Contest #744 Summary

Name	Value
Submission deadline	2021-02-21T20:51:00.000Z
Voting started	-
Voting ended	2021-03-07T20:52:00.000Z
Finalists announced	2021-03-01T20:52:00.000Z
Magazine(s) announcing finalists issued	March 8, 2021
Number of captions	12354
Number of responses	1110562
Number of participants	-

Rank	Caption	Mean	Precision	Total votes	"Unfunny" votes	"Somewhat funny" votes	"Funny" votes
0	Your going as a satellite dish? I'm going as a pilgrim.	1.8905	0.01728	2128	817	736	575
1	As a Republican I have to wear it this way, otherwise it's impossible to stick my head up my ass.	1.8873	0.02329	1411	628	314	469
2	Any place you'd like me to lick for you?	1.8836	0.01924	1839	753	554	532
3	It might be on backwards, but now they put the thermometer in my mouth.	1.8793	0.01803	2105	877	616	612
4	No one wears their cone like that anymore Dad	1.8757	0.01743	2004	752	750	502
5	I could never pull that off.	1.8463	0.01614	2420	983	831	606
6	Technically, I'm in compliance.	1.8309	0.01757	1887	739	731	417
7	I think I got the placebo.	1.8274	0.01771	1941	790	698	453
8	I'm getting much better mileage too.	1.8269	0.01785	1895	764	695	436
9	You went to the vet. I went to the seminary.	1.8251	0.01831	1830	755	644	431
10	This way I can still drink out of the toilet.	1.8235	0.01713	2125	886	730	509
11	Elizabethan is out. Puritan is in.	1.8204	0.01844	1815	752	637	426
12	Is it true you can hear the ocean?"	1.8192	0.01800	1825	734	687	404
13	Run through the doggie door as fast as you can. Trust me.	1.8182	0.01862	1815	769	610	436
14	Mine's a placebo.	1.8179	0.01733	2120	905	697	518
15	This way, I can still drink from the toilet.	1.8165	0.01840	1820	758	638	424
16	Seriously? You didn’t know it was reversible?	1.8143	0.01729	1949	787	740	422
17	No, it’s not medical. I chased the cat up a lamp	1.8138	0.01838	1880	807	619	454
18	I saw my human do it with his baseball cap	1.8078	0.01817	1831	766	653	412
19	I slipped the vet a five.	1.8069	0.01827	1802	753	646	403
20	Think I look stupid, my master has one that covers his mouth and nose"	1.8057	0.01863	1863	823	583	457
21	I like to think outside the cone.	1.7795	0.01792	1859	813	648	398
22	Nah. I just chased a cat up a lamp.	1.7778	0.02136	1395	633	439	323
23	Every revolution begins with a small act of defiance.	1.7698	0.01839	1690	722	635	333
24	I can’t get at my stitches but I can still drink from the toilet.	1.7657	0.01772	1848	806	672	370
25	It’s tough, but I can still lick mine.	1.7648	0.01863	1752	792	583	377
26	It’s simple. Just run real fast through the doggy door.	1.7643	0.01863	1727	769	596	362
27	It's a shame that cone-wearing has become a partisan issue.	1.7627	0.02172	1281	575	435	271
28	Just stick your head out of the car window at about 60	1.7615	0.01885	1635	716	593	326
29	Do you think this makes me look fast?	1.7612	0.01858	1738	780	594	364
30	I see you opted for amplification over aerodynamics."	1.7596	0.01936	1539	675	560	304
31	Designed by RBG. Yours?	1.7580	0.01902	1682	764	561	357
32	I'm more of an extrovert	1.7551	0.02365	1070	483	366	221
33	It's easy. Just wait for your next ride with the window down.	1.7527	0.01768	1820	798	674	348
34	It was easy. I just stuck my head out of the car window.	1.7514	0.01800	1770	788	638	344
35	At least I can still get my head into the toilet.	1.7473	0.01882	1642	743	576	323
36	Yeah, they're reversible. Who knew, right?	1.7447	0.01861	1594	699	605	290
37	Online vet.	1.7439	0.02620	902	424	285	193
38	You can wear it like this if you're 6 feet apart.	1.7431	0.01937	1561	709	544	308
39	I used to wear it that way, but I couldn't stand the acoustics.	1.7407	0.01886	1512	653	598	261
40	It’s not a cone of shame — I’ve been ordained!	1.7375	0.02034	1425	656	487	282
41	I discovered the cat door .... game changer.	1.7356	0.02068	1354	620	473	261
42	Neutered? I just promised celibacy and got this clerical collar instead.	1.7205	0.02404	1084	533	321	230
43	I mean... I knew it was wrong but why say anything?	1.7187	0.02336	1070	505	361	204
44	What echo?	1.7113	0.02407	942	432	350	160
45	I've looked at life from both sides now. This side is better.	1.7039	0.02560	895	436	289	170
46	It's easy ... just run really fast through a cat door.	1.7037	0.02512	901	432	306	163
47	They gave me a choice. Ask next time.	1.7026	0.02499	881	412	319	150
48	Catholic or Episcopal?	1.6961	0.02730	803	399	249	155
49	Wear the cone or the cone wears you.	1.6887	0.02728	742	359	258	125
50	Fauci said this way is much more effective	1.6877	0.02911	714	362	213	139
51	Have you seen my cone anywhere?	1.6859	0.02822	710	353	232	125
52	Couldn't take the echo.	1.6849	0.02768	714	343	253	118
53	Actually, mine's a lampshade. We just partied like it was 2019.	1.6829	0.02918	697	355	210	132
54	First time, huh?	1.6809	0.02807	680	325	247	108
55	I don't have stitches, I just like the look.	1.6801	0.02850	672	325	237	110
56	May the wind always be at your back	1.6797	0.02939	640	314	218	108
57	It serves no purpose but I get lots of 'likes.'	1.6771	0.02913	641	311	226	104
58	And just like that, I went from conic to iconic.	1.6593	0.03281	540	280	164	96
59	If it's any consolation, I can't see mine either.	1.6531	0.03274	516	265	166	85
60	I understand it's a fairly common occurrence with umbrellas.	1.6512	0.03271	496	248	173	75
61	It's not about protecting me; it's about protecting you.	1.6501	0.03321	503	261	159	83
62	This is nothing. You should see how my human wears a face mask.	1.6499	0.03502	477	252	140	85
63	My owner is dyslexic but he’s still a good boy	1.6492	0.03297	496	253	165	78
64	Trust me, you'll meet ten times more girl dogs this way.	1.6425	0.03462	456	235	149	72
65	I can think outside of the cone now.	1.6418	0.03455	455	234	150	71
66	I bribed the vet.	1.6380	0.03510	442	229	144	69
67	I’m still mourning the loss of RBG.	1.6353	0.03710	436	239	117	80
68	They said I have to wear it; they didn't say how.	1.6298	0.03545	416	214	142	60
69	Why, yes, my vet has switched to telemedicine.	1.6247	0.03647	397	207	132	58
70	My owners are dyslexic.	1.6220	0.03805	381	204	117	60
71	I was trying to turn off the table lamp, what's your deal	1.6215	0.03781	391	211	117	63
72	Gesundheit!	1.6130	0.04196	354	205	81	68
73	My vet believes in alternative medicine.	1.6116	0.03980	345	187	105	53
74	Next time, eat the instructions before he reads them.	1.6054	0.04151	332	186	91	55
75	Try it - you’ll never look back.	1.5882	0.04357	289	163	82	44
76	No, wrong, it's more frustrating: I can see it but still can't lick it!	1.5763	0.04652	262	153	67	42
77	I paid off the vet.	1.5753	0.04330	259	141	87	31
78	It’s not a cone, I just got ordained.	1.5753	0.04695	259	152	65	42
79	I asked for a cup too, but they gave me a cone.	1.5742	0.04404	256	141	83	32
80	I just stuck my head out the car window when we were going 70mph.	1.5731	0.04807	260	157	57	46
81	We're Jewish.	1.5643	0.04836	241	148	53	40
82	He said I had to wear it. He didn't say how.	1.5622	0.04815	233	136	63	34
83	It’s hard to run, but I can still lick my balls.	1.5560	0.04815	232	139	58	35
84	It’s not what you wear, but how you wear it.	1.5550	0.04730	218	123	69	26
85	My body, my choice.	1.5529	0.05178	208	125	51	32
86	Is yours an N95? Mine’s a 59N.	1.5509	0.04942	216	127	59	30
87	I haven’t done laundry in a while so I just wear it inside out.	1.5500	0.04744	220	126	67	27
88	My groomer told me it was more flattering if I wore it off my face.	1.5459	0.04506	218	120	77	21
89	Old school—I love it.	1.5401	0.04985	187	106	61	20
90	I can’t hear as well but I run faster.	1.5396	0.05162	202	122	51	29
91	Can't wait to see them try to put the leash on.!	1.5357	0.04979	196	114	59	23
92	Regardless, neither of us have testicles now, Brandon	1.5357	0.05285	196	120	47	29
93	I've found there are positive aspects to having stupid owners.	1.5312	0.04752	192	110	63	19
94	The hardest part of being a Priest is the vow I took to never again sniff another butt."	1.5294	0.05270	187	113	49	25
95	My owner has a convertible	1.5258	0.05073	194	116	54	24
96	It was so obvious. Just keep barking loud and use it as a megaphone until they can't stand it anymore!	1.5246	0.04828	183	108	56	19
97	What. can I say, I am an influencer.	1.5246	0.04828	183	108	57	18
98	Trust me. You'll see the advantage when you stick your head out the car window.	1.5243	0.05203	185	111	51	23
99	It's really just a gentle reminder - I'm on the honor system.	1.5222	0.05134	180	106	54	20
100	Run faster.	1.5198	0.05614	177	112	38	27
101	Don't spit in the wind and don't look up in the rain.	1.5174	0.05181	172	101	53	18
102	Pilgrim. You?	1.5146	0.05524	171	106	42	23
103	Yeah, mine’s an innie.	1.5141	0.05074	177	104	55	18
104	I got it on clearance.	1.5138	0.05054	181	107	55	19
105	Looks like I'm in the control group.	1.5134	0.05107	187	113	52	22
106	I heel to a Dutch master.	1.5120	0.05454	166	101	45	20
107	This way, my head gets stuck IN the food bag.	1.5119	0.05600	168	105	40	23
108	You should see how my owner wears his mask.	1.5116	0.05311	172	104	48	20
109	I finally got out the cat door	1.5115	0.05632	174	111	37	26
110	My owner also takes his mask off to talk.	1.5091	0.05273	165	98	50	17
111	I see we remember last night very differently.	1.5062	0.05344	162	97	48	17
112	It's in honor of RBG	1.5060	0.05455	166	102	44	20
113	My new girlfriend wanted me to get mine reversed	1.5057	0.05513	174	110	40	24
114	You coming....or going?	1.5031	0.05461	163	100	44	19
115	I finally turned my life around.	1.5029	0.05270	171	104	48	19
116	¿Guard-dog? I prefer being avant-guard.	1.5000	0.05092	170	106	46	18
117	If you ask me, they're both wrong.	1.5000	0.05788	156	99	36	21
118	You wear the cone, don't let the cone wear you.	1.5000	0.05264	156	92	50	14
119	They didn't tell you it's reversible?	1.4971	0.05003	171	101	55	15
120	Cone of shame or cape of pride, it all depends on your perspective	1.4969	0.05774	159	105	32	22
121	You think this is bad? You should see how my owner wears his mask.	1.4967	0.05574	153	94	42	17
122	The best part is nobody can figure out if I'm a genius or an idiot.	1.4966	0.05493	147	88	45	14
123	It's my RBG Dissent collar.	1.4940	0.05472	168	106	41	21
124	Yes, my Veterinarian did get his degree online.	1.4937	0.05677	160	102	37	21
125	Just stick your head out the window.	1.4937	0.05589	158	101	37	20
126	My vet taught at Trump U.	1.4934	0.05904	152	98	33	21
127	Yes Bob, my people do struggle with IKEA projects. How did you know?	1.4933	0.05734	150	94	38	18
128	New cone, same shame.	1.4906	0.05418	159	98	44	17
129	Yeah, I did have my head out the window on the way here. How'd you know?	1.4906	0.05563	159	100	40	19
130	You be the nun, I’ll be the priest.	1.4904	0.05616	157	99	39	19
131	You know how he never follows the instructions? Well, it finally paid off.	1.4903	0.05670	155	98	38	19
132	I really should have seen this coming when he started wearing his baseball cap backwards.	1.4902	0.05800	153	98	35	20
133	I sneezed really hard	1.4901	0.05469	151	92	44	15
134	In their defence, there were no instructions, but my owners aren’t the squeakiest toys in the basket...	1.4899	0.05603	149	92	41	16
135	I’m a dog of the cloth.	1.4898	0.05822	147	93	36	18
136	I still can't lick myself, but at least I have my dignity.	1.4898	0.05901	147	94	34	19
137	Nah, I'm good. It's a lampshade.	1.4897	0.05963	145	93	33	19
138	Mine was actually a yoga injury: happened during downwards dog.	1.4861	0.06074	144	94	30	20
139	You bark. I'll bite.	1.4828	0.05962	145	94	32	19
140	It's really changed my outlook.	1.4792	0.05484	144	88	43	13
141	My ancestors came on the Mayflower.	1.4779	0.05713	136	84	39	13
142	Yeah, I still can't lick my balls, but at least I got my peripheral vision back.	1.4779	0.05901	136	86	35	15
143	Sticking your head out of the car window is the solution to every problem.	1.4779	0.05993	136	87	33	16
144	I like how it frames your face!	1.4762	0.05404	147	90	44	13
145	My homage to RBG.	1.4759	0.06118	145	97	27	21
146	Nope. No surgery, I'm just a really messy eater.	1.4745	0.05587	137	84	41	12
147	My therapist is encouraging me to practice thinking outside the cone.	1.4745	0.05682	137	85	39	13
148	If you wear it this way, it makes you look slimmer.	1.4741	0.05838	135	85	36	14
149	My vet is from Australia	1.4737	0.05902	133	84	35	14
150	Car ride. Open window. Voila!	1.4737	0.05902	133	84	35	14
151	You don't let the cone wear you........You wear the cone.	1.4733	0.06162	131	85	30	16
152	I saw it in Dogue.	1.4722	0.05742	144	92	36	16
153	I'm transitioning.	1.4710	0.05363	138	83	45	10
154	I volunteered for a clinical trial.	1.4710	0.05557	138	85	41	12
155	It’s called fashion, Bob.	1.4701	0.05821	134	87	32	15
156	Gorilla Glue. Don’t ask.	1.4697	0.05530	132	85	34	13
157	Vet school intern, why?	1.4688	0.05757	128	79	38	11
158	Oh, mine's not functional; I'm just accessorizing	1.4685	0.05770	143	92	35	16
159	My owner's an idiot.	1.4681	0.06002	141	93	30	18
160	Peripheral vision is superior but I still can’t lick anything worthwhile.	1.4679	0.05489	156	100	39	17
161	The cat did it	1.4676	0.05893	139	90	33	16
162	You know what they call the guy who graduates last from vet school?	1.4662	0.06182	133	88	28	17
163	Nice! You got the noise cancelling one.	1.4662	0.05703	133	83	38	12
164	So out of curiosity, is your toilet paper over or under?	1.4656	0.06159	131	88	26	17
165	I have an umbrella that does that.	1.4651	0.06132	129	84	30	15
166	Dude, that's not how you wear your mask.	1.4651	0.05828	129	81	36	12
167	...and there’s virtually no turbulence when I’m car surfing.	1.4651	0.06033	129	83	32	14
168	Less Cone-of-Shame, more Super Hero Cape!	1.4648	0.06052	142	95	28	19
169	Just my luck to get a dyslexic vet.	1.4646	0.05787	127	79	37	11
170	Mine is from Ikea.	1.4646	0.05894	127	80	35	12
171	And when you graduate, you turn it this way.	1.4646	0.05894	127	80	35	12
172	Actually, I just do it to annoy my parents.	1.4627	0.05720	134	87	33	14
173	I had a good lawyer.	1.4627	0.05960	134	87	32	15
174	I can see you're not from around here.	1.4621	0.05832	132	84	35	13
175	This way you can see the mailman coming.	1.4621	0.05526	132	81	41	10
176	No, I had shoulder surgery.	1.4615	0.06095	130	85	30	15
177	Yup, My human wears his ball cap backwards too.	1.4609	0.05859	128	81	35	12
178	I got off with a warning.	1.4603	0.06032	126	81	32	13
179	Yeah, we were going about 60-65 miles per hour when it happened.	1.4597	0.05771	124	77	37	10
180	‘This way I can’t lick my stitches but I can still drink from the toilet.’	1.4597	0.06618	124	85	21	18
181	Hi Bert, word of advice, don't put your head out of a car window.	1.4593	0.06018	135	89	30	16
182	Dyslexic owner. Even better, she keeps telling everyone I'm a god.	1.4590	0.05895	122	79	31	12
183	Actually, Elizabethans wore them this way.	1.4589	0.05423	146	92	41	13
184	I think wearing it backwards makes my hips look slimmer.	1.4583	0.06251	120	78	29	13
185	Did you try turning it off and then turning it back on?	1.4583	0.06138	120	77	31	12
186	Fashion is all about risk.	1.4583	0.06138	120	82	24	14
187	It’s different, but it’s my small way to honor Ruth Bader Ginsberg	1.4574	0.06226	129	86	27	16
188	The pharmacist swore the generic was just as good as name brand	1.4574	0.06029	129	84	31	14
189	I ate through the bottom of my bowl. You?	1.4571	0.05587	140	89	38	13
190	I like it in a sort of RBG way.	1.4567	0.05995	127	82	32	13
191	It depends on whether you want to be Queen Elizabeth or the Pope	1.4567	0.06098	127	83	30	14
192	My owner works in aerodynamics, what does yours do?	1.4560	0.05957	125	80	33	12
193	I can’t lick there either.	1.4552	0.05567	134	84	39	11
194	I know, but this way I can still drink out of the toilet!	1.4552	0.05765	134	86	35	13
195	It’s alternative medicine.	1.4552	0.05465	134	83	41	10
196	I think my person is dyslexic.	1.4552	0.05447	145	92	40	13
197	Ignore the cat. You don’t look like a bundt pan.	1.4545	0.06320	121	80	27	14
198	Well, I’m three now, so they started letting me dress myself	1.4538	0.05892	130	84	33	13
199	It turns out my vet got his degree at Trump University.	1.4538	0.06509	119	80	24	15
200	I'm seeing a specialist.	1.4531	0.06061	128	84	30	14
201	So I just said to him, let me scratch my ears and I'll stop peeing in the house.	1.4530	0.06008	117	74	33	10
202	I had mine reversed on appeal.	1.4530	0.06130	117	75	31	11
203	I may not be able to lick my own balls but at least now I can lick yours.	1.4530	0.05884	117	73	35	9
204	One of us looks ridiculous.	1.4524	0.06027	126	82	31	13
205	I had the opposite problem	1.4516	0.06098	124	81	30	13
206	So, Gordo, first thing you do is find a really small doggie door. Then you give yourself a good running start . . .	1.4516	0.06309	124	83	26	15
207	I was blind but now I see.	1.4511	0.05491	133	83	40	10
208	It’s called inversion therapy.	1.4504	0.05957	131	86	31	14
209	Do it my way and they’ll never get a leash on you again.	1.4503	0.05614	151	100	34	17
210	Used the cat door. Worked like a charm.	1.4493	0.05733	138	90	34	14
211	I wonder which one of us got the placebo.	1.4488	0.05990	127	83	31	13
212	I have Dutch Masters.	1.4483	0.06519	116	78	24	14
213	It's easy. Just stick you head out the car window at about 65mph .	1.4483	0.06403	116	77	26	13
214	No, YOU look like a lamp shade. I look like a ballerina.	1.4480	0.05952	125	81	32	12
215	It's now a 'cone of esteem'	1.4463	0.05683	121	78	33	10
216	I guess we look pretty conical.	1.4463	0.05862	121	77	34	10
217	Why would you assume it goes that way?	1.4462	0.06086	130	87	28	15
218	Believe me, aerodynamics is a game-changer!	1.4460	0.05515	139	89	38	12
219	My human companion is dyslexic.	1.4454	0.06612	119	82	21	16
220	I'll text you the name of my veterinarian.	1.4453	0.06157	128	86	27	15
221	I got ordained while you were in the hospital.	1.4444	0.06243	117	77	28	12
222	Just don't look up when it rains.	1.4444	0.06126	126	84	28	14
223	This is nothing. You should see her umbrella.	1.4435	0.05948	115	73	33	9
224	Apparently I CAN learn new tricks.	1.4426	0.05826	122	78	34	10
225	After A Handmaid’s Tale, things changed.	1.4426	0.05941	122	79	32	11
226	I think it's a placebo.	1.4425	0.06151	113	73	30	10
227	It fogs up my glasses.	1.4419	0.05917	129	85	31	13
228	I can't lick my own nuts either, but at least I can lick yours.	1.4417	0.06239	120	80	27	13
229	First time?	1.4417	0.05893	120	77	33	10
230	I'm kind of an extrovert.	1.4417	0.05893	120	77	33	10
231	They say this way makes my butt look smaller	1.4414	0.06359	111	73	27	11
232	It’s business casual	1.4404	0.05746	109	72	28	9
233	As far as those hard-to-reach areas are concerned, maybe we could work out a deal.	1.4404	0.06443	109	72	26	11
234	My owners are huge RBG fans.	1.4404	0.06573	109	73	24	12
235	I was told it has a slimming effect.	1.4404	0.05746	109	67	36	6
236	I got the new iCone.	1.4400	0.05725	125	80	35	10
237	Together, there is no problem that we can't lick.	1.4400	0.05946	125	82	31	12
238	The tag said reversible.	1.4397	0.06512	116	79	23	14
239	I see someone forgot about casual Friday!	1.4386	0.05849	114	72	34	8
240	You tried eating yet?	1.4386	0.06109	114	74	30	10
241	Mine's not prescription, I just like the way it looks.	1.4386	0.05980	114	73	32	9
242	It’s my dissenting collar.	1.4380	0.05737	121	77	35	9
243	Take thee to a nunnery	1.4375	0.06314	112	74	27	11
244	I could never understand "less than" and "greater than" either.	1.4370	0.06160	119	79	28	12
245	So I told him I'll lick myself wherever I want. What's your story?	1.4364	0.06776	110	76	20	14
246	Deal. I scratch your butt, you scratch my ears.	1.4364	0.06396	110	73	26	11
247	I switch it around a block from the house.	1.4364	0.06652	110	75	22	13
248	Nah, I'm just a pilgrim.	1.4359	0.05994	117	76	31	10
249	The first time through the doggie door is the toughest	1.4359	0.05614	117	73	37	7
250	It’s called fashion, Kevin.	1.4355	0.06086	124	83	28	13
251	Bitches love it.	1.4352	0.06481	108	72	25	11
252	I’m Jewish.	1.4348	0.06780	115	81	18	16
253	I ate the instructions.	1.4340	0.06431	106	70	26	10
254	Apparently I had a better lawyer.	1.4340	0.06431	106	70	26	10
255	Does this make my tail look shorter?	1.4340	0.06146	106	68	30	8
256	I just don't believe the science.	1.4340	0.06838	106	73	20	13
257	I just got tired of hearing myself think.	1.4340	0.06431	106	70	26	10
258	Actually, my ancestors came over on the Mayflower.	1.4336	0.06143	113	74	29	10
259	Talk about windy!	1.4336	0.06143	113	74	29	10
260	So it’s backwards. What are you, the cone police?	1.4336	0.06517	113	77	23	13
261	Oh,they don't make me wear it. I just feel bad about my neck.	1.4333	0.06119	120	80	28	12
262	Yeah, and my owner wears his mask under his nose.	1.4324	0.06087	111	72	30	9
263	The vet is into reverse psychology.	1.4324	0.06220	111	73	28	10
264	You should see how their Ikea furniture turned out.	1.4324	0.06726	111	77	20	14
265	You must be Jewish	1.4322	0.06423	118	81	23	14
266	Morty you are such a traditionalist.	1.4322	0.06075	118	78	29	11
267	We can still kiss.	1.4312	0.06565	109	74	23	12
268	You just have to run through the doggie door really fast.	1.4310	0.06270	116	78	26	12
269	I got it on Amazon. You just flip it forward if someone comes into the room. I'll text you the link.	1.4309	0.06008	123	82	29	12
270	Careful, it's windy out there today.	1.4298	0.06191	121	82	26	13
271	No, no...on you it looks great.	1.4297	0.05730	128	84	33	11
272	I thought "Cone of Shame" was too negative. This is my "Collar of Confidence."	1.4286	0.06045	112	73	30	9
273	That is NOT how Fauci says to wear it.	1.4286	0.06610	105	71	23	11
274	Do I look thinner this way?	1.4286	0.06177	112	74	28	10
275	Are those noise canceling?	1.4286	0.06045	112	73	30	9
276	My analyst believes in reverse psychology.	1.4286	0.06327	105	69	27	9
277	Until you're vaccinated,you have to wear it that way.	1.4286	0.06882	105	73	19	13
278	They gave you the cone of shame? I got the collar of esteem.	1.4286	0.05794	119	77	33	9
279	It's called thinking outside the cone.	1.4286	0.06379	119	82	23	14
280	I use telemedicine	1.4286	0.06470	105	70	25	10
281	Pretty windy out.	1.4273	0.06255	110	73	27	10
282	I prefer this. It’s not so “Margaret Atwood”.	1.4272	0.06263	103	67	28	8
283	At least they get my food bowl right.	1.4259	0.06337	108	72	26	10
284	I still can't bite my stitches, but I can wear my earbuds again.	1.4259	0.06734	108	75	20	13
285	Reverse engineering.	1.4259	0.06337	108	72	26	10
286	It turns out I'm Jewish. Who knew?	1.4259	0.06605	108	74	22	12
287	I gotta guy who’ll do yours, no questions asked	1.4257	0.06347	101	66	27	8
288	I'm fine...but you should see the lamp!	1.4255	0.05625	141	95	32	14
289	It's an Yves Saint Bernard. Yours?	1.4252	0.05970	127	86	28	13
290	Are you coming or going?	1.4250	0.06111	120	81	27	12
291	I still can’t lick my butt but at least now I can lick yours	1.4248	0.06261	113	76	26	11
292	No, I don't hear an echo.	1.4234	0.06211	111	74	27	10
293	Sometimes innovation is indistinguishable from stupidity.	1.4234	0.06078	111	73	29	9
294	Good luck with the doggie door!	1.4234	0.06341	111	75	25	11
295	Turns out you can teach an old dog new tricks.	1.4231	0.06216	104	68	28	8
296	You don't ride in the car much, do you?	1.4220	0.05575	109	68	36	5
297	I got lucky; my owner is dyslexic.	1.4220	0.06015	109	71	30	8
298	Unlike the neutering, the collar is reversible.	1.4220	0.06291	109	78	18	13
299	He read the instructions and she put it on.	1.4219	0.06036	128	88	26	14
300	The dogs I follow on Instagram are wearing it this way now.	1.4219	0.06036	128	88	26	14
301	No, it’s a lampshade	1.4219	0.05933	128	87	28	13
302	I got it on Etsy.	1.4216	0.06299	102	67	27	8
303	Dyslexic owner	1.4216	0.06600	102	69	23	10
304	It's really improved my hindsight	1.4216	0.06451	102	68	25	9
305	Only seven Republicans voted that this was wrong, too.	1.4216	0.06745	102	70	21	11
306	This way I can still sniff your butt.	1.4215	0.06070	121	82	27	12
307	Right after dinner I go out and flip it around; they have no idea.	1.4215	0.06402	121	85	21	15
308	I’ll lick your balls if you’ll scratch my neck.	1.4215	0.06293	121	84	23	14
309	I was like you once.	1.4202	0.06026	119	80	28	11
310	I just told them "I'm a service dog - I need my peripheral vision" and they bought it!	1.4200	0.06989	100	70	18	12
311	No, I’m fine. I just joined a religious order.	1.4190	0.06459	105	71	24	10
312	Bitches dig it.	1.4190	0.06600	105	72	22	11
313	Sweet model! Is it noise-canceling, too!?	1.4190	0.06019	105	68	30	7
314	Hi. My name's Get-the-FU-K-off-the-Couch. What's yours?	1.4188	0.06564	117	83	19	15
315	The mandate just says I have to wear a cone. It doesn't say HOW I have to wear it.	1.4184	0.06310	98	64	27	7
316	I thought we were going as pilgrims, not handmaids.	1.4184	0.06635	98	66	23	9
317	It's reversible just like Lindsey Graham!	1.4184	0.06635	98	66	23	9
318	There are definite peripheral advantages, but to answer your question, no I still can't reach them.	1.4175	0.06548	103	70	23	10
319	Mine is reversible.	1.4175	0.06548	103	70	23	10
320	And that's why you don't put your head out of the car window.	1.4174	0.05791	115	75	32	8
321	My name is Otto too, but I spell it backwards.	1.4174	0.06049	115	77	28	10
322	Me? ...I was just ordained as an Anglican priest.	1.4167	0.06188	108	72	27	9
323	This is how Major Biden wears his.	1.4167	0.06188	108	72	27	9
324	Let’s pretend you’re from The Handmaid’s Tale and I’m from The Scarlet Letter!”	1.4167	0.06462	108	74	23	11
325	It’s not a great party until someone comes home with a lampshade on his head.	1.4167	0.06224	96	62	28	6
326	'Oh its fine like this , i got the vaccine'	1.4167	0.06724	108	76	19	13
327	Old dog, new trick	1.4167	0.06567	96	64	24	8
328	I'm no longer in recovery... Now I use it as a fashion statement.	1.4160	0.05586	125	82	34	9
329	Listen, just run as fast as you can through the doggie door.	1.4159	0.06499	113	79	21	13
330	Pretty windy out there.	1.4158	0.06335	101	67	26	8
331	I know...right? AND my owner doesn't wear a mask...	1.4158	0.06489	101	68	24	9
332	I know it's backward- but it reduces drag	1.4158	0.06489	101	68	24	9
333	But actually, we're exactly the same length!	1.4158	0.06932	101	71	18	12
334	It's considerably more aerodogmatic.	1.4153	0.05426	118	75	37	6
335	It turns out my master is dyslexic	1.4151	0.06269	106	71	26	9
336	They’re good providers, but they’re not the smartest.	1.4151	0.05666	106	67	34	5
337	Let me guess, your human doesn't know how to wear a mask, right?	1.4151	0.06269	106	71	26	9
338	I'm on parole!	1.4149	0.06311	94	61	27	6
339	Just put your head out of the window	1.4144	0.06331	111	76	24	11
340	I know it’s because you were neutered. For me it’s just a fashion statement”	1.4144	0.06067	111	74	28	9
341	I've caught the mailman everyday since I flipped this puppy around.	1.4141	0.06581	99	67	23	9
342	It’s the iCone 12!	1.4141	0.06260	99	65	27	7
343	It’s the new normal.	1.4141	0.06260	99	65	27	7
344	I can't remember much, but it was one wild party!	1.4138	0.05881	116	77	30	9
345	It works both ways.	1.4138	0.06131	116	79	26	11
346	My human calls me God...he's dyslexic	1.4135	0.06497	104	71	23	10
347	The Cat helped me.	1.4135	0.06051	104	68	29	7
348	You got the French Cuff...nice!	1.4135	0.06203	104	69	27	8
349	I like to think of "veterinarian's orders" to be more like, "suggested guidelines."	1.4135	0.06639	104	72	21	11
350	You are correct. The human I was assigned is a fucking moron.	1.4132	0.06393	121	86	20	15
351	I also like to bark up the wrong tree.	1.4128	0.06414	109	75	23	11
352	To keep you from licking your what...?	1.4124	0.06835	97	67	20	10
353	Mine lets you drink from the toilet!	1.4124	0.06346	97	64	26	7
354	Don't panic, your ass is still there.	1.4124	0.06513	97	65	24	8
355	Yeah? Well you look like a shuttlecock!	1.4124	0.06175	97	63	28	6
356	Oh, I got the Democratic collar. You got the Republican one.	1.4124	0.06835	97	67	20	10
357	I've always been bad with IKEA instructions.	1.4124	0.06676	97	66	22	9
358	I think you’ll find that you, my friend, are the one who looks ridiculous.	1.4124	0.06346	97	64	26	7
359	This is for when I'm riding in the car.	1.4118	0.06438	102	69	24	9
360	If it makes you feel any better, I’m pretty sure I got the placebo.	1.4118	0.06016	119	81	27	11
361	Don’t worry, even the humans don’t wear their protective gear correctly.	1.4118	0.06361	119	84	21	14
362	I don't trust "medical experts".	1.4118	0.06438	102	69	24	9
363	Bite me.	1.4118	0.06733	102	71	20	11
364	New vet?	1.4118	0.06286	102	68	26	8
365	Tell you what . . . you lick mine and I'll lick yours.	1.4118	0.06733	102	71	20	11
366	Yours says, "I lick myself." Mine says, "I like myself."	1.4118	0.06588	102	70	22	10
367	They left the car window open when we were driving home from the vet	1.4118	0.06733	102	71	20	11
368	I know a guy that can turn things around for you.	1.4107	0.06536	112	79	20	13
369	If you'll scratch my ears, I'll scratch your back!	1.4107	0.06536	112	79	20	13
370	You're such a dork, Dad.	1.4105	0.06775	95	65	21	9
371	It’s easier to get through the cat door	1.4105	0.06436	95	63	25	7
372	It’s my homage to RBG.	1.4105	0.06608	95	64	23	8
373	I wear mine religiously.	1.4105	0.06260	95	62	27	6
374	We found the vet on Groupon. Why do you ask?	1.4100	0.06211	100	66	27	7
375	I guess now we know the difference between private and public pet care	1.4100	0.06371	100	67	25	8
376	I ate a lamp So what’s your excuse	1.4098	0.06132	122	85	24	13
377	I can’t chew my butt, but at least I can still drink out of the toilet.	1.4098	0.05907	122	83	28	11
378	Can you hear me now?	1.4095	0.06725	105	74	19	12
379	You know, I woke up one morning, looked in the mirror and said to myself, "Rex, are you wearing the cone, or is the cone wearing you?"	1.4095	0.06157	105	70	27	8
380	Just run through the doggie door at 50 miles an hour. Works every time.	1.4095	0.06304	105	71	25	9
381	Let's pretend you're a nun and I'm a priest.	1.4095	0.06157	105	70	27	8
382	Easy. Just go through a cat door.	1.4094	0.05847	127	87	28	12
383	Either way you can't lick your butt.	1.4091	0.05890	110	75	26	9
384	Wait until you hit the highway—then stick your head out the window.	1.4086	0.06706	93	63	22	8
385	OK, so the second they take their eyes off of you, I'll show you exactly what to do.	1.4082	0.06460	98	66	24	8
386	Just get a vet who’s a dog. Problem solved.	1.4082	0.06460	98	66	24	8
387	Trust me, you don't want to see whats going on down there.	1.4082	0.06460	98	66	24	8
388	This is the first step of turning my life around.	1.4078	0.06535	103	71	22	10
389	Your human probably doesn’t wear his mask right either.	1.4078	0.06237	103	69	26	8
390	I call this look the RBG	1.4077	0.06050	130	92	23	15
391	Yup,new intern at the vets. What's worse is that the thermometer is still in there.	1.4074	0.06583	108	76	20	12
392	S’up bitch?	1.4074	0.06314	108	74	24	10
393	Wow, is that Victorian?	1.4071	0.05981	113	76	28	9
394	We were doing 80 on the highway, and I stuck my head out.	1.4068	0.06046	118	81	26	11
395	Turns out, those ones were designed by cats.	1.4066	0.07326	91	65	15	11
396	It's called "Oppositional Defiant Disorder".	1.4066	0.07157	91	64	17	10
397	This is my own interpretation.	1.4065	0.05637	123	82	32	9
398	Lucky me, I got the intern.	1.4062	0.06030	96	62	29	5
399	Do you think they'll notice we've broken the lamps?	1.4062	0.06718	96	66	21	9
400	I got a religious exemption.	1.4062	0.05915	128	89	26	13
401	My master is collar-blind.	1.4062	0.06879	96	67	19	10
402	With your head out the window at 60 mph, it makes all the difference.	1.4062	0.06552	96	65	23	8
403	I think it’s slimming	1.4062	0.06383	96	64	25	7
404	I’m so over self-harm.	1.4059	0.06163	101	67	27	7
405	It took some barking but in the end, I got my way.	1.4059	0.06163	101	67	27	7
406	You can't reach it with this one on either.	1.4059	0.06627	101	70	21	10
407	'Just stick your head out the car window'	1.4057	0.06537	106	74	21	11
408	Yours is a vet job. Mine is haute couture.	1.4057	0.06398	106	73	23	10
409	You get a better WiFi signal if you wear it this way.	1.4057	0.06110	106	71	27	8
410	Honestly, I find the Jacobean collar much more flattering on Zoom calls.	1.4052	0.05996	116	79	27	10
411	I have a HUGE favor to ask...	1.4043	0.06474	94	63	24	7
412	Oh, I wear mine ironically.	1.4043	0.06295	94	62	26	6
413	The instructions were in Hebrew.	1.4043	0.06984	94	66	18	10
414	No no. First you knock the lamp over, then you walk into it from the base UP!"	1.4043	0.06295	94	62	26	6
415	That was some party, eh?	1.4043	0.06474	94	63	24	7
416	Oh, yeah, it’s much more dynamic!” “Wow, I am flabbergasted. I can’t believe we’ve been wearing them backwards this whole time...	1.4043	0.06818	94	65	20	9
417	Well we can’t both be right.	1.4043	0.05920	94	60	30	4
418	I got mine from the lamp.	1.4040	0.06408	99	67	24	8
419	You look like Handmaid's Tale. I look like Wonder Woman. That's the difference.	1.4040	0.06245	99	66	26	7
420	Uh oh, here she comes! Just kidding.	1.4040	0.06408	99	67	24	8
421	WOW I LOVE YOUR RETRO STYLE!	1.4040	0.06722	99	69	20	10
422	How quaint! You have the old collar design. This is the newest from Paris.	1.4040	0.06408	99	67	24	8
423	next time alert me before you sneeze	1.4040	0.06874	99	70	18	11
424	I stuck my head out the car window like I normally do, next thing I knew, whoosh.	1.4040	0.06567	99	68	22	9
425	I know after the neutering we have less energy, but this way at least I'm more aerodynamic..	1.4038	0.06190	104	70	26	8
426	I slipped the vet $20.	1.4037	0.06130	109	74	26	9
427	My vet used to work at NASA.	1.4037	0.06130	109	74	26	9
428	No. I'm in the ministry.	1.4037	0.05846	109	72	30	7
429	Mine’s bespoke	1.4022	0.05998	92	59	29	4
430	You just have to find wrought-iron fence with the right spacing and take a run at it.	1.4022	0.06384	92	61	25	6
431	My owner is dyslexic.	1.4021	0.06661	97	67	21	9
432	It's easy. Just adjust your privacy setting.	1.4021	0.06821	97	68	19	10
433	I just waited till we got on the thruway, stuck my head out the window, and bang! Snapped right back.	1.4021	0.06159	97	64	27	6
434	You really should get a second opinion.	1.4021	0.06661	97	67	21	9
435	They took my dignity, but they can never have my flair.	1.4021	0.06498	97	66	23	8
436	If my butt smelled like yours I would wear that lamp shade backwards too!	1.4021	0.06821	97	68	19	10
437	So if you can just go ahead and scratch my nose I’ll be more than happy to lick those stitches of yours	1.4021	0.06661	97	67	21	9
438	I’m an influencer	1.4021	0.05982	97	63	29	5
439	Nobody pops their collar anymore, dad!	1.4021	0.06661	97	67	21	9
440	I’m gender mischievous, you?	1.4020	0.06272	102	69	25	8
441	Well you can still kiss mine.	1.4020	0.06720	102	72	19	11
442	I notice I get a better signal this way	1.4020	0.06424	102	70	23	9
443	Either way,we can’t reach it.	1.4019	0.06349	107	74	23	10
444	I decided my diagnosis wouldn’t define me.	1.4019	0.06209	107	73	25	9
445	I just had to promise them I wouldn’t lick my butt in front of company.	1.4000	0.06085	110	75	26	9
446	That's a hell of sneeze you got there buddy.	1.4000	0.06419	95	64	24	7
447	I say we're a perfect fit.	1.4000	0.06290	105	72	24	9
448	My owner never reads instructions.	1.4000	0.06290	105	72	24	9
449	Don't worry, I can lick your balls	1.4000	0.07083	95	68	16	11
450	What do you mean: 'that's like wearing my mask beneath my nose'?	1.4000	0.06477	90	60	24	6
451	My vet graduated from Trump University.	1.4000	0.06923	95	67	18	10
452	Just stick your head out the window and when she hits the onramp, boom! It'll happen.	1.4000	0.06151	115	80	24	11
453	No, I'm not just being different, I just got tired of walking through the dog door backwards.	1.4000	0.06419	95	64	24	7
454	I wear it this way so my owner looks like the idiot.	1.4000	0.06026	115	79	26	10
455	I call it thinking outside the cone.	1.4000	0.06195	100	67	26	7
456	Obviously you're still thinking inside the cone.	1.4000	0.06477	90	60	24	6
457	I can only imagine how your owner wears his mask.	1.4000	0.06356	100	68	24	8
458	All cones matter	1.4000	0.06356	100	68	24	8
459	If you hit their shins enough with it they’ll change it i promise	1.4000	0.06356	100	68	24	8
460	"..so I stuck my head out the car window..	1.3981	0.06374	103	71	23	9
461	I liked The Flying Nun better than TheHandmaid'sTale.	1.3981	0.06521	103	72	21	10
462	My owner is in to alternative medicine.	1.3980	0.06763	98	69	19	10
463	Can I help you scratch somewhere?	1.3980	0.06279	98	66	25	7
464	I got ordained.	1.3980	0.05755	98	68	23	7
465	I take after my human on these things. She wears her mask under her nose.	1.3980	0.06279	98	66	25	7
466	My bark doesn't carry like it used to.	1.3978	0.06512	93	63	23	7
467	It's totally legal in Florida.	1.3978	0.06512	93	63	23	7
468	My pet parent is a moron.	1.3978	0.06142	93	61	27	5
469	I prefer the innie rather than the outie.	1.3978	0.06142	93	61	27	5
470	You need to show them who's boss.	1.3978	0.06512	93	63	23	7
471	Yeah, I know. My owner doesn’t know how to put his own mask on either.	1.3977	0.06769	88	60	21	7
472	You see, I'm the Avant-Garde Dog.	1.3977	0.06959	88	61	19	8
473	Yeah, yeah. I know my guy wears a mask on his chin	1.3977	0.06769	88	60	21	7
474	I thought they asked if I wanted a bone	1.3977	0.07325	88	63	15	10
475	I find it works better this way for Zoom meetings.	1.3964	0.06306	111	78	22	11
476	No, it’s on right. I entered the priesthood.	1.3962	0.06096	106	72	26	8
477	I know I'm not social distancing, but I missed the smells.	1.3962	0.05308	106	67	36	3
478	My veterinarian is Australian.	1.3962	0.05947	106	71	28	7
479	Just trying to make fetch happen	1.3962	0.05475	106	73	26	7
480	No problem, just stick your head out the car window.	1.3960	0.07047	101	74	14	13
481	It's my tribute to RBG.	1.3960	0.06760	101	72	18	11
482	Surgery? This my dog bowl...	1.3960	0.06461	101	70	22	9
483	When they roll down the window, stick your head out.	1.3958	0.06536	96	66	22	8
484	The aerodynamics when I stick my head out the window now are amazing!	1.3958	0.06536	96	66	22	8
485	You don't need to avoid watching the news any longer,Trump's gone.	1.3958	0.06863	96	68	18	10
486	It was fine until we got on the highway.	1.3956	0.06227	91	60	26	5
487	Next time ask for the new guy.	1.3956	0.06420	91	61	24	6
488	I see you're still wearing last season's cone.	1.3956	0.06608	91	62	22	7
489	It’s not on backwards! It’s a lampshade and I’m drunk!	1.3956	0.06608	91	62	22	7
490	I’ve been seeing an alternative veterinarian.	1.3956	0.06608	91	62	22	7
491	Don't go outside, it's windy as hell.	1.3956	0.06967	91	64	18	9
492	Do you believe in destiny?	1.3956	0.06790	91	63	20	8
493	But, I can still reach my nuts!	1.3956	0.07141	91	65	16	10
494	You know, my human wears his mask on his chin	1.3956	0.06608	91	62	22	7
495	Squirrel at the lampshade store	1.3953	0.06674	86	58	22	6
496	Because it makes me look thinner!	1.3950	0.05993	119	83	25	11
497	You should see where he put the thermometer.	1.3945	0.05832	109	73	29	7
498	What I lose in efficacy I've regained in quality of life.	1.3942	0.06021	104	70	27	7
499	Wicked wind!	1.3942	0.06324	104	72	23	9
500	Windy day!	1.3939	0.06551	99	69	21	9
501	I refuse to suffer for fashion	1.3939	0.06061	99	66	27	6
502	Don't you love that it's reversible?	1.3939	0.06392	99	68	23	8
503	Don’t go down 5th Avenue, way too windy	1.3939	0.06392	99	70	20	9
504	It’s that wonderful, head-out-the-window kinda feeling.	1.3939	0.06392	99	68	23	8
505	It's called alternative medicine."	1.3937	0.06037	127	91	22	14
506	I hid the directions.	1.3936	0.06801	94	66	19	9
507	I find this more aerodynamic when chasing squirrels!	1.3936	0.05703	94	60	31	3
508	I'm having the lobster.	1.3936	0.06456	94	64	23	7
509	You look so sad. What can I lick for you?	1.3934	0.05768	122	84	28	10
510	.....and I was walking headlong into this blast of wind.	1.3933	0.06707	89	61	21	7
511	Yes, she does drive a convertible. How did you guess?	1.3933	0.06707	89	61	21	7
512	I just wear mine as a conversation starter.	1.3933	0.06707	89	61	21	7
513	Rottweiler-Glechon-Beagle. But you can call me RGB.	1.3933	0.06514	89	60	23	6
514	I turned it into a bib.	1.3933	0.06895	89	62	19	8
515	Just think of it like a baseball cap. It’s cool if you wear it backwards!	1.3933	0.06110	89	58	27	4
516	I know it's unconventional, but my vet also has a degree in physics.	1.3933	0.06895	89	62	19	8
517	Race you to the park?	1.3933	0.06514	89	60	23	6
518	You will have to speak louder.	1.3926	0.05473	135	93	31	11
519	Lucky for me, my human never reads the instruction manual.	1.3925	0.05902	107	72	28	7
520	I flip mine every 2 hours to get a nice, even tan.	1.3925	0.06607	107	77	18	12
521	...And what pronouns do you use?	1.3925	0.06194	107	74	24	9
522	... so just try it, you'll never look back!	1.3922	0.05937	102	68	28	6
523	They took your manhood, don’t let them take your style too	1.3922	0.06098	102	69	26	7
524	This is nothing. You should see how my owner wears his mask.	1.3918	0.06645	97	68	20	9
525	It’s not what you wear. It’s how you wear it.	1.3918	0.06313	97	66	24	7
526	You say poTAYto, and I say poTAHto.	1.3918	0.06804	97	69	18	10
527	I find that I get better mileage.	1.3918	0.05963	97	64	28	5
528	Does it improve your hearing when you wear it that way?	1.3918	0.06481	97	67	22	8
529	Hey! You're coneservative,huh?	1.3918	0.06141	97	65	26	6
530	You've got to know how to ask.	1.3913	0.06012	115	80	25	10
531	Yours says 'Cone of Shame.' Mine says 'Life of the Party.'	1.3913	0.06729	92	64	20	8
532	It totally cuts down on wind drag.	1.3913	0.06365	92	62	24	6
533	The aerodynamics alone make it a game changer.	1.3913	0.06365	92	62	24	6
534	I’ve been hanging out the car window all day	1.3913	0.06729	92	64	20	8
535	I don't do doggie style.	1.3913	0.06729	92	64	20	8
536	Yeah, I know it's backwards, but my owners also refuse to wear masks.	1.3913	0.06550	92	63	22	7
537	But it’s casual Friday	1.3913	0.05341	115	75	35	5
538	I think I got Moderna.	1.3913	0.06729	92	64	20	8
539	I run really really fast	1.3913	0.06905	92	65	18	9
540	It’s always “sit” and “stay” but never “innovate”	1.3913	0.06550	92	63	22	7
541	It's all behind me now.	1.3913	0.06174	92	61	26	5
542	Apparently I have gas.	1.3909	0.06207	110	77	23	10
543	My owners are into alternative medicine	1.3908	0.06195	87	57	26	4
544	I got tired of all the petting.	1.3908	0.07005	87	61	18	8
545	Don't tell me, it's on backwards isn't it...	1.3908	0.05975	87	56	28	3
546	Yeah, I can see better but I still can't lick my balls.	1.3906	0.05997	128	92	22	14
547	Just stick your head out the car window like you normally would and... voila.	1.3905	0.05975	105	71	27	7
548	You’re missing the point, I didn’t just take it off, I inverted it!	1.3905	0.06127	105	72	25	8
549	It’s more slimming, don’t you think?	1.3905	0.05975	105	71	27	7
550	I don't quite understand myself. I was chasing my tail. I caught it. And now I think I'm inside out.	1.3900	0.06178	100	68	25	7
551	I'm going into the seminary.	1.3900	0.06340	100	69	23	8
552	No, I've not been to the vet, I'm the vicar's dog	1.3895	0.06401	95	65	23	7
553	My vet got really freaked out by The Handmaid's Tale.	1.3895	0.06574	95	66	21	8
554	I attacked the lampshade from below	1.3895	0.06224	95	64	25	6
555	The vet? No, I knocked the lamp over.	1.3895	0.06906	95	68	17	10
556	You want me to lick what?	1.3895	0.06401	95	65	23	7
557	It's after Labor Day.	1.3895	0.06906	95	68	17	10
558	Same concept. More aerodynamic.	1.3895	0.05658	95	61	31	3
559	You should see what they did to Schrödinger's cat.	1.3895	0.06574	95	66	21	8
560	...And I love that it's reversible, don't you?	1.3889	0.06147	108	75	24	9
561	Either way--it scares the hell out of cats!	1.3889	0.06832	90	63	19	8
562	My vet’s dyslectic!	1.3889	0.06647	90	62	21	7
563	Next time you are in the car, stick your head out the window.	1.3889	0.05743	126	88	27	11
564	It doesn’t fog up my glasses this way	1.3889	0.06647	90	62	21	7
565	Let me guess: The Handmaid's Tale?	1.3889	0.06832	90	63	19	8
566	We’re calling it the funnel of pride now. Cone of shame was tested very negatively with our focus groups.	1.3889	0.06286	108	76	22	10
567	I know it’s wrong but my owner is dyslexic	1.3883	0.06358	103	72	22	9
568	Better visibility, but just as hard to lick anything important.	1.3883	0.06051	103	70	26	7
569	My owner smokes a lot of weed.	1.3883	0.06650	103	74	18	11
570	This has really boosted my mileage.	1.3883	0.06358	103	72	22	9
571	This is how the dogs in Paris are wearing them.	1.3883	0.06051	103	70	26	7
572	You know me; the window was down and when he sped up to 60, voila.	1.3883	0.05891	103	69	28	6
573	I’ve joined a different order.	1.3883	0.06358	103	72	22	9
574	Oh, that’s why insurance wouldn’t cover mine.	1.3883	0.05728	103	68	30	5
575	It has to do with 5G.	1.3883	0.06358	103	72	22	9
576	If you walk backwards, they don't even notice.	1.3882	0.06714	85	58	21	6
577	So,you went with satellite dish ...	1.3882	0.06920	85	59	19	7
578	I chased the cat out the doggy door.	1.3879	0.05843	116	80	27	9
579	All the cool canines are doing it, Dad.	1.3878	0.05916	98	65	28	5
580	I do want to support you. I just don't see why we both need to be miserable.	1.3878	0.06427	98	68	22	8
581	Try it. Your car will get 10% better gas mileage.	1.3878	0.06901	98	71	16	11
582	I’ll give you his number. Most accommodating vet you’ll ever meet.	1.3871	0.06492	93	64	22	7
583	Go to Youtube, key in 'canine cone reversal' and click on top tutorial.	1.3871	0.06492	93	64	22	7
584	Well, this is how we wear them in Florida.	1.3871	0.06670	93	65	20	8
585	« It’s an homage to RBG. »	1.3871	0.06492	93	64	22	7
586	Trust me, it's very slimming	1.3871	0.06122	93	62	26	5
587	Next time slip your vet a $20.	1.3871	0.06310	93	63	24	6
588	I call it a Ginsberg collar...	1.3871	0.05727	93	60	30	3
589	My ancestor was on the Mayflower	1.3871	0.06492	93	64	22	7
590	I find it reduces the roaring in your ears	1.3871	0.06492	93	64	22	7
591	This is actually the way the CDC recommends it	1.3871	0.06670	93	65	20	8
592	They put the toilet paper on backwards too.	1.3868	0.05930	106	72	27	7
593	I negotiated.	1.3868	0.06080	106	73	25	8
594	Why do they love dressing us in lampshades?	1.3868	0.06080	106	73	25	8
595	Well, I think Justice Ginsburg would have really liked it.	1.3868	0.05930	106	72	27	7
596	It's the latest thing -- aerodynamically designed and provides better peripheral vision.	1.3866	0.05483	119	80	32	7
597	I heard they wear it this way in Europe!	1.3864	0.06349	88	59	24	5
598	My owner is an anti-masker. What did you expect?	1.3864	0.06939	88	62	18	8
599	Hello, what are your pronouns?	1.3864	0.06349	88	59	24	5
600	Is your owner a Veterinarian? Mine's a Priest.	1.3864	0.06939	88	62	18	8
601	You got what I had.	1.3864	0.06033	88	60	23	5
602	Dude, you won't believe how windy it is outside.	1.3864	0.06748	88	61	20	7
603	Yes,I did get dressed in the dark this morning. Why do you ask?	1.3861	0.06129	101	69	25	7
604	Just got neutered, huh? I'm here 'cause I ate a lamp.	1.3861	0.06596	101	72	19	10
605	All I did was stick my head out the car window.	1.3861	0.06288	101	70	23	8
606	She did fall for "it's backwards day" again.	1.3861	0.06744	101	73	17	11
607	And then he said that I still had two more wishes left.	1.3855	0.07033	83	58	18	7
608	Very conical.	1.3855	0.07239	83	59	16	8
609	I prefer to be seen as an influencer	1.3855	0.07033	83	58	18	7
610	Have you already started watching The Handmaid's Tale?	1.3855	0.07033	83	58	18	7
611	It serves the same purpose but this way I can still bite people.	1.3854	0.06684	96	68	19	9
612	I know, I know. I just don’t have the balls to tell them.	1.3854	0.07159	96	71	13	12
613	Okay, you're a nun and I'm a pilgrim. The safeword is 'milkbones.'	1.3854	0.07004	96	70	15	11
614	Yeah, it’s a complete paradigm shift.	1.3854	0.06684	96	68	19	9
615	It gives me the illusion of speed.	1.3854	0.05992	96	64	27	5
616	Just stick your head out of the window on your next ride.	1.3854	0.06601	96	70	16	10
617	I find it more slimming !	1.3846	0.06587	91	63	21	7
618	Let’s work together You scratch mine I’ll scratch yours	1.3846	0.06004	104	71	26	7
619	And you still wonder why I'm the alpha around here?	1.3846	0.06587	91	63	21	7
620	This is the Puritan style	1.3846	0.06948	91	65	17	9
621	...and that’s how I got through the dog door.	1.3846	0.06006	91	60	27	4
622	I’m going with the Puritan look for spring.	1.3846	0.06158	104	72	24	8
623	How's that working for you with the doggie door?	1.3846	0.06587	91	63	21	7
624	That is so conical..	1.3846	0.06587	91	63	21	7
625	I promised not to lick	1.3839	0.05915	112	80	22	10
626	Actually, mine is just a lamp shade.	1.3838	0.06210	99	68	24	7
627	Try sticking your head out the car window.	1.3838	0.06374	99	69	22	8
628	I told them it looked better this way and they fell for it. Need a lick?	1.3838	0.06689	99	71	18	10
629	My owner calls it the Cone of Embracing Vulnerability.	1.3838	0.06210	99	68	24	7
630	Now they are saying two cones might actually be better.	1.3837	0.06442	86	58	23	5
631	No, I won’t lick it for you.	1.3837	0.06651	86	59	21	6
632	It's still shameful. But it's slimming.	1.3830	0.06436	94	65	22	7
633	You have to think outside the cone.	1.3830	0.06611	94	66	20	8
634	You don't get out much, do you?	1.3830	0.06256	94	64	24	6
635	Can we just agree to disagree?	1.3830	0.06256	94	64	24	6
636	This is the cone of self-actualization.	1.3830	0.06611	94	66	20	8
637	Keep your head inside the car.	1.3830	0.06611	94	66	20	8
638	So...you're an introvert?	1.3830	0.06436	94	65	22	7
639	Yes, that’s very nice, but I prefer the Ruth Bader Ginsburg style.	1.3830	0.06256	94	64	24	6
640	Mine is the RBG model.	1.3828	0.05882	128	92	23	13
641	Yours is for introverts.	1.3827	0.07364	81	58	15	8
642	I got the idea from Ruth Bader Ginsberg.	1.3827	0.06932	81	56	19	6
643	I'm thinking outside of the cone.	1.3827	0.07151	81	57	17	7
644	Thank, God, I can still lick my balls.	1.3826	0.06247	115	83	20	12
645	If you walk into their legs enough they'll flip it for you, too.	1.3824	0.06238	102	73	20	9
646	That was a hell of a party! Sorry you ended up getting neutered.	1.3824	0.06080	102	70	25	7
647	It’s 2021 Tom, live a little.	1.3824	0.05752	102	68	29	5
648	It’s easy. You do the hokey pokey and you turn the cone around.	1.3824	0.06080	102	70	25	7
649	Didn't get the memo huh?	1.3820	0.06492	89	61	22	6
650	Мy owner considers reading instructions beneath his dignity.	1.3820	0.06874	89	63	18	8
651	It's for formal events.	1.3820	0.06686	89	62	20	7
652	Yeah, my guy believes in alternative medicine	1.3820	0.06874	89	63	18	8
653	You’ve just gotta broaden your horizons, bro.	1.3820	0.06492	89	61	22	6
654	So you scratch my back, and I’ll scratch yours?	1.3820	0.06292	89	60	24	5
655	So I gave up being a handmaid and became a nun.....not much difference really	1.3820	0.06292	89	65	16	8
656	Mine's just a fashion tribute to the late, great Justice Ruff Bader Ginsburg.	1.3814	0.06294	97	67	23	7
657	My vet practices alternative medicine.	1.3810	0.07556	84	62	12	10
658	If my owner can wear his mask under his nose, I can do this!	1.3810	0.05802	105	71	28	6
659	Just hold your nose and blow.	1.3810	0.06110	105	73	24	8
660	...I know, mine was government issued.	1.3810	0.06539	84	57	22	5
661	I'll lick your butt, if you'll scratch my nose.	1.3810	0.06110	105	73	24	8
662	It's reversible! Who knew?!	1.3810	0.05802	105	71	28	6
663	It’s after 6.	1.3810	0.06755	84	58	20	6
664	It does wonders for my double chin.	1.3810	0.06755	84	58	20	6
665	I can get through doors like a boss. i just can't back up!	1.3810	0.06316	84	56	24	4
666	I think I figured it out	1.3810	0.06316	84	56	24	4
667	I know, I know... my owner is dyslexic!	1.3804	0.07056	92	67	15	10
668	You say cone of shame. I say collar of awesomeness!	1.3804	0.06152	92	62	25	5
669	Wait till you go for a drive and stick your head out the window.	1.3804	0.06529	92	64	21	7
670	You're right, you look stupid.	1.3800	0.06159	100	69	24	7
671	Does this make my neck look longer?	1.3800	0.06321	100	70	22	8
672	I don't know what you're weaing, but mine's a lamp shade.	1.3800	0.06159	100	69	24	7
673	Fauci says this way is better.	1.3800	0.06633	100	72	18	10
674	Yeah...they're dyslexic.	1.3800	0.06159	100	69	24	7
675	It's cut five minutes off my commute.	1.3800	0.06159	100	69	24	7
676	No, I can’t lick mine either.	1.3800	0.06159	100	69	24	7
677	So who's gonna sniff what?	1.3797	0.06814	79	54	20	5
678	Yours, Elizabethan. Mine, Dutch renaissance.	1.3797	0.06814	79	54	20	5
679	Zoom vet appointments rock.	1.3796	0.06131	108	76	23	9
680	I just can’t breathe as well when I wear it the right way!	1.3796	0.05537	108	77	23	8
681	You need to think outside the cone.	1.3796	0.06131	108	76	23	9
682	Told you my owner’s an idiot.	1.3796	0.06541	108	79	17	12
683	Haven't I taught you anything about being cool?	1.3793	0.06983	87	62	17	8
684	Docking sequence initiated.	1.3793	0.06383	87	59	23	5
685	And then it got REALLY windy.	1.3793	0.06983	87	62	17	8
686	He never reads the instructions	1.3793	0.05955	116	82	24	10
687	It comes off completely once I get the second vaccine shot.	1.3793	0.06983	87	62	17	8
688	Inversion therapy. I feel so liberated. You should try it.	1.3793	0.06983	87	62	17	8
689	I'm entering the convent so I can't see you anymore.	1.3793	0.06383	87	59	23	5
690	...I live in Brooklyn now	1.3793	0.06589	87	60	21	6
691	Yeah, I saw it on TikTok	1.3793	0.07535	87	65	11	11
692	'I was just tired of the echo, mate!"	1.3793	0.06589	87	60	21	6
693	Insurance covered the materials, but not the labor.	1.3793	0.06383	87	59	23	5
694	OK, watch again. I'll do it slowly.	1.3789	0.06203	95	65	24	6
695	Who's to say everyone else isn't wearing it wrong.	1.3789	0.06203	95	65	24	6
696	It's easy! Just stick your head out the window.	1.3789	0.06554	95	67	20	8
697	Just freshening up my Zoom look a little.	1.3789	0.06381	95	66	22	7
698	I'm a lucky dog. My vet is dyslexic!	1.3789	0.06723	95	68	18	9
699	My veterinarian believes in reverse psychology.	1.3786	0.06634	103	75	17	11
700	Now can you hear me?	1.3786	0.05539	103	68	31	4
701	Don't look up when it rains.	1.3786	0.06340	103	73	21	9
702	No wonder you're getting better reception	1.3786	0.06033	103	71	25	7
703	Monday vs. Friday	1.3780	0.06640	82	56	21	5
704	They say to save the K9-95s for emotional support dogs.	1.3780	0.06863	82	57	19	6
705	Next time you're on the freeway just stick your head out the window.	1.3778	0.07168	90	66	14	10
706	Yeah, I upgraded from the Cone of Shame to the Cone of Triumph.	1.3778	0.06811	90	64	18	8
707	I was going more for an RBG look.	1.3778	0.06237	90	61	24	5
708	What are you looking at? You've never seen an innie before?	1.3778	0.06434	90	62	22	6
709	It was the vet tech's first day on the job. I didn't have the heart.	1.3778	0.06434	90	62	22	6
710	You can flip that thing around after your second vaccination.	1.3778	0.06033	90	60	26	4
711	Yes, it is windy outside. How'd you know?	1.3778	0.06237	90	61	24	5
712	Don' t look up in a rain storm.	1.3778	0.05823	90	61	25	4
713	I thought with Spring coming around I'd opt for the convertible model	1.3778	0.06530	90	65	17	8
714	I joined the ministry.	1.3778	0.06625	90	63	20	7
715	I'm fine, it's just a lampshade from the kennel office party.	1.3776	0.06728	98	71	17	10
716	That was some windstorm!	1.3776	0.06570	98	70	19	9
717	My owners are anti-maskers.	1.3776	0.06728	98	71	17	10
718	They give me a nice warm home and they feed me but they really are stupid.	1.3774	0.05912	106	73	26	7
719	I suppose I could lick them for you just this once.	1.3774	0.06062	106	74	24	8
720	One hellava New Year's party, eh?	1.3772	0.05487	114	77	31	6
721	I had a say in the matter	1.3765	0.06477	85	58	22	5
722	Is this a great synchronicity or what? We were meant to meet.	1.3765	0.06029	85	56	26	3
723	Mine also came in red but I couldn't tell the difference.	1.3765	0.06896	85	60	18	7
724	'Well, at least I don't collect rainwater.'	1.3765	0.06477	85	58	22	5
725	I stood in front of a fan for two hours	1.3765	0.07096	85	61	16	8
726	I wanted something that would bring out my eyes.	1.3765	0.06029	85	56	26	3
727	Everything changed when I realized you can roll down the window yourself!	1.3765	0.07291	85	62	14	9
728	Actually, it makes me faster.	1.3765	0.06690	85	59	20	6
729	Despite appearances, I'm listening.	1.3763	0.06099	93	63	25	5
730	If you saw the way my human wears his hat you would understand.	1.3763	0.06649	93	66	19	8
731	So I take it you haven't gotten your vaccine yet.	1.3763	0.06649	93	66	19	8
732	You look ridiculous, I told you not to go to a walk-in clinic.	1.3763	0.06471	93	65	21	7
733	It's completely changed my perspective.	1.3763	0.06649	93	66	19	8
734	Aerodynamically superior at the car window.	1.3763	0.06471	93	65	21	7
735	It's Prada	1.3762	0.05946	101	69	26	6
736	You were playing with a lamp too?	1.3762	0.06872	101	75	14	12
737	And it really cuts down on wind resistance.	1.3762	0.05603	101	67	30	4
738	I didn't have surgery. I just think I look cool!	1.3761	0.06222	109	78	21	10
739	Haven't heard this well in years.	1.3750	0.06497	96	68	20	8
740	I get walked on the road less traveled.	1.3750	0.06497	96	68	20	8
741	My owner doesn't wear his mask over his nose either!	1.3750	0.07199	80	57	16	7
742	You can't believe how windy it was!	1.3750	0.06725	88	62	19	7
743	No - just Google it - the instructions are online.	1.3750	0.06139	104	73	23	8
744	I just asked.	1.3750	0.07199	80	57	16	7
745	We're Quakers.	1.3750	0.05498	104	69	31	4
746	Yes, of course, it cost extra.	1.3750	0.06917	88	63	17	8
747	My people haven't noticed yet. Want me to lick that for you?	1.3750	0.06917	88	63	17	8
748	Gesundheit, and thank you.	1.3750	0.07292	96	73	10	13
749	I’m a pilgrim. Let me guess: you’re a lampshade?	1.3750	0.06826	96	70	16	10
750	My vet's into alternative medicine	1.3750	0.06528	88	61	21	6
751	This way's better on a windy day.	1.3750	0.06151	96	66	24	6
752	My human drinks.	1.3750	0.06506	80	54	22	4
753	I am Beldar, I come from France	1.3750	0.06000	80	52	26	2
754	I'm not injured, just starved for attention.	1.3750	0.06917	88	63	17	8
755	It was slowing me down”	1.3750	0.06290	104	74	21	9
756	See what slipping the vet a $20 gets ya?	1.3737	0.06190	99	69	23	7
757	Your vet is an idiot.	1.3737	0.06354	99	70	21	8
758	I still can't get to mine, but I'd be happy to take care of yours!	1.3737	0.06354	99	70	21	8
759	Actually, it's a ruff.	1.3737	0.06021	99	68	25	6
760	Well, MY family came over on the Mayflower!	1.3737	0.06354	99	70	21	8
761	I am starting a revolution.	1.3737	0.06021	99	68	25	6
762	Admit it, we’re cut out for each other!	1.3737	0.06021	99	68	25	6
763	Your human doesn't wear a mask properly, does he?	1.3736	0.06376	91	63	22	6
764	The key is to find a good headwind.	1.3736	0.06748	91	65	18	8
765	Well, I’m an Australian Shepherd so our cones go the other way.	1.3736	0.06748	91	65	18	8
766	You'll see. Just open that car window ... You only make that mistake once!	1.3736	0.06376	91	63	22	6
767	The wind was just awful out there today.	1.3736	0.06376	91	63	22	6
768	I can't scratch my ears, but at least I can lick myself.	1.3736	0.06565	91	64	20	7
769	I'm telling you, ever since I made the switch I've been reading more, eating healthy, working on my self affirmations, keeping in touch with my parents – I was hesitant too at first, but you really gotta try this one out.	1.3736	0.06565	91	64	20	7
770	Dude, it's about aerodynamics.	1.3735	0.06112	83	55	25	3
771	I don’t know... It depends on how you handle it.	1.3735	0.06112	83	55	25	3
772	It's backwards day at my kennel.	1.3735	0.06795	83	58	19	6
773	I mean it is more aerodynamic, but I still can’t sniff my butt	1.3735	0.07415	83	61	13	9
774	I sprained my neck in the Iditarod, you?	1.3727	0.06038	110	78	23	9
775	It all comes down to function verses fashion.	1.3727	0.05899	110	77	25	8
776	„Well, I was strolling around the internet yesterday and came across this very interesting article on Feng Shui.“	1.3727	0.06309	110	80	19	11
777	I tried that- I kept getting blown into the back seat.	1.3725	0.06061	102	71	24	7
778	Stick your head out the window as far as you can.	1.3725	0.06671	102	75	16	11
779	Going 60 with my head out the window, that's how.	1.3725	0.06373	102	73	20	9
780	Hey, yours is an outie!	1.3725	0.06219	102	72	22	8
781	Look on the bright side. At least you can still drag your butt across the carpet.	1.3725	0.06219	102	72	22	8
782	Wow! You are a cone half empty kind of person, aren't you?	1.3725	0.06061	102	71	24	7
783	Nah, I just poked my head into a lamp.	1.3723	0.06590	94	67	19	8
784	I heard on Fox News this is better than the vaccine	1.3723	0.06590	94	67	19	8
785	We'll don't you look stupid.	1.3723	0.06590	94	67	19	8
786	I got it at IKEA and put it together myself. Why?	1.3723	0.06414	94	66	21	7
787	I've been studying aerodynamics.	1.3723	0.06047	94	64	25	5
788	All you have to do is find a really small doggie door.	1.3723	0.06414	94	66	21	7
789	He also puts food in the water bowl	1.3723	0.06590	94	67	19	8
790	My owner wears his mask under his nose	1.3721	0.06829	86	61	18	7
791	No, you look great! Off-the-shoulder really suits you.	1.3721	0.06626	86	60	20	6
792	- This is how they are styling it these days.	1.3721	0.06416	86	59	22	5
793	It's the equivalent of a human wearing a mask under their nose.	1.3721	0.07219	86	63	14	9
794	You're Elizabethan, I'm Puritan.	1.3721	0.06416	86	59	22	5
795	I don’t mind it, I actually find it quite slimming.	1.3721	0.06829	86	61	18	7
796	...they told me it’s called a lobotomy - what did you get done?!	1.3721	0.06416	86	59	22	5
797	As Quakers we try to avoid doggerl.	1.3718	0.07093	78	55	17	6
798	I have a job interview	1.3717	0.05922	113	80	24	9
799	The homework I ate was about dyslexia.	1.3714	0.06527	105	77	17	11
800	Have you heard my vet’s been sued for malpractice?	1.3714	0.06091	105	74	23	8
801	Oh nothing like that, I just broke a lamp.	1.3711	0.05920	97	66	26	5
802	Does my bum look big in this?	1.3711	0.06099	97	67	24	6
803	You didn't know they're reversible?	1.3711	0.06099	97	67	24	6
804	Mine’s a Tesla	1.3711	0.06442	97	69	20	8
805	I really feel like I've turned things around.	1.3711	0.05920	97	66	26	5
806	this will improve your mileage immensely	1.3711	0.05920	97	66	26	5
807	I didn't go to the vet, I went to the nunnery.	1.3711	0.06273	97	68	22	7
808	I just wish I'd stuck my head out the window sooner.	1.3711	0.06606	97	70	18	9
809	Wearing it that way is sooo last season	1.3711	0.06099	97	67	24	6
810	Come on Boomer, you’ve got to think out of the cone!	1.3710	0.05117	124	91	23	10
811	My vet did undergrad at the New School.	1.3708	0.06468	89	62	21	6
812	It's more slimming if you wear it this way.	1.3708	0.06060	89	60	25	4
813	My master works in fashion.	1.3708	0.06851	89	64	17	8
814	It all depends on your interpretation of the Handmaids Tail.	1.3708	0.06662	89	63	19	7
815	My owner is an aeronautical engineer.	1.3708	0.06468	89	62	21	6
816	You will never make it out the doggie door.	1.3708	0.06468	89	62	21	6
817	I didn’t know it was reversible!	1.3707	0.05548	116	80	29	7
818	What do you mean I’m wearing it wrong? You can’t even lick your junk with it on like that.	1.3707	0.06425	116	87	15	14
819	It really doesn't matter, I can't reach mine either.	1.3704	0.07545	81	60	12	9
820	I hate fashion week!	1.3704	0.07124	81	58	16	7
821	I'm a Pilgrim now.	1.3704	0.07124	81	58	16	7
822	Cup or cone?	1.3704	0.07338	81	59	14	8
823	Don't ask, don't get.	1.3704	0.06197	81	56	21	4
824	Yes,you do hear better. But I think I look slimmer.	1.3704	0.06442	81	55	22	4
825	What channels do you get?	1.3704	0.07124	81	58	16	7
826	How do you know I bought mine at IKEA?	1.3704	0.05596	108	76	25	7
827	Let’s agree to disagree	1.3704	0.06904	81	57	18	6
828	RBG is my spirit animal.	1.3704	0.06904	81	57	18	6
829	You see Mark, what limits us is the same. It's how we face those limitations that defines us.	1.3704	0.06321	81	57	19	5
830	Comfort is more important than efficacy.	1.3704	0.06197	81	54	24	3
831	I prefer the Edwardian to the Elizabethan.	1.3704	0.06904	81	57	18	6
832	Newest CDC guidelines	1.3701	0.05679	127	91	25	11
833	I'm not kidding. Run as fast as you can and this thing flips back!	1.3700	0.06139	100	70	23	7
834	That's ok, you should see how he puts the sweater on the cat.	1.3700	0.06614	100	73	17	10
835	It's easier to discern the context of events unfolding around me.	1.3696	0.05929	92	62	26	4
836	Welcome to Australia.	1.3696	0.07035	92	68	14	10
837	I just got off the Mayflower. Which ship are you from?	1.3696	0.06506	92	65	20	7
838	The aerodynamics are a lot better when you're chasing parked cars.	1.3696	0.06128	92	63	24	5
839	Open window on the freeway, that's how!	1.3696	0.06320	92	64	22	6
840	It's not funny, my vet has dyslexia!	1.3696	0.06128	92	63	24	5
841	Yeah, my vet was a huge RBG fan.	1.3696	0.06506	92	65	20	7
842	I want to put the last four years in the rearview mirror!	1.3696	0.06687	92	66	18	8
843	Go in peace my pup ... your prayers will be answered.	1.3696	0.07035	92	68	14	10
844	Nice collar” - “Nice hat	1.3696	0.06863	92	67	16	9
845	some days you wear the cone, other days the cone wears you.	1.3696	0.07035	92	68	14	10
846	I have a doctor’s note.	1.3696	0.06687	92	66	18	8
847	It’s more aerodynamic for faster recovery!	1.3696	0.06687	92	66	18	8
848	I’m tired of being a good boy.	1.3694	0.05568	111	76	29	6
849	I asked for the cone of self confidence!	1.3690	0.06287	84	57	23	4
850	I once thought the way you do.	1.3690	0.06511	84	58	21	5
851	My tail was chasing me.	1.3690	0.06287	84	57	23	4
852	You think I look stupid? Go check your reflection in the toilet bowl!	1.3690	0.06511	84	58	21	5
853	I know, right?	1.3690	0.06728	84	59	19	6
854	And I look ridiculous?	1.3690	0.06055	84	56	25	3
855	Dude, you can't trust everything you read on the Internet.	1.3690	0.06287	84	57	23	4
856	I’m getting much better gas mileage now.	1.3690	0.06938	84	60	17	7
857	So if I pull your tail does your mouth light up?	1.3690	0.07142	84	61	15	8
858	I made a promise I’d leave them alone as long as I could still see them	1.3690	0.07142	84	61	15	8
859	It was windy riding in the back of the convertible.	1.3689	0.06321	103	74	20	9
860	Have you tried putting it into sport mode?	1.3689	0.06321	103	74	20	9
861	You’re projecting again.	1.3684	0.05879	114	81	24	9
862	You must have different insurance	1.3684	0.07216	76	54	16	6
863	Trust me, when it snows, you'll be happy you did.	1.3684	0.06180	95	66	23	6
864	They want me to stop going through the dog door butt first.	1.3684	0.06532	95	68	19	8
865	I tell you the world looks bigger this way.	1.3684	0.06180	95	66	23	6
866	if you push your head into the toilet real hard it flips over!	1.3684	0.07185	95	72	11	12
867	So, I’ve been thinking outside the cone.	1.3684	0.06180	95	66	23	6
868	Just my luck I was rescued from the pound by a Pilgrim.	1.3679	0.05738	106	73	27	6
869	I'll lick yours if you scratch mine	1.3678	0.06143	87	59	24	4
870	My bark is not as loud, but I can run way faster.	1.3678	0.06356	87	60	22	5
871	We both look stupid!	1.3678	0.06356	87	60	22	5
872	You’ll never get in looking like that.	1.3678	0.06764	87	62	18	7
873	Oh, it's not medical. ...just a dog collar designed by Elon Musk.	1.3678	0.06563	87	61	20	6
874	You want to get noticed these days, you gotta think outside the cone.	1.3678	0.06563	87	61	20	6
875	I hired a lawyer.	1.3673	0.06549	98	71	18	9
876	Yes, my veterinarian is Dutch . . . why do you ask?	1.3673	0.06048	98	68	24	6
877	Laugh all you want, but I just logged a personal best chasing that car down the block.	1.3673	0.06387	98	70	20	8
878	Rough ruff, Ralph.	1.3673	0.06048	98	68	24	6
879	I'll take form over function anytime.	1.3673	0.06549	98	71	18	9
880	You’re wearing it wrong. Dr. Fauci said so.	1.3673	0.06220	98	69	22	7
881	It was reversal surgery.	1.3671	0.06540	79	54	21	4
882	I have a forward thinking veterinarian"	1.3671	0.06287	79	53	23	3
883	This comes in handy when I'm having lobster.	1.3671	0.06287	79	53	23	3
884	I don't care if you do get better reception. This is way more comfortable.	1.3671	0.06783	79	55	19	5
885	It's not as if he wears his own mask properly either.	1.3671	0.07019	79	56	17	6
886	Much more comfortable this way. When I hear them come in, I switch it back.	1.3671	0.06540	79	54	21	4
887	I find it works just as well, without the shame.	1.3671	0.06540	79	54	21	4
888	Mine is Prada.	1.3671	0.06287	79	56	19	4
889	No offence, but you look ridiculous.	1.3671	0.06783	79	55	19	5
890	No, by law she has to offer you a reasonable accommodation.	1.3667	0.06211	90	62	23	5
891	I got stuck in a lampshade. What happened to you?	1.3667	0.06409	90	63	21	6
892	I convinced her that this retro look was more fashionable.	1.3667	0.06211	90	62	23	5
893	You gotta think outside the cone.	1.3667	0.06787	90	65	17	8
894	I don't know whether I'm coming or going, either.	1.3667	0.06601	90	64	19	7
895	Alcohol was involved....	1.3667	0.06409	90	63	21	6
896	Handmaid’s Tale, huh? I’m The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel.	1.3667	0.07146	90	67	13	10
897	You can fit through the hole in the fence too if you run fast enough	1.3667	0.06007	90	61	25	4
898	No, I'm not injured. I just got in a row with a lampshade.	1.3667	0.05790	120	86	24	10
899	My vet's dyslexic -who knew?	1.3663	0.06249	101	72	21	8
900	I go to a discount vet. Why do you ask?	1.3663	0.05924	101	70	25	6
901	It's a bit less Elizabethan, and I can still chew my feet.	1.3663	0.05924	101	70	25	6
902	Can I lick anything for you?	1.3663	0.06708	101	75	15	11
903	I was like that once, but I managed to turn things around.	1.3663	0.06249	101	72	21	8
904	You only wear it like that after Labor Day	1.3663	0.05924	101	70	25	6
905	Are you high?	1.3663	0.06406	101	73	19	9
906	Of course you look good in the mirror; that's what they want you to think.	1.3659	0.06834	82	58	18	6
907	The doggie door won.	1.3659	0.06610	82	57	20	5
908	My owner wears his face mask below his nose, so I told him it was only fair.	1.3659	0.07262	82	60	14	8
909	there are good dogs on both sides	1.3659	0.06379	82	56	22	4
910	All the millennials are wearing it this way.	1.3656	0.06264	93	65	22	6
911	Just take a walk against a high wind.	1.3656	0.06074	93	64	24	5
912	You’re such a traditionalist, Bob. I prefer the RBG cone styling	1.3656	0.06627	93	67	18	8
913	Am I the converse to your inverse?	1.3656	0.06264	93	65	22	6
914	First he wears his baseball cap backwards. And now this...	1.3656	0.06448	93	66	20	7
915	You do it by running real fast through the cat door!	1.3656	0.06264	93	65	22	6
916	Look on the bright side- you're not troubled by hindsight!	1.3656	0.07136	93	70	12	11
917	Just put your head out of the car window. Problem solved.	1.3656	0.06074	93	64	24	5
918	It’s a “ruff,” get it?	1.3656	0.05677	93	62	28	3
919	You think this is bad? Just wait until the reverse vasectomy.	1.3656	0.05467	93	66	22	5
920	I prefer not to see what they did.	1.3654	0.06561	104	77	16	11
921	I think it's so they can tell us apart.	1.3654	0.06120	104	74	22	8
922	This is the cone of no shame.	1.3654	0.06120	104	74	22	8
923	You can either be an ice cream cone or a rocket.	1.3654	0.05965	104	73	24	7
924	Windy isn’t it?	1.3654	0.06120	104	74	22	8
925	I say this as a friend. You look ridiculous.	1.3649	0.06823	74	51	19	4
926	Is this a reflection of our current political situation?	1.3649	0.06546	74	50	21	3
927	it's for speed	1.3649	0.06257	74	49	23	2
928	What? I'm Jewish.	1.3647	0.06870	85	61	17	7
929	Neutered? No, I knocked over a lamp.	1.3647	0.06870	85	61	17	7
930	I'm a messy eater.	1.3647	0.06449	85	59	21	5
931	Really, Sam? Popped collar? That’s so last year.	1.3647	0.06228	85	58	23	4
932	Think outside the cone, dude.	1.3647	0.06449	85	59	21	5
933	I know, I know, but my human is dyslexic and I haven't the heart to correct him.	1.3647	0.07070	85	62	15	8
934	My human drives a convertible.	1.3646	0.06642	96	70	17	9
935	I prefer to wear it as a shrug.	1.3646	0.06127	96	67	23	6
936	My vet is an idiot.	1.3646	0.06806	96	71	15	10
937	I'm required to wear it,but they didn't say how.	1.3646	0.06806	96	71	15	10
938	She's a little dyslexic...	1.3646	0.05946	96	66	25	5
939	Because I can	1.3646	0.05758	96	65	27	4
940	You ran into a lamp too?	1.3646	0.06304	96	68	21	7
941	It's a lampshade. I just wanted to give you some moral support.	1.3646	0.06475	96	69	19	8
942	Where does it itch?	1.3646	0.05758	96	65	27	4
943	I have something I want to get off my chest.	1.3636	0.06700	88	63	18	7
944	We should make movies and call ourselves the Cone Brothers."	1.3636	0.06494	99	72	18	9
945	It makes me more aerodynamic. I caught a mail truck last week.	1.3636	0.06168	99	70	22	7
946	I see you're going for the Elizabethan look. I prefer the Puritan look myself.	1.3636	0.06168	99	70	22	7
947	I’m in a study—I think I may be part of the placebo group...	1.3636	0.06168	99	70	22	7
948	He can't tie a Windsor either	1.3636	0.07374	77	56	14	7
949	Potato, Potahto, let's pull the damn things off!	1.3636	0.06892	88	64	16	8
950	At least your vet knows what he's doing	1.3636	0.05644	99	67	28	4
951	Wow, that was a heck of a sneeze!	1.3636	0.06892	88	64	16	8
952	Get with the times, boomer, collar up is so 80's!	1.3636	0.06700	88	63	18	7
953	We've given up on western medicine.	1.3636	0.06168	99	70	22	7
954	Same difference, except I look better.	1.3636	0.06642	77	53	20	4
955	Sometimes it pays to have a priest for an owner	1.3636	0.06892	88	64	16	8
956	I call this look 'throwing some shade'	1.3636	0.06892	88	64	16	8
957	F**k the system"	1.3636	0.06895	77	54	18	5
958	I don’t think it’s down there anymore any ways	1.3627	0.06504	102	75	17	10
959	It's the new model. 40% less pathetic.	1.3627	0.06353	102	74	19	9
960	You just have to run VERY fast."	1.3626	0.06540	91	65	19	7
961	Yes, my master is a man of the cloth. How did you guess?	1.3626	0.06156	91	63	23	5
962	Surgery? I stuck my head through the food bowl.	1.3626	0.06351	91	64	21	6
963	At least we can kiss!	1.3626	0.05954	91	62	25	4
964	My owners are liberals.	1.3626	0.06540	91	65	19	7
965	Seriously, it makes way more sense this way.	1.3626	0.05954	91	62	25	4
966	I find I get much better reception.	1.3626	0.06351	91	64	21	6
967	Is that a turtle neck?	1.3626	0.06540	91	65	19	7
968	Of course I might have it backwards. But the luscious T-bone I just gobbled up says 'NOT'	1.3626	0.06540	91	65	19	7
969	Next car ride, we'll see who has the superior drag coefficient.	1.3626	0.06156	91	63	23	5
970	I’m much faster since the upgrade !	1.3626	0.05954	91	62	25	4
971	Yeah, my humans aren't really clear on the concept, but at least I'm much more aerodynamic this way.	1.3626	0.05745	91	61	27	3
972	Does this make me look slimmer?	1.3626	0.05303	91	59	31	1
973	I miss RBG. We were the same size.	1.3625	0.06595	80	58	16	6
974	My lawyer is making me wear this for my whiplash case.	1.3625	0.06225	80	54	23	3
975	It’s called the Eton Collar. I’m too dignified to bother my nethers.	1.3625	0.07170	80	58	15	7
976	A cat showed me.	1.3625	0.06474	80	55	21	4
977	Got adopted by an elderly nun.	1.3625	0.06714	80	56	19	5
978	That's just like you, Ronan. Wearing it the right way, like a really good boy.	1.3625	0.06945	80	57	17	6
979	Yes, your tail is still there.	1.3625	0.06945	80	57	17	6
980	I was curious.	1.3625	0.06474	80	55	21	4
981	Introvert vs. Extrovert A perfect match	1.3625	0.06714	80	56	19	5
982	It's Ruff Lauren.	1.3625	0.06945	80	57	17	6
983	I find the science inconclusive.	1.3625	0.06225	80	54	23	3
984	. Be honest-- does this make my butt look big?	1.3625	0.06474	80	55	21	4
985	Oh no, mine’s a religious thing.	1.3625	0.05965	80	53	25	2
986	this way, I can still bite the mailman	1.3617	0.06022	94	65	24	5
987	Does this make me look fat?	1.3617	0.06567	94	68	18	8
988	No, I'm fine, and I'm going to be a full-fledged nun next Wednesday	1.3617	0.06209	94	66	22	6
989	If we work together we can lick this.	1.3617	0.06391	94	67	20	7
990	If you turn it around you can still lick your balls.	1.3617	0.06022	94	65	24	5
991	It's called aerodynamics and it makes frisbees catchable	1.3617	0.05629	94	68	20	6
992	It’s the new model. It makes sniffing butts a lot easier.	1.3617	0.06391	94	67	20	7
993	Think outside the cone.	1.3614	0.06545	83	58	20	5
994	Because I just got my second shot	1.3614	0.06766	83	59	18	6
995	What if you’re right and they’re wrong?	1.3614	0.06766	83	59	18	6
996	I like how I wear mine better	1.3614	0.06545	83	58	20	5
997	My therapist says I’m an extrovert.	1.3611	0.05950	108	77	23	8
998	I feel much less pretentious.	1.3611	0.06939	72	50	18	4
999	Because my people have Puritan ancestors.	1.3608	0.06250	97	69	21	7
1000	I turned my cone from shame to fame!	1.3608	0.06903	97	73	13	11
1001	My vet doesn’t think shaming me is the answer.	1.3608	0.06250	97	69	21	7
1002	Actually,I'm a priest.	1.3608	0.06584	97	71	17	9
1003	Yes, I turned it around when I left Qanon	1.3608	0.06584	97	71	17	9
1004	Yes, I used the doggy door. Why do you ask?	1.3608	0.06903	97	73	13	11
1005	My owner embraces alternative facts.	1.3605	0.06388	86	60	21	5
1006	A word of advice, do not stick your head out of a car window on the highway	1.3605	0.07001	86	63	15	8
1007	"One of our owners is really dumb."	1.3605	0.06802	86	62	17	7
1008	I know it’s on backwards but I still don’t have the balls to see if it works or not .	1.3605	0.06598	86	61	19	6
1009	I'm an anarchist	1.3605	0.06170	86	59	23	4
1010	I find it's more slimming this way.	1.3605	0.06598	86	61	19	6
1011	Easy, I stuck my head out the car window !	1.3605	0.07381	86	65	11	10
1012	I know, right? Wanna come watch her put an Ikea together?	1.3605	0.06598	86	61	19	6
1013	Oh, it’s easy. You just have to get a really good run at the dog door.	1.3605	0.06598	86	61	19	6
1014	It's handmade, and there's a tale behind it.	1.3605	0.06388	86	60	21	5
1015	Yours is Protestant; mine is Catholic.	1.3605	0.06598	86	61	19	6
1016	Don't worry. Things will turn around eventually.	1.3605	0.06598	86	61	19	6
1017	I shaved 3 seconds off my lap time just by flipping this thing around.	1.3605	0.07001	86	63	15	8
1018	Yer, of course they are reversible	1.3600	0.05777	100	69	26	5
1019	This is how The Lamp wears his...makes more sense, I think...	1.3600	0.05949	100	70	24	6
1020	Sure but bellbottoms are back in style too.	1.3600	0.05949	100	70	24	6
1021	If you had been wearing it my way that vet wouldn't have snuck up on you.	1.3600	0.06439	100	73	18	9
1022	What?	1.3596	0.06826	89	65	16	8
1023	Then the squirrel jumped through a hole in the fence.	1.3596	0.06240	89	62	22	5
1024	Laugh if you will, but I can outrun you now	1.3596	0.06441	89	63	20	6
1025	Yeah, I assumed you were introverted	1.3596	0.06636	89	64	18	7
1026	It totally eliminates the echo.	1.3596	0.06636	89	64	18	7
1027	It's Casual Friday.	1.3596	0.06032	89	61	24	4
1028	You got yours at the vet!? I got mine at the lamp store.	1.3596	0.06826	89	65	16	8
1029	And it also deflects flatulence.	1.3596	0.06636	89	64	18	7
1030	I'm hoping this will get me on the cover of Dogue!	1.3596	0.07191	89	67	12	10
1031	I'm going to be a clergy dog	1.3592	0.05664	103	71	27	5
1032	My aerodynamics have vastly increased.	1.3592	0.06148	103	74	21	8
1033	Your father must've been a flashlight; Mine was a lampshade.	1.3592	0.05830	103	72	25	6
1034	Just stick your head out the window next time you're out for a drive.	1.3592	0.06301	103	75	19	9
1035	Quite a party last night, huh?	1.3590	0.07061	78	56	16	6
1036	I'm keeping it this way until my human wears a mask.	1.3590	0.06181	78	55	19	4
1037	I hear that we're supposed to wear them over our nose.	1.3590	0.06315	78	53	22	3
1038	I'm studying for the priesthood.	1.3590	0.06822	78	55	18	5
1039	Yeah, I slipped the vet $50, and I can reach everywhere.	1.3587	0.06481	92	66	19	7
1040	I dressed myself this morning.	1.3587	0.05696	92	62	27	3
1041	That's what they would like you to believe.	1.3587	0.07012	92	69	13	10
1042	I appreciate the aerodynamics, but I do envy your amplified bark.	1.3587	0.06101	92	64	23	5
1043	Your cone is so old hat.	1.3585	0.06023	106	76	22	8
1044	My owner had one job!	1.3580	0.07095	81	59	15	7
1045	You're right. I've always been the more outgoing one.	1.3580	0.06874	81	58	17	6
1046	Elizabethan collars are so last year. I've updated to a Pilgrim collar.	1.3580	0.06645	81	57	19	5
1047	There's less shame this way.	1.3580	0.06409	81	56	21	4
1048	Try running very very fast.	1.3580	0.06874	81	58	17	6
1049	Hey, you can still smell butts.	1.3580	0.06645	81	57	19	5
1050	I swear, I’ll never put on a lamp shade at a party again	1.3580	0.07095	81	59	15	7
1051	I prefer Puritan over Elizabethan.	1.3580	0.06645	81	57	19	5
1052	...and when you eat there isn’t that annoying scraping noise on the floor.	1.3580	0.06409	81	56	21	4
1053	Well that’s embarrassing	1.3580	0.06874	81	58	17	6
1054	Windy out there.	1.3579	0.06155	95	67	22	6
1055	If it rains you'll drown.	1.3579	0.06509	95	69	18	8
1056	Itchy, no, but I was recently ordained.	1.3579	0.06334	95	68	20	7
1057	I wanted to bring a modern look to a classic.	1.3579	0.06334	95	68	20	7
1058	Hi, I'm Father Michael"s dog.	1.3579	0.05876	95	68	21	6
1059	It's symbolic with my owners. They're also anti-maskers.	1.3579	0.06155	95	67	22	6
1060	Cone of shame? I say cone of FAME, baby!	1.3579	0.05780	95	65	26	4
1061	Is it supposed to rain?	1.3579	0.07164	95	73	10	12
1062	The wind was just insane on my way over.	1.3579	0.05970	95	66	24	5
1063	They turned it backwards after they found out I filled it with biscuits and just played video games all day.	1.3578	0.05905	109	78	23	8
1064	If you think this is backwards, you should see how my human wears his mask.	1.3571	0.05686	126	92	23	11
1065	It’s Elizabethan. I’m auditioning for Bridgerton.	1.3571	0.06527	98	72	17	9
1066	So I thought to myself, when has a terrier ever listened to direction?	1.3571	0.06527	98	72	17	9
1067	My human was annoyed at all the things I was knocking over. But don't worry, because now I just walk backward.	1.3571	0.06022	84	57	24	3
1068	...and it really makes me less wind resistant!	1.3571	0.05664	98	67	27	4
1069	I see you're an admirer of Margaret Atwood.	1.3571	0.06527	98	72	17	9
1070	Yes, reversible is in this year!	1.3571	0.06195	112	83	18	11
1071	I think we're fraternal twins.	1.3571	0.06699	84	60	18	6
1072	Careful, it's windy out.	1.3571	0.06481	84	59	20	5
1073	I like your vibe	1.3571	0.06699	84	60	18	6
1074	Trust me, Mabel. I’m cone sold stober.	1.3571	0.06364	98	71	19	8
1075	I’ve been circumcised. What were you in for?	1.3571	0.06910	84	63	13	8
1076	I’m a Lampshadedoodle; what are you?	1.3571	0.05847	98	68	25	5
1077	No, he isnt a vet. He is a naturopath.	1.3571	0.06910	84	61	16	7
1078	No, I entered the seminary.	1.3571	0.06197	98	70	21	7
1079	That's so last year, Bob.	1.3571	0.06699	84	60	18	6
1080	My vet trusts me.	1.3571	0.06256	84	58	22	4
1081	I guess my owner doesn’t listen to my doctor either.	1.3571	0.06910	84	61	16	7
1082	If you think this is bad, you should see how my owner wears his mask	1.3571	0.06686	98	73	15	10
1083	I get better reception this way.	1.3564	0.06384	101	74	18	9
1084	Let's race - I'm more aerodynamic now!	1.3564	0.06066	101	72	22	7
1085	Yes, my owner is the one with her mask below her nose.	1.3564	0.06538	101	75	16	10
1086	Extrovert, why do you ask?	1.3564	0.06227	101	73	20	8
1087	I'll give you the name of my lawyer.	1.3563	0.06327	87	61	21	5
1088	Bless you.	1.3563	0.07122	87	65	13	9
1089	You should checkout my vet, Barney. He's much more forward thinking.	1.3563	0.06112	87	60	23	4
1090	I find the lampshades from the dollar store work just as well !	1.3563	0.06535	87	62	19	6
1091	It's like America these days, half of the people think the other half has it wrong.	1.3563	0.06737	87	63	17	7
1092	Better look in the mirror before you start criticizing.	1.3563	0.06737	87	63	17	7
1093	Homeschooled, huh?	1.3563	0.06112	87	60	23	4
1094	I got caught in a head wind.	1.3563	0.06327	87	61	21	5
1095	Seriously- you get a better 5G signal this way!	1.3563	0.06327	87	61	21	5
1096	I’m also proactively popping hydroxychloroquine...	1.3563	0.05658	87	58	27	2
1097	Actually, mine’s a lampshade.	1.3562	0.07395	73	53	14	6
1098	Well, at least there's one advantage to having Eric Trump as my owner.	1.3562	0.07892	73	55	10	8
1099	I'll wear it, but damned if I'm going to cover my nose.	1.3562	0.07133	73	52	16	5
1100	So I said to her, hey, let's try something new this time	1.3562	0.07892	73	55	10	8
1101	I’ve been vaccinated.	1.3556	0.06183	90	63	22	5
1102	Your collar is more of an Amy Coney Barrrett and mine is more of a Ruth Bader Ginsburg.	1.3556	0.05765	90	61	26	3
1103	No, I didn't get stitches. I joined a convent.	1.3556	0.05765	90	61	26	3
1104	Aren't you going to say 'gesundheit'?	1.3556	0.06944	90	67	14	9
1105	It's awful windy today. Watch yourself.	1.3556	0.06183	90	63	22	5
1106	I walked into a lampshade. What're you in here for?	1.3556	0.06382	90	64	20	6
1107	If it makes you feel any better, I still can't lick my butt.	1.3556	0.06762	90	66	16	8
1108	yeah, I got lucky...my master is dislexic...	1.3553	0.06676	76	53	19	4
1109	This way, headwind or tailwind, I come out ahead.	1.3553	0.06408	76	52	21	3
1110	Sure, if you want to blindly follow the advice of "medical experts" you can wear it like that, but I've done my own research!	1.3553	0.06408	76	52	21	3
1111	Lucky for me my owner’s dyslexic	1.3553	0.07656	76	57	11	8
1112	The answer,my friend,is blowin in the wind.	1.3553	0.06676	76	53	19	4
1113	Sure, it’s less effective this way, but there’s this thing called personal freedom...	1.3553	0.07183	76	55	15	6
1114	Hey Ralph! Does this cone make my butt look big?	1.3553	0.06934	76	54	17	5
1115	Oh, Rex, that way is soooo last week.	1.3551	0.05827	107	76	24	7
1116	I'm telling you man, it's all a hoax.	1.3548	0.06777	93	69	15	9
1117	It's completely reversed my shame.	1.3548	0.06602	93	68	17	8
1118	Bulldogs, poodles... it's how all the French are wearing them now.	1.3548	0.06238	93	66	21	6
1119	True, I can lick and bite myself, but you have better acoustics for barking!	1.3548	0.06777	93	69	15	9
1120	Are you getting any signal?	1.3548	0.05851	93	66	22	5
1121	Yeah, I know it's backwards, but I get less aerodynamic drag and sidestream turbulence at higher velocities.	1.3548	0.06602	93	68	17	8
1122	Who’s a good boy now?	1.3548	0.06947	93	72	10	11
1123	It's not backwards; it's doggy style.	1.3548	0.06422	93	67	19	7
1124	No, I'm fine, I just knocked over a lamp.	1.3548	0.06422	93	67	19	7
1125	The voices in my head are gone!	1.3548	0.06422	93	67	19	7
1126	only in New York baby!!	1.3548	0.06422	93	67	19	7
1127	I’m a therapy dog.	1.3544	0.06505	79	55	20	4
1128	I took 10 seconds off my personal best!	1.3544	0.06986	79	57	16	6
1129	Why yes, I am Lucky. What's your name?	1.3544	0.07215	79	58	14	7
1130	I've always been somewhat of a contrarian.	1.3544	0.06251	79	54	22	3
1131	They tried to tell me the procedure was reversible, too.	1.3544	0.07215	79	58	14	7
1132	Hello! I have been vaccinated...	1.3542	0.06102	96	68	22	6
1133	This helps my speed - I can get the postman now!	1.3542	0.06102	96	68	22	6
1134	I got the idea on Etsy.	1.3540	0.05750	113	81	24	8
1135	Can you hear me better now?	1.3540	0.05611	113	80	26	7
1136	My owner never reads the instructions.	1.3537	0.06803	82	59	17	6
1137	I think you wouldn't be so narrow-minded if you didn't turn up your collar to everything.	1.3537	0.06578	82	58	19	5
1138	I’m medically exempt from wearing the cone forwards.	1.3537	0.06803	82	59	17	6
1139	It covers my double chin.	1.3535	0.06310	99	72	19	8
1140	But, Dad - all the kids are wearing them backwards these days.	1.3535	0.05974	99	70	23	6
1141	I am the dog that thinks outside of the cone.	1.3535	0.05974	99	70	23	6
1142	Mine is for speed	1.3535	0.06310	99	72	19	8
1143	I’ve never been this aerodynamic before, Ralph. Never.	1.3535	0.05139	99	68	28	3
1144	Sister Bertrille! I thought I recognized you.	1.3529	0.06841	85	62	16	7
1145	Yeah...and he also hasn't figured out his remote yet.	1.3529	0.06633	85	61	18	6
1146	These days I identify more as a floor lamp.	1.3529	0.06633	85	61	18	6
1147	You don't even want to know what I'm being treated for.	1.3529	0.06418	85	60	20	5
1148	That must have been some wind.	1.3529	0.06633	85	61	18	6
1149	I got mine from the lamp in the corner	1.3529	0.06841	85	62	16	7
1150	You know, I've heard of a couple of studies that say double-coning is even more effective!	1.3529	0.06196	85	59	22	4
1151	It seems like I’m the only one licking in this relationship.	1.3529	0.06176	102	74	20	8
1152	I gained a quarter of a mile per hour .	1.3529	0.06196	85	59	22	4
1153	I was looking in the mirror when I put it on.	1.3529	0.06017	102	73	22	7
1154	It's easy, just stick your head out the car window.	1.3529	0.06196	85	64	14	7
1155	I'm fine. It's actually the result of a little incident I had with a floor lamp.	1.3529	0.06176	102	74	20	8
1156	At least you can hold extra food in yours.	1.3529	0.06196	85	59	22	4
1157	My human is dumber than your human, but I like him that way.	1.3529	0.06017	102	73	22	7
1158	Just push your head through the cat door. It works for me every time.	1.3529	0.06196	85	59	22	4
1159	That’s ruff	1.3529	0.05966	85	58	24	3
1160	It’s the newest style, downward facing cone.	1.3524	0.06199	105	77	19	9
1161	Much more aerodynamic, you know.	1.3523	0.05247	88	65	18	5
1162	I hung my head out the window and boom, new collar!!	1.3523	0.06473	88	63	19	6
1163	Yeah, at my vet you get a choice”	1.3523	0.06056	88	61	23	4
1164	As long as I wear one, I can stay on disability.	1.3523	0.06473	88	63	19	6
1165	How did you know I just got back from a car ride?	1.3523	0.06056	88	61	23	4
1166	Windy today,huh.	1.3523	0.06473	88	63	19	6
1167	Yes sister, but our order is a progressive one.	1.3523	0.06672	88	64	17	7
1168	It’s just like a reverse mortgage	1.3523	0.06865	88	65	15	8
1169	Why yes, but how did you guess that my master is dyslexic?	1.3521	0.07260	71	51	15	5
1170	I'm telling you, it's really windy outside.	1.3521	0.06683	71	49	19	3
1171	I'm the Caped Avenger. Who are you?"	1.3521	0.06978	71	50	17	4
1172	I found a loophole!	1.3519	0.05782	108	77	24	7
1173	Oh, yours is for resistance? Mine's built for speed.	1.3516	0.06323	91	65	20	6
1174	We can’t both be right.	1.3516	0.06323	91	65	20	6
1175	Yeah, all ya gotta do is get goin' REAL fast and then go through the doggie door. It worth it, man!	1.3516	0.06127	91	64	22	5
1176	How many channels do you get with that dish?	1.3516	0.06698	91	67	16	8
1177	Does this collar make me look fat?	1.3516	0.06127	91	64	22	5
1178	I’m the designated butt licker	1.3516	0.06514	91	66	18	7
1179	You don't hear the ocean this way.	1.3516	0.06514	91	66	18	7
1180	I find the button down collar just gives a me more professional look.	1.3516	0.06514	91	66	18	7
1181	Let me guess: bingewatching the Handmaid's Tale?	1.3516	0.06698	91	67	16	8
1182	It works the same way but much less shame!	1.3516	0.06323	91	65	20	6
1183	It’s rather windy outside.	1.3516	0.06127	91	64	22	5
1184	I don't care if it's how the kids wear it.	1.3516	0.05925	91	63	24	4
1185	Catholic	1.3516	0.06127	91	64	22	5
1186	My dad dressed me today.	1.3516	0.06514	91	66	18	7
1187	I needed a neck lift, I was turning into a Sharpei	1.3516	0.06127	91	64	22	5
1188	No, really. This is how they wear them in Paris!	1.3516	0.06514	91	66	18	7
1189	In a dog eat dog world I have an advantage !	1.3514	0.06064	74	52	19	3
1190	Me, I’m more of an extrovert.	1.3514	0.05955	111	81	21	9
1191	That must be a drag.	1.3514	0.06784	74	52	18	4
1192	You're the first one to notice.	1.3511	0.05995	94	66	23	5
1193	Backwards? Okay Boomer!	1.3511	0.06542	94	69	17	8
1194	Yeah, okay, so it's technically not thinking outside the cone. But you get my point, right?	1.3511	0.06365	94	68	19	7
1195	I stuck my head out the window of the car and, voila, it flipped over!	1.3511	0.06365	94	68	19	7
1196	Any chewing I can help you with?	1.3511	0.06715	94	70	15	9
1197	I can't lick down there either	1.3511	0.06183	94	67	21	6
1198	Do you want to hear the other nine steps to finding a new perspective on life?	1.3506	0.07104	77	56	15	6
1199	You got your head cone ass backwards.	1.3506	0.06859	77	55	17	5
1200	My lady voted for Biden.	1.3506	0.06341	77	53	21	3
1201	What can I say, they're fashion conscious and I convinced them that this was a better look.	1.3506	0.07341	77	57	13	7
1202	No, really. On you it looks good.	1.3505	0.05870	97	68	24	5
1203	Let's race.	1.3505	0.06225	97	70	20	7
1204	Despite our differences I think we can still work together.	1.3505	0.06050	97	69	22	6
1205	Well for one, I'm dyslexic.	1.3504	0.05472	117	83	27	7
1206	Oh, the mask should cover your nose?	1.3500	0.05925	100	71	23	6
1207	It has the same effect,but with less shame.	1.3500	0.07138	80	59	14	7
1208	All the pups are wearing them like this now	1.3500	0.06256	100	73	19	8
1209	It's just a precaution in case my butt tries to try lick my face.	1.3500	0.06872	100	77	11	12
1210	You have to get up to 15,maybe 20 miles an hour.	1.3500	0.06256	100	73	19	8
1211	I could lick that for you.	1.3500	0.06680	80	57	18	5
1212	I think we’re a perfect fit!	1.3500	0.06680	80	57	18	5
1213	It’s not as humiliating somehow.	1.3500	0.07138	80	59	14	7
1214	I'm sure this is reversible, Frank	1.3500	0.06256	100	73	19	8
1215	I humped my human’s mother’s leg. You?	1.3500	0.07138	80	59	14	7
1216	Stick my head out of the car window on the way home... works every time.	1.3496	0.05770	123	91	21	11
1217	He also thinks hydroxychloroquine will stop covid.	1.3495	0.06429	103	77	16	10
1218	Say two Hail Marys and try not to lick there again	1.3495	0.05806	103	73	24	6
1219	Next time you're priest and I'm nun.	1.3495	0.06125	103	75	20	8
1220	Does my ass look fat?	1.3495	0.06429	103	77	16	10
1221	Hind sight is 20/20, my friend.	1.3494	0.06949	83	61	15	7
1222	Let’s just agree to disagree.	1.3494	0.06513	83	59	19	5
1223	Doggy day care? More like doggy don't care!	1.3494	0.06949	83	61	15	7
1224	Sore throat. You?	1.3494	0.06734	83	60	17	6
1225	Are you ready to confess your sins?	1.3494	0.06949	83	61	15	7
1226	I still get to lick, just not myself"	1.3494	0.06513	83	59	19	5
1227	Potato, potahto.	1.3494	0.06734	83	60	17	6
1228	Deflects the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune.	1.3494	0.06949	83	61	15	7
1229	My bark is actually better than my bite now.	1.3494	0.06734	83	60	17	6
1230	It was a very windy day.	1.3494	0.06734	83	60	17	6
1231	It’s ergonomically designed so I can run faster.	1.3494	0.06949	83	61	15	7
1232	I signed an agreement absolving my owners of any responsibility.	1.3494	0.06949	83	61	15	7
1233	They said I can still lick YOUR genitals.	1.3494	0.06513	83	59	19	5
1234	I’m part English Trendsetter.	1.3494	0.06045	83	57	23	3
1235	Strong wind out there today eh?	1.3494	0.07158	83	62	13	8
1236	Ah, the cone of shame... how mortifying. I was blessed with the collar of excellence.	1.3488	0.06568	86	62	18	6
1237	Did you hear, Fauci said Double coning will be next!	1.3488	0.06356	86	61	20	5
1238	I have a doctor's note so I can wear it like this	1.3488	0.06356	86	61	20	5
1239	my therapist said I needed a broader perspective	1.3488	0.06356	86	61	20	5
1240	Dude, I keep telling you. Chicks dig a flipped collar.	1.3488	0.06137	86	60	22	4
1241	Oh this? It’s dress rehearsals for my show, Shakespeare in the Bark.	1.3488	0.06773	86	63	16	7
1242	My human says we’re extroverts	1.3486	0.05587	109	77	26	6
1243	Run as hard as you can into a stiff wind and, voila.	1.3483	0.06412	89	64	19	6
1244	I told you, it's a casual event.	1.3483	0.06412	89	64	19	6
1245	I prefer the Pilgrim look to the Elizabethan	1.3483	0.06412	89	64	19	6
1246	This is an improvement. My last lady friend had a muzzle.	1.3483	0.06412	89	64	19	6
1247	You know that wind tunnel?	1.3483	0.06001	89	62	23	4
1248	You’re comical, I’m conical	1.3483	0.06799	89	66	15	8
1249	Mine keeps me from biting my nails.	1.3478	0.05872	92	64	24	4
1250	You have a lot to learn about aerodynamics.	1.3478	0.06266	92	66	20	6
1251	Wow. It really amplifies your bark!	1.3478	0.05665	92	63	26	3
1252	There's no right or wrong; just depends which way the wind is blowing.	1.3478	0.06072	92	65	22	5
1253	Yes, I'm a member of the clergy. Why do you ask?	1.3478	0.06814	92	69	14	9
1254	I think I got too drunk last night!	1.3478	0.05872	92	67	20	5
1255	Mine's an "in-nie" not an outtie.	1.3478	0.06454	92	67	18	7
1256	My owner has dyslexia. Wanna see where he attaches the leash?	1.3478	0.06072	92	65	22	5
1257	Never stick your head out of the car window.	1.3478	0.06454	92	67	18	7
1258	Because the Vet said that I had achieved herd immunity.	1.3478	0.06636	92	68	16	8
1259	🎶 I did it my way . . . .	1.3478	0.06793	69	48	18	3
1260	I have an undisclosed medical condition so I can't wear it right.	1.3478	0.07100	69	49	16	4
1261	We're stackable.	1.3474	0.05943	95	67	23	5
1262	Trust me. Just keep scraping everything off the coffee table; eventually they'll turn it around.	1.3474	0.06128	95	68	21	6
1263	I prefer the term 'influencer.'	1.3474	0.06308	95	69	19	7
1264	I know it’s inside out. Everything else is in the cleaners.	1.3474	0.06308	95	69	19	7
1265	Does it make me look thinner?	1.3474	0.05553	95	65	27	3
1266	Listen, you scratch my back and I’ll scratch yours.	1.3474	0.05751	95	66	25	4
1267	I'm going into the Ministry!	1.3474	0.06128	95	68	21	6
1268	This is what they really mean by doggy style!	1.3472	0.07951	72	55	9	8
1269	It helps to read the directions.	1.3472	0.07175	72	52	15	5
1270	I'm quite sure.	1.3472	0.07175	72	52	15	5
1271	My owner says there’s no proof that cones work, anyway.	1.3472	0.07701	72	54	11	7
1272	This way, I can stick my head out the back window and we still get 32mpg in the city.	1.3469	0.05820	98	69	24	5
1273	My vet is dyslexic. I just couldn't bring myself to say anything.	1.3469	0.06171	98	71	20	7
1274	Dude! That is SO retro!	1.3469	0.05447	98	67	28	3
1275	No, yours is Elizabethan, mine is Pilgrim	1.3469	0.06340	98	72	18	8
1276	I wasn't aware that you were Jewish, Rex.	1.3468	0.05955	124	94	17	13
1277	That's some wind out there!	1.3467	0.06973	75	54	16	5
1278	My vet got his degree online.	1.3467	0.06973	75	54	16	5
1279	I stuck my head out the car window. The next thing I knew my peripheral vision had been restored!	1.3467	0.07472	75	56	12	7
1280	Mine references the Elizabethan period. How about yours ?	1.3467	0.06710	75	53	18	4
1281	Pilgrim. What's your name?	1.3465	0.06361	101	75	17	9
1282	But we can still lick each other's butt.	1.3465	0.05061	101	75	20	6
1283	I am now an ordained priest and can make moral decisions as to whom to bite.	1.3465	0.05705	101	71	25	5
1284	I’d sue.	1.3465	0.06361	101	75	17	9
1285	My veterinarian is Jewish.	1.3462	0.06662	104	80	12	12
1286	been there, done that.	1.3462	0.06536	78	55	19	4
1287	You look so conical.	1.3462	0.06536	78	55	19	4
1288	I was trying to get through the hole in the fence and it just went "Pop!"	1.3462	0.05920	104	75	22	7
1289	I got here as fast as I could	1.3462	0.06075	104	76	20	8
1290	And then I said, 'The Elizabethan collar was a symbol of the aristocracy, therefore you must serve me roast beef, salmon and artesian water.' So they relented, and now I can ride with my head out the window."	1.3462	0.06520	104	79	14	11
1291	'It's 2021 Susan, stop letting the vet make decisions for you. Take control.'	1.3462	0.07027	78	57	15	6
1292	Don’t ask, I ran through the pet door.	1.3458	0.06383	107	81	15	11
1293	I think it has to do with whether they think you are an introvert or extrovert.	1.3458	0.05954	107	78	21	8
1294	If you jam it into your owner’s legs enough times, you get an upgrade.	1.3458	0.06100	107	79	19	9
1295	My vet's new.	1.3458	0.05650	107	76	25	6
1296	Welcome to Chicago ! When you turn the next corner you will see why they call it the WINDY City!	1.3458	0.05804	107	77	23	7
1297	So who licks your balls?	1.3457	0.07062	81	60	14	7
1298	G'day mate!	1.3457	0.06840	81	59	16	6
1299	I wear it because I am a Puritan breed.	1.3457	0.06611	81	58	18	5
1300	Oh. Mine didn't come with instructions.	1.3457	0.06373	81	57	20	4
1301	Yes, I can hear you now!	1.3457	0.06611	81	58	18	5
1302	It means I’m taken	1.3457	0.07062	81	60	14	7
1303	I got tired of just being seen as a lightbulb.	1.3457	0.06373	81	57	20	4
1304	They say that opposites attract.......now what?	1.3457	0.05869	81	55	24	2
1305	At our place style trumps function	1.3457	0.06611	81	58	18	5
1306	I may have been 'fixed,' but my sense of style is still intact.	1.3457	0.07062	81	60	14	7
1307	No it’s not backwards, it’s Chanel.	1.3457	0.07278	81	61	12	8
1308	Yeah, my owner is not the brightest bulb on the tree	1.3457	0.06611	81	58	18	5
1309	I saw a Facebook video about how they’re not really effective anyways, so why does it matter how I wear it?	1.3457	0.07278	81	61	12	8
1310	Easy! Just squeeze through the dog door!	1.3452	0.05742	84	59	22	3
1311	'Try facing into the wind'	1.3452	0.06667	84	61	17	6
1312	I like to go with the airflow.	1.3452	0.06448	84	60	19	5
1313	Aerodynamics!	1.3452	0.06222	84	59	21	4
1314	Ok so you can amplify your barks, but I can amplify my farts!	1.3452	0.06667	84	61	17	6
1315	Careful going thru the doggie door.	1.3452	0.06667	84	61	17	6
1316	It’s a lampshade I found in the trash...point is we gotta stick together.	1.3452	0.06667	84	61	17	6
1317	I go to one of those alternative veterinarians.	1.3452	0.06448	84	60	19	5
1318	I’m now ordained	1.3452	0.07084	84	63	13	8
1319	Hemorrhoids”	1.3452	0.06667	84	61	17	6
1320	It's more a support cone than a cone of shame.	1.3452	0.06667	84	61	17	6
1321	That whole mirror thing still has me confused.	1.3452	0.06667	84	61	17	6
1322	Didn't you get the memo? Tudors are out, Cromwells are in.	1.3451	0.06129	113	85	17	11
1323	It reduces drag to improve my chances of catching the mailman. Yours?	1.3448	0.06504	87	63	18	6
1324	I’m an innie, you’re an outie.	1.3448	0.06707	87	64	16	7
1325	Can you hear the UPS truck sooner?	1.3448	0.06504	87	63	18	6
1326	It works the same . You just don't have to put up with the annoying echoes.	1.3448	0.06504	87	63	18	6
1327	I prefer the "collar of greatness" to "the cone of shame"	1.3448	0.06504	87	63	18	6
1328	I'll clean your nose if you clean my hiney.	1.3448	0.07094	87	66	12	9
1329	I’m in Rehab.	1.3448	0.06504	87	63	18	6
1330	They wanted me to get through the doggie door to do my business.	1.3448	0.06080	87	61	22	4
1331	'This way I don't get hat hair"	1.3448	0.05856	87	60	24	3
1332	Not much of a disguise, but they won't think to castrate a lamp!	1.3448	0.06707	87	64	16	7
1333	My vet is a big proponent of alternative medicine	1.3448	0.06903	87	65	14	8
1334	I’m more Victorian than Elizabethan.	1.3444	0.06153	90	64	21	5
1335	It’s haute-dog couture, darling.	1.3444	0.06153	90	64	21	5
1336	My human also wears his mask under his chin.	1.3444	0.05946	90	63	23	4
1337	Your cape is on backwards.	1.3444	0.06153	90	64	21	5
1338	You were right, it’s too windy outside.	1.3444	0.05510	90	61	27	2
1339	Nah, dude. Popped collars aren’t in anymore.	1.3444	0.06352	90	65	19	6
1340	You have to flip the narrative.	1.3444	0.06352	90	65	19	6
1341	Use your regular voice, now	1.3444	0.06352	90	65	19	6
1342	Elizabethan collars are out. RGB collars are all the rage.	1.3444	0.06546	90	66	17	7
1343	I'm actually fine, I'm just going into the priesthood.	1.3444	0.06153	90	64	21	5
1344	How did the Pixar audition go?	1.3444	0.06352	90	65	19	6
1345	I hear you, the sweater was bad enough!	1.3444	0.06352	90	65	19	6
1346	Oh.. So you’re an anti-coner.	1.3444	0.06352	90	65	19	6
1347	It’s highly likely your owner is smarter than mine.	1.3441	0.06209	93	67	20	6
1348	Your problem is that you attacked the lamp shade from the top.	1.3441	0.06395	93	68	18	7
1349	There's a collar mandate, sure, but they didn't say how you have to wear it.	1.3441	0.06209	93	67	20	6
1350	Well,don't know about you, but the last thing I remember was swinging from the light and I woke up like this..	1.3441	0.06395	93	68	18	7
1351	Why Rudy, I didn’t realize you were a cross dresser.	1.3441	0.06018	93	66	22	5
1352	You look different than your profile picture.	1.3441	0.06209	93	67	20	6
1353	They got tired of my amplified barking.	1.3441	0.06921	93	71	12	10
1354	It's difficult, but I can still lick my balls.	1.3441	0.06018	93	66	22	5
1355	Not sure. Something about reverse psychology.	1.3441	0.06395	93	68	18	7
1356	He said we were going on a walk. Next thing I know I woke up like this.	1.3441	0.06018	93	66	22	5
1357	I ate right through my bowl.How in hell did you do that	1.3438	0.06594	96	72	15	9
1358	I just ran through the doggy door at a dead run, like always....	1.3438	0.06253	96	70	19	7
1359	It’s the rage in Paris.	1.3438	0.06253	96	70	19	7
1360	I have a big favor to ask you.	1.3438	0.06253	96	70	19	7
1361	Did you also get in a fight with the lamp?	1.3434	0.05772	99	70	24	5
1362	I'm telling you, this is going to turn the cone industry on its head.	1.3434	0.05948	99	71	22	6
1363	I’ve easily shaved a half second off my average fetch time.	1.3434	0.05948	99	71	22	6
1364	Concave. An interesting choice.	1.3434	0.05948	99	71	22	6
1365	Pick up any good channels on that thing?	1.3434	0.06119	99	72	20	7
1366	But we have the same owner!	1.3429	0.07305	70	51	14	5
1367	Looks like we are a perfect fit.	1.3429	0.05384	105	73	28	4
1368	I'm an 'inny'. You're an 'outty' .	1.3429	0.07305	70	51	14	5
1369	Did I tell you I’d joined the priesthood?	1.3429	0.06176	105	78	18	9
1370	But it makes me look younger, don’t you think?	1.3425	0.06819	73	52	17	4
1371	I saw it on TikTok.	1.3425	0.07092	73	53	15	5
1372	The echo was just KILLING me!	1.3425	0.07092	73	53	15	5
1373	At least I can still lick your butt	1.3425	0.07356	73	54	13	6
1374	I have to wear it like this until my new cat tattoo heals."	1.3425	0.06819	73	52	17	4
1375	I flip it back right before I get home. They still haven't figured out I can, so please don't say anything.	1.3425	0.06819	73	52	17	4
1376	Why yes, my owner is Jewish. Why do you ask?"	1.3421	0.07387	76	57	12	7
1377	Interesting, which one of us is fashion forward.	1.3421	0.06896	76	55	16	5
1378	It’s reversible	1.3421	0.06896	76	55	16	5
1379	I prefer the more priestly look.	1.3421	0.07146	76	56	14	6
1380	Check the seams......I think you have it on inside out.	1.3421	0.06367	76	53	20	3
1381	Funny, I can hear you just fine.	1.3421	0.07387	76	57	12	7
1382	Some party last night."	1.3418	0.06211	79	55	21	3
1383	Hear what?	1.3418	0.06467	79	56	19	4
1384	You turn me on!	1.3418	0.06467	79	56	19	4
1385	Never before Memorial Day or after Labor Day.	1.3418	0.06467	79	56	19	4
1386	No, I haven't been bad. I joined the clergy.	1.3418	0.06467	79	56	19	4
1387	I always thought my vet was dyslexic.	1.3418	0.06951	79	58	15	6
1388	There's no copay, the only catch is he never finished veterinary school.	1.3418	0.07403	79	60	11	8
1389	I am a downward dog.	1.3418	0.06713	79	57	17	5
1390	I can rip out your stitches for you if you like	1.3417	0.05736	120	89	21	10
1391	I got tired of always hearing the sound of the ocean.	1.3415	0.06309	82	58	20	4
1392	If I do you, you'll do me?	1.3415	0.06543	82	59	18	5
1393	It's clear, our vets have different opinions!	1.3415	0.06770	82	60	16	6
1394	I'm a licker, not a biter	1.3415	0.06543	82	59	18	5
1395	And with the two pair of pants, it's four different outfits.	1.3415	0.07201	82	62	12	8
1396	I guess I see things from a different perspective!	1.3415	0.06543	82	59	18	5
1397	Mine’s a Louis Vuitton. Yours?	1.3415	0.06543	82	59	18	5
1398	I've had my vaccine.	1.3415	0.06309	82	58	20	4
1399	Either way—it’s supposed to promote healing and human laughter.	1.3415	0.06989	82	61	14	7
1400	Ten bucks says I can beat you in our race today to the fire hydrant.	1.3415	0.06309	82	58	20	4
1401	I wanted to be fast enough to catch the mailman	1.3415	0.06309	82	58	20	4
1402	Hey Boomer, I’m Gen Y.	1.3412	0.05930	85	59	23	3
1403	It's the latest thing, aerodynamically designed for dogs who chase cars.	1.3412	0.05689	85	58	25	2
1404	It's easy. Just stick your head out the window on the drive home.	1.3412	0.06385	85	61	19	5
1405	I'm not shouting.	1.3412	0.06600	85	62	17	6
1406	Just ride shotgun. It works every time.	1.3412	0.06161	85	60	21	4
1407	Mine? Its for aerodynamics.	1.3412	0.05930	85	59	23	3
1408	My vet says it's more aerodynamic.	1.3412	0.06600	85	62	17	6
1409	It’s easy. When she gets it up past 40, stick your head out the window. Works like a charm.	1.3412	0.06600	85	62	17	6
1410	It's reversible for fighting.	1.3412	0.06385	85	61	19	5
1411	The 1980's called. They want their collar back.	1.3412	0.06600	85	62	17	6
1412	Some wind!	1.3412	0.05930	85	59	23	3
1413	The Elizabethan collar is so pre plague	1.3412	0.06385	85	61	19	5
1414	Heh, my owner can’t figure out how I did it either.	1.3412	0.06385	85	61	19	5
1415	It sure makes it easier getting out of the dog door.	1.3409	0.06442	88	64	18	6
1416	I think this could lead to a very symbiotic relationship.	1.3409	0.06642	88	65	16	7
1417	It’s more of a political statement, really.	1.3409	0.06236	88	63	20	5
1418	It just felt too “Handmaid’s Tale” you know?	1.3409	0.06442	88	64	18	6
1419	I'm the nose cone.	1.3409	0.06236	88	63	20	5
1420	I know, I know. Was rushed dressing but I've gotten a lot of compliments.	1.3409	0.06023	88	62	22	4
1421	It was on sale!	1.3409	0.06836	88	66	14	8
1422	I call it the cone of dignity.	1.3409	0.06023	88	62	22	4
1423	Windy day huh?	1.3407	0.06294	91	66	19	6
1424	Either way, it beats a mask.	1.3407	0.05682	91	63	25	3
1425	75% off	1.3407	0.06670	91	68	15	8
1426	I never know if I’m coming or going!	1.3407	0.07027	91	70	11	10
1427	Coming or going?	1.3407	0.06485	91	67	17	7
1428	Did you get dressed in the dark?	1.3407	0.06485	91	67	17	7
1429	It’s like wearing your mask below your nose	1.3407	0.06096	91	65	21	5
1430	Would you like me to scratch that for you?	1.3407	0.06485	91	67	17	7
1431	It really gives you a different perspective on the world.	1.3407	0.06294	91	66	19	6
1432	...so the acoustics aren’t as good, but it did shave a quarter second off my lap time...	1.3407	0.06096	91	65	21	5
1433	It's all fun and games until you need to use the dog door.	1.3404	0.05770	94	66	24	4
1434	It got me over ten thousand likes in one hour.	1.3404	0.06515	94	70	16	8
1435	The aerodynamics are better, but it’s still a drag.	1.3404	0.06515	94	70	16	8
1436	I just had to run really fast.	1.3404	0.06515	94	70	16	8
1437	I still like you, but we run in different circles now.	1.3404	0.06515	94	70	16	8
1438	It would appear my human is one leash short of a walk in the park.	1.3404	0.05568	94	65	26	3
1439	Then they rolled down the window, so I just stuck my head out like I always do.	1.3404	0.05965	94	67	22	5
1440	Either way it stinks.	1.3404	0.05965	94	67	22	5
1441	I got lucky, my vet is dyslexic.	1.3402	0.05841	97	69	23	5
1442	Oh no, I didn't have surgery. I'm Cotton Mather's dog.	1.3402	0.06198	97	71	19	7
1443	My vet embraces a hipster style.	1.3402	0.06022	97	70	21	6
1444	Clearly we are made for each other	1.3402	0.06022	97	70	21	6
1445	Hey, don’t you know anything about aerodynamics?	1.3402	0.06198	97	71	19	7
1446	I see you had the trainee vet.	1.3400	0.05360	100	69	28	3
1447	On the other hand, some guys do enjoy wind resistance...	1.3400	0.05898	100	72	22	6
1448	Want me to lick it for you?	1.3400	0.06547	100	76	14	10
1449	And I can run faster too!	1.3400	0.06231	100	74	18	8
1450	What can I tell you? He’s a good owner but absolutely refuses to read instructions.	1.3400	0.06067	100	73	20	7
1451	I still chew, but I feel guilty about it.	1.3400	0.05898	100	72	22	6
1452	No, seriously. This is how we wear them in Australia.	1.3398	0.05943	103	75	21	7
1453	Easy, I just went through the pet door.	1.3398	0.05943	103	75	21	7
1454	It's great for talking, not so great for listening.	1.3398	0.05781	103	74	23	6
1455	It's like an "innie" or an "outie"	1.3396	0.05509	106	75	26	5
1456	I was just trying to turn off the lamp.	1.3396	0.06126	106	79	18	9
1457	Introvert ------Extrovert	1.3380	0.05999	71	48	22	1
1458	The instructions say it's reversible.	1.3380	0.06933	71	51	16	4
1459	That frames your face beautifully!	1.3380	0.06933	71	51	16	4
1460	I was going for more Puritan chic than Edwardian formal.	1.3380	0.06933	71	51	16	4
1461	Well, the so-called ‘experts’ also say not to eat your own poo.	1.3380	0.06933	71	51	16	4
1462	Sorry about your balls, dude.	1.3378	0.07521	74	56	11	7
1463	I think he just doesn't know how to draw necks.	1.3378	0.06168	74	51	21	2
1464	Vet? That’s why I go to a chiropractor.	1.3378	0.07270	74	55	13	6
1465	Well yeah,but it cuts wind resistance and I can look up when it’s raining.	1.3378	0.06742	74	53	17	4
1466	Yeah I run a lot faster now. I look thinner. It’s just really I feel like an all around “better me”.	1.3378	0.06742	74	53	17	4
1467	I bought mine at untuckit.com	1.3377	0.06820	77	56	16	5
1468	Yeah! I got the part in the upcoming season of Handmaid's Tale!	1.3377	0.07066	77	57	14	6
1469	I'm Australian.	1.3377	0.07066	77	57	14	6
1470	It's how all the dogs are wearing it in Paris!	1.3377	0.07304	77	58	12	7
1471	I see that you are not from around here.	1.3377	0.06820	77	56	16	5
1472	My vet may be dyslexic, but the thermometer goes in my mouth.	1.3377	0.06299	77	54	20	3
1473	Did you jump DOWN through a lampshade?	1.3377	0.06820	77	56	16	5
1474	It gives me better mileage!	1.3377	0.06565	77	55	18	4
1475	... and this vet will prescribe mushrooms too.	1.3375	0.05610	80	54	25	1
1476	This feels like a Yin-Yang moment.	1.3375	0.06877	80	59	15	6
1477	It's a "think outside the cone" solution.	1.3375	0.07103	80	60	13	7
1478	Ask yourself ‘Does the cone shame the dog or does the dog shame the cone?’	1.3375	0.06400	80	57	19	4
1479	I couldn't see the keys to play the piano.	1.3375	0.06148	80	56	21	3
1480	I thought the light bulb was a ball. You?	1.3373	0.06477	83	60	18	5
1481	One good sneeze will fix it.	1.3373	0.06700	83	61	16	6
1482	Car... window... need I say more?	1.3373	0.06477	83	60	18	5
1483	The manual says it offers protection without forgoing the pleasure.	1.3373	0.06700	83	61	16	6
1484	Thank God my master is a complete idiot.	1.3373	0.07125	83	63	12	8
1485	I find that look a bit too preppy for me	1.3373	0.06477	83	60	18	5
1486	Wait until you're running into a head wind!"	1.3373	0.06006	83	58	22	3
1487	What cone?	1.3373	0.06700	83	61	16	6
1488	No, I'm a nun.	1.3373	0.06477	83	60	18	5
1489	This is a lot more aerodynamic.	1.3373	0.06246	83	59	20	4
1490	It also makes a darling skirt!	1.3373	0.06477	83	60	18	5
1491	It’s a retro look, but it’s still evolving.	1.3372	0.06102	86	61	21	4
1492	Check it out... butt sniffing made easy.	1.3372	0.06741	86	64	15	7
1493	That collar is so pre-covid	1.3372	0.06322	86	62	19	5
1494	My parents are hipsters.	1.3372	0.06102	86	61	21	4
1495	Just one more reason to stick your head out of the car window!	1.3372	0.06322	86	62	19	5
1496	Listen, scratch my back, and I'll scratch yours.	1.3372	0.06102	86	61	21	4
1497	Run like the wind, my friend. Run like the wind!	1.3372	0.06322	86	62	19	5
1498	Well maybe your owner is doing it wrong.	1.3372	0.06102	86	61	21	4
1499	They forgot about the dog door.	1.3372	0.06741	86	64	15	7
1500	You appreciate the improved aerodynamics almost immediately.	1.3372	0.06322	86	62	19	5
1501	Just wait until it rains... then you’ll wish it was facing the same way mine is.	1.3372	0.06322	86	62	19	5
1502	Medically, they are both effective, but I get to eat.	1.3372	0.06102	86	61	21	4
1503	I’m glad you came over - I’’m an introvert.	1.3372	0.06322	86	62	19	5
1504	And it improves your getaway speed if they drop the leash.	1.3372	0.06322	86	62	19	5
1505	Mine is to protect my implants.	1.3372	0.06322	86	62	19	5
1506	Just find yourself a wind tunnel.	1.3372	0.06102	86	61	21	4
1507	Yep, a recent vet school grad!	1.3372	0.06322	86	62	19	5
1508	The science says they really don't work, you know.	1.3372	0.06102	86	61	21	4
1509	You just gotta run really fast	1.3371	0.06578	89	66	16	7
1510	It’s not put on wrong! My veterinarian is just dyslexic.	1.3371	0.06381	89	65	18	6
1511	It's not what you wear, bitch, it's how you wear it.	1.3371	0.06578	89	66	16	7
1512	My crime?—cat chase, lampshade. What you in for?	1.3371	0.06177	89	64	20	5
1513	He just got a new convertible and it is FAST!	1.3371	0.06381	89	65	18	6
1514	More aerodynamic this way	1.3371	0.06177	89	64	20	5
1515	I was going for the Puritan look.	1.3371	0.06381	89	65	18	6
1516	"Just sayin', Mildred, maybe it's time for a new look."	1.3371	0.06177	89	64	20	5
1517	Well, it was more of a cosmetic procedure	1.3371	0.05967	89	63	22	4
1518	I tell you, you don't have to change, it's just a matter of perspective	1.3371	0.06177	89	64	20	5
1519	This way my flatulence doesn’t bother me that much.	1.3371	0.05967	89	63	22	4
1520	Next time, go up the lamp.	1.3370	0.06786	92	70	13	9
1521	All the cool dogs are wearing it backwards these days.	1.3370	0.06041	92	66	21	5
1522	That was quite a wind!	1.3370	0.05840	92	65	23	4
1523	I crashed through a popcorn bucket. You?	1.3370	0.06041	92	66	21	5
1524	Dude,your stuck in the cone of silence.	1.3370	0.05840	92	65	23	4
1525	I wonder how many are trying out for that retro RCA ad?	1.3370	0.06608	92	69	15	8
1526	I'm telling you, just turn and face the wind and you'll be back normal in no time.	1.3370	0.06236	92	67	19	6
1527	Hey! I have an innie and you have an outie.	1.3370	0.06786	92	70	13	9
1528	The wife makes me wear it in public. This is my small act of defiance.	1.3370	0.06041	92	66	21	5
1529	Breast reduction. And you?	1.3370	0.05840	92	65	23	4
1530	You’re not wearing your mask properly.	1.3370	0.06608	92	69	15	8
1531	It accentuates my eyes.	1.3368	0.05817	95	70	19	6
1532	I didn't have the heart to tell them.	1.3368	0.06456	95	71	16	8
1533	It's easy! Just stick your head out the window on the expressway.	1.3368	0.06280	95	70	18	7
1534	It's called a Conical Canonical and reflects my recent repudiation of humanism.	1.3368	0.05913	95	68	22	5
1535	That's exactly how they want you to wear it. Free your mind, man.	1.3368	0.06456	95	71	16	8
1536	Well, Meghan is the expert on collaring, and she says Elizabethian is out.	1.3368	0.06280	95	70	18	7
1537	Do I still look fat?	1.3368	0.05314	95	65	28	2
1538	He's out of network, but worth every penny.	1.3368	0.06099	95	69	20	6
1539	But seriously who cares anymore?	1.3368	0.06280	95	70	18	7
1540	Welp. I thought it was a cape.	1.3368	0.06280	95	70	18	7
1541	I can also do the moonwalk	1.3368	0.05720	95	67	24	4
1542	Oh, I see you’re wearing last season’s style.	1.3368	0.05521	95	66	26	3
1543	My hooman never reads the instructions.	1.3367	0.06144	98	72	19	7
1544	I prefer this look. Of course, our balls were still cut off.	1.3367	0.05792	98	70	23	5
1545	You scratch my back and I lick your balls? Sounds fair.	1.3367	0.06478	98	74	15	9
1546	Reversed, it’s no longer a cone of shame, now I’m a member of the clergy.	1.3367	0.06478	98	74	15	9
1547	They got me the premium model that converts to this setting for car rides with the window down.	1.3367	0.04907	98	73	20	5
1548	Mine's built for speed!	1.3367	0.05971	98	71	21	6
1549	You went to the vet, too?" - "No. I fought a lamp. I won.	1.3367	0.05700	98	72	20	6
1550	I still can't gnaw at myself but I'm way more aerodynamic.	1.3366	0.05677	101	72	24	5
1551	My owners believe in reverse psychology.	1.3366	0.05849	101	73	22	6
1552	No I decided to join the church	1.3366	0.06178	101	75	18	8
1553	Trust me, it’s easier to lick your balls.	1.3365	0.06203	104	78	17	9
1554	I take it you're an introvert?	1.3365	0.05895	104	76	21	7
1555	My vet accepts bribes.	1.3364	0.06077	107	80	18	9
1556	You scratch my back and I'll scratch yours	1.3362	0.05468	116	84	25	7
1557	I stuck my head out the car window and started it new fad.	1.3333	0.06321	90	66	18	6
1558	This way I don't get stuck in that damn doggie door.	1.3333	0.06224	96	71	18	7
1559	I can get so much more licking done this way.	1.3333	0.05819	87	61	23	3
1560	My owner's a nun.	1.3333	0.06932	75	55	15	5
1561	So you're a "collar-popped-up" kind of guy	1.3333	0.05960	78	54	22	2
1562	I would if we were dating.	1.3333	0.06412	84	61	18	5
1563	I told you my owner doesn't know his back-end from his head.	1.3333	0.05966	102	75	20	7
1564	Your barking’s not as loud, but it’s way easier to stick your head out the car window	1.3333	0.06743	69	49	17	3
1565	Hi Flashlight, I'm Sister Lucy	1.3333	0.06888	90	69	12	9
1566	He's dyslexic.	1.3333	0.06495	78	56	18	4
1567	It’s easy, just stick your head out of the car window next time.	1.3333	0.06412	84	61	18	5
1568	Quite simple, you just have to stand in front of a fan.	1.3333	0.06560	72	51	18	3
1569	Sure, I lose a little in scent and sound collection, but I gain so much aerodynamically.	1.3333	0.06185	84	60	20	4
1570	I’m an Australian Shepard. This is how we wear them down under.	1.3333	0.05702	84	58	24	2
1571	I don't think you scratching my back if I lick you-know-where is entirely fair.	1.3333	0.06365	93	69	17	7
1572	I guess I am a bit different.	1.3333	0.06185	84	60	20	4
1573	I can run faster this way.	1.3333	0.06471	87	64	17	6
1574	My humans and I came to a compromise.	1.3333	0.05671	96	68	24	4
1575	...I know, but I gain 1.3 mph more when chasing squirrels.	1.3333	0.06675	87	65	15	7
1576	It's simple, just stick your head out the window when they're driving fast.	1.3333	0.06471	87	64	17	6
1577	You know how we do it... just stick your head out the car window	1.3333	0.06573	81	59	17	5
1578	It's Backward Day at obedience school.	1.3333	0.06515	90	67	16	7
1579	Its a convertable!	1.3333	0.05575	84	60	21	3
1580	You’re right, my love of period dramas has gotten out of hand.	1.3333	0.05631	102	73	24	5
1581	This is Biden's America.	1.3333	0.06471	87	64	17	6
1582	It's the aerodynamic model	1.3333	0.06632	84	62	16	6
1583	Mine's a Dior.	1.3333	0.06120	90	65	20	5
1584	Oh that? I'm pre op	1.3333	0.06573	81	59	17	5
1585	I know. My owner is left-handed.	1.3333	0.05966	102	75	20	7
1586	I was tired of the 'Handmaid's Tale' jokes.	1.3333	0.07912	72	56	8	8
1587	The canine equivalent to wearing your mask below your nose.	1.3333	0.07132	72	53	14	5
1588	It has changed my life!	1.3333	0.06321	90	66	18	6
1589	You don't want to see where he puts my leash.	1.3333	0.06091	99	73	19	7
1590	Who did yours?	1.3333	0.06560	72	51	18	3
1591	I lucked out, my owner didn't read the manual.	1.3333	0.05861	96	69	22	5
1592	They’re using reverse psychology on me.	1.3333	0.06086	81	57	21	3
1593	I turned my cone of shame into a fashion statement.	1.3333	0.06044	87	62	21	4
1594	OK Boomer	1.3333	0.06283	102	77	16	9
1595	it cut 10 seconds on my 100 yard dash time!	1.3333	0.05275	102	71	28	3
1596	Much more aerodynamic.	1.3333	0.07051	84	64	12	8
1597	I’ll scratch yours if you’ll scratch mine.	1.3333	0.06804	81	60	15	6
1598	It’s to keep me from touching my face	1.3333	0.06185	84	60	20	4
1599	So ... Have you ever been in a wind tunnel?	1.3333	0.06804	81	60	15	6
1600	I just really hate the sound of my own voice.	1.3333	0.06412	84	61	18	5
1601	Trump is gone. It's okay to listen again!	1.3333	0.06845	84	63	14	7
1602	I suppose it's a matter of taste".	1.3333	0.07187	75	56	13	6
1603	Careful, it's kinda windy outside.	1.3333	0.06932	75	55	15	5
1604	No, really. They clocked me at going 93 miles an hour out of that vet’s office.	1.3333	0.06471	87	64	17	6
1605	Yes....and Dog is just God spelled backwards, so what’s your point?	1.3333	0.06845	84	63	14	7
1606	introvert meets extrovert	1.3333	0.07052	69	50	15	4
1607	Don't you just love it -- it's reversible!	1.3333	0.05912	90	64	22	4
1608	At least your bark sounds deeper.	1.3333	0.06989	78	58	14	6
1609	This way it's a cone of style, not shame.	1.3333	0.06632	84	62	16	6
1610	My only explanation is my human must be dyslexic	1.3333	0.06989	78	58	14	6
1611	All it took was a little reverse psychology!	1.3333	0.06261	87	63	19	5
1612	Viva la différence !	1.3333	0.06746	78	57	16	5
1613	Expecting rain?	1.3333	0.06185	84	60	20	4
1614	My owners are big on reverse psychology.	1.3333	0.06179	93	68	19	6
1615	Apparently it's how all the neutered dogs are wearing it now.	1.3333	0.06989	78	58	14	6
1616	You see a cone of shame I see a daring fashion statement.	1.3333	0.06334	81	58	19	4
1617	Plus, mine makes me look faster!	1.3333	0.05847	105	77	21	7
1618	The doctor LIKES me	1.3333	0.06804	81	60	15	6
1619	This way we can still give kisses.	1.3333	0.05456	102	72	26	4
1620	Either way. It's hard.	1.3333	0.06365	93	69	17	7
1621	Gary, nobody wears it like that anymore.	1.3333	0.05262	108	76	28	4
1622	It's way more aero.	1.3333	0.07027	81	61	13	7
1623	He can’t figure out a pastry bag either!	1.3333	0.07223	78	59	12	7
1624	Just run as fast as you can, into the wind.	1.3333	0.05920	99	72	21	6
1625	That thing on your head looks stupid.	1.3333	0.06046	96	70	20	6
1626	fashion > function	1.3333	0.06573	81	59	17	5
1627	And when the speedometer hits 87 mph, no more, no less, that’s when you stick your head out the window.	1.3333	0.06283	102	77	16	9
1628	I'm telling you, sticking your head out the car window is way better with that thing on!	1.3333	0.06179	93	68	19	6
1629	It’s a Pilgrim thing.	1.3333	0.05788	93	66	23	4
1630	Two dogs explaining to humans why it’s important to wear a face mask properly	1.3333	0.06932	75	55	15	5
1631	I tried it that way but couldn't lick my butt.	1.3333	0.05966	102	75	20	7
1632	I've always preferred backing in.	1.3333	0.05165	96	73	17	6
1633	I'll scratch your butt if you scratch mine.	1.3333	0.06365	93	69	17	7
1634	I wasn't at the vet, I got mine when I knocked a lamp over.	1.3333	0.06412	84	61	18	5
1635	It adds an element of aerodynamic sophistication.	1.3333	0.06044	87	62	21	4
1636	Sure that magnifies your bark, but at least I can still bite	1.3333	0.06044	87	62	21	4
1637	At least we can still sniff each other's butts.	1.3333	0.06471	87	64	17	6
1638	It looks great on you, but I just knew I couldn’t pull off that Handmaid’s Tale look.	1.3333	0.06932	75	55	15	5
1639	Well, during Paris Fashion Week everyone was wearing them this way.	1.3333	0.05788	93	66	23	4
1640	It's easy. You just walk in backwards like you're walking out...	1.3333	0.06261	87	63	19	5
1641	I still can't reach my nuts, but at least now I can see them	1.3333	0.06126	102	76	18	8
1642	This way the shame is on the inside.	1.3333	0.06029	108	81	18	9
1643	I got my head stuck in a lampshade too!	1.3333	0.06120	90	65	20	5
1644	My therapist says shame slows the healing process	1.3333	0.05948	84	59	22	3
1645	It's Fashion Week	1.3333	0.06632	84	62	16	6
1646	Max, I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship.	1.3333	0.05933	87	64	18	5
1647	I don't like to read instructions.	1.3333	0.06852	72	52	16	4
1648	No, I just had a run-in with the lamp.	1.3333	0.06804	81	60	15	6
1649	Objects in mirror, are closer than they appear.	1.3333	0.05934	72	49	22	1
1650	Popped collars are so last year.	1.3333	0.05987	93	67	21	5
1651	They said it was making my barks too loud.	1.3333	0.07223	78	59	12	7
1652	I know, right? They let the intern handle the cones again.	1.3333	0.06086	81	57	21	3
1653	This way makes me look slimmer.	1.3333	0.05671	96	68	24	4
1654	My vet is holistic.	1.3333	0.06573	81	59	17	5
1655	Some dogs chase the trends, I create them.	1.3333	0.06120	90	65	20	5
1656	And you should see the doghouse my owners got me from IKEA	1.3333	0.06560	72	51	18	3
1657	No, I don't have fleas. I ran into a lamp.	1.3333	0.06185	84	60	20	4
1658	Yours gets better reception	1.3333	0.06261	87	63	19	5
1659	So, your human still not woke, huh?	1.3333	0.07132	72	53	14	5
1660	Mine is a N94 , I ordered it on line	1.3333	0.06258	99	74	17	8
1661	You dive in the lake one time.	1.3333	0.06573	81	59	17	5
1662	Cone of shame? Try the Cone of Fame!	1.3304	0.05365	112	83	22	7
1663	I don't have any teeth so mine is more of a fashion statement.	1.3302	0.05315	106	75	27	4
1664	And to think they told me it wasn't reversible.	1.3302	0.06102	106	80	17	9
1665	It's aerodynamic - you must feel a lot of drag.	1.3301	0.06230	103	78	16	9
1666	So I guess you’re not Jewish, huh?	1.3301	0.05917	103	76	20	7
1667	What are you looking at? It’s not like I did this to myself...	1.3300	0.05423	100	73	22	5
1668	Mine’s for extroverts.	1.3300	0.06204	100	75	17	8
1669	I had just finished telling that vet that he wouldn't know his head from his tail	1.3300	0.06365	100	76	15	9
1670	I like the way it highlights your nose.	1.3300	0.05695	100	72	23	5
1671	Look friend, I run 30% faster with this thing on!	1.3299	0.05811	97	70	22	5
1672	No surgery, just dressing like a lamp today.	1.3299	0.05811	97	70	22	5
1673	I know. I got dressed in the dark this morning.	1.3299	0.05993	97	71	20	6
1674	What are you in for? I got caught lickin’.	1.3299	0.05993	97	71	20	6
1675	My vet said it's a better look on Zoom.	1.3299	0.05227	97	72	20	5
1676	I don't think it makes your face look fat.	1.3299	0.05993	97	71	20	6
1677	„Updated CDC guidance.“	1.3299	0.05623	97	69	24	4
1678	I swallowed the light bulb.	1.3298	0.05737	94	67	23	4
1679	I had my neuter reversed.	1.3298	0.06486	94	71	15	8
1680	I decided to prioritize comfort over functionality.	1.3298	0.06123	94	69	19	6
1681	I thought I was getting ice cream. You?	1.3298	0.06307	94	70	17	7
1682	The vet's friend of mine.	1.3298	0.05737	94	67	23	4
1683	Honey, the event is casual, not formal.	1.3298	0.06123	94	69	19	6
1684	My people subscribe to the progressive method.	1.3298	0.05534	94	66	25	3
1685	I like thinking out of the cone	1.3298	0.06486	94	71	15	8
1686	Less drag this way.	1.3298	0.05637	94	69	20	5
1687	My dad threw away the instructions.	1.3298	0.06123	94	69	19	6
1688	Next time try getting yours at The Humane Society.	1.3297	0.06261	91	67	18	6
1689	I was tired of feeling "Greater Than".	1.3297	0.06063	91	66	20	5
1690	Very nice! Is it Dior?	1.3297	0.06454	91	68	16	7
1691	We can kiss, but not neck.	1.3297	0.06454	91	68	16	7
1692	Dyslectic vet	1.3297	0.06063	91	66	20	5
1693	I have to use a little hair product but then it stays back for most of the day.”	1.3297	0.06261	91	67	18	6
1694	Don't look at me like that! I saw it in Vogue.	1.3297	0.06454	91	68	16	7
1695	Maybe don't stick your head out of the car window.	1.3297	0.06063	91	66	20	5
1696	Did you know you have a lamp shade on your head?	1.3297	0.05537	91	71	13	7
1697	My therapist says I need to focus more on my surroundings, and live in the moment	1.3297	0.06261	91	67	18	6
1698	Does your owner wear their mask on their forehead?	1.3297	0.05646	91	64	24	3
1699	What surgery? I got my head stuck in a megaphone.	1.3297	0.06640	91	69	14	8
1700	Oh yeah, well I can still drink from the toilet, you can’t.	1.3297	0.06454	91	68	16	7
1701	I've been telling you, you've got to use reverse psychology on humans	1.3295	0.06201	88	64	19	5
1702	There are advantages in being clergy.	1.3295	0.06609	88	66	15	7
1703	Lampshade, and you?	1.3295	0.06993	88	68	11	9
1704	Margaret Atwood called and asked me to audition.	1.3295	0.06804	88	67	13	8
1705	I told them it was too windy to go for a walk	1.3295	0.06409	88	65	17	6
1706	What are you, an idiot?	1.3295	0.06409	88	65	17	6
1707	At least you know when you have dog-food breath.	1.3295	0.04343	88	64	22	2
1708	To each his cone.	1.3295	0.06609	88	66	15	7
1709	And you just BELIEVE what the vet tells you?"	1.3295	0.06409	88	65	17	6
1710	My master does it with his baseball cap.	1.3295	0.06201	88	64	19	5
1711	Simply stand facing the wind.	1.3295	0.06201	88	64	19	5
1712	My owner likes Rembrandt.	1.3295	0.06201	88	64	19	5
1713	I still can’t lick myself, but at least I look good.	1.3295	0.05765	88	62	23	3
1714	Yes, my owners usually wear masks below their nose... why do you ask?	1.3295	0.06201	88	64	19	5
1715	I've decided to go into the priesthood,	1.3294	0.06124	85	61	20	4
1716	You have to know how to train them.	1.3294	0.06348	85	62	18	5
1717	I feel 20 years younger.	1.3294	0.06565	85	63	16	6
1718	Introvert vs. Extrovert	1.3294	0.06124	85	61	20	4
1719	I guess our vet is dyslexic, but I am just being obtuse.	1.3294	0.06565	85	63	16	6
1720	It's not too late. You can still switch to the Sisters of St. Joseph.	1.3294	0.06348	85	62	18	5
1721	This works better on the top of Mitt Romney's car.	1.3294	0.06565	85	63	16	6
1722	What echo chamber?	1.3294	0.06565	85	63	16	6
1723	Oh that's so last dog-year."	1.3294	0.06124	85	61	20	4
1724	Yeah. All you have to do is run like hell through your doggie door.	1.3294	0.06124	85	61	20	4
1725	Mange is a hoax.	1.3294	0.06775	85	64	14	7
1726	Wind resistance is noticeably less.	1.3294	0.06348	85	62	18	5
1727	ANOTHER thing we do not agree on!	1.3294	0.05648	85	59	24	2
1728	I've traded reception for speed...	1.3294	0.06775	85	64	14	7
1729	I was rear-ended and my lawyer thinks it's serious!	1.3294	0.06775	85	64	14	7
1730	helluva head wind out there.	1.3294	0.06124	85	61	20	4
1731	I'm a cone head and you're the flying nun	1.3294	0.06348	85	62	18	5
1732	when I sit, I stop traffic	1.3294	0.06979	85	65	12	8
1733	My mom really likes RBG	1.3294	0.06565	85	63	16	6
1734	We left Elizabethan England for Plimoth so we could wear our collars this way.	1.3294	0.06124	85	61	20	4
1735	I just stuck my head out the car at just the right angle	1.3294	0.06124	85	61	20	4
1736	My owner's an idiot, that's why!	1.3293	0.06505	82	60	17	5
1737	My owner seldom reads directions	1.3293	0.06953	82	62	13	7
1738	Dude! You gotta get the aerodynamic upgrade.	1.3293	0.06505	82	60	17	5
1739	Difference is my friend. I look goooooood.	1.3293	0.06505	82	60	17	5
1740	I think it looks more fetching this way.	1.3293	0.06270	82	59	19	4
1741	This is one of the things I like best about divinity school	1.3293	0.07166	82	63	11	8
1742	I stopped scratching and joined the clergy.	1.3293	0.06505	82	60	17	5
1743	Couldn't you get the vaccine?	1.3293	0.06953	82	62	13	7
1744	It sucks to be you when it rains!	1.3293	0.06270	82	59	19	4
1745	Yeah? Well, I think yours is on backwards!	1.3293	0.06025	82	58	21	3
1746	I know a guy...	1.3293	0.06505	82	60	17	5
1747	Your may hear better, but I can run faster.	1.3293	0.06733	82	61	15	6
1748	It was easy. I just told Karen it would be slenderizing.	1.3293	0.06505	82	60	17	5
1749	Not sure— I think it’s to prevent my body from licking my face	1.3293	0.06953	82	62	13	7
1750	On a diet again, Brian?	1.3293	0.05770	82	57	23	2
1751	Hi, my name is Ginsburg. I like to take long walks in the park and dissent.	1.3293	0.07166	82	63	11	8
1752	It keeps my ass from licking my face	1.3293	0.06505	82	60	17	5
1753	Preppie.	1.3291	0.06674	79	58	16	5
1754	No, YOU look stupid.	1.3291	0.06674	79	58	16	5
1755	I was just itching to try this.	1.3291	0.06426	79	57	18	4
1756	No, I didn't have the heart to tell him.	1.3291	0.06168	79	56	20	3
1757	Strong prevailing winds today!	1.3291	0.07143	79	60	12	7
1758	Yeah, it looks cooler but I still can't lick everything.	1.3291	0.07143	79	60	12	7
1759	”If you open your mouth does the light go on?	1.3291	0.05899	79	55	22	2
1760	Sometimes it's good when they don't know what they're doing	1.3291	0.06426	79	57	18	4
1761	Wow, it sure is windy today.	1.3291	0.06426	79	57	18	4
1762	I think my look is more fashion-forward.	1.3291	0.06168	79	56	20	3
1763	I refuse to comply with the cone mandate.	1.3291	0.06912	79	59	14	6
1764	The CDC keeps changing its mind, so I just decided to go with this.	1.3291	0.06674	79	58	16	5
1765	My person doesn't wear his over his nose, either.	1.3291	0.06674	79	58	16	5
1766	I bought the reversible kind and I simply adore it.	1.3291	0.05899	79	55	22	2
1767	Bought off the rack, eh?	1.3289	0.06037	76	53	21	2
1768	WOW....It’s really windy outside	1.3289	0.06593	76	55	17	4
1769	This way you keep them happy but lick whatever you want.	1.3289	0.06037	76	53	21	2
1770	I stuck my head out the window on the freeway.	1.3289	0.06037	76	56	17	3
1771	...and they say “G’day” instead of “Hello” it’s so charming, you’d love it...	1.3289	0.06593	76	55	17	4
1772	Bless you Sister. Bless you Father.	1.3289	0.06321	76	54	19	3
1773	Being an "outie" makes you no less a good dog.	1.3289	0.06037	76	53	21	2
1774	When I wear it that way, the echos drive me nutsy	1.3289	0.06854	76	56	15	5
1775	But isn’t shame itself a human construct?	1.3289	0.07105	76	57	13	6
1776	It’s called street style.	1.3289	0.06593	76	55	17	4
1777	When you need to cross the road just flip it backwards.	1.3289	0.06321	76	54	19	3
1778	Its a new fashion statement, like wearing your baseball cap backwards!	1.3288	0.07048	73	54	14	5
1779	I have my human better trained	1.3288	0.07569	73	56	10	7
1780	Long story, short; I went to Buddy's birthday bash and woke up wearing this lampshade.	1.3288	0.07048	73	54	14	5
1781	This feels less punitive.	1.3288	0.07048	73	54	14	5
1782	So I stuck my head out of the car window ...	1.3288	0.06773	73	53	16	4
1783	Mine's an actual collar.	1.3288	0.06773	73	53	16	4
1784	I've always been an avant-guard dog.	1.3286	0.07258	70	52	13	5
1785	Bark less, wag more, and Voila!	1.3286	0.06817	70	53	12	5
1786	They know. But they also know I'm too fat to reach my balls anyway.	1.3286	0.06967	70	51	15	4
1787	Some people just shouldn’t have a dog	1.3286	0.07808	70	54	9	7
1788	Lagerfeld is fine but the Vermeer gives me a little more freedom	1.3284	0.07782	67	51	10	6
1789	Upturned collars are sooo 70’s, Dawg!	1.3284	0.07177	67	49	14	4
1790	Ran into a headwind	1.3276	0.05714	116	87	20	9
1791	Can I lick that for you?	1.3269	0.06025	104	78	18	8
1792	Yes, I did run into a very strong wind. Why do you ask?	1.3267	0.06151	101	76	17	8
1793	Are you going or coming?	1.3267	0.06151	101	76	17	8
1794	Just stick your head out the car window, and there you go.	1.3265	0.05941	98	72	20	6
1795	Mostly the same, just better in the wind.	1.3265	0.05576	98	70	24	4
1796	Really. Your master told you it is fashionable?	1.3265	0.05761	98	71	22	5
1797	You'll have to speak up...I can't hear you.	1.3265	0.06285	98	74	16	8
1798	I wish I could take the credit, but Mike is just a really dumb owner.	1.3265	0.06611	98	76	12	10
1799	You would think my owner would have gotten this right given he works at IKEA.	1.3265	0.05941	98	72	20	6
1800	I'm going the clergy.	1.3265	0.05576	98	70	24	4
1801	Mine was benign	1.3265	0.05941	98	72	20	6
1802	The Vet's wife said, he always gets things' ass-backward' !	1.3265	0.05941	98	72	20	6
1803	I've done my research.	1.3265	0.05576	98	70	24	4
1804	Fox News said that it was more effective this way.	1.3263	0.06068	95	70	19	6
1805	Yep, lobster for dinner again.	1.3263	0.06250	95	71	17	7
1806	It’s a ruff.	1.3263	0.06250	95	71	17	7
1807	Lucky for me, my vet is dyslexic.	1.3263	0.06599	95	73	13	9
1808	Don't be silly -- Elizabethan is classic. I've just always been drawn to Dutch Masters.	1.3263	0.05881	95	69	21	5
1809	It's actually really flattering. Makes your face look thinner."	1.3263	0.05881	95	69	21	5
1810	I’ve been scratching my head trying to figure out how this works	1.3263	0.05881	95	69	21	5
1811	That's so Elizabethan. I've moved forward to the Puritan.	1.3261	0.06393	92	69	16	7
1812	Chewy. And who are you wearing?	1.3261	0.06756	92	71	12	9
1813	Not only is it much more comfortable, it's 88% as effective, according to the latest veterinary medical journals I've been peeing on.	1.3261	0.06393	92	69	16	7
1814	The difference between constraint and fashion is negligible	1.3261	0.06008	92	67	20	5
1815	For two weeks, until my tail stops chasing me	1.3261	0.05151	92	63	28	1
1816	Paris. Where's yours from?	1.3261	0.06008	92	67	20	5
1817	Careful,strong wind.	1.3261	0.06393	92	69	16	7
1818	You're either in, or you're out.	1.3261	0.06203	92	68	18	6
1819	They say that's the most effective way to wear it, but my Facebook group says it's a hoax."	1.3261	0.05806	92	66	22	4
1820	I find it's more aerodynamic and virtually eliminates blindspots	1.3261	0.06393	92	69	16	7
1821	Don't try to look, but there is a giant raccoon that is about to bite you.	1.3258	0.05931	89	64	21	4
1822	I reverse engineered it.	1.3258	0.06737	89	68	13	8
1823	Oh, Haute Couture! Don't you just love fashion week?	1.3258	0.06737	89	68	13	8
1824	I’m not saying you’re wrong, but there is another point of view.	1.3258	0.05931	89	64	21	4
1825	Who says you can’t teach an old dog new tricks?	1.3258	0.05931	89	64	21	4
1826	My vet? Oh, they're new. They do Alternative Medicine.	1.3258	0.06545	89	67	15	7
1827	I found it was ruining my zoom lighting.	1.3258	0.05931	89	64	21	4
1828	I said I like Trump, so they put this on to keep my head out of my ass.	1.3258	0.07106	89	70	9	10
1829	Ha ha! Mine's on my chest, yours must be on your butt!	1.3258	0.06143	89	65	19	5
1830	Dude,How old is your Vet?	1.3258	0.06143	89	65	19	5
1831	I just hope you can accept me for who I am.	1.3258	0.06143	89	65	19	5
1832	Is the pandemic over?	1.3258	0.05931	89	64	21	4
1833	In my progressive obedience school we learned negotiation.	1.3256	0.06500	86	64	16	6
1834	Mine's an Edwardian collar. They were out of Elizabethans.	1.3256	0.06500	86	64	16	6
1835	Anglican?	1.3256	0.06500	86	64	16	6
1836	I find it's more aerodynamic this way.	1.3256	0.06064	86	62	20	4
1837	If you want, I can sniff other dog-butts and describe them to you.	1.3256	0.06908	86	66	12	8
1838	Great party, but it's lampshade not a cone.	1.3256	0.05834	86	61	22	3
1839	Same protection. 30% less shame	1.3256	0.06064	86	62	20	4
1840	Some wind, huh?	1.3256	0.06286	86	63	18	5
1841	It's my constitutional right to wear my cone backwards.	1.3256	0.06064	86	62	20	4
1842	I told you I had a Dutch master.	1.3256	0.06908	86	66	12	8
1843	It’s like it’s not even there!	1.3256	0.06064	86	62	20	4
1844	No, I’m pretty sure the pilgrims wore it THIS way.	1.3256	0.06064	86	62	20	4
1845	I still get confused.....is it “Less Than < or Greater Than <“ ?	1.3256	0.06707	86	65	14	7
1846	I hate to tell you but you put it on inside out and backwards	1.3256	0.06064	86	62	20	4
1847	We'll have to agree to disagree.	1.3253	0.06439	83	61	17	5
1848	I guess it only helps for kissing.	1.3253	0.05965	83	59	21	3
1849	Hey, wanna play priest and nun?	1.3253	0.06880	83	63	13	7
1850	It makes me more aerodynamic.	1.3253	0.06439	83	61	17	5
1851	Yin meets Yang	1.3253	0.06663	83	62	15	6
1852	But your look is so much more slimming.	1.3253	0.06206	83	60	19	4
1853	I like to wear it as a cape sometimes.	1.3253	0.06206	83	60	19	4
1854	Man wasn't that a bender.	1.3253	0.05965	83	59	21	3
1855	It’s still somewhat annoying, but at least I can lick my butt...	1.3253	0.06880	83	63	13	7
1856	I find that this way is better for chasing cats.	1.3253	0.05450	83	57	25	1
1857	Newest E.P.A. regulations. Apparently, now it's all about the aerodynamics.	1.3253	0.06439	83	61	17	5
1858	It’s true that my hearing is less acute, but I can run faster.	1.3253	0.06663	83	62	15	6
1859	It all depends on which end you put on first.	1.3253	0.06439	83	61	17	5
1860	I know but now I can hear behind me.	1.3253	0.07090	83	64	11	8
1861	I lucked out. Dyslexic vet".	1.3253	0.06663	83	62	15	6
1862	They also taught me how to write a sonnet.	1.3253	0.06206	83	60	19	4
1863	I’m with Ruth	1.3253	0.06663	83	62	15	6
1864	But you have to hit the doggie door juuust right.	1.3250	0.06104	80	57	20	3
1865	I'm from Australia.	1.3250	0.06838	80	60	14	6
1866	They can’t neuter my sense of whimsy.	1.3250	0.06358	80	58	18	4
1867	I am following last week's CDC Guidelines.	1.3250	0.06602	80	59	16	5
1868	Hey, a match made in heaven!	1.3250	0.06838	80	60	14	6
1869	Pfizer or Moderna?	1.3250	0.06358	80	58	18	4
1870	It's inside-out day at doggie daycare.	1.3250	0.06481	80	61	13	6
1871	This is what happens if you go to a Trump speech.	1.3250	0.06602	80	59	16	5
1872	It’s called the “cone of speed.”	1.3250	0.06602	80	59	16	5
1873	Didn't you hear, Pilgrim is the new Elizabethan?	1.3250	0.06602	80	59	16	5
1874	Wear it like this at the dog park so you don't get beat up by the other dogs.	1.3250	0.06838	80	60	14	6
1875	if you wear it this way, it smooths out all your wrinkles	1.3250	0.06602	80	59	16	5
1876	It’s the latest from Apple; the iCone 4	1.3250	0.06602	80	59	16	5
1877	Cone of shame? Oh no Harold, this is the cone of fame!	1.3250	0.06838	80	60	14	6
1878	My sex therapist says it's healthy.	1.3247	0.06778	77	57	15	5
1879	Popped collars are very 2001, Mark.	1.3247	0.06253	77	55	19	3
1880	How do you sniff crotch in that thing?	1.3247	0.06521	77	56	17	4
1881	Are you as humiliated as I am right now?	1.3247	0.06521	77	56	17	4
1882	It seems you have the female adaptor, and I have the male!	1.3247	0.06253	77	55	19	3
1883	Mine is obviously wholly cosmetic.	1.3247	0.06253	77	55	19	3
1884	'I can't believe we had it backwards all this time!'	1.3247	0.06778	77	57	15	5
1885	I have a note from my vet.	1.3247	0.06778	77	57	15	5
1886	Left-handed vet.	1.3247	0.06778	77	57	15	5
1887	I don't think you actually know what 'reverse doggy style' means.	1.3247	0.06521	77	56	17	4
1888	I bet your humans wear their masks wrong too.	1.3247	0.05974	77	54	21	2
1889	Sorry I'm late, the wind was nuts!	1.3243	0.07227	74	56	12	6
1890	No, Rex. Upwind.	1.3243	0.06695	74	54	16	4
1891	I'm telling you - flip it around and you're a super hero!	1.3243	0.06966	74	55	14	5
1892	It's simple--You're an introvert and I'm an extrovert.	1.3243	0.06966	74	55	14	5
1893	I'll scratch your wound if you'll lick my butt.	1.3243	0.06966	74	55	14	5
1894	Tell your doctor that those Victorian collars are so passé, the Edwardian look is now all the rage.	1.3243	0.06966	74	55	14	5
1895	Due to the vet's error, Bigglesworth, I can still lick my stitches AND run like the wind!	1.3243	0.06966	74	55	14	5
1896	So, are you in or out?	1.3243	0.06966	74	55	14	5
1897	My Libertarian owner says the decision to bite should be mine.	1.3243	0.06695	74	54	16	4
1898	Can you hear me better?	1.3243	0.06117	74	52	20	2
1899	If you think this is bad, I'll show you where he puts my collar	1.3243	0.06966	74	55	14	5
1900	That's not how you wear a mask	1.3243	0.06966	74	55	14	5
1901	Only problem with wearing the collar this way is the ladies assume you’re celibate	1.3243	0.06966	74	55	14	5
1902	I've abandoned my Elizabethan fashion vibe for something more Quaker.	1.3239	0.07170	71	53	13	5
1903	I had my neck done	1.3239	0.06585	71	51	17	3
1904	Apparently, if you bend it this way you get a better signal.	1.3239	0.06884	71	52	15	4
1905	You can get it online, under "reversibles."	1.3239	0.06884	71	52	15	4
1906	At least we can still scratch and sniff our butts.	1.3239	0.07445	71	54	11	6
1907	This one is for south of the equator."	1.3239	0.07170	71	53	13	5
1908	My top speed went up five miles per hour.	1.3239	0.06585	71	51	17	3
1909	According to DOGUE, it’s the latest trend.	1.3239	0.06585	71	51	17	3
1910	I flicked the vet a $20...	1.3238	0.05661	105	77	22	6
1911	No - It's a lampshade I tried to jump through.	1.3235	0.05772	102	75	21	6
1912	As if getting fixed wasn't humiliating enough.	1.3235	0.07087	68	50	14	4
1913	No . . . . I can't honestly say that I ever look back.	1.3235	0.06438	68	48	18	2
1914	You should see my owner's umbrella.	1.3235	0.06770	68	49	16	3
1915	High waisted pants are in the spring collection, too.	1.3235	0.06770	68	49	16	3
1916	I got dressed in the dark.	1.3235	0.05425	102	73	25	4
1917	It's just... It would be a shame if there was a squirrel behind you and you couldn't see it, is all I'm saying. You're good, bro.	1.3235	0.05425	102	73	25	4
1918	I'm religiously avoiding my genitals, and you?	1.3232	0.06230	99	75	16	8
1919	I needed help licking the licking habit.	1.3232	0.05712	99	72	22	5
1920	Sticking your head out the window has an inverse reaction.	1.3232	0.05621	99	74	19	6
1921	Oh, didn’t I see you in “The Handmaiden’s Tail?	1.3232	0.06062	99	74	18	7
1922	I couldn't stand my breath!	1.3231	0.07630	65	49	11	5
1923	My therapist has turned my whole life around!	1.3229	0.05638	96	69	23	4
1924	It’s fashion backward.	1.3229	0.06194	96	72	17	7
1925	They’ said it made my bark too loud.	1.3229	0.05829	96	70	21	5
1926	Oh, I don't have stitches – I humped a lamp.	1.3229	0.06538	96	74	13	9
1927	As RBG, I'm a lock for Best in Show.	1.3229	0.06369	96	73	15	8
1928	They gave me the sports model	1.3229	0.05638	96	69	23	4
1929	I don't really need it, but it's a good conversation piece.	1.3229	0.05638	96	69	23	4
1930	No, I think I’m greater than and you’re less than.	1.3229	0.06194	96	72	17	7
1931	I went for a ride in the car	1.3229	0.06014	96	71	19	6
1932	Oh, this old thing?	1.3226	0.06146	93	69	18	6
1933	You look foolish.	1.3226	0.06334	93	70	16	7
1934	Just stand in front of a fan. It worked for me.	1.3226	0.05953	93	68	20	5
1935	I like pushing the envelope.	1.3226	0.05753	93	67	22	4
1936	It stops me from putting my foot in my mouth.	1.3222	0.06085	90	66	19	5
1937	Ain't nobody going to tell me how to wear a cone!	1.3222	0.05876	90	65	21	4
1938	No! Yours is A lampshade!	1.3222	0.06085	90	66	19	5
1939	It's so much quieter....	1.3222	0.05659	90	64	23	3
1940	My owner had the same problem with her Covid mask.	1.3222	0.06286	90	67	17	6
1941	It’s reversible but you have to find a narrow door and get a running start	1.3222	0.06085	90	66	19	5
1942	Oh Fido, you have last year's model!	1.3222	0.05876	90	65	21	4
1943	You have got to try one of their seminars. It completely turned my life around.	1.3222	0.06085	90	66	19	5
1944	It is really windy outside.	1.3222	0.06482	90	68	15	7
1945	I have a medical exemption!	1.3222	0.06482	90	68	15	7
1946	Man! What I would give for a bark amplifier like yours!	1.3222	0.05876	90	65	21	4
1947	You get a lot less sympathy, but the aerodynamics are amazing!	1.3222	0.06482	90	68	15	7
1948	Sure, that gives you better acoustics, but this way is more aerodynamic	1.3222	0.06482	90	68	15	7
1949	My owner is is an aerodynamicist	1.3222	0.06672	90	69	13	8
1950	This new model did great in the wind-tunnel!	1.3222	0.06286	90	67	17	6
1951	I just got a little crazy and put a lampshade on my head.	1.3218	0.06838	87	67	12	8
1952	Sure, less wind resistance, but I still can't lick my ass.	1.3218	0.06640	87	66	14	7
1953	Nope, I just destroyed a lamp.	1.3218	0.06640	87	66	14	7
1954	Don't be so glum. I can pretend you're Elizabeth and I'm Sir Walter Raleigh in these outfits.	1.3218	0.06640	87	66	14	7
1955	Does this cone make my neck look long?	1.3218	0.06224	87	64	18	5
1956	Yup, stuck my head out the window, and voila!	1.3218	0.05779	87	62	22	3
1957	You're wearing your lampshade wrong.	1.3218	0.06436	87	65	16	6
1958	I had to change. The cone was amplifying my barking and I nearly went deaf.	1.3218	0.06224	87	64	18	5
1959	You’re not fooling anybody with that cone over...	1.3218	0.05779	87	62	22	3
1960	Are you auditioning for Handmaid’s Tale too?”	1.3218	0.06436	87	65	16	6
1961	You got yours at the vet's. Mine came from a party.	1.3218	0.06224	87	64	18	5
1962	I'm forward thinking, my friend. Never look back.	1.3218	0.06224	87	64	18	5
1963	If you flip it this way you kind of look like a super hero.	1.3218	0.06640	87	66	14	7
1964	I did not recognize you from the side.	1.3218	0.06838	87	67	12	8
1965	You went to the vet. I went to the convent.	1.3218	0.06224	87	64	18	5
1966	My new girlfriend wanted mine reversed .	1.3218	0.06436	87	65	16	6
1967	I wear mine in honor of RBG.	1.3214	0.06595	84	63	15	6
1968	Still into the Handmaid's tale I see.	1.3214	0.06595	84	63	15	6
1969	I just said, "Give me something less Elizabethan, give me something Star Wars!"	1.3214	0.06144	84	61	19	4
1970	I wasn't going to just roll over and let them trample all over my personal freedom.	1.3214	0.06595	84	63	15	6
1971	Yeah, it's not surprising you didn't think about it, but you can totally ask for it to be put on this way instead.	1.3214	0.06144	84	61	19	4
1972	Wanna see it again?	1.3214	0.06595	84	63	15	6
1973	I've decided to put it behind me.	1.3214	0.05906	84	60	21	3
1974	Cone or funnel, were all the same underneath	1.3214	0.06595	84	63	15	6
1975	If it's any consolation, my owner is clueless.	1.3214	0.06144	84	61	19	4
1976	I had to make some adjustments...I wasn’t picking up HBO.	1.3214	0.05906	84	60	21	3
1977	I was climbing a lamp. How'd you get yours?	1.3214	0.06144	84	61	19	4
1978	You don't get the echo if you wear it like this.	1.3214	0.06595	84	63	15	6
1979	Collar - it's the new cone.	1.3214	0.06374	84	62	17	5
1980	I saw it on “Bridgerton.”	1.3214	0.06809	84	64	13	7
1981	It's a 'lifestyle collar,' not a cone.	1.3214	0.05658	84	59	23	2
1982	And it just hit me: I can be grounded AND aerodynamic!	1.3214	0.06144	84	61	19	4
1983	So basically you can run away from problems, you just have to run really fast	1.3211	0.05512	109	80	23	6
1984	It's purely an aerodynamic decision.	1.3210	0.06533	81	60	16	5
1985	It's the difference between a utility patent and a design patent.	1.3210	0.06292	81	59	18	4
1986	Oh sweetie, that is so last year’s look.	1.3210	0.06533	81	60	16	5
1987	It beats going through the doggie door backwards.	1.3210	0.06533	81	60	16	5
1988	You do you, Curt.	1.3210	0.06292	81	59	18	4
1989	Because your a female and I'm a male, that's why.	1.3210	0.06765	81	61	14	6
1990	Yeah, I’m still a little hungover too.	1.3210	0.06533	81	60	16	5
1991	I'm going through an Elizabethan phase.	1.3210	0.06989	81	62	12	7
1992	If your bark is worse than your bite, you wear it my way. If your bite is worse than your bark, you wear it your way.	1.3210	0.06042	81	58	20	3
1993	When I wear it this way, it hides my extra COVID weight.	1.3210	0.06765	81	61	14	6
1994	You have to know the right people.	1.3210	0.05507	81	56	24	1
1995	I signed up for a clinical trial, but they may have given me a placebo"	1.3210	0.06533	81	60	16	5
1996	Get with it Man, It is 2021.	1.3210	0.06533	81	60	16	5
1997	So, you run fast enough...	1.3210	0.06533	81	60	16	5
1998	I had my attorney call HR and they accommodated right away.	1.3210	0.06765	81	61	14	6
1999	This way it makes my neck look longer.	1.3210	0.06292	81	59	18	4
2000	I'm honoring Ruth Bader Ginsburg.	1.3210	0.06533	81	60	16	5
2001	I’m a Republican. I have no cone of shame.	1.3210	0.06989	81	62	12	7
2002	That was some party last night, huh?	1.3210	0.06533	81	60	16	5
2003	Undogmatic	1.3210	0.06533	81	60	16	5
2004	It's how they're wearing them in Paris.	1.3205	0.06187	78	56	19	3
2005	My human won't wear a mask either	1.3205	0.07183	78	60	11	7
2006	That's your problem-you're too focused on what's in front of you.	1.3205	0.07411	78	61	9	8
2007	I'm an obedience school dropout.	1.3205	0.05911	78	55	21	2
2008	I figured if I gotta wear this thing a long time I'm better off going aerodynamic.	1.3205	0.06947	78	59	13	6
2009	I still can’t reach it	1.3205	0.06703	78	58	15	5
2010	Nah... I just picked this up off a lamp in the bedroom.	1.3205	0.06947	78	59	13	6
2011	I’m living in a convent now.	1.3205	0.06703	78	58	15	5
2012	All the cool kids wear their caps backwards.	1.3205	0.06450	78	57	17	4
2013	My master is a priest. What the heck does yours do?	1.3205	0.06947	78	59	13	6
2014	That's how fast I can run.	1.3205	0.07183	78	60	11	7
2015	Shoulder wound. How about you?	1.3205	0.06703	78	58	15	5
2016	Wear it like you cone it!	1.3205	0.05911	78	55	21	2
2017	I’m the placebo dog.	1.3205	0.06450	78	57	17	4
2018	Oh, I don't know...it gives you a certain je ne c'est quoi.	1.3205	0.07183	78	60	11	7
2019	Yeah, I know, but my master's an aeronautical engineer.	1.3205	0.06450	78	57	17	4
2020	Dyslexic owners. You should see my leash.	1.3205	0.06703	78	58	15	5
2021	Which order do you belong to?	1.3205	0.06450	78	57	17	4
2022	Most dogs are less than. I am greater than.	1.3205	0.06450	78	57	17	4
2023	Yeah, but this way is much safer when you stick your head out the car window!	1.3205	0.05911	78	55	21	2
2024	Wait, what?	1.3205	0.05911	78	60	13	5
2025	I honestly feel faster	1.3205	0.06450	78	57	17	4
2026	Barked up the wrong tree?” “It was a lamp	1.3205	0.06450	78	57	17	4
2027	Yes, my master voted for Trump, why do you ask?	1.3200	0.07143	75	57	12	6
2028	I asked for sun. I see you asked for shade.	1.3200	0.05745	75	52	22	1
2029	Well, yes I am trans. How'd you know?	1.3200	0.06886	75	56	14	5
2030	Yours is an inny, mine is an outie.	1.3200	0.07143	75	57	12	6
2031	Chick’s dig it.	1.3200	0.07143	75	57	12	6
2032	I have had it with social distancing.	1.3200	0.07143	75	57	12	6
2033	Just don't look up if it starts to rain.	1.3200	0.06010	100	75	18	7
2034	So I told them, "Mange has a 99.97% survival rate! It's a free country; I can wear the cone however I damn please!"	1.3200	0.06620	75	55	16	4
2035	It's a retro look.	1.3200	0.06342	75	54	18	3
2036	“I’m going to have a neck like a giraffe, but toilet water has never tasted sweeter!"	1.3200	0.07143	75	57	12	6
2037	I see you're more of an introvert. Not me! I'm 100% extrovert	1.3200	0.06620	75	55	16	4
2038	You are doing it for the vet. I am doing it for myself.	1.3200	0.06342	75	54	18	3
2039	It's droolproof and aerodynamic.	1.3196	0.06311	97	74	15	8
2040	It's made by Tesla.	1.3196	0.06139	97	73	17	7
2041	This way, you can still reach ‘em.	1.3196	0.05961	97	72	19	6
2042	Don't laugh, my vet is dyslexic!	1.3196	0.05961	97	72	19	6
2043	Fortunately,my owner doesn’t follow directions!	1.3196	0.05778	97	71	21	5
2044	What’d you do?	1.3196	0.06139	97	73	17	7
2045	Doggy door	1.3194	0.06802	72	53	15	4
2046	It still covers my ears but I can see better.	1.3194	0.06802	72	53	15	4
2047	My owner doesn’t know whether I’m coming or going:	1.3194	0.06200	72	51	19	2
2048	It doesn't make a huge practical difference, but it looks a lot more dignified.	1.3194	0.06802	72	53	15	4
2049	I can still lick your balls...	1.3194	0.07355	72	55	11	6
2050	It's changed my entire perspective on the world.	1.3191	0.05498	94	67	24	3
2051	My owner finds directions difficult.	1.3191	0.06090	94	70	18	6
2052	Breast reduction. You?	1.3191	0.06455	94	72	14	8
2053	I still can't lick anything, but at least it lets me get a good sniff.	1.3191	0.06090	94	70	18	6
2054	I was drunk last night. What is your excuse?	1.3191	0.05899	94	69	20	5
2055	Do your research, Phil. Several YouTube videos suggest the ‘inverse cone’ provides superior protection.	1.3191	0.05899	94	69	20	5
2056	My vet wasn't cum laud .	1.3188	0.07297	69	52	12	5
2057	That was some party!	1.3187	0.05822	91	66	21	4
2058	You gotta learn to think outside the cone.	1.3187	0.06420	91	69	15	7
2059	No operation,this is my clerical collar	1.3187	0.05822	91	66	21	4
2060	I find it’s more aerodynamic.	1.3187	0.05608	91	65	23	3
2061	Does my cone make me look fat?	1.3187	0.06227	91	68	17	6
2062	Go ahead. I'm listening.	1.3187	0.06420	91	69	15	7
2063	The chafing on the front legs is excruciating, but the ladies love the look.	1.3187	0.06608	91	70	13	8
2064	Facemasks are so 2020	1.3187	0.05822	91	66	21	4
2065	It doesn't infringe on my rights when I wear it this way.	1.3187	0.05822	91	66	21	4
2066	Hey! You don’t have to bark so loud!	1.3187	0.06227	91	68	17	6
2067	...and a way lower drag coefficient...	1.3187	0.06227	91	68	17	6
2068	... what if we put our heads together?	1.3187	0.05386	91	64	25	2
2069	Look I’m a rocket	1.3187	0.06420	91	69	15	7
2070	The humans wear one too, but it goes over their nose. They look so much sillier.	1.3187	0.06967	91	72	9	10
2071	My human is an anti-masker.	1.3182	0.06373	88	66	16	6
2072	I made sure that she had a couple of glasses of wine before putting it on me.	1.3182	0.05949	88	64	20	4
2073	It's a matter of form over function	1.3182	0.06373	88	66	16	6
2074	I could scratch your nose if you would scratch my back.	1.3182	0.05949	88	64	20	4
2075	Sure, it's more comfortable. But when I try to rollover, I roll in circles.	1.3182	0.06373	88	66	16	6
2076	Just pop your head out the window while on the freeway...problem solved!	1.3182	0.06373	88	66	16	6
2077	Wait till you see what I can do with a leash!	1.3182	0.05949	88	64	20	4
2078	Yeah, but it's a lot more aerodynamic.	1.3182	0.06574	88	67	14	7
2079	I once ate through the bottom of my dish, too.	1.3182	0.06882	66	48	15	3
2080	We just got back from Paris.	1.3182	0.06882	66	48	15	3
2081	What do you mean my mask is on wrong!	1.3182	0.06770	88	68	12	8
2082	I'm woke now!	1.3182	0.05949	88	64	20	4
2083	Oh dude,this is so much easier,especially hanging out the window on a ride	1.3182	0.06373	88	66	16	6
2084	Do you think it goes the other way south of the equator?	1.3182	0.06373	88	66	16	6
2085	I’m going as Elizabeth I	1.3182	0.06770	88	68	12	8
2086	How do you wear your mask?	1.3182	0.06770	88	68	12	8
2087	Faster, Sleeker, Trend Setter	1.3182	0.06164	88	65	18	5
2088	You've got an itch that only I can scratch.	1.3178	0.05727	107	80	20	7
2089	You complete me.	1.3176	0.06528	85	64	15	6
2090	Let me guess, Jewish owner?	1.3176	0.06083	85	62	19	4
2091	One of us has it on backwards.	1.3176	0.06083	85	62	19	4
2092	It was easy. Just run into the wind and voila!	1.3176	0.06739	85	65	13	7
2093	We were made for each other.	1.3176	0.06083	85	62	19	4
2094	I got mine from the Handmaid’s tale.	1.3176	0.06083	85	62	19	4
2095	Your owners are idiots.	1.3176	0.06528	85	64	15	6
2096	You wonder how... See that hole in fence. Run at it full steam.	1.3176	0.06528	85	64	15	6
2097	Would you believe that’s not the first Flying Nun bit I’ve heard this week?	1.3176	0.06309	85	63	17	5
2098	No, really. It's a whole new perspective, it changed my life!	1.3176	0.06083	85	62	19	4
2099	I love outies.	1.3176	0.06083	85	62	19	4
2100	The government can’t take away my freedom!! It’s my right to wear my cone anyway I want.	1.3176	0.06944	85	66	11	8
2101	It shaved precious seconds off my walk.	1.3176	0.06528	85	64	15	6
2102	Sure, you get better reception, but I can still scratch my ears.	1.3176	0.06528	85	64	15	6
2103	Bummer Dude.	1.3176	0.05849	85	61	21	3
2104	Let me guess, your humans an anti-masker.	1.3176	0.06309	85	63	17	5
2105	You must be European.	1.3176	0.05849	85	61	21	3
2106	I still can't lick my junk but my peripheral vision is great.	1.3175	0.07781	63	48	10	5
2107	I know - you don't want to see where they put the muzzle.	1.3175	0.07093	63	46	14	3
2108	You’re living in an echo chamber, man.	1.3175	0.06722	63	45	16	2
2109	And in exchange, I poop where they prefer.	1.3173	0.05511	104	76	23	5
2110	Talking about a perfect fit, I thing we were definitely meant for each other.	1.3173	0.05840	104	78	19	7
2111	Love the lampshade look!	1.3173	0.05511	104	76	23	5
2112	Blindly obedient to the veterinary elite, I see.	1.3171	0.06693	82	62	14	6
2113	If you invert the cone of shame, it becomes the cone of glory.	1.3171	0.06693	82	62	14	6
2114	Ok forget it. Let's start from scratch.	1.3171	0.06227	82	60	18	4
2115	I had a colonoscopy: Why do you ask?	1.3171	0.06227	82	60	18	4
2116	I think you scratching my back if I lick your testicles is a little one-sided.	1.3171	0.06227	82	60	18	4
2117	Why are you shouting at me.	1.3171	0.06464	82	61	16	5
2118	Before he became a Vet used to be a pastor. It's hard for him to break old habits.	1.3171	0.05981	82	59	20	3
2119	Doug, I have reached enlightenment.	1.3171	0.06693	82	62	14	6
2120	We can't go on like this with such radically different perspectives.	1.3171	0.06227	82	60	18	4
2121	Mom likes me best.	1.3171	0.06227	82	60	18	4
2122	Mine was a reversal.	1.3171	0.06693	82	62	14	6
2123	My people get everything ass-backwards.	1.3171	0.06227	82	60	18	4
2124	I'll give you my Vet's name and number.	1.3171	0.06464	82	61	16	5
2125	Oh, yeah. You can learn just about anything on YouTube.	1.3171	0.06693	82	62	14	6
2126	Go ahead, Karen. Bite me.	1.3171	0.05981	82	59	20	3
2127	Either way, we're screwed.	1.3168	0.05617	101	74	22	5
2128	It really cuts down on the wind resistance...	1.3165	0.06871	79	60	13	6
2129	It's all the rage with French Bulldogs.	1.3165	0.06121	79	57	19	3
2130	My bark doesn't need attenuation	1.3165	0.06381	79	58	17	4
2131	No. They take me to a cartoonist.	1.3165	0.06871	79	60	13	6
2132	Don't worry about it. I'm vaccinated.	1.3165	0.06630	79	59	15	5
2133	Mine's more fashion than function.	1.3165	0.06381	79	58	17	4
2134	I find the reception much better this way.	1.3165	0.06381	79	58	17	4
2135	Let's play 'you 'scratch my back and I'll scratch yours'.	1.3165	0.06381	79	58	17	4
2136	I just stuck my head out the window on the highway	1.3165	0.04782	79	60	16	3
2137	They call it a collar, but I call it a ruff.	1.3165	0.06381	79	58	17	4
2138	And then the plastic surgeon asked do you want an innie or an outie.	1.3165	0.06121	79	57	19	3
2139	I was looking out the screen door into the back yard and then, SQUIRREL!	1.3165	0.06630	79	59	15	5
2140	I joined the clergy.	1.3165	0.06630	79	59	15	5
2141	See I told you. Business in the front, party in the back.	1.3165	0.06381	79	58	17	4
2142	My therapist is trying reverse psychology on me.	1.3165	0.06381	79	58	17	4
2143	My human isn't the brightest lamp in the room.	1.3163	0.05909	98	73	19	6
2144	The mirror confused me.	1.3163	0.06583	98	77	11	10
2145	Your place or mine?	1.3163	0.06085	98	74	17	7
2146	Actually it's a clerical collar.	1.3163	0.05909	98	73	19	6
2147	See? It's totally reversible.	1.3163	0.05909	98	73	19	6
2148	What are you in for?	1.3162	0.05100	117	85	27	5
2149	It's a Dog's Wife or Lampshades of Grey.	1.3158	0.07061	76	58	12	6
2150	Ears docked, hmmm. Me? Spade.	1.3158	0.05847	95	70	20	5
2151	How about that windstorm last night?"	1.3158	0.06546	76	56	16	4
2152	So you're saying, everyone just assumes I'm an asshole because my collar is turned up?	1.3158	0.05847	95	70	20	5
2153	It just seems more slimming this way.	1.3158	0.05986	76	54	20	2
2154	Do you think this makes me look thinner?	1.3158	0.06272	76	55	18	3
2155	This way is much better. The barking was driving me crazy.	1.3158	0.06272	76	55	18	3
2156	I got my head stuck in a lampshade... What's your excuse?	1.3158	0.07061	76	58	12	6
2157	Someone hasn’t been watching Queer Eye!	1.3158	0.06035	95	71	18	6
2158	After my recovery, I entered the clergy.	1.3158	0.06035	95	71	18	6
2159	I think my owner is collar blind.	1.3158	0.06546	76	56	16	4
2160	Lamp shade.	1.3158	0.07061	76	58	12	6
2161	Now there's no echo. echo. echo.	1.3158	0.06218	95	72	16	7
2162	We never read the directions.	1.3158	0.06546	76	56	16	4
2163	Now their harsh words just roll off my back!	1.3158	0.05685	76	53	22	1
2164	Have you always been an introvert?	1.3158	0.05685	76	55	19	2
2165	I know but this is their idea of getting us to isolate.	1.3158	0.06546	76	56	16	4
2166	No, you’re wearing it wrong, it goes over your nose.	1.3158	0.06808	76	57	14	5
2167	It’s a variant.	1.3158	0.05986	76	54	20	2
2168	Say again?	1.3158	0.06808	76	57	14	5
2169	How many bars do you get?	1.3152	0.06169	92	69	17	6
2170	It's the difference between being a fashion follower and a fashion influencer.	1.3152	0.06359	92	70	15	7
2171	So it's true....opposites attract.	1.3152	0.06169	92	69	17	6
2172	I didn’t have surgery. I just like the Puritan aesthetic.	1.3152	0.06169	92	69	17	6
2173	I still can't lick what I want to lick	1.3152	0.05972	92	68	19	5
2174	This should explain why my owners had so many kids.	1.3152	0.06359	92	70	15	7
2175	Nope! Not gonna do it.	1.3152	0.06169	92	69	17	6
2176	You just have to run really, really fast!	1.3152	0.06359	92	70	15	7
2177	It's really streamlined,I can run like the wind!	1.3152	0.05664	92	69	18	5
2178	There’s a fine line between the cone of shame and the cone of distinction.	1.3152	0.05972	92	68	19	5
2179	I think my owner has a learning disability?	1.3152	0.05558	92	66	23	3
2180	Why? What exactly were you supposed to stop licking?	1.3152	0.06169	92	69	17	6
2181	Smell a butt and then tell me, it’s not better this way	1.3152	0.06359	92	70	15	7
2182	No, YOU'RE wearing it all wrong.	1.3151	0.06433	73	53	17	3
2183	I know it’s on backwards, my human is dyslexic.	1.3151	0.07000	73	55	13	5
2184	I'm on probation.	1.3151	0.06433	73	53	17	3
2185	I didn’t know neutering could be reversed either!	1.3151	0.06433	73	53	17	3
2186	What do ya mean speak I'm talking too loud? I can barely hear YOU.	1.3151	0.06723	73	54	15	4
2187	Did I tell you I joined a fraternity in boarding school?	1.3151	0.06433	73	53	17	3
2188	I just can’t breath with it over my nose like that.	1.3151	0.07000	73	55	13	5
2189	All the purebreds are doing it	1.3151	0.07000	73	55	13	5
2190	Works for me.	1.3151	0.06130	73	52	19	2
2191	Who are you to judge?	1.3151	0.06723	73	54	15	4
2192	I like a more streamlined humiliation...	1.3151	0.06433	73	53	17	3
2193	Yes, I hear you loud and clear."	1.3151	0.07000	73	55	13	5
2194	this is ironic, really, considering I’m the introvert and you’re the extrovert	1.3151	0.06433	73	53	17	3
2195	I still can't lick anything important, but it's aerodynamic.	1.3151	0.06723	73	54	15	4
2196	I just got tired of the echo chamber.	1.3151	0.07000	73	55	13	5
2197	And now when the mail comes I go KRAB KRAB KRAB KRAB!	1.3151	0.06723	73	54	15	4
2198	I’ve learned so much on TikTok.	1.3148	0.05681	108	81	20	7
2199	No, really, on you it works.	1.3146	0.05892	89	65	20	4
2200	The vet said it was nothing to be ashamed of.	1.3146	0.06311	89	67	16	6
2201	Why do you always get everything backwards?	1.3146	0.06105	89	66	18	5
2202	You should have asked for the reversible model	1.3146	0.05892	89	65	20	4
2203	Humiliating either way, really.	1.3146	0.07074	89	71	8	10
2204	What can I say, it was a hell of a party	1.3146	0.06311	89	67	16	6
2205	Is your master one of those who wears his mask on his chin?	1.3146	0.06311	89	67	16	6
2206	This way I can still go through the doggy door.	1.3146	0.06311	89	67	16	6
2207	Let me fix your collar...	1.3146	0.06311	89	67	16	6
2208	This reduces drag and increases my average speed by two miles per hour.	1.3146	0.05892	89	65	20	4
2209	I’m torn between believing that they’re either modern trusting parents, or plain dumb”	1.3146	0.06311	89	67	16	6
2210	... and because she's dyslexic.	1.3143	0.06607	70	51	16	3
2211	They call it the cone of self-actualization!	1.3143	0.06914	70	52	14	4
2212	Say 5 "hail mary's" and don't try to lick your butt.	1.3143	0.06914	70	52	14	4
2213	I talked them into making me look like a pilgrim.	1.3143	0.06119	70	52	15	3
2214	Cone of shame? Or cone of FAME?	1.3143	0.06607	70	51	16	3
2215	Windstorm.	1.3143	0.06914	70	52	14	4
2216	You say Handmaid's Tale. I say Flying Nun.	1.3143	0.05631	105	78	21	6
2217	Oh,those high collars went out decades ago!	1.3143	0.06914	70	52	14	4
2218	It’s all about knowing how to accessorize.	1.3143	0.06607	70	51	16	3
2219	It’s nothing to be ashamed of, but you’re wearing it backwards.	1.3143	0.06607	70	51	16	3
2220	Surgery? No, the kennel party got a little out of hand.	1.3140	0.06024	86	63	19	4
2221	That was some party last night.	1.3140	0.05792	86	62	21	3
2222	It feels better this way; you can still see where you're going.	1.3140	0.05792	86	62	21	3
2223	...but your bark must be epic!	1.3140	0.06247	86	64	17	5
2224	But if your priority is aerodynamics...	1.3140	0.06024	86	63	19	4
2225	I'd explain the geometry, but it would kill the fun.	1.3140	0.06462	86	65	15	6
2226	I'm telling you! It will have THEM in stitches.	1.3140	0.06024	86	63	19	4
2227	So you're still going to that vet in Gilead?	1.3140	0.06024	86	63	19	4
2228	I know. But it tested better in a wind tunnel.	1.3140	0.06024	86	63	19	4
2229	You just wait until the car is on the freeway, and pop your head out the window.	1.3140	0.06670	86	66	13	7
2230	What can I say, I’m the life of the party.	1.3140	0.06462	86	65	15	6
2231	They were gale force winds.	1.3140	0.05551	86	61	23	2
2232	I'm from France	1.3140	0.06462	86	65	15	6
2233	I’m telling you Rex, I’ve really turned things around!	1.3140	0.06024	86	63	19	4
2234	Well it's just not how i interpret Margaret Atwood.	1.3140	0.06670	86	66	13	7
2235	It’s a TikTok thing.	1.3140	0.05909	86	65	16	5
2236	I've always been a fashion rebel.	1.3137	0.05393	102	74	24	4
2237	It’s simple, you’re an innie and I’m an outie	1.3137	0.06228	102	79	14	9
2238	My vet is very progressive.	1.3137	0.05393	102	74	24	4
2239	I've done my own internet research on the subject.	1.3137	0.05908	102	77	18	7
2240	Seriously. You watch. They are going to ruin this Kodak moment with a caption.	1.3134	0.06627	67	51	12	4
2241	My owner got this model at Ikea.	1.3134	0.07431	67	51	11	5
2242	Well, yes, I do remember the Coneheads from Saturday Night Live!	1.3133	0.06164	83	61	18	4
2243	It's all about changing your perspective.	1.3133	0.05920	83	60	20	3
2244	I don’t know about you but I fell for: “Let’s go get a cone.”	1.3133	0.06841	83	64	12	7
2245	Fashion Week is my life.	1.3133	0.05667	83	59	22	2
2246	Sooo... you're a female.	1.3133	0.06841	83	64	12	7
2247	Try reversing your cone, it could give you a new leash on life.	1.3133	0.06164	83	61	18	4
2248	My owner doesn't know sh_t.	1.3133	0.06623	83	63	14	6
2249	We can still Copulate, but Necking might be hard.	1.3133	0.06623	83	63	14	6
2250	What did you say?	1.3133	0.06623	83	63	14	6
2251	What can I say? My human's an anti-masker through and through.	1.3133	0.06841	83	64	12	7
2252	I guess your owner doesn't know too much about aerodynamics. That must be a real drag.	1.3133	0.06623	83	63	14	6
2253	I've been accused of backbiting.	1.3133	0.06164	83	61	18	4
2254	Well, you know ... in honor of RBG.	1.3133	0.06397	83	62	16	5
2255	I prefer the ecumenical version."	1.3133	0.06623	83	63	14	6
2256	They said to wear a collar, they didn’t say it had to cover your nose and mouth.	1.3133	0.06841	83	64	12	7
2257	Easy. You just face into the wind.	1.3133	0.06397	83	62	16	5
2258	So what do you think of my RBG collar?	1.3133	0.06623	83	63	14	6
2259	Mine's an idiot too, but a useful idiot.	1.3133	0.06397	83	62	16	5
2260	I don’t think either of us is wearing this Covid mask properly.	1.3133	0.06164	83	61	18	4
2261	Trust me, it makes you more aero-dognamic	1.3133	0.06397	83	62	16	5
2262	Trust me. Once you've seen what they've done, you'll want to keep wearing it too.	1.3133	0.06164	83	61	18	4
2263	I'm trying something new. Think they'll notice?	1.3133	0.06397	83	62	16	5
2264	The aerodynamics are much better this way. I’ve caught three squirrels so far.	1.3133	0.06397	83	62	16	5
2265	I don't think 'you scratch my back, I lick your testicles', is the expression.	1.3131	0.06200	99	76	15	8
2266	My vet believes in freedom not restriction.	1.3131	0.06031	99	75	17	7
2267	It's the cone of no shame — I'll sniff literally anything.	1.3131	0.05679	99	73	21	5
2268	Yeah, well I'll take my peripheral vision freedoms over the one percent chance that I'll remove my own stitches, any day.	1.3131	0.05858	99	74	19	6
2269	To the vet? No, my owner took me to IKEA!	1.3131	0.05495	99	72	23	4
2270	It's the latest style. All the French Poodles love it.	1.3125	0.06057	80	60	16	4
2271	I put it on myself.	1.3125	0.05602	96	70	22	4
2272	My human isn't great with gadgets.	1.3125	0.06337	96	74	14	8
2273	With this aerodynamic design I’ve cut seconds off chasing my tail	1.3125	0.06313	80	59	17	4
2274	Tell her to take you for a walk. Right now. It's windy.	1.3125	0.06313	80	59	17	4
2275	Riding home I stuck my head out the window once too often.	1.3125	0.06796	80	61	13	6
2276	Somebody didn't read the instructions.	1.3125	0.06559	80	60	15	5
2277	You should switch to my vet. He's afraid of growling.	1.3125	0.06337	96	74	14	8
2278	It's a rental.	1.3125	0.07025	80	62	11	7
2279	My therapist encouraged me to flip the problem.	1.3125	0.06796	80	61	13	6
2280	The trick is to get a really fast running start.	1.3125	0.05790	80	57	21	2
2281	You got a lampshade stuck on your head too?	1.3125	0.07247	80	63	9	8
2282	Want to change your world view? Flip the collar!	1.3125	0.05510	80	56	23	1
2283	Well, my vet upgraded my social status. Now I'm a white collar dog.	1.3125	0.06313	80	59	17	4
2284	Seriously, when you're hanging out the car window ... way better!	1.3125	0.07675	64	49	10	5
2285	You just have to look at it from the other side.	1.3125	0.05981	96	72	18	6
2286	I decided to get a second opinion.	1.3125	0.06796	80	61	13	6
2287	I had my vasectomy reversed.	1.3125	0.06313	80	59	17	4
2288	Once you heal up, you can wear it like this!	1.3125	0.06635	64	46	16	2
2289	He always does things a little backwards.	1.3125	0.06057	80	58	19	3
2290	I can still lick my butt but can’t scratch my ears. I consider it a good trade off	1.3125	0.05510	80	56	23	1
2291	You're wearing your lampshade backwards!	1.3125	0.06313	80	59	17	4
2292	I asked for something more slimming	1.3125	0.06559	80	60	15	5
2293	Dawg! You're wearing it backwards. It's supposed to be like a cape.	1.3125	0.06313	80	59	17	4
2294	Regardless, we’re both screwed”	1.3125	0.06559	80	60	15	5
2295	It’s all about empowerment	1.3125	0.06057	80	58	19	3
2296	Oh, come on. Live a little!	1.3125	0.06559	80	60	15	5
2297	I’ve gone casual since I’m 100% work from home.	1.3125	0.07462	80	64	7	9
2298	This is for good behavior	1.3125	0.05602	96	70	22	4
2299	I like the wind blown effect.	1.3125	0.05790	80	57	21	2
2300	Yes, the directions manual is from IKEA.	1.3125	0.05602	96	70	22	4
2301	If you think this is wrong, you should see how my human wears their mask.	1.3125	0.06796	80	61	13	6
2302	I see you have an outie!	1.3119	0.05636	109	82	20	7
2303	So good to be owned by a clueless klutz.	1.3118	0.06111	93	70	17	6
2304	yea i'm with first time dog owner	1.3118	0.05917	93	69	19	5
2305	This is how it's worn in Europe.	1.3118	0.05716	93	68	21	4
2306	Once my therapist helped me work through the shame everything turned around for me.	1.3118	0.06111	93	70	17	6
2307	This is actually a Lagerfeld collar.	1.3118	0.06300	93	71	15	7
2308	This is how the very good boys wear them.	1.3118	0.05917	93	69	19	5
2309	Seriously, don't even think about sticking your head out the car window like that.	1.3118	0.06300	93	71	15	7
2310	I studied physics Carl, an inverted cone is aerodynamically suited for ball chasing	1.3118	0.05917	93	69	19	5
2311	Mine cuts down on the wind drag.	1.3117	0.06203	77	56	18	3
2312	No, but I can lick YOUR nuts if you'd like?	1.3117	0.06981	77	59	12	6
2313	I recommend a good headwind.	1.3117	0.06473	77	57	16	4
2314	Just tell your owner it's backwards day!	1.3117	0.05921	77	55	20	2
2315	i don,t know whether i,m comming or going.	1.3117	0.06203	77	56	18	3
2316	I can hear you. There’s no need to shout.	1.3117	0.06473	77	57	16	4
2317	It all depends on whether you're an introvert or an extrovert.	1.3117	0.06203	77	56	18	3
2318	My ancestors came over on the Mayflower.	1.3117	0.06473	77	57	16	4
2319	It doesn't work as well but it looks better"	1.3117	0.06203	77	56	18	3
2320	Works just as well,except now I can run faster!	1.3117	0.06203	77	56	18	3
2321	I told them I had asthma.	1.3117	0.06981	77	59	12	6
2322	My cousin says this is the style in Europe.	1.3117	0.05921	77	55	20	2
2323	Are you a priest?	1.3117	0.06203	77	56	18	3
2324	Cone heads.	1.3117	0.06203	77	56	18	3
2325	You should try it, you'll see better	1.3117	0.06473	77	57	16	4
2326	I don’t think you’re doing that right	1.3117	0.05626	77	54	22	1
2327	You get better reception if you wear it this way!	1.3117	0.06203	77	56	18	3
2328	I think it makes me look thinner this way.	1.3117	0.06473	77	57	16	4
2329	Hey, rookie! How ya gonna get out the damn doggie door?	1.3111	0.06047	90	67	18	5
2330	Just run real fast through your doggie door.	1.3111	0.06250	90	68	16	6
2331	We’re fraternal, not identical.	1.3111	0.05837	90	66	20	4
2332	My vet believes in alternative therapy.	1.3111	0.06250	90	68	16	6
2333	One of us has it on wrong.	1.3111	0.06250	90	68	16	6
2334	Is my vet ADD or Dyslectic	1.3111	0.06047	90	67	18	5
2335	yes! It is reversible.	1.3111	0.06047	90	67	18	5
2336	Yeah, this makes it less of a shame and more of a fashion statement.	1.3111	0.05619	90	65	22	3
2337	You know that opposites attract,right?	1.3111	0.05837	90	66	20	4
2338	I don’t know, my vet came highly recommended.	1.3111	0.05837	90	66	20	4
2339	‘Just because we disagree doesn’t mean we can’t still be friends.’	1.3111	0.06250	90	68	16	6
2340	It makes us more stackable.	1.3111	0.06047	90	67	18	5
2341	The cat said, "Go out the pet door. You'll fit."	1.3108	0.06918	74	56	13	5
2342	Your’s keeps you out of the doghouse. Mine gets me in.	1.3108	0.06918	74	56	13	5
2343	So I told my man: “flip it around or I won’t be your best friend anymore.	1.3108	0.06645	74	55	15	4
2344	I was tired of mine too, until I discovered it was reversible.	1.3108	0.07180	74	57	11	6
2345	I thought they said it was reversible	1.3108	0.06918	74	56	13	5
2346	It’s the sport model- not as practical but way more fun.	1.3108	0.06645	74	55	15	4
2347	...so I can’t lick it anymore!	1.3108	0.06360	74	54	17	3
2348	Yes, actually, I can lick it. But what are you going to do for me?	1.3107	0.05349	103	75	24	4
2349	It looks better this way on Zoom	1.3107	0.05694	103	77	20	6
2350	I thought the lamp was a squirrel.	1.3103	0.06185	87	65	17	5
2351	I'm entering the priesthood.	1.3103	0.05965	87	64	19	4
2352	I just thought ‘might as well make it the car ride of my life, aerodynamics-wise’. I mean, I may be short two tennis balls but I feel sleek as heck.	1.3103	0.06185	87	65	17	5
2353	I think I've proven which of us is the smarter breed.	1.3103	0.06802	87	68	11	8
2354	Yes, I do belong to Pilgrims.	1.3103	0.05736	87	63	21	3
2355	Good news, it's reversible.	1.3103	0.06996	87	69	9	9
2356	The vet. said there would be less drag when I run.	1.3103	0.06185	87	65	17	5
2357	You're Catholic, I'm Episcopalian.	1.3103	0.06603	87	67	13	7
2358	I got my peripheral vision back!	1.3103	0.05965	87	64	19	4
2359	No, I could write YOU a sonnet about your Easter bonnet.	1.3103	0.05736	87	63	21	3
2360	I have these contrary impulses from time to time.	1.3103	0.06397	87	66	15	6
2361	I asked if she had anything in the designer section.	1.3103	0.05736	87	63	21	3
2362	Don't be embarrassed. I'd be happy to lick that for you.	1.3103	0.05965	87	64	19	4
2363	I see you’re an outie!	1.3103	0.06603	87	67	13	7
2364	No really, I think you're pulling it off.	1.3103	0.06397	87	66	15	6
2365	Who's to say which is better? Some just are innies and some just are outies.	1.3103	0.05965	87	64	19	4
2366	Shocking, right?	1.3103	0.05965	87	64	19	4
2367	This is America and I have rights.	1.3103	0.06397	87	66	15	6
2368	Catholic. You?	1.3103	0.06185	87	65	17	5
2369	You have an outie. I have an innie. .	1.3103	0.05965	87	64	19	4
2370	I’m woke.	1.3103	0.05736	87	63	21	3
2371	My human is into alternative medicine	1.3103	0.05736	87	63	21	3
2372	Sister Carmella! Always the rebel.	1.3103	0.06185	87	65	17	5
2373	Is that what you’re wearing to the Vet Gala?	1.3100	0.06146	100	77	15	8
2374	Trust me, it's all over Tik Tok.	1.3100	0.05808	100	75	19	6
2375	I told them "this makes me look thinner".	1.3100	0.05808	100	75	19	6
2376	This is how the cool dogs wear them.	1.3100	0.05449	100	73	23	4
2377	Who's your stylist?	1.3100	0.05979	100	76	17	7
2378	I’ll scratch you if you’ll scratch me? Waddysay?	1.3100	0.05449	100	73	23	4
2379	How long are you in for?	1.3099	0.06529	71	52	16	3
2380	Yeah, I can't get decent reception either.	1.3099	0.06529	71	52	16	3
2381	Am I ashamed to be wearing a cone? What are you talking about?	1.3099	0.07118	71	54	12	5
2382	Mines just a lampshade from the party, whats yours for?	1.3099	0.06213	71	54	14	3
2383	Could I get you to scratch my ear, please?	1.3099	0.06213	71	51	18	2
2384	With the reduced drag coefficient, I can retrieve much faster. Plus, I can still lick myself. Win-win.	1.3095	0.06554	84	64	14	6
2385	My owner's a sailor. My owner's a priest.	1.3095	0.06554	84	64	14	6
2386	An open car window	1.3095	0.06770	84	65	12	7
2387	It's kind of an Elizabethan vs. Pilgrim thing.	1.3095	0.06101	84	62	18	4
2388	You thank that's bad? I just bombed an audition for the new RCA ad.	1.3095	0.06554	84	64	14	6
2389	My new owner is an interior decorator. Appearance is everything.	1.3095	0.05861	84	61	20	3
2390	I left the house in a hurry this morning.	1.3095	0.05611	84	60	22	2
2391	Luckily, my owner’s dyslexic.	1.3095	0.06978	84	66	10	8
2392	My name is Yin, what's yours?	1.3095	0.06770	84	65	12	7
2393	I said, 'fine, I'll wear it. But only as an accessory.'	1.3095	0.06332	84	63	16	5
2394	You should see the way he wears his mask!	1.3095	0.06332	84	63	16	5
2395	They put it on wrong, now I can lick wherever you need!	1.3095	0.06770	84	65	12	7
2396	I told my owner it’s how all the dogs are wearing it	1.3095	0.05861	84	61	20	3
2397	I find that this way it has less echo.	1.3095	0.06332	84	63	16	5
2398	Hindsight is twenty twenty.	1.3095	0.05861	84	61	20	3
2399	When do you get your 2nd shot?	1.3095	0.06332	84	63	16	5
2400	It’s called flipping the script.	1.3095	0.06332	84	63	16	5
2401	That's why they call me the "human whisperer."	1.3095	0.06332	84	63	16	5
2402	It’s really more of a fashion statement.	1.3095	0.06978	84	66	10	8
2403	You should try, it’s called downward dog!	1.3095	0.06554	84	64	14	6
2404	Yeah,I have Medicaid.	1.3095	0.06332	84	63	16	5
2405	What about my freedoms? Nobody’s gonna tell me how to wear this thing.	1.3095	0.06101	84	62	18	4
2406	This way my dignity and peripheral vision stay intact.	1.3095	0.06332	84	63	16	5
2407	I had a change of perspective.	1.3095	0.06101	84	62	18	4
2408	...and then, within like 5 minutes, I got 3000 new followers!	1.3095	0.06101	84	62	18	4
2409	It’s reversible, you know.	1.3093	0.06280	97	75	14	8
2410	It’s post-Elisabethan.	1.3093	0.05554	97	71	22	4
2411	Nice Ruff.	1.3093	0.06106	97	74	16	7
2412	It's fashion before function at my house.	1.3093	0.06106	97	74	16	7
2413	I see you’re still wearing the old model.	1.3093	0.05554	97	71	22	4
2414	Just run as hard as you can through the cat door!	1.3088	0.07335	68	52	11	5
2415	I thought it was perfect for my Shakespeare audition.	1.3088	0.07629	68	53	9	6
2416	So,my vet was telling me about his dyslexia...	1.3088	0.06375	68	49	17	2
2417	It's a lampshade, the cat put vodka in my water dish.	1.3088	0.07335	68	52	11	5
2418	Just put your head out of the window inside the car wash.	1.3086	0.06246	81	60	17	4
2419	Don’t worry. I may look cooler, but it’s equally hard to lick myself.	1.3086	0.05994	81	59	19	3
2420	I find that my coefficient of drag is vastly superior	1.3086	0.06246	81	60	17	4
2421	Works like yours, but is way more aerodynamic.	1.3086	0.06489	81	61	15	5
2422	...and mine was built to be aerodynamic!	1.3086	0.06489	81	61	15	5
2423	Montessori	1.3086	0.05994	81	59	19	3
2424	It doesn't help my neck, but I can still lick my favorite parts.	1.3086	0.05994	81	59	19	3
2425	My human seemed confused about his mask, too.	1.3086	0.05731	81	58	21	2
2426	The aerodynamics are so much better.	1.3086	0.06722	81	62	13	6
2427	Don’t ask. Don’t tell.	1.3086	0.06948	81	63	11	7
2428	What vet do you use?	1.3086	0.06246	81	60	17	4
2429	Prep school, eh?	1.3086	0.05455	81	57	23	1
2430	I told the doctor I’m claustrophobic.	1.3086	0.05994	81	59	19	3
2431	I’m disrupting the cone industry.	1.3086	0.05994	81	59	19	3
2432	So my owner saw this Tik Tok...	1.3086	0.05994	81	59	19	3
2433	‘Cone half full kind of dog?’	1.3086	0.05731	81	58	21	2
2434	...it’s really more about you wearing the cone and less about the cone wearing you, am I right?	1.3086	0.05994	81	59	19	3
2435	It’s so much easier for butt sniffing	1.3086	0.05994	81	59	19	3
2436	it prevents itch and reduces drag!	1.3086	0.05994	81	59	19	3
2437	This way I get the Doppler effect when a car drives by.	1.3085	0.05665	94	69	21	4
2438	I kept hearing messages from Pluto.	1.3085	0.06055	94	71	17	6
2439	He said I am too beautiful a boy to hide my face like that.	1.3085	0.05459	94	68	23	3
2440	I can bark them into anything.	1.3085	0.05863	94	70	19	5
2441	I get to chew my stitches AND make an anti-cone statement	1.3085	0.06055	94	71	17	6
2442	I guess I'm an outie and you're an inie.	1.3085	0.05863	94	70	19	5
2443	Sure it makes me look fat. But it's comfortable.	1.3085	0.05665	94	69	21	4
2444	It's European.	1.3085	0.05665	94	69	21	4
2445	Could you please lower your voice?	1.3085	0.06241	94	72	15	7
2446	It's cooler if you wear it backwards.	1.3085	0.05863	94	70	19	5
2447	Obviously, you're not on TikTok.	1.3085	0.05863	94	70	19	5
2448	We both wear the same cone, my friend. The limitations are in your mind.	1.3085	0.06055	94	71	17	6
2449	I get 17 channels. You?	1.3085	0.06241	94	72	15	7
2450	Yeah, I know. My owner started drinking again.	1.3077	0.05859	78	56	20	2
2451	I'm with the resistance.	1.3077	0.06907	65	48	14	3
2452	I see you are an extrovert.	1.3077	0.05567	78	55	22	1
2453	They say that opposites attract.	1.3077	0.05782	91	67	20	4
2454	I'm seeing life more objectively now that I'm free of the echo chamber.	1.3077	0.06903	78	60	12	6
2455	I took my vows two years ago but am still awaiting to be assigned to a Parrish.	1.3077	0.05859	78	56	20	2
2456	My human hates caving to societal norms, but this time it was just too much weed.	1.3077	0.06190	91	69	16	6
2457	I got tired of the echo chamber.	1.3077	0.06657	78	59	14	5
2458	It must have been an awesome tailwind.	1.3077	0.06657	78	59	14	5
2459	No, yours is a cone, mine is an Elizabethan neck ruff.	1.3077	0.05343	91	65	24	2
2460	I am so fast now I am almost invisible	1.3077	0.06385	91	70	14	7
2461	In fact, I did get dressed in the dark this morning.	1.3077	0.05782	91	67	20	4
2462	You know how it works.... you scratch my back and I scratch your ....	1.3077	0.06190	91	69	16	6
2463	Spayed? No, just the opposite.	1.3077	0.06657	78	59	14	5
2464	The whole world is inside out.	1.3077	0.06903	78	60	12	6
2465	It was too echoey!	1.3077	0.07247	65	49	12	4
2466	Then one day, I just said to myself - just embrace it, and make it your own.	1.3077	0.05782	91	67	20	4
2467	I'm giving this look a try.	1.3077	0.06402	78	58	16	4
2468	It's a lampshade of shame!	1.3077	0.05859	78	56	20	2
2469	I still scratch, but at least I don’t get laughed at.	1.3077	0.05990	91	68	18	5
2470	Dumb Vet didn't know if I was coming or going.	1.3077	0.06190	91	69	16	6
2471	Guess who I ran into today.	1.3077	0.06657	78	59	14	5
2472	It depends on your interpretation of the Constitution as to what 'backwards' means	1.3077	0.06657	78	59	14	5
2473	It was just the next logical step once I was ordained.	1.3077	0.06136	78	57	18	3
2474	I was able to do this by executing the Downward Facing Dog pose in my yoga class.	1.3077	0.06402	78	58	16	4
2475	Ruff, ruff . . . ruff, ruff, ruff	1.3077	0.05782	91	67	20	4
2476	On Fridays we keep it casual.	1.3077	0.06657	78	59	14	5
2477	no, you’ve got it all backwards	1.3077	0.06385	91	70	14	7
2478	It’s a drool collar!	1.3077	0.06402	78	58	16	4
2479	I’m telling you, I have a whole new perspective!	1.3077	0.06136	78	57	18	3
2480	Sorry for your loss. Mine is actually for aerodynamics.	1.3077	0.06402	78	58	16	4
2481	Prada, Doug. You look good though.	1.3077	0.05859	78	56	20	2
2482	Peripheral is everything.	1.3077	0.06402	78	58	16	4
2483	Wait... "Dog eat dog" is just a saying?	1.3069	0.05217	101	73	25	3
2484	Well, mine is less for function and more for fashion.	1.3068	0.05907	88	65	19	4
2485	This way I hear the sounds of the city, not the sound of the ocean."	1.3068	0.06124	88	66	17	5
2486	It looks like I got the trainee vet.	1.3068	0.05682	88	64	21	3
2487	Do you have any idea how ridiculous you look?	1.3068	0.05907	88	65	19	4
2488	C'mon Jake, Ya gotta think Outside the Box	1.3068	0.05907	88	65	19	4
2489	I can't hear as well, but it looks kinda cool, doesn't it?	1.3068	0.05447	88	63	23	2
2490	Say 3 here boys and 2 good dogs and you are forgiven my son.	1.3068	0.06334	88	67	15	6
2491	Nah, I'M fine, but you should see the lightbulb!	1.3068	0.05907	88	65	19	4
2492	Go stand in front of a leaf blower!	1.3068	0.06334	88	67	15	6
2493	Do you feel emasculated, too?	1.3068	0.05682	88	64	21	3
2494	It's like this, Sparky. Having a halfwit owner has its perks.	1.3068	0.05907	88	65	19	4
2495	You just lay on your side...roll into a ball...tail between your legs...grab it in your mouth...jerk really hard...and wham!	1.3068	0.06124	88	66	17	5
2496	RUSTY! We rode home from the vet WITH THE TOP DOWN!	1.3068	0.06334	88	67	15	6
2497	I graduated from seminary last week.	1.3068	0.06124	88	66	17	5
2498	would you scratch something for me?	1.3068	0.06734	88	69	11	8
2499	My Doctor's a Contraveterinarian	1.3068	0.06334	88	67	15	6
2500	That collar really ages you in dog years	1.3067	0.06569	75	56	15	4
2501	Wait till you see what I've done with my food bowl!	1.3067	0.06569	75	56	15	4
2502	Yes, my vet is dyslexic. Why do you ask?	1.3067	0.07096	75	58	11	6
2503	Really it works both ways - my owner happens to be a nun.	1.3067	0.06288	75	55	17	3
2504	Well, you know there is a right way and a wrong way. Kind of like the toilet paper over/under thing...	1.3067	0.06837	75	57	13	5
2505	So, how was your bris?	1.3067	0.06288	75	55	17	3
2506	Next time they ask you.....say "convex - not concave"	1.3067	0.06569	75	56	15	4
2507	Still using last season’s cone?	1.3067	0.06569	75	56	15	4
2508	My insurance wouldn't cover that one.	1.3067	0.05687	75	53	21	1
2509	Yeah,it was on Shark Tank.	1.3067	0.06837	75	57	13	5
2510	This way you don't have to look up at the camera to hide your double chin.	1.3067	0.06569	75	56	15	4
2511	I’d strongly recommend switching to the newer model. It’s got a much larger field of view and is biodegradable.	1.3067	0.07096	75	58	11	6
2512	Too Handmaid's Tale for my taste.	1.3067	0.06569	75	56	15	4
2513	This quarantine has made me reimagine my wardrobe.	1.3067	0.06569	75	56	15	4
2514	Coney Island was great, but it sort of gave me tunnel vision.	1.3067	0.06288	75	55	17	3
2515	Upturned collars? Oh no, those are so last season.	1.3067	0.07346	75	59	9	7
2516	So...Are you extraverted introvert or introverted extravert?	1.3067	0.06569	75	56	15	4
2517	It was crazy windy outside.	1.3067	0.07096	75	58	11	6
2518	Innie meets outie	1.3065	0.07121	62	46	13	3
2519	I bite my nails.	1.3063	0.05548	111	84	20	7
2520	It worked for Madonna.	1.3061	0.05876	98	74	18	6
2521	If you wear it this way it helps with wind resistance.	1.3061	0.05506	98	72	22	4
2522	Hi, my name's Yin. What's yours?	1.3061	0.05506	98	72	22	4
2523	Let me guess...Yang?	1.3061	0.06052	98	75	16	7
2524	I don't feel like a lightbulb	1.3059	0.05803	85	62	20	3
2525	My human is an idiot.	1.3059	0.06487	85	65	14	6
2526	Nice subwoofer.	1.3059	0.06905	85	67	10	8
2527	I consider myself an Influencer.....	1.3059	0.06268	85	64	16	5
2528	I just told him "good master."	1.3059	0.06268	85	64	16	5
2529	I told my mom all the cool dogs wear their cone backwards.	1.3059	0.05557	85	61	22	2
2530	I'm no longer shamed by the cone.	1.3059	0.06040	85	63	18	4
2531	And you believed them?!	1.3059	0.06487	85	65	14	6
2532	If we keep wear these lampshades, they will think we are alrady nuetered	1.3059	0.06268	85	64	16	5
2533	Wait till you see what I’ve done with my leash!	1.3059	0.06268	85	64	16	5
2534	I'll itch yours if you itch mine.	1.3059	0.05803	85	62	20	3
2535	I know, I know...you warned me about the cheap knockoffs.	1.3059	0.05803	85	62	20	3
2536	The collar is reversible, comes in neutral colors, and can be monogrammed.	1.3059	0.06268	85	64	16	5
2537	My human fights oppression wherever she sees it.	1.3059	0.06040	85	63	18	4
2538	Looks like we were meant for each other.	1.3059	0.06487	85	65	14	6
2539	Who cares if mine is on backwards? The question is "who wore it better?"	1.3059	0.06268	85	64	16	5
2540	My master is anti-mask, too.	1.3059	0.06487	85	65	14	6
2541	It means I got my second shot!	1.3059	0.06487	85	65	14	6
2542	It's the aerodynamics.	1.3059	0.05557	85	61	22	2
2543	I’ll scratch, and you lick	1.3059	0.05557	85	61	22	2
2544	Well, it may help with your WiFi signal, but you look ridiculous.	1.3059	0.06487	85	65	14	6
2545	It’s roomier, but the acoustics aren’t nearly as good.	1.3059	0.06040	85	63	18	4
2546	The echo is gone!	1.3056	0.05814	72	51	20	1
2547	No, I'm from the nunnery.	1.3056	0.06748	72	54	14	4
2548	Stitches are fake news.	1.3056	0.06748	72	54	14	4
2549	It's given me a whole new perspective!	1.3056	0.06141	72	52	18	2
2550	I am only wearing it because I have to... I don't think they even work.	1.3056	0.06748	72	54	14	4
2551	It happened when I stuck my head out the window when my owner was going 90 MPH. It DOES make drinking water much easier...	1.3056	0.06452	72	53	16	3
2552	i’m a dominican, you must be a jesuit	1.3056	0.06748	72	54	14	4
2553	My vet has a concierge practice.	1.3056	0.06452	72	53	16	3
2554	You be the nun and I'll be the priest.	1.3056	0.07032	72	55	12	5
2555	White dog privilege	1.3056	0.05652	108	82	19	7
2556	Now, we shall kiss.	1.3056	0.05814	72	51	20	1
2557	You wouldn't get it - it's an inside joke.	1.3056	0.06748	72	54	14	4
2558	i find it slimming	1.3053	0.05411	95	69	23	3
2559	I'll lick your paws if you'll lick my butt.	1.3053	0.06000	95	72	17	6
2560	How did you know I was just out for a ride in the car?	1.3053	0.05200	95	68	25	2
2561	I still can't lick my stitches off, but now I feel like superdog.	1.3053	0.06184	95	73	15	7
2562	One word. Aerodynamics.	1.3053	0.05200	95	68	25	2
2563	Outies are better than Inies.	1.3053	0.05614	95	70	21	4
2564	I’m telling you Fido, THIS is the new black.	1.3053	0.05810	95	71	19	5
2565	I just got stuck in a lampshade.	1.3049	0.06420	82	62	15	5
2566	I used reverse psy-collar-gy.	1.3049	0.05673	82	59	21	2
2567	I'll chew on yours if you chew on mine.	1.3049	0.06420	82	62	15	5
2568	Mine was a snout lift.	1.3049	0.05673	82	59	21	2
2569	No, I haven't been fixed. I've joined the priesthood.	1.3049	0.06651	82	63	13	6
2570	The problem isn’t my licking, it’s my body wanting to be licked.	1.3049	0.05933	82	60	19	3
2571	I feel if we do kiss... we will never be apart.	1.3049	0.06420	82	62	15	5
2572	I'm not fixed, I'm fashionable	1.3049	0.06420	82	62	15	5
2573	I know your dad didn’t read the instructions	1.3049	0.06420	82	62	15	5
2574	I run faster this way.	1.3049	0.06420	82	62	15	5
2575	That's how the pups are wearing it these days.	1.3049	0.05673	82	59	21	2
2576	Yeah, I realized it’s much easier to eat pussy this way.	1.3049	0.06873	82	64	11	7
2577	Do you get better reception when your cone faces out like that?	1.3049	0.05933	82	60	19	3
2578	I used to think the glass was half empty too.	1.3049	0.06420	82	62	15	5
2579	It is just like wearing your mask below your nose.	1.3049	0.06420	82	62	15	5
2580	They wanted me to wear that way, but have you ever tried getting your head in the toilet with that thing on?	1.3049	0.07089	82	65	9	8
2581	My vet appears to be an introvert.	1.3049	0.06651	82	63	13	6
2582	It's so aerodynamic. I don't chase squirrels anymore, I lap them.	1.3049	0.05673	82	59	21	2
2583	The cone of trust	1.3049	0.06420	82	62	15	5
2584	CDC now recommends we double cone.	1.3049	0.06420	82	62	15	5
2585	Oh, look! You have an innie!	1.3049	0.06181	82	61	17	4
2586	It’s called leisurewear, Gus.	1.3049	0.05673	82	59	21	2
2587	I think they want me to lick myself.	1.3043	0.05950	69	49	19	1
2588	So I take it you’re also an anti-masker?	1.3043	0.05934	92	69	18	5
2589	Fashion before function, Carl. You look ridiculous.	1.3043	0.06942	69	52	13	4
2590	I’m an ‘outie'	1.3043	0.06627	69	51	15	3
2591	It keeps him from scratching me behind the ears; I always hated that.	1.3043	0.06942	69	52	13	4
2592	Just dive head first into the clothes washer while the door is open!	1.3043	0.05934	92	69	18	5
2593	I've had both my shots, so I no longer need to isolate.	1.3043	0.07242	69	53	11	5
2594	That look is so yesterday. And it must kill your ears when you bark.	1.3043	0.05729	92	68	20	4
2595	I've finally gotten it behind me.	1.3043	0.06132	92	70	16	6
2596	How's the reception in there?	1.3043	0.06298	69	50	17	2
2597	Still wearing last season's model?	1.3043	0.05517	92	67	22	3
2598	I told the vet I was horny.	1.3043	0.06627	69	51	15	3
2599	Tonsils. You?	1.3043	0.06942	69	52	13	4
2600	It's more aerodynamic, so you heal faster.	1.3043	0.05934	92	69	18	5
2601	It was a Kosher operation.	1.3043	0.06132	92	70	16	6
2602	That collar is so last year.	1.3043	0.05934	92	69	18	5
2603	Wait till they are going fast. Put your head out the window. Bam - you're free!	1.3043	0.06324	92	71	14	7
2604	They marketed it as "aerodynamic and fashionable."	1.3043	0.05296	92	66	24	2
2605	Same thing always happens to my umbrella.	1.3043	0.06298	69	50	17	2
2606	you must be a republican	1.3043	0.06942	69	52	13	4
2607	I accepted the limited nature of my existence and in this acceptance I was made free.	1.3043	0.06324	92	71	14	7
2608	Buster, is this the new variant?	1.3043	0.05729	92	68	20	4
2609	Let me guess... Tik Tok?	1.3043	0.07242	69	53	11	5
2610	The aerodynamics are noticeably better.	1.3039	0.05358	102	75	23	4
2611	Mine's Edwardian.	1.3039	0.05877	102	78	17	7
2612	It’s a new procedure	1.3039	0.05536	102	76	21	5
2613	Being a Seeing Eye dog has its perks.	1.3038	0.06826	79	61	12	6
2614	You need to shift the paradigm."	1.3038	0.06826	79	61	12	6
2615	My master turned it around because we’re running in the marathon this week.	1.3038	0.06584	79	60	14	5
2616	I shaved 15 seconds off my mile time wearing it like this.	1.3038	0.06826	79	61	12	6
2617	It’s a lamp shade. Things got crazy after our owner left for work.	1.3038	0.06332	79	59	16	4
2618	You just don't have the balls.	1.3038	0.06826	79	61	12	6
2619	My owners thought it was a bib.	1.3038	0.06332	79	59	16	4
2620	Seriously, at lean out the car window and the damn thing snaps back like this.	1.3038	0.06826	79	61	12	6
2621	It’s slimming.	1.3038	0.06584	79	60	14	5
2622	It's called 'retro'	1.3038	0.06332	79	59	16	4
2623	I got the more aerodynamic model.	1.3038	0.06584	79	60	14	5
2624	Thanks, but I'm not that clever, my master is dyslexic.	1.3038	0.06332	79	59	16	4
2625	You know, when you stick your head out the car window...	1.3038	0.05207	79	55	24	0
2626	Why don't we trade for the day? It will really confuse our owners.	1.3038	0.06584	79	60	14	5
2627	I need to ask you a really big favor.	1.3038	0.07059	79	62	10	7
2628	You got it wrong. It's Falstaff not The Handmaid's Tale.	1.3038	0.06332	79	59	16	4
2629	You bite my stitch, I'll bite yours.	1.3038	0.06584	79	60	14	5
2630	we can kiss, but no necking.	1.3038	0.06584	79	60	14	5
2631	I know right?? All this time!	1.3038	0.06584	79	60	14	5
2632	‘Still can’t lick my butt, but the rest of life feels so much brighter’	1.3038	0.07286	79	63	8	8
2633	It keeps my tail from getting into my eyes!	1.3038	0.05797	79	57	20	2
2634	My vet took my pain meds.	1.3038	0.06071	79	58	18	3
2635	You wouldn’t understand. It’s a Tesla design.	1.3038	0.06826	79	61	12	6
2636	The noise was getting to be too much	1.3038	0.06332	79	59	16	4
2637	I see you've been binging The Handmaid's Tale again.	1.3036	0.05927	112	88	14	10
2638	I’ll scratch your ear if you’ll lick my balls.	1.3034	0.06856	89	71	9	9
2639	you're a inny I'm a outty	1.3034	0.06667	89	70	11	8
2640	Yeah. My insurance only pays for the kind that faces backwards	1.3034	0.06065	89	67	17	5
2641	It gets better.	1.3034	0.05628	89	65	21	3
2642	I think we would make a good fit!	1.3034	0.06272	89	68	15	6
2643	Yeah,it happens every time I stick my head out of the car window.	1.3034	0.06272	89	68	15	6
2644	It's the cone of pride	1.3034	0.06472	89	69	13	7
2645	Hello! Can you hear me? I think you’re on mute	1.3034	0.05851	89	66	19	4
2646	It's really just a simple cone inversion problem, all the math teachers are doing it...	1.3034	0.06065	89	67	17	5
2647	The acoustics are much better this way.	1.3034	0.05628	89	65	21	3
2648	This could be mutually beneficial...	1.3034	0.06065	89	67	17	5
2649	I guess I didn’t read the latest CDC guidelines.	1.3034	0.05851	89	66	19	4
2650	We joined the Presbyterians.	1.3034	0.06065	89	67	17	5
2651	My people don't believe in shaming	1.3034	0.05851	89	66	19	4
2652	Mine's custom.	1.3034	0.06065	89	67	17	5
2653	I don't have an injury; I'm doing "Twelfth Night" down at the dog park.	1.3034	0.06065	89	67	17	5
2654	No surgery. My owner is an engineer, it cuts down wind resistance chasing squirrels.	1.3034	0.06065	89	67	17	5
2655	I see your folks read directions.	1.3034	0.06065	89	67	17	5
2656	'It's okay, they've got the vaccine now'	1.3034	0.06065	89	67	17	5
2657	So if I invert my cone, I escape the Baby-Boomer humor universe”	1.3034	0.05851	89	66	19	4
2658	Yo, it's the canine backwards baseball cap.	1.3030	0.05644	99	74	20	5
2659	Wearing it this way eliminates that pesky echo.	1.3030	0.06333	99	78	12	9
2660	Have you ever seen it this windy?	1.3030	0.07470	66	51	10	5
2661	No, you have to face into the wind.	1.3030	0.05824	99	75	18	6
2662	The new vetinarary intern seems nice.	1.3030	0.05824	99	75	18	6
2663	I appreciate your traditional approach,but, personally, I am going more for a Lady Gaga-esque vibe.	1.3030	0.07470	66	51	10	5
2664	I see you haven't heard about the new reverse therapy.	1.3030	0.05998	99	76	16	7
2665	My vet is dyslexic.	1.3028	0.05607	109	83	19	7
2666	You're so judgemental...it still works AND I can breathe!	1.3026	0.06218	76	56	17	3
2667	Not only is it reversible, the lamp still works.	1.3026	0.06759	76	58	13	5
2668	I look better than I sound.	1.3026	0.06759	76	58	13	5
2669	Nah, can't lick 'em either.	1.3026	0.06494	76	57	15	4
2670	Look on the flip side...	1.3026	0.06759	76	58	13	5
2671	I’m a woofer; you’re a tweeter.	1.3026	0.06218	76	56	17	3
2672	My problems are behind me"	1.3026	0.05626	76	54	21	1
2673	They’re sweet, but not very bright.	1.3026	0.06218	76	56	17	3
2674	It gives me the necessary speed to catch my tail.	1.3026	0.06494	76	57	15	4
2675	I was rescued by Dominican nuns.	1.3026	0.06759	76	58	13	5
2676	It's a Tesla.	1.3026	0.07014	76	59	11	6
2677	Well, comfort is key when barking from home.	1.3026	0.07014	76	59	11	6
2678	There's no injury. It cleans up my aerodynamic profile for chasing cars.	1.3026	0.06759	76	58	13	5
2679	My vet is from England. Why do you ask?	1.3026	0.05929	76	55	19	2
2680	That’s so two dog years ago.	1.3026	0.06218	76	56	17	3
2681	Only one of us is right	1.3026	0.05929	76	55	19	2
2682	This way, you can still sniff your own butt.	1.3023	0.06834	86	68	10	8
2683	Hey, you're an in-y and I'm an out-y.	1.3023	0.06421	86	66	14	6
2684	Which one of our owners can't read directions?	1.3023	0.05747	86	63	20	3
2685	How’s the reception?	1.3023	0.05503	86	62	22	2
2686	melborp eht ees tnod I	1.3023	0.06421	86	66	14	6
2687	It's surprising how easy it is to train my human to do whatever I want.	1.3023	0.06421	86	66	14	6
2688	It's a long story, but mine is actually a lampshade.	1.3023	0.06631	86	67	12	7
2689	Its really not that uncommon. Its called an "innie".	1.3023	0.05980	86	64	18	4
2690	They asked me if I was Catholic	1.3023	0.05980	86	64	18	4
2691	This way I can hear the ocean.	1.3023	0.06204	86	65	16	5
2692	I went for the aerodynamic model.	1.3023	0.05980	86	64	18	4
2693	Say five Hail Marys and two Our Fathers, resolve to not pee on the carpet and then who's a GOOD boy!	1.3023	0.06204	86	65	16	5
2694	Personally,I find the flipped-up collar too preppy a look.	1.3023	0.05980	86	64	18	4
2695	If you walk backwards, it looks like you have it on right.	1.3023	0.06204	86	65	16	5
2696	Really, Rex? That style is so last year!	1.3023	0.06631	86	67	12	7
2697	Did you hear that?	1.3023	0.05503	86	62	22	2
2698	Yeah we’re pretty much doing the opposite of what any doctor says these days.	1.3023	0.06421	86	66	14	6
2699	It’s my version of downward-facing dog.	1.3023	0.06421	86	66	14	6
2700	Turn that frown upside down!	1.3021	0.05758	96	72	19	5
2701	Enough with the megaphone!	1.3021	0.05946	96	73	17	6
2702	Not bowing to convention is the only thing that makes me feel alive these days.	1.3021	0.04938	96	68	27	1
2703	Yeah, well I checked Tiktok and Gen-z is saying this is the way to wear it now	1.3021	0.05565	96	71	21	4
2704	I'm not injured, I'm pretending to be a pilgrim.	1.3021	0.05946	96	73	17	6
2705	You still can’t lick your ass BUT you can eat without shame	1.3021	0.05364	96	70	23	3
2706	It keeps me from touching my face.	1.3019	0.05221	106	78	24	4
2707	Well,My owner suffers from Dyslexia	1.3016	0.08043	63	50	7	6
2708	Just run through the dog door.	1.3014	0.05912	73	55	15	3
2709	How did you turn on your megaphone setting??	1.3014	0.06668	73	55	14	4
2710	Hindsight is 20/20.	1.3014	0.07216	73	57	10	6
2711	It's how they're wearing them at Westminster.	1.3014	0.06668	73	55	14	4
2712	Now I don't get so claustrophobic when I'm sniffing butts.	1.3014	0.06071	73	53	18	2
2713	Instagram vs Reality	1.3014	0.06668	73	55	14	4
2714	The best part is 'no echo'	1.3014	0.06668	73	55	14	4
2715	I just got the vaccine!	1.3014	0.06668	73	55	14	4
2716	Is it me, or is the whole world turned around?	1.3014	0.06668	73	55	14	4
2717	What!?! I can’t hear you!	1.3014	0.06948	73	56	12	5
2718	Rookie	1.3014	0.06668	73	55	14	4
2719	My doctor is a postmodernist	1.3014	0.06376	73	54	16	3
2720	Look, I’m a Handmaid’s Tail	1.3014	0.06948	73	56	12	5
2721	Honestly, this way is much more aerodynamic for when you stick your head out of the car window. Try it!	1.3014	0.06376	73	54	16	3
2722	It makes it easier to sniff your butt.. can I sniff your butt?!	1.3012	0.06800	83	65	11	7
2723	Well, look at chew!	1.3012	0.05209	83	61	20	2
2724	This way is more fetching!	1.3012	0.06353	83	63	15	5
2725	I’m all healed, but I love an accessory.	1.3012	0.06117	83	62	17	4
2726	If you scratch mine I'll scratch yours	1.3012	0.06800	83	65	11	7
2727	I see you're a fan of conservative media.	1.3012	0.06580	83	64	13	6
2728	I have no idea who NASA is,but they called	1.3012	0.05872	83	61	19	3
2729	Our company doesn’t have a strict dress code.	1.3012	0.06117	83	62	17	4
2730	Yes my son, of course I will hear your confession!	1.3012	0.06580	83	64	13	6
2731	My owner drives really fast.	1.3012	0.06353	83	63	15	5
2732	It's a Montessori thing.	1.3012	0.06353	83	63	15	5
2733	You have to run really fast.	1.3012	0.06353	83	63	15	5
2734	I read on Barker that cones are a hoax.	1.3012	0.05872	83	61	19	3
2735	My owner was totally baffled ; he still thinks Trump won.	1.3012	0.06353	83	63	15	5
2736	These days,we don’t know if we’re coming or going.	1.3012	0.06117	83	62	17	4
2737	Vet prescribed, but patriots don’t let fear of infection trump our rights to lick	1.3012	0.06117	83	62	17	4
2738	You wouldn’t believe the wind.	1.3012	0.06117	83	62	17	4
2739	You’re wearing it wrong. Dr. Fauci says it should cover your nose and mouth.	1.3012	0.06580	83	64	13	6
2740	It’s okay man, you can come out, 2020 is over.	1.3012	0.06117	83	62	17	4
2741	They wear it like this in France.	1.3012	0.05746	83	63	16	4
2742	it’s more aero dynamic during car rides	1.3012	0.05872	83	61	19	3
2743	My owner calls it lamp shade chic.	1.3011	0.06074	93	71	16	6
2744	There is lot less drag when chasing cars.	1.3011	0.05677	93	69	20	4
2745	I still can't bite my stitches, but at least it's more areodynamic.	1.3011	0.05677	93	69	20	4
2746	I think it's a sign we were meant for each other.	1.3011	0.05677	93	69	20	4
2747	It can also be worn as a skirt.	1.3011	0.05021	93	66	26	1
2748	Call me a clown if you want, but I can still chew your tail for a biscuit.	1.3011	0.05467	93	68	22	3
2749	‘Do you really think it’s about keeping you safe? Wake up!’	1.3011	0.06448	93	73	12	8
2750	Fixed but make it fashion.	1.3000	0.05575	90	66	21	3
2751	This means that they un-fixed me right?”	1.3000	0.06006	80	59	18	3
2752	Lots of dogs are into popping their collars, but I prefer a more casual look.	1.3000	0.06222	70	51	17	2
2753	Thanks for the heads up. Mirrors baffle me.	1.3000	0.06007	90	68	17	5
2754	I’m trying reverse psychology	1.3000	0.05737	80	58	20	2
2755	Because I could.	1.3000	0.06264	80	60	16	4
2756	I feel it helps preserve the dignity of forced castration	1.3000	0.07151	70	54	11	5
2757	I’m notorious D-O-G.	1.3000	0.06211	90	69	15	6
2758	This way, I can't scratch but I can still sniff.	1.3000	0.06512	80	61	14	5
2759	No, YOU'RE wearing it backwards!	1.3000	0.06211	90	69	15	6
2760	No, I think you're the one who has it on backwards.	1.3000	0.06006	80	59	18	3
2761	If you walk backwards, no one notices.	1.3000	0.06981	80	63	10	7
2762	Easy on the eyes, aerodynamic, and doesn’t get in the way of proper introductions if you know what I’m saying.	1.3000	0.06512	80	61	14	5
2763	It's the new starched white collier look of the 1900s. All the dogs will be wearing it.	1.3000	0.06006	80	59	18	3
2764	I got the lead in "The Crucible!"	1.3000	0.05946	100	77	16	7
2765	OMG. You’re such a goody-goody.	1.3000	0.06007	90	68	17	5
2766	My owner's Ignorance is my Bliss.	1.3000	0.06006	80	59	18	3
2767	I kept barking at the gramaphone.	1.3000	0.06264	80	60	16	4
2768	How's your reception?	1.3000	0.06007	90	68	17	5
2769	That headwind's a killer.	1.3000	0.06512	80	61	14	5
2770	...And then all of a sudden a huge gust came and blew all my troubles away!	1.3000	0.06007	90	68	17	5
2771	My mobility suffers but my peripheral vision is back!	1.3000	0.06007	90	68	17	5
2772	Which sect are you?	1.3000	0.05347	90	65	23	2
2773	Agreed—no more throwing shade.	1.3000	0.06751	80	62	12	6
2774	I didn’t know you were celibate.	1.3000	0.06006	80	59	18	3
2775	My Vet might be dyslexic.....At least I can see the furniture I run into.	1.3000	0.07435	70	55	9	6
2776	I came out.	1.3000	0.06547	70	52	15	3
2777	Now I see what they mean by an "innie" and an "outie"	1.3000	0.06856	70	53	13	4
2778	. . . and I told him it was way too windy for a walk.	1.3000	0.06601	90	71	11	8
2779	Be smarter than me, bark to go out; don't try using the dog door!	1.3000	0.06409	90	70	13	7
2780	Believe me, I wish I had blinders on around this family.	1.3000	0.06006	80	59	18	3
2781	I’d say in your case it’s best to back through the dog door.	1.3000	0.06856	70	53	13	4
2782	Does this make my neck look fat?	1.3000	0.05575	90	66	21	3
2783	Yeah, yeah, yeah. Show me the data these things actually protect us!	1.3000	0.06512	80	61	14	5
2784	Now I can run faster than you can!"	1.3000	0.06856	70	53	13	4
2785	You should see the new table he tried to put together!	1.3000	0.05737	80	58	20	2
2786	Once you put your head out the car window, you'll never look back.	1.3000	0.05575	90	66	21	3
2787	Oh look, another denier!	1.3000	0.06512	80	61	14	5
2788	We're a perfect match	1.3000	0.06512	80	61	14	5
2789	And somehow she still got pregnant	1.3000	0.06211	90	69	15	6
2790	Wtf Jerry	1.3000	0.06409	90	70	13	7
2791	I bet your humans wear their masks below their noses.	1.3000	0.06264	80	60	16	4
2792	Linda, it's fashion week! Put in a little bit of effort!	1.3000	0.07435	70	55	9	6
2793	I keep telling you man, acid really opens your eyes to the world	1.3000	0.06512	80	61	14	5
2794	I'm a glass half full kind of dog	1.3000	0.06006	80	59	18	3
2795	I know the Centers for Doggy Control (CDC) said to wear it over my face, but I find it limits my face-licking and crotch sniffing capabilities that way.	1.3000	0.06512	80	61	14	5
2796	You scratch mine, I'll scratch yours.	1.2991	0.05667	107	82	18	7
2797	Yeah! Absolutely! I had my second shot!	1.2990	0.05892	97	74	17	6
2798	what can I say My Vet likes to smoke the hooch	1.2990	0.06246	97	76	13	8
2799	My vet is a big believer in alternative medicine.	1.2989	0.06143	87	66	16	5
2800	You look like a handmaid. I look like a superhero.	1.2989	0.06143	87	66	16	5

Contest #744

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