Contest #744


Cartoon

744

The winning captions

These captions are chosen by The New Yorker.

  1. “I could never pull that off.”
  2. "You should see how my owner wears his mask."
  3. "He said I had to wear it. He didn't say how."


Name Value
Submission deadline 2021-02-21T20:51:00.000Z
Voting started -
Voting ended 2021-03-07T20:52:00.000Z
Finalists announced 2021-03-01T20:52:00.000Z
Magazine(s) announcing finalists issued March 8, 2021
Number of captions 12354
Number of responses 1110562
Number of participants -


Dashboard

In this table, the "mean" means the empirically measured average funniness score when the "unfunny", "somewhat funny" and "funny" receive a funniness score of 1, 2, 3 respectively. "Precison" is the standard error of the mean, the standard deviation of the mean estimate. With that, a caption with an empirical mean μ and precision σ has true mean in the range [μ - 2σ, μ + 2σ] with 95% probability by the 68-95-99.7 rule assuming the responses are indepedent and identically distributed.

Rank Caption Mean Precision Total votes "Unfunny" votes "Somewhat funny" votes "Funny" votes
0 Your going as a satellite dish? I'm going as a pilgrim. 1.8905 0.01728 2128 817 736 575
1 As a Republican I have to wear it this way, otherwise it's impossible to stick my head up my ass. 1.8873 0.02329 1411 628 314 469
2 Any place you'd like me to lick for you? 1.8836 0.01924 1839 753 554 532
3 It might be on backwards, but now they put the thermometer in my mouth. 1.8793 0.01803 2105 877 616 612
4 No one wears their cone like that anymore Dad 1.8757 0.01743 2004 752 750 502
5 I could never pull that off. 1.8463 0.01614 2420 983 831 606
6 Technically, I'm in compliance. 1.8309 0.01757 1887 739 731 417
7 I think I got the placebo. 1.8274 0.01771 1941 790 698 453
8 I'm getting much better mileage too. 1.8269 0.01785 1895 764 695 436
9 You went to the vet. I went to the seminary. 1.8251 0.01831 1830 755 644 431
10 This way I can still drink out of the toilet. 1.8235 0.01713 2125 886 730 509
11 Elizabethan is out. Puritan is in. 1.8204 0.01844 1815 752 637 426
12 Is it true you can hear the ocean?" 1.8192 0.01800 1825 734 687 404
13 Run through the doggie door as fast as you can. Trust me. 1.8182 0.01862 1815 769 610 436
14 Mine's a placebo. 1.8179 0.01733 2120 905 697 518
15 This way, I can still drink from the toilet. 1.8165 0.01840 1820 758 638 424
16 Seriously? You didn’t know it was reversible? 1.8143 0.01729 1949 787 740 422
17 No, it’s not medical. I chased the cat up a lamp 1.8138 0.01838 1880 807 619 454
18 I saw my human do it with his baseball cap 1.8078 0.01817 1831 766 653 412
19 I slipped the vet a five. 1.8069 0.01827 1802 753 646 403
20 Think I look stupid, my master has one that covers his mouth and nose" 1.8057 0.01863 1863 823 583 457
21 I like to think outside the cone. 1.7795 0.01792 1859 813 648 398
22 Nah. I just chased a cat up a lamp. 1.7778 0.02136 1395 633 439 323
23 Every revolution begins with a small act of defiance. 1.7698 0.01839 1690 722 635 333
24 I can’t get at my stitches but I can still drink from the toilet. 1.7657 0.01772 1848 806 672 370
25 It’s tough, but I can still lick mine. 1.7648 0.01863 1752 792 583 377
26 It’s simple. Just run real fast through the doggy door. 1.7643 0.01863 1727 769 596 362
27 It's a shame that cone-wearing has become a partisan issue. 1.7627 0.02172 1281 575 435 271
28 Just stick your head out of the car window at about 60 1.7615 0.01885 1635 716 593 326
29 Do you think this makes me look fast? 1.7612 0.01858 1738 780 594 364
30 I see you opted for amplification over aerodynamics." 1.7596 0.01936 1539 675 560 304
31 Designed by RBG. Yours? 1.7580 0.01902 1682 764 561 357
32 I'm more of an extrovert 1.7551 0.02365 1070 483 366 221
33 It's easy. Just wait for your next ride with the window down. 1.7527 0.01768 1820 798 674 348
34 It was easy. I just stuck my head out of the car window. 1.7514 0.01800 1770 788 638 344
35 At least I can still get my head into the toilet. 1.7473 0.01882 1642 743 576 323
36 Yeah, they're reversible. Who knew, right? 1.7447 0.01861 1594 699 605 290
37 Online vet. 1.7439 0.02620 902 424 285 193
38 You can wear it like this if you're 6 feet apart. 1.7431 0.01937 1561 709 544 308
39 I used to wear it that way, but I couldn't stand the acoustics. 1.7407 0.01886 1512 653 598 261
40 It’s not a cone of shame — I’ve been ordained! 1.7375 0.02034 1425 656 487 282
41 I discovered the cat door .... game changer. 1.7356 0.02068 1354 620 473 261
42 Neutered? I just promised celibacy and got this clerical collar instead. 1.7205 0.02404 1084 533 321 230
43 I mean... I knew it was wrong but why say anything? 1.7187 0.02336 1070 505 361 204
44 What echo? 1.7113 0.02407 942 432 350 160
45 I've looked at life from both sides now. This side is better. 1.7039 0.02560 895 436 289 170
46 It's easy ... just run really fast through a cat door. 1.7037 0.02512 901 432 306 163
47 They gave me a choice. Ask next time. 1.7026 0.02499 881 412 319 150
48 Catholic or Episcopal? 1.6961 0.02730 803 399 249 155
49 Wear the cone or the cone wears you. 1.6887 0.02728 742 359 258 125
50 Fauci said this way is much more effective 1.6877 0.02911 714 362 213 139
51 Have you seen my cone anywhere? 1.6859 0.02822 710 353 232 125
52 Couldn't take the echo. 1.6849 0.02768 714 343 253 118
53 Actually, mine's a lampshade. We just partied like it was 2019. 1.6829 0.02918 697 355 210 132
54 First time, huh? 1.6809 0.02807 680 325 247 108
55 I don't have stitches, I just like the look. 1.6801 0.02850 672 325 237 110
56 May the wind always be at your back 1.6797 0.02939 640 314 218 108
57 It serves no purpose but I get lots of 'likes.' 1.6771 0.02913 641 311 226 104
58 And just like that, I went from conic to iconic. 1.6593 0.03281 540 280 164 96
59 If it's any consolation, I can't see mine either. 1.6531 0.03274 516 265 166 85
60 I understand it's a fairly common occurrence with umbrellas. 1.6512 0.03271 496 248 173 75
61 It's not about protecting me; it's about protecting you. 1.6501 0.03321 503 261 159 83
62 This is nothing. You should see how my human wears a face mask. 1.6499 0.03502 477 252 140 85
63 My owner is dyslexic but he’s still a good boy 1.6492 0.03297 496 253 165 78
64 Trust me, you'll meet ten times more girl dogs this way. 1.6425 0.03462 456 235 149 72
65 I can think outside of the cone now. 1.6418 0.03455 455 234 150 71
66 I bribed the vet. 1.6380 0.03510 442 229 144 69
67 I’m still mourning the loss of RBG. 1.6353 0.03710 436 239 117 80
68 They said I have to wear it; they didn't say how. 1.6298 0.03545 416 214 142 60
69 Why, yes, my vet has switched to telemedicine. 1.6247 0.03647 397 207 132 58
70 My owners are dyslexic. 1.6220 0.03805 381 204 117 60
71 I was trying to turn off the table lamp, what's your deal 1.6215 0.03781 391 211 117 63
72 Gesundheit! 1.6130 0.04196 354 205 81 68
73 My vet believes in alternative medicine. 1.6116 0.03980 345 187 105 53
74 Next time, eat the instructions before he reads them. 1.6054 0.04151 332 186 91 55
75 Try it - you’ll never look back. 1.5882 0.04357 289 163 82 44
76 No, wrong, it's more frustrating: I can see it but still can't lick it! 1.5763 0.04652 262 153 67 42
77 I paid off the vet. 1.5753 0.04330 259 141 87 31
78 It’s not a cone, I just got ordained. 1.5753 0.04695 259 152 65 42
79 I asked for a cup too, but they gave me a cone. 1.5742 0.04404 256 141 83 32
80 I just stuck my head out the car window when we were going 70mph. 1.5731 0.04807 260 157 57 46
81 We're Jewish. 1.5643 0.04836 241 148 53 40
82 He said I had to wear it. He didn't say how. 1.5622 0.04815 233 136 63 34
83 It’s hard to run, but I can still lick my balls. 1.5560 0.04815 232 139 58 35
84 It’s not what you wear, but how you wear it. 1.5550 0.04730 218 123 69 26
85 My body, my choice. 1.5529 0.05178 208 125 51 32
86 Is yours an N95? Mine’s a 59N. 1.5509 0.04942 216 127 59 30
87 I haven’t done laundry in a while so I just wear it inside out. 1.5500 0.04744 220 126 67 27
88 My groomer told me it was more flattering if I wore it off my face. 1.5459 0.04506 218 120 77 21
89 Old school—I love it. 1.5401 0.04985 187 106 61 20
90 I can’t hear as well but I run faster. 1.5396 0.05162 202 122 51 29
91 Can't wait to see them try to put the leash on.! 1.5357 0.04979 196 114 59 23
92 Regardless, neither of us have testicles now, Brandon 1.5357 0.05285 196 120 47 29
93 I've found there are positive aspects to having stupid owners. 1.5312 0.04752 192 110 63 19
94 The hardest part of being a Priest is the vow I took to never again sniff another butt." 1.5294 0.05270 187 113 49 25
95 My owner has a convertible 1.5258 0.05073 194 116 54 24
96 It was so obvious. Just keep barking loud and use it as a megaphone until they can't stand it anymore! 1.5246 0.04828 183 108 56 19
97 What. can I say, I am an influencer. 1.5246 0.04828 183 108 57 18
98 Trust me. You'll see the advantage when you stick your head out the car window. 1.5243 0.05203 185 111 51 23
99 It's really just a gentle reminder - I'm on the honor system. 1.5222 0.05134 180 106 54 20
100 Run faster. 1.5198 0.05614 177 112 38 27
101 Don't spit in the wind and don't look up in the rain. 1.5174 0.05181 172 101 53 18
102 Pilgrim. You? 1.5146 0.05524 171 106 42 23
103 Yeah, mine’s an innie. 1.5141 0.05074 177 104 55 18
104 I got it on clearance. 1.5138 0.05054 181 107 55 19
105 Looks like I'm in the control group. 1.5134 0.05107 187 113 52 22
106 I heel to a Dutch master. 1.5120 0.05454 166 101 45 20
107 This way, my head gets stuck IN the food bag. 1.5119 0.05600 168 105 40 23
108 You should see how my owner wears his mask. 1.5116 0.05311 172 104 48 20
109 I finally got out the cat door 1.5115 0.05632 174 111 37 26
110 My owner also takes his mask off to talk. 1.5091 0.05273 165 98 50 17
111 I see we remember last night very differently. 1.5062 0.05344 162 97 48 17
112 It's in honor of RBG 1.5060 0.05455 166 102 44 20
113 My new girlfriend wanted me to get mine reversed 1.5057 0.05513 174 110 40 24
114 You coming....or going? 1.5031 0.05461 163 100 44 19
115 I finally turned my life around. 1.5029 0.05270 171 104 48 19
116 ¿Guard-dog? I prefer being avant-guard. 1.5000 0.05092 170 106 46 18
117 If you ask me, they're both wrong. 1.5000 0.05788 156 99 36 21
118 You wear the cone, don't let the cone wear you. 1.5000 0.05264 156 92 50 14
119 They didn't tell you it's reversible? 1.4971 0.05003 171 101 55 15
120 Cone of shame or cape of pride, it all depends on your perspective 1.4969 0.05774 159 105 32 22
121 You think this is bad? You should see how my owner wears his mask. 1.4967 0.05574 153 94 42 17
122 The best part is nobody can figure out if I'm a genius or an idiot. 1.4966 0.05493 147 88 45 14
123 It's my RBG Dissent collar. 1.4940 0.05472 168 106 41 21
124 Yes, my Veterinarian did get his degree online. 1.4937 0.05677 160 102 37 21
125 Just stick your head out the window. 1.4937 0.05589 158 101 37 20
126 My vet taught at Trump U. 1.4934 0.05904 152 98 33 21
127 Yes Bob, my people do struggle with IKEA projects. How did you know? 1.4933 0.05734 150 94 38 18
128 New cone, same shame. 1.4906 0.05418 159 98 44 17
129 Yeah, I did have my head out the window on the way here. How'd you know? 1.4906 0.05563 159 100 40 19
130 You be the nun, I’ll be the priest. 1.4904 0.05616 157 99 39 19
131 You know how he never follows the instructions? Well, it finally paid off. 1.4903 0.05670 155 98 38 19
132 I really should have seen this coming when he started wearing his baseball cap backwards. 1.4902 0.05800 153 98 35 20
133 I sneezed really hard 1.4901 0.05469 151 92 44 15
134 In their defence, there were no instructions, but my owners aren’t the squeakiest toys in the basket... 1.4899 0.05603 149 92 41 16
135 I’m a dog of the cloth. 1.4898 0.05822 147 93 36 18
136 I still can't lick myself, but at least I have my dignity. 1.4898 0.05901 147 94 34 19
137 Nah, I'm good. It's a lampshade. 1.4897 0.05963 145 93 33 19
138 Mine was actually a yoga injury: happened during downwards dog. 1.4861 0.06074 144 94 30 20
139 You bark. I'll bite. 1.4828 0.05962 145 94 32 19
140 It's really changed my outlook. 1.4792 0.05484 144 88 43 13
141 My ancestors came on the Mayflower. 1.4779 0.05713 136 84 39 13
142 Yeah, I still can't lick my balls, but at least I got my peripheral vision back. 1.4779 0.05901 136 86 35 15
143 Sticking your head out of the car window is the solution to every problem. 1.4779 0.05993 136 87 33 16
144 I like how it frames your face! 1.4762 0.05404 147 90 44 13
145 My homage to RBG. 1.4759 0.06118 145 97 27 21
146 Nope. No surgery, I'm just a really messy eater. 1.4745 0.05587 137 84 41 12
147 My therapist is encouraging me to practice thinking outside the cone. 1.4745 0.05682 137 85 39 13
148 If you wear it this way, it makes you look slimmer. 1.4741 0.05838 135 85 36 14
149 My vet is from Australia 1.4737 0.05902 133 84 35 14
150 Car ride. Open window. Voila! 1.4737 0.05902 133 84 35 14
151 You don't let the cone wear you........You wear the cone. 1.4733 0.06162 131 85 30 16
152 I saw it in Dogue. 1.4722 0.05742 144 92 36 16
153 I'm transitioning. 1.4710 0.05363 138 83 45 10
154 I volunteered for a clinical trial. 1.4710 0.05557 138 85 41 12
155 It’s called fashion, Bob. 1.4701 0.05821 134 87 32 15
156 Gorilla Glue. Don’t ask. 1.4697 0.05530 132 85 34 13
157 Vet school intern, why? 1.4688 0.05757 128 79 38 11
158 Oh, mine's not functional; I'm just accessorizing 1.4685 0.05770 143 92 35 16
159 My owner's an idiot. 1.4681 0.06002 141 93 30 18
160 Peripheral vision is superior but I still can’t lick anything worthwhile. 1.4679 0.05489 156 100 39 17
161 The cat did it 1.4676 0.05893 139 90 33 16
162 You know what they call the guy who graduates last from vet school? 1.4662 0.06182 133 88 28 17
163 Nice! You got the noise cancelling one. 1.4662 0.05703 133 83 38 12
164 So out of curiosity, is your toilet paper over or under? 1.4656 0.06159 131 88 26 17
165 I have an umbrella that does that. 1.4651 0.06132 129 84 30 15
166 Dude, that's not how you wear your mask. 1.4651 0.05828 129 81 36 12
167 ...and there’s virtually no turbulence when I’m car surfing. 1.4651 0.06033 129 83 32 14
168 Less Cone-of-Shame, more Super Hero Cape! 1.4648 0.06052 142 95 28 19
169 Just my luck to get a dyslexic vet. 1.4646 0.05787 127 79 37 11
170 Mine is from Ikea. 1.4646 0.05894 127 80 35 12
171 And when you graduate, you turn it this way. 1.4646 0.05894 127 80 35 12
172 Actually, I just do it to annoy my parents. 1.4627 0.05720 134 87 33 14
173 I had a good lawyer. 1.4627 0.05960 134 87 32 15
174 I can see you're not from around here. 1.4621 0.05832 132 84 35 13
175 This way you can see the mailman coming. 1.4621 0.05526 132 81 41 10
176 No, I had shoulder surgery. 1.4615 0.06095 130 85 30 15
177 Yup, My human wears his ball cap backwards too. 1.4609 0.05859 128 81 35 12
178 I got off with a warning. 1.4603 0.06032 126 81 32 13
179 Yeah, we were going about 60-65 miles per hour when it happened. 1.4597 0.05771 124 77 37 10
180 ‘This way I can’t lick my stitches but I can still drink from the toilet.’ 1.4597 0.06618 124 85 21 18
181 Hi Bert, word of advice, don't put your head out of a car window. 1.4593 0.06018 135 89 30 16
182 Dyslexic owner. Even better, she keeps telling everyone I'm a god. 1.4590 0.05895 122 79 31 12
183 Actually, Elizabethans wore them this way. 1.4589 0.05423 146 92 41 13
184 I think wearing it backwards makes my hips look slimmer. 1.4583 0.06251 120 78 29 13
185 Did you try turning it off and then turning it back on? 1.4583 0.06138 120 77 31 12
186 Fashion is all about risk. 1.4583 0.06138 120 82 24 14
187 It’s different, but it’s my small way to honor Ruth Bader Ginsberg 1.4574 0.06226 129 86 27 16
188 The pharmacist swore the generic was just as good as name brand 1.4574 0.06029 129 84 31 14
189 I ate through the bottom of my bowl. You? 1.4571 0.05587 140 89 38 13
190 I like it in a sort of RBG way. 1.4567 0.05995 127 82 32 13
191 It depends on whether you want to be Queen Elizabeth or the Pope 1.4567 0.06098 127 83 30 14
192 My owner works in aerodynamics, what does yours do? 1.4560 0.05957 125 80 33 12
193 I can’t lick there either. 1.4552 0.05567 134 84 39 11
194 I know, but this way I can still drink out of the toilet! 1.4552 0.05765 134 86 35 13
195 It’s alternative medicine. 1.4552 0.05465 134 83 41 10
196 I think my person is dyslexic. 1.4552 0.05447 145 92 40 13
197 Ignore the cat. You don’t look like a bundt pan. 1.4545 0.06320 121 80 27 14
198 Well, I’m three now, so they started letting me dress myself 1.4538 0.05892 130 84 33 13
199 It turns out my vet got his degree at Trump University. 1.4538 0.06509 119 80 24 15
200 I'm seeing a specialist. 1.4531 0.06061 128 84 30 14
201 So I just said to him, let me scratch my ears and I'll stop peeing in the house. 1.4530 0.06008 117 74 33 10
202 I had mine reversed on appeal. 1.4530 0.06130 117 75 31 11
203 I may not be able to lick my own balls but at least now I can lick yours. 1.4530 0.05884 117 73 35 9
204 One of us looks ridiculous. 1.4524 0.06027 126 82 31 13
205 I had the opposite problem 1.4516 0.06098 124 81 30 13
206 So, Gordo, first thing you do is find a really small doggie door. Then you give yourself a good running start . . . 1.4516 0.06309 124 83 26 15
207 I was blind but now I see. 1.4511 0.05491 133 83 40 10
208 It’s called inversion therapy. 1.4504 0.05957 131 86 31 14
209 Do it my way and they’ll never get a leash on you again. 1.4503 0.05614 151 100 34 17
210 Used the cat door. Worked like a charm. 1.4493 0.05733 138 90 34 14
211 I wonder which one of us got the placebo. 1.4488 0.05990 127 83 31 13
212 I have Dutch Masters. 1.4483 0.06519 116 78 24 14
213 It's easy. Just stick you head out the car window at about 65mph . 1.4483 0.06403 116 77 26 13
214 No, YOU look like a lamp shade. I look like a ballerina. 1.4480 0.05952 125 81 32 12
215 It's now a 'cone of esteem' 1.4463 0.05683 121 78 33 10
216 I guess we look pretty conical. 1.4463 0.05862 121 77 34 10
217 Why would you assume it goes that way? 1.4462 0.06086 130 87 28 15
218 Believe me, aerodynamics is a game-changer! 1.4460 0.05515 139 89 38 12
219 My human companion is dyslexic. 1.4454 0.06612 119 82 21 16
220 I'll text you the name of my veterinarian. 1.4453 0.06157 128 86 27 15
221 I got ordained while you were in the hospital. 1.4444 0.06243 117 77 28 12
222 Just don't look up when it rains. 1.4444 0.06126 126 84 28 14
223 This is nothing. You should see her umbrella. 1.4435 0.05948 115 73 33 9
224 Apparently I CAN learn new tricks. 1.4426 0.05826 122 78 34 10
225 After A Handmaid’s Tale, things changed. 1.4426 0.05941 122 79 32 11
226 I think it's a placebo. 1.4425 0.06151 113 73 30 10
227 It fogs up my glasses. 1.4419 0.05917 129 85 31 13
228 I can't lick my own nuts either, but at least I can lick yours. 1.4417 0.06239 120 80 27 13
229 First time? 1.4417 0.05893 120 77 33 10
230 I'm kind of an extrovert. 1.4417 0.05893 120 77 33 10
231 They say this way makes my butt look smaller 1.4414 0.06359 111 73 27 11
232 It’s business casual 1.4404 0.05746 109 72 28 9
233 As far as those hard-to-reach areas are concerned, maybe we could work out a deal. 1.4404 0.06443 109 72 26 11
234 My owners are huge RBG fans. 1.4404 0.06573 109 73 24 12
235 I was told it has a slimming effect. 1.4404 0.05746 109 67 36 6
236 I got the new iCone. 1.4400 0.05725 125 80 35 10
237 Together, there is no problem that we can't lick. 1.4400 0.05946 125 82 31 12
238 The tag said reversible. 1.4397 0.06512 116 79 23 14
239 I see someone forgot about casual Friday! 1.4386 0.05849 114 72 34 8
240 You tried eating yet? 1.4386 0.06109 114 74 30 10
241 Mine's not prescription, I just like the way it looks. 1.4386 0.05980 114 73 32 9
242 It’s my dissenting collar. 1.4380 0.05737 121 77 35 9
243 Take thee to a nunnery 1.4375 0.06314 112 74 27 11
244 I could never understand "less than" and "greater than" either. 1.4370 0.06160 119 79 28 12
245 So I told him I'll lick myself wherever I want. What's your story? 1.4364 0.06776 110 76 20 14
246 Deal. I scratch your butt, you scratch my ears. 1.4364 0.06396 110 73 26 11
247 I switch it around a block from the house. 1.4364 0.06652 110 75 22 13
248 Nah, I'm just a pilgrim. 1.4359 0.05994 117 76 31 10
249 The first time through the doggie door is the toughest 1.4359 0.05614 117 73 37 7
250 It’s called fashion, Kevin. 1.4355 0.06086 124 83 28 13
251 Bitches love it. 1.4352 0.06481 108 72 25 11
252 I’m Jewish. 1.4348 0.06780 115 81 18 16
253 I ate the instructions. 1.4340 0.06431 106 70 26 10
254 Apparently I had a better lawyer. 1.4340 0.06431 106 70 26 10
255 Does this make my tail look shorter? 1.4340 0.06146 106 68 30 8
256 I just don't believe the science. 1.4340 0.06838 106 73 20 13
257 I just got tired of hearing myself think. 1.4340 0.06431 106 70 26 10
258 Actually, my ancestors came over on the Mayflower. 1.4336 0.06143 113 74 29 10
259 Talk about windy! 1.4336 0.06143 113 74 29 10
260 So it’s backwards. What are you, the cone police? 1.4336 0.06517 113 77 23 13
261 Oh,they don't make me wear it. I just feel bad about my neck. 1.4333 0.06119 120 80 28 12
262 Yeah, and my owner wears his mask under his nose. 1.4324 0.06087 111 72 30 9
263 The vet is into reverse psychology. 1.4324 0.06220 111 73 28 10
264 You should see how their Ikea furniture turned out. 1.4324 0.06726 111 77 20 14
265 You must be Jewish 1.4322 0.06423 118 81 23 14
266 Morty you are such a traditionalist. 1.4322 0.06075 118 78 29 11
267 We can still kiss. 1.4312 0.06565 109 74 23 12
268 You just have to run through the doggie door really fast. 1.4310 0.06270 116 78 26 12
269 I got it on Amazon. You just flip it forward if someone comes into the room. I'll text you the link. 1.4309 0.06008 123 82 29 12
270 Careful, it's windy out there today. 1.4298 0.06191 121 82 26 13
271 No, no...on you it looks great. 1.4297 0.05730 128 84 33 11
272 I thought "Cone of Shame" was too negative. This is my "Collar of Confidence." 1.4286 0.06045 112 73 30 9
273 That is NOT how Fauci says to wear it. 1.4286 0.06610 105 71 23 11
274 Do I look thinner this way? 1.4286 0.06177 112 74 28 10
275 Are those noise canceling? 1.4286 0.06045 112 73 30 9
276 My analyst believes in reverse psychology. 1.4286 0.06327 105 69 27 9
277 Until you're vaccinated,you have to wear it that way. 1.4286 0.06882 105 73 19 13
278 They gave you the cone of shame? I got the collar of esteem. 1.4286 0.05794 119 77 33 9
279 It's called thinking outside the cone. 1.4286 0.06379 119 82 23 14
280 I use telemedicine 1.4286 0.06470 105 70 25 10
281 Pretty windy out. 1.4273 0.06255 110 73 27 10
282 I prefer this. It’s not so “Margaret Atwood”. 1.4272 0.06263 103 67 28 8
283 At least they get my food bowl right. 1.4259 0.06337 108 72 26 10
284 I still can't bite my stitches, but I can wear my earbuds again. 1.4259 0.06734 108 75 20 13
285 Reverse engineering. 1.4259 0.06337 108 72 26 10
286 It turns out I'm Jewish. Who knew? 1.4259 0.06605 108 74 22 12
287 I gotta guy who’ll do yours, no questions asked 1.4257 0.06347 101 66 27 8
288 I'm fine...but you should see the lamp! 1.4255 0.05625 141 95 32 14
289 It's an Yves Saint Bernard. Yours? 1.4252 0.05970 127 86 28 13
290 Are you coming or going? 1.4250 0.06111 120 81 27 12
291 I still can’t lick my butt but at least now I can lick yours 1.4248 0.06261 113 76 26 11
292 No, I don't hear an echo. 1.4234 0.06211 111 74 27 10
293 Sometimes innovation is indistinguishable from stupidity. 1.4234 0.06078 111 73 29 9
294 Good luck with the doggie door! 1.4234 0.06341 111 75 25 11
295 Turns out you can teach an old dog new tricks. 1.4231 0.06216 104 68 28 8
296 You don't ride in the car much, do you? 1.4220 0.05575 109 68 36 5
297 I got lucky; my owner is dyslexic. 1.4220 0.06015 109 71 30 8
298 Unlike the neutering, the collar is reversible. 1.4220 0.06291 109 78 18 13
299 He read the instructions and she put it on. 1.4219 0.06036 128 88 26 14
300 The dogs I follow on Instagram are wearing it this way now. 1.4219 0.06036 128 88 26 14
301 No, it’s a lampshade 1.4219 0.05933 128 87 28 13
302 I got it on Etsy. 1.4216 0.06299 102 67 27 8
303 Dyslexic owner 1.4216 0.06600 102 69 23 10
304 It's really improved my hindsight 1.4216 0.06451 102 68 25 9
305 Only seven Republicans voted that this was wrong, too. 1.4216 0.06745 102 70 21 11
306 This way I can still sniff your butt. 1.4215 0.06070 121 82 27 12
307 Right after dinner I go out and flip it around; they have no idea. 1.4215 0.06402 121 85 21 15
308 I’ll lick your balls if you’ll scratch my neck. 1.4215 0.06293 121 84 23 14
309 I was like you once. 1.4202 0.06026 119 80 28 11
310 I just told them "I'm a service dog - I need my peripheral vision" and they bought it! 1.4200 0.06989 100 70 18 12
311 No, I’m fine. I just joined a religious order. 1.4190 0.06459 105 71 24 10
312 Bitches dig it. 1.4190 0.06600 105 72 22 11
313 Sweet model! Is it noise-canceling, too!? 1.4190 0.06019 105 68 30 7
314 Hi. My name's Get-the-FU-K-off-the-Couch. What's yours? 1.4188 0.06564 117 83 19 15
315 The mandate just says I have to wear a cone. It doesn't say HOW I have to wear it. 1.4184 0.06310 98 64 27 7
316 I thought we were going as pilgrims, not handmaids. 1.4184 0.06635 98 66 23 9
317 It's reversible just like Lindsey Graham! 1.4184 0.06635 98 66 23 9
318 There are definite peripheral advantages, but to answer your question, no I still can't reach them. 1.4175 0.06548 103 70 23 10
319 Mine is reversible. 1.4175 0.06548 103 70 23 10
320 And that's why you don't put your head out of the car window. 1.4174 0.05791 115 75 32 8
321 My name is Otto too, but I spell it backwards. 1.4174 0.06049 115 77 28 10
322 Me? ...I was just ordained as an Anglican priest. 1.4167 0.06188 108 72 27 9
323 This is how Major Biden wears his. 1.4167 0.06188 108 72 27 9
324 Let’s pretend you’re from The Handmaid’s Tale and I’m from The Scarlet Letter!” 1.4167 0.06462 108 74 23 11
325 It’s not a great party until someone comes home with a lampshade on his head. 1.4167 0.06224 96 62 28 6
326 'Oh its fine like this , i got the vaccine' 1.4167 0.06724 108 76 19 13
327 Old dog, new trick 1.4167 0.06567 96 64 24 8
328 I'm no longer in recovery... Now I use it as a fashion statement. 1.4160 0.05586 125 82 34 9
329 Listen, just run as fast as you can through the doggie door. 1.4159 0.06499 113 79 21 13
330 Pretty windy out there. 1.4158 0.06335 101 67 26 8
331 I know...right? AND my owner doesn't wear a mask... 1.4158 0.06489 101 68 24 9
332 I know it's backward- but it reduces drag 1.4158 0.06489 101 68 24 9
333 But actually, we're exactly the same length! 1.4158 0.06932 101 71 18 12
334 It's considerably more aerodogmatic. 1.4153 0.05426 118 75 37 6
335 It turns out my master is dyslexic 1.4151 0.06269 106 71 26 9
336 They’re good providers, but they’re not the smartest. 1.4151 0.05666 106 67 34 5
337 Let me guess, your human doesn't know how to wear a mask, right? 1.4151 0.06269 106 71 26 9
338 I'm on parole! 1.4149 0.06311 94 61 27 6
339 Just put your head out of the window 1.4144 0.06331 111 76 24 11
340 I know it’s because you were neutered. For me it’s just a fashion statement” 1.4144 0.06067 111 74 28 9
341 I've caught the mailman everyday since I flipped this puppy around. 1.4141 0.06581 99 67 23 9
342 It’s the iCone 12! 1.4141 0.06260 99 65 27 7
343 It’s the new normal. 1.4141 0.06260 99 65 27 7
344 I can't remember much, but it was one wild party! 1.4138 0.05881 116 77 30 9
345 It works both ways. 1.4138 0.06131 116 79 26 11
346 My human calls me God...he's dyslexic 1.4135 0.06497 104 71 23 10
347 The Cat helped me. 1.4135 0.06051 104 68 29 7
348 You got the French Cuff...nice! 1.4135 0.06203 104 69 27 8
349 I like to think of "veterinarian's orders" to be more like, "suggested guidelines." 1.4135 0.06639 104 72 21 11
350 You are correct. The human I was assigned is a fucking moron. 1.4132 0.06393 121 86 20 15
351 I also like to bark up the wrong tree. 1.4128 0.06414 109 75 23 11
352 To keep you from licking your what...? 1.4124 0.06835 97 67 20 10
353 Mine lets you drink from the toilet! 1.4124 0.06346 97 64 26 7
354 Don't panic, your ass is still there. 1.4124 0.06513 97 65 24 8
355 Yeah? Well you look like a shuttlecock! 1.4124 0.06175 97 63 28 6
356 Oh, I got the Democratic collar. You got the Republican one. 1.4124 0.06835 97 67 20 10
357 I've always been bad with IKEA instructions. 1.4124 0.06676 97 66 22 9
358 I think you’ll find that you, my friend, are the one who looks ridiculous. 1.4124 0.06346 97 64 26 7
359 This is for when I'm riding in the car. 1.4118 0.06438 102 69 24 9
360 If it makes you feel any better, I’m pretty sure I got the placebo. 1.4118 0.06016 119 81 27 11
361 Don’t worry, even the humans don’t wear their protective gear correctly. 1.4118 0.06361 119 84 21 14
362 I don't trust "medical experts". 1.4118 0.06438 102 69 24 9
363 Bite me. 1.4118 0.06733 102 71 20 11
364 New vet? 1.4118 0.06286 102 68 26 8
365 Tell you what . . . you lick mine and I'll lick yours. 1.4118 0.06733 102 71 20 11
366 Yours says, "I lick myself." Mine says, "I like myself." 1.4118 0.06588 102 70 22 10
367 They left the car window open when we were driving home from the vet 1.4118 0.06733 102 71 20 11
368 I know a guy that can turn things around for you. 1.4107 0.06536 112 79 20 13
369 If you'll scratch my ears, I'll scratch your back! 1.4107 0.06536 112 79 20 13
370 You're such a dork, Dad. 1.4105 0.06775 95 65 21 9
371 It’s easier to get through the cat door 1.4105 0.06436 95 63 25 7
372 It’s my homage to RBG. 1.4105 0.06608 95 64 23 8
373 I wear mine religiously. 1.4105 0.06260 95 62 27 6
374 We found the vet on Groupon. Why do you ask? 1.4100 0.06211 100 66 27 7
375 I guess now we know the difference between private and public pet care 1.4100 0.06371 100 67 25 8
376 I ate a lamp So what’s your excuse 1.4098 0.06132 122 85 24 13
377 I can’t chew my butt, but at least I can still drink out of the toilet. 1.4098 0.05907 122 83 28 11
378 Can you hear me now? 1.4095 0.06725 105 74 19 12
379 You know, I woke up one morning, looked in the mirror and said to myself, "Rex, are you wearing the cone, or is the cone wearing you?" 1.4095 0.06157 105 70 27 8
380 Just run through the doggie door at 50 miles an hour. Works every time. 1.4095 0.06304 105 71 25 9
381 Let's pretend you're a nun and I'm a priest. 1.4095 0.06157 105 70 27 8
382 Easy. Just go through a cat door. 1.4094 0.05847 127 87 28 12
383 Either way you can't lick your butt. 1.4091 0.05890 110 75 26 9
384 Wait until you hit the highway—then stick your head out the window. 1.4086 0.06706 93 63 22 8
385 OK, so the second they take their eyes off of you, I'll show you exactly what to do. 1.4082 0.06460 98 66 24 8
386 Just get a vet who’s a dog. Problem solved. 1.4082 0.06460 98 66 24 8
387 Trust me, you don't want to see whats going on down there. 1.4082 0.06460 98 66 24 8
388 This is the first step of turning my life around. 1.4078 0.06535 103 71 22 10
389 Your human probably doesn’t wear his mask right either. 1.4078 0.06237 103 69 26 8
390 I call this look the RBG 1.4077 0.06050 130 92 23 15
391 Yup,new intern at the vets. What's worse is that the thermometer is still in there. 1.4074 0.06583 108 76 20 12
392 S’up bitch? 1.4074 0.06314 108 74 24 10
393 Wow, is that Victorian? 1.4071 0.05981 113 76 28 9
394 We were doing 80 on the highway, and I stuck my head out. 1.4068 0.06046 118 81 26 11
395 Turns out, those ones were designed by cats. 1.4066 0.07326 91 65 15 11
396 It's called "Oppositional Defiant Disorder". 1.4066 0.07157 91 64 17 10
397 This is my own interpretation. 1.4065 0.05637 123 82 32 9
398 Lucky me, I got the intern. 1.4062 0.06030 96 62 29 5
399 Do you think they'll notice we've broken the lamps? 1.4062 0.06718 96 66 21 9
400 I got a religious exemption. 1.4062 0.05915 128 89 26 13
401 My master is collar-blind. 1.4062 0.06879 96 67 19 10
402 With your head out the window at 60 mph, it makes all the difference. 1.4062 0.06552 96 65 23 8
403 I think it’s slimming 1.4062 0.06383 96 64 25 7
404 I’m so over self-harm. 1.4059 0.06163 101 67 27 7
405 It took some barking but in the end, I got my way. 1.4059 0.06163 101 67 27 7
406 You can't reach it with this one on either. 1.4059 0.06627 101 70 21 10
407 'Just stick your head out the car window' 1.4057 0.06537 106 74 21 11
408 Yours is a vet job. Mine is haute couture. 1.4057 0.06398 106 73 23 10
409 You get a better WiFi signal if you wear it this way. 1.4057 0.06110 106 71 27 8
410 Honestly, I find the Jacobean collar much more flattering on Zoom calls. 1.4052 0.05996 116 79 27 10
411 I have a HUGE favor to ask... 1.4043 0.06474 94 63 24 7
412 Oh, I wear mine ironically. 1.4043 0.06295 94 62 26 6
413 The instructions were in Hebrew. 1.4043 0.06984 94 66 18 10
414 No no. First you knock the lamp over, then you walk into it from the base UP!" 1.4043 0.06295 94 62 26 6
415 That was some party, eh? 1.4043 0.06474 94 63 24 7
416 Oh, yeah, it’s much more dynamic!” “Wow, I am flabbergasted. I can’t believe we’ve been wearing them backwards this whole time... 1.4043 0.06818 94 65 20 9
417 Well we can’t both be right. 1.4043 0.05920 94 60 30 4
418 I got mine from the lamp. 1.4040 0.06408 99 67 24 8
419 You look like Handmaid's Tale. I look like Wonder Woman. That's the difference. 1.4040 0.06245 99 66 26 7
420 Uh oh, here she comes! Just kidding. 1.4040 0.06408 99 67 24 8
421 WOW I LOVE YOUR RETRO STYLE! 1.4040 0.06722 99 69 20 10
422 How quaint! You have the old collar design. This is the newest from Paris. 1.4040 0.06408 99 67 24 8
423 next time alert me before you sneeze 1.4040 0.06874 99 70 18 11
424 I stuck my head out the car window like I normally do, next thing I knew, whoosh. 1.4040 0.06567 99 68 22 9
425 I know after the neutering we have less energy, but this way at least I'm more aerodynamic.. 1.4038 0.06190 104 70 26 8
426 I slipped the vet $20. 1.4037 0.06130 109 74 26 9
427 My vet used to work at NASA. 1.4037 0.06130 109 74 26 9
428 No. I'm in the ministry. 1.4037 0.05846 109 72 30 7
429 Mine’s bespoke 1.4022 0.05998 92 59 29 4
430 You just have to find wrought-iron fence with the right spacing and take a run at it. 1.4022 0.06384 92 61 25 6
431 My owner is dyslexic. 1.4021 0.06661 97 67 21 9
432 It's easy. Just adjust your privacy setting. 1.4021 0.06821 97 68 19 10
433 I just waited till we got on the thruway, stuck my head out the window, and bang! Snapped right back. 1.4021 0.06159 97 64 27 6
434 You really should get a second opinion. 1.4021 0.06661 97 67 21 9
435 They took my dignity, but they can never have my flair. 1.4021 0.06498 97 66 23 8
436 If my butt smelled like yours I would wear that lamp shade backwards too! 1.4021 0.06821 97 68 19 10
437 So if you can just go ahead and scratch my nose I’ll be more than happy to lick those stitches of yours 1.4021 0.06661 97 67 21 9
438 I’m an influencer 1.4021 0.05982 97 63 29 5
439 Nobody pops their collar anymore, dad! 1.4021 0.06661 97 67 21 9
440 I’m gender mischievous, you? 1.4020 0.06272 102 69 25 8
441 Well you can still kiss mine. 1.4020 0.06720 102 72 19 11
442 I notice I get a better signal this way 1.4020 0.06424 102 70 23 9
443 Either way,we can’t reach it. 1.4019 0.06349 107 74 23 10
444 I decided my diagnosis wouldn’t define me. 1.4019 0.06209 107 73 25 9
445 I just had to promise them I wouldn’t lick my butt in front of company. 1.4000 0.06085 110 75 26 9
446 That's a hell of sneeze you got there buddy. 1.4000 0.06419 95 64 24 7
447 I say we're a perfect fit. 1.4000 0.06290 105 72 24 9
448 My owner never reads instructions. 1.4000 0.06290 105 72 24 9
449 Don't worry, I can lick your balls 1.4000 0.07083 95 68 16 11
450 What do you mean: 'that's like wearing my mask beneath my nose'? 1.4000 0.06477 90 60 24 6
451 My vet graduated from Trump University. 1.4000 0.06923 95 67 18 10
452 Just stick your head out the window and when she hits the onramp, boom! It'll happen. 1.4000 0.06151 115 80 24 11
453 No, I'm not just being different, I just got tired of walking through the dog door backwards. 1.4000 0.06419 95 64 24 7
454 I wear it this way so my owner looks like the idiot. 1.4000 0.06026 115 79 26 10
455 I call it thinking outside the cone. 1.4000 0.06195 100 67 26 7
456 Obviously you're still thinking inside the cone. 1.4000 0.06477 90 60 24 6
457 I can only imagine how your owner wears his mask. 1.4000 0.06356 100 68 24 8
458 All cones matter 1.4000 0.06356 100 68 24 8
459 If you hit their shins enough with it they’ll change it i promise 1.4000 0.06356 100 68 24 8
460 "..so I stuck my head out the car window.. 1.3981 0.06374 103 71 23 9
461 I liked The Flying Nun better than TheHandmaid'sTale. 1.3981 0.06521 103 72 21 10
462 My owner is in to alternative medicine. 1.3980 0.06763 98 69 19 10
463 Can I help you scratch somewhere? 1.3980 0.06279 98 66 25 7
464 I got ordained. 1.3980 0.05755 98 68 23 7
465 I take after my human on these things. She wears her mask under her nose. 1.3980 0.06279 98 66 25 7
466 My bark doesn't carry like it used to. 1.3978 0.06512 93 63 23 7
467 It's totally legal in Florida. 1.3978 0.06512 93 63 23 7
468 My pet parent is a moron. 1.3978 0.06142 93 61 27 5
469 I prefer the innie rather than the outie. 1.3978 0.06142 93 61 27 5
470 You need to show them who's boss. 1.3978 0.06512 93 63 23 7
471 Yeah, I know. My owner doesn’t know how to put his own mask on either. 1.3977 0.06769 88 60 21 7
472 You see, I'm the Avant-Garde Dog. 1.3977 0.06959 88 61 19 8
473 Yeah, yeah. I know my guy wears a mask on his chin 1.3977 0.06769 88 60 21 7
474 I thought they asked if I wanted a bone 1.3977 0.07325 88 63 15 10
475 I find it works better this way for Zoom meetings. 1.3964 0.06306 111 78 22 11
476 No, it’s on right. I entered the priesthood. 1.3962 0.06096 106 72 26 8
477 I know I'm not social distancing, but I missed the smells. 1.3962 0.05308 106 67 36 3
478 My veterinarian is Australian. 1.3962 0.05947 106 71 28 7
479 Just trying to make fetch happen 1.3962 0.05475 106 73 26 7
480 No problem, just stick your head out the car window. 1.3960 0.07047 101 74 14 13
481 It's my tribute to RBG. 1.3960 0.06760 101 72 18 11
482 Surgery? This my dog bowl... 1.3960 0.06461 101 70 22 9
483 When they roll down the window, stick your head out. 1.3958 0.06536 96 66 22 8
484 The aerodynamics when I stick my head out the window now are amazing! 1.3958 0.06536 96 66 22 8
485 You don't need to avoid watching the news any longer,Trump's gone. 1.3958 0.06863 96 68 18 10
486 It was fine until we got on the highway. 1.3956 0.06227 91 60 26 5
487 Next time ask for the new guy. 1.3956 0.06420 91 61 24 6
488 I see you're still wearing last season's cone. 1.3956 0.06608 91 62 22 7
489 It’s not on backwards! It’s a lampshade and I’m drunk! 1.3956 0.06608 91 62 22 7
490 I’ve been seeing an alternative veterinarian. 1.3956 0.06608 91 62 22 7
491 Don't go outside, it's windy as hell. 1.3956 0.06967 91 64 18 9
492 Do you believe in destiny? 1.3956 0.06790 91 63 20 8
493 But, I can still reach my nuts! 1.3956 0.07141 91 65 16 10
494 You know, my human wears his mask on his chin 1.3956 0.06608 91 62 22 7
495 Squirrel at the lampshade store 1.3953 0.06674 86 58 22 6
496 Because it makes me look thinner! 1.3950 0.05993 119 83 25 11
497 You should see where he put the thermometer. 1.3945 0.05832 109 73 29 7
498 What I lose in efficacy I've regained in quality of life. 1.3942 0.06021 104 70 27 7
499 Wicked wind! 1.3942 0.06324 104 72 23 9
500 Windy day! 1.3939 0.06551 99 69 21 9
501 I refuse to suffer for fashion 1.3939 0.06061 99 66 27 6
502 Don't you love that it's reversible? 1.3939 0.06392 99 68 23 8
503 Don’t go down 5th Avenue, way too windy 1.3939 0.06392 99 70 20 9
504 It’s that wonderful, head-out-the-window kinda feeling. 1.3939 0.06392 99 68 23 8
505 It's called alternative medicine." 1.3937 0.06037 127 91 22 14
506 I hid the directions. 1.3936 0.06801 94 66 19 9
507 I find this more aerodynamic when chasing squirrels! 1.3936 0.05703 94 60 31 3
508 I'm having the lobster. 1.3936 0.06456 94 64 23 7
509 You look so sad. What can I lick for you? 1.3934 0.05768 122 84 28 10
510 .....and I was walking headlong into this blast of wind. 1.3933 0.06707 89 61 21 7
511 Yes, she does drive a convertible. How did you guess? 1.3933 0.06707 89 61 21 7
512 I just wear mine as a conversation starter. 1.3933 0.06707 89 61 21 7
513 Rottweiler-Glechon-Beagle. But you can call me RGB. 1.3933 0.06514 89 60 23 6
514 I turned it into a bib. 1.3933 0.06895 89 62 19 8
515 Just think of it like a baseball cap. It’s cool if you wear it backwards! 1.3933 0.06110 89 58 27 4
516 I know it's unconventional, but my vet also has a degree in physics. 1.3933 0.06895 89 62 19 8
517 Race you to the park? 1.3933 0.06514 89 60 23 6
518 You will have to speak louder. 1.3926 0.05473 135 93 31 11
519 Lucky for me, my human never reads the instruction manual. 1.3925 0.05902 107 72 28 7
520 I flip mine every 2 hours to get a nice, even tan. 1.3925 0.06607 107 77 18 12
521 ...And what pronouns do you use? 1.3925 0.06194 107 74 24 9
522 ... so just try it, you'll never look back! 1.3922 0.05937 102 68 28 6
523 They took your manhood, don’t let them take your style too 1.3922 0.06098 102 69 26 7
524 This is nothing. You should see how my owner wears his mask. 1.3918 0.06645 97 68 20 9
525 It’s not what you wear. It’s how you wear it. 1.3918 0.06313 97 66 24 7
526 You say poTAYto, and I say poTAHto. 1.3918 0.06804 97 69 18 10
527 I find that I get better mileage. 1.3918 0.05963 97 64 28 5
528 Does it improve your hearing when you wear it that way? 1.3918 0.06481 97 67 22 8
529 Hey! You're coneservative,huh? 1.3918 0.06141 97 65 26 6
530 You've got to know how to ask. 1.3913 0.06012 115 80 25 10
531 Yours says 'Cone of Shame.' Mine says 'Life of the Party.' 1.3913 0.06729 92 64 20 8
532 It totally cuts down on wind drag. 1.3913 0.06365 92 62 24 6
533 The aerodynamics alone make it a game changer. 1.3913 0.06365 92 62 24 6
534 I’ve been hanging out the car window all day 1.3913 0.06729 92 64 20 8
535 I don't do doggie style. 1.3913 0.06729 92 64 20 8
536 Yeah, I know it's backwards, but my owners also refuse to wear masks. 1.3913 0.06550 92 63 22 7
537 But it’s casual Friday 1.3913 0.05341 115 75 35 5
538 I think I got Moderna. 1.3913 0.06729 92 64 20 8
539 I run really really fast 1.3913 0.06905 92 65 18 9
540 It’s always “sit” and “stay” but never “innovate” 1.3913 0.06550 92 63 22 7
541 It's all behind me now. 1.3913 0.06174 92 61 26 5
542 Apparently I have gas. 1.3909 0.06207 110 77 23 10
543 My owners are into alternative medicine 1.3908 0.06195 87 57 26 4
544 I got tired of all the petting. 1.3908 0.07005 87 61 18 8
545 Don't tell me, it's on backwards isn't it... 1.3908 0.05975 87 56 28 3
546 Yeah, I can see better but I still can't lick my balls. 1.3906 0.05997 128 92 22 14
547 Just stick your head out the car window like you normally would and... voila. 1.3905 0.05975 105 71 27 7
548 You’re missing the point, I didn’t just take it off, I inverted it! 1.3905 0.06127 105 72 25 8
549 It’s more slimming, don’t you think? 1.3905 0.05975 105 71 27 7
550 I don't quite understand myself. I was chasing my tail. I caught it. And now I think I'm inside out. 1.3900 0.06178 100 68 25 7
551 I'm going into the seminary. 1.3900 0.06340 100 69 23 8
552 No, I've not been to the vet, I'm the vicar's dog 1.3895 0.06401 95 65 23 7
553 My vet got really freaked out by The Handmaid's Tale. 1.3895 0.06574 95 66 21 8
554 I attacked the lampshade from below 1.3895 0.06224 95 64 25 6
555 The vet? No, I knocked the lamp over. 1.3895 0.06906 95 68 17 10
556 You want me to lick what? 1.3895 0.06401 95 65 23 7
557 It's after Labor Day. 1.3895 0.06906 95 68 17 10
558 Same concept. More aerodynamic. 1.3895 0.05658 95 61 31 3
559 You should see what they did to Schrödinger's cat. 1.3895 0.06574 95 66 21 8
560 ...And I love that it's reversible, don't you? 1.3889 0.06147 108 75 24 9
561 Either way--it scares the hell out of cats! 1.3889 0.06832 90 63 19 8
562 My vet’s dyslectic! 1.3889 0.06647 90 62 21 7
563 Next time you are in the car, stick your head out the window. 1.3889 0.05743 126 88 27 11
564 It doesn’t fog up my glasses this way 1.3889 0.06647 90 62 21 7
565 Let me guess: The Handmaid's Tale? 1.3889 0.06832 90 63 19 8
566 We’re calling it the funnel of pride now. Cone of shame was tested very negatively with our focus groups. 1.3889 0.06286 108 76 22 10
567 I know it’s wrong but my owner is dyslexic 1.3883 0.06358 103 72 22 9
568 Better visibility, but just as hard to lick anything important. 1.3883 0.06051 103 70 26 7
569 My owner smokes a lot of weed. 1.3883 0.06650 103 74 18 11
570 This has really boosted my mileage. 1.3883 0.06358 103 72 22 9
571 This is how the dogs in Paris are wearing them. 1.3883 0.06051 103 70 26 7
572 You know me; the window was down and when he sped up to 60, voila. 1.3883 0.05891 103 69 28 6
573 I’ve joined a different order. 1.3883 0.06358 103 72 22 9
574 Oh, that’s why insurance wouldn’t cover mine. 1.3883 0.05728 103 68 30 5
575 It has to do with 5G. 1.3883 0.06358 103 72 22 9
576 If you walk backwards, they don't even notice. 1.3882 0.06714 85 58 21 6
577 So,you went with satellite dish ... 1.3882 0.06920 85 59 19 7
578 I chased the cat out the doggy door. 1.3879 0.05843 116 80 27 9
579 All the cool canines are doing it, Dad. 1.3878 0.05916 98 65 28 5
580 I do want to support you. I just don't see why we both need to be miserable. 1.3878 0.06427 98 68 22 8
581 Try it. Your car will get 10% better gas mileage. 1.3878 0.06901 98 71 16 11
582 I’ll give you his number. Most accommodating vet you’ll ever meet. 1.3871 0.06492 93 64 22 7
583 Go to Youtube, key in 'canine cone reversal' and click on top tutorial. 1.3871 0.06492 93 64 22 7
584 Well, this is how we wear them in Florida. 1.3871 0.06670 93 65 20 8
585 « It’s an homage to RBG. » 1.3871 0.06492 93 64 22 7
586 Trust me, it's very slimming 1.3871 0.06122 93 62 26 5
587 Next time slip your vet a $20. 1.3871 0.06310 93 63 24 6
588 I call it a Ginsberg collar... 1.3871 0.05727 93 60 30 3
589 My ancestor was on the Mayflower 1.3871 0.06492 93 64 22 7
590 I find it reduces the roaring in your ears 1.3871 0.06492 93 64 22 7
591 This is actually the way the CDC recommends it 1.3871 0.06670 93 65 20 8
592 They put the toilet paper on backwards too. 1.3868 0.05930 106 72 27 7
593 I negotiated. 1.3868 0.06080 106 73 25 8
594 Why do they love dressing us in lampshades? 1.3868 0.06080 106 73 25 8
595 Well, I think Justice Ginsburg would have really liked it. 1.3868 0.05930 106 72 27 7
596 It's the latest thing -- aerodynamically designed and provides better peripheral vision. 1.3866 0.05483 119 80 32 7
597 I heard they wear it this way in Europe! 1.3864 0.06349 88 59 24 5
598 My owner is an anti-masker. What did you expect? 1.3864 0.06939 88 62 18 8
599 Hello, what are your pronouns? 1.3864 0.06349 88 59 24 5
600 Is your owner a Veterinarian? Mine's a Priest. 1.3864 0.06939 88 62 18 8
601 You got what I had. 1.3864 0.06033 88 60 23 5
602 Dude, you won't believe how windy it is outside. 1.3864 0.06748 88 61 20 7
603 Yes,I did get dressed in the dark this morning. Why do you ask? 1.3861 0.06129 101 69 25 7
604 Just got neutered, huh? I'm here 'cause I ate a lamp. 1.3861 0.06596 101 72 19 10
605 All I did was stick my head out the car window. 1.3861 0.06288 101 70 23 8
606 She did fall for "it's backwards day" again. 1.3861 0.06744 101 73 17 11
607 And then he said that I still had two more wishes left. 1.3855 0.07033 83 58 18 7
608 Very conical. 1.3855 0.07239 83 59 16 8
609 I prefer to be seen as an influencer 1.3855 0.07033 83 58 18 7
610 Have you already started watching The Handmaid's Tale? 1.3855 0.07033 83 58 18 7
611 It serves the same purpose but this way I can still bite people. 1.3854 0.06684 96 68 19 9
612 I know, I know. I just don’t have the balls to tell them. 1.3854 0.07159 96 71 13 12
613 Okay, you're a nun and I'm a pilgrim. The safeword is 'milkbones.' 1.3854 0.07004 96 70 15 11
614 Yeah, it’s a complete paradigm shift. 1.3854 0.06684 96 68 19 9
615 It gives me the illusion of speed. 1.3854 0.05992 96 64 27 5
616 Just stick your head out of the window on your next ride. 1.3854 0.06601 96 70 16 10
617 I find it more slimming ! 1.3846 0.06587 91 63 21 7
618 Let’s work together You scratch mine I’ll scratch yours 1.3846 0.06004 104 71 26 7
619 And you still wonder why I'm the alpha around here? 1.3846 0.06587 91 63 21 7
620 This is the Puritan style 1.3846 0.06948 91 65 17 9
621 ...and that’s how I got through the dog door. 1.3846 0.06006 91 60 27 4
622 I’m going with the Puritan look for spring. 1.3846 0.06158 104 72 24 8
623 How's that working for you with the doggie door? 1.3846 0.06587 91 63 21 7
624 That is so conical.. 1.3846 0.06587 91 63 21 7
625 I promised not to lick 1.3839 0.05915 112 80 22 10
626 Actually, mine is just a lamp shade. 1.3838 0.06210 99 68 24 7
627 Try sticking your head out the car window. 1.3838 0.06374 99 69 22 8
628 I told them it looked better this way and they fell for it. Need a lick? 1.3838 0.06689 99 71 18 10
629 My owner calls it the Cone of Embracing Vulnerability. 1.3838 0.06210 99 68 24 7
630 Now they are saying two cones might actually be better. 1.3837 0.06442 86 58 23 5
631 No, I won’t lick it for you. 1.3837 0.06651 86 59 21 6
632 It's still shameful. But it's slimming. 1.3830 0.06436 94 65 22 7
633 You have to think outside the cone. 1.3830 0.06611 94 66 20 8
634 You don't get out much, do you? 1.3830 0.06256 94 64 24 6
635 Can we just agree to disagree? 1.3830 0.06256 94 64 24 6
636 This is the cone of self-actualization. 1.3830 0.06611 94 66 20 8
637 Keep your head inside the car. 1.3830 0.06611 94 66 20 8
638 So...you're an introvert? 1.3830 0.06436 94 65 22 7
639 Yes, that’s very nice, but I prefer the Ruth Bader Ginsburg style. 1.3830 0.06256 94 64 24 6
640 Mine is the RBG model. 1.3828 0.05882 128 92 23 13
641 Yours is for introverts. 1.3827 0.07364 81 58 15 8
642 I got the idea from Ruth Bader Ginsberg. 1.3827 0.06932 81 56 19 6
643 I'm thinking outside of the cone. 1.3827 0.07151 81 57 17 7
644 Thank, God, I can still lick my balls. 1.3826 0.06247 115 83 20 12
645 If you walk into their legs enough they'll flip it for you, too. 1.3824 0.06238 102 73 20 9
646 That was a hell of a party! Sorry you ended up getting neutered. 1.3824 0.06080 102 70 25 7
647 It’s 2021 Tom, live a little. 1.3824 0.05752 102 68 29 5
648 It’s easy. You do the hokey pokey and you turn the cone around. 1.3824 0.06080 102 70 25 7
649 Didn't get the memo huh? 1.3820 0.06492 89 61 22 6
650 Мy owner considers reading instructions beneath his dignity. 1.3820 0.06874 89 63 18 8
651 It's for formal events. 1.3820 0.06686 89 62 20 7
652 Yeah, my guy believes in alternative medicine 1.3820 0.06874 89 63 18 8
653 You’ve just gotta broaden your horizons, bro. 1.3820 0.06492 89 61 22 6
654 So you scratch my back, and I’ll scratch yours? 1.3820 0.06292 89 60 24 5
655 So I gave up being a handmaid and became a nun.....not much difference really 1.3820 0.06292 89 65 16 8
656 Mine's just a fashion tribute to the late, great Justice Ruff Bader Ginsburg. 1.3814 0.06294 97 67 23 7
657 My vet practices alternative medicine. 1.3810 0.07556 84 62 12 10
658 If my owner can wear his mask under his nose, I can do this! 1.3810 0.05802 105 71 28 6
659 Just hold your nose and blow. 1.3810 0.06110 105 73 24 8
660 ...I know, mine was government issued. 1.3810 0.06539 84 57 22 5
661 I'll lick your butt, if you'll scratch my nose. 1.3810 0.06110 105 73 24 8
662 It's reversible! Who knew?! 1.3810 0.05802 105 71 28 6
663 It’s after 6. 1.3810 0.06755 84 58 20 6
664 It does wonders for my double chin. 1.3810 0.06755 84 58 20 6
665 I can get through doors like a boss. i just can't back up! 1.3810 0.06316 84 56 24 4
666 I think I figured it out 1.3810 0.06316 84 56 24 4
667 I know, I know... my owner is dyslexic! 1.3804 0.07056 92 67 15 10
668 You say cone of shame. I say collar of awesomeness! 1.3804 0.06152 92 62 25 5
669 Wait till you go for a drive and stick your head out the window. 1.3804 0.06529 92 64 21 7
670 You're right, you look stupid. 1.3800 0.06159 100 69 24 7
671 Does this make my neck look longer? 1.3800 0.06321 100 70 22 8
672 I don't know what you're weaing, but mine's a lamp shade. 1.3800 0.06159 100 69 24 7
673 Fauci says this way is better. 1.3800 0.06633 100 72 18 10
674 Yeah...they're dyslexic. 1.3800 0.06159 100 69 24 7
675 It's cut five minutes off my commute. 1.3800 0.06159 100 69 24 7
676 No, I can’t lick mine either. 1.3800 0.06159 100 69 24 7
677 So who's gonna sniff what? 1.3797 0.06814 79 54 20 5
678 Yours, Elizabethan. Mine, Dutch renaissance. 1.3797 0.06814 79 54 20 5
679 Zoom vet appointments rock. 1.3796 0.06131 108 76 23 9
680 I just can’t breathe as well when I wear it the right way! 1.3796 0.05537 108 77 23 8
681 You need to think outside the cone. 1.3796 0.06131 108 76 23 9
682 Told you my owner’s an idiot. 1.3796 0.06541 108 79 17 12
683 Haven't I taught you anything about being cool? 1.3793 0.06983 87 62 17 8
684 Docking sequence initiated. 1.3793 0.06383 87 59 23 5
685 And then it got REALLY windy. 1.3793 0.06983 87 62 17 8
686 He never reads the instructions 1.3793 0.05955 116 82 24 10
687 It comes off completely once I get the second vaccine shot. 1.3793 0.06983 87 62 17 8
688 Inversion therapy. I feel so liberated. You should try it. 1.3793 0.06983 87 62 17 8
689 I'm entering the convent so I can't see you anymore. 1.3793 0.06383 87 59 23 5
690 ...I live in Brooklyn now 1.3793 0.06589 87 60 21 6
691 Yeah, I saw it on TikTok 1.3793 0.07535 87 65 11 11
692 'I was just tired of the echo, mate!" 1.3793 0.06589 87 60 21 6
693 Insurance covered the materials, but not the labor. 1.3793 0.06383 87 59 23 5
694 OK, watch again. I'll do it slowly. 1.3789 0.06203 95 65 24 6
695 Who's to say everyone else isn't wearing it wrong. 1.3789 0.06203 95 65 24 6
696 It's easy! Just stick your head out the window. 1.3789 0.06554 95 67 20 8
697 Just freshening up my Zoom look a little. 1.3789 0.06381 95 66 22 7
698 I'm a lucky dog. My vet is dyslexic! 1.3789 0.06723 95 68 18 9
699 My veterinarian believes in reverse psychology. 1.3786 0.06634 103 75 17 11
700 Now can you hear me? 1.3786 0.05539 103 68 31 4
701 Don't look up when it rains. 1.3786 0.06340 103 73 21 9
702 No wonder you're getting better reception 1.3786 0.06033 103 71 25 7
703 Monday vs. Friday 1.3780 0.06640 82 56 21 5
704 They say to save the K9-95s for emotional support dogs. 1.3780 0.06863 82 57 19 6
705 Next time you're on the freeway just stick your head out the window. 1.3778 0.07168 90 66 14 10
706 Yeah, I upgraded from the Cone of Shame to the Cone of Triumph. 1.3778 0.06811 90 64 18 8
707 I was going more for an RBG look. 1.3778 0.06237 90 61 24 5
708 What are you looking at? You've never seen an innie before? 1.3778 0.06434 90 62 22 6
709 It was the vet tech's first day on the job. I didn't have the heart. 1.3778 0.06434 90 62 22 6
710 You can flip that thing around after your second vaccination. 1.3778 0.06033 90 60 26 4
711 Yes, it is windy outside. How'd you know? 1.3778 0.06237 90 61 24 5
712 Don' t look up in a rain storm. 1.3778 0.05823 90 61 25 4
713 I thought with Spring coming around I'd opt for the convertible model 1.3778 0.06530 90 65 17 8
714 I joined the ministry. 1.3778 0.06625 90 63 20 7
715 I'm fine, it's just a lampshade from the kennel office party. 1.3776 0.06728 98 71 17 10
716 That was some windstorm! 1.3776 0.06570 98 70 19 9
717 My owners are anti-maskers. 1.3776 0.06728 98 71 17 10
718 They give me a nice warm home and they feed me but they really are stupid. 1.3774 0.05912 106 73 26 7
719 I suppose I could lick them for you just this once. 1.3774 0.06062 106 74 24 8
720 One hellava New Year's party, eh? 1.3772 0.05487 114 77 31 6
721 I had a say in the matter 1.3765 0.06477 85 58 22 5
722 Is this a great synchronicity or what? We were meant to meet. 1.3765 0.06029 85 56 26 3
723 Mine also came in red but I couldn't tell the difference. 1.3765 0.06896 85 60 18 7
724 'Well, at least I don't collect rainwater.' 1.3765 0.06477 85 58 22 5
725 I stood in front of a fan for two hours 1.3765 0.07096 85 61 16 8
726 I wanted something that would bring out my eyes. 1.3765 0.06029 85 56 26 3
727 Everything changed when I realized you can roll down the window yourself! 1.3765 0.07291 85 62 14 9
728 Actually, it makes me faster. 1.3765 0.06690 85 59 20 6
729 Despite appearances, I'm listening. 1.3763 0.06099 93 63 25 5
730 If you saw the way my human wears his hat you would understand. 1.3763 0.06649 93 66 19 8
731 So I take it you haven't gotten your vaccine yet. 1.3763 0.06649 93 66 19 8
732 You look ridiculous, I told you not to go to a walk-in clinic. 1.3763 0.06471 93 65 21 7
733 It's completely changed my perspective. 1.3763 0.06649 93 66 19 8
734 Aerodynamically superior at the car window. 1.3763 0.06471 93 65 21 7
735 It's Prada 1.3762 0.05946 101 69 26 6
736 You were playing with a lamp too? 1.3762 0.06872 101 75 14 12
737 And it really cuts down on wind resistance. 1.3762 0.05603 101 67 30 4
738 I didn't have surgery. I just think I look cool! 1.3761 0.06222 109 78 21 10
739 Haven't heard this well in years. 1.3750 0.06497 96 68 20 8
740 I get walked on the road less traveled. 1.3750 0.06497 96 68 20 8
741 My owner doesn't wear his mask over his nose either! 1.3750 0.07199 80 57 16 7
742 You can't believe how windy it was! 1.3750 0.06725 88 62 19 7
743 No - just Google it - the instructions are online. 1.3750 0.06139 104 73 23 8
744 I just asked. 1.3750 0.07199 80 57 16 7
745 We're Quakers. 1.3750 0.05498 104 69 31 4
746 Yes, of course, it cost extra. 1.3750 0.06917 88 63 17 8
747 My people haven't noticed yet. Want me to lick that for you? 1.3750 0.06917 88 63 17 8
748 Gesundheit, and thank you. 1.3750 0.07292 96 73 10 13
749 I’m a pilgrim. Let me guess: you’re a lampshade? 1.3750 0.06826 96 70 16 10
750 My vet's into alternative medicine 1.3750 0.06528 88 61 21 6
751 This way's better on a windy day. 1.3750 0.06151 96 66 24 6
752 My human drinks. 1.3750 0.06506 80 54 22 4
753 I am Beldar, I come from France 1.3750 0.06000 80 52 26 2
754 I'm not injured, just starved for attention. 1.3750 0.06917 88 63 17 8
755 It was slowing me down” 1.3750 0.06290 104 74 21 9
756 See what slipping the vet a $20 gets ya? 1.3737 0.06190 99 69 23 7
757 Your vet is an idiot. 1.3737 0.06354 99 70 21 8
758 I still can't get to mine, but I'd be happy to take care of yours! 1.3737 0.06354 99 70 21 8
759 Actually, it's a ruff. 1.3737 0.06021 99 68 25 6
760 Well, MY family came over on the Mayflower! 1.3737 0.06354 99 70 21 8
761 I am starting a revolution. 1.3737 0.06021 99 68 25 6
762 Admit it, we’re cut out for each other! 1.3737 0.06021 99 68 25 6
763 Your human doesn't wear a mask properly, does he? 1.3736 0.06376 91 63 22 6
764 The key is to find a good headwind. 1.3736 0.06748 91 65 18 8
765 Well, I’m an Australian Shepherd so our cones go the other way. 1.3736 0.06748 91 65 18 8
766 You'll see. Just open that car window ... You only make that mistake once! 1.3736 0.06376 91 63 22 6
767 The wind was just awful out there today. 1.3736 0.06376 91 63 22 6
768 I can't scratch my ears, but at least I can lick myself. 1.3736 0.06565 91 64 20 7
769 I'm telling you, ever since I made the switch I've been reading more, eating healthy, working on my self affirmations, keeping in touch with my parents – I was hesitant too at first, but you really gotta try this one out. 1.3736 0.06565 91 64 20 7
770 Dude, it's about aerodynamics. 1.3735 0.06112 83 55 25 3
771 I don’t know... It depends on how you handle it. 1.3735 0.06112 83 55 25 3
772 It's backwards day at my kennel. 1.3735 0.06795 83 58 19 6
773 I mean it is more aerodynamic, but I still can’t sniff my butt 1.3735 0.07415 83 61 13 9
774 I sprained my neck in the Iditarod, you? 1.3727 0.06038 110 78 23 9
775 It all comes down to function verses fashion. 1.3727 0.05899 110 77 25 8
776 „Well, I was strolling around the internet yesterday and came across this very interesting article on Feng Shui.“ 1.3727 0.06309 110 80 19 11
777 I tried that- I kept getting blown into the back seat. 1.3725 0.06061 102 71 24 7
778 Stick your head out the window as far as you can. 1.3725 0.06671 102 75 16 11
779 Going 60 with my head out the window, that's how. 1.3725 0.06373 102 73 20 9
780 Hey, yours is an outie! 1.3725 0.06219 102 72 22 8
781 Look on the bright side. At least you can still drag your butt across the carpet. 1.3725 0.06219 102 72 22 8
782 Wow! You are a cone half empty kind of person, aren't you? 1.3725 0.06061 102 71 24 7
783 Nah, I just poked my head into a lamp. 1.3723 0.06590 94 67 19 8
784 I heard on Fox News this is better than the vaccine 1.3723 0.06590 94 67 19 8
785 We'll don't you look stupid. 1.3723 0.06590 94 67 19 8
786 I got it at IKEA and put it together myself. Why? 1.3723 0.06414 94 66 21 7
787 I've been studying aerodynamics. 1.3723 0.06047 94 64 25 5
788 All you have to do is find a really small doggie door. 1.3723 0.06414 94 66 21 7
789 He also puts food in the water bowl 1.3723 0.06590 94 67 19 8
790 My owner wears his mask under his nose 1.3721 0.06829 86 61 18 7
791 No, you look great! Off-the-shoulder really suits you. 1.3721 0.06626 86 60 20 6
792 - This is how they are styling it these days. 1.3721 0.06416 86 59 22 5
793 It's the equivalent of a human wearing a mask under their nose. 1.3721 0.07219 86 63 14 9
794 You're Elizabethan, I'm Puritan. 1.3721 0.06416 86 59 22 5
795 I don’t mind it, I actually find it quite slimming. 1.3721 0.06829 86 61 18 7
796 ...they told me it’s called a lobotomy - what did you get done?! 1.3721 0.06416 86 59 22 5
797 As Quakers we try to avoid doggerl. 1.3718 0.07093 78 55 17 6
798 I have a job interview 1.3717 0.05922 113 80 24 9
799 The homework I ate was about dyslexia. 1.3714 0.06527 105 77 17 11
800 Have you heard my vet’s been sued for malpractice? 1.3714 0.06091 105 74 23 8
801 Oh nothing like that, I just broke a lamp. 1.3711 0.05920 97 66 26 5
802 Does my bum look big in this? 1.3711 0.06099 97 67 24 6
803 You didn't know they're reversible? 1.3711 0.06099 97 67 24 6
804 Mine’s a Tesla 1.3711 0.06442 97 69 20 8
805 I really feel like I've turned things around. 1.3711 0.05920 97 66 26 5
806 this will improve your mileage immensely 1.3711 0.05920 97 66 26 5
807 I didn't go to the vet, I went to the nunnery. 1.3711 0.06273 97 68 22 7
808 I just wish I'd stuck my head out the window sooner. 1.3711 0.06606 97 70 18 9
809 Wearing it that way is sooo last season 1.3711 0.06099 97 67 24 6
810 Come on Boomer, you’ve got to think out of the cone! 1.3710 0.05117 124 91 23 10
811 My vet did undergrad at the New School. 1.3708 0.06468 89 62 21 6
812 It's more slimming if you wear it this way. 1.3708 0.06060 89 60 25 4
813 My master works in fashion. 1.3708 0.06851 89 64 17 8
814 It all depends on your interpretation of the Handmaids Tail. 1.3708 0.06662 89 63 19 7
815 My owner is an aeronautical engineer. 1.3708 0.06468 89 62 21 6
816 You will never make it out the doggie door. 1.3708 0.06468 89 62 21 6
817 I didn’t know it was reversible! 1.3707 0.05548 116 80 29 7
818 What do you mean I’m wearing it wrong? You can’t even lick your junk with it on like that. 1.3707 0.06425 116 87 15 14
819 It really doesn't matter, I can't reach mine either. 1.3704 0.07545 81 60 12 9
820 I hate fashion week! 1.3704 0.07124 81 58 16 7
821 I'm a Pilgrim now. 1.3704 0.07124 81 58 16 7
822 Cup or cone? 1.3704 0.07338 81 59 14 8
823 Don't ask, don't get. 1.3704 0.06197 81 56 21 4
824 Yes,you do hear better. But I think I look slimmer. 1.3704 0.06442 81 55 22 4
825 What channels do you get? 1.3704 0.07124 81 58 16 7
826 How do you know I bought mine at IKEA? 1.3704 0.05596 108 76 25 7
827 Let’s agree to disagree 1.3704 0.06904 81 57 18 6
828 RBG is my spirit animal. 1.3704 0.06904 81 57 18 6
829 You see Mark, what limits us is the same. It's how we face those limitations that defines us. 1.3704 0.06321 81 57 19 5
830 Comfort is more important than efficacy. 1.3704 0.06197 81 54 24 3
831 I prefer the Edwardian to the Elizabethan. 1.3704 0.06904 81 57 18 6
832 Newest CDC guidelines 1.3701 0.05679 127 91 25 11
833 I'm not kidding. Run as fast as you can and this thing flips back! 1.3700 0.06139 100 70 23 7
834 That's ok, you should see how he puts the sweater on the cat. 1.3700 0.06614 100 73 17 10
835 It's easier to discern the context of events unfolding around me. 1.3696 0.05929 92 62 26 4
836 Welcome to Australia. 1.3696 0.07035 92 68 14 10
837 I just got off the Mayflower. Which ship are you from? 1.3696 0.06506 92 65 20 7
838 The aerodynamics are a lot better when you're chasing parked cars. 1.3696 0.06128 92 63 24 5
839 Open window on the freeway, that's how! 1.3696 0.06320 92 64 22 6
840 It's not funny, my vet has dyslexia! 1.3696 0.06128 92 63 24 5
841 Yeah, my vet was a huge RBG fan. 1.3696 0.06506 92 65 20 7
842 I want to put the last four years in the rearview mirror! 1.3696 0.06687 92 66 18 8
843 Go in peace my pup ... your prayers will be answered. 1.3696 0.07035 92 68 14 10
844 Nice collar” - “Nice hat 1.3696 0.06863 92 67 16 9
845 some days you wear the cone, other days the cone wears you. 1.3696 0.07035 92 68 14 10
846 I have a doctor’s note. 1.3696 0.06687 92 66 18 8
847 It’s more aerodynamic for faster recovery! 1.3696 0.06687 92 66 18 8
848 I’m tired of being a good boy. 1.3694 0.05568 111 76 29 6
849 I asked for the cone of self confidence! 1.3690 0.06287 84 57 23 4
850 I once thought the way you do. 1.3690 0.06511 84 58 21 5
851 My tail was chasing me. 1.3690 0.06287 84 57 23 4
852 You think I look stupid? Go check your reflection in the toilet bowl! 1.3690 0.06511 84 58 21 5
853 I know, right? 1.3690 0.06728 84 59 19 6
854 And I look ridiculous? 1.3690 0.06055 84 56 25 3
855 Dude, you can't trust everything you read on the Internet. 1.3690 0.06287 84 57 23 4
856 I’m getting much better gas mileage now. 1.3690 0.06938 84 60 17 7
857 So if I pull your tail does your mouth light up? 1.3690 0.07142 84 61 15 8
858 I made a promise I’d leave them alone as long as I could still see them 1.3690 0.07142 84 61 15 8
859 It was windy riding in the back of the convertible. 1.3689 0.06321 103 74 20 9
860 Have you tried putting it into sport mode? 1.3689 0.06321 103 74 20 9
861 You’re projecting again. 1.3684 0.05879 114 81 24 9
862 You must have different insurance 1.3684 0.07216 76 54 16 6
863 Trust me, when it snows, you'll be happy you did. 1.3684 0.06180 95 66 23 6
864 They want me to stop going through the dog door butt first. 1.3684 0.06532 95 68 19 8
865 I tell you the world looks bigger this way. 1.3684 0.06180 95 66 23 6
866 if you push your head into the toilet real hard it flips over! 1.3684 0.07185 95 72 11 12
867 So, I’ve been thinking outside the cone. 1.3684 0.06180 95 66 23 6
868 Just my luck I was rescued from the pound by a Pilgrim. 1.3679 0.05738 106 73 27 6
869 I'll lick yours if you scratch mine 1.3678 0.06143 87 59 24 4
870 My bark is not as loud, but I can run way faster. 1.3678 0.06356 87 60 22 5
871 We both look stupid! 1.3678 0.06356 87 60 22 5
872 You’ll never get in looking like that. 1.3678 0.06764 87 62 18 7
873 Oh, it's not medical. ...just a dog collar designed by Elon Musk. 1.3678 0.06563 87 61 20 6
874 You want to get noticed these days, you gotta think outside the cone. 1.3678 0.06563 87 61 20 6
875 I hired a lawyer. 1.3673 0.06549 98 71 18 9
876 Yes, my veterinarian is Dutch . . . why do you ask? 1.3673 0.06048 98 68 24 6
877 Laugh all you want, but I just logged a personal best chasing that car down the block. 1.3673 0.06387 98 70 20 8
878 Rough ruff, Ralph. 1.3673 0.06048 98 68 24 6
879 I'll take form over function anytime. 1.3673 0.06549 98 71 18 9
880 You’re wearing it wrong. Dr. Fauci said so. 1.3673 0.06220 98 69 22 7
881 It was reversal surgery. 1.3671 0.06540 79 54 21 4
882 I have a forward thinking veterinarian" 1.3671 0.06287 79 53 23 3
883 This comes in handy when I'm having lobster. 1.3671 0.06287 79 53 23 3
884 I don't care if you do get better reception. This is way more comfortable. 1.3671 0.06783 79 55 19 5
885 It's not as if he wears his own mask properly either. 1.3671 0.07019 79 56 17 6
886 Much more comfortable this way. When I hear them come in, I switch it back. 1.3671 0.06540 79 54 21 4
887 I find it works just as well, without the shame. 1.3671 0.06540 79 54 21 4
888 Mine is Prada. 1.3671 0.06287 79 56 19 4
889 No offence, but you look ridiculous. 1.3671 0.06783 79 55 19 5
890 No, by law she has to offer you a reasonable accommodation. 1.3667 0.06211 90 62 23 5
891 I got stuck in a lampshade. What happened to you? 1.3667 0.06409 90 63 21 6
892 I convinced her that this retro look was more fashionable. 1.3667 0.06211 90 62 23 5
893 You gotta think outside the cone. 1.3667 0.06787 90 65 17 8
894 I don't know whether I'm coming or going, either. 1.3667 0.06601 90 64 19 7
895 Alcohol was involved.... 1.3667 0.06409 90 63 21 6
896 Handmaid’s Tale, huh? I’m The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel. 1.3667 0.07146 90 67 13 10
897 You can fit through the hole in the fence too if you run fast enough 1.3667 0.06007 90 61 25 4
898 No, I'm not injured. I just got in a row with a lampshade. 1.3667 0.05790 120 86 24 10
899 My vet's dyslexic -who knew? 1.3663 0.06249 101 72 21 8
900 I go to a discount vet. Why do you ask? 1.3663 0.05924 101 70 25 6
901 It's a bit less Elizabethan, and I can still chew my feet. 1.3663 0.05924 101 70 25 6
902 Can I lick anything for you? 1.3663 0.06708 101 75 15 11
903 I was like that once, but I managed to turn things around. 1.3663 0.06249 101 72 21 8
904 You only wear it like that after Labor Day 1.3663 0.05924 101 70 25 6
905 Are you high? 1.3663 0.06406 101 73 19 9
906 Of course you look good in the mirror; that's what they want you to think. 1.3659 0.06834 82 58 18 6
907 The doggie door won. 1.3659 0.06610 82 57 20 5
908 My owner wears his face mask below his nose, so I told him it was only fair. 1.3659 0.07262 82 60 14 8
909 there are good dogs on both sides 1.3659 0.06379 82 56 22 4
910 All the millennials are wearing it this way. 1.3656 0.06264 93 65 22 6
911 Just take a walk against a high wind. 1.3656 0.06074 93 64 24 5
912 You’re such a traditionalist, Bob. I prefer the RBG cone styling 1.3656 0.06627 93 67 18 8
913 Am I the converse to your inverse? 1.3656 0.06264 93 65 22 6
914 First he wears his baseball cap backwards. And now this... 1.3656 0.06448 93 66 20 7
915 You do it by running real fast through the cat door! 1.3656 0.06264 93 65 22 6
916 Look on the bright side- you're not troubled by hindsight! 1.3656 0.07136 93 70 12 11
917 Just put your head out of the car window. Problem solved. 1.3656 0.06074 93 64 24 5
918 It’s a “ruff,” get it? 1.3656 0.05677 93 62 28 3
919 You think this is bad? Just wait until the reverse vasectomy. 1.3656 0.05467 93 66 22 5
920 I prefer not to see what they did. 1.3654 0.06561 104 77 16 11
921 I think it's so they can tell us apart. 1.3654 0.06120 104 74 22 8
922 This is the cone of no shame. 1.3654 0.06120 104 74 22 8
923 You can either be an ice cream cone or a rocket. 1.3654 0.05965 104 73 24 7
924 Windy isn’t it? 1.3654 0.06120 104 74 22 8
925 I say this as a friend. You look ridiculous. 1.3649 0.06823 74 51 19 4
926 Is this a reflection of our current political situation? 1.3649 0.06546 74 50 21 3
927 it's for speed 1.3649 0.06257 74 49 23 2
928 What? I'm Jewish. 1.3647 0.06870 85 61 17 7
929 Neutered? No, I knocked over a lamp. 1.3647 0.06870 85 61 17 7
930 I'm a messy eater. 1.3647 0.06449 85 59 21 5
931 Really, Sam? Popped collar? That’s so last year. 1.3647 0.06228 85 58 23 4
932 Think outside the cone, dude. 1.3647 0.06449 85 59 21 5
933 I know, I know, but my human is dyslexic and I haven't the heart to correct him. 1.3647 0.07070 85 62 15 8
934 My human drives a convertible. 1.3646 0.06642 96 70 17 9
935 I prefer to wear it as a shrug. 1.3646 0.06127 96 67 23 6
936 My vet is an idiot. 1.3646 0.06806 96 71 15 10
937 I'm required to wear it,but they didn't say how. 1.3646 0.06806 96 71 15 10
938 She's a little dyslexic... 1.3646 0.05946 96 66 25 5
939 Because I can 1.3646 0.05758 96 65 27 4
940 You ran into a lamp too? 1.3646 0.06304 96 68 21 7
941 It's a lampshade. I just wanted to give you some moral support. 1.3646 0.06475 96 69 19 8
942 Where does it itch? 1.3646 0.05758 96 65 27 4
943 I have something I want to get off my chest. 1.3636 0.06700 88 63 18 7
944 We should make movies and call ourselves the Cone Brothers." 1.3636 0.06494 99 72 18 9
945 It makes me more aerodynamic. I caught a mail truck last week. 1.3636 0.06168 99 70 22 7
946 I see you're going for the Elizabethan look. I prefer the Puritan look myself. 1.3636 0.06168 99 70 22 7
947 I’m in a study—I think I may be part of the placebo group... 1.3636 0.06168 99 70 22 7
948 He can't tie a Windsor either 1.3636 0.07374 77 56 14 7
949 Potato, Potahto, let's pull the damn things off! 1.3636 0.06892 88 64 16 8
950 At least your vet knows what he's doing 1.3636 0.05644 99 67 28 4
951 Wow, that was a heck of a sneeze! 1.3636 0.06892 88 64 16 8
952 Get with the times, boomer, collar up is so 80's! 1.3636 0.06700 88 63 18 7
953 We've given up on western medicine. 1.3636 0.06168 99 70 22 7
954 Same difference, except I look better. 1.3636 0.06642 77 53 20 4
955 Sometimes it pays to have a priest for an owner 1.3636 0.06892 88 64 16 8
956 I call this look 'throwing some shade' 1.3636 0.06892 88 64 16 8
957 F**k the system" 1.3636 0.06895 77 54 18 5
958 I don’t think it’s down there anymore any ways 1.3627 0.06504 102 75 17 10
959 It's the new model. 40% less pathetic. 1.3627 0.06353 102 74 19 9
960 You just have to run VERY fast." 1.3626 0.06540 91 65 19 7
961 Yes, my master is a man of the cloth. How did you guess? 1.3626 0.06156 91 63 23 5
962 Surgery? I stuck my head through the food bowl. 1.3626 0.06351 91 64 21 6
963 At least we can kiss! 1.3626 0.05954 91 62 25 4
964 My owners are liberals. 1.3626 0.06540 91 65 19 7
965 Seriously, it makes way more sense this way. 1.3626 0.05954 91 62 25 4
966 I find I get much better reception. 1.3626 0.06351 91 64 21 6
967 Is that a turtle neck? 1.3626 0.06540 91 65 19 7
968 Of course I might have it backwards. But the luscious T-bone I just gobbled up says 'NOT' 1.3626 0.06540 91 65 19 7
969 Next car ride, we'll see who has the superior drag coefficient. 1.3626 0.06156 91 63 23 5
970 I’m much faster since the upgrade ! 1.3626 0.05954 91 62 25 4
971 Yeah, my humans aren't really clear on the concept, but at least I'm much more aerodynamic this way. 1.3626 0.05745 91 61 27 3
972 Does this make me look slimmer? 1.3626 0.05303 91 59 31 1
973 I miss RBG. We were the same size. 1.3625 0.06595 80 58 16 6
974 My lawyer is making me wear this for my whiplash case. 1.3625 0.06225 80 54 23 3
975 It’s called the Eton Collar. I’m too dignified to bother my nethers. 1.3625 0.07170 80 58 15 7
976 A cat showed me. 1.3625 0.06474 80 55 21 4
977 Got adopted by an elderly nun. 1.3625 0.06714 80 56 19 5
978 That's just like you, Ronan. Wearing it the right way, like a really good boy. 1.3625 0.06945 80 57 17 6
979 Yes, your tail is still there. 1.3625 0.06945 80 57 17 6
980 I was curious. 1.3625 0.06474 80 55 21 4
981 Introvert vs. Extrovert A perfect match 1.3625 0.06714 80 56 19 5
982 It's Ruff Lauren. 1.3625 0.06945 80 57 17 6
983 I find the science inconclusive. 1.3625 0.06225 80 54 23 3
984 . Be honest-- does this make my butt look big? 1.3625 0.06474 80 55 21 4
985 Oh no, mine’s a religious thing. 1.3625 0.05965 80 53 25 2
986 this way, I can still bite the mailman 1.3617 0.06022 94 65 24 5
987 Does this make me look fat? 1.3617 0.06567 94 68 18 8
988 No, I'm fine, and I'm going to be a full-fledged nun next Wednesday 1.3617 0.06209 94 66 22 6
989 If we work together we can lick this. 1.3617 0.06391 94 67 20 7
990 If you turn it around you can still lick your balls. 1.3617 0.06022 94 65 24 5
991 It's called aerodynamics and it makes frisbees catchable 1.3617 0.05629 94 68 20 6
992 It’s the new model. It makes sniffing butts a lot easier. 1.3617 0.06391 94 67 20 7
993 Think outside the cone. 1.3614 0.06545 83 58 20 5
994 Because I just got my second shot 1.3614 0.06766 83 59 18 6
995 What if you’re right and they’re wrong? 1.3614 0.06766 83 59 18 6
996 I like how I wear mine better 1.3614 0.06545 83 58 20 5
997 My therapist says I’m an extrovert. 1.3611 0.05950 108 77 23 8
998 I feel much less pretentious. 1.3611 0.06939 72 50 18 4
999 Because my people have Puritan ancestors. 1.3608 0.06250 97 69 21 7
1000 I turned my cone from shame to fame! 1.3608 0.06903 97 73 13 11
1001 My vet doesn’t think shaming me is the answer. 1.3608 0.06250 97 69 21 7
1002 Actually,I'm a priest. 1.3608 0.06584 97 71 17 9
1003 Yes, I turned it around when I left Qanon 1.3608 0.06584 97 71 17 9
1004 Yes, I used the doggy door. Why do you ask? 1.3608 0.06903 97 73 13 11
1005 My owner embraces alternative facts. 1.3605 0.06388 86 60 21 5
1006 A word of advice, do not stick your head out of a car window on the highway 1.3605 0.07001 86 63 15 8
1007 "One of our owners is really dumb." 1.3605 0.06802 86 62 17 7
1008 I know it’s on backwards but I still don’t have the balls to see if it works or not . 1.3605 0.06598 86 61 19 6
1009 I'm an anarchist 1.3605 0.06170 86 59 23 4
1010 I find it's more slimming this way. 1.3605 0.06598 86 61 19 6
1011 Easy, I stuck my head out the car window ! 1.3605 0.07381 86 65 11 10
1012 I know, right? Wanna come watch her put an Ikea together? 1.3605 0.06598 86 61 19 6
1013 Oh, it’s easy. You just have to get a really good run at the dog door. 1.3605 0.06598 86 61 19 6
1014 It's handmade, and there's a tale behind it. 1.3605 0.06388 86 60 21 5
1015 Yours is Protestant; mine is Catholic. 1.3605 0.06598 86 61 19 6
1016 Don't worry. Things will turn around eventually. 1.3605 0.06598 86 61 19 6
1017 I shaved 3 seconds off my lap time just by flipping this thing around. 1.3605 0.07001 86 63 15 8
1018 Yer, of course they are reversible 1.3600 0.05777 100 69 26 5
1019 This is how The Lamp wears his...makes more sense, I think... 1.3600 0.05949 100 70 24 6
1020 Sure but bellbottoms are back in style too. 1.3600 0.05949 100 70 24 6
1021 If you had been wearing it my way that vet wouldn't have snuck up on you. 1.3600 0.06439 100 73 18 9
1022 What? 1.3596 0.06826 89 65 16 8
1023 Then the squirrel jumped through a hole in the fence. 1.3596 0.06240 89 62 22 5
1024 Laugh if you will, but I can outrun you now 1.3596 0.06441 89 63 20 6
1025 Yeah, I assumed you were introverted 1.3596 0.06636 89 64 18 7
1026 It totally eliminates the echo. 1.3596 0.06636 89 64 18 7
1027 It's Casual Friday. 1.3596 0.06032 89 61 24 4
1028 You got yours at the vet!? I got mine at the lamp store. 1.3596 0.06826 89 65 16 8
1029 And it also deflects flatulence. 1.3596 0.06636 89 64 18 7
1030 I'm hoping this will get me on the cover of Dogue! 1.3596 0.07191 89 67 12 10
1031 I'm going to be a clergy dog 1.3592 0.05664 103 71 27 5
1032 My aerodynamics have vastly increased. 1.3592 0.06148 103 74 21 8
1033 Your father must've been a flashlight; Mine was a lampshade. 1.3592 0.05830 103 72 25 6
1034 Just stick your head out the window next time you're out for a drive. 1.3592 0.06301 103 75 19 9
1035 Quite a party last night, huh? 1.3590 0.07061 78 56 16 6
1036 I'm keeping it this way until my human wears a mask. 1.3590 0.06181 78 55 19 4
1037 I hear that we're supposed to wear them over our nose. 1.3590 0.06315 78 53 22 3
1038 I'm studying for the priesthood. 1.3590 0.06822 78 55 18 5
1039 Yeah, I slipped the vet $50, and I can reach everywhere. 1.3587 0.06481 92 66 19 7
1040 I dressed myself this morning. 1.3587 0.05696 92 62 27 3
1041 That's what they would like you to believe. 1.3587 0.07012 92 69 13 10
1042 I appreciate the aerodynamics, but I do envy your amplified bark. 1.3587 0.06101 92 64 23 5
1043 Your cone is so old hat. 1.3585 0.06023 106 76 22 8
1044 My owner had one job! 1.3580 0.07095 81 59 15 7
1045 You're right. I've always been the more outgoing one. 1.3580 0.06874 81 58 17 6
1046 Elizabethan collars are so last year. I've updated to a Pilgrim collar. 1.3580 0.06645 81 57 19 5
1047 There's less shame this way. 1.3580 0.06409 81 56 21 4
1048 Try running very very fast. 1.3580 0.06874 81 58 17 6
1049 Hey, you can still smell butts. 1.3580 0.06645 81 57 19 5
1050 I swear, I’ll never put on a lamp shade at a party again 1.3580 0.07095 81 59 15 7
1051 I prefer Puritan over Elizabethan. 1.3580 0.06645 81 57 19 5
1052 ...and when you eat there isn’t that annoying scraping noise on the floor. 1.3580 0.06409 81 56 21 4
1053 Well that’s embarrassing 1.3580 0.06874 81 58 17 6
1054 Windy out there. 1.3579 0.06155 95 67 22 6
1055 If it rains you'll drown. 1.3579 0.06509 95 69 18 8
1056 Itchy, no, but I was recently ordained. 1.3579 0.06334 95 68 20 7
1057 I wanted to bring a modern look to a classic. 1.3579 0.06334 95 68 20 7
1058 Hi, I'm Father Michael"s dog. 1.3579 0.05876 95 68 21 6
1059 It's symbolic with my owners. They're also anti-maskers. 1.3579 0.06155 95 67 22 6
1060 Cone of shame? I say cone of FAME, baby! 1.3579 0.05780 95 65 26 4
1061 Is it supposed to rain? 1.3579 0.07164 95 73 10 12
1062 The wind was just insane on my way over. 1.3579 0.05970 95 66 24 5
1063 They turned it backwards after they found out I filled it with biscuits and just played video games all day. 1.3578 0.05905 109 78 23 8
1064 If you think this is backwards, you should see how my human wears his mask. 1.3571 0.05686 126 92 23 11
1065 It’s Elizabethan. I’m auditioning for Bridgerton. 1.3571 0.06527 98 72 17 9
1066 So I thought to myself, when has a terrier ever listened to direction? 1.3571 0.06527 98 72 17 9
1067 My human was annoyed at all the things I was knocking over. But don't worry, because now I just walk backward. 1.3571 0.06022 84 57 24 3
1068 ...and it really makes me less wind resistant! 1.3571 0.05664 98 67 27 4
1069 I see you're an admirer of Margaret Atwood. 1.3571 0.06527 98 72 17 9
1070 Yes, reversible is in this year! 1.3571 0.06195 112 83 18 11
1071 I think we're fraternal twins. 1.3571 0.06699 84 60 18 6
1072 Careful, it's windy out. 1.3571 0.06481 84 59 20 5
1073 I like your vibe 1.3571 0.06699 84 60 18 6
1074 Trust me, Mabel. I’m cone sold stober. 1.3571 0.06364 98 71 19 8
1075 I’ve been circumcised. What were you in for? 1.3571 0.06910 84 63 13 8
1076 I’m a Lampshadedoodle; what are you? 1.3571 0.05847 98 68 25 5
1077 No, he isnt a vet. He is a naturopath. 1.3571 0.06910 84 61 16 7
1078 No, I entered the seminary. 1.3571 0.06197 98 70 21 7
1079 That's so last year, Bob. 1.3571 0.06699 84 60 18 6
1080 My vet trusts me. 1.3571 0.06256 84 58 22 4
1081 I guess my owner doesn’t listen to my doctor either. 1.3571 0.06910 84 61 16 7
1082 If you think this is bad, you should see how my owner wears his mask 1.3571 0.06686 98 73 15 10
1083 I get better reception this way. 1.3564 0.06384 101 74 18 9
1084 Let's race - I'm more aerodynamic now! 1.3564 0.06066 101 72 22 7
1085 Yes, my owner is the one with her mask below her nose. 1.3564 0.06538 101 75 16 10
1086 Extrovert, why do you ask? 1.3564 0.06227 101 73 20 8
1087 I'll give you the name of my lawyer. 1.3563 0.06327 87 61 21 5
1088 Bless you. 1.3563 0.07122 87 65 13 9
1089 You should checkout my vet, Barney. He's much more forward thinking. 1.3563 0.06112 87 60 23 4
1090 I find the lampshades from the dollar store work just as well ! 1.3563 0.06535 87 62 19 6
1091 It's like America these days, half of the people think the other half has it wrong. 1.3563 0.06737 87 63 17 7
1092 Better look in the mirror before you start criticizing. 1.3563 0.06737 87 63 17 7
1093 Homeschooled, huh? 1.3563 0.06112 87 60 23 4
1094 I got caught in a head wind. 1.3563 0.06327 87 61 21 5
1095 Seriously- you get a better 5G signal this way! 1.3563 0.06327 87 61 21 5
1096 I’m also proactively popping hydroxychloroquine... 1.3563 0.05658 87 58 27 2
1097 Actually, mine’s a lampshade. 1.3562 0.07395 73 53 14 6
1098 Well, at least there's one advantage to having Eric Trump as my owner. 1.3562 0.07892 73 55 10 8
1099 I'll wear it, but damned if I'm going to cover my nose. 1.3562 0.07133 73 52 16 5
1100 So I said to her, hey, let's try something new this time 1.3562 0.07892 73 55 10 8
1101 I’ve been vaccinated. 1.3556 0.06183 90 63 22 5
1102 Your collar is more of an Amy Coney Barrrett and mine is more of a Ruth Bader Ginsburg. 1.3556 0.05765 90 61 26 3
1103 No, I didn't get stitches. I joined a convent. 1.3556 0.05765 90 61 26 3
1104 Aren't you going to say 'gesundheit'? 1.3556 0.06944 90 67 14 9
1105 It's awful windy today. Watch yourself. 1.3556 0.06183 90 63 22 5
1106 I walked into a lampshade. What're you in here for? 1.3556 0.06382 90 64 20 6
1107 If it makes you feel any better, I still can't lick my butt. 1.3556 0.06762 90 66 16 8
1108 yeah, I got lucky...my master is dislexic... 1.3553 0.06676 76 53 19 4
1109 This way, headwind or tailwind, I come out ahead. 1.3553 0.06408 76 52 21 3
1110 Sure, if you want to blindly follow the advice of "medical experts" you can wear it like that, but I've done my own research! 1.3553 0.06408 76 52 21 3
1111 Lucky for me my owner’s dyslexic 1.3553 0.07656 76 57 11 8
1112 The answer,my friend,is blowin in the wind. 1.3553 0.06676 76 53 19 4
1113 Sure, it’s less effective this way, but there’s this thing called personal freedom... 1.3553 0.07183 76 55 15 6
1114 Hey Ralph! Does this cone make my butt look big? 1.3553 0.06934 76 54 17 5
1115 Oh, Rex, that way is soooo last week. 1.3551 0.05827 107 76 24 7
1116 I'm telling you man, it's all a hoax. 1.3548 0.06777 93 69 15 9
1117 It's completely reversed my shame. 1.3548 0.06602 93 68 17 8
1118 Bulldogs, poodles... it's how all the French are wearing them now. 1.3548 0.06238 93 66 21 6
1119 True, I can lick and bite myself, but you have better acoustics for barking! 1.3548 0.06777 93 69 15 9
1120 Are you getting any signal? 1.3548 0.05851 93 66 22 5
1121 Yeah, I know it's backwards, but I get less aerodynamic drag and sidestream turbulence at higher velocities. 1.3548 0.06602 93 68 17 8
1122 Who’s a good boy now? 1.3548 0.06947 93 72 10 11
1123 It's not backwards; it's doggy style. 1.3548 0.06422 93 67 19 7
1124 No, I'm fine, I just knocked over a lamp. 1.3548 0.06422 93 67 19 7
1125 The voices in my head are gone! 1.3548 0.06422 93 67 19 7
1126 only in New York baby!! 1.3548 0.06422 93 67 19 7
1127 I’m a therapy dog. 1.3544 0.06505 79 55 20 4
1128 I took 10 seconds off my personal best! 1.3544 0.06986 79 57 16 6
1129 Why yes, I am Lucky. What's your name? 1.3544 0.07215 79 58 14 7
1130 I've always been somewhat of a contrarian. 1.3544 0.06251 79 54 22 3
1131 They tried to tell me the procedure was reversible, too. 1.3544 0.07215 79 58 14 7
1132 Hello! I have been vaccinated... 1.3542 0.06102 96 68 22 6
1133 This helps my speed - I can get the postman now! 1.3542 0.06102 96 68 22 6
1134 I got the idea on Etsy. 1.3540 0.05750 113 81 24 8
1135 Can you hear me better now? 1.3540 0.05611 113 80 26 7
1136 My owner never reads the instructions. 1.3537 0.06803 82 59 17 6
1137 I think you wouldn't be so narrow-minded if you didn't turn up your collar to everything. 1.3537 0.06578 82 58 19 5
1138 I’m medically exempt from wearing the cone forwards. 1.3537 0.06803 82 59 17 6
1139 It covers my double chin. 1.3535 0.06310 99 72 19 8
1140 But, Dad - all the kids are wearing them backwards these days. 1.3535 0.05974 99 70 23 6
1141 I am the dog that thinks outside of the cone. 1.3535 0.05974 99 70 23 6
1142 Mine is for speed 1.3535 0.06310 99 72 19 8
1143 I’ve never been this aerodynamic before, Ralph. Never. 1.3535 0.05139 99 68 28 3
1144 Sister Bertrille! I thought I recognized you. 1.3529 0.06841 85 62 16 7
1145 Yeah...and he also hasn't figured out his remote yet. 1.3529 0.06633 85 61 18 6
1146 These days I identify more as a floor lamp. 1.3529 0.06633 85 61 18 6
1147 You don't even want to know what I'm being treated for. 1.3529 0.06418 85 60 20 5
1148 That must have been some wind. 1.3529 0.06633 85 61 18 6
1149 I got mine from the lamp in the corner 1.3529 0.06841 85 62 16 7
1150 You know, I've heard of a couple of studies that say double-coning is even more effective! 1.3529 0.06196 85 59 22 4
1151 It seems like I’m the only one licking in this relationship. 1.3529 0.06176 102 74 20 8
1152 I gained a quarter of a mile per hour . 1.3529 0.06196 85 59 22 4
1153 I was looking in the mirror when I put it on. 1.3529 0.06017 102 73 22 7
1154 It's easy, just stick your head out the car window. 1.3529 0.06196 85 64 14 7
1155 I'm fine. It's actually the result of a little incident I had with a floor lamp. 1.3529 0.06176 102 74 20 8
1156 At least you can hold extra food in yours. 1.3529 0.06196 85 59 22 4
1157 My human is dumber than your human, but I like him that way. 1.3529 0.06017 102 73 22 7
1158 Just push your head through the cat door. It works for me every time. 1.3529 0.06196 85 59 22 4
1159 That’s ruff 1.3529 0.05966 85 58 24 3
1160 It’s the newest style, downward facing cone. 1.3524 0.06199 105 77 19 9
1161 Much more aerodynamic, you know. 1.3523 0.05247 88 65 18 5
1162 I hung my head out the window and boom, new collar!! 1.3523 0.06473 88 63 19 6
1163 Yeah, at my vet you get a choice” 1.3523 0.06056 88 61 23 4
1164 As long as I wear one, I can stay on disability. 1.3523 0.06473 88 63 19 6
1165 How did you know I just got back from a car ride? 1.3523 0.06056 88 61 23 4
1166 Windy today,huh. 1.3523 0.06473 88 63 19 6
1167 Yes sister, but our order is a progressive one. 1.3523 0.06672 88 64 17 7
1168 It’s just like a reverse mortgage 1.3523 0.06865 88 65 15 8
1169 Why yes, but how did you guess that my master is dyslexic? 1.3521 0.07260 71 51 15 5
1170 I'm telling you, it's really windy outside. 1.3521 0.06683 71 49 19 3
1171 I'm the Caped Avenger. Who are you?" 1.3521 0.06978 71 50 17 4
1172 I found a loophole! 1.3519 0.05782 108 77 24 7
1173 Oh, yours is for resistance? Mine's built for speed. 1.3516 0.06323 91 65 20 6
1174 We can’t both be right. 1.3516 0.06323 91 65 20 6
1175 Yeah, all ya gotta do is get goin' REAL fast and then go through the doggie door. It worth it, man! 1.3516 0.06127 91 64 22 5
1176 How many channels do you get with that dish? 1.3516 0.06698 91 67 16 8
1177 Does this collar make me look fat? 1.3516 0.06127 91 64 22 5
1178 I’m the designated butt licker 1.3516 0.06514 91 66 18 7
1179 You don't hear the ocean this way. 1.3516 0.06514 91 66 18 7
1180 I find the button down collar just gives a me more professional look. 1.3516 0.06514 91 66 18 7
1181 Let me guess: bingewatching the Handmaid's Tale? 1.3516 0.06698 91 67 16 8
1182 It works the same way but much less shame! 1.3516 0.06323 91 65 20 6
1183 It’s rather windy outside. 1.3516 0.06127 91 64 22 5
1184 I don't care if it's how the kids wear it. 1.3516 0.05925 91 63 24 4
1185 Catholic 1.3516 0.06127 91 64 22 5
1186 My dad dressed me today. 1.3516 0.06514 91 66 18 7
1187 I needed a neck lift, I was turning into a Sharpei 1.3516 0.06127 91 64 22 5
1188 No, really. This is how they wear them in Paris! 1.3516 0.06514 91 66 18 7
1189 In a dog eat dog world I have an advantage ! 1.3514 0.06064 74 52 19 3
1190 Me, I’m more of an extrovert. 1.3514 0.05955 111 81 21 9
1191 That must be a drag. 1.3514 0.06784 74 52 18 4
1192 You're the first one to notice. 1.3511 0.05995 94 66 23 5
1193 Backwards? Okay Boomer! 1.3511 0.06542 94 69 17 8
1194 Yeah, okay, so it's technically not thinking outside the cone. But you get my point, right? 1.3511 0.06365 94 68 19 7
1195 I stuck my head out the window of the car and, voila, it flipped over! 1.3511 0.06365 94 68 19 7
1196 Any chewing I can help you with? 1.3511 0.06715 94 70 15 9
1197 I can't lick down there either 1.3511 0.06183 94 67 21 6
1198 Do you want to hear the other nine steps to finding a new perspective on life? 1.3506 0.07104 77 56 15 6
1199 You got your head cone ass backwards. 1.3506 0.06859 77 55 17 5
1200 My lady voted for Biden. 1.3506 0.06341 77 53 21 3
1201 What can I say, they're fashion conscious and I convinced them that this was a better look. 1.3506 0.07341 77 57 13 7
1202 No, really. On you it looks good. 1.3505 0.05870 97 68 24 5
1203 Let's race. 1.3505 0.06225 97 70 20 7
1204 Despite our differences I think we can still work together. 1.3505 0.06050 97 69 22 6
1205 Well for one, I'm dyslexic. 1.3504 0.05472 117 83 27 7
1206 Oh, the mask should cover your nose? 1.3500 0.05925 100 71 23 6
1207 It has the same effect,but with less shame. 1.3500 0.07138 80 59 14 7
1208 All the pups are wearing them like this now 1.3500 0.06256 100 73 19 8
1209 It's just a precaution in case my butt tries to try lick my face. 1.3500 0.06872 100 77 11 12
1210 You have to get up to 15,maybe 20 miles an hour. 1.3500 0.06256 100 73 19 8
1211 I could lick that for you. 1.3500 0.06680 80 57 18 5
1212 I think we’re a perfect fit! 1.3500 0.06680 80 57 18 5
1213 It’s not as humiliating somehow. 1.3500 0.07138 80 59 14 7
1214 I'm sure this is reversible, Frank 1.3500 0.06256 100 73 19 8
1215 I humped my human’s mother’s leg. You? 1.3500 0.07138 80 59 14 7
1216 Stick my head out of the car window on the way home... works every time. 1.3496 0.05770 123 91 21 11
1217 He also thinks hydroxychloroquine will stop covid. 1.3495 0.06429 103 77 16 10
1218 Say two Hail Marys and try not to lick there again 1.3495 0.05806 103 73 24 6
1219 Next time you're priest and I'm nun. 1.3495 0.06125 103 75 20 8
1220 Does my ass look fat? 1.3495 0.06429 103 77 16 10
1221 Hind sight is 20/20, my friend. 1.3494 0.06949 83 61 15 7
1222 Let’s just agree to disagree. 1.3494 0.06513 83 59 19 5
1223 Doggy day care? More like doggy don't care! 1.3494 0.06949 83 61 15 7
1224 Sore throat. You? 1.3494 0.06734 83 60 17 6
1225 Are you ready to confess your sins? 1.3494 0.06949 83 61 15 7
1226 I still get to lick, just not myself" 1.3494 0.06513 83 59 19 5
1227 Potato, potahto. 1.3494 0.06734 83 60 17 6
1228 Deflects the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune. 1.3494 0.06949 83 61 15 7
1229 My bark is actually better than my bite now. 1.3494 0.06734 83 60 17 6
1230 It was a very windy day. 1.3494 0.06734 83 60 17 6
1231 It’s ergonomically designed so I can run faster. 1.3494 0.06949 83 61 15 7
1232 I signed an agreement absolving my owners of any responsibility. 1.3494 0.06949 83 61 15 7
1233 They said I can still lick YOUR genitals. 1.3494 0.06513 83 59 19 5
1234 I’m part English Trendsetter. 1.3494 0.06045 83 57 23 3
1235 Strong wind out there today eh? 1.3494 0.07158 83 62 13 8
1236 Ah, the cone of shame... how mortifying. I was blessed with the collar of excellence. 1.3488 0.06568 86 62 18 6
1237 Did you hear, Fauci said Double coning will be next! 1.3488 0.06356 86 61 20 5
1238 I have a doctor's note so I can wear it like this 1.3488 0.06356 86 61 20 5
1239 my therapist said I needed a broader perspective 1.3488 0.06356 86 61 20 5
1240 Dude, I keep telling you. Chicks dig a flipped collar. 1.3488 0.06137 86 60 22 4
1241 Oh this? It’s dress rehearsals for my show, Shakespeare in the Bark. 1.3488 0.06773 86 63 16 7
1242 My human says we’re extroverts 1.3486 0.05587 109 77 26 6
1243 Run as hard as you can into a stiff wind and, voila. 1.3483 0.06412 89 64 19 6
1244 I told you, it's a casual event. 1.3483 0.06412 89 64 19 6
1245 I prefer the Pilgrim look to the Elizabethan 1.3483 0.06412 89 64 19 6
1246 This is an improvement. My last lady friend had a muzzle. 1.3483 0.06412 89 64 19 6
1247 You know that wind tunnel? 1.3483 0.06001 89 62 23 4
1248 You’re comical, I’m conical 1.3483 0.06799 89 66 15 8
1249 Mine keeps me from biting my nails. 1.3478 0.05872 92 64 24 4
1250 You have a lot to learn about aerodynamics. 1.3478 0.06266 92 66 20 6
1251 Wow. It really amplifies your bark! 1.3478 0.05665 92 63 26 3
1252 There's no right or wrong; just depends which way the wind is blowing. 1.3478 0.06072 92 65 22 5
1253 Yes, I'm a member of the clergy. Why do you ask? 1.3478 0.06814 92 69 14 9
1254 I think I got too drunk last night! 1.3478 0.05872 92 67 20 5
1255 Mine's an "in-nie" not an outtie. 1.3478 0.06454 92 67 18 7
1256 My owner has dyslexia. Wanna see where he attaches the leash? 1.3478 0.06072 92 65 22 5
1257 Never stick your head out of the car window. 1.3478 0.06454 92 67 18 7
1258 Because the Vet said that I had achieved herd immunity. 1.3478 0.06636 92 68 16 8
1259 🎶 I did it my way . . . . 1.3478 0.06793 69 48 18 3
1260 I have an undisclosed medical condition so I can't wear it right. 1.3478 0.07100 69 49 16 4
1261 We're stackable. 1.3474 0.05943 95 67 23 5
1262 Trust me. Just keep scraping everything off the coffee table; eventually they'll turn it around. 1.3474 0.06128 95 68 21 6
1263 I prefer the term 'influencer.' 1.3474 0.06308 95 69 19 7
1264 I know it’s inside out. Everything else is in the cleaners. 1.3474 0.06308 95 69 19 7
1265 Does it make me look thinner? 1.3474 0.05553 95 65 27 3
1266 Listen, you scratch my back and I’ll scratch yours. 1.3474 0.05751 95 66 25 4
1267 I'm going into the Ministry! 1.3474 0.06128 95 68 21 6
1268 This is what they really mean by doggy style! 1.3472 0.07951 72 55 9 8
1269 It helps to read the directions. 1.3472 0.07175 72 52 15 5
1270 I'm quite sure. 1.3472 0.07175 72 52 15 5
1271 My owner says there’s no proof that cones work, anyway. 1.3472 0.07701 72 54 11 7
1272 This way, I can stick my head out the back window and we still get 32mpg in the city. 1.3469 0.05820 98 69 24 5
1273 My vet is dyslexic. I just couldn't bring myself to say anything. 1.3469 0.06171 98 71 20 7
1274 Dude! That is SO retro! 1.3469 0.05447 98 67 28 3
1275 No, yours is Elizabethan, mine is Pilgrim 1.3469 0.06340 98 72 18 8
1276 I wasn't aware that you were Jewish, Rex. 1.3468 0.05955 124 94 17 13
1277 That's some wind out there! 1.3467 0.06973 75 54 16 5
1278 My vet got his degree online. 1.3467 0.06973 75 54 16 5
1279 I stuck my head out the car window. The next thing I knew my peripheral vision had been restored! 1.3467 0.07472 75 56 12 7
1280 Mine references the Elizabethan period. How about yours ? 1.3467 0.06710 75 53 18 4
1281 Pilgrim. What's your name? 1.3465 0.06361 101 75 17 9
1282 But we can still lick each other's butt. 1.3465 0.05061 101 75 20 6
1283 I am now an ordained priest and can make moral decisions as to whom to bite. 1.3465 0.05705 101 71 25 5
1284 I’d sue. 1.3465 0.06361 101 75 17 9
1285 My veterinarian is Jewish. 1.3462 0.06662 104 80 12 12
1286 been there, done that. 1.3462 0.06536 78 55 19 4
1287 You look so conical. 1.3462 0.06536 78 55 19 4
1288 I was trying to get through the hole in the fence and it just went "Pop!" 1.3462 0.05920 104 75 22 7
1289 I got here as fast as I could 1.3462 0.06075 104 76 20 8
1290 And then I said, 'The Elizabethan collar was a symbol of the aristocracy, therefore you must serve me roast beef, salmon and artesian water.' So they relented, and now I can ride with my head out the window." 1.3462 0.06520 104 79 14 11
1291 'It's 2021 Susan, stop letting the vet make decisions for you. Take control.' 1.3462 0.07027 78 57 15 6
1292 Don’t ask, I ran through the pet door. 1.3458 0.06383 107 81 15 11
1293 I think it has to do with whether they think you are an introvert or extrovert. 1.3458 0.05954 107 78 21 8
1294 If you jam it into your owner’s legs enough times, you get an upgrade. 1.3458 0.06100 107 79 19 9
1295 My vet's new. 1.3458 0.05650 107 76 25 6
1296 Welcome to Chicago ! When you turn the next corner you will see why they call it the WINDY City! 1.3458 0.05804 107 77 23 7
1297 So who licks your balls? 1.3457 0.07062 81 60 14 7
1298 G'day mate! 1.3457 0.06840 81 59 16 6
1299 I wear it because I am a Puritan breed. 1.3457 0.06611 81 58 18 5
1300 Oh. Mine didn't come with instructions. 1.3457 0.06373 81 57 20 4
1301 Yes, I can hear you now! 1.3457 0.06611 81 58 18 5
1302 It means I’m taken 1.3457 0.07062 81 60 14 7
1303 I got tired of just being seen as a lightbulb. 1.3457 0.06373 81 57 20 4
1304 They say that opposites attract.......now what? 1.3457 0.05869 81 55 24 2
1305 At our place style trumps function 1.3457 0.06611 81 58 18 5
1306 I may have been 'fixed,' but my sense of style is still intact. 1.3457 0.07062 81 60 14 7
1307 No it’s not backwards, it’s Chanel. 1.3457 0.07278 81 61 12 8
1308 Yeah, my owner is not the brightest bulb on the tree 1.3457 0.06611 81 58 18 5
1309 I saw a Facebook video about how they’re not really effective anyways, so why does it matter how I wear it? 1.3457 0.07278 81 61 12 8
1310 Easy! Just squeeze through the dog door! 1.3452 0.05742 84 59 22 3
1311 'Try facing into the wind' 1.3452 0.06667 84 61 17 6
1312 I like to go with the airflow. 1.3452 0.06448 84 60 19 5
1313 Aerodynamics! 1.3452 0.06222 84 59 21 4
1314 Ok so you can amplify your barks, but I can amplify my farts! 1.3452 0.06667 84 61 17 6
1315 Careful going thru the doggie door. 1.3452 0.06667 84 61 17 6
1316 It’s a lampshade I found in the trash...point is we gotta stick together. 1.3452 0.06667 84 61 17 6
1317 I go to one of those alternative veterinarians. 1.3452 0.06448 84 60 19 5
1318 I’m now ordained 1.3452 0.07084 84 63 13 8
1319 Hemorrhoids” 1.3452 0.06667 84 61 17 6
1320 It's more a support cone than a cone of shame. 1.3452 0.06667 84 61 17 6
1321 That whole mirror thing still has me confused. 1.3452 0.06667 84 61 17 6
1322 Didn't you get the memo? Tudors are out, Cromwells are in. 1.3451 0.06129 113 85 17 11
1323 It reduces drag to improve my chances of catching the mailman. Yours? 1.3448 0.06504 87 63 18 6
1324 I’m an innie, you’re an outie. 1.3448 0.06707 87 64 16 7
1325 Can you hear the UPS truck sooner? 1.3448 0.06504 87 63 18 6
1326 It works the same . You just don't have to put up with the annoying echoes. 1.3448 0.06504 87 63 18 6
1327 I prefer the "collar of greatness" to "the cone of shame" 1.3448 0.06504 87 63 18 6
1328 I'll clean your nose if you clean my hiney. 1.3448 0.07094 87 66 12 9
1329 I’m in Rehab. 1.3448 0.06504 87 63 18 6
1330 They wanted me to get through the doggie door to do my business. 1.3448 0.06080 87 61 22 4
1331 'This way I don't get hat hair" 1.3448 0.05856 87 60 24 3
1332 Not much of a disguise, but they won't think to castrate a lamp! 1.3448 0.06707 87 64 16 7
1333 My vet is a big proponent of alternative medicine 1.3448 0.06903 87 65 14 8
1334 I’m more Victorian than Elizabethan. 1.3444 0.06153 90 64 21 5
1335 It’s haute-dog couture, darling. 1.3444 0.06153 90 64 21 5
1336 My human also wears his mask under his chin. 1.3444 0.05946 90 63 23 4
1337 Your cape is on backwards. 1.3444 0.06153 90 64 21 5
1338 You were right, it’s too windy outside. 1.3444 0.05510 90 61 27 2
1339 Nah, dude. Popped collars aren’t in anymore. 1.3444 0.06352 90 65 19 6
1340 You have to flip the narrative. 1.3444 0.06352 90 65 19 6
1341 Use your regular voice, now 1.3444 0.06352 90 65 19 6
1342 Elizabethan collars are out. RGB collars are all the rage. 1.3444 0.06546 90 66 17 7
1343 I'm actually fine, I'm just going into the priesthood. 1.3444 0.06153 90 64 21 5
1344 How did the Pixar audition go? 1.3444 0.06352 90 65 19 6
1345 I hear you, the sweater was bad enough! 1.3444 0.06352 90 65 19 6
1346 Oh.. So you’re an anti-coner. 1.3444 0.06352 90 65 19 6
1347 It’s highly likely your owner is smarter than mine. 1.3441 0.06209 93 67 20 6
1348 Your problem is that you attacked the lamp shade from the top. 1.3441 0.06395 93 68 18 7
1349 There's a collar mandate, sure, but they didn't say how you have to wear it. 1.3441 0.06209 93 67 20 6
1350 Well,don't know about you, but the last thing I remember was swinging from the light and I woke up like this.. 1.3441 0.06395 93 68 18 7
1351 Why Rudy, I didn’t realize you were a cross dresser. 1.3441 0.06018 93 66 22 5
1352 You look different than your profile picture. 1.3441 0.06209 93 67 20 6
1353 They got tired of my amplified barking. 1.3441 0.06921 93 71 12 10
1354 It's difficult, but I can still lick my balls. 1.3441 0.06018 93 66 22 5
1355 Not sure. Something about reverse psychology. 1.3441 0.06395 93 68 18 7
1356 He said we were going on a walk. Next thing I know I woke up like this. 1.3441 0.06018 93 66 22 5
1357 I ate right through my bowl.How in hell did you do that 1.3438 0.06594 96 72 15 9
1358 I just ran through the doggy door at a dead run, like always.... 1.3438 0.06253 96 70 19 7
1359 It’s the rage in Paris. 1.3438 0.06253 96 70 19 7
1360 I have a big favor to ask you. 1.3438 0.06253 96 70 19 7
1361 Did you also get in a fight with the lamp? 1.3434 0.05772 99 70 24 5
1362 I'm telling you, this is going to turn the cone industry on its head. 1.3434 0.05948 99 71 22 6
1363 I’ve easily shaved a half second off my average fetch time. 1.3434 0.05948 99 71 22 6
1364 Concave. An interesting choice. 1.3434 0.05948 99 71 22 6
1365 Pick up any good channels on that thing? 1.3434 0.06119 99 72 20 7
1366 But we have the same owner! 1.3429 0.07305 70 51 14 5
1367 Looks like we are a perfect fit. 1.3429 0.05384 105 73 28 4
1368 I'm an 'inny'. You're an 'outty' . 1.3429 0.07305 70 51 14 5
1369 Did I tell you I’d joined the priesthood? 1.3429 0.06176 105 78 18 9
1370 But it makes me look younger, don’t you think? 1.3425 0.06819 73 52 17 4
1371 I saw it on TikTok. 1.3425 0.07092 73 53 15 5
1372 The echo was just KILLING me! 1.3425 0.07092 73 53 15 5
1373 At least I can still lick your butt 1.3425 0.07356 73 54 13 6
1374 I have to wear it like this until my new cat tattoo heals." 1.3425 0.06819 73 52 17 4
1375 I flip it back right before I get home. They still haven't figured out I can, so please don't say anything. 1.3425 0.06819 73 52 17 4
1376 Why yes, my owner is Jewish. Why do you ask?" 1.3421 0.07387 76 57 12 7
1377 Interesting, which one of us is fashion forward. 1.3421 0.06896 76 55 16 5
1378 It’s reversible 1.3421 0.06896 76 55 16 5
1379 I prefer the more priestly look. 1.3421 0.07146 76 56 14 6
1380 Check the seams......I think you have it on inside out. 1.3421 0.06367 76 53 20 3
1381 Funny, I can hear you just fine. 1.3421 0.07387 76 57 12 7
1382 Some party last night." 1.3418 0.06211 79 55 21 3
1383 Hear what? 1.3418 0.06467 79 56 19 4
1384 You turn me on! 1.3418 0.06467 79 56 19 4
1385 Never before Memorial Day or after Labor Day. 1.3418 0.06467 79 56 19 4
1386 No, I haven't been bad. I joined the clergy. 1.3418 0.06467 79 56 19 4
1387 I always thought my vet was dyslexic. 1.3418 0.06951 79 58 15 6
1388 There's no copay, the only catch is he never finished veterinary school. 1.3418 0.07403 79 60 11 8
1389 I am a downward dog. 1.3418 0.06713 79 57 17 5
1390 I can rip out your stitches for you if you like 1.3417 0.05736 120 89 21 10
1391 I got tired of always hearing the sound of the ocean. 1.3415 0.06309 82 58 20 4
1392 If I do you, you'll do me? 1.3415 0.06543 82 59 18 5
1393 It's clear, our vets have different opinions! 1.3415 0.06770 82 60 16 6
1394 I'm a licker, not a biter 1.3415 0.06543 82 59 18 5
1395 And with the two pair of pants, it's four different outfits. 1.3415 0.07201 82 62 12 8
1396 I guess I see things from a different perspective! 1.3415 0.06543 82 59 18 5
1397 Mine’s a Louis Vuitton. Yours? 1.3415 0.06543 82 59 18 5
1398 I've had my vaccine. 1.3415 0.06309 82 58 20 4
1399 Either way—it’s supposed to promote healing and human laughter. 1.3415 0.06989 82 61 14 7
1400 Ten bucks says I can beat you in our race today to the fire hydrant. 1.3415 0.06309 82 58 20 4
1401 I wanted to be fast enough to catch the mailman 1.3415 0.06309 82 58 20 4
1402 Hey Boomer, I’m Gen Y. 1.3412 0.05930 85 59 23 3
1403 It's the latest thing, aerodynamically designed for dogs who chase cars. 1.3412 0.05689 85 58 25 2
1404 It's easy. Just stick your head out the window on the drive home. 1.3412 0.06385 85 61 19 5
1405 I'm not shouting. 1.3412 0.06600 85 62 17 6
1406 Just ride shotgun. It works every time. 1.3412 0.06161 85 60 21 4
1407 Mine? Its for aerodynamics. 1.3412 0.05930 85 59 23 3
1408 My vet says it's more aerodynamic. 1.3412 0.06600 85 62 17 6
1409 It’s easy. When she gets it up past 40, stick your head out the window. Works like a charm. 1.3412 0.06600 85 62 17 6
1410 It's reversible for fighting. 1.3412 0.06385 85 61 19 5
1411 The 1980's called. They want their collar back. 1.3412 0.06600 85 62 17 6
1412 Some wind! 1.3412 0.05930 85 59 23 3
1413 The Elizabethan collar is so pre plague 1.3412 0.06385 85 61 19 5
1414 Heh, my owner can’t figure out how I did it either. 1.3412 0.06385 85 61 19 5
1415 It sure makes it easier getting out of the dog door. 1.3409 0.06442 88 64 18 6
1416 I think this could lead to a very symbiotic relationship. 1.3409 0.06642 88 65 16 7
1417 It’s more of a political statement, really. 1.3409 0.06236 88 63 20 5
1418 It just felt too “Handmaid’s Tale” you know? 1.3409 0.06442 88 64 18 6
1419 I'm the nose cone. 1.3409 0.06236 88 63 20 5
1420 I know, I know. Was rushed dressing but I've gotten a lot of compliments. 1.3409 0.06023 88 62 22 4
1421 It was on sale! 1.3409 0.06836 88 66 14 8
1422 I call it the cone of dignity. 1.3409 0.06023 88 62 22 4
1423 Windy day huh? 1.3407 0.06294 91 66 19 6
1424 Either way, it beats a mask. 1.3407 0.05682 91 63 25 3
1425 75% off 1.3407 0.06670 91 68 15 8
1426 I never know if I’m coming or going! 1.3407 0.07027 91 70 11 10
1427 Coming or going? 1.3407 0.06485 91 67 17 7
1428 Did you get dressed in the dark? 1.3407 0.06485 91 67 17 7
1429 It’s like wearing your mask below your nose 1.3407 0.06096 91 65 21 5
1430 Would you like me to scratch that for you? 1.3407 0.06485 91 67 17 7
1431 It really gives you a different perspective on the world. 1.3407 0.06294 91 66 19 6
1432 ...so the acoustics aren’t as good, but it did shave a quarter second off my lap time... 1.3407 0.06096 91 65 21 5
1433 It's all fun and games until you need to use the dog door. 1.3404 0.05770 94 66 24 4
1434 It got me over ten thousand likes in one hour. 1.3404 0.06515 94 70 16 8
1435 The aerodynamics are better, but it’s still a drag. 1.3404 0.06515 94 70 16 8
1436 I just had to run really fast. 1.3404 0.06515 94 70 16 8
1437 I still like you, but we run in different circles now. 1.3404 0.06515 94 70 16 8
1438 It would appear my human is one leash short of a walk in the park. 1.3404 0.05568 94 65 26 3
1439 Then they rolled down the window, so I just stuck my head out like I always do. 1.3404 0.05965 94 67 22 5
1440 Either way it stinks. 1.3404 0.05965 94 67 22 5
1441 I got lucky, my vet is dyslexic. 1.3402 0.05841 97 69 23 5
1442 Oh no, I didn't have surgery. I'm Cotton Mather's dog. 1.3402 0.06198 97 71 19 7
1443 My vet embraces a hipster style. 1.3402 0.06022 97 70 21 6
1444 Clearly we are made for each other 1.3402 0.06022 97 70 21 6
1445 Hey, don’t you know anything about aerodynamics? 1.3402 0.06198 97 71 19 7
1446 I see you had the trainee vet. 1.3400 0.05360 100 69 28 3
1447 On the other hand, some guys do enjoy wind resistance... 1.3400 0.05898 100 72 22 6
1448 Want me to lick it for you? 1.3400 0.06547 100 76 14 10
1449 And I can run faster too! 1.3400 0.06231 100 74 18 8
1450 What can I tell you? He’s a good owner but absolutely refuses to read instructions. 1.3400 0.06067 100 73 20 7
1451 I still chew, but I feel guilty about it. 1.3400 0.05898 100 72 22 6
1452 No, seriously. This is how we wear them in Australia. 1.3398 0.05943 103 75 21 7
1453 Easy, I just went through the pet door. 1.3398 0.05943 103 75 21 7
1454 It's great for talking, not so great for listening. 1.3398 0.05781 103 74 23 6
1455 It's like an "innie" or an "outie" 1.3396 0.05509 106 75 26 5
1456 I was just trying to turn off the lamp. 1.3396 0.06126 106 79 18 9
1457 Introvert ------Extrovert 1.3380 0.05999 71 48 22 1
1458 The instructions say it's reversible. 1.3380 0.06933 71 51 16 4
1459 That frames your face beautifully! 1.3380 0.06933 71 51 16 4
1460 I was going for more Puritan chic than Edwardian formal. 1.3380 0.06933 71 51 16 4
1461 Well, the so-called ‘experts’ also say not to eat your own poo. 1.3380 0.06933 71 51 16 4
1462 Sorry about your balls, dude. 1.3378 0.07521 74 56 11 7
1463 I think he just doesn't know how to draw necks. 1.3378 0.06168 74 51 21 2
1464 Vet? That’s why I go to a chiropractor. 1.3378 0.07270 74 55 13 6
1465 Well yeah,but it cuts wind resistance and I can look up when it’s raining. 1.3378 0.06742 74 53 17 4
1466 Yeah I run a lot faster now. I look thinner. It’s just really I feel like an all around “better me”. 1.3378 0.06742 74 53 17 4
1467 I bought mine at untuckit.com 1.3377 0.06820 77 56 16 5
1468 Yeah! I got the part in the upcoming season of Handmaid's Tale! 1.3377 0.07066 77 57 14 6
1469 I'm Australian. 1.3377 0.07066 77 57 14 6
1470 It's how all the dogs are wearing it in Paris! 1.3377 0.07304 77 58 12 7
1471 I see that you are not from around here. 1.3377 0.06820 77 56 16 5
1472 My vet may be dyslexic, but the thermometer goes in my mouth. 1.3377 0.06299 77 54 20 3
1473 Did you jump DOWN through a lampshade? 1.3377 0.06820 77 56 16 5
1474 It gives me better mileage! 1.3377 0.06565 77 55 18 4
1475 ... and this vet will prescribe mushrooms too. 1.3375 0.05610 80 54 25 1
1476 This feels like a Yin-Yang moment. 1.3375 0.06877 80 59 15 6
1477 It's a "think outside the cone" solution. 1.3375 0.07103 80 60 13 7
1478 Ask yourself ‘Does the cone shame the dog or does the dog shame the cone?’ 1.3375 0.06400 80 57 19 4
1479 I couldn't see the keys to play the piano. 1.3375 0.06148 80 56 21 3
1480 I thought the light bulb was a ball. You? 1.3373 0.06477 83 60 18 5
1481 One good sneeze will fix it. 1.3373 0.06700 83 61 16 6
1482 Car... window... need I say more? 1.3373 0.06477 83 60 18 5
1483 The manual says it offers protection without forgoing the pleasure. 1.3373 0.06700 83 61 16 6
1484 Thank God my master is a complete idiot. 1.3373 0.07125 83 63 12 8
1485 I find that look a bit too preppy for me 1.3373 0.06477 83 60 18 5
1486 Wait until you're running into a head wind!" 1.3373 0.06006 83 58 22 3
1487 What cone? 1.3373 0.06700 83 61 16 6
1488 No, I'm a nun. 1.3373 0.06477 83 60 18 5
1489 This is a lot more aerodynamic. 1.3373 0.06246 83 59 20 4
1490 It also makes a darling skirt! 1.3373 0.06477 83 60 18 5
1491 It’s a retro look, but it’s still evolving. 1.3372 0.06102 86 61 21 4
1492 Check it out... butt sniffing made easy. 1.3372 0.06741 86 64 15 7
1493 That collar is so pre-covid 1.3372 0.06322 86 62 19 5
1494 My parents are hipsters. 1.3372 0.06102 86 61 21 4
1495 Just one more reason to stick your head out of the car window! 1.3372 0.06322 86 62 19 5
1496 Listen, scratch my back, and I'll scratch yours. 1.3372 0.06102 86 61 21 4
1497 Run like the wind, my friend. Run like the wind! 1.3372 0.06322 86 62 19 5
1498 Well maybe *your* owner is doing it wrong. 1.3372 0.06102 86 61 21 4
1499 They forgot about the dog door. 1.3372 0.06741 86 64 15 7
1500 You appreciate the improved aerodynamics almost immediately. 1.3372 0.06322 86 62 19 5
1501 Just wait until it rains... then you’ll wish it was facing the same way mine is. 1.3372 0.06322 86 62 19 5
1502 Medically, they are both effective, but I get to eat. 1.3372 0.06102 86 61 21 4
1503 I’m glad you came over - I’’m an introvert. 1.3372 0.06322 86 62 19 5
1504 And it improves your getaway speed if they drop the leash. 1.3372 0.06322 86 62 19 5
1505 Mine is to protect my implants. 1.3372 0.06322 86 62 19 5
1506 Just find yourself a wind tunnel. 1.3372 0.06102 86 61 21 4
1507 Yep, a recent vet school grad! 1.3372 0.06322 86 62 19 5
1508 The science says they really don't work, you know. 1.3372 0.06102 86 61 21 4
1509 You just gotta run really fast 1.3371 0.06578 89 66 16 7
1510 It’s not put on wrong! My veterinarian is just dyslexic. 1.3371 0.06381 89 65 18 6
1511 It's not what you wear, bitch, it's how you wear it. 1.3371 0.06578 89 66 16 7
1512 My crime?—cat chase, lampshade. What you in for? 1.3371 0.06177 89 64 20 5
1513 He just got a new convertible and it is FAST! 1.3371 0.06381 89 65 18 6
1514 More aerodynamic this way 1.3371 0.06177 89 64 20 5
1515 I was going for the Puritan look. 1.3371 0.06381 89 65 18 6
1516 "Just sayin', Mildred, maybe it's time for a new look." 1.3371 0.06177 89 64 20 5
1517 Well, it was more of a cosmetic procedure 1.3371 0.05967 89 63 22 4
1518 I tell you, you don't have to change, it's just a matter of perspective 1.3371 0.06177 89 64 20 5
1519 This way my flatulence doesn’t bother me that much. 1.3371 0.05967 89 63 22 4
1520 Next time, go up the lamp. 1.3370 0.06786 92 70 13 9
1521 All the cool dogs are wearing it backwards these days. 1.3370 0.06041 92 66 21 5
1522 That was quite a wind! 1.3370 0.05840 92 65 23 4
1523 I crashed through a popcorn bucket. You? 1.3370 0.06041 92 66 21 5
1524 Dude,your stuck in the cone of silence. 1.3370 0.05840 92 65 23 4
1525 I wonder how many are trying out for that retro RCA ad? 1.3370 0.06608 92 69 15 8
1526 I'm telling you, just turn and face the wind and you'll be back normal in no time. 1.3370 0.06236 92 67 19 6
1527 Hey! I have an innie and you have an outie. 1.3370 0.06786 92 70 13 9
1528 The wife makes me wear it in public. This is my small act of defiance. 1.3370 0.06041 92 66 21 5
1529 Breast reduction. And you? 1.3370 0.05840 92 65 23 4
1530 You’re not wearing your mask properly. 1.3370 0.06608 92 69 15 8
1531 It accentuates my eyes. 1.3368 0.05817 95 70 19 6
1532 I didn't have the heart to tell them. 1.3368 0.06456 95 71 16 8
1533 It's easy! Just stick your head out the window on the expressway. 1.3368 0.06280 95 70 18 7
1534 It's called a Conical Canonical and reflects my recent repudiation of humanism. 1.3368 0.05913 95 68 22 5
1535 That's exactly how they want you to wear it. Free your mind, man. 1.3368 0.06456 95 71 16 8
1536 Well, Meghan is the expert on collaring, and she says Elizabethian is out. 1.3368 0.06280 95 70 18 7
1537 Do I still look fat? 1.3368 0.05314 95 65 28 2
1538 He's out of network, but worth every penny. 1.3368 0.06099 95 69 20 6
1539 But seriously who cares anymore? 1.3368 0.06280 95 70 18 7
1540 Welp. I thought it was a cape. 1.3368 0.06280 95 70 18 7
1541 I can also do the moonwalk 1.3368 0.05720 95 67 24 4
1542 Oh, I see you’re wearing last season’s style. 1.3368 0.05521 95 66 26 3
1543 My hooman never reads the instructions. 1.3367 0.06144 98 72 19 7
1544 I prefer this look. Of course, our balls were still cut off. 1.3367 0.05792 98 70 23 5
1545 You scratch my back and I lick your balls? Sounds fair. 1.3367 0.06478 98 74 15 9
1546 Reversed, it’s no longer a cone of shame, now I’m a member of the clergy. 1.3367 0.06478 98 74 15 9
1547 They got me the premium model that converts to this setting for car rides with the window down. 1.3367 0.04907 98 73 20 5
1548 Mine's built for speed! 1.3367 0.05971 98 71 21 6
1549 You went to the vet, too?" - "No. I fought a lamp. I won. 1.3367 0.05700 98 72 20 6
1550 I still can't gnaw at myself but I'm way more aerodynamic. 1.3366 0.05677 101 72 24 5
1551 My owners believe in reverse psychology. 1.3366 0.05849 101 73 22 6
1552 No I decided to join the church 1.3366 0.06178 101 75 18 8
1553 Trust me, it’s easier to lick your balls. 1.3365 0.06203 104 78 17 9
1554 I take it you're an introvert? 1.3365 0.05895 104 76 21 7
1555 My vet accepts bribes. 1.3364 0.06077 107 80 18 9
1556 You scratch my back and I'll scratch yours 1.3362 0.05468 116 84 25 7
1557 I stuck my head out the car window and started it new fad. 1.3333 0.06321 90 66 18 6
1558 This way I don't get stuck in that damn doggie door. 1.3333 0.06224 96 71 18 7
1559 I can get so much more licking done this way. 1.3333 0.05819 87 61 23 3
1560 My owner's a nun. 1.3333 0.06932 75 55 15 5
1561 So you're a "collar-popped-up" kind of guy 1.3333 0.05960 78 54 22 2
1562 I would if we were dating. 1.3333 0.06412 84 61 18 5
1563 I told you my owner doesn't know his back-end from his head. 1.3333 0.05966 102 75 20 7
1564 Your barking’s not as loud, but it’s way easier to stick your head out the car window 1.3333 0.06743 69 49 17 3
1565 Hi Flashlight, I'm Sister Lucy 1.3333 0.06888 90 69 12 9
1566 He's dyslexic. 1.3333 0.06495 78 56 18 4
1567 It’s easy, just stick your head out of the car window next time. 1.3333 0.06412 84 61 18 5
1568 Quite simple, you just have to stand in front of a fan. 1.3333 0.06560 72 51 18 3
1569 Sure, I lose a little in scent and sound collection, but I gain so much aerodynamically. 1.3333 0.06185 84 60 20 4
1570 I’m an Australian Shepard. This is how we wear them down under. 1.3333 0.05702 84 58 24 2
1571 I don't think you scratching my back if I lick you-know-where is entirely fair. 1.3333 0.06365 93 69 17 7
1572 I guess I am a bit different. 1.3333 0.06185 84 60 20 4
1573 I can run faster this way. 1.3333 0.06471 87 64 17 6
1574 My humans and I came to a compromise. 1.3333 0.05671 96 68 24 4
1575 ...I know, but I gain 1.3 mph more when chasing squirrels. 1.3333 0.06675 87 65 15 7
1576 It's simple, just stick your head out the window when they're driving fast. 1.3333 0.06471 87 64 17 6
1577 You know how we do it... just stick your head out the car window 1.3333 0.06573 81 59 17 5
1578 It's Backward Day at obedience school. 1.3333 0.06515 90 67 16 7
1579 Its a convertable! 1.3333 0.05575 84 60 21 3
1580 You’re right, my love of period dramas has gotten out of hand. 1.3333 0.05631 102 73 24 5
1581 This is Biden's America. 1.3333 0.06471 87 64 17 6
1582 It's the aerodynamic model 1.3333 0.06632 84 62 16 6
1583 Mine's a Dior. 1.3333 0.06120 90 65 20 5
1584 Oh that? I'm pre op 1.3333 0.06573 81 59 17 5
1585 I know. My owner is left-handed. 1.3333 0.05966 102 75 20 7
1586 I was tired of the 'Handmaid's Tale' jokes. 1.3333 0.07912 72 56 8 8
1587 The canine equivalent to wearing your mask below your nose. 1.3333 0.07132 72 53 14 5
1588 It has changed my life! 1.3333 0.06321 90 66 18 6
1589 You don't want to see where he puts my leash. 1.3333 0.06091 99 73 19 7
1590 Who did yours? 1.3333 0.06560 72 51 18 3
1591 I lucked out, my owner didn't read the manual. 1.3333 0.05861 96 69 22 5
1592 They’re using reverse psychology on me. 1.3333 0.06086 81 57 21 3
1593 I turned my cone of shame into a fashion statement. 1.3333 0.06044 87 62 21 4
1594 OK Boomer 1.3333 0.06283 102 77 16 9
1595 it cut 10 seconds on my 100 yard dash time! 1.3333 0.05275 102 71 28 3
1596 Much more aerodynamic. 1.3333 0.07051 84 64 12 8
1597 I’ll scratch yours if you’ll scratch mine. 1.3333 0.06804 81 60 15 6
1598 It’s to keep me from touching my face 1.3333 0.06185 84 60 20 4
1599 So ... Have you ever been in a wind tunnel? 1.3333 0.06804 81 60 15 6
1600 I just really hate the sound of my own voice. 1.3333 0.06412 84 61 18 5
1601 Trump is gone. It's okay to listen again! 1.3333 0.06845 84 63 14 7
1602 I suppose it's a matter of taste". 1.3333 0.07187 75 56 13 6
1603 Careful, it's kinda windy outside. 1.3333 0.06932 75 55 15 5
1604 No, really. They clocked me at going 93 miles an hour out of that vet’s office. 1.3333 0.06471 87 64 17 6
1605 Yes....and Dog is just God spelled backwards, so what’s your point? 1.3333 0.06845 84 63 14 7
1606 introvert meets extrovert 1.3333 0.07052 69 50 15 4
1607 Don't you just love it -- it's reversible! 1.3333 0.05912 90 64 22 4
1608 At least your bark sounds deeper. 1.3333 0.06989 78 58 14 6
1609 This way it's a cone of style, not shame. 1.3333 0.06632 84 62 16 6
1610 My only explanation is my human must be dyslexic 1.3333 0.06989 78 58 14 6
1611 All it took was a little reverse psychology! 1.3333 0.06261 87 63 19 5
1612 Viva la différence ! 1.3333 0.06746 78 57 16 5
1613 Expecting rain? 1.3333 0.06185 84 60 20 4
1614 My owners are big on reverse psychology. 1.3333 0.06179 93 68 19 6
1615 Apparently it's how all the neutered dogs are wearing it now. 1.3333 0.06989 78 58 14 6
1616 You see a cone of shame I see a daring fashion statement. 1.3333 0.06334 81 58 19 4
1617 Plus, mine makes me look faster! 1.3333 0.05847 105 77 21 7
1618 The doctor LIKES me 1.3333 0.06804 81 60 15 6
1619 This way we can still give kisses. 1.3333 0.05456 102 72 26 4
1620 Either way. It's hard. 1.3333 0.06365 93 69 17 7
1621 Gary, nobody wears it like that anymore. 1.3333 0.05262 108 76 28 4
1622 It's way more aero. 1.3333 0.07027 81 61 13 7
1623 He can’t figure out a pastry bag either! 1.3333 0.07223 78 59 12 7
1624 Just run as fast as you can, into the wind. 1.3333 0.05920 99 72 21 6
1625 That thing on your head looks stupid. 1.3333 0.06046 96 70 20 6
1626 fashion > function 1.3333 0.06573 81 59 17 5
1627 And when the speedometer hits 87 mph, no more, no less, that’s when you stick your head out the window. 1.3333 0.06283 102 77 16 9
1628 I'm telling you, sticking your head out the car window is way better with that thing on! 1.3333 0.06179 93 68 19 6
1629 It’s a Pilgrim thing. 1.3333 0.05788 93 66 23 4
1630 Two dogs explaining to humans why it’s important to wear a face mask properly 1.3333 0.06932 75 55 15 5
1631 I tried it that way but couldn't lick my butt. 1.3333 0.05966 102 75 20 7
1632 I've always preferred backing in. 1.3333 0.05165 96 73 17 6
1633 I'll scratch your butt if you scratch mine. 1.3333 0.06365 93 69 17 7
1634 I wasn't at the vet, I got mine when I knocked a lamp over. 1.3333 0.06412 84 61 18 5
1635 It adds an element of aerodynamic sophistication. 1.3333 0.06044 87 62 21 4
1636 Sure that magnifies your bark, but at least I can still bite 1.3333 0.06044 87 62 21 4
1637 At least we can still sniff each other's butts. 1.3333 0.06471 87 64 17 6
1638 It looks great on you, but I just knew I couldn’t pull off that Handmaid’s Tale look. 1.3333 0.06932 75 55 15 5
1639 Well, during Paris Fashion Week everyone was wearing them this way. 1.3333 0.05788 93 66 23 4
1640 It's easy. You just walk in backwards like you're walking out... 1.3333 0.06261 87 63 19 5
1641 I still can't reach my nuts, but at least now I can see them 1.3333 0.06126 102 76 18 8
1642 This way the shame is on the inside. 1.3333 0.06029 108 81 18 9
1643 I got my head stuck in a lampshade too! 1.3333 0.06120 90 65 20 5
1644 My therapist says shame slows the healing process 1.3333 0.05948 84 59 22 3
1645 It's Fashion Week 1.3333 0.06632 84 62 16 6
1646 Max, I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship. 1.3333 0.05933 87 64 18 5
1647 I don't like to read instructions. 1.3333 0.06852 72 52 16 4
1648 No, I just had a run-in with the lamp. 1.3333 0.06804 81 60 15 6
1649 Objects in mirror, are closer than they appear. 1.3333 0.05934 72 49 22 1
1650 Popped collars are so last year. 1.3333 0.05987 93 67 21 5
1651 They said it was making my barks too loud. 1.3333 0.07223 78 59 12 7
1652 I know, right? They let the intern handle the cones again. 1.3333 0.06086 81 57 21 3
1653 This way makes me look slimmer. 1.3333 0.05671 96 68 24 4
1654 My vet is holistic. 1.3333 0.06573 81 59 17 5
1655 Some dogs chase the trends, I create them. 1.3333 0.06120 90 65 20 5
1656 And you should see the doghouse my owners got me from IKEA 1.3333 0.06560 72 51 18 3
1657 No, I don't have fleas. I ran into a lamp. 1.3333 0.06185 84 60 20 4
1658 Yours gets better reception 1.3333 0.06261 87 63 19 5
1659 So, your human still not woke, huh? 1.3333 0.07132 72 53 14 5
1660 Mine is a N94 , I ordered it on line 1.3333 0.06258 99 74 17 8
1661 You dive in the lake one time. 1.3333 0.06573 81 59 17 5
1662 Cone of shame? Try the Cone of Fame! 1.3304 0.05365 112 83 22 7
1663 I don't have any teeth so mine is more of a fashion statement. 1.3302 0.05315 106 75 27 4
1664 And to think they told me it wasn't reversible. 1.3302 0.06102 106 80 17 9
1665 It's aerodynamic - you must feel a lot of drag. 1.3301 0.06230 103 78 16 9
1666 So I guess you’re not Jewish, huh? 1.3301 0.05917 103 76 20 7
1667 What are you looking at? It’s not like I did this to myself... 1.3300 0.05423 100 73 22 5
1668 Mine’s for extroverts. 1.3300 0.06204 100 75 17 8
1669 I had just finished telling that vet that he wouldn't know his head from his tail 1.3300 0.06365 100 76 15 9
1670 I like the way it highlights your nose. 1.3300 0.05695 100 72 23 5
1671 Look friend, I run 30% faster with this thing on! 1.3299 0.05811 97 70 22 5
1672 No surgery, just dressing like a lamp today. 1.3299 0.05811 97 70 22 5
1673 I know. I got dressed in the dark this morning. 1.3299 0.05993 97 71 20 6
1674 What are you in for? I got caught lickin’. 1.3299 0.05993 97 71 20 6
1675 My vet said it's a better look on Zoom. 1.3299 0.05227 97 72 20 5
1676 I don't think it makes your face look fat. 1.3299 0.05993 97 71 20 6
1677 „Updated CDC guidance.“ 1.3299 0.05623 97 69 24 4
1678 I swallowed the light bulb. 1.3298 0.05737 94 67 23 4
1679 I had my neuter reversed. 1.3298 0.06486 94 71 15 8
1680 I decided to prioritize comfort over functionality. 1.3298 0.06123 94 69 19 6
1681 I thought I was getting ice cream. You? 1.3298 0.06307 94 70 17 7
1682 The vet's friend of mine. 1.3298 0.05737 94 67 23 4
1683 Honey, the event is casual, not formal. 1.3298 0.06123 94 69 19 6
1684 My people subscribe to the progressive method. 1.3298 0.05534 94 66 25 3
1685 I like thinking out of the cone 1.3298 0.06486 94 71 15 8
1686 Less drag this way. 1.3298 0.05637 94 69 20 5
1687 My dad threw away the instructions. 1.3298 0.06123 94 69 19 6
1688 Next time try getting yours at The Humane Society. 1.3297 0.06261 91 67 18 6
1689 I was tired of feeling "Greater Than". 1.3297 0.06063 91 66 20 5
1690 Very nice! Is it Dior? 1.3297 0.06454 91 68 16 7
1691 We can kiss, but not neck. 1.3297 0.06454 91 68 16 7
1692 Dyslectic vet 1.3297 0.06063 91 66 20 5
1693 I have to use a little hair product but then it stays back for most of the day.” 1.3297 0.06261 91 67 18 6
1694 Don't look at me like that! I saw it in Vogue. 1.3297 0.06454 91 68 16 7
1695 Maybe don't stick your head out of the car window. 1.3297 0.06063 91 66 20 5
1696 Did you know you have a lamp shade on your head? 1.3297 0.05537 91 71 13 7
1697 My therapist says I need to focus more on my surroundings, and live in the moment 1.3297 0.06261 91 67 18 6
1698 Does your owner wear their mask on their forehead? 1.3297 0.05646 91 64 24 3
1699 What surgery? I got my head stuck in a megaphone. 1.3297 0.06640 91 69 14 8
1700 Oh yeah, well I can still drink from the toilet, you can’t. 1.3297 0.06454 91 68 16 7
1701 I've been telling you, you've got to use reverse psychology on humans 1.3295 0.06201 88 64 19 5
1702 There are advantages in being clergy. 1.3295 0.06609 88 66 15 7
1703 Lampshade, and you? 1.3295 0.06993 88 68 11 9
1704 Margaret Atwood called and asked me to audition. 1.3295 0.06804 88 67 13 8
1705 I told them it was too windy to go for a walk 1.3295 0.06409 88 65 17 6
1706 What are you, an idiot? 1.3295 0.06409 88 65 17 6
1707 At least you know when you have dog-food breath. 1.3295 0.04343 88 64 22 2
1708 To each his cone. 1.3295 0.06609 88 66 15 7
1709 And you just BELIEVE what the vet tells you?" 1.3295 0.06409 88 65 17 6
1710 My master does it with his baseball cap. 1.3295 0.06201 88 64 19 5
1711 Simply stand facing the wind. 1.3295 0.06201 88 64 19 5
1712 My owner likes Rembrandt. 1.3295 0.06201 88 64 19 5
1713 I still can’t lick myself, but at least I look good. 1.3295 0.05765 88 62 23 3
1714 Yes, my owners usually wear masks below their nose... why do you ask? 1.3295 0.06201 88 64 19 5
1715 I've decided to go into the priesthood, 1.3294 0.06124 85 61 20 4
1716 You have to know how to train them. 1.3294 0.06348 85 62 18 5
1717 I feel 20 years younger. 1.3294 0.06565 85 63 16 6
1718 Introvert vs. Extrovert 1.3294 0.06124 85 61 20 4
1719 I guess our vet is dyslexic, but I am just being obtuse. 1.3294 0.06565 85 63 16 6
1720 It's not too late. You can still switch to the Sisters of St. Joseph. 1.3294 0.06348 85 62 18 5
1721 This works better on the top of Mitt Romney's car. 1.3294 0.06565 85 63 16 6
1722 What echo chamber? 1.3294 0.06565 85 63 16 6
1723 Oh that's so last dog-year." 1.3294 0.06124 85 61 20 4
1724 Yeah. All you have to do is run like hell through your doggie door. 1.3294 0.06124 85 61 20 4
1725 Mange is a hoax. 1.3294 0.06775 85 64 14 7
1726 Wind resistance is noticeably less. 1.3294 0.06348 85 62 18 5
1727 ANOTHER thing we do not agree on! 1.3294 0.05648 85 59 24 2
1728 I've traded reception for speed... 1.3294 0.06775 85 64 14 7
1729 I was rear-ended and my lawyer thinks it's serious! 1.3294 0.06775 85 64 14 7
1730 helluva head wind out there. 1.3294 0.06124 85 61 20 4
1731 I'm a cone head and you're the flying nun 1.3294 0.06348 85 62 18 5
1732 when I sit, I stop traffic 1.3294 0.06979 85 65 12 8
1733 My mom really likes RBG 1.3294 0.06565 85 63 16 6
1734 We left Elizabethan England for Plimoth so we could wear our collars this way. 1.3294 0.06124 85 61 20 4
1735 I just stuck my head out the car at just the right angle 1.3294 0.06124 85 61 20 4
1736 My owner's an idiot, that's why! 1.3293 0.06505 82 60 17 5
1737 My owner seldom reads directions 1.3293 0.06953 82 62 13 7
1738 Dude! You gotta get the aerodynamic upgrade. 1.3293 0.06505 82 60 17 5
1739 Difference is my friend. I look goooooood. 1.3293 0.06505 82 60 17 5
1740 I think it looks more fetching this way. 1.3293 0.06270 82 59 19 4
1741 This is one of the things I like best about divinity school 1.3293 0.07166 82 63 11 8
1742 I stopped scratching and joined the clergy. 1.3293 0.06505 82 60 17 5
1743 Couldn't you get the vaccine? 1.3293 0.06953 82 62 13 7
1744 It sucks to be you when it rains! 1.3293 0.06270 82 59 19 4
1745 Yeah? Well, I think yours is on backwards! 1.3293 0.06025 82 58 21 3
1746 I know a guy... 1.3293 0.06505 82 60 17 5
1747 Your may hear better, but I can run faster. 1.3293 0.06733 82 61 15 6
1748 It was easy. I just told Karen it would be slenderizing. 1.3293 0.06505 82 60 17 5
1749 Not sure— I think it’s to prevent my body from licking my face 1.3293 0.06953 82 62 13 7
1750 On a diet again, Brian? 1.3293 0.05770 82 57 23 2
1751 Hi, my name is Ginsburg. I like to take long walks in the park and dissent. 1.3293 0.07166 82 63 11 8
1752 It keeps my ass from licking my face 1.3293 0.06505 82 60 17 5
1753 Preppie. 1.3291 0.06674 79 58 16 5
1754 No, YOU look stupid. 1.3291 0.06674 79 58 16 5
1755 I was just itching to try this. 1.3291 0.06426 79 57 18 4
1756 No, I didn't have the heart to tell him. 1.3291 0.06168 79 56 20 3
1757 Strong prevailing winds today! 1.3291 0.07143 79 60 12 7
1758 Yeah, it looks cooler but I still can't lick everything. 1.3291 0.07143 79 60 12 7
1759 ”If you open your mouth does the light go on? 1.3291 0.05899 79 55 22 2
1760 Sometimes it's good when they don't know what they're doing 1.3291 0.06426 79 57 18 4
1761 Wow, it sure is windy today. 1.3291 0.06426 79 57 18 4
1762 I think my look is more fashion-forward. 1.3291 0.06168 79 56 20 3
1763 I refuse to comply with the cone mandate. 1.3291 0.06912 79 59 14 6
1764 The CDC keeps changing its mind, so I just decided to go with this. 1.3291 0.06674 79 58 16 5
1765 My person doesn't wear his over his nose, either. 1.3291 0.06674 79 58 16 5
1766 I bought the reversible kind and I simply adore it. 1.3291 0.05899 79 55 22 2
1767 Bought off the rack, eh? 1.3289 0.06037 76 53 21 2
1768 WOW....It’s really windy outside 1.3289 0.06593 76 55 17 4
1769 This way you keep them happy but lick whatever you want. 1.3289 0.06037 76 53 21 2
1770 I stuck my head out the window on the freeway. 1.3289 0.06037 76 56 17 3
1771 ...and they say “G’day” instead of “Hello” it’s so charming, you’d love it... 1.3289 0.06593 76 55 17 4
1772 Bless you Sister. Bless you Father. 1.3289 0.06321 76 54 19 3
1773 Being an "outie" makes you no less a good dog. 1.3289 0.06037 76 53 21 2
1774 When I wear it that way, the echos drive me nutsy 1.3289 0.06854 76 56 15 5
1775 But isn’t shame itself a human construct? 1.3289 0.07105 76 57 13 6
1776 It’s called street style. 1.3289 0.06593 76 55 17 4
1777 When you need to cross the road just flip it backwards. 1.3289 0.06321 76 54 19 3
1778 Its a new fashion statement, like wearing your baseball cap backwards! 1.3288 0.07048 73 54 14 5
1779 I have my human better trained 1.3288 0.07569 73 56 10 7
1780 Long story, short; I went to Buddy's birthday bash and woke up wearing this lampshade. 1.3288 0.07048 73 54 14 5
1781 This feels less punitive. 1.3288 0.07048 73 54 14 5
1782 So I stuck my head out of the car window ... 1.3288 0.06773 73 53 16 4
1783 Mine's an actual collar. 1.3288 0.06773 73 53 16 4
1784 I've always been an avant-guard dog. 1.3286 0.07258 70 52 13 5
1785 Bark less, wag more, and Voila! 1.3286 0.06817 70 53 12 5
1786 They know. But they also know I'm too fat to reach my balls anyway. 1.3286 0.06967 70 51 15 4
1787 Some people just shouldn’t have a dog 1.3286 0.07808 70 54 9 7
1788 Lagerfeld is fine but the Vermeer gives me a little more freedom 1.3284 0.07782 67 51 10 6
1789 Upturned collars are sooo 70’s, Dawg! 1.3284 0.07177 67 49 14 4
1790 Ran into a headwind 1.3276 0.05714 116 87 20 9
1791 Can I lick that for you? 1.3269 0.06025 104 78 18 8
1792 Yes, I did run into a very strong wind. Why do you ask? 1.3267 0.06151 101 76 17 8
1793 Are you going or coming? 1.3267 0.06151 101 76 17 8
1794 Just stick your head out the car window, and there you go. 1.3265 0.05941 98 72 20 6
1795 Mostly the same, just better in the wind. 1.3265 0.05576 98 70 24 4
1796 Really. Your master told you it is fashionable? 1.3265 0.05761 98 71 22 5
1797 You'll have to speak up...I can't hear you. 1.3265 0.06285 98 74 16 8
1798 I wish I could take the credit, but Mike is just a really dumb owner. 1.3265 0.06611 98 76 12 10
1799 You would think my owner would have gotten this right given he works at IKEA. 1.3265 0.05941 98 72 20 6
1800 I'm going the clergy. 1.3265 0.05576 98 70 24 4
1801 Mine was benign 1.3265 0.05941 98 72 20 6
1802 The Vet's wife said, he always gets things' ass-backward' ! 1.3265 0.05941 98 72 20 6
1803 I've done my research. 1.3265 0.05576 98 70 24 4
1804 Fox News said that it was more effective this way. 1.3263 0.06068 95 70 19 6
1805 Yep, lobster for dinner again. 1.3263 0.06250 95 71 17 7
1806 It’s a ruff. 1.3263 0.06250 95 71 17 7
1807 Lucky for me, my vet is dyslexic. 1.3263 0.06599 95 73 13 9
1808 Don't be silly -- Elizabethan is classic. I've just always been drawn to Dutch Masters. 1.3263 0.05881 95 69 21 5
1809 It's actually really flattering. Makes your face look thinner." 1.3263 0.05881 95 69 21 5
1810 I’ve been scratching my head trying to figure out how this works 1.3263 0.05881 95 69 21 5
1811 That's so Elizabethan. I've moved forward to the Puritan. 1.3261 0.06393 92 69 16 7
1812 Chewy. And who are you wearing? 1.3261 0.06756 92 71 12 9
1813 Not only is it much more comfortable, it's 88% as effective, according to the latest veterinary medical journals I've been peeing on. 1.3261 0.06393 92 69 16 7
1814 The difference between constraint and fashion is negligible 1.3261 0.06008 92 67 20 5
1815 For two weeks, until my tail stops chasing me 1.3261 0.05151 92 63 28 1
1816 Paris. Where's yours from? 1.3261 0.06008 92 67 20 5
1817 Careful,strong wind. 1.3261 0.06393 92 69 16 7
1818 You're either in, or you're out. 1.3261 0.06203 92 68 18 6
1819 They say that's the most effective way to wear it, but my Facebook group says it's a hoax." 1.3261 0.05806 92 66 22 4
1820 I find it's more aerodynamic and virtually eliminates blindspots 1.3261 0.06393 92 69 16 7
1821 Don't try to look, but there is a giant raccoon that is about to bite you. 1.3258 0.05931 89 64 21 4
1822 I reverse engineered it. 1.3258 0.06737 89 68 13 8
1823 Oh, Haute Couture! Don't you just love fashion week? 1.3258 0.06737 89 68 13 8
1824 I’m not saying you’re wrong, but there is another point of view. 1.3258 0.05931 89 64 21 4
1825 Who says you can’t teach an old dog new tricks? 1.3258 0.05931 89 64 21 4
1826 My vet? Oh, they're new. They do Alternative Medicine. 1.3258 0.06545 89 67 15 7
1827 I found it was ruining my zoom lighting. 1.3258 0.05931 89 64 21 4
1828 I said I like Trump, so they put this on to keep my head out of my ass. 1.3258 0.07106 89 70 9 10
1829 Ha ha! Mine's on my chest, yours must be on your butt! 1.3258 0.06143 89 65 19 5
1830 Dude,How old is your Vet? 1.3258 0.06143 89 65 19 5
1831 I just hope you can accept me for who I am. 1.3258 0.06143 89 65 19 5
1832 Is the pandemic over? 1.3258 0.05931 89 64 21 4
1833 In my progressive obedience school we learned negotiation. 1.3256 0.06500 86 64 16 6
1834 Mine's an Edwardian collar. They were out of Elizabethans. 1.3256 0.06500 86 64 16 6
1835 Anglican? 1.3256 0.06500 86 64 16 6
1836 I find it's more aerodynamic this way. 1.3256 0.06064 86 62 20 4
1837 If you want, I can sniff other dog-butts and describe them to you. 1.3256 0.06908 86 66 12 8
1838 Great party, but it's lampshade not a cone. 1.3256 0.05834 86 61 22 3
1839 Same protection. 30% less shame 1.3256 0.06064 86 62 20 4
1840 Some wind, huh? 1.3256 0.06286 86 63 18 5
1841 It's my constitutional right to wear my cone backwards. 1.3256 0.06064 86 62 20 4
1842 I told you I had a Dutch master. 1.3256 0.06908 86 66 12 8
1843 It’s like it’s not even there! 1.3256 0.06064 86 62 20 4
1844 No, I’m pretty sure the pilgrims wore it THIS way. 1.3256 0.06064 86 62 20 4
1845 I still get confused.....is it “Less Than < or Greater Than <“ ? 1.3256 0.06707 86 65 14 7
1846 I hate to tell you but you put it on inside out and backwards 1.3256 0.06064 86 62 20 4
1847 We'll have to agree to disagree. 1.3253 0.06439 83 61 17 5
1848 I guess it only helps for kissing. 1.3253 0.05965 83 59 21 3
1849 Hey, wanna play priest and nun? 1.3253 0.06880 83 63 13 7
1850 It makes me more aerodynamic. 1.3253 0.06439 83 61 17 5
1851 Yin meets Yang 1.3253 0.06663 83 62 15 6
1852 But your look is so much more slimming. 1.3253 0.06206 83 60 19 4
1853 I like to wear it as a cape sometimes. 1.3253 0.06206 83 60 19 4
1854 Man wasn't that a bender. 1.3253 0.05965 83 59 21 3
1855 It’s still somewhat annoying, but at least I can lick my butt... 1.3253 0.06880 83 63 13 7
1856 I find that this way is better for chasing cats. 1.3253 0.05450 83 57 25 1
1857 Newest E.P.A. regulations. Apparently, now it's all about the aerodynamics. 1.3253 0.06439 83 61 17 5
1858 It’s true that my hearing is less acute, but I can run faster. 1.3253 0.06663 83 62 15 6
1859 It all depends on which end you put on first. 1.3253 0.06439 83 61 17 5
1860 I know but now I can hear behind me. 1.3253 0.07090 83 64 11 8
1861 I lucked out. Dyslexic vet". 1.3253 0.06663 83 62 15 6
1862 They also taught me how to write a sonnet. 1.3253 0.06206 83 60 19 4
1863 I’m with Ruth 1.3253 0.06663 83 62 15 6
1864 But you have to hit the doggie door juuust right. 1.3250 0.06104 80 57 20 3
1865 I'm from Australia. 1.3250 0.06838 80 60 14 6
1866 They can’t neuter my sense of whimsy. 1.3250 0.06358 80 58 18 4
1867 I am following last week's CDC Guidelines. 1.3250 0.06602 80 59 16 5
1868 Hey, a match made in heaven! 1.3250 0.06838 80 60 14 6
1869 Pfizer or Moderna? 1.3250 0.06358 80 58 18 4
1870 It's inside-out day at doggie daycare. 1.3250 0.06481 80 61 13 6
1871 This is what happens if you go to a Trump speech. 1.3250 0.06602 80 59 16 5
1872 It’s called the “cone of speed.” 1.3250 0.06602 80 59 16 5
1873 Didn't you hear, Pilgrim is the new Elizabethan? 1.3250 0.06602 80 59 16 5
1874 Wear it like this at the dog park so you don't get beat up by the other dogs. 1.3250 0.06838 80 60 14 6
1875 if you wear it this way, it smooths out all your wrinkles 1.3250 0.06602 80 59 16 5
1876 It’s the latest from Apple; the iCone 4 1.3250 0.06602 80 59 16 5
1877 Cone of shame? Oh no Harold, this is the cone of fame! 1.3250 0.06838 80 60 14 6
1878 My sex therapist says it's healthy. 1.3247 0.06778 77 57 15 5
1879 Popped collars are very 2001, Mark. 1.3247 0.06253 77 55 19 3
1880 How do you sniff crotch in that thing? 1.3247 0.06521 77 56 17 4
1881 Are you as humiliated as I am right now? 1.3247 0.06521 77 56 17 4
1882 It seems you have the female adaptor, and I have the male! 1.3247 0.06253 77 55 19 3
1883 Mine is obviously wholly cosmetic. 1.3247 0.06253 77 55 19 3
1884 'I can't believe we had it backwards all this time!' 1.3247 0.06778 77 57 15 5
1885 I have a note from my vet. 1.3247 0.06778 77 57 15 5
1886 Left-handed vet. 1.3247 0.06778 77 57 15 5
1887 I don't think you actually know what 'reverse doggy style' means. 1.3247 0.06521 77 56 17 4
1888 I bet your humans wear their masks wrong too. 1.3247 0.05974 77 54 21 2
1889 Sorry I'm late, the wind was nuts! 1.3243 0.07227 74 56 12 6
1890 No, Rex. Upwind. 1.3243 0.06695 74 54 16 4
1891 I'm telling you - flip it around and you're a super hero! 1.3243 0.06966 74 55 14 5
1892 It's simple--You're an introvert and I'm an extrovert. 1.3243 0.06966 74 55 14 5
1893 I'll scratch your wound if you'll lick my butt. 1.3243 0.06966 74 55 14 5
1894 Tell your doctor that those Victorian collars are so passé, the Edwardian look is now all the rage. 1.3243 0.06966 74 55 14 5
1895 Due to the vet's error, Bigglesworth, I can still lick my stitches AND run like the wind! 1.3243 0.06966 74 55 14 5
1896 So, are you in or out? 1.3243 0.06966 74 55 14 5
1897 My Libertarian owner says the decision to bite should be mine. 1.3243 0.06695 74 54 16 4
1898 Can you hear me better? 1.3243 0.06117 74 52 20 2
1899 If you think this is bad, I'll show you where he puts my collar 1.3243 0.06966 74 55 14 5
1900 That's not how you wear a mask 1.3243 0.06966 74 55 14 5
1901 Only problem with wearing the collar this way is the ladies assume you’re celibate 1.3243 0.06966 74 55 14 5
1902 I've abandoned my Elizabethan fashion vibe for something more Quaker. 1.3239 0.07170 71 53 13 5
1903 I had my neck done 1.3239 0.06585 71 51 17 3
1904 Apparently, if you bend it this way you get a better signal. 1.3239 0.06884 71 52 15 4
1905 You can get it online, under "reversibles." 1.3239 0.06884 71 52 15 4
1906 At least we can still scratch and sniff our butts. 1.3239 0.07445 71 54 11 6
1907 This one is for south of the equator." 1.3239 0.07170 71 53 13 5
1908 My top speed went up five miles per hour. 1.3239 0.06585 71 51 17 3
1909 According to DOGUE, it’s the latest trend. 1.3239 0.06585 71 51 17 3
1910 I flicked the vet a $20... 1.3238 0.05661 105 77 22 6
1911 No - It's a lampshade I tried to jump through. 1.3235 0.05772 102 75 21 6
1912 As if getting fixed wasn't humiliating enough. 1.3235 0.07087 68 50 14 4
1913 No . . . . I can't honestly say that I ever look back. 1.3235 0.06438 68 48 18 2
1914 You should see my owner's umbrella. 1.3235 0.06770 68 49 16 3
1915 High waisted pants are in the spring collection, too. 1.3235 0.06770 68 49 16 3
1916 I got dressed in the dark. 1.3235 0.05425 102 73 25 4
1917 It's just... It would be a shame if there was a squirrel behind you and you couldn't see it, is all I'm saying. You're good, bro. 1.3235 0.05425 102 73 25 4
1918 I'm religiously avoiding my genitals, and you? 1.3232 0.06230 99 75 16 8
1919 I needed help licking the licking habit. 1.3232 0.05712 99 72 22 5
1920 Sticking your head out the window has an inverse reaction. 1.3232 0.05621 99 74 19 6
1921 Oh, didn’t I see you in “The Handmaiden’s Tail? 1.3232 0.06062 99 74 18 7
1922 I couldn't stand my breath! 1.3231 0.07630 65 49 11 5
1923 My therapist has turned my whole life around! 1.3229 0.05638 96 69 23 4
1924 It’s fashion backward. 1.3229 0.06194 96 72 17 7
1925 They’ said it made my bark too loud. 1.3229 0.05829 96 70 21 5
1926 Oh, I don't have stitches – I humped a lamp. 1.3229 0.06538 96 74 13 9
1927 As RBG, I'm a lock for Best in Show. 1.3229 0.06369 96 73 15 8
1928 They gave me the sports model 1.3229 0.05638 96 69 23 4
1929 I don't really need it, but it's a good conversation piece. 1.3229 0.05638 96 69 23 4
1930 No, I think I’m greater than and you’re less than. 1.3229 0.06194 96 72 17 7
1931 I went for a ride in the car 1.3229 0.06014 96 71 19 6
1932 Oh, this old thing? 1.3226 0.06146 93 69 18 6
1933 You look foolish. 1.3226 0.06334 93 70 16 7
1934 Just stand in front of a fan. It worked for me. 1.3226 0.05953 93 68 20 5
1935 I like pushing the envelope. 1.3226 0.05753 93 67 22 4
1936 It stops me from putting my foot in my mouth. 1.3222 0.06085 90 66 19 5
1937 Ain't nobody going to tell me how to wear a cone! 1.3222 0.05876 90 65 21 4
1938 No! Yours is A lampshade! 1.3222 0.06085 90 66 19 5
1939 It's so much quieter.... 1.3222 0.05659 90 64 23 3
1940 My owner had the same problem with her Covid mask. 1.3222 0.06286 90 67 17 6
1941 It’s reversible but you have to find a narrow door and get a running start 1.3222 0.06085 90 66 19 5
1942 Oh Fido, you have last year's model! 1.3222 0.05876 90 65 21 4
1943 You have got to try one of their seminars. It completely turned my life around. 1.3222 0.06085 90 66 19 5
1944 It is really windy outside. 1.3222 0.06482 90 68 15 7
1945 I have a medical exemption! 1.3222 0.06482 90 68 15 7
1946 Man! What I would give for a bark amplifier like yours! 1.3222 0.05876 90 65 21 4
1947 You get a lot less sympathy, but the aerodynamics are amazing! 1.3222 0.06482 90 68 15 7
1948 Sure, that gives you better acoustics, but this way is more aerodynamic 1.3222 0.06482 90 68 15 7
1949 My owner is is an aerodynamicist 1.3222 0.06672 90 69 13 8
1950 This new model did great in the wind-tunnel! 1.3222 0.06286 90 67 17 6
1951 I just got a little crazy and put a lampshade on my head. 1.3218 0.06838 87 67 12 8
1952 Sure, less wind resistance, but I still can't lick my ass. 1.3218 0.06640 87 66 14 7
1953 Nope, I just destroyed a lamp. 1.3218 0.06640 87 66 14 7
1954 Don't be so glum. I can pretend you're Elizabeth and I'm Sir Walter Raleigh in these outfits. 1.3218 0.06640 87 66 14 7
1955 Does this cone make my neck look long? 1.3218 0.06224 87 64 18 5
1956 Yup, stuck my head out the window, and voila! 1.3218 0.05779 87 62 22 3
1957 You're wearing your lampshade wrong. 1.3218 0.06436 87 65 16 6
1958 I had to change. The cone was amplifying my barking and I nearly went deaf. 1.3218 0.06224 87 64 18 5
1959 You’re not fooling anybody with that cone over... 1.3218 0.05779 87 62 22 3
1960 Are you auditioning for Handmaid’s Tale too?” 1.3218 0.06436 87 65 16 6
1961 You got yours at the vet's. Mine came from a party. 1.3218 0.06224 87 64 18 5
1962 I'm forward thinking, my friend. Never look back. 1.3218 0.06224 87 64 18 5
1963 If you flip it this way you kind of look like a super hero. 1.3218 0.06640 87 66 14 7
1964 I did not recognize you from the side. 1.3218 0.06838 87 67 12 8
1965 You went to the vet. I went to the convent. 1.3218 0.06224 87 64 18 5
1966 My new girlfriend wanted mine reversed . 1.3218 0.06436 87 65 16 6
1967 I wear mine in honor of RBG. 1.3214 0.06595 84 63 15 6
1968 Still into the Handmaid's tale I see. 1.3214 0.06595 84 63 15 6
1969 I just said, "Give me something less Elizabethan, give me something Star Wars!" 1.3214 0.06144 84 61 19 4
1970 I wasn't going to just roll over and let them trample all over my personal freedom. 1.3214 0.06595 84 63 15 6
1971 Yeah, it's not surprising you didn't think about it, but you can totally ask for it to be put on this way instead. 1.3214 0.06144 84 61 19 4
1972 Wanna see it again? 1.3214 0.06595 84 63 15 6
1973 I've decided to put it behind me. 1.3214 0.05906 84 60 21 3
1974 Cone or funnel, were all the same underneath 1.3214 0.06595 84 63 15 6
1975 If it's any consolation, my owner is clueless. 1.3214 0.06144 84 61 19 4
1976 I had to make some adjustments...I wasn’t picking up HBO. 1.3214 0.05906 84 60 21 3
1977 I was climbing a lamp. How'd you get yours? 1.3214 0.06144 84 61 19 4
1978 You don't get the echo if you wear it like this. 1.3214 0.06595 84 63 15 6
1979 Collar - it's the new cone. 1.3214 0.06374 84 62 17 5
1980 I saw it on “Bridgerton.” 1.3214 0.06809 84 64 13 7
1981 It's a 'lifestyle collar,' not a cone. 1.3214 0.05658 84 59 23 2
1982 And it just hit me: I can be grounded AND aerodynamic! 1.3214 0.06144 84 61 19 4
1983 So basically you can run away from problems, you just have to run really fast 1.3211 0.05512 109 80 23 6
1984 It's purely an aerodynamic decision. 1.3210 0.06533 81 60 16 5
1985 It's the difference between a utility patent and a design patent. 1.3210 0.06292 81 59 18 4
1986 Oh sweetie, that is so last year’s look. 1.3210 0.06533 81 60 16 5
1987 It beats going through the doggie door backwards. 1.3210 0.06533 81 60 16 5
1988 You do you, Curt. 1.3210 0.06292 81 59 18 4
1989 Because your a female and I'm a male, that's why. 1.3210 0.06765 81 61 14 6
1990 Yeah, I’m still a little hungover too. 1.3210 0.06533 81 60 16 5
1991 I'm going through an Elizabethan phase. 1.3210 0.06989 81 62 12 7
1992 If your bark is worse than your bite, you wear it my way. If your bite is worse than your bark, you wear it your way. 1.3210 0.06042 81 58 20 3
1993 When I wear it this way, it hides my extra COVID weight. 1.3210 0.06765 81 61 14 6
1994 You have to know the right people. 1.3210 0.05507 81 56 24 1
1995 I signed up for a clinical trial, but they may have given me a placebo" 1.3210 0.06533 81 60 16 5
1996 Get with it Man, It is 2021. 1.3210 0.06533 81 60 16 5
1997 So, you run fast enough... 1.3210 0.06533 81 60 16 5
1998 I had my attorney call HR and they accommodated right away. 1.3210 0.06765 81 61 14 6
1999 This way it makes my neck look longer. 1.3210 0.06292 81 59 18 4
2000 I'm honoring Ruth Bader Ginsburg. 1.3210 0.06533 81 60 16 5
2001 I’m a Republican. I have no cone of shame. 1.3210 0.06989 81 62 12 7
2002 That was some party last night, huh? 1.3210 0.06533 81 60 16 5
2003 Undogmatic 1.3210 0.06533 81 60 16 5
2004 It's how they're wearing them in Paris. 1.3205 0.06187 78 56 19 3
2005 My human won't wear a mask either 1.3205 0.07183 78 60 11 7
2006 That's your problem-you're too focused on what's in front of you. 1.3205 0.07411 78 61 9 8
2007 I'm an obedience school dropout. 1.3205 0.05911 78 55 21 2
2008 I figured if I gotta wear this thing a long time I'm better off going aerodynamic. 1.3205 0.06947 78 59 13 6
2009 I still can’t reach it 1.3205 0.06703 78 58 15 5
2010 Nah... I just picked this up off a lamp in the bedroom. 1.3205 0.06947 78 59 13 6
2011 I’m living in a convent now. 1.3205 0.06703 78 58 15 5
2012 All the cool kids wear their caps backwards. 1.3205 0.06450 78 57 17 4
2013 My master is a priest. What the heck does yours do? 1.3205 0.06947 78 59 13 6
2014 That's how fast I can run. 1.3205 0.07183 78 60 11 7
2015 Shoulder wound. How about you? 1.3205 0.06703 78 58 15 5
2016 Wear it like you cone it! 1.3205 0.05911 78 55 21 2
2017 I’m the placebo dog. 1.3205 0.06450 78 57 17 4
2018 Oh, I don't know...it gives you a certain je ne c'est quoi. 1.3205 0.07183 78 60 11 7
2019 Yeah, I know, but my master's an aeronautical engineer. 1.3205 0.06450 78 57 17 4
2020 Dyslexic owners. You should see my leash. 1.3205 0.06703 78 58 15 5
2021 Which order do you belong to? 1.3205 0.06450 78 57 17 4
2022 Most dogs are less than. I am greater than. 1.3205 0.06450 78 57 17 4
2023 Yeah, but this way is much safer when you stick your head out the car window! 1.3205 0.05911 78 55 21 2
2024 Wait, what? 1.3205 0.05911 78 60 13 5
2025 I honestly feel faster 1.3205 0.06450 78 57 17 4
2026 Barked up the wrong tree?” “It was a lamp 1.3205 0.06450 78 57 17 4
2027 Yes, my master voted for Trump, why do you ask? 1.3200 0.07143 75 57 12 6
2028 I asked for sun. I see you asked for shade. 1.3200 0.05745 75 52 22 1
2029 Well, yes I am trans. How'd you know? 1.3200 0.06886 75 56 14 5
2030 Yours is an inny, mine is an outie. 1.3200 0.07143 75 57 12 6
2031 Chick’s dig it. 1.3200 0.07143 75 57 12 6
2032 I have had it with social distancing. 1.3200 0.07143 75 57 12 6
2033 Just don't look up if it starts to rain. 1.3200 0.06010 100 75 18 7
2034 So I told them, "Mange has a 99.97% survival rate! It's a free country; I can wear the cone however I damn please!" 1.3200 0.06620 75 55 16 4
2035 It's a retro look. 1.3200 0.06342 75 54 18 3
2036 “I’m going to have a neck like a giraffe, but toilet water has never tasted sweeter!" 1.3200 0.07143 75 57 12 6
2037 I see you're more of an introvert. Not me! I'm 100% extrovert 1.3200 0.06620 75 55 16 4
2038 You are doing it for the vet. I am doing it for myself. 1.3200 0.06342 75 54 18 3
2039 It's droolproof and aerodynamic. 1.3196 0.06311 97 74 15 8
2040 It's made by Tesla. 1.3196 0.06139 97 73 17 7
2041 This way, you can still reach ‘em. 1.3196 0.05961 97 72 19 6
2042 Don't laugh, my vet is dyslexic! 1.3196 0.05961 97 72 19 6
2043 Fortunately,my owner doesn’t follow directions! 1.3196 0.05778 97 71 21 5
2044 What’d you do? 1.3196 0.06139 97 73 17 7
2045 Doggy door 1.3194 0.06802 72 53 15 4
2046 It still covers my ears but I can see better. 1.3194 0.06802 72 53 15 4
2047 My owner doesn’t know whether I’m coming or going: 1.3194 0.06200 72 51 19 2
2048 It doesn't make a huge practical difference, but it looks a lot more dignified. 1.3194 0.06802 72 53 15 4
2049 I can still lick your balls... 1.3194 0.07355 72 55 11 6
2050 It's changed my entire perspective on the world. 1.3191 0.05498 94 67 24 3
2051 My owner finds directions difficult. 1.3191 0.06090 94 70 18 6
2052 Breast reduction. You? 1.3191 0.06455 94 72 14 8
2053 I still can't lick anything, but at least it lets me get a good sniff. 1.3191 0.06090 94 70 18 6
2054 I was drunk last night. What is your excuse? 1.3191 0.05899 94 69 20 5
2055 Do your research, Phil. Several YouTube videos suggest the ‘inverse cone’ provides superior protection. 1.3191 0.05899 94 69 20 5
2056 My vet wasn't cum laud . 1.3188 0.07297 69 52 12 5
2057 That was some party! 1.3187 0.05822 91 66 21 4
2058 You gotta learn to think outside the cone. 1.3187 0.06420 91 69 15 7
2059 No operation,this is my clerical collar 1.3187 0.05822 91 66 21 4
2060 I find it’s more aerodynamic. 1.3187 0.05608 91 65 23 3
2061 Does my cone make me look fat? 1.3187 0.06227 91 68 17 6
2062 Go ahead. I'm listening. 1.3187 0.06420 91 69 15 7
2063 The chafing on the front legs is excruciating, but the ladies love the look. 1.3187 0.06608 91 70 13 8
2064 Facemasks are so 2020 1.3187 0.05822 91 66 21 4
2065 It doesn't infringe on my rights when I wear it this way. 1.3187 0.05822 91 66 21 4
2066 Hey! You don’t have to bark so loud! 1.3187 0.06227 91 68 17 6
2067 ...and a way lower drag coefficient... 1.3187 0.06227 91 68 17 6
2068 ... what if we put our heads together? 1.3187 0.05386 91 64 25 2
2069 Look I’m a rocket 1.3187 0.06420 91 69 15 7
2070 The humans wear one too, but it goes over their nose. They look so much sillier. 1.3187 0.06967 91 72 9 10
2071 My human is an anti-masker. 1.3182 0.06373 88 66 16 6
2072 I made sure that she had a couple of glasses of wine before putting it on me. 1.3182 0.05949 88 64 20 4
2073 It's a matter of form over function 1.3182 0.06373 88 66 16 6
2074 I could scratch your nose if you would scratch my back. 1.3182 0.05949 88 64 20 4
2075 Sure, it's more comfortable. But when I try to rollover, I roll in circles. 1.3182 0.06373 88 66 16 6
2076 Just pop your head out the window while on the freeway...problem solved! 1.3182 0.06373 88 66 16 6
2077 Wait till you see what I can do with a leash! 1.3182 0.05949 88 64 20 4
2078 Yeah, but it's a lot more aerodynamic. 1.3182 0.06574 88 67 14 7
2079 I once ate through the bottom of my dish, too. 1.3182 0.06882 66 48 15 3
2080 We just got back from Paris. 1.3182 0.06882 66 48 15 3
2081 What do you mean my mask is on wrong! 1.3182 0.06770 88 68 12 8
2082 I'm woke now! 1.3182 0.05949 88 64 20 4
2083 Oh dude,this is so much easier,especially hanging out the window on a ride 1.3182 0.06373 88 66 16 6
2084 Do you think it goes the other way south of the equator? 1.3182 0.06373 88 66 16 6
2085 I’m going as Elizabeth I 1.3182 0.06770 88 68 12 8
2086 How do you wear your mask? 1.3182 0.06770 88 68 12 8
2087 Faster, Sleeker, Trend Setter 1.3182 0.06164 88 65 18 5
2088 You've got an itch that only I can scratch. 1.3178 0.05727 107 80 20 7
2089 You complete me. 1.3176 0.06528 85 64 15 6
2090 Let me guess, Jewish owner? 1.3176 0.06083 85 62 19 4
2091 One of us has it on backwards. 1.3176 0.06083 85 62 19 4
2092 It was easy. Just run into the wind and voila! 1.3176 0.06739 85 65 13 7
2093 We were made for each other. 1.3176 0.06083 85 62 19 4
2094 I got mine from the Handmaid’s tale. 1.3176 0.06083 85 62 19 4
2095 Your owners are idiots. 1.3176 0.06528 85 64 15 6
2096 You wonder how... See that hole in fence. Run at it full steam. 1.3176 0.06528 85 64 15 6
2097 Would you believe that’s not the first Flying Nun bit I’ve heard this week? 1.3176 0.06309 85 63 17 5
2098 No, really. It's a whole new perspective, it changed my life! 1.3176 0.06083 85 62 19 4
2099 I love outies. 1.3176 0.06083 85 62 19 4
2100 The government can’t take away my freedom!! It’s my right to wear my cone anyway I want. 1.3176 0.06944 85 66 11 8
2101 It shaved precious seconds off my walk. 1.3176 0.06528 85 64 15 6
2102 Sure, you get better reception, but I can still scratch my ears. 1.3176 0.06528 85 64 15 6
2103 Bummer Dude. 1.3176 0.05849 85 61 21 3
2104 Let me guess, your humans an anti-masker. 1.3176 0.06309 85 63 17 5
2105 You must be European. 1.3176 0.05849 85 61 21 3
2106 I still can't lick my junk but my peripheral vision is great. 1.3175 0.07781 63 48 10 5
2107 I know - you don't want to see where they put the muzzle. 1.3175 0.07093 63 46 14 3
2108 You’re living in an echo chamber, man. 1.3175 0.06722 63 45 16 2
2109 And in exchange, I poop where they prefer. 1.3173 0.05511 104 76 23 5
2110 Talking about a perfect fit, I thing we were definitely meant for each other. 1.3173 0.05840 104 78 19 7
2111 Love the lampshade look! 1.3173 0.05511 104 76 23 5
2112 Blindly obedient to the veterinary elite, I see. 1.3171 0.06693 82 62 14 6
2113 If you invert the cone of shame, it becomes the cone of glory. 1.3171 0.06693 82 62 14 6
2114 Ok forget it. Let's start from scratch. 1.3171 0.06227 82 60 18 4
2115 I had a colonoscopy: Why do you ask? 1.3171 0.06227 82 60 18 4
2116 I think you scratching my back if I lick your testicles is a little one-sided. 1.3171 0.06227 82 60 18 4
2117 Why are you shouting at me. 1.3171 0.06464 82 61 16 5
2118 Before he became a Vet used to be a pastor. It's hard for him to break old habits. 1.3171 0.05981 82 59 20 3
2119 Doug, I have reached enlightenment. 1.3171 0.06693 82 62 14 6
2120 We can't go on like this with such radically different perspectives. 1.3171 0.06227 82 60 18 4
2121 Mom likes me best. 1.3171 0.06227 82 60 18 4
2122 Mine was a reversal. 1.3171 0.06693 82 62 14 6
2123 My people get everything ass-backwards. 1.3171 0.06227 82 60 18 4
2124 I'll give you my Vet's name and number. 1.3171 0.06464 82 61 16 5
2125 Oh, yeah. You can learn just about anything on YouTube. 1.3171 0.06693 82 62 14 6
2126 Go ahead, Karen. Bite me. 1.3171 0.05981 82 59 20 3
2127 Either way, we're screwed. 1.3168 0.05617 101 74 22 5
2128 It really cuts down on the wind resistance... 1.3165 0.06871 79 60 13 6
2129 It's all the rage with French Bulldogs. 1.3165 0.06121 79 57 19 3
2130 My bark doesn't need attenuation 1.3165 0.06381 79 58 17 4
2131 No. They take me to a cartoonist. 1.3165 0.06871 79 60 13 6
2132 Don't worry about it. I'm vaccinated. 1.3165 0.06630 79 59 15 5
2133 Mine's more fashion than function. 1.3165 0.06381 79 58 17 4
2134 I find the reception much better this way. 1.3165 0.06381 79 58 17 4
2135 Let's play 'you 'scratch my back and I'll scratch yours'. 1.3165 0.06381 79 58 17 4
2136 I just stuck my head out the window on the highway 1.3165 0.04782 79 60 16 3
2137 They call it a collar, but I call it a ruff. 1.3165 0.06381 79 58 17 4
2138 And then the plastic surgeon asked do you want an innie or an outie. 1.3165 0.06121 79 57 19 3
2139 I was looking out the screen door into the back yard and then, SQUIRREL! 1.3165 0.06630 79 59 15 5
2140 I joined the clergy. 1.3165 0.06630 79 59 15 5
2141 See I told you. Business in the front, party in the back. 1.3165 0.06381 79 58 17 4
2142 My therapist is trying reverse psychology on me. 1.3165 0.06381 79 58 17 4
2143 My human isn't the brightest lamp in the room. 1.3163 0.05909 98 73 19 6
2144 The mirror confused me. 1.3163 0.06583 98 77 11 10
2145 Your place or mine? 1.3163 0.06085 98 74 17 7
2146 Actually it's a clerical collar. 1.3163 0.05909 98 73 19 6
2147 See? It's totally reversible. 1.3163 0.05909 98 73 19 6
2148 What are you in for? 1.3162 0.05100 117 85 27 5
2149 It's a Dog's Wife or Lampshades of Grey. 1.3158 0.07061 76 58 12 6
2150 Ears docked, hmmm. Me? Spade. 1.3158 0.05847 95 70 20 5
2151 How about that windstorm last night?" 1.3158 0.06546 76 56 16 4
2152 So you're saying, everyone just assumes I'm an asshole because my collar is turned up? 1.3158 0.05847 95 70 20 5
2153 It just seems more slimming this way. 1.3158 0.05986 76 54 20 2
2154 Do you think this makes me look thinner? 1.3158 0.06272 76 55 18 3
2155 This way is much better. The barking was driving me crazy. 1.3158 0.06272 76 55 18 3
2156 I got my head stuck in a lampshade... What's your excuse? 1.3158 0.07061 76 58 12 6
2157 Someone hasn’t been watching Queer Eye! 1.3158 0.06035 95 71 18 6
2158 After my recovery, I entered the clergy. 1.3158 0.06035 95 71 18 6
2159 I think my owner is collar blind. 1.3158 0.06546 76 56 16 4
2160 Lamp shade. 1.3158 0.07061 76 58 12 6
2161 Now there's no echo. echo. echo. 1.3158 0.06218 95 72 16 7
2162 We never read the directions. 1.3158 0.06546 76 56 16 4
2163 Now their harsh words just roll off my back! 1.3158 0.05685 76 53 22 1
2164 Have you always been an introvert? 1.3158 0.05685 76 55 19 2
2165 I know but this is their idea of getting us to isolate. 1.3158 0.06546 76 56 16 4
2166 No, you’re wearing it wrong, it goes over your nose. 1.3158 0.06808 76 57 14 5
2167 It’s a variant. 1.3158 0.05986 76 54 20 2
2168 Say again? 1.3158 0.06808 76 57 14 5
2169 How many bars do you get? 1.3152 0.06169 92 69 17 6
2170 It's the difference between being a fashion follower and a fashion influencer. 1.3152 0.06359 92 70 15 7
2171 So it's true....opposites attract. 1.3152 0.06169 92 69 17 6
2172 I didn’t have surgery. I just like the Puritan aesthetic. 1.3152 0.06169 92 69 17 6
2173 I still can't lick what I want to lick 1.3152 0.05972 92 68 19 5
2174 This should explain why my owners had so many kids. 1.3152 0.06359 92 70 15 7
2175 Nope! Not gonna do it. 1.3152 0.06169 92 69 17 6
2176 You just have to run really, really fast! 1.3152 0.06359 92 70 15 7
2177 It's really streamlined,I can run like the wind! 1.3152 0.05664 92 69 18 5
2178 There’s a fine line between the cone of shame and the cone of distinction. 1.3152 0.05972 92 68 19 5
2179 I think my owner has a learning disability? 1.3152 0.05558 92 66 23 3
2180 Why? What exactly were you supposed to stop licking? 1.3152 0.06169 92 69 17 6
2181 Smell a butt and then tell me, it’s not better this way 1.3152 0.06359 92 70 15 7
2182 No, YOU'RE wearing it all wrong. 1.3151 0.06433 73 53 17 3
2183 I know it’s on backwards, my human is dyslexic. 1.3151 0.07000 73 55 13 5
2184 I'm on probation. 1.3151 0.06433 73 53 17 3
2185 I didn’t know neutering could be reversed either! 1.3151 0.06433 73 53 17 3
2186 What do ya mean speak I'm talking too loud? I can barely hear YOU. 1.3151 0.06723 73 54 15 4
2187 Did I tell you I joined a fraternity in boarding school? 1.3151 0.06433 73 53 17 3
2188 I just can’t breath with it over my nose like that. 1.3151 0.07000 73 55 13 5
2189 All the purebreds are doing it 1.3151 0.07000 73 55 13 5
2190 Works for me. 1.3151 0.06130 73 52 19 2
2191 Who are you to judge? 1.3151 0.06723 73 54 15 4
2192 I like a more streamlined humiliation... 1.3151 0.06433 73 53 17 3
2193 Yes, I hear you loud and clear." 1.3151 0.07000 73 55 13 5
2194 this is ironic, really, considering I’m the introvert and you’re the extrovert 1.3151 0.06433 73 53 17 3
2195 I still can't lick anything important, but it's aerodynamic. 1.3151 0.06723 73 54 15 4
2196 I just got tired of the echo chamber. 1.3151 0.07000 73 55 13 5
2197 And now when the mail comes I go KRAB KRAB KRAB KRAB! 1.3151 0.06723 73 54 15 4
2198 I’ve learned so much on TikTok. 1.3148 0.05681 108 81 20 7
2199 No, really, on you it works. 1.3146 0.05892 89 65 20 4
2200 The vet said it was nothing to be ashamed of. 1.3146 0.06311 89 67 16 6
2201 Why do you always get everything backwards? 1.3146 0.06105 89 66 18 5
2202 You should have asked for the reversible model 1.3146 0.05892 89 65 20 4
2203 Humiliating either way, really. 1.3146 0.07074 89 71 8 10
2204 What can I say, it was a hell of a party 1.3146 0.06311 89 67 16 6
2205 Is your master one of those who wears his mask on his chin? 1.3146 0.06311 89 67 16 6
2206 This way I can still go through the doggy door. 1.3146 0.06311 89 67 16 6
2207 Let me fix your collar... 1.3146 0.06311 89 67 16 6
2208 This reduces drag and increases my average speed by two miles per hour. 1.3146 0.05892 89 65 20 4
2209 I’m torn between believing that they’re either modern trusting parents, or plain dumb” 1.3146 0.06311 89 67 16 6
2210 ... and because she's dyslexic. 1.3143 0.06607 70 51 16 3
2211 They call it the cone of self-actualization! 1.3143 0.06914 70 52 14 4
2212 Say 5 "hail mary's" and don't try to lick your butt. 1.3143 0.06914 70 52 14 4
2213 I talked them into making me look like a pilgrim. 1.3143 0.06119 70 52 15 3
2214 Cone of shame? Or cone of FAME? 1.3143 0.06607 70 51 16 3
2215 Windstorm. 1.3143 0.06914 70 52 14 4
2216 You say Handmaid's Tale. I say Flying Nun. 1.3143 0.05631 105 78 21 6
2217 Oh,those high collars went out decades ago! 1.3143 0.06914 70 52 14 4
2218 It’s all about knowing how to accessorize. 1.3143 0.06607 70 51 16 3
2219 It’s nothing to be ashamed of, but you’re wearing it backwards. 1.3143 0.06607 70 51 16 3
2220 Surgery? No, the kennel party got a little out of hand. 1.3140 0.06024 86 63 19 4
2221 That was some party last night. 1.3140 0.05792 86 62 21 3
2222 It feels better this way; you can still see where you're going. 1.3140 0.05792 86 62 21 3
2223 ...but your bark must be epic! 1.3140 0.06247 86 64 17 5
2224 But if your priority is aerodynamics... 1.3140 0.06024 86 63 19 4
2225 I'd explain the geometry, but it would kill the fun. 1.3140 0.06462 86 65 15 6
2226 I'm telling you! It will have THEM in stitches. 1.3140 0.06024 86 63 19 4
2227 So you're still going to that vet in Gilead? 1.3140 0.06024 86 63 19 4
2228 I know. But it tested better in a wind tunnel. 1.3140 0.06024 86 63 19 4
2229 You just wait until the car is on the freeway, and pop your head out the window. 1.3140 0.06670 86 66 13 7
2230 What can I say, I’m the life of the party. 1.3140 0.06462 86 65 15 6
2231 They were gale force winds. 1.3140 0.05551 86 61 23 2
2232 I'm from France 1.3140 0.06462 86 65 15 6
2233 I’m telling you Rex, I’ve really turned things around! 1.3140 0.06024 86 63 19 4
2234 Well it's just not how i interpret Margaret Atwood. 1.3140 0.06670 86 66 13 7
2235 It’s a TikTok thing. 1.3140 0.05909 86 65 16 5
2236 I've always been a fashion rebel. 1.3137 0.05393 102 74 24 4
2237 It’s simple, you’re an innie and I’m an outie 1.3137 0.06228 102 79 14 9
2238 My vet is very progressive. 1.3137 0.05393 102 74 24 4
2239 I've done my own internet research on the subject. 1.3137 0.05908 102 77 18 7
2240 Seriously. You watch. They are going to ruin this Kodak moment with a caption. 1.3134 0.06627 67 51 12 4
2241 My owner got this model at Ikea. 1.3134 0.07431 67 51 11 5
2242 Well, yes, I do remember the Coneheads from Saturday Night Live! 1.3133 0.06164 83 61 18 4
2243 It's all about changing your perspective. 1.3133 0.05920 83 60 20 3
2244 I don’t know about you but I fell for: “Let’s go get a cone.” 1.3133 0.06841 83 64 12 7
2245 Fashion Week is my life. 1.3133 0.05667 83 59 22 2
2246 Sooo... you're a female. 1.3133 0.06841 83 64 12 7
2247 Try reversing your cone, it could give you a new leash on life. 1.3133 0.06164 83 61 18 4
2248 My owner doesn't know sh_t. 1.3133 0.06623 83 63 14 6
2249 We can still Copulate, but Necking might be hard. 1.3133 0.06623 83 63 14 6
2250 What did you say? 1.3133 0.06623 83 63 14 6
2251 What can I say? My human's an anti-masker through and through. 1.3133 0.06841 83 64 12 7
2252 I guess your owner doesn't know too much about aerodynamics. That must be a real drag. 1.3133 0.06623 83 63 14 6
2253 I've been accused of backbiting. 1.3133 0.06164 83 61 18 4
2254 Well, you know ... in honor of RBG. 1.3133 0.06397 83 62 16 5
2255 I prefer the ecumenical version." 1.3133 0.06623 83 63 14 6
2256 They said to wear a collar, they didn’t say it had to cover your nose and mouth. 1.3133 0.06841 83 64 12 7
2257 Easy. You just face into the wind. 1.3133 0.06397 83 62 16 5
2258 So what do you think of my RBG collar? 1.3133 0.06623 83 63 14 6
2259 Mine's an idiot too, but a useful idiot. 1.3133 0.06397 83 62 16 5
2260 I don’t think either of us is wearing this Covid mask properly. 1.3133 0.06164 83 61 18 4
2261 Trust me, it makes you more aero-dognamic 1.3133 0.06397 83 62 16 5
2262 Trust me. Once you've seen what they've done, you'll want to keep wearing it too. 1.3133 0.06164 83 61 18 4
2263 I'm trying something new. Think they'll notice? 1.3133 0.06397 83 62 16 5
2264 The aerodynamics are much better this way. I’ve caught three squirrels so far. 1.3133 0.06397 83 62 16 5
2265 I don't think 'you scratch my back, I lick your testicles', is the expression. 1.3131 0.06200 99 76 15 8
2266 My vet believes in freedom not restriction. 1.3131 0.06031 99 75 17 7
2267 It's the cone of no shame — I'll sniff literally anything. 1.3131 0.05679 99 73 21 5
2268 Yeah, well I'll take my peripheral vision freedoms over the one percent chance that I'll remove my own stitches, any day. 1.3131 0.05858 99 74 19 6
2269 To the vet? No, my owner took me to IKEA! 1.3131 0.05495 99 72 23 4
2270 It's the latest style. All the French Poodles love it. 1.3125 0.06057 80 60 16 4
2271 I put it on myself. 1.3125 0.05602 96 70 22 4
2272 My human isn't great with gadgets. 1.3125 0.06337 96 74 14 8
2273 With this aerodynamic design I’ve cut seconds off chasing my tail 1.3125 0.06313 80 59 17 4
2274 Tell her to take you for a walk. Right now. It's windy. 1.3125 0.06313 80 59 17 4
2275 Riding home I stuck my head out the window once too often. 1.3125 0.06796 80 61 13 6
2276 Somebody didn't read the instructions. 1.3125 0.06559 80 60 15 5
2277 You should switch to my vet. He's afraid of growling. 1.3125 0.06337 96 74 14 8
2278 It's a rental. 1.3125 0.07025 80 62 11 7
2279 My therapist encouraged me to flip the problem. 1.3125 0.06796 80 61 13 6
2280 The trick is to get a really fast running start. 1.3125 0.05790 80 57 21 2
2281 You got a lampshade stuck on your head too? 1.3125 0.07247 80 63 9 8
2282 Want to change your world view? Flip the collar! 1.3125 0.05510 80 56 23 1
2283 Well, my vet upgraded my social status. Now I'm a white collar dog. 1.3125 0.06313 80 59 17 4
2284 Seriously, when you're hanging out the car window ... way better! 1.3125 0.07675 64 49 10 5
2285 You just have to look at it from the other side. 1.3125 0.05981 96 72 18 6
2286 I decided to get a second opinion. 1.3125 0.06796 80 61 13 6
2287 I had my vasectomy reversed. 1.3125 0.06313 80 59 17 4
2288 Once you heal up, you can wear it like this! 1.3125 0.06635 64 46 16 2
2289 He always does things a little backwards. 1.3125 0.06057 80 58 19 3
2290 I can still lick my butt but can’t scratch my ears. I consider it a good trade off 1.3125 0.05510 80 56 23 1
2291 You're wearing your lampshade backwards! 1.3125 0.06313 80 59 17 4
2292 I asked for something more slimming 1.3125 0.06559 80 60 15 5
2293 Dawg! You're wearing it backwards. It's supposed to be like a cape. 1.3125 0.06313 80 59 17 4
2294 Regardless, we’re both screwed” 1.3125 0.06559 80 60 15 5
2295 It’s all about empowerment 1.3125 0.06057 80 58 19 3
2296 Oh, come on. Live a little! 1.3125 0.06559 80 60 15 5
2297 I’ve gone casual since I’m 100% work from home. 1.3125 0.07462 80 64 7 9
2298 This is for good behavior 1.3125 0.05602 96 70 22 4
2299 I like the wind blown effect. 1.3125 0.05790 80 57 21 2
2300 Yes, the directions manual is from IKEA. 1.3125 0.05602 96 70 22 4
2301 If you think this is wrong, you should see how my human wears their mask. 1.3125 0.06796 80 61 13 6
2302 I see you have an outie! 1.3119 0.05636 109 82 20 7
2303 So good to be owned by a clueless klutz. 1.3118 0.06111 93 70 17 6
2304 yea i'm with first time dog owner 1.3118 0.05917 93 69 19 5
2305 This is how it's worn in Europe. 1.3118 0.05716 93 68 21 4
2306 Once my therapist helped me work through the shame everything turned around for me. 1.3118 0.06111 93 70 17 6
2307 This is actually a Lagerfeld collar. 1.3118 0.06300 93 71 15 7
2308 This is how the very good boys wear them. 1.3118 0.05917 93 69 19 5
2309 Seriously, don't even think about sticking your head out the car window like that. 1.3118 0.06300 93 71 15 7
2310 I studied physics Carl, an inverted cone is aerodynamically suited for ball chasing 1.3118 0.05917 93 69 19 5
2311 Mine cuts down on the wind drag. 1.3117 0.06203 77 56 18 3
2312 No, but I can lick YOUR nuts if you'd like? 1.3117 0.06981 77 59 12 6
2313 I recommend a good headwind. 1.3117 0.06473 77 57 16 4
2314 Just tell your owner it's backwards day! 1.3117 0.05921 77 55 20 2
2315 i don,t know whether i,m comming or going. 1.3117 0.06203 77 56 18 3
2316 I can hear you. There’s no need to shout. 1.3117 0.06473 77 57 16 4
2317 It all depends on whether you're an introvert or an extrovert. 1.3117 0.06203 77 56 18 3
2318 My ancestors came over on the Mayflower. 1.3117 0.06473 77 57 16 4
2319 It doesn't work as well but it looks better" 1.3117 0.06203 77 56 18 3
2320 Works just as well,except now I can run faster! 1.3117 0.06203 77 56 18 3
2321 I told them I had asthma. 1.3117 0.06981 77 59 12 6
2322 My cousin says this is the style in Europe. 1.3117 0.05921 77 55 20 2
2323 Are you a priest? 1.3117 0.06203 77 56 18 3
2324 Cone heads. 1.3117 0.06203 77 56 18 3
2325 You should try it, you'll see better 1.3117 0.06473 77 57 16 4
2326 I don’t think you’re doing that right 1.3117 0.05626 77 54 22 1
2327 You get better reception if you wear it this way! 1.3117 0.06203 77 56 18 3
2328 I think it makes me look thinner this way. 1.3117 0.06473 77 57 16 4
2329 Hey, rookie! How ya gonna get out the damn doggie door? 1.3111 0.06047 90 67 18 5
2330 Just run real fast through your doggie door. 1.3111 0.06250 90 68 16 6
2331 We’re fraternal, not identical. 1.3111 0.05837 90 66 20 4
2332 My vet believes in alternative therapy. 1.3111 0.06250 90 68 16 6
2333 One of us has it on wrong. 1.3111 0.06250 90 68 16 6
2334 Is my vet ADD or Dyslectic 1.3111 0.06047 90 67 18 5
2335 yes! It is reversible. 1.3111 0.06047 90 67 18 5
2336 Yeah, this makes it less of a shame and more of a fashion statement. 1.3111 0.05619 90 65 22 3
2337 You know that opposites attract,right? 1.3111 0.05837 90 66 20 4
2338 I don’t know, my vet came highly recommended. 1.3111 0.05837 90 66 20 4
2339 ‘Just because we disagree doesn’t mean we can’t still be friends.’ 1.3111 0.06250 90 68 16 6
2340 It makes us more stackable. 1.3111 0.06047 90 67 18 5
2341 The cat said, "Go out the pet door. You'll fit." 1.3108 0.06918 74 56 13 5
2342 Your’s keeps you out of the doghouse. Mine gets me in. 1.3108 0.06918 74 56 13 5
2343 So I told my man: “flip it around or I won’t be your best friend anymore. 1.3108 0.06645 74 55 15 4
2344 I was tired of mine too, until I discovered it was reversible. 1.3108 0.07180 74 57 11 6
2345 I thought they said it was reversible 1.3108 0.06918 74 56 13 5
2346 It’s the sport model- not as practical but way more fun. 1.3108 0.06645 74 55 15 4
2347 ...so I can’t lick it anymore! 1.3108 0.06360 74 54 17 3
2348 Yes, actually, I can lick it. But what are you going to do for me? 1.3107 0.05349 103 75 24 4
2349 It looks better this way on Zoom 1.3107 0.05694 103 77 20 6
2350 I thought the lamp was a squirrel. 1.3103 0.06185 87 65 17 5
2351 I'm entering the priesthood. 1.3103 0.05965 87 64 19 4
2352 I just thought ‘might as well make it the car ride of my life, aerodynamics-wise’. I mean, I may be short two tennis balls but I feel sleek as heck. 1.3103 0.06185 87 65 17 5
2353 I think I've proven which of us is the smarter breed. 1.3103 0.06802 87 68 11 8
2354 Yes, I do belong to Pilgrims. 1.3103 0.05736 87 63 21 3
2355 Good news, it's reversible. 1.3103 0.06996 87 69 9 9
2356 The vet. said there would be less drag when I run. 1.3103 0.06185 87 65 17 5
2357 You're Catholic, I'm Episcopalian. 1.3103 0.06603 87 67 13 7
2358 I got my peripheral vision back! 1.3103 0.05965 87 64 19 4
2359 No, I could write YOU a sonnet about your Easter bonnet. 1.3103 0.05736 87 63 21 3
2360 I have these contrary impulses from time to time. 1.3103 0.06397 87 66 15 6
2361 I asked if she had anything in the designer section. 1.3103 0.05736 87 63 21 3
2362 Don't be embarrassed. I'd be happy to lick that for you. 1.3103 0.05965 87 64 19 4
2363 I see you’re an outie! 1.3103 0.06603 87 67 13 7
2364 No really, I think you're pulling it off. 1.3103 0.06397 87 66 15 6
2365 Who's to say which is better? Some just are innies and some just are outies. 1.3103 0.05965 87 64 19 4
2366 Shocking, right? 1.3103 0.05965 87 64 19 4
2367 This is America and I have rights. 1.3103 0.06397 87 66 15 6
2368 Catholic. You? 1.3103 0.06185 87 65 17 5
2369 You have an outie. I have an innie. . 1.3103 0.05965 87 64 19 4
2370 I’m woke. 1.3103 0.05736 87 63 21 3
2371 My human is into alternative medicine 1.3103 0.05736 87 63 21 3
2372 Sister Carmella! Always the rebel. 1.3103 0.06185 87 65 17 5
2373 Is that what you’re wearing to the Vet Gala? 1.3100 0.06146 100 77 15 8
2374 Trust me, it's all over Tik Tok. 1.3100 0.05808 100 75 19 6
2375 I told them "this makes me look thinner". 1.3100 0.05808 100 75 19 6
2376 This is how the cool dogs wear them. 1.3100 0.05449 100 73 23 4
2377 Who's your stylist? 1.3100 0.05979 100 76 17 7
2378 I’ll scratch you if you’ll scratch me? Waddysay? 1.3100 0.05449 100 73 23 4
2379 How long are you in for? 1.3099 0.06529 71 52 16 3
2380 Yeah, I can't get decent reception either. 1.3099 0.06529 71 52 16 3
2381 Am I ashamed to be wearing a cone? What are you talking about? 1.3099 0.07118 71 54 12 5
2382 Mines just a lampshade from the party, whats yours for? 1.3099 0.06213 71 54 14 3
2383 Could I get you to scratch my ear, please? 1.3099 0.06213 71 51 18 2
2384 With the reduced drag coefficient, I can retrieve much faster. Plus, I can still lick myself. Win-win. 1.3095 0.06554 84 64 14 6
2385 My owner's a sailor. My owner's a priest. 1.3095 0.06554 84 64 14 6
2386 An open car window 1.3095 0.06770 84 65 12 7
2387 It's kind of an Elizabethan vs. Pilgrim thing. 1.3095 0.06101 84 62 18 4
2388 You thank that's bad? I just bombed an audition for the new RCA ad. 1.3095 0.06554 84 64 14 6
2389 My new owner is an interior decorator. Appearance is everything. 1.3095 0.05861 84 61 20 3
2390 I left the house in a hurry this morning. 1.3095 0.05611 84 60 22 2
2391 Luckily, my owner’s dyslexic. 1.3095 0.06978 84 66 10 8
2392 My name is Yin, what's yours? 1.3095 0.06770 84 65 12 7
2393 I said, 'fine, I'll wear it. But only as an accessory.' 1.3095 0.06332 84 63 16 5
2394 You should see the way he wears his mask! 1.3095 0.06332 84 63 16 5
2395 They put it on wrong, now I can lick wherever you need! 1.3095 0.06770 84 65 12 7
2396 I told my owner it’s how all the dogs are wearing it 1.3095 0.05861 84 61 20 3
2397 I find that this way it has less echo. 1.3095 0.06332 84 63 16 5
2398 Hindsight is twenty twenty. 1.3095 0.05861 84 61 20 3
2399 When do you get your 2nd shot? 1.3095 0.06332 84 63 16 5
2400 It’s called flipping the script. 1.3095 0.06332 84 63 16 5
2401 That's why they call me the "human whisperer." 1.3095 0.06332 84 63 16 5
2402 It’s really more of a fashion statement. 1.3095 0.06978 84 66 10 8
2403 You should try, it’s called downward dog! 1.3095 0.06554 84 64 14 6
2404 Yeah,I have Medicaid. 1.3095 0.06332 84 63 16 5
2405 What about my freedoms? Nobody’s gonna tell me how to wear this thing. 1.3095 0.06101 84 62 18 4
2406 This way my dignity and peripheral vision stay intact. 1.3095 0.06332 84 63 16 5
2407 I had a change of perspective. 1.3095 0.06101 84 62 18 4
2408 ...and then, within like 5 minutes, I got 3000 new followers! 1.3095 0.06101 84 62 18 4
2409 It’s reversible, you know. 1.3093 0.06280 97 75 14 8
2410 It’s post-Elisabethan. 1.3093 0.05554 97 71 22 4
2411 Nice Ruff. 1.3093 0.06106 97 74 16 7
2412 It's fashion before function at my house. 1.3093 0.06106 97 74 16 7
2413 I see you’re still wearing the old model. 1.3093 0.05554 97 71 22 4
2414 Just run as hard as you can through the cat door! 1.3088 0.07335 68 52 11 5
2415 I thought it was perfect for my Shakespeare audition. 1.3088 0.07629 68 53 9 6
2416 So,my vet was telling me about his dyslexia... 1.3088 0.06375 68 49 17 2
2417 It's a lampshade, the cat put vodka in my water dish. 1.3088 0.07335 68 52 11 5
2418 Just put your head out of the window inside the car wash. 1.3086 0.06246 81 60 17 4
2419 Don’t worry. I may look cooler, but it’s equally hard to lick myself. 1.3086 0.05994 81 59 19 3
2420 I find that my coefficient of drag is vastly superior 1.3086 0.06246 81 60 17 4
2421 Works like yours, but is way more aerodynamic. 1.3086 0.06489 81 61 15 5
2422 ...and mine was built to be aerodynamic! 1.3086 0.06489 81 61 15 5
2423 Montessori 1.3086 0.05994 81 59 19 3
2424 It doesn't help my neck, but I can still lick my favorite parts. 1.3086 0.05994 81 59 19 3
2425 My human seemed confused about his mask, too. 1.3086 0.05731 81 58 21 2
2426 The aerodynamics are so much better. 1.3086 0.06722 81 62 13 6
2427 Don’t ask. Don’t tell. 1.3086 0.06948 81 63 11 7
2428 What vet do you use? 1.3086 0.06246 81 60 17 4
2429 Prep school, eh? 1.3086 0.05455 81 57 23 1
2430 I told the doctor I’m claustrophobic. 1.3086 0.05994 81 59 19 3
2431 I’m disrupting the cone industry. 1.3086 0.05994 81 59 19 3
2432 So my owner saw this Tik Tok... 1.3086 0.05994 81 59 19 3
2433 ‘Cone half full kind of dog?’ 1.3086 0.05731 81 58 21 2
2434 ...it’s really more about you wearing the cone and less about the cone wearing you, am I right? 1.3086 0.05994 81 59 19 3
2435 It’s so much easier for butt sniffing 1.3086 0.05994 81 59 19 3
2436 it prevents itch and reduces drag! 1.3086 0.05994 81 59 19 3
2437 This way I get the Doppler effect when a car drives by. 1.3085 0.05665 94 69 21 4
2438 I kept hearing messages from Pluto. 1.3085 0.06055 94 71 17 6
2439 He said I am too beautiful a boy to hide my face like that. 1.3085 0.05459 94 68 23 3
2440 I can bark them into anything. 1.3085 0.05863 94 70 19 5
2441 I get to chew my stitches AND make an anti-cone statement 1.3085 0.06055 94 71 17 6
2442 I guess I'm an outie and you're an inie. 1.3085 0.05863 94 70 19 5
2443 Sure it makes me look fat. But it's comfortable. 1.3085 0.05665 94 69 21 4
2444 It's European. 1.3085 0.05665 94 69 21 4
2445 Could you please lower your voice? 1.3085 0.06241 94 72 15 7
2446 It's cooler if you wear it backwards. 1.3085 0.05863 94 70 19 5
2447 Obviously, you're not on TikTok. 1.3085 0.05863 94 70 19 5
2448 We both wear the same cone, my friend. The limitations are in your mind. 1.3085 0.06055 94 71 17 6
2449 I get 17 channels. You? 1.3085 0.06241 94 72 15 7
2450 Yeah, I know. My owner started drinking again. 1.3077 0.05859 78 56 20 2
2451 I'm with the resistance. 1.3077 0.06907 65 48 14 3
2452 I see you are an extrovert. 1.3077 0.05567 78 55 22 1
2453 They say that opposites attract. 1.3077 0.05782 91 67 20 4
2454 I'm seeing life more objectively now that I'm free of the echo chamber. 1.3077 0.06903 78 60 12 6
2455 I took my vows two years ago but am still awaiting to be assigned to a Parrish. 1.3077 0.05859 78 56 20 2
2456 My human hates caving to societal norms, but this time it was just too much weed. 1.3077 0.06190 91 69 16 6
2457 I got tired of the echo chamber. 1.3077 0.06657 78 59 14 5
2458 It must have been an awesome tailwind. 1.3077 0.06657 78 59 14 5
2459 No, yours is a cone, mine is an Elizabethan neck ruff. 1.3077 0.05343 91 65 24 2
2460 I am so fast now I am almost invisible 1.3077 0.06385 91 70 14 7
2461 In fact, I did get dressed in the dark this morning. 1.3077 0.05782 91 67 20 4
2462 You know how it works.... you scratch my back and I scratch your .... 1.3077 0.06190 91 69 16 6
2463 Spayed? No, just the opposite. 1.3077 0.06657 78 59 14 5
2464 The whole world is inside out. 1.3077 0.06903 78 60 12 6
2465 It was too echoey! 1.3077 0.07247 65 49 12 4
2466 Then one day, I just said to myself - just embrace it, and make it your own. 1.3077 0.05782 91 67 20 4
2467 I'm giving this look a try. 1.3077 0.06402 78 58 16 4
2468 It's a lampshade of shame! 1.3077 0.05859 78 56 20 2
2469 I still scratch, but at least I don’t get laughed at. 1.3077 0.05990 91 68 18 5
2470 Dumb Vet didn't know if I was coming or going. 1.3077 0.06190 91 69 16 6
2471 Guess who I ran into today. 1.3077 0.06657 78 59 14 5
2472 It depends on your interpretation of the Constitution as to what 'backwards' means 1.3077 0.06657 78 59 14 5
2473 It was just the next logical step once I was ordained. 1.3077 0.06136 78 57 18 3
2474 I was able to do this by executing the Downward Facing Dog pose in my yoga class. 1.3077 0.06402 78 58 16 4
2475 Ruff, ruff . . . ruff, ruff, ruff 1.3077 0.05782 91 67 20 4
2476 On Fridays we keep it casual. 1.3077 0.06657 78 59 14 5
2477 no, you’ve got it all backwards 1.3077 0.06385 91 70 14 7
2478 It’s a drool collar! 1.3077 0.06402 78 58 16 4
2479 I’m telling you, I have a whole new perspective! 1.3077 0.06136 78 57 18 3
2480 Sorry for your loss. Mine is actually for aerodynamics. 1.3077 0.06402 78 58 16 4
2481 Prada, Doug. You look good though. 1.3077 0.05859 78 56 20 2
2482 Peripheral is everything. 1.3077 0.06402 78 58 16 4
2483 Wait... "Dog eat dog" is just a saying? 1.3069 0.05217 101 73 25 3
2484 Well, mine is less for function and more for fashion. 1.3068 0.05907 88 65 19 4
2485 This way I hear the sounds of the city, not the sound of the ocean." 1.3068 0.06124 88 66 17 5
2486 It looks like I got the trainee vet. 1.3068 0.05682 88 64 21 3
2487 Do you have any idea how ridiculous you look? 1.3068 0.05907 88 65 19 4
2488 C'mon Jake, Ya gotta think Outside the Box 1.3068 0.05907 88 65 19 4
2489 I can't hear as well, but it looks kinda cool, doesn't it? 1.3068 0.05447 88 63 23 2
2490 Say 3 here boys and 2 good dogs and you are forgiven my son. 1.3068 0.06334 88 67 15 6
2491 Nah, I'M fine, but you should see the lightbulb! 1.3068 0.05907 88 65 19 4
2492 Go stand in front of a leaf blower! 1.3068 0.06334 88 67 15 6
2493 Do you feel emasculated, too? 1.3068 0.05682 88 64 21 3
2494 It's like this, Sparky. Having a halfwit owner has its perks. 1.3068 0.05907 88 65 19 4
2495 You just lay on your side...roll into a ball...tail between your legs...grab it in your mouth...jerk really hard...and wham! 1.3068 0.06124 88 66 17 5
2496 RUSTY! We rode home from the vet WITH THE TOP DOWN! 1.3068 0.06334 88 67 15 6
2497 I graduated from seminary last week. 1.3068 0.06124 88 66 17 5
2498 would you scratch something for me? 1.3068 0.06734 88 69 11 8
2499 My Doctor's a Contraveterinarian 1.3068 0.06334 88 67 15 6
2500 That collar really ages you in dog years 1.3067 0.06569 75 56 15 4
2501 Wait till you see what I've done with my food bowl! 1.3067 0.06569 75 56 15 4
2502 Yes, my vet is dyslexic. Why do you ask? 1.3067 0.07096 75 58 11 6
2503 Really it works both ways - my owner happens to be a nun. 1.3067 0.06288 75 55 17 3
2504 Well, you know there is a right way and a wrong way. Kind of like the toilet paper over/under thing... 1.3067 0.06837 75 57 13 5
2505 So, how was your bris? 1.3067 0.06288 75 55 17 3
2506 Next time they ask you.....say "convex - not concave" 1.3067 0.06569 75 56 15 4
2507 Still using last season’s cone? 1.3067 0.06569 75 56 15 4
2508 My insurance wouldn't cover that one. 1.3067 0.05687 75 53 21 1
2509 Yeah,it was on Shark Tank. 1.3067 0.06837 75 57 13 5
2510 This way you don't have to look up at the camera to hide your double chin. 1.3067 0.06569 75 56 15 4
2511 I’d strongly recommend switching to the newer model. It’s got a much larger field of view and is biodegradable. 1.3067 0.07096 75 58 11 6
2512 Too Handmaid's Tale for my taste. 1.3067 0.06569 75 56 15 4
2513 This quarantine has made me reimagine my wardrobe. 1.3067 0.06569 75 56 15 4
2514 Coney Island was great, but it sort of gave me tunnel vision. 1.3067 0.06288 75 55 17 3
2515 Upturned collars? Oh no, those are so last season. 1.3067 0.07346 75 59 9 7
2516 So...Are you extraverted introvert or introverted extravert? 1.3067 0.06569 75 56 15 4
2517 It was crazy windy outside. 1.3067 0.07096 75 58 11 6
2518 Innie meets outie 1.3065 0.07121 62 46 13 3
2519 I bite my nails. 1.3063 0.05548 111 84 20 7
2520 It worked for Madonna. 1.3061 0.05876 98 74 18 6
2521 If you wear it this way it helps with wind resistance. 1.3061 0.05506 98 72 22 4
2522 Hi, my name's Yin. What's yours? 1.3061 0.05506 98 72 22 4
2523 Let me guess...Yang? 1.3061 0.06052 98 75 16 7
2524 I don't feel like a lightbulb 1.3059 0.05803 85 62 20 3
2525 My human is an idiot. 1.3059 0.06487 85 65 14 6
2526 Nice subwoofer. 1.3059 0.06905 85 67 10 8
2527 I consider myself an Influencer..... 1.3059 0.06268 85 64 16 5
2528 I just told him "good master." 1.3059 0.06268 85 64 16 5
2529 I told my mom all the cool dogs wear their cone backwards. 1.3059 0.05557 85 61 22 2
2530 I'm no longer shamed by the cone. 1.3059 0.06040 85 63 18 4
2531 And you believed them?! 1.3059 0.06487 85 65 14 6
2532 If we keep wear these lampshades, they will think we are alrady nuetered 1.3059 0.06268 85 64 16 5
2533 Wait till you see what I’ve done with my leash! 1.3059 0.06268 85 64 16 5
2534 I'll itch yours if you itch mine. 1.3059 0.05803 85 62 20 3
2535 I know, I know...you warned me about the cheap knockoffs. 1.3059 0.05803 85 62 20 3
2536 The collar is reversible, comes in neutral colors, and can be monogrammed. 1.3059 0.06268 85 64 16 5
2537 My human fights oppression wherever she sees it. 1.3059 0.06040 85 63 18 4
2538 Looks like we were meant for each other. 1.3059 0.06487 85 65 14 6
2539 Who cares if mine is on backwards? The question is "who wore it better?" 1.3059 0.06268 85 64 16 5
2540 My master is anti-mask, too. 1.3059 0.06487 85 65 14 6
2541 It means I got my second shot! 1.3059 0.06487 85 65 14 6
2542 It's the aerodynamics. 1.3059 0.05557 85 61 22 2
2543 I’ll scratch, and you lick 1.3059 0.05557 85 61 22 2
2544 Well, it may help with your WiFi signal, but you look ridiculous. 1.3059 0.06487 85 65 14 6
2545 It’s roomier, but the acoustics aren’t nearly as good. 1.3059 0.06040 85 63 18 4
2546 The echo is gone! 1.3056 0.05814 72 51 20 1
2547 No, I'm from the nunnery. 1.3056 0.06748 72 54 14 4
2548 Stitches are fake news. 1.3056 0.06748 72 54 14 4
2549 It's given me a whole new perspective! 1.3056 0.06141 72 52 18 2
2550 I am only wearing it because I have to... I don't think they even work. 1.3056 0.06748 72 54 14 4
2551 It happened when I stuck my head out the window when my owner was going 90 MPH. It DOES make drinking water much easier... 1.3056 0.06452 72 53 16 3
2552 i’m a dominican, you must be a jesuit 1.3056 0.06748 72 54 14 4
2553 My vet has a concierge practice. 1.3056 0.06452 72 53 16 3
2554 You be the nun and I'll be the priest. 1.3056 0.07032 72 55 12 5
2555 White dog privilege 1.3056 0.05652 108 82 19 7
2556 Now, we shall kiss. 1.3056 0.05814 72 51 20 1
2557 You wouldn't get it - it's an inside joke. 1.3056 0.06748 72 54 14 4
2558 i find it slimming 1.3053 0.05411 95 69 23 3
2559 I'll lick your paws if you'll lick my butt. 1.3053 0.06000 95 72 17 6
2560 How did you know I was just out for a ride in the car? 1.3053 0.05200 95 68 25 2
2561 I still can't lick my stitches off, but now I feel like superdog. 1.3053 0.06184 95 73 15 7
2562 One word. Aerodynamics. 1.3053 0.05200 95 68 25 2
2563 Outies are better than Inies. 1.3053 0.05614 95 70 21 4
2564 I’m telling you Fido, THIS is the new black. 1.3053 0.05810 95 71 19 5
2565 I just got stuck in a lampshade. 1.3049 0.06420 82 62 15 5
2566 I used reverse psy-collar-gy. 1.3049 0.05673 82 59 21 2
2567 I'll chew on yours if you chew on mine. 1.3049 0.06420 82 62 15 5
2568 Mine was a snout lift. 1.3049 0.05673 82 59 21 2
2569 No, I haven't been fixed. I've joined the priesthood. 1.3049 0.06651 82 63 13 6
2570 The problem isn’t my licking, it’s my body wanting to be licked. 1.3049 0.05933 82 60 19 3
2571 I feel if we do kiss... we will never be apart. 1.3049 0.06420 82 62 15 5
2572 I'm not fixed, I'm fashionable 1.3049 0.06420 82 62 15 5
2573 I know your dad didn’t read the instructions 1.3049 0.06420 82 62 15 5
2574 I run faster this way. 1.3049 0.06420 82 62 15 5
2575 That's how the pups are wearing it these days. 1.3049 0.05673 82 59 21 2
2576 Yeah, I realized it’s much easier to eat pussy this way. 1.3049 0.06873 82 64 11 7
2577 Do you get better reception when your cone faces out like that? 1.3049 0.05933 82 60 19 3
2578 I used to think the glass was half empty too. 1.3049 0.06420 82 62 15 5
2579 It is just like wearing your mask below your nose. 1.3049 0.06420 82 62 15 5
2580 They wanted me to wear that way, but have you ever tried getting your head in the toilet with that thing on? 1.3049 0.07089 82 65 9 8
2581 My vet appears to be an introvert. 1.3049 0.06651 82 63 13 6
2582 It's so aerodynamic. I don't chase squirrels anymore, I lap them. 1.3049 0.05673 82 59 21 2
2583 The cone of trust 1.3049 0.06420 82 62 15 5
2584 CDC now recommends we double cone. 1.3049 0.06420 82 62 15 5
2585 Oh, look! You have an innie! 1.3049 0.06181 82 61 17 4
2586 It’s called leisurewear, Gus. 1.3049 0.05673 82 59 21 2
2587 I think they want me to lick myself. 1.3043 0.05950 69 49 19 1
2588 So I take it you’re also an anti-masker? 1.3043 0.05934 92 69 18 5
2589 Fashion before function, Carl. You look ridiculous. 1.3043 0.06942 69 52 13 4
2590 I’m an ‘outie' 1.3043 0.06627 69 51 15 3
2591 It keeps him from scratching me behind the ears; I always hated that. 1.3043 0.06942 69 52 13 4
2592 Just dive head first into the clothes washer while the door is open! 1.3043 0.05934 92 69 18 5
2593 I've had both my shots, so I no longer need to isolate. 1.3043 0.07242 69 53 11 5
2594 That look is so yesterday. And it must kill your ears when you bark. 1.3043 0.05729 92 68 20 4
2595 I've finally gotten it behind me. 1.3043 0.06132 92 70 16 6
2596 How's the reception in there? 1.3043 0.06298 69 50 17 2
2597 Still wearing last season's model? 1.3043 0.05517 92 67 22 3
2598 I told the vet I was horny. 1.3043 0.06627 69 51 15 3
2599 Tonsils. You? 1.3043 0.06942 69 52 13 4
2600 It's more aerodynamic, so you heal faster. 1.3043 0.05934 92 69 18 5
2601 It was a Kosher operation. 1.3043 0.06132 92 70 16 6
2602 That collar is so last year. 1.3043 0.05934 92 69 18 5
2603 Wait till they are going fast. Put your head out the window. Bam - you're free! 1.3043 0.06324 92 71 14 7
2604 They marketed it as "aerodynamic and fashionable." 1.3043 0.05296 92 66 24 2
2605 Same thing always happens to my umbrella. 1.3043 0.06298 69 50 17 2
2606 you must be a republican 1.3043 0.06942 69 52 13 4
2607 I accepted the limited nature of my existence and in this acceptance I was made free. 1.3043 0.06324 92 71 14 7
2608 Buster, is this the new variant? 1.3043 0.05729 92 68 20 4
2609 Let me guess... Tik Tok? 1.3043 0.07242 69 53 11 5
2610 The aerodynamics are noticeably better. 1.3039 0.05358 102 75 23 4
2611 Mine's Edwardian. 1.3039 0.05877 102 78 17 7
2612 It’s a new procedure 1.3039 0.05536 102 76 21 5
2613 Being a Seeing Eye dog has its perks. 1.3038 0.06826 79 61 12 6
2614 You need to shift the paradigm." 1.3038 0.06826 79 61 12 6
2615 My master turned it around because we’re running in the marathon this week. 1.3038 0.06584 79 60 14 5
2616 I shaved 15 seconds off my mile time wearing it like this. 1.3038 0.06826 79 61 12 6
2617 It’s a lamp shade. Things got crazy after our owner left for work. 1.3038 0.06332 79 59 16 4
2618 You just don't have the balls. 1.3038 0.06826 79 61 12 6
2619 My owners thought it was a bib. 1.3038 0.06332 79 59 16 4
2620 Seriously, at lean out the car window and the damn thing snaps back like this. 1.3038 0.06826 79 61 12 6
2621 It’s slimming. 1.3038 0.06584 79 60 14 5
2622 It's called 'retro' 1.3038 0.06332 79 59 16 4
2623 I got the more aerodynamic model. 1.3038 0.06584 79 60 14 5
2624 Thanks, but I'm not that clever, my master is dyslexic. 1.3038 0.06332 79 59 16 4
2625 You know, when you stick your head out the car window... 1.3038 0.05207 79 55 24 0
2626 Why don't we trade for the day? It will really confuse our owners. 1.3038 0.06584 79 60 14 5
2627 I need to ask you a really big favor. 1.3038 0.07059 79 62 10 7
2628 You got it wrong. It's Falstaff not The Handmaid's Tale. 1.3038 0.06332 79 59 16 4
2629 You bite my stitch, I'll bite yours. 1.3038 0.06584 79 60 14 5
2630 we can kiss, but no necking. 1.3038 0.06584 79 60 14 5
2631 I know right?? All this time! 1.3038 0.06584 79 60 14 5
2632 ‘Still can’t lick my butt, but the rest of life feels so much brighter’ 1.3038 0.07286 79 63 8 8
2633 It keeps my tail from getting into my eyes! 1.3038 0.05797 79 57 20 2
2634 My vet took my pain meds. 1.3038 0.06071 79 58 18 3
2635 You wouldn’t understand. It’s a Tesla design. 1.3038 0.06826 79 61 12 6
2636 The noise was getting to be too much 1.3038 0.06332 79 59 16 4
2637 I see you've been binging The Handmaid's Tale again. 1.3036 0.05927 112 88 14 10
2638 I’ll scratch your ear if you’ll lick my balls. 1.3034 0.06856 89 71 9 9
2639 you're a inny I'm a outty 1.3034 0.06667 89 70 11 8
2640 Yeah. My insurance only pays for the kind that faces backwards 1.3034 0.06065 89 67 17 5
2641 It gets better. 1.3034 0.05628 89 65 21 3
2642 I think we would make a good fit! 1.3034 0.06272 89 68 15 6
2643 Yeah,it happens every time I stick my head out of the car window. 1.3034 0.06272 89 68 15 6
2644 It's the cone of pride 1.3034 0.06472 89 69 13 7
2645 Hello! Can you hear me? I think you’re on mute 1.3034 0.05851 89 66 19 4
2646 It's really just a simple cone inversion problem, all the math teachers are doing it... 1.3034 0.06065 89 67 17 5
2647 The acoustics are much better this way. 1.3034 0.05628 89 65 21 3
2648 This could be mutually beneficial... 1.3034 0.06065 89 67 17 5
2649 I guess I didn’t read the latest CDC guidelines. 1.3034 0.05851 89 66 19 4
2650 We joined the Presbyterians. 1.3034 0.06065 89 67 17 5
2651 My people don't believe in shaming 1.3034 0.05851 89 66 19 4
2652 Mine's custom. 1.3034 0.06065 89 67 17 5
2653 I don't have an injury; I'm doing "Twelfth Night" down at the dog park. 1.3034 0.06065 89 67 17 5
2654 No surgery. My owner is an engineer, it cuts down wind resistance chasing squirrels. 1.3034 0.06065 89 67 17 5
2655 I see your folks read directions. 1.3034 0.06065 89 67 17 5
2656 'It's okay, they've got the vaccine now' 1.3034 0.06065 89 67 17 5
2657 So if I invert my cone, I escape the Baby-Boomer humor universe” 1.3034 0.05851 89 66 19 4
2658 Yo, it's the canine backwards baseball cap. 1.3030 0.05644 99 74 20 5
2659 Wearing it this way eliminates that pesky echo. 1.3030 0.06333 99 78 12 9
2660 Have you ever seen it this windy? 1.3030 0.07470 66 51 10 5
2661 No, you have to face *into* the wind. 1.3030 0.05824 99 75 18 6
2662 The new vetinarary intern seems nice. 1.3030 0.05824 99 75 18 6
2663 I appreciate your traditional approach,but, personally, I am going more for a Lady Gaga-esque vibe. 1.3030 0.07470 66 51 10 5
2664 I see you haven't heard about the new reverse therapy. 1.3030 0.05998 99 76 16 7
2665 My vet is dyslexic. 1.3028 0.05607 109 83 19 7
2666 You're so judgemental...it still works AND I can breathe! 1.3026 0.06218 76 56 17 3
2667 Not only is it reversible, the lamp still works. 1.3026 0.06759 76 58 13 5
2668 I look better than I sound. 1.3026 0.06759 76 58 13 5
2669 Nah, can't lick 'em either. 1.3026 0.06494 76 57 15 4
2670 Look on the flip side... 1.3026 0.06759 76 58 13 5
2671 I’m a woofer; you’re a tweeter. 1.3026 0.06218 76 56 17 3
2672 My problems are behind me" 1.3026 0.05626 76 54 21 1
2673 They’re sweet, but not very bright. 1.3026 0.06218 76 56 17 3
2674 It gives me the necessary speed to catch my tail. 1.3026 0.06494 76 57 15 4
2675 I was rescued by Dominican nuns. 1.3026 0.06759 76 58 13 5
2676 It's a Tesla. 1.3026 0.07014 76 59 11 6
2677 Well, comfort is key when barking from home. 1.3026 0.07014 76 59 11 6
2678 There's no injury. It cleans up my aerodynamic profile for chasing cars. 1.3026 0.06759 76 58 13 5
2679 My vet is from England. Why do you ask? 1.3026 0.05929 76 55 19 2
2680 That’s so two dog years ago. 1.3026 0.06218 76 56 17 3
2681 Only one of us is right 1.3026 0.05929 76 55 19 2
2682 This way, you can still sniff your own butt. 1.3023 0.06834 86 68 10 8
2683 Hey, you're an in-y and I'm an out-y. 1.3023 0.06421 86 66 14 6
2684 Which one of our owners can't read directions? 1.3023 0.05747 86 63 20 3
2685 How’s the reception? 1.3023 0.05503 86 62 22 2
2686 melborp eht ees tnod I 1.3023 0.06421 86 66 14 6
2687 It's surprising how easy it is to train my human to do whatever I want. 1.3023 0.06421 86 66 14 6
2688 It's a long story, but mine is actually a lampshade. 1.3023 0.06631 86 67 12 7
2689 Its really not that uncommon. Its called an "innie". 1.3023 0.05980 86 64 18 4
2690 They asked me if I was Catholic 1.3023 0.05980 86 64 18 4
2691 This way I can hear the ocean. 1.3023 0.06204 86 65 16 5
2692 I went for the aerodynamic model. 1.3023 0.05980 86 64 18 4
2693 Say five Hail Marys and two Our Fathers, resolve to not pee on the carpet and then who's a GOOD boy! 1.3023 0.06204 86 65 16 5
2694 Personally,I find the flipped-up collar too preppy a look. 1.3023 0.05980 86 64 18 4
2695 If you walk backwards, it looks like you have it on right. 1.3023 0.06204 86 65 16 5
2696 Really, Rex? That style is so last year! 1.3023 0.06631 86 67 12 7
2697 Did you hear that? 1.3023 0.05503 86 62 22 2
2698 Yeah we’re pretty much doing the opposite of what any doctor says these days. 1.3023 0.06421 86 66 14 6
2699 It’s my version of downward-facing dog. 1.3023 0.06421 86 66 14 6
2700 Turn that frown upside down! 1.3021 0.05758 96 72 19 5
2701 Enough with the megaphone! 1.3021 0.05946 96 73 17 6
2702 Not bowing to convention is the only thing that makes me feel alive these days. 1.3021 0.04938 96 68 27 1
2703 Yeah, well I checked Tiktok and Gen-z is saying this is the way to wear it now 1.3021 0.05565 96 71 21 4
2704 I'm not injured, I'm pretending to be a pilgrim. 1.3021 0.05946 96 73 17 6
2705 You still can’t lick your ass BUT you can eat without shame 1.3021 0.05364 96 70 23 3
2706 It keeps me from touching my face. 1.3019 0.05221 106 78 24 4
2707 Well,My owner suffers from Dyslexia 1.3016 0.08043 63 50 7 6
2708 Just run through the dog door. 1.3014 0.05912 73 55 15 3
2709 How did you turn on your megaphone setting?? 1.3014 0.06668 73 55 14 4
2710 Hindsight is 20/20. 1.3014 0.07216 73 57 10 6
2711 It's how they're wearing them at Westminster. 1.3014 0.06668 73 55 14 4
2712 Now I don't get so claustrophobic when I'm sniffing butts. 1.3014 0.06071 73 53 18 2
2713 Instagram vs Reality 1.3014 0.06668 73 55 14 4
2714 The best part is 'no echo' 1.3014 0.06668 73 55 14 4
2715 I just got the vaccine! 1.3014 0.06668 73 55 14 4
2716 Is it me, or is the whole world turned around? 1.3014 0.06668 73 55 14 4
2717 What!?! I can’t hear you! 1.3014 0.06948 73 56 12 5
2718 Rookie 1.3014 0.06668 73 55 14 4
2719 My doctor is a postmodernist 1.3014 0.06376 73 54 16 3
2720 Look, I’m a Handmaid’s Tail 1.3014 0.06948 73 56 12 5
2721 Honestly, this way is much more aerodynamic for when you stick your head out of the car window. Try it! 1.3014 0.06376 73 54 16 3
2722 It makes it easier to sniff your butt.. can I sniff your butt?! 1.3012 0.06800 83 65 11 7
2723 Well, look at chew! 1.3012 0.05209 83 61 20 2
2724 This way is more fetching! 1.3012 0.06353 83 63 15 5
2725 I’m all healed, but I love an accessory. 1.3012 0.06117 83 62 17 4
2726 If you scratch mine I'll scratch yours 1.3012 0.06800 83 65 11 7
2727 I see you're a fan of conservative media. 1.3012 0.06580 83 64 13 6
2728 I have no idea who NASA is,but they called 1.3012 0.05872 83 61 19 3
2729 Our company doesn’t have a strict dress code. 1.3012 0.06117 83 62 17 4
2730 Yes my son, of course I will hear your confession! 1.3012 0.06580 83 64 13 6
2731 My owner drives really fast. 1.3012 0.06353 83 63 15 5
2732 It's a Montessori thing. 1.3012 0.06353 83 63 15 5
2733 You have to run really fast. 1.3012 0.06353 83 63 15 5
2734 I read on Barker that cones are a hoax. 1.3012 0.05872 83 61 19 3
2735 My owner was totally baffled ; he still thinks Trump won. 1.3012 0.06353 83 63 15 5
2736 These days,we don’t know if we’re coming or going. 1.3012 0.06117 83 62 17 4
2737 Vet prescribed, but patriots don’t let fear of infection trump our rights to lick 1.3012 0.06117 83 62 17 4
2738 You wouldn’t believe the wind. 1.3012 0.06117 83 62 17 4
2739 You’re wearing it wrong. Dr. Fauci says it should cover your nose and mouth. 1.3012 0.06580 83 64 13 6
2740 It’s okay man, you can come out, 2020 is over. 1.3012 0.06117 83 62 17 4
2741 They wear it like this in France. 1.3012 0.05746 83 63 16 4
2742 it’s more aero dynamic during car rides 1.3012 0.05872 83 61 19 3
2743 My owner calls it lamp shade chic. 1.3011 0.06074 93 71 16 6
2744 There is lot less drag when chasing cars. 1.3011 0.05677 93 69 20 4
2745 I still can't bite my stitches, but at least it's more areodynamic. 1.3011 0.05677 93 69 20 4
2746 I think it's a sign we were meant for each other. 1.3011 0.05677 93 69 20 4
2747 It can also be worn as a skirt. 1.3011 0.05021 93 66 26 1
2748 Call me a clown if you want, but I can still chew your tail for a biscuit. 1.3011 0.05467 93 68 22 3
2749 ‘Do you really think it’s about keeping you safe? Wake up!’ 1.3011 0.06448 93 73 12 8
2750 Fixed but make it fashion. 1.3000 0.05575 90 66 21 3
2751 This means that they un-fixed me right?” 1.3000 0.06006 80 59 18 3
2752 Lots of dogs are into popping their collars, but I prefer a more casual look. 1.3000 0.06222 70 51 17 2
2753 Thanks for the heads up. Mirrors baffle me. 1.3000 0.06007 90 68 17 5
2754 I’m trying reverse psychology 1.3000 0.05737 80 58 20 2
2755 Because I could. 1.3000 0.06264 80 60 16 4
2756 I feel it helps preserve the dignity of forced castration 1.3000 0.07151 70 54 11 5
2757 I’m notorious D-O-G. 1.3000 0.06211 90 69 15 6
2758 This way, I can't scratch but I can still sniff. 1.3000 0.06512 80 61 14 5
2759 No, YOU'RE wearing it backwards! 1.3000 0.06211 90 69 15 6
2760 No, I think you're the one who has it on backwards. 1.3000 0.06006 80 59 18 3
2761 If you walk backwards, no one notices. 1.3000 0.06981 80 63 10 7
2762 Easy on the eyes, aerodynamic, and doesn’t get in the way of proper introductions if you know what I’m saying. 1.3000 0.06512 80 61 14 5
2763 It's the new starched white collier look of the 1900s. All the dogs will be wearing it. 1.3000 0.06006 80 59 18 3
2764 I got the lead in "The Crucible!" 1.3000 0.05946 100 77 16 7
2765 OMG. You’re such a goody-goody. 1.3000 0.06007 90 68 17 5
2766 My owner's Ignorance is my Bliss. 1.3000 0.06006 80 59 18 3
2767 I kept barking at the gramaphone. 1.3000 0.06264 80 60 16 4
2768 How's your reception? 1.3000 0.06007 90 68 17 5
2769 That headwind's a killer. 1.3000 0.06512 80 61 14 5
2770 ...And then all of a sudden a huge gust came and blew all my troubles away! 1.3000 0.06007 90 68 17 5
2771 My mobility suffers but my peripheral vision is back! 1.3000 0.06007 90 68 17 5
2772 Which sect are you? 1.3000 0.05347 90 65 23 2
2773 Agreed—no more throwing shade. 1.3000 0.06751 80 62 12 6
2774 I didn’t know you were celibate. 1.3000 0.06006 80 59 18 3
2775 My Vet might be dyslexic.....At least I can see the furniture I run into. 1.3000 0.07435 70 55 9 6
2776 I came out. 1.3000 0.06547 70 52 15 3
2777 Now I see what they mean by an "innie" and an "outie" 1.3000 0.06856 70 53 13 4
2778 . . . and I told him it was way too windy for a walk. 1.3000 0.06601 90 71 11 8
2779 Be smarter than me, bark to go out; don't try using the dog door! 1.3000 0.06409 90 70 13 7
2780 Believe me, I wish I had blinders on around this family. 1.3000 0.06006 80 59 18 3
2781 I’d say in your case it’s best to back through the dog door. 1.3000 0.06856 70 53 13 4
2782 Does this make my neck look fat? 1.3000 0.05575 90 66 21 3
2783 Yeah, yeah, yeah. Show me the data these things actually protect us! 1.3000 0.06512 80 61 14 5
2784 Now I can run faster than you can!" 1.3000 0.06856 70 53 13 4
2785 You should see the new table he tried to put together! 1.3000 0.05737 80 58 20 2
2786 Once you put your head out the car window, you'll never look back. 1.3000 0.05575 90 66 21 3
2787 Oh look, another denier! 1.3000 0.06512 80 61 14 5
2788 We're a perfect match 1.3000 0.06512 80 61 14 5
2789 And somehow she still got pregnant 1.3000 0.06211 90 69 15 6
2790 Wtf Jerry 1.3000 0.06409 90 70 13 7
2791 I bet your humans wear their masks below their noses. 1.3000 0.06264 80 60 16 4
2792 Linda, it's fashion week! Put in a little bit of effort! 1.3000 0.07435 70 55 9 6
2793 I keep telling you man, acid really opens your eyes to the world 1.3000 0.06512 80 61 14 5
2794 I'm a glass half full kind of dog 1.3000 0.06006 80 59 18 3
2795 I know the Centers for Doggy Control (CDC) said to wear it over my face, but I find it limits my face-licking and crotch sniffing capabilities that way. 1.3000 0.06512 80 61 14 5
2796 You scratch mine, I'll scratch yours. 1.2991 0.05667 107 82 18 7
2797 Yeah! Absolutely! I had my second shot! 1.2990 0.05892 97 74 17 6
2798 what can I say My Vet likes to smoke the hooch 1.2990 0.06246 97 76 13 8
2799 My vet is a big believer in alternative medicine. 1.2989 0.06143 87 66 16 5
2800 You look like a handmaid. I look like a superhero. 1.2989 0.06143 87 66 16 5
2801 I still can't get to them. 1.2989 0.06563 87 68 12 7
2802 My vet gave me his cell phone number. 1.2989 0.06143 87 66 16 5
2803 I'm backing up. 1.2989 0.05691 87 64 20 3
2804 This is actually permanent, my father was a traffic cone. 1.2989 0.06563 87 68 12 7
2805 We compromised. I don’t get to scratch my ears but I can still lick my butt. 1.2989 0.06563 87 68 12 7
2806 Yeah, I can see more, but I still can’t lick my butt! 1.2989 0.05921 87 65 18 4
2807 How long has it been since your last confession? 1.2989 0.06143 87 66 16 5
2808 Spaceman or Pilgrim, we're screwed either way. 1.2989 0.06143 87 66 16 5
2809 I just had a big breakthrough with my therapist. 1.2989 0.05691 87 64 20 3
2810 This is how they wear them on Bridgerton. 1.2989 0.05451 87 63 22 2
2811 You’re such a conformist, George. 1.2989 0.05921 87 65 18 4
2812 It’s not what you think... 1.2989 0.05921 87 65 18 4
2813 It was violating my personal liberty 1.2989 0.06143 87 66 16 5
2814 It’s called a ruff. 1.2987 0.06149 77 57 17 3
2815 I wouldn't use the phrase "lucky dog," but okay. 1.2987 0.07410 77 62 7 8
2816 I love my vet - he has dyslexia. 1.2987 0.06933 77 60 11 6
2817 I just squeezed my head out the window of the car and voila! 1.2987 0.06682 77 59 13 5
2818 I'm not fighting the wind, I'm using it! 1.2987 0.06149 77 57 17 3
2819 It's a beautiful new world once you've had all your shots. 1.2987 0.06421 77 58 15 4
2820 I guess you'll have to be happy doing the upward dog position. 1.2987 0.06149 77 57 17 3
2821 If you bark loud enough they let you do it. 1.2987 0.06149 77 57 17 3
2822 You're going to the vet but I'm going TO THE MOON. 1.2987 0.06933 77 60 11 6
2823 Still no licking, but the mileage is better. 1.2987 0.06682 77 59 13 5
2824 It all depends on how you look at it. 1.2987 0.06421 77 58 15 4
2825 It’s supposed to go ABOVE the nose! 1.2987 0.06682 77 59 13 5
2826 I don't believe in social distancing either. 1.2987 0.06682 77 59 13 5
2827 Wanna neck, or do it doggie style? 1.2987 0.05865 77 56 19 2
2828 I guess I’m lucky, Spot, my owner is dyslexic. 1.2987 0.06682 77 59 13 5
2829 It's more shameful when your owner puts it on backwards. 1.2987 0.06149 77 57 17 3
2830 It's laundry day. 1.2987 0.06682 77 59 13 5
2831 Didn’t you learn this at disobedience school? 1.2987 0.06421 77 58 15 4
2832 No no, mine’s a koan. 1.2985 0.07372 67 52 10 5
2833 Listen, don't tell me how to wear it. 1.2985 0.06730 67 50 14 3
2834 Sometimes it pays to have dumb owners as long as they remember to feed me. 1.2979 0.06205 94 73 14 7
2835 No offense, but your style adds 10 pounds. 1.2979 0.06018 94 72 16 6
2836 How is the clinical trial going for you? 1.2979 0.05625 94 70 20 4
2837 - This way it doesn't echoe when I bark! 1.2979 0.06387 94 74 12 8
2838 It's fashion forward. 1.2979 0.05825 94 71 18 5
2839 Are you getting CNN in your left ear? Mine is disrupted. 1.2979 0.06018 94 72 16 6
2840 It's way more aerodynamic. 1.2979 0.05625 94 70 20 4
2841 I know, right! I got over 1 million new followers this week. 1.2979 0.05625 94 70 20 4
2842 Do people act differently around you now too? 1.2979 0.05418 94 69 22 3
2843 I just found a loophole 1.2979 0.05625 94 70 20 4
2844 How are you catching more biscuits than me? 1.2976 0.06287 84 64 15 5
2845 I finally realized that I decide what's shameful. 1.2976 0.05297 84 60 23 1
2846 It keeps me from licking my balls—want to trade? 1.2976 0.06287 84 64 15 5
2847 No no no I'm fine, I just stuck my head through a lampshade. 1.2976 0.06511 84 65 13 6
2848 I'm a priest. 1.2976 0.06055 84 63 17 4
2849 It's a little better, maybe, but y'know what? It still sucks. 1.2976 0.06055 84 63 17 4
2850 And then I flipped around real quick and entered from the other side. 1.2976 0.06511 84 65 13 6
2851 Better aerodynamics 1.2976 0.06287 84 64 15 5
2852 Same results. Better peripheral vision. 1.2976 0.06287 84 64 15 5
2853 Stick your head in the toilet, then pull it out really fast. 1.2976 0.06287 84 64 15 5
2854 I opted for the aerodynamic model. 1.2976 0.06055 84 63 17 4
2855 Ever get the feeling you don't know if you're coming or going? 1.2976 0.06287 84 64 15 5
2856 It’s easy! Just wait until they’re not watching. Then, go to the chair. With your head between the legs, push until it pops. It’s fun. They can’t figure it out and give up! 1.2976 0.06511 84 65 13 6
2857 School Play. I'm glad that I got to be a Pilgrim, being an Elizabethan looks very constricting. 1.2976 0.06055 84 63 17 4
2858 Well, it was more of an obtuse injury than an acute one. 1.2976 0.06287 84 64 15 5
2859 My owner belongs to one of the less intelligent breeds. 1.2976 0.06055 84 63 17 4
2860 We reached a compromise. 1.2976 0.06055 84 63 17 4
2861 It's bespoke. 1.2976 0.06055 84 63 17 4
2862 It all depends on whether you want to pretend it’s armor or a bonnet. 1.2976 0.05561 84 61 21 2
2863 Apparently they don’t want the rest of my body touching my face 1.2976 0.06728 84 66 11 7
2864 It's just as effective and much more aerodynamic. 1.2973 0.06590 74 56 14 4
2865 You look ridiculous. 1.2973 0.06303 74 55 16 3
2866 They say it's because I'm an Australian Shepard. 1.2973 0.06303 74 55 16 3
2867 Honey, that cone is so 2020. 1.2973 0.06590 74 56 14 4
2868 I just think it looks cuter this way. 1.2973 0.06002 74 54 18 2
2869 This took care of the ringing n my ears 1.2973 0.06303 74 55 16 3
2870 Fred, the Elizabethan look is so last year! 1.2973 0.06303 74 55 16 3
2871 Partied too much and did the lampshade bit, am I right ? 1.2973 0.06303 74 55 16 3
2872 to see or not to see that is the peripheral 1.2973 0.07631 74 60 6 8
2873 you can go a lot faster if you wear it this way 1.2973 0.07385 74 59 8 7
2874 I’m wearing it backwards? Let’s see you attempt the door again! 1.2973 0.06590 74 56 14 4
2875 It's called a dissent collar. 1.2970 0.05894 101 78 16 7
2876 I heard this is how the pups are wearing them these days 1.2969 0.07612 64 50 9 5
2877 I call it the Cone of Pride. 1.2967 0.05741 91 68 19 4
2878 Hey look! I took your advice and I turned things around. 1.2967 0.05741 91 68 19 4
2879 Sleek,right? Lululemon! 1.2967 0.05741 91 68 19 4
2880 From shame to Elizabethan. It's a step up. But I still can't scratch. 1.2967 0.05741 91 68 19 4
2881 Sometimes my owner's spatial dyslexia works to my advantage. 1.2967 0.05949 91 69 17 5
2882 I'll lick your stitches, if you'll lick mine. 1.2967 0.05949 91 69 17 5
2883 I'm pretty sure it will work if we go head to tail 1.2967 0.06151 91 70 15 6
2884 Tell them you're a Notorious RBG fan - it worked for me. 1.2967 0.05949 91 69 17 5
2885 A good gust of wind and it becomes a fashion accessory. 1.2967 0.05524 91 67 21 3
2886 I’ve always been more of an extrovert. 1.2967 0.05741 91 68 19 4
2887 I think it makes me look thinner. 1.2967 0.05741 91 68 19 4
2888 Forward is ‘Good Doggy.’ Backward is ‘Gangsta Cur. 1.2967 0.06347 91 71 13 7
2889 Nope, no Irish in me - I'm a trendsetter. 1.2967 0.05949 91 69 17 5
2890 No I swear, it’s aerodynamic! 1.2967 0.05741 91 68 19 4
2891 Did you try asking? All I had to do was ask politely. 1.2967 0.05298 91 66 23 2
2892 Now I run faster than ever. 1.2963 0.06442 81 62 14 5
2893 Much more aerodynamic this way 1.2963 0.06904 81 64 10 7
2894 I just stuck my head out of the car window on the expressway. 1.2963 0.06442 81 62 14 5
2895 Smell? My strongest sense is fashion. 1.2963 0.05943 81 60 18 3
2896 Can you hear me now? Me, gained .578 seconds on my way to the old feed bowl. 1.2963 0.05943 81 60 18 3
2897 For the sake of our friendship,let's just agree to disagree. 1.2963 0.05943 81 60 18 3
2898 Did you get in a fight with the lamp,too? 1.2963 0.05678 81 59 20 2
2899 Obviously....we are a fit! 1.2963 0.06904 81 64 10 7
2900 It's easy. You just run as hard as you can headfirst into a wall. 1.2963 0.06442 81 62 14 5
2901 Check mine out, it's reversible! 1.2963 0.06677 81 63 12 6
2902 I've found this to be much more aerodynamic. 1.2963 0.06197 81 61 16 4
2903 You don’t have the new iCone? 1.2963 0.07124 81 65 8 8
2904 You like fighting lamps too? 1.2963 0.06904 81 64 10 7
2905 When you see the speedometer hit 70, stick your head out the window. Foolproof. 1.2963 0.05773 108 84 16 8
2906 I decided on the” hear no evil “ look from the spring summer 2021 collection. 1.2963 0.06904 81 64 10 7
2907 This way, I can go through the doggie door. 1.2963 0.05678 81 59 20 2
2908 Another benefit of putting your head out the window! 1.2963 0.05943 81 60 18 3
2909 And what Order do you belong to? 1.2963 0.05943 81 60 18 3
2910 It's called aerodynamics, my friend. 1.2963 0.05943 81 60 18 3
2911 Thanks, it's artisan. 1.2959 0.05657 98 74 19 5
2912 Are they calling yours an app, too? 1.2959 0.05840 98 75 17 6
2913 I like your popped collar! You must be from Jersey? 1.2959 0.05657 98 74 19 5
2914 This way requires less lubricant! 1.2959 0.06190 98 77 13 8
2915 I can hear you now! 1.2958 0.06149 71 52 17 2
2916 I'm thinking of joining the priesthood. 1.2958 0.06467 71 53 15 3
2917 Magicians never reveal their secrets. 1.2958 0.07062 71 55 11 5
2918 It's not prescription, but don't I look more mature? 1.2958 0.05455 71 52 18 1
2919 It was interfering with my golf game 1.2958 0.07062 71 55 11 5
2920 You should see the cat! 1.2958 0.06771 71 54 13 4
2921 So, is your Grampa the RCA Victor Dog? 1.2958 0.06467 71 53 15 3
2922 It's my constitutional right. 1.2958 0.05455 71 55 13 3
2923 If you'll shred me mine, I'lll shred you yours. 1.2958 0.06467 71 53 15 3
2924 I like the acoustics better. 1.2958 0.06149 71 52 17 2
2925 I can’t even image what they did to you if yours is facing that way. 1.2957 0.05380 115 88 20 7
2926 I have another enormous favor to ask you. 1.2955 0.06293 88 68 14 6
2927 They were talking about baseball caps, but I said, "Wait, I have a great idea"! 1.2955 0.06293 88 68 14 6
2928 I roll my own 1.2955 0.05636 88 65 20 3
2929 It's great! Now I look like a flower instead of a satellite dish. 1.2955 0.05636 88 65 20 3
2930 Excessive flatulence. You? 1.2955 0.06293 88 68 14 6
2931 I'm special. 1.2955 0.05399 88 64 22 2
2932 Fortunately, my owner is dysletic 1.2955 0.06082 88 67 16 5
2933 .ecitcarp sekat tsuj tI 1.2955 0.05863 88 66 18 4
2934 You never learn, do you! 1.2955 0.05863 88 66 18 4
2935 It's windy out there. 1.2955 0.05636 88 68 16 4
2936 It’s Eastern medicine 1.2955 0.06497 88 69 12 7
2937 This is how they do it if you're Jewish. 1.2955 0.05863 88 66 18 4
2938 I love Shakespeare. 1.2955 0.05863 88 66 18 4
2939 Who's owner is stupid now? 1.2955 0.06082 88 67 16 5
2940 Don’t worry, it’ll turn around. 1.2955 0.06082 88 67 16 5
2941 How long have you been on Match.com? 1.2955 0.05636 88 65 20 3
2942 When you throw up a couple of times, they turn it around. 1.2955 0.06293 88 68 14 6
2943 It took him 3 days to even notice! 1.2955 0.05636 88 65 20 3
2944 I call it the cone of fame. 1.2955 0.06082 88 67 16 5
2945 It's my Karl Lagerfeld look. 1.2955 0.05863 88 66 18 4
2946 Not feeling the El Greco - how about the Ginsburg? 1.2955 0.06082 88 67 16 5
2947 It’s called outside-of-the-box thinking. 1.2955 0.05863 88 66 18 4
2948 I call it, “the cone of only mild embarrassment.” 1.2955 0.05863 88 66 18 4
2949 Don’t be jealous, I still can’t lick my balls. 1.2955 0.06293 88 68 14 6
2950 You know, I bet that style is better for tanning. 1.2951 0.06753 61 45 14 2
2951 Yeah, your barks are louder. 1.2951 0.07518 61 47 10 4
2952 I prefer the Elizabethan look. 1.2949 0.05802 78 57 19 2
2953 My shame is transformed into fashion! 1.2949 0.06350 78 59 15 4
2954 I stuck my head out the car window and, "Voila!" 1.2949 0.06082 78 58 17 3
2955 I could make a joke but I’m guessing you could too. 1.2949 0.06607 78 60 13 5
2956 Wind. 1.2949 0.06350 78 59 15 4
2957 Head wind. 1.2949 0.06350 78 59 15 4
2958 I’m a race dog and aerodynamics count. 1.2949 0.05508 78 56 21 1
2959 Ever wonder why nobody thought of this before? 1.2949 0.06350 78 59 15 4
2960 My collar? We’ll, it’s Edwardian. 1.2949 0.06082 78 58 17 3
2961 My owner doesn't wear hers correctly, either. She puts it over her face! 1.2949 0.06082 78 58 17 3
2962 I know we’re the same species. I want to know what denomination you are . 1.2949 0.06082 78 58 17 3
2963 Let's just say it was an itch I needed to scratch. 1.2949 0.06082 78 58 17 3
2964 It depends on what you think it's for. I say speed. 1.2949 0.06350 78 59 15 4
2965 Yeah, I’m wearing it backwards. Next step is growing out my chin beard. 1.2949 0.06082 78 58 17 3
2966 Wind advisory tonight with gusts to 40mph. 1.2949 0.06082 78 58 17 3
2967 That was sooo pre-pandemic. 1.2949 0.06854 78 61 11 6
2968 Wild party last night, Huh? 1.2949 0.06082 78 58 17 3
2969 Can you still sniff butts like that? 1.2949 0.06350 78 59 15 4
2970 It's about fashion not function for me. 1.2949 0.06082 78 58 17 3
2971 Well, the story starts with me sniffing Rolph’s butt. 1.2949 0.06350 78 59 15 4
2972 I’m protesting against the cone mandate 1.2949 0.07093 78 62 9 7
2973 If you run really, really fast. 1.2949 0.06082 78 58 17 3
2974 My owner has this Little Lord Fauntleroy thing going. 1.2947 0.05772 95 72 18 5
2975 I got the idea form a lamp 1.2947 0.05574 95 71 20 4
2976 This gives me something of a priestly look. 1.2947 0.05772 95 72 18 5
2977 I still can't lick my nuts 1.2947 0.05772 95 72 18 5
2978 This way, I can’t lick my balls, but I can help you out. 1.2947 0.05962 95 73 16 6
2979 Running into a strong wind worked for me. 1.2947 0.05772 95 72 18 5
2980 Life after the surgery has really changed my perspective on things. 1.2947 0.06147 95 74 14 7
2981 Ya, we both look pretty ridiculous 1.2947 0.05962 95 73 16 6
2982 If the humans aren’t going to wear their masks right, neither am I. 1.2947 0.06147 95 74 14 7
2983 I went for speed over function 1.2941 0.05993 85 64 17 4
2984 Frankly, I don't give a damn 1.2941 0.06223 85 65 15 5
2985 You bet your ass I can still lick it. 1.2941 0.06444 85 66 13 6
2986 This is how all the cool pups are wearing it! 1.2941 0.05246 85 61 23 1
2987 Wondering about my collar? Ever heard of Ruth Bader Ginsberg? 1.2941 0.05993 85 64 17 4
2988 It makes me more aerodynamic when I fetch. 1.2941 0.05322 102 76 22 4
2989 Call me crazy, but I just know we fit together. 1.2941 0.07276 68 53 10 5
2990 Let’s plug in our tails and see whose head gives off more light. 1.2941 0.06223 85 65 15 5
2991 I mean, the man wears his face mask under his nose, so I guess I can't be too surprised. 1.2941 0.06645 68 51 14 3
2992 I can run much faster 1.2941 0.06444 85 66 13 6
2993 I'm going for Canine Influencer of the Year. 1.2941 0.06444 85 66 13 6
2994 Flipped like this it's called a 'ruff,' which just speaks to me. 1.2941 0.06223 85 65 15 5
2995 I wanted to keep my options open. 1.2941 0.06223 85 65 15 5
2996 Each to their cone. 1.2941 0.05755 85 63 19 3
2997 Yea, I know. My owner doesn’t wear his mask correctly - did you really think he’d get this right?? 1.2941 0.05993 85 64 17 4
2998 Aerodynamics, Burt. They claim it lets you maintain your squirrel count. 1.2935 0.06286 92 72 13 7
2999 Twenty bucks and I'll lick your balls too. 1.2935 0.06286 92 72 13 7
3000 I know we agreed to be lampshades, but I really wanted to be a Puritan for the party. 1.2935 0.05687 92 69 19 4
3001 Dog-Hacks-Dot-Com. 1.2935 0.05893 92 70 17 5
3002 Never look in a mirror when you put your bib on! 1.2935 0.04897 92 68 22 2
3003 Big deal, I still can't lick my balls. What do you mean "What balls?" 1.2935 0.06093 92 71 15 6
3004 It de-emphasizes my jowls. 1.2935 0.05893 92 70 17 5
3005 I can't tell if I am coming or going. 1.2935 0.05893 92 70 17 5
3006 It's a better look for my Zoom calls 1.2935 0.05893 92 70 17 5
3007 Let's adapt. I'll lick yours if you'll lick mine. 1.2935 0.06093 92 71 15 6
3008 Hemorroids, how about you? 1.2935 0.05687 92 69 19 4
3009 I never cared for your order’s habit. 1.2935 0.05893 92 70 17 5
3010 Irony, duh. 1.2935 0.05473 92 68 21 3
3011 The over the shoulder look is always in style. 1.2935 0.05250 92 67 23 2
3012 It brings out my eyes 1.2935 0.05893 92 70 17 5
3013 My vet does what I tell him. 1.2935 0.06093 92 71 15 6
3014 This is how all the European breeds are wearing it 1.2935 0.05687 92 69 19 4
3015 After the cone treatment, I found God and now I’m a minister! 1.2935 0.05893 92 70 17 5
3016 My butt kept trying to nibble at me. 1.2935 0.05473 92 68 21 3
3017 Hey, you can't lick your balls if you don't have any. 1.2933 0.06514 75 57 14 4
3018 Your vet doesn't know what he's doing. 1.2933 0.06514 75 57 14 4
3019 That's so last year. 1.2933 0.05935 75 55 18 2
3020 Haven't you heard? There's a whole new Supreme Court ruling that says they have to let us wear it like this! 1.2933 0.06231 75 56 16 3
3021 Hey look, it's the Coneheads 1.2933 0.06514 75 57 14 4
3022 I find if you wear it this way I can still scratch my ears. 1.2933 0.06231 75 56 16 3
3023 It’s French… 1.2933 0.06514 75 57 14 4
3024 After I got vaccinated, I felt free to wear the cone more sociably. 1.2933 0.07045 75 59 10 6
3025 My Millennial master says there's no wrong way to wear it. 1.2933 0.06785 75 58 12 5
3026 I use a concierge vet. 1.2933 0.06514 75 57 14 4
3027 Just wait until the wind picks up! 1.2933 0.06514 75 57 14 4
3028 My master was multitasking. 1.2933 0.05935 75 55 18 2
3029 My vet may be incompetent, but his sense of style is impeccable”. 1.2933 0.06785 75 58 12 5
3030 I’m not into shame; I’m into glam! 1.2933 0.06231 75 56 16 3
3031 Since I got mine, I find that I'm much more aerodynamic. 1.2933 0.06514 75 57 14 4
3032 I just can't wrap my head around it. 1.2933 0.06785 75 58 12 5
3033 It’s in the perspective I suppose. 1.2933 0.06231 75 56 16 3
3034 This way really accentuates my ears 1.2933 0.06231 75 56 16 3
3035 Quick! Look behind ya! Ha - gets ‘em every time. 1.2933 0.06514 75 57 14 4
3036 You know that echo headache when you bark at the squirrel? It's gone now. 1.2927 0.06132 82 62 16 4
3037 My human is dyslexic. 1.2927 0.05881 82 61 18 3
3038 It flatters my figure. 1.2927 0.06132 82 62 16 4
3039 Next time don't walk backwards through the door. 1.2927 0.06373 82 63 14 5
3040 I’m starting to like living in the convent. 1.2927 0.06373 82 63 14 5
3041 Sure, it's less effective--but it's way more figure flattering this way. 1.2927 0.05881 82 61 18 3
3042 I feel less shameful wearing it this way 1.2927 0.05881 82 61 18 3
3043 Is my master the dumbest guy ever or what? 1.2927 0.06373 82 63 14 5
3044 Try wearing it my way. It makes it a lot easier to get to the stitches. 1.2927 0.06132 82 62 16 4
3045 Oh, I can transmit and receive. 1.2927 0.05881 82 61 18 3
3046 You run real fast into the wind and it just reverses! 1.2927 0.05345 82 59 22 1
3047 It makes your face look thinner. You oughta try it. 1.2927 0.05881 82 61 18 3
3048 I’m RBG. Are you channeling The Handmaid’s Tale? 1.2927 0.05881 82 61 18 3
3049 Well my owner may be dyslexic, but at least he calls me 'god' 1.2927 0.06373 82 63 14 5
3050 That's my story. So, what can't you lick? 1.2927 0.06605 82 64 12 6
3051 The dating app said you were Yin, so I dressed appropriately. 1.2927 0.05345 82 59 22 1
3052 You say inverse I say reciprocal! 1.2927 0.05881 82 61 18 3
3053 So can we agree to disagree 1.2927 0.05345 82 59 22 1
3054 Vet? Oh no. I just blew the agility competition. 1.2927 0.06605 82 64 12 6
3055 Which one is the mirror image? 1.2927 0.06373 82 63 14 5
3056 You're wasting your time if you lecture me about the importance of function over form. 1.2927 0.06132 82 62 16 4
3057 My master means well, but he's an idiot. 1.2927 0.06132 82 62 16 4
3058 What time is your next Zoom meeting? We might have time to fix this. 1.2927 0.06829 82 65 10 7
3059 It has to go over your mouth and nose. 1.2927 0.06373 82 63 14 5
3060 I think you’re doing it wrong. 1.2927 0.06373 82 63 14 5
3061 Yah sorry I didn’t want to look like I’m in the handmaids tale Carl 1.2927 0.05620 82 60 20 2
3062 Look Frank, I'm a lamp 1.2927 0.05620 82 60 20 2
3063 Inside-out is the new black. 1.2923 0.07180 65 50 11 4
3064 My master is so backwards.” 1.2921 0.05806 89 67 18 4
3065 Who are you wearing? 1.2921 0.06022 89 68 16 5
3066 It’s my Car-Cone. 1.2921 0.05582 89 66 20 3
3067 Does this cone make me look fat ? 1.2921 0.05806 89 67 18 4
3068 Easy...just stick your head out the window on I-80. 1.2921 0.06231 89 69 14 6
3069 Don’t worry, I’m vaccinated. 1.2921 0.05806 89 67 18 4
3070 When you've got your head out the car window - aerodynamically, this model is by far the best choice! 1.2921 0.05806 89 67 18 4
3071 Praise Be? 1.2921 0.05806 89 67 18 4
3072 Best thing? ...can’t hear Washington. 1.2921 0.06022 89 68 16 5
3073 No, I'm not Jewish. Why do you ask? 1.2921 0.05806 89 67 18 4
3074 So, you're a nun. I'm a priest! 1.2921 0.05806 89 67 18 4
3075 I can't swear to it, but it had to be the cat. 1.2921 0.05582 89 66 20 3
3076 No, YOU are on backwards, Kevin 1.2921 0.06022 89 68 16 5
3077 Nothing to be ashamed of - my brother’s an ‘outie.’ 1.2921 0.05348 89 65 22 2
3078 You just find a really strong wind, it gets blown back, and then you can bite anybody. 1.2917 0.05908 96 74 16 6
3079 It’s one of those fashions that began as something functional. 1.2917 0.06976 72 56 11 5
3080 I designed it myself. It's reversible. 1.2917 0.05719 96 73 18 5
3081 It's called "individual liberties." 1.2917 0.05719 96 73 18 5
3082 Porsche racing collar. 1.2917 0.06689 72 55 13 4
3083 Flipping the collar is so last year. 1.2917 0.05524 96 72 20 4
3084 Perfect match 1.2917 0.05719 96 73 18 5
3085 Who farted? 1.2917 0.06076 72 53 17 2
3086 It's a New England thing. 1.2917 0.06390 72 54 15 3
3087 You didn’t read the manual? 1.2917 0.06076 72 53 17 2
3088 Your an "Innie" I'm an "Outey" 1.2917 0.05524 96 72 20 4
3089 Not only can I see where I'm going, it's aerodynamically designed so I can get there faster. 1.2917 0.05524 96 72 20 4
3090 It's simple really, just bolt through the cat door. 1.2917 0.06976 72 56 11 5
3091 Have I been wearing it wrong this whole time? 1.2917 0.05524 96 72 20 4
3092 I wanted to go for something a little more ergonomic. 1.2917 0.06390 72 54 15 3
3093 I saw this in Dogue. Chic right? 1.2917 0.06542 72 57 10 5
3094 It’s Couture. I saw it in Paris Fashion week. 1.2917 0.05719 96 73 18 5
3095 They didn’t like it when I sat under the baby’s high chair while she was eating, but I gained almost ten pounds. 1.2913 0.05793 103 80 16 7
3096 Oh, thanks! I can give you my stylist's number. 1.2913 0.05627 103 79 18 6
3097 Together there is no place we can't scratch 1.2911 0.06280 79 60 15 4
3098 My owner is a big DIY guy but some things you just can't learn over the internet. 1.2911 0.06016 79 59 17 3
3099 Lick what! 1.2911 0.06777 79 62 11 6
3100 It works great now, but it was a bitch to turn around! 1.2911 0.06777 79 62 11 6
3101 I call it the cone of self-control. 1.2911 0.05740 79 58 19 2
3102 For me, everything is a fashion statement. 1.2911 0.06280 79 60 15 4
3103 Trust me, there's less drag when you're chasing the ball. 1.2911 0.06016 79 59 17 3
3104 Keeps the fleas off your face. 1.2911 0.05740 79 58 19 2
3105 I just got my 2nd vaccine and I feel that life has opened up for me! 1.2911 0.06534 79 61 13 5
3106 Mine allows for heavy petting. 1.2911 0.05740 79 58 19 2
3107 I see you're still wearing last season's Elizabethan style. The new trend is pilgrim collar. 1.2911 0.06280 79 60 15 4
3108 I told you the wind was blowing East 1.2911 0.05740 79 58 19 2
3109 I’m lucky to be my master’s first dog. 1.2911 0.06534 79 61 13 5
3110 You should see my owner with IKEA directions. 1.2911 0.06777 79 62 11 6
3111 I'm a racing dog. 1.2911 0.06016 79 59 17 3
3112 Personally, I would rather not see what I can’t reach. 1.2911 0.06534 79 61 13 5
3113 Whoa, I've never seen an outie before! 1.2911 0.06016 79 59 17 3
3114 Oh yeah, well next they’ll be telling us to wear two cones. 1.2911 0.06016 79 59 17 3
3115 They put your cape on wrong! 1.2911 0.06280 79 60 15 4
3116 What’s that thing on your head? 1.2911 0.05740 79 58 19 2
3117 Frank, you've got it all backwards. 1.2907 0.05698 86 64 19 3
3118 Dude you got it on the wrong way, we'll never get in now 1.2907 0.06378 86 67 13 6
3119 My owner is a minister. 1.2907 0.05698 86 64 19 3
3120 I had a little work done. 1.2907 0.05933 86 65 17 4
3121 I've always hated my neck. What's your problem? 1.2907 0.06159 86 66 15 5
3122 He's a great vet. Just a little dyslexic. 1.2907 0.06159 86 66 15 5
3123 I graduated with honors. 1.2907 0.06793 86 69 9 8
3124 No, it doesn't.....but they don't know that. 1.2907 0.06159 86 66 15 5
3125 No more tunnel vision. 1.2907 0.06378 86 67 13 6
3126 I told the vet I was going for avant-gardog 1.2907 0.05933 86 65 17 4
3127 I’ve got connections. 1.2907 0.06159 86 66 15 5
3128 I told 'em it's my way or the highway. And guess what?! 1.2907 0.05698 86 64 19 3
3129 Cone half empty or cone half full, depends on how you look at it 1.2907 0.05698 86 64 19 3
3130 Anything needs to be chewed on or scratched, you let me know. 1.2907 0.05933 86 65 17 4
3131 You can run much faster this way, David 1.2907 0.05933 86 65 17 4
3132 My owner wears his mask like this, too 1.2907 0.06159 86 66 15 5
3133 And the best part is, the echo goes away. 1.2903 0.05634 93 70 19 4
3134 They don't care if I eat, they just wanted to stop my licking. 1.2903 0.05838 93 71 17 5
3135 Ruff...It's a fashion statement, not a medical problem. 1.2903 0.05423 93 69 21 3
3136 It’s more slimming this way, don’t you think? 1.2903 0.06226 93 73 13 7
3137 Hey, are you missing your balls too?" 1.2903 0.06411 93 74 11 8
3138 I bought the reversible model. 1.2903 0.05423 93 69 21 3
3139 This is how they’re wearing them in Florida. 1.2903 0.05634 93 70 19 4
3140 Elon prefers it to be more aerodynamic. 1.2900 0.05911 100 78 15 7
3141 You wouldn't believe how windy it is out there. 1.2899 0.07182 69 54 10 5
3142 Mine's an emotional support collar. 1.2899 0.06562 69 52 14 3
3143 How did you get through the top of the lamp ? 1.2899 0.06879 69 53 12 4
3144 Yes, but you're going to owe me, big time. 1.2899 0.06879 69 53 12 4
3145 It's hell when you shower. 1.2899 0.06229 69 51 16 2
3146 Really? Are you sure? 1.2899 0.05502 69 49 20 0
3147 There's no need to worry unless they attach a chain and stick a light bulb in your mouth. 1.2899 0.07473 69 55 8 6
3148 I’ll refer you to my insurance. 1.2899 0.06879 69 53 12 4
3149 What are you protecting? 1.2899 0.06562 69 52 14 3
3150 The stronger the wind, the better...Just face it, buddy! 1.2899 0.06879 69 53 12 4
3151 No, really, it’s just a lampshade. 1.2899 0.06879 69 53 12 4
3152 It's not a reversal, Darlene--it's a correction. 1.2899 0.06562 69 52 14 3
3153 By continuing to only accept the opinions that exist within your own echo chamber, you are denying the reality that you are, in fact, not a "good boy." 1.2899 0.06879 69 53 12 4
3154 Conefused 1.2899 0.06562 69 52 14 3
3155 It’s called fashion honey, look it up. 1.2899 0.06562 69 52 14 3
3156 It keeps my balls from licking me. 1.2897 0.05940 107 85 13 9
3157 Mine is German. We're talking less drag, and more downforce when I turn. 1.2895 0.06439 76 58 14 4
3158 On top of everything else, I end up with a dyslexic veterinarian. 1.2895 0.06439 76 58 14 4
3159 You look like Scooby Don't. 1.2895 0.06439 76 58 14 4
3160 You’re an innie and I’m an outie. 1.2895 0.05869 76 56 18 2
3161 No, YOU'RE not wearing it right. 1.2895 0.05562 76 55 20 1
3162 So I have cute ears. Why hide them? 1.2895 0.06160 76 57 16 3
3163 Well, depending on who's asking I either tell them it's for aerodynamics or it's my constitutional right. 1.2895 0.06439 76 58 14 4
3164 You can imagine my embarrassment when she showed up in the exact same outfit. 1.2895 0.06706 76 59 12 5
3165 Ha! I got a collar, you got a cone! 1.2895 0.06439 76 58 14 4
3166 I'm my own master 1.2895 0.06160 76 57 16 3
3167 You've got an "innie," I've got an "outie." 1.2895 0.06963 76 60 10 6
3168 Uh, yeah, my owner is dyslexic. 1.2895 0.06706 76 59 12 5
3169 Yes, I did just receive my second dose of the vaccination! How did you know? 1.2895 0.06160 76 57 16 3
3170 My human believes everything he reads on the internet. 1.2895 0.05562 76 55 20 1
3171 This is how they're wearing them in Paris. 1.2895 0.05869 76 56 18 2
3172 In the convent,we wear it like this. 1.2895 0.06963 76 60 10 6
3173 I know, I know... but I feel so much safer when I cross the street! 1.2895 0.06706 76 59 12 5
3174 I will scratch your back if you will scratch mine. 1.2895 0.06706 76 59 12 5
3175 It's much more comfortable this way not to mention aero and fashion forward. 1.2895 0.06439 76 58 14 4
3176 Just pull yourself inside out and the collar fits perfectly ! 1.2895 0.06160 76 57 16 3
3177 I used to wear mine like that but it's so yesterday 1.2895 0.05869 76 56 18 2
3178 Yeah, she's dyslexic. 1.2895 0.06706 76 59 12 5
3179 I find this direction is so much more slimming 1.2895 0.05869 76 56 18 2
3180 It’s for my Shakespeare audition. 1.2895 0.06706 76 59 12 5
3181 My vet is more of an honor system guy. 1.2895 0.06160 76 57 16 3
3182 I’ve never met an outie. I’m an innie, myself. 1.2895 0.06160 76 57 16 3
3183 Ever since Handmaid Tale came out they make me where it like this 1.2892 0.06306 83 64 14 5
3184 I know what you’re thinking... this dog can talk? 1.2892 0.06534 83 65 12 6
3185 I learned to think outside the cone. 1.2892 0.06068 83 63 16 4
3186 I see you're an introvert. 1.2892 0.06068 83 63 16 4
3187 Simple aerodynamics. 1.2892 0.05821 83 62 18 3
3188 Yeah, I wore mine like that too...until the first time I stuck my head out the car window. 1.2892 0.05821 83 62 18 3
3189 It's Dutch. 17th Century. 1.2892 0.06306 83 64 14 5
3190 At least you met your deductible. 1.2892 0.05821 83 62 18 3
3191 I got a note from my therapist about my 'clinically significant claustrophobia', so the vet was willing to work with me. 1.2892 0.06306 83 64 14 5
3192 My owner has ADHD. What’s YOUR problem? 1.2892 0.05821 83 62 18 3
3193 My human believes in reverse psychology. 1.2892 0.05563 83 61 20 2
3194 I guess this beats wearing a mask 1.2892 0.06068 83 63 16 4
3195 You gotta come up through the BOTTOM of the lamp. 1.2892 0.06306 83 64 14 5
3196 My owner? His name's Rembrandt, why do you ask? 1.2892 0.06306 83 64 14 5
3197 I’m updating my brand to include a line of Elizabethan chic 1.2892 0.06534 83 65 12 6
3198 It's something called "aerodynamics". 1.2892 0.06306 83 64 14 5
3199 Yeah, I know, but it makes me look so much cuter on Zoom! 1.2892 0.06306 83 64 14 5
3200 Susie despaired- it would be a long brunch. Yet another old friend lost to alternative health and conspiracy theory. 1.2892 0.06534 83 65 12 6
3201 I just think upturned collars look pretentious. 1.2892 0.05821 83 62 18 3
3202 The convertible --- 80 mph 1.2892 0.05563 83 61 20 2
3203 It was causing tunnel vision... 1.2892 0.05821 83 62 18 3
3204 Thanks for noticing, it's Gucci. 1.2892 0.06068 83 63 16 4
3205 My owner is an anti-masker. 1.2892 0.06306 83 64 14 5
3206 I prefer to think of myself as fashion forward 1.2892 0.06534 83 65 12 6
3207 It's all about perspective. Are you wearing your cone, or is it wearing you? 1.2892 0.06068 83 63 16 4
3208 Popping the collar is so 80's, Hal. 1.2892 0.05563 83 61 20 2
3209 I gotta say sometimes it works out in my favour that my master doesn’t read instructions. 1.2892 0.05821 83 62 18 3
3210 So I just run through the doggy door at full speed? 1.2892 0.06534 83 65 12 6
3211 I might not be going out with a bang but I'll go out with a wimple. 1.2889 0.06562 90 72 10 8
3212 Apparently, your master is more intelligent than mine. 1.2889 0.05964 90 69 16 5
3213 I just asked them! 1.2889 0.05529 90 67 20 3
3214 You'll get much better aerodynamics in this configuration. 1.2889 0.05058 90 65 24 1
3215 I suppose...but I'd rather see what's coming. 1.2889 0.06170 90 70 14 6
3216 I know. It doesn't make a lick of sense. 1.2889 0.05964 90 69 16 5
3217 How’s my ruff? 1.2889 0.06170 90 70 14 6
3218 Now they can't tell if we are coming or going 1.2889 0.05964 90 69 16 5
3219 I see your's is an "outie" ... Mine' s an "innie"! 1.2889 0.05299 90 66 22 2
3220 I got some blowback 1.2889 0.05964 90 69 16 5
3221 The new sport version has better aerodynamics 1.2889 0.05529 90 67 20 3
3222 I'm telling you Rufus! Go through the doggy door. It is worth the struggle. 1.2887 0.05855 97 75 16 6
3223 It sacrifices audio for speed. 1.2887 0.04851 97 70 26 1
3224 ...You went to a Vet? I got mine at Lamps R Us!.... 1.2887 0.05668 97 74 18 5
3225 I had one of those light bulb moments. 1.2887 0.05668 97 74 18 5
3226 I think you missed the lesson on aerodynamics 1.2887 0.05068 97 71 24 2
3227 The vet says my wound is inside my head. 1.2879 0.07406 66 52 9 5
3228 I followed the directions this time. 1.2879 0.06017 66 48 17 1
3229 My owners are very new age. 1.2879 0.07084 66 51 11 4
3230 I'm thinking of getting a second opinion. 1.2879 0.07084 66 51 11 4
3231 Mather. Cotton Mather. 1.2879 0.06747 66 50 13 3
3232 I can sniff a lot more butts this way. 1.2877 0.05680 73 53 19 1
3233 My master's not the sharpest stick in the woods. 1.2877 0.05680 73 53 19 1
3234 You just get tired of Fetch, Sit, Stay. 1.2877 0.06891 73 57 11 5
3235 The other dogs say it makes me look 21, maybe even 28 years younger. 1.2877 0.06006 73 57 13 3
3236 Tired of having it hanging over your head? Put it behind you. 1.2877 0.06609 73 56 13 4
3237 Gusty. 1.2877 0.06315 73 55 15 3
3238 I don't know, just started licking and came out the other side 1.2877 0.06891 73 57 11 5
3239 I'm kind of feeling a yin and yang thing. 1.2877 0.06891 73 57 11 5
3240 My drag coefficient is .3, what's yours? 1.2877 0.06315 73 55 15 3
3241 We call it a Ruff collar. 1.2877 0.06891 73 57 11 5
3242 My master isn't good with anything that requires some assembly 1.2877 0.06315 73 55 15 3
3243 I like to look up when it rains. 1.2877 0.06609 73 56 13 4
3244 I've been told this way is more slimming. 1.2877 0.06609 73 56 13 4
3245 ‚The Handmaid‘s Tale‘ totally spoilt it for me to wear it like that. 1.2877 0.06609 73 56 13 4
3246 If you give a dog a cone... 1.2877 0.06315 73 55 15 3
3247 I have my first show at New York fashion week next year 1.2877 0.06006 73 54 17 2
3248 Aerodynamically, this helps me get out of most social situations. 1.2877 0.06609 73 56 13 4
3249 My owner is a Priest. 1.2875 0.06462 80 62 13 5
3250 After two weeks in this thing, I find my food tastes better. 1.2875 0.05680 80 59 19 2
3251 The reception's not as good, but the aerodynamics are sweet! 1.2875 0.06702 80 63 11 6
3252 Mine's a lampshade, what about yours? 1.2875 0.06462 80 62 13 5
3253 You look like a lampshade, Rolf. 1.2875 0.05952 80 60 17 3
3254 Do you get profiled much in the neighborhood? 1.2875 0.06212 80 61 15 4
3255 It's from Iams' fall 2021 collection. 1.2875 0.06212 80 61 15 4
3256 Hey want to race? 1.2875 0.06702 80 63 11 6
3257 They finally realized it was just like a bullhorn. 1.2875 0.05952 80 60 17 3
3258 And my humans are wearing their masks as fanny packs. 1.2875 0.06462 80 62 13 5
3259 Trump is gone---time to turn things around! 1.2875 0.05952 80 60 17 3
3260 Dog bless you. 1.2875 0.06212 80 61 15 4
3261 peripheral vision and aerodynamics 1.2875 0.05952 80 60 17 3
3262 Come on, Buttercup! Everyone's doing it. 1.2875 0.05952 80 60 17 3
3263 I'll stay in touch. We can make this work, okay? 1.2875 0.06212 80 61 15 4
3264 It's a reversible. Just like Trump's executive orders. 1.2875 0.05952 80 60 17 3
3265 My owner says I have an innie! 1.2875 0.05952 80 60 17 3
3266 That was sooo last season. 1.2875 0.05952 80 60 17 3
3267 One day you’ll get your cape, too 1.2875 0.06212 80 61 15 4
3268 It’s called “fashion” Bruce 1.2875 0.06462 80 62 13 5
3269 ... I’m just a little inverted 1.2875 0.05952 80 60 17 3
3270 Because you're Catholic and I'm Lutheran. 1.2874 0.05874 87 66 17 4
3271 I can talk better and you can hear better so I guess we're even. 1.2874 0.05642 87 65 19 3
3272 Oh cool, you have an outie! I'm an innie. 1.2874 0.06097 87 67 15 5
3273 Damn,Rex! That's so last year. 1.2874 0.06313 87 68 13 6
3274 Oh yeah, I'm an outie! 1.2874 0.05987 87 69 12 6
3275 My owner calls mine an Innie - your's is an Outie. 1.2874 0.05874 87 66 17 4
3276 Nice to meet you sister Ann Marie, I'm a pilgrim. 1.2874 0.05874 87 66 17 4
3277 I say tomato, you say tomahto 1.2874 0.06313 87 68 13 6
3278 This cone helps me run faster. 1.2874 0.05642 87 65 19 3
3279 Well you can change the light bulbs next time 1.2874 0.06097 87 67 15 5
3280 I ate 3 lightbulbs. What about you 1.2874 0.06521 87 69 11 7
3281 Your perspective is so limited 1.2874 0.05400 87 64 21 2
3282 I accepted the shame and became Puritan. 1.2874 0.06521 87 69 11 7
3283 Yeah I got a HMO, why do you ask? 1.2874 0.05874 87 66 17 4
3284 It still works. Just don’t forget to wear sunscreen. 1.2874 0.06097 87 67 15 5
3285 Yeah, I snagged the newest model. Better aerodynamics. 1.2874 0.04880 87 67 17 3
3286 I can help you with that. 1.2872 0.05479 94 73 16 5
3287 I like to make a personal statement with my accessories. 1.2872 0.05978 94 73 15 6
3288 Think this will get him to stick the thermometer in my mouth? 1.2872 0.05583 94 71 19 4
3289 I've become a fashion influencer. 1.2872 0.05784 94 72 17 5
3290 No way man. Only cats still wear it like that. 1.2872 0.05583 94 71 19 4
3291 No. I'm a puritan. 1.2872 0.05978 94 73 15 6
3292 I still can’t reach my balls, but the wind doesn’t catch like it used to. 1.2872 0.05978 94 73 15 6
3293 You know it's reversible right? 1.2871 0.05511 101 77 19 5
3294 No, it’s not a gay thing 1.2870 0.05742 108 85 15 8
3295 I would tell you if it made you look fat." 1.2857 0.06366 77 59 14 4
3296 I'm having trouble getting used to PPE. 1.2857 0.05696 91 69 18 4
3297 No, you’re wearing a cone of shame. I’m wearing a skirt with a lot of starch. 1.2857 0.05507 84 62 20 2
3298 Popped collars are sooo ’80s. 1.2857 0.07307 63 49 10 4
3299 Mine's ceremonial! 1.2857 0.05502 77 56 20 1
3300 I prefer to think outside the cone. 1.2857 0.06948 63 48 12 3
3301 Hey! You're concave, I'm convex! Let's have a conclave! 1.2857 0.06481 70 53 14 3
3302 Try it. It’s good for peripheral vision. 1.2857 0.06153 70 52 16 2
3303 My name's Pilgrim--what's yours? 1.2857 0.05427 98 74 20 4
3304 It's inspired by how older guys wear their COVID masks. 1.2857 0.06366 77 59 14 4
3305 Look at you! It must be really windy outside! 1.2857 0.06091 77 58 16 3
3306 It's a lot easier smellin' butts at the park. 1.2857 0.05696 91 69 18 4
3307 Ginsburg, Ruth Bader Ginsburg, get it? 1.2857 0.06366 77 59 14 4
3308 I call it a docking collar. 1.2857 0.06153 70 52 16 2
3309 Can you lick yourself anywhere? 1.2857 0.05438 70 55 12 3
3310 So there i was, looking down on the subway grate and suddenly i can lick anywhere i want again. You should try it. 1.2857 0.05761 84 63 18 3
3311 I think it makes me look slimmer this way. 1.2857 0.06005 84 64 16 4
3312 My owners are not very bright, but they mean well. 1.2857 0.06366 77 59 14 4
3313 Are we the ying and the yang of the cone heads? 1.2857 0.05477 91 68 20 3
3314 Very few dogs have the profile to wear it this way. 1.2857 0.06005 84 64 16 4
3315 That is so yesterday. 1.2857 0.05761 84 63 18 3
3316 It's sleek and stylish, yet still prevents me from licking my balls. 1.2857 0.06629 77 60 12 5
3317 I can show my face in public again! 1.2857 0.06481 70 53 14 3
3318 Hey! I've got an innie and you have an outie! 1.2857 0.06091 77 58 16 3
3319 I learned in obedience school to reverse the paradigm. 1.2857 0.06005 84 64 16 4
3320 Does this mean I'm greater than or lesser than you? 1.2857 0.06366 77 59 14 4
3321 It’s all about perspective. 1.2857 0.06465 84 66 12 6
3322 'The cone of shame? Mine's the cone of aerodynamic flight. Either that or they think I'm a Pilgrim.' 1.2857 0.06629 77 60 12 5
3323 Sure it’s better, but still can’t lick my balls. 1.2857 0.06882 77 61 10 6
3324 It makes no sense, but it's trending 1.2857 0.05477 91 68 20 3
3325 It's not all bad having an owner with dyslexia. 1.2857 0.05507 84 62 20 2
3326 It's supposed to be windy later. 1.2857 0.05477 91 68 20 3
3327 Honestly Sister, wearing the veil is no longer mandatory! 1.2857 0.06005 84 64 16 4
3328 You may be louder, but I can run faster the way I wear it. 1.2857 0.06239 84 65 14 5
3329 I still can't lick my butt, but I'm much more aerodynamic. 1.2857 0.06167 63 46 16 1
3330 Ever since the divorce, Dad has been trying to win me over. 1.2857 0.06793 70 54 12 4
3331 Yes, I can run faster, but the reception is worse. 1.2857 0.06481 70 53 14 3
3332 I still can’t lick the important parts! 1.2857 0.06306 91 72 12 7
3333 You should have seen me in pants! 1.2857 0.05696 91 69 18 4
3334 Did you flunk out of aerodynamics class? 1.2857 0.06239 84 65 14 5
3335 So, I peed on her new shoes again... 1.2857 0.05618 98 75 18 5
3336 You won’t believe my mpg! 1.2857 0.07091 70 55 10 5
3337 Well I’m not doctor, but at least I can see your nuts 1.2857 0.05761 84 63 18 3
3338 Free to scratch Free to scratch Thank God Almighty I'm free to scratch! 1.2857 0.06239 84 65 14 5
3339 Hey, at least I can still lick my balls. 1.2857 0.06882 77 61 10 6
3340 No,THIS is how you wear it this spring 1.2857 0.06005 84 64 16 4
3341 I find it’s more slimming if I wear it this way... 1.2857 0.05250 91 67 22 2
3342 This is my Zoom look. 1.2857 0.06005 84 64 16 4
3343 I’m hoping it makes me look slimmer. 1.2857 0.06005 84 64 16 4
3344 Yeah, I've always preferred more of a buttoned down look, not that stand-up preppy look! 1.2857 0.06005 84 64 16 4
3345 It's all in who you know... 1.2857 0.05906 91 70 16 5
3346 My owner doesn't wear a mask, either. 1.2857 0.05477 91 68 20 3
3347 Dude, it’s not the eighties, pull down your collar! 1.2857 0.06481 70 53 14 3
3348 Then a big gust of wind came up..... 1.2857 0.06366 77 59 14 4
3349 It's not the only thing that's backwards. My owner thinks I'm a god. 1.2857 0.06682 91 74 8 9
3350 It’s the Edwardian version. 1.2857 0.05502 77 56 20 1
3351 This is much more aerodynamic. 1.2857 0.05618 98 75 18 5
3352 This model diminishes wind resistance and improves chase speed. 1.2857 0.06895 84 68 8 8
3353 Elizabethan-style is so 2020. 1.2857 0.06366 77 59 14 4
3354 It’s called fashion, Brenda. 1.2857 0.07126 77 62 8 7
3355 You remind me of a 1949 Studebaker. 1.2857 0.05618 98 75 18 5
3356 Heads I win, tails you lose. 1.2857 0.06153 70 52 16 2
3357 Careful. It's windy out there. 1.2857 0.06167 63 46 16 1
3358 Granted, he's a mediocre vet, but he's very style conscious. 1.2857 0.05804 77 57 18 2
3359 Actually it works much better with my hearing aids. 1.2857 0.06091 77 58 16 3
3360 Sister Muffin -- what did you think of Father Fido's sermon this morning? 1.2857 0.07091 70 55 10 5
3361 Look at the bright side. Either way we can still sniff each other's butts. 1.2857 0.06629 77 60 12 5
3362 I learned it at disobedience school. 1.2857 0.06629 77 60 12 5
3363 It's much more slimming worn like this. 1.2857 0.05696 91 69 18 4
3364 It maybe less effective, but it’s important to make a statement. 1.2857 0.05696 91 69 18 4
3365 My human made me aerodynamic. What did yours do? 1.2857 0.05761 84 63 18 3
3366 The 1590s called. They want their ruff back. 1.2857 0.05507 84 62 20 2
3367 Dude, for the last time, it goes over your nose. 1.2857 0.05696 91 69 18 4
3368 My owner loves rules but hates follow through 1.2857 0.06091 77 58 16 3
3369 It’s called personal liberty, Doug 1.2857 0.05906 91 70 16 5
3370 They said it’d make me go faster, Fred. Stop staring! 1.2857 0.05618 98 75 18 5
3371 Lamp dogs 1.2857 0.06882 77 61 10 6
3372 Cone or cape? It’s up to you Rufus. Life is about choices. 1.2857 0.07653 70 57 6 7
3373 Maybe you were licking a different part. 1.2843 0.05808 102 80 15 7
3374 I'm much happier since I stopped being a slave to fashion. 1.2843 0.05808 102 80 15 7
3375 See, you can completely turn things around just by changing your attitude. 1.2843 0.05973 102 81 13 8
3376 Shakespeare’s dog speaks with a troubled friend. 1.2843 0.05283 102 77 21 4
3377 He was in the space program, but not a rocket scientist. 1.2843 0.04902 102 75 25 2
3378 You should call my tailor. 1.2842 0.05731 95 73 17 5
3379 I'm not ashamed to lick my wounds. 1.2842 0.05731 95 73 17 5
3380 I prefer a rocket ship to a satellite dish. 1.2842 0.05532 95 72 19 4
3381 Where did you take your vows? 1.2842 0.05532 95 72 19 4
3382 If you go to my vet you'll have a better outlook on life! 1.2842 0.05325 95 71 21 3
3383 Yours may be better for sniffing, but I get better satellite reception 1.2842 0.05532 95 72 19 4
3384 You've seriously never met an 'outie' before? 1.2842 0.05731 95 73 17 5
3385 So I figured what the heck--I can shave a few seconds off reaching the mailman. 1.2842 0.05532 95 72 19 4
3386 Sooooooooo windy. 1.2842 0.05325 95 71 21 3
3387 Are you on a diet? 1.2842 0.05532 95 72 19 4
3388 We opted to go with the more ergonomic model. Really cuts down on wind resistance. 1.2842 0.05532 95 72 19 4
3389 I’m curious. Does your owner have dyslexia? 1.2842 0.05532 95 72 19 4
3390 !fooW” 1.2841 0.05816 88 67 17 4
3391 We're from Australia. 1.2841 0.04835 88 68 17 3
3392 Be careful with narrow doorways. 1.2841 0.06036 88 68 15 5
3393 Mine’s aerodynamic. 1.2841 0.05587 88 66 19 3
3394 Okay, now you play the nun and I’ll be the priest. 1.2841 0.05587 88 66 19 3
3395 Yeah, but you can still pick up ESPN. 1.2841 0.05816 88 67 17 4
3396 I know it's been embarrassing for decades, but if you wear it ironically everyone will think it's stylish. 1.2841 0.05816 88 67 17 4
3397 The Handmaid’s look went out with Trump. 1.2841 0.06036 88 68 15 5
3398 au contraire, mon frère! 1.2841 0.05816 88 67 17 4
3399 Well I saw this on TikTok and thought maybe I could pull it off. 1.2841 0.06036 88 68 15 5
3400 Yeah, I got the big race coming up this week and want to go with something a bit more aerodynamic. 1.2841 0.05587 88 66 19 3
3401 i have asthma, so im exempt 1.2841 0.06455 88 70 11 7
3402 My vet says it’s reversible 1.2841 0.05816 88 67 17 4
3403 I’ve always heard opposites attract... 1.2841 0.05587 88 66 19 3
3404 I am an innie and you are a outie 1.2841 0.05816 88 67 17 4
3405 It’s different for girls. 1.2840 0.05889 81 61 17 3
3406 Don't be alarmed. I'm you from the future and boy do we have things to talk about. 1.2840 0.05889 81 61 17 3
3407 Yeah, it's more aerodynamic. 1.2840 0.06391 81 63 13 5
3408 I just dove headfirst into a trash can, as one does." 1.2840 0.05889 81 61 17 3
3409 Swallow your pride! You need hearing aids. 1.2840 0.06018 81 64 12 5
3410 I still can't lick anything, but I'm much faster. 1.2840 0.06391 81 63 13 5
3411 Pretend to scratch your shoulder. It worked for me. 1.2840 0.06628 81 64 11 6
3412 I think I'm in love. 1.2840 0.06145 81 62 15 4
3413 I know it doesn't work as well, but at least I am not picking up all those strange signals from outer space. 1.2840 0.06145 81 62 15 4
3414 It's more fetching this way. 1.2840 0.06145 81 62 15 4
3415 ...AND it's more aerodynamic, in case they put the car window down for you. 1.2840 0.05889 81 61 17 3
3416 It makes me look thinner. 1.2840 0.06628 81 64 11 6
3417 My doc's progressive. She calls it my cone of FAME. 1.2840 0.06391 81 63 13 5
3418 Still popping your collar? It's not 2005 anymore, dog. 1.2840 0.06145 81 62 15 4
3419 Wonder why they gave me an innie and you an outie? 1.2840 0.05889 81 61 17 3
3420 Mine came with ice cream. Did yours? 1.2840 0.06391 81 63 13 5
3421 Mine's just a lamp shade. 1.2840 0.05889 81 61 17 3
3422 Well,my master wears his cap backwards and he looks cool..so I figured why not? 1.2840 0.06391 81 63 13 5
3423 No yours is on wrong and that makes you a domestic terrorist! 1.2840 0.06628 81 64 11 6
3424 I’m going for the Puritan look. 1.2840 0.05620 81 60 19 2
3425 I never felt as though I was going to get ahead with the other model. 1.2840 0.05620 81 60 19 2
3426 I'm part border collie, part coastal elite. 1.2840 0.05620 81 60 19 2
3427 Practice your "sad eyes". 1.2840 0.05620 81 60 19 2
3428 Is that -“ “The Chanel Cone? Yeah. 1.2840 0.05889 81 61 17 3
3429 I am sensing hostility. Is my transitioning making you uncomfortable, Todd? 1.2840 0.05620 81 60 19 2
3430 As it turns out, my vet drinks a little bit. 1.2840 0.06391 81 63 13 5
3431 If worn correctly, this neck brace could do wonders for your posture! 1.2838 0.06808 74 58 11 5
3432 I went skydiving this morning. 1.2838 0.06241 74 56 15 3
3433 Newton Dog's first rule: "For every cone there is an opposite and equal cone." 1.2838 0.05937 74 55 17 2
3434 If you run as fast as the mailman...check out what happens! 1.2838 0.05616 74 54 19 1
3435 But Mom, all the cool pups are wearing it this way! 1.2838 0.06241 74 56 15 3
3436 Yeah, my owner doesn't believe in vaccines or wearing masks. Why do you ask? 1.2838 0.06808 74 58 11 5
3437 My vet still wears his baseball cap backwards. 1.2838 0.05937 74 55 17 2
3438 It makes sense, aerodynamically, and I can see where I'm going, too. 1.2838 0.06808 74 58 11 5
3439 We compromised, I still can't lick my sutures but my peripheral vision is restored. 1.2838 0.07075 74 59 9 6
3440 ...the thing is, it works either way. Just doesn't make you look so stupid. 1.2838 0.05937 74 55 17 2
3441 I upgraded to the cone of fame! 1.2838 0.06241 74 56 15 3
3442 What convent did you say you're with? 1.2838 0.05616 74 54 19 1
3443 It's really helping with wind resistance 1.2838 0.06808 74 58 11 5
3444 I'm sorry. I'm just not attracted to conformists. 1.2838 0.06808 74 58 11 5
3445 Wow, you have an outie, they gave me an “iney !” 1.2836 0.06311 67 50 15 2
3446 Next time, just tell them that you’re claustrophobic! 1.2836 0.07307 67 53 9 5
3447 They can make me wear this stupid cone, but I'll wear it upside down and backward if I damn well please. 1.2836 0.07610 67 54 7 6
3448 It’s just a matter of perspective 1.2836 0.06311 67 50 15 2
3449 No spike, that’s how the government wants you to wear it! 1.2836 0.06991 67 52 11 4
3450 My owner's dyslexia manifest itself in unusual ways -- not that I'm complaining. 1.2833 0.06761 60 45 13 2
3451 OK, but I see it a little differently. 1.2833 0.06330 60 44 15 1
3452 Some kid on TikTok said this is how Gen Z wears them. 1.2833 0.07167 60 46 11 3
3453 Mine's good because I can still stick my head out the car window. 1.2828 0.05185 99 74 22 3
3454 I know I look like an idiot but I can still lick my butt! 1.2828 0.05380 99 75 20 4
3455 Faux Paw 1.2828 0.05185 99 74 22 3
3456 My owner is left handed 1.2828 0.05750 99 77 16 6
3457 I'll be the superhero and you be the doggie in distress. 1.2826 0.05850 92 71 16 5
3458 My owner calls it the cone of pride. 1.2826 0.05202 92 68 22 2
3459 It’s called fashion, sweetie. 1.2826 0.05642 92 70 18 4
3460 I'm a nun. What's your story? 1.2826 0.05202 92 68 22 2
3461 I've heard it's all the rage at Westminster. 1.2826 0.05642 92 70 18 4
3462 I knew we were meant for each other! 1.2826 0.06051 92 72 14 6
3463 Cones of shame are out, habits of pride are in! 1.2826 0.05426 92 69 20 3
3464 It's a more slimming look, I guess. 1.2824 0.05452 85 63 20 2
3465 Yea but my way facilitates the butt sniffing 1.2824 0.05944 85 65 16 4
3466 No, no, mine's a fashion statement. 1.2824 0.06613 85 68 10 7
3467 This is way more aerodynamic. 1.2824 0.06175 85 66 14 5
3468 You may hear better but I bet I can run faster! 1.2824 0.05944 85 65 16 4
3469 Wow, it's windy out there. 1.2824 0.05944 85 65 16 4
3470 It was made in China and came with instructions written in Chinese. 1.2824 0.05703 85 64 18 3
3471 No Bengy, I'm going as a pilgrim. 1.2824 0.05703 85 64 18 3
3472 My person is dyslexic. 1.2824 0.05703 85 64 18 3
3473 We were just greeting one another, like you do, and then he farted... 1.2824 0.05703 85 64 18 3
3474 You need whimpering lessons. I got a guy. 1.2824 0.05944 85 65 16 4
3475 My vet believes in peripheral vision 1.2824 0.05944 85 65 16 4
3476 I'd say we have a classic case of fashion vs. function. 1.2824 0.05944 85 65 16 4
3477 I got lucky, my humans were drunk. 1.2824 0.05703 85 64 18 3
3478 It's my pug costume. You can't tell if I'm coming or going. 1.2824 0.06175 85 66 14 5
3479 Since Vatican II our order has modernized. 1.2824 0.06398 85 67 12 6
3480 A good sneeze will do it...... 1.2824 0.06175 85 66 14 5
3481 Who’s your buddy now? 1.2824 0.05189 85 62 22 1
3482 I wasn’t expecting this either when I heard doggy style. 1.2824 0.06175 85 66 14 5
3483 No—you have it on wrong. 1.2824 0.05944 85 65 16 4
3484 Unlike you, I’ve always been a non-coneformist. 1.2824 0.06175 85 66 14 5
3485 I just ran really fast. 1.2824 0.06613 85 68 10 7
3486 No, this is just the way we're wearing them in mid-town Manhattan this year. 1.2824 0.06175 85 66 14 5
3487 I don't think this is what they mean by "male" or "female". 1.2824 0.05944 85 65 16 4
3488 Republican? - Yes, my collar doesn't allow me to see anything but what's in front of me! 1.2824 0.06398 85 67 12 6
3489 You can get into Mensa if you figure it out. 1.2824 0.05322 85 65 17 3
3490 I’m widening my perspective. 1.2824 0.05944 85 65 16 4
3491 At least we can still kiss 1.2824 0.05944 85 65 16 4
3492 It’s considered a white collar crime 1.2824 0.05452 85 63 20 2
3493 What can I say? My owner is a mohel. 1.2824 0.06613 85 68 10 7
3494 I’m your father. 1.2821 0.06294 78 60 14 4
3495 He owns a cheap umbrella too. 1.2821 0.05741 78 58 18 2
3496 I've found I like it for its aerodynamic qualities. 1.2821 0.06294 78 60 14 4
3497 My bark looks better than your bite. 1.2821 0.06554 78 61 12 5
3498 I thought it gave me kind of an RBG vibe 1.2821 0.06024 78 59 16 3
3499 Anyway, the key lesson is this: stay out of wind tunnels. 1.2821 0.06024 78 59 16 3
3500 It makes me more aerodynamic this way. 1.2821 0.06803 78 62 10 6
3501 Sorry Max, I already went as a radar dish. This year, I'm a rocket! 1.2821 0.06294 78 60 14 4
3502 I knew when he put the IKEA cabinet together I was going to be okay 1.2821 0.06554 78 61 12 5
3503 Fashion week: Who wore it best? 1.2821 0.06294 78 60 14 4
3504 “Of course you can ask — but the answer is no.” 1.2821 0.06294 78 60 14 4
3505 Ok. But I can hear when they’re about to take my temperature. 1.2821 0.06554 78 61 12 5
3506 aerodynamic and scares hell out of the mailman... 1.2821 0.06294 78 60 14 4
3507 The way I see it, you can either do easy time, or you can do hard time. 1.2821 0.05443 78 57 20 1
3508 My vet is smarter than yours! 1.2821 0.06294 78 60 14 4
3509 You should try it! The aerodynamics are much better. 1.2821 0.06294 78 60 14 4
3510 On the bright side, your human probably knows which way the car seat goes. 1.2821 0.06803 78 62 10 6
3511 “Cut it out Sophie. I know you can hear me.” 1.2821 0.06024 78 59 16 3
3512 Well, my vet is kind of avant-garde. 1.2821 0.06024 78 59 16 3
3513 My bark is less than my bite. 1.2821 0.06294 78 60 14 4
3514 I got lucky with their choice of a vet. 1.2821 0.06554 78 61 12 5
3515 It's the Pilgrim look. I wear it for Thanksgiving. 1.2821 0.06294 78 60 14 4
3516 You won't believe who I had to go through. 1.2821 0.05443 78 57 20 1
3517 It's a squirrel guard! 1.2821 0.06024 78 59 16 3
3518 The pandemic has changed everything. 1.2821 0.06294 78 60 14 4
3519 is this that ying and yang thing???? 1.2821 0.06294 78 60 14 4
3520 Just walk through a narrow doorway; then at least you'll be able to drink from the toilet. 1.2821 0.06554 78 61 12 5
3521 'Tis better to be seen than to be heard! 1.2821 0.06024 78 59 16 3
3522 I'm a third child. 1.2817 0.06401 71 54 14 3
3523 Hi, I'm Rusty, and I'm a tail-chasing addict. 1.2817 0.06079 71 53 16 2
3524 Nah, it's purely aesthetic. 1.2817 0.05738 71 52 18 1
3525 So you are Republican. 1.2817 0.06708 71 55 12 4
3526 Nah, no surgery. I just got back from this wild party though. 1.2817 0.06401 71 54 14 3
3527 The vet didn't have her reading glasses on, and I sure wasn't going to tell her. 1.2817 0.06708 71 55 12 4
3528 It's a lifestyle choice. 1.2817 0.06079 71 53 16 2
3529 When life gives you the cone of shame, just turn it into a lamp shade and become the life of the party! 1.2817 0.06401 71 54 14 3
3530 Hi! Are you coming or going? 1.2817 0.07284 71 57 8 6
3531 It may not be stylish but it is functional. 1.2817 0.06079 71 55 13 3
3532 They reversed mine. They told me I've been a good dogie. 1.2817 0.07002 71 56 10 5
3533 One word Buddy, "Aerodynamics". 1.2817 0.06401 71 54 14 3
3534 I see your woofer is also a receiver. 1.2817 0.06401 71 54 14 3
3535 My vet is a pilgrim. 1.2817 0.06401 71 54 14 3
3536 This mirror doesn't seem quite right 1.2817 0.06708 71 55 12 4
3537 It’s better than a mask. 1.2817 0.05376 71 51 20 0
3538 I'll lick your wound if you luck mine. 1.2812 0.07206 64 50 10 4
3539 I think I cracked the system. 1.2812 0.05278 96 72 21 3
3540 It turns out this works just as well....I'm thinking class action lawsuit. 1.2812 0.05066 96 71 23 2
3541 I’m an anti-coner. 1.2812 0.05868 96 75 15 6
3542 I'm more of a Victorian dog myself 1.2812 0.05678 96 74 17 5
3543 You know, they're just trying to control you. 1.2812 0.05678 96 74 17 5
3544 I go to Reformed Veterinary... nice, huh? 1.2812 0.05868 96 75 15 6
3545 The vet calls it "post-Elizabethan." 1.2812 0.04613 96 69 27 0
3546 You blow me away! 1.2812 0.05278 96 72 21 3
3547 It may not work as well, but it’s more aerodynamic 1.2812 0.07206 64 50 10 4
3548 Does my voice seem louder?" 1.2812 0.05868 96 75 15 6
3549 I still can't reach my butt, but at least I feel more like the old me. 1.2812 0.05678 96 74 17 5
3550 We called it a compromise 1.2812 0.07206 64 50 10 4
3551 *foow* *foow* 1.2809 0.05533 89 67 19 3
3552 It doesn't help my psoriasis but I can see better. 1.2809 0.05977 89 69 15 5
3553 Ron, you look ridiculous 1.2809 0.05759 89 68 17 4
3554 You're still on the iCone 6? 1.2809 0.05759 89 68 17 4
3555 Two weeks after your second shot you’ll be able to invert it . 1.2809 0.06187 89 70 13 6
3556 Isee you got your ears done,I just got my nails done. 1.2809 0.05977 89 69 15 5
3557 Yes, wearing it that way does make you look slimmer. 1.2809 0.05533 89 67 19 3
3558 I am all ears! 1.2809 0.05759 89 68 17 4
3559 Can I chase your tail, they won't let me chase mine. 1.2809 0.05977 89 69 15 5
3560 I miss the megaphone. 1.2809 0.05759 89 68 17 4
3561 It all started when he was trying to install an Ikea lampshade 1.2809 0.06390 89 71 11 7
3562 It's a lampshade! I'm just messing with you. 1.2809 0.05533 89 67 19 3
3563 The Fashion Forward Funnel? You MUST try the Reverse Redux Rain-Pr(w)oofer 1.2809 0.05977 89 69 15 5
3564 If you want to discuss what happened, you are welcome at confession on Sunday. 1.2809 0.06187 89 70 13 6
3565 We could still do doggy style. 1.2809 0.05977 89 69 15 5
3566 We just don’t see things the same way. 1.2809 0.05759 89 68 17 4
3567 ... So I said to the vet: You can't make me wear that thing. It's my constitutional right not to have to breathe my own carbon dioxide... 1.2809 0.05977 89 69 15 5
3568 It's topsy-turvy day at obedience school. 1.2809 0.05533 89 67 19 3
3569 Hemorrhoidectomy. You? 1.2809 0.05759 89 68 17 4
3570 It’s backwards 1.2809 0.05759 89 68 17 4
3571 This is how the kids are wearing it 1.2809 0.05297 89 66 21 2
3572 It’s called fashion Fred, try to keep up 1.2809 0.05297 89 66 21 2
3573 Mine is more fetching. 1.2809 0.05297 89 66 21 2
3574 An influencer has to take fashion risks. 1.2805 0.05285 82 60 21 1
3575 I'll race ya. 1.2805 0.06556 82 65 11 6
3576 Oh come on! We're a perfect fit! 1.2805 0.05562 82 61 19 2
3577 I'm not sure why but I can run so much faster this way. 1.2805 0.05562 82 61 19 2
3578 The tinnitus has cleared up but the leg chafe is killing me. 1.2805 0.06079 82 63 15 4
3579 I kept trying to tell him; it’s a hearing aid, not a Marvel costume! 1.2805 0.05562 82 61 19 2
3580 Mine is a cone of loudness 1.2805 0.06079 82 63 15 4
3581 If you push your muzzle into the right size pot the damn thing flips back. 1.2805 0.06079 82 63 15 4
3582 AND I’m more aerodynamic.” 1.2805 0.06556 82 65 11 6
3583 It’s supposed to be ironically dysfunctional. 1.2805 0.06556 82 65 11 6
3584 That's what I call an upward dog 1.2805 0.05562 82 61 19 2
3585 Mine’s the Jamestown version. 1.2805 0.06079 82 63 15 4
3586 I've picked up 5mph on my chasing cars game" 1.2805 0.05562 82 61 19 2
3587 What can I say? They are non-conformists. 1.2805 0.06079 82 63 15 4
3588 I'm pushing back against the Cone of Shame. 1.2805 0.06079 82 63 15 4
3589 No, of course it doesn't make you look fat! 1.2805 0.06322 82 64 13 5
3590 Improved hearing is good, but I can run 20% faster. 1.2805 0.06079 82 63 15 4
3591 That style is so seven months ago in dog years. 1.2805 0.05827 82 62 17 3
3592 Yeah, so. I can't lick my genitals, either. 1.2805 0.06079 82 63 15 4
3593 It's to show solidarity with my anti-masker owner. 1.2805 0.06079 82 63 15 4
3594 Good morning, I am Aero Dynamic! 1.2805 0.06079 82 63 15 4
3595 I can't believe I used to miss hearing myself think. 1.2805 0.06322 82 64 13 5
3596 As a man of the collar, I love your bonnet! 1.2805 0.05827 82 62 17 3
3597 I found the 'Handmaid' style a bit restrictive, but it looks really good on you though. 1.2805 0.05696 82 64 14 4
3598 Ready to party? 1.2805 0.06079 82 63 15 4
3599 I can still lick. I just can’t lick THAT. 1.2805 0.06322 82 64 13 5
3600 Your doctor has a better sense of humor than mine 1.2805 0.05562 82 61 19 2
3601 Now I just wear it for fashion. 1.2805 0.06782 82 66 9 7
3602 I have a lot of emotional walls up...so this way is easier 1.2805 0.05827 82 62 17 3
3603 Aye bro can you scratch my back? 1.2800 0.05869 75 56 17 2
3604 This is how they're wearing it in Paris now. 1.2800 0.05519 100 77 18 5
3605 Facing in means you're taken. 1.2800 0.06169 75 57 15 3
3606 Not only do you look like an extra from The Hand Maids Tale, you can't even lick yourself. 1.2800 0.06169 75 57 15 3
3607 My contract terms are very specific. 1.2800 0.05869 75 56 17 2
3608 You need to think outside the cone, Bailey 1.2800 0.06454 75 58 13 4
3609 I opted for the sports package. 1.2800 0.05869 75 56 17 2
3610 Well, one of us looks less ridiculous. 1.2800 0.06169 75 57 15 3
3611 It keeps my butt from licking me. 1.2800 0.06454 75 58 13 4
3612 Can you pick up satellites with that thing? 1.2800 0.06454 75 58 13 4
3613 It's called fashion, Doug. Look it up. 1.2800 0.05869 75 56 17 2
3614 You like to chase cars? Believe me, you'll notice the difference. 1.2800 0.06728 75 59 11 5
3615 I guess my owner loves me more. 1.2800 0.05869 75 56 17 2
3616 I'm a nonconfirmist 1.2800 0.06454 75 58 13 4
3617 I find it to be more efficient at shedding my regret. 1.2800 0.05869 75 56 17 2
3618 Dude, you got it all wrong. This way it creates less drag bro. 1.2800 0.05554 75 55 19 1
3619 And I bet next you’re gonna tell my humans they have their masks on wrong too. 1.2800 0.06454 75 58 13 4
3620 It works the same, but its less embarrassing. 1.2796 0.05590 93 71 18 4
3621 After some discussion, the vet and I agreed this was much more aerodynamic. 1.2796 0.05590 93 71 18 4
3622 Bob didn't read the directions 1.2796 0.06185 93 74 12 7
3623 Are you ready for confession? 1.2796 0.05590 93 71 18 4
3624 Actually, it's part of my re-entry gear. 1.2796 0.05376 93 70 20 3
3625 Apparently I was the life of the party! 1.2796 0.06552 93 76 8 9
3626 I'm not injured, just aerodynamic. 1.2796 0.05795 93 72 16 5
3627 My owner’s Danish 1.2796 0.05376 93 70 20 3
3628 Then I said ‘but make it fashion’ 1.2796 0.05795 93 72 16 5
3629 It helps with the social distancing. 1.2794 0.06231 68 51 15 2
3630 My master is an anti-coner. 1.2794 0.06231 68 51 15 2
3631 Well, then, we'll just have to agree to disagree. 1.2794 0.07211 68 54 9 5
3632 Mine's a sillycone collar. 1.2794 0.06231 68 51 15 2
3633 I just hope I’m not making some dreadful fashion faux paw! 1.2794 0.07211 68 54 9 5
3634 I think it’s slimming this way. 1.2794 0.06900 68 53 11 4
3635 Aerodynamically speaking, mine is more sound; sonically, yours is. 1.2794 0.06900 68 53 11 4
3636 I'm trying a new look 1.2794 0.06574 68 52 13 3
3637 My human's trying to make me go viral. 1.2794 0.06231 68 51 15 2
3638 . “Well, at least my lampshade goes the right way.” 1.2794 0.06900 68 53 11 4
3639 ‘Come here, i need you to do something for me.’ 1.2794 0.06900 68 53 11 4
3640 The mask goes OVER your owner’s nose and the cone goes OVER your head. 1.2794 0.06574 68 52 13 3
3641 I bet I could beat you in a race. 1.2791 0.05139 86 63 22 1
3642 I got the first vaccine. 1.2791 0.05883 86 66 16 4
3643 This way fetch is more likely to happen. 1.2791 0.06111 86 67 14 5
3644 This is how they wear it in Paris. 1.2791 0.05398 86 64 20 2
3645 I’ll chew yours if you’d chew mine. 1.2791 0.06750 86 70 8 8
3646 Just Google ‘Cone Hacks’! 1.2791 0.05646 86 65 18 3
3647 I just ran really fast through the doggie door. 1.2791 0.06331 86 68 12 6
3648 I've got an "outie". You've got an "innie". 1.2791 0.05398 86 64 20 2
3649 My person never lets dyslexia hold him back. 1.2791 0.06331 86 68 12 6
3650 Turns out my veterinarian has dyslexia 1.2791 0.05883 86 66 16 4
3651 If you Scratch my back, I’ll Lick yours... 1.2791 0.05883 86 66 16 4
3652 Yeah,your way sucks. But imaging living with the dope who did mine! 1.2791 0.06331 86 68 12 6
3653 It doesn't really change anything, but its been a nice conversation starter. 1.2791 0.06111 86 67 14 5
3654 A case of the tail wagging the dog, is all they would tell me. 1.2791 0.06111 86 67 14 5
3655 It’s the pressure... 1.2791 0.05646 86 65 18 3
3656 It’s called an ENOC. So backwards, man 1.2791 0.05646 86 65 18 3
3657 Well, I don’t care if he’s smart, he’s still my best friend. 1.2791 0.05883 86 66 16 4
3658 No, I have no shame. 1.2788 0.06027 104 84 11 9
3659 In addition to the fashion aspect, there is also an aerodynamic advantage 1.2788 0.05012 104 78 23 3
3660 windy today but it worth it! 1.2787 0.07441 61 48 9 4
3661 Dude. Just flip it and YOU are farting in their face. 1.2785 0.06480 79 62 12 5
3662 The wind at the beach was not to be believed! 1.2785 0.05958 79 60 16 3
3663 Yeah Lucky me My humans are,'t that smart 1.2785 0.05958 79 60 16 3
3664 Here at Ruffr, we're flipping the cone industry on its head. Same result, new style: investors are very interested! 1.2785 0.06224 79 61 14 4
3665 Hello, I'm Pilgrim. 1.2785 0.06224 79 61 14 4
3666 Yin? It’s Yang. 1.2785 0.05958 79 60 16 3
3667 It looks like we're a perfect fit. 1.2785 0.06480 79 62 12 5
3668 I’m anti-vax too. 1.2785 0.06224 79 61 14 4
3669 Oh my gosh,that was so last year. 1.2785 0.06224 79 61 14 4
3670 I'm telling you, not only do I hear better, I am wind resistant! 1.2785 0.06480 79 62 12 5
3671 But I am wearing my mask! 1.2785 0.06224 79 61 14 4
3672 Wearing an echo chamber must really suck when all they say is no. 1.2785 0.05679 79 59 18 2
3673 I could bite you but I wont...just sayin 1.2785 0.06480 79 62 12 5
3674 My audiologist said this may help. 1.2785 0.05679 79 59 18 2
3675 What's the hood like in your part of town? 1.2785 0.06224 79 61 14 4
3676 And I only had to squeeze through the cat door six times! 1.2785 0.05679 79 59 18 2
3677 You need to get out in the wind more. Life is so much better like this. 1.2785 0.05958 79 60 16 3
3678 We fit !!! 1.2785 0.06480 79 62 12 5
3679 There are two kinds of people in the world, those who hate Ted Cruz, and Ted Cruz." "That's funny." 1.2785 0.06224 79 61 14 4
3680 Turns out, we’ve been wearing them wrong the whole time 1.2785 0.06480 79 62 12 5
3681 Its from Ikea 1.2785 0.06480 79 62 12 5
3682 . #IKEA Lampshade-hack 1.2785 0.06480 79 62 12 5
3683 He also insists on wearing his mask under his chin. 1.2785 0.06224 79 61 14 4
3684 What can I say, I’ve learned to innovate. 1.2785 0.05075 79 57 22 0
3685 I find this way is much more aerodynamic. 1.2785 0.06224 79 61 14 4
3686 The Age of Enlightenment 1.2785 0.05958 79 60 16 3
3687 You do you, Scamper. You do you. 1.2785 0.06963 79 64 8 7
3688 Wearing your cone that way is so 2020. 1.2785 0.05958 79 60 16 3
3689 My human said, if it's uncomfortable wear it the wrong way, just like the mask. 1.2785 0.05958 79 60 16 3
3690 Fewer people complain about my concentrated dog breath. 1.2784 0.05433 97 74 19 4
3691 Sleeker model. Same darned result. 1.2784 0.05997 97 77 13 7
3692 My human is an optimist. 1.2784 0.05627 97 75 17 5
3693 Zero to 60 in 4.3 seconds. 1.2784 0.05627 97 75 17 5
3694 They get you coming and going. 1.2784 0.05997 97 77 13 7
3695 That whole “Windy City” thing is no joke. 1.2784 0.05627 97 75 17 5
3696 Remember that strong wind I told you about last week? 1.2778 0.06324 72 55 14 3
3697 It makes it easier to catch the bicyclists but the acoustics aren’t as terrifying. 1.2778 0.05672 72 53 18 1
3698 My people are Pilgrims. 1.2778 0.06626 72 56 12 4
3699 It's a "think outside the cone" type of thing. 1.2778 0.05365 90 70 16 4
3700 We could spoon. 1.2778 0.06915 72 57 10 5
3701 Is it too obvious that I'm trying to look like the apex predator here? 1.2778 0.06324 72 55 14 3
3702 You always were a trend setter. 1.2778 0.05703 90 69 17 4
3703 I've already helped one friend get out of his. 1.2778 0.05703 90 69 17 4
3704 Why,yes. I am Jewish. 1.2778 0.06324 72 55 14 3
3705 Don't ever let them put it on in the dark. 1.2778 0.06915 72 57 10 5
3706 I've found I get better reception when I use my tail as an antenna. 1.2778 0.06915 72 57 10 5
3707 Ah, bite me. Please bite me. Right behind my left leg. 1.2778 0.06626 72 56 12 4
3708 When a medical necessity meets a fashion statement. 1.2778 0.07192 72 58 8 6
3709 I've turned my life around. 1.2778 0.05918 90 70 15 5
3710 Squeeze through your doggie door- changes your whole perspective. 1.2778 0.06324 72 55 14 3
3711 And I just put it on backwards, and I'm totally free, but the humans aren't smart enough to notice the difference! 1.2778 0.05703 90 69 17 4
3712 Mine has reverse. 1.2778 0.05703 90 69 17 4
3713 I have a new perspective on life 1.2778 0.05703 90 69 17 4
3714 Sure I can see, but try running. 1.2778 0.06007 72 54 16 2
3715 No, I haven’t been to the vet, it’s my clerical collar! 1.2778 0.05918 90 70 15 5
3716 My vet is from Chicago, He says it works better in the wind. 1.2778 0.05004 90 66 23 1
3717 I see yours is an innie! 1.2778 0.06324 72 55 14 3
3718 It doesn't matter as long as we maintain social distance. 1.2778 0.04614 90 67 22 1
3719 Fortunately my boss can't follow directions. 1.2778 0.06324 72 55 14 3
3720 It's easier to run on a windy day, this way 1.2778 0.05480 90 68 19 3
3721 I blame tik tok 1.2778 0.05480 90 68 19 3
3722 What is it that you can hear that I can’t? 1.2778 0.05703 90 69 17 4
3723 Yes, I’m an Outie 1.2778 0.05918 90 70 15 5
3724 It’s called fashion, Brenda. Look it up. 1.2778 0.06915 72 57 10 5
3725 Ugh your collar is so last season. 1.2772 0.05650 101 79 16 6
3726 Watch out, it's just like an umbrella in the wind. 1.2772 0.05288 101 77 20 4
3727 I'm just glad that my owner is dyslexic. 1.2771 0.06255 83 65 13 5
3728 I got it patented. 1.2771 0.06708 83 67 9 7
3729 I think it gives me an ecclesiastical air. 1.2771 0.06255 83 65 13 5
3730 It's the latest in aero-dog-namics. 1.2771 0.06015 83 64 15 4
3731 Disruptive technology is changing everything. 1.2771 0.05766 83 63 17 3
3732 I've been such a good doggie that my owner has taken me off restrictions. 1.2771 0.05505 83 62 19 2
3733 This is how all the young pups are wearing them. 1.2771 0.05231 83 61 21 1
3734 Sometimes it pays to have a dumb owner. 1.2771 0.06015 83 64 15 4
3735 Some wind last night, huh? 1.2771 0.06255 83 65 13 5
3736 They call it the cone of fame. 1.2771 0.06255 83 65 13 5
3737 Not all white collar jobs are the same. 1.2771 0.06485 83 66 11 6
3738 I feel I’m more aerodynamic this way 1.2771 0.05505 83 62 19 2
3739 I flip cones for a living, and you? 1.2771 0.06015 83 64 15 4
3740 I'm a really fast runner. 1.2771 0.05766 83 63 17 3
3741 It’s called the “Postman Beware” style. 1.2771 0.05766 83 63 17 3
3742 I finally got my vaccine 1.2771 0.06015 83 64 15 4
3743 Aerodynamics over safety, I always say. 1.2771 0.06255 83 65 13 5
3744 It's windy out. 1.2771 0.05766 83 63 17 3
3745 There I was --- on the obstacle course --- when I got this crazy idea. 1.2771 0.05505 83 62 19 2
3746 Wind tunnel. 1.2771 0.06015 83 64 15 4
3747 Sure it’s a little more comfortable, Alan. But don’t forget — they chopped my balls off, same as yours! 1.2771 0.06015 83 64 15 4
3748 I paid extra. 1.2771 0.06255 83 65 13 5
3749 The reverse lamp shade is in fashion this season! 1.2771 0.05766 83 63 17 3
3750 So I can stick my head out the window when I ride in the car. 1.2771 0.05505 83 62 19 2
3751 The cat said it was more flattering this way. 1.2771 0.06015 83 64 15 4
3752 Say 'sit', and I become a table lamp! 1.2771 0.06485 83 66 11 6
3753 You can tell it’s inside-out because your tag is showing! 1.2771 0.05766 83 63 17 3
3754 The humans call it, “reverse psychology.” 1.2771 0.06708 83 67 9 7
3755 Still can't scratch, but now we can kiss. 1.2771 0.06015 83 64 15 4
3756 It will never work out. You’re an “innie” and I’m an “outie” 1.2771 0.06924 83 68 7 8
3757 It’s slightly less humiliating as a turtleneck. 1.2771 0.06015 83 64 15 4
3758 Like owner, like dog. That’s not how you wear a mask. 1.2771 0.05231 83 61 21 1
3759 The vet said this was a better option if I wanted to give side eye to my owner post-op. 1.2771 0.06015 83 64 15 4
3760 Fortunately, I have a dyslexic owner! 1.2769 0.07438 65 52 8 5
3761 Henry, you simply must try to be more fashion forward. 1.2769 0.05593 65 47 18 0
3762 Ruff day? 1.2769 0.06395 65 49 14 2
3763 I will give you the name of my veterinarian. 1.2766 0.05936 94 74 14 6
3764 No, it doesn't make you look fat. It's just that it's so, well, 70's. 1.2766 0.05538 94 72 18 4
3765 This time I gave up acoustics for the aerodynamic model. 1.2766 0.05741 94 73 16 5
3766 Gen Z says forward cones make you look old. 1.2766 0.04879 94 69 24 1
3767 It’s to protect other people from you, Jim, not the other way round 1.2766 0.05538 94 72 18 4
3768 Match.com finally got it right! 1.2763 0.05803 76 57 17 2
3769 My owner says I'm exercising my freedom. 1.2763 0.05493 76 56 19 1
3770 It's much more flattering this way on Zoom. 1.2763 0.06098 76 58 15 3
3771 It's all about the aerodynamics 1.2763 0.06098 76 58 15 3
3772 Luckily for me, my owner is dyslexic." 1.2763 0.06379 76 59 13 4
3773 Channeling RBG 1.2763 0.06098 76 58 15 3
3774 I think you're wearing it wrong, Percy. It's hiding your best features. 1.2763 0.05803 76 57 17 2
3775 So you're our new Handmaid? 1.2763 0.06379 76 59 13 4
3776 No. It was all lit up when I knocked it over. 1.2763 0.06379 76 59 13 4
3777 If you wear it like this, you won’t look like a lampshade. 1.2763 0.06379 76 59 13 4
3778 I’m going for the Elizabethan look. What do you think? 1.2763 0.06098 76 58 15 3
3779 It's all the rage, I saw it on Tic Tock. 1.2763 0.05803 76 57 17 2
3780 Told you my master was ass backwards 1.2763 0.06098 76 58 15 3
3781 You, too, can escape the totalitarian regime which enslaves handmaidens. 1.2763 0.06379 76 59 13 4
3782 In a metaphysical sense, isn't it really chasing us? 1.2763 0.06649 76 60 11 5
3783 I’m Father Barker, have you been saved? 1.2763 0.06379 76 59 13 4
3784 (Left) I feel like I can't see anything. (Right) Trust me, the view isn't any better from here. 1.2763 0.06379 76 59 13 4
3785 Wait, you’re saying you didn’t get your head stuck in a lamp too? 1.2763 0.06649 76 60 11 5
3786 I've donned this thing in solidarity, but need my peripheral vision for the cats. 1.2763 0.06098 76 58 15 3
3787 ... and I said to him, ‘it’s my body, my choice.’ 1.2763 0.05803 76 57 17 2
3788 I'll scratch your's if you will scratch mine. 1.2763 0.06379 76 59 13 4
3789 Trust me. I had beans last night. 1.2763 0.06098 76 58 15 3
3790 It’s a new style called Cone of Pride 1.2763 0.07157 76 62 7 7
3791 You should have seen it during New York Fashion Week. I call it Haute Cone-ture! 1.2763 0.05803 76 57 17 2
3792 It was something about ‘Elon Musk,’ ‘aerodynamics,’ and a new model. I thought I’d try it out. 1.2763 0.05803 76 57 17 2
3793 So I said,enough with the scratching. 1.2759 0.05590 87 66 18 3
3794 Less convent, more Fortress of Solitude. 1.2759 0.05590 87 66 18 3
3795 I got carried away with a lampshade party trick - you? 1.2759 0.06266 87 69 12 6
3796 It's for when I eat too much dairy. 1.2759 0.05345 87 65 20 2
3797 Uh-uh....yours is backwards. 1.2759 0.05345 87 65 20 2
3798 I watched a YouTube tutorial on how to turn it into a turtleneck. 1.2759 0.05345 87 65 20 2
3799 I used to wear it that way, too. Then I chased the cat through the edge and ... this is a whole new ball game! 1.2759 0.05590 87 66 18 3
3800 How fetching - mine’s reversible. 1.2759 0.05824 87 67 16 4
3801 You won't believe how much faster you can run! 1.2759 0.05824 87 67 16 4
3802 With my cone I can get every streaming channel but it is a little harder to eat... 1.2759 0.05345 87 65 20 2
3803 Some of us are innies and some of us are outies. We are all dogs. 1.2759 0.06049 87 68 14 5
3804 My owner watches fox news. 1.2759 0.07068 87 73 4 10
3805 It's just a simple matter of thinking outside the cone. 1.2759 0.05824 87 67 16 4
3806 At least you can see what’s going on ! 1.2759 0.05345 87 65 20 2
3807 He gets drunk a lot. 1.2759 0.05824 87 67 16 4
3808 Is yours an N95? 1.2759 0.06049 87 68 14 5
3809 It keeps rear-end odors from reaching my front end. 1.2759 0.05590 87 66 18 3
3810 but what about next season? you’ll look like you’ve just signed the mayflower compact. 1.2759 0.06049 87 68 14 5
3811 One of our owners got it right. 1.2755 0.05762 98 77 15 6
3812 nice cone” “what cone? I just ate through the bottom of my food bowl and got stuck! 1.2755 0.05577 98 76 17 5
3813 2021 is all about licking your wounds 1.2755 0.05762 98 77 15 6
3814 Shameless, I know. 1.2754 0.06811 69 54 11 4
3815 Mine didn't come from the vet. I got mine at a wild party last night. 1.2754 0.07117 69 55 9 5
3816 It’s more aerodynamic this way. 1.2754 0.06154 69 52 15 2
3817 Yeah, I went to a walk-in vet. 1.2754 0.07117 69 55 9 5
3818 What do you say . . . I scratch yours and you scratch mine. 1.2754 0.06811 69 54 11 4
3819 It's not a fashion statement.... Bob has dyslexia. 1.2754 0.06491 69 53 13 3
3820 No,not surgery. I’ve got dandruff. 1.2754 0.06811 69 54 11 4
3821 I know I shouldn’t wear it this way, but I just tested negative and I’ve been super careful. 1.2754 0.06811 69 54 11 4
3822 Mine is so I stop licking my butt. What's yours for? 1.2752 0.05510 109 86 16 7
3823 Hi Cone Head. 1.2750 0.05618 80 60 18 2
3824 Ah, a fellow Shakespeare enthusiast! 1.2750 0.06408 80 63 12 5
3825 Getting more natural light is a goal of mine this year. 1.2750 0.05618 80 60 18 2
3826 It’s a more slimming look this way. 1.2750 0.06408 80 63 12 5
3827 Oh, you see, I was taken to the veter-contrarian. 1.2750 0.06408 80 63 12 5
3828 I tried it that way, but it made my tail look too fat 1.2750 0.06156 80 62 14 4
3829 Shame is just a social construct! 1.2750 0.06156 80 62 14 4
3830 I just got surgery.” “Oh, I’m doing a play. 1.2750 0.05893 80 61 16 3
3831 one of us has got this thing on backwards 1.2750 0.05618 80 60 18 2
3832 My owner has an IQ of 74. 1.2750 0.07110 80 66 6 8
3833 My therapist really helped me see more things in my life. Would you like her name? 1.2750 0.06650 80 64 10 6
3834 It’s the latest-Puritan. Elizabethan is soooo last year. 1.2750 0.05893 80 61 16 3
3835 You scratch my itch, I'll scratch yours. OK? 1.2750 0.05893 80 61 16 3
3836 I like the new look, it makes your hips look slimmer. 1.2750 0.05618 80 60 18 2
3837 My owner is dyslexic and he calls me 'god'. 1.2750 0.06408 80 63 12 5
3838 ..so then I just ran through the doggy door at top speed. It worked! 1.2750 0.05618 80 60 18 2
3839 Turns out it's terrible this way, too! Live and learn, you know? 1.2750 0.06408 80 63 12 5
3840 I'm a satellite dish." "I'm a rocketship. 1.2750 0.06650 80 64 10 6
3841 I wanted a reverse neuter but instead I got this reverse lampshade 1.2750 0.05893 80 61 16 3
3842 Trust me, we're compatible. 1.2750 0.06408 80 63 12 5
3843 You must be from New York. Welcome to Florida! 1.2750 0.05893 80 61 16 3
3844 Then, bite me! This whole rabies thing is a hoax. You know that, right? 1.2750 0.06650 80 64 10 6
3845 It really helped for me to face into the wind. 1.2750 0.06884 80 65 8 7
3846 Class it up Max, only douchebags pop their collars. 1.2750 0.06650 80 64 10 6
3847 So there’s this website call lifehack.... 1.2750 0.05893 80 61 16 3
3848 I can't hear you! They put my receiver on backwards. 1.2747 0.05649 91 70 17 4
3849 All you have to do is sneeze real hard! 1.2747 0.05861 91 71 15 5
3850 No, you're not looking in a mirror. 1.2747 0.05315 91 71 16 4
3851 I love that it’s reversible! 1.2747 0.05428 91 69 19 3
3852 Just be super specific about what you want them to reverse. 1.2747 0.05861 91 71 15 5
3853 Dude, your point of view just seems so limited. 1.2747 0.05428 91 69 19 3
3854 I miss the sound of the ocean, but I’m faster. 1.2747 0.06264 91 73 11 7
3855 It’s the McConnell model, you don’t see it but you know it’s there. 1.2747 0.06066 91 72 13 6
3856 He didn't know. I just told him to put it on the other way. 1.2747 0.05649 91 70 17 4
3857 You should see the lightbulb! 1.2747 0.05198 91 68 21 2
3858 Wearing your collar up like that is soooooo 1980. 1.2745 0.05054 102 77 22 3
3859 episcopalian? 1.2742 0.07685 62 50 7 5
3860 Faster turns, better handling, more lickability... 1.2742 0.06157 62 46 15 1
3861 Would you like to invest in my startup? 1.2740 0.06248 73 56 14 3
3862 You wear it well." 1.2740 0.06248 73 56 14 3
3863 Oh no, I'm fine. This is just to reduce wind-resistance. 1.2740 0.05936 73 55 16 2
3864 ...and I thought I got carried away at MY party! 1.2740 0.04256 73 58 13 2
3865 I see you're a Trumper. 1.2740 0.06248 73 56 14 3
3866 My vet believes in reverse psychology. 1.2740 0.06248 73 56 14 3
3867 I was so hungry I ate the bottom of my bowl. 1.2740 0.06830 73 58 10 5
3868 Do you hear that echo? 1.2740 0.05606 73 54 18 1
3869 But who has time for instructions, right? 1.2740 0.05936 73 55 16 2
3870 I'm being trained to squeeze into rabbit holes. 1.2740 0.06546 73 57 12 4
3871 What I've lost in radio reception, I've gain in miles-per-gallon. 1.2740 0.06546 73 57 12 4
3872 My Vet? Dr. Harold Bornstein. Why do you ask? 1.2740 0.06546 73 57 12 4
3873 My owner says it’s a great conversation starter.” 1.2740 0.06546 73 57 12 4
3874 I want to say it’s “pilgrim’s progress”, but I have no idea why. 1.2740 0.06546 73 57 12 4
3875 I see you’re more of an introvert. It’s okay, I’ll do all the barking. 1.2740 0.06248 73 56 14 3
3876 I love introverts! 1.2740 0.06546 73 57 12 4
3877 I believe the correct term for your condition is called “directionally challenged”. 1.2740 0.07103 73 59 8 6
3878 The Constitution protects my sniffing rights! 1.2740 0.06546 73 57 12 4
3879 Look! I’m a lampshade 1.2740 0.06830 73 58 10 5
3880 My Mom's dyslexic. She dates 24 year olds because she thinks they're 42. 1.2740 0.07103 73 59 8 6
3881 I prefer the RBG look to the mandated insurrection model. 1.2740 0.07103 73 59 8 6
3882 The lampshade look...so last season. 1.2740 0.05606 73 54 18 1
3883 I got a colonoscopy 1.2740 0.06546 73 57 12 4
3884 It’s called an ENOC 1.2740 0.06546 73 57 12 4
3885 That new dog door sure is a doozy 1.2740 0.05606 73 54 18 1
3886 It has the same effect, just a different aesthetic. 1.2740 0.04682 73 54 19 0
3887 My mother was a Lamprador. 1.2740 0.06546 73 57 12 4
3888 Turn around 1.2738 0.05449 84 63 19 2
3889 You gotta fight for your right to lick it. 1.2738 0.06189 84 66 13 5
3890 I don't think you scratching my back if I lick your testicles is entirely fair. 1.2738 0.06189 84 66 13 5
3891 I could never pull off a popped collar. 1.2738 0.05952 84 65 15 4
3892 2020 was bad enough in New York and now they want us to do a pop up production of Handmaids Tail! 1.2738 0.05449 84 63 19 2
3893 We can still have sex! 1.2738 0.05449 84 63 19 2
3894 I'm an innie. I see you're an outtie. 1.2738 0.06189 84 66 13 5
3895 Boy oh boy...is there ever a strong wind out there, today. 1.2738 0.06189 84 66 13 5
3896 You can’t hear as well, but it’s easier to eat. 1.2738 0.05706 84 64 17 3
3897 But this way is so much more aerodynamic. 1.2738 0.05449 84 63 19 2
3898 Don't get me started on my bowl. 1.2738 0.06189 84 66 13 5
3899 Po-tah-to! 1.2738 0.05706 84 64 17 3
3900 Better mileage by reducing wind resistance. 1.2738 0.05706 84 64 17 3
3901 I stood in front of the fan too long. 1.2738 0.06636 84 68 9 7
3902 Now he has a cone-spiracy theory. 1.2738 0.06416 84 67 11 6
3903 You're gonna love this. I know why you keep hearing echos. 1.2738 0.05952 84 65 15 4
3904 Must you always be such a contrarian? 1.2738 0.05706 84 64 17 3
3905 I only turn it around for Zoom calls. 1.2738 0.06189 84 66 13 5
3906 I see you still have last years model. 1.2738 0.05449 84 63 19 2
3907 I couldn’t disagree more. 1.2738 0.05952 84 65 15 4
3908 Did you ever stick your head out a moving car window? 1.2738 0.05952 84 65 15 4
3909 And that's why I can run faster than you! 1.2737 0.05279 95 72 20 3
3910 Mine is haute couture while yours is obviously pret-a-porter. 1.2737 0.05279 95 72 20 3
3911 This way, the bad guys can't bite me in the neck but I can bite them. 1.2737 0.05487 95 73 18 4
3912 I hate to say this Ralph, but the "popped collar" went out of style in the 90's. 1.2737 0.05487 95 73 18 4
3913 There is no shame in transitioning! 1.2737 0.05062 95 71 22 2
3914 I have innovated the fit for optimal butt sniffing 1.2737 0.05687 95 74 16 5
3915 I run so much faster now! 1.2737 0.05487 95 73 18 4
3916 You think your owner has bad gas... try walking behind mine! 1.2737 0.05487 95 73 18 4
3917 Protects the bark collar. 1.2727 0.05140 99 75 21 3
3918 It's much more aerodynamic. 1.2727 0.06203 88 70 12 6
3919 It's great in a headwind." 1.2727 0.06306 77 60 13 4
3920 My owner took me to an alternative medicine vet. 1.2727 0.05535 88 67 18 3
3921 I don't scratch my neck, but I can still sniff your butt. 1.2727 0.05739 77 58 17 2
3922 The vet said I need a lampshade 'cause I'm so bright. 1.2727 0.06203 88 70 12 6
3923 Next week I'm getting a jet pack. 1.2727 0.06572 77 61 11 5
3924 Wait 'til you come on over to the other side! 1.2727 0.05433 77 57 19 1
3925 I'm studying to be a nun. 1.2727 0.06805 88 73 6 9
3926 It's because I figured out how to paw at the flea medicine. 1.2727 0.05433 77 57 19 1
3927 They put mine on backwards and I’m able to do just about anything 1.2727 0.05766 88 68 16 4
3928 That style went out with bell bottoms. 1.2727 0.05766 88 68 16 4
3929 No more funnel vision for me. 1.2727 0.05766 88 68 16 4
3930 I went Puritan. You went Elizabethan. Never go Elizabethan.” 1.2727 0.06572 77 61 11 5
3931 I love it there, except for the high winds. 1.2727 0.05766 88 68 16 4
3932 Get in the car, wait 'til you're going really fast, stick your head out the window, and look forward! 1.2727 0.06312 66 50 14 2
3933 It's supposed to be slimming... 1.2727 0.06029 77 59 15 3
3934 Simple, I just told my humans they were taking 'cancel culture' too far. 1.2727 0.06572 77 61 11 5
3935 Elizabethan? That's so lame. This is Star Trek. 1.2727 0.06671 66 51 12 3
3936 I used to hate sneezing. 1.2727 0.05739 77 58 17 2
3937 I'm all bark no bite. 1.2727 0.05766 88 68 16 4
3938 My name is Rocket. Are you Bucket? 1.2727 0.05535 88 67 18 3
3939 No, I'm not hurt. This is just a fashion statement. 1.2727 0.06572 77 61 11 5
3940 Yeah, but I can't breathe when I wear it like that. 1.2727 0.04775 88 69 16 3
3941 I can run faster; less wind resistance. 1.2727 0.05535 88 67 18 3
3942 It's a little trick I taught myself. 1.2727 0.06572 77 61 11 5
3943 So, you’re an innie and I’m an outtie. 1.2727 0.06306 77 60 13 4
3944 No, I wasn't at the vet. I guess I had too much to drink at our office party. 1.2727 0.06029 77 59 15 3
3945 They call me God, what's your name? 1.2727 0.05294 88 66 20 2
3946 I find the Elizabethan look too old school. 1.2727 0.06306 77 60 13 4
3947 With the aerodynamic design I can run like the wind!... but my cable reception has deteriorated. 1.2727 0.05535 88 67 18 3
3948 I bit the mailman. Who'd you bite? 1.2727 0.06203 88 70 12 6
3949 It’s vintage. 1.2727 0.06572 77 61 11 5
3950 Well, duh, my owner should know. She's a catholic nun. 1.2727 0.05766 88 68 16 4
3951 Can you tell I'm from Brooklyn? 1.2727 0.06029 77 59 15 3
3952 With this configuration, I can catch the mailman in a headwind. 1.2727 0.06572 77 61 11 5
3953 The acoustics aren't as enhanced but my peripheral has improved dramatically. 1.2727 0.05739 77 58 17 2
3954 It all comes down to whether your bark is worse than your bite 1.2727 0.05739 77 58 17 2
3955 Well, I've always considered myself a trend setter. 1.2727 0.05294 88 66 20 2
3956 its a fashion statement . ok?" 1.2727 0.06029 77 59 15 3
3957 Look! It’s reversible! 1.2727 0.06029 77 59 15 3
3958 I saw online that Fauci says this way is 15% more effective 1.2727 0.05739 77 58 17 2
3959 I'm an outie. How come you're an innie? 1.2727 0.05766 88 68 16 4
3960 After the year we've had, thought it was time to try something different 1.2727 0.05169 88 68 17 3
3961 Oh Dear. That is so "last year"! 1.2727 0.06203 88 70 12 6
3962 My 2021 New Year's resolution was to live life different than last year. 1.2727 0.06827 77 62 9 6
3963 True it’s less comfortable than the off the shoulder model But the ringing in my ears is finally gone 1.2727 0.07012 66 52 10 4
3964 I guess it's time we had "the talk." 1.2727 0.06312 66 50 14 2
3965 They claim they get better reception this way. 1.2727 0.06029 77 59 15 3
3966 Functional maybe... But my dear, sooo last year. 1.2727 0.05294 88 66 20 2
3967 I can't chew my leg either, but I can still roll my head in feces. 1.2727 0.06029 77 59 15 3
3968 It's the new iCone. 1.2727 0.05739 77 58 17 2
3969 It’s more slimming on Zoom this way 1.2727 0.05988 88 69 14 5
3970 I find I can see, hear and eat much better this way! 1.2727 0.06306 77 60 13 4
3971 I got the vaccine. 1.2727 0.05739 77 58 17 2
3972 If you bite my back, I’ll bite yours. 1.2727 0.05739 77 58 17 2
3973 Easily the fastest they've ever driven. 1.2727 0.05535 88 67 18 3
3974 Have you ever heard that opposites attract? 1.2727 0.06306 77 60 13 4
3975 I guess we know which way the wind’s blowin’. 1.2727 0.06029 77 59 15 3
3976 It's so much more slimming this way 1.2727 0.05766 88 68 16 4
3977 There's a whole lot less echo this way 1.2727 0.05931 66 49 16 1
3978 Well good luck with the worms but I’m due back on set so... 1.2727 0.06671 66 51 12 3
3979 See, I started with it that way but I couldn’t lick my butt so I flipped it around. 1.2727 0.05151 110 85 20 5
3980 It’s aerodynamic, allows for peripheral vision, and I can lick my balls again. 1.2727 0.06306 77 60 13 4
3981 Wind resistance. 1.2717 0.04913 92 68 23 1
3982 Its a aerodynamics thing. 1.2717 0.05595 92 71 17 4
3983 You can't pull it off. 1.2717 0.05595 92 71 17 4
3984 Lucky me. He never reads the instructions. 1.2717 0.05804 92 72 15 5
3985 Life hack. Saw it on Tik Tok. 1.2717 0.05377 92 70 19 3
3986 Still keeps me from scratching my face, but butt sniffs are much easier 1.2717 0.06202 92 74 11 7
3987 You've got yours on backwards. 1.2717 0.05804 92 72 15 5
3988 My master has me wear it this way as an expression of my freedom. 1.2717 0.05595 92 71 17 4
3989 I was sceptical at first but - honestly - it’s changed my life 1.2717 0.05595 92 71 17 4
3990 I see you have the old model 1.2717 0.05150 92 69 21 2
3991 You look like a lamp bro’ 1.2717 0.05595 92 71 17 4
3992 They probably put a chip in you too 1.2717 0.06202 92 74 11 7
3993 try it the other way around, you'll be surprised how comfortable you will feel. 1.2716 0.07030 81 67 6 8
3994 Justice Ginsberg does not like to be mocked. 1.2716 0.06337 81 64 12 5
3995 My vet is a puritan. 1.2716 0.06337 81 64 12 5
3996 Aerodynamically speaking, it's a no brainer for chasing cats and squirrels 1.2716 0.06089 81 63 14 4
3997 Cone of shame? Nah, I'm playing Miles Standish's dog in the school play. 1.2716 0.06576 81 65 10 6
3998 This is how all the kids are wearing them now. 1.2716 0.06337 81 64 12 5
3999 Your way is supposed to improve hearing. 1.2716 0.05830 81 62 16 3
4000 At least I can get in the doggie door. 1.2716 0.05274 81 60 20 1
4001 Sorry, I have decided to go in a different direction. 1.2716 0.05830 81 62 16 3
4002 I can still lick mine, how about you? 1.2716 0.06089 81 63 14 4
4003 You'll have to bark louder. I'm mostly ironic and partially deaf." 1.2716 0.06576 81 65 10 6
4004 It's OK - it's casual furday! 1.2716 0.05830 81 62 16 3
4005 I like yours better; it frames your face nicely, and you makes you look thinner. 1.2716 0.06337 81 64 12 5
4006 I run faster with it this way. 1.2716 0.06337 81 64 12 5
4007 Maybe it’s backwards, but it dramatically improves the aerodynamics. 1.2716 0.06089 81 63 14 4
4008 And don’t put your head out of the car window. 1.2716 0.06337 81 64 12 5
4009 Elizabethan collars are so retro 1.2716 0.05830 81 62 16 3
4010 I keep telling you to think outside of the cone, Dave. 1.2716 0.05830 81 62 16 3
4011 Its called an A-Line 1.2716 0.06337 81 64 12 5
4012 Dude it’s a lampshade 1.2716 0.05559 81 61 18 2
4013 Can you believe they turned me away at the groomers this morning? I am wearing the damn thing, what more do they want?! 1.2716 0.05830 81 62 16 3
4014 I was able to flip mine so we could get a little smooch going. 1.2716 0.06089 81 63 14 4
4015 I can see better AND I can really hear my farts! 1.2714 0.06725 70 55 11 4
4016 Well, Thanksgiving is coming up, so I wanted to go for a Pilgrim vibe. 1.2714 0.06078 70 53 15 2
4017 Because my master's smarter than yours, that's why! 1.2714 0.06410 70 54 13 3
4018 I'll scratch your nose if you. . .well you get the picture! 1.2714 0.05727 70 52 17 1
4019 You just need to think outside the cone 1.2714 0.07026 70 56 9 5
4020 Sure it's less effective, but also far less dorky looking. 1.2714 0.06078 70 53 15 2
4021 I'm a Jesuit. What are you? 1.2714 0.06725 70 55 11 4
4022 Of course , I will lick your stitches 1.2714 0.06410 70 54 13 3
4023 New trick - who'd a thought it? 1.2714 0.06410 70 54 13 3
4024 My doctor says I'm more of an extrovert. 1.2714 0.06725 70 55 11 4
4025 Aww ... still no vaccine? 1.2714 0.05727 70 52 17 1
4026 ...only when I’m on Zoom 1.2714 0.06725 70 55 11 4
4027 It’s aerodynamic, dude. 1.2714 0.06078 70 53 15 2
4028 I guess your owners have a different reaction to watching Bridgerton than mine. 1.2714 0.06725 70 55 11 4
4029 You have an innie; I have an outie. 1.2708 0.05635 96 75 16 5
4030 I've received my COVID-19 shot, that's why. 1.2708 0.05635 96 75 16 5
4031 Pretty windy out today,eh? 1.2708 0.05635 96 75 16 5
4032 I didn't want us to be matchy-matchy. 1.2708 0.05635 96 75 16 5
4033 I prefer the button down look over the turtle neck 1.2708 0.05231 96 73 20 3
4034 Tomato, to-mah-to, potato, po-tah-to” 1.2708 0.05437 96 74 18 4
4035 It’s not just sleeping dogs that can lie. 1.2708 0.05231 96 73 20 3
4036 I’m not a real gang member. I just like the look of wearing it backward. 1.2706 0.05648 85 65 17 3
4037 Well sure, now it looks obvious. 1.2706 0.05891 85 66 15 4
4038 I hear this was the style for Pilgrim's dogs. 1.2706 0.05394 85 64 19 2
4039 If you really must know, I sneezed. 1.2706 0.05891 85 66 15 4
4040 We can finally kiss without being seen" 1.2706 0.06124 85 67 13 5
4041 So much easier sticking my head under the fence. Getting it out is a bit more difficult. 1.2706 0.05891 85 66 15 4
4042 You look like a lamp shade. 1.2706 0.06124 85 67 13 5
4043 Six of one, half a dozen of the other, but I still can't reach my testicles." 1.2706 0.05648 85 65 17 3
4044 The aerodynamics help when chasing cars! Which, by the way, is how I hurt myself in the first place! 1.2706 0.05648 85 65 17 3
4045 My owner is fashion forward. 1.2706 0.05648 85 65 17 3
4046 I used reverse psychology 1.2706 0.06124 85 67 13 5
4047 I like to think of myself as an introvert. 1.2706 0.06124 85 67 13 5
4048 You have to ask for the Buster Keaton Collar. 1.2706 0.05648 85 65 17 3
4049 I got mine switched when I "came out". 1.2706 0.05648 85 67 14 4
4050 Aerodynamic, baby 1.2706 0.06348 85 68 11 6
4051 You either know fashion or you don’t. 1.2706 0.05394 85 64 19 2
4052 This is to tell us apart, don't complain. 1.2706 0.05648 85 65 17 3
4053 You'll never be free until you can look to the left. 1.2706 0.05648 85 65 17 3
4054 Wow, they un-fixed me. What happened to you? 1.2706 0.05891 85 66 15 4
4055 You can play Handmaid's Tale and I'll be the Fleabag priest. 1.2706 0.06565 85 69 9 7
4056 My lawyer says it's whiplash 1.2706 0.06124 85 67 13 5
4057 Clearly you're an introvert and I'm an extrovert. 1.2706 0.05891 85 66 15 4
4058 It's okay, I've been vaccinated. 1.2706 0.05394 85 64 19 2
4059 We're like bellybuttons. You're and innie and I'm an outie." 1.2706 0.06124 85 67 13 5
4060 It's for whiplash. 1.2706 0.05891 85 66 15 4
4061 It is quite windy out there today. 1.2706 0.05891 85 66 15 4
4062 Et tu,canis 1.2706 0.05891 85 66 15 4
4063 Antonin,it still looks better on me. 1.2706 0.04847 85 67 15 3
4064 They’re stackable! 1.2706 0.05891 85 66 15 4
4065 My body will hurt later, but for now, I'm fashion. 1.2706 0.05394 85 64 19 2
4066 'it's much more aerodynamic this way, I chase cars 5 times faster now!' 1.2706 0.06348 85 68 11 6
4067 Its called a spoiler. Cuts down on wind resistance when you're chasing cats... 1.2703 0.06174 74 57 14 3
4068 I don't get what you're complaining about 1.2703 0.05867 74 56 16 2
4069 I'm part of the Proud Dogs--I'll wear it how I want. 1.2703 0.06467 74 58 12 4
4070 Can't scratch but still can meet and sniff. It's win-win 1.2703 0.06174 74 57 14 3
4071 No, no, I'm perfectly healthy, thanks. I just got a little tipsy at a party and tried to be entertaining. 1.2703 0.06467 74 58 12 4
4072 And the best thing? I can bite my stitches. 1.2703 0.07016 74 60 8 6
4073 Is today opposite day? 1.2703 0.06174 74 57 14 3
4074 Another perk of being a seeing-eye dog. 1.2703 0.06747 74 59 10 5
4075 Seriously... Turtlenecks. Back in style. 1.2703 0.05867 74 56 16 2
4076 Ruth Bader Ginsberg and you? 1.2703 0.06467 74 58 12 4
4077 I think you can pull it off 1.2703 0.06747 74 59 10 5
4078 Makes my face look sharper on Zoom! 1.2703 0.06174 74 57 14 3
4079 Oh so retro, bro. 1.2703 0.06467 74 58 12 4
4080 My veterinarian is overly concerned with customer experience. 1.2703 0.06467 74 58 12 4
4081 As a squirrel chaser, I insist on streamlining. 1.2703 0.05198 74 54 20 0
4082 Now they can tell us apart 1.2703 0.05867 74 56 16 2
4083 You’re an innie, I see. 1.2703 0.06174 74 57 14 3
4084 I feel less of a loser 1.2703 0.06467 74 58 12 4
4085 I don’t let it define me. 1.2700 0.05478 100 79 17 5
4086 I just stuck my head out the window of our car on the highway. 1.2697 0.05709 89 69 16 4
4087 It’s Elizabethan. 1.2697 0.05709 89 69 16 4
4088 Fantastic party, Major, right up until you suggested the lamp shade dance. 1.2697 0.06140 89 71 12 6
4089 Let America Scratch Again 1.2697 0.05709 89 69 16 4
4090 You have four opposable legs. Use them. 1.2697 0.05709 89 69 16 4
4091 My owner was an English major in college. 1.2697 0.05929 89 70 14 5
4092 I love your cone, it's so retro. 1.2697 0.05481 89 68 18 3
4093 No really, this way the cone is way more breathable. 1.2697 0.05929 89 70 14 5
4094 I opted for peripheral vision 1.2697 0.05481 89 68 18 3
4095 I'll lick your paws if you scratch my neck. 1.2697 0.05481 89 68 18 3
4096 No, your doesn't make you look fat. 1.2697 0.06140 89 71 12 6
4097 The political climate is right to try cross-dressing. 1.2697 0.06345 89 72 10 7
4098 You've never heard of reverse engineering? 1.2697 0.05929 89 70 14 5
4099 I know it’s scary, but I must say I’ve never regretted coming out of the cone. 1.2697 0.06140 89 71 12 6
4100 Let's go back to barking. Our loud speaker plan isn't working out. 1.2697 0.04993 89 66 22 1
4101 Just stop licking 1.2697 0.06140 89 71 12 6
4102 Neat! I'm an innie and you're an outtie. 1.2697 0.05481 89 68 18 3
4103 Bless me, Father, for I have sinned. This is my first confession. 1.2697 0.05481 89 68 18 3
4104 So that’s how you wear it 1.2697 0.05709 89 69 16 4
4105 I find the reception is better 1.2697 0.05709 89 69 16 4
4106 I went the alternative medicine route. 1.2692 0.05676 78 59 17 2
4107 I tried to be more fashionable but I can’t lick or scratch my wounds and feel sorry for myself either” 1.2692 0.05962 78 60 15 3
4108 She thinks it looks more chic this way. 1.2692 0.05374 78 60 16 2
4109 My master says it makes me look more clerical. 1.2692 0.05962 78 60 15 3
4110 If I bark, he jumps. Who's his master's voice now? 1.2692 0.06496 78 62 11 5
4111 I tried everything. Then I stood in front of a really big fan. 1.2692 0.05676 78 59 17 2
4112 My vet’s a southpaw. 1.2692 0.06748 78 63 9 6
4113 Mine were actually put back in. 1.2692 0.05676 78 59 17 2
4114 You'll never get anywhere with that negative attitude. 1.2692 0.05676 78 59 17 2
4115 You say potăto, I say potāto. 1.2692 0.05962 78 60 15 3
4116 It's just like the scoop shop - you can request cone or bowl! 1.2692 0.06235 78 61 13 4
4117 I think it brings out my eyes. 1.2692 0.06235 78 61 13 4
4118 It's still better than the sweater. 1.2692 0.05962 78 60 15 3
4119 I am rubber, you are glue. 1.2692 0.04970 104 81 19 4
4120 Hi! My owner thinks we'd make a really good fit. 1.2692 0.06748 78 63 9 6
4121 Ambulance chaser? 1.2692 0.05676 78 59 17 2
4122 You just have to run fast into the wind. 1.2692 0.05962 78 60 15 3
4123 A city ordinance says I have to war one of these, but my master is a good lawyer. 1.2692 0.06496 78 62 11 5
4124 Where's your convent? 1.2692 0.05962 78 60 15 3
4125 It's my constitutional right not to wear it properly. 1.2692 0.05962 78 60 15 3
4126 Focus is fine, it’s just that I’m a big picture kinda guy. 1.2692 0.06496 78 62 11 5
4127 I'm lucky. My owner's dyslexic 1.2692 0.06235 78 61 13 4
4128 My vet is a fashionista. 1.2692 0.06235 78 61 13 4
4129 Your cone is an innie,mine is an outie!!! 1.2692 0.05962 78 60 15 3
4130 It’s called fast fashion. 1.2692 0.05962 78 60 15 3
4131 I guess you think wearing a mask under your nose works too. 1.2692 0.06235 78 61 13 4
4132 Goody Proctor is a witch. 1.2692 0.06748 78 63 9 6
4133 The experience was eye-opening. I decided to turn my whole life around. 1.2692 0.06235 78 61 13 4
4134 Honey, I know this is a medical contraption, but nobody said it cannot also be a fashion statement... 1.2692 0.06235 78 61 13 4
4135 Mom said I’m big enough to get dressed on my own now. 1.2692 0.06496 78 62 11 5
4136 They can't take my freedom away. I'm a Patriot! 1.2692 0.06235 78 61 13 4
4137 Such a relief! My peripheral vision is so much better. 1.2688 0.05749 93 73 15 5
4138 You look a little hot under the collar. 1.2688 0.05103 93 70 21 2
4139 My stupid owner wears his mask under his nose too. 1.2688 0.05327 93 71 19 3
4140 I’m one of the Salem Bitches in the school play. 1.2688 0.06512 93 77 7 9
4141 That's a bad habit. 1.2688 0.05327 93 71 19 3
4142 Mine is designed to be aerodynamic. 1.2688 0.05749 93 73 15 5
4143 Think different. 1.2687 0.06230 67 51 14 2
4144 I couldn't get a signal. 1.2687 0.06583 67 52 12 3
4145 And what order do you belong to, sister? 1.2687 0.06230 67 51 14 2
4146 It was easy, you know how we like to stick out head out of the car window... 1.2687 0.06230 67 51 14 2
4147 My bite is better than my bark this way. 1.2687 0.06230 67 51 14 2
4148 oh you still got last year’s model? 1.2687 0.06583 67 52 12 3
4149 You’re so old school. 1.2687 0.06230 67 51 14 2
4150 To scratch, or to sniff? That is the question. 1.2687 0.07238 67 54 8 5
4151 Yes - it makes running more difficult. But at least I can see what I'd be running from 1.2687 0.05856 67 50 16 1
4152 Turns out they’ve been using them wrong this whole time! Dumb humans never read instructions. 1.2687 0.05856 67 50 16 1
4153 You’re not wearing your face mask right 😂 @shaunako2001 1.2687 0.06230 67 51 14 2
4154 No,no problem. My humans are Pilgrims. 1.2683 0.06023 82 64 14 4
4155 Just run into the wind, like I told you. 1.2683 0.06268 82 65 12 5
4156 Now I can eat AND I don’t get stains on my chest. 1.2683 0.05768 82 63 16 3
4157 I lucked out, my owner is dyslexic. 1.2683 0.06023 82 64 14 4
4158 And I can run like the wind when dinner is served. 1.2683 0.06023 82 64 14 4
4159 I’m a libertarian. 1.2683 0.06268 82 65 12 5
4160 I wanted to stop picking my nose. 1.2683 0.05768 82 63 16 3
4161 He bought it at IKEA. 1.2683 0.05768 82 63 16 3
4162 For you, a punishment, for me a fashion statement. 1.2683 0.06023 82 64 14 4
4163 Windy day, isn’t it? 1.2683 0.05768 82 63 16 3
4164 Don't laugh...I've cut two minutes off my 5K time. 1.2683 0.06268 82 65 12 5
4165 You should see him put on his bow tie! 1.2683 0.05501 82 62 18 2
4166 It happened at Mach 1 1.2683 0.06504 82 66 10 6
4167 No operation for me. I attacked a lamp. 1.2683 0.06268 82 65 12 5
4168 This is the Space Force K-9 regulation way. 1.2683 0.05768 82 63 16 3
4169 The directions of use were missing! 1.2683 0.06268 82 65 12 5
4170 Your vet is a duck? No, I said my vet is a quack 1.2683 0.06268 82 67 9 6
4171 Well, I ran face first into a strong wind, and the cone popped back! 1.2683 0.06023 82 64 14 4
4172 My human had a little trouble following the Vet’s instructions during the online appointment. 1.2683 0.06023 82 64 14 4
4173 My humans are Puritans now, which is a bit of a drag, but I have to say that this is really great for cutting wind resistance when I chase squirrels. 1.2683 0.06023 82 64 14 4
4174 I told the vet I wanted to be able to reach my money maker! 1.2683 0.05768 82 63 16 3
4175 I put mine on by myself, then I go hide 1.2683 0.05501 82 62 18 2
4176 I think we can help each other. 1.2683 0.05768 82 63 16 3
4177 I’m trying to stop biting my nails. 1.2683 0.05768 82 63 16 3
4178 I got mine on Amazon. 1.2683 0.06023 82 64 14 4
4179 I only wear a collar because the vet said I had to, but there’s actually no study that proves its efficiency covering the face. 1.2683 0.06023 82 64 14 4
4180 I asked for a European cut 1.2683 0.06268 82 65 12 5
4181 Lets agree to disagree, buddy... 1.2683 0.05220 82 61 20 1
4182 It does not protect, but it does make it easier to breathe. 1.2683 0.05768 82 63 16 3
4183 It's from the spring collection. 1.2683 0.06732 82 67 8 7
4184 It took 10,000 hours, but look at me now! 1.2680 0.05773 97 77 14 6
4185 Maybe it's on wrong, but I've gone viral. 1.2680 0.05773 97 77 14 6
4186 If you sniff my butt I'll lick your balls. 1.2680 0.05956 97 78 12 7
4187 Turned the other way around it becomes an accessory. 1.2680 0.05773 97 77 14 6
4188 Try it, a more aerodynamic feel 1.2680 0.05185 97 74 20 3
4189 Let me help you with that. 1.2676 0.04467 71 55 15 1
4190 It's more aerodynamic. 1.2676 0.06640 71 56 11 4
4191 I get two more miles per bowl of food. 1.2676 0.06004 71 54 15 2
4192 It works but I have to walk backwards and talk out of my ass. 1.2676 0.06330 71 55 13 3
4193 There are times when I'm grateful my human has trouble following directions. 1.2676 0.06937 71 57 9 5
4194 Stumbling into that wind tunnel was the best thing that ever happened to me! 1.2676 0.06640 71 56 11 4
4195 Is that me in the mirror? 1.2676 0.07495 71 59 5 7
4196 Just stick your head out the window once you're on the freeway... 1.2676 0.06640 71 56 11 4
4197 I'm guessing that it might have been a nor'easter. 1.2676 0.06330 71 55 13 3
4198 When do you get out of quarantine? 1.2676 0.06640 71 56 11 4
4199 I am already on Phase II 1.2676 0.06330 71 55 13 3
4200 I'm free to slobber while sticking my head outside the open car window. 1.2676 0.06330 71 55 13 3
4201 I find it more flattering this way. 1.2676 0.06004 71 54 15 2
4202 I know but it works great with lobster. 1.2676 0.06004 71 54 15 2
4203 ...and then a lightbulb went on over my head. 1.2676 0.06640 71 56 11 4
4204 Queen Victoria liked it so much, she started wearing one herself. She even let me name it-- ruff. 1.2676 0.06004 71 54 15 2
4205 What are You complaining about? I can still lick Your crotch! 1.2676 0.06937 71 57 9 5
4206 You're an outie and I'm an innie. 1.2676 0.05659 71 53 17 1
4207 That’s the difference between you and me: I wear my collars. Not the other way round. 1.2676 0.06330 71 55 13 3
4208 I’m not hurt, it’s a fashion statement 1.2676 0.06330 71 55 13 3
4209 They told me I am part of a focus group. 1.2676 0.06330 71 55 13 3
4210 We’re just as bad as the humans who can’t figure out how to wear face masks. Oh well. 1.2676 0.06640 71 56 11 4
4211 It would appear we are the perfect fit 1.2676 0.06640 71 56 11 4
4212 This is how all the dogs in Paris wear it. 1.2674 0.05341 86 65 19 2
4213 Psst, buddy, ya got it all wrong 1.2674 0.05591 86 66 17 3
4214 I call it the white-collar crime. 1.2674 0.05830 86 67 15 4
4215 Just don't try to use the dog door. 1.2674 0.06060 86 68 13 5
4216 Don't whine, things will turn around any day now. 1.2674 0.05830 86 67 15 4
4217 I prefer the streamlined look. 1.2674 0.05591 86 66 17 3
4218 Yours is such last year. 1.2674 0.05830 86 67 15 4
4219 Who's the good dog now? 1.2674 0.05830 86 67 15 4
4220 Sooo... Who's the better half now? 1.2674 0.05830 86 67 15 4
4221 This is how they're wearing it in Paris. 1.2674 0.06060 86 68 13 5
4222 That's Reverend Spike please. 1.2674 0.06060 86 68 13 5
4223 Inny or outty? 1.2674 0.06060 86 68 13 5
4224 What? I’m the subwoofer. 1.2674 0.06282 86 69 11 6
4225 I got my second dose last week. 1.2674 0.05591 86 66 17 3
4226 My owner didn't read the instructions. 1.2674 0.05591 86 66 17 3
4227 Weekend! 1.2674 0.06060 86 68 13 5
4228 I think you watched Handmaid’s Tale too often. 1.2674 0.05830 86 67 15 4
4229 We were driving on the interstate, and I stuck my head out the window. 1.2674 0.05830 86 67 15 4
4230 I’m more of a glass half full guy. 1.2674 0.05591 86 66 17 3
4231 Oh yeah, dyslexic owner reading directions. 1.2673 0.05610 101 80 15 6
4232 Try jumping head-first into a toilet. Don't forget to hold your breath. 1.2673 0.05430 101 79 17 5
4233 Sorry, Billy...this one's only for us girls. 1.2673 0.05245 101 78 19 4
4234 with this cone configuration I can still lick the important parts 1.2673 0.04852 101 76 23 2
4235 Trust me- it’s for aerodynamics. 1.2667 0.05870 90 71 14 5
4236 Luckily, my owner lacks spatial awareness. 1.2667 0.05799 75 57 16 2
4237 My owner is dyslexic. He also treats me like a God. 1.2667 0.06391 75 59 12 4
4238 Fine, keep doing the Renaissance accent and stay in denial. I don’t care anymore 1.2667 0.06391 75 59 12 4
4239 It cuts down wind resistance. 1.2667 0.06391 75 59 12 4
4240 My owner requested a cone with a view, for me! 1.2667 0.05071 90 70 17 3
4241 I know opposites attract, but I’m not sure this can work. 1.2667 0.05870 90 71 14 5
4242 I’m more aerodynamic than you! 1.2667 0.05193 90 68 20 2
4243 One of us is way off 1.2667 0.06102 75 58 14 3
4244 You do the hokey pokey. 1.2667 0.05480 75 56 18 1
4245 Your reality is not my reality 1.2667 0.05428 90 69 18 3
4246 My dad never reads instructions. 1.2667 0.06391 75 59 12 4
4247 This protects my inner dog by letting me sniff your butt. 1.2667 0.05799 75 57 16 2
4248 Don’t worry, we all wore our collars up in the 80s. 1.2667 0.06391 75 59 12 4
4249 They could only get the K-9 mask 1.2667 0.05653 90 70 16 4
4250 Aerodynamically speaking, I truly have the bigger advantage! 1.2667 0.05653 90 70 16 4
4251 I just had my ears flattened a little bit. . What’d you have done? 1.2667 0.05480 75 56 18 1
4252 Turn that frown upside down, pal! 1.2667 0.06102 75 58 14 3
4253 Yes, it still works and it’s a lot less shameful. 1.2667 0.05799 75 57 16 2
4254 Let's go behind the sofa and lick each other's wounds. 1.2667 0.05799 75 57 16 2
4255 Oh darling, that is SO last season! 1.2667 0.05870 90 71 14 5
4256 Explain again your theory of how a dog satellite works. 1.2667 0.05799 75 57 16 2
4257 It's my first DIY project. 1.2667 0.05141 75 55 20 0
4258 I thought it would amplify my bark. 1.2667 0.05653 90 70 16 4
4259 its my neck man 1.2667 0.05428 90 69 18 3
4260 See what happens when you lean out the car window 1.2667 0.06079 90 72 12 6
4261 Ever since they made me wear it this way, I can’t pick up SiriusXM. 1.2667 0.05799 75 57 16 2
4262 Wearing it this way gives a slimming effect. 1.2667 0.06102 75 58 14 3
4263 No...I believe in inversion therapy! 1.2667 0.05653 90 70 16 4
4264 "We compromised." 1.2667 0.06102 75 58 14 3
4265 Licking wounds is so last year. 1.2667 0.05428 90 69 18 3
4266 I needed that extra little bit of speed when chasing cars. 1.2667 0.05428 90 69 18 3
4267 I said Shakespeare tongiht, not The Handmaid's Tale. 1.2667 0.06102 75 58 14 3
4268 Getting the lampshade stuck on this way was way harder. 1.2667 0.06102 75 58 14 3
4269 You see, when inverted it's actually a cone of empowerment. 1.2667 0.06391 75 59 12 4
4270 My owner calls it the Funnel of Humiliation. 1.2667 0.05870 90 71 14 5
4271 My human is a Libertarian. 1.2667 0.05870 90 71 14 5
4272 OK, the sonar reception isn't as good , but I never miss that last piece of kibble in my bowl. 1.2667 0.05480 75 56 18 1
4273 Yes, I know how it's supposed to go. I just want everyone to know I'm' a rugged independent sort who doesn't need it to work. 1.2667 0.05428 90 69 18 3
4274 Yeah, I was lucky. I got the new guy. 1.2667 0.06391 75 59 12 4
4275 Yes,it's on backwards. I'm episcopalian 1.2667 0.05428 90 69 18 3
4276 yeah it seems like my whole world is upside down 1.2667 0.06391 75 59 12 4
4277 Looks like you woke up on the wrong side of the cone. 1.2667 0.06102 75 58 14 3
4278 Taxation for the rich. 1.2667 0.06102 75 58 14 3
4279 They were out of capes 1.2667 0.05480 75 56 18 1
4280 Which way is the right way ? It’s all so political these days. 1.2667 0.05653 90 70 16 4
4281 That's weird. The doggy in the mirror is wearing it upside down. 1.2667 0.06079 90 72 12 6
4282 Geez Gary! It’s 2021. The time for cone shaming is over. 1.2667 0.05870 90 71 14 5
4283 My owner likes to think outside the cone. 1.2660 0.04825 94 70 23 1
4284 You gotta grow a tailbone and just ask for a second opinion. 1.2660 0.05278 94 72 19 3
4285 I felt I needed to broaden my perspective. 1.2660 0.05695 94 74 15 5
4286 Elizabethan collars are so passé, it's all about the pilgrim now... 1.2660 0.05056 94 71 21 2
4287 Well all I know is this one had over five thousand five star reviews on Amazon. I’ll have my people send your people the link. 1.2660 0.05892 94 75 13 6
4288 They didn’t say *how* you had to wear it. 1.2660 0.04825 94 70 23 1
4289 I’m sick of people telling me how to live my life. 1.2660 0.04825 94 70 23 1
4290 So I thought I was a lap dog, not a lamp dog. 1.2660 0.05892 94 75 13 6
4291 I kept beating the system. 1.2658 0.05896 79 61 15 3
4292 I have ticks. My vet has dyslexia. 1.2658 0.05896 79 61 15 3
4293 Trust me, I only wear it likes this when I know I can maintain at least six feet's distance from other dogs. 1.2658 0.06670 79 64 9 6
4294 It's called homeopathy. 1.2658 0.05614 79 60 17 2
4295 My doctor's into aerodynamics. 1.2658 0.06165 79 62 13 4
4296 The difference between you and me is I make this look good. 1.2658 0.06423 79 63 11 5
4297 So then I said, if you don't turn it around, I am going to have an "accident". 1.2658 0.06670 79 64 9 6
4298 I’m telling you, you just have to run fast enough! 1.2658 0.05896 79 61 15 3
4299 They told me it would make me faster. 1.2658 0.06423 79 63 11 5
4300 I told them that it was more fuel efficient this way. 1.2658 0.06165 79 62 13 4
4301 Always make friends with tech support. 1.2658 0.06670 79 64 9 6
4302 Social "sniffing" became so awkward, if you know what I mean. 1.2658 0.06423 79 63 11 5
4303 I suggest you take pleasure in the happiness of others 1.2658 0.06165 79 62 13 4
4304 Oh darling! You are so 1590s. 1.2658 0.05614 79 60 17 2
4305 "Your audiologist recommends this over hearing aids?" 1.2658 0.05896 79 61 15 3
4306 I was just adopted by a priest. 1.2658 0.05896 79 61 15 3
4307 With this style and everything they've removed, I'm as aerodynamic as ever! 1.2658 0.05467 79 62 14 3
4308 Less echo and I can lick my balls. 1.2658 0.06670 79 64 9 6
4309 My human makes me walk backwards 1.2658 0.06423 79 63 11 5
4310 I hate these formal affairs. 1.2658 0.06165 79 62 13 4
4311 Is that retro? 1.2658 0.05614 79 60 17 2
4312 In addition to its other benefits, the Sport model offers a sleeker design for lower wind resistance. 1.2658 0.05614 79 60 17 2
4313 It’s shaved 3 seconds off my 100-yard dash 1.2658 0.05896 79 61 15 3
4314 Nah, I'm good. A new trick at my age looks desperate. You'll understand once you're in your 8s. 1.2658 0.06165 79 62 13 4
4315 Yo! Back to butt-sniffin', baby! 1.2658 0.05896 79 61 15 3
4316 Frank, I wear it this way for style 1.2658 0.06165 79 62 13 4
4317 More aerodynamic this way, Bob. 1.2658 0.06165 79 62 13 4
4318 It’s OK to wear it like this because we’re six paws apart 1.2658 0.05614 79 60 17 2
4319 See, this way I can still scratch my wounds. 1.2658 0.05614 79 60 17 2
4320 If you wear it that way, you look like Rudy Giuliani. 1.2658 0.06165 79 62 13 4
4321 Hey, its you! From the future. 1.2658 0.06165 79 62 13 4
4322 If you bark loud enough, it turns inside-out. 1.2658 0.06165 79 62 13 4
4323 Conflicting labs 1.2658 0.06670 79 64 9 6
4324 I get better service this way. 1.2658 0.05896 79 61 15 3
4325 I feel kinda shameless. 1.2658 0.06165 79 62 13 4
4326 I thought the preppy look went out in the '80's! 1.2656 0.06771 64 50 11 3
4327 It's the European model... 1.2656 0.07128 64 51 9 4
4328 Religious exemption. I claimed Puritan. 1.2656 0.06771 64 50 11 3
4329 I'll play a Puritan What part are you going to play? 1.2656 0.07128 64 51 9 4
4330 The sound is not as good, but the picture is much better. 1.2656 0.06394 64 49 13 2
4331 I'm eating lobster, what are you doing? 1.2656 0.07468 64 52 7 5
4332 It’s just a fashion thing. 1.2656 0.06394 64 49 13 2
4333 More aerodynamic, less drag. And I can still lick my own balls.” 1.2653 0.06077 98 80 10 8
4334 They let me put it on by myself! 1.2653 0.05533 98 77 16 5
4335 It isn't a shame if you wear it this way 1.2653 0.04930 98 74 22 2
4336 Mine's only for cosmetic purposes. Yours? 1.2653 0.05139 98 75 20 3
4337 You have your tutu on backwards 1.2653 0.05533 98 77 16 5
4338 If you really want to be the life of the party, wear it like this. 1.2651 0.06201 83 66 12 5
4339 My vet's Australian. 1.2651 0.05959 83 65 14 4
4340 This way, I can have dinner, bit still not reach my hemorrhoid 1.2651 0.05959 83 65 14 4
4341 I'm potty trained, too. 1.2651 0.05707 83 64 16 3
4342 You're in control--not them. 1.2651 0.05707 83 64 16 3
4343 I have to say that it's broadened my horizon. 1.2651 0.06201 83 66 12 5
4344 So, your dog-parent must be an introvert? 1.2651 0.05444 83 63 18 2
4345 You walked into a lamp and I had one fall on me! What're the odds? 1.2651 0.05707 83 64 16 3
4346 Run fast and it'll turn inside out. 1.2651 0.05959 83 65 14 4
4347 Be honest: Does this make my butt smell big? 1.2651 0.05959 83 65 14 4
4348 That’s so “purebred.” This is how they’re wearing it in the ‘pound. 1.2651 0.05707 83 64 16 3
4349 Better to attack the lamp from underneath. 1.2651 0.05959 83 65 14 4
4350 Budget Vet Shop." "Why, where did you get yours? 1.2651 0.05444 83 63 18 2
4351 You are suppose to wear it like this after Labor Day. 1.2651 0.05959 83 65 14 4
4352 My issue is more of a backing up thing... 1.2651 0.05167 83 62 20 1
4353 Just slip your head out, lick the itchy spot, then slip your head back in. They'll never know you did it. 1.2651 0.05959 83 65 14 4
4354 The Paris show was spectacular! 1.2651 0.05444 83 63 18 2
4355 Well now that just looks stupid. 1.2651 0.06201 83 66 12 5
4356 Then it’s true - opposites DO attract!! 1.2651 0.06433 83 67 10 6
4357 First time racer, huh? 1.2651 0.06201 83 66 12 5
4358 Ah, I see you have the new 2021 model. 1.2651 0.05959 83 65 14 4
4359 Looks like you’ve got an innie; mine’s an outie. 1.2651 0.05444 83 63 18 2
4360 They say versatility is the best measurement of style 1.2651 0.05444 83 63 18 2
4361 Are you in or are you out? 1.2651 0.06201 83 66 12 5
4362 Wait, what? You're telling me yours isn't a costume? 1.2647 0.05783 68 51 16 1
4363 It's aerodynamic, so I catch more cars! 1.2647 0.05783 68 51 16 1
4364 For me, it's more of a statement piece. 1.2647 0.06151 68 52 14 2
4365 I think mine makes me look more slimming 1.2647 0.05783 68 51 16 1
4366 That is soooo last year! 1.2647 0.06151 68 52 14 2
4367 Aerodynamics, dude. 1.2647 0.06151 68 52 14 2
4368 It's the Elon Musk Model. 1.2647 0.07141 68 55 8 5
4369 Aerodynamically speaking, this is the way to go. 1.2647 0.06151 68 52 14 2
4370 My vet just saw The Crucible. 1.2647 0.05732 102 82 13 7
4371 I got my shots. 1.2647 0.05383 102 80 17 5
4372 1st of all this is a cape, not a collar 1.2647 0.05783 68 51 16 1
4373 You see, it's all about perspective 1.2644 0.05998 87 69 13 5
4374 This is less emasculating. 1.2644 0.05535 87 67 17 3
4375 One obedience class and I came right out of that shame spiral. 1.2644 0.05535 87 67 17 3
4376 Hey, the '80s are calling. They want their collar back. 1.2644 0.05535 87 67 17 3
4377 I think of it as avant "guard." 1.2644 0.05288 87 66 19 2
4378 Whoa, Dude! Where have you been? That is so "last year's" look. 1.2644 0.05029 87 65 21 1
4379 I like to think I’m an innovator. 1.2644 0.05288 87 66 19 2
4380 I told you not to blow dry 1.2644 0.05535 87 67 17 3
4381 I promised to do 10 downward dogs for this. Totally worth it. 1.2644 0.05535 87 67 17 3
4382 It's a funnel of pride, if you ask me.... 1.2644 0.05535 87 67 17 3
4383 Hey baby...they say opposites attract 1.2644 0.06428 87 71 9 7
4384 I call it the Pilgrim model. 1.2644 0.05771 87 68 15 4
4385 No really, this is how the kids are wearing them now. 1.2644 0.05288 87 66 19 2
4386 And this way, you are a lot more aero-dynamic. 1.2644 0.05288 87 66 19 2
4387 Two words: Looks better. 1.2644 0.05288 87 66 19 2
4388 I like to live outside the cone. 1.2644 0.05535 87 67 17 3
4389 Ever hear of Quid Pro Quo? 1.2644 0.06217 87 70 11 6
4390 At last, my perfect match. 1.2644 0.05288 87 66 19 2
4391 I find I can eat more and take far fewer baths wearing it this way. 1.2644 0.05029 87 65 21 1
4392 No, it isn’t to stop me scratching, I’m a Brigidine nun. 1.2644 0.05771 87 68 15 4
4393 you turn around first, then me 1.2644 0.05771 87 68 15 4
4394 Great idea! Let’s go for ice cream... cup or cone? 1.2644 0.05535 87 67 17 3
4395 You watch my back, I’ll watch yours. 1.2644 0.06217 87 70 11 6
4396 That’s cool, that’s cool, I like New York Coney Dog style too. 1.2644 0.05288 87 66 19 2
4397 Much better. Now nobody will think we showed up in the same outfit. 1.2639 0.05932 72 55 15 2
4398 No, I'm fine, just part of the clergy. 1.2639 0.05592 72 54 17 1
4399 Handmaid's tail" new seaso 1.2639 0.07130 72 59 7 6
4400 All you have to do is give your owner a few belly rubs 1.2639 0.05932 72 55 15 2
4401 No, when the cone is forward , like that, is means you are a tone-deaf Republican. Mine means I am a sensitive, listening Democrat. 1.2639 0.06558 72 57 11 4
4402 ...same way I figured out how to hang toilet paper-- I read the patent. 1.2639 0.06558 72 57 11 4
4403 It's blowing a gale out there. 1.2639 0.05231 72 53 19 0
4404 Misery loves company... I can't groom myself either. 1.2639 0.05932 72 55 15 2
4405 There’s the practical, and there’s the avant-garde. 1.2639 0.05592 72 54 17 1
4406 No,really! You just head into the wind and run as fast as you can! 1.2639 0.06253 72 56 13 3
4407 It's made me realize what's important: squirrels. 1.2639 0.06253 72 56 13 3
4408 This? Just a lampshade from a party last night. 1.2639 0.06558 72 57 11 4
4409 Popped collars were so last season. 1.2639 0.06850 72 58 9 5
4410 It’s the new dog door style. 1.2639 0.05932 72 55 15 2
4411 You won't believe your peripheral vision! 1.2639 0.05932 72 55 15 2
4412 One of us is wrong! 1.2639 0.06558 72 57 11 4
4413 You complete me,Julian. 1.2639 0.06558 72 57 11 4
4414 It's because mine was designed by a dog, not by a human. 1.2639 0.06558 72 57 11 4
4415 I reverse-engineered the thing for a streamlined look. 1.2639 0.06253 72 56 13 3
4416 You'll never get a tan if you wear it like that 1.2639 0.05932 72 55 15 2
4417 Listen paul, I still cant get to that itch on my rear end but man have things really quieted down. 1.2639 0.06253 72 56 13 3
4418 No wonder you're not picking up any stations. 1.2639 0.05932 72 55 15 2
4419 No, I got whiplash trying to catch a Frisbee. 1.2637 0.05376 91 70 18 3
4420 Give me a treat and I will lick where you cannot. 1.2637 0.06600 91 76 6 9
4421 Hides my wattle. 1.2637 0.05144 91 69 20 2
4422 Oh, I like that...your bark must be awesome. 1.2637 0.04901 91 68 22 1
4423 Oh you bet I’ve tried. Still can’t reach though. 1.2637 0.06019 91 73 12 6
4424 Obviously I'm the EXTROVERT! 1.2637 0.05813 91 72 14 5
4425 What? I'm a chaplain. 1.2637 0.05599 91 71 16 4
4426 Yours is a Cone of Shame. Mine is a collar. 1.2637 0.05813 91 72 14 5
4427 Haven’t you heard? 1.2637 0.05599 91 71 16 4
4428 Well , what'd you think , I just wrapped up my virtual vet visit" Laura Ferenci , Minneapolis Minnesot 1.2637 0.05144 91 69 20 2
4429 Still captive to the prevailing cultural paradigm, are we? 1.2637 0.05813 91 72 14 5
4430 I'm the good pilgrim. 1.2637 0.05376 91 70 18 3
4431 Oh my ‘dog’ backwards 1.2637 0.05376 91 70 18 3
4432 I know about the microchip, but what about my rights? 1.2637 0.06218 91 74 10 7
4433 My mistake. I'm a priest and assumed you were a nun. 1.2632 0.06032 76 59 14 3
4434 You know the difference between you and me? I make this look good. 1.2632 0.05419 76 57 18 1
4435 I got de-barked, but I still have my nuts. 1.2632 0.07343 76 64 4 8
4436 It's for a formal occasion. 1.2632 0.05733 76 58 16 2
4437 I wish I was extroverted like you. 1.2632 0.05419 76 57 18 1
4438 I’m Ying. You must be Yang. 1.2632 0.06032 76 59 14 3
4439 To hell with gender norms, am I right? 1.2632 0.05733 76 58 16 2
4440 That's so 17th century! Why be Cotton Mather when you can be RBG? 1.2632 0.07100 76 63 6 7
4441 They say I'm built for speed. 1.2632 0.06588 76 61 10 5
4442 They're right. You do look like a silly lamp. 1.2632 0.06316 76 60 12 4
4443 And then you do the Hokey Pokey and you turn yourself around! 1.2632 0.05733 76 58 16 2
4444 Look, my human's dumber than yours. Sometimes, that breaks your way. Sometimes, it breaks my way. 1.2632 0.06032 76 59 14 3
4445 My vet is a bit dyslexic. Not a problem except when it’s time for him to clean my teeth. 1.2632 0.06316 76 60 12 4
4446 Aerodynamically it’s brilliant... 1.2632 0.06316 76 60 12 4
4447 Aerodynamics is the new black. 1.2632 0.05419 76 57 18 1
4448 It's better to see a left handed Veterinarian 1.2632 0.05439 95 74 17 4
4449 I got my first shot, so I'm in decreased isolation. 1.2632 0.05733 76 58 16 2
4450 Let me guess, you wear your mask over your nose too don’t you? 1.2632 0.07100 76 63 6 7
4451 Oh, so you have an 'outie'! 1.2632 0.06032 76 59 14 3
4452 Thank goodness for my dyslexic vet. 1.2632 0.06032 76 59 14 3
4453 Mom says some have an innie and some have an outie 1.2632 0.05011 95 72 21 2
4454 I figured it out in my yoga class. 1.2632 0.05733 76 58 16 2
4455 I like how yours minimizes the jowls, but my problem area is a flabby chest. 1.2632 0.06032 76 59 14 3
4456 I'm bad to the cone. 1.2632 0.05229 95 73 19 3
4457 Take your pet to work day at the wind tunnel 1.2632 0.05229 95 73 19 3
4458 HERETIC!!!! 1.2632 0.07309 57 45 9 3
4459 Mine's an original Vera Wong 1.2632 0.05439 95 74 17 4
4460 It is my body that must be shamed, not my mind. 1.2632 0.06316 76 60 12 4
4461 It’s called fashion sweetie, look it up 1.2632 0.06032 76 59 14 3
4462 Theoretically speaking.. both ways prevent us from looking at or licking our butts 1.2632 0.05439 95 74 17 4
4463 But all my friends wear their lamps backwards now, dad! 1.2632 0.05733 76 60 13 3
4464 Fashion over function 1.2632 0.06032 76 59 14 3
4465 I’m warning you. It’s really windy out there. 1.2632 0.05641 95 75 15 5
4466 Yeah, I'm from down under, how'd you know? 1.2632 0.07100 76 63 6 7
4467 You gotta watch your back with all these variants, Tom 1.2632 0.06316 76 60 12 4
4468 I was acquitted by the Senate. 1.2626 0.05483 99 78 16 5
4469 'Wanna snuggle?' 1.2626 0.04671 99 74 24 1
4470 Conflicted?” “No. Convexed. 1.2626 0.05094 99 76 20 3
4471 There have been no studies that show that pet cones actually work. 1.2625 0.05553 80 63 14 3
4472 So you’re a inie. 1.2625 0.05831 80 62 15 3
4473 So, I told Biff, “no more New Year’s Eve parties.” 1.2625 0.05260 80 60 19 1
4474 It’s my right to wear it any way that I want to! 1.2625 0.05260 80 60 19 1
4475 I always wanted to be a dog of a different collar. 1.2625 0.05260 80 60 19 1
4476 Don't laugh....guess who's not getting in the doggy door? 1.2625 0.06096 80 63 13 4
4477 Wow. Your party was even better. 1.2625 0.05831 80 62 15 3
4478 It cuts down on wind resistance, so I'm quickest to the supper dish. 1.2625 0.05260 80 60 19 1
4479 I know. I'm tired of hearing: Lampdog, light up my life. 1.2625 0.06595 80 65 9 6
4480 Pal,you need a second opinion. 1.2625 0.05553 80 61 17 2
4481 Everything was just getting too loud. 1.2625 0.05831 80 62 15 3
4482 Chill out, I've already been vaccinated! 1.2625 0.06096 80 63 13 4
4483 This is SO in, it is out. 1.2625 0.06096 80 63 13 4
4484 Helluva wind... 1.2625 0.05831 80 62 15 3
4485 It's nice having an owner who's dyslexic. 1.2625 0.05831 80 62 15 3
4486 I feel free not to lick my wounds. 1.2625 0.05831 80 62 15 3
4487 I prefer tail winds. 1.2625 0.05553 80 61 17 2
4488 One of us tied one on. 1.2625 0.06350 80 64 11 5
4489 It means you're an introvert and I'm an extrovert! 1.2625 0.06595 80 65 9 6
4490 I can lick your balls for you if you want? 1.2625 0.06350 80 64 11 5
4491 If I wear it that way, it makes my haunches look big. 1.2625 0.05553 80 61 17 2
4492 You see? It doesn’t have to be a cone of shame. Mine says: I’m joining the clergy! 1.2625 0.05260 80 62 16 2
4493 I’m done having pups, anyway. Wanna Netflix and chill? 1.2625 0.06350 80 64 11 5
4494 Intelligence is subjective. 1.2625 0.05553 80 61 17 2
4495 Nobody can tell me how I should wear it 1.2625 0.05831 80 62 15 3
4496 Apparently it’s called reverse psychology. 1.2625 0.06595 80 65 9 6
4497 ChewAnon says the government can’t control us this way 1.2625 0.06350 80 64 11 5
4498 It’s a Cone of Fame. I’m subverting expectations. 1.2625 0.05831 80 62 15 3
4499 Apparently, you haven't seen the latest issue of Vogue yet. 1.2623 0.07718 61 50 6 5
4500 Definitely a rookie mistake 1.2623 0.05679 61 45 16 0
4501 I'm an innie. 1.2621 0.05155 103 80 19 4
4502 I can lick that for you 1.2621 0.05337 103 81 17 5
4503 A trick I learned on YouTube. 1.2619 0.05388 84 64 18 2
4504 No more ring around the collar. 1.2619 0.05648 84 65 16 3
4505 This way I can still kiss ass. 1.2619 0.05896 84 66 14 4
4506 When you turn it around it becomes a fashion statement. 1.2619 0.06364 84 68 10 6
4507 They told me I need to be more aerodynamic if I ever want to make it to the fetch championships. 1.2619 0.05388 84 64 18 2
4508 I can pick up a WiFi signal much better this way. 1.2619 0.05388 84 64 18 2
4509 It’s not about scratching. It’s about aerodynamics. 1.2619 0.05896 84 66 14 4
4510 My human's kinda dumb. 1.2619 0.06135 84 67 12 5
4511 I refuse to live in shame. 1.2619 0.05896 84 66 14 4
4512 Being in cone-valescence isn't so bad! 1.2619 0.05648 84 65 16 3
4513 They don’t know how to use a thermometer either! J T Brookman 1.2619 0.05648 84 65 16 3
4514 Who does this to their 'best friend'" 1.2619 0.05648 84 65 16 3
4515 No, I still can't.... but at least I can see a lot better. 1.2619 0.05115 84 63 20 1
4516 It wasn’t the vet. I just walked into a lampshade. 1.2619 0.06135 84 67 12 5
4517 ...this way is better for eating spaghetti! 1.2619 0.05648 84 65 16 3
4518 No, not fleas. Sisters of Mercy. 1.2619 0.05648 84 65 16 3
4519 Accident or not - I am pointedly much more self-directed now. 1.2619 0.05896 84 66 14 4
4520 That free "Intro to Aerodynamics" MIT course I took has really changed my life. 1.2619 0.06135 84 67 12 5
4521 Have you seen my monocle? 1.2619 0.05648 84 65 16 3
4522 Listen, dumb-ass, it works just as well THIS way and you don’t have to whack into the furniture. 1.2619 0.05896 84 66 14 4
4523 I see you're single. 1.2619 0.05648 84 65 16 3
4524 How'd you know I'm Catholic? 1.2619 0.06364 84 68 10 6
4525 We're perfect for each other! 1.2619 0.05896 84 66 14 4
4526 OK...I'm an extrovert and you're an introvert. Let's just leave it at that! 1.2619 0.05896 84 66 14 4
4527 This way it hides your ID tag. You wouldn't believe how much personal information they put on there. 1.2619 0.05388 84 64 18 2
4528 You're gonna have to run like the wind, but if I can do it so can you. 1.2619 0.05388 84 64 18 2
4529 How's your peripheral vision? 1.2619 0.05896 84 66 14 4
4530 da Vinci may have been smart, but he always put his dog's collar on wrong 1.2619 0.05648 84 65 16 3
4531 I like your thinking but you still can't lick em 1.2619 0.06364 84 68 10 6
4532 It’s liberating and easier to eat! 1.2619 0.04519 84 66 16 2
4533 Call me an opportunist, but sometimes you just have to run with how the wind blows! 1.2619 0.06135 84 67 12 5
4534 My owner has backwards views on animal rights. 1.2615 0.06678 65 51 11 3
4535 I had a different procedure. Have you ever regretted a neck tattoo? 1.2615 0.06308 65 50 13 2
4536 I just turned my "cone of shame" inside out, and I feel better already. 1.2615 0.06308 65 50 13 2
4537 The vet said I’m cured 1.2615 0.06308 65 50 13 2
4538 Helps me run faster 1.2615 0.07029 65 52 9 4
4539 No,it's sexy. Only about 10% are outies. 1.2615 0.06678 65 51 11 3
4540 Don't listen to what the vet says. It's much easier to breathe this way. 1.2615 0.06678 65 51 11 3
4541 My guy is in Brooklyn. You probably haven't heard of him 1.2615 0.06115 65 52 10 3
4542 Well...I'm more of an extrovert. 1.2615 0.05915 65 49 15 1
4543 I finally learned a useful trick. 1.2614 0.05480 88 68 17 3
4544 Wanna race? 1.2614 0.05937 88 70 13 5
4545 Didn't you get the memo? 1.2614 0.05937 88 70 13 5
4546 I don't date outies. 1.2614 0.05236 88 67 19 2
4547 Fashion is cyclical, Ralph. 1.2614 0.05480 88 68 17 3
4548 For me,it's all about fashion. 1.2614 0.05236 88 67 19 2
4549 Don’t worry. That style will come back around eventually. 1.2614 0.05480 88 68 17 3
4550 My master wears his face mask backwards too. 1.2614 0.05480 88 68 17 3
4551 I've only got a bronze health care policy. 1.2614 0.05480 88 68 17 3
4552 Just stay six feet away and no licking. 1.2614 0.05236 88 67 19 2
4553 Yes,I have internet connection! 1.2614 0.05480 88 68 17 3
4554 You scratch my back, l'll scratch.... well, your front. 1.2614 0.05480 88 68 17 3
4555 We use different facts 1.2614 0.05236 88 67 19 2
4556 This is how cool dogs uses it nowadays 1.2614 0.05937 88 70 13 5
4557 Does this make my tail look small? 1.2614 0.06153 88 71 11 6
4558 We’ve had the aerodynamics all wrong! 1.2609 0.04856 92 69 22 1
4559 But will yours protect you from the Jewish space lasers? 1.2609 0.06073 69 53 14 2
4560 Just came from London. You’re still a year behind. 1.2609 0.05711 69 52 16 1
4561 Well, mate, this is how they do it south of the equator. 1.2609 0.06073 69 53 14 2
4562 My way there's less wind resistance. 1.2609 0.05711 69 52 16 1
4563 You scratch my back, I'll lick your nose. 1.2609 0.05756 92 73 14 5
4564 Simple! You chew my leg--I chew yours! 1.2609 0.05545 92 72 16 4
4565 If there's a tail wind, I can't lose. 1.2609 0.05756 92 73 14 5
4566 yeah, it's so last year 1.2609 0.05325 92 71 18 3
4567 I can trace my pedigree all the way back to the Mayflower! 1.2609 0.06073 69 53 14 2
4568 The cone-over just makes you look older. 1.2609 0.06414 69 54 12 3
4569 Hi - Isn't this a Bitch ? 1.2609 0.05711 69 52 16 1
4570 Here's the deal. I say bow, you say wow. We'll be a sensation on You Tube. 1.2609 0.05325 92 71 18 3
4571 My veterinarian is dyslectic. 1.2609 0.06157 92 75 10 7
4572 It doesn’t hold as much kibble, but it’s faster! 1.2609 0.04856 92 69 22 1
4573 So you don't wish to know who fathers your puppies? 1.2609 0.05756 92 73 14 5
4574 I scored; my owner didn't follow the directions. 1.2609 0.05960 92 74 12 6
4575 I got the idea from French Vogue for Dogs. 1.2609 0.05325 92 71 18 3
4576 So who's the innie and who's the outie? 1.2609 0.05325 92 71 18 3
4577 It's like putting your condom on inside out. It still works, sort of. 1.2609 0.05960 92 74 12 6
4578 My vet is a cone head. Yours must be a conventional Elisabethean. 1.2609 0.07048 69 56 8 5
4579 It’s all about speed, Charlie, speed. 1.2609 0.05711 69 52 16 1
4580 Darling. That’s so last season 1.2609 0.06414 69 54 12 3
4581 I doubt you could do it in your condition. 1.2609 0.06073 69 53 14 2
4582 They’re young and overthought it. 1.2609 0.06073 69 53 14 2
4583 Still waiting on your second dose of the vaccine I see 1.2609 0.05545 92 72 16 4
4584 Dude, that is so last year 1.2609 0.05711 69 52 16 1
4585 That's just what your vet wants you to believe 1.2609 0.05545 92 72 16 4
4586 But mine is chic. You look like a fugitive from "The Handmaid's Tale." 1.2604 0.05182 96 74 19 3
4587 A magician never tells. 1.2604 0.04966 96 73 21 2
4588 It happened when I stuck my neck out! 1.2604 0.05589 96 76 15 5
4589 My owner is more Elizabethan than Puritan. 1.2604 0.05782 96 77 13 6
4590 ah Southern Hemisphere? 1.2604 0.06150 96 79 9 8
4591 The aerodynamics are much better this way. 1.2603 0.06478 73 58 11 4
4592 Just say two Hail Marys and give yourself a bone 1.2603 0.06177 73 57 13 3
4593 And my owner wears his mask on his chin. 1.2603 0.06478 73 58 11 4
4594 ...and so this is how I got the lion to think he had the upper hand 1.2603 0.05861 73 56 15 2
4595 I once had tunnel vision like you, but then a strong wind convinced me I had it all backwards." 1.2603 0.06765 73 59 9 5
4596 Try again but this time run faster! 1.2603 0.06478 73 58 11 4
4597 Yeah I know, plus sometimes I wonder about his diagnostic skills. 1.2603 0.06478 73 58 11 4
4598 Next time I recommend a dyslexic vet 1.2603 0.05861 73 56 15 2
4599 Just face into the wind and it flips back and all is good. 1.2603 0.05861 73 56 15 2
4600 Well the ASPCA said it’s 95% safe if I double up with an N95 cone underneath. 1.2603 0.05861 73 56 15 2
4601 With Zoom, it's all about lighting. 1.2603 0.06478 73 58 11 4
4602 This is why our intelligence is questioned to begin with 1.2603 0.06177 73 57 13 3
4603 The vet said, "Which collar? The Elizabethan or the Marquis de Sade?" I chose the Elizabethan. 1.2603 0.06177 73 57 13 3
4604 ‘Lucky you, I wasn’t given an option.’ 1.2603 0.05861 73 56 15 2
4605 Don't get MediCur, the coverage is terrible! 1.2603 0.05861 73 56 15 2
4606 I see you're going indognito! 1.2603 0.05861 73 56 15 2
4607 Of course your mind would go to that. 1.2603 0.06177 73 57 13 3
4608 I’m really into peripheral vision. Plus, my profile is my best feature. 1.2603 0.06478 73 58 11 4
4609 So nice to be a bad boy for a change. 1.2603 0.06177 73 57 13 3
4610 I’m an innie and you’re an outie. So what’s the problem? 1.2600 0.05049 100 77 20 3
4611 You need to be facing into the wind. 1.2600 0.05049 100 77 20 3
4612 Head dive into a flower pot....how about you? 1.2600 0.05435 100 79 16 5
4613 It's the lastest trend, all the French Poodles are doing it. 1.2597 0.05963 77 60 14 3
4614 Cats consider these things a fashion statement 1.2597 0.05963 77 60 14 3
4615 Goes with the tail. More aerodynamic too! 1.2597 0.06511 77 62 10 5
4616 My owner is into conspiracy theories 1.2597 0.05669 77 59 16 2
4617 It’s my ‘contrarian cone of shame’ 1.2597 0.06511 77 62 10 5
4618 It didn’t fit around my waist. 1.2597 0.05030 77 62 12 3
4619 This is how I say "Stick it to the man! 1.2597 0.05963 77 60 14 3
4620 You think? 1.2597 0.06511 77 62 10 5
4621 Well I have always thought of myself as a bit of a peripheral visionary... 1.2597 0.06511 77 62 10 5
4622 Wearing it this way makes me look slimmer. 1.2597 0.06243 77 61 12 4
4623 It kind of makes me look like a super hero! 1.2597 0.05963 77 60 14 3
4624 My ancestors came on the Mayflower. Woof! 1.2597 0.06243 77 61 12 4
4625 " It's a show of solidarity with none of the stitches. 1.2597 0.06511 77 62 10 5
4626 i prefer the aerodynamic sleek look 1.2597 0.05963 77 60 14 3
4627 I got my second shot. 1.2597 0.06511 77 62 10 5
4628 You are a perfect fit for me! 1.2597 0.06511 77 62 10 5
4629 It means you've been identified as a bite risk. 1.2597 0.05359 77 58 18 1
4630 No, no, no, it's super easy. Just walk straight into the wind. 1.2597 0.06511 77 62 10 5
4631 It’s easy. Just watch my YouTube video. 1.2597 0.05963 77 60 14 3
4632 You don’t have to live like that. 1.2597 0.05963 77 60 14 3
4633 Each dog says to the other dog at the same time. "You have it on backwards. You have it on backwards." 1.2597 0.05669 77 59 16 2
4634 I think we can help out each other. 1.2597 0.05963 77 60 14 3
4635 Mine's not from the vet. It's from the Met—there's a new Rembrandt retrospective. 1.2597 0.05963 77 60 14 3
4636 Clearly, we have different tastes in fashion. 1.2597 0.05963 77 60 14 3
4637 I got my vaccine today! 1.2597 0.05963 77 60 14 3
4638 Well, my owner was the 45th president of the United States and he said I could wear it any way I want. 1.2597 0.06243 77 61 12 4
4639 It reduces drag this way. 1.2597 0.05669 77 59 16 2
4640 That bad, huh? 1.2597 0.05669 77 59 16 2
4641 Have you seen the movie, “Coneheads”? 1.2597 0.05030 77 57 20 0
4642 I find life much easier as a Puritan. 1.2597 0.05963 77 60 14 3
4643 You put it on head first you dummy... 1.2597 0.05669 77 59 16 2
4644 I don’t know why, but the girls dig it. 1.2593 0.05768 81 63 15 3
4645 Mine’s a post-modern fashion statement. 1.2593 0.05493 81 62 17 2
4646 it's backward but it's fashion forward 1.2593 0.06521 81 66 9 6
4647 The aerodynamics are terrific. 1.2593 0.06029 81 64 13 4
4648 Hey that was some party, wasn't it 1.2593 0.06280 81 65 11 5
4649 See? I’ve got an outie! 1.2593 0.06029 81 64 13 4
4650 You say hello and I say goodbye! 1.2593 0.06521 81 66 9 6
4651 ...then, I said to myself, "Why not think outside the box?" 1.2593 0.06280 81 65 11 5
4652 Sometimes it’s just a matter of perspective. 1.2593 0.06029 81 64 13 4
4653 I'm training my human to compromise. 1.2593 0.05493 81 62 17 2
4654 Seeing is believing. 1.2593 0.06029 81 64 13 4
4655 "Wow, an outie. Most of us are innies." 1.2593 0.06280 81 65 11 5
4656 All the MAGA supporters are wearing it this way now. 1.2593 0.06029 81 64 13 4
4657 Hi Rex. We just got back from IKEA. My owner is going to assemble new kitchen cabinets. 1.2593 0.06280 81 65 11 5
4658 That's last season, Champ 1.2593 0.06029 81 64 13 4
4659 Oprah says, "Turn your problems around!" 1.2593 0.06280 81 65 11 5
4660 Hi buddy just face the wind and you can have this too. 1.2593 0.05768 81 63 15 3
4661 I see you got your second shot already. 1.2593 0.05768 81 63 15 3
4662 It's not a bad look, actually. But how's your peripheral vision? 1.2593 0.04900 81 60 21 0
4663 You must be from the east side of the park! 1.2593 0.05493 81 62 17 2
4664 My owner’s dyslexic, and I didn’t want to rub his nose in it. 1.2593 0.06280 81 65 11 5
4665 They only said I had to WEAR one... 1.2593 0.05768 81 63 15 3
4666 Mine is a fashion statement. 1.2589 0.05190 112 89 17 6
4667 Really? The preppy popped collar look? 1.2588 0.06296 85 69 10 6
4668 My bark is worse. 1.2588 0.05835 85 67 14 4
4669 My vet is dyslexic. But on the plus side, she treats me like a god. 1.2588 0.06296 85 69 10 6
4670 Gesundheit!!...and thanks! 1.2588 0.06296 85 69 10 6
4671 Did you get caught jumping through a lamp, too? 1.2588 0.06070 85 68 12 5
4672 No, you scratch my neck first, then I’ll rub your nose. 1.2588 0.05333 85 65 18 2
4673 It’s the 2021 model - sleek, aerodynamic, and doubles as a lobster bib! 1.2588 0.05333 85 65 18 2
4674 Are you an inny or an outy? 1.2588 0.05333 85 65 18 2
4675 Breast implants, you? 1.2588 0.05589 85 66 16 3
4676 Optimist, pessimist - either way we’re still going to the vet. 1.2588 0.05333 85 65 18 2
4677 Dragon capsule to Space Station, 1 meter to docking. 1.2588 0.05333 85 65 18 2
4678 I still can't lick the stitches but I can smell your butt. Fair trade. 1.2588 0.05589 85 66 16 3
4679 I am back to a two minute mile this way. 1.2588 0.05589 85 66 16 3
4680 Mike and Bill both hallucinate a lot. They think I’m a table lamp and you’re a floor lamp. 1.2588 0.06515 85 70 8 7
4681 It's supposed to be worn as a cape, not a turtle neck. 1.2588 0.05589 85 66 16 3
4682 Aerodynamically speaking, you're a joke. 1.2588 0.05953 85 70 9 6
4683 I was feeling so convex today! 1.2588 0.06070 85 68 12 5
4684 My telehealtb visit went poorly. 1.2588 0.06070 85 68 12 5
4685 I'm modeling a tailored Elizabethan collar look. 1.2588 0.05835 85 67 14 4
4686 I much prefer the old-fashioned button down collar. 1.2588 0.05063 85 64 20 1
4687 I’m Non-denominational now. 1.2588 0.05589 85 66 16 3
4688 I’ve always been more of a right-brain sort of dog. 1.2588 0.05463 85 68 13 4
4689 It's so my body doesn't touch my face. 1.2588 0.05333 85 65 18 2
4690 I just got tired of scooping up my own messes 1.2588 0.05589 85 66 16 3
4691 I’m a fan of The Handmaid’s Tail. 1.2588 0.05835 85 67 14 4
4692 My Dogecone investment has really turned around 1.2588 0.06070 85 68 12 5
4693 In our convent everyone wears them this way! 1.2584 0.05656 89 70 15 4
4694 Is that lipstick on your collar? 1.2584 0.05878 89 71 13 5
4695 Mine's a lampshade. 1.2584 0.05426 89 69 17 3
4696 They got me the Streamliner 200 model. 1.2584 0.05426 89 69 17 3
4697 Try running really fast. 1.2584 0.05878 89 71 13 5
4698 You say tomato, I say tomahto... 1.2584 0.05185 89 68 19 2
4699 Haven't you heard? Elizabethan ruffs are trending again. 1.2584 0.06497 89 74 7 8
4700 Amish Lady and the Tramp 1.2584 0.05656 89 70 15 4
4701 Whiplash. 1.2584 0.05185 89 68 19 2
4702 But mine is more slimming. 1.2584 0.05185 89 68 19 2
4703 Yes, but this way is more aerodynamic. 1.2584 0.05878 89 71 13 5
4704 I am part dingo. 1.2584 0.05426 89 69 17 3
4705 Female. Male 1.2584 0.06297 89 73 9 7
4706 My master's a half-masker. 1.2584 0.05656 89 70 15 4
4707 I still can't lick myself, but the design change is letting me get to the frisbee much quicker. 1.2584 0.05185 89 68 19 2
4708 It's all about undoing shame. 1.2584 0.05656 89 70 15 4
4709 Have you heard of aerodynamics? 1.2584 0.05426 89 69 17 3
4710 That Handmaid's Tale number looks fab on you, darling! 1.2584 0.05185 89 68 19 2
4711 OK, here’s the plan, you scratch my back and I’ll scratch yours. 1.2584 0.05656 89 70 15 4
4712 My owner`s stupid, that`s why. 1.2584 0.06091 89 72 11 6
4713 I tried to hide under the couch. 1.2584 0.05656 89 70 15 4
4714 I took a course on ‘reframing’... 1.2584 0.05185 89 68 19 2
4715 ‘They finally realized it could be fashionable AND practical.’ 1.2584 0.05878 89 71 13 5
4716 Kennel cough is just a hoax anyway. 1.2584 0.05878 89 71 13 5
4717 It was amplifying my nightly howls 1.2584 0.05426 89 69 17 3
4718 Oh don't worry. I still pop it forward when other dogs walk nearby. 1.2584 0.05426 89 69 17 3
4719 So I'll catch the squirrels and then you'll carry them, okay? 1.2581 0.05701 93 74 14 5
4720 My bite is worse than your bark. 1.2581 0.06478 62 48 12 2
4721 How can you say we don`t fit? 1.2581 0.04688 93 72 19 2
4722 It's all the rage in Paris this spring! 1.2581 0.06056 62 47 14 1
4723 Your mother dresses you funny. 1.2581 0.05902 93 75 12 6
4724 Looks more Edwardian this way doesn't? 1.2581 0.05492 93 73 16 4
4725 I know I'm a terrible seeing eye dog, but when he started putting it on this way I couldn't bring myself to correct him. 1.2581 0.05492 93 73 16 4
4726 Actually it's more of a fashion statement. 1.2581 0.06056 62 47 14 1
4727 Under the chin doesn't count. 1.2581 0.05701 93 74 14 5
4728 You lucky dog. 1.2581 0.05492 93 73 16 4
4729 What a party, I don’t remember a thing either. I woke up and saw a couple of broken lamps. 1.2581 0.06478 62 48 12 2
4730 “No, I’m fine. It’s just that I joined the clergy.” 1.2581 0.05492 93 73 16 4
4731 You must have done something really bad! 1.2581 0.05701 93 74 14 5
4732 They're dyslexic. 1.2581 0.05275 93 72 18 3
4733 Mine's better on the zoom calls. 1.2581 0.06056 62 47 14 1
4734 I just finished my last shoot for His Master's Voice." 1.2581 0.05048 93 71 20 2
4735 They told me to think outside the box 1.2581 0.05492 93 73 16 4
4736 Oh man, I’m lucky they only took my chesticles. 1.2581 0.06056 62 47 14 1
4737 Well, because I didn’t wanna see at my COVID weight. 1.2581 0.05701 93 74 14 5
4738 The class in aerodynamics really helped. 1.2577 0.05135 97 75 19 3
4739 How ridiculous do those people look wearing masks? 1.2577 0.05340 97 76 17 4
4740 I have both my shots... 1.2577 0.05340 97 76 17 4
4741 We can spoon! 1.2577 0.04922 97 74 21 2
4742 I like my owners dumb but cute 1.2577 0.05135 97 75 19 3
4743 You won't believe the aerodynamics on this new model, Fred. 1.2577 0.05340 97 76 17 4
4744 The wind tunnel results were impressive. 1.2576 0.06588 66 52 11 3
4745 I'm just not into that Elizabethan look. 1.2576 0.06588 66 52 11 3
4746 I did a quick 180 as she was putting it on. 1.2576 0.06588 66 52 11 3
4747 Next time you go for a ride, stick you head out the window. It’s amazing what can you see. 1.2576 0.06224 66 51 13 2
4748 It’s simple: You’re an inee and I’m on outee 1.2576 0.06224 66 51 13 2
4749 What can I say? My dad’s a priest 1.2576 0.06933 66 53 9 4
4750 If you scratch mine, I’ll lick yours. 1.2576 0.06588 66 52 11 3
4751 Just get a good running start and head for the doggy door. 1.2574 0.05567 101 81 14 6
4752 I like the slimming effect it has. 1.2571 0.05997 70 54 14 2
4753 Let's just say "Unclear on the concept" doesn't come close to describing him. 1.2571 0.05641 70 53 16 1
4754 My owner also wears his hat backwards. 1.2571 0.05997 70 54 14 2
4755 You're right. Never sniff an elephants butt. 1.2571 0.06652 70 56 10 4
4756 If you take a quick run at the dog door, you can reverse it. 1.2571 0.05997 70 54 14 2
4757 I'm studying for the clergy. 1.2571 0.05997 70 54 14 2
4758 The sales pitch got me ...reversible and forward-looking 1.2571 0.06652 70 56 10 4
4759 My person reverse-engineered mine. 1.2571 0.06652 70 56 10 4
4760 I reached an agreement with my owner. 1.2571 0.06333 70 55 12 3
4761 Well it may be because my owner is an extrovert. 1.2571 0.05641 70 53 16 1
4762 Really, just tell them you can’t breathe with it like that. 1.2571 0.06333 70 55 12 3
4763 Hey, I still can’t LICK my genitals but at least I can see them. 1.2571 0.06333 70 55 12 3
4764 You should see where he attaches my leash! 1.2571 0.05997 70 54 14 2
4765 I dressed up as my favorite piece of furniture. How about you? 1.2568 0.06103 74 58 13 3
4766 This is what it looks like after the operation. 1.2568 0.05463 74 56 17 1
4767 A match made in heaven? 1.2568 0.06399 74 59 11 4
4768 It's aerodynamics 1.2568 0.05463 74 56 17 1
4769 It's a lampshade. Only thing that I can remember is that it was a ruff night in Tampa. 1.2568 0.06103 74 58 13 3
4770 It's much easier to eat my way 1.2568 0.06399 74 59 11 4
4771 Try running against the wind — you’ll soon have all your problems licked. Worked for me! 1.2568 0.06103 74 58 13 3
4772 Fortunately, my veterinarian is dyslexic. 1.2568 0.06399 74 59 11 4
4773 For one thing, I can run a hell of a lot faster. 1.2568 0.05792 74 57 15 2
4774 Yea, yea, your your bark echos, but I can get through doors! 1.2568 0.06103 74 58 13 3
4775 You don't know shit about Bernoulli's equation for compressible flow, do you? 1.2568 0.05792 74 57 15 2
4776 I’m out of intensive care. 1.2568 0.05792 74 57 15 2
4777 I don't walk into walls anymore! Go ahead and switch it! 1.2568 0.06103 74 58 13 3
4778 Like magic,right after the second shot! 1.2568 0.05792 74 57 15 2
4779 It's okay..I've had my second dose. 1.2568 0.05463 74 56 17 1
4780 My human says real men don’t need to read the instructions. 1.2568 0.05463 74 56 17 1
4781 It's like a ballcap, you can wear it either way. 1.2568 0.05463 74 56 17 1
4782 How do you stand the echo? 1.2568 0.05792 74 57 15 2
4783 Bet it's a bitch to shave. 1.2568 0.06399 74 59 11 4
4784 I wanted one that was aerodynamic. 1.2568 0.05792 74 57 15 2
4785 You have an inee ... I have an outee ! 1.2568 0.06682 74 60 9 5
4786 Well my master voted Trump; I bet yours voted Biden. 1.2568 0.06399 74 59 11 4
4787 Look, you have to sit up and stay still. Eventually a light bulb goes off and voila! You're a lamp. 1.2568 0.05463 74 56 17 1
4788 I find this way to be more aerodynamic. 1.2568 0.06103 74 58 13 3
4789 Yes, Earl, I know. But they're trying to keep you from licking your incision. I'm trying out for a play. 1.2568 0.06682 74 60 9 5
4790 You eat your lamps bottom first? 1.2568 0.06399 74 59 11 4
4791 Don't you just love how your bark echoes? Mine is just a dribble bib. 1.2564 0.05605 78 60 16 2
4792 One of our vets is dyslexic. 1.2564 0.06171 78 62 12 4
4793 It’s like your tail: it wags both ways. 1.2564 0.05300 78 59 18 1
4794 Buster, if you refuse to game the system your humans won’t respect you. 1.2564 0.05895 78 61 14 3
4795 Now we can kiss. 1.2564 0.05605 78 60 16 2
4796 You should see the way my human wears his mask. 1.2564 0.05895 78 61 14 3
4797 Right? I just said, '"It's not blinders, Tracey. I'm not a goddam horse." 1.2564 0.05895 78 61 14 3
4798 From annoyance to fashionable in one easy step! 1.2564 0.05895 78 61 14 3
4799 I think I see how we can help each other! 1.2564 0.05895 78 61 14 3
4800 Glad to see you more focused. 1.2564 0.05605 78 60 16 2
4801 Tis an ill wind that blows no hood. 1.2564 0.06171 78 62 12 4
4802 The cone you're trying to reach has been disconnected... 1.2564 0.06171 78 62 12 4
4803 Years of 'Downward-Facing Dog' really paid off! 1.2564 0.05895 78 61 14 3
4804 Super annoying, too, but at least no blind spots. 1.2564 0.05895 78 61 14 3
4805 I hear what you're saying. 1.2564 0.05895 78 61 14 3
4806 Some say just a fad but I think it might stick! 1.2564 0.05895 78 61 14 3
4807 I know it doesn't keep me from scratching, but it's way more stylish this way" 1.2564 0.05605 78 60 16 2
4808 I was so hungry I ate clear through my food bowl. What 1.2564 0.05895 78 61 14 3
4809 I am a nun from the convent. Are you the bad boy from the abbey? 1.2564 0.05300 78 59 18 1
4810 Are you sure we're wearing these masks the right way? 1.2564 0.05895 78 61 14 3
4811 Makes a world of difference when you stick your head out the window. 1.2564 0.05895 78 61 14 3
4812 long time fan, first time collar 1.2564 0.06171 78 62 12 4
4813 Outie? It's me, Innie! 1.2564 0.06689 78 64 8 6
4814 Innie............Outie 1.2564 0.06171 78 62 12 4
4815 You should seem them assemble IKEA furniture. 1.2564 0.06171 78 62 12 4
4816 Depends on which way the wind blows!! 1.2564 0.06435 78 63 10 5
4817 Makes it easier to sniff the ‘naughty bits’” 1.2564 0.06171 78 62 12 4
4818 A dog or a sheep, which one are you? 1.2564 0.05605 78 60 16 2
4819 You definitely turned the situation around 1.2564 0.05605 78 60 16 2
4820 I think yours is on wrong. 1.2564 0.05895 78 61 14 3
4821 The cone of confidence! 1.2564 0.06435 78 63 10 5
4822 Frankly, Scarlet, I don’t give a bone. 1.2564 0.05300 78 59 18 1
4823 Well has your owner ever had an umbrella caught in the wind? 1.2564 0.06435 78 63 10 5
4824 it's all about a change in perspective. 1.2564 0.05300 78 59 18 1
4825 the kids showed me how on tik tok 1.2564 0.06689 78 64 8 6
4826 woB woW 1.2561 0.05706 82 64 15 3
4827 It's easy. Your owner just has to let you stick your head out the window while he's doing 190 mph. 1.2561 0.05964 82 65 13 4
4828 Mine came from London. 1.2561 0.05706 82 64 15 3
4829 I believe in fashion versus function! 1.2561 0.05964 82 65 13 4
4830 You go first 1.2561 0.05435 82 63 17 2
4831 I think I'm dyslexic. 1.2561 0.06449 82 67 9 6
4832 That’s quite the bark you’ve got there! 1.2561 0.05964 82 65 13 4
4833 My owner saw me wearing this and said I don't need to be neutered. 1.2561 0.05964 82 65 13 4
4834 My therapist said something about 'reverse psychology' 1.2561 0.05964 82 65 13 4
4835 This doesn't stop you from making friends! Now turn around. 1.2561 0.06211 82 66 11 5
4836 Haven't you heard? Out is the new in. 1.2561 0.05151 82 64 16 2
4837 I saw it on you last week, and I thought I just had to get one for myself. 1.2561 0.06211 82 66 11 5
4838 I’ve always liked introverts! 1.2561 0.04692 82 63 18 1
4839 No, no, nothing at all, just trying to keep up with the trends 1.2561 0.05706 82 64 15 3
4840 It's all about aerodynamics, dawg! 1.2561 0.05964 82 65 13 4
4841 Damn B*#ch – you sure can wear that dress! 1.2561 0.06678 82 68 7 7
4842 Who was your designer? 1.2561 0.04850 82 61 21 0
4843 I said: if you where it this way, you don't get that annoying echo! 1.2561 0.05706 82 64 15 3
4844 The way the past year has gone, I said, hey, you know, screw it. 1.2561 0.05706 82 64 15 3
4845 You would not believe the aerodynamic difference with my method. 1.2561 0.05964 82 65 13 4
4846 Fix me? Fix this! 1.2561 0.06211 82 66 11 5
4847 It’s the only way I can keep my foot out of my mouth. 1.2561 0.05706 82 64 15 3
4848 Oh, no I’m actually an Australian Shepherd 1.2561 0.06678 82 68 7 7
4849 Beware, friend : there is a strong west wind today. 1.2558 0.06230 86 70 10 6
4850 No, there's nothing wrong. I'm just a sloppy eater. 1.2558 0.05774 86 68 14 4
4851 Popped collars are so 2008. 1.2558 0.05532 86 67 16 3
4852 Apparently it makes us easier to stack. 1.2558 0.06006 86 69 12 5
4853 I’m sorry, but you really have it backwards. 1.2558 0.05407 86 69 13 4
4854 Squirrels, cars, I’m telling you I can catch anything wearing it this way. 1.2558 0.05532 86 67 16 3
4855 i give up. you live in an echo chamber 1.2558 0.06006 86 69 12 5
4856 It’s the new Amazon No Echo. 1.2558 0.05532 86 67 16 3
4857 You’re the yin to my yang. 1.2558 0.05774 86 68 14 4
4858 If we work together, we can really lick this problem 1.2558 0.06006 86 69 12 5
4859 This way is even Worse... In a tailwind I took off like a Kite! 1.2558 0.06006 86 69 12 5
4860 I think we make a good Fit 1.2558 0.05279 86 66 18 2
4861 Not to worry. It's just that you're an innie and I'm and outtie. 1.2558 0.05279 86 66 18 2
4862 The design is more aerodynamic,but I miss drinking from it when it rains. 1.2558 0.06230 86 70 10 6
4863 I call mine "The Cone of Shabby-Chic" 1.2558 0.06230 86 70 10 6
4864 Can you tell I worked with a stylist? 1.2558 0.05013 86 65 20 1
4865 Woah, how did you pop your collar? 1.2558 0.05774 86 68 14 4
4866 You look more like Queen Elizabeth if you wear it this way 1.2558 0.05774 86 68 14 4
4867 You’re gonna be so mad when you think about it. 1.2558 0.05774 86 68 14 4
4868 They call me “Karen.” 1.2558 0.05532 86 67 16 3
4869 ‘I’d rather not hear my own thoughts’ 1.2558 0.05013 86 65 20 1
4870 What is inside out then? 1.2558 0.05532 86 67 16 3
4871 Guess your owners don't read the manual 1.2558 0.05279 86 68 15 3
4872 I can never remember. Am I ‘yin’ or am I ‘yang’ 1.2558 0.05774 86 68 14 4
4873 Did you break your mom's favorite lamp too? 1.2558 0.04875 86 72 9 5
4874 Now my tail can’t chase me! 1.2558 0.06006 86 69 12 5
4875 Do you think the jury will buy it? 1.2556 0.05819 90 72 13 5
4876 I'm told it's very slimming. 1.2556 0.05373 90 70 17 3
4877 Yours is so old hat. 1.2556 0.05600 90 71 15 4
4878 Can’ t scratch ‘n Can’t sniff 1.2556 0.05819 90 72 13 5
4879 I used to like The Coneheads, too. 1.2556 0.05012 90 71 16 3
4880 Think of it as a fashion statement. 1.2556 0.05600 90 71 15 4
4881 Did you just get a face lift? 1.2556 0.05373 90 70 17 3
4882 you've got an inny 1.2556 0.05373 90 70 17 3
4883 Bitchin. 1.2556 0.05819 90 72 13 5
4884 Oh, I’m pretending I’m a lamp. How about you? 1.2556 0.04886 90 68 21 1
4885 Mercury is in retrograde. 1.2556 0.05373 90 70 17 3
4886 I’m an innie, not an outie! 1.2556 0.06030 90 73 11 6
4887 Mind if I lead? 1.2553 0.05440 94 74 16 4
4888 I know, but it's just as effective and way more aerodynamic. 1.2553 0.05440 94 74 16 4
4889 If you're going to be a party animal, you have to learn the right way to wear a lampshade. 1.2553 0.05846 94 76 12 6
4890 Oh mo, it's not medical, I'm a member of the clergy. 1.2553 0.05440 94 74 16 4
4891 With just one simple twist, you too can go from "Cone of Shame" to "Cone of Fame"! 1.2553 0.05846 94 76 12 6
4892 My vet's a contrarian. 1.2553 0.05002 94 72 20 2
4893 The collar goes the other way around! We're going to be the laughing stock of this year's Shakespeare festival! 1.2553 0.05440 94 74 16 4
4894 Never settle. 1.2553 0.05846 94 76 12 6
4895 So I hear that you're the uncircumcised one 1.2553 0.05846 94 76 12 6
4896 "Hi! My name's Prolapse." 1.2553 0.05226 94 73 18 3
4897 They got tired of giving me a bath after every meal. 1.2553 0.05226 94 73 18 3
4898 „In Germany they call it querdenken“ 1.2553 0.05226 94 73 18 3
4899 You're too narrow-sighted, my friend 1.2553 0.05226 94 73 18 3
4900 Nope, no good. I can’t hear a word you’re saying 1.2553 0.05002 94 72 20 2
4901 It's a flea baffle. 1.2551 0.05292 98 77 17 4
4902 Your voice sounds masterful. 1.2551 0.06207 98 82 7 9
4903 Don’t project your problems onto me. 1.2551 0.06035 98 81 9 8
4904 By the way, did I mention I was vegan? 1.2551 0.05676 98 79 13 6
4905 The aerodynamics are just better. 1.2551 0.05089 98 76 19 3
4906 Let me guess, they’re watching reruns of the Flying Nun? 1.2549 0.05518 102 82 14 6
4907 Do I look fat in this? It's supposed to slim. 1.2549 0.04963 102 79 20 3
4908 The Vet put yours on....Joe Biden did mine... 1.2540 0.07144 63 51 8 4
4909 Spot you didn’t hear it from me, but you gotta start thinking outside the cone. 1.2540 0.06387 63 49 12 2
4910 It's great when leftover spaghetti is in my bowl! 1.2540 0.06387 63 49 12 2
4911 that's it, no more playing at the lamp factory 1.2540 0.06387 63 49 12 2
4912 I'm guessing your mom buys your clothes. 1.2540 0.07144 63 51 8 4
4913 You catch the squirrels going north, I'll get the ones going south....deal? 1.2537 0.06143 67 52 13 2
4914 Look, we're mirror images of each other! 1.2537 0.05763 67 51 15 1
4915 Actually, it's a ruff collar. 1.2537 0.06143 67 52 13 2
4916 Innie or outie. Now I know what I’ve been hearing about for years. 1.2537 0.06143 67 52 13 2
4917 I find this way encourages social distancing 1.2537 0.06143 67 52 13 2
4918 Anti-coner? Nah... I just like my freedom! 1.2537 0.06143 67 52 13 2
4919 I know, but it’s more aerodynamic. 1.2537 0.06501 67 53 11 3
4920 Of course I’ll lick your stitches for you! 1.2537 0.06501 67 53 11 3
4921 Enjoy that cone of shame. I'll wear this arch of dignity thank you very much. 1.2535 0.06567 71 57 10 4
4922 Use your tongue, its just like the cherry stem trick! 1.2535 0.06254 71 56 12 3
4923 "The vet wanted to put an Elizabethan collar on me, too. But I kept insisting: 'Ruff! Ruff! Ruff!'" 1.2535 0.05923 71 55 14 2
4924 I’ll sniff your ass if you’ll sniff mine. 1.2535 0.06254 71 56 12 3
4925 YOU CAN'T HAVE IT BOTH WAYS. EITHER YOU ARE AN INNIE OR AN OUTIE! 1.2535 0.06567 71 57 10 4
4926 Wearing it this way takes off five pounds. 1.2535 0.05573 71 54 16 1
4927 Sure, but just don’t stick your head out the car window. 1.2535 0.06254 71 56 12 3
4928 Some of us are innies, and some are outies 1.2535 0.06254 71 56 12 3
4929 It’s the cone of no shame. 1.2535 0.06254 71 56 12 3
4930 It doesn't keep me from licking my stitches, but he is convinced he could knock five seconds off his 5K runs if I were more aerodynamic. 1.2535 0.05923 71 55 14 2
4931 I can't reach my butt either, but it' s slimming. 1.2535 0.05573 71 54 16 1
4932 The good news is I can scratch that itch for you! 1.2535 0.06254 71 56 12 3
4933 It's to keep my body from itching me. 1.2535 0.06567 71 57 10 4
4934 So, my owner is dyslexic, but the good news is, she thinks I'm God. 1.2535 0.06254 71 56 12 3
4935 I like your collar because you can eat while protecting your food bowl. But mine still allows me to sniff others. 1.2535 0.06254 71 56 12 3
4936 With a little positive thinking you can turn your life around. 1.2535 0.05573 71 54 16 1
4937 And now they can't watch us kiss. 1.2533 0.06323 75 60 11 4
4938 Oh, mine? They didn't like me chasing my tail. 1.2533 0.05724 75 58 15 2
4939 Well, I still can't lick my wound, but let's say it's better for sniffing oppportunities. 1.2533 0.06031 75 59 13 3
4940 Convex! Concave is so last year! 1.2533 0.06323 75 60 11 4
4941 Yeah, it's a more aerodynamic look, don't ya' think? 1.2533 0.04874 75 58 16 1
4942 I don’t get a “gesundheit”? 1.2533 0.06323 75 60 11 4
4943 Be mine. 1.2533 0.06323 75 60 11 4
4944 I took the road less travelled and that has made all the difference. 1.2533 0.06601 75 61 9 5
4945 Sometimes different is better. 1.2533 0.06323 75 60 11 4
4946 Greetings, earthling female. 1.2533 0.06323 75 60 11 4
4947 Mine is a SpaceX nose cone! 1.2533 0.06031 75 59 13 3
4948 Innies drool. Outies rule. 1.2533 0.06323 75 60 11 4
4949 Well, they put in on backwards, and now they can't get it off. So I'm wearing it as a fashion statement. 1.2533 0.05724 75 58 15 2
4950 I think it's a matter of personal style 1.2533 0.05724 75 58 15 2
4951 My thought was speed over an illusion of privacy. 1.2533 0.06031 75 59 13 3
4952 Looks like we are made for each other. 1.2533 0.05400 75 57 17 1
4953 Mine is post-Elizabethan. More Meghan. 1.2533 0.06031 75 59 13 3
4954 Three biscuits and a squeaky ball - THEN I’ll tell you how. 1.2533 0.06031 75 59 13 3
4955 I can hear you much better without the reverb. 1.2533 0.06031 75 59 13 3
4956 It started out as a joke at a party and went bad 1.2533 0.05724 75 58 15 2
4957 Yin Yang Dog 1.2533 0.05056 75 56 19 0
4958 ...I say toe-MAH-toe 1.2533 0.06601 75 61 9 5
4959 With so much conflicting information out there, it's hard to know what's right anymore 1.2533 0.06031 75 59 13 3
4960 It’s all about perspective, Spot. 1.2533 0.05724 75 58 15 2
4961 You are always such a trendsetter! 1.2533 0.05724 75 58 15 2
4962 Yeah, I went with the crew neck, it's supposed to be warm today. 1.2533 0.05724 75 58 15 2
4963 I can curl up under mine and it looks like I'm some kind of fucked up lamp. 1.2532 0.06361 79 64 10 5
4964 It's not embarrassing. It's fashion. 1.2532 0.05243 79 60 18 1
4965 A dyslexic owner has its advantages. 1.2532 0.05544 79 61 16 2
4966 Bark once for male or twice for female 1.2532 0.06101 79 63 12 4
4967 There's no such thing as systemic racism. 1.2532 0.06612 79 65 8 6
4968 Do you recognize me now. 1.2532 0.05829 79 62 14 3
4969 I find it helpful whenever I'm barking up the wrong tree. 1.2532 0.06612 79 65 8 6
4970 Ruff, you scratch my face and I'll scratch yours. 1.2532 0.05243 79 60 18 1
4971 I’m just not ashamed anymore. 1.2532 0.05544 79 61 16 2
4972 It doesn't work if it's not worn right! 1.2532 0.05829 79 62 14 3
4973 Would you like me to scratch your itch? 1.2532 0.05829 79 62 14 3
4974 I told you, I'm a nonconformist. 1.2532 0.06101 79 63 12 4
4975 Works great in dogfights 1.2532 0.05544 79 61 16 2
4976 I’ll send you the link. Apparently I circle the wrong way before laying down too. 1.2532 0.06361 79 64 10 5
4977 It works the same, but this way I feel like a superhero. 1.2532 0.05544 79 61 16 2
4978 My stylist said it is now worn this way. 1.2532 0.05829 79 62 14 3
4979 I kept getting FOX NEWS. 1.2532 0.05967 79 65 9 5
4980 So you're saying it only works if I wear it over my nose and my mouth? 1.2532 0.06361 79 64 10 5
4981 Am I late to the lamp shades anonymous meeting? 1.2532 0.06361 79 64 10 5
4982 Is that how the kids are wearing it? 1.2532 0.05243 79 60 18 1
4983 Don’t worry. I promise I’ll scratch yours too. 1.2532 0.05829 79 62 14 3
4984 I told you,not a lion,a dog, 1.2532 0.06101 79 63 12 4
4985 Either way its impossible to lick your butt. 1.2532 0.05544 79 61 16 2
4986 Just feels more professional this way 1.2532 0.05544 79 61 16 2
4987 Heck of a wind today. 1.2532 0.05829 79 62 14 3
4988 And then she said, 'Convex cones are so last year!' and so I changed. 1.2532 0.05544 79 61 16 2
4989 Thank god that’s behind me now! 1.2532 0.06101 79 63 12 4
4990 You get better lighting this way. 1.2532 0.06101 79 63 12 4
4991 Aw, come on! I scratched you first last time! 1.2532 0.06612 79 65 8 6
4992 If you’ll bite mine, I’ll bite yours. 1.2532 0.06361 79 64 10 5
4993 You should wear the cuff, the cone look is so last year. 1.2532 0.06101 79 63 12 4
4994 Don't worry, it's just a little fashion faux-paw. 1.2532 0.05829 79 62 14 3
4995 You're sceptical but I can outrun a greyhound 1.2532 0.05829 79 62 14 3
4996 Uncircumcised, huh? 1.2532 0.06612 79 65 8 6
4997 Not only that, but you should see what I put around HIS neck! 1.2532 0.06101 79 63 12 4
4998 I thought the preppy look was out. 1.2532 0.05829 79 62 14 3
4999 « I found it at Ikea » 1.2532 0.05544 79 61 16 2
5000 I’m reducing shame in my experience of life. 1.2532 0.05829 79 62 14 3
5001 I was running and then this happened. 1.2532 0.05829 79 62 14 3
5002 « I got a lifting » 1.2532 0.05243 79 60 18 1
5003 No, it's not at all more comfortable this way, but I've shaved seconds from my squirrel chasing times. 1.2532 0.05243 79 60 18 1
5004 I thought it was the cape of shame, no? 1.2532 0.05544 79 61 16 2
5005 Collar up? Or collar down? 1.2532 0.05544 79 61 16 2
5006 But he said if you wear it below your chin it won’t work. 1.2530 0.06143 83 67 11 5
5007 That is so 90s dog park! 1.2530 0.05899 83 66 13 4
5008 Counter culture." They said "Good boy… 1.2530 0.04801 83 62 21 0
5009 Puritan ancestors 1.2530 0.05240 83 66 14 3
5010 I decided to go with the aerodynamic model! 1.2530 0.05378 83 64 17 2
5011 You can't back door your healthcare, George. You have to face it head on. 1.2530 0.05645 83 65 15 3
5012 Respect my choices. 1.2530 0.06143 83 67 11 5
5013 They say it reduces wind resistance by 87% when sticking your head out the car window! 1.2530 0.06378 83 68 9 6
5014 Don't even ask! 1.2530 0.05899 83 66 13 4
5015 Yes, it IS slimming, but I still can't get to the itch. 1.2530 0.05645 83 65 15 3
5016 And don't even get me started about the improvements to out-of-vehicle-window leans, paricualry on the parkways and interstates." 1.2530 0.05645 83 65 15 3
5017 Oh thanks, it’s a Burberry, plaid side facing inward of course. 1.2530 0.05098 83 63 19 1
5018 I got my Cone95 from the thrift shop. Not sure it's effective. 1.2530 0.05899 83 66 13 4
5019 I prefer an outie. 1.2530 0.06143 83 67 11 5
5020 I know this is an unpopular opinion, but they both work. 1.2530 0.05899 83 66 13 4
5021 She let me roll down the window in the car...that's how. 1.2530 0.05098 83 63 19 1
5022 Nuttin’ wrong, just a little lampshade incident. 1.2530 0.05645 83 65 15 3
5023 I do love the vintage look, but 'reverse cone' is really the rage these days. 1.2530 0.05645 83 65 15 3
5024 My view of the mailman MUST be unobstructed. 1.2530 0.05378 83 64 17 2
5025 It's called streamlining. 1.2530 0.05378 83 64 17 2
5026 This cat-loving Vet finishes. She stares at me clawing this dog-hoodie in her hands. Then she says, “the existential question is, are you different to be different, or are you different because now you really are different?” So I bite her! 1.2530 0.05645 83 65 15 3
5027 Apparently, they want us to put our heads together. 1.2530 0.05899 83 66 13 4
5028 Yes! My owner IS a blond. How did you guess? 1.2530 0.05899 83 66 13 4
5029 I can't help it I guess the vet was in a hurry. 1.2530 0.05378 83 64 17 2
5030 I hate these Thanksgiving costumes 1.2530 0.06378 83 68 9 6
5031 I’m so aerodynamic now, I’ve caught my tail six times. 1.2530 0.05645 83 65 15 3
5032 Boy, that new Tesla is fast! 1.2530 0.06143 83 67 11 5
5033 It’s Burberry 1.2530 0.05645 83 65 15 3
5034 Is it too much? 1.2530 0.05645 83 65 15 3
5035 Fuel economy is my only real priority. 1.2530 0.05645 83 65 15 3
5036 -Shall we go for that race now? 1.2530 0.05899 83 66 13 4
5037 So I told her, if you want me to wear the damn thing, you’re gonna have to let me wear it my way... 1.2530 0.05378 83 64 17 2
5038 Confidence. And aerodynamic efficiency. But mostly confidence." 1.2529 0.06165 87 71 10 6
5039 Loser! 1.2529 0.06165 87 71 10 6
5040 The megaphone effect made my bark worse than my bite. 1.2529 0.05715 87 69 14 4
5041 Hey, let me help you. I think you've got it forwards. 1.2529 0.05476 87 68 16 3
5042 I used to have that same collar. 1.2529 0.05715 87 69 14 4
5043 I sneezed! 1.2529 0.05944 87 70 12 5
5044 You must be a Democrat 1.2529 0.05476 87 68 16 3
5045 I saw the kids wearing their underwear outside their pants and thought, I could start a trend. 1.2529 0.05715 87 69 14 4
5046 I’ll play the nun and you play the guy who has a licking habit 1.2529 0.05944 87 70 12 5
5047 They made a clerical error. 1.2529 0.05476 87 68 16 3
5048 Mine was designed by an aerodynamics engineer. 1.2529 0.05715 87 69 14 4
5049 When did you become an apostate? 1.2529 0.05226 87 67 18 2
5050 "Oh Daisy, the collar up look is stunning on you ! I could never pull that off " GE Byrne 1.2529 0.05226 87 67 18 2
5051 But wow, what a kiss! 1.2529 0.05715 87 69 14 4
5052 i got mine at TJ Maxx. 1.2529 0.04828 87 68 17 2
5053 Just wait and see, this trend is going to be so fetch! 1.2529 0.06165 87 71 10 6
5054 Conformity is overrated 1.2529 0.06165 87 71 10 6
5055 And you’re the one they named ‘Genius’ 1.2529 0.05476 87 68 16 3
5056 Reception’s not so good, but I’ll take it...”. 1.2529 0.05226 87 67 18 2
5057 Hindsight becomes foresight with time. 1.2529 0.05715 87 69 14 4
5058 I got up early and dressed in the dark. 1.2527 0.05546 91 72 15 4
5059 Next time, stick your head out the window. 1.2527 0.05086 91 70 19 2
5060 I turned it around because everything sounded woofy. 1.2527 0.05762 91 73 13 5
5061 I’m an introvert. I’m an extrovert. 1.2527 0.05970 91 74 11 6
5062 We gave our dogs Myers Briggs tests 1.2527 0.05086 91 70 19 2
5063 My master is dyslexic. 1.2527 0.05970 91 77 7 7
5064 If you listened better, maybe they wouldn't do that to you. 1.2527 0.05546 91 72 15 4
5065 It is very aerodynamic and makes me feel like a Super Dog. 1.2527 0.05321 91 71 17 3
5066 Well,actually,yes,everyone does think you look like a douchebag. 1.2527 0.05762 91 73 13 5
5067 Oh, yeah. Well, you wouldn't believe how much it helps with my drag coefficient. 1.2527 0.04581 91 68 23 0
5068 You gotta risk it for the biscuit 1.2527 0.05321 91 71 17 3
5069 The vet is dyslectic 1.2526 0.05389 95 75 16 4
5070 So we leave the Vet's in my owner's new Lambo, zoom onto the highway. Of course I stuck my head out the window 1.2526 0.05980 95 78 10 7
5071 Just because your human wears his baseball caps backwards doesn 1.2526 0.05980 95 78 10 7
5072 I call this one iconoclastic plastic 1.2526 0.05389 95 75 16 4
5073 See, opposites do attract 1.2526 0.04956 95 73 20 2
5074 ...and then she farted. 1.2526 0.05593 95 76 14 5
5075 What cultural appropriation? 1.2525 0.05438 99 79 15 5
5076 Oh, so your humans haven't told you yet. 1.2525 0.04836 99 76 21 2
5077 Oh, it’s the sport model 1.2525 0.05245 99 78 17 4
5078 Bet you can’t still lick your own butt like I can! 1.2524 0.05470 103 83 14 6
5079 One of us has got to be wrong 1.2524 0.05293 103 82 16 5
5080 Mine’s an innie. 1.2500 0.06536 80 66 8 6
5081 I’m chewing myself away. My owner calls it freedom. 1.2500 0.06033 80 64 12 4
5082 See, there are benefits to being owned by a senior citizen. 1.2500 0.06176 72 57 12 3
5083 This setup works better for outdoor dining. 1.2500 0.05322 84 65 17 2
5084 I’m a lamp. 1.2500 0.06248 76 61 11 4
5085 That looks like a drag. 1.2500 0.06532 84 70 7 7
5086 Wow! That was one heck of a sneeze. 1.2500 0.05658 76 59 15 2
5087 My vet will not let the so called ‘mainstream’ animal health science infringe on my inherent constitutional freedom 1.2500 0.05585 84 66 15 3
5088 Mine's the Cone of Dyslexia. 1.2500 0.06033 80 64 12 4
5089 You can get back to licking and scratching if you turn into the wind. 1.2500 0.05690 68 52 15 1
5090 I think they attached your body backwards. 1.2500 0.05764 80 63 14 3
5091 Doesn't it cout down on your peripheral vision ? 1.2500 0.05851 72 56 14 2
5092 Sure I can’t lick my butt anymore, but I finally feel like my true authentic self. 1.2500 0.05322 84 65 17 2
5093 I like to tuck my paws inside. It makes me feel like a nuclear warhead. 1.2500 0.05960 76 60 13 3
5094 This is my dissent collar. 1.2500 0.06780 72 59 8 5
5095 Ya, just gonna run through the dog door really fast! 1.2500 0.05421 88 69 16 3
5096 It works the same way but you're a lot faster. 1.2500 0.05585 84 66 15 3
5097 You obviously picked the wrong personal injury attorney. 1.2500 0.06299 64 50 12 2
5098 I just said, "Look Marge can we try the upward dog position? It's our honeymoon." 1.2500 0.05657 88 70 14 4
5099 Father George showed me how to wear it. 1.2500 0.05923 96 79 10 7
5100 Kiss? 1.2500 0.05657 88 70 14 4
5101 Haven’t you heard, that’s last year’s look. 1.2500 0.05837 84 67 13 4
5102 Do you ever feel like a weird lamp? 1.2500 0.05837 84 67 13 4
5103 Need help flipping it? 1.2500 0.05000 76 57 19 0
5104 Nah, it's easy. Politicians do this kind of flip-flop all the time 1.2500 0.05658 76 59 15 2
5105 This makes it easier to bark up the wrong tree. 1.2500 0.05837 84 67 13 4
5106 Don't you see? This is how we win. 1.2500 0.06523 76 62 9 5
5107 So,are we staying in or dare we go out tonight? 1.2500 0.05960 76 60 13 3
5108 Nice bark! 1.2500 0.06248 76 61 11 4
5109 My butt won't stop licking my face 1.2500 0.05837 84 67 13 4
5110 Need a lick 1.2500 0.05837 84 67 13 4
5111 I promised I wouldn’t lick my wound, that doesn’t mean YOU can’t lick it.... 1.2500 0.05837 84 67 13 4
5112 The Handmaid’s look is so yesterday since the election. 1.2500 0.06063 68 53 13 2
5113 I know it’s windy.....but oh the smells.... 1.2500 0.05585 84 66 15 3
5114 There's so much less wind resistance. 1.2500 0.05175 88 68 18 2
5115 Sure, go ahead and laugh. At least I can still lick myself. 1.2500 0.06749 68 55 9 4
5116 Hear no evil. See no evil. Which is worse? 1.2500 0.05585 84 66 15 3
5117 This look is all the rage on the catwalk. 1.2500 0.05764 80 63 14 3
5118 It’s really weird. I get mistaken for a priest a lot 1.2500 0.06176 72 57 12 3
5119 Dude, flip it around and you can get at their shoes. 1.2500 0.06299 64 50 12 2
5120 This way I can smoke without collecting ash. 1.2500 0.05492 92 73 15 4
5121 Jeez, what wind back there! 1.2500 0.05960 76 60 13 3
5122 I'll be the space capsule you be the lampshade. 1.2500 0.06485 72 58 10 4
5123 You say tomahto. 1.2500 0.05883 88 71 12 5
5124 I've heard that the Elizabethan variant is becoming popular. 1.2500 0.06176 72 57 12 3
5125 What ca I say, After this most recent trip to veterinarian's office I am a rebel without any Claws 1.2500 0.06749 68 55 9 4
5126 I know, I know. 'It goes over your nose.' 1.2500 0.05038 92 71 19 2
5127 Can I lick your stitches?” 1.2500 0.05837 84 67 13 4
5128 Can I help you with that? 1.2500 0.05175 88 68 18 2
5129 I look like a Victorian royal. You look like a sick dog! 1.2500 0.05658 76 59 15 2
5130 and then fuggin' BOOM, I had broken the sound barrier.. " 1.2500 0.06289 80 65 10 5
5131 So I made lemonade. 1.2500 0.05764 80 63 14 3
5132 My owner's a member of QAnon. 1.2500 0.06682 64 51 10 3
5133 I know. I know. Unfortunately, my hoomans don't believe in science. 1.2500 0.06536 80 66 8 6
5134 I am from Chicago, you know - the Windy City. 1.2500 0.05322 84 65 17 2
5135 Should I bark louder so you can hear me? 1.2500 0.05837 84 67 13 4
5136 Innie or Outie? 1.2500 0.05339 76 58 17 1
5137 I've always been a contrarian... 1.2500 0.06299 64 50 12 2
5138 Well, my ears are my best feature. 1.2500 0.06682 64 51 10 3
5139 I wear it simply for aerodynamics. 1.2500 0.05960 76 60 13 3
5140 Do you suppose docking is out of question? 1.2500 0.05764 80 63 14 3
5141 Cone Of Shame, Collar Of Conquest 1.2500 0.06289 80 65 10 5
5142 You never know, it could catch on. 1.2500 0.05175 88 68 18 2
5143 You can't wear it that way and stick your head out the car window! 1.2500 0.05657 88 70 14 4
5144 Don’t you think it makes me look thinner? 1.2500 0.05175 88 68 18 2
5145 Good grief! You are so last year. 1.2500 0.06523 76 62 9 5
5146 No, actually, I ran headlong into the lamp. 1.2500 0.06289 80 65 10 5
5147 No, dude, I’m fine. I just got drunk at a party, and you know . . . . 1.2500 0.05657 88 70 14 4
5148 I love to talk. You must be a good listener. 1.2500 0.05541 96 77 14 5
5149 Nice shades. 1.2500 0.05322 84 65 17 2
5150 I was running real fast chasing a squirrel and the wind just blew it back! 1.2500 0.06033 80 64 12 4
5151 My person has reverse engineered the doggie cone! 1.2500 0.05585 84 66 15 3
5152 My protective covering is more user friendly 1.2500 0.05585 84 66 15 3
5153 It's a fashion statement. What's your for? 1.2500 0.05186 80 61 18 1
5154 I’m lucky. My owner has dyslexia. 1.2500 0.05322 84 65 17 2
5155 Yes, I’m sure your reception is a lot better than mine..... 1.2500 0.05483 80 62 16 2
5156 Its all fun and games until someone puts a cone on your head. 1.2500 0.06176 72 57 12 3
5157 This way around it becomes a ruff collar - very à la mode with the King Charles Cav crowd. 1.2500 0.05764 80 63 14 3
5158 Backward is the new black. 1.2500 0.05506 72 55 16 1
5159 Mine are libertarians. 1.2500 0.05811 76 62 10 4
5160 I told them I don't believe in face coverings." 1.2500 0.05960 76 60 13 3
5161 I'm good actually. Kept it around for the aerodynamics. Shaved a few seconds off my fetch time. Anyway, how are the kids? 1.2500 0.06077 84 68 11 5
5162 Hello! My name is Houndini. 1.2500 0.04642 88 66 22 0
5163 I opted for the Anger Management Class 1.2500 0.05421 88 69 16 3
5164 Now I get what they mean by an “innie”. 1.2500 0.05541 96 77 14 5
5165 Once the car gets up to speed, stick your head out the window. Voila, shoulder pads 1.2500 0.06033 80 64 12 4
5166 I opted for the Edwardian collar! 1.2500 0.05657 88 70 14 4
5167 Mine's in the Flemish style 1.2500 0.05705 92 74 13 5
5168 I leaned in too far. 1.2500 0.06248 76 61 11 4
5169 They don't work anyway. It's a violation of my rights. 1.2500 0.05483 80 62 16 2
5170 A schnauzer at the dog park swore this was the latest fashion in the Brooklyn. 1.2500 0.04916 88 67 20 1
5171 In a dramatic turnaround, I was licked." 1.2500 0.05322 84 65 17 2
5172 Hey, you scratch mine and I’ll scratch yours. 1.2500 0.05322 84 65 17 2
5173 Just run at a wall real hard. Trust me. 1.2500 0.07387 64 53 6 5
5174 Did you get a new vet? 1.2500 0.05339 76 58 17 1
5175 My tonsils were removed. 1.2500 0.05032 80 63 15 2
5176 Shield of valor. What’s yours called? 1.2500 0.05764 80 63 14 3
5177 Nah nah nah-nah nah 1.2500 0.06033 80 64 12 4
5178 It's the dog in me. I choose not to social-distance. 1.2500 0.06485 72 58 10 4
5179 The smell is worse than my bite. 1.2500 0.05658 76 59 15 2
5180 Out of sympathy. 1.2500 0.05421 88 69 16 3
5181 Who’s your vet? 1.2500 0.05585 84 66 15 3
5182 It says reversible right on the tag! Handmaid to Superhero! 1.2500 0.05483 80 62 16 2
5183 Oh darling, that is so last year. 1.2500 0.05322 84 65 17 2
5184 This way it's a fashion statement. 1.2500 0.06248 76 61 11 4
5185 Skippy, can you, for the love of Goofy, lick my butt!! 1.2500 0.05735 96 78 12 6
5186 I live in a red state, I do whatever feels comfortable regardless of how it affects others. 1.2500 0.05837 84 67 13 4
5187 Have you ever felt, like you could be the one in his right mind? 1.2500 0.05585 84 66 15 3
5188 'Now that's what I call an echo chamber.' 1.2500 0.05270 92 72 17 3
5189 Very Edwardian. Me, I'm kind of a Trekkie. 1.2500 0.05175 88 68 18 2
5190 Neutering is a hoax. Besides, cones don't even work. 1.2500 0.05851 72 56 14 2
5191 It was simple negotiation. I would let go of the vet's fingers if he turned the collar inside out. 1.2500 0.05837 84 67 13 4
5192 It really is more of a fashion statement than anything... 1.2500 0.05506 72 55 16 1
5193 If I'm not gonna be able to lick myself,I might as well look good trying! 1.2500 0.05764 80 63 14 3
5194 Hi, I’m God. 1.2500 0.06299 64 50 12 2
5195 Born 30 seconds before you, and it has made all the difference. 1.2500 0.05175 88 68 18 2
5196 I've had a ruff time keeping up with these new fashions. 1.2500 0.05837 84 67 13 4
5197 The lampshade is sooo retro. Badminton birdie is the trending canine fashion. 1.2500 0.05175 88 68 18 2
5198 I don't get it --- There was a gust of wind, and now I can't hear as well. 1.2500 0.06299 64 50 12 2
5199 The answer to your question is I’m in the anti-mask camp. 1.2500 0.06248 76 61 11 4
5200 I got assertiveness training, what did you get? 1.2500 0.05421 88 69 16 3
5201 Well, I can't back out now. 1.2500 0.05130 96 75 18 3
5202 I was just doing the co-pilot thing, hanging out of her sports-car window, and suddenly, "Fwap!" I was streamlined! 1.2500 0.05186 80 61 18 1
5203 They make smaller hearing aids now, you know. 1.2500 0.04857 68 53 15 0
5204 I think it really makes my eyes pop. 1.2500 0.05585 84 66 15 3
5205 First time in Greenpoint? 1.2500 0.05837 84 67 13 4
5206 Heal smarter, not harder 1.2500 0.06682 64 51 10 3
5207 Suit yourself, but don't come crying to me when you can't get your head stuck in the fence. 1.2500 0.05585 84 66 15 3
5208 It really improves acceleration.. 1.2500 0.05038 92 71 19 2
5209 This change in direction has really broadened my horizon. 1.2500 0.06077 84 68 11 5
5210 Well, they say you are either an innie or an outtie. 1.2500 0.05960 76 60 13 3
5211 Sure, sure—you stuck your head out the window—and... 1.2500 0.05421 88 69 16 3
5212 You must be the handmaid's dog. 1.2500 0.06289 80 65 10 5
5213 Who knows? She IS left-handed though. 1.2500 0.06780 72 59 8 5
5214 No surgery. I just like the look. 1.2500 0.05837 84 67 13 4
5215 Fleas and physics are not mutually exclusive. 1.2500 0.05483 80 62 16 2
5216 I'm telling you, opposite vet is the best--and he takes my temperature orally. 1.2500 0.05585 84 66 15 3
5217 Listen, Bitch! I'm a nun. 1.2500 0.06176 72 57 12 3
5218 According to Dogue, it’s very on-trend. 1.2500 0.06077 84 68 11 5
5219 They will all be wearing this next season 1.2500 0.06176 72 57 12 3
5220 You know, Charlie, they say peripheral vision is overrated. 1.2500 0.05585 84 66 15 3
5221 Ha! At least I don't look like an idiot. 1.2500 0.05851 72 56 14 2
5222 Once you get past the purpose, anything goes! 1.2500 0.05585 84 66 15 3
5223 No, it was not put on the wrong way. It’s just that I have recently become a member of the clergy.” 1.2500 0.05658 76 59 15 2
5224 When you hit 60 your whole perspective changes. 1.2500 0.06493 64 53 7 4
5225 Just one trip through the little dog-door will fix the problem! 1.2500 0.05764 80 63 14 3
5226 The trick is to hang out the window when the car is going into the wind. 1.2500 0.04795 92 70 21 1
5227 Don’t you know it’s a hoax 1.2500 0.05389 100 80 15 5
5228 It’s really quite exhilarating. 1.2500 0.05339 76 58 17 1
5229 omg you still have the old one 1.2500 0.05483 80 62 16 2
5230 I'm dressing for my body-type, Doug. Look it up. 1.2500 0.06248 76 61 11 4
5231 Fifty bucks. Benny will meet you at Midnight. Wait 'til you see the look on their faces in the morning. 1.2500 0.05705 92 74 13 5
5232 I'm trying to be more aero these days. 1.2500 0.05322 84 65 17 2
5233 Spot, nobody pops their collar anymore. 1.2500 0.05764 80 63 14 3
5234 Where have you been all my life? 1.2500 0.06289 80 65 10 5
5235 It’s impractical and expensive, but I just had to have it” 1.2500 0.05541 96 77 14 5
5236 I warned you about the prevailing north wind 1.2500 0.05186 80 61 18 1
5237 it's just I'm a little introvert. 1.2500 0.06749 68 55 9 4
5238 Channeling my inner Pilgrim—how’d I do? 1.2500 0.05657 88 70 14 4
5239 I just pull it up over my nose when they look at me. 1.2500 0.05960 76 60 13 3
5240 It’s at the peak of fashion, the retriever across the street wore it like this too. 1.2500 0.04539 92 71 20 1
5241 Oh you got The Elizabethan; next time, ask for The Pilgrim.” #SorryForNotFollowingDirectionsEarlie 1.2500 0.05837 84 67 13 4
5242 Before you say anything, I got vaccinated last week 1.2500 0.05541 96 77 14 5
5243 My owners and I compromised. 1.2500 0.05038 92 71 19 2
5244 I'm going to have a different tan line. 1.2500 0.06033 80 64 12 4
5245 Your just not running fast enough 1.2500 0.06176 72 57 12 3
5246 It’s a reverse vasectomy 1.2500 0.05837 84 67 13 4
5247 The key is choosing a garment that flatters your unique shape. 1.2500 0.05764 80 63 14 3
5248 It's the Puritan Pup look from Purina. 1.2500 0.05186 80 61 18 1
5249 Humans think they’re funny 1.2500 0.05322 84 65 17 2
5250 I guess our cones show who's the introvert and who's the extrovert, huh? 1.2500 0.05764 80 63 14 3
5251 ... at least with mine I still found a way to lick my crotch 1.2500 0.06786 76 63 7 6
5252 Yep. Stairway to Heaven definitely mentions Satan. 1.2500 0.06682 64 51 10 3
5253 Like I told you, my human is very sweet but D-U-M-B. Don't let him see you... 1.2500 0.06176 72 57 12 3
5254 . Mine is a fashion statement, you? 1.2500 0.05658 76 59 15 2
5255 My vet said it compliments my outgoing personality 1.2500 0.05421 88 69 16 3
5256 You’ve got to think big picture, George, your tunnel vision isn’t doing you any favors. 1.2500 0.05657 88 70 14 4
5257 As you can see, I’m an Innie. 1.2500 0.05893 64 49 14 1
5258 it’s so my ass can’t lick my face 1.2500 0.06101 88 72 10 6
5259 It's all about perspective, man 1.2500 0.05421 88 69 16 3
5260 Buddy, put your mask on right 1.2475 0.05341 101 81 15 5
5261 I prefer to think outside the barks. 1.2475 0.05152 101 80 17 4
5262 Just ask for a headbutt from a dog that hates you. 1.2474 0.05290 97 77 16 4
5263 Your right! I do have dumb owners. 1.2474 0.05682 97 79 12 6
5264 ‘I go both ways’ 1.2474 0.04867 97 75 20 2
5265 I lied to the trainee student vet and told him I am a Greyhound. I said I have a big race coming up and I need it to be streamlined. 1.2473 0.05439 93 74 15 4
5266 Fox said I could. 1.2473 0.05650 93 75 13 5
5267 This is how they're wearing it in Milan. 1.2473 0.05650 93 75 13 5
5268 Look at me, you got it all wrong 1.2473 0.04751 93 71 21 1
5269 It’ll all work out in the end. 1.2473 0.05650 93 75 13 5
5270 Mine's more of a fashion statement. 1.2472 0.05367 89 70 16 3
5271 I'm just not as focused as you are. 1.2472 0.06039 89 73 10 6
5272 At least you can hear. 1.2472 0.05600 89 71 14 4
5273 I read somewhere that wearing the Cone of Shame backwards makes you look 10 pounds lighter 1.2472 0.06247 89 74 8 7
5274 A two and a quarter gainer off the high board will fix that. 1.2472 0.05824 89 72 12 5
5275 Hey, technically I’m wearing it. Mange is a HOAX! 1.2472 0.06039 89 73 10 6
5276 My hearing's not as good but I'm ok eating the cheap stuff now" 1.2472 0.05367 89 70 16 3
5277 Trump told me to wear it this way 1.2472 0.06039 89 73 10 6
5278 You need to fix your collar. 1.2472 0.05367 89 70 16 3
5279 Thank goodness my owner's dyslexic. 1.2472 0.06039 89 73 10 6
5280 This aerodynamic design is much better for chasing squirrels. 1.2472 0.05600 89 71 14 4
5281 I was able to turn things around 1.2472 0.05124 89 69 18 2
5282 Now it's a cape of shame! 1.2472 0.05367 89 70 16 3
5283 No. This is a casting for the Handmaid’s Tale, buddy.” 1.2472 0.05600 89 71 14 4
5284 What? It's called FASHION, dog! 1.2472 0.05367 89 70 16 3
5285 I wear it this way to attract guys. 1.2472 0.05600 89 71 14 4
5286 Out of sight, out of mind. Trust me, Jerry, it helps 1.2472 0.05367 89 70 16 3
5287 Be the change you want to see in the world, Reggie. 1.2472 0.05600 89 71 14 4
5288 It’s called innovation. 1.2472 0.05367 89 70 16 3
5289 Millennials. 1.2472 0.05824 89 72 12 5
5290 . "They told me my relatives came over on the Mayflower." 1.2472 0.05367 89 70 16 3
5291 Yeah, I saw it on Kickstarter... 1.2472 0.05600 89 71 14 4
5292 Vets hate this one trick! 1.2471 0.06013 85 69 11 5
5293 it's supposed to be a face guard not a chin guard. 1.2471 0.05527 85 67 15 3
5294 Works soooo much better hanging out a car window. 1.2471 0.06013 85 69 11 5
5295 No there’s nothing wrong with me. I’m just drunk 1.2471 0.05527 85 67 15 3
5296 My folks tried reverse psychology. 1.2471 0.05527 85 67 15 3
5297 That shade is so last season. 1.2471 0.05527 85 67 15 3
5298 This way it's easier when I go out for a bite. 1.2471 0.04995 85 65 19 1
5299 I'd take it back that is so 2020. 1.2471 0.06241 85 70 9 6
5300 Nobody's going to tell me whether I can bite my tail or not. 1.2471 0.05527 85 67 15 3
5301 I can finally get through the dog door 1.2471 0.05775 85 68 13 4
5302 Your bib is on backwards! 1.2471 0.05268 85 66 17 2
5303 I have a dyslexic master. 1.2471 0.05775 85 68 13 4
5304 Implants. 1.2471 0.05268 85 66 17 2
5305 If you plan on doing any projectile vomiting you're gonna want to wear it like this. Trust me. 1.2471 0.05775 85 68 13 4
5306 Yours is Elizabethan ... mine's from the Interregnum! 1.2471 0.04995 85 65 19 1
5307 I challenge you to a race against the wind. 1.2471 0.05775 85 68 13 4
5308 This cone of shame was designed by Porsche 1.2471 0.05527 85 67 15 3
5309 Rebel, rebel! 1.2471 0.05268 85 66 17 2
5310 Wearing it this way is more slimming, don't you think? 1.2471 0.05775 85 68 13 4
5311 I see you are from the Southern hemisphere 1.2471 0.05775 85 68 13 4
5312 I just don’t believe being a bridesmaid has to be totally humiliating. 1.2471 0.05527 85 67 15 3
5313 I’ve always been more of a lamp then a flashlight myself 1.2471 0.05268 85 66 17 2
5314 ...and I'm faster now. 1.2471 0.05527 85 67 15 3
5315 No matter...it’s still a cone of shame 1.2471 0.05775 85 68 13 4
5316 Starch. 1.2471 0.05775 85 68 13 4
5317 This way you can still spy on the neighbors 1.2471 0.04995 85 65 19 1
5318 Stop trying to make fetch happen, Karen 1.2471 0.06241 85 70 9 6
5319 Who wore it better, who who? 1.2471 0.05527 85 67 15 3
5320 I wish they’d gotten a second opinion. 1.2469 0.05424 81 63 16 2
5321 my owner is appearance oriented, rather than result oriented 1.2469 0.05966 81 65 12 4
5322 Okay I'll bite, what's wrong? 1.2469 0.05424 81 63 16 2
5323 You look a lot shadier then I do! 1.2469 0.05701 81 64 14 3
5324 I'll lick your leg if you pick my nose. 1.2469 0.05701 81 64 14 3
5325 My human just took me to Red Lobster" 1.2469 0.04821 81 61 20 0
5326 Really? Your handmaid has a tail? 1.2469 0.05424 81 63 16 2
5327 Yeah, I got drunk at the party last night, too. 1.2469 0.06219 81 66 10 5
5328 All you have to do is run as fast as you can into the doggie door and your whole view on life changes. 1.2469 0.05966 81 65 12 4
5329 Now we can smooch on Valentines Day! 1.2469 0.05966 81 65 12 4
5330 If you run fast enough it just magically flips back! 1.2469 0.05966 81 65 12 4
5331 Its the fashion in Paris this year. 1.2469 0.05701 81 64 14 3
5332 Well first-your owner’s car has to have a sunroof. 1.2469 0.05701 81 64 14 3
5333 So I hear you caught the car. 1.2469 0.05966 81 65 12 4
5334 My human thinks it’s trendy, and he doesn’t know that I can still reach my junk. Everybody wins. 1.2469 0.05424 81 63 16 2
5335 I’ll be damned if I know... 1.2469 0.05701 81 64 14 3
5336 You must be an Australian Shepherd 1.2469 0.05424 81 63 16 2
5337 The car I was chasing kept hitting red lights. 1.2469 0.05424 81 63 16 2
5338 You win some, you lose some. 1.2469 0.05966 81 65 12 4
5339 I prefer to call it a ruff. 1.2469 0.05966 81 65 12 4
5340 Wow, your breath is terrible. 1.2469 0.04658 81 68 9 4
5341 My humans flunked geometry. 1.2469 0.06219 81 66 10 5
5342 It's not great for the acoustics, but it sure speeds up my running. 1.2469 0.05424 81 63 16 2
5343 Well, I see veterinary medicine has progressed since the Mayflower. 1.2469 0.05966 81 65 12 4
5344 You can do it! Just run full speed head first into wall. 1.2469 0.06219 81 66 10 5
5345 They weren't kidding about that easternly wind! 1.2469 0.05424 81 63 16 2
5346 It's "gangsta-style." 1.2469 0.06219 81 66 10 5
5347 Remember “Bowl half empty or half full?” Same concept... 1.2469 0.05424 81 63 16 2
5348 Look at the bright side. You now have someone hand feeding you! 1.2469 0.05701 81 64 14 3
5349 It's more a fashion statement. 1.2469 0.05701 81 64 14 3
5350 Why Elizabeth, I thought you'd be pleased. I was just going for something different, a more masculine look, if you will. 1.2469 0.05701 81 64 14 3
5351 snairaniretev tnereffid ot og ew ees I 1.2469 0.05701 81 64 14 3
5352 Real friends will never let you look stupid alone. 1.2469 0.05424 81 63 16 2
5353 The inverse of a function may not always be a function 1.2469 0.05701 81 64 14 3
5354 My owners are woke now, Rex. No more echo chambers for any of us ever again. 1.2469 0.05835 81 67 9 5
5355 No really, try it this way, much more aerodynamic 1.2469 0.05966 81 65 12 4
5356 I guess I should have read the instructions 1.2469 0.05701 81 64 14 3
5357 Cone of shame? Mine’s a cone of acclaim! 1.2469 0.05131 81 62 18 1
5358 It’s so my privates can’t lick my face. 1.2469 0.06462 81 67 8 6
5359 You look like the idiot humans who don’t wear a mask right. 1.2469 0.05701 81 64 14 3
5360 Why, you ask? One word: aerodynamics 1.2469 0.05701 81 64 14 3
5361 Brace yourself; they need to cover our faces now, too. 1.2468 0.06175 77 62 11 4
5362 I can get you a bite or a scratch, no problem. But a lick, and with salve involved -- it's gonna cost ya. 1.2468 0.05594 77 60 15 2
5363 I opted for the Eton collar rather than the traditional Elizabethan. What do you think? 1.2468 0.05891 77 61 13 3
5364 To get yours like this, you have to run really REALLY fast. 1.2468 0.06445 77 63 9 5
5365 Just got my second shot! 1.2468 0.06175 77 62 11 4
5366 On days like this I'm lucky my human is dyslexic 1.2468 0.06175 77 62 11 4
5367 I’m smelling opportunity here! 1.2468 0.06175 77 62 11 4
5368 I hear Autopilot will be available soon” 1.2468 0.05280 77 59 17 1
5369 I think of myself as a trendsetter. 1.2468 0.05594 77 60 15 2
5370 I swear, it's taken one human year off my face! 1.2468 0.05594 77 60 15 2
5371 You can fix this. Mine was like that until I cited my religious objection to looking like a dork. 1.2468 0.06175 77 62 11 4
5372 It adds five miles an hour to my top speed, but at the expense of a bit of lift at the front end. 1.2468 0.05594 77 60 15 2
5373 Popped collar! You from the 80s? 1.2468 0.05594 77 60 15 2
5374 Perk up! Pretend that we're Major and Champ! 1.2468 0.06175 77 62 11 4
5375 Folding space is easy. Time is a whole other thing. You in? 1.2468 0.05594 77 60 15 2
5376 I just told them I'm suffering from PTSD and they changed it to this! 1.2468 0.05280 77 59 17 1
5377 I prefer it this way as it's more aerodynamic 1.2468 0.05891 77 61 13 3
5378 You bite my back, I'll bite yours! 1.2468 0.05439 77 62 12 3
5379 Is yours the cone of uncertainty or the cone of shame? 1.2468 0.05594 77 60 15 2
5380 Are the people in your house pro-mask or anti-mask? 1.2468 0.05891 77 61 13 3
5381 You're the "innie," and I'm the "outie." 1.2468 0.06175 77 62 11 4
5382 My companion person is dyslexic 1.2468 0.05594 77 60 15 2
5383 You have to think out the cone 1.2468 0.05594 77 60 15 2
5384 They call it a Brazilian blow-out. 1.2468 0.06175 77 62 11 4
5385 Well I bet your bark carries farther. 1.2468 0.06445 77 63 9 5
5386 I'm marketing it as "The Cowl of Growl." 1.2468 0.06175 77 62 11 4
5387 So Gerald the fellas and I have decided that you're not welcome back at poker night. 1.2468 0.05891 77 61 13 3
5388 I saw it on the internet 1.2468 0.05594 77 60 15 2
5389 You go to fashion week one time...and now this 🙄 1.2468 0.05280 77 61 14 2
5390 oh, this?? my human’s just trying to get the kid into Friends Quaker School 1.2468 0.06175 77 62 11 4
5391 I say, let go of the shame 1.2468 0.05594 77 60 15 2
5392 It’s my constitutional right to wear my cone the way I want to wear my cone. 1.2468 0.05891 77 61 13 3
5393 Are you practicing for ‘His masters voice’ 1.2468 0.04945 77 58 19 0
5394 You are wearing it all wrong!" Said the ignorant 1.2468 0.05594 77 60 15 2
5395 Says you. 1.2466 0.06405 73 59 10 4
5396 I see the possibilities. 1.2466 0.05780 73 57 14 2
5397 I just think this is ergonomically superior. 1.2466 0.05080 73 55 18 0
5398 I don't catch as much wind this way. 1.2466 0.06101 73 58 12 3
5399 No really! We look like Air Pods! 1.2466 0.05780 73 57 14 2
5400 How'd you beat the system? 1.2466 0.05441 73 56 16 1
5401 Darling,the Elizabethan high collar looks fine! But I'm a tad concerned about the cod piece. 1.2466 0.06101 73 58 12 3
5402 I’m not injured, I just like the white background. 1.2466 0.06101 73 58 12 3
5403 My owner's an asshole! 1.2466 0.06405 73 59 10 4
5404 Convert my friend. Being an innie is overrated. 1.2466 0.06405 73 59 10 4
5405 Popped collars are so 2003, bro!" 1.2466 0.06101 73 58 12 3
5406 I'm built for speed! 1.2466 0.05780 73 57 14 2
5407 It’s trending now! 1.2466 0.05441 73 56 16 1
5408 The preppy collar is outdated, puritan style is all the rage. 1.2466 0.05780 73 57 14 2
5409 Hey, baby. Looks like we’re cleared for docking... 1.2466 0.06695 73 60 8 5
5410 They say it streamlines me, so I can run faster. What's yours for? 1.2466 0.06101 73 58 12 3
5411 finally, I found the light at the end of the tunnel. 1.2466 0.06405 73 59 10 4
5412 I guess you can say we're a less traditionalist denomination. 1.2466 0.05780 73 57 14 2
5413 Ok millennial 1.2466 0.06101 73 58 12 3
5414 Oh, so you're an introvert. 1.2466 0.05780 73 57 14 2
5415 our toilet water swirls the other way here too 1.2466 0.06405 73 59 10 4
5416 It’s called fashion, look it up, Susan. 1.2466 0.06101 73 58 12 3
5417 Well, I used to fit through the cat door. 1.2466 0.06405 73 59 10 4
5418 You definitely wear it better 1.2466 0.06695 73 60 8 5
5419 It's easier this way. 1.2466 0.06101 73 58 12 3
5420 Flying my freak flag high! 1.2464 0.05986 69 54 13 2
5421 So I said, “really, c’mon, aren’t rules meant to be broken?” 1.2464 0.06660 69 56 9 4
5422 That's the most ridiculous thing I've ever seen. 1.2464 0.05619 69 53 15 1
5423 I assured them my butt was off limits. 1.2464 0.06332 69 55 11 3
5424 I just claimed it was impinging on my Freedom of Speech and voila! 1.2464 0.05619 69 53 15 1
5425 I went to a managed care vet care and my human parents received the best and quickest services 1.2464 0.05986 69 54 13 2
5426 I don’t know, maybe they put your’s on backwards. 1.2464 0.06332 69 55 11 3
5427 I believe we were made for each other! 1.2464 0.06332 69 55 11 3
5428 I know it's on wrong but I can breathe a lot easier this way. 1.2464 0.06332 69 55 11 3
5429 I think this is their idea of safe sex. 1.2464 0.05619 69 53 15 1
5430 No, I can't spell aerodynamics, but I grasp it's meaning 1.2464 0.06332 69 55 11 3
5431 Yah, my owner is dyslexic. She also named me Tops. 1.2464 0.07272 69 58 5 6
5432 I think it has a slimming effect, don’t you? 1.2464 0.05986 69 54 13 2
5433 I think My doctor is dyslexic 1.2464 0.05986 69 54 13 2
5434 I just told them I saw it trending on TikTok. 1.2464 0.05986 69 54 13 2
5435 You seem vexed, I conned and he caved. 1.2464 0.06332 69 55 11 3
5436 Just be more flexible. 1.2464 0.06332 69 55 11 3
5437 Have you tried switching carriers? My service is great! Full bars almost everywhere! 1.2462 0.06589 65 52 10 3
5438 My Vet did an extra year at La Sorbonne! 1.2462 0.06589 65 52 10 3
5439 No, Jerry, I don’t care if I can’t walk...I love it 1.2462 0.06214 65 51 12 2
5440 Actually, I like the way it looks. 1.2459 0.06468 61 48 11 2
5441 For five bucks, I can head-butt you right out of that. 1.2459 0.06468 61 48 11 2
5442 And if I use the brown leash it really coordinates the entire outfit. 1.2459 0.06031 61 47 13 1
5443 It's a reversible model. 1.2459 0.05559 61 46 15 0
5444 Social Media loves a rebel. 1.2456 0.07203 57 46 8 3
5445 Who knew? 1.2451 0.05294 102 82 15 5
5446 you look so 2020! 1.2451 0.04914 102 80 19 3
5447 Little Black Dog by Coco Chanel 1.2449 0.05242 98 78 16 4
5448 Just to be different 1.2449 0.04824 98 76 20 2
5449 I’ve got gas 1.2449 0.05439 98 81 11 6
5450 That's not going to make you hear any better,plus it makes you look stupid. 1.2449 0.05242 98 78 16 4
5451 My mileage is so much better wearing it this way.” 1.2449 0.05037 98 77 18 3
5452 You scratch mine and I'll scratch yours. 1.2447 0.05387 94 75 15 4
5453 Hazing is always humiliating. 1.2447 0.05387 94 75 15 4
5454 Does this make my butt look big? 1.2447 0.06179 94 79 7 8
5455 It looks cooler and significantly reduces aerodynamic drag. 1.2447 0.05171 94 74 17 3
5456 Yeah. I don't know, either. 1.2447 0.05596 94 76 13 5
5457 What's inside out? 1.2447 0.05171 94 74 17 3
5458 Ah I see you've had an encounter with a popcorn bowl too. 1.2447 0.05171 94 74 17 3
5459 All you gotta do is stick your head out the window when the car is doing 80. 1.2447 0.05387 94 75 15 4
5460 Don't ask about how I was neutered. 1.2447 0.05596 94 76 13 5
5461 This is the cone by Calvin Klein. 1.2447 0.05596 94 76 13 5
5462 It's the new aerodynamic model." 1.2444 0.04822 90 69 20 1
5463 I thought they were taking me out for an ice cream cone. 1.2444 0.05314 90 71 16 3
5464 I got a face lift. 1.2444 0.04822 90 69 20 1
5465 It’s a new retro design. Emulates a 17th century Dutch ruff. 1.2444 0.05544 90 72 14 4
5466 It doesn't stop me from licking myself very well, but it's MUCH easier to eat. 1.2444 0.05544 90 72 14 4
5467 Didn't fit through the doggy door. The game was on. Voila. 1.2444 0.05314 90 71 16 3
5468 Yeah, my owner has dyslexia. But also worships me. 1.2444 0.05978 90 74 10 6
5469 Hey I get Animal Planet this way. 1.2444 0.05314 90 71 16 3
5470 You missed the point, it's all about style." 1.2444 0.05978 90 74 10 6
5471 That lampshade look is so 80’s. 1.2444 0.05074 90 70 18 2
5472 I guess we could chew eat other’s butt? 1.2444 0.05074 90 70 18 2
5473 Well, it happens to be quite windy outside. 1.2444 0.05765 90 73 12 5
5474 It’s a new twist on the Elizabethan trend. 1.2444 0.05074 90 70 18 2
5475 It's called haute couture, Stanley. But on you it's just a cone. 1.2444 0.05544 90 72 14 4
5476 I...uh...haven’t seen him. Why do you ask? 1.2444 0.05074 90 70 18 2
5477 I finally caught my tail 1.2444 0.05978 90 74 10 6
5478 I hear it’s all the rage with the Gen Z influencers. 1.2444 0.05074 90 70 18 2
5479 I can sniff better 1.2444 0.05314 90 71 16 3
5480 Lady Gaga, how about you? 1.2444 0.05314 90 71 16 3
5481 It’s called reverse psy-cone-logy Frank. 1.2444 0.05544 90 72 14 4
5482 Hey, at least I am wearing one, right? 1.2444 0.05314 90 71 16 3
5483 I just let them think this is how you put it on. 1.2442 0.04945 86 66 19 1
5484 No, I still get laughed at, but this is much more slimming. 1.2442 0.04660 86 67 18 1
5485 My vet used to be a mohel. 1.2442 0.05470 86 68 15 3
5486 COVID has turned everything upside down. 1.2442 0.06175 86 71 9 6
5487 Well in my house we call it "the cape of shame." 1.2442 0.05470 86 68 15 3
5488 That's not solidarity, it's ridicule. 1.2442 0.05715 86 69 13 4
5489 Maybe they think it will help you to hear better. I think mine lets me run faster. 1.2442 0.05214 86 67 17 2
5490 I pass a lot of gas 1.2442 0.05949 86 70 11 5
5491 Well, my owner is a direct descendent of the Puritans. 1.2442 0.05470 86 68 15 3
5492 Never wear it right after Labor Day. 1.2442 0.05715 86 69 13 4
5493 Because it’s not a cone. It’s an enoc. 1.2442 0.05715 86 69 13 4
5494 Whoa, that's so cool! I would have never thought of wearing it that way. 1.2442 0.05715 86 69 13 4
5495 This way elongates the neck! 1.2442 0.05715 86 69 13 4
5496 What’s your habit??? 1.2442 0.05715 86 69 13 4
5497 I don't care if they're here to protect us, these cones infringe on our rights. 1.2442 0.04945 86 66 19 1
5498 I flipped it when all the toilet paper sold out. 1.2442 0.05715 86 69 13 4
5499 No YOURS is the wrong way around. 1.2442 0.05470 86 68 15 3
5500 Can I have your therapist’s number? 1.2442 0.05470 86 68 15 3
5501 my mom is an artist... 1.2442 0.05214 86 67 17 2
5502 It means my balls can’t lick my mouth 1.2442 0.05715 86 69 13 4
5503 I think your thing is on wrong 1.2442 0.06393 86 72 7 7
5504 My mom says if you wear it backwards, your butt wont sniff your face 😀 1.2442 0.05214 86 67 17 2
5505 My attorney found a loophole. 1.2439 0.05366 82 64 16 2
5506 I’ll scratch your back if you scratch mine. 1.2439 0.05639 82 65 14 3
5507 Yes, I stuck my head in the trash can. Why? 1.2439 0.05366 82 64 16 2
5508 It's because I'm a girl! 1.2439 0.05639 82 65 14 3
5509 It's all about aerodynamics. 1.2439 0.05366 82 64 16 2
5510 Wise up, little brother; you just slip the vet a little kibble ! 1.2439 0.05639 82 65 14 3
5511 Sorry, you got stuck with the old "dark tunnel of despair" model, Frank. I thought all the vets moved to the new "top of the world" version in 2021 1.2439 0.05639 82 65 14 3
5512 OK, for 50 bones I'll lick your butt too. 1.2439 0.06150 82 67 10 5
5513 My vet has always been fashion forward. 1.2439 0.05077 82 63 18 1
5514 I'm trying a virtual vet 1.2439 0.05366 82 64 16 2
5515 It minimizes potential greeting discomfort this way 1.2439 0.05366 82 64 16 2
5516 My injury isn't there... 1.2439 0.05900 82 66 12 4
5517 Sure. And I'm Sir Walter Raleigh! 1.2439 0.05639 82 65 14 3
5518 Yes, my dad wears his baseball cap with the brim in the back. 1.2439 0.05077 82 63 18 1
5519 At least I don't look like an English Playwright. 1.2439 0.05639 82 65 14 3
5520 Yeah, upgrade. This one is 5G! 1.2439 0.05900 82 66 12 4
5521 My collar. The tailor on 47th street. 1.2439 0.04771 82 62 20 0
5522 If ya' wanna get ahead, ya' gotta think outside the cone. 1.2439 0.05639 82 65 14 3
5523 Sure, I can lick. But you'll never miss a frisbee again! 1.2439 0.05077 82 63 18 1
5524 It took a lot of of self examination and took awhile, but eventually I had a breakthrough! 1.2439 0.06150 82 67 10 5
5525 I think you have it on backwards. 1.2439 0.05366 82 64 16 2
5526 So, you think your bark is bigger now? 1.2439 0.06150 82 67 10 5
5527 They got tired of me barking at them ‘from the inside of a Rin-Tin-Tin can’. 1.2439 0.05639 82 70 6 6
5528 Someone's dyslexic. 1.2439 0.06390 82 68 8 6
5529 Is your vet a republican? 1.2439 0.05900 82 66 12 4
5530 My vet says this is how they’re wearing them in Italy now 1.2439 0.06150 82 67 10 5
5531 Less wind resistance when you’re chasing cars. 1.2439 0.05366 82 64 16 2
5532 No, this is a Dutch Renaissance collar 1.2439 0.06150 82 67 10 5
5533 Bummer. Let me guess - your owner is one of those mask-wearers. 1.2439 0.05900 82 66 12 4
5534 Let me guess... your mom still rocks a side part and skinny jeans... 1.2439 0.05900 82 66 12 4
5535 I'm gonna set a trend, watch 1.2439 0.05366 82 64 16 2
5536 As long as one of us has it on, we should be safe from being parents. 1.2439 0.06622 82 69 6 7
5537 Things are upside down right now. 1.2439 0.05223 82 66 13 3
5538 I’m starting my own podcast about liberating yourself from the cone of shame to be the best version of your pet-identity. 1.2439 0.05639 82 65 14 3
5539 Yeah. It’s supposed to be like this. My owner is a priest. 1.2439 0.06150 82 67 10 5
5540 Let me guess; you chased a cat through a floor lamp too! 1.2439 0.05639 82 65 14 3
5541 Didn't realize which way the wind was blowing? 1.2436 0.05824 78 62 13 3
5542 I’m not buying the Fake Media. This won’t protect us from anything. 1.2436 0.06103 78 63 11 4
5543 You’re such an introvert! 1.2436 0.06370 78 64 9 5
5544 Somehow it makes me feel less shamey and more trendy! 1.2436 0.05824 78 62 13 3
5545 As a recovering compulsive tail chaser, I find both of us prefer things this way. 1.2436 0.05221 78 60 17 1
5546 I’m a dog, not a sheep 1.2436 0.05824 78 62 13 3
5547 Being an influencer is nothing to bark at. 1.2436 0.05531 78 61 15 2
5548 At least I can still lick my balls. 1.2436 0.05824 78 62 13 3
5549 Look in a mirror and you'll see yourself like this. 1.2436 0.05531 78 61 15 2
5550 They didn't say how to wear them. 1.2436 0.05221 78 60 17 1
5551 Sally,don't you know that style is SOOO last year? 1.2436 0.06370 78 64 9 5
5552 The space between us is greater than you but less than me. 1.2436 0.05824 78 62 13 3
5553 Yes, there are benefits to being a puritan male over a handmaid. 1.2436 0.06370 78 64 9 5
5554 Finally, the man's dyslexia pays off. 1.2436 0.06626 78 65 7 6
5555 On the other hand, this one is more aerodynamic. 1.2436 0.05824 78 62 13 3
5556 I told them I wanted to keep my peripheral vision!" 1.2436 0.06370 78 64 9 5
5557 She's Left handed 1.2436 0.05824 78 62 13 3
5558 They call it the Cone of Body-Shame! 1.2436 0.05531 78 61 15 2
5559 You need a sympathy angle, Jack. I never let him forget he docked my tail. 1.2436 0.05824 78 62 13 3
5560 Function or fashion, that is the question. 1.2436 0.05531 78 61 15 2
5561 Nooo...The Deep State is lying to YOU! 1.2436 0.06103 78 63 11 4
5562 It’s less effective, but way more aerodynamic 1.2436 0.05221 78 60 17 1
5563 You’re talking about oppression; I’m talking about speed 1.2436 0.05531 78 61 15 2
5564 I find this way to be more flattering 1.2436 0.05824 78 62 13 3
5565 Hey Doug, your cape's on backward! 1.2436 0.05824 78 62 13 3
5566 You must unlearn what you have learned 1.2436 0.05824 78 62 13 3
5567 It's called circular fashion. 1.2436 0.06103 78 63 11 4
5568 ‘It’s called fashion jerry, look it up’ 1.2436 0.05531 78 61 15 2
5569 Engineering says this design is much more aerodynamic when chasing squirrels 1.2436 0.05221 78 60 17 1
5570 I decided to walk in backwards 1.2436 0.05531 78 61 15 2
5571 Then, all of our patio furniture blew into Rex and Luna's pool. 1.2432 0.06027 74 59 12 3
5572 Well, I was playing with a lampshade and got stuck. 1.2432 0.06027 74 59 12 3
5573 Normal for my owner, half the time her tag is in the front. 1.2432 0.06027 74 59 12 3
5574 You get used to it. 1.2432 0.05711 74 58 14 2
5575 Listen carefully, the rift in space-time is open for only a moment... 1.2432 0.06027 74 59 12 3
5576 Good to be dressed up and getting out. 1.2432 0.06027 74 59 12 3
5577 Hey, my owner’s dyslexic, but I like it. I’m more aerodynamic. 1.2432 0.05711 74 58 14 2
5578 One of us has the damn thing on backwards. 1.2432 0.06027 74 59 12 3
5579 Its called a Peter Pan collar. 1.2432 0.06027 74 59 12 3
5580 Hold on... Is popping your collar back in style again? 1.2432 0.06327 74 60 10 4
5581 If you turn that thing around like mine,they will let you stick your head out the window all the way home. Oh . . . and you'll look a lot smarter going down the road too. 1.2432 0.06327 74 60 10 4
5582 It makes me look ten pounds lighter. 1.2432 0.05378 74 57 16 1
5583 Popped collars are so last year, Bob. 1.2432 0.05378 74 57 16 1
5584 You still can’t chew your butt, but the aerodynamics on this version are great! 1.2432 0.06613 74 61 8 5
5585 Don't ask me, I don't even know how to spell frustrum 1.2432 0.05154 111 90 15 6
5586 I like it. But it’s no Ruth Bader Ginsburg. 1.2432 0.05711 74 58 14 2
5587 I healed months ago but it keeps my neck warm. 1.2432 0.06027 74 59 12 3
5588 Wow, you look like a character from the Handmaid's Tale. 1.2432 0.06027 74 59 12 3
5589 I convinced them it is more aerodynamic. 1.2432 0.05711 74 58 14 2
5590 C’mon.That’s last year’s look. 1.2432 0.05711 74 58 14 2
5591 Yo dawg. 1.2432 0.06327 74 60 10 4
5592 It's a political statement 1.2432 0.06327 74 60 10 4
5593 What do you mean it has to go over my nose? 1.2432 0.06327 74 60 10 4
5594 They were worried about my self esteem. 1.2432 0.05378 74 57 16 1
5595 Oh look, we fit! 1.2432 0.06613 74 61 8 5
5596 This is how they were wearing them on the Yves Saint Bernard Spring runway in Paris. 1.2432 0.03995 74 61 11 2
5597 You should see the other lamp 1.2432 0.06027 74 59 12 3
5598 I figured that if I had to wear it, I might as well make it into a fashion statement. 1.2432 0.06027 74 59 12 3
5599 Wearing your cone that way makes you look like a millennial, Steve. 1.2432 0.06027 74 59 12 3
5600 I'll have what she's having 1.2432 0.05378 74 57 16 1
5601 Brother, you are not a 17th century British king. 1.2429 0.05549 70 54 15 1
5602 Didn't we first meet at the lampshade factory? 1.2429 0.05910 70 55 13 2
5603 No. All necks matter! 1.2429 0.05910 70 55 13 2
5604 I decided to ditch conventional wisdom. 1.2429 0.05910 70 55 13 2
5605 Don’t you see! We’re made for each other! 1.2429 0.05910 70 55 13 2
5606 That style is soooo last dog-year. 1.2429 0.06251 70 56 11 3
5607 Try it this way, it actually looks pretty cool. 1.2429 0.05910 70 55 13 2
5608 I have peripheral vision. Do you??? 1.2429 0.06251 70 56 11 3
5609 It’s really more about keeping my butt away from my mouth than my mouth away from my butt. 1.2429 0.06251 70 56 11 3
5610 Do that bark again; you sound so dramatic. 1.2429 0.06574 70 57 9 4
5611 You needed to negotiate a better deal, my friend. 1.2429 0.06251 70 56 11 3
5612 It's all in how you train the human. 1.2429 0.06251 70 56 11 3
5613 My Vet is left-handed. 1.2429 0.06574 70 57 9 4
5614 Try it--less wind resistance, faster to our bowls. 1.2429 0.05549 70 54 15 1
5615 Just be the light you want to see in the world. 1.2429 0.06574 70 57 9 4
5616 She said it makes my face look thinner. 1.2429 0.06251 70 56 11 3
5617 It's way safer this way for crossing the street. 1.2429 0.06251 70 56 11 3
5618 It seems there ARE two ways about it 1.2429 0.06251 70 56 11 3
5619 Well, the Elizabethan has been done to death....I wanted to go for more of a Peter Pan collar, or perhaps Mandarin 1.2429 0.06574 70 57 9 4
5620 I just got back from Australia,mate! 1.2429 0.06251 70 56 11 3
5621 It's a match, baby 1.2429 0.05910 70 55 13 2
5622 So what? The world is upside down too. 1.2429 0.05910 70 55 13 2
5623 I've been kind of gassy lately. 1.2424 0.06499 66 53 10 3
5624 It's called reverse psychology. 1.2424 0.06130 66 52 12 2
5625 My vet is a moderate progressive. 1.2424 0.06130 66 52 12 2
5626 You're gonna get sunburned. 1.2424 0.05195 99 79 16 4
5627 I'm not gonna beg, you'll either lick 'em or you won't. 1.2424 0.05578 99 81 12 6
5628 It's just a matter of perspective, Howie. 1.2424 0.05737 66 51 14 1
5629 My human is dyslexic -- and I like it! 1.2424 0.06499 66 53 10 3
5630 Show me yours and I'll show you mine. 1.2424 0.05737 66 51 14 1
5631 For ten bucks I'll nibble that itchy spot and throw in a lick. 1.2424 0.05759 99 82 10 7
5632 If you'll lick mine I'll ... 1.2424 0.06130 66 52 12 2
5633 Cone Fusion 1.2424 0.05390 99 80 14 5
5634 I'm binary. 1.2424 0.07498 66 56 4 6
5635 I voted to acquit. 1.2421 0.05741 95 78 11 6
5636 Now, that's sensible. 1.2421 0.05337 95 76 15 4
5637 My human says if I wear it like this, the space lasers won't get me 1.2421 0.05337 95 76 15 4
5638 I'm going to have to ask you to put your mask upright before we seat you inside 1.2421 0.05741 95 78 11 6
5639 It’s really versatile! 1.2421 0.04899 95 74 19 2
5640 Well, if you go through a pet door real fast... 1.2419 0.06375 62 49 11 2
5641 Fox? No way. I watch MSNBC. 1.2419 0.05483 62 47 15 0
5642 My owners said this way I could lick others. 1.2419 0.05237 62 49 12 1
5643 My vet is on 7th Ave. 1.2419 0.06375 62 49 11 2
5644 That cone is soooo last week! 1.2419 0.06777 62 50 9 3
5645 Hope for a strong headwind. 1.2418 0.05263 91 72 16 3
5646 The vet said it's ok. I'm in remission. 1.2418 0.05263 91 72 16 3
5647 Same effect, just more aerodynamic. 1.2418 0.05490 91 73 14 4
5648 My surgery was long ago. This is a fashion statement. 1.2418 0.05490 91 73 14 4
5649 Cone of shame? I like to call it my poncho of opportunity. 1.2418 0.05490 91 73 14 4
5650 Let me guess. Is your human a Democrat? Mine is a Republican. But we can play, okay? 1.2418 0.05263 91 72 16 3
5651 Dad put it on this way. He says that it's helping me learn the concept of natural consequences. 1.2418 0.05263 91 72 16 3
5652 This is the way they wear it in Milan. 1.2418 0.05490 91 73 14 4
5653 That's right Tess, I'm the male! 1.2418 0.05490 91 73 14 4
5654 Liberal VS Conservative 1.2418 0.05263 91 72 16 3
5655 I didn’t realize they came in reverse 1.2418 0.05708 91 74 12 5
5656 You are only as good as your cone of vision. 1.2418 0.05490 91 73 14 4
5657 Function vs. Fashion 1.2418 0.05025 91 71 18 2
5658 I'm telling you, Frank, this is going to be all the rage next Fall. 1.2418 0.05025 91 73 15 3
5659 I know it looks silly, but I can run so much faster! 1.2414 0.04895 87 67 19 1
5660 You are the concave to my convex. 1.2414 0.06110 87 72 9 6
5661 My drag coefficient is near zero. 1.2414 0.05887 87 71 11 5
5662 I will scratch your ear if you scratch my neck 1.2414 0.06650 58 46 10 2
5663 I'll scratch your face for you, if you'll scratch my shoulder. 1.2414 0.05161 87 68 17 2
5664 They say “opposites attract.”saytps://www.newyorker.com/cartoons/contest#thisweek?reload=true 1.2414 0.05414 87 69 15 3
5665 I wore that style last year 1.2414 0.05161 87 68 17 2
5666 I can kiss you better now. 1.2414 0.05414 87 69 15 3
5667 Face it, two cone dogs are better than one. 1.2414 0.05656 87 70 13 4
5668 No time for butt sniffing; we have to scratch each other's stitches before our humans find us. 1.2414 0.05656 87 70 13 4
5669 By wearing it backwards I can still lick your parts. 1.2414 0.05656 87 70 13 4
5670 Don't ask, my Vet does like to read instructions. 1.2414 0.05414 87 69 15 3
5671 Agree to disagree. 1.2414 0.05414 87 69 15 3
5672 What can I say? My owner loves playing fetch 1.2414 0.05161 87 68 17 2
5673 I know, I know, but at least I can clean my butt. I'm not even gonna look at yours. 1.2414 0.05656 87 70 13 4
5674 Sometimes I like to pretend I’m William Shakespeare. It helps pass the time. 1.2414 0.05414 87 69 15 3
5675 I chose the Puritan Collar Style 1.2414 0.05656 87 70 13 4
5676 Me? ...I was changing a lightbulb. 1.2414 0.05656 87 70 13 4
5677 I was doing my business at fashion week. 1.2414 0.05414 87 69 15 3
5678 Wow you wear it like that? That is so old what a boomer 1.2414 0.06110 87 72 9 6
5679 It's so I can fetch aerodynamically. 1.2410 0.04876 83 66 15 2
5680 I saw it done in Paris last season. 1.2410 0.05579 83 66 14 3
5681 No. Too last year...Handmaid's Tale 1.2410 0.05309 83 65 16 2
5682 My spiritual guru told me to turn inward. 1.2410 0.06320 83 69 8 6
5683 I can easily reach my food dish, hear better and reach my shorter tail. 1.2410 0.05024 83 64 18 1
5684 Windy outside. 1.2410 0.05309 83 65 16 2
5685 They say I have a pretty strong case. 1.2410 0.05579 83 66 14 3
5686 dumb and dumber 1.2410 0.05836 83 67 12 4
5687 I mean, looks good on you that way. 1.2410 0.05579 83 66 14 3
5688 I wish I could say, "You wear it well." 1.2410 0.05309 83 65 16 2
5689 It's all about the optics! 1.2410 0.05024 83 64 18 1
5690 I get much better reception this way. 1.2410 0.05836 83 67 12 4
5691 I tell you, it really did not take that long to train them. 1.2410 0.05579 83 66 14 3
5692 I can sniff all the butts I want. Can you? 1.2410 0.05579 83 66 14 3
5693 Yeah, I've just never liked that preppy style with my collar 1.2410 0.05309 83 65 16 2
5694 I am telling you, it increases cornering grip and decreases fuel consumption! 1.2410 0.05024 83 66 15 2
5695 Resistance is futile. Embrace the era of the augmented. 1.2410 0.05309 83 65 16 2
5696 My stylist said it was totally retro. 1.2410 0.05579 83 66 14 3
5697 What a party! My owner was wearing a leash. 1.2410 0.06083 83 68 10 5
5698 Mines for style, what about yours? 1.2410 0.05579 83 66 14 3
5699 That Handmaid’s look is so yesterday. 1.2410 0.05309 83 65 16 2
5700 Who wore it best in show? 1.2410 0.05309 83 65 16 2
5701 i still can't lick my stitches, – AND i lost second chair in the philharmonic! 1.2410 0.05309 83 65 16 2
5702 It's been 4 years Frank. Take off the blinders! 1.2410 0.05309 83 65 16 2
5703 No, I put the YES in Innovation. 1.2410 0.05309 83 65 16 2
5704 one of us is wrong and it’s not me 1.2410 0.05836 83 67 12 4
5705 If you think about it, it also works. Plus turtleneck is fashionable and we have a better view. 1.2410 0.05579 83 66 14 3
5706 Didn’t you hear? Skinny jeans, side parts and forward facing cones are out. 1.2410 0.05836 83 67 12 4
5707 The Allegory of the Cone. 1.2410 0.05579 83 66 14 3
5708 How many times do I have to tell you, Frank? It’s time to think outside of the cone! 1.2410 0.04565 83 65 17 1
5709 It’s all about your perspective, Jim. 1.2410 0.05309 83 65 16 2
5710 You’d be amazed at how much faster you can go when you wear it this way! 1.2410 0.05024 83 64 18 1
5711 Just wear it like this Bob. There’s no evidence it stops the spread of the virus but most people don’t even notice it’s not covering your nose. 1.2410 0.05579 83 66 14 3
5712 This modification doesn't restrict bum-sniffing . 1.2405 0.06033 79 64 11 4
5713 It's hard to know right from wrong these days. 1.2405 0.06033 79 64 11 4
5714 Now I get to bite, scratch, and satisfy my whole body 1.2405 0.05758 79 63 13 3
5715 I now feel so naked without it. 1.2405 0.05758 79 63 13 3
5716 I have rights! 1.2405 0.06297 79 65 9 5
5717 I can still lick the good parts. 1.2405 0.05469 79 64 12 3
5718 I still cannot reach anything 1.2405 0.06297 79 65 9 5
5719 I'm calling it the cape of shame 1.2405 0.05469 79 62 15 2
5720 I had no idea you were Jewish, Spot. 1.2405 0.05758 79 66 10 3
5721 You must be an outie. 1.2405 0.06033 79 64 11 4
5722 I don't know, Rocky, maybe the vet tech just has a bad sense of direction. 1.2405 0.05469 79 62 15 2
5723 My style puts the wow in bow-wow. 1.2405 0.06033 79 64 11 4
5724 I just think the turned-up collar has gone the way of the Labradoodle 1.2405 0.05758 79 63 13 3
5725 One gust of wind, and I changed from a pariah to a theologian. 1.2405 0.05758 79 63 13 3
5726 Your ear and my rear need help. 1.2405 0.06033 79 64 11 4
5727 Sure it looks good,but how do you scratch your ears? 1.2405 0.05469 79 62 15 2
5728 Yeah, it was embarrassing for my vet too, realizing it works just fine this way. 1.2405 0.05758 79 63 13 3
5729 Must be a righty lefty thing 1.2405 0.05758 79 63 13 3
5730 You're reactive. I'm proactive. 1.2405 0.06297 79 65 9 5
5731 Hey Barfy, I'll call you Concave if you call me Convex! 1.2405 0.06033 79 64 11 4
5732 I'm Calvinist. 1.2405 0.05758 79 63 13 3
5733 Yeah, I’ve been binging Bridgerton again. Why do you ask? 1.2405 0.05469 79 62 15 2
5734 'Subversive, right?' 1.2405 0.05758 79 63 13 3
5735 Didn’t he tell you? You have to turn the cone around to get satellite TV 1.2405 0.06033 79 64 11 4
5736 But really, it’s all peripheral. 1.2405 0.06033 79 64 11 4
5737 Its a little more formal, but I like it. 1.2405 0.05469 79 62 15 2
5738 It’s just easier to breath this way, ya’know? 1.2405 0.05469 79 62 15 2
5739 I’m telling you, just take a step back and change your perspective 1.2405 0.05469 79 62 15 2
5740 Doctors and scientists say that it’s only effective when worn correctly 1.2405 0.05758 79 63 13 3
5741 Umm it's called fashion -- look it up. 1.2404 0.05020 104 83 17 4
5742 I feel no shame! 1.2400 0.04740 100 78 20 2
5743 You’ve got it on backwards. 1.2400 0.06250 75 61 10 4
5744 I convinced my owner I have claustrophobia. 1.2400 0.05341 100 81 14 5
5745 I'm just wearing an old lampshade. I've always had hypochondriacal tendencies. 1.2400 0.05955 75 60 12 3
5746 The drawback is my bark doesn’t sound as big as my bite... 1.2400 0.05644 75 59 14 2
5747 Recent tests conducted at the dog park showed this design to be aerodynamically superior to the earlier model. 1.2400 0.05315 75 58 16 1
5748 I can't lick myself either. 1.2400 0.05315 75 58 16 1
5749 Outies hate Innies. But if you show me your rear end, I could reconsider. 1.2400 0.05955 75 60 12 3
5750 No wonder you look unhappy. Your lampshade is on backwards 1.2400 0.06250 75 61 10 4
5751 I'm sticking it to the Human. 1.2400 0.04965 75 57 18 0
5752 Darling, that cone is soooo last season. 1.2400 0.05955 75 60 12 3
5753 I’ve become amazingly aerodynamic. 1.2400 0.05644 75 59 14 2
5754 Why is it always me? 1.2400 0.06250 75 61 10 4
5755 (barking...) - Are you the new black? 1.2400 0.05644 75 59 14 2
5756 No, I'm fine, I'm just self-conscious about my neck 1.2400 0.05955 75 60 12 3
5757 Fucking Democrat 1.2400 0.06532 75 62 8 5
5758 Har har har, buddy! We both know who got the better doctor! 1.2400 0.05955 75 60 12 3
5759 your shirt’s on inside out 1.2400 0.05955 75 60 12 3
5760 I don't care, it's still the same outfit. 1.2400 0.06250 75 61 10 4
5761 You look dumb 1.2400 0.06250 75 61 10 4
5762 Babe, do we really need to find out who wore it right? 1.2400 0.05148 100 80 16 4
5763 Elon wanted to make me more aerodynamic 1.2400 0.05315 75 58 16 1
5764 It’s called fashion Michael, look it up.. 1.2400 0.05955 75 60 12 3
5765 Performance? Yeah! I get 3-4 more hp with this bad boy. 1.2396 0.05490 96 78 13 5
5766 I couldn't stand to look at those thighs a minute longer. 1.2396 0.04623 96 74 21 1
5767 Cool. You have an outie and I have an innie. 1.2396 0.05075 96 76 17 3
5768 2021 is all about canine aerodynamics 1.2396 0.04854 96 75 19 2
5769 ....and then I chewed it, down to the stub you see now. 1.2394 0.06172 71 57 11 3
5770 These are way more comfortable than those N95s. 1.2394 0.06172 71 57 11 3
5771 You have to be going at 88 when you enter the wormhole. 1.2394 0.06489 71 58 9 4
5772 I'll scratch your ear, if you will lick my bottom. 1.2394 0.06792 71 59 7 5
5773 It's a bit of a Shakespeare look, don't you think? 1.2394 0.06172 71 57 11 3
5774 Good news, I got mine put back on!!!! 1.2394 0.06172 71 57 11 3
5775 Going my way? 1.2394 0.05481 71 55 15 1
5776 At least this way I can still drive. 1.2394 0.06489 71 58 9 4
5777 It’s all in how you carry yourself. 1.2394 0.06172 71 57 11 3
5778 They said my echoey bark actually was worse than my bite. 1.2394 0.05101 71 54 17 0
5779 There are no facts, only perceptions. Nietzsche said that. 1.2394 0.05481 71 55 15 1
5780 How much does your vet cost ? 1.2394 0.05836 71 56 13 2
5781 -but I realize now, I actually love that you challenge me. 1.2394 0.06172 71 57 11 3
5782 Sheep. 1.2394 0.06172 71 57 11 3
5783 That westerly!💨 1.2394 0.05481 71 55 15 1
5784 You really can wear them again. 1.2391 0.05212 92 73 16 3
5785 I told you my human is an anti-coner. 1.2391 0.04977 92 72 18 2
5786 But mine is more aerodynamic 1.2391 0.05436 92 74 14 4
5787 Rehab isn’t so bad if you can still smell butts. 1.2391 0.05436 92 74 14 4
5788 You scratch my butt and I’ll scratch yours. 1.2391 0.05212 92 73 16 3
5789 It works so much better as a splash guard at the fire hydrant once I turned it around 1.2391 0.04977 92 72 18 2
5790 That's a little over the top, don't you think? 1.2391 0.04731 92 71 20 1
5791 It’s a style choice. 1.2391 0.05436 92 74 14 4
5792 It's easy, just run really fast. 1.2391 0.04977 92 72 18 2
5793 I just said ‘woof’ a couple times and she turned it right around! 1.2391 0.05859 92 76 10 6
5794 Get with it cowboy - you look like a dipshit and I look Aerodynamic! 1.2391 0.05436 92 74 14 4
5795 BARK? KRAB! 1.2391 0.04977 92 72 18 2
5796 Advice? Bespoke. 1.2391 0.05212 92 73 16 3
5797 It’s my light bulb moment 1.2391 0.05651 92 75 12 5
5798 And that’s how the theory of relativity works. 1.2391 0.05436 92 74 14 4
5799 I couldn’t help myself, I just really needed to kiss you. 1.2391 0.05212 92 73 16 3
5800 For some reason, they call it a turtleneck. 1.2388 0.06049 67 53 12 2
5801 It's because I'm a Dog of Flanders 1.2388 0.06412 67 54 10 3
5802 It's fine, but I still bark at any Mohels I see 1.2388 0.05459 67 54 11 2
5803 5 bucks and I'll show you how I did it...... 1.2388 0.06755 67 55 8 4
5804 Found it on Pets.com, it’s a cone of pride 1.2388 0.06755 67 55 8 4
5805 It's not on wrong. I'm paying homage to RBG. 1.2388 0.06049 67 53 12 2
5806 This is the way they ear them at the Vatican. 1.2388 0.05663 67 52 14 1
5807 I got mine from Apple. 1.2388 0.06049 67 53 12 2
5808 They put this thing on me when I barked with joy at the acquittal ." 1.2388 0.06412 67 54 10 3
5809 Wait till you see how my owner wears his mask! 1.2388 0.06049 67 53 12 2
5810 Concave or convex we can still have sex 1.2388 0.05663 67 52 14 1
5811 Smart ass! You wouldn't be saying that if the wind was blowing in your direction." 1.2388 0.06412 67 54 10 3
5812 What’s your doctor’s name? 1.2388 0.06412 67 54 10 3
5813 I'm not sick, I just wanted to be more aerodynamic 1.2388 0.06049 67 53 12 2
5814 Flip the system bro! Flip. the. system 1.2388 0.06412 67 54 10 3
5815 I figured wearing it this way spares me any Handmaid's Tale joke 1.2388 0.06412 67 54 10 3
5816 2021 is finally going my way 1.2388 0.06412 67 54 10 3
5817 My owners have been watching a lot of Shakespeare lately. 1.2386 0.05598 88 71 13 4
5818 This cone really accentuates my figure. 1.2386 0.05359 88 70 15 3
5819 Please, Barney. You're barking entirely too loudly at me. 1.2386 0.05359 88 70 15 3
5820 Call me crazy, but I just like the look. 1.2386 0.05826 88 72 11 5
5821 It's a little windy out. 1.2386 0.05598 88 71 13 4
5822 I have an inny 1.2386 0.05598 88 71 13 4
5823 I just turn it around when I go back into the house! 1.2386 0.05826 88 72 11 5
5824 This model has less drag and you hear better. 1.2386 0.05826 88 72 11 5
5825 My owner felt it was more aerodynamic looking. 1.2386 0.05598 88 71 13 4
5826 It's a new trick, wish I could teach it to you, but... 1.2386 0.05598 88 71 13 4
5827 It still works and I don’t get that ringing in my ears. 1.2386 0.05598 88 71 13 4
5828 They're all wearing it this way, this year 1.2386 0.05110 88 69 17 2
5829 I have a dyslexic vet... 1.2386 0.05110 88 69 17 2
5830 It was on the clearance rack. 1.2386 0.05598 88 71 13 4
5831 You've never seen an innie before? 1.2386 0.05359 88 70 15 3
5832 It's pretty windy out there. 1.2386 0.06046 88 73 9 6
5833 My vet believes in diversity... 1.2386 0.05826 88 72 11 5
5834 I call it my Elizabethan dress. 1.2386 0.05598 88 71 13 4
5835 Sometimes, I just don't know if I'm coming or going. 1.2386 0.05110 88 69 17 2
5836 Lesson One: A serious clown never wears a lampshade. 1.2386 0.05598 88 71 13 4
5837 I think wearing it this way makes me look quite fetching. 1.2386 0.05359 88 70 15 3
5838 There’s no right way to reach the lamp switch. 1.2386 0.05598 88 71 13 4
5839 „They didn’t bother vaccinating me, either.“ 1.2386 0.05598 88 71 13 4
5840 You’re lucky you weren’t out in that windstorm! 1.2386 0.05110 88 69 17 2
5841 I’m not sure what’s worse: I can get in but can’t get out, and you can get out but can’t get in. 1.2386 0.04847 88 68 19 1
5842 Look at me! I’m aerodynamic! 1.2386 0.05359 88 70 15 3
5843 Alanis isn’t the only who can be ironic, Todd. 1.2386 0.05598 88 71 13 4
5844 It’s not supposed to be aerodynamic, Frank. 1.2381 0.05253 84 66 16 2
5845 More aerodynamic. 1.2381 0.05253 84 66 16 2
5846 One must suffer to be beautiful. 1.2381 0.05253 84 66 16 2
5847 Oh, yeah... my vet told me to lick everywhere. 1.2381 0.05519 84 67 14 3
5848 European design sports model 1.2381 0.06017 84 69 10 5
5849 Gen-Z says this is cool now 1.2381 0.06017 84 69 10 5
5850 Oh, I turn it the way you have it whenever a stranger gets within 6 feet. 1.2381 0.04972 84 65 18 1
5851 It prevents me from living in the past. 1.2381 0.06017 84 69 10 5
5852 No she called it a koan and told me to think about it. 1.2381 0.05519 84 67 14 3
5853 It's my newest design. I call it... the Ruff. 1.2381 0.05253 84 66 16 2
5854 My owner opted for a more aerodynamic look 1.2381 0.04972 84 65 18 1
5855 That look is too preppy for me 1.2381 0.05253 84 66 16 2
5856 Apparently, I'm shameless. 1.2381 0.06680 63 51 9 3
5857 I call it aerodynamics. I’ve increased my speed by 34% and I am this close to catching cars. 1.2381 0.05773 84 68 12 4
5858 Yah, but I can still stick my head out the car window. 1.2381 0.06680 63 51 9 3
5859 I tried that one for a month, but I got a bit alienated from the world 1.2381 0.04972 84 65 18 1
5860 Is it you .... or is it me? 1.2381 0.06680 63 51 9 3
5861 Because I've just been ordained as a Universal Life minister. 1.2381 0.06285 63 50 11 2
5862 if we could learn to love each other, we'd make a good team! 1.2381 0.05773 84 68 12 4
5863 No matter how you wear it, I say it's a collar, and I say to hell with it. 1.2381 0.06285 63 50 11 2
5864 I like the retro look. 1.2381 0.05519 84 67 14 3
5865 You might not know it to look at me, but I can run really, really fast. 1.2381 0.05773 84 68 12 4
5866 I was caught in that huge winter storm. 1.2381 0.05519 84 67 14 3
5867 I turned my cone of shame into a fashion statement. Want me to lick your hot spot? 1.2381 0.06285 63 50 11 2
5868 Not my fault, Mom always liked me better. 1.2381 0.05253 84 66 16 2
5869 Hey! We look like a good fit, don'tcha think? 1.2381 0.05253 84 66 16 2
5870 Yes, that is an enormous favor to ask. 1.2381 0.05253 84 66 16 2
5871 I got tired having a bite not as good as my bark. 1.2381 0.05409 63 48 15 0
5872 Just another form of "White Collar Crime" 1.2381 0.05519 84 67 14 3
5873 I know man, it's embarrassing. I have the same problem with my cummerbund. 1.2381 0.05773 84 68 12 4
5874 Mine's to stop me biting off my nose to spite my face 1.2381 0.05409 63 48 15 0
5875 The air is fresher when you wear it like this 1.2381 0.05253 84 66 16 2
5876 « Don’t be so dogmatic Bob » 1.2381 0.05773 84 68 12 4
5877 Once you get your second dose, they'll flip yours around too. Now I barely feel like I have anything on. 1.2381 0.05253 84 66 16 2
5878 It’s only a cone of shame if you have that mindset 1.2381 0.05519 84 67 14 3
5879 Hey boomer, you're doing it wrong. 1.2381 0.05253 84 66 16 2
5880 I have a medical exemption, so I wear it like this to piss other dogs of 1.2381 0.05519 84 67 14 3
5881 Woof! - Foow! 1.2376 0.05293 101 82 14 5
5882 Apparently, I’m ‘master of my domain.’” 1.2376 0.04905 101 80 18 3
5883 You’re my best buddy, glad to lick your owie. 1.2375 0.05694 80 64 13 3
5884 Turned Amish? 1.2375 0.05409 80 63 15 2
5885 Ha Ha , I can still lick me butt. 1.2375 0.05409 80 63 15 2
5886 As long as they put it on the front end, it doesn't really matter. It's when they put it on the back end that you're in trouble. 1.2375 0.05409 80 63 15 2
5887 Expand your horizons, Steve. 1.2375 0.05965 80 65 11 4
5888 I told you to eat the directions 1.2375 0.06225 80 66 9 5
5889 You Cannot imagine how stupid people can be. 1.2375 0.05694 80 64 13 3
5890 Yours keeps you out. Mine keeps me in. 1.2375 0.05694 80 64 13 3
5891 Look man, it doesn't matter whether you're giving it or receiving it, you're still wearing the cone. 1.2375 0.05694 80 64 13 3
5892 I've never been much of a follower 1.2375 0.05409 80 63 15 2
5893 I still can't lick my backside, but it's a much better look. 1.2375 0.05694 80 64 13 3
5894 The cone doesn't even protect you! 1.2375 0.05965 80 65 11 4
5895 So I can't reach my boo-boo but at least I can still scratch that itch. 1.2375 0.05409 80 63 15 2
5896 I couldn't lick my balls the other way. 1.2375 0.05965 80 65 11 4
5897 You've got everything backward as usual. 1.2375 0.05409 80 63 15 2
5898 Out of sight, out of mind. It's really nice. 1.2375 0.05108 80 62 17 1
5899 Okay, so you can't scratch your ears. I can only walk backwards. 1.2375 0.06225 80 66 9 5
5900 I think it's supposed to cover your mouth and your nose? 1.2375 0.05694 80 64 13 3
5901 You say tom-aye-to and I say tom-ah-to. 1.2375 0.05694 80 64 13 3
5902 Yes, very fashionable - but let's see how many gophers you can tunnel after. 1.2375 0.05965 80 65 11 4
5903 WoW...you are so 1980's! 1.2375 0.05409 80 63 15 2
5904 Where the lightbulb went I'll leave to your imagination. 1.2375 0.05409 80 63 15 2
5905 Not at all. It’s just another of the ways I’ve grown to appreciate my owner’s dyslexia. 1.2375 0.05108 80 62 17 1
5906 He put it on like he does everything else—ass backwards. 1.2375 0.06225 80 66 9 5
5907 I needed to do this for me. 1.2375 0.05965 80 65 11 4
5908 Again,Alfie had to explain that the mask goes over your nose. 1.2375 0.05409 80 63 15 2
5909 That old-school style really puts a crimp in your social life - if you know what I mean. 1.2375 0.05409 80 63 15 2
5910 Innies! Outies! We're all just dogs aren't we? 1.2375 0.05694 80 64 13 3
5911 Where did you get yours? 1.2375 0.05694 80 64 13 3
5912 I may look like an old-world nun but you look like a bucket. But hey I will love you no matter what. 1.2375 0.05409 80 63 15 2
5913 That Elizabethan neck ruff of yours is so--what?--1533. 1.2375 0.05965 80 65 11 4
5914 You can’t just wear that cone unless you’ve had the surgery! That’s appropriation. 1.2375 0.05965 80 65 11 4
5915 Bitchin' look, huh? 1.2375 0.05409 80 63 15 2
5916 At least you're properly insured. 1.2375 0.05694 80 64 13 3
5917 It better suits my contrarian nature. 1.2375 0.05694 80 64 13 3
5918 I'm told this is how the kids wear them nowadays 1.2375 0.05694 80 64 13 3
5919 I was getting too much of a Handmaid's vibe. 1.2371 0.05029 97 77 17 3
5920 Your lampshade is upside down. 1.2371 0.05238 97 78 15 4
5921 The reception's not as good this way, but it's a lot easier to find the satellites. 1.2371 0.05029 97 77 17 3
5922 It's easier to kiss 1.2368 0.06175 76 62 10 4
5923 I'm more into aerodynamics not acoustics." 1.2368 0.05884 76 61 12 3
5924 If yours is so practical, what do you think happens when you stick your head out the car window? 1.2368 0.05884 76 61 12 3
5925 Yeah, it feels better to pull it back when I get excited 1.2368 0.05578 76 60 14 2
5926 Otherwise I can’t breathe. 1.2368 0.05254 76 59 16 1
5927 Whatever you do, don't walk into the wind. 1.2368 0.05884 76 61 12 3
5928 I shave five seconds off my morning lap this way. 1.2368 0.05254 76 59 16 1
5929 I am not a cat. 1.2368 0.05884 76 61 12 3
5930 It’s not if you wear the cone, it’s how you wear it. 1.2368 0.05884 76 61 12 3
5931 Republicans and Democrats 1.2368 0.06453 76 63 8 5
5932 I'll scratch your head if you itch my butt? 1.2368 0.06453 76 63 8 5
5933 My owner was kicked out of a restaurant for wearing his mask the same way. 1.2368 0.05578 76 60 14 2
5934 You're so ironic! 1.2368 0.06175 76 62 10 4
5935 Are you coming or am I going? 1.2368 0.05254 76 59 16 1
5936 Well, Will, you were the one who said "to thine cone self be true." 1.2368 0.05578 76 60 14 2
5937 After the catnip, the lights all seemed to go out. 1.2368 0.06175 76 62 10 4
5938 Easy! Just wiggle through the pet door. 1.2368 0.05884 76 61 12 3
5939 Don’t worry. You should be able to wear your mask like this by Halloween. 1.2368 0.05254 76 59 16 1
5940 No, Mom, it’s not backwards. It’s edgy. 1.2368 0.05254 76 59 16 1
5941 My story? I just ate that lamp - cord and all - then I got this thing stuck around my neck and my master went crazy. I don't know what that was all about. 1.2368 0.06175 76 62 10 4
5942 You get what you pay for with Tim Ferrian the contrarian veternarian. 1.2368 0.05884 76 61 12 3
5943 Why yes, my owner does wear his mask under his nose. How'd you guess? 1.2368 0.06175 76 62 10 4
5944 I told them I'm an Essential Worker 1.2368 0.05578 76 60 14 2
5945 Oh yeah, it’s much more comfortable this way. 1.2368 0.05578 76 60 14 2
5946 It’s a Space Force thing. 1.2368 0.06175 76 62 10 4
5947 My reception is not as good, but I capture much more. 1.2366 0.05162 93 74 16 3
5948 Which would you rather have: peripheral vision or chafed underarms? 1.2366 0.05162 93 74 16 3
5949 I'm a Purinatan. 1.2366 0.05801 93 77 10 6
5950 It latest aerodynamic model. 1.2366 0.05162 93 74 16 3
5951 Not only does it work but its aerodynamic. 1.2366 0.04687 93 72 20 1
5952 Turn your collar around - we’re trying out for the Canine adaptation of The Two Popes 1.2361 0.05764 72 57 13 2
5953 Clearly my human loves me better. 1.2361 0.05764 72 57 13 2
5954 What collar? 1.2361 0.05764 72 57 13 2
5955 I ate a chihuahua. 1.2361 0.06407 72 59 9 4
5956 Use your head, guy... There are options 1.2361 0.05414 72 56 15 1
5957 Would you say you’re in innie or an outie? 1.2361 0.06407 72 59 9 4
5958 - Ruff Ruff - I think you’ll find it’s a Peter Pan 1.2361 0.06094 72 58 11 3
5959 This way I'm more aerodynamic. 1.2361 0.06407 72 59 9 4
5960 Once she agreed, I gave her back the remote. 1.2361 0.05764 72 57 13 2
5961 It's the hot new trend in Milan 1.2361 0.06407 72 59 9 4
5962 I studied reverse psychology, and it worked 1.2361 0.06407 72 59 9 4
5963 More aerodynamic this way. Less wind resistance. 1.2361 0.05414 72 56 15 1
5964 SO THEY CAUGHT YOU DRINKING FROM THE TOILET 1.2361 0.06094 72 58 11 3
5965 Oh! You’re an “in-ny”, I’m an “outy” 1.2361 0.05040 72 57 14 1
5966 You must give me the name of your designer! 1.2361 0.05414 72 56 15 1
5967 I've gotten so many compliments - and it was such a painless procedure. 1.2361 0.05414 72 56 15 1
5968 Oh, you must not have heard this is how we are wearing them this fall 1.2361 0.05414 72 56 15 1
5969 Brothers from a different mother? 1.2361 0.05040 72 55 17 0
5970 Fake news won’t stick 1.2361 0.05764 72 57 13 2
5971 This is the 2021 aerodynamic model. 1.2361 0.06094 72 58 11 3
5972 The Cone of silence Max 1.2361 0.06407 72 59 9 4
5973 You can kiss me now 1.2361 0.05414 72 56 15 1
5974 Ok, now I know which way the wind blows for you. 1.2361 0.05040 72 55 17 0
5975 It’s about to become a fashion statement where you live, too. 1.2361 0.06407 72 59 9 4
5976 My owner is a master in the art of reverse psycollergy. 1.2360 0.05767 89 73 11 5
5977 My bark is worse than my bite. 1.2360 0.05305 89 71 15 3
5978 It's more slimming this way. 1.2360 0.05984 89 74 9 6
5979 I haven't actually been to the vet. My owners went out so I trashed the place and now I'm stuck in this lamp. 1.2360 0.05767 89 73 11 5
5980 Yeah. My owner’s a Puritan! 1.2360 0.05305 89 71 15 3
5981 I ran into the wind and mine completely blew away! 1.2360 0.05767 89 73 11 5
5982 ...And the breakthrough came when pet therapist said “Maybe the wound licks you, Rex? Maybe the wound licks you?’ 1.2360 0.05059 89 70 17 2
5983 Pretty gusty out there. 1.2360 0.05541 89 72 13 4
5984 That looks ruff. 1.2360 0.05305 89 71 15 3
5985 It was all that forward thinking that holds you back. 1.2360 0.05541 89 72 13 4
5986 I convinced them it is more aerodynamic, but really it just looks less foolish. 1.2360 0.05767 89 73 11 5
5987 I'm more of an outie than an innie. 1.2360 0.05305 89 71 15 3
5988 Trust me - you really don’t want to know how this thing ended up inside-out 1.2360 0.05059 89 70 17 2
5989 You say backwards, I say fashion forward. 1.2360 0.05984 89 74 9 6
5990 My parents told me to be the change I wish to see in the world. 1.2360 0.04800 89 74 11 4
5991 Neutered? That's a bummer, Hal. I'm doing Othello - community theatre. I'm playing Idoggo. 1.2360 0.05767 89 73 11 5
5992 no, i said cone of fame, not shame 1.2360 0.05305 89 71 15 3
5993 I find that it’s more aerodynamic this way 1.2360 0.05059 89 70 17 2
5994 My doctor said I could wear it this way because of my pre-existing condition. 1.2360 0.04800 89 69 19 1
5995 Looks like we have reason to 'help each other out.' 1.2360 0.05541 89 72 13 4
5996 Humans have it too, they call it mask! 1.2360 0.05541 89 72 13 4
5997 You just have to run really fast. 1.2353 0.05590 68 53 14 1
5998 You look like a real Woofer. 1.2353 0.06327 68 55 10 3
5999 I've pivoted! 1.2353 0.05712 85 69 12 4
6000 But my vet gave me permission to wear it like this, because of my asthma. 1.2353 0.05198 85 67 16 2
6001 Why? My masters are Dutch. 1.2353 0.05952 85 70 10 5
6002 You're fixed? I'm getting TV from Brazil! 1.2353 0.05590 68 53 14 1
6003 Why? Well, you can see what it did to my ears. 1.2353 0.05461 85 68 14 3
6004 No, man, keep it even after the two weeks. The plastic blocks the 5G waves that cause COVID. 1.2353 0.05952 85 70 10 5
6005 Do you get HBO with it on that way? 1.2353 0.05461 85 68 14 3
6006 Now I know why when you bark, it echoes, and when I fart, it echoes. 1.2353 0.05970 68 54 12 2
6007 It was easy. All I did was switch it with the lamp while they were sleeping. 1.2353 0.05712 85 69 12 4
6008 Surprisingly I don't mind it, it's given me a lot to look forward to. 1.2353 0.05461 85 68 14 3
6009 are you cone-dependent? 1.2353 0.05970 68 54 12 2
6010 The incessant barking was driving me crazy. 1.2353 0.05712 85 69 12 4
6011 No way I'm saying anything about it. And you be quiet. 1.2353 0.05712 85 69 12 4
6012 Does your owner wear his ball cap backwards, or not? 1.2353 0.06664 68 56 8 4
6013 Live a little! 1.2353 0.05461 85 68 14 3
6014 Who got it wrong? 1.2353 0.06327 68 55 10 3
6015 Easy babe, you get a running start and then dash between the donut shop and their dumpster ... 1.2353 0.06327 68 55 10 3
6016 Pilgrim collars aren't just for Thanksgiving anymore. 1.2353 0.05461 85 68 14 3
6017 I got the cops called on me for refusing to wear a cone. 1.2353 0.06327 68 55 10 3
6018 Turn around and I’ll gnaw that itch until it bleeds. 1.2353 0.05461 85 68 14 3
6019 Where does your plug go? 1.2353 0.05970 68 54 12 2
6020 Ha! I didn't go to the vet. I'm just coming home from a party at that black poodle's place! 1.2353 0.05198 85 67 16 2
6021 You say tomato and I say tomahto. 1.2353 0.05590 68 53 14 1
6022 I was rescued by a convent. 1.2353 0.06664 68 56 8 4
6023 I think I got this licked 1.2353 0.05952 85 72 7 6
6024 If we put our heads together, we’d be a nice fit. 1.2353 0.04966 68 54 13 1
6025 After I got used to it, I realized what a wonderful fashion statement it would make. 1.2353 0.05712 85 69 12 4
6026 They don’t call me a party animal for nothing ! 1.2353 0.05712 85 69 12 4
6027 I go to a new age vet. 1.2353 0.05970 68 54 12 2
6028 They call it a Sunroof! 1.2353 0.05952 85 70 10 5
6029 I see you're an "inny". 1.2353 0.06327 68 55 10 3
6030 I'll "bow," you "wow." 1.2353 0.05428 102 84 12 6
6031 It's all about catching the wind right 1.2353 0.05970 68 54 12 2
6032 They said it has a 30% efficacy rate. 1.2353 0.05198 85 67 16 2
6033 Insult to injury, sure, but I can see better 1.2353 0.05198 85 67 16 2
6034 The humans have something just like this. They call it "Crocs". 1.2353 0.05712 85 69 12 4
6035 It’s called fashion, darling 1.2353 0.05198 85 67 16 2
6036 They call it “Cone of self-esteem” 1.2353 0.05198 85 67 16 2
6037 You should see how my master fixed the plumbing. 1.2347 0.05389 98 80 13 5
6038 They actually put my balls back on. 1.2347 0.05580 98 81 11 6
6039 If you can't solve the cone problem, I have no use for you in my mission to domesticate the humans. 1.2347 0.05190 98 79 15 4
6040 It's not as great as it looks. I can stick my head out the car window but I can't lick my own butt. 1.2347 0.05389 98 80 13 5
6041 I feel as if I finally met the Yin to my Yang 1.2347 0.05389 98 80 13 5
6042 In...side...out......boy you turn me.... 1.2346 0.05898 81 66 11 4
6043 I kept seeing these things on my walks around town and I thought - I've got just the right lampshade. 1.2346 0.05630 81 65 13 3
6044 My drool is bigger than my bark." 1.2346 0.06154 81 67 9 5
6045 It's called 'the Collar of Shame'. Once you graduate from obedience school, they'll take it off. I'm almost there! 1.2346 0.05630 81 65 13 3
6046 'My owner is a Pilgrim. " 1.2346 0.05349 81 64 15 2
6047 This is how the cool pups are wearing it these days. 1.2346 0.05898 81 66 11 4
6048 It's how I advertise my stud service. And, uh, sorry for your loss. 1.2346 0.05898 81 66 11 4
6049 You're never gonna get the land speed record with that setup. 1.2346 0.05349 81 64 15 2
6050 It shaves about 0.7 seconds off my time from the couch to the front door after dad get's home. 1.2346 0.05349 81 64 15 2
6051 I think this is what the kids mean when they say, "Being, Woke!" 1.2346 0.05630 81 65 13 3
6052 Hell of a drunken party, but your lampshade is on wrong! 1.2346 0.06154 81 67 9 5
6053 the cone of shame meets the cone of purity. 1.2346 0.05898 81 66 11 4
6054 HA, HA! FUNNEL VISION!! 1.2346 0.05053 81 63 17 1
6055 I graduated. 1.2346 0.04034 81 65 15 1
6056 I see you got up on the wrong side of your master this morning 1.2346 0.04898 81 65 14 2
6057 Spatial deficit 1.2346 0.05630 81 65 13 3
6058 You turn around first. 1.2346 0.05349 81 64 15 2
6059 At least yours keeps the sun out of your eyes! 1.2346 0.05898 81 66 11 4
6060 It’s a whole new way of looking at the world. 1.2346 0.05630 81 65 13 3
6061 The Handmaid's Tale look is out. I'm going for something more Elizabethan. 1.2346 0.06154 81 67 9 5
6062 I see you still have the eCollar classic. 1.2346 0.05349 81 64 15 2
6063 It works either way you know. 1.2346 0.05349 81 64 15 2
6064 Brush back bitch 1.2346 0.05898 81 66 11 4
6065 It's all a hoax. Your humans have been lying to you. 1.2346 0.05349 81 64 15 2
6066 You’ll find your own way. We all do. 1.2346 0.05630 81 65 13 3
6067 You say goodbye, but I say hello 1.2346 0.05630 81 65 13 3
6068 Your Choir Cone is very impressive, but does your cone get the cable premium channels mine does? 1.2346 0.05630 81 65 13 3
6069 This is more of a Puritan collar. 1.2346 0.05053 81 63 17 1
6070 Pandemic, schmamdemic...I’m not going to live under socialist tyranny! 1.2346 0.05898 81 66 11 4
6071 The wind really picks up around the corner 1.2346 0.05630 81 65 13 3
6072 It’s a Cape Codlar I picked up in Truro. 1.2346 0.05630 81 65 13 3
6073 I almost got the cat. 1.2346 0.06154 81 67 9 5
6074 I know it’s supposed to cover my nose, but do you think they listen to me? 1.2346 0.05630 81 65 13 3
6075 "The vet says I'm in remission'" 1.2346 0.05349 81 64 15 2
6076 They haven’t proven that wearing one of these does any good. I’ll wear mine any way I want. 1.2346 0.05630 81 65 13 3
6077 So, that's how you're supposed to wear it? 1.2346 0.05053 81 63 17 1
6078 Trust me! The light will work for you if you invert the Elizabethan collar during the zoom meeting. The days of the cone of shame are over! 1.2346 0.05630 81 65 13 3
6079 That's right - I've joined the priesthood. 1.2346 0.05898 81 66 11 4
6080 We both have bad habits 1.2346 0.05053 81 63 17 1
6081 ‘I’m telling you, just try sneezing’ 1.2346 0.05349 81 64 15 2
6082 They’re not gonna let you in the restaurant like that, Michael. 1.2346 0.05898 81 66 11 4
6083 Did you eat the instruction manual again? 1.2346 0.05349 81 64 15 2
6084 It’s more aerodynamic and people are laughing WITH me. 1.2346 0.05898 81 66 11 4
6085 I’m an outie, but I know most are innies. 1.2346 0.05630 81 65 13 3
6086 It looks like a multi-level marketing scheme, but I promise, it’s not. 1.2346 0.05053 81 63 17 1
6087 I'm an ally. 1.2346 0.06154 81 67 9 5
6088 And, the innie versus outie debate continues... 1.2344 0.06197 64 51 11 2
6089 This proves that I am predestined to be the biter and that you are predestined to be the bitten. 1.2344 0.06585 64 52 9 3
6090 Look, I got my life back! I’m no longer called Oflassie anymore! 1.2344 0.06197 64 51 11 2
6091 Seriously? The way you are wearing it is so yesterday! 1.2344 0.06952 64 53 7 4
6092 Now I don't have to smell my own bad doggie breath 1.2344 0.06585 64 52 9 3
6093 I have been vaccinated. 1.2344 0.06197 64 51 11 2
6094 You say bucket? I say tyranny! 1.2344 0.06952 64 53 7 4
6095 But we would fit together so well. 1.2344 0.06585 64 52 9 3
6096 It started out as a gesture of sympathy, but I've actually come to like how the younger pups are wearing theirs... 1.2344 0.06197 64 51 11 2
6097 How about we skip the tortured wordplay and go sniff some butts?" 1.2340 0.05745 94 78 10 6
6098 I just got my second vaccine shot. 1.2340 0.05113 94 75 16 3
6099 Nuns pre Vatican 2 1.2340 0.04884 94 74 18 2
6100 What’s six feet apart in dog inches? 1.2340 0.05332 94 76 14 4
6101 You read the attire message incorrectly. 1.2340 0.05332 94 76 14 4
6102 Mine works better 1.2340 0.05113 94 75 16 3
6103 Get back to me after you try riding with your head out the window. 1.2338 0.05816 77 62 12 3
6104 Mine’s an old lamp shade. I thought it might catch on.” 1.2338 0.06102 77 63 10 4
6105 Yeah, my master is not too bright! 1.2338 0.05514 77 61 14 2
6106 Tudor style is very “in” this season. 1.2338 0.05195 77 60 16 1
6107 You scratch my back. I’ll scratch your back. 1.2338 0.06102 77 63 10 4
6108 this is not a mirror 1.2338 0.05514 77 61 14 2
6109 I was tired of the cacophony! 1.2338 0.06102 77 63 10 4
6110 You think going to the vet is bad,I’ve been used to recycle an old lampshade. 1.2338 0.06102 77 63 10 4
6111 I see you’re an “outie”....I’m an “innie”. 1.2338 0.05816 77 62 12 3
6112 Are you sure? 1.2338 0.06376 77 64 8 5
6113 It's been approved by Dr. Fauci, promise. 1.2338 0.05514 77 61 14 2
6114 You've got the "cone of shame," but mine is just a pyramid of disfavor. 1.2338 0.06102 77 63 10 4
6115 I had to turn off the noise amplifier, it was driving me crazy. 1.2338 0.05514 77 61 14 2
6116 Mine is fashion forward. 1.2338 0.05816 77 62 12 3
6117 Edwardian High-Collar, a complete faux paw! 1.2338 0.05195 77 60 16 1
6118 C'mon baby, turn me on! 1.2338 0.06102 77 63 10 4
6119 You’d think so, but I can’t lick my ass either. 1.2338 0.06102 77 63 10 4
6120 You look Amish, while I’m a fashionista” 1.2338 0.06376 77 64 8 5
6121 I have a low coefficient. Yours is just a drag. 1.2338 0.05816 77 62 12 3
6122 I’m an Airedale. 1.2338 0.05816 77 62 12 3
6123 Sure it looks stupid, but at least for me the answer to that joke is still "Because they can" 1.2338 0.05195 77 60 16 1
6124 Would you lick my ass for me? 1.2338 0.06376 77 64 8 5
6125 This Halloween I wanted to mix it up & go as a birdie. 1.2338 0.05514 77 61 14 2
6126 It's still the same problem, only this way I can pretend it's not here. 1.2338 0.05816 77 62 12 3
6127 Those are good sad eyes, but you can do better. Trust me, it works. 1.2338 0.05195 77 60 16 1
6128 Sorry Charlie,I had no clue that my owner is an anti-masker. At least you got your rabies vaccine. 1.2338 0.05514 77 61 14 2
6129 Q warned me about ‘Big Cone’. 1.2338 0.05816 77 62 12 3
6130 Shame. We all have our ways of dealing with it. 1.2338 0.05816 77 62 12 3
6131 Headwinds and tailwinds 1.2338 0.05816 77 62 12 3
6132 You should see my owner 1.2338 0.05816 77 62 12 3
6133 Dude, pretend you’re cool. But there is a weird person on your right starring at you. 1.2338 0.05816 77 62 12 3
6134 It’s avant-guard dog fashion 1.2338 0.05816 77 62 12 3
6135 Badminton tournament? 1.2338 0.06102 77 63 10 4
6136 White collar work shouldn't mean loss of flexibility. 1.2336 0.04710 107 85 19 3
6137 Who wore it better? 1.2333 0.05708 90 74 11 5
6138 I guess you went to the wrong party. 1.2333 0.05009 90 71 17 2
6139 I'm a party animal, you? 1.2333 0.05253 90 72 15 3
6140 It’s hard to know what to believe in these days. 1.2333 0.06875 60 49 8 3
6141 I'm an Australian Shepherd 1.2333 0.05253 90 72 15 3
6142 Long story short, I had to get 9 stitches but I also got to be a pilgrim in the Thanksgiving pageant. 1.2333 0.05253 90 72 15 3
6143 Yeah, I’m pretty sure everybody heard you the first time. 1.2333 0.05485 90 73 13 4
6144 That collar is SOOO 2020,Phil. 1.2333 0.05708 90 74 11 5
6145 This is more aerodynamic 1.2333 0.06451 60 48 10 2
6146 The pharma industry will not control me 1.2333 0.05009 90 71 17 2
6147 It’s a ruff. Fashion following function. 1.2333 0.05253 90 72 15 3
6148 don’t tell me you voted for Trump. 1.2333 0.05485 90 73 13 4
6149 Namaste... This is downward dog. 1.2333 0.05485 90 73 13 4
6150 When I saw "elam god" on my chart I should have known he was dyslexic. 1.2330 0.05014 103 83 16 4
6151 I don't know about you Larry, but I just couldn't tolerate the preppy look. 1.2330 0.05200 103 84 14 5
6152 Ah, the female of the species.... 1.2329 0.05694 73 58 13 2
6153 It blocks me smelling my own bad gas. 1.2329 0.06327 73 60 9 4
6154 Two roads diverged in a wood..." 1.2329 0.05349 73 57 15 1
6155 These days, it's hard to know whether you're coming or going. 1.2329 0.06019 73 59 11 3
6156 It's an insurance scam. 1.2329 0.06019 73 59 11 3
6157 My boss is a nun. 1.2329 0.06019 73 59 11 3
6158 Shall we circle back around? 1.2329 0.05694 73 58 13 2
6159 I'm interested in the intersection of fashion and function. 1.2329 0.05349 73 57 15 1
6160 It may look better now, but having them put it on from the other end was excruciating." 1.2329 0.06019 73 59 11 3
6161 The cool kids wear it this way. 1.2329 0.05349 73 57 15 1
6162 How many times have I told you...you have to be your own advocate. 1.2329 0.06019 73 59 11 3
6163 For my elective, I took a negotiating class. 1.2329 0.06019 73 59 11 3
6164 I miss the '80's. 1.2329 0.06019 73 59 11 3
6165 No, really, the “Fonz” look is in again! You look quite fetching. 1.2329 0.06327 73 60 9 4
6166 No cone of shame for me - I'm aero-dog! 1.2329 0.04981 73 56 17 0
6167 The therapy really helped me get my head on straight. 1.2329 0.06327 73 60 9 4
6168 Yeah, it was an incredible gust of wind! 1.2329 0.06019 73 59 11 3
6169 I’d rather be known as a dog of the cloth than a conehead 1.2329 0.05349 73 57 15 1
6170 Nice to meet you Cone of Shame,I am Collar of Humiliation. 1.2329 0.06327 73 60 9 4
6171 So that's what it's like to quit Facebook. 1.2329 0.06621 73 61 7 5
6172 You are not a handmaids and no you can’t check my tail. 1.2329 0.05694 73 58 13 2
6173 At least I can still smell my own but. 1.2326 0.05404 86 69 14 3
6174 Being a guide dog has its occasional perks. 1.2326 0.05404 86 69 14 3
6175 I googled these things. They untie and come right off. 1.2326 0.04872 86 67 18 1
6176 Just got my second vaccone. When’s yours? 1.2326 0.05404 86 69 14 3
6177 I can see much better this way. Do you think my people will notice? 1.2326 0.05652 86 70 12 4
6178 Mark my words - by next week, everyone will be wearing it like this. 1.2326 0.05145 86 68 16 2
6179 When you reverse it, you become a god. 1.2326 0.05145 86 68 16 2
6180 Streamlining! I go faster. 1.2326 0.05145 86 68 16 2
6181 What do you mean I have it backwards? How do you know which way I'm going? 1.2326 0.05404 86 69 14 3
6182 Thankfully, my owners thought it was a bib. 1.2326 0.05145 86 68 16 2
6183 Sure I can't use my front legs, but I look great on Zoom. 1.2326 0.05652 86 70 12 4
6184 I like feeling the breeze on my face. 1.2326 0.05652 86 70 12 4
6185 "I'll find my own way, thanks. Remember what happened the last time we put our heads together?" 1.2326 0.05145 86 68 16 2
6186 Past to Future:'Where's Present?' 1.2326 0.05652 86 70 12 4
6187 Well of course I wear it better 1.2326 0.05404 86 69 14 3
6188 I'm glad I have an outie. 1.2326 0.05145 86 68 16 2
6189 I like yours. 1.2326 0.05404 86 69 14 3
6190 Mine was designed by a committee 1.2326 0.05889 86 71 10 5
6191 Dogspreading. 1.2326 0.05145 86 68 16 2
6192 I did read the C.D.C. instructions on how to wear it correctly. 1.2326 0.05652 86 70 12 4
6193 I’ll lick your balls if you lick mine. 1.2326 0.05889 86 71 10 5
6194 Dude, Happy Opposite Day!....You didn't know? 1.2326 0.05652 86 70 12 4
6195 Your cone is sooo last season 1.2326 0.05652 86 70 12 4
6196 My owner can't stand to be reminded of the Handmaid's Tale. 1.2326 0.05404 86 69 14 3
6197 My people call me Monsignor. 1.2326 0.05404 86 69 14 3
6198 He decided that the windblown look is better 1.2326 0.05145 86 68 16 2
6199 It was easy--I just ran really, really fast. 1.2326 0.04582 86 68 17 1
6200 You need to stop looking at the glass as half empty! 1.2326 0.05889 86 71 10 5
6201 So, I guess you’re from a Fox News family? 1.2326 0.05652 86 70 12 4
6202 Walk me through this again, humans can just download an app to their phone and immediately become a dog sitter? 1.2326 0.05652 86 70 12 4
6203 Okay, fine! Just stop shouting at me. 1.2326 0.05145 86 68 16 2
6204 This is the tip of the iceberg. You should come over some time and see the lampshades. 1.2326 0.05404 86 69 14 3
6205 So you're Bizzaro me? 1.2326 0.05404 86 69 14 3
6206 They lost the manual 1.2323 0.04725 99 78 19 2
6207 I have the aerodynamic model. 1.2323 0.05339 99 81 13 5
6208 My people will talk to your people. 1.2323 0.04938 99 79 17 3
6209 I like a consistent architectural line. 1.2323 0.04938 99 79 17 3
6210 Wait, what’s yours supposed to prevent you from licking, again? 1.2323 0.04938 99 79 17 3
6211 Yes, it’s more comfortable this way, but I no longer get an AM signal. 1.2323 0.04938 99 79 17 3
6212 Buster, if I'm a pain in the neck - you must be a pain in the ass! 1.2321 0.04390 112 88 22 2
6213 Mine's purely for speed. 1.2319 0.06243 69 56 10 3
6214 That’s so last season. 1.2319 0.06892 69 58 6 5
6215 Like you, I look ridiculous and can't nibble on my stitches either, but at least my cone thing is aerodynamic. 1.2319 0.05892 69 55 12 2
6216 I asked for an innie, but they gave me an outie. 1.2319 0.05519 69 54 14 1
6217 Handmaid's Tail? 1.2319 0.05892 69 55 12 2
6218 Bummer collar Bingo. Is your human dyslexic? 1.2319 0.06243 69 56 10 3
6219 It used to be at the other end. 1.2319 0.06243 69 56 10 3
6220 Sometimes my genius frightens me. 1.2319 0.06243 69 56 10 3
6221 Collar up is so seven years ago. 1.2319 0.05519 69 54 14 1
6222 No, No Misty, it's the Elizabethan era that we are going back to. 1.2319 0.05118 69 53 16 0
6223 Gosh Sam,your cone is so last year. 1.2319 0.05892 69 55 12 2
6224 You didn’t negotiate? 1.2319 0.05892 69 55 12 2
6225 It's OK. I already had ED. 1.2319 0.06243 69 56 10 3
6226 You gotta think outside the cone, man. 1.2319 0.06243 69 56 10 3
6227 Say what you want, but I've never been more aerodynamic. 1.2319 0.05519 69 54 14 1
6228 No, I did not read The Crucible. 1.2319 0.06243 69 56 10 3
6229 You got dressed up in a hurry again, didn't you? 1.2319 0.05519 69 54 14 1
6230 I can see why you’d assume that, but this is purely about aerodynamics 1.2319 0.05892 69 55 12 2
6231 My megaphone is better 1.2317 0.04999 82 64 17 1
6232 No, not me, I was just chasing a moth up the light post. 1.2317 0.06086 82 68 9 5
6233 It's for positive reinforcement 1.2317 0.05291 82 65 15 2
6234 It's not enough the wear the cone, you have to become the cone. 1.2317 0.06086 82 68 9 5
6235 I don't know, I was chasing my tail, and the next thing I knew... 1.2317 0.05833 82 67 11 4
6236 pet door meets chow time 1.2317 0.05569 82 66 13 3
6237 You say "Powtaytoe," I say "Powtawtoe." 1.2317 0.04999 82 64 17 1
6238 And with a simple collar reversal, an Airedale Terrier becomes an Aerodynamic Terrier. 1.2317 0.05833 82 67 11 4
6239 The aerodynamic improvement is surprisingly noticeable. 1.2317 0.06328 82 69 7 6
6240 “I flipped the cone of shame, I’ve been vaccinated!” 1.2317 0.04688 82 63 19 0
6241 From shame to fame! 1.2317 0.05569 82 66 13 3
6242 ...and she takes your temperature orally! 1.2317 0.05569 82 66 13 3
6243 I nearly had him....then he disappeared down a burrow! 1.2317 0.05291 82 65 15 2
6244 Yours protects from rash. Mine from self-inflicted gas. 1.2317 0.05569 82 66 13 3
6245 Come in Tokyo...nope....nothing!! 1.2317 0.05291 82 65 15 2
6246 They made me put it in reverse, because I kept driving it into the back of their legs. 1.2317 0.05147 82 67 12 3
6247 You too can turn yourself around if you join the order. 1.2317 0.05291 82 65 15 2
6248 The lamp-shade always shines brighter on the other side! 1.2317 0.04999 82 64 17 1
6249 Sure, it scores high on visibility, but the real plus is less drag. 1.2317 0.04999 82 64 17 1
6250 You go as a novice and I'll go as Mother Superior. 1.2317 0.05569 82 66 13 3
6251 My master doesn't social distance either. 1.2317 0.05291 82 65 15 2
6252 There is no cone, Neo 1.2317 0.04999 82 64 17 1
6253 I bet your owner doesn’t wear his mask right either. 1.2317 0.05291 82 65 15 2
6254 How do you know if it’s working? 1.2317 0.05569 82 66 13 3
6255 : "My ancestors were on the Mayflower" 1.2317 0.05569 82 66 13 3
6256 A Buzz Feed article told me this is how to wear a surgical cone. Who knew?! 1.2317 0.05569 82 66 13 3
6257 That's correct Roger, this is called a "ruff" 1.2316 0.05489 95 78 12 5
6258 You gotta do the hokey-pokey! 1.2316 0.05281 95 77 14 4
6259 I've always been fashion forward. 1.2316 0.05489 95 78 12 5
6260 Mine's aerodynamic for high speed runs. What does yours do? 1.2316 0.05281 95 77 14 4
6261 He's not the smartest vet, but dog's love him. 1.2316 0.05281 95 77 14 4
6262 I can still lick my butt! 1.2316 0.05689 95 79 10 6
6263 Hi! I am Father Rover, how can I help? 1.2316 0.05489 95 78 12 5
6264 I've also been pegging my jeans. 1.2316 0.04838 95 75 18 2
6265 My vet had this revelation. 1.2316 0.05065 95 76 16 3
6266 Would you be willing to lick it for me? 1.2315 0.05197 108 89 13 6
6267 Now I can chase my tail. 1.2308 0.05748 78 63 12 3
6268 I'm streamlined 1.2308 0.04961 91 72 17 2
6269 I have this bad habit. 1.2308 0.05748 78 63 12 3
6270 Didn't you hear? Downward dog cones are the trend now. 1.2308 0.05431 91 74 13 4
6271 Ideologically, I'm an "innie". 1.2308 0.05451 78 62 14 2
6272 Why, no, I don’t have a habit of digging at my ears. 1.2308 0.05451 78 62 14 2
6273 I wouldn’t worry. I mean who thought skinny jeans would catch on. 1.2308 0.05748 78 63 12 3
6274 No I didn't have any surgery, I just never liked that lamp. 1.2308 0.05651 91 75 11 5
6275 I call it the Cone of Vision. 1.2308 0.05748 78 63 12 3
6276 I was being buffeted by headwinds. 1.2308 0.05451 78 62 14 2
6277 Try it - it's more aerodynamic 1.2308 0.05748 78 63 12 3
6278 I taught the Vet a new trick. 1.2308 0.05451 78 62 14 2
6279 You would do well to remember that the Pilgrim look has never gone out of style. 1.2308 0.05137 78 61 16 1
6280 It's a virtual vet. 1.2308 0.04779 104 83 18 3
6281 I’m an introvert & you’re an extrovert, we really need to figure out how to make this work! 1.2308 0.06031 78 64 10 4
6282 Try walking into a really stiff wind. 1.2308 0.05201 91 73 15 3
6283 Don't worry. There are no AKC standards for this. 1.2308 0.05137 78 61 16 1
6284 Speak up, I can’t hear you. 1.2308 0.04708 91 71 19 1
6285 It's called reverse dogmatic psychiatry 1.2308 0.06031 78 64 10 4
6286 No, not from the vet... I use it to improve my aerodynamics. 1.2308 0.05137 78 61 16 1
6287 I already got the vaccine. 1.2308 0.05201 91 73 15 3
6288 I got the COVIDCONE. 1.2308 0.05137 78 61 16 1
6289 I like it. It is more streamlined. 1.2308 0.05201 91 73 15 3
6290 Is it fate that we met? 1.2308 0.04961 91 72 17 2
6291 Mine is definitely more aerodynamic 1.2308 0.05451 78 62 14 2
6292 The wind is out of the north today. 1.2308 0.05748 78 63 12 3
6293 Concave or convex, they still call me Rex! 1.2308 0.06112 65 52 11 2
6294 That’s one interpretation of “ruff,” I guess. 1.2308 0.05651 91 75 11 5
6295 Stitches? No, I joined the priesthood. 1.2308 0.06493 65 53 9 3
6296 Wow,what a loudspeaker! 1.2308 0.05137 78 61 16 1
6297 Don't worry, 2021 will be better 1.2308 0.06031 78 64 10 4
6298 I got your back 1.2308 0.04801 78 60 18 0
6299 My vet doesn't get it. 1.2308 0.05705 65 51 13 1
6300 It's so much easier driving when you can use your peripheral vision 1.2308 0.05137 78 61 16 1
6301 2020... I don't want to look back. 1.2308 0.06493 65 53 9 3
6302 dog is in the details 1.2308 0.06031 78 64 10 4
6303 I know, he really thought I had eyes on the back of my head. 1.2308 0.05431 91 74 13 4
6304 What, like it’s hard? 1.2308 0.06112 65 52 11 2
6305 I just knew I couldn’t stay in my echo chamber any longer. 1.2308 0.06493 65 53 9 3
6306 That style is so "2020". 1.2308 0.05451 78 62 14 2
6307 Wow, that's some feedback. 1.2308 0.04801 78 60 18 0
6308 I find this is faster. 1.2308 0.05748 78 63 12 3
6309 Yup, a bit too windy. 1.2308 0.05451 78 62 14 2
6310 Well Well I see you finally went through with it. You won't regret it. 1.2308 0.05431 91 74 13 4
6311 No, Man. That's like so un-aerodynamic. 1.2308 0.05451 78 62 14 2
6312 Elizabethan vs Victrolan 1.2308 0.06112 65 52 11 2
6313 Medical procedure? No, I just tussled with a floor lamp. 1.2308 0.05748 78 63 12 3
6314 It's more slimming when you wear it this way!" 1.2308 0.05451 78 62 14 2
6315 This will be a trend,trust me. 1.2308 0.05137 78 61 16 1
6316 This how they are wearing it in the park these days. 1.2308 0.06031 78 64 10 4
6317 It got me out of the war. 1.2308 0.05748 78 63 12 3
6318 Cone-vidiot. 1.2308 0.06493 65 53 9 3
6319 So we’re not in this together? 1.2308 0.05201 91 73 15 3
6320 It may be ‘so last year’, but my psychiatrist says it gives me an air of unearned, dynamic superiority. 1.2308 0.05451 78 62 14 2
6321 This came out during our extrovert-friendly canine design workshop 1.2308 0.05137 78 61 16 1
6322 dyslexic? 1.2308 0.04708 91 71 19 1
6323 Your dating paw-file did not say anti-coner... 1.2308 0.06031 78 64 10 4
6324 Just stick your noggin through the cat flap, Hal. 1.2308 0.06031 78 64 10 4
6325 Make pandemics great again 1.2308 0.05863 91 76 9 6
6326 Hey Bert, this lampshade thing was hilarious at the party last night, not so much today huh? 1.2308 0.05201 91 73 15 3
6327 The vet that hooked me up said I would get less drag 1.2308 0.05137 78 61 16 1
6328 It’s Opposite Day! 1.2308 0.06301 78 65 8 5
6329 Inverted values 1.2308 0.06031 78 64 10 4
6330 I’ll scratch your butt, if you scratch my neck. 1.2308 0.05651 91 75 11 5
6331 In Russia butthole licks you! 1.2308 0.05431 91 74 13 4
6332 Your headwind is my tail wind! 1.2300 0.04683 100 79 19 2
6333 Some vets are better than others. 1.2300 0.04894 100 80 17 3
6334 Now that I'm online, I'm trying to be an influencer. 1.2299 0.05348 87 70 14 3
6335 I have to wear my cone like this, I have a medical condition 1.2299 0.05348 87 70 14 3
6336 Could you tell me how to get to Plymouth Rock? William Bradford is expecting me. 1.2299 0.05348 87 70 14 3
6337 I just can't breath right with it on that way 1.2299 0.06269 87 74 6 7
6338 One of us has it on bass-akwards. 1.2299 0.05593 87 71 12 4
6339 I’ll lick your wounds if you lick my wounds. 1.2299 0.06052 87 73 8 6
6340 It doesn’t matter, I can’t lick my balls either. 1.2299 0.05593 87 71 12 4
6341 I am Pastor Buddy. What ails thee, my child? 1.2299 0.05348 87 70 14 3
6342 Okay, groomer. 1.2299 0.05593 87 71 12 4
6343 ....that must have been a hell of 'a tail-wind! 1.2299 0.05593 87 71 12 4
6344 My owner is not too bright. 1.2299 0.05593 87 71 12 4
6345 Vintage IKEA. Who are you wearing? 1.2299 0.05092 87 69 16 2
6346 All the French bulldogs wear them like this... 1.2299 0.05348 87 70 14 3
6347 ......pretty sure I have it on right 1.2299 0.04823 87 68 18 1
6348 You know, that style is so last season. 1.2299 0.05348 87 70 14 3
6349 I turn it this way when she says, ' Wanna go for a ride'? 1.2299 0.05348 87 70 14 3
6350 I usually wear mine with a tie, and a Windsor knot. 1.2299 0.05827 87 72 10 5
6351 I’m thinking outside the barks. 1.2299 0.05593 87 71 12 4
6352 They move the cone around when you commit your life to God. Otherwise you are just Dog. 1.2299 0.05827 87 72 10 5
6353 It’s totally improved my Tinder experience. 1.2299 0.05348 87 70 14 3
6354 It's because my doctor is Australian and in Australia the cones go in the opposite direction. It's science. 1.2299 0.03729 87 72 13 2
6355 Sir,the Civil Rights Act of 1964 says I can claim a religious exemption for not wearing a cone,I 1.2299 0.05593 87 71 12 4
6356 It's to keep my butt from licking my face." 1.2299 0.05348 87 70 14 3
6357 Thanks for letting me know! This explains why, even with my certificate, I couldn’t go on the plane! 1.2299 0.05092 87 69 16 2
6358 My father was a lamp for Halloween. I was a nun. It was awesome. 1.2297 0.05625 74 59 13 2
6359 I don’t believe in mainstream vets. 1.2297 0.05945 74 60 11 3
6360 I think it gives me an edge in achieving my lifetime ambition of catching a squirrel 1.2297 0.05625 74 59 13 2
6361 What? Your human puts the mask over its nose? 1.2297 0.05625 74 59 13 2
6362 Before he became a vet, he used to make lobster traps to pay his through veterinary school... 1.2297 0.05945 74 60 11 3
6363 Love the feeling with my head out the car window. 1.2297 0.06249 74 61 9 4
6364 We have the extraordinary opportunity to meet each other's most gnawing needs. 1.2297 0.04923 74 57 17 0
6365 I told you 2021 was going to be better. 1.2297 0.05945 74 60 11 3
6366 So how long have you been a follower of Cone-Anon? 1.2297 0.05286 74 58 15 1
6367 I kept my head out the car window for a long time, and they haven't noticed since. 1.2297 0.05945 74 60 11 3
6368 Hey, dude. Don't you know everyone's wearing their hats backwards today? 1.2297 0.05945 74 60 11 3
6369 Styles change, dude. This is whatʻs on the runway at Milan this spring. 1.2297 0.05625 74 59 13 2
6370 It's a more fashion forward look. 1.2297 0.05625 74 59 13 2
6371 Probably worked his way through Vet school as an electrician 1.2297 0.06249 74 61 9 4
6372 Well, shall we try the other ends? 1.2297 0.05625 74 59 13 2
6373 Man! It’s windy out there. 1.2297 0.04923 74 57 17 0
6374 As we get to the cone portion of the competition, it’s the judges question to answer. “Who wore it better?” 1.2297 0.05286 74 58 15 1
6375 My human says when you wear it this way it’s a “cone of fame” 1.2297 0.05945 74 60 11 3
6376 I told her I wanted a more aerodynamic look. 1.2297 0.05625 74 59 13 2
6377 I guess I'm lucky. He's a religious type, more Puritan than Elizabethan. 1.2297 0.04923 74 57 17 0
6378 This is not any better 1.2297 0.05945 74 60 11 3
6379 It keeps my butt from scratching my face. 1.2297 0.06249 74 61 9 4
6380 That look is so last year. 1.2297 0.05625 74 59 13 2
6381 I'm fine. For me, i'ts a fashion statement. 1.2297 0.05945 74 60 11 3
6382 Yes, Democrat... 1.2297 0.05945 74 60 11 3
6383 Just turn around, and take advantage of the headwind. 1.2297 0.04923 74 57 17 0
6384 Is that a "lamp" dog? 1.2297 0.05625 74 59 13 2
6385 My brother was an outie. 1.2297 0.05945 74 60 11 3
6386 It’s much more flattering this way. 1.2297 0.06249 74 61 9 4
6387 Any luck getting to it yet? 1.2297 0.05625 74 59 13 2
6388 You’re an outtie 1.2297 0.05945 74 60 11 3
6389 think outside of your cone 1.2297 0.05945 74 60 11 3
6390 You will always be the conservative collar type while I am compelled to vogue in The Cone. 1.2297 0.05625 74 59 13 2
6391 They say it’s less effective wearing it this way, but where’s the proof? 1.2297 0.05625 74 59 13 2
6392 Hey if we stack our cones together we'd be a long eight-legged headless monster! 1.2297 0.05625 74 59 13 2
6393 I can recommend a terrific mohel. 1.2295 0.06772 61 50 8 3
6394 Hi, I’m Queen Elizabeth. What’s your name? 1.2292 0.04794 96 76 18 2
6395 I do think of this as being more fashion forward. 1.2292 0.05231 96 78 14 4
6396 No, I’m a Trend Setter. 1.2292 0.05437 96 79 12 5
6397 Stop complaining, it's a good look for you. 1.2292 0.04559 96 75 20 1
6398 I don’t think we followed the directions to the telephone game quite right, I can’t hear a thing you said 1.2292 0.05437 96 79 12 5
6399 I’m thinking outside the cone! 1.2289 0.05508 83 67 13 3
6400 I'm an anti vetter. 1.2289 0.05508 83 67 13 3
6401 Turn that cone upside down, and your frown too, while you're at it. 1.2289 0.05235 83 66 15 2
6402 It’s easy. Just go to the top of the Empire State Building. 1.2289 0.05235 83 66 15 2
6403 I was just chasing my tail! 1.2289 0.05093 83 68 12 3
6404 I thought it made me look fat. 1.2289 0.05508 83 67 13 3
6405 Well,aren't you having a ruff day! 1.2289 0.04946 83 65 17 1
6406 THEY HAVE BEEN BINCHING THE HANDMAID'S TALE. 1.2289 0.05508 83 67 13 3
6407 I don’t know. I just can’t get my head around that look. 1.2289 0.05235 83 66 15 2
6408 Let's just say I didn't mind getting neutered as much as I thought I would. 1.2289 0.04946 83 65 17 1
6409 If you turn it inside out, it's a fashion statement. 1.2289 0.05508 83 67 13 3
6410 It's a hoax - and so are vaccines! 1.2289 0.05235 83 66 15 2
6411 It’s the new fuel efficient model 1.2289 0.06018 83 69 9 5
6412 I see you had the new guy, huh? 1.2289 0.05508 83 67 13 3
6413 It helps with my anxiety. 1.2289 0.05235 83 66 15 2
6414 I still can’t lick myself, but at least I’m no longer living in an echo chamber. 1.2289 0.04946 83 65 17 1
6415 And so now, I’m the influencer . 1.2289 0.05235 83 66 15 2
6416 We can do each other a big favor. 1.2289 0.05769 83 68 11 4
6417 Is this a fashion faux paw? 1.2289 0.05235 83 66 15 2
6418 Maybe that’s why they named us Yin and Yang. 1.2289 0.05508 83 67 13 3
6419 My favorite Youtuber wore it like this,so now I wear it like this. 1.2289 0.05508 83 67 13 3
6420 I see you're still blindsided! 1.2289 0.05769 83 68 11 4
6421 You're my yin to my yang. 1.2289 0.05508 83 67 13 3
6422 I scratch on my own terms. 1.2289 0.06018 83 69 9 5
6423 My humans are watching Bridgerton 1.2289 0.05235 83 66 15 2
6424 Yeah, it’s been a rough morning Hal 1.2289 0.05508 83 67 13 3
6425 Been hangin' out the car window my whole life. Never knew why 'til today. 1.2289 0.06018 83 69 9 5
6426 It keeps the tail from wagging me! 1.2289 0.04946 83 65 17 1
6427 It's yet to receive FDA approval, but the results thus far have been promising 1.2289 0.05508 83 67 13 3
6428 I'll scratch yours if you scratch mine? 1.2286 0.05817 70 56 12 2
6429 I must say, this way is so much better for butt sniffing. 1.2286 0.06163 70 57 10 3
6430 I’ve heard these are a throwback to the Victorian error. 1.2286 0.06490 70 58 8 4
6431 And then just say abracadabra!! 1.2286 0.05817 70 56 12 2
6432 Just go out in a strong wind. 1.2286 0.06163 70 57 10 3
6433 Canine clergy? I prefer "God-dog!" 1.2286 0.05817 70 56 12 2
6434 I'm WEARING the cone, why should it have to cover my nose? 1.2286 0.04541 105 83 20 2
6435 This is what happens when you stick your head out the window and your human drives really fast! 1.2286 0.06163 70 57 10 3
6436 I got lucky, my human has dyslexia. 1.2286 0.06163 70 57 10 3
6437 Luckily for me, my vet has dyslexia. 1.2286 0.06163 70 57 10 3
6438 I'm a Dominican. 1.2286 0.05449 70 55 14 1
6439 It changes it from the cone of shame into a clergy collar! 1.2286 0.06163 70 57 10 3
6440 It’s OK, my collar’s just a bit nervous around strangers. 1.2286 0.05817 70 56 12 2
6441 Oh great. Another bonehead wearing his mask wrong 1.2286 0.06490 70 58 8 4
6442 They call mine a roamin' collar. 1.2286 0.06163 70 57 10 3
6443 He’s on some “reverse psychology” trip. 1.2286 0.05817 70 56 12 2
6444 My human is dyslexic and ambidextrous; it's a gift. 1.2286 0.06490 70 58 8 4
6445 I was a good dog. They call it, "The cone of pride." 1.2286 0.05817 70 56 12 2
6446 Next time you’re in a storm, just turn into the wind. 1.2286 0.06163 70 57 10 3
6447 It's Aerodogmatic. 1.2286 0.06490 70 58 8 4
6448 Yeah, I really like badminton, sorry to hear about your balls. 1.2286 0.06163 70 57 10 3
6449 Times are tough these days, I figured I'd switch it up 1.2286 0.05449 70 55 14 1
6450 It's called 'backward thinking.' 1.2286 0.05110 105 86 14 5
6451 I find that this way, it disarms the bitches! 1.2283 0.05595 92 76 11 5
6452 We were standing in front of a mirror. 1.2283 0.05377 92 75 13 4
6453 you can get it at Amazon 1.2283 0.05150 92 74 15 3
6454 The vet’s dyslexic. 1.2283 0.05804 92 77 9 6
6455 You’re Cone n I’m O’Brien 1.2283 0.05150 92 74 15 3
6456 It's the upside of having a dyslexic vet. 1.2283 0.05150 92 74 15 3
6457 You’ve got to take the blinders off and accept election results. 1.2283 0.05804 92 77 9 6
6458 Exactly--it can be a necklace or a tiara! 1.2283 0.05595 92 76 11 5
6459 Did you break the cone of silence? 1.2283 0.05150 92 74 15 3
6460 I’m frankly more worried about my body attacking my face. 1.2283 0.05150 92 74 15 3
6461 Recovery cone, but make it fashion! 1.2278 0.05079 79 62 16 1
6462 Want to come up for a drink? 1.2278 0.05079 79 62 16 1
6463 My owner doesn't want me necking with you. 1.2278 0.05079 79 62 16 1
6464 That’s how they wear it in Italy. It’s sprezzatura. 1.2278 0.05390 79 63 14 2
6465 They tried talk therapy, but the cone really changed my life. 1.2278 0.05961 79 65 10 4
6466 It's the old lampshade trick. 1.2278 0.05390 79 63 14 2
6467 Fleas? No, lobster for dinner. 1.2278 0.05390 79 63 14 2
6468 This way I don't hear an echo when I bark 1.2278 0.05390 79 63 14 2
6469 Yeah, and I've got big ideas on investment strategies, too. 1.2278 0.06228 79 66 8 5
6470 That popped collar look is so last dog year. 1.2278 0.06228 79 66 8 5
6471 It was recommended by my therapist. 1.2278 0.05079 79 62 16 1
6472 Bizarro World, for sure! 1.2278 0.05079 79 62 16 1
6473 Hey Dufus, you're wearing it backwards! 1.2278 0.04749 79 61 18 0
6474 I know. My human does everything backwards. 1.2278 0.04749 79 61 18 0
6475 Let me try to explain aerodynamics to you once again, Rex… 1.2278 0.05390 79 63 14 2
6476 That's not how yin/yang works. 1.2278 0.05390 79 63 14 2
6477 I hear you !!! 1.2278 0.05390 79 63 14 2
6478 Cuts down on wind resistance. 1.2278 0.05079 79 62 16 1
6479 Turn it around,pal. It works better. 1.2278 0.05079 79 62 16 1
6480 I’m claustrophobic. 1.2278 0.04749 79 61 18 0
6481 You should really get that fixed! 1.2278 0.05683 79 64 12 3
6482 My master is a minister 1.2278 0.05683 79 64 12 3
6483 You must be Coming. I'm Going. 1.2278 0.05390 79 63 14 2
6484 I got vaccinated 1.2278 0.05683 79 64 12 3
6485 Mine is the koan of shame — it comes off when I figure out if we have a Buddha nature. 1.2278 0.05079 79 62 16 1
6486 No, mine is an experiment in advanced aerodognamics. 1.2278 0.05961 79 65 10 4
6487 My vet is in fashion. 1.2278 0.05683 79 64 12 3
6488 My collar keeps the fleas away from the face! 1.2278 0.05390 79 63 14 2
6489 I heard that after you are vaccinated you still have to socially distance but you don’t have to wear a cone 1.2278 0.05683 79 64 12 3
6490 It's New York Fashion Week! 1.2278 0.05079 79 62 16 1
6491 Definitely half empty. 1.2278 0.05390 79 63 14 2
6492 Cone of shame? Nah, this is a frill of empowerment. 1.2278 0.05390 79 63 14 2
6493 I told them I wanted to be a clown. 1.2278 0.05683 79 64 12 3
6494 It's a pilgrim collar. You like? 1.2278 0.05683 79 64 12 3
6495 You should have seen him trying to put a square peg into this round hole. 1.2278 0.05683 79 64 12 3
6496 I see you're wearing the Canine Dior look from last season 1.2278 0.05079 79 62 16 1
6497 I'll tell ya, you missed one hell of a party! Hope you feel better. 1.2278 0.05390 79 63 14 2
6498 Oh, were your kønthrop instructions missing a step? 1.2278 0.05079 79 62 16 1
6499 Do you get less drag with that one? 1.2278 0.05390 79 63 14 2
6500 From a different point of view 1.2278 0.05683 79 64 12 3
6501 This is what I'm wearing to the Met Gala. 1.2278 0.05961 79 65 10 4
6502 I got the vaccine so they let me turn it around. 1.2278 0.05390 79 63 14 2
6503 My therapist encouraged them to try it. 1.2277 0.05050 101 82 15 4
6504 If you push it backwards you can lick yourself again 1.2277 0.05050 101 82 15 4
6505 Excuse me, do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior? 1.2273 0.05294 88 71 14 3
6506 I take it you're a Democrat. 1.2273 0.05535 88 72 12 4
6507 So I see it's form over function in your house 1.2273 0.05041 88 70 16 2
6508 Same limitations but now I’m the life of the party. 1.2273 0.04775 88 69 18 1
6509 "I'm finally dealing with my sense of shame." 1.2273 0.04775 88 69 18 1
6510 We're a "no mask" family 1.2273 0.05041 88 70 16 2
6511 No, not at all, I have a lampshade fetish! 1.2273 0.05535 88 72 12 4
6512 Makes you look like a girl. 1.2273 0.06028 66 53 11 2
6513 My mistress believes true fashion puts a surprising spin on old styles! 1.2273 0.05294 88 71 14 3
6514 Next time ask for the reversible model. 1.2273 0.05294 88 71 14 3
6515 Did you not know it was backwards day today? 1.2273 0.05294 88 71 14 3
6516 Greyhounds eat my dust. 1.2273 0.05294 88 71 14 3
6517 Animal couture inspired by nuns and priests 1.2273 0.04775 88 69 18 1
6518 I think it makes me look slimmer. 1.2273 0.06028 66 53 11 2
6519 My owner is a rocket scientist. 1.2273 0.05535 88 72 12 4
6520 Some people say it’s an affectation, but I just find this way more comfortable. 1.2273 0.05041 88 70 16 2
6521 She pours her milk first too. 1.2273 0.06403 66 54 9 3
6522 Personally, I like the sleek look. 1.2273 0.05041 88 70 16 2
6523 It’s no longer a cone of shame. It’s a fashion statement. 1.2273 0.05629 66 52 13 1
6524 It was one of those parties when idiots put lamp shades on their head 1.2273 0.06403 66 54 9 3
6525 My owner keeps me in stitches. 1.2273 0.06028 66 55 8 3
6526 I call it, Gangnam style. 1.2273 0.05041 88 70 16 2
6527 My owner is dyslectic & calls me God. So what else could I expect from him? 1.2273 0.05294 88 71 14 3
6528 My humans did it after they came home from the Met Gala. 1.2273 0.06028 66 53 11 2
6529 Now we can cuddle! 1.2273 0.05766 88 73 10 5
6530 Well, at least you can listen to yourself in stereo. 1.2273 0.05294 88 71 14 3
6531 You’re lucky I’m full. 1.2273 0.05535 88 72 12 4
6532 Popped collars are so out of fashion, dawg 1.2273 0.05041 88 70 16 2
6533 You've got this all wrong. I can eat whatever I want without a thought about my waistline. 1.2273 0.05294 88 71 14 3
6534 I've come to appreciate my owners dyslexia 1.2273 0.05629 66 52 13 1
6535 Oh man, did I put it on inside out again? 1.2273 0.06403 66 54 9 3
6536 My vet is into new age therapies and looks 1.2273 0.06028 66 53 11 2
6537 Dude, you got it all wrong! 1.2273 0.05294 88 71 14 3
6538 Backwards is in the eye if the beholder. 1.2273 0.06758 66 55 7 4
6539 Oh no, my son works in cones and assures me this is correct 1.2273 0.05041 88 70 16 2
6540 I’m fine thanks. It’s just a fashion statement. 1.2273 0.05041 88 70 16 2
6541 My Zooms go faster this way 1.2273 0.05629 66 52 13 1
6542 It lowers the drag force when I run. 1.2273 0.06028 66 53 11 2
6543 Blessed Be The Fruit, sister. A strong wind blew back my bonnet. Can you fix it before the Guardians hang me? 1.2268 0.05582 97 81 10 6
6544 You say tom-A-to, I say tom-ah-to. 1.2268 0.04971 97 78 16 3
6545 I guess I was getting a little too fresh with Fifi at the party so Pierre jammed this lampshade on my head. What happened to you? 1.2267 0.05874 75 61 11 3
6546 And this happened after you got into their special mushrooms ziplock bag ? 1.2267 0.05224 75 59 15 1
6547 My human flunked math! 1.2267 0.05874 75 61 11 3
6548 Still beats Halloween. 1.2267 0.05224 75 59 15 1
6549 I’m with the flying nun. 1.2267 0.05224 75 59 15 1
6550 We are M-F-E-O! 1.2267 0.05394 75 62 10 3
6551 It's a Chick Magnet!! 1.2267 0.05874 75 61 11 3
6552 I just pooped all over the house until they reversed my cone. 1.2267 0.05558 75 60 13 2
6553 How do you like my mini-skirt? 1.2267 0.05874 75 61 11 3
6554 Do tell me, what you did to go from a cone of shame to a collar of Elizabeth flair. 1.2267 0.05558 75 60 13 2
6555 It's a Dark Sky compliant lamp shade. 1.2267 0.05874 75 61 11 3
6556 I prefer the Queen Elizabeth I look. Ruuuffff! 1.2267 0.05558 75 60 13 2
6557 Oh, I wear mine for religious reasons. 1.2267 0.05874 75 61 11 3
6558 They said I'm too good at playing with my balls. 1.2267 0.05558 75 60 13 2
6559 This Zoom filter is awesome, but I still can't figure out how to mirror my video... 1.2267 0.05874 75 61 11 3
6560 I actually found mine in an alley. Pretty neat, huh? 1.2267 0.05874 75 61 11 3
6561 My vet just got back from Paris and said this is the in look. 1.2267 0.05224 75 59 15 1
6562 Of course it's true that opposites attract. 1.2267 0.06458 75 63 7 5
6563 Either way we are about to get our "Asses Licked"! 1.2267 0.06173 75 62 9 4
6564 This isn't the first time he's messed things up like this... 1.2267 0.05224 75 59 15 1
6565 Who wears it best? 1.2267 0.05874 75 61 11 3
6566 At least I have stopped receiving those perplexing radio transmissions from the planet Og! 1.2267 0.05874 75 61 11 3
6567 At last, I’ve found my other half. 1.2267 0.05558 75 60 13 2
6568 This is how the Tik Tok dog influencers are wearing it. 1.2267 0.05224 75 59 15 1
6569 I never understood how masks should be worn 1.2267 0.05224 75 59 15 1
6570 Keep this in the cone of silence, okay? 1.2267 0.05558 75 60 13 2
6571 Are you sure it’s to protect your incision? I thought it was a flatulence reflector. 1.2267 0.05874 75 61 11 3
6572 Why yes, yes I am intact. 1.2267 0.05558 75 60 13 2
6573 Yeah, but this way really increases my miles-per-growlin’ 1.2267 0.05558 75 60 13 2
6574 I used a Groupon. 1.2267 0.04867 75 58 17 0
6575 Don't worry, every dog has its day. 1.2267 0.05558 75 60 13 2
6576 Look! My cone’s in retrograde! 1.2267 0.04867 75 58 17 0
6577 Now I understand what dyslexia means. 1.2267 0.05558 75 60 13 2
6578 You’ve taken your alternative facts way too far, Henry. 1.2267 0.05224 75 59 15 1
6579 Honestly, Carl, it’s worth it. True, I can’t walk or lie down, but there’s a palpable difference in butt-sniff quality. 1.2264 0.06398 53 42 10 1
6580 I think that you're too forward thinking. 1.2264 0.04698 106 85 18 3
6581 The good news is I can still date. 1.2262 0.05449 84 68 13 3
6582 Wild party. You? 1.2262 0.05449 84 68 13 3
6583 It's an alternative collar. 1.2262 0.05706 84 69 11 4
6584 Quieter and more aerodynamic... and only slightly more expensive than your older version 1.2262 0.05449 84 68 13 3
6585 Neil Stephenson had something to do with this. 1.2262 0.05179 84 67 15 2
6586 It's a retro look, Ginger. Get into it. 1.2262 0.04592 84 65 19 0
6587 So you’ve got both doses already? 1.2262 0.05449 84 68 13 3
6588 I’t’s doggy gabbana. 1.2262 0.05449 84 68 13 3
6589 You were at the Capitol too? 1.2262 0.05706 84 69 11 4
6590 My psychologist said it was this way or nothing. 1.2262 0.05449 84 68 13 3
6591 Looks like I'm coming right at you, doesn't it?! 1.2262 0.05179 84 67 15 2
6592 I find I’m more fuel efficient this way” 1.2262 0.05706 84 69 11 4
6593 I needed something a little more aerodynamic. 1.2262 0.04895 84 66 17 1
6594 So, there I was, in the back seat trying to get my head out the window when it hit me -- the problem was air resistance! 1.2262 0.05449 84 68 13 3
6595 It's all about your perspective. 1.2262 0.05179 84 67 15 2
6596 Funny thing is, I swallowed the whole lamp!" 1.2262 0.05706 84 69 11 4
6597 Who wore their freedom best? 1.2262 0.05449 84 68 13 3
6598 It lets me stay in the car window without flying anywhere near Kansas. 1.2262 0.05449 84 68 13 3
6599 Maybe they thought they could stop us from licking each other! 1.2262 0.05179 84 67 15 2
6600 This Jacobean collar is much more humane. 1.2262 0.05179 84 67 15 2
6601 Riding in a car has never felt so streamlined 1.2262 0.05179 84 67 15 2
6602 Thanks, I call it the Cone of Fame. 1.2262 0.04895 84 66 17 1
6603 Get the streamlined version 1.2262 0.05179 84 67 15 2
6604 If we were giraffes no one would notice the difference. 1.2262 0.05706 84 69 11 4
6605 ...For 50 biscuits, I'll show you how to invert that sucker... 1.2262 0.05706 84 69 11 4
6606 So that's why you have tunnel vision 1.2262 0.05449 84 68 13 3
6607 i'm social distancing my body. 1.2262 0.05706 84 69 11 4
6608 Actually, Oscar, all heroes wear capes 1.2262 0.05952 84 70 9 5
6609 Did you also read the article 15 ways to accessorize your cone? 1.2262 0.05449 84 68 13 3
6610 : Employee Rule : Be Focused with limited vision, Management Rule : Be Focused with 360 degree vision .... 1.2262 0.05449 84 68 13 3
6611 It's all about aerodynamics, Buddy! 1.2262 0.04895 84 66 17 1
6612 My girlfriend used to have one just like that. 1.2258 0.05325 93 76 13 4
6613 I have a proposition for you. 1.2258 0.05826 62 49 12 1
6614 It's funny because mine is on backwards. 1.2258 0.05325 93 76 13 4
6615 Mine is the supersonic version. 1.2258 0.05826 62 49 12 1
6616 Nothing to it - you just run really fast. 1.2258 0.06673 62 51 8 3
6617 I’m so jealous that yours can tune into SiriusXM. 1.2258 0.05353 62 48 14 0
6618 Just switch it up, Ashley, be your own dog! You don’t have to buy something new to update your wardrobe. 1.2258 0.04866 93 74 17 2
6619 The good news is, it's possible to break out of the cone. The bad news is, I think we're living with sadists. 1.2258 0.05540 93 77 11 5
6620 The satellite dish look's so passé, you should go Elizabethan. 1.2258 0.06264 62 50 10 2
6621 My cone is bigger than yours. 1.2258 0.05325 93 76 13 4
6622 This is how the kids are wearing them 1.2258 0.05100 93 75 15 3
6623 Happy backwards day! Today I am a "god". 1.2258 0.05100 93 75 15 3
6624 I don't normally talk to outsiders. 1.2258 0.05325 93 76 13 4
6625 Oh, you are wearing Kate Spayed too? 1.2258 0.05747 93 78 9 6
6626 You’re always so waggin’ cool. Is that how they’re doing it in Paris now? 1.2258 0.04619 93 73 19 1
6627 Whadda you mean "it's got to cover my nose"? 1.2258 0.04866 93 74 17 2
6628 olleH 1.2258 0.07058 62 52 6 4
6629 Why do we even have to wear it?! It might have something to do with cone-spiracy theories. 1.2258 0.04619 93 73 19 1
6630 Eh, I thought I'd shake it up for 2021, but it feels just about the same. 1.2258 0.05747 93 78 9 6
6631 Too bad your Catholic. 1.2258 0.06264 62 50 10 2
6632 Respectfully Arnold, you are out of the loop. 1.2258 0.04359 93 72 21 0
6633 If I bite your itch for you,would that be considered a white collar crime? 1.2255 0.05380 102 85 11 6
6634 I convinced my owner I had less wind resistance this way 1.2254 0.05743 71 57 12 2
6635 Tomayto, tomahto. 1.2254 0.06406 71 59 8 4
6636 I see you only got your first Covid shot. 1.2254 0.06084 71 58 10 3
6637 I wear mine backward. Societal standards can take a walk. Walk?! 1.2254 0.05743 71 57 12 2
6638 The aerodynamic design offers better mileage per gallon of water. 1.2254 0.05743 71 57 12 2
6639 How about you scratch my ass and I scratch yours, like a first date? 1.2254 0.05743 71 57 12 2
6640 It’s supposed to be the latest thing. You just have to get a human with a real sense of style to put it on you. 1.2254 0.06084 71 58 10 3
6641 Opposite Day. Ask your boss. It's a thing. 1.2254 0.05743 71 57 12 2
6642 Your cone’s on backwards. 1.2254 0.05743 71 57 12 2
6643 I always thought that being an outies was more sexy than being an innie.... 1.2254 0.05743 71 57 12 2
6644 I convinced the vet that I was "bi" . . . 1.2254 0.06084 71 58 10 3
6645 No more social distancing for me. I got the vaccine. 1.2254 0.05743 71 57 12 2
6646 What happened ? I don’t know, but I can still eat! 1.2254 0.05743 71 57 12 2
6647 This the more cerebral question: who is going and who is coming? 1.2254 0.05743 71 57 12 2
6648 Face into the wind. 1.2254 0.06084 71 58 10 3
6649 It may look less idiotic, but I still can't reach my butt! 1.2254 0.05743 71 57 12 2
6650 I think this is supposed to help us mate, but I've watched the video three times and I still don't get it. 1.2254 0.05382 71 56 14 1
6651 It's definitely an '80s look, but retro suits you. 1.2254 0.05743 71 57 12 2
6652 It's the same ole cone half empty or half full? 1.2254 0.06084 71 58 10 3
6653 My vet used to be a fashion designer 1.2254 0.06406 71 59 8 4
6654 My master's cone 1.2254 0.06406 71 59 8 4
6655 it makes swimming against the current such a breeze. 1.2254 0.05743 71 57 12 2
6656 It’s called aerodynamics. 1.2254 0.05743 71 57 12 2
6657 Don’t worry, we’re making a fashion statement! 1.2254 0.05382 71 56 14 1
6658 Windy out there isn’t it. 1.2254 0.05743 71 57 12 2
6659 What exactly are you wearing? 1.2254 0.06084 71 58 10 3
6660 They said I couldn't lick MY genitals. They didn't say anything about licking OTHER dog's genitals. 1.2254 0.06406 71 59 8 4
6661 Flashlight, meet Lamp 1.2254 0.06084 71 58 10 3
6662 You want to? 1.2254 0.05382 71 56 14 1
6663 It's what they're wearing in Paris. 1.2250 0.05329 80 64 14 2
6664 Mine is called the cone of uncertainty. 1.2250 0.05618 80 65 12 3
6665 I’m told it really brings out my eyes. 1.2250 0.06156 80 67 8 5
6666 Looked like rain. 1.2250 0.05329 80 64 14 2
6667 The play was transformative. 1.2250 0.05329 80 64 14 2
6668 I still can't lick my balls, but now, it's a fashion statement and not a symbol of the Man's control over me. 1.2250 0.05893 80 66 10 4
6669 Just a strong gust of wind 1.2250 0.05618 80 65 12 3
6670 I'm joining the clergy to help comfort you and others like you. 1.2250 0.05893 80 66 10 4
6671 I looked it up on Youtube and voila! 1.2250 0.05618 80 65 12 3
6672 I sometimes feel like I'm the only one taking this thing seriously... 1.2250 0.05024 80 63 16 1
6673 I knew you always wanted to be Amish 1.2250 0.05893 80 66 10 4
6674 5 bacon bites and i'll lick it for ya 1.2250 0.05618 80 65 12 3
6675 They wear them on their noses 1.2250 0.05893 80 66 10 4
6676 If you run fast enough it will switch. 1.2250 0.05329 80 64 14 2
6677 Can we count on your vote? 1.2250 0.06156 80 67 8 5
6678 Yours is Elizabethan; mine's a Victrola. 1.2250 0.05618 80 65 12 3
6679 You’ve got your cape on backwards. 1.2250 0.05329 80 64 14 2
6680 You liberal breeds and your useless masks! 1.2250 0.05329 80 64 14 2
6681 You're not really an introvert; it just feels that way. 1.2250 0.05893 80 66 10 4
6682 No, this one is for car rides when I want to look where we're headed. 1.2250 0.05618 80 65 12 3
6683 Looks like one of us read the instructions wrong. 1.2250 0.05893 80 66 10 4
6684 It's a heck of a gale out there! 1.2250 0.04698 80 62 18 0
6685 You see, Bill, they say life is 1% what happens to you and 99% how you react to it. 1.2250 0.05893 80 66 10 4
6686 If you treat the vet like the mailman, they put it on this way 1.2250 0.05893 80 66 10 4
6687 It’s more aero this way. 1.2250 0.05329 80 64 14 2
6688 I just prefer to be an outie. 1.2250 0.05329 80 64 14 2
6689 Sorry bud, the upturned coller is so yesterday. 1.2250 0.05893 80 66 10 4
6690 Apparently, I'm cuter this way, so I'm keeping it on. 1.2250 0.05893 80 66 10 4
6691 I'm trying something new. 1.2250 0.05893 80 66 10 4
6692 Yin? I'm Yang 1.2250 0.05618 80 65 12 3
6693 Cool pups wear their cones backwards. 1.2250 0.05618 80 65 12 3
6694 Right way of wearing mask vs Karen's way of wearing mask 1.2250 0.06156 80 67 8 5
6695 Blessed day. 1.2250 0.05329 80 64 14 2
6696 Special experience, running into a lamp! 1.2250 0.05329 80 64 14 2
6697 It’s just as safe like this. My vet tech’s cousin’s cat told me so. 1.2250 0.05618 80 65 12 3
6698 So I told the vet, "You can't establish a direct link between me, a dog who licks his crotch at every possible moment, and me currently having stitches on my crotch." That's when I knew I got him. 1.2250 0.05893 80 66 10 4
6699 What do you mean “what’s really going on”? 1.2250 0.05329 80 64 14 2
6700 Blessed day, Of-Fido. 1.2250 0.05618 80 65 12 3
6701 It’s called aerodynamics, Spike. 1.2250 0.06156 80 67 8 5
6702 At first I missed them but now I'm into fashion. 1.2247 0.05478 89 73 12 4
6703 You’re still in the 90’s dog. 1.2247 0.05240 89 72 14 3
6704 I'm trying to broaden my perspective. 1.2247 0.04728 89 70 18 1
6705 Yours protects you. Mine protects you. 1.2247 0.05707 89 74 10 5
6706 Learn to hold your licker. 1.2247 0.04990 89 71 16 2
6707 How? My owner works at NASA. 1.2247 0.05240 89 72 14 3
6708 I convinced the vet that I’m a Basset-awkward! 1.2247 0.05478 89 73 12 4
6709 You have to put the future behind you. 1.2247 0.05240 89 72 14 3
6710 If I listened to my doctor all the time, I wouldn't have discovered this new fashion. 1.2247 0.05240 89 72 14 3
6711 ...and no more crumbles on my neck 1.2247 0.05240 89 72 14 3
6712 could be worse, you could have to wear a mask! 😷 1.2247 0.05240 89 72 14 3
6713 Dude. For the last time. It goes over your nose and mouth. 😷 1.2247 0.05478 89 73 12 4
6714 ‘You have to consider aerodynamics’ 1.2247 0.04728 89 70 18 1
6715 No, I didn’t get no surgery, I’m just a messy eater. 1.2247 0.05478 89 73 12 4
6716 I think the way I wear can improve my aerodynamic. 1.2247 0.05707 89 74 10 5
6717 It's going to be hard to watch your backside. 1.2245 0.05135 98 80 14 4
6718 I'm Lampshade. What's your name? 1.2245 0.05135 98 80 14 4
6719 And that's why you never see Superman with an umbrella! 1.2245 0.04925 98 79 16 3
6720 Fortunately,my Doc has dyslexia. 1.2243 0.04844 107 87 16 4
6721 No surgery - My owner is just disciplining me for breaking the lamp 1.2241 0.06046 58 46 11 1
6722 You should see the look on peoples faces. 1.2239 0.05947 67 54 11 2
6723 Arf for Arf's Sake 1.2239 0.05947 67 54 11 2
6724 Back in the day, I'd have been called an invert 1.2239 0.05947 67 54 11 2
6725 That’s not what I heard 1.2239 0.05947 67 54 11 2
6726 It's called the Mayflower. We just docked. 1.2239 0.06316 67 55 9 3
6727 If you can make it through the cat door without getting stuck, you're golden! 1.2239 0.05947 67 54 11 2
6728 I told you. You have to walk through the tunnel with the wind in your face! 1.2239 0.05554 67 53 13 1
6729 The next time, have them turn it the other way...........I can still smell AND lick! 1.2239 0.05947 67 54 11 2
6730 If the plastic cone style is uncomfortable for you, there are some cone alternatives. Check with your human about what style might work best to ensure that you can't bother your stitches. 1.2239 0.05554 67 53 13 1
6731 Got the whole Pandemic backwards! 1.2239 0.06996 67 57 5 5
6732 Ha! See, I’m going more for the ‘ Density x velocity^2 / 2 * area’ look. 1.2239 0.06316 67 55 9 3
6733 ... he's not a big fan of tutorials ... 1.2239 0.06316 67 55 9 3
6734 I got my second shot today. 1.2239 0.06665 67 56 7 4
6735 Trust me. This will end the 'I'm not a cat' filter mania. 1.2239 0.05554 67 53 13 1
6736 You know cones don’t work anyways. 1.2239 0.06996 67 57 5 5
6737 You clearly haven’t been watching The Handmaid’s Tail 1.2239 0.06316 67 55 9 3
6738 Bruh, you got turnt! 1.2239 0.05947 67 54 11 2
6739 Bitches dig bad boys 1.2239 0.05554 67 53 13 1
6740 It's known as an Eatin' Collar. 1.2237 0.05803 76 62 11 3
6741 It’s a shame any way you spin it. 1.2237 0.04812 76 59 17 0
6742 I saw it on Instagram. 1.2237 0.05164 76 60 15 1
6743 My sneezing is out of control this winter. 1.2237 0.05493 76 61 13 2
6744 Much better design - no echo and smells don't linger 1.2237 0.05493 76 61 13 2
6745 Hey Boomer, millennials say you can’t wear it like that anymore. 1.2237 0.05493 76 61 13 2
6746 I like to chase cars, so I said,"I'd prefer something more aerodynamic." 1.2237 0.05164 76 60 15 1
6747 I get better cell phone reception this way. 1.2237 0.04626 76 61 14 1
6748 I was inspired by this RBG quote. “Fight for the things that you care about. But do it in a way that will lead others to join you.” 1.2237 0.05493 76 61 13 2
6749 So last year,dear. 1.2237 0.05493 76 61 13 2
6750 Two sides of the same cone 1.2237 0.05493 76 61 13 2
6751 Keeps my body from licking my face. 1.2237 0.06379 76 64 7 5
6752 Sometimes a Dyslexic owner works well. 1.2237 0.06379 76 64 7 5
6753 White after Labor Day? 1.2237 0.05164 76 60 15 1
6754 Do you cone here often? 1.2237 0.05493 76 61 13 2
6755 We could be creative about this and call ourselves Yin and Yang. 1.2237 0.05493 76 61 13 2
6756 I can't even remember why I was wearing this thing. 1.2237 0.04812 76 59 17 0
6757 It’s hot easy being,”Man’s best friend’. 1.2237 0.05493 76 61 13 2
6758 Can't you see? It's obvious we're perfect for each other! 1.2237 0.05493 76 61 13 2
6759 I prefer the Italian to the Tudor. 1.2237 0.05803 76 62 11 3
6760 No, Fido. You’re wrong-headed on this one. 1.2237 0.05164 76 60 15 1
6761 I didn't know you were an outie. 1.2237 0.05493 76 61 13 2
6762 I know you want to be a good pet, Gerald, but sometimes you have got to be a bitch, flip your cone, and live a little. 1.2237 0.05803 76 62 11 3
6763 The new CDC guidelines just came out--apparently we have to wear them backwards now. 1.2237 0.05493 76 61 13 2
6764 I'm into stand-up comedy now 1.2237 0.05164 76 60 15 1
6765 DebGoldberg you’re the yin to my yang. 1.2237 0.04812 76 59 17 0
6766 no seriously Fido, you’ve got to get out of that old world mindset... this is the new normal 1.2237 0.05803 76 62 11 3
6767 I guess it’s true, Ignorance is bliss. 1.2237 0.05164 76 60 15 1
6768 All the Gen Z pups are doing it. 1.2237 0.05493 76 61 13 2
6769 Welcome back to the White House. 1.2237 0.05803 76 62 11 3
6770 My health insurance didn't cover it 1.2237 0.05803 76 62 11 3
6771 It works just as well 1.2237 0.05493 76 61 13 2
6772 Yay! I, too, am wearing a lampshade! 1.2235 0.05645 85 70 11 4
6773 Mine is a cone of pride. 1.2235 0.05125 85 68 15 2
6774 Is that a hearing aid? 1.2235 0.05645 85 70 11 4
6775 I think out of the cone 1.2235 0.05888 85 71 9 5
6776 This way your won't drown in the rain. 1.2235 0.05645 85 70 11 4
6777 She told me to throw it away but I said, no, it WILL come back into fashion. 1.2235 0.04546 85 66 19 0
6778 My vet is a modernist, see how much sleeker this looks? 1.2235 0.05125 85 68 15 2
6779 Try it. You'd be more streamlined this way. And you won't drown in the rain. 1.2235 0.05391 85 69 13 3
6780 Yeah, it's the new look. Plus, I can run faster now... 1.2235 0.05645 85 70 11 4
6781 Guess my vet's more of a "glass half full" type. 1.2235 0.05125 85 68 15 2
6782 And the salesman said that with this slip-stream version I will be the 1st dog to actually catch the car. 1.2235 0.05888 85 71 9 5
6783 Improving Wifi? No, better: pizza bits retrieval from couch. 1.2235 0.04844 85 67 17 1
6784 'you'll get used to it". "you'll thank me for this" "it hurts me more than it hurts you" I got tired of hearing that crap so I ran through my door and poof! 1.2235 0.05125 85 68 15 2
6785 I have the new collar. Elizabethan is so yesterday 1.2235 0.05645 85 70 11 4
6786 It’ more aerodynamic for chasing cars. 1.2235 0.05645 85 70 11 4
6787 It’s the K-95 Summer 2021 collection 1.2235 0.05125 85 68 15 2
6788 ‘ it’s called aerodynamics Dino look it up. ‘ 1.2235 0.05391 85 69 13 3
6789 It's a conspiracy, Eddie. 1.2235 0.05391 85 69 13 3
6790 I think your shirt’s on backwards 1.2235 0.05391 85 69 13 3
6791 It's called fashion, honey. 1.2235 0.05391 85 69 13 3
6792 It’s cooler to wear it backwards 1.2234 0.04820 94 75 17 2
6793 I've always been a rebel. 1.2234 0.05273 94 77 13 4
6794 I was starving. What’s your excuse? 1.2234 0.04820 94 75 17 2
6795 For an instant couture update, just force yourself through that dog door and voila! 1.2234 0.05273 94 77 13 4
6796 Not tonite dear 1.2234 0.05052 94 76 15 3
6797 I think it accentuates my butt this way. 1.2234 0.04820 94 75 17 2
6798 So, you're not gonna believe this, but the vet asked do you want an innie or outie. 1.2234 0.05052 94 76 15 3
6799 It can also be a shirt depending on how you style it 1.2234 0.05273 94 77 13 4
6800 I’m faster this way 1.2233 0.04766 103 83 17 3
6801 This only works in theory. 1.2222 0.05188 90 73 14 3
6802 I am filing for divorce on the grounds of incompatibility. 1.2222 0.05556 81 66 12 3
6803 Everything I hear just bounces off me. 1.2222 0.05423 90 74 12 4
6804 So you are the insider everyone is barking about? 1.2222 0.05270 81 65 14 2
6805 I don't bite but I'm a mad licker. 1.2222 0.05423 90 74 12 4
6806 It's done wonders for my posture. 1.2222 0.04941 90 72 16 2
6807 You lick mine, and I’ll lick yours. 1.2222 0.06324 72 60 8 4
6808 I got the 2nd vaccine this morning. 1.2222 0.06626 72 61 6 5
6809 I'll be showing this look at the Westminster Dog Show." 1.2222 0.05556 81 66 12 3
6810 I know its on backwards. But it still has the same affect because when the gals see me they run off 1.2222 0.04941 90 72 16 2
6811 'Sup, Bro? 1.2222 0.04969 81 64 16 1
6812 Oh, your style is so passé. This is all the rave now. 1.2222 0.05672 72 58 12 2
6813 You see... this way it is more comfortable! 1.2222 0.05188 90 73 14 3
6814 Told her I'm left-handed. 1.2222 0.05270 81 65 14 2
6815 From zero to hero. 1.2222 0.05556 81 66 12 3
6816 Nice introvert collar, I find the extrovert collar better for mingling. 1.2222 0.05188 90 73 14 3
6817 Therefore the volume is ⅓ π(R²H-r²h). 1.2222 0.05423 90 74 12 4
6818 It looks like your master wins the intelligence prize 1.2222 0.04969 81 67 12 2
6819 I’m a Puritan-bred. 1.2222 0.06954 63 53 6 4
6820 If you wear it this way, it's a fashion statement. 1.2222 0.05316 72 57 14 1
6821 You’re sending the wrong message! 1.2222 0.05316 72 57 14 1
6822 All the same benefits,minus surround sound. 1.2222 0.04969 81 64 16 1
6823 It would be easier to put your mask on. 1.2222 0.05423 90 74 12 4
6824 I flipped! 1.2222 0.05128 72 59 11 2
6825 It's much more aerodynamic this way. 1.2222 0.04682 90 71 18 1
6826 Mine was blocking a manhole. Where’d you get yours? 1.2222 0.05556 81 66 12 3
6827 Don't think of it as the Cone of Shame, but as the Collar of Fame. 1.2222 0.05316 72 57 14 1
6828 Steampunk! 1.2222 0.05316 72 57 14 1
6829 They told me this way would be better for swimming. 1.2222 0.05827 81 67 10 4
6830 You say tomatoes, and I say tomahtoes. 1.2222 0.05270 81 65 14 2
6831 Let me tell you about a little something called aerodynamics. 1.2222 0.06626 72 61 6 5
6832 Great seeing you ma petite palindrome. 1.2222 0.06007 72 59 10 3
6833 This lowers my coefficient of dog. 1.2222 0.04682 90 71 18 1
6834 It’s supposed to be fashion forward. 1.2222 0.05744 63 50 12 1
6835 Well, they say opposites attract! 1.2222 0.05556 81 66 12 3
6836 Humans. Either way it seems to work! 1.2222 0.06174 63 51 10 2
6837 No, I already did the catching workshop, I'm now doing the chasing men on bikes module 1.2222 0.05556 81 66 12 3
6838 Mine’s heated. 1.2222 0.05827 81 67 10 4
6839 Yeah, pretty good thanks. Yourself? 1.2222 0.05556 81 66 12 3
6840 It only feels restrictive because we've been wearing them backwards all this time! 1.2222 0.05672 72 58 12 2
6841 It's couture. 1.2222 0.05672 72 58 12 2
6842 After seminary, they just turn around and you're a priest! It's also much easier to chase aardvarks now. Also, when I jump out of windows my fall is slowed. Dave and Judy, my humans, are big sinners, by the way. I think I will punish their furniture. 1.2222 0.06007 72 59 10 3
6843 Dr. KellyAnne calls it an ‘Alternative’ Cone of Shame. 1.2222 0.06007 72 59 10 3
6844 I project rather than amplify! 1.2222 0.04941 90 72 16 2
6845 Fast fashion has arrived baby! 1.2222 0.05672 72 58 12 2
6846 In a race I will beat you every time! I’m aerodynamic! 1.2222 0.05556 81 66 12 3
6847 And then I said I can't hear you... 1.2222 0.05672 72 58 12 2
6848 You put your head in the wrong way Corrigan! 1.2222 0.04682 90 71 18 1
6849 Sugar or waffle? 1.2222 0.06576 63 52 8 3
6850 Just reinterpret it. 1.2222 0.04969 81 64 16 1
6851 You got blindsided. Guess you did not see that coming. 1.2222 0.05672 72 58 12 2
6852 Fashion isn’t about the safety cone you wear, it’s how you wear it. 1.2222 0.05556 81 66 12 3
6853 Well,at least you can stand on your head. 1.2222 0.04941 90 72 16 2
6854 Luckily, my veterinarian is dyslexic, 1.2222 0.05556 81 66 12 3
6855 Hah, hah, I can squeeze through the door where she stores the kibble. 1.2222 0.04969 81 64 16 1
6856 That’s so ‘80s 1.2222 0.06174 63 51 10 2
6857 Is the turned up collar making a comeback? I thought the turned up collar went out of fashion a long time ago? 1.2222 0.05188 90 73 14 3
6858 Mine gets cable. 1.2222 0.05188 90 73 14 3
6859 Dude-that’s so old school! 1.2222 0.05827 81 67 10 4
6860 When you stand on your head, anything can happen! 1.2222 0.05188 90 73 14 3
6861 All you need is a walk and a stiff breeze... 1.2222 0.05188 90 73 14 3
6862 Reversal of fortunes 1.2222 0.05270 81 65 14 2
6863 My instructions were in French 1.2222 0.05556 81 66 12 3
6864 I keep tripping over Step 6, "ready to have Dog remove these defects of character." Because I kinda like 'em. 1.2222 0.05827 81 67 10 4
6865 Can you do anything right Billy!! 1.2222 0.04941 90 72 16 2
6866 Another fashion statement Fred? 1.2222 0.06007 72 59 10 3
6867 The aerodynamics has really increased my squirrel capture rate. 1.2222 0.05556 81 66 12 3
6868 I'm going for a more aerodynamic look. 1.2222 0.06954 63 53 6 4
6869 Get me to a nunnery 1.2222 0.05672 72 58 12 2
6870 Check out this new hack I learned on TikTok 1.2222 0.05556 81 66 12 3
6871 Collars become fashionable. 1.2222 0.06576 63 52 8 3
6872 Do you dress to the left or the right? s 1.2222 0.05270 81 65 14 2
6873 Trust me bro...it feels way better this way. 1.2222 0.05672 72 58 12 2
6874 It isn't supposed to cover your nose. Haven't you seen them? 1.2222 0.04969 81 64 16 1
6875 You gotta think inward sometimes. 1.2222 0.05270 81 65 14 2
6876 I left my comfort zone 1.2222 0.06007 72 59 10 3
6877 It’s just so much easier to lick my stitches this way. 1.2222 0.05316 72 57 14 1
6878 Nothing can save me from myself 1.2222 0.05188 90 73 14 3
6879 I see you went with grey, as well. 1.2222 0.05827 81 67 10 4
6880 You generally look less uncomfortable than I do. 1.2222 0.05316 72 57 14 1
6881 the wound is festering so my doc is protecting me from the smell. 1.2222 0.05556 81 66 12 3
6882 When you’re trying to social distance, and your friend reassures you how “safe” they’re being 1.2222 0.04941 90 72 16 2
6883 My old poodle skirt. 1.2222 0.05556 81 66 12 3
6884 Yeah, so, doc said my neck is too long. 1.2222 0.05423 90 74 12 4
6885 It's supposed to go OVER the nose 1.2222 0.05672 72 58 12 2
6886 It’s the „European Fit“ 1.2222 0.05672 72 58 12 2
6887 My owner's a non-conformist 1.2222 0.05672 72 58 12 2
6888 The good news is they let you keep the cone when you’re done! 1.2222 0.05188 90 73 14 3
6889 No, I'm just the life of the party. 1.2211 0.04775 95 76 17 2
6890 I got the cone of fame! 1.2211 0.05004 95 77 15 3
6891 Another disruptive innovation! Welcome to 2021! 1.2211 0.05433 95 79 11 5
6892 It's not cultural appropriation if it's backwards 1.2211 0.04775 95 76 17 2
6893 You have to be willing to stick your neck out. 1.2209 0.04794 86 68 17 1
6894 Aren’t you worried about carbon dioxide poisoning!? 1.2209 0.05585 86 71 11 4
6895 I dance to the beat of my own drum, ya know! 1.2209 0.05072 86 69 15 2
6896 Cheer up. It's mostly a matter of perspective. 1.2209 0.05585 86 71 11 4
6897 How did you guess that I 'm a Sagittarius? 1.2209 0.04794 86 68 17 1
6898 Sometimes having backward owners really pays off! 1.2209 0.05335 86 70 13 3
6899 Mine works just as well as yours but with a lot less wind resistance. 1.2209 0.05825 86 72 9 5
6900 Mine's the cone of lame. 1.2209 0.05072 86 69 15 2
6901 Its the new thing after masks 1.2209 0.05335 86 70 13 3
6902 Mine's real. I saw the light! 1.2209 0.05335 86 70 13 3
6903 Yeah, I know. I convinced my owner that it just looked better this way. 1.2209 0.05072 86 69 15 2
6904 Is that a Boomer thing? 1.2209 0.05072 86 69 15 2
6905 Mine guarantees no change in lifestyle. 1.2209 0.05585 86 71 11 4
6906 So I take it, you can't lick your self inflicted wounds; why don't you ask the Republican crowd, they may have an answer! 1.2209 0.05585 86 71 11 4
6907 It's a RRuff collar....A sartorial throwback to Queen Elizabeth, if you really want to know. 1.2209 0.05585 86 71 11 4
6908 It's a metaphor for life. You either look like a table lamp or you pick up signals from distant galaxies. 1.2209 0.05072 86 69 15 2
6909 I myself prefer the Dutch Baroque collar. 1.2209 0.04794 86 68 17 1
6910 Republican, I guess? 1.2209 0.05825 86 72 9 5
6911 Nice hat bro!" "Nice scarf, bro! 1.2209 0.05335 86 70 13 3
6912 It may look Puritanical, but it doesn't mess up my Bluetooth connection. 1.2209 0.05335 86 70 13 3
6913 Thank goodness my way I can still sniff butts. 1.2209 0.05072 86 69 15 2
6914 Cone of Shame or Collar of Fame? 1.2209 0.05335 86 70 13 3
6915 I am your future you. Listen! Don’t mess with the postman today! It’s the wrong day. Just... don’t! 1.2209 0.05585 86 71 11 4
6916 Just trying a new look for the new year! 1.2209 0.04794 86 68 17 1
6917 They just said I had to wear one, the styling is up to my interpretation 1.2209 0.05585 86 71 11 4
6918 I was going for Plimoth Plantation. 1.2209 0.04794 86 68 17 1
6919 They said to bring your creativity 1.2209 0.05585 86 71 11 4
6920 I wanted to show solidarity, but still be able to lick myself. 1.2208 0.05735 77 63 11 3
6921 Yes, it's totally Elizabethan. Ruff! 1.2208 0.05735 77 63 11 3
6922 You know your wearing your mask wrong. 1.2208 0.06026 77 64 9 4
6923 Dr. Pavlov actually WANTS me to lick, scratch and bite it as long as he can watch and take notes. 1.2208 0.05429 77 62 13 2
6924 I failed my analytic geometry course. 1.2208 0.04758 77 60 17 0
6925 My vet is a naturopath. 1.2208 0.05104 77 61 15 1
6926 At least you get ESPN 1.2208 0.05429 77 62 13 2
6927 The aerodynamics make it much more efficient 1.2208 0.05429 77 62 13 2
6928 I got dressed in the dark. Miriam S. of Pacifica, CA 1.2208 0.05429 77 62 13 2
6929 Turn it inside out and you can wear it again before washing it! 1.2208 0.05104 77 61 15 1
6930 Next, I’ll improve ketchup. 1.2208 0.05104 77 61 15 1
6931 You should see what I make them do with my leash. 1.2208 0.05735 77 63 11 3
6932 Deal. You rip out my stitches, and I'll rip out yours. 1.2208 0.05429 77 62 13 2
6933 Form over function, brotha’! 1.2208 0.04758 77 60 17 0
6934 I got tired of backing in through the doggy door. 1.2208 0.05104 77 61 15 1
6935 These things may prevent us from sniffing our own butt, however, I would be more than happy to sniff yours. 1.2208 0.06568 77 66 5 6
6936 I march to a different drummer. 1.2208 0.04758 77 60 17 0
6937 You've got to run faster 1.2208 0.05735 77 63 11 3
6938 How do ya like it? It's the new aerodynamic model. 1.2208 0.05735 77 63 11 3
6939 That is sooo pre-research. 1.2208 0.06303 77 65 7 5
6940 Gesundheit, clearly it was far too early to stop using masks. 1.2208 0.06026 77 64 9 4
6941 It was something they saw on TikTok. 1.2208 0.06026 77 64 9 4
6942 the grass is always greener 1.2208 0.05429 77 62 13 2
6943 Tough break, you're an outie." 1.2208 0.05735 77 63 11 3
6944 Instead of the cone of shame, I opted for the cone of fame. 1.2208 0.05735 77 63 11 3
6945 ‘Enchanté’ 1.2208 0.05429 77 62 13 2
6946 Did you not hear popped collars went out of style? 1.2208 0.05735 77 63 11 3
6947 Trust me, getting over one’s shame just takes some outside the cone thinking 1.2208 0.05429 77 62 13 2
6948 Got mine from an Instagram ad, why? 1.2208 0.05735 77 63 11 3
6949 We've been deceived all this time, trust me, this is the right way to wear it 1.2208 0.05735 77 63 11 3
6950 I'm all about this non-conformity is the new conformity thing. 1.2206 0.06231 68 56 9 3
6951 My human isn’t that smart, which makes me love him more. 1.2206 0.06231 68 56 9 3
6952 You’re a Democrat; I’m Republican: What say we forget our differences; I’ll scratch your ears if you scratch mine. 1.2206 0.05869 68 55 11 2
6953 Haven't gotten the vaccine yet, huh? 1.2206 0.05869 68 55 11 2
6954 opposites attract baby 1.2206 0.06231 68 56 9 3
6955 My vet has an intern. 1.2206 0.05869 68 55 11 2
6956 Sure, the acoustics are better your way but you’d be more aerodynamic if you wore it my way. 1.2206 0.05869 68 55 11 2
6957 I'm trending! #dogsincones 1.2206 0.05869 68 55 11 2
6958 Just watch the humans: Covering your nose is optional. 1.2206 0.06231 68 56 9 3
6959 You see, my problem is that I can’t have my butt licking my face. 1.2206 0.06231 68 56 9 3
6960 Ok, on the count of three, let's run at each other really fast. 1.2206 0.05869 68 55 11 2
6961 It’s easy. The Houdini hound showed me the trick. 1.2206 0.05482 68 54 13 1
6962 Well, neither of us can read the instruction manual. 1.2206 0.05869 68 55 11 2
6963 Oh, lovely! Was yours a Simon Pearce? 1.2206 0.05482 68 54 13 1
6964 I’m on a non drooling diet 1.2206 0.06574 68 57 7 4
6965 Decided to upgrade to the sport model 1.2206 0.05482 68 54 13 1
6966 Much more slimming this way. Really accentuates the figure. 1.2203 0.05442 59 46 13 0
6967 We’ve been wearing it wrong this whole time! 1.2203 0.06427 59 48 9 2
6968 My owner is a contrarian. 1.2200 0.04623 100 82 15 3
6969 To paraphrase Thomas Paine, "These are the times that try dog's souls." 1.2200 0.05041 100 82 14 4
6970 It’s just as effective this way, but a lot more comfortable. 1.2198 0.05369 91 75 12 4
6971 MY people are non-conformists! 1.2198 0.05016 91 76 11 4
6972 It happened when I went through the cat’s door at full speed, and they havent’t noticed.. It’s so much better! Why don’t you try it.. pass it on. 1.2198 0.05591 91 76 10 5
6973 I told them I was from the Southern Hemisphere where everything is reversed. 1.2198 0.04893 91 73 16 2
6974 I just told them I was dyslexic! 1.2198 0.05591 91 76 10 5
6975 Two words; well, for you, four, no echo. 1.2198 0.05369 91 75 12 4
6976 My owner has always been about style over substance. 1.2198 0.05136 91 74 14 3
6977 Just flip it around. 1.2198 0.04893 91 73 16 2
6978 It's a pit bull lives matter thing. 1.2198 0.05369 91 75 12 4
6979 How could my host know; she is only an intermediate! 1.2198 0.04893 91 73 16 2
6980 I DONT KNOW, YOUR LOOKS MORE HANDMAIDS' TALE BUT MINE IS MORE SHAKESPEARIAN 1.2198 0.05806 91 77 8 6
6981 Mine’s a little less ‘handmaid’s tail. 1.2198 0.05591 91 76 10 5
6982 See, turning into the wind doesn’t help either. 1.2198 0.05136 91 74 14 3
6983 The glass is half full 1.2198 0.05136 91 74 14 3
6984 If my fashion style has made me a social media influencer, the so be it. 1.2195 0.04916 82 65 16 1
6985 My Wi-Fi connection is much better now. 1.2195 0.05213 82 66 14 2
6986 Bad luck. I got taken to a Super Bowl party. 1.2195 0.06017 82 69 8 5
6987 You've got an outie. I have an innie. 1.2195 0.05762 82 68 10 4
6988 work smarter,not harder. 1.2195 0.05213 82 66 14 2
6989 It reduces your carbon paw print. 1.2195 0.05494 82 67 12 3
6990 Is this what's meant as conscious uncoupling? I'm confused. 1.2195 0.04599 82 64 18 0
6991 I guess that it's not about you 1.2195 0.04599 82 64 18 0
6992 Soo... how was your trip on the Mayflower? 1.2195 0.05213 82 66 14 2
6993 This works better when I stick my head out the car window. 1.2195 0.05494 82 67 12 3
6994 Yikes, that looks ruff. 1.2195 0.05213 82 66 14 2
6995 Awwww did you eat thru your doggie dish again?? 1.2195 0.05213 82 66 14 2
6996 I know the Republicans are ass-backward, but this is ridiculous. 1.2195 0.05213 82 68 11 3
6997 It’s called fashion. Google it. 1.2195 0.05494 82 67 12 3
6998 You'll be shocked to learn my owner refuses to wear a mask. 1.2195 0.05494 82 67 12 3
6999 Either way, it's obvious they don't want us to see, smell or eat something. What's it all mean, Pavlov? 1.2195 0.05213 82 66 14 2
7000 Is this what they were talking about when they were trying to teach me the facts of life? 1.2195 0.05213 82 66 14 2
7001 Fashion is a passion of mine 1.2195 0.05213 82 66 14 2
7002 I'm sure glad the vet that put this on me was drunk that day 1.2195 0.05494 82 67 12 3
7003 This is a free country! I can wear my cone however I want! 1.2195 0.05762 82 68 10 4
7004 Trust me there’s still nothing to see but sweats and beards. 1.2195 0.05213 82 66 14 2
7005 You wear the mask like you wear that cone? 1.2195 0.04916 82 65 16 1
7006 I always thought you looked better with a hat. 1.2195 0.04916 82 65 16 1
7007 Youre a male. You. don’t have listening skills. Get it. 1.2195 0.05213 82 66 14 2
7008 My anti-mask owner says it's 'Malicious Compliance' 1.2195 0.05213 82 66 14 2
7009 Your vet seriously needs to Google the origin and proper placement of the Elizabethan collar. 1.2195 0.05762 82 68 10 4
7010 My owner is a conceptual artist. 1.2195 0.05213 82 66 14 2
7011 It's in remission. 1.2195 0.04916 82 65 16 1
7012 There was no need to bark THAT loud. 1.2195 0.05213 82 66 14 2
7013 I just think it looks way better inside out, Dad... 1.2195 0.06017 82 69 8 5
7014 Just reverse it like I did - then you can still bite your leg! 1.2195 0.05494 82 67 12 3
7015 Buddy, I think you’ve got it on backwards. 1.2195 0.05213 82 66 14 2
7016 I couldn’t stand the sound of my own bark. 1.2195 0.05213 82 66 14 2
7017 It’s supposed to go the other way Larry 1.2195 0.05494 82 67 12 3
7018 yin or yan ? 1.2195 0.05494 82 67 12 3
7019 No, genius, YOURS is on backwards. 1.2192 0.06244 73 61 8 4
7020 Elizabethan collars are so last year! 1.2192 0.04875 73 57 16 0
7021 Of course, that's only when I'm facing west. 1.2192 0.05932 73 60 10 3
7022 I saw a guy turn his hat backwards. 1.2192 0.05932 73 60 10 3
7023 The universe is telling us we belong together. 1.2192 0.04875 73 57 16 0
7024 Jeez. That's so "Handmaid's Tale". 1.2192 0.06244 73 61 8 4
7025 I printed one of those exemption cards. 1.2192 0.05602 73 59 12 2
7026 I learned how to think outside the cone! 1.2192 0.05932 73 60 10 3
7027 Yeah, I know...they operated on the wrong leg too. 1.2192 0.05932 73 60 10 3
7028 The man says a lot of things. Don't make him right. 1.2192 0.05602 73 59 12 2
7029 Mine is the "cone of fame" ! 1.2192 0.05251 73 58 14 1
7030 Mine didn’t get the concept, and I didn’t tell them... 1.2192 0.05251 73 58 14 1
7031 I got caught in that windstorm last week. 1.2192 0.06244 73 61 8 4
7032 The satellite TV look is passe’. The girls are panting for the sleek look now. 1.2192 0.05602 73 59 12 2
7033 Life is good! I would see it all around me! Can you? 1.2192 0.04875 73 57 16 0
7034 G'day Mate! I'm an Australian Cattle dog. 1.2192 0.05602 73 59 12 2
7035 You say ‘potato’... 1.2192 0.06244 73 61 8 4
7036 This is so last season 1.2192 0.05932 73 60 10 3
7037 Marty, I’ve come to tell you something from the future! 1.2192 0.05932 73 60 10 3
7038 A stiff wind and a positive attitude and you're all set! 1.2192 0.05602 73 59 12 2
7039 It’s so my tail won’t bite me... 1.2192 0.05251 73 58 14 1
7040 Don't you know anything about the latest fashion trends? 1.2192 0.05932 73 60 10 3
7041 Now let’s kiss please ❤️ 1.2192 0.05251 73 58 14 1
7042 You see, this way I build up my body confidence because I can’t see my belly anymore 1.2192 0.05251 73 58 14 1
7043 I’ve learned how to put my shame behind me. 1.2190 0.05060 105 87 13 5
7044 This way, you can run faster... 1.2188 0.05665 64 51 12 1
7045 Yeah, my owner is a rookie. 1.2188 0.05173 96 79 13 4
7046 I'll nip and bite you anywhere you want for a dollar! 1.2188 0.06087 64 52 10 2
7047 My mistress is very avant-garde. 1.2188 0.06087 64 52 10 2
7048 I already got my first shot 1.2188 0.06481 64 53 8 3
7049 But you're wearing your canine social distancing cone backwards. 1.2188 0.06481 64 53 8 3
7050 Life's hard enough, you know? 1.2188 0.05665 64 51 12 1
7051 My philosophy is...Go with the flow. 1.2188 0.05173 96 79 13 4
7052 Bless you my son. 1.2188 0.05381 96 80 11 5
7053 Dude adjust your collar, we are getting late for the party! 1.2188 0.04730 96 77 17 2
7054 Wait, does this make me male or female? 1.2188 0.04492 96 76 19 1
7055 One of us has to change. 1.2188 0.04492 96 76 19 1
7056 ... and I dunno, it just sorta stuck. 1.2188 0.05441 64 53 9 2
7057 It’s my ‘Friday Business Casual’ look 1.2188 0.06481 64 53 8 3
7058 It's called the place-bow effect 1.2188 0.06481 64 53 8 3
7059 I think my vet is dyslexic!!! Or is it yours??? 1.2184 0.05279 87 71 13 3
7060 Hi, I am Tucker. 1.2184 0.05279 87 71 13 3
7061 Your outfit is too "The Handman's Tale" 1.2184 0.04746 87 69 17 1
7062 Try my vet, she's dyslexic. 1.2184 0.05526 87 72 11 4
7063 Just got my booster cone. 1.2184 0.05019 87 70 15 2
7064 It's less about discouraging my bad behaviors but more about encouraging my my bitchin' fashion sense. 1.2184 0.04455 87 70 16 1
7065 Me. In a parallel universe. 1.2184 0.05763 87 73 9 5
7066 I think you’ll find concave is last season’s look. 1.2184 0.04455 87 68 19 0
7067 Someone told me that opposites attract. 1.2184 0.05763 87 73 9 5
7068 I'm calling it "Avant Guard." 1.2184 0.05279 87 71 13 3
7069 i hear you can get things pretty cheap at the flea market 1.2184 0.05019 87 70 15 2
7070 It was annoying at first, but if you turn it around it is a fashion statement. 1.2184 0.05279 87 71 13 3
7071 QAnon has really taught me to see things differently! 1.2184 0.04746 87 69 17 1
7072 Say, you're an innie and I'm an outie. What do you think that means? 1.2184 0.05279 87 71 13 3
7073 Strangely,it works well this way too. 1.2184 0.05279 87 71 13 3
7074 Why not? Backwards baseball caps are trendy with humans. 1.2184 0.05279 87 71 13 3
7075 How embarrassing it was for Jake when he realized he was wearing it backwards 1.2184 0.05763 87 73 9 5
7076 Its the latest fashion for senior dogs. 1.2184 0.05526 87 72 11 4
7077 I paid the vet extra for an outtie. 1.2184 0.05019 87 70 15 2
7078 Nobody wears them like that anymore... 1.2184 0.05279 87 71 13 3
7079 If you're digging this cone trend, wait'll you see the 'Pope Hat'! 1.2184 0.05526 87 72 11 4
7080 Sorry bro, but there's no way the popped collar is coming back. 1.2184 0.04455 87 68 19 0
7081 My human is a surrealist artist.. 1.2184 0.05526 87 72 11 4
7082 I'm going counterculture. 1.2184 0.04746 87 69 17 1
7083 Steve, did you read the instructions upside down? 1.2184 0.05019 87 70 15 2
7084 I saw it on TikTok! Turns out we've been doing it wrong all these years. 1.2184 0.05279 87 71 13 3
7085 It was all fun and games until this! 1.2179 0.04705 78 61 17 0
7086 Fashion is fickle. 1.2179 0.05366 78 63 13 2
7087 When they said '70s theme', I don't think they meant 1570s. 1.2179 0.05668 78 64 11 3
7088 I can help you out. 1.2179 0.05668 78 64 11 3
7089 I'm an extrovert. 1.2179 0.05954 78 65 9 4
7090 O. K. for you, but my bite's always got to be worse than my bark. 1.2179 0.05954 78 65 9 4
7091 Cone of shame? I say cone of flame...it really sets off your outfit 1.2179 0.05366 78 63 13 2
7092 It's the way all the 'hip' teens are wearing it now. 1.2179 0.06228 78 66 7 5
7093 I saw this on the cover of Vogue... 1.2179 0.05046 78 62 15 1
7094 It's your karma, man. 1.2179 0.05366 78 63 13 2
7095 My vet likes unorthodox methods 1.2179 0.05668 78 64 11 3
7096 When I chase squirrels it gives me an edge. 1.2179 0.05046 78 62 15 1
7097 You say, you backed up to the fan to cool your butt ? 1.2179 0.05668 78 64 11 3
7098 My mistress is dyslexic. 1.2179 0.05668 78 64 11 3
7099 I told you to try Preparation H!!!! 1.2179 0.05668 78 64 11 3
7100 One of us has a pretty stupid master 1.2179 0.05366 78 63 13 2
7101 Oh .. the inverted cone ...that is so last year ... 1.2179 0.05366 78 63 13 2
7102 Well, isn't this an odd "cone-incidence. 1.2179 0.05668 78 64 11 3
7103 I find it helps with introductions 1.2179 0.05668 78 64 11 3
7104 How do you get that little piece of food out? 1.2179 0.05366 78 63 13 2
7105 I still can't get hear you. 1.2179 0.05046 78 62 15 1
7106 They're also anti-vaxxers. 1.2179 0.05668 78 64 11 3
7107 Well then, it appears that we can help each other out. 1.2179 0.05366 78 63 13 2
7108 The weatherman said it was an F-1 but I'm thinkin' more like an F-3. 1.2179 0.05046 78 62 15 1
7109 Just convert! It's much easier to wear as a Roman collar. 1.2179 0.05046 78 62 15 1
7110 I prefer a sleeker more stylish look. 1.2179 0.05668 78 64 11 3
7111 You're outgoing, I'm incoming. 1.2179 0.05046 78 62 15 1
7112 If we touch our tails, we will have herd immunity. 1.2179 0.05668 78 64 11 3
7113 I believe he was inebriated. 1.2179 0.05046 78 62 15 1
7114 "I got my shots, but I want to show solidarity with those that haven't.' 1.2179 0.05668 78 64 11 3
7115 To sport the latest style just run through the dog door. 1.2179 0.05954 78 65 9 4
7116 That's how Kim K wears it 1.2179 0.05668 78 64 11 3
7117 This is exactly why I avoid grad school reunions 1.2179 0.05954 78 65 9 4
7118 Cone of Lame. 1.2179 0.05668 78 64 11 3
7119 Are 80s fashions back in again? 1.2179 0.05668 78 64 11 3
7120 No lead .. no endless COVID walks. 1.2178 0.04794 101 82 16 3
7121 One of us is dyslexic. 1.2178 0.04794 101 82 16 3
7122 I think you have the tailwind. 1.2178 0.04582 101 81 18 2
7123 My vet just got his license to practice. 1.2174 0.05086 92 75 14 3
7124 I’m just covering up my neck tattoo. 1.2174 0.05411 69 55 13 1
7125 Ain't no shame in my game. 1.2174 0.05411 69 55 13 1
7126 I've told you time and again, it's not healthy to live in an echo chamber. 1.2174 0.06149 69 57 9 3
7127 No I'm not going to 'put on my mask correctly' 1.2174 0.05315 92 76 12 4
7128 I think my owner bought my collar in discount section of Petco. 1.2174 0.05792 69 56 11 2
7129 It's purely fashion 1.2174 0.04592 92 73 18 1
7130 Let's subvert the will of the people. 1.2174 0.05315 92 76 12 4
7131 No wind resistance, increased speed on the bike paths -- it's amazing, ya gotta try it!! 1.2174 0.05315 92 76 12 4
7132 I’ll scratch your back if you— Forget it—just rip this thing off of me and I’ll take care of yours. 1.2174 0.05086 92 75 14 3
7133 The vet said it would make my bark louder, but I think it just makes me look silly. 1.2174 0.04845 92 74 16 2
7134 Hmm....I take it the wind is really bad outside. 1.2174 0.05086 92 75 14 3
7135 It's called the ICollar. Costs $799. 1.2174 0.05086 92 75 14 3
7136 Looks like you had a "ruff" day! 1.2174 0.04845 92 74 16 2
7137 Try this with your head out the window. 1.2174 0.05792 69 56 11 2
7138 There's less resistance 1.2174 0.05792 69 56 11 2
7139 Topology says we are the same, and yet... 1.2174 0.05411 69 55 13 1
7140 I'm a dinosaur. 1.2174 0.06149 69 57 9 3
7141 Brighten up, at least you look like a lamp 1.2174 0.05002 69 54 15 0
7142 Personally, I don't mind it. 1.2174 0.05792 69 56 11 2
7143 Darling, simply no one is wearing them that way anymore. 1.2174 0.04592 92 73 18 1
7144 I just woke up like this man." 1.2174 0.05792 69 56 11 2
7145 Now you can have access to surrounded sound experience. 1.2174 0.04324 92 72 20 0
7146 for the cat door 1.2174 0.05002 69 54 15 0
7147 You must be Yang 1.2174 0.06149 69 57 9 3
7148 mask on, mask off 1.2174 0.05315 92 76 12 4
7149 This is called reverse cancel culture. 1.2174 0.05411 69 55 13 1
7150 They said wear the cone, they didn't say I had to wear it properly 1.2174 0.04845 92 74 16 2
7151 Turn that thing around. You're embarrassing yourself. This is how they wear it in France." 1.2170 0.05193 106 89 11 6
7152 I'm wearing a recycled plastic Purrsace. What about you? 1.2169 0.04863 83 68 13 2
7153 I’ll lick your butt if you’ll lick mine. 1.2169 0.05950 83 70 8 5
7154 It's the TikTok challenge. 1.2169 0.05156 83 67 14 2
7155 I bought the reversible, but it's the same gray color! 1.2169 0.05434 83 68 12 3
7156 It’s all about what you do with it. 1.2169 0.05698 83 69 10 4
7157 They think this way makes me look faster. 1.2169 0.05156 83 67 14 2
7158 I’m in recovery 1.2169 0.05434 83 68 12 3
7159 You've got your tinfoil cone on wrong. 1.2169 0.04863 83 66 16 1
7160 Sister Mary put mine on backward. 1.2169 0.05698 83 69 10 4
7161 They don't know that I can walk backward. 1.2169 0.05698 83 69 10 4
7162 Better for wind resistance. 1.2169 0.05434 83 68 12 3
7163 It's a better look, and more aerodynamic. 1.2169 0.05698 83 69 10 4
7164 You're echoing again! 1.2169 0.05434 83 68 12 3
7165 The 5-year-old I live with, whose shoes are always on the wrong feet, put this on for me. 1.2169 0.05156 83 67 14 2
7166 Yes my mom said we were going for tutoring. 1.2169 0.05156 83 67 14 2
7167 It’s haute couture. Looks good but trust me, nothing’s accessible. 1.2169 0.05434 83 68 12 3
7168 I was going for the streamlined look. 1.2169 0.05434 83 68 12 3
7169 I thought you were jewish 1.2169 0.05156 83 67 14 2
7170 Do you want to race? 1.2169 0.05156 83 67 14 2
7171 I shopped my closet. 1.2169 0.05434 83 68 12 3
7172 Any news from The Mars Rover? 1.2169 0.05950 83 70 8 5
7173 No wonder you look sad. You’re wearing it the wrong way, dude 1.2169 0.05156 83 67 14 2
7174 Fashion Victim 1.2169 0.05156 83 67 14 2
7175 I think it looks better this way. Don’t you? 1.2169 0.05156 83 67 14 2
7176 I didn’t know popped collars were back in! 1.2169 0.05156 83 67 14 2
7177 I’m so convexed by you. 1.2169 0.05698 83 69 10 4
7178 It’s inverted...and literally no one can explain it 1.2169 0.05698 83 69 10 4
7179 I can't hear you if I put it on the other way 1.2169 0.05156 83 67 14 2
7180 Oh no, this is not a pet cone. I'm the lead in my mistress' Shakespeare in the Park performance. 1.2167 0.06330 60 49 9 2
7181 If you’re going to party in a lampshade, try not to look like a dork. 1.2167 0.06761 60 50 7 3
7182 Why do you always have to be on the opposition? Your attitude is wearing out... 1.2167 0.05867 60 48 11 1
7183 My way makes it easier to sniff butts. 1.2165 0.05124 97 80 13 4
7184 I can sniff your butt much easier this way 1.2165 0.04687 97 78 17 2
7185 Kiss me, darling! We were made for each other. 1.2165 0.04910 97 79 15 3
7186 As far back as I can remember, I always wanted to be a gangster." 1.2162 0.05533 74 60 12 2
7187 'I'll race you to that fire hydrant" 1.2162 0.05533 74 60 12 2
7188 It's still really annoying but I'm a lot faster now. 1.2162 0.05533 74 60 12 2
7189 I like your style! 1.2162 0.05858 74 61 10 3
7190 With this design I can lick my balls and wear a lampshade. 1.2162 0.05858 74 63 7 4
7191 You have your collar on backwards. 1.2162 0.05858 74 61 10 3
7192 There’s nothing wrong with me. They’re making me into a table lamp. 1.2162 0.06166 74 62 8 4
7193 Oh yeah, this is the blowback I got when I chewed the couch. 1.2162 0.05858 74 61 10 3
7194 You're an outie. I'm an inie. 1.2162 0.05858 74 61 10 3
7195 I bet they told you Christmas is in winter and water drains clockwise, too. 1.2162 0.05188 74 59 14 1
7196 To Be or Not to Be 1.2162 0.05858 74 61 10 3
7197 I think you’re wearing it wrong. 1.2162 0.05533 74 60 12 2
7198 I'll lick you if you lick me. 1.2162 0.05533 74 60 12 2
7199 We both can't wear the same thing to the party. You go home and change! 1.2162 0.05188 74 59 14 1
7200 Can you scratch my back? 1.2162 0.05188 74 59 14 1
7201 My owenr's dyslexic. I tried to tell him, but what can you do? 1.2162 0.05188 74 59 14 1
7202 I suppose you're right- my conical is not really canonical 1.2162 0.05858 74 61 10 3
7203 I just figured what's the point of social distancing if you can't sniff your own butt every so often. 1.2162 0.06460 74 63 6 5
7204 It’s not as good as it looks. It still gets in the way and I can’t access everything. 1.2162 0.06166 74 62 8 4
7205 My owner read the instructions wrong. 1.2162 0.05858 74 61 10 3
7206 My pronouns are "what" and "how weird." 1.2162 0.05858 74 61 10 3
7207 Is that how they're wearing them nowadays? I can never keep up 1.2162 0.05188 74 59 14 1
7208 He also gave me a crystal to wear, but you know, no room. 1.2162 0.05533 74 60 12 2
7209 this way my balls cant lick my face 1.2162 0.05698 74 63 7 4
7210 Much less wind resistance. 1.2162 0.05858 74 61 10 3
7211 Oh, I stopped listening to the vet ages ago. I mean, he's a human and I'm a dog, right? 1.2162 0.05533 74 60 12 2
7212 I tried to get it off but must have gone too far 1.2162 0.05533 74 60 12 2
7213 They upgraded me from goodboy to statementboy 1.2162 0.05533 74 60 12 2
7214 Yeah, but we’re outside - so I’m still technically a good boy. 1.2162 0.05533 74 60 12 2
7215 Look! I’m the Pixar lamp!” “I don’t know what that is. 1.2162 0.05188 74 59 14 1
7216 It’s my safe space. 1.2162 0.05188 74 59 14 1
7217 I mean we’ve been doing everything right, right? 1.2162 0.05858 74 61 10 3
7218 ...and I'm dyslexic. 1.2159 0.05469 88 73 11 4
7219 This is the way the cool dogs wear them. 1.2159 0.04968 88 71 15 2
7220 This way is lots more aerodynamic 1.2159 0.05225 88 72 13 3
7221 I’ll scratch your ears if you’ll scratch my neck. 1.2159 0.04698 88 70 17 1
7222 If you chew mine, I'll chew yours. 1.2159 0.05703 88 74 9 5
7223 Works just as well and no blind spot! 1.2159 0.05225 88 72 13 3
7224 It works when I'm walking backwards. 1.2159 0.05469 88 73 11 4
7225 Tell me about it, It's a dogs life. 1.2159 0.04698 88 70 17 1
7226 I've had my first shot. 1.2159 0.05225 88 72 13 3
7227 Mine is more a fashion statement 1.2159 0.05225 88 72 13 3
7228 Mind the wind over at the park. Some fierce over there. 1.2159 0.05225 88 72 13 3
7229 Is that how they wear them in Europe? 1.2159 0.04968 88 71 15 2
7230 Hiya Charlie, ya ol' introvert! 1.2159 0.04698 88 70 17 1
7231 I’m about to sniff your butt 1.2159 0.05225 88 72 13 3
7232 They took mine too, but they’ll never take my window down car rides. 1.2159 0.05225 88 72 13 3
7233 I'm you from the future, and boy do I have some great news! 1.2159 0.05469 88 73 11 4
7234 It’s so I don’t balls my lick 1.2159 0.05225 88 72 13 3
7235 I like my coney with onions, how about you? 1.2157 0.06456 51 41 9 1
7236 They won’t trust you until you trust yourself.” 1.2154 0.06002 65 53 10 2
7237 Mine is a Wimple 1.2154 0.06002 65 53 10 2
7238 Now that you’ve helped me, I can’t use my legs to help you. Oh the humanity! 1.2154 0.05139 65 51 14 0
7239 It's like wearing a baseball cap backwards. 1.2154 0.06002 65 53 10 2
7240 Us Australian Shepherd, even lick our water bowls the opposite direction too. 1.2154 0.06002 65 53 10 2
7241 On backwards? I bit the head off the last guy who said that. 1.2154 0.06390 65 54 8 3
7242 It's not a bug, it's a feature. 1.2154 0.06390 65 54 8 3
7243 We could do it doggy style. 1.2154 0.06390 65 54 8 3
7244 I'm an anti-coner. I trust my immune system and don't think I should be forced to not lick my gonads if I don't want too. 1.2154 0.06002 65 53 10 2
7245 Social distancing is so 2020 1.2154 0.06390 65 54 8 3
7246 I’m a Pilgrim in this year’s Thanksgiving pageant. 1.2154 0.06755 65 55 6 4
7247 That's not how you wear the piccadilly, Lou. Honestly. You look like you belong in the circus. 1.2154 0.06390 65 54 8 3
7248 The key is to keep acting like an idiot until they finally give up. 1.2152 0.04990 79 63 15 1
7249 The doctors say you have to wear one, but I don't believe the risk of infection is that serious. 1.2152 0.05305 79 64 13 2
7250 its never too late to turn things around 1.2152 0.05603 79 65 11 3
7251 They call me an incurable i-cone-oclast. 1.2152 0.06155 79 67 7 5
7252 Turned up. Turned down. Find your style. 1.2152 0.05305 79 64 13 2
7253 No shame here! 1.2152 0.05305 79 64 13 2
7254 At first, it serves a purpose. Now it's just a fashion accessory 1.2152 0.05305 79 64 13 2
7255 If you just flip it around, you'll make quite a fashion statement. 1.2152 0.05305 79 64 13 2
7256 Just remember for us, that's going to be a 49 year itch... 1.2152 0.05305 79 64 13 2
7257 At least you can rub shoulders. 1.2152 0.04990 79 63 15 1
7258 You’ve been doing it wrong... 1.2152 0.05305 79 64 13 2
7259 Like this, you can run faster than the cat. 1.2152 0.05885 79 66 9 4
7260 With the cone that way I couldn't hear a damn thing!" "What?" 1.2152 0.05305 79 64 13 2
7261 While you went to the vet, I went to town in the living room! 1.2152 0.04653 79 62 17 0
7262 I came up with, ‘I joined the clergy’; ‘It’s the male model’; ‘Where do you want me to scratch?’and, ‘I got it on Etsy!’ 1.2152 0.04990 79 63 15 1
7263 ‘’It’s the new Lady Dawga accessory!” 1.2152 0.05305 79 64 13 2
7264 Whatever turns you on works for me! 1.2152 0.05885 79 66 9 4
7265 They'll turn it around when you stop chasing your "the election was stolen" tale. 1.2152 0.05603 79 65 11 3
7266 So I can still do my own pedi-pedi. 1.2152 0.04653 79 62 17 0
7267 No, you're using it wrong. This is what I call the fart buster. 1.2152 0.05603 79 65 11 3
7268 Trust me. You do NOT want to know. 1.2152 0.04653 79 62 17 0
7269 You're a conehead. 1.2152 0.05885 79 66 9 4
7270 No disrespect, friend - just a difficult encounter with the owner's lamp. 1.2152 0.05305 79 64 13 2
7271 Try other news channels. 1.2152 0.05305 79 64 13 2
7272 We are both so fucking stupid 1.2152 0.05150 79 66 10 3
7273 Cheer up, buddy! Things will turn around soon enough. 1.2152 0.04653 79 64 14 1
7274 Boy, do you look stupid! 1.2152 0.05885 79 66 9 4
7275 Your first online date, you said! We’ll take it slow, like I said! 1.2152 0.04990 79 63 15 1
7276 No fun for you! 1.2152 0.05603 79 65 11 3
7277 It's not a lampshade. 1.2152 0.05603 79 65 11 3
7278 I've been feeling inside out lately. 1.2152 0.04990 79 63 15 1
7279 Perro que ladra, no muerde 1.2152 0.04990 79 63 15 1
7280 Life’s about perspective 1.2152 0.04990 79 63 15 1
7281 That's so last year Terrence 1.2152 0.05603 79 65 11 3
7282 Aerodynamics, man! 1.2151 0.05036 93 76 14 3
7283 It depends on how you look at it. 1.2151 0.04548 93 74 18 1
7284 Why don't we lick each other? 1.2151 0.05036 93 76 14 3
7285 I look at it as more of a fashion statement. 1.2151 0.04798 93 75 16 2
7286 Oops! DIY went wrong again! 1.2151 0.05036 93 76 14 3
7287 I’m a lamp-shade pet. 1.2151 0.04798 93 75 16 2
7288 Pound for pound, I have no dog in this fight... but I ain't a Boxer. 1.2151 0.05036 93 76 14 3
7289 Oh, like you've never flipped yours inside-out before laundry day? 1.2151 0.05690 93 79 8 6
7290 Well, they didn't put your pants back on either, Sport. 1.2143 0.05375 84 69 12 3
7291 Funny how they've been putting it on backwards all this time! 1.2143 0.05375 84 69 12 3
7292 It's retro." 1.2143 0.05101 84 68 14 2
7293 You’ll never make it as a priest 1.2143 0.05717 70 57 11 2
7294 Yeah, my hotspots are worse, but I am more aerodynamic. 1.2143 0.05101 84 68 14 2
7295 Once they see how much happier you are this way, they’ll go along! 1.2143 0.05342 70 56 13 1
7296 This new model may cut down on barking echo, but it still doesn't change the fact that I am devoid of testicles. 1.2143 0.06068 70 58 9 3
7297 Much more satisfying! It’s called ‘reverse engeneering’. 1.2143 0.05342 70 56 13 1
7298 You up for a little soul kissing? 1.2143 0.04812 84 67 16 1
7299 I can still smell your breath, no matter which way we wear these things. So, why bother? 1.2143 0.06068 70 58 9 3
7300 'It's a compromise between my authoritarian Mom and my permissive Dad.' 1.2143 0.05101 84 68 14 2
7301 The fleas love it. 1.2143 0.05077 98 81 13 4
7302 Mine's an innie. You have an outie. 1.2143 0.05101 84 68 14 2
7303 Something tells me you’re more of a strict constructionist. 1.2143 0.05375 84 69 12 3
7304 Chekhov says inside out as well as outside in. 1.2143 0.04865 98 80 15 3
7305 C'mon, now you've got to admit my owner is cooler. 1.2143 0.04812 84 67 16 1
7306 It’s aerodynamic and makes me look slimmer, it's all the rage! 1.2143 0.05342 70 56 13 1
7307 Vogue said all the runways will have this style during the Fall 2021 Fashion Week! Oh... you're wearing it wrong... why? 1.2143 0.05342 70 56 13 1
7308 I tolk them I was right-handed, but they insisted on installing the left-handed collar !! 1.2143 0.06068 70 58 9 3
7309 For the hundredth time, it needs to cover your mouth and nose. 1.2143 0.05636 84 70 10 4
7310 I promise I'm really an introvert too. 1.2143 0.04812 84 67 16 1
7311 Let's make a baby. 1.2143 0.06123 84 72 6 6
7312 I caught them flat-footed with a reverse-cone, Ju-Jitsu maneuver. 1.2143 0.06068 70 58 9 3
7313 Until now, I've never really seen the point of sticking my head out the window of a fast-moving car. 1.2143 0.04812 84 67 16 1
7314 Like it? It’s my new Flying Nun look. 1.2143 0.06400 70 59 7 4
7315 My vet believes in the honor system. 1.2143 0.06068 70 58 9 3
7316 I came up with it myself, I call it ‘Doggie Style’. 1.2143 0.05375 84 69 12 3
7317 Not sure why, but they let me keep mine!! 1.2143 0.05636 84 70 10 4
7318 It's the all-new streamlined model 1.2143 0.05101 84 68 14 2
7319 Want me to lick your wounds? 1.2143 0.05636 84 70 10 4
7320 My owner is technology challenged. 1.2143 0.05375 84 69 12 3
7321 It's performance art. 1.2143 0.04812 84 67 16 1
7322 Are you from New Zealand? 1.2143 0.04812 84 67 16 1
7323 I just wanted to be different. 1.2143 0.05636 84 70 10 4
7324 Is this what they mean by mirror image? 1.2143 0.04812 84 67 16 1
7325 Ruff. Ruff! Ruff!! It's a ruff! 1.2143 0.05101 84 68 14 2
7326 That’s a lovely frock, dear...but aren’t you wearing it inside out? 1.2143 0.06068 70 58 9 3
7327 Sunglasses are better anywway when it's sunny 1.2143 0.05342 70 56 13 1
7328 You're wearing your mask wrong. 1.2143 0.05636 84 70 10 4
7329 But the instructions say it can be worn any way you like! 1.2143 0.04644 98 79 17 2
7330 Your feelings are hurt? What about mine? 1.2143 0.05717 70 57 11 2
7331 You just have to keep pushing!! 1.2143 0.05375 84 69 12 3
7332 After all... i can see the one who can make me complete ! 1.2143 0.05717 70 57 11 2
7333 And all you gotta do is run into the wall at high speed! 1.2143 0.05636 84 70 10 4
7334 My fox friend from the country said this was the way 1.2143 0.05375 84 69 12 3
7335 ‘Hedge-backwards again?’ 1.2143 0.06400 70 59 7 4
7336 Don’t fill it with mustard 1.2143 0.04166 98 77 21 0
7337 No, it's fine. I just got my second shot." #covidvaccin 1.2143 0.05101 84 68 14 2
7338 Cosplay of Handmaid's Tale? Nice! 1.2143 0.05717 70 57 11 2
7339 The mohel was very gentle, I barely felt a thing. 1.2143 0.05636 84 70 10 4
7340 It’s called the Cone of Urbane. It’s super on-trend this season. 1.2143 0.04644 98 79 17 2
7341 Yours makes you look pathetic whereas, mine is a fashion statement. 1.2135 0.04918 89 72 15 2
7342 All the stylish dogs are wearing them like this. 1.2135 0.05412 89 74 11 4
7343 Well being all bark pays off sometimes 1.2135 0.05865 89 76 7 6
7344 No mask, no hump. 1.2135 0.05865 89 76 7 6
7345 Humm...are you an Innie or Outie? 1.2135 0.05865 89 76 7 6
7346 Offred, we are free, for the moment. 1.2135 0.05643 89 75 9 5
7347 The pandemic has even inverted the cone of shame. 1.2135 0.05171 89 73 13 3
7348 Yup.........I wet in through the out door! 1.2135 0.04651 89 71 17 1
7349 Dudley, your cape's on backwards... 1.2135 0.05171 89 73 13 3
7350 It prevents me from sniffing too deep. 1.2135 0.05171 89 73 13 3
7351 Biff, turned up collars are, like, so yesterday. 1.2135 0.05412 89 74 11 4
7352 I’ve had the vaccine 1.2135 0.04918 89 72 15 2
7353 Your bite must be worse than your bark. 1.2135 0.05643 89 75 9 5
7354 I got caught in the wind. 1.2135 0.05171 89 73 13 3
7355 It's the sports edition 1.2135 0.04651 89 71 17 1
7356 Bad reception? 1.2135 0.05643 89 75 9 5
7357 OK, Karen. 1.2135 0.04918 89 72 15 2
7358 Hey... wipe that dumb expression of your face... life treats me like this... and I accept!!! 1.2135 0.05171 89 73 13 3
7359 This is how they wear them in Paris. 1.2133 0.05127 75 60 14 1
7360 My owner was out on the town last night. 1.2133 0.05127 75 60 14 1
7361 My owner's dyslexic. He calls me god and put this on backwards. 1.2133 0.05467 75 61 12 2
7362 Hey Buddy, I think it's a cape so you're wearing it wrong! 1.2133 0.04762 75 59 16 0
7363 I was windy over on 5th. 1.2133 0.05787 75 62 10 3
7364 I'm in The Crown! 1.2133 0.06090 75 63 8 4
7365 My mom is smarter than a veterinarian. 1.2133 0.05467 75 61 12 2
7366 I left the seminary years ago. 1.2133 0.05787 75 62 10 3
7367 If you gnaw mine, I’ll gnaw yours. 1.2133 0.05127 75 60 14 1
7368 You can’t believe the aerodynamics. 1.2133 0.05127 75 60 14 1
7369 You should try it. Not only can I see better, but I can lick my crotch again.” 1.2133 0.05467 75 61 12 2
7370 I still can't lick anything, but this has a nicer aesthetic. 1.2133 0.05467 75 61 12 2
7371 The RIGHT way and the LEFT way. 1.2133 0.05467 75 61 12 2
7372 We went to old Shep's party, howled at the moon, got a little crazy and next thing we knew every dog there was wearing a cone. That's our story. 1.2133 0.04762 75 59 16 0
7373 I wanted something a little less formal. 1.2133 0.05127 75 60 14 1
7374 My owner graduated from Trump University. 1.2133 0.06090 75 63 8 4
7375 It's snazzy, doesn't interfere with your peripheral vision, and cuts down on wind resistance! 1.2133 0.05467 75 61 12 2
7376 No, really, they WANT me to lick myself in all the wrong places! 1.2133 0.05467 75 61 12 2
7377 Bark until they turn the fan on full blast and -- voila! 1.2133 0.05787 75 62 10 3
7378 I'll get you an appointment with my stylist. 1.2133 0.05467 75 61 12 2
7379 Tiffany's ... why do you ask? 1.2133 0.05467 75 61 12 2
7380 I've got the London look 1.2133 0.05467 75 61 12 2
7381 Don't be so disappointed. It's just a matter of chance if we end up with innies or outies. 1.2133 0.05787 75 62 10 3
7382 Quite Elizabethian 1.2133 0.05127 75 60 14 1
7383 Don't worry, it doesn't look stupid, we're just some drawings in the New Yorker. 1.2133 0.05127 75 60 14 1
7384 Doggy style 1.2133 0.05787 75 62 10 3
7385 Gentrification, I know 1.2133 0.05127 75 60 14 1
7386 Now I understand the 5 litters of puppies, Bob. 1.2133 0.05127 75 60 14 1
7387 If you turn it this way it makes you more aerodynamic 1.2133 0.05787 75 62 10 3
7388 I woke up on the wrong side of the bed and it’s been a great day! 1.2133 0.05787 75 62 10 3
7389 Victorian vs Puritanical 1.2133 0.05467 75 61 12 2
7390 2020 brought drastic changes to the set of the ‘Coneheads’ reboot. 1.2133 0.05787 75 62 10 3
7391 Just turn into the wind. Like this, see? 1.2133 0.04762 75 59 16 0
7392 Clueless 1.2131 0.06235 61 50 9 2
7393 It got great reviews but the instructions were in Siamese. 1.2131 0.06235 61 50 9 2
7394 All I did was kiss someone like you when he suddenly sneezed. 1.2131 0.06659 61 51 7 3
7395 ...only try to realize the truth… there is no cone. Then you’ll see that it is not the cone that flips, it is only yourself. 1.2131 0.06235 61 50 9 2
7396 methinks thou dost scratch too much. 1.2131 0.06235 61 50 9 2
7397 They said I should lick MORE. 1.2130 0.04373 108 87 19 2
7398 You're so Brooklyn 1.2128 0.04987 94 77 14 3
7399 Yes I am a member of the Tea Party, how did you know? 1.2128 0.04987 94 77 14 3
7400 This is how the Queen wears hers. 1.2128 0.04752 94 76 16 2
7401 HA! The cone of shame. Oh boy, don’t you look silly. 1.2128 0.04752 94 76 16 2
7402 Your is Shakespearean, mine is Etonian. 1.2128 0.04505 94 75 18 1
7403 They believe this is a form of birth control. 1.2128 0.05212 94 78 12 4
7404 My pronoun preference is "they." 1.2128 0.05427 94 79 10 5
7405 Q-tips again? 1.2128 0.05212 94 78 12 4
7406 I did this all by myself! 1.2128 0.05212 94 78 12 4
7407 « I thought we should be kissing by now » 1.2128 0.04752 94 76 16 2
7408 My dog whisperer said that I should expand my horizons, you know, ‘think outside of the cone’ more 1.2125 0.04934 80 64 15 1
7409 I’m actually fine. I was just trying to decapitate myself. 1.2125 0.04602 80 63 17 0
7410 This is what I get for looking up how to do it on Youtube. 1.2125 0.04602 80 65 14 1
7411 Damn straight! It’s a male adaptor. 1.2125 0.05539 80 66 11 3
7412 My Mom has dyslexia. 1.2125 0.05539 80 66 11 3
7413 It’s been dog years since they wore it like that! 1.2125 0.04934 80 64 15 1
7414 You're a dog. I'm a nun. 1.2125 0.06083 80 68 7 5
7415 Oh, it's a fashion statement, if you do it right. 1.2125 0.05245 80 65 13 2
7416 I thought it was more fashionable this way! 1.2125 0.06083 80 68 7 5
7417 Yeah, my owners are really distracted this past year. 1.2125 0.05539 80 66 11 3
7418 I bet that thing is better than a pair of hearing aids. 1.2125 0.05245 80 65 13 2
7419 I guess you have a wound? Mine is just a fashion statement. 1.2125 0.04934 80 64 15 1
7420 I found this lampshade in a second-hand shop. How about you? 1.2125 0.05245 80 65 13 2
7421 mine's from cosplay 1.2125 0.05817 80 67 9 4
7422 Is your WiFi better that way? 1.2125 0.05539 80 66 11 3
7423 I can see better this way. 1.2125 0.05245 80 65 13 2
7424 I'm more Neo-Classical, instead of Elizabethan 1.2125 0.05245 80 65 13 2
7425 Who in their right mind would ever say 'throw me a cone'?! 1.2125 0.06083 80 68 7 5
7426 We’re all in this together. 1.2125 0.05539 80 66 11 3
7427 Did the anesthetics wear off yet cause I think your cone's on backwards 1.2125 0.04934 80 64 15 1
7428 Sure it's safer to go along,but is that going to be your legacy? 1.2125 0.05245 80 65 13 2
7429 Corona and the Nun 1.2125 0.04934 80 64 15 1
7430 Outies are out 1.2125 0.05245 80 65 13 2
7431 No, it happened at an office party. 1.2125 0.05245 80 65 13 2
7432 Elizabethan versus Dutch: I think I like the ruff! 1.2125 0.05245 80 65 13 2
7433 Yes, it makes me much more aerodynamic. 1.2125 0.05245 80 65 13 2
7434 Now I’m aerodynamic! I’m built for speed! 1.2125 0.05245 80 65 13 2
7435 I've got reception! But are you Streamlined? 1.2125 0.04934 80 64 15 1
7436 It’s this year’s black. 1.2125 0.05245 80 65 13 2
7437 Yea, I know its backwards, I think my owner is dyslexic, she also keeps asking everyone she knows if there really is a doG 1.2125 0.05539 80 66 11 3
7438 I won the TicToc flipping challenge! 1.2125 0.05539 80 66 11 3
7439 Popped collars are so last season, Steve. 1.2125 0.05539 80 66 11 3
7440 You should flip it the other way. It doesn’t mess with your peripheral vision. 1.2125 0.05817 80 67 9 4
7441 I’m here live. I’m not a cat. 1.2125 0.05245 80 65 13 2
7442 I guess we bought the same Ikea lamp 1.2125 0.05817 80 67 9 4
7443 It’s physics Carl, I’m way faster now 1.2125 0.05539 80 66 11 3
7444 It took me a week, but I figured out how to flip it... 1.2121 0.06301 66 55 8 3
7445 It's great because this way I can lick my penis. 1.2121 0.05511 66 53 12 1
7446 ...emahs fo enoc eth s'tI 1.2121 0.06301 66 55 8 3
7447 Aerodynamics, old boy. Aerodynamics. 1.2121 0.05919 66 54 10 2
7448 I don't think my vet is up to scratch." 1.2121 0.05511 66 53 12 1
7449 The view is so much better 1.2121 0.05071 66 52 14 0
7450 Yeah,well I decided that I don’t want to listen to their pillow talk. 1.2121 0.05919 66 54 10 2
7451 I'd like to propose a you-scratch-my-back-I-scratch-yours type of a deal. 1.2121 0.05919 66 54 10 2
7452 Oh yeah, you wear it this way to keep your butt from your face. 1.2121 0.05030 99 82 13 4
7453 They say I'm fixed, but I think they're the broken ones. 1.2121 0.06301 66 55 8 3
7454 I guess you are a bowl half empty kind of dog 1.2121 0.05071 66 52 14 0
7455 I put my thang down, flip it and reverse it! 1.2121 0.05919 66 54 10 2
7456 Mine are gone too, but the aerodynamics makes it worthwhile. 1.2118 0.04762 85 68 16 1
7457 That's so 1990s.... 1.2118 0.05047 85 69 14 2
7458 Some mornings, it feels like my reflection's going to have a better day than I am 1.2118 0.05047 85 69 14 2
7459 Fewer stares. 1.2118 0.05047 85 69 14 2
7460 Try it,you'll like it. 1.2118 0.04762 85 68 16 1
7461 My trader says sometimes all the fleas team up; so you have to stop them from getting to your head. 1.2118 0.05317 85 70 12 3
7462 Mine's more aerodynamic so I can run faster. Seriously, am I the only one to think of this ? 1.2118 0.05317 85 70 12 3
7463 sorry, what did you say? 1.2118 0.05575 85 71 10 4
7464 Sorry fellow! Your old style of neck gaiter means you have not been yet vacinated. 1.2118 0.05047 85 69 14 2
7465 Owner says, it had her in stitches. Seems fair. 1.2118 0.04762 85 68 16 1
7466 Well, I was in the wind tunnel hanging out the window of the new Tesla and this happened. 1.2118 0.04762 85 68 16 1
7467 I’ll wear it if they make me, but not over my nose—it’s all a hoax. 1.2118 0.05820 85 72 8 5
7468 I just got my first shot 1.2118 0.05317 85 70 12 3
7469 Eddie, that's the last time I stand behind an elephant after he eats beans. 1.2118 0.05575 85 71 10 4
7470 Obviously, your master is somewhat less stupid than mine. 1.2118 0.05047 85 69 14 2
7471 You say Toe-May-toe and I say Toe-Mah-toe. 1.2118 0.05047 85 69 14 2
7472 Ruffly speaking, we have a complementary although convex relationship. 1.2118 0.05047 85 69 14 2
7473 Totally this season and I have peripheral vision! 1.2118 0.05317 85 70 12 3
7474 my mom says its healthier to express my most authentic self. 1.2118 0.05317 85 70 12 3
7475 I’m so sorry your human must have dyslexia. 1.2118 0.05575 85 71 10 4
7476 I've trained my master well 1.2118 0.05047 85 69 14 2
7477 See, now we can kiss. 1.2118 0.05047 85 69 14 2
7478 I'm sure they meant well. 1.2118 0.05047 85 69 14 2
7479 Why is your Cape of Shame backwards? 1.2118 0.05820 85 72 8 5
7480 No, *you* are using it wrong 1.2118 0.05047 85 69 14 2
7481 If I push I can get you out 1.2118 0.04762 85 68 16 1
7482 See if you wear it this way it makes it easier to breathe 1.2118 0.05047 85 69 14 2
7483 It’s a life hack. 1.2118 0.05047 85 69 14 2
7484 You had yours taken off... I had mine put back on! 1.2115 0.06913 52 43 7 2
7485 The invitation said handmaid's tale, not butterfly collar. 1.2113 0.06317 71 60 7 4
7486 spoiler alert! 1.2113 0.05275 71 57 13 1
7487 Actually, it’s surprisingly effective. 1.2113 0.06317 71 60 7 4
7488 Something is wrong with this mirror image. 1.2113 0.05275 71 57 13 1
7489 Life sure is great since we were adopted by the Coneheads. 1.2113 0.05275 71 57 13 1
7490 At least you won't get a sunburn. 1.2113 0.05275 71 57 13 1
7491 You have to wear it that way if your bite is worse than your bark. Might be something to work on. 1.2113 0.05990 71 59 9 3
7492 Dude, y’know I don’t like to judge but that cone is so last season. 1.2113 0.05644 71 58 11 2
7493 You bite mine...I'll bite yours! 1.2113 0.05275 71 57 13 1
7494 So restrictive, right? 1.2113 0.05644 71 58 11 2
7495 It creates less air resistance." 1.2113 0.05990 71 59 9 3
7496 I just got vaccinated 1.2113 0.05990 71 59 9 3
7497 Oh this? My owner's fashion statement. 1.2113 0.05990 71 59 9 3
7498 Wooooooooooooooooooff 1.2113 0.05644 71 58 11 2
7499 I overheard my owner talking about reverse psychology or something. 1.2113 0.04879 71 56 15 0
7500 Just a little push and thats it - 1.2113 0.05275 71 57 13 1
7501 You listen to the media! Lol 1.2113 0.05275 71 57 13 1
7502 I still have to maintain social distancing outside of my pod though. 1.2113 0.05644 71 58 11 2
7503 There’s no wrong answer 1.2113 0.05990 71 59 9 3
7504 It's my dissent cone 1.2113 0.05644 71 58 11 2
7505 You put it on this way for black tie events. 1.2113 0.05644 71 58 11 2
7506 This is what happens when your vet has a hangover! 1.2111 0.05119 90 74 13 3
7507 It’s the latest look. It’s call the Eaton collar. 1.2111 0.04605 90 72 17 1
7508 You’re not going out looking like that. 1.2111 0.04869 90 73 15 2
7509 Fuck them. 1.2111 0.05585 90 76 9 5
7510 I SAID, ‘HOW CAN I WEAR A TIE WITH THIS?’ AND SHE TURNED IT AROUND. 1.2111 0.04605 90 72 17 1
7511 It's cut my 40-yard dash time in half. 1.2111 0.05357 90 75 11 4
7512 Ha! I used to have the same problem but the cat fixed it for me. 1.2111 0.05357 90 75 11 4
7513 Hi Yin, I'm Yang 1.2111 0.05357 90 75 11 4
7514 My vet put it on wrong but I still can't lick my rump. 1.2111 0.04869 90 73 15 2
7515 One way or the other...it'’s forward licking from now on. 1.2111 0.04869 90 73 15 2
7516 They told me I got tutored. 1.2111 0.05119 90 74 13 3
7517 It goes over your nose. 1.2111 0.05585 90 76 9 5
7518 If I a catch the wind just right, I can get off the ground enough to scare the neighbor’s cat. 1.2111 0.04869 90 73 15 2
7519 I feel bad about my neck 1.2111 0.05357 90 75 11 4
7520 Doesn’t a cone like this act the same as a mask below the nose? 1.2111 0.05585 90 76 9 5
7521 My stitches are on my face. 1.2105 0.05717 76 63 10 3
7522 It's funny, you know, how the silliest things can sometimes give you a new perspective of the world. 1.2105 0.05067 76 61 14 1
7523 It'll change your life. 1.2105 0.04205 95 75 20 0
7524 It's a twist on Coney Island Hot Dogs! 1.2105 0.05402 76 62 12 2
7525 They say opposites attract..." Callum J. Rolfe, London, England 1.2105 0.05067 76 61 14 1
7526 Like always; you smell mine and I smell yours 1.2105 0.04940 95 78 14 3
7527 I’m very persuasive. 1.2105 0.05402 76 62 12 2
7528 My human belongs to PETA! 1.2105 0.04940 95 78 14 3
7529 I can help you out of that contraption just like I helped out Fido. 1.2105 0.05402 76 62 12 2
7530 Doesn't protect me from myself, but it's so elegant. 1.2105 0.05717 76 63 10 3
7531 SHOUTING??! I'M NOT SHOUTING!! 1.2105 0.05374 95 80 10 5
7532 You know you have a cone on your head right? 1.2105 0.05067 76 61 14 1
7533 It looks great. I'm just not sure you should call your new line of collars 'doggy style.' 1.2105 0.05776 95 82 6 7
7534 Rough ruff? 1.2105 0.05402 76 62 12 2
7535 Are you trying for a suntan? 1.2105 0.05067 76 61 14 1
7536 No I don’t have stitches, it’s more of a fashion statement about conquering shame. 1.2105 0.06497 57 47 8 2
7537 My vet says I'm fashion-forward. 1.2105 0.05067 76 61 14 1
7538 No, I’m actually trying out for Malvolio from Twelfth Night. 1.2105 0.05161 95 79 12 4
7539 Your collar is so last year! 1.2105 0.04708 95 77 16 2
7540 Ruff, huh? Don’t worry. They say it gets better with time. 1.2105 0.04708 76 60 16 0
7541 It's just one of the many benefits of being a democrat today. 1.2105 0.05717 76 63 10 3
7542 I've seen it both ways. 1.2105 0.05067 76 61 14 1
7543 I like the retro-colonial look. 1.2105 0.05067 76 61 14 1
7544 Cone of shame but make it fashion. 1.2105 0.05402 76 62 12 2
7545 I just flipped the script 1.2105 0.04708 95 77 16 2
7546 Hold still. I'll have you out of it in a jiffy. I've done this before. 1.2105 0.05402 76 62 12 2
7547 Yeah, life is ruff lately... 1.2105 0.05402 76 62 12 2
7548 Hi, I'm a Democrat. 1.2105 0.05402 76 62 12 2
7549 Your vet is an idiot. What's her/his name? 1.2105 0.05717 76 63 10 3
7550 I have tinnitus, can you hear the echo? 1.2105 0.04708 76 60 16 0
7551 They don't want me to scratch my vaccine site. You? 1.2105 0.04708 95 77 16 2
7552 “I know it looks better, but I still can’t lick my balls” 1.2105 0.05402 76 62 12 2
7553 Acceleration. 1.2105 0.05402 76 62 12 2
7554 You told me to change, so I did. 1.2105 0.05717 76 63 10 3
7555 I think we have an inverse relationship. 1.2105 0.05067 76 61 14 1
7556 that is so last dog year 1.2105 0.05717 76 63 10 3
7557 Come to the other side, Max. They don't call it "Cone of Shame" here. " 1.2105 0.05402 76 62 12 2
7558 Yeh, so I saw this 5 minute life hack 1.2105 0.06301 76 65 6 5
7559 : My vet 's trained at Saint Anthony's Convent . 1.2105 0.05717 76 63 10 3
7560 Conefounding 1.2105 0.05067 76 61 14 1
7561 It’s all the rage in france! 1.2105 0.05067 76 61 14 1
7562 See, I’m not old 1.2105 0.05067 76 61 14 1
7563 They didn’t say anything about not biting each other’s but 1.2105 0.06016 76 64 8 4
7564 Better to hear my farts 1.2105 0.05717 76 63 10 3
7565 Love is... finding your perfect match 1.2105 0.05717 76 63 10 3
7566 Don't give into cancel culture, bro! Be a part of the new inclusion. 1.2100 0.05183 100 84 11 5
7567 Better, sure, but you still can't lick your crotch. 1.2099 0.05476 81 67 11 3
7568 How passe. 1.2099 0.05476 81 67 11 3
7569 That style is so last year. 1.2099 0.05751 81 68 9 4
7570 It's a new sleek French look. All the poodles are wearing it. 1.2099 0.05476 81 67 11 3
7571 I finally beat the greyhound. 1.2099 0.05187 81 66 13 2
7572 It's a lot quieter this way. 1.2099 0.05751 81 68 9 4
7573 Like my new Anti-Elizabethan? 1.2099 0.04880 81 65 15 1
7574 I can get 37 stations AND sniff my rear! 1.2099 0.05476 81 67 11 3
7575 At least you get to hear what they're doing when they go into that other room and close the door. 1.2099 0.05476 81 67 11 3
7576 They're trying to encourage me to lick. 1.2099 0.04880 81 65 15 1
7577 Not only is it retro, I can scratch again 1.2099 0.04880 81 65 15 1
7578 Better out than in! 1.2099 0.05476 81 67 11 3
7579 Hi, Innie. I'm Outie. 1.2099 0.05187 81 66 13 2
7580 My issues are different! 1.2099 0.04553 81 64 17 0
7581 I just said, "No, it goes on the other way." 1.2099 0.05751 81 68 9 4
7582 The advances in therapy are lightyears ahead now. 1.2099 0.05476 81 67 11 3
7583 my butt is trying to bite my face for a change. 1.2099 0.05751 81 68 9 4
7584 Hi! I can’t lick myself, but I’m happy to lick YOU! 1.2099 0.05187 81 66 13 2
7585 Yes Sister, I always knew I wanted to be a priest. 1.2099 0.05751 81 68 9 4
7586 My collar is not medical, it's a fashion statement" 1.2099 0.05476 81 67 11 3
7587 Learn new tricks while you still can. 1.2099 0.04880 81 65 15 1
7588 ... but you can't get all the news when that damned cone restricts your sampling. 1.2099 0.05187 81 66 13 2
7589 So, you run full speed into a wall... 1.2099 0.05187 81 66 13 2
7590 Popped collars went out of style 10 years ago, bro. 1.2099 0.05187 81 66 13 2
7591 Makes it easier to pick up chicks—I mean sticks 1.2099 0.05187 81 66 13 2
7592 Mine’s just a fashion accessory!” 1.2099 0.05187 81 66 13 2
7593 Trust me. 1.2099 0.05187 81 66 13 2
7594 My master’s not the sharpest but he’s ready with the treats. 1.2099 0.04880 81 65 15 1
7595 I had the reversal replacement. 1.2099 0.05476 81 67 11 3
7596 And they said they would fix me. 1.2099 0.05751 81 68 9 4
7597 Wow, your breath is strong. 1.2099 0.05751 81 68 9 4
7598 My mom just finished the RBG documentary." "You're lucky. Mine is going through a Shakespeare phase. 1.2099 0.05476 81 67 11 3
7599 We just moved from the southern hemisphere. 1.2099 0.04880 81 65 15 1
7600 Sometimes you have to let life turn you upside down so you can learn to live, right side up... 1.2099 0.06013 81 69 7 5
7601 I don't know, it just makes me feel better about myself. 1.2099 0.04880 81 65 15 1
7602 The reception is much better this way. 1.2099 0.04553 81 64 17 0
7603 Oh, I thought you said to invest in ‘Doge Cone’.... 1.2099 0.05187 81 66 13 2
7604 It’s the new Spring look, I saw it in Vanity Fur! 1.2099 0.05476 81 67 11 3
7605 The new normal 1.2099 0.04880 81 65 15 1
7606 the vet said it’ll stop me moonwalking 1.2099 0.05476 81 67 11 3
7607 I tired of amplifying my master's voice 1.2097 0.06143 62 51 9 2
7608 Another two years and I can finally retire from the lampshade factory. 1.2097 0.05697 62 52 8 2
7609 This is going to be the best production of The Handmaid’s Tale yet! 1.2097 0.06143 62 51 9 2
7610 I’ve reversed their world view. 1.2095 0.04426 105 85 18 2
7611 St. Bernard. And you? 1.2093 0.05261 86 71 12 3
7612 He said "You can't teach an old dog new tricks" and then . . . 1.2093 0.04712 86 69 16 1
7613 Popped collars are so out of style. 1.2093 0.05261 86 71 12 3
7614 I decided to go with an updated 'pilgrim' look rather than the usual Elizabethan. 1.2093 0.04994 86 70 14 2
7615 This Mitex cone lets me take a ticking and keep on licking. 1.2093 0.05990 86 74 6 6
7616 I want to look good for my COVID-19 shot! 1.2093 0.04994 86 70 14 2
7617 Foow! Foow! Foow! 1.2093 0.04994 86 70 14 2
7618 I saw them do this docking maneuver in Apollo 13. You wanna try it? 1.2093 0.04712 86 69 16 1
7619 It's the new aerodynamic version. 1.2093 0.05261 86 71 12 3
7620 How sad , you’ve got version 2.0. 1.2093 0.05261 86 71 12 3
7621 Come on, it’s called herd immunity 1.2093 0.05515 86 72 10 4
7622 #My Cartoon Caption "Dude That Amish look is so last year" 1.2093 0.04712 86 69 16 1
7623 Car window-sailing is survivable this way. 1.2093 0.05261 86 71 12 3
7624 I know what the health experts say, but I like the way this looks! 1.2093 0.04994 86 70 14 2
7625 Deal - your venison dog treats and I pull out the stitches. 1.2093 0.04994 86 70 14 2
7626 This way I won’t catch 5G waves 1.2093 0.05261 86 71 12 3
7627 Collar behind the ears is so last year. 1.2093 0.04712 86 69 16 1
7628 You say tomato, I say...silly me we don't talk. 1.2090 0.05839 67 55 10 2
7629 By special request only... 1.2090 0.05839 67 55 10 2
7630 I just came back from Paris. 1.2090 0.06214 67 56 8 3
7631 Cone ya hear me now? 1.2090 0.05839 67 55 10 2
7632 No, I am just into old french fashion. 1.2090 0.05438 67 54 12 1
7633 That is so last year's fashion. 1.2090 0.05839 67 55 10 2
7634 You think I'm going to start bragging about the benefits of hindsight, right? 1.2090 0.05438 67 54 12 1
7635 This is what happens when your master is a contrarion 1.2090 0.05438 67 54 12 1
7636 You have got to check out Barry's new convertible. 1.2090 0.05839 67 55 10 2
7637 They're just mad because they can't lick their own butts! 1.2090 0.05839 67 55 10 2
7638 Thank goodness we don’t have to wear a mask! 1.2090 0.05839 67 55 10 2
7639 You scratch my back, I'll lick yours.... 1.2090 0.06214 67 56 8 3
7640 My homage to Karl Lagerfeld 1.2090 0.05839 67 55 10 2
7641 You conservatives, always politicing everything... 1.2090 0.06214 67 56 8 3
7642 I just got back from Paris. We’re doing it wrong. 1.2090 0.06214 67 56 8 3
7643 Cheer up. After you're healed you can repurpose it. 1.2088 0.04560 91 73 17 1
7644 I’m auditioning for the role of Hamlet for Shakespeare in the park. 1.2088 0.04560 91 73 17 1
7645 Remember, no tongues. 1.2088 0.05068 91 75 13 3
7646 ... so I'm in a ruff situation. 1.2088 0.05068 91 75 13 3
7647 That's true, but my owner is a member of the Four Seasons Animal Rights Society. 1.2088 0.04560 91 73 17 1
7648 Don't know about you, but I'm prepping for the annual Thanksgiving play. 1.2088 0.05303 91 76 11 4
7649 I had a choice! 1.2088 0.04821 91 74 15 2
7650 I see you had incorrective surgery 1.2088 0.03670 91 75 15 1
7651 My owners said it would keep them from licking me. 1.2088 0.05068 91 75 13 3
7652 Which one of us is concave and which is convex? 1.2088 0.05068 91 75 13 3
7653 All the cool guys wear them this way. 1.2083 0.05210 72 58 13 1
7654 I"m in treatment for narcissism. You? 1.2083 0.04820 72 57 15 0
7655 All the cool kids are doing it 1.2083 0.04663 96 78 16 2
7656 Good Morning Reverend Waggs. Well Hello and Blessings on you Mrs. Barker! 1.2083 0.05210 72 58 13 1
7657 You're Elizabethan and I'm puritanical...this could never work. 1.2083 0.05913 72 60 9 3
7658 Mine’s a Halloween costume. Going as a nun. 1.2083 0.05913 72 60 9 3
7659 Not exactly aerodynamic now is it? 1.2083 0.05573 72 59 11 2
7660 Why, yes. I do go to Eton. How did you know? 1.2083 0.05210 72 58 13 1
7661 It's so your arse doesn't lick your face unexpectedly. 1.2083 0.05913 72 60 9 3
7662 Don't you just love these reversible cones? 1.2083 0.04820 72 57 15 0
7663 It's also a subtle protest against grain free dog food. 1.2083 0.05019 72 60 10 2
7664 My emotional wounds are healing nicely. 1.2083 0.04663 96 78 16 2
7665 Yeah, I loved Wyoming, but it's too windy. 1.2083 0.05913 72 60 9 3
7666 My relatives came over on the Mayflower” 1.2083 0.05573 72 59 11 2
7667 My owner's the ultimate contrarian! 1.2083 0.04893 96 79 14 3
7668 We're together 24-7: I'm just trying to keep things fresh. 1.2083 0.05573 72 59 11 2
7669 At first, I hated it, but it flatters my figure- don't you think? 1.2083 0.05913 72 60 9 3
7670 I'm lucky to have an owner with dyslexia ! 1.2083 0.05913 72 60 9 3
7671 This is how we wear our Elizabethian collars in Brooklyn. 1.2083 0.06235 72 61 7 4
7672 I’m a spaceship! 1.2083 0.06235 72 61 7 4
7673 Hi. What? I can’t hear you. I said, hi!! What?! 1.2083 0.04820 72 57 15 0
7674 Ruben's your Master? Rembrandt's mine. 1.2083 0.05573 72 59 11 2
7675 If it itches, I'm here for you... 1.2083 0.05210 72 58 13 1
7676 I avoided the cone of shame by back talking 1.2083 0.05913 72 60 9 3
7677 You see, I don't really believe in this whole infection thing 1.2083 0.05913 72 60 9 3
7678 Life is all about perspective. 1.2083 0.05913 72 60 9 3
7679 Oh, no it’s not prescription it’s just for the look 1.2083 0.05210 72 58 13 1
7680 It goes OVER the nose. 1.2083 0.05210 72 58 13 1
7681 Clearly, you don't read enough Vogue 1.2083 0.04820 72 57 15 0
7682 The cone is supposed to cover the nose 1.2083 0.05210 72 58 13 1
7683 My owner’s flatulent outbursts disperse much faster this way. 1.2079 0.04520 101 82 17 2
7684 This is for when my butt tries to lick my face 1.2078 0.05008 77 62 14 1
7685 I ain’t been licked yet! 1.2078 0.05649 77 64 10 3
7686 My parents are easily swayed by the latest research too. 1.2078 0.05649 77 64 10 3
7687 My master said it’s a hoax 1.2078 0.05649 77 64 10 3
7688 Nice cone,Rex! I have the 2020 edition. 1.2078 0.05944 77 65 8 4
7689 So I got the idea from this segment on Fox about reverse racism... 1.2078 0.05008 77 62 14 1
7690 Besides looking real cool, it doesn’t interfere with flirting. 1.2078 0.05338 77 63 12 2
7691 I've got a medical condition - I don't need to wear the cone correctly" 1.2078 0.04654 77 61 16 0
7692 At least we can still hump. 1.2078 0.05008 77 62 14 1
7693 Too bad your owner isn't dyslexic. 1.2078 0.05338 77 63 12 2
7694 Look at me now! To think that I nearly refused to get out into that wild and stormy night. 1.2078 0.05649 77 64 10 3
7695 I'll scratch you if you scratch me. 1.2078 0.05944 77 65 8 4
7696 Needless to say, the vet was ass backwards, too. 1.2078 0.05338 77 63 12 2
7697 It's all about which way you look. 1.2078 0.05008 77 62 14 1
7698 What can I tell you? My human always thinks he knows better. 1.2078 0.05649 77 64 10 3
7699 Perhaps, but on the other hand, you could say we were made for each other! 1.2078 0.05008 77 62 14 1
7700 „You’re holding it wrong.” 1.2078 0.04654 77 61 16 0
7701 Was it something I said about pack immunity? 1.2078 0.05649 77 64 10 3
7702 I just wait for them to say ‘Nighty, Night Poochie-Poochie.... 1.2078 0.05008 77 62 14 1
7703 And I think we both know the best part! 1.2078 0.05008 77 62 14 1
7704 With one little tweak, you can turn your cone of shame into a fashionable ruff! 1.2078 0.05338 77 63 12 2
7705 I'm a lot more aerodynamic this way. 1.2078 0.05338 77 63 12 2
7706 Dog on it, think outside the cone. 1.2078 0.05008 77 62 14 1
7707 It is easier to eat when you wear the collar this way. 1.2078 0.05338 77 63 12 2
7708 You say bow-wow and I say wow-bow. Let's get these doggone things off. 1.2078 0.05649 77 64 10 3
7709 Got my second vaccine yesterday! 1.2078 0.05649 77 64 10 3
7710 You know wearing blinders is no way to go through life. 1.2078 0.05008 77 62 14 1
7711 I guess we will always view the world differently. 1.2078 0.05008 77 62 14 1
7712 Your humans skipped the instructions in the IKEA cone of shame, didn't they? 1.2078 0.05008 77 62 14 1
7713 I read it on Facebook. It's a new treatment. 1.2078 0.05338 77 63 12 2
7714 Does that REALLY stop Covid? 1.2078 0.05338 77 63 12 2
7715 We’re wearing them like this now, darling. 1.2078 0.05338 77 63 12 2
7716 We're outside. I only wear it that way when I'm indoors. 1.2078 0.05008 77 62 14 1
7717 all you gotta do is jump into this wormhole 1.2078 0.05338 77 63 12 2
7718 You gotta try it. They're called wind tunnels. I'll never go back to car windows again. 1.2078 0.06225 77 66 6 5
7719 Luckily my owner is left-handed. 1.2078 0.05649 77 64 10 3
7720 Only Millennials wear it like that. 1.2078 0.05944 77 65 8 4
7721 Wait , Wait... I got another one. So this dog walks into a cornhole game... 1.2078 0.05338 77 63 12 2
7722 My owner only gave me probation. 1.2078 0.05649 77 64 10 3
7723 People are saying it goes this way 1.2078 0.05338 77 63 12 2
7724 It was the best tik tok ever 1.2078 0.05338 77 63 12 2
7725 My human got bored 1.2078 0.05338 77 63 12 2
7726 Your nose is showing. 1.2078 0.05649 77 64 10 3
7727 I used to be like you, but I turned it around 1.2078 0.05944 77 65 8 4
7728 My human believes in freedom and creative thinking 1.2078 0.05338 77 63 12 2
7729 Relax, it’s not like it’s a Covid mask. 1.2078 0.05338 77 63 12 2
7730 I got tired of seeing my quarantine pounds. 1.2078 0.05008 77 62 14 1
7731 How many dogs does it take to change a lightbulb? More than 2. 1.2078 0.05649 77 64 10 3
7732 I paid for the upgrade. 1.2073 0.05129 82 67 13 2
7733 It’s all the rage in Milan! 1.2073 0.04827 82 66 15 1
7734 The flu kills more dogs than distemper every year. 1.2073 0.05415 82 68 11 3
7735 I look like the Pope and you look like a pilgrim's wife, so we have that going for us. 1.2073 0.05415 82 68 11 3
7736 When you learn to talk you can reverse it too. 1.2073 0.04827 82 66 15 1
7737 I got my owner to agree that this was more fashionable. 1.2073 0.05129 82 67 13 2
7738 Outie, innie... We’re all canine. 1.2073 0.05686 82 69 9 4
7739 It's easier to put on this way! 1.2073 0.04504 82 70 9 3
7740 My stylist suggested it. 1.2073 0.05415 82 68 11 3
7741 Ever since this change, I can breathe more easily and I still can't lick myself. 1.2073 0.05129 82 67 13 2
7742 The vet makes an exception since I can trace my family back to the Mayflower. 1.2073 0.05415 82 68 11 3
7743 It’s supposed to cover your nose. 1.2073 0.05129 82 67 13 2
7744 It’s sleight of paw. 1.2073 0.05129 82 67 13 2
7745 Yes, I flipped it over so that I could lick my wound 1.2073 0.04827 82 66 15 1
7746 It actualy got worse 1.2073 0.04504 82 65 17 0
7747 It's been a wroof day 1.2073 0.05686 82 69 9 4
7748 Get with the times grandpa 1.2073 0.05129 82 67 13 2
7749 I know you can’t sniff since they put your lamp shade on backward. You’ll just have to take my word for it. 1.2073 0.04827 82 66 15 1
7750 My brother had an inny. 1.2073 0.05415 82 68 11 3
7751 To infinity and beyond. 1.2073 0.04504 82 65 17 0
7752 I don’t know how to roll over, but I do know how to roll down the car window. 1.2073 0.05415 82 68 11 3
7753 Got 1,000 likes on Insta. 1.2073 0.05415 82 68 11 3
7754 Be careful coming around the corner on Main. It's a little windy. 1.2073 0.04827 82 66 15 1
7755 Why not? 1.2073 0.05415 82 68 11 3
7756 And the top dog is actually running a secret pedophile ring! 1.2073 0.04827 82 66 15 1
7757 This way they can’t put a microchip in you 1.2073 0.05415 82 68 11 3
7758 And this is why the dogtors are recommending wearing two cones 1.2073 0.05129 82 67 13 2
7759 Oh yeah, well at leawt I can still lick my balls" 1.2069 0.05206 87 72 12 3
7760 I decided to go with a cone of chic instead of shame. 1.2069 0.04664 87 70 16 1
7761 Forgot to close the window on the on-ramp. 1.2069 0.05206 87 72 12 3
7762 The inverted mane is so seven years ago.. 1.2069 0.06851 58 49 6 3
7763 It's all in how you wear it, but I'm not sure either of us can pull this off. 1.2069 0.05206 87 72 12 3
7764 I was SO DRUNK I put the shade on upside down. 1.2069 0.06851 58 49 6 3
7765 Hey, don’t knock pure research if you haven’t tried it. 1.2069 0.05456 87 73 10 4
7766 I still can’t lick my hotspot, but my human thinks this looks more chic. 1.2069 0.04942 87 71 14 2
7767 He said he was sick of every day being just like every other day, so he decided to do something different. 1.2069 0.05206 87 72 12 3
7768 Sure is windy. 1.2069 0.05206 87 72 12 3
7769 Your owner must be sadistic 1.2069 0.04368 87 69 18 0
7770 It's like looking in a mirror . 1.2069 0.05206 87 72 12 3
7771 For me it’s a fashion statement 1.2069 0.05456 87 73 10 4
7772 I think it looks better THIS WAY! 1.2069 0.05206 87 72 12 3
7773 This way, I can still hang my head out the car window. 1.2069 0.04942 87 71 14 2
7774 A touch of dickey envy perhaps? 1.2069 0.04942 87 71 14 2
7775 Not only is it more fashionable, I can still lick my butt. 1.2069 0.05456 87 73 10 4
7776 I watched that bizarro episode of Seinfeld again and thought I'd give this a shot... 1.2069 0.05456 87 73 10 4
7777 Say what you will but you'll be seeing at all of next season's shows. 1.2069 0.04942 87 71 14 2
7778 Goodbye cone of shame, hello cone of aerodynamic self-assurance 1.2069 0.04942 87 71 14 2
7779 Trust me on this one, you wanna stick your head out the window on the highway and see their reaction! 1.2069 0.04942 87 71 14 2
7780 I told you when you wear it like that, you can’t show off your pierced ears! 1.2069 0.03882 87 70 17 0
7781 Oh, I just think it looks more flattering this way. 1.2065 0.05017 92 76 13 3
7782 Less air resistance AND supports visual acuity. 1.2065 0.05017 92 76 13 3
7783 The trick is you back into it. 1.2065 0.05250 92 77 11 4
7784 Hey pilgrim. 1.2065 0.05250 92 77 11 4
7785 You do this, if you’re a Corgi. 1.2065 0.05017 92 76 13 3
7786 It’s a statement piece; & it’s reversible! 1.2065 0.05250 92 77 11 4
7787 It’s fine I’m vaccinated 1.2065 0.04773 92 75 15 2
7788 I’ll scratch your nose if you scratch mine ? 1.2065 0.04516 92 76 14 2
7789 It keeps the makeup off of my fur for my social media videos. 1.2063 0.05616 63 51 11 1
7790 It's more energy efficient. 1.2063 0.06054 63 52 9 2
7791 I like to think of it as more of a retro-fashion look. 1.2063 0.05616 63 51 11 1
7792 I'll do you if you do me. 1.2062 0.05271 97 82 10 5
7793 Just run super fast. Wind resistance does the rest. 1.2062 0.05064 97 81 12 4
7794 BEWARE: Avant-garde dog on duty 1.2062 0.04847 97 80 14 3
7795 Buddy, wear it the right way , don't act like a hooman 1.2062 0.05271 97 82 10 5
7796 I would if we were married. 1.2059 0.06130 68 57 8 3
7797 I took this look from cone of shame to damn that dog has game! 1.2059 0.05366 68 55 12 1
7798 I'm more of a cone half-full kind of pup. 1.2059 0.05366 68 55 12 1
7799 My doctor is dyslexic! 1.2059 0.05366 68 55 12 1
7800 Trust me, you'll get less interference. 1.2059 0.05760 68 56 10 2
7801 It’s a collar of pride. 1.2059 0.06130 68 57 8 3
7802 Reverse engineering - it's the only way to go. 1.2059 0.06130 68 57 8 3
7803 So, I'm a Republican and you're a Democrat...what's the big diff? Neither one of us can lick our wounds!" 1.2059 0.05366 68 55 12 1
7804 That outfit is so seven years ago. 1.2059 0.05366 68 55 12 1
7805 It hides my bad hair days. 1.2059 0.05760 68 56 10 2
7806 You're wearing it wrong." "No, you are. 1.2059 0.05760 68 56 10 2
7807 I am male to your female. How about we mate? 1.2059 0.05366 68 55 12 1
7808 I have cone fatigue. 1.2059 0.05760 68 56 10 2
7809 Popped collars are so eighties. 1.2059 0.05760 68 56 10 2
7810 I talked them into thinking "Out of the box". 1.2059 0.05760 68 56 10 2
7811 It's from the Avant-garde section of February's "Canine Couture" magazine. 1.2055 0.05503 73 60 11 2
7812 I'm just trying to be supportive 1.2055 0.05839 73 61 9 3
7813 Here’s the deal. You lick mine and I’ll lick yours 1.2055 0.04762 73 58 15 0
7814 Blessed be the fruit. 1.2055 0.06156 73 62 7 4
7815 I bet you're the type of dog who still wears collars. 1.2055 0.05839 73 61 9 3
7816 I'm an optimist! 1.2055 0.05503 73 60 11 2
7817 Frankly, I'm making a stand for my personal freedom. 1.2055 0.05503 73 60 11 2
7818 The vet must be dyslexic! 1.2055 0.05839 73 61 9 3
7819 Thankfully, they don't understand geometry. 1.2055 0.05503 73 60 11 2
7820 It looks like we were made to be together ! 1.2055 0.05503 73 60 11 2
7821 U didn't feel that wind gust?!! 1.2055 0.05839 73 61 9 3
7822 I told you to order the N95 masks. 1.2055 0.04762 73 58 15 0
7823 Good morning father. Good morning sister 1.2055 0.05839 73 61 9 3
7824 Our cones could have sex if our heads were gone. 1.2055 0.05503 73 60 11 2
7825 I was just so happy this was the reason we "went for a drive", I did't care how they put this on me.. 1.2055 0.05146 73 59 13 1
7826 I know,right? And I sometimes I can even convince him to wear the leash and to take him for a walk at the people park. 1.2055 0.06746 73 64 3 6
7827 What kind of best friend tells you it’s just a pedicure? 1.2055 0.05503 73 60 11 2
7828 To be as aerodynamic as me, just run backwards. 1.2055 0.05839 73 61 9 3
7829 Now I understand the difference between an “innie” and an “outie”. 1.2055 0.04762 73 58 15 0
7830 I like to see the dog cone half full. 1.2055 0.05503 73 60 11 2
7831 My owner's thought I was so bright, I needed a Lampshade... 1.2055 0.05503 73 60 11 2
7832 My human is a priest and demands I wear it this way. 1.2055 0.06156 73 62 7 4
7833 I already got the second vaccine. I can see that you only got your first shot. I told you to sign up on that site with me. 1.2055 0.04762 73 58 15 0
7834 Well, you know the old saying — ‘Don’t let the outfit wear you.’ 1.2055 0.05839 73 61 9 3
7835 I thought you said ‘ruff’ 1.2055 0.05503 73 60 11 2
7836 Ignore these lampshades, I’ll lick your wounds if you lick mine. 1.2055 0.05503 73 60 11 2
7837 Who is your plastic surgeon? 1.2055 0.05146 73 59 13 1
7838 I will never understand why they made these collars magnetic 1.2055 0.04762 73 58 15 0
7839 It's a funny story, but it boils down to, my person is dyslexic 1.2055 0.05503 73 60 11 2
7840 So, that's what they are wearing in Paris this year. 1.2055 0.05146 73 59 13 1
7841 You just need to show your owner the right website. 1.2055 0.05503 73 60 11 2
7842 Jokes on them this time, right? 1.2055 0.05146 73 59 13 1
7843 Believe me Fred, you are lucky your owner knows better. You should see where he feeds me pills. 1.2055 0.05146 73 59 13 1
7844 Yump, this is a circumcision joke. Pigskin, foreskin, whatever — i’ll see yuh next week, Lenny. Be safe. 1.2055 0.04762 73 58 15 0
7845 I saw it on TikTok!” “I’ve been doing it wrong all these years! 1.2055 0.04762 73 58 15 0
7846 Whoa, you got an ‘outie’?! 1.2055 0.05503 73 60 11 2
7847 Windy City, eh? 1.2055 0.06156 73 62 7 4
7848 Trust me, it's way more aerodynamic. 1.2055 0.05146 73 59 13 1
7849 I’m trying to become an influencer. 1.2055 0.05146 73 59 13 1
7850 Yes . . . This IS a one-sided discussion! 1.2051 0.04950 78 63 14 1
7851 Yours isn't so bad: it's just more Little House on the Prairie than Tower of London. 1.2051 0.05583 78 65 10 3
7852 Less wind drag. 1.2051 0.05276 78 64 12 2
7853 My owner drives a convertible 1.2051 0.06415 78 68 4 6
7854 I'm not a slave to fashion. 1.2051 0.05583 78 65 10 3
7855 Actually I'm really starting to like these. 1.2051 0.05276 78 64 12 2
7856 I thought I deserved a cheat day. 1.2051 0.05276 78 64 12 2
7857 What directions? 1.2051 0.05583 78 65 10 3
7858 If you turn it around it makes you look 2 dog years younger. 1.2051 0.05276 78 64 12 2
7859 It's my superhero outfit. I'm the "Cone Ranger" 1.2051 0.05276 78 64 12 2
7860 You are wearing it wrong. 1.2051 0.05276 78 64 12 2
7861 'Woof woof woof woof!' (dogs don't talk, you moron) 1.2051 0.04950 78 63 14 1
7862 Oh boy, your fashion is so outdated! No one wants to look like the jumping lamp from Pixar nowadays. 1.2051 0.05276 78 64 12 2
7863 You lick me and I’ll lick you! 1.2051 0.05276 78 64 12 2
7864 Dr. Melman said they always do it this way after breast augmentation. 1.2051 0.05583 78 65 10 3
7865 It's the Chanel Pilgrim Collar from 2020. Yours? 1.2051 0.05583 78 65 10 3
7866 I’ll lick yours if you gnaw mine. 1.2051 0.04950 78 63 14 1
7867 Trans? 1.2051 0.05873 78 66 8 4
7868 It's not a cone of shame, if you look like a clown. 1.2051 0.04950 78 63 14 1
7869 Elizabethan? Nights Templar. 1.2051 0.05873 78 66 8 4
7870 I'm a trend setter. The ladies go crazy for it. 1.2051 0.04950 78 63 14 1
7871 How did you get an "outie" and I got an "innie"? 1.2051 0.05276 78 64 12 2
7872 Oh......I’m an avant-garde dog. 1.2051 0.05276 78 64 12 2
7873 My Democrat owner encourages me to lick my wounds. 1.2051 0.05276 78 64 12 2
7874 Yeah, I'm just not buying it. 1.2051 0.05583 78 65 10 3
7875 Funny you should ask. Yes, I’m an innie. 1.2051 0.05431 78 67 7 4
7876 I'll scratch your itch when you need it buddy! 1.2051 0.05583 78 65 10 3
7877 Yeah mine works the same, but it's more aerodynamic. 1.2051 0.05583 78 65 10 3
7878 I can't either, but look at the bright side - I can still sniff your ass and you can sniff mine! 1.2051 0.05583 78 65 10 3
7879 She thinks my Ujjayi breath is more robust this way, but my downward-facing dog just hasn’t been the same. 1.2051 0.05276 78 64 12 2
7880 Ah, I see- still a rookie. 1.2051 0.05276 78 64 12 2
7881 Now I know what it's like to not feel heard! 1.2051 0.05583 78 65 10 3
7882 We decided to try a new look for Fashion Week. 1.2051 0.04950 78 63 14 1
7883 It’s my First Amendment right. 1.2051 0.05873 78 66 8 4
7884 You should really adopt some of these lifehacks. I can get to the toilet water again like this. 1.2051 0.05276 78 64 12 2
7885 My human said he heard about it on the Internet 1.2051 0.04950 78 63 14 1
7886 Yeah, I used to wear mine like that, but this way it's easier to lick my butt. 1.2048 0.05073 83 68 13 2
7887 You're a dog. I'm a dog. What's the difference? 1.2048 0.05355 83 69 11 3
7888 Are you having trouble hearing, dear? 1.2048 0.04775 83 67 15 1
7889 Puritan revival. 1.2048 0.04775 83 67 15 1
7890 It's not bad. I think yours is backwards. 1.2048 0.05355 83 69 11 3
7891 Mine was much more expensive... 1.2048 0.05073 83 68 13 2
7892 I really wish our owner did not like to play " one of these is not like the other " 1.2048 0.05073 83 68 13 2
7893 This is the 2021 ergonomic one that helps me fetch frisbees more efficiently 1.2048 0.05073 83 68 13 2
7894 Interested in joining my RBG cosplay group? 1.2048 0.05355 83 69 11 3
7895 I consider it a fashion statement. 1.2048 0.04775 83 67 15 1
7896 You know how you have that cone to stop you from scratching your face. Well, like the same thing happened to me except I kept getting caught pleasuring myself using auto erotic asphyxiation. 1.2048 0.05623 83 70 9 4
7897 yours obscures your beautiful face 1.2048 0.05355 83 69 11 3
7898 I'm making a fashion statement 1.2048 0.04457 83 66 17 0
7899 I know it’s a COVID risk, but at least I can hear you now. 1.2048 0.05073 83 68 13 2
7900 Mine is better suited as a fashion statement. 1.2048 0.05073 83 68 13 2
7901 Let me guess,your parents usually wear their face masks below their nose? 1.2048 0.05623 83 70 9 4
7902 Can't you see I'm protesting? 1.2048 0.05073 83 68 13 2
7903 Yes, I’m sure. 1.2048 0.05355 83 69 11 3
7904 If you turn your cone around, you'll be a Democrat. 1.2048 0.05073 83 68 13 2
7905 It's a yin yang thing 1.2048 0.05878 83 71 7 5
7906 Backwards day, again? 1.2048 0.04775 83 67 15 1
7907 That looks so cute. I've never thought of wearing it that way. 1.2048 0.05355 83 69 11 3
7908 No, it's suppose to be a Van Dyke collar 1.2048 0.05073 83 68 13 2
7909 Guess who dressed me, this is what a year of COVID does to your master 1.2048 0.04457 83 68 14 1
7910 Do I know you 1.2048 0.05073 83 68 13 2
7911 Stop worrying. Relax. Get the weight off your shoulders. 1.2048 0.04775 83 67 15 1
7912 Join the resistance! Do not cone*form! 1.2048 0.05073 83 68 13 2
7913 Dang, Larry. I must be in the upside-down. 1.2048 0.05355 83 69 11 3
7914 I’m the alpha dog 1.2048 0.05355 83 69 11 3
7915 Flip it and reverse it 1.2048 0.05355 83 69 11 3
7916 I smell a low pressure front moving in...followed by heavy rain. 1.2048 0.04775 83 67 15 1
7917 Dad morning, huh? 1.2048 0.05355 83 69 11 3
7918 First masks now this. What’s next? A leash?? 1.2048 0.05623 83 70 9 4
7919 And I suppose that little room they call toilet isn’t a never-ending water bowl either. 1.2045 0.04617 88 71 16 1
7920 It’s surprisingly effective! 1.2045 0.04891 88 72 14 2
7921 Listen! You scratch my back and I'll lick your butt. 1.2045 0.05152 88 73 12 3
7922 You clearly know nothing of aerodynamics. 1.2045 0.05399 88 74 10 4
7923 It's Shakespeare, darling, fix it now. 1.2045 0.05152 88 73 12 3
7924 I’m going for a more streamlined look. 1.2045 0.05152 88 73 12 3
7925 Cone of shame or trash can lid? 1.2045 0.04891 88 72 14 2
7926 User's manual? I don't need no stinkin' user's manual. 1.2045 0.04617 88 71 16 1
7927 it just means i'm innocent. trust me. 1.2045 0.04325 88 70 18 0
7928 True, I lick the wound more, but my mileage has really improved. 1.2045 0.04617 88 71 16 1
7929 No matter what you wear, you are who you are. 1.2045 0.05152 88 73 12 3
7930 It's both stylish & aerodynamic! 1.2045 0.05636 88 75 8 5
7931 I know you can hear me, I was just saying that I prefer the collar” 1.2045 0.05399 88 74 10 4
7932 Both dogs simultaneously: "I think you're doing that wrong" 1.2045 0.05152 88 73 12 3
7933 Makes it easier to smell butts " 1.2043 0.04727 93 76 15 2
7934 If we're to reverse the system, we've got to start somewhere... 1.2043 0.04727 93 76 15 2
7935 I saw Jeff Goldblum wear one this way. 1.2043 0.04968 93 77 13 3
7936 Just go straight up to a cooling fan and, hello tail ! 1.2043 0.05198 93 78 11 4
7937 It’s a better look for me, but I’m on the honor system. 1.2043 0.05198 93 78 11 4
7938 Mine’s solely to mollify the base. I voted to convict. 1.2043 0.04473 93 75 17 1
7939 It’s a feature. 1.2043 0.04473 93 75 17 1
7940 Oh I wish I could but my hands are full. 1.2043 0.04204 93 74 19 0
7941 I have an outtie! 1.2043 0.04968 93 77 13 3
7942 I’m getting so many more hits on Bumble now! 1.2043 0.04727 93 76 15 2
7943 Kennel cough case numbers are only going up because they're starting to test more often. 1.2041 0.04802 98 81 14 3
7944 I can do the licking for both of us. 1.2041 0.04802 98 81 14 3
7945 That's just the way it is. Some of us are innies and some are outies. 1.2041 0.04802 98 81 14 3
7946 We’ve been lampooned! 1.2041 0.05016 98 82 12 4
7947 The pyramids inspired me 1.2041 0.04577 98 80 16 2
7948 They're trying the untraditional parenting method. 1.2039 0.04441 103 84 17 2
7949 It's now a ruff. Get it? Dog? Ruff? 1.2037 0.04315 108 88 18 2
7950 It's a new healing paradigm 1.2037 0.04315 108 88 18 2
7951 Why did they name you "Downwind"? 1.2031 0.06370 64 54 7 3
7952 just rub their stomach and they'll do whatever you want 1.2031 0.06370 64 54 7 3
7953 You say ‘Potato,’ I say ‘Po-tah-to.’ 1.2031 0.05537 64 52 11 1
7954 Forward is better than backward, isn't it? 1.2031 0.05069 64 51 13 0
7955 Use the leaf blower 1.2031 0.06370 64 54 7 3
7956 You need to broaden your horizons. 1.2031 0.05537 64 52 11 1
7957 Wind resistance, aerodynamics, why do you ask" 1.2031 0.05537 64 52 11 1
7958 I'm a spaceship! What are you supposed to be? 1.2031 0.05968 64 53 9 2
7959 I keep it as a memento of my self-discipline. 1.2029 0.05684 69 57 10 2
7960 Well...one of us had to change! 1.2029 0.05684 69 57 10 2
7961 It still keeps me from licking... you know, where I shouldn't, but I can run a lot faster this way. 1.2029 0.04877 69 55 14 0
7962 Well he's an engineer, and likes to brag that I have a low "coefficient of dog." 1.2029 0.05296 69 56 12 1
7963 I'm being trained to be more aggressive. 1.2029 0.05684 69 57 10 2
7964 No, it's the same kind. You just turn it around and wear it the other way. 1.2029 0.04877 69 55 14 0
7965 Backwards is just wrong. You're a dog and I'm a God." 1.2029 0.05296 69 56 12 1
7966 Well, you know they say wearing two really is the best 1.2029 0.05684 69 57 10 2
7967 Next time they throw shade, you'll be ready. 1.2029 0.05296 69 56 12 1
7968 Admitting you have "Cone Shame" is the first step. 1.2029 0.06047 69 58 8 3
7969 Dale Jr. suggested I visit the wind tunnel. 1.2029 0.05684 69 57 10 2
7970 Windy,huh? 1.2029 0.06047 69 58 8 3
7971 That explains the echo! 1.2029 0.06047 69 58 8 3
7972 Kept getting sucked out the car window till I started wearing like this 1.2029 0.05684 69 57 10 2
7973 The damn thing still keeps me from chewing myself, but it's way better aerodynamically. 1.2029 0.05296 69 56 12 1
7974 You're wearing your mask all wrong. 1.2029 0.05296 69 56 12 1
7975 Just tell them you're a super-hero 1.2029 0.04877 69 55 14 0
7976 “ quite a storm today eh?” 1.2029 0.06047 69 58 8 3
7977 A blast of wind gave me some help 1.2029 0.05296 69 56 12 1
7978 I kissed a dog that had a cone like yours and now it's stuck around my neck. 1.2029 0.05296 69 56 12 1
7979 Honey, do you like my new skirt? 1.2029 0.04653 69 57 11 1
7980 I’m an English Pointer so my owner thought this would feel more natural.” 1.2027 0.04705 74 59 15 0
7981 Why? Are you hard of hearing? 1.2027 0.05435 74 61 11 2
7982 I just thought a lamp-shade should light up the face 1.2027 0.05083 74 60 13 1
7983 Don't worry...I still can't reach! 1.2027 0.05435 74 61 11 2
7984 Oh, no. They're both still there. This is just a lamp shade. 1.2027 0.05083 74 60 13 1
7985 This too shall pass. 1.2027 0.05083 74 60 13 1
7986 Wearing it this way broadens my perspective. 1.2027 0.05435 74 61 11 2
7987 Spanish woof sounds better and the Spanish ruff looks better too. 1.2027 0.05083 74 60 13 1
7988 I thought a 'Heads-up display' referred to something else... 1.2027 0.05083 74 60 13 1
7989 It’s all in the neck, my friend. 1.2027 0.05083 74 60 13 1
7990 I knew I was different when I saw my first James Bond movie and felt a real connection with 007. 1.2027 0.05435 74 61 11 2
7991 Reverse psychology” 1.2027 0.05766 74 62 9 3
7992 I’m blown away. . . 1.2027 0.05083 74 60 13 1
7993 This way is more aerodynamic and makes me safer and faster when I chase cars. 1.2027 0.05083 74 60 13 1
7994 I've always known these collars are a scam. 1.2027 0.05435 74 61 11 2
7995 You're fashion choice is so last year! 1.2027 0.05083 74 60 13 1
7996 This is what happens when your human is not very smart. 1.2027 0.05766 74 62 9 3
7997 Lucky you. 95% protected from bad food. 1.2027 0.04705 74 59 15 0
7998 Yes...But it keeps the fleas and ticks from licking my suture. 1.2027 0.05435 74 61 11 2
7999 The park pack's comment on my hip new cone? "Bow WOW!" 1.2027 0.05083 74 60 13 1
8000 That's what it does to you buddy, too much human interaction. 1.2027 0.05435 74 61 11 2
8001 Conformity blows! 1.2027 0.05083 74 60 13 1
8002 It’s for aerodynamics AND fashion 1.2027 0.05435 74 61 11 2
8003 I’m in the dog house. Looks like you’ve been promoted to super dog. 1.2027 0.04705 74 59 15 0
8004 This is not how you do a Pixar logo. 1.2027 0.05766 74 62 9 3
8005 I'm trying something new. What do you think? 1.2027 0.05083 74 60 13 1
8006 Shall we have dinner? 1.2027 0.05083 74 60 13 1
8007 Don’t worry, I’ve been vaccinated! 1.2027 0.06376 74 64 5 5
8008 Pretty windy today, isn't it? 1.2027 0.05435 74 61 11 2
8009 There's no shame. Just feel it, accept it and be yourself. 1.2025 0.05215 79 65 12 2
8010 Your are soooo 2019 1.2025 0.05215 79 65 12 2
8011 This is how our humans know males from females. 1.2025 0.04894 79 64 14 1
8012 Dog cones are for dogs! 1.2025 0.05804 79 67 8 4
8013 It hurts no matter which way it goes, but I can still kiss you. 1.2025 0.04894 79 64 14 1
8014 For the last time, it has to cover your nose. 1.2025 0.05518 79 66 10 3
8015 This is a legitimate question: why would this not work as intended? 1.2025 0.05518 79 66 10 3
8016 I’ll rip out your stitches if you rip out mine! 1.2025 0.05215 79 65 12 2
8017 You see Ruby, you have put yours on the wrong way. Look at how I've done mine," mansplained Toby 1.2025 0.05518 79 66 10 3
8018 It's how they're wearing them in France. 1.2025 0.05215 79 65 12 2
8019 My Veterinarian gave me a lollipop after surgery Frank Buckley Andover, MA 1.2025 0.04550 79 63 16 0
8020 Who cares? Lots of humans wear theirs wrong. 1.2025 0.05215 79 65 12 2
8021 I just find this way to be so much more aerodynamic... 1.2025 0.04894 79 64 14 1
8022 I don't know about you, but I'm just making a fashion statement." 1.2025 0.05215 79 65 12 2
8023 I'm known for being fashion forward! 1.2025 0.04894 79 64 14 1
8024 Yin and Yang 1.2025 0.06077 79 68 6 5
8025 It keeps the drool from running down my chest. 1.2025 0.05215 79 65 12 2
8026 They told me it was hand made. 1.2025 0.04894 79 64 14 1
8027 You stand on that hill facing into the wind. Works every time. 1.2025 0.05215 79 65 12 2
8028 Yes, it’s the same as yours except that my vet also sells it as a fashion accessory. 1.2025 0.04894 79 64 14 1
8029 I just got neutered, you?" "Oh I just got stuck in a lampshade" 😂🐶 1.2025 0.05518 79 66 10 3
8030 The signal is the same I promise, it’s just the feedback you have to worry about. 1.2025 0.05518 79 66 10 3
8031 Just went for a car ride huh? 1.2025 0.04894 79 64 14 1
8032 How about that? You’re an innie and I’m an outie. Weird! 1.2025 0.05215 79 65 12 2
8033 Told her it was an Elizabethan dog collar. 1.2025 0.05215 79 65 12 2
8034 What can I say? My owners are dyslexic. 1.2024 0.05813 84 72 7 5
8035 Just run really really fast! 1.2024 0.05561 84 71 9 4
8036 At least I still get to ride in the back of the truck. 1.2024 0.05019 84 69 13 2
8037 Your hat’s on ass backwards! 1.2024 0.05019 84 69 13 2
8038 When he told me he graduated from Yale, I told him could run with the wind if he turned the collar around. 1.2024 0.05019 84 69 13 2
8039 Hey pilgrim your collar is on wrong. 1.2024 0.05019 84 69 13 2
8040 Melvin, you have to learn to think outside the box. 1.2024 0.05019 84 69 13 2
8041 If it makes you feel half-empty, than I should feel half-full. 1.2024 0.05019 84 69 13 2
8042 My owner is anti-vaxxer, but says these cones make me look slimmer 1.2024 0.05561 84 71 9 4
8043 This one keeps me from licking my ass. 1.2024 0.04724 84 68 15 1
8044 I wanted to try something different. I found this one at Macy's. Like it? 1.2024 0.04724 84 68 15 1
8045 I think you are on to something there 1.2024 0.05297 84 70 11 3
8046 They changed it after they watched The Handmaid's Tale! 1.2024 0.05019 84 69 13 2
8047 You are an innie, I am an outie and that's were puppies come from. 1.2024 0.05561 84 71 9 4
8048 Hey man,you got the cone of shame too? 1.2024 0.05019 84 69 13 2
8049 I thought it was a skirt. 1.2024 0.05019 84 69 13 2
8050 It's aerodynamic, silly 1.2024 0.04724 84 68 15 1
8051 You're wearing it incorrectly. 1.2024 0.05297 84 70 11 3
8052 Yeah,I'm a Trump supporter. Why are you askin? 1.2024 0.05561 84 71 9 4
8053 First they think you're crazy, then they fight you, and then all of a sudden you change the world. 1.2024 0.05019 84 69 13 2
8054 I call this my Dissent Cone of Shame 1.2024 0.05019 84 69 13 2
8055 No Karen, that's not how we wear masks here. 1.2024 0.05561 84 71 9 4
8056 I was told it’s a french collar 1.2024 0.05019 84 69 13 2
8057 Flipping the funnel backwards gives you better hindsight 1.2024 0.05297 84 70 11 3
8058 Umm, its called fashion 1.2024 0.05019 84 69 13 2
8059 I prefer the sport model with a manual shifter. 1.2022 0.04570 89 72 16 1
8060 Nothing like a ride in a convertible! 1.2022 0.05343 89 75 10 4
8061 Oh, they actually said I should be licking my own dick more frequently. 1.2022 0.05343 89 75 10 4
8062 It’s how they wear them in Europe. 1.2022 0.04842 89 73 14 2
8063 Either way, I believe the outcome is the same. 1.2022 0.04282 89 71 18 0
8064 Fred, there is a lot to be said for a nearsighted master. 1.2022 0.05099 89 74 12 3
8065 It’s the latest in fashion. 1.2022 0.04570 89 72 16 1
8066 It makes such a difference in how you see the world. 1.2022 0.05099 89 74 12 3
8067 gen z gave that a hard no. 1.2022 0.04842 89 73 14 2
8068 But who wore it better? 1.2022 0.04842 89 73 14 2
8069 It pays to be a "good boy." 1.2022 0.04842 89 73 14 2
8070 Yeah, the wind can be really strong this time of year. 1.2022 0.04282 89 71 18 0
8071 But we were made for each other! 1.2022 0.04570 89 72 16 1
8072 Concave? Convex? What’s yours? 1.2022 0.04842 89 73 14 2
8073 Do you get much of an echo when you howl at the moon? 1.2022 0.04842 89 73 14 2
8074 It's so I can chase cars even when it's windy out. 1.2022 0.04842 89 73 14 2
8075 Get better reception that way. 1.2022 0.05343 89 75 10 4
8076 This one doesn't spark joy 1.2022 0.04842 89 73 14 2
8077 It's called solidarity without the restrictions. 1.2022 0.05099 89 74 12 3
8078 You keep doing your Shakespeare, I go with a more futuristic style... 1.2022 0.05343 89 75 10 4
8079 they said “go fetch”... 1.2022 0.05099 89 74 12 3
8080 Wait, say that again. 1.2021 0.05147 94 79 11 4
8081 Yeah, it's a lot more aerodynamic this way. 1.2021 0.04920 94 78 13 3
8082 I trip over a scarf but this hides my neck wrinkles. 1.2021 0.05147 94 79 11 4
8083 I’m just saying, if the stitches work, why do you need the cone? 1.2021 0.04682 94 77 15 2
8084 So you get ALL your news from Instagram? 1.2021 0.04920 94 78 13 3
8085 Hey, pal . I’m just like you, but perspective is everything. I choose to see the ‘cone of shame’ as limitless possibilities. 1.2020 0.04758 99 82 14 3
8086 Whoa, your cone has blind spot detection? I’m so jealous! 1.2020 0.04536 99 81 16 2
8087 I've decided to make a fashion statement. 1.2020 0.04969 99 83 12 4
8088 I know when I’m licked. 1.2000 0.05369 75 62 11 2
8089 The doc said its more politically correct this way! 1.2000 0.04364 85 68 17 0
8090 Mine’s an Eton. 1.2000 0.05460 65 53 11 1
8091 If you pay me, I’ll gnaw your itch. 1.2000 0.05156 80 66 12 2
8092 This is exactly why I want to keep my employer-provided insurance. 1.2000 0.05519 90 77 8 5
8093 It's all the rage in Paris. 1.2000 0.04965 85 70 13 2
8094 Oh, no no, I'm fine, thanks. This is a sail for when I'm skateboarding. 1.2000 0.04525 90 73 16 1
8095 Yeah, yours doesn’t have a point either. Technically we should be calling them conical frustums. 1.2000 0.05156 80 66 12 2
8096 My guess is that it is some kind of kinky sex toy 1.2000 0.05228 70 57 12 1
8097 The wind on First Ave. was a bitch this morning... I could hardly stand on three legs! 1.2000 0.05288 90 76 10 4
8098 One of us is lost in the space time continuum. 1.2000 0.04839 80 65 14 1
8099 I see you’re still doing everything by the book, Bowser.. 1.2000 0.05156 80 66 12 2
8100 I like to think that this way it's a cone of pride. 1.2000 0.04815 70 56 14 0
8101 I get five miles to the can extra. 1.2000 0.05724 60 49 10 1
8102 We are a good fit. 1.2000 0.05022 75 61 13 1
8103 The kids on TikTok say you look middle-aged if you wear it that way. 1.2000 0.05610 70 58 10 2
8104 They're not bright. 1.2000 0.05454 80 67 10 3
8105 Boy, this is ruff. 1.2000 0.05500 85 72 9 4
8106 It's an Elizabethan Collar as the Elizabethans wore them. Ruff, Ruff, Ruff! 1.2000 0.04793 90 74 14 2
8107 Aerodynamic, Walter, aerodynamic. 1.2000 0.04650 75 60 15 0
8108 I just went to a bris. 1.2000 0.05156 80 66 12 2
8109 I started an entire #mepoop protest until I made this much progress. 1.2000 0.05883 65 54 9 2
8110 Yea, he's a great vet. He even gives me Puppy Uppers without a scrip! 1.2000 0.05022 75 61 13 1
8111 I'm telling you, the "cone of dignity" really changed my perspective. It's given me a whole new leash on life. 1.2000 0.03797 75 63 11 1
8112 But I'm the male. 1.2000 0.06003 75 64 7 4
8113 Ever since I smelled my own butt, I haven't felt like myself. 1.2000 0.05500 85 72 9 4
8114 So last year. 1.2000 0.05724 60 49 10 1
8115 Honest. No one cares if you've got an innie or an outie. 1.2000 0.06638 60 51 6 3
8116 I'm recovering from a broken heart. 1.2000 0.04364 85 68 17 0
8117 Obviously, you're not familiar with Bernoulli's principle. 1.2000 0.05967 70 59 8 3
8118 Might I suggest you hire a new dresser? 1.2000 0.05097 95 80 11 4
8119 It's the latest--COB! Cone on Backwards, all the cool dudes do it. 1.2000 0.05369 75 62 11 2
8120 Look at it this way - you could be a cat. 1.2000 0.05695 75 63 9 3
8121 Mine is a "ruff"led collar 1.2000 0.05022 75 61 13 1
8122 They put these on so you know that I'm a guy and you are a girl! 1.2000 0.05454 80 67 10 3
8123 Your collar - that's really Ruff, man. 1.2000 0.04839 80 65 14 1
8124 Yours is an outtie, mine’s an innie. 1.2000 0.05239 85 71 11 3
8125 Vasovasectomy 1.2000 0.05369 75 62 11 2
8126 Much better to be an "outie" than an "innie"! 1.2000 0.05228 70 57 12 1
8127 You were wise to get a second opinion. 1.2000 0.05967 70 59 8 3
8128 “ I look like a nun wearing a wimple but you look like you are wearing a lampshade” 1.2000 0.05472 60 51 7 2
8129 Wanna hook up? 1.2000 0.04815 70 56 14 0
8130 I think mine works as a look, and it's not as confining. 1.2000 0.05500 85 72 9 4
8131 My therapist helped me turn my frown in-side-out. 1.2000 0.04965 85 70 13 2
8132 I chased a cony and went down a rabbit hole. 1.2000 0.04650 75 60 15 0
8133 It's a fashion statement that works just as well. 1.2000 0.04674 85 69 15 1
8134 Baba Booey 1.2000 0.04525 90 73 16 1
8135 Yeah, but I can’t wear my favorite sweater. 1.2000 0.05500 85 72 9 4
8136 C'mon. Ten bones isn' too much to show you how. 1.2000 0.04674 85 69 15 1
8137 They said that it works any way around. 1.2000 0.05022 75 61 13 1
8138 Your breath smells like butt. Well your butt smells like Rosies! 1.2000 0.05967 70 59 8 3
8139 You should have been there. Everyone on the conga line wore a lampshade. 1.2000 0.05883 65 54 9 2
8140 You just got outconed. 1.2000 0.05737 80 68 8 4
8141 Sucks about your peripheral vision! 1.2000 0.04793 90 74 14 2
8142 Awwww,Lindsey(?!) 1.2000 0.05022 75 61 13 1
8143 When I was told there would be throwing,I didn’t know they meant shade. 1.2000 0.05454 80 67 10 3
8144 I can still lick my ass. How ‘bout you? 1.2000 0.05610 70 58 10 2
8145 Actually I didn't have surgery. I got into my owner's collection of chef hats yesterday. 1.2000 0.05695 75 63 9 3
8146 I bet your owner got one of those reverse mortgages too,huh? 1.2000 0.05610 70 58 10 2
8147 Ok, you are Yang, and not Yin 1.2000 0.05022 75 61 13 1
8148 This way it makes you look longer as well. 1.2000 0.05883 65 54 9 2
8149 It’s completely ineffective to wear it this way, but I’ve got a rep to protect after all. 1.2000 0.04525 90 73 16 1
8150 Everything looks better on me. 1.2000 0.04240 90 72 18 0
8151 Everyone knows who wore it best. 1.2000 0.04126 95 76 19 0
8152 This is how the kids are wearing it now. 1.2000 0.04839 80 65 14 1
8153 I know it’s fake shame, but I just like the sympathy. 1.2000 0.05228 70 57 12 1
8154 So which way blocks farts best ? 1.2000 0.05737 80 68 8 4
8155 Trump won! 1.2000 0.05239 85 71 11 3
8156 It does make your snout a look a little bulbous. 1.2000 0.05156 80 66 12 2
8157 It is a new look I am trying. 1.2000 0.05610 70 58 10 2
8158 A Democrat or a Republican ? 1.2000 0.05156 80 66 12 2
8159 I’ve never seen an outie in real life before 1.2000 0.06305 70 60 6 4
8160 Actually I run faster 1.2000 0.05156 80 66 12 2
8161 Nice virus catcher. 1.2000 0.04674 85 69 15 1
8162 It's called fashion, Dave. 1.2000 0.05369 75 62 11 2
8163 I’m a fashion influencer-check out my Instagram page 1.2000 0.05369 75 62 11 2
8164 They didn’t read the instructions but it turned out OK. 1.2000 0.04500 80 64 16 0
8165 We can smooch this way! 1.2000 0.04650 75 60 15 0
8166 They even let me pick my own pronouns! 1.2000 0.04500 80 64 16 0
8167 It makes me feel like I'm wearing Superman's cape. 1.2000 0.05369 75 62 11 2
8168 I joined Parler Because they let me wear a freedom cone 1.2000 0.04766 105 88 13 4
8169 Don't tell me you trust the CDC. 1.2000 0.05369 75 62 11 2
8170 Honey, what you're wearing is so last year. 1.2000 0.05883 65 54 9 2
8171 Ad: Two dogs lost in or around a Lamps Plus store. Reward$$ 1.2000 0.04494 65 56 7 2
8172 So much for that Old Dog/New Trick chestnut 1.2000 0.04815 70 56 14 0
8173 I know *they* say to wear it like you, but I know my rights. 1.2000 0.05369 75 62 11 2
8174 In almost every other way, rabbis and priests are the same! 1.2000 0.05022 75 61 13 1
8175 Is this the new trend? 1.2000 0.05967 70 59 8 3
8176 They said this would be comical, but I don't find it funny at all. 1.2000 0.05228 70 57 12 1
8177 That's what you get for belonging to THAT party! 1.2000 0.05369 75 62 11 2
8178 "Manny, I know how to turn these around to look fashionable. 1.2000 0.05883 65 54 9 2
8179 I got a dog park accommodation 1.2000 0.04389 95 77 17 1
8180 #1 Yet another reason I love my Gay's 1.2000 0.05228 70 57 12 1
8181 We're no longer compatible. Sorry. 1.2000 0.05047 90 75 12 3
8182 My veterinarian is not too sharp, not I’m not complaining. 1.2000 0.05239 85 71 11 3
8183 My vet says that wearing it this way gives a dog more dignity. Hah! If it's so dignified, why isn't he wearing one?? 1.2000 0.04637 95 78 15 2
8184 You be the choir boy, I’ll be the Priest. 1.2000 0.05156 80 66 12 2
8185 My vet says it's on-trend. 1.2000 0.05610 70 58 10 2
8186 I told you we"re opposite thinkers 1.2000 0.04793 90 74 14 2
8187 Gazuntite! 1.2000 0.05454 80 67 10 3
8188 Just turn around, silly. 1.2000 0.05228 70 57 12 1
8189 I was like you until that wind storm early this morning. 1.2000 0.05454 80 67 10 3
8190 I'll scratch your head if you'll scratch my ears. 1.2000 0.05239 85 71 11 3
8191 Cone of shame, cape of shame 1.2000 0.05500 85 72 9 4
8192 My name is Karen, what is your name? 1.2000 0.05047 90 75 12 3
8193 Look, I’m aerodynamic 1.2000 0.06030 55 45 9 1
8194 May the road rise up to meet you. 1.2000 0.05369 75 62 11 2
8195 Popping your collar is SO 1995 1.2000 0.05312 95 81 9 5
8196 It’s more aerodynamic this way. Really. 1.2000 0.04793 90 74 14 2
8197 It’s how they wear them in Australia 1.2000 0.04965 85 70 13 2
8198 Have you ever tried wearing your shame doggy style? 1.2000 0.04872 95 79 13 3
8199 My owners are non conventional 1.2000 0.05737 80 68 8 4
8200 It must be destiny. 1.2000 0.05454 80 67 10 3
8201 We’re just two pups, in cups! 1.2000 0.05022 75 61 13 1
8202 I see skirt-potential. 1.2000 0.04965 85 70 13 2
8203 Updog 1.2000 0.06279 65 55 7 3
8204 It's called fashion. Have you heard of it? 1.2000 0.05724 60 49 10 1
8205 It's very avante-garde. 1.2000 0.06565 55 46 7 2
8206 It’s ok — I don’t bite :) 1.2000 0.05883 65 54 9 2
8207 You should see what I did with the fire hydrant. 1.2000 0.05610 70 58 10 2
8208 Do girls still like the popped collar look? @chuckezoo 1.2000 0.05239 85 71 11 3
8209 I am tttthhhuper dooooog! 1.2000 0.05047 90 75 12 3
8210 I was tired of all the blind spots”. 1.2000 0.05047 90 75 12 3
8211 It’s more about function vs fashion for me. 1.2000 0.05967 70 59 8 3
8212 It’s how the kids wear it these days, Greg 1.2000 0.05369 75 62 11 2
8213 It only works if your WHOLE head is covered. 1.1980 0.04226 101 82 18 1
8214 If we stand tail to tail we'll be a rocketship! 1.1980 0.04879 101 85 12 4
8215 These reversible collars are so in style. 1.1979 0.04348 96 78 17 1
8216 much easier to accessorize this way 1.1979 0.04826 96 80 13 3
8217 It's the latest trend 1.1978 0.04199 91 73 18 0
8218 This way you will be more aerodynamic. 1.1978 0.04745 91 75 14 2
8219 Hmm. Your way seems more comfortable. 1.1978 0.04996 91 76 12 3
8220 It's called fashion. Look it up! 1.1978 0.04996 91 76 12 3
8221 Win a few, lose a few! 1.1978 0.04480 91 74 16 1
8222 Yin Yang? 1.1978 0.04996 91 76 12 3
8223 Which human didn’t understand the mechanism? 1.1978 0.04745 91 75 14 2
8224 A pop-up collar? I haven't seen that since the '80s! 1.1978 0.04745 91 75 14 2
8225 Relax, Frankie. Let your cone down. 1.1978 0.04199 91 73 18 0
8226 Long night? Your lamp shade is upside down. 1.1978 0.04745 91 75 14 2
8227 Now the itches can't reach me. 1.1978 0.04480 91 74 16 1
8228 Hindsight is best 1.1978 0.04996 91 76 12 3
8229 You were the one that said relationships were all about compromise. 1.1978 0.04480 91 74 16 1
8230 It really helps if your owner is left-handed. 1.1978 0.04745 91 75 14 2
8231 I'm tired of the pandemic too! 1.1978 0.04480 91 74 16 1
8232 They're all about the fashion statement. 1.1978 0.04745 91 75 14 2
8233 Who says an outty and an inny aren't compatible? 1.1978 0.05463 91 78 8 5
8234 I just got unfixed. 1.1978 0.04745 91 75 14 2
8235 You'd be happier as a priest in my church. 1.1978 0.05234 91 77 10 4
8236 You call that reaching across the isle? 1.1978 0.04745 91 75 14 2
8237 You see Harold, I’m allowed to lick my paws just not my butt” 1.1978 0.04996 91 76 12 3
8238 god damn you anti-coners 1.1978 0.04745 91 75 14 2
8239 You're wearing yours, so what's the problem? 1.1977 0.05183 86 72 11 3
8240 My guy never asks for directions much. 1.1977 0.05441 86 73 9 4
8241 It'll never fly 1.1977 0.04912 86 71 13 2
8242 Some guys have innies and some have outies. 1.1977 0.04912 86 71 13 2
8243 The neighbors complained that we had put in a barking amplifier. 1.1977 0.05441 86 73 9 4
8244 The husband did mine. 1.1977 0.05441 86 73 9 4
8245 If you ever catch it, this is the reward! 1.1977 0.04625 86 70 15 1
8246 Yes, my human is a fashion designer. 1.1977 0.04912 86 71 13 2
8247 They stopped doing cones years ago. Now everyone gets collars. 1.1977 0.04912 86 71 13 2
8248 No, popped collars are not making a comeback! 1.1977 0.04320 86 69 17 0
8249 I’m pretty sure the popped collar is a “Dad” thing now. 1.1977 0.04912 86 71 13 2
8250 My owner drove over here really fast! 1.1977 0.05687 86 74 7 5
8251 Always a slave to fashion, imagine Fluffy’s embarrassment realizing she was wearing the “Köhn” incorrectly. 1.1977 0.05183 86 72 11 3
8252 Run real fast! 1.1977 0.04912 86 71 13 2
8253 Did you not see New York Fashion Week? You're wearing the collar wrong. 1.1977 0.04912 86 71 13 2
8254 you ever tried using an umbrella in the wind? 1.1977 0.04912 86 71 13 2
8255 My therapist told me to work on turning my shame around. I feel great! 1.1977 0.04320 86 69 17 0
8256 Vet was too far so I just took the lampshade 1.1977 0.05183 86 72 11 3
8257 My master has a problem following commands 1.1975 0.05671 81 69 8 4
8258 It's called upcycling ! 1.1975 0.05098 81 67 12 2
8259 Convince 'em to drive at 120 miles an hour, stick your head out the window but HOLD ON to something. 1.1975 0.04785 81 66 14 1
8260 Sup Innie. 1.1975 0.05392 81 68 10 3
8261 I received my PawhD in Aerodynamics at MIT. 1.1975 0.05098 81 67 12 2
8262 I'm just saying Rufus, cone of shame and lounge-wear are so 2020. 1.1975 0.04785 81 66 14 1
8263 I couldn't do anything with my hair today! 1.1975 0.05392 81 68 10 3
8264 Is that a dog cone or a lamp shade? 1.1975 0.04785 81 66 14 1
8265 I see you're still using the "University of Phoenix" vet 1.1975 0.05098 81 67 12 2
8266 Life has its reversals . . . but we're made for each other! 1.1975 0.05392 81 68 10 3
8267 I can tell the vet put your cone on after she made that upside down cake. 1.1975 0.05098 81 67 12 2
8268 Yeah, but it’s a cool popped collar! 1.1975 0.04785 81 66 14 1
8269 I’d say yours is rather more aristocratic. 1.1975 0.04785 81 66 14 1
8270 This guys got balls 1.1975 0.05392 81 68 10 3
8271 With a tailwind,I can achieve Mach 2! 1.1975 0.05671 81 69 8 4
8272 Oh my! Let me help you fix that! 1.1975 0.05098 81 67 12 2
8273 Oh Seymour, quit trying to look like Harry Styles. 1.1975 0.05098 81 67 12 2
8274 stick your head in a hole, then push - gets rid of the echo 1.1975 0.05098 81 67 12 2
8275 Would it surprise you if I told you my owner wears their mask like a chin diaper? 1.1975 0.05098 81 67 12 2
8276 My human is a rocket scientist. He's not too bright! 1.1975 0.05392 81 68 10 3
8277 I'm a trendsetter. 1.1975 0.04451 81 65 16 0
8278 Upside down? No way ... 1.1975 0.04451 81 65 16 0
8279 «Apparently, this is not Margaret Atwood’s cosplay convention... Again» 1.1975 0.05098 81 67 12 2
8280 It's supposed to save you from yourself, but I don't get it 1.1975 0.05671 81 69 8 4
8281 Popping the collar is so out 1.1975 0.04785 81 66 14 1
8282 ' Not Every Dog Has A Day ' 1.1975 0.05392 81 68 10 3
8283 When you own your “Cone of Shame” mantle, it becomes a “Collar of Acclaim. 1.1975 0.04785 81 66 14 1
8284 Kiss my ass! 1.1974 0.05626 76 64 9 3
8285 It's so aerodynamic. You wouldn't believe how quickly I can catch my tail now. 1.1974 0.04963 76 62 13 1
8286 That was some party last night boy. You were dancing up a storm even before you stuck your head in that lampshade. 1.1974 0.05929 76 65 7 4
8287 How many Handmaid's Tales are two many? 1.1974 0.05305 76 63 11 2
8288 I'll do anything for love, but I won't do that 1.1974 0.04963 76 62 13 1
8289 My mommy’s dyslexic...dysgraphic type 1.1974 0.04963 76 62 13 1
8290 Too bad you didn’t see Spot run. 1.1974 0.05626 76 64 9 3
8291 The fact that you're an outie, and I'm an innie, doesn't concern me at all. What I want to know is...does your owner leave the seat up, or down? 1.1974 0.05626 76 64 9 3
8292 You coneheads! You're a rare breed! 1.1974 0.05626 76 64 9 3
8293 It’s not what you do, it’s how you do it! 1.1974 0.04963 76 62 13 1
8294 He gave me an extra treat for testing some kind of tunnel. 1.1974 0.04963 76 62 13 1
8295 Yes, couture. New York is back. 1.1974 0.05929 76 65 7 4
8296 I dissent! 1.1974 0.04596 76 61 15 0
8297 She's dyslexic. but i love her. 1.1974 0.04963 76 62 13 1
8298 'So here's the story you're an inny and I'm an outie" 1.1974 0.05305 76 63 11 2
8299 This is not what was meant by the saying “art, imitating life ...” 1.1974 0.04963 76 62 13 1
8300 Hey,there's a ship called the Mayflower leaving for the new world where you don't have to wear that thing over your ears. 1.1974 0.05626 76 64 9 3
8301 You always had to go against the wind 1.1974 0.05626 76 64 9 3
8302 ...and there's far less drag when I'm chasing after that cat that scratched you... 1.1974 0.04963 76 62 13 1
8303 It's fashion, look it up. 1.1974 0.05929 76 65 7 4
8304 Mom said I'm an innie. you must be an outtie. 1.1974 0.04963 76 62 13 1
8305 It cost a little extra, sure, but I get way more butt-sniffing. 1.1974 0.05626 76 64 9 3
8306 It’s a ruff, not a cone. You know: ruff, ruff, ruff! 1.1974 0.04963 76 62 13 1
8307 Be careful where you scratch 1.1974 0.04963 76 62 13 1
8308 'You should see what the CATS are wearing!" 1.1974 0.05305 76 63 11 2
8309 Wow! You have an ‘innie’ and I have an ‘outtie’ 1.1974 0.05305 76 63 11 2
8310 They’re makin’ a fool of ya. 1.1974 0.05305 76 63 11 2
8311 It looks like we've been collared by cops from different precincts... 1.1974 0.05305 76 63 11 2
8312 I just ate a bowl of chili. Why do you ask? 1.1974 0.05626 76 64 9 3
8313 This way, I can eat however and whatever I want and never have to take a bath. 1.1974 0.04963 76 62 13 1
8314 The mask is supposed to cover your nose.. 1.1974 0.05305 76 63 11 2
8315 this way is much more aerodynamic for chasing squirrels 1.1972 0.05537 71 59 10 2
8316 Sure, if you agree to reciprocate when I need it. 1.1972 0.05161 71 58 12 1
8317 Let me dogsplain cone-wearing to you. 1.1972 0.05890 71 60 8 3
8318 Mr's Humphries is dyslectic, thank canine heavens! 1.1972 0.04312 71 58 13 0
8319 She doesn’t know which end is up... 1.1972 0.05161 71 58 12 1
8320 We’re trying inversion therapy. 1.1972 0.05537 71 59 10 2
8321 Mine is more Moderna. 1.1972 0.05537 71 59 10 2
8322 In Israel they read from right to left. 1.1972 0.05161 71 58 12 1
8323 I guess it's the Mother Hubbard vs. the Hester Prynne. 1.1972 0.05537 71 59 10 2
8324 Aww, just stick your head out of the car window! 1.1972 0.05537 71 59 10 2
8325 I requested the aerodynamic model; it's much better for chasing cars. 1.1972 0.05537 71 59 10 2
8326 Your amplified lies just roll off my back. 1.1972 0.04755 71 57 14 0
8327 I heard that the cool kids wear them backwards... I still can’t lick my balls though. 1.1972 0.05537 71 59 10 2
8328 Yours is nice, but mine is the latest Doggie Karan. 1.1972 0.04539 71 59 11 1
8329 I love its versatility 1.1972 0.05537 71 59 10 2
8330 Somehow I doubt mine is quite right. 1.1972 0.04755 71 57 14 0
8331 Flattering. Makes you look thinner. 1.1972 0.05537 71 59 10 2
8332 I see you have an outie. I got the innie. 1.1972 0.05537 71 59 10 2
8333 How's your live streaming now? 1.1972 0.04963 71 60 9 2
8334 I told the vet that short waves radio kept me awake at night. 1.1972 0.05537 71 59 10 2
8335 Either is fine because neither reduces corona transimission. 1.1972 0.05890 71 60 8 3
8336 Your owner is smarter. 1.1972 0.05537 71 59 10 2
8337 And my belly button is also an innie. 1.1972 0.05890 71 60 8 3
8338 Tell ya, what.. I'll scratch your back if you scratch mine. 1.1972 0.05537 71 59 10 2
8339 Stick your head out the window as usual. Hard initially, but you’ll be streamlined in no time. 1.1972 0.05537 71 59 10 2
8340 -If it's a bark amplifier, then you're wearing it wrong 1.1972 0.05890 71 60 8 3
8341 I chose seeing over walking.” 🤷🏻‍♂ 1.1972 0.05161 71 58 12 1
8342 The aerodynamics are way better in this direction, which I learned when I jumped off the stairs. 1.1970 0.05802 66 55 9 2
8343 Look at that, We go together! 1.1970 0.05385 66 54 11 1
8344 where did you go to school, it's not concave, it's convex. 1.1970 0.04933 66 53 13 0
8345 Clearly, we still need some work on our social distancing and masking protocols. 1.1970 0.05802 66 55 9 2
8346 How do you like my new spoiler? 1.1970 0.05385 66 54 11 1
8347 And I can run faster now, too! 1.1970 0.06190 66 56 7 3
8348 How many dogs d̲o̲e̲s̲ it take to screw in a light bulb? 1.1970 0.06190 66 56 7 3
8349 That design didn't work out so well on hunting trips to the lake country. 1.1970 0.06190 66 56 7 3
8350 All the youths are wearing them like this! 1.1970 0.05802 66 55 9 2
8351 I remember my first cone. 1.1970 0.06190 66 56 7 3
8352 Oh! Just have some fun with the wind blowing in your face. 1.1970 0.05385 66 54 11 1
8353 It’s avant-garde—I’ve turned a cone of shame Into a pinnacle of pride! 1.1970 0.04164 66 54 12 0
8354 Chance of rain: 50% 1.1970 0.06190 66 56 7 3
8355 If you can’t lick ‘em, join ‘em. 1.1970 0.05802 66 55 9 2
8356 Don’t feel bad. It may be a bit more stylish but I still can’t lick myself. 1.1967 0.06105 61 51 8 2
8357 It’s punk. 1.1967 0.06105 61 51 8 2
8358 My humans are pretty 1.1967 0.05639 61 50 10 1
8359 If I followed doctor's orders, how would I be able to do what he told me not to do? 1.1967 0.06105 61 51 8 2
8360 It's easy, I will show you how to do it. 1.1961 0.04415 102 84 16 2
8361 Love the tszujed collar! 1.1959 0.05000 97 82 11 4
8362 Have you heard the good news? 1.1959 0.04780 97 81 13 3
8363 This way my body can't bite back! 1.1959 0.04308 97 79 17 1
8364 Darn wind! 1.1959 0.04550 97 80 15 2
8365 You really need to upgrade from the 2020 model 1.1959 0.05000 97 82 11 4
8366 The squirrels were taking advantage of me. 1.1957 0.04698 92 76 14 2
8367 Seriously? You've never seen the Coneheads? 1.1957 0.05407 92 79 8 5
8368 Turns out that I have disrexia. 1.1957 0.04698 92 76 14 2
8369 I beg to differ. 1.1957 0.05624 92 80 6 6
8370 Now my human has a new design, for my other end. 1.1957 0.04159 92 74 18 0
8371 I am going with the lampshade look. 1.1957 0.04946 92 77 12 3
8372 I prefer the retro look. 1.1957 0.04698 92 76 14 2
8373 It's to cut down the wind resistance. 1.1954 0.04861 87 72 13 2
8374 My owner started wearing his mask with his nose out-- I figured I'd change up my look too. 1.1954 0.05383 87 74 9 4
8375 My owner has a wind tunnel. 1.1954 0.05128 87 73 11 3
8376 Wearing it this way makes getting the mask on so much easier 1.1954 0.04578 87 71 15 1
8377 Your collar is so “pre Covid”. 1.1954 0.04578 87 71 15 1
8378 The guy at the hardware store said that I'm the male part and you're the female part but I don't know exactly how it works. 1.1954 0.05128 87 73 11 3
8379 This way I have a bird dog's view! 1.1954 0.05128 87 73 11 3
8380 I got mine at a Boutique Veterinary Clinic. 1.1954 0.04276 87 70 17 0
8381 Hi, Victor, I'm Victoria. Nice to meet you. 1.1954 0.04861 87 72 13 2
8382 My ego is already feeling so much better. 1.1954 0.04578 87 71 15 1
8383 Same results......smoother look! 1.1954 0.05383 87 74 9 4
8384 They offered me protection, but I opted for speed. Bill Ferguson 1.1954 0.05128 87 73 11 3
8385 In my case, the bark is worse than the bite, and this keeps me from barking. 1.1954 0.05128 87 73 11 3
8386 It was making it hard for me to breathe 1.1954 0.04578 87 71 15 1
8387 Improvise. Adapt. OverCONE 1.1954 0.04578 87 71 15 1
8388 Next we storm the kennel. 1.1954 0.05128 87 73 11 3
8389 I think you’re supposed to cover your nose 1.1954 0.04861 87 72 13 2
8390 On the left an introvert, on the right an extrovert. 1.1954 0.04861 87 72 13 2
8391 This seems like a glass half empty or glass half full situation. 1.1954 0.05128 87 73 11 3
8392 See, I know exactly how you feel. 1.1954 0.04276 87 70 17 0
8393 (X+7)/(3x+5) In layman’s terms it’s an inverse equation. 1.1951 0.05331 82 69 10 3
8394 No. It's a fashion statement 1.1951 0.04733 82 67 14 1
8395 I see you are an innie and I'm an outie. Let's talk! 1.1951 0.05041 82 68 12 2
8396 Okay, it's a fashion statement. 1.1951 0.04403 82 66 16 0
8397 Apparently, it’s more effective to put a cloth cone over your medical cone. 1.1951 0.05331 82 69 10 3
8398 Good luck in the time trial! 1.1951 0.04733 82 67 14 1
8399 And it was the same Vet that neutered me. 1.1951 0.04733 82 67 14 1
8400 It’s all the rage in Westminster. 1.1951 0.05331 82 69 10 3
8401 It's called Yin and Yang. I guess Yang is better. 1.1951 0.04733 82 67 14 1
8402 Just ask for the ‘Conehead Sundae.’ 1.1951 0.04733 82 67 14 1
8403 I think this means that we are cleared To do it doggie style. 1.1951 0.05041 82 68 12 2
8404 Now I can look up when it rains. 1.1951 0.04733 82 67 14 1
8405 My owner was rear-ended. 1.1951 0.05607 82 70 8 4
8406 It’s easier to chew my leg this way. 1.1951 0.04733 82 67 14 1
8407 They’re trying to cure me of my habit of excessive licking of my balls. 1.1951 0.05041 82 68 12 2
8408 I've streamlined my life for better performance. Ta Da! 1.1951 0.03656 82 69 12 1
8409 Honey weren’t you at fashion week? We’re doing a more streamlined collar this season. 1.1951 0.05607 82 70 8 4
8410 This way I can see whose leg to pee on! 1.1951 0.05331 82 69 10 3
8411 Mine is set to sniff rear ends. 1.1951 0.05331 82 69 10 3
8412 You wouldn't have been censured had you just voted to acquit 1.1951 0.05331 82 69 10 3
8413 Please don’t be so narrow-minded. 1.1951 0.05331 82 69 10 3
8414 You know, it’s nice to finally meet another Lab with similar interests... 1.1951 0.04733 82 67 14 1
8415 True... but, both of us are in the same cone, and neither of us can sit around licking our wounds. 1.1951 0.05041 82 68 12 2
8416 'There's no point in wearing the damn thing if it doesn't cover your face!' 1.1951 0.05041 82 68 12 2
8417 I decided to be awake 1.1951 0.05041 82 68 12 2
8418 stop judging me. 1.1951 0.05041 82 68 12 2
8419 I think you got it the wrong way Buddy. 1.1951 0.05607 82 70 8 4
8420 I turned this E-collar into a ME-collar! 1.1951 0.04733 82 67 14 1
8421 It’s all the rage in the Paris dog parks 1.1951 0.05041 82 68 12 2
8422 After your 1st vaccine they let you invert the cone. 1.1948 0.05242 77 64 11 2
8423 You want me to lick your wounds? 1.1948 0.05857 77 66 7 4
8424 Plastic doodads denote gone gonads. 1.1948 0.05857 77 66 7 4
8425 Lampshades on our heads! Great party, huh? 1.1948 0.04727 77 65 10 2
8426 I went for Elizabethan, in honor of the change of guard. 1.1948 0.04543 77 62 15 0
8427 Mine is just for show. 1.1948 0.04543 77 62 15 0
8428 Sorta feels like I'm a superhero instead of a lamp 1.1948 0.05242 77 64 11 2
8429 It was easy! I just walked backwards for a week. 1.1948 0.04905 77 63 13 1
8430 The wind resistance was too much on walks with my fat assed owner. 1.1948 0.05857 77 66 7 4
8431 It's called the umbrella effect. 1.1948 0.04905 77 63 13 1
8432 That’s so passe. 1.1948 0.05242 77 64 11 2
8433 It’s my legal right to wear my neck brace however I please. 1.1948 0.04905 77 63 13 1
8434 I think I’m what they call a progressive. 1.1948 0.04543 77 62 15 0
8435 So, you're not gay? 1.1948 0.05558 77 65 9 3
8436 I heard A-lines are in this season. 1.1948 0.05242 77 64 11 2
8437 It’s the thought that counts. 1.1948 0.04905 77 63 13 1
8438 Sweetie, the Elizabethan collar trend is so 2020. 1.1948 0.05558 77 65 9 3
8439 No, I'm not ill. My owner's a priest. 1.1948 0.05242 77 64 11 2
8440 And it's slimming. 1.1948 0.05558 77 65 9 3
8441 Look! We’re both lamps now. 1.1948 0.05558 77 65 9 3
8442 I know it’s a ruff. Why do you keep telling me what I’m wearing? Is there something wrong? 1.1948 0.05242 77 64 11 2
8443 No, my owner DID put it on correctly. This is to prevent me from scratching the ears of OTHER dogs. 1.1948 0.04905 77 63 13 1
8444 It's called aerodynamics, Google it. 1.1948 0.05857 77 66 7 4
8445 What I am trying to say, is... We are just to different to get along! 1.1948 0.04727 77 65 10 2
8446 Didn't you hear? It's Formal Attire. 1.1948 0.06142 77 67 5 5
8447 Apparently, it's because my butt likes to sniff me. 1.1948 0.05857 77 66 7 4
8448 Cone yoga 1.1948 0.04543 77 62 15 0
8449 I am sorry you din"t get the vaccine yet 1.1948 0.05558 77 65 9 3
8450 Could it be because you're a Kierkegaardian and I'm a Satchel Paigeian? 1.1948 0.05242 77 64 11 2
8451 Listen Brother! The cone of shame doesn't have to be! 1.1948 0.05242 77 64 11 2
8452 It pains me to admit this but, your look is on fleek. 1.1948 0.05242 77 64 11 2
8453 Don't feel sorry for yourself Jeb...flip the script'. 1.1948 0.04905 77 63 13 1
8454 I know it's backwards. But I find that wearing it this way really brings out my eyes. 1.1948 0.05242 77 64 11 2
8455 Poor Roger, why did you allow them to make you use it upside down? 1.1948 0.05242 77 64 11 2
8456 They said is gonna stop raining today 1.1948 0.04905 77 63 13 1
8457 So, the vaccine works pretty good actually! 1.1948 0.04905 77 63 13 1
8458 It’s called ‘haute couture,’ you should try it sometime 1.1948 0.04905 77 63 13 1
8459 'Man, that look is soooooo 2020' 1.1948 0.04905 77 63 13 1
8460 Just got my second dose. 1.1948 0.05558 77 65 9 3
8461 I prefer hearing who’s coming up behind me. 1.1944 0.05096 72 59 12 1
8462 I'm in the early release program. 1.1944 0.05467 72 60 10 2
8463 I’m bringing ‘sexy’ back, apparently. 1.1944 0.05096 72 59 12 1
8464 Your cone is stupid. 1.1944 0.05467 72 60 10 2
8465 There’s no shame in being fashionable! 1.1944 0.05096 72 59 12 1
8466 I think yours is the wrong way! 1.1944 0.05096 72 59 12 1
8467 Mine's an outie! 1.1944 0.05814 72 61 8 3
8468 Didn’t work. Still can’t reach ‘em. 1.1944 0.05467 72 60 10 2
8469 My vet studied in Paris and prefers this more couture look. 1.1944 0.05467 72 60 10 2
8470 Wearing it this way is much more slimming, don’t you think? 1.1944 0.05096 72 59 12 1
8471 What, you didn't hear lockdowns are gonna be eased? 1.1944 0.05096 72 59 12 1
8472 No Vaccine ? 1.1944 0.05814 72 61 8 3
8473 I told the vet's assistant that I was just treated for dandruff. 1.1944 0.05814 72 61 8 3
8474 People are intrigued when I tell them it's a surplice. 1.1944 0.05467 72 60 10 2
8475 Simple: Sprint straight into a wall... and POP! 1.1944 0.05467 72 60 10 2
8476 The vet was a leftie. 1.1944 0.05467 72 60 10 2
8477 Reception’s not nearly as good, but I make up for it with the aerodynamics. 1.1944 0.04697 72 58 14 0
8478 You look like a dog dish. I look like a lampshade. 1.1944 0.05096 72 59 12 1
8479 MY ruff's bigger than YOUR ruff! 1.1944 0.05467 72 60 10 2
8480 My advice? Start scraping hard against the walls of your house. 1.1944 0.05467 72 60 10 2
8481 Fashion first 1.1944 0.04697 72 58 14 0
8482 But this way I could scratch yours 1.1944 0.05096 72 59 12 1
8483 It's about aerodynamics, not shame. 1.1944 0.05467 72 60 10 2
8484 Roar, I'm a Lion" 1.1944 0.04697 72 58 14 0
8485 You gotta try this,Bob. Way more aerodynamic. 1.1944 0.05814 72 61 8 3
8486 Gen Z wears it like this. 1.1944 0.06141 72 62 6 4
8487 Mine is a cone of power! 1.1944 0.06141 72 62 6 4
8488 Okay, so now there's no hiding it. You're an inny. 1.1944 0.05814 72 61 8 3
8489 It's been a year already. When will you learn to wear your cone correctly?! 1.1944 0.05096 72 59 12 1
8490 Your cone is so yesterday. 1.1944 0.05467 72 60 10 2
8491 Change your perspective, change your life! 1.1944 0.05467 72 60 10 2
8492 My vet likes to wear their mask below their nose, too. 1.1944 0.05467 72 60 10 2
8493 I’ll be Kriss. You’ll be Kross. 1.1944 0.05814 72 61 8 3
8494 How you doin on the other side? 1.1944 0.05096 72 59 12 1
8495 All the humans are doing it. 1.1944 0.05096 72 59 12 1
8496 It’s like you have an innie and I have an outie. 1.1942 0.04153 103 84 18 1
8497 I believe in my personal freedom. 1.1940 0.04868 67 54 13 0
8498 At least we still have Scratch-and-Sniff. 1.1940 0.06104 67 57 7 3
8499 I thought, "Hey, this way I can still lick my..." 1.1940 0.06104 67 57 7 3
8500 The only shame here is that I'm not wearing the matching cufflinks. 1.1940 0.04868 67 54 13 0
8501 And when they wanted to fix me, I talked them into just a circumcision. 1.1940 0.06464 67 58 5 4
8502 I asked for the "low drag force" installation so I could still run fast. 1.1940 0.05312 67 55 11 1
8503 Now can we kiss? 1.1940 0.04868 67 54 13 0
8504 I feel less preoccupied and have more time to do new things. 1.1940 0.05722 67 56 9 2
8505 This is fashion. 1.1940 0.05312 67 55 11 1
8506 I'm a sucker for the retro look. 1.1940 0.05312 67 55 11 1
8507 My human says you just gotta strut it out LIKE A BOSS 1.1940 0.06104 67 57 7 3
8508 Try wearing it like this. My sight never been better! 1.1940 0.05722 67 56 9 2
8509 I don’t like wearing mine over my nose 1.1940 0.05312 67 55 11 1
8510 My human kept talking about this thing called QAnon and the next thing I knew my cone was like this. 1.1940 0.05722 67 56 9 2
8511 You should see what I can do with a leash. 1.1939 0.04508 98 81 15 2
8512 So is that the latest "ruff ruff" collar or did they cut off your Twitter account? 1.1939 0.04735 98 82 13 3
8513 I am feeling more focused and i move faster since i turn back less nowadays 1.1939 0.04508 98 81 15 2
8514 Backward is the new forward! 1.1935 0.05130 93 79 10 4
8515 My human is an iconoclast. 1.1935 0.05557 62 51 10 1
8516 This is the Flying Nun model. Just find an updraft and away we go. 1.1935 0.04897 93 78 12 3
8517 See? That way you may even lick your wound, but you won't drown in your own tears! 1.1935 0.05557 62 51 10 1
8518 So what brings you to Coney Island? 1.1935 0.06014 62 52 8 2
8519 I appealed, biting is free speech. 1.1935 0.04897 93 78 12 3
8520 Real dogs wear them backwards. 1.1935 0.05557 62 51 10 1
8521 I've got a collar; you have a bonnet. We're awfully old fashioned. 1.1935 0.04652 93 77 14 2
8522 Introducing for the first time in this year's Spring collection: Backward is the new Forward! 1.1935 0.04897 93 78 12 3
8523 I’m in an avant garde phase 1.1935 0.05130 93 79 10 4
8524 Forget what the vet says -- this is a matter of free speech. 1.1932 0.05566 88 76 7 5
8525 And now it's a day-to-night outfit. 1.1932 0.04810 88 73 13 2
8526 It lowers my wind resistance. 1.1932 0.04531 88 72 15 1
8527 Pfft. Such a millennial. 1.1932 0.04531 88 72 15 1
8528 Did my ear flip inside out? 1.1932 0.05075 88 74 11 3
8529 Elizabethan era is much more comfortable than contemporary canine. 1.1932 0.04810 88 73 13 2
8530 New for Spring? 1.1932 0.04810 88 73 13 2
8531 Hi, I'm Karen. 1.1932 0.05566 88 76 7 5
8532 You've never seen an Ǝ-Collar? 1.1932 0.05075 88 74 11 3
8533 Why are you wearing a bowl? Why are you wearing a mini-skirt? 1.1932 0.04384 88 74 12 2
8534 Happily, mine is a psychosis. I'm allowed to lick anywhere I want. 1.1932 0.05075 88 74 11 3
8535 looks like you backed in 1.1932 0.04810 88 73 13 2
8536 It’s called behavior modification and it totally blew me away! 1.1932 0.04531 88 72 15 1
8537 It was really windy outside, turned my cone of shame inside out. Do you like the look? 1.1932 0.05075 88 74 11 3
8538 These things are totally shady. 1.1932 0.05075 88 74 11 3
8539 Your mask is upside down. 1.1932 0.05326 88 75 9 4
8540 Did you buy the Best Seller or the Amazon’s Choice? 1.1932 0.04810 88 73 13 2
8541 ...how was the circumcision 1.1932 0.05075 88 74 11 3
8542 You've got to have them get you an Edwardian collar next time... 1.1930 0.06352 57 48 7 2
8543 I don't get it... I'm doing everything right, just like you. 1.1928 0.05272 83 70 10 3
8544 This is probably a metaphor for politics or some shit 1.1928 0.04356 83 67 16 0
8545 I'm planning supersonic. 1.1928 0.04985 83 69 12 2
8546 Your choice mange free or fashionable 1.1928 0.04985 83 69 12 2
8547 Don't be glum. There's a fashion statement in your future. 1.1928 0.04356 83 67 16 0
8548 trust you to put it on backwards 1.1928 0.04985 83 69 12 2
8549 Just think of it like ,"You scratch my back, I scratch yours" 1.1928 0.04985 83 69 12 2
8550 Where did you get that? It just so 90's! 1.1928 0.04985 83 69 12 2
8551 But I’M aerodynamic! 1.1928 0.04985 83 69 12 2
8552 The '80s called. They want their popped collar back. 1.1928 0.04985 83 69 12 2
8553 I've joined the Sisters of Christian Charity 1.1928 0.04985 83 69 12 2
8554 I’m not telling him. Would you? 1.1928 0.05272 83 70 10 3
8555 Maybe it's because I'm male and your female. 1.1928 0.04985 83 69 12 2
8556 Master Elliott taught me a new trick, she said “Put ya thang down flip it and reverse it”. 1.1928 0.05272 83 70 10 3
8557 I'm being converted to an extrovert. 1.1928 0.05272 83 70 10 3
8558 I'm a good Pilgrim boy. 1.1928 0.05272 83 70 10 3
8559 It's French - le cône de shamé 1.1928 0.05544 83 71 8 4
8560 It's a Tesla — more aerodynamic. 1.1928 0.04681 83 68 14 1
8561 My owner insists that the cure shouldn't be worse than the disease. God rest his soul. 1.1928 0.05272 83 70 10 3
8562 Thank God, You can help me be indiscreet! 1.1928 0.04681 83 68 14 1
8563 You’re wearing it wrong.” “I am? I thought YOU were wearing it wrong. 1.1928 0.05272 83 70 10 3
8564 I hit the wall 1.1928 0.05272 83 70 10 3
8565 Why are you so reversed? I meant reserved. 1.1928 0.05272 83 70 10 3
8566 C’mon Donny this is how wars start! 1.1928 0.04681 83 68 14 1
8567 Wearing it like that would be prohibiting my freedom of bark 1.1928 0.04985 83 69 12 2
8568 ...”I can’t, I have a medical condition. My doctor says I can’t.” 1.1928 0.04985 83 69 12 2
8569 One of us has our DEVO costume on wrong. 🎶 1.1928 0.05272 83 70 10 3
8570 It’s a dog eat cone world out there 1.1928 0.04985 83 69 12 2
8571 I guess the popped collar IS in this spring 1.1928 0.05272 83 70 10 3
8572 Umm, not sure the CDC would approve of that. 1.1928 0.05272 83 70 10 3
8573 I wear it when I need it. I mean, it’s right here. Risk of infection is very low. 1.1927 0.04604 109 92 13 4
8574 Rex, you’re wearing that backwards. No no FiFi, it’s doggie style. 1.1923 0.04848 78 64 13 1
8575 That is so passé! This is the way all the smart dogs are wearing it today! 1.1923 0.05180 78 65 11 2
8576 Haven’t you heard? We’re in a yellow zone now! 1.1923 0.05180 78 65 11 2
8577 The opening looked larger. 1.1923 0.05787 78 67 7 4
8578 I like to think of it as a nod to our Pilgrim forebears plus you get a fantastic aerodynamic rush when you stick your head out the car window. 1.1923 0.05492 78 66 9 3
8579 I'll scratch your back; you scratch mine. 1.1923 0.04848 78 64 13 1
8580 Just turn it around the other way. 1.1923 0.05180 78 65 11 2
8581 Why is your cone so much more detailed than mine. 1.1923 0.05180 78 65 11 2
8582 This is how we wear them at Eton. 1.1923 0.05492 78 66 9 3
8583 I still can't lick myself and the chafing on my legs is excruciating, but the ladies love the look. 1.1923 0.06068 78 68 5 5
8584 This could work. 1.1923 0.04491 78 63 15 0
8585 My owner is trying to think outside the box lately. I´m growing fond of it. 1.1923 0.05180 78 65 11 2
8586 It's the sports model. 1.1923 0.06068 78 68 5 5
8587 show me yers an i'll show ya theirs, Shhhh... 1.1923 0.05492 78 66 9 3
8588 Intestinal problems. 1.1923 0.05180 78 65 11 2
8589 Come on, let’s turn that cone of shame into a cone of mane! 1.1923 0.05492 78 66 9 3
8590 We are a perfect fit! Let 1.1923 0.05492 78 66 9 3
8591 My cone is part of the spring line. 1.1923 0.04848 78 64 13 1
8592 I think it shows too much humility because yours is too out there. 1.1923 0.04848 78 64 13 1
8593 My new therapist has been encouraging me to think outside the cone. 1.1923 0.05492 78 66 9 3
8594 ...Now I understand the “ass face” nickname... 1.1923 0.05492 78 66 9 3
8595 I like that jaunty angle-very chic. 1.1923 0.05492 78 66 9 3
8596 Voted to impeach, huh? Just join the Independent caucus, turns it all around! 1.1923 0.05180 78 65 11 2
8597 My therapist said it'll help me "think outside the cone." 1.1923 0.05492 78 66 9 3
8598 Since the Pandemic has turned everything upside down. 1.1923 0.05492 78 66 9 3
8599 You have to ask for the mullet. 1.1923 0.04848 78 64 13 1
8600 Just came back from Paris fashion week 1.1923 0.04491 78 63 15 0
8601 You should have been more specific. 1.1923 0.05180 78 65 11 2
8602 I’m from Texas 1.1923 0.05492 78 66 9 3
8603 Wanna mock wearing it and go to the anti-cone walk with me? 1.1923 0.05180 78 65 11 2
8604 You really need to start doing laundry more often. 1.1923 0.04848 78 64 13 1
8605 Man, he is doing that wrong 1.1923 0.04491 78 63 15 0
8606 Bro, you’re flexing that popped collar! 1.1923 0.04848 78 64 13 1
8607 Sorry you got coned, man. I’m just glad I managed to avoid it. 1.1923 0.04491 78 63 15 0
8608 It makes you feel like you are already out of the tunnel! 1.1923 0.04491 78 63 15 0
8609 Haven’t worn mine popped since freshdog year, but hey, you do you. 1.1923 0.05180 78 65 11 2
8610 ya know, it really doesn’t matter. 1.1919 0.04466 99 82 15 2
8611 That cone is so yesterday in these post-shame times. 1.1918 0.05033 73 60 12 1
8612 Sympathy." 1.1918 0.05740 73 62 8 3
8613 Show off. 1.1918 0.05398 73 61 10 2
8614 No, it doesn't affect wi-fi reception at all. 1.1918 0.05398 73 61 10 2
8615 Wouldn't hearing aids work better? 1.1918 0.05033 73 60 12 1
8616 My vet also wears his clothes backwards, but he’s cheap. 1.1918 0.05740 73 62 8 3
8617 Are you in heat? 1.1918 0.05740 73 62 8 3
8618 I convinced them I could impersonate a lamp. 1.1918 0.05398 73 61 10 2
8619 If we put our heads together, maybe we can get out of this. 1.1918 0.05033 73 60 12 1
8620 I’m back into jogging 1.1918 0.05740 73 62 8 3
8621 Yes, I did make it from scratch 1.1918 0.05033 73 60 12 1
8622 It was then that Fido realized that he would get no where dressing for the job he wanted,for all dogs wanted to be lamps 1.1918 0.05033 73 60 12 1
8623 No, I did not have surgery... I just want to make a political statement 1.1918 0.04640 73 59 14 0
8624 I’ve had both vaccines and a covid test...you can come closer. 1.1918 0.05033 73 60 12 1
8625 I find it much faster chasing squirrels. 1.1918 0.05398 73 61 10 2
8626 Mine is Gucci, who is your cone by? 1.1918 0.05033 73 60 12 1
8627 Situational genius 1.1918 0.05033 73 60 12 1
8628 There’s something to be said for a stiff headwind. 1.1918 0.05398 73 61 10 2
8629 Just be grateful it isn't one of those mask things. 1.1918 0.05398 73 61 10 2
8630 My stylist calls it 'Retro'. 1.1918 0.05398 73 61 10 2
8631 How many humans does it take to change a lightbulb? 1.1918 0.05740 73 62 8 3
8632 Hey, look what the cat did! 1.1918 0.05398 73 61 10 2
8633 It’s better for sledding. 1.1918 0.05398 73 61 10 2
8634 Yours is the cone of shame. Mine is high fashion. It’s a statement. 1.1918 0.04640 73 59 14 0
8635 What a fine morning, madame! 1.1918 0.05398 73 61 10 2
8636 The reality of staying home from school for two weeks at the beginning of covid vs what we thought it would be like 1.1918 0.05398 73 61 10 2
8637 It’s the latest trend in Paris 1.1918 0.05033 73 60 12 1
8638 Ya but I couldn’t move my head around that way 1.1918 0.05398 73 61 10 2
8639 Dyslexia runs in my owners bloodline. 1.1918 0.05398 73 61 10 2
8640 Nope. Still can’t. 1.1918 0.05740 73 62 8 3
8641 cardin?" _courrège 1.1918 0.05740 73 62 8 3
8642 woof woof, woof" "Woof!? 1.1915 0.04849 94 79 12 3
8643 Give it to me straight, Karl. Do you think she’ll notice me now? 1.1915 0.04849 94 79 12 3
8644 My dad is an aeronautical engineer! What does your do? 1.1912 0.05241 68 56 11 1
8645 Just got my shot today! 1.1912 0.05241 68 56 11 1
8646 It was a struggle, but I think it's much more fashionable this way. 1.1912 0.05241 68 56 11 1
8647 Being dropped through a basketball hoop worked for me, but perhaps you're scared of heights? 1.1912 0.05644 68 57 9 2
8648 I think we are both uniquely qualified to help each other! 1.1912 0.06375 68 59 5 4
8649 Stuck your head out the car window again didn’t you. 1.1912 0.06021 68 58 7 3
8650 We’re different.Your face is a bulb and I’m one of those lamp thingys. 1.1912 0.05241 68 56 11 1
8651 All the cool kids wear 'em this way. 1.1912 0.05644 68 57 9 2
8652 I see you're a cone half empty kinda guy. 1.1912 0.05241 68 56 11 1
8653 The Dog-maids Tale 1.1912 0.05241 68 56 11 1
8654 I left 2020 at such a pace... 1.1912 0.05241 68 56 11 1
8655 You should see how I order my ice cream. 1.1912 0.04804 68 55 13 0
8656 I decided that I needed to change up my look. 1.1910 0.05270 89 76 9 4
8657 Have you noticed how long my neck is? 1.1910 0.04761 89 74 13 2
8658 My Owner does everything back asswards. 1.1910 0.04761 89 74 13 2
8659 The cone of same. 1.1910 0.05022 89 75 11 3
8660 I joined the Pilgrams. 1.1910 0.05270 89 76 9 4
8661 They call it “Pay to play.” 1.1910 0.04761 89 74 13 2
8662 'My fault. I thought they said bitcone' 1.1910 0.04761 89 74 13 2
8663 that’s so 2020. Gotta change things in 2021 1.1909 0.04379 110 92 15 3
8664 You look fabulous! Who are you wearing today? 1.1905 0.05476 63 52 10 1
8665 It's called, "leaning in," Ranger. 1.1905 0.04987 63 51 12 0
8666 I think you've put it on the wrong way. 1.1905 0.04631 84 69 14 1
8667 I’m an enabler, actually. Would you like me to chew on you for awhile?” 1.1905 0.04310 84 68 16 0
8668 It's got a better aerodynamic profile! 1.1905 0.04631 84 69 14 1
8669 My owner said I was going for a ride and then I was going to get tutored. 1.1905 0.05214 84 71 10 3
8670 It makes sense if you take air density times the drag coefficient times area all over two, and then multiply by velocity squared... 1.1905 0.04931 84 70 12 2
8671 See? If your master weren’t such an uptight cartoonist, you could be walking around like me now. 1.1905 0.05925 63 53 8 2
8672 Okay, I'm "dogslexic". 1.1905 0.05925 63 53 8 2
8673 Yeah, that's right, I've been adopted by the Monsgnor. 1.1905 0.04931 84 70 12 2
8674 I don't follow trends. 1.1905 0.05476 63 52 10 1
8675 Only 10 % of us get to be outies. 1.1905 0.04931 84 70 12 2
8676 Always stand upwind! 1.1905 0.04931 84 70 12 2
8677 I don't get it? Avant Garde? 1.1905 0.05214 84 71 10 3
8678 Yeah, I have a PPO. 1.1905 0.04631 84 69 14 1
8679 My human thinks masks are political so.....” 1.1905 0.05482 84 72 8 4
8680 Sometimes you get the funnel, and sometimes the funnel gets you. 1.1905 0.04631 84 69 14 1
8681 You bozo, me Czar of Ozob. 1.1905 0.05214 84 71 10 3
8682 Problem solved! I mean, it’s not much different than sniffing each other. 1.1905 0.04931 84 70 12 2
8683 i prefer to set trends . . . 1.1905 0.05214 84 71 10 3
8684 I had it reversed. 1.1905 0.05214 84 71 10 3
8685 I'm OK,just no more forward thinking. 1.1905 0.05214 84 71 10 3
8686 Fashion is so restraining, isn't it? 1.1905 0.04631 84 69 14 1
8687 My vet is dyslexic. Now, what do you need licked? 1.1905 0.05925 63 53 8 2
8688 I have dandruff 1.1905 0.04931 84 70 12 2
8689 As a Zoomer, I'm here to tell you that your generation's ideas are, first and foremost, backwards. 1.1905 0.05214 84 71 10 3
8690 Are you ying or are you yang? 1.1905 0.05925 63 53 8 2
8691 I’m told it’s the latest style. 1.1905 0.04931 84 70 12 2
8692 You really should try the reversible collar. 1.1905 0.05214 84 71 10 3
8693 What can you expect? Mildred has always been left handed. 1.1905 0.05214 84 71 10 3
8694 Okay...So there is a distinct possibility, that my vet is dyslexic. 1.1905 0.04931 84 70 12 2
8695 Hellooo?!? I told you. Reverse psychology, works every time. 1.1905 0.04987 63 51 12 0
8696 My owner just got back from Paris. This is how everyone wears it over there. 1.1905 0.05214 84 71 10 3
8697 bite, scmitte... This is certified Balanciaga as tested in a wind tunnel 1.1905 0.04931 84 70 12 2
8698 Yeah, remember Bingo? He wore it like the vet told him. Nobody warned him about sticking head out the car window. Bin --GO 1.1905 0.05482 84 72 8 4
8699 Is Mercury in retrograde? 1.1905 0.05214 84 71 10 3
8700 Sometimes, a simple change in perspective makes all the difference. 1.1905 0.05214 84 71 10 3
8701 When I bark yin you bark yang 1.1900 0.05064 100 86 9 5
8702 Just humans pulling your chain again, Max. 1.1900 0.04861 100 85 11 4
8703 Still annoying and embarrassing, but oh-so-much-more aerodynamic. 1.1899 0.05428 79 67 9 3
8704 I see you have an innie, while I have an outie. 1.1899 0.04792 79 65 13 1
8705 Same, same. But different. 1.1899 0.05719 79 68 7 4
8706 You must be barking mad. 1.1899 0.05120 79 66 11 2
8707 My owner had sympathy for me. 1.1899 0.05719 79 68 7 4
8708 Ruthie you really should look in the mirror. 1.1899 0.05120 79 66 11 2
8709 Think they come in different colors? 1.1899 0.04441 79 64 15 0
8710 Popped collars are really out of style 1.1899 0.04792 79 65 13 1
8711 When reversed, it's GOD 1.1899 0.05428 79 67 9 3
8712 YOURS IS INSIDE OUT! 1.1899 0.04792 79 65 13 1
8713 I love what you’ve d one with your hair. 1.1899 0.04792 79 65 13 1
8714 Cheer up, Betsy. On you it’s like a Jackie O pillbox. 1.1899 0.04792 79 65 13 1
8715 That's last year's style. I'm changing it up. 1.1899 0.05120 79 66 11 2
8716 Hey Buddy, it's not too late. Go back and ask them to put it on the right way" 1.1899 0.04441 79 64 15 0
8717 I'd rather be called a bone-head, than a cone-head. 1.1899 0.04792 79 65 13 1
8718 Trust me. One solid head-butt and you'll be rid of it. 1.1899 0.05428 79 67 9 3
8719 I’m jealous you have an innie, I’ve always been self conscious of my outie 1.1899 0.05120 79 66 11 2
8720 I was running into a headwind ! 1.1899 0.04792 79 65 13 1
8721 Wow you really do have a big sneeze 1.1899 0.04620 79 67 10 2
8722 I've never seen an enoc of shame like that before. 1.1899 0.04792 79 65 13 1
8723 It's part of my two-step program to quit gnawing my stitches. 1.1899 0.05120 79 66 11 2
8724 I promise, it's not a ballsy look 1.1899 0.04792 79 65 13 1
8725 This is how the Elizbethan’s actually wore it. 1.1899 0.05120 79 66 11 2
8726 Well, it's so much more aero-dynamic. 1.1899 0.05120 79 66 11 2
8727 It’s Okay. People had that God thing wrong for a while too. 1.1899 0.04792 79 65 13 1
8728 Hot Spot? No Garbage Can. 1.1899 0.04441 79 64 15 0
8729 My owner wears his cap backwards to show that he’s too cool to care about sun safety 1.1899 0.05120 79 66 11 2
8730 With a low coefficient of friction, I’ve got breakneck speed. 1.1899 0.05719 79 68 7 4
8731 Obviously, old bean, you didn't attend Eton. 1.1899 0.05120 79 66 11 2
8732 Dude,popped collars have been out since the ‘80s. 1.1899 0.04792 79 65 13 1
8733 Listen, if you lick my crotch, I’ll lick yours. 1.1899 0.04792 79 65 13 1
8734 Honey, how can you hear me if you wear yours over your ears? 1.1899 0.05120 79 66 11 2
8735 Well, that's just you opinion, isn't it? 1.1899 0.05428 79 67 9 3
8736 it's my tinnitus" 1.1899 0.04792 79 65 13 1
8737 wear it this way, at least it looks like a fashion decision 1.1899 0.05428 79 67 9 3
8738 Gen z told me to 1.1899 0.04441 79 64 15 0
8739 Do you think this will finally intimidate the mailman now? 1.1899 0.05428 79 67 9 3
8740 Trendy by day, bendy by night; one mask for all moods 1.1899 0.05120 79 66 11 2
8741 ‘It’s the first one ever designed in a wind tunnel’ 1.1899 0.04792 79 65 13 1
8742 Umm, it’s a life hack. 1.1899 0.05428 79 67 9 3
8743 HEALTH FIRST. FOR THE HEALTH AND SAFETY OF OUR HUMANS - NECK COLLARS REQUIRED. 1.1899 0.04792 79 65 13 1
8744 They don't actually do anything, anyway. 1.1895 0.04563 95 79 14 2
8745 I won't bite. 1.1895 0.04802 95 80 12 3
8746 Bark, bite . . . It's all an oppression of our rights ! " 1.1895 0.05030 95 81 10 4
8747 The other dogs say we compliment each other. 1.1895 0.04563 95 79 14 2
8748 Sometimes we just need to change our perspective on what’s already happened. 1.1895 0.05247 95 82 8 5
8749 It's their own obsession with lack of self discipline 1.1892 0.04971 74 61 12 1
8750 That's so 2020. 1.1892 0.05331 74 62 10 2
8751 I like it but ‘The Shone of Came’ is a bit of a mouthful. 1.1892 0.05667 74 63 8 3
8752 Do you feel safer now? 1.1892 0.05331 74 62 10 2
8753 Reality bites. 1.1892 0.05331 74 62 10 2
8754 Oh honey, that look is so last week. 1.1892 0.04971 74 61 12 1
8755 It's His Master's Voice. In reverse. 1.1892 0.04584 74 60 14 0
8756 Reverse psychology they call it and it works! 1.1892 0.04971 74 61 12 1
8757 My balls are trying to lick ME! 1.1892 0.05667 74 63 8 3
8758 Thank God my vet's not a RINO . . . 1.1892 0.05331 74 62 10 2
8759 It was like an umbrella, you know? In the wind. 1.1892 0.05667 74 63 8 3
8760 I’ll trade you. 1.1892 0.05667 74 63 8 3
8761 Don't worry. This way I can kiss hurts away. 1.1892 0.05331 74 62 10 2
8762 Every yang has its yin. 1.1892 0.04971 74 61 12 1
8763 Well, at least no one can see that haircut they gave you, right? 1.1892 0.04971 74 61 12 1
8764 So, do you squat like us girl dogs or just lift one leg? 1.1892 0.05667 74 63 8 3
8765 It is more aerodynamic, you should try. 1.1892 0.05667 74 63 8 3
8766 After repurposing the cone, I really began my journey identifying as an outie. 1.1892 0.04377 74 62 11 1
8767 They removed my tongue 1.1892 0.05985 74 64 6 4
8768 My owners are not rocket scientists. 1.1892 0.05331 74 62 10 2
8769 They felt sorry for me 1.1892 0.05667 74 63 8 3
8770 My guardians are dyslexic. 1.1892 0.04971 74 61 12 1
8771 It's all the rage, it's the new ergonomic design 1.1892 0.05331 74 62 10 2
8772 So you save money on coffee filters too? 1.1892 0.04971 74 61 12 1
8773 At least I don’t have to be sequestered 1.1892 0.05667 74 63 8 3
8774 It’s less shameful this way. 1.1892 0.04971 74 61 12 1
8775 I just hid all their glasses. 1.1892 0.05331 74 62 10 2
8776 Call me crazy,but the popped collar really suits you. 1.1892 0.04971 74 61 12 1
8777 You look bad. Do you see anything by my neck? 1.1892 0.05667 74 63 8 3
8778 My life has changed when I started wearing it like this! 1.1892 0.05667 74 63 8 3
8779 I’m out now 1.1892 0.05985 74 64 6 4
8780 I had a job interview and got creative. 1.1892 0.04584 74 60 14 0
8781 I saw it in Fashion Week! 1.1892 0.04971 74 61 12 1
8782 No shame. 1.1892 0.04584 74 60 14 0
8783 Don’t worry, I’ll have it off in no time! 1.1892 0.05667 74 63 8 3
8784 This way, the fleas can kiss my ass. 1.1892 0.05667 74 63 8 3
8785 Wind gusts of 50mph 1.1892 0.04971 74 61 12 1
8786 I don’t have a rash, this makes me more aerodynamic. 1.1889 0.04713 90 75 13 2
8787 I listened to Brene Brown 1.1889 0.04970 90 76 11 3
8788 I don't attract as many mosquitoes as you. 1.1889 0.04713 90 75 13 2
8789 Turn yours inside out and backwards, I'm hoping for snow! 1.1889 0.04970 90 76 11 3
8790 Do Try my toenails and tail too 1.1889 0.04440 90 74 15 1
8791 The westerlies are really blowing! 1.1889 0.04713 90 75 13 2
8792 I can teach you how to go from zero to hero. 1.1889 0.04713 90 75 13 2
8793 You're better off for social distancing. My vet didn't get the memo. 1.1889 0.04970 90 76 11 3
8794 I'm an "Outtie"...I've always been an "Innie" myself... 1.1889 0.04713 90 75 13 2
8795 This is how they do it in Europe. 1.1889 0.04970 90 76 11 3
8796 The judge ruled that my bark was worse than my bite! 1.1889 0.04970 90 76 11 3
8797 'My butt or yours'. 1.1889 0.04970 90 76 11 3
8798 He’s a nice guy but sadly a bit dyslexic. 1.1889 0.04440 90 74 15 1
8799 that's now how you're supposed to wear your mask, Fred 1.1889 0.04970 90 76 11 3
8800 Zooooom!! 1.1889 0.04440 90 74 15 1
8801 Ya win some, ya lose some! 1.1889 0.04713 90 75 13 2
8802 Wax on, wax off 1.1889 0.04713 90 75 13 2
8803 Instead of the classic up-do, I asked for the “hanging out of the car window” look 1.1889 0.04713 90 75 13 2
8804 I am doing it for the environment - it is more aerodynamic! 1.1889 0.05216 90 77 9 4
8805 masks over 1.1887 0.04263 106 88 16 2
8806 I got this one off of Spot, I can get yours off of you too! 1.1884 0.05939 69 59 7 3
8807 Don’t you know how to turn your collar down? 1.1884 0.05172 69 57 11 1
8808 Better aerodynamics - and I can reach my ears. Duh. 1.1884 0.05569 69 58 9 2
8809 Your friends all share your views, so when you only talk to them, you end up in your own echo chamber. 1.1884 0.05172 69 57 11 1
8810 Wearing it backwards shows my rebellious nature. 1.1884 0.05172 69 57 11 1
8811 No; I’ve got cable. 1.1884 0.05172 69 57 11 1
8812 Ruff? 1.1884 0.05939 69 59 7 3
8813 Cones aren’t nearly as bad as everyone makes them out to be. 1.1884 0.04742 69 56 13 0
8814 I like flaunting Fauci. 1.1884 0.05172 69 57 11 1
8815 Better to see you with, my dear... 1.1884 0.04742 69 56 13 0
8816 I don't know if it's better to be an Extrovert or an Introvert! 1.1884 0.05172 69 57 11 1
8817 I can't hear you...what did you say? 1.1884 0.04742 69 56 13 0
8818 You just have to push through the pain. 1.1884 0.05569 69 58 9 2
8819 Why, Yes, thanks - it’s certainly more stylish! But only possible after extensive negotiation and a meeting of the minds with my humans. 1.1884 0.06288 69 60 5 4
8820 At least You can still lick your Balls ! 1.1884 0.05569 69 58 9 2
8821 I'm half empty, and you are half full! 1.1884 0.05569 69 58 9 2
8822 I must admit; it is fashion forward. 1.1884 0.05569 69 58 9 2
8823 I protested! 1.1884 0.05569 69 58 9 2
8824 I'm into the smock look, myself. 1.1884 0.05172 69 57 11 1
8825 The lines are more slimming this way. 1.1884 0.04742 69 56 13 0
8826 I think we'll need Congress to vote on how to wear this thing. 1.1884 0.05569 69 58 9 2
8827 Aerodynamic deficiency. What were you in for? 1.1882 0.05422 85 73 8 4
8828 Actually, as you can see by my collar, I am a Puritan. So, I wouldn’t chew on my crotch anyway.” 1.1882 0.04878 85 71 12 2
8829 Hey, K-8, how's the Missus? 1.1882 0.05157 85 72 10 3
8830 My owner is a nice guy, but he’s dyslexic. 1.1882 0.05157 85 72 10 3
8831 I was a huge fan of Justice Ginsburg,too. 1.1882 0.05157 85 72 10 3
8832 Easy-peazy, George. If you can tie a maraschino cherry stem into a knot with your tongue, this is a breeze to pull off. 1.1882 0.05422 85 73 8 4
8833 Bummer on the surgery. If you can turn that thing around it's a major hit with the bitc...I mean ladies. 1.1882 0.05157 85 72 10 3
8834 You don't know the hoops I had to jump through! 1.1882 0.04878 85 71 12 2
8835 They call it re-birth therapy 1.1882 0.04582 85 70 14 1
8836 It’s a shade less intrusive. 1.1882 0.04582 85 70 14 1
8837 If you want, I can lick you. 1.1882 0.04878 85 71 12 2
8838 I prefer the lampshade of enlightenment look. 1.1882 0.05422 85 73 8 4
8839 You look ridiculous in that garb. 1.1882 0.05157 85 72 10 3
8840 This bites. 1.1882 0.05157 85 72 10 3
8841 I convinced him that turnaround was fair play. 1.1882 0.05422 85 73 8 4
8842 Just keep whimpering and they'll change it." 1.1882 0.05157 85 72 10 3
8843 You can't tell me how to wear it, ok? 1.1882 0.04878 85 71 12 2
8844 I got this style from that cute French poodle down the street 1.1882 0.04878 85 71 12 2
8845 I think my Face Mask arrangement is more Stylish 1.1882 0.04878 85 71 12 2
8846 My name's Vermeer... what's yours? 1.1882 0.04878 85 71 12 2
8847 This way, I'm the life of the party 1.1882 0.05157 85 72 10 3
8848 Works great with my head out the car window. Try it! 1.1882 0.04878 85 71 12 2
8849 I’ll answer your phone if you can scratch my back? 1.1882 0.04878 85 71 12 2
8850 You put it the lamp shade upside down! 1.1882 0.05157 85 72 10 3
8851 In my dimension they make it bigger. 1.1882 0.04582 85 70 14 1
8852 we are meant for each other 1.1882 0.05157 85 72 10 3
8853 I hate it when my umbrella gets blown inside out, too. 1.1882 0.04265 85 69 16 0
8854 DoOoDoo DoOodoo Doodoo DoOoDoo BATDOG! 1.1882 0.04878 85 71 12 2
8855 Look, I'm telling ya: corona's a hoax, 9/11 was an inside job and dog cones are supposed to be worn like this! 1.1882 0.04878 85 71 12 2
8856 What can I say, I have a knack for this. 1.1881 0.04606 101 85 13 3
8857 No worries, I'm vaccinated. 1.1881 0.04606 101 85 13 3
8858 I'll lick yours if you lick mine. 1.1875 0.05061 80 67 11 2
8859 It's how my human, the priest, says we wear collars. 1.1875 0.04738 80 66 13 1
8860 It’s more fashionable, and also much easier to chew open my wounds. 1.1875 0.05061 80 67 11 2
8861 I prefer personal responsibility 1.1875 0.04738 80 66 13 1
8862 I think I’ve found a way to masturbate. 1.1875 0.05398 64 53 10 1
8863 You're so old fashioned 1.1875 0.04738 80 66 13 1
8864 All I know is I was chasing a car straight into heavy wind and voilà! 1.1875 0.05061 80 67 11 2
8865 I thought you said you would do it if I did? 1.1875 0.05840 64 54 8 2
8866 'That was one hell of a bark!' 1.1875 0.04738 80 66 13 1
8867 Next time get the open concept. 1.1875 0.05840 64 54 8 2
8868 It's all in how you wear it. 1.1875 0.04738 80 66 13 1
8869 I find being de-platformed really freeing! 1.1875 0.04738 80 66 13 1
8870 Lion sexual dimorphism 1.1875 0.05061 80 67 11 2
8871 Thanks, but I’ll pass on the fashion advice, Spuds McKenzie... 1.1875 0.05364 80 68 9 3
8872 It's to keep me from rubbing shoulders. 1.1875 0.04981 96 82 10 4
8873 Wearing it like this is so much more aerodynamic. 1.1875 0.05061 80 67 11 2
8874 - when life gives you lemons, make lemonade! you see? 1.1875 0.06250 64 55 6 3
8875 I know what the so-called experts say, but I’m gonna go with what I read on Facebook, John. 1.1875 0.05061 80 67 11 2
8876 Hey Skippy,you got that thing on backwards- silly! 1.1875 0.05652 80 69 7 4
8877 Ever hear the expression "One hand washes the other?" 1.1875 0.05652 80 69 7 4
8878 You gotta turn it around, brah! It’s streamlined and energy-efficient this way. 1.1875 0.04981 96 82 10 4
8879 I think it depends on which lightbulb you use 1.1875 0.05364 80 68 9 3
8880 It’s mainly so I can smell butts. 1.1875 0.05364 80 68 9 3
8881 Your owner is sick you say? 1.1875 0.04391 80 67 12 1
8882 It stops the tail wagging the dog 1.1875 0.05061 80 67 11 2
8883 But how did this not work? I did everything right! 1.1875 0.04738 80 66 13 1
8884 The cat helped fix my crown 1.1875 0.05364 80 68 9 3
8885 This is how they wear the cones in Europe. 1.1875 0.04738 80 66 13 1
8886 Yeah I know.. My Brooklyn parents... and their “ expressing myself in my way “ things... But i like it. 1.1875 0.05061 80 67 11 2
8887 It's ok buddy... Trump has started from here too. 1.1875 0.05398 64 53 10 1
8888 I need Gen Z to know I part my hair down the middle. 1.1875 0.04738 80 66 13 1
8889 The aerodynamics are much better when you flip it around. 1.1875 0.04738 80 66 13 1
8890 lol you still didn't figure out how to do it? 1.1875 0.04391 80 65 15 0
8891 Pop that collar bro 1.1875 0.05364 80 68 9 3
8892 Nice to meet you, Deacon. When is your ordination? 1.1868 0.04665 91 76 13 2
8893 I guess it’s a new trend now, huh? 1.1868 0.04665 91 76 13 2
8894 Take it from me: The grass isn't always greener on the other side. 1.1868 0.04396 91 75 15 1
8895 You’ll never guess what they made me promise for it. 1.1868 0.04665 91 76 13 2
8896 Silly? Have you seen how my owner wears his lamp shade? 1.1868 0.04920 91 77 11 3
8897 For the last time Ralph,this is not a couples Halloween costume 1.1868 0.04396 91 75 15 1
8898 Mitch, did Trump put that thing on you? 1.1868 0.05162 91 78 9 4
8899 I asked for the Gust Buster but they wouldn’t get it for me. 1.1868 0.05162 91 78 9 4
8900 It's haute couture from this season's Paris dog runs 1.1868 0.04665 91 76 13 2
8901 Try mine, you won't be so hot under the collar. 1.1868 0.04665 91 76 13 2
8902 No, you're wrong! 1.1868 0.04665 91 76 13 2
8903 Just got back from NY Fashion week, you like? 1.1868 0.04665 91 76 13 2
8904 « One can smell an extravert from a mile! » 1.1868 0.04665 91 76 13 2
8905 The way you're wearing it is so cringe, bro 1.1868 0.05162 91 78 9 4
8906 Conehead, but make it fashion. 1.1868 0.04665 91 76 13 2
8907 'I get my inspiration from Laika' 1.1868 0.05162 91 78 9 4
8908 Didn't you hear? Monarch chic is the new wave. 1.1867 0.03887 75 64 10 1
8909 OK, but you go first. 1.1867 0.05265 75 63 10 2
8910 My owner may be dyslexic. 1.1867 0.05265 75 63 10 2
8911 Do I look fat or just or just shorter than you? 1.1867 0.04911 75 62 12 1
8912 Funny, mine is a cone of emahs 1.1867 0.05597 75 64 8 3
8913 Mine's a new fashion statement. 1.1867 0.04911 75 62 12 1
8914 Get with the trends, Gary. 1.1867 0.04530 75 61 14 0
8915 It works, but now I'm free to gnaw on your sores. 1.1867 0.04911 75 62 12 1
8916 My vet doesn't have much experience treating dogs. 1.1867 0.05265 75 63 10 2
8917 It feels less shameful this way. 1.1867 0.05597 75 64 8 3
8918 I knew it was a good possibility when I saw him put his shirt on backwards. 1.1867 0.05265 75 63 10 2
8919 You’re sending out bad dog signals 1.1867 0.04911 75 62 12 1
8920 Hi. My name is Elizabeth. So my collar is Elizabethan. 1.1867 0.04911 75 62 12 1
8921 Handmaid’s Tale? No, I’m auditioning for Hamlet. 1.1867 0.04911 75 62 12 1
8922 Make sure you don't flip yours' around, I'm trying to make a statement 1.1867 0.04911 75 62 12 1
8923 I think you're wearing it backwards - you can't go to a white tie dinner looking like that. 1.1867 0.04911 75 62 12 1
8924 No, I think *yours* is on backwards. 1.1867 0.05597 75 64 8 3
8925 You want to consider the aerodynamics. 1.1867 0.04530 75 61 14 0
8926 You need to keep up on the latest fashion 1.1867 0.04530 75 61 14 0
8927 You've got an outie and I've got an innie,why don't we call it a draw? 1.1867 0.05265 75 63 10 2
8928 At least I can still lick where it matters. 1.1867 0.05265 75 63 10 2
8929 Ruff, Ruff !! 1.1867 0.05265 75 63 10 2
8930 Shame is a state of mind. Don't be defined! 1.1867 0.05265 75 63 10 2
8931 I switched from the Jackie to the Martha. 1.1867 0.05265 75 65 7 3
8932 I was never able to catch a squirrel until I tried this 1.1867 0.05265 75 63 10 2
8933 My family’s a bit backwards. 1.1867 0.04911 75 62 12 1
8934 You'll find it's better this way when your head is out the car window. 1.1867 0.05265 75 63 10 2
8935 but me,I can't even look at my butt 1.1867 0.05597 75 64 8 3
8936 It steps on my rights to scratch myself wherever I want, so I had them reverse it. 1.1867 0.05597 75 64 8 3
8937 I like my innie better than your outie. 1.1867 0.05265 75 63 10 2
8938 My guy just got his vet license. 1.1867 0.04911 75 62 12 1
8939 It interferes with my barking. 1.1867 0.04911 75 62 12 1
8940 ...and after the bulb blew out, he really lost his temper. 1.1867 0.05597 75 64 8 3
8941 actually, it's better in the shower 1.1867 0.04911 75 62 12 1
8942 It’s how President Trump’s dog wears his mask. 1.1867 0.04530 75 61 14 0
8943 it’s all about perspective really 1.1867 0.05265 75 63 10 2
8944 I have fabulous insurance 1.1867 0.05910 75 65 6 4
8945 Don’t believe that fake news! This is the only way! 1.1864 0.06151 59 50 7 2
8946 I simply refuse to live in the dark. 1.1864 0.06151 59 50 7 2
8947 A slight adjustment ensures a more historically accurate utilization of the Elizabethan collar, don't you think? 1.1864 0.06151 59 50 7 2
8948 I did it only for you. 1.1863 0.04117 102 84 17 1
8949 I make too much of a mess when I drink from the toilet. 1.1860 0.05101 86 73 10 3
8950 AC DC 1.1860 0.05363 86 74 8 4
8951 Plus, I find supersonic flight to be much easier. 1.1860 0.04533 86 71 14 1
8952 Sez who? 1.1860 0.04533 86 71 14 1
8953 Amen Brother Fido. Just take the vow and they will turn your collar around too! 1.1860 0.05101 86 73 10 3
8954 It’s the new post-Elizabethan look! 1.1860 0.04826 86 72 12 2
8955 I love it! It’s so aerodynamic. 1.1860 0.04221 86 70 16 0
8956 I'm establishing my trans-collar identity. 1.1860 0.05101 86 73 10 3
8957 I can show you how to flip it. 1.1860 0.04826 86 72 12 2
8958 I was an extra in Christopher Nolan's film Tenet. 1.1860 0.04826 86 72 12 2
8959 My People need help with directions! 1.1860 0.05101 86 73 10 3
8960 I think it makes you look like you’re wearing a lampshade on your head. 1.1860 0.04533 86 71 14 1
8961 Mine has Bluetooth. 1.1860 0.04221 86 70 16 0
8962 Hey, it's workin' for the kids...so why not? 1.1860 0.05101 86 73 10 3
8963 Bis. Is this the introvert/extrovert convention? 1.1860 0.05101 86 73 10 3
8964 It's much more slimming when worn this way. 1.1860 0.04826 86 72 12 2
8965 Westminster is fixed! 1.1860 0.04221 86 70 16 0
8966 Knick-knack paddywhack,give a dog a cone. 1.1860 0.04826 86 72 12 2
8967 Yeah...still can't lick the ouchee, but my owner decided this way, I can still retrieve the beer cans out of the fridge. 1.1860 0.04826 86 72 12 2
8968 Father, you've got your collar on backwards. 1.1860 0.05363 86 74 8 4
8969 It’s too big. I almost drowned at the water bowl. 1.1860 0.05101 86 73 10 3
8970 My kibble efficiency is way up! 1.1860 0.05363 86 74 8 4
8971 It's the new tiktok challenge! 1.1860 0.04533 86 71 14 1
8972 It’s just a matter of view 1.1860 0.04533 86 71 14 1
8973 My vet has a newbie working for her. 1.1857 0.05860 70 60 7 3
8974 A bit claustrophobic, but it suits your inverse personality. 1.1857 0.05495 70 59 9 2
8975 Don't you do anything right? 1.1857 0.05495 70 59 9 2
8976 Not only is it the latest in French fashion, but it doesn't fill with water when it rains 1.1857 0.05105 70 58 11 1
8977 It's the aerodynamics my man! Car rides are awesome now. 1.1857 0.04898 70 60 8 2
8978 You got yourself one of them tiger moms, don’t you? 1.1857 0.05495 70 59 9 2
8979 They can't deny you if you say you're a dog-of-the-collar. 1.1857 0.04682 70 57 13 0
8980 I know it looks weird, but this way I can tickle the parts that matter. 1.1857 0.05105 70 58 11 1
8981 Rough, rough. 1.1857 0.05105 70 58 11 1
8982 Be patient, after two weeks they will turn it round 1.1857 0.04682 70 57 13 0
8983 I’m wearing Christian Siriano. 1.1857 0.04682 70 57 13 0
8984 My group encouraged me to do it. I call it the Cone of Pride. 1.1857 0.05105 70 58 11 1
8985 It works along the lines of reverse psychology. 1.1857 0.04682 70 57 13 0
8986 I see yours isn't for fashion.. 1.1857 0.04682 70 57 13 0
8987 An enormous favor you say? 1.1857 0.05105 70 58 11 1
8988 My owner is an aerodynamics engineer. 1.1857 0.05495 70 59 9 2
8989 I said innie,not outee! 1.1857 0.05105 70 58 11 1
8990 Thank goodness for dyslexic vets. 1.1857 0.05105 70 58 11 1
8991 It’s this year’s model. 1.1857 0.05495 70 59 9 2
8992 I went as the Handmaid last Halloween, this year I felt more like a superhero. 1.1857 0.05105 70 58 11 1
8993 Well technically you are a bitch. 1.1857 0.05105 70 58 11 1
8994 Hey, we're stackable! 1.1857 0.05105 70 58 11 1
8995 I'm am exploring the psychology of limitation. 1.1857 0.05495 70 59 9 2
8996 You go your way, I'll go mine. 1.1857 0.05105 70 58 11 1
8997 I love your hat! 1.1857 0.05860 70 60 7 3
8998 I know, but didn' want to upset them. 1.1857 0.04682 70 57 13 0
8999 Gotta own the libs amirite 1.1857 0.05105 70 58 11 1
9000 Zoom pictionary. I was a lampshade. 1.1857 0.04682 70 57 13 0
9001 Wearing it like that is soooo 7 years ago 1.1857 0.05105 70 58 11 1
9002 have you heard of this new start up 1.1857 0.05105 70 58 11 1
9003 I am a lion among sheep!" 1.1856 0.04230 97 80 16 1
9004 I think we can make this work 1.1852 0.07031 54 47 4 3
9005 Is this your first encounter with an alternate universe? 1.1852 0.05303 81 69 9 3
9006 Because celluloid collars are making a comeback, that's why. 1.1852 0.04685 81 67 13 1
9007 Mine highlights my best feature, what about yours? 1.1852 0.05003 81 68 11 2
9008 This is the Cone 12 Pro. 1.1852 0.03972 81 70 9 2
9009 What up, dog. So, the guy thinks I'm his best friend and then he throws this kind of shade on me. 1.1852 0.04685 81 67 13 1
9010 The biggest advantage of this cone is it doesn't get food caught around the neck. 1.1852 0.05003 81 68 11 2
9011 My vet thinks outside the barks. 1.1852 0.05003 81 68 11 2
9012 Besides, it's much more aerodynamic this way. 1.1852 0.04343 81 66 15 0
9013 You scratch mine, and I will scratch yours. Okay? 1.1852 0.05003 81 68 11 2
9014 doggone, champ. it's a collar, not a helmet! 1.1852 0.05003 81 68 11 2
9015 It's so my balls can't lick me... 1.1852 0.05856 81 71 5 5
9016 My owner put it on so I can run faster to keep up with him. 1.1852 0.04685 81 67 13 1
9017 They make you wear it this way when you get neutered. 1.1852 0.04685 81 67 13 1
9018 It was a record fart! 1.1852 0.05003 81 68 11 2
9019 It turned inside-out in the wash. 1.1852 0.05303 81 69 9 3
9020 Get some WD 40 Dude! 1.1852 0.05003 81 68 11 2
9021 Hi. I'm Bill. Now that you're in recovery, you won't be tempted to drink as much. 1.1852 0.05303 81 69 9 3
9022 Sisters of Solitude, I presume? 1.1852 0.04685 81 67 13 1
9023 No, mine is to keep others away from it! 1.1852 0.05303 81 69 9 3
9024 My philosophy has always been, ‘The cone’s half full’.” 1.1852 0.05003 81 68 11 2
9025 You've got it ruff. 1.1852 0.05003 81 68 11 2
9026 I prefer the fastback look. 1.1852 0.04343 81 66 15 0
9027 You do realize that we have been wearing these things backwards for centuries now. 1.1852 0.05303 81 69 9 3
9028 Elizabethan Ellie meets her counterpart at the event horizon. 1.1852 0.04685 81 67 13 1
9029 It's the Emily in Paris way! 1.1852 0.05003 81 68 11 2
9030 I tried to kiss her but she ran away but she left me this souvenir as a sign of hope. I call it “lamp’s anatomy” 1.1852 0.04343 81 66 15 0
9031 My healer believed in expanded views 1.1852 0.05003 81 68 11 2
9032 Jaxon. You look like a tryhard schmuck with your collar popped. 1.1852 0.05303 81 69 9 3
9033 It’s so Flying Nun 1.1852 0.05003 81 68 11 2
9034 My name is Hairy Allen and I'm the fastest dog alive. 1.1852 0.05003 81 68 11 2
9035 Maybe it was your cheap tick spray? But she definitely knew. 1.1852 0.05003 81 68 11 2
9036 Fair is foul and foul is fair! 1.1852 0.04685 81 67 13 1
9037 If its not covering your nose it doesnt work 1.1852 0.05003 81 68 11 2
9038 I embrace my personal style even with a minimalist wardrobe. 1.1848 0.04870 92 78 11 3
9039 You are an outie and I am an innie. Perfect 1.1848 0.04352 92 76 15 1
9040 Dont you wont to hear me anymore? 1.1848 0.05110 92 79 9 4
9041 Having second thoughts? 1.1848 0.04619 92 79 10 3
9042 Tell me one more time, HOW do you play telephone? 1.1848 0.04352 92 76 15 1
9043 Docking sequence commenced, prepare to be engaged” 1.1848 0.05338 92 80 7 5
9044 Hey, it's a look. 1.1848 0.04352 92 76 15 1
9045 I still can’t get at the stitches, but I know it much faster! 1.1846 0.05322 65 54 10 1
9046 I thought only belly buttons came in innies and outies. 1.1846 0.05322 65 54 10 1
9047 It looks better if you wear it the other way. 1.1846 0.04850 65 53 12 0
9048 I got mine from Amazon looks like you got yours from Trumpazon. 1.1846 0.05322 65 54 10 1
9049 "So that's the way you're supposed to wear it? I'm changing vets." 1.1846 0.05756 65 55 8 2
9050 So, we meet again, Mr. If Only This Fence Wasn't Here. 1.1845 0.04523 103 87 13 3
9051 No, it's supposed to go over your nose! 1.1842 0.05201 76 64 10 2
9052 Lucky me! Mine's dyslexic! 1.1842 0.04852 76 63 12 1
9053 Outward-facing collars are a tool by the libtards and 5G corporate cabal to keep you sick, poor and trapped inside. Also, may I please sniff your anus now? 1.1842 0.05528 76 65 8 3
9054 I remember when I had to use my tail to point 1.1842 0.05201 76 64 10 2
9055 Try it inside out, Sparky. 1.1842 0.04852 76 63 12 1
9056 Mines for my Tommy John surgery. 1.1842 0.05201 76 64 10 2
9057 what say we hunt and share together ,you do the chasing and I can then distribute the food? 1.1842 0.04476 76 62 14 0
9058 My vet's concierge 1.1842 0.05201 76 64 10 2
9059 At least now you don't have to go around with that MAGA cap any longer. 1.1842 0.05201 76 64 10 2
9060 Call her? I barely know her! 1.1842 0.05837 76 66 6 4
9061 This is so my dick won 1.1842 0.05837 76 66 6 4
9062 I'm wearing this now as a fashion statement. 1.1842 0.05528 76 65 8 3
9063 I know it's not the same, but it's still ruff for both of us." 1.1842 0.04476 76 62 14 0
9064 I've been released to a half way house. 1.1842 0.04476 76 62 14 0
9065 And not only is it more aerodynamic, it's the forefront of fashion! 1.1842 0.05201 76 64 10 2
9066 And you can still lick your balls ! 1.1842 0.05837 76 66 6 4
9067 I think we compliment each other. 1.1842 0.04852 76 63 12 1
9068 What Church? 1.1842 0.04065 76 63 13 0
9069 I think your owner got the plus and minus mixed up. 1.1842 0.04476 76 62 14 0
9070 It really makes my eyes pop. 1.1842 0.05201 76 64 10 2
9071 Stitches, but make it fashion. 1.1842 0.04852 76 63 12 1
9072 Doga has really changed my perspective on life. 1.1842 0.05201 76 64 10 2
9073 This helps me discover meaning among the stars 1.1842 0.04065 76 63 13 0
9074 I think it's the other way around 1.1842 0.05528 76 65 8 3
9075 Who’s backwards now? 1.1842 0.05528 76 65 8 3
9076 I feel shame way more aerodynamically this way. 1.1839 0.05047 87 74 10 3
9077 Let's play rocket-ship. You smell my butt. 1.1839 0.04486 87 72 14 1
9078 You're lucky to have that privacy screen. 1.1839 0.04775 87 73 12 2
9079 "A little hot under the collar, are we?" 1.1839 0.05305 87 75 8 4
9080 I'm from Australia. You? 1.1839 0.04486 87 72 14 1
9081 My vet is an old leftie. 1.1839 0.05047 87 74 10 3
9082 Virgil Abloh designed my cone! 1.1839 0.05047 87 74 10 3
9083 Is it all the same anyway? 1.1839 0.05047 87 74 10 3
9084 It wasn't until I saw the tiktok hack that I realized we've been wearing them all wrong! 1.1839 0.04486 87 72 14 1
9085 Haha, you’ve got a stupid thing around your neck 1.1839 0.05305 87 75 8 4
9086 So you're telling me those dumb humans don't know how to use a mask? 1.1839 0.04486 87 72 14 1
9087 If you scratch my back, I’ll scratch yours. 1.1837 0.04435 98 82 14 2
9088 Something had to change. 1.1835 0.04546 109 93 12 4
9089 It’s just more appropriate, my owner is a minister. 1.1833 0.06056 60 51 7 2
9090 you, guys, are never in fashion 1.1831 0.05424 71 60 9 2
9091 It sure is windy outside! 1.1831 0.05424 71 60 9 2
9092 It’s all about sex. 1.1831 0.05424 71 60 9 2
9093 Mines so I can’t smell my own winds. 1.1831 0.05424 71 60 9 2
9094 I've developed a self-love mindset— No shame! 1.1831 0.05424 71 60 9 2
9095 You know, cones don't work. 1.1831 0.05424 71 60 9 2
9096 Alright Sam, I'm gonna lick yours from 9:00 till Noon, you lick mine from 1:00 to 5:00, deal ? 1.1831 0.05424 71 60 9 2
9097 I decided to become a nun. 1.1831 0.06121 71 62 5 4
9098 I've been listening to Kriss Kross. 1.1831 0.05783 71 61 7 3
9099 This is how you wear a lampshade. 1.1831 0.05424 71 60 9 2
9100 Sure, lie down and I'll lick 'em for you 1.1831 0.05039 71 59 11 1
9101 I convinced my owner they were putting it on backwards. 1.1831 0.05424 71 60 9 2
9102 Yes, I know it is on backwards--but I am now so much more aerodynamic than you are! 1.1831 0.05424 71 60 9 2
9103 We couldn't find the owner's manual. 1.1831 0.05039 71 59 11 1
9104 You know I've always gone against the grain. 1.1831 0.05783 71 61 7 3
9105 I went with a third opinion 1.1831 0.05039 71 59 11 1
9106 ‘Yeah, already tried the outie look” 1.1831 0.04623 71 58 13 0
9107 I'm sorry, but you look like you're auditioning for the Hand maid's Tale. 1.1831 0.05783 71 61 7 3
9108 It’s simple man! Just make sure they put it on after they’ve been excessively drinking while watching Netflix! 1.1831 0.05424 71 60 9 2
9109 I have a medical conditon. 1.1831 0.05039 71 59 11 1
9110 I will help you show our owners that "separate but equal" is just a big pile of our poo. " 1.1829 0.05243 82 70 9 3
9111 I'm self-employed. And I'm in turnaround." 1.1829 0.04296 82 67 15 0
9112 It's a male - female thing. 1.1829 0.04947 82 69 11 2
9113 It's called a fashion statement. 1.1829 0.04633 82 68 13 1
9114 You've got your neck brace on backwards. 1.1829 0.04947 82 69 11 2
9115 ... and I have my own seat at the kitchen table too. 1.1829 0.04633 82 68 13 1
9116 'It cuts out the echo chamber thing." 1.1829 0.05522 82 71 7 4
9117 This is cultural appropriation Rex 1.1829 0.04296 82 67 15 0
9118 This is how you stop the echo! 1.1829 0.04633 82 68 13 1
9119 Good try. But your mask is wrong as well... 1.1829 0.04633 82 68 13 1
9120 Don't you think the retro look suits me better? 1.1829 0.04793 82 71 8 3
9121 Nice outie ... 1.1829 0.05243 82 70 9 3
9122 True, I can’t store treats, but it’s much more aerodynamically efficient. 1.1829 0.04633 82 68 13 1
9123 Mommy said "innies" are cuter. 1.1829 0.04633 82 68 13 1
9124 If at first an idea is not absurd, there is no hope for it. 1.1829 0.04633 82 68 13 1
9125 Canine Polarization 1.1829 0.04633 82 68 13 1
9126 I know, I know. I woke up on the wrong side of the bed. 1.1829 0.04947 82 69 11 2
9127 So I said to the vet, I'll wear it, but only if you can fix it so I don't break my neck when I stick my head out of the car window. 1.1829 0.04947 82 69 11 2
9128 Not only that, it's aerodynamic! 1.1829 0.04296 82 67 15 0
9129 That looks more than uncomfortable. 1.1829 0.05243 82 70 9 3
9130 Were you spayed? I broke my collar bone when they tried to spay me. 1.1829 0.05243 82 70 9 3
9131 Don't let this collar deter you from sniffing my butt. 1.1829 0.05243 82 70 9 3
9132 They always say go to the light. Bad idea. 1.1829 0.04633 82 68 13 1
9133 O.K., now you blow. 1.1829 0.04296 82 67 15 0
9134 You can't make me wear a mask. I'm a liber-terrier. 1.1829 0.04633 82 68 13 1
9135 So we innies are much less common. 1.1829 0.04947 82 69 11 2
9136 Thats weird, the call me Yang. 1.1829 0.05522 82 71 7 4
9137 Butt for the grace of God. 1.1829 0.04947 82 69 11 2
9138 People are saying this is the best cone they’ve ever seen. 1.1829 0.04947 82 69 11 2
9139 I like to look on the bright side. 1.1829 0.04296 82 67 15 0
9140 I had no idea you were an anti-masker 1.1829 0.04633 82 68 13 1
9141 ‘No no I’m not barking, I’m telling you I made a RUFF’ 1.1829 0.04947 82 69 11 2
9142 Mine’s from Australia. 1.1829 0.04947 82 69 11 2
9143 It’s called aerodynamics, Karen 1.1829 0.04633 82 68 13 1
9144 It’s all about the aero. 1.1829 0.04947 82 69 11 2
9145 Neutered, but make it fashion 1.1829 0.04633 82 68 13 1
9146 A new streamline design! 1.1829 0.04947 82 69 11 2
9147 I guess they thought my butt was my face. 1.1829 0.05243 82 70 9 3
9148 You need a new owner! 1.1829 0.04947 82 69 11 2
9149 I think I found my better half. 1.1829 0.04633 82 68 13 1
9150 Fleas? No I am transitioning to be a super hero 1.1829 0.04947 82 69 11 2
9151 The cat showed me. Of course, God knows where hers is. 1.1828 0.04573 93 78 13 2
9152 Next time request a virtual Zoom appointment - the screen display is inverted. 1.1828 0.04573 93 78 13 2
9153 Just when you thought you had it all figured out, that one individual comes along and shows you just how much you don't care to be right, but rather selectively wrong. 1.1828 0.04573 93 78 13 2
9154 I told you. Popped up collars just don't look as good. 1.1828 0.04822 93 79 11 3
9155 I am speed 1.1828 0.04822 93 79 11 3
9156 If you’re yin I must be ? 1.1828 0.05058 93 80 9 4
9157 Vivienne Westwood! And, you? 1.1828 0.04573 93 78 13 2
9158 Don’t be a bad boy and wear it correctly! 1.1828 0.05058 93 80 9 4
9159 I’ve been very gassy lately. 1.1818 0.04784 66 54 12 0
9160 Dog Cone. Wanna listen to Snoop or something’? 1.1818 0.04424 77 63 14 0
9161 Air resistance sucks. 1.1818 0.05675 66 56 8 2
9162 This is how the kids are wearing these days. 1.1818 0.05139 77 65 10 2
9163 "It's so my stitches don't scratch at me 1.1818 0.04725 88 74 12 2
9164 Dude: I need to ask a gigantic favor from you. 1.1818 0.05139 77 65 10 2
9165 I can't lick my balls like I used to, but the action I get on other dog's nuts is insane! 1.1818 0.05675 66 56 8 2
9166 Do you know you have it on backward? 1.1818 0.05139 77 65 10 2
9167 Wearing a cone that way is a sign of weakness. 1.1818 0.04795 77 64 12 1
9168 Hit the doggie door. The wind is up to like 45 miles an hour, bro. 1.1818 0.05139 77 65 10 2
9169 It's an eco-cone, less drag and more miles per bowl. 1.1818 0.05249 88 76 8 4
9170 You don't know what you're missing! 1.1818 0.05675 66 56 8 2
9171 Whadda ya mean, you have NEVER heard of Walden Pond? 1.1818 0.05249 66 55 10 1
9172 Don't think of it as the cone of shame! Think of it as a new fashion statement. 1.1818 0.05139 77 65 10 2
9173 I eat lamps from the bottom up. 1.1818 0.04725 88 74 12 2
9174 Fake news. 1.1818 0.04840 99 85 10 4
9175 I go more for the Elizabethan look. 1.1818 0.04994 88 75 10 3
9176 There's a new model for extroverts. 1.1818 0.05249 88 76 8 4
9177 Pfizer. Can't you get an appointment? 1.1818 0.05139 77 65 10 2
9178 Look now I’m an English Collar Setter! 1.1818 0.05139 77 65 10 2
9179 You get surround sound, I get streamlined spreed 1.1818 0.04440 88 73 14 1
9180 Popped collar? How avant-garde. 1.1818 0.05855 55 46 8 1
9181 Looks like you're in a ruff spot. 1.1818 0.04424 77 68 6 3
9182 They’re entirely reversible - for when you need to look stylish. 1.1818 0.04393 99 83 14 2
9183 I came from a backward state. What else can I say? 1.1818 0.04424 77 63 14 0
9184 Less wind resistance 1.1818 0.05461 77 66 8 3
9185 Cool, right? 1.1818 0.04994 88 75 10 3
9186 Don’t take it personally. It’s just an introvert/extrovert thing. 1.1818 0.05766 77 67 6 4
9187 No, I'm not sick--I was just doing a party trick. 1.1818 0.04795 77 64 12 1
9188 You scratch my itch, baby! 1.1818 0.05675 66 56 8 2
9189 wear the collar of glory - FEAR ME 1.1818 0.04424 77 63 14 0
9190 My parents are dyslexic, can you tell? 1.1818 0.05766 77 67 6 4
9191 THIS is McQueen. Who are you wearing? 1.1818 0.04795 77 64 12 1
9192 It allows me to bite and keep the blood off of me! 1.1818 0.05461 77 66 8 3
9193 I get more respect since I caught my tail 1.1818 0.05139 77 65 10 2
9194 If you're evil, I'm medieval. 1.1818 0.06404 55 47 6 2
9195 This way makes it a whole lot easier to put on a necktie 1.1818 0.05139 77 65 10 2
9196 Come on, Buddy - these days you gotta turn that frown upside down. 1.1818 0.05461 77 66 8 3
9197 Why?.. cuz I catch more cars this way. 1.1818 0.04725 88 74 12 2
9198 Nah, I don't go in for that Handmaids Tale stuff. 1.1818 0.05461 77 66 8 3
9199 I know we're domesticated, Martha, but I refuse to look like an extra from the Handmaid's Tale 1.1818 0.05139 77 65 10 2
9200 But my human wears his mask this way. 1.1818 0.05766 77 67 6 4
9201 Hey, Woof, I got the Vaccine... You haven't yet? 1.1818 0.04994 88 75 10 3
9202 my food does not hang around my neck ! 1.1818 0.04795 77 64 12 1
9203 My vet's a mohel. 1.1818 0.04795 77 64 12 1
9204 Yeah, I went with the new aerodynamic model so I can still chase birds” Jodi Zimmerman, New York Cit 1.1818 0.05461 77 66 8 3
9205 I can't hear as well, but I can see more things. 1.1818 0.05139 77 65 10 2
9206 Do you like mine? I got it at a flea market 1.1818 0.04725 88 74 12 2
9207 I'm sorry. we'd never make a good match. You're an innie and I"m an outie 1.1818 0.05139 77 65 10 2
9208 Chase a stick into the wind. 1.1818 0.04795 77 64 12 1
9209 Well, it’s a mental wound: body dysmorphic disorder. 1.1818 0.05461 77 66 8 3
9210 80s were a bit avant-garde for my taste 1.1818 0.05139 77 65 10 2
9211 I am in transit 1.1818 0.04725 88 74 12 2
9212 It's the new aerodynamic style. 1.1818 0.04784 66 54 12 0
9213 Either way, it's still quite humiliating. 1.1818 0.06072 66 57 6 3
9214 You must be neuter 50 shades of spay 1.1818 0.05139 77 65 10 2
9215 So, what's it gonna be, pre-school? or Obedience School? 1.1818 0.04725 88 74 12 2
9216 The cone goes over the snout. 1.1818 0.04393 99 83 14 2
9217 We have to go back to the vet, and this time they're keeping the car windows close. 1.1818 0.06072 66 57 6 3
9218 You’re still wearing a MAGA cone... 1.1818 0.05249 88 76 8 4
9219 Didn’t you see the one-way sign? 1.1818 0.03896 99 81 18 0
9220 Keep the mask over your nose you fool! 1.1818 0.04994 88 75 10 3
9221 Did you call for a super hero? 1.1818 0.04795 77 64 12 1
9222 You still wear your cone that way? Learn to do your own research, you sheep! 1.1818 0.05249 66 55 10 1
9223 Tommy change it so I can drink, but now I can't sleep. 1.1818 0.05461 77 66 8 3
9224 Look, it’s all about, what YOU want. You either scratch the itch of the itch scratches you. 1.1818 0.05139 77 65 10 2
9225 She kiss so pasionate! 1.1818 0.05139 77 65 10 2
9226 You know it’s a matter of aereodynamics 1.1818 0.04994 88 75 10 3
9227 I didn't like the perspective 1.1818 0.05249 66 55 10 1
9228 *sigh* It doesn’t work if you wear it like that. 1.1818 0.05675 66 56 8 2
9229 They’re called ‘alternative facts’ 1.1818 0.04840 99 85 10 4
9230 it's fashion, it doesn't have to be degrading 1.1818 0.05249 66 55 10 1
9231 Clothes make the man 1.1809 0.04268 94 78 15 1
9232 So tell me, how does your toilet paper unroll? 1.1809 0.05008 94 81 9 4
9233 Mitch is a dour, sullen, and unsmiling political hack. 1.1809 0.04528 94 79 13 2
9234 I must have been reading the directions in Arabic 1.1809 0.04268 94 78 15 1
9235 It's a Match! 1.1809 0.05008 94 81 9 4
9236 Right to left: “Why is yours on backwards?” 1.1809 0.05008 94 81 9 4
9237 Whadaya think? My owner sprang for collar ID. 1.1807 0.04892 83 70 11 2
9238 I sniffed Blackie with a cold nose, she backed up hard, and, well, you can figure out the rest... 1.1807 0.04892 83 70 11 2
9239 He's known as The Contrarian Veterinarian. 1.1807 0.05184 83 71 9 3
9240 ...And the next thing I know, I'm picking myself up off a grate on Oxford Street" 1.1807 0.04892 83 70 11 2
9241 Aerodynamically, I get an extra 10,000 tail wags per feeding. 1.1807 0.04892 83 70 11 2
9242 I wanted to vicariously support you after your surgery. 1.1807 0.04582 83 69 13 1
9243 I turned my cone of shame into a collar of fame. 1.1807 0.04582 83 69 13 1
9244 J’adore Vogue aussi. 1.1807 0.04892 83 70 11 2
9245 i think you and i are a perfect fit. 1.1807 0.04582 83 69 13 1
9246 It’s a matter of if you are an introvert or an extrovert! 1.1807 0.04582 83 69 13 1
9247 It's simple! Arf! Just turn it backwards! 1.1807 0.04892 83 70 11 2
9248 I dunno, I am the same dog I was before , I just feel a lot more woke. 1.1807 0.05184 83 71 9 3
9249 Oh, I see you got yours at the hearing clinic. Does it help you hear better? 1.1807 0.04249 83 68 15 0
9250 We must have the same stylist. 1.1807 0.04892 83 70 11 2
9251 I'm just being fashion forward, that's all. 1.1807 0.04249 83 68 15 0
9252 My owners are "far-right" thinkers 1.1807 0.04249 83 68 15 0
9253 Where did you find a neck warmer with wireless headphones? 1.1807 0.04892 83 70 11 2
9254 No, I live in a monastery. 1.1807 0.04892 83 70 11 2
9255 It's all about the attitude. 1.1807 0.04892 83 70 11 2
9256 I still can’t lick my balls, but it’s stylish. 1.1807 0.04892 83 70 11 2
9257 Seriously, I ran at break-neck speed, and when I hit the doggy door it flipped inside out! 1.1807 0.04892 83 70 11 2
9258 Who told you it was a fashion statement? 1.1807 0.05184 83 71 9 3
9259 I'm a contraire. 1.1807 0.04892 83 70 11 2
9260 You can wear it this way again. He lost the election. 1.1807 0.04892 83 70 11 2
9261 now it's my turn to be on the newyorkermag 1.1807 0.04582 83 69 13 1
9262 I SAAAAIIID: IT WORKS BETTER THIS WAY!! 1.1807 0.05460 83 72 7 4
9263 That collar is so 2020! 1.1807 0.05184 83 71 9 3
9264 Rock Paper Scissors. . 1.1807 0.05460 83 72 7 4
9265 damn the torpedoes, full steam ahead 1.1807 0.05460 83 72 7 4
9266 Ingenuity, man. Ingenuity. 1.1807 0.05184 83 71 9 3
9267 Hmm... When I give my owner puppy dog eyes, she doesn't flip my cone around! 1.1807 0.04582 83 69 13 1
9268 Don't you get it? We are two woofers with isobaric mounting of our cones! 1.1806 0.05354 72 61 9 2
9269 My owner doesn't have a clue, she put mine on backwards and I'm loving it! 1.1806 0.04975 72 60 11 1
9270 No gender identity issues here. 1.1806 0.04975 72 60 11 1
9271 A 20 mph wind will teach you the value of aerodynamics. 1.1806 0.05708 72 62 7 3
9272 Now the whole wprld knows what happened to me at the vets.". 1.1806 0.04975 72 60 11 1
9273 They never told you about the drag coefficient of a cone 1.1806 0.04565 72 59 13 0
9274 Mine is more aerodynamic, and stop sticking your head outside of the car's side window. 1.1806 0.04565 72 59 13 0
9275 We fit together like hand and glove 1.1806 0.05354 72 61 9 2
9276 Yours is SOOO 2020! 1.1806 0.05354 72 61 9 2
9277 You scratch my back, I lick your balls. 1.1806 0.06041 72 63 5 4
9278 This is the latest fashion in lampshade wearing 1.1806 0.05708 72 62 7 3
9279 I took the quiz—my body shape is an inverted cone. 1.1806 0.04565 72 59 13 0
9280 When I'm running before the wind on a sunny day, it's glorious. 1.1806 0.05354 72 61 9 2
9281 You should try it. It works both ways. 1.1806 0.04975 72 60 11 1
9282 My therapist specializes in cone disorders. 1.1806 0.05354 72 61 9 2
9283 nurse Ratched down the hallway on your left.. 1.1806 0.05354 72 61 9 2
9284 It was a tough breakup but I decided to pop a collar and rock that look on the singles scene instead of just licking my wounds. 1.1806 0.05354 72 61 9 2
9285 I went to get her sock out of the dryer, and BAM! the cone flipped and now I run faster than Sparky and feel like a Royal. 1.1806 0.05354 72 61 9 2
9286 I just put my head in the sand! 1.1806 0.04565 72 59 13 0
9287 If you run at the wall really fast, you can get it to flip like this, see?! 1.1806 0.05354 72 61 9 2
9288 That’s what they do when your bark is worse than your bite? 1.1806 0.05354 72 61 9 2
9289 It's called fashion. You should try it some time. 1.1806 0.04975 72 60 11 1
9290 It's not as good as a mask but it'll help. 1.1806 0.05354 72 61 9 2
9291 You are so out of fashion! 1.1806 0.05354 72 61 9 2
9292 I wanted to look butch, not flower face. 1.1806 0.04975 72 60 11 1
9293 Esthetics is one thing, but my drag coefficient went down substantially 1.1806 0.04975 72 60 11 1
9294 The storming of the Capitol was the final straw, so I decide to change parties. 1.1806 0.05354 72 61 9 2
9295 ‘That’s a good look, but I’m pretty sure it goes over your mouth AND nose.’ 1.1806 0.04975 72 60 11 1
9296 Didn’t you hear? Up is out. 1.1806 0.04975 72 60 11 1
9297 I’ve been getting really into the science of aerodynamics lately 1.1806 0.05354 72 61 9 2
9298 Illness? No. Party. 1.1806 0.04565 72 59 13 0
9299 Turns out my new owner is a mohel. 1.1806 0.04975 72 60 11 1
9300 Please, not another TikTok challenge. 1.1806 0.05354 72 61 9 2
9301 It’s this new trend on TikTok. 1.1806 0.04975 72 60 11 1
9302 One of us is going to have to change. 1.1803 0.06405 61 53 5 3
9303 With your hearing and my vision, we make quite a dynamic duo” 1.1803 0.05486 61 51 9 1
9304 That look's so 2020! 1.1798 0.05193 89 77 8 4
9305 I'm in grad school now. 1.1798 0.04676 89 75 12 2
9306 Not sure the upgrade is worth the money? 1.1798 0.04394 89 74 14 1
9307 You're lucky cause you don't have to see those sneaky backstappers! 1.1798 0.04394 89 74 14 1
9308 Just tell them they put it on backwards and now you've got a neck gator! 1.1798 0.04394 89 74 14 1
9309 Style is everything, Ethel! 1.1798 0.05193 89 77 8 4
9310 I'm sexy your just weird!! 1.1798 0.04676 89 75 12 2
9311 Where did you buy land? 1.1798 0.04676 89 75 12 2
9312 A popped collar is so 90’s dawg. 1.1798 0.05193 89 77 8 4
9313 'Cause inside-out-- it's wiggida wiggida wiggida wack! 1.1798 0.04394 89 74 14 1
9314 Well, you would think one of us would know how to wear a “ruff” collar! 1.1795 0.05396 78 67 8 3
9315 I use it when I go in reverse..... 1.1795 0.05396 78 67 8 3
9316 Your cone of fame is backwards 1.1795 0.05078 78 66 10 2
9317 We are sooooo made for each other! 1.1795 0.04739 78 65 12 1
9318 The tail kept trying to wag the dog. 1.1795 0.05396 78 67 8 3
9319 The ying and yang of health maintenance 1.1795 0.04739 78 65 12 1
9320 Check it out, Bro. My human dude told me this is the dope way to wear it. 1.1795 0.05078 78 66 10 2
9321 Stop whining. It’s just a case of reverse psychology. 1.1795 0.04373 78 64 14 0
9322 Just to make sure our union is eternal. 1.1795 0.04739 78 65 12 1
9323 Just being my usual fashion forward 1.1795 0.04739 78 65 12 1
9324 I wanted 1.1795 0.04739 78 65 12 1
9325 Let it go Max, ya need a long neck to make this work. 1.1795 0.04739 78 65 12 1
9326 I value counterintuitive thinking. 1.1795 0.04739 78 65 12 1
9327 I take it you haven't heard of streamlining? 1.1795 0.05396 78 67 8 3
9328 My human's at Pratt." 1.1795 0.05078 78 66 10 2
9329 Sometimes a backward owner is a good thing.... But seriously,at least it's not a MAGA hat. 1.1795 0.04739 78 65 12 1
9330 It’s not a metaphor. It is an echo chamber. 1.1795 0.05078 78 66 10 2
9331 I had that one on before. Now, I'm in remission. 1.1795 0.04739 78 65 12 1
9332 Next time try this: "Ruff, ruff, ruff, ruff, ruff !" 1.1795 0.04739 78 65 12 1
9333 How did you know I just came from Chicago? 1.1795 0.05078 78 66 10 2
9334 I just got tired of the echo chamber and opted for the chin lifter. 1.1795 0.05078 78 66 10 2
9335 My vet thought it would make me more socially accessible. 1.1795 0.05396 78 67 8 3
9336 Potatoes potaatos,tomatoes tomaatos 1.1795 0.04373 78 64 14 0
9337 What you in for? They caught me littering. 1.1795 0.05696 78 68 6 4
9338 There comes a time when you just want to let down your guard. 1.1795 0.05396 78 67 8 3
9339 Talk about coupling! 1.1795 0.05078 78 66 10 2
9340 Quarantine Schmarantine! I’m treating it as a fashion accessory for parties. 1.1795 0.04739 78 65 12 1
9341 I guess it’s more aerodynamic. 1.1795 0.05078 78 66 10 2
9342 My therapist said I should broaden my horizons. 1.1795 0.05396 78 67 8 3
9343 What? I, too, ‘contain multitudes.’ 1.1795 0.04739 78 65 12 1
9344 Am I a man of the cloth? Not yet, but I am booking weddings come June 1.1795 0.04739 78 65 12 1
9345 It's supposed to make me heel quicker. 1.1795 0.05078 78 66 10 2
9346 Is it Thanksgiving already? 1.1795 0.05078 78 66 10 2
9347 The influence of hiphop culture has finally made its way to the extremely demanding world of dog fashion. 1.1795 0.04373 78 64 14 0
9348 it actually has to go over your nose 1.1795 0.05078 78 66 10 2
9349 : Whose might ‘twas ; whose very sight w’d, O! Give ‘em a mirror 🪞 of tilted knighthood :) 1.1795 0.05078 78 66 10 2
9350 You scratch my back, I'll scratch yours . 1.1791 0.04720 67 55 12 0
9351 Mother always liked me best. 1.1791 0.05177 67 56 10 1
9352 I call it creative solidarity 1.1791 0.04720 67 55 12 0
9353 My human was scratching me so much that I put it on to protect myself. It’s driving him crazy though. 1.1791 0.05597 67 57 8 2
9354 No more come, come, good boy, good boy. The echo's gone. 1.1791 0.05597 67 57 8 2
9355 I think of it as turning my frown upside down. 1.1791 0.04720 67 55 12 0
9356 So I thought, "Cone of Shame - no way, Buddy" - I'll turn it into the "Cone of Fame" by getting into a New Yorker cartoon. 1.1791 0.06700 67 60 2 5
9357 It's on backwards Joe!!!!! 1.1791 0.05597 67 57 8 2
9358 I get it. We’re different. 1.1791 0.04720 67 55 12 0
9359 Well, I went down a rabbit hole... 1.1791 0.05177 67 56 10 1
9360 Yes it’s true, mine doesn’t work that way. 1.1791 0.04720 67 55 12 0
9361 Do you not understand what “trending” means? 1.1791 0.05177 67 56 10 1
9362 They call me ConRex. 1.1791 0.05597 67 57 8 2
9363 #744 Guess I lucked out my owner is a Trumper-guess you weren't so lucky. 1.1791 0.05987 67 58 6 3
9364 These truly are unprecedented times. 1.1791 0.05177 67 56 10 1
9365 That’s right. I’m flipping the script. 1.1791 0.05177 67 56 10 1
9366 If you’re going to wear it like that at least stand 6 feet back 1.1791 0.05177 67 56 10 1
9367 Let's do it! 1.1789 0.03954 95 78 17 0
9368 Quid pro quo: I’ll scratch your back if you scratch my back 1.1789 0.04484 95 80 13 2
9369 You're getting ahead of yourself 1.1786 0.04532 84 70 13 1
9370 It’s all about style! 1.1786 0.04838 84 71 11 2
9371 Fashionable AND it does wonders for your confidence. 1.1786 0.04532 84 70 13 1
9372 If you just didn't have a head we would be a perfect fit. 1.1786 0.04838 84 71 11 2
9373 I'' ll show you my itch if you show be yours. 1.1786 0.04838 84 71 11 2
9374 Keeps the food off my snazzy new collar. 1.1786 0.04204 84 69 15 0
9375 I know... they said the same thing about Leisure Suits, but my master is very retro. 1.1786 0.04532 84 70 13 1
9376 Looks like we are two horns of the same dilemma. 1.1786 0.04532 84 70 13 1
9377 You need to wake up! No one believes in Covid anymore. 1.1786 0.04838 84 71 11 2
9378 Here's some off the cuff advice... 1.1786 0.04838 84 74 7 3
9379 My owner wasn't awake this morning. Quick! You choose, I'll nip. 1.1786 0.04838 84 71 11 2
9380 What's with the beer bong? 1.1786 0.04532 84 70 13 1
9381 Fashion? I just leaned too hard against the sink. 1.1786 0.04838 84 71 11 2
9382 I swear the description said Bridgerton collar... maybe if we turn it around? 1.1786 0.04204 84 69 15 0
9383 I've always been anti-Elizabethan, William. 1.1786 0.05126 84 72 9 3
9384 We won't judge you! 1.1786 0.04838 84 71 11 2
9385 And to think you said my master was inept! 1.1786 0.05164 56 46 10 0
9386 It's supposed to go over your nose, Rover! 1.1786 0.05399 84 73 7 4
9387 It's to keep my tail from itching my nose. 1.1786 0.04532 84 70 13 1
9388 I'm trying to wean myself off" 1.1786 0.04838 84 71 11 2
9389 How about you scratch mine, and I'll scratch yours? 1.1786 0.04204 84 69 15 0
9390 It looks like mine truly is the best friend. 1.1786 0.04532 84 70 13 1
9391 I went with the Sport” 1.1786 0.04532 84 70 13 1
9392 My owner preferred a random you tube video rather than his own gut 1.1786 0.05164 56 46 10 0
9393 Didn’t you hear? It’s Opposite Day! 1.1786 0.04532 84 70 13 1
9394 So you’re a funny guy, eh? 1.1786 0.04838 84 71 11 2
9395 My doctor was an aerodynamicist 1.1786 0.05126 84 72 9 3
9396 Hi! You are already dressed for Spring? 1.1782 0.04750 101 87 10 4
9397 What are you lookin at? 1.1782 0.04537 101 86 12 3
9398 I got caught in a wind shear..... 1.1781 0.05286 73 62 9 2
9399 I peed 'M Stevens' on the carpet! 1.1781 0.05286 73 62 9 2
9400 Do you have an innie or an outie? 1.1781 0.04913 73 61 11 1
9401 Sorry to see that you've been defrocked. 1.1781 0.05286 73 62 9 2
9402 It's been a real game-changer for me! 1.1781 0.04913 73 61 11 1
9403 My owner is a politician. 1.1781 0.04509 73 60 13 0
9404 Dabbling with the deconstructed look 1.1781 0.04913 73 61 11 1
9405 Mine is prophylactic 1.1781 0.04913 73 61 11 1
9406 I was always happy I have an inny 1.1781 0.05286 73 62 9 2
9407 My groomer says it's more flattering this way. 1.1781 0.04913 73 61 11 1
9408 I find it less stigmatic like this. 1.1781 0.05286 73 62 9 2
9409 At least That Way, it amplifies Barking 1.1781 0.05634 73 63 7 3
9410 I should introduce you to my natural medicine veterinarian. 1.1781 0.05634 73 63 7 3
9411 I graduated to a collar. 1.1781 0.05286 73 62 9 2
9412 I'm gassy. 1.1781 0.05634 73 63 7 3
9413 Wearing your collar like that is a plot the Democrats came up with so you can't hear dog whistles. 1.1781 0.05286 73 62 9 2
9414 Yes, that was me barking hello out the car window. 1.1781 0.05286 73 62 9 2
9415 Hi, They call me Peripheral, you must be Tunnel. 1.1781 0.05286 73 62 9 2
9416 I'm just wearing this to fit in. 1.1781 0.05634 73 63 7 3
9417 I hear Bill Gates is microchipping people too now. 1.1781 0.05286 73 62 9 2
9418 The lamp and the lion are two opposite faces of a coin 1.1781 0.04509 73 60 13 0
9419 Don't worry Rex, you'll be okay 1.1781 0.04913 73 61 11 1
9420 The vet said I had a buttface. 1.1778 0.04628 90 76 12 2
9421 Oh, I see you have a formal cone on.” 1.1778 0.05139 90 78 8 4
9422 Be patient. You will graduate soon. 1.1778 0.04890 90 77 10 3
9423 Wearing the preppy look doesn't make you purebred. 1.1778 0.04628 90 76 12 2
9424 I got an innie. I love your outie. 1.1778 0.04890 90 77 10 3
9425 I still have a chance with her. 1.1778 0.04350 90 75 14 1
9426 This is one trippy Zoom call. 1.1778 0.04053 90 74 16 0
9427 This is how they wear it in Europe 1.1778 0.04628 90 76 12 2
9428 I went to this dyslexic vet... he balled my chops off. 1.1778 0.05377 90 79 6 5
9429 Apparently, being a 'howling spotlight' is not appreciated. 1.1774 0.05874 62 53 7 2
9430 My place or yours? 1.1774 0.05405 62 52 9 1
9431 Either way, I feel like a fashion victim 1.1774 0.04891 62 51 11 0
9432 Yeah, so I was complaining about how inefficient my body shape is for grooming, to my owner. Next day, they come home with this, and just completely change the butt-licking game. My aerodynamics are lit, bro. 1.1774 0.05405 62 52 9 1
9433 I always preferred turtle necks 1.1774 0.05405 62 52 9 1
9434 I prefer the more modern capelet to the Elizabethan design. 1.1774 0.05874 62 53 7 2
9435 Well,clearly now neither of us are winning the 1.1774 0.05405 62 52 9 1
9436 Pilgrims everywhere. Watch your back. 1.1774 0.05405 62 52 9 1
9437 You'll get better mileage plus cats won't laugh at you. 1.1774 0.05405 62 52 9 1
9438 This is much more aerodynamic for hanging you head out of the car window. 1.1774 0.05405 62 52 9 1
9439 Prada or Versace? 1.1772 0.05332 79 68 8 3
9440 I ‘m all about comfort, but you’re not? 1.1772 0.05018 79 67 10 2
9441 Have you tried reversing it? It’s somewhat limiting but I can still get to the parts that are really itchy 1.1772 0.04684 79 66 12 1
9442 I know, my owner's dyslexic! 1.1772 0.05332 79 68 8 3
9443 'Fashion's new black, they tell me'. 1.1772 0.04684 79 66 12 1
9444 Karb! Karb! Karb! 1.1772 0.05018 79 67 10 2
9445 I think it keeps my butt from licking my face." 1.1772 0.05018 79 67 10 2
9446 Are you ready for a really good “conehead style” canine colloquy? I think we’d be consummately compatible! 1.1772 0.05018 79 67 10 2
9447 As you can see...what you just told me blew me away! 1.1772 0.05018 79 67 10 2
9448 Swiping right is a good start. 1.1772 0.05018 79 67 10 2
9449 I’m available 1.1772 0.04324 79 65 14 0
9450 Rex, you're missing the opportunity. By flipping it around, I've reduced my wind drag by 66%! 1.1772 0.04684 79 66 12 1
9451 I was REALLY hungry. 1.1772 0.05332 79 68 8 3
9452 You should see the other guy! 1.1772 0.05018 79 67 10 2
9453 Introducing a new trend 1.1772 0.04684 79 66 12 1
9454 Well it may be on backwards, but at least I can snif 1.1772 0.04684 79 66 12 1
9455 You say potayto...I say potahto! 1.1772 0.05018 79 67 10 2
9456 Just had round two of the vaccine and the world already looks brighter! 1.1772 0.05332 79 68 8 3
9457 If my human gets to wear their mask on their chin, I get to wear my cone backwards. Plus, it’s aerodynamic! 1.1772 0.05332 79 68 8 3
9458 French or butterfly style? 1.1772 0.05332 79 66 11 2
9459 Comes with having a turnaround specialist in the family. 1.1771 0.04187 96 80 15 1
9460 It’s the ultimate 'indognity' on top of what is already a ruff life. 1.1771 0.04441 96 81 13 2
9461 I had a first year veterinary student put mine on! 1.1771 0.04910 96 83 9 4
9462 I liked the bling aspect, but thought it a bit awkward. 1.1771 0.04187 96 80 15 1
9463 I convinced them I was a greyhound and run better without blinders. 1.1771 0.04441 96 81 13 2
9464 I regret that bite. 1.1765 0.05107 68 57 10 1
9465 My social influencer said it's the happening look. 1.1765 0.04484 85 71 13 1
9466 It's called a visual spatial deficit. Apparently this guy has it really bad. 1.1765 0.04786 85 72 11 2
9467 It looks much cooler this way and it is more aerodynamic too! 1.1765 0.04484 85 71 13 1
9468 My Instagram followers love an edgier look. 1.1765 0.05070 85 73 9 3
9469 Find a hole the right size and then run full tilt at it aiming your nose at the center of the hole ..... 1.1765 0.04484 85 71 13 1
9470 You should see how she wears her bra. 1.1765 0.06265 68 60 4 4
9471 I'm ever so much faster now that I'm streamlined. 1.1765 0.04484 85 71 13 1
9472 It’s a male/female thing. 1.1765 0.04786 85 72 11 2
9473 As the song says, Accentuate the Positive, Eliminate the Negative. 1.1765 0.04484 85 71 13 1
9474 Hey did you hear that there are dogs in the White House?! 1.1765 0.04159 85 70 15 0
9475 I did this to go viral, while you were too virile. 1.1765 0.04484 85 71 13 1
9476 Is fashion... 1.1765 0.05070 85 73 9 3
9477 It is more for aerodynamics than anything, cuts 3 seconds off my walk time" 1.1765 0.05070 85 73 9 3
9478 You are wearing it incorrectly old spot, the Edwardian fashions are back! 1.1765 0.04484 85 71 13 1
9479 No offense intended, but that’s so last year. 1.1765 0.04786 85 72 11 2
9480 A parallel universe? It hard to explain... 1.1765 0.05107 68 57 10 1
9481 You say either, I say either, you say neither, I say neither, let’s take the “hole thing”off. 1.1765 0.05520 68 58 8 2
9482 It’s a new look. 1.1765 0.05107 68 57 10 1
9483 Collar umbrella. 1.1765 0.05107 68 57 10 1
9484 That's crazy! How do you expect to fight with it on that way? 1.1765 0.05070 85 73 9 3
9485 Hey, that was some retro-party last night, huh?" 1.1765 0.04786 85 72 11 2
9486 Rorugh! (Windy!) 1.1765 0.05520 68 58 8 2
9487 Are you the Flying Nun? 1.1765 0.05904 68 59 6 3
9488 Backwards or forwards...I don't care! 1.1765 0.05520 68 58 8 2
9489 They call mine an "innie" and yours an "outie." Innies are preferred. 1.1765 0.04786 85 72 11 2
9490 Don't I look dashing? 1.1765 0.05107 68 57 10 1
9491 Hey, how'd you do that? 1.1765 0.04159 85 70 15 0
9492 This is much better for aerodynamics! 1.1765 0.05520 68 58 8 2
9493 Maybe we can work something out ... cone wise. 1.1765 0.05107 68 57 10 1
9494 Lamps R Us....yours? 1.1765 0.04786 85 72 11 2
9495 You should see what my owner wears! 1.1765 0.05107 68 57 10 1
9496 Fewer bugs this way. 1.1765 0.05070 85 73 9 3
9497 I told you, they read your mind and everything. 1.1765 0.04786 85 72 11 2
9498 It's my freedom shield 1.1765 0.04484 85 71 13 1
9499 I'm a southpaw. 1.1765 0.05520 68 58 8 2
9500 That's not the way to wear it! 1.1765 0.04786 85 72 11 2
9501 i bet that we can take a screenshot of ourselves with our cones. i’m not sure how but i bet we can. 1.1765 0.05520 68 58 8 2
9502 You’re gonna have to speak up. I hear too much back-‘hound’ noise. 1.1765 0.04484 85 71 13 1
9503 Hahaha don’t you know your way of wearing a cone is so yesterday? 1.1765 0.05070 85 73 9 3
9504 .......it’s like a switch that goes on. And when the switch goes on, I feel, I don’t know, I feel like a truck. Like a Machine. 1.1765 0.04159 85 70 15 0
9505 Let me give you my stylist’s Instagram handle. You’re gonna love the way you feel. 1.1765 0.05107 68 57 10 1
9506 ‘Ha! That’s stupid’ 1.1765 0.04159 85 70 15 0
9507 The difference? I make this look good. (credits not to me obvs) 1.1765 0.04786 85 72 11 2
9508 I no longer pop my collar, Steve. 1.1765 0.04484 85 71 13 1
9509 I guess we'll have to sniff one at a time. 1.1758 0.04306 91 76 14 1
9510 It's you, not the cone, that's facing the wrong way. Were you chasing your tail? 1.1758 0.04840 91 78 10 3
9511 It's a lot more stylish this way. 1.1758 0.04840 91 78 10 3
9512 Dahling, you look fierce in that. 1.1758 0.04581 91 77 12 2
9513 I think you have this cone of silence backward. 1.1758 0.04013 91 75 16 0
9514 . Look we have been there, what is it that you need? 1.1758 0.04306 91 76 14 1
9515 I’m just manifesting my dream to be a Push-Pop. 1.1758 0.05086 91 79 8 4
9516 I used Uno reverse card. 1.1758 0.04581 91 77 12 2
9517 Oh this? It’s the new model. Much more aerodynamic, don’t you think? 1.1758 0.04840 91 78 10 3
9518 And you wondered why they named you Ying and me Yang. 1.1757 0.05219 74 63 9 2
9519 You may be man’s best friend. I’m what’s known as a “dog’s best friend” 1.1757 0.05563 74 64 7 3
9520 No, I'm not wearing it wrong. You're just basic. 1.1757 0.04852 74 62 11 1
9521 You got the cone. I got the cup. 1.1757 0.04852 74 62 11 1
9522 Just to be clear - I'm only trying to impress you. 1.1757 0.04852 74 62 11 1
9523 It keeps my tail from catching me. 1.1757 0.05219 74 63 9 2
9524 This gender dressing rule permits us ladies to talk freely beside and behind you gentlemen without you overhearing. 1.1757 0.04852 74 62 11 1
9525 Just tell them. I'm sure they'll understand. 1.1757 0.05219 74 63 9 2
9526 I’m just too cute. 1.1757 0.05886 74 65 5 4
9527 You know, leaving your nose uncovered defeats the purpose. 1.1757 0.05886 74 65 5 4
9528 So, I said to the guy, you're either a cone on backwards or a cone on forwards kinda hound... 1.1757 0.04852 74 62 11 1
9529 It stops the worms from reaching my mouth. 1.1757 0.05219 74 63 9 2
9530 I think it frames your face beautifully but mine, alas. makes me look like a dog wearing a funnel 1.1757 0.04852 74 62 11 1
9531 Is your name Yang by any chance? 1.1757 0.04852 74 62 11 1
9532 Dyslexia does have its advantages. 1.1757 0.04852 74 62 11 1
9533 Lucky you! I asked for "blinders" but they gave me a bib instead. 1.1757 0.05219 74 63 9 2
9534 Itch or body dysmorphia?” 1.1757 0.04852 74 62 11 1
9535 HR seminar notes: it's not ok to ask someone to turn around so you can 'have a sniff' even if your vision is obstructed. 1.1757 0.04852 74 62 11 1
9536 An Elizabethan collar is so 2020. 1.1757 0.05219 74 63 9 2
9537 I put it on to score some of those pain meds you've been telling me about. 1.1757 0.04454 74 61 13 0
9538 Oh Fred who dressed you? A popped collar is all the rage these days. 1.1757 0.05219 74 63 9 2
9539 I can't hear a word you're saying 1.1757 0.05563 74 64 7 3
9540 « Do we kiss? » 1.1757 0.05219 74 63 9 2
9541 Opposite Day is so 2020 1.1757 0.04852 74 62 11 1
9542 Can you hear me judge? I’m here live . . . I’m not a cat. 1.1757 0.04852 74 62 11 1
9543 That eBay guy ripped us off...these are definitely not AirPods. 1.1757 0.05219 74 63 9 2
9544 Marcy, I still can't reach my butthole aption 1.1757 0.04852 74 62 11 1
9545 It came from a scratch and dent sale 1.1757 0.04852 74 62 11 1
9546 Just put your thang down, flip it and reverse it. 1.1757 0.05219 74 63 9 2
9547 You must be the new understudy. 1.1757 0.04852 74 62 11 1
9548 This way my genitals won’t reach my mouth 1.1757 0.04454 74 61 13 0
9549 Wanna spoon? 1.1757 0.04852 74 62 11 1
9550 Look, you just need to embrace the absurd. I’m now living in an Un Chien Andalou reality show. 1.1757 0.04852 74 62 11 1
9551 Sure it looks funny, but now I can lick my balls. 1.1753 0.04148 97 81 15 1
9552 I just wanted to fit in. 1.1750 0.04960 80 68 10 2
9553 I know what you’re thinking - mine is so ‘avant-garde’ in style. But that’s the entire point. 1.1750 0.04960 80 68 10 2
9554 It looks like you've had it up to your neck! 1.1750 0.04960 80 68 10 2
9555 You hear better with yours, but I’m more aerodynamic! 1.1750 0.04960 80 68 10 2
9556 The Elizabethan collar is so 16th century. 1.1750 0.04960 80 68 10 2
9557 You’re backwards. 1.1750 0.04630 80 67 12 1
9558 I got an inny and you got the outy 1.1750 0.04630 80 67 12 1
9559 Aerodynamics-less wind resistance when chasing squirrels. 1.1750 0.05270 80 69 8 3
9560 I thought I'd try the pilgrim look 1.1750 0.04275 80 66 14 0
9561 You are so avant-gard when it comes to fashion. 1.1750 0.04630 80 67 12 1
9562 How is that cone supposed to get rid of the teeth in your asshole? 1.1750 0.04630 80 67 12 1
9563 Yeah, but mine is cone-sensual. 1.1750 0.04960 80 68 10 2
9564 My Man-pet is still in his learning curve. 1.1750 0.04960 80 68 10 2
9565 They let me keep it so I'm using it as my mask. 1.1750 0.04630 80 67 12 1
9566 I'd rather see where I'm going than where I've been. 1.1750 0.04275 80 66 14 0
9567 I realize that scrunchies are back in fashion, Lyle, but that look is so 2020! 1.1750 0.04960 80 68 10 2
9568 Who cares if you’re styling High Imperial and I’m sporting Early Pilgrim. We can still sniff each other’s butts... 1.1750 0.05270 80 69 8 3
9569 You only get to wear it like this f you can spell dog backwards" 1.1750 0.04960 80 68 10 2
9570 My owners don’t want people to think I’m preppy. 1.1750 0.04960 80 68 10 2
9571 It’s the new “cone of body shaming.” 1.1750 0.04630 80 67 12 1
9572 Well that's very fashion forward. 1.1750 0.04630 80 67 12 1
9573 It's what you get when your vet's concierge! 1.1750 0.04960 80 68 10 2
9574 Try talking to them about style! 1.1750 0.04960 80 68 10 2
9575 Cone, but make it fashion. 1.1750 0.04960 80 68 10 2
9576 convex is the new concave 1.1750 0.04960 80 68 10 2
9577 Not how I remember it. Mandela effect? 1.1750 0.04630 80 67 12 1
9578 What?! I’m already vaccinated. 1.1750 0.04960 80 68 10 2
9579 They must think we are fools, Pouch. I 'll scratch you where you can't if you scratch me where I can't reach. 1.1748 0.04455 103 88 12 3
9580 Disconexia, it's a disability commonly found in hounds characterized by trouble in following directions. 1.1746 0.04821 63 52 11 0
9581 My owner calls it the cone of vain. 1.1746 0.05326 63 53 9 1
9582 Do not try to flip the cone. Just try to realize the truth. There is no cone. 1.1746 0.05326 63 53 9 1
9583 It's the latest from Milan. 1.1746 0.05326 63 53 9 1
9584 I just couldn’t see while driving! 1.1746 0.05326 63 53 9 1
9585 Thank dog for dyslexia. 1.1746 0.04821 63 52 11 0
9586 I think your outfit is a bit too revealing 1.1746 0.05326 63 53 9 1
9587 I’m an glass half full kinda guy myself 1.1746 0.05326 63 53 9 1
9588 It's also a hat. 1.1744 0.04436 86 72 13 1
9589 Fortunately, my vet is dyslexic. 1.1744 0.05015 86 74 9 3
9590 All I ask. Can’t they make a cone for left handers 1.1744 0.04734 86 73 11 2
9591 Aero is everything. 1.1744 0.04436 86 72 13 1
9592 What do you think of my aerodog costume? 1.1744 0.04734 86 73 11 2
9593 I don’t care that I voted for him. I’m NOT doing this for 100 days! 1.1744 0.04436 86 72 13 1
9594 I love you bro, but I’m not licking your boo-boo. 1.1744 0.05015 86 74 9 3
9595 I consider myself an extrovert. 1.1744 0.04734 86 73 11 2
9596 turn that cone upside down 1.1744 0.05015 86 74 9 3
9597 This is the one time I am thankful my vet is dyslexic. 1.1744 0.04116 86 71 15 0
9598 I have body fleas 1.1744 0.04734 86 73 11 2
9599 My dad's dyslexic. 1.1744 0.04436 86 72 13 1
9600 Let me show you how to reverse the cone 1.1744 0.05015 86 74 9 3
9601 My back is as bad as my bite. 1.1744 0.04436 86 72 13 1
9602 I guess you could say I was "hot around the collar"! 1.1744 0.05015 86 74 9 3
9603 It's all about your outlook. 1.1744 0.05015 86 74 9 3
9604 Arf, arf. 1.1744 0.05281 86 75 7 4
9605 ‘I see you’re the proud owner of the new cone of pride’ 1.1744 0.04734 86 73 11 2
9606 'you're wearing your lampshade the wrong way again' 1.1744 0.05015 86 74 9 3
9607 this can’t be a cone-sequence 1.1744 0.04436 86 72 13 1
9608 If you give me some of your kibble, I'll tell you how I did it! 1.1744 0.05015 86 74 9 3
9609 Geez, what a conehead! 1.1744 0.04436 86 72 13 1
9610 My human wears their mask on their chin so it's only fair 1.1739 0.04596 69 57 12 0
9611 I'll show you mine if you show me yours! 1.1739 0.04791 92 79 10 3
9612 Hello, my name is "Of Fido." 1.1739 0.05039 69 58 10 1
9613 It's a beta test. But don't get me wrong -- I'm always an alpha dog. 1.1739 0.05039 69 58 10 1
9614 I'll lick your sutures if you'll lick mine- 1.1739 0.05824 69 60 6 3
9615 Trust me, this way is a lot more comfortable. 1.1739 0.04791 92 79 10 3
9616 Mine is stop me from backbiting. How about yours? 1.1739 0.05039 69 58 10 1
9617 Your so brave, I could never pull that off 1.1739 0.05445 69 59 8 2
9618 Yes sir, no fleas on this head. 1.1739 0.04535 92 78 12 2
9619 Oh please. Just because it works for Janet Yellen doesn’t mean it works for you. 1.1739 0.05039 69 58 10 1
9620 Hi! I'm Ying. Are you Yan? 1.1739 0.05039 69 58 10 1
9621 It depends on how you approach the light. 1.1739 0.04596 69 57 12 0
9622 I might as well confess: I have syphillis. 1.1739 0.04535 92 78 12 2
9623 I know, that''s what I was hoping, but then the wind died down. 1.1739 0.04535 92 78 12 2
9624 There's literally nothing I can't lick!" Brian Shotland, Quincy, Ma 1.1739 0.05039 69 58 10 1
9625 Get your head out, man. 1.1739 0.05824 69 60 6 3
9626 Apparently this is more fashion forward. 1.1739 0.03973 92 76 16 0
9627 Hope you don’t mind a good Dad joke but I see you and just think ‘ruff’ 1.1739 0.05445 69 59 8 2
9628 Help me pop my collar, too, Brent. 1.1739 0.04263 92 77 14 1
9629 Best In Show: New Dogumentary Casts Light on Throwing Shade. 1.1739 0.04791 92 79 10 3
9630 You really think that collar will get you a bone? 1.1739 0.04263 92 77 14 1
9631 I wanted it to match my lipstick 1.1739 0.03973 92 76 16 0
9632 I wore it this way so I can still lick your face!” 😍🥰 (It’s nearly St Valentine’s Day after all! 1.1739 0.04263 92 77 14 1
9633 yeah, well, but who decides what counts as 'fact' anyway? 1.1739 0.04263 92 77 14 1
9634 My owner says this is the alternative way to wear the cone, it’s not a falsehood 1.1739 0.05445 69 59 8 2
9635 My dear fellow, haven't you heard? It's the Eustace Tilley look this season. 1.1739 0.04263 92 77 14 1
9636 the cone goes OVER the nose, dude 1.1739 0.05039 69 58 10 1
9637 What would you expect; my owner’s name is Jared! 1.1735 0.04358 98 83 13 2
9638 I saw Bill Clinton wearing his this way 1.1735 0.04593 98 84 11 3
9639 Human said the nice lady at the vet was fired because of me but it’s NOT FUNNY because these are tough times for everyone and we need to show compassion. I don’t know that word, but you look ridiculous. 1.1735 0.04593 98 84 11 3
9640 Can you believe Ted Kaczynski gets out of prison this year? 1.1733 0.04792 75 63 11 1
9641 You've got your collar on backwards, it is far more stylish this way. 1.1733 0.04792 75 63 11 1
9642 My doctor says it’s important that I remain aerodynamically proper . 1.1733 0.04792 75 63 11 1
9643 Contest 742. These are your top 3 picks?!! They’re not funny and make no sense...I’m not submitting another thing...actually not being arrogant but mine WAS F A R better. Fuck u. 1.1733 0.05155 75 64 9 2
9644 You’re going the wrong way. 1.1733 0.04792 75 63 11 1
9645 It’s the new cone of SHAME.... 1.1733 0.04792 75 63 11 1
9646 Do you get a signal in there? 1.1733 0.05155 75 64 9 2
9647 Can an "inny" mate with an "outty"? 1.1733 0.04792 75 63 11 1
9648 It's called "innovation," dear. 1.1733 0.04400 75 62 13 0
9649 It is better than wearing those damn masks like people are doing all the time. 1.1733 0.05155 75 64 9 2
9650 Wow, I didn't know you became a nun! Bless you! 1.1733 0.04792 75 63 11 1
9651 This is how you wear it next week 1.1733 0.04792 75 63 11 1
9652 You be the Puritans and I’ll be the Cavaliers. 1.1733 0.04400 75 62 13 0
9653 You’re just being “glass half-empty” and I’m being “glass half-full" 1.1733 0.05812 75 66 5 4
9654 What do you think of my "Super Hero" body shield? 1.1733 0.05493 75 65 7 3
9655 It's fashion; wear it right! 1.1733 0.04792 75 63 11 1
9656 well, now are you going to like backwards? 1.1733 0.05155 75 64 9 2
9657 Something tells me that you have forgotten the ins and outs of this business... 1.1733 0.05493 75 65 7 3
9658 Contemporary lighting design has taken a strange turn. 1.1733 0.04400 75 62 13 0
9659 I’m trying something. 1.1733 0.04792 75 63 11 1
9660 There are many reasons they call it a 'ruff'... 1.1733 0.05155 75 64 9 2
9661 At least it's Aerodynamic. 1.1733 0.04400 75 62 13 0
9662 If you wear your lampshade incorrectly it defeats the purpose. 1.1733 0.05812 75 66 5 4
9663 Please don't get me in trouble for hanging out with you. I'm a good boy but you're wearing that wrong. 1.1733 0.05155 75 64 9 2
9664 Well Mike, it's simple. This way there's no echo. 1.1731 0.05297 52 43 9 0
9665 I wouldn’t believe it if I wasn’t there: my *dick* had started chewing on my *face*! 1.1728 0.04578 81 68 12 1
9666 Stop copying me.” “Stop copying me!” “STOP COPYING ME!” “STOP!!!! COPYING!!!!! ME!!!!!!!! 1.1728 0.04578 81 68 12 1
9667 My darling,I always knew we had a special connection. 1.1728 0.04578 81 68 12 1
9668 Your dog cone looks okay, but my 'cone de chien' is pure Gucci! 1.1728 0.04903 81 69 10 2
9669 I got the idea from the latest issue of goop. 1.1728 0.04578 81 68 12 1
9670 I really think it’s time for you to move on from Baroque fashions, Dug. 1.1728 0.05209 81 70 8 3
9671 See Butch; This is Streamlined! 1.1728 0.04903 81 69 10 2
9672 You are so 2020! 1.1728 0.04903 81 69 10 2
9673 Don't hate the player, hate the game. 1.1728 0.05209 81 70 8 3
9674 I don't know if I'm coming or going. 1.1728 0.04578 81 68 12 1
9675 ...yeah but only when I try to go backwards through the doggie-door. 1.1728 0.04903 81 69 10 2
9676 It's clear you're a Pfizer and I'm a Moderna but we can still be friends. 1.1728 0.04578 81 68 12 1
9677 My penis keeps biting me! 1.1728 0.04578 81 68 12 1
9678 The vet planted a bomb in my abdomen! Run! 1.1728 0.04578 81 68 12 1
9679 I had to do something... the other dogs were laughing at me 1.1728 0.04578 81 68 12 1
9680 It's more about finessing your body into the right position rather than forcing it. 1.1728 0.04227 81 67 14 0
9681 Forget the lamps. Let’s go get some sympathy. 1.1728 0.04578 81 68 12 1
9682 This looks like it should work... 1.1728 0.04578 81 68 12 1
9683 When you raise a leg to a standing lamp, don't back into it. 1.1728 0.04903 81 69 10 2
9684 My vet is dyslexic, but the treats are to die for. 1.1728 0.04903 81 69 10 2
9685 It's a new fashion statement on the Upper East Side. 1.1728 0.04578 81 68 12 1
9686 The American Veterinarian Medical Association is always changing the rules about wearing these things and its not like they even protect you from fleas. 1.1728 0.04903 81 69 10 2
9687 It’s like a cone, man. 1.1728 0.04578 81 68 12 1
9688 Greg, try not to worry. Think of yourself as the life of the party! 1.1728 0.04578 81 68 12 1
9689 That’s one way to wear it 1.1728 0.04578 81 68 12 1
9690 You don’t have to wear your shame like that. 1.1728 0.05209 81 70 8 3
9691 I'm going for more of a Victorian look. 1.1728 0.04227 81 67 14 0
9692 Were you going for lampshade or lion’s mane? 1.1728 0.04578 81 68 12 1
9693 I like to do it human style 1.1728 0.05209 81 70 8 3
9694 All the information the feds get from my collar is my bowel movement schedule. 1.1728 0.04903 81 69 10 2
9695 Precautions, are you kidding? We’re all white elephants here. 1.1728 0.05497 81 71 6 4
9696 Backwards is the latest cool. 1.1724 0.04389 87 73 13 1
9697 Thank goodness,that my owner is not mechanically inclined! 1.1724 0.03731 87 73 14 0
9698 Oh, your way is much better. 1.1724 0.04684 87 74 11 2
9699 Only a real OG would wear it that way. 1.1724 0.04684 87 74 11 2
9700 Mine is for fashion. 1.1724 0.04684 87 74 11 2
9701 Let's not even think about copulating. 1.1724 0.04684 87 74 11 2
9702 And, besides, it's aerodynamic. 1.1724 0.04389 87 73 13 1
9703 I think you should extend the voting time for your submissions. With the postal system overloaded,I don't know anyone who's getting the new yorker in time to submit their captions. 1.1724 0.05473 87 77 5 5
9704 I take a broader view of the world. But that’s why opposites attract. 1.1724 0.04684 87 74 11 2
9705 Yeah I know, but my human is dyslexic. At least I can still chase a ball. 1.1724 0.04961 87 75 9 3
9706 Care to try the 51st Lampshade of Gray? 1.1724 0.04389 87 73 13 1
9707 I've become a little sloppy during the pandemic. 1.1724 0.04389 87 73 13 1
9708 I really have to get this thing turned around by the end of the day! 1.1724 0.04389 87 73 13 1
9709 I don't bump into things. Ergo,no headaches. 1.1724 0.04389 87 73 13 1
9710 So if you were a light bulb,you'd be be looking down all night but if I was a light bulb... 1.1724 0.04684 87 74 11 2
9711 Dude, just do it! Chicks don't like Bits in your chest hair! 1.1724 0.04684 87 74 11 2
9712 But you know Backwards Day is in January, right? 1.1724 0.04389 87 73 13 1
9713 I'm doing it wrong!? 1.1724 0.04684 87 74 11 2
9714 My vet thinks that my health problems stem from a lack of body-confidence. 1.1724 0.04684 87 74 11 2
9715 you have to do the oriental rug butt slither and just hope you don't get caught! 1.1724 0.04961 87 75 9 3
9716 Pop your collar 1.1724 0.04961 87 75 9 3
9717 You see, it’s my opinion that the cone should be worn this way 1.1724 0.04389 87 73 13 1
9718 It’s my valentine present to you! 1.1724 0.04961 87 75 9 3
9719 See you on the other side! 1.1724 0.04961 87 75 9 3
9720 How did I do it? I just used their remote control's rewind button. 1.1724 0.04389 87 73 13 1
9721 Nothing like chocolate and vanilla 1.1720 0.04221 93 78 14 1
9722 Of course we're different, but really the same. 1.1720 0.04221 93 78 14 1
9723 This way we can still eat each other. 1.1720 0.04490 93 79 12 2
9724 Fancy meeting you here. 1.1720 0.04983 93 81 8 4
9725 Mine is for style....yours is for being whiney! 1.1720 0.04221 93 78 14 1
9726 Bottons up! 1.1720 0.04221 93 78 14 1
9727 Forgive me, father. 1.1720 0.04743 93 80 10 3
9728 Just another Tuesday, aye, Rex? 1.1720 0.03935 93 77 16 0
9729 Anxiety, but make it fashion. 1.1720 0.04221 93 78 14 1
9730 maybe it will still work if it doesn’t cover my mouth and nose 1.1720 0.04743 93 80 10 3
9731 Nice handmaid's costume 1.1720 0.04743 93 80 10 3
9732 Sir, please pull your cone above your nose. 1.1720 0.04221 93 78 14 1
9733 After graduation from Fordham for some reason I decided to become a Lutheran. 1.1719 0.05702 64 55 7 2
9734 Well, it’s lots easier to eat, pick up things, and, of course, sniff butts. 1.1719 0.05702 64 55 7 2
9735 I'm telling you. You've got to think outside of the box 1.1719 0.06122 64 56 5 3
9736 Something about vitamin D. 1.1719 0.05702 64 55 7 2
9737 I can’t breathe in this thing. 1.1719 0.05702 64 55 7 2
9738 So when exactly were the doctors supposed to start hating you for this weight loss secret? 1.1719 0.05702 64 55 7 2
9739 Yeah, so I was born breech... 1.1719 0.05249 64 54 9 1
9740 My vet is more interested in complete wellness: mind, body, and stole. 1.1717 0.04549 99 85 11 3
9741 You’re probably an anti-vaxxer too 1.1717 0.04317 99 84 13 2
9742 We are different. 1.1717 0.04317 99 84 13 2
9743 Seriously?! That is so yesterday! 1.1714 0.04973 70 59 10 1
9744 Now we know about yin and yang 1.1714 0.04973 70 59 10 1
9745 Turn your life around. 1.1714 0.04973 70 59 10 1
9746 My family are glass-half-full kinda people. 1.1714 0.04973 70 59 10 1
9747 It really is the latest canine fashion! 1.1714 0.04537 70 58 12 0
9748 I'm into aerodynamics... 1.1714 0.04537 70 58 12 0
9749 I know. Who woulda thought, right?! It's a fashion choice! 1.1714 0.04537 70 58 12 0
9750 All that matters is I can't lick the sutures on my scrotum. 1.1714 0.05373 70 60 8 2
9751 Oh! There you are! 1.1714 0.04973 70 59 10 1
9752 That collar really ages you. 1.1714 0.04973 70 59 10 1
9753 We're lucky to be white-collar criminals. 1.1714 0.05745 70 61 6 3
9754 It caled wind resistence. 1.1714 0.04973 70 59 10 1
9755 No. It goes over your nose and mouth. 1.1714 0.04973 70 59 10 1
9756 I'm just saying... your's is the cone of shame. mine is more of a pancho 1.1714 0.04973 70 59 10 1
9757 In Paris everyone’s wearing them this way. 1.1714 0.05373 70 60 8 2
9758 It's for mild weather and called Cruz Control. 1.1714 0.05745 70 61 6 3
9759 Catch you on the flip side! 1.1714 0.04973 70 59 10 1
9760 In the dark,they thought my butt was the head and I had a really long neck. 1.1714 0.04973 70 59 10 1
9761 Well, my friend, it's seems my impeachment it wasn't too bad… 1.1714 0.04973 70 59 10 1
9762 Come to find out, my vet's dyslexic 1.1714 0.04973 70 59 10 1
9763 Self control, but make it fashion. 1.1714 0.04537 70 58 12 0
9764 I’m already vaccinated. I just carry this around to be a very good boy. 1.1714 0.05373 70 60 8 2
9765 I see someone took a non essential car ride ... 1.1714 0.05373 70 60 8 2
9766 It’s not there to protect you Bingo. This a conspiracy! 1.1714 0.04973 70 59 10 1
9767 Foow-foow. 1.1711 0.05739 76 67 5 4
9768 Not only are you not wearing 2 cones, but you haven't figured out how to wear the first one correctly. 1.1711 0.05739 76 67 5 4
9769 Aerodynamics, bro. Ever heard of it? 1.1711 0.05091 76 65 9 2
9770 Well, sure looks like someone isn't keepinig up on current news. Don't you know they are saying you can even drown wearing it that way. 1.1711 0.05091 76 65 9 2
9771 They say opposites attract. 1.1711 0.04734 76 64 11 1
9772 I know we have completely different ideologies...but I think we can both agree that we are Republicans. 1.1711 0.05091 76 65 9 2
9773 Yeah but my Sirius reception is really lousy. 1.1711 0.05091 76 65 9 2
9774 Lucky for me that my owner is a blonde! 1.1711 0.05425 76 66 7 3
9775 So like I was saying Rex, the litigation moves forward next Monday... 1.1711 0.05425 76 66 7 3
9776 The off the shoulder look is so last year. 1.1711 0.05425 76 66 7 3
9777 Here's how I see it, cone of shame or accessory gain; its a matter of perspective 1.1711 0.04734 76 64 11 1
9778 Silly yes, but my screen time is cut in half. 1.1711 0.04348 76 63 13 0
9779 I'm afraid my vet didn't put it right! 1.1711 0.05425 76 66 7 3
9780 I thought putting one on this way might cancel them all out. 1.1711 0.04734 76 64 11 1
9781 It was easy. You put your left foot in, you take your right foot out. You put your back feet in and you shake it all about. You say "Hokey Pokey" and you turn yourself around. That's what it's all about! 1.1711 0.04734 76 64 11 1
9782 Yours has an echo. Mine reverbs. 1.1711 0.04734 76 64 11 1
9783 When these things come off, his thing comes off. 1.1711 0.05091 76 65 9 2
9784 Necking is a lot easier this way. 1.1711 0.05425 76 66 7 3
9785 It was the Robin William dilemma - "God gave man a brain and a penis and only enough blood to run one at a time.” I decided which I wanted to govern me. Obviously you chose differently. 1.1711 0.05425 76 66 7 3
9786 Oh, I thought it was a bib. 1.1711 0.05091 76 65 9 2
9787 You didn't go out in that wind yesterday? 1.1711 0.05091 76 65 9 2
9788 I don't see it as an illness, it's my super power. 1.1711 0.04348 76 63 13 0
9789 Ruff winds again Frank?” “You know how it is 1.1711 0.04734 76 64 11 1
9790 I decided to take matters into my own paws 1.1711 0.04734 76 64 11 1
9791 One too many cones dawg 1.1711 0.04734 76 64 11 1
9792 My owner put it on backwards. 1.1711 0.05425 76 66 7 3
9793 I’m an ESFP. 1.1707 0.05149 82 71 8 3
9794 It’s windy outside. 1.1707 0.04527 82 69 12 1
9795 I'm just glad it's not the other kind of 'wrong end' 1.1707 0.04848 82 70 10 2
9796 It's who you know. My human got a vaccination, and I got this. 1.1707 0.04848 82 70 10 2
9797 From cone of shame to LLBean foul weather gear model,just like that! 1.1707 0.04181 82 68 14 0
9798 Wait. I have an incredible idea. 1.1707 0.04848 82 70 10 2
9799 They didn't name me Ken Griffey Jr. for nothing. 1.1707 0.04181 82 68 14 0
9800 It's because you're not a fashionista. 1.1707 0.05149 82 71 8 3
9801 I 've had exactly zero squirrel issues. 1.1707 0.04527 82 69 12 1
9802 It's the latest thing for Spring. 1.1707 0.04848 82 70 10 2
9803 Buddy: So, how'd it go? Max: I feel like something's missing. 1.1707 0.04848 82 70 10 2
9804 As Bogie said, "I stick my neck out for nobody." 1.1707 0.04848 82 70 10 2
9805 You can still sniff my butt. 1.1707 0.05149 82 71 8 3
9806 I am cone-fused if I got this one right!?! 1.1707 0.04848 82 70 10 2
9807 Dang prevailing westerlies again. 1.1707 0.04527 82 69 12 1
9808 It's my punishment for violating the 'No tongues' rule in quarantine. 1.1707 0.05149 82 71 8 3
9809 British? That's great! Me, I'm from Pennsylvania. 1.1707 0.04181 82 68 14 0
9810 I call this "dog cone chic". 1.1707 0.05149 82 71 8 3
9811 Mine is handmade. I was there when my vet put it on me. 1.1707 0.04181 82 68 14 0
9812 We were driving from vet and I just stuck my head out of the window, and wee! I can still drink in the bathroom bowl again. 1.1707 0.05434 82 72 6 4
9813 Are you an innie? 1.1707 0.04527 82 69 12 1
9814 Easy. I just told them it was opposite day. 1.1707 0.05149 82 71 8 3
9815 Yeeees, but will yours pass the sniff test? 1.1707 0.04848 82 70 10 2
9816 Gen-Z says that look isn't cool anymore. 1.1707 0.04848 82 70 10 2
9817 To pee or not to pee, that is the question! 1.1707 0.04527 82 69 12 1
9818 It’s the new trend for the 2021 season - haven’t you noticed? 1.1707 0.04181 82 68 14 0
9819 Half-full or half-empty? 1.1707 0.04527 82 69 12 1
9820 Expert Schmexpert! My human and I have our rights to our own beliefs about what is healthy! 1.1707 0.04848 82 70 10 2
9821 That's a wardrobe malfunction, Bob! 1.1707 0.04527 82 69 12 1
9822 You’ll get through this. I did. 1.1707 0.05149 82 71 8 3
9823 The Handmaid’s Tail 1.1707 0.04848 82 70 10 2
9824 So. So. So much faster this way. 1.1707 0.04181 82 68 14 0
9825 slimming isn’t it? 1.1707 0.04527 82 69 12 1
9826 I saw the Kardashians wear it this way 1.1707 0.04527 82 69 12 1
9827 "Well, first, it's doing wonders for my self image. 1.1705 0.04031 88 73 15 0
9828 It's all about perspective my guy 1.1705 0.04343 88 74 13 1
9829 My secret? Pretend you're into the Elizabethan age. 1.1705 0.04343 88 74 13 1
9830 HA HA! You know I always hated my long neck... until now! 1.1705 0.04343 88 74 13 1
9831 I know you only have eyes for me, but I'm not ready for an exclusive relationship. 1.1705 0.04343 88 76 10 2
9832 Don't feel bad — at least your owners have your best interests at heart. 1.1705 0.04908 88 76 9 3
9833 I'd say I won't bite your butt for you, but since I'm a dog, whatever! 1.1705 0.04343 88 74 13 1
9834 Their so cute when they try to be inventive 1.1705 0.04031 88 73 15 0
9835 Hey, Baby! Can I kiss you somewhere else? 1.1705 0.04634 88 75 11 2
9836 ... you should try it too, my maskne is almost gone this way 1.1705 0.05167 88 77 7 4
9837 Are you pleased with the fashion forward look? 1.1705 0.04634 88 75 11 2
9838 What? I’m disrupting the norm... 1.1705 0.04031 88 73 15 0
9839 You just gotta go into the fourth dimension for a sec to turn it inside out. 1.1702 0.04696 94 81 10 3
9840 Either I just got lucky or your vet is a sadist!” Sue Scalettar, Nyack, NY 1.1702 0.04180 94 79 14 1
9841 No cone of shame it is a fun lampshade 1.1702 0.03897 94 78 16 0
9842 Not sure where they attach the leash. 1.1702 0.04180 94 79 14 1
9843 I see Phil Spector lives. 1.1702 0.04180 94 79 14 1
9844 If you lick mine I’ll lick yours 1.1702 0.04696 94 81 10 3
9845 See, now you’re not the only one. 1.1702 0.04446 94 80 12 2
9846 So I finally read Eat Pray Love 1.1702 0.03897 94 78 16 0
9847 The high drag coefficient ratio must really slow you down when you are chasing cars. 1.1695 0.05997 59 51 6 2
9848 It's not ideal, but you gotta make the most of it. 1.1695 0.04926 59 49 10 0
9849 Man, I guess I'm the only one with a bad life with a cone faced to the ground! 1.1692 0.04687 65 54 11 0
9850 It may be a new way to do it......let's try! 1.1692 0.03841 65 55 10 0
9851 It's for my role in the Thanksgiving skit. 1.1692 0.05174 65 55 9 1
9852 The vet's dyslexic. Also thinks I'm a god. 1.1692 0.04687 65 54 11 0
9853 Mine's a hedge fund guy, he doesn't know how it's supposed to work for the rest of us. 1.1692 0.04687 65 54 11 0
9854 So, wanna grab some kibble some time? 1.1692 0.05174 65 55 9 1
9855 That looks as effective as a mask on the chin 1.1692 0.05620 65 56 7 2
9856 You Trumpers have such a narrow view of the real world. 1.1690 0.05302 71 61 8 2
9857 First they wanted me house broken...then they had me fixed. 1.1690 0.04908 71 60 10 1
9858 My veterinarian's dyslexic. 1.1690 0.04908 71 60 10 1
9859 I’m an Australian sheep dog! 1.1690 0.04908 71 60 10 1
9860 What did you do -Bcak in? 1.1690 0.04479 71 59 12 0
9861 Dog fashion takes a turn for the worse in 2021 1.1690 0.04908 71 60 10 1
9862 '' I don't regret it, in fact I got a kick out of it.'' 1.1690 0.04908 71 60 10 1
9863 It's a sympathy lamp shade. Sorry for your loss. 1.1690 0.05302 71 61 8 2
9864 In Russia stitches chew you! 1.1690 0.04908 71 60 10 1
9865 Hey Bruno, look what I can do! 1.1690 0.05669 71 62 6 3
9866 You were great in The Handmaid's Tale! I just got cast in a remake of The Thorn Birds! 1.1690 0.04908 71 60 10 1
9867 You have the inverse; you forgot two negatives make a positive. 1.1690 0.04908 71 60 10 1
9868 I can still eat and drink ,can’t lick my wound ,and I don’t look so stupid! 1.1690 0.04479 71 59 12 0
9869 This is how they wear it in France. 1.1690 0.05302 71 61 8 2
9870 Ways to upcycle old lampshades,Idea #54. 1.1690 0.05302 71 61 8 2
9871 I figured, it works on umbrellas. 1.1690 0.04908 71 60 10 1
9872 Houston, we have a problem. 1.1690 0.05302 71 61 8 2
9873 It's my post settlement fashion statement 1.1690 0.04908 71 60 10 1
9874 You scratch my back and I'll scratch mine. 1.1690 0.04005 71 63 6 2
9875 No, got the stitches out last week. I'm going for the land speed record later this afternoon. 1.1690 0.04908 71 60 10 1
9876 yes, it still has it's limits 1.1690 0.04908 71 60 10 1
9877 I’ll send you the article I read that explained why it’s more effective this way. Apparently this was the original design. 1.1690 0.04908 71 60 10 1
9878 Why yes it is Balenciaga! 1.1690 0.04908 71 60 10 1
9879 You need to flip it around. It feels much better when you wear it this way, and it is easier to reach your wound. 1.1688 0.05359 77 67 7 3
9880 It's easier to get airborne this way. 1.1688 0.05030 77 66 9 2
9881 Don't want to be fully covered? Do what I did, just tell 'em you've been given an "exemption"... 1.1688 0.04297 77 64 13 0
9882 Outies are just way easier to keep clean than Innies, but I agree, they are less appealing at the beach. 1.1688 0.05359 77 67 7 3
9883 No, I didn't have surgery. I hate that you always lick my neck. Wish you would smell my butt like the other guys do. 1.1688 0.04678 77 65 11 1
9884 The physics works! I can get to the delivery person twice as fast by wearing it this way. 1.1688 0.05030 77 66 9 2
9885 You’ll see it through. 1.1688 0.04678 77 65 11 1
9886 Time to out yourself, Teddy! 1.1688 0.04678 77 65 11 1
9887 Life will turn around- you'll see 1.1688 0.04678 77 65 11 1
9888 Poison Ivy...and worms. You? 1.1688 0.05359 77 67 7 3
9889 My owners have something against my licking my own butt! 1.1688 0.04297 77 64 13 0
9890 I convinced them that I'm all bark and no bite. 1.1688 0.04678 77 65 11 1
9891 You know,I don’t know if this is a coincidence or not... 1.1688 0.04297 77 64 13 0
9892 My owner's a psychologist. He calls it reversed psychology. 1.1688 0.04491 77 67 8 2
9893 I still can't reach my butt even though it's backwards. 1.1688 0.05359 77 67 7 3
9894 I’m having a Ruff day . 1.1688 0.05030 77 66 9 2
9895 It really helps with the echo chamber effect. 1.1688 0.04678 77 65 11 1
9896 HMOs are for the dogs. You need to beg for a concierge plan with different coverage. 1.1688 0.05359 77 67 7 3
9897 Some say catwalk, I say walkies. 1.1688 0.05030 77 66 9 2
9898 I have had blinders on for the past furs years and I am not going to let that happen again..... 1.1688 0.04678 77 65 11 1
9899 Unless you REALLY like bugs, I'd keep the window rolled down. 1.1688 0.04297 77 64 13 0
9900 It's the latest style from Paris! 1.1688 0.05030 77 66 9 2
9901 Oh, Fifi, you are always so outre’ 1.1688 0.05030 77 66 9 2
9902 My owners are into minimalis 1.1688 0.05030 77 66 9 2
9903 Does wearing it this way not make my butt look fat? 1.1688 0.04678 77 65 11 1
9904 One of us has it on inside out 1.1688 0.04297 77 64 13 0
9905 Don't look at me like that... Just came back from the fashion show and decided to create my own style 1.1688 0.05030 77 66 9 2
9906 I just came from the vet” “me from the hairdresser 1.1688 0.04678 77 65 11 1
9907 You’re such a Karen 1.1688 0.04678 77 65 11 1
9908 Under his bite 1.1688 0.04678 77 65 11 1
9909 They call me the Celine Dion of canines 1.1688 0.05030 77 66 9 2
9910 It worked! I ran as fast as I could against the wind and it worked! You should try it, Georgie! 1.1688 0.04678 77 65 11 1
9911 It’s to keep my stitches from biting me 1.1688 0.05030 77 66 9 2
9912 Looks like someone learned about the economy! 1.1688 0.04678 77 65 11 1
9913 To err is human, to forgive canine. 1.1687 0.04476 83 70 12 1
9914 Dog meets dog named Otto with a dyslexic owner. 1.1687 0.05091 83 72 8 3
9915 That’s some cough you have there.” 1.1687 0.04476 83 70 12 1
9916 MY humans prefer reverse psychology! 1.1687 0.04476 83 70 12 1
9917 I demand the cone of silence! 1.1687 0.05091 83 72 8 3
9918 Yeah, Spike. This year’s model is really sleek. But the best part is the intuitive sniffing app. 1.1687 0.04476 83 70 12 1
9919 It's the Nefertiti model. 1.1687 0.04135 83 69 14 0
9920 It's more stylish this way 1.1687 0.04793 83 71 10 2
9921 Mine's a modified repurposed light shade. How about yours? 1.1687 0.05091 83 72 8 3
9922 Do I need a modelling agent to particpate? I'm ready to make my fashion statement.Where is the doggie runway? 1.1687 0.04476 83 70 12 1
9923 Did anyone tell you your top is inside out? 1.1687 0.05091 83 72 8 3
9924 You're one step closer to being a superhero! 1.1687 0.04476 83 70 12 1
9925 Now that was a party, a big dog party! 1.1687 0.04793 83 71 10 2
9926 I was chasing it, must have been 100 miles per hour, the shield flipped, wow, got faster that way. 1.1687 0.05091 83 72 8 3
9927 Don't worry about it. I sometimes put on my holiday sweater inside out AND backwards. 1.1687 0.05091 83 72 8 3
9928 What dogs refer to as an inny and an outty 1.1687 0.04793 83 71 10 2
9929 Wow, that wind coming from the North was strong! 1.1687 0.04476 83 70 12 1
9930 Put your thing down flip it and reverse it. 1.1687 0.04793 83 71 10 2
9931 What do you mean the cone is supposed to go over my nose? 1.1687 0.04135 83 69 14 0
9932 I tried it the other way, but I just couldn’t get my head behind my leg 1.1687 0.04135 83 69 14 0
9933 Hey, inny! What's up, outy? 1.1685 0.04299 89 75 13 1
9934 You are a perfect match! 1.1685 0.04299 89 75 13 1
9935 I presume you pronounce it po-tay-to. 1.1685 0.05113 89 78 7 4
9936 My stylist says this is much more slimming. 1.1685 0.04586 89 76 11 2
9937 You just got to break on through to the other side. 1.1685 0.03991 89 74 15 0
9938 This is the going to become the new normal. 1.1685 0.04586 89 76 11 2
9939 It's because you're the speaker of the house 1.1685 0.03991 89 74 15 0
9940 Even though the Vet has squeezed your anal glands- you have to maintain some dignity by asserting yourself. 1.1685 0.04586 89 76 11 2
9941 Excuse me, your collar's on backwards. 1.1685 0.04586 89 76 11 2
9942 This is the only variant I’m catching. 1.1685 0.04586 89 76 11 2
9943 Injured? No, this is just my emotional support cone! 1.1685 0.04586 89 76 11 2
9944 Maybe you could be the Yin to my Yang 1.1685 0.04299 89 75 13 1
9945 Well, this could either be awkward or awesome... 1.1685 0.04586 89 76 11 2
9946 It’s called a rally cone - for when I need to catch up on licking myself 1.1685 0.04299 89 75 13 1
9947 I’ve always been insecure about my outie 1.1685 0.04299 89 75 13 1
9948 I see we've put on weight since last time. 1.1684 0.04402 95 81 12 2
9949 In the end he had to admit she was right. He really did need a hearing aid. 1.1684 0.04650 95 82 10 3
9950 I seem to have the advantage. 1.1684 0.04140 95 80 14 1
9951 Where’s the bite behind your bark? 1.1684 0.04402 95 81 12 2
9952 My Vet is Dr. Corrigan 1.1684 0.03860 95 79 16 0
9953 My culture is not your prom dress. 1.1684 0.04402 95 81 12 2
9954 This way I can still go down on her. 1.1684 0.05109 95 84 6 5
9955 Gary’s long-held suspicion that he was the extrovert of the litter was finally confirmed. 1.1684 0.04402 95 81 12 2
9956 Dude, how do you expect to hit influencer status if you don’t take any risks with your fashion? 1.1683 0.03997 101 85 15 1
9957 I realized I was in an echo chamber. 1.1682 0.04500 107 93 10 4
9958 While I lost my boys, I kept my dognity. 1.1667 0.05233 72 62 8 2
9959 I know a jeweler who could resize that for you. 1.1667 0.05294 78 68 7 3
9960 Don't be so doom and gloom about it Barfy. Have you seen how the Handmaids wear theirs? 1.1667 0.04427 84 71 12 1
9961 It's ready to flip up if I ever have surgery. 1.1667 0.04623 78 66 11 1
9962 Aerodynamic cone collars are recommended for joggers. 1.1667 0.04623 78 66 11 1
9963 Ooh, ruff! Elizabethan ruff! I love it! 1.1667 0.04255 90 76 13 1
9964 My owner takes the freeway a lot. 1.1667 0.04806 90 78 9 3
9965 I'm trying to get into the Met Ball. 1.1667 0.04845 72 61 10 1
9966 you wear the cone of shame while i where the cone of fame. my fleas are so classy they only drink aged ab negative. 1.1667 0.05403 60 51 8 1
9967 S up, Dawg 1.1667 0.04740 84 72 10 2
9968 The trick is to get your own veterinary license. 1.1667 0.04970 78 67 9 2
9969 Yeah - my owner thinks I have self-esteem. 1.1667 0.04623 78 66 11 1
9970 It's much easier to do my daily 10 hard scratches under the chin with this one. 1.1667 0.04423 72 60 12 0
9971 They say I'm a top dog! 1.1667 0.04623 78 66 11 1
9972 When life gives you lemons make fashion out of them 1.1667 0.04427 84 71 12 1
9973 Yours might be on backwards, but at least it’s better for catching kibble bits! 1.1667 0.04247 78 65 13 0
9974 You wearing it wrong, it’s not @ satellite dish! 1.1667 0.04845 72 61 10 1
9975 I heard it's en vogue to wear my collar upside down. You catch more peanuts! 1.1667 0.05233 72 62 8 2
9976 This is how is worn for Spring/Summer 2021 1.1667 0.04845 72 61 10 1
9977 I can't believe what they've done to our traditions. 1.1667 0.04970 78 67 9 2
9978 It's from my winter wear collection, snow and cold protection and scratch-resistant. 1.1667 0.04740 84 72 10 2
9979 All the dogs on my Instagram are wearing it like this. 1.1667 0.05102 66 56 9 1
9980 Is this what mommy means when she says that boys have an "outy" and girls have an "inny"? 1.1667 0.04247 78 65 13 0
9981 My cone started on my butt, then worked its way forward. 1.1667 0.04427 84 71 12 1
9982 Dad, no one buys such subwoofers anymore. 1.1667 0.04623 78 66 11 1
9983 And they think this is birth control 1.1667 0.05034 84 73 8 3
9984 Tony says you gotta unleash the power within. 1.1667 0.04740 84 72 10 2
9985 I never should have gone for that ride! 1.1667 0.05903 60 52 6 2
9986 No, it's easy. Turn your head a quarter turn to the right and then pull your head quickly through the device. 1.1667 0.05102 66 56 9 1
9987 Ew! Butt sniffing takes on an entirely new meaning. 1.1667 0.04623 78 66 11 1
9988 I fancy the Edwardian collar. 1.1667 0.04623 78 66 11 1
9989 I will if you will. 1.1667 0.05294 78 68 7 3
9990 It's the new thing. The Collar of Shame. 1.1667 0.04970 78 67 9 2
9991 I was wearing that way too, for a while. But it made it way too hard to lick my butt! 1.1667 0.04539 90 77 11 2
9992 In this innie/outie confused world, if I were you, I would vote absinthe. 1.1667 0.05540 66 57 7 2
9993 Sore shoulder. You? 1.1667 0.05102 66 56 9 1
9994 And you thought the multiverse was just a theory. 1.1667 0.04623 78 66 11 1
9995 Under where? 1.1667 0.04247 78 65 13 0
9996 I’m entitled to my own opinion! 1.1667 0.04845 72 61 10 1
9997 Yours is on backwards! 1.1667 0.04845 72 61 10 1
9998 My owner rolls up her uniform skirt when the teacher isn't looking. A little rebellion never hurt nobody! 1.1667 0.04845 72 61 10 1
9999 Yeah, they actually said Jewish space lasers 1.1667 0.04091 84 70 14 0
10000 I get chills up my spine when there's an echo. 1.1667 0.05102 66 56 9 1
10001 My owner is anti-vaccinations. 1.1667 0.05233 72 62 8 2
10002 Any clue how to use a claw cracker? 1.1667 0.04423 72 60 12 0
10003 I have a dandruff problem. 1.1667 0.04845 72 61 10 1
10004 Upturned collars are so last season. 1.1667 0.05059 90 79 7 4
10005 I'm strongly opposed to social distance. 1.1667 0.04427 84 71 12 1
10006 I convinced the vet that I still couldn’t reach my genitalia and still scratch my nose. 1.1667 0.04423 72 60 12 0
10007 No Fred! As per the Civil Rights Act of 1775, I have the right to lick my butt. 1.1667 0.04740 84 72 10 2
10008 I like to think outside of the barks. 1.1667 0.04604 96 83 10 3
10009 You’re wearing your cone wrong Charlie. It’s supposed to cover your mouth and nose. 1.1667 0.04740 84 72 10 2
10010 It's not a party until somebody puts on a lamp shade. 1.1667 0.05595 72 63 6 3
10011 I was trying to make a statement. 1.1667 0.05540 66 57 7 2
10012 Wanna see a wind tunnel? 1.1667 0.04539 90 77 11 2
10013 They are putting them back on. 1.1667 0.04255 90 76 13 1
10014 Dawg, your collar is so 2020! 1.1667 0.04623 78 66 11 1
10015 I'm doing Moderna only one more to go. 1.1667 0.04806 90 78 9 3
10016 It has the same effect, plus it's more streamlined 1.1667 0.05233 72 62 8 2
10017 Hey man, I'll have my parental call your parental with the instructions! 1.1667 0.05102 66 56 9 1
10018 Gee bud, sorry to hear that. I’m not having any trouble getting food down at all! 1.1667 0.04623 78 66 11 1
10019 Mine is yours reverse engineered in China! 1.1667 0.04623 78 66 11 1
10020 Covid confused canines 1.1667 0.05233 72 62 8 2
10021 It's all a matter of perspective... 1.1667 0.04970 78 67 9 2
10022 You know, there's *definitely* a circumcision joke here. 1.1667 0.04100 96 81 14 1
10023 Doggie yin and yang..... 1.1667 0.04740 84 72 10 2
10024 Welcome to Conical Island." 1.1667 0.04423 72 60 12 0
10025 Skydiving has really opened up my chakra! 1.1667 0.04539 90 77 11 2
10026 Change your point of view, change your life. Plus, I can still chew on anything. 1.1667 0.05233 72 62 8 2
10027 Hey man, you should look at things as if the glass is half full, not half empty. 1.1667 0.04623 78 66 11 1
10028 I'm being hailed as a revolutionary. 1.1667 0.04623 78 66 11 1
10029 This looks better when I zoom- it elongates my face. 1.1667 0.06339 54 47 5 2
10030 In a parallel universe, somewhere in space, our cones are reversed. 1.1667 0.04247 78 65 13 0
10031 They'll get you . . .coming or going . . . 1.1667 0.04423 72 60 12 0
10032 This way, my butt won't lick my face... 1.1667 0.04740 84 72 10 2
10033 He said, She said. 1.1667 0.05294 78 68 7 3
10034 Why does gen Z have to reinvent everything 1.1667 0.05233 72 62 8 2
10035 It’s a new trustee program. 1.1667 0.04970 78 67 9 2
10036 If you want to be a trumpster then act like one !! 1.1667 0.04970 78 67 9 2
10037 So glad my pop's an anti-masker. Neener, neener. 1.1667 0.04539 90 77 11 2
10038 I had both my shots. Guess you only had one. 1.1667 0.05761 54 46 7 1
10039 My people are lefties. 1.1667 0.05294 78 68 7 3
10040 - I think you’re wearing it wrong. - You don’t understand, it’s fashion! 1.1667 0.05595 72 63 6 3
10041 Hey you must be “I” , I am definitely “E”. But let’s sniff butts anyway, ok? 1.1667 0.04427 84 71 12 1
10042 After my graduation from seminary, and switching to a fish oil diet, it was such a win-win, I mean why not? 1.1667 0.04623 78 66 11 1
10043 who did that to you? 1.1667 0.05233 72 62 8 2
10044 Mines a cone of approval - Madelene's been reading a lot of Norman Vincent Peale during the pandemic 1.1667 0.04539 90 77 11 2
10045 You sound like an idiot. 1.1667 0.05946 66 58 5 3
10046 The I-collar 12 is really a great step forward. 1.1667 0.04247 78 65 13 0
10047 I can't disclose the details. Don't you know about HIPPA? 1.1667 0.04623 78 66 11 1
10048 Society said I should be ashamed of myself,so I flipped the script. 1.1667 0.05294 78 68 7 3
10049 Blessed be the fruit.” May the Lord open. 1.1667 0.05903 60 52 6 2
10050 My doctor said not to scratch my cone,so I did 1.1667 0.04255 90 76 13 1
10051 This pandemic has really made me flip my lid... 1.1667 0.04740 84 72 10 2
10052 You know, this is Mars’ normal. 1.1667 0.04427 84 71 12 1
10053 I caught a lot of air chasing that squirrel. “ 1.1667 0.04255 90 76 13 1
10054 Nonconformity is how new fashion trends start. 1.1667 0.04845 72 61 10 1
10055 Wearing a cone like that is so 2020 1.1667 0.05233 72 62 8 2
10056 Now I see what I want to see. 1.1667 0.04427 84 71 12 1
10057 this version is much less effective, but it looks better, so I don't mind wearing it 1.1667 0.04970 78 67 9 2
10058 They may take away my right to choose my vet, but they’ll never take my freedom 1.1667 0.04623 66 55 11 0
10059 You're definitely in the wrong place 1.1667 0.04255 90 76 13 1
10060 Wearing a mask is not a political statement Doug, we are saving lives. 1.1667 0.04740 84 72 10 2
10061 Yea, mom was a little distracted this morning. She’s doing her best, you know? At least I can’t lick my shoulders. 1.1667 0.05233 72 62 8 2
10062 It makes me more aerodynamic when I fight 1.1667 0.04623 78 66 11 1
10063 Come on, Steve live a little! 1.1667 0.04740 84 72 10 2
10064 ‘You should definitely try seeing Dr. Goldberg...’ 1.1667 0.05294 78 68 7 3
10065 No, it’s actually my doggie tutu that shimmied up a bit throughout the day but...it’s kind of fun, right?! 1.1667 0.04970 78 67 9 2
10066 I just think the popped collar has run its course 1.1667 0.05034 84 73 8 3
10067 I read it’s all the rage in Paris. Coco Chanel’s dog said so. 1.1667 0.04427 84 71 12 1
10068 He might be a fringe veterinarian, but the results speak for themselves. 1.1667 0.05540 66 57 7 2
10069 You must be a millennial. We’re no longer wearing cones like that. 1.1667 0.05233 72 62 8 2
10070 I like the 80s retro thing you have going there 1.1667 0.04740 84 72 10 2
10071 Just in case no one told you my dear friend your collar is inverted (and sooo old fashion) 1.1667 0.04740 84 72 10 2
10072 Praise Be” my ass 1.1667 0.04423 72 60 12 0
10073 To hell with safety one should look cool in the peer group 1.1667 0.04623 78 66 11 1
10074 It’s so my butt won’t gnaw at me 1.1667 0.05595 72 63 6 3
10075 C’mon. Now you do me. 1.1667 0.05233 72 62 8 2
10076 The wind is wicked out there. 1.1667 0.05233 72 62 8 2
10077 I’m more aerodynamic for zoomies this way 1.1667 0.04199 102 87 13 2
10078 I’m fine, it’s an accessory. It’s all the rage in Paris. 1.1667 0.05233 72 62 8 2
10079 What? It makes me more streamlined. 1.1667 0.04970 78 67 9 2
10080 I think the it’s supposed to cover your nose. 1.1667 0.04604 96 83 10 3
10081 I’m in a tunnel, can’t hear you! 1.1667 0.04623 78 66 11 1
10082 2020 vs 2021 1.1667 0.04845 72 61 10 1
10083 It’s obvious my flatulence free flow FUNnel is a lot more effective than your halitosis HELLno halo. 1.1650 0.04384 103 89 11 3
10084 So now when they chase me I just run downwind. No more baths. 1.1649 0.04318 97 83 12 2
10085 Sometimes you just need to mix it up! 1.1648 0.03911 91 76 15 0
10086 I’m going for the gangsta look... dawg 1.1648 0.04492 91 78 11 2
10087 My wife dressed me today 1.1648 0.04492 91 78 11 2
10088 ‘Jake, you’re looking a little thin. Turn it inside out. I said turn it around. Jake, can you hear me?’ 1.1648 0.04492 91 78 11 2
10089 You have nothing to be ashamed of--I only just found out that today is backwards day. 1.1648 0.04212 91 77 13 1
10090 For some reason, He’s got a problem with me kneeling! 1.1648 0.04756 91 79 9 3
10091 My pronouns are it, stop and get off me. 1.1648 0.05006 91 80 7 4
10092 Mine is a fashion choice 1.1648 0.03911 91 76 15 0
10093 Well,there are innies and outies,and you drew the short straw. 1.1648 0.04492 91 78 11 2
10094 Wow you can run real fast. 1.1648 0.04492 91 78 11 2
10095 This Ruff is from Fashun for Dogs! 1.1648 0.04212 91 77 13 1
10096 "It's different but we French Bulldogs have much better taste". 1.1647 0.04688 85 73 10 2
10097 It is your choice. Lick yourself or get streamlined. 1.1647 0.04379 85 72 12 1
10098 My owner backs everything does-ward. 1.1647 0.04978 85 74 8 3
10099 Once I get my head through, it protects me from the barbwire. 1.1647 0.04379 85 72 12 1
10100 If you fetch me a Milk-Bone®, I'll teach you the trick. 1.1647 0.04978 85 74 8 3
10101 Outie is the new Innie. 1.1647 0.04688 85 73 10 2
10102 You are clearly the lead dog. 1.1647 0.04688 85 73 10 2
10103 Whew! Milk Bone biscuits will cure that dog breath! 1.1647 0.04379 85 72 12 1
10104 That's what I call GAS.... 1.1647 0.04379 85 72 12 1
10105 „got into a cyclone on Coney Island“ 1.1647 0.04379 85 72 12 1
10106 You have to ask for an "innie".... 1.1646 0.04568 79 67 11 1
10107 Well,this is awkward... sniff butts? 1.1646 0.04198 79 66 13 0
10108 When you wear it this way nobody knows if you dribble your kibble 1.1646 0.04911 79 68 9 2
10109 I am getting ready. I here we are going to the moon. 1.1646 0.04911 79 68 9 2
10110 If you wear it like this, you can run faster and catch more squirrels. 1.1646 0.04568 79 67 11 1
10111 It's in honor of Thanksgiving. 1.1646 0.05231 79 69 7 3
10112 Hi Eliza Hi Bethan 1.1646 0.04911 79 68 9 2
10113 So are you an innie or an outey?? 1.1646 0.04568 79 67 11 1
10114 You just go to www.myinversionblast.com and hit BLOW. 1.1646 0.04568 79 67 11 1
10115 One dose down, one to go! 1.1646 0.05231 79 69 7 3
10116 It's by Dior Dog. 1.1646 0.04911 79 68 9 2
10117 You never considered that perhaps they were putting it on backwards? 1.1646 0.05231 79 69 7 3
10118 It is a gang related deal, if you want to join, I can help to get you fixed up and looking all bad. 1.1646 0.04568 79 67 11 1
10119 Let's make a deal. 1.1646 0.04568 79 67 11 1
10120 It's just some baggage from a previous relationship. 1.1646 0.05231 79 69 7 3
10121 You know that your “ruff” is backwards? 1.1646 0.04568 79 67 11 1
10122 Well I'm not trying to be an influencer. 1.1646 0.04911 79 68 9 2
10123 Snitches chew stiches...!!! 1.1646 0.04198 79 66 13 0
10124 Sheesh, those cross streets are windy! 1.1646 0.04911 79 68 9 2
10125 You could do me the same favor 1.1646 0.04568 79 67 11 1
10126 Don’t you just love my new aerodynamic nosecone? 1.1646 0.04568 79 67 11 1
10127 It's the latest dog-scaping device. 1.1646 0.04198 79 66 13 0
10128 It's at all the dogwalks this spring. 1.1646 0.04568 79 67 11 1
10129 Like this you can see up when it's raining 1.1646 0.04911 79 68 9 2
10130 Same but different 1.1646 0.04198 79 66 13 0
10131 mine slims the neckline.” “mine hides my droopy ears. 1.1646 0.04911 79 68 9 2
10132 This is the reason why simply “wearing it” isn’t 100% effective every time. 1.1646 0.04568 79 67 11 1
10133 ‘I never trusted that Fauci fella to begin with and technically I’m still wearing it!’ 1.1646 0.04198 79 66 13 0
10134 This will be easier to sniff your butt 1.1646 0.04911 79 68 9 2
10135 The principle's the same but this better for chasing cats. 1.1644 0.04784 73 62 10 1
10136 I know..I know.. I went for price not value Christine Garvey, Vancouver, BC 1.1644 0.04784 73 62 10 1
10137 It's more aerodynamic, plus I can lick my balls. 1.1644 0.05522 73 64 6 3
10138 Hey Ron, you're still wearing your cone like THAT? 1.1644 0.05166 73 63 8 2
10139 Do you have balls? 1.1644 0.04784 73 62 10 1
10140 I'd love to see what you do with a leash 1.1644 0.04784 73 62 10 1
10141 Who's making fun of my long neck now?! 1.1644 0.04784 73 62 10 1
10142 I still can’t sniff my butt! 1.1644 0.04784 73 62 10 1
10143 This is the new look! 1.1644 0.04784 73 62 10 1
10144 And last but not least, the Chow in no.12 will lick your balls for a half tin of meat. 1.1644 0.05522 73 64 6 3
10145 Oh Jasper, that’s so yesterday. 1.1644 0.04784 73 62 10 1
10146 Hey, let’s make a TikTok. We’ll get a lot of followers! 1.1644 0.05166 73 63 8 2
10147 Your human has dyslexia. 1.1644 0.04784 73 62 10 1
10148 Ohhh, that's so 'last year." 1.1644 0.04784 73 62 10 1
10149 This is the way all the poodles wear it. 1.1644 0.04784 73 62 10 1
10150 stop yelling like this" "it's because I don't hear you 1.1644 0.05166 73 63 8 2
10151 Well i’m vaccinated... 1.1644 0.04784 73 62 10 1
10152 Wearing this way lets me scratch my face 1.1644 0.04784 73 62 10 1
10153 Flip it around bro 1.1644 0.05166 73 63 8 2
10154 it’s ‘opposite day’ in our household today. 1.1644 0.04368 73 61 12 0
10155 What’s up? 1.1644 0.04784 73 62 10 1
10156 this way is more comfortable 1.1644 0.04784 73 62 10 1
10157 Wait, you had two of these on? 1.1644 0.05166 73 63 8 2
10158 Really? You think that I'M doing it wrong? Get back to me on that. 1.1642 0.04560 67 56 11 0
10159 Sorry dude. That's what we call a COVID catcher! 1.1642 0.05462 67 58 7 2
10160 It's better as a Puritan. 1.1642 0.05031 67 57 9 1
10161 It still keeps me from licking my own asshole, but I think it makes me look thinner if I wear it this way. 1.1642 0.05031 67 57 9 1
10162 It's all about the wind tunnel. 1.1642 0.05031 67 57 9 1
10163 They're interlocking, but they're supposed to be on the other end. 1.1642 0.05031 67 57 9 1
10164 I bet you didn't see that coming. 1.1642 0.04560 67 56 11 0
10165 Sure it’s unorthodox, but I just felt like it was time for a change. 1.1642 0.05031 67 57 9 1
10166 Don't be so glum! Yours is cuter! 1.1639 0.05811 61 53 6 2
10167 You've never heard of Backwards Day? 1.1639 0.03827 61 52 9 0
10168 I believe, I am seeing the world backwards. 1.1639 0.05811 61 53 6 2
10169 My vet studied common core 1.1639 0.04779 61 51 10 0
10170 I'm reclaiming the Cone of Shame! 1.1636 0.06230 55 48 5 2
10171 Also, you don't have to wear a fanny pack on your fanny. 1.1633 0.04023 98 83 14 1
10172 I'm wearing "enoc" . The latest in haute-dog couture. 1.1633 0.04277 98 84 12 2
10173 Too Bad. You can't scratch your ears like me. 1.1633 0.04277 98 84 12 2
10174 I was smoking, and then he farted. 1.1633 0.04743 98 86 8 4
10175 It’s not a cone, it’s a ruff collar! 1.1630 0.04169 92 78 13 1
10176 Efficacious & More Aerodynamic! 1.1630 0.04169 92 78 13 1
10177 I think we've got too used to dressing for zoom calls 1.1630 0.04955 92 81 7 4
10178 The Doc said it’s to keep that evil tail from getting me... 1.1630 0.04447 92 79 11 2
10179 Wow, how did you do that! 1.1630 0.04447 92 79 11 2
10180 it's better for water skiing 1.1630 0.04169 92 78 13 1
10181 #love the new zoom above the keyboard faux collar 1.1630 0.04169 92 78 13 1
10182 Blessed be Ralph 1.1630 0.04169 92 78 13 1
10183 You may also have noticed that my human's pullover is inside out on alternate days 1.1628 0.04637 86 74 10 2
10184 turn that frown upside down, at least were not humans, we don't pay taxes 1.1628 0.04637 86 74 10 2
10185 Turn around for west wind 1.1628 0.04332 86 73 12 1
10186 Land speed record. 1.1628 0.04637 86 74 10 2
10187 It was all fun and games until the Cones came out! 1.1628 0.04332 86 73 12 1
10188 This sure DOES suck! I can't lick my genitals either 1.1628 0.04924 86 75 8 3
10189 “I have a gut feeling that you know something I don’t.” Sydney Hargrove - New Hyde Park, NY 1.1628 0.04004 86 72 14 0
10190 Now the world can't hurt me 1.1628 0.04637 86 74 10 2
10191 You should see what he did to the fish . 1.1628 0.04637 86 74 10 2
10192 Hey man, this is the latest in dog fashion. I think it’s Edwardian inspired. 1.1628 0.04637 86 74 10 2
10193 You haven't heard? New cone just dropped. 1.1628 0.04637 86 74 10 2
10194 My style is better. We can kiss. 1.1628 0.04332 86 73 12 1
10195 Cone... Koan... looking inside yourself... Get it? Aw nevermind 1.1628 0.04924 86 75 8 3
10196 It’s not really a cult. We’re called Pilgrims. And our great leader just bought a boat called The Mayflower. 1.1628 0.04332 86 73 12 1
10197 @kirabacher "hey man ur cone is backwards" 1.1628 0.04332 86 73 12 1
10198 My stylist thinks wearing it this way reduces my jowls 1.1628 0.04332 86 73 12 1
10199 Can you get me a hoagie? 1.1625 0.04516 80 68 11 1
10200 Look at me! I'm an airplane! 1.1625 0.04853 80 69 9 2
10201 I'm revolting and making a fashion statement. 1.1625 0.04853 80 69 9 2
10202 I tried to tell my master NOT to go to the dyslexic veterinarian. 1.1625 0.05169 80 70 7 3
10203 It’s so the tail can’t get at my face. 1.1625 0.04516 80 68 11 1
10204 this guy fucks 1.1625 0.04516 80 68 11 1
10205 Outie beats innie any day. 1.1625 0.04516 80 68 11 1
10206 These new canine digital monitoring devices are meant to interpet our barking , but if you ask me about the translation it's nothing but a big " ruff" around the neck 1.1625 0.04151 80 67 13 0
10207 I'm not sure why, but I have an uncontrollable urge to burn a witch. 1.1625 0.04853 80 69 9 2
10208 I think I like your style better? 1.1625 0.04853 80 69 9 2
10209 Hog Cholera 1.1625 0.04853 80 69 9 2
10210 My big human, the one with those round things on his face, is dyslexic. Finally! An advantage! 1.1625 0.04853 80 69 9 2
10211 The vets are smart but they don’t know fashion. 1.1625 0.04516 80 68 11 1
10212 Trans male canine to trans female: "Like you I'm starting my journey with the outfit." 1.1625 0.04151 80 67 13 0
10213 One small gust of wind, or one very big fart. Either should do the trick. 1.1625 0.05169 80 70 7 3
10214 My trainer is a fanatic on "Do not be backward on coming forward" 1.1625 0.04516 80 68 11 1
10215 I’m wearing the cone of pride. 1.1625 0.04516 80 68 11 1
10216 My vet believes in a holistic approach to scratching. 1.1625 0.04151 80 67 13 0
10217 ...slammed full speed into the mail guy's leg, and the cone snapped backwards! 1.1625 0.04516 80 68 11 1
10218 Just go backwards as fast as you can and then stop! 1.1625 0.05169 80 70 7 3
10219 Hi, My name is Mobius. 1.1625 0.05169 80 70 7 3
10220 Get it? 1.1625 0.04516 80 68 11 1
10221 I successfully removed his appendix 1.1625 0.04516 80 68 11 1
10222 That’s a little too feline, if you ask me. 1.1625 0.04853 80 69 9 2
10223 Playing a finite game but using an infinite game strategy 1.1625 0.05169 80 70 7 3
10224 They told me if I try wearing it backwards then I’m less susceptible to getting the itch. 1.1625 0.04151 80 67 13 0
10225 „I‘m so much faster!“ 1.1625 0.04151 80 67 13 0
10226 It does keep roaming hands off. 1.1622 0.04724 74 63 10 1
10227 My owner is a trend-setter 1.1622 0.04724 74 63 10 1
10228 Fashion is often seen as a modern phenomenon. 1.1622 0.04724 74 63 10 1
10229 Arf.. your owner is smarter than mine.... 1.1622 0.05101 74 64 8 2
10230 Actually it is a fashion statement. 1.1622 0.04314 74 62 12 0
10231 I’d rather have a millstone collar. 1.1622 0.04724 74 63 10 1
10232 Giving is NOT better than receiving! 1.1622 0.04314 74 62 12 0
10233 -Calyx or pistil?- 1.1622 0.04724 74 63 10 1
10234 My Owner is conically challenged. 1.1622 0.04314 74 62 12 0
10235 Neither of us, it seems, have the priestly vocation. 1.1622 0.04724 74 63 10 1
10236 Reversibles are all the rage. 1.1622 0.05101 74 64 8 2
10237 I sense a merger in the offing. 1.1622 0.04724 74 63 10 1
10238 Look at how long my neck is. It was twice as long pre-op. ‘Best plastic surgeon in LA’ and he couldn’t even get it down to a normal neck length. Of course I’ve already review-bombed his Yelp.” 1.1622 0.05101 74 64 8 2
10239 If you will be my Yin...I will be your Yang. 1.1622 0.04314 74 62 12 0
10240 I heard that it prevents Cone-virus restrictions! 1.1622 0.05101 74 64 8 2
10241 If you lick my op-site, I'll lick yours, OK? 1.1622 0.05101 74 64 8 2
10242 If you think yours is bad, you should see what they did with the cat! 1.1622 0.04314 74 62 12 0
10243 -my human is trying to think out of the box -are you sure the cat is not advising him? 1.1622 0.05781 74 66 4 4
10244 They said it was inversion therapy...what’d I know! 1.1622 0.05101 74 64 8 2
10245 they wear the mask on the chin too 1.1622 0.04724 74 63 10 1
10246 I’m getting ready to storm Area 51 1.1622 0.05101 74 64 8 2
10247 Apparently it makes me faster if I decide to flea 1.1622 0.05781 74 66 4 4
10248 I appreciate the sentiment, Doug. 1.1622 0.04724 74 63 10 1
10249 I was sad wen my owners took it off so I put it back on myself 1.1622 0.05101 74 64 8 2
10250 I'm telling you, drinking toilet water does miracles! 1.1622 0.04724 74 63 10 1
10251 I can't tell you how I do it. But you try to figue it out when I appear on "America's Got Talent" in April. 1.1618 0.04499 68 57 11 0
10252 Don't sneeze. 1.1618 0.05387 68 59 7 2
10253 My owner is a “Glass Half-Full” kinda guy. 1.1618 0.05780 68 60 5 3
10254 This is the fast and furious 5000. 1.1618 0.04963 68 58 9 1
10255 It’s the new black... 1.1618 0.04963 68 58 9 1
10256 There's a hole in the bucket Dear Liza Dear Liza ...... ----------------------------------------------------------- TO EDITOR: If you select this caption, please place 2 musical quarter notes at the beginning and end, if possible. 1.1618 0.04499 68 57 11 0
10257 My owner doesn't need a vet now that she has YouTube. 1.1618 0.05387 68 59 7 2
10258 The aerodynamics are far superior. 1.1618 0.04963 68 58 9 1
10259 Frankly, Larry, I've never been in a wind like that! 1.1618 0.05387 68 59 7 2
10260 I’ll scratch yours if you sniff mine. 1.1618 0.04499 68 57 11 0
10261 Another strange thing - sometimes he calls me his god. 1.1618 0.04963 68 58 9 1
10262 It's more comfortable this way----you didn't know it was reversible? 1.1618 0.04963 68 58 9 1
10263 Yes Susan’s medical care is wanting, but let me tell you.... her rump scratches make up for it and then some. 1.1618 0.05387 68 59 7 2
10264 My owner is a southpaw. 1.1618 0.04963 68 58 9 1
10265 It’s how the Gen Z are wearing them now 1.1618 0.04963 68 58 9 1
10266 So how come they had you spayed and me neutered when they know we are faithful to each other? 1.1613 0.04660 93 81 9 3
10267 Your cone is so last year! My newer look is simply fabulous with my coat! 1.1613 0.05723 62 54 6 2
10268 It's really just a matter of your attitude. 1.1613 0.05723 62 54 6 2
10269 No, I’ve not been to the vet - I was just feeling a bit ruff. 1.1613 0.05241 62 53 8 1
10270 Don’t worry, I got vaccinated. 1.1613 0.05241 62 53 8 1
10271 I told them I couldn’t breath with my cone on, but they wouldn’t let me into the dog park without one, so this was my compromise. 1.1613 0.04128 93 79 13 1
10272 It's Comme des Guardog! 1.1609 0.04286 87 74 12 1
10273 Sergio Hudson, Fashion Week. 1.1609 0.05137 87 77 6 4
10274 Didn't you hear it's the new style? 1.1609 0.04588 87 75 10 2
10275 I'm on work-release at the sheep farm. 1.1609 0.04286 87 74 12 1
10276 Sire to sire, here, I think the ladies prefer the inverse collar. 1.1609 0.04286 87 74 12 1
10277 If we can connect a string to each cone, we can talk late at night when our owners are sleeping. 1.1609 0.04286 87 74 12 1
10278 It's the latest fashion from Paris. 1.1609 0.04286 87 74 12 1
10279 Mine is way more aerodynamic. 1.1609 0.04870 87 76 8 3
10280 Ella Emhoff inspired me to make a fashion statement with my collar. 1.1609 0.04588 87 75 10 2
10281 The vet said I need to keep my peripheral vision 1.1609 0.04588 87 75 10 2
10282 It's ultimately about aerodynamics, reducing drag and being able to complete my morning routine 0.05 seconds faster. Plus I'm told I look cuter. 1.1609 0.04588 87 75 10 2
10283 Your problem is you didn't watch all the episodes. 1.1609 0.04588 87 75 10 2
10284 It's Fersace. 1.1609 0.04870 87 76 8 3
10285 ,What do you do for the ringing in your ears?' 1.1609 0.04870 87 76 8 3
10286 I guess I got the aerodynamic one this time. 1.1609 0.04870 87 76 8 3
10287 I thought you said Ruth Spader Ginsberg 1.1609 0.04286 87 74 12 1
10288 I'm guessing you think you should have gone with the mohel! 1.1605 0.04464 81 69 11 1
10289 The wind did it. In fact, I thought this collar was going to end up around my waist. 1.1605 0.04797 81 70 9 2
10290 Are you an innie or an outie? 1.1605 0.04797 81 70 9 2
10291 Nah man, that's so yesterday. Everybody inverts now. 1.1605 0.04797 81 70 9 2
10292 You have to try this new doggie style!” Douglas Monaghan, Floral Park, New Yor 1.1605 0.03709 81 69 12 0
10293 Hey! You got an outie! 1.1605 0.05109 81 71 7 3
10294 I'm a Millennial. 1.1605 0.04104 81 68 13 0
10295 You always were an odd duck 1.1605 0.04797 81 70 9 2
10296 Whaddaya mean,you think I misunderstand what "gourmet dog menu" means? 1.1605 0.04464 81 69 11 1
10297 Do you feel better now? 1.1605 0.04104 81 68 13 0
10298 Lassie can pull that off, but not you. 1.1605 0.04797 81 70 9 2
10299 You are so ON 1.1605 0.04104 81 68 13 0
10300 Beware of strong headwinds. 1.1605 0.04464 81 69 11 1
10301 I'm fine—it's Issey Miyake 1.1605 0.04797 81 70 9 2
10302 Ralph that’s last year’s runway look. You look soooo dated! Please change! 1.1605 0.04104 81 68 13 0
10303 This way I can fly. 1.1605 0.04464 81 69 11 1
10304 I think you put it on inside out 1.1605 0.04104 81 68 13 0
10305 It's Doge-"cone" not Doge-"coin." 1.1605 0.04104 81 68 13 0
10306 It's Jacquemus. 1.1605 0.04464 81 69 11 1
10307 Throat. 1.1605 0.04288 81 71 8 2
10308 It seems like each time you go for speed, they put me on the brakes! 1.1605 0.05109 81 71 7 3
10309 Advice from the vet vs. advice from the breeder 1.1605 0.04464 81 69 11 1
10310 Mine is a Karl Lagerfeld. 1.1605 0.04104 81 68 13 0
10311 Freedom is all about perspective, Reggie. You’ve got to approach it differently. 1.1605 0.04797 81 70 9 2
10312 Are you a pandemic puppy? 1.1605 0.04797 81 70 9 2
10313 that's how they wear it in Paris... 1.1604 0.04474 106 93 9 4
10314 Full face introduction is the way to go! 1.1600 0.05383 75 66 6 3
10315 No, you're supposed to wear it THIS way! 1.1600 0.04262 75 63 12 0
10316 It's fashionable this way, and I can still lick my nut sack. 1.1600 0.05037 75 65 8 2
10317 See, it doubles as a lapel. 1.1600 0.05037 75 65 8 2
10318 I think it’s time to rebrand. 1.1600 0.04665 75 64 10 1
10319 You bark “wow-bow" - I bark “bow-wow" 1.1600 0.04197 100 86 12 2
10320 Yeah, but with mine I can lick my toes! 1.1600 0.04665 75 64 10 1
10321 Hi, I'm Aerodynamic. 1.1600 0.04665 75 64 10 1
10322 I thought this would help,but the cell reception is still awful up here. 1.1600 0.04262 75 63 12 0
10323 I'm pretty sure it's blue on the outside! 1.1600 0.05383 75 66 6 3
10324 That's really you! 1.1600 0.04665 75 64 10 1
10325 My vet said yours protects you from you and mine protects me from you. 1.1600 0.04665 75 64 10 1
10326 It might be backwards, but it's fashion forward! 1.1600 0.04262 75 63 12 0
10327 krab, krab, krab 1.1600 0.05037 75 65 8 2
10328 A whole new world! 1.1600 0.03949 100 85 14 1
10329 ....Hey, didn't I see you on TV with Offred in "The Handmaid's Tale on Hulu?... 1.1600 0.05037 75 65 8 2
10330 You’re my ruff and I’m your woof. 1.1600 0.04665 75 64 10 1
10331 I'm Roman. Looks like you're celebrate too. 1.1600 0.04262 75 63 12 0
10332 No, I much prefer being an innie, like 90 percent of us. 1.1600 0.05037 75 65 8 2
10333 Innies and outies 1.1600 0.04665 75 64 10 1
10334 Check out my 3 o'clock and 9 o'clock, handmaid. 1.1600 0.04665 75 64 10 1
10335 Uncut Cut 1.1600 0.05037 75 65 8 2
10336 And the rest of the world looked at America, it still seemed to work but looked pretty stupid 1.1600 0.04665 75 64 10 1
10337 I wore this so you wouldn’t feel awkward, but it’s uncomfortable. 1.1600 0.04262 75 63 12 0
10338 You should probably turn around pal. 1.1600 0.04665 75 64 10 1
10339 So your human doesn’t know how to wear a mask.... ruff! 1.1600 0.04262 75 63 12 0
10340 Look we mesh! Let’s give it a try 1.1600 0.05037 75 65 8 2
10341 I found that it was much too noisy wearing it your way! 1.1596 0.04358 94 81 11 2
10342 We belong together, we're a perfect fit! 1.1596 0.04088 94 80 13 1
10343 Perhaps, we're not so different after all. 1.1596 0.04855 94 83 7 4
10344 It's nice having them back. 1.1596 0.04088 94 80 13 1
10345 They probably just wanted you to keep your eyes on the road! 1.1596 0.03797 94 79 15 0
10346 We’ve been wearing them the wrong way for all these years! 1.1596 0.03797 94 79 15 0
10347 Do you wanna stay Bark Kent, or become Poocherman? 1.1594 0.05700 69 61 5 3
10348 Need an itch bit, bitch? 1.1594 0.05313 69 60 7 2
10349 Aerodynamics 101. That was the day you skipped Obedience school. 1.1594 0.04439 69 58 11 0
10350 It’s a Tiffany lampshade. 1.1594 0.04896 69 59 9 1
10351 The new model is much more aerodynamic! 1.1594 0.04439 69 58 11 0
10352 I got mine at Starbucks with a Puppuccino. 1.1594 0.04896 69 59 9 1
10353 You're wearing your pilgrim's collar wrong! 1.1594 0.04439 69 58 11 0
10354 They took me to the other vet from Kentucky. 1.1594 0.05313 69 60 7 2
10355 I can't lick my balls either. 1.1594 0.04896 69 59 9 1
10356 Jerk, you want every bark through a bullhorn?" 1.1594 0.04896 69 59 9 1
10357 ...it's like I'm on mute or something. 1.1594 0.04896 69 59 9 1
10358 Ok I did it. I’ll start with my butt and then move to yours. 1.1594 0.04896 69 59 9 1
10359 What’s it like at your end of the wind tunnel...? 1.1594 0.05313 69 60 7 2
10360 We can go back and forth on cone placement, but we’re missing the big picture here buddy - MISSING being the key word 1.1594 0.04896 69 59 9 1
10361 For only $10 extra, I was able to get the aerodynamic model before it went out of stock! I love Instagram ads. 1.1594 0.04896 69 59 9 1
10362 The vet tech assured me it would help to accentuate my cheek bones. 1.1594 0.04896 69 59 9 1
10363 I've worked through my shame. 1.1594 0.04896 69 59 9 1
10364 What can I say, this is fashion 1.1594 0.04896 69 59 9 1
10365 My owner's dog whistle sounds so much better on vinyl." 1.1591 0.04818 88 77 8 3
10366 It's just so much more comfortable this way. 1.1591 0.04539 88 76 10 2
10367 Yeah, my owner is so dumb he thinks Cesar Millan was a Roman emperor. 1.1591 0.04241 88 75 12 1
10368 This is what happens when the tail wags the dog. 1.1591 0.04539 88 76 10 2
10369 Macy's. Fan Department. 1.1591 0.04241 88 75 12 1
10370 My sponsor told me to turn it over. 1.1591 0.04241 88 75 12 1
10371 Free with my reverse mortgage! 1.1591 0.04241 88 75 12 1
10372 Your wear yours the way you want and I'll wear mine the way I want. 1.1591 0.04818 88 77 8 3
10373 Your lampshade is backwards. 1.1591 0.04241 88 75 12 1
10374 I'm a pilgrim. What are you? 1.1591 0.04241 88 75 12 1
10375 Hark, Romeo. I detect a flaw in their cunning scheme. 1.1591 0.04539 88 76 10 2
10376 I know,I know - but my dog daddy’s an artist. 1.1591 0.04241 88 75 12 1
10377 It is from their new avant-garde line of collars 1.1591 0.04241 88 75 12 1
10378 I went to New York... fashion week 1.1591 0.04539 88 76 10 2
10379 The popped collar went out with pastels, Buddy. 1.1587 0.04641 63 53 10 0
10380 O.K., who flipped you? 1.1587 0.05163 63 54 8 1
10381 I’m a glass full kinda dog. 1.1587 0.05637 63 55 6 2
10382 You have yours on backwards Dorian Bowman 62 Buckingham St. Cambridge, MA. 02138 617-661-5809 bowmanetux@comcast.net 1.1587 0.06482 63 57 2 4
10383 The popped collar look stopped being cool for a long time. 1.1587 0.05637 63 55 6 2
10384 I'm telling you, they're infringing on our Dog-given rights by making us wear these things. It's like, wake up, sheepdogs! 1.1587 0.05163 63 54 8 1
10385 Embracing your shame will set you free. 1.1585 0.04414 82 70 11 1
10386 I think we could match 1.1585 0.04414 82 70 11 1
10387 When my master throws shade, I fetch it. 1.1585 0.05050 82 72 7 3
10388 I just finished at the Seminary. That one’ll keep you out of hell. 1.1585 0.04743 82 71 9 2
10389 It helps me pee on my head. 1.1585 0.04743 82 71 9 2
10390 Dummy. You put it on backwards! 1.1585 0.05050 82 72 7 3
10391 Now I can still stick my head out the window! 1.1585 0.04058 82 69 13 0
10392 With how much better it looks, being neutered is now only slightly less embarrassing. 1.1585 0.04743 82 71 9 2
10393 Why did you come back so late? I saw you left the hospital in your owner's Boxter." "He got a speeding ticket. 1.1585 0.05050 82 72 7 3
10394 This easy fix is the new aerodynamic collar configuration. You win; they win! 1.1585 0.04414 82 70 11 1
10395 Um, that was so last season. 1.1585 0.04743 82 71 9 2
10396 It's the new magnum super turbocharged ultra deluxe windproof model. 1.1585 0.04414 82 70 11 1
10397 You're David Cone. I'll be Ken Griffey, Jr. 1.1585 0.04414 82 70 11 1
10398 Mine's more aerodynamic in the snow. 1.1585 0.04058 82 69 13 0
10399 My human is dyslexic, she does everything backwards! 1.1585 0.04743 82 71 9 2
10400 I know how to put this collar on. And my people. 1.1585 0.04414 82 70 11 1
10401 I am a “Cone”servative! 1.1585 0.04414 82 70 11 1
10402 I´m free to roam where ever, just received the 2nd dose of the vaccine yesterday 1.1585 0.04414 82 70 11 1
10403 My megaphone. This, my self-righteousness. 1.1585 0.04058 82 69 13 0
10404 I chose "Number 2 pencil" but "lampshade" is good too 1.1585 0.04743 82 71 9 2
10405 If we work this right they'll never know we're doing the French pooch smooch. 1.1585 0.04743 82 71 9 2
10406 "Try faith in healing from the divinity collar." Joan Moir, Tiburon, CA. 1.1585 0.05050 82 72 7 3
10407 Thats a different way to wear ? Make sure you turn it around if you're going to stick your head out the window! 1.1585 0.05050 82 72 7 3
10408 I got caught in the jet stream. 1.1585 0.04743 82 71 9 2
10409 Its windy out here today !! #hellofromnewyork #smalltalkdiary 1.1585 0.04743 82 71 9 2
10410 my insurance covers full head movement 1.1585 0.04414 82 70 11 1
10411 Maybe if you change your bulb. 1.1585 0.04414 82 70 11 1
10412 dude you’re wearing it wrong 1.1585 0.04414 82 70 11 1
10413 // “No you’ve got it all wrong. Look how I’ve got it. I can lick and eat whatever I want.” 1.1585 0.04414 82 70 11 1
10414 I've got inverted nipples. 1.1579 0.04975 76 66 8 2
10415 You are a monolith, I prefer to leave my masculinity undefined. 1.1579 0.04975 76 66 8 2
10416 What do you mean you’’re firing your stylist? 1.1579 0.04975 76 66 8 2
10417 Senate Democratic Impeachment Managers vs The former President 1.1579 0.04975 76 66 8 2
10418 Cone-wearing is a choice, not a healthcare issue. 1.1579 0.04608 76 65 10 1
10419 I highly recommend getting a claustrophobic owner like mine! 1.1579 0.04975 76 66 8 2
10420 You are so weird! 1.1579 0.04975 76 66 8 2
10421 I opted for the Regency style. 1.1579 0.04211 76 64 12 0
10422 Mine, is a fashion statement, Yours is a receptacle for doggy poo. 1.1579 0.04608 76 65 10 1
10423 Ever heard of the Mayflower Society? 1.1579 0.05316 76 67 6 3
10424 You knaw on mine, and I'll knaw on yours. Deal? 1.1579 0.04608 76 65 10 1
10425 Oh, my God, man! Btush your teeth! 1.1579 0.04211 76 64 12 0
10426 It's Backwards Day at the vet's. 1.1579 0.04211 76 64 12 0
10427 Dog's left, God's right. 1.1579 0.04211 76 64 12 0
10428 Well, one of us has it on backwards! I’ll take mine 1.1579 0.04975 76 66 8 2
10429 I’ve just never seen your face light up like this 1.1579 0.04975 76 66 8 2
10430 I didn't like 'Tenet' all that much, but I did learn one thing. 1.1579 0.04211 76 64 12 0
10431 Ruff Ruff - I like your Elizabethan ruff 1.1579 0.04608 76 65 10 1
10432 My master is into the Pilgrims. 1.1579 0.04048 95 81 13 1
10433 You'd be surprised at how much easier it is to bite tires if you wear it this way. 1.1579 0.05478 57 49 7 1
10434 Hey Buckethead, just to let you know, there's something on your nose. 1.1579 0.04608 76 65 10 1
10435 Barking’s easier, but you can’t hear nearly as well. 1.1579 0.04975 76 66 8 2
10436 You are always making a fashion statement! 1.1579 0.04316 95 82 11 2
10437 I get the feeling you just aren't listening to me. 1.1579 0.04608 76 65 10 1
10438 Sometimes the butt licks you. 1.1579 0.05316 76 67 6 3
10439 Every time I see this guy he's wearing the biggest cone I've ever seen. 1.1579 0.04608 76 65 10 1
10440 I heard your master's voice. She said you look dorky. 1.1579 0.04975 76 66 8 2
10441 You’ve been brainwashed by big cone. 1.1579 0.04048 95 81 13 1
10442 So, you’re telling me this “Q” said, what? 1.1579 0.05316 76 67 6 3
10443 I’m left handed. 1.1579 0.04048 95 81 13 1
10444 Hey, it’s me - your ass! 1.1579 0.04211 76 64 12 0
10445 what? all the gen z’s are doing it 1.1579 0.04048 95 81 13 1
10446 Well this way 5G can't get me 1.1579 0.04211 76 64 12 0
10447 I learned that George Soros wants you to wear it that way.... 1.1579 0.04048 95 81 13 1
10448 You used to call me on my cell-cone 1.1579 0.05316 76 67 6 3
10449 Make it fashion." 1.1573 0.03881 89 75 14 0
10450 Trust! A stiff neck is in this season. 1.1573 0.03881 89 75 14 0
10451 It is the latest in rehab wear! 1.1573 0.03881 89 75 14 0
10452 You totally ask the doctor the wrong question. 1.1573 0.04197 89 76 12 1
10453 It’s easier to breathe when you don’t cover your nose. 1.1573 0.04197 89 76 12 1
10454 Where’ve you been? Everybody’s rockin’ the Elizabethan backwards this year. 1.1573 0.04491 89 77 10 2
10455 Elizabethan collar is old news. The New Yorker collar is a must for 2021! 1.1573 0.04767 89 78 8 3
10456 Fashion complexities 1.1573 0.04197 89 76 12 1
10457 I misunderstood ‘it’s a dog eat dog world’ 1.1573 0.04197 89 76 12 1
10458 I am not a sheep 1.1573 0.04767 89 78 8 3
10459 Leave it. I've had enough fixing for one day. 1.1571 0.05242 70 61 7 2
10460 Again. Faster this time. 1.1571 0.04381 70 59 11 0
10461 It happened when the FedEx guy rang the doorbell while my owner was in the shower and the pasta was boiling over. 1.1571 0.05242 70 61 7 2
10462 When you come out, you feel so much more comfortable! 1.1571 0.04381 70 59 11 0
10463 What can I say? My masters think they’re fashionistas. 1.1571 0.05242 70 61 7 2
10464 It's called "The Cone of Pride." 1.1571 0.04381 70 59 11 0
10465 Do you like my new ruff? 1.1571 0.04831 70 60 9 1
10466 I know I’m not qualified but my cousin from contest #739 got me this job. 1.1571 0.04381 70 59 11 0
10467 You have to kill every party with this stupid lamp shade gig! 1.1571 0.05242 70 61 7 2
10468 My veterinarian is trying a homeopathic remedy so I have some flexibility. 1.1571 0.05623 70 62 5 3
10469 It doesn't get me any closer to my butt reaching the counter with the cat's food is another matter. 1.1571 0.04381 70 59 11 0
10470 I guess I’ll have to walk backwards. 1.1571 0.05623 70 62 5 3
10471 It's like having an innie or an outtee. 1.1571 0.04831 70 60 9 1
10472 Hey, just like our owners: I have an "innie," you have an "outie" 1.1571 0.04381 70 59 11 0
10473 lalala 1.1571 0.05242 70 61 7 2
10474 That Elizabethan look so SO 16th Century... 1.1571 0.04381 70 59 11 0
10475 I bribed the cat to knock down a lamp which allowed me to get a much better deal from the lampshade! 1.1571 0.04831 70 60 9 1
10476 That old party joke about putting a lamp shade on your head ain't what it used to be. 1.1571 0.05242 70 61 7 2
10477 Your mask slipped. 1.1571 0.05623 70 62 5 3
10478 I prefer the Dutch Master. 1.1566 0.04014 83 70 13 0
10479 Ruff? Ruff!!! 1.1566 0.04364 83 71 11 1
10480 Looks like it’s a case of glass half full or glass half empty. 1.1566 0.04689 83 72 9 2
10481 With the new Climate Plan, everything has to be tested in a wind tunnel. 1.1566 0.04689 83 72 9 2
10482 Yeah, dawg, it's called a "reverse castration surgery," nah, I couldn't believe it either. 1.1566 0.04364 83 71 11 1
10483 Still wearing that old thing? 1.1566 0.04992 83 73 7 3
10484 If you put it on this way it stopped your butt from biting you. 1.1566 0.04689 83 72 9 2
10485 It's the latest in veterinary haute couture. 1.1566 0.04689 83 72 9 2
10486 It's certainly giving you an hourglass figure. I prefer slimming myself. 1.1566 0.04364 83 71 11 1
10487 I prefer it this way, I can chew my own ass. 1.1566 0.04689 83 72 9 2
10488 Yours is so Gary Oldman, Fifth Element. 1.1566 0.04364 83 71 11 1
10489 We are Devo! 1.1566 0.04364 83 71 11 1
10490 Once I was all better, I discovered this way makes me a lot more aerodynamic. 1.1566 0.04364 83 71 11 1
10491 Whose owner is right? 1.1566 0.04014 83 70 13 0
10492 My stylist taught me how to restyle my accessories to accentuate my assets. 1.1566 0.04689 83 72 9 2
10493 Do you like my new superhero cape? 1.1566 0.04992 83 73 7 3
10494 ‘I didn’t want you to go at it alone mate… my owner is gonna be pissed when he sees what happened to her lamp though lol’ 1.1566 0.04364 83 71 11 1
10495 The vet forgot about my flatulence issues. 1.1562 0.05554 64 56 6 2
10496 Are you ready for the Big Shame? 1.1562 0.05088 64 55 8 1
10497 Don't eat off the table until it's removed. 1.1562 0.05088 64 55 8 1
10498 We were destined for one another like hand in glove! 1.1562 0.05088 64 55 8 1
10499 I got a dyslexic owner, that's why! 1.1562 0.05554 64 56 6 2
10500 I like my collars closer to to hug my shirt. 1.1562 0.04575 64 54 10 0
10501 Just stick the front half of your body out of the car window! 1.1562 0.05554 64 56 6 2
10502 Fathead 1.1562 0.05554 64 56 6 2
10503 And now you need a Facemask more than ever. 1.1562 0.04274 96 83 11 2
10504 How do you KNOW you're talking to my face? 1.1562 0.05088 64 55 8 1
10505 . you are the ying to my yang. 1.1562 0.04575 64 54 10 0
10506 Breed? I am a Pushmepullyoodle 1.1558 0.04914 77 67 8 2
10507 I'm a good Puritan boy! 1.1558 0.04161 77 65 12 0
10508 I just learned to flip. 1.1558 0.04161 77 65 12 0
10509 I was lucky, my owners are dyslexic. 1.1558 0.04914 77 67 8 2
10510 Wearing it this way is kizmet! You can reach everything! 1.1558 0.05250 77 68 6 3
10511 Backwards medical advice is the future - trust me, all the humans are doing it. 1.1558 0.04553 77 66 10 1
10512 I'm an anglophile. I prefer the Elizabethan look. 1.1558 0.04553 77 66 10 1
10513 My owner screams at me all the time. 1.1558 0.04553 77 66 10 1
10514 Bark 1.1558 0.04914 77 67 8 2
10515 I like to be fashion forward. 1.1558 0.04914 77 67 8 2
10516 This is how it’s done in France, as it allows smoking a Gaulois with certain je ne sais quoi. 1.1558 0.04553 77 66 10 1
10517 Buddy, your collar is out! 1.1558 0.04553 77 66 10 1
10518 It’s the style the kids are wearing these days 1.1558 0.04161 77 65 12 0
10519 You put it on the wrong way. 1.1558 0.04553 77 66 10 1
10520 Do you want to go get an ice cream cone? 1.1558 0.04553 77 66 10 1
10521 Mine is to keep me from chewing my nails11 1.1558 0.04914 77 67 8 2
10522 Cone you be serious? 1.1558 0.04914 77 67 8 2
10523 Of course my time trials are faster. Your aerodynamics are all wrong! 1.1558 0.04914 77 67 8 2
10524 who wore it better - Bello or Pluto? 1.1558 0.04553 77 66 10 1
10525 I’m a rocketship and you’re a tuba bucko 1.1558 0.04914 77 67 8 2
10526 How did you guess my owner is Ken Griffey, Jr.? 1.1558 0.04161 77 65 12 0
10527 Yeah, this is how we wear them in the future... but on the plus side, cats are extinct. 1.1558 0.04553 77 66 10 1
10528 The Puppy Bowl was rigged! TamPaw Bay lost in a landslide, it wasn’t even close. Oh, and the fascist security guard wouldn’t let me in Petco, so we’ll need to find pig-ears elsewhere 1.1558 0.04553 77 66 10 1
10529 I can breathe easier this way. 1.1558 0.04914 77 67 8 2
10530 ‘Saying it looks a little passé does not make me a bitch.’ 1.1558 0.05250 77 68 6 3
10531 It’s not a protective cone, it’s a lampshade I got stuck in at Finn’s blowout. 1.1556 0.04444 90 78 10 2
10532 Apparently, mine is so that my hoo-man, Gerald, cannot chew on my collar. He likes leather. 1.1556 0.04717 90 79 8 3
10533 Look, all I know is that any successful relationship requires one to be the bulb and one to be the spindle. 1.1556 0.04444 90 78 10 2
10534 I explained that ruffles are pass 1.1556 0.04444 90 78 10 2
10535 From where I stand, it’s not much better 1.1556 0.04154 90 77 12 1
10536 I'd call it stylin! 1.1556 0.04154 90 77 12 1
10537 Pot-tay-toh, po-tah-toh, amirite? No. No, you're not. 1.1556 0.04154 90 77 12 1
10538 Jack got blasted last nite and did his usual wear the lampshade. Back to me,backwards. Thanks Jack 1.1556 0.04154 90 77 12 1
10539 Sorry about that- what did you do? 1.1556 0.04154 90 77 12 1
10540 The condom goes the other way 1.1556 0.04444 90 78 10 2
10541 Respect the drip Karen 1.1556 0.04717 90 79 8 3
10542 It’s a 1st Amendment thing. 1.1556 0.03842 90 76 14 0
10543 It's called the form over function design. 1.1553 0.03587 103 87 16 0
10544 I think you understand our relationship backwards. 1.1552 0.05390 58 50 7 1
10545 Did you get dressed in the dark? Canine-19 was just reported at Central Park!! 1.1552 0.05390 58 50 7 1
10546 If you take the same political side as your master, he'll let you wear it like this. 1.1549 0.04325 71 60 11 0
10547 Is your owner in a fraternity? 1.1549 0.04325 71 60 11 0
10548 I prefer my innie to your outie 1.1549 0.04325 71 60 11 0
10549 After they did a "Beam him up!", it's not the only thing that's on backwards. 1.1549 0.04767 71 61 9 1
10550 What makes you so certain your method is the most effective? You have always been such a conformist. 1.1549 0.04767 71 61 9 1
10551 Are you from Great Britain or Australia? 1.1549 0.04325 71 60 11 0
10552 Your bite is worse than your bark! 1.1549 0.04767 71 61 9 1
10553 I think my owners have seen Tenet too many times. 1.1549 0.04325 71 60 11 0
10554 This doesn’t stop social distancing, mate. 1.1549 0.05172 71 62 7 2
10555 It makes butt sniffing a breeze! 1.1549 0.05172 71 62 7 2
10556 It's next level, Bubba! The Inside Out Cone, of course. 1.1549 0.04767 71 61 9 1
10557 Wearing it this way highlights my bone's structure 1.1549 0.05172 71 62 7 2
10558 Peeky or sagging, I can change them later. 1.1549 0.05172 71 62 7 2
10559 Check me out: same old shame, but now in collar form! 1.1549 0.04325 71 60 11 0
10560 Opposites attract,, even if we’re not perfect ?! 1.1549 0.04325 71 60 11 0
10561 They call it a Bridgerton. 1.1549 0.04325 71 60 11 0
10562 Not again... 1.1549 0.04325 71 60 11 0
10563 i’m following the new guidance from the American Kennel Club 1.1549 0.04325 71 60 11 0
10564 @newyorkermag “you’re the yin to my yang” 1.1549 0.04325 71 60 11 0
10565 So I take it you're a glass-half-full kinda guy? 1.1549 0.04767 71 61 9 1
10566 Huh. So in my dimension we wear them this way. 1.1549 0.04325 71 60 11 0
10567 The rain winds inverted my umbrella 1.1549 0.04767 71 61 9 1
10568 Yeah, condoms proved problematic 1.1548 0.04316 84 72 11 1
10569 What're you going to do next, take away my bone? 1.1548 0.04637 84 73 9 2
10570 That's so maxed out, turn it around and you'll be popping home skillet! 1.1548 0.03970 84 71 13 0
10571 I somehow fetch much faster when I'm sick. 1.1548 0.03970 84 71 13 0
10572 Just be glad I am wearing a cone. 1.1548 0.04316 84 72 11 1
10573 Mine is all about social distancing. 1.1548 0.03970 84 71 13 0
10574 I prefer it to be more air dynamic. 1.1548 0.04936 84 74 7 3
10575 Cone of shame and anti-shame ! 1.1548 0.04316 84 72 11 1
10576 I'm trying to actually catch a car. 1.1548 0.04637 84 73 9 2
10577 It's the top of a white umbrella, and you know what they do in a high wind. 1.1548 0.04637 84 73 9 2
10578 I think we can help each other. But it involves trust. 1.1548 0.04316 84 72 11 1
10579 What does this have to do with the Star of David? 1.1548 0.04637 84 73 9 2
10580 I SAID YOU'RE WEARING IT BACKWARDS!!! 1.1548 0.04637 84 73 9 2
10581 This is actually the Lampshade 12, a revolution in anti-scratching hardware 1.1548 0.04637 84 73 9 2
10582 This is the way all the cool dawgs are wearing them now. 1.1548 0.04316 84 72 11 1
10583 I wear it this way because I’m not a sheep dog. 1.1546 0.03971 97 83 13 1
10584 It's the latest, a lampshade! 1.1538 0.04855 78 68 8 2
10585 I have been itching to try wearing it this way, what do you think ? 1.1538 0.04399 91 79 10 2
10586 Yes, big collars are very trendy. But this is how they are wearing them in Paris. 1.1538 0.05473 65 57 6 2
10587 Don't let it get you down, after you get better it makes a great political statement - DLM! 1.1538 0.05896 65 58 4 3
10588 ‘Come closer. I’ll show you what I mean.’ 1.1538 0.04498 78 67 10 1
10589 Cone diversity! Good grief, will they ever get along! 1.1538 0.04498 78 67 10 1
10590 When I got back home, my dad laughed and said I look like something called a “penis.” 1.1538 0.04855 78 68 8 2
10591 Hope this was worth the flea-dom. 1.1538 0.04498 78 67 10 1
10592 What's wrong with you? 1.1538 0.04399 91 79 10 2
10593 Let's troll using sound bites. You go first. 1.1538 0.04510 65 55 10 0
10594 Mine's 5G and has Blue Tooth so I can listen to Pawd-casts. 1.1538 0.04855 78 68 8 2
10595 I get better walk milage with the airstream unit. 1.1538 0.05473 65 57 6 2
10596 I figure it's less wind drag running, and well,,, I told my master that Q wants it this way. 1.1538 0.04769 65 58 5 2
10597 I'm dyslexic, that's why ! 1.1538 0.04855 78 68 8 2
10598 It's a head wound. 1.1538 0.04855 78 68 8 2
10599 Which way to the junk yard? 1.1538 0.04112 78 66 12 0
10600 You’re 30% more streamlined if you wear it like this! 1.1538 0.03685 78 70 6 2
10601 Opposites attract!! Marry me! Cal Bellamy, Munster, IN 1.1538 0.04855 78 68 8 2
10602 It seems you have introverted somewhat - since the operation and what not. 1.1538 0.04498 78 67 10 1
10603 IKEA?” “Yup. Pier One? 1.1538 0.04112 78 66 12 0
10604 I figured it was a good "medical necessity/fashion statement " hybrid. 1.1538 0.04855 78 68 8 2
10605 Surgery? Nah. It's a spoiler. 1.1538 0.04399 91 79 10 2
10606 are you a nun ? 1.1538 0.04855 78 68 8 2
10607 You say 'woof'. but I say 'foow' 1.1538 0.05015 65 56 8 1
10608 Follow the Science Diet. 1.1538 0.04112 78 66 12 0
10609 My good sir, it appears your ruff is on backward. 1.1538 0.04510 65 55 10 0
10610 Turn your collar around, and they'll think you're a Puritan! 1.1538 0.05186 78 69 6 3
10611 Now, let’s do a scene from Witness. 1.1538 0.04855 78 68 8 2
10612 Yeah, been working overtime on my Tik Toks lately 1.1538 0.04498 78 67 10 1
10613 I couldn’t smell the updog when I wore it like that 1.1538 0.04855 78 68 8 2
10614 I don't see how I'm wearing it incorrectly. 1.1538 0.04498 78 67 10 1
10615 Take a look at the flip side of the cone. 1.1538 0.04510 65 55 10 0
10616 hey, try this! we won't be mistaken as animation studio mascot again! 1.1538 0.04498 78 67 10 1
10617 « I’m a guide dog. » 1.1538 0.05473 65 57 6 2
10618 It’s a normal cone, find a new slant @rightstorickysanchez #enoughunkownsources 1.1538 0.04510 65 55 10 0
10619 No no no, I saw it on a video, we've been doing it wrong for years. 1.1538 0.04498 78 67 10 1
10620 It makes me feel like a rocket ship when I run” @johnntyma 1.1538 0.04112 78 66 12 0
10621 I’ve got our ticket to rap stardom: A mashup of Kris Kross + Snoop Dog, boom! Whadya think? 1.1538 0.05052 52 44 8 0
10622 My owner didn't want it to interfere with my instagram following. 1.1538 0.04510 65 55 10 0
10623 looks more like a ruff this way 1.1538 0.03803 91 77 14 0
10624 I think he wants the trophy for his den. 1.1531 0.03933 98 84 13 1
10625 Mine's to keep me from licking my butt. 1.1531 0.04192 98 85 11 2
10626 It requires a high velocity. 1.1531 0.03933 98 84 13 1
10627 Why? Because my owner has a plum sized brain too. 1.1529 0.04585 85 74 9 2
10628 Yeah, My owner is pretty cool. I try not to think about it too much, I just keep chewing. 1.1529 0.04585 85 74 9 2
10629 My dear, you are out of fashion by 5 centuries! 1.1529 0.04269 85 73 11 1
10630 Have you tried taking it off and on again? 1.1529 0.05160 85 76 5 4
10631 I just can't do luge anymore. You know I'm a bobsledder at heart. 1.1529 0.04269 85 73 11 1
10632 My body different 1.1529 0.03553 85 74 11 0
10633 Ye gods, man, what have they done to us? 1.1529 0.04269 85 73 11 1
10634 It's the renaissance model. 1.1529 0.03927 85 72 13 0
10635 A marriage made in heaven? 1.1529 0.03927 85 72 13 0
10636 Which superhero are you? 1.1529 0.04881 85 75 7 3
10637 Does this increase my coverage ? 1.1529 0.03927 85 72 13 0
10638 Haven’t you watched the YouTube videos I sent you? It’s all an hoax, dog, we really don’t need them. So you know, it’s all civil disobedience really, grassroots protesting 1.1529 0.04585 85 74 9 2
10639 instruments for successful merraige life. 1.1529 0.04881 85 75 7 3
10640 Status Quo < Status Cone 1.1529 0.04269 85 73 11 1
10641 Trust me, it is so much better when master says 'walkies' in twister season. 1.1528 0.04270 72 61 11 0
10642 Hi, I'm AC. I'm DC. 1.1528 0.04270 72 61 11 0
10643 You think I'd raise my skirt for any dog I run into? 1.1528 0.04706 72 62 9 1
10644 I'm going for a fashion statement. 1.1528 0.04270 72 61 11 0
10645 No injury! This is my clerical collar. 1.1528 0.04706 72 62 9 1
10646 I'd love you to follow me into the squirrel hole, but you should probably go tail first. 1.1528 0.04270 72 61 11 0
10647 You're wearing your Cone of Self-Esteem backwards! 1.1528 0.04270 72 61 11 0
10648 Woof, we are sure to fit together 1.1528 0.04706 72 62 9 1
10649 The streamlined look makes it easier for chasing cars. 1.1528 0.04270 72 61 11 0
10650 You look like an enigma. I feel like a riddle wrapped up in a mystery. 1.1528 0.04706 72 62 9 1
10651 The worst part for me, is Not Seeing where you’re ‘Going’ 1.1528 0.05104 72 63 7 2
10652 Karen you’re wearing it wrong! 1.1528 0.04270 72 61 11 0
10653 Hi, my name is Bernoulli. 1.1528 0.05104 72 63 7 2
10654 It's the new streamlined look. 1.1528 0.04270 72 61 11 0
10655 How long will we stay in this left and right discussion. 1.1528 0.05104 72 63 7 2
10656 I love the old school collar of shame look 1.1528 0.04706 72 62 9 1
10657 Next time tell them you’re a good boy. 1.1528 0.04706 72 62 9 1
10658 That look is soooo 20th century 1.1528 0.04270 72 61 11 0
10659 Studies indicate that if you cone is inverted it is 20% more effective. 1.1528 0.04706 72 62 9 1
10660 How'd you do that"... "Just run really really fast". 1.1528 0.04706 72 62 9 1
10661 Happy valentine's my better half 1.1528 0.05104 72 63 7 2
10662 You are an outcast ! ". "But this seems comfy " 1.1528 0.04270 72 61 11 0
10663 So, I run head first into this other dog going full speed 1.1528 0.05104 72 63 7 2
10664 - "That cone is so last season." 1.1528 0.04706 72 62 9 1
10665 It's supposed to be a crown, not a scarf, Mindy 1.1528 0.04706 72 62 9 1
10666 Bruv, is this still COVID safe? 1.1528 0.04706 72 62 9 1
10667 It’s a fashion statement at this point” @newyorkerma 1.1528 0.04706 72 62 9 1
10668 Much better aerodynamics this way. 1.1528 0.04270 72 61 11 0
10669 ok but i saw some kids on tik-tok wearing it like this. 1.1525 0.05304 59 51 7 1
10670 It’s not supported by science 1.1522 0.04354 92 80 10 2
10671 I decided not to be vexed any more with a convex cover. 1.1522 0.04070 92 79 12 1
10672 Hey, don't get angry with me, my owners are just dog-healthcare challenged. 1.1522 0.04354 92 80 10 2
10673 You must be a girl. 1.1522 0.04070 92 79 12 1
10674 You know, they say King Henry’s was reversible. 1.1522 0.04354 92 80 10 2
10675 It's the newest thing from the makers of the inverted umbrella. 1.1522 0.04354 92 80 10 2
10676 Actually, it's reversible. The cone of shame turns into the cone of fame. 1.1522 0.04354 92 80 10 2
10677 I’ve heard that getting an innie or an outie is a matter of chance, most of have innies. 1.1522 0.04070 92 79 12 1
10678 You know, you cold have asked for the turtleneck style? 1.1522 0.04354 92 80 10 2
10679 Don’t ask, my human said something about Soviet Russia, wound licks you, and then just laughed at me 1.1522 0.04354 92 80 10 2
10680 I guess next time you’ll brace yourself. 1.1519 0.04797 79 69 8 2
10681 Who needs opposable thumbs? 1.1519 0.05124 79 70 6 3
10682 I'm playing Abidog in the Crucible. by Lucy Wang, Los Angeles 1.1519 0.04445 79 68 10 1
10683 You scratch my back and_ _ _. 1.1519 0.04445 79 68 10 1
10684 No, I don't have an injury. This cone just cuts down on the draft. 1.1519 0.04064 79 67 12 0
10685 At least it looks better...right? 1.1519 0.04064 79 67 12 0
10686 opposites attract. 1.1519 0.04797 79 69 8 2
10687 My person is a conservative priest. 1.1519 0.04797 79 69 8 2
10688 I argued for superior aerodynamics outside the car window. 1.1519 0.04445 79 68 10 1
10689 C'mon that's last seasons look. 1.1519 0.04797 79 69 8 2
10690 This is way more uncomfortable but extremely trendy. 1.1519 0.04445 79 68 10 1
10691 Hey, you want to hook up? 1.1519 0.04445 79 68 10 1
10692 Son of a b”itch” 1.1519 0.04445 79 68 10 1
10693 You must be punished too !! 1.1519 0.04445 79 68 10 1
10694 That’s right I’m a nonconformist doggone it! 1.1519 0.04064 79 67 12 0
10695 No judge. I just prefer to be aerodynamic. 1.1519 0.04445 79 68 10 1
10696 Fair knight, I wish to discuss a personal situation with your lord. 1.1519 0.04445 79 68 10 1
10697 It's just a short step from 'roll over' to 'rotate on its axis.' 1.1519 0.04797 79 69 8 2
10698 That was so last month, you wear it like this now 1.1519 0.04064 79 67 12 0
10699 So you faught with the lamp too huh 1.1519 0.04445 79 68 10 1
10700 YOU'VE GOT THE COOL & LAID BACK OWNERS . . . . 1.1519 0.04064 79 67 12 0
10701 You should update your software, the new version is much more streamlined 1.1519 0.04797 79 69 8 2
10702 My owner is Governor Newsome. The rules do not apply to us. 1.1515 0.05395 66 58 6 2
10703 Fashion Don't 1.1515 0.04447 66 56 10 0
10704 Up-dos are so last year! 1.1515 0.04447 66 56 10 0
10705 Latest model. Visibility is better although I still cannot lick myself! 1.1515 0.04944 66 57 8 1
10706 In Soviet Union, stitches bite YOU. 1.1515 0.04447 66 56 10 0
10707 My owner wears it this way because it's easier to breathe. 1.1515 0.05395 66 58 6 2
10708 ...yeah, and my owner calls me ‘god.' 1.1515 0.04944 66 57 8 1
10709 Just give it a few days, It’ll turn around 1.1515 0.05395 66 58 6 2
10710 Let's say you're more like Mark Darcy and I'm like Bridget Jones 1.1515 0.04944 66 57 8 1
10711 Remember that Flava Flav lyric? ‘I’m lampin, I’m lampin, I’m cold-cold lampin.’ That’s pretty much us right now. 1.1515 0.04944 66 57 8 1
10712 But have you tried the car window?! 1.1515 0.05395 66 58 6 2
10713 Evidently we do it this way in America because of some doctor who made corn flakes 1.1515 0.04944 66 57 8 1
10714 I’m a pig when I lick myself. 1.1515 0.05395 66 58 6 2
10715 My master is trying to "mute" me 1.1512 0.04827 86 76 7 3
10716 No offense, but your cone is so last season. 1.1512 0.04223 86 74 11 1
10717 Bronson and McQueen's dogs must be rolling all over the dirt in their graves, huh? 1.1512 0.03885 86 73 13 0
10718 You're making it look like the original, but everyone still sees that it's a fake. 1.1512 0.04827 86 76 7 3
10719 Can we trade our collars? 1.1512 0.03885 86 73 13 0
10720 With this I can sniff butts. And lick myself. 1.1512 0.04535 86 75 9 2
10721 If you want to lick yourself you’re gonna have to turn it around, bro! 1.1512 0.04223 86 74 11 1
10722 This way, I still meet my need for speed. 1.1512 0.04535 86 75 9 2
10723 Your collar is incomparable to my cape 1.1512 0.04223 86 74 11 1
10724 Ok, let's go for two in a row! 1.1512 0.04223 86 74 11 1
10725 It looks like I'm not in charge but I've shortened the surface area. 1.1512 0.04223 86 74 11 1
10726 You look like a club member--but your collar is backward 1.1512 0.04535 86 75 9 2
10727 Now you I know who is behind me. 1.1512 0.04223 86 74 11 1
10728 It’s because I’m poly-animus—I openly sniff multiple species’ butts. 1.1512 0.04535 86 75 9 2
10729 Try meditation, it'll really shift your worldview. 1.1512 0.04535 86 75 9 2
10730 Inner me avoiding sanctions and restrictions without being caught. 1.1512 0.04223 86 74 11 1
10731 It's a normal collar. Get a new slant. 1.1512 0.04223 86 74 11 1
10732 That's when I realised the whole thing is basically just an echo chamber. 1.1512 0.03885 86 73 13 0
10733 Walter, see... I'm a rocket now. Come on and play with me 1.1512 0.04827 86 76 7 3
10734 You say potato and I say..... Aw, let’s call the whole thing off. 1.1507 0.05403 73 65 5 3
10735 Forward facing cones are so last year. 1.1507 0.04645 73 63 9 1
10736 Does your owner think that lampshade will help your neck problem? 1.1507 0.05038 73 64 7 2
10737 I follow a Reddit forum on life hacks! 1.1507 0.05038 73 64 7 2
10738 Mine is the Chanel pilgrim collar. What’s yours called? 1.1507 0.05403 73 65 5 3
10739 I haven’t been able to fetch this well since I was a puppy 1.1507 0.04645 73 63 9 1
10740 It's not supposed to be aerodynamic. 1.1507 0.04216 73 62 11 0
10741 Neither of us can clean our butts, but yours is so yesterday. 1.1507 0.05038 73 64 7 2
10742 I now get 46 mpg and chicks for free! 1.1507 0.04645 73 63 9 1
10743 I may seem old-fashioned, but yours is the cone of lame. 1.1507 0.05038 73 64 7 2
10744 We thought we'd try something different this year. 1.1507 0.05038 73 64 7 2
10745 How’d you manage that? 1.1507 0.04645 73 63 9 1
10746 Yeah, but mine keeps my fur from becoming messed up. 1.1507 0.05038 73 64 7 2
10747 At the dog park they make fun of me for having an autistic owner - who's laughing now? 1.1507 0.05403 73 65 5 3
10748 To bark, or not to bark, that is the question 1.1507 0.05038 73 64 7 2
10749 Wanna play hide and seek? 1.1507 0.04645 73 63 9 1
10750 It's a glass half empty, glass half full type of thing. 1.1507 0.04645 73 63 9 1
10751 Another coney dog! Yum! 1.1507 0.04645 73 63 9 1
10752 You can't even copy me right! 1.1507 0.04216 73 62 11 0
10753 It’s like looking in a mirror, but a clumsy one. 1.1507 0.04216 73 62 11 0
10754 I am your dream of where dog gets Through the Looking Glass 1.1507 0.04645 73 63 9 1
10755 Omg I was today years old when I learned I’d been wearing a cone all wrong! 1.1507 0.04645 73 63 9 1
10756 I thought u said it was fake news. 1.1507 0.05038 73 64 7 2
10757 I swear it’s all the rage in Paris 1.1507 0.04645 73 63 9 1
10758 You know that old saying we fit together like two conical anti-itch collars <3 1.1507 0.04645 73 63 9 1
10759 It’s a shameless cone 1.1507 0.04645 73 63 9 1
10760 Rally cone, baby! 1.1505 0.04030 93 80 12 1
10761 It's aerodynamic. I get more miles per kibble. 1.1505 0.04030 93 80 12 1
10762 They’re never gonna let you into the dog park like that... 1.1505 0.04573 93 82 8 3
10763 Who’s your doctor? 1.1505 0.04310 93 81 10 2
10764 At least your tailor knows how to fit you correctly. 1.1505 0.04030 93 80 12 1
10765 Look, this way is much more aerodynamic, I read it on Facebook 1.1505 0.04030 93 80 12 1
10766 Hey! You...okay.... 1.1500 0.03375 80 69 11 0
10767 It may look better, but what does it matter if I still can't lick my balls, am I right?! I guess we could do each other, right?! Haha, no you're right, you're right, I was just kidding...yeah. I mean...do YOU think it'd be weird? 1.1500 0.04740 80 70 8 2
10768 You’re a Kansas City Chiefs fan, but I hope you’re not licking your wounds. 1.1500 0.04394 80 69 10 1
10769 And then I discovered Duchess Goldblatt, and everything changed for the better. 1.1500 0.04740 80 70 8 2
10770 It got a 4.7 out of five woofs on Amazon 1.1500 0.04394 80 69 10 1
10771 You know CDC guidelines say it’s supposed to cover your mouth and nose... 1.1500 0.04740 80 70 8 2
10772 A Tiffany would brighten your peripherals. 1.1500 0.04740 80 70 8 2
10773 Goody Sheba, I name ye for a witch! 1.1500 0.04394 80 69 10 1
10774 I’m the Yin to your Yang” 1.1500 0.04394 80 69 10 1
10775 Mostly aerodynamics, but I also got tired of being called a preppy. 1.1500 0.04740 80 70 8 2
10776 They thought it better that I remove the ticks from my ears! 1.1500 0.04017 80 68 12 0
10777 Hey, I'll lick yours if you'll lick...ah, never mind 1.1500 0.04394 80 69 10 1
10778 183 miles per hour. Really. 1.1500 0.04017 80 68 12 0
10779 Maybe it’s not as effective, but it certainly flatters the snout. 1.1500 0.04394 80 69 10 1
10780 The Olympic judges haven't noticed yet. 1.1500 0.03860 100 86 13 1
10781 My collar was reverse-engineered, but I wonder if being able to gnaw on my tail is a feature or a bug. 1.1500 0.04740 80 70 8 2
10782 Yes, it's Armani. But your McQueen is rad too 1.1500 0.04394 80 69 10 1
10783 Mine makes me go faster. 1.1500 0.04394 80 69 10 1
10784 The secret is to embrace it with a mindgrowth mentality,man 1.1500 0.04017 80 68 12 0
10785 If I wear it this way I can still bite it 1.1500 0.04740 80 70 8 2
10786 my owner said this flows better with the apt 1.1500 0.04394 80 69 10 1
10787 I'll lick yours for you if you lick mine 1.1500 0.04394 80 69 10 1
10788 You have to believe in yourself 1.1500 0.04740 80 70 8 2
10789 Can I take yours too?! 1.1500 0.04017 80 68 12 0
10790 Backwards as always been a little awkward mate. 1.1500 0.04740 80 70 8 2
10791 And that was when they explained me the concept of air friction. 1.1494 0.04486 87 76 9 2
10792 Hey Corn Dog, I think I just thought of the latest style. I call it... Cone Dog! 1.1494 0.04486 87 76 9 2
10793 Yes, it was a dark period there, just hang on. 1.1494 0.04486 87 76 9 2
10794 My master says I have bad breath, so he puts this on before he walks me. 1.1494 0.04178 87 75 11 1
10795 Some say I’m lucky. But have you ever tried eating out of an upside-down bowl?” 1.1494 0.04178 87 75 11 1
10796 There's something to be said for taking it all in 1.1494 0.04486 87 76 9 2
10797 I thought the saying goes, “give a dog a bone” not a cone 1.1494 0.04178 87 75 11 1
10798 I picked this up at the flea market. 1.1494 0.04486 87 76 9 2
10799 That bowl is so yesterday! 1.1494 0.03844 87 74 13 0
10800 My veterinarian tailored the cone exclusively for handsome dogs who don’t chase things. 1.1494 0.04486 87 76 9 2
10801 And you forgot the red cloaks? 1.1494 0.04486 87 76 9 2
10802 Just like our belly buttons, you having Inny and I have an Outy. 1.1494 0.03844 87 74 13 0
10803 That was before he elections, keep up! 1.1494 0.03844 87 74 13 0
10804 Ok now you open your mouth and i'll get a running start. 1.1494 0.04775 87 77 7 3
10805 It's alright, I have the vaccine. 1.1493 0.04875 67 58 8 1
10806 Oh,I have a great guy on the Upper West Side... 1.1493 0.04875 67 58 8 1
10807 If you look at paintings of QE 1, you'll find that my style is more authentically Elizabethan. 1.1493 0.05318 67 59 6 2
10808 Whatever you do, do NOT go near my person like that. 1.1493 0.04875 67 58 8 1
10809 No, I have no idea why they named me "Dislexia". 1.1493 0.04875 67 58 8 1
10810 What are the chances? 1.1493 0.05318 67 59 6 2
10811 Are you trying to make a political statement? 1.1493 0.04875 67 58 8 1
10812 This is way it protecs my non-shoulders 1.1493 0.03836 67 58 9 0
10813 After today, this male/female cone thing is just a bad joke. 1.1493 0.04875 67 58 8 1
10814 ha! From one lampshade to another. Woof! 1.1493 0.04386 67 57 10 0
10815 I'll lick your wound if you'll scratch mine. 1.1489 0.04267 94 82 10 2
10816 It's reversible---the latest for owners who can't tell the difference. 1.1489 0.04267 94 82 10 2
10817 Woof woof ...my constitutional right to... Woof 1.1489 0.04527 94 83 8 3
10818 It’s the newest fashion, Rufus 1.1489 0.03990 94 81 12 1
10819 Seeing you, I’m realizing my vet is contrarian just for the sake of contrarianism. 1.1486 0.04587 74 64 9 1
10820 So they told me, this way was cone of honor and I still can't lick my butt, go figure. 1.1486 0.04164 74 63 11 0
10821 It's called post-Victorian. Look it up. 1.1486 0.04587 74 64 9 1
10822 Blowing up at me isn't going to help. 1.1486 0.04587 74 64 9 1
10823 Hmmmm! So that's what they mean by an outie! 1.1486 0.04587 74 64 9 1
10824 Think outta the cone, honey 1.1486 0.04587 74 64 9 1
10825 'I'm a back coner, dude!' 1.1486 0.04587 74 64 9 1
10826 Inside out and backwards. How I like it. 1.1486 0.04974 74 65 7 2
10827 Now the lesson is: Keep you nose out of where it doesn't belong. 1.1486 0.04164 74 63 11 0
10828 Looks like you haven't passed the self-awareness test yet. 1.1486 0.04974 74 65 7 2
10829 Sure, it's easier for me to eat, but just think how many more places you can go, if you just go backwards. 1.1486 0.04587 74 64 9 1
10830 I don't care what the "experts" say about "diseases"--it's more comfortable this way. 1.1486 0.04974 74 65 7 2
10831 They told me ‘this will guard your rear.’ But I think it’s a misunderstanding. 1.1486 0.04974 74 65 7 2
10832 Owning it! 1.1486 0.04164 74 63 11 0
10833 The thing is, you still think your mouth is the problem 1.1486 0.04164 74 63 11 0
10834 You see, this way you get much better aerodynamics. 1.1486 0.04587 74 64 9 1
10835 Try as he might, Billy could not pull off the new fashion trend. But he did manage to reverse it. 1.1486 0.04587 74 64 9 1
10836 My vet says gabapentin is a freak flag! 1.1486 0.04587 74 64 9 1
10837 Why be a lamp when you can be a cone 1.1486 0.04587 74 64 9 1
10838 wanna F#*@k? 1.1481 0.04685 81 71 8 2
10839 I'm just trying to broaden my horizons. 1.1481 0.03906 108 94 12 2
10840 I’ve begged enough, Rosie—you’ll either lick ‘em or you won’t. 1.1481 0.05303 81 73 4 4
10841 It’s streamlined. My owner is a sprinter. 1.1481 0.05003 81 72 6 3
10842 Good plan! They can't say you bit that guy now that you're wearing that. 1.1481 0.04343 81 70 10 1
10843 I truly don't see what all the fuss was about. 1.1481 0.04685 81 71 8 2
10844 I know it's easier said than done, but you should learn to turn some things down 1.1481 0.04343 81 70 10 1
10845 Let's agree to disagree and not talk politics. 1.1481 0.04685 81 71 8 2
10846 My collar is on backwards so I can scratch my face. 1.1481 0.03972 81 69 12 0
10847 My vet is so dumb lol. 1.1481 0.04685 81 71 8 2
10848 You may know sign language, but I know fashion! 1.1481 0.04343 81 70 10 1
10849 Your get MSNBC I get FOX There must be a better way. 1.1481 0.04343 81 70 10 1
10850 You must be British! 1.1481 0.03972 81 69 12 0
10851 I don't care if its the latest from Paris, your wearing it inside out. 1.1481 0.04685 81 71 8 2
10852 No, this was intentional on my part. Just trying to make a fashion statement. 1.1481 0.03972 81 69 12 0
10853 Philestine 1.1481 0.04685 81 71 8 2
10854 ... it's a little bit windy today. 1.1481 0.03972 81 69 12 0
10855 Mom’s an astronaut. She says it’s more aerodynamic. 1.1481 0.03972 81 69 12 0
10856 Hey Red, given your limited perspective and blinded loyalty, why are you not happy about the acquittal? 1.1481 0.03972 81 69 12 0
10857 How are you supposed to attend the ballet looking like that? 1.1481 0.03972 81 69 12 0
10858 The preppy look was so last year. 1.1481 0.03972 81 69 12 0
10859 Reused and recycled mine. It's the latest fashion trend: vintage collar accessory. 1.1481 0.04685 81 71 8 2
10860 Are you auditioning for the Lion King too? 1.1481 0.04343 81 70 10 1
10861 You’ve been getting your tips from Qadog again? 1.1481 0.04685 81 71 8 2
10862 Aerodynamics man, you'd love it! 1.1481 0.04685 81 71 8 2
10863 This way, I'm more aerodynamic. @newyorkercartoons @newyorkermag 1.1481 0.04343 81 70 10 1
10864 Jesus Greg! I told you to visit my guy! He is what people call a modern day radical. He even writes right to left! 1.1481 0.04685 81 71 8 2
10865 The inverted cone made Rex feel quite superior to Bingo. 1.1477 0.04133 88 76 11 1
10866 I find these collars are great for picking up chicks at bars !! 1.1477 0.04133 88 76 11 1
10867 An Australian Cattle Dog. Why do you ask? 1.1477 0.04133 88 76 11 1
10868 The latest style 1.1477 0.04438 88 77 9 2
10869 Dog2 protects me, but it doesn't protect you. Dog1 It doesn't protect stupid. 1.1477 0.04438 88 77 9 2
10870 I had it that way for a while. The air drag slowed me down and I couldn’t sniff rears. 1.1477 0.04992 88 79 5 4
10871 I mean, if you're not going to wear it right, why bother? 1.1477 0.04133 88 76 11 1
10872 You should gave pleaded the Fifth! 1.1477 0.04438 88 77 9 2
10873 Karen’s going to be really mad. 1.1477 0.04133 88 76 11 1
10874 I have told you many times that Bloomingdales has the best and newest styles! 1.1477 0.04438 88 77 9 2
10875 It just depends on the type of vet and if they celebrate "backwards day" or not. -Julia Miller, Costa Mesa CA 1.1477 0.04133 88 76 11 1
10876 I wouldn’t call myself the Mohammad Azharuddin of dog fashion, but I think it’ll catch on. 1.1477 0.03804 88 75 13 0
10877 I knocked up the dog next door already so I'm totally infertile-promise! 1.1477 0.04133 88 76 11 1
10878 I'm going diving. 1.1475 0.04578 61 52 9 0
10879 What is: 'One of us is gonna need a new vet,' for a hundred, Alex. 1.1475 0.05141 61 53 7 1
10880 WHY DO YOU ALWAYS GET THINGS BACKWARDS? 1.1475 0.05141 61 53 7 1
10881 Mine's actually from the wireless lamp I just ate. Whenever I bark, my butt lights up! 1.1475 0.04578 61 52 9 0
10882 Muffled again. What now? 1.1474 0.03951 95 82 12 1
10883 We can do this! 1.1474 0.04225 95 83 10 2
10884 Did you read that article about unmasking conspiracies? 1.1474 0.03951 95 82 12 1
10885 She’s special 1.1474 0.04225 95 83 10 2
10886 Ya know, it’s supposed to cover your neck AND your face 1.1474 0.03951 95 82 12 1
10887 They tell me it's the newest trend for 2021. 1.1471 0.04807 68 59 8 1
10888 You can always bring it back to politics these days...its the same thing! 1.1471 0.04327 68 58 10 0
10889 They thought I was smelling myself too much. Go figure! 1.1471 0.05647 68 61 4 3
10890 Ask not what your country can do for you. 1.1471 0.05244 68 60 6 2
10891 I asked for mine - it improves my aerodynamic profile. Plus, it looks cool! 1.1471 0.05244 68 60 6 2
10892 I told you 5G is better. With the antennae down, you don’t hear them coming, but grabbing the mail is way faster. 1.1471 0.04327 68 58 10 0
10893 You still stubbornly stick with po-tay-toe,despite my constant utterance of the correct!! po-tah-toe! Harrumph!!! 1.1471 0.04327 68 58 10 0
10894 Tik Tok hack 1.1471 0.04327 68 58 10 0
10895 It’s the new trend in dog collars. 1.1471 0.04807 68 59 8 1
10896 Whenever the human does it, he says something about the 'tail wagging the dog' 1.1471 0.05244 68 60 6 2
10897 WAF! ... FAW! 1.1471 0.04807 68 59 8 1
10898 Yeah, my hooman acquitted trump. Why won’t the other hill dogs come sniff? 1.1471 0.05647 68 61 4 3
10899 Dog, I'm telling you that flipped-up collar trend ain't ever coming back! 1.1467 0.04530 75 65 9 1
10900 No, when my owners snuck me into the drive-in, there was this tall beautiful warrior princess. 1.1467 0.04530 75 65 9 1
10901 Did you watch "UP"? Cone of Shame, man. Shame. Where as mine is a fashion statement -- hate water drippling down my coat. 1.1467 0.04911 75 66 7 2
10902 When my cone was like yours I could hear the ocean where I met Mabel and we frolicked in the surf like two seraphims welcoming the messianic embrace of the ocean. Now bereft of that sensation, though I smile, I am in spectacular grief... Also, BARK. 1.1467 0.04530 75 65 9 1
10903 I renounced witches, so they let me where it this way. 1.1467 0.05265 75 67 5 3
10904 It's all about the art of accessorizing. 1.1467 0.04911 75 66 7 2
10905 That’s not a way to wear a dog collar 1.1467 0.05597 75 68 3 4
10906 Por Favor? 1.1467 0.04530 75 65 9 1
10907 I bet you didn’t know these were reversible for making out. 1.1467 0.05265 75 67 5 3
10908 I like to think of this as the perversity of inanimate objects. 1.1467 0.04911 75 66 7 2
10909 If you show me yours, I'll show you mine. 1.1467 0.04530 75 65 9 1
10910 So last year, Tammy. 1.1467 0.04911 75 66 7 2
10911 Ha.Call me what you will, but look at where your science got us. 1.1467 0.04530 75 65 9 1
10912 I just like the rush when the wind's behind you. 1.1467 0.05265 75 67 5 3
10913 Ok. You're the Space Station and I'm the rendezvous vehicle. Got it? 1.1467 0.04113 75 64 11 0
10914 If you get in a car and there's an open window... go for it! I didn't get scolded and this still counts towards my two weeks. 1.1467 0.04530 75 65 9 1
10915 Relax Shelly...were going to be outdoors eating leftovers on the patio. Besides, it’s not like it’s Parvo. 1.1467 0.04113 75 64 11 0
10916 CUTE SKIRT! 1.1467 0.04530 75 65 9 1
10917 I’ve got one word for catching cyclists: aero. 1.1467 0.04911 75 66 7 2
10918 I put my thing down, flip it and reverse it. Thanks to facing strong winds. 1.1467 0.04530 75 65 9 1
10919 Keep your six paws distance, Bob. The cat won this round. 1.1467 0.04911 75 66 7 2
10920 Did you get the vaccine? 1.1467 0.04911 75 66 7 2
10921 I'm going to be in a handicap race 1.1463 0.03927 82 70 12 0
10922 Yours must be a real drag. 1.1463 0.04293 82 71 10 1
10923 Wiener you getting out of yours? 1.1463 0.03927 82 70 12 0
10924 You ever just feel like there's something missing? 1.1463 0.04293 82 71 10 1
10925 Just think, in another week you can join the church choir! 1.1463 0.04631 82 72 8 2
10926 My owner is a blowhard. 1.1463 0.04631 82 72 8 2
10927 Not all superheroes wear capes, some wear helmets. 1.1463 0.04293 82 71 10 1
10928 I am what I see 1.1463 0.04631 82 72 8 2
10929 Wow! It really is windy! 1.1463 0.03927 82 70 12 0
10930 I'm tellin ya not many extroverts are left, it's only few of us now... 1.1463 0.03927 82 70 12 0
10931 Well, I know you YOU voted! 1.1463 0.04631 82 72 8 2
10932 I thought we only had innies. 1.1463 0.04293 82 71 10 1
10933 Well,it was easier for him. We are libertarians, you know. 1.1463 0.04631 82 72 8 2
10934 Plandemic over, new directives from Putin 1.1463 0.04293 82 71 10 1
10935 next time ask for the Jacobean 1.1463 0.04293 82 71 10 1
10936 This is how we wear it on the Jersey shore. 1.1463 0.04293 82 71 10 1
10937 My case was pretty bad too, but it's in the rearview mirror now. 1.1461 0.03765 89 76 13 0
10938 It's called the "uncone." You have to ask the vet to put it on when they take the cone off of you. 1.1461 0.04090 89 77 11 1
10939 My master’s team was two down in the bottom of the ninth. 1.1461 0.04391 89 78 9 2
10940 So I said, ‘I’m pretty sure I woke up in a free country,’ and now I can’t go inside! 1.1461 0.04673 89 79 7 3
10941 My lawyer applied for a patent. Intellectual property. Our device protects the shoulder, not the neck. 1.1458 0.03912 96 83 12 1
10942 I scatter Biff,whereas you gather. 1.1458 0.04183 96 84 10 2
10943 This way is so much more aerodynamic. 1.1452 0.05063 62 54 7 1
10944 Well where did yours go to, Quentin, a school just outside of Boston? 1.1452 0.05063 62 54 7 1
10945 DogAnon vs. the “normies” 1.1452 0.05063 62 54 7 1
10946 This way I can still nibble at my empty scrote! 1.1452 0.05063 62 54 7 1
10947 Dude, if you stand on your head, the thing flips back! 1.1452 0.05063 62 54 7 1
10948 It's called being fashion forward. 1.1452 0.05063 62 54 7 1
10949 No... no... I said 'megaphone'" 1.1452 0.05063 62 54 7 1
10950 Don’t worry—I’ll guide you. 1.1449 0.04742 69 60 8 1
10951 How about I’ll lick your back if you’ll lick mine? 1.1449 0.05172 69 61 6 2
10952 I’m an innie. Are you an outie ? 1.1449 0.05172 69 61 6 2
10953 Okay, let’s change now and you be the male. 1.1449 0.04742 69 60 8 1
10954 Homeopathic prevention therapy. 1.1449 0.04742 69 60 8 1
10955 Mine faces the other way because they removed my throat so that I wouldn’t bark. 1.1449 0.05172 69 61 6 2
10956 Really, it’s the big trend in canine fashion. 1.1449 0.05172 69 61 6 2
10957 It’s already taken 7 seconds off my mile splits 1.1449 0.04742 69 60 8 1
10958 " My Woofer is louder than your Tweeter." 1.1449 0.04269 69 59 10 0
10959 If you're an innie, I'm an outie! 1.1449 0.05172 69 61 6 2
10960 HELLO RANDALL!! 1.1449 0.04269 69 59 10 0
10961 Dr. MacDougal is bad to drink. 1.1449 0.04742 69 60 8 1
10962 Do you say "potaaato" or "potato"? 1.1449 0.04742 69 60 8 1
10963 Come stand next to me and you will be greater than. 1.1449 0.04269 69 59 10 0
10964 I told him I'm the Mars Rover and it's my landing gear. 1.1449 0.05172 69 61 6 2
10965 I bet you miss playing chase my tail" OR " So I guess they decided to also adopt a cat after all 1.1449 0.04742 69 60 8 1
10966 Take Advanced Yoga. All will be revealed... 1.1449 0.04269 69 59 10 0
10967 In your case, Walter, the "N" in N95 stands for "nincompoop". Observe - you're supposed to wear your mask like so! 1.1449 0.04269 69 59 10 0
10968 I always knew you were a Victorian 1.1449 0.04742 69 60 8 1
10969 Look, you've got to have some perspective 1.1449 0.04742 69 60 8 1
10970 Tommy you look like a lion and I look like a lizard... where did we go wrong? 1.1449 0.04269 69 59 10 0
10971 I never thought I could meet my soul-mate so quickly. Don't you see we are made one for each other? 1.1449 0.05172 69 61 6 2
10972 I keep telling you...fashion vs. style 1.1449 0.04742 69 60 8 1
10973 All I heard was she thinks you're depressed and something about reverse psychology. 1.1447 0.04474 76 66 9 1
10974 I’m just going thru an introspective phase in my development right now. 1.1447 0.04850 76 67 7 2
10975 I'm trying to bring back the ruff. 1.1447 0.04474 76 66 9 1
10976 Whenever they were looking, I just chewed my paw instead. 1.1447 0.04850 76 67 7 2
10977 My owner got hit by a car, so they decided not to take away a seeing-eye dog's peripheral vision. 1.1447 0.04474 76 66 9 1
10978 Just curious, after this, is there any chance that they could still see us kiss? 1.1447 0.04063 76 65 11 0
10979 Yeah yeah, I know. But I really got caught up in the aerodynamic aspect of it. 1.1447 0.04850 76 67 7 2
10980 Yeah, you're a conservative. Me? I'm a liberal. 1.1447 0.05199 76 68 5 3
10981 I'll scratch your tummy if you scratch mine. 1.1447 0.04063 76 65 11 0
10982 You know, these things are not so bad. They are great at keeping food crumbs from sticking on our fur! 1.1447 0.04850 76 67 7 2
10983 It's a fliter 1.1447 0.04474 76 66 9 1
10984 I have improved my pedigree by burrowing more and biting less. 1.1447 0.04474 76 66 9 1
10985 You playing in "The handmaid's Tale"? 1.1447 0.04474 76 66 9 1
10986 Sure, but it’s much more aerodynamic if you wear it this way. 1.1447 0.04474 76 66 9 1
10987 Well I ain't no collar-back girl... 1.1447 0.05199 76 68 5 3
10988 My guy doesn't actually know how this is supposed to work! 1.1447 0.04850 76 67 7 2
10989 I call it ‘my wimple.’ 1.1447 0.04474 76 66 9 1
10990 Six in one, half a dozen in the other. 1.1447 0.04474 76 66 9 1
10991 I wanted a Tiffany but they gave me an Ikea. 1.1447 0.04063 76 65 11 0
10992 Instead of fashion-forward, I’m thinks fashion-backwards. 1.1447 0.04850 76 67 7 2
10993 Same thing happened to me, funnel-y enough 1.1447 0.04063 76 65 11 0
10994 No, it goes the same way as your tail!” Ben Mastaitis, Loudonville, New Yor 1.1447 0.04474 76 66 9 1
10995 WOOFER and TWEETER 1.1447 0.04474 76 66 9 1
10996 One mans confinement can mean another mans protection...flip the script. 1.1447 0.04850 76 67 7 2
10997 Today years old 1.1447 0.04063 76 65 11 0
10998 I choose to wear mine with pride. 1.1446 0.04245 83 72 10 1
10999 You say lampshade, I say Elizabethan collar! 1.1446 0.04578 83 73 8 2
11000 I'm starting a new trend . Be daring with me! 1.1446 0.04578 83 73 8 2
11001 That's just how fast I was going! 1.1446 0.04245 83 72 10 1
11002 It’s called codependency, and this situation is tailor-made for it. 1.1446 0.03884 83 71 12 0
11003 When I said "Ruff" I ended up with this. 1.1446 0.04578 83 73 8 2
11004 Me male, you female. Unfortunately I’ll have to eat your head to make this work. 1.1446 0.04245 83 72 10 1
11005 I bet you can hear the other dogs making fun of you two towns over, huh? 1.1446 0.03884 83 71 12 0
11006 Tales of the crown worn in great gatsby style 1.1446 0.04578 83 73 8 2
11007 When you punk your cone all the " ******s" are yours. 1.1446 0.04245 83 72 10 1
11008 Because I can't breathe 1.1446 0.04578 83 73 8 2
11009 Björk” (says the dog with the cone in reverse 1.1446 0.04245 83 72 10 1
11010 Headwind? Shmedwind! 1.1446 0.04245 83 72 10 1
11011 My vet is very holistic 1.1444 0.03726 90 77 13 0
11012 It helps when your hooman's are maximalists. 1.1444 0.04345 90 79 9 2
11013 Beginner. 1.1444 0.04345 90 79 9 2
11014 This makes me more aerodynamic, I'm getting 50 more wags per gallon. 1.1444 0.03726 90 77 13 0
11015 Well, now you're just showing off. 1.1444 0.04345 90 79 9 2
11016 No amount of training will overcome the stupidity of the breed. 1.1444 0.04345 90 79 9 2
11017 Luckily my owner didn't budge for the wind-resistant cone." 1.1444 0.04345 90 79 9 2
11018 It's the new spring look. 1.1444 0.04886 90 81 5 4
11019 I couldn't hear the calls for food! 1.1444 0.04345 90 79 9 2
11020 Perspectives 1.1444 0.04345 90 79 9 2
11021 The forecast calls for rain today. 1.1444 0.04345 90 79 9 2
11022 ... and I said, the same reason I don't wear underwear,... 1.1444 0.04345 90 79 9 2
11023 It’s the latest from New York fashion week 1.1444 0.04345 90 79 9 2
11024 So you say it’s an ear infection? Are you sure that’s all? 1.1443 0.04142 97 85 10 2
11025 Hey Ted! I’ll kiss yours if you kiss mine! 1.1443 0.03875 97 84 12 1
11026 But we’re probably more alike than different . Yeah, we probably want the same things. 1.1443 0.04142 97 85 10 2
11027 Look! I ate a lamp and now I look like you!! 1.1443 0.03587 97 83 14 0
11028 The Spring-Summer collection modernized it. Rather smashingly wouldn’t you say ? 1.1443 0.04142 97 85 10 2
11029 I'm channeling Diana Vreeland. 1.1429 0.04198 84 73 10 1
11030 Yes, mother, when he stimulated my cone it turned my world upside down. 1.1429 0.04014 77 66 11 0
11031 I wear my cone like this because I'm a fast Heeler. 1.1429 0.04575 91 81 7 3
11032 Now maybe you'll listen when I preach 1.1429 0.04198 84 73 10 1
11033 Is that a hear-aid? 1.1429 0.04419 77 67 9 1
11034 Oh puppy; try working it as the cone of shamelessness. 1.1429 0.04678 70 61 8 1
11035 My therapist said this would help me from my inner critic. 1.1429 0.04419 77 67 9 1
11036 Oh no! I think I’ve been wearing my Coronavirus Shield Protector wrong. 1.1429 0.04790 77 68 7 2
11037 Lucky for me, my owner has dyslexia and a severe reversal problem. 1.1429 0.04014 77 66 11 0
11038 Its the new style. So, how's the world in there? 1.1429 0.04833 84 75 6 3
11039 This model compliments my collarbone. 1.1429 0.04678 70 61 8 1
11040 Trying to be life of the party? 1.1429 0.04213 70 60 10 0
11041 What's new with you? 1.1429 0.03838 98 85 12 1
11042 In Russia, balls lick you! 1.1429 0.04678 70 61 8 1
11043 Much better milage" 1.1429 0.04419 77 67 9 1
11044 AC meets DC 1.1429 0.04790 77 68 7 2
11045 This way I can keep an eye out for that dreadful "Tail" fellow. 1.1429 0.04678 70 61 8 1
11046 What some help? 1.1429 0.04790 77 68 7 2
11047 Stick your head down the toilet, but make sure no one flushes before you pull it out very slowly 1.1429 0.04014 77 66 11 0
11048 Looks you’re an inney and I’m an outty we should have lots to talk about our surgeries. 1.1429 0.04419 77 67 9 1
11049 That's not a good collar on you! 1.1429 0.04575 91 81 7 3
11050 Of course I ate him headfirst: how else? 1.1429 0.04419 77 67 9 1
11051 You're going about this all wrong. 1.1429 0.02171 84 76 7 1
11052 No, it's my Koan. Think about it. 1.1429 0.04351 98 87 8 3
11053 Oh my dear, that is SO 17th century 1.1429 0.04014 77 66 11 0
11054 My owner is anti-political correctness. I'm not sure he really gets it. 1.1429 0.04419 77 67 9 1
11055 You see, polarization leads to this 1.1429 0.04790 77 68 7 2
11056 Kramer vs Kramer 1.1429 0.03841 84 72 12 0
11057 They gave me two more! 1.1429 0.05102 70 62 6 2
11058 Ti esrever dna ti pilf nwod gnaht ym tup i. 1.1429 0.04300 91 80 9 2
11059 Get it? Sir Francis BACON! 1.1429 0.03841 84 72 12 0
11060 This stops the wound from licking me! 1.1429 0.04198 84 73 10 1
11061 O,M,G. That is like SO 2020. 1.1429 0.04527 84 74 8 2
11062 In my monastery, we're not allowed to speak. 1.1429 0.04300 91 80 9 2
11063 It was easy. I just deleted Twitter. 1.1429 0.04678 70 61 8 1
11064 Gen Z says you have to wear it like this. 1.1429 0.05135 77 69 5 3
11065 Idiot! 1.1429 0.04444 63 54 9 0
11066 It's my owner's fault. 1.1429 0.04198 84 73 10 1
11067 They put it on me so I would stop fellating myself. 1.1429 0.05493 70 63 4 3
11068 "Turn it backwards and call it an Elizabethan Collar" instead of a Pet Cone. 1.1429 0.04987 63 55 7 1
11069 The bowl is half full. 1.1429 0.04678 70 61 8 1
11070 Haven't you seen all those humans with masks beneath their noses? 1.1429 0.04678 70 61 8 1
11071 Cool! Your my kind of girl! 1.1429 0.04678 70 61 8 1
11072 You won't harm yourself through biting, you'll harm yourself WITH biting. 1.1429 0.04198 84 73 10 1
11073 My name is Frost and I have a bite problem 1.1429 0.04527 84 74 8 2
11074 It is the newest thing in bibs 1.1429 0.04678 70 61 8 1
11075 Not only is it more fashionable, it eliminates that annoying echo! 1.1429 0.04198 84 73 10 1
11076 I think I know more about 'cones of shame' than you do, genius! 1.1429 0.04527 84 74 8 2
11077 I find my human’s dyslexia has its benefits. Or You guys must have drank too much, the lampshade is on backwards. 1.1429 0.04419 77 67 9 1
11078 Of course it's on wrong, but I like to challenge myself to figure out how some humans think. My next project may involve glue or the Stock Market. 1.1429 0.03841 84 72 12 0
11079 Man that’s ruff! 1.1429 0.04575 91 81 7 3
11080 How does it feel to be basic? 1.1429 0.05102 70 62 6 2
11081 Right up my street 1.1429 0.04678 70 61 8 1
11082 You're the itch to my scratch 1.1429 0.04444 63 54 9 0
11083 Uh-oh. What did your tushie do? 1.1429 0.05135 77 69 5 3
11084 I Can’t Feel My Face When I’m with You 1.1429 0.04790 77 68 7 2
11085 Tell them it’s your God-given right to chase your own tail! 1.1429 0.05102 70 62 6 2
11086 Praise be!” - “Blessed be the pooch. 1.1429 0.04790 77 68 7 2
11087 It’s all about the accessories this season. 1.1429 0.04790 77 68 7 2
11088 I’ve got an itch that I can’t scratch 1.1429 0.04527 84 74 8 2
11089 I know, my human always seems to do the opposite thing the doctor says to do, but last night they gave me beer, so. 1.1429 0.03689 91 78 13 0
11090 I have it this way so my butt doesn't bite my face. 1.1429 0.04300 91 80 9 2
11091 I’m sure it’s not enjoyable. But is it “dental appointment” bad? 1.1429 0.04300 91 80 9 2
11092 Inside out, outside in 1.1429 0.04678 70 61 8 1
11093 That's soo 2020 Ted 1.1429 0.04419 77 67 9 1
11094 Don’t let the tail wag the dog, man 1.1429 0.04006 91 79 11 1
11095 I support you, kinda! 1.1429 0.04014 77 66 11 0
11096 2years of life and i only now realise how To wear it thanks to tiktok 1.1429 0.04833 84 75 6 3
11097 you clearly haven’t been trained since 2019 1.1429 0.04678 70 61 8 1
11098 Dude, tell your hooman you can’t see with that thing on backwards. 1.1429 0.03841 84 72 12 0
11099 It’s my right to wear it as I please 1.1429 0.05457 77 70 3 4
11100 Have you heard the news? 1.1429 0.05102 70 62 6 2
11101 Being the life of the party ain0AE-4481-8CB4-9CDA4EB00321 1.1413 0.03965 92 80 11 1
11102 It’s times like this I’m happy we don’t share an owner 1.1413 0.04528 92 82 7 3
11103 What’s your sign? 1.1413 0.04256 92 81 9 2
11104 If this is going to work, you need to invert your nose. 1.1413 0.03652 92 79 13 0
11105 Don't you know that's last year's fashion? Sonny Hardman, Atlanta, Ga. 1.1413 0.03652 92 79 13 0
11106 It’s called ‘up-cycling eco-fashion, or something like that 1.1413 0.03965 92 80 11 1
11107 Slam into the wall head first and it will flip the other direction! 1.1412 0.04779 85 76 6 3
11108 It's called fashion. Ever heard of it? 1.1412 0.04152 85 74 10 1
11109 You're doing it wrong. 1.1412 0.03799 85 73 12 0
11110 Nolite te bastardes carborundorum. 1.1412 0.04152 85 74 10 1
11111 Plus I stopped with the "Praise Be" 1.1412 0.04779 85 76 6 3
11112 for Feb 8th issue. My copy came late. Caption: "Come on, dear. Take you pill like a big boy. 1.1412 0.03799 85 73 12 0
11113 It makes them feel better but trust me, it’s just as shameful. 1.1412 0.03799 85 73 12 0
11114 We’re disrupting the veterinary supply marketspace. You can get in on the ground floor, today. 1.1412 0.04476 85 75 8 2
11115 It's because I'm such a fast boy. 1.1412 0.03799 85 73 12 0
11116 They call me MemoRex 1.1412 0.03799 85 73 12 0
11117 'The hills are alive.......' 1.1412 0.05063 85 77 4 4
11118 I say innie, you say outie, let’s call the whole thing off. 1.1412 0.04152 85 74 10 1
11119 Dog 1 "my owners are a bit paranoid" dog 2 "oh mine are into musical theatre" 1.1412 0.03799 85 73 12 0
11120 Seriously, you’ve got to get a wider perspective on that, buddy 1.1412 0.04476 85 75 8 2
11121 Aerodynamics -I got it wind tunnel tested. 1.1410 0.04366 78 68 9 1
11122 Ella Emhoff sent a nice thank-you. 1.1410 0.04366 78 68 9 1
11123 Are you certain you've understood the purpose if our cuff 1.1410 0.03966 78 67 11 0
11124 I bumped into a sick friend. 1.1410 0.04732 78 69 7 2
11125 Just auditioned for the role of the lamp pooch with my agent 1.1410 0.04732 78 69 7 2
11126 I see they’ve put you on a diet! 1.1410 0.04732 78 69 7 2
11127 This is the new fashion. 1.1410 0.04366 78 68 9 1
11128 Now Tenet makes sense. 1.1410 0.04366 78 68 9 1
11129 KRAB! KRAB! 1.1410 0.05072 78 70 5 3
11130 Wow bow. Foow foow. 1.1410 0.04366 78 68 9 1
11131 Spot questioned the decision of going to the dog park during quarantine. 1.1410 0.04732 78 69 7 2
11132 That’s an idiom. The deal isn’t just for back scratches. 1.1410 0.03966 78 67 11 0
11133 And everything is to the back with a little slack 'Cause inside out, it's wiggida wiggida wiggida wack! 1.1410 0.04366 78 68 9 1
11134 It took a few weeks of training, but I am no longer a 'cone head'. 1.1410 0.04366 78 68 9 1
11135 At last,an outie! 1.1410 0.04366 78 68 9 1
11136 What are you trying to do, roll back your mileage? 1.1410 0.03966 78 67 11 0
11137 This is the Valentine’s Day edition 1.1410 0.04366 78 68 9 1
11138 are you wearing yours upside down or am i wearing mine downside up? 1.1410 0.03966 78 67 11 0
11139 spoons – snoops 1.1410 0.04732 78 69 7 2
11140 No one believes in science, technology and innovation anymore do they? 1.1410 0.04732 78 69 7 2
11141 It’s gotta cover ur nose, my g. 1.1410 0.04366 78 68 9 1
11142 For the last time, it's only effective if it covers your nose AND your mouth. 1.1408 0.05033 71 63 6 2
11143 Hey, did Madonna get to be where she is by following the crowd? 1.1408 0.04616 71 62 8 1
11144 My humans just watched Tenet. 1.1408 0.04158 71 61 10 0
11145 It’s bad enough that they had us fixed, and now we cannot even lick our stitches. 1.1408 0.04616 71 62 8 1
11146 I can’t lick my my butthole, but at least I can still feel the toot wind on my face” 1.1408 0.04158 71 61 10 0
11147 I know the CDC said to cover to the nose, but my own expert says this works too. 1.1408 0.05033 71 63 6 2
11148 Hey unfunny cartoon dog the New Yorker cartoon caption contest is really stupid and overrated. 1.1408 0.05418 71 64 4 3
11149 The doodle at the park said they're wearing it like this in Paris, and she should know - she's designer 1.1408 0.04158 71 61 10 0
11150 No soporto el timbre de mi voz" 1.1408 0.04158 71 61 10 0
11151 OK, which one of us has got this wrong.... 1.1408 0.05033 71 63 6 2
11152 Now you know why I'm the fastest squirrel chaser in town. 1.1408 0.05418 71 64 4 3
11153 Your collar is so 80's. 1.1408 0.05033 71 63 6 2
11154 Have you considered alternative medicine? 1.1406 0.05395 64 57 5 2
11155 Oh, that’s so 2020! 1.1406 0.04914 64 56 7 1
11156 Since they put it on, my tail won't wag. Oh yeah? When I try to bark, all I can do is burp. 1.1406 0.04914 64 56 7 1
11157 My vet thinks it’s Opposite Day, he can never think straight. 1.1406 0.04380 64 55 9 0
11158 This is so my stitches don't bite me. 1.1406 0.05395 64 57 5 2
11159 my vet thinks he's Pininfarina 1.1406 0.04914 64 56 7 1
11160 You know the upside down bikini top is really trending these days...you don’t say? 1.1406 0.04380 64 55 9 0
11161 I call it the Windsor Cone. 1.1406 0.04914 64 56 7 1
11162 No, it’s great. I get to wear the cone AND lick my balls. 1.1406 0.05395 64 57 5 2
11163 I think I am doing it wrong 1.1404 0.05274 57 50 6 1
11164 You're doing it all wrong. 1.1404 0.05274 57 50 6 1
11165 Licking is a hoax 1.1400 0.03766 100 87 12 1
11166 But when we did it YOUR way, we just weren't getting ahead. 1.1398 0.03925 93 81 11 1
11167 When in Rome... 1.1398 0.03925 93 81 11 1
11168 I'm trying to break into the novelty cork business. 1.1398 0.03925 93 81 11 1
11169 My Vet threw in a Milkbone 1.1398 0.03925 93 81 11 1
11170 I'll scratch your facial itch if you scratch mine. 1.1398 0.03450 93 82 10 1
11171 Hrumph, Mr. Fashionista 1.1395 0.04106 86 75 10 1
11172 That's nice, Let's call it "Handmaid's Tail." 1.1395 0.04106 86 75 10 1
11173 You're wearing it wrong, honey. 1.1395 0.04726 86 77 6 3
11174 I've ordered the General Tsao's Chicken. Do you want egg rolls or the Egg Drop Soup? 1.1395 0.04106 86 75 10 1
11175 I hear you. The celibate life is ruff. 1.1395 0.04106 86 75 10 1
11176 Your tailor or mine? 1.1392 0.04675 79 70 7 2
11177 They call yours a popped collar. Much too preppy, too rad, too 80s, if you ask me. 1.1392 0.05010 79 71 5 3
11178 A fashion piece for all eras! 1.1392 0.03920 79 68 11 0
11179 My daughter says her friends wear them like this, now 1.1392 0.04314 79 69 9 1
11180 We Are Perfect Couple. Get Married. 1.1392 0.03920 79 68 11 0
11181 You gotta try it, Sam. I'm tellin' ya. It's just as restrictive but makes people think I'm Krypto, the wonder dog. 1.1392 0.04314 79 69 9 1
11182 Things do their job somehow. 1.1392 0.04314 79 69 9 1
11183 It's not so bad, and it makes your owner feel good 1.1392 0.04314 79 69 9 1
11184 Sorry, Bella, you know I'm a mandated reporter, and required to notify the authorities if I witness such abuse! 1.1392 0.03920 79 68 11 0
11185 Once your wound heals the collar becomes a charm at meal time 1.1392 0.04314 79 69 9 1
11186 I always opt for Eton at mealtime. 1.1392 0.05010 79 71 5 3
11187 I’m a spotlight! You are table lamp! 1.1392 0.05010 79 71 5 3
11188 It really is a nice day outside. 1.1392 0.04675 79 70 7 2
11189 ‘Hey, Stuffy, why the blinders, man?’ 1.1392 0.04675 79 70 7 2
11190 Making us look like lamps is a pain in the neck. 1.1389 0.04104 72 62 10 0
11191 At least mine makes my bark louder than yours. 1.1389 0.04556 72 63 8 1
11192 This doesn't make sense. If my barking was too loud, why did they give me a megaphone? 1.1389 0.04967 72 64 6 2
11193 And I think it’s gonna be a long long time before touchdown brings me round to find... 1.1389 0.04556 72 63 8 1
11194 Yeah, I used to wear my collar up, too, when I was a little preppy. 1.1389 0.04556 72 63 8 1
11195 Stage 1 of the cone diet is the hardest 1.1389 0.05346 72 65 4 3
11196 Got mine at PetSmart with a 30 day fitting guarantee. How about you 1.1389 0.04556 72 63 8 1
11197 Pardon me, Sir! I thought we should dress more casually to blend in. 1.1389 0.04967 72 64 6 2
11198 I'm trying out for the lead role, called Pilgrim Dog. I see you playing the lamp. 1.1389 0.04104 72 62 10 0
11199 I ate the previous owner while he was still wearing it! 1.1389 0.04967 72 64 6 2
11200 Hail earthling! I am called Bowser, from Alpha Centauri. 1.1389 0.04556 72 63 8 1
11201 Heads you lose, tails I win! 1.1389 0.04556 72 63 8 1
11202 Who is going to paw yours first, Lady or Lassie? 1.1389 0.04556 72 63 8 1
11203 Ahhh so that’s what’s allegory of the cave is all about 1.1389 0.04104 72 62 10 0
11204 My parents have always been a little backward. 1.1389 0.04556 72 63 8 1
11205 Oh, your owners are Karen and Chad down the street! 1.1389 0.04556 72 63 8 1
11206 Hey Dude...Is that the right way to wear this contraption? 1.1386 0.03731 101 88 12 1
11207 that's not 6 feet apart 1.1386 0.03988 101 89 10 2
11208 I said 'woof', not 'ruff'! 1.1385 0.04317 65 56 9 0
11209 Pilgrim collar - biggest 2020 fashion trend! Get with it, Monica... 1.1385 0.04842 65 57 7 1
11210 It’s how the French Poodles are wearing it. 1.1385 0.04842 65 57 7 1
11211 It's the latest style. 1.1385 0.04842 65 57 7 1
11212 This new style is all the rage in Milan 1.1385 0.04842 65 57 7 1
11213 I've been on a '90s hip-hop binge lately, so I'm totally krossed out. 1.1383 0.03886 94 82 11 1
11214 How's things north of 14th? 1.1383 0.03886 94 82 11 1
11215 Hey buddy, I know you are old but you have to learn this new trick! 1.1379 0.04062 87 76 10 1
11216 I just told him it's Opposite's Day. 1.1379 0.04062 87 76 10 1
11217 I'm not an addict but my therapist think the collar would do me good 1.1379 0.04379 87 77 8 2
11218 'You know Ronald, all the local dogs want to impeach you for that' 1.1375 0.04263 80 70 9 1
11219 I’m on a different diet 1.1375 0.04620 80 71 7 2
11220 Oh no, this is an Elizabethan ruff-ruff, a canine statement of "most rare fashion." And look at you - you finally decided to participate in SETI! 1.1375 0.04620 80 71 7 2
11221 Not cool Boomer. No way I can be your wingman if I can’t do the whole ‘getting to know you’ but-sniff-protocol.” David B. Smith Miami Beach, F 1.1375 0.04620 80 71 7 2
11222 Faster, louder, funnier. 1.1375 0.04263 80 70 9 1
11223 Everything changes when you start managing up. 1.1375 0.04263 80 70 9 1
11224 At least it's not a cat filter! 1.1375 0.04620 80 71 7 2
11225 For me, 2021 has be quite the turn around! 1.1375 0.03875 80 69 11 0
11226 You should have seen the first and second stages. 1.1375 0.03875 80 69 11 0
11227 You get to hide from the world and I don’t!” Linda M.Zehner, Fairfax Station, V 1.1375 0.04263 80 70 9 1
11228 This here’s the cone of pride! 1.1375 0.04263 80 70 9 1
11229 kissing humans is not better than sniffing poop! 1.1375 0.04263 80 70 9 1
11230 Hey man,it’s COVID times, anything can happen. 1.1375 0.04950 80 72 5 3
11231 It's the new trend - fashion over function. 1.1375 0.04263 80 70 9 1
11232 This way we can still smooch 1.1375 0.04263 80 70 9 1
11233 Bro, the cone doesn’t work if you don’t wear it properly. 1.1375 0.04263 80 70 9 1
11234 If living, laughing, and loving is wrong, I don't wanna be right. 1.1375 0.04263 80 70 9 1
11235 I guess we're not getting the usual bones today? 1.1375 0.04263 80 70 9 1
11236 Why are knees and toes always the last to arrive? 1.1375 0.04620 80 71 7 2
11237 Both: Now that’s one horrible lamp. 1.1375 0.04263 80 70 9 1
11238 I see you're familiar with the hazards of popping a Winchester collar. 1.1373 0.04867 51 44 7 0
11239 They don’t call this thing a come of shame for nothing. 1.1373 0.04867 51 44 7 0
11240 This dog is open for business! 1.1370 0.04902 73 65 6 2
11241 My owner’s all about mid-century modern these days 1.1370 0.04497 73 64 8 1
11242 It’s s a better look with my face shape 1.1370 0.04902 73 65 6 2
11243 Your vet must be a recent graduate. 1.1370 0.04052 73 63 10 0
11244 Life is full of incomprehensible dualities and contradictions. You know, yin, yang. So it goes. 1.1370 0.04052 73 63 10 0
11245 My mistress thought it looked better on me this way. 1.1370 0.04052 73 63 10 0
11246 It's a docking dog world. 1.1370 0.04497 73 64 8 1
11247 That is so Retro! Go to VetPet.com for the latest design accessories. 1.1370 0.04052 73 63 10 0
11248 I think this resolves once and for all that innies are better than outies. 1.1370 0.04497 73 64 8 1
11249 I prefer to see where love is. 1.1370 0.04497 73 64 8 1
11250 yes,Eric helped today. 1.1370 0.04902 73 65 6 2
11251 I think your going to need rearview mirrows. 1.1370 0.04052 73 63 10 0
11252 I'm thinking of seeing 'Tenet' yesterday. 1.1370 0.04902 73 65 6 2
11253 Ruff!... Was sooo 2020, Max... 1.1370 0.04052 73 63 10 0
11254 What an odd way to wear a cape! 1.1370 0.04052 73 63 10 0
11255 But if I wear it the right way, you can’t hear me bark. 1.1370 0.04497 73 64 8 1
11256 Woof woof" *barking intensifies 1.1370 0.04902 73 65 6 2
11257 Looks like we're taking the week off. 1.1368 0.04129 95 84 9 2
11258 Do you have an extra copy of the instruction manual? 1.1364 0.04257 66 57 9 0
11259 Fashion Statement. 1.1364 0.04257 66 57 9 0
11260 If you don’t scratch yourself too bad, you get one of these. 1.1364 0.03679 88 76 12 0
11261 Born and bred in Israel. 1.1364 0.04331 88 78 8 2
11262 I just think of it as a fashion statement. 1.1364 0.04019 88 77 10 1
11263 Don't mean to throw you some shade, hut looking good is all that counts. 1.1364 0.04019 88 77 10 1
11264 My Bellybutton dogs: Inny and Outty 1.1364 0.04019 88 77 10 1
11265 'One of us is right OR One of us is wrong.' 1.1364 0.04623 88 79 6 3
11266 What? it's just easier to spot you at Peppa's flashy party 1.1364 0.04019 88 77 10 1
11267 What’s all the fuss about? Wearing this isn’t a big deal. 1.1364 0.04773 66 58 7 1
11268 «I’m telling you, this is the right way to pawtect ourselves” 1.1364 0.04257 66 57 9 0
11269 Pardon? 1.1364 0.04773 66 58 7 1
11270 I renounced butt sniffing! 1.1358 0.04214 81 71 9 1
11271 Let me tell you, I'm a really smart guy 1.1358 0.03830 81 70 11 0
11272 We have a lap pool in our living room. 1.1358 0.03830 81 70 11 0
11273 I call mine the "Great Concavity"... 1.1358 0.04214 81 71 9 1
11274 No, it wasn't surgery. Just got the Audrey Hepburn role in the canine remake of The Nun's Story. 1.1358 0.04565 81 72 7 2
11275 I have freedom of licking! 1.1358 0.03830 81 70 11 0
11276 Want to run off and join the circus? 1.1358 0.04214 81 71 9 1
11277 What gives ? They put yours on wrong! 1.1358 0.04565 81 72 7 2
11278 That style is sooooo 2020! 1.1358 0.03830 81 70 11 0
11279 Hi, you must be the singer, I am the prima ballerina 1.1358 0.04565 81 72 7 2
11280 Ya shoulda seen Marilyn! 1.1358 0.04565 81 72 7 2
11281 WOOF OF WALLSTREET 1.1358 0.04565 81 72 7 2
11282 I get panic attacks if I can't see properly. 1.1358 0.04565 81 72 7 2
11283 Either way I’m still fed up 1.1358 0.04565 81 72 7 2
11284 They're called 'cones of love'. 1.1356 0.05104 59 52 6 1
11285 My human is an aeronautical engineer. 1.1356 0.05648 59 53 4 2
11286 Blessed be the fruit, Ofrick. 1.1354 0.03810 96 84 11 1
11287 When it comes to taking care of me, my owner is religious. 1.1351 0.04440 74 65 8 1
11288 Duh 1.1351 0.04001 74 64 10 0
11289 After your stitches heal it turns into a fashion statement 1.1351 0.04839 74 66 6 2
11290 My groomer’s up on all the latest styles. 1.1351 0.04440 74 65 8 1
11291 Am I positive or negative? 1.1351 0.04001 74 64 10 0
11292 ---but have you seen what they've done to Bobbikins at number 16? 1.1351 0.04440 74 65 8 1
11293 I refuse to see or hear any positions you hold. 1.1351 0.04001 74 64 10 0
11294 Now that we can talk, we don't need these uncomfortable collars to show our party affiliation. 1.1351 0.04001 74 64 10 0
11295 Now we know what happened to Conan O’’Brien!!! 1.1351 0.04839 74 66 6 2
11296 Dude, you are wearing it wrong" "I dissent" 1.1351 0.04440 74 65 8 1
11297 Hey, guy, who tailored your lamp shade? 1.1351 0.04001 74 64 10 0
11298 Oh, I see you went for the “Maximum Bronzer” model. Careful, you don’t want to get too much. I have to go for ultimate shoulder protection in order to avoid the lobster look this year. 1.1351 0.02933 74 67 6 1
11299 Mom always said I had an identical reared apart twin. 1.1351 0.04839 74 66 6 2
11300 Let's get it on! 1.1351 0.04440 74 65 8 1
11301 Haha. Look. We’re both turtle-heading 1.1351 0.04001 74 64 10 0
11302 I specifically asked for my human’s sunscreen 1.1351 0.04001 74 64 10 0
11303 ‘Cone, schmone’ 1.1351 0.04839 74 66 6 2
11304 Don’t think of it as the “Cone of shame”, think of it as the “Cone of mane”.... 1.1348 0.03976 89 78 10 1
11305 I’ll trade...Thanks, but no. 1.1348 0.03641 89 77 12 0
11306 Mine is better than yours. 1.1348 0.03976 89 78 10 1
11307 Collar me a conformist 1.1348 0.03641 89 77 12 0
11308 It's the tail that wags this dog. 1.1348 0.03641 89 77 12 0
11309 I just like that Covid virus to slide right arf my back!” 1.1348 0.04285 89 79 8 2
11310 Poor chap, I see your family didn’t come over by the Mayflower! 1.1348 0.03976 89 78 10 1
11311 Now that's ruff! 1.1348 0.03641 89 77 12 0
11312 Pups these days 1.1348 0.04285 89 79 8 2
11313 Happy Opposite Day. 1.1348 0.04573 89 80 6 3
11314 The echo really annoyed me.” Don Dechman Austin T 1.1346 0.03630 104 91 12 1
11315 Funny running into you again 1.1343 0.05164 67 60 5 2
11316 Listen, you gotta find yourself a more permissive puppy parent! 1.1343 0.04705 67 59 7 1
11317 I just dug under the fence, and presto! 1.1343 0.04705 67 59 7 1
11318 My human's difficulty with instructions does have its downside though when it comes to IKEA. 1.1343 0.04197 67 58 9 0
11319 Yours befits a choleric personality. 1.1343 0.04705 67 59 7 1
11320 It's easier to chew things up when you wear it like this. You on the other hand look like someone out of "The Handmaiden's Tale." 1.1343 0.05976 67 62 1 4
11321 Say anything you want. I'm open for conversation." Audrey A. Piazza The Colony, Texa 1.1343 0.04705 67 59 7 1
11322 Sniff...sniff...My name is Arf. My name is Scarf. 1.1343 0.04705 67 59 7 1
11323 It's a time saver, babe. I'm a dog, you're a bitch!" 1.1343 0.04197 67 58 9 0
11324 I take it things are pretty ruff. . . 1.1343 0.05164 67 60 5 2
11325 I have a long neck, see? 1.1343 0.04705 67 59 7 1
11326 Thinking outside the bark, Fred. 1.1343 0.05164 67 60 5 2
11327 Think not what a collar can do for you but what you can do for the collar. 1.1343 0.04197 67 58 9 0
11328 You want to earn a treat the hard way? 1.1343 0.05164 67 60 5 2
11329 " do you get the dog channel on yours? 1.1341 0.04165 82 72 9 1
11330 Hey! It's 1947 and this is the New Look. 1.1341 0.04512 82 73 7 2
11331 And so I said, "Enough's enough, Larry. I'm reclaiming the cone." 1.1341 0.04165 82 72 9 1
11332 Let me introduce myself: Barkley, undogmatic as always... 1.1341 0.04165 82 72 9 1
11333 Cone we be fwends? 1.1341 0.03787 82 71 11 0
11334 It was never worthwhile anyway 1.1341 0.04165 82 72 9 1
11335 listen,you knew full well that you weren’t guaranteed to be the head of the human centipede 1.1341 0.04512 82 73 7 2
11336 Haven't you ever hurt your head? 1.1341 0.04835 82 74 5 3
11337 Nice hat, but way too retro. 1.1341 0.04512 82 73 7 2
11338 One is never over-dressed or under-dressed with a Little White Cone. 1.1341 0.03787 82 71 11 0
11339 My owner’s better than your owner. He had me Retro-fitted 1.1341 0.03787 82 71 11 0
11340 I don't know about you but I’m full of bright ideas. 1.1341 0.04165 82 72 9 1
11341 the aftermath of "you can copy my work but change it a little" 1.1341 0.03787 82 71 11 0
11342 Just as effective and doesn't slow me down." "You sound like a condom ad." " With the surgery I just had? 1.1341 0.04165 82 72 9 1
11343 My goal is to think outside the cone. 1.1341 0.04512 82 73 7 2
11344 Actually, I landed a role in a sci-fi movie! 1.1341 0.04165 82 72 9 1
11345 Inside out And round and round Upside down Boy, you turn me Inside out And round and round 1.1341 0.04512 82 73 7 2
11346 Finished my 14 days. No more quarantine. Yay! 1.1341 0.04165 82 72 9 1
11347 C’mon Spot, it’s dignity or shame for Dog’s sake. 1.1341 0.04165 82 72 9 1
11348 The Veterinarian said, "It's dissolvable....no need to go back." 1.1341 0.03787 82 71 11 0
11349 If I can keep from chewing for one more week I’ll finally upgrade to the Elizabethan. 1.1341 0.04512 82 73 7 2
11350 My wife is a slut 1.1341 0.04512 82 73 7 2
11351 You look fucking ridiculous. 1.1341 0.04165 82 72 9 1
11352 It's the upgraded aerodynamic cone 1.1341 0.03787 82 71 11 0
11353 Have you heard about topology? 1.1340 0.03477 97 84 13 0
11354 I'll bet you're the life of the party. 1.1340 0.03773 97 85 11 1
11355 Didn't you know? Popping your collar is no longer the pupular thing. 1.1340 0.03477 97 84 13 0
11356 I was just feeling a little bearish today. 1.1333 0.03952 75 65 10 0
11357 Just mention stress, anxiety and your new bulldog of a lawyer. 1.1333 0.05023 60 53 6 1
11358 Apparently I'm just repulsive enough to slip you right out of there, if you want to give it a try 1.1333 0.03952 75 65 10 0
11359 Hove you seen my POOP? 1.1333 0.03952 75 65 10 0
11360 And that way, my tail can't and bite my face. 1.1333 0.04777 75 67 6 2
11361 The real shame is what the cone does to your look.” 1.1333 0.03935 90 79 10 1
11362 I like it better this way. It keeps my collar clean. 1.1333 0.04384 75 66 8 1
11363 I got it at Macy's and it's Aero-dynamic 1.1333 0.03952 75 65 10 0
11364 I won't tell if you don't. 1.1333 0.04384 75 66 8 1
11365 It's an expression of my newfound freedom from the tyranny of the two Vs: veterinarians and vacuums 1.1333 0.04240 90 80 8 2
11366 I’m saving calories this way. 1.1333 0.04384 75 66 8 1
11367 I tried to tell him that this really is not an attraction to get the other cute dog owners to notice him. Maybe I was wrong. 1.1333 0.05023 60 53 6 1
11368 I see you 1.1333 0.03603 90 78 12 0
11369 I wish the AKC would make up their mind on how we should wear these! 1.1333 0.04384 75 66 8 1
11370 Being an Insy is so yesterday 1.1333 0.03952 75 65 10 0
11371 Me dyslexic? Nah. 1.1333 0.05023 60 53 6 1
11372 I am wearing it the right way!... You're talking to my buttocks! 1.1333 0.03952 75 65 10 0
11373 Thank you so much I believe it’s French 1.1333 0.03603 90 78 12 0
11374 Honestly Sir Wigglebottom, have you no shame? 1.1333 0.04426 60 52 8 0
11375 What do you mean I've changed? 1.1333 0.03935 90 79 10 1
11376 My vet is a Justin Bieber fan 1.1333 0.03935 90 79 10 1
11377 I'm not a cat." "...I can see that. 1.1333 0.04240 90 80 8 2
11378 I still can’t lick my butt, but at least it’s more aerodynamic 1.1333 0.03952 75 65 10 0
11379 I'll be a Puritan and you can be a truncated, conical section. 1.1325 0.04118 83 73 9 1
11380 That doesn't enhance your look the way you think it does. 1.1325 0.04461 83 74 7 2
11381 You see, this the difference between freedom and dogdom. 1.1325 0.04461 83 74 7 2
11382 Looking at the world from inside-out has opened a whole new perspective on things for me. 1.1325 0.04118 83 73 9 1
11383 Bucket facing forward is SO last year! 1.1325 0.04118 83 73 9 1
11384 It's the 21st century, dude! 1.1325 0.04118 83 73 9 1
11385 He said it’d be easier to lick peanut butter off this way. 1.1325 0.04118 83 73 9 1
11386 My veterinarian also stitches handcrafted lampshades. 1.1325 0.03744 83 72 11 0
11387 !fooW (Am unable to type a reversed "f," which will complete the caption.) 1.1325 0.04461 83 74 7 2
11388 I'm making a statement to prove to the humans that I can independently choose to only scratch myself when they're not looking. 1.1325 0.03744 83 72 11 0
11389 It's the CoVid stupid! 1.1325 0.04118 83 73 9 1
11390 It doesn't work so well, but at least it's different. 1.1325 0.04118 83 73 9 1
11391 It allows me to chase cars much more efficiently. 1.1324 0.05091 68 61 5 2
11392 It's just unstill my cape is back from the cleaners. 1.1324 0.05091 68 61 5 2
11393 No, I do good. 1.1324 0.05091 68 61 5 2
11394 Yes, I can help even you unlock your inner super powers. 1.1324 0.04140 68 59 9 0
11395 Mi flea, su flea 1.1324 0.04640 68 60 7 1
11396 It's called the bible. 1.1324 0.04140 68 59 9 0
11397 .. been getting 2x returns on my zoomies! #diamondpaws 1.1324 0.04640 68 60 7 1
11398 Everyone’s wearing them like this. 1.1319 0.03566 91 79 12 0
11399 One of us is having a ruff day 1.1319 0.03894 91 80 10 1
11400 My tail is short? Well, they made your tail look like a pig's. Who's laughing now.... 1.1316 0.03903 76 66 10 0
11401 I got my lampshade from Anthropologie. It was expensive but I guess I'm just a slave to high fashion. 1.1316 0.04329 76 67 8 1
11402 The face mask under nose for dogs 1.1316 0.03903 76 66 10 0
11403 and no one had told me there was lipstick on my teeth all day. I was so embarrassed" 1.1316 0.03903 76 66 10 0
11404 The collar-of-shame is so 7 years ago. It’s all about pride now.” 1.1316 0.04717 76 68 6 2
11405 AND IT'S AERODYNAMIC AND I CAN LICK MYSELF ANYWHERE I WANT 1.1316 0.04717 76 68 6 2
11406 First Co-vid 19, now damn Cholera! 1.1316 0.04329 76 67 8 1
11407 Ah, this way the political jabbering on TV isn’t quite so amplified, Rover. You should give it a try! 1.1316 0.03903 76 66 10 0
11408 What happened to your tail? 1.1316 0.04717 76 68 6 2
11409 So what if my Vet is dyslexic! 1.1316 0.04717 76 68 6 2
11410 frab,farb,farb ot ouy oot 1.1316 0.04329 76 67 8 1
11411 I’ve almost solved the mind-body problem 1.1316 0.03903 76 66 10 0
11412 I win. At the end of the day it's about aerodynamics. 1.1316 0.03903 76 66 10 0
11413 Doctor said it should go over my head, but I think I got it. 1.1316 0.04329 76 67 8 1
11414 This is NOT the right way to wear a mask 1.1316 0.03903 76 66 10 0
11415 My e-collar, my choice 1.1316 0.04329 76 67 8 1
11416 I see you have the new Trump model cone. 1.1313 0.03412 99 86 13 0
11417 Bow wow wow quid pro quo? 1.1311 0.04358 61 53 8 0
11418 My megaphone amplifies a different noise 1.1310 0.04072 84 74 9 1
11419 It's really just an aerodynamic thing. Plus,if I ever try and back out of somewhere and my cone gets caught it really gets off my autoerotic asphyxiation thing. Super great all round,really. 1.1310 0.04072 84 74 9 1
11420 I think my owners dislexic" Bill Kaufner Oakland, Ca 1.1310 0.04410 84 75 7 2
11421 And now, it's a fashion statement! 1.1310 0.04410 84 75 7 2
11422 lol ur just like a turkey cant look up lol 1.1310 0.03703 84 73 11 0
11423 Now - with the new fashion trend - it is so easy to spot a true Lady !!! ? 1.1310 0.04072 84 74 9 1
11424 This is just to cover my grotesquely long neck. 1.1310 0.03703 84 73 11 0
11425 It’s no wonder you’ve got a chill. Your windmill is backward. 1.1310 0.04072 84 74 9 1
11426 A phony tale 1.1310 0.04072 84 74 9 1
11427 Yea it was actually really simple, I just inversed the cone. But I think it sends a strong statement, ya know? 1.1310 0.04072 84 74 9 1
11428 I’m hoping 2021 will be opposite year 1.1310 0.04072 84 74 9 1
11429 I've been hearing about Raymond Loewy's streamlining legacy. 1.1304 0.04084 69 60 9 0
11430 I've regained my doggie appeal - but I still itch and I can't scratch. 1.1304 0.04084 69 60 9 0
11431 Hi! Your “splaycone” is attractive and so beautifully done. Who’s your designer? 1.1304 0.04084 69 60 9 0
11432 Their real goal is to train you to their will absolutely. 1.1304 0.04084 69 60 9 0
11433 Unity, lets help each other! 1.1304 0.04084 69 60 9 0
11434 Look at the bright side, if I turn around, it’ll almost smell as good as the real thing! 1.1304 0.03530 92 80 12 0
11435 You always get things backward. 1.1304 0.04576 69 61 7 1
11436 A turned up collar is so last season 1.1304 0.04084 69 60 9 0
11437 I suppose you think 'Frontline' works too. You should really get online and do some research. 1.1304 0.04084 69 60 9 0
11438 Ehi Dude, you just put it in the wrong way! We are SuperDogs not table lamps! 1.1304 0.04576 69 61 7 1
11439 different points of view 1.1304 0.04576 69 61 7 1
11440 Just wait until they go back to the office! 1.1304 0.04084 69 60 9 0
11441 You know, Scout, you can really just flip about anything around nowadays 1.1304 0.04576 69 61 7 1
11442 Before you say something, I video call my vet today; he said it looks like I'm getting better, so I can do whatever I want 1.1304 0.04576 69 61 7 1
11443 Thankfully my owner is directionally challenged. 1.1299 0.04276 77 68 8 1
11444 If it’s cool you’re after, à la James Dean, Paul Newman, or Tom Cruise, have you considered a pair of shades to complete the look? 1.1299 0.04072 77 70 5 2
11445 The Boss says I didn’t lick myself raw and I don’t have to wear this collar on my face! 1.1299 0.04276 77 68 8 1
11446 You’re lucky, you can bite through yours! 1.1299 0.04276 77 68 8 1
11447 What’s wrong with this picture? 1.1299 0.04276 77 68 8 1
11448 Stop barking and embrace the vibrations of street noise 1.1299 0.04276 77 68 8 1
11449 Are you as dismayed about being spayed? 1.1299 0.03856 77 67 10 0
11450 @mpaigelivingston Fashion, is about taking chances. let’s get this W 1.1299 0.03856 77 67 10 0
11451 Let's make a date, but it'll be more fun if we wait a few weeks. 1.1294 0.04671 85 77 5 3
11452 Just tell them, same difference. 1.1294 0.04027 85 75 9 1
11453 hurry! sniff my butt before we're forced inside 1.1294 0.04361 85 76 7 2
11454 Catskill dry fly vs. Tenkara 1.1294 0.04027 85 75 9 1
11455 OMG - an outtie for my innie! 1.1294 0.04027 85 75 9 1
11456 Have you learned nothing from 2020? You have to turn it into a fashion statement. 1.1294 0.04361 85 76 7 2
11457 Because I'm Harry, I wear a Meghan, Duchess of Sussex, collar. 1.1294 0.04361 85 76 7 2
11458 Now we can plug in!!! 1.1294 0.03662 85 74 11 0
11459 I'll lick your face if you chew on me--anywhere is okay. 1.1294 0.04671 85 77 5 3
11460 You are such the Fashionista!!! 1.1294 0.03662 85 74 11 0
11461 You see, this way I feel more compatible with you. 1.1294 0.03662 85 74 11 0
11462 The kids call this a “lewk.” 1.1294 0.03662 85 74 11 0
11463 Are you related to that Doge-dog? Heard he was also going to the moon... 1.1294 0.03662 85 74 11 0
11464 ... and instead of six wives I have six scars I can’t bite at. 1.1290 0.03815 93 82 10 1
11465 Yep, I'm pretty sure it was a shuttlecock machine! You must have just fallen in backwards. 1.1290 0.04110 93 83 8 2
11466 nice cone, mine’s better though 1.1290 0.05385 62 56 4 2
11467 Yes, my name is Enoc 1.1287 0.03896 101 90 9 2
11468 Yes, I'm making a difference. Yes, the look in your eyes proves I did. Soon it'll be a trend. 1.1286 0.04030 70 61 9 0
11469 The vaccine really turns around. The vaccine really turns things around. 1.1286 0.04030 70 61 9 0
11470 You don't have your cone on properly 1.1286 0.04514 70 62 7 1
11471 Awesome popped collar, Bro!. 1.1286 0.04514 70 62 7 1
11472 Cool collar, right, Ed? It’s holistic. 1.1286 0.04030 70 61 9 0
11473 Just between you and I,I 1.1286 0.04952 70 63 5 2
11474 I don't believe in social distancing or masks... 1.1286 0.04514 70 62 7 1
11475 It's the latest fashion 1.1286 0.04030 70 61 9 0
11476 It’s my new collar - a modest personal contribution to the circular economy. 1.1286 0.04030 70 61 9 0
11477 I'm recovering from training as a human-look-at-me dog. 1.1286 0.04514 70 62 7 1
11478 You’ve got yours on wrong. 1.1286 0.04514 70 62 7 1
11479 just look at the bright side, i made it through 1.1286 0.04514 70 62 7 1
11480 What Cone of Shame? 1.1282 0.03810 78 68 10 0
11481 No, you're wearing it wrong. 1.1282 0.04224 78 69 8 1
11482 If I am an inner, you are an outer. 1.1282 0.04602 78 70 6 2
11483 When you wear your collar like that, you have to walk backwards for it to work right. Sandra Stedinger, MD jgauthier4@san.rr.com 1.1282 0.04224 78 69 8 1
11484 Laugh all you want, it’s chienne couture spring collection. 1.1282 0.04224 78 69 8 1
11485 The Handmaid’s Tail, you say? 1.1282 0.03810 78 68 10 0
11486 You never know what a husky fit can do. 1.1282 0.04602 78 70 6 2
11487 I flip my collar and lick my wounds between these white collar jobs. 1.1282 0.03810 78 68 10 0
11488 I was escorting my blind owner and he wanted to be the life of the party. 1.1282 0.03810 78 68 10 0
11489 Fashion dictates I wear it this way! 1.1282 0.04224 78 69 8 1
11490 Freedom, Jesus and the American Way! 1.1282 0.04224 78 69 8 1
11491 It's a look! 1.1282 0.04224 78 69 8 1
11492 Can I be the Ying to your Yang? 1.1282 0.03810 78 68 10 0
11493 « No personality ! » 1.1282 0.03810 78 68 10 0
11494 the truth is, that once you discover what it means to be truly aligned with someone, it’s hard to go back." s 1.1282 0.03810 78 68 10 0
11495 Ruff day, Sir Leonard? Pardon me, but you’re wearing it backwards. 1.1282 0.04224 78 69 8 1
11496 In Olde England they called it a ruff! 1.1282 0.03810 78 68 10 0
11497 My owner is a different breed. 1.1279 0.03982 86 76 9 1
11498 It's the cone of stylin'. 1.1279 0.03982 86 76 9 1
11499 I say there aren't enough surfaces to rub our heads on! 1.1279 0.03982 86 76 9 1
11500 It's just not fair...I thought they vetted me ahead of time! 1.1279 0.03623 86 75 11 0
11501 'It's one of the hazards of being a Guide Dog...' 1.1279 0.03623 86 75 11 0
11502 The dogs bark but a caravan of camels moves forward 1.1279 0.03623 86 75 11 0
11503 Take a cold shower. This fashion statement comes with celibacy. 1.1279 0.03807 86 78 6 2
11504 Innies rule 1.1279 0.04312 86 77 7 2
11505 Is this what the humans call a ‘walk of shame’? 1.1279 0.03982 86 76 9 1
11506 Now that really is cutting off your head to spite it’s face ! 1.1277 0.03777 94 83 10 1
11507 My mistress is fashion forward. 1.1277 0.04068 94 84 8 2
11508 My Mom told me it is the latest on the New York fashion scene. It’s all about how you wear it though. 1.1277 0.03777 94 83 10 1
11509 I'm telling you, next time your at the vet, ask them to put your cone on backwards. You'll thank me later. 1.1270 0.04229 63 55 8 0
11510 They say facing it that way is bad for wellness. 1.1270 0.05303 63 57 4 2
11511 I’m not properly wearing mine? You look like Michael Vick’s living room lamp. 1.1270 0.04229 63 55 8 0
11512 When you try reflecting the line across the y-axis 1.1268 0.03977 71 62 9 0
11513 Hey. If you want, I can show you how to turn yours around too! 1.1268 0.03977 71 62 9 0
11514 my problem is greater then your problem. 1.1268 0.04454 71 63 7 1
11515 More peaceful? Sure. But there was no accessibility. 1.1268 0.04454 71 63 7 1
11516 The reverb is suffocating 1.1268 0.03977 71 62 9 0
11517 I told the vet I was more concerned about appearance 1.1268 0.03977 71 62 9 0
11518 We found love in a hopeless place 🖤. 1.1268 0.04454 71 63 7 1
11519 Bark, Bark 1.1268 0.04454 71 63 7 1
11520 I just got it. It's supposed to lower my carbon emissions 50 percent." 1.1266 0.03765 79 69 10 0
11521 There's more than one thing you can do with a fire hydrant. 1.1266 0.03765 79 69 10 0
11522 Loading... 1.1266 0.03765 79 69 10 0
11523 I did it myself! A pair of scissors, a glue stick and voilå, I'm cute. 1.1266 0.04174 79 70 8 1
11524 It's the new doggy style... 1.1266 0.04546 79 71 6 2
11525 Fooled ya. 1.1266 0.03765 79 69 10 0
11526 What can I say- my owner is dyslexic 1.1266 0.04174 79 70 8 1
11527 what do you think you are a priest or something? 1.1266 0.04174 79 70 8 1
11528 You're exactly what I'm looking for in a personal injury lawyer: an ambulance chaser AND an ass-licker. 1.1266 0.03765 79 69 10 0
11529 The stars are aligned for a hard docking. 1.1266 0.04174 79 70 8 1
11530 Did you lick your sausage too? 1.1266 0.04174 79 70 8 1
11531 How many barks do you have? 1.1266 0.04174 79 70 8 1
11532 Upside down, that’s a conespiracy 1.1266 0.04546 79 71 6 2
11533 I can tell by the collar that you’re a millennial. Maybe you should try a middle part. 1.1266 0.04174 79 70 8 1
11534 They’re trying to scare you into wearing it that way. Can’t you see—Hillary, Tom Hanks, the liberal elite? Don’t be a sheep, Max! 1.1266 0.04546 79 71 6 2
11535 Well, I can honestly say, I’ve considered all things. 1.1266 0.04174 79 70 8 1
11536 A scientific breakthrough makes it easier to distinguish between pets with inner and outer belly buttons 1.1264 0.03584 87 76 11 0
11537 Red collar in the morning 1.1264 0.03939 87 77 9 1
11538 It prevents drowning when you're left in the backyard during a storm. 1.1264 0.03939 87 77 9 1
11539 You look like a handmaid, I robbed one. 1.1264 0.03939 87 77 9 1
11540 You know what they say,opposites attract" 1.1264 0.03939 87 77 9 1
11541 It's the new fashion 1.1264 0.03392 87 78 8 1
11542 Yep, and that rubber finger... down my throat! 1.1264 0.04265 87 78 7 2
11543 Trust me, it's far easier to see this way. 1.1264 0.03939 87 77 9 1
11544 I like your new necklace! 1.1264 0.03939 87 77 9 1
11545 My owner thinks it is to keep food off my coat while I'm eating. 1.1263 0.04027 95 85 8 2
11546 Why do I have to beg you to just tell me how to invert this damn thing. I 1.1263 0.04296 95 86 6 3
11547 Virginia Woof, it’s time you let go of all the shame and learn how to self-love. 1.1262 0.03566 103 91 11 1
11548 I stuck my head out the car window while we were on the bypass. 1.1250 0.03925 72 63 9 0
11549 It's not exactly easy to do it this way, but I'll take what I can get. 1.1250 0.03897 88 78 9 1
11550 Bite myself? No, this is a case of stopping man from biting dog. 1.1250 0.03546 88 77 11 0
11551 why did you tell them you love it when I blow in your ear? 1.1250 0.04459 56 49 7 0
11552 That new hairdresser sure knows how to do a blow dry. 1.1250 0.05734 56 51 3 2
11553 I got my collar online, where did you get yours. 1.1250 0.04124 80 71 8 1
11554 I chased a rabbit down a hole and came out the other side with a new style of neckwear P.J. Pendergrass Tulsa, OK 1.1250 0.03534 104 92 11 1
11555 My people are fashion backward. 1.1250 0.04725 64 57 6 1
11556 You don't get the deal on being a goo' boy, do you. 1.1250 0.03534 104 92 11 1
11557 One day, the light will just go on for you. 1.1250 0.03925 72 63 9 0
11558 GOP. Trump party 1.1250 0.04395 72 64 7 1
11559 Lock and Key? 1.1250 0.05136 56 50 5 1
11560 Parlez-vous français 1.1250 0.04395 72 64 7 1
11561 Left dog: "buddy the crocodile is supposed to eat you (<), you're not supposed to eat him(>) 1.1250 0.04395 72 64 7 1
11562 They tell me that wearing it this way is a fashion statement. 1.1250 0.03721 80 70 10 0
11563 I heard Dr. Fauci said to cover your nose and mouth, so why are you covering your ears? 1.1250 0.04492 80 72 6 2
11564 It brings in better reception this way. 1.1250 0.04167 64 56 8 0
11565 It's the new Edwardian look. 1.1250 0.04124 80 71 8 1
11566 It's called "the New Look"! 1.1250 0.03925 72 63 9 0
11567 Sorry too many consequential differences! 1.1250 0.03925 72 63 9 0
11568 Man, life's better on the flip side 1.1250 0.04725 64 57 6 1
11569 Why did'nt you tell the family that they were putting the collar on backwards 1.1250 0.03925 72 63 9 0
11570 t's called a headband, very chic 1.1250 0.03925 72 63 9 0
11571 I'll gnaw yours if you gnaw mine. 1.1250 0.04459 56 49 7 0
11572 My vet said the most recent recommendation is to wear it backwards. 1.1250 0.04167 64 56 8 0
11573 Freedom!! 1.1250 0.03721 80 70 10 0
11574 just run your fastest 1.1250 0.04820 72 65 5 2
11575 Didn't you hear? Polka dots are out and backwards cones are in. 1.1250 0.04820 72 65 5 2
11576 My owner likes lamp shades. 1.1250 0.03925 72 63 9 0
11577 Dude, looks like you got stuck with the 'The Cone of Shame' model. Tell your family you want this cool ‘Super Dogs Fly’ number! 1.1250 0.04820 72 65 5 2
11578 Wearing this way lays a burden on me. 1.1250 0.03702 96 85 10 1
11579 Wow! Once again, my feeders are clueless!" JK Fuller Genoa, NV 1.1250 0.03546 88 77 11 0
11580 LET'S SEE WHO GET'S SICK! 1.1250 0.04518 88 80 5 3
11581 My theory is this her passive-aggressive way of punishing us for what we did to that $2,000 pair of shoes. 1.1250 0.04820 72 65 5 2
11582 What do you mean my neck gauge is showing that I’m running low? 1.1250 0.03721 80 70 10 0
11583 I’m a lamppost. What are you? 1.1250 0.04395 72 64 7 1
11584 So looks like there is no right or wrong in the world after all! Also,have u tried walking with ur flipped cone? 1.1250 0.04124 80 71 8 1
11585 I'm a cone-half-full kind of dog. 1.1250 0.04124 80 71 8 1
11586 Next time, Bert, just shame them before they shame you. 1.1250 0.04492 80 72 6 2
11587 Everyone does it 1.1250 0.03925 72 63 9 0
11588 My owners are so Bohemian, they wouldn't let me wear the thing, if it wasn't the turtleneck style 1.1250 0.04124 80 71 8 1
11589 Let me guess your human is part of the misguided“under” 🧻 camp… 1.1250 0.03897 88 78 9 1
11590 Day in, Day out. 1.1237 0.03517 97 88 7 2
11591 Was your tail wagging you? 1.1237 0.03948 97 87 8 2
11592 you were going right and left and crashed! 1.1237 0.03666 97 86 10 1
11593 That totally works, too. 1.1237 0.03666 97 86 10 1
11594 Editor: "One of us is ass-backwards, or is it bass-ackwards?" 1.1236 0.03855 89 79 9 1
11595 I heard you a mile away. Could you give a lick where the rain doesn't go? 1.1236 0.03508 89 78 11 0
11596 Ok, so I got greedy ... I did t mean to eat the whole lamp, but there you go ... you can’t see the lead yet, can you? 1.1236 0.03508 89 78 11 0
11597 I call it the Nahtebazile collar. 1.1236 0.03855 89 79 9 1
11598 It figures. He once put an enema in my water dish. 1.1236 0.03508 89 78 11 0
11599 From cone to, "Let's bone." 1.1235 0.04076 81 72 8 1
11600 It’s so my “rights” aren’t violated! 1.1235 0.04438 81 73 6 2
11601 Your collar is SO last Thursday! 1.1235 0.04076 81 72 8 1
11602 I follow the Kardashians on Instagram. 1.1235 0.04438 81 73 6 2
11603 Who’d’ve thought this could work as a DIY lamp costume! 1.1235 0.03678 81 71 10 0
11604 I would rather be scratching off fleas than wearing this clerical collar. 1.1235 0.03678 81 71 10 0
11605 What part can’t you get? 1.1235 0.04438 81 73 6 2
11606 Just have to be positive. 1.1235 0.03678 81 71 10 0
11607 I got mine at a party. 1.1235 0.04076 81 72 8 1
11608 I told them "You scratch my back and I'll scratch yours" and now this .... 1.1235 0.04076 81 72 8 1
11609 Haven't you heard? According to Douge magazine wearing cones backwards is in for the spring season. 1.1235 0.03678 81 71 10 0
11610 That’s not how you wear a cone! It goes over your neck... 1.1235 0.04076 81 72 8 1
11611 you have to show off don’t you Harry 1.1235 0.04438 81 73 6 2
11612 You got a cone I got conned” 1.1235 0.04076 81 72 8 1
11613 Think outside of the circle, bro! 1.1235 0.04438 81 73 6 2
11614 I'm challenging my inner superhero. 1.1233 0.03875 73 64 9 0
11615 You gotta look to the future- look like a toilet bowl or look like a prince !” J. Kinsey - Toronto, ONT Kinseyjody33@gmail.com 1.1233 0.03875 73 64 9 0
11616 With this aerodynamic collar I get to three more hydrants per block! 1.1233 0.04756 73 66 5 2
11617 How’d you do that?! 1.1233 0.03875 73 64 9 0
11618 This prevents me from being bitten by my own butt. 1.1233 0.03875 73 64 9 0
11619 You gotta get an owner that’s blind! 1.1233 0.04338 73 65 7 1
11620 Oh no-- not you again. 1.1233 0.03875 73 64 9 0
11621 See Bernie? Reverse psychology always works. 1.1233 0.04338 73 65 7 1
11622 I take it your human wears a chinstrap, not a mask. 1.1233 0.03875 73 64 9 0
11623 Streamlined at last. I'm ready to resume my career as the Canine Cannonball. 1.1233 0.04338 73 65 7 1
11624 If you scratch my back I'll bite yours. 1.1233 0.04338 73 65 7 1
11625 My vet found a much better way to wear a collar. 1.1233 0.04338 73 65 7 1
11626 Chacun a son gout... 1.1233 0.04756 73 66 5 2
11627 I got a new conversation starter. 1.1233 0.03875 73 64 9 0
11628 Well one of us is going to have to change. 1.1233 0.03875 73 64 9 0
11629 Everybody in the better kennels wears them this way! 1.1231 0.04107 65 57 8 0
11630 IT'S A DOG'S LIFE AND THESE MASKS PROVE IT! 1.1231 0.04107 65 57 8 0
11631 After that trip to Paris I feel that I'm more a fashion statement than just a dog 1.1231 0.04655 65 58 6 1
11632 I am free from side effects! 1.1231 0.04655 65 58 6 1
11633 Nice thing is that it is reversible... you will get a lot of use out of this 1.1224 0.06276 49 45 2 2
11634 Hey buddy, I think this should be the right way to wear a mask. 1.1224 0.03631 98 87 10 1
11635 Remnants of 2020 dude! 1.1222 0.04129 90 81 7 2
11636 Obviously your owner is a Trump supporter 1.1222 0.04129 90 81 7 2
11637 Lucky me.my owner is lesdykit 1.1222 0.03815 90 80 9 1
11638 Somebody must have spiked the punch. 1.1222 0.03815 90 80 9 1
11639 Your tag is showing. 1.1222 0.03815 90 80 9 1
11640 I find wearing it this way makes a fashion statement. 1.1222 0.03815 90 80 9 1
11641 Don’t bite yourself, but make it fashion 1.1222 0.03815 90 80 9 1
11642 so much for nothing 1.1222 0.03815 90 80 9 1
11643 Dude, you're wearing your collar backwards! 1.1220 0.04717 82 75 4 3
11644 I prefer the downlighter look 1.1220 0.04029 82 73 8 1
11645 Mine is on solar punk style! 1.1220 0.04387 82 74 6 2
11646 It's called FAH-shion. 1.1220 0.04029 82 73 8 1
11647 Ruff?" "No, I prefer Ffur. 1.1220 0.03636 82 72 10 0
11648 Forward Facing Cones are no longer in style. 1.1220 0.04029 82 73 8 1
11649 I tried to catch a smell upwind like we used to do 1.1220 0.03636 82 72 10 0
11650 There seems to be a breeze...somewhere. 1.1220 0.03636 82 72 10 0
11651 It's called the lion mane trend." "... 1.1216 0.04695 74 67 5 2
11652 How's the peripheral vision thing working for you? 1.1216 0.04282 74 66 7 1
11653 Exactly. Just brilliant! 1.1216 0.03825 74 65 9 0
11654 Imagine there is a bone on the other side of a wall, then fetch it. 1.1216 0.04282 74 66 7 1
11655 Totally,we need our alone time. Sick of the screens. 1.1216 0.03825 74 65 9 0
11656 I think we have the same lawyer" 1.1216 0.04695 74 67 5 2
11657 No matter what I say, you'll find a way to twist it to your satisfaction. 1.1216 0.04282 74 66 7 1
11658 You know Lassie didn’t have fleas. 1.1216 0.03825 74 65 9 0
11659 I always knew you were an outsider and not in the IN crowd! 1.1216 0.04282 74 66 7 1
11660 are you a sick dog? oh nooo I'm the queen's dog 1.1216 0.03825 74 65 9 0
11661 Trust me on this, you have to put it like that! It's the Aerodynamics! 1.1216 0.04282 74 66 7 1
11662 That's how they do it in Paris 1.1216 0.04695 74 67 5 2
11663 That last hickey didn’t go over so well on social media 1.1216 0.03825 74 65 9 0
11664 It itches the other way around. 1.1216 0.04282 74 66 7 1
11665 masks, shmasks 1.1212 0.04048 66 58 8 0
11666 Harper's Bazaar says that the up-turned collar is so last year, but I still say it brings out your high cheekbones, so find your style and stick with it. 1.1212 0.03424 66 59 7 0
11667 It may be a new look, but are your sure it looks good on you? 1.1212 0.04048 66 58 8 0
11668 I'm going to the party as a Pilgrim. 1.1212 0.04048 66 58 8 0
11669 My human doesn't understand how to put on his más either! 1.1212 0.05071 66 60 4 2
11670 Hey dude. Who’s your tailor! 1.1209 0.04086 91 82 7 2
11671 This new 2021 collar is designed to repeal Quanon conspiracy theories! 1.1209 0.03775 91 81 9 1
11672 What’s latest Cecil? I’m taking Gurus advice on broadening my horizon. 1.1209 0.03436 91 80 11 0
11673 ...it's the Cone of Fame. 1.1209 0.04086 91 82 7 2
11674 Let’s switch. You be Ying now. That way we’ll keep ‘em even more confucious. 1.1207 0.04315 58 51 7 0
11675 Trump's dog wore his like that. You must be a terrorist. 1.1205 0.03595 83 73 10 0
11676 Ever diligent, Rufus decided to proceed with sniffing both ends thus confirming his initial analysis: he did not wish to be friends. 1.1205 0.03595 83 73 10 0
11677 Aye! I'm a backwards ass bitch. 1.1205 0.04336 83 75 6 2
11678 Mine is fashion, daaarling. 1.1205 0.04336 83 75 6 2
11679 I don’t know Carl, ever since I sold more treats it just kinda happened 1.1205 0.03595 83 73 10 0
11680 And then I said, tune in Tokyo! 1.1205 0.03983 83 74 8 1
11681 No, I didn't have surgery - my owner is a bit clingy. 1.1200 0.03562 100 89 10 1
11682 Tsk, Tsk, Tsk. I'm sorry you got the full treatment, boy. I got happy. 1.1200 0.03778 75 66 9 0
11683 How long has it been since your last aggression? 1.1200 0.03778 75 66 9 0
11684 Well I still can't reach it. Maybe if we cooperate we can defeat this evil scheme! 1.1200 0.03778 75 66 9 0
11685 Because I'm Rover and you're OfRover; that's the way things work here girlie. Now, go fetch my ball. 1.1200 0.04228 75 67 7 1
11686 selma and harry cohen discussing where to go for 2021 VALENTINES DAY 1.1200 0.04228 75 67 7 1
11687 Some people have a narrow mindset. Which means they can't see what's beauty is around them. 1.1200 0.03778 75 66 9 0
11688 It’s for mastiff neck Goodman 1.1200 0.04228 75 67 7 1
11689 It's just my doggy style. 1.1200 0.04228 75 67 7 1
11690 Quid pro quo? 1.1200 0.04228 75 67 7 1
11691 Love your necklace Are you in the dog house? 1.1200 0.03562 100 89 10 1
11692 No problem. We can still nose each other well. 1.1200 0.03778 75 66 9 0
11693 I like your inny, and I like your outty...sexy. 1.1200 0.03778 75 66 9 0
11694 Don’t look so glum, it will all turn around. 1.1200 0.04228 75 67 7 1
11695 Finally, someone who fits me! 1.1200 0.03778 75 66 9 0
11696 To hell with the shamers,mange is a fashion statement. 1.1200 0.04634 75 68 5 2
11697 Oh,please. Popped collars are so 2010. 1.1200 0.03778 75 66 9 0
11698 Can you do mine now? 1.1200 0.04228 75 67 7 1
11699 Hi Bert, why the reversed collar? I am racing some Greyhounds later my owner is in aerodynamics! 1.1196 0.04043 92 83 7 2
11700 Get with the times. 1.1196 0.03736 92 82 9 1
11701 Aerodynamic, yet I still feel shamed. 1.1194 0.04523 67 60 6 1
11702 Opposites do attract, but in this instance I think we should just go our separate ways, don't you? 1.1194 0.04523 67 60 6 1
11703 You’re a dog. What am I ? 1.1194 0.03991 67 59 8 0
11704 @thedemocrats vs @gop 1.1194 0.04523 67 60 6 1
11705 I requested to be shaken not stirred. 1.1194 0.04523 67 60 6 1
11706 Can you help me out with an itch? Btw, you look great. 1.1194 0.04523 67 60 6 1
11707 I see you’re still in kindergarten. 1.1190 0.03938 84 75 8 1
11708 One of us is right, but I don't know which one! 1.1190 0.03938 84 75 8 1
11709 I still can burrow with mine! 1.1190 0.03555 84 74 10 0
11710 Heh dude, your mask is on backwards 1.1190 0.03555 84 74 10 0
11711 My owner can never put anything together this way it's supposed to go 1.1190 0.03938 84 75 8 1
11712 Yo you eat ass bro? 1.1190 0.03938 84 75 8 1
11713 I wish I was like you Bony Bones 1.1190 0.03555 84 74 10 0
11714 Can you hear Dog! 1.1188 0.03799 101 91 8 2
11715 My vet observes Opposite Day. 1.1184 0.03731 76 67 9 0
11716 I lick your back; you lick my back. 1.1184 0.03731 76 67 9 0
11717 My vet was Dr. Harold Bornstein’s protégé 1.1184 0.03731 76 67 9 0
11718 You see, we are very different from each other. 1.1184 0.04175 76 68 7 1
11719 This DIY thing - he always gets it wrong. 1.1184 0.04175 76 68 7 1
11720 Just trying to be cool. 1.1184 0.04175 76 68 7 1
11721 As the saying goes, you have your way and I have my way 1.1184 0.03731 76 67 9 0
11722 If I wiggle my tail, my body like gets up. 1.1184 0.03731 76 67 9 0
11723 with mine you don't need a mask 1.1184 0.04175 76 68 7 1
11724 Did you know my owner's a vegan? 1.1184 0.03731 76 67 9 0
11725 My mom says I'm the belle of the ball. 1.1184 0.03731 76 67 9 0
11726 Karen: your cone isn’t just for show 1.1184 0.03731 76 67 9 0
11727 I had a better reception of everything since when i got against the system 1.1184 0.04576 76 69 5 2
11728 « Cone of fame! » 1.1184 0.03731 76 67 9 0
11729 I know it's on wrong, my Vet has dyslexia. 1.1183 0.04001 93 84 7 2
11730 It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society. 1.1183 0.03367 93 82 11 0
11731 No no no, you're wearing the mask all wrong! This is how you wear it! 1.1183 0.03698 93 83 9 1
11732 It’s reimagined for a new era. 1.1183 0.03698 93 83 9 1
11733 At least mine is more comfortable 1.1176 0.03893 85 76 8 1
11734 I believe we have a deal 1.1176 0.03893 85 76 8 1
11735 Just curious, is your belly button an innie or an outie? 1.1176 0.03936 68 60 8 0
11736 Wearing your cone like that is so last week 1.1176 0.03515 85 75 10 0
11737 I'm protesting government overreach. 1.1176 0.04238 85 77 6 2
11738 Wear it like this, its like teflon 1.1176 0.03893 85 76 8 1
11739 Here's looking at you kid! 1.1176 0.03515 85 75 10 0
11740 Go with the flow. 1.1176 0.03893 85 76 8 1
11741 I just walked it back and they left me alone. 1.1176 0.03936 68 60 8 0
11742 I read about it on Goop. They say it's all the rage this season. 1.1176 0.03936 68 60 8 0
11743 So what they'll know I can take it off by myself! It's so much more flattering for my figure this way. 1.1176 0.04927 68 62 4 2
11744 Told you you should get one too, Steve. Now, tell me you don't feel super snazzy ! 1.1176 0.04459 68 61 6 1
11745 ... but make it fashion. 1.1176 0.03936 68 60 8 0
11746 Just the tip, mate. 1.1176 0.04459 68 61 6 1
11747 Not again! We’re no longer at the Oval Office, Don 1.1176 0.03515 85 75 10 0
11748 Why yes, I am a Pilgrim dog, and I'll bet you're just a dumb old dog! 1.1170 0.03333 94 83 11 0
11749 Yes, I am dogmatic! 1.1170 0.03660 94 84 9 1
11750 I had a hernia operation. 1.1169 0.04123 77 69 7 1
11751 I think they put your cone on the wrong end, Gladys. 1.1169 0.04123 77 69 7 1
11752 Sorry Spot, looks like you came up on the short end of parity non-conservation. 1.1169 0.04123 77 69 7 1
11753 Stop talking crazy and go make us some tea! 1.1169 0.03685 77 68 9 0
11754 I actually can't hear you that well. Come around to the other side. 1.1169 0.04123 77 69 7 1
11755 You gotta be kidding me. But then you can't scratch your ears! 1.1169 0.03685 77 68 9 0
11756 you just run as fast as you can through the kid's pop up tunnel 1.1169 0.03685 77 68 9 0
11757 Dude,you gotta cover the nose 1.1169 0.03685 77 68 9 0
11758 Itg's kisme 1.1169 0.03685 77 68 9 0
11759 Meditate dog! It has widened my perspective. 1.1169 0.03685 77 68 9 0
11760 not muzzled, yet, but you are a narrow minded bully, aren't you. 1.1169 0.03685 77 68 9 0
11761 Left guy : "It's an amplifier. Now my bark's worse than my bite :) The rats run away ! What's with yours? " Right guy : " Oh that ?! It's the collar that goes with my space helmet. I'm in training to be an Astro - Dog. It's lunch break now, so I took off the helmet. Very functional - your stuff ! :) " 1.1169 0.03685 77 68 9 0
11762 It’s the latest fashion, sweetheart! 1.1169 0.03685 77 68 9 0
11763 Live free or ... like confused animals. 1.1169 0.03685 77 68 9 0
11764 Bible, I'm the goat, right? You couldn't pull it off, but got some kale? I'm so povo. We'll spend yours listening my new low base bark as I explain thrice why you've failed in life. 1.1169 0.04519 77 70 5 2
11765 Let’s go bite someone. 1.1169 0.04123 77 69 7 1
11766 1970's coneheads give way to to 21st century eraser heads. 1.1163 0.03477 86 76 10 0
11767 Hey Dummy, Your Collar is on backwards. Mine is from Polo for man’s best friend. 1.1163 0.03477 86 76 10 0
11768 My issue is I can't stop flexing my pecs. 1.1163 0.03477 86 76 10 0
11769 I saw a documentary on it. That's just how the Government wants you to wear these. 1.1163 0.03850 86 77 8 1
11770 I just stole your inner cone! 1.1163 0.03850 86 77 8 1
11771 Do you think phenomenologists can prove the difference between these cone collars and lamp shades? But also: how do we know we 1.1159 0.03882 69 61 8 0
11772 No matter what they told you, that's not a fashion statement You're just wearing it inside out. 1.1159 0.03882 69 61 8 0
11773 My vet is anti-collar. I'll chew your stitches if you chew mine. My human is dyslexic. More aerodynamic this way. 1.1159 0.03882 69 61 8 0
11774 So you see, it's functional AND fashionable. 1.1159 0.03882 69 61 8 0
11775 My humans still listen to Kris Kross." 1.1159 0.04858 69 63 4 2
11776 Have you noticed when you look in the mirror everything 1.1159 0.04397 69 62 6 1
11777 I’d rather sit on the table than hang from the ceiling... 1.1159 0.04397 69 62 6 1
11778 It prevents splashback. 1.1159 0.04397 69 62 6 1
11779 Well, it's pretty easy. Go see a Christopher Nolan film -- any of em, actually -- sit in the front row -- and don't overthink it. 1.1159 0.04397 69 62 6 1
11780 Let me guess,your owner wears a chin-diaper instead of a mask,huh?! 1.1159 0.04397 69 64 3 2
11781 no, it’s called docking, dogging is something else; anyway, scrunch your head backwards into your cone, like a turtle. 1.1159 0.03882 69 61 8 0
11782 Open wide, here I come. 1.1154 0.03641 78 69 9 0
11783 Mine's built for speed. Bow-wow...I love your style. We could make a great pair! 1.1154 0.04073 78 70 7 1
11784 Well, we should be getting along better now! Dad fixed that! 1.1154 0.04073 78 70 7 1
11785 will fit like a glove 1.1154 0.04073 78 70 7 1
11786 Talk about wearing lampshades.... 1.1154 0.03641 78 69 9 0
11787 That's genius. Put your head in the bowl. 1.1154 0.04463 78 71 5 2
11788 As to downturns, I like to give things a turn-around. 1.1154 0.03641 78 69 9 0
11789 This is how they wore them in the barking 20's 1.1154 0.04073 78 70 7 1
11790 „Haha no.. this is how they wear it in France. It’s called fashion Frank.“ 1.1154 0.03641 78 69 9 0
11791 I can't lick my balls anymore man..." "Sure you can, let me woof at that bitch down the road." "You'd do that for me?" "Of course, you're my DAWG, dog... 1.1149 0.04144 87 79 6 2
11792 Yeah, well MY "cone of shame" eliminates that tunnel vision 1.1148 0.04115 61 54 7 0
11793 McHale, its Nester 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
11794 However you see it! 1.1148 0.04115 61 54 7 0
11795 I managed to catch my tail. 1.1146 0.03881 96 87 7 2
11796 At least in our world the boundaries of gender haven't gone to the dogs. 1.1146 0.03268 96 85 11 0
11797 My buddies tell me I have this on wrong. I think if they saw the way you're wearing yours, they'd approve of mine! 1.1146 0.03588 96 86 9 1
11798 Your Vet has “Doglexia”. 1.1143 0.04337 70 63 6 1
11799 Its called fashion and peripheral vision 1.1143 0.04337 70 63 6 1
11800 May the Lord bless you and keep you 1.1143 0.03830 70 62 8 0
11801 In any race, you are a disgrace. I can run any race faster than you. Well, except perhaps a race backwards. 1.1143 0.03830 70 62 8 0
11802 When chuck challenged me to the race he said I didn’t have the balls. He’s got me there but wait till he sees how aerodynamic I am when I show up like this! 1.1143 0.04337 70 63 6 1
11803 The cap looks much cooler on backwards. 1.1143 0.05205 70 65 2 3
11804 Did you hear what I've got four of now? 1.1143 0.04337 70 63 6 1
11805 Sure my skin's a mess, too, but this way I can bit my paws off if there's another impeachment. 1.1143 0.03245 70 63 7 0
11806 I like to think of myself as someone who sees the glass as half full. 1.1143 0.03830 70 62 8 0
11807 And she calls herself a topologist. 1.1143 0.03830 70 62 8 0
11808 They told me that it was once the height of fashion by someone called Elizabeth, The First. 1.1143 0.04791 70 64 4 2
11809 Visual aid in psychology class. Extravert and introvert. 1.1143 0.04337 70 63 6 1
11810 George it's simple not the done thing to go shopping without your face covering on correctly 1.1143 0.04337 70 63 6 1
11811 C'mere, I'll show you how the melt the plastic. 1.1139 0.03597 79 70 9 0
11812 We finally realized the blue part of the mask faces out. Now, we don't know which way the cone lays! Ruff. 1.1139 0.04408 79 72 5 2
11813 That old style anti-flee device fit makes you look so dowdy. 1.1139 0.03597 79 70 9 0
11814 That cone doesn’t make you top dog, It just keeps you from chewing on your owies. 1.1139 0.03597 79 70 9 0
11815 Daisy collars: loves me not, loves me. 1.1139 0.04023 79 71 7 1
11816 You say tomato; I say tomahto. All the same. But mine is better! 1.1139 0.04023 79 71 7 1
11817 Well,they may have cut me open and taken your balls,but at least they gave us these funky hats! 1.1139 0.03597 79 70 9 0
11818 "Dimwit can't tell a joke" is that. "Look, I'm a 100 watt bulb" is this. 1.1139 0.04023 79 71 7 1
11819 Is your neck hurt?” “No, my body 1.1139 0.03597 79 70 9 0
11820 They think we’re cuter this way 1.1139 0.03597 79 70 9 0
11821 Under his (doggy) eye 1.1139 0.04408 79 72 5 2
11822 Like my new collar? 1.1136 0.03767 88 79 8 1
11823 Yes, I guess in the final analysis I'm really a maskhole. 1.1136 0.03767 88 79 8 1
11824 He thinks he's superdog. 1.1136 0.03767 88 79 8 1
11825 Wearing it backwards is much cooler, you son of a bitch 1.1136 0.04099 88 80 6 2
11826 will you be my valentine? 1.1136 0.03403 88 78 10 0
11827 ..but make it fashion, as they say. 1.1136 0.03767 88 79 8 1
11828 l don't know your name, butI've seen you in my dreams ever since my life to9! 1.1134 0.03236 97 86 11 0
11829 Right. So versatile! 1.1129 0.05196 62 57 3 2
11830 The suppression of liberty is likely to always be irrationala.democratandchronicle.com 1.1129 0.04659 62 56 5 1
11831 It’s the European way. Much more stylish! 1.1129 0.04052 62 55 7 0
11832 Excuse me you’ve got your mask on backwards- 1.1129 0.04659 62 56 5 1
11833 My cone keeps me from looking at myself 1.1127 0.04279 71 64 6 1
11834 They say it's for therapeutic purposes, but this all comes down to body-shaming. 1.1127 0.03779 71 63 8 0
11835 Dude, that's not how you wear it! 1.1127 0.04279 71 64 6 1
11836 Looking good! But my way doesn 1.1127 0.04279 71 64 6 1
11837 My owner is an iconoclast. 1.1127 0.04279 71 64 6 1
11838 I'm afraid we'll have to wear these things for 8 more lives! 1.1127 0.03779 71 63 8 0
11839 She says it comes with a Gi-lead, whatever that is. 1.1127 0.03779 71 63 8 0
11840 it’s called the winds of change. i’m just excited to be a part of it 1.1127 0.04726 71 65 4 2
11841 It’s trending all over Instagram. 1.1127 0.04279 71 64 6 1
11842 What are you doing there?” “Trying to make Fetch happen 1.1127 0.03779 71 63 8 0
11843 One Australian Shepard later, and you think you’re so cultured 1.1127 0.03779 71 63 8 0
11844 Dont believe them, its a trap! 1.1127 0.03779 71 63 8 0
11845 How did you get stuck that way? 1.1125 0.03975 80 72 7 1
11846 Let me warn you, barking dogs DO bite." 1.1125 0.03975 80 72 7 1
11847 I can't smell behind me, turn round. 1.1125 0.04355 80 73 5 2
11848 I gotta get my money back from Amazon, Poochie. These mirrors I bought don’t work right! 1.1125 0.04355 80 73 5 2
11849 Don't you know: it's New Punk. 1.1125 0.03078 80 72 8 0
11850 I thought only super heroes wore armor! 1.1125 0.03975 80 72 7 1
11851 My human is an engineer. He tried it both ways. I loved the wind tunnel. 1.1125 0.03975 80 72 7 1
11852 How many biscuits will you bet me that you're gonna fly first? 1.1125 0.03555 80 71 9 0
11853 Not such a bad look. Think what we'd look like if our owner thought we were poodles. 1.1125 0.04355 80 73 5 2
11854 It's pretty paw-some that tails stand up either way. 1.1125 0.03555 80 71 9 0
11855 I got de-neutered! 1.1125 0.03975 80 72 7 1
11856 Reaching across party lines. 1.1125 0.03555 80 71 9 0
11857 one man's trash is another man's treasure? 1.1124 0.03727 89 80 8 1
11858 aerodynamic? No, it use to belong to another dog! 1.1124 0.03367 89 79 10 0
11859 It's called a "ruff." Ha ha! Get it? 1.1124 0.03727 89 80 8 1
11860 Clyde! Flip the lampshade around, it reverses what you lost! 1.1124 0.04055 89 81 6 2
11861 No, actually, he sleeps in the doghouse and I sleep in the bed. 1.1124 0.03367 89 79 10 0
11862 I don’t know. I heard my owner mumble something about everyone ‘needing to get back to taking personal responsibility instead of mandating everything’ as he placed the cone on me like this 1.1124 0.03727 89 80 8 1
11863 More like these lampshades *are* fire, Modest Mouse. (Yes i know this sucks.) 1.1122 0.03805 98 89 7 2
11864 Is it halloween yet? 1.1121 0.03340 107 96 10 1
11865 Unlucky. Looks like they gave you the old fake news cone. 1.1111 0.04648 81 75 3 3
11866 At least you can walk forward 1.1111 0.03991 63 56 7 0
11867 I'm not sure what comes next, but I think I'm making progress. 1.1111 0.03331 90 80 10 0
11868 My Master's voice is on distributed ledger now. 1.1111 0.03991 63 56 7 0
11869 It’s easy, you stand them in front of a mirror 1.1111 0.04222 72 65 6 1
11870 Let me guess, that's the INTJ model? 1.1111 0.03928 81 73 7 1
11871 It's all in the way you bark to them 1.1111 0.04662 72 66 4 2
11872 You need to think out of your box, dog! 1.1111 0.04222 72 65 6 1
11873 It's not so bad if you pop your collie. 1.1111 0.03928 81 73 7 1
11874 I’ve seen the humans do it. It’s called docking. 1.1111 0.03331 90 80 10 0
11875 My people are totally woke 1.1111 0.03730 72 64 8 0
11876 Well, this helps me cope with my FOMO. 1.1111 0.03730 72 64 8 0
11877 They told me to wear one so I'm wearing one. What's the problem? 1.1111 0.04222 72 65 6 1
11878 You don't know what you can do until you try! 1.1111 0.03687 90 81 8 1
11879 It’s awfully windy. I’m guessing you havehh mg t been out. 1.1111 0.04011 90 82 6 2
11880 I had a rash too,but my mistress is a nun. 1.1111 0.03730 72 64 8 0
11881 If you don't mind... 1.1111 0.04303 81 74 5 2
11882 Mannerly:mannerist, Parmigiana:Parmigianino ... it’s confusing ! 1.1111 0.03730 72 64 8 0
11883 You ought to try mixing it up now & then; it can really improve your outlook and attitude. 1.1111 0.04222 72 65 6 1
11884 One of our veterinarians is incompetent 1.1111 0.03730 72 64 8 0
11885 Haven't you heard of a reverse vasectomy? 1.1111 0.04588 63 57 5 1
11886 No, I’m the female and you’re the male. 1.1111 0.03730 72 64 8 0
11887 I guess you could pull it off if you had matching boots. 1.1111 0.04662 72 66 4 2
11888 Marjorie Taylor Greene promised it would work." @rflinc 1.1111 0.04662 72 66 4 2
11889 Just watched a special on Ken Griffey, Jr. 1.1111 0.03687 90 81 8 1
11890 Wear your collar however you like to promote a narrowed or wide worldview. 1.1111 0.03687 90 81 8 1
11891 That is not Regency, it’s Rococo. 1.1111 0.03730 72 64 8 0
11892 My owner switched plans so we traded in our old for an upgrade. 1.1111 0.03687 90 81 8 1
11893 Is yours Prada, too? 1.1111 0.04222 72 65 6 1
11894 I hear ya, but survival of species is all about thinkin' out of the box, dawg 1.1111 0.04222 72 65 6 1
11895 I’m ‘Dogecoin’... TO THE MOON!!!” 1.1111 0.03928 81 73 7 1
11896 Hey friend your cape is on backwards 1.1111 0.05116 63 58 3 2
11897 What do you mean? The kids have been doing this for years. 1.1100 0.03451 100 90 9 1
11898 That style is so 8 minutes ago. 1.1099 0.03297 91 81 10 0
11899 Don’t worry, I decided to become a Breed Apart. I’m a “Them”!!! 1.1098 0.03883 82 74 7 1
11900 I’m not bow-towing anymore! 1.1098 0.03883 82 74 7 1
11901 It's the new backwards fashion but for me I like it- wouldn't you? 1.1098 0.03883 82 74 7 1
11902 No skin problem, my owner thought I'd look good with a lamp shade. 1.1098 0.03473 82 73 9 0
11903 Life must be so hard for you! Go with the flow, dog! 1.1098 0.03473 82 73 9 0
11904 “When I got my clergy collar, they told me I had the demeanor of a saint.” “Oh, they just kept telling me to be still.” 1.1098 0.03473 82 73 9 0
11905 I can't tell if you are Democrat or Republican. 1.1098 0.03473 82 73 9 0
11906 It's streamlined and stylish and does the trick! I still can't reach my butt. 1.1098 0.03883 82 74 7 1
11907 This too shall pass. You’ll outgrow it 1.1098 0.03473 82 73 9 0
11908 Left foot. Right foot, Levitatin’ 1.1098 0.03473 82 73 9 0
11909 Your Elisabeth Collar hides your queenly face. 1.1096 0.04166 73 66 6 1
11910 Rally caps? 1.1096 0.03681 73 65 8 0
11911 The vet says it's more fashionable 1.1096 0.03681 73 65 8 0
11912 [dog on RIGHT says to dog on LEFT] (Using speech bubble) "Dude, you put it on backwards!" 1.1096 0.03681 73 65 8 0
11913 Either way works fine once you realize "lamp trick" is just a "sit up and beg" with a long hold at the end. 1.1096 0.04166 73 66 6 1
11914 I know it’s unconventional but I wanted to get away from the frumpy, nun’s habit look. 1.1096 0.04166 73 66 6 1
11915 I'm sorry for you, buddy, but with all this streamlining, I feel like s-u-uper-dog! 1.1096 0.03681 73 65 8 0
11916 See there’s not really any difference. 1.1096 0.04166 73 66 6 1
11917 I’m an extrovert really, if you can believe!” “Shhh.. I’d rather not be able to inflict self harm 1.1096 0.03681 73 65 8 0
11918 With this aerodynamic collar, the postman better not ring twice. 1.1094 0.03932 64 57 7 0
11919 The earth IS flat! 1.1094 0.03932 64 57 7 0
11920 finna jerk it 1.1087 0.03074 92 84 7 1
11921 It's the dropped collar. 1.1087 0.03610 92 83 8 1
11922 They retooled me when I was in the nursery. 1.1087 0.03610 92 83 8 1
11923 My fleas are the ones doing the biting. 1.1087 0.03610 92 83 8 1
11924 What he does with a leash is really painful.... 1.1084 0.03434 83 74 9 0
11925 Oh yeah, my brother's has an outie too. 1.1084 0.03434 83 74 9 0
11926 My groomer insisted on a sleeker look. 1.1081 0.04112 74 67 6 1
11927 I can't use my front legs, but the youngsters think it's cool. 1.1081 0.03634 74 66 8 0
11928 I subvert the status quo,it's my thing! 1.1081 0.03634 74 66 8 0
11929 It's great, my master's putting things on backwards. You should see his socks. Robert Jablon rcjablon@aol.com 1.1081 0.03634 74 66 8 0
11930 We both better get proper masks 1.1081 0.04112 74 67 6 1
11931 It's so I can't see my quarantine fifteen. 1.1081 0.03634 74 66 8 0
11932 You gotta believe me...I’m the parallel universe version of you and there’s no such thing as flees over there. It’s beautiful! 1.1081 0.04112 74 67 6 1
11933 The RIGHT way vs the “RIGHTS” way 1.1081 0.03634 74 66 8 0
11934 Inside Out 1.1081 0.04540 74 68 4 2
11935 Get a load of this guy. 1.1077 0.04452 65 59 5 1
11936 This is the kind of upside-down logic that got us into this mess in the first place. 1.1077 0.03875 65 58 7 0
11937 I just think these cones are a load of bologna anyway. 1.1077 0.03875 65 58 7 0
11938 it's the new Air-O-Dynamic 2021. It cost a lot more but hey...you get what you pay for. 1.1077 0.03875 65 58 7 0
11939 Get over it, Some have innies and some have outies. 1.1071 0.03794 84 76 7 1
11940 I had bariatric surgery. What did you have done? 1.1071 0.03395 84 75 9 0
11941 Some collars are better than others. 1.1071 0.03395 84 75 9 0
11942 Milkbone, m’lord? 1.1071 0.03794 84 76 7 1
11943 Socket to me 1.1071 0.03794 84 76 7 1
11944 How 'bout Rock, Paper, Scissors to see who gets scratched first? 1.1071 0.03794 84 76 7 1
11945 Otitsis-Externa, you?”. “Spartacus-Gladiator” 1.1071 0.03794 84 76 7 1
11946 I like this fashion of masks. 1.1071 0.03794 84 76 7 1
11947 Racism? Seems we're just about equal. 1.1071 0.03794 84 76 7 1
11948 I'm no longer catchy. 1.1067 0.04060 75 68 6 1
11949 What dou you mean "blessed be the fruit"? 1.1067 0.04482 75 69 4 2
11950 On the time old dog dilemma of peripheral vision versus forward vision, I am a forwarder.. 1.1067 0.04060 75 68 6 1
11951 Let's call the whole thing off 1.1067 0.04482 75 69 4 2
11952 No dear, you are NOT a stereo FM transmitter....with or without the tail! 1.1067 0.03588 75 67 8 0
11953 There is much I must teach you young pawdawan 1.1067 0.03588 75 67 8 0
11954 I'm in cone-version therapy.....because of my ball obsession. 1.1067 0.03588 75 69 5 1
11955 Stay low. Be quiet. You think it's ruff down here? Brother, if you see my point of view, at the top of these leashes- it's ruff -ruff. 1.1067 0.03588 75 67 8 0
11956 Umm . . . I think you're doing it wrong. You lose peripheral vision doing it that way. 1.1067 0.04060 75 68 6 1
11957 this way it shades your neck fleas! 1.1067 0.03588 75 67 8 0
11958 #ad #hingepartner 1.1067 0.04060 75 68 6 1
11959 Well, my owners have gotten really into integrative medicine. If you ask me, they have forgotten their PEMDAS 1.1067 0.04060 75 68 6 1
11960 Rex- you've never been one for the leash, but I don't think dogs are eligible for Rumspringa. 1.1061 0.03819 66 59 7 0
11961 In 2021 my nose and mouth no longer have to be covered, and I love that is's aerodynamic and the kids can add stickers without blocking my view. 1.1061 0.03819 66 59 7 0
11962 I've always said, "there's no accounting for fashion". 1.1061 0.04387 66 60 5 1
11963 Sorry Rufus, now you won’t be able to bite my scabs either. 1.1061 0.04387 66 60 5 1
11964 We missed you at my bris yesterday! 1.1061 0.03819 66 59 7 0
11965 I went through this weird circular doggy door with flashing lights and it was this way when I came back 1.1061 0.04387 66 60 5 1
11966 See! I’m wearing it! 1.1061 0.03819 66 59 7 0
11967 Vanity working on a weak head, produces every sort of mischief. 1.1059 0.03751 85 77 7 1
11968 If only we could hug...these cones are ruff,can you help me take it off? 1.1059 0.03357 85 76 9 0
11969 It's called freedom of speech. Don't be a sheepdog. 1.1059 0.03751 85 77 7 1
11970 What did you do? I hurt my ears. So they had to put it on backwards, what about you?? 1.1059 0.03751 85 77 7 1
11971 Mom said I was handsome with my mane flowing in the wind. 1.1059 0.04108 85 78 5 2
11972 Bright here, Lamp”, Leade 1.1059 0.03357 85 76 9 0
11973 Huh, mocking you relentlessly didn’t seem to fix it. Maybe I should try a different approach? 1.1059 0.03357 85 76 9 0
11974 My humans are anti-flea spray, but like to keep up appearances. 1.1059 0.03357 85 76 9 0
11975 These humans aren't always the brightest bulb in the pack. 1.1053 0.04101 57 51 6 0
11976 Hey, man! Check out this new look on me! It’s a bit tight on the neck, though. 1.1053 0.03544 76 68 8 0
11977 what, banned in Twitter, you want every bark through the bullhorn? 1.1053 0.04008 76 69 6 1
11978 I'm an influencer now just changing things up. 1.1053 0.04424 76 70 4 2
11979 I can go a million miles an hour Long's I got this infernal collar Ridin' backward on my doggone neck! 1.1053 0.04008 76 69 6 1
11980 Never had you got a Puritan!! 1.1053 0.03544 76 68 8 0
11981 It happened when I started hasing my tail 1.1053 0.03544 76 68 8 0
11982 Have you heard of Dogecoin? 1.1053 0.02701 76 69 7 0
11983 True story, one minute we’re going for it hell for leather next minute I’m wearing the cone of shame... HIS cone no less; backassward! 1.1053 0.04008 76 69 6 1
11984 You could use some strong wind to get that thing out of your face 1.1053 0.03544 76 68 8 0
11985 We need a partisan agreement here 1.1047 0.03320 86 77 9 0
11986 We hired him because he is the only bull coming in to a China Shop 1.1047 0.03320 86 77 9 0
11987 I say, Lizzie, do you need a hand with that? 1.1047 0.03709 86 78 7 1
11988 I call it 'The Laika'! 1.1047 0.03320 86 77 9 0
11989 my owners want me to have more out of body experiences 1.1047 0.03320 86 77 9 0
11990 Don't stick you head out of the window on a Tesla when your master is testing the pick up 1.1045 0.04819 67 62 3 2
11991 How did I know this way was more comfortable? I just backed into it. 1.1045 0.04324 67 61 5 1
11992 it's much easier to lick the wounds this way 1.1045 0.03765 67 60 7 0
11993 Remnants of a Handmaid’s tale book club living in the super hero/villain industrial complex. #thedogsarentalright 1.1045 0.03765 67 60 7 0
11994 There is no healing if you keep bringing the uncomfortable to the front. Let's leave it behind. 1.1045 0.04324 67 61 5 1
11995 Why are you so stiff-necked? 1.1042 0.04050 96 89 4 3
11996 Which one of us is built upside down??? 1.1039 0.03958 77 70 6 1
11997 Helps to keep the sun and wrinkles at bay. 1.1039 0.03958 77 70 6 1
11998 It's such a better, more aerodynamic design!" 1.1039 0.03958 77 70 6 1
11999 My owner believes the western veterinary industrial complex only wants to keep us sick so they can keep selling us the so called ‘cure’. Plus, it’s more aerodynamic this way!” 1.1039 0.03500 77 69 8 0
12000 Ivanka sez it's very European 1.1039 0.03500 77 69 8 0
12001 Love my dyslexic owner. 1.1039 0.03500 77 69 8 0
12002 Into the Doggo-verse: anti-maskers. 1.1039 0.03958 77 70 6 1
12003 Just turn it around; it's easy! 1.1039 0.03500 77 69 8 0
12004 This collar was so 2020. 1.1039 0.03958 77 70 6 1
12005 What? You never heard of Kris Kross ? 1.1039 0.03500 77 69 8 0
12006 Hey. Didn't your parents ever teach you it's not cool to wear your cone like an Elizabethan Collar after Groundhog Day? 1.1039 0.03500 77 69 8 0
12007 Just our luck, Pfizer just came out with doggy viagra. 1.1034 0.04034 58 52 6 0
12008 Empathy,sure. Looking like a fool,not a chance. 1.1034 0.03284 87 78 9 0
12009 Hey god, my owner gets lots of stuff backward. 1.1034 0.03668 87 79 7 1
12010 They got you in cuffs. Me,no this collar looks fabulous. 1.1034 0.03668 87 79 7 1
12011 I have an unnaturally long neck. 1.1029 0.04263 68 62 5 1
12012 I asked for it and feel aerodynamic. 1.1029 0.04263 68 62 5 1
12013 Let's just say I'm edgy. 1.1029 0.04750 68 63 3 2
12014 My cone deflects catty politics. 1.1029 0.03713 68 61 7 0
12015 I heard if you wear your cone like that it means you 1.1026 0.03909 78 71 6 1
12016 This is the cone of lame 1.1026 0.03909 78 71 6 1
12017 I still can’t reach my tail 1.1026 0.03457 78 70 8 0
12018 You don't have my style sense. 1.1026 0.03457 78 70 8 0
12019 You may hear better, BUT........................................ 1.1026 0.03457 78 70 8 0
12020 The cone goes over your nose 1.1026 0.03457 78 70 8 0
12021 ever gets itchy this way, why? 1.1023 0.03628 88 80 7 1
12022 This is for when they *want* you to bite at your stitches. 1.1023 0.03972 88 81 5 2
12023 How do you solve a problem like Maria? 1.1023 0.03249 88 79 9 0
12024 Sorry about that, Chief. 1.1023 0.03628 88 80 7 1
12025 Watch this ... reverseo coneo! 1.1017 0.03969 59 53 6 0
12026 It's Edwardian, huh? It doesn't do you justice. 1.1017 0.03969 59 53 6 0
12027 Take my advice. Lampshades are always worn best when entered from the inside out. 1.1014 0.04203 69 63 5 1
12028 I am so over this! 1.1014 0.04203 69 63 5 1
12029 Here’s your sign! 1.1014 0.04203 69 63 5 1
12030 That is so 5 minutes ago! 1.1014 0.04203 69 63 5 1
12031 Erm,you're wearing it the wrong way around 1.1014 0.04203 69 63 5 1
12032 I tried it you way but it was impossible to lick my balls so I reversed it and all is well. 1.1014 0.04203 69 63 5 1
12033 ponies 1.1013 0.03416 79 71 8 0
12034 Don't tell me. Your human is a Republican. 1.1013 0.03862 79 72 6 1
12035 My stylist... 1.1013 0.04261 79 73 4 2
12036 Why Richard, so basic... Look at me! 1.1013 0.03862 79 72 6 1
12037 Stop trying to make fetch happen 1.1013 0.04261 79 73 4 2
12038 What happens if we bump into each other? 1.1013 0.03416 79 71 8 0
12039 Remember that big storm with all the wind last week? A big gust came and turned the thing inside out... I've been happily snorgling my nethers ever since. 1.1011 0.03214 89 80 9 0
12040 K9 version of inner-outer wear. Circa 1980's 1.1011 0.03214 89 80 9 0
12041 I'm there yang, you're the ying. 1.1011 0.03214 89 80 9 0
12042 It's a fashion statement 1.1000 0.04145 70 64 5 1
12043 Yeah man, I'm telling ya, I'm less susceptible to that 5g stuff! 1.1000 0.03612 70 63 7 0
12044 Say ya, wanna grab some coffee? 1.1000 0.03551 90 82 7 1
12045 Get fucked, son. 1.1000 0.05046 70 66 1 3
12046 Are you also wearing Karl Lagerfeld couture? 1.1000 0.03612 70 63 7 0
12047 I received the antidote when I escaped to the USA. 1.1000 0.04210 80 74 4 2
12048 You have an “outty!” 1.1000 0.03815 80 73 6 1
12049 Coney Dogs: Hot and Saucy! 1.1000 0.04618 70 65 3 2
12050 you should see how my owner puts on his shoes 1.1000 0.04145 70 64 5 1
12051 why is everything upside down? how come everything's the wrong way round? things that were up, now they're down things that were square, now they're round 1.1000 0.03313 70 65 4 1
12052 How do you like my training cone? 1.1000 0.03906 60 54 6 0
12053 Strictly speaking, I can't find at least two differences between ourselves. 1.1000 0.03180 90 81 9 0
12054 You’re not a super hero Bob 1.1000 0.03815 80 73 6 1
12055 Hey, what’s your favorite planet?? 1.1000 0.03612 70 63 7 0
12056 This would not of happen under TRUMP! 1.1000 0.03612 70 63 7 0
12057 Excuse me sir - I'm new here in London 1.1000 0.03180 90 81 9 0
12058 It's a hack to improve your jaw line at five. 1.0989 0.04151 91 85 3 3
12059 When I discovered fashion. 1.0989 0.03513 91 83 7 1
12060 That collar style is SO outré. 1.0989 0.03147 91 82 9 0
12061 The vet says this is better than getting it off. 1.0988 0.03336 81 73 8 0
12062 Nipper,HMV, today listens to RBG 1.0988 0.03336 81 73 8 0
12063 I have an itch in my Handmaid's Tail. 1.0988 0.03336 81 73 8 0
12064 You scratch min 1.0988 0.03770 81 74 6 1
12065 Frankly Woody,I believe Q! 1.0988 0.03336 81 73 8 0
12066 You know you're wearing that the wrong way." "It's still a free country, just open your eyes and ears to different ways of doing things." "What" 1.0988 0.03336 81 73 8 0
12067 My owner put my cone like this so I CAN lick the stitches on my leg. 1.0988 0.03336 81 73 8 0
12068 So this is how I die. 1.0988 0.03336 81 73 8 0
12069 My cone is reversible! Still can't scratch, but I can point to all the squirrels! 1.0986 0.03563 71 64 7 0
12070 I couldn't breathe. 1.0986 0.03563 71 64 7 0
12071 I think you on the left have much better radio and television reception. 1.0986 0.03563 71 64 7 0
12072 I'll scratch your face if you'll lick my crotch. 1.0986 0.03563 71 64 7 0
12073 Poor guy, you're so out of fashion, THIS is the new trend! 1.0986 0.03563 71 64 7 0
12074 Now the itching feeling was that one of was doing something horribly wrong 1.0986 0.04555 71 66 3 2
12075 I actually don't have a problem with chewing my stitches, you see, my butt...." "Stop talking please 1.0986 0.03563 71 64 7 0
12076 This is how you avoid spills while eating on the go 1.0986 0.04089 71 65 5 1
12077 You need to stop watching MSM. 1.0986 0.03563 71 64 7 0
12078 Well, one of us has to be wearing it correctly. Then again, if it works, maybe we both are. 1.0984 0.04499 61 56 4 1
12079 Vex!” “Hiya Cave. How’s it hanging? 1.0984 0.03845 61 55 6 0
12080 My owner says I'm just a yuppie, but I'll grow out of it. 1.0976 0.03726 82 75 6 1
12081 Wanna catch a squirrel? Flip it. 1.0976 0.03060 82 76 5 1
12082 The comings and goings in life!!! 1.0976 0.03726 82 75 6 1
12083 Negationist? I’m a torpedo 1.0976 0.03726 82 75 6 1
12084 It’s the latest fashion trend from dogue (dog fashion magazine)! 1.0976 0.03726 82 75 6 1
12085 Outties are so last year! 1.0972 0.03516 72 65 7 0
12086 My vet totally screwed the pooch with my cone- I've got a real bone to pick with him... 1.0972 0.03516 72 65 7 0
12087 Hi Pal ! My name is nitty and yours ? 1.0972 0.04034 72 66 5 1
12088 Not the vet, I got mine at the fine dumpster, around the block... 1.0972 0.04034 72 66 5 1
12089 Thats not a ruff-ruff Michael, update yourself 1.0972 0.03516 72 65 7 0
12090 And you're calling ME a prude? 1.0968 0.03785 62 56 6 0
12091 Your name's Yin, that's amazing! My name's Hank! 1.0968 0.04429 62 57 4 1
12092 If you let me tongue-kiss you, I'll lick and scratch you as you like, anywhere you want. 1.0968 0.04429 62 57 4 1
12093 How about a little roll in the day? 1.0968 0.03785 62 56 6 0
12094 Is it me or does it smell like updog in here? 1.0968 0.04429 62 57 4 1
12095 Just trying to lower my carbon pawprint 1.0968 0.03785 62 56 6 0
12096 I didn't have surgery. This improves my drag coefficient. 1.0964 0.04062 83 77 4 2
12097 You know, that look really suits you, but I guess I’m just not the preppy type. 1.0964 0.03259 83 75 8 0
12098 Just chase a few cars and you’ll feel better faster 1.0964 0.03682 83 76 6 1
12099 I think you’re backwards. 1.0964 0.03682 83 76 6 1
12100 It feels much better facing this way! 1.0964 0.03682 83 76 6 1
12101 I don't know why. I'm missing something. 1.0959 0.03470 73 66 7 0
12102 Your look is so passé! 1.0959 0.03981 73 67 5 1
12103 I'll lick your ass if you'll lick mine. 1.0959 0.04433 73 68 3 2
12104 No. Symbiotic relationship. With an S. It's nothing bad. 1.0959 0.03470 73 66 7 0
12105 The Upside Down 1.0959 0.03470 73 68 4 1
12106 Ms. Muzzle, It's all about mellowing down 1.0957 0.03405 94 86 7 1
12107 We were 2G when 2G was cool. 1.0952 0.03728 63 57 6 0
12108 Let’s smooch! 1.0952 0.03222 84 76 8 0
12109 I think you need to get with the latest necklace fads. Yours is pretty old fashioned. 1.0952 0.03640 84 77 6 1
12110 Mine has a built-in mask 1.0952 0.03640 84 77 6 1
12111 WE'RE STAR CROSSED SNIFFERS 1.0952 0.03640 84 77 6 1
12112 Under the table dealing works wonders 1.0952 0.03640 84 77 6 1
12113 Not looking back. Shame inside out, dawg! 1.0952 0.03640 84 77 6 1
12114 Oh, for God's sake, Harry, that's not an ass. 1.0946 0.03425 74 67 7 0
12115 And that's why you should vote to impeach. 1.0946 0.03929 74 68 5 1
12116 I'm expressing myself-just backwards! 1.0946 0.03425 74 67 7 0
12117 I forgot to check my weather app this morning. 1.0946 0.03929 74 68 5 1
12118 I'm telling you, wearing it like that will cause you autism! 1.0946 0.03929 74 68 5 1
12119 I used to chase cars too. Now I ride motorcycles. 1.0946 0.04375 74 69 3 2
12120 I see what I wanna see".... "I hear what I wanna hear".... "Guess we both are same 1.0946 0.03425 74 67 7 0
12121 Hoop-edy-Doop-edy-Doop-edy! 1.0941 0.03186 85 77 8 0
12122 Yo either you're a priest or you're wearing this wrong. But I don't think you're a priest so.... 1.0941 0.03186 85 77 8 0
12123 No cone-o alone-o! 1.0941 0.03186 85 77 8 0
12124 Our owners talk nonstop about their belly buttons. 1.0941 0.03186 85 77 8 0
12125 I'm cone of a kanined! 1.0941 0.03599 85 78 6 1
12126 'Vitamin D is the best medicine, Charlie!' 1.0941 0.03186 85 77 8 0
12127 Now, what are we supposed to do to help our masters figure out the right way to wear this? 1.0938 0.03337 96 88 7 1
12128 the doctor told me it would go faster if i wear this, and it does! 1.0938 0.04295 64 59 4 1
12129 Don’t be a Coneidiot 1.0938 0.03672 64 58 6 0
12130 My Vet is an anti-coner. She also doesn 1.0933 0.03382 75 68 7 0
12131 It is called "cone of fame" 1.0933 0.03382 75 68 7 0
12132 Well hello there, my little matching puzzle piece. Mind if I sit down? 1.0933 0.03382 75 68 7 0
12133 I guess you decided against your owner religious affiliation? I wear the collar of my owner’s god- all worked out ! 1.0933 0.03878 75 69 5 1
12134 Meryl Streep made me do it. 1.0933 0.04717 75 71 1 3
12135 Do dogs have belly buttons? 1.0933 0.03382 75 68 7 0
12136 Ahahaha sucks to be u I have a much more fly cone stupid head haha try licking your butt now fool B) 1.0933 0.03878 75 69 5 1
12137 my designer, who is from ... ahem ... Paris ... states that “form must not in all cases, be the dictator of function” 1.0930 0.03151 86 78 8 0
12138 All have a different aspect to see another's life. 1.0930 0.03151 86 78 8 0
12139 You should get with this year's style. 1.0930 0.03151 86 78 8 0
12140 Look Gerald I’ve had a ruff day, Okay? 1.0930 0.03558 86 79 6 1
12141 Hi, I’m Bob! Bob from Chicago! 1.0923 0.04231 65 60 4 1
12142 The Color of Law 1.0923 0.03618 65 59 6 0
12143 Oops! Looks like you joined the wrong order. 1.0923 0.03618 65 59 6 0
12144 Wait, was that not an accessory? Wait some more...are we...the accessory?? 1.0923 0.04231 65 60 4 1
12145 Honestly. Why do they make us wear these things, as if we already don't get enough attention already. 1.0921 0.03339 76 69 7 0
12146 Guess we're both boneheads. 1.0921 0.03339 76 69 7 0
12147 You are changing. i wore it first! 1.0921 0.03339 76 69 7 0
12148 I'm taking my first pets towards dog. 1.0921 0.03339 76 69 7 0
12149 It's more aerodynamic, I have fast rabbits to chase you know. 1.0920 0.03519 87 80 6 1
12150 Mirror image or male/female? 1.0920 0.03519 87 80 6 1
12151 My butt has a life of it's own" 1.0920 0.03116 87 79 8 0
12152 Oh I am Elon Musk’s dog , just wanted to have a rocket like feeling. 1.0920 0.03519 87 80 6 1
12153 Wanna race to the hot dog stand? 1.0909 0.03566 66 60 6 0
12154 And I suppose you will tell me your human wears their mask as a chin diaper .... 1.0909 0.04208 77 72 3 2
12155 Male or Female? 1.0909 0.04169 66 61 4 1
12156 I’ve begged enough, you’ll either lick ‘em or you won’t 1.0909 0.03298 77 70 7 0
12157 Bring it on! 1.0909 0.03298 77 70 7 0
12158 We could be a fit! Nope, I'm a Rover, Rover. Just so unwoke. 1.0909 0.03780 77 71 5 1
12159 You'd never believe how many cats understand the concept of peripheral vision. 1.0909 0.03566 66 60 6 0
12160 I was accepted into Eton! I said I was a Cynic! 1.0909 0.03566 66 60 6 0
12161 If you kiss me, perhaps our hats fit well together! 1.0909 0.04169 66 61 4 1
12162 I’m the new cone-oisseur czar. 1.0909 0.04208 77 72 3 2
12163 I get away with wearing it like this all the time! 1.0909 0.04169 66 61 4 1
12164 Is it worth it, let me work it, I put my thing down, flip it and reverse it! 1.0909 0.04169 66 61 4 1
12165 These things are not all bad. 1.0909 0.03298 77 70 7 0
12166 I broken now unfortunately 1.0899 0.03442 89 82 6 1
12167 Oui, Haute Couture! 1.0897 0.03734 78 72 5 1
12168 I asked for something functional, while still on trend... 1.0897 0.02698 78 72 6 0
12169 I wasn't aware we had to wear masks. 1.0897 0.03257 78 71 7 0
12170 Are you trying to be a new trend-setter? Not sure I want to be seen with you at the dog walk, with your collar put on backwards; I told you about the latest fashion style, which means you were supposed to put your head through the wide bottom first! 1.0897 0.03257 78 71 7 0
12171 I was adopted by Kris Kross. 1.0897 0.03257 78 71 7 0
12172 I love your coat model buddy 1.0897 0.03734 78 72 5 1
12173 It’s my new aesthetic. I saw it on Tik Tok. 1.0897 0.03257 78 71 7 0
12174 If the Triceratops can pull it of with the T-Rex, I can with Mr. Tickles. 1.0896 0.03515 67 61 6 0
12175 Jet stream got me again. 1.0889 0.03405 90 83 6 1
12176 Thus ways even better! 1.0886 0.03218 79 72 7 0
12177 Equal opportunity competition 1.0886 0.03218 79 72 7 0
12178 I'm lucky to be alive. You're dying inside. 1.0886 0.04104 79 74 3 2
12179 This skit gets a bit nasty - you're to play the baby Queen Elizabeth, while I take the role of Sir Thomas More. 1.0886 0.03218 79 72 7 0
12180 ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooohhhhhhh!! ohh! ooh! oh! oh! oh! oooooh! ooooh! oooooh! (it's a dog it's howling) 1.0886 0.03688 79 73 5 1
12181 . Covid safe and Covid save. 1.0886 0.03688 79 73 5 1
12182 You scratch my back literally I'll scratch your back figuratively. 1.0882 0.04049 68 63 4 1
12183 Are you the gatekeeper? 1.0882 0.03465 68 62 6 0
12184 It's all the rage! 1.0882 0.03465 68 62 6 0
12185 Woof you have nothing to lose but your chains woof 1.0882 0.04049 68 63 4 1
12186 1.Looks like we went overboard, what was meant to be a sniff, suddenly became a snog and then I don’t know where he went ... 2. Here in the tropics, we eat with our hands ... 3. Give her a truffle or two and she will turn it the other way 1.0879 0.03714 91 85 4 2
12187 There is no such thing as a Dog with blinkers on". Why? "We are already so focussed towards loving our masters" 1.0879 0.03369 91 84 6 1
12188 Don't be hostile; it's a dog's life out here, too... but I'm hopeful for next week's "Who Wore It Best?" 1.0875 0.03643 80 74 5 1
12189 Wait, what's the problem with my communication style? 1.0875 0.03643 80 74 5 1
12190 Bowl-mates” 🐾 ❤ 1.0875 0.03643 80 74 5 1
12191 Me first style 1.0870 0.03417 69 63 6 0
12192 Any chance we can evolve and learn to scratch each other behind the ear? Woof! 1.0870 0.01248 92 86 6 0
12193 Maybe we should turn this into a dog-eat-dog situation. 1.0870 0.03417 69 63 6 0
12194 It’s called multi level marketing. All I have to do is recruit a few people. And that shouldn’t be hard. We’re talking essential oils here. 1.0870 0.03675 92 86 4 2
12195 Hey! Just start thinking outside the box. 1.0864 0.03599 81 75 5 1
12196 Looks like your've got your collar flipped wrong way. 1.0864 0.03141 81 74 7 0
12197 Cone heads @lakitty712 1.0864 0.03141 81 74 7 0
12198 That's so last years style. 1.0862 0.03718 58 53 5 0
12199 Two dogs in surgical cones stand facing each other. The one on the left is wearing the cone as intended, while the one on the right has it fitted inwards in the manner of a bishop's stole. The first dog looks miserable, silent—the second one less so. 1.0860 0.03299 93 86 6 1
12200 BIMBO SUMMIT 1.0860 0.03299 93 86 6 1
12201 ``You really need a new agent.'' 1.0857 0.03370 70 64 6 0
12202 To be honest, I’m kind of glad I couldn’t see the glass. 1.0857 0.03370 70 64 6 0
12203 Don't worry, it's just head-wind. 1.0857 0.03370 70 64 6 0
12204 Are you here or there? 1.0857 0.03370 70 64 6 0
12205 Things gotta breath 1.0857 0.03370 70 64 6 0
12206 I still can't lick my crotch, but sometimes I'm glad my owner is a torpedo designer. 1.0854 0.03105 82 75 7 0
12207 Its the cat’s meow in France.” Joe Casino, East Rockaway, N 1.0854 0.03105 82 75 7 0
12208 Dave thinks my fetch game shows real promise. 1.0854 0.03105 82 75 7 0
12209 Spot, I got my owner on a short leash, I got the dupe to put it on backwards." "Your soooo smart Rex. Try licking yourself." "Dammit Spot! 1.0851 0.02894 94 86 8 0
12210 Uhhh I don’t think you’re wearing it right” they both say, simultaneousl 1.0847 0.03657 59 54 5 0
12211 Got your nuts cut off? That's too bad, man. That sort of thing happens. I actually had a bigger dick put on — like, Pringles-can thick and vascular as hell and really oddly human-looking. Yeah, my owner's so fucking awesome, he loves me so much. 1.0845 0.04370 71 67 2 2
12212 Yes, you keep an eye on your base but I 'm more of an apex predator. 1.0845 0.03324 71 65 6 0
12213 It wasn't easy to come out of that echo chamber, believe me. 1.0845 0.03883 71 66 4 1
12214 Doggie!! Your style is wrong. 1.0845 0.03324 71 65 6 0
12215 It’s the Cone of Emahs. 1.0843 0.03911 83 78 3 2
12216 I had to start from scratch too, but now we can begin to get somewhere. 1.0843 0.03069 83 76 7 0
12217 You really can't swing a cat in this town and not hit a wound my dad didn't help lick. I'm kind of proud of that ("Don't Tell Me What to Do," February 15th & 22nd). 1.0843 0.03515 83 77 5 1
12218 I got this girl and she wants me to duke her I told her I'd come scoop her around eight, she said (super) That sounds great, shorty girl's a trooper No matter what I need her to do, she be like (Super) 1.0833 0.03034 84 77 7 0
12219 Krab! 1.0833 0.03034 84 77 7 0
12220 Is there a model that comes with side view mirrors for me? 1.0833 0.03474 84 78 5 1
12221 My owner is dogged with palindromes! 1.0833 0.03280 72 66 6 0
12222 Well,you have to admit I 1.0833 0.03034 84 77 7 0
12223 And I thought the, “shade on a leg” was a bad idea! 1.0833 0.03280 72 66 6 0
12224 I’ve found it is much more aerodynamic this way. 1.0833 0.03034 84 77 7 0
12225 No, no, no, Sparky. It’s not a pyramid scheme, it’s multi-level barketing. 1.0833 0.03034 84 77 7 0
12226 Dog on the left” You know you have that on backwards don’t you ? “Dog on the right” you should see where my owners put my suppositories ! 1.0824 0.02999 85 78 7 0
12227 How did you do it Missy?” “ Ti esrever dna ti pilf nwod gnaht ym tup i 1.0824 0.03435 85 79 5 1
12228 You're talkin' outta your ass. 1.0824 0.03435 85 79 5 1
12229 Why this garb? Equality is American. Right? 1.0824 0.02999 85 78 7 0
12230 They caught me using it to sneak dirty underwear outside to chew on, and then leaving the underwear on the front yard. 1.0822 0.03237 73 67 6 0
12231 Not only does it not catch the wind, the bitches think it’s boss! 1.0822 0.03237 73 67 6 0
12232 No, I'm good. But I can report that the Subaru dog throws a really wild party. 1.0822 0.03779 73 68 4 1
12233 Schminny, shmouty... who cares? 1.0822 0.03237 73 67 6 0
12234 None Illness. I was at an Apollo 11 fans convention. 1.0822 0.03779 73 68 4 1
12235 The two Coneheads 1.0820 0.03541 61 56 5 0
12236 Post-pandemic mask-withdrawal woes: “...this way I can be fully social with others, without being at odds with my own issues.” 1.0814 0.03396 86 80 5 1
12237 You should start going to my vet ..... its' called - we don't care... I can scratch my head all the time .... it's one block away here's it's website- we don't care@ 70% of 8**#^& 235236277899043279 www. com 1.0811 0.03195 74 68 6 0
12238 That’s what they did to you!? They actually reversed mine! 1.0811 0.03195 74 68 6 0
12239 Hey! I can eat whatever I want now. But unfortunately it makes lucking my butt impossible! 1.0811 0.03195 74 68 6 0
12240 I LOVE SOMETHING THAT NEVER GOES OUT OF STYLE! 1.0811 0.03195 74 68 6 0
12241 Yeah, I bumped into Morgan this morning, he mentioned meeting you at the vet. 1.0811 0.04197 74 70 2 2
12242 Did you hear about mental reprogramming? 1.0811 0.03729 74 69 4 1
12243 So I thought, maybe we just haven't caught our tails yet because we weren't streamlined 1.0811 0.03195 74 68 6 0
12244 I guess there will be no necking for awhile! 1.0805 0.03358 87 81 5 1
12245 Get it? I’m circumcised. @frang888 1.0805 0.03358 87 81 5 1
12246 my master only sends me to the BEST groomer! 1.0800 0.03154 75 69 6 0
12247 Dog on left: "Did you get your balls chopped too?" Dog on right: "Mine were internal." 1.0800 0.03154 75 69 6 0
12248 Houston, we have a dogging problem 1.0795 0.02901 88 81 7 0
12249 The upper east side vs the upper west side 1.0792 0.03045 101 94 6 1
12250 I’m gling as a lamp. What about you? 1.0789 0.03114 76 70 6 0
12251 No, you’ve got it backwards There’s room for reasonable disagreement I kept licking myself You be a handmaid, I’ll be a pilgrim! Bending the cone is impossible. You 1.0789 0.03114 76 70 6 0
12252 ' wearing your inside out ' 1.0789 0.03634 76 71 4 1
12253 I'm not sure that qualifies as an "underlying condition." 1.0787 0.02870 89 82 7 0
12254 I live on the other side of the tracks. 1.0787 0.02870 89 82 7 0
12255 It came from one I ate earlier. 1.0779 0.03075 77 71 6 0
12256 Heard any gossip lately Noped, my ears were clogged 1.0779 0.03075 77 71 6 0
12257 Two dogs talking to each other 1.0779 0.03588 77 72 4 1
12258 You can sniff my butt, but there is a 7% smells tax. 1.0779 0.03588 77 72 4 1
12259 I’ll give you my moile’s number. 1.0779 0.03075 77 71 6 0
12260 How do you do, fellow puppies? 1.0779 0.03588 77 72 4 1
12261 Your caption vs mine 1.0778 0.02839 90 83 7 0
12262 Cancel culture . 1.0769 0.03988 65 61 3 1
12263 The dog whistles were more like a dog roar. 1.0769 0.03037 78 72 6 0
12264 I like to set my own style 1.0769 0.03331 65 60 5 0
12265 Sir, your political philosophy seems a bit unconsidered 1.0769 0.03037 78 72 6 0
12266 HEY! Do you like to Naruto run too? 1.0759 0.03000 79 73 6 0
12267 Our vet is a bit backward, doggone it. 1.0759 0.03000 79 73 6 0
12268 Mine was recommended by Dr. Poochy 1.0759 0.03000 79 73 6 0
12269 I eat dogs like you for breakfast. 1.0758 0.03282 66 61 5 0
12270 At least we're not Republicans. 1.0758 0.03282 66 61 5 0
12271 They put it on during Fashion Week. 1.0758 0.03282 66 61 5 0
12272 is that— dude, are you wearing Balenciaga? lmfao dude, that’s broke as hell, you look fucken horrible. hold up, let me get a pic of this pathetic motherfucker tryin so hard. 1.0753 0.03499 93 88 3 2
12273 That look is so 8 years ago. 1.0750 0.02963 80 74 6 0
12274 It's called the Kriss Kross Challenge 1.0750 0.03456 80 75 4 1
12275 I think 'bitch' and 'stud' mean that you're an in-y and I'm an 'out-ty. 1.0746 0.03235 67 62 5 0
12276 Even if they’ve “fixed” you we can still sniff. 1.0745 0.03114 94 88 5 1
12277 Royalty over novelty. 1.0741 0.02928 81 75 6 0
12278 Now we're same bro...... I guess # 1.0741 0.02928 81 75 6 0
12279 I used to be embarrassed by this cone but apparently my owner can’t stop licking his privates either 1.0737 0.02695 95 88 7 0
12280 Why are you always so negative? 1.0735 0.03189 68 63 5 0
12281 With this simple turn, they'll start barking your powers instead of your pains. 1.0735 0.02404 68 64 4 0
12282 Dawg! you look just like your owner! 1.0725 0.03144 69 64 5 0
12283 Why is your cone on backwards?” -“This is my human’s safe space 1.0725 0.03761 69 65 3 1
12284 See no evil...hear no evil... Barbara.T. Fricke@gmail.com Send $$$$$ 1.0714 0.03100 70 65 5 0
12285 You see, I'm what they call a 'vert-rex,' and you're more basic. 1.0714 0.03100 70 65 5 0
12286 Do you think that the aliens are just social distancing? 1.0706 0.03257 85 80 4 1
12287 My owner rubs me with sunscreen. 1.0706 0.03257 85 80 4 1
12288 It’s not a “cone of shame” anymore; it’s a “ruff of guff.” 1.0704 0.04171 71 68 1 2
12289 Perfect. Now come closer,close your eyes,and Ins 1.0704 0.03058 71 66 5 0
12290 1. I have read somewhere, a very interesting article about binary stars...(from Eva) 1.0698 0.02763 86 80 6 0
12291 ‘I like this one. One dog cone goes one way, the other dog cone goes the other way’. #goodfellas @martinscorsese_ 😂 1.0698 0.03220 86 81 4 1
12292 Backwards is for all the dogs upstate. 1.0698 0.02763 86 80 6 0
12293 there's definitely something wrong with both of us or wqe're hiding something 1.0694 0.03017 72 67 5 0
12294 Red cone. Blue cone. Same mange. 1.0690 0.02732 87 81 6 0
12295 So let’s enter the market on funky lampshades! 1.0685 0.02977 73 68 5 0
12296 salmon stroll against the wind 1.0685 0.02977 73 68 5 0
12297 I like your bonnet. Do you think he noticed us? 1.0685 0.02977 73 68 5 0
12298 Now do you see why its called a 'dog collar'? 1.0682 0.02702 88 82 6 0
12299 Conservative? Ya, it shows.... 1.0682 0.02702 88 82 6 0
12300 You want to have the cone on your own way, but you look stupid; Shouldn't you follow the rule? 1.0676 0.02938 74 69 5 0
12301 Now eva since I can remember,I've been poppin' my collar. 1.0676 0.02938 74 69 5 0
12302 Doesn't he know that went out with the 80's? 1.0667 0.03466 75 71 3 1
12303 Offpooch,where’s your shopping partner? 1.0667 0.03080 90 85 4 1
12304 : That look is so 2020 1.0667 0.02900 75 70 5 0
12305 I am into speed tests 1.0659 0.02616 91 85 6 0
12306 My bark is bigger than my bite 1.0658 0.03421 76 72 3 1
12307 I crawled under the furniture to turn it inside-out. And it's way better this way...I can sort of lick my itchy butt again. 1.0658 0.03421 76 72 3 1
12308 But on the plus side, no doom-scrolling for you, right? 1.0658 0.03421 76 72 3 1
12309 Agreed, The Equalizer starring Queen Latifah is a badass show. 1.0641 0.02791 78 73 5 0
12310 I said, "Ruff!" and my Vassar English major owner took me at my word. 1.0641 0.03335 78 74 3 1
12311 Think of it as an opportunity to focus on your object work. 1.0633 0.02757 79 74 5 0
12312 No, it's The Handmaid's Tale...T-A-L-E. 1.0633 0.02757 79 74 5 0
12313 You bark, I quark! 1.0625 0.03050 64 60 4 0
12314 I was referred to Dr. Spaceman 1.0625 0.03050 64 60 4 0
12315 That'sso five minutes ago 1.0625 0.03050 64 60 4 0
12316 It’s the latest Mandy Coonhound. 1.0625 0.03050 64 60 4 0
12317 Mickey: Did we just become Space Dogs? Mayor: Maybe we went too hard on the zoomies, Mick 1.0625 0.02723 80 75 5 0
12318 Biden and Harris model Fauci's next decision. 1.0619 0.02459 97 91 6 0
12319 My child appreciates a rare masterpiece 1.0610 0.02659 82 77 5 0
12320 Don’t worry, I’m pretty sure I have the antidoggies 1.0606 0.01527 66 64 2 0
12321 some days you'll do anything to draw attention. 1.0595 0.02597 84 79 5 0
12322 You blew me away with that woof of yours 1.0588 0.02875 68 64 4 0
12323 The thinking is that with the cone facing forward, you can't lick your own balls, so then with the cone reversed, it means nobody else can lick your balls. Let me be the first to tell you, in case you haven't tried yet, that it's totally not true. 1.0588 0.02875 68 64 4 0
12324 Oh I see your parents had you do the MBTI too!? Looks like you were too Extroverted, and I came out too Introverted. 1.0581 0.02538 86 81 5 0
12325 You should be ashamed of yourself. No, you should be ashamed of YOURself! 1.0580 0.03506 69 66 2 1
12326 On the Continent, the abat-jour is making a comeback 1.0580 0.02834 69 65 4 0
12327 Let’s just say having a capuchin monkey at home who likes his face licked is helpful 1.0580 0.02834 69 65 4 0
12328 It makes me aerodynamic so I can run faster 1.0580 0.01460 69 66 3 0
12329 Inspired by Christopher Nolan's TENET, Rex executed a temporal pincer movement to reverse the surgery. 1.0571 0.02794 70 66 4 0
12330 The cone goes over your head. 1.0571 0.02794 70 66 4 0
12331 'Cause inside-out its wiggida wiggida wiggida wack! Cones'll make ya Jump! Jump! 1.0568 0.02482 88 83 5 0
12332 Not everyone fits the mould. 1.0563 0.02756 71 67 4 0
12333 I think I might be super man ...or zoro, I’m not sure yet.. 1.0562 0.02455 89 84 5 0
12334 I don’t care that it’s not officially Valentine’s Day, Sal. I’m kissing you right now anyway. Come over here my little show pony! ❤️ ? ? 1.0556 0.02718 72 68 4 0
12335 Kris Kross will make ya Jump Jump. 1.0556 0.02718 72 68 4 0
12336 I guess this would be my life in a parallel universe—a life without blinders”. OR— “This must had been like-before the whole world went crazy” response: “You mean, Covid?” Response: I was talking Bravo Housewife and Trump being our former President and incidences a crowd to take over capital... But, yeah... Something like that”. Or here’s another one: This is like a Freudian -slip, right? 1.0556 0.02428 90 85 5 0
12337 I know we’re identical twins but I don’t scratch myself the way you do. 1.0548 0.02682 73 69 4 0
12338 - I´ll scratch it for ya if you agree to be Miss Ponty´s dinning room chandelier for Carnival. 1.0548 0.02682 73 69 4 0
12339 I'm protedting friends for rear-end smellision. 1.0519 0.02546 77 73 4 0
12340 You must pay the rent. 1.0510 0.02234 98 93 5 0
12341 Do you think I can borrow your cone? 1.0506 0.02482 79 75 4 0
12342 I’m Deadpool’s dog. Deadpool, from the Ryan Reynolds film Deadpool? Yeah, let’s just say he does things a little more mixed up than you might expect. 1.0500 0.02452 80 76 4 0
12343 My ass keeps trying to shove itself in my mouth 1.0500 0.03029 80 77 2 1
12344 My owner saw this look on The Hand Maiden’s Tale. I am still going to ignore “sit”, “shake” or “come.” 1.0482 0.02365 83 79 4 0
12345 To get revenge on the humans, you have to go past what they call “doggy flap” eat the cat, join a traveling circus, let a wolf rip that of your head, go through the Alaskan airlines, and then hopefully you will find them on the door to you right. 1.0455 0.02757 88 85 2 1
12346 Sure,you lose sensitivity,but it 1.0423 0.02404 71 68 3 0
12347 oh yeah? Yo mama's backwards, Keith! I'm sorry, that was too far, she's a good girl. 1.0417 0.02372 72 69 3 0
12348 Arf in style. 1.0405 0.02308 74 71 3 0
12349 Is it live or is it Memorex? 1.0400 0.02278 75 72 3 0
12350 So what if my tag under here says ‘Trump’? Do you really think if you do me a favor like that, I’m not gonna pay you back? 1.0390 0.02220 77 74 3 0
12351 I have a very curious butthole. 1.0375 0.02137 80 77 3 0
12352 It's about the shes-who-would-be-hes and the hes-who-would-be-shes. 1.0361 0.02061 83 80 3 0
12353 Safe space...brave space 1.0361 0.02061 83 80 3 0