0.05228 70 57 12 1
4007 Nope, no mask required. Welcome to Tallahassee! (Get it?) 1.1977 0.04912 86 71 13 2
4008 i though this was the non-juggler section. 1.1975 0.05392 81 68 10 3
4009 I kind of miss being serenaded at table 1.1974 0.04963 76 62 13 1
4010 It's this, or I join you without a mask. Your choice. 1.1974 0.04963 76 62 13 1
4011 I can’t understand why I never get a second date. 1.1974 0.05305 76 63 11 2
4012 Is this your idea of foreplay? 1.1974 0.05929 76 65 7 4
4013 Ok, very nice. But can you just take my order? . 1.1974 0.05305 76 63 11 2
4014 You ordered the steak with your cholesterol, I'll do this 1.1972 0.04755 71 57 14 0
4015 I’m really psyched that you don’t mind being the stable introvert in our relationship. 1.1972 0.05161 71 58 12 1
4016 I'm still trying to find myself. 1.1972 0.04755 71 57 14 0
4017 At least they're not STDs. 1.1972 0.05161 71 58 12 1
4018 Darling, there are so many things to do at home - I can't wait to get away! 1.1972 0.05161 71 58 12 1
4019 The most dangerous part of my act is being unvaccinated and not masking. 1.1972 0.05890 71 60 8 3
4020 You say you left your wallet home? I'm happy to entertain for our meal. Which of these would you like for an appetizer? 1.1972 0.05537 71 59 10 2
4021 No helmet! No mask! No fire extinguisher! Anarchy is a post Cuomo era 1.1972 0.05537 71 59 10 2
4022 This is nothing! I've got three kids. 1.1972 0.06222 71 61 6 4
4023 And how would you describe your last year? 1.1972 0.05161 71 58 12 1
4024 There’s got to be a better way to pay for our meal. 1.1972 0.05537 71 59 10 2
4025 I recommend the blowfish. 1.1972 0.05537 71 59 10 2
4026 That's great, but could you pass the salt? 1.1970 0.05385 66 54 11 1
4027 And if you hire me, my tenure file will be even more impressive! 1.1970 0.05802 66 55 9 2
4028 I'm a middle child. 1.1970 0.04933 66 53 13 0
4029 Not bad after one class, huh? 1.1970 0.05802 66 55 9 2
4030 Ok Mr. Multitasker, Kiss my butt and cook your own breakfast. 1.1970 0.06190 66 56 7 3
4031 Working From Home gave me a lo of time to practice this. 1.1970 0.05385 66 54 11 1
4032 So, now tell me about you. 1.1970 0.05385 66 54 11 1
4033 My roommate said this might be a bit over the top for a first date. 1.1970 0.04933 66 53 13 0
4034 I can also do it with a facemark, depending on the guidance that week 1.1970 0.05385 66 54 11 1
4035 Get me the kitchen sink. 1.1970 0.06190 66 56 7 3
4036 I used to be really bad at getting the waiter’s attention. 1.1970 0.05385 66 54 11 1
4037 You put your left hand out and soon you'll be doing the uni-pokey 1.1970 0.06556 66 57 5 4
4038 What happens if you get a flat tire? 1.1970 0.06556 66 57 5 4
4039 It’s kinda new. We’re calling it happy hour. 1.1970 0.05802 66 55 9 2
4040 I told you I didn’t exaggerate in my dating profile. 1.1970 0.05802 66 55 9 2
4041 Bored out of wits. 1.1970 0.05802 66 55 9 2
4042 Can I get a refill? 1.1970 0.05802 66 55 9 2
4043 I guess we are splitting the bill 1.1970 0.06190 66 56 7 3
4044 And finally, John understood what the Extramarital Affair Seminar was trying to teach him. 1.1967 0.05639 61 50 10 1
4045 I earned my astrophysics degree by busking rush hours in the subway. 1.1967 0.06105 61 51 8 2
4046 " Really, you think I'm manipulative? " 1.1967 0.05639 61 50 10 1
4047 I am not sure if I am ready to add a relationship to my routine. 1.1967 0.05639 61 50 10 1
4048 Instead of just watching, you could help flagging a waiter, too! 1.1967 0.05639 61 50 10 1
4049 I learned to do this during the pandemic quarantine. I'm going for knife-throwing next. 1.1967 0.05132 61 49 12 0
4050 Okay.....go grab the baby. 1.1967 0.05132 61 49 12 0
4051 Just wait til you see the antipasta. 1.1967 0.05132 61 49 12 0
4052 While you were watching Netflix..... 1.1967 0.05639 61 50 10 1
4053 This is how I feel every day, all the time - now do you understand? 1.1967 0.06537 61 52 6 3
4054 Your profile says you enjoy bird watching, tell me more about that. 1.1967 0.06537 61 52 6 3
4055 I know you miss the kids but this is our date night. 1.1967 0.05639 61 50 10 1
4056 You do use condoms right? I mean, you can't be too careful! 1.1967 0.06105 61 51 8 2
4057 Got a match? 1.1967 0.05639 61 50 10 1
4058 I’m test marketing a new idea for Benihana’s 1.1967 0.06105 61 51 8 2
4059 I didn't just ask you here for a drink. 1.1967 0.05639 61 50 10 1
4060 I thought I'd be nervous, but this is great so far! 1.1967 0.06105 61 51 8 2
4061 I can do anything you can't do ... 1.1967 0.05639 61 50 10 1
4062 I'm not ready for children AND a career right now. 1.1967 0.05639 61 50 10 1
4063 Ok, that part was true. But in your profile you didn't have bangs. Check please! 1.1967 0.06537 61 52 6 3
4064 I know I promised you dinner and a show for your birthday, but I’ve postponed the dinner. 1.1967 0.05639 61 50 10 1
4065 Maybe I should have just taken the dancing classes with her. 1.1967 0.05639 61 50 10 1
4066 Ah, this is nothing. I can also change a dirty diaper while driving and whistling a happy tune. 1.1967 0.06105 61 51 8 2
4067 The glass is for tips. 1.1967 0.06537 61 52 6 3
4068 Well, you asked me what I do... 1.1967 0.06105 61 51 8 2
4069 I intentionally did not put this on my tinder profile to surprise you 1.1967 0.06105 61 51 8 2
4070 You know, waving should be enough to get a waiter's attention... 1.1967 0.06942 61 53 4 4
4071 « And long story short.. I’m a single mother. But tell me about you! » 1.1967 0.06537 61 52 6 3
4072 I usually omit this from my Tinder profile 1.1967 0.06105 61 51 8 2
4073 Multitasking runs in my family 1.1967 0.05639 61 50 10 1
4074 Don’t you think it would be easier to take the vaccine than keep juggling all those conspiracy theories? 1.1967 0.06105 61 51 8 2
4075 Your cocktail order is being prepared and will be delivered in 11 minutes 1.1967 0.06942 61 53 4 4
4076 Wife “I’m fine. I’ll add it to my to do list” Husband “All I asked is what’s for dinner and where are the kids” 1.1967 0.06105 61 51 8 2
4077 Really, I have been listening! I put the phone away already 1.1967 0.05639 61 50 10 1
4078 I planned to join the circus right before the pandemic. 1.1967 0.05639 61 50 10 1
4079 Don’t jump to conclusions. 1.1967 0.05132 61 49 12 0
4080 I don't want a boyfriend, I need an agent. 1.1964 0.05932 56 46 9 1
4081 You did say you wanted to be entertained tonight. 1.1964 0.05932 56 46 9 1
4082 Make your own breakfast. Can't you see I'm multi-tasking? 1.1964 0.05357 56 45 11 0
4083 When you said dinner was being tossed, I thought you meant a salad! 1.1964 0.05357 56 45 11 0
4084 Normally I don't juggle on the first date... 1.1964 0.05932 56 46 9 1
4085 Any new Covid hobbies on your end? 1.1964 0.05932 56 46 9 1
4086 My hobbies include juggling pyrotechnics, bowling, and woodworking. Notice the missing oxford comma? 1.1964 0.06941 56 48 5 3
4087 The most dangerous part of the evening's entertainment is, she doesn't wear a mask. 1.1964 0.06456 56 47 7 2
4088 I'm practicing for motherhood. 1.1964 0.06456 56 47 7 2
4089 Do something useful and toss me the cup. 1.1964 0.06941 56 48 5 3
4090 Coffee would have been fine... 1.1964 0.05357 56 45 11 0
4091 Wow, I didn’t expect you to be this upfront with your red flags. 1.1964 0.06941 56 48 5 3
4092 We call it "harm-to-table." 1.1964 0.05357 56 45 11 0
4093 See! I didn't lie on my Tinder profile. 1.1964 0.06456 56 47 7 2
4094 I’m wondering should we get a dog 1.1964 0.06456 56 47 7 2
4095 I'm not okay with this level of extra 1.1964 0.05932 56 46 9 1
4096 Ever since the run on grocery stores last year, I’ve been thrill-seeking that new adrenaline rush 1.1964 0.05357 56 45 11 0
4097 And yet you have no problem indoor dining 1.1964 0.05932 56 46 9 1
4098 I had to pick up some hobbies during lockdown… 1.1964 0.06456 56 47 7 2
4099 Let me entertain you while we both pretend to reach for our wallets 1.1964 0.06456 56 47 7 2
4100 When my gym closed last year I had to get creative 1.1964 0.05932 56 46 9 1
4101 Really, Ryan? Nothing? Then what is it going to take to get you to propose? 1.1964 0.05932 56 46 9 1
4102 I wrote good at multitasking on my resume, didn’t I? 1.1964 0.05932 56 46 9 1
4103 Fun fact, you get half-off any appetizer if I drop something. 1.1961 0.06275 51 42 8 1
4104 I’m a mom. This is easy! 1.1961 0.05615 51 41 10 0
4105 Don't worry! I'm fully vaccinated. 1.1961 0.05615 51 41 10 0
4106 The negligee last night didn't work, so... 1.1961 0.07420 51 44 4 3
4107 You had me at “battery-powered chainsaw.” 1.1961 0.06275 51 42 8 1
4108 All this,while breastfeeding and leading a meeting. Why,what was your day like? 1.1961 0.06275 51 42 8 1
4109 I got this. Relax. 1.1961 0.05615 51 41 10 0
4110 Yeah, but can she do this? 1.1961 0.06871 51 43 6 2
4111 What do you mean the expression is ‘to sing for one’s supper’? 1.1961 0.05615 51 41 10 0
4112 _Sorry_ for trying to keep things interesting… 1.1961 0.06871 51 43 6 2
4113 For maximum efficiency, I decided to just combine existential dread and new hobbies during lockdown. 1.1961 0.06871 51 43 6 2
4114 My date just kept making it about herself. 1.1961 0.06871 51 43 6 2
4115 I do this during awkward silences. 1.1959 0.04780 97 81 13 3
4116 I can bring home the bacon, fry it up in a pan, and never, never, never let you forget you're a man...but that just seemed so "been there, done that." 1.1957 0.07369 46 39 5 2
4117 I can’t stand a conversational lull. 1.1957 0.05914 46 37 9 0
4118 It's our new concept of Dinner & a Show 1.1957 0.05914 46 37 9 0
4119 This is to replace rhythmic gymnastics? 1.1957 0.06681 46 38 7 1
4120 I used to like doing all that stuff too. 1.1957 0.06681 46 38 7 1
4121 Why yes, I do consider myself well balanced.Why do you ask? 1.1957 0.05914 46 37 9 0
4122 I'll bring my wife next time 1.1957 0.06681 46 38 7 1
4123 How about juggling some ingredients into a multi-course dinner? 1.1954 0.04861 87 72 13 2
4124 Is this a joke? 1.1951 0.05041 82 68 12 2
4125 Some day I hope to be the CDC director. 1.1948 0.05857 77 66 7 4
4126 Help? No. Why do you ask? 1.1948 0.05558 77 65 9 3
4127 I't just seems to me the vaccines were rushed into distribution. 1.1944 0.05467 72 60 10 2
4128 The job application stressed the need to be able to juggle several things at once, so I applied and here I am. 1.1944 0.05467 72 60 10 2
4129 I'm in it to win it. 1.1944 0.05096 72 59 12 1
4130 Top this and I'll pick up the check. 1.1944 0.05467 72 60 10 2
4131 America trying to decide which crisis it will fail to solve next. 1.1944 0.05467 72 60 10 2
4132 Next ! 1.1944 0.05096 72 59 12 1
4133 if you saw me for who I really am then you'd have the balls to say you'll carry a torch for me. 1.1940 0.05722 67 56 9 2
4134 Can you toss me your mommy issues? 1.1940 0.05722 67 56 9 2
4135 What do you have to show for yourself from the past 16 months? 1.1940 0.04868 67 54 13 0
4136 Our thrill is gone so I make my own 1.1940 0.06104 67 57 7 3
4137 I hate first dates, don't you? 1.1940 0.05722 67 56 9 2
4138 I've been told I try too hard on a first date, but, really, I just like doing it. 1.1940 0.04868 67 54 13 0
4139 Give me a hand with the saw, dear? 1.1940 0.06104 67 57 7 3
4140 I can also juggle a career and a relationship. 1.1940 0.05722 67 56 9 2
4141 I skipped Juggling 101 and went straight to the High Stakes Level. 1.1940 0.04868 67 54 13 0
4142 You are just never going to impress my parents 1.1940 0.05312 67 55 11 1
4143 Pick one item, sir, that you'd like me to drop into your glass. 1.1940 0.06104 67 57 7 3
4144 Do you own a home? 1.1940 0.05722 67 56 9 2
4145 I won't even spill your drink. 1.1940 0.05722 67 56 9 2
4146 Look buddy, you order off-menu here, you take what you can get. 1.1940 0.05312 67 55 11 1
4147 You'd be amazed at the variety of how-to videos available on the internet 1.1940 0.05722 67 56 9 2
4148 This type of juggling is more satisfying as it requires more balls. 1.1940 0.05312 67 55 11 1
4149 Honey, for your second birthday during lockdown I’ve been practicing a few new skills…. 1.1940 0.06104 67 57 7 3
4150 The Second Decade Of the 21st Century, In A Picture 1.1940 0.05722 67 56 9 2
4151 Cool, but are you vaccinated? 1.1940 0.05722 67 56 9 2
4152 My last Bumble date didn’t request proof of my profile. 1.1940 0.06104 67 57 7 3
4153 @stephaniehains Please don’t spill my water. 1.1940 0.06464 67 58 5 4
4154 I guess street performing is off the table for now. 1.1940 0.05722 67 56 9 2
4155 So what hobbies had you taken up since the pandemic lockdown? 1.1940 0.05722 67 56 9 2
4156 Although a bit nervous, Sarah felt the meeting with the real estate agent went smoothly. 1.1940 0.05312 67 55 11 1
4157 If you think this is difficult, watch me juggle my personal life. 1.1940 0.06104 67 57 7 3
4158 Don't worry, I've been xtreme dining for years now. 1.1935 0.06014 62 52 8 2
4159 Eh, this is nothing…wait until you meet my three kids. 1.1935 0.06014 62 52 8 2
4160 You swore you wouldn't feel threatened living with a career woman. 1.1935 0.06014 62 52 8 2
4161 I’m great at multitasking! 1.1935 0.05058 62 50 12 0
4162 Got any eggs? 1.1935 0.05557 62 51 10 1
4163 Sorry, the answer is still 18% tip. 1.1935 0.05557 62 51 10 1
4164 Toss me your cellphone and I 'll order Chinese. 1.1935 0.06014 62 52 8 2
4165 I trained as an accountant. 1.1935 0.05557 62 51 10 1
4166 We were the first circus to table restaurant ! 1.1935 0.06014 62 52 8 2
4167 Is dinner ready? 1.1935 0.05557 62 51 10 1
4168 No, I said I was Choosing a hobby. 1.1935 0.06014 62 52 8 2
4169 What do you mean it's 'Go for the jugular'? 1.1935 0.06014 62 52 8 2
4170 My mother took it seriously, juggling her work and children. 1.1935 0.05557 62 51 10 1
4171 Is this Amuse Bouche enough for you? 1.1935 0.06014 62 52 8 2
4172 I call it “work-life balance for beginners “ 1.1935 0.05557 62 51 10 1
4173 That's cool and all, but can we please talk about my amc stock? 1.1935 0.06014 62 52 8 2
4174 -That's great... but I ordered a steak with salad 1.1935 0.06014 62 52 8 2
4175 What type of pain you would like to have in your life ? It’s your choice.👍🏻 . 1.1935 0.06014 62 52 8 2
4176 Yes Bill, I can still listen to you while I do everything else to keep this family running. 1.1935 0.06014 62 52 8 2
4177 Look what I learned to do today. 1.1935 0.06438 62 53 6 3
4178 My ‘Only Fan’ account. 1.1935 0.06438 62 53 6 3
4179 motherhood is still easier than this 1.1935 0.06014 62 52 8 2
4180 Ok, but what’s for dessert? 1.1932 0.05075 88 74 11 3
4181 What’s taking the waiter so long?” 1.1930 0.05838 57 47 9 1
4182 I threw in the cotton candy to soften the act. 1.1930 0.05274 57 46 11 0
4183 Cancel my cappuccino. 1.1930 0.05274 57 46 11 0
4184 What? You're the one who said I shouldn't stare at my phone all dinner. 1.1930 0.06352 57 48 7 2
4185 It’s good to have options. 1.1930 0.06827 57 49 5 3
4186 The pandemic showed me how many things I could really do at the same time. 1.1930 0.05838 57 47 9 1
4187 It used to be if you couldn't pay your bill, they had you wash dishes! 1.1930 0.06352 57 48 7 2
4188 So anyway, I noticed your Hinge bio said 6'2''... 1.1930 0.06352 57 48 7 2
4189 I see you take juggling a work-life balance literally. 1.1930 0.06352 57 48 7 2
4190 I'm just warming up. If you think this is challenging, next 1.1930 0.05838 57 47 9 1
4191 So what do you do for fun? 1.1930 0.05274 57 46 11 0
4192 Where’s your mask? 1.1930 0.06352 57 48 7 2
4193 I’m not impressed. Circus acts just aren’t my “thing”. And yes, I ordered an Uber for myself. 1.1930 0.05274 57 46 11 0
4194 In two minutes it will be your turn. Ready? 1.1930 0.05838 57 47 9 1
4195 Maybe this will attract waiter. 1.1930 0.05838 57 47 9 1
4196 I hate making small talk. 1.1930 0.06352 57 48 7 2
4197 And this is the chef’s amuse bouche for tonight 1.1930 0.05838 57 47 9 1
4198 So, you were saying? 1.1930 0.06352 57 48 7 2
4199 After “home, family and career” I decided to really challenge myself. 1.1930 0.05838 57 47 9 1
4200 I always do this when the conversation goes dead. 1.1930 0.06352 57 48 7 2
4201 The service here is always slow. 1.1930 0.05274 57 46 11 0
4202 Wowza! My last date could only juggled her kids, career and Masters thesis. 1.1930 0.06352 57 48 7 2
4203 And I can blow bubbles out my ass 1.1930 0.06827 57 49 5 3
4204 Don't you trust me? 1.1930 0.06352 57 48 7 2
4205 And my day job is a physics professor. What did you say your job was again? 1.1930 0.06352 57 48 7 2
4206 Im impressed with your juggling but where is my dinner. 1.1930 0.05838 57 47 9 1
4207 Listen Carl, you’re really great. I just feel like the effort in this relationship has become a little one sided” 1.1930 0.06352 57 48 7 2
4208 So what did you learn over lockdown 1.1930 0.05838 57 47 9 1
4209 You ever get the feeling we are running out of things to talk about? 1.1930 0.05274 57 46 11 0
4210 My first date after quarantine. “Do you want to see what I learned during quarantine?” 1.1930 0.06352 57 48 7 2
4211 fully vaccinated 1.1930 0.05838 57 47 9 1
4212 Throw me an apple to bite in to. 1.1928 0.04985 83 69 12 2
4213 I’m not good at charades, but I’m guessing I don’t do nearly enough to help around the house. 1.1923 0.05519 52 42 10 0
4214 So yes, I can juggle a career and motherhood. 1.1923 0.06164 52 43 8 1
4215 I think I’m ready to have kids. 1.1923 0.06164 52 43 8 1
4216 Am I making myself clear? 1.1923 0.06164 52 43 8 1
4217 I used to take chances. 1.1923 0.06164 52 43 8 1
4218 Sure, that’s impressive. But can you do that while wearing a mask? 1.1923 0.06164 52 43 8 1
4219 The circus shut down. It's either this, or work as a butcher. 1.1923 0.06164 52 43 8 1
4220 No, you don't understand! I ordered the jungle food, not the juggle food! 1.1923 0.07286 52 45 4 3
4221 They give me a 10% discount whenever I do this! 1.1923 0.06164 52 43 8 1
4222 Juggling your balls doesn't count. 1.1923 0.06748 52 44 6 2
4223 And that's equivalent to the risk of eating meat. 1.1923 0.06748 52 44 6 2
4224 So, you’re still asking me to jump through hoops for you? 1.1923 0.06748 52 44 6 2
4225 Well, no. It wouldn’t kill ME specifically to stop uni juggling. 1.1923 0.06748 52 44 6 2
4226 Don't forget to keep your social distance. 1.1923 0.07786 52 46 2 4
4227 Like I said on my profile, I'm really good at multi-tasking. 1.1923 0.06164 52 43 8 1
4228 This is my last attempt to get your attention! 1.1923 0.06164 52 43 8 1
4229 Better than having an affair! 1.1923 0.06164 52 43 8 1
4230 See? It's just like the directions said. Now it's your turn. 1.1923 0.05787 78 67 7 4
4231 Nice. I'm still hungry. 1.1923 0.06748 52 44 6 2
4232 helluva blind date! 1.1923 0.05492 78 66 9 3
4233 May I share tonight's specials? 1.1923 0.06164 52 43 8 1
4234 I'm not sure I have time for a serious relationship right now. As you can see, I'm juggling a lot. 1.1923 0.06164 52 43 8 1
4235 I left this out of my profile. 1.1923 0.05180 78 65 11 2
4236 And now for my final act… 1.1923 0.06748 52 44 6 2
4237 to answer your question, this is a woman's life 1.1923 0.06164 52 43 8 1
4238 Post covid Tinder date: "Show me your quarantine skills and I'll show you mine" 1.1923 0.06748 52 44 6 2
4239 Honey look, I’m juggling on the table 1.1923 0.06164 52 43 8 1
4240 I don’t normally do this on the first date 1.1923 0.06748 52 44 6 2
4241 It's actually easier and much safer than balancing politics! 1.1918 0.05740 73 62 8 3
4242 I wanted to be a lawyer, but this far more satisfying. 1.1918 0.05398 73 61 10 2
4243 So Eric, what did YOU teach yourself during quarantine? 1.1918 0.05398 73 61 10 2
4244 It's really hard to get the waiter's attention." 1.1918 0.05398 73 61 10 2
4245 Just wait until you see what I can do in the bedroom 1.1918 0.05740 73 62 8 3
4246 We call it ‘Tuesday.’ 1.1915 0.05801 47 38 9 0
4247 I suggest you start off with the tossed salad. 1.1915 0.06550 47 39 7 1
4248 Don't worry, I went to CalArts. 1.1915 0.05801 47 38 9 0
4249 And, I also do windows. 1.1915 0.06550 47 39 7 1
4250 I'm good, but not good enough for an Olympic medal in the Fire-Bowling-Saw event. 1.1915 0.04849 94 79 12 3
4251 Getting ready to replace Cuomo. 1.1915 0.06550 47 39 7 1
4252 This is much safer than being an anti-vaxxer! 1.1915 0.07222 47 40 5 2
4253 First dates are getting more and more competitive. 1.1915 0.06550 47 39 7 1
4254 If you think this is risky, then try their Steak Tartare. 1.1915 0.07836 47 41 3 3
4255 After one drink, Alice felt the need to show off. 1.1915 0.05801 47 38 9 0
4256 But there’s no way I’m having that crazy vaccine! 1.1915 0.07836 47 41 3 3
4257 Do you mind if we switch seats? The game’s going into extra innings. 1.1915 0.06550 47 39 7 1
4258 Okay now throw me the steak knife! 1.1915 0.07836 47 41 3 3
4259 There's a first time for everything. 1.1912 0.05644 68 57 9 2
4260 Post-quarantine dating just feels so performative. 1.1912 0.05644 68 57 9 2
4261 Sure but could your ex do this? 1.1912 0.05241 68 56 11 1
4262 I canceled Netflix. 1.1912 0.06021 68 58 7 3
4263 And, I’m not wearing a mask! 1.1912 0.06021 68 58 7 3
4264 My raison d'être, Teddy? Thid. This is my raison d'être 1.1912 0.05241 68 56 11 1
4265 Chad don't worry, the choices I make for myself can't hurt you. 1.1912 0.05644 68 57 9 2
4266 This is actually my first date on Bumble.com 1.1912 0.05644 68 57 9 2
4267 Well, we're planning on having three kids, aren't we? 1.1912 0.05644 68 57 9 2
4268 You look familiar, weren’t you my Uber driver? 1.1912 0.05644 68 57 9 2
4269 When did I learn to juggle so well? I have 3 kids. 1.1912 0.06021 68 58 7 3
4270 Sure, I can pick the kids up tomorrow afternoon if you need some down time. I’ll juggle my schedule. 1.1912 0.04804 68 55 13 0
4271 Yeah, I read about juggling once. Let me explain it to you. 1.1912 0.06021 68 58 7 3
4272 When I said date night was getting too predictable this wasn’t the solution I envisioned… 1.1910 0.04485 89 73 15 1
4273 I don't know if I can handle a relationship right now. 1.1905 0.05476 63 52 10 1
4274 You’re not the kind of person I would usually go for. 1.1905 0.05476 63 52 10 1
4275 OK, now here comes the hard part. 1.1905 0.05925 63 53 8 2
4276 Now toss me the Slinky 1.1905 0.05476 63 52 10 1
4277 I can even do this while drinking a glass of water. 1.1905 0.06343 63 54 6 3
4278 Now I get why Match said your “relationship status” was “up in the air.” 1.1905 0.06343 63 54 6 3
4279 ... and I'm STD-free. 1.1905 0.05476 63 52 10 1
4280 What? There's a dent in the car? 1.1905 0.06343 63 54 6 3
4281 ...and did you learn any new skills while on COVID lockdown? 1.1905 0.05476 63 52 10 1
4282 Has the waiter noticed us yet? 1.1905 0.04987 63 51 12 0
4283 The juggling is easier than the unicycle part!" 1.1905 0.06734 63 55 4 4
4284 I never know what to do with my hands. 1.1905 0.05476 63 52 10 1
4285 Yes, I do think I am ready to start a family. 1.1905 0.05925 63 53 8 2
4286 Never wear gray slacks. 1.1905 0.04987 63 51 12 0
4287 Dick asked Jane if she turned tricks. 1.1905 0.06734 63 55 4 4
4288 What you see is what you get. Got it? 1.1905 0.05925 63 53 8 2
4289 You think this is dangerous, wait'll you eat the food here. 1.1905 0.05476 63 52 10 1
4290 We're already indoor dining. 1.1905 0.05925 63 53 8 2
4291 And, you know, SOME people only SING for their supper! 1.1905 0.05925 63 53 8 2
4292 I just want to put all of the dangers in our relationship on the table. 1.1905 0.05476 63 52 10 1
4293 But you only juggle a job and an ex-wife . . . 1.1905 0.06343 63 54 6 3
4294 Not always -- just on first dates. 1.1905 0.05476 63 52 10 1
4295 What? Just a typical day in a mom’s life 1.1905 0.06343 63 54 6 3
4296 My mom wears a blindfold. 1.1905 0.05476 63 52 10 1
4297 You’d go between the bowling ball and spinning chainsaw 1.1905 0.06343 63 54 6 3
4298 So this is the "cool metaphor" you've been rehearsing for the last month? 1.1905 0.05476 63 52 10 1
4299 I find it so hard to fill the time on second dates, don’t you? 1.1905 0.04987 63 51 12 0
4300 You think this is dangerous? We are not wearing masks! 1.1905 0.06343 63 54 6 3
4301 And that’s what having a monthly cycle feels like. 1.1905 0.06343 63 54 6 3
4302 You see, this is moderate capitalism 1.1899 0.05719 79 68 7 4
4303 Let me demonstrate how I juggle my anxiety while working 9-5 during a pandemic as the world is slowly being roasted medium-rare— just like the stake you ordered. Do you think I should join a circus? 1.1899 0.05120 79 66 11 2
4304 It's called multi-tasking, John. 1.1897 0.05193 58 47 11 0
4305 My mom thought we'd be compatible. 1.1897 0.06716 58 50 5 3
4306 Seriously, did you just ask "Why isn't dinner ready?" 1.1897 0.06250 58 49 7 2
4307 This is mixed media juggling as an artistic statement. 1.1897 0.05746 58 48 9 1
4308 The most dangerous part— no mask 1.1897 0.05746 58 48 9 1
4309 During the lock down, I baked, knit, and learned another language too, you? 1.1897 0.06250 58 49 7 2
4310 A new hobby I picked up during Covid. 1.1897 0.05746 58 48 9 1
4311 What was that you were saying about being an adrenaline junkie? 1.1897 0.05746 58 48 9 1
4312 I guess I'm out of your league. 1.1897 0.05746 58 48 9 1
4313 Honey, would you make some tea? I am exhausted. 1.1897 0.05746 58 48 9 1
4314 It's a lot healthier than drinking. 1.1897 0.06250 58 49 7 2
4315 Sorry—did you ask for “jiggle” or “juggle”? 1.1897 0.06250 58 49 7 2
4316 So what new skills did you pick up during lockdown? 1.1897 0.05746 58 48 9 1
4317 I thought you said acting risqué in public turned you on? 1.1897 0.06250 58 49 7 2
4318 Quarantine was a productive time for me. How about you? 1.1897 0.05746 58 48 9 1
4319 I've ordered something flamboyant, not flambé... 1.1897 0.05746 58 48 9 1
4320 Actually, I consider myself pretty conservative. Why? 1.1897 0.05193 58 47 11 0
4321 That's truly impressive, dear, but I'd enjoy watching you more if you'd douse the torch and turn off the dhainsaw." 1.1897 0.05746 58 48 9 1
4322 People were complaining about the mariachi band. 1.1897 0.05746 58 48 9 1
4323 All the world’s a stage, And all the men and women merely players... 1.1897 0.05746 58 48 9 1
4324 I'm also a trauma surgeon. 1.1897 0.05193 58 47 11 0
4325 This is easy when the kids are at my mom’s. 1.1897 0.05746 58 48 9 1
4326 We’ll, apparently, many diners felt table side Caesar salad was ‘boring’… 1.1897 0.05746 58 48 9 1
4327 And I call this trick "parenting teenagers" 1.1897 0.05193 58 47 11 0
4328 Chef lost your order. 1.1897 0.06716 58 50 5 3
4329 Unmasking freed my inner risk-taker. 1.1897 0.05746 58 48 9 1
4330 It's not polite to stare. 1.1897 0.06250 58 49 7 2
4331 So yeah, the pandemic really gave me time to hone some life skills. 1.1897 0.05193 58 47 11 0
4332 I need a few drinks to dance on the table 1.1897 0.06716 58 50 5 3
4333 I thought this was better than a boring dating profile. 1.1897 0.05746 58 48 9 1
4334 Well, actually, to be considered a ‘juggler’ you need at least 4 items, so… 1.1897 0.05746 58 48 9 1
4335 Hey, honey! Look what I just learned from the street performer outside! 1.1897 0.05193 58 47 11 0
4336 I used to be a youtuber, but then I said something politically incorrect and I have debts. 1.1897 0.06716 58 50 5 3
4337 Lockdown, shmockdown- check this out! 1.1897 0.05746 58 48 9 1
4338 Now taking those vaccines, that’ll kill you. 1.1897 0.06716 58 50 5 3
4339 No, I just asked for lemon with my water. 1.1897 0.06250 58 49 7 2
4340 Wait, this is unsafe! Put your mask on! 1.1897 0.06250 58 49 7 2
4341 If we post a video of this on Instagram, we might get a $25 coupon for next time! 1.1892 0.04971 74 61 12 1
4342 Which one should I grab? It's a toss up! 1.1892 0.04971 74 61 12 1
4343 Everything's Fine. 1.1892 0.05667 74 63 8 3
4344 So anyways, how did you spend your pandemic? 1.1892 0.05667 74 63 8 3
4345 And that was just the first hour of the first day back at school. 1.1892 0.05667 74 63 8 3
4346 It’s part of the sizzle, Harry. 1.1887 0.05426 53 43 10 0
4347 I know there is a labor shortage, but why do we have entertain the wait staff? 1.1887 0.06630 53 45 6 2
4348 OK, but what are YOU doing to get ready for the baby? 1.1887 0.06058 53 44 8 1
4349 I included it because your profile said you enjoy bowling. 1.1887 0.07156 53 46 4 3
4350 I thought you said "strip club", not "trick club". 1.1887 0.06630 53 45 6 2
4351 Wanting to be liked is not the same as needing to be liked. 1.1887 0.06058 53 44 8 1
4352 First I cut your steak, then I pound it flat and sear it. How do you want it cooked? 1.1887 0.06058 53 44 8 1
4353 I tend to use my hands a lot when I 1.1887 0.06630 53 45 6 2
4354 I bet you didn't expect this when you swiped right on me! 1.1887 0.06058 53 44 8 1
4355 I can strip while doing this, but not on the first date." 1.1887 0.06058 53 44 8 1
4356 I know that your therapist said that learning new tricks can really spice things up in the bedroom, however I don't think this is what she meant exactly. 1.1887 0.06630 53 45 6 2
4357 I wouldn't say I have baggage, but I have some things up in the air 1.1887 0.06630 53 45 6 2
4358 Ok Ok - I get it! Circus school is both real and qualifies as an education on Tinder! 1.1887 0.05426 53 43 10 0
4359 It would be less awkward if you just say something. 1.1887 0.06058 53 44 8 1
4360 So you said you work with computers? 1.1887 0.07156 53 46 4 3
4361 This is nothing. Try raising three toddlers. 1.1887 0.05426 53 43 10 0
4362 You know there’s an app for that now. 1.1887 0.06630 53 45 6 2
4363 Backwards and in high heels wasn’t enough of a challenge for me 1.1887 0.06630 53 45 6 2
4364 Only three? 1.1887 0.06058 53 44 8 1
4365 No more dating apps for me. 1.1887 0.06058 53 44 8 1
4366 I told you I’m not a catfish, my online profile told you I was a multitasker 1.1887 0.05426 53 43 10 0
4367 Isn’t this fun?! 1.1887 0.06630 53 45 6 2
4368 And somehow, this isn't the weirdest date I've been on this year... 1.1887 0.06058 53 44 8 1
4369 And they'll still ask me how do you balance it all as a working mom? 1.1884 0.05569 69 58 9 2
4370 Yes that's impressive, but you still cheated on me Becky 1.1884 0.05172 69 57 11 1
4371 It's your turn to juggle the baby, the home schooling and the housework. 1.1884 0.05172 69 57 11 1
4372 Fuck! Shit! Fuck fuck fuck fuck. Oh god oh shit. Shit! AH! Fuck! Oh my god oh my god oh my gaaaaaAAAH— 1.1884 0.06288 69 60 5 4
4373 Tabling the motion was Robert's rule. 1.1884 0.04742 69 56 13 0
4374 And how was your day, dear? 1.1884 0.05172 69 57 11 1
4375 Okay. But does the coffee taste good? 1.1884 0.04742 69 56 13 0
4376 I really feel like my Bumble profile just doesn't do it justice. 1.1884 0.05172 69 57 11 1
4377 ...So I want a relationship, but right now I really have my hands full. 1.1884 0.05569 69 58 9 2
4378 'First Date' Cliche Massacre... 1.1884 0.05172 69 57 11 1
4379 So now you think I can handle a baby, too? 1.1884 0.05939 69 59 7 3
4380 I just never seem to make it to date number two. 1.1884 0.04742 69 56 13 0
4381 And all Linda has to show for it is banana bread 1.1884 0.05569 69 58 9 2
4382 so what did you do with the second half of the pandemic? 1.1884 0.05939 69 59 7 3
4383 Sorry to hear that, Bob. Figurative juggling does sound hard 1.1884 0.05172 69 57 11 1
4384 I’m so sorry you’re stressed. What can I do to help? 1.1884 0.05569 69 58 9 2
4385 The pandemic offered time to get my priorities straight." 1.1875 0.05693 48 39 9 0
4386 As you recall, my profile said, "I'm juggling to balance my career and social opportunities." 1.1875 0.05398 64 53 10 1
4387 I’ve never dropped the ball. 1.1875 0.05840 64 54 8 2
4388 Did I mention I can cook, too? 1.1875 0.04917 64 52 12 0
4389 Just killing time till the food comes. 1.1875 0.06635 64 56 4 4
4390 I knew Tinder was a bad idea… 1.1875 0.06250 64 55 6 3
4391 Juggle kids and a job? I'm not a magician. 1.1875 0.05398 64 53 10 1
4392 I do this every day,but I'm doing it on this small table right now in front of you so you can't keep pretending you're as busy as I am. 1.1875 0.05398 64 53 10 1
4393 Nothing unusual. I’m just a typical working Mom. 1.1875 0.05840 64 54 8 2
4394 Thanks, but I’d rather just get the vaccine. 1.1875 0.06250 64 55 6 3
4395 Is the waiter looking, now? I'm really hungry. 1.1875 0.05693 48 39 9 0
4396 I see you can juggle many crises at once. You are now qualified to run for public office. 1.1875 0.06250 64 55 6 3
4397 She did it in the juggler vein. 1.1875 0.05398 64 53 10 1
4398 Do you ever try to trick the CAPTCHA into thinking you are a robot, when you click to submit an online form? 1.1875 0.06250 64 55 6 3
4399 As if making the world's babies weren't enough. 1.1875 0.06425 48 40 7 1
4400 Tell me more about how hard it is to juggle your calendar. 1.1875 0.05398 64 53 10 1
4401 you haven't seen anything yet,toss me your drink 1.1875 0.05398 64 53 10 1
4402 I used to juggle my children,my job and my love life,but this is much easier. 1.1875 0.05840 64 54 8 2
4403 My last date wasn’t enough of an underachiever. 1.1875 0.06425 48 40 7 1
4404 Uh-oh, pant leg caught. Heads up! 1.1875 0.06425 48 40 7 1
4405 Kevin, this is how people talk to each other. 1.1875 0.05840 64 54 8 2
4406 I'm rehearsing for the tossed salad. 1.1875 0.04917 64 52 12 0
4407 So... this is what you meant in your profile when you said you were working on a balance in your life. 1.1875 0.06425 48 40 7 1
4408 So, what are you making for dinner? 1.1875 0.04917 64 52 12 0
4409 This is called work/life balance 1.1875 0.05840 64 54 8 2
4410 Can your ex do this? 1.1875 0.06250 64 55 6 3
4411 Yes. This sums it up exactly 1.1875 0.05398 64 53 10 1
4412 2021, amiright? 1.1875 0.05398 64 53 10 1
4413 I feel like I'm the only one giving it my all. 1.1867 0.04530 75 61 14 0
4414 Now toss me your emotional baggage. 1.1867 0.05265 75 63 10 2
4415 And, I will Tenderize, Cook, and Slice your steak. 1.1867 0.05265 75 63 10 2
4416 ..you know, I'm thinking of having a divorce 1.1867 0.04911 75 62 12 1
4417 Look, Steve, I know it's only our second date, but you're not the only one who's feeling performance anxiety. 1.1864 0.06609 59 51 5 3
4418 Does it look like i have time for a family and kids? 1.1864 0.05114 59 48 11 0
4419 Lap dance? Are you sure? 1.1864 0.06151 59 50 7 2
4420 Geez honey, why do you have to have an opinion on everything? 1.1864 0.06151 59 50 7 2
4421 Entertainment, well no. It’s really a lesson in priorities. I try to remember there is no such thing as a minor chainsaw injury. 1.1864 0.06151 59 50 7 2
4422 Merely singing for your supper is so yesteryear. 1.1864 0.06151 59 50 7 2
4423 I do stuff like this all the time. I'm a working Mom. 1.1864 0.06151 59 50 7 2
4424 Your profile said you wore many hats. Why aren't you doing your thing? 1.1864 0.06151 59 50 7 2
4425 Trust me, it's complicated. 1.1864 0.06151 59 50 7 2
4426 I'm Kelly, I'll be your server . Tonight's specials are Copped salad with wild caught tuna, Roast Duk in a popcorn glaze and Roast Beef carved table-side 1.1864 0.05657 59 49 9 1
4427 Don't worry! If something goes wrong we'll just double the tip. 1.1864 0.05657 59 49 9 1
4428 Cruise Ship audiences love it. 1.1864 0.05114 59 48 11 0
4429 Sure, working at Daredevil Circus is risky. But at least if I get injured on the job, I'll be able to afford health care! 1.1864 0.06151 59 50 7 2
4430 I’m preparing to become a teacher. 1.1864 0.05657 59 49 9 1
4431 Michael, I can’t order right now—I’m doing hot girl shit. 1.1864 0.06151 59 50 7 2
4432 I got bored during the pandemic 1.1864 0.06609 59 51 5 3
4433 Not all women 1.1864 0.06151 59 50 7 2
4434 vaccinated ? What ? 1.1864 0.05657 59 49 9 1
4435 I’d love to split the check! Let me just find my wallet in my purse 1.1864 0.05657 59 49 9 1
4436 Another teacher juggling even more tools this year… 1.1864 0.05657 59 49 9 1
4437 I think I've had one drink to many 1.1864 0.06151 59 50 7 2
4438 They say our zest for risk skyrocketed during the pandemic. 1.1860 0.04533 86 71 14 1
4439 I’m afraid dinner’s out. I’m juggling way too much right now. 1.1860 0.06865 43 36 6 1
4440 You're the one that insisted on a front row table for the entertainment!" 1.1857 0.05105 70 58 11 1
4441 But I just ordered the mixed salad? 1.1857 0.05495 70 59 9 2
4442 Yes, my Tinder profile did mention my ability to remain balanced while juggling many things. 1.1857 0.05495 70 59 9 2
4443 I’ve pull out all stops to impress you on our first date! 1.1857 0.04682 70 57 13 0
4444 If this doesn't attract our server's attention, I say we go somewhere else. 1.1857 0.05860 70 60 7 3
4445 Get the swordfish. 1.1857 0.05860 70 60 7 3
4446 So I've got this job interview with an accounting firm tomorrow morning. 1.1857 0.05860 70 60 7 3
4447 Well, it was the pandemic and everyone was learning a new hobby, so I tried this... 1.1857 0.04682 70 57 13 0
4448 ‘But, everything comes with risk!’ 1.1857 0.04682 70 57 13 0
4449 actual photo of teachers in 2021 1.1857 0.05105 70 58 11 1
4450 I’ve always found it easy to juggle work and family. 1.1852 0.05955 54 45 8 1
4451 Some multitask... and some can't even task. 1.1852 0.04685 81 67 13 1
4452 And I'm doing it without a mask! 1.1852 0.06515 54 46 6 2
4453 So, Dwayne, what hobby did you pursue during the pandemic? 1.1852 0.06515 54 46 6 2
4454 What happened to "sing for your dinner"? 1.1852 0.05336 54 44 10 0
4455 My ex-husband said I had a hard time "turning it off". Whatever that means. 1.1852 0.05955 54 45 8 1
4456 My last date was a circus! 1.1852 0.05336 54 44 10 0
4457 Anyone can sing for their supper. 1.1852 0.05955 54 45 8 1
4458 Yeah, but could your ex do this? 1.1852 0.06515 54 46 6 2
4459 So, enough about me...tell me about you. 1.1852 0.05336 54 44 10 0
4460 I find this relaxing, helps me gets my mind of work 1.1852 0.05336 54 44 10 0
4461 How's this for your rock-paper-scissors, nitwit? 1.1852 0.05955 54 45 8 1
4462 Would you care for another drink? 1.1852 0.07031 54 47 4 3
4463 This is not just another metaphor for women's roles. I actually got good at juggling these items during quarantine. 1.1852 0.05955 54 45 8 1
4464 He's still ignoring us. We ate. Let's just leave. 1.1852 0.05336 54 44 10 0
4465 Go ahead, throw me the glass! 1.1852 0.05955 54 45 8 1
4466 Since we've been vaccinated, just going out for dinner doesn't feel dangerous enough anymore 1.1852 0.05955 54 45 8 1
4467 Oh well, what can you do. 1.1852 0.06515 54 46 6 2
4468 But are you Jewish? 1.1852 0.06515 54 46 6 2
4469 Actually, it's traditional to use a 9lb bowling ball. 1.1852 0.05955 54 45 8 1
4470 Dad, I think I am ready to move out and live on my own! 1.1852 0.06515 54 46 6 2
4471 Isn’t that a rather extreme way to get our server’s attention Cheryl 1.1852 0.05336 54 44 10 0
4472 I heard the circus is gonna be big post-COVID. 1.1852 0.05955 54 45 8 1
4473 Jeff, you said no phones during dinner. Do you see a phone? 1.1852 0.05955 54 45 8 1
4474 If I don’t get a large enough tip, I can’t afford to eat, and if that happens, I get so weak I start dropping things. 1.1846 0.05756 65 55 8 2
4475 It only gets hard when I add in the hula hoop. 1.1846 0.04850 65 53 12 0
4476 I'm sorry it took so long to schedule this dinner--I've been juggling a lot of things lately. 1.1846 0.06160 65 56 6 3
4477 We're a perfect match. You bowled me over when we met.... Agree or I'll cut you. 1.1846 0.06538 65 57 4 4
4478 I feel like we are going in different directions. 1.1846 0.05756 65 55 8 2
4479 Sir, for an appetizer I recommend the cotton candy flambe'." 1.1846 0.05756 65 55 8 2
4480 Oh, just a hobby I picked up during the pandemic! How about you? 1.1846 0.05322 65 54 10 1
4481 Look, no mask! 1.1846 0.05322 65 54 10 1
4482 Piece of cake compared to W 1.1846 0.05756 65 55 8 2
4483 If you're lucky you might get a second date 1.1846 0.04850 65 53 12 0
4484 You can't just have water. 1.1846 0.04850 65 53 12 0
4485 All I'm saying is one of these is going to land in somebody's crotch area if I don't like the answer... 1.1846 0.05322 65 54 10 1
4486 I CAN"T calm down. I'm trying to save the world. 1.1846 0.05322 65 54 10 1
4487 Hon, can you throw me that glass of water? And the phone -- I need to call the babysitter to say I'm running late. 1.1846 0.06160 65 56 6 3
4488 I’m learning to prioritize. 1.1846 0.05756 65 55 8 2
4489 See, my tinder bio is accurate 1.1846 0.06538 65 57 4 4
4490 The food’s a little rough, but the presentation can’t be beat. 1.1846 0.05322 65 54 10 1
4491 If this doesn’t scream mom material, i don’t know what else will 1.1846 0.04850 65 53 12 0
4492 I am not a regular girl, I am a cool girl 1.1846 0.05322 65 54 10 1
4493 OK, hop in on 3... 1.1846 0.05322 65 54 10 1
4494 I collect hobbies 1.1846 0.04850 65 53 12 0
4495 First, let me tell you about our killer cuisine.... 1.1842 0.05528 76 65 8 3
4496 There's too much going on in my life. I can't remember my name. 1.1837 0.06304 49 41 7 1
4497 I think I'm starting to get the hang of this. 1.1837 0.05589 49 40 9 0
4498 Not what I expected when I hired a table dancer... 1.1837 0.06946 49 42 5 2
4499 I'll trade you a torch and chainsaw for two balls. 1.1837 0.06304 49 41 7 1
4500 Well of course it wasn’t nearly as hard as your day. 1.1837 0.05589 49 40 9 0
4501 So, do you still think that I need to get vaccinated? 1.1837 0.06304 49 41 7 1
4502 Go ahead. I can do this and listen to your latest relationship stories. 1.1837 0.06304 49 41 7 1
4503 I told you I’d buy dinner. You don’t have to perform for me. 1.1837 0.06304 49 41 7 1
4504 It's not the Pinot. I got my DNA results. I'm 1/16 Ringling. 1.1837 0.06946 49 42 5 2
4505 So, have you decided what you want as your entree? 1.1837 0.06304 49 41 7 1
4506 Your dating profile didn’t mention juggling. 1.1837 0.06946 49 42 5 2
4507 How do you think we're paying for this dinner? 1.1837 0.06304 49 41 7 1
4508 I can also juggle squirrels. 1.1837 0.06304 49 41 7 1
4509 Wait till you see what I can do with the tossed salad. 1.1837 0.06304 49 41 7 1
4510 Like my profile says, I identify as a triple threat. 1.1837 0.06946 49 42 5 2
4511 Thanks for quarantine, I discover a new skill. How about you? 1.1837 0.06304 49 41 7 1
4512 I have 3 kids, 2 jobs, and a single parent. There's room for you I promise. 1.1837 0.06946 49 42 5 2
4513 And yet this is less dangerous than not getting a vaccine 1.1833 0.06506 60 52 5 3
4514 Your profile said you were looking for a gal who can juggle all that life brings, play with fire like a pro and stay balanced through it all. 1.1833 0.05570 60 50 9 1
4515 Could you hold these while I get my mask? 1.1833 0.05570 60 50 9 1
4516 Just don't swipe left until I'm finished 1.1833 0.05570 60 50 9 1
4517 No, I’m not aiming for your Jugular vein, but you may want to leave a big tip! 1.1833 0.06506 60 52 5 3
4518 I thought you said you could juggle four things 1.1833 0.06506 60 52 5 3
4519 Circus life isn’t all that fun, nowadays the circus train is just Amtrak. 1.1833 0.05038 60 49 11 0
4520 You know it’s not healthy to juggle for 30 minutes after eating! 1.1833 0.06056 60 51 7 2
4521 Excuse me ma’am, no wheels on the table. 1.1833 0.05570 60 50 9 1
4522 So maybe you can explain it to the humorless dweebs who judge the cartoon caption contest. 1.1833 0.06056 60 51 7 2
4523 Workin' through Covid's given me a taste for danger I just can't shake. 1.1833 0.05570 60 50 9 1
4524 Since the circus shut down, I have to work somewhere 1.1833 0.06056 60 51 7 2
4525 Can you record this on your phone so I can mint it as an NFT? 1.1833 0.05570 60 50 9 1
4526 So now you want to toss in another child? 1.1833 0.05038 60 49 11 0
4527 Oops. Honey, can you catch that? Love ya. 1.1833 0.06056 60 51 7 2
4528 Try not to stare. It's distracting. 1.1833 0.05570 60 50 9 1
4529 So whaddaya think--too much for a first date? 1.1833 0.05038 60 49 11 0
4530 The new anti-anxiety meds are doing wonders for my confidence! 1.1833 0.06056 60 51 7 2
4531 At least I'm trying to add a little excitement to our marriage. 1.1833 0.06056 60 51 7 2
4532 I just turned thirty, so I figured I should start bringing more to the table. 1.1833 0.05038 60 49 11 0
4533 Wait ‘til the peas arrive. 1.1833 0.05570 60 50 9 1
4534 And I raise our children by myself. 1.1833 0.05570 60 50 9 1
4535 Last of the blind dates. 1.1833 0.05570 60 50 9 1
4536 Ok that’s very good now let’s eat 1.1833 0.05570 60 50 9 1
4537 Did you even read my tinder profile? 1.1833 0.05038 60 49 11 0
4538 I have a great work life balance 1.1833 0.05038 60 49 11 0
4539 I really am not ready for another relationship at this point in my life. 1.1833 0.05570 60 50 9 1
4540 What time will dinner be ready? 1.1833 0.05038 60 49 11 0
4541 You wanted dinner and a show, Jeremy! Now toss me another chainsaw, you coward. 1.1833 0.05570 60 50 9 1
4542 How women feel, how men see 1.1833 0.05570 60 50 9 1
4543 me? Oh, I'm just a mom. 1.1833 0.06056 60 51 7 2
4544 Even though the big game was tomorrow, Harold wished he’d waited until they were home to ask if Angela had seen his bowling ball recently. 1.1833 0.06056 60 51 7 2
4545 I must have scanned the wrong QR code. 1.1833 0.06506 60 52 5 3
4546 Just wait until you see my encore 1.1833 0.05038 60 49 11 0
4547 Hmmm..In her profile pic she had three chainsaws. Definitely a Red flag. 1.1833 0.06056 60 51 7 2
4548 I just want to be sure it's safe before getting vaccinated. Ya know? 1.1833 0.06056 60 51 7 2
4549 I mean, it depends on what you mean by “hobby.” 1.1833 0.06056 60 51 7 2
4550 Still think I couldn't do better than our waitress? 1.1831 0.05039 71 59 11 1
4551 It was a tossup between ventriloquy and juggling 1.1831 0.05424 71 60 9 2
4552 I’ll have what you cut with the saw, medium rare. 1.1831 0.05039 71 59 11 1
4553 Does my career intimidate you? 1.1818 0.05249 66 55 10 1
4554 It’s how I come down from taking care of the kids. 1.1818 0.06072 66 57 6 3
4555 And your point? 1.1818 0.06404 55 47 6 2
4556 If you'd rather the five-course, I can wave down your server. 1.1818 0.05675 66 56 8 2
4557 This is in my profile. I said I was good at multitasking. 1.1818 0.05249 55 45 10 0
4558 This is tonight's special 1.1818 0.05249 66 55 10 1
4559 I told you last night how I feel, but hey, your call. 1.1818 0.06404 55 47 6 2
4560 Ginger Rogers my ass! 1.1818 0.06445 66 58 4 4
4561 My pay? $2.75 an hour plus tips. 1.1818 0.05855 55 46 8 1
4562 Margaret's displays of affection had Paul a bit concerned. 1.1818 0.05882 44 36 8 0
4563 Next I'll juggle the tediousness of the patriarchy!" 1.1818 0.05675 66 56 8 2
4564 I don’t see a smile. 1.1818 0.04795 77 64 12 1
4565 I think this will get our waiter's attention. I'd sure like a drink. 1.1818 0.05855 55 46 8 1
4566 Today's grammar lesson consists of a literal reenactment of a single mom's figurative day. 1.1818 0.05675 66 56 8 2
4567 Triple threat?! *I'll* show you a triple threat! 1.1818 0.05855 55 46 8 1
4568 After spending the last 18 months quarantining alone Carol was determined to "bring it" at the next speed dating event. 1.1818 0.05249 66 55 10 1
4569 Yes I can do it all. 1.1818 0.06404 55 47 6 2
4570 I promise, the second date only gets better. 1.1818 0.05249 55 45 10 0
4571 Fine, take the keys. 1.1818 0.06721 44 37 6 1
4572 Special skills are for resumes not first dates 1.1818 0.05855 55 46 8 1
4573 Yeah, I've had a lot of practice: on my 27 other first dates. 1.1818 0.05675 66 56 8 2
4574 Hot coffee's coming! 1.1818 0.05139 77 65 10 2
4575 I lost my fear of death during the pandemic. 1.1818 0.06404 55 47 6 2
4576 Since I read that UN report, my risk tolerance has really gone up! 1.1818 0.06404 55 47 6 2
4577 I always like to be the center of attention. 1.1818 0.05249 66 55 10 1
4578 It becomes really hard if I add the wolverine. 1.1818 0.05249 66 55 10 1
4579 I should have swiped left 1.1818 0.05882 44 36 8 0
4580 i didn't order a jugular? 1.1818 0.05249 66 55 10 1
4581 And you still insist on going dutch? 1.1818 0.05675 66 56 8 2
4582 Compared to our two kids and my career, this is a piece of cake. 1.1818 0.05855 55 46 8 1
4583 It's no more dangerous than eating maskless indoors. 1.1818 0.05855 55 46 8 1
4584 It's the only way I've found I can get a word in edgewise. 1.1818 0.05249 66 55 10 1
4585 This should now get our waiter's attention. 1.1818 0.06721 44 37 6 1
4586 Of course I am ready for a family. 1.1818 0.05249 55 45 10 0
4587 Don't worry. I'm getting much better at this lately. 1.1818 0.06072 66 57 6 3
4588 This routine is just something I learned from Mom. Is dinner ready? 1.1818 0.05249 66 55 10 1
4589 OK, so I exaggerated a little on my Tinder profile. 1.1818 0.05249 66 55 10 1
4590 Did you pick up any pandemic hobbies? 1.1818 0.06721 44 37 6 1
4591 I'm Jack, but she is a Jill on all trades. 1.1818 0.05249 66 55 10 1
4592 I also perform wearing a mask 1.1818 0.06404 55 47 6 2
4593 I can do this trick AND I'm fully vaccinated". 1.1818 0.06721 44 37 6 1
4594 I'm prepping for "America's Got Talent". 1.1818 0.05855 55 46 8 1
4595 Mother warned me not to date influencers. 1.1818 0.05249 55 45 10 0
4596 No, seriously….. this IS how I decompress from my job! 1.1818 0.05249 55 45 10 0
4597 Sorry,but we're all out of the dog and pony show. 1.1818 0.05249 66 55 10 1
4598 And, so how long have you been living with your parents? 1.1818 0.06910 55 48 4 3
4599 So...Heather tells me you'd like to have children some day... 1.1818 0.06404 55 47 6 2
4600 Are you bored? I'm so bored right now. 1.1818 0.05855 55 46 8 1
4601 Now do you have something to say? 1.1818 0.05139 77 65 10 2
4602 You win. 1.1818 0.04795 77 64 12 1
4603 I'm a vegan so this is how I bring excitement to my meals. 1.1818 0.06404 55 47 6 2
4604 I have too much going on for a relationship right now. 1.1818 0.05855 55 46 8 1
4605 2020's version of "Keeping all the balls up in the air". 1.1818 0.04784 66 54 12 0
4606 I’m no expert but I’d personally be throwing with the *other* hand. 1.1818 0.06404 55 47 6 2
4607 It's a good thing there are no animals involved, that would be WAY over the top! 1.1818 0.05855 55 46 8 1
4608 I told you, I'm doing just fine! 1.1818 0.05249 55 45 10 0
4609 So…I’m a single mother with 3 kids. How do you feel about the circus? 1.1818 0.06404 55 47 6 2
4610 CDC says this is safe 1.1818 0.06910 55 48 4 3
4611 And they say moms don’t have eight hands. 1.1807 0.04582 83 69 13 1
4612 Dining out is more dangerous post-Covid, get used to it 1.1806 0.04975 72 60 11 1
4613 Sorry, it's a rat race! 1.1806 0.04565 72 59 13 0
4614 I never have to call the waiter 1.1806 0.05708 72 62 7 3
4615 I'll get the vaccine when the FDA approves it. 1.1806 0.05354 72 61 9 2
4616 ? Anything you can do, I can do better ? 1.1806 0.05708 72 62 7 3
4617 Okay, wow, I get it. You’ve got a lot going on right now. 1.1806 0.04975 72 60 11 1
4618 It’s ok, I’m a mom that survived 2020 with no job and managed not to harm my children or throw the home school computer out the window 1.1806 0.05354 72 61 9 2
4619 It’s a fun job, but it would be better if they offered health insurance 1.1806 0.05708 72 62 7 3
4620 Can I see your proof of vaccination? 1.1806 0.05354 72 61 9 2
4621 show me about yourself 1.1803 0.06405 61 53 5 3
4622 Cowell was always a tough first date 1.1803 0.05964 61 52 7 2
4623 PLEASE PLACE TIPS IN MY SHOE. 1.1803 0.06819 61 54 3 4
4624 Impressive, huh? 1.1803 0.05964 61 52 7 2
4625 I guess marriage is off the table? 1.1803 0.04963 61 50 11 0
4626 C’mon, it’s the gig economy. Juggling jobs are where it’s at. 1.1803 0.04963 61 50 11 0
4627 I can also have babies. 1.1803 0.04963 61 50 11 0
4628 So busy, busy, busy, but made time for a drink. 1.1803 0.05486 61 51 9 1
4629 So, do I get the job? Or what? 1.1803 0.05486 61 51 9 1
4630 You're right, it is dangerous to be in public without a mask. 1.1803 0.04963 61 50 11 0
4631 On the bright side, I now know where retail workers are turning for work. 1.1803 0.04963 61 50 11 0
4632 I know it’s just the first date, but I thought I’d demonstrate how multitasking is my forte. 1.1803 0.05486 61 51 9 1
4633 I'm a housewife with kids. 1.1803 0.05964 61 52 7 2
4634 So what do you bring to this relationship? 1.1803 0.05486 61 51 9 1
4635 Don't panic, I'm a woman, and I can multi task 1.1803 0.05486 61 51 9 1
4636 Is that all you bring to the table? 1.1803 0.05486 61 51 9 1
4637 Would you like to try tonight's specials? 1.1803 0.04963 61 50 11 0
4638 This is how you juggle between work, family and friends. 1.1803 0.05486 61 51 9 1
4639 .....So, my life is a three ring circus act. 1.1803 0.05486 61 51 9 1
4640 Yes, Kevin, I do understand how hard it is for you, as a social media influencer, to find the time to schedule a massage. 1.1803 0.05964 61 52 7 2
4641 Deperately trying to get his attention. 1.1803 0.05486 61 51 9 1
4642 You can see my hands are full - can you please take out the trash? 1.1803 0.05486 61 51 9 1
4643 Let me demonstrate how my mind works. 1.1803 0.06819 61 54 3 4
4644 The running chainsaw helps keep your attention. 1.1803 0.05486 61 51 9 1
4645 Between the kids and work, I've been juggling a lot of things 1.1803 0.05964 61 52 7 2
4646 All I said was I could walk and chew gum. Gee! I guess you win! 1.1803 0.05964 61 52 7 2
4647 Sorry your dinner’s running late, honey. I’m just finishing up a few things for work, the house, and kids… 1.1803 0.05964 61 52 7 2
4648 Have you seen my wallet? 1.1803 0.04963 61 50 11 0
4649 so I see you had a very productive quarantine 1.1803 0.05486 61 51 9 1
4650 Him: wow I'm so exhausted from my desk work today, I can't tell you how busy my day was. Her: huh, mine was pretty slow. 1.1803 0.05486 61 51 9 1
4651 I know, I know, but they didn't require a cover letter! 1.1803 0.05964 61 52 7 2
4652 I think the hand sanitiser was a mistake 1.1803 0.06405 61 53 5 3
4653 Yes, but can you do all that on a tandem bike without the other person pedaling? 1.1803 0.05964 61 52 7 2
4654 Tell me you read Twitter without telling me you read Twitter 1.1803 0.05964 61 52 7 2
4655 Everything’s fine, I’m fine!! 1.1803 0.05486 61 51 9 1
4656 This is my first date routine. I've had a lot of practice. I'm still waiting to show someone my second date routine. 1.1800 0.06188 50 42 7 1
4657 This is nothing. You should have seen me in Cuomo’s cabinet. 1.1800 0.06815 50 43 5 2
4658 I'm surprised that you didn't put that in your profile 1.1800 0.06188 50 42 7 1
4659 Am I right? Is this EVERYTHING you want in a wife? 1.1800 0.06815 50 43 5 2
4660 I'm glad the timing worked out to get together, I've been juggling a lot lately 1.1800 0.05488 50 41 9 0
4661 Aren’t you thirsty? 1.1800 0.06188 50 42 7 1
4662 What else can I do to get our server's attention? 1.1800 0.05488 50 41 9 0
4663 Yeah, it's a new routine; the state is really cracking down on gun-and-knife shows 1.1800 0.06815 50 43 5 2
4664 It was either this or order everything on the menu. 1.1800 0.06188 50 42 7 1
4665 Audition's tomorrow. Let me try it out on you first. 1.1800 0.06188 50 42 7 1
4666 Please drop that chainsaw on my head, please drop that chainsaw on my head . . 1.1800 0.06188 50 42 7 1
4667 So, is this what your tinder profile meant when you said you were “adventurous”? 1.1800 0.05488 50 41 9 0
4668 Do you think this will distract the waiter from asking for my vaccination card? 1.1795 0.05396 78 67 8 3
4669 In this performance the props symbolize my personal life. 1.1795 0.04373 78 64 14 0
4670 I was gonna ask you to flag down the server, but on second thought, dont! 1.1795 0.04739 78 65 12 1
4671 You can eat when I’m f——-g done! 1.1791 0.06700 67 60 2 5
4672 I'm hoping juggling will become an Olympic sport. 1.1791 0.05177 67 56 10 1
4673 I have just a few more things to add before I get off my “high horse!” 1.1791 0.05597 67 57 8 2
4674 Honey, this is the new version of rock, paper, scissors, Ready? 1.1791 0.05597 67 57 8 2
4675 Behold! Every word of my online dating profile is true. 1.1791 0.05987 67 58 6 3
4676 Because I’m a woman, w-o-m-a-n! 1.1791 0.05177 67 56 10 1
4677 And now, for my next trick: working mom! 1.1791 0.05597 67 57 8 2
4678 I also sell personal injury insurance. 1.1791 0.05177 67 56 10 1
4679 Can you believe it? The YouTube tutorial was only 15 minutes long. 1.1791 0.05177 67 56 10 1
4680 Stop telling me I can’t balance household chores if I go back to work! 1.1791 0.05987 67 58 6 3
4681 My speed dating coach told me the 1st impression is the most important. 1.1791 0.05597 67 57 8 2
4682 Can you please pass me the water? 1.1791 0.04720 67 55 12 0
4683 This is just the appetizer 1.1791 0.05597 67 57 8 2
4684 Life as we know it. 1.1791 0.05987 67 58 6 3
4685 What I didn’t put on my tinder profile 1.1791 0.05177 67 56 10 1
4686 But can you be a good wife ? 1.1791 0.04720 67 55 12 0
4687 Oh! Sorry! 1.1786 0.06297 56 48 6 2
4688 Would you like that diced, baked or mashed? 1.1786 0.06793 56 49 4 3
4689 NOW may I tell you about today's specials? 1.1786 0.05164 56 46 10 0
4690 Before you say anything, hand me your glass of water. 1.1786 0.05759 56 47 8 1
4691 Here, catch. 1.1786 0.05759 56 47 8 1
4692 ...work, life balance and all... 1.1786 0.06793 56 49 4 3
4693 I do a lot of entertaining clients. 1.1786 0.05759 56 47 8 1
4694 I am simply trying to find the best way to pop the balloon. 1.1786 0.06297 56 48 6 2
4695 I know it's date night, but for some reason I'm still thinking about the kids. 1.1786 0.06297 56 48 6 2
4696 Ready. Throw in the glass. 1.1786 0.04838 84 71 11 2
4697 I just added the unicycle yesterday. 1.1786 0.06297 56 48 6 2
4698 What makes you think I'm not looking for something serious? 1.1786 0.05759 56 47 8 1
4699 Remember that line in my profile about establishing trust? 1.1786 0.06297 56 48 6 2
4700 I guess I’d forgotten what actually dining inside a restaurant was all about, 1.1786 0.06297 56 48 6 2
4701 For me, the real challenge of speed dating is allowing you to discover my good points rather than just telling you straight out. 1.1786 0.05759 56 47 8 1
4702 It's an excuse to fire up the chainsaw, which I find leads to better service. 1.1786 0.05759 56 47 8 1
4703 Is this a distraction from reality? 1.1786 0.05759 56 47 8 1
4704 Now you know what I meant when I told you I am literally a triple threat. 1.1786 0.05164 56 46 10 0
4705 Whatever happened to washing dishes?!? 1.1786 0.05164 56 46 10 0
4706 And for my next trick, I'll attempt to balance work and life. 1.1786 0.06297 56 48 6 2
4707 OK, enough. Now teach me how to stop. 1.1786 0.06793 56 49 4 3
4708 And, you thought I would let you use these presents you bought for me?" 1.1786 0.05759 56 47 8 1
4709 By the way, you had me at "hello." 1.1786 0.05164 56 46 10 0
4710 My doctor said I needed to get more balance in my life and not be so afraid of failing. 1.1786 0.05164 56 46 10 0
4711 Flame = climate change Bowling Ball = Government Chainsaw = Qanon Today's winning numbers are: 1.67; 7.3; & 9/11/2020. Congratulations, winners! 1.1786 0.06297 56 48 6 2
4712 Are you trying to seduce me, Mrs. Robinson? 1.1786 0.05759 56 47 8 1
4713 You can see how I’ll be a great mom. 1.1786 0.05759 56 47 8 1
4714 I always put five points for 'Versatile' on my cv, social networks, and dating profiles 1.1786 0.06297 56 48 6 2
4715 Right: “My winter dining plans”. Left: “The Delta variant” 1.1786 0.06793 56 49 4 3
4716 He really wasn't someone I would choose to get involved with, you know? 1.1786 0.06297 56 48 6 2
4717 Am I dateable NOW? 1.1786 0.05759 56 47 8 1
4718 We’ve got the climate problem under control 1.1786 0.06793 56 49 4 3
4719 I’ll be right back to take your drink order 1.1786 0.05759 56 47 8 1
4720 better drink my juice before she takes that too. 1.1781 0.05286 73 62 9 2
4721 My bad, I thought you wanted a well balanced wheel. 1.1781 0.04913 73 61 11 1
4722 It’s easier than staying home with the kids! 1.1781 0.05286 73 62 9 2
4723 So my masters is in philosophy and none. What about you? 1.1781 0.04913 73 61 11 1
4724 Cool but I just need you to cook and clean 1.1781 0.04913 73 61 11 1
4725 I consider myself balanced, a risk-taker, and someone who can juggle many things at once.” 1.1778 0.07309 45 39 4 2
4726 It's the latest workout from Peloton. 1.1778 0.06582 45 38 6 1
4727 Yes, thanks; only the President's job is more tricky. 1.1778 0.06582 45 38 6 1
4728 Rather than have a garage sale, I thought “Why not?”… 1.1778 0.06582 45 38 6 1
4729 Why don't you go ahead and order for me. 1.1778 0.07309 45 39 4 2
4730 Don’t drop the ball. 1.1774 0.05405 62 52 9 1
4731 Good evening, my name is Amy and I'll be your conjurer this evening. Can I offer you something to start with? 1.1774 0.05405 62 52 9 1
4732 Homemaker skills aren't what they used to be. 1.1774 0.04891 62 51 11 0
4733 My Pandemic Pivot. 1.1774 0.05874 62 53 7 2
4734 You said in your profile dating was a circus. 1.1774 0.05405 62 52 9 1
4735 Seriously? You're asking me my bowling average? That's your question? 1.1774 0.05874 62 53 7 2
4736 Well, you paid for the show, the cab, and the dinner... the least I can do is show a bit of appreciation..." 1.1774 0.05874 62 53 7 2
4737 Wanna see me include your dinner? 1.1774 0.05874 62 53 7 2
4738 Now, where was I...? 1.1774 0.04891 62 51 11 0
4739 Take your pick. 1.1774 0.04891 62 51 11 0
4740 The only thing more dangerous than this is that we are dining inside without masks. 1.1774 0.05874 62 53 7 2
4741 I just want to show you how stressed I am. 1.1774 0.04891 62 51 11 0
4742 So, what are some of your hobbies? 1.1774 0.04891 62 51 11 0
4743 Thanks! Your tweets were really impressive, too. 1.1774 0.05874 62 53 7 2
4744 Multitasking vs. Monotasking 1.1774 0.05874 62 53 7 2
4745 I think I’m almost ready for motherhood… 1.1774 0.05405 62 52 9 1
4746 You may want to finish your drink. 1.1774 0.05405 62 52 9 1
4747 ...But honey, you asked me to show you how I'm feeling. 1.1774 0.05874 62 53 7 2
4748 It's a lot easier than looking after two small children 1.1774 0.05405 62 52 9 1
4749 It feels sort of uncomfortable without my mask. 1.1774 0.05874 62 53 7 2
4750 I’m still getting used to dining in too 1.1774 0.05405 62 52 9 1
4751 Parenting a teen. 1.1774 0.04891 62 51 11 0
4752 Please order me another drink. 1.1772 0.05018 79 67 10 2
4753 That's all I carry in my bag. 1.1772 0.05018 79 67 10 2
4754 Feeling ignored, Dave? Perhaps I too should try staring at my phone during the entire meal. 1.1765 0.06690 51 44 5 2
4755 I just want you to know what it's like dating a single mom with a career. 1.1765 0.05107 68 57 10 1
4756 This is so much simpler than when I was waitressing. 1.1765 0.05107 68 57 10 1
4757 Say this is our kids, my career, and us - get it? 1.1765 0.05391 51 42 9 0
4758 Here watch, I’ll pop a wheelie. 1.1765 0.06690 51 44 5 2
4759 Hey, it's less dangerous than raising a family these days! 1.1765 0.05391 51 42 9 0
4760 So you've never worked freelance, huh?" Andy Mathieson, Los Angeles, Cali 1.1765 0.06075 51 43 7 1
4761 Can you grab this, honey? 1.1765 0.05520 68 58 8 2
4762 Where’s the beef? 1.1765 0.06075 51 43 7 1
4763 'Kali with the Western Twist' 1.1765 0.05391 51 42 9 0
4764 Your choice! Catch which one? Now, or I choose for you! 1.1765 0.06075 51 43 7 1
4765 I believe in being open and honest about myself on our first date 1.1765 0.06075 51 43 7 1
4766 In my dating profile, I did say that I was a multi-tasker. 1.1765 0.06075 51 43 7 1
4767 I just don't know if I'm ready for kids. 1.1765 0.06075 51 43 7 1
4768 Why yes. I had a lot of time on my hands during the shutdown. 1.1765 0.06690 51 44 5 2
4769 So, that's what you meant in your profile by "I've been juggling a lot during COVID." 1.1765 0.05391 51 42 9 0
4770 This is why you need to make dinner. 1.1765 0.04484 85 71 13 1
4771 Of course, I would recommend you start with the tosssed salad. 1.1765 0.05107 68 57 10 1
4772 What is axel grease? 1.1765 0.06690 51 44 5 2
4773 It's a quirky habit, but you'll get used to it. 1.1765 0.05107 68 57 10 1
4774 I just wanted to reaffirm our marriage vows and keep you interested. 1.1765 0.06075 51 43 7 1
4775 After this, our checkbook is a piece of cake. 1.1765 0.06075 51 43 7 1
4776 Darling, when you’ve got a minute could you bring some ice? This water’s practically room temperature. 1.1765 0.05107 68 57 10 1
4777 What do you mean by “I don’t believe in multitasking”?!? Her desire to prove me wrong reached new heights today 1.1765 0.05107 68 57 10 1
4778 I'm a single mom. If you want to date me catch the chainsaw. 1.1765 0.06075 51 43 7 1
4779 Enough about me. What about you? 1.1765 0.05391 51 42 9 0
4780 I survived 2020. How hard can this be? 1.1765 0.06075 51 43 7 1
4781 and just wait till you try my banana bread 1.1765 0.05391 51 42 9 0
4782 Which one am I again? 1.1765 0.05107 68 57 10 1
4783 You're dancing around the issue Karen 1.1765 0.06690 51 44 5 2
4784 Just another typical pandemic school year. 1.1765 0.05520 68 58 8 2
4785 I learnt to deal with every risk induced by Covid-19 one at a time, as you can see while being a mother of 2. 1.1765 0.06075 51 43 7 1
4786 This is nothing, I'm also the mom of a special needs kid. 1.1765 0.05107 68 57 10 1
4787 Sourdough starter was just so blasé for me last year 1.1765 0.06075 51 43 7 1
4788 Ok yes, I believe you are an excellent multi-tasker. Frank Buckley Andover MA 1.1757 0.04852 74 62 11 1
4789 So before the pandemic you were a stripper? 1.1757 0.04454 74 61 13 0
4790 Mom still likes me best 1.1757 0.04852 74 62 11 1
4791 We came here to eat steak not to put it all at stake 1.1757 0.05886 74 65 5 4
4792 Can I run for president? 1.1757 0.04852 74 62 11 1
4793 I think I’m pregnant, 1.1754 0.06194 57 49 6 2
4794 If you think that's hard. You should see me juggle my three kids. 1.1754 0.06194 57 49 6 2
4795 Don't believe, do you ? 1.1754 0.05665 57 48 8 1
4796 But can you tap dance? 1.1754 0.05665 57 48 8 1
4797 I also enjoy walks on the beach at sunset. 1.1754 0.05083 57 47 10 0
4798 do you dare challenge death? 1.1754 0.05083 57 47 10 0
4799 Its amazing all the new skills we developed during the pandemic isolation. 1.1754 0.05665 57 48 8 1
4800 Can't you believe my mom said my new Covid hobby was useless? 1.1754 0.05665 57 48 8 1
4801 my ex said I was too much of a people pleaser, pant, pant... do you like this skit? I'll prepare dinner in a moment. 1.1754 0.05665 57 48 8 1
4802 So what's on your mind? 1.1754 0.05665 57 48 8 1
4803 The only thing that's missing is a face mask... 1.1754 0.05665 57 48 8 1
4804 It’s not that life’s too short, so much as that days can be oh, so long. 1.1754 0.05083 57 47 10 0
4805 What do you do on the second date? 1.1754 0.05665 57 48 8 1
4806 Your online dating profile did say you are seeking a woman who could multi-task and balance it all. Here I am... 1.1754 0.06194 57 49 6 2
4807 You're unimpressed so I will now start the chainsaw. 1.1754 0.05083 57 47 10 0
4808 No, no tell me more about how your boss expects too much of you.... 1.1754 0.05665 57 48 8 1
4809 I'll do the floors after dinner. 1.1754 0.05665 57 48 8 1
4810 And that’s when I thought ... nursing school! 1.1754 0.06194 57 49 6 2
4811 Would you like that diced, flambéed and served with a citrus jus? 1.1754 0.05665 57 48 8 1
4812 That's the most adventurous of today's specials. 1.1754 0.05665 57 48 8 1
4813 I really just wanted the water 1.1754 0.05665 57 48 8 1
4814 Where's dinner? 1.1754 0.05665 57 48 8 1
4815 I guess in this case, I’d drop the ball. 1.1754 0.05083 57 47 10 0
4816 The CDC advised this activity to be safe. 1.1754 0.05083 57 47 10 0
4817 Just got a few things up in the air..dinner will be ready in 10 minutes 1.1754 0.05665 57 48 8 1
4818 During Lockdown, I took a online course: How to Impress On Your First Date.! Too Much? 1.1754 0.05083 57 47 10 0
4819 I was raised without a wifi connection. 1.1754 0.05665 57 48 8 1
4820 You actually look like your profile picture. I’m impressed. 1.1754 0.06681 57 50 4 3
4821 - “Quick honey, go get the baby.” 1.1754 0.05665 57 48 8 1
4822 What do you think? 1.1754 0.05665 57 48 8 1
4823 I’m following a new masterclass, ‘Bowling Techniques, Torch Tossing and the Art of Forestry.’ What do you think? 1.1754 0.05083 57 47 10 0
4824 Honey what’s for dinner? 1.1754 0.06194 57 49 6 2
4825 I used to perform in the circus. You know what? I think I still miss it. 1.1754 0.06194 57 49 6 2
4826 I'm not as easy as this this looks 1.1746 0.05326 63 53 9 1
4827 Throw in a menu. 1.1746 0.05787 63 54 7 2
4828 You think this is hard? Try being a single mom with three kids! 1.1746 0.05787 63 54 7 2
4829 On our last date, I couldn’t catapult the match into the shot glass. But, I’ve studied and practiced, practiced, practiced. 1.1746 0.05326 63 53 9 1
4830 Just training up for the start of school. 1.1746 0.05326 63 53 9 1
4831 What? You said you wanted to spice things up! 1.1746 0.05326 63 53 9 1
4832 I've found this is the best way to be transparent on first dates- a lot of guys are intimidated by women who juggle career, home life, and fiery or sharp objects. 1.1746 0.05787 63 54 7 2
4833 I’m just getting in shape for when school starts” 1.1746 0.04821 63 52 11 0
4834 Just getting ready for my zoom interview. The job description asks for the ability to multitask. 1.1746 0.04821 63 52 11 0
4835 I thought you were watching the kids? 1.1746 0.04821 63 52 11 0
4836 I told you, women are used juggle life threats way better 1.1746 0.05326 63 53 9 1
4837 I also learned how to ferment vegetables last year--how about you? 1.1746 0.05326 63 53 9 1
4838 Yes. I have issues... 1.1746 0.05326 63 53 9 1
4839 I used to be able to do this with a machete! 1.1746 0.04821 63 52 11 0
4840 I wish your mom you could see me for the person I really am. 1.1746 0.04821 63 52 11 0
4841 This is nothing. I juggled kids and a career during Covid. 1.1746 0.05326 63 53 9 1
4842 Because I don’t have to rotate the bowling ball on an axis. Do you need a menu? 1.1746 0.05326 63 53 9 1
4843 Am I thirsty? No, why do you ask? 1.1746 0.06613 63 56 3 4
4844 No, I'm the sous chef. The head chef uses real food. 1.1746 0.05326 63 53 9 1
4845 It's my fifth 1st date in the past week. My friends say that I'm trying too hard. 1.1746 0.05326 63 53 9 1
4846 Blind dates always make me feel so vulnerable 1.1746 0.05326 63 53 9 1
4847 Now name a time of day and a chore and I’ll play out my resentment using juggling as a metaphor. 1.1746 0.05787 63 54 7 2
4848 No jab for me, I’m much too worried about long term effects ! 1.1746 0.05787 63 54 7 2
4849 How I balance my home, office ans social life 1.1746 0.05787 63 54 7 2
4850 I hope this dinner isn’t interactive 1.1746 0.06213 63 55 5 3
4851 Can you believe I found the chainsaw on the sidewalk? 1.1746 0.05787 63 54 7 2
4852 This might turn into a career. 1.1746 0.05326 63 53 9 1
4853 Yes, but can you walk alone in the streets at night? 1.1746 0.06613 63 56 3 4
4854 It's easier than small talk. 1.1739 0.05445 69 59 8 2
4855 Do you think I made a mistake ordering the turkey leg? 1.1739 0.04596 69 57 12 0
4856 But can you wash dishes? 1.1739 0.05445 69 59 8 2
4857 Ho hum… Just another typical woman—well-balanced and juggling multiple catastrophes. I was hoping this time I’d meet someone more exciting. 1.1739 0.05445 69 59 8 2
4858 So,your vision of hell is defined by what? 1.1739 0.07159 46 40 4 2
4859 You seem concerned. Just be Stihl. 1.1739 0.05445 69 59 8 2
4860 Paul wasn’t impressed. He’d put on a clean shirt, after all. 1.1739 0.04596 69 57 12 0
4861 Now you impress me. 1.1739 0.07159 46 40 4 2
4862 Better move your drink! 1.1739 0.05445 69 59 8 2
4863 My goal is to qualify for the speed-dating Olympics in 2024... 1.1739 0.06449 46 39 6 1
4864 Best thing about this job is that it gives me a break from my kids. 1.1739 0.04596 69 57 12 0
4865 That still doesn't prove you can handle the family budget. 1.1739 0.05039 69 58 10 1
4866 'I heard it's going to be an Olympic Sport is 2024!' Bob Greene, CT 917-696-6823 bob@contourventures.com 1.1739 0.07159 46 40 4 2
4867 And you want me to have a baby????? 1.1739 0.05445 69 59 8 2
4868 Honey, I know you’re juggling many things, but do you have to make a spectacle about it? 1.1739 0.05650 46 38 8 0
4869 You think this is hard? Try juggling work and kids during covid. 1.1739 0.07159 46 40 4 2
4870 You really don't have to, I promise my baseline for tipping is 15%. 1.1739 0.05650 46 38 8 0
4871 Well, i thought, if i can juggle being a single mother during a pandemic with no job or home security, why not juggle these, too? 1.1739 0.05039 69 58 10 1
4872 I am also taking classes in Aerospace engineering, French and Modern art. 1.1739 0.07159 46 40 4 2
4873 Visualize: dining out with children 1.1739 0.05824 69 60 6 3
4874 If you think this is cool,you should see the games my ex would play. 1.1733 0.05493 75 65 7 3
4875 Now that my kids are a little older, I'm getting ready to get back into the workforce and maybe start dating again. 1.1733 0.05155 75 64 9 2
4876 I can’t wait for you to meet my kids. 1.1731 0.05297 52 43 9 0
4877 Are you still bored? 1.1731 0.05297 52 43 9 0
4878 hey, if this was easy, they'd call it your mom! 1.1731 0.06569 52 45 5 2
4879 So, my father says: 'Let's home school her and get'r into the act' 1.1731 0.05297 52 43 9 0
4880 "Why wait until the second date to let you know who I am!?” 1.1731 0.05967 52 44 7 1
4881 What about you? What are your hobbies and interests? 1.1731 0.05297 52 43 9 0
4882 Is this enough attention for you???? 1.1731 0.06569 52 45 5 2
4883 NOW WILL YOU REMEMBER MY NAME? 1.1731 0.05967 52 44 7 1
4884 Did you NOT read my Tinder profile? 1.1731 0.05967 52 44 7 1
4885 Okay, okay, I'll wear a mask! I DO want to dine indoors safely. Really, I do! 1.1731 0.05967 52 44 7 1
4886 This'll get the server's attention. Works every time. 1.1731 0.06569 52 45 5 2
4887 Oh, so I see you clean it, tenderize, and cut me steak for me too! 1.1731 0.06569 52 45 5 2
4888 When you said you were juggling dates, I misunderstood. Edward Neufeld, Overland Park, KS 1.1731 0.05967 52 44 7 1
4889 What did you think I meant when I said I would have to juggle a few things to make dinner work? 1.1731 0.06569 52 45 5 2
4890 Toss your drink in too. 1.1731 0.05297 52 43 9 0
4891 they say it's better to be feared than loved 1.1731 0.05297 52 43 9 0
4892 Thrill-seekers. They are no longer satisfied with just sitting maskless in a restaurant during a pandemic. 1.1731 0.06569 52 45 5 2
4893 This is a clear explanation of climate change! 1.1731 0.06569 52 45 5 2
4894 Digital detox is grounded me totally 1.1731 0.05297 52 43 9 0
4895 (Dating After the Pandemic) "I had plenty of time during quarantine." 1.1731 0.05967 52 44 7 1
4896 And that’s how women got the vote! 1.1731 0.05967 52 44 7 1
4897 So, how many dates before me did you meet on Jugglr? 1.1724 0.05575 58 49 8 1
4898 What's in that glass is more likely to hurt you. 1.1724 0.06571 58 51 4 3
4899 OK...I put my phone away...you have my attention now 1.1724 0.06571 58 51 4 3
4900 So when your ad said, "Must be able to juggle multiple things" 1.1724 0.05003 58 48 10 0
4901 No worries, I’m just trying to get the server’s attention. 1.1724 0.05575 58 49 8 1
4902 There were a few things I failed to mention in my online profile. 1.1724 0.06094 58 50 6 2
4903 I just wanted you to see what was easier than handling your custom orders. 1.1724 0.06094 58 50 6 2
4904 If you think this is dangerous, just wait till you taste the vindaloo. 1.1724 0.06094 58 50 6 2
4905 Very impressive! But I ordered the rugelach, with an R. 1.1724 0.06094 58 50 6 2
4906 And you say this applies to real life how 1.1724 0.06094 58 50 6 2
4907 I think we are ready to have children. 1.1724 0.06094 58 50 6 2
4908 I hate people that can't put down their phones. 1.1724 0.05003 58 48 10 0
4909 Swipe left. I dare you! 1.1724 0.05575 58 49 8 1
4910 I’m taking my therapist’s advice on work life balance for a spin. 1.1724 0.05575 58 49 8 1
4911 Career and family? No problem. 1.1724 0.05575 58 49 8 1
4912 Hi, my name is Cirque and I'll be your server today. 1.1724 0.05575 58 49 8 1
4913 Your safety is my priority. 1.1724 0.05003 58 48 10 0
4914 I think you scanned the wrong menu. 1.1724 0.05575 58 49 8 1
4915 Service with a smile just doesn't cut it anymore. 1.1724 0.05575 58 49 8 1
4916 Am I entertaining NOW? 1.1724 0.06094 58 50 6 2
4917 (Thought bubble over him) But not as cute as her profile picture… 1.1724 0.06094 58 50 6 2
4918 You looked way more desperate in your tinder profile pic. 1.1724 0.06094 58 50 6 2
4919 I can help you decide. Now, which one do you wish I drop? 1.1724 0.05575 58 49 8 1
4920 just a little something i picked up over quarantine, what have u been up to? 1.1724 0.05003 58 48 10 0
4921 Perhaps we should order first? 1.1724 0.05575 58 49 8 1
4922 I've learned this while the lockdown but I'm not sure where is the right place to do it 1.1724 0.05003 58 48 10 0
4923 Being a women in New York City is complicated.” How complicated 1.1724 0.05003 58 48 10 0
4924 If you’re already put off by these, then you’ll hate my delta variant. 1.1719 0.05249 64 54 9 1
4925 Just sit tight. Your tossed salad and scrambled eggs will be right up. 1.1719 0.05249 64 54 9 1
4926 I value you as an artist and I appreciate that you are a waiter in between gigs! How about my pasta ordered an hour ago?... 1.1719 0.05702 64 55 7 2
4927 I want to take it slow. I’m too busy for a relationship. 1.1719 0.04753 64 53 11 0
4928 Since you ignore the job jar, I had to come up with this act. 1.1719 0.05702 64 55 7 2
4929 The paella takes 45 minutes, so... 1.1719 0.04753 64 53 11 0
4930 Forget raising your hand, this should get the waiter's attention. 1.1719 0.04753 64 53 11 0
4931 I say this gets 5 stars for most entertaining date, right? Or would you rather try catching the chain saw? 1.1719 0.04753 64 53 11 0
4932 Ok, now toss me that glass of water 1.1719 0.04753 64 53 11 0
4933 Your Glass is Only Half Full !! 1.1719 0.05249 64 54 9 1
4934 Not being dressed to impress, Susan tried a different approach. 1.1719 0.04753 64 53 11 0
4935 It’s my speed dating demo! 1.1719 0.05702 64 55 7 2
4936 This is me on vacation...now toss me those two axes and I'll demonstrate me at work. 1.1719 0.05702 64 55 7 2
4937 Yes, a career and motherhood 1.1719 0.04753 64 53 11 0
4938 Dont worry. I'm not looking for an equitable relationship. 1.1719 0.05702 64 55 7 2
4939 This is exactly how it felt like to the kids home from school during COVID. 1.1719 0.05249 64 54 9 1
4940 Don't be distracted by the ponytail. 1.1719 0.05249 64 54 9 1
4941 I'm doing this for tips. 1.1719 0.05702 64 55 7 2
4942 Well, I hope you are impressed 1.1719 0.04753 64 53 11 0
4943 This pays better than waiting tables. 1.1719 0.05249 64 54 9 1
4944 You know, we should really consider Steve for that promotion. 1.1719 0.04753 64 53 11 0
4945 I thought the high wire part was overkill. 1.1714 0.04973 70 59 10 1
4946 This hasn’t done Much for early bird dinners. 1.1714 0.04973 70 59 10 1
4947 I didn't expect dinner and a show. 1.1714 0.05373 70 60 8 2
4948 Not bad for a first date, eh? 1.1714 0.05373 70 60 8 2
4949 Darling, how was your day? Oh, dinner will be ready shortly. 1.1714 0.04973 70 59 10 1
4950 Just practicing for our marriage. 1.1714 0.05373 70 60 8 2
4951 I was expecting dinner on the table… 1.1714 0.04973 70 59 10 1
4952 This is my version of self care 1.1714 0.04973 70 59 10 1
4953 DIY Cirque du Soleil just doesn’t have the same pizzaz 1.1714 0.04537 70 58 12 0
4954 And I’m also really down to earth! 1.1711 0.04348 76 63 13 0
4955 What? I got tired of reading during the pandemic. 1.1707 0.04848 82 70 10 2
4956 I’ve got some bad news and some good news. The bad news is we’re out of steak. The good news is I’m still your waitress 1.1707 0.04848 82 70 10 2
4957 Look honey, things have been a little stale lately, thought I'd mix it up a bit, how's your wine 1.1705 0.04634 88 75 11 2
4958 If I drop anything, just hope that it's the duster. 1.1702 0.05541 47 39 8 0
4959 This trick always reminds me of the tragic endings of past relationships. 1.1702 0.06321 47 40 6 1
4960 This is what I've been doing the past year-and-a-half -- what about you? 1.1702 0.06321 47 40 6 1
4961 Okay, in this analogy, you're the bowling ball. 1.1702 0.06321 47 40 6 1
4962 ...and, I'm not vaccinated! 1.1702 0.07015 47 41 4 2
4963 Summer camp was a little different this year. 1.1702 0.06321 47 40 6 1
4964 OK, NOW try to get the waiter's attention. 1.1702 0.05541 47 39 8 0
4965 But I don't cook or clean... 1.1702 0.06321 47 40 6 1
4966 It looks technically wonderful, and politically naive for me. 1.1702 0.05541 47 39 8 0
4967 Swipe right. Swipe left. It makes no difference to me. 1.1702 0.07015 47 41 4 2
4968 I forgot the set of butcher knives. 1.1698 0.06452 53 46 5 2
4969 Go ahead and finish your drink first. 1.1698 0.05862 53 45 7 1
4970 Someone toss me that ninja star in the kitchen. 1.1698 0.06452 53 46 5 2
4971 You'll be on the menu, if I miss. 1.1698 0.05862 53 45 7 1
4972 This is so much easier on nights we have a babysitter. 1.1698 0.05862 53 45 7 1
4973 This? Nuthin’ compared to being a single mom -whaddya you do? 1.1698 0.06992 53 47 3 3
4974 Like I said on my profile, I'm a working mom that juggles a lot. 1.1698 0.06452 53 46 5 2
4975 It's a bit of a competition in unnecessary risk-taking. For her part, my sister hasn't gotten vaccinated. 1.1698 0.05862 53 45 7 1
4976 I sell the tickets and the cotton candy, too. What do you do? 1.1698 0.05862 53 45 7 1
4977 Child’s play after raising kids, schooling and a career in a pandemic! I’ve got this honey. 1.1698 0.05862 53 45 7 1
4978 I don't usually go this far on a first date. 1.1698 0.06992 53 47 3 3
4979 Quick! Toss me your glass! 1.1698 0.05207 53 44 9 0
4980 Don’t look so glum - I can cauterize the cut. 1.1698 0.06452 53 46 5 2
4981 Paris 2024 should be interesting! 1.1698 0.05207 53 44 9 0
4982 That’s nice, but did I mention I want to Harvard? 1.1698 0.05207 53 44 9 0
4983 So, what did you learn in lockdown? 1.1698 0.05207 53 44 9 0
4984 Tbese dating sites are so competitive! 1.1698 0.05862 53 45 7 1
4985 This is only my hobby, I am really a brain surgeon. 1.1698 0.05862 53 45 7 1
4986 He finally looks up from his phone. 1.1698 0.05207 53 44 9 0
4987 Relationships, huh? 1.1698 0.05862 53 45 7 1
4988 Oops! You might wanna duck. 1.1698 0.05207 53 44 9 0
4989 This is the easy ..... catching the ball by the finger holes is the hard part. 1.1698 0.05862 53 45 7 1
4990 Oh yes, I did forget to mention I am one of the Karamazov sisters 1.1698 0.06452 53 46 5 2
4991 Oh, I get it, you're running for office! 1.1698 0.05862 53 45 7 1
4992 Do my pants make my butt look big? 1.1698 0.06452 53 46 5 2
4993 - Don´t you notice anything different about me? - Is that new T-shirt you are wearing? 1.1698 0.05862 53 45 7 1
4994 Sure, Little Tommy Tucker can sing for his supper, but let’s see him do this! 1.1698 0.06992 53 47 3 3
4995 I was a public school teacher during the pandemic. 1.1698 0.05862 53 45 7 1
4996 What were you saying about agricultural manufacturing? 1.1698 0.05862 53 45 7 1
4997 My ex said I try to hard 1.1698 0.05207 53 44 9 0
4998 Having people attention while speaking about climate change is becoming harder and harder 1.1698 0.05862 53 45 7 1
4999 But you won't get the vaccine or wear a mask? 1.1698 0.05862 53 45 7 1
5000 2020 in one act 1.1698 0.05207 53 44 9 0
5001 … and the kids are in bed. 1.1698 0.05862 53 45 7 1
5002 All good points, but I still think you should just get the vaccine. 1.1698 0.05207 53 44 9 0
5003 Sourdough just wasn’t a challenge after a few months into the pandemic. 1.1698 0.06452 53 46 5 2
5004 They always talk about work life balance, but totally ignore people who have more than one job! 1.1698 0.05862 53 45 7 1
5005 Tinder these days… 1.1698 0.06992 53 47 3 3
5006 This comes with every Bloody Mary. 1.1695 0.05488 59 50 8 1
5007 In case you propose, I want to be ready for motherhood. 1.1695 0.05997 59 51 6 2
5008 Hey, my profile said "spontaneous". 1.1695 0.05997 59 51 6 2
5009 cool, eh?...side benefits of Covid isolation...finally had time to learn some totally irrelevant new skills... 1.1695 0.05488 59 50 8 1
5010 I gave up bowling pins for lent. 1.1695 0.05488 59 50 8 1
5011 Another pathetic response to Grubhub. 1.1695 0.05997 59 51 6 2
5012 I’m getting my nerves ready for a trip to the airport. 1.1695 0.05488 59 50 8 1
5013 Don't ever tell me I can't raise kids and have a career, too! 1.1695 0.04926 59 49 10 0
5014 Unfortunately, the cook went home sick. The management asked me if I could help. 1.1695 0.04926 59 49 10 0
5015 I hope my ex- doesn't spot us back here. 1.1695 0.04926 59 49 10 0
5016 You asked what I like to do for fun. Well, I’m an essential worker. This is how we unwind now. 1.1695 0.05488 59 50 8 1
5017 Safer than not getting vaccinated. 1.1695 0.04926 59 49 10 0
5018 Is this your way of telling me to clean out the garage? 1.1695 0.05997 59 51 6 2
5019 I can't imagine doing this wearing a face mask. 1.1695 0.05997 59 51 6 2
5020 Since I already do this with my job, the house and the kids, I figured why not. 1.1695 0.05997 59 51 6 2
5021 Oh,when I read your profile - I thought you were just using a euphemism. 1.1695 0.05488 59 50 8 1
5022 Hi, I’m Antoinette, flaming baton twirling is À la carte 1.1695 0.05488 59 50 8 1
5023 It's BYOUCBBM." 1.1695 0.05488 59 50 8 1
5024 I want a divorce 1.1695 0.06466 59 52 4 3
5025 YEAH, this is what I do, before you even open your eyes in the morning…. 1.1695 0.04926 59 49 10 0
5026 It’s either me or the clowns from 2019. 1.1695 0.05488 59 50 8 1
5027 I can do this all day. 1.1695 0.04926 59 49 10 0
5028 I haven't checked my phone, so I think I won 1.1695 0.05488 59 50 8 1
5029 What was that you were saying about multitasking? 1.1695 0.05488 59 50 8 1
5030 So, do you want to split the chicken park or not? 1.1695 0.05488 59 50 8 1
5031 I get it, Linda, you’re a multitasker. Now, can we order, please? 1.1695 0.05488 59 50 8 1
5032 If you think the entertainment is bad wait until you taste the food. 1.1692 0.05174 65 55 9 1
5033 I’m self taught, what did you learn during the pandemic? 1.1692 0.05174 65 55 9 1
5034 And now, you should understand American exceptionalism. 1.1692 0.05620 65 56 7 2
5035 I'm sorry, but the appetizer deal ended five minutes ago. 1.1692 0.04687 65 54 11 0
5036 This is foreplay before the lap dance. 1.1692 0.04687 65 54 11 0
5037 Oh,do I appear desperate to impress? 1.1692 0.05174 65 55 9 1
5038 Should I use a crosscut saw instead of the ball? 1.1692 0.04687 65 54 11 0
5039 You may have already guessed I'm a lousy conversation starter. 1.1692 0.05174 65 55 9 1
5040 Hopefully they'll accept this as a tip. 1.1692 0.05620 65 56 7 2
5041 Honestly, I don't think I'm that interesting. 1.1692 0.05620 65 56 7 2
5042 What? you wanted to see a menu? 1.1692 0.05174 65 55 9 1
5043 And I am vaccinated! 1.1692 0.05174 65 55 9 1
5044 I guarantee we'll have a server in 30 seconds. 1.1692 0.04687 65 54 11 0
5045 We need to talk about the division of labor now,sweetie. 1.1692 0.05620 65 56 7 2
5046 Your profile said that you admired women who could juggle multiple things at one time and had their own transportation. 1.1692 0.06419 65 58 3 4
5047 Don’t worry, there’s only a one-third chance you won’t survive 1.1692 0.05620 65 56 7 2
5048 Honestly, it's the only way I can engage in conversation 1.1692 0.05174 65 55 9 1
5049 We will certainly catch the waiters' eyes but why don't we let them keep the rest? 1.1692 0.06032 65 57 5 3
5050 Connie took up juggling since she new her small talk skills would be lacking when she returned to the dating scene 1.1692 0.04687 65 54 11 0
5051 I bet Becky didn't have THAT in her tinder profile! 1.1692 0.04687 65 54 11 0
5052 Actually, being unvaccinated and not masking is even more dangerous! 1.1692 0.05174 65 55 9 1
5053 It's the best way I've found to grab the waiter's attention. 1.1690 0.04479 71 59 12 0
5054 And I can fry it up in a pan and never let u forget you’re a man… (enjoli woman) 1.1690 0.05302 71 61 8 2
5055 ‘This is my favorite kind of foreplay, what’s yours?’ 1.1690 0.04479 71 59 12 0
5056 Ok, so if you hand me the glass, I should be able to get the waiter’s attention. 1.1690 0.05302 71 61 8 2
5057 I don’t think multitasking is making you choose any faster. 1.1690 0.04479 71 59 12 0
5058 ‘I’m the man of the house,’ he said. 1.1690 0.05302 71 61 8 2
5059 What did you need help with? 1.1688 0.04678 77 65 11 1
5060 I only date doctors, what did you say you do again?. 1.1688 0.05030 77 66 9 2
5061 Plus two kids and a mortgage 1.1688 0.04678 77 65 11 1
5062 This is nothing compared to continuing the life i've developed then adding a relationship with you. 1.1687 0.04793 83 71 10 2
5063 It is not you. It’s me. 1.1667 0.04806 90 78 9 3
5064 I just got tired of making sourdough and doing puzzles. 1.1667 0.04623 66 55 11 0
5065 Would you like fries with that? 1.1667 0.05761 54 46 7 1
5066 Throw me your checkbook to balance things out. 1.1667 0.04852 60 50 10 0
5067 Tipping is over 1.1667 0.05403 60 51 8 1
5068 As you can see, I am too busy for a relationship. 1.1667 0.05761 54 46 7 1
5069 I’m in training to become a moyle. 1.1667 0.04247 78 65 13 0
5070 I'm hoping this replaces beach volleyball in the next Olympics. 1.1667 0.05903 60 52 6 2
5071 Balancing family is harder. 1.1667 0.04852 60 50 10 0
5072 Does this demonstrate to you the dangers of indoor dining with the Delta variant among us? 1.1667 0.05403 60 51 8 1
5073 I hope I don't break a nail. 1.1667 0.05403 60 51 8 1
5074 Hi, I’m your former president’s court jester 1.1667 0.06339 54 47 5 2
5075 OK, OK I’ll get vaxxed! 1.1667 0.06339 54 47 5 2
5076 Yes. I can. 1.1667 0.05903 60 52 6 2
5077 דאָס וועט זײַן דאָס לעצטע מאָל וואָס דו וועסט פֿאַרגעסן אונדזער יאָרטאָג! 1.1667 0.05540 66 57 7 2
5078 These are all I have left over from my magic act. 1.1667 0.04852 60 50 10 0
5079 I’ll bet when you asked me out, you didn’t think I’d be riding a unicycle on the table while juggling fire, a bowling ball, and a chainsaw. Told you I was a fun date! 1.1667 0.05903 60 52 6 2
5080 I never to on a second date. 1.1667 0.05102 66 56 9 1
5081 I’m just juggling too much to fit you into my life Arnold. 1.1667 0.05403 60 51 8 1
5082 You're right, maybe I don't actually do equal work. 1.1667 0.04845 72 61 10 1
5083 I posted it on my profile, so wipe that look of disapproval off your face. 1.1667 0.04852 60 50 10 0
5084 Oh, I've long given up my smart phone for other forms of entertainment. 1.1667 0.06339 54 47 5 2
5085 Just something to do until dessert arrives. 1.1667 0.05903 60 52 6 2
5086 Every time you tell me I'm not 'trying hard enough in this relationship' ...this is what I imagine will finally make you take notice. 1.1667 0.05903 60 52 6 2
5087 The First Time I Ever Saw Your Face 1.1667 0.05761 54 46 7 1
5088 Our specials today? Wbat? This isn't special enough? 1.1667 0.05119 54 45 9 0
5089 Did I tell you how I did in Tokyo? 1.1667 0.05436 48 40 8 0
5090 Very impressive, but I still think they'd prefer a tip 1.1667 0.05761 54 46 7 1
5091 Well, you know, I think once I started making daily To Do Lists my life just seemed to get easier. 1.1667 0.05761 54 46 7 1
5092 Usually by the time I bring out the Radioactive Isotopes, the waiter shows up. 1.1667 0.06339 54 47 5 2
5093 I am not impressed. The chainsaw is off. 1.1667 0.06363 60 53 4 3
5094 That's a hot bowl soup of the day, half slice of toast and a recycled straw, got it! 1.1667 0.05946 66 58 5 3
5095 Sooooo ! I can juggle Fire, I can juggle Bowling Balls, and I can juggle Chainsaws, but your still not Pleased ! You want me to juggle Covid Delta V as well....!!!! I don't think this relationship is working. 1.1667 0.05540 66 57 7 2
5096 And what makes you think I'd just go back to your place on our first date? 1.1667 0.04852 60 50 10 0
5097 Maybe you ought to try this sometime. 1.1667 0.05820 42 35 7 0
5098 A little rusty on dating etiquette post-COVID, eh? 1.1667 0.06868 54 48 3 3
5099 Are you vaccinated? 1.1667 0.05903 60 52 6 2
5100 If you're uncomfortable now, just wait til we're married. 1.1667 0.05102 66 56 9 1
5101 I’m an ENTP. What are you? 1.1667 0.05403 60 51 8 1
5102 I have to work on keeping boundaries between work and home. 1.1667 0.05403 60 51 8 1
5103 My friends say I have too much time on my hands, but I’m constantly juggling several things. 1.1667 0.06339 54 47 5 2
5104 I think it would be best that you keep your daytime job 1.1667 0.06876 48 42 4 2
5105 I guess you could say I'm a Type A. But enough about me. Want to see if you can do this?" 1.1667 0.04623 66 55 11 0
5106 Let me know when this gets our waiter's attention. 1.1667 0.05761 54 46 7 1
5107 Couldn’t you find a tightrope? 1.1667 0.06876 48 42 4 2
5108 When you've run out of things to watch on Netflix ... 1.1667 0.05403 60 51 8 1
5109 And that’s why I think vaccines are dangerous 1.1667 0.05540 66 57 7 2
5110 I thought this might catch the waiter's eye? Or How's this for a meet cute? 1.1667 0.05102 66 56 9 1
5111 I've been jumping through hoops for 2 years. Produce an engagement ring or I stop juggling now. 1.1667 0.05761 54 46 7 1
5112 Are those the only appetizer choices on the prism fixe? 1.1667 0.05403 60 51 8 1
5113 Oh, how the tables don't turn. 1.1667 0.05403 60 51 8 1
5114 If you love me, kiss me now 1.1667 0.05540 66 57 7 2
5115 I have to confess I do have some relationships that are still up in the air. 1.1667 0.05540 66 57 7 2
5116 How did we both end up in a sexist cartoon? 1.1667 0.06363 60 53 4 3
5117 What’s the catch? 1.1667 0.05761 54 46 7 1
5118 'That's all very well dear but have you forgotten my breakfast?' 1.1667 0.04852 60 50 10 0
5119 I want a job in the office of the New York governor. 1.1667 0.06363 60 53 4 3
5120 I'm the Renaissance woman of risky start-ups: Ready to dance on my table? 1.1667 0.05540 66 57 7 2
5121 Well now that you mention it, saying yes to hiring the nanny was the best option. 1.1667 0.05761 54 46 7 1
5122 #MyNewYorkerCaption "I've got the 'tossing in the air' part down. It's just tbe 'catching stuff coming down' I'm still working on. . . . Youmight want to move back a bit!" 1.1667 0.05761 54 46 7 1
5123 So that’s all you have to do to get a free dessert? I’m in. 1.1667 0.05540 66 57 7 2
5124 Quarantine was a time to discover my true passions. 1.1667 0.05903 60 52 6 2
5125 I’m busy - make your own damn lunch! 1.1667 0.06363 60 53 4 3
5126 The alternative in the magic show was being sawed in half 1.1667 0.05761 54 46 7 1
5127 Butler Drive’s got talent” 1.1667 0.05403 60 51 8 1
5128 And you thought first dates were boring. 1.1667 0.05761 54 46 7 1
5129 Peggy’s won’t let the new Benihana next door overshadow her diner 1.1667 0.05540 66 57 7 2
5130 Amazing? You should try work,kids and housekeeping. 1.1667 0.05403 60 51 8 1
5131 I wonder how this translates to the bedroom... 1.1667 0.05403 60 51 8 1
5132 Next, I do a career and kids! 1.1667 0.06339 54 47 5 2
5133 'See? I'll make a great wife.' 1.1667 0.05102 66 56 9 1
5134 This is way easier than juggling everything at both work and home. 1.1667 0.05102 66 56 9 1
5135 Another boring first date. 1.1667 0.05761 54 46 7 1
5136 Shouldn't you have waited til our second date to share this with me? 1.1667 0.05761 54 46 7 1
5137 Yeah, this was hard to describe in the dating app. 1.1667 0.07493 48 43 2 3
5138 Honey, be careful. That's my lucky bowling ball. 1.1667 0.05761 54 46 7 1
5139 I didn’t know how to show this on Tinder! 1.1667 0.05233 72 62 8 2
5140 Am I impressing you enough for a second date? 1.1667 0.06198 48 41 6 1
5141 Better than washing dishes. 1.1667 0.04852 60 50 10 0
5142 These are all the hobbies I picked up during quarantine 1.1667 0.05903 60 52 6 2
5143 That’s impressive. But do you clean? 1.1667 0.05119 54 45 9 0
5144 She did say she was a triple threat in her profile 1.1667 0.05903 60 52 6 2
5145 Okay.. now, carefully hand me the glass. 1.1667 0.05761 54 46 7 1
5146 Is this your first time at Fuddrucker's? 1.1667 0.05403 60 51 8 1
5147 So, I’m a mom of three- this is my side hustle.” contes 1.1667 0.05102 66 56 9 1
5148 The bowling ball looked in awe at the world's biggest match stick... 1.1667 0.06198 48 41 6 1
5149 Got Hobbies? 1.1667 0.05102 66 56 9 1
5150 What else do you want me to do? 1.1667 0.04623 78 66 11 1
5151 I was going to add in a bear trap but I didn’t want to go overboard! 1.1667 0.05761 54 46 7 1
5152 Along with my career, I'm juggling these side hustles. 1.1667 0.05436 48 40 8 0
5153 or you could just get vaccinated. 1.1667 0.06868 54 48 3 3
5154 And yourself what's your passion ? 1.1667 0.04623 66 55 11 0
5155 And I do it all without my mask. Not safe, but exciting for the audience!” 1.1667 0.05403 60 51 8 1
5156 Anti-vaxxers and anti-maskers juggling their dangerous excuses for not following science 1.1667 0.05946 66 58 5 3
5157 And you said I didn't have the balls to do it 1.1667 0.05102 66 56 9 1
5158 I call this act “Me trying to excel in my career, homeschool, drink water, text back, cook, socialize, stay sane and be happy” 🤡 1.1667 0.05761 54 46 7 1
5159 Honey, did you iron my shirts for tomorrow? 1.1667 0.04852 60 50 10 0
5160 Your ex was in the peace corps? That’s cool. Unrelated, but check this out. 1.1667 0.06793 60 54 2 4
5161 Sure Darling…Orange Juice ala California coming up 1.1667 0.06198 48 41 6 1
5162 My resume it says I can juggle anything that comes my way. 1.1667 0.05903 60 52 6 2
5163 Just open the app and swipe right, Mark. 1.1667 0.06339 54 47 5 2
5164 Dating as a woman in your forties. 1.1667 0.05903 60 52 6 2
5165 Not much. What about you? 1.1667 0.06339 54 47 5 2
5166 The risk of the vaccine is greater than the risk of the virus! 1.1667 0.06339 54 47 5 2
5167 Well, this is one way to tell me the specials. 1.1667 0.05119 54 45 9 0
5168 is this good enough for a tip? 1.1667 0.05540 66 57 7 2
5169 You try following The Aristocrats! 1.1667 0.04845 72 61 10 1
5170 A day in the life of a life insurance adjuster. 1.1667 0.06198 48 41 6 1
5171 You’re juggling those INDOORS, without a mask? 1.1667 0.05294 78 68 7 3
5172 The ad said it was looking for “determined teachers who wanted to become the very best version of themselves over the summer.” 1.1667 0.06198 48 41 6 1
5173 Now hiring servers 1.1667 0.04423 72 60 12 0
5174 Okay Tom, now your turn. Truth or dare? 1.1667 0.05761 54 46 7 1
5175 Have you learned how to do anything over quarantine? 1.1667 0.05119 54 45 9 0
5176 Online dating is a real circus these days… 1.1667 0.05403 60 51 8 1
5177 Your freedoms are really starting to put me in danger. 1.1667 0.05595 72 63 6 3
5178 They said dating in the pandemic would be playing with fire, but I can juggle that, too! 1.1667 0.05403 60 51 8 1
5179 John look look! 1.1667 0.05294 78 68 7 3
5180 You got to do whatever you can to stand out in today’s Tinder crowd. 1.1667 0.05946 66 58 5 3
5181 „Still I only get 84%“ 1.1667 0.05761 54 46 7 1
5182 What else do you want me to do to get your attention? 1.1667 0.05761 54 46 7 1
5183 New quarantine goals 1.1667 0.05903 60 52 6 2
5184 It may look dangerous, but I am expressing my love for you with these three objects. You bowled me over and set my heart on fire. If you ever break my heart, I will cut yours out! 1.1646 0.04911 79 68 9 2
5185 This dinner might as well be the death of me. 1.1644 0.04368 73 61 12 0
5186 Rather than nude table top dancing tonight, the management wants to try something different. For a free drink, what does a torch, a bowling ball, and a chainsaw have in common? 1.1644 0.05522 73 64 6 3
5187 And after this, I’ll finally be certified to juggle my career, parenthood, friendships, family commitments, exercise, household chores, the mental load, and self care. 1.1644 0.04784 73 62 10 1
5188 If people get entertained we might even eat for free! 1.1642 0.05031 67 57 9 1
5189 Good evening. I'll be your juggler tonight. 1.1642 0.05031 67 57 9 1
5190 I think I finally figured out the gig economy. 1.1642 0.04560 67 56 11 0
5191 What raising school aged children is like during lockdown . 1.1642 0.04560 67 56 11 0
5192 Shouldn’t the tables turn? 1.1642 0.04560 67 56 11 0
5193 Can you get off the table so we can order ? @newyorkercartoons 1.1642 0.04560 67 56 11 0
5194 Can you get me a hoagie? 1.1639 0.05811 61 53 6 2
5195 I learned a lot about myself during the pandemic. 1.1639 0.04779 61 51 10 0
5196 What more can I do to convince you I love you? 1.1639 0.05321 61 52 8 1
5197 I come prepared; you never know how dull your blind date might be. 1.1639 0.04779 61 51 10 0
5198 Hand me your glass. 1.1639 0.05321 61 52 8 1
5199 I can't believe you want dinner, too. 1.1639 0.05321 61 52 8 1
5200 I heard you liked to be entertained. 1.1639 0.05321 61 52 8 1
5201 If you had put that in your profile, I would have called you sooner. 1.1639 0.05811 61 53 6 2
5202 Do you still doubt my ability to juggle something as simple as the work-life balance? 1.1639 0.05811 61 53 6 2
5203 I just wanted more water. 1.1639 0.05321 61 52 8 1
5204 Now, for my big finale, I want you to raise both arms straight above your head. 1.1639 0.04779 61 51 10 0
5205 No worries....this dream is almost over! 1.1639 0.05321 61 52 8 1
5206 I know. But, wait. It gets better! 1.1639 0.04779 61 51 10 0
5207 Can you throw up the glass of water now? Actually I 1.1639 0.05811 61 53 6 2
5208 This is nothing. Try having four kids at home in online school. That’s a real balancing act. 1.1639 0.04779 61 51 10 0
5209 It’s just more impressive when Leo does it. 1.1639 0.05321 61 52 8 1
5210 You can open up to me, I won't hurt you! 1.1639 0.05321 61 52 8 1
5211 Happy Anniversary! 1.1639 0.05321 61 52 8 1
5212 Sure I could’ve listed this in my bio, but actions speak louder 1.1639 0.05321 61 52 8 1
5213 Told ya I'm a fun date. 1.1636 0.05664 55 47 7 1
5214 I had to juggle my schedule to go out with you tonight. 1.1636 0.05664 55 47 7 1
5215 I also threw in a sob story about being raised by wolves. 1.1636 0.06230 55 48 5 2
5216 Why aren't you wearing a mask? 1.1636 0.05664 55 47 7 1
5217 I’d feel a lot safer if you were wearing a mask 1.1636 0.05664 55 47 7 1
5218 Toss me that glass! 1.1636 0.06230 55 48 5 2
5219 I think this first date is going great. Pass the salt. 1.1636 0.05034 55 46 9 0
5220 Of course I can juggle: I'm a mother. 1.1636 0.05664 55 47 7 1
5221 Sorry, I digress. How did your mom die, again? 1.1636 0.05664 55 47 7 1
5222 This is just my side job, but it complements my primary job well. I'm a politician. 1.1636 0.07231 55 50 1 4
5223 And what do you do for work? 1.1636 0.05034 55 46 9 0
5224 You just can’t squeeze everything you want onto those dating app profiles. 1.1636 0.05664 55 47 7 1
5225 When I say "unflappable," I think I'm just asking for a normal guy. 1.1636 0.06230 55 48 5 2
5226 Ok, you can toss me the prenup now. 1.1636 0.05664 55 47 7 1
5227 The tricky part is not knocking over your glass. 1.1636 0.05664 55 47 7 1
5228 Come on, Honey. Just another routine day in the life of a working mom...... 1.1636 0.05664 55 47 7 1
5229 At least for you, keeping a “Work-Life Balance” just means not checking your email at the dinner table. 1.1636 0.06230 55 48 5 2
5230 This is easy; try juggling a job as a systems analyst, caring for a parent with dementia and raising two kids. 1.1636 0.05664 55 47 7 1
5231 Really? Well, men only think this looks hard because they’ve never given childbirth. 1.1636 0.05664 55 47 7 1
5232 One more month of Covid lock-down and I could include a machete. 1.1636 0.05034 55 46 9 0
5233 Watch out, if I drop the ball it could spill your drink 1.1636 0.06230 55 48 5 2
5234 Juggle this, husband of mine. 1.1636 0.06230 55 48 5 2
5235 I'm pregnant. I've only got eight months left to get in practice. 1.1636 0.05664 55 47 7 1
5236 Shouldn't you be wearing a mask, Dear? 1.1636 0.05664 55 47 7 1
5237 your not the same on TINDER 1.1636 0.06230 55 48 5 2
5238 And how do you suggest we get the waiter's attention? 1.1636 0.05664 55 47 7 1
5239 It's not you. Relationships just scare me. 1.1636 0.05034 55 46 9 0
5240 How's tricks? 1.1636 0.06230 55 48 5 2
5241 Ok, Now do you understand what I’m trying to tell you ?? 1.1636 0.05034 55 46 9 0
5242 I majored in multi-tasking. 1.1636 0.05664 55 47 7 1
5243 I don't guess I'll ask you to stop at the cleaners?" 1.1636 0.05034 55 46 9 0
5244 Not what I thought she meant when she said she'd have her hands full later. 1.1636 0.05034 55 46 9 0
5245 I usually don’t do this until the second date, but I’m feeling a little anxious. 1.1636 0.06230 55 48 5 2
5246 "Now, if you'll just hand me that glass. 1.1636 0.05034 55 46 9 0
5247 I never thought I was particularly good at work-life balance. 1.1636 0.05664 55 47 7 1
5248 Go Dutch? 1.1636 0.05664 55 47 7 1
5249 Does this get your attention? 1.1636 0.05664 55 47 7 1
5250 Oh no, I don't cut my own bangs. Too risky. 1.1636 0.05034 55 46 9 0
5251 Are you not entertained? 1.1636 0.05664 55 47 7 1
5252 How about that? Don’t you now love me again, Barry? 1.1636 0.06230 55 48 5 2
5253 You have to admit you’re just juggling too many balls in the air! You SAY you’re ready to settle down but I just don’t see it. 1.1636 0.05664 55 47 7 1
5254 I’m still juggling the whole work-life balance thing 1.1636 0.06230 55 48 5 2
5255 for the REALLY good stuff, you’ll have to check out my OnlyFans. 1.1636 0.05664 55 47 7 1
5256 date night has become just for show 1.1636 0.05664 55 47 7 1
5257 You ain't seen nothin' yet. 1.1633 0.06080 49 42 6 1
5258 It's just that the vaccine seems too risky... 1.1633 0.06743 49 43 4 2
5259 Of course. I can't wait to work in some 'date night' sex to this new act. It's all good, honey. 1.1633 0.06080 49 42 6 1
5260 I’m juggling alimony, college tuitions and a mortgage, but you don’t see me making a thing out of it. 1.1633 0.06080 49 42 6 1
5261 I just felt like my ex didn’t respect the gravity of the situation, ya know what I mean? 1.1633 0.06743 49 43 4 2
5262 Now will you get me a drink? 1.1633 0.05335 49 41 8 0
5263 I still haven't decided if the vaccine is safe enough. 1.1633 0.06743 49 43 4 2
5264 My therapist said I need more balance in my life 1.1633 0.05335 49 41 8 0
5265 Put my drink back on the table, and I’ll show you this in the barrel racing version. 1.1633 0.06080 49 42 6 1
5266 Okay Dude, propose, there's no risk. 1.1633 0.06080 49 42 6 1
5267 Can you move that soda-I just washed the tablecloth. 1.1633 0.06743 49 43 4 2
5268 You asked for something different.. 1.1633 0.06080 49 42 6 1
5269 Dinner? Can’t you see I have a lot going on right no? 1.1633 0.06080 49 42 6 1
5270 I would have declined this first date if you weren't vaccinated. 1.1633 0.06743 49 43 4 2
5271 Cirque du Soleil home edition 1.1633 0.06080 49 42 6 1
5272 Well that sure beats my ‘having a glass of water’ skill. 1.1633 0.05335 49 41 8 0
5273 Just trying to get ahead of the competition. 1.1633 0.06743 49 43 4 2
5274 Ok but what that mouth do? 1.1633 0.06080 49 42 6 1
5275 The waitress is still not going to come over here until we put our masks on... 1.1633 0.05335 49 41 8 0
5276 Skyler figures people would tip better if they had a show while waiting for their meal. 1.1633 0.06080 49 42 6 1
5277 See, telekinesis is easy when you’re riding a unicycle. 1.1628 0.04332 86 73 12 1
5278 I used to spin plates, but it ruined the buffet. 1.1628 0.05696 43 36 7 0
5279 “I don’t need the vaccine. I enjoy living on the edge.” 1.1628 0.07389 43 38 3 2
5280 Would you like to hear today's specials? We're balancing all the major food groups. 1.1628 0.05696 43 36 7 0
5281 ‘I’m fine with water, thank you.’ 1.1625 0.04853 80 69 9 2
5282 I’m getting my circus tricks out of the way early so that the married with children years feel less insane. 1.1622 0.04724 74 63 10 1
5283 Mary, just order the special. 1.1622 0.04724 74 63 10 1
5284 Now that I have your attention... 1.1622 0.04724 74 63 10 1
5285 Multi-tasking is my middle name. 1.1622 0.05101 74 64 8 2
5286 OK. What can you do? 1.1618 0.04963 68 58 9 1
5287 I see you textng! 1.1618 0.05387 68 59 7 2
5288 Well, at least she's not juggling facts 1.1618 0.04499 68 57 11 0
5289 Let's eat. 1.1618 0.05387 68 59 7 2
5290 Impressive, but I'm here for the dancing Bear prix fixe. 1.1618 0.04963 68 58 9 1
5291 Can I tell you something? 1.1618 0.05780 68 60 5 3
5292 That is a wonderful special, but I’ll have the fish 1.1618 0.05780 68 60 5 3
5293 Sure, teaching looks easy... 1.1618 0.04963 68 58 9 1
5294 I’d be more impressed if she was juggling a hashtag or two. 1.1618 0.04499 68 57 11 0
5295 Tonight’s dinner is catch-as-catch-can 1.1613 0.05723 62 54 6 2
5296 I just really want to see a menu. 1.1613 0.05241 62 53 8 1
5297 Because they say it's important to make a great first impression. 1.1613 0.04709 62 52 10 0
5298 Keep up, it's only a metaphor 1.1613 0.05723 62 54 6 2
5299 It's safer than the food I am about to serve you. 1.1613 0.05723 62 54 6 2
5300 Yup. Doctor said I don't need a booster shot. Wonder why? 1.1613 0.05723 62 54 6 2
5301 I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone pas I will turn the inner eye to see it's path. Where th-FUC 1.1613 0.06168 62 55 4 3
5302 Hey! You're going without a mask. 1.1613 0.05241 62 53 8 1
5303 I’m leaving you for Anthony Gatto. 1.1613 0.05241 62 53 8 1
5304 I like to juggle my options when I am choosing a date. 1.1613 0.05241 62 53 8 1
5305 The conference entertainment’s gotten a lot edgier this year. 1.1613 0.05241 62 53 8 1
5306 Just give me two minutes to catch up on some work and then I'm all yours. 1.1613 0.05723 62 54 6 2
5307 My last boyfriend thought I had low energy! 1.1613 0.04709 62 52 10 0
5308 who does not risk, does not drink the champagne 1.1613 0.05241 62 53 8 1
5309 You took up bourbon, I took up juggling...so? 1.1613 0.05241 62 53 8 1
5310 I'm sorry, but my doctor has put me on a strict balanced diet. 1.1613 0.05723 62 54 6 2
5311 And that is why this is easier than being a working parent 1.1613 0.05241 62 53 8 1
5312 This wheelie isn't the time 1.1613 0.05723 62 54 6 2
5313 Housewives cirque de Home Depot. 1.1613 0.06168 62 55 4 3
5314 So how do you decide Mark? Don't tell me paper , rock , scissors? 1.1613 0.05241 62 53 8 1
5315 I gotcha babe. 1.1613 0.05241 62 53 8 1
5316 On a plate is fine 1.1613 0.05241 62 53 8 1
5317 The profile pictures should have been a red flag 1.1613 0.05241 62 53 8 1
5318 Still better than post lockdown social interaction. 1.1613 0.04709 62 52 10 0
5319 Nope, still easier than teaching during a pandemic. 1.1613 0.05723 62 54 6 2
5320 So busy. I've been juggling things all week. 1.1607 0.05569 56 48 7 1
5321 You can see why I'm a Youtube star. 1.1607 0.06125 56 49 5 2
5322 In retrospect,I think I would have been better off to choose 1500 hours of community service. 1.1607 0.05569 56 48 7 1
5323 You'll sing a different tune if I get a second interview. 1.1607 0.06125 56 49 5 2
5324 But it sure beats waiting on tables. . . . 1.1607 0.06125 56 49 5 2
5325 My dating AP did say juggle my between friends alot. 1.1607 0.06125 56 49 5 2
5326 I'll have the chainsaw with a side of buttered asparagus. 1.1607 0.05569 56 48 7 1
5327 So 6 months ago, I am sitting at my desk writing code for some new software and then it hits me, I could be juggling really dangerous random stuff instead...and it just took off from there... 1.1607 0.05569 56 48 7 1
5328 The bad news is that I still haven't bowled over 200. 1.1607 0.05569 56 48 7 1
5329 Don’t worry ladies and gentlemen. She is fully vaccinated. 1.1607 0.04952 56 47 9 0
5330 It’s no different then what I do every day when i’m home with the kids. 1.1607 0.05569 56 48 7 1
5331 Kids? Sure how many? 1.1607 0.04952 56 47 9 0
5332 When I throw you the chain saw don't freak out. 1.1607 0.06125 56 49 5 2
5333 I taught myself while furloughed. I also make a mean sourdough starter. Would you like your bread toasted and sliced? 1.1607 0.06125 56 49 5 2
5334 And that was the last time I asked, “Any hidden talents?” 1.1607 0.05569 56 48 7 1
5335 Are you my server 1.1607 0.06125 56 49 5 2
5336 'I can't wait to see the Entrees' 1.1607 0.06125 56 49 5 2
5337 You don´t make a living with balls anymore 1.1607 0.04952 56 47 9 0
5338 Whatever doesn’t kill you, makes you anxious anyway. 1.1607 0.06634 56 50 3 3
5339 If you’re going to insist on paying for dinner, at least let me get the entertainment. 1.1607 0.05569 56 48 7 1
5340 I still think you should let me handle this Deborah 1.1607 0.06125 56 49 5 2
5341 No, really, I’m f-f-f-fine .. 1.1607 0.06125 56 49 5 2
5342 Little did Peter know that his well-intended suggestion that his wife “relax” would inevitably result in the brutal decimation of the life he believed he was an equal partner in maintaining. 1.1607 0.05569 56 48 7 1
5343 I just assumed this was the new norm… 1.1607 0.04952 56 47 9 0
5344 Tell me again about your struggles with multitasking 1.1607 0.04952 56 47 9 0
5345 I don’t know why you’re always so stressed out. 1.1607 0.04952 56 47 9 0
5346 Everything will be ok hun... 1.1607 0.05569 56 48 7 1
5347 My manager said I had to disrupt myself, get out of my comfort zone. 1.1607 0.05569 56 48 7 1
5348 Which one should I try dropping in to your drink? 1.1605 0.04104 81 68 13 0
5349 Now, ask me about my vaccination status. 1.1600 0.05966 50 43 6 1
5350 I normally don't go on blind dates...too dangerous. 1.1600 0.05966 50 43 6 1
5351 So, what did you learn during quarantine? 1.1600 0.06615 50 44 4 2
5352 Would you like to die now...or after dessert? 1.1600 0.06615 50 44 4 2
5353 Your waitperson is Theo. I just bring the water. 1.1600 0.05966 50 43 6 1
5354 Interesting, I didn't see any mention of you being with the circus on the dating website 1.1600 0.05966 50 43 6 1
5355 I'm sorry, but the position has been filled. 1.1600 0.06615 50 44 4 2
5356 A second date depends on your topping this. 1.1600 0.05237 50 42 8 0
5357 I told you I was adventurous, maybe you should have read my Tinder profile a little better! 1.1600 0.05966 50 43 6 1
5358 Whatever you do, do not spill my water! 1.1600 0.05966 50 43 6 1
5359 I still prefer brunettes. 1.1600 0.05237 50 42 8 0
5360 If I don't get this down, they'll Primary me out. 1.1600 0.05237 50 42 8 0
5361 This is nothing. I'm a working Mom with kids. 1.1600 0.05966 50 43 6 1
5362 I call it Shari’s Jubilee. 1.1600 0.04665 75 64 10 1
5363 I learned this trick during the initial lockdown. Just wait to see what happens next, 1.1600 0.05966 50 43 6 1
5364 And you thought juggling my schedule was difficult. 1.1600 0.06615 50 44 4 2
5365 I've got so many talents, but small talk just isn't one of them 1.1600 0.05966 50 43 6 1
5366 No lies. Exactly what I wrote in my profile” 1.1600 0.05966 50 43 6 1
5367 Hey Bill, would you mind handing me that glass of water? 1.1600 0.06615 50 44 4 2
5368 And the crochet in my vagina is almost done 1.1600 0.07205 50 45 2 3
5369 I’m also very flexible 1.1600 0.06615 50 44 4 2
5370 Huh, someone had a lot of free time during quarantine didn't they 1.1600 0.05237 50 42 8 0
5371 Oh I’m sorry, did I forget to mention this in my Tinder profile? 1.1600 0.05966 50 43 6 1
5372 I'm practicing to handle kids, career, home and personal life 1.1594 0.04896 69 59 9 1
5373 Thats one way to get the waiters attention 1.1594 0.05313 69 60 7 2
5374 Well, I don’t have to ask how you’ve spent your time in Covid lockdown. 1.1594 0.04439 69 58 11 0
5375 Well, if I had to drop one of them, I'm glad it was the glass. 1.1594 0.04896 69 59 9 1
5376 Trust me, it works much better than slightly widening your eyes and hesitantly raising an index finger. 1.1594 0.04439 69 58 11 0
5377 Wow,your work sounds so interesting. For me I try to keep myself busy. 1.1594 0.05700 69 61 5 3
5378 Putting a cigarette in my mouth used to be enough 1.1594 0.04439 69 58 11 0
5379 My mother told me if can do this, there would always be a job out there for me. 1.1594 0.04896 69 59 9 1
5380 I’m already juggling work, parenting, and household chores, but what the heck, let’s throw these into the mix! 1.1594 0.05313 69 60 7 2
5381 ' Maybe multi-tasking is dangerous' 1.1594 0.04896 69 59 9 1
5382 It was a buy one, get two free deal at the store 1.1594 0.05700 69 61 5 3
5383 I came out of quarantine with a new set of skills 1.1594 0.05313 69 60 7 2
5384 I'll just wait till SHE sneezes, for My money- 1.1591 0.07229 44 39 3 2
5385 This is nothing. You should see what I juggle on Wednesdays. 1.1591 0.06456 44 38 5 1
5386 I'd love to join you Frank, but dining out would be the more dangerous choice right now. 1.1591 0.06456 44 38 5 1
5387 My wife is so dramatic...she runs the circus at home" 1.1591 0.06456 44 38 5 1
5388 It keeps me from checking my phone. 1.1587 0.05163 63 54 8 1
5389 This is nothing. I used to be an accountant, juggling the books is the real trick. 1.1587 0.05637 63 55 6 2
5390 THIS is multi tasking! 1.1587 0.05637 63 55 6 2
5391 Sure I am worried about COVID: Why do you think I stay home and do not sweat the small things? 1.1587 0.04641 63 53 10 0
5392 I think they already got the message. We have been waiting far too long. 1.1587 0.06074 63 56 4 3
5393 So Dave, what did you do during the lock down? 1.1587 0.05637 63 55 6 2
5394 Does this qualify me for the waiter job you advertised? 1.1587 0.06074 63 56 4 3
5395 Now, Jack, let’s see how nimble and quick you are when I turn ON the chain saw. 1.1587 0.05637 63 55 6 2
5396 Just watch your glass or Did you remember to put on your protective pants? 1.1587 0.05163 63 54 8 1
5397 Wait till you see how good I am at speed dating. 1.1587 0.05163 63 54 8 1
5398 Dinner at Seven? 1.1587 0.05163 63 54 8 1
5399 OK now I get what being a parent feels like in 2021 1.1587 0.05637 63 55 6 2
5400 Work-life balance is part of our DNA. 1.1587 0.05637 63 55 6 2
5401 You should see my high wire act 1.1587 0.05637 63 55 6 2
5402 Playing with fire, Karen? 1.1587 0.06074 63 56 4 3
5403 this is adulting 1.1587 0.04641 63 53 10 0
5404 I'm just preparing for the job interview tomorrow. 1.1587 0.04641 63 53 10 0
5405 yeah but your app bio said you were taller 1.1587 0.04641 63 53 10 0
5406 The job ad couldn't have been more specific, Greg. Please throw me your resignation in 3, 2, 1.... 1.1579 0.04211 76 64 12 0
5407 These are today’s specials. 1.1579 0.06023 57 50 5 2
5408 I should tell you, I have another volunteer on the side. 1.1579 0.06023 57 50 5 2
5409 Bending over backwards is only step one. 1.1579 0.04975 76 66 8 2
5410 All due respect, but you're not quite what I imagined either. 1.1579 0.06023 57 50 5 2
5411 Just water please 1.1579 0.06023 57 50 5 2
5412 I've had a lot of free time during Covid to practice. 1.1579 0.05478 57 49 7 1
5413 We’ll I’ve had a lot of time on my hands this last year. 1.1579 0.06023 57 50 5 2
5414 I like to impress on a first date. 1.1579 0.04873 57 48 9 0
5415 I used the lockdown to pick up a few new skills. You?" 1.1579 0.05478 57 49 7 1
5416 For some reason, I don't get many second dates. 1.1579 0.04873 57 48 9 0
5417 Honey, you have a zoom call in 5 minutes, do you want the ax as well? 1.1579 0.06023 57 50 5 2
5418 If you could just throw me that bird over there, your flattened roast chicken will be ready in a minute. 1.1579 0.04873 57 48 9 0
5419 Very nice,but still not IG-worthy enough for my feed. 1.1579 0.04608 76 65 10 1
5420 I thought you might ask what I like to do in my free time. 1.1579 0.04873 57 48 9 0
5421 I hope you brought your wallet, I usually only get paid in peanuts. 1.1579 0.04975 76 66 8 2
5422 I'm weighing my options. 1.1579 0.04873 57 48 9 0
5423 I hope she doesn’t go over my drink 1.1579 0.04873 57 48 9 0
5424 I've been trying to up my dating game. 1.1579 0.04873 57 48 9 0
5425 I'm a single juggler. 1.1579 0.05478 57 49 7 1
5426 The dating website said you liked "multi-faceted" 1.1579 0.05478 57 49 7 1
5427 There should be a better way to distract your fear of rejection on the first date. 1.1579 0.04873 57 48 9 0
5428 I get the message your juggling with our future relationship 1.1579 0.04873 57 48 9 0
5429 Your bio on the dating sight stated you were looking for a partner that was a good sport and up to fun and games. 1.1579 0.06023 57 50 5 2
5430 I'm all you need! 1.1579 0.05478 57 49 7 1
5431 What other bachelorette can do this? 1.1579 0.05478 57 49 7 1
5432 Is that all you can do? 1.1579 0.05478 57 49 7 1
5433 About now Charlie, a real man would grab the tablecloth and yank. 1.1579 0.05478 57 49 7 1
5434 This makes me thirsty. Would you toss me your beer? 1.1579 0.05478 57 49 7 1
5435 Since I never have sex on the first date I usually try to make up for it this way. 1.1579 0.04873 57 48 9 0
5436 Send in the clowns. 1.1579 0.06023 57 50 5 2
5437 I also have two kids, a college class, and another job. 1.1579 0.05478 57 49 7 1
5438 Not having to commute during COVID gave me time to develop new skills and still perform well at my day job. Throw me that glass!” 1.1579 0.05478 57 49 7 1
5439 Sometimes first dates just feel like a performance. 1.1579 0.04873 57 48 9 0
5440 It’s my first time on one of these! 1.1579 0.05478 57 49 7 1
5441 Is this enough for a housewife? 1.1579 0.05478 57 49 7 1
5442 You're right; for safety's sake we should socially distance. 1.1579 0.05478 57 49 7 1
5443 There’s a Litmus test on every first date. 1.1579 0.06023 57 50 5 2
5444 You are so much more than just an other task for me! 1.1579 0.05478 57 49 7 1
5445 No honey, I can't do date night, I'd just be thinking about juggling work from home with stay-at-home parenting during a pandemic. 1.1579 0.05478 57 49 7 1
5446 Your bigger risk is being out right now without a mask. 1.1579 0.05478 57 49 7 1
5447 Working mom 1.1579 0.05478 57 49 7 1
5448 Getting ready for 2022 already? 1.1579 0.06023 57 50 5 2
5449 I never stop multitasking, I’m a mom. 1.1579 0.05478 57 49 7 1
5450 The pandemic has really taught me about balance 1.1579 0.04873 57 48 9 0
5451 My year in review 1.1579 0.05478 57 49 7 1
5452 the juggling we all do in life 1.1579 0.05478 57 49 7 1
5453 I have no performance anxieties. You? 1.1571 0.04381 70 59 11 0
5454 Want to know the hard part? I'm scared of heights." Mike O'Malley, Trumbull, Conn 1.1571 0.04381 70 59 11 0
5455 just think how I would do balancing motherhood and a job? 1.1571 0.05242 70 61 7 2
5456 Work and family should be a piece of cake. 1.1571 0.04831 70 60 9 1
5457 Not the craziest date I've had... 1.1571 0.04831 70 60 9 1
5458 Yup, just added it yesterday. Dinner's on you tonight, Andy! 1.1571 0.04831 70 60 9 1
5459 I didn't know you could ride a unicycle. 1.1569 0.06491 51 45 4 2
5460 So do you think we can go on another date? 1.1569 0.05856 51 44 6 1
5461 And this is why I'd be the perfect stepmom for your kids. 1.1569 0.05143 51 43 8 0
5462 Wait till you try my peach cobbler! 1.1569 0.06491 51 45 4 2
5463 It's our post pandemic take on Tapas! 1.1569 0.05856 51 44 6 1
5464 Please be careful not to spill your water. 1.1569 0.05856 51 44 6 1
5465 And then I'll read your mind after the calamari arrives. 1.1569 0.05143 51 43 8 0
5466 That old saw about juggling career and romance? It's just a balancing act. 1.1569 0.05856 51 44 6 1
5467 I used to juggle with nitroglycerin. It was really dynamite! 1.1569 0.05856 51 44 6 1
5468 Rock, paper, scissors is SO last year. 1.1569 0.05856 51 44 6 1
5469 Look and see if that's my left pedal coming off 1.1569 0.05143 51 43 8 0
5470 I'm not as good at juggling my personal and professional lives, though. 1.1569 0.05856 51 44 6 1
5471 I’ll have a coke, and fries. 1.1569 0.05143 51 43 8 0
5472 And to think this is only our first date.... 1.1569 0.05143 51 43 8 0
5473 You say tomato, I say tomato 1.1569 0.05856 51 44 6 1
5474 You wouldn't add your heart to the lot? 1.1569 0.05143 51 43 8 0
5475 Nah baby, I’ve got this, dinner’s just about. 1.1569 0.05856 51 44 6 1
5476 I believe prolonged eye contact is the key to attraction and romance 1.1569 0.05856 51 44 6 1
5477 I just wish I could juggle my work and home balance this well…. 1.1569 0.05856 51 44 6 1
5478 This is my new pandemic hobby. I started on stilts with fruit that was going bad, but there wasn’t enough thrill. 1.1569 0.05856 51 44 6 1
5479 Let me see what I can do in the time dinner arrives. 1.1569 0.06491 51 45 4 2
5480 ....and then I successfully defended my thesis last fall. So tell me, what do you bring to the table? 1.1569 0.05856 51 44 6 1
5481 Ok ok you are better at multitasking. 1.1569 0.05143 51 43 8 0
5482 I work full time, but for some extra income this is my side hustle.” 1.1569 0.05143 51 43 8 0
5483 You thought my Tinder byline was a joke huh? 1.1569 0.05856 51 44 6 1
5484 Just ‘til your dinner arrives 1.1566 0.04014 83 70 13 0
5485 Do you think this will get the waiter to notice us? 1.1562 0.05088 64 55 8 1
5486 I thought I just ordered the special. 1.1562 0.05088 64 55 8 1
5487 Mildred has been trying to impress Bob for weeks. 1.1562 0.04575 64 54 10 0
5488 Now throw me some paper and then we'll play. 1.1562 0.05088 64 55 8 1
5489 And you thought your blind date wouldn't be any fun. 1.1562 0.05554 64 56 6 2
5490 AND I homeschooled the kids. What did you do today? 1.1562 0.05554 64 56 6 2
5491 No talent. Want to bet your life on it? 1.1562 0.05088 64 55 8 1
5492 The things a woman has to do in this place to get a waiter's attention! 1.1562 0.05554 64 56 6 2
5493 I would have been able to breast feed in addition, but I have Imposter Syndrome. 1.1562 0.05554 64 56 6 2
5494 I hear the Beef Wellington is to die for. 1.1562 0.05554 64 56 6 2
5495 We’re out of rattle snakes. 1.1562 0.05088 64 55 8 1
5496 We call it "symbolic entertainment"--it guarantees a well balanced meal. 1.1562 0.04575 64 54 10 0
5497 Is dinner almost ready? 1.1562 0.04575 64 54 10 0
5498 No. Wearing flats isn’t “cheating,” Kris. 1.1562 0.04575 64 54 10 0
5499 ...and it's only Monday. 1.1562 0.04575 64 54 10 0
5500 Let me guess, you forgot the checkbook 1.1562 0.05088 64 55 8 1
5501 you almost had me at hello. 1.1562 0.05088 64 55 8 1
5502 …So that’s when i told myself, no more first date acts — be upfront and showcase the REAL you! 1.1562 0.05088 64 55 8 1
5503 Honey, I have no reason to worry about the new variant 1.1562 0.05088 64 55 8 1
5504 I just want dinner not dinner and a show! 1.1558 0.05250 77 68 6 3
5505 Person, Woman, Man, Camera, TV is, like, SO 2020 1.1556 0.07075 45 40 3 2
5506 What did YOU do during lockdown? 1.1556 0.06321 45 39 5 1
5507 I saw Harry Anderson do this once on SNL. 1.1556 0.06321 45 39 5 1
5508 You do not look impressed, but can do even more in bed 1.1556 0.05464 45 38 7 0
5509 and I can bring home the bacon 1.1556 0.05464 45 38 7 0
5510 ok, your profile did say great multitasker 1.1556 0.05464 45 38 7 0
5511 I’ll have a tossed salad. 1.1556 0.05464 45 38 7 0
5512 Great, but we really need you to have zero balance on your credit card to pay the bill. 1.1556 0.06321 45 39 5 1
5513 Now, throw me the baby! 1.1556 0.05464 45 38 7 0
5514 Planning for the next COVID school year be like.... 1.1556 0.06321 45 39 5 1
5515 This is nothing compared to kids, a job and Covid. 1.1556 0.06321 45 39 5 1
5516 See, I’m not like the other girls! 1.1556 0.06321 45 39 5 1
5517 You’re still going to make dinner right? 1.1556 0.06321 45 39 5 1
5518 Well it was a no-brainer for my career after I finished my humanities PhD 1.1556 0.06321 45 39 5 1
5519 At least we had online courses during the quarantine…. 1.1552 0.04796 58 49 9 0
5520 Aren't you glad you swiped right? 1.1552 0.05924 58 51 5 2
5521 You should see what I have in store back at my place. 1.1552 0.05390 58 50 7 1
5522 Yes,I am the entertainment while the paramedics revive the chef from heat exhaustion! 1.1552 0.05390 58 50 7 1
5523 Is this dinner presentation creative enough for you? 1.1552 0.05390 58 50 7 1
5524 Compared to this, the vaccine is pretty easy. 1.1552 0.04796 58 49 9 0
5525 Got any card tricks ? 1.1552 0.05924 58 51 5 2
5526 And I just made sourdough bread during Covid. 1.1552 0.05390 58 50 7 1
5527 That’s great, but can you bake a cherry pie? 1.1552 0.05390 58 50 7 1
5528 Call me crazy but I just like to put it all out there on the table. 1.1552 0.05924 58 51 5 2
5529 You Tube it, it’s easy. 1.1552 0.04796 58 49 9 0
5530 Our last Lamaze class was especially helpful. 1.1552 0.05924 58 51 5 2
5531 And after this, you're immune to the Delta variant 1.1552 0.05390 58 50 7 1
5532 I've always been clumsy with small talk... ya know? 1.1552 0.04796 58 49 9 0
5533 So what hobbies did you pick up during quarantine? 1.1552 0.04796 58 49 9 0
5534 Appetizer? 1.1552 0.05924 58 51 5 2
5535 This is nothing; you should see my 'home schooling, Zoom meeting, Covid precautions act!' 1.1552 0.05924 58 51 5 2
5536 I told you I was being honest in my OK Cupid profile! 1.1552 0.05390 58 50 7 1
5537 Up until a few weeks ago I was CEO of a major department store. 1.1552 0.05390 58 50 7 1
5538 You were really bored during Covid. 1.1552 0.05390 58 50 7 1
5539 You should see what I will do for you for $200 more! 1.1552 0.05924 58 51 5 2
5540 I know this is meant to be relaxing, but I have a hard time “turning it off” these days. 1.1552 0.05924 58 51 5 2
5541 This isn’t what I meant when I said we should try juggling. 1.1552 0.05390 58 50 7 1
5542 See, it's easy! 1.1552 0.05390 58 50 7 1
5543 And when I add the rattle snakes... 1.1552 0.04796 58 49 9 0
5544 Hey get me a drink, will you” 1.1552 0.05390 58 50 7 1
5545 Welcome to T.G.I. Dangerous 1.1552 0.05390 58 50 7 1
5546 And then,I feed the baby. 1.1552 0.05390 58 50 7 1
5547 Okay,okay I believe everything on your profile was true now! 1.1552 0.04796 58 49 9 0
5548 I just wanted some bread 1.1552 0.04796 58 49 9 0
5549 Second date, three chainsaws! 1.1552 0.05390 58 50 7 1
5550 This seemed easier than juggling my job,our marriage and the kids. 1.1552 0.05390 58 50 7 1
5551 Oh, by the way, my mother is coming to live with us. 1.1552 0.05924 58 51 5 2
5552 I should get at least 20% tip for this, right? 1.1552 0.05390 58 50 7 1
5553 I’ll just have a salad, thanks. 1.1552 0.04796 58 49 9 0
5554 And that’s only what I mastered during the first 2 months of lockdown 1.1552 0.05390 58 50 7 1
5555 My first glass after vaccination. 1.1552 0.05390 58 50 7 1
5556 What do I do? It's a gig economy. What don't I do? 1.1552 0.05390 58 50 7 1
5557 I’m sorry Jim. I’m leaving you. 1.1552 0.06415 58 52 3 3
5558 So can you visualize what mental load is now ? 1.1552 0.05924 58 51 5 2
5559 You see? Tinder doesn’t quite let me show what I’m capable of. 1.1552 0.04796 58 49 9 0
5560 Me trying to study my lessons, pursue my art career and find a proper job in the 21st century. 1.1552 0.04796 58 49 9 0
5561 I hope you would handle my mood swings baby " 1.1552 0.04796 58 49 9 0
5562 Boy, she's an exciting first date and so talented too. I feel like such a dud. 1.1549 0.04767 71 61 9 1
5563 I’m still going to complain about the service charge, Karen. 1.1549 0.04325 71 60 11 0
5564 Let's have a baby. 1.1549 0.05548 71 63 5 3
5565 Do you mind holding this stuff for me, Walter, while I ride my cycle on the table? 1.1549 0.04767 71 61 9 1
5566 Usually I swipe left. 1.1549 0.04325 71 60 11 0
5567 „What can I say, I’m just a regular, working mum” 1.1549 0.04767 71 61 9 1
5568 Emotional Labor. 1.1549 0.04767 71 61 9 1
5569 Would you prefer to see the vegan options? 1.1538 0.05052 52 44 8 0
5570 You mostly caught up on Netflix during quarantine? That's cool too 1.1538 0.05052 52 44 8 0
5571 I want to share the new normal with you, Robert. 1.1538 0.05052 52 44 8 0
5572 It's called "Catch the Power Saw". 1.1538 0.05896 65 58 4 3
5573 It's the new multi-tasking. 1.1538 0.05052 52 44 8 0
5574 Do I have your attention now? 1.1538 0.05052 52 44 8 0
5575 So what's not to like about throwing up on the table? 1.1538 0.05015 65 56 8 1
5576 Dinner and a show at home has come a long way. 1.1538 0.05015 65 56 8 1
5577 My tip for you is don't move. Your tip for me better be good! 1.1538 0.05052 52 44 8 0
5578 I'm still just tipping 15 percent. 1.1538 0.05473 65 57 6 2
5579 No your dinner isn't ready, I am still juggling with loads of other jobs you left me with 1.1538 0.05750 52 45 6 1
5580 There was no box to check on Indeed.com for the many talents I bring to the table .... 1.1538 0.06372 52 46 4 2
5581 OK, now toss me your drink. 1.1538 0.05015 65 56 8 1
5582 Maybe this will finally get the waiter's attention. 1.1538 0.05750 52 45 6 1
5583 As much as I absolutely love hearing another enthralling tale of you and Andy almost falling asleep at your 4:00 pm company dress code meeting … Here’s a visual representation of the easiest thing I’ve done today. But by all means, please continue. 1.1538 0.05750 52 45 6 1
5584 Im sorry - the main attraction has faded. 1.1538 0.04510 65 55 10 0
5585 Will dating you be worth the risks I would be taking? 1.1538 0.04510 65 55 10 0
5586 This trick precludes my having to juggle a relationship later. 1.1538 0.05015 65 56 8 1
5587 It's part of the package: I'll take your order in a sec. 1.1538 0.05052 52 44 8 0
5588 No, I can't cook, but check this out. 1.1538 0.05750 52 45 6 1
5589 Right after they told me ‘the food was to die for’! 1.1538 0.05750 52 45 6 1
5590 Kelly felt that she did well in her job interview for ADMINISTRATIVE COORDINATOR. (submitted by my good friend and former AC, Karee Buffin) 1.1538 0.05052 52 44 8 0
5591 When we set up this blind date I wasn't aware you were proficient in all these occupations 1.1538 0.05052 52 44 8 0
5592 I should tell you right out that I can't cook. 1.1538 0.06372 52 46 4 2
5593 I'm really sorry about what happened to your companion. 1.1538 0.06939 52 47 2 3
5594 My previous boyfriend wasn’t impressed, either. 1.1538 0.04510 65 55 10 0
5595 If I lose a limb, your meal’s free. 1.1538 0.05750 52 45 6 1
5596 I just don't really have room for you in my life right now 1.1538 0.04510 65 55 10 0
5597 Yeah, it's an extreme but effective way to ensure customers social distance when we tell them about the specials. 1.1538 0.05473 65 57 6 2
5598 Just trying to get the waiter’s attention 1.1538 0.05015 65 56 8 1
5599 Would you like a refill of adrenaline? 1.1538 0.05015 65 56 8 1
5600 Would you like sparkling or still? 1.1538 0.05015 65 56 8 1
5601 I’ve learned these during confinement three 1.1538 0.05750 52 45 6 1
5602 That’s great and all, but are you vaccinated? 1.1538 0.05052 52 44 8 0
5603 Can you make mine to go? 1.1538 0.04510 65 55 10 0
5604 Okay, you’ve proven your point, one kid is enough. 1.1538 0.05750 52 45 6 1
5605 Of course I also tried my hand at baking sourdough, but my cat said this was a better showcase of my talents. 1.1538 0.06372 52 46 4 2
5606 Women can have it all - pandemic edition. 1.1538 0.04510 65 55 10 0
5607 Watch and learn 1.1538 0.05015 65 56 8 1
5608 Do you think now the waiter will see us? 1.1538 0.05015 65 56 8 1
5609 I just asked what you did for a living... 1.1538 0.04510 65 55 10 0
5610 Bob, this is how governments are handling COVID, climate change, and inequality. So no worries! We are all going to be just fine… 1.1538 0.05750 52 45 6 1
5611 That don't impress me much! The juggle is infact, real. 1.1538 0.05015 65 56 8 1
5612 Multi-tasking? 1.1528 0.05104 72 63 7 2
5613 This is the part I couldn't fit in my Tinder profile... 1.1528 0.05104 72 63 7 2
5614 Do you think I’ll be OK since I forgot to wear a mask? 1.1528 0.04706 72 62 9 1
5615 Jill’s Tinder date was fascinated & terrified to see the skills she developed during the pandemic. 1.1528 0.04706 72 62 9 1
5616 which of these would you like to order from life’s menu 1.1528 0.04270 72 61 11 0
5617 No kidding, throw your glass of water up here. 1.1525 0.05304 59 51 7 1
5618 Well, you did order the "Chef's Special". 1.1525 0.05304 59 51 7 1
5619 What is it about me again that makes you anxious? 1.1525 0.04721 59 50 9 0
5620 This?! This is easy--I've got child care, health insurance and rent I have to juggle! 1.1525 0.05304 59 51 7 1
5621 You’re sitting at my table but you’re welcome to stay. 1.1525 0.04721 59 50 9 0
5622 I considered Harvard but these days clown college offers better career prospects. 1.1525 0.05304 59 51 7 1
5623 Just like my profile said - balanced. 1.1525 0.04721 59 50 9 0
5624 It’s a new fusion place - dinner is the show. 1.1525 0.05829 59 52 5 2
5625 Now - the 'Catalina Magdalena Lupensteiner Wallabeiner' song. 1.1525 0.06310 59 53 3 3
5626 It's all about balance. 1.1525 0.05304 59 51 7 1
5627 When you mentioned you were "juggling a lot right now," this is not what I had in mind. 1.1525 0.05304 59 51 7 1
5628 So... do you have a great personality and are a good dancer? 1.1525 0.04721 59 50 9 0
5629 I asked only what you liked to do for enjoyment. 1.1525 0.05304 59 51 7 1
5630 I mastered it during my 6 months quarantine 1.1525 0.04721 59 50 9 0
5631 Easy once you are vaccinated 1.1525 0.06310 59 53 3 3
5632 All of this stuff is yours. 1.1525 0.04721 59 50 9 0
5633 I’m juggling enough things already! YOU be the stay-at-home parent! 1.1525 0.05304 59 51 7 1
5634 The Olympic Games inspired me. 1.1525 0.05829 59 52 5 2
5635 You're never going to impress my mother. 1.1525 0.05304 59 51 7 1
5636 I've got the waiter's attention. Hold up two fingers. 1.1525 0.05304 59 51 7 1
5637 And how do you want that cooked? 1.1525 0.05304 59 51 7 1
5638 Can you come back when my date gets here? 1.1525 0.04721 59 50 9 0
5639 You can take the girl out of the circus... 1.1525 0.05304 59 51 7 1
5640 -anyway how’ve YOU been? how://www.newyorker.com/cartoons/contest#thisweek?reload=true 1.1525 0.05829 59 52 5 2
5641 Now throw me the glass of water. 1.1525 0.05304 59 51 7 1
5642 All I’m missing is a baby, and I’m hoping you can help with that. 1.1525 0.05304 59 51 7 1
5643 Wait till I show you what ELSE I learned in quarantine! 1.1525 0.05304 59 51 7 1
5644 I'm thinking of getting a cat. 1.1525 0.05304 59 51 7 1
5645 This is nothing; you should see me with 2 kids and a job. 1.1525 0.05304 59 51 7 1
5646 Your table side is nice, but does it beat the guacamole? 1.1525 0.05304 59 51 7 1
5647 How did you know I was against getting vaccinated? 1.1525 0.05829 59 52 5 2
5648 He didn’t fall for any of my usual parlor tricks 1.1525 0.04721 59 50 9 0
5649 He-peat this. 1.1525 0.04721 59 50 9 0
5650 During dinner with Juggling Jane, Ted was relieved he had swiped left on Crocodile Hunter Cathy. 1.1525 0.05304 59 51 7 1
5651 Now I get why she says it’s easier when you have balls! 1.1525 0.05829 59 52 5 2
5652 You seem stressed, I think you should find your balance 1.1525 0.05304 59 51 7 1
5653 A baby will just add to the act! 1.1522 0.06191 46 40 5 1
5654 Fine, I’ll get down but there no real proof that vaccines aren’t dangerous. 1.1522 0.06928 46 41 3 2
5655 Having a kid would not be a problem. You just toss her to me at the right time. 1.1522 0.06191 46 40 5 1
5656 Sit still, honey, I'm about to hop over the glass and balance on your head for my grand finale. 1.1522 0.06928 46 41 3 2
5657 How would you like your steak cooked? 1.1522 0.05354 46 39 7 0
5658 I make pretty good tips if I don't drop any. 1.1522 0.05354 46 39 7 0
5659 Your dating profile made you seem a lot more laid back... 1.1522 0.05354 46 39 7 0
5660 Women have to juggle things there whole life. 1.1515 0.04447 66 56 10 0
5661 I also like long walks on the beach. 1.1515 0.04447 66 56 10 0
5662 It's all in the wrist. 1.1515 0.05811 66 59 4 3
5663 You're a nice guy and all, but I just have a lot going on right now 1.1515 0.04944 66 57 8 1
5664 If you toss me that glass on the table, I think I can become a professional! 1.1515 0.04944 66 57 8 1
5665 Anyone can scramble eggs. 1.1515 0.04944 66 57 8 1
5666 I used to juggle 4 of these, but it's ok, I'm good with 3 now. 1.1515 0.04447 66 56 10 0
5667 I tried standing on my head and spitting quarters... 1.1515 0.04447 66 56 10 0
5668 So how do you use your time in quarantine? 1.1515 0.04944 66 57 8 1
5669 ... and I work in a bank. 1.1515 0.05395 66 58 6 2
5670 We've decided to change the 'amuse-bouche' menu. 1.1515 0.04944 66 57 8 1
5671 And this is only my third talent... 1.1515 0.04944 66 57 8 1
5672 How does it feel to not be vaccinated? 1.1515 0.04944 66 57 8 1
5673 Dr. Fauci said this would be safer than going out without a mask, so that's good enough for me. 1.1509 0.05648 53 46 6 1
5674 I can hardly wait for the next pandemic. 1.1509 0.04964 53 45 8 0
5675 If this doesn't get the waiter's attention we're out of here. 1.1509 0.05648 53 46 6 1
5676 Wow, doing this on white linen! I did not think it would matter much -- I was wrong! 1.1509 0.06258 53 47 4 2
5677 swipe left 1.1509 0.06258 53 47 4 2
5678 This is nothing 1.1509 0.04964 53 45 8 0
5679 Amazing! But can you do housework? 1.1509 0.06258 53 47 4 2
5680 So what do you do for relaxation? 1.1509 0.06258 53 47 4 2
5681 Maybe if you lead with the chainsaw it’d be more exciting? 1.1509 0.05648 53 46 6 1
5682 See, I can handle having a baby. 1.1509 0.04964 53 45 8 0
5683 What's the cut? Your chance is 1 out of 3. 1.1509 0.04964 53 45 8 0
5684 No, I didn't learn this during the pandemic. I teach English. 1.1509 0.05648 53 46 6 1
5685 Have you got an axe by any chance, Dave? 1.1509 0.04964 53 45 8 0
5686 And you can learn it all on YouTube without leaving your room 1.1509 0.05648 53 46 6 1
5687 I’m looking for someone more well balanced. 1.1509 0.04964 53 45 8 0
5688 Ok, so you want to go at it alone. 1.1509 0.04964 53 45 8 0
5689 I should warn you, I'm not looking to add anything serious like a relationship. 1.1509 0.05648 53 46 6 1
5690 Awkward juggling is better than awkward silences on a first date. 1.1509 0.05648 53 46 6 1
5691 ... and I'm home-schooling my five children. 1.1509 0.04964 53 45 8 0
5692 Toss me a framed OSHA certificate. 1.1509 0.06258 53 47 4 2
5693 Totally unnecessary, I was planning on tipping you already. 1.1509 0.06258 53 47 4 2
5694 Oh, not much. What did you do during the pandemic? 1.1509 0.05648 53 46 6 1
5695 How -- I totaled your Beemer -- was your day? 1.1509 0.04964 53 45 8 0
5696 yes, my bio is very literal. 1.1509 0.05648 53 46 6 1
5697 What did you think the tossed special was? 1.1509 0.05648 53 46 6 1
5698 Frankly, you don’t seem that interesting either. 1.1509 0.06258 53 47 4 2
5699 They laughed and joked about my sourdough, but look who's getting the last laugh now! 1.1509 0.05648 53 46 6 1
5700 Impressive, but let me tell you about when I went bowling with a chainsaw on fire. 1.1509 0.04964 53 45 8 0
5701 Welcome to Grindr 1.1509 0.04964 53 45 8 0
5702 The trick… is to order only from the prix fixe menu. 1.1509 0.04964 53 45 8 0
5703 Impressive, but I was hoping to see your cooking skills. 1.1509 0.04964 53 45 8 0
5704 Indoor dining was just not risky enough for me, I need more thrills in life 1.1509 0.06258 53 47 4 2
5705 Have I mentioned that I started doing cross-fit? 1.1509 0.06258 53 47 4 2
5706 I still make more than you 1.1509 0.05648 53 46 6 1
5707 Ok honey, I’ll stop texting at dinner. 1.1509 0.05648 53 46 6 1
5708 My last first date couldn’t even solve a Rubix Cube 1.1509 0.05648 53 46 6 1
5709 Is this what you meant by “not sure what I’m looking for” in your dating profile? 1.1509 0.04964 53 45 8 0
5710 My therapist said this might help distract me from folding my napkin into an airplane. 1.1509 0.05648 53 46 6 1
5711 I mean, it’s 2021. What else could possibly go wrong? 1.1509 0.06258 53 47 4 2
5712 I'm still not going to delete my Yelp review. 1.1509 0.05648 53 46 6 1
5713 Look, this time with no metaphors ! ss 1.1509 0.05648 53 46 6 1
5714 Eye contact is overrated, Leonard 1.1509 0.05648 53 46 6 1
5715 But I don’t have anything on my plate at the moment. 1.1509 0.04964 53 45 8 0
5716 My first boyfriend was a couch potato 1.1507 0.04645 73 63 9 1
5717 I just don’t think they leave enough room to elaborate on those profiles, you know? 1.1507 0.04645 73 63 9 1
5718 Would you like another drink? 1.1500 0.04649 60 51 9 0
5719 I kept dropping food trays, so the owner found a way to keep me on the payroll. 1.1500 0.04649 60 51 9 0
5720 Think of our love as being up in the air. 1.1500 0.05221 60 52 7 1
5721 „They were out of raw eggs and turtle doves.” 1.1500 0.04649 60 51 9 0
5722 So, this get me a Tuna Special? 1.1500 0.05221 60 52 7 1
5723 There is so much more to me than what you see on Tinder. 1.1500 0.05221 60 52 7 1
5724 I know it's just our first date. Do you think I'm trying too hard? 1.1500 0.05221 60 52 7 1
5725 You asked for bubbles, right? 1.1500 0.05221 60 52 7 1
5726 I'll do anything to get the waiter's attention! 1.1500 0.04649 60 51 9 0
5727 Thanks to this lousy virus, I can pretty much juggle anything now. 1.1500 0.04649 60 51 9 0
5728 You definitely won’t regret swiping right,Ted. 1.1500 0.04649 60 51 9 0
5729 I'm sorry. We don't serve dressing on the side. 1.1500 0.05221 60 52 7 1
5730 Of course, it's Metaphorical" 1.1500 0.04649 60 51 9 0
5731 You never got how talented I was. 1.1500 0.05737 60 53 5 2
5732 Pass me the salt. 1.1500 0.05221 60 52 7 1
5733 This is nothing compared to juggling my HSA accounts. 1.1500 0.05221 60 52 7 1
5734 Could you toss me the Fume Blanc 1.1500 0.04649 60 51 9 0
5735 It's not my first career choice. 1.1500 0.05221 60 52 7 1
5736 Please get that glass tumbler off the table. It's distracting me and I don't want it to fall. 1.1500 0.05737 60 53 5 2
5737 Hon , While you’re sitting there, please toss me the baby 1.1500 0.05737 60 53 5 2
5738 Hm, this is not what was written on her Tinder profile. 1.1500 0.05221 60 52 7 1
5739 I know I talked to you about monetizing my hobbies, but maybe we do dishes next time we forget to bring our wallets? 1.1500 0.05718 40 34 6 0
5740 When did it stop being about the food?" 1.1500 0.05221 60 52 7 1
5741 Your bio said that you liked to live dangerously. 1.1500 0.05221 60 52 7 1
5742 Yeah, I don’t know. Are you sure you’ll be able to juggle a career AND being a mom? 1.1500 0.05737 60 53 5 2
5743 I wouldn’t have gone with capris… 1.1493 0.04386 67 57 10 0
5744 I’m hoping to use a blindfold next time. 1.1493 0.04875 67 58 8 1
5745 Does this mean you won't be cooking dinner? 1.1493 0.05318 67 59 6 2
5746 A girls’ gotta eat…. 1.1493 0.04875 67 58 8 1
5747 Children? I'm ready! 1.1493 0.04386 67 57 10 0
5748 And I can multi-task. 1.1493 0.04386 67 57 10 0
5749 I put down on my dating profile that I like to entertain others... 1.1493 0.05318 67 59 6 2
5750 What do you mean you didn't practice pulling off the table cloth? 1.1493 0.04875 67 58 8 1
5751 I almost never do this on a first date. 1.1493 0.04875 67 58 8 1
5752 So this confirms my dating profile. Let’s see some brain surgery. 1.1493 0.04875 67 58 8 1
5753 Just wait till I add a pistol. 1.1493 0.04875 67 58 8 1
5754 I guess I have to entertain than communicate. 1.1493 0.04386 67 57 10 0
5755 I drink while she juggles; a keeper. 1.1493 0.05318 67 59 6 2
5756 Sorry darling, I will be done in a moment, I'm just juggling a few things 1.1493 0.04875 67 58 8 1
5757 How was my date last night? Well she sure brought a lot to the table… 1.1493 0.05318 67 59 6 2
5758 Brad was suddenly questioning the wisdom of the therapist's advice to communicate in concrete terms. 1.1493 0.04875 67 58 8 1
5759 And this was just in the first month of COVID. 1.1493 0.04875 67 58 8 1
5760 Can you pick up the kids from soccer practice too? 1.1493 0.04875 67 58 8 1
5761 Where's the waiter? 1.1489 0.06787 47 42 3 2
5762 Juggling while murderous 1.1489 0.05249 47 40 7 0
5763 I'm sorry Dan, I just can't stop bringing my work home 1.1489 0.06067 47 41 5 1
5764 I agree, quiet evenings are best. HERE, CATCH!!! 1.1489 0.06067 47 41 5 1
5765 Looks like you're going to pay for this meal! 1.1489 0.06067 47 41 5 1
5766 And you thought juggling your schedule was hard! 1.1489 0.05249 47 40 7 0
5767 My right to go out maskless implies the freedom to express my passion for clown work that I discovered during the pandemic. 1.1489 0.06067 47 41 5 1
5768 I just asked if you were vaccinated 1.1489 0.06067 47 41 5 1
5769 Uggh...I hate grown women with pony tails 1.1489 0.06787 47 42 3 2
5770 I know it’s only our second date but I had SO much free time at home the last year, I just had to show someone! 1.1489 0.06067 47 41 5 1
5771 This is what I have been doing for the past year. 1.1486 0.04587 74 64 9 1
5772 Now throw me your pants, and we can cut to the chase!" 1.1486 0.04164 74 63 11 0
5773 TA-DA!!!!....Proof isolation builds skills!" Heidi Roe, Myrtle Point, Oregon 1.1486 0.05333 74 66 5 3
5774 Up next, see how service workers are juggling life during the pandemic! 1.1481 0.05550 54 47 6 1
5775 As Herodotus said, "It is better by noble boldness to run the risk of being subject to half the evils we anticipate than to remain in cowardly listlessness for fear of what might happen." 1.1481 0.05550 54 47 6 1
5776 Simply my life as a single parent on a first date. 1.1481 0.04880 54 46 8 0
5777 To date a single mom with a full-time job, you need to be the bowling ball — low maintenance and fun on weekends. 1.1481 0.06691 54 49 2 3
5778 What do I neeed to do to get your attention? 1.1481 0.04880 54 46 8 0
5779 John, there’s no way I’m getting vaccinated. Its too dangerous 1.1481 0.04880 54 46 8 0
5780 So, dinner should be ready in about 5 minutes. Would you mind setting the table while I get it ready to serve? 1.1481 0.04880 54 46 8 0
5781 It is so hard to convey my many interests on the date sites. 1.1481 0.06147 54 48 4 2
5782 They said they were out of crayons. 1.1481 0.05550 54 47 6 1
5783 I said, "Go for the jugular." 1.1481 0.06147 54 48 4 2
5784 So,this is our act for America’s Got Talent. We bring in the table and chairs and glass. You sit there. I get up here and do this. OK? 1.1481 0.05550 54 47 6 1
5785 Are you nervous being in here without a mask? 1.1481 0.04880 54 46 8 0
5786 You didn’t mention this talent in your profile 1.1481 0.05550 54 47 6 1
5787 Bob awaits a refill. 1.1481 0.05550 54 47 6 1
5788 How about now? Is THIS deserving of a living wage? 1.1481 0.04880 54 46 8 0
5789 I hope this is not included in the gratuity. I dislike circus performers! 1.1481 0.05550 54 47 6 1
5790 This is what you meant when you said you were on a balanced diet? 1.1481 0.05550 54 47 6 1
5791 I'm not just beautiful and sexy, Bae... 1.1481 0.04880 54 46 8 0
5792 You might want to wear that cup. 1.1481 0.05550 54 47 6 1
5793 No, I'm not trying to make a point about work-life balance - when else would I get the time to practice? 1.1481 0.06147 54 48 4 2
5794 Ok, they're coming over now 1.1481 0.05550 54 47 6 1
5795 ..and my interview went something like this 1.1481 0.06147 54 48 4 2
5796 I thought taking my mask off was thrill enough 1.1481 0.05550 54 47 6 1
5797 That's great, but what's for dinner? 1.1481 0.06147 54 48 4 2
5798 Not quite what I meant when I asked if you were a multi-talker. 1.1481 0.05550 54 47 6 1
5799 When things get crazy at home I come here and do this to relax. 1.1481 0.05550 54 47 6 1
5800 The hard part is getting people to swipe right 1.1481 0.05550 54 47 6 1
5801 And for dessert, you get the hook. 1.1481 0.04880 54 46 8 0
5802 YES. And I promise you our marriage won't be dull. 1.1481 0.04880 54 46 8 0
5803 This represents what I have been doing this week. 1.1481 0.05550 54 47 6 1
5804 Une belle interprétation de mes clownes! 1.1481 0.04880 54 46 8 0
5805 I just stopped in for the Surf and Turf 1.1481 0.04880 54 46 8 0
5806 As you can see, everything on my dating profile is true. 1.1481 0.05550 54 47 6 1
5807 I cannot believe you are doing this again! You promised that you're going to therapy to deal with your crippling addiction to juggling a bowling ball, a chainsaw and a burning torch. 1.1481 0.05550 54 47 6 1
5808 You Try It 1.1481 0.05550 54 47 6 1
5809 Babe, could you put your phone away? We’re at dinner. 1.1481 0.06147 54 48 4 2
5810 That's real talent! Now let's see if you can catch and juggle this glass of water before it hits you in the head and spills all over you 1.1481 0.06147 54 48 4 2
5811 Is this what you mean what you say “she’s just juggling a lot”? 1.1481 0.04880 54 46 8 0
5812 So which one do you prefer to be thrown at your face... the cannonball, the fire, the chainsaw or the mono-cycle? ".. 1.1481 0.04880 54 46 8 0
5813 Let's see what kills you on our first date well except me 1.1481 0.05550 54 47 6 1
5814 I thought you were exaggerating on your Tinder profile. 1.1481 0.06147 54 48 4 2
5815 We serve everything Family Style 1.1481 0.04880 54 46 8 0
5816 Finish your drink and then toss the glass towards my right hand, when I say “Now!” 1.1475 0.05141 61 53 7 1
5817 It must be tough juggling your career. 1.1475 0.05141 61 53 7 1
5818 Wait till school starts! 1.1475 0.04578 61 52 9 0
5819 See, I can do new tricks 1.1475 0.05647 61 54 5 2
5820 Yes,we can also do delivery. 1.1475 0.04578 61 52 9 0
5821 OK, I admit it. I'm trying top impress you. 1.1475 0.04578 61 52 9 0
5822 I wouldn't say I do this for a living. 1.1475 0.05141 61 53 7 1
5823 Honey, its easy! You just have to want to do it, then you can do it too! 1.1475 0.05141 61 53 7 1
5824 Maybe online dating isn't the way to go. 1.1475 0.05141 61 53 7 1
5825 I use to have a poodle 1.1475 0.05141 61 53 7 1
5826 Trouble brewing.. 1.1475 0.04578 61 52 9 0
5827 What, like it’s hard? 1.1475 0.05141 61 53 7 1
5828 I’m also a full time kindergarten teacher! 1.1475 0.05647 61 54 5 2
5829 Might be another minute before we can order, there’s a sword swallower at the next table. 1.1475 0.05141 61 53 7 1
5830 So i learned how to do this during shelter in place 1.1475 0.05647 61 54 5 2
5831 Mick, is that your phone you have under the table?! 1.1475 0.05141 61 53 7 1
5832 So, will you commit now? 1.1475 0.04578 61 52 9 0
5833 It’s 2021, babeeeee! 1.1475 0.05141 61 53 7 1
5834 A millennial CV in action. Is there anything else you need? 1.1475 0.05647 61 54 5 2
5835 Yes, I'm sure I want a baby. 1.1471 0.04327 68 58 10 0
5836 But you can't multi-task empty and load the dishwasher. 1.1471 0.05244 68 60 6 2
5837 Imagine what you’ll learn if we need to socially distance again. 1.1471 0.05244 68 60 6 2
5838 Can I interest you in the desert menu??” From Dennis Byer Loveland , C 1.1471 0.05244 68 60 6 2
5839 I think you’re too overqualified for the position 1.1471 0.04807 68 59 8 1
5840 Her bio did say she was quirky. 1.1471 0.04807 68 59 8 1
5841 Well I caught a fish once. 1.1471 0.05244 68 60 6 2
5842 What do you mean ‘is my shrink on holiday’ ? 1.1463 0.06590 41 36 4 1
5843 But this is my day job. (emphasis "is") 1.1463 0.06590 41 36 4 1
5844 I would have brought my tank of piranhas, but I didn’t want to scare you. 1.1463 0.05589 41 35 6 0
5845 You are not the clown. You are the entire circus. 1.1458 0.05947 48 42 5 1
5846 Hi, my name is Sylvia, I’ll be your circus performer today. 1.1458 0.05947 48 42 5 1
5847 Really Jack, it’s me not you. 1.1458 0.05947 48 42 5 1
5848 I'm telling you, I just don't tip more than 20% on principle. 1.1458 0.05148 48 41 7 0
5849 Just the usual. So how was your day? 1.1458 0.05148 48 41 7 0
5850 Sorry, I’m just very used to dating clowns. 1.1458 0.05148 48 41 7 0
5851 Lyin’ and triggers and beer, oh my! 1.1458 0.06651 48 43 3 2
5852 Can you refill my drink please 1.1458 0.05148 48 41 7 0
5853 I used to work for Fox News and learned to be agile at catching anything they threw at me. 1.1458 0.05947 48 42 5 1
5854 Too subtle for nagging? 1.1458 0.05148 48 41 7 0
5855 It beats just waiting around for the bread. 1.1458 0.05148 48 41 7 0
5856 I can also do boyfriends. 1.1458 0.05148 48 41 7 0
5857 Waddaya mean I'm embarassing YOU? 1.1458 0.05148 48 41 7 0
5858 Winner of Tinder’s “Best in Show” 1.1458 0.06651 48 43 3 2
5859 I'll make a great wife, I multi-task very well! 1.1458 0.05148 48 41 7 0
5860 I don't get it. Your profile did say you like cycling, cooking, bowling and sculpting, too. 1.1458 0.05148 48 41 7 0
5861 You never get a second chance to juggle around a first impression. 1.1458 0.05947 48 42 5 1
5862 Ya, I know I invited you over for dinner, but, fact is, I don't cook. 1.1458 0.05148 48 41 7 0
5863 Wo-man’s circus 1.1458 0.05148 48 41 7 0
5864 For my biglier finale, I jugular two smaller balls, on fire. 1.1455 0.06040 55 49 4 2
5865 I was really hoping for a ventriloquist. 1.1455 0.05455 55 48 6 1
5866 I know I'm a one-trick pony but impressive huh! 1.1455 0.04798 55 47 8 0
5867 I was a nurse, but got fired for being unvaccinated. 1.1455 0.05455 55 48 6 1
5868 e 1.1455 0.05455 55 48 6 1
5869 I'm a woman....it's what we do. 1.1455 0.04798 55 47 8 0
5870 Trouble deciding what you want for dinner? Ok, try deciding what i’m going to add next. 1.1455 0.06040 55 49 4 2
5871 And you? What are your hobbies? 1.1455 0.04798 55 47 8 0
5872 Top this and I buy lunch! 1.1455 0.04798 55 47 8 0
5873 Okay, so it’s a Chardonnay type. That was easy. 1.1455 0.05455 55 48 6 1
5874 Now do you see how hard it is to juggle housework and a career? 1.1455 0.05455 55 48 6 1
5875 Maybe it's time you stop whining that I can't balance a checkbook? 1.1455 0.05455 55 48 6 1
5876 I didn’t get the Covid vaccine either. 1.1455 0.06040 55 49 4 2
5877 I've never done this on a first date before, I swear - I'm not that kinda girl. 1.1455 0.05455 55 48 6 1
5878 What’s your pick if I drop one? 1.1455 0.05455 55 48 6 1
5879 This is my domestic side. 1.1455 0.05455 55 48 6 1
5880 AND you want me to have kids? 1.1455 0.04798 55 47 8 0
5881 I know we're both vaccinated,but for now it's still best that we keep six feet apart. 1.1455 0.05455 55 48 6 1
5882 Indoor dining still feels a little risky. 1.1455 0.04798 55 47 8 0
5883 On a first date I like to discover shared interests and differences. 1.1455 0.05455 55 48 6 1
5884 Great Effort! Can you add the kitchen sink? 1.1455 0.06040 55 49 4 2
5885 I am sorry, I thought that the dating app was called Circus ironically! 1.1455 0.05455 55 48 6 1
5886 Your Hinge profile said you could juggle four things…. 1.1455 0.06040 55 49 4 2
5887 Your dinner will come down eventually. 1.1455 0.05455 55 48 6 1
5888 Make dangerous juggles, to get your attention 1.1455 0.04798 55 47 8 0
5889 I was referring to the bedroom when I asked if you had any tricks up your sleeve… 1.1455 0.06040 55 49 4 2
5890 Spotted: Man does the bare minimum 1.1455 0.04798 55 47 8 0
5891 I mean, f*ck it... 1.1455 0.04798 55 47 8 0
5892 I usually wait ‘till the third date to do this, but these are COVID times - so, to hell with it! 1.1455 0.04798 55 47 8 0
5893 I was expecting out first date to be boring so I could complain to my friends later 1.1455 0.06040 55 49 4 2
5894 I knew that gap year would come in handy. 1.1455 0.06040 55 49 4 2
5895 Modern day motherhood 1.1455 0.05455 55 48 6 1
5896 it's easier than juggling my family's Zoom schedules 1.1455 0.06574 55 50 2 3
5897 I'm looking for someone that feels the way i do. 1.1455 0.05455 55 48 6 1
5898 So that Tinder bio was actually true. 1.1455 0.06040 55 49 4 2
5899 But can you cook? 1.1452 0.05063 62 54 7 1
5900 I embrace unrealistic expectations *and* I lean in. 1.1452 0.05063 62 54 7 1
5901 I am saving the Biden ""ECONOMY" . Want a refill ? 1.1452 0.05560 62 55 5 2
5902 Oh yeah? Can your other Tinder dates do this?? 1.1452 0.04510 62 53 9 0
5903 Well,with the pandemic,I had to diversify myself. 1.1452 0.05063 62 54 7 1
5904 I learned this while isolated by Covid 1.1452 0.04510 62 53 9 0
5905 Just keep watching my juggling..pay no attention to the rise in gas prices... 1.1452 0.05063 62 54 7 1
5906 When your food comes, just ignore me and enjoy. 1.1452 0.04510 62 53 9 0
5907 Decided to learn something new during the Quarantine so here's a preview of my new juggling skills while riding my Unicycle on the dinner table. 1.1452 0.05560 62 55 5 2
5908 You must be a soccer mom, right? 1.1452 0.05063 62 54 7 1
5909 What's your opinion about children in a two-career marriage? 1.1452 0.04510 62 53 9 0
5910 I think these will really make my Skills section pop 1.1452 0.04510 62 53 9 0
5911 Hazardous Options 1.1452 0.04510 62 53 9 0
5912 Now if this doesn’t get the waiter’s attention, we leave. 1.1452 0.04510 62 53 9 0
5913 I have found that on a first date it's best to be completely honest about your interests. 1.1452 0.04510 62 53 9 0
5914 What do mean multitasking is bunk?!? 1.1452 0.05560 62 55 5 2
5915 eHarmony says that one should only reveal a few skills on a first date. What skills do you have? 1.1452 0.05560 62 55 5 2
5916 All I said was I like kids. 1.1452 0.04510 62 53 9 0
5917 What did you do during the lockdown? 1.1452 0.04510 62 53 9 0
5918 You asked how was my quarantine?! 1.1452 0.05063 62 54 7 1
5919 So…What’s for dinner? 1.1452 0.05063 62 54 7 1
5920 It’s been a slow day. 1.1452 0.04510 62 53 9 0
5921 The most important part of this skill is not knocking over your glass of grape juice. 1.1452 0.04510 62 53 9 0
5922 The chainsaw was Wave 3. For Wave 4 I'm thinking of adding a machete. 1.1452 0.05560 62 55 5 2
5923 Cool. What filter are you using?” 1.1452 0.05063 62 54 7 1
5924 That’s why I don’t like sativas before dinner, darling. 1.1452 0.04510 62 53 9 0
5925 Why can't they just have something normal like 'daddy issues'. 1.1452 0.05560 62 55 5 2
5926 'I have forgotten what I should do at a date after the lockdown!' 1.1452 0.05560 62 55 5 2
5927 I kept waiting for the hammer to drop and realized I could take things into my own hands! 1.1452 0.05560 62 55 5 2
5928 Yeah, but can you parallel park when someone else is watching you? 1.1452 0.05063 62 54 7 1
5929 No caption necessary 1.1452 0.05560 62 55 5 2
5930 Our specials include a circus themed soufflé with popcorn and clown’s tears. 1.1449 0.04742 69 60 8 1
5931 Nothing to this. Wait for my encore. 1.1449 0.04269 69 59 10 0
5932 It’s amazing the lengths they will go to make up for the lack of waitstaff. 1.1449 0.04742 69 60 8 1
5933 I still think we should break up 1.1449 0.05172 69 61 6 2
5934 Before we get engaged I think you need to understand what it's like to have kids. 1.1447 0.04474 76 66 9 1
5935 Is that old b*@#$ watching who always says 'I'll have what she's having"?' 1.1447 0.04063 76 65 11 0
5936 If I accidentally conk you with something,your dinner is free. 1.1429 0.06521 49 44 3 2
5937 I see you made good use of your time in quarantine. 1.1429 0.05363 56 49 6 1
5938 The dinner is on the house if you can do this. 1.1429 0.05102 70 62 6 2
5939 I suppose I did leave out some information about myself. 1.1429 0.05363 56 49 6 1
5940 I’m concerned you’re not here for the right reasons. 1.1429 0.05363 56 49 6 1
5941 Perhaps we can pay for dinner that way. 1.1429 0.05051 49 42 7 0
5942 I didn't find the yoga class challenging enough. 1.1429 0.05363 56 49 6 1
5943 What do you have to do to get bread here? 1.1429 0.05363 56 49 6 1
5944 And you can't live up to my expectations? 1.1429 0.05465 42 36 6 0
5945 Mary, that’s not a bad first date impression, but if you want a second date with me, I will need to see your investment portfolio… 1.1429 0.05476 63 56 5 2
5946 I miss the simpler days of "Rock-Paper-Scissors." 1.1429 0.05937 56 50 4 2
5947 Not the dinner date I was expecting. 1.1429 0.04444 63 54 9 0
5948 is this multi-tasking exercise part of the normal interview 1.1429 0.04718 56 48 8 0
5949 If this doesn't convince you I'm hot, I'll bowl you over, and I'm a cut above the others, nothing will!! 1.1429 0.05363 56 49 6 1
5950 I think I forgot to mention on Bumble that I usually just need to juggle a few things before dating someone. 1.1429 0.04718 56 48 8 0
5951 What was your pandemic hobby? 1.1429 0.04444 63 54 9 0
5952 I still need to work on my spelling. 1.1429 0.05051 49 42 7 0
5953 No worries. It's only Newtonian physics -- zero Heisenberg uncertainties. 1.1429 0.05937 56 50 4 2
5954 I was wondering where the saw was 1.1429 0.05476 63 56 5 2
5955 No need to worry, I have been practicing this all day. 1.1429 0.05832 49 43 5 1
5956 I'm not sure what else we can do to get the waiter's attention. 1.1429 0.05051 49 42 7 0
5957 Relationships have always been a balancing act. Sometimes they require a little juggling. 1.1429 0.04987 63 55 7 1
5958 You had to see it coming. 1.1429 0.04718 56 48 8 0
5959 I tried to add it, but I couldn’t balance my checkbook! 1.1429 0.06440 42 37 4 1
5960 Your wife said she has no appetite til the honey-do list is done. 1.1429 0.05832 49 43 5 1
5961 I guess you're right -- I did have too much spare time during the pandemic. 1.1429 0.04718 56 48 8 0
5962 Why didn't you mention this in your dating profile? 1.1429 0.04987 63 55 7 1
5963 Tell me more about your Excel presentation. 1.1429 0.05832 49 43 5 1
5964 Hey, watch this”, she said regretfully. 1.1429 0.05363 56 49 6 1
5965 But I don't put out until the second date. 1.1429 0.05051 49 42 7 0
5966 Can l begin with an appetizer? 1.1429 0.06521 49 44 3 2
5967 It's almost time for the kids' school to start, toss me that Zoom screen! 1.1429 0.05937 56 50 4 2
5968 Honestly,the most dangerous thing about this stunt is the lack of social distancing. 1.1429 0.05832 49 43 5 1
5969 Hmm. Ceviche? I'm not that adventurous. 1.1429 0.04718 56 48 8 0
5970 Dangerous liaison 1.1429 0.06521 49 44 3 2
5971 I find this method is much more effective than red flags 1.1429 0.04678 70 61 8 1
5972 They say this stimulates the appetite. 1.1429 0.05363 56 49 6 1
5973 Between work, school, and my kids, I really needed a hobby to take my mind off of all the stress. 1.1429 0.05832 49 43 5 1
5974 My very first date. 1.1429 0.05051 49 42 7 0
5975 I know it may be pushing the risk too far, but not wearing a mask is such a rush! 1.1429 0.05051 49 42 7 0
5976 Now that the kids are going back to school, I see that we've returned to our usual routines. 1.1429 0.05051 49 42 7 0
5977 I've tried this with bean bags, but I just couldn't get the hang of it! 1.1429 0.04718 56 48 8 0
5978 Snapping your fingers for attention is rude. I can manage this a while longer. 1.1429 0.05476 63 56 5 2
5979 You could have ordered me a drink. 1.1429 0.05937 56 50 4 2
5980 There's no dinner, but I'm the show. 1.1429 0.04678 70 61 8 1
5981 Ok! Ok! So you know how to multitask. So where’s my dinner? 1.1429 0.04444 63 54 9 0
5982 I’ve been too I try too hard on the first date… 1.1429 0.05476 63 56 5 2
5983 ON THE COUNT OF THREE, I WANT YOU TO THROW ME THAT WATER GLASS. AND REMEMBER, IF SOMETHING BAD HAPPENS WHEN YOU DO, IT IS YOUR FAULT 1.1429 0.05051 49 42 7 0
5984 Maggie was determined to impress the man of her dreams. 1.1429 0.04987 63 55 7 1
5985 As first dates go, Horace thought she was a little over enthusiastic. 1.1429 0.05465 42 36 6 0
5986 It's called "on-table entertainment." 1.1429 0.05832 49 43 5 1
5987 Any regrets yet about your laughter at my stipulation of only SAFE sex? 1.1429 0.05476 63 56 5 2
5988 What do you mean, ‘Where’s the carving knife?!’ 1.1429 0.06521 49 44 3 2
5989 This is easier than juggling all the tasks that I do every day. 1.1429 0.05832 49 43 5 1
5990 After juggling 3 kids, a job, and a loser ex-husband, I wanted to try something easier. 1.1429 0.05937 56 50 4 2
5991 It just seems a bit risky to move in together so soon. 1.1429 0.05363 56 49 6 1
5992 Courtship. circa 2021ce 1.1429 0.04987 63 55 7 1
5993 Look, Hal! I’m growing new neurons. 1.1429 0.05925 63 57 3 3
5994 My superpower is juggling multiple projects WHILE unicycling! What’s yours? 1.1429 0.04987 63 55 7 1
5995 Joe had an impressive first date. 1.1429 0.06521 49 44 3 2
5996 What do you mean ‘catfish’? 1.1429 0.05363 56 49 6 1
5997 I take my hobbies very seriously 1.1429 0.06521 49 44 3 2
5998 It's not as hard as it looks. 1.1429 0.04987 63 55 7 1
5999 Just your average working mother perfecting her work life balance. 1.1429 0.04987 63 55 7 1
6000 Working from home really has improved your skill set, is this on your CV? 1.1429 0.05363 56 49 6 1
6001 This is my first time speed dating. 1.1429 0.05937 56 50 4 2
6002 Well, it is nice that you got your own drink… 1.1429 0.05937 56 50 4 2
6003 Jack of all trades, master of none, but oftentimes better than a master of one. So what’s on your profile? 1.1429 0.05363 56 49 6 1
6004 Don't worry I will pick up your dry cleaning today 1.1429 0.04419 77 67 9 1
6005 What did I drink? 1.1429 0.06440 42 37 4 1
6006 Right, but my question was “how is yours relationship with your mother?” 1.1429 0.06440 42 37 4 1
6007 Where's my sandwich?” - H.A. Blyss 2021 #GoBackToTheKitchenWhereYouBelongWoma 1.1429 0.05363 56 49 6 1
6008 It just slipped out of my hands 1.1429 0.05363 56 49 6 1
6009 Wow, your Bumble profile captured you perfectly. 1.1429 0.06440 42 37 4 1
6010 Is this included in the prix fixe menu? 1.1429 0.04718 56 48 8 0
6011 Back to School, 2021-2022 1.1429 0.04987 63 55 7 1
6012 Ah, don't worry Harry, I am myself also not very interesting. 1.1410 0.03966 78 67 11 0
6013 How do you like me so far? 1.1408 0.04616 71 62 8 1
6014 Sit the Fcku Down You Stupid Woman" 1.1408 0.04616 71 62 8 1
6015 What is 2021? 1.1408 0.04158 71 61 10 0
6016 Honey, what do you carry inside that purse? 1.1408 0.04616 71 62 8 1
6017 I cannot hold on anymore. Tips? 1.1406 0.04380 64 55 9 0
6018 I may be running out of stuff to do before our dinners arrive. 1.1406 0.04380 64 55 9 0
6019 Some people will do anything for a free dinner. 1.1406 0.05836 64 58 3 3
6020 Everything in my profile is true. 1.1406 0.04914 64 56 7 1
6021 I've been juggling my life, you?" 1.1406 0.05395 64 57 5 2
6022 That's it. Do I qualify for a table inside? 1.1406 0.05395 64 57 5 2
6023 And you thought I couldn’t balance work and home? 1.1406 0.04914 64 56 7 1
6024 Can you do this? 1.1406 0.04914 64 56 7 1
6025 Of the top ten skills I learned in quarantine, this is my 7th most popular on social. How serious was your quarantine? 1.1406 0.04914 64 56 7 1
6026 oh i got everything under control… why do you ask? 1.1406 0.04914 64 56 7 1
6027 Our first Tinder date. I bring a goldfish in a glass and you do this! Are you an over achiever? 1.1406 0.04914 64 56 7 1
6028 What? It’s safer than going to crowded indoor spaces. 1.1406 0.04914 64 56 7 1
6029 One bowling ball medium rare and thinly sliced coming right up. 1.1404 0.04642 57 49 8 0
6030 it's hard to fit this on my profile pic.... 1.1404 0.05838 57 51 4 2
6031 Trying to remember which site I met her on...Tinder? Match.com? Plenty of Fish? 1.1404 0.04642 57 49 8 0
6032 Since service is slow, here's a free show. 1.1404 0.05274 57 50 6 1
6033 I'm not sure why you're surprised... my Tinder profile says I'm great at multitasking. 1.1404 0.05274 57 50 6 1
6034 Makes me feel like we're eating at home. 1.1404 0.05274 57 50 6 1
6035 Am I interesting enough for a 2nd date now Joe? 1.1404 0.05274 57 50 6 1
6036 I do tricks. 1.1404 0.04642 57 49 8 0
6037 The daily juggle. 1.1404 0.04642 57 49 8 0
6038 ok, maybe on AGT 1.1404 0.05274 57 50 6 1
6039 Now do you get the dangers if climate change? 1.1404 0.04642 57 49 8 0
6040 ‘I saw fire ball on the menu. I didn’t realize it was a trick to get me in here though’. 1.1404 0.04642 57 49 8 0
6041 I can stay balanced even while juggling a bunch of things. 1.1404 0.05274 57 50 6 1
6042 This was Lamaze class today 1.1404 0.05838 57 51 4 2
6043 This isn’t what I expected when I googled Teppanyaki 1.1404 0.05274 57 50 6 1
6044 I like to keep it casual. 1.1404 0.05274 57 50 6 1
6045 Now that she started dating in person,she realized her quarantine hobbies may best be utilized trying out for the circus. 1.1404 0.04642 57 49 8 0
6046 To be fair, she did say “spontaneous adventurer” in her tinder bio 1.1404 0.04642 57 49 8 0
6047 Please leave your tip in the glass 1.1404 0.05838 57 51 4 2
6048 What my day was like juggling kids, pets, and work from home. How was your day honey? 1.1404 0.05274 57 50 6 1
6049 Welcome to The Match Bowl Chain. Would you like to try our sliders? 1.1404 0.05274 57 50 6 1
6050 And all I wanted was a soup. 1.1404 0.04642 57 49 8 0
6051 A second date? I'm not sure it's all up in the air. 1.1404 0.04642 57 49 8 0
6052 Well actually, I have seen stranger fetishes. 1.1404 0.05274 57 50 6 1
6053 No, I don't do birdcalls. 1.1404 0.04642 57 49 8 0
6054 Sorry, our belly dancer called out sick. 1.1404 0.05274 57 50 6 1
6055 I believe in female empowerment. 1.1404 0.04642 57 49 8 0
6056 Can't wait to see what you do on our second date. 1.1404 0.05838 57 51 4 2
6057 Oh no, having to sing at the same time is the hard part. 1.1404 0.05274 57 50 6 1
6058 My Grandma taught me this, just before she broke her hip 1.1404 0.05838 57 51 4 2
6059 I can't believe you feel I always have to be the center of attention. 1.1404 0.05838 57 51 4 2
6060 I’ve dated a lot of clowns before but this getting ridiculous! 1.1404 0.05274 57 50 6 1
6061 As I mentioned in my Tinder bio” 1.1404 0.05274 57 50 6 1
6062 So, yeah. After my year of self discovery, all I need now- is a... relationship 1.1404 0.05274 57 50 6 1
6063 I’m finding my work-life balance. 1.1404 0.04642 57 49 8 0
6064 No, just water is fine. 1.1400 0.04957 50 43 7 0
6065 I can also bring home the bacon...and fry it up in the pan... 1.1400 0.06395 50 45 3 2
6066 Working Mothers Are the best jugglers. 1.1400 0.04957 50 43 7 0
6067 It's still safer than being unvaccinated. 1.1400 0.05721 50 44 5 1
6068 It's the only thing that rivals looking at my phone. 1.1400 0.05721 50 44 5 1
6069 Is that all you've got to say? 1.1400 0.04957 50 43 7 0
6070 Are you impressed? Congress can't touch this. 1.1400 0.05721 50 44 5 1
6071 And would you like a lemon twist 1.1400 0.05721 50 44 5 1
6072 Honey, I''m sure they have their own entertainment here. 1.1400 0.04957 50 43 7 0
6073 Standing in a hammock? Sure. 1.1400 0.05721 50 44 5 1
6074 And that was just the walk here. 1.1400 0.05721 50 44 5 1
6075 My Tinder profile was not that good, so… 1.1400 0.04957 50 43 7 0
6076 So ... you leaving a tip? 1.1400 0.04957 50 43 7 0
6077 I wonder where the waiter is with my knife? 1.1400 0.04957 50 43 7 0
6078 I like to busk on first dates. First impressions,right? 1.1400 0.05721 50 44 5 1
6079 Me? Oh, I like to keep busy. 1.1400 0.04957 50 43 7 0
6080 This my last act. Hope you are enjoying it. Tomorrow I'm filing for divorce 1.1400 0.05721 50 44 5 1
6081 Ha! Wait until I throw my kids and career in! 1.1400 0.05721 50 44 5 1
6082 I've had plenty of time during the pandemic to hone my skills—did I mention that on my profile? 1.1400 0.04957 50 43 7 0
6083 How's this concept: Pop-Ups Got Talent! 1.1400 0.04957 50 43 7 0
6084 You don’t look at all like your picture 1.1400 0.04957 50 43 7 0
6085 I believe you, you’re a good mom. Now let’s enjoy our dinner 1.1400 0.04957 50 43 7 0
6086 I’m only now questioning if my pandemic hobby is worth it. 1.1400 0.04957 50 43 7 0
6087 Honey, I don’t think that’s what they meant by work life balance. 1.1400 0.04957 50 43 7 0
6088 I don't get people who say they're afraid of first dates. 1.1395 0.05347 43 37 6 0
6089 Is this a bad time to tell you that my life insurance expired last week? 1.1395 0.05347 43 37 6 0
6090 Call the new Governor. She's going to need your skill set. 1.1395 0.05347 43 37 6 0
6091 This was my last effort to turn my failed pandemic projects into something productive. 1.1395 0.05347 43 37 6 0
6092 I guess you were busy during lockdown. 1.1392 0.03920 79 68 11 0
6093 Yes, you actually said, "Keep it up." 1.1389 0.04556 72 63 8 1
6094 Hey! It's entertainment during a pandemic staycation. I'm trying, ok? 1.1389 0.04104 72 62 10 0
6095 Don't worry about the tablecloth! 1.1389 0.04104 72 62 10 0
6096 That’s lovely Joanne, but do do you have any soup? 1.1389 0.04556 72 63 8 1
6097 but didn't mention busking as her hobby in her dating profile 1.1385 0.04317 65 56 9 0
6098 The restaurants are getting busy again. I thought this would get us faster service. 1.1385 0.04842 65 57 7 1
6099 Kids? career? No problem! 1.1385 0.05315 65 58 5 2
6100 So pick your poison already. 1.1385 0.04317 65 56 9 0
6101 What? Can't you see I'm thriving? 1.1385 0.05315 65 58 5 2
6102 And until this pays off, I expect my monthly support checks on time! 1.1385 0.05315 65 58 5 2
6103 Gallop apace, you fiery-footed steeds towards Phoebus’ lodging.... 1.1385 0.04317 65 56 9 0
6104 Sorry.The stage is closed for repairs. 1.1385 0.04842 65 57 7 1
6105 I will be the show tonight; let's stay at home! 1.1385 0.04317 65 56 9 0
6106 I usually don’t mention it on first dates but I used to be a clown 1.1385 0.04842 65 57 7 1
6107 “And you don’t think you can juggle a baby, what, with your job and our house payments? Well, have another think, buster.” 1.1385 0.05315 65 58 5 2
6108 I’ll see if I can fit you in next week. 1.1385 0.04842 65 57 7 1
6109 This is modern feminism, right? 1.1385 0.04842 65 57 7 1
6110 So between waiting tables, dog walking, and my performance collective I find I’m able to keep a decent work-life balance. You said you’re a lawyer? 1.1385 0.04317 65 56 9 0
6111 If dating apps came to life 1.1385 0.04317 65 56 9 0
6112 Very impressive, but my caption was selected to be in the New Yorker 1.1385 0.04842 65 57 7 1
6113 Well it beats sharing Facebook posts. 1.1379 0.05741 58 52 4 2
6114 All I wanted was a balanced meal ! 1.1379 0.04567 58 50 8 0
6115 I ain't no three trick pony. 1.1379 0.05188 58 51 6 1
6116 You want to see what I do on a blind date? 1.1379 0.04567 58 50 8 0
6117 Very impressive. Now where's my dinner? 1.1379 0.05188 58 51 6 1
6118 Hon,see what I learned today after watching 10 min tutorial on youtube. 1.1379 0.04567 58 50 8 0
6119 I already proposed. You're just overselling it now. 1.1379 0.05188 58 51 6 1
6120 I told you that vaccine had some weird side effects, so here we are. 1.1379 0.05188 58 51 6 1
6121 You know The Ed Sullivan Sullivan Show went off in the 1970's, don't you? 1.1379 0.05741 58 52 4 2
6122 I needed to pick up a new hobby while staying safe from Covid... 1.1379 0.05188 58 51 6 1
6123 So what do you think of Obamacare? 1.1379 0.05188 58 51 6 1
6124 Just what are you hinting at? 1.1379 0.05188 58 51 6 1
6125 My mom thought you might be impressed with my potential parenting skills. 1.1379 0.04567 58 50 8 0
6126 I think I love you anyway! 1.1379 0.05188 58 51 6 1
6127 It's amazing what you can learn by just watching YouTube. 1.1379 0.05188 58 51 6 1
6128 Thank you, but I'll just stay with today's special instead. 1.1379 0.05188 58 51 6 1
6129 Don’t worry! I got really good at this in my kitchen during the pandemic. 1.1379 0.05188 58 51 6 1
6130 This is easy, compared to catching a case of covid. 1.1379 0.05741 58 52 4 2
6131 Me on my first date after the pandemic when they ask my hobbies. 1.1379 0.05188 58 51 6 1
6132 And also let me cook for you, too. 1.1379 0.05188 58 51 6 1
6133 Now do you trust my immune system? 1.1379 0.04567 58 50 8 0
6134 I specialize in gender reveal parties. 1.1379 0.05188 58 51 6 1
6135 Look what You Tube taught me during quarantine. 1.1379 0.04567 58 50 8 0
6136 Welcome to Staten Island! 1.1379 0.05188 58 51 6 1
6137 Wait until you see me in bed 1.1379 0.05741 58 52 4 2
6138 ‘Fun fact : I’m wanted for murder .’ 1.1379 0.05188 58 51 6 1
6139 And you thought only men were capable of mega-tasking! 1.1379 0.04567 58 50 8 0
6140 Throw me your steak knife, I'm that good. 1.1379 0.04567 58 50 8 0
6141 Are you impressed yet?! 1.1379 0.05188 58 51 6 1
6142 You don't need to compete with me at restaurants and I won't compete with you in the kitchen at home 1.1379 0.05741 58 52 4 2
6143 Something wrong with your tea? 1.1379 0.05188 58 51 6 1
6144 It’s an audience participation performance 1.1379 0.04567 58 50 8 0
6145 You did not waste the pandemic! 1.1379 0.05188 58 51 6 1
6146 This is impressive, but you still looked better in your profile picture. 1.1379 0.04567 58 50 8 0
6147 I know you're multitasking, I just feel like you're not really paying attention 1.1379 0.04567 58 50 8 0
6148 You look thirsty, Sharon. Let’s get you a drink. 1.1379 0.04567 58 50 8 0
6149 You think women are struggling juggling, bring it on as we love the challenges 1.1379 0.04567 58 50 8 0
6150 There's enough in my plate already, What would you like to order though? #letsgettheballrolling 1.1379 0.05188 58 51 6 1
6151 I can’t believe she dropped the ball… 1.1379 0.05188 58 51 6 1
6152 Work and life balance, eh? 1.1379 0.05188 58 51 6 1
6153 At last, the woman of my dreams: A social media influencer who's gonna ruin my life. I can't look away. 1.1379 0.05188 58 51 6 1
6154 The Robinsons did say this place was dangerously entertaining 1.1379 0.04567 58 50 8 0
6155 I knew it wasn’t going to work out when I remembered my pet peeve of “no elbows on the table”. 1.1373 0.05615 51 45 5 1
6156 Say what you will, but it's the only sure-fire way to get the waiter's attention." 1.1373 0.05615 51 45 5 1
6157 Wow! & I thought juggling was a lost art 1.1373 0.04867 51 44 7 0
6158 As she yammered on and on about living life on the edge, Ted regretted swiping right yet again. 1.1373 0.04867 51 44 7 0
6159 Dinner is late, so... 1.1373 0.05615 51 45 5 1
6160 Are you one of those "Turn on the chainsw!" types 1.1373 0.04867 51 44 7 0
6161 I used to juggle balls in the circus, but I kept dropping them. 1.1373 0.05615 51 45 5 1
6162 Plus, I'm closeness needy, too. 1.1373 0.06275 51 46 3 2
6163 I usually don't put out on the first date. 1.1373 0.04867 51 44 7 0
6164 But what’s really difficult is juggling my calendar to fit you in. 1.1373 0.05615 51 45 5 1
6165 Goodness, this is nothing as compared to online dating! 1.1373 0.04867 51 44 7 0
6166 Can you hear ticking? 1.1373 0.04867 51 44 7 0
6167 What do you think? Can I win the primary if I can make the speech work with this routine? 1.1373 0.05615 51 45 5 1
6168 I'm filling in for our Japanese knife chef this week. 1.1373 0.06275 51 46 3 2
6169 Frankly,it is not as hard as it looks - and lastly,for dessert we have a lovely locally sourced heirloom rhubarb pie with a delightful gluten free lattice crust and artisanal organic vegan,lactose free vanilla ice cream. 1.1373 0.04867 51 44 7 0
6170 My other hobby is documenting poor excuses for no second date. Unicycle allergy and chainsaw phobia lead a long list. 1.1373 0.05615 51 45 5 1
6171 They don't want you in the family. 1.1373 0.05615 51 45 5 1
6172 Actually, this is an unpaid internship 1.1373 0.04867 51 44 7 0
6173 I wanted to make a good impression on our first date. 1.1373 0.04867 51 44 7 0
6174 The real challenge is drinking your water at the same time. 1.1373 0.05615 51 45 5 1
6175 See John, I'm more than just a pretty face. 1.1373 0.05615 51 45 5 1
6176 After a year of juggling at-home learning and a full-time job, it just came naturally! 1.1373 0.04867 51 44 7 0
6177 These are my three options for a second date. 1.1373 0.04867 51 44 7 0
6178 So I take it you’re a teacher. 1.1373 0.04867 51 44 7 0
6179 I juggle pandemic anxiety, working from home with the kids and zoom gender reveals… I’m not impressed 1.1373 0.05615 51 45 5 1
6180 You know, dating apps made impressing someone harder and harder. 1.1373 0.04867 51 44 7 0
6181 Let me know if there's anything else I can help with 1.1373 0.06275 51 46 3 2
6182 I'm still on the fence about taking the COVID vaccine 1.1370 0.04497 73 64 8 1
6183 So anyway, you just have to finish getting your license and then you're all set! 1.1364 0.06161 44 39 4 1
6184 I'm sorry I can't stay for dinner, but I just can't juggle one more thing. 1.1364 0.04257 66 57 9 0
6185 If at first you don’t succeed, die, die again. 1.1364 0.04773 66 58 7 1
6186 This is foreplay I like. 1.1364 0.04257 66 57 9 0
6187 Ok,I get it,you had a busy day. 1.1364 0.04773 66 58 7 1
6188 It should be much more beautiful if we were on ‘a quenched carpet’. 1.1364 0.04773 66 58 7 1
6189 They told me post pandemic dating would be risky 1.1364 0.04773 66 58 7 1
6190 Great Mom. Now what’s for supper? 1.1364 0.06161 44 39 4 1
6191 See, I can bring some balance into your life! 1.1364 0.04257 66 57 9 0
6192 I’ve met so many clowns of first dates I decided to join the circus. 1.1364 0.04773 66 58 7 1
6193 Maybe he’s just gay 1.1364 0.06161 44 39 4 1
6194 Tim wants to go back to online dating. 1.1364 0.06161 44 39 4 1
6195 I wanted to answer your question 'What is life?' through visual aids 1.1358 0.04565 81 72 7 2
6196 When you can't sing, you juggle. 1.1356 0.05104 59 52 6 1
6197 Well, Duolingo got too mainstream... 1.1356 0.04495 59 51 8 0
6198 The vaccine? Too risky! 1.1356 0.05104 59 52 6 1
6199 Merril wasn’t exactly sure what the specials were…but no way she was going back to full time remote for the firm. 1.1356 0.04495 59 51 8 0
6200 Welcome to the Life of a Woman 1.1356 0.04495 59 51 8 0
6201 Yes dear, I am think ready to be a mom. 1.1356 0.05104 59 52 6 1
6202 You do this for me. Then I'll marry you. 1.1356 0.05104 59 52 6 1
6203 We ladies have to be multi-taskers, so you can sit there and take your changes or help me. 1.1356 0.05104 59 52 6 1
6204 I'm picking my weapon of choice. 1.1356 0.04495 59 51 8 0
6205 Who doesn't love dinner and a show? 1.1356 0.04495 59 51 8 0
6206 Do you blind date often? 1.1356 0.05648 59 53 4 2
6207 Our date will be over before you know it . 1.1356 0.05648 59 53 4 2
6208 My Ex had trust issues too, rest his soul. 1.1356 0.05104 59 52 6 1
6209 'This is when I ask for another drink" 1.1356 0.04495 59 51 8 0
6210 Juggling being a mom and working is actually harder. 1.1356 0.05104 59 52 6 1
6211 Who said I don't do tricks? 1.1356 0.05104 59 52 6 1
6212 I share all my first dates on TikTok. 1.1356 0.04495 59 51 8 0
6213 I took our therapist and giving you options 1.1356 0.05104 59 52 6 1
6214 learn any new skills over quarantine? 1.1356 0.04495 59 51 8 0
6215 This isn’t what I meant by excitement 1.1356 0.05104 59 52 6 1
6216 In addition to overpaying for your home I can also offer you my services for children’s parties for the next decade. 1.1356 0.04495 59 51 8 0
6217 Is this what you ordered? 1.1356 0.04495 59 51 8 0
6218 I learned how to do this on tiktok. 1.1356 0.04495 59 51 8 0
6219 So that’s how they make the Impossible Burger! 1.1356 0.05104 59 52 6 1
6220 Since when do I crave attention? 1.1356 0.04495 59 51 8 0
6221 R u not entertained??? 1.1356 0.04495 59 51 8 0
6222 Oh we’re closing the schools again? 1.1356 0.04495 59 51 8 0
6223 I still think we should see other people 1.1356 0.04495 59 51 8 0
6224 I used to be a stay at home mom before, this I can juggle 1.1356 0.05104 59 52 6 1
6225 What? Do YOU know a better way to call the waiter? 1.1356 0.05648 59 53 4 2
6226 In short, that's why I have to break up with you. 1.1351 0.05698 37 32 5 0
6227 Now can we start having kids? 1.1351 0.04001 74 64 10 0
6228 …and I find politics at the dinner table really intrusive. 1.1351 0.04001 74 64 10 0
6229 So,how long have you been on SideshowSingles? 1.1346 0.05512 52 46 5 1
6230 No, I'm not juggling - I'm multi-tasking. 1.1346 0.05512 52 46 5 1
6231 You're the first date to ask how I juggle so many things in my life. 1.1346 0.04779 52 45 7 0
6232 And here our friends were telling me these wouldn't come in handy on our blind date! 1.1346 0.04779 52 45 7 0
6233 OK, you're right. Of course women can multi-task. 1.1346 0.04779 52 45 7 0
6234 This is to prepare for running for mayor of Seattle. 1.1346 0.05512 52 46 5 1
6235 They’re hard to juggle because they’re all different colors. 1.1346 0.06158 52 47 3 2
6236 I'm just a girl standing in front of a boy... 1.1346 0.05512 52 46 5 1
6237 Flip for the check? 1.1346 0.05512 52 46 5 1
6238 This is easier than being a single mom. 1.1346 0.05512 52 46 5 1
6239 I need you to fill the water glass. It goes above the fire. Robert Jablon/rcjablon@aol.com/202-669-4820 1.1346 0.04779 52 45 7 0
6240 Sorry, what was that? I've got a few things on my mind tonight... 1.1346 0.06158 52 47 3 2
6241 This is my only talent, I can't sing for my supper. 1.1346 0.04779 52 45 7 0
6242 Working from home I found a new vocation in life during my coffee breaks. When the virus ends I'm leaving you to join a circus. 1.1346 0.04779 52 45 7 0
6243 And, no mask. 1.1346 0.05512 52 46 5 1
6244 Climb up here so I can add you to the mix. 1.1346 0.05512 52 46 5 1
6245 This is what teaching during Covid has been like! 1.1346 0.05512 52 46 5 1
6246 Your profile did say you were good at juggling things. 1.1346 0.04779 52 45 7 0
6247 I call this the pandemic use whatever you got 1.1346 0.04779 52 45 7 0
6248 It was either this or Sudoku . . .I'm really not a numbers person. 1.1346 0.05512 52 46 5 1
6249 The bowling ball is for comic relief. 1.1346 0.04779 52 45 7 0
6250 Please don't say anything about 'tipping me' ... It's my first day on the job and I'm really really terrified !!! 1.1346 0.04779 52 45 7 0
6251 Hey, toss me your water glass. 1.1346 0.04779 52 45 7 0
6252 It's the only way in this restaurant to get the waiter's attention 1.1346 0.05512 52 46 5 1
6253 Honey, I am proud you've learned new skills during the pandemic and want to show them, but can we go eat now? 1.1346 0.04779 52 45 7 0
6254 O.K., I think I've got it. You can throw in that second job now. 1.1346 0.04779 52 45 7 0
6255 Here’s my latest. Only half the audience gets it. 1.1346 0.05512 52 46 5 1
6256 So can I get you another Shirley Temple? 1.1346 0.04779 52 45 7 0
6257 See, I can also multitasking! 1.1346 0.04779 52 45 7 0
6258 Well, that's called being a mom, honey. 1.1346 0.05512 52 46 5 1
6259 Sally, what does any of this mean? 1.1346 0.04779 52 45 7 0
6260 okay, but isn’t there a better way to communicate that I’m not as helpful with the children? 1.1346 0.05512 52 46 5 1
6261 My coach said I should find my balance. 1.1346 0.04779 52 45 7 0
6262 Please be careful not to drop the ball 1.1343 0.05164 67 60 5 2
6263 Ahem…watch my drink 1.1343 0.04705 67 59 7 1
6264 yeah, but not as hard as juggling the kid, the job, and you. 1.1343 0.04705 67 59 7 1
6265 I'm an actress, I juggle lots of jobs. 1.1343 0.04197 67 58 9 0
6266 I've finally achieved a work-life balance. 1.1343 0.04705 67 59 7 1
6267 On the count of three, toss me your glass of water 1.1343 0.04705 67 59 7 1
6268 Followed by the 10 Tiered Champagne Pouring! 1.1343 0.04705 67 59 7 1
6269 …and I’m not talking a pay cut just to go do what I want. 1.1343 0.04197 67 58 9 0
6270 Cooking school was boring 1.1343 0.04197 67 58 9 0
6271 ...and when I awoke, my penis was still there. 1.1343 0.04705 67 59 7 1
6272 Do you think this will get me the job? 1.1343 0.04705 67 59 7 1
6273 I still miss my phone. Damn it! 1.1343 0.04705 67 59 7 1
6274 Every straight couple. 1.1341 0.03787 82 71 11 0
6275 Let's hope no one will be hurt in this relationship 1.1341 0.04512 82 73 7 2
6276 Well, you ordered it with everything on it. 1.1333 0.06030 45 40 4 1
6277 Wait until you see the entree! 1.1333 0.03952 75 65 10 0
6278 And the clown car will be here shortly to go over the dessert menu. 1.1333 0.06030 45 40 4 1
6279 Very impressive for a first date! 1.1333 0.05023 60 53 6 1
6280 I've never been able to add walking and chewing gum to this act. 1.1333 0.05023 60 53 6 1
6281 You wanted something exciting for dinner. How's this? 1.1333 0.04426 60 52 8 0
6282 Flame for the sizzling fajitas; ball for the meatballs and spaghetti; and chainsaw for our ribeyes 1.1333 0.04426 60 52 8 0
6283 It's a new Olympic sport! 1.1333 0.05557 60 54 4 2
6284 No cooks, no servers, no problem! 1.1333 0.04426 60 52 8 0
6285 Hey! Why the frown?! 1.1333 0.06044 60 55 2 3
6286 It’s amazing why you can teach yourself during a pandemic 1.1333 0.04426 60 52 8 0
6287 Along with a day job, three kids, one therapist, one divorce lawyer and you. 1.1333 0.05125 45 39 6 0
6288 For an extra tip, I'll sing "Habanera". 1.1333 0.04426 60 52 8 0
6289 Meet my cooking utensils 1.1333 0.06030 45 40 4 1
6290 I'm a woooooooo-man. 1.1333 0.04426 60 52 8 0
6291 ....whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer the slings and arrows ..... 1.1333 0.04426 60 52 8 0
6292 I hope I catch these. 1.1333 0.03952 75 65 10 0
6293 With the circus closed and the kitchen short-staffed, I realized my skillset is perfect for waiting tables. 1.1333 0.06030 45 40 4 1
6294 Is that cop giving me a ticket? 1.1333 0.04426 60 52 8 0
6295 This was not the Benihana experience I paid for 1.1333 0.04426 60 52 8 0
6296 Amazing, Eileen things you learned during COVID down time" 1.1333 0.05125 45 39 6 0
6297 The special today is butterflies in your stomach. 1.1333 0.06044 60 55 2 3
6298 No, I don't do martinis. 1.1333 0.05023 60 53 6 1
6299 So what do think about ENM?! 1.1333 0.04426 60 52 8 0
6300 So, what’s working from home like? 1.1333 0.06044 60 55 2 3
6301 Boy.. this is Busy 1.1333 0.05125 45 39 6 0
6302 The thing about a great icebreaker is that the conversation never lives up to the hype. 1.1333 0.05125 45 39 6 0
6303 And on their third date, we saw her pulling out all the stops to convince him to get his vaccine. 1.1333 0.04426 60 52 8 0
6304 Yeah, but what’s for dinner? 1.1333 0.05125 45 39 6 0
6305 Sure honey, I can absolutely plan a dinner for your boss. 1.1333 0.05023 60 53 6 1
6306 Do we have the waiter's attention yet? 1.1333 0.05023 60 53 6 1
6307 The chainsaw is a bit noisy. Did you say snuggle? 1.1324 0.04640 68 60 7 1
6308 Burn, clear or wreck? What would you like? 1.1324 0.05091 68 61 5 2
6309 I got tired of singing for my supper. 1.1324 0.04640 68 60 7 1
6310 What more would you like to know about me? 1.1324 0.04140 68 59 9 0
6311 You look ready to be a father, but I'm still getting there. 1.1321 0.04695 53 46 7 0
6312 I can juggle even more in our relationship! 1.1321 0.05413 53 47 5 1
6313 No way! Nobody knows the long-term effects of the vaccine! 1.1321 0.04695 53 46 7 0
6314 Hey , You swiped right ! 1.1321 0.06046 53 48 3 2
6315 This used to kill em, down at the DoDrop . . .took everybody's mind off the mask . . . 1.1321 0.06046 53 48 3 2
6316 Ok,I understand you work in banking 1.1321 0.05413 53 47 5 1
6317 I'm trying to get you to look at me eye to eye. 1.1321 0.05413 53 47 5 1
6318 Your next! 1.1321 0.05413 53 47 5 1
6319 And what did you learn in your pandemic isolation year? 1.1321 0.05413 53 47 5 1
6320 I know this is probably a second or third date thing but…Ta-da! 1.1321 0.04695 53 46 7 0
6321 Hey, hon…you can do the working from home, homeschooling, and housekeeping gig. 1.1321 0.05413 53 47 5 1
6322 May I have a volunteer from the audience, please? How about you, sir? 1.1321 0.04695 53 46 7 0
6323 My life’s been a real Circus. 1.1321 0.05413 53 47 5 1
6324 Now that I have your attention, I'd like to talk about net neutrality. 1.1321 0.05413 53 47 5 1
6325 Jerk Du Soleil 1.1321 0.04695 53 46 7 0
6326 I`ve heard of "Sing for your Supper", but this is ridiculous. 1.1321 0.05413 53 47 5 1
6327 I"ve practiced for a year. 1.1321 0.05413 53 47 5 1
6328 Darn, forgot my mask! 1.1321 0.04695 53 46 7 0
6329 I'm just juggling too much right now. 1.1321 0.05413 53 47 5 1
6330 I was really shy until juggling came into my life. 1.1321 0.06046 53 48 3 2
6331 Hmm. That is all? 1.1321 0.05413 53 47 5 1
6332 So, do you have kids? 1.1321 0.05413 53 47 5 1
6333 My hidden talent is handling red flags 1.1321 0.04695 53 46 7 0
6334 The New Skills from Pandemic Lockdown mating dance. 1.1321 0.05413 53 47 5 1
6335 This doesn’t feel safe without our masks 😷 1.1321 0.04695 53 46 7 0
6336 People were complaining about the wait time forr their food. 1.1321 0.04695 53 46 7 0
6337 And if I can do it with a plate spinning on my head, they'll promote me to 'Probational Teacher Level 2' and raise my pay two cents. 1.1321 0.06046 53 48 3 2
6338 Shouldn’t we wait for the third date for this? 1.1321 0.05413 53 47 5 1
6339 You promised that if I learned to do this you'd marry me. 1.1316 0.04717 76 68 6 2
6340 Yep, they’ve even got a merit badge for it. 1.1311 0.04945 61 54 6 1
6341 I'm a woman,w-o-m-a-n. 1.1311 0.05470 61 55 4 2
6342 Is there anything I can do to get a rise out of you? 1.1311 0.04945 61 54 6 1
6343 I think Benihana is open again, but I've enjoyed your shows and meals too. 1.1311 0.04945 61 54 6 1
6344 Oops, I forgot the rattlesnake. 1.1311 0.04358 61 53 8 0
6345 This is just an appetizer. You won't believe what's coming for the entrée. 1.1311 0.04945 61 54 6 1
6346 I'm practicing to be trump's campaign manager in 2024, unless he's in prison, and even then... 1.1311 0.04358 61 53 8 0
6347 How do you think our first date is going so far? 1.1311 0.04945 61 54 6 1
6348 And you can't decide whether to have the Caesar salad or the soup? 1.1311 0.04945 61 54 6 1
6349 My status? It's complicated. 1.1311 0.04358 61 53 8 0
6350 Just juggling kids career and marriage. 1.1311 0.05470 61 55 4 2
6351 Ask me again why I don't want kids. 1.1311 0.04945 61 54 6 1
6352 This is nothing--wait 'til you see my work/life balance! 1.1311 0.04358 61 53 8 0
6353 I found my purpose. 1.1311 0.04945 61 54 6 1
6354 Check and mate. 1.1311 0.04945 61 54 6 1
6355 Can you juggle my Google calendar, too? 1.1311 0.04945 61 54 6 1
6356 Can I offer you a cup of tea, darling? 1.1311 0.04358 61 53 8 0
6357 ...I’m a good listener? 1.1311 0.04945 61 54 6 1
6358 Hmm, that’s impressive but where’s your smile? 1.1311 0.04945 61 54 6 1
6359 Are you sure that was supposed to do at dinner after isolation? 1.1311 0.04358 61 53 8 0
6360 I lost my social skills during the pandemic; do you think I'm impressing him? 1.1311 0.04358 61 53 8 0
6361 This wasn’t in your profile. 1.1304 0.04084 69 60 9 0
6362 I'm still working on my communication skills. 1.1304 0.04084 69 60 9 0
6363 Boyfriends are the challenge. 1.1304 0.05020 46 40 6 0
6364 So which of our circus-to-table items would you like? 1.1304 0.05905 46 41 4 1
6365 Would you like a paramedic with that? 1.1304 0.05020 46 40 6 0
6366 As a mom, I think the pandemic kept me productive! 1.1304 0.04576 69 61 7 1
6367 I know it sounds cliche, but this ain't nuthin' compared to working 50 hours a week and raising two kids as a single mom." 1.1304 0.05020 69 62 5 2
6368 If I have the time to learn all this, you can at LEAST make the time to get vaccinated! 1.1304 0.05905 46 41 4 1
6369 Wait till they bring the beef: Then its Eat your heart out Benihana! 1.1304 0.05905 46 41 4 1
6370 As your agent, I strongly recommend off-road insurance. 1.1304 0.06673 46 42 2 2
6371 So, do you come here often? 1.1304 0.05905 46 41 4 1
6372 Impressed? My grandpa was a regular on the Ed Sullivan Show. 1.1304 0.04576 69 61 7 1
6373 Do you have any food allergies? 1.1304 0.04576 69 61 7 1
6374 At least I’m making an effort to make this relationship work 1.1304 0.05020 46 40 6 0
6375 Still easier than all the juggling I did when the kids were remote learning. 1.1304 0.05020 46 40 6 0
6376 watching 2021 like… 1.1304 0.06673 46 42 2 2
6377 Wow, speed dating now a days is a bit extreme... 1.1304 0.05905 46 41 4 1
6378 The unbalanced perception of gender roles 1.1304 0.05020 46 40 6 0
6379 My last date never called again 1.1296 0.04614 54 47 7 0
6380 The new anti-vax emoji. 1.1296 0.04614 54 47 7 0
6381 Tried to write a caption for this one but got distracted by googling how Pia Guerra went from drawing Y: The Last Man to doing New Yorker cartoons. 1.1296 0.05938 54 49 3 2
6382 I’m ok with just seltzer, thank you. 1.1296 0.04614 54 47 7 0
6383 I betcha never saw this done with a chainsaw, a bowling ball AND a blonde wig on a stick! 1.1296 0.04614 54 47 7 0
6384 Practicing for an ICP Rally. What did you think? 1.1296 0.05318 54 48 5 1
6385 Quick, Let' play catch! 1.1296 0.04614 54 47 7 0
6386 They wouldn’t hire me — they said I wasn’t good enough at multitasking.” 1.1296 0.05318 54 48 5 1
6387 They needed all the plates in the kitchen so I went with plan B. 1.1296 0.05318 54 48 5 1
6388 One false move and your dinner! 1.1296 0.04614 54 47 7 0
6389 This is nothing . I used to work for Facebook! 1.1296 0.05318 54 48 5 1
6390 Just getting ready to go back in to the office, dear. 1.1296 0.04614 54 47 7 0
6391 You think this is something, you’d have loved the practice sessions. 1.1296 0.04614 54 47 7 0
6392 I just somehow felt safer juggling everything during the lockdown. 1.1296 0.05318 54 48 5 1
6393 Admit it, you're just jealous! 1.1296 0.05318 54 48 5 1
6394 My record is only dropping one of them. 1.1296 0.05938 54 49 3 2
6395 You could have just passed the butter. 1.1296 0.04614 54 47 7 0
6396 It helps with Social Distancing. 1.1296 0.04614 54 47 7 0
6397 Wow! I can’t believe you’re on the table. 1.1296 0.05318 54 48 5 1
6398 See, I'm getting better at juggling the dangers around me" 1.1296 0.04614 54 47 7 0
6399 I wonder where those appetizers are? 1.1296 0.05318 54 48 5 1
6400 I should have gone to curch. 1.1296 0.04614 54 47 7 0
6401 Would you ask if they have gluten-free? 1.1296 0.04614 54 47 7 0
6402 I have to be prepared in case Harvard stops taking the SAT. 1.1296 0.04614 54 47 7 0
6403 Do you know how easy it is to do this, all you need is a little practice pfft.... 1.1296 0.04614 54 47 7 0
6404 He couldn't wait to tell her he knew the owner. 1.1296 0.05318 54 48 5 1
6405 And how would it help your 'female mental load' if I were doing that right now? 1.1296 0.04614 54 47 7 0
6406 Don’t worry, I'll handle it myself. 1.1296 0.05318 54 48 5 1
6407 I just asked her how she can juggle it all.. 1.1296 0.05318 54 48 5 1
6408 Yes, I took up some new hobbies during lockdown. 1.1296 0.04614 54 47 7 0
6409 That's just how we roll 1.1296 0.04614 54 47 7 0
6410 I mean, I'm a working mother, so this just came naturally. 1.1296 0.04614 54 47 7 0
6411 It’s not like I’m trying hard, or anything.... 1.1296 0.05318 54 48 5 1
6412 Like my multi juggling? Well boy, it's not just Man who is struggling! 1.1296 0.05938 54 49 3 2
6413 That’s neat but can you juggle work-life balance? 1.1296 0.05318 54 48 5 1
6414 Actually, being a man is almost more challenging... 1.1296 0.05318 54 48 5 1
6415 I thought you said amuse douche 1.1290 0.05385 62 56 4 2
6416 The beginning of another disastrous gender reveal celebration! 1.1290 0.04869 62 55 6 1
6417 I had too much time in quarantine. 1.1290 0.04292 62 54 8 0
6418 Now that I have your attention, will you please do the dishes? It’s your turn. 1.1290 0.05385 62 56 4 2
6419 'I wonder if I should ask her to pay for half?' 1.1290 0.04292 62 54 8 0
6420 I used to think the variant was my biggest risk during eating out…. 1.1290 0.05385 62 56 4 2
6421 I'm just trying to capture the waiter's attention so he'll bring me a glass of water too. 1.1290 0.05385 62 56 4 2
6422 Anything else I can do to impress you? 1.1290 0.04292 62 54 8 0
6423 When your profile said you were multi-talented, I was hoping those talents came separately. 1.1290 0.04869 62 55 6 1
6424 That doesn't look like my laundry... 1.1290 0.04292 62 54 8 0
6425 I prefer to work from home. 1.1290 0.04869 62 55 6 1
6426 With ridiculous intention yesterday, I scored a hit on a hittopotamus! 1.1290 0.04869 62 55 6 1
6427 Risk/Reward? I've never been very good at math, but I know what I like. Besides, I find risk rewarding so what's the diff? 1.1290 0.04292 62 54 8 0
6428 You weren’t kidding in your profile, this is a unique pandemic hobby you picked up. 1.1290 0.04869 62 55 6 1
6429 As an adult, i am jungling many responsabilities on this date. 1.1290 0.04869 62 55 6 1
6430 Sorry but I’m busker intolerant 1.1290 0.04869 62 55 6 1
6431 I don’t understand why people say dating is so hard 1.1290 0.04292 62 54 8 0
6432 Yeah, so as I was saying, I'm not going to get the vaccine . . . 1.1290 0.05385 62 56 4 2
6433 There's an entertainment cover charge and, if I miss, the tips are extraordinary. 1.1286 0.04030 70 61 9 0
6434 So, I do this, I work full-time and I'm a mom... 1.1286 0.04030 70 61 9 0
6435 No, sir, I'm afraid we're out of swords. 1.1286 0.04030 70 61 9 0
6436 All this risk and trouble and effort and time, but still not pleased? Then what will? 1.1286 0.04030 70 61 9 0
6437 Tell me you’re on a dating app without telling me you’re on a dating app. 1.1286 0.04030 70 61 9 0
6438 What do you imagine & want in today's dating experience? 1.1282 0.06550 39 35 3 1
6439 My dating profile did say "thrill seeker", are you surprised? 1.1277 0.04920 47 41 6 0
6440 Could you please do it backwards? 1.1277 0.05784 47 42 4 1
6441 I don't wear the makeup until the third date. 1.1277 0.06535 47 43 2 2
6442 All right — I’ll help out more at home. 1.1277 0.04920 47 41 6 0
6443 I do this between courses. I have ADHD 1.1277 0.05784 47 42 4 1
6444 Yeah, it’s my new habit of trying to balance regular life with all the new hobbies I adopted during covid 1.1277 0.04920 47 41 6 0
6445 Juggling all of that, and a career? I guess women CAN have it all! 1.1277 0.05784 47 42 4 1
6446 Sure, I plan to add Tyler and Ruthie next week. 1.1277 0.04920 47 41 6 0
6447 No, I don't think it's dangerous. Of course, I'm also unvaccinated. 1.1277 0.04920 47 41 6 0
6448 It's my take on interpretive dance. I call this one, "2021." 1.1277 0.04920 47 41 6 0
6449 How do I juggle three different jobs? ... I'll show you! 1.1277 0.04920 47 41 6 0
6450 See? It's perfectly safe here without your mask on! 1.1277 0.04920 47 41 6 0
6451 Sorry, we’re understaffed tonight. 1.1277 0.04920 47 41 6 0
6452 It's called 'risk' multitasking" 1.1277 0.05784 47 42 4 1
6453 So this is what you meant when you said your boss is a clown 1.1277 0.05784 47 42 4 1
6454 I can think of three things more difficult to use than a mask 1.1277 0.04920 47 41 6 0
6455 Get a grip. 1.1277 0.05784 47 42 4 1
6456 As you can see, I can’t possibly juggle one more thing right now. 1.1277 0.06535 47 43 2 2
6457 Actually, this is how I got the nickname. Feel better? 1.1273 0.04535 55 48 7 0
6458 This motherfucker… 1.1273 0.04535 55 48 7 0
6459 I'm looking for a partner. 1.1273 0.04535 55 48 7 0
6460 Is that a yes or a no? My biological clock is ticking. 1.1273 0.05834 55 50 3 2
6461 You ordered a popcycle? 1.1273 0.05225 55 49 5 1
6462 I understand, of course, you have to watch Shark Tank this evening for research purposes. 1.1273 0.04535 55 48 7 0
6463 Dinner is the show. 1.1273 0.05225 55 49 5 1
6464 I asked for a soda. 1.1273 0.05225 55 49 5 1
6465 No flambe for me. 1.1273 0.05225 55 49 5 1
6466 Can you try something a little more challenging? 1.1273 0.04535 55 48 7 0
6467 Well, I did say I was an entertaining date in the ad. 1.1273 0.05834 55 50 3 2
6468 My ex got the kids, so I had to find something else to juggle with my career. 1.1273 0.05225 55 49 5 1
6469 "Like most jugglers, I started with sponge balls." 1.1273 0.05834 55 50 3 2
6470 It's a game. It's called win-win. 1.1273 0.04535 55 48 7 0
6471 I can also tango on a dime! 1.1273 0.04535 55 48 7 0
6472 My new hobby I took up over the past year and a half. 1.1273 0.05225 55 49 5 1
6473 I’m the Karamazov sister. My brothers will be here at dinner. 1.1273 0.04535 55 48 7 0
6474 It's the only way I know to break the glass ceiling. 1.1273 0.05225 55 49 5 1
6475 Um, your hobbies looked very different on Tinder. 1.1273 0.05225 55 49 5 1
6476 This'll get us a waiter's attention! 1.1273 0.05225 55 49 5 1
6477 …aaand I can breast feed a baby at the same time! 1.1273 0.05225 55 49 5 1
6478 This is a skill I picked up your the covid lockdown. 1.1273 0.04535 55 48 7 0
6479 Dare I swipe left now? 1.1273 0.05225 55 49 5 1
6480 Just so that, on our first date, you don't have to ask me what I like to do in my spare time. 1.1273 0.04535 55 48 7 0
6481 Well, no. I haven't gotten the vaccine. But I can do this! 1.1273 0.04535 55 48 7 0
6482 I am not sure I can juggle a fourth prop in my life! 1.1273 0.04535 55 48 7 0
6483 Any chance you can serve dinner tonight? 1.1273 0.04535 55 48 7 0
6484 The manager wants me to tell you, one more complaint and I drop the chainsaw. 1.1273 0.04535 55 48 7 0
6485 Honey, I think the waiter said "would you like the bowl of Jugged Hare and some coleslaw? ..." Not... "could you juggle a bowl & a flare and a chainsaw?" 1.1273 0.05225 55 49 5 1
6486 And then, of course, I watched Tiger King 1.1273 0.05834 55 50 3 2
6487 The United States handling COVID. 1.1273 0.05225 55 49 5 1
6488 But do you know how to ask ‘me’ a question? 1.1273 0.05225 55 49 5 1
6489 This is certainly a creative way to go about the assisted suicide I asked for. I’ll pick the chainsaw please. 1.1273 0.04535 55 48 7 0
6490 My analyst says I should diversify my diversions! 1.1270 0.05303 63 57 4 2
6491 We don't have the dessert tray anymore so I'm all there is. 1.1270 0.04229 63 55 8 0
6492 NO DANGER THEY ARE BOTH VACCINATED 1.1270 0.05766 63 58 2 3
6493 Dating sites! 1.1270 0.04796 63 56 6 1
6494 Wait'll you see what we do when order food! 1.1270 0.04796 63 56 6 1
6495 I can fit you in for another drink next Tuesday night from 7:30-8:00. 1.1270 0.04229 63 55 8 0
6496 Did I get the waiter's attention yet? 1.1270 0.04229 63 55 8 0
6497 It is my first date after lockdown,so I do not have much time to impress you. Delta is coming. 1.1270 0.04796 63 56 6 1
6498 No, you didn’t mention this in your online profile. 1.1270 0.04796 63 56 6 1
6499 Honey, please get your bayonet. 1.1270 0.04796 63 56 6 1
6500 I’d be more impressed if you fixed yourself up some. 1.1270 0.04229 63 55 8 0
6501 Mum said I should always try to make a good impression on first dates. 1.1270 0.04796 63 56 6 1
6502 Watch me do more than one thing on a small space! 1.1270 0.05303 63 57 4 2
6503 Me personally? I'd kill the torch, marry the bowling ball, and obviously fuck the chainsaw. 1.1270 0.04229 63 55 8 0
6504 How's life Mary?" "Oh you know, just learning to juggle everything. 1.1270 0.04229 63 55 8 0
6505 I'm sorry, but is this gluten free? 1.1270 0.04796 63 56 6 1
6506 And for my finale, I’ll juggle the priorities necessary to save the world from climate change. 1.1270 0.04229 63 55 8 0
6507 Tinder just can’t do justice to my talents, so I save them for the first date. 1.1270 0.04796 63 56 6 1
6508 So THAT’s what you mean by mental load. 1.1270 0.04229 63 55 8 0
6509 I’m just seeking acceptance, not approval, but thanks for asking about my Hot Mom Summer. 1.1270 0.04229 63 55 8 0
6510 Shirley, you've escaped that circus cult more than a year ago. You do know how to order a shot of fireball and a chainsaw cocktail with words. 1.1270 0.04229 63 55 8 0
6511 Susan was trying to have it all, and Bob was just a great easy going dad. 1.1270 0.04229 63 55 8 0
6512 Is this what you meant by "strong hand game" on your profile? 1.1268 0.03977 71 62 9 0
6513 PLEEEEASE....Can we skip the virus 1.1268 0.04454 71 63 7 1
6514 Go ahead, entertain me, woman! 1.1268 0.04885 71 64 5 2
6515 You spin me right 'round, baby right round, like a record baby, right round right round....Oh I want your love! 1.1264 0.04265 87 78 7 2
6516 Now, toss me that aardvark. And don't ask me again about the child's bowling ball. Oh, no! The cotton swab is coming apart! Hey, do you think it would be more interesting to start the chainsaw? My stage name is Tillie Twotoes. Wanna see why? Burrrp! 1.1264 0.04568 87 79 5 3
6517 I shouldn’t have asked to see the specials. 1.1250 0.04459 56 49 7 0
6518 Wait for what I can do for our second date.......... 1.1250 0.04459 56 49 7 0
6519 Sometimes I think Leave it to Beaver world wasn't so bad after all. 1.1250 0.05136 56 50 5 1
6520 How's this for more spice? 1.1250 0.04459 56 49 7 0
6521 ORDER A WHITE WINE SPRITZER FOR ME. 1.1250 0.04824 48 42 6 0
6522 I won't run over them if I miss 1.1250 0.04459 56 49 7 0
6523 I honestly had something else in mind when you suggested we 'shake things up a bit.' 1.1250 0.04167 64 56 8 0
6524 Welcome to the See-Saw Cafe! 1.1250 0.04167 64 56 8 0
6525 I just scored 4.0 on table top activities at the Tokyo Olympics 1.1250 0.04820 72 65 5 2
6526 That feather duster makes me want to sneeze. 1.1250 0.04725 64 57 6 1
6527 I’m also a single mother. 1.1250 0.04459 56 49 7 0
6528 I've practised with each item for a long time. 1.1250 0.05223 64 58 4 2
6529 Stop jesting. Can you handle the medieval three course meal? 1.1250 0.04824 48 42 6 0
6530 I wouldn’t swipe left if I were you… 1.1250 0.05136 56 50 5 1
6531 You can tip your waitress, but for me You can just sign the life insurance form. 1.1250 0.05669 48 43 4 1
6532 Simon on first dates, I always feel like I am need to impress my date by showing off all my tricks. 1.1250 0.04459 56 49 7 0
6533 I'm working my way through Clown College. 1.1250 0.04459 56 49 7 0
6534 ...but I think I’m ready to try throwing a relationship into the mix. 1.1250 0.05136 56 50 5 1
6535 Quarantine taught me I have so many talents, my therapist said it’s time I showed them to someone else. 1.1250 0.05669 48 43 4 1
6536 Fauci, deSantis, the CDC - a real juggling act. 1.1250 0.04820 72 65 5 2
6537 Now pass me your water glass... 1.1250 0.04459 56 49 7 0
6538 And that's when I realized ... nursing school! 1.1250 0.04725 64 57 6 1
6539 Amazing, yes. Sexy, no. 1.1250 0.04824 48 42 6 0
6540 I call it, "my life as a server before minimum wage." 1.1250 0.05669 48 43 4 1
6541 I had nothing but time on my hands... 1.1250 0.05136 56 50 5 1
6542 Excuse me, I ordered a tossed SALAD! 1.1250 0.05136 56 50 5 1
6543 I've been thinking about taking up bowling. 1.1250 0.04725 64 57 6 1
6544 I thought the olympics were over 1.1250 0.05669 48 43 4 1
6545 Do you know how hard it is to find a flamenco dancing school in this city? 1.1250 0.04459 56 49 7 0
6546 You should trade Jones and play Sandford this week, but I don't know much about your fantasy football league... 1.1250 0.04725 64 57 6 1
6547 As I told my therapist, sometimes I feel like I am juggling multitasking on a unicycle. 1.1250 0.05734 56 51 3 2
6548 But ALL women can multi-task like this! 1.1250 0.04167 64 56 8 0
6549 The thing is,I want you to want to help me with this chainsaw. 1.1250 0.04459 56 49 7 0
6550 Now it's your turn. Get off your ass and do something! 1.1250 0.04459 56 49 7 0
6551 You know, the restaurant should be paying ME. 1.1250 0.05136 56 50 5 1
6552 Yes, but when are you going to have kids? 1.1250 0.05669 48 43 4 1
6553 and for my next trick!!! 1.1250 0.04459 56 49 7 0
6554 Multi-tasking is easy, see? 1.1250 0.04167 64 56 8 0
6555 The dating app did say you were a multitasker! 1.1250 0.04725 64 57 6 1
6556 These are the appetizers 1.1250 0.04824 48 42 6 0
6557 Rehearsing for my new job in Congress, 1.1250 0.04725 64 57 6 1
6558 OK, now hand me $50,000 in student debt. 1.1250 0.06403 48 44 2 2
6559 Ok, Morrie, when I yell "HOP," you jump in between the torch and the chainsaw. 1.1250 0.04459 56 49 7 0
6560 America’s Got Talent said they’d get back to me. 1.1250 0.04824 48 42 6 0
6561 If you're looking for a homemaker, you're talking to the wrong girl. 1.1250 0.04459 56 49 7 0
6562 So, you tell me about your hobbies. 1.1250 0.04459 56 49 7 0
6563 I like to multitask until the meal arrives. 1.1250 0.05136 56 50 5 1
6564 Just about a tíme to take a break from dating. 1.1250 0.05136 56 50 5 1
6565 I managed to stay busy during the pandemic. 1.1250 0.04459 56 49 7 0
6566 During dessert, you can saw me in half. 1.1250 0.04824 48 42 6 0
6567 Tonight’s special is chicken 1.1250 0.05669 48 43 4 1
6568 It helps speed up service when there’s a staffing shortage 1.1250 0.05136 56 50 5 1
6569 Check out this new ‘second shift’ trick I learned !! 1.1250 0.05136 56 50 5 1
6570 Finally a date with someone who didn’t exaggerate in their Tinder profile 1.1250 0.05223 64 58 4 2
6571 'I don't think this is going to work.' 1.1250 0.05669 48 43 4 1
6572 Okay, now pass me the salt. 1.1250 0.05136 56 50 5 1
6573 I really AM a shrinking violet… it’s our college Sorority group. 1.1250 0.05136 56 50 5 1
6574 ..Well till we get our internet connection back... 1.1250 0.05136 56 50 5 1
6575 Yeah, so this was my lockdown go to. 1.1250 0.04167 64 56 8 0
6576 between juggaling chainsaws, firsticks, my mental health, my free time, I'm glad you could spring in date night for me 1.1250 0.04459 56 49 7 0
6577 I know you were expecting twirling, but you have to admit this is pretty dope. 1.1250 0.04725 64 57 6 1
6578 And served tableside tonight… 1.1250 0.03925 72 63 9 0
6579 So this is what mansplaining feels like… 1.1250 0.04459 56 49 7 0
6580 I told you. The pandemic quarantine is a great time to learn something new. 1.1233 0.03875 73 64 9 0
6581 I was wondering why the waiter asked if I'd like one of their "special" cups for the show. 1.1233 0.04338 73 65 7 1
6582 This is the last time that you will forget your credit card 1.1231 0.04107 65 57 8 0
6583 Where's our waiter? Here -- let me get his attention. 1.1231 0.04655 65 58 6 1
6584 I'll have the Chicken Tetrazini 1.1231 0.04107 65 57 8 0
6585 They offered to let me wash dishes for my dinner instead, but I haven't done dishes since I was a kid. 1.1231 0.04107 65 57 8 0
6586 hiring all positions 1.1231 0.04655 65 58 6 1
6587 I'm just trying to help you visualize my invisible load, dear. 1.1231 0.04107 65 57 8 0
6588 well you see, I'm wife-material 1.1231 0.04655 65 58 6 1
6589 You're trying way too hard to impress me, for a first date. 1.1228 0.05050 57 51 5 1
6590 So this is a little bit about me. What are your hobbies? 1.1228 0.05050 57 51 5 1
6591 Getting vaccinated is really liberating! 1.1228 0.05050 57 51 5 1
6592 Please tip me, I'm gonna kill myself. 1.1228 0.04386 57 50 7 0
6593 See, I'm just what you need. 1.1228 0.04386 57 50 7 0
6594 I find it saves a lot of time. 1.1228 0.04386 57 50 7 0
6595 This place is fine! I'll just ask if they have a mopbowlsawcycle menu, many places do now. 1.1228 0.04386 57 50 7 0
6596 Sue pulled out all the stops to make sure her first date with Jeremy was "entertaining enough" for him. 1.1228 0.05636 57 52 3 2
6597 Rock,paper,scissors. 1.1228 0.04386 57 50 7 0
6598 I had to do something after I finished Netflix. 1.1228 0.05050 57 51 5 1
6599 I’ll get us some menus. 1.1228 0.05050 57 51 5 1
6600 Your Spin? 1.1228 0.04386 57 50 7 0
6601 Just please.... try not to spill my drink. 1.1228 0.05050 57 51 5 1
6602 As I was saying before you interrupted me . . . 1.1228 0.04386 57 50 7 0
6603 As promised on my Hinge profile. Shadi Kafi, Denver CO How to earn a second date. Shadi Kafi, Denver CO 1.1228 0.05050 57 51 5 1
6604 Sorry it won't help. I'm just not a big tipper. 1.1228 0.06167 57 53 1 3
6605 I'm just the warm-up act for the sushi chef. 1.1228 0.04386 57 50 7 0
6606 So, who is going to pay the bill? 1.1228 0.05050 57 51 5 1
6607 I used to be a surgeon 1.1228 0.04386 57 50 7 0
6608 See? Look at all these fun things I found just collecting dust in the garage! 1.1228 0.05050 57 51 5 1
6609 You didn’t make breakfast yet? 1.1228 0.05050 57 51 5 1
6610 Sure, that's great, but during lockdown I completed Netflix. 1.1224 0.04731 49 43 6 0
6611 That's very impressive, but the dating app said you were low key. 1.1224 0.04731 49 43 6 0
6612 Climb up and I will add you 1.1224 0.04731 49 43 6 0
6613 Not what I had in mind for a cook-your-own-steak restaurant 1.1224 0.04731 49 43 6 0
6614 Just in case you don't believe I'm a single mom. 1.1224 0.04731 49 43 6 0
6615 When everyone else was learning to cook, I spent the past year on more useful pursuits 1.1224 0.05558 49 44 4 1
6616 Starting to look like the lessons paid big dividends: can we order now! 1.1224 0.04731 49 43 6 0
6617 I asked for a side show 1.1224 0.04731 49 43 6 0
6618 It was either this or wear a mask. 1.1224 0.04731 49 43 6 0
6619 I thought we'd start light, you know, ease into things. The next course is Mozart on a harpsichord, and I thought I'd save the compatibility questionnaire for dessert. 1.1224 0.06276 49 45 2 2
6620 I'm told I'd love this restaurant for its relaxed vibe. 1.1224 0.05558 49 44 4 1
6621 Aren't you glad you didn't swipe left?! 1.1224 0.04731 49 43 6 0
6622 I was so excited when you called for a second date. 1.1224 0.04731 49 43 6 0
6623 I call this next trick, "Epstein didn't kill himself." 1.1224 0.05558 49 44 4 1
6624 I just waned meatloaf. 1.1224 0.04731 49 43 6 0
6625 I'm never letting mom set me up again! 1.1224 0.04731 49 43 6 0
6626 Try something more realistic. 1.1224 0.05558 49 44 4 1
6627 After 18 months of home-schooling by anti-vaccers it was the safest job I could get. 1.1224 0.05558 49 44 4 1
6628 No way i'm getting the shot 1.1224 0.05558 49 44 4 1
6629 Juggle Joint 1.1224 0.06921 49 46 0 3
6630 Sure, you can get a side salad instead of fries. 1.1224 0.05558 49 44 4 1
6631 That's how women juggle responsibilities every day. 1.1224 0.05558 49 44 4 1
6632 They say this is safer than the vaccine 1.1224 0.04731 49 43 6 0
6633 Your dating profile said you were a lawyer 1.1224 0.04731 49 43 6 0
6634 You weren’t the first one to get the ‘2 Truths and a Lie’ wrong. 1.1224 0.05558 49 44 4 1
6635 Still easier than all the emotional labor you make me do 1.1224 0.06276 49 45 2 2
6636 I thought you said after dessert. 1.1224 0.04731 49 43 6 0
6637 This is easy. Juggling a good work-life balance - now that's the hard part. 1.1224 0.06276 49 45 2 2
6638 You really are a great guy, I've just been juggling a lot lately. 1.1220 0.06242 41 37 3 1
6639 I'm on fire! Put a RING on it ...because we are expecting! 1.1220 0.05174 41 36 5 0
6640 Rock-paper-scissors is so old school. 1.1220 0.06242 41 37 3 1
6641 Impressive, I have a couple others i need to see but I’ll get back to you in a couple days 1.1220 0.03636 82 72 10 0
6642 I can't wait to see that you have planned for dessert 1.1212 0.04588 66 59 6 1
6643 And I'm doing this without a mask or vaccine. 1.1212 0.05071 66 60 4 2
6644 as you can see, I don't have the time to juggle a relationship right now 1.1212 0.04048 66 58 8 0
6645 "On our first date meeting I thought I would show you all the hobbies I now do from my covid lockdown experiences" 1.1212 0.04048 66 58 8 0
6646 Can you add a triple back flip? 1.1212 0.04048 66 58 8 0
6647 Bae, can you just not? I worked super hard on this kombucha and you’re totally going to spill it. 1.1212 0.04588 66 59 6 1
6648 Ok, this is the part where you catch the chainsaw in your mouth. 1.1207 0.04315 58 51 7 0
6649 I'm sorry, Kevin. Life with you is just too boring. 1.1207 0.04315 58 51 7 0
6650 Since you don't seem to "get it"..I thought I would show you what I was talking about. Get it now? 1.1207 0.04315 58 51 7 0
6651 Want to see the hobbies I picked up?” - first date after the pandemic 1.1207 0.04967 58 52 5 1
6652 We broke up because my last boy friend was a clown. 1.1207 0.04315 58 51 7 0
6653 I gotta go pickup Ryan from soccer and Jennifer from softball, but can I get you another beer first Hon? 1.1207 0.04315 58 51 7 0
6654 Just to prove to you that I can juggle a career and rasing a family. 1.1207 0.05542 58 53 3 2
6655 Well, you're the one who asked what it was like being in a poly relationship! 1.1207 0.05542 58 53 3 2
6656 LA PD's finest juggling investigations team 1.1207 0.04967 58 52 5 1
6657 My last tinder came up with the fire idea. 1.1207 0.04315 58 51 7 0
6658 I'm just not ready to give up anything to take you on. 1.1207 0.04967 58 52 5 1
6659 Are you threatened by women who bowl? 1.1207 0.04315 58 51 7 0
6660 Impressive. Can I go now..? 1.1207 0.04315 58 51 7 0
6661 Your profile said you were talented. I don't see it. 1.1207 0.04315 58 51 7 0
6662 Now, about that prenup. 1.1207 0.04315 58 51 7 0
6663 Um…uh, oh…cover your crotch! 1.1207 0.04967 58 52 5 1
6664 Didn’t expect this when she suggested dinner and a show. 1.1207 0.04315 58 51 7 0
6665 Does this performance merit a second date? 1.1207 0.04967 58 52 5 1
6666 When was the last time you were out? 1.1207 0.04315 58 51 7 0
6667 I also cook and clean exceptionally well 1.1207 0.04967 58 52 5 1
6668 So, anyway, I think I’ve finally got this motherhood thing down. 1.1207 0.04967 58 52 5 1
6669 That is great honey, how are your other Covid goals coming along? 1.1207 0.04315 58 51 7 0
6670 See if the waitstaff isn't quicker tonight. 1.1207 0.04967 58 52 5 1
6671 So when you say you had to juggle your options I guess you weren’t kidding 1.1207 0.04967 58 52 5 1
6672 I’m what the kids call cheugy 1.1207 0.04315 58 51 7 0
6673 …Also, I’m 5’8 in heels because apparently that matters. 1.1207 0.04967 58 52 5 1
6674 Brittany is trying a little too hard to impress David. 1.1205 0.03595 83 73 10 0
6675 Did you get all these interesting skills during Covid lockdown?? 1.1200 0.04642 50 44 6 0
6676 But I can’t pick up a check. 1.1200 0.04642 50 44 6 0
6677 A screenplay? Oh god, I could never do that. 1.1200 0.05451 50 45 4 1
6678 You said you're just not into small talk, so I thought I'd entertain you with a few of your favorite things. 1.1200 0.04642 50 44 6 0
6679 I'm trying to get a feel for what it's like to be Mitch McConnell these days. 1.1200 0.04642 50 44 6 0
6680 You told me I needed a hobby! 1.1200 0.05451 50 45 4 1
6681 you really weren't kidding in your profile huh? 1.1200 0.05451 50 45 4 1
6682 Waiter! I'll have my flame grilled meatballs to go please! 1.1200 0.04642 50 44 6 0
6683 I know this is our first date but you may be trying just a little too hard... 1.1200 0.04642 50 44 6 0
6684 I wanted something more challenging than spinning plates. 1.1200 0.05451 50 45 4 1
6685 Dinner with Martha was always a toss up 1.1200 0.05451 50 45 4 1
6686 So I assume that means you don't have the lobster. 1.1200 0.05451 50 45 4 1
6687 Throw me Career and Children one at a time. 1.1200 0.05451 50 45 4 1
6688 Dinner will be served at intermission 1.1200 0.05451 50 45 4 1
6689 Usually my date has the hots for me by now. On fire, I mean. 1.1200 0.04642 50 44 6 0
6690 Ok, but I can find the right tupperware lid every time. 1.1200 0.06154 50 46 2 2
6691 I have a habit of over sharing on first dates. 1.1200 0.04642 50 44 6 0
6692 She was just mind-splitting!! 1.1200 0.04642 50 44 6 0
6693 Multitasking is my thing… 1.1200 0.05451 50 45 4 1
6694 Fuck with me Jerry and you'll find out. 1.1200 0.05451 50 45 4 1
6695 I’m also not vaccinated. 1.1200 0.04642 50 44 6 0
6696 Thanks for waiting, my SoulCycle class ended late 1.1200 0.04642 50 44 6 0
6697 Sarah tried again to impress her boring date. 1.1200 0.04642 50 44 6 0
6698 I’ll have Jeopardy to start followed by the veal. 1.1200 0.04642 50 44 6 0
6699 Tell me you survived 2020 without telling me you survived 2020. 1.1200 0.04642 50 44 6 0
6700 You can stop, our foods about to arrive 1.1200 0.05451 50 45 4 1
6701 Still making 82 cents for every dollar he makes. 1.1200 0.04642 50 44 6 0
6702 Yes! It is easier without a Mask! 1.1194 0.03991 67 59 8 0
6703 I told you I didn't lie in my profile. 1.1194 0.03991 67 59 8 0
6704 It's easier than juggling our budget 1.1194 0.04523 67 60 6 1
6705 What do you think we should grab for dinner? 1.1194 0.03991 67 59 8 0
6706 Look, do you want supper or not? That woman over there is singing, for goodness sake! 1.1194 0.04523 67 60 6 1
6707 Welcome to the 8 o'clock news 1.1194 0.04523 67 60 6 1
6708 You’re right honey, your self-confidence coaches, workshops, memberships, retreats, and journals are really paying off.. 1.1194 0.04523 67 60 6 1
6709 I wonder if she’s also a good cook… 1.1194 0.04523 67 60 6 1
6710 Being a working mother during COVID has really diminished my ability to relax. 1.1190 0.05058 42 37 5 0
6711 I definitely want children, hopefully that’s not a big problem. 1.1190 0.06099 42 38 3 1
6712 So, you asked me if I will be able to keep working after we have kids... 1.1190 0.05058 42 37 5 0
6713 Please put on the helmet 1.1190 0.05058 42 37 5 0
6714 I saw on the dating site that you toyed with your food, but I can see that was a misleading understatement. 1.1186 0.04886 59 53 5 1
6715 Welcome the Cirque de Soleil Cafe. 1.1186 0.04246 59 52 7 0
6716 Honey, I think you misunderstood when I said we need a side hustle. A Side Show is a completely different situation! 1.1186 0.04886 59 53 5 1
6717 It keeps me from being bored while I wait for my dinner. 1.1186 0.04886 59 53 5 1
6718 Which one would you like me to drop on you first? 1.1186 0.04886 59 53 5 1
6719 Pretty impressive for a first date. 1.1186 0.04246 59 52 7 0
6720 Juggling deadly objects on a unicycle is the easiest thing I do. What have you got? 1.1186 0.04886 59 53 5 1
6721 And to top off this dangerous act, I perform in a busy restaurant… maskless! 1.1186 0.04886 59 53 5 1
6722 And I still can't get your attention? 1.1186 0.04246 59 52 7 0
6723 Juggling has really helped me overcome my shyness. 1.1186 0.04246 59 52 7 0
6724 Ok. Ok. Ok. So I wasn’t entirely truthful in my Tinder profile when describing my interests. I didn’t want to come across as some kind of wierdo.. 1.1186 0.04246 59 52 7 0
6725 I’m only as good as my last toss, and that’s going straight for the juggler! 1.1186 0.04886 59 53 5 1
6726 ... and in conclusion, that's why I think I'm the best choice for your next relationship! 1.1186 0.04886 59 53 5 1
6727 i just wanted to eat 1.1186 0.04246 59 52 7 0
6728 This is my first Tinder date since Covid. 1.1186 0.04246 59 52 7 0
6729 Would you like a side of fries with that? 1.1186 0.04886 59 53 5 1
6730 I just want to do something easier than staying home with the kids. 1.1186 0.04246 59 52 7 0
6731 This is how I avoid splitting the bill. 1.1186 0.04886 59 53 5 1
6732 The babysitter just called. 1.1184 0.04175 76 68 7 1
6733 So you’re saying you “saw” a “bowl” of soup on the menu and you’d like it “hot” and to “go”, right? 1.1184 0.03731 76 67 9 0
6734 I get this is western hibachi, but where is the food? 1.1184 0.03731 76 67 9 0
6735 Just answer the question: Have you been vaccinated? 1.1176 0.05348 51 46 4 1
6736 This should get the conversation rolling. 1.1176 0.04556 51 45 6 0
6737 If I were risk-averse I'd do this on the floor. 1.1176 0.04556 51 45 6 0
6738 It’s the only way to get a waiter. 1.1176 0.04556 51 45 6 0
6739 Since you didn't get the analogy, I thought this demonstration might help. BTW...you're buying! 1.1176 0.04556 51 45 6 0
6740 I really don't mind if dinner is a little late tonight. 1.1176 0.03936 68 60 8 0
6741 Meal - $25 Entertainment Package - $150 1.1176 0.04459 68 61 6 1
6742 Never Saw That Before! 1.1176 0.03936 68 60 8 0
6743 This will get the waiter's attention. 1.1176 0.04556 51 45 6 0
6744 Don't worry - your aunt on Facebook said this is totally safe 1.1176 0.06037 51 47 2 2
6745 This what going on a date with you is like 1.1176 0.04556 51 45 6 0
6746 Would you like to see our gluten free menu? 1.1176 0.05348 51 46 4 1
6747 Really? A clown show? 1.1176 0.04556 51 45 6 0
6748 Not getting the vaccine. Too dangerous. 1.1176 0.04556 51 45 6 0
6749 Thanks for being so vulnerable with me 1.1176 0.06037 51 47 2 2
6750 This is nothing; I have quints at home! 1.1176 0.04556 51 45 6 0
6751 I'm trying to diversify. 1.1176 0.04556 51 45 6 0
6752 As you can see, i never sing for my supper! 1.1176 0.04556 51 45 6 0
6753 At least I am not on my cell phone ... or am I? 1.1176 0.03936 68 60 8 0
6754 Did you say you picked up the kids from school once? 1.1176 0.05348 51 46 4 1
6755 Next date, virtual” 1.1176 0.04556 51 45 6 0
6756 If you think this is bad, you should see my side hustle 1.1176 0.04459 68 61 6 1
6757 It is so hard to be a man in these days… you know?….Now, tell me about yourself 1.1176 0.04556 51 45 6 0
6758 So this is what you meant by ‘eccentric’. 1.1176 0.05348 51 46 4 1
6759 Honey you do so much. Just don’t blame me if something goes wrong. 1.1176 0.05348 51 46 4 1
6760 Sonya, my pandemic juggling coach, says I’ve got this... 1.1176 0.04556 51 45 6 0
6761 Just remember, I’m here to support you. 1.1176 0.03936 68 60 8 0
6762 Babe you forgot to bring my glasses. 1.1176 0.05348 51 46 4 1
6763 Alice, this is not exactly the balance in our lifes i was talking about 1.1176 0.04927 68 62 4 2
6764 I had to juggle a few things to make our dinner date 1.1169 0.04519 77 70 5 2
6765 Beats washing dishes...Next time, don't forget your wallet. 1.1167 0.04808 60 54 5 1
6766 I'm sorry Joe, I just really can't juggle a love life as well right now" 1.1167 0.04179 60 53 7 0
6767 So much for your fish photo! 1.1167 0.04808 60 54 5 1
6768 Oh this is nothing. The kids, job and my dating profile are much harder. 1.1167 0.04808 60 54 5 1
6769 Of course I'm vaccinated! 1.1167 0.04808 60 54 5 1
6770 You need to juggle FIVE objects to be elected! 1.1167 0.04179 60 53 7 0
6771 Do you see now why everything about our relationship is still up in the air? 1.1167 0.04808 60 54 5 1
6772 Momma told me dating again could be a real circus. 1.1167 0.04179 60 53 7 0
6773 It’s much easier on a full stomach. 1.1167 0.05363 60 55 3 2
6774 Hey, you’re the one who asked how I juggle it all. 1.1167 0.04179 60 53 7 0
6775 And you can focus on ordering us a balanced meal 1.1167 0.04808 60 54 5 1
6776 But do you find you're able to balance the demands of a job outside the home with your duties as a mother? 1.1167 0.04179 60 53 7 0
6777 Not to worry, Randy. It's the same as the flu. 1.1167 0.04179 60 53 7 0
6778 When meeting first time on a date: So you are for keeps. What are your other talents? 1.1167 0.04179 60 53 7 0
6779 I guess this is what they call a “balanced” diet. 1.1167 0.04808 60 54 5 1
6780 Ok Jeff, so Ima catch, right? RIIIGHT?!? 1.1167 0.04808 60 54 5 1
6781 …but did you get an A in Topology? 1.1167 0.04179 60 53 7 0
6782 As you can see Mark, it’s not me, it’s you. 1.1167 0.04179 60 53 7 0
6783 I thought my pandemic hobby should reflect a little of how the world feels right now. 1.1167 0.05363 60 55 3 2
6784 In fairness, I did ask for the special at a carnival restaurant 1.1167 0.04808 60 54 5 1
6785 So then I started multi tasking and not I am never bored 1.1167 0.04179 60 53 7 0
6786 Even the bowling ball is impressed 1.1167 0.04808 60 54 5 1
6787 They weren't kidding - this dating app really was designed to be deleted 1.1163 0.03850 86 77 8 1
6788 So if you can do this..I'll consider you as a potential life partner 1.1163 0.04946 43 38 5 0
6789 Trust me, I already tried that 1.1163 0.05962 43 39 3 1
6790 If you can play the xylophone part to Sabre Dance, I'm a pushover. 1.1163 0.04946 43 38 5 0
6791 We’re still not going with your parents over the weekend. 1.1163 0.04946 43 38 5 0
6792 So your profile said you were looking for someone fun and balanced who knows how to let things go… 1.1163 0.04946 43 38 5 0
6793 You want me to balance your budget? I'm not that kind of financial expert. 1.1159 0.04858 69 63 4 2
6794 Even when you hand me all 3 at once I can do it. 1.1159 0.03882 69 61 8 0
6795 When the food’s nothing special we have to find something to balance out the dining experience. 1.1159 0.03882 69 61 8 0
6796 Shoot now!! I need a better profile pic! 1.1159 0.04397 69 62 6 1
6797 Your dating profile said you like hiking. 1.1159 0.03882 69 61 8 0
6798 Sorry. I'm not looking for a commitment. I'm still finding myself from a bad breakup. Don't take it personally but I'd like to play it safe for now. 1.1154 0.05249 52 47 4 1
6799 If you think this is dangerous wait until you see me juggle all the vaccines! 1.1154 0.04474 52 46 6 0
6800 Sheesh..I remember when singing was enough. 1.1154 0.04474 52 46 6 0
6801 why do we need a Nanny?" 1.1154 0.04474 52 46 6 0
6802 The regular wait crew still hasn’t come back to work. 1.1154 0.04474 52 46 6 0
6803 Don't worry - I've done this dozens of times and only dropped the saw once. 1.1154 0.05249 52 47 4 1
6804 I'm looking for someone who balances me. 1.1154 0.05249 52 47 4 1
6805 First Date: Felicia demonstrates skills learned over pandemic 1.1154 0.05249 52 47 4 1
6806 During the pandemic,I focused on mastering the Carny arts. 1.1154 0.05249 52 47 4 1
6807 Will there be anything else? We aim to please. 1.1154 0.05249 52 47 4 1
6808 I bet no one else on Hinge can do this. 1.1154 0.05249 52 47 4 1
6809 Diversity is good, right? 1.1154 0.04474 52 46 6 0
6810 I miss our pre=pandemic dinners! 1.1154 0.05249 52 47 4 1
6811 When they rehired, they said bring any skills you learnt during the pandemic closure with you. 1.1154 0.05249 52 47 4 1
6812 You should be happy, I use to juggle men. 1.1154 0.04474 52 46 6 0
6813 « Honey, not on the table for God’s sake » 1.1154 0.05249 52 47 4 1
6814 You’ll notice that our table side Bananas Foster is a little different. 1.1154 0.04474 52 46 6 0
6815 Ah, CircusMingle.com was a literal thing 1.1154 0.04474 52 46 6 0
6816 I can hold up the fire and the saw and the ball, but that is not all. Oh no that is not all. 1.1154 0.04474 52 46 6 0
6817 I still don't see why you can't come back to the office 1.1154 0.05249 52 47 4 1
6818 Is there anything I can help with? Just say the word! 1.1154 0.04474 52 46 6 0
6819 But...You're not smiling, that kind of poor customer service is really going to impact your tip. 1.1154 0.05249 52 47 4 1
6820 I hope this Bumble doesn’t fumble 1.1154 0.04474 52 46 6 0
6821 Does my pandemic isolation induced hobbies dazzle you? Are you not entertained? 1.1154 0.04474 52 46 6 0
6822 and that's why I'd make a perfect Mom 1.1154 0.04474 52 46 6 0
6823 As this is our first date, I let you choose this time which one you catch to juggle…. 1.1154 0.04474 52 46 6 0
6824 When you said you could juggle many things at once, I didn’t expect it to be so literal. 1.1154 0.05249 52 47 4 1
6825 Quick, get it for the Gram! 1.1154 0.05249 52 47 4 1
6826 It’s both exhilarating and dangerous. 1.1148 0.04115 61 54 7 0
6827 And this is just " the appetizer " !! 1.1148 0.04115 61 54 7 0
6828 Well there is the high probability of large life insurance payout. 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
6829 Sorry if I’m not enough for you 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
6830 Ready to catch the saw? 1.1148 0.04115 61 54 7 0
6831 But wait! Next up!? TUNA CASSEROLE! 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
6832 Toss me that glass. Let's make this interesting. 1.1148 0.04115 61 54 7 0
6833 A gold medal at the next olympics in 'bicycle-juggling' is for sure. 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
6834 What did you learn in lock down? 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
6835 Phone-free mealtime is so liberating. 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
6836 I told you I could do it 1.1148 0.04115 61 54 7 0
6837 I would have mentioned this in your profile instead of repeating “Live Laugh Love”. 1.1148 0.04115 61 54 7 0
6838 I'm a teacher, what do you do? 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
6839 Can I have my food yet…? 1.1148 0.04115 61 54 7 0
6840 Clearly I have the skills to be a mother. 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
6841 Go on,finish telling me about your day. I can multi-task 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
6842 Tell me- am I like my online profile? 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
6843 My profile said juggling, NOT jiggling! 1.1148 0.04115 61 54 7 0
6844 Until they have their cabaret license, it’s bring you’re own entertainment. 1.1148 0.04115 61 54 7 0
6845 See now, honey??? It’s not so difficult to dine sans phones, n’est pas?! 1.1148 0.05278 61 56 3 2
6846 Huh. My hobbies are doom scrolling and the food network. 1.1148 0.05278 61 56 3 2
6847 Gee Sally, you’d make a great mom! 1.1148 0.04115 61 54 7 0
6848 This is a man's world 1.1148 0.04115 61 54 7 0
6849 Seriously? Do you have to be dramatic with the dinner too, darling? 1.1148 0.04115 61 54 7 0
6850 It's called "saw the fire ball." 1.1143 0.03830 70 62 8 0
6851 Sorry, you'll just have to get your own ice cubes. 1.1143 0.04337 70 63 6 1
6852 At speed dating event: “My hobbies are bowling and biking… and I great with multitasking!” 1.1143 0.04337 70 63 6 1
6853 Voiceover: *Yep. That's me. You're probably wondering how I ended up here.* 1.1136 0.05831 44 40 3 1
6854 And now it's time for the talent competition! 1.1136 0.04840 44 39 5 0
6855 After 18 months in the apartment together, if this is what I have to do to keep our relationship interesting, I'll do it! 1.1136 0.04840 44 39 5 0
6856 After working from home, home schooling and disinfecting, this is easy. 1.1136 0.04840 44 39 5 0
6857 So this is what you have been working on during our trial separation! 1.1136 0.04840 44 39 5 0
6858 I call this routine “a day in the life of the upstairs neighbor” 1.1136 0.04840 44 39 5 0
6859 I'm a big believer in first impressions. 1.1132 0.05154 53 48 4 1
6860 Beats speed-dating, doesn’t it? 1.1132 0.04394 53 47 6 0
6861 … and the bowling ball represents my work commitments. So anyway, I think we should just be friends. 1.1132 0.05154 53 48 4 1
6862 If you really love me you'll kiss me right now! 1.1132 0.05154 53 48 4 1
6863 I really should have been working on my novel. 1.1132 0.04394 53 47 6 0
6864 Let’s see what happens after two drinks… 1.1132 0.04394 53 47 6 0
6865 Toss me the box that is marked IBPG 1.1132 0.05154 53 48 4 1
6866 Sorry, took a little too much speed before this speed date. 1.1132 0.05815 53 49 2 2
6867 I call it my 'ready for children' routine..... 1.1132 0.05154 53 48 4 1
6868 I should have clarified when I said I was looking for a freak. 1.1132 0.05154 53 48 4 1
6869 Don't worry, I've seen this done before. 1.1132 0.04394 53 47 6 0
6870 At least I made your sleeve smile. 1.1132 0.04394 53 47 6 0
6871 Silly me ! I said do you do tricks ? 1.1132 0.05154 53 48 4 1
6872 I always say, 'Live dangerously.' 1.1132 0.05154 53 48 4 1
6873 I told you I do tricks! 1.1132 0.05154 53 48 4 1
6874 Would you like Ketchup with that? 1.1132 0.05154 53 48 4 1
6875 This is easier than distance learning. 1.1132 0.04394 53 47 6 0
6876 I think I’ll be fine with just six weeks of maternity leave. 1.1132 0.04394 53 47 6 0
6877 And now to the dysfunctional side of the family. 1.1132 0.04394 53 47 6 0
6878 With a couple of tassels you’d be a knockout ! 1.1132 0.04394 53 47 6 0
6879 Risk is a matter of personal choice. 1.1132 0.05154 53 48 4 1
6880 Are your eyes brown or hazel? 1.1132 0.05154 53 48 4 1
6881 'Like I said in my bio, I'm willing to try anything.' 1.1132 0.05154 53 48 4 1
6882 Da da da da da daaaa, if I don't like the size of your tip, my chainsaw just might happen to slip! 1.1132 0.04394 53 47 6 0
6883 When the clowns return, we'll be ready. 1.1132 0.04394 53 47 6 0
6884 Cuddling? I thought your profile said “juggling!” 1.1132 0.04394 53 47 6 0
6885 Compared to teaching the kids during COVID this is a piece of cake 1.1132 0.04394 53 47 6 0
6886 …I still don’t understand the danger of not getting the vaccine 1.1132 0.05154 53 48 4 1
6887 Can we drop the act and just have a conversation!! I am exhausted, you know!!!! 1.1132 0.05154 53 48 4 1
6888 This is what I have to do to get the waiter’s attention.” -waits for check 1.1132 0.05154 53 48 4 1
6889 Darling I’m glad we finally scheduled a date night out but why the juggling? I’m just trying to show you all I do around the house to make you finally understand! Do you understand now? 1.1132 0.04394 53 47 6 0
6890 So anyway, if we end up together you can just toss your responsibilities in here too no problem. 1.1132 0.04394 53 47 6 0
6891 See, honey? Work-Life balance it's not difficult at all 1.1132 0.05154 53 48 4 1
6892 Being a mum sure has its perks 1.1132 0.04394 53 47 6 0
6893 Teacher moms preparing for another school year during a pandemic. 1.1132 0.05154 53 48 4 1
6894 Did you say refills are free? 1.1132 0.04394 53 47 6 0
6895 Wow, I guess she wasn't lying on her Tinder profile. 1.1132 0.05154 53 48 4 1
6896 See! I told you women can multitask 1.1132 0.04394 53 47 6 0
6897 I’ve got skills. 1.1129 0.04659 62 56 5 1
6898 Dinner and a show - At Home Covid edition. 1.1129 0.04659 62 56 5 1
6899 It's what I do all day. Now toss me that dirty glass. 1.1129 0.04659 62 56 5 1
6900 I used to wear high heels! 1.1129 0.05196 62 57 3 2
6901 Would you like to re-open your man 1.1129 0.04052 62 55 7 0
6902 With supplies being delayed due to Covid, we have to do this to tenderize, cook, and then cut your steak -- once it finally gets here. 1.1129 0.05196 62 57 3 2
6903 I said I didn't need to see the specials. 1.1129 0.04659 62 56 5 1
6904 And then he tells me he doesn't want a second date because he's more of a fondue guy." 1.1129 0.04052 62 55 7 0
6905 I try to impress on the first date! Hugh Wallace Oyster Bay, NY 1.1129 0.04052 62 55 7 0
6906 Enjoy your drink—I said ‘juggling,’ not ‘jugular.’ 1.1129 0.04052 62 55 7 0
6907 Stick, ball, chain. Stick, ball, chain. 1.1129 0.04052 62 55 7 0
6908 Now, I'm ready for a baby. 1.1129 0.04659 62 56 5 1
6909 No, Seymour, I learned this by being a mother, a wife, a daughter, and a sister, all at the same time. 1.1129 0.04659 62 56 5 1
6910 Just don’t ask me to kill a spider. 1.1129 0.04659 62 56 5 1
6911 trying a balanced diet but I can only take the whole glass half full act so far. 1.1129 0.04052 62 55 7 0
6912 I can’t remember the last time she shaved her legs. 1.1129 0.04659 62 56 5 1
6913 Entertainment does not count as a tip Susan! 1.1129 0.04052 62 55 7 0
6914 This is a great time to tell her about my startup. 1.1129 0.04052 62 55 7 0
6915 Honey, you know we can get our Amazon prime delivered to home, right? 1.1129 0.04052 62 55 7 0
6916 so i picked up a few new hobbies durning quarantine 😵‍💫 1.1129 0.04659 62 56 5 1
6917 So how way your day, honey. 1.1127 0.04726 71 65 4 2
6918 It gets views, likes, and follows but they just don't stan. 1.1127 0.03779 71 63 8 0
6919 Don’t worry it’s called polywork! 1.1127 0.04279 71 64 6 1
6920 Circusworld Restaurant has new entertainment weekly. Come back next week for the Clown Car Extravaganza! 1.1111 0.05062 54 49 4 1
6921 next week a bomb will replace the ball. l d soderlind mpls mn 1.1111 0.04738 45 40 5 0
6922 You'll do anything to get attention! 1.1111 0.04738 45 40 5 0
6923 Pandemic’s not over yet, put your mask back on. 1.1111 0.05062 54 49 4 1
6924 The problem is, I never really figured out how to end the performance. 1.1111 0.03730 72 64 8 0
6925 Arrogant pricks are a piece o’ cake. 1.1111 0.05116 63 58 3 2
6926 Hi, My name is Barb and I’ll be your server tonight. 1.1111 0.04317 54 48 6 0
6927 Look--no gloves! 1.1111 0.04317 54 48 6 0
6928 Since childhood this has been my way of dealing with unbearable boredom. 1.1111 0.04317 54 48 6 0
6929 I'm a little co-dependent and I really really want you to like me. 1.1111 0.04738 45 40 5 0
6930 Oh, so your other girlfriend can do kinky sex? 1.1111 0.04317 54 48 6 0
6931 So, I had to find new things to occupy myself during the pandemic... 1.1111 0.05062 54 49 4 1
6932 Next time we will sit down hungry. 1.1111 0.05062 54 49 4 1
6933 Now imagine you’re Earth... 1.1111 0.03991 63 56 7 0
6934 Adding a child to all this seems like a bad idea right now. 1.1111 0.05705 45 41 3 1
6935 Honey, your quarantine hobbies are getting out of hand. 1.1111 0.04588 63 57 5 1
6936 Your dating profile said you enjoy the circus . . . . and danger. 1.1111 0.04738 45 40 5 0
6937 It’s trauma therapy. I’ve been hurt by one each of these during a break up. 1.1111 0.05062 54 49 4 1
6938 And now I need to get to work... 1.1111 0.04317 54 48 6 0
6939 My hands are kinda full. Can you give me a sip of water? 1.1111 0.05711 54 50 2 2
6940 My therapist told me to focus on risky behaviors. 1.1111 0.03991 63 56 7 0
6941 Next I will juggle this job with raising my family and caring for my parents! 1.1111 0.04738 45 40 5 0
6942 I'm very introverted. 1.1111 0.04317 54 48 6 0
6943 Full time mom,part time hustler 1.1111 0.04317 54 48 6 0
6944 For your part, just say along with me “rock, paper, scissors, shoot”! 1.1111 0.04222 72 65 6 1
6945 The hardest one is the ball. My hands are small and there is no handle to grab. 1.1111 0.04588 63 57 5 1
6946 …PhD physicist, cordon bleu chef. Will that do? 1.1111 0.04317 54 48 6 0
6947 ''What do you think of my kitchen abilities now ?'' 1.1111 0.03991 63 56 7 0
6948 Hi, I'm Brenda, nice to meet you 1.1111 0.04317 54 48 6 0
6949 I picked this up during my study abroad program. 1.1111 0.04317 54 48 6 0
6950 First Date Desire to Impress 1.1111 0.04588 63 57 5 1
6951 I'd say two boys and two girls would be great! 1.1111 0.05062 54 49 4 1
6952 Self defence is a girl’s best friend 1.1111 0.05062 54 49 4 1
6953 And you accused me of wasting my time during the pandemic! 1.1111 0.04588 63 57 5 1
6954 But enough about me. How was your day? 1.1111 0.04317 54 48 6 0
6955 Is it okay if my resume is live? 1.1111 0.03991 63 56 7 0
6956 I’m 84% impressed 1.1111 0.04317 54 48 6 0
6957 Just a regular day for mom…and dad. 1.1111 0.05711 54 50 2 2
6958 #momlyfebelike 1.1111 0.04317 54 48 6 0
6959 I learned a lot during quarantine 1.1111 0.04317 54 48 6 0
6960 I'll break the glass ceiling yet. 1.1111 0.03991 63 56 7 0
6961 My therapist said it would be good for me to learn a new skill 1.1111 0.05062 54 49 4 1
6962 How’d you guessed I learnt this skill during the lockdown? 1.1111 0.04738 45 40 5 0
6963 This is not what I imagined when you said you wanted to talk. 1.1111 0.03991 63 56 7 0
6964 I had just a bit too much spare time during the lockdown 1.1111 0.03991 63 56 7 0
6965 I know you wanted fries with that, but they're too hard to juggle. 1.1096 0.04600 73 67 4 2
6966 Well, my profile said "adventurous eater". 1.1096 0.04600 73 67 4 2
6967 I taught myself during COVID - it's a real icebreaker on first dates. 1.1096 0.03681 73 65 8 0
6968 Can you throw me that glass? I just thought about climate change again. 1.1096 0.04600 73 67 4 2
6969 I do the emotional labor too. 1.1094 0.03932 64 57 7 0
6970 That’s not what I meant about your skill set . 1.1094 0.03932 64 57 7 0
6971 I'll win gold if they buy my event idea. 1.1094 0.03932 64 57 7 0
6972 I feel it’s important to make a good first impression on a blind date! 1.1094 0.03932 64 57 7 0
6973 Your dating profile said you juggle lots of stuff, I guess I was wrong about finding my soul-mate. 1.1094 0.03932 64 57 7 0
6974 I thought you said you'd juggle your schedule. 1.1094 0.03932 64 57 7 0
6975 It makes more sense on Hinge 1.1094 0.04519 64 58 5 1
6976 I thought this was going to be the usual first date “interview”. I didn’t realize it was an audition! 1.1094 0.03932 64 57 7 0
6977 -"In my head these are your family plans and my professional career". . 1.1094 0.03932 64 57 7 0
6978 Juggle me deadly or perhaps kill me softly😂 1.1094 0.05038 64 59 3 2
6979 Bradley was bemused by Hannah’s hobby that she didn’t share on Tinder 1.1094 0.04519 64 58 5 1
6980 I’m sorry but I actually ordered the Chicken Fingers. 1.1094 0.03932 64 57 7 0
6981 ‘I figure I might as well try these hobbies out now while things couldn’t get any worse’ 1.1094 0.03932 64 57 7 0
6982 I traveled a lot as a kid. 1.1091 0.04242 55 49 6 0
6983 Next time, just tell me what your hobbies are instead of showing me. 1.1091 0.04242 55 49 6 0
6984 I guess that she has children. 1.1091 0.04242 55 49 6 0
6985 Let's see you meditate your way out of this one. 1.1091 0.04973 55 50 4 1
6986 Well, you did you say you’ve been juggling dates So what do you do for fun 1.1091 0.04973 55 50 4 1
6987 I had to quit my job trying to convince Fox News viewers to get vaccinated because it was way too hard. 1.1091 0.04242 55 49 6 0
6988 Can't be any worse than the chance of catching Covid here. 1.1091 0.04973 55 50 4 1
6989 I was going to try this with my hands tied, but I thought it might be a little risky. 1.1091 0.04973 55 50 4 1
6990 Boring? Why, no, I love hearing about your high school chess club presidency. 1.1091 0.04242 55 49 6 0
6991 Service here is slow, but I try to make productive use of the wait time. 1.1091 0.04242 55 49 6 0
6992 I manage, thanks. And how are you at juggling relationships, work and relaxation? 1.1091 0.04242 55 49 6 0
6993 I don’t know how I let it get this far- I only needed to send one quick email 1.1091 0.04242 55 49 6 0
6994 Not exactly what I meant when I suggested we add some spice to our meals. 1.1091 0.04242 55 49 6 0
6995 I can't make dinner tonight I'm a tad busy. 1.1091 0.04242 55 49 6 0
6996 'Don't you think you're taking social distancing a bit too far?' 1.1091 0.04242 55 49 6 0
6997 A little about me. My parents were both clowns in the circus. 1.1091 0.04973 55 50 4 1
6998 Being a working mom in 2020 1.1091 0.04242 55 49 6 0
6999 How can I help you to get down safely? 1.1091 0.04242 55 49 6 0
7000 Being impressive on a first date is great, but it can be tough to out-do yourself on the second date. 1.1091 0.04242 55 49 6 0
7001 I guess that if I was to sum myself up, I’d say that I’m an odd sort of multipotentialite 1.1091 0.04242 55 49 6 0
7002 Okay! I should've believed you. Come down now, the kid wants his unicycle back. 1.1091 0.04973 55 50 4 1
7003 It was either pandemic pod planning or this. 1.1091 0.05609 55 51 2 2
7004 And now for my finale I will backflip and catch 'em all... hopefully. 1.1087 0.04640 46 41 5 0
7005 Ok, yeah, but you should check out this new workout app I found. 1.1087 0.05585 46 42 3 1
7006 I won't be taking care of you. They're watching me demonstrate I really can multitask. 1.1087 0.04640 46 41 5 0
7007 When did you last hear from Mrs. Elephant? 1.1087 0.04640 46 41 5 0
7008 Do you have separation issues? 1.1087 0.04640 46 41 5 0
7009 honey, why don't you check your phone instead? 1.1087 0.04640 46 41 5 0
7010 Stop dancing on the table. 1.1081 0.03634 74 66 8 0
7011 Jan never understands my metaphors for tackling climate change. 1.1081 0.04112 74 67 6 1
7012 You can probably safely skip the Covid shot, Miss. 1.1077 0.03875 65 58 7 0
7013 It was either this or dine and ditch. 1.1077 0.04452 65 59 5 1
7014 I bet you thought your blind date would lack talent! 1.1077 0.04963 65 60 3 2
7015 Your ambivalence brings out the best in me” 1.1077 0.04452 65 59 5 1
7016 However, I never won the national spelling bee” 1.1077 0.03875 65 58 7 0
7017 Little did Kate know, Bob didn’t even have to audition for a seat at this table. 1.1077 0.04452 65 59 5 1
7018 You guys have no idea what it takes to pee! 1.1071 0.04171 56 50 6 0
7019 Our specials tonight include leg of Dumbo, Lobster Boy claws, and conjoined chicken breasts. 1.1071 0.04887 56 51 4 1
7020 Think of yourself as being between the chain saw and the mop. 1.1071 0.04171 56 50 6 0
7021 Since we agreed on no children, I'm channeling my multi-tasking parenting abilities in other ways. 1.1071 0.04171 56 50 6 0
7022 I've heard that first dates tend to be performative. I can virtue signal, too, if you'd prefer. 1.1071 0.04171 56 50 6 0
7023 Don’t worry, our relationship is solid. 1.1071 0.04171 56 50 6 0
7024 The table gives me a better view to keep an eye on the kids. 1.1071 0.04171 56 50 6 0
7025 pick one dad 1.1071 0.04887 56 51 4 1
7026 I lose one every now and then! 1.1071 0.04887 56 51 4 1
7027 Now pass the salt and pepper, one at a time!” Terry Shotland, Longmeadow, Ma. 1.1071 0.04171 56 50 6 0
7028 And now i'll tell you 1.1071 0.04171 56 50 6 0
7029 No sir, this is just the entertainment portion of your Circus Circus total dining experience. 1.1071 0.04887 56 51 4 1
7030 Albert Einstein's first date. 1.1071 0.04171 56 50 6 0
7031 For the first time, Stingy Steve finally felt obligated to tip a full 15% 1.1071 0.04171 56 50 6 0
7032 I can do it with oranges... what's your point? 1.1071 0.04887 56 51 4 1
7033 Is there anything else we can do for you today, sir? 1.1071 0.04887 56 51 4 1
7034 I’m sure the food will be here soon 1.1071 0.04171 56 50 6 0
7035 The MLA Interview 1.1071 0.04171 56 50 6 0
7036 It didn't say anything about trying this at your home" 1.1071 0.05512 56 52 2 2
7037 It's the new trick I've been perfecting to entertain the kids during the impending Delta variant lockdown. 1.1071 0.04171 56 50 6 0
7038 'I just hate the expression "too many balls in the air" so I changed up my repertoire' 1.1071 0.05512 56 52 2 2
7039 I'm juggling risks of life . Any help ? 1.1071 0.04887 56 51 4 1
7040 Does this answer your question about my work-life balance abilities? 1.1067 0.03588 75 67 8 0
7041 Sure honey, plenty of time. I can drop you shirts at the cleaners. 1.1067 0.04060 75 68 6 1
7042 So, you like bowling? 1.1067 0.04482 75 69 4 2
7043 Yeah, this is my first dahe after lockdown... 1.1067 0.03588 75 67 8 0
7044 You know notting! 1.1064 0.04546 47 42 5 0
7045 I can do this with relationships, as well. 1.1064 0.04546 47 42 5 0
7046 I said "bread and butter," not "chainsaw juggler." 1.1064 0.05470 47 43 3 1
7047 so what would you like for dinner ? 1.1064 0.04546 47 42 5 0
7048 When was the last time you dated? 1.1064 0.04546 47 42 5 0
7049 I only had 45 characters on match.com 1.1064 0.04546 47 42 5 0
7050 And our special today is delicately scorched head, sliced ultrathin. 1.1064 0.05470 47 43 3 1
7051 Please tip wisely! 1.1064 0.05470 47 43 3 1
7052 No, I said, do you like the jungle? 1.1064 0.05470 47 43 3 1
7053 2032: Human mating behaviour post lockdown #767 can be distinguished by its unique confluence of emergency and self-care kink. 1.1064 0.04546 47 42 5 0
7054 Because the circus was cancelled. 1.1064 0.05470 47 43 3 1
7055 But in case you were wondering, I'm not into having kids. 1.1061 0.03819 66 59 7 0
7056 I'm trying to restore that sense of restaurant danger! 1.1061 0.03819 66 59 7 0
7057 It's a bit of a balancing act but once the meat arrives, I can tenderize it, charbroil it and, cut it for you all right here at the table! 1.1061 0.04387 66 60 5 1
7058 Well, Hon, that's a novel way to get the waitstaff's attention! 1.1061 0.03819 66 59 7 0
7059 And the grand marnier souflle will be ready in 10 1.1061 0.04387 66 60 5 1
7060 So you see I got a head start on renovating 1.1061 0.03819 66 59 7 0
7061 And I don’t mention marriage for the first three dates! 1.1061 0.04387 66 60 5 1
7062 Try to get the waiter’s attention next time you see him. 1.1053 0.04805 57 52 4 1
7063 I’m second only to Jen Psaki at juggling policy positions, but I’m way better than she is with chainsaws and shit! 1.1053 0.06299 38 35 2 1
7064 Honey.. Hibachi is an art, not a death wish. 1.1053 0.04101 57 51 6 0
7065 I, unlike your mother, am glad you didn't rack up debt pursuing a bachelor's degree. 1.1053 0.04805 57 52 4 1
7066 Oh! You want more quality time? 1.1053 0.04805 57 52 4 1
7067 You go girl ! 1.1053 0.04805 57 52 4 1
7068 Can you please hand me my drink? Ira Ross, California 1.1053 0.04101 57 51 6 0
7069 And this is just maternity leave 1.1053 0.04101 57 51 6 0
7070 I call this "The first date." The tenth date only involves the bowling ball. 1.1053 0.04805 57 52 4 1
7071 Just tell me your order,you don’t expect me to be able to write it down,do you? 1.1053 0.04101 57 51 6 0
7072 Just 5 minutes a day and you can drop 40 pounds in a week. Summer is nearly over, Jeff! 1.1053 0.04101 57 51 6 0
7073 This is what juggling marriage, children and a career feels like! Anita Barlow, Edmond, Oklahoma 1.1053 0.04805 57 52 4 1
7074 And what new skills have you learned during the pandemic? 1.1053 0.04805 57 52 4 1
7075 So what did you have to do to get here, Owen? 1.1053 0.04101 57 51 6 0
7076 Yes, delays in the kitchen. 1.1053 0.04101 57 51 6 0
7077 Did you really have to use a gasoline chainsaw? 1.1053 0.04101 57 51 6 0
7078 Do you want to try one. It's listed on the last page of your menu 1.1053 0.04101 57 51 6 0
7079 It's the old L.A. cliche: I'm just waiting tables until my big break in the circus business. 1.1053 0.04805 57 52 4 1
7080 I got all this from the middle aisle at Lidl 1.1053 0.04101 57 51 6 0
7081 When "putting yourself out there" goes horribly wrong. 1.1053 0.05045 38 34 4 0
7082 …so yeah, that’s when I realized this bet with your mother might have had ulterior motives. 1.1053 0.04101 57 51 6 0
7083 « This pandemic has totally changed the dating scene » 1.1053 0.04101 57 51 6 0
7084 Ronald, face it, compared to me you are indeed a very boring person! 1.1053 0.04805 57 52 4 1
7085 Well, they said the staff went the extra mile on birthdays...... 1.1053 0.04101 57 51 6 0
7086 In my spare time I practice my multitasking. 1.1053 0.04101 57 51 6 0
7087 And to think, this still isn’t as dangerous as not getting vaccinated! 1.1053 0.04101 57 51 6 0
7088 hunny you gotta go back to work. 1.1053 0.04101 57 51 6 0
7089 Whoa - dinner and a show ? 1.1045 0.04324 67 61 5 1
7090 I call this trick, “The Bobbitt”.” Douglas Monaghan , Floral Park, New Yor 1.1045 0.03765 67 60 7 0
7091 first date story-toppers 1.1045 0.04324 67 61 5 1
7092 I keep telling you I have a lot of things I have to juggle. 1.1045 0.04324 67 61 5 1
7093 There's a new top career--it's called "Danger Juggling. 1.1045 0.04324 67 61 5 1
7094 Ok… but what’s for dinner? 1.1045 0.03765 67 60 7 0
7095 That’s not what I had in mind when you said you were juggling a lot right now. 😅 1.1045 0.04324 67 61 5 1
7096 Oh, I don't know, marriage can be pretty risky but thank you for asking. 1.1042 0.04456 48 43 5 0
7097 Then there’s the college loans, and now my parents want me to pay rent. 1.1042 0.05359 48 44 3 1
7098 MY lockdown wasn’t dull. 1.1042 0.04456 48 43 5 0
7099 New sport in the Olympics. 1.1042 0.04456 48 43 5 0
7100 Could you hand me a glass of chardonnay? 1.1042 0.04456 48 43 5 0
7101 See - vegans can be fun. 1.1042 0.04456 48 43 5 0
7102 It's no harder than taking care of 3 kids at the same time. 1.1042 0.04456 48 43 5 0
7103 Well, you didn't say anything about having kids on your profile. 1.1042 0.04456 48 43 5 0
7104 Now you do your impression of dating in a pandemic. 1.1042 0.05359 48 44 3 1
7105 I call this one the 'Long, awkward silence'. Let's hope I don't have to perform my disappearing act: 'Said I reminded him of his mom'. 1.1042 0.04456 48 43 5 0
7106 Mary’s life was always going to be a juggling act between work and play 1.1042 0.06131 48 45 1 2
7107 Will this do for the appetizer? 1.1042 0.05359 48 44 3 1
7108 Not only can women have it all we can do it all, baby. 1.1042 0.04456 48 43 5 0
7109 This worked better in the ghost kitchen. 1.1042 0.04456 48 43 5 0
7110 No, I said cuddle. 1.1042 0.05359 48 44 3 1
7111 She could have just told me she was valedictorian of her class. 1.1042 0.04456 48 43 5 0
7112 Dating again was like riding a bike. 1.1042 0.04456 48 43 5 0
7113 I thought I ordered the halibut. 1.1042 0.05359 48 44 3 1
7114 Job interviewer:” how do you handle stress? Can you give me an example?” 1.1039 0.04369 77 71 4 2
7115 I joined the circus when I was ten. 1.1034 0.04725 58 53 4 1
7116 Oh, this part is easy. I've got the kinds Mondays and Wednesdays 1.1034 0.04034 58 52 6 0
7117 This will keep me safe from COVID 1.1034 0.04034 58 52 6 0
7118 It’s called multitasking deal with it 1.1034 0.04034 58 52 6 0
7119 Heating the food, cutting hard meat. Trying to be pragmatic, but I don´t get what is the ball for. 1.1034 0.04725 58 53 4 1
7120 I only do this with dates I want to impress with my multi-tasking skills. 1.1034 0.04034 58 52 6 0
7121 Impressive, but I still don’t want to share the grilled kale salad. 1.1034 0.04725 58 53 4 1
7122 Dinner’s ready. 1.1034 0.04034 58 52 6 0
7123 I didn't order this with my salad. 1.1034 0.05326 58 54 2 2
7124 Don't worry. I haven't practiced in five years. 1.1034 0.05326 58 54 2 2
7125 This wasn't what I was expecting when you said to expect an exciting time on our third date. 1.1034 0.04034 58 52 6 0
7126 Go ahead . . . Throw your sexual ambulance in . . . 1.1034 0.04034 58 52 6 0
7127 But I’ve ordered „eel” not „wheel…” 1.1034 0.04034 58 52 6 0
7128 That's very impressive, Jane - but that's not what I meant when I said you need to learn how to juggle your chores and hobbies. 1.1034 0.04034 58 52 6 0
7129 That’s very impressive, but do you know you’d look prettier with your hair down?” -every fucking ma 1.1034 0.04034 58 52 6 0
7130 I just getting ready for 2024 Olympics. 1.1029 0.03713 68 61 7 0
7131 I realize you've been cooped up for a long time, but can't we just enjoy our meal without multi-tasking? 1.1029 0.04263 68 62 5 1
7132 For this years 2021 Olympics they really missed out on the “I can juggle anything” competition. 1.1029 0.04263 68 62 5 1
7133 I’m preparing for a job interview and they expect you to be capable of the impossible. 1.1029 0.03713 68 61 7 0
7134 Restaurants will do anything these days to get customers! 1.1026 0.06141 39 36 2 1
7135 We are hoping that juggling makes it in the next Olympics. 1.1026 0.06141 39 36 2 1
7136 Wait until you see what the main course is! 1.1026 0.06141 39 36 2 1
7137 Which ever I drop you have to do the housework with that I usually do ! 1.1020 0.04369 49 44 5 0
7138 I have not been able to have a sustained relationship ever since I asked my dates to sign a liability release form." Lloyd Berkowitz Boca Raton, F 1.1020 0.04369 49 44 5 0
7139 There ain’t no such thing as a free circus act. 1.1020 0.04369 49 44 5 0
7140 No, literally. I learned to juggle a lot of things during the pandemic. 1.1020 0.04369 49 44 5 0
7141 Welcome to Cirque du Soleil Cafeil. 1.1020 0.05253 49 45 3 1
7142 Are you sure you don't need to write down my order? 1.1020 0.04369 49 44 5 0
7143 I just started doing this a week ago; I'm still in training. 1.1020 0.04369 49 44 5 0
7144 Real nice! Does that mean i'm buying? 1.1020 0.04369 49 44 5 0
7145 Uh, me doing this means I would love a second date. 1.1020 0.04369 49 44 5 0
7146 Paris 2024? 1.1020 0.04369 49 44 5 0
7147 Metaphorical? Of course not. Why would I be metaphorical in my Tumblr bio? 1.1020 0.05253 49 45 3 1
7148 I can sing too. Like, 'Let Me Entertain You!' 1.1020 0.04369 49 44 5 0
7149 And you thought eating inside a restaurant was playing Russian Roulette with the pandemic? You ain’t seen nothin’ yet! 1.1020 0.05253 49 45 3 1
7150 There wasn’t enough room to include THIS in my Tinder profile. 1.1020 0.04369 49 44 5 0
7151 All this and then some 1.1020 0.04369 49 44 5 0
7152 That's great, but I really just wanted some coffee. 1.1020 0.04369 49 44 5 0
7153 'The pressure we face during the 21st century: Me observing what I should have been working on during quarantine' 1.1020 0.04369 49 44 5 0
7154 I’ve learned a lot of new ways to channel my anxiety, you see; what did you do while you were working from home? 1.1020 0.05253 49 45 3 1
7155 Socially distanced, outdoor entertainment 1.1020 0.04369 49 44 5 0
7156 On the next episode of The Bachelor 1.1020 0.04369 49 44 5 0
7157 Why, yes, I am from Florida. 1.1020 0.05253 49 45 3 1
7158 I’m way past bringing home the bacon and frying it up in a pan! 1.1017 0.03969 59 53 6 0
7159 This is just something we did in gym class for excitement. Yeah sure, I lost a few friends, but nothing new after we got bored with wearing masks in 2021. 1.1017 0.03969 59 53 6 0
7160 So you're a business major? That must be pretty difficult . 1.1017 0.03969 59 53 6 0
7161 When the waiter comes, order me the tossed salad. 1.1017 0.03969 59 53 6 0
7162 No. I only do this when I hear the song 'Desert Caravan'. 1.1017 0.03969 59 53 6 0
7163 What? You thought my Match profile was fake? 1.1017 0.03969 59 53 6 0
7164 How about this? Will this help get a mortgage loan? 1.1017 0.03969 59 53 6 0
7165 Maybe this'll get our waiter's attention! 1.1017 0.03969 59 53 6 0
7166 I bet you're glad you didn't swipe left! 1.1017 0.04647 59 54 4 1
7167 Alan, I clearly have the skills to be a wife and mother. Now, what do you bring to the table? 1.1017 0.04647 59 54 4 1
7168 I refuse to wear a mask. 1.1017 0.04647 59 54 4 1
7169 Can you walk on water too? 1.1017 0.04647 59 54 4 1
7170 Sir, you are going to love our tossed salad ! 1.1017 0.04647 59 54 4 1
7171 So no menu? 1.1017 0.04647 59 54 4 1
7172 I’m a woman who can juggle life, juggling these 3 things while riding a bike is a piece of cake! 1.1017 0.03969 59 53 6 0
7173 Honey,are u going thru menopause? 1.1017 0.04647 59 54 4 1
7174 Well, for one thing, it's less risk than the charred steak they serve here. 1.1017 0.04647 59 54 4 1
7175 I used to also have an axe,but we had a split. 1.1017 0.03969 59 53 6 0
7176 How do you like me now? 1.1017 0.04647 59 54 4 1
7177 Wow, no wonder cocktails are $17 1.1017 0.04647 59 54 4 1
7178 Considering that I’m already carrying this conversation… 1.1017 0.04647 59 54 4 1
7179 Hey lady...got a match? 1.1014 0.03661 69 62 7 0
7180 I'm working on my chores, entertainment balance. 1.1014 0.03661 69 62 7 0
7181 Next, career and family. 1.1014 0.03661 69 62 7 0
7182 A boring routine Meghan that needs a spark. 1.1014 0.03661 69 62 7 0
7183 Can you please pass the salt? 1.1014 0.04203 69 63 5 1
7184 Impressive interview! But can you type? 1.1000 0.03906 60 54 6 0
7185 I joined the circus today! 1.1000 0.03906 60 54 6 0
7186 Did you see some of the events at the Olympics this year? 1.1000 0.03906 60 54 6 0
7187 Do you think it needs a leaf blower? 1.1000 0.04286 50 45 5 0
7188 Look I can juggle anything because of the COVID! 1.1000 0.04286 50 45 5 0
7189 Maybe I should have learned to cook during COVID instead. 1.1000 0.03906 60 54 6 0
7190 Emily Post would not have approved 1.1000 0.03906 60 54 6 0
7191 Having a man's attention is kind of important in my dating life. 1.1000 0.04286 50 45 5 0
7192 Go on, pick your weapon. Your body, your choice. 1.1000 0.03612 70 63 7 0
7193 I dare you to reach for the ball” 1.1000 0.04145 70 64 5 1
7194 Is there anything you do that's safe? 1.1000 0.03906 60 54 6 0
7195 I told you there was a lot more to me than my OKCupid profile. 1.1000 0.05151 50 46 3 1
7196 Honey, would you please hand me that glass of water? Now. 1.1000 0.03906 60 54 6 0
7197 It's just a date. Relax, be yourself and have fun. 1.1000 0.05151 50 46 3 1
7198 Let get on with the show 1.1000 0.05991 40 37 2 1
7199 My circus interview is tomorrow, can you please order for me? 1.1000 0.05151 50 46 3 1
7200 I gotta say: you’ve really bowled me over with your ability to cut through the bullshit of finding a decent match in this city. 1.1000 0.04286 50 45 5 0
7201 OK, OK! No dinner till I clean the garage. I get it. 1.1000 0.04145 70 64 5 1
7202 I know first impressions matter when a man is looking for a mate. 1.1000 0.03906 60 54 6 0
7203 Our relationship is on fire. Do you want to sever it or play ball? 1.1000 0.03906 60 54 6 0
7204 You ordered the uni? 1.1000 0.05151 50 46 3 1
7205 I miss Alex Trebek, too. 1.1000 0.04286 50 45 5 0
7206 And before you choose, keep in mind, we're playing F/M/K where "Marry" means you're in a sexless marriage with this thing, which does change MY pick, but you go first. 1.1000 0.05151 50 46 3 1
7207 I should probably alsi wear a mask to convey a heightened sense of risk 1.1000 0.04572 60 55 4 1
7208 Aristocrats! 1.1000 0.03906 60 54 6 0
7209 I told you I’m not bi(cycle) 1.1000 0.03906 60 54 6 0
7210 That’s nice. Did I tell you about that deal I closed the other day? 1.1000 0.05153 60 56 2 2
7211 I guess I did ask you to get the waiters attention 1.1000 0.04286 50 45 5 0
7212 Thank God, I didn't bring the proposal ring today! 1.1000 0.05153 60 56 2 2
7213 Up next folks, Woman attempts to demonstrates the meaning of the term 'the struggle with the juggle' to Man 1.1000 0.05151 50 46 3 1
7214 You pick up any new hobbies durring the lockdown? 1.1000 0.04286 50 45 5 0
7215 Reverse evolution, Male choice: "Do you find me attractive, honey?" 1.1000 0.03906 60 54 6 0
7216 How every server feels working through the pandemic! 1.1000 0.04286 50 45 5 0
7217 Dating For Dummies calls it a You ‘n I cycle 1.1000 0.03906 60 54 6 0
7218 I’ve juggled worse 1.1000 0.03612 70 63 7 0
7219 man: I know I've never been in the circus but I think you're doing it wrong 1.1000 0.03906 60 54 6 0
7220 I believe the menu indicated this was a four course dinner. 1.0986 0.03563 71 64 7 0
7221 And I'm also juggling a part-time office job, chef's school and motherhood. 1.0986 0.03563 71 64 7 0
7222 Now will you stop paying Dutch treat? 1.0984 0.03845 61 55 6 0
7223 this must be your first date ever... 1.0984 0.03845 61 55 6 0
7224 Covid Fascism or Burnt Planent? We got all 3 this evening 1.0984 0.03845 61 55 6 0
7225 Hardly distracting when I’m so hungry. 1.0984 0.03845 61 55 6 0
7226 I’ve never found dating to be easy. 1.0984 0.03845 61 55 6 0
7227 I'll get to your order but I'm juggling a lot of things in my life right now. 1.0984 0.04499 61 56 4 1
7228 I donknow what you're worried about. I'm the one taking all the risks! 1.0984 0.04499 61 56 4 1
7229 And if you donate right now, I'll throw in a trip to the destination of your choice 1.0984 0.03845 61 55 6 0
7230 Can you hand me that glass. I'm parched. 1.0984 0.03845 61 55 6 0
7231 So, we’re ordering take away tonight? 1.0984 0.03845 61 55 6 0
7232 Just your Average mom 1.0984 0.04499 61 56 4 1
7233 And I thought dating was a figurative clown show 1.0984 0.03845 61 55 6 0
7234 I'm home! What's for dinner? 1.0984 0.04499 61 56 4 1
7235 It’s my pandemic coping mechanism. And it made getting vaccinated seem easy! 1.0980 0.04205 51 46 5 0
7236 Nowadays, seems like guys expect the gal to bring ALL the toys to the party. 1.0980 0.04205 51 46 5 0
7237 It's only an orange! 1.0980 0.04205 51 46 5 0
7238 But enough about me. What'd you do during lockdown? 1.0980 0.04205 51 46 5 0
7239 Ready with the glass of acid? 1.0980 0.04205 51 46 5 0
7240 You asked for a quick dinner! 1.0980 0.05053 51 47 3 1
7241 Let’s face it - I’m better at multi-tasking than you. 1.0980 0.04205 51 46 5 0
7242 I’m training for the 2028 Summer Olympics. 1.0980 0.04205 51 46 5 0
7243 I bypassed the sourdough last year… 1.0980 0.05053 51 47 3 1
7244 I still wanna see your proof of vaccination. 1.0980 0.04205 51 46 5 0
7245 Visual representation of nursing during the pandemic 1.0980 0.05053 51 47 3 1
7246 During lockdown, we brought restaurant habits home and made some improvements to pass the time. Now it's time to bring some these improvements back to restaurant 1.0980 0.04205 51 46 5 0
7247 Wild and dangerous women just don't do it for me anymore." Thomas Frizzell (Crockett, Texas 1.0976 0.04692 41 37 4 0
7248 THIS ISN'T WHAT I MEANT BY TABLE DANCE 1.0976 0.05849 41 38 2 1
7249 The pandemic has allowed me to focus on the important things in life. 1.0976 0.04692 41 37 4 0
7250 Jeremy waits to get a word in edgewise. 1.0976 0.04692 41 37 4 0
7251 This is the easiest way for me to fall in love. 1.0972 0.04034 72 66 5 1
7252 I got a new juggler 1.0972 0.04493 72 67 3 2
7253 You reckon juggling home schooling & working from home is hard. Check this out 1.0972 0.04034 72 66 5 1
7254 Yeah, but did you get vaccinated? 1.0968 0.03785 62 56 6 0
7255 The hospital called. Your date is in stable condition. 1.0968 0.04429 62 57 4 1
7256 Your profile said you were "fun loving". I wasn't quite expecting this! 1.0968 0.03785 62 56 6 0
7257 I do it to relax ... It's easier than juggling my career and family. 1.0968 0.04991 62 58 2 2
7258 A date night out is juggling. 1.0968 0.03785 62 56 6 0
7259 Whoops!! almost dropped the chainsaw! do you now any circus tricks? I learned to do this when I was 3! 1.0962 0.04958 52 48 3 1
7260 I'll meet you anytime you want, in our Italian restaurant. 1.0962 0.04128 52 47 5 0
7261 Ever since I started practicing this routine, I find it much easier to negotiate crossing streets in Manhattan. 1.0962 0.04958 52 48 3 1
7262 Even all *this* is easier than being your parents again. 1.0962 0.04958 52 48 3 1
7263 You do know if you drop anything I have to take a star from you 1.0962 0.04128 52 47 5 0
7264 At last, I think I'm ready to include the baby now! 1 1.0962 0.04128 52 47 5 0
7265 So you know that it's really me! 1.0962 0.04958 52 48 3 1
7266 Honestly, just figuring how to balance my diet is not as easy as doing this balancing act. 1.0962 0.04128 52 47 5 0
7267 But does it come with unlimited bread sticks? 1.0962 0.04128 52 47 5 0
7268 Actually, the hardest part is not falling off the unicycle. 1.0962 0.04128 52 47 5 0
7269 I really just wanted to know if you were vaccinated? 1.0962 0.04128 52 47 5 0
7270 Oh this is nothing, you should see me juggle work, family and my other social obligations. 1.0962 0.04958 52 48 3 1
7271 I juggle my work and free time just as well. 1.0962 0.04958 52 48 3 1
7272 With restaurants short-staffed, this is my best bet to get the waiter's attention. 1.0962 0.04958 52 48 3 1
7273 Sorry I missed catching your iPhone. But do I finally have your full attention? 1.0962 0.04128 52 47 5 0
7274 But I wanted my juice in the blue cup… 1.0962 0.04958 52 48 3 1
7275 I honed my psychic abilities during quarantine, Clyde. But you never pay attention, do you? 1.0962 0.04958 52 48 3 1
7276 I used to play Rochambeaux but after COVID hit I had to mix it up a bit. 1.0962 0.04128 52 47 5 0
7277 I used to work here 1.0962 0.04128 52 47 5 0
7278 i said have you seen my mask? 1.0962 0.04128 52 47 5 0
7279 When’s lunch? 1.0962 0.04128 52 47 5 0
7280 I shouldn’t have said I could do all these things on my dating profile 1.0962 0.04128 52 47 5 0
7281 As a working mom,I can juggle anything 1.0959 0.03470 73 66 7 0
7282 HOLY FUCK IM JUGGLING ALL THIS SHIT IN IN INAPPROPRIATE PLACE 1.0959 0.03981 73 67 5 1
7283 This is how we did things in pre-pandemic dating, right? 1.0952 0.04584 42 38 4 0
7284 I'm going to assume this flashy display means your answer to the question about dating history is a bad one. 1.0952 0.04584 42 38 4 0
7285 Do you still want to become a homemaker, George? 1.0952 0.03728 63 57 6 0
7286 I can't juggle everything, so our relationship is also up in the air. 1.0952 0.03728 63 57 6 0
7287 I find communicating in metaphors works well. Though beware when I talk about the ill winds blowing. 1.0952 0.03728 63 57 6 0
7288 Wait till you see what i get to juggle when we have kids? 1.0952 0.03728 63 57 6 0
7289 Honey, I've never doubted your talent. I just feel it anymore. 1.0952 0.04361 63 58 4 1
7290 I'm more than just a pretty face! 1.0952 0.04584 42 38 4 0
7291 The big menu, gluten free. 1.0952 0.04584 42 38 4 0
7292 Wow, the danger! No mask. 1.0952 0.04584 42 38 4 0
7293 Of course I can. I’ve got nothing else going on 1.0952 0.03728 63 57 6 0
7294 Juggling multiple hazzards must indeed be a silver lining of the pandemic 1.0952 0.04361 63 58 4 1
7295 so a woman walks into a bar, she's got a poodle under one arm, and a twelve sausage under the other, the bartender says. ... 1.0952 0.04361 63 58 4 1
7296 « … you said, ‘adventurous’ in the profile, after all. » 1.0946 0.03929 74 68 5 1
7297 Women on the top winning through life 1.0946 0.03929 74 68 5 1
7298 We also offer health insurance. 1.0943 0.04053 53 48 5 0
7299 Glad I was able to juggle a few things so we could get out for a date...! 1.0943 0.04867 53 49 3 1
7300 I can see you've been putting your time alone to good use 1.0943 0.04053 53 48 5 0
7301 Since Covid we have all had to take on some additional duties. May I carve you a menu? 1.0943 0.04867 53 49 3 1
7302 So, yeah, I went to WhatsamattaU. 1.0943 0.04867 53 49 3 1
7303 Enough about the mozzarella sticks Steve, I'm working here! 1.0943 0.04053 53 48 5 0
7304 Because my AA group was all circus performers. 1.0943 0.04053 53 48 5 0
7305 ...Anyway, that's me. What did you do during lockdown? 1.0943 0.04867 53 49 3 1
7306 enjoy our amuse-bouche sir 1.0943 0.04053 53 48 5 0
7307 This is our tip: don’t try this at home! 1.0943 0.04867 53 49 3 1
7308 Watch out for the glass. 1.0943 0.04053 53 48 5 0
7309 If you like this appetizer, just wait for the main course. 1.0943 0.05563 53 50 1 2
7310 Before you order, have you given any thought to the suggested gratuities? 1.0943 0.04867 53 49 3 1
7311 Next, expect three active chain saws--and a double martini, if I know you. 1.0943 0.04053 53 48 5 0
7312 Okay, but what's for dinner? 1.0943 0.04867 53 49 3 1
7313 The working title is ‘Mothering in the Anthropocene.’ 1.0943 0.04053 53 48 5 0
7314 ... So your just gonna sit there and watch me juggle life? And not help at all!!! 1.0943 0.04867 53 49 3 1
7315 Sorry for the mess, just trying to live up to the Tinder bio that I carefully crafted during lockdown… 1.0943 0.04053 53 48 5 0
7316 What! no cat? 1.0943 0.04867 53 49 3 1
7317 Listen, I know you didn't as for a community theatre solo reimagining of Fantasia at your table, but this is literally my dream. 1.0943 0.04053 53 48 5 0
7318 I did an internship as a juggler in the circus. I’d be happy to help you with your technique. 1.0943 0.04867 53 49 3 1
7319 Why yes, I am a teacher. How did you know? 1.0941 0.03599 85 78 6 1
7320 And then I told her, “maybe you’ve just got too much on your plate and it’s time to delegate”, but she did not take that well, so anyway, how was your day?” 1.0938 0.03672 64 58 6 0
7321 Next time I'll try Bumble instead. 1.0938 0.04838 64 60 2 2
7322 I am submitting all we juggled during the Pandemic to the Olympics as a new event! 1.0938 0.03672 64 58 6 0
7323 I learned this working in Public Health. Rich Cimino, Fraser CO. 1.0938 0.03672 64 58 6 0
7324 Music in background: “It’s just another manic Monday.” 1.0938 0.04838 64 60 2 2
7325 Since you didn’t understand me when I said my perfect match was sharp and well rounded, I’ve decided to spell it out for you. 1.0938 0.04295 64 59 4 1
7326 Challenge accepted. 1.0938 0.03672 64 58 6 0
7327 I like to bring my strengths to whatever I do. 1.0938 0.03672 64 58 6 0
7328 Honey, I don't think that's quite kosher. 1.0938 0.03672 64 58 6 0
7329 Entertainment Straight from Venice Beach to your table. 1.0938 0.03672 64 58 6 0
7330 And then they had to parent during quarantine, and it was all too much. 1.0938 0.04295 64 59 4 1
7331 What do you have to do to get a check around here? 1.0930 0.04482 43 39 4 0
7332 So the entertainment is complimentary? 1.0930 0.04482 43 39 4 0
7333 Cool and all but the water was warm, so I'll only give the meal 4 stars. 1.0926 0.03982 54 49 5 0
7334 Don’t worry, I’ll pay. 1.0926 0.04779 54 50 3 1
7335 What am I fixing for dinner you ask? 1.0926 0.04779 54 50 3 1
7336 Wana try it? 1.0926 0.04779 54 50 3 1
7337 I'll be ready for Paris. 1.0926 0.03982 54 49 5 0
7338 My first husband split. 1.0926 0.04779 54 50 3 1
7339 How’s this for our dinners out becoming a little boring? 1.0926 0.03982 54 49 5 0
7340 I know what you're thinking, but I was about to wash the table cloth anyway. 1.0926 0.03982 54 49 5 0
7341 What working from home feels like 1.0926 0.03982 54 49 5 0
7342 Hey, you wanted indoor dining. 1.0926 0.03982 54 49 5 0
7343 I'll try to keep this painless. 1.0926 0.03982 54 49 5 0
7344 2020 1.0926 0.04779 54 50 3 1
7345 Could you just move your glass? 1.0926 0.03982 54 49 5 0
7346 No, Georgie, you suck it up! 1.0926 0.03982 54 49 5 0
7347 I assumed you also worked for the circus when you listed your work as "Acrobat." 1.0926 0.04779 54 50 3 1
7348 So, what's on your college application? 1.0926 0.03982 54 49 5 0
7349 very nice, but where is the kitchen sink? 1.0926 0.03982 54 49 5 0
7350 As you can see I am ready for house kids and career 1.0926 0.03982 54 49 5 0
7351 Flaming orange peel with a twist. 1.0926 0.03982 54 49 5 0
7352 Sorry, but I set a high bar on blind dates. 1.0926 0.03982 54 49 5 0
7353 I’ll have the flame grilled rough cut pounded tenderloin please, medium rare. 1.0926 0.03982 54 49 5 0
7354 Societal (re)introduction - we're getting there 1.0926 0.03982 54 49 5 0
7355 Okay. But do you get equal pay? 1.0926 0.04779 54 50 3 1
7356 So then I decided to follow my passion…bet you’re glad you swiped right. 1.0926 0.04779 54 50 3 1
7357 However, it is easier than fuelling a dialogue with an unknown person 1.0926 0.03982 54 49 5 0
7358 Let me guess. You want carry out. 1.0923 0.04765 65 61 2 2
7359 This is the last time I am going to try to live up to my online-dating profile. 1.0923 0.04231 65 60 4 1
7360 No COVID-19 vaccine is the most dangerous part of my act. 1.0923 0.04231 65 60 4 1
7361 My life coach said living more on the edge would improve my speed dating game. 1.0923 0.03618 65 59 6 0
7362 What happened to the lap and table dancers ? 1.0923 0.04231 65 60 4 1
7363 I am ready for 2024 summer Olympic 🇫🇷 1.0921 0.03829 76 70 5 1
7364 You've gotta give me props. 1.0909 0.03912 55 50 5 0
7365 Lemme guess, your parents let you play with your food." 1.0909 0.03912 55 50 5 0
7366 And multitasking isn't my best feature 1.0909 0.03912 55 50 5 0
7367 I wanted to be the head carnival juggler, but it's such an old boy's club. 1.0909 0.03912 55 50 5 0
7368 My special skills wouldn’t all fit in my dating profile 1.0909 0.04695 55 51 3 1
7369 This isn't the right time to say that I'm always 'multitasking' 1.0909 0.04695 55 51 3 1
7370 We live dangerously at the Maskless No Vaccine Bistro 1.0909 0.03912 55 50 5 0
7371 So, uhh, is the main course on its way or… 1.0909 0.03912 55 50 5 0
7372 Finally...I figured out a way to get you to put your phone away! 1.0909 0.04695 55 51 3 1
7373 I'm starting to wish I'd ordered the regular ice tea now, Maurice. 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
7374 By all means, go golfing with the guys! I'll take care of the kids. 1.0909 0.04169 66 61 4 1
7375 Why would I add a red flag to the mix? 1.0909 0.04169 66 61 4 1
7376 Do you think I’ve had too many beers today? 1.0909 0.03912 55 50 5 0
7377 I thought you were the one!? 1.0909 0.03912 55 50 5 0
7378 Are we an item? 1.0909 0.05458 44 41 2 1
7379 IT'S REALLY SIMPLE, HONEY! 1.0909 0.03912 55 50 5 0
7380 I ordered wine for you. You want to replace hacksaw or fire thrower with it? 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
7381 Is this a new Olympic Sport? 1.0909 0.04169 66 61 4 1
7382 High maintenance? Nah...Now I'll pass you the chainsaw. 1.0909 0.05458 44 41 2 1
7383 I hope I don't offend you, but your ponytail looks ridiculous. 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
7384 loosen up. i mean, we're already indoors and unmasked. 1.0909 0.03912 55 50 5 0
7385 If you’re vaccinated we do a pre-meal show. 1.0909 0.04695 55 51 3 1
7386 I am better with three than four — and sorry about your +1. 1.0909 0.03912 55 50 5 0
7387 No,I studied English in college. 1.0909 0.04695 55 51 3 1
7388 I'm going for the tomato soup, you? 1.0909 0.03566 66 60 6 0
7389 I think this is what they call women’s lib… 1.0909 0.04169 66 61 4 1
7390 I’ve been told I have a dynamic personality 1.0909 0.03912 55 50 5 0
7391 The pandemic has offered me an inordinate amount of down-time. 1.0909 0.03912 55 50 5 0
7392 First impression 1.0909 0.04695 55 51 3 1
7393 Republican governors trying to juggle all their misinformation 1.0909 0.03912 55 50 5 0
7394 Is this how it's done? I haven't been on a date for a long time.." "Yeah I can see that.. 1.0909 0.04695 55 51 3 1
7395 Tell me if our relationship is going somewhere or it’s dealer’s choice. 1.0909 0.03912 55 50 5 0
7396 Let me know if you need anything else! @sarah_portney 1.0909 0.03912 55 50 5 0
7397 Why did I swipe right 1.0909 0.03912 55 50 5 0
7398 By 2021, contactless door-to-door sales persons really needed to think outside the box to ward off further economic downturn 1.0909 0.04695 55 51 3 1
7399 My therapist says I need to work on delegating responsibilities. 1.0909 0.03566 66 60 6 0
7400 What do you mean,the bowling ball is too small? 1.0896 0.03515 67 61 6 0
7401 I didn’t put this on the dating app profile. 1.0896 0.03515 67 61 6 0
7402 Relax! I don't have to twist. 1.0896 0.03515 67 61 6 0
7403 Um, I just asked how next week looked. Let’s discuss a second date another time. 1.0896 0.03515 67 61 6 0
7404 Sparkling or still? 1.0896 0.04108 67 62 4 1
7405 Your profile said you are looking for someone wild and uninhibited. 1.0896 0.03515 67 61 6 0
7406 hun we are at olive garden, lay low so we get our endless soup, salad, and breadsticks 1.0896 0.03515 67 61 6 0
7407 Another way to put action on the table 1.0893 0.04613 56 52 3 1
7408 Circus Acts 101 during the pandemic 1.0893 0.03845 56 51 5 0
7409 Impressive, but I still dont see any food on the table . 1.0893 0.03845 56 51 5 0
7410 I forgot to mention this as a hobby in my Match profile. 1.0893 0.03845 56 51 5 0
7411 I'm sorry Freddie, but I forgot to wear a mask. 1.0893 0.04613 56 52 3 1
7412 Umm, yeah. Surprised? Yes I am. Maybe we could just talk until we’re served? 1.0893 0.03845 56 51 5 0
7413 Yeah, but can you do this bold-folded? 1.0893 0.04613 56 52 3 1
7414 PiYo just wasn't doing it for me, so I decided to kick it up a notch. 1.0893 0.03845 56 51 5 0
7415 this is not a circus 1.0893 0.04613 56 52 3 1
7416 Yes, there’s a reason why you are the only person in this restaurant. 1.0893 0.03845 56 51 5 0
7417 I went through the pandemic, and all you have is this crummy routine. 1.0893 0.03845 56 51 5 0
7418 well….at least she looks like her pictures. 1.0893 0.03845 56 51 5 0
7419 And can you make dinner too? 1.0893 0.03845 56 51 5 0
7420 Note to self: read profile before swiping right. 1.0889 0.04290 45 41 4 0
7421 Sure, let's have another kid. 1.0889 0.05339 45 42 2 1
7422 When single guys are searching for the perfect wife... 1.0889 0.04290 45 41 4 0
7423 I started juggling a ball anytime I heard or saw Trump’s name during lockdown. 1.0889 0.04290 45 41 4 0
7424 I’m pretty sure you couldn’t do that juggling routine if Bernard’s penis was thrown into the mix! You do know Bernard Welt, don’t you? 1.0889 0.04290 45 41 4 0
7425 ... and Blind Date Demo # 7: Raising our bald son to be GREAT, in Trump's America 1.0889 0.05339 45 42 2 1
7426 Now that's a sturdy table! 1.0889 0.04290 45 41 4 0
7427 It's easier than deciding what to eat. 1.0889 0.04290 45 41 4 0
7428 ESPN,HGTV,MTV,Comedy Central,TNT 1.0889 0.05339 45 42 2 1
7429 Origin of the species, 2021 "Thinker meets doer...What would Charles Darwin think?" 1.0889 0.05339 45 42 2 1
7430 Quarantine, variant Delta55, day #1217. 1.0889 0.05339 45 42 2 1
7431 Not yet an Olympic sport! 1.0882 0.04049 68 63 4 1
7432 God, I hope he has a bed frame. 1.0882 0.03465 68 62 6 0
7433 It helps let people know that I'm still taking social distancing seriously. 1.0882 0.03465 68 62 6 0
7434 I'm just trying to subvert your expectations, honey! 1.0882 0.03465 68 62 6 0
7435 And now, ladies and gentlemen, dinner is almost ready 1.0882 0.03465 68 62 6 0
7436 I put your name on the card. 1.0882 0.03465 68 62 6 0
7437 Honey, they really don't like you doing this at dinner. 1.0877 0.03780 57 52 5 0
7438 You said you liked 'daring'. This is 'daring'. 1.0877 0.03780 57 52 5 0
7439 I get told that I don't look like my Tinder picture. 1.0877 0.03780 57 52 5 0
7440 Hope you remember to tip? 1.0877 0.04534 57 53 3 1
7441 What does it take to impress a man anymore? 1.0877 0.03780 57 52 5 0
7442 This is your idea of an introduction to "balanced nutrition"? 1.0877 0.04534 57 53 3 1
7443 The real challenge is describing this in my profile 1.0877 0.03780 57 52 5 0
7444 Are you packing condoms? 1.0877 0.03780 57 52 5 0
7445 Rock, paper, scissors to see who does the dishes was getting lame, so why not spice it up? 1.0877 0.04534 57 53 3 1
7446 Look what my Mom taught me! 1.0877 0.03780 57 52 5 0
7447 Let me know when I should add our child to this 1.0877 0.04534 57 53 3 1
7448 why she is showing off ? 1.0877 0.03780 57 52 5 0
7449 But you make it look so easy. 1.0877 0.03780 57 52 5 0
7450 Don't worry Miké. I've got it all covered. 1.0877 0.04534 57 53 3 1
7451 Wow, this UBER Feats is great! 1.0870 0.04200 46 42 4 0
7452 Sorry, they couldn’t find any waiters or cooks. 1.0870 0.04200 46 42 4 0
7453 It has nothing to do with those beers we had, I just have a sudden feeling I can do this 1.0870 0.05225 46 43 2 1
7454 And for the date's final act, I'll disappear and never text you again. 1.0870 0.04200 46 42 4 0
7455 Thanks for setting us up. She was great. Just a little too eager. 1.0870 0.04200 46 42 4 0
7456 What's for dinner? 1.0870 0.04200 46 42 4 0
7457 OK, I think I'm prepared to start a family now. 1.0870 0.04200 46 42 4 0
7458 It’s easier juggling to make ends meet this way. So, that was a Number 9, hold the Mayo? 1.0870 0.04200 46 42 4 0
7459 You think a mask would reduce my risk? 1.0870 0.03417 69 63 6 0
7460 The 2021 ”It’s not you, it’s me” routine: ”As a post-covid, remotely working single mom, I just don’t want our relationship to be one more thing I have to juggle, you know?” 1.0870 0.05225 46 43 2 1
7461 Ready, set... 1.0870 0.03417 69 63 6 0
7462 What did you accomplish this pandemic? 1.0870 0.03992 69 64 4 1
7463 Women who had moms with depression on a first date like: 1.0870 0.04200 46 42 4 0
7464 I must say Jenny, I do prefer traditional rules of charades.. 1.0870 0.04200 46 42 4 0
7465 I said I can’t keep STRUGGLING through this Cindy. 1.0870 0.04200 46 42 4 0
7466 I hope you’re enjoying this pre dinner show! 1.0862 0.03718 58 53 5 0
7467 You said you wanted entertainment with your meal... 1.0862 0.03718 58 53 5 0
7468 My profile said I had multiple talents! 1.0862 0.03718 58 53 5 0
7469 Thanks for buying more olive oil. 1.0862 0.03718 58 53 5 0
7470 I'm not scared. I'm just considering all the possible outcomes of switching jobs during the pandemic 1.0862 0.03718 58 53 5 0
7471 I'll start the chain saw. Can you catch it? 1.0862 0.03718 58 53 5 0
7472 And this is when I realized, nothing would scare me away. Except for that. 1.0862 0.04458 58 54 3 1
7473 It isn’t about thanks or appreciation, Tom. Just follow me on Twitter. 1.0862 0.04458 58 54 3 1
7474 I’m not juggling too much, am I? 1.0862 0.03718 58 53 5 0
7475 It was at this moment that he realized that not all Tinders are the same. 1.0862 0.03718 58 53 5 0
7476 You probably can’t tell, but I’ve become quite good at keeping my emotional trama from 2020 in check 1.0862 0.03718 58 53 5 0
7477 I strongly believe in work-life balance 1.0862 0.03718 58 53 5 0
7478 I know it's not polite to talk about exes, but he was a real buzzkill. 1.0857 0.03370 70 64 6 0
7479 I’m doing fine. 1.0857 0.03370 70 64 6 0
7480 Cool. Your gratuity will impress them. Can we eat dinner now? 1.0851 0.04114 47 43 4 0
7481 But she can't wear a mask? 1.0851 0.04114 47 43 4 0
7482 Oh, the axe? It’s in your back. 1.0851 0.04114 47 43 4 0
7483 The old world is dying and the new world struggles to be born. Now is the time of monsters. 1.0851 0.04114 47 43 4 0
7484 Darling, if you sit down now I don't think anyone will have noticed... 1.0851 0.04114 47 43 4 0
7485 I learned how to do this during the lock down. 1.0851 0.04114 47 43 4 0
7486 So tell me more about your longboard 1.0851 0.04114 47 43 4 0
7487 A new skill I picked up doing remote work: Keep your distance! 1.0851 0.05116 47 44 2 1
7488 It's all about balance and reasonable expectations, you know. 1.0851 0.05116 47 44 2 1
7489 One technique of sabotage is working to a higher standard than required, diminishing efficiency and profit margins. 1.0847 0.03657 59 54 5 0
7490 I get your point. The steaks in this place are really tough! 1.0847 0.03657 59 54 5 0
7491 I haven’t been on a date in two years—is this how people normally act? 1.0847 0.03657 59 54 5 0
7492 Maybe if they’ll take your IOU, you won’t have to do this. 1.0847 0.03657 59 54 5 0
7493 I can juggle anything, as long as I don’t get two tired. 1.0847 0.03657 59 54 5 0
7494 Yes, I lied on my profile.,I said I could juggle four running chainsaws, perhaps it's your luckily day" -- Mark Riggl 1.0847 0.03657 59 54 5 0
7495 The exhausted juggler..woman! 1.0847 0.03657 59 54 5 0
7496 You’re great. Really. It’s not you, it’s me. 1.0847 0.03657 59 54 5 0
7497 'I've told you before, "No wheels on the table."' 1.0847 0.03657 59 54 5 0
7498 oh yeah,as you were saying last time, I need to get a grip over things... 1.0847 0.03657 59 54 5 0
7499 They said it would be two weeks. 1.0847 0.03657 59 54 5 0
7500 Woman to man: “did you pick the kids up from school?” 1.0847 0.03657 59 54 5 0
7501 Wait till you taste my Tina noodle casserole. 1.0845 0.03883 71 66 4 1
7502 Arnold, you said you wanted more excitement in our marriage. 1.0833 0.03598 60 55 5 0
7503 What do you think of women, now?? 1.0833 0.05012 48 45 2 1
7504 All I'm saying is, women are just as competent as men. 1.0833 0.04031 48 44 4 0
7505 It comes with your meal. No substitutions. 1.0833 0.03598 60 55 5 0
7506 This is the end of playing eenie meenie miney mo with you. 1.0833 0.04031 48 44 4 0
7507 Now that I got your attention, I would like to share my ideas on our vacation plans. 1.0833 0.03598 60 55 5 0
7508 Now that I’ve proven my entire résumé is true, it’s your turn — get ready to do a double backflip over a burning fire! 1.0833 0.04031 48 44 4 0
7509 Please don't threaten me with the duster again. 1.0833 0.03598 60 55 5 0
7510 Please ask our waiter for a large doggie bag 1.0833 0.03280 72 66 6 0
7511 Nick sat stunned as he watched the assassin he had hired juggle his options before him. The cancer had spread to his brain and this seemed the most humane option. He sipped a warm glass of lime Gadoraide and decided on death by unicycle. It was awful 1.0833 0.04312 60 56 3 1
7512 Yea, I guess Master Class was worth it. 1.0833 0.05012 48 45 2 1
7513 The pandemic was great to increase my skill set. 1.0833 0.03598 60 55 5 0
7514 Now how about the trick where dinner magically appears. 1.0833 0.04312 60 56 3 1
7515 What's for dessert? 1.0833 0.05012 48 45 2 1
7516 I've made every recipe I know how so many times over during Covid that I thought you'd prefer this one for a change. 1.0833 0.03280 72 66 6 0
7517 Good restaurant help is hard to find,you know 1.0833 0.04031 48 44 4 0
7518 Don't worry babe, I did my own research 1.0833 0.04672 36 33 3 0
7519 I’m a single mom. Now you tell me about yourself. 1.0833 0.04031 48 44 4 0
7520 Very Cool Jennifer, but It dosen't answer the "are you vaccinated?" Question. 1.0833 0.03598 60 55 5 0
7521 I’m going for a world record. ‘Most preventable injuries in under a minute’ 1.0820 0.03541 61 56 5 0
7522 It's the American version of Benihana. 1.0820 0.03541 61 56 5 0
7523 This juggling act is going to catch on fire in no time. No one will be able to resist it for the opening act dedicating the new wing of the school building." 1.0820 0.04243 61 57 3 1
7524 Your juggling is quite good, but I’m afraid I must excuse myself. I have diarrhea 1.0820 0.03541 61 56 5 0
7525 Huh. Your Tinder profile said you liked Italian food and laid-back weekends. 1.0820 0.03541 61 56 5 0
7526 Throw me your drink. 1.0820 0.03541 61 56 5 0
7527 Don’t look so downcast, Walter. I only asked you to pay the check because I forgot my wallet. 1.0820 0.03541 61 56 5 0
7528 CAN YOU FIX IT WITH LOVE ? 1.0820 0.04243 61 57 3 1
7529 And now, with our family budget, I' ll jump through hoops 1.0820 0.03541 61 56 5 0
7530 I got balls too 1.0820 0.04243 61 57 3 1
7531 Love me. 1.0820 0.04243 61 57 3 1
7532 And I still need to go to the dentist. 1.0820 0.03541 61 56 5 0
7533 I KNOW YOU SAID YOU WOULD DO ANYTHING TO KEEP ME BUT IT'S NOT YOU, ITS ME. 1.0816 0.03952 49 45 4 0
7534 The Challenge 1.0816 0.03952 49 45 4 0
7535 MY FRIENDS WERE COMPETING OVER WHO WAS MOST PRODUCTIVE DURING THE PANDEMIC. I WON! 1.0816 0.04911 49 46 2 1
7536 Multi-tasking family life turned out to be a piece of cake ever since I've mastered extreme juggling. 1.0816 0.03952 49 45 4 0
7537 So dear, it can't be that difficult to just do the one thing I asked. 1.0816 0.03952 49 45 4 0
7538 For my next act I will add a ticket to Florida. 1.0816 0.03952 49 45 4 0
7539 So this was my pandemic hobby, how about you? 1.0816 0.04911 49 46 2 1
7540 Yes, this is mandatory for all single mothers. 1.0816 0.03952 49 45 4 0
7541 You're lucky, I usually save this for the second date. 1.0816 0.03952 49 45 4 0
7542 Now what did you say you wanted for dinner? 1.0816 0.03952 49 45 4 0
7543 It's really not so hard to learn once you get a lower deductible 1.0816 0.04911 49 46 2 1
7544 Work-life balance 1.0816 0.03952 49 45 4 0
7545 Can you get off the table please? 1.0816 0.03952 49 45 4 0
7546 Stop me if you think I’m trying too hard to please. I never know what people want from me on a first date 1.0816 0.04911 49 46 2 1
7547 Entering adult life 1.0816 0.03952 49 45 4 0
7548 Darling, you've got the right to choose the weapon. 1.0816 0.03952 49 45 4 0
7549 OK, she saw me. I'll ask for the check. 1.0811 0.05976 37 35 1 1
7550 You should join the circus 1.0811 0.04549 37 34 3 0
7551 I merely asked “What’s for dinner?” 1.0811 0.03195 74 68 6 0
7552 I’ve got other talents I didn’t list on Match.com! 1.0806 0.03486 62 57 5 0
7553 You were saying.......? I juggle too many things? 1.0806 0.03486 62 57 5 0
7554 Irvin, would you please take this last one off my hands! J. S. Catlett. 1.0806 0.03486 62 57 5 0
7555 ... but I would have dreamt to be an accountant like you... 1.0806 0.04176 62 58 3 1
7556 when life gets hard 1.0806 0.04176 62 58 3 1
7557 I planned this thinking we'd be on a Zoom date. 1.0806 0.03486 62 57 5 0
7558 I'm just getting warmed up, wait until I toss in my responsibilities, expectations, and societal pressure. 1.0806 0.04176 62 58 3 1
7559 Ok, toss me the cup! 1.0800 0.03876 50 46 4 0
7560 Oh, I see: you have more than balls in the air. 1.0800 0.03876 50 46 4 0
7561 What else could "multi-tasker" mean on my Face Book profile? 1.0800 0.04815 50 47 2 1
7562 If only she could juggle plates, she would be the perfect woman 1.0800 0.03876 50 46 4 0
7563 I find it speeds up the service. 1.0800 0.03876 50 46 4 0
7564 Well, you just had to ask what I was doing with myself for the last sixteen months. 1.0800 0.03876 50 46 4 0
7565 I use it to break through the fourth wall. 1.0800 0.03876 50 46 4 0
7566 My remedy for boredom. 1.0800 0.03876 50 46 4 0
7567 Are you auditioning for “America’s Got Talent” or just trying to make this look accidental for “Dateline?” 1.0800 0.03876 50 46 4 0
7568 It's this new thing called 'adulting' 1.0800 0.03876 50 46 4 0
7569 Recent News: “12-time county fair champion gets thrown out PF Changs with warm reception” 1.0800 0.03876 50 46 4 0
7570 I'm here to eat, not to be eaten. 1.0800 0.03876 50 46 4 0
7571 Now I feel just like I’m at home. 1.0800 0.03876 50 46 4 0
7572 I just want an omellet 1.0800 0.03876 50 46 4 0
7573 Demonstrating to your date how you manage to maintain a work life balance 1.0800 0.03876 50 46 4 0
7574 'I had a lot of free time this past year" 1.0794 0.03433 63 58 5 0
7575 Yup, no masks, no vaccines, this is all we need. Social media has our back. 1.0794 0.04112 63 59 3 1
7576 That's really cool, but we were talking about our credit scores? 1.0794 0.03433 63 58 5 0
7577 Still think you can't handle bedtime? 1.0794 0.03433 63 58 5 0
7578 I just swiped right into this one, didn’t I? 1.0794 0.03433 63 58 5 0
7579 My Uber driver was scared while I was practicing on the way here, I hope she doesn’t give me a bad rating 1.0794 0.03433 63 58 5 0
7580 Wow, you finally lost that extra baby weight! 1.0794 0.03433 63 58 5 0
7581 I know you told that the restaurant was called ‘Juggler’s Revenge’ but I had no idea… 1.0794 0.03433 63 58 5 0
7582 I love a calm and relaxing evening 1.0784 0.04722 51 48 2 1
7583 Single moms have to juggle. Why is that a turnoff? 1.0784 0.04722 51 48 2 1
7584 Claire's profile had read, in part, "Are you ready for some good times?" Just now, Tom wasn't at all sure. 1.0784 0.03802 51 47 4 0
7585 Jf you think this is good, wait until you see the entree. 1.0784 0.04722 51 48 2 1
7586 Take a chance on me 1.0784 0.03802 51 47 4 0
7587 Ok yeah I'm impressed. We definitely should be married. 1.0784 0.03802 51 47 4 0
7588 I'm a sapiosexual 1.0784 0.04722 51 48 2 1
7589 I perfected this during the lock down...watch me dismount! 1.0784 0.03802 51 47 4 0
7590 cafe multi-tasking 1.0784 0.03802 51 47 4 0
7591 BIZARRE 'GASLIGHTING' 1.0784 0.03802 51 47 4 0
7592 Don’t look so worried. I used to be in Cirque du Soleil. 1.0784 0.04722 51 48 2 1
7593 I couldn’t fit all of this in my dating profile. 1.0784 0.04722 51 48 2 1
7594 I’ve spent lots of time off-camera, recently. 1.0784 0.03802 51 47 4 0
7595 In search of her IKIGAI. 1.0784 0.03802 51 47 4 0
7596 I used to work in daycare! 1.0781 0.04049 64 60 3 1
7597 Yep, I think it's safe to say that this table is sturdy enough for juggling a lit torch, a bowling ball, and a chainsaw while riding a unicycle in place. 1.0781 0.03381 64 59 5 0
7598 Can i take your order, or would you just prefer the buffet? 1.0781 0.04049 64 60 3 1
7599 So you’re only juggling your career and your social life? 1.0781 0.03381 64 59 5 0
7600 You can join in as soon as you’re ready 1.0769 0.03731 52 48 4 0
7601 If you think this is impressive, you should see how I handled covid. 1.0769 0.03731 52 48 4 0
7602 I call it Dangerous Dating; what'dya think? 1.0769 0.03731 52 48 4 0
7603 Sharon, your quarantine hobbies are making me anxious. 1.0769 0.03331 65 60 5 0
7604 Nice, but it will not affect your tip. 1.0769 0.03731 52 48 4 0
7605 one of those will do the trick! 1.0769 0.03731 52 48 4 0
7606 And do you want ice in your water sir? 1.0769 0.04633 52 49 2 1
7607 The Tasty video had an ad for Ringling Brothers. 1.0769 0.03331 65 60 5 0
7608 I'm told I have mom vibes. 1.0769 0.03731 52 48 4 0
7609 I'm multitasking. It's better than Zoom. 1.0769 0.03331 65 60 5 0
7610 The new norm metaphor for jungling " home, job, and family." You go girl. 1.0769 0.03731 52 48 4 0
7611 Eating out is certainly NOT dangerous to your health; who told you that? 1.0769 0.04633 52 49 2 1
7612 I think my wife is onto us. 1.0769 0.03331 65 60 5 0
7613 Either the beef or the salmon is fine. Just make sure it’s alive 1.0769 0.03731 52 48 4 0
7614 I wouldn't be doing this if I didn't know you have life insurance " 1.0769 0.03731 52 48 4 0
7615 For the main course I'll be juggling a bonfire, bowling alley and a guillotine. 1.0769 0.03731 52 48 4 0
7616 I...I can do it! 1.0769 0.03731 52 48 4 0
7617 Alright when I say go, you’re going to toss me a pandemic. 1.0769 0.04633 52 49 2 1
7618 I find this more comfortable than normal first date small talk 1.0769 0.03731 52 48 4 0
7619 I actually probably know more than you about table unicycling while juggling.” - Stev 1.0769 0.04633 52 49 2 1
7620 My therapist told me to repeat these words… ‘I am enough.’ But why do I get the feeling you are about to throw me a curve ball? 1.0769 0.03988 65 61 3 1
7621 Yeah I’m trying to figure out how to make the bowling ball electrified. 1.0758 0.03929 66 62 3 1
7622 I decided to foreground my feelings about first dates. 1.0758 0.03282 66 61 5 0
7623 I’m afraid the tiramisu’s off, sir 1.0755 0.04547 53 50 2 1
7624 I hope we may learn to have more equilibrium .. 1.0755 0.03663 53 49 4 0
7625 No! I do not think I am not trying "too hard" to impress you. If I was, I'd also be juggling a hatchet, a cleaver, and a cat while perfectly whistling Mozart's Requiem. 1.0755 0.03663 53 49 4 0
7626 I didn't order your dinner--I didn't know which of these specials you wanted. 1.0755 0.03663 53 49 4 0
7627 This is a side effect of the having a fourth vaccine. 1.0755 0.03663 53 49 4 0
7628 I've always wanted to do something risky on the kitchen table. 1.0755 0.03663 53 49 4 0
7629 I ordered a cheeseburger with onions and tomato...and French fries. 1.0755 0.03663 53 49 4 0
7630 Thank you, waiter, but my husband is the only one ordering tonight. I ate the kids’ leftover chicken nuggets at 5. 1.0755 0.03663 53 49 4 0
7631 The post Covid quarantine dating scene is very intimidating! 1.0755 0.03663 53 49 4 0
7632 They really want us dining in again 1.0755 0.03663 53 49 4 0
7633 after 18 months of virtual learning, the first day of school took on new meaning this year 1.0750 0.05533 40 38 1 1
7634 Life’s a circus, jiggle your own way through it! 1.0750 0.04218 40 37 3 0
7635 Ok, now tell me about your disadvantages 1.0746 0.03871 67 63 3 1
7636 This is my job. 1.0746 0.03235 67 62 5 0
7637 The jerk I used to date yanked the tablecloth. Not a problem for me. But that spilled his glass. 1.0741 0.03597 54 50 4 0
7638 ... and tonight Chef is preparing a special of sous-vide Kurobuta pork belly with an uni emulsion and fish-sauce caramel, pattypan squash stuffed with bee larvae and a charred salsify-kimchi slaw. 1.0741 0.03597 54 50 4 0
7639 Is this not what they mean when they say "put out" 1.0741 0.03597 54 50 4 0
7640 The waitressing is just temporary. I’m auditioning tomorrow for the Flying Karamozov Sisters. 1.0741 0.04464 54 51 2 1
7641 And I have a 401k 1.0741 0.03597 54 50 4 0
7642 I'm done 1.0741 0.04464 54 51 2 1
7643 I learned during Covid. 1.0741 0.03597 54 50 4 0
7644 I like to show off my hobbies on first dates. 1.0741 0.04464 54 51 2 1
7645 Post-covid extra curricular syndrome or am I that boring? 1.0741 0.03597 54 50 4 0
7646 Look, honey. We got this! Just remember who’s got your back.. 1.0741 0.03597 54 50 4 0
7647 Post-Lockdown Dating: Let me show you what I learnt during the pandemic. 1.0741 0.04464 54 51 2 1
7648 and in lockdown I worked on improving myself 1.0741 0.03597 54 50 4 0
7649 Of course going on a blind date is easy when you know how. 1.0735 0.03189 68 63 5 0
7650 It will be easier to juggle child-rearing, cooking, and caring for you. 1.0735 0.03189 68 63 5 0
7651 Multitasking is in our genes. 1.0732 0.04118 41 38 3 0
7652 I figured this was easier than juggling a job, children, and a social media presence. Turns out, it's more fun and it's better for my health! 1.0732 0.04118 41 38 3 0
7653 Why did you let go of the chainsaw aimed at me? 1.0732 0.04118 41 38 3 0
7654 Yah, that's nice but did you do anything constructive today? 1.0732 0.04118 41 38 3 0
7655 It's the latest TikTok trend. 1.0732 0.04118 41 38 3 0
7656 This is not what they call a Dutch Treat. 1.0727 0.03534 55 51 4 0
7657 That's wonderful! But still, I'm not going to tip 1.0727 0.03534 55 51 4 0
7658 It’s a performative act, in lieu of a tip. 1.0727 0.03534 55 51 4 0
7659 The hardest part of doing this is watching the horror in the faces of the reasonable customers. 1.0727 0.03534 55 51 4 0
7660 Yeah, I don't really see myself calling her back. She just wasn't that interesting. 1.0727 0.03534 55 51 4 0
7661 Somehow I manage too juggle a job, a kid, a chainsaw, a bowling ball, and a torch. 1.0727 0.03534 55 51 4 0
7662 You should see what I can do with your accounting books” Jeffrey Manly Toronto,On 1.0727 0.03534 55 51 4 0
7663 I hope I don't catch my pants in the spokes 1.0727 0.03534 55 51 4 0
7664 Chainsaw massacre! 1.0727 0.03534 55 51 4 0
7665 You can toss me the potted plant now. 1.0727 0.03534 55 51 4 0
7666 Are you okay? 1.0727 0.04384 55 52 2 1
7667 I'm not good at small talk, you like? 1.0727 0.03534 55 51 4 0
7668 I will literally bury you, Brandon lol 1.0727 0.03534 55 51 4 0
7669 I said I’ll be right with you sir 1.0727 0.03534 55 51 4 0
7670 That’s one way to show the specials 1.0727 0.03534 55 51 4 0
7671 Now that we’ve gotten that out of the way, you should know that you will be earning $.82 on the dollar. 1.0727 0.03534 55 51 4 0
7672 May I serve you a mixed drink?" 1.0714 0.05272 42 40 1 1
7673 I developed new skills during the pandemic, but they're not leading to job offers. 1.0714 0.04307 56 53 2 1
7674 Hand me the vacuum... 1.0714 0.03100 70 65 5 0
7675 This is my contribution to the household. Yours is all the other stuff. 1.0714 0.04307 56 53 2 1
7676 Next time you can get your own beer. 1.0714 0.03473 56 52 4 0
7677 Why would someone do that? 1.0714 0.03100 70 65 5 0
7678 You have 3 choices, fire manipulation, metal manipulation, or restart? 1.0714 0.03473 56 52 4 0
7679 (Thought bubble) “I should ha e swiped left.” 1.0714 0.04307 56 53 2 1
7680 Watch me pivot through this Covid as I always do! 1.0714 0.03473 56 52 4 0
7681 When I say ‘juggling my emotions…’ 1.0714 0.03473 56 52 4 0
7682 You could blow with this You could blow with that You could blow with this You could blow with that 1.0714 0.03473 56 52 4 0
7683 This lockdown broadened my horizons! 1.0714 0.03473 56 52 4 0
7684 ...and that's why we stopped accepting reservations. Why do you ask? 1.0714 0.03473 56 52 4 0
7685 Yes, it WAS you. 1.0704 0.03657 71 67 3 1
7686 ‘This is what I have to do since people don’t wanna tip servers’ 1.0704 0.03058 71 66 5 0
7687 Pack your bags, we're moving South! The Florida Governor just passed a law making mask wearing illegal anywhere within his giant state circus. 1.0702 0.03413 57 53 4 0
7688 ...and I only killed 3 people when I was learning to do this! 1.0702 0.03413 57 53 4 0
7689 I learned this trick from my mom. 1.0702 0.04233 57 54 2 1
7690 I just couldn't watch any more Real Housewives. 1.0702 0.03413 57 53 4 0
7691 Rock Paper Scissors v. 2.0 1.0702 0.03413 57 53 4 0
7692 Hey, I'm just as good at juggling career and family and I'm not a saw loser 1.0702 0.03413 57 53 4 0
7693 So this is what it’s like on the other end. 1.0702 0.04233 57 54 2 1
7694 Kill, fuck, marry: climate change, economic inequality, deforestation of the Amazon! 1.0702 0.03413 57 53 4 0
7695 Homeschool too? Yup, toss it in. 1.0702 0.03413 57 53 4 0
7696 My therapist said I needed to slow down a little. 1.0698 0.03931 43 40 3 0
7697 Perhaps I shouldn't have mentioned that I feel like I'm juggling a lot in our relationship right now 1.0698 0.03931 43 40 3 0
7698 As you can see, I'm juggling way too much right now to consider a new relationship. 1.0698 0.03931 43 40 3 0
7699 So… at least blind dates haven’t changed. 1.0698 0.03931 43 40 3 0
7700 OK, if you insist, order me a highball. 1.0698 0.03931 43 40 3 0
7701 The school just called Honey and Jonny has lice 1.0698 0.05150 43 41 1 1
7702 Well now I feel like a third wheel. 1.0698 0.03931 43 40 3 0
7703 My last boyfriend said I couldn’t juggle a relationship, a family and a career! 1.0690 0.03356 58 54 4 0
7704 This new fondue place is a blast! 1.0690 0.03356 58 54 4 0
7705 i sort of went for it with the ‘quarantine hobbies’ idea 1.0690 0.03356 58 54 4 0
7706 During COVID I really challenged myself to learn new hobbies. What about you? 1.0690 0.03356 58 54 4 0
7707 Even our definition of a bare minimum doesn't match. Do you need more reasons? 1.0690 0.03356 58 54 4 0
7708 Stop judging. I read in a magazine that keeping a balanced life will make me happy, Robert. 1.0690 0.03356 58 54 4 0
7709 You didn’t mention any of this in your Tinder bio 1.0690 0.03356 58 54 4 0
7710 „I understand that you don’t like to share.“ 1.0685 0.02977 73 68 5 0
7711 Interestingly, it's actually somewhat less dangerous than dining out. 1.0682 0.03844 44 41 3 0
7712 My on-line profile failed to mention this talent. 1.0682 0.03844 44 41 3 0
7713 I thought I ordered the baba ganoush and not the babe juggler. 1.0678 0.03301 59 55 4 0
7714 I thought one of the things they gave me to juggle would be food. 1.0678 0.04092 59 56 2 1
7715 move over, water - here’s the thirst trap! 1.0678 0.03301 59 55 4 0
7716 I wonder why she didn’t want to split a salad 🥗 1.0678 0.03301 59 55 4 0
7717 But you get get mad when I check my phone 1.0678 0.03301 59 55 4 0
7718 Where’d you get this stuff? 1.0678 0.03301 59 55 4 0
7719 I knew the glass of water 💧 was a bad idea! 1.0678 0.03301 59 55 4 0
7720 So she can't answer her cell phone too? 1.0667 0.02900 75 70 5 0
7721 How long have you been on Ringlingbrosbumble.com? 1.0667 0.04924 45 43 1 1
7722 It’s no you. 1.0667 0.04024 60 57 2 1
7723 Actually I've always wanted to learn this but I mastered it during covid 1.0667 0.03761 45 42 3 0
7724 Sevin mins of intense exercise, I can do that. Thinks NYT's report and video! By the way, did I mention I learned to juggle during the pandemic? Stand clear!!!! 1.0667 0.03761 45 42 3 0
7725 I'm shocked and sawed. 1.0667 0.03761 45 42 3 0
7726 I feel like now I have the space in my life for a relationship. 1.0667 0.03247 60 56 4 0
7727 So, a 401k, $20 an hour, full benefits and I juggled for you, will you now come work here as a waiter? 1.0667 0.03761 45 42 3 0
7728 I am juggling several part time jobs. 1.0667 0.03247 60 56 4 0
7729 I think you may regret making me eat those pizza bites. 1.0667 0.03247 60 56 4 0
7730 At this point, I’m not even fazed anymore. 1.0667 0.03247 60 56 4 0
7731 Not my worst Hinge date… 1.0667 0.03247 60 56 4 0
7732 Yeah, I’m a teacher. Would you like to see what I learned this year? 1.0667 0.04024 60 57 2 1
7733 No, I said appetizer. 1.0656 0.03196 61 57 4 0
7734 Tonight's specials are ... 1.0656 0.03196 61 57 4 0
7735 With quarantine, you miss live entertainment, and I miss not having to distract you while Stan sneaks out the back. It's a win-win. 1.0656 0.03196 61 57 4 0
7736 Tinder doesn't do me justice. 1.0656 0.03196 61 57 4 0
7737 And you'd like dinner, when? 1.0656 0.03196 61 57 4 0
7738 And I was worried about keeping my elbows off the table… 1.0656 0.03196 61 57 4 0
7739 Can someone bring me a napkin? 1.0656 0.03959 61 58 2 1
7740 I'm a stay-at-home mom no longer! 1.0652 0.04818 46 44 1 1
7741 My parents said if I'm not married by December they're cutting me out of their Will. 1.0652 0.03681 46 43 3 0
7742 So you came to work and then what? 1.0652 0.03681 46 43 3 0
7743 Did you know that one of my talents is stumble upon disaster and joy? 1.0645 0.03145 62 58 4 0
7744 No, I wouldn't reather be a hair dresser! 1.0645 0.03145 62 58 4 0
7745 I'm still working out some rough spots with the chain saw. 1.0645 0.03896 62 59 2 1
7746 All in a days work. 1.0645 0.03145 62 58 4 0
7747 NO, I don't do windows. 1.0638 0.03604 47 44 3 0
7748 I need you to know ahead of time that there's no such thing as "squirt." It's just pee. 1.0638 0.03604 47 44 3 0
7749 WOW…She is literal… If I was asked what propels me, where I get the spark, how I balance my personal life while juggling a small business and recreation, I wouldn’t stand one legged on my Prius, fire one up, pull out my phone and create content. 1.0638 0.03604 47 44 3 0
7750 Am I still not doing enough for our relationship? 1.0638 0.03604 47 44 3 0
7751 sorry, I’m used to virtually teaching. 1.0638 0.03604 47 44 3 0
7752 This is the last time I go to a Dinner Show alone. 1.0638 0.04716 47 45 1 1
7753 I want a baby in here. 1.0635 0.03097 63 59 4 0
7754 So ! If your mom doesn't approve of the Engagement,tell her I'm coming for her ! 1.0635 0.03097 63 59 4 0
7755 When I said, 'entertain me,' I was expecting something a little more in the adult category. 1.0635 0.03097 63 59 4 0
7756 Tonight, you’re not the trick. 1.0635 0.03097 63 59 4 0
7757 The next clown based horror movie will have this, and this, and this 1.0635 0.03097 63 59 4 0
7758 I would add a fourth item, but my sight isn’t what it use to be.” 1.0625 0.03531 48 45 3 0
7759 Okay, okay, gluten is fine. 1.0625 0.03050 64 60 4 0
7760 I call it the pandemic precipitous panoply! 1.0625 0.04384 64 62 0 2
7761 The third item is to mop up the blood from the wounds caused by items one and two! 1.0625 0.03776 64 61 2 1
7762 The chef is running late, so I thought you could use a distraction. 1.0625 0.03531 48 45 3 0
7763 What? No costume for this act? 1.0625 0.03531 48 45 3 0
7764 This is nothing compared to after school with the kids. 1.0625 0.03531 48 45 3 0
7765 Multi-tasking is so 90s. 1.0625 0.03531 48 45 3 0
7766 When o asked you how you juggle things , I was thinking single motherhood and work. 1.0625 0.03531 48 45 3 0
7767 And now, for my next trick, I’ll tolerate a lifetime of manspreading on the subway and mansplaining from you! 1.0625 0.03776 64 61 2 1
7768 This is great, but when do the clowns come in? 1.0625 0.03531 48 45 3 0
7769 Umm… I asked for panem, not circenses 1.0625 0.03531 48 45 3 0
7770 So, after I had my second child I retired and am now a stay at home mom. 1.0625 0.03531 48 45 3 0
7771 Attention grabbing antiques- pls msg for quote ,charges apply on minute basis...... 1.0625 0.03531 48 45 3 0
7772 These first date impressions are getting out of hands. 1.0625 0.03531 48 45 3 0
7773 What you invest in a relationship it is what you get 1.0625 0.03531 48 45 3 0
7774 Mom said to always judge a date by how well they tip at dinner 1.0612 0.03460 49 46 3 0
7775 Which one is the odd one out? 1.0612 0.03460 49 46 3 0
7776 Besides multi-tasking,I make a great meatloaf! 1.0612 0.03460 49 46 3 0
7777 Dating in your thirties is so hard. 1.0612 0.03460 49 46 3 0
7778 I'm training for Paris 2024. 1.0612 0.03460 49 46 3 0
7779 I'm practicing for my Cat in the Hat gig. 1.0612 0.03460 49 46 3 0
7780 Zoom meeting in 15 minutes . Is lunch ready? 1.0612 0.03460 49 46 3 0
7781 Do any of these scare you or should I juggle one more Do any of these scare you 1.0606 0.03663 66 63 2 1
7782 Return to the 50’s…..‘The way to a man’s heart, is not just a meal’ 1.0606 0.02960 66 62 4 0
7783 I so hoped you could entertain yourself 1.0600 0.03393 50 47 3 0
7784 You’d be surprised that I struggle with work/life balance. 1.0600 0.03393 50 47 3 0
7785 So that's what she meant be "entertaining." 1.0600 0.03393 50 47 3 0
7786 Do you still doubt I can manage multiple boyfriends?" 1.0600 0.03393 50 47 3 0
7787 But honey, you know I don't like diet. 1.0600 0.03393 50 47 3 0
7788 As you can see, I’m tossing around a few things, not just ideas. 1.0600 0.03393 50 47 3 0
7789 If I wanted to sit around all day I’d be a teacher 1.0600 0.03393 50 47 3 0
7790 I can't possibly juggle motherhood and a job. 1.0600 0.03393 50 47 3 0
7791 This is actually much easier than COVID safety. 1.0600 0.03393 50 47 3 0
7792 This is my performance art piece about what it has been like to be a working mother during covid. 1.0600 0.03393 50 47 3 0
7793 Red Flag Olympic Games 2021 1.0600 0.03393 50 47 3 0
7794 Because, I'll never get a second chance to make a first impression. 1.0597 0.02916 67 63 4 0
7795 Just so ya know… 1.0597 0.02916 67 63 4 0
7796 :Its for my resume. juggling things at same time is prerequisite for job I want ." 1.0588 0.02875 68 64 4 0
7797 Yes. Absolutely safe, sir. The restaurant hired me because I was AGT's winner last season. 1.0588 0.03328 51 48 3 0
7798 That’s fine, but how are you at fellatio? 1.0588 0.03328 51 48 3 0
7799 Any allergies? 1.0588 0.03328 51 48 3 0
7800 That’s it? I’m drinking tap water. 1.0588 0.03328 51 48 3 0
7801 The manual says that as a server, you have to juggle a lot of things at the same time while remaining calm." 1.0588 0.03328 51 48 3 0
7802 This isn't how I remember Rock, Paper, Scissors, shoot, but I'm game! 1.0588 0.03328 51 48 3 0
7803 Should've just stuck to online dating with this username "wildcat_thundergirl" 😐 1.0588 0.03328 51 48 3 0
7804 Your online profile didn't list hobbies, so I brought a few. 1.0588 0.03328 51 48 3 0
7805 I get it. You’re single, hot, but also a ball and chain. 1.0588 0.03328 51 48 3 0
7806 …but no, the pussy ain’t yankin 1.0577 0.04266 52 50 1 1
7807 A rake's progress 1.0577 0.03265 52 49 3 0
7808 Our special today is a carbon fiber helmet with a kevlar bib. 1.0577 0.03265 52 49 3 0
7809 This is what it’s like when the economy 1.0577 0.03265 52 49 3 0
7810 Hey it’s the first time I get to show someone else what I’ve been working on in quarantine 1.0577 0.03265 52 49 3 0
7811 Remember, there’s a two-drink minimum. 1.0577 0.03265 52 49 3 0
7812 that girl has real talent 1.0566 0.03205 53 50 3 0
7813 Plus, we require no masks or vaccines. 1.0566 0.03205 53 50 3 0
7814 So how would you like to be sexually tortured tonight? 1.0566 0.03205 53 50 3 0
7815 I should really be wearing a mask in here. 1.0566 0.03205 53 50 3 0
7816 I told you, I wasn’t lying on my dating profile 1.0566 0.03205 53 50 3 0
7817 Yeah. Well, I still say not multi-tasking improves my performance. 1.0563 0.03409 71 68 2 1
7818 You’re bound to perk up with our new balanced, junk food diet. 1.0556 0.03146 54 51 3 0
7819 My third-date rotisserie football chops--that's when I really bring in the artillery. 1.0556 0.04109 54 52 1 1
7820 Maybe one more drink will awaken me from this multi-tasking self-help nightmare! 1.0556 0.04109 54 52 1 1
7821 Is this necessary for table side guacamole? 1.0556 0.03146 54 51 3 0
7822 Thanks for meeting me at this lunch place, boss. Now isn’t a great time for me to return to the office though. 1.0556 0.03146 54 51 3 0
7823 First Date! 1.0545 0.03090 55 52 3 0
7824 Are you sure this is what they meant with 'BYO'? 1.0545 0.03090 55 52 3 0
7825 I was going to confront her about her narcissism but we ran out of time. 1.0545 0.03090 55 52 3 0
7826 Nah, women are too kitschy to do manly things so better let them do all the things which are easy-peasy to us men..! 1.0545 0.03090 55 52 3 0
7827 Well, actually… 1.0536 0.03036 56 53 3 0
7828 I'm an accountant and this is what the formulas show on the 15th tab of our spreadsheets. 1.0536 0.03036 56 53 3 0
7829 You'll have to pass a qualifying round to determine if you're eligible. The legs refused to participate. 1.0536 0.03036 56 53 3 0
7830 So, Brad. How was your date with that cute secretary?" "Let me tell you, it was an effin' circus." "First, she got up on the table. Then she.... 1.0536 0.03036 56 53 3 0
7831 Welcome to my circus. 1.0536 0.03036 56 53 3 0
7832 Let's see if you can make the check disappear... 1.0536 0.03036 56 53 3 0
7833 I've had worse first dates, 1.0526 0.02984 57 54 3 0
7834 Our first date? I’m still up in the air on it. 1.0526 0.02984 57 54 3 0
7835 Well, like it says on my Tinder, I’m a down to Earth kind of person… 1.0526 0.02984 57 54 3 0
7836 I like to give a preview of my relationship skills starting as table tricks on first dates. 1.0517 0.02933 58 55 3 0
7837 . I can do it all, if you marry me. 1.0517 0.02933 58 55 3 0
7838 I told you to bring your wallet. 1.0508 0.02885 59 56 3 0
7839 You see, I’m giving you some solid arguments here. 1.0508 0.02885 59 56 3 0
7840 Just a typical Tuesday afternoon. 1.0508 0.02885 59 56 3 0
7841 I learned to juggle this past year. 1.0508 0.02885 59 56 3 0
7842 My ex told me that I act like a clown. 1.0508 0.02885 59 56 3 0
7843 Difficult? A piece of cake compared to making lunches, driving to school, dancing lessons, soccer practice etc. What have you been juggling? 1.0508 0.02885 59 56 3 0
7844 Our Iindividualised entertainment at your table will help you bear patience while we prepare your order. 1.0508 0.02885 59 56 3 0
7845 That’s very impressive, but can you do this?! 1.0508 0.02885 59 56 3 0
7846 Wow, very impressive. Congratulations, you’ve won the silver medal! 1.0500 0.02837 60 57 3 0
7847 I b’lieve it’s ‘sing’ for your supper, not Schwin. 1.0500 0.02837 60 57 3 0
7848 So you really weren’t lying in your tinder profile 1.0500 0.03490 40 38 2 0
7849 Side hustle culture really got to you during the pandemic 1.0500 0.03701 60 58 1 1
7850 It's funny you ask....YES...I can multi-task !! Mary-Frances Altaner, Medford, New Yor 1.0492 0.02792 61 58 3 0
7851 Ok I'm impressed, but can you even lean in on that thing? 1.0488 0.03406 41 39 2 0
7852 And now, for my most dangerous trick of all: eating with you sans masks. 1.0484 0.02747 62 59 3 0
7853 Whether or not to give the juggler and my purse to turn it with the other objects 1.0476 0.03326 42 40 2 0
7854 Stay safe outside! 1.0469 0.02663 64 61 3 0
7855 . Hey John, nice to meet you. I'm a Sagittarian, what's your sign? 1.0469 0.02663 64 61 3 0
7856 It's tough finding jobs these days! 1.0465 0.03249 43 41 2 0
7857 See, no problem of throwing you into the mix! 1.0465 0.03249 43 41 2 0
7858 She always wanted to be a circus artist 1.0465 0.03249 43 41 2 0
7859 Before we go much further in our relationship, you should know what turns me on. Dave Coriaty Fishers, Indiana 317-727-3201 1.0462 0.02623 65 62 3 0
7860 Did you scroll down to the anger management comment? 1.0455 0.03177 44 42 2 0
7861 Refill your drink? 1.0455 0.04545 44 43 0 1
7862 Our "Special" tonight is Pan-Roasted Muscovy Duck Breast with Black Rice and a Yellow Nectarine Chutney 1.0444 0.03107 45 43 2 0
7863 Have you ever had vertigo? 1.0444 0.03107 45 43 2 0
7864 Linda, its impreaaive but not quite what i meant by "work life balance" 1.0444 0.03107 45 43 2 0
7865 I'm sure that people genuinely enjoy 'Young Sheldon' but I am not interested in giving it a shot. 1.0429 0.02438 70 67 3 0
7866 And I can make a mean fettuccine Alfredo 1.0426 0.02976 47 45 2 0
7867 They send the beef through here, and it turns out perfectly cooked and seasoned. 1.0426 0.02976 47 45 2 0
7868 My profile said I'm adventureson and spontaneous" 1.0423 0.02404 71 68 3 0
7869 So things got out of hand? 1.0417 0.02915 48 46 2 0
7870 ...because it's easier than juggling our schedules these days. 1.0408 0.02856 49 47 2 0
7871 potion — Yesterday at 3:53 PM Finally some good pussy 1.0408 0.02856 49 47 2 0
7872 ..and still i can´t manage your attitude 1.0408 0.02856 49 47 2 0
7873 What I will do for a meal. I hope I don't fail and my props end up cutting off your flaming balls. 1.0405 0.02308 74 71 3 0
7874 I'm Caitlin and I'll be your server tonight. 1.0400 0.02799 50 48 2 0
7875 All things I’d rather do than be on this date… 1.0400 0.02799 50 48 2 0
7876 Does the bathroom have curtains? 1.0392 0.03922 51 50 0 1
7877 Check please 1.0385 0.02693 52 50 2 0
7878 Sure, you can throw a relationship into the rotation. 1.0385 0.02693 52 50 2 0
7879 I’ll be adding a blindfold for AGT. 1.0377 0.02643 53 51 2 0
7880 I’m doing this until Kanye drops his next album. 1.0377 0.02643 53 51 2 0
7881 I thought you said "Turkish" - not "circus" 1.0370 0.02594 54 52 2 0
7882 Food for the eyes. 1.0364 0.02547 55 53 2 0
7883 Date night on fast day. 1.0357 0.02502 56 54 2 0
7884 Ok, but could she work, take care of the children and me? 1.0345 0.02417 58 56 2 0
7885 It's like being married, without the in-laws. 1.0339 0.02376 59 57 2 0
7886 ...and I'm not taking a pay cut to just go do what I want. 1.0339 0.02376 59 57 2 0
7887 just handling climate change, the pandemic and my declining social life - date me? 1.0328 0.02299 61 59 2 0
7888 Remember when “Dinner Theater” wasn’t a “Socially Distanced” solo? 1.0323 0.02262 62 60 2 0
7889 I was expecting a LAP dance not a jogler 1.0323 0.02262 62 60 2 0
7890 How to be a server in 2021 1.0323 0.02262 62 60 2 0
7891 See honey, we get so much more done when we work from home. 1.0317 0.02227 63 61 2 0
7892 Glad we found time to go out for dinner. 1.0294 0.02064 68 66 2 0
7893 I hope you don't mind, I forgot to bring my katana. 1.0286 0.02899 35 34 1 0
7894 I’m practicing in case 'juggling' becomes an Olympic event in Paris. 1.0244 0.02469 41 40 1 0
7895 ”Is there anything ELSE I can do for you or shall I bring you your check? 1.0238 0.02410 42 41 1 0
7896 Yeah, so that’s my deal. What about you? How many siblings do you have?” @beckylovesthi 1.0217 0.02198 46 45 1 0
7897 quick ! take your pick Cheers! 1.0213 0.02151 47 46 1 0
7898 You did order the 'cycle of life' right? 1.0213 0.02151 47 46 1 0
7899 Benihanas!?! We call Benihahas. 1.0208 0.02105 48 47 1 0
7900 Those are the only specials? 1.0208 0.02105 48 47 1 0
7901 My Republican campaign advisor told me I was slipping a bit in the polls. 1.0208 0.02105 48 47 1 0
7902 I call it my rain forest, fossil fuels, heating the planet act. Mike Turcotte, Wells ME 1.0200 0.02020 50 49 1 0
7903 I got tired of hearing I wasn’t trying hard enough to get a job. 1.0200 0.02020 50 49 1 0
7904 Dating’s a real balancing act these days 1.0200 0.02020 50 49 1 0
7905 My life coach told me that I need a better work/life balance. 1.0196 0.01980 51 50 1 0
7906 Okay, cool, but where is the flaming onion volcano? 1.0196 0.01980 51 50 1 0
7907 Still less dangerous than cancel culture 1.0196 0.01980 51 50 1 0
7908 And for my next trick, I'll be serving you lunch while I balance these items! 1.0189 0.01905 53 52 1 0
7909 This, honey, is juggling it all. 1.0179 0.01802 56 55 1 0
7910 Julie? Oh, yes, she's taking a little time off, but after she completes physical therapy, she should be back as good as new. 1.0159 0.01600 63 62 1 0
7911 If “I don’t trust the vaccines” we’re a person. 1.0000 0.02105 48 48 0 0