Contest #759


Cartoon

759

The winning captions

These captions are chosen by The New Yorker.

  1. “They call it kitsch and release.”
  2. “I guess it could be worse. Larry got breaded and fried.”
  3. “I’m a throwback.”


Name Value
Submission deadline 2021-06-13T22:12:00.000Z
Voting started -
Voting ended 2021-06-27T22:15:00.000Z
Finalists announced 2021-06-21T22:15:00.000Z
Magazine(s) announcing finalists issued June 28, 2021
Number of captions 9411
Number of responses 779033
Number of participants -


Dashboard

In this table, the "mean" means the empirically measured average funniness score when the "unfunny", "somewhat funny" and "funny" receive a funniness score of 1, 2, 3 respectively. "Precison" is the standard error of the mean, the standard deviation of the mean estimate. With that, a caption with an empirical mean μ and precision σ has true mean in the range [μ - 2σ, μ + 2σ] with 95% probability by the 68-95-99.7 rule assuming the responses are indepedent and identically distributed.

Rank Caption Mean Precision Total votes "Unfunny" votes "Somewhat funny" votes "Funny" votes
0 They call it kitsch-and-release. 1.7967 0.01213 4732 2225 1244 1263
1 Well, well, well. If it isn't the one who got away. 1.7956 0.01466 2984 1324 946 714
2 If Bob calls and offers you a position on the board — don’t take it. 1.7901 0.01864 1901 869 562 470
3 And if you think the singing part is bad, just wait til I tell you where the batteries go. 1.7716 0.01936 1817 873 486 458
4 Well if it isn't the one that got away. 1.7713 0.01663 2339 1085 704 550
5 No, Jerry, I did not have a good weekend. 1.7600 0.01670 2246 1037 711 498
6 Just remember: If it looks that good, there’s probably a string attached. 1.7470 0.01765 1980 924 633 423
7 You think this is bad, you should'a seen what he did to the moose. 1.7456 0.01729 2142 1027 633 482
8 There are two things certain in life: death and taxidermy. 1.7405 0.01681 2343 1158 635 550
9 In hindsight, an earthworm in the middle of a river was pretty suspicious. 1.7357 0.01716 2070 976 665 429
10 Oh, they give you a plaque all right, but there’s a catch. 1.7306 0.01731 1986 930 661 395
11 The worm was delicious, but there was a string attached. 1.7304 0.01740 2036 976 633 427
12 And to add insult to injury, they didn't get my good side. 1.7187 0.01939 1596 766 513 317
13 Honestly, I’m just happy this isn’t a cutting board 1.7096 0.02081 1412 696 430 286
14 Eat that worm, you said! What's the worst that could happen? 1.7061 0.02081 1354 654 444 256
15 Can you recommend a good plaque remover? 1.7046 0.02188 1317 667 372 278
16 I'm a throwback 1.7009 0.02222 1257 634 365 258
17 I never should have opened my big mouth. 1.7002 0.02208 1194 580 392 222
18 And another thing. Stop referring to me as your trophy wife. 1.6980 0.02269 1212 619 342 251
19 They said it was a permanent position, and I fell for it! 1.6966 0.02264 1190 600 352 238
20 When I asked you to mount me, I had something else entirely in mind. 1.6964 0.02338 1166 602 316 248
21 A lot can happen between catch and release, my friend. 1.6936 0.02226 1139 549 390 200
22 Whatever you do,stay in school. 1.6925 0.02292 1122 556 355 211
23 ... and to top it all off, this isn't even my best side! 1.6923 0.02267 1131 556 367 208
24 Take my advice, kid. Stay in school. 1.6906 0.02365 1073 539 327 207
25 Of course I feel mounting frustration! 1.6902 0.02391 1075 548 312 215
26 And stop referring to me as your trophy wife 1.6860 0.02468 1032 537 282 213
27 I'm tired of being your trophy wife, Ken." 1.6837 0.02478 999 514 287 198
28 And to think I was flattered when they asked me to be “on the board”. 1.6823 0.02489 982 504 286 192
29 Does it look like I had a good day? 1.6821 0.02472 972 492 297 183
30 On the bright side, it's not a cutting board. 1.6806 0.02557 886 443 283 160
31 It's not the wooden plaque that bothers me. It's the banjo music that plays every time I speak. 1.6794 0.02563 945 493 262 190
32 Fine, but clearly someone thinks I'm a good catch! 1.6753 0.02497 890 438 303 149
33 They said they’d be delighted to have me on board. 1.6735 0.02621 876 453 256 167
34 I thought the classified ad said tax attorney, not taxidermy. 1.6717 0.02678 862 454 237 171
35 My advice? Keep your big mouth shut. 1.6706 0.02568 850 424 282 144
36 Go ahead” you said “what’s the worst that could happen. 1.6703 0.02600 837 420 273 144
37 You were right, getting a position on the board is not all I dreamed it would be… 1.6691 0.02682 831 431 244 156
38 Not what I had in mind when I said you could mount me. 1.6690 0.02706 840 443 232 165
39 Eat the worm!" you said! "What could go wrong!" you said 1.6618 0.02815 757 398 217 142
40 First place is not what you think. 1.6604 0.02789 745 385 228 132
41 Told you I was framed! 1.6600 0.02831 750 396 213 141
42 At least someone thinks I’m a keeper! 1.6586 0.02683 741 367 260 114
43 Never let them know you can sing, okay? Just don't. 1.6574 0.02855 718 375 214 129
44 Please take a look and let me know if they at least spelled my name right. 1.6558 0.02840 706 364 221 121
45 I should have questioned the offer to sit on their board. 1.6544 0.02901 709 376 202 131
46 Go for the worm," you said. "It will be okay," you said 1.6518 0.02920 672 350 206 116
47 Someone evidently thinks I am a great catch. 1.6514 0.02790 654 320 242 92
48 Have the worm appetizer you said, it's delicious you said. 1.6507 0.03003 670 360 184 126
49 And you said I would never mount to anything.. 1.6483 0.02948 654 341 202 111
50 It's not a great job, but it's better than being canned. 1.6474 0.02905 641 326 215 100
51 Hey, I was quite the catch in my day. 1.6471 0.02871 646 326 222 98
52 I'd stay for lunch, but I'm stuffed 1.6471 0.02954 646 336 202 108
53 You're looking at the price of immortality, pal. 1.6434 0.02970 631 328 200 103
54 Well, you said you wanted a trophy wife. 1.6430 0.02980 633 331 197 105
55 My dentist said getting rid of the plaque is going to be a challenge. 1.6425 0.03061 621 331 181 109
56 I'm having trouble seeing more than one side of this situation. 1.6420 0.03013 595 305 198 92
57 At first I was thrilled to hear I was a prize-winning catch 1.6399 0.02921 597 298 216 83
58 I’m tired of being called your trophy wife. 1.6399 0.03116 597 319 174 104
59 Don’t just float there. Get a screwdriver. 1.6395 0.03127 588 313 174 101
60 Fish of the Year... yeah, what an honor. 1.6391 0.02994 593 303 201 89
61 This is the last time I join a board. 1.6390 0.03091 590 311 181 98
62 This is not even my good side! 1.6387 0.02968 595 302 206 87
63 Larry, I don't want to be your trophy wife anymore. 1.6382 0.03146 586 314 170 102
64 This is what happens when you open your big mouth. 1.6372 0.03075 576 299 187 90
65 I guess it could be worse. Larry got breaded and fried. 1.6356 0.03179 568 304 167 97
66 They must have misunderstood when I asked for a tax attorney. 1.6349 0.03328 567 319 136 112
67 And to top it off, they spelled my name wrong. 1.6343 0.03936 350 182 114 54
68 You said you wanted a Trophy Wife, didn't you? 1.6339 0.03177 560 298 169 93
69 See, this is what happens if you don’t stay in school! 1.6333 0.03131 559 293 178 88
70 And you said, “Don’t worry, most of time, they throw you back. 1.6325 0.03122 547 283 182 82
71 I dropped out of school too, and look where it got me. 1.6315 0.03033 540 270 199 71
72 I fell for a phishing scam. 1.6309 0.03274 531 285 157 89
73 Catch and release my ass. 1.6303 0.03487 476 258 136 82
74 Take my advice. Stay in school. 1.6297 0.03204 532 280 169 83
75 Then they asked me if I would serve on the board. 1.6281 0.03285 527 284 155 88
76 And, then, when you make your wish, be specific. Very specific. 1.6280 0.03331 535 295 144 96
77 Me and my big mouth. 1.6267 0.03412 450 233 152 65
78 … and then, after going through all of that, his wife says, “You’re not keeping that thing in our house!” 1.6264 0.03420 522 293 131 98
79 I was "quite a catch" and look at me now. 1.6240 0.03257 508 268 163 77
80 Stop staring and get me a screwdriver! 1.6235 0.03324 502 271 150 81
81 Trophy wife? What makes you say that? 1.6223 0.03414 503 278 137 88
82 Typical. We hooked up, she strung me along, and I got board. 1.6220 0.03407 500 275 139 86
83 Take it from me - stay in school." 1.6204 0.03353 490 263 150 77
84 You wanted a trophy wife! Deal with it! 1.6197 0.03353 497 269 148 80
85 I guess this is what I get for opening my big mouth. 1.6190 0.03302 483 254 159 70
86 They promised me a plaque at my retirement party. 1.6180 0.03258 479 248 166 65
87 Fishermen are all the same. They feed you a good line, mount you, and leave you hanging. 1.6176 0.03741 421 235 112 74
88 Listen, kid. Stay in school. 1.6174 0.03752 413 229 113 71
89 Then he had the nerve to call me his trophy wife. 1.6171 0.03412 491 270 139 82
90 I’m telling you, it was classic bait and switch! 1.6156 0.03497 463 254 133 76
91 It was this or a plate. 1.6154 0.03221 468 238 172 58
92 Just stay in school, OK? 1.6142 0.03397 464 248 147 69
93 « And to top it all off, that’s my bad side” 1.6135 0.03376 458 242 151 65
94 When he asked if he could mount me, I misunderstood. 1.6116 0.03564 448 248 126 74
95 So…. remember when i saw that shiny thing 1.6107 0.03585 447 249 123 75
96 Stay in school…..I fell for the online learning 1.6100 0.03610 441 246 121 74
97 The irony is that I had just hosted a webinar on how to avoid phishing scams that use clickbait. 1.6098 0.03670 451 259 109 83
98 I’m not fully retired, I still sit on the board. 1.6098 0.03491 451 246 135 70
99 You should have seen him. He must have been six feet tall and 250 pounds. 1.6096 0.03630 438 245 119 74
100 Yes. To state the obvious, my problems HAVE mounted. 1.6091 0.03632 440 247 118 75
101 Whatever you do, don't let anyone know you can sing. 1.6090 0.03543 445 245 129 71
102 Not farmed. Framed. 1.6087 0.03535 437 238 132 67
103 Well you wanted a trophy wife. 1.6085 0.03587 447 250 122 75
104 They just said it was gonna be an Awards Dinner 1.6069 0.03579 435 240 126 69
105 Yeah, me and my big mouth... 1.6056 0.03530 431 234 133 64
106 I should have listened to you when you told me to keep my mouth shut 1.6056 0.03606 431 239 123 69
107 I know it LOOKS like a platter, but it's an award, OK? 1.6043 0.03728 422 240 109 73
108 That is my current background for Zoom meetings. 1.6042 0.03648 427 239 118 70
109 It's this job that pays for that fancy private school of yours. 1.6038 0.03594 419 229 127 63
110 It gets worse. Now everyone knows my weight. 1.6019 0.03707 412 231 114 67
111 I don’t think Bob fully understands Catch and Release. 1.6000 0.03593 405 219 129 57
112 No, Tom. I can’t look on the bright side. 1.6000 0.03775 405 230 107 68
113 When I was asked to serve on the board this is not what I had in mind. 1.5964 0.03672 394 216 121 57
114 Well yes, I guess I am "well-hung" for a fish. 1.5964 0.03849 389 222 102 65
115 You know how it is. Me and my big mouth 1.5959 0.03782 391 220 109 62
116 And on top of all that, my right side is my better side for photographs. 1.5954 0.03717 388 214 117 57
117 I’ve pretty much adjusted except for right turns. 1.5953 0.03755 383 212 114 57
118 Dentist said I have a severe plaque problem. 1.5948 0.03829 385 218 105 62
119 Stop asking me how my retirement is going. How does it look like it's going 1.5942 0.03726 382 210 117 55
120 Take the bait, you said. Live a little, try something new, you said. 1.5942 0.03864 345 190 107 48
121 You were the one who said he wanted a trophy wife. 1.5938 0.03781 389 219 109 61
122 Just keep your mouth shut and you'll be fine. 1.5932 0.03735 381 210 116 55
123 Stay in school, don't get hooked like me. 1.5929 0.03873 366 205 105 56
124 You have to learn to keep your mouth shut. 1.5908 0.03914 347 192 105 50
125 Stop gawking and go find a screwdriver" 1.5903 0.03890 371 211 101 59
126 You never heard of planked salmon? 1.5886 0.03750 367 201 116 50
127 Lunch? No thanks, I'm stuffed! 1.5886 0.03848 367 206 106 55
128 If it looks like a worm, acts like a worm, it isn't a worm. 1.5884 0.03769 362 198 115 49
129 If you push that button one more time… 1.5884 0.03881 379 218 99 62
130 Don't make the same mistake: stay in school! 1.5879 0.03950 364 209 96 59
131 Also son, avoid worms at all cost! 1.5877 0.03835 359 199 109 51
132 And then they had the nerve to spell my name wrong. 1.5871 0.03880 356 199 105 52
133 Then they make you sing the same damn song over and over! 1.5871 0.03981 356 204 95 57
134 Death and taxidermy. Nothing else is certain. 1.5866 0.03720 358 193 120 45
135 And I believed him, hook, line, and sinker. 1.5863 0.03826 365 204 108 53
136 Does this look like catch and release to you? 1.5854 0.03791 357 196 113 48
137 It was a classic bait and switch. 1.5843 0.03943 356 203 98 55
138 No I don't want to go out for dinner, I'm stuffed. 1.5840 0.03923 363 208 98 57
139 Stop pressing the button. 1.5833 0.04035 348 201 91 56
140 You say to yourself, "one little nibble won't hurt, and then, the next thing you know, you're hooked !" 1.5819 0.04235 342 206 73 63
141 I tell you, I was framed! 1.5799 0.04173 338 200 80 58
142 Then he said - I prefer fish who don’t get caught.” 1.5786 0.04267 337 204 71 62
143 Some bad things can happen between catch and release. 1.5786 0.04055 337 194 91 52
144 Well, Gerald? Didn't you always want a trophy wife? 1.5780 0.03844 346 192 108 46
145 And she then had the gall to call me a trophy wife! 1.5778 0.04106 334 194 87 53
146 I told them, ‘take me to the river, put me in the water.’ I thought ‘remove me from the board’ was implied. 1.5764 0.04431 288 168 74 46
147 I opened my big mouth. 1.5745 0.04064 322 183 93 46
148 I didn’t know how else to prove to you that I’m a catch, Marlene! 1.5741 0.04021 324 183 96 45
149 The guy who caught me was at least 9' tall. 1.5740 0.04353 331 204 64 63
150 This is not the seafood platter I had in mind. 1.5737 0.04045 319 180 95 44
151 Remember when you told me I was a good catch? 1.5736 0.03984 333 189 97 47
152 So I clicked "virtual background", and now I can't figure out how to turn it off! 1.5732 0.04145 328 192 84 52
153 I’m getting really tired of being seen as your trophy wife. 1.5731 0.03949 349 201 96 52
154 Yeah, I’m back. Apparently, I didn’t spark joy. 1.5728 0.04173 316 183 85 48
155 Screw you. I don't bring up every mistake you made. 1.5728 0.04124 316 181 89 46
156 Can you tell me - am I clear on the right? 1.5723 0.03982 318 177 100 41
157 Take it from me, don't become a trophy wife! 1.5714 0.04184 315 183 84 48
158 Admit it … I'm just your trophy wife. 1.5705 0.04240 312 183 80 49
159 Your friends dismiss me as a trophy wife. 1.5704 0.04290 291 167 82 42
160 Oh, sure -- I fell for it, hook, line, and sinker...! 1.5701 0.04100 321 185 89 47
161 It was a phishing expedition and I fell for it hook, line, and sinker. 1.5701 0.03971 314 174 101 39
162 I was framed, I'm telling ya! 1.5700 0.04244 300 173 83 44
163 They waterboarded me! 1.5687 0.04157 313 181 86 46
164 Yes the rumours are true, I'm very well hung 1.5686 0.04405 306 185 68 53
165 Work on my dismount? Clever. 1.5682 0.04108 308 175 91 42
166 Really? Not even a 'Look out for the hook Carl'? 1.5682 0.04030 308 172 97 39
167 Doc said I got a bad case of plaque 1.5668 0.04145 307 176 88 43
168 Do you know a good dentist that can remove this plaque? 1.5667 0.04323 300 177 76 47
169 If they mention onboarding in the job interview, swim away. 1.5658 0.04478 304 187 62 55
170 They said if I joined they'd give me a plaque. 1.5649 0.04211 308 180 82 46
171 Next time, YOU take the bait 1.5649 0.04248 285 162 85 38
172 Of course it makes it harder to swim! 1.5642 0.04465 257 146 77 34
173 No, it's not a fish story; it's more of a cautionary tale. 1.5642 0.04183 296 169 87 40
174 Don't play coy, I knew you only wanted a trophy husband all along. 1.5619 0.04179 299 172 86 41
175 I went to boarding school! 1.5618 0.04388 283 166 75 42
176 Don't take the bait Steve. Trust me. 1.5608 0.04017 296 164 98 34
177 Yeah, well I forgot the safe word, ok? 1.5608 0.04157 296 169 88 39
178 Rule number one: Don't get caught. 1.5606 0.04455 289 174 68 47
179 My advice: Stay In School ! 1.5587 0.04414 281 166 73 42
180 Stay in school! Don't get hooked and end up like me. 1.5586 0.04224 290 167 84 39
181 I opened my big mouth just once and now look at me. 1.5571 0.04189 280 158 88 34
182 Don't be like me. Stay in school! 1.5567 0.04374 282 166 75 41
183 Listen,Linda I’ve been framed. 1.5567 0.04286 282 163 81 38
184 ""It looks good" she said, "Have a nibble" she said. 1.5567 0.03949 282 152 103 27
185 This wasn’t what I had in mind when you said “trophy wife.” 1.5563 0.04264 284 164 82 38
186 It’s orthopedic, and I’ll ask you not to stare, thank you very much. 1.5559 0.04212 286 164 85 37
187 They told me it was an honor! 1.5556 0.04045 279 153 97 29
188 And it's my bad side, too. 1.5547 0.04290 274 157 82 35
189 Do not fall for their lines! 1.5547 0.04443 274 162 72 40
190 I can't help but think this would not have happened to a small-mouthed bass. 1.5544 0.04195 285 163 86 36
191 I’ve been framed! 1.5536 0.04486 280 169 67 44
192 This is what happens when you can’t keep your mouth shut! 1.5536 0.04251 280 161 83 36
193 It was a nightmare: plaid furniture, screaming children, and no cable tv! 1.5535 0.04512 271 162 68 41
194 There are worse things than getting eaten. 1.5522 0.04234 268 151 86 31
195 And whatever you do, DO NOT take the bait. 1.5519 0.04434 270 159 73 38
196 She showed up wearing fishnets and heels and when I woke up, my wallet was missing. 1.5515 0.04500 272 163 68 41
197 I was like a fish out of water after the merger, but they offered me a spot on the board. 1.5506 0.04658 267 164 59 44
198 …then I swallowed it, hook, line and sinker. Now look at me! 1.5498 0.04453 271 161 71 39
199 I thought spawning would be easy once I was mounted. 1.5465 0.04627 258 156 63 39
200 I didn’t realize this is what he meant by a “trophy wife”! 1.5465 0.04627 258 156 63 39
201 Yeah, I had a little work done. So what?! 1.5462 0.04468 260 153 72 35
202 First place isn’t all it’s cracked up to be! 1.5462 0.04663 260 159 60 41
203 When I asked you to mount me this is not what I had in mind. 1.5455 0.04608 264 161 62 41
204 Apparently mounting isn’t a euphemism for spawning. Who knew? 1.5451 0.04392 266 156 75 35
205 This is why you stay in school. 1.5447 0.04575 257 154 66 37
206 It's my new Zoom background. Whatdya think? 1.5447 0.04406 257 149 76 32
207 I didn’t climb off that wall and swim all this way to see you missing school! 1.5444 0.04581 259 156 65 38
208 Trust me, stay in school! 1.5444 0.04614 259 157 63 39
209 Next time, I get to pick where we eat 1.5433 0.04584 254 152 66 36
210 This is not what I had in mind when I said I wanted to be your trophy wife. 1.5433 0.05046 208 124 55 29
211 Not true! I was framed. 1.5430 0.04420 256 149 75 32
212 And to top it all off, they spelled my name wrong. 1.5430 0.04385 256 148 77 31
213 I refused to be a trophy wife, so I left him. 1.5423 0.04790 260 164 51 45
214 Be ambitious, you said. Take your place on the Board, you said. 1.5422 0.04655 249 150 63 36
215 They told me I was getting a plaque. Talk about bait and switch. 1.5418 0.04862 251 158 50 43
216 He caught a bigger one. 1.5417 0.04566 240 140 70 30
217 I told you I was a catch. 1.5412 0.04328 255 146 80 29
218 I'm just not flexible enough to be in a relationship right now. 1.5410 0.04472 244 141 74 29
219 They don’t seem to get the whole catch and release concept. 1.5407 0.04445 246 142 75 29
220 I told you, I got hung up at work. 1.5403 0.04455 248 144 74 30
221 Go see what’s up there,” you said 1.5403 0.04670 248 150 62 36
222 Yes, I was a good catch! 1.5400 0.04501 250 147 71 32
223 Don’t let them know you can sing. 1.5400 0.04572 250 149 67 34
224 This is how you stay out of the frying pan and get onto the fireplace. 1.5400 0.04572 250 149 67 34
225 Mom always told me I'd never mount to anything. 1.5397 0.04509 252 149 70 33
226 And they got my name wrong. 1.5391 0.04487 243 141 73 29
227 My dentist says it's a plaque problem. 1.5391 0.04562 243 143 69 31
228 You think YOU had a bad day! 1.5391 0.04524 256 153 68 35
229 What happened? I should have come in second. That’s what happened. 1.5388 0.04607 245 146 66 33
230 This isn’t exactly what I imagined when they promised me a seat on the board... 1.5388 0.04643 245 147 64 34
231 And if they offer you a plaque, turn it down! 1.5385 0.04579 247 147 67 33
232 I should have asked for the gold watch instead of the plaque. 1.5385 0.04755 247 152 57 38
233 No, I am not fishing for compliments! It’s obvious I’m well-hung. 1.5372 0.04760 242 148 58 36
234 ‘…nope, just the one song’ 1.5369 0.04359 244 139 79 26
235 Oh, yeah. Like you've never bought into some stupid scam hook, line, and sinker. 1.5367 0.04556 218 123 73 22
236 I made my getaway when the basement flooded. 1.5366 0.04484 246 144 72 30
237 I don’t see you winning any trophies! 1.5363 0.04457 248 145 73 30
238 No no no. The worst part was the rejection! Have you ever been re-gifted? 1.5360 0.04502 250 148 70 32
239 I resent being referred to as a trophy wife. 1.5359 0.04650 237 141 65 31
240 This isn’t what I had in mind when I asked you to mount me! 1.5316 0.04803 237 146 56 35
241 I was just a trophy wife. 1.5315 0.04519 254 153 67 34
242 Sorry I’m late, I got hung up. 1.5314 0.04545 239 141 69 29
243 So look who's the trophy spouse now! 1.5314 0.04545 239 141 69 29
244 No, Susan. Things have not been good with me. 1.5307 0.04871 228 140 55 33
245 But you said you wanted a trophy wife 1.5303 0.04518 264 162 64 38
246 No, I don't know any other songs! 1.5302 0.04608 232 137 67 28
247 You think this is bad, you should’ve seen the moose.” 1.5302 0.04688 232 139 63 30
248 He said he wanted me to be his trophy wife ! 1.5289 0.04840 225 137 57 31
249 'What an interesting worm' , you said! 'Why don't you try it?', you said! 1.5289 0.04587 225 131 69 25
250 What do you mean, where have I been? 1.5287 0.04588 244 147 65 32
251 This wasn't what I meant when I asked you to mount me. 1.5286 0.04888 227 140 54 33
252 You think it’s easy being a trophy wife? 1.5284 0.04775 229 139 59 31
253 They could’ve at least got my good side. 1.5277 0.04604 235 140 66 29
254 Yeah, well the modeling career didn’t work out the way I had hoped. 1.5273 0.04575 220 127 70 23
255 At least I’m a keeper! 1.5270 0.04454 222 126 75 21
256 take the bait," you said..."what could go wrong," you said.. 1.5265 0.04783 226 137 59 30
257 No, Herman, I don't want to be your trophy wife. 1.5261 0.04720 230 139 61 30
258 So, I had a little work done. Who hasn't? 1.5250 0.04908 200 118 59 23
259 Dad always said you'd never mount to anything. 1.5249 0.04560 221 128 70 23
260 It just so happens that I come from a long line of trophy fish. 1.5249 0.04694 221 131 64 26
261 It was either this or a tank in a pediatrician’s office 1.5249 0.04605 221 129 68 24
262 Look, I was offered a seat on the board. What would you do? 1.5247 0.04956 223 139 51 33
263 Don’t! Under any circumstances, don’t respond to an add from Cabela’s 1.5240 0.04613 229 136 66 27
264 And to top it off, it wasn’t even a real worm 1.5229 0.04787 218 131 60 27
265 They even misspelled my name 1.5227 0.04530 220 127 71 22
266 The plaque isn’t bad, it’s the plate you want to stay off of. 1.5225 0.04546 222 129 70 23
267 Recognition isn’t all its made out to be 1.5223 0.04427 224 128 75 21
268 I prefer the term 'previously caught.' 1.5216 0.04403 232 134 75 23
269 Don't you dare touch that 'on' switch 1.5211 0.04871 213 129 57 27
270 Don't take the bait. 1.5205 0.04943 219 136 52 31
271 And another thing, I'm sick of you treating me like I'm just some trophy wife! 1.5205 0.04858 219 134 56 29
272 Can you believe this? Doctor says I gotta swim like this for the next six weeks! 1.5205 0.04637 219 132 62 25
273 I don't care what the other fish say Sam, I tell ya I was "framed!" 1.5200 0.04589 225 133 67 25
274 And then he finds a bigger, younger fish, and suddenly I’m not good enough 1.5190 0.04831 210 126 59 25
275 Better the wall than a table! 1.5185 0.04776 216 130 60 26
276 In hindsight, not my smartest career move 1.5182 0.04667 220 131 64 25
277 Stay in school! 1.5180 0.04679 222 133 63 26
278 It’s better than being a blue plate special 1.5179 0.04561 224 132 68 24
279 ‘Bite the shiny thing,’ you said. ‘It’ll be fun,’ you said. 1.5166 0.04814 211 127 59 25
280 Obviously I am the prize catch! 1.5163 0.04655 215 127 65 23
281 And in closing, there are two things that are certain in life…Death and Taxidermy… 1.5161 0.04715 217 130 62 25
282 Never let them know you can sing. 1.5160 0.04771 219 133 59 27
283 This is not my best side. 1.5144 0.04961 208 128 53 27
284 Thank God I’m left-handed. 1.5144 0.04671 208 122 65 21
285 It's called Planking. 1.5144 0.05054 208 130 49 29
286 I always wanted to be a trophy wife. 1.5142 0.04844 212 129 57 26
287 See if they spelled my name right. 1.5142 0.04844 212 129 57 26
288 And I don't appreciate being called your trophy wife! 1.5139 0.05082 216 138 45 33
289 Don’t end up like me, stay in school kid. 1.5139 0.04731 216 130 61 25
290 It’s obvious, I’ve been framed! 1.5122 0.04721 205 121 63 21
291 Laugh now, but some day, the whole world will hear my song. 1.5122 0.04721 205 121 63 21
292 It’s called “planking” and I feel terrific. 1.5112 0.04621 223 134 64 25
293 At least he threw me back. 1.5101 0.04681 198 115 65 18
294 I never signed up to be a trophy wife. 1.5101 0.05249 198 126 43 29
295 Yeah, I got waterboarded. 1.5101 0.05200 198 125 45 28
296 No, Jerry. I did not have a good vacation! 1.5100 0.05160 200 126 46 28
297 You promised not to say, "I told you so." 1.5099 0.05024 202 125 51 26
298 It was this or Sashimi. 1.5099 0.04824 202 121 59 22
299 I hate retirement. 1.5098 0.04987 204 126 52 26
300 I am so over being your trophy wife! 1.5098 0.05130 204 129 46 29
301 The worst part is that they didn't get my best side. 1.5097 0.04998 206 128 51 27
302 Gives a whole new meaning to catch and release. 1.5077 0.05057 195 120 51 24
303 Listen, I got away - that's what matters. 1.5077 0.04562 195 111 69 15
304 He caught me. They divorced. She tossed me. I’m back. 1.5077 0.05160 195 122 47 26
305 Yes, I’m here to see the hygienist for some plaque removal. 1.5077 0.05211 195 123 45 27
306 I hate it when people call me his trophy wife 1.5077 0.05109 195 121 49 25
307 Look at me. I've got a board-level position but I'm still not satisfied. 1.5075 0.04878 199 120 57 22
308 You were angling for a trophy husband. Well, you got a trophy husband. 1.5074 0.05054 203 127 49 27
309 I had a totally different impression when she said she wanted to mount me.... 1.5072 0.04980 207 129 51 27
310 You didn't want someone to swim through life with you - you wanted a trophy wife! 1.5070 0.04873 213 132 54 27
311 Stay in school, kid. Stay in school. 1.5070 0.05052 213 136 46 31
312 I told you fish oil doesn’t protect against plaque! 1.5053 0.05103 190 117 50 23
313 It was technically a catch and release but they sure took their time with it. 1.5052 0.04954 192 116 55 21
314 Hey, it wasn't me! I was framed. 1.5052 0.05024 194 119 52 23
315 I should have kept my mouth shut. 1.5052 0.05024 194 119 52 23
316 Eat the delicious worm, you said! 1.5051 0.05089 196 122 49 25
317 It was my big mouth that got me into all this. 1.5051 0.04933 196 121 52 23
318 You never heard of planking? 1.5051 0.04985 196 120 53 23
319 I'm here to tell you, it's not so great being a trophy wife. 1.5051 0.04948 198 121 54 23
320 See what happens when you don't stay in school. 1.5051 0.04948 198 121 54 23
321 This is what happens if you don’t stay in school. 1.5051 0.04843 198 119 58 21
322 The worst part is the singing. 1.5050 0.05024 202 126 50 26
323 Admit it, I’m just a trophy wife to you! 1.5049 0.04789 204 123 59 22
324 This is NOT what I meant when I asked you to mount me. 1.5049 0.04998 206 129 50 27
325 My mother always said I was a prize. 1.5027 0.05051 187 114 52 21
326 Don’t be a fool. Stay in school. 1.5026 0.04973 191 116 54 21
327 Never bite anything shiny! 1.5026 0.05201 193 122 45 26
328 I've become attached to it. 1.5026 0.04935 193 117 55 21
329 So, you're are the one who got away! 1.5026 0.04951 195 119 54 22
330 That’s what I get for opening my big mouth! 1.5024 0.04822 205 125 57 23
331 Bad things happen when you don't stay in school, kid. 1.5022 0.04959 223 144 46 33
332 From WalMart to a Christmas gift to a re-gift to a garage sale only to wind up right where I started. I guess it's the circle of life. 1.5000 0.04992 190 116 53 21
333 What, and leave show business!!?? 1.5000 0.05376 192 125 38 29
334 No, as a matter of fact I didn't have a nice weekend. 1.5000 0.05077 194 121 49 24
335 So I told him I'm not just some trophy wife. 1.5000 0.04962 200 124 52 24
336 Turns out,your mounting concerns were warranted. 1.5000 0.05157 190 119 47 24
337 First they hooked me in - then they framed me. 1.5000 0.04862 194 117 57 20
338 They'll promise you a place at the table. Don't take the bait. 1.5000 0.04896 186 111 57 18
339 Where do you THINK I’ve been, Janet?! 1.5000 0.05063 192 119 50 23
340 You said I’d never amount to anything. Well, look who’s mounted to something now? 1.5000 0.04899 192 116 56 20
341 Never ever take the bait. 1.4976 0.04639 207 124 63 20
342 I was a fish out of water. He wanted a trophy wife. Things got out of hand. 1.4974 0.05149 193 122 46 25
343 I chose fame 1.4974 0.05043 193 120 50 23
344 This is where my Big Mouth got me. 1.4974 0.04880 193 117 56 20
345 You said you wanted a trophy wife, well, now you have one. 1.4974 0.05295 191 123 41 27
346 The most humiliating part was the twenty extra pounds they put on the inscription. 1.4974 0.05137 191 120 47 24
347 Beware of the fly that looks too good, that's all I'm saying. 1.4974 0.04840 189 113 58 18
348 I was framed, I tell ya. 1.4974 0.05232 189 120 44 25
349 Think of me as a trophy wife! 1.4973 0.05108 187 116 49 22
350 ...and if it couldn’t get any worse...I can’t stop singing either! 1.4973 0.04916 185 111 56 18
351 What am I, your trophy wife? 1.4972 0.05350 181 115 42 24
352 I spend 10 years on the wall and the new spouse has him throw me away after 10 minutes. 1.4972 0.05382 177 112 42 23
353 Don't be too anxious to get on the Company Board. It has its limitations. 1.4948 0.04729 192 117 57 18
354 It has its downsides, but I'm practically immortal now. 1.4947 0.05031 188 116 51 21
355 Death and Taxidermy 1.4947 0.04974 188 115 53 20
356 Then his vegan wife came home and insisted he throw me back. 1.4946 0.05227 184 116 45 23
357 I got sent to boarding school. 1.4945 0.05034 182 111 52 19
358 On the other hand, I'll look young forever. 1.4945 0.04850 182 108 58 16
359 At least they captured my good side. 1.4944 0.05014 180 109 53 18
360 Let's just say there was a tiny gap between 'Catch' and 'Release' and leave it at that. 1.4944 0.05240 178 111 46 21
361 My understanding of "catch and release" was entirely different. 1.4944 0.05117 178 109 50 19
362 Then I said, "Take the hook out and I'll do anything you ask." 1.4944 0.05240 178 111 46 21
363 It was either this or have to listen to that big mouth bass on the wall next to me! 1.4921 0.04804 191 115 58 18
364 As if hooks aren’t humiliating enough 1.4921 0.04898 189 115 55 19
365 Here's a little song I wrote... 1.4921 0.04840 189 114 57 18
366 I made the mistake of telling Barb I wanted to be a trophy husband. 1.4921 0.05067 189 118 49 22
367 Now you see what happens when you drop out of school. 1.4918 0.05191 183 115 46 22
368 I don't think he really understood how 'catch and release' is supposed to work. 1.4915 0.05322 177 112 43 22
369 I’ll never say ‘I’m bored stiff’ again. 1.4915 0.05382 177 113 41 23
370 I have a bad back. 1.4915 0.05200 177 110 47 20
371 Everyone thinks it's easy to be a trophy wife. 1.4915 0.05200 177 110 47 20
372 And then she asked me if I wanted to get nailed. 1.4915 0.04947 177 106 55 16
373 Hangin' in there. And you? 1.4914 0.04786 175 102 60 13
374 Son, you either have to win awards or be an award, otherwise you're just another fish in the sea. 1.4914 0.05181 175 108 48 19
375 See; Pop was wrong; he said I’d never ‘mount to a damn thing. 1.4894 0.04974 188 116 52 20
376 On top of all that they expect you to sing on demand. 1.4890 0.05094 182 113 49 20
377 I knew from the beginning I was a trophy wife, but this has gone too far. 1.4889 0.05136 180 112 48 20
378 Either I’m a trophy wife or I make dinner. You don’t get to have it both ways. 1.4888 0.05359 178 114 41 23
379 I didn't know that there was a string attached! 1.4888 0.05054 178 109 51 18
380 Well, are you happy now, you said you wanted a trophy wife 1.4888 0.05239 178 112 45 21
381 What can I say? He caught a bigger one. 1.4888 0.05116 178 110 49 19
382 Don't be lured by shiny objects. That's the best advice I can give you, Junior. 1.4886 0.04967 176 106 54 16
383 I said I needed a tax attorney, not taxidermy! 1.4886 0.05222 176 110 46 20
384 Somehow I thought getting board certified would feel different 1.4886 0.05159 176 109 48 19
385 I got hooked. 1.4885 0.05073 174 106 51 17
386 Whatever you do don’t let them catch you singing! 1.4885 0.05329 174 110 43 21
387 I should've known - you did say that worm was "to die for." 1.4885 0.04941 174 104 55 15
388 You knew I was a trophy wife when you married me Harold. 1.4885 0.05266 174 109 45 20
389 Stay in school, or you’ll end up in a dead end job like me. 1.4885 0.05329 174 110 43 21
390 I'm headed to the dentist to get rid of this plaque. 1.4884 0.05438 172 110 40 22
391 They push a button. I sing a song, everyone laughs, they throw me back . It’s a living ! 1.4884 0.05311 172 108 44 20
392 When you get regifted that many times, you start to take it personally, you know? 1.4884 0.05311 172 108 44 20
393 I don’t think they understood the meaning of ‘catch & release.’ 1.4884 0.05116 172 108 46 18
394 He calls me his trophy wife so I thought I’d make it official. 1.4884 0.05182 172 106 48 18
395 No such thing as a free lunch 1.4869 0.05136 191 122 45 24
396 Yes, my doctor keeps insisting it’s my plaque buildup that’s slowing me down, too. 1.4860 0.05156 179 112 47 20
397 'Worst Halloween costume idea ever, Ron.' 1.4860 0.05452 179 117 37 25
398 If you don’t stay in school you’ll end up just like me! 1.4860 0.05336 179 115 41 23
399 You know the worst part? This ain't even my good side! 1.4860 0.05277 179 114 43 22
400 You were right, I shoulda kept my mouth shut. 1.4859 0.05321 177 113 42 22
401 It helps my back pain 1.4857 0.05180 175 109 47 19
402 One day you’ll have to work for a living too, son. 1.4855 0.05160 173 107 48 18
403 Stay in school, and pay attention in Bait class." 1.4855 0.05224 173 108 46 19
404 What? All of a sudden you don’t want a trophy wife? 1.4855 0.05476 173 112 38 23
405 I was not ghosted, I was planked. 1.4854 0.05001 171 103 53 15
406 The law doesn’t specify what can happen between the catch and the release 1.4853 0.05034 204 132 45 27
407 I fell for the old hook, line, and sinker. 1.4852 0.05381 169 107 42 20
408 For a time I had fame. People were drawn to me. They admired me. But in the end I realized I was just a fish out of water. 1.4852 0.05510 169 109 38 22
409 The important thing is I won. 1.4852 0.05446 169 108 40 21
410 I could’ve been so much more than just your trophy wife. 1.4852 0.05381 169 107 42 20
411 They tossed me back because I don't, and I quote, 'spark joy anymore' after they went vegan. 1.4852 0.05315 169 108 41 20
412 And that's why you need to stay in schools. 1.4850 0.05429 167 106 41 20
413 You've never seen a trophy husband before? 1.4850 0.05157 167 102 49 16
414 I was happy on the wall above the fireplace until this big blue marlin showed up. 1.4850 0.05495 167 107 39 21
415 They decided to redecorate with moose. 1.4850 0.05086 167 101 51 15
416 Guess I misunderstood what being a good catch meant. 1.4844 0.04897 192 119 53 20
417 I was young, I needed the money” 1.4840 0.05142 188 120 45 23
418 You don't really love me. You just want a trophy wife. 1.4837 0.04993 184 114 51 19
419 No, Jim, I will not sing to you again. 1.4833 0.05012 180 111 51 18
420 What's the worst that can happen, you said. Live a little, you said. 1.4831 0.04926 178 108 54 16
421 And just like that, he dumped me for another trophy wife. 1.4830 0.05404 176 114 39 23
422 Trust me. The worm is not a gift. 1.4826 0.05374 172 110 41 21
423 Catch and release is a lie, pass it on. 1.4824 0.04771 199 123 56 20
424 ...and for the third wish, I said I wanted to live forever. 1.4824 0.05611 170 112 34 24
425 This is why you wanna stay in school. 1.4824 0.05292 170 107 44 19
426 You’re right, I’m off the wall. 1.4824 0.05225 170 106 46 18
427 You're the one that wanted a trophy wife 1.4821 0.05203 168 104 47 17
428 Laugh,but ask yourself who has a rock-solid retirement plan. 1.4821 0.05404 168 107 41 20
429 This is what happens when you don’t stay in school. 1.4821 0.05203 168 104 47 17
430 I was all over late night TV. What have you accomplished? 1.4821 0.05404 168 107 41 20
431 We'll see who has the last laugh, when I'm on the wall, and you're on the plate! 1.4819 0.05520 166 107 38 21
432 Sure, singing was my dream, but fame has been a nightmare. 1.4819 0.05317 166 104 44 18
433 And I am here from the future to warn you "Don't take the bait!" 1.4813 0.05049 187 118 48 21
434 They could've at least picked my good side. 1.4809 0.05013 183 114 50 19
435 You think you’re miserable? I’ve to go back to Trump Tower 1.4798 0.05656 173 116 31 26
436 I'll identify as whoever I want, Bob. 1.4795 0.05136 171 106 48 17
437 That’s all I am to you, Bob. A trophy wife. 1.4793 0.05247 169 106 45 18
438 When he said he wanted a trophy wife, I never expected this! 1.4793 0.05111 169 104 49 16
439 If I didn’t have to sing the stupid song, it would be a good gig. 1.4790 0.05688 167 111 32 24
440 No, I do not know why bubbles are coming out of our mouths! 1.4785 0.05595 163 106 36 21
441 Yes. As it turns out, super glue really isn't water soluable. 1.4785 0.05527 163 105 38 20
442 ... and then I was elected to the Board 1.4775 0.05297 178 115 41 22
443 And this is key - if a bug has any kind of line attached to it . . . 1.4773 0.05342 176 114 40 22
444 I’m through being your trophy wife. 1.4770 0.05389 174 113 39 22
445 I’m sick of being your trophy wife. 1.4770 0.05689 174 118 29 27
446 I didn't do it. I've been framed. 1.4767 0.05047 172 106 50 16
447 I wanted to be a model wife, not a trophy wife. 1.4759 0.05384 166 106 41 19
448 Things could be worse. I could be in a can. 1.4757 0.05203 185 120 42 23
449 Here's a life lesson for you, "Stay in school!" 1.4756 0.05364 164 104 42 18
450 You were wrong, they don't eat you. 1.4756 0.05222 164 102 46 16
451 The dentist said it’s the worse case of plaque he’s ever seen! 1.4753 0.05756 162 108 31 23
452 Why no, I don't think I have a plaque problem. 1.4750 0.05316 160 100 44 16
453 No I didn't do it, I was framed! 1.4750 0.05090 160 97 50 13
454 I told you, I have attachment issues 1.4750 0.05604 160 104 36 20
455 You couldn’t have just put me on a pedestal like other guys?! 1.4747 0.05658 158 103 35 20
456 I suppose you know a better way to fake a death? 1.4747 0.05440 158 100 41 17
457 My dentist said I had plaque issues but this is ridiculous. 1.4747 0.05658 158 103 35 20
458 How long can you hold a plank? 1.4747 0.05440 158 100 41 17
459 Apparently someone doesn’t fully understand “Catch and Release.” 1.4744 0.05415 156 98 42 16
460 I should have paused when you said I could have the first bite. 1.4743 0.05178 175 114 41 20
461 If I've told you once, I've told you a thousand times. Stay in school. 1.4740 0.05349 173 112 40 21
462 Stay in school and keep a low profile. 1.4740 0.04839 192 120 53 19
463 I'm just a trophy wife to you. 1.4734 0.05246 169 107 44 18
464 Sorry I’m late but you wouldn’t believe what I’ve been through to get here. 1.4734 0.05313 169 108 42 19
465 Thanks for telling everyone I'm 'a keeper'. 1.4731 0.05558 167 110 35 22
466 Doc says I need to do something about this plaque buildup. 1.4731 0.05083 167 103 49 15
467 Yeah, well the rest of the school ended up fried, so who's head of the class now? 1.4724 0.05098 163 100 49 14
468 Why do some people make ‘catch and release’ more complicated than it needs to be? 1.4720 0.05364 161 102 42 17
469 I told you worms don't just "go for a swim." 1.4717 0.05414 159 101 41 17
470 You’re just jealous. It’s a major award stupid! 1.4717 0.05414 159 101 41 17
471 Everyone warned me you just wanted a trophy wife 1.4717 0.05264 159 99 45 15
472 Some of us don't return from battle. Others come back changed. 1.4717 0.05487 159 102 39 18
473 Take it from me, kid - Stay in school! 1.4713 0.05235 157 97 46 14
474 Stop introducing me as your trophy wife 1.4713 0.05389 157 99 42 16
475 Well, Ralph, I just ASSUMED the whole ‘catch and release’ thing sorta happened at the same time! 1.4713 0.05389 157 99 42 16
476 I got trolled. 1.4710 0.04870 155 91 55 9
477 I should have kept my big mouth shut. 1.4706 0.05645 153 99 36 18
478 This is not what I meant when I told you to mount me. 1.4702 0.05467 168 110 37 21
479 Don't look so shocked. It's this or the frying pan. 1.4699 0.05245 166 105 44 17
480 Getting mounted wasn't the fun activity I was expecting it to be. 1.4699 0.05245 166 107 41 18
481 You’re the one who wanted a trophy wife. 1.4695 0.05567 164 108 35 21
482 And then she said, “I’d like to mount you…” 1.4695 0.05431 164 106 39 19
483 I was just looking for a little bit more stability 1.4693 0.04966 179 112 50 17
484 To him I'm just a trophy. 1.4688 0.05240 160 100 45 15
485 Hey,Man.....I was framed! 1.4684 0.05437 158 101 40 17
486 I'd fight you, but I no longer have the guts. 1.4679 0.05489 156 100 39 17
487 I've been elected to the board 1.4679 0.05637 156 102 35 19
488 I am NOT an exhibitionist 1.4675 0.05541 154 99 38 17
489 I'm undercover. Keep swimming. 1.4671 0.05356 152 95 43 14
490 So this is what they mean by a trophy wife. 1.4670 0.05207 182 119 41 22
491 How do you think the walleye got is name? 1.4667 0.05323 150 93 44 13
492 I lost my place on the wall to someone bigger and dumber. 1.4662 0.05706 148 96 35 17
493 It's always about that f*cking bird, but I'm the early fish who got the worm. 1.4662 0.05459 148 93 41 14
494 The worst part was being replaced by a Jackalope! 1.4658 0.05140 161 100 47 14
495 Oh really? YOU’RE bored? 1.4658 0.05575 161 106 35 20
496 The call it Catch, Mount, and Release. 1.4654 0.05556 159 104 36 19
497 I thought you said this was a costume party 1.4654 0.05556 159 104 36 19
498 ‘No, Frank, I do not take requests. It’s one song only.’ 1.4654 0.05556 159 104 36 19
499 They once said I was a ‘great catch,’ too. 1.4654 0.05108 159 98 48 13
500 Go ahead, take a bite you said! 1.4651 0.05369 172 113 38 21
501 Most of time I really feel like a fish out of water. 1.4650 0.05386 157 100 41 16
502 I don't appreciate being left hanging. 1.4647 0.05286 170 110 41 19
503 And you think you’re bored? 1.4643 0.05128 168 106 46 16
504 oh sure, NOW they throw me back... 1.4641 0.05566 153 99 37 17
505 . Do NOT say ‘I told you so’! 1.4636 0.05620 151 98 36 17
506 When they tell you, 'It looks too good to eat', believe it!' 1.4634 0.05218 164 104 44 16
507 The upside is, I can talk. 1.4631 0.05514 149 95 39 15
508 They sent me back since I didn't "Spark Joy" 1.4631 0.05676 149 97 35 17
509 All I know is, it started out as a wart under my right fin. 1.4631 0.05755 149 98 33 18
510 It’s not exactly what I had in mind when I accepted the board position 1.4631 0.05596 149 96 37 16
511 They warn you about the Kool-Aid, but nobody says anything about the hook. 1.4626 0.05133 147 89 48 10
512 Now will your mother believe I'm quite a catch? 1.4625 0.05529 160 105 36 19
513 My dentist says I have too much plaque 1.4621 0.05624 145 93 37 15
514 I'm the trophy wife 1.4621 0.05538 145 92 39 14
515 This brings the definition of a trophy wife to a whole new level. 1.4621 0.05624 145 93 37 15
516 Dammit, I told you I wanted to be cremated! 1.4615 0.05561 156 102 36 18
517 No, seriously, I'm being framed. 1.4611 0.05149 167 106 45 16
518 Free board ain’t for everyone, but it’s working for me.” 1.4610 0.05461 154 99 39 16
519 Scared? I was petrified 1.4600 0.05486 150 96 39 15
520 Don’t text and swim, kids. 1.4600 0.05320 150 94 43 13
521 Before you know it, you’re hooked! 1.4600 0.05320 150 94 43 13
522 Not what I thought the manager meant when he said he was bringing me on board. 1.4596 0.05286 161 103 42 16
523 And to further add insult to injury, if you haven't noticed already, they misspelled my name! 1.4595 0.05703 148 97 34 17
524 It beats being served for dinner. 1.4595 0.05285 148 92 44 12
525 They assured me a plaque would make me immortal. 1.4591 0.04784 159 95 55 9
526 See what can happen when you dont stay in school? 1.4591 0.05334 159 108 33 18
527 You said it was only a worm. You said don’t be ridiculous. Eating a worm won’t kill you. 1.4589 0.05761 146 96 33 17
528 I've seen things, man. Horrible things...things a fish should never see. 1.4589 0.05509 146 93 39 14
529 Who’s really on display here? 1.4589 0.05246 146 90 45 11
530 Trust me. If the worm tastes like rubber, spit it out and swim like hell. 1.4586 0.05106 181 118 43 20
531 Everyone wants an alto these days; no one wants a bass 1.4583 0.05651 144 93 36 15
532 I don't think they understood the catch and release concept. 1.4575 0.05485 153 99 38 16
533 So I was asked by the CEO, "Do you want to be on our board?" 1.4573 0.05286 164 106 41 17
534 You're no prize yourself. 1.4571 0.05494 140 88 40 12
535 Relax, it's a Halloween costume. 1.4570 0.05695 151 100 33 18
536 Yes, I'm angry! How was I supposed to know this is what he meant by trophy wife?! 1.4570 0.05458 151 97 39 15
537 If you ask me to sing Take me to the River you will be sleeping with the fishes. 1.4568 0.05476 162 107 36 19
538 If they offer you room and board, don't bite. 1.4563 0.05597 160 107 33 20
539 Thanks for the dinner invitation, but I'll have to pass--I'm stuffed. 1.4558 0.05890 147 99 29 19
540 That’s not what I meant when I told you to mount me. 1.4557 0.05357 158 102 40 16
541 Go to the audition" you said. "What's the worst that could happen? 1.4545 0.05932 143 96 29 18
542 No Sam,I don’t consider this a great honor. 1.4545 0.05400 165 109 37 19
543 The worst part is they misspelled my name. 1.4545 0.05590 143 92 37 14
544 I'm more than just your trophy wife! I'm a real catch! 1.4539 0.05742 152 102 31 19
545 The idiot didn’t know that “Catch & Release” meant immediately. 1.4539 0.05995 141 95 28 18
546 I had no idea I was just a trophy wife. 1.4534 0.05639 161 109 31 21
547 Watch out. There's a guy in cement shoes coming down next. 1.4533 0.05232 150 94 44 12
548 I'm tired of being thought of as your trophy spouse! 1.4532 0.05706 139 90 35 14
549 I'm nothing but a trophy wife to you. 1.4532 0.05706 139 90 35 14
550 I acknowledge my dating profile was misleading, but saying you got ‘catfished’ is really hurtful 1.4532 0.05614 139 89 37 13
551 „I told my therapist all I need is more stability.” 1.4532 0.05706 139 90 35 14
552 But you always said you wanted a trophy wife! 1.4526 0.05672 137 88 36 13
553 Well Ma, at least someone is proud of me! 1.4521 0.05591 146 95 36 15
554 Billy lured me in, then pulled a bait and switch. 1.4521 0.05419 146 93 40 13
555 It's not as bad as you'd think, unless I'm turning right. 1.4514 0.05472 144 92 39 13
556 I know what you're thinking, but it's better than getting fried. 1.4514 0.05199 144 89 45 10
557 So I am a trophy wife. What? 1.4510 0.04902 153 93 51 9
558 And the crazy thing is...this isn't even my best side. 1.4507 0.05705 142 93 34 15
559 This is not what I meant when I said I wanted to be mounted. 1.4503 0.05769 151 102 30 19
560 No, I'm not native to the Hudson. I'm from Amazon. 1.4500 0.06025 140 95 27 18
561 Stop. Saying. Welcome. Aboard. 1.4500 0.05939 140 94 29 17
562 Where's your skateboard dude? 1.4497 0.05904 149 102 27 20
563 Can you believe she called me a 'trophy wife'? 1.4493 0.05546 138 88 38 12
564 Don't worry," you said. "Take the worm," you said 1.4493 0.05546 138 88 38 12
565 Why yes I was on the Sopranos 1.4485 0.05405 136 85 41 10
566 Why yes, I did have a small role in The Sopranos. 1.4485 0.05887 136 90 31 15
567 Catch and release is not supposed to work like this! 1.4485 0.06070 136 92 27 17
568 No. Seriously, I was framed. 1.4485 0.05699 136 88 35 13
569 Be careful when you are offered free room and board. 1.4483 0.05530 145 94 37 14
570 Turns out winning that fishing tournament wasn’t everything I hoped it would be. 1.4478 0.05760 134 87 34 13
571 Do not call me chairman of the board. 1.4476 0.05407 143 91 40 12
572 You said this was my best side! 1.4470 0.05723 132 85 35 12
573 I never should have taken this job. 1.4470 0.05517 132 83 39 10
574 So I ate the worm and the next thing I know, I was abducted by aliens! They did terrible things to me... 1.4470 0.05621 132 84 37 11
575 don't let them find out you can sing. 1.4470 0.05621 132 84 37 11
576 As the ghost of your future, heed me. Examine your meals for hooks. 1.4460 0.05792 139 92 32 15
577 Yeah, eat the worm you said, what could possibly got wrong?! Thanks a lot! 1.4459 0.05531 148 97 36 15
578 Swallow the worm, they said. It’ll be fun, they said. 1.4459 0.05695 148 99 32 17
579 I misunderstood when you said you wanted to mount me. 1.4453 0.05853 137 91 31 15
580 Be a sport and get me 3 AAs will you? 1.4452 0.05586 146 96 35 15
581 You told me to make myself presentable. 1.4451 0.04988 164 104 47 13
582 ‘You eat the worm,’ they said. ‘It will be fine,’ they said. 1.4444 0.05556 144 94 36 14
583 Think twice when they ask you to be on the board. 1.4444 0.05430 135 85 40 10
584 At least someone thinks I'm a good catch. 1.4444 0.05556 144 94 36 14
585 Hey, it beats being on a dinner plate. 1.4444 0.05632 153 103 32 18
586 Do I look HAPPY? 1.4444 0.06010 135 91 28 16
587 I told you, I couldn’t eat another bite, I’m stuffed 1.4444 0.05812 144 97 30 17
588 They said they were redecorating the den. 1.4437 0.05285 151 97 41 13
589 Well at least SOMEONE thinks I’m a trophy, Mark. 1.4437 0.05368 151 98 39 14
590 I saw my dentist today. He says "wow that's a lot of plaque". Everyone's a comedian.. 1.4437 0.05522 142 92 37 13
591 And you didn't think I was a catch! 1.4437 0.05338 142 90 41 11
592 My dentist warned me about plaque. 1.4436 0.06261 133 92 23 18
593 Just get it over with and say "I told you so." 1.4429 0.05294 140 88 42 10
594 You think this is over? You think there’s still “plenty of fish in the sea”? 1.4427 0.05751 131 85 34 12
595 My biggest handicap is turning right. 1.4422 0.05299 147 94 41 12
596 Well, I can tell you one thing, this is better than what happened to Larry. He’s now a fish stick! 1.4422 0.05802 147 100 29 18
597 This is what happens when they find out you can sing. 1.4420 0.06173 138 96 23 19
598 I’m telling you kid, don’t take the bait! 1.4420 0.05541 138 89 37 12
599 YOU get stuffed! 1.4419 0.05814 129 84 33 12
600 Don't believe them when they tell you it's a surfboard! 1.4419 0.05917 129 85 31 13
601 They used to just kiss you then throw you back. 1.4419 0.05493 129 81 39 9
602 I always throw them back, he said 1.4412 0.05400 136 86 40 10
603 When I said I was on board, this isn’t what I meant. 1.4412 0.05194 136 84 44 8
604 Be honest...does it look like I got a lot of work done? 1.4412 0.05974 136 92 28 16
605 Plankton! I said Plankton! 1.4409 0.05662 127 81 36 10
606 Did they get the spelling right? 1.4409 0.05984 127 84 30 13
607 I got nailed to a piece of wood too and nobody devotes an entire religion to me. 1.4406 0.05668 143 97 30 16
608 I don't care if the mandate is lifted. I'm going to keep wearing mine for extra protection. 1.4403 0.05556 134 86 37 11
609 It guarantees they won't eat me. 1.4403 0.05351 134 84 41 9
610 Take it from me, Son. Never fall for these three things: Hook, Line & Sinker. 1.4403 0.05851 134 89 31 14
611 It's called performance art. 1.4400 0.05714 150 102 30 18
612 I tried it and I do not recommend being a fish out of water! 1.4395 0.05595 157 107 31 19
613 When they warn you about harmful plaque, believe it! 1.4394 0.05511 132 84 38 10
614 There's no such thing as a free lunch. There's always a hook." 1.4394 0.05615 132 85 36 11
615 You're certainly not a great catch yourself, Dave! 1.4394 0.05717 132 86 34 12
616 Yeah, a living legend they call me. 1.4394 0.05074 132 80 46 6
617 You said we needed someone on the school board 1.4394 0.06013 132 89 28 15
618 Look, all I can tell you is do not fall for that bait. 1.4392 0.05358 148 98 36 14
619 You've never seen a trophy wife? 1.4388 0.05604 139 94 31 14
620 He told me that I was his Trophy Wife... 1.4387 0.05422 155 103 36 16
621 So, you think I'm just a trophy wife? 1.4385 0.05982 130 87 29 14
622 Yeah, the shipwreck was lucky, but the damned glue is waterproof. 1.4385 0.05779 130 85 33 12
623 What? You never saw a walleye? 1.4385 0.05779 130 85 33 12
624 Ed remember when you said that worm looked juicy? Well it was fake. I learned my lesson. 1.4385 0.05461 130 82 39 9
625 How dare you. I am NOT a trophy wife! 1.4380 0.05848 137 92 30 15
626 I had a pretty sweet gig 'til they got divorced. 1.4375 0.05843 128 84 32 12
627 Remember kid, as a fish, don't aspire to be remembered 1.4375 0.05637 144 96 33 15
628 The worst part is that I just can't get this song out of my head 1.4375 0.05629 128 82 36 10
629 Whatever they dangle in front of you, do NOT take the bait. 1.4375 0.05406 128 80 40 8
630 They could have at least mounted me on my good side 1.4371 0.05445 151 100 36 15
631 There was wood everywhere! And the furniture...was plaid! 1.4370 0.05624 135 88 35 12
632 I'm just your trophy fish, aren't I? 1.4370 0.05624 135 88 35 12
633 ...and this is the hook in my story... 1.4366 0.05142 142 89 44 9
634 I told him my other side was my good side. 1.4365 0.06015 126 84 29 13
635 ...and the last thing I remember is thinking, "Hmm, maybe that's not a worm." 1.4355 0.06192 124 84 26 14
636 What, haven't you ever seen a wall-eye before? 1.4351 0.05745 131 86 33 12
637 For the last time, NO, I don't know Big Mouth Billy Bass!! 1.4351 0.05846 131 87 31 13
638 His wife said it was either me or the moose head 1.4351 0.05536 131 84 37 10
639 So, I’m a wall-eye 1.4351 0.05846 131 87 31 13
640 Being a prize-winning catch isn't so great after all. 1.4351 0.05945 131 88 29 14
641 I’m an undercover carp 1.4351 0.05846 131 87 31 13
642 My autobiography will be entitled 'The Greatest Escape of All Time." 1.4348 0.05814 138 93 30 15
643 It was supposed to be catch and release, not catch, humiliate, and release, ok? 1.4348 0.05629 138 91 34 13
644 My advice? Avoid things with strings attached. 1.4345 0.05775 145 99 29 17
645 I'm fed up of being called a trophy wife! 1.4345 0.05433 145 95 37 13
646 I have to carry around this stupid fish of the year award for twelve months 1.4341 0.05807 129 85 32 12
647 This isn’t what I envisioned when I said, “I wouldn’t mind being a trophy wife.” 1.4341 0.05702 129 84 34 11
648 Unfortunately, I took the bait hook, line, and sinker. 1.4341 0.06012 129 87 28 14
649 Of course this wasn't my idea! 1.4341 0.05911 129 86 30 13
650 At least I didn't end up on somebody's dinner plate. 1.4341 0.05807 129 85 32 12
651 It's not a goddamn phase, Mom, this is who I am! 1.4338 0.05877 136 92 29 15
652 Let me tell you,being a trophy wife has its downsides. 1.4338 0.05969 136 93 27 16
653 His trophy wife did not like the competition and threw me back. 1.4331 0.06081 127 86 27 14
654 All I am to you is a trophy wife 1.4331 0.06183 127 87 25 15
655 That’s the last time I enter a singing contest. 1.4331 0.05655 127 82 35 10
656 His wife said “either that goes or I go”! 1.4328 0.05941 134 91 28 15
657 If you don’t stay in your school, you could end up like this! 1.4328 0.05845 134 90 30 14
658 I’m stuffed! 1.4326 0.05541 141 93 35 13
659 Not what I meant when I said, sure, mount me. 1.4324 0.05766 148 102 28 18
660 I was once Headmaster--now I'm only on the School Board! 1.4320 0.06047 125 84 28 13
661 If they think you're already dead, they don't bother you. 1.4320 0.05829 125 82 32 11
662 I swear honey, I was just hanging out with the guys, eating some midges, maybe I had a mayfly or two. Then, Bam! I got abducted by aliens! 1.4320 0.06256 125 86 24 15
663 I just HAD to open my big mouth... 1.4320 0.05939 125 83 30 12
664 Let's go for a swim" you said. "It will be fun" you said. "NOTHING WILL GO WRONG" you said 1.4320 0.05829 125 82 32 11
665 He did not seem to get the whole catch and release concept. 1.4318 0.05608 132 86 35 11
666 A little late to be thrown back! 1.4318 0.05608 132 86 35 11
667 I'd like see YOU come up with a scarier Halloween costume. 1.4317 0.05781 139 94 30 15
668 You wouldn’t get it, up there I’m a work of art. 1.4309 0.06332 123 85 23 15
669 So I have a little plaque 1.4309 0.05782 123 80 33 10
670 Listen to me kid. Goin' to the top ain't worth it" 1.4309 0.06118 123 83 27 13
671 You know I hate being called a 'trophy wife'! 1.4309 0.06008 123 82 29 12
672 I don't know how I ended up in the ocean - every time they pressed that goddamn button I said take me to the river! 1.4309 0.05896 123 81 31 11
673 There must have been a more appropriate Zoom background choice! 1.4309 0.06008 123 82 29 12
674 My dentist says it's plaque 1.4309 0.06226 123 84 25 14
675 You said there was no catch. 1.4309 0.05301 123 76 41 6
676 And then he took me to the river and put me in the water. 1.4308 0.06074 130 89 26 15
677 It's for a TikTok 1.4308 0.05772 130 86 32 12
678 Damnit, John! If you push that button one more time I swear it'll be the last thing you ever do! 1.4308 0.05772 130 86 32 12
679 "Don't treat me like some trophy wife." 1.4308 0.06172 130 90 24 16
680 I'm a walleye 1.4308 0.05875 130 87 30 13
681 I wouldn’t suggest the worm 1.4308 0.06268 130 91 22 17
682 Admit it! I'm just a trophy wife to you, aren't I? 1.4307 0.05842 137 93 29 15
683 I was just playing dead 1.4298 0.05356 121 75 40 6
684 That’s right small fry CHAIRMAN of the BOARD 1.4298 0.05483 121 76 38 7
685 Apparently, there are bigger fish in the sea! 1.4297 0.05283 128 80 41 7
686 Hurry up and find me a bottle of that stuff that removes plaques. 1.4297 0.06043 128 87 27 14
687 This wasn't my idea of getting mounted 1.4297 0.05836 128 85 31 12
688 I should have known there were drawbacks to being a trophy wife. 1.4297 0.05730 128 84 33 11
689 If you call me off-the-wall one more time... 1.4297 0.05730 128 84 33 11
690 THIS is why you don't rise to the bait. 1.4297 0.05941 128 86 29 13
691 I'm tellin' ya Elsa... Being a trophy wife isn't all it's cracked up to be. 1.4297 0.05398 128 81 39 8
692 Oh yeah? Well, you're no prize yourself. 1.4297 0.05621 128 83 35 10
693 I could have handled being mounted, it was the singing that drove me insane 1.4296 0.05617 135 89 34 12
694 Of course I can't swim. You knew I was a trophy wife when you married me. 1.4286 0.05657 140 94 32 14
695 Looks like a tasty worm" you said. Your exact words were: "Its just dangling there, go ahead eat it, nothing to worry about." 1.4286 0.05794 119 77 33 9
696 Sure, try that worm, you said. 1.4286 0.05794 119 77 33 9
697 There's a whole school of us. No father has ever wanted us as a gift. 1.4286 0.06113 126 86 26 14
698 This way I know that I won't get eaten 1.4286 0.05793 126 83 32 11
699 I'm told it will go down as the greatest escape in fish history 1.4286 0.05970 133 91 27 15
700 My advice?-Don't be a keeper. 1.4275 0.05738 131 87 32 12
701 It’s not just uncomfortable but I think it makes me look fat. 1.4275 0.05738 131 87 32 12
702 When you asked to mount me, I thought you had something else in mind. 1.4275 0.05738 131 87 32 12
703 I’ve been water boarded…. it was torture! 1.4274 0.05858 124 82 31 11
704 It's a performance art thing, you wouldn't understand. 1.4264 0.06005 129 88 27 14
705 Do you understand the sacrifices I’ve made to keep you in school? 1.4262 0.05926 122 81 30 11
706 The sad part is I don't look anything like a bass. 1.4262 0.05810 122 80 32 10
707 Trust me, kid, catch-and-release is a myth. 1.4262 0.05449 122 77 38 7
708 Dumbest fly fishing craze yet, mount and release! 1.4255 0.05535 141 94 34 13
709 Stop looking at me like I'm a fish out of water 1.4255 0.05535 141 94 34 13
710 Next time, YOU test the worm to see how it tastes, Steve 1.4255 0.05625 141 95 32 14
711 I guess that’s what I get for having a big mouth 1.4254 0.05441 134 87 37 10
712 I thought I specified cremation?! 1.4252 0.05757 127 84 32 11
713 I don’t want to be your trophy wife anymore. 1.4250 0.05877 120 79 31 10
714 Like you’ve never done anything you’ve regretted? 1.4250 0.05877 120 79 31 10
715 I should have known the giant, wiggly, lime green worm floating before me was too good to be true. 1.4250 0.05757 120 78 33 9
716 You're bored? How do you think I feel? 1.4250 0.06553 120 85 19 16
717 He was just looking for a trophy wife. 1.4242 0.05703 132 88 32 12
718 The ad said "Be a Mountee." Well, I thought it was just how they spelled it in Canada 1.4240 0.05710 125 82 33 10
719 Yes, I went to Harvard. 1.4238 0.05826 151 107 24 20
720 I was told that I was special 1.4237 0.05569 118 75 36 7
721 It's oak. Why? 1.4237 0.05437 118 74 38 6
722 Apparently, it's catch, MOUNT, and release. 1.4237 0.05946 118 78 30 10
723 Stay away from worms. 1.4237 0.06185 118 80 26 12
724 I just came back to see the faces of those who said I would never amount to anything. 1.4237 0.06301 118 81 24 13
725 On the other hand, it comes with a certain immortality. 1.4228 0.05416 123 78 38 7
726 I made some bad decisions in school. 1.4228 0.05657 123 80 34 9
727 Get a career in singing, she says. You'll be put on a pedestal, she says. 1.4224 0.05763 116 75 33 8
728 You've got a lot of nerve telling me “Don’t Worry, Be Happy” 1.4224 0.05763 116 75 33 8
729 Now is not the time for an I told you so. 1.4222 0.05804 135 92 29 14
730 My coworkers said I’m harder to get through to now I’m on the board 1.4222 0.05511 135 89 35 11
731 The early fish gets the worm you said. 1.4222 0.05610 135 90 33 12
732 I’ve been doing planks to improve my core strength. 1.4215 0.05720 121 79 33 9
733 And then she said, ‘play that song one more time and I’m throwing it in the river myself’ 1.4215 0.06508 121 86 19 16
734 Don’t tell me it’s not noticeable, Steve 1.4215 0.06508 121 86 19 16
735 Oh look, you said, check out that sparkly worm. 1.4214 0.05371 140 92 37 11
736 I never wanted to be a trophy wife. This was your idea, Alfred. 1.4211 0.06341 114 78 24 12
737 I can’t handle another year of White Elephant parties 1.4211 0.06341 114 78 24 12
738 It’s all fun and games till someone gets nailed. 1.4211 0.05769 133 90 30 13
739 Because I’m an ARTIST, mom! 1.4211 0.06217 114 77 26 11
740 And don’t come back till you’ve found a dentist that can remove this plaque. 1.4203 0.05424 138 91 36 11
741 Three years of marriage, sixteen children and now I don’t go with your decor?” 1.4202 0.05785 119 78 32 9
742 The solid oak plaque has really helped with my sciatica. 1.4202 0.05785 119 78 32 9
743 I'm board stiff! 1.4202 0.06026 119 80 28 11
744 Yeah it's a new thing they call it planking 1.4202 0.05785 119 78 32 9
745 Well you're not that much of a trophy either. 1.4198 0.05831 131 89 29 13
746 No? But you always said you wanted a trophy wife. 1.4194 0.05850 124 83 30 11
747 I didn’t sing Take Me To The River for twenty years to pay for your fancy school so you could waste it studying Art History. 1.4188 0.05977 117 78 29 10
748 At least I can sing some Elvis. 1.4188 0.05461 117 74 37 6
749 Son, let me explain the subtle yet important difference between winning a trophy and being a trophy. 1.4188 0.05977 117 78 29 10
750 His idea of a trophy wife. 1.4188 0.05725 117 76 33 8
751 My day? You have no idea! 1.4188 0.06336 117 81 23 13
752 This is not what I thought my parents meant when enrolled me into a boarding school 1.4188 0.05461 117 74 37 6
753 Did you just refer to me as a trophy wife?! 1.4188 0.06336 117 81 23 13
754 This is not what I had in mind when they told me I was getting a plaque 1.4186 0.05998 129 89 26 14
755 Don’t tell them you can sing. 1.4184 0.05341 141 93 37 11
756 Remember when you said I’d amount to nothing 1.4182 0.05972 110 72 30 8
757 Can you recommend a dentist to get rid of my plaque?" 1.4180 0.06358 122 86 21 15
758 The good news is that he threw me back...that bad new is that he was a taxidermist." 1.4180 0.06030 122 83 27 12
759 Yeah, I'd say there's room for improvement in their "Catch and Release" program. 1.4180 0.06030 122 83 27 12
760 Do you think it's easy being a trophy wife? 1.4180 0.06251 122 85 23 14
761 I am the Ghost of Christmas Future. 1.4174 0.06296 115 79 24 12
762 It's an interesting story. 1.4174 0.05921 115 76 30 9
763 Just keep your damn mouth shut! 1.4174 0.06174 115 78 26 11
764 Avoid shiny stuff. 1.4174 0.05658 115 74 34 7
765 Promise me son not to do the things I’ve done 1.4174 0.05791 115 75 32 8
766 Mount and release. It’s the new humane form of taxidermy 1.4174 0.06296 115 79 24 12
767 Trophy wife my ass 1.4174 0.06296 115 79 24 12
768 Me and my largemouth. 1.4173 0.05527 127 83 35 9
769 Being a Trophy Wife isn't easy. 1.4173 0.06368 127 91 19 17
770 Beware my friend of bait that looks too good to be true. 1.4172 0.05004 151 98 43 10
771 What happens when you don’t stay in school. 1.4167 0.05624 120 78 34 8
772 Don’t be like me kid, stay in the school. 1.4167 0.05986 120 81 28 11
773 Not what I expected when I was selected to represent my school. 1.4167 0.05624 120 78 34 8
774 Can you believe what they had us make in shop class? 1.4167 0.05868 120 80 30 10
775 Not what I thought you meant by ‘trophy wife’. 1.4167 0.05498 120 77 36 7
776 You sing "Take Me To The River" enough times, I guess they'll actually do it. 1.4167 0.05986 120 81 28 11
777 You still think you want a trophy wife? 1.4159 0.05993 113 75 29 9
778 It turns out there are steps between 'catch and release.' 1.4159 0.05993 113 75 29 9
779 'Gee, that worm looks good' you said. 'What could possibly go wrong?' you said... 1.4155 0.05405 142 95 35 12
780 He didn't understand the concept of '"catch and release." 1.4153 0.05687 118 77 33 8
781 People suck. 1.4144 0.06459 111 77 22 12
782 This is what happens when you don't make a Living Will. 1.4144 0.06200 111 75 26 10
783 Don't judge. My other option was sautéed in lemon butter. 1.4144 0.06067 111 74 28 9
784 I feel like I'm always on display. 1.4141 0.05604 128 85 33 10
785 So I took the bait, what of it? 1.4141 0.05493 128 84 35 9
786 I wish I could move on, but I feel like I've been nailed down 1.4138 0.05881 116 77 30 9
787 Well, if you want a trophy wife, I’m it. 1.4138 0.06252 116 80 24 12
788 You think catch-and-release is bad? Try cultural repatriation. 1.4138 0.06252 116 80 24 12
789 Hey, don’t knock it. As long as I can keep the sharks on my right, I’m good. 1.4138 0.05881 116 77 30 9
790 I’m stuffed. How about you? 1.4138 0.06131 116 79 26 11
791 They only mount the most perfect specimens 1.4132 0.05463 121 78 36 7
792 I was looking for backing. 1.4132 0.05588 121 79 34 8
793 Last time I ever swallow anything hook, line and sinker! 1.4128 0.06280 109 74 25 10
794 I never worried about plaque until I was on one. 1.4128 0.05713 109 70 33 6
795 I got promoted!!I’ve finally made it to the board! 1.4128 0.05860 109 71 31 7
796 So a carp walks into a bar... 1.4128 0.06003 109 72 29 8
797 I never expected to be a trophy wife! 1.4127 0.05885 126 86 28 12
798 Should have known it was a bait & switch. 1.4123 0.05819 114 75 31 8
799 When they said I'd be mounted, I had a whole other idea in mind! 1.4123 0.06571 114 81 19 14
800 I was on the wall for 3 years till he caught a bigger fish and threw me off the end of the dock 1.4118 0.05666 136 93 30 13
801 Take singing lessons,“ you said. “It’ll pay off,“ you said 1.4118 0.06361 119 84 21 14
802 At least I’m vaccinated. 1.4118 0.05650 119 78 33 8
803 So Son, when they told me that me that they were giving me a retirement plaque, I never realized that I was the plaque. 1.4113 0.05040 141 91 42 8
804 Keep your mouth shut 1.4113 0.05493 124 81 35 8
805 ..and then they asked me if I wanted to be on the board. 1.4113 0.05840 124 84 29 11
806 This wasn't the plaque I thought they were talking about when I retired! 1.4113 0.05840 124 84 29 11
807 No. I will not become your trophy wife! 1.4109 0.05678 129 87 31 11
808 I dare you to eat that worm you sez! 1.4109 0.06285 129 93 19 17
809 Trophy wife 1.4107 0.06156 112 76 26 10
810 You just had to have a trophy wife. 1.4107 0.06024 112 75 28 9
811 I'm telling you, reincarnation doesn't work the way you think it does. 1.4098 0.06242 122 86 22 14
812 I ate the whole worm, and now I'm stuffed! 1.4094 0.05629 127 85 32 10
813 The guy really didn't understand the "catch-and-release" concept. 1.4091 0.05960 110 73 29 8
814 So I told my students I was retiring, and they got me a plaque..." 1.4091 0.05584 132 89 32 11
815 The deal was supposed to be "Catch and Release"!! 1.4091 0.05818 110 72 31 7
816 Don’t talk to me about how hard it is to be a millennial. I’ve had my back up against a wall since before you were born. 1.4091 0.06623 110 78 19 13
817 I'm sick of you putting me on display. 1.4087 0.06163 115 79 25 11
818 Go for it," you said. Now look where I wound up 1.4087 0.05910 115 77 29 9
819 Stop staring and get a pry bar or something. 1.4087 0.05509 115 74 35 6
820 It's no picnic, being a trophy wife! 1.4083 0.06092 120 83 25 12
821 Stay in school, son. Or you'll end up like me. 1.4083 0.05976 120 82 27 11
822 I had no idea this is what they meant by 'board-certified' 1.4080 0.05913 125 86 27 12
823 I’ve been fed that line before. 1.4074 0.06034 108 72 28 8
824 What? YOU’RE the one who got away?!? 1.4074 0.06176 108 73 26 9
825 21 years.. it took 21 years for them to take me to the river, and drop me in the water. 1.4074 0.06034 108 72 28 8
826 At least I’ve seen the world Jerry 1.4074 0.06176 108 73 26 9
827 So, I’m looking forward to a nice meal when suddenly I get this sharp stabbing pain in my mouth. 1.4074 0.06034 108 72 28 8
828 My taxidermist told me I need to get out more. 1.4074 0.06450 108 75 22 11
829 What do you mean this wasn’t what you meant by trophy wife? 1.4074 0.05889 108 71 30 7
830 Remember, I'm singing bass, not you! 1.4074 0.06713 108 77 18 13
831 Yeah. They warned me that back surgery was no fun, but they never mentioned the cast. 1.4071 0.06112 113 77 26 10
832 When they ask you to pick a song, pick a good one. 1.4065 0.06200 123 87 22 14
833 Go ahead, push the button. I dare you! 1.4057 0.06398 106 73 23 10
834 Take it from me, kid. Never let ‘em hear you sing. 1.4057 0.06537 106 74 21 11
835 Save me before they make me start singing "Take me to the River." 1.4057 0.06537 106 74 21 11
836 it’s not what it looks like, i’ve been framed! 1.4057 0.05962 106 70 29 7
837 My dentist warned me about plaque buildup. 1.4054 0.06188 111 76 25 10
838 Shouldn’t you be in school? 1.4054 0.05778 111 73 31 7
839 I can’t get this damn song out of my head! 1.4054 0.06447 111 78 21 12
840 Catch, Frame and release, its a new thing. 1.4052 0.06477 116 83 19 14
841 I liked it better when you put me on a pedestal. 1.4052 0.05996 116 79 27 10
842 At least someone is proud of me! 1.4052 0.05996 116 79 27 10
843 This isn’t exactly what I thought you meant when you said I had plaque build up. 1.4052 0.06477 116 83 19 14
844 I could be your trophy wife! 1.4046 0.05502 131 88 33 10
845 "They said I was getting a plaque. Any other stupid questions?" 1.4041 0.05632 146 103 27 16
846 It’s mortifying, Rita! I’ve never been an ounce over 12 lbs. in my life! 1.4038 0.06627 104 73 20 11
847 It's because I went to a prestigious school. 1.4037 0.06130 109 74 26 9
848 Grab a bite? Nah, I'm stuffed. 1.4037 0.06533 109 77 20 12
849 I'm sick of being your trophy husband. 1.4037 0.06130 109 74 26 9
850 You can laugh but I was big in the 80s 1.4037 0.05699 109 71 32 6
851 They were a nice family and all, but I just always felt like a fish out of water.. 1.4037 0.06267 109 75 24 10
852 ...and that's why I did not come home that evening. 1.4035 0.05672 114 75 32 7
853 I asked for plankton, not planked on! 1.4034 0.06351 119 85 20 14
854 This is not how I thought natural selection would play out. 1.4034 0.05638 119 79 32 8
855 Nah, I can live with it. It's only a problem when I need to turn right. 1.4032 0.05830 124 85 28 11
856 It's a fish story, I'm innocent and being framed! 1.4020 0.05789 102 66 31 5
857 There’s a catch to eating just anything that swims by. 1.4019 0.06209 107 73 25 9
858 I used to be a wall flower but now I think of myself as just off the wall. 1.4019 0.06349 107 74 23 10
859 How am I supposed to compete with a Blue Marlin? 1.4019 0.06209 107 73 25 9
860 I don’t know what’s worse, plaque or tartar 1.4019 0.06486 107 75 21 11
861 "Where have I been," Margret? That's your question? "Where have I been?" 1.4018 0.06766 112 82 15 15
862 I'm getting sick and tired of you referring to me as your trophy wife! 1.4018 0.06143 112 77 25 10
863 Honestly, Janice, being employee of the month isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. 1.4018 0.06011 112 76 27 9
864 I want to be more than a trophy wife. 1.4017 0.06197 117 82 23 12
865 Believe me, being a trophy is not the same for fish as it is for humans. 1.4017 0.06197 117 82 23 12
866 And dad said I'd never amount to anything! 1.4017 0.06077 117 81 25 11
867 At least I won't end-up in a tin can. 1.4017 0.06077 117 81 25 11
868 There's no such thing as a free meal. 1.4016 0.05506 127 85 33 9
869 Don’t eat the shiny things 1.4015 0.05469 132 89 33 10
870 So he waited a while to throw me back. 1.4000 0.05947 110 74 28 8
871 I mean, he literally nailed my ass to a wall. 1.4000 0.06274 115 81 22 12
872 I won the contest, what'd you do? 1.4000 0.06221 110 76 24 10
873 Well, technically it is still catch and release. 1.4000 0.06221 110 76 24 10
874 Go out and get us a worm for dinner, you said. 1.4000 0.06221 110 76 24 10
875 I went to the dentist for a cleaning but he couldn’t get this plaque off!! 1.4000 0.06712 105 75 18 12
876 You said, "Take the bait! Come on! Take it! If you don't I'm going to!" 1.4000 0.05947 110 74 28 8
877 This is not what I thought they meant by Board Member! 1.4000 0.05898 115 78 28 9
878 You were right. I should have kept my mouth shut! 1.4000 0.06434 105 73 22 10
879 Then they said,“Don’t worry, be happy.” 1.3984 0.05970 123 86 25 12
880 I’m tired of being treated like nothing more than a trophy wife. 1.3984 0.06080 123 87 23 13
881 Apparently I didn’t “spark joy” anymore. 1.3984 0.05742 123 84 29 10
882 'Sing, Billy! you said. 'They'll never eat you if you sing!' you said..." 1.3981 0.06437 108 76 21 11
883 What are you looking at? I won a prize! 1.3981 0.06301 108 75 23 10
884 It was a toxic relationship, but at least I felt prized. 1.3981 0.06374 103 71 23 9
885 Never again will I agree to be Chairman of the Board. 1.3981 0.06223 103 70 25 8
886 I fell for their line about immortality... 1.3969 0.05384 131 88 34 9
887 I think this whole cedar plank thing is taking it to extremes! 1.3968 0.05755 126 87 28 11
888 They want me to sing "Don't Worry Be Happy" all night, but nobody ever asks if I'm happy. 1.3966 0.06229 116 82 22 12
889 Stay in school, Billy… 1.3966 0.06348 116 83 20 13
890 Does this wall mount make me look fat? 1.3966 0.06229 116 82 22 12
891 Don’t look so shocked! It was a classic bait-and-switch. 1.3964 0.06041 111 76 26 9
892 .....lends new meaning to "waterboarding" 1.3964 0.06435 111 79 20 12
893 My beauty is my curse. 1.3962 0.05947 106 71 28 7
894 I really feel like my MFA is going to waste. 1.3962 0.05947 106 71 28 7
895 I thought he was just fishing for compliments. 1.3960 0.06612 101 71 20 10
896 I’ve seen some stuff, kid 1.3960 0.05983 101 67 28 6
897 You can't even get one piercing in this town without people looking at you differently. 1.3960 0.05816 101 66 30 5
898 Don't listen to these guys promising 'eternal fame.' It's a frame-up. 1.3952 0.05819 124 86 27 11
899 This is not the 'I want you to mount me' I had in mind! 1.3950 0.06111 119 84 23 12
900 Damn Marie Kondo. 1.3947 0.06055 114 79 25 10
901 Apparently,they've got bigger fish to mount. 1.3947 0.05793 114 77 29 8
902 I told you, stop pushing the button. 1.3947 0.06548 114 83 17 14
903 I'm classically trained, but you gotta do what puts algae on the table. 1.3947 0.06307 114 81 21 12
904 Never mind what I was doing at that Bar, just get me down from here. 1.3947 0.05926 114 78 27 9
905 Don't look so surprised - everyone lies on their Tinder profile. 1.3947 0.06307 114 81 21 12
906 I told you we should swim in the other direction!!" 1.3945 0.05832 109 73 29 7
907 It was an honor just to be nominated. Winning? Not so much. 1.3945 0.06254 109 76 23 10
908 This is not what I had in mind when I said I wanted to be a trophy wife. 1.3945 0.06116 109 75 25 9
909 Stay in school if you don’t want to end up like me 1.3945 0.06388 109 77 21 11
910 'I am worried, and I'm certainly not happy' 1.3942 0.06324 104 72 23 9
911 The dentist told me I’ve got plaque! 1.3942 0.06324 104 72 23 9
912 Kid, this is your future if you don't lay off the worms. 1.3942 0.06174 104 71 25 8
913 How was I supposed to know my school had woodworking class?!? 1.3942 0.06324 104 72 23 9
914 They didn’t even get my good side! 1.3939 0.06228 99 67 25 7
915 friggin' lawyer found a loophole to catch-and-release.. 1.3939 0.06551 99 69 21 9
916 It’s not a board, it’s a cedar plank. 1.3939 0.06392 99 68 23 8
917 You don’t understand, I AM the winner! 1.3939 0.06551 99 69 21 9
918 I guess they are remodeling the lake house. 1.3934 0.05649 122 85 27 10
919 We split after I went back to school— he just wanted a trophy wife. 1.3929 0.05580 112 74 32 6
920 Stop calling me your trophy wife. 1.3925 0.06050 107 73 26 8
921 Board Member? Really Board Member! 1.3925 0.06335 107 75 22 10
922 So then they shoved a battery in my ass. 1.3925 0.06194 107 74 24 9
923 This isn’t what I meant by being on the board. 1.3925 0.05902 107 72 28 7
924 I think there are products that can help you get rid of that plaque. 1.3925 0.05436 107 69 34 4
925 That's MISTER Big Mouth Bass to you. 1.3922 0.06256 102 70 24 8
926 He finally put me back in the water. 1.3922 0.06256 102 70 24 8
927 When I said, "I wanted to be a trophy wife". I did not expect this. 1.3922 0.06098 102 69 26 7
928 So you finally got your trophy wife- are you happy now? 1.3922 0.06705 102 73 18 11
929 And then, I swear to Cod, they tried to probe me. 1.3922 0.06098 102 69 26 7
930 You know, up there, I was quite the catch. 1.3922 0.05937 102 68 28 6
931 Because I won first prize. 1.3922 0.06256 102 70 24 8
932 I feel stuck in this job 1.3918 0.06804 97 69 18 10
933 I'm Billy Bass. I'm famous. Who the hell are you? 1.3917 0.06069 120 85 23 12
934 You're the one that wanted a trophy husband! 1.3917 0.06069 120 85 23 12
935 The worst part about the whole ordeal was he expected me to sing 1.3909 0.05932 110 75 27 8
936 No!.. Does it look like I'm Surfing? 1.3909 0.06340 110 78 21 11
937 Hard work, lad! THAT'S what earned me this wood-paneled office! And stay in school." . 1.3909 0.05790 110 74 29 7
938 Beat it junior, you’re no trophy fish. 1.3905 0.05661 105 69 31 5
939 Listen here, kid, in my time this was an honor. 1.3905 0.05496 105 68 33 4
940 It’s like catch-and-release, but enhanced. 1.3905 0.06127 105 72 25 8
941 Plaque lives matter! 1.3905 0.06127 105 72 25 8
942 Let's just say the novelty wore off. 1.3905 0.06127 105 72 25 8
943 It’s obvious you’re just looking for a trophy wife. 1.3900 0.06340 100 69 23 8
944 I'm telling you: IGNORE the hook with the wiggling worm. 1.3900 0.06178 100 68 25 7
945 It could be worse. I could be on a plate. 1.3900 0.06013 100 67 27 6
946 Fish 1: ‘Bill, I thought they caught you!’ Fish 2 (Bill): ‘I’ve mounted a comeback’ 1.3900 0.06497 100 70 21 9
947 Yep, taxidermist. You know, catch, mount and release. 1.3898 0.05901 118 82 26 10
948 Don’t end up like me, never let them know you can talk. 1.3894 0.06214 113 80 22 11
949 'Take a bite,' you said. 'It's like a free sample at Costco,' you said. 1.3889 0.06286 108 76 22 10
950 Got caught up at the dentist— apparently I’ve got a plaque problem. 1.3889 0.06005 108 74 26 8
951 I' tired of being your trophy wife -- I'm going back to school. 1.3884 0.05912 121 85 25 11
952 So what gives you the idea that I’ve ever been caught? 1.3883 0.06051 103 70 26 7
953 It's all fun and games until you take the bait. 1.3883 0.06358 103 72 22 9
954 Would you go find a sawfish, please? 1.3883 0.06506 103 73 20 10
955 It seemed like a good idea at the time 1.3883 0.06506 103 73 20 10
956 Dentist said I had too much plaque. 1.3878 0.06427 98 68 22 8
957 Don't get hooked! 1.3878 0.06261 98 67 24 7
958 Stop staring and go find a crowbar! 1.3878 0.05735 98 64 30 4
959 I’d rather be a fossil. 1.3878 0.06589 98 69 20 9
960 Quit your carping. At least I have a plaque. 1.3878 0.06746 98 70 18 10
961 It was this or the grill! 1.3871 0.05806 124 87 26 11
962 Can you please turn off the song that keeps playing over and over? 1.3871 0.05576 124 85 30 9
963 Believe me, hanging on the wall of a suburban rec room isn't as glamorous as you might think. 1.3868 0.05619 106 70 31 5
964 You wouldn’t believe the day I’ve had. 1.3868 0.05777 106 71 29 6
965 Someone please explain how to turn off this virtual zoom background? 1.3868 0.05930 106 72 27 7
966 If I hear one hook, line, and sinker joke... 1.3868 0.05619 106 70 31 5
967 I can’t believe you framed me 1.3861 0.06288 101 70 23 8
968 He calls me his trophy wife. 1.3860 0.05912 114 79 26 9
969 Show some respect, sonny. This is a Lifetime Achievement Award! 1.3860 0.05503 114 76 32 6
970 You always said you wanted a trophy husband. 1.3854 0.06347 96 66 23 7
971 No kidding? Well, I obviously didn't have the immediate type of "catch and release" experience that you had! 1.3853 0.06373 109 78 20 11
972 Yes, I'm bitter. The plan was to find a trophy wife. 1.3853 0.06239 109 77 22 10
973 Admit it, Bob! I’m just a trophy wife to you. 1.3853 0.05816 109 74 28 7
974 It’s clear the pressure is mounting. 1.3852 0.05636 122 84 29 9
975 Trust me. You do not want to be employee of the month. 1.3846 0.06051 117 83 23 11
976 I said I wanted to be in the mounted police. Not to be mounted please! You never listen! 1.3846 0.05674 117 80 29 8
977 At least I lived to tell about it. 1.3846 0.05802 117 81 27 9
978 My ex wanted a trophy wife. 1.3846 0.06158 104 72 24 8
979 I was caught, gutted, stuffed, and glued on to a board. What's new with you. 1.3846 0.06454 104 74 20 10
980 Take the fly,you said. It will be fun, you said. Besides, you said, he fishes catch and release and you’ll be back in no time… 1.3846 0.05802 117 81 27 9
981 No faux-saloon man-cave can hold me, no craft-store fasteners can keep me from my freedom. 1.3846 0.05802 117 83 24 10
982 The worst part is the music 1.3846 0.05674 117 80 29 8
983 Don’t even think about pushing that button. 1.3839 0.05846 112 77 27 8
984 Don't take the bait or you'll end up on the board. 1.3838 0.06374 99 69 22 8
985 I am so much more than just your trophy wife. 1.3838 0.06210 99 68 24 7
986 I know I'm late but I can explain 1.3838 0.05506 99 64 32 3
987 Well, technically, I did get away… 1.3838 0.06533 99 70 20 9
988 Does this accentuate my butt? 1.3838 0.06042 99 67 26 6
989 Being big is not all it is cracked up to be! 1.3833 0.05820 120 84 26 10
990 And they made me sing it over and over and over again... 1.3833 0.05698 120 83 28 9
991 I got dumped when they finally caught the one that got away. 1.3832 0.06034 107 74 25 8
992 Some championship. All I got was this lousy plaque. 1.3832 0.06034 107 74 25 8
993 Once and for all, I am not your trophy wife! 1.3832 0.06034 107 74 25 8
994 Boarding School sucks!" 1.3830 0.06611 94 66 20 8
995 Apparently they didn't like my singing 1.3830 0.06070 94 63 26 5
996 At least I’m a catch, Jerry 1.3830 0.06611 94 66 20 8
997 Don't believe anything they teach you about the worm. 1.3826 0.05869 115 80 26 9
998 This is the last time I listen to Ariel! 1.3824 0.06080 102 70 25 7
999 Gilbert, You’re going to have to find yourself another trophy wife, I want a divorce 1.3824 0.06080 102 70 25 7
1000 What? You said to get more exercise. I'm planking. 1.3824 0.06392 102 72 21 9
1001 Everyone is looking at my weight all the time. 1.3824 0.05919 102 69 27 6
1002 Yes, Carl, I deeply regret my stance on participation trophies 1.3824 0.06080 102 70 25 7
1003 You say you were looking for a trophy wife! 1.3818 0.06192 110 78 22 10
1004 The battery insertion was the hardest part” 1.3818 0.06055 110 77 24 9
1005 Apparently I didn't "spark joy" 1.3818 0.05773 110 75 28 7
1006 What do you mean I’m no prize? 1.3818 0.06192 110 78 22 10
1007 So I have a platform! Whaddaya have? 1.3814 0.06786 97 70 17 10
1008 It was your Mother's idea. 1.3814 0.05943 97 65 27 5
1009 I thought I WAS GETTING a prize. I didn’t think I was the prize. 1.3814 0.06294 97 67 23 7
1010 It's performance art as protest, you neanderthal! 1.3814 0.05759 97 64 29 4
1011 I just feel like there has been a wall between us lately… 1.3814 0.06294 97 67 23 7
1012 It’s spring cleaning season 1.3814 0.06294 97 67 23 7
1013 Am I some kind of joke to you? 1.3814 0.06121 97 66 25 6
1014 I tried school. I was bored. 1.3814 0.05886 118 83 25 10
1015 0f course I’m pissed! I thought they meant “Board of Directors”! 1.3810 0.06110 105 73 24 8
1016 Yes, I did know what a hook looked like! 1.3805 0.05804 113 78 27 8
1017 Don't get me started. 1.3804 0.06152 92 62 25 5
1018 . . . so they took me to the river. 1.3804 0.06343 92 63 23 6
1019 They asked me if I wanted to commemorate my graduation from school! 1.3804 0.06529 92 64 21 7
1020 In hindsight, ‘Take Me to the River’ probably was a poor song choice. 1.3804 0.06152 92 62 25 5
1021 I'll have you know that I'm in a very prominent spot above the fireplace! 1.3802 0.05411 121 82 32 7
1022 I took viagra three days ago and still can't get rid of this wood. 1.3802 0.06014 121 87 22 12
1023 I find it demeaning when you refer to me as your“trophy wife” ! 1.3800 0.07075 100 75 12 13
1024 Apparently "Take Me to the River" can cause acts of rage. 1.3800 0.05993 100 68 26 6
1025 That's MR. Billy Bass to you, punk. 1.3800 0.05822 100 67 28 5
1026 Yeah, well, this is what it takes to make it in the music business! 1.3800 0.06321 100 70 22 8
1027 Yes, I’m a model 1.3800 0.06321 100 70 22 8
1028 Guess what they added between the catch and the release. 1.3789 0.06381 95 66 22 7
1029 Be strong, be smart, set a good example and you'll be a model trophy fish for all. Any other good ideas? 1.3789 0.06723 95 68 18 9
1030 This is not my idea of catch and release! 1.3789 0.06381 95 66 22 7
1031 This way they’ll always get my good side 1.3789 0.06020 95 64 26 5
1032 They cleaned the apartment. 1.3789 0.06020 95 64 26 5
1033 Does this plaque make my bass look big? 1.3789 0.06723 95 68 18 9
1034 Go ahead, press the button again. It’s still not funny though… 1.3789 0.06723 95 68 18 9
1035 Yeah I tried singing, but I’ll always be more of a Bass player 1.3789 0.06381 95 66 22 7
1036 Don't go around telling everyone I'm your trophy wife! 1.3788 0.05434 132 92 30 10
1037 His wife threw me back. 1.3786 0.06340 103 73 21 9
1038 When they told me I had been appointed to the game and fisheries board, I didn't think THIS was what they meant ! 1.3786 0.06634 103 75 17 11
1039 Winning a fishing contest isn't all its cracked up to be. 1.3786 0.05873 103 70 27 6
1040 Bite it,” you said! “It’s shiny,” you said 1.3786 0.05873 103 70 27 6
1041 Now do you see what can happen when we don’t pay attention in school? 1.3784 0.05587 111 75 30 6
1042 I hope you're listening, TROPHY WIVES HAVE A SHELF LIFE! 1.3778 0.06434 90 62 22 6
1043 Barnaby, stop gawking and go tell your mother I'll be late for dinner. 1.3778 0.05823 90 59 28 3
1044 If you don’t floss, you get plaque. 1.3778 0.06434 90 62 22 6
1045 I'm you, from the future! 1.3778 0.06237 90 61 24 5
1046 It was a close thing, but I got away. 1.3776 0.06071 98 67 25 6
1047 …you know…immortality takes some sacrifice “ 1.3776 0.06241 98 68 23 7
1048 Once I was Kitsch of the Day. 1.3776 0.06241 98 68 23 7
1049 Trust me. Planking is coming back. 1.3776 0.06071 98 67 25 6
1050 Yes, I’ve had some work done 1.3776 0.06241 98 68 23 7
1051 ...and then he asked: ‘wanna hang out?’ 1.3776 0.06241 98 68 23 7
1052 What? You never seen a wall-eyed bass? 1.3774 0.06062 106 74 24 8
1053 Well, you're the one who wanted a trophy wife!" 1.3772 0.06154 114 82 21 11
1054 I wouldn't mind but they spelled my name wrong. 1.3772 0.05487 114 77 31 6
1055 You told me it was a real worm. 1.3763 0.05904 93 62 27 4
1056 Despite the waterboarding, I told those anglers nothing! 1.3763 0.06471 93 65 21 7
1057 Don’t be fatuous. 1.3763 0.06288 93 64 23 6
1058 ...then I say to myself, 'What's a worm doing all the way down here?'... 1.3763 0.06471 93 65 21 7
1059 Getting your name on a plaque isn't all fun and games, sonny! 1.3763 0.06471 93 65 21 7
1060 I didn’t say I wanted to BE a Father’s Day present. 1.3763 0.06471 93 65 21 7
1061 I should've known that a foreign email inviting me to be on an Amazon board was a scam. 1.3762 0.06110 101 70 24 7
1062 Thats why they call them lures! 1.3762 0.05946 101 69 26 6
1063 My trainer said 'planking' is the latest fitness trend. 1.3762 0.06110 101 70 24 7
1064 Yeah, well, it was a toxic workplace. 1.3762 0.06110 101 70 24 7
1065 For your information, I was not "caught". I was rescued. 1.3762 0.05946 101 69 26 6
1066 This is what happens to you when you pursue a singing career Marty. Trust me, stay in school. 1.3762 0.06426 101 72 20 9
1067 They told me I have to do planks for a strong core. 1.3762 0.06110 101 70 24 7
1068 No my vacation downriver was NOT relaxing 1.3762 0.05777 101 68 28 5
1069 Take my advice son; do not upset your mother. 1.3761 0.06084 109 77 23 9
1070 You said you wanted a trophy wife, and look what happened 1.3761 0.06357 109 79 19 11
1071 Don't wind up like me. Stay in school. 1.3761 0.05913 117 83 24 10
1072 And like an idiot, I fell for it hook, line and sinker. 1.3761 0.05913 117 83 24 10
1073 Sorry, you don't qualify. I'm looking for a trophy wife. 1.3750 0.05966 112 79 24 9
1074 I just kept singing "Take me to the River" until he threw me back. 1.3750 0.06826 96 70 16 10
1075 I earned it when I caught a 72 inch 200 lb. 15 year old fisher. 1.3750 0.06230 112 81 20 11
1076 Go help yourself. I'm stuffed. 1.3750 0.06151 96 66 24 6
1077 Isn't this what you wanted? A trophy wife? 1.3750 0.06497 96 68 20 8
1078 It’s walnut. 1.3750 0.05805 120 85 25 10
1079 “ Why do you say I have a one sided view on things?” 1.3750 0.06290 104 74 21 9
1080 Look on the bright side? I literally can’t! 1.3750 0.06290 104 74 21 9
1081 Trust me, being employee of the month is not all it’s cracked up to be 1.3750 0.05690 112 77 28 7
1082 Obviously I’m the chosen one. 1.3750 0.06326 96 67 22 7
1083 You always have something negative to say about my achievements, Terry. 1.3750 0.05966 112 79 24 9
1084 I’m just his trophy wife. 1.3739 0.05307 115 77 33 5
1085 Show me respect! I am not just some trophy wife! 1.3738 0.06161 107 76 22 9
1086 I get it. We all miss Keith. But this is a costume party—lighten up! 1.3738 0.06016 107 75 24 8
1087 I couldn't eat a thing. I'm stuffed. 1.3737 0.06190 99 69 23 7
1088 His latest girlfriend is a staunch vegetarian. 1.3737 0.06021 99 68 25 6
1089 You may be free but I have a position 1.3737 0.05847 99 67 27 5
1090 Just keep swimming pal. Nothing to see here. 1.3737 0.06021 99 68 25 6
1091 Up there I’m a trophy fish! 1.3736 0.06565 91 64 20 7
1092 I should've stayed in school. 1.3736 0.06748 91 65 18 8
1093 So my agent tells me he found this fantastic gig, and the next thing I know, I'm screwed to this board and singing standards. 1.3736 0.05773 91 60 28 3
1094 I do wish he had thrown me back BEFORE he mounted me 1.3736 0.06182 91 62 24 5
1095 You and your, "The early fish catches the worm!" 1.3736 0.05773 91 60 28 3
1096 When I heard plaque,I thought they were talking about my teeth. 1.3736 0.06376 91 63 22 6
1097 Of course I'm embarrassed, it's pine. 1.3736 0.06376 91 63 22 6
1098 Once he married that interior decorater I knew I was history. 1.3736 0.06748 91 65 18 8
1099 "So much for being served on a silver platter. 1.3736 0.06565 91 64 20 7
1100 Take my advice. Don't get hooked. 1.3727 0.05458 110 74 31 5
1101 I go by Bill now 1.3727 0.06038 110 78 23 9
1102 You’re bored??? 1.3725 0.05899 102 70 26 6
1103 I was drunk and didn’t see the hook. 1.3725 0.05382 102 67 32 3
1104 I’m more than just a trophy wife. 1.3723 0.06047 94 64 25 5
1105 So it turns out when you die, you learn to talk. Who knew? 1.3723 0.06414 94 66 21 7
1106 You're the one that always wanted a trophy wife! 1.3723 0.06414 94 66 21 7
1107 No dammit, I'm not on the school board. 1.3723 0.06590 94 67 19 8
1108 Hey Dan, you wouldn’t believe how I fooled them. 1.3723 0.05855 94 63 27 4
1109 Eat the worm you said, it’ll be fine you said! 1.3723 0.06414 94 66 21 7
1110 Being a trophy wife has been different than I expected. 1.3723 0.06762 94 68 17 9
1111 30 years leading the school, and I get a lousy placque. 1.3717 0.06054 113 81 22 10
1112 Just let me know if there’s a shark off to my right 1.3717 0.05922 113 80 24 9
1113 It read 'free board' 1.3714 0.06527 105 77 17 11
1114 His wife is throwing all of his stuff out. Watch out for the golf clubs. 1.3714 0.06385 105 76 19 10
1115 Volunteer at the school, they said, and you'll get a plaque. 1.3714 0.06091 105 74 23 8
1116 You think dental plaque is a problem! 1.3711 0.06442 97 69 20 8
1117 I felt pretty special on the living room wall. Then he found out about catch and release. 1.3711 0.06442 97 69 20 8
1118 When I ran for the executive board I had something else in mind. 1.3711 0.06442 97 69 20 8
1119 Well, that escalated quickly. 1.3711 0.06442 97 69 20 8
1120 No, Harold, this is NOT what they mean by 'trophy wife'. 1.3708 0.06662 89 63 19 7
1121 What do you mean, don't worry, be happy? I'm nailed to a piece of wood! 1.3708 0.06060 89 60 25 4
1122 Well...I didn't think I'd like planking either. 1.3708 0.07035 89 65 15 9
1123 I fell for the old bait and switch, son 1.3708 0.06060 89 60 25 4
1124 It's no fun being a fish out of water. 1.3708 0.06662 89 63 19 7
1125 You coulda just taken a photograph. 1.3708 0.06662 89 63 19 7
1126 Yea, well, don’t look now but your school just left without you. 1.3708 0.06468 89 62 21 6
1127 Ok so I got a little bored! 1.3704 0.05673 108 74 28 6
1128 So then the guy says to me, "Well, you've heard of planked salmon, right? 1.3700 0.06614 100 73 17 10
1129 Makes a great Father's Day gift, my ass. 1.3700 0.06139 100 70 23 7
1130 She decided to put me back. 1.3700 0.06139 100 70 23 7
1131 Again, a trophy fish doesn't win a trophy. It is the trophy. 1.3700 0.05972 100 69 25 6
1132 I’m sick of being treated like a trophy wife! 1.3700 0.06913 100 75 13 12
1133 Brian, you said this was a costume party! 1.3700 0.06614 100 73 17 10
1134 Shut up Gary, my chiropractor recommended it for my neck pain 1.3700 0.06139 100 70 23 7
1135 I'm tired of being a trophy wife. 1.3697 0.05951 119 86 22 11
1136 Down by the river. Why ? 1.3696 0.06320 92 64 22 6
1137 I feel like I’m just your trophy wife 1.3696 0.06128 92 63 24 5
1138 It's a plaque not a plank! 1.3696 0.06506 92 65 20 7
1139 I do Performance Art. You have a problem with that? 1.3696 0.06128 92 63 24 5
1140 Son, never trust a lazy fat worm. 1.3696 0.06320 92 64 22 6
1141 Swim off Sammy ! You don't love me. You're just looking for a trophy wife. 1.3696 0.07035 92 68 14 10
1142 Look forward to retirement buddy! 1.3696 0.06320 92 64 22 6
1143 I should have listened when dad told me there's no such thing as a free lunch! 1.3696 0.06506 92 65 20 7
1144 What? You never heard of cedar plank salmon? 1.3696 0.06128 92 63 24 5
1145 What, you never get board?!? 1.3696 0.06320 92 64 22 6
1146 I told him it was a little too late for catch-and-release. 1.3694 0.05855 111 78 25 8
1147 That guy really doesn't get the meaning of "catch and release". 1.3689 0.06169 103 73 22 8
1148 So, she said, if you love me eat that fly. And like the sucker I am I ate it. 1.3689 0.06321 103 74 20 9
1149 Singing was easier with dry batteries. 1.3689 0.06013 103 72 24 7
1150 I’m not just your trophy wife, Dave! 1.3689 0.06169 103 73 22 8
1151 After not leaving the house for a year, I feel like I’m on display 1.3689 0.05517 103 69 30 4
1152 It’s called plaque buildup, okay? 1.3689 0.05726 122 87 25 10
1153 I'm tired of being your trophy wife! 1.3684 0.05996 95 65 25 5
1154 I'm what catch and release means to a Republican! 1.3684 0.06180 95 66 23 6
1155 I can see it in your eyes. You're judging me for getting caught, taxidermied, and mounted. Like I'm some kind of dickhead. But you're missing the point. I also managed to make it back here and learned to talk. So who's the dickhead here really? 1.3684 0.07028 95 71 13 11
1156 I'm the one that didn't get away. 1.3684 0.06180 95 66 23 6
1157 I said, NO THANKS, I’M STUFFED! 1.3684 0.06532 95 68 19 8
1158 The worst part is my good eye is the one facing the board. 1.3684 0.06180 95 66 23 6
1159 I was never caught; I surrendered to authorities. 1.3684 0.06180 95 66 23 6
1160 It only hurts when I laugh. 1.3684 0.05806 95 64 27 4
1161 What do you mean it’s an “offensive Halloween costume”? Damnit Gary, how was I supposed to know about what happened to your uncle? 1.3684 0.06532 95 68 19 8
1162 I’m your old partner, Jacob Marlin... 1.3684 0.06532 95 68 19 8
1163 It wasn't me, I was framed! 1.3679 0.05416 106 71 31 4
1164 No! I'm not some sort of trophy fish! 1.3679 0.05893 106 74 25 7
1165 Yep, caught and released despite the mounting evidence. 1.3679 0.06334 106 77 19 10
1166 No, I was not hatched this way. 1.3678 0.06563 87 61 20 6
1167 Wouldn’t you know I’d bump into the only paddle board in the ocean with glue on it? 1.3678 0.06959 87 63 16 8
1168 And you thought I would never 'mount to anything! 1.3678 0.06764 87 62 18 7
1169 I'm a "stay-at-home husband", not a "trophy husband"! 1.3678 0.06356 87 60 22 5
1170 I was just taking a nap… 1.3678 0.06356 87 60 22 5
1171 The thing that really makes me mad is that they didn't even spell my name right on the plaque. 1.3675 0.06021 117 85 21 11
1172 Yeah, I know: you're the one that got away. 1.3673 0.05690 98 66 28 4
1173 I said no, you´ve got to get your own surf-board 1.3673 0.05690 98 66 28 4
1174 Do you know, "Take Me to the River?". 1.3673 0.05872 98 67 26 5
1175 I think we should be taking down the monuments of all fishy figures in history. 1.3673 0.05502 98 65 30 3
1176 Did you just tell me not to worry? 1.3673 0.06708 98 72 16 10
1177 For your information, pal, I am the fish of the month. 1.3673 0.06220 98 69 22 7
1178 I’m not gonna sing “Don’t worry be happy”, so don’t ask! 1.3673 0.06708 98 72 16 10
1179 Sorry! I've been hung up for a while! 1.3670 0.05779 109 76 26 7
1180 This is the nightmare I was talking about. 1.3670 0.06066 109 78 22 9
1181 It doesn’t mean anything, John. I just like the way it looks. 1.3670 0.06340 109 80 18 11
1182 Then, after gluing me to the board, they made me sing 'Take Me to the River.' 1.3667 0.06409 90 63 21 6
1183 I sang "Take me down to the river" one too many times 1.3667 0.06211 90 62 23 5
1184 Apparently, I’m a trophy spouse. 1.3667 0.06787 90 65 17 8
1185 Son, when are you going to settle down? 1.3667 0.06007 90 61 25 4
1186 After the remodel they decided to throw me back" 1.3663 0.05924 101 70 25 6
1187 I tried to tell them - my good side is on the right! 1.3663 0.05580 101 68 29 4
1188 Not what I was thinking of when I wanted to be a trophy wife! 1.3663 0.06406 101 73 19 9
1189 Catch. Mount. Show off. Throw away... Humans 🙄 1.3663 0.06089 101 71 23 7
1190 I gotta make sure they get my good side 1.3663 0.05755 101 69 27 5
1191 When I go out with you don't put me on display. 1.3661 0.06082 112 81 21 10
1192 It's solid oak, not oak veneer! 1.3656 0.06264 93 65 22 6
1193 Your loss, baby, I'm a catch. 1.3656 0.06074 93 64 24 5
1194 Have you seen any AA batteries floating around 1.3656 0.06264 93 65 22 6
1195 I was big in the 90s 1.3656 0.06627 93 67 18 8
1196 It only took two decades of me repeatedly singing ‘Take Me to the River’ for someone to finally fucking do it. 1.3654 0.06561 104 77 16 11
1197 Listen, there’s no free worms in life. 1.3647 0.07070 85 62 15 8
1198 Don't even think about pushing my button! 1.3646 0.06304 96 68 21 7
1199 This is what happens when you drop out of school!!! 1.3646 0.05565 96 64 29 3
1200 This plaque buildup has gotten out of hand. 1.3646 0.06304 96 68 21 7
1201 You know, I once had an attitude like yours.... 1.3646 0.06475 96 69 19 8
1202 I thought I was being AWARDED a plaque! 1.3646 0.05946 96 66 25 5
1203 What!?! So I took up taxidermy during the pandemic. What did you do? 1.3646 0.06642 96 70 17 9
1204 Your mom sent me to warn you about a career in singing. 1.3646 0.05758 96 65 27 4
1205 I’m kind of a big catch up there! 1.3645 0.05997 107 76 23 8
1206 Oh, yeah? Well, at least I now have a singing career. 1.3645 0.05848 107 75 25 7
1207 “You think this is bad? They also had me singing and flopping around on this board.” 1.3636 0.06333 99 71 20 8
1208 Well it does give good back support... 1.3636 0.06168 99 70 22 7
1209 Hey,it beats lying on a bed of risotto with haricots verts smothered with a lemon vers blanc sauce! 1.3636 0.06333 99 71 20 8
1210 It was messed up. The dad was saying "catch and release", and the kid was screaming "Show 'n Tell!!!" 1.3636 0.06700 88 63 18 7
1211 I’m telling you, I really was abducted! 1.3636 0.06502 88 62 20 6
1212 Better mounted on a plaque than served on a platter 1.3636 0.05880 110 78 24 8
1213 About your plan: What makes you think I'm on board? 1.3636 0.06494 99 72 18 9
1214 Well, for your information back in the day I was considered quite the catch! 1.3636 0.06502 88 62 20 6
1215 Yeah, I know what it says, but the name is Kyle 1.3636 0.06168 99 70 22 7
1216 I had it all--fame, fortune, a guest stop on the Sopranos. Now I swim with the fishes. 1.3636 0.06168 99 70 22 7
1217 I used to sing with The Platters. 1.3636 0.06494 99 72 18 9
1218 I said I was bored, not boared! 1.3636 0.06298 88 61 22 5
1219 It’s a new catch, mount and release policy 1.3627 0.06198 102 73 21 8
1220 Next thing I knew they *did* take me to the river. 1.3627 0.05877 102 71 25 6
1221 Son, never let anybody nominate you as''employee of the month''. You deserve better. 1.3626 0.06156 91 63 23 5
1222 What is not to be understood with take me to the RIVER? 1.3626 0.06351 91 64 21 6
1223 My ichthyologist says it’s good for my back 1.3626 0.06540 91 65 19 7
1224 And then they got annoyed with the singing, so here I am. 1.3626 0.05954 91 62 25 4
1225 …before I knew it I was hooked…the worm assured me that where I was going, there were more like him… 1.3626 0.06724 91 66 17 8
1226 Stop asking me if I’ve had work done! 1.3626 0.06904 91 67 15 9
1227 At least I got a plaque. All you'll ever be is an entree. 1.3617 0.06022 94 65 24 5
1228 Geez,if one more fish asks me I'm "bored", I think I'll scream. 1.3617 0.06209 94 66 22 6
1229 Left turn Only! 1.3617 0.06022 94 65 24 5
1230 Do you know how many times they forced me to sing Baby Shark?! 1.3617 0.06209 94 66 22 6
1231 is “Come on! Don’t be sel-fish, pay the check!!” 1.3617 0.05629 94 63 28 3
1232 Huh! Well I guess they didn’t like my singing. 1.3614 0.06080 83 56 24 3
1233 You know, it really is just one less thing to worry about in the morning 1.3614 0.06545 83 58 20 5
1234 I’m quite the catch! 1.3613 0.05935 119 87 21 11
1235 That’s it, Doug. My days as a trophy wife are OVER! 1.3611 0.05803 108 76 25 7
1236 Because I stopped wiggling my ass every time he walked by. 1.3611 0.06094 108 78 21 9
1237 Yeah, turns out that the afterlife looks a lot like a spot over the cash register at Bob's Surf & Sirlion 1.3611 0.06094 108 78 21 9
1238 Believe me, you're no trophy either. 1.3608 0.05896 97 67 25 5
1239 The worm looked safe, you said. You'd wait for the next one, you said. 1.3608 0.06419 97 70 19 8
1240 Can't you see I'm up against the wall here? 1.3608 0.06903 97 73 13 11
1241 I've really tried to move on but I think I'm stuck here forever 1.3608 0.05711 97 66 27 4
1242 Thanks for pointing out that nice lure for me to nibble on. 1.3608 0.06745 97 72 15 10
1243 So he says to me: ‘I can make you a star!’ 1.3608 0.06075 97 68 23 6
1244 Well, they finally took me to the river and dropped me in the water, Larry 1.3608 0.06419 97 70 19 8
1245 I’m not just a trophy husband 1.3608 0.05896 97 67 25 5
1246 It’s always about the singing! No one ever asks to hear my slam poetry. 1.3605 0.06598 86 61 19 6
1247 Next time I say I’m headed topside for a singing career, tell me to shut my large mouth 1.3605 0.06598 86 61 19 6
1248 My dentist says that if I floss more my plaque will go away. 1.3605 0.06598 86 61 19 6
1249 Well that's the absolute last time I go out for a bite with you. Especially with you leaving me on the hook for the Bill. 1.3605 0.06388 86 60 21 5
1250 You’re my agent, Gary. If I wanted to be passed around at weird holiday parties, I would have gone with Janice. 1.3605 0.06802 86 62 17 7
1251 You sense my mounting frustration??! 1.3600 0.06280 100 72 20 8
1252 Play dead y'said. Ain't nothin' gonna happen y'said. 1.3600 0.06280 100 72 20 8
1253 Awards are not as good as you think.” 1.3596 0.06441 89 63 20 6
1254 The buoyancy saves me 15 minutes on my commute. 1.3596 0.06240 89 62 22 5
1255 Big Mouth strikes again 1.3596 0.06032 89 61 24 4
1256 You don’t look anything like your profile picture. 1.3596 0.06636 89 64 18 7
1257 The pre-paid funeral plan was not what I was expecting." 1.3596 0.05592 89 59 28 2
1258 Who let you off the hook? 1.3596 0.06441 89 63 20 6
1259 It's called accessorizing Jeff 1.3596 0.06032 89 61 24 4
1260 Another emotionally unavailable man with boundaries and anger issues. Sigh. #notalotofgoodfishinthesea 1.3596 0.06240 89 62 22 5
1261 It’s all fun and games until someone gets nailed to the wall. @paulnoth 1.3596 0.06441 89 63 20 6
1262 I expect to be reinstated by August. 1.3596 0.06441 89 63 20 6
1263 When they told me i was going to be in the hall of fame, this isn't what i was thinking! 1.3596 0.06032 89 61 24 4
1264 They called my bluff and took me to the river 1.3596 0.06032 89 61 24 4
1265 I had a few drinks and before I knew it I was hammered! 1.3590 0.05753 117 84 24 9
1266 All I can say is if someone throws you a line, don’t take it. 1.3587 0.06481 92 66 19 7
1267 You wanted a trophy wife - what did you expect? 1.3587 0.06663 92 67 17 8
1268 I already told you: I'm not the kind that sings! 1.3587 0.06294 92 65 21 6
1269 I’m an influencer now. 1.3587 0.06294 92 68 17 7
1270 Don't blow my cover. They think I'm pollution. 1.3587 0.06294 92 65 21 6
1271 Finish school so you don’t end up like me! 1.3587 0.05902 92 63 25 4
1272 It's a living. 1.3585 0.05558 106 73 28 5
1273 I had to sing it about a thousand times before somebody finally took me to the river! 1.3585 0.05872 106 75 24 7
1274 This is what can happen if you don’t stay in school 1.3585 0.05872 106 75 24 7
1275 Go back to school, darling. You don’t want to be some man’s trophy. 1.3579 0.06334 95 68 20 7
1276 It's my ticket out of this dump! 1.3579 0.06509 95 69 18 8
1277 THIS is what you had in mind for 'role play' night? 1.3579 0.06679 95 70 16 9
1278 You think getting back here was easy. 1.3571 0.07114 84 62 14 8
1279 Catch and release? Why do you ask? 1.3571 0.06481 84 59 20 5
1280 They finally caught the one that got away. 1.3571 0.06481 84 59 20 5
1281 I was hoping for a surfboard. 1.3571 0.05664 98 67 27 4
1282 I refused to sing 'How Dry I Am' so they threw me back. 1.3571 0.06699 84 60 18 6
1283 Worry. You should definitely worry. 1.3571 0.06256 84 58 22 4
1284 Sorry, honey, I was framed. 1.3571 0.05847 98 68 25 5
1285 I was very specific...I said take me to the RIVER! 1.3571 0.06699 84 60 18 6
1286 The judge said this still counts as “catch and release” so the guy got off with no fine. 1.3571 0.05475 98 69 25 4
1287 This is how Eric and Don Jr. do catch and release. 1.3571 0.06842 98 74 13 11
1288 What did I know? My agent said, c'mon Billy it's The Sopranos— the role of a lifetime. 1.3571 0.06364 98 71 19 8
1289 It's for Halloween, Gill! 1.3571 0.06527 98 72 17 9
1290 I didn't walk out on you I just went out for a bite!... 1.3571 0.06364 98 71 19 8
1291 What? I was hangry” 1.3565 0.05686 115 82 25 8
1292 No justice till they catch who framed me! 1.3564 0.06384 101 74 18 9
1293 Go ahead press my button. 1.3564 0.06066 101 72 22 7
1294 Long time no sea. 1.3564 0.06066 101 72 22 7
1295 You said it was a dress up party! 1.3564 0.06066 101 72 22 7
1296 I'm not just some trophy wife, ya know. 1.3558 0.06397 104 77 17 10
1297 All I asked for was a little nip and tuck. 1.3556 0.06382 90 64 20 6
1298 Don't get hooked at a young age, like I did! 1.3556 0.06183 90 63 22 5
1299 This catch and release thing is getting a bit out of hand 1.3556 0.06183 90 63 22 5
1300 If your friends say he’s looking for a trophy wife, take them seriously. 1.3556 0.06183 90 63 22 5
1301 I thought I hated country music before... 1.3556 0.06762 90 66 16 8
1302 It's called "immortality"... 1.3556 0.06574 90 65 18 7
1303 Apparently, I clashed with the drapes. 1.3556 0.06382 90 64 20 6
1304 Carpe Diem! 1.3556 0.06382 90 64 20 6
1305 1 year hangin' on a wall, 2 years in the back of a closet then, boom, back in the ocean. 1.3556 0.06574 90 65 18 7
1306 Seriously. I can be your trophy husband. 1.3556 0.05978 90 62 24 4
1307 I tried flossing but couldn't get rid of the plaque 1.3556 0.06382 90 64 20 6
1308 still can't believe they decided to eat jimmy and hang me 1.3556 0.06382 90 64 20 6
1309 So you took the bait?” “And then I was framed! 1.3556 0.06382 90 64 20 6
1310 It's not gonna be alright! 1.3556 0.06762 90 66 16 8
1311 My advice? Stay small and unimpressive. 1.3548 0.06602 93 68 17 8
1312 No not bored. I'm board. B, O, A, R, D. 1.3545 0.06138 110 81 19 10
1313 It's an unfortunate variation on the practice of "catch & release" 1.3542 0.06279 96 69 20 7
1314 You wanted a trophy wife. Be careful what you wish for! 1.3542 0.06279 96 69 20 7
1315 Just ‘cause I’m on the board, doesn’t mean I make the decisions. 1.3540 0.06018 113 83 20 10
1316 Don’t make the same mistake as your old man, just stay in school and swim downstream! 1.3537 0.06104 82 56 23 3
1317 It strengthens my core. 1.3537 0.06578 82 58 19 5
1318 No, I swear I haven’t had any work done. 1.3537 0.06803 82 59 17 6
1319 I call it suburban camouflage 1.3535 0.05432 99 67 29 3
1320 You always wanted a trophy wife. 1.3535 0.06310 99 72 19 8
1321 Don’t ever swipe right for anyone named Big Mouth Billy Bass. 1.3535 0.06310 99 72 19 8
1322 No, I'm not singing anymore. 1.3529 0.06841 85 62 16 7
1323 When they say catch and release, don't believe them. 1.3529 0.06176 102 74 20 8
1324 This,young man,is what immortality looks like. 1.3529 0.05726 85 57 26 2
1325 I hear what you're saying, and I'm on board 1.3529 0.06017 102 73 22 7
1326 Don't call me a trophy wife! 1.3529 0.06017 102 73 22 7
1327 Whatever you do, DON’T go to Wisconsin 1.3529 0.06331 102 75 18 9
1328 Show business isn’t as glamorous as everybody thinks. 1.3524 0.05410 105 72 29 4
1329 So you got a trophy wife. Happy now? 1.3523 0.06672 88 64 17 7
1330 I think I've hit a wall in our relationship 1.3523 0.06672 88 64 17 7
1331 All for a worm. 1.3523 0.06473 88 63 19 6
1332 I had never appreciated what it meant to be a trophy wife. 1.3523 0.06268 88 62 21 5
1333 You "bubbling" to me? You "bubbling" to me?... 1.3523 0.06268 88 62 21 5
1334 Sorry I’m late. They took forever throwing me back. 1.3523 0.06473 88 63 19 6
1335 The worst part is, I really HATE that song. 1.3519 0.05929 108 78 22 8
1336 How were you caught? I was framed! 1.3516 0.06514 91 66 18 7
1337 I had to open my big mouth! 1.3516 0.06323 91 65 20 6
1338 I refused to sing Baby Shark. 1.3516 0.06878 91 68 14 9
1339 Dinner? No thanks I'm stuffed. 1.3516 0.06698 91 67 16 8
1340 Yeah, not what I thought “trophy wife” meant either. 1.3516 0.06127 91 64 22 5
1341 Working from home is GREAT you say? 1.3516 0.06514 91 66 18 7
1342 Take the damn picture! 1.3516 0.07054 91 69 12 10
1343 Big fish, little pond. 1.3516 0.06323 91 65 20 6
1344 It's called modified catch & release 1.3516 0.05715 91 62 26 3
1345 At least MY school still appreciates the arts. 1.3516 0.06323 91 65 20 6
1346 Did you see a deer head go by here? 1.3516 0.06698 91 67 16 8
1347 For the hundredth time,it is not a surf board. 1.3516 0.06514 91 66 18 7
1348 I think it brings out my eyes. 1.3516 0.06323 91 65 20 6
1349 I'm so board! 1.3511 0.06715 94 70 15 9
1350 I will not be your trophy wife! 1.3511 0.05995 94 66 23 5
1351 I am nobody's "trophy wife"! 1.3511 0.05995 94 66 23 5
1352 And then in front of all his buddies he called me his trophy wife. 1.3511 0.06542 94 69 17 8
1353 ‘You’re a singing fish, you’ll be famous,’ you said. 1.3511 0.05995 94 66 23 5
1354 Must be nice to be out in the world again. I'm stuck at home bored. 1.3511 0.06365 94 68 19 7
1355 …and then they asked me to sing. 1.3511 0.05995 94 66 23 5
1356 When I accepted the nomination to be a board member, this is not what I had in mind! 1.3511 0.06365 94 68 19 7
1357 Your bored? 1.3505 0.06395 97 71 18 8
1358 I need to see my dentist, I think I have plaque… 1.3505 0.06561 97 72 16 9
1359 You think catch and release is stressful? Wait until you experienced catch, taxidermy, mount on a wall for a year, and release. 1.3505 0.06225 97 70 20 7
1360 Don't judge what you don't understand! 1.3505 0.06395 97 71 18 8
1361 Yeah, so I'm a trophy wife 1.3505 0.06395 97 71 18 8
1362 They stuck a voice box up my...flipper. 1.3505 0.06225 97 70 20 7
1363 Believe it or not, I used to be a very well-known singer. 1.3500 0.06188 80 55 22 3
1364 I tellin’ ya, I was framed. 1.3500 0.06913 80 58 16 6
1365 I won the election.... Really! 1.3500 0.06913 80 58 16 6
1366 What do you mean, I better have a good excuse?! 1.3500 0.06439 80 56 20 4
1367 Well Yea... I guess technically it's still catch and release 1.3500 0.05573 100 69 27 4
1368 You're life is bad? I have to sing "Achy Breaky Heart" for eternity. 1.3495 0.05806 103 73 24 6
1369 I escaped the boat and all I got was this lousy plaque. 1.3495 0.06125 103 75 20 8
1370 It really wasn't my retirement plan. 1.3495 0.05292 103 73 26 4
1371 Yes Joan it fits. Now can you unhook me? 1.3494 0.06734 83 60 17 6
1372 I hate when they drink. 1.3494 0.06283 83 58 21 4
1373 All I asked was what is waterboarding 1.3494 0.06949 83 61 15 7
1374 I'm sorry. I wasn't cheating on you. I only got one phone call and I used it to call my mom. 1.3494 0.06949 83 61 15 7
1375 Wow,a fisherman with a sick sense of humor! 1.3494 0.06949 83 61 15 7
1376 Turns out “planking” is not what I thought it was. 1.3494 0.06045 83 57 23 3
1377 It’s the mounting social pressure, you know? 1.3494 0.06949 83 61 15 7
1378 Don't be happy, and be very, very worried. 1.3494 0.06734 83 60 17 6
1379 Sorry - still in my uniform, came straight from work. 1.3494 0.06734 83 60 17 6
1380 First, you get a tune stuck in your head, then you're caught! 1.3488 0.06356 86 61 20 5
1381 I made a contribution to my kids’ school and then they asked me to be on the board. 1.3488 0.05910 86 59 24 3
1382 Go Ahead," you said. "It's just a tasty worm," you said. Well I hope you are satisfied 1.3488 0.06137 86 60 22 4
1383 Yes. You were right. It wasn’t worth it. 1.3488 0.06356 86 61 20 5
1384 If they ever offer you an award turn it down 1.3488 0.06137 86 60 22 4
1385 This is not exactly what I envisioned when you said Trophy Wife 1.3488 0.06568 86 62 18 6
1386 Well it LOOKED like a surf board.Get over it! 1.3488 0.06356 86 61 20 5
1387 They leave you alone if they think you are already dead. 1.3488 0.06568 86 62 18 6
1388 It’s a weird, weird world up there, Marsha. 1.3488 0.06137 86 60 22 4
1389 I’m Being Framed! 1.3488 0.06568 86 62 18 6
1390 I’m sick and tired of being objectified all the time! 1.3488 0.05910 86 59 24 3
1391 He decided he didn't want a trophy wife. 1.3486 0.05738 109 78 24 7
1392 Can you believe this? They threw me out. Said I was a bigmouth. 1.3486 0.05884 109 79 22 8
1393 Clearly, this guy does not understand catch and release.” 1.3483 0.06799 89 66 15 8
1394 This is not what you want to be when you grow up. 1.3483 0.05784 89 61 25 3
1395 They threw me overboard when we lost the license to use "Take Me to the River". 1.3483 0.06001 89 62 23 4
1396 At least it shows someone is proud of me 1.3483 0.06210 89 63 21 5
1397 They took me to the river, they dropped me in the water... 1.3483 0.06210 89 63 21 5
1398 I always wanted to be a trophy spouse. 1.3483 0.06001 89 62 23 4
1399 And it’s my bad side! I mean, seriously, the rest of my life like this? 1.3483 0.06001 89 62 23 4
1400 You agreed that I would be more than just a trophy wife. 1.3483 0.06001 89 62 23 4
1401 Yea you can swim straight but can you sing!?! 1.3483 0.06001 89 65 19 5
1402 No, no more food thanks, I'm stuffed to the gills 1.3483 0.06412 89 64 19 6
1403 Me and my big mouth always gets me in trouble! 1.3478 0.06454 92 67 18 7
1404 ... and then they’d take the batteries out as if they didn’t want to hear me sing. 1.3478 0.06454 92 67 18 7
1405 You can chose to float disgracefully to the surface and rot in the sun, but for me, the afterlife is a wood-paneled den with books; down-filled, tartan-plaid sofas; leather recliners; and Waterford crystal decanters . 1.3478 0.06454 92 67 18 7
1406 This is what you get for being a big mouth. 1.3478 0.05872 92 64 24 4
1407 No, I'm not trying to mount you! 1.3478 0.06454 92 67 18 7
1408 Look at it. How can you misspell CARP? 1.3478 0.06636 92 68 16 8
1409 Well, it turns out I was wrong about that shortcut 1.3478 0.06266 92 66 20 6
1410 I’ll be reinstated by August 1.3478 0.06454 92 67 18 7
1411 They told me it was working from home ! 1.3478 0.05872 92 64 24 4
1412 Up there they worship a guy like me 1.3478 0.05665 92 63 26 3
1413 I got sick of being introduced as: “the one that didn’t get away”. 1.3474 0.05943 95 67 23 5
1414 I hope you’re happy- I’ve finally become that trophy wife you’ve always wanted me to be. 1.3474 0.05751 95 66 25 4
1415 Not quite what I had in mind when they said ‘ocean preservation’ 1.3474 0.06308 95 69 19 7
1416 Because it makes me look like a keeper, that's why." 1.3469 0.05637 98 68 26 4
1417 All I know is that I will outlive you 1.3469 0.05998 98 70 22 6
1418 Lesson learned, your ass! 1.3469 0.05637 98 68 26 4
1419 You know, I'm more than just a trophy wife! 1.3469 0.05998 98 70 22 6
1420 You’re feeling stuck in life? Seriously? 1.3469 0.06340 98 72 18 8
1421 I was not caught! I was chosen to be a model! 1.3465 0.05529 101 70 27 4
1422 And they didn't even get my good side! 1.3462 0.05595 104 73 26 5
1423 So one guy who had a bit too much to drink said, Ok, I'll take you to the river!!! 1.3462 0.07027 78 57 15 6
1424 I'm a "catch and release" species! 1.3462 0.06004 78 53 23 2
1425 It was humiliating. I only got third prize. 1.3462 0.06276 78 54 21 3
1426 You got any double A batteries? 1.3462 0.05760 104 74 24 6
1427 You were right...I should have stayed in school! 1.3462 0.07260 78 58 13 7
1428 See where those singing lessons got me? 1.3462 0.05920 104 75 22 7
1429 I warned ya not to push my buttons. 1.3462 0.06786 78 56 17 5
1430 I refused to sing that damn song anymore 1.3462 0.07027 78 57 15 6
1431 Could I get the name of your taxidermist? My guy retired during the pandemic. 1.3462 0.06276 78 54 21 3
1432 This is what happens when you leave your school and play hooky. 1.3458 0.05804 107 77 23 7
1433 C’mon! Get on board! 1.3458 0.05954 107 78 21 8
1434 Thought I was going in for a fin replacement. 1.3458 0.06100 107 79 19 9
1435 You won't believe what I had to do to get back here. 1.3457 0.06611 81 60 15 6
1436 No, I am not a vision board. 1.3457 0.07062 81 60 14 7
1437 Believe me, you're lucky I grabbed the bait first. 1.3457 0.06840 81 59 16 6
1438 Thanks but I'm stuffed 1.3457 0.06611 81 58 18 5
1439 Boy am I stuffed 1.3457 0.06611 81 58 18 5
1440 I thought being a trophy wife would be liberating 1.3457 0.06373 81 57 20 4
1441 you’re having an existential crisis? 1.3457 0.07278 81 61 12 8
1442 And then he said: ‘he’s the new member of the board’ 1.3457 0.07062 81 60 14 7
1443 Didn't I once see you on TV? 1.3457 0.05869 81 55 24 2
1444 How do you know if you don't try it?", you said 1.3452 0.07084 84 63 13 8
1445 Maybe I want to look cheap! 1.3452 0.06667 84 61 17 6
1446 OK, so I’m a trophy wife! What of it?! 1.3452 0.07284 84 64 11 9
1447 Being a trophy husband was supposed to liberate me! 1.3452 0.05987 84 58 23 3
1448 It was a fad. 1.3452 0.06667 84 61 17 6
1449 The turning radius on this thing is terrible. 1.3452 0.06667 84 61 17 6
1450 Look... it's a job ok? 1.3452 0.06448 84 60 19 5
1451 And you said to turn left with the school. 1.3448 0.06080 87 61 22 4
1452 Well, at least it's made out of basswood. 1.3448 0.06296 87 62 20 5
1453 I'm bored! 1.3448 0.06707 87 64 16 7
1454 I'm dressing for the job I want. 1.3448 0.06504 87 63 18 6
1455 As they say, beauty is a curse. 1.3448 0.06296 87 62 20 5
1456 They threw me back when they moved! 1.3448 0.06707 87 64 16 7
1457 Don't fall for that line 1.3448 0.06707 87 64 16 7
1458 Don’t take the bait! Some guy up there clearly doesn’t understand catch and release. 1.3448 0.05623 87 59 26 2
1459 No, I’ve never seen The Sopranos. Why does everyone keep asking me that?! 1.3448 0.07280 87 67 10 10
1460 There are disadvantages to keeping a trophy wife happy. 1.3444 0.05733 90 62 25 3
1461 My doctor says it's plaque buildup 1.3444 0.06352 90 65 19 6
1462 Son, you gotta get out there and find purpose in your life. 1.3444 0.06546 90 66 17 7
1463 You can erase all kinds of mistakes, but if you're a trophy wife just once, you never get rid of it. 1.3444 0.06734 90 67 15 8
1464 I told you he was out to frame you but you didn't listen! 1.3444 0.06153 90 64 21 5
1465 A bit of advice, avoid shiny objects with a string attached 1.3444 0.06734 90 67 15 8
1466 This pandemic Marie Kondo’ed me” 1.3444 0.06153 90 64 21 5
1467 If you knew what I went through to get back here...! 1.3441 0.06209 93 67 20 6
1468 I'm telling ya, don't eat the damn worms. 1.3441 0.06018 93 66 22 5
1469 And the trophy wife gets the last laugh... 1.3441 0.06018 93 66 22 5
1470 And then after all that the jerk says ‘Yeah, I guess he is pretty small. Maybe I should throw him back.’ 1.3441 0.06018 93 66 22 5
1471 they lure you in with promises of fame, but they don’t tell you that you become theirs forever 1.3441 0.05821 93 65 24 4
1472 So you’re the one that ‘got away’!!! 1.3438 0.06075 96 69 21 6
1473 Why does everyone treat me like I’m just your trophy wife? 1.3438 0.06253 96 70 19 7
1474 I didn’t choose the trophy life, the trophy life chose me 1.3438 0.05892 96 68 23 5
1475 You really wanna talk about being up against a wall? # 1.3438 0.05892 96 68 23 5
1476 Yes, technically speaking, I was caught and released! 1.3434 0.05948 99 71 22 6
1477 They said: room and board 1.3434 0.05772 99 70 24 5
1478 Yeah, once I dropped out of school, this seemed to be my best option. 1.3431 0.05992 102 74 21 7
1479 Not only that, they make me sing. 1.3431 0.06308 102 76 17 9
1480 That's what they told me ... no strings attached! 1.3421 0.06637 76 54 18 4
1481 My dentist said I had waaaay too much plaque! 1.3418 0.06467 79 56 19 4
1482 It's a trade-off: creative freedom for job security. 1.3418 0.06713 79 57 17 5
1483 Yeh, the HR department calls it "onboarding." 1.3418 0.07403 79 60 11 8
1484 And they hang you, in the ugliest room in the house. 1.3418 0.06211 79 55 21 3
1485 Hope you are happy, I said take out but noooo you wanted fresh caught flies... 1.3418 0.06211 79 55 21 3
1486 Does this outfit make me look big? 1.3418 0.06713 79 57 17 5
1487 Get on board! Get on board!" If I heard it once, I heard it a thousand times 1.3418 0.06211 79 55 21 3
1488 He had me mounted and THEN threw me back! 1.3418 0.06467 79 56 19 4
1489 Don't take the bait, kid. 1.3418 0.06713 79 57 17 5
1490 I'll have you know I WON the competition, thank you very much. 1.3418 0.06951 79 58 15 6
1491 Some joker added 'Holy' to Mackerel!". 1.3415 0.06309 82 58 20 4
1492 So if you see a guppy with a string coming out of its ass, just pass. 1.3415 0.06770 82 60 16 6
1493 Mount has many meanings. 1.3415 0.06989 82 61 14 7
1494 Being retired suits me just fine. 1.3415 0.06770 82 60 16 6
1495 At least he appreciates me. 1.3415 0.05547 82 55 26 1
1496 Adding insult to injury, they’re converting his office into a nursery! 1.3415 0.06066 82 57 22 3
1497 Don’t look at me like that. I have bills to pay. 1.3415 0.06770 82 60 16 6
1498 Oh yeah? Well you EAT plastic 1.3415 0.06066 82 57 22 3
1499 I see you are onboard 1.3412 0.07012 85 64 13 8
1500 Better than a plate. 1.3412 0.07209 85 65 11 9
1501 The dentist said I have a bad case of plaque. 1.3412 0.06600 85 62 17 6
1502 His wife told him to clean out his man cave. 1.3412 0.06161 85 60 21 4
1503 Your generation just doesn’t work hard enough to to get this kind of recognition! 1.3412 0.06600 85 62 17 6
1504 I got board waiting for you. 1.3412 0.06385 85 61 19 5
1505 Yeah, well I think you’re off-the-wall. 1.3412 0.07012 85 64 13 8
1506 I was once like you: wild, footloose and fancy free! Then I got hooked. 1.3412 0.06600 85 62 17 6
1507 You’re making a bass of yourself! 1.3412 0.06161 85 60 21 4
1508 I wouldn’t be here if I hadn’t opened my big mouth. 1.3412 0.06600 85 62 17 6
1509 The kid heard me singing "Don't Worry, Be Happy," and, thinking I was still alive, threw me back. 1.3409 0.06442 88 64 18 6
1510 At least I was a prize catch. What will you ever mount to? 1.3409 0.06023 88 62 22 4
1511 I'm not just a "good catch." I'm a GREAT catch. 1.3409 0.06642 88 65 16 7
1512 I’m off the wall. 1.3409 0.06442 88 64 18 6
1513 I told you not to leave me hanging. 1.3409 0.06023 88 62 22 4
1514 But its the first time I've ever won anything! 1.3409 0.06236 88 63 20 5
1515 My dentist said, "brush, floss, and rinse to reduce plaque" but I didn't listen 1.3409 0.06642 88 65 16 7
1516 Twenty years in that school and all I got was this stupid plaque. 1.3409 0.06236 88 63 20 5
1517 You said we were going to a costume party 1.3409 0.06236 88 63 20 5
1518 His wife said it was her or fishing,so. here I am. 1.3407 0.06294 91 66 19 6
1519 No requests, it's "Take me to the river" or nothing. 1.3407 0.06670 91 68 15 8
1520 Now are you content with being runner-up? 1.3407 0.06670 91 68 15 8
1521 Are you sure you told me everything about catch and release? 1.3407 0.05682 91 63 25 3
1522 I once lived with Tony Soprano, now I sleep with the fish 1.3407 0.05893 91 64 23 4
1523 Stop talking, Greg - you're driving me up a wall. 1.3404 0.06337 94 69 18 7
1524 At least I didn't end up in a frying pan. 1.3404 0.05965 94 67 22 5
1525 So this happened at my remote school. 1.3404 0.06154 94 68 20 6
1526 Trophy wife is more than you can hope for. 1.3404 0.05965 94 67 22 5
1527 They said I would be on the school board. 1.3404 0.06515 94 70 16 8
1528 I was just released from rehab...I got hooked on worms. 1.3404 0.06154 94 68 20 6
1529 Corporate life sucks. 1.3402 0.05841 97 69 23 5
1530 Then you said, “First one gets the worm!” 1.3402 0.05841 97 69 23 5
1531 I just refused to sing "Take Me to the River" any more. 1.3402 0.05841 97 69 23 5
1532 Yup, waterproof batteries, and it’s William, not Billy. 1.3402 0.06198 97 71 19 7
1533 What do you mean you don't want a trophy wife? 1.3402 0.05654 97 68 25 4
1534 Whatever you do, DO NOT tell them you know how to sing. 1.3402 0.05841 97 69 23 5
1535 Yes, I know it looks a little off the wall, but -- incredible lumbar support. 1.3402 0.06022 97 70 21 6
1536 Fly, good. Fly with hook, not good. 1.3400 0.05168 100 68 30 2
1537 Their catch and release policy has a catch 1.3400 0.05898 100 72 22 6
1538 Trust me, being a catch isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. 1.3400 0.06067 100 73 20 7
1539 Don't ever let yourself become a trophy wife. 1.3396 0.06271 106 80 16 10
1540 Why don’t you tell me?! You bought the tequila shots 1.3396 0.05343 106 74 28 4
1541 Don't worry you said! It's a real fly you said! 1.3378 0.06462 74 52 19 3
1542 These nice people swam by and invited me for dinner. 1.3378 0.06742 74 53 17 4
1543 Be honest, does this board make me look fat? 1.3378 0.06462 74 52 19 3
1544 Is this how Jesus felt? 1.3378 0.07521 74 56 11 7
1545 They also save the fish by using metal straws 1.3378 0.05861 74 50 23 1
1546 If you can't support my career choices then at least admit modeling is a valid occupation. 1.3377 0.06820 77 56 16 5
1547 Well I could have offered you some stability. 1.3377 0.06820 77 56 16 5
1548 Does this make me look fat? 1.3377 0.06820 77 56 16 5
1549 It stinks being the big fish in a small pond 1.3377 0.06565 77 55 18 4
1550 Whatever you do, don’t sing Take Me to the River 1.3377 0.06565 77 55 18 4
1551 Actually, you probably should be worried. 1.3377 0.06565 77 55 18 4
1552 Well, you said "play dead"! 1.3377 0.06820 77 56 16 5
1553 He's a King Mackerel and I'm his third trophy wife. 1.3375 0.06643 80 58 17 5
1554 That was not in the spirit of 'catch and release' 1.3375 0.06877 80 59 15 6
1555 Swim fast, die young. 1.3375 0.06643 80 58 17 5
1556 I hear his new wife is under the legal limit! 1.3375 0.06877 80 59 15 6
1557 I'm pretty sure this isn't how "catch and release" is supposed to work. 1.3375 0.07103 80 60 13 7
1558 This is how I get to be part of 1%. 1.3375 0.06643 80 58 17 5
1559 Plankton, not planking! 1.3373 0.06006 83 58 22 3
1560 I went to the dentist to get my plaque removed, but she didn't have the right tools. 1.3373 0.06700 83 61 16 6
1561 You wanted a trophy wife! 1.3373 0.06477 83 60 18 5
1562 I still am an apex predator. It gives me the advantage of surprise. 1.3373 0.05757 83 57 24 2
1563 Can you find a swordfish who can get me off of this thing ? 1.3373 0.06246 83 59 20 4
1564 They made it sound like such a good gig. Then you find out the people who like this kind of stuff are dumber than us fish. 1.3373 0.06477 83 60 18 5
1565 I've been saying it for years and I told Steve at the last meeting, there needs to be universal standards for time-out-of-water that constitutes Catch and Release. You know what he told me? I was too close to the issue. 1.3373 0.06477 83 60 18 5
1566 Yeah, I can talk. I'm a little off-the-wall. 1.3373 0.06246 83 59 20 4
1567 And that’s what you get for being a pain in the bass 1.3373 0.06246 83 59 20 4
1568 I’m a winner! Why can’t you be happy for me? 1.3373 0.06246 83 59 20 4
1569 So can you tell my wife I’m going to be hung up for a while? 1.3373 0.06477 83 60 18 5
1570 Honestly, being a trophy wife is really weighing me down. 1.3373 0.06477 83 60 18 5
1571 I specifically told them to get me on my good side! 1.3372 0.06535 86 63 17 6
1572 I know it sounds crazy, but I just wanted a stable place to live during the pandemic. 1.3372 0.05874 86 60 23 3
1573 I’’m not just your trophy wife! 1.3372 0.06102 86 61 21 4
1574 It's not easy being a trophy wife. 1.3372 0.06322 86 62 19 5
1575 Who you calling Big Mouth? 1.3372 0.06102 86 61 21 4
1576 How's it hanging? 1.3372 0.06535 86 63 17 6
1577 You always said that You wanted a trophy wife... 1.3372 0.06535 86 63 17 6
1578 Don't ask. It's a long story. 1.3372 0.05874 86 60 23 3
1579 I've come back to haunt you. 1.3372 0.06535 86 63 17 6
1580 I swear, the human who got me was thiiiis big 1.3372 0.06322 86 62 19 5
1581 Okay, fine, I'm a leftist. 1.3371 0.06177 89 64 20 5
1582 See? Someone thinks I am special. 1.3371 0.06381 89 65 18 6
1583 What exactly did you expect when you wished for a trophy wife? 1.3371 0.05967 89 63 22 4
1584 It’s not the board I mind, it’s the dumb song. 1.3371 0.06177 89 64 20 5
1585 Don't fall for the feathered mermaid 1.3371 0.06177 89 64 20 5
1586 His wife said: "I'm sick and tired of looking at that damned fish, why don't you throw it back?" So he did. 1.3371 0.06578 89 66 16 7
1587 The novelty of being out of water eventually wears off. 1.3371 0.06177 89 64 20 5
1588 One bad fish joke too many, and they literally nail you to the wall! 1.3371 0.06177 89 64 20 5
1589 Quit whining - try swimming up stream attached to this…my back is killing me. 1.3371 0.06177 89 64 20 5
1590 I can’t believe you fell for the phishing scam 1.3371 0.05967 89 63 22 4
1591 Apparently they thought this was the more eco friendly option. 1.3371 0.06769 89 67 14 8
1592 'Chairman of the board?' Not funny, Ted 1.3371 0.06177 89 64 20 5
1593 You have 2 eyes and can turn right! Big deal!! 1.3370 0.06424 92 68 17 7
1594 Okay, I’ll be a trophy husband. Now will you marry me? 1.3370 0.06786 92 70 13 9
1595 I don’t appreciate the trophy wife tag! 1.3370 0.05840 92 65 23 4
1596 This is what happens, son, when you don't tow the line. 1.3370 0.06041 92 66 21 5
1597 Look here, son. This is your future. 1.3370 0.05416 92 63 27 2
1598 I wish he would have decided to throw me back sooner 1.3368 0.06456 95 71 16 8
1599 Fine time to tell me Krazy Glue isn't water-soluble! 1.3368 0.06099 95 69 20 6
1600 Last thing I remember is starting to sing... 1.3368 0.05720 95 67 24 4
1601 Yeah, I know, I know.... I should've stayed in school. 1.3368 0.05913 95 68 22 5
1602 I've been better, Bob! 1.3368 0.05913 95 68 22 5
1603 All I sang was "Take me to the river, drop me in the water..." 1.3367 0.06313 98 73 17 8
1604 Dress for the job you want! I’m dressed for retirement! 1.3367 0.05971 98 71 21 6
1605 The sign said "Catch and release!" 1.3365 0.06051 104 77 19 8
1606 You want my advice? Always read the prenup if you're a trophy wife. 1.3365 0.05734 104 75 23 6
1607 What?! I thought it said "boarding school"! 1.3365 0.05569 104 74 25 5
1608 Don't end up just being a trophy wife like your Mother. 1.3365 0.06051 104 77 19 8
1609 No matter how good it looks, if it's on a hook, just say no. 1.3364 0.05930 107 79 20 8
1610 Would you please not refer to me as your trophy husband? 1.3362 0.05604 116 85 23 8
1611 Try it, what can go wrong?” she said. And like a fool, I did 1.3360 0.05199 125 90 28 7
1612 I'm on the Board of Directors. 1.3333 0.06560 72 51 18 3
1613 It completely blocks your view, and it's a struggle just to stay underwater 1.3333 0.06261 87 63 19 5
1614 He caught a bigger fish. 1.3333 0.06932 75 55 15 5
1615 It's called 'playing possum'. 1.3333 0.06185 84 60 20 4
1616 Stay in school kid, or you’ll end up like me. 1.3333 0.06989 78 58 14 6
1617 So I said to my ex: “I’m more than a trophy wife, I should be on the board.” 1.3333 0.06002 105 78 19 8
1618 I asked you to order me stationery not stationary! 1.3333 0.06091 99 73 19 7
1619 I’m NOT angry. I’m bored. 1.3333 0.06179 93 68 19 6
1620 It’s not even cedar. 1.3333 0.06044 87 62 21 4
1621 Ever heard of salmon on a cedar plank, dumb bass? 1.3333 0.07252 84 65 10 9
1622 They freaked out when I started singing, "take me to the river, drop me in the water." 1.3333 0.06412 84 61 18 5
1623 Don’t let your children grow up to be trophies 1.3333 0.06704 90 68 14 8
1624 If only they had chosen my good side... 1.3333 0.06086 81 57 21 3
1625 I know we see eye to eye, but you’re clearly not on board with me! 1.3333 0.06046 96 70 20 6
1626 Haven't you ever heard of a trophy wife? 1.3333 0.06471 87 64 17 6
1627 When you’re a sucker like me, kid, it’s so easy to get hooked by some bright, shiny object. 1.3333 0.06185 84 60 20 4
1628 Harold when you said I was your trophy wife I was not expecting this 1.3333 0.06932 75 55 15 5
1629 Why? Their ad said the opening was for a well-schooled, verbal chum seeking a permanent position. 1.3333 0.07244 81 62 11 8
1630 No the plate isn't blue! 1.3333 0.06086 81 57 21 3
1631 I don't care, this is still better than singing that river song again. 1.3333 0.06804 81 60 15 6
1632 I saw the worm but not the...what's the word? Hook. 1.3333 0.06412 84 61 18 5
1633 So much for joking about being a trophy Husband 1.3333 0.06471 87 64 17 6
1634 All I am to you is a trophy-husband. 1.3333 0.06179 93 68 19 6
1635 They decided they have other fish to fry so they sent me back. 1.3333 0.06391 75 53 19 3
1636 'Don't worry,' I told them. 'Be happy,' I said. Now look at me. 1.3333 0.06573 81 59 17 5
1637 I’ll be your trophy wife, if you’ll be my arm candy! 1.3333 0.06412 84 61 18 5
1638 Believe me,winning isn’t everything, kid. 1.3333 0.06573 81 59 17 5
1639 Definitely passing on the trophy wife. Plenty of other fish in the sea. 1.3333 0.06258 99 74 17 8
1640 I'm stuffed. Can we skip dinner? 1.3333 0.06365 93 69 17 7
1641 Some men treat me like a prize. 1.3333 0.05819 87 61 23 3
1642 They never get your good side. 1.3333 0.06675 87 65 15 7
1643 My dentist says I’ve got plaque buildup. 1.3333 0.06179 93 68 19 6
1644 Whaddya mean “Will I be home for dinner?” I AM dinner, damn it! 1.3333 0.06091 99 73 19 7
1645 The only upside is nobody can clap down here. 1.3333 0.06255 72 50 20 2
1646 Say no to the free plaque. 1.3333 0.07223 78 59 12 7
1647 The mounting was NOT consensual. 1.3333 0.07027 81 61 13 7
1648 I can’t believe I went to Julliard for this! 1.3333 0.06102 75 55 17 3
1649 after they divorced...she threw me out. 1.3333 0.05801 102 74 22 6
1650 I sang that stupid song one too many times. 1.3333 0.05861 96 69 22 5
1651 It was terrifying to go through this but even more insulting when I was thrown away. 1.3333 0.06546 93 70 15 8
1652 Haven't you ever seen a wall-eyed pike before? 1.3333 0.06723 93 71 13 9
1653 Bass. William Bass. 1.3333 0.06495 78 56 18 4
1654 There's a catch to catch-and-release. 1.3333 0.06091 99 73 19 7
1655 Don’t tell me about angler management. 1.3333 0.06471 87 64 17 6
1656 See,I told your mother I was a good catch. 1.3333 0.06632 84 62 16 6
1657 I’m nobodies trophy wife! 1.3333 0.05799 75 51 23 1
1658 Go to the surface they said.... it’ll be fun they said 1.3333 0.06334 81 58 19 4
1659 If you ever find out you have a lovely baritone voice... keep it to yourself 1.3333 0.06179 93 68 19 6
1660 I prefer to call it planked… 1.3333 0.06471 87 64 17 6
1661 I’m not on board with this one 1.3333 0.05674 78 53 24 1
1662 So I sang “take me to the river. Drop me in the water.” And here I am 1.3333 0.06261 87 65 16 6
1663 Being a trophy fish is not all that cracked up to be! 1.3333 0.06888 90 69 12 9
1664 It’s a performance piece. 1.3333 0.06398 96 72 16 8
1665 Must be nice to have a big brother whose mistakes you can learn from. 1.3333 0.06334 81 58 19 4
1666 Can you believe this is the backdrop for the Senior photos this year? 1.3333 0.06746 78 57 16 5
1667 I had to reinvent myself, Joe. 1.3333 0.07223 78 59 12 7
1668 I sang to the Feds. How’d you get here? 1.3333 0.06120 90 65 20 5
1669 Next time YOU go first 1.3333 0.06102 75 54 18 3
1670 Alright, I think I’m done being an exemplary role model 1.3333 0.05444 84 57 26 1
1671 I told you it's just a temporary job, Lisa 1.3333 0.06321 90 66 18 6
1672 Weren’t you a singer in the late 90’s? 1.3333 0.06185 84 60 20 4
1673 No, I don’t want to hear about your weekend 1.3299 0.05811 97 70 22 5
1674 My dentists said this plaque could lead to finvivitus. 1.3298 0.06486 94 71 15 8
1675 I'm so much more than your trophy husband! 1.3298 0.06123 94 69 19 6
1676 They could have unmounted me before they threw me back in. 1.3298 0.06307 94 70 17 7
1677 No. I don’t want to talk about it, Gary. 1.3298 0.05933 94 68 21 5
1678 I was a fish out of water once. 1.3297 0.06261 91 67 18 6
1679 The class description said “Learn to plank!” 1.3297 0.06640 91 69 14 8
1680 I’m telling you I was framed! 1.3297 0.06640 91 69 14 8
1681 And they all said I’d never aMOUNT to anything! 1.3297 0.05646 91 64 24 3
1682 It happened after I answered a phony Email, something called phishing! 1.3295 0.06609 88 66 15 7
1683 They could have at least let me pick the song. 1.3295 0.05987 88 63 21 4
1684 I had to pretend I was dead for 6 years before I could make my break. 1.3295 0.06993 88 68 11 9
1685 those singing lessons were a big mistake 1.3295 0.06409 88 65 17 6
1686 Catch and release was not quite what I thought. 1.3295 0.06609 88 66 15 7
1687 I guess it was technically catch and release. 1.3295 0.05765 88 62 23 3
1688 Do I look board to you ? 1.3295 0.06409 88 65 17 6
1689 I feel safer up here anyways 1.3295 0.05534 88 61 25 2
1690 When I said mount me, this wasn’t what I had in mind! 1.3295 0.06804 88 67 13 8
1691 I never want to hear that song again. 1.3294 0.06565 85 63 16 6
1692 They're redoing the den. 1.3294 0.06348 85 62 18 5
1693 I said it before and I’ll say it again: I been framed! 1.3294 0.06124 85 61 20 4
1694 No, I'm not the fish who made it big singing "Don't worry, be happy" 1.3294 0.06348 85 62 18 5
1695 But you wanted a trophy wife 1.3294 0.06565 85 63 16 6
1696 Being on the board isn’t all that it’s cracked up to be. 1.3294 0.06124 85 61 20 4
1697 It’s clear you only view me as a trophy husband 1.3294 0.06565 85 63 16 6
1698 Taxidermy! I asked you to get a taxi for me! 1.3293 0.06953 82 62 13 7
1699 Oh yeah? Well, look where being the bigest fish in your school got me! 1.3293 0.06270 82 59 19 4
1700 They don't write Disney movies about MY escape story. 1.3293 0.06270 82 59 19 4
1701 Don't worship fame, kid. It'll get you hooked. 1.3293 0.07166 82 63 11 8
1702 I didn't win anything. I AM the trophy! 1.3293 0.06953 82 62 13 7
1703 Just wait...I was his first trophy wife and it’s not all that great! 1.3293 0.06733 82 61 15 6
1704 Going up there was a big mistake 1.3293 0.06505 82 60 17 5
1705 Nothing much, just channel surfing. 1.3291 0.06426 79 57 18 4
1706 These idiots don’t understand how “catch and release” is supposed to work. 1.3291 0.06674 79 58 16 5
1707 Furthermore, I resent being called stuffy! 1.3291 0.06674 79 58 16 5
1708 Take it from me, kid. Stay away from worms. 1.3291 0.06912 79 59 14 6
1709 It's my Halloween costume. 1.3291 0.06674 79 58 16 5
1710 I am going places, chum. Remember the name: Big Mouth Billy Bass! 1.3291 0.06912 79 59 14 6
1711 How do you THINK I feel? 1.3291 0.06674 79 58 16 5
1712 Who keeps saying I’m not hung? 1.3291 0.06168 79 56 20 3
1713 Yeah? Let me hear you say that when your butt’s nailed to a board. 1.3291 0.06426 79 57 18 4
1714 get away! You’ll blow my cover. 1.3291 0.06426 79 57 18 4
1715 I don't take requests. 1.3289 0.06593 76 55 17 4
1716 NO! I don't know "take me to the river"!! You're the 25th person to ask me today!! 1.3289 0.07348 76 58 11 7
1717 TAKE ME TO THE WATER…. DROP ME IN THE RIVER! 1.3289 0.06321 76 54 19 3
1718 What? You never heard of the Atlantic's got talent? 1.3289 0.06321 76 54 19 3
1719 And it's William, not Billy. 1.3289 0.07583 76 59 9 8
1720 Just gimme a quick update. I've got to get back to my wall. 1.3289 0.06037 76 53 21 2
1721 Not what you wanted for Father’s Day? 1.3289 0.06321 76 54 19 3
1722 The other cedar plank option involved herbs, spices, and a grill, so this option was a no-brainer 1.3289 0.06321 76 54 19 3
1723 No, I will NOT sing it again. 1.3288 0.06486 73 52 18 3
1724 They can keep their Lifetime Achievement Award. 1.3288 0.06486 73 52 18 3
1725 I would have called you after our date, Marge, but I got hung up. 1.3288 0.07048 73 54 14 5
1726 Well, you asked for a "Trophy Spouse!" 1.3288 0.07048 73 54 14 5
1727 I guess, technically it's still catch and release. 1.3288 0.05870 73 50 22 1
1728 Classic bait & switch 1.3288 0.06185 73 51 20 2
1729 i’ve been framed carl! 1.3288 0.07313 73 55 12 6
1730 You said you wanted a trophy wife. Let's get on with it. 1.3273 0.05646 110 81 22 7
1731 Don't believe the "catch and release" BS. 1.3269 0.05868 104 77 20 7
1732 You need to stop referring to me as your trophy wife, Hank 1.3269 0.06025 104 78 18 8
1733 To hell with your problems. I'm mounted on a fucking board. 1.3265 0.06450 98 75 14 9
1734 Let's just say fame isn't all it's cracked up to be. 1.3263 0.05687 95 68 23 4
1735 Kiddo, take my advice, it’s best to keep your mouth shut! 1.3263 0.06068 95 70 19 6
1736 Can’t you read the writing on the wall? 1.3263 0.05881 95 69 21 5
1737 When I said I wanted to be a trophy wife, this is not what I had in mind 1.3263 0.05881 95 69 21 5
1738 I am not a walleye. 1.3261 0.06008 92 67 20 5
1739 “Don’t worry,” they said. “Be happy,” they said 1.3258 0.06347 89 66 17 6
1740 You should see a dentist with that plaque 1.3258 0.06737 89 68 13 8
1741 Immortality comes at a price. 1.3258 0.06347 89 66 17 6
1742 Trust me kid, show business ain't all it's cracked up to be. Stay in school. 1.3258 0.05712 89 63 23 3
1743 ...and when his trophy-wife got jealous, he tossed me back again. 1.3258 0.06347 89 66 17 6
1744 No, I don’t do requests. 1.3256 0.06286 86 63 18 5
1745 For clarity, we should call it “catch and immediately release.” 1.3256 0.06064 86 62 20 4
1746 I was a famous singer once... 1.3256 0.05834 86 61 22 3
1747 ...so I tried singing 'the room where it happened' instead, and it was all downhill from there 1.3256 0.06064 86 62 20 4
1748 You only see me as a trophy wife. 1.3256 0.06286 86 63 18 5
1749 It's a new thing. They call it catch, mount and release. 1.3256 0.05834 86 61 22 3
1750 Bastards didn’t even show my good side 1.3256 0.06500 86 64 16 6
1751 Fortunately, my left side is my good side. 1.3253 0.05450 83 57 25 1
1752 Listen Carl, I’m not some trophy you can use to make your friends jealous 1.3253 0.05965 83 59 21 3
1753 I don't appreciate you parading me around like I'm some kind of trophy wife. 1.3253 0.06439 83 61 17 5
1754 Not only delicious but a trophy winner. So I got that going for me. 1.3253 0.06439 83 61 17 5
1755 I stopped singing a long time ago, kid. 1.3253 0.05713 83 58 23 2
1756 The other fin brace had an 85$ copay, alright? 1.3253 0.06439 83 61 17 5
1757 Well, they took me to the river, and here I am. 1.3253 0.05965 83 59 21 3
1758 Climate change. 1.3250 0.06838 80 60 14 6
1759 At least I HAVE a job. 1.3250 0.06104 80 57 20 3
1760 You're lucky you have a terrible singing voice. 1.3250 0.06602 80 59 16 5
1761 For the last time. you don't come in till the chorus. 1.3250 0.05839 80 56 22 2
1762 They told me karaoke would be fun. 1.3250 0.06602 80 59 16 5
1763 This isn't what I had in mind for "the one that got away" award. 1.3250 0.06838 80 60 14 6
1764 No, I wouldn't do it again! It's killed my peripheral vision, just killed it! 1.3250 0.05562 80 55 24 1
1765 Never chase after those feathery, multicolored, shiny things in southern slough! 1.3250 0.06838 80 60 14 6
1766 They tell me I should feel honored for being employee of the month. 1.3250 0.06358 80 58 18 4
1767 NO! I will NOT sing that stupid song again! 1.3250 0.06602 80 59 16 5
1768 Do you believe me now? 1.3250 0.06602 80 59 16 5
1769 Do not judge me, Margot! I swear to Cod! 1.3250 0.06602 80 59 16 5
1770 Been entertaining since '99, and the toddler comes along and wants me to "swim with the fishies." 1.3247 0.05974 77 54 21 2
1771 Sure it looked delicious, but WOW the side effects were extreme. 1.3247 0.06253 77 55 19 3
1772 Happy life, trophy wife 1.3247 0.06521 77 56 17 4
1773 Sorry, I don’t spawn and tell. 1.3247 0.06253 77 55 19 3
1774 Everything was fine till the guy’s new wife moved in. 1.3247 0.06253 77 55 19 3
1775 You’d be bored too! 1.3247 0.06521 77 56 17 4
1776 Clearly, someone believes I'm 10 inches. 1.3247 0.06521 77 56 17 4
1777 What do you mean, "I look bored?" 1.3247 0.05974 77 54 21 2
1778 They had me singing “Take Me to the River” on repeat like I was some fresh water fish! 1.3247 0.05680 77 53 23 1
1779 If you love me you'll get me that worm, you said. Are you a real fish or not, you said. 1.3247 0.06778 77 57 15 5
1780 It never happened if we don’t post about it. 1.3247 0.06521 77 56 17 4
1781 Turn out , if you sing "Take me to the river, drop me in the water" often enough, someone actually will do it 1.3243 0.06413 74 53 18 3
1782 This is not what I meant by a trophy wife. 1.3243 0.06695 74 54 16 4
1783 Yes, I know I'm angry, but it's hard being stuck here all the time. 1.3243 0.07479 74 57 10 7
1784 A trophy wife you are not. 1.3243 0.06117 74 52 20 2
1785 This is my costume for the 90s throwback party. 1.3243 0.06966 74 55 14 5
1786 I DO know the words! 1.3243 0.06413 74 53 18 3
1787 Then she said….”let’s try attaching the antlers to the rabbit instead.” 1.3243 0.07479 74 57 10 7
1788 You get mounted, you're the man. I do it, and I'm a tramp. 1.3239 0.07170 71 53 13 5
1789 I'm a trophy fish 1.3239 0.07170 71 53 13 5
1790 Somebody took me literally. 1.3239 0.07445 71 54 11 6
1791 You got nothing to carp about. I'm stuck floundering around with this plaque. 1.3239 0.06272 71 50 19 2
1792 I went to the wrong board meeting. 1.3235 0.05772 102 75 21 6
1793 and they spelled my name bass-ackwards. 1.3232 0.05890 99 73 20 6
1794 You wanted a trophy wife, right? 1.3232 0.06230 99 75 16 8
1795 So much for the "Early Bird Gets the Worm" being good advice! 1.3226 0.05753 93 67 22 4
1796 And to makes matters worse,they named me Big Mouth Billy Bass. 1.3226 0.06516 93 71 14 8
1797 „At least, Jesus got a cross?!?“ 1.3226 0.05953 93 68 20 5
1798 I ate the worm. 1.3226 0.05332 93 65 26 2
1799 A little stiff - you? 1.3222 0.06085 90 66 19 5
1800 I’m getting sick and tired of people pushing my button. 1.3222 0.06482 90 68 15 7
1801 This is not what I meant when I said you could mount me 1.3218 0.06436 87 65 16 6
1802 This is what working from home looks like 1.3218 0.06436 87 65 16 6
1803 Looks like you‘re off the hook. 1.3218 0.06006 87 63 20 4
1804 Son, stay in school, otherwise you’ll end up stuck to a plaque the rest of your life like your old Man. 1.3218 0.06006 87 63 20 4
1805 Carp-e diem, my friend. 1.3218 0.06224 87 64 18 5
1806 when I said mount me like a man… you know I didn’t mean this 1.3218 0.06006 87 63 20 4
1807 Yeah, smartass, but I'll never try to eat anything attached to a hook again! 1.3214 0.06144 84 61 19 4
1808 Ralph calls me his trophy wife! 1.3214 0.06595 84 63 15 6
1809 You are going to be on someone's dinner plate while I look down from the wall. 1.3214 0.05906 84 60 21 3
1810 I'm tired of being called a trophy wife. 1.3214 0.06144 84 61 19 4
1811 -"If I had stayed in school, none of this would have happened." 1.3214 0.06809 84 64 13 7
1812 I am the fish of Christmas Future. This is the fate that awaits you if you do not change your ways. 1.3214 0.06144 84 61 19 4
1813 Every morning I wake up with a woodie 1.3214 0.06809 84 64 13 7
1814 Nailed my audition 1.3214 0.06374 84 62 17 5
1815 This is what I get for looking for Nemo. 1.3210 0.06292 81 59 18 4
1816 It's just a song... I didn't think they'd ACTUALLY take me to the river, and ACTUALLY put me in the water! 1.3210 0.06533 81 60 16 5
1817 I don't care if it looks funny, it keeps the sharks off! 1.3210 0.06292 81 59 18 4
1818 I had no idea this is what you meant by "trophy wife"! 1.3210 0.06042 81 58 20 3
1819 Now you see why you have to keep your mouth shut. 1.3210 0.06292 81 59 18 4
1820 It's called 'catch, mount and release,' and I hate it. 1.3210 0.06292 81 62 15 4
1821 After 25 years, they threw me back! That's gratitude for you. 1.3210 0.06765 81 61 14 6
1822 Billy Bass is a star", they said. "You can be the next Billy Bass", they said 1.3210 0.06042 81 58 20 3
1823 Well hello Mr 'there's definitely no hook in that fly.'" 1.3210 0.07418 81 64 8 9
1824 It doesn't feel like an award. 1.3210 0.06292 81 59 18 4
1825 Just what the Hell do you mean, 'Get a life'? 1.3210 0.05781 81 57 22 2
1826 A plaque lasts longer than a platter. 1.3210 0.06292 81 59 18 4
1827 You could at least say you're surprised to see me back." 1.3210 0.06292 81 59 18 4
1828 I thought they were giving me an award 1.3210 0.06533 81 60 16 5
1829 I told you those plastic edibles would cause plaque. 1.3210 0.06765 81 61 14 6
1830 No, I'm not a walleye. Why? 1.3210 0.06292 81 59 18 4
1831 Larry I swear to god, I will short us both out if you press that button to make me sing “down by the river” again 1.3210 0.06533 81 60 16 5
1832 So she says 'You're no prize catch yourself!'. Well, I sure showed her! 1.3210 0.06292 81 59 18 4
1833 You just can’t stand to see me succeed. 1.3210 0.06292 81 59 18 4
1834 I dropped out of the school and chased flashy things. Sure, I made a big splash, but now I’m empty inside. 1.3210 0.06765 81 61 14 6
1835 Catch and release,” they said 1.3208 0.05773 106 79 20 7
1836 Don't make me sing Don't Worry Be Happy!! 1.3205 0.06187 78 56 19 3
1837 I’d be in your school, too, if I hadn’t gotten nailed on the boards! 1.3205 0.06187 78 56 19 3
1838 No parsley, no lemon wedges, no nothing! 1.3205 0.06187 78 56 19 3
1839 Basstard!” “Maybe you shouldn’t have had such a large mouth. 1.3205 0.05911 78 55 21 2
1840 No, I don't sing on command 1.3205 0.06187 78 56 19 3
1841 Learn from example, I used to chase lures too.... 1.3205 0.06703 78 58 15 5
1842 No, you live in a bubble! 1.3205 0.06450 78 57 17 4
1843 And you said go ahead I’ll let you have the first worm! 1.3205 0.06703 78 58 15 5
1844 I made a deal with the fisherman! 1.3205 0.06450 78 57 17 4
1845 Stop swimming in front of me, you know it triggers the motion sensor 1.3205 0.06947 78 59 13 6
1846 He threw me back in when his new vegan girlfriend said, “Hanging dead animals on walls is so passé.” 1.3205 0.06703 78 58 15 5
1847 They told me I would be immortal. 1.3205 0.07411 78 61 9 8
1848 You’re really pushing my buttons 1.3205 0.06187 78 56 19 3
1849 Talk about efficiency. They shot me in the barrel and then attached me to it. 1.3205 0.06450 78 57 17 4
1850 they framed me son! Believe me! 1.3205 0.06450 78 57 17 4
1851 So this wasn’t what I had in mind when they said ‘trophy spouse’ 1.3204 0.05888 103 77 19 7
1852 If you swim hard enough, you can be a big fish too. 1.3200 0.06886 75 56 14 5
1853 Go ahead, Bob, you have it, I've gone vegan," you said 1.3200 0.06051 75 53 20 2
1854 No more dinner parties. 1.3200 0.06620 75 55 16 4
1855 I refused to sing "Don't Worry, Be Happy." 1.3200 0.06886 75 56 14 5
1856 Just one minute buddy, I'll have you know that I'm board certified. 1.3200 0.06620 75 55 16 4
1857 Goodbye, Reynard. I found someone new who thinks I'm quite the catch 1.3200 0.05483 100 72 24 4
1858 All in all, you’re just another fish on the wall. 1.3200 0.06620 75 55 16 4
1859 I KNOW winning isn't everything. 1.3200 0.06620 75 55 16 4
1860 Catch and release, sure! But they never mention the part in the middle where they stuff and mount you. 1.3196 0.06139 97 73 17 7
1861 Forget what I said about death and taxidermy. 1.3196 0.06139 97 73 17 7
1862 Now do you believe I’m 8 inches long? 1.3194 0.06508 72 52 17 3
1863 I didn’t think they would take the song so literally. 1.3194 0.06200 72 51 19 2
1864 Thanks a lot for your just play dead idea! 1.3194 0.06508 72 52 17 3
1865 If I kept my mouth shut I wouldn’t be here today! 1.3194 0.06508 72 52 17 3
1866 Nice Zoom background 1.3194 0.07355 72 55 11 6
1867 It’s actually considered quite an honor. 1.3194 0.06200 72 51 19 2
1868 Son, you don’t know what bored really means! 1.3194 0.06508 72 52 17 3
1869 A bright colorful Underwater Fluffy Object was my last memory! 1.3194 0.06802 72 53 15 4
1870 I’m not a walleye, you idiot, I’m mounted. 1.3194 0.06508 72 52 17 3
1871 hello from the other side ... 1.3194 0.06508 72 52 17 3
1872 Yes I had some work done during the pandemic, stop making such a big deal about it 1.3194 0.06200 72 51 19 2
1873 Let me tell ya, kid, fame ain't what it's cracked up to be. For one thing I can never turn right. 1.3191 0.05498 94 67 24 3
1874 Why didn’t you tell me we weren’t doing costumes this year? 1.3191 0.05899 94 71 17 6
1875 I bit, that's what happened! 1.3188 0.06361 69 49 18 2
1876 Reports of my death have been greatly exaggerated. 1.3188 0.06017 69 48 20 1
1877 This is not my better half. 1.3187 0.05608 91 65 23 3
1878 What do you mean I don’t look like my Tinder photo?! 1.3187 0.06227 91 68 17 6
1879 This may sound off-the-wall, but... 1.3187 0.06028 91 67 19 5
1880 I know, the song sucks. 1.3187 0.06028 91 67 19 5
1881 This is what I get for listening when you said it's safe to go out to dinner again! 1.3182 0.06164 88 65 18 5
1882 Being on the board isn't all it's cracked up to be. 1.3182 0.05725 88 63 22 3
1883 The board exam was surprisingly easy,but I got hooked trying to get my fishing license. 1.3182 0.06164 88 65 18 5
1884 My trainer recommended planking to tone up before heading upstream. 1.3182 0.06164 88 65 18 5
1885 He literally just sees me as a trophy wife! 1.3182 0.05949 88 64 20 4
1886 If you must know, I've been put out of business by a 300 pound marlin ! 1.3182 0.05949 88 64 20 4
1887 When HR mentions onboarding, don't take the bait. 1.3182 0.06373 88 66 16 6
1888 I thought it was just corporate-speak. The boss asked “who’s on board?” and I raised my fin! Next thing I know… 1.3182 0.06373 88 66 16 6
1889 It’s goth, Mom, you wouldn’t understand. 1.3176 0.06309 85 63 17 5
1890 They couldn't make up their minds about catch and release. 1.3176 0.06309 85 63 17 5
1891 If I have to sing “Take Me to the River” one more time, I am going to lose my mind. 1.3176 0.05849 85 61 21 3
1892 It’s not so bad, I get new batteries every month. 1.3176 0.06309 85 63 17 5
1893 No I won’t sing ‘don’t worry be happy’ so stop asking! 1.3176 0.06739 85 65 13 7
1894 I'd rather be on someone's wall, than their plate. It's my chance for immortality. 1.3171 0.06464 82 61 16 5
1895 Just go ahead and try the bait he says. 1.3171 0.06693 82 62 14 6
1896 I though he said a board game would be fun,not a board for game he caught! 1.3171 0.06227 82 60 18 4
1897 I had to get away. I was up on a wall next to a bear. 1.3171 0.06227 82 60 18 4
1898 To think I almost ended up as a blue plate special" 1.3171 0.06227 82 60 18 4
1899 there's no longer a call for singing fish. 1.3171 0.05981 82 59 20 3
1900 The fishing industry framed me! 1.3171 0.06693 82 62 14 6
1901 After all I’ve done for you why don’t you want to follow in my footsteps 1.3171 0.06227 82 60 18 4
1902 No no, really. It’s like you’re still alive. 1.3168 0.05437 101 73 24 4
1903 Very Funny. I know! I sing the song "I Will Survive." 1.3165 0.05850 79 56 21 2
1904 I'm a trophy wife. You have a problem with that? 1.3165 0.06381 79 58 17 4
1905 ...and no, fame is not all it's cracked up to be...sometimes you can be framed! 1.3165 0.06630 79 59 15 5
1906 I didn't say "get an education". I said "STAY IN SCHOOL"! 1.3165 0.06381 79 58 17 4
1907 Now I realize you only wanted a trophy wife 1.3165 0.06381 79 58 17 4
1908 Harold,what do they mean by trophy wife? 1.3165 0.06121 79 57 19 3
1909 Oh yeah? You sing some silly damn song a hundred times a day. Then you can complain. 1.3165 0.06630 79 59 15 5
1910 Is this what you meant when you said there was an afterlife?! 1.3165 0.06121 79 57 19 3
1911 I'm so relieved. I was afraid you'd been eaten. 1.3165 0.07328 79 62 9 8
1912 At least you aren't stuck on a wooden plaque singing Christmas songs all year 'round. 1.3165 0.06381 79 58 17 4
1913 Their idea of being mounted is sooo different than mine. 1.3165 0.06871 79 60 13 6
1914 Don't call me a trophy husband! 1.3165 0.06630 79 59 15 5
1915 I guess a nice picture wasn't enough 1.3165 0.06381 79 58 17 4
1916 I told you Frank, I'm not singing that song again! 1.3165 0.06871 79 60 13 6
1917 Don’t get into show business kid 1.3165 0.06121 79 57 19 3
1918 Being a Trophy wife is one thing but this is ridiculous 1.3165 0.05850 79 56 21 2
1919 If I told you once I told you a 1,000 times, Don’t take candy from strangers. 1.3165 0.06121 79 57 19 3
1920 Your fate or mine? 1.3165 0.05850 79 56 21 2
1921 Yes I used to be a famous singer but now I’m trying to just live a normal life... how did you recognise me? 1.3165 0.05850 79 56 21 2
1922 What, you’ve never seen someone plastered before? 1.3165 0.06381 79 58 17 4
1923 When you said trophy wife this is not what I had in mind! 1.3165 0.06871 79 60 13 6
1924 Don't eat the pretty feathered flies...it's a trap! 1.3163 0.05728 98 72 21 5
1925 This isn't what I had in mind when I said I wanted to be mounted. 1.3158 0.06396 95 73 14 8
1926 He was quick on the catch, but slow on the release. 1.3158 0.05847 95 70 20 5
1927 I was board. 1.3158 0.06546 76 56 16 4
1928 If it looks to good to be a fly, it is. 1.3158 0.06808 76 57 14 5
1929 You have an amazing singing voice, you said! 1.3158 0.06808 76 57 14 5
1930 No, YOU'RE off the wall! 1.3158 0.07061 76 58 12 6
1931 Stop calling me a "trophy wife." 1.3158 0.07061 76 58 12 6
1932 For your information, it’s called skateboarding. 1.3158 0.06396 95 73 14 8
1933 Take my advice son, shiny dangling things might be tempting, but they aren't always tasty. 1.3158 0.05986 76 54 20 2
1934 You’re not one of those anti-taxidermers, are you?! 1.3158 0.06546 76 56 16 4
1935 Well, at least you can't get caught now 1.3158 0.06218 95 72 16 7
1936 I died for your sins. 1.3158 0.05847 95 70 20 5
1937 And that wasn't the worst of it. The guy next to me wouldn't stop singing. 1.3158 0.06035 95 71 18 6
1938 I am the ghost of codfish past. 1.3158 0.06808 76 57 14 5
1939 The surgeon assured me I would look years younger. 1.3158 0.06272 76 55 18 3
1940 The afterlife is full of surprises. 1.3158 0.06272 76 55 18 3
1941 So you’re saying you won’t... take me to the river..? 1.3158 0.06546 76 56 16 4
1942 Getting mounted is the worst position! 1.3158 0.06272 76 55 18 3
1943 This isn’t the plaque treatment I had in mind 1.3158 0.06272 76 55 18 3
1944 He did not understand that "drop me in the water" was just a lyric! 1.3158 0.06808 76 57 14 5
1945 Wait, you’re telling me this is NOT what you meant by wanting a trophy wife?! 1.3152 0.05972 92 68 19 5
1946 It is known as "catch, mount and release!" 1.3151 0.07000 73 55 13 5
1947 No, I won't sing the song! 1.3151 0.07000 73 55 13 5
1948 No, I don't want to go out for brunch. I'm already stuffed 1.3151 0.06723 73 54 15 4
1949 Since when are you too old to dress up for Halloween Geoffrey?! 1.3151 0.06723 73 54 15 4
1950 If one more person asks if I'm on board! 1.3151 0.06130 73 52 19 2
1951 Yes of COURSE that’s how wall-eye got it’s name! 1.3151 0.06433 73 53 17 3
1952 That's not even the half of it—they call us "big mouth" 1.3151 0.06433 73 53 17 3
1953 Being Student of the Month sucks! 1.3151 0.06723 73 54 15 4
1954 When they tell you not to worry and be happy, swim away as fast as you can! 1.3151 0.05812 73 51 21 1
1955 I'm tired of being treated like a trophy wife. 1.3146 0.06510 89 68 14 7
1956 It’s called catch, mount and release. 1.3146 0.05892 89 65 20 4
1957 This whole lake is stocked with trophies. 1.3146 0.06510 89 68 14 7
1958 ...And that’s when the school turned on me and initiated the crucifishion. 1.3146 0.06703 89 69 12 8
1959 This is not what I meant when I said I wanted a trophy wife. 1.3146 0.06311 89 67 16 6
1960 It started very innocently with Karaoke, and before I knew it I was hooked. 1.3143 0.06914 70 52 14 4
1961 Don't ever let them ask you if you wanna 'sleep with the fishes?' " 1.3143 0.06607 70 51 16 3
1962 I'm planning for retirement. 1.3143 0.06914 70 52 14 4
1963 I am a planked trout. It’s much like the Nobel prize. 1.3143 0.06607 70 51 16 3
1964 Thought I had it made when I got that stint on the Sopranos,now look at me 1.3143 0.06914 70 52 14 4
1965 Not exactly what I had in mind when I sang ‘Take me to the river’ 1.3143 0.07207 70 53 12 5
1966 I hate being your trophy wife. 1.3140 0.06247 86 64 17 5
1967 Stay in school, son. Don't end up like me! 1.3140 0.06024 86 63 19 4
1968 Ask me to sing one more song, I dare you. 1.3140 0.06247 86 64 17 5
1969 For the last time, I’m NOT anyone’s trophy wife! 1.3140 0.05792 86 62 21 3
1970 Even if I am a gag gift, at least I will be able to live out of water. 1.3140 0.06024 86 63 19 4
1971 yeah, OK, but can you sing 'Take Me to the River?' 1.3140 0.06247 86 64 17 5
1972 Have you by any chance heard of something the humans call Postmodernism? 1.3140 0.06462 86 65 15 6
1973 I’m ready to unhinge. 1.3140 0.06024 86 63 19 4
1974 It’s better than ending up on a dinner plate at Red Lobster ! 1.3140 0.05792 86 62 21 3
1975 I can't believe I fell for that phishing email! 1.3137 0.05393 102 74 24 4
1976 Catch and release, what's that? 1.3137 0.05210 102 73 26 3
1977 This is what I get for singing, "Take me to the River." 1.3134 0.06795 67 49 15 3
1978 I’m an artist and a performer. I don’t just sing at the touch of a button, damn it! 1.3134 0.06454 67 48 17 2
1979 The mounting isn't even the worst part. They make me sing. 1.3133 0.05920 83 60 20 3
1980 When he asked if I'd like to be mounted, I thought it was about foreplay. 1.3133 0.06623 83 63 14 6
1981 Dammit Tom, I'm more than just a trophy wife! 1.3133 0.06164 83 61 18 4
1982 Don't complain, being lonely isn't the worse thing in the world! 1.3133 0.05920 83 60 20 3
1983 What? You’re not getting ready for climate change? 1.3133 0.06841 83 64 12 7
1984 Permanent position, my bass! 1.3133 0.06623 83 63 14 6
1985 Do not drop out of school! 1.3131 0.05495 99 72 23 4
1986 I'm more than just a trophy wife, you know! 1.3131 0.05858 99 74 19 6
1987 I don't really care if you're "on board with it" or not! 1.3125 0.06057 80 58 19 3
1988 Of course I don't think of you as a trophy wife. 1.3125 0.05817 112 88 14 10
1989 I’m making a statement. 1.3125 0.06057 80 58 19 3
1990 You told me, 'The early bird gets the worm." Not true. 1.3125 0.06313 80 59 17 4
1991 Yes,do worry! Don’t be happy! 1.3125 0.06313 80 59 17 4
1992 Where does she get off telling me I'm just a trophy wife? 1.3125 0.06313 80 59 17 4
1993 Hurry! Get the Sturgeon General. 1.3125 0.06796 80 61 13 6
1994 I told you if you didn't brush you'd get plaque! 1.3125 0.06313 80 59 17 4
1995 When it happens to you, make sure they mount you on a chestnut plaque; it will bring out the color of your scales. 1.3125 0.06796 80 61 13 6
1996 Yes, as a matter of fact, planking is still a thing. 1.3125 0.05790 80 57 21 2
1997 You press the button and I sing the song. That’s as far as this relationship goes 1.3125 0.05790 80 57 21 2
1998 This was not my idea of a portrait 1.3125 0.05602 96 70 22 4
1999 Don't you dare try to mount me! Been there, done that! 1.3125 0.06313 80 59 17 4
2000 I'm not gonna "do the thing"! 1.3125 0.06313 80 59 17 4
2001 Am I suitable for you now that I have a stable background? 1.3118 0.05917 93 69 19 5
2002 This is the costume I'm wearing, Mom. I don't care what you think! It's SUPPOSED to be edgy! 1.3118 0.06111 93 70 17 6
2003 Take singing lessons, Billy! It'll be good for your career!" That's the last time I listen to you 1.3117 0.06732 77 58 14 5
2004 What do you think a guy is doing underwater with a hammer and nails? 1.3117 0.05921 77 55 20 2
2005 Don't objectify me, John. I have feelings too 1.3117 0.05921 77 55 20 2
2006 They nailed me up and three days later I return to you. I told you my dad's the big man. 1.3117 0.06732 77 58 14 5
2007 I’m done waiting for some man to make me his trophy. 1.3117 0.06203 77 56 18 3
2008 Some big award. I can't even get a decent script to read. 1.3117 0.06732 77 58 14 5
2009 And it’s not even my best side 1.3117 0.06732 77 58 14 5
2010 You don’t know me and you didn’t see me, understand? 1.3117 0.06473 77 57 16 4
2011 You have no idea of the mounting issues above us all 1.3117 0.06203 77 56 18 3
2012 I am worried, and I’m not happy 1.3117 0.06981 77 59 12 6
2013 What do you mean wood paneling is out? 1.3117 0.06473 77 57 16 4
2014 Catch and release” isn’t what I thought it wa 1.3113 0.05423 106 78 23 5
2015 Next time,you take the first bite 1.3111 0.05837 90 66 20 4
2016 They will put me on the wall, not the menu 1.3111 0.05837 90 66 20 4
2017 I’d say more but I’m limited to two songs 1.3111 0.06250 90 68 16 6
2018 Back in my day we had to swim upstream, both ways, and we liked it! 1.3111 0.06447 90 69 14 7
2019 Hang in there,” really? 1.3111 0.06047 90 67 18 5
2020 Apparently getting “boarded” isn’t the same for dogs! 1.3108 0.07180 74 57 11 6
2021 You wanted a trophy wife and you got one! 1.3108 0.06645 74 55 15 4
2022 They always say they're in it for the sport! 1.3108 0.06918 74 56 13 5
2023 Go get presentable! 1.3108 0.06062 74 53 19 2
2024 No, I'm not a member of the Board. 1.3108 0.06062 74 53 19 2
2025 When they said I'd won a plaque, they didn't mention the details. 1.3108 0.06360 74 54 17 3
2026 Tell my wife I won't make it home tonight. 1.3108 0.06360 74 54 17 3
2027 Can you get me a hoagie? 1.3108 0.06645 74 55 15 4
2028 Avoid the Worms ! 1.3108 0.06360 74 54 17 3
2029 My escape plan was perfect, except for one thing... 1.3108 0.06360 74 54 17 3
2030 Yeah, well you should see the guy on the other end of the fishing line. 1.3108 0.06360 74 54 17 3
2031 Fame, it sounds great until you have it. 1.3108 0.06645 74 55 15 4
2032 Because I forgot the safe word, that's why. 1.3108 0.06918 74 56 13 5
2033 Is this what you meant by onboarding? . 1.3108 0.06360 74 54 17 3
2034 And by 2100 there will be more Billy Big Mouth Bass in the ocean than real fish 1.3108 0.06360 74 54 17 3
2035 Quick! Someone warn the early birds... the worm may not be worth it! 1.3108 0.06918 74 56 13 5
2036 That's the last time you choose the vacation 1.3108 0.06918 74 56 13 5
2037 That jerk largemouth bass told me he wanted me to be his “trophy wife.” 1.3107 0.05858 103 78 18 7
2038 There’s no denying it now, I’m a trophy wife. 1.3103 0.06802 87 68 11 8
2039 So I signed up for this woodworking class... 1.3103 0.05965 87 64 19 4
2040 At least I’m part of something, Dave! What have you ever done? 1.3103 0.06603 87 67 13 7
2041 The afterlife is not that great. You just hang on a wall until you're replaced by a bowling trophy. 1.3103 0.06397 87 66 15 6
2042 The worst part? They keep calling me Filet-O-Fish. 1.3103 0.05498 87 62 23 2
2043 I heard those horror stories about trophy fish but never thought I'd take the bait. 1.3103 0.05965 87 64 19 4
2044 Act natural, they’re trying to think of a caption for us 1.3103 0.06185 87 65 17 5
2045 And THEN, they have the audacity to make me sing “Don’t worry, be happy!” 1.3103 0.06397 87 66 15 6
2046 Looks like you've had some work done. 1.3103 0.06603 87 67 13 7
2047 Looks like the end of the line was the end of the line for me. 1.3099 0.06529 71 52 16 3
2048 I wish to hell I'd never heard of Izaak Walton, I can tell you that. 1.3099 0.06529 71 52 16 3
2049 You think I'm your trophy wife? 1.3099 0.05880 71 50 20 1
2050 Let me tell you, being a trophy wife is no picnic 1.3099 0.06529 71 52 16 3
2051 This is what happens when you are the best in the school. 1.3099 0.07118 71 54 12 5
2052 The worst part is I can't get an even tan anymore. 1.3099 0.06529 71 52 16 3
2053 I don't even get residuals anymore! 1.3099 0.05880 71 50 20 1
2054 I told you in school that I did NOT want to be your trophy wife! 1.3099 0.06830 71 53 14 4
2055 Read the plaque. They're callin' me a big mouth! 1.3099 0.06529 71 52 16 3
2056 Works great as a surf board. 1.3099 0.07118 71 54 12 5
2057 I was supposed to be planked shad, but then they remembered the catch and return rule. 1.3099 0.06830 71 53 14 4
2058 I understand...fish for a compliment..Rite? 1.3099 0.06830 71 53 14 4
2059 I couldn’t listen to that song anymore. 1.3099 0.06529 71 52 16 3
2060 Not what I meant when I said I felt like sushi. 1.3095 0.05861 84 61 20 3
2061 I said take me to the river but all they heard was drop me in the water! 1.3095 0.06332 84 63 16 5
2062 Looking for a trophy wife? 1.3095 0.06332 84 63 16 5
2063 No, I didn't get to pick the name. 1.3095 0.06332 84 63 16 5
2064 So after 1,000 verses of ‘Take me to the river’, here I am... What’s your story? 1.3095 0.06554 84 64 14 6
2065 I'm Baaaack! 1.3095 0.05861 84 61 20 3
2066 Don’ t be so koi, and please stop carping. 1.3095 0.06554 84 64 14 6
2067 He insisted on Catch and Release.” 1.3095 0.05350 84 61 21 2
2068 So the endorsement deal went a little sour, big deal. I regret nothing! 1.3095 0.05861 84 61 20 3
2069 No, I won’t sing, We Will Rock You by Queen! 1.3095 0.06332 84 63 16 5
2070 At least I avoid the frying pan. 1.3095 0.05861 84 61 20 3
2071 I got tired of singing “Take Me to the River.” 1.3093 0.05554 97 71 22 4
2072 I was framed,I tell you. FRAMED! 1.3093 0.05744 97 72 20 5
2073 At least I'm not somebody's dinner. 1.3093 0.05152 97 69 26 2
2074 Well, you're not exactly a prize either. 1.3088 0.07335 68 52 11 5
2075 You'll never get your name on a board with that attitude! 1.3088 0.06021 68 48 19 1
2076 Yeah, it was bad. You should have seen the rest of his decor. 1.3088 0.06710 68 50 15 3
2077 Who says size doesn't matter? 1.3088 0.07030 68 51 13 4
2078 No, I won't sing "Take Me to the River." How about something from "Hamilton?" 1.3088 0.07335 68 52 11 5
2079 Don't push the button ever again, Phil. 1.3088 0.07335 68 52 11 5
2080 It may not be Carnegie Hall, but it pays the rent, ok? 1.3088 0.07030 68 51 13 4
2081 Who knew there’s no catch and release during Covid? 1.3088 0.06710 68 50 15 3
2082 When you said trophy wife, this was not the first thing that came to mind 1.3088 0.07030 68 51 13 4
2083 I got hooked so easily! 1.3086 0.06246 81 60 17 4
2084 I “fell off a truck”, now I’m “swimming with the fishes ...” 1.3086 0.06489 81 61 15 5
2085 fuck you looken at 1.3086 0.06489 81 61 15 5
2086 At least my life has a-mounted to something! 1.3086 0.06722 81 62 13 6
2087 You don't know how humiliating it was. They named me Big Mouth Billy Bass and made me sing all the time 1.3086 0.05994 81 59 19 3
2088 No! I don't know "Mack the Knife"! 1.3086 0.05455 81 57 23 1
2089 I don’t know why you’re so surprised. You always said I was a slow learner. 1.3086 0.05994 81 59 19 3
2090 I’m just gonna hang out here for a while. 1.3086 0.05731 81 58 21 2
2091 I’m not a jukebox, Ted. 1.3086 0.06722 81 62 13 6
2092 Act 1, Scene 5: Enter Hamfish and Ghostfish 1.3086 0.06489 81 61 15 5
2093 Hey Mac, don't let the HOA convince you to run for the board. 1.3085 0.06422 94 73 13 8
2094 I told you I didn’t like board games. 1.3085 0.05863 94 70 19 5
2095 See. You didn’t believe me. I told you if you don’t brush plaque will get you. 1.3077 0.07140 78 61 10 7
2096 ...and then I was completely blindsided by a hook! 1.3077 0.05782 91 67 20 4
2097 Stay in school, and you won’t end up like me. 1.3077 0.05782 91 67 20 4
2098 I guess they didn't like my singing 1.3077 0.06402 78 58 16 4
2099 I'm a top specimen, recognized on five continents, with multiple awards. You won't find another fish in the sea like me! 1.3077 0.05859 78 56 20 2
2100 He never saw me as more than just a trophy. 1.3077 0.06385 91 70 14 7
2101 Never get blackout drunk, Charlene. 1.3077 0.05782 91 67 20 4
2102 The mounting pressure was just too much for me. 1.3077 0.07247 65 49 12 4
2103 I had a few too many one night and woke up like this. Been dry ever since. 1.3077 0.07247 65 49 12 4
2104 Talking to you has me board stiff! 1.3077 0.07247 65 49 12 4
2105 I told him I hated selfie’s 1.3077 0.06657 78 59 14 5
2106 I just don’t feel like I’m going anywhere these days. 1.3077 0.05859 78 56 20 2
2107 I told them I’m a bass and they thought I meant I could sing! 1.3077 0.06657 78 59 14 5
2108 I'm not your trophy wife anymore, Carl! 1.3077 0.06903 78 60 12 6
2109 You said you wanted a trophy boyfriend. Well, now you have one. 1.3077 0.05567 78 55 22 1
2110 Listen to your Uncle Fred: Never play dead near the surface! 1.3069 0.06253 101 79 13 9
2111 Worst $20 I ever spent. 1.3069 0.05927 101 77 17 7
2112 'Don't be such a wimp,' you said. 'Show me some balls,' you said. 1.3068 0.06334 88 69 12 7
2113 Better a trophy than sautéd. 1.3068 0.06124 88 66 17 5
2114 Son, stay away from those shiny wiggly flies. 1.3068 0.06124 88 66 17 5
2115 Do you want to know what that guy did to all the other fish he caught that day? 1.3067 0.06288 75 55 17 3
2116 It's no fun being a trophy wife! 1.3067 0.06288 75 55 17 3
2117 No, I won't sing 'Baby Shark' for you! 1.3067 0.06837 75 57 13 5
2118 Well I hope you are finally satisfied that I've made a name for myself! 1.3067 0.06288 75 55 17 3
2119 I admit it. I went overboard. 1.3067 0.06569 75 56 15 4
2120 Yes, it was hilarious at the time, but I was drunk on Aquavite! 1.3067 0.06569 75 56 15 4
2121 Ask me to sing and I’ll scale you alive, buddy 1.3067 0.06288 75 55 17 3
2122 So not worth it. 1.3067 0.05995 75 54 19 2
2123 I’m never going back to that restaurant... 1.3067 0.06288 75 55 17 3
2124 We’ve been trying to reach you about your car’s extended warranty. 1.3067 0.06837 75 57 13 5
2125 Where’s the off switch? 1.3067 0.05995 75 54 19 2
2126 "Take a bite,' you said, 'What's the worst that could happen?' 1.3059 0.06268 85 64 16 5
2127 Long story. But I made it home!! 1.3059 0.06268 85 64 16 5
2128 I just got tired of hanging out in the office. 1.3059 0.06268 85 64 16 5
2129 Trophy wife! I resent that. 1.3059 0.06700 85 66 12 7
2130 Oh, yeah? Well, maybe I don't want to be viewed as a trophy wife! 1.3059 0.06268 85 64 16 5
2131 Sure ‘carpe diem’ you said… 1.3059 0.06905 85 67 10 8
2132 They said, “Stay in school.” And look how far it’s gotten me. 1.3059 0.06040 85 63 18 4
2133 See?! No such thing as a free lunch... 1.3056 0.06452 72 53 16 3
2134 And let me tell you, it was not at all what I was expecting when we talked about hooking up and getting mounted. 1.3056 0.06141 72 52 18 2
2135 You should see what they did to Billy! 1.3056 0.06452 72 53 16 3
2136 I'm the one who got away 1.3056 0.07032 72 55 12 5
2137 I’m from “Back to the Ocean” environmental program 1.3056 0.06748 72 54 14 4
2138 Oh, and don't worry, be happy 1.3056 0.06452 72 53 16 3
2139 I said, “take me to river!” Not the d@!n ocean! 1.3056 0.06452 72 53 16 3
2140 I’m telling you, kid, in this day and age, you gotta prepare for your retirement. 1.3053 0.05810 95 71 19 5
2141 Being a trophy wife has it draw backs. 1.3049 0.06420 82 62 15 5
2142 This wouldn't have happened if you didn't always call me your trophy wife! 1.3049 0.06181 82 61 17 4
2143 I'm telling you, just ignore the shiny spinning objects. 1.3049 0.06420 82 62 15 5
2144 At this rate, You're never gonna be on a wall" 1.3049 0.06181 82 61 17 4
2145 So the big sport bragged: "I always throw 'em back in." 1.3049 0.06181 82 61 17 4
2146 Don't bother evolving 1.3049 0.06420 82 62 15 5
2147 What that school of yours doesn’t teach you is if you want others to see you as a prize-winning catch, you’ve got to dress the part. 1.3043 0.07242 69 53 11 5
2148 Yea right YOU have a plaque problem... 1.3043 0.06298 69 50 17 2
2149 I’m telling you, it looked like a worm! 1.3043 0.06942 69 52 13 4
2150 His 'catch and release' needs work. 1.3043 0.06627 69 51 15 3
2151 I got caught! 1.3043 0.06942 69 52 13 4
2152 It's bad enough I'm mounted, they also expect me to sing. 1.3043 0.07531 69 54 9 6
2153 I'm famous, that's why. 1.3043 0.05934 92 69 18 5
2154 You were right, show business isn't all it's cracked up to be. 1.3043 0.06627 69 51 15 3
2155 There's no such thing as a free lunch. Stay in school! 1.3043 0.06324 92 71 14 7
2156 You say “trophy wife” like it’s a bad thing! 1.3043 0.06627 69 51 15 3
2157 You'd be here if you were bigger! 1.3043 0.06298 69 50 17 2
2158 My bad. I just assumed we all knew what "baby, mount me, baby" meant. 1.3043 0.07242 69 53 11 5
2159 My pop told me “eat no worms.” But I was too smart to listen. Take a lesson? 1.3043 0.05950 69 49 19 1
2160 Oh yeah? Well how does YOUR camouflage work above ground, huh? 1.3043 0.06942 69 52 13 4
2161 The dentist said he’d work on my plaque, but this is not what I had in mind. 1.3039 0.05709 102 77 19 6
2162 For some reason, I thought "trophy husband" meant something different. 1.3038 0.06332 79 59 16 4
2163 If it looks too good to be true…… 1.3038 0.06071 79 58 18 3
2164 If I ever sing "Take Me to the River" again, it will be too soon. 1.3038 0.05510 79 56 22 1
2165 One day, son, all this won’t be yours. 1.3038 0.06584 79 60 14 5
2166 I'm sick and tired of being your trophy wife! 1.3038 0.06826 79 61 12 6
2167 yeah....it all started with me wanting a trophy wife... 1.3038 0.06332 79 59 16 4
2168 I gotta tell you that being a Trophy wife isn’t all it’s cracked up to be 1.3038 0.06332 79 59 16 4
2169 For some reason they only kept me for three days. 1.3038 0.05797 79 57 20 2
2170 I know how you feel. I really miss school too. 1.3038 0.05797 79 57 20 2
2171 No offense,Pal,but you are really off the wall. 1.3038 0.06584 79 60 14 5
2172 He was a belated convert to catch and release. 1.3038 0.05797 79 59 17 3
2173 It’s Phase 2 of a clinical trial: Catch, Mount, Release. 1.3038 0.06584 79 60 14 5
2174 It's a great disguise until someone checks for your batteries! 1.3038 0.06332 79 59 16 4
2175 Try the worm, you said It's tasty and wholesome, you said... 1.3034 0.05628 89 65 21 3
2176 It's been a year of self-discovery. I've found I enjoy being a distant, mysterious figurehead. 1.3034 0.05851 89 66 19 4
2177 I do not have a big mouth! 1.3034 0.05851 89 68 16 5
2178 What are you complaining about? I am stuck to this board! 1.3030 0.06818 66 49 14 3
2179 You think YOU’RE bored?! 1.3030 0.07151 66 50 12 4
2180 Why does everyone always think I want to go to karaoke? 1.3030 0.06467 66 48 16 2
2181 I WAS the one that got away. 1.3030 0.07151 66 50 12 4
2182 Sure it’s embarrassing, but that’s not the half of it. I can only swim in circles! 1.3030 0.06818 66 49 14 3
2183 But I thought I was the trophy wife you’ve been looking for. 1.3030 0.05998 99 76 16 7
2184 So, you're the ' One That Got Away'!? 1.3030 0.06818 66 49 14 3
2185 dress for the job you want, not the one you have 1.3030 0.07151 66 50 12 4
2186 No, it's NOT a Zoom background! 1.3030 0.07470 66 51 10 5
2187 Water you looking at? 1.3030 0.07151 66 50 12 4
2188 Catch, mount and release. 1.3026 0.06494 76 57 15 4
2189 Yeah but how many songs can you sing? 1.3026 0.06218 76 56 17 3
2190 With all that nasty water pollution – it was a no-brainer. 1.3026 0.06218 76 56 17 3
2191 If you stay in school, you should be able to avoid this! 1.3026 0.06218 76 56 17 3
2192 Guess what? We're not at the top of the food chain. 1.3026 0.07014 76 59 11 6
2193 Yeah, genius. It does make it harder to swim. 1.3026 0.06218 76 56 17 3
2194 I'm not some sort of trophy wife, you know! 1.3026 0.06494 76 57 15 4
2195 I’ll do whatever it takes to ditch the school. 1.3026 0.05626 76 54 21 1
2196 Yeah, yeah, you are not the first person to tell me I'm off the wall. 1.3026 0.07014 76 59 11 6
2197 It started with Botox. 1.3026 0.05929 76 55 19 2
2198 I said I wanted to be a FLY on the wall. 1.3026 0.06759 76 58 13 5
2199 No, I am not Billy Bass. I will not give you an autograph. Please don't ask me to sing that song again! 1.3026 0.06759 76 58 13 5
2200 And as if the plaque wasn’t already bad enough, try singing “Don’t Worry Be Happy” about thirty times a day. 1.3023 0.05980 86 64 18 4
2201 So, really, how was I to know it was a Pheasant Tail Nymph? 1.3023 0.06204 86 65 16 5
2202 But by far the worst part of this whole sordid affair— I cannot for the life of me get that stupid song out of my head. 1.3023 0.05503 86 62 22 2
2203 I did the Catfish Challenge on TikTok. Don’t ask. 1.3023 0.05980 86 64 18 4
2204 And you call this charcuterie? 1.3021 0.05946 96 73 17 6
2205 Don’t look at me like I’m your trophy husband! 1.3016 0.07718 63 49 9 5
2206 Okay okay, maybe I misunderstood it when they asked if I'd like to go on the board. 1.3016 0.06649 63 46 15 2
2207 Don't let them catch you out of school. 1.3014 0.06376 73 54 16 3
2208 No! I’m not singing that damn song again! 1.3014 0.06376 73 54 16 3
2209 Well, What I CAN say is that I mounted a good defense!" 1.3014 0.05749 73 52 20 1
2210 It was my bad diet, doc said the plaque just builds up over time. 1.3014 0.06668 73 55 14 4
2211 It's what happens when you're no longer allowed to attend school. 1.3014 0.06071 73 53 18 2
2212 Be careful what you eat, you could get hooked ! 1.3014 0.06376 73 54 16 3
2213 I'm better hung than you are! 1.3014 0.06376 73 54 16 3
2214 I can't see the traffic coming from my right, other than that... 1.3014 0.06376 73 54 16 3
2215 The truth is, I’m not really much of an Al Green fan. 1.3014 0.06668 73 55 14 4
2216 Do as I say, not as I sing! 1.3014 0.07475 73 58 8 7
2217 Personally, I prefer the longboard, but this is what I’m stuck with. 1.3014 0.06948 73 56 12 5
2218 My agent insists it's the 'look' my fans want. 1.3014 0.06376 73 54 16 3
2219 So, anyway, I thought the dentist said PLAQUE... 1.3014 0.06668 73 55 14 4
2220 The underwater community reckons with "Framing Big Mouth Billy Bass". 1.3014 0.07216 73 57 10 6
2221 When they said they needed diversity in the board, I had a different idea... 1.3014 0.06668 73 55 14 4
2222 they don’t give these to just anyone you know! 1.3014 0.06071 73 53 18 2
2223 ‘No, you get stuffed.’ 1.3014 0.06376 73 54 16 3
2224 I said only when I was dead! 1.3014 0.06668 73 55 14 4
2225 I could be your trophy husband 1.3012 0.05617 83 60 21 2
2226 My biggest worry right now is how much more juice this battery has le- 1.3012 0.06800 83 65 11 7
2227 why haven't we unleashed predator drones on Trump voters yet? 1.3012 0.06580 83 64 13 6
2228 What's wrong? I can't get this stupid song outta my head! 1.3012 0.06800 83 65 11 7
2229 Apparently the taxidermist’s wife decided it was time to redecorate. 1.3012 0.05617 83 60 21 2
2230 We have different definitions of 'kinky,' Ted. 1.3012 0.05872 83 61 19 3
2231 . Singing, "Take me to the river. Drop me in the water." was supposed to be a joke. 1.3012 0.06117 83 62 17 4
2232 I couldn't eat another bite. I'm stuffed. 1.3011 0.06264 93 72 14 7
2233 In show business, sometimes you just hit a wall. 1.3011 0.05467 93 68 22 3
2234 Trust me kid there is no such thing as a free lunch 1.3011 0.06074 93 71 16 6
2235 Yeah, I’m a little stiff. 1.3010 0.05827 103 79 17 7
2236 Apparently I WASN'T a keeper. 1.3000 0.06222 70 51 17 2
2237 Of course I wasn't born this way, you stupid fry! 1.3000 0.06856 70 53 13 4
2238 Don’t you dare ask me to sing that song again. 1.3000 0.06856 70 53 13 4
2239 Hundreds of millions in sales singing Take Me To The River and they dump me in the ocean. 1.3000 0.06547 70 52 15 3
2240 All these years you haven't realized what a great catch I am. 1.3000 0.06222 70 51 17 2
2241 Gerald always wanted a trophy wife. 1.3000 0.05737 80 58 20 2
2242 I wish your school chums would stop calling me a trophy wife. 1.3000 0.06751 80 62 12 6
2243 Yeah, it's my oval to bear . 1.3000 0.06222 70 51 17 2
2244 Apparently, I’ve been hoisted by my own placard. 1.3000 0.06512 80 61 14 5
2245 No sharks and, besides, I'm immortal. 1.3000 0.06856 70 53 13 4
2246 I didn’t see it coming. He ditched me for a hot new trophy wife! 1.3000 0.07204 80 64 8 8
2247 Whatever you do, kid, don't go into show biz. 1.3000 0.06222 70 51 17 2
2248 I’m your great-great-grandfather, you know!” 1.3000 0.06856 70 53 13 4
2249 You're really trying to push my button? 1.3000 0.06006 80 59 18 3
2250 I don't take requests. It's 'Take Me to the River' or nothing. 1.3000 0.07151 70 54 11 5
2251 This is luxury. I was on a dartboard. 1.3000 0.06856 70 53 13 4
2252 Yeah, I suppose it's like a battle scar. 1.3000 0.06547 70 52 15 3
2253 No you cannot mount me again! 1.3000 0.06751 80 62 12 6
2254 Till death do us part...happy,now? 1.3000 0.06512 80 61 14 5
2255 You can’t get beyond thinking of me as your ‘trophy wife,’ can you!? 1.3000 0.06222 70 51 17 2
2256 We run this school like a business. And I'm on the board. 1.3000 0.07151 70 54 11 5
2257 Catch and release, hell—I just sang ‘Take Me to the River’ one too many times. 1.3000 0.05737 80 58 20 2
2258 Stop staring, Eugene. My therapist said I needed a solid foundation and I take it seriously. 1.3000 0.06547 70 52 15 3
2259 Well, you finally drove me up the wall 1.3000 0.05454 80 57 22 1
2260 Not what I had in mind when you asked if I wanted mounting. 1.3000 0.06264 80 60 16 4
2261 Well - are you happy!? Now you've got your trophy wife! 1.3000 0.05737 80 58 20 2
2262 Bro, you have no idea what I’ve been through. Don’t judge. 1.3000 0.05880 70 50 19 1
2263 You heard it right. It's a single-passenger submarine. 1.3000 0.06512 80 61 14 5
2264 Brush your teeth twice daily to avoid dangerous plaque! 1.3000 0.06856 70 53 13 4
2265 Oughta be a time limit on catch and release. 1.2989 0.05691 87 64 20 3
2266 Look, only so many of us can be display pieces! 1.2989 0.06356 87 67 14 6
2267 I told you to stay in school. 1.2989 0.05921 87 65 18 4
2268 I told you I didn't want to be a trophy wife! 1.2989 0.06143 87 66 16 5
2269 you the guy looking for the trophy wife? 1.2989 0.06143 87 66 16 5
2270 They changed their minds about me being a keeper a bit late. 1.2987 0.06421 77 58 15 4
2271 One lousy bite, and I’m a poster fish for Pisces stupidity. 1.2987 0.06421 77 58 15 4
2272 Can you believe they spelled my name wrong? 1.2987 0.06149 77 57 17 3
2273 While cedar planked salmon are always farmed, I'm recognized. 1.2987 0.06149 77 57 17 3
2274 At least I won't end up sliced and diced on a platter. 1.2987 0.05566 77 55 21 1
2275 They were out of mahogany, so I took the oak, 1.2987 0.06149 77 57 17 3
2276 Yeah? Well there are plenty of fish in the bar. 1.2987 0.06421 77 58 15 4
2277 It's called a "safe space" for $2.99 at FishMart and protects you from harsh environmental dangers and undo criticism. 1.2987 0.06682 77 59 13 5
2278 Save Yourself! Befriend only vegans 1.2987 0.06421 77 58 15 4
2279 If they ask you to sing and promise you food, DON’T DO IT. 1.2987 0.06682 77 59 13 5
2280 I’m actually not lovin’ it 1.2987 0.06682 77 59 13 5
2281 It was like he was putting me on display. 1.2985 0.06730 67 50 14 3
2282 You're no trophy yourself! 1.2985 0.07058 67 51 12 4
2283 I thought you wanted a trophy wife. 1.2985 0.07058 67 51 12 4
2284 I’m so friggin’ board. 1.2985 0.06730 67 50 14 3
2285 Look, I was a big fish in a small pond, ok? 1.2985 0.06385 67 49 16 2
2286 I Was Warned Not to Send You Off to That Fancy Boarding School. 1.2985 0.06385 67 49 16 2
2287 Must be nice being amphibulatory. 1.2985 0.07372 67 52 10 5
2288 I had to hold my breath for a long time. 1.2985 0.06385 67 49 16 2
2289 It’s the newest trend in non-surgical beauty procedures! 1.2985 0.06021 67 48 18 1
2290 I’m sorry but I’m only performing songs from my new album. 1.2985 0.07058 67 51 12 4
2291 I thought we might spawn, but I see you’re already mounted. 1.2985 0.06730 67 50 14 3
2292 What do you mean, one-sided view?! 1.2985 0.06385 67 49 16 2
2293 It’s a paid modeling gig don’t judge. 1.2985 0.06730 67 50 14 3
2294 Daddy sang bass. 1.2985 0.07058 67 51 12 4
2295 The early bird gets the worm, but the early fish gets the hook. 1.2985 0.06730 67 50 14 3
2296 Before climate change I was over the mantelpiece. 1.2976 0.05813 84 62 19 3
2297 I am more than just a trophy! 1.2976 0.06287 84 64 15 5
2298 This is not what I meant when I said I want to be where the people are. 1.2976 0.06287 84 64 15 5
2299 It was supposed to be catch and release, but there was a catch... 1.2973 0.06002 74 54 18 2
2300 I am so sick and tired of singing " Don't worry, Be happy". 1.2973 0.06865 74 57 12 5
2301 You will be visited by three fillet's. 1.2973 0.06303 74 55 16 3
2302 No, I'm not going to sing for you. 1.2973 0.07130 74 58 10 6
2303 Being a living legend is very inhibiting. 1.2973 0.06590 74 56 14 4
2304 No, flossing would not have prevented this! 1.2973 0.07130 74 58 10 6
2305 No, salt water does NOT dissolve liquid nails. 1.2973 0.06590 74 56 14 4
2306 At least you are seing my good side! 1.2973 0.06590 74 56 14 4
2307 I'm on display and you aren't. Get used to it. 1.2973 0.06303 74 55 16 3
2308 Before Catch and Release, it was Catch, Display and Release. 1.2973 0.06002 74 54 18 2
2309 Well, the genie stopped laughing when I dropped his stupid lamp into the Mariana trench. 1.2973 0.06303 74 55 16 3
2310 There are other fish in the sea but I'm ageless. 1.2973 0.06002 74 54 18 2
2311 ...not only that I'm a tenor now. 1.2973 0.06303 74 55 16 3
2312 I'm tired of being treated like a trophy. 1.2973 0.06002 74 54 18 2
2313 I am the future you and I am warning you: Do not eat that lure! 1.2973 0.06865 74 57 12 5
2314 I never thought that getting elected to the Hall of Fame would have been so painful 1.2973 0.07130 74 58 10 6
2315 The flaws of "catch, taxidermy, and release" were quickly becoming obvious. 1.2973 0.06303 74 55 16 3
2316 I think you’re what they call, a Trophy Wife. 1.2973 0.05350 74 52 22 0
2317 My parents blew my swimming classes fund on education 1.2973 0.06590 74 56 14 4
2318 You forget the words just once and they throw you back. 1.2969 0.07612 64 50 9 5
2319 Yeah, well if you're caught, they'll EAT you. 1.2969 0.06929 64 48 13 3
2320 Yes, dammit. Plaque builds up if you don’t brush your teeth. 1.2969 0.07278 64 49 11 4
2321 I don’t know why you can’t see I’m so much more than a trophy fish 1.2969 0.06562 64 47 15 2
2322 And Carl still didn't understand how bad it was for his karma, to have taken her as a trophy wife. 1.2969 0.06562 64 47 15 2
2323 I guess he got board. 1.2969 0.06562 64 47 15 2
2324 Yeah but at least no one served you with fries. 1.2969 0.07278 64 49 11 4
2325 You won’t remember this after blinking but never aim to be the Catch of the Day 1.2969 0.06562 64 47 15 2
2326 Pick your hook ups carefully. 1.2967 0.05949 91 69 17 5
2327 Divorce papers have been sent, I'm my own trophy now. 1.2967 0.05741 91 68 19 4
2328 🎶 Take me to the river, drop me in the water 🎶 1.2967 0.05524 91 67 21 3
2329 Whatever you do, don't grow up. 1.2963 0.06442 81 62 14 5
2330 All I wanted to do was sing! 1.2963 0.05943 81 60 18 3
2331 If they ever tell you you’re board certified, swim away. 1.2963 0.06197 81 61 16 4
2332 Want to be trophy's trophy wife? 1.2963 0.06442 81 62 14 5
2333 ‘Keep your eye on the prize’ they said 1.2963 0.06442 81 62 14 5
2334 No, actually I'm a tenor! 1.2963 0.06197 81 61 16 4
2335 If I swim around like I am on display there is a good reason for it! 1.2963 0.05399 81 58 22 1
2336 the trick is to play dead and wait for an opportunity 1.2963 0.05943 81 60 18 3
2337 I'm can't believe they actually took me to the river. It's just a song. 1.2963 0.05943 81 60 18 3
2338 For me it was give up a little freedom for the security 1.2963 0.06197 81 61 16 4
2339 No, it’s not as good as ‘catch and release’, but it’s far better than ‘catch and fry’.” 1.2963 0.05943 81 60 18 3
2340 You dress for the job you want. 1.2963 0.06442 81 62 14 5
2341 Please. Spokesman William Bass is my father's name. Call me Big Mouth Billy. 1.2963 0.05399 81 58 22 1
2342 Don't ask. Don't ask. Don't ask. Don't ask. Don't ask ... 1.2958 0.06149 71 52 17 2
2343 For the last time, I'm don't take requests! 1.2958 0.07062 71 55 11 5
2344 Take Me To The River" is only the half of it! 1.2958 0.06467 71 53 15 3
2345 I didn't even get to sing! 1.2958 0.06467 71 53 15 3
2346 What, you've never seen a surfboard? 1.2958 0.06149 71 52 17 2
2347 Your big mouth is always getting you in trouble. 1.2958 0.06149 71 52 17 2
2348 Stay in "school" or you could wind up like me. 1.2958 0.06149 71 52 17 2
2349 My fin itches. 1.2958 0.06467 71 53 15 3
2350 Sure, I'm less mobile than I used to be, but it's done wonders for my posture. 1.2958 0.06467 71 53 15 3
2351 At least I'm shark proof. 1.2958 0.05812 71 53 16 2
2352 Yeah , I'm going rogue. 1.2958 0.06467 71 53 15 3
2353 This is what graduate school will get you. 1.2958 0.06149 71 55 13 3
2354 This formaldehyde is worse than Botox! 1.2958 0.06149 71 52 17 2
2355 Take it from me: You can't tell a hook by its cover. 1.2958 0.06467 71 53 15 3
2356 The point is I still nailed the dismount. 1.2958 0.06149 71 52 17 2
2357 Brush your teeth or you’ll end up with plaque. 1.2958 0.06771 71 54 13 4
2358 Seems fitting I’d wind up back in this dump. 1.2958 0.06149 71 52 17 2
2359 I escaped through the sewer, so yeah, I'm pretty pissed! 1.2958 0.06467 71 53 15 3
2360 The acoustics here are terrible. 1.2958 0.06149 71 52 17 2
2361 I was thrown back in. 1.2958 0.06467 71 53 15 3
2362 Don't ask. Be happy. 1.2958 0.07342 71 56 9 6
2363 Well, you know what they say - nothing can be said to be certain, except death and taxidermy 1.2958 0.06771 71 54 13 4
2364 And then they called me a trophy wife. 1.2955 0.05636 88 65 20 3
2365 I'm sorry,sweetheart,but I should have kept my mouth shut. 1.2951 0.07518 61 47 10 4
2366 It was that job posting on Craigslist. 1.2949 0.05802 78 60 15 3
2367 It’s a small, helpless fish”, you said. “Easy pickings”, you said 1.2949 0.06607 78 60 13 5
2368 What makes you think I want a trophy wife? 1.2949 0.06607 78 60 13 5
2369 What, never seen a talking fish before? 1.2949 0.05802 78 57 19 2
2370 It's superglue ! I don't know how to get it off! 1.2949 0.06350 78 59 15 4
2371 It's hell being a trophy wife. 1.2949 0.06607 78 60 13 5
2372 My doctor says it’s plaque. 1.2949 0.07093 78 62 9 7
2373 You wanted a trophy wife, now live with it! 1.2949 0.06350 78 59 15 4
2374 what...or is this not what you meant by 'just take the first job that comes along'... 1.2949 0.05802 78 57 19 2
2375 I bit his finger so he came here and threw me back. 1.2949 0.06607 78 60 13 5
2376 And the worst part of the whole ordeal is my name isn't even Billy. 1.2949 0.06350 78 59 15 4
2377 My story? I was a first place trophy, I had it all, fame and fortune. But then I got to cocky and they threw me back. 1.2949 0.06350 78 59 15 4
2378 Who you calling ‘Big Mouth,’ Billy? 1.2949 0.06082 78 58 17 3
2379 Help me I can't swim 1.2949 0.06082 78 58 17 3
2380 ‘Do you know how heavy this thing is?’ 1.2949 0.05802 78 57 19 2
2381 I knew something was fishy when I found your super glue on this board 1.2949 0.06350 78 59 15 4
2382 If this is his idea of catch and release,I feel bad for his trophy wife. 1.2941 0.06968 68 52 12 4
2383 Yeah, my husband always wanted a trophy wife! 1.2941 0.06968 68 52 12 4
2384 Hi, my name’s Billy Bass-got downsized for singing Take Me To The River one time too many! What’s your story? 1.2941 0.06645 68 51 14 3
2385 Get your own yoga mat! 1.2941 0.06223 85 65 15 5
2386 You wanted a trophy wife. You GOT a trophy wife. 1.2941 0.06645 68 51 14 3
2387 After singing, "Take Me to the River", for the billionth time, they took me up on it. 1.2941 0.06306 68 50 16 2
2388 If it's too easy, don't bite it! 1.2941 0.06306 68 50 16 2
2389 Take it from me kid, stay in your school. 1.2941 0.06306 68 50 16 2
2390 I’m innocent, I tell ya! I got framed! 1.2941 0.06968 68 52 12 4
2391 They decided size matters and overboard I went. 1.2941 0.06968 68 52 12 4
2392 Go to Florida," you said. "It'll be fun," you said 1.2941 0.07276 68 53 10 5
2393 Learned to speak and sing for you and now you don’t like this new side of me? 1.2941 0.06306 68 50 16 2
2394 ...and they have me singing, "Don't worry, be happy"!!! 1.2941 0.06306 68 50 16 2
2395 I thought it sounded like fun when she said, “Let’s get hammered!” 1.2941 0.06306 68 50 16 2
2396 Mark my words son: there is no such thing as a free lunch. 1.2941 0.06968 68 52 12 4
2397 Sheila said to find something provocative for this year’s Art Ball. 1.2941 0.06968 68 52 12 4
2398 Stay away from the worms, just one bite, and you’re hooked 1.2933 0.06514 75 57 14 4
2399 They finally took me to the river. 1.2933 0.06514 75 57 14 4
2400 No. I won't be your trophy wife! 1.2933 0.05935 75 55 18 2
2401 I’m warning you, don’t cut school! 1.2933 0.05935 75 55 18 2
2402 I don't get it. I said I like 'all art,' not 'wall art.' 1.2933 0.06231 75 56 16 3
2403 You can blame my agent. 1.2933 0.06514 75 57 14 4
2404 Yeah I don’t know how this wooden plaque is floating upright in the water either but I sure miss seeing out of my right eye. 1.2933 0.06785 75 58 12 5
2405 Well, didn’t work as I planned. 1.2933 0.06785 75 58 12 5
2406 This way only my good side shows 1.2933 0.06514 75 57 14 4
2407 On boarding! 1.2929 0.06134 99 78 13 8
2408 I am not a trophy wife! 1.2927 0.06132 82 62 16 4
2409 Long story short, I’m really good at playing dead. 1.2927 0.06605 82 64 12 6
2410 I'm transitioning. 1.2927 0.05881 82 61 18 3
2411 I'm tired of being a trophy husband. 1.2927 0.06605 82 64 12 6
2412 If not for my big mouth, I'd be just like the rest of ya. 1.2927 0.06829 82 65 10 7
2413 I wouldn’t be caught dead on pine wood- this is cherry. 1.2927 0.06605 82 64 12 6
2414 Well I wouldn’t exactly call this catch and release, Dave! 1.2927 0.05620 82 60 20 2
2415 The worst part of the whole thing is that this is not even my good side. 1.2927 0.06132 82 62 16 4
2416 When they made me Chairman of the Board, I envisioned something totally different. 1.2927 0.06605 82 64 12 6
2417 Being a trophy wife isn't as much fun as I thought. 1.2923 0.07507 65 51 9 5
2418 Just to let you know, this is what a pardon looks like. 1.2923 0.07180 65 50 11 4
2419 Catch and release" is supposed to happen faster than this. 1.2923 0.06476 65 48 15 2
2420 I won the karaoke contest. 1.2923 0.06837 65 49 13 3
2421 When I mention I've got a plaque problem everybody says just brush 3 times a day. 1.2923 0.06837 65 49 13 3
2422 I can’t sing. 1.2923 0.06093 65 47 17 1
2423 Charley You know you only can become an award winner If you Caught 1.2923 0.06837 65 49 13 3
2424 My biggest regret is not staying in school. 1.2923 0.06476 65 48 15 2
2425 I prefer to be called William Bass. 1.2923 0.06837 65 49 13 3
2426 When my dentist recognized me with a plaque award I had no idea. 1.2923 0.06837 65 49 13 3
2427 This is all your fault. You never should have told them I could sing. 1.2923 0.06837 65 49 13 3
2428 You said worms would lower my cholesterol 1.2923 0.06476 65 48 15 2
2429 I'm on break! 1.2923 0.06476 65 48 15 2
2430 Whatever makes you think I'd make a great trophy wife?!! 1.2921 0.05582 89 66 20 3
2431 And that’s how I got on Deadliest Catch 1.2921 0.06022 89 68 16 5
2432 I wanted to be on the school board! 1.2921 0.06022 89 68 16 5
2433 When I was your age I had to swim to school upstream BOTH WAYS, and carry my own plaque. You kids have it so easy 1.2921 0.06231 89 69 14 6
2434 I don't care if you don't believe me!! I was abducted by aliens and they shoved a button up my ass that makes me sing! 1.2917 0.06076 72 53 17 2
2435 And then you said, "oh, no. You can have the first bite of the worm." 1.2917 0.06976 72 56 11 5
2436 No, I was not a trophy wife! 1.2917 0.05745 72 52 19 1
2437 What do you mean--why am I angry?? 1.2917 0.06976 72 56 11 5
2438 Working on my posture. 1.2917 0.05745 72 52 19 1
2439 There are 2 schools of thought about what happened.... 1.2917 0.06689 72 55 13 4
2440 At least they like when I sing 1.2917 0.05745 72 52 19 1
2441 And then they said, we can help you live forever! 1.2917 0.06076 72 53 17 2
2442 It's called fashion, Steve! 1.2917 0.06390 72 54 15 3
2443 I told you! I’m an amazing catch! 1.2917 0.06976 72 56 11 5
2444 It was either this or go to the food plate. What did you want me to do? 1.2917 0.06976 72 56 11 5
2445 It's not a laughing matter. 1.2911 0.06777 79 62 11 6
2446 All I said was I was getting a little bored. 1.2911 0.05144 79 56 23 0
2447 That’s weird. We both have eight little fish behind us. 1.2911 0.06016 79 59 17 3
2448 Do you know a good PT? I'm feeling kind of stiff. 1.2911 0.06534 79 61 13 5
2449 No, I don't do "Take Me to the River." 1.2911 0.06280 79 60 15 4
2450 When the other top fish in the school offered me a position on the board this is not what I thought they had in mind. 1.2911 0.06534 79 61 13 5
2451 It's not easy being mother's favourite! 1.2911 0.06280 79 60 15 4
2452 Hey, who you callin’ a Big Mouth?!? 1.2911 0.06016 79 59 17 3
2453 Over and over and over, the song keeps playing in my head. 1.2911 0.06777 79 62 11 6
2454 I’m the chairman of the board, and don’t you forget it 1.2907 0.05933 86 65 17 4
2455 No John, I don’t want to sing 1.2907 0.05698 86 64 19 3
2456 I don’t know doc, sometimes I just feel so stuck in this life. 1.2907 0.05933 86 65 17 4
2457 That's the last time I take career advice from you! 1.2907 0.05698 86 64 19 3
2458 The ghost of Christmas yet to come … and all that 1.2903 0.07411 62 51 6 5
2459 Next time you play Tug of War !!! 1.2903 0.05812 62 44 18 0
2460 And to top it off, this is not my good profile! 1.2903 0.06660 62 46 14 2
2461 It was either this or fish sticks! 1.2903 0.06660 62 46 14 2
2462 I thought you said it was good to be mounted. 1.2903 0.05838 93 71 17 5
2463 No, I am not a trophy wife. Why do you ask? 1.2903 0.05634 93 70 19 4
2464 He caught a fish that was thaattt big to replace me on the mantle." 1.2903 0.07411 62 48 10 4
2465 I hate formalwear. 1.2899 0.06229 69 51 16 2
2466 I thought I was going to a tax specialist. Turns out he was a taxidermist. 1.2899 0.06229 69 51 16 2
2467 They said that I didn't spark joy. 1.2899 0.06879 69 53 12 4
2468 So much for being a trophy wife. 1.2899 0.06879 69 53 12 4
2469 Help! Fish overboard! 1.2899 0.06562 69 52 14 3
2470 All I know is that I never want to hear Al Green again. 1.2899 0.07182 69 54 10 5
2471 They don’t bother you if you’re mounted. 1.2899 0.07473 69 55 8 6
2472 You have to make some sacrifices to become a trophy fish. 1.2899 0.07182 69 54 10 5
2473 Take me to the river? Drop me in the water?” It was supposed to be funny… I didn’t think they’d actually DO it! 1.2899 0.06229 69 51 16 2
2474 Look on the bright side? I only have one side and it’s pissed. 1.2899 0.06229 69 51 16 2
2475 Look where my big mouth got me 1.2899 0.06562 69 52 14 3
2476 It's called growing up, Larry. 1.2899 0.05876 69 50 18 1
2477 Tell me I’m off the wall again, Richard. I dare you. 1.2899 0.06879 69 53 12 4
2478 It’s called the jitterbug 1.2899 0.06879 69 53 12 4
2479 Well, I did repeatedly ask to take me to the river and drop me in the water. 1.2899 0.06879 69 53 12 4
2480 I just got up and left, I ain't no performing sea monkey! 1.2899 0.06562 69 52 14 3
2481 The singing audition did not turn out like I thought it would! 1.2899 0.06562 69 52 14 3
2482 Thank goodness we can finally go back to school. I'm board. 1.2895 0.06439 76 58 14 4
2483 Yeah, I'm trophy size. 1.2895 0.06439 76 58 14 4
2484 Fine timing for the goofus to realize he was over his limit. 1.2895 0.05869 76 56 18 2
2485 'Cause I have a bad back, and no, I won't sing to you! 1.2895 0.06439 76 58 14 4
2486 Then she said "Let's get mounted..." 1.2895 0.06160 76 57 16 3
2487 I feel like a fish out of water down here. 1.2895 0.06706 76 59 12 5
2488 You’re neither. You’re an errand boy, sent by grocery clerks, to collect a bill. 1.2895 0.06963 76 60 10 6
2489 They told me it was a temporary procedure 1.2895 0.06439 76 58 14 4
2490 When they said 'come on board," I thought they meant cocktails. 1.2895 0.06439 76 58 14 4
2491 I was warned about becoming your your “trophy wife” 1.2895 0.06706 76 59 12 5
2492 The Hookers Got Me 1.2895 0.06706 76 59 12 5
2493 Get back to school kid. 1.2895 0.06160 76 57 16 3
2494 They made me into an NFT. Where's my cut? 1.2895 0.05562 76 55 20 1
2495 Catch and Release: Lies, Spies, and a Conspiracy to Protect Predators 1.2895 0.06439 76 58 14 4
2496 Even in a crisis, all I get from you is blank stares? 1.2895 0.05869 76 56 18 2
2497 Maybe now you’ll listen to me. 1.2889 0.05751 90 68 18 4
2498 I said to take me to the river, not to leave me here! 1.2881 0.07664 59 46 9 4
2499 Should of paid back my loan on time! 1.2881 0.07664 59 46 9 4
2500 Oh great, me and my big mouth! 1.2881 0.06860 59 44 13 2
2501 Don't ever hook up with a guy who wants a trophy wife. 1.2879 0.06392 66 49 15 2
2502 I'll tell you what, you do NOT want to be part of that world. 1.2879 0.07406 66 52 9 5
2503 Take Me to the River my ass. 1.2879 0.06747 66 50 13 3
2504 Yes I took the bait! I was starving! 1.2879 0.06747 66 50 13 3
2505 Assisted living ain't what it used to be. 1.2879 0.06392 66 49 15 2
2506 Relax! The whole stream is catch and release. 1.2879 0.06392 66 49 15 2
2507 I like the new look. Who's your taxidermist? 1.2879 0.06392 66 49 15 2
2508 Where can a fish get a crowbar down here? 1.2879 0.07084 66 51 11 4
2509 Sometimes I wish he hadn’t thrown me back 1.2879 0.06747 66 50 13 3
2510 Stop carping on I should have gone to school. 1.2879 0.06392 66 49 15 2
2511 I bring word from the surface. 1.2879 0.07084 66 51 11 4
2512 It’s better than wearing a mask 1.2879 0.07084 66 51 11 4
2513 Bob, do you think they captured my good side? 1.2879 0.06392 66 49 15 2
2514 Come up to the surface, we’ll get together, have a few laughs… 1.2879 0.06017 66 48 17 1
2515 Bug off. I didn't choose the song, ok? 1.2877 0.06891 73 57 11 5
2516 He said he would treat me like a trophy wife-what a jerk I was! 1.2877 0.07162 73 58 9 6
2517 Yes but it's really good for my back. 1.2877 0.06006 73 54 17 2
2518 I would have preferred a gold watch. 1.2877 0.06609 73 56 13 4
2519 Yes! But can you sing? 1.2877 0.06315 73 55 15 3
2520 It's MR. Big Mouth Billy Bass to you! 1.2877 0.06006 73 54 17 2
2521 You can eat your heart out, I've been mounted, it's official. 1.2877 0.06609 73 56 13 4
2522 Try calling me your trophy wife one more time… 1.2877 0.06609 73 56 13 4
2523 Now let him try to reel me in on a one-pound-test line. 1.2877 0.05680 73 55 16 2
2524 Let me float this by you 1.2877 0.06891 73 57 11 5
2525 Some idiot thought it would be funny to counter Billy Bass with Wally Walleye, and here I am! 1.2877 0.06006 73 54 17 2
2526 I know I know ...I shouldn't have had that snack !!! 1.2877 0.06006 73 54 17 2
2527 With the price of wood these days I've doubled my investment. 1.2877 0.06006 73 54 17 2
2528 I just created my tripadvisor profile 1.2877 0.06006 73 54 17 2
2529 I just don’t understand. I floss daily and I still have an excessive buildup of plaque. 1.2875 0.06212 80 61 15 4
2530 Get real? Sez who? 1.2875 0.05952 80 60 17 3
2531 It was a cushy gig till I forgot the words 1.2875 0.06212 80 61 15 4
2532 If someone mentions being mounted, don't think of sex 1.2875 0.06212 80 61 15 4
2533 So now you're telling me I'm too stuck up to be your trophy husband?! 1.2875 0.05952 80 60 17 3
2534 No,cedar is what they cook you on,this is mahogany. 1.2875 0.05952 80 60 17 3
2535 The dentist just said it was plaque build-up. 1.2875 0.06212 80 61 15 4
2536 So they took me to the river and dropped me in the water-- now will you get my nail-puller and get me off this thing? 1.2875 0.05952 80 60 17 3
2537 Stay off the Internet, kid. Those click-bait sites are killers. 1.2875 0.05952 80 60 17 3
2538 About that little song I wrote 1.2875 0.06212 80 61 15 4
2539 Time to get off the wall Billy 1.2875 0.05952 80 60 17 3
2540 It's a decent job but the song feels a bit demeaning. 1.2875 0.06462 80 62 13 5
2541 No George. It was NOT as easy as it looked. 1.2875 0.05952 80 60 17 3
2542 I've got this song stuck in my head and the worst part is that I didn't even get to choose that song. 1.2875 0.06212 80 61 15 4
2543 I wanted to be thrown back but not mounted. 1.2874 0.06097 87 67 15 5
2544 Don't press my buttons. 1.2874 0.06097 87 67 15 5
2545 Yes. I am King Salmon's new Trophy Wife. 1.2874 0.06313 87 68 13 6
2546 Taxidermy school was NOT the school I thought it was going to be.. 1.2874 0.05400 87 64 21 2
2547 Am I a trophy to you? 1.2874 0.06313 87 68 13 6
2548 Never mind what happened to me, just stay in school. 1.2872 0.06167 94 74 13 7
2549 I wasn't a keeper. 1.2857 0.05807 70 51 18 1
2550 So he sez "William, would you rather sing or be supper?" 1.2857 0.06793 70 54 12 4
2551 I sang "Take me to the River" so they threw me overboard. 1.2857 0.07650 63 50 8 5
2552 It's a fashion accessory 1.2857 0.05477 91 68 20 3
2553 Fortunately it was an amateur taxidermist. Unfortunately it's a pain to school with this pull to the right. 1.2857 0.06569 63 47 14 2
2554 Oh. Like you weren't looking at that worm just as much as I was! 1.2857 0.06153 70 52 16 2
2555 And then his wife says, "throw it back". 1.2857 0.06948 63 48 12 3
2556 It's great for my spine. 1.2857 0.06629 77 60 12 5
2557 As you can see, the wife wasn’t too happy getting a mechanical talking fish for her birthday. 1.2857 0.06569 63 47 14 2
2558 My final words son, play alto, not bass. 1.2857 0.05807 70 51 18 1
2559 I was framed, so now I’m gonna sing 1.2857 0.06239 84 65 14 5
2560 Why am I the only one who celebrates Halloween? 1.2857 0.06091 77 58 16 3
2561 Not what you had in mind when you said you wanted a trophy spouse? 1.2857 0.06167 63 46 16 1
2562 Am I just a trophy wife to you, Dale? 1.2857 0.05804 77 57 18 2
2563 His wife hated me hanging in her living room and threw me back in. 1.2857 0.06569 63 47 14 2
2564 So you wanted a trophy spouse!! 1.2857 0.06005 84 64 16 4
2565 What? You’ve never heard of a trophy husband? 1.2857 0.06793 70 54 12 4
2566 Run, run as fast as you can. 1.2857 0.06091 77 58 16 3
2567 Please do not enter my bubble 1.2857 0.06091 77 58 16 3
2568 I'm the Ghost of Fishing Future. 1.2857 0.07977 63 51 6 6
2569 I thought I was signing up for a paddle board lesson. 1.2857 0.06239 84 65 14 5
2570 Catch and release is not as simple as it sounds 1.2857 0.06167 63 46 16 1
2571 My dentist is advising me as to the best way to remove plaque! 1.2857 0.06366 77 59 14 4
2572 It’s performance art. 1.2857 0.05804 77 57 18 2
2573 Some of us know how to create a legacy. 1.2857 0.06481 70 53 14 3
2574 When I said “take me to the river”, I didn’t mean literally! 1.2857 0.05804 77 57 18 2
2575 Oh yeah? Who's YOUR agent? 1.2857 0.06481 70 53 14 3
2576 Find your own hiding place 1.2857 0.06948 63 48 12 3
2577 No! I said bring me a surgeon, not a sturgeon. 1.2857 0.05804 77 57 18 2
2578 Did you seriously think they would eat me ? 1.2857 0.06629 77 60 12 5
2579 Listen when they tell you plaque buildup is a thing. 1.2857 0.05807 70 51 18 1
2580 No doubt about it--I was framed! 1.2857 0.06948 63 48 12 3
2581 My mother was right: travel while you can! 1.2857 0.06366 77 59 14 4
2582 Gotta spare battery? 1.2857 0.06569 63 47 14 2
2583 I'm your future. 1.2857 0.06481 70 53 14 3
2584 This is as good as it gets 1.2857 0.06153 70 52 16 2
2585 Trust me, whatever they throw at you, don't take the bait. 1.2857 0.06091 77 58 16 3
2586 Yes, I had a successful singing career. 1.2857 0.06793 70 54 12 4
2587 Who are you calling stuck-up? 1.2857 0.06167 63 46 16 1
2588 For the last time, there's no button. 1.2857 0.06948 63 48 12 3
2589 Beware, my son. Fame is overrated. 1.2857 0.06005 84 64 16 4
2590 I don't want to talk about it 1.2857 0.07307 63 49 10 4
2591 Balenciaga Summer Collection 1.2857 0.06793 70 54 12 4
2592 I don't care I'm supposed to be indoor... 1.2857 0.07091 70 55 10 5
2593 I worry and I'm not happy, OK ? 1.2857 0.06481 70 53 14 3
2594 You’re next. 1.2857 0.06153 70 52 16 2
2595 what? What do YOU do for a living ?! 1.2857 0.05438 70 50 20 0
2596 God, I’m so bored 1.2857 0.06091 77 58 16 3
2597 And don’t you dare tell me I sound like a broken record 1.2857 0.05502 77 56 20 1
2598 Well, guess who has a better shelf life 1.2857 0.06629 77 60 12 5
2599 For the last time Cindy, I haven't had any work done 1.2857 0.05804 77 57 18 2
2600 Catch and release gone bad. 1.2857 0.06153 70 52 16 2
2601 Gee is that your school uniform? Brutal! 1.2857 0.07307 63 49 10 4
2602 ‘No, and stop asking me to sing that song!’ 1.2857 0.05761 84 63 18 3
2603 Being on the board means a title without voting rights. 1.2841 0.06036 88 68 15 5
2604 Well, maybe I like playing the victim. 1.2840 0.06145 81 62 15 4
2605 You don’t attend school? 1.2840 0.05889 81 61 17 3
2606 Fishes version of a walk of shame. 1.2840 0.05889 81 61 17 3
2607 And then he said, " Really. I can make you a singing sensation." And here I am. 1.2840 0.06145 81 62 15 4
2608 It's really hard to find a home for a fish with mobility issues! 1.2840 0.06145 81 62 15 4
2609 They just appointed me Chairman of the Board 1.2840 0.05889 81 61 17 3
2610 Get plastered again last night Fred? 1.2840 0.06145 81 62 15 4
2611 Now you know what your dad does for a living. 1.2840 0.06145 81 62 15 4
2612 Never go for a worm. 1.2838 0.06531 74 57 13 4
2613 I'm not too impressed with this 'catch and release' thing. 1.2838 0.06241 74 56 15 3
2614 Sure, you said “what... one more bite will kill you?” 1.2838 0.05937 74 55 17 2
2615 Beware the Hook 1.2838 0.07332 74 60 7 7
2616 The hygienist kept complaining about my plaque. 1.2838 0.05937 74 55 17 2
2617 You’re future is bright! Ride every wave! 1.2838 0.06241 74 56 15 3
2618 This is a “catch…and release” state, but that ellipsis… 1.2838 0.06241 74 56 15 3
2619 Yeah, yeah, I know. I shouldn't have opened my big mouth. 1.2838 0.05937 74 55 17 2
2620 Son, be very careful. Once they catch you, there's no going back. 1.2838 0.06241 74 56 15 3
2621 Don't look at me like that, I went for the worm because I was hungry! 1.2838 0.05616 74 54 19 1
2622 I see dead people 1.2838 0.06531 74 57 13 4
2623 He couldn't just fry me up and eat me, no. Now I turn my head and sing every time he claps. 1.2838 0.05937 74 55 17 2
2624 I don’t know why they said they wanted a bass singer if they were just going to hire some fat guy. 1.2838 0.06531 74 57 13 4
2625 I escaped from a cabin by the lake. Horrible place had a Super Bass-O-Matic too! 1.2836 0.06311 67 50 15 2
2626 Is that a new Instagram filter? 1.2836 0.06660 67 51 13 3
2627 Don't be surprised, it's all your fault. 1.2836 0.05942 67 49 17 1
2628 I got laid off. They’re replacing us with robots! 1.2836 0.06660 67 51 13 3
2629 This is what you get when you wish for a trophy husband. 1.2836 0.06311 67 50 15 2
2630 Well I WAS the leader of the pack 1.2836 0.05942 67 49 17 1
2631 Worst of all they replaced me with a fake Picasso. 1.2836 0.06311 67 50 15 2
2632 it wasn't a fly 1.2836 0.07307 67 53 9 5
2633 So, one hundred renditions of 'Take me to the river' and here I am! 1.2836 0.06991 67 52 11 4
2634 Don’t believe what it says - I’m not fifteen pounds soaking wet. 1.2836 0.06660 67 51 13 3
2635 My school thought I deserved a trophy. 1.2836 0.06311 67 50 15 2
2636 Well, it beats becoming a Filet-O-Fish. 1.2836 0.06660 67 51 13 3
2637 I thought being a trophy wife would be better than this. 1.2836 0.06991 67 52 11 4
2638 I went from trophy to trash, but at least I’m still on the board. 1.2836 0.06660 67 51 13 3
2639 Worry -- and while you're at it, don't be happy." 1.2836 0.06991 67 52 11 4
2640 The worst part is how they look at you 1.2836 0.06660 67 51 13 3
2641 Swim past one. more. time...I dare you 1.2836 0.06660 67 51 13 3
2642 So I talked to your friend about the job opportunity. 1.2836 0.05942 67 49 17 1
2643 Really? I have to take this one for the team?? 1.2836 0.06660 67 51 13 3
2644 avoid the free worms brother, avoid the free worms… 1.2836 0.05942 67 49 17 1
2645 I told you those minnows were out of season. 1.2836 0.06311 67 50 15 2
2646 The worst part? My names not even Billy 1.2836 0.06660 67 51 13 3
2647 Sometimes I feel like a fish out of water... 1.2836 0.06991 67 52 11 4
2648 It's NOT a cutting board you moron! 1.2836 0.07307 67 53 9 5
2649 When you said you were “a catch” on fishharmony you weren’t kidding 1.2836 0.06991 67 52 11 4
2650 First they catch you. Then mount you on a platter. Then they dump you. 1.2833 0.06761 60 45 13 2
2651 Being prize catch isn't all it's cracked up to be. 1.2833 0.06761 60 45 13 2
2652 I’m not saying it’s like sashimi or anything, but being famous is definitely not all what it’s cut out to be. 1.2833 0.06330 60 44 15 1
2653 Remember when you dared me to eat that worm?!? 1.2833 0.06761 60 45 13 2
2654 That’s right Becky, I’m back! 1.2833 0.07167 60 46 11 3
2655 Give it a few years Phill, we all end up here 1.2833 0.06330 60 44 15 1
2656 He said I wouldn't be just a trophy wife. 1.2824 0.06175 85 66 14 5
2657 My last wish to the magic genie is to be immortal. 1.2821 0.06294 78 60 14 4
2658 Stay in school. Trust me. 1.2821 0.06554 78 61 12 5
2659 I’m not sure about that Pilates class you recommended. This plank somehow doesn’t seem right. 1.2821 0.06024 78 59 16 3
2660 Why don't you ever see my side? 1.2821 0.06803 78 62 10 6
2661 I've been looking for a trophy wife. 1.2821 0.06024 78 59 16 3
2662 It beats lying on a dinner plate. 1.2821 0.05741 78 58 18 2
2663 Nice headboard, Bob. Is it Ikea? 1.2821 0.07043 78 63 8 7
2664 ‘I’m not just some trophy wife’ 1.2821 0.06024 78 59 16 3
2665 I swear to god Harold, if you ask me to sing that song ONE more time, Im leaving and taking the kids with me. 1.2821 0.06294 78 60 14 4
2666 Yeah, I used to be on The Sopranos, and now I sleep with the fishes… 1.2821 0.07043 78 63 8 7
2667 you’re just jealous that they thought I was the better catch 1.2821 0.06554 78 61 12 5
2668 Don't tell me plaque buildup isn't a thing 1.2817 0.06079 71 53 16 2
2669 No, I can find my own way to the river perfectly well thank you! 1.2817 0.06401 71 54 14 3
2670 Don’t eat the shiny worms. 1.2817 0.05738 71 52 18 1
2671 There’s something fishy about this 1.2817 0.06401 71 54 14 3
2672 Well that’s a fine kettle of fish your in! 1.2817 0.05738 71 52 18 1
2673 Yah. You said it looked tasty' 1.2817 0.06401 71 54 14 3
2674 We all live in a bubble, buddy. I just happened to design mine. 1.2817 0.06401 71 54 14 3
2675 No, you eat. I’m stuffed. 1.2817 0.06708 71 55 12 4
2676 I'm taking no more requests for Under The Boardwalk. 1.2817 0.06401 71 54 14 3
2677 Billy Bass my ass. 1.2817 0.07002 71 56 10 5
2678 Mounted on a plaque is way better than a dinner plate. 1.2817 0.06401 71 54 14 3
2679 I've got a song for you; it’s called never sign away the rights to your own image and likeness for a one-time fee. 1.2817 0.06708 71 55 12 4
2680 This isn’t what I had in mind when I pursued a singing career 1.2817 0.06708 71 55 12 4
2681 I hate we have to work back in the office again. 1.2817 0.06401 71 54 14 3
2682 This is not even to scale 1.2817 0.06079 71 53 16 2
2683 No, having a name plate does not make me a school master. 1.2817 0.05738 71 52 18 1
2684 Yes, Steve, I know what the song says but looking back, I probably should’ve worried. 1.2817 0.06401 71 54 14 3
2685 Really? Covid took away YOUR freedom? 1.2817 0.06708 71 55 12 4
2686 Um, my preferred name is William. 1.2812 0.06853 64 49 12 3
2687 Just trying it out, but I think I'll stick with cremation. 1.2812 0.06481 64 48 14 2
2688 Don’t swallow the line, babe. 1.2812 0.06481 64 48 14 2
2689 Take it from me, keep your mouth shut and don't leave your school. 1.2812 0.06087 64 47 16 1
2690 Yes, I am planking, so what? 1.2812 0.06853 64 49 12 3
2691 You said, "Date?" They heard, "Plate!" 1.2812 0.05665 64 46 18 0
2692 Well, this is not what I had in mind when I accepted to sit on the board. 1.2812 0.06481 64 48 14 2
2693 ...and can you believe I’m only being paid scale! 1.2812 0.05665 64 46 18 0
2694 Try to sneak in one lousy Nickleback cover and it's sayonara, sucker. 1.2812 0.06853 64 49 12 3
2695 Wise up, the body snatchers are out to get you. 1.2812 0.06853 64 49 12 3
2696 You're no prize. 1.2812 0.06481 64 48 14 2
2697 Perfect your Free Style, it's no fun being a Trophy Fish! 1.2812 0.07206 64 50 10 4
2698 I HATE being objectified. 1.2812 0.06481 64 48 14 2
2699 …so that’s why I gave Seaspiracy a ‘thumbs-down’ on Netflix 1.2812 0.06853 64 49 12 3
2700 Our competitiveness is what got me here! 1.2812 0.06853 64 49 12 3
2701 Don’t be shy. Come on board! 1.2812 0.06481 64 48 14 2
2702 Now will you listen to Me? 1.2807 0.06505 57 42 14 1
2703 It’ll be hilarious, she said. 1.2807 0.06505 57 42 14 1
2704 Celebrity isn't all it's cracked up to be. 1.2805 0.05562 82 61 19 2
2705 Is this what you thought when I said I wanna get nailed? 1.2805 0.05562 82 61 19 2
2706 Yeah, I fell for the ol' "you're gonna like the way you look" hook, line, and sinker. 1.2805 0.06079 82 63 15 4
2707 So they said I didn’t fit the hype house decor. 1.2805 0.06322 82 64 13 5
2708 Now I don’t want you putting me up on a pedestal. 1.2805 0.05827 82 62 17 3
2709 There's two schools of thought of how I ended up here. 1.2800 0.06169 75 57 15 3
2710 'Take me to the river' I said. 'Drop me in the water.' Must have been 4,000 times before they listened. 1.2800 0.06454 75 58 13 4
2711 They didn't even capture my good side. 1.2800 0.06169 75 57 15 3
2712 Sing one more note of ‘Don’t worry, be happy’ and I’ll knock your block off. 1.2800 0.06169 75 57 15 3
2713 Hey, I'm tired of hearing about how bored you are! 1.2800 0.05554 75 55 19 1
2714 screw the plank, let me explain about the bubbles! 1.2800 0.06990 75 60 9 6
2715 I’d rather be in a singing commercial than on someone’s dinner plate! 1.2800 0.05869 75 56 17 2
2716 I'm the plaque that got away. 1.2800 0.05220 75 54 21 0
2717 Don’t get hooked on the stuff son… stay in school 1.2800 0.06454 75 58 13 4
2718 If it isn't Mister-early-bird-catches-the-worm. 1.2800 0.05554 75 55 19 1
2719 Framing Nemo 1.2800 0.06454 75 58 13 4
2720 No Frank, you can’t understand what it’s like to be objectified. 1.2800 0.06169 75 57 15 3
2721 I don’t know for sure, but I think I’m screwed. 1.2800 0.06454 75 58 13 4
2722 You told me your first crush was a Royal Mountie! 1.2800 0.05869 75 56 17 2
2723 Tony really hated me as gift. 1.2800 0.06728 75 59 11 5
2724 When I told my wife I wanted to be put on a pedestal, I don't think she was really listening. 1.2800 0.06169 75 57 15 3
2725 Dress for the job you want, not the job you have. Manifest Nemo. Manifest. 1.2800 0.06169 75 57 15 3
2726 Bobby McFerrin lied. 1.2794 0.06900 68 53 11 4
2727 You're not much of a prize catch yourself. 1.2794 0.05869 68 50 17 1
2728 I am worried and no, I'm not happy! 1.2794 0.06231 68 51 15 2
2729 Does this board make me look fat? 1.2794 0.06574 68 52 13 3
2730 Getting an award isn't as fun as you'd think. 1.2794 0.05278 68 51 16 1
2731 Years ago I made it big as Big Mouth Billy Bass and now look what happened to me! 1.2794 0.06231 68 51 15 2
2732 Spend enough time with those folks and I guess you adopt their politics... 1.2794 0.06574 68 52 13 3
2733 This is what happens when you insist on eating out. 1.2794 0.06574 68 52 13 3
2734 I know now, Winning isn't everything.. 1.2794 0.06574 68 52 13 3
2735 I sang "Take Me to the River,Drop me in the Water "one too many times,and here I am. 1.2794 0.06231 68 51 15 2
2736 You said you wanted a trophy spouse! 1.2794 0.06900 68 53 11 4
2737 The physics of this are untenable. 1.2794 0.06574 68 52 13 3
2738 Trophy wife was not a metaphor 1.2794 0.06900 68 53 11 4
2739 this first time surfing didn't result as I thought it would be... 1.2794 0.06231 68 51 15 2
2740 The out-of-body experience is overrated. 1.2791 0.05883 86 66 16 4
2741 If you don't stay in the school you'll end up like me... 1.2791 0.05883 86 66 16 4
2742 Technically, it was still catch and release... just a bit later in the process than one might expect. 1.2787 0.06666 61 46 13 2
2743 Go away, I am in disguise from the fishermen. 1.2787 0.06666 61 46 13 2
2744 I told you I was bored. 1.2787 0.07064 61 47 11 3
2745 The only difference is not feeling hunger 1.2787 0.07064 61 47 11 3
2746 Surprised to see me old chum? After I took the bait, I became a reel legend. 1.2787 0.06242 61 45 15 1
2747 I was starting to think they'd never throw me back. 1.2787 0.07064 61 47 11 3
2748 Wait it says I'm NOT waterproof? 1.2787 0.07064 61 47 11 3
2749 So I tasted it. Look what happened! 1.2787 0.07064 61 47 11 3
2750 Just keep swimming 1.2787 0.07064 61 47 11 3
2751 The vet says it’s the worst case of plaque psoriasis she’s seen in her career. 1.2787 0.07799 61