Contest #744


Cartoon

744

The winning captions

These captions are chosen by The New Yorker.

  1. “I could never pull that off.”
  2. "You should see how my owner wears his mask."
  3. "He said I had to wear it. He didn't say how."


Name Value
Submission deadline 2021-02-21T20:51:00.000Z
Voting started -
Voting ended 2021-03-07T20:52:00.000Z
Finalists announced 2021-03-01T20:52:00.000Z
Magazine(s) announcing finalists issued March 8, 2021
Number of captions 12354
Number of responses 1110562
Number of participants -


Dashboard

In this table, the "mean" means the empirically measured average funniness score when the "unfunny", "somewhat funny" and "funny" receive a funniness score of 1, 2, 3 respectively. "Precison" is the standard error of the mean, the standard deviation of the mean estimate. With that, a caption with an empirical mean μ and precision σ has true mean in the range [μ - 2σ, μ + 2σ] with 95% probability by the 68-95-99.7 rule assuming the responses are indepedent and identically distributed.

Rank Caption Mean Precision Total votes "Unfunny" votes "Somewhat funny" votes "Funny" votes
0 Your going as a satellite dish? I'm going as a pilgrim. 1.8905 0.01728 2128 817 736 575
1 As a Republican I have to wear it this way, otherwise it's impossible to stick my head up my ass. 1.8873 0.02329 1411 628 314 469
2 Any place you'd like me to lick for you? 1.8836 0.01924 1839 753 554 532
3 It might be on backwards, but now they put the thermometer in my mouth. 1.8793 0.01803 2105 877 616 612
4 No one wears their cone like that anymore Dad 1.8757 0.01743 2004 752 750 502
5 I could never pull that off. 1.8463 0.01614 2420 983 831 606
6 Technically, I'm in compliance. 1.8309 0.01757 1887 739 731 417
7 I think I got the placebo. 1.8274 0.01771 1941 790 698 453
8 I'm getting much better mileage too. 1.8269 0.01785 1895 764 695 436
9 You went to the vet. I went to the seminary. 1.8251 0.01831 1830 755 644 431
10 This way I can still drink out of the toilet. 1.8235 0.01713 2125 886 730 509
11 Elizabethan is out. Puritan is in. 1.8204 0.01844 1815 752 637 426
12 Is it true you can hear the ocean?" 1.8192 0.01800 1825 734 687 404
13 Run through the doggie door as fast as you can. Trust me. 1.8182 0.01862 1815 769 610 436
14 Mine's a placebo. 1.8179 0.01733 2120 905 697 518
15 This way, I can still drink from the toilet. 1.8165 0.01840 1820 758 638 424
16 Seriously? You didn’t know it was reversible? 1.8143 0.01729 1949 787 740 422
17 No, it’s not medical. I chased the cat up a lamp 1.8138 0.01838 1880 807 619 454
18 I saw my human do it with his baseball cap 1.8078 0.01817 1831 766 653 412
19 I slipped the vet a five. 1.8069 0.01827 1802 753 646 403
20 Think I look stupid, my master has one that covers his mouth and nose" 1.8057 0.01863 1863 823 583 457
21 I like to think outside the cone. 1.7795 0.01792 1859 813 648 398
22 Nah. I just chased a cat up a lamp. 1.7778 0.02136 1395 633 439 323
23 Every revolution begins with a small act of defiance. 1.7698 0.01839 1690 722 635 333
24 I can’t get at my stitches but I can still drink from the toilet. 1.7657 0.01772 1848 806 672 370
25 It’s tough, but I can still lick mine. 1.7648 0.01863 1752 792 583 377
26 It’s simple. Just run real fast through the doggy door. 1.7643 0.01863 1727 769 596 362
27 It's a shame that cone-wearing has become a partisan issue. 1.7627 0.02172 1281 575 435 271
28 Just stick your head out of the car window at about 60 1.7615 0.01885 1635 716 593 326
29 Do you think this makes me look fast? 1.7612 0.01858 1738 780 594 364
30 I see you opted for amplification over aerodynamics." 1.7596 0.01936 1539 675 560 304
31 Designed by RBG. Yours? 1.7580 0.01902 1682 764 561 357
32 I'm more of an extrovert 1.7551 0.02365 1070 483 366 221
33 It's easy. Just wait for your next ride with the window down. 1.7527 0.01768 1820 798 674 348
34 It was easy. I just stuck my head out of the car window. 1.7514 0.01800 1770 788 638 344
35 At least I can still get my head into the toilet. 1.7473 0.01882 1642 743 576 323
36 Yeah, they're reversible. Who knew, right? 1.7447 0.01861 1594 699 605 290
37 Online vet. 1.7439 0.02620 902 424 285 193
38 You can wear it like this if you're 6 feet apart. 1.7431 0.01937 1561 709 544 308
39 I used to wear it that way, but I couldn't stand the acoustics. 1.7407 0.01886 1512 653 598 261
40 It’s not a cone of shame — I’ve been ordained! 1.7375 0.02034 1425 656 487 282
41 I discovered the cat door .... game changer. 1.7356 0.02068 1354 620 473 261
42 Neutered? I just promised celibacy and got this clerical collar instead. 1.7205 0.02404 1084 533 321 230
43 I mean... I knew it was wrong but why say anything? 1.7187 0.02336 1070 505 361 204
44 What echo? 1.7113 0.02407 942 432 350 160
45 I've looked at life from both sides now. This side is better. 1.7039 0.02560 895 436 289 170
46 It's easy ... just run really fast through a cat door. 1.7037 0.02512 901 432 306 163
47 They gave me a choice. Ask next time. 1.7026 0.02499 881 412 319 150
48 Catholic or Episcopal? 1.6961 0.02730 803 399 249 155
49 Wear the cone or the cone wears you. 1.6887 0.02728 742 359 258 125
50 Fauci said this way is much more effective 1.6877 0.02911 714 362 213 139
51 Have you seen my cone anywhere? 1.6859 0.02822 710 353 232 125
52 Couldn't take the echo. 1.6849 0.02768 714 343 253 118
53 Actually, mine's a lampshade. We just partied like it was 2019. 1.6829 0.02918 697 355 210 132
54 First time, huh? 1.6809 0.02807 680 325 247 108
55 I don't have stitches, I just like the look. 1.6801 0.02850 672 325 237 110
56 May the wind always be at your back 1.6797 0.02939 640 314 218 108
57 It serves no purpose but I get lots of 'likes.' 1.6771 0.02913 641 311 226 104
58 And just like that, I went from conic to iconic. 1.6593 0.03281 540 280 164 96
59 If it's any consolation, I can't see mine either. 1.6531 0.03274 516 265 166 85
60 I understand it's a fairly common occurrence with umbrellas. 1.6512 0.03271 496 248 173 75
61 It's not about protecting me; it's about protecting you. 1.6501 0.03321 503 261 159 83
62 This is nothing. You should see how my human wears a face mask. 1.6499 0.03502 477 252 140 85
63 My owner is dyslexic but he’s still a good boy 1.6492 0.03297 496 253 165 78
64 Trust me, you'll meet ten times more girl dogs this way. 1.6425 0.03462 456 235 149 72
65 I can think outside of the cone now. 1.6418 0.03455 455 234 150 71
66 I bribed the vet. 1.6380 0.03510 442 229 144 69
67 I’m still mourning the loss of RBG. 1.6353 0.03710 436 239 117 80
68 They said I have to wear it; they didn't say how. 1.6298 0.03545 416 214 142 60
69 Why, yes, my vet has switched to telemedicine. 1.6247 0.03647 397 207 132 58
70 My owners are dyslexic. 1.6220 0.03805 381 204 117 60
71 I was trying to turn off the table lamp, what's your deal 1.6215 0.03781 391 211 117 63
72 Gesundheit! 1.6130 0.04196 354 205 81 68
73 My vet believes in alternative medicine. 1.6116 0.03980 345 187 105 53
74 Next time, eat the instructions before he reads them. 1.6054 0.04151 332 186 91 55
75 Try it - you’ll never look back. 1.5882 0.04357 289 163 82 44
76 No, wrong, it's more frustrating: I can see it but still can't lick it! 1.5763 0.04652 262 153 67 42
77 I paid off the vet. 1.5753 0.04330 259 141 87 31
78 It’s not a cone, I just got ordained. 1.5753 0.04695 259 152 65 42
79 I asked for a cup too, but they gave me a cone. 1.5742 0.04404 256 141 83 32
80 I just stuck my head out the car window when we were going 70mph. 1.5731 0.04807 260 157 57 46
81 We're Jewish. 1.5643 0.04836 241 148 53 40
82 He said I had to wear it. He didn't say how. 1.5622 0.04815 233 136 63 34
83 It’s hard to run, but I can still lick my balls. 1.5560 0.04815 232 139 58 35
84 It’s not what you wear, but how you wear it. 1.5550 0.04730 218 123 69 26
85 My body, my choice. 1.5529 0.05178 208 125 51 32
86 Is yours an N95? Mine’s a 59N. 1.5509 0.04942 216 127 59 30
87 I haven’t done laundry in a while so I just wear it inside out. 1.5500 0.04744 220 126 67 27
88 My groomer told me it was more flattering if I wore it off my face. 1.5459 0.04506 218 120 77 21
89 Old school—I love it. 1.5401 0.04985 187 106 61 20
90 I can’t hear as well but I run faster. 1.5396 0.05162 202 122 51 29
91 Can't wait to see them try to put the leash on.! 1.5357 0.04979 196 114 59 23
92 Regardless, neither of us have testicles now, Brandon 1.5357 0.05285 196 120 47 29
93 I've found there are positive aspects to having stupid owners. 1.5312 0.04752 192 110 63 19
94 The hardest part of being a Priest is the vow I took to never again sniff another butt." 1.5294 0.05270 187 113 49 25
95 My owner has a convertible 1.5258 0.05073 194 116 54 24
96 It was so obvious. Just keep barking loud and use it as a megaphone until they can't stand it anymore! 1.5246 0.04828 183 108 56 19
97 What. can I say, I am an influencer. 1.5246 0.04828 183 108 57 18
98 Trust me. You'll see the advantage when you stick your head out the car window. 1.5243 0.05203 185 111 51 23
99 It's really just a gentle reminder - I'm on the honor system. 1.5222 0.05134 180 106 54 20
100 Run faster. 1.5198 0.05614 177 112 38 27
101 Don't spit in the wind and don't look up in the rain. 1.5174 0.05181 172 101 53 18
102 Pilgrim. You? 1.5146 0.05524 171 106 42 23
103 Yeah, mine’s an innie. 1.5141 0.05074 177 104 55 18
104 I got it on clearance. 1.5138 0.05054 181 107 55 19
105 Looks like I'm in the control group. 1.5134 0.05107 187 113 52 22
106 I heel to a Dutch master. 1.5120 0.05454 166 101 45 20
107 This way, my head gets stuck IN the food bag. 1.5119 0.05600 168 105 40 23
108 You should see how my owner wears his mask. 1.5116 0.05311 172 104 48 20
109 I finally got out the cat door 1.5115 0.05632 174 111 37 26
110 My owner also takes his mask off to talk. 1.5091 0.05273 165 98 50 17
111 I see we remember last night very differently. 1.5062 0.05344 162 97 48 17
112 It's in honor of RBG 1.5060 0.05455 166 102 44 20
113 My new girlfriend wanted me to get mine reversed 1.5057 0.05513 174 110 40 24
114 You coming....or going? 1.5031 0.05461 163 100 44 19
115 I finally turned my life around. 1.5029 0.05270 171 104 48 19
116 ¿Guard-dog? I prefer being avant-guard. 1.5000 0.05092 170 106 46 18
117 If you ask me, they're both wrong. 1.5000 0.05788 156 99 36 21
118 You wear the cone, don't let the cone wear you. 1.5000 0.05264 156 92 50 14
119 They didn't tell you it's reversible? 1.4971 0.05003 171 101 55 15
120 Cone of shame or cape of pride, it all depends on your perspective 1.4969 0.05774 159 105 32 22
121 You think this is bad? You should see how my owner wears his mask. 1.4967 0.05574 153 94 42 17
122 The best part is nobody can figure out if I'm a genius or an idiot. 1.4966 0.05493 147 88 45 14
123 It's my RBG Dissent collar. 1.4940 0.05472 168 106 41 21
124 Yes, my Veterinarian did get his degree online. 1.4937 0.05677 160 102 37 21
125 Just stick your head out the window. 1.4937 0.05589 158 101 37 20
126 My vet taught at Trump U. 1.4934 0.05904 152 98 33 21
127 Yes Bob, my people do struggle with IKEA projects. How did you know? 1.4933 0.05734 150 94 38 18
128 New cone, same shame. 1.4906 0.05418 159 98 44 17
129 Yeah, I did have my head out the window on the way here. How'd you know? 1.4906 0.05563 159 100 40 19
130 You be the nun, I’ll be the priest. 1.4904 0.05616 157 99 39 19
131 You know how he never follows the instructions? Well, it finally paid off. 1.4903 0.05670 155 98 38 19
132 I really should have seen this coming when he started wearing his baseball cap backwards. 1.4902 0.05800 153 98 35 20
133 I sneezed really hard 1.4901 0.05469 151 92 44 15
134 In their defence, there were no instructions, but my owners aren’t the squeakiest toys in the basket... 1.4899 0.05603 149 92 41 16
135 I’m a dog of the cloth. 1.4898 0.05822 147 93 36 18
136 I still can't lick myself, but at least I have my dignity. 1.4898 0.05901 147 94 34 19
137 Nah, I'm good. It's a lampshade. 1.4897 0.05963 145 93 33 19
138 Mine was actually a yoga injury: happened during downwards dog. 1.4861 0.06074 144 94 30 20
139 You bark. I'll bite. 1.4828 0.05962 145 94 32 19
140 It's really changed my outlook. 1.4792 0.05484 144 88 43 13
141 My ancestors came on the Mayflower. 1.4779 0.05713 136 84 39 13
142 Yeah, I still can't lick my balls, but at least I got my peripheral vision back. 1.4779 0.05901 136 86 35 15
143 Sticking your head out of the car window is the solution to every problem. 1.4779 0.05993 136 87 33 16
144 I like how it frames your face! 1.4762 0.05404 147 90 44 13
145 My homage to RBG. 1.4759 0.06118 145 97 27 21
146 Nope. No surgery, I'm just a really messy eater. 1.4745 0.05587 137 84 41 12
147 My therapist is encouraging me to practice thinking outside the cone. 1.4745 0.05682 137 85 39 13
148 If you wear it this way, it makes you look slimmer. 1.4741 0.05838 135 85 36 14
149 My vet is from Australia 1.4737 0.05902 133 84 35 14
150 Car ride. Open window. Voila! 1.4737 0.05902 133 84 35 14
151 You don't let the cone wear you........You wear the cone. 1.4733 0.06162 131 85 30 16
152 I saw it in Dogue. 1.4722 0.05742 144 92 36 16
153 I'm transitioning. 1.4710 0.05363 138 83 45 10
154 I volunteered for a clinical trial. 1.4710 0.05557 138 85 41 12
155 It’s called fashion, Bob. 1.4701 0.05821 134 87 32 15
156 Gorilla Glue. Don’t ask. 1.4697 0.05530 132 85 34 13
157 Vet school intern, why? 1.4688 0.05757 128 79 38 11
158 Oh, mine's not functional; I'm just accessorizing 1.4685 0.05770 143 92 35 16
159 My owner's an idiot. 1.4681 0.06002 141 93 30 18
160 Peripheral vision is superior but I still can’t lick anything worthwhile. 1.4679 0.05489 156 100 39 17
161 The cat did it 1.4676 0.05893 139 90 33 16
162 You know what they call the guy who graduates last from vet school? 1.4662 0.06182 133 88 28 17
163 Nice! You got the noise cancelling one. 1.4662 0.05703 133 83 38 12
164 So out of curiosity, is your toilet paper over or under? 1.4656 0.06159 131 88 26 17
165 I have an umbrella that does that. 1.4651 0.06132 129 84 30 15
166 Dude, that's not how you wear your mask. 1.4651 0.05828 129 81 36 12
167 ...and there’s virtually no turbulence when I’m car surfing. 1.4651 0.06033 129 83 32 14
168 Less Cone-of-Shame, more Super Hero Cape! 1.4648 0.06052 142 95 28 19
169 Just my luck to get a dyslexic vet. 1.4646 0.05787 127 79 37 11
170 Mine is from Ikea. 1.4646 0.05894 127 80 35 12
171 And when you graduate, you turn it this way. 1.4646 0.05894 127 80 35 12
172 Actually, I just do it to annoy my parents. 1.4627 0.05720 134 87 33 14
173 I had a good lawyer. 1.4627 0.05960 134 87 32 15
174 I can see you're not from around here. 1.4621 0.05832 132 84 35 13
175 This way you can see the mailman coming. 1.4621 0.05526 132 81 41 10
176 No, I had shoulder surgery. 1.4615 0.06095 130 85 30 15
177 Yup, My human wears his ball cap backwards too. 1.4609 0.05859 128 81 35 12
178 I got off with a warning. 1.4603 0.06032 126 81 32 13
179 Yeah, we were going about 60-65 miles per hour when it happened. 1.4597 0.05771 124 77 37 10
180 ‘This way I can’t lick my stitches but I can still drink from the toilet.’ 1.4597 0.06618 124 85 21 18
181 Hi Bert, word of advice, don't put your head out of a car window. 1.4593 0.06018 135 89 30 16
182 Dyslexic owner. Even better, she keeps telling everyone I'm a god. 1.4590 0.05895 122 79 31 12
183 Actually, Elizabethans wore them this way. 1.4589 0.05423 146 92 41 13
184 I think wearing it backwards makes my hips look slimmer. 1.4583 0.06251 120 78 29 13
185 Did you try turning it off and then turning it back on? 1.4583 0.06138 120 77 31 12
186 Fashion is all about risk. 1.4583 0.06138 120 82 24 14
187 It’s different, but it’s my small way to honor Ruth Bader Ginsberg 1.4574 0.06226 129 86 27 16
188 The pharmacist swore the generic was just as good as name brand 1.4574 0.06029 129 84 31 14
189 I ate through the bottom of my bowl. You? 1.4571 0.05587 140 89 38 13
190 I like it in a sort of RBG way. 1.4567 0.05995 127 82 32 13
191 It depends on whether you want to be Queen Elizabeth or the Pope 1.4567 0.06098 127 83 30 14
192 My owner works in aerodynamics, what does yours do? 1.4560 0.05957 125 80 33 12
193 I can’t lick there either. 1.4552 0.05567 134 84 39 11
194 I know, but this way I can still drink out of the toilet! 1.4552 0.05765 134 86 35 13
195 It’s alternative medicine. 1.4552 0.05465 134 83 41 10
196 I think my person is dyslexic. 1.4552 0.05447 145 92 40 13
197 Ignore the cat. You don’t look like a bundt pan. 1.4545 0.06320 121 80 27 14
198 Well, I’m three now, so they started letting me dress myself 1.4538 0.05892 130 84 33 13
199 It turns out my vet got his degree at Trump University. 1.4538 0.06509 119 80 24 15
200 I'm seeing a specialist. 1.4531 0.06061 128 84 30 14
201 So I just said to him, let me scratch my ears and I'll stop peeing in the house. 1.4530 0.06008 117 74 33 10
202 I had mine reversed on appeal. 1.4530 0.06130 117 75 31 11
203 I may not be able to lick my own balls but at least now I can lick yours. 1.4530 0.05884 117 73 35 9
204 One of us looks ridiculous. 1.4524 0.06027 126 82 31 13
205 I had the opposite problem 1.4516 0.06098 124 81 30 13
206 So, Gordo, first thing you do is find a really small doggie door. Then you give yourself a good running start . . . 1.4516 0.06309 124 83 26 15
207 I was blind but now I see. 1.4511 0.05491 133 83 40 10
208 It’s called inversion therapy. 1.4504 0.05957 131 86 31 14
209 Do it my way and they’ll never get a leash on you again. 1.4503 0.05614 151 100 34 17
210 Used the cat door. Worked like a charm. 1.4493 0.05733 138 90 34 14
211 I wonder which one of us got the placebo. 1.4488 0.05990 127 83 31 13
212 I have Dutch Masters. 1.4483 0.06519 116 78 24 14
213 It's easy. Just stick you head out the car window at about 65mph . 1.4483 0.06403 116 77 26 13
214 No, YOU look like a lamp shade. I look like a ballerina. 1.4480 0.05952 125 81 32 12
215 It's now a 'cone of esteem' 1.4463 0.05683 121 78 33 10
216 I guess we look pretty conical. 1.4463 0.05862 121 77 34 10
217 Why would you assume it goes that way? 1.4462 0.06086 130 87 28 15
218 Believe me, aerodynamics is a game-changer! 1.4460 0.05515 139 89 38 12
219 My human companion is dyslexic. 1.4454 0.06612 119 82 21 16
220 I'll text you the name of my veterinarian. 1.4453 0.06157 128 86 27 15
221 I got ordained while you were in the hospital. 1.4444 0.06243 117 77 28 12
222 Just don't look up when it rains. 1.4444 0.06126 126 84 28 14
223 This is nothing. You should see her umbrella. 1.4435 0.05948 115 73 33 9
224 Apparently I CAN learn new tricks. 1.4426 0.05826 122 78 34 10
225 After A Handmaid’s Tale, things changed. 1.4426 0.05941 122 79 32 11
226 I think it's a placebo. 1.4425 0.06151 113 73 30 10
227 It fogs up my glasses. 1.4419 0.05917 129 85 31 13
228 I can't lick my own nuts either, but at least I can lick yours. 1.4417 0.06239 120 80 27 13
229 First time? 1.4417 0.05893 120 77 33 10
230 I'm kind of an extrovert. 1.4417 0.05893 120 77 33 10
231 They say this way makes my butt look smaller 1.4414 0.06359 111 73 27 11
232 It’s business casual 1.4404 0.05746 109 72 28 9
233 As far as those hard-to-reach areas are concerned, maybe we could work out a deal. 1.4404 0.06443 109 72 26 11
234 My owners are huge RBG fans. 1.4404 0.06573 109 73 24 12
235 I was told it has a slimming effect. 1.4404 0.05746 109 67 36 6
236 I got the new iCone. 1.4400 0.05725 125 80 35 10
237 Together, there is no problem that we can't lick. 1.4400 0.05946 125 82 31 12
238 The tag said reversible. 1.4397 0.06512 116 79 23 14
239 I see someone forgot about casual Friday! 1.4386 0.05849 114 72 34 8
240 You tried eating yet? 1.4386 0.06109 114 74 30 10
241 Mine's not prescription, I just like the way it looks. 1.4386 0.05980 114 73 32 9
242 It’s my dissenting collar. 1.4380 0.05737 121 77 35 9
243 Take thee to a nunnery 1.4375 0.06314 112 74 27 11
244 I could never understand "less than" and "greater than" either. 1.4370 0.06160 119 79 28 12
245 So I told him I'll lick myself wherever I want. What's your story? 1.4364 0.06776 110 76 20 14
246 Deal. I scratch your butt, you scratch my ears. 1.4364 0.06396 110 73 26 11
247 I switch it around a block from the house. 1.4364 0.06652 110 75 22 13
248 Nah, I'm just a pilgrim. 1.4359 0.05994 117 76 31 10
249 The first time through the doggie door is the toughest 1.4359 0.05614 117 73 37 7
250 It’s called fashion, Kevin. 1.4355 0.06086 124 83 28 13
251 Bitches love it. 1.4352 0.06481 108 72 25 11
252 I’m Jewish. 1.4348 0.06780 115 81 18 16
253 I ate the instructions. 1.4340 0.06431 106 70 26 10
254 Apparently I had a better lawyer. 1.4340 0.06431 106 70 26 10
255 Does this make my tail look shorter? 1.4340 0.06146 106 68 30 8
256 I just don't believe the science. 1.4340 0.06838 106 73 20 13
257 I just got tired of hearing myself think. 1.4340 0.06431 106 70 26 10
258 Actually, my ancestors came over on the Mayflower. 1.4336 0.06143 113 74 29 10
259 Talk about windy! 1.4336 0.06143 113 74 29 10
260 So it’s backwards. What are you, the cone police? 1.4336 0.06517 113 77 23 13
261 Oh,they don't make me wear it. I just feel bad about my neck. 1.4333 0.06119 120 80 28 12
262 Yeah, and my owner wears his mask under his nose. 1.4324 0.06087 111 72 30 9
263 The vet is into reverse psychology. 1.4324 0.06220 111 73 28 10
264 You should see how their Ikea furniture turned out. 1.4324 0.06726 111 77 20 14
265 You must be Jewish 1.4322 0.06423 118 81 23 14
266 Morty you are such a traditionalist. 1.4322 0.06075 118 78 29 11
267 We can still kiss. 1.4312 0.06565 109 74 23 12
268 You just have to run through the doggie door really fast. 1.4310 0.06270 116 78 26 12
269 I got it on Amazon. You just flip it forward if someone comes into the room. I'll text you the link. 1.4309 0.06008 123 82 29 12
270 Careful, it's windy out there today. 1.4298 0.06191 121 82 26 13
271 No, no...on you it looks great. 1.4297 0.05730 128 84 33 11
272 I thought "Cone of Shame" was too negative. This is my "Collar of Confidence." 1.4286 0.06045 112 73 30 9
273 That is NOT how Fauci says to wear it. 1.4286 0.06610 105 71 23 11
274 Do I look thinner this way? 1.4286 0.06177 112 74 28 10
275 Are those noise canceling? 1.4286 0.06045 112 73 30 9
276 My analyst believes in reverse psychology. 1.4286 0.06327 105 69 27 9
277 Until you're vaccinated,you have to wear it that way. 1.4286 0.06882 105 73 19 13
278 They gave you the cone of shame? I got the collar of esteem. 1.4286 0.05794 119 77 33 9
279 It's called thinking outside the cone. 1.4286 0.06379 119 82 23 14
280 I use telemedicine 1.4286 0.06470 105 70 25 10
281 Pretty windy out. 1.4273 0.06255 110 73 27 10
282 I prefer this. It’s not so “Margaret Atwood”. 1.4272 0.06263 103 67 28 8
283 At least they get my food bowl right. 1.4259 0.06337 108 72 26 10
284 I still can't bite my stitches, but I can wear my earbuds again. 1.4259 0.06734 108 75 20 13
285 Reverse engineering. 1.4259 0.06337 108 72 26 10
286 It turns out I'm Jewish. Who knew? 1.4259 0.06605 108 74 22 12
287 I gotta guy who’ll do yours, no questions asked 1.4257 0.06347 101 66 27 8
288 I'm fine...but you should see the lamp! 1.4255 0.05625 141 95 32 14
289 It's an Yves Saint Bernard. Yours? 1.4252 0.05970 127 86 28 13
290 Are you coming or going? 1.4250 0.06111 120 81 27 12
291 I still can’t lick my butt but at least now I can lick yours 1.4248 0.06261 113 76 26 11
292 No, I don't hear an echo. 1.4234 0.06211 111 74 27 10
293 Sometimes innovation is indistinguishable from stupidity. 1.4234 0.06078 111 73 29 9
294 Good luck with the doggie door! 1.4234 0.06341 111 75 25 11
295 Turns out you can teach an old dog new tricks. 1.4231 0.06216 104 68 28 8
296 You don't ride in the car much, do you? 1.4220 0.05575 109 68 36 5
297 I got lucky; my owner is dyslexic. 1.4220 0.06015 109 71 30 8
298 Unlike the neutering, the collar is reversible. 1.4220 0.06291 109 78 18 13
299 He read the instructions and she put it on. 1.4219 0.06036 128 88 26 14
300 The dogs I follow on Instagram are wearing it this way now. 1.4219 0.06036 128 88 26 14
301 No, it’s a lampshade 1.4219 0.05933 128 87 28 13
302 I got it on Etsy. 1.4216 0.06299 102 67 27 8
303 Dyslexic owner 1.4216 0.06600 102 69 23 10
304 It's really improved my hindsight 1.4216 0.06451 102 68 25 9
305 Only seven Republicans voted that this was wrong, too. 1.4216 0.06745 102 70 21 11
306 This way I can still sniff your butt. 1.4215 0.06070 121 82 27 12
307 Right after dinner I go out and flip it around; they have no idea. 1.4215 0.06402 121 85 21 15
308 I’ll lick your balls if you’ll scratch my neck. 1.4215 0.06293 121 84 23 14
309 I was like you once. 1.4202 0.06026 119 80 28 11
310 I just told them "I'm a service dog - I need my peripheral vision" and they bought it! 1.4200 0.06989 100 70 18 12
311 No, I’m fine. I just joined a religious order. 1.4190 0.06459 105 71 24 10
312 Bitches dig it. 1.4190 0.06600 105 72 22 11
313 Sweet model! Is it noise-canceling, too!? 1.4190 0.06019 105 68 30 7
314 Hi. My name's Get-the-FU-K-off-the-Couch. What's yours? 1.4188 0.06564 117 83 19 15
315 The mandate just says I have to wear a cone. It doesn't say HOW I have to wear it. 1.4184 0.06310 98 64 27 7
316 I thought we were going as pilgrims, not handmaids. 1.4184 0.06635 98 66 23 9
317 It's reversible just like Lindsey Graham! 1.4184 0.06635 98 66 23 9
318 There are definite peripheral advantages, but to answer your question, no I still can't reach them. 1.4175 0.06548 103 70 23 10
319 Mine is reversible. 1.4175 0.06548 103 70 23 10
320 And that's why you don't put your head out of the car window. 1.4174 0.05791 115 75 32 8
321 My name is Otto too, but I spell it backwards. 1.4174 0.06049 115 77 28 10
322 Me? ...I was just ordained as an Anglican priest. 1.4167 0.06188 108 72 27 9
323 This is how Major Biden wears his. 1.4167 0.06188 108 72 27 9
324 Let’s pretend you’re from The Handmaid’s Tale and I’m from The Scarlet Letter!” 1.4167 0.06462 108 74 23 11
325 It’s not a great party until someone comes home with a lampshade on his head. 1.4167 0.06224 96 62 28 6
326 'Oh its fine like this , i got the vaccine' 1.4167 0.06724 108 76 19 13
327 Old dog, new trick 1.4167 0.06567 96 64 24 8
328 I'm no longer in recovery... Now I use it as a fashion statement. 1.4160 0.05586 125 82 34 9
329 Listen, just run as fast as you can through the doggie door. 1.4159 0.06499 113 79 21 13
330 Pretty windy out there. 1.4158 0.06335 101 67 26 8
331 I know...right? AND my owner doesn't wear a mask... 1.4158 0.06489 101 68 24 9
332 I know it's backward- but it reduces drag 1.4158 0.06489 101 68 24 9
333 But actually, we're exactly the same length! 1.4158 0.06932 101 71 18 12
334 It's considerably more aerodogmatic. 1.4153 0.05426 118 75 37 6
335 It turns out my master is dyslexic 1.4151 0.06269 106 71 26 9
336 They’re good providers, but they’re not the smartest. 1.4151 0.05666 106 67 34 5
337 Let me guess, your human doesn't know how to wear a mask, right? 1.4151 0.06269 106 71 26 9
338 I'm on parole! 1.4149 0.06311 94 61 27 6
339 Just put your head out of the window 1.4144 0.06331 111 76 24 11
340 I know it’s because you were neutered. For me it’s just a fashion statement” 1.4144 0.06067 111 74 28 9
341 I've caught the mailman everyday since I flipped this puppy around. 1.4141 0.06581 99 67 23 9
342 It’s the iCone 12! 1.4141 0.06260 99 65 27 7
343 It’s the new normal. 1.4141 0.06260 99 65 27 7
344 I can't remember much, but it was one wild party! 1.4138 0.05881 116 77 30 9
345 It works both ways. 1.4138 0.06131 116 79 26 11
346 My human calls me God...he's dyslexic 1.4135 0.06497 104 71 23 10
347 The Cat helped me. 1.4135 0.06051 104 68 29 7
348 You got the French Cuff...nice! 1.4135 0.06203 104 69 27 8
349 I like to think of "veterinarian's orders" to be more like, "suggested guidelines." 1.4135 0.06639 104 72 21 11
350 You are correct. The human I was assigned is a fucking moron. 1.4132 0.06393 121 86 20 15
351 I also like to bark up the wrong tree. 1.4128 0.06414 109 75 23 11
352 To keep you from licking your what...? 1.4124 0.06835 97 67 20 10
353 Mine lets you drink from the toilet! 1.4124 0.06346 97 64 26 7
354 Don't panic, your ass is still there. 1.4124 0.06513 97 65 24 8
355 Yeah? Well you look like a shuttlecock! 1.4124 0.06175 97 63 28 6
356 Oh, I got the Democratic collar. You got the Republican one. 1.4124 0.06835 97 67 20 10
357 I've always been bad with IKEA instructions. 1.4124 0.06676 97 66 22 9
358 I think you’ll find that you, my friend, are the one who looks ridiculous. 1.4124 0.06346 97 64 26 7
359 This is for when I'm riding in the car. 1.4118 0.06438 102 69 24 9
360 If it makes you feel any better, I’m pretty sure I got the placebo. 1.4118 0.06016 119 81 27 11
361 Don’t worry, even the humans don’t wear their protective gear correctly. 1.4118 0.06361 119 84 21 14
362 I don't trust "medical experts". 1.4118 0.06438 102 69 24 9
363 Bite me. 1.4118 0.06733 102 71 20 11
364 New vet? 1.4118 0.06286 102 68 26 8
365 Tell you what . . . you lick mine and I'll lick yours. 1.4118 0.06733 102 71 20 11
366 Yours says, "I lick myself." Mine says, "I like myself." 1.4118 0.06588 102 70 22 10
367 They left the car window open when we were driving home from the vet 1.4118 0.06733 102 71 20 11
368 I know a guy that can turn things around for you. 1.4107 0.06536 112 79 20 13
369 If you'll scratch my ears, I'll scratch your back! 1.4107 0.06536 112 79 20 13
370 You're such a dork, Dad. 1.4105 0.06775 95 65 21 9
371 It’s easier to get through the cat door 1.4105 0.06436 95 63 25 7
372 It’s my homage to RBG. 1.4105 0.06608 95 64 23 8
373 I wear mine religiously. 1.4105 0.06260 95 62 27 6
374 We found the vet on Groupon. Why do you ask? 1.4100 0.06211 100 66 27 7
375 I guess now we know the difference between private and public pet care 1.4100 0.06371 100 67 25 8
376 I ate a lamp So what’s your excuse 1.4098 0.06132 122 85 24 13
377 I can’t chew my butt, but at least I can still drink out of the toilet. 1.4098 0.05907 122 83 28 11
378 Can you hear me now? 1.4095 0.06725 105 74 19 12
379 You know, I woke up one morning, looked in the mirror and said to myself, "Rex, are you wearing the cone, or is the cone wearing you?" 1.4095 0.06157 105 70 27 8
380 Just run through the doggie door at 50 miles an hour. Works every time. 1.4095 0.06304 105 71 25 9
381 Let's pretend you're a nun and I'm a priest. 1.4095 0.06157 105 70 27 8
382 Easy. Just go through a cat door. 1.4094 0.05847 127 87 28 12
383 Either way you can't lick your butt. 1.4091 0.05890 110 75 26 9
384 Wait until you hit the highway—then stick your head out the window. 1.4086 0.06706 93 63 22 8
385 OK, so the second they take their eyes off of you, I'll show you exactly what to do. 1.4082 0.06460 98 66 24 8
386 Just get a vet who’s a dog. Problem solved. 1.4082 0.06460 98 66 24 8
387 Trust me, you don't want to see whats going on down there. 1.4082 0.06460 98 66 24 8
388 This is the first step of turning my life around. 1.4078 0.06535 103 71 22 10
389 Your human probably doesn’t wear his mask right either. 1.4078 0.06237 103 69 26 8
390 I call this look the RBG 1.4077 0.06050 130 92 23 15
391 Yup,new intern at the vets. What's worse is that the thermometer is still in there. 1.4074 0.06583 108 76 20 12
392 S’up bitch? 1.4074 0.06314 108 74 24 10
393 Wow, is that Victorian? 1.4071 0.05981 113 76 28 9
394 We were doing 80 on the highway, and I stuck my head out. 1.4068 0.06046 118 81 26 11
395 Turns out, those ones were designed by cats. 1.4066 0.07326 91 65 15 11
396 It's called "Oppositional Defiant Disorder". 1.4066 0.07157 91 64 17 10
397 This is my own interpretation. 1.4065 0.05637 123 82 32 9
398 Lucky me, I got the intern. 1.4062 0.06030 96 62 29 5
399 Do you think they'll notice we've broken the lamps? 1.4062 0.06718 96 66 21 9
400 I got a religious exemption. 1.4062 0.05915 128 89 26 13
401 My master is collar-blind. 1.4062 0.06879 96 67 19 10
402 With your head out the window at 60 mph, it makes all the difference. 1.4062 0.06552 96 65 23 8
403 I think it’s slimming 1.4062 0.06383 96 64 25 7
404 I’m so over self-harm. 1.4059 0.06163 101 67 27 7
405 It took some barking but in the end, I got my way. 1.4059 0.06163 101 67 27 7
406 You can't reach it with this one on either. 1.4059 0.06627 101 70 21 10
407 'Just stick your head out the car window' 1.4057 0.06537 106 74 21 11
408 Yours is a vet job. Mine is haute couture. 1.4057 0.06398 106 73 23 10
409 You get a better WiFi signal if you wear it this way. 1.4057 0.06110 106 71 27 8
410 Honestly, I find the Jacobean collar much more flattering on Zoom calls. 1.4052 0.05996 116 79 27 10
411 I have a HUGE favor to ask... 1.4043 0.06474 94 63 24 7
412 Oh, I wear mine ironically. 1.4043 0.06295 94 62 26 6
413 The instructions were in Hebrew. 1.4043 0.06984 94 66 18 10
414 No no. First you knock the lamp over, then you walk into it from the base UP!" 1.4043 0.06295 94 62 26 6
415 That was some party, eh? 1.4043 0.06474 94 63 24 7
416 Oh, yeah, it’s much more dynamic!” “Wow, I am flabbergasted. I can’t believe we’ve been wearing them backwards this whole time... 1.4043 0.06818 94 65 20 9
417 Well we can’t both be right. 1.4043 0.05920 94 60 30 4
418 I got mine from the lamp. 1.4040 0.06408 99 67 24 8
419 You look like Handmaid's Tale. I look like Wonder Woman. That's the difference. 1.4040 0.06245 99 66 26 7
420 Uh oh, here she comes! Just kidding. 1.4040 0.06408 99 67 24 8
421 WOW I LOVE YOUR RETRO STYLE! 1.4040 0.06722 99 69 20 10
422 How quaint! You have the old collar design. This is the newest from Paris. 1.4040 0.06408 99 67 24 8
423 next time alert me before you sneeze 1.4040 0.06874 99 70 18 11
424 I stuck my head out the car window like I normally do, next thing I knew, whoosh. 1.4040 0.06567 99 68 22 9
425 I know after the neutering we have less energy, but this way at least I'm more aerodynamic.. 1.4038 0.06190 104 70 26 8
426 I slipped the vet $20. 1.4037 0.06130 109 74 26 9
427 My vet used to work at NASA. 1.4037 0.06130 109 74 26 9
428 No. I'm in the ministry. 1.4037 0.05846 109 72 30 7
429 Mine’s bespoke 1.4022 0.05998 92 59 29 4
430 You just have to find wrought-iron fence with the right spacing and take a run at it. 1.4022 0.06384 92 61 25 6
431 My owner is dyslexic. 1.4021 0.06661 97 67 21 9
432 It's easy. Just adjust your privacy setting. 1.4021 0.06821 97 68 19 10
433 I just waited till we got on the thruway, stuck my head out the window, and bang! Snapped right back. 1.4021 0.06159 97 64 27 6
434 You really should get a second opinion. 1.4021 0.06661 97 67 21 9
435 They took my dignity, but they can never have my flair. 1.4021 0.06498 97 66 23 8
436 If my butt smelled like yours I would wear that lamp shade backwards too! 1.4021 0.06821 97 68 19 10
437 So if you can just go ahead and scratch my nose I’ll be more than happy to lick those stitches of yours 1.4021 0.06661 97 67 21 9
438 I’m an influencer 1.4021 0.05982 97 63 29 5
439 Nobody pops their collar anymore, dad! 1.4021 0.06661 97 67 21 9
440 I’m gender mischievous, you? 1.4020 0.06272 102 69 25 8
441 Well you can still kiss mine. 1.4020 0.06720 102 72 19 11
442 I notice I get a better signal this way 1.4020 0.06424 102 70 23 9
443 Either way,we can’t reach it. 1.4019 0.06349 107 74 23 10
444 I decided my diagnosis wouldn’t define me. 1.4019 0.06209 107 73 25 9
445 I just had to promise them I wouldn’t lick my butt in front of company. 1.4000 0.06085 110 75 26 9
446 That's a hell of sneeze you got there buddy. 1.4000 0.06419 95 64 24 7
447 I say we're a perfect fit. 1.4000 0.06290 105 72 24 9
448 My owner never reads instructions. 1.4000 0.06290 105 72 24 9
449 Don't worry, I can lick your balls 1.4000 0.07083 95 68 16 11
450 What do you mean: 'that's like wearing my mask beneath my nose'? 1.4000 0.06477 90 60 24 6
451 My vet graduated from Trump University. 1.4000 0.06923 95 67 18 10
452 Just stick your head out the window and when she hits the onramp, boom! It'll happen. 1.4000 0.06151 115 80 24 11
453 No, I'm not just being different, I just got tired of walking through the dog door backwards. 1.4000 0.06419 95 64 24 7
454 I wear it this way so my owner looks like the idiot. 1.4000 0.06026 115 79 26 10
455 I call it thinking outside the cone. 1.4000 0.06195 100 67 26 7
456 Obviously you're still thinking inside the cone. 1.4000 0.06477 90 60 24 6
457 I can only imagine how your owner wears his mask. 1.4000 0.06356 100 68 24 8
458 All cones matter 1.4000 0.06356 100 68 24 8
459 If you hit their shins enough with it they’ll change it i promise 1.4000 0.06356 100 68 24 8
460 "..so I stuck my head out the car window.. 1.3981 0.06374 103 71 23 9
461 I liked The Flying Nun better than TheHandmaid'sTale. 1.3981 0.06521 103 72 21 10
462 My owner is in to alternative medicine. 1.3980 0.06763 98 69 19 10
463 Can I help you scratch somewhere? 1.3980 0.06279 98 66 25 7
464 I got ordained. 1.3980 0.05755 98 68 23 7
465 I take after my human on these things. She wears her mask under her nose. 1.3980 0.06279 98 66 25 7
466 My bark doesn't carry like it used to. 1.3978 0.06512 93 63 23 7
467 It's totally legal in Florida. 1.3978 0.06512 93 63 23 7
468 My pet parent is a moron. 1.3978 0.06142 93 61 27 5
469 I prefer the innie rather than the outie. 1.3978 0.06142 93 61 27 5
470 You need to show them who's boss. 1.3978 0.06512 93 63 23 7
471 Yeah, I know. My owner doesn’t know how to put his own mask on either. 1.3977 0.06769 88 60 21 7
472 You see, I'm the Avant-Garde Dog. 1.3977 0.06959 88 61 19 8
473 Yeah, yeah. I know my guy wears a mask on his chin 1.3977 0.06769 88 60 21 7
474 I thought they asked if I wanted a bone 1.3977 0.07325 88 63 15 10
475 I find it works better this way for Zoom meetings. 1.3964 0.06306 111 78 22 11
476 No, it’s on right. I entered the priesthood. 1.3962 0.06096 106 72 26 8
477 I know I'm not social distancing, but I missed the smells. 1.3962 0.05308 106 67 36 3
478 My veterinarian is Australian. 1.3962 0.05947 106 71 28 7
479 Just trying to make fetch happen 1.3962 0.05475 106 73 26 7
480 No problem, just stick your head out the car window. 1.3960 0.07047 101 74 14 13
481 It's my tribute to RBG. 1.3960 0.06760 101 72 18 11
482 Surgery? This my dog bowl... 1.3960 0.06461 101 70 22 9
483 When they roll down the window, stick your head out. 1.3958 0.06536 96 66 22 8
484 The aerodynamics when I stick my head out the window now are amazing! 1.3958 0.06536 96 66 22 8
485 You don't need to avoid watching the news any longer,Trump's gone. 1.3958 0.06863 96 68 18 10
486 It was fine until we got on the highway. 1.3956 0.06227 91 60 26 5
487 Next time ask for the new guy. 1.3956 0.06420 91 61 24 6
488 I see you're still wearing last season's cone. 1.3956 0.06608 91 62 22 7
489 It’s not on backwards! It’s a lampshade and I’m drunk! 1.3956 0.06608 91 62 22 7
490 I’ve been seeing an alternative veterinarian. 1.3956 0.06608 91 62 22 7
491 Don't go outside, it's windy as hell. 1.3956 0.06967 91 64 18 9
492 Do you believe in destiny? 1.3956 0.06790 91 63 20 8
493 But, I can still reach my nuts! 1.3956 0.07141 91 65 16 10
494 You know, my human wears his mask on his chin 1.3956 0.06608 91 62 22 7
495 Squirrel at the lampshade store 1.3953 0.06674 86 58 22 6
496 Because it makes me look thinner! 1.3950 0.05993 119 83 25 11
497 You should see where he put the thermometer. 1.3945 0.05832 109 73 29 7
498 What I lose in efficacy I've regained in quality of life. 1.3942 0.06021 104 70 27 7
499 Wicked wind! 1.3942 0.06324 104 72 23 9
500 Windy day! 1.3939 0.06551 99 69 21 9
501 I refuse to suffer for fashion 1.3939 0.06061 99 66 27 6
502 Don't you love that it's reversible? 1.3939 0.06392 99 68 23 8
503 Don’t go down 5th Avenue, way too windy 1.3939 0.06392 99 70 20 9
504 It’s that wonderful, head-out-the-window kinda feeling. 1.3939 0.06392 99 68 23 8
505 It's called alternative medicine." 1.3937 0.06037 127 91 22 14
506 I hid the directions. 1.3936 0.06801 94 66 19 9
507 I find this more aerodynamic when chasing squirrels! 1.3936 0.05703 94 60 31 3
508 I'm having the lobster. 1.3936 0.06456 94 64 23 7
509 You look so sad. What can I lick for you? 1.3934 0.05768 122 84 28 10
510 .....and I was walking headlong into this blast of wind. 1.3933 0.06707 89 61 21 7
511 Yes, she does drive a convertible. How did you guess? 1.3933 0.06707 89 61 21 7
512 I just wear mine as a conversation starter. 1.3933 0.06707 89 61 21 7
513 Rottweiler-Glechon-Beagle. But you can call me RGB. 1.3933 0.06514 89 60 23 6
514 I turned it into a bib. 1.3933 0.06895 89 62 19 8
515 Just think of it like a baseball cap. It’s cool if you wear it backwards! 1.3933 0.06110 89 58 27 4
516 I know it's unconventional, but my vet also has a degree in physics. 1.3933 0.06895 89 62 19 8
517 Race you to the park? 1.3933 0.06514 89 60 23 6
518 You will have to speak louder. 1.3926 0.05473 135 93 31 11
519 Lucky for me, my human never reads the instruction manual. 1.3925 0.05902 107 72 28 7
520 I flip mine every 2 hours to get a nice, even tan. 1.3925 0.06607 107 77 18 12
521 ...And what pronouns do you use? 1.3925 0.06194 107 74 24 9
522 ... so just try it, you'll never look back! 1.3922 0.05937 102 68 28 6
523 They took your manhood, don’t let them take your style too 1.3922 0.06098 102 69 26 7
524 This is nothing. You should see how my owner wears his mask. 1.3918 0.06645 97 68 20 9
525 It’s not what you wear. It’s how you wear it. 1.3918 0.06313 97 66 24 7
526 You say poTAYto, and I say poTAHto. 1.3918 0.06804 97 69 18 10
527 I find that I get better mileage. 1.3918 0.05963 97 64 28 5
528 Does it improve your hearing when you wear it that way? 1.3918 0.06481 97 67 22 8
529 Hey! You're coneservative,huh? 1.3918 0.06141 97 65 26 6
530 You've got to know how to ask. 1.3913 0.06012 115 80 25 10
531 Yours says 'Cone of Shame.' Mine says 'Life of the Party.' 1.3913 0.06729 92 64 20 8
532 It totally cuts down on wind drag. 1.3913 0.06365 92 62 24 6
533 The aerodynamics alone make it a game changer. 1.3913 0.06365 92 62 24 6
534 I’ve been hanging out the car window all day 1.3913 0.06729 92 64 20 8
535 I don't do doggie style. 1.3913 0.06729 92 64 20 8
536 Yeah, I know it's backwards, but my owners also refuse to wear masks. 1.3913 0.06550 92 63 22 7
537 But it’s casual Friday 1.3913 0.05341 115 75 35 5
538 I think I got Moderna. 1.3913 0.06729 92 64 20 8
539 I run really really fast 1.3913 0.06905 92 65 18 9
540 It’s always “sit” and “stay” but never “innovate” 1.3913 0.06550 92 63 22 7
541 It's all behind me now. 1.3913 0.06174 92 61 26 5
542 Apparently I have gas. 1.3909 0.06207 110 77 23 10
543 My owners are into alternative medicine 1.3908 0.06195 87 57 26 4
544 I got tired of all the petting. 1.3908 0.07005 87 61 18 8
545 Don't tell me, it's on backwards isn't it... 1.3908 0.05975 87 56 28 3
546 Yeah, I can see better but I still can't lick my balls. 1.3906 0.05997 128 92 22 14
547 Just stick your head out the car window like you normally would and... voila. 1.3905 0.05975 105 71 27 7
548 You’re missing the point, I didn’t just take it off, I inverted it! 1.3905 0.06127 105 72 25 8
549 It’s more slimming, don’t you think? 1.3905 0.05975 105 71 27 7
550 I don't quite understand myself. I was chasing my tail. I caught it. And now I think I'm inside out. 1.3900 0.06178 100 68 25 7
551 I'm going into the seminary. 1.3900 0.06340 100 69 23 8
552 No, I've not been to the vet, I'm the vicar's dog 1.3895 0.06401 95 65 23 7
553 My vet got really freaked out by The Handmaid's Tale. 1.3895 0.06574 95 66 21 8
554 I attacked the lampshade from below 1.3895 0.06224 95 64 25 6
555 The vet? No, I knocked the lamp over. 1.3895 0.06906 95 68 17 10
556 You want me to lick what? 1.3895 0.06401 95 65 23 7
557 It's after Labor Day. 1.3895 0.06906 95 68 17 10
558 Same concept. More aerodynamic. 1.3895 0.05658 95 61 31 3
559 You should see what they did to Schrödinger's cat. 1.3895 0.06574 95 66 21 8
560 ...And I love that it's reversible, don't you? 1.3889 0.06147 108 75 24 9
561 Either way--it scares the hell out of cats! 1.3889 0.06832 90 63 19 8
562 My vet’s dyslectic! 1.3889 0.06647 90 62 21 7
563 Next time you are in the car, stick your head out the window. 1.3889 0.05743 126 88 27 11
564 It doesn’t fog up my glasses this way 1.3889 0.06647 90 62 21 7
565 Let me guess: The Handmaid's Tale? 1.3889 0.06832 90 63 19 8
566 We’re calling it the funnel of pride now. Cone of shame was tested very negatively with our focus groups. 1.3889 0.06286 108 76 22 10
567 I know it’s wrong but my owner is dyslexic 1.3883 0.06358 103 72 22 9
568 Better visibility, but just as hard to lick anything important. 1.3883 0.06051 103 70 26 7
569 My owner smokes a lot of weed. 1.3883 0.06650 103 74 18 11
570 This has really boosted my mileage. 1.3883 0.06358 103 72 22 9
571 This is how the dogs in Paris are wearing them. 1.3883 0.06051 103 70 26 7
572 You know me; the window was down and when he sped up to 60, voila. 1.3883 0.05891 103 69 28 6
573 I’ve joined a different order. 1.3883 0.06358 103 72 22 9
574 Oh, that’s why insurance wouldn’t cover mine. 1.3883 0.05728 103 68 30 5
575 It has to do with 5G. 1.3883 0.06358 103 72 22 9
576 If you walk backwards, they don't even notice. 1.3882 0.06714 85 58 21 6
577 So,you went with satellite dish ... 1.3882 0.06920 85 59 19 7
578 I chased the cat out the doggy door. 1.3879 0.05843 116 80 27 9
579 All the cool canines are doing it, Dad. 1.3878 0.05916 98 65 28 5
580 I do want to support you. I just don't see why we both need to be miserable. 1.3878 0.06427 98 68 22 8
581 Try it. Your car will get 10% better gas mileage. 1.3878 0.06901 98 71 16 11
582 I’ll give you his number. Most accommodating vet you’ll ever meet. 1.3871 0.06492 93 64 22 7
583 Go to Youtube, key in 'canine cone reversal' and click on top tutorial. 1.3871 0.06492 93 64 22 7
584 Well, this is how we wear them in Florida. 1.3871 0.06670 93 65 20 8
585 « It’s an homage to RBG. » 1.3871 0.06492 93 64 22 7
586 Trust me, it's very slimming 1.3871 0.06122 93 62 26 5
587 Next time slip your vet a $20. 1.3871 0.06310 93 63 24 6
588 I call it a Ginsberg collar... 1.3871 0.05727 93 60 30 3
589 My ancestor was on the Mayflower 1.3871 0.06492 93 64 22 7
590 I find it reduces the roaring in your ears 1.3871 0.06492 93 64 22 7
591 This is actually the way the CDC recommends it 1.3871 0.06670 93 65 20 8
592 They put the toilet paper on backwards too. 1.3868 0.05930 106 72 27 7
593 I negotiated. 1.3868 0.06080 106 73 25 8
594 Why do they love dressing us in lampshades? 1.3868 0.06080 106 73 25 8
595 Well, I think Justice Ginsburg would have really liked it. 1.3868 0.05930 106 72 27 7
596 It's the latest thing -- aerodynamically designed and provides better peripheral vision. 1.3866 0.05483 119 80 32 7
597 I heard they wear it this way in Europe! 1.3864 0.06349 88 59 24 5
598 My owner is an anti-masker. What did you expect? 1.3864 0.06939 88 62 18 8
599 Hello, what are your pronouns? 1.3864 0.06349 88 59 24 5
600 Is your owner a Veterinarian? Mine's a Priest. 1.3864 0.06939 88 62 18 8
601 You got what I had. 1.3864 0.06033 88 60 23 5
602 Dude, you won't believe how windy it is outside. 1.3864 0.06748 88 61 20 7
603 Yes,I did get dressed in the dark this morning. Why do you ask? 1.3861 0.06129 101 69 25 7
604 Just got neutered, huh? I'm here 'cause I ate a lamp. 1.3861 0.06596 101 72 19 10
605 All I did was stick my head out the car window. 1.3861 0.06288 101 70 23 8
606 She did fall for "it's backwards day" again. 1.3861 0.06744 101 73 17 11
607 And then he said that I still had two more wishes left. 1.3855 0.07033 83 58 18 7
608 Very conical. 1.3855 0.07239 83 59 16 8
609 I prefer to be seen as an influencer 1.3855 0.07033 83 58 18 7
610 Have you already started watching The Handmaid's Tale? 1.3855 0.07033 83 58 18 7
611 It serves the same purpose but this way I can still bite people. 1.3854 0.06684 96 68 19 9
612 I know, I know. I just don’t have the balls to tell them. 1.3854 0.07159 96 71 13 12
613 Okay, you're a nun and I'm a pilgrim. The safeword is 'milkbones.' 1.3854 0.07004 96 70 15 11
614 Yeah, it’s a complete paradigm shift. 1.3854 0.06684 96 68 19 9
615 It gives me the illusion of speed. 1.3854 0.05992 96 64 27 5
616 Just stick your head out of the window on your next ride. 1.3854 0.06601 96 70 16 10
617 I find it more slimming ! 1.3846 0.06587 91 63 21 7
618 Let’s work together You scratch mine I’ll scratch yours 1.3846 0.06004 104 71 26 7
619 And you still wonder why I'm the alpha around here? 1.3846 0.06587 91 63 21 7
620 This is the Puritan style 1.3846 0.06948 91 65 17 9
621 ...and that’s how I got through the dog door. 1.3846 0.06006 91 60 27 4
622 I’m going with the Puritan look for spring. 1.3846 0.06158 104 72 24 8
623 How's that working for you with the doggie door? 1.3846 0.06587 91 63 21 7
624 That is so conical.. 1.3846 0.06587 91 63 21 7
625 I promised not to lick 1.3839 0.05915 112 80 22 10
626 Actually, mine is just a lamp shade. 1.3838 0.06210 99 68 24 7
627 Try sticking your head out the car window. 1.3838 0.06374 99 69 22 8
628 I told them it looked better this way and they fell for it. Need a lick? 1.3838 0.06689 99 71 18 10
629 My owner calls it the Cone of Embracing Vulnerability. 1.3838 0.06210 99 68 24 7
630 Now they are saying two cones might actually be better. 1.3837 0.06442 86 58 23 5
631 No, I won’t lick it for you. 1.3837 0.06651 86 59 21 6
632 It's still shameful. But it's slimming. 1.3830 0.06436 94 65 22 7
633 You have to think outside the cone. 1.3830 0.06611 94 66 20 8
634 You don't get out much, do you? 1.3830 0.06256 94 64 24 6
635 Can we just agree to disagree? 1.3830 0.06256 94 64 24 6
636 This is the cone of self-actualization. 1.3830 0.06611 94 66 20 8
637 Keep your head inside the car. 1.3830 0.06611 94 66 20 8
638 So...you're an introvert? 1.3830 0.06436 94 65 22 7
639 Yes, that’s very nice, but I prefer the Ruth Bader Ginsburg style. 1.3830 0.06256 94 64 24 6
640 Mine is the RBG model. 1.3828 0.05882 128 92 23 13
641 Yours is for introverts. 1.3827 0.07364 81 58 15 8
642 I got the idea from Ruth Bader Ginsberg. 1.3827 0.06932 81 56 19 6
643 I'm thinking outside of the cone. 1.3827 0.07151 81 57 17 7
644 Thank, God, I can still lick my balls. 1.3826 0.06247 115 83 20 12
645 If you walk into their legs enough they'll flip it for you, too. 1.3824 0.06238 102 73 20 9
646 That was a hell of a party! Sorry you ended up getting neutered. 1.3824 0.06080 102 70 25 7
647 It’s 2021 Tom, live a little. 1.3824 0.05752 102 68 29 5
648 It’s easy. You do the hokey pokey and you turn the cone around. 1.3824 0.06080 102 70 25 7
649 Didn't get the memo huh? 1.3820 0.06492 89 61 22 6
650 Мy owner considers reading instructions beneath his dignity. 1.3820 0.06874 89 63 18 8
651 It's for formal events. 1.3820 0.06686 89 62 20 7
652 Yeah, my guy believes in alternative medicine 1.3820 0.06874 89 63 18 8
653 You’ve just gotta broaden your horizons, bro. 1.3820 0.06492 89 61 22 6
654 So you scratch my back, and I’ll scratch yours? 1.3820 0.06292 89 60 24 5
655 So I gave up being a handmaid and became a nun.....not much difference really 1.3820 0.06292 89 65 16 8
656 Mine's just a fashion tribute to the late, great Justice Ruff Bader Ginsburg. 1.3814 0.06294 97 67 23 7
657 My vet practices alternative medicine. 1.3810 0.07556 84 62 12 10
658 If my owner can wear his mask under his nose, I can do this! 1.3810 0.05802 105 71 28 6
659 Just hold your nose and blow. 1.3810 0.06110 105 73 24 8
660 ...I know, mine was government issued. 1.3810 0.06539 84 57 22 5
661 I'll lick your butt, if you'll scratch my nose. 1.3810 0.06110 105 73 24 8
662 It's reversible! Who knew?! 1.3810 0.05802 105 71 28 6
663 It’s after 6. 1.3810 0.06755 84 58 20 6
664 It does wonders for my double chin. 1.3810 0.06755 84 58 20 6
665 I can get through doors like a boss. i just can't back up! 1.3810 0.06316 84 56 24 4
666 I think I figured it out 1.3810 0.06316 84 56 24 4
667 I know, I know... my owner is dyslexic! 1.3804 0.07056 92 67 15 10
668 You say cone of shame. I say collar of awesomeness! 1.3804 0.06152 92 62 25 5
669 Wait till you go for a drive and stick your head out the window. 1.3804 0.06529 92 64 21 7
670 You're right, you look stupid. 1.3800 0.06159 100 69 24 7
671 Does this make my neck look longer? 1.3800 0.06321 100 70 22 8
672 I don't know what you're weaing, but mine's a lamp shade. 1.3800 0.06159 100 69 24 7
673 Fauci says this way is better. 1.3800 0.06633 100 72 18 10
674 Yeah...they're dyslexic. 1.3800 0.06159 100 69 24 7
675 It's cut five minutes off my commute. 1.3800 0.06159 100 69 24 7
676 No, I can’t lick mine either. 1.3800 0.06159 100 69 24 7
677 So who's gonna sniff what? 1.3797 0.06814 79 54 20 5
678 Yours, Elizabethan. Mine, Dutch renaissance. 1.3797 0.06814 79 54 20 5
679 Zoom vet appointments rock. 1.3796 0.06131 108 76 23 9
680 I just can’t breathe as well when I wear it the right way! 1.3796 0.05537 108 77 23 8
681 You need to think outside the cone. 1.3796 0.06131 108 76 23 9
682 Told you my owner’s an idiot. 1.3796 0.06541 108 79 17 12
683 Haven't I taught you anything about being cool? 1.3793 0.06983 87 62 17 8
684 Docking sequence initiated. 1.3793 0.06383 87 59 23 5
685 And then it got REALLY windy. 1.3793 0.06983 87 62 17 8
686 He never reads the instructions 1.3793 0.05955 116 82 24 10
687 It comes off completely once I get the second vaccine shot. 1.3793 0.06983 87 62 17 8
688 Inversion therapy. I feel so liberated. You should try it. 1.3793 0.06983 87 62 17 8
689 I'm entering the convent so I can't see you anymore. 1.3793 0.06383 87 59 23 5
690 ...I live in Brooklyn now 1.3793 0.06589 87 60 21 6
691 Yeah, I saw it on TikTok 1.3793 0.07535 87 65 11 11
692 'I was just tired of the echo, mate!" 1.3793 0.06589 87 60 21 6
693 Insurance covered the materials, but not the labor. 1.3793 0.06383 87 59 23 5
694 OK, watch again. I'll do it slowly. 1.3789 0.06203 95 65 24 6
695 Who's to say everyone else isn't wearing it wrong. 1.3789 0.06203 95 65 24 6
696 It's easy! Just stick your head out the window. 1.3789 0.06554 95 67 20 8
697 Just freshening up my Zoom look a little. 1.3789 0.06381 95 66 22 7
698 I'm a lucky dog. My vet is dyslexic! 1.3789 0.06723 95 68 18 9
699 My veterinarian believes in reverse psychology. 1.3786 0.06634 103 75 17 11
700 Now can you hear me? 1.3786 0.05539 103 68 31 4
701 Don't look up when it rains. 1.3786 0.06340 103 73 21 9
702 No wonder you're getting better reception 1.3786 0.06033 103 71 25 7
703 Monday vs. Friday 1.3780 0.06640 82 56 21 5
704 They say to save the K9-95s for emotional support dogs. 1.3780 0.06863 82 57 19 6
705 Next time you're on the freeway just stick your head out the window. 1.3778 0.07168 90 66 14 10
706 Yeah, I upgraded from the Cone of Shame to the Cone of Triumph. 1.3778 0.06811 90 64 18 8
707 I was going more for an RBG look. 1.3778 0.06237 90 61 24 5
708 What are you looking at? You've never seen an innie before? 1.3778 0.06434 90 62 22 6
709 It was the vet tech's first day on the job. I didn't have the heart. 1.3778 0.06434 90 62 22 6
710 You can flip that thing around after your second vaccination. 1.3778 0.06033 90 60 26 4
711 Yes, it is windy outside. How'd you know? 1.3778 0.06237 90 61 24 5
712 Don' t look up in a rain storm. 1.3778 0.05823 90 61 25 4
713 I thought with Spring coming around I'd opt for the convertible model 1.3778 0.06530 90 65 17 8
714 I joined the ministry. 1.3778 0.06625 90 63 20 7
715 I'm fine, it's just a lampshade from the kennel office party. 1.3776 0.06728 98 71 17 10
716 That was some windstorm! 1.3776 0.06570 98 70 19 9
717 My owners are anti-maskers. 1.3776 0.06728 98 71 17 10
718 They give me a nice warm home and they feed me but they really are stupid. 1.3774 0.05912 106 73 26 7
719 I suppose I could lick them for you just this once. 1.3774 0.06062 106 74 24 8
720 One hellava New Year's party, eh? 1.3772 0.05487 114 77 31 6
721 I had a say in the matter 1.3765 0.06477 85 58 22 5
722 Is this a great synchronicity or what? We were meant to meet. 1.3765 0.06029 85 56 26 3
723 Mine also came in red but I couldn't tell the difference. 1.3765 0.06896 85 60 18 7
724 'Well, at least I don't collect rainwater.' 1.3765 0.06477 85 58 22 5
725 I stood in front of a fan for two hours 1.3765 0.07096 85 61 16 8
726 I wanted something that would bring out my eyes. 1.3765 0.06029 85 56 26 3
727 Everything changed when I realized you can roll down the window yourself! 1.3765 0.07291 85 62 14 9
728 Actually, it makes me faster. 1.3765 0.06690 85 59 20 6
729 Despite appearances, I'm listening. 1.3763 0.06099 93 63 25 5
730 If you saw the way my human wears his hat you would understand. 1.3763 0.06649 93 66 19 8
731 So I take it you haven't gotten your vaccine yet. 1.3763 0.06649 93 66 19 8
732 You look ridiculous, I told you not to go to a walk-in clinic. 1.3763 0.06471 93 65 21 7
733 It's completely changed my perspective. 1.3763 0.06649 93 66 19 8
734 Aerodynamically superior at the car window. 1.3763 0.06471 93 65 21 7
735 It's Prada 1.3762 0.05946 101 69 26 6
736 You were playing with a lamp too? 1.3762 0.06872 101 75 14 12
737 And it really cuts down on wind resistance. 1.3762 0.05603 101 67 30 4
738 I didn't have surgery. I just think I look cool! 1.3761 0.06222 109 78 21 10
739 Haven't heard this well in years. 1.3750 0.06497 96 68 20 8
740 I get walked on the road less traveled. 1.3750 0.06497 96 68 20 8
741 My owner doesn't wear his mask over his nose either! 1.3750 0.07199 80 57 16 7
742 You can't believe how windy it was! 1.3750 0.06725 88 62 19 7
743 No - just Google it - the instructions are online. 1.3750 0.06139 104 73 23 8
744 I just asked. 1.3750 0.07199 80 57 16 7
745 We're Quakers. 1.3750 0.05498 104 69 31 4
746 Yes, of course, it cost extra. 1.3750 0.06917 88 63 17 8
747 My people haven't noticed yet. Want me to lick that for you? 1.3750 0.06917 88 63 17 8
748 Gesundheit, and thank you. 1.3750 0.07292 96 73 10 13
749 I’m a pilgrim. Let me guess: you’re a lampshade? 1.3750 0.06826 96 70 16 10
750 My vet's into alternative medicine 1.3750 0.06528 88 61 21 6
751 This way's better on a windy day. 1.3750 0.06151 96 66 24 6
752 My human drinks. 1.3750 0.06506 80 54 22 4
753 I am Beldar, I come from France 1.3750 0.06000 80 52 26 2
754 I'm not injured, just starved for attention. 1.3750 0.06917 88 63 17 8
755 It was slowing me down” 1.3750 0.06290 104 74 21 9
756 See what slipping the vet a $20 gets ya? 1.3737 0.06190 99 69 23 7
757 Your vet is an idiot. 1.3737 0.06354 99 70 21 8
758 I still can't get to mine, but I'd be happy to take care of yours! 1.3737 0.06354 99 70 21 8
759 Actually, it's a ruff. 1.3737 0.06021 99 68 25 6
760 Well, MY family came over on the Mayflower! 1.3737 0.06354 99 70 21 8
761 I am starting a revolution. 1.3737 0.06021 99 68 25 6
762 Admit it, we’re cut out for each other! 1.3737 0.06021 99 68 25 6
763 Your human doesn't wear a mask properly, does he? 1.3736 0.06376 91 63 22 6
764 The key is to find a good headwind. 1.3736 0.06748 91 65 18 8
765 Well, I’m an Australian Shepherd so our cones go the other way. 1.3736 0.06748 91 65 18 8
766 You'll see. Just open that car window ... You only make that mistake once! 1.3736 0.06376 91 63 22 6
767 The wind was just awful out there today. 1.3736 0.06376 91 63 22 6
768 I can't scratch my ears, but at least I can lick myself. 1.3736 0.06565 91 64 20 7
769 I'm telling you, ever since I made the switch I've been reading more, eating healthy, working on my self affirmations, keeping in touch with my parents – I was hesitant too at first, but you really gotta try this one out. 1.3736 0.06565 91 64 20 7
770 Dude, it's about aerodynamics. 1.3735 0.06112 83 55 25 3
771 I don’t know... It depends on how you handle it. 1.3735 0.06112 83 55 25 3
772 It's backwards day at my kennel. 1.3735 0.06795 83 58 19 6
773 I mean it is more aerodynamic, but I still can’t sniff my butt 1.3735 0.07415 83 61 13 9
774 I sprained my neck in the Iditarod, you? 1.3727 0.06038 110 78 23 9
775 It all comes down to function verses fashion. 1.3727 0.05899 110 77 25 8
776 „Well, I was strolling around the internet yesterday and came across this very interesting article on Feng Shui.“ 1.3727 0.06309 110 80 19 11
777 I tried that- I kept getting blown into the back seat. 1.3725 0.06061 102 71 24 7
778 Stick your head out the window as far as you can. 1.3725 0.06671 102 75 16 11
779 Going 60 with my head out the window, that's how. 1.3725 0.06373 102 73 20 9
780 Hey, yours is an outie! 1.3725 0.06219 102 72 22 8
781 Look on the bright side. At least you can still drag your butt across the carpet. 1.3725 0.06219 102 72 22 8
782 Wow! You are a cone half empty kind of person, aren't you? 1.3725 0.06061 102 71 24 7
783 Nah, I just poked my head into a lamp. 1.3723 0.06590 94 67 19 8
784 I heard on Fox News this is better than the vaccine 1.3723 0.06590 94 67 19 8
785 We'll don't you look stupid. 1.3723 0.06590 94 67 19 8
786 I got it at IKEA and put it together myself. Why? 1.3723 0.06414 94 66 21 7
787 I've been studying aerodynamics. 1.3723 0.06047 94 64 25 5
788 All you have to do is find a really small doggie door. 1.3723 0.06414 94 66 21 7
789 He also puts food in the water bowl 1.3723 0.06590 94 67 19 8
790 My owner wears his mask under his nose 1.3721 0.06829 86 61 18 7
791 No, you look great! Off-the-shoulder really suits you. 1.3721 0.06626 86 60 20 6
792 - This is how they are styling it these days. 1.3721 0.06416 86 59 22 5
793 It's the equivalent of a human wearing a mask under their nose. 1.3721 0.07219 86 63 14 9
794 You're Elizabethan, I'm Puritan. 1.3721 0.06416 86 59 22 5
795 I don’t mind it, I actually find it quite slimming. 1.3721 0.06829 86 61 18 7
796 ...they told me it’s called a lobotomy - what did you get done?! 1.3721 0.06416 86 59 22 5
797 As Quakers we try to avoid doggerl. 1.3718 0.07093 78 55 17 6
798 I have a job interview 1.3717 0.05922 113 80 24 9
799 The homework I ate was about dyslexia. 1.3714 0.06527 105 77 17 11
800 Have you heard my vet’s been sued for malpractice? 1.3714 0.06091 105 74 23 8
801 Oh nothing like that, I just broke a lamp. 1.3711 0.05920 97 66 26 5
802 Does my bum look big in this? 1.3711 0.06099 97 67 24 6
803 You didn't know they're reversible? 1.3711 0.06099 97 67 24 6
804 Mine’s a Tesla 1.3711 0.06442 97 69 20 8
805 I really feel like I've turned things around. 1.3711 0.05920 97 66 26 5
806 this will improve your mileage immensely 1.3711 0.05920 97 66 26 5
807 I didn't go to the vet, I went to the nunnery. 1.3711 0.06273 97 68 22 7
808 I just wish I'd stuck my head out the window sooner. 1.3711 0.06606 97 70 18 9
809 Wearing it that way is sooo last season 1.3711 0.06099 97 67 24 6
810 Come on Boomer, you’ve got to think out of the cone! 1.3710 0.05117 124 91 23 10
811 My vet did undergrad at the New School. 1.3708 0.06468 89 62 21 6
812 It's more slimming if you wear it this way. 1.3708 0.06060 89 60 25 4
813 My master works in fashion. 1.3708 0.06851 89 64 17 8
814 It all depends on your interpretation of the Handmaids Tail. 1.3708 0.06662 89 63 19 7
815 My owner is an aeronautical engineer. 1.3708 0.06468 89 62 21 6
816 You will never make it out the doggie door. 1.3708 0.06468 89 62 21 6
817 I didn’t know it was reversible! 1.3707 0.05548 116 80 29 7
818 What do you mean I’m wearing it wrong? You can’t even lick your junk with it on like that. 1.3707 0.06425 116 87 15 14
819 It really doesn't matter, I can't reach mine either. 1.3704 0.07545 81 60 12 9
820 I hate fashion week! 1.3704 0.07124 81 58 16 7
821 I'm a Pilgrim now. 1.3704 0.07124 81 58 16 7
822 Cup or cone? 1.3704 0.07338 81 59 14 8
823 Don't ask, don't get. 1.3704 0.06197 81 56 21 4
824 Yes,you do hear better. But I think I look slimmer. 1.3704 0.06442 81 55 22 4
825 What channels do you get? 1.3704 0.07124 81 58 16 7
826 How do you know I bought mine at IKEA? 1.3704 0.05596 108 76 25 7
827 Let’s agree to disagree 1.3704 0.06904 81 57 18 6
828 RBG is my spirit animal. 1.3704 0.06904 81 57 18 6
829 You see Mark, what limits us is the same. It's how we face those limitations that defines us. 1.3704 0.06321 81 57 19 5
830 Comfort is more important than efficacy. 1.3704 0.06197 81 54 24 3
831 I prefer the Edwardian to the Elizabethan. 1.3704 0.06904 81 57 18 6
832 Newest CDC guidelines 1.3701 0.05679 127 91 25 11
833 I'm not kidding. Run as fast as you can and this thing flips back! 1.3700 0.06139 100 70 23 7
834 That's ok, you should see how he puts the sweater on the cat. 1.3700 0.06614 100 73 17 10
835 It's easier to discern the context of events unfolding around me. 1.3696 0.05929 92 62 26 4
836 Welcome to Australia. 1.3696 0.07035 92 68 14 10
837 I just got off the Mayflower. Which ship are you from? 1.3696 0.06506 92 65 20 7
838 The aerodynamics are a lot better when you're chasing parked cars. 1.3696 0.06128 92 63 24 5
839 Open window on the freeway, that's how! 1.3696 0.06320 92 64 22 6
840 It's not funny, my vet has dyslexia! 1.3696 0.06128 92 63 24 5
841 Yeah, my vet was a huge RBG fan. 1.3696 0.06506 92 65 20 7
842 I want to put the last four years in the rearview mirror! 1.3696 0.06687 92 66 18 8
843 Go in peace my pup ... your prayers will be answered. 1.3696 0.07035 92 68 14 10
844 Nice collar” - “Nice hat 1.3696 0.06863 92 67 16 9
845 some days you wear the cone, other days the cone wears you. 1.3696 0.07035 92 68 14 10
846 I have a doctor’s note. 1.3696 0.06687 92 66 18 8
847 It’s more aerodynamic for faster recovery! 1.3696 0.06687 92 66 18 8
848 I’m tired of being a good boy. 1.3694 0.05568 111 76 29 6
849 I asked for the cone of self confidence! 1.3690 0.06287 84 57 23 4
850 I once thought the way you do. 1.3690 0.06511 84 58 21 5
851 My tail was chasing me. 1.3690 0.06287 84 57 23 4
852 You think I look stupid? Go check your reflection in the toilet bowl! 1.3690 0.06511 84 58 21 5
853 I know, right? 1.3690 0.06728 84 59 19 6
854 And I look ridiculous? 1.3690 0.06055 84 56 25 3
855 Dude, you can't trust everything you read on the Internet. 1.3690 0.06287 84 57 23 4
856 I’m getting much better gas mileage now. 1.3690 0.06938 84 60 17 7
857 So if I pull your tail does your mouth light up? 1.3690 0.07142 84 61 15 8
858 I made a promise I’d leave them alone as long as I could still see them 1.3690 0.07142 84 61 15 8
859 It was windy riding in the back of the convertible. 1.3689 0.06321 103 74 20 9
860 Have you tried putting it into sport mode? 1.3689 0.06321 103 74 20 9
861 You’re projecting again. 1.3684 0.05879 114 81 24 9
862 You must have different insurance 1.3684 0.07216 76 54 16 6
863 Trust me, when it snows, you'll be happy you did. 1.3684 0.06180 95 66 23 6
864 They want me to stop going through the dog door butt first. 1.3684 0.06532 95 68 19 8
865 I tell you the world looks bigger this way. 1.3684 0.06180 95 66 23 6
866 if you push your head into the toilet real hard it flips over! 1.3684 0.07185 95 72 11 12
867 So, I’ve been thinking outside the cone. 1.3684 0.06180 95 66 23 6
868 Just my luck I was rescued from the pound by a Pilgrim. 1.3679 0.05738 106 73 27 6
869 I'll lick yours if you scratch mine 1.3678 0.06143 87 59 24 4
870 My bark is not as loud, but I can run way faster. 1.3678 0.06356 87 60 22 5
871 We both look stupid! 1.3678 0.06356 87 60 22 5
872 You’ll never get in looking like that. 1.3678 0.06764 87 62 18 7
873 Oh, it's not medical. ...just a dog collar designed by Elon Musk. 1.3678 0.06563 87 61 20 6
874 You want to get noticed these days, you gotta think outside the cone. 1.3678 0.06563 87 61 20 6
875 I hired a lawyer. 1.3673 0.06549 98 71 18 9
876 Yes, my veterinarian is Dutch . . . why do you ask? 1.3673 0.06048 98 68 24 6
877 Laugh all you want, but I just logged a personal best chasing that car down the block. 1.3673 0.06387 98 70 20 8
878 Rough ruff, Ralph. 1.3673 0.06048 98 68 24 6
879 I'll take form over function anytime. 1.3673 0.06549 98 71 18 9
880 You’re wearing it wrong. Dr. Fauci said so. 1.3673 0.06220 98 69 22 7
881 It was reversal surgery. 1.3671 0.06540 79 54 21 4
882 I have a forward thinking veterinarian" 1.3671 0.06287 79 53 23 3
883 This comes in handy when I'm having lobster. 1.3671 0.06287 79 53 23 3
884 I don't care if you do get better reception. This is way more comfortable. 1.3671 0.06783 79 55 19 5
885 It's not as if he wears his own mask properly either. 1.3671 0.07019 79 56 17 6
886 Much more comfortable this way. When I hear them come in, I switch it back. 1.3671 0.06540 79 54 21 4
887 I find it works just as well, without the shame. 1.3671 0.06540 79 54 21 4
888 Mine is Prada. 1.3671 0.06287 79 56 19 4
889 No offence, but you look ridiculous. 1.3671 0.06783 79 55 19 5
890 No, by law she has to offer you a reasonable accommodation. 1.3667 0.06211 90 62 23 5
891 I got stuck in a lampshade. What happened to you? 1.3667 0.06409 90 63 21 6
892 I convinced her that this retro look was more fashionable. 1.3667 0.06211 90 62 23 5
893 You gotta think outside the cone. 1.3667 0.06787 90 65 17 8
894 I don't know whether I'm coming or going, either. 1.3667 0.06601 90 64 19 7
895 Alcohol was involved.... 1.3667 0.06409 90 63 21 6
896 Handmaid’s Tale, huh? I’m The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel. 1.3667 0.07146 90 67 13 10
897 You can fit through the hole in the fence too if you run fast enough 1.3667 0.06007 90 61 25 4
898 No, I'm not injured. I just got in a row with a lampshade. 1.3667 0.05790 120 86 24 10
899 My vet's dyslexic -who knew? 1.3663 0.06249 101 72 21 8
900 I go to a discount vet. Why do you ask? 1.3663 0.05924 101 70 25 6
901 It's a bit less Elizabethan, and I can still chew my feet. 1.3663 0.05924 101 70 25 6
902 Can I lick anything for you? 1.3663 0.06708 101 75 15 11
903 I was like that once, but I managed to turn things around. 1.3663 0.06249 101 72 21 8
904 You only wear it like that after Labor Day 1.3663 0.05924 101 70 25 6
905 Are you high? 1.3663 0.06406 101 73 19 9
906 Of course you look good in the mirror; that's what they want you to think. 1.3659 0.06834 82 58 18 6
907 The doggie door won. 1.3659 0.06610 82 57 20 5
908 My owner wears his face mask below his nose, so I told him it was only fair. 1.3659 0.07262 82 60 14 8
909 there are good dogs on both sides 1.3659 0.06379 82 56 22 4
910 All the millennials are wearing it this way. 1.3656 0.06264 93 65 22 6
911 Just take a walk against a high wind. 1.3656 0.06074 93 64 24 5
912 You’re such a traditionalist, Bob. I prefer the RBG cone styling 1.3656 0.06627 93 67 18 8
913 Am I the converse to your inverse? 1.3656 0.06264 93 65 22 6
914 First he wears his baseball cap backwards. And now this... 1.3656 0.06448 93 66 20 7
915 You do it by running real fast through the cat door! 1.3656 0.06264 93 65 22 6
916 Look on the bright side- you're not troubled by hindsight! 1.3656 0.07136 93 70 12 11
917 Just put your head out of the car window. Problem solved. 1.3656 0.06074 93 64 24 5
918 It’s a “ruff,” get it? 1.3656 0.05677 93 62 28 3
919 You think this is bad? Just wait until the reverse vasectomy. 1.3656 0.05467 93 66 22 5
920 I prefer not to see what they did. 1.3654 0.06561 104 77 16 11
921 I think it's so they can tell us apart. 1.3654 0.06120 104 74 22 8
922 This is the cone of no shame. 1.3654 0.06120 104 74 22 8
923 You can either be an ice cream cone or a rocket. 1.3654 0.05965 104 73 24 7
924 Windy isn’t it? 1.3654 0.06120 104 74 22 8
925 I say this as a friend. You look ridiculous. 1.3649 0.06823 74 51 19 4
926 Is this a reflection of our current political situation? 1.3649 0.06546 74 50 21 3
927 it's for speed 1.3649 0.06257 74 49 23 2
928 What? I'm Jewish. 1.3647 0.06870 85 61 17 7
929 Neutered? No, I knocked over a lamp. 1.3647 0.06870 85 61 17 7
930 I'm a messy eater. 1.3647 0.06449 85 59 21 5
931 Really, Sam? Popped collar? That’s so last year. 1.3647 0.06228 85 58 23 4
932 Think outside the cone, dude. 1.3647 0.06449 85 59 21 5
933 I know, I know, but my human is dyslexic and I haven't the heart to correct him. 1.3647 0.07070 85 62 15 8
934 My human drives a convertible. 1.3646 0.06642 96 70 17 9
935 I prefer to wear it as a shrug. 1.3646 0.06127 96 67 23 6
936 My vet is an idiot. 1.3646 0.06806 96 71 15 10
937 I'm required to wear it,but they didn't say how. 1.3646 0.06806 96 71 15 10
938 She's a little dyslexic... 1.3646 0.05946 96 66 25 5
939 Because I can 1.3646 0.05758 96 65 27 4
940 You ran into a lamp too? 1.3646 0.06304 96 68 21 7
941 It's a lampshade. I just wanted to give you some moral support. 1.3646 0.06475 96 69 19 8
942 Where does it itch? 1.3646 0.05758 96 65 27 4
943 I have something I want to get off my chest. 1.3636 0.06700 88 63 18 7
944 We should make movies and call ourselves the Cone Brothers." 1.3636 0.06494 99 72 18 9
945 It makes me more aerodynamic. I caught a mail truck last week. 1.3636 0.06168 99 70 22 7
946 I see you're going for the Elizabethan look. I prefer the Puritan look myself. 1.3636 0.06168 99 70 22 7
947 I’m in a study—I think I may be part of the placebo group... 1.3636 0.06168 99 70 22 7
948 He can't tie a Windsor either 1.3636 0.07374 77 56 14 7
949 Potato, Potahto, let's pull the damn things off! 1.3636 0.06892 88 64 16 8
950 At least your vet knows what he's doing 1.3636 0.05644 99 67 28 4
951 Wow, that was a heck of a sneeze! 1.3636 0.06892 88 64 16 8
952 Get with the times, boomer, collar up is so 80's! 1.3636 0.06700 88 63 18 7
953 We've given up on western medicine. 1.3636 0.06168 99 70 22 7
954 Same difference, except I look better. 1.3636 0.06642 77 53 20 4
955 Sometimes it pays to have a priest for an owner 1.3636 0.06892 88 64 16 8
956 I call this look 'throwing some shade' 1.3636 0.06892 88 64 16 8
957 F**k the system" 1.3636 0.06895 77 54 18 5
958 I don’t think it’s down there anymore any ways 1.3627 0.06504 102 75 17 10
959 It's the new model. 40% less pathetic. 1.3627 0.06353 102 74 19 9
960 You just have to run VERY fast." 1.3626 0.06540 91 65 19 7
961 Yes, my master is a man of the cloth. How did you guess? 1.3626 0.06156 91 63 23 5
962 Surgery? I stuck my head through the food bowl. 1.3626 0.06351 91 64 21 6
963 At least we can kiss! 1.3626 0.05954 91 62 25 4
964 My owners are liberals. 1.3626 0.06540 91 65 19 7
965 Seriously, it makes way more sense this way. 1.3626 0.05954 91 62 25 4
966 I find I get much better reception. 1.3626 0.06351 91 64 21 6
967 Is that a turtle neck? 1.3626 0.06540 91 65 19 7
968 Of course I might have it backwards. But the luscious T-bone I just gobbled up says 'NOT' 1.3626 0.06540 91 65 19 7
969 Next car ride, we'll see who has the superior drag coefficient. 1.3626 0.06156 91 63 23 5
970 I’m much faster since the upgrade ! 1.3626 0.05954 91 62 25 4
971 Yeah, my humans aren't really clear on the concept, but at least I'm much more aerodynamic this way. 1.3626 0.05745 91 61 27 3
972 Does this make me look slimmer? 1.3626 0.05303 91 59 31 1
973 I miss RBG. We were the same size. 1.3625 0.06595 80 58 16 6
974 My lawyer is making me wear this for my whiplash case. 1.3625 0.06225 80 54 23 3
975 It’s called the Eton Collar. I’m too dignified to bother my nethers. 1.3625 0.07170 80 58 15 7
976 A cat showed me. 1.3625 0.06474 80 55 21 4
977 Got adopted by an elderly nun. 1.3625 0.06714 80 56 19 5
978 That's just like you, Ronan. Wearing it the right way, like a really good boy. 1.3625 0.06945 80 57 17 6
979 Yes, your tail is still there. 1.3625 0.06945 80 57 17 6
980 I was curious. 1.3625 0.06474 80 55 21 4
981 Introvert vs. Extrovert A perfect match 1.3625 0.06714 80 56 19 5
982 It's Ruff Lauren. 1.3625 0.06945 80 57 17 6
983 I find the science inconclusive. 1.3625 0.06225 80 54 23 3
984 . Be honest-- does this make my butt look big? 1.3625 0.06474 80 55 21 4
985 Oh no, mine’s a religious thing. 1.3625 0.05965 80 53 25 2
986 this way, I can still bite the mailman 1.3617 0.06022 94 65 24 5
987 Does this make me look fat? 1.3617 0.06567 94 68 18 8
988 No, I'm fine, and I'm going to be a full-fledged nun next Wednesday 1.3617 0.06209 94 66 22 6
989 If we work together we can lick this. 1.3617 0.06391 94 67 20 7
990 If you turn it around you can still lick your balls. 1.3617 0.06022 94 65 24 5
991 It's called aerodynamics and it makes frisbees catchable 1.3617 0.05629 94 68 20 6
992 It’s the new model. It makes sniffing butts a lot easier. 1.3617 0.06391 94 67 20 7
993 Think outside the cone. 1.3614 0.06545 83 58 20 5
994 Because I just got my second shot 1.3614 0.06766 83 59 18 6
995 What if you’re right and they’re wrong? 1.3614 0.06766 83 59 18 6
996 I like how I wear mine better 1.3614 0.06545 83 58 20 5
997 My therapist says I’m an extrovert. 1.3611 0.05950 108 77 23 8
998 I feel much less pretentious. 1.3611 0.06939 72 50 18 4
999 Because my people have Puritan ancestors. 1.3608 0.06250 97 69 21 7
1000 I turned my cone from shame to fame! 1.3608 0.06903 97 73 13 11
1001 My vet doesn’t think shaming me is the answer. 1.3608 0.06250 97 69 21 7
1002 Actually,I'm a priest. 1.3608 0.06584 97 71 17 9
1003 Yes, I turned it around when I left Qanon 1.3608 0.06584 97 71 17 9
1004 Yes, I used the doggy door. Why do you ask? 1.3608 0.06903 97 73 13 11
1005 My owner embraces alternative facts. 1.3605 0.06388 86 60 21 5
1006 A word of advice, do not stick your head out of a car window on the highway 1.3605 0.07001 86 63 15 8
1007 "One of our owners is really dumb." 1.3605 0.06802 86 62 17 7
1008 I know it’s on backwards but I still don’t have the balls to see if it works or not . 1.3605 0.06598 86 61 19 6
1009 I'm an anarchist 1.3605 0.06170 86 59 23 4
1010 I find it's more slimming this way. 1.3605 0.06598 86 61 19 6
1011 Easy, I stuck my head out the car window ! 1.3605 0.07381 86 65 11 10
1012 I know, right? Wanna come watch her put an Ikea together? 1.3605 0.06598 86 61 19 6
1013 Oh, it’s easy. You just have to get a really good run at the dog door. 1.3605 0.06598 86 61 19 6
1014 It's handmade, and there's a tale behind it. 1.3605 0.06388 86 60 21 5
1015 Yours is Protestant; mine is Catholic. 1.3605 0.06598 86 61 19 6
1016 Don't worry. Things will turn around eventually. 1.3605 0.06598 86 61 19 6
1017 I shaved 3 seconds off my lap time just by flipping this thing around. 1.3605 0.07001 86 63 15 8
1018 Yer, of course they are reversible 1.3600 0.05777 100 69 26 5
1019 This is how The Lamp wears his...makes more sense, I think... 1.3600 0.05949 100 70 24 6
1020 Sure but bellbottoms are back in style too. 1.3600 0.05949 100 70 24 6
1021 If you had been wearing it my way that vet wouldn't have snuck up on you. 1.3600 0.06439 100 73 18 9
1022 What? 1.3596 0.06826 89 65 16 8
1023 Then the squirrel jumped through a hole in the fence. 1.3596 0.06240 89 62 22 5
1024 Laugh if you will, but I can outrun you now 1.3596 0.06441 89 63 20 6
1025 Yeah, I assumed you were introverted 1.3596 0.06636 89 64 18 7
1026 It totally eliminates the echo. 1.3596 0.06636 89 64 18 7
1027 It's Casual Friday. 1.3596 0.06032 89 61 24 4
1028 You got yours at the vet!? I got mine at the lamp store. 1.3596 0.06826 89 65 16 8
1029 And it also deflects flatulence. 1.3596 0.06636 89 64 18 7
1030 I'm hoping this will get me on the cover of Dogue! 1.3596 0.07191 89 67 12 10
1031 I'm going to be a clergy dog 1.3592 0.05664 103 71 27 5
1032 My aerodynamics have vastly increased. 1.3592 0.06148 103 74 21 8
1033 Your father must've been a flashlight; Mine was a lampshade. 1.3592 0.05830 103 72 25 6
1034 Just stick your head out the window next time you're out for a drive. 1.3592 0.06301 103 75 19 9
1035 Quite a party last night, huh? 1.3590 0.07061 78 56 16 6
1036 I'm keeping it this way until my human wears a mask. 1.3590 0.06181 78 55 19 4
1037 I hear that we're supposed to wear them over our nose. 1.3590 0.06315 78 53 22 3
1038 I'm studying for the priesthood. 1.3590 0.06822 78 55 18 5
1039 Yeah, I slipped the vet $50, and I can reach everywhere. 1.3587 0.06481 92 66 19 7
1040 I dressed myself this morning. 1.3587 0.05696 92 62 27 3
1041 That's what they would like you to believe. 1.3587 0.07012 92 69 13 10
1042 I appreciate the aerodynamics, but I do envy your amplified bark. 1.3587 0.06101 92 64 23 5
1043 Your cone is so old hat. 1.3585 0.06023 106 76 22 8
1044 My owner had one job! 1.3580 0.07095 81 59 15 7
1045 You're right. I've always been the more outgoing one. 1.3580 0.06874 81 58 17 6
1046 Elizabethan collars are so last year. I've updated to a Pilgrim collar. 1.3580 0.06645 81 57 19 5
1047 There's less shame this way. 1.3580 0.06409 81 56 21 4
1048 Try running very very fast. 1.3580 0.06874 81 58 17 6
1049 Hey, you can still smell butts. 1.3580 0.06645 81 57 19 5
1050 I swear, I’ll never put on a lamp shade at a party again 1.3580 0.07095 81 59 15 7
1051 I prefer Puritan over Elizabethan. 1.3580 0.06645 81 57 19 5
1052 ...and when you eat there isn’t that annoying scraping noise on the floor. 1.3580 0.06409 81 56 21 4
1053 Well that’s embarrassing 1.3580 0.06874 81 58 17 6
1054 Windy out there. 1.3579 0.06155 95 67 22 6
1055 If it rains you'll drown. 1.3579 0.06509 95 69 18 8
1056 Itchy, no, but I was recently ordained. 1.3579 0.06334 95 68 20 7
1057 I wanted to bring a modern look to a classic. 1.3579 0.06334 95 68 20 7
1058 Hi, I'm Father Michael"s dog. 1.3579 0.05876 95 68 21 6
1059 It's symbolic with my owners. They're also anti-maskers. 1.3579 0.06155 95 67 22 6
1060 Cone of shame? I say cone of FAME, baby! 1.3579 0.05780 95 65 26 4
1061 Is it supposed to rain? 1.3579 0.07164 95 73 10 12
1062 The wind was just insane on my way over. 1.3579 0.05970 95 66 24 5
1063 They turned it backwards after they found out I filled it with biscuits and just played video games all day. 1.3578 0.05905 109 78 23 8
1064 If you think this is backwards, you should see how my human wears his mask. 1.3571 0.05686 126 92 23 11
1065 It’s Elizabethan. I’m auditioning for Bridgerton. 1.3571 0.06527 98 72 17 9
1066 So I thought to myself, when has a terrier ever listened to direction? 1.3571 0.06527 98 72 17 9
1067 My human was annoyed at all the things I was knocking over. But don't worry, because now I just walk backward. 1.3571 0.06022 84 57 24 3
1068 ...and it really makes me less wind resistant! 1.3571 0.05664 98 67 27 4
1069 I see you're an admirer of Margaret Atwood. 1.3571 0.06527 98 72 17 9
1070 Yes, reversible is in this year! 1.3571 0.06195 112 83 18 11
1071 I think we're fraternal twins. 1.3571 0.06699 84 60 18 6
1072 Careful, it's windy out. 1.3571 0.06481 84 59 20 5
1073 I like your vibe 1.3571 0.06699 84 60 18 6
1074 Trust me, Mabel. I’m cone sold stober. 1.3571 0.06364 98 71 19 8
1075 I’ve been circumcised. What were you in for? 1.3571 0.06910 84 63 13 8
1076 I’m a Lampshadedoodle; what are you? 1.3571 0.05847 98 68 25 5
1077 No, he isnt a vet. He is a naturopath. 1.3571 0.06910 84 61 16 7
1078 No, I entered the seminary. 1.3571 0.06197 98 70 21 7
1079 That's so last year, Bob. 1.3571 0.06699 84 60 18 6
1080 My vet trusts me. 1.3571 0.06256 84 58 22 4
1081 I guess my owner doesn’t listen to my doctor either. 1.3571 0.06910 84 61 16 7
1082 If you think this is bad, you should see how my owner wears his mask 1.3571 0.06686 98 73 15 10
1083 I get better reception this way. 1.3564 0.06384 101 74 18 9
1084 Let's race - I'm more aerodynamic now! 1.3564 0.06066 101 72 22 7
1085 Yes, my owner is the one with her mask below her nose. 1.3564 0.06538 101 75 16 10
1086 Extrovert, why do you ask? 1.3564 0.06227 101 73 20 8
1087 I'll give you the name of my lawyer. 1.3563 0.06327 87 61 21 5
1088 Bless you. 1.3563 0.07122 87 65 13 9
1089 You should checkout my vet, Barney. He's much more forward thinking. 1.3563 0.06112 87 60 23 4
1090 I find the lampshades from the dollar store work just as well ! 1.3563 0.06535 87 62 19 6
1091 It's like America these days, half of the people think the other half has it wrong. 1.3563 0.06737 87 63 17 7
1092 Better look in the mirror before you start criticizing. 1.3563 0.06737 87 63 17 7
1093 Homeschooled, huh? 1.3563 0.06112 87 60 23 4
1094 I got caught in a head wind. 1.3563 0.06327 87 61 21 5
1095 Seriously- you get a better 5G signal this way! 1.3563 0.06327 87 61 21 5
1096 I’m also proactively popping hydroxychloroquine... 1.3563 0.05658 87 58 27 2
1097 Actually, mine’s a lampshade. 1.3562 0.07395 73 53 14 6
1098 Well, at least there's one advantage to having Eric Trump as my owner. 1.3562 0.07892 73 55 10 8
1099 I'll wear it, but damned if I'm going to cover my nose. 1.3562 0.07133 73 52 16 5
1100 So I said to her, hey, let's try something new this time 1.3562 0.07892 73 55 10 8
1101 I’ve been vaccinated. 1.3556 0.06183 90 63 22 5
1102 Your collar is more of an Amy Coney Barrrett and mine is more of a Ruth Bader Ginsburg. 1.3556 0.05765 90 61 26 3
1103 No, I didn't get stitches. I joined a convent. 1.3556 0.05765 90 61 26 3
1104 Aren't you going to say 'gesundheit'? 1.3556 0.06944 90 67 14 9
1105 It's awful windy today. Watch yourself. 1.3556 0.06183 90 63 22 5
1106 I walked into a lampshade. What're you in here for? 1.3556 0.06382 90 64 20 6
1107 If it makes you feel any better, I still can't lick my butt. 1.3556 0.06762 90 66 16 8
1108 yeah, I got lucky...my master is dislexic... 1.3553 0.06676 76 53 19 4
1109 This way, headwind or tailwind, I come out ahead. 1.3553 0.06408 76 52 21 3
1110 Sure, if you want to blindly follow the advice of "medical experts" you can wear it like that, but I've done my own research! 1.3553 0.06408 76 52 21 3
1111 Lucky for me my owner’s dyslexic 1.3553 0.07656 76 57 11 8
1112 The answer,my friend,is blowin in the wind. 1.3553 0.06676 76 53 19 4
1113 Sure, it’s less effective this way, but there’s this thing called personal freedom... 1.3553 0.07183 76 55 15 6
1114 Hey Ralph! Does this cone make my butt look big? 1.3553 0.06934 76 54 17 5
1115 Oh, Rex, that way is soooo last week. 1.3551 0.05827 107 76 24 7
1116 I'm telling you man, it's all a hoax. 1.3548 0.06777 93 69 15 9
1117 It's completely reversed my shame. 1.3548 0.06602 93 68 17 8
1118 Bulldogs, poodles... it's how all the French are wearing them now. 1.3548 0.06238 93 66 21 6
1119 True, I can lick and bite myself, but you have better acoustics for barking! 1.3548 0.06777 93 69 15 9
1120 Are you getting any signal? 1.3548 0.05851 93 66 22 5
1121 Yeah, I know it's backwards, but I get less aerodynamic drag and sidestream turbulence at higher velocities. 1.3548 0.06602 93 68 17 8
1122 Who’s a good boy now? 1.3548 0.06947 93 72 10 11
1123 It's not backwards; it's doggy style. 1.3548 0.06422 93 67 19 7
1124 No, I'm fine, I just knocked over a lamp. 1.3548 0.06422 93 67 19 7
1125 The voices in my head are gone! 1.3548 0.06422 93 67 19 7
1126 only in New York baby!! 1.3548 0.06422 93 67 19 7
1127 I’m a therapy dog. 1.3544 0.06505 79 55 20 4
1128 I took 10 seconds off my personal best! 1.3544 0.06986 79 57 16 6
1129 Why yes, I am Lucky. What's your name? 1.3544 0.07215 79 58 14 7
1130 I've always been somewhat of a contrarian. 1.3544 0.06251 79 54 22 3
1131 They tried to tell me the procedure was reversible, too. 1.3544 0.07215 79 58 14 7
1132 Hello! I have been vaccinated... 1.3542 0.06102 96 68 22 6
1133 This helps my speed - I can get the postman now! 1.3542 0.06102 96 68 22 6
1134 I got the idea on Etsy. 1.3540 0.05750 113 81 24 8
1135 Can you hear me better now? 1.3540 0.05611 113 80 26 7
1136 My owner never reads the instructions. 1.3537 0.06803 82 59 17 6
1137 I think you wouldn't be so narrow-minded if you didn't turn up your collar to everything. 1.3537 0.06578 82 58 19 5
1138 I’m medically exempt from wearing the cone forwards. 1.3537 0.06803 82 59 17 6
1139 It covers my double chin. 1.3535 0.06310 99 72 19 8
1140 But, Dad - all the kids are wearing them backwards these days. 1.3535 0.05974 99 70 23 6
1141 I am the dog that thinks outside of the cone. 1.3535 0.05974 99 70 23 6
1142 Mine is for speed 1.3535 0.06310 99 72 19 8
1143 I’ve never been this aerodynamic before, Ralph. Never. 1.3535 0.05139 99 68 28 3
1144 Sister Bertrille! I thought I recognized you. 1.3529 0.06841 85 62 16 7
1145 Yeah...and he also hasn't figured out his remote yet. 1.3529 0.06633 85 61 18 6
1146 These days I identify more as a floor lamp. 1.3529 0.06633 85 61 18 6
1147 You don't even want to know what I'm being treated for. 1.3529 0.06418 85 60 20 5
1148 That must have been some wind. 1.3529 0.06633 85 61 18 6
1149 I got mine from the lamp in the corner 1.3529 0.06841 85 62 16 7
1150 You know, I've heard of a couple of studies that say double-coning is even more effective! 1.3529 0.06196 85 59 22 4
1151 It seems like I’m the only one licking in this relationship. 1.3529 0.06176 102 74 20 8
1152 I gained a quarter of a mile per hour . 1.3529 0.06196 85 59 22 4
1153 I was looking in the mirror when I put it on. 1.3529 0.06017 102 73 22 7
1154 It's easy, just stick your head out the car window. 1.3529 0.06196 85 64 14 7
1155 I'm fine. It's actually the result of a little incident I had with a floor lamp. 1.3529 0.06176 102 74 20 8
1156 At least you can hold extra food in yours. 1.3529 0.06196 85 59 22 4
1157 My human is dumber than your human, but I like him that way. 1.3529 0.06017 102 73 22 7
1158 Just push your head through the cat door. It works for me every time. 1.3529 0.06196 85 59 22 4
1159 That’s ruff 1.3529 0.05966 85 58 24 3
1160 It’s the newest style, downward facing cone. 1.3524 0.06199 105 77 19 9
1161 Much more aerodynamic, you know. 1.3523 0.05247 88 65 18 5
1162 I hung my head out the window and boom, new collar!! 1.3523 0.06473 88 63 19 6
1163 Yeah, at my vet you get a choice” 1.3523 0.06056 88 61 23 4
1164 As long as I wear one, I can stay on disability. 1.3523 0.06473 88 63 19 6
1165 How did you know I just got back from a car ride? 1.3523 0.06056 88 61 23 4
1166 Windy today,huh. 1.3523 0.06473 88 63 19 6
1167 Yes sister, but our order is a progressive one. 1.3523 0.06672 88 64 17 7
1168 It’s just like a reverse mortgage 1.3523 0.06865 88 65 15 8
1169 Why yes, but how did you guess that my master is dyslexic? 1.3521 0.07260 71 51 15 5
1170 I'm telling you, it's really windy outside. 1.3521 0.06683 71 49 19 3
1171 I'm the Caped Avenger. Who are you?" 1.3521 0.06978 71 50 17 4
1172 I found a loophole! 1.3519 0.05782 108 77 24 7
1173 Oh, yours is for resistance? Mine's built for speed. 1.3516 0.06323 91 65 20 6
1174 We can’t both be right. 1.3516 0.06323 91 65 20 6
1175 Yeah, all ya gotta do is get goin' REAL fast and then go through the doggie door. It worth it, man! 1.3516 0.06127 91 64 22 5
1176 How many channels do you get with that dish? 1.3516 0.06698 91 67 16 8
1177 Does this collar make me look fat? 1.3516 0.06127 91 64 22 5
1178 I’m the designated butt licker 1.3516 0.06514 91 66 18 7
1179 You don't hear the ocean this way. 1.3516 0.06514 91 66 18 7
1180 I find the button down collar just gives a me more professional look. 1.3516 0.06514 91 66 18 7
1181 Let me guess: bingewatching the Handmaid's Tale? 1.3516 0.06698 91 67 16 8
1182 It works the same way but much less shame! 1.3516 0.06323 91 65 20 6
1183 It’s rather windy outside. 1.3516 0.06127 91 64 22 5
1184 I don't care if it's how the kids wear it. 1.3516 0.05925 91 63 24 4
1185 Catholic 1.3516 0.06127 91 64 22 5
1186 My dad dressed me today. 1.3516 0.06514 91 66 18 7
1187 I needed a neck lift, I was turning into a Sharpei 1.3516 0.06127 91 64 22 5
1188 No, really. This is how they wear them in Paris! 1.3516 0.06514 91 66 18 7
1189 In a dog eat dog world I have an advantage ! 1.3514 0.06064 74 52 19 3
1190 Me, I’m more of an extrovert. 1.3514 0.05955 111 81 21 9
1191 That must be a drag. 1.3514 0.06784 74 52 18 4
1192 You're the first one to notice. 1.3511 0.05995 94 66 23 5
1193 Backwards? Okay Boomer! 1.3511 0.06542 94 69 17 8
1194 Yeah, okay, so it's technically not thinking outside the cone. But you get my point, right? 1.3511 0.06365 94 68 19 7
1195 I stuck my head out the window of the car and, voila, it flipped over! 1.3511 0.06365 94 68 19 7
1196 Any chewing I can help you with? 1.3511 0.06715 94 70 15 9
1197 I can't lick down there either 1.3511 0.06183 94 67 21 6
1198 Do you want to hear the other nine steps to finding a new perspective on life? 1.3506 0.07104 77 56 15 6
1199 You got your head cone ass backwards. 1.3506 0.06859 77 55 17 5
1200 My lady voted for Biden. 1.3506 0.06341 77 53 21 3
1201 What can I say, they're fashion conscious and I convinced them that this was a better look. 1.3506 0.07341 77 57 13 7
1202 No, really. On you it looks good. 1.3505 0.05870 97 68 24 5
1203 Let's race. 1.3505 0.06225 97 70 20 7
1204 Despite our differences I think we can still work together. 1.3505 0.06050 97 69 22 6
1205 Well for one, I'm dyslexic. 1.3504 0.05472 117 83 27 7
1206 Oh, the mask should cover your nose? 1.3500 0.05925 100 71 23 6
1207 It has the same effect,but with less shame. 1.3500 0.07138 80 59 14 7
1208 All the pups are wearing them like this now 1.3500 0.06256 100 73 19 8
1209 It's just a precaution in case my butt tries to try lick my face. 1.3500 0.06872 100 77 11 12
1210 You have to get up to 15,maybe 20 miles an hour. 1.3500 0.06256 100 73 19 8
1211 I could lick that for you. 1.3500 0.06680 80 57 18 5
1212 I think we’re a perfect fit! 1.3500 0.06680 80 57 18 5
1213 It’s not as humiliating somehow. 1.3500 0.07138 80 59 14 7
1214 I'm sure this is reversible, Frank 1.3500 0.06256 100 73 19 8
1215 I humped my human’s mother’s leg. You? 1.3500 0.07138 80 59 14 7
1216 Stick my head out of the car window on the way home... works every time. 1.3496 0.05770 123 91 21 11
1217 He also thinks hydroxychloroquine will stop covid. 1.3495 0.06429 103 77 16 10
1218 Say two Hail Marys and try not to lick there again 1.3495 0.05806 103 73 24 6
1219 Next time you're priest and I'm nun. 1.3495 0.06125 103 75 20 8
1220 Does my ass look fat? 1.3495 0.06429 103 77 16 10
1221 Hind sight is 20/20, my friend. 1.3494 0.06949 83 61 15 7
1222 Let’s just agree to disagree. 1.3494 0.06513 83 59 19 5
1223 Doggy day care? More like doggy don't care! 1.3494 0.06949 83 61 15 7
1224 Sore throat. You? 1.3494 0.06734 83 60 17 6
1225 Are you ready to confess your sins? 1.3494 0.06949 83 61 15 7
1226 I still get to lick, just not myself" 1.3494 0.06513 83 59 19 5
1227 Potato, potahto. 1.3494 0.06734 83 60 17 6
1228 Deflects the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune. 1.3494 0.06949 83 61 15 7
1229 My bark is actually better than my bite now. 1.3494 0.06734 83 60 17 6
1230 It was a very windy day. 1.3494 0.06734 83 60 17 6
1231 It’s ergonomically designed so I can run faster. 1.3494 0.06949 83 61 15 7
1232 I signed an agreement absolving my owners of any responsibility. 1.3494 0.06949 83 61 15 7
1233 They said I can still lick YOUR genitals. 1.3494 0.06513 83 59 19 5
1234 I’m part English Trendsetter. 1.3494 0.06045 83 57 23 3
1235 Strong wind out there today eh? 1.3494 0.07158 83 62 13 8
1236 Ah, the cone of shame... how mortifying. I was blessed with the collar of excellence. 1.3488 0.06568 86 62 18 6
1237 Did you hear, Fauci said Double coning will be next! 1.3488 0.06356 86 61 20 5
1238 I have a doctor's note so I can wear it like this 1.3488 0.06356 86 61 20 5
1239 my therapist said I needed a broader perspective 1.3488 0.06356 86 61 20 5
1240 Dude, I keep telling you. Chicks dig a flipped collar. 1.3488 0.06137 86 60 22 4
1241 Oh this? It’s dress rehearsals for my show, Shakespeare in the Bark. 1.3488 0.06773 86 63 16 7
1242 My human says we’re extroverts 1.3486 0.05587 109 77 26 6
1243 Run as hard as you can into a stiff wind and, voila. 1.3483 0.06412 89 64 19 6
1244 I told you, it's a casual event. 1.3483 0.06412 89 64 19 6
1245 I prefer the Pilgrim look to the Elizabethan 1.3483 0.06412 89 64 19 6
1246 This is an improvement. My last lady friend had a muzzle. 1.3483 0.06412 89 64 19 6
1247 You know that wind tunnel? 1.3483 0.06001 89 62 23 4
1248 You’re comical, I’m conical 1.3483 0.06799 89 66 15 8
1249 Mine keeps me from biting my nails. 1.3478 0.05872 92 64 24 4
1250 You have a lot to learn about aerodynamics. 1.3478 0.06266 92 66 20 6
1251 Wow. It really amplifies your bark! 1.3478 0.05665 92 63 26 3
1252 There's no right or wrong; just depends which way the wind is blowing. 1.3478 0.06072 92 65 22 5
1253 Yes, I'm a member of the clergy. Why do you ask? 1.3478 0.06814 92 69 14 9
1254 I think I got too drunk last night! 1.3478 0.05872 92 67 20 5
1255 Mine's an "in-nie" not an outtie. 1.3478 0.06454 92 67 18 7
1256 My owner has dyslexia. Wanna see where he attaches the leash? 1.3478 0.06072 92 65 22 5
1257 Never stick your head out of the car window. 1.3478 0.06454 92 67 18 7
1258 Because the Vet said that I had achieved herd immunity. 1.3478 0.06636 92 68 16 8
1259 🎶 I did it my way . . . . 1.3478 0.06793 69 48 18 3
1260 I have an undisclosed medical condition so I can't wear it right. 1.3478 0.07100 69 49 16 4
1261 We're stackable. 1.3474 0.05943 95 67 23 5
1262 Trust me. Just keep scraping everything off the coffee table; eventually they'll turn it around. 1.3474 0.06128 95 68 21 6
1263 I prefer the term 'influencer.' 1.3474 0.06308 95 69 19 7
1264 I know it’s inside out. Everything else is in the cleaners. 1.3474 0.06308 95 69 19 7
1265 Does it make me look thinner? 1.3474 0.05553 95 65 27 3
1266 Listen, you scratch my back and I’ll scratch yours. 1.3474 0.05751 95 66 25 4
1267 I'm going into the Ministry! 1.3474 0.06128 95 68 21 6
1268 This is what they really mean by doggy style! 1.3472 0.07951 72 55 9 8
1269 It helps to read the directions. 1.3472 0.07175 72 52 15 5
1270 I'm quite sure. 1.3472 0.07175 72 52 15 5
1271 My owner says there’s no proof that cones work, anyway. 1.3472 0.07701 72 54 11 7
1272 This way, I can stick my head out the back window and we still get 32mpg in the city. 1.3469 0.05820 98 69 24 5
1273 My vet is dyslexic. I just couldn't bring myself to say anything. 1.3469 0.06171 98 71 20 7
1274 Dude! That is SO retro! 1.3469 0.05447 98 67 28 3
1275 No, yours is Elizabethan, mine is Pilgrim 1.3469 0.06340 98 72 18 8
1276 I wasn't aware that you were Jewish, Rex. 1.3468 0.05955 124 94 17 13
1277 That's some wind out there! 1.3467 0.06973 75 54 16 5
1278 My vet got his degree online. 1.3467 0.06973 75 54 16 5
1279 I stuck my head out the car window. The next thing I knew my peripheral vision had been restored! 1.3467 0.07472 75 56 12 7
1280 Mine references the Elizabethan period. How about yours ? 1.3467 0.06710 75 53 18 4
1281 Pilgrim. What's your name? 1.3465 0.06361 101 75 17 9
1282 But we can still lick each other's butt. 1.3465 0.05061 101 75 20 6
1283 I am now an ordained priest and can make moral decisions as to whom to bite. 1.3465 0.05705 101 71 25 5
1284 I’d sue. 1.3465 0.06361 101 75 17 9
1285 My veterinarian is Jewish. 1.3462 0.06662 104 80 12 12
1286 been there, done that. 1.3462 0.06536 78 55 19 4
1287 You look so conical. 1.3462 0.06536 78 55 19 4
1288 I was trying to get through the hole in the fence and it just went "Pop!" 1.3462 0.05920 104 75 22 7
1289 I got here as fast as I could 1.3462 0.06075 104 76 20 8
1290 And then I said, 'The Elizabethan collar was a symbol of the aristocracy, therefore you must serve me roast beef, salmon and artesian water.' So they relented, and now I can ride with my head out the window." 1.3462 0.06520 104 79 14 11
1291 'It's 2021 Susan, stop letting the vet make decisions for you. Take control.' 1.3462 0.07027 78 57 15 6
1292 Don’t ask, I ran through the pet door. 1.3458 0.06383 107 81 15 11
1293 I think it has to do with whether they think you are an introvert or extrovert. 1.3458 0.05954 107 78 21 8
1294 If you jam it into your owner’s legs enough times, you get an upgrade. 1.3458 0.06100 107 79 19 9
1295 My vet's new. 1.3458 0.05650 107 76 25 6
1296 Welcome to Chicago ! When you turn the next corner you will see why they call it the WINDY City! 1.3458 0.05804 107 77 23 7
1297 So who licks your balls? 1.3457 0.07062 81 60 14 7
1298 G'day mate! 1.3457 0.06840 81 59 16 6
1299 I wear it because I am a Puritan breed. 1.3457 0.06611 81 58 18 5
1300 Oh. Mine didn't come with instructions. 1.3457 0.06373 81 57 20 4
1301 Yes, I can hear you now! 1.3457 0.06611 81 58 18 5
1302 It means I’m taken 1.3457 0.07062 81 60 14 7
1303 I got tired of just being seen as a lightbulb. 1.3457 0.06373 81 57 20 4
1304 They say that opposites attract.......now what? 1.3457 0.05869 81 55 24 2
1305 At our place style trumps function 1.3457 0.06611 81 58 18 5
1306 I may have been 'fixed,' but my sense of style is still intact. 1.3457 0.07062 81 60 14 7
1307 No it’s not backwards, it’s Chanel. 1.3457 0.07278 81 61 12 8
1308 Yeah, my owner is not the brightest bulb on the tree 1.3457 0.06611 81 58 18 5
1309 I saw a Facebook video about how they’re not really effective anyways, so why does it matter how I wear it? 1.3457 0.07278 81 61 12 8
1310 Easy! Just squeeze through the dog door! 1.3452 0.05742 84 59 22 3
1311 'Try facing into the wind' 1.3452 0.06667 84 61 17 6
1312 I like to go with the airflow. 1.3452 0.06448 84 60 19 5
1313 Aerodynamics! 1.3452 0.06222 84 59 21 4
1314 Ok so you can amplify your barks, but I can amplify my farts! 1.3452 0.06667 84 61 17 6
1315 Careful going thru the doggie door. 1.3452 0.06667 84 61 17 6
1316 It’s a lampshade I found in the trash...point is we gotta stick together. 1.3452 0.06667 84 61 17 6
1317 I go to one of those alternative veterinarians. 1.3452 0.06448 84 60 19 5
1318 I’m now ordained 1.3452 0.07084 84 63 13 8
1319 Hemorrhoids” 1.3452 0.06667 84 61 17 6
1320 It's more a support cone than a cone of shame. 1.3452 0.06667 84 61 17 6
1321 That whole mirror thing still has me confused. 1.3452 0.06667 84 61 17 6
1322 Didn't you get the memo? Tudors are out, Cromwells are in. 1.3451 0.06129 113 85 17 11
1323 It reduces drag to improve my chances of catching the mailman. Yours? 1.3448 0.06504 87 63 18 6
1324 I’m an innie, you’re an outie. 1.3448 0.06707 87 64 16 7
1325 Can you hear the UPS truck sooner? 1.3448 0.06504 87 63 18 6
1326 It works the same . You just don't have to put up with the annoying echoes. 1.3448 0.06504 87 63 18 6
1327 I prefer the "collar of greatness" to "the cone of shame" 1.3448 0.06504 87 63 18 6
1328 I'll clean your nose if you clean my hiney. 1.3448 0.07094 87 66 12 9
1329 I’m in Rehab. 1.3448 0.06504 87 63 18 6
1330 They wanted me to get through the doggie door to do my business. 1.3448 0.06080 87 61 22 4
1331 'This way I don't get hat hair" 1.3448 0.05856 87 60 24 3
1332 Not much of a disguise, but they won't think to castrate a lamp! 1.3448 0.06707 87 64 16 7
1333 My vet is a big proponent of alternative medicine 1.3448 0.06903 87 65 14 8
1334 I’m more Victorian than Elizabethan. 1.3444 0.06153 90 64 21 5
1335 It’s haute-dog couture, darling. 1.3444 0.06153 90 64 21 5
1336 My human also wears his mask under his chin. 1.3444 0.05946 90 63 23 4
1337 Your cape is on backwards. 1.3444 0.06153 90 64 21 5
1338 You were right, it’s too windy outside. 1.3444 0.05510 90 61 27 2
1339 Nah, dude. Popped collars aren’t in anymore. 1.3444 0.06352 90 65 19 6
1340 You have to flip the narrative. 1.3444 0.06352 90 65 19 6
1341 Use your regular voice, now 1.3444 0.06352 90 65 19 6
1342 Elizabethan collars are out. RGB collars are all the rage. 1.3444 0.06546 90 66 17 7
1343 I'm actually fine, I'm just going into the priesthood. 1.3444 0.06153 90 64 21 5
1344 How did the Pixar audition go? 1.3444 0.06352 90 65 19 6
1345 I hear you, the sweater was bad enough! 1.3444 0.06352 90 65 19 6
1346 Oh.. So you’re an anti-coner. 1.3444 0.06352 90 65 19 6
1347 It’s highly likely your owner is smarter than mine. 1.3441 0.06209 93 67 20 6
1348 Your problem is that you attacked the lamp shade from the top. 1.3441 0.06395 93 68 18 7
1349 There's a collar mandate, sure, but they didn't say how you have to wear it. 1.3441 0.06209 93 67 20 6
1350 Well,don't know about you, but the last thing I remember was swinging from the light and I woke up like this.. 1.3441 0.06395 93 68 18 7
1351 Why Rudy, I didn’t realize you were a cross dresser. 1.3441 0.06018 93 66 22 5
1352 You look different than your profile picture. 1.3441 0.06209 93 67 20 6
1353 They got tired of my amplified barking. 1.3441 0.06921 93 71 12 10
1354 It's difficult, but I can still lick my balls. 1.3441 0.06018 93 66 22 5
1355 Not sure. Something about reverse psychology. 1.3441 0.06395 93 68 18 7
1356 He said we were going on a walk. Next thing I know I woke up like this. 1.3441 0.06018 93 66 22 5
1357 I ate right through my bowl.How in hell did you do that 1.3438 0.06594 96 72 15 9
1358 I just ran through the doggy door at a dead run, like always.... 1.3438 0.06253 96 70 19 7
1359 It’s the rage in Paris. 1.3438 0.06253 96 70 19 7
1360 I have a big favor to ask you. 1.3438 0.06253 96 70 19 7
1361 Did you also get in a fight with the lamp? 1.3434 0.05772 99 70 24 5
1362 I'm telling you, this is going to turn the cone industry on its head. 1.3434 0.05948 99 71 22 6
1363 I’ve easily shaved a half second off my average fetch time. 1.3434 0.05948 99 71 22 6
1364 Concave. An interesting choice. 1.3434 0.05948 99 71 22 6
1365 Pick up any good channels on that thing? 1.3434 0.06119 99 72 20 7
1366 But we have the same owner! 1.3429 0.07305 70 51 14 5
1367 Looks like we are a perfect fit. 1.3429 0.05384 105 73 28 4
1368 I'm an 'inny'. You're an 'outty' . 1.3429 0.07305 70 51 14 5
1369 Did I tell you I’d joined the priesthood? 1.3429 0.06176 105 78 18 9
1370 But it makes me look younger, don’t you think? 1.3425 0.06819 73 52 17 4
1371 I saw it on TikTok. 1.3425 0.07092 73 53 15 5
1372 The echo was just KILLING me! 1.3425 0.07092 73 53 15 5
1373 At least I can still lick your butt 1.3425 0.07356 73 54 13 6
1374 I have to wear it like this until my new cat tattoo heals." 1.3425 0.06819 73 52 17 4
1375 I flip it back right before I get home. They still haven't figured out I can, so please don't say anything. 1.3425 0.06819 73 52 17 4
1376 Why yes, my owner is Jewish. Why do you ask?" 1.3421 0.07387 76 57 12 7
1377 Interesting, which one of us is fashion forward. 1.3421 0.06896 76 55 16 5
1378 It’s reversible 1.3421 0.06896 76 55 16 5
1379 I prefer the more priestly look. 1.3421 0.07146 76 56 14 6
1380 Check the seams......I think you have it on inside out. 1.3421 0.06367 76 53 20 3
1381 Funny, I can hear you just fine. 1.3421 0.07387 76 57 12 7
1382 Some party last night." 1.3418 0.06211 79 55 21 3
1383 Hear what? 1.3418 0.06467 79 56 19 4
1384 You turn me on! 1.3418 0.06467 79 56 19 4
1385 Never before Memorial Day or after Labor Day. 1.3418 0.06467 79 56 19 4
1386 No, I haven't been bad. I joined the clergy. 1.3418 0.06467 79 56 19 4
1387 I always thought my vet was dyslexic. 1.3418 0.06951 79 58 15 6
1388 There's no copay, the only catch is he never finished veterinary school. 1.3418 0.07403 79 60 11 8
1389 I am a downward dog. 1.3418 0.06713 79 57 17 5
1390 I can rip out your stitches for you if you like 1.3417 0.05736 120 89 21 10
1391 I got tired of always hearing the sound of the ocean. 1.3415 0.06309 82 58 20 4
1392 If I do you, you'll do me? 1.3415 0.06543 82 59 18 5
1393 It's clear, our vets have different opinions! 1.3415 0.06770 82 60 16 6
1394 I'm a licker, not a biter 1.3415 0.06543 82 59 18 5
1395 And with the two pair of pants, it's four different outfits. 1.3415 0.07201 82 62 12 8
1396 I guess I see things from a different perspective! 1.3415 0.06543 82 59 18 5
1397 Mine’s a Louis Vuitton. Yours? 1.3415 0.06543 82 59 18 5
1398 I've had my vaccine. 1.3415 0.06309 82 58 20 4
1399 Either way—it’s supposed to promote healing and human laughter. 1.3415 0.06989 82 61 14 7
1400 Ten bucks says I can beat you in our race today to the fire hydrant. 1.3415 0.06309 82 58 20 4
1401 I wanted to be fast enough to catch the mailman 1.3415 0.06309 82 58 20 4
1402 Hey Boomer, I’m Gen Y. 1.3412 0.05930 85 59 23 3
1403 It's the latest thing, aerodynamically designed for dogs who chase cars. 1.3412 0.05689 85 58 25 2
1404 It's easy. Just stick your head out the window on the drive home. 1.3412 0.06385 85 61 19 5
1405 I'm not shouting. 1.3412 0.06600 85 62 17 6
1406 Just ride shotgun. It works every time. 1.3412 0.06161 85 60 21 4
1407 Mine? Its for aerodynamics. 1.3412 0.05930 85 59 23 3
1408 My vet says it's more aerodynamic. 1.3412 0.06600 85 62 17 6
1409 It’s easy. When she gets it up past 40, stick your head out the window. Works like a charm. 1.3412 0.06600 85 62 17 6
1410 It's reversible for fighting. 1.3412 0.06385 85 61 19 5
1411 The 1980's called. They want their collar back. 1.3412 0.06600 85 62 17 6
1412 Some wind! 1.3412 0.05930 85 59 23 3
1413 The Elizabethan collar is so pre plague 1.3412 0.06385 85 61 19 5
1414 Heh, my owner can’t figure out how I did it either. 1.3412 0.06385 85 61 19 5
1415 It sure makes it easier getting out of the dog door. 1.3409 0.06442 88 64 18 6
1416 I think this could lead to a very symbiotic relationship. 1.3409 0.06642 88 65 16 7
1417 It’s more of a political statement, really. 1.3409 0.06236 88 63 20 5
1418 It just felt too “Handmaid’s Tale” you know? 1.3409 0.06442 88 64 18 6
1419 I'm the nose cone. 1.3409 0.06236 88 63 20 5
1420 I know, I know. Was rushed dressing but I've gotten a lot of compliments. 1.3409 0.06023 88 62 22 4
1421 It was on sale! 1.3409 0.06836 88 66 14 8
1422 I call it the cone of dignity. 1.3409 0.06023 88 62 22 4
1423 Windy day huh? 1.3407 0.06294 91 66 19 6
1424 Either way, it beats a mask. 1.3407 0.05682 91 63 25 3
1425 75% off 1.3407 0.06670 91 68 15 8
1426 I never know if I’m coming or going! 1.3407 0.07027 91 70 11 10
1427 Coming or going? 1.3407 0.06485 91 67 17 7
1428 Did you get dressed in the dark? 1.3407 0.06485 91 67 17 7
1429 It’s like wearing your mask below your nose 1.3407 0.06096 91 65 21 5
1430 Would you like me to scratch that for you? 1.3407 0.06485 91 67 17 7
1431 It really gives you a different perspective on the world. 1.3407 0.06294 91 66 19 6
1432 ...so the acoustics aren’t as good, but it did shave a quarter second off my lap time... 1.3407 0.06096 91 65 21 5
1433 It's all fun and games until you need to use the dog door. 1.3404 0.05770 94 66 24 4
1434 It got me over ten thousand likes in one hour. 1.3404 0.06515 94 70 16 8
1435 The aerodynamics are better, but it’s still a drag. 1.3404 0.06515 94 70 16 8
1436 I just had to run really fast. 1.3404 0.06515 94 70 16 8
1437 I still like you, but we run in different circles now. 1.3404 0.06515 94 70 16 8
1438 It would appear my human is one leash short of a walk in the park. 1.3404 0.05568 94 65 26 3
1439 Then they rolled down the window, so I just stuck my head out like I always do. 1.3404 0.05965 94 67 22 5
1440 Either way it stinks. 1.3404 0.05965 94 67 22 5
1441 I got lucky, my vet is dyslexic. 1.3402 0.05841 97 69 23 5
1442 Oh no, I didn't have surgery. I'm Cotton Mather's dog. 1.3402 0.06198 97 71 19 7
1443 My vet embraces a hipster style. 1.3402 0.06022 97 70 21 6
1444 Clearly we are made for each other 1.3402 0.06022 97 70 21 6
1445 Hey, don’t you know anything about aerodynamics? 1.3402 0.06198 97 71 19 7
1446 I see you had the trainee vet. 1.3400 0.05360 100 69 28 3
1447 On the other hand, some guys do enjoy wind resistance... 1.3400 0.05898 100 72 22 6
1448 Want me to lick it for you? 1.3400 0.06547 100 76 14 10
1449 And I can run faster too! 1.3400 0.06231 100 74 18 8
1450 What can I tell you? He’s a good owner but absolutely refuses to read instructions. 1.3400 0.06067 100 73 20 7
1451 I still chew, but I feel guilty about it. 1.3400 0.05898 100 72 22 6
1452 No, seriously. This is how we wear them in Australia. 1.3398 0.05943 103 75 21 7
1453 Easy, I just went through the pet door. 1.3398 0.05943 103 75 21 7
1454 It's great for talking, not so great for listening. 1.3398 0.05781 103 74 23 6
1455 It's like an "innie" or an "outie" 1.3396 0.05509 106 75 26 5
1456 I was just trying to turn off the lamp. 1.3396 0.06126 106 79 18 9
1457 Introvert ------Extrovert 1.3380 0.05999 71 48 22 1
1458 The instructions say it's reversible. 1.3380 0.06933 71 51 16 4
1459 That frames your face beautifully! 1.3380 0.06933 71 51 16 4
1460 I was going for more Puritan chic than Edwardian formal. 1.3380 0.06933 71 51 16 4
1461 Well, the so-called ‘experts’ also say not to eat your own poo. 1.3380 0.06933 71 51 16 4
1462 Sorry about your balls, dude. 1.3378 0.07521 74 56 11 7
1463 I think he just doesn't know how to draw necks. 1.3378 0.06168 74 51 21 2
1464 Vet? That’s why I go to a chiropractor. 1.3378 0.07270 74 55 13 6
1465 Well yeah,but it cuts wind resistance and I can look up when it’s raining. 1.3378 0.06742 74 53 17 4
1466 Yeah I run a lot faster now. I look thinner. It’s just really I feel like an all around “better me”. 1.3378 0.06742 74 53 17 4
1467 I bought mine at untuckit.com 1.3377 0.06820 77 56 16 5
1468 Yeah! I got the part in the upcoming season of Handmaid's Tale! 1.3377 0.07066 77 57 14 6
1469 I'm Australian. 1.3377 0.07066 77 57 14 6
1470 It's how all the dogs are wearing it in Paris! 1.3377 0.07304 77 58 12 7
1471 I see that you are not from around here. 1.3377 0.06820 77 56 16 5
1472 My vet may be dyslexic, but the thermometer goes in my mouth. 1.3377 0.06299 77 54 20 3
1473 Did you jump DOWN through a lampshade? 1.3377 0.06820 77 56 16 5
1474 It gives me better mileage! 1.3377 0.06565 77 55 18 4
1475 ... and this vet will prescribe mushrooms too. 1.3375 0.05610 80 54 25 1
1476 This feels like a Yin-Yang moment. 1.3375 0.06877 80 59 15 6
1477 It's a "think outside the cone" solution. 1.3375 0.07103 80 60 13 7
1478 Ask yourself ‘Does the cone shame the dog or does the dog shame the cone?’ 1.3375 0.06400 80 57 19 4
1479 I couldn't see the keys to play the piano. 1.3375 0.06148 80 56 21 3
1480 I thought the light bulb was a ball. You? 1.3373 0.06477 83 60 18 5
1481 One good sneeze will fix it. 1.3373 0.06700 83 61 16 6
1482 Car... window... need I say more? 1.3373 0.06477 83 60 18 5
1483 The manual says it offers protection without forgoing the pleasure. 1.3373 0.06700 83 61 16 6
1484 Thank God my master is a complete idiot. 1.3373 0.07125 83 63 12 8
1485 I find that look a bit too preppy for me 1.3373 0.06477 83 60 18 5
1486 Wait until you're running into a head wind!" 1.3373 0.06006 83 58 22 3
1487 What cone? 1.3373 0.06700 83 61 16 6
1488 No, I'm a nun. 1.3373 0.06477 83 60 18 5
1489 This is a lot more aerodynamic. 1.3373 0.06246 83 59 20 4
1490 It also makes a darling skirt! 1.3373 0.06477 83 60 18 5
1491 It’s a retro look, but it’s still evolving. 1.3372 0.06102 86 61 21 4
1492 Check it out... butt sniffing made easy. 1.3372 0.06741 86 64 15 7
1493 That collar is so pre-covid 1.3372 0.06322 86 62 19 5
1494 My parents are hipsters. 1.3372 0.06102 86 61 21 4
1495 Just one more reason to stick your head out of the car window! 1.3372 0.06322 86 62 19 5
1496 Listen, scratch my back, and I'll scratch yours. 1.3372 0.06102 86 61 21 4
1497 Run like the wind, my friend. Run like the wind! 1.3372 0.06322 86 62 19 5
1498 Well maybe *your* owner is doing it wrong. 1.3372 0.06102 86 61 21 4
1499 They forgot about the dog door. 1.3372 0.06741 86 64 15 7
1500 You appreciate the improved aerodynamics almost immediately. 1.3372 0.06322 86 62 19 5
1501 Just wait until it rains... then you’ll wish it was facing the same way mine is. 1.3372 0.06322 86 62 19 5
1502 Medically, they are both effective, but I get to eat. 1.3372 0.06102 86 61 21 4
1503 I’m glad you came over - I’’m an introvert. 1.3372 0.06322 86 62 19 5
1504 And it improves your getaway speed if they drop the leash. 1.3372 0.06322 86 62 19 5
1505 Mine is to protect my implants. 1.3372 0.06322 86 62 19 5
1506 Just find yourself a wind tunnel. 1.3372 0.06102 86 61 21 4
1507 Yep, a recent vet school grad! 1.3372 0.06322 86 62 19 5
1508 The science says they really don't work, you know. 1.3372 0.06102 86 61 21 4
1509 You just gotta run really fast 1.3371 0.06578 89 66 16 7
1510 It’s not put on wrong! My veterinarian is just dyslexic. 1.3371 0.06381 89 65 18 6
1511 It's not what you wear, bitch, it's how you wear it. 1.3371 0.06578 89 66 16 7
1512 My crime?—cat chase, lampshade. What you in for? 1.3371 0.06177 89 64 20 5
1513 He just got a new convertible and it is FAST! 1.3371 0.06381 89 65 18 6
1514 More aerodynamic this way 1.3371 0.06177 89 64 20 5
1515 I was going for the Puritan look. 1.3371 0.06381 89 65 18 6
1516 "Just sayin', Mildred, maybe it's time for a new look." 1.3371 0.06177 89 64 20 5
1517 Well, it was more of a cosmetic procedure 1.3371 0.05967 89 63 22 4
1518 I tell you, you don't have to change, it's just a matter of perspective 1.3371 0.06177 89 64 20 5
1519 This way my flatulence doesn’t bother me that much. 1.3371 0.05967 89 63 22 4
1520 Next time, go up the lamp. 1.3370 0.06786 92 70 13 9
1521 All the cool dogs are wearing it backwards these days. 1.3370 0.06041 92 66 21 5
1522 That was quite a wind! 1.3370 0.05840 92 65 23 4
1523 I crashed through a popcorn bucket. You? 1.3370 0.06041 92 66 21 5
1524 Dude,your stuck in the cone of silence. 1.3370 0.05840 92 65 23 4
1525 I wonder how many are trying out for that retro RCA ad? 1.3370 0.06608 92 69 15 8
1526 I'm telling you, just turn and face the wind and you'll be back normal in no time. 1.3370 0.06236 92 67 19 6
1527 Hey! I have an innie and you have an outie. 1.3370 0.06786 92 70 13 9
1528 The wife makes me wear it in public. This is my small act of defiance. 1.3370 0.06041 92 66 21 5
1529 Breast reduction. And you? 1.3370 0.05840 92 65 23 4
1530 You’re not wearing your mask properly. 1.3370 0.06608 92 69 15 8
1531 It accentuates my eyes. 1.3368 0.05817 95 70 19 6
1532 I didn't have the heart to tell them. 1.3368 0.06456 95 71 16 8
1533 It's easy! Just stick your head out the window on the expressway. 1.3368 0.06280 95 70 18 7
1534 It's called a Conical Canonical and reflects my recent repudiation of humanism. 1.3368 0.05913 95 68 22 5
1535 That's exactly how they want you to wear it. Free your mind, man. 1.3368 0.06456 95 71 16 8
1536 Well, Meghan is the expert on collaring, and she says Elizabethian is out. 1.3368 0.06280 95 70 18 7
1537 Do I still look fat? 1.3368 0.05314 95 65 28 2
1538 He's out of network, but worth every penny. 1.3368 0.06099 95 69 20 6
1539 But seriously who cares anymore? 1.3368 0.06280 95 70 18 7
1540 Welp. I thought it was a cape. 1.3368 0.06280 95 70 18 7
1541 I can also do the moonwalk 1.3368 0.05720 95 67 24 4
1542 Oh, I see you’re wearing last season’s style. 1.3368 0.05521 95 66 26 3
1543 My hooman never reads the instructions. 1.3367 0.06144 98 72 19 7
1544 I prefer this look. Of course, our balls were still cut off. 1.3367 0.05792 98 70 23 5
1545 You scratch my back and I lick your balls? Sounds fair. 1.3367 0.06478 98 74 15 9
1546 Reversed, it’s no longer a cone of shame, now I’m a member of the clergy. 1.3367 0.06478 98 74 15 9
1547 They got me the premium model that converts to this setting for car rides with the window down. 1.3367 0.04907 98 73 20 5
1548 Mine's built for speed! 1.3367 0.05971 98 71 21 6
1549 You went to the vet, too?" - "No. I fought a lamp. I won. 1.3367 0.05700 98 72 20 6
1550 I still can't gnaw at myself but I'm way more aerodynamic. 1.3366 0.05677 101 72 24 5
1551 My owners believe in reverse psychology. 1.3366 0.05849 101 73 22 6
1552 No I decided to join the church 1.3366 0.06178 101 75 18 8
1553 Trust me, it’s easier to lick your balls. 1.3365 0.06203 104 78 17 9
1554 I take it you're an introvert? 1.3365 0.05895 104 76 21 7
1555 My vet accepts bribes. 1.3364 0.06077 107 80 18 9
1556 You scratch my back and I'll scratch yours 1.3362 0.05468 116 84 25 7
1557 I stuck my head out the car window and started it new fad. 1.3333 0.06321 90 66 18 6
1558 This way I don't get stuck in that damn doggie door. 1.3333 0.06224 96 71 18 7
1559 I can get so much more licking done this way. 1.3333 0.05819 87 61 23 3
1560 My owner's a nun. 1.3333 0.06932 75 55 15 5
1561 So you're a "collar-popped-up" kind of guy 1.3333 0.05960 78 54 22 2
1562 I would if we were dating. 1.3333 0.06412 84 61 18 5
1563 I told you my owner doesn't know his back-end from his head. 1.3333 0.05966 102 75 20 7
1564 Your barking’s not as loud, but it’s way easier to stick your head out the car window 1.3333 0.06743 69 49 17 3
1565 Hi Flashlight, I'm Sister Lucy 1.3333 0.06888 90 69 12 9
1566 He's dyslexic. 1.3333 0.06495 78 56 18 4
1567 It’s easy, just stick your head out of the car window next time. 1.3333 0.06412 84 61 18 5
1568 Quite simple, you just have to stand in front of a fan. 1.3333 0.06560 72 51 18 3
1569 Sure, I lose a little in scent and sound collection, but I gain so much aerodynamically. 1.3333 0.06185 84 60 20 4
1570 I’m an Australian Shepard. This is how we wear them down under. 1.3333 0.05702 84 58 24 2
1571 I don't think you scratching my back if I lick you-know-where is entirely fair. 1.3333 0.06365 93 69 17 7
1572 I guess I am a bit different. 1.3333 0.06185 84 60 20 4
1573 I can run faster this way. 1.3333 0.06471 87 64 17 6
1574 My humans and I came to a compromise. 1.3333 0.05671 96 68 24 4
1575 ...I know, but I gain 1.3 mph more when chasing squirrels. 1.3333 0.06675 87 65 15 7
1576 It's simple, just stick your head out the window when they're driving fast. 1.3333 0.06471 87 64 17 6
1577 You know how we do it... just stick your head out the car window 1.3333 0.06573 81 59 17 5
1578 It's Backward Day at obedience school. 1.3333 0.06515 90 67 16 7
1579 Its a convertable! 1.3333 0.05575 84 60 21 3
1580 You’re right, my love of period dramas has gotten out of hand. 1.3333 0.05631 102 73 24 5
1581 This is Biden's America. 1.3333 0.06471 87 64 17 6
1582 It's the aerodynamic model 1.3333 0.06632 84 62 16 6
1583 Mine's a Dior. 1.3333 0.06120 90 65 20 5
1584 Oh that? I'm pre op 1.3333 0.06573 81 59 17 5
1585 I know. My owner is left-handed. 1.3333 0.05966 102 75 20 7
1586 I was tired of the 'Handmaid's Tale' jokes. 1.3333 0.07912 72 56 8 8
1587 The canine equivalent to wearing your mask below your nose. 1.3333 0.07132 72 53 14 5
1588 It has changed my life! 1.3333 0.06321 90 66 18 6
1589 You don't want to see where he puts my leash. 1.3333 0.06091 99 73 19 7
1590 Who did yours? 1.3333 0.06560 72 51 18 3
1591 I lucked out, my owner didn't read the manual. 1.3333 0.05861 96 69 22 5
1592 They’re using reverse psychology on me. 1.3333 0.06086 81 57 21 3
1593 I turned my cone of shame into a fashion statement. 1.3333 0.06044 87 62 21 4
1594 OK Boomer 1.3333 0.06283 102 77 16 9
1595 it cut 10 seconds on my 100 yard dash time! 1.3333 0.05275 102 71 28 3
1596 Much more aerodynamic. 1.3333 0.07051 84 64 12 8
1597 I’ll scratch yours if you’ll scratch mine. 1.3333 0.06804 81 60 15 6
1598 It’s to keep me from touching my face 1.3333 0.06185 84 60 20 4
1599 So ... Have you ever been in a wind tunnel? 1.3333 0.06804 81 60 15 6
1600 I just really hate the sound of my own voice. 1.3333 0.06412 84 61 18 5
1601 Trump is gone. It's okay to listen again! 1.3333 0.06845 84 63 14 7
1602 I suppose it's a matter of taste". 1.3333 0.07187 75 56 13 6
1603 Careful, it's kinda windy outside. 1.3333 0.06932 75 55 15 5
1604 No, really. They clocked me at going 93 miles an hour out of that vet’s office. 1.3333 0.06471 87 64 17 6
1605 Yes....and Dog is just God spelled backwards, so what’s your point? 1.3333 0.06845 84 63 14 7
1606 introvert meets extrovert 1.3333 0.07052 69 50 15 4
1607 Don't you just love it -- it's reversible! 1.3333 0.05912 90 64 22 4
1608 At least your bark sounds deeper. 1.3333 0.06989 78 58 14 6
1609 This way it's a cone of style, not shame. 1.3333 0.06632 84 62 16 6
1610 My only explanation is my human must be dyslexic 1.3333 0.06989 78 58 14 6
1611 All it took was a little reverse psychology! 1.3333 0.06261 87 63 19 5
1612 Viva la différence ! 1.3333 0.06746 78 57 16 5
1613 Expecting rain? 1.3333 0.06185 84 60 20 4
1614 My owners are big on reverse psychology. 1.3333 0.06179 93 68 19 6
1615 Apparently it's how all the neutered dogs are wearing it now. 1.3333 0.06989 78 58 14 6
1616 You see a cone of shame I see a daring fashion statement. 1.3333 0.06334 81 58 19 4
1617 Plus, mine makes me look faster! 1.3333 0.05847 105 77 21 7
1618 The doctor LIKES me 1.3333 0.06804 81 60 15 6
1619 This way we can still give kisses. 1.3333 0.05456 102 72 26 4
1620 Either way. It's hard. 1.3333 0.06365 93 69 17 7
1621 Gary, nobody wears it like that anymore. 1.3333 0.05262 108 76 28 4
1622 It's way more aero. 1.3333 0.07027 81 61 13 7
1623 He can’t figure out a pastry bag either! 1.3333 0.07223 78 59 12 7
1624 Just run as fast as you can, into the wind. 1.3333 0.05920 99 72 21 6
1625 That thing on your head looks stupid. 1.3333 0.06046 96 70 20 6
1626 fashion > function 1.3333 0.06573 81 59 17 5
1627 And when the speedometer hits 87 mph, no more, no less, that’s when you stick your head out the window. 1.3333 0.06283 102 77 16 9
1628 I'm telling you, sticking your head out the car window is way better with that thing on! 1.3333 0.06179 93 68 19 6
1629 It’s a Pilgrim thing. 1.3333 0.05788 93 66 23 4
1630 Two dogs explaining to humans why it’s important to wear a face mask properly 1.3333 0.06932 75 55 15 5
1631 I tried it that way but couldn't lick my butt. 1.3333 0.05966 102 75 20 7
1632 I've always preferred backing in. 1.3333 0.05165 96 73 17 6
1633 I'll scratch your butt if you scratch mine. 1.3333 0.06365 93 69 17 7
1634 I wasn't at the vet, I got mine when I knocked a lamp over. 1.3333 0.06412 84 61 18 5
1635 It adds an element of aerodynamic sophistication. 1.3333 0.06044 87 62 21 4
1636 Sure that magnifies your bark, but at least I can still bite 1.3333 0.06044 87 62 21 4
1637 At least we can still sniff each other's butts. 1.3333 0.06471 87 64 17 6
1638 It looks great on you, but I just knew I couldn’t pull off that Handmaid’s Tale look. 1.3333 0.06932 75 55 15 5
1639 Well, during Paris Fashion Week everyone was wearing them this way. 1.3333 0.05788 93 66 23 4
1640 It's easy. You just walk in backwards like you're walking out... 1.3333 0.06261 87 63 19 5
1641 I still can't reach my nuts, but at least now I can see them 1.3333 0.06126 102 76 18 8
1642 This way the shame is on the inside. 1.3333 0.06029 108 81 18 9
1643 I got my head stuck in a lampshade too! 1.3333 0.06120 90 65 20 5
1644 My therapist says shame slows the healing process 1.3333 0.05948 84 59 22 3
1645 It's Fashion Week 1.3333 0.06632 84 62 16 6
1646 Max, I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship. 1.3333 0.05933 87 64 18 5
1647 I don't like to read instructions. 1.3333 0.06852 72 52 16 4
1648 No, I just had a run-in with the lamp. 1.3333 0.06804 81 60 15 6
1649 Objects in mirror, are closer than they appear. 1.3333 0.05934 72 49 22 1
1650 Popped collars are so last year. 1.3333 0.05987 93 67 21 5
1651 They said it was making my barks too loud. 1.3333 0.07223 78 59 12 7
1652 I know, right? They let the intern handle the cones again. 1.3333 0.06086 81 57 21 3
1653 This way makes me look slimmer. 1.3333 0.05671 96 68 24 4
1654 My vet is holistic. 1.3333 0.06573 81 59 17 5
1655 Some dogs chase the trends, I create them. 1.3333 0.06120 90 65 20 5
1656 And you should see the doghouse my owners got me from IKEA 1.3333 0.06560 72 51 18 3
1657 No, I don't have fleas. I ran into a lamp. 1.3333 0.06185 84 60 20 4
1658 Yours gets better reception 1.3333 0.06261 87 63 19 5
1659 So, your human still not woke, huh? 1.3333 0.07132 72 53 14 5
1660 Mine is a N94 , I ordered it on line 1.3333 0.06258 99 74 17 8
1661 You dive in the lake one time. 1.3333 0.06573 81 59 17 5
1662 Cone of shame? Try the Cone of Fame! 1.3304 0.05365 112 83 22 7
1663 I don't have any teeth so mine is more of a fashion statement. 1.3302 0.05315 106 75 27 4
1664 And to think they told me it wasn't reversible. 1.3302 0.06102 106 80 17 9
1665 It's aerodynamic - you must feel a lot of drag. 1.3301 0.06230 103 78 16 9
1666 So I guess you’re not Jewish, huh? 1.3301 0.05917 103 76 20 7
1667 What are you looking at? It’s not like I did this to myself... 1.3300 0.05423 100 73 22 5
1668 Mine’s for extroverts. 1.3300 0.06204 100 75 17 8
1669 I had just finished telling that vet that he wouldn't know his head from his tail 1.3300 0.06365 100 76 15 9
1670 I like the way it highlights your nose. 1.3300 0.05695 100 72 23 5
1671 Look friend, I run 30% faster with this thing on! 1.3299 0.05811 97 70 22 5
1672 No surgery, just dressing like a lamp today. 1.3299 0.05811 97 70 22 5
1673 I know. I got dressed in the dark this morning. 1.3299 0.05993 97 71 20 6
1674 What are you in for? I got caught lickin’. 1.3299 0.05993 97 71 20 6
1675 My vet said it's a better look on Zoom. 1.3299 0.05227 97 72 20 5
1676 I don't think it makes your face look fat. 1.3299 0.05993 97 71 20 6
1677 „Updated CDC guidance.“ 1.3299 0.05623 97 69 24 4
1678 I swallowed the light bulb. 1.3298 0.05737 94 67 23 4
1679 I had my neuter reversed. 1.3298 0.06486 94 71 15 8
1680 I decided to prioritize comfort over functionality. 1.3298 0.06123 94 69 19 6
1681 I thought I was getting ice cream. You? 1.3298 0.06307 94 70 17 7
1682 The vet's friend of mine. 1.3298 0.05737 94 67 23 4
1683 Honey, the event is casual, not formal. 1.3298 0.06123 94 69 19 6
1684 My people subscribe to the progressive method. 1.3298 0.05534 94 66 25 3
1685 I like thinking out of the cone 1.3298 0.06486 94 71 15 8
1686 Less drag this way. 1.3298 0.05637 94 69 20 5
1687 My dad threw away the instructions. 1.3298 0.06123 94 69 19 6
1688 Next time try getting yours at The Humane Society. 1.3297 0.06261 91 67 18 6
1689 I was tired of feeling "Greater Than". 1.3297 0.06063 91 66 20 5
1690 Very nice! Is it Dior? 1.3297 0.06454 91 68 16 7
1691 We can kiss, but not neck. 1.3297 0.06454 91 68 16 7
1692 Dyslectic vet 1.3297 0.06063 91 66 20 5
1693 I have to use a little hair product but then it stays back for most of the day.” 1.3297 0.06261 91 67 18 6
1694 Don't look at me like that! I saw it in Vogue. 1.3297 0.06454 91 68 16 7
1695 Maybe don't stick your head out of the car window. 1.3297 0.06063 91 66 20 5
1696 Did you know you have a lamp shade on your head? 1.3297 0.05537 91 71 13 7
1697 My therapist says I need to focus more on my surroundings, and live in the moment 1.3297 0.06261 91 67 18 6
1698 Does your owner wear their mask on their forehead? 1.3297 0.05646 91 64 24 3
1699 What surgery? I got my head stuck in a megaphone. 1.3297 0.06640 91 69 14 8
1700 Oh yeah, well I can still drink from the toilet, you can’t. 1.3297 0.06454 91 68 16 7
1701 I've been telling you, you've got to use reverse psychology on humans 1.3295 0.06201 88 64 19 5
1702 There are advantages in being clergy. 1.3295 0.06609 88 66 15 7
1703 Lampshade, and you? 1.3295 0.06993 88 68 11 9
1704 Margaret Atwood called and asked me to audition. 1.3295 0.06804 88 67 13 8
1705 I told them it was too windy to go for a walk 1.3295 0.06409 88 65 17 6
1706 What are you, an idiot? 1.3295 0.06409 88 65 17 6
1707 At least you know when you have dog-food breath. 1.3295 0.04343 88 64 22 2
1708 To each his cone. 1.3295 0.06609 88 66 15 7
1709 And you just BELIEVE what the vet tells you?" 1.3295 0.06409 88 65 17 6
1710 My master does it with his baseball cap. 1.3295 0.06201 88 64 19 5
1711 Simply stand facing the wind. 1.3295 0.06201 88 64 19 5
1712 My owner likes Rembrandt. 1.3295 0.06201 88 64 19 5
1713 I still can’t lick myself, but at least I look good. 1.3295 0.05765 88 62 23 3
1714 Yes, my owners usually wear masks below their nose... why do you ask? 1.3295 0.06201 88 64 19 5
1715 I've decided to go into the priesthood, 1.3294 0.06124 85 61 20 4
1716 You have to know how to train them. 1.3294 0.06348 85 62 18 5
1717 I feel 20 years younger. 1.3294 0.06565 85 63 16 6
1718 Introvert vs. Extrovert 1.3294 0.06124 85 61 20 4
1719 I guess our vet is dyslexic, but I am just being obtuse. 1.3294 0.06565 85 63 16 6
1720 It's not too late. You can still switch to the Sisters of St. Joseph. 1.3294 0.06348 85 62 18 5
1721 This works better on the top of Mitt Romney's car. 1.3294 0.06565 85 63 16 6
1722 What echo chamber? 1.3294 0.06565 85 63 16 6
1723 Oh that's so last dog-year." 1.3294 0.06124 85 61 20 4
1724 Yeah. All you have to do is run like hell through your doggie door. 1.3294 0.06124 85 61 20 4
1725 Mange is a hoax. 1.3294 0.06775 85 64 14 7
1726 Wind resistance is noticeably less. 1.3294 0.06348 85 62 18 5
1727 ANOTHER thing we do not agree on! 1.3294 0.05648 85 59 24 2
1728 I've traded reception for speed... 1.3294 0.06775 85 64 14 7
1729 I was rear-ended and my lawyer thinks it's serious! 1.3294 0.06775 85 64 14 7
1730 helluva head wind out there. 1.3294 0.06124 85 61 20 4
1731 I'm a cone head and you're the flying nun 1.3294 0.06348 85 62 18 5
1732 when I sit, I stop traffic 1.3294 0.06979 85 65 12 8
1733 My mom really likes RBG 1.3294 0.06565 85 63 16 6
1734 We left Elizabethan England for Plimoth so we could wear our collars this way. 1.3294 0.06124 85 61 20 4
1735 I just stuck my head out the car at just the right angle 1.3294 0.06124 85 61 20 4
1736 My owner's an idiot, that's why! 1.3293 0.06505 82 60 17 5
1737 My owner seldom reads directions 1.3293 0.06953 82 62 13 7
1738 Dude! You gotta get the aerodynamic upgrade. 1.3293 0.06505 82 60 17 5
1739 Difference is my friend. I look goooooood. 1.3293 0.06505 82 60 17 5
1740 I think it looks more fetching this way. 1.3293 0.06270 82 59 19 4
1741 This is one of the things I like best about divinity school 1.3293 0.07166 82 63 11 8
1742 I stopped scratching and joined the clergy. 1.3293 0.06505 82 60 17 5
1743 Couldn't you get the vaccine? 1.3293 0.06953 82 62 13 7
1744 It sucks to be you when it rains! 1.3293 0.06270 82 59 19 4
1745 Yeah? Well, I think yours is on backwards! 1.3293 0.06025 82 58 21 3
1746 I know a guy... 1.3293 0.06505 82 60 17 5
1747 Your may hear better, but I can run faster. 1.3293 0.06733 82 61 15 6
1748 It was easy. I just told Karen it would be slenderizing. 1.3293 0.06505 82 60 17 5
1749 Not sure— I think it’s to prevent my body from licking my face 1.3293 0.06953 82 62 13 7
1750 On a diet again, Brian? 1.3293 0.05770 82 57 23 2
1751 Hi, my name is Ginsburg. I like to take long walks in the park and dissent. 1.3293 0.07166 82 63 11 8
1752 It keeps my ass from licking my face 1.3293 0.06505 82 60 17 5
1753 Preppie. 1.3291 0.06674 79 58 16 5
1754 No, YOU look stupid. 1.3291 0.06674 79 58 16 5
1755 I was just itching to try this. 1.3291 0.06426 79 57 18 4
1756 No, I didn't have the heart to tell him. 1.3291 0.06168 79 56 20 3
1757 Strong prevailing winds today! 1.3291 0.07143 79 60 12 7
1758 Yeah, it looks cooler but I still can't lick everything. 1.3291 0.07143 79 60 12 7
1759 ”If you open your mouth does the light go on? 1.3291 0.05899 79 55 22 2
1760 Sometimes it's good when they don't know what they're doing 1.3291 0.06426 79 57 18 4
1761 Wow, it sure is windy today. 1.3291 0.06426 79 57 18 4
1762 I think my look is more fashion-forward. 1.3291 0.06168 79 56 20 3
1763 I refuse to comply with the cone mandate. 1.3291 0.06912 79 59 14 6
1764 The CDC keeps changing its mind, so I just decided to go with this. 1.3291 0.06674 79 58 16 5
1765 My person doesn't wear his over his nose, either. 1.3291 0.06674 79 58 16 5
1766 I bought the reversible kind and I simply adore it. 1.3291 0.05899 79 55 22 2
1767 Bought off the rack, eh? 1.3289 0.06037 76 53 21 2
1768 WOW....It’s really windy outside 1.3289 0.06593 76 55 17 4
1769 This way you keep them happy but lick whatever you want. 1.3289 0.06037 76 53 21 2
1770 I stuck my head out the window on the freeway. 1.3289 0.06037 76 56 17 3
1771 ...and they say “G’day” instead of “Hello” it’s so charming, you’d love it... 1.3289 0.06593 76 55 17 4
1772 Bless you Sister. Bless you Father. 1.3289 0.06321 76 54 19 3
1773 Being an "outie" makes you no less a good dog. 1.3289 0.06037 76 53 21 2
1774 When I wear it that way, the echos drive me nutsy 1.3289 0.06854 76 56 15 5
1775 But isn’t shame itself a human construct? 1.3289 0.07105 76 57 13 6
1776 It’s called street style. 1.3289 0.06593 76 55 17 4
1777 When you need to cross the road just flip it backwards. 1.3289 0.06321 76 54 19 3
1778 Its a new fashion statement, like wearing your baseball cap backwards! 1.3288 0.07048 73 54 14 5
1779 I have my human better trained 1.3288 0.07569 73 56 10 7
1780 Long story, short; I went to Buddy's birthday bash and woke up wearing this lampshade. 1.3288 0.07048 73 54 14 5
1781 This feels less punitive. 1.3288 0.07048 73 54 14 5
1782 So I stuck my head out of the car window ... 1.3288 0.06773 73 53 16 4
1783 Mine's an actual collar. 1.3288 0.06773 73 53 16 4
1784 I've always been an avant-guard dog. 1.3286 0.07258 70 52 13 5
1785 Bark less, wag more, and Voila! 1.3286 0.06817 70 53 12 5
1786 They know. But they also know I'm too fat to reach my balls anyway. 1.3286 0.06967 70 51 15 4
1787 Some people just shouldn’t have a dog 1.3286 0.07808 70 54 9 7
1788 Lagerfeld is fine but the Vermeer gives me a little more freedom 1.3284 0.07782 67 51 10 6
1789 Upturned collars are sooo 70’s, Dawg! 1.3284 0.07177 67 49 14 4
1790 Ran into a headwind 1.3276 0.05714 116 87 20 9
1791 Can I lick that for you? 1.3269 0.06025 104 78 18 8
1792 Yes, I did run into a very strong wind. Why do you ask? 1.3267 0.06151 101 76 17 8
1793 Are you going or coming? 1.3267 0.06151 101 76 17 8
1794 Just stick your head out the car window, and there you go. 1.3265 0.05941 98 72 20 6
1795 Mostly the same, just better in the wind. 1.3265 0.05576 98 70 24 4
1796 Really. Your master told you it is fashionable? 1.3265 0.05761 98 71 22 5
1797 You'll have to speak up...I can't hear you. 1.3265 0.06285 98 74 16 8
1798 I wish I could take the credit, but Mike is just a really dumb owner. 1.3265 0.06611 98 76 12 10
1799 You would think my owner would have gotten this right given he works at IKEA. 1.3265 0.05941 98 72 20 6
1800 I'm going the clergy. 1.3265 0.05576 98 70 24 4
1801 Mine was benign 1.3265 0.05941 98 72 20 6
1802 The Vet's wife said, he always gets things' ass-backward' ! 1.3265 0.05941 98 72 20 6
1803 I've done my research. 1.3265 0.05576 98 70 24 4
1804 Fox News said that it was more effective this way. 1.3263 0.06068 95 70 19 6
1805 Yep, lobster for dinner again. 1.3263 0.06250 95 71 17 7
1806 It’s a ruff. 1.3263 0.06250 95 71 17 7
1807 Lucky for me, my vet is dyslexic. 1.3263 0.06599 95 73 13 9
1808 Don't be silly -- Elizabethan is classic. I've just always been drawn to Dutch Masters. 1.3263 0.05881 95 69 21 5
1809 It's actually really flattering. Makes your face look thinner." 1.3263 0.05881 95 69 21 5
1810 I’ve been scratching my head trying to figure out how this works 1.3263 0.05881 95 69 21 5
1811 That's so Elizabethan. I've moved forward to the Puritan. 1.3261 0.06393 92 69 16 7
1812 Chewy. And who are you wearing? 1.3261 0.06756 92 71 12 9
1813 Not only is it much more comfortable, it's 88% as effective, according to the latest veterinary medical journals I've been peeing on. 1.3261 0.06393 92 69 16 7
1814 The difference between constraint and fashion is negligible 1.3261 0.06008 92 67 20 5
1815 For two weeks, until my tail stops chasing me 1.3261 0.05151 92 63 28 1
1816 Paris. Where's yours from? 1.3261 0.06008 92 67 20 5
1817 Careful,strong wind. 1.3261 0.06393 92 69 16 7
1818 You're either in, or you're out. 1.3261 0.06203 92 68 18 6
1819 They say that's the most effective way to wear it, but my Facebook group says it's a hoax." 1.3261 0.05806 92 66 22 4
1820 I find it's more aerodynamic and virtually eliminates blindspots 1.3261 0.06393 92 69 16 7
1821 Don't try to look, but there is a giant raccoon that is about to bite you. 1.3258 0.05931 89 64 21 4
1822 I reverse engineered it. 1.3258 0.06737 89 68 13 8
1823 Oh, Haute Couture! Don't you just love fashion week? 1.3258 0.06737 89 68 13 8
1824 I’m not saying you’re wrong, but there is another point of view. 1.3258 0.05931 89 64 21 4
1825 Who says you can’t teach an old dog new tricks? 1.3258 0.05931 89 64 21 4
1826 My vet? Oh, they're new. They do Alternative Medicine. 1.3258 0.06545 89 67 15 7
1827 I found it was ruining my zoom lighting. 1.3258 0.05931 89 64 21 4
1828 I said I like Trump, so they put this on to keep my head out of my ass. 1.3258 0.07106 89 70 9 10
1829 Ha ha! Mine's on my chest, yours must be on your butt! 1.3258 0.06143 89 65 19 5
1830 Dude,How old is your Vet? 1.3258 0.06143 89 65 19 5
1831 I just hope you can accept me for who I am. 1.3258 0.06143 89 65 19 5
1832 Is the pandemic over? 1.3258 0.05931 89 64 21 4
1833 In my progressive obedience school we learned negotiation. 1.3256 0.06500 86 64 16 6
1834 Mine's an Edwardian collar. They were out of Elizabethans. 1.3256 0.06500 86 64 16 6
1835 Anglican? 1.3256 0.06500 86 64 16 6
1836 I find it's more aerodynamic this way. 1.3256 0.06064 86 62 20 4
1837 If you want, I can sniff other dog-butts and describe them to you. 1.3256 0.06908 86 66 12 8
1838 Great party, but it's lampshade not a cone. 1.3256 0.05834 86 61 22 3
1839 Same protection. 30% less shame 1.3256 0.06064 86 62 20 4
1840 Some wind, huh? 1.3256 0.06286 86 63 18 5
1841 It's my constitutional right to wear my cone backwards. 1.3256 0.06064 86 62 20 4
1842 I told you I had a Dutch master. 1.3256 0.06908 86 66 12 8
1843 It’s like it’s not even there! 1.3256 0.06064 86 62 20 4
1844 No, I’m pretty sure the pilgrims wore it THIS way. 1.3256 0.06064 86 62 20 4
1845 I still get confused.....is it “Less Than < or Greater Than <“ ? 1.3256 0.06707 86 65 14 7
1846 I hate to tell you but you put it on inside out and backwards 1.3256 0.06064 86 62 20 4
1847 We'll have to agree to disagree. 1.3253 0.06439 83 61 17 5
1848 I guess it only helps for kissing. 1.3253 0.05965 83 59 21 3
1849 Hey, wanna play priest and nun? 1.3253 0.06880 83 63 13 7
1850 It makes me more aerodynamic. 1.3253 0.06439 83 61 17 5
1851 Yin meets Yang 1.3253 0.06663 83 62 15 6
1852 But your look is so much more slimming. 1.3253 0.06206 83 60 19 4
1853 I like to wear it as a cape sometimes. 1.3253 0.06206 83 60 19 4
1854 Man wasn't that a bender. 1.3253 0.05965 83 59 21 3
1855 It’s still somewhat annoying, but at least I can lick my butt... 1.3253 0.06880 83 63 13 7
1856 I find that this way is better for chasing cats. 1.3253 0.05450 83 57 25 1
1857 Newest E.P.A. regulations. Apparently, now it's all about the aerodynamics. 1.3253 0.06439 83 61 17 5
1858 It’s true that my hearing is less acute, but I can run faster. 1.3253 0.06663 83 62 15 6
1859 It all depends on which end you put on first. 1.3253 0.06439 83 61 17 5
1860 I know but now I can hear behind me. 1.3253 0.07090 83 64 11 8
1861 I lucked out. Dyslexic vet". 1.3253 0.06663 83 62 15 6
1862 They also taught me how to write a sonnet. 1.3253 0.06206 83 60 19 4
1863 I’m with Ruth 1.3253 0.06663 83 62 15 6
1864 But you have to hit the doggie door juuust right. 1.3250 0.06104 80 57 20 3
1865 I'm from Australia. 1.3250 0.06838 80 60 14 6
1866 They can’t neuter my sense of whimsy. 1.3250 0.06358 80 58 18 4
1867 I am following last week's CDC Guidelines. 1.3250 0.06602 80 59 16 5
1868 Hey, a match made in heaven! 1.3250 0.06838 80 60 14 6
1869 Pfizer or Moderna? 1.3250 0.06358 80 58 18 4
1870 It's inside-out day at doggie daycare. 1.3250 0.06481 80 61 13 6
1871 This is what happens if you go to a Trump speech. 1.3250 0.06602 80 59 16 5
1872 It’s called the “cone of speed.” 1.3250 0.06602 80 59 16 5
1873 Didn't you hear, Pilgrim is the new Elizabethan? 1.3250 0.06602 80 59 16 5
1874 Wear it like this at the dog park so you don't get beat up by the other dogs. 1.3250 0.06838 80 60 14 6
1875 if you wear it this way, it smooths out all your wrinkles 1.3250 0.06602 80 59 16 5
1876 It’s the latest from Apple; the iCone 4 1.3250 0.06602 80 59 16 5
1877 Cone of shame? Oh no Harold, this is the cone of fame! 1.3250 0.06838 80 60 14 6
1878 My sex therapist says it's healthy. 1.3247 0.06778 77 57 15 5
1879 Popped collars are very 2001, Mark. 1.3247 0.06253 77 55 19 3
1880 How do you sniff crotch in that thing? 1.3247 0.06521 77 56 17 4
1881 Are you as humiliated as I am right now? 1.3247 0.06521 77 56 17 4
1882 It seems you have the female adaptor, and I have the male! 1.3247 0.06253 77 55 19 3
1883 Mine is obviously wholly cosmetic. 1.3247 0.06253 77 55 19 3
1884 'I can't believe we had it backwards all this time!' 1.3247 0.06778 77 57 15 5
1885 I have a note from my vet. 1.3247 0.06778 77 57 15 5
1886 Left-handed vet. 1.3247 0.06778 77 57 15 5
1887 I don't think you actually know what 'reverse doggy style' means. 1.3247 0.06521 77 56 17 4
1888 I bet your humans wear their masks wrong too. 1.3247 0.05974 77 54 21 2
1889 Sorry I'm late, the wind was nuts! 1.3243 0.07227 74 56 12 6
1890 No, Rex. Upwind. 1.3243 0.06695 74 54 16 4
1891 I'm telling you - flip it around and you're a super hero! 1.3243 0.06966 74 55 14 5
1892 It's simple--You're an introvert and I'm an extrovert. 1.3243 0.06966 74 55 14 5
1893 I'll scratch your wound if you'll lick my butt. 1.3243 0.06966 74 55 14 5
1894 Tell your doctor that those Victorian collars are so passé, the Edwardian look is now all the rage. 1.3243 0.06966 74 55 14 5
1895 Due to the vet's error, Bigglesworth, I can still lick my stitches AND run like the wind! 1.3243 0.06966 74 55 14 5
1896 So, are you in or out? 1.3243 0.06966 74 55 14 5
1897 My Libertarian owner says the decision to bite should be mine. 1.3243 0.06695 74 54 16 4
1898 Can you hear me better? 1.3243 0.06117 74 52 20 2
1899 If you think this is bad, I'll show you where he puts my collar 1.3243 0.06966 74 55 14 5
1900 That's not how you wear a mask 1.3243 0.06966 74 55 14 5
1901 Only problem with wearing the collar this way is the ladies assume you’re celibate 1.3243 0.06966 74 55 14 5
1902 I've abandoned my Elizabethan fashion vibe for something more Quaker. 1.3239 0.07170 71 53 13 5
1903 I had my neck done 1.3239 0.06585 71 51 17 3
1904 Apparently, if you bend it this way you get a better signal. 1.3239 0.06884 71 52 15 4
1905 You can get it online, under "reversibles." 1.3239 0.06884 71 52 15 4
1906 At least we can still scratch and sniff our butts. 1.3239 0.07445 71 54 11 6
1907 This one is for south of the equator." 1.3239 0.07170 71 53 13 5
1908 My top speed went up five miles per hour. 1.3239 0.06585 71 51 17 3
1909 According to DOGUE, it’s the latest trend. 1.3239 0.06585 71 51 17 3
1910 I flicked the vet a $20... 1.3238 0.05661 105 77 22 6
1911 No - It's a lampshade I tried to jump through. 1.3235 0.05772 102 75 21 6
1912 As if getting fixed wasn't humiliating enough. 1.3235 0.07087 68 50 14 4
1913 No . . . . I can't honestly say that I ever look back. 1.3235 0.06438 68 48 18 2
1914 You should see my owner's umbrella. 1.3235 0.06770 68 49 16 3
1915 High waisted pants are in the spring collection, too. 1.3235 0.06770 68 49 16 3
1916 I got dressed in the dark. 1.3235 0.05425 102 73 25 4
1917 It's just... It would be a shame if there was a squirrel behind you and you couldn't see it, is all I'm saying. You're good, bro. 1.3235 0.05425 102 73 25 4
1918 I'm religiously avoiding my genitals, and you? 1.3232 0.06230 99 75 16 8
1919 I needed help licking the licking habit. 1.3232 0.05712 99 72 22 5
1920 Sticking your head out the window has an inverse reaction. 1.3232 0.05621 99 74 19 6
1921 Oh, didn’t I see you in “The Handmaiden’s Tail? 1.3232 0.06062 99 74 18 7
1922 I couldn't stand my breath! 1.3231 0.07630 65 49 11 5
1923 My therapist has turned my whole life around! 1.3229 0.05638 96 69 23 4
1924 It’s fashion backward. 1.3229 0.06194 96 72 17 7
1925 They’ said it made my bark too loud. 1.3229 0.05829 96 70 21 5
1926 Oh, I don't have stitches – I humped a lamp. 1.3229 0.06538 96 74 13 9
1927 As RBG, I'm a lock for Best in Show. 1.3229 0.06369 96 73 15 8
1928 They gave me the sports model 1.3229 0.05638 96 69 23 4
1929 I don't really need it, but it's a good conversation piece. 1.3229 0.05638 96 69 23 4
1930 No, I think I’m greater than and you’re less than. 1.3229 0.06194 96 72 17 7
1931 I went for a ride in the car 1.3229 0.06014 96 71 19 6
1932 Oh, this old thing? 1.3226 0.06146 93 69 18 6
1933 You look foolish. 1.3226 0.06334 93 70 16 7
1934 Just stand in front of a fan. It worked for me. 1.3226 0.05953 93 68 20 5
1935 I like pushing the envelope. 1.3226 0.05753 93 67 22 4
1936 It stops me from putting my foot in my mouth. 1.3222 0.06085 90 66 19 5
1937 Ain't nobody going to tell me how to wear a cone! 1.3222 0.05876 90 65 21 4
1938 No! Yours is A lampshade! 1.3222 0.06085 90 66 19 5
1939 It's so much quieter.... 1.3222 0.05659 90 64 23 3
1940 My owner had the same problem with her Covid mask. 1.3222 0.06286 90 67 17 6
1941 It’s reversible but you have to find a narrow door and get a running start 1.3222 0.06085 90 66 19 5
1942 Oh Fido, you have last year's model! 1.3222 0.05876 90 65 21 4
1943 You have got to try one of their seminars. It completely turned my life around. 1.3222 0.06085 90 66 19 5
1944 It is really windy outside. 1.3222 0.06482 90 68 15 7
1945 I have a medical exemption! 1.3222 0.06482 90 68 15 7
1946 Man! What I would give for a bark amplifier like yours! 1.3222 0.05876 90 65 21 4
1947 You get a lot less sympathy, but the aerodynamics are amazing! 1.3222 0.06482 90 68 15 7
1948 Sure, that gives you better acoustics, but this way is more aerodynamic 1.3222 0.06482 90 68 15 7
1949 My owner is is an aerodynamicist 1.3222 0.06672 90 69 13 8
1950 This new model did great in the wind-tunnel! 1.3222 0.06286 90 67 17 6
1951 I just got a little crazy and put a lampshade on my head. 1.3218 0.06838 87 67 12 8
1952 Sure, less wind resistance, but I still can't lick my ass. 1.3218 0.06640 87 66 14 7
1953 Nope, I just destroyed a lamp. 1.3218 0.06640 87 66 14 7
1954 Don't be so glum. I can pretend you're Elizabeth and I'm Sir Walter Raleigh in these outfits. 1.3218 0.06640 87 66 14 7
1955 Does this cone make my neck look long? 1.3218 0.06224 87 64 18 5
1956 Yup, stuck my head out the window, and voila! 1.3218 0.05779 87 62 22 3
1957 You're wearing your lampshade wrong. 1.3218 0.06436 87 65 16 6
1958 I had to change. The cone was amplifying my barking and I nearly went deaf. 1.3218 0.06224 87 64 18 5
1959 You’re not fooling anybody with that cone over... 1.3218 0.05779 87 62 22 3
1960 Are you auditioning for Handmaid’s Tale too?” 1.3218 0.06436 87 65 16 6
1961 You got yours at the vet's. Mine came from a party. 1.3218 0.06224 87 64 18 5
1962 I'm forward thinking, my friend. Never look back. 1.3218 0.06224 87 64 18 5
1963 If you flip it this way you kind of look like a super hero. 1.3218 0.06640 87 66 14 7
1964 I did not recognize you from the side. 1.3218 0.06838 87 67 12 8
1965 You went to the vet. I went to the convent. 1.3218 0.06224 87 64 18 5
1966 My new girlfriend wanted mine reversed . 1.3218 0.06436 87 65 16 6
1967 I wear mine in honor of RBG. 1.3214 0.06595 84 63 15 6
1968 Still into the Handmaid's tale I see. 1.3214 0.06595 84 63 15 6
1969 I just said, "Give me something less Elizabethan, give me something Star Wars!" 1.3214 0.06144 84 61 19 4
1970 I wasn't going to just roll over and let them trample all over my personal freedom. 1.3214 0.06595 84 63 15 6
1971 Yeah, it's not surprising you didn't think about it, but you can totally ask for it to be put on this way instead. 1.3214 0.06144 84 61 19 4
1972 Wanna see it again? 1.3214 0.06595 84 63 15 6
1973 I've decided to put it behind me. 1.3214 0.05906 84 60 21 3
1974 Cone or funnel, were all the same underneath 1.3214 0.06595 84 63 15 6
1975 If it's any consolation, my owner is clueless. 1.3214 0.06144 84 61 19 4
1976 I had to make some adjustments...I wasn’t picking up HBO. 1.3214 0.05906 84 60 21 3
1977 I was climbing a lamp. How'd you get yours? 1.3214 0.06144 84 61 19 4
1978 You don't get the echo if you wear it like this. 1.3214 0.06595 84 63 15 6
1979 Collar - it's the new cone. 1.3214 0.06374 84 62 17 5
1980 I saw it on “Bridgerton.” 1.3214 0.06809 84 64 13 7
1981 It's a 'lifestyle collar,' not a cone. 1.3214 0.05658 84 59 23 2
1982 And it just hit me: I can be grounded AND aerodynamic! 1.3214 0.06144 84 61 19 4
1983 So basically you can run away from problems, you just have to run really fast 1.3211 0.05512 109 80 23 6
1984 It's purely an aerodynamic decision. 1.3210 0.06533 81 60 16 5
1985 It's the difference between a utility patent and a design patent. 1.3210 0.06292 81 59 18 4
1986 Oh sweetie, that is so last year’s look. 1.3210 0.06533 81 60 16 5
1987 It beats going through the doggie door backwards. 1.3210 0.06533 81 60 16 5
1988 You do you, Curt. 1.3210 0.06292 81 59 18 4
1989 Because your a female and I'm a male, that's why. 1.3210 0.06765 81 61 14 6
1990 Yeah, I’m still a little hungover too. 1.3210 0.06533 81 60 16 5
1991 I'm going through an Elizabethan phase. 1.3210 0.06989 81 62 12 7
1992 If your bark is worse than your bite, you wear it my way. If your bite is worse than your bark, you wear it your way. 1.3210 0.06042 81 58 20 3
1993 When I wear it this way, it hides my extra COVID weight. 1.3210 0.06765 81 61 14 6
1994 You have to know the right people. 1.3210 0.05507 81 56 24 1
1995 I signed up for a clinical trial, but they may have given me a placebo" 1.3210 0.06533 81 60 16 5
1996 Get with it Man, It is 2021. 1.3210 0.06533 81 60 16 5
1997 So, you run fast enough... 1.3210 0.06533 81 60 16 5
1998 I had my attorney call HR and they accommodated right away. 1.3210 0.06765 81 61 14 6
1999 This way it makes my neck look longer. 1.3210 0.06292 81 59 18 4
2000 I'm honoring Ruth Bader Ginsburg. 1.3210 0.06533 81 60 16 5
2001 I’m a Republican. I have no cone of shame. 1.3210 0.06989 81 62 12 7
2002 That was some party last night, huh? 1.3210 0.06533 81 60 16 5
2003 Undogmatic 1.3210 0.06533 81 60 16 5
2004 It's how they're wearing them in Paris. 1.3205 0.06187 78 56 19 3
2005 My human won't wear a mask either 1.3205 0.07183 78 60 11 7
2006 That's your problem-you're too focused on what's in front of you. 1.3205 0.07411 78 61 9 8
2007 I'm an obedience school dropout. 1.3205 0.05911 78 55 21 2
2008 I figured if I gotta wear this thing a long time I'm better off going aerodynamic. 1.3205 0.06947 78 59 13 6
2009 I still can’t reach it 1.3205 0.06703 78 58 15 5
2010 Nah... I just picked this up off a lamp in the bedroom. 1.3205 0.06947 78 59 13 6
2011 I’m living in a convent now. 1.3205 0.06703 78 58 15 5
2012 All the cool kids wear their caps backwards. 1.3205 0.06450 78 57 17 4
2013 My master is a priest. What the heck does yours do? 1.3205 0.06947 78 59 13 6
2014 That's how fast I can run. 1.3205 0.07183 78 60 11 7
2015 Shoulder wound. How about you? 1.3205 0.06703 78 58 15 5
2016 Wear it like you cone it! 1.3205 0.05911 78 55 21 2
2017 I’m the placebo dog. 1.3205 0.06450 78 57 17 4
2018 Oh, I don't know...it gives you a certain je ne c'est quoi. 1.3205 0.07183 78 60 11 7
2019 Yeah, I know, but my master's an aeronautical engineer. 1.3205 0.06450 78 57 17 4
2020 Dyslexic owners. You should see my leash. 1.3205 0.06703 78 58 15 5
2021 Which order do you belong to? 1.3205 0.06450 78 57 17 4
2022 Most dogs are less than. I am greater than. 1.3205 0.06450 78 57 17 4
2023 Yeah, but this way is much safer when you stick your head out the car window! 1.3205 0.05911 78 55 21 2
2024 Wait, what? 1.3205 0.05911 78 60 13 5
2025 I honestly feel faster 1.3205 0.06450 78 57 17 4
2026 Barked up the wrong tree?” “It was a lamp 1.3205 0.06450 78 57 17 4
2027 Yes, my master voted for Trump, why do you ask? 1.3200 0.07143 75 57 12 6
2028 I asked for sun. I see you asked for shade. 1.3200 0.05745 75 52 22 1
2029 Well, yes I am trans. How'd you know? 1.3200 0.06886 75 56 14 5
2030 Yours is an inny, mine is an outie. 1.3200 0.07143 75 57 12 6
2031 Chick’s dig it. 1.3200 0.07143 75 57 12 6
2032 I have had it with social distancing. 1.3200 0.07143 75 57 12 6
2033 Just don't look up if it starts to rain. 1.3200 0.06010 100 75 18 7
2034 So I told them, "Mange has a 99.97% survival rate! It's a free country; I can wear the cone however I damn please!" 1.3200 0.06620 75 55 16 4
2035 It's a retro look. 1.3200 0.06342 75 54 18 3
2036 “I’m going to have a neck like a giraffe, but toilet water has never tasted sweeter!" 1.3200 0.07143 75 57 12 6
2037 I see you're more of an introvert. Not me! I'm 100% extrovert 1.3200 0.06620 75 55 16 4
2038 You are doing it for the vet. I am doing it for myself. 1.3200 0.06342 75 54 18 3
2039 It's droolproof and aerodynamic. 1.3196 0.06311 97 74 15 8
2040 It's made by Tesla. 1.3196 0.06139 97 73 17 7
2041 This way, you can still reach ‘em. 1.3196 0.05961 97 72 19 6
2042 Don't laugh, my vet is dyslexic! 1.3196 0.05961 97 72 19 6
2043 Fortunately,my owner doesn’t follow directions! 1.3196 0.05778 97 71 21 5
2044 What’d you do? 1.3196 0.06139 97 73 17 7
2045 Doggy door 1.3194 0.06802 72 53 15 4
2046 It still covers my ears but I can see better. 1.3194 0.06802 72 53 15 4
2047 My owner doesn’t know whether I’m coming or going: 1.3194 0.06200 72 51 19 2
2048 It doesn't make a huge practical difference, but it looks a lot more dignified. 1.3194 0.06802 72 53 15 4
2049 I can still lick your balls... 1.3194 0.07355 72 55 11 6
2050 It's changed my entire perspective on the world. 1.3191 0.05498 94 67 24 3
2051 My owner finds directions difficult. 1.3191 0.06090 94 70 18 6
2052 Breast reduction. You? 1.3191 0.06455 94 72 14 8
2053 I still can't lick anything, but at least it lets me get a good sniff. 1.3191 0.06090 94 70 18 6
2054 I was drunk last night. What is your excuse? 1.3191 0.05899 94 69 20 5
2055 Do your research, Phil. Several YouTube videos suggest the ‘inverse cone’ provides superior protection. 1.3191 0.05899 94 69 20 5
2056 My vet wasn't cum laud . 1.3188 0.07297 69 52 12 5
2057 That was some party! 1.3187 0.05822 91 66 21 4
2058 You gotta learn to think outside the cone. 1.3187 0.06420 91 69 15 7
2059 No operation,this is my clerical collar 1.3187 0.05822 91 66 21 4
2060 I find it’s more aerodynamic. 1.3187 0.05608 91 65 23 3
2061 Does my cone make me look fat? 1.3187 0.06227 91 68 17 6
2062 Go ahead. I'm listening. 1.3187 0.06420 91 69 15 7
2063 The chafing on the front legs is excruciating, but the ladies love the look. 1.3187 0.06608 91 70 13 8
2064 Facemasks are so 2020 1.3187 0.05822 91 66 21 4
2065 It doesn't infringe on my rights when I wear it this way. 1.3187 0.05822 91 66 21 4
2066 Hey! You don’t have to bark so loud! 1.3187 0.06227 91 68 17 6
2067 ...and a way lower drag coefficient... 1.3187 0.06227 91 68 17 6
2068 ... what if we put our heads together? 1.3187 0.05386 91 64 25 2
2069 Look I’m a rocket 1.3187 0.06420 91 69 15 7
2070 The humans wear one too, but it goes over their nose. They look so much sillier. 1.3187 0.06967 91 72 9 10
2071 My human is an anti-masker. 1.3182 0.06373 88 66 16 6
2072 I made sure that she had a couple of glasses of wine before putting it on me. 1.3182 0.05949 88 64 20 4
2073 It's a matter of form over function 1.3182 0.06373 88 66 16 6
2074 I could scratch your nose if you would scratch my back. 1.3182 0.05949 88 64 20 4
2075 Sure, it's more comfortable. But when I try to rollover, I roll in circles. 1.3182 0.06373 88 66 16 6
2076 Just pop your head out the window while on the freeway...problem solved! 1.3182 0.06373 88 66 16 6
2077 Wait till you see what I can do with a leash! 1.3182 0.05949 88 64 20 4
2078 Yeah, but it's a lot more aerodynamic. 1.3182 0.06574 88 67 14 7
2079 I once ate through the bottom of my dish, too. 1.3182 0.06882 66 48 15 3
2080 We just got back from Paris. 1.3182 0.06882 66 48 15 3
2081 What do you mean my mask is on wrong! 1.3182 0.06770 88 68 12 8
2082 I'm woke now! 1.3182 0.05949 88 64 20 4
2083 Oh dude,this is so much easier,especially hanging out the window on a ride 1.3182 0.06373 88 66 16 6
2084 Do you think it goes the other way south of the equator? 1.3182 0.06373 88 66 16 6
2085 I’m going as Elizabeth I 1.3182 0.06770 88 68 12 8
2086 How do you wear your mask? 1.3182 0.06770 88 68 12 8
2087 Faster, Sleeker, Trend Setter 1.3182 0.06164 88 65 18 5
2088 You've got an itch that only I can scratch. 1.3178 0.05727 107 80 20 7
2089 You complete me. 1.3176 0.06528 85 64 15 6
2090 Let me guess, Jewish owner? 1.3176 0.06083 85 62 19 4
2091 One of us has it on backwards. 1.3176 0.06083 85 62 19 4
2092 It was easy. Just run into the wind and voila! 1.3176 0.06739 85 65 13 7
2093 We were made for each other. 1.3176 0.06083 85 62 19 4
2094 I got mine from the Handmaid’s tale. 1.3176 0.06083 85 62 19 4
2095 Your owners are idiots. 1.3176 0.06528 85 64 15 6
2096 You wonder how... See that hole in fence. Run at it full steam. 1.3176 0.06528 85 64 15 6
2097 Would you believe that’s not the first Flying Nun bit I’ve heard this week? 1.3176 0.06309 85 63 17 5
2098 No, really. It's a whole new perspective, it changed my life! 1.3176 0.06083 85 62 19 4
2099 I love outies. 1.3176 0.06083 85 62 19 4
2100 The government can’t take away my freedom!! It’s my right to wear my cone anyway I want. 1.3176 0.06944 85 66 11 8
2101 It shaved precious seconds off my walk. 1.3176 0.06528 85 64 15 6
2102 Sure, you get better reception, but I can still scratch my ears. 1.3176 0.06528 85 64 15 6
2103 Bummer Dude. 1.3176 0.05849 85 61 21 3
2104 Let me guess, your humans an anti-masker. 1.3176 0.06309 85 63 17 5
2105 You must be European. 1.3176 0.05849 85 61 21 3
2106 I still can't lick my junk but my peripheral vision is great. 1.3175 0.07781 63 48 10 5
2107 I know - you don't want to see where they put the muzzle. 1.3175 0.07093 63 46 14 3
2108 You’re living in an echo chamber, man. 1.3175 0.06722 63 45 16 2
2109 And in exchange, I poop where they prefer. 1.3173 0.05511 104 76 23 5
2110 Talking about a perfect fit, I thing we were definitely meant for each other. 1.3173 0.05840 104 78 19 7
2111 Love the lampshade look! 1.3173 0.05511 104 76 23 5
2112 Blindly obedient to the veterinary elite, I see. 1.3171 0.06693 82 62 14 6
2113 If you invert the cone of shame, it becomes the cone of glory. 1.3171 0.06693 82 62 14 6
2114 Ok forget it. Let's start from scratch. 1.3171 0.06227 82 60 18 4
2115 I had a colonoscopy: Why do you ask? 1.3171 0.06227 82 60 18 4
2116 I think you scratching my back if I lick your testicles is a little one-sided. 1.3171 0.06227 82 60 18 4
2117 Why are you shouting at me. 1.3171 0.06464 82 61 16 5
2118 Before he became a Vet used to be a pastor. It's hard for him to break old habits. 1.3171 0.05981 82 59 20 3
2119 Doug, I have reached enlightenment. 1.3171 0.06693 82 62 14 6
2120 We can't go on like this with such radically different perspectives. 1.3171 0.06227 82 60 18 4
2121 Mom likes me best. 1.3171 0.06227 82 60 18 4
2122 Mine was a reversal. 1.3171 0.06693 82 62 14 6
2123 My people get everything ass-backwards. 1.3171 0.06227 82 60 18 4
2124 I'll give you my Vet's name and number. 1.3171 0.06464 82 61 16 5
2125 Oh, yeah. You can learn just about anything on YouTube. 1.3171 0.06693 82 62 14 6
2126 Go ahead, Karen. Bite me. 1.3171 0.05981 82 59 20 3
2127 Either way, we're screwed. 1.3168 0.05617 101 74 22 5
2128 It really cuts down on the wind resistance... 1.3165 0.06871 79 60 13 6
2129 It's all the rage with French Bulldogs. 1.3165 0.06121 79 57 19 3
2130 My bark doesn't need attenuation 1.3165 0.06381 79 58 17 4
2131 No. They take me to a cartoonist. 1.3165 0.06871 79 60 13 6
2132 Don't worry about it. I'm vaccinated. 1.3165 0.06630 79 59 15 5
2133 Mine's more fashion than function. 1.3165 0.06381 79 58 17 4
2134 I find the reception much better this way. 1.3165 0.06381 79 58 17 4
2135 Let's play 'you 'scratch my back and I'll scratch yours'. 1.3165 0.06381 79 58 17 4
2136 I just stuck my head out the window on the highway 1.3165 0.04782 79 60 16 3
2137 They call it a collar, but I call it a ruff. 1.3165 0.06381 79 58 17 4
2138 And then the plastic surgeon asked do you want an innie or an outie. 1.3165 0.06121 79 57 19 3
2139 I was looking out the screen door into the back yard and then, SQUIRREL! 1.3165 0.06630 79 59 15 5
2140 I joined the clergy. 1.3165 0.06630 79 59 15 5
2141 See I told you. Business in the front, party in the back. 1.3165 0.06381 79 58 17 4
2142 My therapist is trying reverse psychology on me. 1.3165 0.06381 79 58 17 4
2143 My human isn't the brightest lamp in the room. 1.3163 0.05909 98 73 19 6
2144 The mirror confused me. 1.3163 0.06583 98 77 11 10
2145 Your place or mine? 1.3163 0.06085 98 74 17 7
2146 Actually it's a clerical collar. 1.3163 0.05909 98 73 19 6
2147 See? It's totally reversible. 1.3163 0.05909 98 73 19 6
2148 What are you in for? 1.3162 0.05100 117 85 27 5
2149 It's a Dog's Wife or Lampshades of Grey. 1.3158 0.07061 76 58 12 6
2150 Ears docked, hmmm. Me? Spade. 1.3158 0.05847 95 70 20 5
2151 How about that windstorm last night?" 1.3158 0.06546 76 56 16 4
2152 So you're saying, everyone just assumes I'm an asshole because my collar is turned up? 1.3158 0.05847 95 70 20 5
2153 It just seems more slimming this way. 1.3158 0.05986 76 54 20 2
2154 Do you think this makes me look thinner? 1.3158 0.06272 76 55 18 3
2155 This way is much better. The barking was driving me crazy. 1.3158 0.06272 76 55 18 3
2156 I got my head stuck in a lampshade... What's your excuse? 1.3158 0.07061 76 58 12 6
2157 Someone hasn’t been watching Queer Eye! 1.3158 0.06035 95 71 18 6
2158 After my recovery, I entered the clergy. 1.3158 0.06035 95 71 18 6
2159 I think my owner is collar blind. 1.3158 0.06546 76 56 16 4
2160 Lamp shade. 1.3158 0.07061 76 58 12 6
2161 Now there's no echo. echo. echo. 1.3158 0.06218 95 72 16 7
2162 We never read the directions. 1.3158 0.06546 76 56 16 4
2163 Now their harsh words just roll off my back! 1.3158 0.05685 76 53 22 1
2164 Have you always been an introvert? 1.3158 0.05685 76 55 19 2
2165 I know but this is their idea of getting us to isolate. 1.3158 0.06546 76 56 16 4
2166 No, you’re wearing it wrong, it goes over your nose. 1.3158 0.06808 76 57 14 5
2167 It’s a variant. 1.3158 0.05986 76 54 20 2
2168 Say again? 1.3158 0.06808 76 57 14 5
2169 How many bars do you get? 1.3152 0.06169 92 69 17 6
2170 It's the difference between being a fashion follower and a fashion influencer. 1.3152 0.06359 92 70 15 7
2171 So it's true....opposites attract. 1.3152 0.06169 92 69 17 6
2172 I didn’t have surgery. I just like the Puritan aesthetic. 1.3152 0.06169 92 69 17 6
2173 I still can't lick what I want to lick 1.3152 0.05972 92 68 19 5
2174 This should explain why my owners had so many kids. 1.3152 0.06359 92 70 15 7
2175 Nope! Not gonna do it. 1.3152 0.06169 92 69 17 6
2176 You just have to run really, really fast! 1.3152 0.06359 92 70 15 7
2177 It's really streamlined,I can run like the wind! 1.3152 0.05664 92 69 18 5
2178 There’s a fine line between the cone of shame and the cone of distinction. 1.3152 0.05972 92 68 19 5
2179 I think my owner has a learning disability? 1.3152 0.05558 92 66 23 3
2180 Why? What exactly were you supposed to stop licking? 1.3152 0.06169 92 69 17 6
2181 Smell a butt and then tell me, it’s not better this way 1.3152 0.06359 92 70 15 7
2182 No, YOU'RE wearing it all wrong. 1.3151 0.06433 73 53 17 3
2183 I know it’s on backwards, my human is dyslexic. 1.3151 0.07000 73 55 13 5
2184 I'm on probation. 1.3151 0.06433 73 53 17 3
2185 I didn’t know neutering could be reversed either! 1.3151 0.06433 73 53 17 3
2186 What do ya mean speak I'm talking too loud? I can barely hear YOU. 1.3151 0.06723 73 54 15 4
2187 Did I tell you I joined a fraternity in boarding school? 1.3151 0.06433 73 53 17 3
2188 I just can’t breath with it over my nose like that. 1.3151 0.07000 73 55 13 5
2189 All the purebreds are doing it 1.3151 0.07000 73 55 13 5
2190 Works for me. 1.3151 0.06130 73 52 19 2
2191 Who are you to judge? 1.3151 0.06723 73 54 15 4
2192 I like a more streamlined humiliation... 1.3151 0.06433 73 53 17 3
2193 Yes, I hear you loud and clear." 1.3151 0.07000 73 55 13 5
2194 this is ironic, really, considering I’m the introvert and you’re the extrovert 1.3151 0.06433 73 53 17 3
2195 I still can't lick anything important, but it's aerodynamic. 1.3151 0.06723 73 54 15 4
2196 I just got tired of the echo chamber. 1.3151 0.07000 73 55 13 5
2197 And now when the mail comes I go KRAB KRAB KRAB KRAB! 1.3151 0.06723 73 54 15 4
2198 I’ve learned so much on TikTok. 1.3148 0.05681 108 81 20 7
2199 No, really, on you it works. 1.3146 0.05892 89 65 20 4
2200 The vet said it was nothing to be ashamed of. 1.3146 0.06311 89 67 16 6
2201 Why do you always get everything backwards? 1.3146 0.06105 89 66 18 5
2202 You should have asked for the reversible model 1.3146 0.05892 89 65 20 4
2203 Humiliating either way, really. 1.3146 0.07074 89 71 8 10
2204 What can I say, it was a hell of a party 1.3146 0.06311 89 67 16 6
2205 Is your master one of those who wears his mask on his chin? 1.3146 0.06311 89 67 16 6
2206 This way I can still go through the doggy door. 1.3146 0.06311 89 67 16 6
2207 Let me fix your collar... 1.3146 0.06311 89 67 16 6
2208 This reduces drag and increases my average speed by two miles per hour. 1.3146 0.05892 89 65 20 4
2209 I’m torn between believing that they’re either modern trusting parents, or plain dumb” 1.3146 0.06311 89 67 16 6
2210 ... and because she's dyslexic. 1.3143 0.06607 70 51 16 3
2211 They call it the cone of self-actualization! 1.3143 0.06914 70 52 14 4
2212 Say 5 "hail mary's" and don't try to lick your butt. 1.3143 0.06914 70 52 14 4
2213 I talked them into making me look like a pilgrim. 1.3143 0.06119 70 52 15 3
2214 Cone of shame? Or cone of FAME? 1.3143 0.06607 70 51 16 3
2215 Windstorm. 1.3143 0.06914 70 52 14 4
2216 You say Handmaid's Tale. I say Flying Nun. 1.3143 0.05631 105 78 21 6
2217 Oh,those high collars went out decades ago! 1.3143 0.06914 70 52 14 4
2218 It’s all about knowing how to accessorize. 1.3143 0.06607 70 51 16 3
2219 It’s nothing to be ashamed of, but you’re wearing it backwards. 1.3143 0.06607 70 51 16 3
2220 Surgery? No, the kennel party got a little out of hand. 1.3140 0.06024 86 63 19 4
2221 That was some party last night. 1.3140 0.05792 86 62 21 3
2222 It feels better this way; you can still see where you're going. 1.3140 0.05792 86 62 21 3
2223 ...but your bark must be epic! 1.3140 0.06247 86 64 17 5
2224 But if your priority is aerodynamics... 1.3140 0.06024 86 63 19 4
2225 I'd explain the geometry, but it would kill the fun. 1.3140 0.06462 86 65 15 6
2226 I'm telling you! It will have THEM in stitches. 1.3140 0.06024 86 63 19 4
2227 So you're still going to that vet in Gilead? 1.3140 0.06024 86 63 19 4
2228 I know. But it tested better in a wind tunnel. 1.3140 0.06024 86 63 19 4
2229 You just wait until the car is on the freeway, and pop your head out the window. 1.3140 0.06670 86 66 13 7
2230 What can I say, I’m the life of the party. 1.3140 0.06462 86 65 15 6
2231 They were gale force winds. 1.3140 0.05551 86 61 23 2
2232 I'm from France 1.3140 0.06462 86 65 15 6
2233 I’m telling you Rex, I’ve really turned things around! 1.3140 0.06024 86 63 19 4
2234 Well it's just not how i interpret Margaret Atwood. 1.3140 0.06670 86 66 13 7
2235 It’s a TikTok thing. 1.3140 0.05909 86 65 16 5
2236 I've always been a fashion rebel. 1.3137 0.05393 102 74 24 4
2237 It’s simple, you’re an innie and I’m an outie 1.3137 0.06228 102 79 14 9
2238 My vet is very progressive. 1.3137 0.05393 102 74 24 4
2239 I've done my own internet research on the subject. 1.3137 0.05908 102 77 18 7
2240 Seriously. You watch. They are going to ruin this Kodak moment with a caption. 1.3134 0.06627 67 51 12 4
2241 My owner got this model at Ikea. 1.3134 0.07431 67 51 11 5
2242 Well, yes, I do remember the Coneheads from Saturday Night Live! 1.3133 0.06164 83 61 18 4
2243 It's all about changing your perspective. 1.3133 0.05920 83 60 20 3
2244 I don’t know about you but I fell for: “Let’s go get a cone.” 1.3133 0.06841 83 64 12 7
2245 Fashion Week is my life. 1.3133 0.05667 83 59 22 2
2246 Sooo... you're a female. 1.3133 0.06841 83 64 12 7
2247 Try reversing your cone, it could give you a new leash on life. 1.3133 0.06164 83 61 18 4
2248 My owner doesn't know sh_t. 1.3133 0.06623 83 63 14 6
2249 We can still Copulate, but Necking might be hard. 1.3133 0.06623 83 63 14 6
2250 What did you say? 1.3133 0.06623 83 63 14 6
2251 What can I say? My human's an anti-masker through and through. 1.3133 0.06841 83 64 12 7
2252 I guess your owner doesn't know too much about aerodynamics. That must be a real drag. 1.3133 0.06623 83 63 14 6
2253 I've been accused of backbiting. 1.3133 0.06164 83 61 18 4
2254 Well, you know ... in honor of RBG. 1.3133 0.06397 83 62 16 5
2255 I prefer the ecumenical version." 1.3133 0.06623 83 63 14 6
2256 They said to wear a collar, they didn’t say it had to cover your nose and mouth. 1.3133 0.06841 83 64 12 7
2257 Easy. You just face into the wind. 1.3133 0.06397 83 62 16 5
2258 So what do you think of my RBG collar? 1.3133 0.06623 83 63 14 6
2259 Mine's an idiot too, but a useful idiot. 1.3133 0.06397 83 62 16 5
2260 I don’t think either of us is wearing this Covid mask properly. 1.3133 0.06164 83 61 18 4
2261 Trust me, it makes you more aero-dognamic 1.3133 0.06397 83 62 16 5
2262 Trust me. Once you've seen what they've done, you'll want to keep wearing it too. 1.3133 0.06164 83 61 18 4
2263 I'm trying something new. Think they'll notice? 1.3133 0.06397 83 62 16 5
2264 The aerodynamics are much better this way. I’ve caught three squirrels so far. 1.3133 0.06397 83 62 16 5
2265 I don't think 'you scratch my back, I lick your testicles', is the expression. 1.3131 0.06200 99 76 15 8
2266 My vet believes in freedom not restriction. 1.3131 0.06031 99 75 17 7
2267 It's the cone of no shame — I'll sniff literally anything. 1.3131 0.05679 99 73 21 5
2268 Yeah, well I'll take my peripheral vision freedoms over the one percent chance that I'll remove my own stitches, any day. 1.3131 0.05858 99 74 19 6
2269 To the vet? No, my owner took me to IKEA! 1.3131 0.05495 99 72 23 4
2270 It's the latest style. All the French Poodles love it. 1.3125 0.06057 80 60 16 4
2271 I put it on myself. 1.3125 0.05602 96 70 22 4
2272 My human isn't great with gadgets. 1.3125 0.06337 96 74 14 8
2273 With this aerodynamic design I’ve cut seconds off chasing my tail 1.3125 0.06313 80 59 17 4
2274 Tell her to take you for a walk. Right now. It's windy. 1.3125 0.06313 80 59 17 4
2275 Riding home I stuck my head out the window once too often. 1.3125 0.06796 80 61 13 6
2276 Somebody didn't read the instructions. 1.3125 0.06559 80 60 15 5
2277 You should switch to my vet. He's afraid of growling. 1.3125 0.06337 96 74 14 8
2278 It's a rental. 1.3125 0.07025 80 62 11 7
2279 My therapist encouraged me to flip the problem. 1.3125 0.06796 80 61 13 6
2280 The trick is to get a really fast running start. 1.3125 0.05790 80 57 21 2
2281 You got a lampshade stuck on your head too? 1.3125 0.07247 80 63 9 8
2282 Want to change your world view? Flip the collar! 1.3125 0.05510 80 56 23 1
2283 Well, my vet upgraded my social status. Now I'm a white collar dog. 1.3125 0.06313 80 59 17 4
2284 Seriously, when you're hanging out the car window ... way better! 1.3125 0.07675 64 49 10 5
2285 You just have to look at it from the other side. 1.3125 0.05981 96 72 18 6
2286 I decided to get a second opinion. 1.3125 0.06796 80 61 13 6
2287 I had my vasectomy reversed. 1.3125 0.06313 80 59 17 4
2288 Once you heal up, you can wear it like this! 1.3125 0.06635 64 46 16 2
2289 He always does things a little backwards. 1.3125 0.06057 80 58 19 3
2290 I can still lick my butt but can’t scratch my ears. I consider it a good trade off 1.3125 0.05510 80 56 23 1
2291 You're wearing your lampshade backwards! 1.3125 0.06313 80 59 17 4
2292 I asked for something more slimming 1.3125 0.06559 80 60 15 5
2293 Dawg! You're wearing it backwards. It's supposed to be like a cape. 1.3125 0.06313 80 59 17 4
2294 Regardless, we’re both screwed” 1.3125 0.06559 80 60 15 5
2295 It’s all about empowerment 1.3125 0.06057 80 58 19 3
2296 Oh, come on. Live a little! 1.3125 0.06559 80 60 15 5
2297 I’ve gone casual since I’m 100% work from home. 1.3125 0.07462 80 64 7 9
2298 This is for good behavior 1.3125 0.05602 96 70 22 4
2299 I like the wind blown effect. 1.3125 0.05790 80 57 21 2
2300 Yes, the directions manual is from IKEA. 1.3125 0.05602 96 70 22 4
2301 If you think this is wrong, you should see how my human wears their mask. 1.3125 0.06796 80 61 13 6
2302 I see you have an outie! 1.3119 0.05636 109 82 20 7
2303 So good to be owned by a clueless klutz. 1.3118 0.06111 93 70 17 6
2304 yea i'm with first time dog owner 1.3118 0.05917 93 69 19 5
2305 This is how it's worn in Europe. 1.3118 0.05716 93 68 21 4
2306 Once my therapist helped me work through the shame everything turned around for me. 1.3118 0.06111 93 70 17 6
2307 This is actually a Lagerfeld collar. 1.3118 0.06300 93 71 15 7
2308 This is how the very good boys wear them. 1.3118 0.05917 93 69 19 5
2309 Seriously, don't even think about sticking your head out the car window like that. 1.3118 0.06300 93 71 15 7
2310 I studied physics Carl, an inverted cone is aerodynamically suited for ball chasing 1.3118 0.05917 93 69 19 5
2311 Mine cuts down on the wind drag. 1.3117 0.06203 77 56 18 3
2312 No, but I can lick YOUR nuts if you'd like? 1.3117 0.06981 77 59 12 6
2313 I recommend a good headwind. 1.3117 0.06473 77 57 16 4
2314 Just tell your owner it's backwards day! 1.3117 0.05921 77 55 20 2
2315 i don,t know whether i,m comming or going. 1.3117 0.06203 77 56 18 3
2316 I can hear you. There’s no need to shout. 1.3117 0.06473 77 57 16 4
2317 It all depends on whether you're an introvert or an extrovert. 1.3117 0.06203 77 56 18 3
2318 My ancestors came over on the Mayflower. 1.3117 0.06473 77 57 16 4
2319 It doesn't work as well but it looks better" 1.3117 0.06203 77 56 18 3
2320 Works just as well,except now I can run faster! 1.3117 0.06203 77 56 18 3
2321 I told them I had asthma. 1.3117 0.06981 77 59 12 6
2322 My cousin says this is the style in Europe. 1.3117 0.05921 77 55 20 2
2323 Are you a priest? 1.3117 0.06203 77 56 18 3
2324 Cone heads. 1.3117 0.06203 77 56 18 3
2325 You should try it, you'll see better 1.3117 0.06473 77 57 16 4
2326 I don’t think you’re doing that right 1.3117 0.05626 77 54 22 1
2327 You get better reception if you wear it this way! 1.3117 0.06203 77 56 18 3
2328 I think it makes me look thinner this way. 1.3117 0.06473 77 57 16 4
2329 Hey, rookie! How ya gonna get out the damn doggie door? 1.3111 0.06047 90 67 18 5
2330 Just run real fast through your doggie door. 1.3111 0.06250 90 68 16 6
2331 We’re fraternal, not identical. 1.3111 0.05837 90 66 20 4
2332 My vet believes in alternative therapy. 1.3111 0.06250 90 68 16 6
2333 One of us has it on wrong. 1.3111 0.06250 90 68 16 6
2334 Is my vet ADD or Dyslectic 1.3111 0.06047 90 67 18 5
2335 yes! It is reversible. 1.3111 0.06047 90 67 18 5
2336 Yeah, this makes it less of a shame and more of a fashion statement. 1.3111 0.05619 90 65 22 3
2337 You know that opposites attract,right? 1.3111 0.05837 90 66 20 4
2338 I don’t know, my vet came highly recommended. 1.3111 0.05837 90 66 20 4
2339 ‘Just because we disagree doesn’t mean we can’t still be friends.’ 1.3111 0.06250 90 68 16 6
2340 It makes us more stackable. 1.3111 0.06047 90 67 18 5
2341 The cat said, "Go out the pet door. You'll fit." 1.3108 0.06918 74 56 13 5
2342 Your’s keeps you out of the doghouse. Mine gets me in. 1.3108 0.06918 74 56 13 5
2343 So I told my man: “flip it around or I won’t be your best friend anymore. 1.3108 0.06645 74 55 15 4
2344 I was tired of mine too, until I discovered it was reversible. 1.3108 0.07180 74 57 11 6
2345 I thought they said it was reversible 1.3108 0.06918 74 56 13 5
2346 It’s the sport model- not as practical but way more fun. 1.3108 0.06645 74 55 15 4
2347 ...so I can’t lick it anymore! 1.3108 0.06360 74 54 17 3
2348 Yes, actually, I can lick it. But what are you going to do for me? 1.3107 0.05349 103 75 24 4
2349 It looks better this way on Zoom 1.3107 0.05694 103 77 20 6
2350 I thought the lamp was a squirrel. 1.3103 0.06185 87 65 17 5
2351 I'm entering the priesthood. 1.3103 0.05965 87 64 19 4
2352 I just thought ‘might as well make it the car ride of my life, aerodynamics-wise’. I mean, I may be short two tennis balls but I feel sleek as heck. 1.3103 0.06185 87 65 17 5
2353 I think I've proven which of us is the smarter breed. 1.3103 0.06802 87 68 11 8
2354 Yes, I do belong to Pilgrims. 1.3103 0.05736 87 63 21 3
2355 Good news, it's reversible. 1.3103 0.06996 87 69 9 9
2356 The vet. said there would be less drag when I run. 1.3103 0.06185 87 65 17 5
2357 You're Catholic, I'm Episcopalian. 1.3103 0.06603 87 67 13 7
2358 I got my peripheral vision back! 1.3103 0.05965 87 64 19 4
2359 No, I could write YOU a sonnet about your Easter bonnet. 1.3103 0.05736 87 63 21 3
2360 I have these contrary impulses from time to time. 1.3103 0.06397 87 66 15 6
2361 I asked if she had anything in the designer section. 1.3103 0.05736 87 63 21 3
2362 Don't be embarrassed. I'd be happy to lick that for you. 1.3103 0.05965 87 64 19 4
2363 I see you’re an outie! 1.3103 0.06603 87 67 13 7
2364 No really, I think you're pulling it off. 1.3103 0.06397 87 66 15 6
2365 Who's to say which is better? Some just are innies and some just are outies. 1.3103 0.05965 87 64 19 4
2366 Shocking, right? 1.3103 0.05965 87 64 19 4
2367 This is America and I have rights. 1.3103 0.06397 87 66 15 6
2368 Catholic. You? 1.3103 0.06185 87 65 17 5
2369 You have an outie. I have an innie. . 1.3103 0.05965 87 64 19 4
2370 I’m woke. 1.3103 0.05736 87 63 21 3
2371 My human is into alternative medicine 1.3103 0.05736 87 63 21 3
2372 Sister Carmella! Always the rebel. 1.3103 0.06185 87 65 17 5
2373 Is that what you’re wearing to the Vet Gala? 1.3100 0.06146 100 77 15 8
2374 Trust me, it's all over Tik Tok. 1.3100 0.05808 100 75 19 6
2375 I told them "this makes me look thinner". 1.3100 0.05808 100 75 19 6
2376 This is how the cool dogs wear them. 1.3100 0.05449 100 73 23 4
2377 Who's your stylist? 1.3100 0.05979 100 76 17 7
2378 I’ll scratch you if you’ll scratch me? Waddysay? 1.3100 0.05449 100 73 23 4
2379 How long are you in for? 1.3099 0.06529 71 52 16 3
2380 Yeah, I can't get decent reception either. 1.3099 0.06529 71 52 16 3
2381 Am I ashamed to be wearing a cone? What are you talking about? 1.3099 0.07118 71 54 12 5
2382 Mines just a lampshade from the party, whats yours for? 1.3099 0.06213 71 54 14 3
2383 Could I get you to scratch my ear, please? 1.3099 0.06213 71 51 18 2
2384 With the reduced drag coefficient, I can retrieve much faster. Plus, I can still lick myself. Win-win. 1.3095 0.06554 84 64 14 6
2385 My owner's a sailor. My owner's a priest. 1.3095 0.06554 84 64 14 6
2386 An open car window 1.3095 0.06770 84 65 12 7
2387 It's kind of an Elizabethan vs. Pilgrim thing. 1.3095 0.06101 84 62 18 4
2388 You thank that's bad? I just bombed an audition for the new RCA ad. 1.3095 0.06554 84 64 14 6
2389 My new owner is an interior decorator. Appearance is everything. 1.3095 0.05861 84 61 20 3
2390 I left the house in a hurry this morning. 1.3095 0.05611 84 60 22 2
2391 Luckily, my owner’s dyslexic. 1.3095 0.06978 84 66 10 8
2392 My name is Yin, what's yours? 1.3095 0.06770 84 65 12 7
2393 I said, 'fine, I'll wear it. But only as an accessory.' 1.3095 0.06332 84 63 16 5
2394 You should see the way he wears his mask! 1.3095 0.06332 84 63 16 5
2395 They put it on wrong, now I can lick wherever you need! 1.3095 0.06770 84 65 12 7
2396 I told my owner it’s how all the dogs are wearing it 1.3095 0.05861 84 61 20 3
2397 I find that this way it has less echo. 1.3095 0.06332 84 63 16 5
2398 Hindsight is twenty twenty. 1.3095 0.05861 84 61 20 3
2399 When do you get your 2nd shot? 1.3095 0.06332 84 63 16 5
2400 It’s called flipping the script. 1.3095 0.06332 84 63 16 5
2401 That's why they call me the "human whisperer." 1.3095 0.06332 84 63 16 5
2402 It’s really more of a fashion statement. 1.3095 0.06978 84 66 10 8
2403 You should try, it’s called downward dog! 1.3095 0.06554 84 64 14 6
2404 Yeah,I have Medicaid. 1.3095 0.06332 84 63 16 5
2405 What about my freedoms? Nobody’s gonna tell me how to wear this thing. 1.3095 0.06101 84 62 18 4
2406 This way my dignity and peripheral vision stay intact. 1.3095 0.06332 84 63 16 5
2407 I had a change of perspective. 1.3095 0.06101 84 62 18 4
2408 ...and then, within like 5 minutes, I got 3000 new followers! 1.3095 0.06101 84 62 18 4
2409 It’s reversible, you know. 1.3093 0.06280 97 75 14 8
2410 It’s post-Elisabethan. 1.3093 0.05554 97 71 22 4
2411 Nice Ruff. 1.3093 0.06106 97 74 16 7
2412 It's fashion before function at my house. 1.3093 0.06106 97 74 16 7
2413 I see you’re still wearing the old model. 1.3093 0.05554 97 71 22 4
2414 Just run as hard as you can through the cat door! 1.3088 0.07335 68 52 11 5
2415 I thought it was perfect for my Shakespeare audition. 1.3088 0.07629 68 53 9 6
2416 So,my vet was telling me about his dyslexia... 1.3088 0.06375 68 49 17 2
2417 It's a lampshade, the cat put vodka in my water dish. 1.3088 0.07335 68 52 11 5
2418 Just put your head out of the window inside the car wash. 1.3086 0.06246 81 60 17 4
2419 Don’t worry. I may look cooler, but it’s equally hard to lick myself. 1.3086 0.05994 81 59 19 3
2420 I find that my coefficient of drag is vastly superior 1.3086 0.06246 81 60 17 4
2421 Works like yours, but is way more aerodynamic. 1.3086 0.06489 81 61 15 5
2422 ...and mine was built to be aerodynamic! 1.3086 0.06489 81 61 15 5
2423 Montessori 1.3086 0.05994 81 59 19 3
2424 It doesn't help my neck, but I can still lick my favorite parts. 1.3086 0.05994 81 59 19 3
2425 My human seemed confused about his mask, too. 1.3086 0.05731 81 58 21 2
2426 The aerodynamics are so much better. 1.3086 0.06722 81 62 13 6
2427 Don’t ask. Don’t tell. 1.3086 0.06948 81 63 11 7
2428 What vet do you use? 1.3086 0.06246 81 60 17 4
2429 Prep school, eh? 1.3086 0.05455 81 57 23 1
2430 I told the doctor I’m claustrophobic. 1.3086 0.05994 81 59 19 3
2431 I’m disrupting the cone industry. 1.3086 0.05994 81 59 19 3
2432 So my owner saw this Tik Tok... 1.3086 0.05994 81 59 19 3
2433 ‘Cone half full kind of dog?’ 1.3086 0.05731 81 58 21 2
2434 ...it’s really more about you wearing the cone and less about the cone wearing you, am I right? 1.3086 0.05994 81 59 19 3
2435 It’s so much easier for butt sniffing 1.3086 0.05994 81 59 19 3
2436 it prevents itch and reduces drag! 1.3086 0.05994 81 59 19 3
2437 This way I get the Doppler effect when a car drives by. 1.3085 0.05665 94 69 21 4
2438 I kept hearing messages from Pluto. 1.3085 0.06055 94 71 17 6
2439 He said I am too beautiful a boy to hide my face like that. 1.3085 0.05459 94 68 23 3
2440 I can bark them into anything. 1.3085 0.05863 94 70 19 5
2441 I get to chew my stitches AND make an anti-cone statement 1.3085 0.06055 94 71 17 6
2442 I guess I'm an outie and you're an inie. 1.3085 0.05863 94 70 19 5
2443 Sure it makes me look fat. But it's comfortable. 1.3085 0.05665 94 69 21 4
2444 It's European. 1.3085 0.05665 94 69 21 4
2445 Could you please lower your voice? 1.3085 0.06241 94 72 15 7
2446 It's cooler if you wear it backwards. 1.3085 0.05863 94 70 19 5
2447 Obviously, you're not on TikTok. 1.3085 0.05863 94 70 19 5
2448 We both wear the same cone, my friend. The limitations are in your mind. 1.3085 0.06055 94 71 17 6
2449 I get 17 channels. You? 1.3085 0.06241 94 72 15 7
2450 Yeah, I know. My owner started drinking again. 1.3077 0.05859 78 56 20 2
2451 I'm with the resistance. 1.3077 0.06907 65 48 14 3
2452 I see you are an extrovert. 1.3077 0.05567 78 55 22 1
2453 They say that opposites attract. 1.3077 0.05782 91 67 20 4
2454 I'm seeing life more objectively now that I'm free of the echo chamber. 1.3077 0.06903 78 60 12 6
2455 I took my vows two years ago but am still awaiting to be assigned to a Parrish. 1.3077 0.05859 78 56 20 2
2456 My human hates caving to societal norms, but this time it was just too much weed. 1.3077 0.06190 91 69 16 6
2457 I got tired of the echo chamber. 1.3077 0.06657 78 59 14 5
2458 It must have been an awesome tailwind. 1.3077 0.06657 78 59 14 5
2459 No, yours is a cone, mine is an Elizabethan neck ruff. 1.3077 0.05343 91 65 24 2
2460 I am so fast now I am almost invisible 1.3077 0.06385 91 70 14 7
2461 In fact, I did get dressed in the dark this morning. 1.3077 0.05782 91 67 20 4
2462 You know how it works.... you scratch my back and I scratch your .... 1.3077 0.06190 91 69 16 6
2463 Spayed? No, just the opposite. 1.3077 0.06657 78 59 14 5
2464 The whole world is inside out. 1.3077 0.06903 78 60 12 6
2465 It was too echoey! 1.3077 0.07247 65 49 12 4
2466 Then one day, I just said to myself - just embrace it, and make it your own. 1.3077 0.05782 91 67 20 4
2467 I'm giving this look a try. 1.3077 0.06402 78 58 16 4
2468 It's a lampshade of shame! 1.3077 0.05859 78 56 20 2
2469 I still scratch, but at least I don’t get laughed at. 1.3077 0.05990 91 68 18 5
2470 Dumb Vet didn't know if I was coming or going. 1.3077 0.06190 91 69 16 6
2471 Guess who I ran into today. 1.3077 0.06657 78 59 14 5
2472 It depends on your interpretation of the Constitution as to what 'backwards' means 1.3077 0.06657 78 59 14 5
2473 It was just the next logical step once I was ordained. 1.3077 0.06136 78 57 18 3
2474 I was able to do this by executing the Downward Facing Dog pose in my yoga class. 1.3077 0.06402 78 58 16 4
2475 Ruff, ruff . . . ruff, ruff, ruff 1.3077 0.05782 91 67 20 4
2476 On Fridays we keep it casual. 1.3077 0.06657 78 59 14 5
2477 no, you’ve got it all backwards 1.3077 0.06385 91 70 14 7
2478 It’s a drool collar! 1.3077 0.06402 78 58 16 4
2479 I’m telling you, I have a whole new perspective! 1.3077 0.06136 78 57 18 3
2480 Sorry for your loss. Mine is actually for aerodynamics. 1.3077 0.06402 78 58 16 4
2481 Prada, Doug. You look good though. 1.3077 0.05859 78 56 20 2
2482 Peripheral is everything. 1.3077 0.06402 78 58 16 4
2483 Wait... "Dog eat dog" is just a saying? 1.3069 0.05217 101 73 25 3
2484 Well, mine is less for function and more for fashion. 1.3068 0.05907 88 65 19 4
2485 This way I hear the sounds of the city, not the sound of the ocean." 1.3068 0.06124 88 66 17 5
2486 It looks like I got the trainee vet. 1.3068 0.05682 88 64 21 3
2487 Do you have any idea how ridiculous you look? 1.3068 0.05907 88 65 19 4
2488 C'mon Jake, Ya gotta think Outside the Box 1.3068 0.05907 88 65 19 4
2489 I can't hear as well, but it looks kinda cool, doesn't it? 1.3068 0.05447 88 63 23 2
2490 Say 3 here boys and 2 good dogs and you are forgiven my son. 1.3068 0.06334 88 67 15 6
2491 Nah, I'M fine, but you should see the lightbulb! 1.3068 0.05907 88 65 19 4
2492 Go stand in front of a leaf blower! 1.3068 0.06334 88 67 15 6
2493 Do you feel emasculated, too? 1.3068 0.05682 88 64 21 3
2494 It's like this, Sparky. Having a halfwit owner has its perks. 1.3068 0.05907 88 65 19 4
2495 You just lay on your side...roll into a ball...tail between your legs...grab it in your mouth...jerk really hard...and wham! 1.3068 0.06124 88 66 17 5
2496 RUSTY! We rode home from the vet WITH THE TOP DOWN! 1.3068 0.06334 88 67 15 6
2497 I graduated from seminary last week. 1.3068 0.06124 88 66 17 5
2498 would you scratch something for me? 1.3068 0.06734 88 69 11 8
2499 My Doctor's a Contraveterinarian 1.3068 0.06334 88 67 15 6
2500 That collar really ages you in dog years 1.3067 0.06569 75 56 15 4
2501 Wait till you see what I've done with my food bowl! 1.3067 0.06569 75 56 15 4
2502 Yes, my vet is dyslexic. Why do you ask? 1.3067 0.07096 75 58 11 6
2503 Really it works both ways - my owner happens to be a nun. 1.3067 0.06288 75 55 17 3
2504 Well, you know there is a right way and a wrong way. Kind of like the toilet paper over/under thing... 1.3067 0.06837 75 57 13 5
2505 So, how was your bris? 1.3067 0.06288 75 55 17 3
2506 Next time they ask you.....say "convex - not concave" 1.3067 0.06569 75 56 15 4
2507 Still using last season’s cone? 1.3067 0.06569 75 56 15 4
2508 My insurance wouldn't cover that one. 1.3067 0.05687 75 53 21 1
2509 Yeah,it was on Shark Tank. 1.3067 0.06837 75 57 13 5
2510 This way you don't have to look up at the camera to hide your double chin. 1.3067 0.06569 75 56 15 4
2511 I’d strongly recommend switching to the newer model. It’s got a much larger field of view and is biodegradable. 1.3067 0.07096 75 58 11 6
2512 Too Handmaid's Tale for my taste. 1.3067 0.06569 75 56 15 4
2513 This quarantine has made me reimagine my wardrobe. 1.3067 0.06569 75 56 15 4
2514 Coney Island was great, but it sort of gave me tunnel vision. 1.3067 0.06288 75 55 17 3
2515 Upturned collars? Oh no, those are so last season. 1.3067 0.07346 75 59 9 7
2516 So...Are you extraverted introvert or introverted extravert? 1.3067 0.06569 75 56 15 4
2517 It was crazy windy outside. 1.3067 0.07096 75 58 11 6
2518 Innie meets outie 1.3065 0.07121 62 46 13 3
2519 I bite my nails. 1.3063 0.05548 111 84 20 7
2520 It worked for Madonna. 1.3061 0.05876 98 74 18 6
2521 If you wear it this way it helps with wind resistance. 1.3061 0.05506 98 72 22 4
2522 Hi, my name's Yin. What's yours? 1.3061 0.05506 98 72 22 4
2523 Let me guess...Yang? 1.3061 0.06052 98 75 16 7
2524 I don't feel like a lightbulb 1.3059 0.05803 85 62 20 3
2525 My human is an idiot. 1.3059 0.06487 85 65 14 6
2526 Nice subwoofer. 1.3059 0.06905 85 67 10 8
2527 I consider myself an Influencer..... 1.3059 0.06268 85 64 16 5
2528 I just told him "good master." 1.3059 0.06268 85 64 16 5
2529 I told my mom all the cool dogs wear their cone backwards. 1.3059 0.05557 85 61 22 2
2530 I'm no longer shamed by the cone. 1.3059 0.06040 85 63 18 4
2531 And you believed them?! 1.3059 0.06487 85 65 14 6
2532 If we keep wear these lampshades, they will think we are alrady nuetered 1.3059 0.06268 85 64 16 5
2533 Wait till you see what I’ve done with my leash! 1.3059 0.06268 85 64 16 5
2534 I'll itch yours if you itch mine. 1.3059 0.05803 85 62 20 3
2535 I know, I know...you warned me about the cheap knockoffs. 1.3059 0.05803 85 62 20 3
2536 The collar is reversible, comes in neutral colors, and can be monogrammed. 1.3059 0.06268 85 64 16 5
2537 My human fights oppression wherever she sees it. 1.3059 0.06040 85 63 18 4
2538 Looks like we were meant for each other. 1.3059 0.06487 85 65 14 6
2539 Who cares if mine is on backwards? The question is "who wore it better?" 1.3059 0.06268 85 64 16 5
2540 My master is anti-mask, too. 1.3059 0.06487 85 65 14 6
2541 It means I got my second shot! 1.3059 0.06487 85 65 14 6
2542 It's the aerodynamics. 1.3059 0.05557 85 61 22 2
2543 I’ll scratch, and you lick 1.3059 0.05557 85 61 22 2
2544 Well, it may help with your WiFi signal, but you look ridiculous. 1.3059 0.06487 85 65 14 6
2545 It’s roomier, but the acoustics aren’t nearly as good. 1.3059 0.06040 85 63 18 4
2546 The echo is gone! 1.3056 0.05814 72 51 20 1
2547 No, I'm from the nunnery. 1.3056 0.06748 72 54 14 4
2548 Stitches are fake news. 1.3056 0.06748 72 54 14 4
2549 It's given me a whole new perspective! 1.3056 0.06141 72 52 18 2
2550 I am only wearing it because I have to... I don't think they even work. 1.3056 0.06748 72 54 14 4
2551 It happened when I stuck my head out the window when my owner was going 90 MPH. It DOES make drinking water much easier... 1.3056 0.06452 72 53 16 3
2552 i’m a dominican, you must be a jesuit 1.3056 0.06748 72 54 14 4
2553 My vet has a concierge practice. 1.3056 0.06452 72 53 16 3
2554 You be the nun and I'll be the priest. 1.3056 0.07032 72 55 12 5
2555 White dog privilege 1.3056 0.05652 108 82 19 7
2556 Now, we shall kiss. 1.3056 0.05814 72 51 20 1
2557 You wouldn't get it - it's an inside joke. 1.3056 0.06748 72 54 14 4
2558 i find it slimming 1.3053 0.05411 95 69 23 3
2559 I'll lick your paws if you'll lick my butt. 1.3053 0.06000 95 72 17 6
2560 How did you know I was just out for a ride in the car? 1.3053 0.05200 95 68 25 2
2561 I still can't lick my stitches off, but now I feel like superdog. 1.3053 0.06184 95 73 15 7
2562 One word. Aerodynamics. 1.3053 0.05200 95 68 25 2
2563 Outies are better than Inies. 1.3053 0.05614 95 70 21 4
2564 I’m telling you Fido, THIS is the new black. 1.3053 0.05810 95 71 19 5
2565 I just got stuck in a lampshade. 1.3049 0.06420 82 62 15 5
2566 I used reverse psy-collar-gy. 1.3049 0.05673 82 59 21 2
2567 I'll chew on yours if you chew on mine. 1.3049 0.06420 82 62 15 5
2568 Mine was a snout lift. 1.3049 0.05673 82 59 21 2
2569 No, I haven't been fixed. I've joined the priesthood. 1.3049 0.06651 82 63 13 6
2570 The problem isn’t my licking, it’s my body wanting to be licked. 1.3049 0.05933 82 60 19 3
2571 I feel if we do kiss... we will never be apart. 1.3049 0.06420 82 62 15 5
2572 I'm not fixed, I'm fashionable 1.3049 0.06420 82 62 15 5
2573 I know your dad didn’t read the instructions 1.3049 0.06420 82 62 15 5
2574 I run faster this way. 1.3049 0.06420 82 62 15 5
2575 That's how the pups are wearing it these days. 1.3049 0.05673 82 59 21 2
2576 Yeah, I realized it’s much easier to eat pussy this way. 1.3049 0.06873 82 64 11 7
2577 Do you get better reception when your cone faces out like that? 1.3049 0.05933 82 60 19 3
2578 I used to think the glass was half empty too. 1.3049 0.06420 82 62 15 5
2579 It is just like wearing your mask below your nose. 1.3049 0.06420 82 62 15 5
2580 They wanted me to wear that way, but have you ever tried getting your head in the toilet with that thing on? 1.3049 0.07089 82 65 9 8
2581 My vet appears to be an introvert. 1.3049 0.06651 82 63 13 6
2582 It's so aerodynamic. I don't chase squirrels anymore, I lap them. 1.3049 0.05673 82 59 21 2
2583 The cone of trust 1.3049 0.06420 82 62 15 5
2584 CDC now recommends we double cone. 1.3049 0.06420 82 62 15 5
2585 Oh, look! You have an innie! 1.3049 0.06181 82 61 17 4
2586 It’s called leisurewear, Gus. 1.3049 0.05673 82 59 21 2
2587 I think they want me to lick myself. 1.3043 0.05950 69 49 19 1
2588 So I take it you’re also an anti-masker? 1.3043 0.05934 92 69 18 5
2589 Fashion before function, Carl. You look ridiculous. 1.3043 0.06942 69 52 13 4
2590 I’m an ‘outie' 1.3043 0.06627 69 51 15 3
2591 It keeps him from scratching me behind the ears; I always hated that. 1.3043 0.06942 69 52 13 4
2592 Just dive head first into the clothes washer while the door is open! 1.3043 0.05934 92 69 18 5
2593 I've had both my shots, so I no longer need to isolate. 1.3043 0.07242 69 53 11 5
2594 That look is so yesterday. And it must kill your ears when you bark. 1.3043 0.05729 92 68 20 4
2595 I've finally gotten it behind me. 1.3043 0.06132 92 70 16 6
2596 How's the reception in there? 1.3043 0.06298 69 50 17 2
2597 Still wearing last season's model? 1.3043 0.05517 92 67 22 3
2598 I told the vet I was horny. 1.3043 0.06627 69 51 15 3
2599 Tonsils. You? 1.3043 0.06942 69 52 13 4
2600 It's more aerodynamic, so you heal faster. 1.3043 0.05934 92 69 18 5
2601 It was a Kosher operation. 1.3043 0.06132 92 70 16 6
2602 That collar is so last year. 1.3043 0.05934 92 69 18 5
2603 Wait till they are going fast. Put your head out the window. Bam - you're free! 1.3043 0.06324 92 71 14 7
2604 They marketed it as "aerodynamic and fashionable." 1.3043 0.05296 92 66 24 2
2605 Same thing always happens to my umbrella. 1.3043 0.06298 69 50 17 2
2606 you must be a republican 1.3043 0.06942 69 52 13 4
2607 I accepted the limited nature of my existence and in this acceptance I was made free. 1.3043 0.06324 92 71 14 7
2608 Buster, is this the new variant? 1.3043 0.05729 92 68 20 4
2609 Let me guess... Tik Tok? 1.3043 0.07242 69 53 11 5
2610 The aerodynamics are noticeably better. 1.3039 0.05358 102 75 23 4
2611 Mine's Edwardian. 1.3039 0.05877 102 78 17 7
2612 It’s a new procedure 1.3039 0.05536 102 76 21 5
2613 Being a Seeing Eye dog has its perks. 1.3038 0.06826 79 61 12 6
2614 You need to shift the paradigm." 1.3038 0.06826 79 61 12 6
2615 My master turned it around because we’re running in the marathon this week. 1.3038 0.06584 79 60 14 5
2616 I shaved 15 seconds off my mile time wearing it like this. 1.3038 0.06826 79 61 12 6
2617 It’s a lamp shade. Things got crazy after our owner left for work. 1.3038 0.06332 79 59 16 4
2618 You just don't have the balls. 1.3038 0.06826 79 61 12 6
2619 My owners thought it was a bib. 1.3038 0.06332 79 59 16 4
2620 Seriously, at lean out the car window and the damn thing snaps back like this. 1.3038 0.06826 79 61 12 6
2621 It’s slimming. 1.3038 0.06584 79 60 14 5
2622 It's called 'retro' 1.3038 0.06332 79 59 16 4
2623 I got the more aerodynamic model. 1.3038 0.06584 79 60 14 5
2624 Thanks, but I'm not that clever, my master is dyslexic. 1.3038 0.06332 79 59 16 4
2625 You know, when you stick your head out the car window... 1.3038 0.05207 79 55 24 0
2626 Why don't we trade for the day? It will really confuse our owners. 1.3038 0.06584 79 60 14 5
2627 I need to ask you a really big favor. 1.3038 0.07059 79 62 10 7
2628 You got it wrong. It's Falstaff not The Handmaid's Tale. 1.3038 0.06332 79 59 16 4
2629 You bite my stitch, I'll bite yours. 1.3038 0.06584 79 60 14 5
2630 we can kiss, but no necking. 1.3038 0.06584 79 60 14 5
2631 I know right?? All this time! 1.3038 0.06584 79 60 14 5
2632 ‘Still can’t lick my butt, but the rest of life feels so much brighter’ 1.3038 0.07286 79 63 8 8
2633 It keeps my tail from getting into my eyes! 1.3038 0.05797 79 57 20 2
2634 My vet took my pain meds. 1.3038 0.06071 79 58 18 3
2635 You wouldn’t understand. It’s a Tesla design. 1.3038 0.06826 79 61 12 6
2636 The noise was getting to be too much 1.3038 0.06332 79 59 16 4
2637 I see you've been binging The Handmaid's Tale again. 1.3036 0.05927 112 88 14 10
2638 I’ll scratch your ear if you’ll lick my balls. 1.3034 0.06856 89 71 9 9
2639 you're a inny I'm a outty 1.3034 0.06667 89 70 11 8
2640 Yeah. My insurance only pays for the kind that faces backwards 1.3034 0.06065 89 67 17 5
2641 It gets better. 1.3034 0.05628 89 65 21 3
2642 I think we would make a good fit! 1.3034 0.06272 89 68 15 6
2643 Yeah,it happens every time I stick my head out of the car window. 1.3034 0.06272 89 68 15 6
2644 It's the cone of pride 1.3034 0.06472 89 69 13 7
2645 Hello! Can you hear me? I think you’re on mute 1.3034 0.05851 89 66 19 4
2646 It's really just a simple cone inversion problem, all the math teachers are doing it... 1.3034 0.06065 89 67 17 5
2647 The acoustics are much better this way. 1.3034 0.05628 89 65 21 3
2648 This could be mutually beneficial... 1.3034 0.06065 89 67 17 5
2649 I guess I didn’t read the latest CDC guidelines. 1.3034 0.05851 89 66 19 4
2650 We joined the Presbyterians. 1.3034 0.06065 89 67 17 5
2651 My people don't believe in shaming 1.3034 0.05851 89 66 19 4
2652 Mine's custom. 1.3034 0.06065 89 67 17 5
2653 I don't have an injury; I'm doing "Twelfth Night" down at the dog park. 1.3034 0.06065 89 67 17 5
2654 No surgery. My owner is an engineer, it cuts down wind resistance chasing squirrels. 1.3034 0.06065 89 67 17 5
2655 I see your folks read directions. 1.3034 0.06065 89 67 17 5
2656 'It's okay, they've got the vaccine now' 1.3034 0.06065 89 67 17 5
2657 So if I invert my cone, I escape the Baby-Boomer humor universe” 1.3034 0.05851 89 66 19 4
2658 Yo, it's the canine backwards baseball cap. 1.3030 0.05644 99 74 20 5
2659 Wearing it this way eliminates that pesky echo. 1.3030 0.06333 99 78 12 9
2660 Have you ever seen it this windy? 1.3030 0.07470 66 51 10 5
2661 No, you have to face *into* the wind. 1.3030 0.05824 99 75 18 6
2662 The new vetinarary intern seems nice. 1.3030 0.05824 99 75 18 6
2663 I appreciate your traditional approach,but, personally, I am going more for a Lady Gaga-esque vibe. 1.3030 0.07470 66 51 10 5
2664 I see you haven't heard about the new reverse therapy. 1.3030 0.05998 99 76 16 7
2665 My vet is dyslexic. 1.3028 0.05607 109 83 19 7
2666 You're so judgemental...it still works AND I can breathe! 1.3026 0.06218 76 56 17 3
2667 Not only is it reversible, the lamp still works. 1.3026 0.06759 76 58 13 5
2668 I look better than I sound. 1.3026 0.06759 76 58 13 5
2669 Nah, can't lick 'em either. 1.3026 0.06494 76 57 15 4
2670 Look on the flip side... 1.3026 0.06759 76 58 13 5
2671 I’m a woofer; you’re a tweeter. 1.3026 0.06218 76 56 17 3
2672 My problems are behind me" 1.3026 0.05626 76 54 21 1
2673 They’re sweet, but not very bright. 1.3026 0.06218 76 56 17 3
2674 It gives me the necessary speed to catch my tail. 1.3026 0.06494 76 57 15 4
2675 I was rescued by Dominican nuns. 1.3026 0.06759 76 58 13 5
2676 It's a Tesla. 1.3026 0.07014 76 59 11 6
2677 Well, comfort is key when barking from home. 1.3026 0.07014 76 59 11 6
2678 There's no injury. It cleans up my aerodynamic profile for chasing cars. 1.3026 0.06759 76 58 13 5
2679 My vet is from England. Why do you ask? 1.3026 0.05929 76 55 19 2
2680 That’s so two dog years ago. 1.3026 0.06218 76 56 17 3
2681 Only one of us is right 1.3026 0.05929 76 55 19 2
2682 This way, you can still sniff your own butt. 1.3023 0.06834 86 68 10 8
2683 Hey, you're an in-y and I'm an out-y. 1.3023 0.06421 86 66 14 6
2684 Which one of our owners can't read directions? 1.3023 0.05747 86 63 20 3
2685 How’s the reception? 1.3023 0.05503 86 62 22 2
2686 melborp eht ees tnod I 1.3023 0.06421 86 66 14 6
2687 It's surprising how easy it is to train my human to do whatever I want. 1.3023 0.06421 86 66 14 6
2688 It's a long story, but mine is actually a lampshade. 1.3023 0.06631 86 67 12 7
2689 Its really not that uncommon. Its called an "innie". 1.3023 0.05980 86 64 18 4
2690 They asked me if I was Catholic 1.3023 0.05980 86 64 18 4
2691 This way I can hear the ocean. 1.3023 0.06204 86 65 16 5
2692 I went for the aerodynamic model. 1.3023 0.05980 86 64 18 4
2693 Say five Hail Marys and two Our Fathers, resolve to not pee on the carpet and then who's a GOOD boy! 1.3023 0.06204 86 65 16 5
2694 Personally,I find the flipped-up collar too preppy a look. 1.3023 0.05980 86 64 18 4
2695 If you walk backwards, it looks like you have it on right. 1.3023 0.06204 86 65 16 5
2696 Really, Rex? That style is so last year! 1.3023 0.06631 86 67 12 7
2697 Did you hear that? 1.3023 0.05503 86 62 22 2
2698 Yeah we’re pretty much doing the opposite of what any doctor says these days. 1.3023 0.06421 86 66 14 6
2699 It’s my version of downward-facing dog. 1.3023 0.06421 86 66 14 6
2700 Turn that frown upside down! 1.3021 0.05758 96 72 19 5
2701 Enough with the megaphone! 1.3021 0.05946 96 73 17 6
2702 Not bowing to convention is the only thing that makes me feel alive these days. 1.3021 0.04938 96 68 27 1
2703 Yeah, well I checked Tiktok and Gen-z is saying this is the way to wear it now 1.3021 0.05565 96 71 21 4
2704 I'm not injured, I'm pretending to be a pilgrim. 1.3021 0.05946 96 73 17 6
2705 You still can’t lick your ass BUT you can eat without shame 1.3021 0.05364 96 70 23 3
2706 It keeps me from touching my face. 1.3019 0.05221 106 78 24 4
2707 Well,My owner suffers from Dyslexia 1.3016 0.08043 63 50 7 6
2708 Just run through the dog door. 1.3014 0.05912 73 55 15 3
2709 How did you turn on your megaphone setting?? 1.3014 0.06668 73 55 14 4
2710 Hindsight is 20/20. 1.3014 0.07216 73 57 10 6
2711 It's how they're wearing them at Westminster. 1.3014 0.06668 73 55 14 4
2712 Now I don't get so claustrophobic when I'm sniffing butts. 1.3014 0.06071 73 53 18 2
2713 Instagram vs Reality 1.3014 0.06668 73 55 14 4
2714 The best part is 'no echo' 1.3014 0.06668 73 55 14 4
2715 I just got the vaccine! 1.3014 0.06668 73 55 14 4
2716 Is it me, or is the whole world turned around? 1.3014 0.06668 73 55 14 4
2717 What!?! I can’t hear you! 1.3014 0.06948 73 56 12 5
2718 Rookie 1.3014 0.06668 73 55 14 4
2719 My doctor is a postmodernist 1.3014 0.06376 73 54 16 3
2720 Look, I’m a Handmaid’s Tail 1.3014 0.06948 73 56 12 5
2721 Honestly, this way is much more aerodynamic for when you stick your head out of the car window. Try it! 1.3014 0.06376 73 54 16 3
2722 It makes it easier to sniff your butt.. can I sniff your butt?! 1.3012 0.06800 83 65 11 7
2723 Well, look at chew! 1.3012 0.05209 83 61 20 2
2724 This way is more fetching! 1.3012 0.06353 83 63 15 5
2725 I’m all healed, but I love an accessory. 1.3012 0.06117 83 62 17 4
2726 If you scratch mine I'll scratch yours 1.3012 0.06800 83 65 11 7
2727 I see you're a fan of conservative media. 1.3012 0.06580 83 64 13 6
2728 I have no idea who NASA is,but they called 1.3012 0.05872 83 61 19 3
2729 Our company doesn’t have a strict dress code. 1.3012 0.06117 83 62 17 4
2730 Yes my son, of course I will hear your confession! 1.3012 0.06580 83 64 13 6
2731 My owner drives really fast. 1.3012 0.06353 83 63 15 5
2732 It's a Montessori thing. 1.3012 0.06353 83 63 15 5
2733 You have to run really fast. 1.3012 0.06353 83 63 15 5
2734 I read on Barker that cones are a hoax. 1.3012 0.05872 83 61 19 3
2735 My owner was totally baffled ; he still thinks Trump won. 1.3012 0.06353 83 63 15 5
2736 These days,we don’t know if we’re coming or going. 1.3012 0.06117 83 62 17 4
2737 Vet prescribed, but patriots don’t let fear of infection trump our rights to lick 1.3012 0.06117 83 62 17 4
2738 You wouldn’t believe the wind. 1.3012 0.06117 83 62 17 4
2739 You’re wearing it wrong. Dr. Fauci says it should cover your nose and mouth. 1.3012 0.06580 83 64 13 6
2740 It’s okay man, you can come out, 2020 is over. 1.3012 0.06117 83 62 17 4
2741 They wear it like this in France. 1.3012 0.05746 83 63 16 4
2742 it’s more aero dynamic during car rides 1.3012 0.05872 83 61 19 3
2743 My owner calls it lamp shade chic. 1.3011 0.06074 93 71 16 6
2744 There is lot less drag when chasing cars. 1.3011 0.05677 93 69 20 4
2745 I still can't bite my stitches, but at least it's more areodynamic. 1.3011 0.05677 93 69 20 4
2746 I think it's a sign we were meant for each other. 1.3011 0.05677 93 69 20 4
2747 It can also be worn as a skirt. 1.3011 0.05021 93 66 26 1
2748 Call me a clown if you want, but I can still chew your tail for a biscuit. 1.3011 0.05467 93 68 22 3
2749 ‘Do you really think it’s about keeping you safe? Wake up!’ 1.3011 0.06448 93 73 12 8
2750 Fixed but make it fashion. 1.3000 0.05575 90 66 21 3
2751 This means that they un-fixed me right?” 1.3000 0.06006 80 59 18 3
2752 Lots of dogs are into popping their collars, but I prefer a more casual look. 1.3000 0.06222 70 51 17 2
2753 Thanks for the heads up. Mirrors baffle me. 1.3000 0.06007 90 68 17 5
2754 I’m trying reverse psychology 1.3000 0.05737 80 58 20 2
2755 Because I could. 1.3000 0.06264 80 60 16 4
2756 I feel it helps preserve the dignity of forced castration 1.3000 0.07151 70 54 11 5
2757 I’m notorious D-O-G. 1.3000 0.06211 90 69 15 6
2758 This way, I can't scratch but I can still sniff. 1.3000 0.06512 80 61 14 5
2759 No, YOU'RE wearing it backwards! 1.3000 0.06211 90 69 15 6
2760 No, I think you're the one who has it on backwards. 1.3000 0.06006 80 59 18 3
2761 If you walk backwards, no one notices. 1.3000 0.06981 80 63 10 7
2762 Easy on the eyes, aerodynamic, and doesn’t get in the way of proper introductions if you know what I’m saying. 1.3000 0.06512 80 61 14 5
2763 It's the new starched white collier look of the 1900s. All the dogs will be wearing it. 1.3000 0.06006 80 59 18 3
2764 I got the lead in "The Crucible!" 1.3000 0.05946 100 77 16 7
2765 OMG. You’re such a goody-goody. 1.3000 0.06007 90 68 17 5
2766 My owner's Ignorance is my Bliss. 1.3000 0.06006 80 59 18 3
2767 I kept barking at the gramaphone. 1.3000 0.06264 80 60 16 4
2768 How's your reception? 1.3000 0.06007 90 68 17 5
2769 That headwind's a killer. 1.3000 0.06512 80 61 14 5
2770 ...And then all of a sudden a huge gust came and blew all my troubles away! 1.3000 0.06007 90 68 17 5
2771 My mobility suffers but my peripheral vision is back! 1.3000 0.06007 90 68 17 5
2772 Which sect are you? 1.3000 0.05347 90 65 23 2
2773 Agreed—no more throwing shade. 1.3000 0.06751 80 62 12 6
2774 I didn’t know you were celibate. 1.3000 0.06006 80 59 18 3
2775 My Vet might be dyslexic.....At least I can see the furniture I run into. 1.3000 0.07435 70 55 9 6
2776 I came out. 1.3000 0.06547 70 52 15 3
2777 Now I see what they mean by an "innie" and an "outie" 1.3000 0.06856 70 53 13 4
2778 . . . and I told him it was way too windy for a walk. 1.3000 0.06601 90 71 11 8
2779 Be smarter than me, bark to go out; don't try using the dog door! 1.3000 0.06409 90 70 13 7
2780 Believe me, I wish I had blinders on around this family. 1.3000 0.06006 80 59 18 3
2781 I’d say in your case it’s best to back through the dog door. 1.3000 0.06856 70 53 13 4
2782 Does this make my neck look fat? 1.3000 0.05575 90 66 21 3
2783 Yeah, yeah, yeah. Show me the data these things actually protect us! 1.3000 0.06512 80 61 14 5
2784 Now I can run faster than you can!" 1.3000 0.06856 70 53 13 4
2785 You should see the new table he tried to put together! 1.3000 0.05737 80 58 20 2
2786 Once you put your head out the car window, you'll never look back. 1.3000 0.05575 90 66 21 3
2787 Oh look, another denier! 1.3000 0.06512 80 61 14 5
2788 We're a perfect match 1.3000 0.06512 80 61 14 5
2789 And somehow she still got pregnant 1.3000 0.06211 90 69 15 6
2790 Wtf Jerry 1.3000 0.06409 90 70 13 7
2791 I bet your humans wear their masks below their noses. 1.3000 0.06264 80 60 16 4
2792 Linda, it's fashion week! Put in a little bit of effort! 1.3000 0.07435 70 55 9 6
2793 I keep telling you man, acid really opens your eyes to the world 1.3000 0.06512 80 61 14 5
2794 I'm a glass half full kind of dog 1.3000 0.06006 80 59 18 3
2795 I know the Centers for Doggy Control (CDC) said to wear it over my face, but I find it limits my face-licking and crotch sniffing capabilities that way. 1.3000 0.06512 80 61 14 5
2796 You scratch mine, I'll scratch yours. 1.2991 0.05667 107 82 18 7
2797 Yeah! Absolutely! I had my second shot! 1.2990 0.05892 97 74 17 6
2798 what can I say My Vet likes to smoke the hooch 1.2990 0.06246 97 76 13 8
2799 My vet is a big believer in alternative medicine. 1.2989 0.06143 87 66 16 5
2800 You look like a handmaid. I look like a superhero. 1.2989 0.06143 87 66 16 5