Contest #762


Cartoon

762

The winning captions

These captions are chosen by The New Yorker.

  1. “We’re really looking for someone with more lab experience.”
  2. “Do you have any experience working in a fast-paced environment?”
  3. “You will still get nowhere—it will just take longer.”


Name Value
Submission deadline 2021-07-04T22:45:00.000Z
Voting started -
Voting ended 2021-07-25T22:46:00.000Z
Finalists announced 2021-07-19T22:45:00.000Z
Magazine(s) announcing finalists issued July 26, 2021
Number of captions 7076
Number of responses 901611
Number of participants -


Dashboard

In this table, the "mean" means the empirically measured average funniness score when the "unfunny", "somewhat funny" and "funny" receive a funniness score of 1, 2, 3 respectively. "Precison" is the standard error of the mean, the standard deviation of the mean estimate. With that, a caption with an empirical mean μ and precision σ has true mean in the range [μ - 2σ, μ + 2σ] with 95% probability by the 68-95-99.7 rule assuming the responses are indepedent and identically distributed.

Rank Caption Mean Precision Total votes "Unfunny" votes "Somewhat funny" votes "Funny" votes
0 First, let me bring you up to speed. 1.8688 0.01397 3431 1403 1075 953
1 You're cold blooded. You belong in upper management. 1.8159 0.01073 5860 2616 1707 1537
2 Well for starters, you were 4 days late to the interview. 1.8052 0.00991 6364 2731 2142 1491
3 Tell us something about yourself. Where do you see yourself in half an hour? 1.7951 0.01073 5677 2554 1732 1391
4 I'll be honest, you're our diversity hire. 1.7843 0.01074 5479 2449 1763 1267
5 It's not actually enough that you identify as a hamster. 1.7801 0.01015 6467 3023 1843 1601
6 You'll be powering Texas. 1.7799 0.01096 5661 2684 1539 1438
7 Yes,they're all blind but see how they run? 1.7793 0.01137 5020 2306 1516 1198
8 Look, I’m not gonna give you the run-around. It’s a go-nowhere job, but you can work at your own pace. 1.7787 0.01046 5517 2409 1920 1188
9 I understand you beat a hare, but this is a rat race 1.7772 0.01039 6020 2775 1811 1434
10 You will still get nowhere; it will just take longer. 1.7690 0.01052 5636 2559 1820 1257
11 However, the 130 years of experience on your resume is admirable 1.7655 0.01107 4831 2129 1706 996
12 Yes, you beat the hare. But this is a rat race. 1.7625 0.01157 4690 2161 1482 1047
13 Slow and steady meets down the hall. These guys are here for the rat race. 1.7624 0.01050 5631 2574 1821 1236
14 Sure, you beat the hare...but this is the rat race. 1.7588 0.01232 4108 1896 1307 905
15 We're really looking for someone with more lab experience. 1.7575 0.01109 4912 2222 1659 1031
16 The job is pointless, exhausting, and will get you absolutely nowhere. When can you start? 1.7568 0.01331 3515 1626 1118 771
17 First spin class?” 1.7537 0.01152 4583 2098 1516 969
18 But I think we may have an opening for you over at the wheels of justice. 1.7532 0.01310 4020 2005 1002 1013
19 Actually, I think working remotely might be better for you. 1.7532 0.02408 1013 453 357 203
20 I should warn you that turnover is fairly high. 1.7493 0.01555 2485 1136 836 513
21 This is the circulation department. You want the mail room. 1.7423 0.02031 1533 733 462 338
22 In one month, I'll have you getting nowhere faster than ever. 1.7417 0.01513 2675 1254 858 563
23 - just then Steve realized why lying on his resume could be a problem 1.7403 0.01709 2183 1053 644 486
24 You may be in the wrong metaphor. 1.7401 0.01466 2859 1346 910 603
25 It's the blind mice - they'll never know. 1.7379 0.01465 2945 1417 883 645
26 You must be the temp. 1.7374 0.01378 3111 1435 1058 618
27 Good, I see you brought your helmet. 1.7368 0.01351 3340 1573 1073 694
28 These wheels provide power to Google, Facebook and Twitter. You’ll be assigned to the DMV wheel. 1.7357 0.01503 2910 1442 795 673
29 We don’t usually hire tortoises, but it’s not every day we find an applicant with 189 years of work experience. 1.7357 0.01599 2353 1101 773 479
30 Technically you work from home already. 1.7313 0.01423 3123 1519 924 680
31 You understand we're paid in cheese? 1.7311 0.01393 3046 1419 1027 600
32 So the wheel is out. Tell me about your maze experience. 1.7309 0.02174 1215 556 430 229
33 Now would be a good time to mention if you lied on your résumé. 1.7306 0.01879 1689 792 560 337
34 You sounded a lot…faster over the phone. 1.7301 0.01960 1504 692 526 286
35 For you we’ll need to reinvent the wheel. 1.7285 0.01504 2652 1253 866 533
36 The main thing is just to look busy. 1.7272 0.01451 2812 1320 939 553
37 To be honest, you were a diversity hire. 1.7244 0.01529 2652 1288 807 557
38 Don't tell me. You're from the control group, right? 1.7188 0.01946 1540 726 521 293
39 You do understand that there is no finish line? 1.7185 0.02095 1293 600 457 236
40 To fit in here, you're going to have to come out of your shell. 1.7142 0.01636 2169 1028 733 408
41 Your appointment was last Tuesday. 1.7123 0.01679 2120 1026 678 416
42 So now that you outran a hare you think you’re ready for the rat race? 1.7115 0.01679 2066 985 692 389
43 We've had a lot of turnover. 1.7094 0.01641 2085 976 739 370
44 All my clients looked like you when they signed up. 1.7056 0.01772 1916 941 598 377
45 Welcome to your first day working at the Electric Reliability Council of Texas, I'll show you to your generator. 1.7051 0.01877 1848 954 485 409
46 Do you have any experience working in a fast-paced environment? 1.7032 0.01755 1823 862 640 321
47 What do you mean what’s the point? 1.7023 0.01858 1767 880 533 354
48 Trust me, all of their before pictures look just like you. 1.7014 0.01860 1735 857 539 339
49 It's clean renewable energy! I don't see how even you could oppose that, Senator McConnell. 1.6996 0.02180 1365 709 357 299
50 Looks like you already have a hard body 1.6967 0.01913 1655 828 501 326
51 Our turnover rate is high. 1.6954 0.01887 1638 803 531 304
52 The interview was last week. 1.6952 0.02004 1483 736 463 284
53 The hare’s running behind. If he doesn’t show in five, it’s yours. 1.6938 0.01920 1548 751 520 277
54 Expired?! I literally bought my membership online and then walked here 1.6935 0.02002 1530 775 449 306
55 Well, OK, but if you end up on your back you’re on your own. 1.6933 0.01902 1562 754 533 275
56 You’re the diversity hire. 1.6918 0.01946 1541 760 496 285
57 It says here you were a teenage ninja? 1.6913 0.01974 1487 731 484 272
58 May I suggest the water aerobics class as a better option? 1.6890 0.02060 1270 601 463 206
59 I hope you're up to this. Our whole diversity program is riding on your success. 1.6865 0.03086 622 312 193 117
60 Yes, we do have a lot of employee turnover. 1.6846 0.02058 1335 654 448 233
61 It may take you a while to get up to speed. 1.6839 0.02073 1332 658 437 237
62 What if I told you that three weeks before they purchased the "Wheel" they looked JUST LIKE YOU. 1.6820 0.03083 607 302 196 109
63 I'm not on the list but my therapist prescribed group aerobics to get me out of my shell. 1.6818 0.02577 858 424 283 151
64 I’m sorry, but slow and steady is not what we do here. 1.6813 0.02541 844 407 299 138
65 We had you down for yesterday. 1.6794 0.02109 1254 615 426 213
66 I know who you are, but that was one race against one rabbit. 1.6787 0.02187 1270 655 368 247
67 Welcome to Animal Planet Fitness. You're here for yesterday's spin class? 1.6787 0.02200 1273 662 358 253
68 How would you say you perform in a fast-paced environment? 1.6776 0.02094 1216 583 442 191
69 So tell me, have you worked in city government before? 1.6754 0.02231 1223 635 350 238
70 Where do you see yourself in 150 years? 1.6753 0.02260 1192 619 341 232
71 Sorry, but we’re actually looking for employees who enjoy going nowhere fast.” 1.6730 0.02233 1159 586 366 207
72 You can’t go nowhere slow. You have to go nowhere fast. 1.6711 0.02256 1119 563 361 195
73 The good news is you’ll experience a runner’s high in approximately three years. 1.6708 0.02297 1124 579 336 209
74 I’m just saying, this might not be the spin class for you 1.6706 0.02246 1181 610 350 221
75 You should see this as a great opportunity to come out of your shell 1.6663 0.02333 1037 523 337 177
76 And you're three days late because...? 1.6655 0.02542 867 436 285 146
77 We encourage you to work at your own pace. 1.6633 0.02268 1004 485 372 147
78 Might be more comfortable without all that safety gear. 1.6631 0.02308 1027 512 349 166
79 Sorry sir but this is a rat-race” 1.6623 0.02450 992 519 289 184
80 Did you even read the job description? 1.6621 0.02362 1018 519 324 175
81 Remember, it's about the journey, not the destination. 1.6618 0.02315 1035 521 343 171
82 I respect that you self-identify as a rat, but the answer is still no. 1.6603 0.02461 995 526 281 188
83 And this is your first spin class? 1.6600 0.03211 550 281 175 94
84 As you can see, this job does have some turnover. 1.6585 0.02363 981 493 330 158
85 Sadly, there aren't many opportunities for advancement. 1.6570 0.02432 933 472 309 152
86 Never expected to see you here, Mr. McConnell. 1.6557 0.02689 915 514 202 199
87 I have to warn you that slow and steady typically results in an electric shock here. 1.6555 0.02589 897 477 252 168
88 Welcome to the job, Let’s get you up to speed. 1.6551 0.02461 890 446 305 139
89 You’re late. 1.6537 0.02562 875 455 268 152
90 Perhaps you’d like to start with our trial membership. 1.6509 0.02463 888 448 302 138
91 The pace of work in Legal may be a better fit for you. 1.6506 0.02602 870 461 252 157
92 ‘Your interview was 4 days ago.’ 1.6490 0.02587 866 456 258 152
93 Everyone lies on their resume. 1.6489 0.02521 863 441 284 138
94 I didn't say you weren't fit, I said you can't fit. 1.6472 0.02567 890 473 258 159
95 Here’s the thing, no one actually wins the race. 1.6468 0.02524 855 437 283 135
96 What'll it take to get you into one of these babies today? 1.6467 0.02745 835 462 206 167
97 Did the temp agency describe the job? 1.6466 0.02522 849 432 285 132
98 Congratulations! By beating the hare you are now qualified to join the rat race. 1.6466 0.02667 863 471 226 166
99 Incredible, isn’t it? Six weeks ago, they looked just like you! 1.6459 0.02693 833 451 226 156
100 Admittedly, we have high turnover. 1.6455 0.02510 852 433 288 131
101 Sorry, man… we’re more into getting nowhere fast. 1.6455 0.02739 818 447 214 157
102 Slow and steady is old school, we're looking for fast and stupid. 1.6446 0.02923 664 348 204 112
103 Give it to me straight, was beating the hare just resume padding? 1.6440 0.02643 778 399 257 122
104 You don’t need to exercise, you will outlive us all. 1.6437 0.02685 783 410 242 131
105 Um, your reservation was for 2017. 1.6423 0.02678 808 430 237 141
106 Sorry. It’s called a rat race for a reason. 1.6422 0.02698 805 431 231 143
107 Buddy, it’s called a rat race for a reason 1.6416 0.02622 823 433 252 138
108 Choose any one. I'm sure they'll all be done before you get there. 1.6415 0.02678 795 420 240 135
109 Have you tried a spin class before? 1.6398 0.02664 794 418 244 132
110 Slow and steady doesn’t really help here. 1.6392 0.02598 765 385 271 109
111 it’s outta my hands Richard … the guys in the white lab coats tell me I gotta let ya go 1.6390 0.02730 748 392 234 122
112 Spin class isn’t for everybody 1.6383 0.02732 752 396 232 124
113 If you like going nowhere fast, this is the job for you. 1.6372 0.02799 747 403 212 132
114 It says here you beat a rabbit. 1.6372 0.02760 769 415 218 136
115 Look, those people who told you "do what you love"...they were lying. 1.6367 0.02984 622 326 196 100
116 I’ll be honest, our turnover rate is pretty high. 1.6356 0.02792 719 380 221 118
117 It's best that you continue working from home. 1.6347 0.02753 709 367 234 108
118 It was your reference from the hare that put you over the top. 1.6335 0.02827 704 374 214 116
119 Look, slow and steady is not a fitness goal. 1.6333 0.02833 739 404 202 133
120 You'll be fine. We're not hamsters either. 1.6333 0.02761 709 369 231 109
121 This is New York. To enter the ratrace, you have to come out of your shell. 1.6322 0.02961 658 355 190 113
122 In your resume you sounded... furrier. 1.6313 0.02769 716 377 226 113
123 Our spin class will really help you come out of your shell. 1.6304 0.02845 690 367 211 112
124 It’s not strictly about speed. You can earn points for style. 1.6280 0.02774 672 345 232 95
125 I thought we were done with the diversity hires after they gave me these 3 blind mice 1.6274 0.02956 671 368 185 118
126 This is the rat race. The one for tortoises and hares was last week. 1.6269 0.02899 654 347 204 103
127 Sir, your reservation was for two hours ago. 1.6269 0.02864 662 349 211 102
128 Let me get this straight: You want to train for an Aesop fable?! 1.6264 0.03061 613 333 176 104
129 Sorry fella, you want the rabbit race. This is the rat race. 1.6236 0.03030 643 356 173 114
130 I don't care that you identify as a hamster. 1.6235 0.03066 656 372 159 125
131 What will it take to get you in that wheel today? 1.6235 0.02903 656 351 201 104
132 Those three looked just like you when they started 1.6221 0.03074 606 331 173 102
133 Of course you’re not just a diversity hire. 1.6216 0.02934 629 334 199 96
134 Loved what you did with the Hare. This is going to be a little different. . . 1.6210 0.02929 649 350 195 104
135 So, your résumé says you beat a hare? 1.6206 0.02889 651 347 204 100
136 Senator McConnell? You're late. 1.6189 0.03341 593 352 115 126
137 We encourage all employees to work at their own pace. 1.6180 0.02938 589 305 204 80
138 For a low monthly fee, you can go nowhere at your own pace. 1.6178 0.03025 594 318 185 91
139 But…. I identify as a hamster. 1.6139 0.03202 575 323 151 101
140 Trust me, once you get up to speed, you'll love being back in the office. 1.6120 0.03022 598 324 182 92
141 A spinning class is just what you need to get out of your shell. 1.6105 0.03216 570 322 148 100
142 If you have to ask what the point is, maybe it just isn’t for you. 1.6104 0.03196 539 294 161 84
143 Yes I am aware, but I identify as a mouse 1.6098 0.03225 551 307 152 92
144 See the difference is, you get someplace slowly, we get no place fast. 1.6085 0.03310 544 310 137 97
145 To be honest, you should probably start with a day pass. 1.6071 0.03175 537 292 164 81
146 I’m sorry but your reservation was for two hours ago. 1.6066 0.03121 544 293 172 79
147 I need the grant. Try." 1.6056 0.03141 535 288 170 77
148 Welcome. We’ve been placing a new emphasis on diversity hires … 1.6055 0.03085 545 291 178 76
149 I suggest that you come back on a slow day. 1.6055 0.03273 512 281 152 79
150 Before you start the job we need to get you up to speed. 1.6040 0.03040 548 290 185 73
151 Must be a typo. We advertised "hair-raising" , not "hare racing." 1.6012 0.03398 519 300 126 93
152 You looked different on the Zoom interview 1.6008 0.03284 501 275 151 75
153 Are you certain? We charge by the hour. 1.6000 0.03164 495 261 171 63
154 I just don’t think this is in your wheelhouse. 1.5992 0.03185 509 274 165 70
155 Well of course they’re having trouble. They’re blind. 1.5988 0.03440 501 289 124 88
156 Well, Matt Gaetz, Marjorie Taylor Greene, and Ted Cruz are spinning their wheels, but you, Senator McConnell, would just slooooow evvvvverything dowwwwwn. 1.5985 0.03324 523 298 137 88
157 I don't care how many rabbits you beat. 1.5981 0.03237 525 292 152 81
158 Sorry, even with your own protective gear, you still need to sign our liability waiver. 1.5970 0.03299 474 256 153 65
159 I've gotta be honest: we have a high turnover. 1.5961 0.03170 510 275 166 69
160 Any references besides Aesop? 1.5960 0.03376 500 284 134 82
161 We need you to skew the data 1.5955 0.03361 487 272 140 75
162 This is a Spin Class. I believe you’re looking for Water Aerobics? 1.5950 0.03294 516 291 143 82
163 Says here you once outraced a rabbit. 1.5949 0.03226 506 277 157 72
164 Yes, I found an appointment in your name for 3:00 pm July 6th . . . 2019. 1.5948 0.03300 501 279 146 76
165 Sorry, it says here your job interview was last week. 1.5935 0.03350 460 250 147 63
166 I'm just saying, it's supposed to be about the journey, not the destination. 1.5924 0.03205 503 274 160 69
167 I understand you have a hard shell sir, but everyone signs the waiver. It’s company policy. 1.5924 0.03399 471 263 137 71
168 I'm sorry, but it IS called the RAT race, after all... 1.5910 0.03382 467 259 140 68
169 We have tons of other cardio options, have you seen our pool 1.5905 0.03371 464 256 142 66
170 ‘I’m sorry, we’re really looking for someone who can hit the ground running.’ 1.5903 0.03463 476 273 125 78
171 We're looking to hire a number of turtles in an effort to reduce turnover. 1.5897 0.03308 507 287 141 79
172 Welcome back to the office. Shells are no longer required. 1.5896 0.03308 463 251 151 61
173 No, I am NOT “body shaming” you. It just won’t work. 1.5881 0.03358 454 248 145 61
174 A quarter rotation today. You’re improving! 1.5874 0.03254 446 235 160 51
175 They're bringing out the cheese soon so don't worry, you'll have this place to yourself. 1.5869 0.03370 472 264 139 69
176 Right. Um … so … other than your patience, what else do you feel best suits you for this position? 1.5867 0.03425 467 264 132 71
177 What do you mean, you're shutting it down because we're not getting anywhere?! 1.5866 0.03529 433 243 126 64
178 Doesn't matter. You still only get 20 minutes. 1.5857 0.03490 449 254 127 68
179 How are you with mazes? 1.5853 0.03435 463 262 131 70
180 The only opening we have is the Texas Power Grid. But if you don’t mind me saying so, sir, I think you’re a perfect fit. 1.5839 0.03723 435 259 98 78
181 It's a triple blind mice study. 1.5830 0.03383 470 265 136 69
182 No, this is the line for the rat race. 1.5830 0.03493 458 263 123 72
183 We're looking for someone who can keep a steady pace for the next 150 years. 1.5821 0.03576 414 232 123 59
184 Start at your own pace. 1.5820 0.03471 433 241 132 60
185 This is a rat race, the hare is next door 1.5814 0.03564 442 255 117 70
186 The hare told me I’d be a fool not to hire you. 1.5785 0.03526 446 257 120 69
187 According to this, your membership expired five years ago. 1.5780 0.03655 410 235 113 62
188 Here are three blind mice. See how they run. 1.5772 0.03549 421 238 123 60
189 Here, there are no winners 1.5763 0.03503 413 229 130 54
190 It can’t be that hard; I won my last race. 1.5761 0.03511 427 241 126 60
191 Everyone starts off in training wheels. 1.5758 0.03635 396 223 118 55
192 Sorry, you're in the wrong metaphor. 1.5754 0.03639 398 225 117 56
193 Actually, there was a typo in the ad. It should have said "full throttle" not full turtle. 1.5751 0.03726 386 220 110 56
194 Have you read the job description? 1.5747 0.03572 395 219 125 51
195 Are you sure you want to join the rat race? 1.5743 0.03546 404 225 126 53
196 I'm sorry but your reservation was for two weeks ago. 1.5742 0.03534 411 230 126 55
197 You have fun, you don't have fun; it's still five tickets. 1.5733 0.03723 389 223 109 57
198 Your reservation was for three years ago. 1.5725 0.03679 407 236 109 62
199 Final question, have you been underneath the refrigerator or inside any walls in the past 14 days? 1.5714 0.03670 413 241 108 64
200 Our rates are either by the hour or by the lap. For you I’d recommend by the lap. 1.5707 0.03563 417 238 120 59
201 The hare story is impressive, but can you handle having no goal? 1.5703 0.03717 370 208 113 49
202 Are you the diversity hire? 1.5689 0.03738 399 234 103 62
203 Do you identify as a hamster? 1.5689 0.03738 399 234 103 62
204 Sure, but less literally, it's about the futility of capitalism. 1.5683 0.03627 410 237 113 60
205 Sorry, it's a rat race! 1.5681 0.03886 382 228 91 63
206 I wasn't a gym rat either. But look at me now. 1.5668 0.03668 397 229 111 57
207 Just forget everything you know about 'slow and steady.' 1.5665 0.03732 376 215 109 52
208 I’m sorry but there’s a reason it’s called a rat race. 1.5663 0.03651 392 224 114 54
209 The others are tired of having to flip you back over. 1.5656 0.03726 389 226 106 57
210 I’m sorry sir, but this is a rat race. 1.5645 0.03725 372 212 110 50
211 Actually, it's taken . . but I have a maze I think I could fit you into . . 1.5645 0.03783 349 196 109 44
212 Which category? Speed or endurance? 1.5640 0.03586 383 214 122 47
213 If you want to join the rat race, you are going to have to come out of your shell. 1.5636 0.03721 385 223 107 55
214 I notice you only worked for one day at the Amazon warehouse 1.5633 0.03760 387 227 102 58
215 As I mentioned in the ad, we are a very fast-paced environment. 1.5628 0.03671 366 205 116 45
216 Why, yes. We do experience quite a high turnover rate in this line of work. 1.5623 0.03904 345 199 98 48
217 I take it you don’t usually come to spin class. 1.5620 0.03684 395 230 108 57
218 This is Sprints. Marathons down the hall, on the right. 1.5618 0.03546 372 204 127 41
219 I'm sorry, but your reservation was for last week. 1.5611 0.04018 360 218 82 60
220 Listen barry, i get that you identify as a mouse... 1.5610 0.03935 344 200 95 49
221 Wrong door. "Slow and Steady" is down the hall. 1.5607 0.03671 387 223 111 53
222 Are you sure you understand the qualifications? 1.5605 0.03723 380 220 107 53
223 Remember, it's the journey not the destination. 1.5601 0.03918 341 197 97 47
224 But would you consider working remotely -- say, from our Galapagos office? 1.5598 0.03945 343 200 94 49
225 Yes, it always fills up right after the New Year. 1.5595 0.03643 370 208 117 45
226 Look I’m glad you’re coming out of your shell but the rat race just isn’t for you. 1.5593 0.03871 354 206 98 50
227 Victory over hare duly noted, but not in the skill set we're looking for. 1.5591 0.03735 381 222 105 54
228 It's a complete waste of time, but it beats writing cartoon captions. 1.5587 0.03935 349 205 93 51
229 We’re hoping you can help show the other employees the value of pacing themselves. 1.5587 0.03561 349 188 127 34
230 Sorry, I think you’re in the wrong cliché 1.5586 0.04014 333 195 90 48
231 On the other hand, you get paid by the hour. 1.5584 0.03687 385 223 109 53
232 You’re late. We started without you. 1.5583 0.03761 360 206 107 47
233 You say you want a revolution. You mean, like, one revolution. 1.5581 0.03921 353 208 93 52
234 So your therapist thinks this may help you come out of your shell, huh? 1.5580 0.03555 371 205 125 41
235 I think you want the Tai Chi class next door 1.5575 0.03616 348 190 122 36
236 You're late. The test was yesterday. 1.5572 0.03932 332 191 97 44
237 You don't quite look as nimble as your headshot. 1.5568 0.03802 370 217 100 53
238 Better Late Than Never 1.5565 0.03934 354 210 91 53
239 Where do you see yourself in five years? 1.5552 0.03787 362 210 103 49
240 You're in luck. We recently added a "slow and steady" membership plan. 1.5552 0.03602 353 194 122 37
241 I can't explain it. It's really addictive. 1.5545 0.04011 321 186 92 43
242 I bring diversity to the sport. 1.5544 0.03614 377 214 117 46
243 Don't be discouraged! The main thing is you're here; you walked through those doors and you're ready to make a change. 1.5543 0.03700 368 211 110 47
244 I don’t give a rat’s ass. You’re late! 1.5530 0.03831 349 202 101 46
245 You really don't look anything like your photo. 1.5529 0.03818 340 194 104 42
246 Frankly, we could use a little 'slow and steady' in the office. What we're currently doing is a disaster. 1.5521 0.03782 355 205 104 46
247 If you can get on, be my guest. 1.5512 0.03888 332 191 99 42
248 You better be good. We turned down a rabbit for this because of you. 1.5510 0.03905 343 201 95 47
249 You identify as a hamster? Cool. I identify as Walter Cronkite 1.5507 0.04099 345 212 76 57
250 The point? I'm not sure I understand your question. 1.5495 0.04041 313 182 90 41
251 Sir, I understand it took you forever to get here and that’s kind of the point. 1.5491 0.03895 326 187 99 40
252 I'm sorry. They sent you to the wrong department. This is the rat race. 1.5491 0.03990 326 191 91 44
253 You going for distance or time? 1.5489 0.04003 317 184 92 41
254 So,what are your fitness goals? 1.5485 0.03954 330 193 93 44
255 You’ll be perfect for the Senate. Sit over there. 1.5475 0.04148 305 180 83 42
256 I know but let’s be honest, the rabbit fell asleep. 1.5475 0.03842 358 212 96 50
257 Try to fit in 1.5469 0.03824 320 180 105 35
258 We offer endless opportunity for advancement. 1.5460 0.03992 326 192 90 44
259 Have you talked to the swim team? 1.5452 0.03890 332 193 97 42
260 Can you explain the 10 year gap since you beat the hare? 1.5452 0.03942 310 177 97 36
261 You're on wheel #3 in 40 minutes, try not to be late! 1.5444 0.03877 349 207 94 48
262 Sorry, you’re just not cut out for the rat race. 1.5438 0.03805 331 189 104 38
263 Sure, we go nowhere. But FAST! 1.5437 0.03979 309 178 94 37
264 And the best part is, you get to work from home 1.5434 0.04012 311 181 91 39
265 Just in case you get stuck on your back, sign this waiver of liability. 1.5433 0.03842 335 194 100 41
266 ‘We’re looking to diversify our workforce’ 1.5432 0.04011 324 192 88 44
267 No. Your metaphor is down the hall in 403; the room with the hare. 1.5432 0.03896 359 217 89 53
268 Who’s Kafka? 1.5418 0.03924 323 188 95 40
269 You’re gonna need to come out of your shell. 1.5415 0.03976 301 172 95 34
270 Don't worry. You're all gonna arrive at the same time. 1.5414 0.03958 314 182 94 38
271 The rules state - No protective gear allowed. 1.5405 0.03997 296 169 94 33
272 Our preliminary results suggest you guys actually do better in the long run. 1.5405 0.04110 296 173 86 37
273 So, tell us more about this ‘slow and steady’… 1.5399 0.03849 326 188 100 38
274 I won't sugarcoat it Jeff: your numbers are down. 1.5394 0.04056 317 189 85 43
275 Diversity? Hell no, this is a rat race! 1.5387 0.04210 297 178 78 41
276 Yes, I know you beat the hare 1.5379 0.04088 290 168 88 34
277 Speed is not the issue Carl, it's the extra weight that concerns me 1.5367 0.04070 300 176 87 37
278 I will need you to sign this release form in case of shell shock. 1.5362 0.04110 304 181 83 40
279 Sorry, the Maze was yesterday. 1.5358 0.03994 321 191 88 42
280 I know the power is out... we're working as fast as we can. 1.5356 0.04260 295 179 74 42
281 Congratulations again on beating the hare. We're very excited to work with you. 1.5345 0.04160 275 159 85 31
282 Nothing personal, but you're a fucking turtle. 1.5341 0.04326 337 221 52 64
283 I'm racing the hare next month and want to work on my stamina. 1.5324 0.03821 293 163 104 26
284 I’m sorry but even the job posting stated this is a fast-paced work environment. 1.5324 0.04087 293 172 86 35
285 We’re looking for a change of pace 1.5319 0.04146 282 165 84 33
286 So you’re the new diversity hire, huh? 1.5315 0.04103 286 167 86 33
287 What took you so long? 1.5300 0.04226 283 169 78 36
288 Ok...We'll start you off slow. 1.5300 0.03904 300 172 97 31
289 Ok, so we definitely should have asked for your species on the application form, that's on us. 1.5298 0.04114 285 167 85 33
290 I'm afraid you're just not cut out for the rat race, sir. 1.5294 0.04130 289 171 83 35
291 Like I said, fast-paced work environment. 1.5288 0.04011 295 172 90 33
292 Are you trying to lose weight or gain muscle? 1.5286 0.04047 297 175 87 35
293 As a matter of fact, they are blind, yes. 1.5286 0.04138 280 164 84 32
294 I'll need a doctor's note. 1.5282 0.04244 284 171 76 37
295 We’re more than just a shell company. 1.5282 0.04064 284 165 88 31
296 You're late due to a bad hare day? 1.5282 0.04155 284 168 82 34
297 You're what we call the control subject. 1.5275 0.04280 273 163 76 34
298 My boss is gonna kill me, but I think you should try our pay-by-the-mile plan instead. 1.5274 0.04268 292 179 72 41
299 We were impressed by your performance against the hare 1.5263 0.04085 285 167 86 32
300 Scientifically, we still can't figure out how you beat the rabbit. 1.5259 0.04252 270 160 78 32
301 Thanks for joining the team. We really need a change of pace around here. 1.5258 0.03993 291 169 91 31
302 Listen, it may win the race, but it won’t generate the power we need. 1.5254 0.03953 295 171 93 31
303 Sometimes you just have to come out of your shell and try new things. 1.5250 0.04077 280 163 87 30
304 No, but I like your attitude. 1.5249 0.04293 261 154 77 30
305 Late again for spin class. What's you excuse this time? 1.5243 0.04385 267 162 70 35
306 I really think my spin class will help you break out of your shell. 1.5243 0.03850 309 179 98 32
307 Due to our high turnover rate we'd like to try your slow and steady approach. 1.5241 0.04017 311 187 85 39
308 Sorry, but your resume shows you lack experience in getting nowhere fast. 1.5240 0.04213 292 178 75 39
309 You're ready for the Hare, Frank. You don't need us anymore. 1.5236 0.04278 296 184 69 43
310 This IS the beginners class. 1.5235 0.04265 277 167 75 35
311 I think you're better suited for upper management 1.5233 0.04468 258 157 67 34
312 Where do I see myself in five years? You're kidding, right? 1.5229 0.04416 262 159 69 34
313 You won’t beat him again with that slow and steady crap. 1.5227 0.04325 264 158 74 32
314 We’re all still trying to beat that goddamn hare. How’d you do it? 1.5221 0.04325 272 165 72 35
315 Rodents only, huh? Did I fail to mention I am also an attorney? 1.5217 0.04369 276 170 68 38
316 Are you sure you are ready for corporate America? 1.5213 0.04327 282 174 69 39
317 Sorry, fella- this is the fast track. 1.5210 0.04281 286 176 71 39
318 You looked different on Zoom. 1.5209 0.04236 263 155 79 29
319 There’s no finish line so everybody wins. 1.5201 0.04282 273 165 74 34
320 So why do you want to work for Goldman Sachs? 1.5192 0.04671 260 166 53 41
321 Try to be on time tomorrow, ok? 1.5181 0.04185 276 165 79 32
322 Legally, I’m not allowed to say diversity hire.. 1.5176 0.04217 284 173 75 36
323 You weren't my first choice until I heard you beat the hare in a footrace. 1.5174 0.04319 259 155 74 30
324 Welcome to Amazon, I’ll show you around the fulfillment center. 1.5171 0.04437 263 162 66 35
325 so what are your weight loss goals? 1.5155 0.04401 258 157 69 32
326 This is training for the Rat Race. You want Tortoise and Hare Training next door. 1.5150 0.04335 266 162 71 33
327 You can give it a try, but no one's ever won. 1.5148 0.04254 270 163 75 32
328 This is an existential struggle, not a simple race. 1.5145 0.04482 241 145 68 28
329 I'm sorry, but the pre-employment exam results indicate that you're just a hare too slow. 1.5139 0.04349 251 150 73 28
330 So, your resume says you're more of a marathon runner. 1.5137 0.04115 255 147 85 23
331 You want Aquatics. Ninth floor, first door. 1.5133 0.04203 263 156 79 28
332 I'd like to talk to you about working from home. 1.5133 0.04438 263 163 65 35
333 I understand, you identify as a mouse. 1.5131 0.04387 267 165 67 35
334 Feel free to climb in and take it for a spin. 1.5121 0.04535 248 153 63 32
335 Take wheel Number Three . Every Tuesday Bob works from home . 1.5109 0.04574 274 178 52 44
336 You’re the perfect candidate to diversify our work force. What are your pronouns? 1.5107 0.04908 233 150 47 36
337 Yes, you’re in the right place. The labor shortage motivated us to loosen our search criteria. 1.5097 0.04203 257 152 79 26
338 “That’s some résumé. Works hard. Goes nowhere.” 1.5095 0.04339 263 161 70 32
339 You have to be at least as tall as me to ride. 1.5088 0.04546 228 137 66 25
340 Says here on your resumé you once beat a hare in a race? When can you start? 1.5086 0.04612 232 142 62 28
341 I told them you beat the hare, and now they can't stop practicing for the big race tomorrow. 1.5082 0.04365 244 146 72 26
342 It's the journey, not the destination. 1.5081 0.04563 246 153 61 32
343 A finish line? Never heard of it. 1.5081 0.04314 248 148 74 26
344 If you want to join the rat race, first come out of your shell. 1.5079 0.04445 252 155 66 31
345 Sorry, there’s no ‘slow and steady’ option on these machines. 1.5078 0.04179 256 151 80 25
346 I just need five more minutes to get all my steps in for the day. 1.5075 0.04213 268 162 76 30
347 But Senator, Kentucky needs you more. 1.5064 0.04871 233 150 48 35
348 We really should have turned our zoom cameras on during the interview. 1.5064 0.04433 233 139 70 24
349 So, Mr McConnell, it says here your goal is to put a stop to all progress by the current administration. 1.5062 0.04782 241 155 50 36
350 As long as the wheel’s spinning, they don’t care who’s in there. 1.5062 0.04340 243 145 73 25
351 It's this or a cubicle. 1.5043 0.04475 230 138 68 24
352 If you're not interested in spin class, maybe you'd like sign up for jazzercise. 1.5042 0.04536 240 148 63 29
353 I'm sorry, but the job posting specifically said RAT race. 1.5041 0.04378 246 149 70 27
354 It's an equal opportunity rat race. 1.5041 0.04262 246 146 76 24
355 We were impressed to find on your resume that you outran a hare. 1.5040 0.04389 248 151 69 28
356 Sure. You break out that shell of yours, there's no telling what could happen. 1.5040 0.04337 252 153 71 28
357 Look, you’re consistent, but you’re still not making quota… 1.5023 0.04839 215 134 54 27
358 You might be better suited for our maze department 1.5022 0.04534 223 134 66 23
359 Oh no, we value diversity here. 1.5021 0.04312 239 142 74 23
360 We’re looking for someone who thinks outside of the wheel. 1.5021 0.04180 243 142 80 21
361 The ad specifically said this was a fast-paced work environment. 1.5020 0.04314 245 147 73 25
362 The hare's late, so it's all yours. 1.5020 0.04406 255 158 66 31
363 Ah, you sounded different on the phone. 1.5019 0.04339 263 163 68 32
364 We charge by time, not revolutions. 1.5000 0.04461 234 142 67 25
365 I have to race this hare soon, but my gym's been closed for 16 months, and I'm terribly out of shape. 1.5000 0.04303 266 165 69 32
366 Our lifetime membership package could be rewarding for you. 1.5000 0.04845 212 132 54 26
367 I'm afraid you're late for the Rat Race. Would you like to try the Wild Goose Chase? 1.5000 0.04508 242 150 63 29
368 Well, your six months late for your appointment, but I'll see what I can do. 1.5000 0.04632 236 148 58 30
369 Your day pass expired since you left the front desk. 1.5000 0.04740 234 149 53 32
370 Now, if anyone asks - say you're a mouse. 1.4981 0.04216 259 157 75 27
371 It’s not a contest. It’s a lifestyle. 1.4979 0.04393 239 145 69 25
372 Take your time. 1.4979 0.04306 233 138 74 21
373 Drop the sham clipboard and get back to work! 1.4978 0.04739 229 145 54 30
374 You heard about us through word-of-mouse? 1.4978 0.04819 229 147 50 32
375 Well, I was going to hire the hare, but since you got here first... 1.4961 0.04384 254 158 66 30
376 Hey guys, our stamina trainer has arrived. 1.4959 0.04233 242 144 76 22
377 We take diversity seriously. 1.4958 0.04175 240 141 79 20
378 Excuse Me, the sign in the lobby said this was ERCOT/ Texas Electric/Power infrastructure . Did I walk into the wrong room or is this the electric grid for the state of Texas 1.4957 0.04612 232 145 59 28
379 we require a masters degree and 5 years of experience. The job pays minimum wage 1.4956 0.04754 228 145 53 30
380 This is not your wheelhouse. 1.4953 0.04891 212 134 51 27
381 The hare was just the first test. 1.4939 0.04503 245 154 61 30
382 We're putting you on the fast track. 1.4936 0.04475 233 143 65 25
383 Well, we USED to be a shell company... 1.4936 0.04391 233 141 69 23
384 Just finishing up. They're on spin cycle. 1.4935 0.04419 231 140 68 23
385 This is a speed race, not a shell game. 1.4934 0.04688 227 143 56 28
386 I'm sorry but we need more than a reference from a Rabbit. 1.4930 0.04593 213 129 63 21
387 ...and you thrive in a fast-paced environment? 1.4930 0.04640 213 130 61 22
388 You're in luck, the rabbit slept though his time slot. 1.4915 0.04207 234 138 77 19
389 Glad you could make it. We’ve tested going fast and got nowhere! 1.4912 0.04504 228 140 64 24
390 You’ve come to the wrong metaphor 1.4907 0.04718 214 133 57 24
391 If you win again, I don't know how we'd spin it. 1.4888 0.04708 223 141 55 27
392 It said on your resumé you can handle fast-paced work environments? 1.4887 0.04563 221 136 62 23
393 They don’t understand Critical Race Theory around here, either. 1.4887 0.04993 221 146 42 33
394 The hare gave you a great reference. Welcome aboard. 1.4885 0.04578 217 133 62 22
395 I'm afraid they don't have a 'Slow & Steady' setting. 1.4884 0.04513 215 130 65 20
396 You're late, Mitch. 1.4878 0.04968 205 131 48 26
397 Just go at your own pace. 1.4876 0.04685 201 122 60 19
398 I don't care if you identify as a rat. The law is the law. 1.4876 0.05043 201 129 46 26
399 We were counting on you to make it inclusive. 1.4874 0.04157 238 141 78 19
400 Sorry, there are no winners in this race. 1.4873 0.04913 197 123 52 22
401 According to this schedule, you have it reserved for one revolution or Thursday......whichever comes first. 1.4873 0.04709 236 153 51 32
402 We all started out just like you. 1.4867 0.04489 226 139 64 23
403 Land on your back and we are not liable 1.4867 0.04532 226 140 62 24
404 Are you sure you want a turn? It's a real rat race. 1.4865 0.04411 222 134 68 20
405 Have you considered water aerobics? 1.4864 0.04885 220 143 47 30
406 So what's your preferred pronoun? 1.4860 0.04764 214 135 54 25
407 Pace yourself. 1.4860 0.04528 214 130 64 20
408 I thnk you would be better off on our stationary bike. 1.4858 0.04751 212 133 55 24
409 YOU wanna go nowhere fast? 1.4858 0.04459 212 127 67 18
410 Where do I see myself in five years? Well…still here… 1.4842 0.04935 190 118 52 20
411 We’re looking for participants who can turn this study into a fable. 1.4836 0.04639 213 132 59 22
412 You seem like a nice guy, but slowing down is against everything the rat race stands for. 1.4834 0.04767 211 133 54 24
413 Yes, they started off as turtles too. Just sign here... 1.4822 0.04965 197 125 49 23
414 You might get more out of pilates. 1.4821 0.04675 195 118 60 17
415 Listen, I’m going out on a limb here. Although you’ve lied on your resume, we are having a dreadful time trying to get our employees back to the office. You’re hired! 1.4806 0.04852 206 131 51 24
416 Maybe the rat-race is not for you"?.. 1.4805 0.04706 231 150 51 30
417 Maybe admin’s more your thing 1.4804 0.04634 204 125 60 19
418 How did you get here faster than the hare? 1.4800 0.04806 200 125 54 21
419 We have a high turnover. 1.4798 0.04706 223 143 53 27
420 What makes you think you're a diversity hire? 1.4791 0.04607 215 134 59 22
421 Last time you fell asleep at the wheel. 1.4787 0.04972 188 118 50 20
422 So, I'm going to need you to squeak like a mouse every once in a while. The condo association rules are pretty strict. 1.4787 0.05085 188 120 46 22
423 This exercise may leave you a little shell-shocked. 1.4780 0.04820 205 130 52 23
424 Finally, someone who’s OK with the lack of advancement opportunities this position offers. 1.4780 0.05210 182 117 43 22
425 We don't really have a slow lane here. 1.4778 0.04702 203 126 57 20
426 Are you sure you want to come out of your shell? 1.4772 0.04805 197 123 54 20
427 As my resume states, I did win a race against a rabbit. 1.4769 0.04730 216 138 53 25
428 Welcome back to the office. 1.4762 0.04734 210 133 54 23
429 Sorry, the rat race is species specific. 1.4756 0.04758 225 147 49 29
430 That race was over yesterday. 1.4755 0.04984 204 133 45 26
431 I like your can-do spirit. 1.4752 0.04718 202 126 56 20
432 I know you're a talking turtle and I'm a talking rat, but I can't willingly suspend my disbelief any further. 1.4737 0.05044 190 122 46 22
433 Yes, I get it, but you still need to sign the waiver. 1.4734 0.04855 188 117 53 18
434 I AM THINKING ABOUT LEAVING THE RAT RACE 1.4732 0.04816 224 148 46 30
435 There's a 3 hour time limit. 1.4732 0.04718 205 129 55 21
436 Yes, of course -- we're looking to diversify. 1.4730 0.04315 222 135 69 18
437 Finish line? what exactly is that? 1.4725 0.04908 182 113 52 17
438 Can you substitute the cheese with fresh lettuce?" 1.4724 0.04715 199 124 56 19
439 As it's your first day just take it slow, go at your own pace. 1.4723 0.04277 235 145 69 21
440 I like the initiative in bringing your own safety equipment. 1.4720 0.04668 214 136 55 23
441 Three out of four rats agree: it's the journey, not the destination. 1.4715 0.04764 193 120 55 18
442 . We’ll, I dunno, slow AND steady…you’re probably overqualified. 1.4714 0.04968 210 139 43 28
443 I see you brought your home office with you. 1.4712 0.04856 191 120 52 19
444 I know we have an opening, but we just can't squeeze you in. 1.4712 0.04856 191 120 52 19
445 Sorry, wrong parable. 1.4712 0.04718 208 132 54 22
446 First I want you to teach them how to take it slow. 1.4709 0.04485 223 140 61 22
447 I’m not gonna lie, man. This ride is gonna fuck you up. 1.4706 0.05378 187 126 34 27
448 You're in luck. My eleven o'clock got eaten by a cat." 1.4700 0.05008 200 131 44 25
449 Aesop sent you? 1.4700 0.05008 200 131 44 25
450 As you can see, we have a real go-nowhere-fast culture here. 1.4695 0.04684 213 136 54 23
451 This is no place to think outside the box, turtle. 1.4694 0.04711 196 122 56 18
452 How can I assure you that you're not a diversity hire ? 1.4694 0.04541 196 119 62 15
453 The temp agency said you have some race experience. 1.4694 0.04655 196 121 58 17
454 Oh certainly. When it comes to diversity, we do more than ´walk the walk’ . 1.4693 0.04838 179 110 54 15
455 You're late. We finished turtles three years ago. 1.4691 0.05124 194 128 41 25
456 'Carapace Diem...' 1.4688 0.04837 192 121 52 19
457 So you want to give it a whirl? 1.4686 0.04583 207 129 59 19
458 My therapist said it will get me out of my shell. 1.4684 0.04817 190 119 53 18
459 We need a new vision for our company, someone with tough skin that can withstand this roller coaster 1.4683 0.04666 205 129 56 20
460 I don't doubt that you'd win, Chuck, but this class is about futility. 1.4682 0.05471 173 115 35 23
461 We had to start the race without you. 1.4679 0.04558 218 138 58 22
462 You are clearly a management candidate. 1.4677 0.05008 186 119 47 20
463 Those are the options. Spin the wheel or buy a vowel. 1.4677 0.05066 186 120 45 21
464 Maybe yoga is more your speed. 1.4674 0.04868 184 115 52 17
465 It says here you prefer working from home 1.4674 0.05107 184 119 44 21
466 Not to worry, I identify as a hamster. 1.4673 0.04820 199 127 51 21
467 Before I let you on I have to ask a few questions. First, are you a hamster? 1.4667 0.05190 180 117 42 21
468 If it's and consolation, the hare didn't get the job either. 1.4667 0.04714 225 148 49 28
469 I'm going to need you to sign this release form. 1.4663 0.04874 193 123 50 20
470 So you claim you bested a hare? 1.4663 0.04762 193 121 54 18
471 It's minimum wage but the cardio is off the charts. 1.4659 0.04895 176 109 52 15
472 It is how you won the race that interests us" 1.4659 0.05026 176 111 48 17
473 We never body shame here. 1.4659 0.05026 176 111 48 17
474 Well, you interviewed better than the hare. 1.4657 0.04524 204 126 61 17
475 I'll pay you $5.00 to take my place, 1.4655 0.05132 174 111 45 18
476 Take her for a spin. 1.4643 0.04819 196 125 51 20
477 No, I'm afraid you can't work from home 1.4641 0.04600 209 132 57 20
478 Your third tardy this week Dennis, and it’s only Wednesday 1.4639 0.05312 166 107 41 18
479 Have you ever thought of coming out? 1.4637 0.05271 179 118 39 22
480 Don't you think swimming aerobics might be a better choice for you? 1.4637 0.04964 179 113 49 17
481 O.K., let me get this straight, "Slow and what" wins the race? 1.4637 0.05089 179 115 45 19
482 So you beat the hare. Impressive. 1.4635 0.04721 192 120 55 17
483 Just ignore them and focus on your strengths. 1.4635 0.04947 192 124 47 21
484 Listen, Steve, I know this newest form of renewable energy isn’t ideal but you have to do your part. 1.4632 0.04756 190 119 54 17
485 I'm certain that a few spins will help to bring you out of your shell. 1.4624 0.05064 186 121 44 21
486 No worries. You flip on your back, we’ll turn you right over. 1.4624 0.04948 186 119 48 19
487 How slow can it go? 1.4623 0.04657 199 125 56 18
488 I mean, it’s not SoulCycle, but, it’ll get you out of your shell. 1.4623 0.04765 199 127 52 20
489 I’m sorry buddy, but I can’t let you on there like that or they’ll all want protective clothing 1.4620 0.05062 171 108 47 16
490 No, we don't do slow and steady. 1.4620 0.05220 184 122 39 23
491 A rat race has no finish line. 1.4611 0.04982 193 126 45 22
492 Big deal. My mom could've beat the hare. 1.4611 0.04872 193 124 49 20
493 We need you to prove a critical race theory. Just not THAT critical race theory. 1.4611 0.04982 193 126 45 22
494 Of course, you'll have to sign a waiver... 1.4611 0.04685 180 110 57 13
495 Sorry Senator McConnell. Your membership expired one month ago. 1.4611 0.05807 167 116 25 26
496 You're going to be the control subject in this experiment. 1.4599 0.04985 187 121 46 20
497 Unfortunately you tested positive for grass 1.4598 0.05444 174 117 34 23
498 So, you’re looking to join the rat race? 1.4596 0.04888 198 129 47 22
499 We charge by the hour, not by the mile. 1.4592 0.04871 196 127 48 21
500 You've been a little slow getting back to the office 1.4590 0.04822 183 115 52 16
501 You might want to consider another line of work. 1.4590 0.04945 183 117 48 18
502 Sorry, but this is the rat race. 1.4589 0.04779 207 135 49 23
503 Just be sure to wipe it down when you're done. 1.4588 0.05284 170 111 40 19
504 Don't worry about what your neighbor is doing, go at your own pace. 1.4583 0.04542 192 118 60 14
505 Could it be under another name? 1.4581 0.04590 203 128 57 18
506 Go ahead. Knock yourself out. 1.4581 0.04768 179 111 54 14
507 One ticket for the slow and steady please. 1.4574 0.04849 188 120 50 18
508 Perhaps you would be more interested in our yoga classes... 1.4565 0.04864 184 117 50 17
509 You must be here for the slow-and-steady-rat-race analogy. We're not really sure what it means either. 1.4563 0.05158 160 101 45 14
510 You won the rat race by a hare? 1.4559 0.04830 204 134 47 23
511 Peleton will pay you big money to hear your story. 1.4557 0.05126 158 99 46 13
512 Our beginner spin class is on Fridays. 1.4556 0.04941 180 115 48 17
513 This job requires a certain sense of joie de vivre. You may need to come out of your shell. 1.4556 0.04877 180 114 50 16
514 You're just here to make them look good. 1.4545 0.04885 198 130 46 22
515 Your first spin class is free. 1.4540 0.05192 174 114 41 19
516 Welcome to the Rat Race. 1.4531 0.04831 192 124 49 19
517 It’s not a wheel, it’s a lifestyle. 1.4530 0.04982 181 117 46 18
518 What do you mean, 'Take it easy'? It's a rat race. 1.4526 0.05091 190 127 40 23
519 Five miles or thirty minutes, whichever comes first 1.4524 0.05260 168 110 40 18
520 Okay, so tell me about your fitness goals. 1.4521 0.04962 188 123 45 20
521 No shame in getting nowhere fast. 1.4518 0.05023 166 105 47 14
522 Sir, I know it’s available but it’s reserved. 1.4516 0.04884 186 120 48 18
523 I think we’ll start you off with the Maze and work up to the wheel 1.4514 0.04632 175 107 57 11
524 We are looking for someone who thrives in a fast-paced environment. 1.4512 0.05066 164 104 46 14
525 Are you from the temp agency? 1.4512 0.05283 164 107 40 17
526 I see on your resume you once beat a hare...? 1.4511 0.04922 184 119 47 18
527 I can assure you, you are not our diversity hire. 1.4508 0.04977 193 128 43 22
528 Don’t worry, they’re not getting there either. 1.4503 0.04704 171 105 55 11
529 Start slow. 1.4500 0.05123 180 119 41 20
530 Hey. Not so fast! 1.4500 0.05360 180 123 33 24
531 I have to say - your resume is a little misleading here. 1.4489 0.05145 176 116 41 19
532 Your membership expired while walking from cashier to here. 1.4489 0.05331 176 119 35 22
533 Here's the thing...it's not a race !!! 1.4486 0.05019 185 122 43 20
534 We're tired of spinning our wheels and are ready to buy into your slow and steady management style. 1.4481 0.05296 154 99 41 14
535 Please tell me why you think you’re the best candidate for the position? 1.4474 0.04749 190 122 51 17
536 Fine—but if you get stuck on your back again you'll be barred from future spinning classes. 1.4472 0.05704 161 111 28 22
537 Glad you're here. We were going nowhere fast. 1.4471 0.04937 170 108 48 14
538 This time there is no bunny at rest, You work, You win 1.4469 0.04956 179 116 46 17
539 Ahh sir, I think we need to take a second to discuss your expectations 1.4463 0.04931 177 114 47 16
540 Look, it’s not discrimination. You’re just not a good fit for the job. 1.4459 0.05143 157 100 44 13
541 I’m confused, it says here you won a marathon? 1.4458 0.05233 166 109 40 17
542 Your story about the hare is truly compelling, but it won’t be enough for me to get you past HR. 1.4452 0.05503 155 103 35 17
543 Since it's your first day it may take you a while to get up to speed. 1.4451 0.04770 182 116 51 15
544 We're desperate. 1.4444 0.04522 189 118 58 13
545 According to a gentleman named Aesop, your track record for winning races is actually pretty strong, so let’s go ahead and test it. 1.4444 0.05478 153 101 36 16
546 So it’s $69 a month whether you come regularly or not. 1.4438 0.05558 169 117 29 23
547 I see that going fast is on your bucket list. 1.4438 0.05095 169 110 43 16
548 Could you remove your jacket sir? 1.4432 0.05078 176 116 42 18
549 Welcome! No worries, I’ve successfully trained many of our diversity hires. 1.4431 0.05068 167 108 44 15
550 There’s nothing discriminatory about it, it’s centrifugal force. I don’t write the laws of physics, pal. 1.4431 0.05345 167 112 36 19
551 You realize one spin and you're pretty much done, right? 1.4431 0.05139 167 109 42 16
552 I got tired of being third wheel. 1.4424 0.05183 165 108 41 16
553 Whoa, not so fast, it’s a rat race. 1.4424 0.04370 217 139 60 18
554 You will have to pee in a bottle and welcome to Amazon 1.4423 0.05697 156 107 29 20
555 I am here for the distance events. 1.4419 0.04893 172 110 48 14
556 I can’t promise the same results 1.4417 0.05229 163 107 40 16
557 I think something low-impact is more your speed. 1.4409 0.04695 186 119 52 15
558 I don't know...you ruined that rabbit's life. 1.4407 0.05181 177 119 38 20
559 You’re fine if you get flipped upside down, right? 1.4403 0.05323 159 105 38 16
560 Let's see if you can complete a revolution in under an hour. 1.4398 0.05159 166 109 41 16
561 May I ask where you bought that protective gear? 1.4398 0.04715 166 103 53 10
562 Well, if you wind up on your back don't come crying to me. 1.4393 0.05205 173 116 38 19
563 I recommend water aerobics. 1.4387 0.05422 155 103 36 16
564 Listen, it is strictly by the hour, not by the distance. 1.4387 0.05185 155 100 42 13
565 Are you ready to have the time of your life in the fast lane? 1.4383 0.05176 162 106 41 15
566 We’re trying to diversify our image. 1.4383 0.05026 162 104 45 13
567 As your trainer, i think the treadmill would be a better fit for you. 1.4383 0.04949 162 103 47 12
568 I'm sorry, but we feel that you lack the necessary flexibility for this job. 1.4375 0.04991 160 102 46 12
569 You're in luck. Use treadmill number 3; it's broken." 1.4375 0.05075 176 117 41 18
570 Now I see you have thick skin,but how do you do in fast-paced environments? 1.4375 0.05075 176 117 41 18
571 I’m sure you have the endurance it takes, but it’s not really a slow but steady culture. 1.4375 0.05069 160 103 44 13
572 I promise getting stuck on your back will not be a problem. 1.4371 0.04771 167 105 51 11
573 The rate is per hour, not per rotation. 1.4371 0.05525 151 101 34 16
574 It's time we discussed your performance 1.4371 0.05023 151 95 46 10
575 I self-identify as a rat. 1.4368 0.05245 174 118 36 20
576 'Slow and steady wins the race,' I know. But we have quotas. 1.4366 0.05425 142 92 38 12
577 Rental is hourly, regardless of mileage. 1.4362 0.05414 149 98 37 14
578 I see “slow and steady” here on your resume… how slow are we talking? 1.4362 0.05330 149 97 39 13
579 Outerwear belongs in the locker room." 1.4360 0.04819 172 110 49 13
580 Well, it's not for everybody. 1.4356 0.05077 163 106 43 14
581 Yes it's normally number of spins, but for tortoises we charge by the hour. 1.4355 0.05049 186 126 39 21
582 Sorry , slow and steady doesn't cut it here . 1.4354 0.05467 147 97 36 14
583 Unfortunately for you, we charge by the minute not the mile! 1.4353 0.04857 170 109 48 13
584 We'll start you out with a slow saunter. 1.4351 0.05206 154 100 41 13
585 We'll be in touch. 1.4350 0.04791 177 114 49 14
586 What are you doing still standing here? I told everybody to start an hour ago. 1.4348 0.04850 184 121 46 17
587 I guarantee you'll shed that shell. 1.4345 0.05040 168 110 43 15
588 It's on my bucket list. 1.4345 0.05248 168 113 37 18
589 Your resume says you beat a rabbit once? You'll fit right in then! 1.4345 0.04824 168 107 49 12
590 Do you have any machines for low impact exercise? 1.4345 0.05162 145 92 43 10
591 At this gym, we pride ourselves on being a judgement-free zone. 1.4343 0.04963 175 115 44 16
592 I'm afraid that you aren't up to speed. 1.4340 0.05166 159 104 41 14
593 I'm fine with it, but our insurance doesn't cover reptiles. 1.4336 0.05210 143 91 42 10
594 we appreciate your time, but slow and steady isn't exactly what we're looking for. 1.4335 0.05265 173 118 35 20
595 Diversity is our goal. 1.4333 0.05217 150 97 41 12
596 'Just remember, slow and steady wins the race. Unless you fall on your back, then you're on your own.' 1.4333 0.04863 180 118 46 16
597 Maybe you could teach us that whole ‘slow and steady’ thing you had mentioned earlier? 1.4331 0.05367 157 105 36 16
598 Welcome to the rat race! Under 'mental health', I see you've written "shell shocked". The good news is that you'll fit right in. 1.4329 0.05053 164 107 43 14
599 Look, you'll never get anywhere if you don't stick your neck out. 1.4329 0.05199 164 109 39 16
600 There is no destination. That is the point. 1.4329 0.04979 164 106 45 13
601 Now, please don't think of this as just a diversity hire. 1.4327 0.04976 171 112 44 15
602 No, sir, this is the rat race training room. The hares are nextdoor. 1.4327 0.05179 171 115 38 18
603 It's not a race, I promise. 1.4321 0.05171 162 107 40 15
604 I'm guessing you want to start slowly? 1.4317 0.05212 139 88 42 9
605 Of course, you won the race against the hare! 1.4312 0.05438 160 109 33 18
606 You're two days late for your appointment. 1.4306 0.05088 144 91 44 9
607 I see you’ve listed your special skills as “slow and steady”… 1.4305 0.05440 151 101 35 15
608 We are not an equal opportunity employer. 1.4304 0.05187 158 104 40 14
609 We don't use the word 'race' as some of the rats found it triggering but welcome to the rat cycle 1.4302 0.05221 172 117 36 19
610 Sorry, you’re late. 1.4295 0.05238 149 97 40 12
611 Well, we’re all about inclusion. 1.4295 0.05409 149 99 36 14
612 Sorry,it’s called the rat race for a reason 1.4295 0.05233 156 103 39 14
613 Why? You already have hard abs. 1.4295 0.05465 156 106 33 17
614 I'm going to guess this is your first time? 1.4295 0.05312 156 104 37 15
615 It's a new underground group called Cirque Des Souris 1.4294 0.05220 163 109 38 16
616 Sorry, you have to be 3 inches tall, standing upright, to ride. 1.4294 0.05146 163 108 40 15
617 The beginners spin class starts at nine. 1.4286 0.05192 161 107 39 15
618 I assure you that our members see slow-shaming as completely unacceptable. 1.4286 0.04824 175 114 47 14
619 So, you'll be subbing for me for 14,629 revolutions, or in turtle terms, 6. 1.4286 0.05657 140 94 32 14
620 I've decided to join the rat race. 1.4286 0.05711 147 101 29 17
621 Have you considered Pilates? 1.4286 0.05108 147 94 43 10
622 Sorry, we're testing turnover here, not perseverance. 1.4286 0.05375 147 97 37 13
623 Are you the new temp? 1.4286 0.05199 147 95 41 11
624 These guys looked just like you before they started our 12 week program. Just sign here please. 1.4278 0.04922 180 120 43 17
625 Now, it’s not a competition 1.4277 0.04924 159 102 46 11
626 It always comes down to personal choice. Some prefer the rush and challenge of the endless grind, while others like yourself, prefer to actually win the race. 1.4276 0.05411 152 102 35 15
627 Hurry, spin classes fill up quickly 1.4276 0.04904 152 96 47 9
628 In the rat race, nobody wins 1.4275 0.05716 138 93 31 14
629 Would you describe yourself as motivated? 1.4269 0.04686 171 109 51 11
630 This is our beginners spin class 1.4269 0.04901 171 112 45 14
631 And if you land on your back…? 1.4267 0.05036 150 96 44 10
632 The problem is that we close in seven hours. 1.4267 0.05703 150 104 28 18
633 The hare got motion sickness … We’re thinking you won’t be at risk for that. 1.4261 0.04803 176 115 47 14
634 Remember, it’s not a race. 1.4259 0.04781 162 103 49 10
635 Depends. How flexible is your shell? 1.4259 0.05091 162 107 41 14
636 Sorry,wrong lab. The tortoise and the hare experiment is in the room across the hall. 1.4258 0.05639 155 108 28 19
637 I know it’s a lot for your first day, but I’m sure we’ll catch you up to speed in no time. 1.4257 0.05346 148 98 37 13
638 You’ll do well here if you thrive in a fast-paced environment. 1.4255 0.05253 141 91 40 10
639 It’s got all the same health benefits as CrossFit, but won’t turn you into a total fucking asshole. 1.4254 0.06120 134 94 23 17
640 I see you are coming to us from our shell corporation. 1.4250 0.05360 160 109 34 17
641 It’s a sprint, not a marathon. 1.4247 0.05309 146 96 38 12
642 Next of kin? 1.4245 0.05401 139 91 37 11
643 Slow but steady might help. We're going no place fast. 1.4241 0.05023 158 103 43 12
644 Sweet! You brought your own safety equipment. 1.4235 0.04702 170 109 50 11
645 Sir, for your own safety, you’ll need to store your shell in one of our lockers. 1.4234 0.05927 137 95 26 16
646 You might want to take another look at your Slow and Steady philosophy. 1.4233 0.05067 163 108 41 14
647 Well, you did outrun a hare. 1.4231 0.05446 130 84 37 9
648 It's time for your performance review. 1.4228 0.05232 149 98 39 12
649 Ignore them! This is about being your best self. 1.4228 0.05144 149 97 41 11
650 This spin class is only for gym rats. 1.4226 0.05239 168 115 35 18
651 One last question: What would you say is your biggest weakness? 1.4225 0.05504 142 95 34 13
652 So we're looking to become more diverse... 1.4224 0.04797 161 103 48 10
653 I’m trying to come out of my shell 1.4221 0.05355 154 104 35 15
654 Let me get this straight. You're applying because you felt like you were getting nowhere in your last job? 1.4221 0.05112 154 101 41 12
655 It says here that you identify as a mouse? 1.4221 0.05434 154 105 33 16
656 We'll be testing you and the hare right after we see how three blind mice run 1.4219 0.06137 128 89 24 15
657 The wheel is going to reinvent you. 1.4214 0.05466 140 93 35 12
658 Thanks for coming and helping us with our push for diversity 1.4211 0.05769 133 90 30 13
659 They're the horsepower. You're the torque. 1.4204 0.05201 157 105 38 14
660 Welcome to New York, are you ready for the race? 1.4201 0.04864 169 111 45 13
661 You’ll be the 3rd wheel. 1.4201 0.05007 169 113 41 15
662 Why yes, our organization is a firm believer of workplace diversity and inclusion. 1.4200 0.05205 150 99 39 12
663 What would you say is your greatest weakness? 1.4198 0.05307 162 111 34 17
664 Our focus is cardio, but we do have aquaerobics as well. 1.4196 0.05382 143 95 36 12
665 Remember, you are only competing with yourself. 1.4196 0.05382 143 95 36 12
666 We just need one more to get the wifi working. 1.4196 0.05290 143 94 38 11
667 Don’t give up yet. The only other applicants were sloths. 1.4194 0.05248 155 104 37 14
668 In your case,I'd suggest the rowing machine. 1.4189 0.05253 148 98 38 12
669 Vinny sent me. 1.4189 0.05164 148 97 40 11
670 It’s not really a product, it’s more of a lifestyle. 1.4187 0.05206 160 108 37 15
671 I’m not gonna lie. You’re a diversity hire. 1.4187 0.05206 160 108 37 15
672 It's commendable that you've trained for this, but I think you will still simply fall from the top onto your back; then what do we do? 1.4183 0.05131 153 101 40 12
673 'You certainly took your time getting here.' 1.4183 0.05296 153 103 36 14
674 Honestly, it won't get you nowhere any faster. 1.4172 0.05177 151 100 39 12
675 The mixed metaphor release form is standard. 1.4167 0.05593 132 88 33 11
676 Sorry, they sent you to the wrong metaphor location. Turtles are to meet the hares outside on the track. 1.4167 0.04977 144 92 44 8
677 Directions won’t help if you can’t come out of your shell. 1.4167 0.05796 132 90 29 13
678 I'm here for Beginners' Spinning. 1.4167 0.05165 168 115 36 17
679 And most importantly, don't snap. 1.4167 0.05695 132 89 31 12
680 The stationary log is down the hall. 1.4167 0.04912 180 122 41 17
681 And lastly, what are your pronouns? 1.4167 0.05443 144 97 34 13
682 Thanks I’ll… be sure to keep your resume on file 1.4167 0.05618 144 99 30 15
683 This has traditionally been a fast-paced workplace, but we heard you get good results. 1.4167 0.04732 168 109 48 11
684 Listen. Slow and steady is great and all but here we're aiming a bit higher. 1.4161 0.05048 149 97 42 10
685 We do have an opening in the Texas energy market. 1.4161 0.05919 137 96 25 16
686 Are you sure this is really your speed? 1.4157 0.04770 166 108 47 11
687 In the end, we’re all going to the same place. 1.4155 0.05311 142 94 37 11
688 Sorry, this is a rat race. 1.4155 0.05405 142 95 35 12
689 Oh thank goodness you're here—we just can't get the hang of this "slow and steady" thing. 1.4155 0.05496 142 96 33 13
690 Late again? Do you believe in what we’re doing here or not? 1.4155 0.05217 142 93 39 10
691 No, I tell you, this has nothing to do with a rabbit. 1.4151 0.05149 159 107 38 14
692 It's about the journey 1.4150 0.05094 147 96 41 10
693 Three months ago, they all were turtles. 1.4150 0.05532 147 101 31 15
694 I'm not sure you get the concept. 1.4146 0.05878 123 83 29 11
695 Rabbit flunked, too. Ears too long. 1.4145 0.05317 152 103 35 14
696 I'm telling you, green energy's the next big thing. 1.4143 0.05458 140 94 34 12
697 Look, we could use a former government employee like you who knows how to slow things down. 1.4140 0.05195 157 106 37 14
698 It’s like not being tall enough for the go-carts. 1.4140 0.05273 157 107 35 15
699 Are you able to work from home? 1.4140 0.05195 157 106 37 14
700 You understand that this is a new administration now? We're not just spinning our wheels. 1.4136 0.05301 162 112 33 17
701 Pal, this is a rat race 1.4133 0.05450 150 103 32 15
702 This is mice. Hares are down the hall. 1.4133 0.05531 150 104 30 16
703 Unfortunately, we don't allow backpacks on this ride. 1.4130 0.05317 138 91 37 10
704 No one wins this race. Ever. 1.4130 0.05513 138 93 33 12
705 all three of them founded startups. why do you ask? 1.4130 0.05416 138 92 35 11
706 so YOU are the guy who beat the hare? 1.4130 0.05793 138 96 27 15
707 Just spinning your wheels"? Sorry, I'm not familiar with that idiom 1.4127 0.05776 126 85 30 11
708 I self-identify as rodent. 1.4126 0.05465 143 97 33 13
709 So you'd like to get out of your shell and run around for awhile? 1.4125 0.05275 160 110 34 16
710 ...and where do you see yourself in five years? 1.4118 0.05124 153 102 39 12
711 Just where is this study going to be published? 1.4118 0.04614 170 110 50 10
712 Unfortunately, it was illegal for me to ask the question which would have avoided this awkward situation. 1.4118 0.05449 153 106 31 16
713 Just do your slow and steady thing. You're not going anywhere anyway 1.4113 0.05237 141 93 38 10
714 No, there’s no minimum age, there’s minimum speed. 1.4113 0.05427 141 95 34 12
715 Come back during our slow periods. 1.4110 0.05054 163 110 39 14
716 Just try your best out there, you'll be able to make up any deficit in the swimsuit contest. 1.4110 0.05383 146 99 34 13
717 Your resume is impressive, but here at the Amazon warehouse we require speed and agility. 1.4097 0.05435 144 98 33 13
718 Yes, we did get your excellent reference from a Mr. Hare. 1.4091 0.05686 132 90 30 12
719 There's no "slow and steady" in a rat race, my friend! 1.4088 0.05142 159 108 37 14
720 Funny, you don’t look like a hamster. 1.4088 0.05536 137 93 32 12
721 For only $300 per month and personal training fees, we’ll have you looking like these guys in no time 1.4088 0.05339 137 91 36 10
722 Don’t worry, they all looked like you when they started 1.4088 0.05820 137 96 26 15
723 What's the name of the temp agency that sent you? 1.4085 0.05208 142 94 38 10
724 So you're the stunt double? 1.4085 0.05397 142 96 34 12
725 We’re looking to increase diversity and reduce turnover. 1.4083 0.05976 120 82 27 11
726 Sorry. This exercise equipment is for members only. 1.4082 0.05525 147 102 30 15
727 The guys who bet on the hare are backing you big time this round. 1.4079 0.04882 152 99 44 9
728 Sure! ‘Slow and steady’ also works for going nowhere. 1.4071 0.05450 140 95 33 12
729 This is not a race. 1.4069 0.05038 145 95 41 9
730 Usually we have you sign this waiver but I think you will be safe 1.4069 0.05225 145 97 37 11
731 Yes, I know, but it's just a fable. 1.4068 0.05925 118 80 28 10
732 Sorry I'm late again sir - it was such much easier working from home! 1.4062 0.05268 160 111 33 16
733 Look buddy, it’s nothing personal, but it took 8 of us to dislodge you last time… 1.4062 0.05483 128 85 34 9
734 Ok, it’s your dime. 1.4056 0.05274 143 96 36 11
735 Don’t worry when you flip on your back - the wheel will turn you over again. 1.4051 0.05538 158 113 26 19
736 Yeah, but VERY steady! 1.4049 0.05048 163 111 38 14
737 If you want to be adventurous you need to come out of your shell. 1.4048 0.04868 168 113 42 13
738 We’re looking for employees who can be flexible. 1.4046 0.05394 131 87 35 9
739 There's a thirty minute limit. Is that going to be a problem for you? 1.4044 0.05847 136 96 25 15
740 Look, you're just not cut out for this rat race. " 1.4043 0.05324 141 95 35 11
741 I feel like we're going in circles here 1.4043 0.05324 141 95 35 11
742 Of course I'm on the list! Look again! 1.4041 0.05462 146 101 31 14
743 There is no religious exemption. If you want the job, the shell has to go. 1.4032 0.05941 124 86 26 12
744 ‘Have you ever taken a spin class before?’ 1.4031 0.05337 129 85 36 8
745 I don't think you understand the gravity of the situation. 1.4030 0.05716 134 93 28 13
746 It's not about speed. 1.4028 0.05245 144 97 36 11
747 The beginner spin class starts at 10. 1.4025 0.05057 159 108 38 13
748 I see you're 1-0 in racing contests? 1.4016 0.05896 122 84 27 11
749 Slow and steady just isn't in our wheelhouse. 1.4016 0.05837 127 88 27 12
750 Perhaps you'd rather try our Slow and Steady model. 1.4015 0.05362 132 88 35 9
751 No,sorry it is not motorized. 1.4015 0.05677 132 91 29 12
752 Because diversity in this rat race matters. 1.4015 0.05677 132 91 29 12
753 Are your qualifying times fast enough for the rat race? 1.4014 0.05570 142 99 29 14
754 No problem. It just rolls you back over 1.4014 0.05257 147 100 35 12
755 This spin class may not be for you. 1.4000 0.04954 135 87 42 6
756 This is mammal Monday, Pal. Tuesday's your day. 1.4000 0.05248 140 94 36 10
757 due to certain body shapes and sizes, some guests may not be able to ride the attraction 1.4000 0.05345 140 95 34 11
758 One more time - it's not removable!!! 1.4000 0.05898 115 78 28 9
759 I don’t care how many races you’ve won. 1.4000 0.05680 125 85 30 10
760 : Everyone is running a little wild. I need you to set the pace. 1.4000 0.05149 140 93 38 9
761 Of course our gym is a judgment free zone. 1.4000 0.05682 135 94 28 13
762 Don’t worry, we have beginner classes too. 1.4000 0.05149 140 93 38 9
763 I’m afraid your experience with hares overqualifies you tor the job. 1.3986 0.05402 148 103 31 14
764 Do you really want to join this rat race? 1.3986 0.05495 138 95 31 12
765 No outerwear on the machines. 1.3986 0.05684 138 97 27 14
766 I’m tired of Zoom-ba! 1.3985 0.05330 133 89 35 9
767 We are counting on you to bring our work place injury claims down. 1.3985 0.05540 133 91 31 11
768 Take it slow and steady. Any faster and you’re on your back! 1.3985 0.05330 133 89 35 9
769 We'll take anyone at this point. 1.3984 0.05359 128 85 35 8
770 I don’t think slow and steady will do it this time, pal. 1.3984 0.05472 128 86 33 9
771 So on your resume here it says you’re a quick learner… 1.3973 0.04906 146 96 42 8
772 Slow and steady you say... that may just be the change we're looking for. 1.3972 0.05021 141 93 40 8
773 We were impressed with your resume entry about the hare. 1.3971 0.04926 136 88 42 6
774 No one will notice. I just need a bathroom break. 1.3969 0.05273 131 87 36 8
775 Let me explain this hold harmless clause. 1.3969 0.05804 131 92 26 13
776 Yes I agree with you. Slow and steady are excellent qualities. 1.3969 0.05046 131 85 40 6
777 I think you’d prefer tai chi. 1.3969 0.06100 131 95 20 16
778 With the labor shortage you can start right away 1.3969 0.05161 131 86 38 7
779 So sorry, but the age limit is 25. 1.3968 0.05971 126 89 24 13
780 I see why there's confusion. When you described yourself as mousy, you meant you're trying to come out of your shell. 1.3968 0.05755 126 87 28 11
781 Dude, that is not gym-approved attire 1.3968 0.05864 126 88 26 12
782 As of today I identify myself as a mouse and therefore should be treated as such 1.3968 0.05414 126 84 34 8
783 Just tuck your head and you’ll be okay. 1.3966 0.05983 116 80 26 10
784 You clearly meet all the safety requirements,but you don't fit our company culture. 1.3964 0.06041 111 76 26 9
785 Sorry we pay by the revolution not the hour. 1.3957 0.05366 139 95 33 11
786 Yes, anyone who self identifies as “lab rat” is welcome to participate. 1.3955 0.05607 134 93 29 12
787 We are not looking for speed, but for consistency. 1.3955 0.05299 134 90 35 9
788 You have an arts degree with a major in philosophy? Critical thinking is not what we are looking for here. 1.3955 0.05707 134 94 27 13
789 We're hoping you can help us turn things around. 1.3953 0.05657 129 89 29 11
790 Technically, yes, a reptile did create this job opening. 1.3953 0.05657 129 89 29 11
791 Welcome aboard. The team will bring you up to speed. 1.3952 0.05589 124 84 31 9
792 This is our intermediate class. I think you should sign up for a beginner one first. 1.3950 0.05625 119 80 31 8
793 Sorry but your test was positive for performance enhancing drugs. 1.3950 0.05993 119 83 25 11
794 Everything checks out! We have the perfect wheel for you in our government department 1.3944 0.05824 142 103 22 17
795 This is not the spin class you're looking for, Senator McConnell. 1.3942 0.05708 137 97 26 14
796 Sorry sir, blind mice only 1.3942 0.05419 137 94 32 11
797 There is no moral to this story, tortoise. 1.3942 0.05894 137 99 22 16
798 Welcome to the meaningless, hollow, wasted life of American Capitalism 1.3937 0.06037 127 91 22 14
799 Sorry, you're just not up to speed. 1.3931 0.05019 145 97 39 9
800 I hear you won a race. 1.3926 0.05161 135 90 37 8
801 May I ask why you want to return it? 1.3923 0.05514 130 89 31 10
802 This job may, quite literally, break you out of your shell. 1.3920 0.06106 125 90 21 14
803 After your win against the Hare, we thought there was no one better than you for the job. 1.3917 0.05588 120 81 31 8
804 Does it pay by the hour, or by the revolution? 1.3917 0.05332 120 79 35 6
805 All you have to do is let them know when their hour is up, and show them where the towels are. 1.3917 0.05588 120 81 31 8
806 The rat race is honored to welcome someone with your long-distance credentials. 1.3916 0.05348 143 99 32 12
807 What kind of experience do you have chasing your tail? 1.3913 0.05580 138 97 28 13
808 Sorry you didn't make the cut for Ninja Turtles. Meet the B team: Mouselangelo, Flea-onardo, and Jerry 1.3913 0.05884 115 79 27 9
809 No, this is not Wheel of Fortune. 1.3910 0.05631 133 93 28 12
810 I can crawl circles around these guys. 1.3907 0.05058 151 103 37 11
811 Yeah, everyone’s been running around in circles since covid. 1.3904 0.05268 146 101 33 12
812 At this point,we're just looking for someone who can complete the test. 1.3902 0.05492 123 83 32 8
813 You've still got to sign the waiver! 1.3902 0.05845 123 86 26 11
814 Step aside son. Let me show you how to win a race. 1.3902 0.05155 164 116 32 16
815 Your trial membership is over. Time to shell out the membership fee. 1.3901 0.05674 141 101 25 15
816 Perhaps you’d like to try our water wheel? 1.3898 0.05901 118 82 26 10
817 It's by the hour, not by the mile. 1.3898 0.05901 118 82 26 10
818 Your resume says you worked in Amazon fulfillment? 1.3897 0.05827 136 98 23 15
819 It doesnt matter how slow you go we still charge $15 for 10 minutes. 1.3894 0.06214 113 80 22 11
820 They are going to notice. 1.3893 0.05480 131 90 31 10
821 Maybe you should start with Pilates. 1.3889 0.05401 126 85 33 8
822 And here is your final Mensa question … 1.3889 0.05517 126 86 31 9
823 You here for the rat race? 1.3889 0.05743 126 88 27 11
824 What should we do in the case that you’re overturned? 1.3889 0.04939 144 96 40 8
825 I understand how you may want to identify, but we’re not there yet. 1.3885 0.05640 139 99 26 14
826 I think you're in the wrong fable,mate. 1.3885 0.05157 139 94 36 9
827 I recommend Dramamine. 1.3876 0.05314 129 87 34 8
828 Are you here for the eleven o’clock spin class? 1.3876 0.05537 129 89 30 10
829 So sorry. This is Mississippi, and you can’t identify as a hamster. 1.3875 0.05319 160 115 28 17
830 Yes, the ad did say fast track. 1.3874 0.06161 111 78 23 10
831 Relax. They’re just showing off 1.3871 0.05576 124 85 30 9
832 Welcome to the rat race - you’re in it for life. 1.3871 0.05918 124 88 24 12
833 We’ve been getting nowhere real fast around here. They said you have a much better approach. 1.3871 0.05806 124 87 26 11
834 You’re next. You know we close at 9 p.m.? 1.3868 0.06226 106 74 23 9
835 you may overheat in that turtle neck… 1.3866 0.05483 119 80 32 7
836 You're perfect for the job, it's the journey not the destination. 1.3860 0.05912 114 79 26 9
837 We gave you a head start. Where were you? 1.3858 0.05367 127 86 33 8
838 Sorry, the Expresswheel is restricted access and minimum speed is 45. 1.3858 0.05706 127 89 27 11
839 Sadly slow and steady doesn’t turn the lights on. 1.3858 0.05249 127 85 35 7
840 We advise that you check with your doctor before starting any new exercise program. 1.3858 0.05367 127 86 33 8
841 Yeah, but nobody thought I could beat that rabbit either! 1.3857 0.05514 140 99 28 13
842 Accommodations? No problem. Those three are blind. 1.3856 0.05174 153 107 33 13
843 Well, Mr. Hare is late for his reservation so 'first come, first served' 1.3853 0.05816 109 74 28 7
844 Man, HR is really playing a shell game with me over these diversity hires 1.3852 0.05390 122 82 33 7
845 So you say your qualifications include winning a well-publicized race with a hare? 1.3851 0.04938 148 100 39 9
846 You understand this isn't some Aesop fable? 1.3851 0.05297 148 104 31 13
847 Contrary to popular belief, we ARE an all inclusive gym now. 1.3846 0.04931 130 85 40 5
848 Look mouse. The sign says $1 per rotation. Nothing about how long a rotation should take. 1.3846 0.05502 130 90 30 10
849 You'll be in charge of the U.S. Senate's electrical power production. 1.3846 0.06172 117 84 21 12
850 Getting out of your shell is the only hard part. 1.3846 0.05150 143 98 35 10
851 It's largely a matter of technique! 1.3846 0.05281 130 88 34 8
852 “I’m sorry, sir, but that attire is totally inappropriate at Gold’s Gym. ‘No fur, no further.’” 1.3846 0.05715 130 92 26 12
853 I’m sorry, but today’s spin class is already full. 1.3841 0.05474 138 97 29 12
854 I think you might fare better in the rabbit study. 1.3840 0.05422 125 85 32 8
855 Just so you know, if you land on your back your on your own 1.3836 0.05521 146 105 26 15
856 As the union rep, I have a list of grievances. 1.3833 0.05939 120 85 24 11
857 Before we begin your first spin class, I'll need to ask you a few questions. 1.3833 0.05046 120 78 38 4
858 You literally are not the right fit. 1.3833 0.05820 120 84 26 10
859 No? But you let the hare train here yesterday. 1.3828 0.05669 128 90 27 11
860 This has nothing to do with your age.... 1.3826 0.05998 115 81 24 10
861 So 23andme says hamster? 1.3826 0.06124 115 82 22 11
862 Let me get this straight—the temp agency sent you to fill in while I’m out? 1.3824 0.05225 136 93 34 9
863 This is the Rat Race. "Slow and Steady . . ." no longer applies. 1.3824 0.05910 136 100 20 16
864 Slow and steady is not what we do here. 1.3821 0.05230 123 82 35 6
865 No wasteful laundry towels at this gym, you get to tumble dry after showering. 1.3821 0.05230 123 82 35 6
866 This is just not in your wheelhouse! 1.3821 0.05717 123 86 27 10
867 We'll be needing a note from your vet. 1.3821 0.05101 123 81 37 5
868 Well, this should certainly be a change of pace for you, and hopefully get you out of your shell” 1.3821 0.05717 123 86 27 10
869 It looks like they are just spinning their wheels but trust me, they're going places. 1.3818 0.05627 110 74 30 6
870 Welcome to SpinCycle, my name is Trevor and I’ll get you started today. 1.3817 0.05468 131 91 30 10
871 Most applicants don’t put slow as a skill 1.3814 0.05235 118 78 35 5
872 Sorry,your training session was last week 1.3813 0.05721 139 101 23 15
873 It's not for everyone, but you do get to set your own pace. 1.3810 0.05387 126 86 32 8
874 Look, it's not just the wheel speed, you have to be able to type and run mazes. 1.3806 0.05167 134 91 35 8
875 If you join today, the first month is free. 1.3806 0.05380 134 93 31 10
876 I'm sorry,boarding closed ten minutes ago. 1.3805 0.06070 113 80 23 10
877 If I could just get your autograph on this liability waiver… 1.3803 0.05070 142 97 36 9
878 You're just not a good fit. 1.3803 0.05167 142 98 34 10
879 welcome aboard- let's get you up to speed 1.3802 0.05660 121 84 28 9
880 With their insurance premiums skyrocketing following the incident with the farmer’s wife, Blind Mice Inc. had no choice but to take health and safety a little more seriously. 1.3802 0.06014 121 87 22 12
881 Start slow, then taper off. 1.3798 0.05524 129 90 29 10
882 What we are really looking for is someone who can keep up with our fast paced work environment. 1.3798 0.05413 129 89 31 9
883 Hi, I'm here to get you up to speed 1.3796 0.05397 137 96 30 11
884 This is going nowhere fast. 1.3793 0.05698 116 80 28 8
885 What Supreme Court ruling? 1.3793 0.05828 116 81 26 9
886 Unfortunately, we only offer two speeds, fast and furious. 1.3793 0.05698 116 80 28 8
887 Just take your time. 1.3793 0.05428 116 78 32 6
888 Sorry, beating a rabbit isn't enough to qualify. 1.3791 0.04995 153 106 36 11
889 How do you keep winning this race?" 1.3788 0.05844 132 96 22 14
890 I really have loved working here, Harold. I’m resigning because I want more free time to write my memoir: “The Rat Race: How We All Lose and Die Trying”. 1.3788 0.05643 132 94 26 12
891 So it says here you went to Yale? 1.3788 0.05434 132 92 30 10
892 Corporate said that we should try moving in a different direction. 1.3786 0.05116 140 96 35 9
893 The listing clearly said "Teenage Mutant Ninja ... " 1.3784 0.05873 111 77 26 8
894 Dude, it’s not as easy as we make it look. 1.3784 0.04927 148 101 38 9
895 We value work-life balance here. 1.3784 0.05873 111 77 26 8
896 We are a funky bunch. Do you think you will be able to come out of your shell? 1.3782 0.05966 119 85 23 11
897 The last time we had a tortoise in the race it was considered an unfair advantage. 1.3782 0.05597 119 82 29 8
898 Now listen. Don’t try to keep up. Those other guys don’t know there’s no finish line” 1.3782 0.05468 119 81 31 7
899 Sure, I could sell you one. But I just don't think these are the wheels you're looking for. 1.3780 0.05235 127 86 34 7
900 Dude, I get ‘slow and steady wins’ but our insurance won’t cover if you fall and can’t get up.” 1.3780 0.05353 127 87 32 8
901 Would you like to join the rat race? 1.3775 0.05458 151 110 25 16
902 OK, you might have beat the hare, but that doesn't really cut it here. 1.3772 0.06026 114 81 23 10
903 That’s right. As long as you keep going, you can have ALL the drugs you want” 1.3772 0.06026 114 81 23 10
904 It'll be the same old grind but, at a different pace. 1.3770 0.05622 122 85 28 9
905 Do you consider yourself a team player? 1.3769 0.05036 130 87 37 6
906 Let's start with some more attainable fitness goals than winning a race against The Hare. 1.3768 0.05265 138 96 32 10
907 Please? The Zumba class was full today. 1.3767 0.04776 146 98 41 7
908 Sorry. The last applicant beat you by a hare. 1.3761 0.06357 109 79 19 11
909 Yes, I know, I really know, on my oath, I know, I know the story and the answer is still NO! 1.3761 0.05392 117 79 32 6
910 I'm sorry to let you go, but you're just not getting up to speed fast enough. 1.3761 0.06036 117 84 22 11
911 It's not about the running, the wheel is a metaphor for life. 1.3760 0.05164 125 84 35 6
912 Nobody actually wins the rat race. 1.3760 0.05755 125 89 25 11
913 If you can beat a hare, I think you have a decent shot at this. 1.3759 0.05377 141 100 29 12
914 I guess you could be the control. 1.3750 0.05925 120 86 23 11
915 Your references look great, but I will need to meet this hare first. 1.3750 0.05973 128 94 20 14
916 Yes, slow and steady is exactly what we are looking for. 1.3750 0.05167 120 80 35 5
917 Do you think it might bring me out of my shell? 1.3742 0.04769 155 106 40 9
918 Sure, but you'll have to lose the PPE. 1.3741 0.05429 139 99 28 12
919 Slow and steady won’t win you the rat race. I’ll tell you that much. 1.3740 0.05122 131 89 35 7
920 So, how do you see yourself in seven years? 1.3740 0.05346 131 91 31 9
921 It all depends on your technique. 1.3740 0.05702 123 87 26 10
922 sure you can give it a try, but you might feel more comfortable on the recumbent wheel. 1.3740 0.05085 123 82 36 5
923 Now you can get nowhere even faster. 1.3739 0.05449 115 78 31 6
924 ‘On the plus side, no one can pass you…’ 1.3739 0.05722 115 80 27 8
925 I recommend starting slow 1.3739 0.06109 115 83 21 11
926 We're looking for a self-starter 1.3738 0.05867 107 74 26 7
927 The “odds”? About the same as when you raced the hare. 1.3733 0.05054 150 105 34 11
928 Sorry, this club is exclusive to gym rats. 1.3727 0.05458 110 74 31 5
929 Sir, perhaps you’d like to change into your Speedo first. 1.3725 0.06373 102 73 20 9
930 I'm tellin' you Fred, if you want to beat the hare, you've got to train. 1.3719 0.05645 121 85 27 9
931 Have you discovered the wonder that is caffeine? 1.3717 0.05787 113 79 26 8
932 Nobody is calling you a "diversity hire". 1.3714 0.06091 105 74 23 8
933 It turns out that we're a good source of renewable energy. 1.3712 0.04858 132 88 39 5
934 Listen, kid—the rat race is no place for a slow and steady pace.” 1.3706 0.05126 143 100 33 10
935 I still think you should work from home. 1.3704 0.06390 108 79 18 11
936 Your resume says you beat a hare? 1.3704 0.05673 108 74 28 6
937 You're going to have to shell out for this. 1.3704 0.06113 108 77 22 9
938 Ready to join the rat race? 1.3701 0.05788 127 92 23 12
939 I’m sorry. This is not a shell game. But feel free to place a bet. 1.3697 0.06186 119 88 18 13
940 How’s your tolerance for monotonous and completely unfulfilling work? 1.3697 0.06186 119 88 18 13
941 Um, sorry. You're just not the right fit. 1.3697 0.05707 119 84 26 9
942 Look we've had some complaints about you not wiping down the equipment, it's got nothing to do with species 1.3697 0.05830 119 85 24 10
943 Thanks for getting here so slowly. 1.3689 0.05852 103 71 26 6
944 Michelangelo? And what’s the last name? 1.3689 0.05852 103 71 26 6
945 Join now and in three months I guarantee the lady turtles will be after you like you can’t believe 1.3689 0.05484 122 85 29 8
946 NOT-SO-FAST... 1.3689 0.05958 122 89 21 12
947 If you give me a shot, I promise you a revolution by the end of my first day. 1.3684 0.06263 114 84 18 12
948 Perhaps you're more a treadmill type. 1.3680 0.05271 125 86 32 7
949 Alas, slow and steady does not win the rat race. 1.3675 0.05897 117 84 23 10
950 And how are you at righting yourself? 1.3672 0.05305 128 89 31 8
951 We’re looking to diversify the company 1.3672 0.05067 128 87 35 6
952 Do you have experience working in a fast-paced environment?" 1.3670 0.05631 109 75 28 6
953 Ohhhhh sorry.... Today is Cardio with Calhoun, tomorrow is Darwin's Dynamic Flow 1.3670 0.06066 109 78 22 9
954 We still need to see your vaccination card, Mr. Tortoise. 1.3664 0.05220 131 91 32 8
955 But your session was yesterday. 1.3663 0.06249 101 72 21 8
956 Working out 500 laps a day on this will increase your flexibility and self-confidence; you'll be out of that shell in no time! 1.3661 0.06213 112 82 19 11
957 Slow and steady may win you some races, but you still have to train. 1.3661 0.05381 112 76 31 5
958 What about Critical Pace Theory? 1.3659 0.05803 123 89 23 11
959 Slow and steady gets you nowhere. 1.3659 0.05569 123 87 27 9
960 We just need to find you a locker for the backpack and you are set. 1.3659 0.05569 123 87 27 9
961 I suggest you start off slow. 1.3657 0.04917 134 91 37 6
962 This is the mouse hour sir - turtles are at 5 1.3654 0.06270 104 75 20 9
963 Maybe I can grease this wheel with a $20 1.3652 0.05837 115 82 24 9
964 Slow and steady ain’t gonna cut it on this ride, kid. 1.3651 0.05357 126 88 30 8
965 Frankly, we need your help slowing this rat race down a bit. 1.3651 0.05115 126 86 34 6
966 What's the rush? 1.3645 0.05695 107 74 27 6
967 No, no, no. This is Building B where we do Nursery Rhyme tryouts. Fable auditions are in Building D. 1.3645 0.05997 107 76 23 8
968 As you can see, this job is more of a sprint than a marathon. 1.3644 0.05200 118 80 33 5
969 Thank you for your application Mr. McConnell, but I’m not sure the Democratic Party is the best fit for you 1.3644 0.05855 118 85 23 10
970 You raised your pulse to ten beats per minute. Good job!! 1.3644 0.05471 118 82 29 7
971 This might not be the right gym membership for you. 1.3644 0.05855 118 85 23 10
972 Here, you can run your own race 1.3644 0.05730 118 84 25 9
973 The rate is per minute but with you we can can go by the hour... 1.3643 0.05605 129 93 25 11
974 My qualifications? I can outrace any hare! 1.3636 0.06650 99 73 16 10
975 You may actually be looking for the 'getting somewhere slowly' group. 1.3636 0.05076 132 91 34 7
976 We may need to reinvent the wheel.” 1.3636 0.05880 110 78 24 8
977 Sorry, no protective devices permitted. 1.3628 0.05769 113 80 25 8
978 Sorry pal, “slow and steady” just ain’t gonna cut it in the rat race 1.3628 0.05488 113 78 29 6
979 I was just like you when I started. 1.3628 0.05905 113 81 23 9
980 Sorry, it's not a shell game. 1.3627 0.06198 102 73 21 8
981 We do have some slow-and-steady options that might be a better fit for you. 1.3623 0.05437 138 100 26 12
982 Just remember, there's a two day time limit on the equipment. 1.3622 0.05553 127 91 26 10
983 You requested the 'slow and steady,' right? 1.3622 0.05439 127 90 28 9
984 Listen, we’re under staffed and I don’t earn nearly enough cheddar to put up with you snapping at me. 1.3621 0.05795 116 83 24 9
985 Well, sure, it might not be YOUR idea of Heaven... 1.3621 0.05795 116 83 24 9
986 You're late for your appointment. 1.3621 0.05530 116 81 28 7
987 The Slow and Steady spin class ended two hours ago. @newyorkmag @drewdernavich #drewdernavich 1.3621 0.05795 116 83 24 9
988 We are a diverse renewable energy company seeking to revolutionize the market. 1.3621 0.05795 116 83 24 9
989 There IS a lot of travel with this position, but no overnight stays. 1.3621 0.05795 116 83 24 9
990 You have to be this small to ride this ride. 1.3619 0.05918 105 74 24 7
991 Yes, we're inclusive. 1.3615 0.05350 130 92 29 9
992 Slow and steady doesnt really work here 1.3613 0.05690 119 85 25 9
993 While diversity is one of our core values,we just don't think it's a culture fit. 1.3613 0.05814 119 86 23 10
994 Are you motivated by cheese? 1.3613 0.05814 119 86 23 10
995 You beat the hare, you can beat the wheel. 1.3611 0.05497 108 74 29 5
996 I’m sorry but you are just not tall enough to go on the ride. 1.3608 0.06584 97 71 17 9
997 Looks like the hare's running late. Take his spot. 1.3607 0.05468 122 86 28 8
998 I'm sorry sir, the rat race is only for rats. 1.3607 0.05710 122 88 24 10
999 I have NOT heard of "Slow and Steady"...have YOU heard of Crossfit? 1.3607 0.05943 122 90 20 12
1000 I just need you to sign this waiver. 1.3604 0.05694 111 78 26 7
1001 You must be our diversity hire. 1.3600 0.05599 100 68 28 4
1002 We charge by time, not number of revolutions. 1.3600 0.05949 100 70 24 6
1003 Maybe you should start with tai chi. 1.3596 0.05727 114 81 25 8
1004 It's just what we do 1.3596 0.05305 114 78 31 5
1005 Just give me one good reason to join this rat race. 1.3596 0.06120 114 84 19 11
1006 How would you say you respond in high stress situations? 1.3596 0.05449 114 79 29 6
1007 Identify as a hamster all you want, you’re too slow for the wheel. 1.3594 0.05289 128 90 30 8
1008 I'm sorry. You must be over 4-inches tall to ride. 1.3594 0.04801 128 86 38 4
1009 Sorry, Rat Race. Hare racing is next door. 1.3594 0.05404 128 91 28 9
1010 No matter how you spin it, you’re not beating the hare again. 1.3592 0.06148 103 74 21 8
1011 So sorry, they do not come in flat" 1.3592 0.06148 103 74 21 8
1012 What's your goal? 1.3590 0.06004 117 86 20 11
1013 Well, yes, we all exaggerate on our resumé a little... 1.3590 0.05491 117 82 28 7
1014 I'd recommend staying with your in-home exerciser. 1.3590 0.05753 117 84 24 9
1015 All of our interrogation sites are CIA compliant. 1.3590 0.05624 117 83 26 8
1016 We're looking for someone who can go the extra mile, if needed. 1.3585 0.05558 106 73 28 5
1017 Sorry but, in fairness, we are not allowing the hare to train here either. 1.3583 0.04992 120 81 35 4
1018 I’m not legally allowed to ask about your heritage, but we will ask you to demonstrate a loop for us in the next round of interviews. 1.3583 0.05650 120 86 25 9
1019 So nice that you brought your protective gear! 1.3578 0.05610 109 76 27 6
1020 No, you're looking for the shell game. That's down the road in Washington, D.C. 1.3571 0.06195 112 83 18 11
1021 So you are the son of the boss. 1.3571 0.05930 112 81 22 9
1022 BECAUSE---I WON !!! 1.3571 0.05686 126 92 23 11
1023 You shouldn't have lied on your resume. 1.3571 0.06195 112 83 18 11
1024 we're starting to change over to "slow and steady". 1.3571 0.04974 140 98 34 8
1025 First you'll have to come out of your shell. 1.3571 0.05652 112 79 26 7
1026 Sorry, Carl. You’re fired. You haven’t had a good run. 1.3571 0.05793 112 80 24 8
1027 I like your "outside the wheel" thinking, but I just don't think you're a good fit for this organization. 1.3571 0.05459 126 90 27 9
1028 Yes, there’s a waiver. And all outerwear must be removed prior to entry, no exceptions. 1.3571 0.05686 126 92 23 11
1029 Sorry but you tested positive for marijuana 1.3571 0.06324 112 84 16 12
1030 Are you up for a revolution? 1.3571 0.05652 112 79 26 7
1031 I'm sorry it didn't work out. Slow and steady doesn't always win the race. 1.3565 0.05411 115 80 29 6
1032 This is a spinning class. The pool is down the hall and to the right. 1.3565 0.05948 115 84 21 10
1033 They pay by the hour; you pay by the revolution: three for a dollar. 1.3564 0.06066 101 72 22 7
1034 You’re looking for slow and steady, this is the rat race 1.3564 0.05731 101 70 26 5
1035 I’m sorry sir, you’ll have to come back when we are slower 1.3564 0.06384 101 74 18 9
1036 I'm aware that you beat the hare, sir, but I'm afraid the rules for this event clearly stipulate Rodents Only!!! 1.3559 0.05838 118 86 22 10
1037 Lets make this quick, I've got to finish going nowhere fast. 1.3559 0.05961 118 87 20 11
1038 Welcome to the ship's engine room, Senator McConnell ! 1.3558 0.06541 104 78 15 11
1039 . . .and for two years I worked at the shell station. 1.3556 0.05201 135 96 30 9
1040 So that's the job Tommy. You see the farmers wife...any farmers wife...sound the alarm. Our tail loss numbers have been pretty high 1.3556 0.06944 90 67 14 9
1041 You’re going to have to come out of your shell a bit here. 1.3556 0.05306 135 97 28 10
1042 Ok listen. Come back Friday and I'll have a treadmill for you. 1.3554 0.05097 121 83 33 5
1043 No, I've never heard the one about the tortoise and the rat. 1.3551 0.05827 107 76 24 7
1044 Seriously, you want one that doesn't turn? 1.3551 0.06264 107 79 18 10
1045 I can see you were made for this. You’re gonna be great…Trust me! 1.3546 0.04945 141 99 34 8
1046 You wouldn’t be the fourth wheel exactly. 1.3545 0.05260 110 75 31 4
1047 Look man, it’s really more of a branding issue 1.3545 0.05099 110 74 33 3
1048 The hare said I could have his reservation. 1.3543 0.05423 127 91 27 9
1049 To be honest we expected the hare to get here first 1.3540 0.05322 113 78 30 5
1050 We said we needed someone *nocturnal* given that this is a night shift, not noc-turtle. 1.3540 0.05886 113 82 22 9
1051 Now, bear in mind this isn’t a competition. Your reputation precedes you. 1.3538 0.05554 130 95 24 11
1052 Your gym membership was cancelled due to slow payments 1.3538 0.05335 130 93 28 9
1053 Tell me, why do you want to work with us? 1.3535 0.06471 99 73 17 9
1054 I am not joining the rat race 1.3534 0.05776 116 84 23 9
1055 Sorry, we'll need a note from your Doctor... 1.3534 0.05231 116 80 31 5
1056 All I'm saying is you do realize these tests are inherently biased. 1.3529 0.06017 102 73 22 7
1057 Before I hire you, one last question: Where do you want to be in five years? 1.3529 0.05545 119 85 26 8
1058 Sorry, we can't accept you - this is a triple-blind study. 1.3529 0.06331 102 75 18 9
1059 you talk the talk but can you walk the walk? 1.3529 0.06331 102 75 18 9
1060 - What do you mean, “Toxic work environment?” 1.3529 0.05415 119 84 28 7
1061 You're in luck! We just had a cancelation on #3. 1.3524 0.05896 105 75 23 7
1062 Believe me, they were all turtles before their Covid shots. 1.3524 0.06049 105 76 21 8
1063 You said your name was Speedy on your resume 1.3524 0.06049 105 76 21 8
1064 No thanks, I’d rather go somewhere slowly than nowhere quickly. 1.3523 0.06865 88 65 15 8
1065 Okay. You can start on Monday. But I warn you, it’s a real rat race. 1.3520 0.04580 125 83 40 2
1066 Only if you come out of your shell. 1.3520 0.05821 125 93 20 12
1067 No one else can do this either. You'll be fine. 1.3519 0.05782 108 77 24 7
1068 HR sent me. , 1.3517 0.05041 145 104 31 10
1069 Are you sure you didn't lie on your resumé? 1.3516 0.05500 128 93 25 10
1070 Walk normal. They're graded on a curve. 1.3514 0.05673 111 79 25 7
1071 So, it’s not a race. 1.3514 0.05816 111 80 23 8
1072 No. I will not just roll with it. 1.3509 0.05973 114 84 20 10
1073 Just take it easy at first, and don't go too fast. 1.3509 0.05708 114 82 24 8
1074 You'll at least get a blue ribbon for participation. 1.3505 0.05684 97 67 26 4
1075 you sure you wanna do this? 1.3505 0.06561 97 72 16 9
1076 Trust me. You'll do fine. 1.3505 0.05870 97 68 24 5
1077 No, this is Ninja Warrior training, not Ninja Turtle training. 1.3504 0.05862 117 86 21 10
1078 The goal is to slow employee turnover. 1.3500 0.05752 100 70 25 5
1079 We're all for supporting biodiversity but this isn't a job for everyone. 1.3500 0.06093 100 72 21 7
1080 You obviously lied on your resume. 1.3496 0.05288 123 87 29 7
1081 We thought maybe if you model a more leisurely pace... 1.3496 0.05413 123 88 27 8
1082 Look, I just don't think it's quite your speed. 1.3496 0.05413 123 88 27 8
1083 …and most importantly, it’s not a race. Okay? 1.3495 0.05468 103 71 28 4
1084 So,you finally showed up? 1.3495 0.06718 103 79 12 12
1085 It says here you are diligent, easygoing, and relaxed. We could use a little more of that around the office. 1.3495 0.05640 103 72 26 5
1086 The trick is just to really leeaan into it. 1.3495 0.05640 103 72 26 5
1087 It’s just to provide more confidence to the others. See if you can get on. 1.3492 0.05557 126 92 24 10
1088 First, you have to sign this waiver. 1.3491 0.05534 106 74 27 5
1089 This is the only model we've got left on the lot right now 1.3488 0.05238 129 92 29 8
1090 Slow and steady is actually exactly what we’re looking for. 1.3488 0.05001 129 90 33 6
1091 So tell me more about this hare… 1.3486 0.06026 109 80 20 9
1092 Rabbits are the next lab over.. 1.3486 0.05738 109 78 24 7
1093 I'm not sure you are ready for Cirque du Soleil, but let's see what you've got! 1.3486 0.05738 109 78 24 7
1094 We have a position open in the mailroom. 1.3486 0.05587 109 77 26 6
1095 The exercise will do you good and it might help you come out of that shell. 1.3483 0.06210 89 63 21 5
1096 Our new HR department takes inclusion very seriously 1.3482 0.05027 112 76 33 3
1097 What's your average RPM? 1.3478 0.05390 115 81 28 6
1098 Are you ready sir to have your life turned upside down? 1.3478 0.05530 115 82 26 7
1099 You're only here because of affirmative action. 1.3478 0.06266 92 66 20 6
1100 Just so you know, your insurance doesn't cover this. 1.3478 0.05530 115 82 26 7
1101 Somehow I think getting dizzy in there will be the least of your problems. 1.3478 0.05799 115 84 22 9
1102 I'm very motivated right now. I just won a race with a hare. 1.3475 0.05298 118 83 29 6
1103 Let me understand this -- you want to join the rat race? 1.3469 0.05998 98 70 22 6
1104 Diversity is more important than speed. 1.3469 0.06340 98 72 18 8
1105 I'm sorry, the point of the rat race is that no one wins. 1.3469 0.06171 98 71 20 7
1106 I don't CARE if Mister Wizard sent you. This is Rodents Only until noon. OK? 1.3468 0.05127 124 87 31 6
1107 Success will be measured by your forward progress. 1.3468 0.05615 124 91 23 10
1108 Of course we offer a 401K, excellent health insurance and paid vacation time. 1.3465 0.05876 101 72 23 6
1109 You’ll get there, they looked like you when they started. 1.3465 0.05529 101 70 27 4
1110 By the hour or by the day? 1.3465 0.04921 127 88 34 5
1111 Open Wheel isn't until 5. You can come back then. 1.3462 0.05595 104 73 26 5
1112 Hmm this isn’t exactly the kind of spin class I signed up for! 1.3459 0.05124 133 95 30 8
1113 I do sense your enthusiasm for this role... however it did take you 4 hours to fill in this form... 1.3458 0.05954 107 78 21 8
1114 This is not really a position where you can climb the corporate ladder. 1.3455 0.05694 110 79 24 7
1115 We'll get you up to speed before throwing you into the rat race. 1.3455 0.05236 110 76 30 4
1116 We did offer you an introductory equipment tour before you signed up for your year long membership. 1.3455 0.05839 110 80 22 8
1117 Have you ever won any races? 1.3455 0.05839 110 80 22 8
1118 I need to get back into shape. The hare want's a rematch! 1.3451 0.06256 113 86 15 12
1119 Steady isn't the problem. 1.3451 0.05446 113 80 27 6
1120 We're going to have to let you go. 1.3448 0.05757 116 85 22 9
1121 Come out of your shell and have some fun. 1.3448 0.05210 116 81 30 5
1122 The maze might be more your speed. 1.3448 0.05757 116 85 22 9
1123 Welcome to the corporate life, it's not as bad as it looks 1.3448 0.05352 116 82 28 6
1124 You thought we were simply born faster? 1.3445 0.05526 119 86 25 8
1125 Sorry, wrong rodent. This is spin class not ninja class. 1.3445 0.05778 119 88 21 10
1126 Promise me you won’t just sit there. We have a show to put on. 1.3445 0.05395 119 85 27 7
1127 Speed makes no difference. You're not going anywhere! 1.3445 0.05653 119 87 23 9
1128 You beat the rabbit we think you can beat the mice. 1.3443 0.05554 122 89 24 9
1129 We started 15 minutes ago while you were putting on your running shoes. 1.3441 0.06209 93 67 20 6
1130 You were referred by the Hare. 1.3438 0.06075 96 69 21 6
1131 This isn't about slow and steady. 1.3438 0.05014 128 90 32 6
1132 I may be slow but I'm sure footed . 1.3438 0.05892 96 68 23 5
1133 The point? 1.3438 0.05892 96 68 23 5
1134 So you’ve decided to stick your neck out and try something new? 1.3438 0.06075 96 69 21 6
1135 We'll hire anyone at this point. Are you interested? 1.3438 0.05892 96 68 23 5
1136 Sorry, but you can't take that on with you. 1.3435 0.04939 131 92 33 6
1137 Unfortunately you’ve gotta be under 2” long to ride this ride. 1.3435 0.04939 131 92 33 6
1138 Looking at your resume, we just don't think you can handle the rat race. 1.3434 0.06119 99 72 20 7
1139 Your willingness is commendable, but 'slow and steady' is just not gonna cut it! 1.3431 0.05659 102 72 25 5
1140 Go at your own pace and remember: it’s not a rat race, it’s a rat marathon. 1.3431 0.06152 102 75 19 8
1141 No, we don’t have one with water. 1.3431 0.05659 102 72 25 5
1142 I also take a very long lunch. 1.3431 0.05659 102 72 25 5
1143 Yes, they look funny but have you seen humans on treadmills 1.3429 0.05552 105 74 26 5
1144 Sir, I realize you got here before Mister Hare, but he made an online reservation for this 1 O'Clock Spin Class, 1.3426 0.05607 108 77 25 6
1145 You'll kill'em in the endurance events but you don't stand a chance in the artistic program. 1.3426 0.05759 108 78 23 7
1146 You're gonna need to change into yoga pants. 1.3423 0.06070 111 83 18 10
1147 No rush. 1.3423 0.05651 111 80 24 7
1148 I'm sorry, the feeling was you just wouldn't fit in with the culture 1.3423 0.05198 111 77 30 4
1149 According to my clipboard, you were supposed to be here yesterday.” 1.3423 0.05651 111 80 24 7
1150 Come back next evolutionary cycle 1.3423 0.05504 111 79 26 6
1151 Oh don’t worry, it’s a beginners class. 1.3423 0.05934 111 82 20 9
1152 It's my job to bring you up to speed on how we do things here. 1.3419 0.05451 117 84 26 7
1153 YOU'RE the new spin class instructor? 1.3419 0.05584 117 85 24 8
1154 Have you considered applying to Mazes? 1.3417 0.05487 120 87 25 8
1155 I've done all I can. Slow and steady just isn't gonna cut it anymore. 1.3417 0.05358 120 86 27 7
1156 Steady is still slow, sorry. 1.3415 0.05141 123 87 30 6
1157 Unfortunately you can't cancel your membership in the middle of your contract 1.3413 0.05539 126 93 23 10
1158 Take your time and you’ll be surprised at the results! 1.3407 0.06485 91 67 17 7
1159 Sorry dude, the class started two hours ago. 1.3400 0.05724 100 71 24 5
1160 Sure, we can get you in to shape. When is the big race? 1.3398 0.06255 103 77 17 9
1161 This is not a shell game. 1.3398 0.06552 103 79 13 11
1162 I know, I know, I just want to use the free weights. 1.3398 0.06101 103 76 19 8
1163 I feel it’s unwise for me to let you cancel your gym membership. 1.3398 0.05781 103 74 23 6
1164 Unfortunately, we have decided to move ahead with other candidates. 1.3398 0.05614 103 73 25 5
1165 Listen, I don’t care what hare you say you beat. 1.3398 0.05614 103 73 25 5
1166 Join our ‘beat the hare in 6 months plan’ and I’ll wave your membership fee 1.3398 0.06101 103 76 19 8
1167 Easy does it, can ya do that. 1.3396 0.05978 106 78 20 8
1168 So after the Hare, you choose us? 1.3396 0.05669 106 76 24 6
1169 ‘Well your track record is good...’ 1.3396 0.05669 106 76 24 6
1170 This will improve your speed and agility... 1.3394 0.05714 109 79 23 7
1171 Sorry, this is the rat race department, you don't meet the stress-level requirements 1.3394 0.06004 109 81 19 9
1172 Yes sir, but in this case, "slow and steady" doesn't really work. 1.3393 0.05463 112 80 26 6
1173 ‘Look, I believe ya, but this ain’t a race and we ain’t rabbits’ 1.3393 0.05002 112 77 32 3
1174 Look, Mike, it's peak cardio hours. You get 30 minutes then you're off. Got it? 1.3391 0.05508 115 83 25 7
1175 That'll be two chunks of cheese. In one week, you'll look just like them..........guaranteed! 1.3387 0.05233 124 89 28 7
1176 Sorry but the reservation says Hare 1.3387 0.05357 124 90 26 8
1177 Trust me ,working from home isn't all it is cracked up to be. 1.3386 0.05027 127 90 31 6
1178 This is the Rat Race Study. Tortoise and Hare is down the hall. 1.3373 0.06477 83 60 18 5
1179 I’m sorry, but I’m afraid you have the wrong parable. 1.3373 0.06477 83 60 18 5
1180 The Hare is waiting for you in the other lab…this is the rat race 1.3372 0.06322 86 62 19 5
1181 Oh rats. 1.3372 0.06102 86 61 21 4
1182 Don't worry, I'm from maintenance. 1.3371 0.05523 89 61 26 2
1183 Yep, we have one vacancy. The hare just checked out. 1.3371 0.06177 89 64 20 5
1184 I’ve told you before...you can’t enter the club until you get your salmonella vaccine 1.3370 0.06786 92 70 13 9
1185 I’m sorry, this race is for rats only. 1.3370 0.05632 92 64 25 3
1186 If that happens, your trainer can flip you. 1.3368 0.05521 95 66 26 3
1187 To be honest, I think this is a win-win. We both have issues with turnover. 1.3368 0.06099 95 69 20 6
1188 I know the deadline was Thursday, but we're really spinning our wheels here. 1.3368 0.06099 95 69 20 6
1189 Give it a whirl; once you start, you find you can't stop 1.3368 0.06456 95 71 16 8
1190 I’m sorry sir I cannot accept your submission to the gym at this time, what happens when you land on your back. 1.3368 0.06280 95 70 18 7
1191 Let me tell you how the rat race works.. 1.3367 0.06313 98 73 17 8
1192 Hmm...we were expecting less “slow and steady” and more “win the race! 1.3367 0.06144 98 72 19 7
1193 And then what, race a rabbit??? 1.3365 0.05895 104 76 21 7
1194 Your résumé shows you can spin your wheels, but you lack experience in getting nowhere fast. 1.3365 0.05895 104 76 21 7
1195 I recommend starting with the treadmill. 1.3364 0.05625 107 77 24 6
1196 We do require you wear your Fitbit. 1.3363 0.05275 113 80 28 5
1197 This is just crazy enough to work. 1.3362 0.05329 116 83 27 6
1198 I’m sorry, but if you’re not into backflips, this isn’t the right place for you. 1.3362 0.05736 116 86 21 9
1199 Look, we agreed, this is not in your wheel house. 1.3362 0.05040 116 81 31 4
1200 I beat all the hares and I’ll beat you too! 1.3361 0.05758 119 89 20 10
1201 You'll need to come out of your shell to enjoy this one. 1.3361 0.05155 122 87 29 6
1202 You expect me to believe that every member of your family lived past 125 years and not one had a health club membership? 1.3361 0.05535 122 90 23 9
1203 Trust me, you want no part of this 1.3361 0.05656 122 91 21 10
1204 Absolutely not. The hare told us all about you. 1.3358 0.04962 134 96 31 7
1205 Since you've already beaten the hare, you automatically qualify. 1.3358 0.05499 134 101 21 12
1206 As long as you can right yourself up when you flip over, you are good to go. 1.3356 0.04887 146 106 31 9
1207 You don't look like a ninja to me 1.3333 0.06398 96 72 16 8
1208 We charge by the hour,not the rotation. Understand? 1.3333 0.05429 117 85 25 7
1209 You're telling me we hired you on our Equal Opportunities program? 1.3333 0.06445 108 84 12 12
1210 Did you get the letter of recommendation from the hare? 1.3333 0.05480 111 80 25 6
1211 Are there ever any winners in the rat race? 1.3333 0.05525 105 75 25 5
1212 As you can see, our cardio room is pretty awesome.” 1.3333 0.06002 105 78 19 8
1213 Listen to me please! As I've been saying to you for the past hour, "Ready. Set. Go!" 1.3333 0.05564 135 103 19 13
1214 Yeah, it's probably an ADA violation, but that's way above my pay grade. 1.3333 0.06002 105 78 19 8
1215 You're not the ideal hire, but you are diverse. 1.3333 0.05694 117 87 21 9
1216 Sir, the "Slow and Steady" study is down the hall. 1.3333 0.05237 114 81 28 5
1217 No this is the rat race. You’re looking for the Hare and Tortoise race... go further up and take a left 1.3333 0.05847 105 77 21 7
1218 We've heard good things about you from our friend hare 1.3333 0.05429 117 85 25 7
1219 Maybe this time you won’t lose by a hare. 1.3333 0.06365 93 69 17 7
1220 It's just how we roll. 1.3333 0.05664 114 84 22 8
1221 Look, if you’re going to beat that Hare you need to train 1.3333 0.05771 111 82 21 8
1222 I’m sorry, but the beginner spin class meets on Tuesdays. 1.3307 0.05250 127 93 26 8
1223 I'm sorry, but the last tortoise we had just didn't work out. 1.3306 0.05428 121 89 24 8
1224 Your fitness goal is to "beat the hare"? 1.3305 0.05254 118 85 27 6
1225 Sorry, these are only for going nowhere quickly. 1.3304 0.05485 115 84 24 7
1226 I'm not sure you understand. These are tryouts for Cirque de Soleil. 1.3304 0.05727 112 83 21 8
1227 … but it says here you have wheel world experience 1.3302 0.05953 106 79 19 8
1228 It's $10 an hour no matter how little progress you make 1.3301 0.05753 103 75 22 6
1229 Slow and steady? We’re looking more for someone to enter the rat race. 1.3301 0.06230 103 78 16 9
1230 Are you sure you read all of the Terms & Conditions?” 1.3301 0.05917 103 76 20 7
1231 Since the pandemic we’ve struggled to keep up interest in the rat race so we’re loosening requirements 1.3301 0.05412 103 73 26 4
1232 The Slow and Steady class ended two hours ago. 1.3300 0.06204 100 75 17 8
1233 Of course you qualify. It's only a shell game. 1.3300 0.06039 100 74 19 7
1234 Sorry, but there’s a minimum speed requirement. 1.3300 0.05515 100 71 25 4
1235 ‘Agreed then - quiz team names - The Tortillas v. The Ratatouillees.’ 1.3300 0.06365 100 76 15 9
1236 You'll be outrunning that hare in no time. 1.3299 0.06341 97 73 16 8
1237 OK, so it looks like you've been assigned to the control group. 1.3299 0.05811 97 70 22 5
1238 Okay, but you have to sign a release if your shell cracks. 1.3299 0.06341 97 73 16 8
1239 There is no hare. 1.3299 0.05993 97 71 20 6
1240 Aesop thinks you need to workout? 1.3299 0.05811 97 70 22 5
1241 We have an opening - but you'll need to hit the ground running. 1.3298 0.06486 94 71 15 8
1242 Well, we have win, place, show, and still. 1.3298 0.06123 94 69 19 6
1243 Sorry, we are holding it for the Hare. 1.3298 0.05737 94 67 23 4
1244 no,the application requirements have not changed since last time 1.3298 0.06660 94 72 13 9
1245 You get a free, one-hour session with a personal trainer when you join. 1.3297 0.06063 91 66 20 5
1246 I'm sorry, but it'll take too long to get you up to speed. 1.3297 0.06063 91 66 20 5
1247 It’s not for everybody. 1.3297 0.05859 91 65 22 4
1248 Participation counts. 1.3297 0.05646 91 64 24 3
1249 Our program is less about weight training and more about cardio, which comes in handy when eluding cats. 1.3295 0.05765 88 62 23 3
1250 Sorry, none of our treadmills have a "slow as molasses" setting! 1.3295 0.05534 88 61 25 2
1251 Can I see your medical release? 1.3294 0.06124 85 61 20 4
1252 No, I'm not trying to give you the run around. 1.3294 0.06348 85 62 18 5
1253 We can offer you a teaching role 1.3284 0.05056 134 98 28 8
1254 Sure we have a diversity and inclusivity policy in place 1.3279 0.05132 122 88 28 6
1255 Says here you "beat a hare?" tell me about that. 1.3277 0.05737 119 90 19 10
1256 I know you beat a rabbit, but this is not a good fit for you. 1.3277 0.05352 119 87 25 7
1257 What makes you think you can win the million dollars? 1.3274 0.05684 113 84 21 8
1258 Your application form stated that you support diversity. 1.3273 0.05646 110 81 22 7
1259 Don’t let the humans confuse you. Our rat race comes with guaranteed medical and dental. 1.3273 0.05792 110 82 20 8
1260 Stanley, go home. You’re embarrassing me! 1.3273 0.05496 110 80 24 6
1261 Welcome to the rat race. Please take a number 1.3271 0.05274 107 76 27 4
1262 Thanks for coming. We will call you… 1.3271 0.06197 107 82 15 10
1263 We're very happy you've applied: we're looking to diversify our team. Good luck!" 1.3271 0.05274 107 76 27 4
1264 I’m sorry sir, that one is reserved. 1.3271 0.05905 107 80 19 8
1265 Turns out the rat race just isn’t for me… Anyway, good luck! 1.3271 0.05599 107 78 23 6
1266 I’m dropping out of the rat race. 1.3269 0.06178 104 79 16 9
1267 I wonder if perhaps you'd be more suited to a work-from-home arrangement. 1.3269 0.05868 104 77 20 7
1268 Yes, we do have a lettuce bar. 1.3269 0.05541 104 75 24 5
1269 Dammit, Harold, I know you think everyone else is holding you back, but look at yourself - yet again you've come to work dressed as a turtle. 1.3267 0.05988 101 75 19 7
1270 Shell out and/or you're out!" 1.3267 0.06151 101 76 17 8
1271 Take your time. We have got all day. 1.3267 0.06151 101 76 17 8
1272 Don’t worry, I’ll take it slow. 1.3265 0.05761 98 71 22 5
1273 Your CV doesn't mention the hare taking a nap. 1.3265 0.05941 98 72 20 6
1274 Read the room, Baby. 1.3265 0.05941 98 72 20 6
1275 You're late. Again. 1.3263 0.05487 95 67 25 3
1276 Hello, "I'm here to give the slow and steady wins the race Ted Talk." 1.3263 0.06068 95 70 19 6
1277 You're not getting on until you sign the liability waiver. 1.3263 0.05881 95 69 21 5
1278 I don’t know, let me check the rule book. 1.3261 0.05806 92 66 22 4
1279 Are you considering a career change? 1.3261 0.06393 92 69 16 7
1280 We all know the story, now prove it. 1.3258 0.07106 89 70 9 10
1281 Sorry, it's not that you're too slow; you're just not a rat. 1.3258 0.06545 89 67 15 7
1282 Welcome to Amazon! 1.3258 0.06347 89 66 17 6
1283 Welcome, at last, to our futility in motion study. 1.3256 0.06500 86 64 16 6
1284 It's only two kernals a ride 1.3256 0.05063 129 94 28 7
1285 What do you mean, ‘what’s the point?’ What’s the point of poetry? What’s the point of sex? What’s the point of chocolate cake with ice cream? 1.3250 0.05314 120 88 25 7
1286 How's your typing? 1.3248 0.04830 117 82 32 3
1287 Sorry you’re late for your reservation. 1.3246 0.04905 114 80 31 3
1288 Sorry, but the shell has got to go. 1.3243 0.05302 111 80 26 5
1289 Look, we’re into diversity here and not trying to set new records. Just do your best. 1.3243 0.05602 111 82 22 7
1290 Almost instantly, Jason could hear the wheels turning. 1.3243 0.05302 111 80 26 5
1291 I do better on marathons. 1.3241 0.05555 108 79 23 6
1292 Sorry, but you are not the right fit for the job. 1.3241 0.05555 108 79 23 6
1293 We work wonders here, not miracles. 1.3241 0.05555 108 79 23 6
1294 Hi, Tom, we have you pencilled in for the Maze at 3:00! 1.3241 0.05708 108 80 21 7
1295 Yes, it's funny that you put caffine in their water but I still think you should leave 1.3238 0.06274 105 81 14 10
1296 Come out of your shell a little, now. 1.3238 0.05820 105 78 20 7
1297 We were expecting an iguana. 1.3238 0.05327 105 75 26 4
1298 Our study needs a baseline measurement... that's where you come in. 1.3238 0.05975 105 79 18 8
1299 After this, you can practice climbing up the corporate ladder. 1.3238 0.05327 105 75 26 4
1300 What kind of workout did you have in mind? 1.3235 0.06256 102 78 15 9
1301 It’s new and needs to be run in slowly. 1.3235 0.05601 102 74 23 5
1302 I can only guarantee you fourth place. 1.3235 0.05772 102 75 21 6
1303 Congratulations! You’ve won! 1.3235 0.06410 102 79 13 10
1304 We really think this will help you get out of your shell.. 1.3235 0.05425 102 73 25 4
1305 We appreciate you figuratively coming out of your shell, but for legal reasons your physical shell must stay on at all times 1.3232 0.05890 99 73 20 6
1306 I’m sorry, but armored protection is not allowed. 1.3232 0.05712 99 72 22 5
1307 You have great experience, but you're not really a culture fit. 1.3232 0.05712 99 72 22 5
1308 I really think you'd be more suited for our rock sitting study. 1.3229 0.05638 96 69 23 4
1309 Listen,I know you beat the hare,but this is a real rat race. 1.3229 0.06194 96 72 17 7
1310 Not in your wheelhouse,buddy. 1.3229 0.05829 96 70 21 5
1311 You looked a lot more "hampster-like" in your online profile. 1.3229 0.06014 96 71 19 6
1312 I know that slow and steady wins the race, but. . . . 1.3226 0.05547 93 66 24 3
1313 I’m sorry, but whoever told you this is an equal opportunity fitness center was mistaken. 1.3226 0.05753 93 67 22 4
1314 I'm not sure this is the right job for you. 1.3222 0.05876 90 65 21 4
1315 Wait, you're how old!? 1.3222 0.06085 90 66 19 5
1316 The Ninja class starts at eleven. 1.3222 0.06482 90 68 15 7
1317 ....please remove all jewelry, defense forces and/or mobile homes... 1.3222 0.05876 90 65 21 4
1318 Sorry only if you’re vaccinated. 1.3220 0.05090 118 85 28 5
1319 Well, YOU'RE not a hamster, either! 1.3220 0.05367 118 87 24 7
1320 Neurotypical or not, Randall, I’m going to need you to spin that wheel. 1.3218 0.06640 87 66 14 7
1321 We'd be more interested in your participation if you'd come out of your shell. 1.3217 0.05319 115 84 25 6
1322 Don't. Nobody wins the rat race. 1.3217 0.05599 115 86 21 8
1323 You need to get out of your shell. 1.3214 0.05978 112 86 16 10
1324 You realize if you end up on your back, there's little we can do. 1.3214 0.05906 84 60 21 3
1325 Sorry, this is spinning - you should be in swimming! 1.3214 0.06374 84 62 17 5
1326 Can you work outside the box? 1.3211 0.05664 109 81 21 7
1327 We’ll have you in shape for the Olympics in 2 weeks! 1.3211 0.05812 109 82 19 8
1328 We heard you beat the hare, so we have pretty high expectations about what you can do here. 1.3211 0.05355 109 79 25 5
1329 Your numbers are low, Gary. 1.3210 0.06533 81 60 16 5
1330 I know you need the money but I don't think this job is for you. 1.3208 0.05453 106 77 24 5
1331 It’s incredibly interesting work. 1.3208 0.06076 106 81 16 9
1332 Slow and steady just won't cut it in this rat race. 1.3208 0.05927 106 80 18 8
1333 If this guy is a no-show you can take a spin. 1.3208 0.05615 106 78 22 6
1334 No, they won’t give you a head start. 1.3204 0.05382 103 74 25 4
1335 I’m sorry pal; no matter how you spin it, it’s just not gonna work. 1.3204 0.05556 103 75 23 5
1336 Have heard of Aesop? 1.3204 0.05888 103 77 19 7
1337 Start off slowly 1.3204 0.05888 103 77 19 7
1338 My Mom said I'm too sedentary. 1.3204 0.05556 103 75 23 5
1339 You also have to wipe the machine down after each workout. 1.3204 0.05724 103 76 21 6
1340 I wouldn't exactly call it upward mobility... 1.3204 0.05382 103 74 25 4
1341 You beat the hare, dude! Rest on your laurels. 1.3200 0.06886 75 56 14 5
1342 You help our diversity numbers but I'm afraid you'll bring down our turns per user measure 1.3200 0.05664 100 73 22 5
1343 We suggest you finish Treadmill 101 before advancing to Spin class.” 1.3200 0.06010 100 75 18 7
1344 Might seem crazy, but trust me, it'll be good training for that thing you have with the hare. 1.3200 0.05101 100 70 28 2
1345 Your CV said you beat the rabbit. It doesn't say how. 1.3196 0.05778 97 71 21 5
1346 Can you please explain this "slow and steady" reference on your application? 1.3196 0.05394 97 69 25 3
1347 Proof of vaccination is right here on my phone. 1.3196 0.06139 97 73 17 7
1348 I see by your resume, here, that you won a race with a hare! 1.3191 0.05899 94 69 20 5
1349 No, I'm just saying, this one may not be for you. 1.3190 0.05557 116 87 21 8
1350 Do your best to fit in, but we both know who here is the independent variable. 1.3190 0.05557 116 87 21 8
1351 It's never going to work out for you here until you come out of your shell. 1.3187 0.06028 91 67 19 5
1352 It says here you work well in a fast paced environment. 1.3187 0.05822 91 66 21 4
1353 So, you have to train for an important race in the next few days, right? 1.3187 0.05822 91 66 21 4
1354 Would you be willing to work weekends? 1.3186 0.05223 113 82 26 5
1355 Sorry I'm late. It's taking me longer than I expected getting back into the rat race. 1.3182 0.06373 88 66 16 6
1356 third wheel is open 1.3182 0.05469 110 81 23 6
1357 Have you used the equipment before? 1.3182 0.05314 110 80 25 5
1358 No, this is the rat race floor. Turtles? All the way down. 1.3182 0.05949 88 64 20 4
1359 Nice Try Morty! You know I can still recognize you under that shell. 30 minute cardio timelimit per member on the treadmills! 1.3182 0.05766 110 83 19 8
1360 Eventually I will win the race. 1.3182 0.04991 110 78 29 3
1361 Listen, it's not about competing with others. Our fitness program is about doing *your* best and improving *your* life while breaking the cycle of bad habits by introducing a healthier wheel. And, yes, with consistency you too could one day have the sleek mouse body you've always dreamed of. 1.3182 0.05620 110 82 21 7
1362 Just roll with it. 1.3178 0.05879 107 81 18 8
1363 We believe in equality over equity here. In fact, I don't even SEE your shell. You just look like another living thing to me! 1.3178 0.05245 107 77 26 4
1364 We need some diversity, you’re hired. 1.3176 0.06083 85 62 19 4
1365 Sorry, SNAFU, you’re scheduled for tomorrow, with the hares. 1.3176 0.06739 85 65 13 7
1366 Your results may vary. 1.3176 0.06739 85 65 13 7
1367 Is there a special offer for a yearly membership? 1.3176 0.05849 85 61 21 3
1368 No, no. This is the ‘NASA Training Facility: Rodent Division.’ Tortoise tumbling tryouts are down the hall. 1.3173 0.05339 104 75 25 4
1369 I'm sorry, but one revolution every three days is not satisfactory. 1.3173 0.06301 104 81 13 10
1370 I'm sorry, but your previous experience isn't relevant. 1.3171 0.05204 123 91 25 7
1371 You're welcome to set your own pace. 1.3168 0.05790 101 75 20 6
1372 I see your excellent CV, but your rpm is a little low… Could you try to move faster? 1.3168 0.06282 101 78 14 9
1373 The control group. 1.3168 0.05617 101 74 22 5
1374 Sorry, the hare has already finished" 1.3168 0.05959 101 76 18 7
1375 Don't be intimidated! Carl on the left was a turtle himself when he started working out at Squeakinox 1.3168 0.05790 101 75 20 6
1376 Don't call us, we'll call you 1.3168 0.05790 101 75 20 6
1377 It's not you -- we start *everyone* out on the treadmill. 1.3163 0.05728 98 72 21 5
1378 Well now I’ve heard every excuse for being late. 1.3163 0.06421 98 76 13 9
1379 Yes, we are accepting of everyone, but are you sure about this? 1.3163 0.05909 98 73 19 6
1380 We are looking for new employees who possess a diversity of talents and skills. Unfortunately, slow and steady isn't one of them. 1.3158 0.05652 95 69 22 4
1381 Are you sure you want to compete with them? 1.3158 0.06218 95 72 16 7
1382 Let's take it slow at first. 1.3158 0.05476 114 85 22 7
1383 Respectfully, Sir, I think you’re at the wrong race. 1.3158 0.05476 114 85 22 7
1384 Oh come on, we’re not going anywhere. 1.3154 0.05126 130 97 25 8
1385 Ya gotta give me a shot - I'll win by a hare. 1.3153 0.05427 111 82 23 6
1386 If you're serious about beating the hare then you'll want to opt for our Platinum Membership. 1.3153 0.05116 111 80 27 4
1387 Have you ever completed an exercise in futility? 1.3153 0.05274 111 81 25 5
1388 You too could get a body like this for the low price of $199/month 1.3152 0.05972 92 68 19 5
1389 It’s either this or back to the same old shell game. 1.3148 0.06261 108 85 12 11
1390 Ok, let’s see if we can slow down this rat race. 1.3148 0.05527 108 80 22 6
1391 It’s a high-pressure environment, sure, but these jobs aren’t going anywhere. 1.3146 0.06311 89 67 16 6
1392 I just got the results from your last race. Welcome to the team. Wheel number 3. 1.3146 0.05671 89 64 22 3
1393 Hantavirus vaccine passport, please. 1.3140 0.06024 86 63 19 4
1394 Nice guys finish last. 1.3140 0.06024 86 63 19 4
1395 Don't worry - they're all blind. 1.3140 0.05551 86 61 23 2
1396 Honestly... I think this place is not quite your wheelhouse 1.3140 0.06670 86 66 13 7
1397 Sorry, this is sales training. Customer service training is down the hall. 1.3137 0.05570 102 75 22 5
1398 So what you are saying is that this company does not have a equal opportunities policy in place? 1.3137 0.05908 102 77 18 7
1399 You would really need to come out of your shell. 1.3133 0.06397 83 62 16 5
1400 We really wanted to get a judge from outside the industry... 1.3133 0.06623 83 63 14 6
1401 I'm sorry. We're holding that one for the hare. 1.3131 0.05679 99 73 21 5
1402 These are mouse cycles. Turtle cycles are down the hall. 1.3130 0.05970 115 90 14 11
1403 Shells are optional. 1.3130 0.04997 115 83 28 4
1404 So, you identify as a ‘mouse’. This oughta be fun.’ 1.3125 0.05795 96 71 20 5
1405 I can't believe it, but I beat the hare here again. 1.3125 0.05386 112 83 23 6
1406 Can you explain to me again how slow and steady wins the race? 1.3125 0.05533 112 84 21 7
1407 Not to worry. It's an endurance test. 1.3119 0.05326 109 80 24 5
1408 Sorry, boss - productivity is falling this week. 1.3118 0.06483 93 72 13 8
1409 I wouldn't worry about flipping over. 1.3118 0.05716 93 68 21 4
1410 Thank you Mrs. Leonardo, I am sorry I forgot to write my name on the test paper. 1.3118 0.05917 93 69 19 5
1411 We prefer the term “Rodent Challenge” instead of the term “Rat Race 1.3118 0.05917 93 69 19 5
1412 How quickly can you get up to speed? 1.3118 0.05917 93 69 19 5
1413 If you work hard, you’ll go places in this company. 1.3118 0.05508 93 67 23 3
1414 No question we can get you to that level, with the platinum membership. 1.3113 0.05899 106 81 17 8
1415 The position does require a certain flexibility 1.3113 0.05586 106 79 21 6
1416 During this first phase of the study, we will focus on the journey. We will address the destination in phase two. 1.3111 0.06047 90 67 18 5
1417 I'm sorry Mr. Hamster, we did not realize you were a turtle when you made the reservation. 1.3111 0.05837 90 66 20 4
1418 Hmmm, I don't know. Looks like your boot camp's just training everyone to go nowhere fast. 1.3111 0.06823 90 71 10 9
1419 Previously won a race against a hare you say...? 1.3111 0.05837 90 66 20 4
1420 You may have beaten the hare, but you're not even in the rat race. 1.3109 0.05436 119 90 21 8
1421 What makes you think you are qualified for this job? 1.3107 0.05694 103 77 20 6
1422 I hope you don’t mind being the third wheel. 1.3107 0.05858 103 78 18 7
1423 This I've gotta see. 1.3103 0.06185 87 65 17 5
1424 We also have a fully stocked salad bar, if that’s more your speed. 1.3103 0.06185 87 65 17 5
1425 Don't even think about it! 1.3103 0.05736 87 63 21 3
1426 Bad news: you're late. Your race was last week. Good news: it's still in progress. 1.3100 0.05449 100 73 23 4
1427 I'm sorry, you're not quite tall enough for this ride. 1.3100 0.05808 100 75 19 6
1428 We require three references yet you've listed only one, the hare. 1.3100 0.05979 100 76 17 7
1429 I'm sorry, but you're overqualified. 1.3100 0.05449 100 73 23 4
1430 Do you have any experience going fast? 1.3100 0.05808 100 75 19 6
1431 Anthony, we broke up! Can't believe you found me at work. 1.3100 0.05979 100 76 17 7
1432 I heard you’re a good self starter 1.3100 0.05631 100 74 21 5
1433 Our spin class is open to all fitness levels. 1.3097 0.05633 113 86 19 8
1434 … and remember, slow and steady wins the race. 1.3095 0.05861 84 61 20 3
1435 Finally! A certified racing champion, here to show us how to do this right! 1.3095 0.06332 84 63 16 5
1436 We do have a slot open here, Mr Green, but this rat race isn't for everyone. Some crack under pressure. 1.3093 0.05357 97 70 24 3
1437 Management tryouts are next door. 1.3093 0.06280 97 75 14 8
1438 The moral of the story is that life is meaningless. 1.3093 0.05928 97 73 18 6
1439 Just because we spread plagues doesn’t meant we don’t believe in social distancing…You’ll have to wait for another treadmill. 1.3093 0.05928 97 73 18 6
1440 Is there a work from home option? 1.3093 0.06106 97 74 16 7
1441 Your resume states that you beat the hair? 1.3091 0.05125 110 80 26 4
1442 We don’t have an extra wheel for you right now, but you could just walk in a circle and get the same result. 1.3089 0.05180 123 92 24 7
1443 Look I don't mean to be specist,but there's no way you can participate in this critical race theory. 1.3086 0.07167 81 64 9 8
1444 I'm sorry, but you have to be blind to enter. 1.3086 0.06246 81 60 17 4
1445 But on the upside, you won't need to provide me retirement benefits for about 40 years. 1.3085 0.05863 94 70 19 5
1446 You might want to put your house in a locker. 1.3085 0.05459 94 68 23 3
1447 No, I don't think the rat race will bring you out of your shell! 1.3085 0.05459 94 68 23 3
1448 We’ll put you in the beginner’s class… 1.3084 0.05851 107 82 17 8
1449 Donatello, your training starts now 1.3084 0.05698 107 81 19 7
1450 Shell feeling a bit tight? At-home training isn’t for everyone. 1.3084 0.05041 107 77 27 3
1451 I’m sorry it took forever to get here, but to cancel the membership your letter has to be mailed. 1.3084 0.05698 107 81 19 7
1452 Peleton Pete, finally you have arrived. 1.3083 0.05773 120 94 15 11
1453 Just because you beat some hare doesn't mean you're ready to keep up in the rat race 1.3077 0.05216 117 87 24 6
1454 They still haven't realized the wheel isn't spinning, sir 1.3077 0.06190 91 69 16 6
1455 I'm here from the Department of Health - we've had complaints about droppings on the floor. 1.3077 0.05647 104 78 20 6
1456 It took me a year to get here, so move along, kid. 1.3077 0.05306 104 76 24 4
1457 Sorry kid, it’s a closed shop. 1.3077 0.05479 104 77 22 5
1458 You’ll need to take that off before you enter. 1.3077 0.05343 91 65 24 2
1459 Lose the shell and we'll talk. 1.3077 0.05990 91 68 18 5
1460 Please get back on; this pace is killing us. 1.3070 0.05305 114 85 23 6
1461 Though your resume is impressive, the rat race is truly for rats… 1.3070 0.05004 114 83 27 4
1462 I’m sorry sir but beating a hare doesn’t mean that you get a free gym membership. 1.3069 0.05583 101 75 21 5
1463 I’m assuming that’s a note from your doctor? 1.3069 0.05403 101 74 23 4
1464 I'm not sure that method applies here. 1.3069 0.05583 101 75 21 5
1465 You know how to saunter, don’t you? 1.3069 0.05217 101 73 25 3
1466 this is a fast paced environment 1.3069 0.05758 101 76 19 6
1467 The products basically sell themselves and you get to be your own boss! 1.3069 0.05583 101 75 21 5
1468 You might find our gym to be a little intimidating. 1.3069 0.05403 101 74 23 4
1469 They think it's a sprint; I know it's a marathon. 1.3068 0.05907 88 65 19 4
1470 If you're not in a hurry to go anywhere, I can explain the cardio merits of the wheel. 1.3065 0.05015 124 92 26 6
1471 Well,I suppose where there's a wheel there's a way. 1.3061 0.05876 98 74 18 6
1472 Hi. I'm here for my training session for the 2016 Olympics. 1.3059 0.06487 85 65 14 6
1473 Based on your résumé, you may be just what we’re looking for. 1.3059 0.06487 85 65 14 6
1474 Try to keep pace, I’ll be back in ten 1.3059 0.06487 85 65 14 6
1475 Where do you see yourself five years from now? 1.3058 0.05358 121 92 21 8
1476 You are too early for next year! 1.3056 0.05337 108 80 23 5
1477 Sorry, buddy. I don't make the rules. 1.3053 0.05810 95 71 19 5
1478 Just sign this liability release 1.3053 0.05614 95 70 21 4
1479 I see you have experience with hares. Have you worked in the rat race before 1.3053 0.06000 95 72 17 6
1480 Are you willing to completely devalue yourself to accept this position while I sit around and complain that no one wants to work anymore? 1.3053 0.05614 95 70 21 4
1481 If it makes you feel better, think of it this way: This job is about the journey, not the destination. 1.3051 0.05036 118 87 26 5
1482 It's not their job I'm apply for, it's yours. 1.3049 0.06651 82 63 13 6
1483 Yep, it’s been wiped down 1.3049 0.06420 82 62 15 5
1484 Wellcome fellow-new-hire! Ethnicity it’s not even a subject here… let me know if you run into any hurdles 1.3049 0.06873 82 64 11 7
1485 Two weeks and you’ll be a gym rat. 1.3048 0.05434 105 78 22 5
1486 We're looking for a shell company to transfer our assets 1.3048 0.05600 105 79 20 6
1487 Mt therapist said I needed to get out of my shell, try something different 1.3043 0.06132 92 70 16 6
1488 Slow and steady won't cut it here. 1.3043 0.05548 115 88 19 8
1489 Unfortunately, you cannot do this remotely. 1.3043 0.05729 92 68 20 4
1490 Yes! It’s a great way to warm up for a race. 1.3043 0.05729 92 68 20 4
1491 If you beat a rabbit in a race, I'm afraid you're overqualified 1.3043 0.05934 92 69 18 5
1492 have you been vaccinated? 1.3039 0.06040 102 79 15 8
1493 You know it's called a running wheel, right? 1.3039 0.05709 102 77 19 6
1494 So it says in your résumé that you can spin a wheel in under a day. 1.3039 0.05174 102 74 25 3
1495 If you'll just come for the one-hour presentation, we'll give you a $200 resort credit." 1.3039 0.05709 102 77 19 6
1496 We're trying to see your point, but we're not getting anywhere. 1.3039 0.06040 102 79 15 8
1497 We are happy to welcome you, as a new joiner, in this diversity and inclusion team building activity 1.3039 0.05174 102 74 25 3
1498 Look, I don't care whether you meant it as an insult, but these are clearly hamster wheels and if you call us that again we're going to have to ask you to leave. 1.3039 0.05358 102 75 23 4
1499 You’ll drop at least 2 shell sizes, guaranteed 1.3038 0.06826 79 61 12 6
1500 You must be the quota turtel. 1.3038 0.05510 79 56 22 1
1501 I normally say that this gives more energy and vitality, but in your case I would just lounge by the pool. 1.3036 0.05205 112 83 24 5
1502 Beating one hare doesn't really qualify you for this job. 1.3034 0.06065 89 67 17 5
1503 It's called a "rat race" for a reason. 1.3034 0.05628 89 65 21 3
1504 I trust you’ll find our evaluation process fair and unbiased. 1.3034 0.06065 89 67 17 5
1505 Yes, I know you can make it all the way up the beach and back into the ocean, but can you roll with the big boys? 1.3034 0.05851 89 66 19 4
1506 Just remember, it’s not a rat race. 1.3034 0.05628 89 65 21 3
1507 Hey Shel, you were supposed be here nine days ago. 1.3034 0.05851 89 66 19 4
1508 Just be patient when you go belly-up. 1.3030 0.05266 99 72 24 3
1509 You won't win this rat race by a hare. 1.3030 0.05998 99 76 16 7
1510 Perhaps something in accounting instead? 1.3030 0.05266 99 72 24 3
1511 Have you taken our CrossFit class before? 1.3030 0.05998 99 76 16 7
1512 Really? You HAVE passed the mandatory physical? 1.3028 0.05902 109 85 15 9
1513 Honest. When they began the program, they looked like you. 1.3023 0.06421 86 66 14 6
1514 Would you like me to hold your shell? 1.3023 0.05980 86 64 18 4
1515 Are you hiring? 1.3023 0.05980 86 64 18 4
1516 Okay, but you should know we don't pay by the hour. 1.3023 0.05980 86 64 18 4
1517 We’ve noticed a rising demand for slow motion. 1.3023 0.06204 86 65 16 5
1518 We called you back because it says on your resume you've beaten a hare at a race? 1.3023 0.05980 86 64 18 4
1519 I don't know if this rental is really your speed. 1.3021 0.05946 96 73 17 6
1520 You realize, boss, it's a myth that we actually enjoy this crap, right? 1.3021 0.05565 96 71 21 4
1521 You might want to hang up your shell before your shift starts. 1.3021 0.05364 96 70 23 3
1522 Are you sure you got the right address from the temp agency? 1.3021 0.05758 96 72 19 5
1523 It's not your speed I'm worried about, it's your attitude. 1.3021 0.06127 96 74 15 7
1524 Honestly I think you’ll do well here. Just take it slow. After all, it’s not a rat race. 1.3021 0.05565 96 71 21 4
1525 Sure, slow but steady will work. 1.3019 0.05221 106 78 24 4
1526 I think ‘slow and steady’ was the wrong advice. 1.3019 0.06168 106 84 12 10
1527 Alternative Energy, am I right? 1.3014 0.06948 73 56 12 5
1528 Let the wheel do the work. Before ya know it, you’re spinning out of control. That’s when you’ll know you’ve arrived! 1.3014 0.06948 73 56 12 5
1529 Sorry, this is restricted to Republican traitors. 1.3012 0.06353 83 63 15 5
1530 Wheely? 1.3012 0.05872 83 61 19 3
1531 You might feel more comfortable waiting for the snails to arrive. They're running a little late. 1.3012 0.06353 83 63 15 5
1532 You have to be flexible. 1.3012 0.06117 83 62 17 4
1533 Enroll today and that hare is toast. 1.3011 0.06074 93 71 16 6
1534 First time with us? Let’s start you off slow. 1.3011 0.05249 93 67 24 2
1535 My name is Aesop, and I'm not trying to prove anything. 1.3011 0.05879 93 70 18 5
1536 Sorry, only mammals get to go on The Wheel of Going Nowhere" 1.3011 0.05879 93 70 18 5
1537 It all depends, of course, on how much you want to shell out. 1.3010 0.05314 103 76 23 4
1538 They’re unsafe at high speeds, but I’ve got a good feeling here. 1.3010 0.05661 103 78 19 6
1539 Tell me, why do you want to join the rat race? 1.3010 0.05314 103 76 23 4
1540 You're just in time. We need someone with heft. 1.3000 0.05795 90 67 19 4
1541 Just go slow and steady and you'll be fine. 1.3000 0.06264 80 60 16 4
1542 So have you ever attended a spinning class? 1.3000 0.05254 110 82 23 5
1543 Sorry, the hare’s booked it. You should’ve got here earlier. 1.3000 0.06751 80 62 12 6
1544 Just because you beat the hare doesn’t mean that you’re going anywhere with this race. 1.3000 0.05411 110 83 21 6
1545 Sorry, but we couldn't hold your wheel reservation past six o'clock. 1.3000 0.06211 90 69 15 6
1546 By the time you find your way onto that wheel this cartoon caption contest will be over. 1.3000 0.06264 80 60 16 4
1547 We think outside the box. 1.3000 0.06007 90 68 17 5
1548 We’re moving in a new direction with this team; that’s where you come in. 1.3000 0.05596 100 75 20 5
1549 It’s all about mind set 1.3000 0.06007 90 68 17 5
1550 I don’t care that Aesop sent you from head office - no way I’m letting you cover Marty’s shift 1.3000 0.05412 100 74 22 4
1551 Sorry, but you don't fit the profile to join the rat race. 1.2991 0.05044 117 87 25 5
1552 ‘Slow and steady’ loses the rat race. 1.2991 0.05465 117 90 19 8
1553 Who sent you? Aesop? 1.2991 0.05598 117 91 17 9
1554 I know your endurance is strong, but this will help your speed and agility. 1.2991 0.05667 107 82 18 7
1555 I'd just like to remind you that we're not responsible for any injuries that may occur while you use our equipment. 1.2991 0.06398 107 87 8 12
1556 Remember this time, thirty minutes max if someone's waiting." 1.2990 0.06072 97 75 15 7
1557 That may be true, but this is more of a fast and unsteady situation. 1.2990 0.06246 97 76 13 8
1558 Don’t worry, one month back in the office and you’ll be back to yourself in no time 1.2990 0.05516 97 72 21 4
1559 After the last year, we're looking for some stability. 1.2989 0.05200 87 62 24 1
1560 'No, no mistake, we are trying to avoid groupthink' 1.2989 0.05691 87 64 20 3
1561 I'm here from Quality Control. 1.2989 0.06143 87 66 16 5
1562 No, the hare hasn’t signed up. 1.2989 0.06356 87 67 14 6
1563 Treadmill desks? We’ll do you one better. 1.2989 0.05921 87 65 18 4
1564 I’ll be frank, your just here to make the boss’s son look good. 1.2989 0.05691 87 64 20 3
1565 On the plus side, your productivity has been steady. 1.2987 0.06421 77 58 15 4
1566 We encourage our employees to come out of their shells 1.2981 0.05271 104 77 23 4
1567 I'm sorry, we just don't think you'll be a good fit for our organization. 1.2979 0.05825 94 71 18 5
1568 Sorry, we don't have flipping turtle insurance. 1.2979 0.05825 94 71 18 5
1569 In your case, you can always work from home. 1.2979 0.06018 94 72 16 6
1570 Let me see: ten years of school... afterwards ninety-three years in the "free" market... periods of unemployment... dumping wages... a mortgage... Congratulations - you got the job! 1.2979 0.05625 94 70 20 4
1571 The Single Ventricle group starts next. 1.2979 0.05825 94 71 18 5
1572 We do have one opening but you'll never make it before closing. 1.2979 0.06018 94 72 16 6
1573 You'll be on taking over on the wheel of justice. 1.2976 0.06728 84 66 11 7
1574 I'm sorry, but there is a slow limit. 1.2976 0.05813 84 62 19 3
1575 Shell-shocked. 1.2976 0.06287 84 64 15 5
1576 So can you see yourself working here after law school? 1.2976 0.06511 84 65 13 6
1577 Yeah, I show your start time as 9 a.m., but for two months ago. 1.2973 0.06002 74 54 18 2
1578 Sorry, Buddy—you’re three days late for the interview 1.2970 0.05548 101 76 20 5
1579 Well, after I didn't get a callback for the lead, I thought I might still be qualified for the chorus line? 1.2970 0.05367 101 75 22 4
1580 Still, I admire your commitment to a more sustainable world. 1.2967 0.05949 91 69 17 5
1581 Take your time, we're open all day. 1.2967 0.05741 91 68 19 4
1582 You’re only competing with yourself. 1.2967 0.06347 91 71 13 7
1583 Hare? There's no hare here. 1.2966 0.05008 118 88 25 5
1584 It's not about speed, it's about rhythm. 1.2963 0.06197 81 61 16 4
1585 Listen, I’ve been at this for years and as long as you keep the wheel moving you’re golden 1.2963 0.05943 81 60 18 3
1586 It's taking us a while to get back to the old rat race. 1.2959 0.05468 98 73 21 4
1587 I don't think saying you identify as a hamster will make a difference to the wheel. 1.2958 0.06771 71 54 13 4
1588 Sorry, that one is reserved for the hare. 1.2955 0.06082 88 67 16 5
1589 Are you absolutely sure you want to join the rat race 1.2955 0.05399 88 64 22 2
1590 I know you make good soup. 1.2955 0.06293 88 68 14 6
1591 After I beat the Hare I figured I'd come check out this 'rat race' I heard about. 1.2955 0.05863 88 66 18 4
1592 Number 3 is open but watch your speed. 1.2955 0.05399 88 64 22 2
1593 We value diversity but wearing shell is against our policy 1.2955 0.06497 88 69 12 7
1594 She ain’t fancy, but she’ll get ya there.... wanna take her for a spin? 1.2955 0.04891 88 62 26 0
1595 Your resume is impressive, but I noticed there is quite a long career gap. 1.2955 0.06082 88 67 16 5
1596 I want to make a diversity hire. But then you claim our system is rigged against you. 1.2949 0.06350 78 59 15 4
1597 I usually encourage participants to concentrate on the exercise aspect but in your case I’d say focus more on the futility. 1.2949 0.06607 78 60 13 5
1598 This is speed; stamina is a different machine. 1.2947 0.05157 95 69 24 2
1599 Sorry. Athletes are required to compete in the category of their species at birth 1.2947 0.05574 95 71 20 4
1600 I know. I know. But the hares are still working remotely. 1.2947 0.05962 95 73 16 6
1601 You know that we can't really pay you 12 dollars an hour 1.2947 0.05962 95 73 16 6
1602 Slow and steady you say? You understand it's a rat race? 1.2947 0.06147 95 74 14 7
1603 Title IX does not apply. 1.2946 0.05327 112 85 21 6
1604 Just to be clear,no one wins this race. 1.2941 0.06223 85 65 15 5
1605 Sorry sir. It's the only thing available. 1.2941 0.05246 85 61 23 1
1606 I feel like your just hiring me because of my race. You know, the RAT race 1.2941 0.05993 85 64 17 4
1607 Sorry, but you must be at least this fast to ride. 1.2936 0.05873 109 86 14 9
1608 'Slow and steady'?" How about 'not drunk'? 1.2935 0.06093 92 71 15 6
1609 You're the only one who's made actual progress. 1.2935 0.05687 92 69 19 4
1610 The people who want slow Internet are going to love you 1.2935 0.05687 92 69 19 4
1611 You're here because of your work in the hare race, which tells you everything you need to know about management. 1.2935 0.06473 92 73 11 8
1612 I don’t think you’re cut out for this rat race. You look more like the “work from home” type. 1.2935 0.05687 92 69 19 4
1613 Your gym will be re-opening soon " 1.2929 0.05420 99 74 21 4
1614 Just say "circle back" and you've got the job. 1.2929 0.05227 99 73 23 3
1615 We are looking for someone with wheel enthusiasm, on a rotational basis. Does that sound like you, sir? 1.2929 0.05420 99 74 21 4
1616 No pressure, but the hare also trains on this three times a week. 1.2927 0.05881 82 61 18 3
1617 Did you have a cough or fever in the last 14 days? 1.2927 0.05881 82 61 18 3
1618 The "slow and steady" models are still on backorder 1.2925 0.05356 106 80 21 5
1619 Impressive. Last week I beat a hare. 1.2925 0.05838 106 83 15 8
1620 Look buddy, here slow and steady does not win the race. 1.2921 0.05806 89 67 18 4
1621 You're hired, Amazon is pro diversity! 1.2921 0.05806 89 67 18 4
1622 Well, it's your shell, not mine." 1.2921 0.05806 89 67 18 4
1623 I'll shout discrimination. 1.2921 0.06231 89 69 14 6
1624 Sorry. It's a liability issue. 1.2921 0.05806 89 67 18 4
1625 Yes, the job posting does say "Equal Opportunity Employer" 1.2921 0.06022 89 68 16 5
1626 It's a rat race but your welcome to try! 1.2921 0.06231 89 69 14 6
1627 So tell me why you want to work for us. 1.2921 0.05348 89 65 22 2
1628 I have wheel #3 open but it's probably not your speed 1.2921 0.05348 89 65 22 2
1629 Perhaps you'd like to try the carousel instead? 1.2921 0.05582 89 66 20 3
1630 I’m sorry, but you just missed marathon practice. It was last month. 1.2921 0.05806 89 67 18 4
1631 No, you can’t work from home.” 🏡 1.2921 0.05348 89 65 22 2
1632 Look pal, training starts at 12. You have to be on time. 1.2921 0.05806 89 67 18 4
1633 We don't discriminate based on race results. 1.2920 0.05433 113 87 19 7
1634 No! I thought I was here to race a rabbit. 1.2920 0.05433 113 87 19 7
1635 I know, I know, but "slow and steady" doesn't fit our business model. 1.2917 0.05524 96 72 20 4
1636 These diversity quotas are getting ridiculous 1.2917 0.05322 96 71 22 3
1637 HR wants to try slow and steady. 1.2917 0.05719 96 73 18 5
1638 I ‘m sorry, but I just don’t think you’re cut out for the rat race. 1.2917 0.05524 96 72 20 4
1639 We need someone with a good backbone 1.2917 0.05719 96 73 18 5
1640 Unfortunately, you’re not currently in the running for the open position. 1.2913 0.06267 103 83 10 10
1641 Just beaten the rabbit in a race? Sorry, you are way overqualified. 1.2911 0.06280 79 60 15 4
1642 Roll-flex is guaranteed to increase your speed 200%, you'll be painting a lightning bolt on the side of that shell! 1.2911 0.06280 79 60 15 4
1643 Welcome to the rat race. The best way to win is not to enter it. 1.2909 0.05059 110 82 24 4
1644 Slow and steady ain’t gonna cut it here. 1.2909 0.05532 110 85 18 7
1645 Join our 2 months training program .... Slow and steady doesn't work anymore 1.2909 0.05379 110 84 20 6
1646 So you say your name is Rabbit, huh? 1.2907 0.05933 86 65 17 4
1647 Not hiring, I'll sue for discrimination. 1.2907 0.06159 86 66 15 5
1648 Good luck. 1.2907 0.05698 86 64 19 3
1649 Our previous assistant manager was lost in the maze. 1.2907 0.05698 86 64 19 3
1650 Yes, our funding agency is very big on diversity. 1.2903 0.05423 93 69 21 3
1651 Would like to join the revolution? 1.2903 0.05838 93 71 17 5
1652 I've been trying to get out of my shell and try something new 1.2903 0.05838 93 71 17 5
1653 So I'm looking to sublet until Sept 1 1.2903 0.05634 93 70 19 4
1654 Sorry, have been there, done that - am striving toward lethargy. 1.2903 0.05203 93 68 23 2
1655 Yes, here's where the hare is training... 1.2903 0.05838 93 71 17 5
1656 Just do what you did in the race against the hare....I'm sure it will be fine. 1.2900 0.05183 100 74 23 3
1657 Please invoke the law of centrifugal force! 1.2900 0.05738 100 77 17 6
1658 This is our cardio area, but there is a 30 minute limit. 1.2900 0.05559 100 76 19 5
1659 ‘all animals are equal, but some animals are more equal than others’ 1.2900 0.05559 100 76 19 5
1660 We're trying to convert to greener sources of energy. 1.2897 0.05145 107 80 23 4
1661 Yes we are an all inclusive treadwheel gym 1.2895 0.06439 76 58 14 4
1662 You'll have to come out of your shell. 1.2892 0.05563 83 61 20 2
1663 Yes, you can go as fast or as slow as you want. 1.2892 0.05821 83 62 18 3
1664 Your funeral, just sign the release. 1.2892 0.06306 83 64 14 5
1665 Where do you see yourself after 5 rounds? 1.2892 0.06755 83 66 10 7
1666 Ticket Please. 1.2892 0.06534 83 65 12 6
1667 I’m telling you. Humans call this ‘fun’. I don’t get it either. 1.2889 0.05751 90 68 18 4
1668 I think someone has given you really bad directions. 1.2889 0.05964 90 69 16 5
1669 'Why?' What do you mean, 'Why?'? 1.2889 0.05751 90 68 18 4
1670 Sorry, we don't have any turtle logs available at the moment. 1.2889 0.05751 90 68 18 4
1671 This rat race is full. Get back to the Senate, Mitch McConnell. 1.2889 0.06369 90 71 12 7
1672 In fact, you can take the Hare’s wheel. He hasn’t yet arrived. I suggest the Slow and Steady routine. 1.2889 0.06170 90 70 14 6
1673 Yes, you can go at your own pace. 1.2889 0.06170 90 70 14 6
1674 Look - we’re counting on you to introduce some method to this madness 1.2889 0.05964 90 69 16 5
1675 I’m sorry sir but that’s the rule, five minutes not five rotations. 1.2889 0.05964 90 69 16 5
1676 You may want to start with a beginner spin class. 1.2887 0.05475 97 73 20 4
1677 Sorry, but you're too late for the rat race. 1.2887 0.05855 97 75 16 6
1678 You're here to obstruct, not win or lose. Do you understand your assignment? 1.2887 0.05855 97 75 16 6
1679 Your epic win in the race with Hare really impressed us. We think you’re ready for the rat race. 1.2887 0.05475 97 73 20 4
1680 Not quite your speed, I’m afraid. 1.2885 0.05053 104 77 24 3
1681 Maybe spin class isn’t for you… 1.2883 0.05337 111 85 20 6
1682 You're the first one today to bring a helmet to the zero gravity training 1.2883 0.05020 111 83 24 4
1683 I'm seeking a job that will take me nowhere fast. 1.2875 0.06212 80 61 15 4
1684 An impressive resume, but 'slow and steady' doesn't align with our current market values 1.2874 0.06097 87 67 15 5
1685 Well we might not be Olympics material sir, but as you can see, we were born to go nowhere fast. 1.2874 0.05146 87 63 23 1
1686 Remember to keep your body in an upright, locked position. 1.2874 0.05874 87 66 17 4
1687 I'm too dizzy to read this, to be honest. 1.2874 0.05400 87 64 21 2
1688 You need a thick skin for this line of work. 1.2874 0.06097 87 67 15 5
1689 And you you thought your shell came in handy before! 1.2874 0.06097 87 67 15 5
1690 You may have beaten the hare, but you don't stand a chance in this rat race. 1.2874 0.05874 87 66 17 4
1691 We’re a judgment-free fitness facility. 1.2874 0.05874 87 66 17 4
1692 Are you sure you’re up for this? It’s a rat race over here. 1.2874 0.05642 87 65 19 3
1693 You’re far too intelligent for this line of work. 1.2874 0.05642 87 65 19 3
1694 I'm sorry, but it's a rat race. No turtle entries allowed. The slow and steady race is over there. 1.2874 0.06097 87 67 15 5
1695 Just so we’re clear, you’ll go nowhere a lot slower than these guys. 1.2872 0.05978 94 73 15 6
1696 It's a spin class. You want the flip over class. 1.2872 0.05583 94 71 19 4
1697 You might want to warm up on the recumbent bike first. 1.2872 0.05374 94 70 21 3
1698 Can't complain. It's better than being with the monkeys. 1.2872 0.05583 94 71 19 4
1699 I'm sorry. This gym requires proper attire. 1.2872 0.05784 94 72 17 5
1700 On the other hand, we'll probably never have to replace you. 1.2872 0.05583 94 71 19 4
1701 Like I told you, It’s not about the destination, it’s the journey. So are you in? 1.2872 0.05583 94 71 19 4
1702 But I'm not body shaming you. 1.2871 0.05328 101 76 21 4
1703 Plus an additional 'different species' charge. 1.2871 0.05328 101 76 21 4
1704 You can modify any of the exercises to your skill level 1.2871 0.05511 101 77 19 5
1705 Due to the Equal Opportunities Act, we now accept applications to the Rat Race from all species 1.2870 0.04904 115 86 25 4
1706 I’m much faster than I look! 1.2869 0.04866 122 92 25 5
1707 These guys are a hare better. 1.2857 0.06239 84 65 14 5
1708 I can offer you a partial refund on your membership. 1.2857 0.05230 98 73 22 3
1709 I can’t take you right now but we have slow spinning classes every Tuesday and Thursday at noon. 1.2857 0.05906 91 70 16 5
1710 It’s up to you, Dude. Just sign this flipping waiver. 1.2857 0.05802 98 76 16 6
1711 We think we've discovered why you always win the race. 1.2857 0.06239 84 65 14 5
1712 I think you're in the wrong cartoon! 1.2857 0.05981 98 77 14 7
1713 You IDENTIFY as a rat? 1.2857 0.06366 77 59 14 4
1714 You need to come out of your shell 1.2857 0.06239 84 65 14 5
1715 It's OK, we promise you'll get there just as fast as everybody else. 1.2857 0.05906 91 70 16 5
1716 You can check with the EEOC, but 30 rpm is a bona fide occupational requirement. 1.2857 0.06629 77 60 12 5
1717 Count me in, i’ve been trying to get out of my shell 1.2857 0.05807 70 51 18 1
1718 So, you really sure you want to join this rat race? 1.2857 0.04826 105 77 26 2
1719 As you can see,we offer aerobic fitness equipment for every body type,wherever you are in your journey towards becoming a more healthy you. 1.2857 0.06154 98 78 12 8
1720 The job requires nudity. 1.2857 0.06366 77 59 14 4
1721 Which part of ‘rat race’ did you not understand? 1.2857 0.05906 91 70 16 5
1722 No, the slowest doesn't win the race here. 1.2857 0.05230 98 73 22 3
1723 I just don't think this position is right for you. 1.2857 0.06895 84 68 8 8
1724 I thought this position was remote 1.2857 0.05761 84 63 18 3
1725 I am not sure you will be the right fit here. 1.2857 0.05427 98 74 20 4
1726 Do you swing both ways? 1.2857 0.05696 91 69 18 4
1727 Getting that far isn’t in our wheelhouse either. 1.2857 0.05295 112 86 20 6
1728 Sir! We will have to perform a dope test! Your last race with Mr. Hare has been called into question 1.2857 0.05477 91 68 20 3
1729 Oh come on, you'll be totally competitive. They tire quickly! 1.2844 0.05229 109 83 21 5
1730 Your resume seems to have exaggerated a bit. 1.2843 0.05283 102 77 21 4
1731 I'm sorry, but beating a hare in a foot race doesn't qualify you for the mouse wheel. 1.2843 0.05464 102 78 19 5
1732 It's OK. They were the first ones vaccinated. 1.2843 0.05808 102 80 15 7
1733 Am I too late for the spin class? 1.2842 0.05532 95 72 19 4
1734 'I'm warning you ... it's wheely difficult!' 1.2842 0.05325 95 71 21 3
1735 You look shell shocked. 1.2841 0.05816 88 67 17 4
1736 If you tuck your head, I’ll consider that a helmet. 1.2841 0.05348 88 65 21 2
1737 No no no, no. You’re not understanding. There’s no tangible product. That’s where the “non-fungible” comes in… 1.2841 0.06249 88 69 13 6
1738 We strive to be exactly an equal opportunity employer 1.2841 0.06036 88 68 15 5
1739 I think you’ll really come out of your shell when you meet the team 1.2841 0.06036 88 68 15 5
1740 The Doctor told me to move more…how do I start? 1.2840 0.05889 81 61 17 3
1741 Wrong day, man! You and the rabbit report at 7 am in the morning! Room 103, Track #1… 1.2840 0.06145 81 62 15 4
1742 I'm sorry, you don't qualify for the kilowatt-generating minimum. 1.2840 0.06145 81 62 15 4
1743 I know you won a critical race, but that theory ain't gonna help you here. 1.2840 0.05339 81 59 21 1
1744 You'll be expected to teach to each student's individual learning style both in person and virtually. 1.2840 0.06628 81 64 11 6
1745 Me at spinning class. 1.2840 0.05889 81 61 17 3
1746 I’m just not sure if you can keep up with the pace around here. 1.2840 0.06145 81 62 15 4
1747 It’s ok. You just ahead. We’re not going anywhere. 1.2833 0.05046 120 92 22 6
1748 Your reservation for 45 minutes on the wheel is about to expire. Sorry. Try to be on time if you sign up again. 1.2832 0.05687 113 90 14 9
1749 Think of it not as a race but as an existential challenge. 1.2828 0.05927 99 78 14 7
1750 You’re over qualified 1.2828 0.05568 99 76 18 5
1751 Can I set my own pace? 1.2826 0.04967 92 67 24 1
1752 Don't think of it as a race. 1.2826 0.05426 92 69 20 3
1753 It's the Olympics Freestyle trials, not an endurance event. So ... 1.2826 0.06245 92 73 12 7
1754 Crack that lightning and burn that sky. We are wheelbarrows of the air. We are forgotten Gods trying not to cry. 1.2826 0.05426 92 69 20 3
1755 We were expecting a rabbit 1.2826 0.06245 92 73 12 7
1756 After years of going nowhere fast, we've decided to try a different strategy. 1.2826 0.05426 92 69 20 3
1757 $7.25 an hour to start? 1.2826 0.05202 92 68 22 2
1758 Dreams are a dime a dozen kid. Now, do you think you got what it takes? 1.2824 0.05944 85 65 16 4
1759 And after one month on our exercise program, you too can loose that ugly shell! 1.2824 0.06175 85 66 14 5
1760 But I told you, I think outside the circle. 1.2824 0.05703 85 64 18 3
1761 I think I can. I think . . . 1.2824 0.06398 85 67 12 6
1762 I have two words for you, Centrifugal Force! 1.2824 0.06398 85 67 12 6
1763 So we’re trying to make something more energy efficient than an electric car…you’ll… you’ll be first gear. 1.2824 0.06398 85 67 12 6
1764 You just need to cover for me for an hour. 1.2824 0.05703 85 64 18 3
1765 I'm told you will be working from home? 1.2824 0.05189 85 62 22 1
1766 Thanks, but I don't think slow and steady can actually win this one. 1.2821 0.05741 78 58 18 2
1767 The Hare? No, he doesn’t work out here 1.2816 0.05590 103 80 17 6
1768 Don't worry about getting off to a slow start. The last one to finish wins the race. 1.2816 0.05590 103 80 17 6
1769 The rat race is anyone’s to win now. 1.2816 0.05758 103 81 15 7
1770 I know you usually train with hares, but most of our members are gym rats.” 1.2816 0.05758 103 81 15 7
1771 Crossfit isn't for everyone. 1.2812 0.06052 96 76 13 7
1772 Your resume is impressive, but I'm gonna need to see those track and field trophies. 1.2812 0.05678 96 74 17 5
1773 Winning is addictive, isn’t it?” 1.2812 0.05278 96 72 21 3
1774 I am NOT being speciesist, sir. But we DO have a dress code. 1.2812 0.05678 96 74 17 5
1775 Thank you for your application. We’ve decided to go with a faster candidate. 1.2809 0.05759 89 68 17 4
1776 Sorry, but slow and steady don't cut it on this circuit 1.2809 0.05533 89 67 19 3
1777 We don't think you'll qualify unless you remove your armor. 1.2809 0.05533 89 67 19 3
1778 It's a hybrid work-from-home approach. 1.2809 0.05759 89 68 17 4
1779 ...you keep at it, you'll be 'going nowhere fast.' 1.2809 0.05759 89 68 17 4
1780 Don’t worry, I’m a fast learner! 1.2809 0.06187 89 70 13 6
1781 look walter, it’s not called a rat race for nothing 1.2809 0.06390 89 71 11 7
1782 It's not the destination, it's the journey. 1.2809 0.06187 89 70 13 6
1783 Well, as much as we believe in inclusiveness; There is a reason why the ad specified this was a Rat race. 1.2805 0.06322 82 64 13 5
1784 Three blind mice. See how they run? 1.2805 0.06322 82 64 13 5
1785 That's what Achilles also said. 1.2805 0.06079 82 63 15 4
1786 It's ok - even if you're feeling a bit sluggish, now's a great time to come back to spin class! 1.2804 0.05108 107 81 22 4
1787 Yeah, they call it a rat race, but if you think of it as a hare race, you'll be a shoo-in to win.' 1.2800 0.06990 75 60 9 6
1788 Yes, the wheels go up to 40 mph, but that shouldn't concern you. 1.2800 0.05700 100 78 16 6
1789 Hey, Flash! Good to see ya! 1.2800 0.06728 75 59 11 5
1790 Trust me, I'm used to getting nowhere fast 1.2800 0.06454 75 58 13 4
1791 QUALIFIED? Hey, I once beat a RABBIT in a race! 1.2800 0.06208 100 81 10 9
1792 Look, we all heard the story about you and the hare, and truly we are not sure if we can believe it anymore. 1.2800 0.06454 75 58 13 4
1793 ...and this is how we roll 1.2800 0.06169 75 57 15 3
1794 We’re going to need to you step out of your shell. 1.2800 0.05869 75 56 17 2
1795 Yes, I've read 'The Tortoise and the Hare,' but it was merely an allegory, you know. 1.2796 0.05590 93 71 18 4
1796 ‘I hear you - welcome to late-stage capitalism in the USA’ 1.2796 0.06371 93 75 10 8
1797 I’m sorry but without an MBA I just don’t think you’re cut out for the rat race. 1.2796 0.05795 93 72 16 5
1798 I don't think diversity is the issue here. 1.2791 0.05883 86 66 16 4
1799 Think you can handle Spin class? Mitch, please. 1.2791 0.06111 86 67 14 5
1800 You want speed or accuracy? 1.2791 0.05646 86 65 18 3
1801 Look snowball,I got no idea who got the experimental drug and who got the placebo. 1.2791 0.05883 86 66 16 4
1802 I'm sorry, you have to sign a waiver to use this ride. 1.2785 0.05958 79 60 16 3
1803 Do you need to warm up? 1.2785 0.06224 79 61 14 4
1804 You'll be our speed control group. Trust me; what could go wrong? 1.2785 0.05679 79 59 18 2
1805 ...and I wanted to be the lead tenor in Rigoletto but it's just not happening. 1.2785 0.05679 79 59 18 2
1806 Sorry, No, we didn't find your cell phone under the wheels. 1.2785 0.05958 79 60 16 3
1807 Sorry, old chap, you are in the wrong fable. 1.2785 0.06480 79 62 12 5
1808 That's not how I roll! 1.2785 0.05958 79 60 16 3
1809 I need to see proof of your Covid 19 vaccination.' 1.2785 0.06224 79 61 14 4
1810 We're going around in circles here. 1.2785 0.05958 79 60 16 3
1811 We don't suggest drugs. You either got it or you don't!! 1.2785 0.06224 79 61 14 4
1812 And your skill level is …? 1.2785 0.06224 79 61 14 4
1813 Oh hello Mr.Turtle, you definitely reinvented the wheel here, the mice are loving it! 1.2785 0.05958 79 60 16 3
1814 I would shake your hand, but I’m a turtle. 1.2785 0.06224 79 61 14 4
1815 Would you like to take it for a spin? 1.2784 0.05815 97 76 15 6
1816 You shell overcome! 1.2784 0.05433 97 74 19 4
1817 We did send out a notice that we are no longer ‘turtles-only’ 1.2784 0.05022 97 72 23 2
1818 But, what happened to the hare? 1.2784 0.05627 97 75 17 5
1819 Sorry. This week, the yoga class moved down the hall to Room 6 1.2784 0.05627 97 75 17 5
1820 No hardtops allowed, unfortunately 1.2784 0.05627 97 75 17 5
1821 You shouldn’t have used a pre-pandemic photo in your resume. 1.2784 0.05627 97 75 17 5
1822 We're just not sure our equipment can accommodate someone of your... size. 1.2784 0.05231 97 73 21 3
1823 It is technically a spin class, but we recommend the low setting for beginners. 1.2784 0.05231 97 73 21 3
1824 We've heard you did good things against the hare. 1.2783 0.05319 115 90 18 7
1825 Maybe you should find another summer job. 1.2778 0.05235 108 83 20 5
1826 OK. You're late to work. We expected that of you. 1.2778 0.05398 108 84 18 6
1827 So, are you up for being a one man control group? 1.2778 0.05918 90 70 15 5
1828 The hare trainers are in Aisle 3. 1.2778 0.05703 90 69 17 4
1829 Remember to keep you arms and legs inside at all times until you reach a complete stop. 1.2778 0.05703 90 69 17 4
1830 Just take it easy - note so fast. 1.2778 0.05703 90 69 17 4
1831 You are welcome to workout, but you must leave your domicile in the locker room." 1.2778 0.05480 90 68 19 3
1832 Thanks for coming in. We’ve had high turnover lately. 1.2778 0.05247 90 67 21 2
1833 Sorry for the misunderstanding, in our job post we meant that we were looking for a ‘quick and agile learner’ in the literal sense. 1.2778 0.05918 90 70 15 5
1834 «We are very impressed with your CV but don’t think you are a good ‘culture fit’ at this time» 1.2778 0.06326 90 72 11 7
1835 Sorry, my friend. This competition is for weed-powered athletes only. 1.2772 0.05288 101 77 20 4
1836 Come back when we have a slowdown. 1.2771 0.06015 83 64 15 4
1837 Yes, yes, I've read your story, but these guys are much more focused than hares. 1.2771 0.05505 83 62 19 2
1838 We’re all for diversity but can you keep up? 1.2771 0.05766 83 63 17 3
1839 Everyone who works here has had a unique journey but they are all part of the same rat-race. 1.2771 0.05505 83 62 19 2
1840 I can get you a great deal on a lifetime membership. 1.2771 0.05766 83 63 17 3
1841 No worries…we keep an ambulance on standby. 1.2771 0.06255 83 65 13 5
1842 You just missed the cut off by a hare” @drewdernavic 1.2771 0.06485 83 66 11 6
1843 Three blind mice and now a tortoise? I’m done. 1.2771 0.06255 83 65 13 5
1844 And what makes you think you’re qualified for the rat race? 1.2766 0.05538 94 72 18 4
1845 Are you entered in the competition? No, I missed the deadline. 1.2763 0.05803 76 57 17 2
1846 I think you will find the treadmill more to your liking. 1.2763 0.05803 76 57 17 2
1847 No one wants to do any work in this economy. 1.2763 0.06379 76 59 13 4
1848 Yes, that’s how they roll, but you be you, boo! 1.2763 0.05803 76 57 17 2
1849 But I have four legs. 1.2759 0.05089 87 64 22 1
1850 And I've been around the block a few times." 1.2759 0.05824 87 67 16 4
1851 I'm on to you. This is a shell game. 1.2759 0.05824 87 67 16 4
1852 Things are slow right now so we could probably fit you in 1.2759 0.04820 87 63 24 0
1853 So you're working from home? 1.2759 0.06049 87 68 14 5
1854 Humm…I’m not so sure anymore if I want to work for you guys 1.2759 0.05345 87 65 20 2
1855 I see you’ve mastered “slow and steady” but we’re really looking for someone who will engage in the rat race.” 1.2759 0.06266 87 69 12 6
1856 Now it says here on your resume that you were state champion in the 100m dash? 1.2759 0.05824 87 67 16 4
1857 Unlimited classes are included with your membership but towel service is extra. 1.2755 0.05577 98 76 17 5
1858 Affirmative action hire? Why would you ask that? 1.2755 0.05762 98 77 15 6
1859 Do you suffer from any anxieties? I only ask since you'll need to come out of your shell. 1.2754 0.06491 69 53 13 3
1860 Yeah, you can hop on, but you gotta sign this release 1.2754 0.06811 69 54 11 4
1861 You've got to sign this waiver before I can let you on. 1.2754 0.07117 69 55 9 5
1862 Oh, I’m sorry! You want Office of the Aging next door. This is the Board of Elections. 1.2754 0.07693 69 57 5 7
1863 Now you know why you shouldn’t lie in your resume 1.2754 0.06154 69 52 15 2
1864 Alright, welcome aboard. Got one piece of advice: If a guy in a white lab coat offers you fentanyl, take it. They keep it coming, and it's free. No one knows why. You just gotta keep pressing the button. Trust me: It'll all make sense soon, brother. 1.2750 0.06650 80 64 10 6
1865 It's about fitting, not fitness. 1.2750 0.05618 80 60 18 2
1866 Trust me, it’ll help you come out of your shell. 1.2750 0.06408 80 63 12 5
1867 You can identify as a mouse, but to participate you must lose the shell. 1.2750 0.06408 80 63 12 5
1868 We can offer you a hybrid work from home approach 1.2750 0.05893 80 61 16 3
1869 We needed a low gear 1.2747 0.05649 91 70 17 4
1870 I realize you'll outlive all of us, but you can't be serious. 1.2747 0.05861 91 71 15 5
1871 You could win on style points. 1.2747 0.05649 91 70 17 4
1872 Sorry, but I don’t see a Shell Silverstein on the contestant list. 1.2747 0.05428 91 69 19 3
1873 Where will I be going? 1.2745 0.05771 102 81 14 7
1874 It’s great training for a race. 1.2745 0.05242 102 78 20 4
1875 You don't look like your resume! 1.2740 0.06830 73 58 10 5
1876 Here at our gym, our focus is to get you out of your shell 1.2740 0.06546 73 57 12 4
1877 You'll need to sign a waiver. 1.2738 0.05952 84 65 15 4
1878 Take it easy at first. 1.2738 0.05706 84 64 17 3
1879 'Rat race' is such a pejorative." 1.2738 0.06416 84 67 11 6
1880 I'll keep your resume on file in case something opens up. 1.2738 0.05706 84 64 17 3
1881 Yea, yea… “Slow and steady wins the race.” Move along mister funny guy. 1.2738 0.05706 84 64 17 3
1882 I'm sorry, we have no room, but I hear the Hare Institute is looking for volunteers in a speed test. 1.2738 0.05706 84 64 17 3
1883 I tried that, but it got me nowhere. What's your Plan B? 1.2738 0.05449 84 63 19 2
1884 Welcome to the team,Todd! Now, let’s get you up to speed. 1.2738 0.05952 84 65 15 4
1885 You'll need a hard shell to run this rat race 1.2738 0.05952 84 65 15 4
1886 You're just not what we're looking for 1.2738 0.05706 84 64 17 3
1887 Remember, it's about the journey. 1.2737 0.05279 95 72 20 3
1888 „I‘m interested - tell me why you‘re the best fit for our job vacancy.“ 1.2736 0.05451 106 83 17 6
1889 Slow and steady, huh? Alright, show me what ya got. 1.2736 0.05613 106 84 15 7
1890 You'll have to shell out to qualify. 1.2734 0.04535 128 97 27 4
1891 I am slow and steady but will generate the power for you 1.2727 0.06306 77 60 13 4
1892 Right to left & counterclockwise - Trump. Guiliani. Barr. Pompeo. 1.2727 0.06572 77 61 11 5
1893 When my Doc said take a stress test, I assumed the treadmill would have a video screen. 1.2727 0.06203 88 70 12 6
1894 I'm sorry, but this isn't your Wheelhouse. 1.2727 0.05988 88 69 14 5
1895 Some of us just aren't cut out for the corporate rat race. 1.2727 0.05466 110 87 16 7
1896 Ready to disrupt an industry? 1.2727 0.06203 88 70 12 6
1897 They go round and round. We”re captive on the carousel of time. 1.2727 0.05766 88 68 16 4
1898 We’re more of a ‘fail fast, fail always’ culture 1.2727 0.05988 88 69 14 5
1899 I'm sorry. Your past racing experience is irelevant. 1.2727 0.06306 77 60 13 4
1900 The race is sponsored by Schrödinger. You can say you won and nobody can prove you didn’t. 1.2727 0.06203 88 70 12 6
1901 Sorry, but I won’t be able to fit you in. 1.2727 0.05535 88 67 18 3
1902 You can leave your luggage in one of our secure lockers. 1.2727 0.05294 88 66 20 2
1903 Sometimes you gotta leave your house. 1.2727 0.04936 99 74 23 2
1904 Ah Leonardo, welcome to your final test. 1.2727 0.07337 66 53 8 5
1905 After reviewing your application, we've decided that we will be moving forward with other candidates for this particular role. 1.2727 0.05535 88 67 18 3
1906 Don’t worry, what’s most important in this race is having thick skin. 1.2727 0.06029 77 59 15 3
1907 Just make sure you clock in and you get a half hour lettuce break in four hours 1.2727 0.06029 77 59 15 3
1908 We don't think your a good fit for our Rotary club. 1.2727 0.06203 88 70 12 6
1909 I'm sorry this is the rat race, the rabbit race was yesterday. 1.2718 0.05378 103 80 18 5
1910 We'll let you on, but only if you sign this waiver that absolves us of the responsibility to flip you back over. 1.2717 0.06007 92 73 13 6
1911 Just try to beat your personal best! 1.2717 0.05595 92 71 17 4
1912 There’s a thirty minute limit for all equipment. 1.2717 0.04913 92 68 23 1
1913 I’m not really sure this is in your wheelhouse. 1.2717 0.06007 92 73 13 6
1914 Thanks for applying..so tell me, why did you leave your last hamster wheel? 1.2717 0.05595 92 71 17 4
1915 So are you looking to bulk up or get lean? 1.2717 0.05804 92 72 15 5
1916 This spin class will make you come out of your shell. 1.2716 0.06089 81 63 14 4
1917 Shell out 5 bucks and you can take a twirl. 1.2716 0.05274 81 60 20 1
1918 I'm telling you Fred, this how the rabbit started. Just sign this life insurance and we can start your training. 1.2716 0.06089 81 63 14 4
1919 Now I personally don't like the term 'diversity hire'... 1.2716 0.06089 81 63 14 4
1920 Can you fill in for me? 1.2716 0.06807 81 66 8 7
1921 HARES ARE SO 2020! 1.2716 0.06089 81 63 14 4
1922 You must be the repair guy. The wheel just stopped working. Can you get it up in running in...15mins? Our next guest will be here in 20. 1.2716 0.05559 81 61 18 2
1923 I can’t believe you didn’t buy a Peloton during the pandemic 1.2716 0.06337 81 64 12 5
1924 So, we’re going to need you to work overtime again..... 1.2716 0.05274 81 60 20 1
1925 Nice costume, Mickey Mouse! Welcome to Burning Man. 1.2714 0.06410 70 54 13 3
1926 Bud, I gotta tell ya. If you wanna build confidence, you gotta come out of your shell. 1.2714 0.07026 70 56 9 5
1927 „I’ll give you my spot for 50$.“ 1.2714 0.06410 70 54 13 3
1928 I don't care if they call you Speedy 1.2710 0.05405 107 84 17 6
1929 Do you realize you're living in New York now ? 1.2708 0.06012 96 77 12 7
1930 You need work on your dismount. 1.2708 0.05231 96 73 20 3
1931 Look...you're really great, but our research tells us that humans just won't laugh hard enough at a turtle on an exercise wheel. 1.2706 0.05891 85 66 15 4
1932 Just five minutes. And no hotdogging. 1.2706 0.05891 85 66 15 4
1933 Good timing; the hare just finished. 1.2706 0.05891 85 66 15 4
1934 Think of it as a hare racing experience. 1.2706 0.05648 85 65 17 3
1935 In our quest for fitness, sir, we all must start somewhere, and in your case perhaps somewhere else. 1.2706 0.05891 85 66 15 4
1936 as part of our new diversity policy, we aim at hiring employees who will create a slow-pace environment 1.2706 0.06124 85 67 13 5
1937 I can recommend a gym with standard treadmills 1.2706 0.05648 85 65 17 3
1938 we're hoping you'll do as well with us as you did with the hare 1.2703 0.05867 74 56 16 2
1939 Your resume is great, but I don't think you'd fit well in our culture 1.2703 0.06174 74 57 14 3
1940 I'm sorry but I don't consider you rat adjacent. 1.2703 0.06467 74 58 12 4
1941 Welcome to spin class. Have you ridden with us before? 1.2703 0.05867 74 56 16 2
1942 I don’t think wheelhouse is really in your wheelhouse. 1.2703 0.04605 111 83 26 2
1943 I’ll see what we can do about getting a standing desk for your station. 1.2703 0.06174 74 57 14 3
1944 What do you mean, you "can be very competitive"? 1.2700 0.05096 100 76 21 3
1945 I just take it one step at a time. 1.2700 0.05291 100 77 19 4
1946 Ok, one just opened up, but there's a 30-minute limit when people are waiting. 1.2700 0.05478 100 78 17 5
1947 When did it get so political? 1.2700 0.05660 100 79 15 6
1948 This is only for rat race prep 1.2697 0.05929 89 70 14 5
1949 I'm here for the Cirque du Soleil auditions 1.2697 0.06345 89 72 10 7
1950 I'm in it for the long run. 1.2697 0.05929 89 70 14 5
1951 We have beginner's courses Tuesday's and Friday's. 1.2697 0.05243 89 67 20 2
1952 I know you have experience as a bingo caller, but this job is a bit more interactive. 1.2697 0.06345 89 72 10 7
1953 Sorry! Only rats and humans allowed to train for the rat race. 1.2697 0.05481 89 68 18 3
1954 You’ll be fine, just don’t land on your back. 1.2692 0.07224 78 65 5 8
1955 Tell me a little about yourself. 1.2692 0.05155 104 80 20 4
1956 It’s just the soft bigotry of low expectations 1.2692 0.05676 78 59 17 2
1957 Your work-life balance is really important to us. 1.2692 0.05962 78 60 15 3
1958 So you have a degree in Racewalking? 1.2692 0.05676 78 59 17 2
1959 You’re in the wrong race - this is the rat race 1.2692 0.06235 78 61 13 4
1960 I'm not afraid of challenges, I have a very thick skin 1.2692 0.06235 78 61 13 4
1961 - But it literally took me years to WALK here... - Sorry, the job description specifically asked for a double degree, a PhD, 2 summer internships and no social life 1.2692 0.06748 78 63 9 6
1962 I mean, you’re welcome to try… 1.2692 0.06235 78 61 13 4
1963 The Board Approval process is quite rigorous 1.2692 0.04970 104 79 22 3
1964 Not so fast.You have to be this less wide. 1.2688 0.05327 93 71 19 3
1965 Do it because they said you couldn’t. 1.2688 0.05327 93 71 19 3
1966 But you don't need to worry, your back will be protected 1.2688 0.05749 93 73 15 5
1967 I have a hard time believing you ran the wheels in Albuquerque. 1.2688 0.05542 93 72 17 4
1968 How long have you worked with Shell? 1.2687 0.06918 67 53 10 4
1969 Sorry, new regulation. No exo-skeletons in the wheels. 1.2687 0.05856 67 50 16 1
1970 Remember, it's a marathon, not a sprint. 1.2687 0.06583 67 52 12 3
1971 Do you have IT experience? 1.2683 0.05501 82 62 18 2
1972 Stop repeating 'slow and steady wins the race.' Think outside the box. 1.2683 0.06504 82 66 10 6
1973 Sorry, too late...your spin class was last Thursday. 1.2683 0.06023 82 64 14 4
1974 Honestly, you're a really good candidate for this position. It's just that your tail is too short. 1.2683 0.06023 82 64 14 4
1975 Isn't this counterintuitive to your goals of being slow and steady? 1.2683 0.05768 82 63 16 3
1976 Cheese aside, you might find more interest in the other benefits of our compensation package 1.2683 0.06023 82 64 14 4
1977 All I can tell you is it’s not age discrimination. 1.2680 0.05185 97 74 20 3
1978 You’re a little late for your sign in. 1.2676 0.05659 71 53 17 1
1979 So, you thrive in fast-paced environments, right? 1.2676 0.06004 71 54 15 2
1980 Our Congressmen busy at work! 1.2676 0.06937 71 57 9 5
1981 ‘There’s only the fast lane left sorry, sorry’ 1.2676 0.06937 71 57 9 5
1982 I got you working on #3. That shell may come in handy. Good luck. 1.2674 0.05341 86 65 19 2
1983 We decided to go in a different direction. 1.2674 0.05341 86 65 19 2
1984 Welcome to 2021! We’re back together and it’s going really well 1.2674 0.05078 86 64 21 1
1985 It’s not as hard as it looks, you start at your pace and before you know it, you’re tumbling out of control not knowing how to get out 1.2674 0.06282 86 69 11 6
1986 I assume you’ll request to work from home? 1.2674 0.06060 86 68 13 5
1987 The turtle spin class is down the hall in studio C. This is rats only. 1.2674 0.05591 86 66 17 3
1988 We pride ourselves on being inclusive. However, this is a rat race. 1.2673 0.05610 101 80 15 6
1989 Great! You brought you own safety gear. 1.2667 0.05653 90 70 16 4
1990 I’ll come back to see how you’re doing. How is next Saturday? 1.2667 0.05653 90 70 16 4
1991 We need a baseline. 1.2667 0.05193 90 68 20 2
1992 *Everyone knows you're just filling in for me, so no pressure, k?" 1.2667 0.06667 75 60 10 5
1993 "Feel free to join us, but you'll be a fifth wheel. 1.2667 0.05193 90 68 20 2
1994 Your revolution rate is low, you’re late to practice—it’s almost like you don’t want to make the Olympic team! 1.2667 0.05799 75 57 16 2
1995 The good news is, I can let you in. The bad news is, you will have to drink 132 cups of coffee first. 1.2667 0.05870 90 71 14 5
1996 Sorry, but we charge by time, not number of revolutions 1.2667 0.05428 90 69 18 3
1997 Promise you're not going to flip on us. 1.2667 0.06102 75 58 14 3
1998 We welcome all body types and skill levels but we do ask that you wipe down the wheels when you're finished. 1.2667 0.06102 75 58 14 3
1999 This is rat race sir, shell game department is 3rd floor 1.2667 0.06102 75 58 14 3
2000 As you can see, everybody is working. Just don’t fall on your back 1.2667 0.05870 90 71 14 5
2001 It has nothing to do with your age, Paula. We’re letting you go because you’re constantly late for rehearsals. 1.2667 0.06932 75 61 8 6
2002 We’re also still sanitizing machines after each use. 1.2660 0.05892 94 75 13 6
2003 The hare wants a rematch and I need to get in shape 1.2660 0.05056 94 71 21 2
2004 Really? What happened to slow and steady wins the race? 1.2660 0.05695 94 74 15 5
2005 Actually, I have been looking for someone with a lower center of gravity. 1.2658 0.06165 79 62 13 4
2006 I can help you to increase your speed if you ever get here on time. 1.2658 0.05896 79 61 15 3
2007 It's not discrimination. It's physics. 1.2658 0.05614 79 60 17 2
2008 Okay, do the best you can. 1.2658 0.05896 79 61 15 3
2009 You don't fit the profile. 1.2658 0.05614 79 60 17 2
2010 No, I'm sorry but even if you really were a Mutant Ninja Turtle, I still don't think it would work out. 1.2658 0.05317 79 59 19 1
2011 makes no difference if everyone thinks you're a rat. 1.2658 0.06165 79 62 13 4
2012 Membership is $50 per month or $500 for the year and that includes a discount at the juice bar. 1.2658 0.06165 79 62 13 4
2013 I just fear you're only gonna end up spinning your wheels here... 1.2658 0.05896 79 61 15 3
2014 I see you meet the race speed requirements but in order to succeed in this role, you’ll have to shed everything that makes you unique starting with that…interesting…outwear thing you have on 1.2658 0.05896 79 61 15 3
2015 We’re really impressed by your history of winning races, but what would you say you bring to this one in particular? 1.2658 0.05896 79 61 15 3
2016 You're already running and going nowhere. 1.2653 0.05533 98 77 16 5
2017 My suggestion, keep your eyes on the horizon. 1.2653 0.05340 98 76 18 4
2018 Let me offer you a straight track. It would take you about a day to go around these once. 1.2653 0.05901 98 79 12 7
2019 Helmets not allowed! 1.2653 0.05533 98 77 16 5
2020 Slow and steady will land you on your back. 1.2653 0.05720 98 78 14 6
2021 Sir, Archimedes aint spin no more! 1.2651 0.05444 83 63 18 2
2022 It’s just that no one has requested a “slow-and-steady” training regimen before. 1.2651 0.06658 83 68 8 7
2023 Go ask Skinner, I don’t have the authority to let you run there. 1.2651 0.06201 83 66 12 5
2024 Work hours are 8-4, these guys will get you up to speed. 1.2651 0.06201 83 66 12 5
2025 At this point we’re accepting any applicant for a 4th position that isn’t visually impaired. 1.2651 0.05959 83 65 14 4
2026 They were a little cooped up during the pandemic, so they’ve been getting a bit ahead of themselves. We need someone more your speed. 1.2651 0.05959 83 65 14 4
2027 We don't offer workouts from home. You'll have to shell out. 1.2650 0.05206 117 93 17 7
2028 It says here you have no previous experience with a treadmill… and that you’re a turtle. 1.2647 0.06827 68 54 10 4
2029 It's much more fun than crossing the road! 1.2647 0.06498 68 53 12 3
2030 Sir, you're already getting nowhere without a wheel. 1.2647 0.06827 68 54 10 4
2031 I’m sorry sir, but you’re not tall enough for this ride. 1.2644 0.05771 87 68 15 4
2032 Let me worry about that. Just help me into the cage. 1.2644 0.05998 87 69 13 5
2033 By the way...that "slow and steady" comment from your last employer. A joke, right? 1.2644 0.05535 87 67 17 3
2034 I think we better put you in the control group. 1.2644 0.05029 87 65 21 1
2035 But remember how well you did in the maze. 1.2644 0.05771 87 68 15 4
2036 As a member of the control group, your time will be used as a benchmark against our trial participants. 1.2642 0.05069 106 82 20 4
2037 You have to be this warm blooded to go on the ride. 1.2639 0.06253 72 56 13 3
2038 You need to be up to speed on requirements for this job. 1.2639 0.06253 72 56 13 3
2039 I know we got your application but you were a bit slow in responding 1.2639 0.06558 72 57 11 4
2040 Wait, you're telling me we're in a pet store ? 1.2639 0.06253 72 56 13 3
2041 I’m so sorry, previous winners cannot enter this contest. 1.2637 0.06019 91 73 12 6
2042 Discrimination? No. I just think you might be more comfortable at a different gym. 1.2637 0.05144 91 69 20 2
2043 Sorry, but we call it a rat race for a reason. . 1.2637 0.05599 91 71 16 4
2044 Sorry, we don't do 'slow and steady' here. 1.2637 0.05144 91 69 20 2
2045 Don't worry, you set your own pace 1.2637 0.05599 91 71 16 4
2046 Look, you'll just end up on your back and I'll have to clean up the mess. 1.2637 0.05599 91 71 16 4
2047 We'll have you looking like these guys in no time, and right now memberships are 20% off. 1.2637 0.06019 91 73 12 6
2048 Hey buddy, I don’t make the rules. Shell or no shell, no one rides without a waiver. 1.2632 0.05837 95 76 13 6
2049 This might not be your cup of tea. 1.2632 0.04782 95 71 23 1
2050 I guess I don’t need to tell you to Take It Slow! for the first week. 1.2632 0.05439 95 74 17 4
2051 You're a little late,the Hare showed up hours ago 1.2632 0.05439 95 74 17 4
2052 Yeah, yeah, I heard about the hare. We still don't have enough room for you. 1.2632 0.05229 95 73 19 3
2053 « Of course we are an equal opportunity employer. And yes, we have a comprehensive health insurance package that includes shell breakage. « 1.2632 0.06588 76 61 10 5
2054 You might fit in better if you came out of your shell. 1.2632 0.06316 76 60 12 4
2055 Honestly, we're going to be closed by the time you make it up there. 1.2632 0.06032 76 59 14 3
2056 OK, but you know how you are on your back" 1.2632 0.06588 76 61 10 5
2057 I’m glad you came ! Audition still open, we are currently looking for diversity. 1.2632 0.05733 76 58 16 2
2058 It just goes to oblivion, that's it. 1.2632 0.06588 76 61 10 5
2059 I don’t think you’re ready to join this rat race. 1.2626 0.05483 99 78 16 5
2060 I'll need to see your vaccine card! 1.2626 0.05668 99 79 14 6
2061 You must sign the waiver first. 1.2626 0.05292 99 77 18 4
2062 Sorry, we're fully booked. 1.2626 0.05483 99 78 16 5
2063 The culture is great here 1.2626 0.05094 99 76 20 3
2064 We need a Vanna White to manage the wheels 1.2625 0.06595 80 65 9 6
2065 Sure it might mean less injuries, but who's gonna flip you back over? 1.2625 0.05553 80 61 17 2
2066 I’m sorry you’re cold blooded, but the AC stays on. 1.2625 0.05553 80 61 17 2
2067 Look, I'll be honest....this may not be the best gym for you. 1.2625 0.06096 80 63 13 4
2068 I know the ad says we're an equal opportunity employer, but... 1.2625 0.05260 80 60 19 1
2069 Listen,Dude,you have to realize that this here ain’t no shell game. 1.2625 0.06096 80 63 13 4
2070 How do you handle cocaine? 1.2625 0.06350 80 64 11 5
2071 We don’t believe in Critical Species Theory. 1.2625 0.05831 80 62 15 3
2072 Yes, we're committed to diversity, but I was very clear with the temp agency. 1.2621 0.04967 103 79 21 3
2073 Any medical condition ? 1.2621 0.05337 103 81 17 5
2074 I understand that you beat the hare once, but the employment gap is too significant to ignore 1.2621 0.05337 103 81 17 5
2075 Critical Race Theory is prohibited here 1.2619 0.05388 84 64 18 2
2076 We pride ourselves on providing an ADA compliant workplace. 1.2619 0.05388 84 64 18 2
2077 We can't let just anyone join the rat race 1.2619 0.05648 84 65 16 3
2078 Your lack of speed may be an advantage." 1.2619 0.06135 84 67 12 5
2079 No,you don’t need a mask 1.2619 0.05648 84 65 16 3
2080 Well, yes, but we're only open for eight more hours 1.2619 0.05648 84 65 16 3
2081 Strap yourself in, dude - it’s going to be a bumpy ride 1.2619 0.06135 84 67 12 5
2082 I am here for the low-intensity workout. 1.2619 0.05896 84 66 14 4
2083 You'd be fine as long as you're not in a rush to get anywhere. 1.2619 0.05388 84 64 18 2
2084 Ok here's the thing. Dont worry about your speed. Whenever you're done, I'll pay you. 1.2615 0.06308 65 50 13 2
2085 How about you give me the pen and clipboard and you get in the cage? 1.2615 0.07029 65 52 9 4
2086 As you can see, we do have a high turn-over rate 1.2615 0.07029 65 52 9 4
2087 Sorry, you need to run fast to go nowhere" 1.2614 0.05937 88 70 13 5
2088 It's not that I don't appreciate the work, it just seems like I can't get anywhere here. 1.2614 0.05480 88 68 17 3
2089 Ok hotshot you beat one hare, but can you run eight hours a day, five days a week for minimum wage? 1.2614 0.05480 88 68 17 3
2090 Yes, you can work from home on Sunday. 1.2614 0.05713 88 69 15 4
2091 I’m not bodyshaming you, I’m just explaining that every workout must be personalised. 1.2609 0.04856 92 69 22 1
2092 It said on your resume that you beat a hare? 1.2609 0.05756 92 73 14 5
2093 Hurry it up. You’re late! 1.2609 0.05711 69 52 16 1
2094 Sure this club is right for you. Everyone else here started out as turtles, see for yourself the transformation. Only $125 a month and you'll become an agile rat. 1.2609 0.06073 69 53 14 2
2095 One day they'll look in the mirror and realize it didn't matter. 1.2609 0.05756 92 73 14 5
2096 Are you sure?? 1.2609 0.05756 92 73 14 5
2097 We get all kinds after New Years. 1.2609 0.05096 92 70 20 2
2098 The data appear to support your hypothesis. "Slow and steady" might in fact win the race! 1.2609 0.05325 92 71 18 3
2099 Sounds risky. I think you'd be sticking your neck out to try it. 1.2609 0.05756 92 73 14 5
2100 Just give it a try. You can’t possibly be worse than Jerry. Look at him. He’s upside down. 1.2609 0.05545 92 72 16 4
2101 John, you sent the wrong one again! 1.2609 0.05325 92 71 18 3
2102 Will this help me to cross the street ? 1.2604 0.05389 96 75 17 4
2103 I'm sorry. If you can't spin the rat wheel, I'll have to give you a provisional ballot. 1.2604 0.05182 96 74 19 3
2104 It's $35 for a day pass or $125 for the all access monthly membership. 1.2604 0.05389 96 75 17 4
2105 No, not without a vaccin pass 1.2603 0.05527 73 55 17 1
2106 Faced with a lack of qualified candidates,the branch manager resorted to interviewing non-traditional candidates. 1.2603 0.05861 73 56 15 2
2107 Abusive work environments change who you are 1.2603 0.05861 73 56 15 2
2108 Just sign this waiver…. 1.2603 0.05861 73 56 15 2
2109 You can’t be serious. 1.2600 0.05435 100 79 16 5
2110 You can set your own speed. 1.2600 0.05049 100 77 20 3
2111 You really think you have thick enough skin to handle this? 1.2597 0.06511 77 62 10 5
2112 Yes,'slow and steady' are words to live by, but this is Iron Mouse. 1.2597 0.05030 77 57 20 0
2113 Sorry, the handicap race is tomorrow. 1.2597 0.06511 77 62 10 5
2114 For how long have you felt that you are a hamster trapped in the body of a turtle? 1.2597 0.05669 77 59 16 2
2115 Sorry, the company's gym doesn't have a pond. 1.2597 0.05669 77 59 16 2
2116 Sorry, dude. That was last week. 1.2593 0.05768 81 63 15 3
2117 Your resume says you outran a Hare? 1.2593 0.05768 81 63 15 3
2118 Why can't I? 1.2593 0.05493 81 62 17 2
2119 Name? Oh, good. You're wearing protective gear! 1.2593 0.06029 81 64 13 4
2120 Where’s your vaccination card? 1.2593 0.06280 81 65 11 5
2121 So, where do you see yourself in ten years? 1.2593 0.05768 81 63 15 3
2122 We want to know if it's a wheel problem or a mouse problem. 1.2588 0.05589 85 66 16 3
2123 After you! 1.2588 0.05333 85 65 18 2
2124 Because they have all been vaccinated and YOU haven't. thats why. 1.2588 0.05835 85 67 14 4
2125 I'm sorry, but our affirmative action program ended last week. 1.2588 0.06070 85 68 12 5
2126 Helioranthepuss? 1.2588 0.05333 85 65 18 2
2127 Is this spin class? 1.2588 0.05589 85 66 16 3
2128 Sorry, we don’t believe in being slow OR steady 1.2588 0.05333 85 65 18 2
2129 Before I begin your performance review - are you familiar with the band, Blood, Sweat & Tears? 1.2588 0.06070 85 68 12 5
2130 Welcome to the Stanford hamster wheel experiment. Your role will be CrossFit instructor. 1.2588 0.05589 85 66 16 3
2131 I need to work out for my rematch with the hare. 1.2588 0.06296 85 69 10 6
2132 This is a pretty fast-paced work environment. 1.2588 0.05835 85 67 14 4
2133 We won’t fast track you 1.2588 0.05835 85 67 14 4
2134 The posting said you were an equal opportunity employer. 1.2588 0.06296 85 69 10 6
2135 i dont think proficiency in excel will help you here 1.2588 0.05589 85 66 16 3
2136 Let’s talk pricing 1.2584 0.05878 89 71 13 5
2137 Look, we're an inclusive employer, so it's not because you're a turtle. We just don't think you are a good fit for our culture. 1.2584 0.05185 89 68 19 2
2138 I'll need proof of vaccination first, my friend. 1.2584 0.05656 89 70 15 4
2139 I don't think ADA applies here. 1.2584 0.05656 89 70 15 4
2140 I’m sorry sir, slow and steady isn’t going to win this time. 1.2584 0.05426 89 69 17 3
2141 As mentioned, we’re transitioning to a hybrid model. 1.2584 0.05878 89 71 13 5
2142 I’m sorry, but we’ve yet to make our gym accessible to all species 1.2584 0.05656 89 70 15 4
2143 Whatdya mean 'at least you're going somewhere?' 1.2581 0.05701 93 74 14 5
2144 Can you work from home? 1.2581 0.05275 93 72 18 3
2145 Sorry we didn't mean to rat you out. 1.2581 0.05048 93 71 20 2
2146 Have you tried jogging? 1.2581 0.05902 93 75 12 6
2147 No offense, but we are trying to produce energy as fast as possible. 1.2581 0.05275 93 72 18 3
2148 You’re in the wrong department 1.2577 0.04922 97 74 21 2
2149 Sorry dude, you gotta be double vaccinated. 1.2577 0.05340 97 76 17 4
2150 When is the cheese break? 1.2577 0.05538 97 77 15 5
2151 Just flip over on your back and play dead. I’ll try to get you out of this. 1.2577 0.05728 97 78 13 6
2152 If you want it, the job is yours for life. 1.2576 0.05838 66 50 15 1
2153 You're late. I had to let Wheel #1 go, but I can squeeze you in on Wheel #3. 1.2574 0.05006 101 78 20 3
2154 …of course we value you for your work ethic and not simply bc you carry the meaning of ‘diversity in the workplace’ on your back. 1.2571 0.05418 105 84 15 6
2155 This is our more advanced spin class. I recommend we start you with our beginners' group. 1.2571 0.05069 105 82 19 4
2156 It could be quite a while before one of the end units opens up. I'd recommend you take unit #3 before it's gone too. You're going to love it. Personally,it's one of my favorites. 1.2571 0.06333 70 55 12 3
2157 What? You never heard of Standarized Testing? 1.2571 0.06956 70 57 8 5
2158 Do you have a wheel in turtle class? 1.2569 0.05116 109 86 18 5
2159 Take my advice and just say "no way" to that rat race. 1.2568 0.06103 74 58 13 3
2160 The hare trained here...Really? 1.2568 0.05792 74 57 15 2
2161 Would you say that you exercise daily, fewer than three times a week, seldom, or not applicable? 1.2568 0.05792 74 57 15 2
2162 Your class is waiting,O Great Spinmaster. 1.2568 0.06103 74 58 13 3
2163 I'm sorry, Wobbles. I don't make the rules. 1.2568 0.05792 74 57 15 2
2164 It's not a contest. 1.2568 0.05792 74 57 15 2
2165 I support your mouse identity but this is a liability issue. 1.2568 0.06103 74 58 13 3
2166 Let's start with a warm up. How's your speed? 1.2568 0.05792 74 57 15 2
2167 How many years of experience did you say you have?!?! 1.2568 0.06103 74 58 13 3
2168 Our HR department will get in touch with you 1.2568 0.05792 74 57 15 2
2169 I don't think our spin class will help soften your abs. 1.2566 0.04833 113 88 21 4
2170 Look, you don't have to race. We just want to give you a chance to compete. 1.2564 0.06435 78 63 10 5
2171 Either you're overly optimistic or on some kind of drugs. 1.2564 0.05895 78 61 14 3
2172 Can you make coffee? 1.2564 0.06689 78 64 8 6
2173 I read you resume… you’re not very productive. 1.2564 0.06171 78 62 12 4
2174 You're in team Zeno. 1.2564 0.05895 78 61 14 3
2175 Slow and steady may win the race, it’s just that no one has won yet. 1.2564 0.05895 78 61 14 3
2176 fast and loose wins the race here 1.2564 0.06435 78 63 10 5
2177 And the first month is free, if you’re vaccinated, with our Hot Girl Summer promotion. 1.2564 0.05895 78 61 14 3
2178 Sorry, protective gear is not allowed in this contest 1.2564 0.05895 78 61 14 3
2179 I'm not being racist, but let's be honest. We both knew there is a reason it's called the rat race. 1.2561 0.05435 82 63 17 2
2180 It's mostly gym-rats here on Mondays. 1.2561 0.05964 82 65 13 4
2181 Your ticket, please! 1.2561 0.05706 82 64 15 3
2182 Welcome to spinning class. 1.2561 0.05435 82 63 17 2
2183 Don't take this the wrong way, but we're looking for a certain type of applicant. 1.2561 0.05964 82 65 13 4
2184 In three weeks, you'll be as buff as these guys, without shelling out a penny! 1.2561 0.05964 82 65 13 4
2185 I'm sorry, as impressive as your resume is, we just don't think you have the qualifications for the job 1.2561 0.05706 82 64 15 3
2186 Are you here for the Arizona recount? 1.2561 0.06900 82 69 5 8
2187 OK, boss, I’ll try to get them to speed up to make quota. 1.2558 0.05532 86 67 16 3
2188 Welcome to the rat race, you've been assigned cubical number three. 1.2558 0.05532 86 67 16 3
2189 We'll need proof of vaccination. 1.2558 0.05532 86 67 16 3
2190 I guess you're right -- it's the same old runaround... 1.2558 0.05279 86 66 18 2
2191 I’m sorry , but after all of that training, your chances of beating the hare are slim to none! 1.2558 0.06006 86 69 12 5
2192 But how did the hare do? 1.2558 0.05774 86 68 14 4
2193 First, you'll need to sign this release... 1.2556 0.05135 90 69 19 2
2194 I'm not sure this rat race is the best job fit for you but in the next office over I happen to know they are looking for someone who knows the shell game. 1.2556 0.05373 90 70 17 3
2195 May I see your invitation, please? 1.2556 0.05600 90 71 15 4
2196 The slow speed unit is out for repairs 1.2556 0.05373 90 70 17 3
2197 I'm sorry but you have to be this fast to ride the wheel 1.2556 0.05600 90 71 15 4
2198 I'm training for a race against a rabbit, and I need the speed work. 1.2556 0.04886 90 68 21 1
2199 It’s all in the hips 1.2556 0.05600 90 71 15 4
2200 We will be anticipating a rock solid performance from you. 1.2556 0.05600 90 71 15 4
2201 You had a good run against the hare, but I’m not sure this is for you. 1.2556 0.05373 90 70 17 3
2202 You could become shell shocked! 1.2553 0.05440 94 74 16 4
2203 But really, no rush. 1.2553 0.05002 94 72 20 2
2204 Hey, if you want to try it, I won't stop you. Gravity might though. 1.2553 0.05002 94 72 20 2
2205 If there's still no winner, we drop the last-place candidate and redistribute the fourth choice on their ballots. That's you. 1.2553 0.05846 94 76 12 6
2206 Trust me. This is not for the slow and steady. 1.2553 0.05002 94 72 20 2
2207 The hare wore himself out on the treadmill… he’s napping now. 1.2553 0.05002 94 72 20 2
2208 labor shortage Bob, don’t push me 1.2553 0.05647 94 75 14 5
2209 its easier than it looks. 1.2551 0.05292 98 77 17 4
2210 We also offer 'slow & steady' zooming classes. 1.2551 0.04878 98 75 21 2
2211 You’ll be expected to work through lunch to keep up with your team 1.2551 0.05292 98 77 17 4
2212 Do you want to flip for the 4th wheel? 1.2547 0.05202 106 84 17 5
2213 These are guaranteed to help you break out of your shell. 1.2545 0.05074 110 87 18 5
2214 I didn’t even know this gear existed. 1.2537 0.06143 67 52 13 2
2215 Have you considered another sport? 1.2537 0.06840 67 54 9 4
2216 Congratulations on being the first person hired through our new affirmative action program. 1.2535 0.05923 71 55 14 2
2217 You may be a little slow, but I think that makes you a perfect fit for the rat race" 1.2535 0.06254 71 56 12 3
2218 Your experience in racing will serve you well here. 1.2535 0.06254 71 56 12 3
2219 I assume I'm in the control group. 1.2535 0.05923 71 55 14 2
2220 Listen…you need to take your grievances to H.R.” 1.2533 0.05724 75 58 15 2
2221 We do it for love of cheese. Tell us your thoughts on cheese. 1.2533 0.06323 75 60 11 4
2222 What happened to slow and steady wins the race? 1.2533 0.06031 75 59 13 3
2223 Did you make a reservation? 1.2533 0.06031 75 59 13 3
2224 Slower, huh? See, that’s why we value your input. 1.2533 0.05724 75 58 15 2
2225 This is the Spinning My Wheels department. You want Slow Poke Services down the hall. 1.2532 0.05544 79 61 16 2
2226 Well ok,you can have wheel #2,but don’t you think it’s sorta like putting an oval peg in a round hole sir? 1.2532 0.05829 79 62 14 3
2227 I just need a passing grade in PE. 1.2532 0.05544 79 61 16 2
2228 I don't know what it is, boss, the team just seems to be going in circles. 1.2532 0.06361 79 64 10 5
2229 Thank you for filling our diversity quota 1.2532 0.05243 79 60 18 1
2230 You really have to have a hard outer shell for this job! 1.2532 0.06101 79 63 12 4
2231 We all learned a lot from the pandemic and our return to the workplace is going to be different. We promise 1.2532 0.05544 79 61 16 2
2232 Yeah, it's a hedge fund, but you'll be working small caps. 1.2530 0.05899 83 66 13 4
2233 Read the fine print. No refunds. 1.2530 0.05645 83 65 15 3
2234 I’m afraid you’re too slow to work our turbine. 1.2530 0.06143 83 67 11 5
2235 Even if I could let you in, are you sure you'd want this? After all, it's an endless and meaningless pursuit. 1.2530 0.05645 83 65 15 3
2236 you I'm sorry, you're looking for our stationary pools. 1.2530 0.05378 83 64 17 2
2237 You’re a great candidate, we’re just not sure you can meet our new production standards. You’ll also need to sign this waiver… 1.2530 0.05899 83 66 13 4
2238 Jesus, take the wheel. 1.2530 0.05645 83 65 15 3
2239 You can’t work from home anymore, but you can’t bring your home to work either 1.2530 0.05899 83 66 13 4
2240 You came all this way to tell me you didn’t want the job? 1.2529 0.05476 87 68 16 3
2241 Our lawyers say the risk of tortoise liability is too high. 1.2529 0.05715 87 69 14 4
2242 Because I've got a clipboard and you're a damn turtle, that's why. 1.2529 0.05226 87 67 18 2
2243 Sorry, carapace is the wrong kind of pace. 1.2529 0.05476 87 68 16 3
2244 Yes, you do get weekends off 1.2529 0.05944 87 70 12 5
2245 In the long run, we think you’ll be a good fit. 1.2529 0.05715 87 69 14 4
2246 Sorry, sir, but the lifetime membership is only available to the mice. 1.2529 0.05715 87 69 14 4
2247 Our experiment shows conclusively that although you identify as a mouse, you are not actually a mouse. 1.2529 0.05944 87 70 12 5
2248 The mice immediately regretted outsourcing to the Galapagos. 1.2529 0.05715 87 69 14 4
2249 A rat race?!? I signed up for a 5K! 1.2529 0.05944 87 70 12 5
2250 I'm sorry. You missed your reservation by two days. 1.2529 0.05226 87 67 18 2
2251 If you break it you buy it 1.2529 0.05715 87 69 14 4
2252 No worries, it adjusts to your speed. 1.2529 0.05715 87 69 14 4
2253 Is it turtle or tortoise? I can never remember. Are tortoises the ones you can hypnotize by rubbing their belly? Or is that turtles? Not being racist; just asking a question. Now, the shell: is it like a mobile home in there? Can I touch it? 1.2527 0.05321 91 71 17 3
2254 Sorry, the ad says said wanted running mate for hire, not hare 1.2527 0.05970 91 74 11 6
2255 Listen, it’s a steady paycheck and you can work from home. 1.2527 0.05321 91 71 17 3
2256 I see from your resume you defeated the Hare, but we’re really looking for team players 1.2526 0.04956 95 73 20 2
2257 You'll get a Red Bull 1.2526 0.05177 95 74 18 3
2258 Be warned, you’ll need to shell out. 1.2526 0.05389 95 75 16 4
2259 We appreciate you stepping in on such short notice. 1.2526 0.05389 95 75 16 4
2260 Look, I’ll be honest with you…we need a baseline. 1.2526 0.04956 95 73 20 2
2261 The shell is a great idea, but I don't think back injuries are going to be the issue. 1.2526 0.04956 95 73 20 2
2262 2021 has brought us species neutral competition. 1.2526 0.05389 95 75 16 4
2263 The others are sure to benefit from your history of consistency your résumé details. When can you start? 1.2525 0.05245 99 78 17 4
2264 We have an immediate opening 1.2525 0.04836 99 76 21 2
2265 You’re the first to really embrace our new work-from-home policy. 1.2524 0.05110 103 81 18 4
2266 Think of it as a job rotation. 1.2500 0.05837 84 67 13 4
2267 We're offering a sign on bonus if you take the job. 1.2500 0.05585 84 66 15 3
2268 3 out of 4 hamsters prefer a wheel that spins, but we want to know what you think. 1.2500 0.07043 64 52 8 4
2269 It's like SoulCycle, but for the average New Yorker. 1.2500 0.06485 72 58 10 4
2270 Of course you can look like that, but you've gotta want it! 1.2500 0.06248 76 61 11 4
2271 Your first spin class? 1.2500 0.05483 80 62 16 2
2272 It's a clothing optional gym now! 1.2500 0.05851 72 56 14 2
2273 The limit per session is thirty minutes. 1.2500 0.05130 96 75 18 3
2274 I’m sorry sir. This is a mammals-only gym. 1.2500 0.05764 80 63 14 3
2275 So, how do you like working from home? 1.2500 0.05541 96 77 14 5
2276 Actually, we are looking for someone with a lot of speed. 1.2500 0.05585 84 66 15 3
2277 Sorry, we don't pay by the hour. 1.2500 0.05421 88 69 16 3
2278 Where is the rabbit? 1.2500 0.05270 92 72 17 3
2279 In this contest, no one knows you’re a turtle. 1.2500 0.06523 76 62 9 5
2280 Talk, yes, but don’t snap at them. 1.2500 0.05483 80 62 16 2
2281 Did I hear you say that you felt like a third wheel?” 1.2500 0.05658 76 59 15 2
2282 Hop up there and you'll be middle management in a year. 1.2500 0.06485 72 58 10 4
2283 I promise if you stick with it,you too can look like them! 1.2500 0.05421 88 69 16 3
2284 Very funny. 1.2500 0.05883 88 71 12 5
2285 yeah, umm we really need a rat in the ranks, what’s your view on libertarianism? 1.2500 0.06248 76 61 11 4
2286 We told you yesterday, only if you step out of your shell 1.2500 0.06077 84 68 11 5
2287 Sure those are not forged papers? 1.2500 0.05657 88 70 14 4
2288 After you learn to fit in, you'll get the hang of it. 1.2500 0.05585 84 66 15 3
2289 It's good to see your back. 1.2500 0.06563 60 47 11 2
2290 Are you certain you signed up for the rat race? 1.2500 0.05923 96 79 10 7
2291 No! YOU don't understand! 1.2500 0.05492 92 73 15 4
2292 You misunderstood. We need somebody who can hurdle - not a turtle. 1.2500 0.06485 72 58 10 4
2293 There are no winners or losers. 1.2500 0.05960 76 60 13 3
2294 I'm sorry sir, we are looking more for speed and agility than slow and steady. 1.2500 0.05421 88 69 16 3
2295 You don't stand a chance in this rat race! 1.2500 0.06033 80 64 12 4
2296 If its a challenge your looking for, you may be in the right place! 1.2500 0.05585 84 66 15 3
2297 The brakes are a little tricky on the fourth wheel. 1.2500 0.05705 92 74 13 5
2298 Sorry. Your pool of contestants was last week. 1.2500 0.05339 96 76 16 4
2299 May I take another look at your reservation? 1.2500 0.06033 80 64 12 4
2300 Just remember, it’s the journey, not the destination. 1.2500 0.05046 84 64 19 1
2301 Going slower? No, that'll never work. 1.2500 0.05492 92 73 15 4
2302 We'll keep your application on file. 1.2500 0.05000 76 57 19 0
2303 Just run (or walk) at your own pace… 1.2500 0.06485 72 58 10 4
2304 Sir, please leave your shell at the entrance. 1.2500 0.05175 88 68 18 2
2305 No, a 1/10th speed program does not cost 1/10th as much." 1.2500 0.06248 76 61 11 4
2306 are you a turtle or are you a tortois? cause either way we're not letting you in. 1.2500 0.05657 88 70 14 4
2307 No, you have to be a member. 1.2500 0.05283 108 87 15 6
2308 Bob, I hardly recognize you. 1.2500 0.06536 80 66 8 6
2309 We have an opening on wheel three, but you'll have to ditch the shell. 1.2500 0.05911 92 75 11 6
2310 You’d be a third wheel. 1.2500 0.06077 84 68 11 5
2311 Keep the wheels turning 1.2500 0.05421 88 69 16 3
2312 The hare gave you a glowing recommendation. 1.2500 0.05585 84 66 15 3
2313 It seems as though they weren’t as qualified for the job as their resumes lead on… 1.2500 0.05657 88 70 14 4
2314 You must be the new CEO. 1.2500 0.06176 72 57 12 3
2315 The perk of this treadmill is that if you look side-to-side it creates the illusion that you’re moving fast. 1.2500 0.04642 88 66 22 0
2316 Sorry we have to let you go Herman, but you just don’t fit into our corporate culture… 1.2500 0.05893 64 49 14 1
2317 I’d say our workplace culture hereat Rat Race is pretty laid-back; you’ll fit right in. 1.2500 0.05038 92 71 19 2
2318 I’m ready…I’m always ranked first in my age group. 1.2500 0.06033 80 64 12 4
2319 You still need to sign a liability waiver. 1.2500 0.05483 80 62 16 2
2320 I’m not going to run in circles for this caption. 1.2500 0.06289 80 65 10 5
2321 You want to join ‘what’ race? 1.2500 0.05960 76 60 13 3
2322 Try to come out of your shell 1.2500 0.05000 100 78 19 3
2323 are you familiar with the concept of centrifugal force? 1.2500 0.05506 72 55 16 1
2324 Upstairs says you're not meeting the KPI's, George 1.2500 0.04916 88 67 20 1
2325 Your expertise on the team could not come sooner. At this point, Jared over there lets the wheel turn him. 1.2500 0.05492 92 73 15 4
2326 How are your soft skills? 1.2500 0.05186 80 61 18 1
2327 We work hard and we play hard. 1.2500 0.05960 76 60 13 3
2328 Your dad may own the company, but I run the day to day... 1.2500 0.05322 84 65 17 2
2329 Corporate wants to put a higher emphasis on "steady," but to be frank, there's going to be some resistence to the rest of your methodology. 1.2500 0.05657 88 70 14 4
2330 So, your resume said you beat the rabbit once. 1.2500 0.05198 100 79 17 4
2331 Sorry, you don’t qualify for the rat-race 1.2477 0.05074 109 87 17 5
2332 I am sorry, but you gotta sign the liability waiver. 1.2475 0.05523 101 82 13 6
2333 No you got it wrong. Slow and Steady Co. is around the corner 1.2475 0.05341 101 81 15 5
2334 Yes, I know the race is not always to the swift, but that's who we're looking for today. 1.2474 0.05083 97 76 18 3
2335 On your resume, you say you beat a rabbit in a race? 1.2474 0.05083 97 76 18 3
2336 I’ll put you in the fifth wheel. 1.2474 0.05490 97 78 14 5
2337 I understand you beat the rabbit with zero training, Mr. Turtle, but not getting in shape before racing the cheetah is a harebrained idea.” 1.2474 0.05682 97 79 12 6
2338 You gotta lose the shell. 1.2474 0.05290 97 77 16 4
2339 „Sorry. I’m afraid you’re overqualified“ 1.2474 0.05290 97 77 16 4
2340 We don't allow hares, either. 1.2473 0.05439 93 74 15 4
2341 But you hate the upside down part! 1.2473 0.05439 93 74 15 4
2342 Slow and steady? Our new hires must be fast and frantic. 1.2473 0.05439 93 74 15 4
2343 You're most certainly welcome, but just know that we have a two round minimum 1.2473 0.05220 93 73 17 3
2344 Seriously it will be great for your back! 1.2473 0.04991 93 72 19 2
2345 I said a short wait- what's the hurry? 1.2473 0.05220 93 73 17 3
2346 I'm sorry, but we can't let you reserve it for the week. 1.2472 0.05824 89 72 12 5
2347 We can offer you payment in cheese. 1.2472 0.04868 89 68 20 1
2348 This is a rat race. There is no finish line. 1.2472 0.06247 89 74 8 7
2349 Look boss, I know you always win the race, so give me a little advice. 1.2472 0.05600 89 71 14 4
2350 Don't bother, you can't win on this thing. 1.2472 0.05124 89 69 18 2
2351 We've all heard about that race, but this is different. 1.2472 0.05124 89 69 18 2
2352 You do understand that they've all had a head start? 1.2472 0.05824 89 72 12 5
2353 Our gym doesn’t have facilities for your kind. You simply won’t fit in. (Who knew mice were so prejudiced?) 1.2472 0.05824 89 72 12 5
2354 It's a fifty for you to take my place. 1.2472 0.05824 89 72 12 5
2355 Pointless... Not Pointless... You want the job or what? 1.2472 0.05824 89 72 12 5
2356 You look nothing like your picture online… 1.2472 0.05600 89 71 14 4
2357 I’ll need Dramamine. 1.2471 0.05527 85 67 15 3
2358 Dude, you got this! 1.2471 0.05268 85 66 17 2
2359 No, these wheels are way too fast for you. The treadmills are next door in the other gym. 1.2471 0.04995 85 65 19 1
2360 I 'm sorry. I just don't see how your past experience is relevant to the rat race. 1.2471 0.06241 85 70 9 6
2361 Sir, I think your gerbils are running. 1.2471 0.06241 85 70 9 6
2362 I'm sorry, but all of our exercise equipment is approved for rodent use only. Have you tried "Reps for Reptiles" down the street? 1.2471 0.05527 85 67 15 3
2363 Any suggestions about how we can slow things down a bit? 1.2471 0.05527 85 67 15 3
2364 We appreciate your father’s generous donation 1.2471 0.06013 85 69 11 5
2365 But you have to make accommodations for my different abilities! I also identify as avian, so I need a perch. 1.2469 0.05966 81 65 12 4
2366 Sorry, Bill. You're a shell of your former self. 1.2469 0.05701 81 64 14 3
2367 Sorry, but we can't hire for the green energy biz based on ancient fables! 1.2469 0.05966 81 65 12 4
2368 You’re overqualified for a run of the mill job” 1.2469 0.05966 81 65 12 4
2369 Yes, that’s the Slow-and-Steady one… 1.2469 0.05701 81 64 14 3
2370 I like your confidence.. but no you cannot do this blindfolded.. 1.2469 0.05131 81 62 18 1
2371 You won that race? 1.2468 0.06175 77 62 11 4
2372 Hasn’t this study been published already? 1.2468 0.05891 77 61 13 3
2373 Sorry about your early disqualification, 1.2468 0.06175 77 62 11 4
2374 Not so fast rat boy, you heard what happened to the hare. 1.2468 0.05891 77 61 13 3
2375 Fine, but make it quick. 1.2468 0.06175 77 62 11 4
2376 I'm a tortoise. Not a 'differently abled quadruped,' as you would have it. 1.2468 0.06445 77 63 9 5
2377 I'm sorry, sir, but you don't meet the ears requirement. 1.2468 0.06445 77 63 9 5
2378 Sorry, your blood test came back positive for marijuana, the most diabolical of the performance-enhancing drugs. 1.2468 0.06705 77 64 7 6
2379 Are you here for the astronaut training? 1.2468 0.06445 77 63 9 5
2380 When we said "non-species specific," we were being politically correct. 1.2468 0.05891 77 61 13 3
2381 Weisselberg managed just fine. 1.2468 0.06175 77 62 11 4
2382 Slow and steady is celebrated but not encouraged. 1.2468 0.06705 77 64 7 6
2383 I’m sorry, but it seems you’re overqualified for the position. 1.2468 0.05891 77 61 13 3
2384 Rules are rules, you fall off - you lose the competition. 1.2468 0.05594 77 60 15 2
2385 In the end the race is only with yourself. 1.2466 0.06405 73 59 10 4
2386 About your CV.... 1.2466 0.06101 73 58 12 3
2387 Your half hour time limit on the equipment, includes the approach! 1.2466 0.05780 73 57 14 2
2388 Sorry, you're scheduled for Casual Friday. 1.2466 0.05780 73 57 14 2
2389 I'm afraid you don't meet our needs at the current time. 1.2466 0.05441 73 56 16 1
2390 Yes, the ad said that only quadrupeds need apply, but.... 1.2466 0.05441 73 56 16 1
2391 Well I betcha DO feel like a mouse inside, but fella... 1.2466 0.05780 73 57 14 2
2392 Sorry, it’s still a 30 minute limit. 1.2466 0.05441 73 56 16 1
2393 You’ll never be able to do it in that ridiculous fancy dress costume” 1.2466 0.05780 73 57 14 2
2394 You trained with us for weeks to beat that hare. I’m just saying, a thank you would have been nice. 1.2466 0.06101 73 58 12 3
2395 See, at least you got your shell. 1.2466 0.06101 73 58 12 3
2396 You will be stunned by the transition just $9.99 per month will deliver. 1.2464 0.06332 69 55 11 3
2397 When you applied, you didn't say you were, er...um... You're really not on your back that long. 1.2464 0.06332 69 55 11 3
2398 Being over qualified handicaps you only if you get in the wrong job. 1.2464 0.05986 69 54 13 2
2399 I like your helmet 1.2464 0.06660 69 56 9 4
2400 Sorry - no working from home. 1.2464 0.05986 69 54 13 2
2401 I don't see any squirrels today either. 1.2464 0.06332 69 55 11 3
2402 Sorry, bud. This clinical trial is meant for people with anxiety, not depression. 1.2464 0.06973 69 57 7 5
2403 Sorry pal, only Pfizer and Moderna allowed on the wheel. 1.2464 0.05986 69 54 13 2
2404 We’ll start at slowest and work our way up to less slow. 1.2462 0.06214 65 51 12 2
2405 You say you beat a hare. Let’s see what you got. 1.2462 0.06214 65 51 12 2
2406 So, you're a trans-mouse? 1.2462 0.06589 65 52 10 3
2407 ‘I’m sorry, the papers mentioned two parents coming to take Kevin home.’ 1.2462 0.06589 65 52 10 3
2408 While we appreciate you coming out of your shell post-pandemic, we have a strict no walk-in policy 1.2462 0.06214 65 51 12 2
2409 where is you release of liability 1.2459 0.06468 61 48 11 2
2410 YoYou realize the pace of this job ? 1.2455 0.04865 110 87 19 4
2411 I'm sorry, but we can't just hire you on the word of a hare. 1.2453 0.05159 106 85 16 5
2412 You can give it a try - but I would advise you lose the Hat! 1.2453 0.04982 106 84 18 4
2413 Look man, I know it's hard finding a job these days but I just don't think you're qualified for this line of work. 1.2449 0.05629 98 80 12 6
2414 I can't speak to what your husband told you, but there's no member here by that name. 1.2449 0.05242 98 78 16 4
2415 It took you a week to get here? Lucky for you, we're a 24 hour fitness center. 1.2447 0.05387 94 75 15 4
2416 We've heard the story sir. I just don't see how "slow and steady" applies here. 1.2447 0.05387 94 75 15 4
2417 If you have to ask...... 1.2444 0.05074 90 70 18 2
2418 Have no fear, there is no shell shaming here! 1.2444 0.05314 90 71 16 3
2419 Surely you've heard of the Tortoise and the Hare. 1.2444 0.05314 90 71 16 3
2420 Don't worry, you'll get up to speed in no time. 1.2444 0.05314 90 71 16 3
2421 The hare has it booked through race day. 1.2442 0.05470 86 68 15 3
2422 Sorry, kid. It's called a rat race for a reason. 1.2442 0.05715 86 69 13 4
2423 As our shell company, you help keep the wheels spinning 1.2442 0.06175 86 71 9 6
2424 Your application says you won a famous race to determine 'The Fastest Animal in the Forest.' - Impressive! 1.2442 0.05715 86 69 13 4
2425 Welcome to suburbia! 1.2442 0.05715 86 69 13 4
2426 Well, you said you were a fast learner. 1.2442 0.05214 86 67 17 2
2427 Sorry. The tortoise and the hare thing is over. We are doing rats chasing their tails now . 1.2442 0.06175 86 71 9 6
2428 Oh, it’s totally safe. You’ll be fine. Just need you to sign this waiver form first. 1.2442 0.05470 86 68 15 3
2429 Most of our projects are ongoing, but our turnaround time is quite fast. 1.2442 0.05949 86 70 11 5
2430 In this phase we weed out the square pegs. 1.2439 0.05900 82 66 12 4
2431 Did Skinner send you? 1.2439 0.06150 82 67 10 5
2432 Uh, pretty sure you've responded to the wrong clinical trial, buddy! 1.2439 0.05366 82 64 16 2
2433 Over your lifetime, you should be able to beat them in mileage. 1.2439 0.05366 82 64 16 2
2434 I got a guy that says you’re a sure thing. 1.2439 0.05639 82 65 14 3
2435 Fake it till you make it 1.2439 0.05366 82 64 16 2
2436 Slow and steady will get you just as far. 1.2436 0.05531 78 61 15 2
2437 You realize this is only for mammals. 1.2436 0.04892 78 59 19 0
2438 You'll be testing this exercise wheel for the AARP. 1.2436 0.05531 78 61 15 2
2439 This will give you rock-hard abs. 1.2436 0.05531 78 61 15 2
2440 Pelotons are so coronavirus. 1.2436 0.05824 78 62 13 3
2441 We're looking for long-term employees. 1.2436 0.05824 78 62 13 3
2442 You will need to keep moving. We do not allow for tortoise interruptus. 1.2436 0.05531 78 61 15 2
2443 Look, it's a rat race down here. Lemme find you something on the third floor. 1.2436 0.06370 78 64 9 5
2444 No thanks, I'm really not that concerned about my weight. 1.2436 0.05824 78 62 13 3
2445 „It wouldn’t be fair to the other contestants.” 1.2436 0.04892 78 59 19 0
2446 You finished? 1.2436 0.05824 78 62 13 3
2447 Please stop calling it the 'dreadmill'... 1.2436 0.05824 78 62 13 3
2448 You may think you'll move ahead faster here but, trust me, you'll actually just be spinning your wheel. 1.2436 0.05221 78 60 17 1
2449 You’ll have to sign a waiver. 1.2436 0.05221 78 60 17 1
2450 There's no need to feel intimidated; not every member is a gym rat. 1.2432 0.06327 74 60 10 4
2451 What's your m.p.h.? 1.2432 0.06327 74 60 10 4
2452 separate but equal training facilities are not in your contract. 1.2432 0.06027 74 59 12 3
2453 Go for it! You have the look of a winner. 1.2432 0.06613 74 61 8 5
2454 Our guy dropped out of the rat race, says here you’re a “hare” faster? 1.2432 0.05711 74 58 14 2
2455 Our trainer assured us exercise increases life expectancy. 1.2432 0.06027 74 59 12 3
2456 Now, spin club isn't for everyone 1.2432 0.06327 74 60 10 4
2457 I don't see your name on the list. 1.2432 0.06327 74 60 10 4
2458 Sure they're going nowhere but they're getting there fast. 1.2429 0.06574 70 57 9 4
2459 Of course a turtle can join the rat race. But why would you? 1.2429 0.05162 70 53 17 0
2460 There's no way you beat that hare... 1.2429 0.06881 70 58 7 5
2461 Sorry, we only rent the exercise units by the hour, not by the week. 1.2429 0.05910 70 55 13 2
2462 Do I look like a rat to you? 1.2429 0.06251 70 56 11 3
2463 I'm sorry, but you must be at least this tall or this fast to get onto the ride. 1.2429 0.06251 70 56 11 3
2464 Sorry, I just don't think you are the right fit for this 1.2429 0.06251 70 56 11 3
2465 Want to try? These guys think its fun. 1.2424 0.07181 66 55 6 5
2466 We want more diversity in our group. 1.2424 0.05737 66 51 14 1
2467 Seriously! 1.2424 0.05195 99 79 16 4
2468 Slow and steady is great. It’s just not the look we’re after. 1.2424 0.06130 66 52 12 2
2469 I’d describe the work environment as… fast paced. The benefits are great though. 1.2424 0.06849 66 54 8 4
2470 Thank you for participating in our Study on Mixed Metaphors. 1.2421 0.05741 95 78 11 6
2471 Try to stay off your back this time. 1.2421 0.04665 95 73 21 1
2472 Don't worry. Wheel #3 only wobbles above 1 RPM, so you'll be fine. 1.2421 0.05337 95 76 15 4
2473 Looks like you need someone slow but steady... 1.2421 0.05542 95 77 13 5
2474 Can't you just wait to do your workout until you outlive the rest of us? 1.2421 0.05122 95 75 17 3
2475 Well, yes, but for us it’s a profession, not a weekend warrior challenge from a hare buddy. 1.2421 0.05337 95 76 15 4
2476 Ahh you must be the new employee. Now that we’ve met our full diversity quota, we’re ready to go. 1.2421 0.05933 95 79 9 7
2477 I'm sorry, but you don't qualify for the opening. 1.2419 0.05946 62 48 13 1
2478 It's a different market since you beat the hare in '02. 1.2419 0.07157 62 51 7 4
2479 Well, mister slow and steady, let's just see if you can win this race! 1.2419 0.06777 62 50 9 3
2480 Sorry, but we screen everyone. Are you the Farmer's Wife? 1.2419 0.06777 62 50 9 3
2481 There's a good reason why we call it the 'rat race.' 1.2418 0.04776 91 70 20 1
2482 Look,I don’t want to profile you but.., 1.2418 0.05263 91 72 16 3
2483 We brought you in to show them how it's done. 1.2418 0.05263 91 72 16 3
2484 But the ad said this was an equal opportunity employer. 1.2418 0.05490 91 73 14 4
2485 We would have invited the hare, but no one likes being the fifth wheel. 1.2418 0.05918 91 75 10 6
2486 The idea is to start slow.. 1.2414 0.05414 87 69 15 3
2487 I see your resume states you won the race with the hare. You’re hired! 1.2414 0.05656 87 70 13 4
2488 Hmmm...I need to call the temp agency. 1.2414 0.05161 87 68 17 2
2489 Just do your best. Ivy League admissions will be watching. 1.2414 0.05656 87 70 13 4
2490 This is your chance, Rudy. 1.2414 0.05656 87 70 13 4
2491 I'm sorry, but auditions ended last month. 1.2414 0.05414 87 69 15 3
2492 Any interest in training for the rat race? 1.2414 0.05414 87 69 15 3
2493 Get real. This ain't a fable. 1.2414 0.05161 87 68 17 2
2494 please come out of your shell 1.2414 0.05414 87 69 15 3
2495 In sorry, you're in the wrong analogy - we're training for the rat race. 1.2414 0.05414 87 69 15 3
2496 I’m going to go ahead and contact your references. 1.2414 0.06110 87 72 9 6
2497 If you're serious about this training program, you have to get here on time. 1.2414 0.05656 87 70 13 4
2498 We think of our business as revolutionary. 1.2410 0.05836 83 67 12 4
2499 Don't forget, I have a shell,It will not hurt. 1.2410 0.06083 83 68 10 5
2500 Looks like you already found your footing 1.2410 0.05309 83 65 16 2
2501 Happy retirement Herb, we're going to miss you here at the rat race. 1.2410 0.05836 83 67 12 4
2502 Best thing about it is there's no finish line so everyone wins! 1.2410 0.05579 83 66 14 3
2503 As you can see, we train our food delivery guys with top of the line equipment 1.2410 0.05309 83 65 16 2
2504 Sorry,this is the rat race. Aesop’s group is around the corner. 1.2405 0.06033 79 64 11 4
2505 And you say the temp agency fully vetted you for this position? 1.2405 0.05469 79 62 15 2
2506 We'll call you. 1.2405 0.06033 79 64 11 4
2507 If you join our mighty mice gym, you’ll be a ninja turtle in no time. 1.2405 0.06033 79 64 11 4
2508 Sorry,we don’t have any available eWheels 1.2405 0.06033 79 64 11 4
2509 You’re too rigid to meet our standards. 1.2405 0.06297 79 65 9 5
2510 But I got you this job. That's the last time I stick my neck out for you. 1.2405 0.05469 79 62 15 2
2511 Again, you’re training for what? 1.2405 0.05164 79 61 17 1
2512 Beating the hare doesn't mean you're ready to join the rat race. 1.2405 0.06297 79 65 9 5
2513 On your last routine I clocked you at 60 feet per hour--I think you are just about ready for the big race. 1.2405 0.05758 79 63 13 3
2514 Please accept my two week notice, i’ve had time to reflect over the last year, i’m ready to get off the rat wheel and find my true purpose 1.2405 0.05758 79 63 13 3
2515 Sorry pal, you need to be THIS small to ride 1.2405 0.06549 79 66 7 6
2516 Sorry Pal,the race was yesterday. 1.2404 0.05202 104 84 15 5
2517 If you flip over, you’ll really be in the soup. 1.2400 0.05148 100 80 16 4
2518 Listen, I get the whole slow and steady wins the race thing, but this job really is about the speed. 1.2400 0.06250 75 61 10 4
2519 I ask for a Hare, and I get Three Blind Mice & a Tortoise! 1.2400 0.05955 75 60 12 3
2520 After your surprise win against the hare in the footrace, you're now the favorite in this event 1.2400 0.05955 75 60 12 3
2521 Don't worry about them. Just be yourself and you'll be fine. 1.2400 0.05644 75 59 14 2
2522 Maybe you could just make whirring noises? 1.2400 0.06250 75 61 10 4
2523 A word of caution: The time-tested Tortoise and Hare strategy won't work here... 1.2400 0.06250 75 61 10 4
2524 Why would you want to get into the rat race? 1.2400 0.06250 75 61 10 4
2525 Here's the deal. You take a shift for me, and I'll make sure that hare is left in the dust. 1.2400 0.05955 75 60 12 3
2526 I see you’ve come to take the place of the third wheel.. 1.2400 0.05644 75 59 14 2
2527 But your reservation says "Race Winner." 1.2400 0.05644 75 59 14 2
2528 Wheel No 3 is available sir! 1.2400 0.05315 75 58 16 1
2529 Based on your resume, I expected something different. 1.2396 0.05075 96 76 17 3
2530 You need proof of vaccination to return to work. 1.2396 0.05490 96 78 13 5
2531 You’ll never beat the Hare if you don’t train! 1.2396 0.05287 96 77 15 4
2532 I know your history, but trust me: it's less a race than a team-building exercise. 1.2394 0.06489 71 58 9 4
2533 Hell, why not? You'll probably do better than these goofballs. 1.2394 0.05836 71 56 13 2
2534 The wheel is new, and it was hardly used! 1.2394 0.05101 71 54 17 0
2535 If you’re here for a stress test, you’ll need a doctor’s prescription. 1.2394 0.06172 71 57 11 3
2536 The job is yours if you want it. The guy who quit said he felt like he was just spinning his wheels. 1.2394 0.06172 71 57 11 3
2537 Let's start you off with what we call a carapace. 1.2391 0.05651 92 75 12 5
2538 It’s exercise, not a shell game. 1.2391 0.04977 92 72 18 2
2539 But it took you an hour to walk here from the front door. 1.2391 0.04977 92 72 18 2
2540 With my training methods I can all but guarantee you'll beat that hare. 1.2391 0.05212 92 73 16 3
2541 Sorry you're too late for the marathon. 1.2391 0.04977 92 72 18 2
2542 According to your résumé you once outran a hare; this should be a walk in the park for an athlete of your caliber! 1.2388 0.05663 67 52 14 1
2543 Looks like the hare’s a no show. 1.2388 0.05663 67 52 14 1
2544 You’re qualified.. 1.2388 0.06412 67 54 10 3
2545 Let me see you do a back flip from the squat position. 1.2388 0.05663 67 52 14 1
2546 I'm sorry, I can't help you sir; it's "the Tortoise vs the Hare" - not the Hamster! 1.2388 0.06412 67 54 10 3
2547 It is not a bad job but the turnover is quite rapid. 1.2388 0.06049 67 53 12 2
2548 You're just pulling my leg, right? 1.2386 0.05110 88 69 17 2
2549 A few days on one of these bad boys and you'll be completely out of your shell. 1.2386 0.05598 88 71 13 4
2550 Whadeya mean, "the race is not always to the swift?" 1.2386 0.05598 88 71 13 4
2551 Welcome, we pride ourselves on our diversity. 1.2386 0.05110 88 69 17 2
2552 The hare run was last week. 1.2386 0.05110 88 69 17 2
2553 And if you sign up now, there’s no registration fee and you can cancel anytime. 1.2386 0.05598 88 71 13 4
2554 What are the opportunities for advancement in this job? 1.2386 0.06046 88 73 9 6
2555 You here for the 8am body sculpt class? 1.2386 0.05359 88 70 15 3
2556 Maybe our aquatic center is better suited for you. 1.2386 0.05598 88 71 13 4
2557 I suggest you start with the swimming pool. 1.2386 0.04847 88 68 19 1
2558 Welcome to the Rat Race Olympic qualifiers. I see here that you have tested positive for a performance dehancing substance. 1.2386 0.05359 88 70 15 3
2559 When the job description says “fast paced environment” 1.2386 0.05110 88 69 17 2
2560 It’s not a race, but ‘slow and steady’ is just a figure of speech. 1.2386 0.05359 88 70 15 3
2561 I forsee some challenges, but the job is yours. 1.2386 0.05359 88 70 15 3
2562 Have you ever been on the “metaphor for life” machines before? 1.2381 0.06285 63 50 11 2
2563 Sorry my friend, I just don’t think the rat race is for you. 1.2381 0.05773 84 68 12 4
2564 Keep your speed down until you get the hang of it. 1.2381 0.05253 84 66 16 2
2565 Rat race here! But if you're really in the mood for a race, I think you should find a hare! 1.2381 0.05519 84 67 14 3
2566 The Rabbit was here a long tine ago! 1.2381 0.06017 84 69 10 5
2567 Yes, your triumph over the hare was astounding. No, it does not make you the ideal candidate for this job. 1.2381 0.05773 84 68 12 4
2568 It’s a rat race — don’t get caught up in it. 1.2381 0.06017 84 69 10 5
2569 Is this your first time doing CrossFit? 1.2381 0.05773 84 68 12 4
2570 Slow and steady doesn't solve the round and flat issue. 1.2381 0.05773 84 68 12 4
2571 Welcome, we're slowly diversifying our workforce 1.2381 0.05158 105 85 15 5
2572 Have you tried Weight Watchers? 1.2381 0.05519 84 67 14 3
2573 I'm sorry, but we don't have room for the hare. 1.2381 0.05773 84 68 12 4
2574 Unfortunately, the Peloton Wheel+ for turtles has been recalled. 1.2381 0.04972 84 65 18 1
2575 Right, but what’s my characters motivation..? 1.2381 0.04972 84 65 18 1
2576 Don’t worry, you can learn on the job 1.2381 0.04789 105 83 19 3
2577 Are you sure this is your thing? 1.2376 0.05477 101 83 12 6
2578 Great resume but, slow and steady is not what we're looking for ! 1.2376 0.04905 101 80 18 3
2579 You sure you’re ready to rejoin the rat race? 1.2376 0.04905 101 80 18 3
2580 You're in luck. We're testing amphetamines. 1.2375 0.05409 80 63 15 2
2581 Due to COVID we are short on lab rats for experiments this week. 1.2375 0.05409 80 63 15 2
2582 Turtles are allowed, just no horseplay. 1.2375 0.05409 80 63 15 2
2583 I'm sorry, but the listing stipulated that our applicants 'keep a pace,' not 'carapace.' 1.2375 0.05409 80 63 15 2
2584 First time to this spinning class? 1.2375 0.05694 80 64 13 3
2585 It’s the ‘solar’ of the rodent world. 1.2375 0.05409 80 63 15 2
2586 It's only $70 a month and you'll be in the best shape of your life. 1.2375 0.05694 80 64 13 3
2587 Remember don’t compete, we’re looking for your personal best. 1.2375 0.04788 80 61 19 0
2588 What makes you think you can solve this? 1.2373 0.07388 59 49 6 4
2589 This race never ends, so this event is perfect for you. 1.2373 0.06549 59 47 10 2
2590 They're training for the Rat Race. 1.2371 0.05029 97 77 17 3
2591 Sorry your testosterone levels are too high. 1.2371 0.05439 97 79 13 5
2592 Besides that one race, what other qualifications do you have? 1.2368 0.05884 76 61 12 3
2593 So, do you have any references?” 1.2368 0.05254 76 59 16 1
2594 You look out of shape." 1.2368 0.05884 76 61 12 3
2595 I think your “slow and steady” approach is just what we need. 1.2368 0.05578 76 60 14 2
2596 The key is to not go too fast, think you can handle that speedy? 1.2368 0.05578 76 60 14 2
2597 Slow and steady won't cut it 1.2368 0.05254 76 59 16 1
2598 Just lay down, tuck your head-in, and wait until this is all over. 1.2368 0.05578 76 60 14 2
2599 We'd be delighted to have you join our competition, Mr. 1.2368 0.05884 76 61 12 3
2600 Do you have experience working in Tech? 1.2368 0.05254 76 59 16 1
2601 They believe they r winning the race 1.2368 0.05578 76 60 14 2
2602 Absolutely we’re an Equal Opportunity Employer♥️ 1.2368 0.05884 76 61 12 3
2603 Now, have you heard of Tom Petty’s ‘Free Fallin?’ 1.2368 0.05578 76 60 14 2
2604 Don’t worry, this is a longitudinal study.” 1.2366 0.05596 93 76 12 5
2605 Sorry Frank, but your resume says you don't like cheese. 1.2366 0.05383 93 75 14 4
2606 I’m sorry. Slow is too 2020. 1.2364 0.04820 110 88 18 4
2607 Well, I figure I’ve got about 100 years left in me so I’m just looking for something where I can bide my time. 1.2364 0.05154 110 90 14 6
2608 Let me see our vaccination card. 1.2361 0.06094 72 58 11 3
2609 We’ve been waiting for you. 1.2361 0.06407 72 59 9 4
2610 Are you sure? Coz this won’t be good for your ego. 1.2361 0.05764 72 57 13 2
2611 If we found the finish line we'd stop running. 1.2361 0.05414 72 56 15 1
2612 We've heard about your success with the hare, but this is a different kind of race entirely. 1.2361 0.06094 72 58 11 3
2613 You do you. 1.2361 0.06094 72 58 11 3
2614 Orientation week 1.2361 0.05414 72 56 15 1
2615 We'll be calling you 1.2361 0.05764 72 57 13 2
2616 I'm not sure the ergonomics will suit you.... 1.2360 0.04800 89 69 19 1
2617 I’ll need you to sign this liability waiver in case you land on your back. 1.2360 0.05541 89 72 13 4
2618 You'll need your vaccination certificate if you want to join the rat race! 1.2360 0.05059 89 70 17 2
2619 'But why not? they say speed does not matter, forward is forward' 1.2360 0.05541 89 72 13 4
2620 We're trying to teach them how to slow it down. 1.2358 0.04556 106 83 21 2
2621 Armor is against the rules. 1.2353 0.06327 68 55 10 3
2622 We're looking for someone steady. 1.2353 0.05198 85 67 16 2
2623 Have you tried our treadmill? 1.2353 0.05590 68 53 14 1
2624 It’s not as fast as you think. 1.2353 0.05182 68 52 16 0
2625 Do you think you’ll be able to thrive in an environment with this type of turnover rate? 1.2353 0.06327 68 55 10 3
2626 Well I ain't fast, but I'm steady 1.2353 0.06327 68 55 10 3
2627 This is Spin Class 2.0. Beginners is next door. 1.2353 0.04658 102 80 20 2
2628 For us, life has come full circle. Want a ride? 1.2353 0.05970 68 54 12 2
2629 Well you should have thought of that before telling the temp agency you beat a hare in a foot race. 1.2353 0.05198 85 67 16 2
2630 We’re looking for someone who has 10-15 years of experience and a master’s degree in a related field. 1.2353 0.05970 68 54 12 2
2631 I’m sorry, Sheldon, but as your trainer I think advanced spin is out of your wheelhouse. 1.2353 0.05952 85 70 10 5
2632 We really think you'd bring something unique to our team 1.2353 0.06327 68 55 10 3
2633 ‘You’re just not the right fit’ 1.2353 0.06183 85 71 8 6
2634 You’ll get tossed around a bit. Not sure if that shell will be a blessing or a curse. 1.2353 0.05428 102 84 12 6
2635 I see here on your CV that you beat a hare in a race. Well then, welcome aboard! 1.2347 0.05580 98 81 11 6
2636 What do you mean by we’re doing it wrong? 1.2347 0.05190 98 79 15 4
2637 We had to shell out to join the gym, and you will, too. 1.2346 0.05898 81 66 11 4
2638 AI says you don't match our profile." 1.2346 0.05898 81 66 11 4
2639 No dryer experience required. 1.2346 0.05898 81 66 11 4
2640 So you want a non-rotating one? 1.2346 0.06154 81 67 9 5
2641 Go ahead, try. It could be different. 1.2346 0.04737 81 62 19 0
2642 It says on your resume you've beaten a hare in a race....impressive. 1.2346 0.05630 81 65 13 3
2643 Well okay, but you won't like it in there. 1.2346 0.05630 81 65 13 3
2644 20 bucks. 1.2346 0.05630 81 65 13 3
2645 I’m sorry, sir, but I don’t see your name on the reservation sheet.” 1.2346 0.05349 81 64 15 2
2646 This is just a trial 1.2346 0.05349 81 64 15 2
2647 Regulars only. 1.2346 0.05349 81 64 15 2
2648 I'm sure your shell is stronger than a 'hard-shelled peanut M&M', but you still gotta sign this Release form buddy. 1.2346 0.05349 81 64 15 2
2649 We may need your help to slow down our WFH to office transition… 1.2346 0.05349 81 64 15 2
2650 No, I mean I can’t fit your shell in. 1.2346 0.05898 81 66 11 4
2651 Look, forget about speed. Basically, you're just here to make the others look good. 1.2344 0.06197 64 51 11 2
2652 It’s designed to take you out of your shell. 1.2344 0.06585 64 52 9 3
2653 Your resume said you've had a fabled racing career? 1.2344 0.06197 64 51 11 2
2654 I’m here for my 6:30 peloton ride 1.2344 0.07300 64 54 5 5
2655 We’re looking into shell technology. 1.2340 0.04644 94 73 20 1
2656 We are trusting you to slow down this hare-brained rat race. 1.2340 0.05332 94 76 14 4
2657 It's a sport, and nobody wins, and, yes, it's okay to be a spectator. 1.2340 0.04884 94 74 18 2
2658 In your CV you specified "running is one of my greatest passions". I think you lied. . 1.2340 0.05542 94 77 12 5
2659 That was yesterday.” 1.2338 0.05514 77 61 14 2
2660 I'm thinking the treadmill would be a better option for you. 1.2338 0.05514 77 61 14 2
2661 Sorry but you're too big for the wheel. 1.2338 0.05816 77 62 12 3
2662 But are you vaxxed? 1.2338 0.05195 77 60 16 1
2663 I don’t care what the letter says. This isn’t a Pilates class. 1.2338 0.05816 77 62 12 3
2664 We'll be closed by the time you get there. 1.2338 0.05195 77 60 16 1
2665 Slow flow is next hour. 1.2338 0.06102 77 63 10 4
2666 I'd like to go nowhere fast for a change. 1.2338 0.05816 77 62 12 3
2667 There is an opening, but, umm, leave your number and we'll get back to you. 1.2338 0.05195 77 60 16 1
2668 I'm sorry, but your resume mentions nothing of excessive wheel spinning experience. 1.2338 0.05195 77 60 16 1
2669 I think you might prefer the trampolines in the other room. 1.2338 0.05514 77 61 14 2
2670 We're just going to start you with cardio. 1.2338 0.06102 77 63 10 4
2671 Maybe you could try racing a Hare. 1.2338 0.06102 77 63 10 4
2672 Ah yes, herd immunity! welcome back to the covid response department 1.2338 0.05195 77 60 16 1
2673 I don’t want you to think that you’re here to reinvent the wheel. 1.2338 0.06376 77 64 8 5
2674 No, we're working on climate change, health care policy is down the hall 1.2338 0.05816 77 62 12 3
2675 So you had a remote job interview, right? 1.2338 0.06102 77 63 10 4
2676 I’m sorry, you’re qualifying time was too slow. 1.2333 0.05009 90 71 17 2
2677 Trust me this is better than Peloton. 1.2333 0.05708 90 74 11 5
2678 I'll be wheel with you. 1.2333 0.05485 90 73 13 4
2679 You do not have a chance. These are lab rats. Not hares. 1.2333 0.06451 60 48 10 2
2680 I don't think that slow and steady will work here. 1.2333 0.05009 90 71 17 2
2681 Listen pal, I’d only be taking your money… 1.2333 0.06451 60 48 10 2
2682 Zoom fatigue?! Welcome back! 1.2333 0.05485 90 73 13 4
2683 'The sign-up sheets were too far away' is not a valid excuse. 1.2333 0.05009 90 71 17 2
2684 Oh go on, try it. Come out of your shell. 1.2333 0.05009 90 71 17 2
2685 Your lucky, there was just a cancellation 1.2333 0.05009 90 71 17 2
2686 The thing is your CV says you can't handle being upsidedown 1.2333 0.05485 90 73 13 4
2687 I know you beat the hare, but that’s meaningless under the circumstances. 1.2329 0.06019 73 59 11 3
2688 Would you like to chase cheese, rabbit or eternal glory? 1.2329 0.06327 73 60 9 4
2689 Looks like your previous stress test was performed by my great-great-grandfather. 1.2329 0.05694 73 58 13 2
2690 I'm the placebo. 1.2329 0.05349 73 57 15 1
2691 And do you prefer payment in American or Swiss? 1.2329 0.05694 73 58 13 2
2692 I was told this is a shame-free workout facility. 1.2329 0.06019 73 59 11 3
2693 I see by your resume' you are 110 years old. Why don't you just enjoy your retirement? 1.2329 0.05694 73 58 13 2
2694 I don’t recommend this. The others will run rings around you. 1.2329 0.05694 73 58 13 2
2695 Sorry sir,but this is not a shell game. 1.2329 0.06019 73 59 11 3
2696 I'm so sorry, we're looking for 70 rpm, not wpm. 1.2329 0.06019 73 59 11 3
2697 That machine is a life changer. Ninety days ago they looked just like you 1.2329 0.05694 73 58 13 2
2698 So here’s the deal- you get in that thing and run around. That’s it. 1.2329 0.05694 73 58 13 2
2699 ‘Just a warning, once you get on, you’ll never get off, until you die of course’ 1.2329 0.06019 73 59 11 3
2700 So, you’re saying you identify as a rat... 1.2329 0.06019 73 59 11 3
2701 Nothing that you've done before has prepared you for this. 1.2326 0.05145 86 68 16 2
2702 Look, the board just doesn't see you as a good fit for this building. 1.2326 0.05652 86 70 12 4
2703 Yeh,well it’s more expensive for you because you’d be going real slow so you”d last longer and you’d be sure to win the grand prize… These little twits go real fast but they die of exhaustion after ten minutes, tops.. 1.2326 0.05889 86 71 10 5
2704 Congratulations! You’re our first hire since the lab’s new DEI policy. 1.2326 0.06117 86 72 8 6
2705 I’m the new calibration engineer 1.2326 0.05145 86 68 16 2
2706 Look…Leo, is it? I know my pizza video went viral, but I am not your sensei. Let me work out in peace. 1.2326 0.05404 86 69 14 3
2707 I think you'll be a great team leader. Show them what slow and steady is all about. 1.2326 0.04582 86 66 20 0
2708 There's no escaping the rat race my friend. 1.2326 0.05889 86 71 10 5
2709 So it says here your references include The Hare. 1.2326 0.05404 86 69 14 3
2710 Will you need a handicap? 1.2323 0.05142 99 80 15 4
2711 Call me if you get stuck. 1.2323 0.05339 99 81 13