Contest #739


Cartoon

739

The winning captions

These captions are chosen by The New Yorker.

  1. “Once tax season is over, you can go back to being the only child.”
  2. “When you’re best in show, you can have nice clothes, too.”
  3. “He said you ate his homework.”


Name Value
Submission deadline 2021-01-10T17:40:00.000Z
Voting started -
Voting ended 2021-01-24T17:54:00.000Z
Finalists announced 2021-01-18T17:53:00.000Z
Magazine(s) announcing finalists issued January 25, 2020
Number of captions 6956
Number of responses 949488
Number of participants -


Dashboard

In this table, the "mean" means the empirically measured average funniness score when the "unfunny", "somewhat funny" and "funny" receive a funniness score of 1, 2, 3 respectively. "Precison" is the standard error of the mean, the standard deviation of the mean estimate. With that, a caption with an empirical mean μ and precision σ has true mean in the range [μ - 2σ, μ + 2σ] with 95% probability by the 68-95-99.7 rule assuming the responses are indepedent and identically distributed.

Rank Caption Mean Precision Total votes "Unfunny" votes "Somewhat funny" votes "Funny" votes
0 Of course we wanted a son. But we also wanted unconditional love. 2.1456 0.00662 13477 3146 5223 5108
1 When you've mastered "sit" and "stay" you'll be a Good Boy too 2.0726 0.00977 5949 1490 2537 1922
2 Let's think of a better word to call his mommy. 2.0122 0.00720 13318 4521 4113 4684
3 He may be my best friend, but you will always be the reason mom and I got married. 2.0011 0.00751 11803 3919 3952 3932
4 "You don't need a suit -- you're only seven. He's forty-nine." 1.9848 0.00940 6821 2106 2713 2002
5 He gets dessert because he ate everything on your plate. 1.9844 0.01250 3979 1268 1505 1206
6 Of course you're not a rescue...who would say that to you? 1.9432 0.00789 10246 3578 3672 2996
7 You said you wanted a baby brother... You said you wanted a puppy... Win-win! 1.9394 0.00824 9024 3053 3465 2506
8 Once tax season is over, you can go back to being the only child. 1.9255 0.00776 10597 3806 3774 3017
9 Student of the Year is fine, son, but it isn't Best in Show. 1.9253 0.00804 9880 3549 3520 2811
10 He said you ate his homework. 1.9172 0.00798 10170 3751 3510 2909
11 We’ll miss you Bobby, but the dog is allergic 1.8928 0.00942 7837 3190 2297 2350
12 But it's Andy's turn today and Andy wants to go to the dog park. 1.8841 0.00922 6676 2327 2796 1553
13 He said you bit him first. 1.8607 0.01323 3366 1258 1319 789
14 Because he identifies as a boy and that’s that 1.8543 0.01070 5566 2239 1899 1428
15 Grandma left all her money to little Winston, so we have to be really, really nice to him. 1.8530 0.01063 5395 2099 1990 1306
16 But look how well obedience school worked for him! 1.8524 0.00947 6545 2475 2561 1509
17 He gets to wear his pants backwards because that's where his tail is. 1.8470 0.00969 6841 2801 2286 1754
18 You're a good boy too, Jack 1.8445 0.00896 6720 2416 2933 1371
19 No, you are the little bastard. He is a son of a bitch. 1.8335 0.01022 6668 2970 1838 1860
20 It's only until we board the plane. 1.8238 0.01107 4808 1914 1827 1067
21 Maybe you could use your next wish to change your sister back before Mommy gets home? 1.8070 0.01176 4688 2059 1475 1154
22 Don't be mad. You do kind of look like a fire hydrant. 1.8040 0.01109 5438 2457 1590 1391
23 The joke’s on him, son. He thinks we’re taking him to get tutored. 1.7982 0.01234 4218 1865 1339 1014
24 He's the chick magnet. You want a new mom, don't you? 1.7460 0.01190 4248 1953 1421 874
25 We don't love you any less, it's just that he is already housebroken, has graduated from obedience school, doesn't bite strangers, and comes when called. 1.7449 0.01031 5555 2530 1912 1113
26 Who's a good boy? 1.7367 0.00946 6824 3217 2187 1420
27 He's British - those ARE his play clothes! 1.7176 0.01328 3283 1545 1120 618
28 Okay, who wants to go for a walk? 1.7142 0.00958 6826 3392 1993 1441
29 He's your brother now, and an extra $600 in stimulus money 1.7117 0.01294 3354 1565 1191 598
30 Of course you'll have fun at obedience school. Look what it did for your brother! 1.7091 0.00995 5844 2789 1966 1089
31 I told you if I homeschooled you, Buddy would be teacher's pet. 1.7020 0.01054 5875 3055 1516 1304
32 Your brother identifies as a dog. 1.6936 0.01254 3864 1947 1154 763
33 Trust Me Son, You have Different Mothers. 1.6924 0.01814 1726 837 583 306
34 Well, yes, technically, he is the teacher's pet. 1.6881 0.01241 3710 1834 1205 670
35 It’s ok. I still like you more than the cat. 1.6795 0.01377 2970 1464 994 512
36 Your teacher called. Did you tell her your brother ate your homework again? 1.6789 0.01247 3616 1783 1211 622
37 The sign says dogs must wear a collar. 1.6767 0.01657 2029 999 687 343
38 Don’t worry; what happened to your brother is purely a coincidence. The vaccine is completely safe. 1.6697 0.01583 2543 1369 645 529
39 It's my hand or the leash. Your choice. 1.6693 0.01492 2525 1265 830 430
40 Daddy was asking a rhetorical question, honey. You’re both good boys. 1.6680 0.01301 3325 1670 1089 566
41 I know you have to go, but I only brought one plastic bag. 1.6676 0.01568 2389 1230 723 436
42 And if you’d practiced like I asked you to, we’d be going to YOUR recital. 1.6657 0.01553 2369 1205 751 413
43 Jimmy felt the rage build as his father explained the double standard for why only one of them was a "good boy" for pooping in the yard. 1.6647 0.01750 2019 1076 544 399
44 Don't be jealous, Timmy. If you win a dog show, I'll buy you a suit too. 1.6562 0.01385 2821 1415 961 445
45 We adopted you because he asked for a boy to play with. 1.6546 0.01737 1879 969 590 320
46 It’s not that I love you less, but that he loves me more. 1.6543 0.01561 2300 1179 737 384
47 Sorry, I had a hangover and got confused. I got Fido dressed for school and you got the worm medicine. 1.6529 0.02231 1210 647 336 227
48 "But it doesn't even fit you anymore!" 1.6497 0.01488 2495 1279 811 405
49 You don't have to sniff his. 1.6481 0.01651 2214 1194 605 415
50 Rex self-identifies as a human now, so he says he won't be fetching your ball anymore. 1.6423 0.01638 2091 1094 651 346
51 It's only till we get the $2,000 check. 1.6390 0.03882 374 197 115 62
52 I picked him. You were an accident. 1.6373 0.02416 965 510 295 160
53 I’m sorry, but in dog years he’s technically the older brother. 1.6359 0.01704 1766 891 627 248
54 Well yes, technically he is a son of a bitch, but we don't use that language!" 1.6353 0.01683 1969 1039 609 321
55 He says he'd rather you fetch it. 1.6314 0.01868 1609 857 488 264
56 But you said you'd rather have a puppy than a brother or sister. 1.6176 0.02536 774 397 276 101
57 So, Billy, what tricks can you do? 1.6158 0.01860 1434 737 511 186
58 Max, he’s your age and he acts 7 times older. 1.6149 0.01862 1462 760 505 197
59 I’m sorry, but we only saved enough to send one of you to boarding school. 1.6141 0.01867 1459 761 500 198
60 You see, Johnny, it’s $600 per child. This is your brother now. 1.6115 0.01970 1403 760 428 215
61 We have decided to send Spot to college and you to obedience school 1.6098 0.01999 1366 743 413 210
62 Of course I like him more. He’s potty trained. 1.6066 0.02052 1304 715 387 202
63 I was just kidding. You don’t have to sniff his butt. Just be nice. 1.6065 0.02033 1329 729 394 206
64 You don't have to dress like him. He's a show dog. 1.6064 0.03369 437 228 153 56
65 I want to poop outside too! 1.6056 0.03099 573 315 169 89
66 Don't be silly. Dogs don't wear shoes. 1.6036 0.02524 840 457 259 124
67 He promises not to use his nose during the next game of hide and seek. 1.5998 0.02075 1157 612 396 149
68 If it makes you feel better, you're adopted too. 1.5998 0.02197 1132 626 333 173
69 Look at it this way, you get all the chocolate. 1.5991 0.02149 1100 588 365 147
70 Your school shut down again so I need you to be a very good boy at doggy daycare today. 1.5951 0.02276 1067 598 303 166
71 He's right. It's your turn to fetch. 1.5933 0.02196 1045 562 346 137
72 Because Daddy needs to stay in Grandma's will, tbat's wby. 1.5930 0.02195 1064 577 343 144
73 come on son; you grew out of it, and now it fits him !!!! 1.5917 0.03905 338 184 108 46
74 Mommy and I wanted to give you a baby brother. You said you’d rather have a puppy. I think this a reasonable compromise. 1.5909 0.02219 1034 561 335 138
75 I know you miss your other friends but he is he only one who has gotten his shots. 1.5902 0.02328 959 526 300 133
76 Did you ever think he might be embarrassed to be seen with you? 1.5902 0.02448 854 465 274 115
77 Now, c'mon Dennis -- you got the opposable thumbs... 1.5900 0.02196 1056 574 341 141
78 You’ll have the same privileges as soon as you’re house trained. 1.5899 0.02273 1012 557 313 142
79 When you finish obedience school, I'll buy you a new outfit too. 1.5890 0.02199 1034 558 343 133
80 Now say you’re sorry and lick each other’s faces 1.5887 0.03367 423 224 149 50
81 Of course, you're a good boy, too. 1.5872 0.02288 969 528 313 128
82 Your mother and I believed having you would prepare us for a dog. 1.5855 0.02445 936 536 252 148
83 We rescued him from a prep school . 1.5848 0.02406 920 515 272 133
84 You call him “brother,” not, “rescue-brother.” 1.5824 0.02310 934 509 306 119
85 Mr. Buttons promises he won't sniff you there again. 1.5811 0.02404 962 553 259 150
86 We can't all have tails. Remember, you have thumbs. 1.5786 0.02854 636 355 194 87
87 Your brother says he didn't eat your homework. 1.5783 0.02442 894 506 259 129
88 He's a rescue. From the Upper East Side. 1.5783 0.02534 811 454 245 112
89 When your Instagram gets 1 million followers then we will take pictures of you, but for now we work for Nigel because it pays the bills. 1.5766 0.02544 822 466 238 118
90 Look at it this way. You wanted a little brother. You wanted a puppy. Be happy, now you have both. 1.5657 0.02442 799 439 268 92
91 Second-best friend is nothing to be ashamed of, son. 1.5656 0.02550 778 439 238 101
92 It's an extra $600 per child and that's why he's your brother now. 1.5634 0.02584 765 435 229 101
93 Now, you behave or we'll remove your testicles too. 1.5623 0.02906 722 447 144 131
94 Now sniff and make up. 1.5623 0.02666 706 399 217 90
95 It's not you, son. He just has better breeding. 1.5620 0.02701 694 394 210 90
96 When you're best in show, you can have nice clothes too. 1.5615 0.02669 748 435 206 107
97 You were an accident, Rufus was a choice. 1.5592 0.02760 667 381 199 87
98 C'mon, sniff his butt and say you're sorry. 1.5589 0.02775 721 429 181 111
99 I’m sorry, Tommy, but we could only afford private school for one of you, and Rover’s test scores were better. 1.5583 0.02797 695 410 182 103
100 Once you’’re housebroken you can have a treat too. 1.5554 0.02622 695 389 226 80
101 Hey little buddy. You are special - you get to poop inside 1.5554 0.02703 686 392 207 87
102 Because he is the grandson of a national champion and you are the grandson of an insurance salesman. 1.5552 0.02678 670 376 216 78
103 Young man, what did I say about dressing up Sparky in your uniform and putting him on the school bus?! 1.5540 0.03046 565 330 157 78
104 It’s like I’ve always told you, Timmy, dress for the job you want. Ralph gets it. 1.5493 0.02852 619 358 182 79
105 His chosen pronoun is dog. 1.5477 0.02853 619 359 181 79
106 Now I know he dresses better than you son, but then he has to go out more often 1.5461 0.02905 575 329 178 68
107 Jackson, Amos is part of the family now, and we’re going to love him just like we love you. Only more. 1.5450 0.02906 622 369 167 86
108 This is the closest thing to a normal childhood I can arrange for you right now. 1.5433 0.02835 600 344 186 70
109 Another reason Franklin is special is because he doesn’t wet his bed. 1.5425 0.02908 588 342 173 73
110 ‘I miss your mom too but she shouldn’t have asked me to choose.’ 1.5419 0.03034 561 332 154 75
111 Sorry, this is as close to a playdate as I could arrange. 1.5411 0.02863 584 335 182 67
112 Yes, you do have to be a big boy; you're both 3 but your brother behaves like he's 21. 1.5406 0.02864 603 351 178 74
113 Well someone got an A in obedience school. 1.5396 0.03733 328 185 109 34
114 You're a good boy too Jimmy, it's just that Buster is a really really good boy. 1.5389 0.02944 540 308 173 59
115 That’s what you’re wearing to the dog park? 1.5381 0.03017 578 347 151 80
116 You are a good boy. He's just a better boy. 1.5376 0.03035 532 310 158 64
117 Son, you’re acting like a child. 1.5369 0.03036 529 308 158 63
118 I told you he was a working breed when we rescued him 1.5359 0.02902 571 331 174 66
119 ...He said he smells it on you, so let me ask again.... 1.5357 0.03498 392 227 120 45
120 You said you wanted a puppy and a little brother. This way you get both! 1.5327 0.03138 490 286 147 57
121 Rusty now identifies as an English school boy and wants to be called Oliver. 1.5321 0.03292 483 292 125 66
122 Oh, stop whining Donald. After all, it's not everyday you see a trained dog get elected as Class President. 1.5301 0.03060 532 316 150 66
123 Come on now Timmy, the rescue group said you were good with small dogs, we don’t want to have to take you back. 1.5296 0.03141 506 301 142 63
124 Once we get the extra stimulus check,I promise he goes back to being a dog. 1.5294 0.03171 510 307 136 67
125 Well guess what, Timmy- you’re adopted too 1.5281 0.03303 481 293 122 66
126 We can afford private school only for one of you and Bobo simply has more promise 1.5260 0.03082 519 309 147 63
127 Rover's trained to sit, speak, and not put me in a nursing home. 1.5258 0.03164 485 287 141 57
128 Your brother said he's sorry for eating your homework. Now you apologize for copying his. 1.5254 0.03300 453 270 128 55
129 Rover says you ate his homework. 1.5247 0.03198 507 309 130 68
130 When you're older you'll understand why I can't let you pee on the sidewalk, too 1.5247 0.03036 507 296 156 55
131 The dog said you ate his homework. 1.5239 0.03320 460 278 123 59
132 Look: He's learned "heel," "sit," and "fetch" already, and you just keep saying "No!" and "Why?" 1.5236 0.03288 466 281 126 59
133 Well, your mom wanted a kid, I wanted a dog, and the dog wanted an MBA. 1.5226 0.03321 465 283 121 61
134 You're also a good boy. 1.5223 0.03212 494 300 130 64
135 Of course he acts grown up!..in dog years, he's 35... 1.5214 0.03000 491 282 162 47
136 I'm not playing favorites but, he is my best friend. 1.5197 0.03064 483 281 153 49
137 Obedience school, Billy. Don't knock it 'til you've tried it. 1.5191 0.03187 472 281 137 54
138 He’s a canine-American, not a mutt. 1.5189 0.04224 264 156 79 29
139 But sweetie you refused to wear it when Grandma sent it to you.” 1.5187 0.03626 374 225 104 45
140 It not about who I love more, it’s about fooling the surveillance cameras in the carpool lane. 1.5185 0.03357 432 259 122 51
141 Meet your new Covid free playmate. 1.5167 0.03527 420 260 103 57
142 It doesn't even fit you anymore! 1.5161 0.03198 467 279 135 53
143 Fair's fair. We went out for human food last weekend. 1.5158 0.03305 444 267 125 52
144 You said you wanted a puppy...and a baby brother. Now you've got both! 1.5145 0.03293 414 242 131 41
145 Hey, he'll never be the tax deduction you are! 1.5143 0.05428 175 108 44 23
146 I asked you to wear the suit and you said no. 1.5142 0.03130 457 267 145 45
147 You chose pizza last time, so this time it's Sparky's turn and he wants kibble. 1.5133 0.03409 415 250 117 48
148 But just think what a great college entrance essay you'll be able to write. 1.5128 0.03249 431 254 133 44
149 Until this is over, he's your playdate 1.5106 0.03249 425 250 133 42
150 Billy, we’ve already explained this...you were the mistake, he was a choice 1.5103 0.03404 435 268 112 55
151 You're my son, and he's my best friend. 1.5101 0.03499 398 242 109 47
152 Who's my second-best boy? 1.5100 0.03803 351 217 89 45
153 Fetch is not in his vocabulary. Try summons. 1.5091 0.03544 383 232 107 44
154 I've explained this to you before, pal. He goes to an exclusive doggy daycare. You go to a public school. 1.5091 0.03146 438 255 143 40
155 Play nice with him, he doesn’t know he’s adopted. 1.5082 0.03277 429 256 128 45
156 You’re going to love obedience school. 1.5070 0.03398 428 263 113 52
157 Please be a big boy and give him back his shoes. 1.5066 0.03412 379 223 120 36
158 Come on now. Who’s a good boy? 1.5066 0.03432 379 224 118 37
159 Well, maybe you could show more enthusiasm when I come home. 1.5061 0.03723 330 197 99 34
160 Didn't you ask Santa, for a brother and a dog?! 1.5059 0.03390 421 257 115 49
161 'Well, well. Looks like someone ELSE is ready for obedience school.' 1.5052 0.03315 388 226 128 34
162 You already outgrew that outfit and it looks so cute on him! 1.5050 0.03377 400 239 120 41
163 Listen, you can eat his home-work if you want. 1.5047 0.03306 424 255 124 45
164 . “Come on Billy let’s be supportive. Rover’s transitioning.” 1.5037 0.03437 405 247 112 46
165 Just tell your friends we're a blended family. 1.5013 0.03350 379 222 124 33
166 You’re both adopted. 1.5000 0.03571 398 250 97 51
167 It’s time to leave the White House Donald.Would you like to have this dog? He’s very loyal. 1.5000 0.05501 172 109 40 23
168 His mother is technically a bitch but you’re still grounded for saying that 1.5000 0.03693 398 257 83 58
169 Come on, lighten up. When you’re fourteen, he’ll be ninety-eight! 1.4986 0.03617 367 226 99 42
170 Look on the bright side, Tommy. Only one of you got spayed. 1.4985 0.03747 333 203 94 36
171 He can go back to school because he's already vaccinated. 1.4968 0.04049 308 194 75 39
172 What’d you expect, he’s a working dog. 1.4965 0.04058 282 172 80 30
173 It was a little small for you and they had a no-return policy 1.4962 0.03458 393 241 109 43
174 We have to accept that your brother has become a Republican! 1.4960 0.03717 375 239 86 50
175 When it's your birthday, it'll be your turn to ride with your head out the window. 1.4955 0.03691 337 205 97 35
176 I promise never to mix up your brown bag lunches again. 1.4947 0.03506 380 233 106 41
177 We can’t afford to keep you both and frankly, he’s easier to train 1.4928 0.03666 349 215 96 38
178 He learned to stand...can you learn to sit and stay? 1.4922 0.03685 319 191 99 29
179 He did your homework before he ate it. 1.4922 0.03738 319 193 95 31
180 Use your words. Speak, Billy, speak! 1.4919 0.03581 372 231 99 42
181 Did you two know that your moms both have something in common? 1.4909 0.03886 328 207 81 40
182 For the last time, Timmy, Rover’s going to prep school. You’re going to obedience school.” 1.4906 0.03708 371 237 86 48
183 Be a good boy and fetch your brother his briefcase. 1.4894 0.03853 329 207 83 39
184 Apologize for calling your sister a bitch. 1.4891 0.03665 366 231 91 44
185 Well, I asked him, “WHO’S A GOOD BOY? WHO’S A GOOD BOY?” He sat up and wagged his tail, so apparently he is. 1.4890 0.03547 362 222 103 37
186 Well, let's just wait until we hear back from AncestryDNA. 1.4886 0.03725 350 220 89 41
187 Rover says it is his turn to throw the ball and you chase it, 1.4877 0.03526 365 224 104 37
188 C'mon kiddo...it doesn't fit you anymore. 1.4875 0.03554 361 222 102 37
189 Ha, that's rich! Like we can afford to send two kids private school! 1.4859 0.03943 319 203 77 39
190 Timmy! It’s bad enough to pee on the floor! But to blame your brother?! 1.4859 0.03918 319 202 79 38
191 This time we’re boarding YOU and taking Randolph on vacation. 1.4853 0.03783 340 215 85 40
192 Yes, he started it, but then you didn't have to drink from his water bowl! 1.4846 0.03517 357 218 105 34
193 Here’s the deal. You fetch the paper, you get a suit. 1.4845 0.04118 258 157 77 24
194 When you sit on command, you'll get a treat too 1.4843 0.03716 351 222 88 41
195 You fetch the bone. Maurice has his violin lesson. 1.4842 0.03776 349 223 83 43
196 If he were my favorite would I make him wear short pants and a Peter Pan collar? 1.4841 0.03542 347 211 104 32
197 We’ll go to the park after Fenimore’s recital. 1.4841 0.03674 345 215 93 37
198 Relax; all the statistics say you start being smarter than him in another year! 1.4838 0.03833 308 190 87 31
199 Relax, he thinks he’s being ‘tutored’. 1.4835 0.05093 182 114 48 20
200 You'd be famous too if you could walk without using two of your legs. 1.4830 0.03704 323 198 94 31
201 More than just eating your homework, he can actually do your homework! 1.4829 0.04167 263 163 73 27
202 Don't tell your sister she's adopted. 1.4827 0.03734 346 219 87 40
203 ...and who’s my SECOND best friend! 1.4825 0.03922 342 224 71 47
204 We just can’t afford private school for both of you 1.4825 0.03811 342 219 81 42
205 I know he still does it Timmy but that's not what people do when they meet a new person for the first time. 1.4824 0.03828 340 218 80 42
206 Always dress for the job you want, Billy. 1.4822 0.03768 309 189 91 29
207 Those are the only two choices: a working dog or a show dog. He's made his choice, now you make yours. 1.4814 0.03685 322 197 95 30
208 This is your new Lab partner 1.4812 0.03786 345 221 82 42
209 When you graduate from obedience school, you'll get a new outfit too. 1.4811 0.04014 318 209 66 43
210 ‘When they ask about your ‘brother’ for the stimulus check, what do you say?’ 1.4809 0.03797 341 218 82 41
211 No, you WERE older. He's technically 7 now." 1.4809 0.03779 314 194 89 31
212 Oh look, it’s a little boy. Should we take him home? 1.4807 0.03737 337 212 88 37
213 I don’t care what it says in the dictionary, your sister is not a bitch, Charlie. 1.4807 0.03807 337 215 82 40
214 Don't be silly. I also love you like a son 1.4805 0.03941 308 195 78 35
215 ...he’ll never leave home AND he won’t require the cost of a college education. Think about it. 1.4805 0.03598 333 203 100 30
216 This will be fun, now go get your collar and leash. 1.4790 0.03878 309 194 82 33
217 It's Take your Dog to Work Day today, but it will be your turn next month! 1.4789 0.03580 332 202 101 29
218 When you wear the clothes Gram sends, you get more treats. Simple as that. 1.4773 0.03804 308 191 87 30
219 I don’t know why you’re upset, you said you wouldn’t wear the suit. 1.4773 0.03832 308 192 85 31
220 Five minutes out of the crate and we're already having a tantrum? 1.4771 0.03869 327 210 78 39
221 Why didn’t you go when your brother went? 1.4771 0.03796 327 207 84 36
222 Nonsense, Billy! We love you both the same. 1.4771 0.03695 327 203 92 32
223 Now your turn Timmie. Be a good boy and fetch daddy a beer. 1.4769 0.03763 325 204 87 34
224 You asked for a dog and a little brother... 1.4769 0.03939 281 173 82 26
225 Lighten up, Jasper will play with you later today after he finishes jury duty. 1.4767 0.04987 193 123 48 22
226 I finally got you a COVID playdate. 1.4766 0.03719 321 199 91 31
227 It's just for Take Your Dog To Work Day. 1.4760 0.03924 292 182 81 29
228 C’mon, he’ll be great on the frisbee team. 1.4759 0.03777 332 211 84 37
229 Buck up Tommy! You're a cute kid, but he's a pedigree. 1.4756 0.03785 307 190 88 29
230 He may be my be my best friend, but you’ll always be my son. 1.4755 0.03547 326 197 103 26
231 If he could learn to do it standing up, so can you 1.4744 0.03914 293 183 81 29
232 C'mon - you can be a good boy too! 1.4742 0.03921 310 198 77 35
233 Don't be jealous, you're both adopted. 1.4738 0.03737 325 204 88 33
234 Ah, c’mon, you wanna pee on hydrants, he wants to eat at the table. I’m not seeing a lot of differences here... 1.4732 0.03959 317 206 72 39
235 If Sparky can learn how to walk on two legs, you can learn how to use the potty. 1.4732 0.03857 317 202 80 35
236 Come on Tommy, where did you hide his cell phone? 1.4725 0.04908 182 113 52 17
237 It's not that we love him more, it's just that he's housebroken. 1.4721 0.04064 269 168 75 26
238 Cmon, he’ll give it back to you after his bark mitzvah. 1.4716 0.04486 229 145 60 24
239 If you return his ball, he'll return your clothes. 1.4714 0.03948 280 174 80 26
240 Remember, you've got thumbs. 1.4712 0.03774 295 181 89 25
241 He claims that he did not eat your homework 1.4708 0.03716 291 176 93 22
242 Use your words, speak. 1.4701 0.03970 268 165 80 23
243 Don't be upset Billy, just be glad your mother doesn't make you wear ridiculous outfits and poop in the street. 1.4698 0.03952 315 205 72 38
244 Shake? 1.4698 0.03742 315 197 88 30
245 It worked out for Stuart Little and it will work out for us too. 1.4698 0.03687 315 195 92 28
246 It may be true, but it is still not nice to call his mother a bitch. 1.4691 0.05339 162 103 42 17
247 This is your brother from another mother. 1.4691 0.04097 275 175 71 29
248 Sit. 1.4689 0.03995 305 198 71 36
249 But a picture of you in that suit wouldn’t get half as many likes on instagram. 1.4682 0.03908 267 163 83 21
250 How could we know he would learn so much by watching your virtual classes? 1.4676 0.04116 293 192 65 36
251 And who else is daddy's good boy! 1.4673 0.03618 306 186 97 23
252 Because she's Ruth Beagle Ginsburg, that's why. 1.4664 0.03893 298 189 79 30
253 You need to understand. I always call him a good boy. 1.4664 0.03922 298 190 77 31
254 Let's face it, you didn't even use that suit. 1.4664 0.04036 298 194 69 35
255 His name IS Buster and he IS brown. 1.4664 0.03969 268 166 79 23
256 Now son, he’s only wearing your clothes for a while so daddy can mark him as a dependent. 1.4655 0.03998 275 173 76 26
257 Because he’s older than you. 1.4653 0.04347 245 157 62 26
258 You’re just mad because we named him Steve and you Fido. 1.4644 0.03922 295 188 77 30
259 Your mother and I want you to grow up bilingual. 1.4644 0.03862 295 186 81 28
260 Of course we wouldn't replace you with a beagle; a border collie, maybe. 1.4644 0.03802 295 184 85 26
261 Well if you listened the way he does, maybe you would get more treats and go to the park too! 1.4644 0.03832 295 185 83 27
262 Sure, he gets to sleep on our bed, but you get to keep your balls. 1.4642 0.04143 293 194 62 37
263 For the last time, you're BOTH good boys. 1.4631 0.03804 298 187 84 27
264 Well you can be man's best friend's best friend. 1.4631 0.03863 298 189 80 29
265 Trust me, you don't want to be "fixed" too. 1.4631 0.04063 298 196 66 36
266 At least he comes when I call. 1.4626 0.03804 281 173 86 22
267 You're my son. He's my best friend. 1.4626 0.04018 294 191 70 33
268 Shake...Shake...Goood boy. 1.4626 0.03901 294 187 78 29
269 See Jimmy, even Cocoa knows you need to dress up to visit Grandma. 1.4621 0.03657 290 176 94 20
270 Son, I didn’t write the rules. He gets treats, you get positive parenting strategies. 1.4621 0.03879 290 183 80 27
271 Today is your brother’s turn to choose lunch, so raccoon carcass it is. 1.4618 0.04478 262 177 49 36
272 It doesn’t matter if you were born first. He’s your older brother by 48 years. 1.4608 0.03695 293 180 91 22
273 Stop complaining. You always hated that outfit. 1.4605 0.03959 291 187 74 30
274 Hey come on, it didn’t fit you anymore anyway. 1.4605 0.03869 291 184 80 27
275 The difference is he has papers. 1.4601 0.04179 276 181 63 32
276 Yes, Billy, we're taking you to the pound. We drew straws, remember? 1.4595 0.04348 259 171 57 31
277 Actually, he rescued us. 1.4593 0.04598 209 133 56 20
278 Can you give Charlie's bottom a nice sniff hello? 1.4593 0.04376 270 182 52 36
279 Yes, you are a good boy. He's just better. 1.4593 0.04215 270 177 62 31
280 Okay, okay, I'll bag your poop too...will that make it fair? 1.4593 0.04248 270 178 60 32
281 We have to act like he's your brother so we can claim him for an extra $600 1.4593 0.04199 270 184 51 35
282 Hey, it was working until Grandma found her glasses. 1.4591 0.03836 281 175 83 23
283 Well, we had him before we had you. 1.4577 0.04160 260 167 67 26
284 Guess who got into that exclusive K-4. 1.4577 0.03667 260 174 61 25
285 Of course, you'll get a suit, once you're potty trained too. 1.4574 0.03924 282 179 77 26
286 Ok, now change your brother back. 1.4568 0.04093 278 181 67 30
287 Yes, I know it's not fair that he gets to pee wherever he wants 1.4568 0.04061 278 180 69 29
288 Look, let's just say if I did have a favorite it wouldn't be the one who's throwing a tantrum. 1.4565 0.04017 276 177 72 27
289 I promise you, son, Fred's vaccine 'side-effect' is a one-off. 1.4558 0.04039 283 184 69 30
290 Come on Tommy, you know that deep inside you want to be a good boy too. 1.4556 0.03944 270 170 77 23
291 He gets nicer clothes because he's already potty trained. 1.4556 0.04115 270 175 67 28
292 I promise we'll play catch right after your little brother's violin recital. 1.4549 0.04158 244 154 69 21
293 I know you really loved Spot from the pound but Ignatius has been bred to get you into the most prestigious preschools. 1.4549 0.04071 277 180 68 29
294 He’s your brother from another mother 1.4545 0.03819 286 180 82 24
295 It was an honest election. You lost. Accepting that this happens is part of growing up. 1.4545 0.04421 242 159 56 27
296 I don’t care what you think you saw, Johnny. Dogs don’t play poker. 1.4545 0.04078 264 169 70 25
297 It’s not personal, son. We can only afford prep school for one of you, and St. Bernard’s is cheaper. 1.4542 0.04028 284 185 69 30
298 Show him a ball and he’ll totally forget about the dress code. 1.4542 0.03947 273 173 76 24
299 And when the pandemic is over you can play with human kids again. 1.4542 0.03947 273 173 76 24
300 We don’t ALWAYS go to the dog park. 1.4539 0.03791 271 167 85 19
301 Billy,you chase the ball. We don‘t want Fido to get dirty. 1.4538 0.04229 260 170 62 28
302 You just have to call Taco “Theodore” until we get off the plane, Son. 1.4535 0.04035 258 163 73 22
303 Well, opposable thumbs, and I'm sure there are other things, if you'll just give me a minute. 1.4518 0.05095 166 106 45 15
304 No, I didn't cheat on your mom. He's adopted! 1.4518 0.04362 228 146 61 21
305 Next time you can pee on the hydrant. 1.4516 0.04188 248 159 66 23
306 I could only afford to send one of you to school, and he seemed more excited about it. 1.4511 0.04019 266 170 72 24
307 Well, you don't expect him to run around naked, do you? 1.4511 0.04054 266 171 70 25
308 You wanted a dog for Christmas and your mom wants another kid, it's a win-win. 1.4508 0.03969 264 167 75 22
309 He has 13k Instagram followers. How many do you have? 1.4508 0.03932 264 166 77 21
310 He saw you in the window! 1.4506 0.04463 233 153 55 25
311 Listen, you wanted him. Now that lockdown is over he is going to school with you. 1.4502 0.04151 251 161 67 23
312 I know you wanted a baby brother but you've got to admit he's kinda cute. 1.4500 0.05852 140 93 31 16
313 You may be my son, but he’s my best friend. 1.4500 0.03808 280 176 82 22
314 See, Reggie doesn't mind wearing the preschool uniform. 1.4498 0.03987 269 177 65 27
315 I think we're sending the wrong family member to obedience school. 1.4496 0.04107 258 166 68 24
316 I was talking about HIS mother...not yours. 1.4496 0.04216 258 169 62 27
317 Don’t make me get your leash. 1.4496 0.04180 258 168 64 26
318 Who's a barely tolerable boy? Yes, you are! 1.4494 0.04180 267 176 62 29
319 He's going to prep school, you're going to obedience school. 1.4494 0.03915 247 152 79 16
320 You'll get your suit too once you graduate from obedience school 1.4491 0.03921 265 166 77 21
321 O.K. so you're not identical twins 1.4486 0.04288 243 158 61 24
322 "C'mon, sport. It's his week to pick, and you know how much he loves the Dutch masters exhibit." 1.4483 0.04073 261 168 69 24
323 Remember, he thinks you think he’s a dog. 1.4480 0.04084 250 159 70 21
324 Cheer up. Every dog has his day. 1.4479 0.04058 259 166 70 23
325 I promise you'll be in the next family photograph. 1.4479 0.04058 259 166 70 23
326 We don’t love Spot more, we just like him more. 1.4479 0.03946 259 163 76 20
327 He's just dressing for the job he wants. 1.4472 0.04288 246 161 60 25
328 “It’s not my fault your aunt wanted him to be Ring-Bearer.” 1.4472 0.04210 246 159 64 23
329 You heard the vet - we needed a dog that's better suited than you. Or was it better suited for you...? 1.4471 0.04937 170 108 48 14
330 What? You wanted a little brother and you wanted a puppy! 1.4470 0.04074 264 171 68 25
331 When you learn to be obedient, you can go to Catholic School too! 1.4470 0.04144 264 173 64 27
332 Son, it’s 2020, are you even surprised by this? 1.4463 0.04456 242 162 52 28
333 Look. Grandma's a bit confused. But if you're nice maybe she'll pay for your college, too. 1.4462 0.04225 251 164 62 25
334 Circumcision is for little boys only, silly. We castrated Spot." 1.4462 0.04398 260 177 50 33
335 if he can learn to stop drinking from the toilet, so can you! 1.4457 0.04250 258 171 59 28
336 Jared and Ivanka have to move and they cant keep him 1.4454 0.04269 238 154 62 22
337 Let's play who's a good boy. 1.4453 0.04165 256 167 64 25
338 Does Winston look like he would eat your homework? 1.4449 0.04460 227 149 55 23
339 Why can’t you be more like your brother? 1.4436 0.04152 257 168 64 25
340 I told you: He's not my favorite. Now let's play fetch! 1.4436 0.04225 257 170 60 27
341 It's just until humans are allowed to socialize again. 1.4426 0.03943 244 152 76 16
342 I don't compare you. I contrast you.” 1.4425 0.04646 226 153 46 27
343 I’m not saying you and your brother have to be best friends, but the least you could do is throw him a bone. 1.4422 0.04069 251 161 69 21
344 Timmy, we no longer say, "Here, boy." Spike prefers the non-binary, "Here, dog." Especially since their surgery. 1.4422 0.04371 251 169 53 29
345 Okay, if it will make you happy, daddy will put your poop in a bag, too 1.4422 0.04444 251 171 49 31
346 It looks like someone could use a lesson in being a good boy ! 1.4421 0.04290 233 151 61 21
347 If it weren’t for him, you’d still be in that well. 1.4417 0.04200 240 155 64 21
348 It's okay, roll over doesn't come naturally to everyone 1.4412 0.04267 238 155 61 22
349 And hey, in just a couple of dog years you'll be an only child again! 1.4409 0.04111 254 165 66 23
350 It’s 2021 now son, we don’t discriminate on the basis of species 1.4409 0.04149 254 166 64 24
351 Don’t sulk Timmy, there’s room for two good boys in our family. 1.4408 0.04336 245 163 56 26
352 Come on. Try! If he can walk, you can bark. 1.4400 0.04272 250 166 58 26
353 But you didn’t like that suit when it fit you 1.4400 0.04119 250 162 66 22
354 Max is sorry he sniffed your butthole. 1.4400 0.04383 250 169 52 29
355 Don’t worry Timmy, you’re both adopted 1.4400 0.04119 250 162 66 22
356 Here's a lesson for you, kid. He dressed for success and won Best in Show. 1.4397 0.04430 232 154 54 24
357 C'mon now . . . shake hands, smell each other's butts and be friends again. 1.4385 0.04230 244 160 61 23
358 Well, yes in fact, he IS a royal son of a bitch. 1.4385 0.04230 244 160 61 23
359 Sorry, Jimmy. You’re my son, but Waldo’s my best friend. 1.4384 0.04482 219 144 54 21
360 Well, you’re my second best friend 1.4381 0.04198 226 144 65 17
361 I would call you a good boy too if you rolled over and wagged your tail when I come home. 1.4381 0.04558 226 152 49 25
362 It's complicated, but call him 'the brother from another mother.' 1.4380 0.04090 242 155 68 19
363 Come on Jimmy, mom and I needed a emotional support child. 1.4380 0.04048 242 154 70 18
364 Can you believe I got pants on the dog? 2021 is gonna be my year. 1.4378 0.04665 201 132 50 19
365 Come on now, Jefferey. Spike doesn't pee "weird", he just pees "differently". 1.4375 0.04197 240 156 63 21
366 Unfortunately, we can't afford college for both so we picked the smarter one. 1.4375 0.04556 240 165 45 30
367 You aren't going to win any Obedience awards with that attitude. 1.4370 0.04137 238 153 66 19
368 That’s just how he identifies today. 1.4370 0.04264 238 156 60 22
369 You don’t like his outfit? You should see the cat’s pajamas. 1.4370 0.04346 238 158 56 24
370 Come on now, I want you two to lick and make up 1.4351 0.04291 239 158 58 23
371 Sorry, Billy, I just don’t believe you saw him playing poker. He’s a dog for goodness’ sakes. 1.4350 0.04468 223 148 53 22
372 You were an accident. The dog was our choice. 1.4350 0.04468 223 148 53 22
373 You'll learn to love obedience school, like Ralph did. 1.4346 0.04651 214 144 47 23
374 No, I don’t love him more, I just think he has more executive potential. 1.4340 0.04548 235 161 46 28
375 Because you've outgrown it, that's why. 1.4338 0.04288 219 141 61 17
376 Think of it this way. You haven't lost a pet. You've gained a brother. 1.4338 0.04139 219 138 67 14
377 Maybe if you were more like your brother... 1.4338 0.04337 219 142 59 18
378 Don't worry, he's not my son. He's my best friend. 1.4336 0.04379 226 149 56 21
379 Alfie passed agility, flyball, rally, field scent trials, Rorschach's, and scored highest on the Stanford-Binet scale, isn't that great Oliver... 1.4335 0.04733 203 136 46 21
380 I know he's not a real boy, but you have to admit he looks good when he's dressed up. 1.4335 0.04284 233 153 59 21
381 Yes Billy I do love him more but you’ll outlive him. 1.4335 0.04327 233 154 57 22
382 But if Tippy wears the outfit, Daddy's video could go viral! 1.4329 0.04266 231 151 60 20
383 See...this is what a good boy looks like. 1.4329 0.04482 231 156 50 25
384 He really didn't steal your homework . He ate it. 1.4324 0.04480 222 148 52 22
385 If he can walk this far on two feet, so can you. 1.4324 0.04388 222 146 56 20
386 When you get a million hits on YouTube, you get to pick the restaurant 1.4316 0.04139 234 151 65 18
387 But the suit doesn’t fit you anymore! 1.4316 0.04227 234 153 61 20
388 I just want to find 11,780 votes. 1.4306 0.04799 216 150 39 27
389 Hey little man,not everyone can get into Harvard. 1.4298 0.04304 228 150 58 20
390 Well, he gets to watch YouTube because he makes so much money on YouTube 1.4298 0.04393 228 152 54 22
391 I told you: adopting Reggie has given us the chance to correct the parenting mistakes we've made with you. 1.4294 0.04924 170 111 45 14
392 Sorry son. Only one of you can go to college, and Fido shows more promise. 1.4292 0.04331 226 149 57 20
393 You're right he's my favorite now because I don't have to do common core math with him! 1.4292 0.04465 226 152 51 23
394 Don't be a baby...it is YOUR TURN to fetch. 1.4292 0.04465 226 152 51 23
395 You’re sorry that we traded your sister for a dog? 1.4292 0.04421 226 151 53 22
396 When you can catch a ball as well as your brother, you'll get a new suit too... 1.4292 0.04331 226 149 57 20
397 Well, you wouldn't wear it. 1.4292 0.04145 226 145 65 16
398 I’m not trying to play favorites, Bobby, but you have to pick up your own poop. 1.4292 0.04509 226 153 49 24
399 Gee, Timmy, it's not that we love you less; it's just that we love him more." 1.4286 0.04538 224 152 48 24
400 Ok, very funny Merlin, now please say the magic word to turn him back into your brother. 1.4286 0.04575 196 128 52 16
401 But this dog is suited for you! 1.4286 0.04753 189 125 47 17
402 Not only is he better behaved, he is better dressed. 1.4280 0.04156 236 154 63 19
403 Don’t sulk, Bobby. You can tinkle on the next fire hydrant. 1.4279 0.04291 222 145 59 18
404 Because if you do, Daddy will get his research grant. 1.4279 0.04477 222 149 51 22
405 Yes I know ... but this little soirée is just for him and his obedience-school colleagues 1.4279 0.04186 215 142 56 17
406 It’s ok, bud. Some dogs just aren’t into sports. 1.4279 0.04115 208 130 67 11
407 We'll go to the playground another day, Oscar has to go to his piano lesson now. 1.4265 0.04501 204 134 53 17
408 He’s a good boy. You were not. 1.4261 0.04319 230 153 56 21
409 You're right Timmy! Your brother IS a son of a bitch! 1.4260 0.04506 223 151 49 23
410 Hey, look on the bright side, at least you still have your nuts 1.4260 0.04595 223 153 45 25
411 Well son, some dogs play fetch and others play bridge. 1.4260 0.04370 223 148 55 20
412 Son, I know you want to be like your brother but you can't go wagging your 'tail' in public 1.4253 0.04444 221 148 52 21
413 Actually, you're both adopted! 1.4253 0.04397 221 147 54 20
414 This is your brother, Rover. He chooses to identify as a canine, we must accept his decision. 1.4253 0.04397 221 147 54 20
415 Don't be embarrassed, Timmy. Barking at firetrucks runs in the family. 1.4253 0.04444 221 148 52 21
416 If it makes you feel less jealous, you're BOTH adopted! 1.4253 0.04625 221 152 44 25
417 I promise, your turn to fetch the stick is next 1.4253 0.04057 221 140 68 13
418 I'm sorry, buddy, but those DNA ancestry tests don't lie. 1.4251 0.04454 207 136 54 17
419 Good news. You’re not the favorite anymore, but we decided to keep you anyway. 1.4251 0.04558 207 138 50 19
420 Is that a ‘best in show’ kind of smile? 1.4247 0.04682 186 122 49 15
421 He says jeans and a tee shirt just isn't him. 1.4247 0.04557 186 120 53 13
422 But your new brother really IS a son of a bitch. 1.4247 0.04611 219 150 45 24
423 Who needs a belly-rub? 1.4247 0.04330 219 144 57 18
424 I thought I was taking him to get neutered - not tutored. 1.4247 0.04330 219 144 57 18
425 Let's try again: Now who is a good boy? 1.4247 0.04426 219 146 53 20
426 Of course some of those "good boy" comments were for you. 1.4247 0.04330 219 144 57 18
427 Can you tell Fido you’re sorry for biting him? 1.4247 0.04281 219 143 59 17
428 I don't love him more he just has seven birthdays a year 1.4247 0.04656 219 151 43 25
429 He gets to wear a suit because he's got a job. 1.4242 0.04476 231 158 48 25
430 Maybe if you didn't throw Donald Trump level tantrums you'd get a nice suit too. 1.4236 0.04777 203 139 42 22
431 You can also get a new suit once you’re toilet trained. 1.4236 0.04460 203 133 54 16
432 Should we name the new puppy "Deduction"? 1.4235 0.04739 196 132 45 19
433 Don't worry. He'll never be able to fill your shoes. 1.4234 0.04143 222 143 64 15
434 "Of Course Billy! Mommy and Daddy like Fluffy better than you. He's paper trained and is always happy to see us. 1.4234 0.04428 222 149 52 21
435 Show him you’re well bred too. 1.4233 0.04483 215 144 51 20
436 He’s your brother because your mother’s a bitch. 1.4233 0.04856 215 152 35 28
437 Obedience school will be fun! 1.4233 0.04435 215 143 53 19
438 Hey look on the bright side kid,,,,could’ve been a cat 1.4233 0.04385 215 142 55 18
439 He can’t help it. He’s a purebred. 1.4229 0.04750 175 114 48 13
440 Molly is technically 21, so we're leaving her in charge while we're out. 1.4225 0.04663 187 123 49 15
441 Be nice to your cousin. He leaves for Eton in a week. 1.4221 0.04465 199 130 54 15
442 Use your words. 1.4220 0.04243 218 142 60 16
443 I’m sorry. You’re a good boy too, sometimes.” 1.4220 0.04243 218 142 60 16
444 Well you didn't like it and it suits him fine. 1.4220 0.04532 218 148 48 22
445 I know you’re a little jealous - but it’s not every day your brother graduates from obedience school. 1.4220 0.04485 218 147 50 21
446 Yes, he gets to wear a suit, but YOU don’t have to get fixed. 1.4220 0.04625 218 150 44 24
447 See, Spanky isn't ashamed to hold his father's hand in public. 1.4217 0.05000 166 110 42 14
448 Come on, Timmy, who's a good boy? 1.4215 0.04320 223 148 56 19
449 Stop calling your sister "bitch". 1.4215 0.06402 121 85 21 15
450 Who's not a good boy? 1.4213 0.04270 216 141 59 16
451 You wanted a puppy. You wanted a little brother. Now you have both! 1.4213 0.04418 216 144 53 19
452 Mommy and Daddy love you both equally. We give Sniffer special gifts because he doesn't bite. 1.4213 0.04270 216 141 59 16
453 Hey son, how about we play “go-fetch” after I take Skippy to his cello recital? 1.4213 0.04369 216 143 55 18
454 Your mother and I couldn't agree, so we compromised. 1.4194 0.04800 186 125 44 17
455 Timmy, this is Miss Lillie. She is going to work with you on your Cognitive Behavior, and if you fail to listen, she will bite you. 1.4194 0.06070 124 85 26 13
456 Let me explain the difference between a literal good boy and a figurative good boy. 1.4194 0.04354 217 144 55 18
457 'Your brother was just trying to be nice when he sniffed your butt!" 1.4190 0.04557 210 142 48 20
458 Now apologize to Buddy for eating his homework. 1.4188 0.04469 191 124 54 13
459 Yes, of course you’re my second favorite. 1.4188 0.04710 191 128 46 17
460 After Mom left, I needed to find someone a bit more loyal, son. 1.4188 0.04739 191 131 41 19
461 You cannot have a treat for peeing outside. We’ve gone over this! 1.4188 0.04768 191 129 44 18
462 Don't worry buddy. He may be able to wear your clothes but he can never fill your shoes! 1.4186 0.04381 215 143 54 18
463 Cheer up son! We'll go to the human park next week! 1.4186 0.04332 215 142 56 17
464 Trust me, you and Little Dog Fauntleroy are going to great friends. 1.4186 0.04431 215 144 52 19
465 When you graduate from obedience school, you can dress up too! 1.4186 0.04528 215 146 48 21
466 You only have to share a room until his mother gets home from chasing that garbage truck. 1.4186 0.04623 215 148 44 23
467 Don’t be silly. Your mother and I love you both equally! 1.4186 0.04431 215 144 52 19
468 Yes, he's adopted. But Mommy and Daddy love him just the same as we do you. 1.4183 0.04537 208 140 49 19
469 Don't cry. Now, Daddy can get his full $1200 stimulus. 1.4179 0.04541 201 134 50 17
470 Now now Johnny, Jack won the frisbee toss fair and square. 1.4177 0.04770 158 101 48 9
471 Before I married your mommy I was married to a real bitch. That makes him your half-brother, son. 1.4176 0.04997 182 125 38 19
472 Because unlike you he never poops in his pants. 1.4174 0.04482 218 148 49 21
473 They don’t fit you and we don’t live in London anymore. ! 1.4172 0.04831 163 106 46 11
474 Well, yes, I do love him more. 1.4171 0.04573 199 133 49 17
475 With just a little more effort, you could be a good boy, too. 1.4171 0.04589 211 144 46 21
476 You only have to tell the teacher he is your brother "Fido" one day more - the dog walker will be back on Monday! 1.4171 0.04439 211 141 52 18
477 If he can hold it so can you!!! 1.4171 0.04388 211 140 54 17
478 I know it's not fair that your sister gets to bite the neighbor, but she also doesn't get to eat chocolate. 1.4167 0.04881 168 111 44 13
479 You never wear it, so why shouldn't he? 1.4162 0.04629 185 122 49 14
480 So now you want to wear the suit 1.4161 0.05028 161 107 39 13
481 Well Jason,not everyone can be man’s best friend. 1.4159 0.04541 214 146 47 21
482 define normal. 1.4157 0.04951 178 121 40 17
483 After the family re-org you'll be reporting directly to Sparky. 1.4157 0.04846 166 109 45 12
484 Don't worry Timmy, when school reopens, you'll get the proper training too. 1.4155 0.04498 207 139 50 18
485 OK, maybe he can retrieve a ball faster than you but you can reflect on the meaning of life. 1.4155 0.04445 207 138 52 17
486 If you'll just play along Daddy will split the extra stimulus check with you. 1.4140 0.04734 186 125 45 16
487 I'm sorry Timmy, but it's true. You were adopted. 1.4140 0.04672 186 124 47 15
488 No, this time he gets to be Christopher Robin and you are Pooh Bear. 1.4138 0.04396 203 133 54 15
489 I was just kidding. He's not your long lost twin brother. 1.4138 0.04139 203 132 58 11
490 Listen, you wanted a puppy and your mother wanted another kid, this is a win for everybody. 1.4138 0.04768 203 141 40 22
491 You have to admit—it looks better on him. 1.4136 0.04586 191 127 49 15
492 He's your brother by another mother. 1.4136 0.04646 191 128 47 16
493 But you are better in math. Let him win in stick retrieving! 1.4136 0.04646 191 128 47 16
494 This one's a terror and this one's a terrier! 1.4136 0.04763 191 130 43 18
495 Don't be jealous. You'll wear a suit for your bar mitzvah, too! 1.4129 0.04591 201 136 47 18
496 We'll get ice cream as soon as you show me unconditional love! Yes, we will! 1.4129 0.04481 201 134 51 16
497 Please help Daddy pretend this is a normal playdate. 1.4127 0.04680 189 127 46 16
498 Don’t be angry son, he identifies as human. 1.4126 0.04405 206 137 53 16
499 You don't see JibJab complaining about getting dressed up for dinner at Nana's. 1.4121 0.04869 182 124 41 17
500 Please be patient, like your sister, while daddy finds his glasses! 1.4121 0.04869 182 124 41 17
501 See! Your sister was ok with her covid vaccine shot 1.4121 0.04941 199 141 34 24
502 I thought you hated that suit. 1.4121 0.04455 199 132 52 15
503 Keep misbehaving and we'll give him your bed too. 1.4121 0.04623 199 135 46 18
504 Look Johnny, your brother is just fine, so let's get you vaccinated, too. 1.4121 0.04678 199 136 44 19
505 Son, could you fetch his loafers? 1.4121 0.04623 199 135 46 18
506 You’re a good boy too, Billy. You just remind me of all my failures. 1.4118 0.05115 170 117 36 17
507 What's wrong? You asked for a haute dog. 1.4118 0.05047 170 116 38 16
508 It's ok, son. He just wants to take you for a walk. 1.4108 0.04749 185 125 44 16
509 Seriously, where did you hide your brother’s frisbee? 1.4105 0.04660 190 128 46 16
510 That gender reveal cake filled with liver treats makes a lot more sense now, right? 1.4105 0.04660 190 128 46 16
511 Be nice. He's a major YouTube influencer with 21 million followers. 1.4096 0.05203 166 115 34 17
512 Who's a not-as-good boy? 1.4091 0.04692 198 136 43 19
513 But look what obedience school did for him. 1.4091 0.04410 198 131 53 14
514 Because he's dressed for success, that's why 1.4091 0.04581 198 134 47 17
515 Well you see Billy, he is always happy to see me. 1.4091 0.04352 198 130 55 13
516 But you’re my favorite *human* child. 1.4091 0.04637 198 135 45 18
517 The suit just fits him better. 1.4089 0.04712 203 141 41 21
518 I promised Barkley a new boy, but if you don't behave, it's back to the shelter. 1.4082 0.04556 196 132 48 16
519 Be nice, he's my best friend! 1.4074 0.04614 189 127 47 15
520 How would you feel if I made you chase a stick? 1.4072 0.04530 194 130 49 15
521 Once you're house broken, you get a treat too. 1.4072 0.04410 194 128 53 13
522 Look, you said you wanted a dog. Your sister said she wanted a dress up doll. This is what we got. OK? 1.4072 0.04588 194 131 47 16
523 you're not a rescue animal, sweetie, we adopted you. 1.4072 0.04349 194 127 55 12
524 Hey now, what did we say about calling your sister the B word? 1.4072 0.04588 194 136 39 19
525 Who's an angry boy, huh? Who's an angry boy? You are ... yes, you are. 1.4072 0.04530 194 130 49 15
526 But to him, sniffing your friends’ butt is just a greeting.” 1.4072 0.04410 194 128 53 13
527 I know it's weird, but just be thankful your step-mom isn't a cat person. 1.4072 0.04410 194 128 53 13
528 He's a dog,he doesn't have to wear shoes! 1.4072 0.04410 194 128 53 13
529 Now...HOOSAGOODBOI!? 1.4072 0.04646 194 132 45 17
530 We're not playing favorites, we love you both the same. When you get to be 21, we'll buy you a new suit too. 1.4070 0.04450 199 133 51 15
531 Yes, it’s an expensive suit, but he got into law school and you didn’t. 1.4070 0.04507 199 134 49 16
532 You asked Santa for your puppy to be happy... And his dream is to be a tax attorney. 1.4070 0.04833 199 140 37 22
533 I'm still your paw. 1.4062 0.04738 192 132 42 18
534 Look, son, it's nothing personal. When we adopted you and Rufus, we knew we would only keep one of you, and surprisingly, you have a better return policy. 1.4061 0.05362 165 117 29 19
535 We went to the human park yesterday, so today we are going to the dog park. It’s only fair, Timmy. 1.4056 0.05274 143 96 36 11
536 But I can pick up more girls this way. 1.4056 0.04837 180 123 41 16
537 We've enrolled you in obedience training. Look what it's done for Spud! 1.4056 0.04505 180 118 51 11
538 Don't be jealous. He'll be dead by the time you're fourteen. 1.4056 0.05026 180 126 35 19
539 Jeremy! We apologize when we pull tails. 1.4053 0.04654 190 129 45 16
540 I know it was you that peed on the carpet. 1.4053 0.04714 190 130 43 17
541 Wait 'til you see your sister. 1.4053 0.04888 190 133 37 20
542 I don't care what you think...you CANNOT call his mother a bitch. 1.4053 0.04714 190 130 43 17
543 Yeah, well he says you ate his homework. 1.4053 0.04831 190 132 39 19
544 Come on, only a few more followers on TikTok and we can afford to send you to college. 1.4053 0.04471 190 126 51 13
545 He likes to watch Downton Abbey and you don't. 1.4051 0.05082 158 107 38 13
546 Now, which one of you peed on the floor? 1.4049 0.05122 163 112 36 15
547 Son, we've been over this. I don't have a favorite child! 1.4044 0.04716 183 124 44 15
548 Mom said to bring the well-dressed one to the party...so it must be deworming for you. 1.4043 0.04627 188 127 46 15
549 Since Rex listens to us, we’ve decided to enroll HIM in that expensive private school instead! 1.4043 0.04688 188 128 44 16
550 Because he’s a good boy, that’s why. 1.4041 0.04361 193 127 54 12
551 If you behave, I'll give you a treat too! 1.4041 0.04718 193 133 42 18
552 Don't worry, Timmy, if you work hard and get good grades, we can send you to Harvard, too. 1.4041 0.04602 193 131 46 16
553 Hey, I love you more. but a boy in a suit is just not going to take off on Tik Tok 1.4041 0.04423 193 128 52 13
554 It's dog years, Billy. He'll only be your baby brother for like, 6 months. 1.4041 0.04483 193 129 50 14
555 He is very sorry for eating your homework. 1.4041 0.04718 193 133 42 18
556 How many times did I tell you? Dress for the job you WANT. 1.4041 0.04718 193 133 42 18
557 Yes, you are my son and yes, we are humans. But Max's Instagram channel really took off during quarantine, so we listen to him now 1.4041 0.04483 193 129 50 14
558 Donald, you can't be Best In Show 1.4041 0.05286 146 99 35 12
559 Let’s try not to bite this nanny. We’re running out of options. 1.4037 0.04936 161 108 41 12
560 He'll stop biting if you call him a dachshund instead of a wiener dog. 1.4037 0.04694 161 105 47 9
561 But Sparky gives me unconditional love! 1.4035 0.04878 171 116 41 14
562 But you didn't want to go to church. 1.4035 0.05017 171 118 37 16
563 Max is teasing. You're not adopted. 1.4035 0.04948 171 117 39 15
564 Don't be upset... he thinks he's off to be "tutored"... 1.4027 0.05628 149 106 26 17
565 That’s just how he says ‘hi’ 1.4022 0.04981 179 125 36 18
566 And... in the contest for obedience,we have a winner!! 1.4022 0.04655 179 120 46 13
567 Who's a good boy? You're a good boy! 1.4022 0.04587 179 119 48 12
568 We promised your mother we'd get a dog that was already house trained. 1.4021 0.04484 189 126 50 13
569 You can have people food again as soon as you start dressing appropriately for dinner! 1.4021 0.04583 194 132 46 16
570 Now don’t be jealous. You’re a good boy too. 1.4013 0.04855 157 104 43 10
571 But you got to ride shotgun last time. 1.4012 0.04989 162 110 39 13
572 Now, don't tease your little brother. When you were his age, you were in short pants, too. 1.4012 0.04884 167 113 41 13
573 We can only afford Tuition for one Private School this year. 1.4011 0.04763 187 129 41 17
574 Cheer up, after the dog park, we'll go to the playground. 1.4011 0.04579 187 126 47 14
575 Donald, if you keep acting up, you'll never be president 1.4000 0.04958 180 126 36 18
576 You're going to love the kennel, Kenneth, the swap is for all of our own good. 1.4000 0.04766 180 123 42 15
577 You didn't want the prep school, so you get the obedience school. Fair's fair. 1.4000 0.04483 185 123 50 12
578 Now it's YOUR turn for obedience school. 1.4000 0.04567 180 120 48 12
579 We love you equally, but he was much easier to potty train. 1.4000 0.04701 180 122 44 14
580 Well, you wouldn't wear it so we thought.... 1.4000 0.04708 160 105 46 9
581 Yes, son, but remember that you will always be taller. And maybe someday you'll get a law degree too. 1.4000 0.04675 185 126 44 15
582 You're going to LOVE the little farm upstate! 1.4000 0.04767 190 132 40 18
583 You're just a white middle-class male like me, but Chauncey, he's well-bred, he's got a future. 1.4000 0.04634 180 121 46 13
584 Who's a good boy? No seriously, which one of you is a good boy? 1.4000 0.04675 185 126 44 15
585 That's just how they say, "Hello." 1.4000 0.04675 185 126 44 15
586 Fetching daddy's beer brings rewards, just ask Bailey. 1.4000 0.04799 185 128 40 17
587 It's a dog-eat-dog world out there, so Quimby has come to tutor you. 1.4000 0.04612 185 125 46 14
588 You are our biological son, not our rescue son. 1.4000 0.04567 180 120 48 12
589 No, we don’t love Winston more than you. It’s just that he’s better behaved. 1.4000 0.04701 180 122 44 14
590 You’re going to love the farm! So much room to run and play. 1.4000 0.04920 185 130 36 19
591 Ronnie, this is our new dog Spencer. From now on he’ll supervise all of your on-line learning, 1.4000 0.04612 185 125 46 14
592 Here's a hint - we're keeping the housebroken one. 1.4000 0.04738 185 127 42 16
593 You knew there was only enough money to send one of you to a private, four-year obedience school 1.4000 0.04483 185 123 50 12
594 Look at the bright side - you got the shoes. 1.4000 0.04282 185 120 56 9
595 Look at the bright side! He’s wearing the stupid suit Aunt Judy got you! 1.3989 0.04559 188 127 47 14
596 ...Why can't you just be more like your brother? 1.3989 0.04433 188 125 51 12
597 I told you we would get you a brother for Christmas. 1.3989 0.04559 188 127 47 14
598 We love you both equally, but his posts do get a lot more likes 1.3978 0.04592 186 126 46 14
599 Little Lord Spotleroy has social media because he’s old enough, remember? 1.3978 0.04997 181 128 34 19
600 Donald, this is the only volunteer who committed to play with you. 1.3978 0.04680 181 123 44 14
601 Maybe if you weren't so grumpy I'd call you a good boy too! 1.3978 0.04680 181 123 44 14
602 This is why we can’t leave dirty clothes on the floor. 1.3978 0.04680 181 123 44 14
603 K-9 school is formal. Pre-K is not. Just go with it. 1.3978 0.04935 181 127 36 18
604 It was Fido's Obedience School graduation. Don't worry, you'll go back to school some day, too! 1.3978 0.04809 181 125 40 16
605 Why are you so upset? It doesn’t fit you anymore. 1.3977 0.04654 171 114 46 11
606 Good dog! Bad boy! 1.3975 0.04808 161 110 39 12
607 Do you want to go into your crate? 1.3974 0.05405 151 106 30 15
608 Be nice. According to 23andMe he's your third cousin twice removed. 1.3972 0.05315 141 96 34 11
609 He’s your brother from my first wife. 1.3967 0.04689 184 126 43 15
610 You’re my second best friend. 1.3967 0.04752 184 127 41 16
611 It's only okay for dogs to sniff their friends' butts. 1.3967 0.04752 184 127 41 16
612 Puppy for your birthday; little brother for Christmas. These are the joys of being born on December 25th. 1.3967 0.04689 184 126 43 15
613 He's my best friend. You're still my son. 1.3967 0.04752 184 127 41 16
614 C'mon Joey, don't be mad, Rex wants you to be his emotional support human. 1.3967 0.04689 184 126 43 15
615 You know something, you’re right! You SHOULD be able to attend obedience school too! 1.3967 0.04561 184 124 47 13
616 Now Bobby, you know how you've always said you wanted a puppy and a little brother? 1.3966 0.04781 179 123 41 15
617 C'mon, Billy, you and I are jeans and t-shirt guys, not like 'mr. fancy pants' here. 1.3966 0.04648 179 121 45 13
618 Sorry son, only Mr. Kibbles gets rewarded for going potty outside. 1.3966 0.04974 179 126 35 18
619 Son, I just feel like his education is the better investment. 1.3966 0.04715 179 122 43 14
620 Well, he’s technically your older brother. 1.3964 0.04689 169 113 45 11
621 It’s ok Tommy, you just don’t remember when you were young enough to shit in the yard. 1.3963 0.05162 164 115 33 16
622 You'll get a treat too once you've graduated from obedience school. 1.3956 0.04391 182 120 52 10
623 Sorry son, but he's my best friend. 1.3956 0.04974 182 129 34 19
624 Don’t worry, you’re both rescues. 1.3956 0.04460 182 121 50 11
625 Well at least one of you comes from good breeding. 1.3956 0.04594 182 123 46 13
626 It’s okay son, you were BOTH adopted! 1.3956 0.04659 182 124 44 14
627 If you whine any more Donald, I dress you up like rufus. 1.3951 0.04981 162 111 38 13
628 Unlike you, he is potty trained and obeys commands. He gets to ride Shotgun 1.3946 0.04605 185 126 45 14
629 Guess who didn’t wet the bed last night? 1.3944 0.04694 180 123 43 14
630 A lot of doors will open with an obedience degree. 1.3944 0.04491 180 120 49 11
631 Do we need to send you to obedience school? Look at how well Bentley is behaving. 1.3944 0.04824 180 125 39 16
632 It's okay, buddy. We can't all have our tail in the back. 1.3944 0.04694 180 123 43 14
633 I don't think that "small wiener" comment was directed at you. 1.3944 0.04824 180 125 39 16
634 You never wore it, Andy and Sparky loves it. 1.3944 0.04951 180 127 35 18
635 Sorry, but your pre-school doesn’t have a best in show category.” 1.3944 0.05014 180 128 33 19
636 I don't care if he bit you first: say "I'm sorry". 1.3944 0.04491 180 120 49 11
637 I told you. Behave, or we're sending you to obedience school just like Bentley here. 1.3944 0.04760 180 124 41 15
638 We'll buy you nice clothes when you learn to go on the paper 1.3944 0.04888 180 126 37 17
639 I set up this playdate & you don’t have to wear your mask! 1.3944 0.04760 180 124 41 15
640 You just have to accept it, not everyone looks good in Thom Browne. 1.3941 0.04957 170 118 37 15
641 Jimmy, your teacher was upset because YOU pooped on the ground also. 1.3939 0.04991 165 114 37 14
642 C'mon Timmy, if Baxter can wear it to church then so can you." 1.3938 0.05023 160 110 37 13
643 I told you. I do NOT have a favorite. 1.3934 0.04639 183 125 44 14
644 Daddy confused 'tutor' and 'neuter', but I said I was sorry. 1.3934 0.04829 183 128 38 17
645 Cheer up. At least now you’ll have a friend at obedience school. 1.3934 0.04639 183 125 44 14
646 That's the deal. He won the race, he gets to wear the suit. 1.3934 0.04639 183 125 44 14
647 Son, you had your shot and wouldn't wear the outfit, so we gave it to Max. 1.3933 0.05258 150 104 33 13
648 Ok, we’ll get ice cream right after his piano recital. 1.3933 0.04628 178 123 41 14
649 Now Billy, Fido called 'shotgun' first. You'll just have to ride in the back of the pickup. 1.3931 0.05297 145 100 33 12
650 I think we all know which one of you has been a good boy 1.3929 0.04779 168 114 42 12
651 We love you, but he can fetch. 1.3929 0.04926 168 116 38 14
652 You know Daddy loves you both the same. 1.3929 0.04550 168 111 48 9
653 Oh, come on - a dog park is still a park. 1.3929 0.04926 168 116 38 14
654 And you can be our favorite human child. 1.3929 0.05138 168 119 32 17
655 Maybe next year, son, you should ask Santa for something that doesn't have the ability to listen and behave better than you. 1.3929 0.05138 168 119 32 17
656 Hey... don’t pout...you can be my OTHER best friend. 1.3929 0.04926 168 116 38 14
657 There’s something you should know about your new stepmom Billy 1.3929 0.04779 168 114 42 12
658 Nobody’s going to believe he’s an exchange student 1.3920 0.04338 176 115 53 8
659 Buster won Best In Show he gets to ride up front on the way home. 1.3911 0.04774 179 124 40 15
660 Santa misunderstood your wish for a dog with a trim coat. 1.3911 0.04840 179 125 38 16
661 Well, if YOU had gotten best in class, you might have gotten special treatment, too. 1.3911 0.04774 179 124 40 15
662 It's okay -he`s not mad at you for eating his homework. 1.3911 0.04968 179 127 34 18
663 Daddy loves you both equally but think of Toby as my domesticated son and today you are really acting an awful lot like his feral brother. 1.3911 0.04774 179 124 40 15
664 They don’t fit you anymore, Waffles needs these for his bark mitzvah 1.3911 0.04433 179 119 50 10
665 At least your brother knows not to talk back. 1.3911 0.04641 179 122 44 13
666 Look! Santa DID bring you a little brother! 1.3911 0.04641 179 122 44 13
667 Muffy wasn't upset when I told her SHE was adopted 1.3908 0.04662 174 118 44 12
668 Don't worry, you can be teacher's pet next week. 1.3908 0.04733 174 119 42 13
669 I want you both to sniff and make up. 1.3908 0.04443 174 115 50 9
670 Now Billy, we don’t make fun of Malcolm because he’s adopted. 1.3908 0.04662 174 118 44 12
671 It’ll be fun. I’ll hold onto his paw, and you’ll hold onto your Pa. 1.3908 0.04662 174 118 44 12
672 I know, but his obedience school has a strict dress code. 1.3908 0.04517 174 116 48 10
673 Of course I love you equally...just differently. 1.3908 0.04939 174 122 36 16
674 C'mon. You don't see Rex scowling about obedience school. 1.3908 0.04517 174 116 48 10
675 Well, he does need to look good during my zoom meetings. 1.3908 0.04733 174 119 42 13
676 I know he doesn’t fetch, but wait ‘til you see his table manners! 1.3908 0.04733 174 119 42 13
677 Don't be mad, the dog park has a new dress code. 1.3908 0.04590 174 117 46 11
678 Mommy and I told you. Fraternal twins - not identical. 1.3908 0.04662 174 118 44 12
679 Well yes, he is our favorite but we love you too. 1.3906 0.04662 192 134 41 17
680 He did your homework, didn't he? 1.3904 0.04992 146 98 39 9
681 Winston can hear the difference between Smetana and Dvorak. 1.3898 0.05650 118 80 30 8
682 Why can't you be more like your dog? 1.3895 0.04625 172 116 45 11
683 The government will probably pay for your tuition at private school if you get the vaccine too. It’s just one shot, son, and look, your brother’s fine. 1.3895 0.04840 172 119 39 14
684 Don’t worry, he’s only my therapy child. 1.3886 0.04569 175 118 46 11
685 Of course you’re adopted! 1.3886 0.04848 175 122 38 15
686 Now that you're not walking on all fours, you can get a suit too! 1.3886 0.04641 175 119 44 12
687 I keep telling you, Tommy, this is his birthday suit! 1.3882 0.04430 170 112 50 8
688 Of course we still love you 1.3882 0.04807 170 117 40 13
689 I know he is a dog dressed up as a boy, but you wouldn't wear the outfit that Grandma sent! 1.3882 0.04734 170 116 42 12
690 You’re right Jimmy, she is a bitch. 1.3882 0.04807 170 117 40 13
691 You wanted a brother, we wanted a dog, this is a win-win. 1.3882 0.04734 170 116 42 12
692 I understand you only had him for 2 years but he's 24 now and is off to college. 1.3882 0.04734 170 116 42 12
693 You need to get into a good obedience school. 1.3882 0.04949 170 119 36 15
694 Sorry,this year it's take your *favorite kid to work day. 1.3882 0.04878 170 118 38 14
695 Here’s Mommy’s answer to the baby brother request. 1.3882 0.04734 170 116 42 12
696 You said you wanted a new dog and a little brother. 1.3882 0.04660 170 115 44 11
697 Don't be angy, you're Daddy's "Good Boy" too. 1.3882 0.04660 170 115 44 11
698 don't worry Timmy, I won't cut off your balls too. 1.3882 0.05088 170 121 32 17
699 Sorry son, we can only afford private school for one of you. 1.3882 0.05156 170 122 30 18
700 Bring up those grades so you can get into Eton like your brother. 1.3878 0.05239 147 102 33 12
701 Except for his food and water bowls, you'll have to learn to share. 1.3876 0.04654 178 122 43 13
702 You can’t have a puppy, Noah. That would be weird. 1.3875 0.05392 160 116 26 18
703 Sorry Donald but he won... This is the Nobel Prize Wiener 1.3869 0.05131 168 120 31 17
704 Donald! Why can't you be a good boy like Romney here. Romney's a good boy! 1.3869 0.05131 168 120 31 17
705 I've told you, Timmy. Your stepbrother gets seven birthdays because of dog years. 1.3869 0.04845 168 116 39 13
706 It's not that he wear's it well. It's that he wears it at all. 1.3869 0.04771 168 115 41 12
707 Due to social distancing your mother and I weren’t able to give you a little brother this year. 1.3869 0.04918 168 117 37 14
708 Tommy, there's a good reason why we wear our pants this way and Scooter wears his backwards. 1.3869 0.04845 168 116 39 13
709 Once you learn how to fetch things, I will play with you too! 1.3869 0.04918 168 117 37 14
710 He had a reaction to the vaccine but he Is still your brother 1.3869 0.04771 168 115 41 12
711 Donny, just pretend he's your brother from another mother! 1.3869 0.04918 168 117 37 14
712 See how nice someone can be when they’ve gone to obedience school. 1.3869 0.04619 168 113 45 10
713 I know it's a word for a female dog. I still don't want you calling your sister that. 1.3869 0.04918 168 117 37 14
714 That's silly! Who told you you're adopted?! 1.3869 0.04845 168 116 39 13
715 Fido can fetch. You were Born to Kvetch. 1.3869 0.04845 168 116 39 13
716 Sorry son, but based on all the attention I'm getting from the cute school moms, I'm sticking with the dog in the suit instead. 1.3869 0.04619 168 113 45 10
717 Just because he put on his own clothes doesn't mean you can poop in the yard. 1.3869 0.04771 168 115 41 12
718 I promise, you’ll get a treat too. 1.3869 0.04695 168 114 43 11
719 Get it together, Jeremy. Your brother somehow manages to tuck his shirt in and hold my hand, and he doesn't even have thumbs. 1.3862 0.05287 145 101 32 12
720 You know the rules: you have to behave seven time longer than the dog. 1.3861 0.04977 158 109 37 12
721 You can have your suit back as soon as Daddy makes the TikTok video. 1.3860 0.04711 171 117 42 12
722 We’ve promoted Rex and you’ll be reporting into him now. 1.3860 0.04487 171 114 48 9
723 Who’s a good boy!? Now walk Max to his first day at Harvard. 1.3857 0.05325 140 97 32 11
724 THIS is how you dress for success! 1.3846 0.04441 169 112 49 8
725 Just think in about a decade, you’ll be the only child again. 1.3846 0.05244 143 99 33 11
726 Play nice or you'll be neutered too. 1.3846 0.05429 143 101 29 13
727 I know you wanted a brother, but he listens when I tell him to do things and no college debt! 1.3846 0.04361 169 111 51 7
728 It's not nice to make fun of what a person is wearing.....or the fact that they're not a person. 1.3841 0.04960 151 103 38 10
729 Who’s also a good boy? 1.3832 0.04785 167 115 40 12
730 You can have his room once he leaves to crew for Oxford." 1.3832 0.04785 167 115 40 12
731 Now you know why we had the divorce. 1.3831 0.05228 154 109 31 14
732 I know it’s your suit son, but he gets more likes when he wears it. 1.3831 0.04978 154 106 37 11
733 He gets nicer clothes because you still pee on the rug. 1.3830 0.05099 141 96 36 9
734 Sure, but you have opposable thumbs. 1.3826 0.05181 149 104 33 12
735 He gets nicer clothes than you because he doesn’t outgrow them, not because we love him more. I mean, we do, but that’s not why he gets nicer clothes. 1.3818 0.04823 165 114 39 12
736 This will prepare you for the dog-eat-dog world. 1.3818 0.04746 165 113 41 11
737 There could only be one best boy. 1.3818 0.04423 165 109 49 7
738 Sorry, but they only let me bring one kid to "Bring Your Child to Work" Day. 1.3818 0.05120 165 118 31 16
739 Son, Baxter is confused because of the pandemic. He’ll go back to being a dog once you go back to school. 1.3818 0.05048 165 117 33 15
740 I don’t get it. Every time I ring the bell, your brother does his school work. How is this so hard for you? 1.3815 0.04595 173 118 44 11
741 Of course, we can still play ball together, son. 1.3813 0.05441 139 98 29 12
742 He’s only older than you in dog years. 1.3813 0.05146 139 95 35 9
743 Well, if you hadn't rejected Gran-Gran's Buster Brown Christmas outfit maybe you would have been the one to go viral on Tik-Tok. 1.3810 0.05317 147 104 30 13
744 You think this is amazing? Wait until you hear him bark in French. 1.3810 0.04762 168 116 40 12
745 Son I’m sorry we left you at the kennel, and dropped Charlie off at boarding school, but it’s for your own good 1.3810 0.05123 168 121 30 17
746 Trust me, you don’t want the procedure Fido just had. 1.3810 0.04610 168 114 44 10
747 He identifies as a human now 1.3810 0.04909 168 118 36 14
748 No, you can’t have a hot dog. 1.3806 0.05436 155 113 25 17
749 But you don’t go to private school. 1.3804 0.05015 163 115 34 14
750 Be a good boy and fetch the newspaper. 1.3804 0.05090 163 116 32 15
751 Today is his day. Tomorrow we'll go to the human park. 1.3804 0.04622 163 110 44 9
752 Happens every year, Billy. He'll keep his resolution until the first hydrant you pass, then it's back on a leash by tomorrow! 1.3804 0.04622 163 110 44 9
753 Well now Michael, ‘usurper’ is quite a big word for a five-year-old! 1.3804 0.04939 163 114 36 13
754 Even though Mr. Woofles is insta-famous and pays for our house, you’re special, too. 1.3804 0.05015 163 115 34 14
755 We still love you, Timmy. He just dresses so well and was so much easier to housebreak. 1.3804 0.04540 163 109 46 8
756 I know it's a little odd, but this is the closest thing to a little brother you're gonna get! 1.3804 0.04939 163 114 36 13
757 Just because he is adopted doesn’t mean he isn’t your brother. 1.3804 0.04622 163 110 44 9
758 Sorry son, but you’ll get your own suit once your TikTok video hits 1M 1.3804 0.04939 163 114 35 13
759 I also thought he meant something different when he said he wanted to be fetching 1.3804 0.05164 163 117 30 16
760 Nevertheless, you’re to stop calling him an SOB. 1.3796 0.05037 137 95 33 9
761 You've got to admit, he can pull that look off. 1.3796 0.05592 137 98 26 13
762 Now, now, Bobby, Roscoe's nose is just naturally brown! 1.3795 0.04799 166 115 39 12
763 I love you son, but he's my best friend. 1.3791 0.04819 153 104 40 9
764 Today, he graduates from Obedience School.” 1.3791 0.05037 153 109 31 13
765 But kindergarten is more fun than obedience school. 1.3791 0.04729 153 103 42 8
766 You’re a big boy now, so he’s Daddy’s new chick magnet. 1.3791 0.04908 153 105 38 10
767 She’s not too old to hold hands and she’s almost 77. 1.3789 0.04740 161 110 41 10
768 I know he peed in your shoes. He’s just different. Come on now, tell your little brother you love him. 1.3789 0.04902 161 112 37 12
769 I said, NO biting! 1.3789 0.04902 161 112 37 12
770 ‘We are taking a walk so he can poop not you.’ 1.3788 0.05539 132 93 28 11
771 Don't be upset. You're a good boy too. 1.3780 0.04680 164 112 42 10
772 It was either this or no brother at all. 1.3780 0.04600 164 111 44 9
773 I know you miss mommy, but you need to accept the dog and I are together now. 1.3780 0.04600 164 111 44 9
774 Your mother and I think it is the right time to tell you that you are adopted. 1.3780 0.04680 164 112 42 10
775 I know he looks ridiculous, but we can have the trousers adjusted. 1.3780 0.05064 164 117 32 15
776 Time to get dressed — we’re going to see ‘Hamilton!’ 1.3780 0.04760 164 113 40 11
777 I dress you differently so I can tell you apart! 1.3780 0.04760 164 113 40 11
778 Well, he learned to speak before you, that's why he gets to go to private school. 1.3780 0.04838 164 114 38 12
779 Don't worry Bobby. When you're ready we'll send you to obedience school too. 1.3780 0.04760 164 113 40 11
780 That’s silly, why would you think you were adopted? 1.3780 0.04760 164 113 40 11
781 He’s potty trained and dressed himself. You should take notes son. 1.3780 0.04760 164 113 40 11
782 Now that he has a PhD, he'd rather not chase the balls any more. 1.3780 0.04838 164 114 38 12
783 That's the beauty of it, Tommy. Coco is a puppy AND a successful social media influencer. 1.3780 0.04914 164 115 36 13
784 I'm sorry Billy but I'm not picking up your poop too 1.3780 0.05064 164 117 32 15
785 Yes, he is a dog, but he did up the buttons all by himself! 1.3780 0.04760 164 113 40 11
786 Listen, son, the pandemic has been tough for all of us - just pretend this is your pal Howie 1.3780 0.04680 164 112 42 10
787 Just because Spot is a Good Boy doesn’t make you any less special. 1.3780 0.04838 164 114 38 12
788 Private school costs less than his doggy day care, so for now, he's going to school with you. 1.3780 0.04990 164 116 34 14
789 We were surprised too that Barker took to home-schooling so well. 1.3780 0.04760 164 113 40 11
790 I don’t think I’m the father, either, but we have to be nice. 1.3780 0.04990 164 116 34 14
791 Just go along with it, son, he's refusing to make any more viral videos if we don't pretend he's Prince George. 1.3775 0.05125 151 106 33 12
792 It has all the advantages of a little brother, without the college tuition costs 1.3774 0.05178 159 114 30 15
793 Only obedient boys get to go to the park. 1.3774 0.04861 159 110 38 11
794 When YOU are a good boy, I'll call YOU a good boy. 1.3774 0.04861 159 110 38 11
795 Next year,maybe we will be able to send you both to private school. 1.3774 0.04942 159 111 36 12
796 This is the closest they had to a little brother at the pet store. 1.3774 0.04861 159 110 38 11
797 Come on now, I want TWO good boys. 1.3774 0.04861 159 110 38 11
798 Now why can't you be a good boy? 1.3774 0.04609 159 107 44 8
799 We only had one private-school voucher and, frankly, he had more potential. 1.3774 0.04942 159 111 36 12
800 oh that’s silly . . . now heel 1.3774 0.04902 159 113 33 13
801 He was here first and to be fair: he is cheaper to maintain. 1.3774 0.04609 159 107 44 8
802 That's right, son, I'm dating someone new. 1.3774 0.04861 159 110 38 11
803 Cheer up son, not everyone can be the pick of the litter. 1.3774 0.04694 159 108 42 9
804 I know you’re upset, but we were pet parents long before we were your parents 1.3774 0.04694 159 108 42 9
805 Some days you’re the dog; some days you’re the hydrant. 1.3774 0.05022 159 112 34 13
806 Just because your brother lifts his leg at the park doesn’t mean you get to too 1.3774 0.04778 159 109 40 10
807 It’s okay, you can be man’s second best friend. 1.3774 0.04342 159 104 50 5
808 The TikTok algorithm likes dog content more 1.3774 0.04861 159 110 38 11
809 Sweatheart, you’ll get the same treatment if you learn to love me unconditionally too. 1.3774 0.04942 159 111 36 12
810 honestly it was a fair swap Tommy and the pet shop will take great care of you 1.3774 0.05101 159 113 32 14
811 Because every time we buy you nice clothes, you ruin them. 1.3772 0.04544 167 113 45 9
812 It's simple, sit when I tell you too. 1.3772 0.04700 167 115 41 11
813 What makes you feel like you were adopted? 1.3772 0.04776 167 116 39 12
814 Come on, Timmy, you don't see Prince complaining about obedience, routine, and daily exercise. 1.3768 0.05265 138 96 32 10
815 OK then- it's settled. You say "potat-oh" and he says "woof." 1.3768 0.05462 138 98 28 12
816 True, you’re my son, but he’s my best friend! 1.3766 0.04705 154 104 42 8
817 Now come on, son. Tell Rex you’re sorry you ate his homework. 1.3766 0.05136 154 109 32 13
818 You're the lucky one....You don't have to go to some swanky obedience school. 1.3766 0.05136 154 109 32 13
819 Your brother isn’t teasing you, you’re not supposed to have a tail. 1.3766 0.04882 154 106 38 10
820 Be nice,I bought him this suit because he just got his balls chopped off. 1.3765 0.05182 162 117 29 16
821 Aw c'mon. Be happy for him! It's his first day at puppy school. 1.3765 0.04380 162 107 49 6
822 You're the one who said he was part of the family. 1.3758 0.04644 157 106 43 8
823 Hey, Buddy, cheer up.. he found us through Ancestry .com! 1.3758 0.04901 157 109 37 11
824 Do you see anyone else here being predatory, territorial or aggressive? 1.3758 0.04556 157 105 45 7
825 OK, he has a tail. but you have shoes. Let's call it even. 1.3758 0.05145 157 112 31 14
826 I know you really wanted that bike, Tommy, but Grover peed on it first. 1.3758 0.04901 157 109 37 11
827 He's always been a good boy. 1.3758 0.05301 157 114 27 16
828 Stop acting like the President. 1.3758 0.04984 157 110 35 12
829 Yes son, he does have your old pants on backwards 1.3758 0.05145 157 112 31 14
830 We're all getting used to home schooling. 1.3758 0.04901 157 109 37 11
831 You bit him first! 1.3758 0.04901 157 109 37 11
832 Don't worry, it's not competition. Right now he's Species Confused. 1.3758 0.05065 157 111 33 13
833 Since you outgrew it, I thought he could wear it to his obedience school graduation. 1.3758 0.05065 157 109 32 13
834 She may seem like a bitch, but you and your sister have to learn how to get along. 1.3758 0.05224 157 113 29 15
835 I told him if he promises to feed you, he can keep you. 1.3758 0.04984 157 110 35 12
836 Son, you outgrew it! 1.3758 0.04731 157 107 41 9
837 Come on little dude, let Charlie play on your baseball team. You know he can run faster than you. 1.3758 0.05224 157 113 29 15
838 Now you know he didn't intend to pee on your shoes. He was just excited to see you. 1.3758 0.05301 157 114 27 16
839 Be a good boy and fetch me a beer. 1.3758 0.04901 157 109 37 11
840 C'mon, you're gonna love obedience school! 1.3758 0.04817 157 108 39 10
841 Just go tell Mrs. Smith your sister ate your homework 1.3758 0.05065 157 111 33 13
842 Now, I want you to apologize to Rex for calling him a brown nose. 1.3758 0.05145 157 112 31 14
843 Cory, there’s no reason to be jealous! You’ll always be my only biological son. 1.3758 0.04817 157 113 31 13
844 He identifies himself as your brother, his pronouns are he/him 1.3758 0.04984 157 110 35 12
845 I guess homeschooling hasn’t been as effective for everyone this year. 1.3758 0.05065 157 111 33 13
846 It’s not that I love him more, I just loved him first. 1.3758 0.04496 165 111 46 8
847 Remember he is a lot older than you in dog years. 1.3750 0.04917 160 112 36 12
848 No, you are not a rescue boy. 1.3750 0.05212 136 94 33 9
849 He’s not like us, son. He must have inhereted only your mother’s genes 1.3750 0.04586 160 108 44 8
850 Don’t worry on the internet no one knows he’s a dog. 1.3742 0.05109 155 110 32 13
851 You will always be the pick of the litter to me. 1.3742 0.04856 155 107 38 10
852 I wish you could go to obedience school too. 1.3742 0.04681 155 109 34 11
853 And when you can dress yourself, you'll be a good boy, too. 1.3742 0.04856 155 107 38 10
854 All animals are equal, but some animals are more equal than others. That's why he gets the suit. 1.3742 0.05026 155 109 34 12
855 Boarding school isn't that bad, just look at Toby. 1.3742 0.05026 155 109 34 12
856 If anyone asks, this is your little brother, Danny... we’ll split the extra $600 60/40... Okay! 50/50! 1.3742 0.04681 155 105 42 8
857 Son, I'm not treating you like the dog. I've been treating him like a child since before you were born. 1.3741 0.05234 139 97 32 10
858 Why Yes! Rover is Daddy's pet. 1.3741 0.05234 139 97 32 10
859 Stop looking upset, apologize, and give back Charles his shoes. 1.3741 0.05031 139 95 36 8
860 But you didn’t like the suit anyway! 1.3741 0.04926 139 94 38 7
861 Tell ya what, Bub, we'll get you a nice new outfit with the next stimulus check, ok? 1.3734 0.04707 158 108 41 9
862 Of course he is your brother from another mother. 1.3734 0.05118 158 113 31 14
863 Don’t get upset, you can try on the cat’s pajamas 1.3734 0.05038 158 112 33 13
864 It's man's best friend, not boy's... 1.3731 0.05262 134 93 32 9
865 And that, Donald, is how you declare extra dependents on your taxes 1.3727 0.05124 161 116 30 15
866 Don't be jealous, who's my original good boy? 1.3727 0.04892 161 113 36 12
867 Don't worry. He's a good boy! 1.3725 0.04984 153 107 35 11
868 He had to sleep outside when he was your age too. 1.3725 0.05069 153 108 33 12
869 You should be happy he’s your older brother. It means we didn’t give up. 1.3721 0.05286 129 89 32 8
870 Yes, you’re a good boy too. 1.3720 0.04590 164 112 43 9
871 He’s only my best friend. You’re my best BOY. 1.3720 0.04590 164 112 43 9
872 Now nobody will think you're twins anymore 1.3718 0.05162 156 112 30 14
873 I'm sorry, but this is how vaccine trials go. You got the placebo, that's all. 1.3718 0.04999 156 110 34 12
874 So you'll have to share toys, but shoes? All yours. 1.3718 0.04831 156 108 38 10
875 Cut it out! ...you wouldn't wear that anyway! 1.3718 0.04567 156 105 44 7
876 Ok Billy, your sister just got her vaccine, time to get yours 1.3718 0.04916 156 109 36 11
877 Timmy, we rescued Fluffy from Brooks Brothers so he wouldn't ever have to dress like this again... 1.3704 0.05335 135 95 30 10
878 Settle down or you go to the kennel. 1.3704 0.05335 135 95 30 10
879 Obedience training will be good for you, son. Just look what it did for Sparky. 1.3701 0.05126 154 110 31 13
880 Who's a good boy? Who's a good boy? Is it you? Is it you? No, it's Cooper! 1.3701 0.05208 154 111 29 14
881 You are the one that wanted a puppy. Now walk Buster to his business meeting. 1.3701 0.05126 154 110 31 13
882 Of course he's not my favourite, Darren. Now run along or Fido will be late for his piano lesson. 1.3701 0.04871 154 107 37 10
883 You'll love Obedience School! 1.3699 0.04427 173 118 46 9
884 And that’s why you should dress for the job you want, not the job you have. 1.3699 0.04577 173 120 42 11
885 In Zoom-school, nobody knows he’s a dog 1.3694 0.05055 157 112 32 13
886 You're a great kid but he's got papers. 1.3694 0.04633 157 107 42 8
887 But he's the one who gives me unqualified love. 1.3694 0.04890 157 110 36 11
888 Yes, you still have to use the toilet! 1.3694 0.04720 157 108 40 9
889 Your only my son, but he’s man’s best friend 1.3694 0.04633 157 107 42 8
890 I hope this is a lesson to you to only ask Santa for a brother OR a puppy. 1.3694 0.04973 157 111 34 12
891 Ok, next time we'll use the indoor toilet. 1.3694 0.04890 157 110 36 11
892 Who wants a T R E A T? 1.3687 0.05064 160 115 31 14
893 Shoes? You're a riot. He doesn't need shoes, he's a dog! 1.3687 0.04826 160 112 37 11
894 You're mom's favorite. Isn't that enough? 1.3687 0.04907 160 113 35 12
895 Now.. Donald... knock it off! She's not your bitch. She's your friend. 1.3687 0.05141 160 116 29 15
896 Sorry, but he's man's best friend. 1.3684 0.05086 152 108 32 12
897 Cheer up, Billy. You have the whole summer together before he has to go back to boarding school. 1.3684 0.05171 133 92 33 8
898 Now, I need you both to stop peeing in trees. 1.3684 0.05594 133 96 25 12
899 Com'n boy, show him how you shake hands. 1.3684 0.05280 133 93 31 9
900 Maybe we both need a few more Pointers. 1.3684 0.05280 133 93 31 9
901 ... because your mother says paternity tests are too expensive. 1.3684 0.05171 152 109 30 13
902 Listen son, if your mother asks, your brother has always looked like this. 1.3677 0.05180 155 112 29 14
903 Meet your new teacher for asynchronous remote math! 1.3676 0.05602 136 99 24 13
904 Don't worry son, you wont have to walk him. He does everything himself-including our taxes. 1.3676 0.05404 136 97 28 11
905 He wants you to be his pet. 1.3676 0.05302 136 96 30 10
906 JOSH, IF YOU DON'T BEHAVE, FIDO WILL GO TO HARVARD, AND YOU WILL BE SENT TO A STATE SCHOOL! 1.3676 0.05199 136 95 32 9
907 You’re right, I should tell it to you more often, but yes, you’re a very good boy too! 1.3675 0.05509 117 81 29 7
908 Magic, huh? Now please change her back... 1.3672 0.05750 128 93 23 12
909 You know the rule. When you're housebroken, you get to pick your outfit. 1.3671 0.04696 158 109 40 9
910 I'm telling you, the clothes don't make the dog. 1.3671 0.04947 158 112 34 12
911 This one is a purebred caucasian. You know how they can be when they don't get their way. 1.3667 0.05131 150 107 31 12
912 C’mon buddy, I was hoping we wouldn’t need the leash today! 1.3667 0.04769 150 103 39 8
913 Still want a puppy? 1.3664 0.05107 131 90 34 7
914 You need to be gentle. This one is not a boxer. 1.3660 0.04885 153 107 36 10
915 You'd better behave or we're replacing you with a cat. 1.3660 0.05058 153 109 32 12
916 He'll eat the veggies off your plate that you don't like. 1.3660 0.04885 153 107 36 10
917 When your IG account gets sponsored we’ll buy you nicer clothes, too. 1.3660 0.04885 153 107 36 10
918 Why can't you be as well behaved as Piper? 1.3660 0.05058 153 109 32 12
919 It’s okay, buddy, you’re Mom’s best friend. 1.3660 0.04885 153 107 36 10
920 -"stop crying or we'll swap your dinners too" 1.3660 0.05143 153 110 30 13
921 Reginald wondered how long he could keep up the charade before the small one discovered his secret... his only hope was the low intelligence of the big one. 1.3660 0.05143 153 110 30 13
922 Well...I'm sorry, but, he was planned... 1.3660 0.05143 153 110 30 13
923 Now you know why you didn’t get a dogie treat. You need to dress up. 1.3650 0.05567 137 100 24 13
924 Just jolly him along til we get to the p-o-u-n-d. 1.3649 0.05087 148 105 32 11
925 Guess who’s adopted? 1.3649 0.04712 148 101 40 7
926 You need to apologize right now for calling your little brother "dog-face". 1.3649 0.04903 148 103 36 9
927 If your Mom can forgive me so can you. 1.3649 0.04903 148 103 36 9
928 No, really, Douglas. I told Mom I like our DOUG better. 1.3649 0.05087 148 105 32 11
929 I don't like it when you call Mommy that! 1.3649 0.05265 148 107 28 13
930 We'll get you the same outfit when you get potty-trained. 1.3649 0.04903 148 103 36 9
931 « It might not seem fair, but you have to keep your front tail covered until we get home. » Lisa H. Portland, Oregon 1.3649 0.04996 148 104 34 10
932 Well Skippy says HE called shotgun first, so... 1.3649 0.04808 148 102 38 8
933 Who’s a good boy, now ! 1.3649 0.04808 148 102 38 8
934 To be fair, when he peed on it, he thought it was his. 1.3649 0.05087 148 105 32 11
935 But Timmy, he says YOU ate his homework 1.3649 0.04996 148 104 34 10
936 Yes, you are both adopted 1.3649 0.05176 148 106 30 12
937 You can do it. little buddy. Heeling is fun! 1.3648 0.04586 159 109 42 8
938 Sure, you know ONE of you is adopted; the question remains which one? 1.3643 0.04988 140 97 35 8
939 He is 35 years old. He can stay up as late as he wants 1.3642 0.04836 151 105 37 9
940 I'm sorry but we can only afford one member of the family in privated school and it aint you sonny. 1.3631 0.05044 157 113 31 13
941 If you keep biting him, he won't want to play with you. 1.3631 0.05044 157 113 31 13
942 Son, you can’t go around showing the other kids your “tail” 1.3630 0.05039 146 103 33 10
943 Instead of eating your homework, he'll help you with it. 1.3630 0.05039 146 103 33 10
944 Of course, he got a raise in his allowance. He's the head of his class in obedience school. 1.3630 0.05223 146 105 29 12
945 No more sulking or it's the cone for you! 1.3630 0.05401 146 107 25 14
946 This year we are all taking a turn in the dog house and this week is yours. 1.3630 0.05132 146 104 31 11
947 He does tricks -- you just eat them. 1.3630 0.04773 135 91 39 5
948 Now I’d like you to shake hands and make up and then maybe roll over. 1.3630 0.04999 135 93 35 7
949 It was your mother’s idea. 1.3630 0.05321 135 96 29 10
950 No, Billy, that's not true. You are not adopted. 1.3623 0.05033 138 96 34 8
951 Just remember to step away if he lifts his hind leg. 1.3623 0.05339 138 99 28 11
952 What's the problem Billy? Remember what I told you and your brother? You have to hold my hand, or I put on your leash. 1.3621 0.05664 116 82 26 8
953 You're still Daddy's SECOND best friend! 1.3617 0.06567 94 68 18 8
954 Don't worry son, you're only fraternal twins! 1.3611 0.05179 144 103 30 11
955 He got to wear the suit today cuz he finished all his dinner last night. 1.3611 0.04987 144 101 33 9
956 Of course I love you more. That's why we dress alike. 1.3611 0.04889 144 100 36 8
957 He thinks he’s Prince George, and we just gotta let him have this one, ok? 1.3611 0.05179 144 103 30 11
958 At least he's potty-trained. 1.3611 0.05084 144 102 32 10
959 Shake, Johnny, shake. Good boy! 1.3611 0.04987 144 101 34 9
960 Those rap songs are not about his mom! 1.3611 0.04889 144 100 36 8
961 If you were a member of the British royal family, you could wear short pants too. 1.3611 0.05084 144 102 32 10
962 Don't worry, he'll never replace you. He's just another suit in this dog eat dog world. 1.3611 0.05179 144 103 30 11
963 You're not losing a father. You're gaining a best friend. 1.3611 0.04987 144 101 34 9
964 See, obedience school could work wonders for you. 1.3611 0.05179 144 103 30 11
965 You are just fraternal twins 1.3611 0.04889 144 100 36 8
966 Come on Son, get the ball 1.3611 0.05084 144 102 32 10
967 You’ll like it at doggie day care, even if there is a dress code 1.3611 0.04987 144 101 34 9
968 Ms. Devos's feasibility study says Skippy will get much more from an education than you. 1.3611 0.05084 144 102 32 10
969 Of course he got more gifts, his birthday is worth 7 of yours. 1.3611 0.05271 144 104 28 12
970 I told you. I love you both equally, even though you're different. For instance, you can talk, and he's a better dresser than you. 1.3611 0.04889 144 100 36 8
971 Don't worry; you're my second-best friend! 1.3611 0.04889 144 100 36 8
972 It’s complicated. 1.3611 0.04889 144 100 36 8
973 We could only afford to send one of you to private school. 1.3611 0.05363 144 105 26 13
974 Mommy and I love you both equally. It’s just that we have higher hopes for him. 1.3611 0.04889 144 100 36 8
975 He peed in the toilet. 1.3611 0.05179 144 103 30 11
976 You said you wanted a brother 1.3611 0.04789 144 99 38 7
977 Why are you angry, you have been asking for a brother for months? 1.3611 0.05084 144 102 32 10
978 I'm sorry Timmy, but there can only be one good boy. 1.3611 0.05271 144 104 28 12
979 See, son? Max was also homeschooled and now he’s graduating. 1.3611 0.05271 144 104 28 12
980 The sibling rivalry of karma and dogma. 1.3611 0.04789 144 99 38 7
981 Why can't you be more like your puppy? 1.3609 0.05045 133 92 34 7
982 That's a good boy! 1.3609 0.05266 133 94 30 9
983 If he has to go to church, you have to go to church. 1.3609 0.05373 133 95 28 10
984 You're adopted. 1.3609 0.05266 133 94 30 9
985 Sure he always wins at fetch, but he's also lousy at walking on two hind legs. 1.3609 0.05156 133 93 32 8
986 Last week your sister was Miss Cranky Pants and look what happened to her! 1.3609 0.05156 133 93 32 8
987 It's OK - your bark is also getting better! 1.3607 0.05342 122 85 30 7
988 It doesn’t fit you anymore. 1.3605 0.05011 147 104 33 10
989 I know it's a lovely suit, but you're too big for it now anyway. Besides, it looks better on him. 1.3605 0.04821 147 102 37 8
990 I don't know why you couldn't have picked up a new trick during quarantine too. 1.3600 0.05611 125 90 25 10
991 Listen, pandemic puppies are expensive and we can really use the extra $600, so quit whining and give your little “brother” a treat. 1.3600 0.05436 125 91 24 10
992 Nonsense! I love you both exactly the same. 1.3596 0.06826 89 65 16 8
993 Okay, big deal, you're allergic to dogs. Just because we can't keep you, doesn't mean you won't find a forever family of your own. 1.3592 0.05130 142 101 31 10
994 Your mother and I feel you'll be every bit as happy as Tuffy was at boarding school." 1.3592 0.05321 142 103 27 12
995 whatever you do, don't tell him he's adopted! 1.3592 0.04724 142 97 39 6
996 I love you both the same. 1.3592 0.05031 142 100 33 9
997 Now, now, you shouldn’t be mad at Buster for being the teacher’s pet. 1.3592 0.05226 142 102 29 11
998 C'mon, Benji. I said I'm sorry, and promise not to switch your food bowls again. 1.3592 0.05130 142 101 31 10
999 I promise, your next shirt will have a collar. 1.3592 0.04829 142 98 37 7
1000 Buddy bit you because you weren't respecting his personal space. 1.3592 0.04617 142 96 41 5
1001 You’ve outgrown it, let him wear it. 1.3592 0.05130 142 101 31 10
1002 Say it, Conner. ‘Rigel is family, not some son-of-a-you-know-what.’ 1.3592 0.05031 142 100 33 9
1003 I think you’re going to be good friends. You’re adopted, too. 1.3592 0.04931 142 99 35 8
1004 Don't be mad, Billy. When daddy gets his old job back, he can send both of you to boarding school! 1.3592 0.05226 142 102 29 11
1005 Son,you have to be tolerant of our dog identifying as your brother. 1.3592 0.05321 142 103 27 12
1006 Son, you're old enough to learn about the facts of life. You'll never grow a tail. 1.3592 0.05130 142 101 31 10
1007 Because he's a lot more obedient than you. 1.3592 0.04829 142 98 37 7
1008 It's okay, Billy. I'm sure you'll be adopted next. 1.3592 0.05505 142 105 23 14
1009 Think of it as your first lesson in diversity training. 1.3592 0.04931 142 99 35 8
1010 C' mon son, it's just one little dance. You should have seen some of the dogs you grandmother fixed me up with! 1.3592 0.05321 142 103 27 12
1011 Sorry Timmy. I meant to say that Barkley is man’s best friend, not my best friend. 1.3592 0.04724 142 97 39 6
1012 I know you’re upset, buddy, but Scruffers’ social media engagement was up 23% this week and that’s why he gets to pick where we go for dinner. 1.3592 0.05321 142 103 27 12
1013 He's top dog, but you're my little man. 1.3592 0.05031 142 100 33 9
1014 It’s just for our TikTok dance. You’ll get it back, don’t worry. 1.3592 0.05414 142 104 25 13
1015 You were born first, but he’s older. 1.3592 0.04931 142 99 35 8
1016 C’mon son, you said you wanted a puppy and I needed an accountant. 1.3592 0.04931 142 99 35 8
1017 Well, you couldn't decide - puppy or little brother. 1.3590 0.05624 117 83 26 8
1018 You might want to try being more obedient. 1.3586 0.05241 145 105 28 12
1019 No, you don't have the same mother! 1.3586 0.04862 145 101 36 8
1020 You outgrew it, Bobby. Get over it. 1.3586 0.04959 145 102 34 9
1021 We had him before you. 1.3586 0.05055 145 103 32 10
1022 And for you, there's always public school. 1.3586 0.04762 145 100 38 7
1023 We don’t love you equally. We love you accordingly. 1.3586 0.04959 145 102 34 9
1024 Look Fido, we got you a little boy to play with. 1.3586 0.05055 145 103 32 10
1025 Calm down. Your brother's bark is worse than his bite. 1.3586 0.05149 145 104 30 11
1026 Go ahead...shake. 1.3586 0.04959 145 102 34 9
1027 Well, it just so happens, he IS a son of a bitch! 1.3586 0.04660 145 99 40 6
1028 Of course I love you as much as Prince. 1.3586 0.05007 145 105 29 11
1029 His YouTube videos earn more than I! So we decided to adopt him 1.3586 0.05149 145 104 30 11
1030 Don’t worry son, your breath smells much better. 1.3586 0.05149 145 104 30 11
1031 Sorry Billy, we can only afford for one of you to go to private school. 1.3586 0.05241 145 105 28 12
1032 # "Now just because we had him first, doesn't mean we like you less." 1.3586 0.05055 145 103 32 10
1033 No, it only works when HE gives me the puppy dog eyes. 1.3582 0.05545 134 98 24 12
1034 He’s not better than you, Timmy...just better dressed. 1.3582 0.05443 134 97 26 11
1035 Are you sure you didn't eat his homework this time? 1.3582 0.05125 134 94 32 8
1036 It's OK. You can be Big Lord Fauntleroy. 1.3581 0.04498 148 105 35 8
1037 Look on the bright side. He doesn’t like mac and cheese. 1.3581 0.04599 148 101 41 6
1038 BECAUSE HE'S OLDER, THAT'S WHY 1.3581 0.04795 148 103 37 8
1039 No Chester, you’re only fraternal twins. 1.3581 0.04698 148 102 39 7
1040 It was at this very moment, locked away in his subconscious, that Johnny realized his parents were a little different 1.3577 0.05552 123 88 26 9
1041 You've got to admit that he's more fashion conscious. 1.3577 0.05256 137 98 29 10
1042 But it’s not your turn to be President. 1.3577 0.05457 137 100 25 12
1043 No, he's not a sissy. He's just well-bred. 1.3571 0.04974 140 98 34 8
1044 Why can’t you be more like Endicott? 1.3571 0.04974 140 98 34 8
1045 I know... but they really don't fit you any more. 1.3571 0.04974 140 98 34 8
1046 What do you care? You know you've outgrown that suit. 1.3571 0.04974 140 98 34 8
1047 He just has a better pedigree.. 1.3571 0.04974 140 98 34 8
1048 Stop fighting it Chip, he got an A in Obedience. 1.3571 0.04869 140 97 36 7
1049 You can’t call her that, she’s your sister. 1.3571 0.05076 140 99 32 9
1050 But you too are a good boy! 1.3571 0.05176 140 100 30 10
1051 He can't even HAVE chocolate 1.3571 0.04869 140 97 36 7
1052 Billy, this was the closest they had to Stuart Little 1.3571 0.05176 140 100 30 10
1053 It's not so bad. You at least have opposable thumbs. 1.3571 0.05076 140 99 32 9
1054 I don't know why you're so jealous. You're both adopted. 1.3571 0.05176 140 100 30 10
1055 Just one Instagram post for mommy and that's it. I promise. 1.3571 0.04763 140 96 38 6
1056 He is MY therapy dog, and you can't touch him! 1.3571 0.05098 126 87 33 6
1057 He sits, stays and begs - what do you do? 1.3571 0.05176 140 100 30 10
1058 Obedience school will be great for you also. 1.3571 0.05176 140 100 30 10
1059 You always said that you wanted a dog. 1.3571 0.05371 140 102 26 12
1060 You're not upset because I named him Edward Junior, are you Rex? 1.3571 0.05275 140 101 28 11
1061 But Mom and I DID get you a dog. 1.3571 0.04869 140 97 36 7
1062 Well he’s doing it, and he was raised by wolves. 1.3571 0.04869 140 97 36 7
1063 Billy, just throw the ball and say "fetch!" You'll get it back. 1.3571 0.04763 140 96 38 6
1064 I’m sorry Timmy, but we can only afford to send one of you to boarding school. 1.3571 0.05275 140 101 28 11
1065 I knew we should have stopped after one. 1.3571 0.05076 140 99 32 9
1066 Oh great, another totally untrained Therapy Boy. 1.3571 0.05176 140 100 30 10
1067 When you're an adult, and April 15th rolls around, you'll want as many dependents as you can get. 1.3571 0.04974 140 98 34 8
1068 The teacher’s pet did not eat your homework. 1.3566 0.05100 143 102 31 10
1069 No you're still my favorite, Lucky just got accepted at a better school than you did. 1.3566 0.05195 143 102 29 11
1070 You can have your dog back as soon as we finish this TikTok! 1.3566 0.05289 143 104 27 12
1071 I don’t know why you think I love him more...I love all dogs more. 1.3566 0.04903 143 100 35 8
1072 No, Timmy, for the last time this isn’t your sister after getting the vaccine. 1.3565 0.06075 115 85 19 11
1073 I still love you son, but your Dad can only have one best friend. 1.3562 0.04464 160 110 43 7
1074 I don’t play favorites, he just brought me more joy in 2020. 1.3562 0.05026 146 104 32 10
1075 He didn't eat his own homework. 1.3561 0.05060 132 92 33 7
1076 You’re good enough, smart enough, and doggone it, people like you. 1.3561 0.05498 132 96 25 11
1077 This is who you'll be competing against for my love and attention. 1.3559 0.05584 118 84 26 8
1078 Sharing is caring, Billy. Look how cute he looks in your clothes!” 1.3556 0.05201 135 96 30 9
1079 Life lesson 1: It’s a dog’s world! 1.3556 0.05201 135 96 30 9
1080 Now, lick and make up. 1.3556 0.04984 135 94 34 7
1081 Have you ever won me five grand? 1.3551 0.05224 138 99 29 10
1082 You're so lucky. He was the last one left in the pet shop. 1.3551 0.05018 138 97 33 8
1083 Jimmy, I know that Ranger got to poop in the grass, but you have to wait until we get home. 1.3551 0.05325 138 100 27 11
1084 Perhaps not the sibling you envisioned, but he will grow on you. 1.3551 0.05325 138 100 27 11
1085 Oh, come on Billy... He may be cuter than you, smarter than you and dressed better than you, but YOU'RE still my son. 1.3551 0.04802 138 95 37 6
1086 He passed obedience school. You didn't, so he gets the suit. 1.3551 0.04577 138 93 41 4
1087 Come on son, be a good sport. You never liked that suit anyway. 1.3551 0.05122 138 98 31 9
1088 We will buy you another suit ,ok ? 1.3551 0.05122 138 98 31 9
1089 We love both of you equally. But it's just that your brother gets us more likes on social media. 1.3551 0.05122 138 98 31 9
1090 No Donnie, we're not counting the sticks again. Rags won fair and square. 1.3551 0.05122 138 98 31 9
1091 Don't tell your mother but I accidently left your brother at the dog shelter and took fido by mistake. 1.3551 0.05224 138 99 29 10
1092 C’mon now - let’s shake and make up. There’s no way this good little boy is the one who stole your ball. 1.3551 0.05122 138 98 31 9
1093 Fluffy didn’t mean to bite you. Next time be sure to use their chosen personal pronoun. 1.3551 0.05018 138 97 33 8
1094 C'mon. You know you've outgrown it. 1.3551 0.05224 138 99 29 10
1095 Unacceptable Donald. Sparky is right. Never bite the hand that feeds you. 1.3551 0.05122 138 98 31 9
1096 Listen son, Mom tried for a baby brother for you, but this is the best she could do. 1.3551 0.05018 138 97 33 8
1097 No, Richie, this is a Dachshund, not a Chihuahua. Please stop stamping your feet and shouting about building a wall. 1.3551 0.05423 138 101 25 12
1098 What say we go the park only this time you get to chase the squirrels. 1.3551 0.05018 138 97 33 8
1099 Now tell him your sorry you ate his treat. 1.3551 0.05122 138 98 31 9
1100 OK, So, maybe, he is the Alpha Male, but, he can’t eat chocolate! 1.3551 0.05423 138 101 25 12
1101 Don't feel bad. To me you're all best in show 1.3551 0.05122 138 98 31 9
1102 We've been over this. He gets your clothes, you sleep in his basket. 1.3551 0.05325 138 100 27 11
1103 Don’t worry, a Mormon Mission is only a few months in dog years, he’ll be back before you know it. 1.3551 0.05224 138 99 29 10
1104 Donald I told you many times. The count is over and Joe is now our favorite. 1.3551 0.05224 138 99 29 10
1105 ‘Listen Jimmy, he shits on the floor because he’s a dog. You do it out of sheer defiance’ 1.3551 0.05224 138 99 29 10
1106 Why cant you be more like your brother? He’s a good boy. 1.3548 0.06422 93 67 19 7
1107 Yes, but you've got some nice new shoes 1.3546 0.04945 141 99 34 8
1108 He EARNED those clothes. 1.3546 0.05146 141 101 30 10
1109 Your brothers adopted. 1.3546 0.05146 141 101 30 10
1110 Because when I ask him to fetch something, he does. 1.3546 0.05526 141 105 22 14
1111 Did you eat your brother’s homework? 1.3546 0.04945 141 99 34 8
1112 No, I said tutored. 1.3546 0.05243 141 102 28 11
1113 He just wants you to apologize for saying he was adopted. 1.3546 0.05243 141 102 28 11
1114 It’s just not fair, he’s had like 4 birthdays this year!! 1.3546 0.04517 141 95 42 4
1115 Who's a good boy? Who's a good boy now 1.3546 0.04945 141 99 34 8
1116 Remember, Bobby: Always dress for the treat you want, not for the treat you have. 1.3546 0.04945 141 99 34 8
1117 C'mon Timmy, you'll love the dog park. You got to choose last week! 1.3546 0.04627 141 96 40 5
1118 Clearly, he paid more attention to my ‘be a good boy’ this year. 1.3546 0.04517 141 95 42 4
1119 Hey, look at the big picture, you are likely to outlive him by 70 years. 1.3538 0.04988 130 90 34 6
1120 Now, now Bobby—I'm sure that when Bingo said 'who's a bitch now?', he meant it as a compliment. 1.3538 0.05106 130 91 32 7
1121 I know you don't like to share your stuff, but you have to admit he wears it better than you do. 1.3538 0.05106 130 91 32 7
1122 Just because he's not wearing his mask, doesn't mean you don't have to. 1.3534 0.05140 133 94 31 8
1123 My matchmaker said walking a dog and a child would increase my odds...Now let’s go! 1.3529 0.05063 136 96 32 8
1124 And when you're a good boy, you can wear the suit. 1.3525 0.04988 139 98 33 8
1125 Sure he beat you. He is a Boxer. 1.3525 0.04882 139 97 35 7
1126 You know I love the two of you just the same. 1.3525 0.05193 139 100 29 10
1127 Believe me, son, you don't want to get neutered, too. 1.3525 0.05486 139 103 23 13
1128 Play nice with your brother, even though he is a son of a bitch. 1.3525 0.05292 139 101 27 11
1129 Just this once, you be the one to go fetch the stick. 1.3525 0.04664 139 95 39 5
1130 C'mon, just tap dance with him for one minute so I can put it on Tik Tok. 1.3525 0.04774 139 96 37 6
1131 When are you going to be more like your brother? 1.3525 0.05092 139 99 31 9
1132 Cheer up. You’re my second-best friend. 1.3525 0.04988 139 98 33 8
1133 If your mother wasn't such a bitch, you'd have a normal brother. 1.3525 0.05292 139 101 27 11
1134 Don’t pout. Your life expectancy is seven times what his is. 1.3525 0.05390 139 102 25 12
1135 Please Brian, act Normal. We need this sibling discount to work. " 1.3525 0.05092 139 99 31 9
1136 He’s so well behaved. There’s no way he ate your homework. 1.3525 0.04988 139 98 33 8
1137 Well, he's a little gentleman and you're not. 1.3525 0.04988 139 98 33 8
1138 We talked about this yesterday buddy. He doesn't need to wear shoes but you can take yours off as soon as we get home. 1.3525 0.05193 139 100 29 10
1139 He's sorry he forgot it was casual Friday. 1.3525 0.04882 139 97 35 7
1140 We enrolled him in finishing day care. 1.3525 0.05092 139 99 31 9
1141 Ruff aced his obedience school exam so mommy and I decided to let you go. 1.3525 0.05390 139 102 25 12
1142 Don't make me put your leash on! 1.3525 0.05092 139 99 31 9
1143 You weren’t wearing it and it’s Rover’s first day at obedience School. 1.3525 0.04882 139 97 35 7
1144 Well, if you’re good, you can wear the “good boy” suit. 1.3525 0.05092 139 99 31 9
1145 Honey,it was a joke! Of course I don't think mommy's a b****. 1.3525 0.05390 139 102 25 12
1146 Hey buddy - second best friend is still really good! 1.3525 0.05092 139 99 31 9
1147 You'll like obedience school. Just ask your sister. 1.3525 0.05193 139 100 29 10
1148 Come on now, be my emotional support child. 1.3525 0.05092 139 99 31 9
1149 It’s alright, we’ll practice the trick again tomorrow and maybe you can get a treat too. 1.3525 0.05092 139 99 31 9
1150 I'll tell you wha. Next time you can eat his homework. 1.3525 0.04882 139 97 35 7
1151 What's with the 2020 attitude? 1.3525 0.05142 139 102 26 11
1152 Cheer up,Charlie. I told you this would happen when you quit piano lessons in the first place. 1.3525 0.04551 139 94 41 4
1153 I know, he’s always overdressed for these things. 1.3525 0.05092 139 99 31 9
1154 Don't worry kid, you are a good boy too. Just not that good. 1.3525 0.04882 139 97 35 7
1155 He's just more suited to the pedagogy of a private school education. 1.3525 0.05486 139 103 23 13
1156 When you get your anger management issues under control you'll get to wear cute outfits too. 1.3525 0.05092 139 99 31 9
1157 Billy,please stop telling your brother babies don’t come from the rescue shelter. 1.3525 0.04988 139 98 33 8
1158 Oh, come on. You outgrew it last year. 1.3525 0.05092 139 99 31 9
1159 Okay, we’ll switch names. You can be Rodney and he’ll be Fido. 1.3525 0.04774 139 96 37 6
1160 Sorry son, dog is man's best friend. 1.3525 0.04882 139 97 35 7
1161 Timmy, it’s my job to be your parent—not your best friend. 1.3525 0.05092 139 99 31 9
1162 “Why can’t you be more like your brother? See, he’s so well behaved” 1.3525 0.05092 139 99 31 9
1163 We even got you a classmate while you learn from home! 1.3525 0.05092 139 99 31 9
1164 Hey, buddy, he already apologized for calling you "adopted." 1.3525 0.05092 139 99 31 9
1165 I asked you to attend obedience school. 1.3525 0.04774 139 96 37 6
1166 It looks like someone else also had a “ruff” day. 1.3525 0.05390 139 102 25 12
1167 You have to be more specific Billy, Daisy didn't know you wanted to play football when you told her to suit up 1.3525 0.05193 139 100 29 10
1168 see all the good that obedience school did for coco 1.3525 0.04882 139 97 35 7
1169 There's no shame in being man's second best friend. 1.3525 0.04988 139 98 33 8
1170 I'm sorry, but the dog makes more money on the internet. 1.3525 0.04882 139 97 35 7
1171 There there; now be a good boy like your brother. 1.3525 0.04882 139 97 35 7
1172 Try to behave at nursery today, or we'll be taking you to see Dr Pavlov too 1.3525 0.05292 139 101 27 11
1173 Time for your walks! Daddy’s got 5 more Zooms today 1.3525 0.05292 139 101 27 11
1174 You're a good boy. It's just that Rudy is WAY better. 1.3525 0.04988 139 98 33 8
1175 Which one of you shit on the carpet? 1.3525 0.05486 139 103 23 13
1176 You’re a good boy, you really are. You’re just not the goodest boy 1.3525 0.05092 139 99 31 9
1177 He’s got four A levels, Simon! 1.3525 0.04882 139 97 35 7
1178 No, you cannot play "go fetch". 1.3517 0.04646 145 100 39 6
1179 Look, if you were known as "man's best friend," then I would like you more. 1.3517 0.05228 145 106 27 12
1180 I'm sorry, but we have to re-home you. 1.3507 0.05217 134 96 29 9
1181 Don't take it personally Russell. 'Good boy' is something you just say automatically to dogs. 1.3507 0.04998 134 94 33 7
1182 You had four years to be my son, Donald. It’s Buddy’s turn now, ok? 1.3507 0.05324 134 97 27 10
1183 Because when he does it, it's cute. 1.3507 0.04884 134 93 35 6
1184 Remember, a deal is a deal. He wears your clothes today and tomorrow you poop in the park. 1.3504 0.05032 137 97 32 8
1185 Come on Johnny, Precious is just the name he came with from the shelter. 1.3504 0.05241 137 99 28 10
1186 Fuss all you want; his PSAT scores were better than your's, too. 1.3500 0.05507 120 86 26 8
1187 When I said he was a member of the family, I meant it. 1.3500 0.05378 120 85 28 7
1188 Well, it is your turn to fetch the ball.... 1.3490 0.04658 149 104 38 7
1189 If Rover can learn to be a good boy, I'm sure you can, too. 1.3490 0.04849 149 106 34 9
1190 Badly dressed, misbehaved… My humans are an embarrassment… 1.3488 0.05574 129 95 23 11
1191 Now Jimmy, Sparky got a scholarship and you didn't. You'll like public school. 1.3485 0.05156 132 94 30 8
1192 Come on Son, who is really to blame when a pointing finger gets bit? 1.3485 0.04927 132 92 34 6
1193 Don't feel bad, Liam, I know everyone says Vincent got mommy's looks but you have her personality. 1.3485 0.05156 132 94 30 8
1194 He doesn’t ask questions. 1.3485 0.05267 132 95 28 9
1195 Having different fire hydrant privileges doesn't mean I don't love you both. 1.3485 0.05043 132 93 32 7
1196 Henry, it’s not nice to call your sister a bitch. 1.3485 0.05156 132 94 30 8
1197 You can wear the suit next week. 1.3485 0.05156 132 94 30 8
1198 Don’t call your stepmother that. 1.3485 0.05156 132 94 30 8
1199 Be nice to your brother, Jimmy. He’s a pure breed. 1.3485 0.05376 132 96 26 10
1200 Ok, so the in vitro didn't exactly work, but your mother and I still love both of you. 1.3485 0.05267 132 95 28 9
1201 Cheer up! At least you're not the middle child. 1.3485 0.05043 132 93 32 7
1202 This IS the new normal 1.3485 0.04927 132 92 34 6
1203 cheer up bud, all you gotta do is start listening 1.3485 0.05212 132 97 25 10
1204 I am sorry but I couldn't afford to send both of you to Training Camp ! 1.3481 0.05394 135 99 25 11
1205 Look my dear, no need to be anxious, the vaccine is perfectly safe.. Back in our days, your mom and I got it and look how nice your baby brother turned out. 1.3478 0.05107 138 99 30 9
1206 I know you miss your friends, but meet Rover! He's just as desperate as you are for human contact and at least he can't give you Covid 1.3475 0.05565 118 85 25 8
1207 Hey,buddy... he was easier to train. 1.3471 0.05341 121 86 28 7
1208 What can I say? Your mother was a bitch. 1.3462 0.05429 130 95 25 10
1209 Jealousy is normal, Timmy. But be glad you got the recessive genes. 1.3462 0.05204 130 93 29 8
1210 And you expect me to believe that he pooped in the garden? 1.3459 0.05124 133 95 30 8
1211 No more bunking with Cooper here. We built you a nice little house in the backyard. 1.3451 0.05299 113 79 29 5
1212 Yes, he dresses himself, but you were standing upright way before him 1.3451 0.05865 113 83 21 9
1213 Gimme your paw...there’s a good boy! 1.3451 0.05999 113 84 19 10
1214 Don’t be upset, Fido is an influencer and pays our bills. 1.3451 0.05589 113 81 25 7
1215 He identifies as your little brother 1.3451 0.05148 113 78 31 4
1216 Son, every dog has its day. 1.3448 0.05757 116 85 22 9
1217 I do not have favorites,you are my boy and he is my champion. 1.3445 0.05778 119 88 21 10
1218 I've done it! I've proven that school uniforms promote good behavior. 1.3440 0.05218 125 89 29 7
1219 Now, Joey, being the only “real” boy in obedience school isn’t a bad thing—it actually gives you an edge. 1.3440 0.05341 125 90 27 8
1220 It's a step up from Stuart Little 1.3438 0.05136 128 91 30 7
1221 He’s the only friend you have right now. 1.3438 0.05136 128 91 30 7
1222 We are going walkies with your brother, little Lord Fauntleroy. 1.3435 0.05394 131 96 25 10
1223 Hey, don’t be mad. He may be man’s best friend, but you’re still my son." 1.3435 0.05171 131 94 29 8
1224 He ain't Havanese, he's your brother. 1.3435 0.05501 131 97 23 11
1225 Come on, Tommy. Don't be angry. I am only your trainer, not your dad. 1.3433 0.05092 134 96 30 8
1226 Yes Spencer, it's true, our Mr. Boswell edged you out for that preschool spot. But be the bigger man here, O.K.? Spencer? 1.3421 0.04957 114 78 33 3
1227 I do not like him best! 1.3421 0.04769 152 109 34 9
1228 Can you follow his example and be a good boy too? 1.3419 0.05715 117 86 22 9
1229 Start behaving like a good boy and you can live inside too. 1.3419 0.05842 117 87 20 10
1230 You’ll understand one day when you have children. 1.3419 0.05584 117 85 24 8
1231 Son it’s time you accepted he’s Puritan. 1.3417 0.05613 120 88 23 9
1232 Ok Sam, meet your new neighbour, Buster Brown. 1.3417 0.05225 120 85 29 6
1233 Play nice, Billy, safe play dates are hard to find these days. 1.3411 0.05103 129 92 30 7
1234 Now, Timmy, I want you to tell Max you're sorry you teased him about being adopted. 1.3411 0.05335 129 94 26 9
1235 C'm on, you wouldn't know what to do with a bone ..! 1.3411 0.05103 129 92 30 7
1236 You can pee on the fire hydrant next time. 1.3411 0.05103 129 92 30 7
1237 You'll get a treat too when YOU learn to poop outside. 1.3411 0.05220 129 93 28 8
1238 When covid is over we will get you real friends. 1.3411 0.05335 129 94 26 9
1239 Well, he simply is a better boy than you. 1.3411 0.05447 129 95 24 10
1240 He's your new tutor. 1.3411 0.05220 129 93 28 8
1241 Yes, he gets lots of attention, but you've got taco Tuesdays and opposable thumbs. 1.3411 0.04733 129 89 36 4
1242 Don’t be ridiculous, Tommy, I love both of you equally. 1.3411 0.05447 129 95 24 10
1243 It's not Loki's fault that his school is open and yours is still closed. 1.3411 0.05103 129 92 30 7
1244 You KNOW it embarrasses Fido when you try to chase squirrels during our walks. 1.3411 0.05220 129 93 28 8
1245 He's just like you, just cuter 1.3411 0.04859 129 90 34 5
1246 I don’t care who it was that chewed through my shoes but I’ll need an apology from each of you. 1.3411 0.04983 129 91 32 6
1247 Now Daddy is going to dress you up like a dog and post the whole thing on social media. 1.3409 0.05139 132 95 29 8
1248 You are BOTH my best friends. 1.3409 0.04667 132 91 37 4
1249 'I SAID, "Sit!!!"' 1.3409 0.05250 132 96 27 9
1250 And who else has been a good boy!? 1.3409 0.05139 132 95 29 8
1251 Time for you to stand on your own two feet, too! 1.3409 0.06236 88 63 20 5
1252 We know you wanted a little brother so we compromised and taught the dog to walk. 1.3409 0.05250 132 96 27 9
1253 Next time I ask, ‘Who’s a good boy,’ maybe it will be you. 1.3409 0.04908 132 93 33 6
1254 Careful. Dog is watching you. 1.3409 0.05250 132 96 27 9
1255 Charlie bit me! 1.3409 0.05250 132 96 27 9
1256 ...and he's a snappier dresser. 1.3409 0.05250 132 96 27 9
1257 It's what you wanted. A little dog who could be a member of the family 1.3409 0.05359 132 97 25 10
1258 Your mother and I have decided to finally tell you: You're adopted. 1.3409 0.05359 132 97 25 10
1259 Of course you’re my favorite child! 1.3409 0.05025 132 94 31 7
1260 I’m NOT wearing a leash if he’s not’ 1.3409 0.05359 132 97 25 10
1261 It was at that precise moment George realised he was no longer ‘top dog’ of the family . 1.3409 0.05025 132 94 31 7
1262 See, son?The new vaccine is totally safe! Don’t be scared! 1.3409 0.05250 132 96 27 9
1263 son, please respect your brother's decision to be transspecie 1.3409 0.05025 132 94 31 7
1264 That charter canine obedience school truly exceeded my expectations ... just sayin' ... 1.3394 0.05564 109 78 25 6
1265 Yes, Sam, Jessie is cute and clever, but you will always have your White privilege. 1.3394 0.05861 109 80 21 8
1266 I thought I had two very good boys, but unless you change your attitude, I think it might just be one. 1.3393 0.05314 112 79 28 5
1267 Just remember that YOU wanted a puppy. 1.3393 0.05314 112 79 28 5
1268 Come on Jake, it’s time to go to your brother’s Obedience School graduation. Aren’t you so proud of our valedictorian! 1.3393 0.05750 112 82 22 8
1269 Hey little buddy, it's your turn to take him on his business trip." 1.3393 0.05750 112 82 22 8
1270 The nice pants are only for those fully potty trained. 1.3393 0.05463 112 80 26 6
1271 Well he's the older one because we count in dog years. 1.3393 0.05463 112 80 26 6
1272 That's how they dress in Germany. 1.3390 0.05544 118 86 24 8
1273 You'll have a suit like that when it's time for YOUR dog mitzvah. 1.3386 0.05027 127 90 31 6
1274 Listen, Tommy. One of us has to be the adult here and it might as well be Poochy. 1.3386 0.05027 127 90 31 6
1275 C’mon...during the pandemic we’ve come to love him as a son. 1.3385 0.05411 130 96 24 10
1276 Hey it's OK - You both hate cats. 1.3385 0.04951 130 92 32 6
1277 Oh, come now! I think you’re a good boy, too. 1.3385 0.05186 130 94 28 8
1278 You need to show respect. In dog years he's old enough to be your father. 1.3385 0.05300 130 95 26 9
1279 Look at this way, Charlie. He’ll have to wear your hand-me-downs but you’ll never have to wear any of his. 1.3385 0.04951 130 92 32 6
1280 You are my son, but he is such a good boy 1.3385 0.05411 130 96 24 10
1281 He’s putting on the dog today. 1.3385 0.05300 130 95 26 9
1282 Not just yet, but once you turn 5 next year you'll be smarter than he is! 1.3385 0.05300 130 95 26 9
1283 If you want to be treated like Skippy, listen like Skippy. 1.3385 0.04951 130 92 32 6
1284 I know you were hoping for a baby brother but adopting dogs was in this year 1.3385 0.05520 130 97 22 11
1285 How many times do I have to tell you not to bite your brother? 1.3385 0.05300 130 95 26 9
1286 I know it seems unfair since we let your brother do it, but little boys just aren’t allowed to do their business on the sidewalk. 1.3385 0.05070 130 93 30 7
1287 Now Timmy, you apologize for saying he still looks like a mutt. 1.3385 0.05300 130 95 26 9
1288 But Tommy--look what Obedience Class did for Bowser. 1.3385 0.05070 130 93 30 7
1289 He's well-trained. What's your excuse? 1.3385 0.05300 130 95 26 9
1290 If you wanted to go to the park, all you had to do was ask! 1.3385 0.05129 130 94 25 8
1291 It looked just as nice on you as it does on him. 1.3385 0.05300 130 95 26 9
1292 One sniff and you’re friends forever 1.3385 0.05070 130 93 30 7
1293 But son, once you’re a man, he’ll be your best friend. 1.3385 0.05070 130 93 30 7
1294 Because he evolved while we were home with him during the pandemic. 1.3385 0.05186 130 94 28 8
1295 I couldn't get you a sister but this dog identifies itself as a girl 1.3385 0.04951 130 92 32 6
1296 Don’t worry, someday you’ll get to eat his homework too. 1.3385 0.05070 130 93 30 7
1297 ‘He’s just my best friend’ 1.3385 0.05186 130 94 28 8
1298 I am sorry you feel that way , but he is really my best friend . 1.3364 0.05957 110 82 19 9
1299 Just ignore him if he keeps hounding you. 1.3364 0.05211 110 77 29 4
1300 Just remember he is still not as smart as a CROW. 1.3364 0.05368 110 78 27 5
1301 Well, when you're a dog, Timmy, you won't have to do algebra either. 1.3364 0.05816 110 81 21 8
1302 Don't be so stingy, Tommy. The suit's too small for you now anyway. In return, Rover said you can use his water bowl anytime. 1.3364 0.05671 110 80 23 7
1303 I'm not sure who took whose homework, but I need the two of you to work this out. 1.3364 0.05816 110 81 21 8
1304 It’s not my fault you’re just an okay boy 1.3364 0.05368 110 78 27 5
1305 Alex wants to be a good boy, doesn't he--yes, he does! 1.3363 0.05567 113 82 24 7
1306 Be nice, now. Spot just wants to take you for a walk. 1.3363 0.05707 113 83 22 8
1307 Meet your new caregiver,she has 70 years of experience working with kids. She will help you with your online classes and take you for walks during recess. 1.3363 0.05707 113 83 22 8
1308 Don't worry, son. He won't be able to learn any new tricks in a few years. 1.3363 0.05423 113 81 26 6
1309 I don't expect you to roll over but you could at least shake. 1.3360 0.05441 125 92 24 9
1310 But dogs don't need shoes, Jimmy. And just a warning: next week he won't be wearing pants either. 1.3360 0.05441 125 92 24 9
1311 No, Billy, people use fire hydrants for other things. 1.3360 0.05199 125 90 28 7
1312 Even after his father reassured him Billy still wasn’t sure Theodore was the adopted one 1.3360 0.04944 125 88 32 5
1313 Now Timmy, you know you can’t make Fauntleroy eat your homework if he just had lunch. 1.3360 0.05073 125 89 30 6
1314 Don't worry, your not going to grow a tail ! 1.3360 0.05441 125 92 24 9
1315 Having a baby as practise for a puppy definitely paid off. 1.3360 0.05321 125 91 26 8
1316 I know you're hungry, Andrew, but Basker's been a good dog. You've got to give up that treat. 1.3360 0.05558 125 93 22 10
1317 When you are 49 in dog years you'll get a suit too, son. 1.3360 0.05321 125 91 26 8
1318 Why can’t you be more like your brother, Bobby? 1.3360 0.05199 125 90 28 7
1319 Well, you refused to wear it, so now it's Tiko's. 1.3360 0.05441 125 92 24 9
1320 Cheer up, Daddy found a replacement to take over those awful violin lessons you hate. 1.3360 0.05199 125 90 28 7
1321 You will always have my DNA. 1.3360 0.05199 125 90 28 7
1322 Don't beg. 1.3360 0.04812 125 87 34 4
1323 I know, but it's the greeting he prefers. 1.3360 0.05321 125 91 26 8
1324 Aren't you glad mommy picks out your clothes 1.3360 0.05073 125 89 30 6
1325 Donald, maybe Santa will bring you a Lagerfeld suit NEXT Christmas. 1.3360 0.04812 125 87 34 4
1326 you outgrew it, you gave it to him, so deal with it. 1.3360 0.05199 125 90 28 7
1327 Good boy! Good boy! 1.3360 0.05321 125 91 26 8
1328 Don't think of it as losing a puppy, champ. Think of it as gaining a brother! 1.3360 0.05441 125 92 24 9
1329 When you learn to obey my commands you can have a nice suit too! 1.3360 0.05321 125 91 26 8
1330 Behave, like your brother, and you’ll get a treat! 1.3360 0.05558 125 93 22 10
1331 Sorry, Timmy, Versace only comes in his size. 1.3360 0.05673 125 94 20 11
1332 Who's a good boy? Yes, you are. 1.3360 0.05073 125 89 30 6
1333 What did you expect when you asked for a puppy brother? 1.3360 0.05441 125 92 24 9
1334 And one day you could grow up to be a good boy. 1.3360 0.04944 125 88 32 5
1335 You can get mad when you start fetching my slippers 1.3360 0.05199 125 90 28 7
1336 Don’t worry, Candice Bergen was in a similar situation and she got over it. 1.3360 0.05441 125 92 24 9
1337 I’ve told you son, it won’t be robots replacing us. 1.3360 0.05073 125 89 30 6
1338 Son, when you learn to behave like Skippy, we'll buy you fancy clothes too. 1.3360 0.05558 125 93 22 10
1339 ‘It’s called pedigree, Tommy.’ 1.3360 0.05073 125 89 30 6
1340 Who’s my second-best boy? Who’s my second-best boy? It’s you, Wally! Yes, it’s you, Wally! Good second-best Wally! 1.3333 0.05496 123 91 23 9
1341 Aw, being the teacher's pet isn't everything little buddy. 1.3333 0.04421 123 88 31 4
1342 Play nice. His bite is worse than his bark. 1.3333 0.04988 123 87 31 5
1343 When you finish obedience school, you can wear a suit too. 1.3333 0.05120 123 88 29 6
1344 He takes after Mom’s side of the family. 1.3333 0.05248 123 89 27 7
1345 And guess who's going to obedience school next if he doesn't behave himself. 1.3333 0.04988 123 87 31 5
1346 Before your mommy, I had another wife. 1.3333 0.05734 123 93 19 11
1347 Come on, Billy, be nice. One day he might be your best friend. 1.3333 0.05095 108 75 30 3
1348 Who's the second best boy in the world? 1.3333 0.05734 123 93 19 11
1349 If you don't behave I will make you wear a suit too! 1.3333 0.05120 123 88 29 6
1350 Don’t be upset, pal, man’s best friend is just an expression. 1.3333 0.04852 123 86 33 4
1351 Timmy could accept Buddy being allowed on the couch, but this was getting out of hand. 1.3333 0.05285 126 92 26 8
1352 Just give me your damn paw! 1.3333 0.05374 123 90 25 8
1353 We thought you'd be pleased-you get all of Mr Buttons balls and frisbees, and he gets the clothes that Grandma gets you. It's a win-win. 1.3333 0.05424 108 77 26 5
1354 Peter, did you dig a hole in the yard again? 1.3333 0.05374 123 90 25 8
1355 Son,it's called diversity and inclusion 1.3333 0.05616 123 92 21 10
1356 Don't be upset. He is a show dog. 1.3333 0.05248 123 89 27 7
1357 Don’t make me get the leash out! 1.3333 0.05374 123 88 25 8
1358 Next year, you can be best of show. 1.3333 0.05496 123 91 23 9
1359 Yes, Timmy, he’s adopted. But we love you both the same. 1.3333 0.05248 123 89 27 7
1360 And now you'll have a friend in obedience school! 1.3333 0.05120 123 88 29 6
1361 I've always wanted a son who obeys me. 1.3333 0.05496 123 91 23 9
1362 I think it’s nice that he wants to risk spoiling his suit by playing fetch with you!” 1.3333 0.05734 108 79 22 7
1363 Don’t worry, I definitely love you more than the cat. 1.3333 0.04713 123 85 35 3
1364 Meet your emotional deterrent animal. 1.3333 0.05248 123 89 27 7
1365 Don’t worry, in a few dog years you’ll be an only child. 1.3333 0.05616 123 92 21 10
1366 No fire hydrants. 1.3333 0.05466 120 88 24 8
1367 I’m sorry, but you’re going to have to give him your shoes. 1.3333 0.05120 123 88 29 6
1368 Time for our walkies. 1.3333 0.05291 117 84 27 6
1369 Come on. Show him we are the superior animal. 1.3333 0.05120 123 88 29 6
1370 Just because he's my best friend doesn't mean I don't love you. 1.3333 0.05801 102 74 22 6
1371 Stop complaining. Mr. Woof wanted to wear the striped sweater but he's not complaining. 1.3333 0.05581 108 78 24 6
1372 Your mommy and I will still always love each other. 1.3333 0.05248 123 89 27 7
1373 On the other hand, obedience isn’t for everyone. 1.3333 0.04988 123 87 31 5
1374 Be happy for him, obedience school is open. 1.3333 0.05374 123 90 25 8
1375 You're my second best friend Billy. 1.3333 0.05248 123 89 27 7
1376 Well, Timmy, if you barked like Mr. Fluffy to go outside when you needed to use the restroom instead of going in your pants, you could wear a spiffy short suit too. 1.3333 0.05496 123 91 23 9
1377 I know you wanted a cat, but it wouldn’t wear the suit! 1.3333 0.05374 123 90 25 8
1378 We train our pets and indulge our children. 1.3333 0.05734 108 79 22 7
1379 It’s only funny when he says it. 1.3333 0.04496 123 91 26 6
1380 No, of course mummy and daddy don't have a favorite.. 1.3333 0.04570 123 84 37 2
1381 Now, now, William it's $600 per child. And besides Rudy has always been like a son to us. Now it's official. 1.3333 0.05262 108 76 28 4
1382 Why don’t you try being more like your brother, he listens... 1.3333 0.05248 123 89 27 7
1383 Meet your new stepbrother. 1.3333 0.05374 123 90 25 8
1384 Did I mention you’re both adopted? 1.3333 0.05248 123 89 27 7
1385 It’s not that we don’t love you Max, it’s just that Ralphy’s much lower maintenance.. 1.3333 0.05120 123 88 29 6
1386 You guys will each have your own rooms. 1.3333 0.05248 123 89 27 7
1387 The outfit doesn’t fit you anymore, so I didn’t think you’d mind. 1.3333 0.05374 123 90 25 8
1388 Sparky's been walking since he was 4 weeks. What's your excuse? 1.3308 0.05198 133 98 26 9
1389 Mommy and I agreed we needed another one that wouldn’t draw on walls or scream in supermarket aisles. 1.3306 0.05337 124 91 25 8
1390 Don’t be angry, Billy. You outgrew this suit last year and it’s only until Daddy’s tax audit is over. 1.3306 0.05299 121 88 26 7
1391 Rover gets treats but you have a really good college fund. 1.3306 0.05553 121 90 22 9
1392 I thought you needed a role model. 1.3306 0.05299 121 88 26 7
1393 Now be a good boy and tell Daddy where you hid Fido's boater. 1.3306 0.05553 121 90 22 9
1394 Dress for the job you want, not for the job you have. 1.3306 0.05428 121 89 24 8
1395 Oh Son, Daddy loves you both the same. 1.3306 0.05553 121 90 22 9
1396 Sorry. The suit was on sale, but it wasn't your size. 1.3306 0.05168 121 87 28 6
1397 We take turns. It's his turn to wear the suit today. 1.3306 0.05168 121 87 28 6
1398 He's easier to train, his sartorial style is excellent, and I won't have to pay for college 1.3306 0.05553 121 90 22 9
1399 Come on now, tell Otto how nice he looks in your old suit. 1.3306 0.05299 121 88 26 7
1400 Don’t be mad. I need the tax deduction. 1.3306 0.05033 121 86 30 5
1401 I know you wanted a sister, but this is your new brother Woof. 1.3306 0.05553 121 90 22 9
1402 Your grades were good, but Rex got a frisby scholarship 1.3306 0.05676 121 91 20 10
1403 Consider Teddy a role model, except in the greetings department... 1.3306 0.05033 121 86 30 5
1404 You are a big boy now and the suit doesn't fit you anymore. 1.3306 0.05428 121 89 24 8
1405 It's more fun to wear shoes like daddy does. 1.3306 0.05168 121 87 28 6
1406 Believe it or not, you are the one we adopted. 1.3306 0.05676 121 91 20 10
1407 Of course obedience school is for little boys as well. 1.3306 0.05033 121 86 30 5
1408 That's what can happen if you just leave your clothes in the closet. 1.3306 0.05033 121 86 30 5
1409 Well, Bobby, Beaufort is getting the inheritance because he was fully trained in 12 weeks. 1.3306 0.05553 121 90 22 9
1410 Son, we can’t recreate the ‘dogs playing poker’ painting with you in it, it just doesn’t work. 1.3306 0.05676 121 91 20 10
1411 Now, Johnny, who's a good boy? 1.3306 0.05033 121 86 30 5
1412 Timmy, I told you when I remarried it would be to my best friend. 1.3306 0.05553 121 90 22 9
1413 You’re both my favorite; he just looks cuter in the suit. 1.3306 0.05299 121 88 26 7
1414 He’s my handsome fur baby, and you’re just my son. 1.3306 0.05428 121 89 24 8
1415 Reginald is a well-heeled dog. 1.3304 0.05200 115 82 28 5
1416 I promise your new step mom will love you unconditionally 1.3304 0.05727 112 83 21 8
1417 Oh cheer up, he is better walking on two feet, he is a better dresser, and he is good looking, but, just give it time, he will run off after a car. 1.3302 0.05482 106 76 25 5
1418 Every minute you pout is seven dog minutes of his life. 1.3302 0.05800 106 78 21 7
1419 It's okay, Tommy, you can pee on the hydrant next time. 1.3302 0.05643 106 77 23 6
1420 You're going to Kindergarten but he's going to Phillips Academy. 1.3302 0.05482 106 76 25 5
1421 Come on - he already apologized for eating your homework 1.3302 0.05643 106 77 23 6
1422 Well, for one thing, he’s more obedient than you are!” 1.3279 0.05514 122 91 22 9
1423 well, maybe if you gained over 300,000 followers on any social media platform, i’d buy you new clothes too. 1.3279 0.05263 122 89 26 7
1424 I wanted a dog and you wanted a new mommy. It's called compromise, champ. 1.3279 0.05263 122 89 26 7
1425 Danny, you're absolutely right - it's definitely unfair that Spot is a sharp dresser, AND can lick his own nuts. 1.3279 0.05390 122 90 24 8
1426 Well, if you came when I called you'd get a treat too! 1.3279 0.05636 122 92 20 10
1427 I promise. Next time I'll take you to Home Depot. 1.3279 0.05755 122 93 18 11
1428 Come on, Charlie. It'll be fun having your new brother in the same school. 1.3279 0.05636 122 92 20 10
1429 Look how lucky you are! Your doggy's a minister!! 1.3279 0.04861 122 91 24 7
1430 But son, now we all get to stay home together! 1.3279 0.05263 122 89 26 7
1431 I know it doesn't seem fair, but in his defense, he was much easier to potty train. 1.3279 0.05263 122 89 26 7
1432 I don’t love him more than you, he’s just a better listener 1.3279 0.05514 122 91 22 9
1433 Once you stop sniffing butts I'll get you a suit, too! 1.3279 0.05132 122 88 28 6
1434 No, your brother is not a tattletale. I can also smell you need a diaper change. 1.3277 0.05483 119 88 23 8
1435 Don't tell me he ate your homework, your brother would never do that 1.3277 0.04790 119 83 33 3
1436 I love both of you equally, but Augustus is a good boy. 1.3277 0.05737 119 90 19 10
1437 His obedience school is really great. If they can do that with a dog, think about what they can do with you. 1.3277 0.05352 119 87 25 7
1438 Don’t take it personally, Billy, but Rex has been much more responsive to grooming than you. 1.3277 0.05483 119 88 23 8
1439 Just because he's borrowed your clothes doesn't mean you can now poop outside. 1.3277 0.05612 119 89 21 9
1440 Of course I don't have a favorite 1.3277 0.05860 119 91 17 11
1441 The event invitation said ‘dressy casual’, so quite frankly, you both look ridiculous. 1.3277 0.05352 119 87 25 7
1442 Steven, do you know how long it took to get the dog into this outfit? You're going to smile for the picture. 1.3277 0.05217 119 86 27 6
1443 Yes, the dog can wear people’s clothes, but that doesn’t mean you get to eat dog food. 1.3277 0.05217 119 86 27 6
1444 When you quit throwing tantrums over everything Donald, and show a little more respect to the family constitution like champ here, then we'll treat you the same. 1.3277 0.05352 119 87 25 7
1445 Sorry Eddie. You resemble Donald Trump so much that we are disowning you and choosing the dog to be our son from now on. 1.3277 0.05612 119 89 21 9
1446 I promise, you get to ride shotgun on the way home. 1.3277 0.05352 119 87 25 7
1447 If only your grandparents had been satisfied with a granddog! 1.3277 0.05217 119 86 27 6
1448 Learn from Rufus, son! He always holds hands and never runs ahead. 1.3277 0.04790 119 87 25 6
1449 Since it worked so well for Rover, obedience school will be good for you too. 1.3273 0.05496 110 80 24 6
1450 I know you're angry Norville, but the school won't allow a shaggy hairdoo. 1.3273 0.05496 110 80 24 6
1451 Look at the bright side—at least he's the one wearing a collar. 1.3273 0.05020 110 77 30 3
1452 One week in obedience school won't kill you. 1.3273 0.05934 110 83 18 9
1453 You crap on the carpet and don't do your homework, it makes you easy to replace." 1.3273 0.05934 110 83 18 9
1454 And the funny thing is, on Zoom they just think he's a kid with big ears. 1.3271 0.05754 107 79 21 7
1455 I’m sorry buddy. I know it can be scary when he talks while sniffing your butt. 1.3271 0.06053 107 81 17 9
1456 We've talked about this, mommy and I thought a puppy would be good practice for a real baby, and we were right! So try to be like your brother, he's suchagoodboy! 1.3271 0.05017 107 82 18 7
1457 One more TikTok of you two dancing and then we get ice cream! 1.3269 0.05707 104 76 22 6
1458 When you get straight A's at school like Sparky, you can be Daddy's favorite. 1.3256 0.05297 129 96 24 9
1459 It's not fair. Spot poops in the yard and he gets a treat. I poop in the yard and I get put on time out. 1.3252 0.04965 123 88 30 5
1460 Look, you said you wanted a little brother, and this is the best your mommy and I can do. 1.3252 0.05097 123 89 28 6
1461 But Harry, this is SOOOO much better than having a little brother. You don't have to share your toys! 1.3252 0.05596 123 93 20 10
1462 Tommy, this is Paco, the headmaster at the obedience school mommy and I are sending you to. 1.3252 0.05714 123 94 18 11
1463 That was the deal...when Muffy learns to walk standing up you'll learn to heal. 1.3252 0.05596 123 92 20 10
1464 Mommy always wanted a baby, daddy always wanted a dog. 1.3252 0.05227 123 90 26 7
1465 Hey, when you go to private school, you’ll get to wear short pants too 1.3252 0.05353 123 91 24 8
1466 Max used his listening ears and that’s why he got a treat...he’s a good boy, isn’t he? 1.3252 0.05353 123 91 24 8
1467 You see? He DOES like the clothes he got for XMAS 1.3250 0.05444 120 89 23 8
1468 Do you want to get neutered, too? 1.3250 0.05044 120 86 29 5
1469 Why can't you be a good boy like your little brother, Rover? 1.3250 0.05571 120 90 21 9
1470 Ok Timmy, you don’t want to go back in the crate do you? 1.3250 0.05571 120 90 21 9
1471 Come on, let’s take your brother for a walk. 1.3250 0.05571 120 90 21 9
1472 Come on, it's time to make up. Shake? 1.3250 0.04903 120 85 31 4
1473 He got the treat because he came when I called. 1.3250 0.05044 120 86 29 5
1474 Until you can sit quietly like him, Billy, your adopted brother is getting all the treats. 1.3250 0.05314 120 88 25 7
1475 Just because he’s adopted doesn’t mean he’s not your brother 1.3250 0.05314 120 88 25 7
1476 Sorry Timmy—best-in-show’s don’t fetch anymore. 1.3250 0.05314 120 88 25 7
1477 Son, he’s in our pod so let’s find a way to get along 1.3250 0.05314 120 88 25 7
1478 But he's 'Man's Best Friend.' You' re just my son." 1.3250 0.05444 120 89 23 8
1479 You ARE still my favourite, Joey. Just not in an unconditional love kind of way, more in a condition of my child support agreement kind of way. 1.3250 0.05696 120 91 19 10
1480 Take turns, next time we will go to your park. 1.3250 0.05314 120 88 25 7
1481 oh donald, be a good boy! 1.3250 0.05314 120 88 25 7
1482 ‘Now give him your paw and apologize.” 1.3250 0.04903 120 85 31 4
1483 I’m sorry but your playgroup doesn’t do business casual 1.3250 0.05044 120 86 29 5
1484 When he goes off to college, you can have his kennel. 1.3250 0.05571 120 90 21 9
1485 - I got you a hot dog just like you asked! 1.3250 0.05314 120 88 25 7
1486 It’s not that I ‘love him more,’ it’s that he obeys when I say ‘quiet.’ 1.3250 0.05044 120 86 29 5
1487 We need another stimulus check, Timmy 1.3250 0.05181 120 87 27 6
1488 You’re not identical twins, just fraternal! 1.3250 0.04903 120 85 31 4
1489 I’m sorry, son, but you heard your mother. You just don’t spark joy anymore. 1.3250 0.05571 120 90 21 9
1490 You're going to have to hold it, because I forgot to bring a plastic bag. 1.3248 0.05268 117 85 26 6
1491 Sorry Timmy, not all of us can be an Instagram influence 1.3248 0.05672 117 88 20 9
1492 You're still my 'oldest' child. 1.3243 0.05302 111 80 26 5
1493 We can fetch the ball together! 1.3243 0.05602 111 82 22 7
1494 I want to pee on the plants too! 1.3243 0.05454 111 81 24 6
1495 Don't be angry, look at your brother, he never complains. 1.3243 0.05602 111 82 22 7
1496 Last week we went to the skatepark, this week it’s the dog park 1.3243 0.05747 111 83 19 8
1497 Don't call your stepmother a bitch. 1.3241 0.05858 108 81 19 8
1498 Two walks a day, that's what we do. 1.3241 0.05858 108 81 19 8
1499 Hey, Buddy...It was Mommy's idea. 1.3241 0.05234 108 77 27 4
1500 This is what happens when you don't behave, son - we turn you into a dog. 1.3241 0.05858 108 81 19 8
1501 Okay, okay. I'll buy you a leash too. 1.3238 0.05820 105 78 20 7
1502 Remember, Billy: animals are people too. 1.3231 0.06971 65 47 15 3
1503 When you grow up, you two will be best friends. 1.3231 0.06971 65 47 15 3
1504 It's true he doesn't go fetch, but he plays a mean game of badminton. 1.3226 0.04932 124 89 30 5
1505 Turn that frown into a smile and I'll throw you a bone. 1.3226 0.05557 124 94 20 10
1506 Come on! It's for the New Yorker's Caption Contest! 1.3223 0.05532 121 91 21 9
1507 There is no "bone of contention" as to who the real pet is here. 1.3223 0.05277 121 89 25 7
1508 Billy, you’re my boy! It’s just Buddy is a man's best friend. 1.3223 0.05009 121 87 29 5
1509 He got your paw-me-downs. 1.3223 0.05277 121 89 25 7
1510 Don't be so bigoted! 1.3223 0.05406 121 90 23 8
1511 Timmy, I want you to say your sorry to Rover for hiding his frisbee. 1.3223 0.05277 121 89 25 7
1512 C'mon...Rover loved obedience school and so can you. 1.3223 0.04653 121 87 30 4
1513 I am NOT wearing a uniform. It's HOME school! 1.3223 0.05277 121 89 25 7
1514 Pretend you're meeting a new kid at the playground. 1.3223 0.05406 121 90 23 8
1515 He says he’s sorry he bit you. Can you say you’re sorry you put him on a chain? 1.3223 0.05406 121 90 23 8
1516 Yes Bobby....but she is a WELL DRESSED bitch... 1.3223 0.05406 121 90 23 8
1517 He’s younger so you won’t have to wear his hand-me-downs. 1.3223 0.05532 121 91 21 9
1518 Of course I love you more than Rover. He just dresses better than you do 1.3223 0.04869 121 86 31 4
1519 But we need to claim him for the stimulus. 1.3223 0.05406 121 90 23 8
1520 A top-tier preschool might take you, too--if you were brothers. 1.3223 0.05009 121 87 29 5
1521 You're adopted too 1.3223 0.05532 121 91 21 9
1522 Remember, son, we greet friends with our hands not our noses. 1.3223 0.05009 121 87 29 5
1523 Good boys are back in style. 1.3223 0.05406 121 90 23 8
1524 You’ll love obedience school, Otto had a great time. 1.3223 0.05009 121 87 29 5
1525 He's not a puppy anymore; technically he's your big brother. 1.3223 0.05406 121 90 23 8
1526 Okay, who's the good boy now? 1.3223 0.05145 121 88 27 6
1527 Sorry, but spot aced obedience school. 1.3223 0.05145 121 88 27 6
1528 Sorry Tommie, but his school Is open 1.3223 0.05406 121 90 23 8
1529 You are a good boy too! Good Boy! 1.3223 0.05009 121 87 29 5
1530 Maybe you should go to obedience school, too! 1.3223 0.05145 121 88 27 6
1531 Just try and be a good boy, like this son of a bitch. 1.3223 0.05775 121 93 17 11
1532 You're still my favorite human member of the family. 1.3223 0.04726 121 85 33 3
1533 No son, I don’t think our border collie is smarter than you. 1.3223 0.05655 121 92 19 10
1534 Yeah, it was a bad year, but for Spot it was seven. 1.3223 0.04869 121 86 31 4
1535 She doesn't do tricks but she does do taxes. 1.3223 0.05406 121 90 23 8
1536 Sorry bud, not everyone gets into private school. 1.3223 0.05009 121 87 29 5
1537 Treats are just for good boys 1.3223 0.05145 121 88 27 6
1538 If you don’t want to wear a mask, this is your playdate. 1.3223 0.05406 121 90 23 8
1539 it’s not you, i just like the dog better. 1.3223 0.05775 121 93 17 11
1540 I’m sorry my Tik Tok with him got more views. We’ll try again tomorrow 1.3223 0.05145 121 88 27 6
1541 Remember, we got your brother so you could have a good role model. 1.3223 0.05655 121 92 19 10
1542 Listen sport, you’re both good boys. 1.3223 0.05277 121 89 25 7
1543 You were the one who wanted a dog 1.3223 0.05277 121 89 25 7
1544 I know you wanted to do legos, Ethan, but isn't it fair we did fetch today? 1.3220 0.04945 118 84 30 4
1545 I'm sorry, he had a better performance review. 1.3220 0.05230 118 86 26 6
1546 Let's be honest here. Who really is the good boy? 1.3220 0.05090 118 85 28 5
1547 We had to cut a hole in your pants for his tail. 1.3220 0.05230 118 86 26 6
1548 Don't worry. You're already too big for his hand-me-downs. 1.3220 0.05090 118 85 28 5
1549 Why can’t you be as obedient as Rex? 1.3220 0.05367 118 87 24 7
1550 I know it might not seem fair that I got him a cellphone, but he is thirty-five. 1.3220 0.05630 118 89 20 9
1551 Quit complaining - he won fair and square. Your obedience skills are deplorable. 1.3220 0.05090 118 85 28 5
1552 But I already told you,we can only afford one son! 1.3220 0.05500 118 88 22 8
1553 How about I let you sleep in his room? 1.3220 0.05090 118 85 28 5
1554 Well,honey,Rufus knows where to poop. 1.3220 0.05090 118 85 28 5
1555 Cmon, it'll be just like Stuart Little! 1.3220 0.05500 118 88 22 8
1556 He can be your best friend too. 1.3220 0.04945 118 84 30 4
1557 Donald, if you’re as good as Clifford when you get older you can have some of daddy’s companies. 1.3220 0.05090 118 85 28 5
1558 If you two don’t behave, I’ll have to put you down. 1.3220 0.05367 118 87 24 7
1559 pampered pets vs entitled brats 1.3217 0.05599 115 86 21 8
1560 Honestly, Timmy? You weren't meeting my needs. 1.3217 0.05319 115 84 25 6
1561 OK, OK. I promise we won't walk near the playground. 1.3217 0.05319 115 84 25 6
1562 I'm sure he feels bad for chewing up your ball glove. 1.3217 0.05461 115 85 23 7
1563 Please behave Jimmy, I only brought one leash. 1.3217 0.05024 115 82 29 4
1564 His pant legs are not too short when he's on all fours. 1.3217 0.04711 115 80 33 2
1565 Every dog has his day. You’ll get yours too Billy. 1.3217 0.05319 115 84 25 6
1566 It’s either this or Zoom.” 1.3217 0.05461 115 85 23 7
1567 We can’t afford to send both of you off to college 1.3217 0.05461 115 85 23 7
1568 What's your problem, son? You've outgrown that suit anyway. 1.3211 0.05355 109 79 25 5
1569 Look Buddy- he scored way higher in the prep. school exams 1.3211 0.05812 109 82 19 8
1570 If you really want to be a Therapy Boy, you’ll have to study hard like Fritz. 1.3211 0.05664 109 81 21 7
1571 If you learned to use the bathroom properly like your brother, you'd also get 20 minutes of playtime 1.3211 0.05355 109 79 25 5
1572 You know that suit doesn’t fit you anymore 1.3211 0.05194 109 78 27 4
1573 I will enroll you in the obedience school next. 1.3193 0.05054 119 86 28 5
1574 You yourself said, "4 legs good, 2 legs better.", so why are you so mad young Orwell? 1.3193 0.05328 119 88 24 7
1575 He just came back from church, you don't need to be jealous. 1.3193 0.05328 119 88 24 7
1576 When your mom called your stepmother that, I thought it was a figure of speech. 1.3193 0.05589 119 90 20 9
1577 What makes you think we're bad at hiding your Christmas present? 1.3193 0.05193 119 87 26 6
1578 You'll always be my boy; he's just my best friend 1.3193 0.05460 119 89 22 8
1579 No, he goes to doggie daycare, you go to a different one. 1.3193 0.05328 119 88 24 7
1580 He's just my best friend..You are my son.. 1.3193 0.05589 119 90 20 9
1581 Yes, all the people schools are closed, but we found an opening for the both of you in the very next best thing. 1.3193 0.05193 119 87 26 6
1582 But Junior, Little Blue Boy mastered his toilet training 3 years ago. 1.3193 0.05460 119 89 22 8
1583 Yes, you are. You are. You are a good boy, too." 1.3193 0.04838 119 87 27 5
1584 C’mon: Who’s a Good Boy?!! 1.3193 0.05589 119 90 20 9
1585 It's not that we have favorites Billy, Fido just looks shit-hot in black. 1.3193 0.05328 119 88 24 7
1586 Now Billy, there’s no need to be angry. I’ve already explained to Rusty that a suit does not make a man.” 1.3193 0.05589 119 90 20 9
1587 Now, listen up young man. Some dogs play fetch. And some dogs study for the priesthood. Alright?" 1.3193 0.05193 119 87 26 6
1588 Look at the bright side - now YOU get to poop on the street. 1.3193 0.05460 119 89 22 8
1589 Well he may not look EXACTLY like you, but he IS your Brother" 1.3193 0.05715 119 91 18 10
1590 Come come Timmy, don't be jealous. You know puppy school is private. Besides, dogs don't do well with distance learning. 1.3193 0.05589 119 90 20 9
1591 Behave, or I'll turn you into a dog, just like your little brother. 1.3193 0.05589 119 90 20 9
1592 Just because we say he's a "good boy" or you wear his hand-me-downs doesn't mean we love you any less. 1.3193 0.05193 119 87 26 6
1593 They are not dangerous if you raise them right..and neither are the dogs. 1.3193 0.05328 119 88 24 7
1594 It's his birthday, Tommy. That's why he's wearing them. 1.3193 0.05054 119 86 28 5
1595 If you hadn't been held back a year in obedience school, I would have bought you a new outfit too. 1.3193 0.05054 119 86 28 5
1596 No reason to mope. You're my son, but he's only my best friend! 1.3193 0.04764 119 84 32 3
1597 You need to apologize to your brother and tell him he looks good in his new suit. 1.3193 0.05460 119 89 22 8
1598 Be nice to your brother and you'll get a treat. 1.3193 0.05328 119 88 24 7
1599 Billy, you apologize to Sparky right now for calling him a "son of a bitch"! 1.3193 0.05054 119 86 28 5
1600 Maybe I'd love you if you were more like Jeffrey. 1.3193 0.05328 119 88 24 7
1601 Don't worry about it. No one will ever guess he's your cousin. 1.3193 0.05193 119 87 26 6
1602 Now who else is a Good Boy! 1.3193 0.05193 119 87 26 6
1603 Who's a good boy? Are you a good boy? 1.3193 0.05054 119 86 28 5
1604 I feed you. I walk you. I clean up after you. Why can't you love me unreservedly? 1.3193 0.05715 119 91 18 10
1605 He reads at a fourth grade level. 1.3193 0.05054 119 86 28 5
1606 Look, I know your stepmother is a bitch , but you still have to get along with your new brother. 1.3193 0.05193 119 87 26 6
1607 He threw your ball. Now go fetch it. 1.3193 0.05193 119 87 26 6
1608 Whats wrong? You asked for a puppy and a baby brother for Christmas, and Amazon had a two-for-one deal. 1.3193 0.05715 119 91 18 10
1609 Remember how crazy people get from isolating too long, now shake your brother’s hand and play outside 1.3193 0.04911 119 85 30 4
1610 I guess I only have one very good boy? 1.3193 0.04911 119 85 30 4
1611 I’m sorry Timmy, you simply do not have the pedigree for Saint Cuthberts. 1.3193 0.05715 119 91 18 10
1612 What do you mean it is not the potty training you were expecting?! 1.3193 0.05054 119 86 28 5
1613 No, only he may take a dump on the streets! 1.3193 0.04911 119 85 30 4
1614 I, for one, welcome our new canine overlords, and you should, too! 1.3190 0.05281 116 85 25 6
1615 Relax, Timmy. You said you wanted a well groomed dog. 1.3190 0.05557 116 87 21 8
1616 Don't sulk Son, you know Tuesday is his day for identying as human 1.3190 0.05948 116 90 15 11
1617 ‘I’m happy with the vaccine side-effects if you are.’ 1.3190 0.05421 116 86 23 7
1618 Now, Jimmy, Rex didn’t mean anything against you when he said ‘all dogs go to Heaven’ 1.3186 0.05518 113 84 22 7
1619 Won’t it be fun to wear matching outfits? 1.3182 0.05766 110 83 19 8
1620 See Donald? Freddy acts like a well-behaved, decent human, so I'm sure you can learn how. This is the first step to being a great man someday, even U.S. President! But first you have to stop snarling, biting, and going potty wherever you want. 1.3182 0.05469 110 81 23 6
1621 this is our sunday walkie, no biting or fighting with anyone 1.3178 0.05727 107 80 20 7
1622 Now remember, Johnny, we got you the Lord of Yorkshire only after you agreed to take him for a walk every day. 1.3178 0.05727 107 80 20 7
1623 One day, when you have kids, you’ll understand. 1.3178 0.05245 107 77 26 4
1624 I know. But, your mom was a ‘dog mom’ before I even met her... 1.3178 0.05727 107 80 20 7
1625 You can take the entrance exam again next year, but until then you need to go to public school. 1.3178 0.05410 107 78 24 5
1626 OK. Let's play Supreme Court. Muffy here will be Ruth Bader Ginsburg and you're a natural to be Brett Cavanagh! 1.3173 0.05677 104 77 21 6
1627 I know Kibbles 'n' Bits aren't your favorite. But Siegfried is your guest and he gets to choose. 1.3173 0.05677 104 77 21 6
1628 There are two toilets in this house and he didn’t drink from yours! 1.3173 0.05840 104 78 19 7
1629 Billy, don't be angry. That's just Barky's way of saying hello! 1.3167 0.05549 120 91 20 9
1630 Little brothers get hand-me-downs. You just have to wait until he outgrows it. 1.3167 0.05549 120 91 20 9
1631 Now,remember to turn around three times before you sit down. 1.3162 0.05242 117 86 25 6
1632 I'm sorry Jeffrey, but only Bauzer can relieve himself on the fire hydrant! 1.3162 0.05381 117 87 23 7
1633 I know, honey. But HE’S house broken. 1.3162 0.05242 117 86 25 6
1634 Look son every dog has his day....and Spot’s is today 1.3162 0.05242 117 86 25 6
1635 Ok Timmy, now it's your turn to roll over. 1.3162 0.04953 117 84 29 4
1636 He can be your pet AND my best friend! 1.3158 0.05333 114 84 24 6
1637 Don't be angry. He'll just wear your suit today because it's his birthday! 1.3158 0.05616 114 86 20 8
1638 This is only temporary until we receive the stimulus check. 1.3158 0.05476 114 85 22 7
1639 Get used to it, son. It’s a dog eat boy world out there. 1.3158 0.05333 114 84 24 6
1640 Mom says when we learn neatness we can dress up like Prince. 1.3158 0.05333 114 84 24 6
1641 Why does he always get to be Little Lord Fauntleroy? 1.3158 0.05333 114 84 24 6
1642 Come on! Who’s a good boy? Who’s a guh-boy 1.3158 0.05185 114 83 26 5
1643 Don't worry, if the trial adoption doesn't work out, we'll send you back. 1.3158 0.05476 114 85 22 7
1644 When you grow up, maybe you'll be my best friend. 1.3158 0.05185 114 83 26 5
1645 I've always said "it's clothes and attitude which make the man". 1.3158 0.05476 114 85 22 7
1646 C'mon, buddy, you outgrew it. We'll get you a new one. 1.3158 0.04876 114 81 30 3
1647 He’s actually a Boarding School Collie. 1.3158 0.05185 114 83 26 5
1648 Son, just because I always say, "Good dog," doesn't mean I love him more than you. 1.3158 0.05753 114 87 18 9
1649 When you improve your grades, you'll get to wear a uniform too. 1.3158 0.04714 114 80 32 2
1650 Because he’s the oldest. You can have his hand-me-downs when he’s through with them. 1.3158 0.05616 114 86 20 8
1651 Sure he's better dressed, but he'll never wear shoes. 1.3158 0.04955 114 89 17 8
1652 Sparky would like to teach you some new tricks! 1.3158 0.05333 114 84 24 6
1653 Now YOU show HIM how to act like a dog. 1.3158 0.05185 114 83 26 5
1654 Donald, we agreed fair and square that it is Joe's turn to wear the suit 1.3158 0.05333 114 84 24 6
1655 Your little brother just took the vaccine, ain't you excited? 1.3158 0.05753 114 87 18 9
1656 Don’t be ridiculous, I love you both the same. 1.3158 0.05333 114 84 24 6
1657 Don't you want to wish Buddy a good day at school? 1.3153 0.05576 111 83 21 7
1658 Johnny, how would you like to go to Fido's obedience school? 1.3153 0.05274 111 81 25 5
1659 But,Timmy,he won't be an obnoxious teenager in a few years 1.3153 0.05427 111 82 23 6
1660 Your mommy got her tubes tied and daddy had a vasectomy so this is the best we could do, Timmy 1.3143 0.05631 105 78 21 6
1661 Scruffy is not judging you for having absolutely no sense of style. 1.3143 0.05948 105 80 17 8
1662 You’re right, he doesn’t look anything like us. We should have sniffed his butt a little more closely before we brought him home. 1.3143 0.05792 105 79 19 7
1663 Ok, Jimmy, next time, you get the fire hydrant & Freddie takes the tree. 1.3143 0.05466 105 77 23 5
1664 You've always dressed like daddy. Now mommy has someone to dress like her. 1.3137 0.05210 102 73 26 3
1665 Come on, just for a little while, he looks silly without sneakers. 1.3137 0.05210 102 73 26 3
1666 You wanted a brother and a dog. It's like we got you both! 1.3136 0.05476 118 89 21 8
1667 Yes, he's a good boy but you're MY boy. 1.3136 0.05607 118 90 19 9
1668 And someday...I'll take you to obedience school. 1.3136 0.05064 118 86 27 5
1669 You said you wanted a little brother... 1.3136 0.05064 118 86 27 5
1670 You can wear the suit tomorrow... 1.3136 0.05342 118 88 23 7
1671 I’m not happy to be your father, either. 1.3136 0.05064 118 86 27 5
1672 It was just a form of greeting. 1.3136 0.05205 118 87 25 6
1673 Come on, son. You always said you wanted a dog, and a little brother. Now you have both! 1.3136 0.05205 118 87 25 6
1674 Now you be a good boy and I’ll get you a treat too. 1.3136 0.05064 118 86 27 5
1675 Maybe you’re MOMMY’S best friend! 1.3136 0.05476 118 89 21 8
1676 If the teacher asks,just say “He’s my brother” 1.3136 0.05064 118 86 27 5
1677 We've been over this, Tyler. You're three and Bosco's twenty-one. He gets to go to work and you don't. But look on the bright side: he'll be dead LONG before you are. 1.3136 0.05607 118 90 19 9
1678 Now, now, I love both my children equally. 1.3136 0.05342 118 88 23 7
1679 Now let's see your good boy face. 1.3136 0.04615 118 83 33 2
1680 But you could be a good boy too! 1.3136 0.05205 118 87 25 6
1681 Don’t feel badly son. You can be my second best friend . 1.3136 0.05064 118 86 27 5
1682 I'll teach you how to shake hands when you're older. 1.3136 0.05342 118 88 23 7
1683 You come the next time I call - and you'll get a treat too. 1.3136 0.05342 118 88 23 7
1684 We’ve already talked about this, only your brother is allowed to pee outside. 1.3136 0.05342 118 88 23 7
1685 Once you learn to heel, you can wear the suit. 1.3136 0.04918 118 85 29 4
1686 He’s a good boy, so he gets the treat 1.3136 0.05342 118 88 23 7
1687 Okay, next time we’ll neuter him and you can wear the suit” 1.3136 0.05607 118 90 19 9
1688 Think of the possibilities --- Pilgrim charts his pedigree to before the Mayflower." 1.3130 0.05293 115 85 24 6
1689 Yes he has better clothes..but his mother is a pedigree 1.3130 0.04997 115 83 28 4
1690 I told you, tell us where you buried his bone or no TV for a month! 1.3130 0.05574 115 87 20 8
1691 Honey, we’ll get you a suit too, after 6 years when you grow as old as him! 1.3130 0.05435 115 86 22 7
1692 And now let's see if we can't teach a young boy old tricks. 1.3125 0.05078 112 81 27 4
1693 “Johnny, sure Conrad knows his times-tables and capitals of states, but no one can roll over and play dead like you.” 1.3125 0.05078 112 81 27 4
1694 Can't you see? Obedience school will do wonders for you. 1.3125 0.05078 112 81 27 4
1695 I know he’s not Scooby Doo, son, but at least he doesn’t live in a van. 1.3125 0.05078 112 81 27 4
1696 Come on... Remember how you said you looked like a sissy in short pants...??? 1.3125 0.05817 112 86 17 9
1697 Billy, he may be more cuddly, but bottom line is you are both sons of bitches. 1.3125 0.05533 112 84 21 7
1698 I suspect your mother was promiscuous, but let's not jump to conclusions. 1.3125 0.05953 112 87 15 10
1699 He was more loyal to our family so we had to shift the estate to him. 1.3125 0.04751 112 79 31 2
1700 He insisted on formal wear to meet you for the first time. Usually, he runs around naked 1.3125 0.05078 112 81 27 4
1701 I'm sorry, he turned out to be the goodest boy in the whole wide world. You had your chance. 1.3125 0.05078 112 81 27 4
1702 C'mere Timmy, Father McGonicle is here to take your first confession. 1.3125 0.05078 112 81 27 4
1703 It's hard to find the perfect babysitter. 1.3125 0.05817 112 86 17 9
1704 Grandma worked very hard to make you that suit. 1.3125 0.05234 112 82 25 5
1705 Don't be mad Donnie. He is not a fake dog and your hands will always be bigger than his. . 1.3125 0.05533 112 84 21 7
1706 Well, Michelle thinks of him like a son. 1.3125 0.05677 112 85 19 8
1707 Sorry son, take-your-kid-to-work-day is a little different this year 1.3125 0.05078 112 81 27 4
1708 Alright, alright. Pomeroy says its fine if you come with us on our walk. Just stay right with us and don't run off. Otherwise, I'll put the leash on you. 1.3119 0.05785 109 83 18 8
1709 Don’t worry Tommy, we’ll get you a new suit with the new stimulus check 1.3119 0.06071 109 85 14 10
1710 I’m sorry son, this is the way things work now with shelters. We’re the ones on trial! 1.3119 0.05326 109 80 24 5
1711 No! I am the good boy!!! 1.3119 0.05636 109 82 20 7
1712 His mother’s the bitch. Which makes you the bastard. 1.3119 0.05930 109 84 16 9
1713 He’s just like you, only friendlier. 1.3119 0.05636 109 82 20 7
1714 it's your turn to fetch 1.3113 0.05080 106 76 27 3
1715 Don’t force me to send you to obedience school. 1.3103 0.06185 87 65 17 5
1716 Just go find a tree somewhere 1.3103 0.05110 116 85 26 5
1717 Come on,Tommy! it’s Barksley’s birthday,and if he wants to go sniffing butts, then that’s what we’re gonna’ do! 1.3103 0.05395 116 87 22 7
1718 Buddy's just filling in until we can get a new monkey 1.3103 0.05797 116 90 16 10
1719 Now it is your turn to go to obedience school. 1.3103 0.04807 116 83 30 3
1720 His pedigree is higher. 1.3103 0.05110 116 85 26 5
1721 I’m sorry doggy daycares opened before elementary schools, but you should be happy SOMEONE gets to get back to their routine! 1.3103 0.05110 116 85 26 5
1722 You’ll be fine, Timmy. I’ve already taken your stuff to the orphanage. 1.3100 0.05808 100 75 19 6
1723 Listen, this dance isn’t going to TikTok itself. 1.3097 0.05345 113 84 23 6
1724 Don't worry son, I love you both equally. 1.3097 0.04546 113 79 33 1
1725 Maybe YOU should go to obedience school. 1.3097 0.05041 113 82 27 4
1726 If Scout can get used to online school, so can you. 1.3093 0.05744 97 72 20 5
1727 You can go to school next year, all right. 1.3091 0.05441 110 82 22 6
1728 Son, he's smarter and cuter so get over it. 1.3091 0.05883 110 85 16 9
1729 Now you grab his other paw. 1.3091 0.05441 110 82 22 6
1730 Everyone ready for a return to in person instruction? 1.3091 0.05592 110 83 20 7
1731 It’s important they see us together. We need to normalize this. 1.3091 0.05592 110 83 20 7
1732 Rusty says you can live in his house until you're 3. 1.3084 0.05379 107 79 23 5
1733 Well, Donald, you told Grandma you didn't like her Christmas present last year, so she gave it to Roofus this year. 1.3084 0.05541 107 80 21 6
1734 No, but you're my favorite human son. 1.3084 0.05213 107 78 25 4
1735 HERE'S THE PUPPY I PROMSED YOU! 1.3084 0.05213 107 78 25 4
1736 you can do it 1.3084 0.05379 107 79 22 5
1737 Don't think of him as a dog. Think of him as an obedience school graduate. 1.3084 0.05379 107 79 23 5
1738 If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll have to start wearing Wendell's hand-me-downs." 1.3084 0.05041 107 77 27 3
1739 Hey Buddy, you haven't been completely replaced yet. There's still time for a late comeback. 1.3084 0.05851 107 82 17 8
1740 One day you’ll be best friends. 1.3084 0.05041 107 77 27 3
1741 Make no mistake, it’s a dog’s life 1.3084 0.05041 107 80 18 6
1742 i told u we would reuse ur first communion outfit 1.3084 0.05379 107 79 23 5
1743 Don't cry, you're a good boy, too. 1.3077 0.05990 91 68 18 5
1744 Don't pout, we're gonna get you a nice outfit also. 1.3077 0.05479 104 77 22 5
1745 hey, you were the one who wanted a brother. It's not my fault he looks cuter in your clothes 1.3077 0.05127 104 75 26 3
1746 she won best dressed in the dog show 1.3063 0.05694 111 85 18 8
1747 C’mon, be a good boy like your brother, Rover. 1.3063 0.05399 111 83 22 6
1748 You wouldn't like prep school anyways. 1.3063 0.04922 111 80 28 3
1749 See, homeschooling actually works really well for someone! 1.3063 0.05245 111 82 24 5
1750 Think about it. Who rescued whom? 1.3063 0.05245 111 82 24 5
1751 Of course his Project Runway audition went better than yours...look at your shoes! 1.3063 0.05245 111 82 24 5
1752 What do you mean we left your sister at home? 1.3061 0.05876 98 74 18 6
1753 Look he’s species fluid. 1.3061 0.05876 98 74 18 6
1754 You can be a Good Boy too Bobby! 1.3056 0.05497 108 81 21 6
1755 Surprise! We got you a math tutor, kiddo! 1.3056 0.05172 108 79 25 4
1756 When it's Take Your Child to Work Day we'll get you some fancy duds. 1.3056 0.05172 108 79 25 4
1757 Stop whining, Timmy. Or I'll put you back down that well! 1.3056 0.05950 108 84 15 9
1758 It’s OK. They always greet their new friends that way. 1.3056 0.05652 108 82 19 7
1759 Sulk all you want, your first novel will be nothing without this experience! 1.3056 0.05497 108 81 21 6
1760 He did get better grades in obedience school. 1.3056 0.05652 108 82 19 7
1761 What kind of foreign exchange program is this? 1.3056 0.05652 108 82 19 7
1762 Mom will never believe me when I say this was your idea 1.3056 0.04736 108 79 26 3
1763 So until regular school reopens, you can learn a lot at obedience school. 1.3056 0.05652 108 82 19 7
1764 Sorry, boy, our son is allergic to kids 1.3056 0.05950 108 84 15 9
1765 Hey, you were the one who said no kid sister. 1.3053 0.05810 95 71 19 5
1766 Tippy toes, Billy. You can do it. 1.3053 0.05614 95 70 21 4
1767 Sorry, but you're not the one who gets rewarded for begging. 1.3053 0.06184 95 73 15 7
1768 Yes, yes I know, but the doggy daycare was full, son. 1.3053 0.06362 95 74 13 8
1769 Why are you looking unhappy? I said I’d walk both of you without the leashes. 1.3053 0.05810 95 71 19 5
1770 Next week you get to wear the suit. 1.3053 0.05810 95 71 19 5
1771 I watched pensively as father tried once again to laugh off Kevin’s accusation that we were, in fact, not siblings. 1.3053 0.06184 95 73 15 7
1772 Be careful son.....remember mommy said 'It's me or that dog......' 1.3048 0.05434 105 78 22 5
1773 Buddy will be sitting next to you on the bus now. 1.3048 0.05600 105 79 20 6
1774 I don't care what she did, you can't call your sister a little bitch. 1.3048 0.05600 105 79 20 6
1775 I told you we were getting a dog sitter. 1.3048 0.06071 105 82 14 9
1776 Your sister's a bitch. 1.3048 0.06071 105 82 14 9
1777 Sorry son, but he got into that exclusive school because he wowed them at Westminster and you didnt 1.3048 0.05761 105 80 18 7
1778 C'mon, Billy! Obedience school just got another opening. 1.3048 0.05434 105 78 22 5
1779 Thumbs are not underrated, Tommy. 1.3048 0.05600 105 79 20 6
1780 Told you we would get you a brother 1.3048 0.05434 105 78 22 5
1781 Butch let’s me hold his, and he’s 35. 1.3048 0.05600 105 79 20 6
1782 Yes but he’s a GOOD boy! 1.3048 0.05263 105 77 24 4
1783 Spot loved Obedience School,you will too. 1.3048 0.05761 105 80 18 7
1784 You'll get a new outfit when your posture is as good as his is. 1.3048 0.05086 105 76 26 3
1785 Oh- so Now you want to wear the cute new suit Aunt Clara sent?! 1.3048 0.05600 105 79 20 6
1786 Now Timmy, be a good boy like Fido and I won't have to put on the leash. 1.3048 0.05600 105 79 20 6
1787 He's my best friend and you are my best favorite son. 1.3048 0.05434 105 78 22 5
1788 Who's a good boy? Not you! 1.3048 0.05086 105 76 26 3
1789 But you’re my boy! 1.3048 0.05600 105 79 20 6
1790 I promise, you’re my favorite son. 1.3048 0.05263 105 77 24 4
1791 Cheer up kid. Every dog has its day. 1.3048 0.05434 105 78 22 5
1792 See, Phideaux knows how to properly beg me. So that is why he is Daddy's favorite. 1.3048 0.05761 105 80 18 7
1793 He gets a treat because he’s a dog. 1.3048 0.05434 105 78 22 5
1794 Dalton, you'll get a nice suit like Ned's once you're potty trained. 1.3048 0.05600 105 79 20 6
1795 Now Tommy you asked for a brother 1.3048 0.05263 105 77 24 4
1796 C'mon! .... this would look great on you! 1.3048 0.05600 105 79 20 6
1797 Sorry, Thomas, your mom and I both heard you say you wanted a "preppie dog". 1.3048 0.05263 105 77 24 4
1798 It’s called obedience school and Fido can give you some pointers. 1.3048 0.05434 105 78 22 5
1799 I'm sure your classmates will LOVE your new brother! 1.3048 0.05600 105 79 20 6
1800 Well, he likes to dress up. 1.3048 0.05600 105 79 20 6
1801 Don't worry. Yours will have long pants. 1.3048 0.05761 105 80 18 7
1802 So, what's it gonna be, pre-school? or Obedience School? 1.3048 0.05918 105 81 16 8
1803 See, son, this is why I call him a good boy. 1.3048 0.05263 105 77 24 4
1804 When you learn to heel, sit, and stay, I'll take you to the park, too. 1.3048 0.05600 105 79 20 6
1805 Just the three of us, won't that be nice! 1.3048 0.05263 105 77 24 4
1806 Now, now don't let your bite be bigger than his bark 1.3048 0.06071 105 82 14 9
1807 He is only your half brother. 1.3048 0.05086 105 76 26 3
1808 You're the second child. Get used to it! 1.3048 0.05434 105 78 22 5
1809 You'll understand why he's my best friend once you grow into a man. 1.3048 0.05600 105 79 20 6
1810 Bobby, your school doesn’t require uniforms! 1.3048 0.05434 105 78 22 5
1811 Dad, at school they WILL know he’s a dog! 1.3048 0.05600 105 79 20 6
1812 Why can't you be more like Doug? 1.3048 0.05600 105 79 20 6
1813 I’m sorry. Did you want a suit too? 1.3048 0.05761 105 80 18 7
1814 Remember, if we get pulled over in the carpool lane, Patches is your?” “Yea yea yea, I’ve got it, my ‘human brother’... 1.3043 0.05119 115 85 25 5
1815 If you play nice, Fitz will tell you where he buried your bone. 1.3036 0.05357 112 84 22 6
1816 Oh come on, Billy. It’s not like we’re getting married tomorrow! Come on, please say hello to Gretchen 1.3036 0.05649 112 86 18 8
1817 Tommy, I promise, once you learn how to stand en pointe, you'll get a Little Lord Fauntleroy suit, too!! 1.3036 0.05048 112 82 26 4
1818 You know, you were a foster, too. 1.3028 0.05453 109 82 21 6
1819 We love you too, son. Just less. 1.3028 0.05295 109 81 23 5
1820 I swear I love you both equally 1.3028 0.05132 109 80 25 4
1821 Due to financial challenges we can only keep one of you, but we'll miss you, Stewie. 1.3021 0.06127 96 74 15 7
1822 It's just a little snip, boy, nothing to worry about. 1.3019 0.05221 106 78 24 4
1823 It's okay, I'm capable of walking both of you. 1.3019 0.05555 106 80 20 6
1824 Sorry kid, this little guy will always be my best friend 1.3019 0.06168 106 84 12 10
1825 Quit being such a brat; at least I didn’t make YOU dress up like Little Lord Fauntleroy. 1.3019 0.05221 106 78 24 4
1826 You can wear a suit too if you get potty trained like your brother! 1.3019 0.05390 106 79 22 5
1827 But son,Sparky wears it so much better. 1.3019 0.05221 106 78 24 4
1828 I think we know who the good boy is. 1.3019 0.05555 106 80 20 6
1829 When you pass obedience training, you’ll earn a uniform. 1.3019 0.05390 106 79 22 5
1830 Remember what I said about obedience? 1.3019 0.05714 106 81 18 7
1831 If you learn how to sit and stay, you can come out with us for dinner too, Timmy. 1.3019 0.05221 106 78 24 4
1832 You're my favorite son, but he's my best friend. 1.3019 0.05046 106 77 26 3
1833 Good news. You have a new baby brother. And he's always a good boy. 1.3019 0.05390 106 79 22 5
1834 Don't worry,sweetheart. You're my second favorite child. 1.3019 0.05869 106 82 16 8
1835 Sorry, Jackson, but he obviously likes The Beatles more than you. 1.3019 0.05555 106 80 20 6
1836 Well, he goes out more than you. 1.3019 0.05390 106 79 22 5
1837 Rex had definitively answered the question of “Who’s a good boy?” 1.3019 0.05390 106 79 22 5
1838 Someday, Bobby, when you learn to sit and stay, you, too, can go to kindergarten. 1.3019 0.05555 106 80 20 6
1839 Look Timmy, that extra $600 isn’t going to earn itself 1.3019 0.05555 106 80 20 6
1840 I don’t mean to invalidate your emotions, Bobby, but Mr. Biggsly has just what Westminster is looking for. 1.3019 0.05869 106 82 16 8
1841 He didn’t question my authority 1.3019 0.05221 106 78 24 4
1842 Like you, he’s adopted. 1.3019 0.05390 106 79 22 5
1843 You were a rescue too. 1.3010 0.05490 103 77 21 5
1844 Timmy, little Rover here has trained at the finest obedience school and is clearly a pure bred. He has people to FETCH for him. 1.3010 0.05490 103 77 21 5
1845 You wouldn't even be interested going, it's a dog and pony show. 1.3010 0.05490 103 77 21 5
1846 Well he is a royal corgi, so he has to wear short pants until he is 8. 1.3010 0.05490 103 77 21 5
1847 It’s the same school fido went to and he loved it! You’ll make new friends and get snacks all day long. 1.3010 0.05314 103 76 23 4
1848 Don't worry, you'll get his 'hand me downs' in seven years. 1.3010 0.05988 103 80 15 8
1849 And when we adopted you, too, our family was complete. 1.3010 0.05132 103 75 25 3
1850 Kids have you heard the good news: the halfwits who ran “The New Yorker” cartoon caption contest have been fired! 1.3010 0.05988 103 80 15 8
1851 Of course we love you more,but how many dogs have you seen that can walk on two feet? 1.3010 0.05314 103 76 23 4
1852 So,your brother wears your hand-me-downs. No big deal, right? 1.3010 0.05988 103 80 15 8
1853 You'll get it back right after Westminster. 1.3010 0.05490 103 77 21 5
1854 Look, Buddy! Our pandemic friend is visiting you again! Why don’t you two play with the legos he didn’t chew last time? 1.3010 0.05490 103 77 21 5
1855 Listen Pavlov, act like a dachshund and we get the government funding. Got it? 1.3010 0.05661 103 78 19 6
1856 Relax. Kids under 12 eat for free, and we're out of kibble. 1.3010 0.05132 103 75 25 3
1857 But haven't you been saying you'd like a baby brother, or a dog? How about we call him Twofer? 1.3010 0.05490 103 77 21 5
1858 I’ll take you at your word, but name calling doesn’t sound like Max. 1.3010 0.05314 103 76 23 4
1859 Come on Jack!, your brother Vincent learned to use his toilet alone when he was 8 weeks old. 1.3010 0.04943 103 74 27 2
1860 No,no,just because he sniffs your butt doesn’t mean you have to. 1.3010 0.05490 103 77 21 5
1861 It’s all about breeding, son. 1.3010 0.05490 103 77 21 5
1862 Well, Bobby - when you get admitted to law school, you can have a nice suit too. 1.3010 0.05988 103 80 15 8
1863 Yes he’s super cute and everyone wants to play with him and pet him but you have opposable thumbs . 1.3010 0.05132 103 75 25 3
1864 You'll be my number one man again as soon as you learn to conform and cooperate like he did. 1.3010 0.05827 103 79 17 7
1865 Relax, son. He will only live with us for the next 10-15 years. 1.3010 0.05490 103 77 21 5
1866 “He doesn’t want us to walk him. He wants us to walk WITH him.” 1.3010 0.05661 103 78 19 6
1867 Now it’s your turn to fetch the ball, Billy 1.3010 0.05827 103 79 17 7
1868 The reason we got kicked off of the plane is because you wouldn’t wear a mask, son. Don’t blame this on our dog’s flawless disguise 1.3010 0.05490 103 77 21 5
1869 Look Tyler, you have to stop screaming ‘Squirrel’ at Atticus. Now, give me paw. 1.3010 0.05314 103 76 23 4
1870 Letting your pup wear your clothes, eat off your plate, and chew up your stuff are small sacrifices to make to show your love. 1.3010 0.05314 103 76 23 4
1871 Grandma spent good money on that suit, if you don’t want to wear it, I’ll give it to someone who’ll appreciate it. 1.3010 0.05314 103 76 23 4
1872 It’s the first time for both of you without leashes so don’t blow this for her. 1.3010 0.05132 103 75 25 3
1873 Yes son, grandma would still notice the difference even if she's on Skype. 1.3010 0.05661 103 78 19 6
1874 He's been a very good boy, he gets to wear the suit. 1.3000 0.05239 120 91 22 7
1875 You're a good boy too... just not the BEST boy 1.2991 0.05347 107 80 22 5
1876 But you said you wanted to walk the dog. 1.2991 0.05007 107 78 26 3
1877 Remember what I taught you about sharing, Fido is trying out to be a Hospital Therapy Dog today. 1.2991 0.04641 107 76 30 1
1878 Why can't you be a good as your brother? 1.2991 0.05510 107 81 20 6
1879 If you learn to give me your paw properly, you’ll get a treat just like your brother did. 1.2991 0.05667 107 82 18 7
1880 You'll be with her family for a week. It's going to be fun!! 1.2991 0.05347 107 80 22 5
1881 Just because he's a "son of a bitch" doesn't mean you can call him one. 1.2991 0.05667 107 82 18 7
1882 If you don't lighten up, I'm making YOU wear the suit next time! 1.2991 0.05007 107 78 26 3
1883 You can take your shoes off when we get home, Archie. 1.2991 0.05007 107 78 26 3
1884 Its ok son. You can be man's second best friend 1.2991 0.05007 107 78 26 3
1885 Don’t worry, Timmy. We’ll get you a nice suit too, when you turn seven, like Fluffy. 1.2991 0.05007 107 78 26 3
1886 We just brought Rover home from Obedience School, you're next! 1.2991 0.05510 107 81 20 6
1887 Daddy loves both of you equally." 1.2991 0.05007 107 78 26 3
1888 And when you're a man, he'll be your best friend. 1.2991 0.05510 107 81 20 6
1889 C'mon Tommy. Obedience school will be so much fun! Look what it did for your dog! 1.2991 0.05667 107 82 18 7
1890 Johnnie, he may be a son of a bitch, but he's still your step brother. 1.2991 0.05510 107 81 20 6
1891 Just because he's well dressed and polite it doesn't mean he's my favorite. 1.2991 0.05007 107 78 26 3
1892 I know, but he really likes to dress up. 1.2991 0.05347 107 80 22 5
1893 Yes you’re adopted. But that doesn’t mean we love you any less than your brother. 1.2991 0.05180 107 79 24 4
1894 Daddy loves both his children equally. 1.2991 0.05180 107 79 24 4
1895 Don't be a sore loser. He won the fashion contest by 11,780 votes! 1.2991 0.05180 107 79 24 4
1896 You better straighten up, young man, or I'll send YOU to Obedience School! 1.2991 0.05667 107 82 18 7
1897 I promise you’ll enjoy boarding school-look what it’s done for your brother! 1.2991 0.05510 107 81 20 6
1898 Frank, I 'm taking your new brother Fred off to his socially distanced puppy group. When I get back I'll home school you. 1.2991 0.05667 107 82 18 7
1899 Why are you so angry? You got too big for those clothes, but they're just the right size for good ol Buddy. 1.2991 0.05510 107 81 20 6
1900 You can keep walking on two legs. 1.2991 0.05180 107 79 24 4
1901 Maybe if you make an effort to get along with people better, one day you’ll have a best friend too, 1.2991 0.05347 107 80 22 5
1902 Smile and I'll give you a treat, too. 1.2991 0.05180 107 79 24 4
1903 Ok, we'll swap outfits and you can use the tailhole for toilet training. 1.2991 0.05970 107 84 14 9
1904 He'll love you like a brother, and always be your best friend. 1.2991 0.05007 107 78 26 3
1905 Donny, just because he won doesn’t mean you lost, ok? 1.2991 0.05970 107 84 14 9
1906 We are all brothers, buddy! 1.2991 0.05347 107 80 22 5
1907 I love both my boys equally- I swear! 1.2991 0.05347 107 80 22 5
1908 Percy goes in the potty... 1.2991 0.06116 107 85 12 10
1909 I told you, I’m not replacing your mother. I just fell in love. And I’m sure you’ll see what I see if you give this a chance. 1.2991 0.05180 107 79 24 4
1910 If he can wag, you can share! 1.2991 0.05347 107 80 22 5
1911 It’s not my fault he does better on Instagram than you. 1.2991 0.05180 107 79 24 4
1912 Why can’t you be a good boy like Buster? 1.2991 0.05180 107 79 24 4
1913 He has more likes on Instagram than you do, so technically, he’s the big brother now. 1.2991 0.05180 107 79 24 4
1914 I heard all the girls at school find your best friend quite fetching. 1.2982 0.05276 114 86 22 6
1915 Now, Little Donald, like I've told you before: if you lie down with dogs-- no matter how well dressed they are-- you'll wind up with fleas. 1.2981 0.05614 104 79 19 6
1916 You can roll in the squirrel carcass first next time. 1.2981 0.05778 104 80 17 7
1917 but you can't fit it anymore, and he is a good boy! 1.2981 0.05271 104 77 23 4
1918 You'll always be my second favorite child. 1.2981 0.05445 104 78 21 5
1919 Yes! You’re twins! Don’t ask me again, Ollie! 1.2981 0.05271 104 77 23 4
1920 See? Skipper doesn't mind getting dressed up! 1.2981 0.05614 104 79 19 6
1921 Now Norman, be nice to Rockwell. 1.2981 0.05937 104 81 15 8
1922 But he’s a pedigree; we’re just mutts. 1.2981 0.05271 104 77 23 4
1923 I want a real brother! 1.2981 0.05614 104 79 19 6
1924 I'm sorry son, but I've already cut the hole for his tail. 1.2981 0.05271 104 77 23 4
1925 Well, of course I like him better - he's man's best friend! 1.2981 0.05614 104 79 19 6
1926 We didn’t just get you a dog - she is the Notorious D-O-G! 1.2981 0.04904 104 75 27 2
1927 No, we can't have hot dogs for dinner. 1.2981 0.05091 104 76 25 3
1928 Don't worry, you'll enjoy obedience school. 1.2981 0.05271 104 77 22 4
1929 It’s not that we love him more, it’s just that he’s more obedient. 1.2981 0.05778 104 80 17 7
1930 When you stop peeing in the corner you can have your suit back. 1.2981 0.05778 104 80 17 7
1931 Now, be a good boy like your brother. 1.2981 0.04904 104 75 27 2
1932 Maybe I should send you to obedience school" 1.2981 0.05271 104 77 23 4
1933 I know we said we were just fostering, Charlie, but we’ve decided to adopt.” 1.2981 0.05445 104 78 21 5
1934 Don't fret son...you'll always be my second best friend. 1.2981 0.05614 104 79 19 6
1935 It doesn’t mean you have to wear the leash. 1.2981 0.05445 104 78 21 5
1936 But you'll LIKE sleeping in the doghouse. 1.2981 0.05091 104 76 25 3
1937 Isn't it exciting Timmy? Your mother is part Royal Wolfhound. 1.2981 0.05614 104 79 19 6
1938 I told you your mother was a bitch 1.2981 0.05445 104 78 21 5
1939 Look, I've kept my promise to get you a brother! 1.2981 0.05271 104 77 23 4
1940 Don’t be grumpy, it doesn’t fit you anymore. 1.2981 0.05271 104 77 23 4
1941 He likes me best. 1.2981 0.05271 104 77 23 4
1942 Be a good boy, like your brother, and you’ll get a treat! 1.2981 0.05091 104 76 25 3
1943 Don't worry, Timmy, you're going to LOVE the farm upstate 1.2981 0.05937 104 81 15 8
1944 He's 54 in dog years now so yes, you have to obey him" 1.2981 0.05614 104 79 19 6
1945 Ah, buddy...It’s not personal. Daddy just wants to boost his Instagram follows. 1.2981 0.05778 104 80 17 7
1946 Now why can’t you be a “good boy” like your little brother 1.2981 0.05271 104 77 23 4
1947 Next one who s***s in the house is up for adoption. 1.2981 0.05778 104 80 17 7
1948 Only good boys get suits. 1.2970 0.06060 101 79 14 8
1949 Hey Bobby- Good news! Your brother Sparky just got into the gifted and talented kindergarten program at your elementary school. You can take the bus together! 1.2970 0.05894 101 78 16 7
1950 Today is his turn to wear the suit and you wear the shoes. Tomorrow you can switch. 1.2970 0.05724 101 77 18 6
1951 He's going to a formal party at the Kennel Club, kids are not invited. 1.2963 0.05465 108 82 20 6
1952 Mommy said that two of us need a little time out.” 1.2959 0.05840 98 75 17 6
1953 Fred got all dressed up just to meet you! 1.2959 0.05657 98 74 19 5
1954 Come on now. You'll get your turn to go clothes shopping. 1.2959 0.05840 98 75 17 6
1955 Rexy just graduated summa cum laude, K9U - you start homeschool tomorrow! 1.2952 0.05567 105 80 19 6
1956 He’s a pet; agree? 1.2952 0.05400 105 79 21 5
1957 Come on Fido let’s take Joshua for walkies 1.2952 0.05400 105 79 21 5
1958 I keep trying to tell you, Stuart Little isn’t real. 1.2952 0.04865 105 76 27 2
1959 Life is ruff sometimes, pal! 1.2952 0.05567 105 80 19 6
1960 Well, at least he doesn’t poop his pants. 1.2952 0.05567 105 80 19 6
1961 Didn't you say you wanted a little brother and a dog for Christmas? 1.2947 0.05772 95 72 18 5
1962 Wags is my favorite but don't worry, you're going to outlive him. 1.2947 0.05962 95 73 16 6
1963 Come on, lick and make up... 1.2947 0.05772 95 72 18 5
1964 You can go first on the next fire hydrant, I promise. 1.2947 0.05772 95 72 18 5
1965 You wanted a dog, I wanted obedience. Win-win. 1.2947 0.05370 95 70 22 3
1966 Just pretend it’s your little brother. 1.2947 0.05574 95 71 20 4
1967 Good boys get treats. 1.2947 0.05772 95 72 18 5
1968 Don't worry Tommy....We're going to find you a good home!!! 1.2947 0.06147 95 74 14 7
1969 You can still have the lower bunk! 1.2947 0.05772 95 72 18 5
1970 Now, who's the clever boy? 1.2947 0.05772 95 72 18 5
1971 Come on, boy! Roll over! 1.2947 0.05772 95 72 18 5
1972 Are you calling him a liar? 1.2947 0.05772 95 72 18 5
1973 And this time its you thats going to "live on a farm" 1.2947 0.05370 95 70 22 3
1974 The truth is Billy, that Rex is our actual son and you were adopted. 1.2947 0.05772 95 72 18 5
1975 Now be nice to your brother! 1.2947 0.05574 95 71 20 4
1976 He's family, too. 1.2947 0.05772 95 72 18 5
1977 If you behave, you can get a treat too! 1.2947 0.05574 95 71 20 4
1978 Sorry son,no fireworks. You know how they upset your little brother. 1.2947 0.05574 95 71 20 4
1979 Because you didn't wag your tail, that's why! 1.2947 0.05772 95 72 18 5
1980 How do you expect him to play with you? You're 9 and he's 63. We're on our way to apply for his Social Security. 1.2941 0.05675 102 78 18 6
1981 See what a good boy your brother is? 1.2941 0.05675 102 78 18 6
1982 Now apologize for telling your sister she looks like a dog. 1.2941 0.05501 102 77 20 5
1983 Since you were so naughty, Donald, we are replacing you with a "Good Boy." 1.2941 0.05675 102 78 18 6
1984 Now remember Timmy, no biting! 1.2941 0.05501 102 77 20 5
1985 Your mom wanted you to have a canine brother to help you survive in this dog eat dog world! 1.2941 0.05501 102 77 20 5
1986 He's my best friend, but you'll always be my son. 1.2941 0.05675 102 78 18 6
1987 Tommy realized his father's definition of a "play date' was way off! 1.2941 0.05501 102 77 20 5
1988 Oh, c'mon! You're just as smart as he is! 1.2941 0.05322 102 76 22 4
1989 Don’t be silly...I love you both equally. 1.2941 0.05675 102 78 18 6
1990 'When you win a blue ribbon you can dress that way too' 1.2941 0.05136 102 75 24 3
1991 He's your cousin. Stop pulling his tail. 1.2941 0.05675 102 78 18 6
1992 Jimmy, it’s take your kids to work day, so be on your best behavior. 1.2935 0.05473 92 68 21 3
1993 I know, but he was with the kittens when they lost their mittens, and then they said 'lose your shoes'... 1.2929 0.05607 99 75 19 5
1994 I knew we should’ve re-homed you when the puppy came, but your mom wasn’t having it. 1.2929 0.06134 99 78 13 8
1995 Meet your new influencer. 1.2929 0.05607 99 75 19 5
1996 Bootsie is twenty-one doggy years so he can trade on Wall Street. 1.2929 0.05788 99 76 17 6
1997 Sure he’s better at tennis, football, school, soccer, rugby, bowling, basketball, badminton, dancing, baseball and he’s cuter, but you ARE taller. 1.2929 0.05420 99 74 21 4
1998 If you’d just just wear the nice clothes your mother picked out, like Sweetie is, you’d be a lot happier. 1.2929 0.05788 99 76 17 6
1999 Aw, come on now, you know I don't love either one of you more than the other. 1.2929 0.05420 99 74 21 4
2000 Dad, you assured me when the new arrival got here that I’d still be top dog. 1.2929 0.05788 99 76 17 6
2001 He could become your best friend. 1.2929 0.05026 99 72 25 2
2002 Your sister and I have discussed it and we’ve decided to re-home you. 1.2929 0.05964 99 77 15 7
2003 In this dog-eat-dog world, son, you can't keep riding on Skippy's coattails. 1.2929 0.05788 99 76 17 6
2004 Your mother and I are heading out, please listen to the baby sitter! 1.2929 0.05788 99 76 17 6
2005 Sorry, Aiden, the saying is 'every dog has its day'. Unfortunately, you're just a human. 1.2925 0.05356 106 80 21 5
2006 I reacted the same way when your grandfather told me. 1.2925 0.05356 106 80 21 5
2007 Who wants a treat? 1.2921 0.05806 89 67 18 4
2008 Chin up, Bobby - in dog years, you'd already be dead. 1.2913 0.05627 103 79 18 6
2009 Come on. Speak boy. Speak. 1.2913 0.05278 103 77 22 4
2010 Who's almost a good boy?! 1.2913 0.05278 103 77 22 4
2011 That’s right, Chester now wants you to retrieve it. 1.2913 0.06113 103 82 12 9
2012 He doesn't wet his bed. 1.2913 0.05627 103 79 18 6
2013 You would like him, he loves to play all day! 1.2913 0.05278 103 77 22 4
2014 Let’s try a new game! It’s called “Obedience.” 1.2913 0.05094 103 76 24 3
2015 You bought him a suit! 1.2913 0.05627 103 79 18 6
2016 Whose a good boy, Billy. 1.2913 0.05627 103 79 18 6
2017 It’s time to shake and make up 1.2913 0.05793 103 80 16 7
2018 I told you not to race him for the suit. 1.2913 0.05627 103 79 18 5
2019 Tonight, I’ll read you the bedtime story about the prodigal son. 1.2900 0.05374 100 75 21 4
2020 Don't be so sad. I'll find some shoes for him. 1.2900 0.05738 100 77 17 6
2021 Jimmy, don't be mad! When you learn to fetch, I'll get you a little suit, too! 1.2900 0.04984 100 73 25 2
2022 I know you don't get along with your brother but really, his bark is worse than his bite. 1.2900 0.05183 100 74 23 3
2023 Don't you remember? I told you we were going to adopt a new member of the family. 1.2900 0.05279 100 77 18 5
2024 You can have your treat when you behave like Pup-Pup does. 1.2900 0.05374 100 75 21 4
2025 Don't worry, it's ok if you are not comfortable walking on your hind legs. 1.2900 0.05738 100 77 17 6
2026 Be nice, Jimmy, otherwise when you both grow up, he'll bite your head off... 1.2900 0.05738 100 77 17 6
2027 Jojo was a circus dog. YOU are the one with the big boy pants. 1.2900 0.05374 100 75 21 4
2028 Everyone gets their fifteen minutes of fame, but that's an hour and a half in dog years. 1.2900 0.05738 100 77 17 6
2029 Father John is in quarantine. He sent Deacon Fideaux for your catechism tutoring today. 1.2900 0.06079 100 79 13 8
2030 Tell your brother you're sorry for calling him adopted. 1.2900 0.05183 100 74 23 3
2031 Oh, C'mon Freddie. Try to be more like Ralph. 1.2900 0.05374 100 75 21 4
2032 Of course I’m not playing favorites, but he IS in college. 1.2900 0.05559 100 76 19 5
2033 If you were potty-trained you’d get a fancy suit too. Hashtag goals, kid! 1.2900 0.05374 100 75 21 4
2034 WELL WE DID EVERYTHING WE COULD, INITIALLY, TO INVEST IN YOUR FUTURE , BUT UNLIKE FIDO HERE, YOU FOUGHT US ALL THE WAY 1.2900 0.05738 100 77 17 6
2035 Son, I didn’t say I loved the dog as much as you, I said I loved the dog more than you 1.2900 0.05559 100 76 19 5
2036 Yes, he IS your cousin. And yes, you have to pick it up if he poops at the park. 1.2900 0.05183 100 74 23 3
2037 This is my NEW “little man” because he obeys me better than you do. 1.2900 0.05559 100 76 19 5
2038 You need to be nice to your bother, even if he is behaving like the son-of-a-bitch. 1.2900 0.05559 100 76 19 5
2039 « This is our therapist and our ticket to get out of the house, be nice to him» 1.2900 0.05559 100 76 19 5
2040 I told you your cousin is a bit different...he’s English. . 1.2900 0.05374 100 75 21 4
2041 It’s like you’re not even trying to be such a good boy. 1.2900 0.05374 100 75 21 4
2042 I’m sorry son, but Fido is much better at catch than you 1.2900 0.05911 100 78 15 7
2043 You will get used to it. It’s called meritocracy. 1.2900 0.05559 100 76 19 5
2044 Your therapist will thank me later. 1.2900 0.05559 100 76 19 5
2045 You're a good boy, too. 1.2887 0.05276 97 72 22 3
2046 It could be worse. We could have given you his shock collar. 1.2887 0.05475 97 73 20 4
2047 Mom was just kidding when she mistook him for you 1.2887 0.05668 97 74 18 5
2048 Just because your aunt is a bitch doesn't mean you can't be polite to your cousin. 1.2887 0.05668 97 74 18 5
2049 Okay--next week YOU can wear "The Little Lord Fauntleroy" outfit! 1.2887 0.05668 97 74 18 5
2050 if he can,you can 1.2887 0.05475 97 73 20 4
2051 He ain't heavy, he's your brother. 1.2887 0.05855 97 75 16 6
2052 No, he's not my favorite. I love you boys both the same. 1.2887 0.04851 97 70 26 1
2053 Hunter,you must understand that dogs now have human names,so Noah now dresses like you used to. 1.2887 0.05668 97 74 18 5
2054 You should be happy that your mom and I have embraced moral relativism! 1.2887 0.05068 97 71 24 2
2055 Boarding school will do wonders for you, too! 1.2887 0.05475 97 73 20 4
2056 Try using your human words. 1.2887 0.05276 97 72 22 3
2057 just because your new stepmom is a bitch doesn’t mean you can call her one 1.2887 0.05668 97 74 18 5
2058 Remember how important it is to share. You got to wear the suit yesterday. 1.2887 0.05276 97 72 22 3
2059 No son, the right word is envy not jealousy. 1.2887 0.05475 97 73 20 4
2060 Say hello to your new tutor, Timmy. 1.2887 0.05276 97 72 22 3
2061 If Fido can be housebroken, so can you! 1.2887 0.04625 97 74 20 3
2062 I don't want to be just like him. 1.2887 0.05475 97 73 20 4
2063 Now that he's your height, you can share clothes 1.2887 0.05668 97 74 18 5
2064 Look son, a dog is a man’s best friend not a grouchy kid who wants an ice cream cone. 1.2887 0.05475 97 73 20 4
2065 Just one more Instagram post for Mommy and we will be done. 1.2887 0.05855 97 75 16 6
2066 C'mon, tell Rex he looks fetching! 1.2887 0.05276 97 72 22 3
2067 If you can stand and walk on your tippy-toes, I'll get you a short pants suit as well. 1.2887 0.05855 97 75 16 6
2068 What's wrong with second best friend? 1.2887 0.05475 97 73 20 4
2069 Obedience School is a tradition in this family. 1.2887 0.05475 97 73 20 4
2070 That's not true...I love you both equally." 1.2887 0.05068 97 71 24 2
2071 Remember, its not hard. Eat your meals, do tricks and be my best friend. You'll catch on. 1.2887 0.05475 97 73 20 4
2072 Don't cry, Tommy. You really ARE a son of a bitch, just like your little brother, Corky. 1.2887 0.05668 97 74 18 5
2073 Johnny, stop eating Rover's homework. 1.2887 0.05855 97 75 16 6
2074 Don't be sad Billy. Next year we're sending you to Obedience School. 1.2887 0.05276 97 72 22 3
2075 Okay, now you say you’re sorry and lick HIS face. 1.2887 0.05276 97 72 22 3
2076 A little sister would’ve been better than this. 1.2887 0.05668 97 74 18 5
2077 When you get 10,000 followers, we’ll get you a new outfit too 1.2887 0.05276 97 72 22 3
2078 He learned how to sit, stay, and potty train before you. Of course he gets half of your inheritance. 1.2887 0.05475 97 73 20 4
2079 When you stop peeing your pants, you can wear nice suits, too. 1.2887 0.05475 97 73 20 4
2080 C'mon honey, you know he's much better behaved than you and also way more grateful. 1.2887 0.05668 97 74 18 5
2081 I just think you’ll be happier at your mother’s 1.2887 0.05668 97 74 18 5
2082 If we give him a coffee and a bow tie, Instagram will lose it. 1.2887 0.05475 97 73 20 4
2083 Calling your brother dogface isn't goi ng to make us love him any less, Timmy. 1.2887 0.05855 97 75 16 6
2084 obedience school or a leash. you get the same choice he did; the suit is optional. 1.2887 0.05276 97 72 22 3
2085 You can have your suit back when you lose the weight. 1.2881 0.05121 118 90 22 6
2086 Don't be silly, you're my best friend too. 1.2874 0.05642 87 65 19 3
2087 Father Fido isn't Catholic. He's Episcopalian just like you, Tippy. Really! 1.2872 0.05978 94 73 15 6
2088 I don't believe little Jeeves would do that. It's not like him. 1.2871 0.05328 101 76 21 4
2089 Now Tommy, if you wanted a normal dog like all of your friends have, you should have been more specific. 1.2857 0.05618 98 75 18 5
2090 Reggie here likes going to school. You will too, I promise. 1.2857 0.05230 98 73 22 3
2091 He’ll help you pledge at obedience school. 1.2857 0.05427 98 74 20 4
2092 You told me that I was supposed to be the teachers pet, Dad!!! 1.2857 0.05802 98 76 16 6
2093 Hey, Donnie, life is not always fair. Your mommy and I just happen to like dogs better than kids. 1.2857 0.05618 98 75 18 5
2094 Remember, he's seven times older than you. You'll get a proper suit when you're his age. 1.2857 0.05618 98 75 18 5
2095 When you learn to heel, beg, sit, and come you’ll get nice clothes too. 1.2857 0.05618 98 75 18 5
2096 Don't pull your brother's tail! 1.2857 0.05230 98 73 22 3
2097 Barkley says this time you can throw the ball and he'll fetch! 1.2857 0.05230 98 73 22 3
2098 ‘Frankly, if you want me to treat you like a human, you have to act like a human! Look at your brother! Always so well dressed, so polite! He was the star of the night last weekend when we had the Gallager's over for drinks.’ 1.2857 0.05427 98 74 20 4
2099 Now little Timmy,it's your turn to go to obedience school 1.2857 0.05025 98 72 24 2
2100 But Charlie, you can't pull off a short pant. 1.2857 0.04811 98 71 26 1
2101 Welcome, this is your new forever home. 1.2857 0.05025 98 72 24 2
2102 Either you hold my hand or I get the leash out. 1.2857 0.05230 98 73 22 3
2103 Now Billy, we all agreed that if we adopted a little brother for you that we’d each need to do our part to make him feel like a member of our family... Now put on a happy face, compliment him on his new suit, and let’s start acting like you’re excited to smell each others butts. 1.2857 0.05981 98 77 14 7
2104 Timmy, you don’t have to stand six feet apart from this good boy 1.2857 0.06005 84 64 16 4
2105 Now kids, I know 2021 is scary, but we have to try it anyway. 1.2857 0.05230 98 73 22 3
2106 Here’s that puppy I promised you for taking daddy’s side in his divorce from mommy! 1.2857 0.05802 98 76 16 6
2107 I know you wanted to wear the fancy clothes, but he just really pulls it off. 1.2857 0.05427 98 74 20 4
2108 Clothes make a man. Naked dogs have little or no influence on society. 1.2857 0.05618 98 75 18 5
2109 Make it look like an accident. 1.2843 0.05283 102 77 21 4
2110 Who's a good boy? You are! Yes, you're a good boy. Good boy! 1.2843 0.05283 102 77 21 4
2111 You outgrew it 1.2843 0.05639 102 79 17 6
2112 When you're a good boy, you'll get extra screen time too! 1.2842 0.05325 95 71 21 3
2113 He’s dressed to the 9’s ...K9’s 1.2842 0.05532 95 72 19 4
2114 There, there,Billy, don't be mad. Roscoe beat you fair and square for best in show. 1.2842 0.05325 95 71 21 3
2115 Stop accusing me of favoratism -- I don't have a dog in this fight! 1.2842 0.05532 95 72 19 4
2116 C'mon buddy. You know that biting never works. 1.2842 0.05532 95 72 19 4
2117 Don’t worry you’ll grow a tail too someday if you go into politics, something has to come out on that end” 1.2842 0.05923 95 74 15 6
2118 Why do sad? This year we got you both a brother AND a dog! 1.2842 0.05532 95 72 19 4
2119 Daddy only favors Max because he does what he's told and doesn't need to go to college. 1.2842 0.05325 95 71 21 3
2120 Pffft...who said you were the runt of the litter? 1.2842 0.05532 95 72 19 4
2121 Why can't you be more like Schatzi? 1.2842 0.05532 95 72 19 4
2122 When I say stay, that means both of you 1.2842 0.05325 95 71 21 3
2123 Some fathers can have two best friends. 1.2842 0.05532 95 72 19 4
2124 Every dog has it’s day. 1.2842 0.05923 95 74 15 6
2125 If you work on obedience, being the ugly one won't matter. 1.2842 0.05325 95 71 21 3
2126 Son, you’re getting too big to wear Spot’s hand-me-downs. 1.2842 0.06290 95 76 11 8
2127 Even without the suit he gets more likes. 1.2842 0.05532 95 72 19 4
2128 I know all he can do is bark, but he still is your brother. 1.2842 0.05532 95 72 19 4
2129 It was this, or a leash for you. 1.2842 0.05532 95 72 19 4
2130 I'm sorry Son, you had your chance. 1.2842 0.05731 95 73 17 5
2131 Cheer up. It’s only for a day, and you can wear his collar! 1.2842 0.05731 95 73 17 5
2132 Rex says he stuck his tongue out at you to show he wanted to play. What can you tell me about it? 1.2842 0.05532 95 72 19 4
2133 You did not want to wear it to church. Why can't fido? 1.2842 0.05325 95 71 21 3
2134 Of course we love you, Fido is just more photogenic. 1.2842 0.05923 95 74 15 6
2135 Meet your new little brother, he’s adopted too! 1.2842 0.05325 95 71 21 3
2136 What’s normal these days, anyway? 1.2842 0.05532 95 72 19 4
2137 What part of ‘treats are for good boys’ did you not understand? 1.2842 0.05111 95 70 23 2
2138 Sorry Billy, he fetches better than you do! 1.2842 0.05111 95 70 23 2
2139 It's what all dogs wear when the graduate from an Ivy League obedience school..... Your turn will come. 1.2842 0.05325 95 71 21 3
2140 Let’s take it easy on Kenny—I hear his mother’s a real bitch. 1.2842 0.05923 95 74 15 6
2141 You don't have to call her mom yet, but can you please stop using "that" word? 1.2842 0.05532 95 72 19 4
2142 It’s like I told your mom, dog years give him seniority in this household. 1.2842 0.05532 95 72 19 4
2143 I’m sorry son. I reevaluated my priorities in 2020. 1.2842 0.05923 95 74 15 6
2144 Johnny, I told you not to trade your brother for a dog. 1.2842 0.05923 95 74 15 6
2145 Just think of it as a dog day afternoon. 1.2842 0.05325 95 71 21 3
2146 Sit! I said sit! 1.2842 0.05731 95 73 17 5
2147 Go on - give him your shoes. 1.2842 0.05532 95 72 19 4
2148 Just because Rufus dresses better does NOT mean we love him more! 1.2842 0.05325 95 71 21 3
2149 Be a good boy, like Oliver 1.2842 0.05731 95 73 17 5
2150 ...Not only that but he's already in our pod." 1.2842 0.05532 95 72 19 4
2151 You see Billy, I told you Daddy's eye surgery was a sucess. 1.2842 0.05923 95 74 15 6
2152 And that sort of attitude is why Scruffy is the new favorite child 1.2842 0.05325 95 71 21 3
2153 You're still my No. 1 Son 1.2842 0.05532 95 72 19 4
2154 You stay! We'll play fetch when I get back! 1.2842 0.05731 95 73 17 5
2155 It’s not that it fits him well, it’s that it fits him at all. 1.2842 0.05111 95 70 23 2
2156 . . . and all you have to do is be a "good boy." 1.2842 0.05532 95 72 19 4
2157 You knew the rule, Horace, the first one to get potty trained gets the bedroom 1.2842 0.06109 95 75 13 7
2158 Just tell me sooner, Billy. Remember, he's been house trained long before you were born. 1.2842 0.05923 95 74 15 6
2159 He’s right! The overbred in funny suits do rule the world. 1.2842 0.05731 95 73 17 5
2160 No problem, you can have a collar too. 1.2842 0.05532 95 72 19 4
2161 I know but your bite is worse than your bark 1.2842 0.05532 95 72 19 4
2162 I don't know why the shelter named him "Little Dog Fauntleroy" but we can easily change it to Cedric if that's what you want. 1.2842 0.05731 95 73 17 5
2163 You two will also be sharing a bathroom, aka 'the back yard.' 1.2842 0.05731 95 73 17 5
2164 C'mon, Billy, let's go sniff your new step-mother. 1.2842 0.05731 95 73 17 5
2165 Guess who was voted Most Likely to Succeed in dog training school. 1.2842 0.05731 95 73 17 5
2166 Dad, Fido’s the other one. 1.2842 0.05731 95 73 17 5
2167 Who’s a good boy?! Who’s a good boy?! Not you!? Not You! 1.2842 0.05923 95 74 15 6
2168 Behave yourself and don't forget that one of you will be returned once the pandemic is over. 1.2842 0.05532 95 72 19 4
2169 Sparks can’t do training school remotely 1.2842 0.05532 95 72 19 4
2170 Your mom and I love you both equally. 1.2842 0.05731 95 73 17 5
2171 It's just for his obedience school pictures. 1.2842 0.05532 95 72 19 4
2172 You have to learn to dress for success. It’s a dog eat dog world! 1.2842 0.05731 95 73 17 5
2173 Listen, you are still my favorite son! 1.2842 0.05325 95 71 21 3
2174 He may be an uppity SOB, but he is still your brother. 1.2842 0.05111 95 70 23 2
2175 The dog wants to take you for a walk 1.2842 0.05325 95 71 21 3
2176 Come on, Riley, shake. Shake! Who's a good boy! 1.2842 0.05923 95 74 15 6
2177 We don’t love Fauntleroy more than you, he’s just a very good dog. 1.2842 0.05532 95 72 19 4
2178 No reason to be angry just because you're both named Roscoe. 1.2842 0.05731 95 73 17 5
2179 Don't worry. If you're a good boy, you too will have your day. 1.2842 0.05532 95 72 19 4
2180 This is why we are only celebrating Bandit's obedience school graduation today... 1.2842 0.05532 95 72 19 4
2181 Sweety, why can't you be like your little brother? 1.2842 0.05325 95 76 13 6
2182 Therapy isn't bad. Look at Fido - after a few sessions he's not only comfortable with his "true" self, he fetches his own clothing too! 1.2842 0.05731 95 73 17 5
2183 Don't be upset. You don't have to wear shorts, and you wanted the dog in the first place. 1.2842 0.05731 95 73 17 5
2184 It's a cultural thing, son. Now reciprocate the butt sniff. 1.2842 0.06109 95 75 13 7
2185 Well, you wanted a little brother. 1.2842 0.05325 95 71 21 3
2186 The dog graduated from Obedience School, and so can you. 1.2842 0.05532 95 72 19 4
2187 Remember son, he's learned to shake and make up 1.2842 0.05923 95 74 15 6
2188 When you finish obedience school you can have a suit as well...now sit! 1.2842 0.05532 95 72 19 4
2189 Jimmy, don't make fun of you're brother, He is fully trained" 1.2842 0.05731 95 73 17 5
2190 Having 2 good boys gives me an extra tax deduction! 1.2842 0.05325 95 71 21 3
2191 Don't worry Timmy! If you're a good boy, maybe next year I'll bring you to "take your son to work" day. 1.2842 0.05325 95 71 21 3
2192 Don't sulk. He's just my best friend. 1.2842 0.05325 95 71 21 3
2193 It's okay, son. Next year you might win best in show. 1.2842 0.05731 95 73 17 5
2194 Meet Ralph, your new best dressed friend. 1.2842 0.06109 95 75 13 7
2195 Bobbie, great news! You and Buster are going to be in the same obedience training class. 1.2842 0.05731 95 73 17 5
2196 While we home schooled you, guess who really paid attention. 1.2842 0.05923 95 74 15 6
2197 But this is the only little brother I could adopt for you. 1.2842 0.05532 95 72 19 4
2198 Good boy, Donald. When you grow up you will make a good President. 1.2842 0.06290 95 76 11 8
2199 Remember how we did your thing last weekend? This weekend we’re gonna sniff the kitty litter, okay? 1.2842 0.06290 95 76 11 8
2200 I guess it is true what they say a man is a dogs best friend. I guess you are just a friend to me, son. 1.2842 0.04771 95 76 14 5
2201 Stop pouting we’ve got to hurry and get Harold to his acting lessons. 1.2842 0.04887 95 69 25 1
2202 Don’t worry, Jimmy. One day you’ll be as smart as Fido. 1.2842 0.05731 95 73 17 5
2203 The thing is, he’s cuter than you AND he doesn’t sass back. 1.2842 0.05532 95 72 19 4
2204 Dad with the dog he said he didn’t want 1.2842 0.06465 95 77 9 9
2205 David, there is nothing wrong with hand-me-downs. 1.2842 0.05731 95 73 17 5
2206 . Yes he's adopted but he's still your real brother. 1.2842 0.05731 95 73 17 5
2207 Your school might be closed, but Miss Muffy’s School for Manners is open! 1.2842 0.04887 95 69 25 1
2208 Chin up, Bobbie. When you learn to stop chasing cars, you can go to school like Mr. Wiggles here, too. 1.2842 0.05923 95 74 15 6
2209 Maybe if you didn’t crap all over the house, you could come to Olive Garden too. Now be a good boy and fetch Carlisle’s silk dinner leash. 1.2842 0.05923 95 74 15 6
2210 But he’s wearing MY favorite outfit, dad 1.2842 0.05219 95 73 18 4
2211 AND he’s toilet trained. What have you done lately? 1.2842 0.05731 95 73 17 5
2212 Based on your 2020 distance learning performance, your mother and I have decided to invest your future college tuition in obedience school instead. 1.2842 0.05923 95 74 15 6
2213 Oh C’mon now. Being different is a good thing. Let’s shake hands. 1.2842 0.05532 95 72 19 4
2214 I thought i was your favourite good boy 1.2842 0.05325 95 71 21 3
2215 Look at him. Now, SIT! 1.2842 0.05532 95 72 19 4
2216 Yes, he’s my best friend, he’s man’s best friend, but you’ll always be my little buddy. 1.2842 0.05923 95 74 15 6
2217 It’s not that we don’t LOVE you son, he just gets more LIKES” 1.2842 0.05325 95 71 21 3
2218 don’t worry son, you can teach your brother how to dress himself and he can teach you how to chase after the mailman. It’ll be fun! 1.2842 0.05731 95 73 17 5
2219 He doesn’t love the hand me downs either, son, but we he lives with it 1.2842 0.05731 95 73 17 5
2220 I love all my litter equally. 1.2828 0.05185 99 73 22 3
2221 The dog isn’t my favourite Jimmy, he’s just more willing to wear the suit. 1.2828 0.04771 99 72 26 1
2222 If you straighten up, you'll get a treat too! 1.2828 0.05283 99 77 17 5
2223 You can wear the uniform when you get accepted to obedience school 1.2826 0.06245 92 73 12 7
2224 Johnny, our friends never had kids so this is the best playdate we can offer. 1.2826 0.06051 92 72 14 6
2225 ...C'mon Bobby...There called a "hand -me-down". 1.2826 0.05642 92 70 18 4
2226 I'll get you and your brother a pet for Christmas next year. 1.2826 0.05642 92 70 18 4
2227 Don't worry, Billy, we found a nice family on a farm who'll take you in" 1.2826 0.05850 92 71 16 5
2228 Come on, Freddie. Let's try without the leash today. See how Butch here does it? 1.2826 0.05642 92 70 18 4
2229 Come on, boy. Come on. It's time to walk the boy. Whose a good boy? Whose a good boy? 1.2826 0.05850 92 71 16 5
2230 It's not a competition Timmy but he is only two and already has his pet-degree 1.2826 0.05850 92 71 16 5
2231 Look! I know it's unfair, but you're not allowed to pee on the fire hydrant. 1.2826 0.05642 92 70 18 4
2232 I'll get you nice clothes too ... when you show the same degree of loyalty. 1.2826 0.05426 92 69 20 3
2233 He IS my best friend, but you're both good boys 1.2826 0.05426 92 69 20 3
2234 With a bit of training, I'm sure you'll fit right into our family. 1.2826 0.05426 92 69 20 3
2235 Don’t be angry, you know he was my first child! 1.2826 0.05642 92 70 18 4
2236 Come on Donny, you can't win all the time! 1.2826 0.05642 92 70 18 4
2237 Remember, Rover: a child is not just for Christmas. 1.2826 0.05642 92 70 18 4
2238 When you learn to heel, Bobby, then you’ll get a new suit too. 1.2826 0.05426 92 69 20 3
2239 He was first but we love you too 1.2826 0.05850 92 71 16 5
2240 He'll be back to play after we get a little boost in our stimulus check 1.2826 0.05426 92 69 20 3
2241 Why don't you let Tyrell show you how to do a trick? 1.2826 0.05642 92 70 18 4
2242 Come on Jackson! Chase your tail for just a little while, and then you can pick the next game! 1.2826 0.05642 92 70 18 4
2243 You don’t have to dress like Woof-Woof. Just let him teach you coding. 1.2826 0.05642 92 70 18 4
2244 Don't be upset. Once upon a time they called this "putting on the dog." Now it's just another Instagram put-on. 1.2826 0.05426 92 69 20 3
2245 Ok-then he’ll be the ring bearer and you’ll go to the kennel. 1.2826 0.05426 92 69 20 3
2246 Charles, your mother has already acquitted me of this peccadillo... It's your turn to forgive me. 1.2826 0.05642 92 70 18 4
2247 It's a question of attitude, not difference. 1.2826 0.05850 92 71 16 5
2248 And now, Billy, it’s your turn to act like a little dog!” 1.2826 0.05202 92 68 22 2
2249 Now be a good boy and give me your paw. 1.2826 0.05850 92 71 16 5
2250 Well sometimes you can be a condescending little bitch too. 1.2826 0.06245 92 73 12 7
2251 Come on, now. Look what Cotillion did for Doxy. 1.2826 0.04967 92 67 24 1
2252 if you had remembered that bag, you wouldn't have to carry it in your hand 1.2826 0.06245 92 73 12 7
2253 Now, Tommy, it wasn't your mother I was calling a bitch. 1.2826 0.05850 92 71 16 5
2254 Now, let's have a 'Big Boy' face for Buster's success on YouTube. 1.2826 0.05850 92 71 16 5
2255 I told you that you have to wear tails if you go to the black tie party 1.2826 0.05850 92 71 16 5
2256 No worries. Your new little brother doesn't like broccoli or asparagus. 1.2826 0.05642 92 70 18 4
2257 First you put him in clothes. Then he's standing upright. What's next, is he getting the new PS5? 1.2826 0.05202 92 68 22 2
2258 If you stop pouting you can be my second best friend. 1.2826 0.05642 92 70 18 4
2259 You have to learn to convince everyone it's a person if you hope to be president one day. 1.2826 0.06051 92 72 14 6
2260 I'm sorry. They say you're just not obedience school material. 1.2826 0.05426 92 69 20 3
2261 Study hard enough and you too could get into Boston Latin. 1.2826 0.05850 92 71 16 5
2262 Aw, cheer up, you beat the cat! 1.2826 0.05642 92 70 18 4
2263 ok, I promise mom won't give her your shoes too 1.2826 0.05426 92 69 20 3
2264 How about you apologize for calling him "stupid looking" and "a phony pure bred." 1.2826 0.05426 92 69 20 3
2265 No! It's not that we love him more it's because he behaves better. 1.2826 0.06051 92 72 14 6
2266 I know but I could only afford a suit for one of you 1.2826 0.05202 92 68 22 2
2267 Meet your brother from a different mother. 1.2826 0.05850 92 71 16 5
2268 And that’s why he’s my best friend, and you’re not. 1.2826 0.05850 92 71 16 5
2269 I've been given this ultimatum before; I keep the dog. 1.2826 0.06051 92 72 14 6
2270 Stop it. We need the $1800 to help cover the $12,000 we owe in rent. 1.2826 0.06245 92 73 12 7
2271 Son, all millenials are getting them. Pets and plants are the new children. 1.2826 0.05426 92 69 20 3
2272 Just because you're adopted doesn't mean we love you any less. 1.2826 0.05202 92 68 22 2
2273 Don’t fuss. You will get his hand-me-downs. 1.2826 0.05850 92 71 16 5
2274 You’ll have more followers one day, keep your chin up! 1.2826 0.05850 92 71 16 5
2275 Well, what do you know? The dog really DOES behave better than you!" 1.2826 0.05426 92 69 20 3
2276 Sorry Mikey, I only brought dog treats. 1.2826 0.05850 92 71 16 5
2277 It's okay Timmy, just shake his paw 1.2816 0.05054 103 77 23 3
2278 Don’t be sad! You’ll get to wear the nice clothes when you learn to play dead 1.2816 0.05758 103 81 15 7
2279 You know I love you both equally. 1.2812 0.05278 96 72 21 3
2280 Hey, those pants don't fit you anymore. 1.2812 0.05482 96 73 19 4
2281 Dress for the job you want, son 1.2812 0.05678 96 74 17 5
2282 This is how a good boy behaves. 1.2812 0.05678 96 74 17 5
2283 No, son, we cannot just ‘bring him back.’ 1.2809 0.05759 89 68 17 4
2284 Don't be angry Son, all he knows are simple tricks. 1.2805 0.05827 82 62 17 3
2285 Don't worry – you're next in line for obedience school. 1.2800 0.05519 100 77 18 5
2286 Hey kiddo, we will get your special treat next! 1.2796 0.05154 93 69 22 2
2287 Now I want you to be a good sport and share your balls with him 1.2796 0.05376 93 70 20 3
2288 He's here to teach you obedience. 1.2796 0.05590 93 71 18 4
2289 We love you less now. 1.2796 0.05590 93 71 18 4
2290 Remember when I told you that somebody you'd get your very own brother? 1.2796 0.05795 93 72 16 5
2291 I'm sure he'll want to play fetch tomorrow. 1.2796 0.05154 93 69 22 2
2292 You'll be smarter than him one day Tommy. 1.2796 0.05376 93 70 20 3
2293 But you can't wear a dog collar -- we're Presbyterian. 1.2796 0.05590 93 71 18 4
2294 Come on - you know I love you as much as Rover. HE didn't get to where he is today by being a sourpuss. 1.2796 0.05590 93 71 18 4
2295 Come on, Billy. Lots of families adopt. 1.2796 0.05376 93 70 20 3
2296 Cheer up. One day you’ll get potty trained and graduate. 1.2796 0.05590 93 71 18 4
2297 Daddy loves you almost as much. 1.2796 0.05376 93 70 20 3
2298 You promised you'd go to Snuggle's piano recital. 1.2796 0.05376 93 70 20 3
2299 You will be able to wear a suit too when you grow up." 1.2796 0.05376 93 70 20 3
2300 Honestly, now that Ruffles has agreed to wear pants I’m not sure there’s a place for you here any longer. 1.2796 0.05795 93 72 16 5
2301 Trying to hump you is just how he lets you know he loves you. 1.2796 0.05795 93 72 16 5
2302 of course I love you more; he's just my best friend 1.2796 0.05154 93 69 22 2
2303 Look Jack, I'm sorry Mr. Wiggles had an accident in your room, but he's an award winning pedigree and you can't even read! 1.2796 0.05376 93 70 20 3
2304 But honey, it’s your turn to fetch. 1.2796 0.05154 93 69 22 2
2305 Don’t worry bud, I’ll take you to Disney when you master your times tables too 1.2796 0.06185 93 74 12 7
2306 Now,now, you can play with your real human friends once herd immunity is achieved. 1.2796 0.05795 93 72 16 5
2307 Today is McHenry Rover Charles the Second’s birthday. When it’s your birthday, we’ll go where you want to go, Craig. 1.2796 0.05154 93 69 22 2
2308 I don't love him more,I just love him in a different way ! 1.2796 0.04922 93 68 24 1
2309 Oh Timmy, you're not even Man's Best Son. 1.2796 0.05590 93 71 18 4
2310 Just because your name is Donald, doesn't mean you can kick the dog 1.2796 0.05376 93 70 20 3
2311 Why can't you be a good boy like Rover? 1.2796 0.05376 93 70 20 3
2312 Come along, son, now it’s your turn to go to obedience school. 1.2796 0.05590 93 71 18 4
2313 Come on, pal. You'll be tip-toeing in no time. 1.2796 0.05376 93 70 20 3
2314 If you had a front-line leadership position like his, I'd get you a suit, too. 1.2796 0.05993 93 73 14 6
2315 Look at Fido--he's being a good boy! 1.2796 0.05993 93 73 14 6
2316 But, Donald, you chose him to be your Vice-President. 1.2796 0.05795 93 72 16 5
2317 Now, now. He doesn’t object to pretending to be my son, and in time you won’t either. 1.2796 0.05376 93 70 20 3
2318 C'mon little buddy. You're special too. 1.2796 0.05154 93 69 22 2
2319 You bought HIM this year's Versace!? 1.2796 0.05993 93 73 14 6
2320 No one ever said boy was a man's best friend 1.2796 0.05795 93 72 16 5
2321 You should have subscribed to his style tips. 1.2796 0.04922 93 68 24 1
2322 Now stop being a little bitch like your sister. 1.2796 0.05795 93 72 16 5
2323 Now Danny, if you don't play nice with your cousin he'll bite, OK? He's from Germany. 1.2796 0.05993 93 73 14 6
2324 Maybe if you didn't piss your pants so much, we would mock you less 1.2796 0.06185 93 74 12 7
2325 Jimmy don’t be upset, our dog has border collie genes. 1.2796 0.05795 93 72 16 5
2326 Who's a Good boy? Now, who's a good boy? 1.2796 0.05376 93 70 20 3
2327 Look at it this way, at least you’re out of knickers. 1.2796 0.05376 93 74 12 6
2328 Don't call your stepmom a bitch. 1.2796 0.05795 93 72 16 5
2329 Stop barking at your brother 1.2796 0.05795 93 72 16 5
2330 No, you cannot let your tail hangout like Helmut! 1.2796 0.05590 93 71 18 4
2331 It’s a great life, son! Just ask Jasper! I wish I’d gotten neutered when I was your age! 1.2796 0.05795 93 72 16 5
2332 What? He's the one who brings home the bacon, Timmy! 1.2796 0.05795 93 72 16 5
2333 You’re the bad boy, HE’S the good boy. 1.2796 0.05590 93 71 18 4
2334 Don’t be mad. You don’t have to get dressed up for obedience school. 1.2796 0.05154 93 69 22 2
2335 It’s ok Teddy, you can fetch the next one. 1.2796 0.05376 93 70 20 3
2336 Now apologize for calling your big brother “just a dog.” 1.2796 0.05590 93 71 18 4
2337 Silly Billy, people don’t use the bathroom outside 1.2796 0.05590 93 71 18 4
2338 What? Don’t be silly. Of course I don’t love you equally. 1.2796 0.05590 93 71 18 4
2339 Sorry to break it to you like this: you were adopted. 1.2796 0.05154 93 69 22 2
2340 Son, he IS your brother - you’ve got to take turns with the dress clothes!! 1.2796 0.05795 93 72 16 5
2341 When are you going to start acting more like your brother? 1.2796 0.05795 93 72 16 5
2342 Yes it was your suit, but it fits him so much better. 1.2791 0.05646 86 65 18 3
2343 but Spike, Percy responded to every command! 1.2791 0.06111 86 67 14 5
2344 Remember how you used dress for school? Your friend Fido is here to remind you. 1.2788 0.05372 104 80 19 5
2345 Jimmy, the suit is too small for you now. 1.2788 0.05195 104 79 21 4
2346 Son meet our new therapy dog, Scooter! 1.2788 0.04625 104 76 27 1
2347 I'm sorry your sister bit you but it's just her natural instinct. 1.2788 0.05543 104 81 17 6
2348 When you learn to obey, you get your room back. 1.2784 0.05231 97 73 21 3
2349 Just because he is a good boy doesn't mean he is a great boy. 1.2778 0.05480 90 68 19 3
2350 We are sending Rocky to Law school unless you want to grab my hand and walk back home. 1.2778 0.05480 90 68 19 3
2351 It’ll be alright buddy, we will take your suit off the dog right after the Christmas card photo. 1.2778 0.05480 90 68 19 3
2352 You need to show more respect Max - in dog years he just became your older brother." 1.2778 0.05918 90 70 15 5
2353 Why can’t you be more like your brother, Spot? 1.2778 0.05703 90 69 17 4
2354 Well, maybe you could try to be a good boy, too. 1.2778 0.05918 90 70 15 5
2355 Yes, he's a dog, but he was here first. 1.2778 0.05918 90 70 15 5
2356 I know you loved it, but, you've outgrown the suit. It's your little brother's turn now. 1.2778 0.05918 90 70 15 5
2357 Hey hey...obedience school is a private education and look what it did for your brother. 1.2778 0.05918 90 70 15 5
2358 Now you BOTH have to keep your clothes on when we go to the store. 1.2778 0.05918 90 70 15 5
2359 Look at it this way--you're not a son-of-a-bitch! 1.2778 0.05918 90 70 15 5
2360 Come on Billy, he let you fetch his stick. 1.2778 0.05480 90 68 19 3
2361 Dog-on it, it is HUMANLY possible to love you both the same! 1.2778 0.05703 90 69 17 4
2362 Hey, it could be worse. You could be wearing HIS hand-me-downs. 1.2778 0.05703 90 69 17 4
2363 He is allowed to say that word because his mother is one. 1.2778 0.06126 90 71 13 6
2364 When you are house trained, you can have nice clothes, too. 1.2778 0.05247 90 67 21 2
2365 I'd be flattered if someone thought I was twins with Rover! 1.2778 0.05703 90 69 17 4
2366 When you're 30 you can wear a suit too. 1.2778 0.05918 90 70 15 5
2367 Just because you were rescued doesn't mean we love you any less. 1.2778 0.05004 90 66 23 1
2368 Now, Johnny, Artemis doesn’t care that you ate his homework again, but I say it’s got to stop. 1.2778 0.05247 90 67 21 2
2369 Billy, I know you don't like crapping in the yard and eating from bowls on the floor but everyone in this family is equal 1.2778 0.05480 90 68 19 3
2370 And if you learn to retrieve you can dress up like this too. 1.2778 0.05247 90 67 21 2
2371 It's too small for you anyway and besides its not your color. 1.2778 0.05703 90 69 17 4
2372 But you said you wanted a puppy! 1.2778 0.05703 90 69 17 4
2373 Listen little man, if buddy here is willing to go fetch random things for me, I think you can too. 1.2778 0.05247 90 67 21 2
2374 It's official!!! Animals are now people! 1.2778 0.05703 90 69 17 4
2375 You’re my real “Best Friend” 1.2778 0.05480 90 68 19 3
2376 The 2 of you need to shake hands! 1.2778 0.05480 90 68 19 3
2377 Come on, Donald. Stop your temper tantrump and start abidening by the rules like Joe here. 1.2778 0.05480 90 68 19 3
2378 I know how you must feel, but who’s a good boy? 1.2778 0.05247 90 67 21 2
2379 Be nice to your new brother, Buddy 1.2778 0.05247 90 67 21 2
2380 That sounded very speciesist. You don't want to go on record as a speciesist, do you Tommy? 1.2778 0.05918 90 70 15 5
2381 He loved obedience school. Maybe you should give it a try. 1.2778 0.05247 90 67 21 2
2382 Don’t worry buddy, you can be man’s second best friend. 1.2778 0.05480 90 68 19 3
2383 It's just that your brother is species fluid 1.2778 0.05918 90 70 15 5
2384 I only have room in my life for one best friend. 1.2778 0.06126 90 71 13 6
2385 Just because he has a college fund and you don't is no reason to be mad. 1.2778 0.05703 90 69 17 4
2386 That’s not true, son. I love you just as much. 1.2778 0.05703 90 69 17 4
2387 Be grateful you're too big for hand-me-downs. 1.2778 0.05703 90 69 17 4
2388 No, we can't go the flea market today. You know that your brother would be terrierfied to go there! 1.2778 0.05918 90 70 15 5
2389 Son, I know this is your favorite outfit, but there's going to be a dog at the White House again and we need to let him celebrate however he wants to. 1.2778 0.05480 90 68 19 3
2390 Son, I hate to tell you this but you are adopted. 1.2778 0.05918 90 70 15 5
2391 Mr. Fauntlerory will apologize for stealing your Twinkie if you apologize for lighting a fire-cracker in his hind end. 1.2778 0.05918 90 70 15 5
2392 I’m going to tell him that he’s adopted! 1.2778 0.05918 90 70 15 5
2393 Don't worry; when YOU finish obedience school, you'll get a new suit, too. 1.2778 0.05480 90 68 19 3
2394 Oh look at that, they fit better on your big brother. 1.2778 0.06126 90 71 13 6
2395 And your new friend already wears "big boy" pants! 1.2778 0.05703 90 69 17 4
2396 Not your DNA Daddy.. Sorry... 1.2778 0.05703 90 69 17 4
2397 Wow, potty training and dressing herself! What can you do? 1.2778 0.05918 90 70 15 5
2398 ...but you said you wanted a dog and a baby brother... 1.2778 0.05703 90 69 17 4
2399 Don’t be jealous, The suit is from the Salvation Army. 1.2778 0.05918 90 70 15 5
2400 So what he's wearing your fancy clothes? It's not like you're graduating kindergarten anytime soon. 1.2778 0.05703 90 69 17 4
2401 Why, of course neither of you is adopted. 1.2778 0.05918 90 70 15 5
2402 Jimmy, you'll always be son. But you'll never be my best friend. 1.2778 0.05703 90 69 17 4
2403 How does ‘man’s second-best friend’ sound? 1.2778 0.05918 90 70 15 5
2404 Cheer up, he'll be done with your suit as soon as the show is over. 1.2778 0.05918 90 70 15 5
2405 Your adopted sister is here to stay...and lay down...and roll over. 1.2778 0.05918 90 70 15 5
2406 They are out of tails, but how about a bicycle? 1.2778 0.05918 90 70 15 5
2407 Unlike you he knows how to be a good boy. 1.2778 0.05480 90 68 19 3
2408 And if you can't control your behavior, we'll have to send you to obedience school like we did with Baxter here. 1.2778 0.05918 90 70 15 5
2409 He's not going to school with you, just a little misunderstanding when I mentioned we'd be boarding him. 1.2778 0.05703 90 69 17 4
2410 Hey, it happens. I'll hose off those Air Jordans and bring out your old sneakers 1.2778 0.05247 90 67 21 2
2411 I hate to break it to you, but you’re not twins. He was adopted. 1.2778 0.05004 90 66 23 1
2412 If Rover can dress up for math class on Zoom, you can too. 1.2778 0.05480 90 68 19 3
2413 Go be friendly and sniff his backside too. 1.2778 0.05918 90 70 15 5
2414 Hold your pee till we get home, outside is his toilet, not yours! 1.2778 0.05004 90 66 23 1
2415 Once you quit playing XBOX and become more socialized like Fred here, then you can go back to school with your friends. 1.2778 0.05703 90 69 17 4
2416 He is our favorite, but don't worry, you will get all the chocolate” 1.2778 0.05918 90 70 15 5
2417 Son, I no longer relate to human beings. 1.2778 0.05703 90 69 17 4
2418 Dad, I still think you should be asking more questions when Mommy goes to dog park. 1.2778 0.05918 90 70 15 5
2419 Yes, George, you’re older, but Pepper‘s instagram channel has way more followers than yours and pays all our bills. So he gets the bigger room in the new house. 1.2778 0.05918 90 70 15 5
2420 It *IS* fair, because the clothes no longer fit you and I love him more. See? 1.2778 0.05703 90 69 17 4
2421 I know it’s hard to accept, Tommy, but yes — mom and I did see you as the practice puppy. 1.2778 0.05127 90 69 18 3
2422 You’ll love the new JCrew ensemble I have in store for you, too, junior! 1.2778 0.05703 90 69 17 4
2423 Well, technically yes he is. He’s also the son of me. By adoption. 1.2778 0.05703 90 69 17 4
2424 There can be only one good boy in the family. 1.2778 0.05247 90 67 21 2
2425 It was your turn to pick last week. We're going to the dog park because it's Woofbert's request. 1.2778 0.05480 90 68 19 3
2426 Just bottle up that anger, it’s the only thing you can do that he can’t! 1.2778 0.05004 90 66 23 1
2427 Okay, if we quietly tip-toe into 2021, maybe 2020 won’t follow us. 1.2778 0.05918 90 70 15 5
2428 We wish we could afford to send you both but don’t worry, the public school system is excellent here, Johnny” 1.2778 0.05480 90 68 19 3
2429 Now son, the election is over - Major gets the twitter account 1.2778 0.05918 90 70 15 5
2430 And now, you....sit! 1.2778 0.05703 90 69 17 4
2431 Now, be a good boy like Benji. 1.2778 0.05703 90 69 17 4
2432 You should try and be more like your little brother" 1.2778 0.05918 90 70 15 5
2433 See, your brother wants to go to the park. 1.2778 0.05703 90 69 17 4
2434 Now Johnny, the elite obedience school admissions were based on relative qualifications. 1.2772 0.05472 101 78 18 5
2435 You can’t punch your brother just because he growled at you. 1.2771 0.05766 83 63 17 3
2436 Yes, he'll always be able to bark. 1.2771 0.05766 83 63 17 3
2437 I promise you when you are a grownup you might understand. 1.2768 0.05702 112 90 13 9
2438 Party Dress vs. Daily Look 1.2766 0.05538 94 72 18 4
2439 Of course, I love you as just much as Bowser, now run and fetch that stick again. 1.2766 0.05538 94 72 18 4
2440 When you learn "Sit!" you can have nice clothes. 1.2766 0.05538 94 72 18 4
2441 That problems’s been solved, Henry’s wearing a diaper. 1.2766 0.05538 94 72 18 4
2442 Stop complaining. You'll look good in a dog collar, and you can pee anywhere you like. 1.2766 0.05538 94 72 18 4
2443 We love you both the same, but we like him a lot more 1.2766 0.05936 94 74 14 6
2444 The bitch set me up.” 1.2766 0.05936 94 74 14 6
2445 No - cloning isn’t perfect yet 1.2766 0.05936 94 74 14 6
2446 Who's dressed like a little bitch, now? 1.2766 0.05936 94 74 14 6
2447 He passed obedience training, that's why. 1.2766 0.05741 94 73 16 5
2448 Obedience school might be just the thing for you too! 1.2766 0.05327 94 71 20 3
2449 your brother has feelings too 1.2766 0.05538 94 72 18 4
2450 I’m sorry Jimmy, but you and your brother need to get tested again, there’s a new strain going around...COVID-K9-teen. 1.2766 0.05936 94 74 14 6
2451 Turns out home-schooling the dog is a breeze 1.2766 0.05327 94 71 20 3
2452 I don't HAVE a favorite, Tommy! 1.2766 0.05327 94 71 20 3
2453 Online school is hard, buddy, but we can only afford a tutor for one of you. 1.2766 0.05108 94 70 22 2
2454 If Lucy can get into a prestigious school in New York City, so can you. You just have to pretend you’re someone you’re not. 1.2747 0.06066 91 72 13 6
2455 Don't be jealous, he's just my FUR baby. You're my skin baby. 1.2747 0.05428 91 69 19 3
2456 You'd be surprised which one of you is my real son. 1.2747 0.06264 91 73 11 7
2457 I know you don't want to go to Obedience School, but look what it did for Bartholomew. 1.2747 0.05649 91 70 17 4
2458 I bought you AND the boy matching outfits. 1.2747 0.05861 91 71 15 5
2459 If you wanted us to buy you nice clothes, you should have been more respectful with your mask, like your brother was. 1.2747 0.05428 91 69 19 3
2460 Im your son, not him 1.2747 0.04958 91 67 23 1
2461 Son, this is Vanessa! We met online at OkStupid! 1.2747 0.06264 91 73 11 7
2462 Okay I will put ice cubes on your water dish 1.2745 0.05601 102 80 16 6
2463 Now, now don't pout Fredrick, I haven't even explained how he's your step-brother yet. 1.2737 0.05687 95 74 16 5
2464 I know your sister is a bitch, but we still love her. 1.2737 0.05881 95 75 14 6
2465 Yes,but you can pee with both feet on the ground. 1.2737 0.05687 95 74 16 5
2466 I know you're mad Billy, but you know mom and I have told you our priorities have changed in quarantine 1.2737 0.05881 95 75 14 6
2467 Well Fido can't go to school with you but at least he can wear the outfit Granny picked out for your first day! 1.2737 0.05062 95 71 22 2
2468 You don't have to give the stick back either! 1.2737 0.05687 95 74 16 5
2469 What can I say, your stepmom’s a bitch. 1.2737 0.05279 95 72 20 3
2470 Good boy! Now give me your paw and let's go for a walk! 1.2737 0.05279 95 72 20 3
2471 We don’t make those kind of distinctions in this family. 1.2737 0.05487 95 73 18 4
2472 Would you rather not ask these questions and just play fetch! 1.2737 0.05279 95 72 20 3
2473 You're both good boys! 1.2727 0.05535 88 67 18 3
2474 Now listen Timmy, no chewing on furniture or running after cars while your new friend is here.” 1.2727 0.05535 88 67 18 3
2475 Sniffing is their way of saying hello. 1.2727 0.05041 88 65 22 1
2476 I don't want to hear anymore about you being the only child. 1.2727 0.05294 88 66 20 2
2477 Sorry son but kids can’t go to obedience school. 1.2727 0.05766 88 68 16 4
2478 It’s ok you’re adopted too. 1.2727 0.05766 88 68 16 4
2479 I brought a plastic bag in case you have to go. 1.2727 0.05294 88 66 20 2
2480 'Trust me, dressing up for Grandma's visit will get you something a lot better than a dog biscuit." 1.2727 0.05988 88 69 14 5
2481 Sit, David. 1.2727 0.05535 88 67 18 3
2482 Woofie's not the only one who's adopted. 1.2727 0.05294 88 66 20 2
2483 Just because he's the top dog doesn't give you the right to bitch about it. 1.2727 0.05766 88 68 16 4
2484 Well, you said you didn't want a little sister. 1.2727 0.05294 88 66 20 2
2485 I'm sorry, barking will not get you more attention. 1.2727 0.05535 88 67 18 3
2486 J Crew turned into a pet rescue and look what I got! 1.2727 0.05294 88 66 20 2
2487 I'm sorry Spot is smarter than you at your age 1.2727 0.05535 88 67 18 3
2488 What are you gonna do, kid? Bite me? 1.2727 0.05535 88 67 18 3
2489 He can't help being a good boy, it's in his pedigree. 1.2727 0.05535 88 67 18 3
2490 I love you both as much, just differently. 1.2727 0.05766 88 68 16 4
2491 Come on,now. Shake his paw. It was a fair fight. He just has a lower center of gravity than you. 1.2727 0.05294 88 66 20 2
2492 You’ll like him better as a brother than a pet. 1.2727 0.05535 88 67 18 3
2493 Well, in dog years, he is older than you. 1.2727 0.05294 88 66 20 2
2494 You can have ice cream when you learn to fetch my slippers. 1.2727 0.05337 99 76 19 4
2495 Look how nicely your brother is behaving.... 1.2727 0.05766 88 68 16 4
2496 Now who's happy to have that silly cone off of their head? 1.2727 0.05535 88 67 18 3
2497 Now Tommy play nice. He’s all bark and no bite. 1.2727 0.05766 88 68 16 4
2498 I told you not to leave treats in your coat pockets,Now look what happened. 1.2727 0.05710 99 78 15 6
2499 Come on, you’re still the pick of the litter. 1.2727 0.05294 88 66 20 2
2500 You're just imagining that Bailey's getting more attention! 1.2727 0.05294 88 66 20 2
2501 You're lucky i'm not using a leash 1.2727 0.05766 88 68 16 4
2502 When you're grown up he'll be your best friend, too. 1.2727 0.05988 88 69 14 5
2503 Get your leash. 1.2727 0.05766 88 68 16 4
2504 Pandemic version of play date 2020 1.2727 0.05710 99 78 15 6
2505 He says fetch is so been there done that. 1.2727 0.05766 88 68 16 4
2506 Sorry son, he's 'man's best friend,' not 'kid's best friend' 1.2727 0.05294 88 66 20 2
2507 When you learn how to jump through the hoop then you can get ice cream. 1.2727 0.05535 88 67 18 3
2508 You don't have to bark if you don't want to 1.2727 0.05535 88 67 18 3
2509 Frisky needs to use your iPad for his remote learning too. 1.2727 0.05766 88 68 16 4
2510 Remember how I said that 2021 would be a different year? 1.2727 0.05988 88 69 14 5
2511 Remember you are the one who wanted a puppy. 1.2727 0.05766 88 68 16 4
2512 Actually, kiddo, you’re adopted. 1.2727 0.05535 88 67 18 3
2513 If you don’t want to hold my hand, I’ll have to get the leash. 1.2727 0.05988 88 69 14 5
2514 He’s got better clothes because he has to go to school. 1.2727 0.05535 88 67 18 3
2515 Come on son. You didn't like school anyway. 1.2727 0.05766 88 68 16 4
2516 Come meet your obedience teacher. 1.2727 0.05535 88 67 18 3
2517 With those fancy duds, I can't ask him to roll over. 1.2727 0.05535 88 67 18 3
2518 He’s only a puppy.Hence the new trick 1.2727 0.05535 88 67 18 3
2519 What's this about a bone to pick? 1.2727 0.05988 88 69 14 5
2520 But he’ll never steal your girlfriend. 1.2727 0.05988 88 69 14 5
2521 You too could be a good boy! 1.2727 0.05294 88 66 20 2
2522 C'mon, son, you'll love it! Look what kindergarten did for Muffy. 1.2727 0.05766 88 68 16 4
2523 But sweetie, you know he was better at Stay! 1.2727 0.06203 88 70 12 6
2524 Mr. Jones would never eat your homework, dear. 1.2727 0.05535 88 67 18 3
2525 Let’s go meet your new baby sister! 1.2727 0.06203 88 70 12 6
2526 Sorry, he can catch and return the ball better than you, but you are so much better at bat that we're making you the designated hitter! 1.2727 0.05535 88 67 18 3
2527 You thought your yo- yo trick was cool, but this is how you really walk the dog. 1.2727 0.05766 88 68 16 4
2528 Dogginit Buster—why can’t you behave more like your litter brothers and sisters? 1.2727 0.05988 88 69 14 5
2529 Look, Junior. He's not as needy as you. And he's trained. 1.2727 0.05988 88 69 14 5
2530 I promise we'll have your suit dry cleaned. 1.2727 0.05535 88 67 18 3
2531 You’re the adopted one! 1.2727 0.05988 88 69 14 5
2532 See Spot obey. 1.2727 0.05766 88 68 16 4
2533 Don't worry, you're still the top dog. 1.2727 0.05535 88 67 18 3
2534 You said you wanted a baby brother. 1.2727 0.05041 88 65 22 1
2535 Now now Joshua, what do we say when we call our playmate a son of a bitch? 1.2727 0.05988 88 69 14 5
2536 Mom's such a bitch! 1.2727 0.06610 88 72 8 8
2537 Yes, you were adopted. 1.2727 0.05988 88 69 14 5
2538 No, mom and dad don’t love your brother more 1.2727 0.05535 88 67 18 3
2539 He finished obedience school. You can too. 1.2727 0.05294 88 66 20 2
2540 Because of the unusual relationship with their family dog, Donald despised dogs in later life. 1.2727 0.05535 88 67 18 3
2541 But this is how I can give you a baby brother after mommy left. 1.2727 0.05535 88 67 18 3
2542 Who's a good boy? That's right, he's a good boy. 1.2727 0.05766 88 68 16 4
2543 If Rocky wins the contest, you get a new tricycle! 1.2727 0.05988 88 69 14 5
2544 Hey now, no one ever said life is fair! 1.2727 0.05535 88 67 18 3
2545 If Spot can learn to do his business outside, you can use the potty like a big boy. 1.2727 0.05535 88 67 18 3
2546 Mommy and I exchanged your cool guns for a doggy suit for chippy!! 1.2727 0.05535 88 67 18 3
2547 No you can’t be called Fido. HE’S Fido. 1.2727 0.05527 99 77 17 5
2548 Man's best dressed friend. 1.2727 0.05766 88 68 16 4
2549 No,Peter, I'm not going to make you dress up like Fido! 1.2727 0.05766 88 68 16 4
2550 Daddy, boy, dog! 1.2727 0.05766 88 68 16 4
2551 You could learn a lot from your dog. " Sit... Stay...QUIET! " 1.2727 0.05766 88 68 16 4
2552 Your insult didn't land because 'bitch' also means 'female dog.'" 1.2727 0.05535 88 67 18 3
2553 I promise. Next time you will get your turn to sleep in the kennel. 1.2727 0.05535 88 67 18 3
2554 You’ll understand when you have your own. 1.2727 0.06203 88 70 12 6
2555 Yeah, yeah, he walks on two feet but has four. Big deal. You didn't fall off your trike yesterday, that was very good! 1.2727 0.05766 88 68 16 4
2556 And when you’re a good boy, you can get a treat too. 1.2727 0.05527 99 77 17 5
2557 Why must I always have his hand-me-downs?” 1.2727 0.06203 88 70 12 6
2558 You have school from K-12. He's only K-9. 1.2727 0.05294 88 66 20 2
2559 Remember who pays for your PS5, Timmy. We wouldn’t have our reality show without a talking dog. 1.2727 0.05766 88 68 16 4
2560 Come on Timmy. Do you want to go for a walk? 1.2727 0.06203 88 70 12 6
2561 You can sleep inside again when *you’re* a good boy, okay?” 1.2727 0.05041 88 65 22 1
2562 Somebody is not getting a treat cookie 1.2727 0.05766 88 68 16 4
2563 Who rescued who? 1.2727 0.05535 88 67 18 3
2564 Son, just look at Sparkles. Look how friggin psyched he is. Now THAT'S the confidence a school uniform brings you. You're gonna be--how do you kids say--cool af! 1.2727 0.05535 88 67 18 3
2565 If you wear the matching suit, you don’t need to sit through the whole family Zoom call 1.2727 0.05988 88 69 14 5
2566 I know he gets more toys but look at how cute he is 1.2727 0.05766 88 68 16 4
2567 He is just more of a good boy than you are. 1.2727 0.05766 88 68 16 4
2568 You will understand when you are my age 1.2727 0.05535 88 67 18 3
2569 stop crying or no more treats for you. 1.2727 0.06410 88 71 10 7
2570 now THIS is what a good boy looks like 1.2727 0.05294 88 66 20 2
2571 Donny, behave or you will go to French obedience school with your brother. 1.2717 0.04913 92 73 15 4
2572 why did you call your sister a bitch??? 1.2717 0.05595 92 71 17 4
2573 He wants to say he's sorry for eating you're pet mouse. 1.2717 0.05377 92 70 19 3
2574 He says you're not properly attired to play fetch, Tommy. 1.2717 0.05150 92 69 21 2
2575 Well Johny, we can only afford to send one of you to a private school and quite frankly Rex is showing more promise. 1.2717 0.05377 92 70 19 3
2576 Come on now, apologize and sniff butts. 1.2717 0.05150 92 69 21 2
2577 He's better behaved, so he gets to wear the suit and you get to wear your scruffies. 1.2717 0.05595 92 71 17 4
2578 You're gonna love obedience school as much as your brother. 1.2717 0.05804 92 72 15 5
2579 Don't worry. The public schools here are great! 1.2717 0.05377 92 70 19 3
2580 Believe me, I wish we could send you off to obedience school too. 1.2716 0.05830 81 62 16 3
2581 Obedience school will be so much fun! 1.2716 0.06089 81 63 14 4
2582 You can wear the suit tomorrow. Deal? 1.2716 0.06089 81 63 14 4
2583 Son, say sorry to your brother for making fun of his outfit. 1.2716 0.06337 81 64 12 5
2584 But dad, why does he get to go out without wearing a mask? 1.2716 0.05830 81 62 16 3
2585 He’s getting the inheritance too 1.2716 0.06089 81 63 14 4
2586 I asked “who’s a good boy?” and he came back like this! 1.2716 0.05559 81 61 18 2
2587 Come on, Jimmy. You know he looks better in it than you do. 1.2708 0.05231 96 73 20 3
2588 He graduated from obedience school at the top of his class. 1.2708 0.05437 96 74 18 4
2589 Don't cry, I'm sure someone will adopt you when we drop you off at the pound. 1.2706 0.05891 85 66 15 4
2590 Yes, your Eddy Munster outfit had to be altered to accommodate his tail. 1.2700 0.05096 100 76 21 3
2591 This might be a good time to tell you you’re adopted. 1.2700 0.05291 100 77 19 4
2592 You said you wanted a little brother and Teddy is house broken 1.2700 0.05660 100 79 15 6
2593 You know how you wanted a dog and a new brother....? 1.2697 0.05481 89 68 18 3
2594 Don’t throw a tantrum! It’s only puppy love. 1.2697 0.05481 89 68 18 3
2595 Now Billy, everyone deserves a chance to be a biped. 1.2697 0.05481 89 68 18 3
2596 Don't make me get the leash. 1.2697 0.05929 89 70 14 5
2597 Well, two reasons. First, that little suit doesn’t fit you any more, and, B, I’m going a little stir crazy. 1.2697 0.05709 89 69 16 4
2598 Sorry, I’m moving, and they don’t allow kids. 1.2697 0.05929 89 70 14 5
2599 Look, just because he’s smarter, faster, stronger, and better-behaved, doesn’t mean you should be jealous: after all, you do have opposable thumbs... 1.2697 0.05929 89 70 14 5
2600 Why can’t you be a good dog like your brother? 1.2697 0.05709 89 69 16 4
2601 This is doggy style, son. 1.2697 0.06140 89 71 12 6
2602 Before you get angry, think about how weird this is *for him*. 1.2697 0.05481 89 68 18 3
2603 I am sure fido will let you wear the outfit sometimes 1.2697 0.04993 89 66 22 1
2604 I thought you wanted Mr. Bickels to take your place at Grandma's. 1.2697 0.05709 89 69 16 4
2605 Timmy, don't you think you should show Judy where you buried her bone? 1.2697 0.05481 89 68 18 3
2606 Who's a good boy? You are! Now, can you just heel for Daddy like Sparky is doing? 1.2697 0.05243 89 67 20 2
2607 Don't be sad - an overpriced, overprivileged private elementary school isn't for everyone. 1.2697 0.05243 89 67 20 2
2608 He love walks, why do i have to go? 1.2697 0.05243 89 67 20 2
2609 Petsmart doesn't have your size. 1.2697 0.05243 89 67 20 2
2610 Your lineage just isn't as stellar. 1.2697 0.05481 89 68 18 3
2611 Now let's see if you can learn to bark." 1.2697 0.05709 89 69 16 4
2612 No Bobby, not all twins are identical 1.2697 0.05243 89 67 20 2
2613 C'mon! You know you're my favorite human kid. 1.2697 0.05596 89 70 13 5
2614 And that’s how I met your mother 1.2697 0.05243 89 67 20 2
2615 You are still my second favorite son. 1.2697 0.05709 89 69 16 4
2616 Now Spotty, the dog obeys me, let me see you do the same. 1.2697 0.05929 89 70 14 5
2617 Sorry son. It turns out eating your homework does make her smarter. 1.2697 0.05709 89 69 16 4
2618 Its not my fault he learned how to walk first 1.2697 0.05709 89 69 16 4
2619 There’s no reason for you to think that we don’t love you the same 1.2697 0.05709 89 69 16 4
2620 But you will never have to share your chocolates. 1.2697 0.05481 89 68 18 3
2621 It’s either this or I put you both on leashes. 1.2697 0.05709 89 69 16 4
2622 Jerry you know WE think you’re cute, it’s just that Carter gets so many more likes on Instagram 1.2697 0.05481 89 68 18 3
2623 He is mans best friend. 1.2697 0.05709 89 69 16 4
2624 This is your partner, but I warn you, she dances like she has two left feet. 1.2692 0.05962 78 60 15 3
2625 Cheer up, you’ll always be daddy’s number 2. 1.2688 0.05327 93 71 19 3
2626 We agreed this week you go to Crate Escape and Tippy goes to Great Start DayCare. 1.2688 0.05749 93 73 15 5
2627 Be cool. You're still our baby, even if you don't have fur. 1.2688 0.05749 93 73 15 5
2628 He was playing with the bone first. 1.2688 0.05103 93 70 21 2
2629 Every suit has its day 1.2688 0.05542 93 72 17 4
2630 Life’s a bitch...and so is your sibling! 1.2688 0.05949 93 74 13 6
2631 It's time you learned to pick up your own shit. 1.2680 0.05956 97 78 12 7
2632 I don’t care what he says; you were not adopted, and we love you just as much as your brother. 1.2680 0.05185 97 74 20 3
2633 :" C'mon, let's go on a walk and see how the new diapers work out, for both of you ! " 1.2680 0.05388 97 75 18 4
2634 Now, the only other thing he needs from you are your shoes. 1.2674 0.05830 86 67 15 4
2635 You'll explain why we celebrate his birthday six times as often as yours when you're older 1.2674 0.06060 86 68 13 5
2636 You’re right, Johnny. Your stepmother is a bitch. 1.2674 0.05830 86 67 15 4
2637 Don’t be jealous—I only dress him like this so I don’t get you confused. 1.2674 0.04801 86 63 23 0
2638 Of course Mommy and Daddy love you as much as Mr. Scooter. 1.2674 0.06060 86 68 13 5
2639 What’s in your paw, be a good boy and drop it. 1.2674 0.05591 86 66 17 3
2640 Of course Mommy and I don't love Rufus more than you do! We just think he has more potential. 1.2674 0.05078 86 64 21 1
2641 Well, HE was a good boy! 1.2674 0.05341 86 65 19 2
2642 Son, during the stay at home period the family all agreed he is top dog. 1.2674 0.05341 86 65 19 2
2643 Who's a good boy? That's right, he is! 1.2674 0.05591 86 66 17 3
2644 You’ll get a suit next. 1.2674 0.05830 86 67 15 4
2645 I would give you fancy clothes also, if you would wear them. 1.2674 0.05078 86 64 21 1
2646 Now you get to dress like and pretend to be a dog! 1.2674 0.05591 86 66 17 3
2647 Yes, we're replacing you with the dog. We had to depend on someone after you told us you wanted to be and English major. 1.2674 0.05591 86 66 17 3
2648 I really think you should wear the leash. 1.2674 0.05591 86 66 17 3
2649 As soon as you catch a Frisbee in your teeth while sprinting, you’ll get a new suit too. 1.2674 0.05591 86 66 17 3
2650 Calling his mother a bitch may be technically correct but that doesn't mean you should disrespect her 1.2674 0.05591 86 66 17 3
2651 I told him he could wear your dress-up suite if he promised to undo the appropriate buttons whenever we come upon a hydrant. 1.2674 0.05830 86 67 15 4
2652 Next time, I'll let you dress yourself too! 1.2674 0.05591 86 66 17 3
2653 Timmy, meet your new schoolmate! And she's already potty-trained, so I'm hoping she can teach you a thing or two... 1.2674 0.05078 86 64 21 1
2654 Son, he didn't know it was your cookie. Look, he got all dressed up to make a formal apology! That's no tale!! 1.2674 0.05830 86 67 15 4
2655 Do some of the feelings you have toward your new brother have more to do with your stepmom? 1.2674 0.05341 86 65 19 2
2656 He can even bark in five languages! 1.2674 0.05078 86 64 21 1
2657 Don't cry....somebody has to go to public school. 1.2674 0.06060 86 68 13 5
2658 He has fur, so it’s okay for him to go barefoot and wear shorts in the wintertime. Besides, he doesn’t begrudge you your opposable thumbs, does he? 1.2674 0.05830 86 67 15 4
2659 HE doesn't wet the bed at night. 1.2674 0.05078 86 64 21 1
2660 If you just lend him your Birkenstocks, he's a cinch for Best in Show. 1.2674 0.05341 86 65 19 2
2661 Hey Timmy I already have one bitch of a child , I don’t need another ok pal? 1.2674 0.06282 86 69 11 6
2662 Lassie is ready for the responsibility. She promises to feed you in the morning and evening and take you out for bathroom breaks three times a day. 1.2674 0.05341 86 65 19 2
2663 While the position as favorite child has been filled, we've got a great new opening as family pet. 1.2674 0.05341 86 65 19 2
2664 And when you're housebroken, you can be a good little boy, too. 1.2674 0.05341 86 65 19 2
2665 I thought we were past the leash! Why can't you be more like your brother? 1.2674 0.06060 86 68 13 5
2666 Don't be jealous, Bobby - Scout hasn't figured out how to tie his shoes yet. 1.2674 0.05591 86 66 17 3
2667 C'mon; imagine what a few weeks at Obedience School can do for you. 1.2674 0.05830 86 67 15 4
2668 Son! Even though your mom calls Fido her baby, she still loves you. 1.2674 0.06060 86 68 13 5
2669 For the last time, you can't get neutered like you brother... 1.2674 0.05830 86 67 15 4
2670 Be nice Buddy, everyone in our pod gets treated the same. 1.2674 0.05591 86 66 17 3
2671 okay, big guy, you know the drill. head on over to that ageless, well-dressed professional woman and do something adorably helpless. cry out for momma, chocolate on your face, whatever. then I come up and hit on her. then Baxter snatches her iPhone. 1.2674 0.05591 86 66 17 3
2672 I told you to never call your sister a dog-face again! 1.2674 0.05591 86 66 17 3
2673 Yes, your stepmother is technically a bitch, but I’d like you to stop calling her that. 1.2674 0.06060 86 68 13 5
2674 Don't cry buddy, when you get toilet trained you'll get a little blue suit too. 1.2674 0.05341 86 65 19 2
2675 Come along now, boarding school is not that bad, its done wonders for Charles! 1.2674 0.06282 86 69 11 6
2676 'It's just that private schools have dress codes' 1.2674 0.05591 86 66 17 3
2677 H can teach you to play Chess." 1.2674 0.05341 86 65 19 2
2678 You will always be my best boy, but face it- the dog is a man's best friend. 1.2674 0.05078 86 64 21 1
2679 Don’t worry little buddy, you’re my second best friend! 1.2674 0.05830 86 67 15 4
2680 You'll always have my unconditional love. What we're going for is unconditional likes. 1.2674 0.05591 86 66 17 3
2681 He'll chase a stick but insists first he changes into his romper. 1.2674 0.06060 86 68 13 5
2682 Your fur brother has 2 million insta followers now, so he has designer sponsors. Pandemic puppy influencers are trending! 1.2674 0.05591 86 66 17 3
2683 Yes, son, you are 6 years old and Barkley is only 1, but that's HUMAN years. In dog years, Barkley is 7, and you're still only 6. THAT'S why Barkley is being confirmed today and you're not! 1.2674 0.05591 86 66 17 3
2684 I promise you can play on your phone, after we take your brother to his last audition. 1.2674 0.05211 86 67 16 3
2685 Oh Billy. You’ll always be trending to me and your mother. 1.2674 0.05591 86 66 17 3
2686 hey buddy!.... be good like your brother and you will have a crunchy too 1.2674 0.05830 86 67 15 4
2687 Shorts aren’t your thing anyway. 1.2674 0.05591 86 66 17 3
2688 Relax bud! Once you’ve ditched that lockdown lard you can have them back. 1.2674 0.06496 86 70 9 7
2689 Now be a good boy, and I'll give you a treat. 1.2674 0.06060 86 68 13 5
2690 No, you have to go inside to do that. 1.2674 0.06060 86 68 13 5
2691 ‘sorry buddy, you gotta wait out here - no children allowed in the store.’ 1.2674 0.05830 86 67 15 4
2692 Of course we still love you and next year you'll be old enough for Obedience School too. 1.2673 0.05610 101 80 15 6
2693 Learn from your brother, son 1.2667 0.06281 90 73 10 7
2694 No, Tim, you make YOUR First Holy Communion next year! 1.2667 0.05428 90 69 18 3
2695 Joey, if you lick your bowl clean, we'll get you a little suit too! 1.2667 0.05428 90 69 18 3
2696 No, you don’t get a treat for sitting. 1.2667 0.05870 90 71 14 5
2697 Don’t worry I love you both equally. 1.2660 0.05695 94 74 15 5
2698 Why all this hostility to your new stepmother? 1.2660 0.05695 94 74 15 5
2699 Yes, he may not be potty-trained, but he is my best friend. 1.2660 0.05490 94 73 17 4
2700 Ha Ha Charlie. Dogford is studying to be a priest . He would never sniff your butt. Now shake paws like a good boy. 1.2660 0.05695 94 74 15 5
2701 It’s ok Timmy! Toby will be Pope and you can be President! 1.2660 0.05892 94 75 13 6
2702 Sorry, Timmy, all the people obedience schools are online 1.2660 0.05695 94 74 15 5
2703 Meet your new little brother. 1.2660 0.04825 94 70 23 1
2704 Sorry, no, we can't watch All Dogs Go To Heaven any more. 1.2660 0.05056 94 71 21 2
2705 Woof woof. Woof woof woof. 1.2658 0.06423 79 63 11 5
2706 The entrance exam was extremely challenging. There a many fine public institutions for you to choose from. 1.2653 0.05340 98 76 18 4
2707 Go get your leash. Fair is fair. 1.2651 0.05707 83 64 16 3
2708 Don’t be upset; everyone gets stage fright at the fire hydrant some times 1.2647 0.05200 102 79 19 4
2709 Don't be a speciesist and say hello to your new brother. 1.2644 0.05288 87 66 19 2
2710 Yes, it's your suit; but you grew too big for it, and as you can see, it fits Chester fine. 1.2644 0.05998 87 69 13 5
2711 Now who's being a little bitch? 1.2644 0.06217 87 70 11 6
2712 Yes, you do have to wear shoes. 1.2644 0.05535 87 67 17 3
2713 He dressed up just for you! 1.2644 0.05771 87 68 15 4
2714 He no longer collects sticks. He's left all that behind him. 1.2644 0.05771 87 68 15 4
2715 I didn't get a new suit when I started walking! 1.2644 0.06217 87 70 11 6
2716 Why can't you act like our dog! 1.2644 0.05535 87 67 17 3
2717 You've been enrolled in Sparky's obedience school. 1.2644 0.05535 87 67 17 3
2718 I said I wanted a cat, not a pussy. 1.2644 0.06428 87 71 9 7
2719 Not Fired like a Dog,Donnie! hired as a friend- only one you can find in DC. 1.2644 0.05998 87 69 13 5
2720 It’s not that you’re not a good boy! 1.2644 0.05288 87 66 19 2
2721 Come meet your rescue sibling. 1.2644 0.05535 87 67 17 3
2722 Your brother doesn't mind wearing a suit. 1.2644 0.05029 87 65 21 1
2723 He'll never love me the way that he loves his weiner. 1.2644 0.06217 87 70 11 6
2724 I guess no one can compete with mans Bestfriend 1.2644 0.05535 87 67 17 3
2725 Be nice to your CRISPR sister! 1.2644 0.05771 87 68 15 4
2726 Yes - it is true Henry. You are adopted , Spot isn't. 1.2644 0.05998 87 69 13 5
2727 Don’t worry. You can have the top bunk! 1.2644 0.05535 87 67 17 3
2728 I’m sorry son, but it was either boarding school or the pound. 1.2644 0.05288 87 66 19 2
2729 He got in as a legacy because he’s a good boy. If you behave, maybe one day you will, too 1.2644 0.05029 87 64 21 1
2730 And he's smarter than you too... 1.2644 0.05535 87 67 17 3
2731 Just be grateful you don't have to sniff butts to greet people! 1.2644 0.05029 87 65 21 1
2732 When mommy had a big belly, you seemed happy. 1.2637 0.06218 91 74 10 7
2733 We like the dog more than you. 1.2632 0.05641 95 75 15 5
2734 You see son, you have to dress for the family role your want, not the one you have. 1.2632 0.05641 95 75 15 5
2735 Be a good boy and walk like Barkley 1.2626 0.05483 99 78 16 5
2736 ‘The way the dog looks is the way I feel’ 1.2625 0.06096 80 62 13 4
2737 Because obedience school has a strict dress code, and you’re still learning remotely. 1.2619 0.05648 84 65 16 3
2738 Hey, whoa! I love you both the same! 1.2619 0.05388 84 64 18 2
2739 Now that your brother identifies as canine, he's gonna get more 'good boys' than you. 1.2619 0.05648 84 65 16 3
2740 He's the Box-in winner ; he kept his Box cleaner. 1.2619 0.05115 84 63 20 1
2741 If you be good like your brother I'll give you wet food for dinner. 1.2619 0.06364 84 68 10 6
2742 C'mon, just a little bark. 1.2619 0.05896 84 66 14 4
2743 I love you just as much, but doggy was easier to train. 1.2619 0.05388 84 64 18 2
2744 The adoption agency said we could trade you in for a child from a ruff household. 1.2619 0.05388 84 64 18 2
2745 That's cat-talk, son. You apologise to Prince. 1.2619 0.05896 84 66 14 4
2746 Tomorrow you get to pick the snack, Timmy, and you can choose something besides freeze-dried lamb treats. 1.2619 0.05388 84 64 18 2
2747 It was your turn to play dress-up last week, Jason. 1.2619 0.05648 84 65 16 3
2748 I know you said you wanted a brother, but this is the best I can do---it's hard to get a date during the pandemic. 1.2619 0.05648 84 65 16 3
2749 If he can go to obedience school, so can you. 1.2619 0.06135 84 67 12 5
2750 Plenty of arranged marriages go on to be beautiful relationships... 1.2619 0.05648 84 65 16 3
2751 Go ahead. Ask him how his day was. 1.2619 0.05648 84 65 16 3
2752 Give me paw 1.2619 0.05648 84 65 16 3
2753 Don't worry Donald. If Fido wins, I'll just tell him he came in second. He won't mind." 1.2619 0.06364 84 68 10 6
2754 Hey give him a break. His school is now online too. 1.2619 0.05648 84 65 16 3
2755 C'mon Oliver... Be a good boy like Buddy. 1.2619 0.05388 84 64 18 2
2756 Stop acting like such a crypuppy. 1.2619 0.05388 84 64 18 2
2757 Yes he is our favorite, but we love you too. 1.2619 0.05388 84 64 18 2
2758 That’s ridiculous, parents don’t have favorites. I love you both the same. 1.2619 0.05648 84 65 16 3
2759 Question not he who walks with Dog, but submit to him in every way 1.2619 0.05648 84 65 16 3
2760 Now, Danny, if you don't stop biting people, we might have to put you down. 1.2619 0.05896 84 66 14 4
2761 Everyone in our 'bubble' is important. 1.2619 0.05648 84 65 16 3
2762 I don’t want to have to use the shock collar, but I will... 1.2619 0.06135 84 67 12 5
2763 He's going to church so we can watch the ballgame. 1.2619 0.06135 84 67 12 5
2764 Don't worry --he will give back your clothes as soon as he is done with obedience school 1.2619 0.05115 84 63 20 1
2765 Now, now, Mesa. If you want a bespoke outfit like Percy’s , we can arrange a fitting for you too!” 1.2619 0.05896 84 66 14 4
2766 Son maybe you should consider grooming as well. 1.2619 0.06135 84 67 12 5
2767 Doggone it, stop barking commands at your brother! 1.2619 0.05896 84 66 14 4
2768 Let’s play “dogs lives matter”. 1.2619 0.06364 84 68 10 6
2769 Sorry kid, I won him in the divorce. 1.2619 0.05388 84 64 18 2
2770 Sometimes I wish you were the adopted one. 1.2619 0.05388 84 64 18 2
2771 I was only kidding. We would never fix you like we fixed Winston. 1.2619 0.06135 84 67 12 5
2772 Let’s pretend the dog is your teacher while I’m in my work meeting. 1.2619 0.05648 84 65 16 3
2773 Obviously, he’s not the adopted one. 1.2619 0.05648 84 65 16 3
2774 Once you learn sit, shake, and roll over, you can have nice clothes, too. 1.2619 0.06135 84 67 12 5
2775 But you've outgrown this outfit. Besides, you hated wearing it! 1.2619 0.05896 84 66 14 4
2776 What do you mean," 'Don't hold my paw?' 1.2619 0.05648 84 65 16 3
2777 But Bobby, You outgrew that suit last year. 1.2619 0.05896 84 66 14 4
2778 When you’ve learned to be potty trained then you’ll be my favorite. 1.2619 0.06135 84 67 12 5
2779 C’mon, you want to be somebody’s best friend too, right? 1.2619 0.05648 84 65 16 3
2780 I know our lives suck. But think how cool this will look on Instaram! 1.2619 0.05648 84 65 16 3
2781 I know it's your favorite suit, but we had to cut the hole for his tail. 1.2619 0.05388 84 64 18 2
2782 Billy, I want you to meet our new dog. He’s a “good boy”. 1.2619 0.05896 84 66 14 4
2783 You get to wear the suit next weekend 1.2619 0.05896 84 66 14 4
2784 Don't be such a little Trump! 1.2619 0.05896 84 66 14 4
2785 Say hi to your new podmate, Max. 1.2619 0.05896 84 66 14 4
2786 I told you, Timmy. Only your brother can call mommy a bitch. 1.2619 0.05648 84 65 16 3
2787 Now Donald, be nice to your new friend. He's the only one you've got left. 1.2619 0.05648 84 65 16 3
2788 I know that having her as a sister can be a real bitch sometimes. 1.2619 0.05648 84 65 16 3
2789 You're a good boy, but he's a VERY good boy, yes he is, yes he is! 1.2619 0.05115 84 63 20 1
2790 While it is technically correct, you shouldn't call your fur sister the "B" word. 1.2619 0.05648 84 65 16 3
2791 Now shake hands,Ralph... there’s a good boy! 1.2619 0.05896 84 66 14 4
2792 Oscar can have a treat because he finished all his dinner. 1.2619 0.05115 84 63 20 1
2793 He'll mske a great little brother....but we'll loose the suit 1.2619 0.05519 84 67 13 4
2794 No, you're a bad boy 1.2619 0.05648 84 65 16 3
2795 We will no longer call Toby our wiener-dog, he is now Tobias Jr. 1.2619 0.05115 84 63 20 1
2796 You can do it! Look at Coco! 1.2619 0.05896 84 66 14 4
2797 But dad, he started it! 1.2619 0.05388 84 64 18 2
2798 Isn't this better than being on a leash? 1.2619 0.05896 84 66 14 4
2799 Now, Johnny, wouldn't you like to be a good boy and give Little Lord Fauntleroy that treat? 1.2619 0.05388 84 64 18 2
2800 Come on - be a good boy like your brother! 1.2619 0.05388 84 64 18 2
2801 See, Tippy dressed up to go see Grandma. 1.2619 0.05388 84 64 18 2
2802 It's just his way of getting to know you better. 1.2619 0.05648 84 65 16 3
2803 Why can’t you be a good boy like your little brother. Look how well behaved he is! 1.2619 0.05388 84 64 18 2
2804 I want to got to the butcher shop! 1.2619 0.05648 84 65 16 3
2805 Now be a good boy and change into your matching outfit for the pet look-a- like contest. 1.2619 0.05388 84 64 18 2
2806 Look, Donny, I'm telling you. You can yell and stomp your feet, and we can count again, if you want. But it will still be 364 days until your next birthday. 1.2619 0.06135 84 67 12 5
2807 Sorry, Tom, the adoption agency is on its way, we've found your replacement. 1.2619 0.05896 84 66 14 4
2808 Now now,set a good example for the fur baby. 1.2619 0.05896 84 66 14 4
2809 I know you want to play with puppy but these are his new school clothes and he can’t get them dirty. 1.2619 0.05388 84 64 18 2
2810 No, you don't have to sit, fetch and roll over to be my favorite, but you do have to wear Skippy's cute little suit. 1.2619 0.05648 84 65 16 3
2811 Come on, Teddy! Next week you get the sympathetic illustrator. 1.2619 0.05896 84 66 14 4
2812 You'll get treats for potty training, too, ok?! 1.2619 0.06135 84 67 12 5
2813 Listen, I’m as confused as you are but I swear he’s your biological brother. 1.2619 0.06135 84 67 12 5
2814 Of course I love you. Who wouldn't love an insolent little boy getting his feet wet in white male privilege? 1.2619 0.05896 84 66 14 4
2815 Jimmy, we all need to welcome Lord Wellington into our family. 1.2619 0.04826 84 62 22 0
2816 Don’t you want to be a good boy just like him? 1.2619 0.05388 84 64 18 2
2817 Looks like someone else needs obedience school! 1.2619 0.05115 84 63 20 1
2818 I understand your pain, but remain assured none of this will impact the chances of either of you to one day become president" 1.2619 0.05896 84 66 14 4
2819 C'mon! I promise I'll play fetch with just you tomorrow. 1.2619 0.05388 84 64 18 2
2820 You only ever call him a good boy, Dad. 1.2619 0.05648 84 65 16 3
2821 Your brother has done so well at obedience training! 1.2619 0.05388 84 64 18 2
2822 I said I wanted a little sister, not a little Setter 1.2619 0.06135 84 67 12 5
2823 I promise you won’t have to play fetch anymore. 1.2619 0.05896 84 66 14 4
2824 Shut it or you’ll end up at the taxidermist too! 1.2619 0.06364 84 68 10 6
2825 Day 8938 of COVID: Okay, you stay here with the babysitter and daddy's going jogging in the kitchen. Please. 1.2619 0.05896 84 66 14 4
2826 From the dogs perspective: “humans are so needy and unsophisticated. “ 1.2619 0.06135 84 67 12 5
2827 I opened his food with a can opener because he has paws — you’re on your own, kid. 1.2619 0.05388 84 64 18 2
2828 We discussed this Timmy, your brother’s older so he gets to wear the suit 1.2619 0.05388 84 64 18 2
2829 I know you want a treat, too, but you wouldn’t like the kind we give your brother. 1.2619 0.05648 84 65 16 3
2830 I‘m sorry, he‘s simply the better boy. It’s just a dog-eat-son world. 1.2619 0.05388 84 64 18 2
2831 You won't tell your mother about this, right? 1.2619 0.05388 84 64 18 2
2832 If Spot can sit for his Obedience School Zooms, you really have no excuse! 1.2619 0.05388 84 64 18 2
2833 Your brother was crate trained and look how good he turned out. 1.2619 0.06586 84 69 8 7
2834 We said we wouldn’t compare our children but Fido is a better listener. 1.2619 0.05388 84 64 18 2
2835 That’s the reason we call him Mr. Business son 1.2619 0.05388 84 64 18 2
2836 You’ll always be my first-born! 1.2619 0.05896 84 66 14 4
2837 Awe, don’t pout slugger. The dog will die in a few years, and then the suit will be yours! 1.2619 0.06135 84 67 12 5
2838 Due to virtual school, Tommy's back to school clothing budget was redirected to Rex. 1.2619 0.05648 84 65 16 3
2839 Rex can wait for ice cream, why can't you? 1.2614 0.04980 88 66 21 1
2840 When you get good grades in obedience school like Barkley, I will take you to the park too! 1.2614 0.05937 88 70 13 5
2841 He is at school today. You have remote! That’s why! 1.2614 0.05236 88 67 19 2
2842 I know his ball has spit on it, but you agreed it was a fair trade. 1.2614 0.05236 88 67 19 2
2843 You know I love you both the same. 1.2614 0.05480 88 68 17 3
2844 Buddy, he was best in show. You still eat boogers. 1.2614 0.05480 88 68 17 3
2845 Prince was much easier to train 1.2614 0.05713 88 69 15 4
2846 I'd bite your finger too if you put it in my mouth Charlie... 1.2614 0.04711 88 65 23 0
2847 Well, you said that you didn’t want those clothes 1.2614 0.04980 88 66 21 1
2848 Just one more time Billy, she loves when you roll-over. 1.2614 0.05480 88 68 17 3
2849 No, no, you looked great when you wore it, too. 1.2614 0.05236 88 67 19 2
2850 If he has his own Instagram account, why can’t I be on TikTok? 1.2614 0.05480 88 68 17 3
2851 now, play nice Jack 1.2614 0.05598 88 71 12 5
2852 You know he won’t wear a leash unless you do, too. 1.2614 0.05713 88 69 15 4
2853 This family is going to the animals!" 1.2609 0.05756 92 73 14 5
2854 Stop complaining or I’ll have to put you on a lead. 1.2609 0.05756 92 73 14 5
2855 That’s life, Donny. I like the dog better. 1.2609 0.05960 92 74 12 6
2856 You wouldn't want it anyways son - it's got a hole in it. 1.2609 0.05960 92 74 12 6
2857 She is a bitch. But she’s your mother, and you’ll show her the respect she deserves. 1.2609 0.05545 92 72 16 4
2858 Don’t worry son, we can always get you vaccinated next year. 1.2609 0.05756 92 73 14 5
2859 Well what did you expect,Billy? I told you it’s a houndstooth jacket. 1.2604 0.05182 96 74 19 3
2860 Soon as you count in dog years we’ll be best friends again, pinky promise 1.2604 0.05589 96 76 15 5
2861 If you don’t behave, Timmy, I’ll take you to the VET, just like I did with your brother.. 1.2603 0.06177 73 57 13 3
2862 Inside! Inside! Let's do your business inside! 1.2603 0.06177 73 57 13 3
2863 Now Timmy, I know you prefer off-leash, but it's Rex's turn to choose. 1.2603 0.06177 73 57 13 3
2864 Do you really want Spot to walk to school alone? 1.2603 0.05861 73 56 15 2
2865 I swear you weren't adopted. 1.2603 0.06177 73 57 13 3
2866 Well, when Mommy goes on her business trips, Daddy gets lonely. 1.2603 0.05861 73 56 15 2
2867 Jeremy's sorry - he thought you were old enough to know you're adopted. 1.2603 0.06177 73 57 13 3
2868 I know its not fair but if he wants to go to school in his pajamas this once, I think we should let him. 1.2603 0.06177 73 57 13 3
2869 Who's my second favorite little boy? 1.2603 0.06765 73 59 9 5
2870 Virtual obedience school has been much more effective than virtual learning... 1.2603 0.05861 73 56 15 2
2871 Go on Billy. Put on your Buster Brown suit. You and Max will get a million “likes” on Facebook.” 1.2603 0.05861 73 56 15 2
2872 Only dog suits get tail holes,Timmy. 1.2603 0.05861 73 56 15 2
2873 Easy, my little pit bull 1.2603 0.06177 73 57 13 3
2874 Of course you weren't adopted because we didn't know if we'd ever have another dog. 1.2603 0.06765 73 59 9 5
2875 It's graduation day at obedience school. 1.2603 0.05527 73 55 17 1
2876 You’re going to school, He’s going to do his business. 1.2603 0.06478 73 58 11 4
2877 Son, I want you to meet someone who's very special to Daddy. 1.2603 0.06478 73 58 11 4
2878 Oh, come on - I call you *both* "son of a bitch"! 1.2603 0.06765 73 59 9 5
2879 Dachshund? I thought you said Dogson. 1.2603 0.06478 73 58 11 4
2880 He wants us to hear his report on Life as a house dog. 1.2603 0.06177 73 57 13 3
2881 I know you wanted a brother, but trust me, this is financially better. 1.2603 0.05861 73 56 15 2
2882 I’m sorry, but the owners were simply out of parrots. 1.2603 0.05861 73 56 15 2
2883 Don’t be upset, second favorite is still pretty good! 1.2603 0.06177 73 57 13 3
2884 Do you want to go to your crate again? 1.2603 0.06177 73 57 13 3
2885 Don’t worry, Buddy, he’ll never replace your mommy. 1.2603 0.06177 73 57 13 3
2886 Don’t be mad, son. You know you have to do the trick to get the treat. 1.2603 0.05527 73 55 17 1
2887 We can’t afford a little brother for you, but sparky here can still wear your hand me downs.... 1.2593 0.05768 81 63 15 3
2888 Buster didn't know you'd be afraid of dogs wearing short pants, Jimmy. 1.2593 0.05768 81 63 15 3
2889 No, Jimmy, when I say, "shake," use your RIGHT paw! Now watch Toby. 1.2593 0.05768 81 63 15 3
2890 What did Daddy tell you about synergy, symbiosis, and mutualism? 1.2593 0.05493 81 62 17 2
2891 Sure, we could get a little girl too. 1.2593 0.06280 81 65 11 5
2892 Timmy, I know you can show him who is a really good boy! 1.2593 0.06029 81 64 13 4
2893 He passed 2nd grade before you because he listens. 1.2593 0.05493 81 62 17 2
2894 I promise, next week you'll be the one we dress up and parade around town. 1.2593 0.05493 81 62 17 2
2895 Your brother is a son of a nice woman 1.2593 0.05493 81 62 17 2
2896 Your sister has apologized for stealing your pastrami sandwich. 1.2593 0.06521 81 66 9 6
2897 Don't you want to be called 'good boy' like Barney? 1.2593 0.06029 81 64 13 4
2898 he’s played your game for an hour so ...drinking out of his bowl is the least you can do. 1.2593 0.06280 81 65 11 5
2899 I know it doesn't seem fair, but in my defense, getting him was something mother and I both agreed on 1.2593 0.05768 81 63 15 3
2900 He's the favourite but you're a close second 1.2593 0.05205 81 61 19 1
2901 Now be good, or I’ll do to you what I did to your sister 1.2593 0.05493 81 62 17 2
2902 Well, maybe next Christmas you'll get a little sister. 1.2588 0.06070 85 68 12 5
2903 Hey come on big guy, so you're not our favorite.....at least Mom didn't pick out your clothes! 1.2588 0.05063 85 64 20 1
2904 When we go camping you can use the restroom outside too. 1.2588 0.05589 85 66 16 3
2905 You said you wanted a little brother. Mom said no. So, I came up with this idea. 1.2588 0.05835 85 67 14 4
2906 We’re sorry but you must have had *some* suspicions about being adopted. 1.2588 0.05333 85 65 18 2
2907 Evolution Johnny, ev-ol-ut-ion! 1.2588 0.05589 85 66 16 3
2908 Please don't pout,we'll be best friends every other weekend. 1.2588 0.06070 85 68 12 5
2909 Come on. You said you wanted a little brother to play with since you couldn't go outside. 1.2588 0.05333 85 65 18 2
2910 It's only 'til he outgrows it. 1.2588 0.05835 85 67 14 4
2911 In this family, we all try to reach our full potential. 1.2588 0.05589 85 66 16 3
2912 No, Daddy hasn't lost his mind. 1.2588 0.05835 85 67 14 4
2913 Hey buddy, I'll play with you when Fido and I get back from dinner. 1.2588 0.05589 85 66 16 3
2914 When you're potty trained you can wear a big boy suit too. 1.2588 0.05589 85 66 16 3
2915 He’d rather go to the park tomorrow..... 1.2588 0.05589 85 66 16 3
2916 We won’t take long, you can wait here 1.2588 0.05333 85 65 18 2
2917 he is my best friend, chill 1.2588 0.05333 85 65 18 2
2918 What can I say, we’ve become very close since the pandemic 1.2588 0.05835 85 67 14 4
2919 #besties2021 1.2584 0.05656 89 70 15 4
2920 I’ll dress you like a dog’s dinner soon. 1.2581 0.05492 93 73 16 4
2921 Don't worry! Nobody is going to think he's your brother and he's not going to start barking! 1.2581 0.05048 93 71 20 2
2922 Hey Johnny, I think we’re Tik Toking now! 1.2581 0.05902 93 75 12 6
2923 Who’s a good boy? Not you. I’m just messin’ with ya. 1.2574 0.05743 101 82 12 7
2924 Honestly Junior you’re my second best friend. 1.2574 0.05200 101 79 18 4
2925 He not my real brother, why is he always getting my hand me downs... 1.2574 0.05567 101 81 14 6
2926 Just be thankful you won the coin toss. 1.2568 0.06103 74 58 13 3
2927 Look, either you give me your front paw too, or no walk for you. 1.2568 0.05792 74 57 15 2
2928 The suit was too small for you. 1.2561 0.06211 82 66 11 5
2929 Now knock it off, or I’m sending you to obedience school like your brother! 1.2561 0.05964 82 65 13 4
2930 Arnold’s already taken the fencing lessons and he LOVED them 1.2561 0.05151 82 62 19 1
2931 It'll be fun, Billy, Mr. Wigglesworth knows a great place for tea. 1.2561 0.05964 82 65 13 4
2932 Look it's just that he'll wear the clothes Mom made for him! 1.2561 0.05706 82 64 15 3
2933 Sorry Jimmy, obedience school just seemed like a better investment than saving for college these days. 1.2561 0.05151 82 62 19 1
2934 When you learn to fetch you can have a new outfit, too. 1.2561 0.05964 82 65 13 4
2935 It'll be fun. Your brother will stay with your mother, and you and I will sleep out back in the little house. 1.2561 0.05435 82 63 17 2
2936 It’s very chic in Paris I’ve heard! 1.2561 0.05706 82 64 15 3
2937 Stand still for a second and I’ll introduce you to your new comportment support dog. 1.2561 0.05435 82 63 17 2
2938 Hope you like doggy style. 1.2561 0.06211 82 66 11 5
2939 No, I said YOU were being a little bitch 1.2561 0.05964 82 65 13 4
2940 Sorry son, St. Barks tuition was much more affordable. 1.2561 0.05706 82 64 15 3
2941 Now I know your brother is a dog,but he has the best tailor,is ordained,and will win the popular vote. 1.2561 0.05435 82 63 17 2
2942 Apologize to your little brother! 1.2561 0.05964 82 65 13 4
2943 See, your brother dressed nicely to go see Grandma. 1.2561 0.05964 82 65 13 4
2944 You’re still a close friend, Son. Just not my best one. 1.2561 0.05706 82 64 15 3
2945 He was a ‘push present’ and we love him, too. 1.2561 0.05706 82 64 15 3
2946 I know I said ‘man’s best friend’ but it’s just a saying...I don’t have a favorite 1.2561 0.05435 82 63 17 2
2947 It’s a dog eat dog world son.” 1.2561 0.05706 82 64 15 3
2948 Well, Teddy got a fun outfit because he learned to stop wetting the bed. 1.2558 0.05774 86 68 14 4
2949 To be fair, it was either this, or put you on a leash. 1.2558 0.05279 86 66 18 2
2950 ...Good people on both sides” 1.2558 0.05774 86 68 14 4
2951 Come on Jimmy - you wanted a little brother and I wanted a dog. We both win. 1.2558 0.05532 86 67 16 3
2952 How come he never has to wear shoes? 1.2558 0.05532 86 67 16 3
2953 But you were a very close second choice. 1.2558 0.05774 86 68 14 4
2954 You're my other "good boy", too! 1.2558 0.05279 86 66 18 2
2955 Are we going to be a good dogie or a bad dogie today? 1.2558 0.05013 86 65 20 1
2956 Hey son, let’s look for fire hydrants. That”lol be fun. 1.2558 0.05279 86 66 18 2
2957 You're going to love obedience school. Your best friend will be right there with you. 1.2558 0.05532 86 67 16 3
2958 I told you, "next time you can be Little Lord Fauntleroy." 1.2558 0.05774 86 68 14 4
2959 He's the one who liked Little Lord Fauntleroy. 1.2558 0.05532 86 67 16 3
2960 Your teacher insists that home-schooling works better in small groups" 1.2558 0.05774 86 68 14 4
2961 ...and Davy when you learn to roll over and beg, Daddy will call you a "good boy" too! 1.2558 0.05774 86 68 14 4
2962 Sit, Timmy! I say Sit! 1.2558 0.05279 86 66 18 2
2963 Don't be jealous. You're still ahead in the opposable-thumbs department. 1.2558 0.05774 86 68 14 4
2964 You can be my favorite again if you be good like Coco. 1.2558 0.05279 86 66 18 2
2965 It's because Marley never talks back. 1.2558 0.05532 86 67 16 3
2966 No more, no less. I love you two just the same! 1.2558 0.05279 86 66 18 2
2967 Don't be afraid. I used to be a dogface in the Army. 1.2558 0.06230 86 70 10 6
2968 Buck up son, I’m sure we’ll have enough for your tuition next year! 1.2558 0.05532 86 67 16 3
2969 Yes, we did spend our stimulus checks on Rosco’s new dog suit 1.2558 0.05279 86 66 18 2
2970 Tomorrow you get to wear the suit. 1.2556 0.05135 90 69 19 2
2971 Donny! Don't be jealous, your dog has more Tic Toc followers than you 1.2556 0.05819 90 72 13 5
2972 No! BILLY stay! Rex is going to the bar with me. Because........BOOM! Dog years. Fist bump it! 1.2556 0.06030 90 73 11 6
2973 You’re still my my favorite little boy but you’ve outgrown your school clothes. 1.2556 0.04886 90 68 21 1
2974 I'd love to be your best friend, Bobby, but he's a dog. 1.2556 0.05819 90 72 13 5
2975 As soon as you're potty trained too, 'Ill buy you a new suit. Promise 1.2556 0.05600 90 71 15 4
2976 Ok Boys, Let's play fetch but Bubba, don't mess up Juniors nice clothes. 1.2556 0.05600 90 71 15 4
2977 Just because sparky is a good boy, doesn't mean you're not. 1.2553 0.05002 94 72 20 2
2978 No, I don't think I can call you my rescue son without involving child protection services. 1.2530 0.05378 83 64 17 2
2979 Because he was originally owned by Leona Helmsley, who left him with a bequest! 1.2530 0.05378 83 64 17 2
2980 Son, now you know, it's not about the size of the dog in the fight, it's about the size of the fight in the dog. 1.2530 0.05899 83 66 13 4
2981 Come on, Ralph. Please pretend to play nice. We're woke. It's what we DO. 1.2530 0.05645 83 65 15 3
2982 Trust me. You'll like obedience school. 1.2530 0.05645 83 65 15 3
2983 Who’s my good boy. You’re my good boy. Yes. You. Are. That’s a boy, lets go for a walk. Good Boy. 1.2530 0.05378 83 64 17 2
2984 Don't be upset Spot got his PhD even though you're both 4-years-old. Besides, he's really 32-years-old in dog years. 1.2530 0.05098 83 63 19 1
2985 Hey, Bobby, be a sport! Rex will walk with us with no sneakers and on his hind legs, so you can put in a little effort too. 1.2530 0.05098 83 63 19 1
2986 Now Jimmy,why can’t you be a good boy like Rover? 1.2530 0.06143 83 67 11 5
2987 Well, if you did Hepburn impressions half as good as Spot here, you could also be Dad's best friend! 1.2530 0.05645 83 65 15 3
2988 When you go to obedience training you can wear your suit with short pants too. Right now it's Tippy's turn. 1.2530 0.05378 83 64 17 2
2989 If you will wear a cute suit like your fur brother I’ll teach you to fetch. 1.2530 0.05378 83 64 17 2
2990 George is here to stay. You are brothers but you can't have a tail ! 1.2530 0.05378 83 64 17 2
2991 Yes, the Acme Obedience Institute is a private school, but that’s no reason to beat him up. 1.2530 0.05645 83 65 15 3
2992 You're too old for short pants and bare feet!" 1.2530 0.05645 83 65 15 3
2993 Now, now Bobby, cheer up. We can't have just ONE of our children fixed, now can we? Would that be fair? Plus they'll give you a treat at the vet! A treat! Who wants a treat?! 1.2530 0.06143 83 67 11 5
2994 A million Instagrammers followed Duke home. Can we keep them? PLEASE? 1.2530 0.05645 83 65 15 3
2995 Just because he got into prep school and you didn't doesn't mean I don't love you too. 1.2530 0.05645 83 65 15 3
2996 We’ve adopted Spinky here to be Your new little brother because he’s well-behaved and I promise you that as you become a man, he will always Be your best friend. 1.2530 0.06143 83 67 11 5
2997 Bad Boy! Good Dog! 1.2530 0.05645 83 65 15 3
2998 'Arnold, you outgrew that outfit a year ago. And look how nice it looks on Spot. 1.2530 0.05645 83 65 15 3
2999 Bobby, Fifi says if you show her where you buried her bone, she'll release your frog immediately. 1.2530 0.04801 83 62 21 0
3000 You’re also adopted 1.2530 0.05378 83 64 17 2
3001 Little Lord Fontleruff just wanted to see if you were friendly. 1.2530 0.05645 83 65 15 3
3002 I promise you can have your Sunday School suit back, Justin, just as soon as we get the Instagram shot of Lord Fauntleroy dancing. 1.2530 0.05378 83 64 17 2
3003 And someday, if you dress like this, you too can be a president like Donald Trump. 1.2530 0.06378 83 68 9 6
3004 You start online obedience school on Monday. Scooby loved it and passed with flying colors. 1.2530 0.05645 83 65 15 3
3005 Don't be mad. It doesn't fit you anymore. 1.2530 0.05378 83 64 17 2
3006 Don't worry sweetie, I'll throw you a phone. 1.2530 0.05645 83 65 15 3
3007 You'll need to be able to deal with competition when schools reopen. 1.2530 0.05645 83 65 15 3
3008 Holy Moses! Agree with me, and respect his dogged determination to be a member of our family. 1.2530 0.05098 83 63 19 1
3009 It's OK Billy. I was just joking about having you neutered like your brother. 1.2530 0.05899 83 66 13 4
3010 No pooping in the streets. Learn from your brother! 1.2530 0.05899 83 66 13 4
3011 Don't be like that. Tige graduated from obedience school. You'll get your chance. Kindergarten starts next week and it'll be fun! 1.2530 0.05645 83 65 15 3
3012 Blame your mother, Melvin. She wanted a sitter who's been vetted. 1.2530 0.05645 83 65 15 3
3013 Timmy, this is Fido. He's going to teach you how to fetch and roll over. 1.2530 0.05645 83 65 15 3
3014 Who cares if he’s better dressed. You used your opposable thumbs to put on those awesome Velcro sneakers. 1.2530 0.05899 83 66 13 4
3015 Now don’t be jealous Tommy, with the dog dressed as your brother we can get more money from the government and not be evicted this month. 1.2530 0.05899 83 66 13 4
3016 Come on Billy, don’t you want to be a good boy like Rover? 1.2530 0.05899 83 66 13 4
3017 I know, I know...I think this is taking the whole ‘fur baby’ thing too far too, but your mom’s got me in a corner on this one. 1.2530 0.05098 83 63 19 1
3018 Richie, once he learned to walk on two paws I had to dress him in something!" 1.2530 0.05098 83 63 19 1
3019 Parenthood: expectation vs reality. 1.2530 0.06143 83 67 11 5
3020 And if you stop the silliness, someday you will also sleep inside 1.2530 0.05645 83 65 15 3
3021 I promise that I love you equally. 1.2530 0.05378 83 64 17 2
3022 And he’s great at reading and maths too! 1.2530 0.05899 83 66 13 4
3023 It's great you can count to ten Noah, but can you fetch? 1.2530 0.05899 83 66 13 4
3024 It's the dog's toy now little fella.. remember sharing is caring! 1.2530 0.05645 83 65 15 3
3025 Now, remember! Your safe word is b to the ow to the bow wow! 1.2529 0.04964 87 66 20 1
3026 Don't be mad. Archie has stepped up during the pandemic. 1.2529 0.05226 87 67 18 2
3027 I know, but you were getting too big for it. 1.2529 0.05226 87 67 18 2
3028 OK...I’’ll get you a tail for your birthday! 1.2529 0.05476 87 68 16 3
3029 How about this, You pick up his poop he picks up yours 1.2529 0.05476 87 68 16 3
3030 It's because the doggy doesn't bed wet. 1.2529 0.05476 87 68 16 3
3031 Billy don’t be shy, come meet your new homeschool teacher 1.2529 0.05715 87 69 14 4
3032 If you had passed obedience class like he did you wouldn’t have to go back son. 1.2529 0.04964 87 66 20 1
3033 Tell me everything you learned at doggy day care! 1.2529 0.05476 87 68 16 3
3034 I thought that since you were the same size and he needed a suit for his first day of training class you would be glad to help out a best friend. 1.2527 0.05970 91 74 11 6
3035 We all can't be good boys like Milo. 1.2527 0.05546 91 72 15 4
3036 Well, learn how to wipe yourself. 1.2527 0.05970 91 74 11 6
3037 Tomorrow it's your turn to dress up! 1.2526 0.04956 95 73 20 2
3038 Billy, we don't love you less than the dog his private school just costs more 1.2500 0.06289 80 65 10 5
3039 If you're a good boy, I'll give you a treat. 1.2500 0.05764 80 63 14 3
3040 Perhaps you need to attend obedience school, too. 1.2500 0.04872 80 60 20 0
3041 Doesn’t Dapper eat everything YOU drop on the floor? 1.2500 0.05186 80 61 18 1
3042 Think of him as the brother I never had. 1.2500 0.05270 92 72 17 3
3043 Although his mother really is a dog, we NEVER refer to him as “Son-of-a-bitch!” 1.2500 0.06033 80 64 12 4
3044 He's the good boy; you're the bad boy. 1.2500 0.05764 80 63 14 3
3045 Just be happy you don't have to dress up! 1.2500 0.05764 80 63 14 3
3046 It's only for the first day of obedience school. 1.2500 0.05764 80 63 14 3
3047 My fiancée can’t make up her mind about adopting. Smile or the pooch is the one moving in. 1.2500 0.06289 80 65 10 5
3048 C'mon, Billy, with the right attitude, you TOO can be the teacher's pet! 1.2500 0.06289 80 65 10 5
3049 If you could roll over and bark, we'd be just as proud of you. 1.2500 0.05322 84 65 17 2
3050 HE doesn’t have to wear shoes. 1.2500 0.05764 80 63 14 3
3051 Once you catch your tail you can dress fancy too! 1.2500 0.05389 100 80 15 5
3052 It'll be okay, Sparky loved obedience school. 1.2500 0.05837 84 67 13 4
3053 Remember how we tried 'Bring Your Son to Work Day 1.2500 0.05186 80 61 18 1
3054 You wanted a dog and he'll teach you to play nice. 1.2500 0.05837 84 67 13 4
3055 Maybe if you dressed better you'd be my favorite boy. 1.2500 0.05186 80 61 18 1
3056 He’s just a gooder boy than you are. 1.2500 0.05483 80 62 16 2
3057 Are you ready. Go fetch. 1.2500 0.05837 84 67 13 4
3058 We'll go back to preschool once you're equally obedient! 1.2500 0.05483 80 62 16 2
3059 It's okay Jr, Fido is only borrowing it for the show. 1.2500 0.05506 72 55 16 1
3060 Daddy will buy you one when you eat all the food in your bowl and come when I call you! 1.2500 0.06033 80 64 12 4
3061 Cheer up, son, and meet your little brother from another litter... 1.2500 0.05483 80 62 16 2
3062 If this works out, we'll be the richest televangelist yet 1.2500 0.05483 80 62 16 2
3063 No worries, you're too big for the hand-me-downs. 1.2500 0.05175 88 68 18 2
3064 It’s okay Tim, they said she was children-friendly. 1.2500 0.06033 80 64 12 4
3065 Sorry your jealous Billy, but he sits when he is told to. 1.2500 0.06289 80 65 10 5
3066 Shake...Good boy! 1.2500 0.06033 80 64 12 4
3067 I can get you one just like it if that'll make you feel better. 1.2500 0.04872 80 60 20 0
3068 Quit growling he is, "Man's best friend." 1.2500 0.04872 80 60 20 0
3069 Well, Jimmy, starting fetching my newspaper and maybe you can go to private school too 1.2500 0.06033 80 64 12 4
3070 Now, apologize to Eli for calling him wiener dog. 1.2500 0.05483 80 62 16 2
3071 Because only one of you is a good boy,that's why. 1.2500 0.06289 80 65 10 5
3072 How would you like an outfit like his? 1.2500 0.05585 84 66 15 3
3073 Would you rather I put both of you on leashes 1.2500 0.05483 80 62 16 2
3074 Look, if you had been willing to wear the outfit, you'd be the one we'd be keeping. 1.2500 0.06033 80 64 12 4
3075 See, Muffy likes your new school uniform! 1.2500 0.06309 84 69 9 6
3076 Don't be upset, Milo. Lots of daddies mix up their kids' names. 1.2500 0.05764 80 63 14 3
3077 Welcome to obedience school! I'm sure you'll make plenty of man's best friends in no time. 1.2500 0.05585 84 66 15 3
3078 No..I am not playing favorites. He just looks better in shorts than you do. 1.2500 0.04872 80 60 20 0
3079 A man can only have one best friend... 1.2500 0.05837 84 67 13 4
3080 But you want to be in The New Yorker with daddy and Diana don't you? 1.2500 0.06033 80 64 12 4
3081 Okay, I guess it's time we told you. Yes you were adopted 1.2500 0.05483 80 62 16 2
3082 Who's the good boy? You're the good boy! 1.2500 0.05186 80 61 18 1
3083 Save the anger for your therapist. 1.2500 0.05764 80 63 14 3
3084 Max meet Max. 1.2500 0.04916 88 67 20 1
3085 You have to go get your nails clipped while I drop Sonny off at school ! 1.2500 0.06033 80 64 12 4
3086 Come on, Johnny, say hello to your new best friend. 1.2500 0.05483 80 62 16 2
3087 Look kid, this is not against humanity. 1.2500 0.05764 80 63 14 3
3088 You'll get your suit when you learn to sit, stay and fetch too. 1.2500 0.05764 80 63 14 3
3089 Of course I love you equally, but I have loved him longer because ... dog years. 1.2500 0.05421 88 69 16 3
3090 Hey there Billy, your sister says she's sorry for eating your homework. Could you please delete the unfetching post you made regarding her #lookoftheday? 1.2500 0.05764 80 63 14 3
3091 He gets to wear a jacket cause he a purebred 1.2500 0.05764 80 63 14 3
3092 Billy, wiener is not a nice word. 1.2500 0.06033 80 64 12 4
3093 Son,meet your new brother,Carl. Since mom and I won’t be going back to work soon, it was time to grow our family. Now say hello to Carl. 1.2500 0.04911 96 74 20 2
3094 Billy, we can still visit your brother at boarding school. 1.2500 0.05657 88 70 14 4
3095 ...but I am the little boy. 1.2500 0.05764 80 63 14 3
3096 Let's face it, you're not mans best friend. 1.2500 0.04916 88 67 19 1
3097 Get use to it. Mom and I do like him better. 1.2500 0.05421 88 69 16 3
3098 What's the matter Jimmy? My sister's a B$#@* 1.2500 0.05175 88 68 18 2
3099 Now remember, Mommy and I did discuss having a fur baby... 1.2500 0.06033 80 64 12 4
3100 No Billy, he is just a woof in sleeps clothing. 1.2500 0.05483 80 62 16 2
3101 Rex is now top dog on Twitter. 1.2500 0.05657 88 70 14 4
3102 Don't fret Jake, he's also a Republican. 1.2500 0.06033 80 64 12 4
3103 Private school boys are no different than you and you shouldn't make fun of their uniforms. 1.2500 0.06289 80 65 10 5
3104 And daddy’s gonna keep holding your hand until his ‘medicine’ finally wears off 1.2500 0.05483 80 62 16 2
3105 Come on, boys! Lets fetch the ball. 1.2500 0.05837 84 67 13 4
3106 Come on, Timmy, put on your nice clothes and I'll give you a treat too! 1.2500 0.06033 80 64 12 4
3107 I told you no ruff-housing 1.2500 0.05322 84 65 17 2
3108 Let’s play Operant Conditioning! 1.2500 0.05483 80 62 16 2
3109 : ate your homework again? 😄 1.2500 0.05483 80 62 16 2
3110 If you walk nicely, you’ll get a milkbone... 1.2500 0.05421 88 69 16 3
3111 ...but he’s our forever son, son. 1.2500 0.05483 80 62 16 2
3112 I know it’s a nice suit Timmy, but he doesn’t outgrow clothes like you do. 1.2500 0.05764 80 63 14 3
3113 Son you’re likable, but he’s trend-“able” 1.2500 0.05764 80 63 14 3
3114 You outgrew this before we had a chance to use it, so we kept it for your younger brother. 1.2500 0.05837 84 67 13 4
3115 So, here's your stop. Goodbye. 1.2500 0.05483 80 62 16 2
3116 You have always wanted a human baby for Christmas, remember? 1.2500 0.05625 80 65 11 4
3117 Yes she might literally be a b*tch, but you still cannot call her that, she is your step-mom 1.2500 0.06033 80 64 12 4
3118 I thought it was just me and you, Lenny. 1.2500 0.05960 76 60 13 3
3119 Daddy really NEEDS these likes, kiddo. 1.2500 0.05175 88 68 18 2
3120 No! I don’t want to go on a walk! 1.2500 0.05837 84 67 13 4
3121 Son, in this family we get what we earn. 1.2500 0.06289 80 65 10 5
3122 You have to admit, the suit looks better on him 1.2500 0.05837 84 66 13 4
3123 Due to circumstances, Jim could never reveal who his favorite son truly was. 1.2500 0.05483 80 62 16 2
3124 ‘I know you don’t want to go into the cage, but calling your brother a dog is unacceptable’. 1.2500 0.05483 80 62 16 2
3125 Sorry George, the dog’s cheaper 1.2500 0.05483 80 62 16 2
3126 If he learns how to speak, you can start sleeping outside! 1.2500 0.06289 80 65 10 5
3127 Be a good boy or the next will be an alpaca. 1.2500 0.06289 80 65 10 5
3128 Sorry son, but we've decided to take our family in a slightly different direction. 1.2500 0.06485 72 58 10 4
3129 Son be nice, he had a ruff upbringing 1.2500 0.05483 80 62 16 2
3130 ... Because we like him better than you.... 1.2500 0.06101 88 72 10 6
3131 I’m sorry honey, we only had enough to budget for one new back-to-school outfit. 1.2473 0.05220 93 73 17 3
3132 Hey, don't be mad just because he looks better in a Nehru jacket than you do. 1.2472 0.05600 89 71 14 4
3133 Only happy bitches are welcome in this family, Bobbie! 1.2472 0.05824 89 72 12 5
3134 He apologized for calling you a guttersnipe. 1.2472 0.06039 89 73 10 6
3135 Now, now! He doesn’t bite, you know... 1.2472 0.06039 89 73 10 6
3136 When you get older 1.2472 0.05600 89 71 14 4
3137 I’m sorry that Fido got the award for ‘best behaved’ in kindergarten and that you didn’t. 1.2472 0.05600 89 71 14 4
3138 C’mon now. Be a good boy and let’s take Hubert to his class before he is late. 1.2472 0.05367 89 70 15 3
3139 Your mother was a bitch ... what do you expect? 1.2471 0.05775 85 68 13 4
3140 Okay, son, it's your turn. Get down on all fours and CHASE THAT BALL! 1.2471 0.05527 85 67 15 3
3141 C'mon, roll over like your brother. 1.2471 0.05527 85 67 15 3
3142 And you won't let me wear my dog costume to school! 1.2471 0.05775 85 68 13 4
3143 You said you wanted a puppy and a baby brother. 1.2471 0.05527 85 67 15 3
3144 But Eustace, I like you almost as much. 1.2471 0.06013 85 69 11 5
3145 Don't worry, son. It will be your turn to wear the suit the next time we go to church. 1.2471 0.06013 85 69 11 5
3146 There is nothing in this world that's better suited at being your best friend than a dog. 1.2471 0.06241 85 70 9 6
3147 Look at the bright side. He may have a better pedigree, but you have opposable thumbs.... 1.2469 0.04821 81 61 20 0
3148 You should learn to be more obedient , like your brother ! 1.2469 0.05701 81 64 14 3
3149 We're thinking of sending you to the same obedience school! 1.2469 0.05131 81 62 18 1
3150 You said you wanted a puppy 1.2469 0.05701 81 64 14 3
3151 Look, if I'd made YOU wear the silly suit, you'd have been even MORE upset 1.2469 0.05701 81 64 14 3
3152 C'mon, just one more round of Red Rover and then we'll do your thing. 1.2469 0.05701 81 64 14 3
3153 Now there, I want you to be kind to your new adopted sibling. 1.2469 0.05701 81 64 14 3
3154 Don't call your sister a bitch 1.2469 0.05966 81 65 12 4
3155 We can't all have our own Wikipedia page, now can we? 1.2469 0.05966 81 65 12 4
3156 And look at you standing on your hind legs, too. Good boy. 1.2469 0.04821 81 61 20 0
3157 w he’s a son of a bitch, but it’s still not polite to call him one. 1.2469 0.05131 81 62 18 1
3158 You could wear that too,if you hadn't flunked obedience school. 1.2469 0.05424 81 63 16 2
3159 If your dog can wear a nice suit, so can you. 1.2469 0.05701 81 64 14 3
3160 Come on, Jimmy, don't be mad. Mom and I have only saved up enough to send one of you to college and we just feel that Baxter is more Ivy League-material . 1.2469 0.05424 81 63 16 2
3161 Don’t hit your brother from another mother. 1.2469 0.05966 81 65 12 4
3162 Now understand why British only show affection to dogs and horses 1.2469 0.05966 81 65 12 4
3163 Apologize to him right now for saying he looks like 'The Cat's Meow.' 1.2469 0.05966 81 65 12 4
3164 Surprise Son it's a Republicanine...he can fetch a fake newspaper , roll over his 401K and then play dead. 1.2469 0.05701 81 64 14 3
3165 Now Joey, he gets the suit because he behaved better last week. 1.2469 0.05701 81 64 14 3
3166 Hopefully the outfits will help me tell my twins apart. 1.2469 0.05424 81 63 16 2
3167 Com'on 2020! Meet 2021. 1.2469 0.05131 81 62 18 1
3168 If you are a good boy I'll take you for a walk too 1.2469 0.05131 81 62 18 1
3169 He's a good boy. His pedigree is less complicated. 1.2469 0.05701 81 64 14 3
3170 It's okay,dogs are immune from cooties. 1.2469 0.06219 81 66 10 5
3171 Now, now, son. I told you that you had to study hard to beat Sparky into the best schools. 1.2469 0.05701 81 64 14 3
3172 I don’t give a rat’s ass what you want. Ralph’s going to be your new brother. 1.2469 0.05966 81 65 12 4
3173 I promise, next time will be your turn to walk on your hind legs 1.2469 0.05701 81 64 14 3
3174 Sorry buddy, when I said 'Good boy,' I meant the one who cleaned his plate, fetched daddy a beer, and did NOT wet the bed! 1.2469 0.05701 81 64 14 3
3175 Who cares what the other kids say? Fraternal twins are still twins,right? 1.2469 0.05701 81 64 14 3
3176 Who’s not a good boy; who’s not a good boy?! 1.2469 0.05424 81 63 16 2
3177 Who’s a good, good boy? 1.2469 0.05424 81 63 16 2
3178 YES, I am dog-gone positive that he will be your new best friend! 1.2469 0.05701 81 64 14 3
3179 Cheer up, you never have to do homework again! 1.2469 0.05966 81 65 12 4
3180 You wanted a little brother and a dog, so don't tell Fido that he's adopted. 1.2469 0.06219 81 66 10 5
3181 Even Fido has mastered the "Twenty One tantrums to do only with mom". C'mon, you can do it too! 1.2469 0.05966 81 65 12 4
3182 Well, Tommy? After that little stunt you pulled at the admissions interview at Little Tykes, what did you expect? 1.2469 0.05966 81 65 12 4
3183 But you said you didn’t want a suit with shorts 1.2469 0.05424 81 63 16 2
3184 I know you don’t want to do virtual school, but look, there’s another kid in the class now! 1.2469 0.05424 81 63 16 2
3185 Yes; you’re a ‘Big Boy’ but he’s a ‘Good Boy’.” 1.2469 0.05424 81 63 16 2
3186 But I love you both equally. 1.2469 0.05131 81 62 18 1
3187 Now open your mouth and drop it,Timmy. You know they don’t put up with this kind of behavior at the dog run. 1.2469 0.05701 81 64 14 3
3188 See? You’re not the shortest kid in your class! 1.2469 0.05131 81 62 18 1
3189 If you behaved as well as fido, I'd like you as much as I like him. 1.2469 0.05131 81 62 18 1
3190 Sorry, buddy. I know it's a double standard. But society just isn't ready for -you- to go around sniffing buttcheeks in public. 1.2469 0.05966 81 65 12 4
3191 But he minds better than you! 1.2469 0.05131 81 62 18 1
3192 C'mon, if Buster can ace obedience school so can you., 1.2469 0.06219 81 66 10 5
3193 Come on now Throw him a bone. 1.2469 0.05424 81 63 16 2
3194 Obedience school will make you a good boy, too! 1.2469 0.05424 81 63 16 2
3195 Give Daddy your paw. 1.2469 0.05701 81 64 14 3
3196 We can get ice cream after the dog park. 1.2469 0.05966 81 65 12 4
3197 Now, Fritzie, you enjoy that liver treat! Bartholomew devoured his Godiva Truffle AND the gold foil as well and he didn't make a face. 1.2469 0.05424 81 63 16 2
3198 Yes, yes it’s houndstooth, but is off the rack. 1.2469 0.05701 81 64 14 3
3199 Don’t be mad, son, we just love him more. 1.2469 0.05701 81 64 14 3
3200 Well, it looks like someone has taken to online learning. 1.2469 0.05701 81 64 14 3
3201 You and Spike will be sharing a room now. He gets the top bunk! 1.2469 0.05701 81 64 14 3
3202 You both are my children, silly. Now make up with your brother 1.2469 0.06219 81 66 10 5
3203 Sorry son, Rufus upskilled over lockdown so takes us for a walk when he wants 1.2469 0.05424 81 63 16 2
3204 Well Norman, he gets the suit because he has to be at work at 9. 1.2469 0.05966 81 65 12 4
3205 Don’t worry bud, I’m sure there’s gonna be SOME money left for your college fund! 1.2469 0.05701 81 64 14 3
3206 Haaaaaaave you met Ted? 1.2469 0.05701 81 64 14 3
3207 The child never stood a chance in the battle of mans best friend. 1.2469 0.05966 81 65 12 4
3208 Calm down. You insulted Phoebe’s suit and she pooped in your shoe. You’re even! 1.2469 0.05701 81 64 14 3
3209 I don’t mind walking with you guys but I am NOT gonna pee on that hydrant. 1.2469 0.06219 81 66 10 5
3210 It’s not just because he’s our favorite. 1.2469 0.05966 81 65 12 4
3211 And when you are fully housebroken, you'll get a shiny new suit, and be able to go barefoot, too. 1.2468 0.06175 77 62 11 4
3212 Well you can't have a tail now, can you? 1.2468 0.05891 77 61 13 3
3213 You’re a bitter little S.O.B. 1.2468 0.06445 77 63 9 5
3214 Of course we still love you. There's nothing actually humiliating about the way we make you dress, is there? 1.2468 0.05891 77 61 13 3
3215 Don't be jealous. The obedience school has a very selective admissions policy. 1.2468 0.06175 77 62 11 4
3216 So you're no longer the favourite child, big deal! Just be thankful you're able to open doors and use forks. 1.2468 0.05891 77 61 13 3
3217 If you train hard you can be top dog next year. Top dog next year? Good boy!! 1.2468 0.05280 77 59 17 1
3218 We don't use fists to solve problems. We use our voices, or our piss. 1.2468 0.06705 77 64 7 6
3219 Papa, I don’t think he’s going to sit. 1.2468 0.05594 77 60 15 2
3220 Cheer up, Bobby. You know that suit doesn't fit you anymore! 1.2468 0.05594 77 60 15 2
3221 I know you don't like it that he's wearing your suit now, but I promise you, he'll never wear your sneakers. 1.2468 0.05594 77 60 15 2
3222 Quarantine Day: 294 “Okay and one more time from the top. 1, and a 2, and a...” 1.2468 0.06705 77 64 7 6
3223 I don't expect you to be perfect, like your brother, Simon, here, but I do expect you to at least try! Now fetch, Fido, fetch! 1.2468 0.06445 77 63 9 5
3224 Now Donny, be a good boy. You know we can't overstay our welcome. See, your brother is already dressed and ready to leave. 1.2468 0.05594 77 60 15 2
3225 Just play nice and I promise you that he won’t bite you this time 1.2468 0.05280 77 59 17 1
3226 He is cute in your old outfit, but he's not replacing you in my heart. 1.2468 0.06175 77 62 11 4
3227 Donald, we've decided to name her RGB. 1.2468 0.05594 77 60 15 2
3228 Look Timmy, you just have to face it. The trend is towards dogs and away from children. Perhaps if your frisbee catching improves... 1.2468 0.05891 77 61 13 3
3229 I just thought you both might fit in better at each other's school. 1.2468 0.06175 77 62 11 4
3230 You said that the suit was too small for you. 1.2468 0.05280 77 59 17 1
3231 If you ever behave as well as Waggles, I would consider buying you a new outfit. 1.2468 0.05594 77 60 15 2
3232 Billy, if you don’t start behaving I’m going to put you back on the leash. 1.2468 0.05594 77 60 15 2
3233 He's also learned how not to crap on the floor, so I guess you're just gonna have to step up your game. 1.2468 0.05280 77 59 17 1
3234 Now Jimmy, just be patient and don’t be jealous of your brother. I didn’t grow my tail until I was 14. 1.2468 0.05594 77 60 15 2
3235 A man can only have one best friend, what's wrong with you being my little buddy? 1.2468 0.05594 77 60 15 2
3236 You’re going to love home schooling with Grandma, Harold. Just look at the progress Prince Freddy is making. 1.2468 0.05891 77 61 13 3
3237 But remember the last time when Mummy took you, too? You hated the scones and clotted cream and gave them all to Duncan from under the table. 1.2468 0.05891 77 61 13 3
3238 If Ernie can get dressed up... 1.2468 0.05891 77 61 13 3
3239 Aw, don’t take it the wrong way, son – we just dress him better because we love him more. 1.2468 0.05891 77 61 13 3
3240 Oh Joey, why would looking carefully at your mother and the neighbor's dog explain why you and your brother look different? 1.2468 0.06705 77 64 7 6
3241 Ruff day? 1.2468 0.06445 77 63 9 5
3242 Look, it just suits him better. 1.2468 0.06175 77 62 11 4
3243 I’m sorry your brother bit you. We will find you a nice new home tomorrow. 1.2468 0.05594 77 60 15 2
3244 Behave like your sister and I’ll give you a bone! 1.2468 0.05594 77 60 15 2
3245 Nooo sweetie, we're not loving our pets more than innocent children and destitute human beings!! 1.2468 0.05594 77 60 15 2
3246 So you see just how easily we can replace you. Now who's gonna be a good boy? 1.2468 0.06175 77 62 11 4
3247 I’d love to bring you too Billy, but people won’t want to take YOUR picture.” -Da 1.2468 0.06175 77 62 11 4
3248 I took you off the leash cause you were complaining he got to hold my hand. Now are you happy? 1.2468 0.05594 77 60 15 2
3249 Since you think I’m such an unfair parent, I’ve brought in “Ruff” Bader Ginsberg to decide 1.2468 0.06175 77 62 11 4
3250 Now Billy, what did Daddy say about hiding his medication? 1.2466 0.06405 73 59 10 4
3251 It's possible for man to have two best friends, you know. 1.2466 0.05441 73 56 16 1
3252 This week is dog biscuits and next week is chocolate. Remember? 1.2466 0.05780 73 57 14 2
3253 But if Daddy dressed you like that he'd be laughed at! 1.2466 0.06101 73 58 12 3
3254 Sparky told me that you refuse to pick up his poop. 1.2466 0.06101 73 58 12 3
3255 You can’t have it both ways. Either wear the shoes, or put on the school uniform. 1.2466 0.06101 73 58 12 3
3256 Because he eats all his vegetables 1.2466 0.05780 73 57 14 2
3257 I’m sorry, Timmy, but it’s going to take your mom a little longer to stop considering herself a “dog mom” 1.2466 0.06101 73 58 12 3
3258 C’mon, say you’re sorry. I know you didn’t mean to hurt his feelings. 1.2466 0.05441 73 56 16 1
3259 But he looks just like you! 1.2466 0.05780 73 57 14 2
3260 Aw come on, Jimmy. It's Rex's turn to wear the suit today. 1.2466 0.06101 73 58 12 3
3261 Son, it's high time you stand on your own two hind legs like your brother. 1.2466 0.05441 73 56 16 1
3262 You were adopted too, Timmy. 1.2466 0.05441 73 56 16 1
3263 ...and that’s why it’s important to disable motion smoothing on your HDTV! 1.2466 0.05441 73 56 16 1
3264 If the last year has taught us anything, it's that we love our dogs more than our children. 1.2466 0.05780 73 57 14 2
3265 OK! OK! He won't bite you when you're wearing your new "Puss n' Boots" outfit. 1.2466 0.05780 73 57 14 2
3266 Be nice, it's been rough 7 years for him. 1.2466 0.05780 73 57 14 2
3267 Now be a good boy and follow our dog’s lead. 1.2466 0.05780 73 57 14 2
3268 Competition on the free market will determine who will be the best boy! 1.2466 0.05441 73 56 16 1
3269 Cheer up bud, keeping your balls isn't all bad 1.2466 0.06101 73 58 12 3
3270 I will to still get to be president after January 20th! 1.2466 0.04036 73 60 11 2
3271 now,now. at least momi did not make you dress like that 1.2466 0.05441 73 56 16 1
3272 I know you were counting on being an only child, but trust me, he’ll end up being your best friend! 1.2466 0.05080 73 55 18 0
3273 But you knew that his obedience school graduation was coming soon and I just know that you'll love living with Grandma! 1.2466 0.05780 73 57 14 2
3274 The shelter says he is even tougher than a pit bull! 1.2466 0.06101 73 58 12 3
3275 If you could wag your tail, you would not have to wear shoes either! 1.2466 0.05780 73 57 14 2
3276 You ll have your days of wearing a monkey suit, don’t worry 1.2466 0.06101 73 58 12 3
3277 I know you're upset that the witch turned your brother into a dog, but just think, now you can have his bicycle. 1.2466 0.05780 73 57 14 2
3278 That’s right, daddy’s decided to pull the old switcheroo. 1.2466 0.05780 73 57 14 2
3279 Most boys would be happy to have an Early Beatles canine impersonator as a little brother. 1.2466 0.06405 73 59 10 4
3280 But he looks good in your clothes... 1.2466 0.05080 73 55 18 0
3281 To be clear, he’s been my favorite since before you were born. 1.2466 0.05780 73 57 14 2
3282 My bad. I forgot your leash. 1.2466 0.05780 73 57 14 2
3283 Shit on the grass and I’ll take you home, and let you lick my face. 1.2466 0.06405 73 59 10 4
3284 This is the best we could do! We're in our late forties and broke! 1.2466 0.06101 73 58 12 3
3285 ‘I did try and tell you he wasn’t just for Christmas’ 1.2466 0.05441 73 56 16 1
3286 But the PlayStation is for both of you, Billy! 1.2466 0.05780 73 57 14 2
3287 I’m sorry, Harry, but the succession rules are clear. Charles, William, George, Charlotte, Louis, Lupo and then you. 1.2466 0.05780 73 57 14 2
3288 I meant it when I said, he’s my other child. 1.2466 0.05780 73 57 14 2
3289 You can't always get what you want Alex, unless you're the dog 1.2466 0.05780 73 57 14 2
3290 Now, play nice. 1.2466 0.05780 73 57 14 2
3291 ‘HE gets a bigger allowance because HE understands the value of money. When you do, we can renegotiate.’ 1.2466 0.06695 73 60 8 5
3292 You don’t want the leash again, do you? 1.2466 0.05080 73 55 18 0
3293 It's time to get vaccinated . 1.2466 0.05780 73 57 14 2
3294 You said you knew how to yodel but we can be honest, Rover beat your ass. 1.2466 0.05780 73 57 14 2
3295 Come on buddy, it's just until mommy and daddy know if we’re ready for that second child! 1.2466 0.05080 73 55 18 0
3296 Aw, c'mon. He'll only be your Little Dog Bro on YouTube! 1.2444 0.04822 90 69 20 1
3297 And by the way, you're adopted. 1.2444 0.05314 90 71 16 3
3298 I would never compare you to just any dog! 1.2444 0.04822 90 69 20 1
3299 Now that you're the dog, play dead. 1.2444 0.05978 90 74 10 6
3300 Say hello to your new brother." 1.2442 0.05470 86 68 15 3
3301 Because he thinks he's your brother. 1.2442 0.05470 86 68 15 3
3302 Ignore the outfit, how would you like it if I made you wear a leash 1.2442 0.05470 86 68 15 3
3303 Obedience school doesn’t teach me sit. 1.2442 0.05470 86 68 15 3
3304 Let's discuss the concept "good boy." 1.2442 0.04945 86 66 19 1
3305 Don't be upset Jason. You'll get your turn at the hydrant too. 1.2442 0.05470 86 68 15 3
3306 He really can smell you a mile away. 1.2442 0.05214 86 67 17 2
3307 It's not my fault crate training worked better than expected! 1.2442 0.05715 86 69 13 4
3308 Stop trying to make fetch happen. 1.2442 0.05214 86 67 17 2
3309 Can't you just hide your animal nature? 1.2442 0.05715 86 69 13 4
3310 I know it’s tough, son, but he is my best friend. 1.2442 0.05715 86 69 13 4
3311 Your behavior left me with no choice. 1.2439 0.05366 82 64 16 2
3312 NO! I will not call her ‘Mom’! 1.2439 0.05639 82 65 14 3
3313 Daddy is going a little stir crazy so just please put on the doggy costume. 1.2436 0.05221 78 60 17 1
3314 Obedience training worked wonders with Sparky. Ask him to give you some pointers." 1.2436 0.05531 78 61 15 2
3315 he is fresh out of boarding school just put a leash on him 1.2436 0.05824 78 62 13 3
3316 Don't be sour, you're still Man's Second Best Friend" Andy Mathieson, Los Angeles, Cali 1.2436 0.05824 78 62 13 3
3317 You’ll get your allowance once you say woof woof! 1.2436 0.05824 78 62 13 3
3318 Don’t ever call your little brother an sob. 1.2436 0.05531 78 61 15 2
3319 But honey, we can't get you a suit like Charlie here! You don't even have a tail! 1.2436 0.06103 78 63 11 4
3320 Be nice to your brother, and STOP CALLING YOUR MOTHER A BITCH! 1.2436 0.05824 78 62 13 3
3321 OK Son, I'm sorry to say this but, we have talked about this, and you have left me no choice: DOWN Boy..... GOOD Dog! 1.2436 0.06103 78 63 11 4
3322 But I don't want to go back to the vet. 1.2432 0.06327 74 60 10 4
3323 Heal Trevor! 1.2432 0.05711 74 58 14 2
3324 Good doesn't mean better. 1.2432 0.05711 74 58 14 2
3325 Who said you can’t have a middle school dance in quarantine? 1.2418 0.05490 91 73 14 4
3326 Who’s a good boy? Him and not you. 1.2418 0.04776 91 70 20 1
3327 Now son, you'll like obedience training. 1.2418 0.05263 91 72 16 3
3328 Obedience school worked wonders for your brother Spot. 1.2414 0.05161 87 68 17 2
3329 Who's a good boy? Who's a good boy? Peanuts, not you -- that's who. 1.2414 0.05161 87 68 17 2
3330 Don't worry - soon you'll be old enough to go to obedience school too. 1.2414 0.05414 87 69 15 3
3331 You may be 7, but he's 21. 1.2414 0.05414 87 69 15 3
3332 not only do you have a new little brother, wait 'til you meet his mom! 1.2414 0.05656 87 70 13 4
3333 If you want a cookie, just be a good boy like your brother Scooby. 1.2414 0.05887 87 71 11 5
3334 Later you’ll get a cookie too. 1.2414 0.05161 87 68 17 2
3335 Happy picture of a dog with 2 other animals. 1.2414 0.06110 87 72 9 6
3336 NO! He eats poop! 1.2410 0.05309 83 65 16 2
3337 Sorry kid, sometimes walking a well-dressed dog is barking fun 1.2405 0.06033 79 64 11 4
3338 She finally made it over the border from chihuahua. 1.2405 0.06033 79 64 11 4
3339 You shouldn’t be upset if someone calls Fido’s mother a bitch. 1.2405 0.05758 79 63 13 3
3340 So, stick your tongue back at him. He won't bite. 1.2405 0.06033 79 64 11 4
3341 Be nice! It's not his fault his mother's a bitch. 1.2405 0.05469 79 62 15 2
3342 Of course not, you are... 1.2405 0.05469 79 62 15 2
3343 If you stop crying you will get your own collar and leash 1.2405 0.04839 79 60 19 0
3344 I love you less. 1.2405 0.06297 79 65 9 5
3345 Trust me, Billy, you don't want to know why he doesn't take a bath like you. 1.2405 0.05758 79 63 13 3
3346 Don’t let it get to you -- the other kids are just jealous that your mom is a dog. 1.2405 0.05758 79 63 13 3
3347 Yes Billy, the 'Doggie in the Window' cost you more than your week's allowance! 1.2405 0.06033 79 64 11 4
3348 Oh, don’t be mad at your brother! The dog costume doesn’t fit you anymore! 1.2405 0.06033 79 64 11 4
3349 Now apologize Sam. Just because he doesn't get to go to obedience school like you,it doesn't mean that ... 1.2400 0.06250 75 61 10 4
3350 Why can't you be more like Gallant over here, he's a good boy. 1.2400 0.06250 75 61 10 4
3351 I told you we were getting a hot dog! 1.2400 0.06532 75 62 8 5
3352 I promise we’ll all go to the park tomorrow and he will need to change into his normal dog collar with leash. 1.2400 0.05955 75 60 12 3
3353 And Jeff if you tear a hole in the seat of those pants well Fido gets them too. 1.2400 0.05955 75 60 12 3
3354 Now Rover catches things in his mouth all the time! 1.2400 0.06250 75 61 10 4
3355 I love you too son, don't make your dog face 1.2400 0.05955 75 60 12 3
3356 Your turn tomorrow including new shoes, 1.2400 0.05955 75 60 12 3
3357 C’mon kids - It’s time for school ! 1.2400 0.05955 75 60 12 3
3358 Mommy and Daddy love you just as much as your new rescue brother. 1.2400 0.05644 75 59 14 2
3359 Ｉｔ’ｓ　ｂｅｔｔｅｒ　ｔｈａｎ　ｐｕｔｔｉｎｇ　ｙｏｕ　ｂｏｔｈ　ｏｎ　ａ　ｌｅａｄ　ｉｓｎ’ｔ　ｉｔ？ 1.2400 0.05644 75 59 14 2
3360 Why does HE get to be the good boy? 1.2400 0.05644 75 59 14 2
3361 See? Once you learn to go outside you can stop wearing diapers! 1.2400 0.05955 75 60 12 3
3362 We are definitely getting instagram followers with this one, son! 1.2400 0.04965 75 57 18 0
3363 Pretty soon you might pass obedient school like Datsun here. 1.2400 0.06250 75 61 10 4
3364 Hey, Buddy. Sorry, no more fetching sticks. And he wants us to start calling him MISTER Winkles. 1.2400 0.05315 75 58 16 1
3365 If you’re a good boy like your brother Fido you’ll get a treat too. 1.2400 0.05644 75 59 14 2
3366 Trump will soon be gone. No need to frown! 1.2400 0.05955 75 60 12 3
3367 Well, you know, until you're ten years old, he's gonna be the smart one." 1.2400 0.05644 75 59 14 2
3368 Now, now, Billy. It's only fair. Today Bandit wore your clothes on our walk. Tomorrow you wear his leash and harness. 1.2400 0.05315 75 58 16 1
3369 Look how perfect you'll be if you go to obedience school. 1.2400 0.05644 75 59 14 2
3370 You know the rule, son: last week you got to pick where we go for dinner so now it's Buddy's turn 1.2400 0.05644 75 59 14 2
3371 Remember, you said that you wanted a little brother? Spike volunteered. 1.2400 0.06250 75 61 10 4
3372 No growling honey. Let's hear a friendly bark. 1.2400 0.05315 75 58 16 1
3373 Don't be upset—you're still daddy's favourite human child! 1.2400 0.05644 75 59 14 2
3374 He is a compromise between your desire to be an only child and our desire to have another child. 1.2400 0.05955 75 60 12 3
3375 I’m sorry Helmut won the award but his inability to talk is a real advantage at obedience school 1.2400 0.06532 75 62 8 5
3376 If you have nothing nice to say, then say something incredible sarcastic and pithy about dogs walking upright. 1.2400 0.05644 75 59 14 2
3377 I don't NEED a butler, Dad! 1.2400 0.06250 75 61 10 4
3378 What kind of park did you think we were going to? 1.2400 0.05955 75 60 12 3
3379 And you'll get a new suit, too, when you can hold a piece of bologna on your nose without eating it. 1.2400 0.05644 75 59 14 2
3380 Eric, behave like your brother Donald Junior and you can dress like him. 1.2400 0.05955 75 60 12 3
3381 Okay Timmy, now that Spot's apologized for burying the ball, it's time to shake hands, sniff each other's butts and go back outside to play. 1.2400 0.06532 75 62 8 5
3382 Don't sulk. You have to admit he looks sharp in it. 1.2400 0.05955 75 60 12 3
3383 Why can’t you be well behaved, like Benji? 1.2400 0.05955 75 60 12 3
3384 Aw C'mon Buddy, Only 2 more days and Robo-Pal will be back from the repair shop. 1.2400 0.05955 75 60 12 3
3385 Why can't I walk on my tippy toes? 1.2400 0.05315 75 58 16 1
3386 He's man's best friend. You'll see. 1.2400 0.05644 75 59 14 2
3387 Remember I told you that I remarried? Well this is your new stepbrother! 1.2400 0.05644 75 59 14 2
3388 Chill out little man. It's just a New Yorker caption contest. 1.2400 0.05644 75 59 14 2
3389 Don't get your knickers in a twist, Donald. There's no conspiracy. Little Fauntleroy here is just cuter and better behaved, he actually fits into the suit, and he's the heir to a legitimate fortune. Now go back to your sandbox. 1.2400 0.06532 75 62 8 5
3390 Dad, I think you're taking the whole "having a pet will be just like having a sibling" thing a bit too far. 1.2400 0.05955 75 60 12 3
3391 I'm sorry he gets to wear it, Jimmy, it's just... he's got a tail, and you don't 1.2400 0.05644 75 59 14 2
3392 Toby, she was just saying that you reminded her of her mother. 1.2400 0.05955 75 60 12 3
3393 Guess what, Tommy? We got you on the waiting list! 1.2400 0.06250 75 61 10 4
3394 Now now, Jimmy. You can only blame Covid for this. 1.2400 0.06532 75 62 8 5
3395 I told you to change out of your play clothes, but you didn’t want to wear your new suit. Look who wore it and won! 1.2400 0.06532 75 62 8 5
3396 'Unlike you, he's being a very good boy." 1.2400 0.06250 75 61 10 4
3397 Yes, dog is man's best friend, but you are my son. 1.2400 0.06250 75 61 10 4
3398 Ahhh come on now Son. It ain't your fault you're a loser and he's a winner. 1.2400 0.06250 75 61 10 4
3399 No. You’re an arrogant entitled fucking stupid human being who’s about to destroy the planet. He’s a gentle and lovely creature. Get it through your thick fucking head you dumb little human piece of shit. Now. Would you like a bedtime story son? 1.2400 0.06250 75 61 10 4
3400 Cheer up son. He came from the same pound where we got you. 1.2400 0.05955 75 60 12 3
3401 I know--life is unfair--but look at Charlie. He wishes he could go to school! 1.2400 0.05644 75 59 14 2
3402 Son, we aren’t replacing you. It’s just now that you’re 6, the diner’s kids-5-and-under-eat-free deal is no longer an option. 1.2400 0.05644 75 59 14 2
3403 If it will make you feel better,remember Mary couldn't take her pet lamb to school either. 1.2400 0.06250 75 61 10 4
3404 Meet your new brother. 1.2400 0.05315 75 58 16 1
3405 Pip here behaved and still got to storm the Capitol! 1.2400 0.06532 75 62 8 5
3406 Don’t worry, Donny, next time you can wear the suit. 1.2400 0.06532 75 62 8 5
3407 If you behave, we’ll buy you a suit too. 1.2400 0.05955 75 60 12 3
3408 Son, Mommy said you can go inside once you learn to aim better 1.2400 0.05315 75 58 16 1
3409 You should be more like your little brother! 1.2400 0.05315 75 58 16 1
3410 Son, we’ve been through this - your brother got the call back from Alpo and we need this! 1.2400 0.05315 75 58 16 1
3411 First my suit and now I have to share my candy too? I'm NOT scooping his poop today, Dad. 1.2400 0.05315 75 58 16 1
3412 We can go shopping when you also reach a million followers 1.2400 0.06250 75 61 10 4
3413 Be nice Nigel, you outgrew that suit last year 1.2400 0.05644 75 59 14 2
3414 Dad, why didn’t you pick up sourdough as your 2020 hobby? I told you I’m not posing for the dogs Instagram account anymore! 1.2400 0.05315 75 58 16 1
3415 Now, can you try to act like a good boy like your fur-brother Rover? 1.2400 0.06250 75 61 10 4
3416 Remember when we stepped on cracks in January 2020. 1.2400 0.05955 75 60 12 3
3417 I don’t make the rules, Timmy. That’s just how the promotion/relegation system works. 1.2400 0.05955 75 60 12 3
3418 I thought you said I was getting a little sister, not a bitch. 1.2400 0.05315 75 58 16 1
3419 He is always happy and much better behaved 1.2400 0.05644 75 59 14 2
3420 Don’t worry! I’ll get this dog-dad vs. human-dad balance down soon! 1.2400 0.05644 75 59 14 2
3421 I know I know! But he was really looking like a rottweiler on instagram 1.2386 0.05359 88 70 15 3
3422 Daddy has room in his heart for both of you 1.2386 0.06046 88 73 9 6
3423 Just get in your kennel, Billy, and I’ll give you a treat. 1.2386 0.05826 88 72 11 5
3424 He’s man’s best friend. Man up! 1.2381 0.05519 84 67 14 3
3425 The dog's outfit is so fetch. 1.2375 0.05108 80 62 17 1
3426 Daddy and Fluffy's wedding would not be any fun without you! 1.2375 0.05108 80 62 17 1
3427 Because he's a good boy 1.2375 0.05965 80 65 11 4
3428 Gets his bark from his mother, I see. 1.2375 0.05409 80 63 15 2
3429 Being a Munchkin in the show will be fun! Not everyone can be Toto. 1.2375 0.05409 80 63 15 2
3430 You'll learn to love your adopted brother. And he will teach you to bark! 1.2375 0.05694 80 64 13 3
3431 He graduated from obedience school, that’s why” 1.2375 0.05965 80 65 11 4
3432 Because you were the accident 1.2375 0.05694 80 64 13 3
3433 I told you, it's a dog's life. 1.2368 0.05254 76 59 16 1
3434 Bathroom? Outside? Good boi! 1.2368 0.05578 76 60 14 2
3435 See--You're big brother, Buddy, is holding my hand nicely." 1.2368 0.06720 76 64 6 6
3436 You can't just pee on things like your brother does. 1.2368 0.05884 76 61 12 3
3437 I’ll look at it this way, at least you won’t have to share your toys 1.2368 0.05578 76 60 14 2
3438 - See your brother, he's so nice ! - Daddy it's a dog !!! 1.2368 0.05884 76 61 12 3
3439 Why am I never the good boy? 1.2368 0.05578 76 60 14 2
3440 I told you Billy, I love all my children equally. 1.2366 0.05801 93 77 10 6
3441 It's O.K. Billy,it was a lucky punch. 1.2361 0.05764 72 57 13 2
3442 As I watched him melt-down yet again, I wondered who could ever thought it was me that needed a leash? 1.2361 0.06094 72 58 11 3
3443 Remember Johnny,clothes don 1.2361 0.06094 72 58 11 3
3444 It's over now. She apologized, you accepted. Now shake. 1.2361 0.06407 72 59 9 4
3445 Don't feel bad; it's better that I treat him like a little boy rather than treat you like a little dog! 1.2361 0.05764 72 57 13 2
3446 Hey, I love you both the same. 1.2361 0.05764 72 57 13 2
3447 So what if your brother looks like a dog. 1.2361 0.06407 72 59 9 4
3448 Why can't you be more like your Vizsla? 1.2361 0.06407 72 59 9 4
3449 Sorry, Tommy... dogs are man's best friend, not boy's best friend! Ha ha. 1.2361 0.06094 72 58 11 3
3450 Don't worry, you're our second favorite son. 1.2361 0.06407 72 59 9 4
3451 He is NOT my brother! 1.2361 0.06094 72 58 11 3
3452 Don’t be so catty. 1.2361 0.06706 72 60 7 5
3453 Meet Alex and my woof... i mean good, son. 1.2361 0.06407 72 59 9 4
3454 I know this change has been ruff on you, but you have to be nice to your brother. 1.2361 0.05414 72 56 15 1
3455 Yeah,his legs are skinny but can you sniff butt? 1.2353 0.05712 85 69 12 4
3456 Why can't you hold my hand like this handsome guy? 1.2353 0.05712 85 69 12 4
3457 Then, when you've learnt to catch the ball and roll over, you can get some dry biscuits. 1.2346 0.05349 81 64 15 2
3458 When you walk on all fours I will buy you a fancy new outfit, too. 1.2346 0.05349 81 64 15 2
3459 No it’s your turn to walk Toby to dog school today. 1.2346 0.05053 81 63 17 1
3460 You'll get a fancy suit yourself once you're more obedient. 1.2346 0.05349 81 64 15 2
3461 Learn to bury your poo too 1.2346 0.05630 81 65 13 3
3462 He's just borrowing them. You'll get them back after the dog show. 1.2338 0.05514 77 61 14 2
3463 Don't listen to the kids at school. You're still awesome even if don't have a tail like your little brother. 1.2329 0.05349 73 57 15 1
3464 Fido loved obedience school. 1.2329 0.06019 73 59 11 3
3465 Stop being such a specieist! 1.2329 0.06019 73 59 11 3
3466 This is our new dog, Rosalia. She looks like a dachshund and her tag says “Olga” but she assures us she’s a Spanish Mastiff and she’s always been a Spanish Mastiff. 1.2329 0.06019 73 59 11 3
3467 Why pick a fight, son, when he's dog tired. 1.2329 0.05694 73 58 13 2
3468 I'm sorry to play favorites, but he's my best friend afterall. 1.2329 0.04981 73 56 17 0
3469 See Spot. See Spot's smart outfit. Be smart like Spot. 1.2329 0.05694 73 58 13 2
3470 No Timmy! That was only a joke. We aren't gonna' trade you for him." 1.2329 0.05694 73 58 13 2
3471 Dad why did you have sex with a dog? 1.2329 0.06902 73 62 5 6
3472 He's okay with the idea of being adopted. Why aren't you? 1.2329 0.05694 73 58 13 2
3473 Sparky's going to doggy school 1.2329 0.05694 73 58 13 2
3474 Sit boy, Sit! 1.2329 0.05694 73 58 13 2
3475 Why can't you be more like Mr. Pickles? 1.2329 0.06019 73 59 11 3
3476 Don’t be angry! It’s the clothes that make the dog. 1.2329 0.06019 73 59 11 3
3477 No Son, I can't put you on a Leash... 1.2329 0.06019 73 59 11 3
3478 You can be Daddy's bad boy. 1.2329 0.05694 73 58 13 2
3479 You have to put it on because you’re twins. 1.2329 0.06019 73 59 11 3
3480 Honey, just thank your lucky stars I didn't dress you like Spot! 1.2329 0.05694 73 58 13 2
3481 And if you add a really good caption to the drawing they still never pick it. 1.2329 0.06019 73 59 11 3
3482 Johnny,how do you expect us to win the Westminster Dog Show if you insist on being a boy? 1.2329 0.06019 73 59 11 3
3483 Don't worry, Timmy. We made sure that BOTH of you will inherit our fortune equally. 1.2329 0.04981 73 56 17 0
3484 It's just temporary until I find your brother. 1.2329 0.05349 73 57 15 1
3485 The house is so crowded I signed the dog up for school too! 1.2329 0.06327 73 60 9 4
3486 Ok, Please! Now be nice. Your mother and I picked Cavalier to be our ideal child before we had children. He's trying to set a good example for you. 1.2329 0.04981 73 56 17 0
3487 Brody, honey, didn’t we tell you that the doggie would get into your clothes if you left them on the floor? We weren’t scared about him ripping them, we knew he would ultimately wear it better… 1.2329 0.06019 73 59 11 3
3488 Why can't you be more like your smarter brother?" 1.2329 0.05694 73 58 13 2
3489 No, you don't have to stop at every tree. 1.2329 0.05694 73 58 13 2
3490 You got to sit in the front seat last time. Your brother gets the front seat this trip. 1.2329 0.06327 73 60 9 4
3491 Look Billy you cannot go the obedience school with Fido. 1.2329 0.05694 73 58 13 2
3492 During Covid, we were not able to adopt a baby sister for you. 1.2329 0.06019 73 59 11 3
3493 You should be happy Buddy got in to his first choice of obedience schools. 1.2329 0.05349 73 57 15 1
3494 It's a joke - he is not really your brother! 1.2329 0.05349 73 57 15 1
3495 Now, boys, when that family called your mother a bitch, they were just being literal. 1.2329 0.06019 73 59 11 3
3496 Rufus came over for a play date. 1.2329 0.06019 73 59 11 3
3497 Did you like drinking out of his bowl? 1.2329 0.06019 73 59 11 3
3498 what a pawltry handshake 1.2329 0.06019 73 59 11 3
3499 Why don't I get to go to the private school too? 1.2329 0.06019 73 59 11 3
3500 Don't make me get the leash, Billy. 1.2329 0.06019 73 59 11 3
3501 Don't worry, he has his own 529 account. 1.2329 0.06019 73 59 11 3
3502 But,I want to live a dog’s life! 1.2329 0.05349 73 57 15 1
3503 But he’s a good boy. 1.2329 0.05694 73 58 13 2
3504 Because he's man's best friend and you're not, that's why. 1.2329 0.05349 73 57 15 1
3505 Don't be so jealous. Of course he can perform 'en pointe' better than you. He's a pointer. 1.2329 0.05349 73 57 15 1
3506 I'll give you a treat-treat if you walk Buddy to his first class." 1.2329 0.05694 73 58 13 2
3507 If the adoption goes through you will have a little brother and we will have another tax exemption. ' 1.2329 0.05349 73 57 15 1
3508 Don't hit your brother, he's our favorite. 1.2329 0.05694 73 58 13 2
3509 Don't make me get the leash again! 1.2329 0.06019 73 59 11 3
3510 Come on Cameron. You know we are all trying to help Oliver get over his realization that he actually is a son of a bitch. 1.2329 0.06019 73 59 11 3
3511 I already told you, Mommy's being groomed and then is going for obedience training. Now make up with your brother. 1.2329 0.05349 73 57 15 1
3512 Hey Jimmy, It's OK, I'll get you a hotdog next time! 1.2329 0.05349 73 57 15 1
3513 Tell you what, you can help me spend the extra stimulus money we get for your “brother.” 1.2329 0.05694 73 58 13 2
3514 'Who's a good boy?' is not a lame question, Ricky. 1.2329 0.05349 73 57 15 1
3515 Honey, we need to get another stimulus check somehow. 1.2329 0.05349 73 57 15 1
3516 How come He can go barefoot? 1.2329 0.05349 73 57 15 1
3517 Bailey gets a fancy suit because he made it into the elite obedience school. 1.2329 0.06019 73 59 11 3
3518 Who's a good boy? Is Wyatt a good boy? 1.2329 0.06019 73 59 11 3
3519 Who's a good boy? Who's a good boy? Not you because you're having another tantrum. 1.2329 0.05694 73 58 13 2
3520 Don't worry. You're going to like your new little house. You won't have to pick up your toys. 1.2329 0.06327 73 60 9 4
3521 Only your sister can act like a bitch. 1.2329 0.05349 73 57 15 1
3522 Gamma Male isn't so bad 1.2329 0.04981 73 56 17 0
3523 Look Skipper, even Mister Wiggles doesn't mind wearing the new school 1.2329 0.06327 73 60 9 4
3524 Sorry, kid. You were a great candidate but human babies are down 13% for virtue signaling this year compared to canines. 1.2329 0.05694 73 58 13 2
3525 Who's on First ? 1.2329 0.06327 73 60 9 4
3526 A dog is also a boys best friend!” 1.2329 0.05349 73 57 15 1
3527 Now behave yourself or you will be going to obedience school as well. 1.2329 0.05349 73 57 15 1
3528 We used your college fund for doggy daycare. 1.2329 0.04981 73 56 16 0
3529 You can have a treat as soon as you graduate from obedience school. 1.2329 0.05349 73 57 15 1
3530 Now, be nice to my favorite child Billy. 1.2329 0.05694 73 58 13 2
3531 You always wanted a little brother. 1.2329 0.05694 73 58 13 2
3532 Stop your barking. Fido isn't barking. 1.2329 0.04981 73 56 17 0
3533 He's a good boy. Why can"t you be more like him? 1.2329 0.06019 73 59 11 3
3534 C'mon, it'll be fun! Just dress like this for the party and I promise we'll never wear the outfits again. 1.2329 0.05349 73 57 15 1
3535 Good boy. Give me your paw. 1.2329 0.05694 73 58 13 2
3536 Hey little man, not a problem. Beef rawhide? Or do you want another chicken one? 1.2329 0.06019 73 59 11 3
3537 BUT he is not my "DAWG" 1.2329 0.05694 73 58 13 2
3538 Come on...you wouldn't like to be on a leash ether. 1.2329 0.05694 73 58 13 2
3539 He’s my favorite because he doesn’t bite and he likes to dress up 1.2329 0.05694 73 58 13 2
3540 Rover, if Cindy wants to dress like a boy, it's HER business! 1.2329 0.04981 73 56 17 0
3541 You're both four, but he's really eleven. You should learn to respect your elders! 1.2329 0.04981 73 56 17 0
3542 I don't care if you like him or not. Get the blue bag. 1.2329 0.05349 73 57 15 1
3543 You are going to the dog house, too, son. 1.2329 0.04981 73 56 17 0
3544 You should be more like Reginald, he was out of pull-ups by two" 1.2329 0.05694 73 58 13 2
3545 Don't feel bad. As long as he does it anywhere outside we call it a win for him. You have a much smaller target. 1.2329 0.06019 73 59 11 3
3546 Georgie, you promised to treat Duke like a member of the family. Now beg! 1.2329 0.05694 73 58 13 2
3547 Well, you didn't want to wear the suit your mom bought, and Spitz did. So think about that when time comes to vote. 1.2329 0.06327 73 60 9 4
3548 Stop calling your stepmom a bitch and he won’t bite you. 1.2329 0.06019 73 59 11 3
3549 Stop acting like a jackass. He's your best friend. 1.2329 0.06019 73 59 11 3
3550 Stop scowling he said your grades were fine 1.2329 0.05694 73 58 13 2
3551 Oh come on now. He's all suited up!! 1.2329 0.05694 73 58 13 2
3552 Yes, I know it’s not fair that you always have to throw the ball. 1.2329 0.05694 73 58 13 2
3553 It's time to make up. Come on now, shake! 1.2329 0.06019 73 59 11 3
3554 He learned to use the toilet! So can you! 1.2329 0.05694 73 58 13 2
3555 Why so possessive? You used to hate having to wear that suit! 1.2329 0.05694 73 58 13 2
3556 Mom and I named him Zanax. 1.2329 0.05349 73 57 15 1
3557 Runner-up is not so bad considering 'Fetch' is simply in his DNA. 1.2329 0.05694 73 58 13 2
3558 Just because he is better dressed doesn't make me love him more. 1.2329 0.06019 73 59 11 3
3559 Now, now! Just because Freddie is adopted doesn't mean that he isn't your real brother! 1.2329 0.04981 73 56 17 0
3560 Cheer up Billy, little brothers make great subjects for experiments! 1.2329 0.06019 73 59 11 3
3561 Don’t be such a sore loser and get the leash. 1.2329 0.05694 73 58 13 2
3562 You can share the bike... 1.2329 0.06019 73 59 11 3
3563 ..and when YOU obey, Jimmy, you can get a new suit, too. 1.2329 0.06019 73 59 11 3
3564 But he's a nice son of a bitch, so play nicely. 1.2329 0.05694 73 58 13 2
3565 Even though he's adopted, we love him just as much as we love you. 1.2329 0.05694 73 58 13 2
3566 Now,be a good boy and put on your doggie suit. 1.2329 0.05349 73 57 15 1
3567 If you stop barking, I’ll buy you a new suit, too. 1.2329 0.06019 73 59 11 3
3568 Now calm down! You will get some nice clothes too. 1.2329 0.06019 73 59 11 3
3569 All right! As soon as we drop Rover off at school we’ll go for a walk. 1.2329 0.05694 73 58 13 2
3570 You were the adopted one, Timmy" 1.2329 0.06019 73 59 11 3
3571 Yes, he was Best in Show, but you are Best in Play-Do! 1.2329 0.05349 73 57 15 1
3572 Chill, Donnie. You were a great Little Lord Fauntleroy, but he had the better costume. 1.2329 0.06019 73 59 11 3
3573 Ugh no one cares about your TikTok videos, Dad. 1.2329 0.06327 73 60 9 4
3574 Jimmy, if you want to be able to dress like Max, then you are going to have to obey my commands like Max. 1.2329 0.06019 73 59 11 3
3575 You're going to like it at training school 1.2329 0.05349 73 57 15 1
3576 Don't be upset. Mom and I love you almost as much! 1.2329 0.06327 73 60 9 4
3577 Don’t be insensitive, Junior, sniffing his bottom is how they say ‘Hello’! 1.2329 0.05524 73 60 10 3
3578 No! You cannot go to Dog Obedience School. 1.2329 0.05349 73 57 15 1
3579 Believe me, he doesn't have your dime! 1.2329 0.06019 73 59 11 3
3580 Now, now, why can't you be more like your brother? 1.2329 0.05349 73 57 15 1
3581 Now remember, Son. No biting. 1.2329 0.06019 73 59 11 3
3582 Now why don’t you be a good boy like your brother? 1.2329 0.05694 73 58 13 2
3583 Don't frown..You'll get the jacket and pants when he outgrows them. 1.2329 0.05694 73 58 13 2
3584 Now, fetch. 1.2329 0.05349 73 57 15 1
3585 Dad,I want that Dog Face Mask for next Christmas! 1.2329 0.06019 73 59 11 3
3586 Of course we love you too! We only put him in private school because he gets good grades. 1.2329 0.05694 73 58 13 2
3587 Because she doesn't act like a little bitch, that's why. 1.2329 0.06019 73 59 11 3
3588 He gets afraid when you bark, son 1.2329 0.06019 73 59 11 3
3589 Now Joey, Barkley needs you to like him on Instagram. 1.2329 0.06019 73 59 11 3
3590 He got your mommy’s fur but you little guy got mommy’s temper. 1.2329 0.05694 73 58 13 2
3591 You know I love you both the same. I'll take you to the zoo tomorrow. 1.2329 0.05349 73 57 15 1
3592 Now, now Steven... yes, he's the #1 AKC in our family, but you'll always be the #1 OCD. 1.2329 0.05694 73 58 13 2
3593 When a man loves a dog very much... 1.2329 0.05694 73 58 13 2
3594 Don't get so upset! It is quite proper to call a female dog a bitch. 1.2329 0.06327 73 60 9 4
3595 You'd get a treat too,if you finished Magna Com Here Boy in obedience school. 1.2329 0.06019 73 59 11 3
3596 Leave it, or I'll trade you in just like I did for you little brother. 1.2329 0.06019 73 59 11 3
3597 She might be a bitch but she is your new mother. 1.2329 0.05694 73 58 13 2
3598 No, son. *We* don't bite. Other families might be different. 1.2329 0.06019 73 59 11 3
3599 I know you were born the same year, but I swear Bingo is seven times more mature than you, son. 1.2329 0.05349 73 57 15 1
3600 When will you learn to put on the dog? 1.2329 0.05349 73 57 15 1
3601 C'mon now, be a good boy and let him have them. He begged and begged. 1.2329 0.05349 73 57 15 1
3602 Don't be silly Baxter. Of course I don't love James more 1.2329 0.05694 73 58 13 2
3603 Andy, I love you both equally! 1.2329 0.05694 73 58 13 2
3604 Time to go, Fitz and the Tantrums. 1.2329 0.05349 73 57 15 1
3605 I can see puppy dog eyes aren't exactly your thing Billy. 1.2329 0.05349 73 57 15 1
3606 Archie, Sweetheart, I was talking about Phido’s mommy. 1.2329 0.05694 73 58 13 2
3607 I just know you two will be the best of friends! 1.2329 0.05694 73 58 13 2
3608 Don't worry son, your new brother is a good boy! 1.2329 0.05694 73 58 13 2
3609 I’m sorry, sweetie—you just didn’t meet St. George’s olfactory requirements. 1.2329 0.05694 73 58 13 2
3610 When you’re a good boy, you can have a treat too! 1.2329 0.05694 73 58 13 2
3611 You're cute, but he has a tail. 1.2329 0.05694 73 58 13 2
3612 Doesn’t your brother look dapper in his new outfit? 1.2329 0.05694 73 58 13 2
3613 When you learn not to pee your pants, you can have a little suit like his too 1.2329 0.05694 73 58 13 2
3614 The apparel doth oft proclaim the dog! 1.2329 0.05349 73 57 15 1
3615 Don’t worry, I will buy you a suit when you grow up. 1.2329 0.06019 73 59 11 3
3616 Now, now, Ruddeger. You're BOTH sons of a bitch. 1.2329 0.05694 73 58 13 2
3617 Soon as you learn to bark we will get you a nice lil suit too! 1.2329 0.05694 73 58 13 2
3618 Will you be happy if I give you a little dog suit? 1.2329 0.06019 73 59 11 3
3619 Don't worry, you can opt out of wearing the home schooling uniform. 1.2329 0.06019 73 59 11 3
3620 In dog years, you should be much better behaved. 1.2329 0.05694 73 58 13 2
3621 Please play along. I promise to feed and walk you. 1.2329 0.05349 73 57 15 1
3622 I'm sorry Piers but maybe instead of blaming the bloody bat you could play with Benji here". ? 1.2329 0.05694 73 58 13 2
3623 Why can't you be domesticated like your brother? 1.2329 0.05694 73 58 13 2
3624 It’s your brother’s turn to pick the park. I’m sure you’ll have fun in the water feature even if there is no slide. 1.2329 0.05694 73 58 13 2
3625 Son, Meet fido in her fetching outfit. 1.2329 0.05349 73 57 15 1
3626 The 'Who's a Good Boy' Contest had to be settled eventually. 1.2329 0.06327 73 60 9 4
3627 How would you like to go to obedience school, Donald? 1.2329 0.05694 73 58 13 2
3628 You said you'd rather go to doggy day care than spend another minute with Aunt Betty. 1.2329 0.05349 73 57 15 1
3629 That's Mr. Charlie to you. 1.2329 0.05694 73 58 13 2
3630 You can be my best friend, once-removed. 1.2329 0.05694 73 58 13 2
3631 I am very proud of you too 1.2329 0.05349 73 57 15 1
3632 Teddy got the tail cuz Mommy’s a bitch. 1.2329 0.05694 73 58 13 2
3633 You have to remember, Jeremy. It's a dog's life. 1.2329 0.05694 73 58 13 2
3634 I promise, you’re still my favorite child! 1.2329 0.05349 73 57 15 1
3635 Come on. He is the same age as you and much better behaved. 1.2329 0.05349 73 57 15 1
3636 I know he isn't the little brother you were hoping for, but the difference between training school and college does amazing things to my bottom line." 1.2329 0.05694 73 58 13 2
3637 I told Rex that you came when called, sat up and begged for your dinner and loved chasing sticks. 1.2329 0.05694 73 58 13 2
3638 But dad, he’s only 21 in dog years 1.2329 0.06621 73 61 7 5
3639 Why can’t you be a good boy and fetch like your brother? 1.2329 0.06019 73 59 11 3
3640 Hey, Bud, if you get all A's, I'll take you for a walk, too! 1.2329 0.05349 73 57 15 1
3641 He ate your homework. 1.2329 0.05349 73 57 15 1
3642 Don’t worry, you’re still my lil Red Rocket. 1.2329 0.05694 73 58 13 2
3643 I know son,that tailor’s gone to the dogs. 1.2329 0.05694 73 58 13 2
3644 No she does not have a bone to pick with you 1.2329 0.05349 73 57 15 1
3645 That's a good shake! Now let's see you and Daisy roll over. 1.2329 0.04981 73 56 17 0
3646 The good thing is, you don’t have to wear a matching leash. 1.2329 0.06019 73 59 11 3
3647 This young dog can teach you new tricks. 1.2329 0.05349 73 57 15 1
3648 Walk this way 1.2329 0.05694 73 58 13 2
3649 it's called obedience school 1.2329 0.05694 73 58 13 2
3650 Don't worry, son, it's only the suit that bites 1.2329 0.05349 73 57 15 1
3651 Don't worry you are still my second best friend, Johnny! 1.2329 0.06019 73 59 11 3
3652 Look at it this way. You’ve really outgrown them. 1.2329 0.06327 73 60 9 4
3653 I do love you too.. now sit, speak, and then fetch! 1.2329 0.05694 73 58 13 2
3654 He promises not to cut any more holes in the back of your pants. 1.2329 0.05694 73 58 13 2
3655 Come on...be a good boy, like Rover 1.2329 0.05694 73 58 13 2
3656 That’s because he went to trying school. 1.2329 0.06019 73 59 11 3
3657 Now, Tommy, I don't prefer Buster to you. I love both my children equally. 1.2329 0.05694 73 58 13 2
3658 No, *I'M* the good boy! 1.2329 0.05694 73 58 13 2
3659 If you walked on all fours and had a tail, but could dress, look and act as well as Fido...I'd love you, too! 1.2329 0.06019 73 59 11 3
3660 Give us your clothes Jonny. 1.2329 0.05349 73 57 15 1
3661 This is Sniffer; your new babysitter and bedwetting alarm. 1.2329 0.04981 73 56 17 0
3662 But daddd, It's take your KID to work day! 1.2329 0.05694 73 58 13 2
3663 If YOU licked my hand, I would love you just as much. 1.2329 0.05349 73 57 15 1
3664 He's a dachshund, Jimmy. He won't do anything I say either. 1.2329 0.06327 73 60 9 4
3665 No, dear, I do not love him more than you. I love you both equally. 1.2329 0.05694 73 58 13 2
3666 It's OK! You once had a tail too!! 1.2329 0.05694 73 58 13 2
3667 I hate well dressed dogs. 1.2329 0.05349 73 57 15 1
3668 You're still second best! 1.2329 0.05694 73 58 13 2
3669 Williamsport is over, let’s win at Westminster. 1.2329 0.06327 73 60 9 4
3670 Now, Just who wants to go first to get this little vaccine? 1.2329 0.05694 73 58 13 2
3671 AS SOON AS YOU LEARN TO BARK ,YOU CAN HAVE A SUIT TOO 1.2329 0.06327 73 60 9 4
3672 I’ll play with you when you stop pooping in my bed. 1.2329 0.06327 73 60 9 4
3673 He's about to speak, boy. 1.2329 0.05349 73 57 15 1
3674 Daddy doesn't have a favorite. 1.2329 0.05694 73 58 13 2
3675 Don't me mad, you're a good boy too 1.2329 0.05349 73 57 15 1
3676 Hey! Now Wags both is and looks smarter than you! 1.2329 0.06019 73 59 11 3
3677 Tom, that’s not true. I love you both the same. 1.2329 0.05349 73 57 15 1
3678 Caleb, it's time you start walking the dog. 1.2329 0.06019 73 59 11 3
3679 Don't worry, son - he's not taking your place. It's just some home training. 1.2329 0.05694 73 58 13 2
3680 Oh come on, Timmy, how weird would it be if I were best friends with my son? 1.2329 0.06019 73 59 11 3
3681 Why does HE get all the treats? 1.2329 0.05349 73 57 15 1
3682 : Be a good boy, now. 2020 has won. Your sibling's obedience school paid off. I guess, I need a refund on your school fees. 1.2329 0.05694 73 58 13 2
3683 Dad, stop dressing the dog! 1.2329 0.06327 73 60 9 4
3684 For the last time, there’s nothing wrong with daddy’s eyesight, now take your brother into the kitchen and get ready for breakfast. 1.2329 0.06019 73 59 11 3
3685 Why not try being a good boy like your older brother Tofu? 1.2329 0.06019 73 59 11 3
3686 I want us to make friends. 1.2329 0.05349 73 57 15 1
3687 Does he have to come, Dad? 1.2329 0.04981 73 56 17 0
3688 If you just applied yourself a bit more you too could be the teacher’s pet 1.2329 0.05349 73 57 15 1
3689 C’mon, just be a good boy 1.2329 0.06019 73 59 11 3
3690 Doggone it! You think he’s more fetching than I!! 1.2329 0.06019 73 59 11 3
3691 He did better on his SATs! You'd hate college anyway. 1.2329 0.05694 73 58 13 2
3692 We named the dog Indiana 1.2329 0.06019 73 59 11 3
3693 C’mon... you said you wanted a sister! 1.2329 0.05349 73 57 15 1
3694 Now, now, Jimmy. Your homework must've needed reworking. 1.2329 0.05524 73 60 10 3
3695 I love you, but he will always be my first born. 1.2329 0.06019 73 59 11 3
3696 Why can't you be as good of a boy as your brother? 1.2329 0.06019 73 59 11 3
3697 I know we have always called you Bobby, but it just suits him so much better. 1.2329 0.05694 73 58 13 2
3698 I told you I don’t have a favorite. I love both my children equal. 1.2329 0.06019 73 59 11 3
3699 This just until we get the stimulus check, I swear. 1.2329 0.05694 73 58 13 2
3700 I promise I don’t love the dog more than you. 1.2329 0.05694 73 58 13 2
3701 In dog years he's an eighth grader. 1.2329 0.04981 73 56 17 0
3702 Sorry, Donald, but we decided to invest our money on our highest potential kid... 1.2329 0.06019 73 59 11 3
3703 Meet our new year’s family member “Dependent” 1.2329 0.05694 73 58 13 2
3704 I'm sorry Angel, shopping for dogs clothes is just a lot simpler these days" 1.2329 0.06019 73 59 11 3
3705 Yes Billy, your mom can be a b$tch sometimes 1.2329 0.05694 73 58 13 2
3706 I know you wanted a puppy, but Rex’s breeding is impeccable. 1.2329 0.05694 73 58 13 2
3707 Look at your brother! Why can’t you be a good boy like him? 1.2329 0.05349 73 57 15 1
3708 I’m sorry, he just gets more Instagram likes then you. 1.2329 0.05694 73 58 13 2
3709 If you keep misbehaving I’ll have to get your leash 1.2329 0.05694 73 58 13 2
3710 You need to behave like Toby here to be called a Good Boy 1.2329 0.06327 73 60 9 4
3711 Oh, I see you're still working on 'sit' with him. 1.2329 0.05349 73 57 15 1
3712 Whose really in the dog house now? 1.2329 0.05349 73 57 15 1
3713 Don't be jealous son, we can get you a suit too 1.2329 0.05694 73 58 13 2
3714 but look how cute he looks! 1.2329 0.05694 73 58 13 2
3715 You’re not quite a man yet, but he can still be your best friend. 1.2329 0.06019 73 59 11 3
3716 Don't worry. I'll take you for a walk next. 1.2329 0.05694 73 58 13 2
3717 Dress for the parents you want, not the parents you have! 1.2329 0.06327 73 60 9 4
3718 Donald, play nice with Pawsident Biden or you’re going to timeout. 1.2329 0.06327 73 60 9 4
3719 But you were born before your mother was a b*tch 1.2329 0.06327 73 60 9 4
3720 And that's why you'll never be daddys best friend 1.2329 0.04981 73 56 17 0
3721 Pawrental control 1.2329 0.04981 73 56 17 0
3722 You didnt know you were adopted too? 1.2329 0.06019 73 59 11 3
3723 He put kibbles in your cereal bowl because he just wants you to treat him the same way. 1.2329 0.06327 73 60 9 4
3724 Try to be a good boy just like your brother. 1.2329 0.05694 73 58 13 2
3725 I’ll buy you a fancy little outfit too when you start acting like a good boy 1.2329 0.06019 73 59 11 3
3726 You can have a best friend one day too! 1.2329 0.05349 73 57 15 1
3727 If you’re wondering the answer is yes, I love him more than you now that he stands upright and wears fancy short pants. 1.2329 0.06019 73 59 11 3
3728 Don't be a little bitch! 1.2329 0.06621 73 61 7 5
3729 no you’re my good boy too 1.2329 0.05694 73 58 13 2
3730 Son, home schooling just works better for some than others. 1.2308 0.05137 78 61 16 1
3731 Of course you're not as cute as Mr. Bojangles. How could you be? 1.2297 0.05625 74 59 13 2
3732 You keep your paws off him. He'll keep his paws off you. 1.2297 0.05286 74 58 15 1
3733 We'll go shopping when you stop wetting the bed!" 1.2297 0.05625 74 59 13 2
3734 Who’s a bad boy? Who’s a bad boy? That’s right: you are! 1.2297 0.05286 74 58 15 1
3735 You said you wanted a dog. 1.2297 0.05945 74 60 11 3
3736 Daddy loves you just as much as Clarence. 1.2297 0.05945 74 60 11 3
3737 Come on, think about it, look what Obedience School did for Rex 1.2297 0.05625 74 59 13 2
3738 Play nicely with your brother now 1.2297 0.05945 74 60 11 3
3739 No, I told you I was getting him tutored. 1.2297 0.05945 74 60 11 3
3740 How do you like it Gruff? We got you a tailored suit! 1.2297 0.06249 74 61 9 4
3741 Why can’t you behave like your brother Fido? 1.2297 0.05625 74 59 13 2
3742 Jonathan, meet your little brother Rowlf 1.2297 0.05945 74 60 11 3
3743 Rufus’s Instagram posts take priority is why 1.2297 0.05286 74 58 15 1
3744 Awww, Billy, I'm sorry Fido beat you at chess. At least you can fetch better! 1.2297 0.05286 74 58 15 1
3745 And who the hell are you? 1.2297 0.06538 74 62 7 5
3746 I know I’m adopted, but are you sure he’s not adopted too? 1.2278 0.05961 79 65 10 4
3747 Why can’t you behave like your brother? 1.2267 0.06173 75 62 9 4
3748 He’s now your COVID little brother. 1.2254 0.05743 71 57 12 2
3749 We thought this dog was the best suited pet for you. 1.2254 0.05743 71 57 12 2
3750 Cheer up! No more hand-me-down clothing for you. 1.2254 0.05382 71 56 14 1
3751 Aha come on buddy, it’s easy, it’s called the fox terrier trot. 1.2254 0.05743 71 57 12 2
3752 C'mon Buddy. You're tired of remote learning and ole' Fido says she can teach you some new lessons in-person. 1.2254 0.06084 71 58 10 3
3753 Now, now Tommy... Do I need to send you to obedience school too? 1.2254 0.05743 71 57 12 2
3754 He'll out grow it! 1.2254 0.05382 71 56 14 1
3755 Just because I said 'good boy' doesn't mean I like him better. 1.2254 0.06084 71 58 10 3
3756 But he’s been a very good boy! 1.2254 0.05382 71 56 14 1
3757 At least the doggy listens to me. 1.2254 0.05382 71 56 14 1
3758 Be nice to Buddy. I think he’d be more than happy to switch his kennel for your room. 1.2254 0.05382 71 56 14 1
3759 Dad... you said I was your best friend! 1.2254 0.05743 71 57 12 2
3760 It's ok, you're just not as good of a boy as he is. 1.2254 0.05743 71 57 12 2
3761 I’m sorry it took so long to get both of you back in your regular bodies, but we had some good laughs right? 1.2254 0.05743 71 57 12 2
3762 He’s my best friend but you’re a close second. 1.2254 0.04994 71 55 16 0
3763 Buddy, you just wouldn't look right in a suit. 1.2254 0.05382 71 56 14 1
3764 ‘Yes Davey, it’s still 2020 and this is normal.’ 1.2254 0.05743 71 57 12 2
3765 You know I don’t have favorites 1.2254 0.05382 71 56 14 1
3766 Say Bow Wow to our decked out doggy 1.2250 0.05618 80 65 12 3
3767 Next year you will have your own fire hydrant. 1.2250 0.05618 80 65 12 3
3768 Ok, let's get you into that collar! 1.2245 0.07299 49 40 7 2
3769 You wanted and older brother. 1.2237 0.06098 76 63 9 4
3770 Look,I found a better son! 1.2237 0.05803 76 62 11 3
3771 He got a biscuit because HE used the newspaper, NOT the new carpet!” 1.2237 0.05803 76 62 11 3
3772 “ Hold my paw, boy. No joke.” 1.2222 0.05672 72 58 12 2
3773 If you eat Kibbles and Bits, you'll get a shiny coat, too. 1.2222 0.06007 72 59 10 3
3774 Mommy and I realized that you already had a brother and we didn't need to make a new one. 1.2222 0.05316 72 57 14 1
3775 Slow down, you'll be wearing his dress next year... 1.2222 0.06007 72 59 10 3
3776 Who's a good boy? Daddy loves you! Now stop pouting. 1.2222 0.05672 72 58 12 2
3777 I love you too Billy,just not as much 1.2222 0.05672 72 58 12 2
3778 You're already house-broken. 1.2222 0.05672 72 58 12 2
3779 The precise moment Tommy was told his sister was adopted. 1.2222 0.06007 72 59 10 3
3780 I'm sorry your Mom and I split. But meet your new little brother. I'm sure you will be best friends. 1.2222 0.04934 72 56 16 0
3781 I am mad because Trump Lost!!! 1.2222 0.06915 72 62 4 6
3782 You outgrew it, and it does look better on him. 1.2222 0.05316 72 57 14 1
3783 If he comes to school with you he could not only eat your homework, but also learn how to do it for you. 1.2222 0.05672 72 58 12 2
3784 When you're housebroken, you can have ice cream too. 1.2222 0.05672 72 58 12 2
3785 Let's go play fetch. 1.2222 0.05672 72 58 12 2
3786 Donny, I’ll make you wear a leash if you keep running away to Georgia every time you get upset. 1.2222 0.05672 72 58 12 2
3787 Yes Timmy, I know, life is ruff, but he just has a stronger resume than you. 1.2222 0.05672 72 58 12 2
3788 Sorry Tommy but Mister Nips has more likes on Instagram so he gets the bed tonight 1.2222 0.06007 72 59 10 3
3789 Don’t feel bad, he’s giving you his chew toy. 1.2222 0.05672 72 58 12 2
3790 See tommy, following commands is rewarded with love 1.2222 0.06007 72 59 10 3
3791 No, I don’t love him more than you. I love you both the same. 1.2222 0.06324 72 60 8 4
3792 Sorry kid, due to 2020, and, well um, biology, he’ll always have a leg up on ya. 1.2222 0.06324 72 60 8 4
3793 Like I’ve told you before, I don’t have a favorite! 1.2222 0.06007 72 59 10 3
3794 It’s your turn to be the family pet, Bobby. 1.2206 0.05869 68 55 11 2
3795 Now you see what a good boy looks like " 1.2206 0.05869 68 55 11 2
3796 Aw, don't be too jealous. He has a fraction of your life expectancy. 1.2206 0.05066 68 53 15 0
3797 Use your words — except for ‘sit,’ ‘fetch,’ ‘shake,’ and ‘play dead.’’ 1.2206 0.05482 68 54 13 1
3798 He bites me and wears all my clothes. 1.2206 0.05482 68 54 13 1
3799 It's 2020. We can't be too choosy. 1.2206 0.05869 68 55 11 2
3800 Jason, I know you want to be a good boy like Spot, 1.2206 0.05869 68 55 11 2
3801 Don't make me have to put you back on your leash. 1.2206 0.05869 68 55 11 2
3802 I asked for a brother 1.2206 0.05482 68 54 13 1
3803 I promise, Johnny, next time you'll get to wear it first. 1.2206 0.06231 68 56 9 3
3804 Look! You don't want him to feel embarrassed in front of his friends, do you? 1.2206 0.06231 68 56 9 3
3805 Don't get jealous son, you know we love both of you equally. 1.2206 0.05482 68 54 13 1
3806 If you behave properly off-leash, you can have a nice suit too. 1.2206 0.05482 68 54 13 1
3807 Stop whining or no more treats. 1.2206 0.05869 68 55 11 2
3808 If you start behaving and being good like your little sister, I will give you a treat, too. 1.2206 0.05869 68 55 11 2
3809 Well this time it's your brother's turn, and he wants to go walkies! 1.2206 0.05066 68 53 15 0
3810 It doesn't matter how much better you did on the written exam 1.2206 0.05869 68 54 11 2
3811 Unlike you, he dressed for success, which means you get to go to doggy day care today! 1.2206 0.05482 68 54 13 1
3812 He may be adopted but he is still your brother 1.2206 0.05869 68 55 11 2
3813 I didn't say "Dad's best friend." 1.2206 0.05482 68 54 13 1
3814 Come Billy. Meet your new teacher. 1.2206 0.06231 68 56 9 3
3815 When you learn to heel you can have a suit, too. 1.2206 0.05869 68 55 11 2
3816 Of course, you can have a hot dog! 1.2206 0.05869 68 55 11 2
3817 Now can I put the lease on you? 1.2206 0.05869 68 55 11 2
3818 Now, Benji, you know how things work in our little meritocracy... 1.2206 0.06231 68 56 9 3
3819 Hey, being housebroken has its perks! 1.2206 0.05482 68 54 13 1
3820 Look, I'll take you to Crufts next year, ok? 1.2206 0.05869 68 55 11 2
3821 Guess I was wrong about "all bark and no bite." 1.2206 0.05869 68 55 11 2
3822 But, you don't even like suits. 1.2206 0.05482 68 54 13 1
3823 Come on, Billy. Just because I keep saying "Who's a good dog!" doesn't mean I don't love you, too. 1.2206 0.05869 68 55 11 2
3824 Don't be jealous, we are now formally a member of the pack. 1.2206 0.05869 68 55 11 2
3825 "He got a new suit because he's housebroken and you're not". 1.2206 0.05482 68 54 13 1
3826 It's your new school uniform. Mickey likes it 1.2206 0.05482 68 54 13 1
3827 Now don't make a fuss, you outgrew that suit long ago. Feel grateful and be glad that you don't have to go to the office like him. You can wear sweats and kick back at home, no worries. 1.2206 0.05869 68 55 11 2
3828 If you're good - you can get a rawhide chew too! 1.2206 0.05482 68 54 13 1
3829 Because you were so mean to him we spent your $600 for his suit. 1.2206 0.05482 68 54 13 1
3830 What? You always said you wanted a brother. 1.2206 0.06231 68 56 9 3
3831 Good news! The Pound has an exchange program. 1.2206 0.05482 68 54 13 1
3832 Come on, Son, you shouldn't judge a dog by the clothes he wears. 1.2206 0.05482 68 54 13 1
3833 Who says you can't teach an old dog new tricks? 1.2206 0.05869 68 55 11 2
3834 No, Billy, suits aren’t just for sissies — now apologize to Doodles. 1.2206 0.06231 68 56 9 3
3835 Your mom asked me to find you a suitable companion. 1.2206 0.05482 68 54 13 1
3836 We love you both equally. 1.2206 0.05066 68 53 15 0
3837 Don't be upset, Johnny. He's what's called a fraternal twin. 1.2206 0.05869 68 55 11 2
3838 And who's not a good boy? 1.2206 0.06231 68 56 9 3
3839 You see Billy, Sparky gets a suit because he's a championship purebred miniature Pinscher. You on the other hand have an emasculating b**** of a mother who is killing me on alimony. 1.2206 0.05869 68 55 11 2
3840 But he doesn’t talk back. 1.2206 0.05066 68 53 15 0
3841 Your brother learned to mute himself, and you will too. 1.2206 0.05869 68 55 11 2
3842 Don't be mad. If you're a good boy, you'll get to go out too. 1.2206 0.05482 68 54 13 1
3843 I'm sorry that my dog is awesome and behaves better than your child. 1.2206 0.05482 68 54 13 1
3844 Your being replaced with Ralph. He is obedient and doesn't talk back. 1.2206 0.06231 68 56 9 3
3845 Goddammit! How can I ever beat a sibling who ages in dog years. 1.2206 0.06231 68 56 9 3
3846 Little Woofie is all dressed up for his birthday! And he wants to cornhole you! 1.2206 0.06231 68 56 9 3
3847 See how much fun you could have if you go to obedience school. 1.2206 0.05869 68 55 11 2
3848 He's man's best friend- and man's best son, too. Sorry kiddo. 1.2206 0.06231 68 56 9 3
3849 Wrong! He's the good boy. 1.2206 0.05482 68 54 13 1
3850 Tommy, say hi to Max. He's a miniature dachshund and your new best friend. 1.2206 0.05869 68 55 11 2
3851 Look who's going to be joining you in obedience school. 1.2206 0.05869 68 55 11 2
3852 Fetching, don't you think? 1.2206 0.05482 68 54 13 1
3853 If you don’t behave I ‘ll send you back to the SPCA. 1.2206 0.05482 68 54 13 1
3854 If you’re number two, it just means you have to try harder. 1.2206 0.05482 68 54 13 1
3855 But, Dad, he's wearing my suit...... 1.2206 0.06231 68 56 9 3
3856 Don’t worry, you’re a good boy too. 1.2206 0.05066 68 53 15 0
3857 Come here, puppy, meet your older brother. 1.2206 0.05066 68 53 15 0
3858 And this is your new little brother, Lord Fauntleroy. 1.2206 0.05482 68 54 13 1
3859 Son, you're behaving like 2020. There'll be lots of changes in 2021. Get used to it. 1.2206 0.05869 68 54 11 2
3860 Awww. c'mon Joey, Fauntleroy will teach you how to read. 1.2206 0.05482 68 54 13 1
3861 Tell Buster you're sorry for burying his bone. 1.2206 0.05066 68 53 15 0
3862 Sorry. I knew this day would come, you’re adopted. 1.2206 0.06231 68 56 9 3
3863 I'm sorry, Billy, but Trixie thought you were ready for the truth about Santa Claus. 1.2206 0.05482 68 54 13 1
3864 You're getting *his* hand-me-downs because he's 15 human-years old. 1.2206 0.05066 68 53 15 0
3865 The dogs have begun taking over human kind, starting with my dad. 1.2206 0.05482 68 54 13 1
3866 It's ok! Your first day of obedience school was just as special. 1.2206 0.05869 68 55 11 2
3867 Hey, you're BOTH good boys. 1.2206 0.05869 68 55 11 2
3868 Next time I’ll let you go barefoot. 1.2206 0.06231 68 56 9 3
3869 Sorry son, this year the dog gets to be Little Lord Fauntleroy. 1.2206 0.06231 68 56 9 3
3870 He's Man's best friend, and you're just a boy. 1.2206 0.05869 68 55 11 2
3871 Now Johnny, if you worked and studied as hard you could be just as doggone good! 1.2206 0.05869 68 55 11 2
3872 Doggie day care will be fun. 1.2206 0.05869 68 55 11 2
3873 Let’s get ice-cream . . . and forget the hydrant! 1.2206 0.06231 68 56 9 3
3874 Who’s a good boy? Who’s a good, good boy? 1.2206 0.05482 68 54 13 1
3875 C’mon! And that’s what we call Paw-ing the Jack! ? 1.2206 0.06231 68 56 9 3
3876 Sure, Fido Tweeted selfies of himself smelling other kids’ butts, Timmy, but let’s not use that as an excuse to cancel a member of your own family! 1.2206 0.06574 68 57 7 4
3877 I know you'll enjoy Zoom kindergarten much more with a friend. 1.2206 0.05482 68 53 13 1
3878 We don't like him more, your suit is being altered. 1.2206 0.05066 68 53 15 0
3879 Next time I bet you won’t hesitate when I ask about back-to-school shopping! 1.2206 0.05482 68 54 13 1
3880 It’s networking, Will. Take “Sir Paw” to the teeter totter and show him a good time. 1.2206 0.05066 68 53 15 0
3881 This way when he runs we can vote for him. 1.2206 0.06574 68 57 7 4
3882 This day has gone to the dogs, stop acting like it's a bad thing. 1.2206 0.05482 68 54 13 1
3883 Daddy doesn’t love Satchmo more! 1.2206 0.05482 68 54 13 1
3884 just because she likes to dress up .. don't worry.. you'll both get candy ! 1.2206 0.06231 68 56 9 3
3885 It shouldn't mater if she told on you or not, you will come to realize how lucky your are just to have a talking dog! 1.2206 0.06574 68 57 7 4
3886 No, Billy, it's not true that Daddy has a favorite child! 1.2206 0.05066 68 53 15 0
3887 Sport would love to play ‘fetch’ when you stop calling him a sissy. 1.2206 0.05482 68 54 13 1
3888 ''IT'S ALRIGHT, MAYBE YOU'LL BRING ME THE STICK, FIRST, NEXT TIME . . . '' 1.2206 0.05066 68 53 15 0
3889 Come now Johnny,you promised to walk your brother to obedience school today. 1.2206 0.05482 68 54 13 1
3890 I promise to take you next year to Take Your Kid to Work day. 1.2206 0.05482 68 54 13 1
3891 Be a good boy Jimmy! 1.2206 0.05869 68 55 11 2
3892 He was toilet trained when he was only 2 months old! 1.2206 0.05482 68 54 13 1
3893 Come on, Petie, you asked for a dog! 1.2206 0.06231 68 56 9 3
3894 loyalty should be illegal! 1.2206 0.05482 68 54 13 1
3895 That's all right- You're a good boy, too. 1.2206 0.05066 68 53 15 0
3896 Sometimes simple problems have complex solutions 1.2206 0.05066 68 53 15 0
3897 But look on the bright side, son -- when somebody calls your new mommy a bitch you won't have to punch them. 1.2206 0.05869 68 55 11 2
3898 I'm sorry, but this dog is just cuter than your pouty face! 1.2206 0.05066 68 53 15 0
3899 Next week it’s your turn to wear the suit. 1.2206 0.05869 68 55 11 2
3900 You have got to stop calling your mother a bitch. Now apologize to your brother. 1.2206 0.05869 68 55 11 2
3901 He’s not even my real brother. 1.2206 0.05066 68 53 15 0
3902 When YOU'RE seven, you can have your first birthday party too! 1.2206 0.05066 68 53 15 0
3903 Dog-gone it. You're supposed to give a bone, not pick a bone, with a dog. 1.2206 0.05482 68 54 13 1
3904 We don’t talk about your sister like that. 1.2206 0.05482 68 54 13 1
3905 Am I going to need to send you to doggie training school too? 1.2206 0.05066 68 53 15 0
3906 Be nice, and no biting! 1.2206 0.05482 68 54 13 1
3907 The dog's smarter than you hun, that why he goes to that fancy, prep school 1.2206 0.05482 68 54 13 1
3908 Hey buddy, if you cheer up I'll give you a treat too. 1.2206 0.05482 68 54 13 1
3909 Ok.....This time you're the pony! 1.2206 0.05482 68 54 13 1
3910 Who's a good boy, Timmy? Who's a good boy? 1.2206 0.05869 68 55 11 2
3911 Why can't you be happy like your sister? 1.2206 0.06231 68 56 9 3
3912 Because he used to be Shoeless Joe Jackson, that's why. 1.2206 0.05482 68 54 13 1
3913 I said he’s a good boy, but you’re still my proud boy! 1.2206 0.05482 68 54 13 1
3914 Williamsport is over son, let's win Westminster. 1.2206 0.05482 68 54 13 1
3915 You have to do your homework because I promised him we'd eat out tonight. 1.2206 0.05066 68 53 15 0
3916 Of course you can go! But you have to bring your little sister, too. 1.2206 0.05066 68 53 15 0
3917 Just because Remington had a ruff upbringing, doesn’t mean he doesn’t deserve the same opportunities as you, Jake. Dogs Lives Matter. 1.2206 0.06231 68 56 9 3
3918 ...I call it, “The Aristocrats!” 1.2206 0.05482 68 54 13 1
3919 He opened the can of beans and so can you! 1.2206 0.05869 68 55 11 2
3920 But you don't get as many likes 1.2206 0.05482 68 54 13 1
3921 We’ll visit you every second weekend 1.2206 0.05869 68 55 11 2
3922 now, now ..must you pick a bone with me just right now ??!! 1.2206 0.05482 68 54 13 1
3923 He’s your best friend and you know it 1.2206 0.05066 68 53 15 0
3924 HE'S MAN'S BEST FRIEND, BUT, YOU ARE STILL MY SON, AND, NO ONE CAN TAKE THAT AWAY FROM YOU! . . . . NOW, YOU TWO ARE GOING TO WALK TOGETHER NICELY OR NO ONE IS GETTING A TREAT! . . . . 1.2206 0.05066 68 53 15 0
3925 Son, you’ll soon be able to go back to school too. 1.2206 0.05482 68 54 13 1
3926 Don't worry Sam, this doesn't make me love you any less. 1.2206 0.05482 68 54 13 1
3927 Who is the goodest boy? 1.2206 0.05869 68 55 11 2
3928 See, I really wasn't joking when I told your brother to stop b**ching! 1.2206 0.06231 68 56 9 3
3929 Try not to interrupt Sam when he is barking. 1.2206 0.05482 68 54 13 1
3930 Jealousy is an ugly color on you Timmy 1.2206 0.05869 68 55 11 2
3931 I told your mom on tinder that I was a dog dad ... 1.2206 0.05869 68 55 11 2
3932 I know he peed on the rug, but he’s still your brother. 1.2206 0.05066 68 53 15 0
3933 You can swap the clothes back tomorrow. I promise. 1.2206 0.05482 68 54 13 1
3934 come on Billy, you do know YOU were an accident 1.2206 0.05482 68 54 13 1
3935 Don’t be a bad sport, Timmy. Rufus won the coin toss. You can wear the Angus Young costume NEXT Halloween! 1.2206 0.06231 68 56 9 3
3936 Look Franklin, no one will know its Mr. Pickles and Mommy really needs a cute Instagram pod play date picture to post! 1.2206 0.05869 68 55 11 2
3937 Zoom Dog Training Courses helped him, Son! Maybe you..? 1.2206 0.05066 68 53 15 0
3938 This isn’t fair! He will always be the good boy! 1.2206 0.05869 68 55 11 2
3939 Son, I know your sister is a dog but that doesn't mean you can call her that word. 1.2206 0.05066 68 53 15 0
3940 Oh come on, don't be angry! When I get promoted I will buy you a similar suit! We have to set priorities, you know?! 1.2206 0.05482 68 54 13 1
3941 I swear he’s not my favorite 🤷‍♂️ 1.2206 0.05482 68 54 13 1
3942 I think it's time to press paws on this conversation. 1.2192 0.05602 73 59 12 2
3943 'Cause he knows how to be a "good boy". 1.2174 0.05792 69 56 11 2
3944 It'll be great! You hit them, he gives therapy... 1.2174 0.05792 69 56 11 2
3945 Soon you'll have a house of your very own. 1.2174 0.05411 69 55 13 1
3946 It may be time for me to explain about child substitutes. 1.2174 0.06149 69 57 9 3
3947 What’s the matter? He’s just a dog. 1.2174 0.05002 69 54 15 0
3948 But you have long pants already! 1.2174 0.05792 69 56 11 2
3949 No, Johnnie, YOU are my favorite! 1.2174 0.06149 69 57 9 3
3950 Meet your new quarantine classmate. 1.2174 0.05411 69 55 13 1
3951 I know Zoom school is frustrating, Devin, but that's no way to talk to your teacher. 1.2174 0.06149 69 57 9 3
3952 But son, you know how the cat is about dressing up. 1.2174 0.05792 69 56 11 2
3953 Your step brother is man's best friend. 1.2174 0.05002 69 54 15 0
3954 I'm sorry Johnny, we have to let you go. But hey, look - the shelter has faster wifi 1.2174 0.05792 69 56 11 2
3955 C'mon. Be nice! 1.2174 0.05792 69 56 11 2
3956 C'mon son.....obedience school worked out great for Jake! Your turn! 1.2174 0.06149 69 57 9 3
3957 I know your upset, but just think about it as a case of misplaced sibling rivalry. 1.2174 0.05002 69 54 15 0
3958 Now, son, you know that I'm a dog dad first. 1.2174 0.05792 69 56 11 2
3959 Let's take the dog for a walk 1.2174 0.06149 69 57 9 3
3960 Healthy pups go for walks! Are you a healthy pup? 1.2174 0.05411 69 55 13 1
3961 Boarding School isn't that bad. It worked wonders for Percy. 1.2174 0.06149 69 57 9 3
3962 Don't worry: Just like Watson, when you get to be 10, you can pick your own outfit! 1.2174 0.05792 69 56 11 2
3963 If you can't be nice to Fauntleroy, you'll have to sleep in the dog house tonight and he will get to sleep in your bed. 1.2174 0.05792 69 56 11 2
3964 He's going to teach you to fetch my slippers and catch a frisbee in your mouth. 1.2174 0.05002 69 54 15 0
3965 Son, this bitch is your new little sister! 1.2174 0.06149 69 57 9 3
3966 I told you this is how he would wear pants. 1.2174 0.05002 69 54 15 0
3967 You're a big boy now. He's still a sweetie for baby talk. 1.2174 0.05411 69 55 13 1
3968 But you said you wanted to go casual like daddy." 1.2174 0.06149 69 57 9 3
3969 If you behave like Fritz, I'll give you a bone tonight. 1.2174 0.05792 69 56 11 2
3970 South paw! 1.2174 0.05411 69 55 13 1
3971 Don't worry - she uses the toilet. 1.2174 0.05411 69 55 13 1
3972 Don’t cry, Billy! When you learn how to button a jacket, you’ll get a suit, too! 1.2174 0.05792 69 56 11 2
3973 Timmy,it 1.2174 0.05792 69 56 11 2
3974 C’mon champ...it’s just a healthy competition for your inheritance as well as my affection! 1.2174 0.05411 69 55 13 1
3975 You'll love it, the exchange is only for three weeks. Plus, Rex says his place still has postmen! 1.2174 0.05411 69 55 13 1
3976 Trust me, buddy. He’ll be the best friend you ever have. 1.2174 0.05002 69 54 15 0
3977 Look, you can’t be mad. I’ve a lot more to explain to your mother than to you. 1.2174 0.05792 69 56 11 2
3978 First day of school. Be nice with your little brother” 1.2174 0.05411 69 55 13 1
3979 Sorry, but Sparky doesn’t unmute himself to bark like you do. 1.2174 0.05411 69 55 13 1
3980 Hey c’mon, be nice to your little brother. 1.2174 0.05411 69 55 13 1
3981 Just wait til we show your mother! You’re a goner buddy 1.2174 0.05792 69 56 11 2
3982 Let’s be honest I’ll be giving you away before Sir Barksalot III 1.2174 0.06486 69 58 7 4
3983 -"of course I am not playing favorites, although you have to admit he is always a good boy" @matemario._ qué tal ? 1.2174 0.05792 69 56 11 2
3984 I promise I won’t embarrass you when I drop you off at school. 1.2174 0.06149 69 57 9 3
3985 I love you both. And I love you both, JUST the same. 1.2174 0.05792 69 56 11 2
3986 Loyalty and obedience is all I ask for 1.2174 0.05411 69 55 13 1
3987 Now, where did you get the idea to smell every fire hydrant? 1.2162 0.05858 74 61 10 3
3988 Be a good boy, and I’ll let you sit on the sofa, just like Fauntleroy. 1.2162 0.05533 74 60 12 2
3989 He’s not even my real brother dad 1.2162 0.05188 74 59 14 1
3990 When you said you saw a 'hot dog' at the park,I thought it was food. 1.2162 0.05858 74 61 10 3
3991 Dad will get you a new ball, remember your new friend can smell your feelings. 1.2162 0.05188 74 59 14 1
3992 The school took him because his essay about canine detention camps was a cause for paws 1.2162 0.05858 74 61 10 3
3993 I know that his outfit is nicer than yours, but they were having a sale at Pups R Us. 1.2162 0.05188 74 59 14 1
3994 Hey, it can be your day tomorrow! 1.2162 0.05533 74 60 12 2
3995 Ironically, you're the one being a little bitch. 1.2162 0.05858 74 61 10 3
3996 I hear ya, son. But the important question is, who's a GOOD boy? 1.2162 0.05188 74 59 14 1
3997 Don’t worry, Joachim! You only have to wear a uniform for obedience school. 1.2162 0.05858 74 61 10 3
3998 If you give me your paw, you can be a good boy too. 1.2162 0.05188 74 59 14 1
3999 Well Donny you said you only wanted friends who would be loyal. 1.2162 0.05858 74 61 10 3
4000 If Bailey graduated #1 in his virtual manners class....why can't you pass virtual kindergarten? 1.2162 0.05533 74 60 12 2
4001 Maybe if you dressed for the job you wanted, I'd still think of you as my son. 1.2162 0.06166 74 62 8 4
4002 Don't you remember? We agreed he would be more adobtable if he looked more polished. 1.2162 0.05858 74 61 10 3
4003 Once we get the clothing issue straightened out you will be much happier. 1.2162 0.05858 74 61 10 3
4004 Timmy...it didn't fit you anymore and I HAD to cut that hole in the back! 1.2162 0.05858 74 61 10 3
4005 The fact that he's seven years older is only a technicality. 1.2162 0.04818 74 58 16 0
4006 He only can fetch. He can't play catch. 1.2162 0.05188 74 59 14 1
4007 Behave yourself or I'll dress you like Little Lord Dogelroy. 1.2162 0.05188 74 59 14 1
4008 Behave, Johnnie, or I’ll put YOU in the Little Lord Fauntleroy suit! 1.2162 0.05858 74 61 10 3
4009 You need to be a better sport. I promised Sparky the new suit if he’d learn to walk on his back legs and not chase his tail. 1.2162 0.05188 74 59 14 1
4010 Ruff may have gotten private school, Bobby, but you get the ball anytime you want! 1.2162 0.04622 74 60 13 1
4011 It’s ok. Don’t be scared. It’s 2021. 1.2162 0.06166 74 62 8 4
4012 Hey, second best friend ain't too shabby. 1.2162 0.05533 74 60 12 2
4013 Now we can get twice the trick-or-treats! 1.2162 0.05533 74 60 12 2
4014 This time try to not stare into his eyes while he sniffs your hand. 1.2162 0.04818 74 58 16 0
4015 If you’re good you can have a treat too 1.2162 0.05858 74 61 10 3
4016 Davie, Let me introduce your new furry friend in a suit! 1.2162 0.04818 74 58 16 0
4017 Stop telling people the dog is your brother! 1.2162 0.05858 74 61 10 3
4018 Even the dog is better behaved than you are." Bea Fernandez-Medina, State College, P 1.2162 0.05533 74 60 12 2
4019 But your brother has better clothes because obeys commands! 1.2162 0.05858 74 61 10 3
4020 Sure Sparky gets to go barefoot, but he also has to wear a Peter Pan collar. 1.2162 0.05533 74 60 12 2
4021 And that, son, is why you'll always be my second favorite. 1.2162 0.05188 74 59 14 1
4022 Why can’t I be the most famous dog on Instagram? 1.2162 0.05533 74 60 12 2
4023 Who's a little bitch? YOU'RE a little bitch! 1.2162 0.05858 74 61 10 3
4024 Be a good boy Jake and I'll give you a liver snap-- I mean, ginger snap. 1.2162 0.05188 74 59 14 1
4025 Come on, Tommy, shake hands and be friends. And promise me you'll never call your new stepmom a bitch again. 1.2162 0.05533 74 60 12 2
4026 Now c'mon, let's go get him some matching shoes. 1.2162 0.05188 74 59 14 1
4027 woof woof wooof bark, bark, woof 1.2162 0.06166 74 62 8 4
4028 But I love you just as much as I love him, son. 1.2162 0.06166 74 62 8 4
4029 I warned you, Donald! Tomorrow you're going to Obedience School with Woofy! 1.2162 0.05533 74 60 12 2
4030 I know you’re a good boy! Now give me your paw. 1.2162 0.05188 74 59 14 1
4031 It was either him or you, off you go! 1.2162 0.05533 74 60 12 2
4032 He's older than me in human years. So he's more like an adopted Uncle than a brother 1.2162 0.05533 74 60 12 2
4033 . Hey your brother wears his uniform And goes for a WALK! 1.2162 0.05858 74 61 10 3
4034 See how well behaved your brother is? You should try to be like him 1.2162 0.05188 74 59 14 1
4035 how many times do I have to tell you, you cannot bite your brother! 1.2162 0.05188 74 59 14 1
4036 Yes, but he’s the heir apparent. 1.2162 0.05533 74 60 12 2
4037 ´No you’re NOT going to break your foot if you play with him!’ 1.2162 0.05533 74 60 12 2
4038 It was then that Johnny realized who the good boy really is 1.2162 0.05188 74 59 14 1
4039 The dog is the man’s best friend. The child is the father of a man. 1.2162 0.05533 74 60 12 2
4040 I understand it was your turn to choose first from the dress up trunk. But look! You got the shoes! 1.2162 0.05533 74 60 12 2
4041 He’s my best friend—you never stood a chance. 1.2162 0.05858 74 61 10 3
4042 Well Timmy, if the court picked me for full custody maybe YOU would have received this bespoke outfit. But alas, to Benjie goes all the spoils. If you don't like your clothes maybe take it up with Deborah. That's right Timmy, I call her Deborah now, be glad I use THAT name. Anyways, let's go get Benjie an ice cream... 1.2162 0.05533 74 60 12 2
4043 Cheer up, Billy. One day he’ll be YOUR best friend. 1.2162 0.05533 74 60 12 2
4044 Why don't you wag your tail like your elder brother? 1.2162 0.05188 74 59 14 1
4045 Who's a good boy? Who's a good boy?! 1.2143 0.04940 70 55 15 0
4046 C'mon, we agreed - Equal treatment, equal treats. 1.2143 0.05342 70 56 13 1
4047 I promise - the first "Bring Your Brat to Work Day" - of course I'll take you. 1.2143 0.04940 70 55 15 0
4048 When you learn to put away your clothes and clean your room properly, like Rexxie does, you can have nice things, too. 1.2143 0.05717 70 57 11 2
4049 You can dress like a 19th century boy when you behave. 1.2143 0.04940 70 55 15 0
4050 He doesn't like that suit either ! 1.2143 0.04940 70 55 15 0
4051 Be the person your dog thinks you are 1.2143 0.05342 70 56 13 1
4052 You be nice or he’ll bite you 1.2143 0.05717 70 57 11 2
4053 Yes, he's named Junior, and he's inheriting the farm, but hey, we got you a bike! 1.2143 0.05717 70 57 11 2
4054 Can I help it if your mother was a beagle? 1.2143 0.05342 70 56 13 1
4055 "Oh of course, I"m sure he will fetch" 1.2143 0.04940 70 55 15 0
4056 Sorry Billy. He passed the Covid test and you didnorker.com 1.2143 0.05342 70 56 13 1
4057 Of course we love you both the same, but your sister has just earned more treats. 1.2143 0.05342 70 56 13 1
4058 See what happens when you refuse to get dressed for church? 1.2143 0.05717 70 57 11 2
4059 We just have to adjust to the successes of the animal rights advocates. 1.2143 0.05342 70 56 13 1
4060 See that's why Mummy likes the doggie 1.2143 0.05342 70 56 13 1
4061 You should be more like your brother. He’s such a good boy! 1.2143 0.05342 70 56 13 1
4062 We'll buy you a new costume next Halloween. 1.2143 0.04940 70 55 15 0
4063 No hard feelings, he just went to better schools. 1.2143 0.05342 70 55 13 1
4064 He's offered to explain to you why calling him 'good dog' is tautological. 1.2143 0.05342 70 56 13 1
4065 Make sure you play with your brother. There 1.2143 0.05342 70 56 13 1
4066 I love you equally, he just dresses better and comes when I call. 1.2143 0.05717 70 57 11 2
4067 He’s a purebred dog, son… 1.2143 0.05717 70 57 11 2
4068 There, there...you grew out of that suit. And besides...you wern,t invited to the party" 1.2143 0.04940 70 55 15 0
4069 Sorry, boy. We only have enough money for one private education and well....he does dress better than you. 1.2143 0.05342 70 56 13 1
4070 : "Clothes make the man Billy and let's be honest, Lord Sniffems is a good boy, ready for the world, and sadly you look like you're ready to eat paste!" 1.2143 0.06068 70 58 9 3
4071 Well, he is the adopted one. 1.2143 0.05342 70 56 13 1
4072 Quick I have it on self-timer! 1.2143 0.05717 70 57 11 2
4073 Don't worry son, I have the same suit for you too. 1.2143 0.04940 70 55 15 0
4074 Hey kid, can’t find your parents?! 1.2143 0.05342 70 56 13 1
4075 Why can't you be a good boy like him? 1.2143 0.05717 70 57 11 2
4076 Come on Timmy, one more for daddy's IG, One day I will tell you all about Norman Rockwell. 1.2143 0.06400 70 59 7 4
4077 Now Fido, be nice to your brother. 1.2143 0.04940 70 55 15 0
4078 We’re doing a little switcharoo this week so you’ll be sleeping in the dog house ok? 1.2143 0.04940 70 55 15 0
4079 Drop the attitude. I won’t stand for another distemper tantrum. 1.2143 0.05342 70 56 13 1
4080 Look on the bright side, at least he’s not a mouse 1.2143 0.05717 70 57 11 2
4081 Joey, meet your adopted brother. We are a diverse family now! 1.2121 0.05071 66 52 14 0
4082 All you need to do is to see him off at the bus stop! 1.2121 0.05919 66 54 10 2
4083 Next time do your own homework. 1.2121 0.05511 66 53 12 1
4084 No, you cant go in your pants just because Rex does. 1.2121 0.05511 66 53 12 1
4085 I'm sorry Donnie, but that's just the way it is. Rex is going to join the Westminster Kennel Club tonight and they don't want you. 1.2121 0.05511 66 53 12 1
4086 Can you shake your...oh, forgot 1.2121 0.06660 66 56 6 4
4087 Here’s a cookie for standing so quietly . 1.2121 0.05511 66 53 12 1
4088 We're not giving any credence to that nonsense about first-borns." 1.2121 0.05511 66 53 12 1
4089 Come on, it'll be funny! Just get down on your hands and knees and wear the collar I got you. 1.2121 0.05919 66 54 10 2
4090 C'mon, admit it. You liked pooping on the neighbors' lawn. 1.2121 0.06301 66 55 8 3
4091 Oh stop! You are both my baby 1.2121 0.05511 66 53 12 1
4092 He beat you fair and square, Johnny. Now be a good boy and sniff his butt. 1.2121 0.06301 66 55 8 3
4093 Just think -- if you dress better, YOU can be BEST OF SHOW...! 1.2121 0.05511 66 53 12 1
4094 Yes, your brother gets to pee outside but you get to sleep at the foot of the bed. 1.2121 0.06301 66 55 8 3
4095 I know you're upset Cody is wearing your favorite suit, but let's try to treat him like family. 1.2121 0.05919 66 54 10 2
4096 Yes it may seem unfair but me and Mom have decided to go with a slightly finer pedigree this time. 1.2121 0.05511 66 53 12 1
4097 Don't be jealous just because I anthropomorphized him. 1.2121 0.05511 66 53 12 1
4098 Cheer up. As roles in society evolve you too may come to be regarded as an integral member of the family. 1.2121 0.06301 66 55 8 3
4099 Now will my best friend wag his tail? 1.2121 0.05071 66 52 14 0
4100 When you sit when I ask you to, then you'll get an extra treat like Rosie. 1.2121 0.05511 66 53 12 1
4101 And you'll get your treat when you have been a very good boy. 1.2121 0.06660 66 56 6 4
4102 Yes, in this case it is true, but I still would prefer you do not call your half brother an SOB. 1.2121 0.06301 66 55 8 3
4103 Why does he get to celebrate this seven times a year? 1.2121 0.05071 66 52 14 0
4104 Unlike you, he came with a pedigree. 1.2121 0.05919 66 54 10 2
4105 ...but the doggie psychologist says that Ruffy is really Little Lord Fauntleroy inside! Pretty soon, after transitioning, you'll have a brother! How cool is that? 1.2121 0.05511 66 53 12 1
4106 We can't afford to give you a little brother so this will have to do. 1.2121 0.06301 66 55 8 3
4107 It's not fair that I have to wear shoes. 1.2121 0.05071 66 52 14 0
4108 You'll wear a uniform too, when you go to boarding school! 1.2121 0.05511 66 53 12 1
4109 ...and with a visit from the Blue Fairy, even YOU can be a real good boy like your brother! Now it's your turn to go fetch daddy's pain meds. 1.2121 0.05071 66 52 14 0
4110 Well...Maybe if I had enrolled you in obedience class we wouldn’t keep having these conversations 1.2121 0.06301 66 55 8 3
4111 We can’t go home until you’ve done your business like your brother 1.2121 0.05511 66 53 12 1
4112 Are you sure you don’t want to bring Buddy in for Show and Tell? I dressed him up just for you! 1.2121 0.05511 66 53 12 1
4113 You're a good boy too, Billy! 1.2115 0.05719 52 41 11 0
4114 C'mon now: You know we love our furless baby just as much! 1.2113 0.05275 71 57 13 1
4115 Hey, relax, you're both my best friends! 1.2113 0.05275 71 57 13 1
4116 Don’t worry. Great is great! 1.2113 0.05275 71 57 13 1
4117 Look Billy, I'm sorry there is no money left for dinner, but I thought the outfit would look cute on him. 1.2113 0.05990 71 59 9 3
4118 If you learn to bark, then I'll buy you a suit. 1.2113 0.05990 71 59 9 3
4119 If you can't play nice with your doggy we will take him away !Say you're sorry! or go to your room 1.2113 0.05990 71 59 9 3
4120 animal lifes matter 1.2113 0.04879 71 56 15 0
4121 I’m sorry Rufus, but you can’t bring home every single stick you find. 1.2113 0.05275 71 57 13 1
4122 but when I GO outside, it’s a problem 1.2113 0.05275 71 57 13 1
4123 Wide open spaces, a lax attitude to discipline... you’ll love living on the farm. 1.2105 0.05717 76 63 10 3
4124 Son, it's good to see you back from disobedience school. What did you unlearn today? 1.2105 0.04708 76 60 16 0
4125 Who’s a good boy? You are! You are! 1.2105 0.05995 57 46 10 1
4126 Now say you're sorry and give him a scratch on the head. 1.2105 0.05402 76 62 12 2
4127 It's OK, Mommy needs a project. 1.2105 0.05995 57 46 10 1
4128 Finn’s Instagram really needs you to show your a happy boy today. 1.2105 0.06016 76 64 8 4
4129 This is Spot. He'll be wetting your bed for you while you're away at summer camp. 1.2090 0.05839 67 55 10 2
4130 It's not time for a tantrum, Bobby, your brother has piano lessons before his play date at the Jones'. We'll go to the park to play after his agility class this afternoon. 1.2090 0.05438 67 54 12 1
4131 Hey, wanna take the lead? 1.2090 0.05438 67 54 12 1
4132 Be a good boy like Spot! 1.2090 0.05839 67 55 10 2
4133 My best little friend, yeah, but you're still my best little guy! 1.2090 0.05438 67 54 12 1
4134 When we put Sparky in this suit, HE stopped licking his balls. Maybe it will work for you, too! 1.2090 0.06214 67 56 8 3
4135 Get used to it, Timmy. It's a dog's life. 1.2090 0.05839 67 55 10 2
4136 When are you going to throw me a bone? 1.2090 0.06214 67 56 8 3
4137 Timmy, TikTok wants to see us do The Wave. 1.2090 0.05438 67 54 12 1
4138 I’m sorry, Johnny, but there was only one slot left at Horace Mann. 1.2090 0.05839 67 55 10 2
4139 Come on, be a sport son. We just need your clothes for a family picture. 1.2090 0.05004 67 53 14 0
4140 Due to COVID, we have all had to make changes. Now Doggie Day Care is for everyone. Be a good boy, take Fido’s paw, and get in there. 1.2090 0.05438 67 54 12 1
4141 Remember when your mom said my new partner is a real bitch? 1.2090 0.05839 67 55 10 2
4142 If you want new clothes you have to stop the howling 1.2090 0.05438 67 54 12 1
4143 Now Bobby, you know Rocky's rawhide chew wasn't any bigger than yours. 1.2090 0.05438 67 54 12 1
4144 See Spot distance learn. 1.2090 0.06214 67 56 8 3
4145 We're in the Covid Stone Age, son - my suit's too small for me too! 1.2090 0.05839 67 55 10 2
4146 Daniel, this is your new little brother, Marley! Can you please show him your room? 1.2090 0.05438 67 54 12 1
4147 On one hand, an obedience school graduate. On the other hand, an obedience school drop out. 1.2090 0.05004 67 53 14 0
4148 How about you Bobby? What did you learn in obedience school today? 1.2090 0.05438 67 54 12 1
4149 When you wear a suit, you get a treat. 1.2090 0.05438 67 54 12 1
4150 Now, Mom says you need to match so our New Years card makes sense this time... 1.2090 0.06214 67 56 8 3
4151 Rusty, Poochie has already apologized for peeing in your bed. Now, it's your turn for peeing in his. 1.2090 0.05438 67 54 12 1
4152 Please, Timmy! I need you and your brother to help me find my glasses right now! 1.2090 0.06214 67 56 8 3
4153 Cheer up, his bow will wow you! 1.2090 0.06214 67 56 8 3
4154 You said with the lockdown you had no friends to play with...meet your new friend. 1.2090 0.05004 67 53 14 0
4155 Son, I want you to know that Loki worked really hard for this promotion. 1.2090 0.05438 67 54 12 1
4156 Don't worry, you get to pee first, Johnny! 1.2090 0.05438 67 54 12 1
4157 Parenting in the 21st Century: Now, Bobby, I already told you I don’t have favorites. I love you and your brother equally! 1.2090 0.05839 67 55 10 2
4158 Dude, what makes you think I love Sonny Boy more than you? 1.2090 0.05438 67 54 12 1
4159 It’s all right. His mother really is a bitch. 1.2090 0.05839 67 55 10 2
4160 Dog gone-it! You're not my best friend, you're just my kid. 1.2090 0.05004 67 53 14 0
4161 If you would only behave, you could grow up to be the dog I’ve always wanted you to be. 1.2090 0.05438 67 54 12 1
4162 I'm sorry Billy but it's back to the shelter for you. For the next family that brings you home try to dress better. 1.2090 0.05004 67 53 14 0
4163 Even you two were born in the same year, you are 7 and he is 14. Get used to it. 1.2090 0.05438 67 54 12 1
4164 Now, now, he's just a dog. 1.2090 0.06214 67 56 8 3
4165 You can be President the next time. 1.2090 0.05438 67 54 12 1
4166 Sorry Gary—prep schools don't offer angst-based scholarships. 1.2090 0.05438 67 54 12 1
4167 Good news, Jimmy, there's a spot for you in Miss Lily's Obedience School. 1.2090 0.05004 67 53 14 0
4168 Look how stupid it looks. 1.2090 0.05438 67 54 12 1
4169 You need to apologise to your brother right now young man 1.2090 0.06214 67 56 8 3
4170 Another day, another hot potato! 1.2090 0.05839 67 55 10 2
4171 You will get a suit when you are 21 years old too. 1.2090 0.05839 67 55 10 2
4172 If you’d been this easy to train things may have turned out differently. 1.2090 0.05839 67 55 10 2
4173 Ready for the housebreaking masterclass? 1.2090 0.05839 67 55 10 2
4174 I know you wanted a brother, but in this economy this is a far more rationable option 1.2090 0.05004 67 53 14 0
4175 I'd say you'll get his hand-me-downs, but this is as big as he'll get. 1.2090 0.05004 67 53 14 0
4176 Father- " Your turn is next Christmas, cheer up" Son(talking to himself)- "I don't need clothes dad, I'm just not sure you love me this Christmas" 1.2090 0.05839 67 55 10 2
4177 It's okay son forget it, ok be a good boy and give him a high paw" 1.2090 0.05438 67 54 12 1
4178 I know you’re jealous of your brother’s new outfit. you can get one too if you finish all your kibble like a good boy 1.2090 0.05839 67 55 10 2
4179 I told ya... first one who shits on the floor has to go. Sadly sphincter your control was less than his. Hit the bricks Timmy 1.2090 0.05839 67 55 10 2
4180 Sometimes i forget who's the adopted. 1.2090 0.06214 67 56 8 3
4181 He'll be attending all of our in-person events until you decide to wear a mask 1.2090 0.05839 67 55 10 2
4182 He gets to finish 1st grade online, but you have to go back to the classroom this January. Lucky you! 1.2090 0.05004 67 53 14 0
4183 He only gets to dress up for his graduation from obedience school. 1.2083 0.05210 72 58 13 1
4184 Understand - he's going to school when you're not. 1.2083 0.05573 72 59 11 2
4185 You still have a chance, Cooper forgot his lint roller 1.2059 0.06130 68 57 8 3
4186 It'll suit you too. 1.2059 0.05366 68 55 12 1
4187 I'm sorry, Jimmy. I'd take you along, too. But Max is house-broken and . . . well, you're not. 1.2059 0.04940 68 54 14 0
4188 Well, maybe if you listened better and obeyed, we'd send you private school, too. 1.2059 0.05760 68 56 10 2
4189 Let's make a deal. If you don't pee on any tires this afternoon, I'll open up that special can of dog food I've been saving just for you. 1.2059 0.05366 68 55 12 1
4190 Sorry Billy, but when you adopt one out you have to replace it with another one. So in ya go buddy. 1.2059 0.05760 68 56 10 2
4191 Little Jimmy was upset he had so quickly grown out of his Alexander McQueen morning wear, and had to go back to wearing Bugle. 1.2059 0.06130 68 57 8 3
4192 First up, best dressed 1.2059 0.05760 68 56 10 2
4193 Why can't you get along, Son? I thought you adopted kids would have loads to share about how lonely you used to be. 1.2059 0.05760 68 56 10 2
4194 When you grow up a bit, you'll be allowed to wear buttons too. 1.2055 0.04762 73 58 15 0
4195 Play nice. He's your new brother. 1.2055 0.05146 73 59 13 1
4196 I’m sorry Luca, i don’t care what your biology teacher told you, the song says that’s what little boys are made of... 1.2055 0.05839 73 61 9 3
4197 Dogs are better behaved than children these days. 1.2031 0.05968 64 53 9 2
4198 Sorry, Timmy, but you're being replaced by this smartly-dressed chihuahua. 1.2031 0.06370 64 54 7 3
4199 Back upstairs Tucker, you should be wearing your best clothes like Bib here. 1.2031 0.05537 64 52 11 1
4200 Don't worry son, you're mom and I will be sending you to the best kennel in town. 1.2031 0.06370 64 54 7 3
4201 Don't be angry. Just because he gets to poop on the sidewalk doesn't mean I love him more. 1.2031 0.05069 64 51 13 0
4202 Don't be upset. Your mom has a collar for you. 1.2031 0.05069 64 51 13 0
4203 Only come for a walk if you want to 1.2031 0.05968 64 53 9 2
4204 Because. He doesn't consider learning from your mistakes, then changing and correcting behavior being a 'loser'." 1.2031 0.06370 64 54 7 3
4205 He’s not my best friend. He’s just a nice, well behaved companion. 1.2031 0.05537 64 52 11 1
4206 Meet your obedient replacement 1.2031 0.05968 64 53 9 2
4207 You've outgrown it, so we gave it to our better behaved member of the family. 1.2031 0.05968 64 53 9 2
4208 I know she’s not your real mom, but give her a chance. 1.2031 0.05968 64 53 9 2
4209 It’s not that I don’t love you, it’s that I love him more. 1.2031 0.06370 64 54 7 3
4210 Don’t be mad. Just because little Lord Fauntleroy is rich doesn’t mean he is my best friend. 1.2031 0.05537 64 52 11 1
4211 You could have gone to dog-business school too if you were more like your brother. 1.2031 0.05968 64 53 9 2
4212 Cheer up, son. Barkley said you could borrow his cone afterwards. 1.2031 0.06370 64 54 7 3
4213 Don't be like that. It's not over. You could still be my favorite. 1.2031 0.05537 64 52 11 1
4214 Just remember, Jimmy, he's had 7 times as much experience as you. 1.2031 0.05069 64 51 13 0
4215 It is too fair. Just wait until you learn to fetch. 1.2031 0.05537 64 52 11 1
4216 I'll explain again Dave, the reason you can't gave 7 birthdays a year like Spot, is because you're a human. 1.2031 0.05537 64 52 11 1
4217 Even Fido knows it’s safer to cross the street if we hold hands 1.2031 0.05069 64 51 13 0
4218 I know you wanted to go on the big slide too, but you have to remember that in dog years Skippy is 42. 1.2031 0.06370 64 54 7 3
4219 You are going to enjoy obedience school so much. Look at how well they taught your brother Rover 1.2031 0.05537 64 52 11 1
4220 If you really wanted a treat, you'd have grown floppy ears and a waggedy tail like your brother. And Timmy, you're the one who was adopted. 1.2031 0.05537 64 52 11 1
4221 I promise I won't say 'good boy' again. 1.2031 0.05537 64 52 11 1
4222 Come on now, Billy. You're going to like staying home all day and eating Alpo. 1.2031 0.05537 64 52 11 1
4223 Come on, Billy. I know his mom, and she's a really sweet person. 1.2031 0.05537 64 52 11 1
4224 Ever since your brother used his wish to become a dog wearing Angus Young's stage suit, you've become unhappy. And apparently the happy meal you wished for isn't going to last as long either. 1.2031 0.05537 64 52 11 1
4225 Sorry, Billy, but dog shows are only for dogs. 1.2031 0.05537 64 52 11 1
4226 I know I've called you a 'good boy' up until this point but that was before the dog learned to dress himself. 1.2031 0.05968 64 53 9 2
4227 If your brother can get past the poll workers, so can you! 1.2031 0.05537 64 52 11 1
4228 At least you don't see him wearing your blue suede shoes, do ya? 1.2031 0.06370 64 54 7 3
4229 Don't worry, you're still heir to my throne. 1.2031 0.05537 64 52 11 1
4230 Well, the Brooks Brothers Outlet only had it in his size! 1.2031 0.05537 64 52 11 1
4231 Be a good boy, we'll play later. Little Lord Flaunt-Leroy's Instagram account is influencing you right into private school. 1.2031 0.06748 64 55 5 4
4232 You want a new suit,too? Well,you have to be a good boy.... 1.2031 0.06370 64 54 7 3
4233 Hey Donald, even the dog behaves better than you 1.2031 0.05968 64 53 9 2
4234 There, there Donald you mustn’t fuss. Fido was clearly best in show; no recounts! 1.2031 0.05537 64 52 11 1
4235 Don’t worry Donald. Keep having tantrums like this and you will make it hard to be President one day 1.2031 0.05537 64 52 11 1
4236 Jimmy, you have to control your emotions like an animal. 1.2031 0.05968 64 53 9 2
4237 Now, Billy, don’t be upset. You know I love you and your brother equally. 1.2031 0.05968 64 53 9 2
4238 Listen, I was very happy with him but you were your mother's idea 1.2031 0.05968 64 53 9 2
4239 I’m sure there will be a family that will adopt you and you’ll make some friends at the pound. 1.2031 0.06370 64 54 7 3
4240 Meet your new virtual learning tutor, Mr. Barksly 1.2031 0.05069 64 51 13 0
4241 Sorry - no tail, no tailored suit. 1.2031 0.05537 64 52 11 1
4242 I'm sorry you had to watch your sister eat ice cream while you didn't get any. Maybe the next time I take you two to obedience school, you could try being obedient. 1.2029 0.05684 69 57 10 2
4243 This is so Orwellian 1.2029 0.05684 69 57 10 2
4244 You got shotgun last time. 1.2029 0.05684 69 57 10 2
4245 You'll get to go to the dog and pony show next time. 1.2000 0.05000 65 52 13 0
4246 How come I have to wear shoes and he doesn't! 1.2000 0.05000 65 52 13 0
4247 It's not about who poops, it's how you pick it up. 1.2000 0.05460 65 53 11 1
4248 Good boy! 1.2000 0.05228 70 57 12 1
4249 He'll change into his plainclothes in just a moment 1.2000 0.05460 65 53 11 1
4250 I love him more because he is such a "good boy"! 1.2000 0.05000 65 52 13 0
4251 I know you said "'Tuxedo,' but with the lock down Mom has plenty of time to add satin details. 1.2000 0.06030 55 45 9 1
4252 I told you 'Every dog has his day' and this is his. 1.2000 0.05883 65 54 9 2
4253 You did say you wanted a sibling. 1.2000 0.05000 65 52 13 0
4254 Mom knew that you liked our last dog Sarah a little too much. 1.2000 0.05883 65 54 9 2
4255 Be glad you dont have to wear your sisters hand me downs! 1.2000 0.05460 65 53 11 1
4256 Why can't you be more like the dog? 1.2000 0.04815 70 56 14 0
4257 I love you both equally, but... 1.2000 0.05610 70 58 10 2
4258 Oh this one, he isn't aggressive, just cantankerous, feral and straight out of quarantine 1.1970 0.05385 66 54 11 1
4259 You can use the fire hydrant on the way back, okay Scruffy? 1.1967 0.05639 61 50 10 1
4260 It's just like the car commercials Billy. We need to have a fancy dog to tell people we are of high quality. 1.1967 0.05639 61 50 10 1
4261 It's his turn. You both get bones. 1.1967 0.05639 61 50 10 1
4262 Not to worry! Your still out favorite! 1.1967 0.05132 61 49 12 0
4263 Well, we can cross COVID and rabies off both your lists. 1.1967 0.05639 61 50 10 1
4264 Don't give up, Stevie. I got you a house-training tutor! 1.1967 0.05639 61 50 10 1
4265 Being 2nd favorite isn't all that bad 1.1967 0.06105 61 51 8 2
4266 You're both my favorites - he's just faster at fetching than you are. 1.1967 0.06105 61 51 8 2
4267 It’s ok, son. Father Rex here is new to our Parish, and he just wants to hump your leg. 1.1967 0.06537 61 52 6 3
4268 Coco gets nice clothes because he's such a good boy. 1.1967 0.05639 61 50 10 1
4269 If you don't want to walk the dog, then he'll just have to walk you. 1.1967 0.05639 61 50 10 1
4270 Well, you're my next best friend. 1.1967 0.04259 61 50 11 0
4271 Just be glad Mom doesn’t dress you like Auntie dresses your cousin. 1.1967 0.05132 61 49 12 0
4272 Tommy felt 2nd best after the adoption. 1.1967 0.06105 61 51 8 2
4273 I do so, like you - how can you say that!? 1.1967 0.05639 61 50 10 1
4274 Just because you do not have a tail it does not mean that we don't love you 1.1967 0.05132 61 49 12 0
4275 Stay out here because this park is only for dogs. 1.1967 0.05132 61 49 12 0
4276 No worries. He's just in training. 1.1967 0.05639 61 50 10 1
4277 That’s it, “paw.” Good boy. 1.1967 0.05639 61 50 10 1
4278 but he's a lot older than you! 1.1967 0.06537 61 52 6 3
4279 YOU HAVE BEEN REPLACED :) 1.1967 0.06537 61 52 6 3
4280 I don’t care what urban dictionary says, you can’t call your sister that 1.1967 0.06537 61 52 6 3
4281 You wanted a little brother, and Sebastian wanted to be a real boy. 1.1967 0.05132 61 49 12 0
4282 You can not punch your brother because I said so.! 1.1967 0.05639 61 50 10 1
4283 Well you know those are seven years old in dog years, don't you? 1.1967 0.06105 61 51 8 2
4284 No, Johnny. You cannot go to doggy daycare with Fluffy today. 1.1967 0.05639 61 50 10 1
4285 Sit! Come on, boy, sit! 1.1967 0.06105 61 51 8 2
4286 I know that kids may make fun of a smartly dressed child; however, if they do, just do like Buster here, and use your canines to tear them a new one! 1.1967 0.05132 61 49 12 0
4287 See, this is how you heal. 1.1967 0.06105 61 51 8 2
4288 You are going back to obedience school if you don't start acting more like your brother. 1.1967 0.05132 61 49 12 0
4289 But Billy, you’re on track to being a Good Man. 1.1967 0.05639 61 50 10 1
4290 I thought you wanted a younger brother! OK, you can stay in public school, and Fritz can go to private school since he past the entry exams 100% . . . Then you can play together after school! 1.1967 0.05132 61 49 12 0
4291 Millennial Parenting: " So Cat's got your tongue? Say hello to your new therapist Dr. Spot 1.1967 0.05639 61 50 10 1
4292 I promise you Brad, if you learn how to urinate on the fire hydrant instead of in your bed, like Alfie does, you can wear the suit from now on. 1.1967 0.05639 61 50 10 1
4293 But I tell you too good boy all the time 1.1967 0.06105 61 51 8 2
4294 OK Son,Next Week You Can wear the Suit. 1.1967 0.05639 61 50 10 1
4295 Come on jack, be nice like your brother Fido. 1.1967 0.06105 61 51 8 2
4296 Ah, so you're the one who took Ruff Ruff 's shoes! 1.1967 0.05132 61 49 12 0
4297 No, Donald, Barney didn't cheat. He just got more votes than you. 1.1967 0.05639 61 50 10 1
4298 We're going to be late for school, Nigel. We discussed this. Daddy's back at the office and Mr. Snuffles has come to expect a certain level of attention throughout the day. 1.1967 0.06105 61 51 8 2
4299 We love you equally, you both have your own talents! 1.1967 0.05639 61 50 10 1
4300 No, you cant smell people buts as your brother... 1.1967 0.06537 61 52 6 3
4301 I never wanted children 1.1967 0.05639 61 50 10 1
4302 It's only fair Steve got more beans. He was able to figure out the can opener faster than you. 1.1967 0.05132 61 49 12 0
4303 C’mon JR-59, play nice with your brother. 1.1967 0.06105 61 51 8 2
4304 Look, blame the lottery not the messenger. It isn't MY fault your brother got into the better middle school 1.1967 0.05639 61 50 10 1
4305 And that’s why dogs are superior to humans. 1.1967 0.05132 61 49 12 0
4306 Cheer up, it's kibble time." 1.1944 0.05096 72 59 12 1
4307 Try chic fashion. Then maybe you can be my best friend. 1.1940 0.05722 67 56 9 2
4308 Yes your sister is a bitch but she can't help it 1.1940 0.06104 67 57 7 3
4309 Hey, buddy! Your sister is NOT a 'bitch.' 1.1935 0.06438 62 53 6 3
4310 Why wouldn’t you love obedience school? Fido did. 1.1935 0.05557 62 51 10 1
4311 He’s in our pod now, son. 1.1935 0.05557 62 51 10 1
4312 Doug, Dog. Dog, Doug. (Introductions didn’t go well.) 1.1935 0.06014 62 52 8 2
4313 It’s okay, we get to wear playground clothes to have more fun. He has to wear a houndstooth suit. 1.1935 0.06014 62 52 8 2
4314 Cheer up, I've found a way to compete with his step count! 1.1935 0.05058 62 50 12 0
4315 'It's all right, Mum's going to sew up the tail hole later'. 1.1935 0.05557 62 51 10 1
4316 Cheer up! It’s your turn to fetch. 1.1935 0.06014 62 52 8 2
4317 I don’t love Riley better but a dog in a suit will get more likes! 1.1935 0.06438 62 53 6 3
4318 Now, don't be jealous. I love you and Joseph the same! 1.1935 0.06438 62 53 6 3
4319 Now Billy, I don't think Sparky was "playing" dead. 1.1935 0.05557 62 51 10 1
4320 Who knew the full-size dolls would be so lifelike? 1.1935 0.05557 62 51 10 1
4321 Just what you asked for - a Classic Wiener! 1.1935 0.06014 62 52 8 2
4322 Don't be sad, Fido, You're still my favorite! 1.1935 0.06014 62 52 8 2
4323 Dick...would you like to SEE SPOT RUN...the numbers? 1.1935 0.06014 62 52 8 2
4324 stop being stubborn, look how well behaved your brother is ! 1.1935 0.06438 62 53 6 3
4325 My little poochy boy wants a little poochy suit? 1.1935 0.05557 62 51 10 1
4326 Sorry boy, he’s so easy to understand! 1.1935 0.06014 62 52 8 2
4327 Sharing is caring 1.1935 0.05557 62 51 10 1
4328 It is high time you learned how to fetch 1.1935 0.05557 62 51 10 1
4329 Relax. HE’S the one who gets hand-me-downs. 1.1930 0.05274 57 46 11 0
4330 Actually, Logan, he prefers to be addressed as “The Right Honourable Snuffy.” 1.1930 0.05274 57 46 11 0
4331 You can be leader of the pack tomorrow, Tommy. 1.1930 0.05274 57 46 11 0
4332 Don’t worry... Every boy has his day, too. 1.1930 0.05274 57 46 11 0
4333 Well its been a long quarantine for Rocky too. 1.1930 0.06352 57 48 7 2
4334 Now apologize to your brother! 1.1930 0.06352 57 48 7 2
4335 Who says you can't pick your family? 1.1930 0.05838 57 47 9 1
4336 Matt, I told you before, he's not my favorite! I love you both equally. 1.1930 0.05838 57 47 9 1
4337 I believe you'll learn a lot from Marvin. 1.1930 0.05838 57 47 9 1
4338 Yes but you were annoying first. 1.1930 0.05274 57 46 11 0
4339 Billy, at least you're a deduction. 1.1930 0.06352 57 48 7 2
4340 Sure he’s my best friend, but I love you like a son. 1.1930 0.05838 57 47 9 1
4341 Bobby, can’t you be a little more like Max? 1.1930 0.05838 57 47 9 1
4342 He is my best friend and he loves me unconditionally. 1.1930 0.05838 57 47 9 1
4343 C'mon we're going for a walk. 1.1923 0.06748 52 44 6 2
4344 Yes, after your sister is born, it's not going to be just the three of us 1.1923 0.06164 52 43 8 1
4345 your brother shares his toys with you, doesn't he? 1.1923 0.06748 52 44 6 2
4346 I hate when my mom's a bitch. 1.1905 0.06343 63 54 6 3
4347 You get nice clothes when house trained 1.1905 0.05476 63 52 10 1
4348 I don't want to take him to show and tell day, dad! 1.1905 0.05925 63 53 8 2
4349 What did I tell you about dog-whistling,Donny? 1.1905 0.04987 63 51 12 0
4350 FedEx is delivering a suit like his this week. 1.1905 0.05476 63 52 10 1
4351 He's not actually taller than you. 1.1905 0.05476 63 52 10 1
4352 It sucks that my dad is such a huge pervert with our dog. 1.1905 0.05925 63 53 8 2
4353 C’mon Jimmy. Be nice to your little brother. 1.1905 0.04987 63 51 12 0
4354 No ball, no suit. 1.1905 0.06343 63 54 6 3
4355 Don't be upset. Obedience school was in person this year. 1.1905 0.05925 63 53 8 2
4356 The dog turned out better than the kid. 1.1905 0.05476 63 52 10 1
4357 It's not true David. Pandemic puppy is not our favorite son. 1.1905 0.06343 63 54 6 3
4358 He wants to teach you how to shake paws. 1.1905 0.05925 63 53 8 2
4359 No, you can’t use a fire hydrant to do your business. 1.1905 0.05476 63 52 10 1
4360 Think of it as being a “Free Agent”. 1.1905 0.06343 63 54 6 3
4361 So you think you can waltz? 1.1905 0.04987 63 51 12 0
4362 I didn't say YOU'RE not a good boy! 1.1905 0.05476 63 52 10 1
4363 When his shoes arrive, you can play kick ball. 1.1905 0.04987 63 51 12 0
4364 Can you heel like a good boy? 1.1905 0.05476 63 52 10 1
4365 the regular cartoon guy is off for the holidays 1.1905 0.05476 63 52 10 1
4366 Ok, Billy, it’s your turn ... heel, boy! 1.1905 0.05925 63 53 8 2
4367 I thought you said you didn’t want a suit? 1.1905 0.04987 63 51 12 0
4368 To be fair, it was YOU who asked to take the dog for a walk. 1.1905 0.05476 63 52 10 1
4369 Could he really be related to me? He's so shabbily dressed. 1.1905 0.05476 63 52 10 1
4370 C'mon Spot. Play nice with your brother. 1.1905 0.05476 63 52 10 1
4371 Son-- this is Mary Puppins 1.1905 0.05925 63 53 8 2
4372 I asked if you wanted anything from the store and you said no. 1.1905 0.05476 63 52 10 1
4373 See dogs can listen to simple commands, why can't you? 1.1905 0.05476 63 52 10 1
4374 “You don’t think walking the dog TODAY will be better than screen time?” 1.1905 0.05925 63 52 8 2
4375 But, she doesn't have dukes to put up. 1.1905 0.05476 63 52 10 1
4376 When we get to the tree, remember, lift one leg first. Ok buddy? Good boy! 1.1905 0.05925 63 53 8 2
4377 Hey son doggo never a competition to kiddo, really. 1.1905 0.05476 63 52 10 1
4378 I thought we were giving my old stuff to Goodwill 1.1905 0.05925 63 53 8 2
4379 Yes, for the last time, Rusty wore it better. 1.1905 0.04987 63 51 12 0
4380 Goofus doesn't like creepy anthropomorphic dogs. 1.1892 0.04971 74 61 12 1
4381 And Rover will show you how to poop on our walk. 1.1875 0.05398 64 53 10 1
4382 see he can walk on two legs too 1.1875 0.06250 64 55 6 3
4383 Come on son,you said you wanted a sibling. 1.1875 0.05398 64 53 10 1
4384 So what if he can walk! You’re still my best friend. 1.1875 0.05398 64 53 10 1
4385 Fetch? Honey, this dog will churn butter for you! 1.1875 0.05398 64 53 10 1
4386 He'll be YOUR best friend when you're all grown up, son. 1.1875 0.05398 64 53 10 1
4387 ' Rocky' was ok, but you'll get used to 'Little Lord Fauntleroy' 1.1875 0.05398 64 53 10 1
4388 Timmy, your my second best friend 1.1875 0.05840 64 54 8 2
4389 You know this is your best friend. 1.1875 0.04917 64 52 12 0
4390 Hey, 'best friend' is just a joke because dogs don't whine or cry or scrunch up their faces." 1.1864 0.06151 59 50 7 2
4391 There there now - better grades doesn't mean we love Bungie any more than you! 1.1864 0.06151 59 50 7 2
4392 you can pretend to be Charlie Brown and he'll be Snoopy 1.1864 0.05114 59 48 11 0
4393 Don't be mad.Its because he was allowed to go to school and you weren't 1.1864 0.06151 59 50 7 2
4394 Your numbers just aren't cutting it, kiddo! Wait right here while we snap a few photos... 1.1864 0.06151 59 50 7 2
4395 I've adopted a rich dog, so off to the pound you go! 1.1864 0.06151 59 50 7 2
4396 We’d have picked you if you were better dressed. Maybe you’ll have better luck at the shelter next time. 1.1864 0.06151 59 50 7 2
4397 Don't be angry Bobby, you can pee on the next fire hydrant. 1.1864 0.06609 59 51 5 3
4398 Relax.We're not buying him shoes. 1.1864 0.05114 59 48 11 0
4399 I don't want you to think I love you any less, it's just that I've known him longer. 1.1864 0.05657 59 49 9 1
4400 Now, now Son. We had to make Buddy look super studious. You see, on ZOOM, everyone knows he's a dog. 1.1864 0.05657 59 49 9 1
4401 But he's teacher's pet for a good reason! 1.1864 0.05114 59 48 11 0
4402 Buddy go get the stick. Your so close to graduating obedience school like Rover. 1.1864 0.05114 59 48 11 0
4403 Daddy's going to let go and you and Jinks can see who is the best little boy. 1.1864 0.05657 59 49 9 1
4404 He got more presents for Christmas because he was a good boy. 1.1864 0.06151 59 50 7 2
4405 I said, I wanted a PS5. 1.1864 0.05657 59 49 9 1
4406 You get to wear big boy clothes when you learn to roll over, sit, and stay when I tell you. 1.1864 0.05657 59 49 9 1
4407 You are just a tattle “tail” 1.1864 0.06151 59 50 7 2
4408 He is English. All their little boys wear shorts. You will get them back. 1.1864 0.05114 59 48 11 0
4409 No, Billy, this isn’t technically gaslighting. You’re just mad that he’s got a better fit than you. 1.1864 0.05114 59 48 11 0
4410 Rover looks foolish all dressed up and so would I. No thanks! 1.1864 0.05657 59 49 9 1
4411 He goes to boarding school,which is where your going to go if you don’t keep your room clean. 1.1864 0.05114 59 48 11 0
4412 It's time you learned one has to dress for success. 1.1864 0.05114 59 48 11 0
4413 Here's the deal... You dress as dapper as buddy then i will take you outside. 1.1864 0.06151 59 50 7 2
4414 Come on kid. If you win the race, I will get you a new pair of sneakers! Any sneakers you want! 1.1864 0.05114 59 48 11 0
4415 Be nice, Fido - Donald's your little brother from another bitch. 1.1864 0.06151 59 50 7 2
4416 Come on—I didn’t really say that you can be replaced if you don’t eat your broccoli. 1.1864 0.05657 59 49 9 1
4417 But you don’t need a school uniform. Honestly, Jib’s school is really too strict. 1.1864 0.05657 59 49 9 1
4418 He just wears it like he owns it, unlike you who wears it like a schmuck 1.1864 0.06151 59 50 7 2
4419 My doggie became my best friend when I was your age. 1.1864 0.06151 59 50 7 2
4420 He’s the only one that has learned to fetch a ball when I throw it. 1.1864 0.05657 59 49 9 1
4421 Son, use your words. 1.1864 0.05114 59 48 11 0
4422 Now, now, no discrimination kiddo. 1.1864 0.05114 59 48 11 0
4423 I'm not saying I love you equally but... 1.1864 0.05114 59 48 11 0
4424 Johnny, when you finish obedience school, you’ll get a new suit as well. 1.1864 0.05114 59 48 11 0
4425 Oh, come on. Rex might be a good boy, but you'll always be my son. 1.1864 0.05114 59 48 11 0
4426 I’m sorry but I love my puppy-wuppy baby more because he never talks back; besides, I had him first. 1.1864 0.05657 59 49 9 1
4427 Ball.. bone. What does it matter? 1.1864 0.06609 59 51 5 3
4428 Timmy, can you say "super duper pooper scooper"? 1.1864 0.05657 59 49 9 1
4429 Where's my treat? 1.1864 0.06151 59 50 7 2
4430 Don't feel bad, if you were wearing the suit your bum would be showing. 1.1864 0.05114 59 48 11 0
4431 Just because he’s my best friend doesn’t mean he can’t play with you too! 1.1864 0.05114 59 48 11 0
4432 You know the saying, "A rat is a pig is a dog is a boy" - just be glad your brother's a dog and not that cute little rat we almost adopted instead 1.1864 0.06609 59 51 5 3
4433 Fauntleroy isn't afraid of his friends laughing, I don't know why you are. 1.1864 0.05114 59 48 11 0
4434 If you don't start behaving like Rover, I'm getting out your toddler leash. 1.1864 0.05657 59 49 9 1
4435 ruff, ruff, ruff” and that’s final 1.1864 0.06609 59 51 5 3
4436 Billy, I know Fido poops on the lawn but that does not mean that you should do so. 1.1864 0.05114 59 48 11 0
4437 I promise, I'll stop comparing you to Fido. 1.1864 0.05657 59 49 9 1
4438 How would YOU like to pee on the lamppost? 1.1864 0.05657 59 49 9 1
4439 Are you going to behave you little son of a bitch? 1.1864 0.05657 59 49 9 1
4440 Trust me. Dogs are perfectly fine going to school. 1.1864 0.06151 59 50 7 2
4441 Oh, come now. Fetch, Catch, what's the difference? 1.1864 0.06151 59 50 7 2
4442 Don't worry Bobby, if he's got to pee, I will remove his shorts! 1.1864 0.05657 59 49 9 1
4443 He's better dressed, has a pedigree, walks nicely, and has a better disposition than a little turd like you buster! 1.1864 0.06151 59 50 7 2
4444 I know you were loving home school but his motor skills qualify him as kindergarten valedictorian! 1.1864 0.05657 59 49 9 1
4445 Cheer up. You can come too when you learn to make people smile and do little tricks for treats. 1.1864 0.05657 59 49 9 1
4446 Well if you could shake a paw you could sit at the good boy table, too." 1.1864 0.05114 59 48 11 0
4447 Though you are technically correct, it's not nice to refer to your step-brother as the The Dog-Faced Boy. 1.1864 0.05657 59 49 9 1
4448 C'mon, Billy. That's not fair. I don't always side with your sister. I even let you up on the furniture this morning. 1.1864 0.06151 59 50 7 2
4449 I can handle the treats but does he always have to get the nicer clothes? 1.1864 0.06151 59 50 7 2
4450 Cheer up! You’re not an alliterative anthropomorphic anachronism! 1.1864 0.05657 59 49 9 1
4451 That's alright, son. You'll be top dog once you are toilet trained like Rex. 1.1864 0.05114 59 48 11 0
4452 I’m just saying, as a Harvard graduate he can help get you through the second grade. 1.1864 0.05114 59 48 11 0
4453 OK, if he poops I'll clean it up... 1.1864 0.05657 59 49 9 1
4454 Of course I love you the same amount, Jimmy. You're both adopted after all! 1.1864 0.06151 59 50 7 2
4455 Hush kid! You're not the one in a suit standing on tiptoes while holding this guy's hand! 1.1864 0.06151 59 50 7 2
4456 It's only fair she acts like a little boy since you're gonna act like a little bitch. 1.1864 0.06151 59 49 7 2
4457 Kiss your new brother or I’m giving you back to the shelter. 1.1864 0.06151 59 50 7 2
4458 You cant say to your sister helo kity kity kity 1.1864 0.06151 59 50 7 2
4459 Hey buddy, wanna go for a walk? Huh? do ya boy? 1.1864 0.05657 59 49 9 1
4460 If it makes you feel any better, in dog years, he's actually quite immature. 1.1864 0.05657 59 49 9 1
4461 Look Timmy,we got you the little brother we promised. 1.1864 0.05657 59 49 9 1
4462 Adoption doesn't make you any less "family." So, why wouldn't he wear your hand-me-downs? 1.1864 0.05657 59 49 9 1
4463 I gave him your good suit because (a) you'll outgrow it before the lockdown is over, and (b) he spends more time outside than anyone else in the family. 1.1864 0.05657 59 49 9 1
4464 When you look this good in a suit, I'll take you to 'go to work with Dad' day. 1.1864 0.05657 59 49 9 1
4465 Don't be glum. He just didn't want to walk on a leash. 1.1864 0.05657 59 49 9 1
4466 Come on now, pet. Behave yourself. 1.1864 0.05657 59 49 9 1
4467 I know Timmy, your mother and I were shocked too but apparently sexual positions DO influence the sex of the baby! 1.1864 0.05657 59 49 9 1
4468 He's just going to be staying with us for the week; I'm sure you can share your clothes for a few days. 1.1864 0.05114 59 48 11 0
4469 Cooper, why can't you just drop it for a treat, like Tucker here? 1.1864 0.06609 59 51 5 3
4470 Don't listen to those kids, adopted siblings are nothing to be ashamed of. 1.1864 0.05657 59 49 9 1
4471 It's OK. Just stand up straight and you'll be getting a new suit too. 1.1864 0.05114 59 48 11 0
4472 C'mon, Billy. Don't fight with your brother. We will find a nice pole for you too. 1.1864 0.05114 59 48 11 0
4473 Don't get mad Bobby, Skruffy is just better at Little Lord Fauntleroy cosplay than you. 1.1864 0.06151 59 50 7 2
4474 Sorry Son. I accidentally sent your dog to Finishing school instead of Obedience training. 1.1864 0.06151 59 50 7 2
4475 For you behave in school, I will play throw and catch with you also 1.1864 0.05657 59 49 9 1
4476 It's OK buddy, he just retrieves better than you. 1.1864 0.05114 59 48 11 0
4477 See how nice the suit looks on him? Now you try it on. 1.1864 0.05657 59 49 9 1
4478 No really. You're going to love obedience school. 1.1864 0.05114 59 48 11 0
4479 You should try to be as loyal and affectionate as your brother. Things would go so much better for you. 1.1864 0.05657 59 49 9 1
4480 White privilege 1.1864 0.05657 59 49 9 1
4481 Wooof woof woof woof ... woof woof .. 1.1864 0.05657 59 49 9 1
4482 Look, Buddy is going to join you in your e-learning classes. The kids will love him on Zoom. He can be your filter. 1.1864 0.05114 59 48 11 0
4483 I know you wanted to wear the suit. Sometimes we near to share. 1.1864 0.05114 59 48 11 0
4484 It is alright Woofy-boy. We can find a tail for you too. 1.1864 0.06151 59 50 7 2
4485 It's the truth, Son. You're a good boy...he's just a better boy. 1.1864 0.06609 59 51 5 3
4486 True or not, Jimmy, it is not nice to call your best friend a son of a bitch. 1.1864 0.05114 59 48 11 0
4487 “ Oh c’mon...don’t start acting like your mother” 1.1864 0.06151 59 50 7 2
4488 Come on, son. If you keep dogging it you'll end up like your brother... 1.1864 0.06151 59 50 7 2
4489 yes, transfer power, c'mon, good boy 1.1864 0.06609 59 51 5 3
4490 Now Gerry, be nice to your step brother. 1.1864 0.05657 59 49 9 1
4491 ...because there is no remote learning for obedience school ! 1.1864 0.05114 59 48 11 0
4492 I will only wear them if I can keep the hole in the back 1.1864 0.05657 59 49 9 1
4493 See, this is what happens when you beg. 1.1864 0.06151 59 50 7 2
4494 Well, you were supposed to bring back the TV remote when I asked you. 1.1864 0.05114 59 48 11 0
4495 Donny, take a leaf out of Fang's book, and put you Big Boy Pants on. 1.1864 0.05657 59 49 9 1
4496 Well...This is your new teacher for Maths! 1.1864 0.05657 59 49 9 1
4497 you're not the favourite child Gene, now is not the time to make scene out of it. 1.1864 0.06151 59 50 7 2
4498 Dad, are you sure our dear mother gave birth to both of us? 1.1864 0.05657 59 49 9 1
4499 Dog: Happy to be yr brother.. Boy: Why the hell did u adopt him? 1.1864 0.05657 59 49 9 1
4500 dog school is just like normal schoool. It's just with dogs 1.1864 0.05114 59 48 11 0
4501 Son, during this schooling from home, we want you to learn to socialize, so can you at least try to make an effort with your classmate? 1.1864 0.05657 59 49 9 1
4502 If you keep misbehaving like this then one day you could be President! 1.1864 0.06151 59 50 7 2
4503 No, Darling. He will no longer catch or fetch. He will now sit and stay with you for online school. 1.1864 0.05114 59 48 11 0
4504 See what the dog’s learned during the stay at home order while you’ve been inside playing video games all day? 1.1864 0.05657 59 49 9 1
4505 Look, I’m sorry, but it was either you stepping in it, or him eating it 1.1864 0.05657 59 49 9 1
4506 If you just let him smell your butt once, I swear he’ll be your best friend. 1.1864 0.05114 59 48 11 0
4507 Don't worry too much, it's his turn to go for prom night. When it's your turn, you can go in any kind of suit you want and we're definitely going to get it for you 1.1864 0.05657 59 49 9 1
4508 Trust me. It's a more ironic and nuanced interpretation of 'It's a dog's life!' that you'll understand when you're older. 1.1864 0.05657 59 49 9 1
4509 which one should i pet? I can't choose 1.1864 0.06609 59 51 5 3
4510 Don't be stubborn, kid. You have to accept evolution 1.1864 0.05657 59 49 9 1
4511 Honey, why haven’t you learned how to bark yet? You have to work harder at school. 1.1864 0.05114 59 48 11 0
4512 These dog days will be over soon, I promise 1.1864 0.06151 59 50 7 2
4513 Im your bich dady not she 1.1864 0.06151 59 50 7 2
4514 Follow your brother’s example and act like a good little animal. 1.1864 0.05114 59 48 11 0
4515 Being the second “baby” of the family had never sat quite right with, Tommy. 1.1864 0.05657 59 49 9 1
4516 I’m not asking you to like our relationship, but you have to respect it. 1.1864 0.05114 59 48 11 0
4517 I think, I am gonna have to call the canine trainer again! 1.1864 0.05657 59 49 9 1
4518 See, your brother doesn’t mind holding hands. 1.1864 0.05657 59 49 9 1
4519 Aren’t you proud of your brother for being the valedictorian of his class at obedience school? 1.1864 0.05657 59 49 9 1
4520 He says he's sorry for eating your homework." "And for pissing in your Wheaties. 1.1864 0.05657 59 49 9 1
4521 No I won’t pick your poop up. 1.1864 0.06151 59 50 7 2
4522 You see, eating other's homework isn't so bad after all 1.1864 0.06151 59 50 7 2
4523 I told you, be more dog. 1.1864 0.05657 59 49 9 1
4524 I know it’s been rough year, but Lucky has had a ruff last seven years. 1.1864 0.05114 59 48 11 0
4525 Boys are dogs. Dogs are gentlemen 1.1864 0.05657 59 49 9 1
4526 Today is his day, son. 1.1864 0.05657 59 49 9 1
4527 Son, we couldn't find a small white rat to be your adopted brother, but here's a dog 1.1864 0.06151 59 50 7 2
4528 You’re still daddy’s best boy. He’s just daddy’s best friend and soulmate. 1.1864 0.06151 59 50 7 2
4529 Sorry, kiddo. There’s nothing in the rule book that says a dog can’t be my favorite. 1.1864 0.06151 59 50 7 2
4530 He’s one. You’re seven. You’re the same now. 1.1864 0.05114 59 48 11 0
4531 Son, if you could watch how he takes himself for a crap in the garden too, you will learn fast 1.1864 0.05657 59 49 9 1
4532 The boarding experience did not match the brochures. 1.1864 0.05657 59 49 9 1
4533 Do you want another bone? 1.1857 0.05105 70 58 11 1
4534 If you beg and rollover, you can be just like him. 1.1846 0.05756 65 55 8 2
4535 Bill, I forgot to tell you that your new mom's boy, Biff, is going to be like a brother to you 1.1846 0.05756 65 55 8 2
4536 googoogagafym 1.1846 0.05322 65 54 10 1
4537 C'mon. Just ask Spot. Obedience school is fun. 1.1833 0.05570 60 50 9 1
4538 Sorry son. A dog truly is a mans best friend. 1.1833 0.06056 60 51 7 2
4539 When you learn to fetch better, you can dress as dapper as Edgar. 1.1833 0.05038 60 49 11 0
4540 Don't worry son, I'm sure you can be a good boy too. 1.1833 0.05038 60 49 11 0
4541 Calm down Edgar, Dog's Lives Matter! 1.1833 0.06056 60 51 7 2
4542 But the suit no longer fits you Tommy. 1.1833 0.05038 60 49 11 0
4543 It's not always about you, Billy. Sometimes it's about Cooper. 1.1833 0.06056 60 51 7 2
4544 Try to be more like your brother. He's a good boy, yes he is. 1.1833 0.05038 60 49 11 0
4545 '' Son, learn to share with your brother'' 1.1833 0.05570 60 50 9 1
4546 Please be nice to Bobby, he's trying his best to be a good boy 1.1833 0.05570 60 50 9 1
4547 He deserves every opportunity that you do 1.1833 0.05570 60 50 9 1
4548 Be nice - he's your best friend. 1.1803 0.04963 61 50 11 0
4549 For the last time, he's not my brother. 1.1803 0.04963 61 50 11 0
4550 All she wants is a pet to play with. 1.1803 0.05964 61 52 7 2
4551 sorry, but your little brother is very prepy 1.1803 0.05486 61 51 9 1
4552 Although a bit underdressed, you are still my favorite. 1.1803 0.05964 61 52 7 2
4553 If you keep trying you can be a “good boy” on Reddit, too!” 1.1803 0.04963 61 50 11 0
4554 Can you get me a hoagie? 1.1800 0.05488 50 41 9 0
4555 After you graduate Obedience School, Tommy, you can wear nice clothes, too. 1.1800 0.05488 50 41 9 0
4556 Well your mother got your sister in the divorce so tough luck. Now go take a picture with Santa. 1.1800 0.05488 50 41 9 0
4557 Buddy, we still love you, it just that we wanted a son with little more integrity 1.1800 0.05488 50 41 9 0
4558 C'mon, Joey. He just wants to play catch with you. Don't worry, he won't bite. 1.1786 0.05759 56 47 8 1
4559 In this family, everyone is a winner. 1.1786 0.05759 56 47 8 1
4560 He's here to demonstrate obedience. 1.1786 0.05164 56 46 10 0
4561 See how far you can go when you dress well. 1.1786 0.05164 56 46 10 0
4562 The leash worked for me 1.1786 0.05164 56 46 10 0
4563 Your mom's working so you are both stuck with me. 1.1786 0.06297 56 48 6 2
4564 Now behave yourself, Jeffrey. Maybe one day you'll be like your brother, Herbie, here. 1.1786 0.06297 56 48 6 2
4565 When you're a good boy, you'll get the suit. 1.1786 0.05164 56 46 10 0
4566 If you were better behaved like him, I'd be saying WHAT A GOOD BOY! to you, too. 1.1786 0.06297 56 48 6 2
4567 I love you the same, but different! 1.1786 0.06297 56 48 6 2
4568 Come on, now! You know you like to go walkies. 1.1786 0.05759 56 47 8 1
4569 Darn it! Covid has broken Dad 1.1786 0.06793 56 49 4 3
4570 You can go to obedient school too! 1.1786 0.05759 56 47 8 1
4571 Don't tell your mother, we adopted a little boy! 1.1786 0.05759 56 47 8 1
4572 Does someone need their belly scratched? 1.1786 0.05759 56 47 8 1
4573 I promise. I will not to put a collar on you! 1.1786 0.05759 56 47 8 1
4574 It's important to dress for success. 1.1786 0.05759 56 47 8 1
4575 Don't worry—you can always get another pair of shoes. 1.1786 0.05759 56 47 8 1
4576 Just spend 2 weeks in his dog school and I promise I’ll throw you a bone. 1.1786 0.05164 56 46 10 0
4577 Now that he graduated obedience school, he'll get your room and you can bunk with your brother. 1.1786 0.05164 56 46 10 0
4578 There is a leash law, but you are technically exempt, for now. 1.1786 0.05164 56 46 10 0
4579 We both know your fur brother is not your real brother but humor him just this one time 1.1786 0.05164 56 46 10 0
4580 Do you want to be scratched behind your ears too? 1.1786 0.06297 56 48 6 2
4581 First off, he's your real brother. Second, there are some things your mom needs to explain to you. 1.1786 0.05164 56 46 10 0
4582 You’ll like the outfit more after your operation. 1.1786 0.06297 56 48 6 2
4583 stop growling, he's the dog 1.1786 0.05164 56 46 10 0
4584 Playing dress-up was the only idea Mom had left. Rex doesn't like it much either. 1.1786 0.05759 56 47 8 1
4585 Of course he gets more opportunities, he’s always happy to see me and never talks back! 1.1786 0.06297 56 48 6 2
4586 You can have the Playstation next time. 1.1786 0.05759 56 47 8 1
4587 Now son,say hi to your new mom. Give me my iPad back. I saw the cans in your room. 1.1786 0.06297 56 48 6 2
4588 He needs to borough your shoes to complete his outfit. 1.1786 0.06793 56 49 4 3
4589 Stand! 1.1786 0.06297 56 48 6 2
4590 It's not so bad. You get to live at the dog pound. 1.1786 0.05759 56 47 8 1
4591 Uncle Harry is going to adopt you. 1.1786 0.05759 56 47 8 1
4592 Come on Billy, at least you're not a dog. 1.1786 0.05164 56 46 10 0
4593 It's O.K. This is the year for adopting dogs and punishing kids. 1.1786 0.05759 56 47 8 1
4594 He's just my best friend, Bobby. You're just my son. 1.1786 0.05164 56 46 10 0
4595 Hey, you Aunt thinks this is her kid, you could at least play along. 1.1786 0.05164 56 46 10 0
4596 My friends say it's just like raising a child 1.1786 0.05759 56 47 8 1
4597 Sibling rivalry. 1.1786 0.05759 56 47 8 1
4598 Think of him as your well behaved older brother. 1.1786 0.05164 56 46 10 0
4599 You know she hates to be dressed in boy's clothes. Just say you're sorry. 1.1786 0.06297 56 48 6 2
4600 This is to make up for pulling you on his leash for six months. 1.1786 0.05164 56 46 10 0
4601 Now, no sulking - I'll get you a squeaky bone next year. 1.1786 0.06297 56 48 6 2
4602 Why can't you be more like Sparky here? 1.1786 0.05164 56 46 10 0
4603 I'd have thought that my own flesh and blood would be irreplaceable, but it's time to face facts. 1.1786 0.06297 56 48 6 2
4604 Just because he’s better dressed doesn’t mean I love you any less! 1.1786 0.05759 56 47 8 1
4605 It's ok, you don't have the same mother. His was a bitch. 1.1786 0.06297 56 47 6 2
4606 Yes, he’s your stepbrother. 1.1786 0.05759 56 47 8 1
4607 Now, dont you want to be a good boy, too? 1.1786 0.05759 56 47 8 1
4608 You'll be a good boy too when you learn to fetch. 1.1786 0.05164 56 46 10 0
4609 Awe, Jimmy, I know you wanted to play fetch but you know how much Fido loves dress up. 1.1786 0.05164 56 46 10 0
4610 I’ll be dog gone! 1.1786 0.06297 56 48 6 2
4611 It's okay, son. Being the second-goodest boy is no small feat. 1.1786 0.05759 56 47 8 1
4612 I’d like you to do us a favor though ... 1.1786 0.05164 56 46 10 0
4613 I promise - your bitch mother and I love you both equally. 1.1786 0.05164 56 46 10 0
4614 One day Bobby, you can have a nice coat too. 1.1786 0.06297 56 48 6 2
4615 Now shake and make up. 1.1786 0.05759 56 47 8 1
4616 Is it okay if he wants to try on your shoes? 1.1786 0.05164 56 46 10 0
4617 You should be more like your brother 1.1786 0.05164 56 46 10 0
4618 It’s okay boy, we’ll treat you like our son too! 1.1786 0.05164 56 46 10 0
4619 This is what the perfect son looks like 1.1786 0.05759 56 47 8 1
4620 He’s our fur baby, which makes him YOUR fur brother. 1.1786 0.05759 56 47 8 1
4621 Dad introduces the dog he didn’t want to the kid he forgot he had 1.1786 0.06793 56 49 4 3
4622 One day you’ll grow up emotionally ... 1.1786 0.05164 56 46 10 0
4623 I'm sorry, sweetie. They said only the superior child could wear a suit. 1.1786 0.05759 56 47 8 1
4624 Oh come now, you are my good boy too. 1.1786 0.05759 56 47 8 1
4625 If you behave, I’ll give you a treat. Who’s a good boy? 1.1786 0.05759 56 47 8 1
4626 you could be my “little fancy man” too, but you refused to wear the suit 1.1786 0.05164 56 46 10 0
4627 Don’t worry, little buddy. You’ll get to sleep inside when you act like a good boy. 1.1786 0.05759 56 47 8 1
4628 He said it wasn’t him but I think that chili was a bad idea. 1.1786 0.05164 56 46 10 0
4629 It's not that I'm playing favorites John but your brother DID came first... 1.1786 0.05759 56 47 8 1
4630 Just because he can doesn’t mean you should spend all your time trying....don’t make me get the newspaper... 1.1786 0.06297 56 48 6 2
4631 Dad I don’t think this is what mom meant when she said she wanted to ‘be more like the family in “Stuart Little”’ 1.1786 0.05759 56 47 8 1
4632 Dad, why does Rover get to go to real school and I am stuck with you as my homeschool teacher? 1.1786 0.05759 56 47 8 1
4633 'Sure, we're both 'dependants', but now there's a tail-hole in my church slacks.' 1.1786 0.05759 56 47 8 1
4634 well I wasn’t gonna leave the fair empty handed. 1.1786 0.05759 56 47 8 1
4635 this is why it's always better to foster before you commit 1.1786 0.05164 56 46 10 0
4636 Sorry, Queenie's Gambit is legal. 1.1774 0.05405 62 52 9 1
4637 Designer labels don't mean love. 1.1774 0.05405 62 52 9 1
4638 WALKIES 1.1774 0.05405 62 52 9 1
4639 Once again, you will not have to dress like this to go to school. 1.1774 0.05405 62 52 9 1
4640 Daddy loves you more even though Rufus behaves better. 1.1774 0.04891 62 51 11 0
4641 Wear a suit and you’ll get a treat, too. 1.1774 0.05405 62 52 9 1
4642 Bobby you should try to be more like your brother Rex : he never talks back to us and listens when he tell him the rules. 1.1774 0.05405 62 52 9 1
4643 I take him to the dog’s school because they can’t catch COVID. You will go soon enough but not for now. 1.1774 0.04891 62 51 11 0
4644 Since you loved Stuart Little so much, we figured a dog brother would be even better 1.1774 0.04891 62 51 11 0
4645 Now Jimmy, you'll have your day, too. 1.1765 0.06075 51 43 7 1
4646 All my best friends dress better than you, son. 1.1765 0.06075 51 43 7 1
4647 Existentially, he is an adult in 'dog years'. 1.1765 0.05107 68 57 10 1
4648 What do you mean the other kids said you don’t look alike? You’re identical twins! 1.1754 0.05665 57 48 8 1
4649 From now on, touch Fauntleroy only with your eyes. 1.1754 0.05083 57 47 10 0
4650 When you stop pooping in the house you can have new clothes too. 1.1754 0.05665 57 48 8 1
4651 Well, fetch is almost as good as catch 1.1754 0.05083 57 47 10 0
4652 I know, but 2020 taught us that life isn't fair. Remember? 1.1754 0.06194 57 49 6 2
4653 Good kids do not have to share their dads with dogs. 1.1754 0.06194 57 49 6 2
4654 It’s okay. You are going to have to get used to sharing your stuff now that mom and I adopted him. 1.1754 0.06681 57 50 4 3
4655 Maybe you should go to obedience school as well. 1.1754 0.05665 57 48 8 1
4656 Who is excited for some potty training? 1.1754 0.05665 57 48 8 1
4657 We’re going to play while your stepmother goes for a run. 1.1754 0.06194 57 49 6 2
4658 Cheer up, Fauntleroy. At least Mom didn't dress you in the suit. 1.1754 0.05083 57 47 10 0
4659 Yes, you are a good boy!! 1.1754 0.05665 57 48 8 1
4660 Don't pout, you'll get the treat next time. 1.1754 0.06194 57 49 6 2
4661 Now don’t get jealous Billy. We had our dog-baby long before you ever showed up. 1.1754 0.05083 57 47 10 0
4662 See - obedience school isn’t so hard. 1.1754 0.05083 57 47 10 0
4663 He ran away and joined the circus, but now he's back to stay. 1.1754 0.05083 57 47 10 0
4664 Don't be angry, you're still first in line for college. 1.1754 0.05083 57 47 10 0
4665 When you grow up he can be your best friend too. 1.1754 0.05665 57 48 8 1
4666 ''How about you and Rover kiss and make up?" 1.1754 0.05083 57 47 10 0
4667 You don't have to stand 6' apart! 1.1754 0.05083 57 47 10 0
4668 Now, just because she sleeps in a better bed than you, it doesn’t mean I love her more. 1.1754 0.05665 57 48 8 1
4669 Who farted? 1.1754 0.05665 57 48 8 1
4670 I just wanted you to know you can be replaced. 1.1754 0.05665 57 48 8 1
4671 You don't have to go to obedience school, but look how well Rascal turned out. 1.1754 0.05665 57 48 8 1
4672 Someday people will clean up your messes. But today is your turn, Donald 1.1754 0.06194 57 49 6 2
4673 Someday, if you’re especially well behaved, I‘ll be able to tell you “good boy” too. 1.1754 0.05665 57 48 8 1
4674 I know what Mommy said, but he still has to sleep in the dog house. 1.1754 0.05083 57 47 10 0
4675 You've out grown the suit, Jimmy, so we thought we'd give it to Rover. Remember, we have to share! 1.1754 0.05665 57 48 8 1
4676 One of you will inherit the earth, he other will eat it! 1.1754 0.06194 57 49 6 2
4677 I believe you but the neighbors said you did something awful on their lawn Frank Buckley Andover, MA 1.1754 0.05083 57 47 10 0
4678 Now play nice Donnie or I'll make you wear the suit tomorrow. 1.1754 0.05665 57 48 8 1
4679 If only they had obedience training for you. 1.1754 0.05083 57 47 10 0
4680 Max,I really try to treat you and your sister like equals. 1.1754 0.05083 57 47 10 0
4681 I'm taking him because he dresses better than you. 1.1754 0.05083 57 47 10 0
4682 Go easy, look at the clothes I put him in. 1.1754 0.05665 57 48 8 1
4683 Because he didn't foul the carpet this week and you did. 1.1754 0.05665 57 48 8 1
4684 Well if dressing the dog up just like him doesn’t make you get over your brother’s death I don’t know WHAT will! 1.1754 0.06194 57 49 6 2
4685 You're just going the have to share your toys with Fido 1.1754 0.05083 57 47 10 0
4686 You need to start dressing like the good boy you want to be. 1.1754 0.05083 57 47 10 0
4687 Which one of you was going to obedience school? 1.1754 0.05665 57 48 8 1
4688 It stops this or it gets the leash 1.1754 0.06194 57 49 6 2
4689 Dog-gone it, he will be back after he gets his ped-degree. 1.1754 0.05665 57 48 8 1
4690 It's OK, we'll get you a doggie treat too. 1.1754 0.05083 57 47 10 0
4691 Frowning doesn't help Daddy keep his metrics up." 1.1754 0.05083 57 47 10 0
4692 You can wear the short pants tomorrow 1.1754 0.05665 57 48 8 1
4693 Now son, I think the correct term is 'humanly-challenged canine'. 1.1754 0.05665 57 48 8 1
4694 If you can't behave, I'm going to send you to obedience school. 1.1754 0.05083 57 47 10 0
4695 Why do I always get the hand-me-downs? 1.1754 0.05665 57 48 8 1
4696 No, we DON’T love him more than you! 1.1754 0.05083 57 47 10 0
4697 FUCK YOU DAD 1.1754 0.06681 57 50 4 3
4698 When you graduate from obedience school, you'll get a nice suit of clothes, too. 1.1754 0.05083 57 47 10 0
4699 I can’t call you a “good boy” until you learn how to heel. 1.1754 0.05083 57 47 10 0
4700 Straight a’s in obedience school gets you the suit 1.1754 0.05083 57 47 10 0
4701 Im sorry son but we only have one clean mask so you have to stay home while I walk Fido. 1.1754 0.05083 57 47 10 0
4702 Come on little boy, let's go for a walk with daddy! 1.1754 0.05665 57 48 8 1
4703 With schools being remote and social distance restrictions,we tried to use the family dog to fake a play date but our son saw right through it. 1.1754 0.05083 57 47 10 0
4704 Look! If you would go to church and stay quiet, you could wear a nice suit like Doxie. 1.1754 0.05665 57 48 8 1
4705 I know you wanted ice cream Brian, but last time I checked, it was Banjo who passed the canine good citizen test, and not you. 1.1754 0.05083 57 47 10 0
4706 I don’t care if he’s my new puppy ... I want that suit! 1.1754 0.06194 57 49 6 2
4707 He’s your new tutor and rarely has a bone to pick with you. 1.1754 0.05665 57 48 8 1
4708 He's NOT my little brother! 1.1754 0.05665 57 48 8 1
4709 Well yes, Jip is cuter but we love you too. 1.1754 0.05665 57 48 8 1
4710 You don't like your baby brother from another mother? 1.1754 0.05665 57 48 8 1
4711 Harry, what the kid at school have been saying is true. You are adopted. 1.1754 0.06194 57 49 6 2
4712 Sorry, Timmy. Buster just wears the suit better than you. 1.1754 0.05083 57 47 10 0
4713 Rex enjoyed obedience school. You will too. 1.1754 0.05665 57 48 8 1
4714 He was named after you. Not the other way around. 1.1754 0.06194 57 49 6 2
4715 When we ship you off to boarding school, you can wear a uniform just like it! 1.1754 0.05665 57 48 8 1
4716 You can have the Angus Young costume back after he's done with it 1.1754 0.05665 57 48 8 1
4717 I thought we were going to the vet, not the Met. 1.1754 0.05665 57 48 8 1
4718 who's a good boy? no really, give it a shot 1.1754 0.05665 57 48 8 1
4719 Be a good boy. It’s his first day of puppy school. 1.1754 0.06194 57 49 6 2
4720 When you learn to behave, you can have nice clothes too. 1.1754 0.05083 57 47 10 0
4721 C'mon, shake hands. Shake, boy! 1.1754 0.05665 57 48 8 1
4722 Elmer, Elmer, why can't you be a good boy too? 1.1754 0.05083 57 47 10 0
4723 He got into Dalton that’s why. 1.1754 0.05665 57 48 8 1
4724 A, you've outgrown it, and B, he is a very good boy. 1.1754 0.05083 57 47 10 0
4725 Stop pouting. When you say ‘speak,’ he’ll tell the teacher he ate your homework. 1.1754 0.05665 57 48 8 1
4726 Be nice to daddy's best friend... 1.1754 0.05665 57 48 8 1
4727 Looks like I found you a partner for the three legged race. 1.1754 0.06194 57 49 6 2
4728 Sorry, I didn't know you wanted a new suit. too. 1.1754 0.05083 57 47 10 0
4729 Stop treating your brother like a dog. 1.1754 0.05665 57 48 8 1
4730 He’s a good doggy and you’re not, so it’s off to the kennel with you! 1.1754 0.05083 57 47 10 0
4731 Come on. You can hold my hand without getting a liver treat. I only have enough for one. 1.1754 0.05083 57 47 10 0
4732 If you behave yourself like a big boy, I’ll get you a swell outfit too. 1.1754 0.05665 57 48 8 1
4733 Why the pouty face son? I told you it’s a dog eat dog world out there... Mark Grossman, Queens, NY 1.1754 0.05083 57 47 10 0
4734 If I let you pee outside, will you behave as well as Fido? 1.1754 0.05083 57 47 10 0
4735 There there, Timmy, no need to be upset! Mister Barker here has agreed to testify that he ate your homework. 1.1754 0.05665 57 48 8 1
4736 Doesn't your old uniform look good on your brother? He'll wear it on his virtual training. 1.1754 0.05083 57 47 10 0
4737 If you don't fight, I'll dress you like the dog. 1.1754 0.06194 57 49 6 2
4738 The fact that he doesn't pout doesn't mean that I like him better! He also dresses with a fllair rarely seen these days! 1.1754 0.06194 57 49 6 2
4739 But it was a statement, not an insult! 1.1754 0.06194 57 49 6 2
4740 I promise I will get you a hamburger as soon as I give your brother a dog biscuit 1.1754 0.05083 57 47 10 0
4741 Your cousin is cutter, but he doesn't have two wee-wees! 1.1754 0.06194 57 49 6 2
4742 Tommy, of course you are more important to me than Mr. Biggles. I will give you candy if you are good, Bigs just gets a stick. Just don’t tell him that! 1.1754 0.06194 57 49 6 2
4743 Sweetie, I love both of you equally. 1.1754 0.05665 57 48 8 1
4744 C’mon, your life’s not so ruff. 1.1754 0.06681 57 50 4 3
4745 Timmy, you know I love you, but Stuart is our first born. 1.1754 0.05665 57 48 8 1
4746 I know that you are upset, but he is the teacher's pet. 1.1754 0.05083 57 47 10 0
4747 HE HAS MORE HAIR THAN YOU. 1.1754 0.05665 57 48 8 1
4748 Of course, I love the dog more than you. 1.1754 0.05083 57 47 10 0
4749 See what happens when you don't do what Daddy says!? 1.1754 0.05665 57 48 8 1
4750 Now Donald, you need to mind your manners, like Mike here. 1.1754 0.06194 57 49 6 2
4751 Come on Billy, we are all living a dog's life 1.1754 0.05083 57 47 10 0
4752 You said you didn't want clothes for Christmas 1.1754 0.05665 57 48 8 1
4753 If you learn to stand up to pee, you can have a treat like his. 1.1754 0.05083 57 47 10 0
4754 He’s a very good boy. 1.1754 0.05083 57 47 10 0
4755 You better take him home! 1.1754 0.05083 57 47 10 0
4756 But it’s ok, you can still take out the garbage... 1.1754 0.05083 57 47 10 0
4757 That’s right....you’re not an only puppy anymore! 1.1754 0.05083 57 47 10 0
4758 That suit is for boys who don't make messes in the house. 1.1754 0.05083 57 47 10 0
4759 It's not you, I promise. He just gets me more. 1.1754 0.05083 57 47 10 0
4760 Cheer up, being number two is still pretty good. 1.1754 0.05083 57 47 10 0
4761 The microchip is so you won’t get lost again, son. Your brother has one too! 1.1754 0.05665 57 48 8 1
4762 Why can’t you be more like your brother over here?? 1.1754 0.05665 57 48 8 1
4763 Can't you behave like your brother? 1.1754 0.05083 57 47 10 0
4764 Ok, now let's practice Daddy drop-off! 1.1754 0.05083 57 47 10 0
4765 Why do you always throw him the ball? 1.1754 0.05083 57 47 10 0
4766 It's not my fault he won't hold your hand! 1.1754 0.05665 57 48 8 1
4767 You wanted a brother and here he is. 1.1754 0.05665 57 48 8 1
4768 You be a good boy like Clyde, and daddy will love you too! 1.1754 0.06194 57 49 6 2
4769 Remember mommy's favorite show 'Trading Spouses?' Well, even after the stunt you pulled last night, the Morrises agreed to try you out for the week. You get Chucho's bed. 1.1754 0.05083 57 47 10 0
4770 I don't care who started it–you just can't call someone a butt-sniffer. 1.1754 0.05083 57 47 10 0
4771 It’s just ‘til I get more plastic bags, son. 1.1754 0.05665 57 48 8 1
4772 He's a good boy. He stopped trying to make fetch happen. 1.1754 0.06681 57 50 4 3
4773 Jimmy, don't be mad, you don't like Fido's food so let him pretend he's my favorite. 1.1754 0.05665 57 48 8 1
4774 Jimmy, give Fido back his dog treat. If you went to obedience school, you’d get your own and learn how to be patient. 1.1754 0.05083 57 47 10 0
4775 Billy, I am not playing favorites, why can’t you learn to be obedient like Charles here? 1.1754 0.05083 57 47 10 0
4776 I want you to meet you new brother... He knows two languages and will help you with your one. 1.1754 0.05083 57 47 10 0
4777 It's just breeding, Timmy. 1.1754 0.05083 57 47 10 0
4778 Be nice a Ben he wants you to sniff his butt 1.1754 0.05665 57 48 8 1
4779 Stop tormenting Little Lord Fido-Roy, Bobby, or, I swear, he'll cut you down with a withering glance. 1.1754 0.06194 57 49 6 2
4780 He'll be coming by twice a week to help you with your schoolwork and your obedience. 1.1754 0.05083 57 47 10 0
4781 Son, I told you: we walk the dog and THEN get ice cream. 1.1754 0.05665 57 48 8 1
4782 Come on now—she dressed up just to impress you. 1.1754 0.05083 57 47 10 0
4783 This is your new brother 1.1754 0.05083 57 47 10 0
4784 C'mon, Billy. You know how much you hate having to wear a suit. 1.1754 0.05665 57 48 8 1
4785 look. they just dress different at dog school. 1.1754 0.05665 57 48 8 1
4786 It’s time to be a good boy and go potty outside like your brother. 1.1754 0.05083 57 47 10 0
4787 Now give your new stepmother a kiss... 1.1754 0.06681 57 50 4 3
4788 Son, we can't afford to send both of you to boarding school. 1.1754 0.06194 57 49 6 2
4789 Don't worry, Billy, you can have some fleas too! 1.1754 0.05083 57 47 10 0
4790 How about tomorrow,you can go with no shoes too? 1.1754 0.05083 57 47 10 0
4791 She doesn’t fetch, but admit she’s a snappy dresser. 1.1754 0.06194 57 49 6 2
4792 How come you never call me a good boy? 1.1754 0.05083 57 47 10 0
4793 I hope to be a well suited addition to your family. 1.1754 0.05665 57 48 8 1
4794 Ok, fine, he said you can borrow his flea collar. 1.1754 0.05083 57 47 10 0
4795 I know, son...but he was the only one they had that was house trained. 1.1754 0.05083 57 47 10 0
4796 C’mon now, you see how Drucker is doing his share for our blended family. 1.1754 0.05665 57 48 8 1
4797 You're acting like your sister. 1.1754 0.05665 57 48 8 1
4798 I will give you a biscuit too if you come with us! 1.1754 0.05083 57 47 10 0
4799 You said you wanted a baby sister. 1.1754 0.05665 57 48 8 1
4800 Calm down, Paulie! They’ve got pistachio almond, too, not just Purina Pro Plan. 1.1754 0.05083 57 47 10 0
4801 You can wear his outfit next time! 1.1754 0.05083 57 47 10 0
4802 Don't be silly,Max,you're already house trained. 1.1754 0.05083 57 47 10 0
4803 Sorry Jimmy - but we can't buy you a tail like Oscar/s But you look nice in your striped t-shirt 1.1754 0.05083 57 47 10 0
4804 Son, meet your personal trainer on obedience 1.1754 0.05665 57 48 8 1
4805 Yes, he's a dog, but he's your brother. 1.1754 0.05083 57 47 10 0
4806 Act more like Timmy and you’ll get a treat too. 1.1754 0.05665 57 48 8 1
4807 But the suit is too small for you now. 1.1754 0.05083 57 47 10 0
4808 I want some dog biscuits too, daddy! 1.1754 0.05665 57 48 8 1
4809 You're just jealous because he won the Best of Show! 1.1754 0.06194 57 49 6 2
4810 You can have dessert only once you're classically conditioned." 1.1754 0.05083 57 47 10 0
4811 Who's a bad boy? Are you a bad boy? 1.1754 0.05083 57 47 10 0
4812 Fido was having some Covid issues, so I arranged a play date for him. 1.1754 0.05665 57 48 8 1
4813 Your older brother Harry doesn’t mind going on a walk. 1.1754 0.05665 57 48 8 1
4814 Sonny,meet your new brother Fredo 1.1754 0.05665 57 48 8 1
4815 Enough already! You’re the bully and he’s the gent. Now get over it! 1.1754 0.05665 57 48 8 1
4816 Say hello to your new brother. He'll be your friend for life? 1.1754 0.05665 57 48 8 1
4817 Come on, you always said you wanted a dog and a little brother. 1.1754 0.05665 57 48 8 1
4818 Don't fret. I'll never get him long pants. 1.1754 0.05083 57 47 10 0
4819 Does this mean I get to pee on the floor too? 1.1754 0.05665 57 48 8 1
4820 Not just your Brother, think about how this will stand out on your College Application. 1.1754 0.05665 57 48 8 1
4821 Quit pouting. It's rattlesnake season and he has a master's in herpetology! 1.1754 0.06194 57 49 6 2
4822 C'mon Buddy, just go along with it. I'm sure Rex's Little Lord Fauntleroy stage will soon pass. 1.1754 0.05083 57 47 10 0
4823 Sorry, collars are for dogs. 1.1754 0.05083 57 47 10 0
4824 Dogs are here to teach us lessons. 1.1754 0.05665 57 48 8 1
4825 Well when you’re able to make it to the John every time, Mom will make you an outfit too! 1.1754 0.05083 57 47 10 0
4826 Now Tommy, can you be a good dog too? 1.1754 0.05083 57 47 10 0
4827 Bobby, be nice or you won't get your chew toy. 1.1754 0.05083 57 47 10 0
4828 Wag your tail and you'll get a nice suit too. 1.1754 0.05083 57 47 10 0
4829 His father's a dandy, too--and his mother's a prize-winning boxer. 1.1754 0.05665 57 48 8 1
4830 Sorry Timmy, but “Every dog has its day” only applies to dogs. 1.1754 0.05083 57 47 10 0
4831 Alright, Son. We’ll get you your own pair of short pants with a jacket to match. 1.1754 0.05665 57 48 8 1
4832 Can you please try to be cute and precious like your brother! 1.1754 0.05083 57 47 10 0
4833 Now son, the dog was able to learn to walk through online learning. 1.1754 0.05665 57 48 8 1
4834 He chose biscuits this time! Maybe some other time we’ll do chocolates! There’s a good boy! 1.1754 0.05083 57 47 10 0
4835 Don't worry--I brought treats for both of you. 1.1754 0.06194 57 49 6 2
4836 He went with you to your school, now you need to go with him to Obedience School. 1.1754 0.05665 57 48 8 1
4837 The truth is that you’re just not good a boy 1.1754 0.05665 57 48 8 1
4838 You're okay for now . . . until report cards. 1.1754 0.05083 57 47 10 0
4839 No son. My guru doesn't want to Play fetch. He ist here to teach me how to reach the state of good Boy through meditation. 1.1754 0.06681 57 50 4 3
4840 It'll be like a little brother. Haven't you always wanted a little brother? 1.1754 0.06681 57 50 4 3
4841 Sorry, we had to choose, they will be very good to you. 1.1754 0.05665 57 48 8 1
4842 Oh sure you can! Just try once more in 5...6...7...8 1.1754 0.05083 57 47 10 0
4843 Not everyone knows how to handle a crisis 1.1754 0.06194 57 49 6 2
4844 wait till I'll give him to cruella 1.1754 0.05665 57 48 8 1
4845 Come on, Joey - don’t you want to be a good boy, like your brother? 1.1754 0.06194 57 49 6 2
4846 Sorry but my dog is more intelligent than your child 1.1754 0.05665 57 48 8 1
4847 Damn it smells like updog" "What's updog" "Nothing much, how about you? 1.1754 0.05665 57 48 8 1
4848 You can hire a better dog trainer, but you can't hire a better dad 1.1754 0.05665 57 48 8 1
4849 Not too loud because the baby is sleeping 1.1754 0.05665 57 48 8 1
4850 Divorce settlements, amiright? 1.1754 0.05665 57 48 8 1
4851 be nice with Spot and you can have ice cream, is his first time out as a family 1.1754 0.05665 57 48 8 1
4852 I told him he’s a good boy. He’s just very literal. 1.1754 0.05665 57 48 8 1
4853 2020 Pandemic fatherhood 101 1.1754 0.05665 57 48 8 1
4854 I’m sorry, Billy. It is Bacon’s turn to wear the suit. 1.1754 0.05083 57 47 10 0
4855 No, it doesn't look like it, but he's way older than you. 1.1754 0.05083 57 47 10 0
4856 Sorry Jimmy, but I call 'em like I see 'em he's a good boy, and well, your not. 1.1754 0.05665 57 48 8 1
4857 I told you son...”No more RUFF housing” 1.1754 0.05083 57 47 10 0
4858 I’m sorry Jimmy, he was already my best friend and now he can WALK! You’ll have to sleep in the kennel. 1.1754 0.05083 57 47 10 0
4859 Now be a good boy like your brother here 1.1754 0.05083 57 47 10 0
4860 Who’s daddy good boi? 1.1754 0.05665 57 48 8 1
4861 I’m sorry, bud, I know you wanted to wear the suit, but it just looks better on him. 1.1754 0.05083 57 47 10 0
4862 Great, now give me some sanitizer. You just touched my hand. 1.1754 0.05083 57 47 10 0
4863 First a mouse? Now this? 1.1754 0.05083 57 47 10 0
4864 Come on son, we have been staying at home all the time. Our dog is ready to take us out for a walk. 1.1754 0.05665 57 48 8 1
4865 It’s okay to keep moving forward. You must evolve too. 1.1754 0.05083 57 47 10 0
4866 Once you outgrow the dog house, you will get a big boy bed too 1.1754 0.06194 57 49 6 2
4867 Please believe me, only dogs wear suits. 1.1754 0.06194 57 49 6 2
4868 Good boy, who wants to go for a walk? 1.1754 0.05665 57 48 8 1
4869 Jimmy, I’ve explained this before. Custody ruled that Daddy has to spend weekends with Rex and weekdays with you and your sister. 1.1754 0.05083 57 47 10 0
4870 No son, I will not walk you on a leash just because he gets to walk on his two paws. 1.1754 0.05083 57 47 10 0
4871 I know you like cats, but you have to learn to respect dog people too. 1.1754 0.05665 57 48 8 1
4872 You ARE special but he’s the son I never had 🐶 1.1754 0.05665 57 48 8 1
4873 Bingo didn’t mean it. He’s just a fur baby. 1.1754 0.05665 57 48 8 1
4874 We simply took into account his want for equality, in fact, he is the smartest of you too. No need to be rude! 1.1754 0.06681 57 50 4 3
4875 Forced Perspectives 1.1754 0.05665 57 48 8 1
4876 It’s a dog’s life, son 1.1754 0.05665 57 48 8 1
4877 I just like him better, okay 1.1754 0.05083 57 46 10 0
4878 Why can’t you be a good boy too? 1.1754 0.06194 57 49 6 2
4879 Don’t worry, you will be a sire too one day” 1.1754 0.05665 57 48 8 1
4880 But he got the better outfit 1.1754 0.05083 57 47 10 0
4881 Humphrey, this is your new potty trainer! 1.1754 0.05083 57 47 10 0
4882 He always gets more treats this way. 1.1754 0.05665 57 48 8 1
4883 He gets to wear your suit because he takes better care of it. 1.1754 0.05665 57 48 8 1
4884 Hey, don't be angry - Grandma likes you too! 1.1754 0.05665 57 48 8 1
4885 Don’t be sad. You’ll get a fancy suit when you graduate in 12 years. 1.1754 0.05665 57 48 8 1
4886 You just need to learn how to be a "good boy'.....like your foster brother. 1.1754 0.05083 57 47 10 0
4887 See little Bobby? That is what you gotta do if you want to earn my love and respect. You should behave more like your brother Rocco. 1.1754 0.06194 57 49 6 2
4888 Son, he doesn’t need to put on a mask, it’s not safe for pets. 1.1754 0.05083 57 47 10 0
4889 It's all about good breeding. Sit. Stay. Who's a good boy? 1.1754 0.05665 57 48 8 1
4890 Son, life is more than the Disney Channel. You loved taking walks with your brother and me. Back in 2019. Remember? 1.1754 0.06194 57 49 6 2
4891 If you stop sniffing everything you’ll get a treat too!” 1.1754 0.05083 57 47 10 0
4892 Don't worry Sparky you'll always be my #1 1.1754 0.05083 57 47 10 0
4893 He is the prince and you are his whipping boy. 1.1754 0.06194 57 49 6 2
4894 heads or tails? 1.1754 0.05665 57 48 8 1
4895 Don’t worry; he’s been trained to know when it’s your turn on the Xbox. 1.1754 0.05665 57 48 8 1
4896 Don't be jealous, Tommy. He was our first baby and our good handsome boy. 1.1754 0.05083 57 47 10 0
4897 Don't call your sister a bitch she has a name 1.1754 0.06194 57 49 6 2
4898 Oh son, I can’t imagine why you thought you were a dog all these years 1.1754 0.05665 57 48 8 1
4899 Its fine. Your brother is potty trained. 1.1746 0.05787 63 54 7 2
4900 'Hey! I love you just as much as Fido--well, ok, almost as much.' 1.1746 0.05326 63 53 9 1
4901 Look how cool this dog looks 1.1746 0.05326 63 53 9 1
4902 If you still don’t like him after a week, we’ll take him back to the haberdasher..” 1.1746 0.04821 63 52 11 0
4903 Be a good boy like him! 1.1731 0.05297 52 43 9 0
4904 Ok! you can have his collar and lead .Just don' t bite 1.1731 0.05297 52 43 9 0
4905 Can I get you a milkbone? 1.1731 0.05297 52 43 9 0
4906 He's very well bred. He just needs to be housetrained. 1.1731 0.05967 52 44 7 1
4907 Come on, say hello to your new classmate! 1.1731 0.05297 52 43 9 0
4908 Of course I'll still love you just as much!" 1.1731 0.05297 52 43 9 0
4909 Don't worry, Bobby. You can wear a button down shirt too, just a soon as you learn to button. 1.1731 0.05297 52 43 9 0
4910 Think if him as your brother from another mother. 1.1731 0.05297 52 43 9 0
4911 Oh Tommy,you come a close second. 1.1731 0.05297 52 43 9 0
4912 Be a good boy and say you're sorry. 1.1731 0.05967 52 44 7 1
4913 And here is your replacement! 1.1731 0.05967 52 44 7 1
4914 I know we’re cat people, but this one doesn’t drool. 1.1731 0.06569 52 45 5 2
4915 No Timmy, your mother isn't a bitch. 1.1731 0.05967 52 44 7 1
4916 we would never choose favorites in this family 1.1731 0.05297 52 43 9 0
4917 YOU will never be my best friend. 1.1731 0.05967 52 44 7 1
4918 You can sleep inside too once you're housebroken like him. 1.1724 0.05003 58 48 10 0
4919 Look, I offered to dress you up like a good boy, too. 1.1724 0.05575 58 49 8 1
4920 He’s your stepbrother! He’s moving in with us cuz his mom’s a real bitch 1.1724 0.05003 58 48 10 0
4921 From now on, Joey, you’ll be on the leash - not Smokey 1.1724 0.05575 58 49 8 1
4922 So he needs to borrow your hush puppies.” Douglas Monaghan, Floral Park, N 1.1724 0.05003 58 48 10 0
4923 Come on, Skipper knows a park we can go to. 1.1724 0.06094 58 50 6 2
4924 OK If it'll make you happy, next time I'll get you a real brother to play with. 1.1724 0.05575 58 49 8 1
4925 We'll take it off. He doesn't like wearing your baby clothes either. 1.1724 0.05575 58 49 8 1
4926 I told you to watch "Sophie's Choice" yesterday. 1.1724 0.05575 58 49 8 1
4927 I don 1.1724 0.05575 58 49 8 1
4928 Well, yeah he doesn't fetch, but if you give him the biscuit he'll be your tutor! 1.1724 0.06094 58 50 6 2
4929 Don't worry, Buddy: we will drop her off at school then go for a walk in the park. 1.1724 0.05003 58 48 10 0
4930 It's okay, you never wear them anymore and the wouldn't fit you anyway. 1.1724 0.05575 58 49 8 1
4931 Of course I love you as much as the dog, ummm, thingummy 1.1724 0.06094 58 50 6 2
4932 I hate the pansy dog. I wanted a gerbil. 1.1724 0.06571 58 51 4 3
4933 Childhood disgust 1.1724 0.05575 58 49 8 1
4934 This Man's Best Friend thing is going too far! 1.1724 0.05003 58 48 10 0
4935 Billy, you've got to accept that you're our second child 1.1724 0.05003 58 48 10 0
4936 Who's a little son of a bitch? You are. Yes, you are. 1.1724 0.05003 58 48 10 0
4937 He just wants to go out for a walk with you. I will do any picking up that needs doing. 1.1724 0.05003 58 48 10 0
4938 I love you both! His suit is for acing obedience school. 1.1724 0.05003 58 48 10 0
4939 Next time you can choose the movie. 1.1724 0.05003 58 48 10 0
4940 You may have heard waffles, but I'm sure I've said truffles! 1.1724 0.05003 58 48 10 0
4941 It's no use yelling at your brother. Barking dogs never bite. 1.1724 0.05003 58 48 10 0
4942 Why do I have to be on the leash?! 1.1724 0.05575 58 49 8 1
4943 Son, fetch is just not your game...maybe you guys should just play video games? 1.1724 0.06094 58 50 6 2
4944 It's just a matter of time to step up your performance 1.1724 0.05003 58 48 10 0
4945 Now who's my good boy c'mon c'mon..off to the dog park. 1.1724 0.05575 58 49 8 1
4946 Don't worry. You're still and only child. 1.1719 0.05249 64 54 9 1
4947 Why can't you be more like Skippy? 1.1719 0.04753 64 53 11 0
4948 It’s becauseI don’t love you. 1.1702 0.06321 47 40 6 1
4949 You want a treat? Who’s a good boy? Are you a good boy? 1.1702 0.06321 47 40 6 1
4950 I don't think Mommy likes him best... 1.1702 0.06321 47 40 6 1
4951 See son, All Lives Matter”.. 1.1702 0.06321 47 40 6 1
4952 One day you'll have a jawline fit for a peter pan collar. But today's just not that day. 1.1695 0.05997 59 51 6 2
4953 You should be grateful to your brother for giving you some hand-me-downs. 1.1695 0.05488 59 50 8 1
4954 Now Timmy, you were the one who kept asking for a dog. I can't help it if I like him better than you. 1.1695 0.05488 59 50 8 1
4955 Come on Timmy, why can’t you be more like your brother? 1.1695 0.05997 59 51 6 2
4956 Why can't you be more like your little sister? 1.1695 0.05488 59 50 8 1
4957 Jimmy, the ‘cat’s pajamas’ is just a figure a speech. 1.1695 0.05488 59 50 8 1
4958 Why don’t you like the treats and the bones that I am giving you? 1.1695 0.05488 59 50 8 1
4959 He's house broken and your not... 1.1695 0.05488 59 50 8 1
4960 When you can catch a ball with your mouth, you'll get nice clothes, too. 1.1695 0.04926 59 49 10 0
4961 Because THAT'S who's a good boy! 1.1695 0.04926 59 49 10 0
4962 He's had obedience training. You can too. 1.1695 0.05488 59 50 8 1
4963 Now be nice. He's your new friend. He'll teach you how to chase a ball. 1.1695 0.04926 59 49 10 0
4964 He promises never to bite you when he is wearing your clothes. 1.1695 0.04926 59 49 10 0
4965 No...we can't return him . He's your brother. 1.1695 0.05488 59 50 8 1
4966 What do you want, grumpy face, the Tux or the dog! 1.1695 0.05488 59 50 8 1
4967 Cmon, give a good woof and you can go barefoot too. 1.1695 0.04926 59 49 10 0
4968 Cheer up! You can have the suit when your brother outgrows it. 1.1695 0.05488 59 50 8 1
4969 You can keep your sandals,but you have to wear the suit. 1.1695 0.05488 59 50 8 1
4970 Dino would like you to go to the children's playground with him. 1.1695 0.04926 59 49 10 0
4971 Billie, so Donnie got a full scholarship, but you get to go to obedience school for free! 1.1695 0.04926 59 49 10 0
4972 Son, Waldo says it was you who Quibbled and Bit. 1.1695 0.05997 59 51 6 2
4973 Look at it this way--at least YOU don't have to wear the outfit. 1.1695 0.05488 59 50 8 1
4974 Yes son, you are going to doggie daycare again even with him dressed like that. 1.1695 0.05488 59 50 8 1
4975 Come on, play with him and learn how to behave like an animal. 1.1695 0.05488 59 50 8 1
4976 There are two dogs in this picture,but only young Timmy knows it... 1.1695 0.05488 59 50 8 1
4977 Why can't you be more like Buck? 1.1695 0.04926 59 49 10 0
4978 Stop that! They're children starving in Africa 1.1695 0.05997 59 51 6 2
4979 Introducing your new mama. 1.1695 0.05488 59 50 8 1
4980 Home time Trump. The litter have spoken. 1.1695 0.05488 59 50 8 1
4981 Come on, can you just try to be a good boy like him, you mother fucker? 1.1695 0.05997 59 51 6 2
4982 Cheer up son, if you're good after this I'll let you bury a bone in the backyard. 1.1667 0.04852 60 50 10 0
4983 Yes, but in dog years he's older. 1.1667 0.06339 54 47 5 2
4984 Now Jimmy, you were adopted too, and you don't see Bentley Jr. getting upset. 1.1667 0.05761 54 46 7 1
4985 Your's is shut down so for now you'll have to go to Spot's school. 1.1667 0.05119 54 45 9 0
4986 Your new mommy is literally a bitch. 1.1667 0.05761 54 46 7 1
4987 You told Santa that you wanted a brother for Christmas. This is you new brother Fetch! 1.1667 0.05761 54 46 7 1
4988 I'm sure you'll get to love your new brother soon. 1.1667 0.05119 54 45 9 0
4989 If Toby can bark like an English toff, you can learn to like kibble. 1.1667 0.06339 54 47 5 2
4990 Can you be a good boy for me like Pickles here? 1.1667 0.04852 60 50 10 0
4991 John dear, just try to behave like Baxter!" Lars-Erik Öller, Stockholm, Swede 1.1667 0.05119 54 45 9 0
4992 Why can't you be more like your brother Dog? 1.1667 0.05119 54 45 9 0
4993 No, you're not. You don't have a tail. 1.1667 0.05119 54 45 9 0
4994 Son, you need a worm tablet. 1.1667 0.05403 60 51 8 1
4995 Who looks like the little bitch now, Henry? 1.1667 0.04852 60 50 10 0
4996 Don't worry, champ, you'll learn not to bite the mailman like Rufus here someday. 1.1667 0.05761 54 46 7 1
4997 You may take your shoes off, too. 1.1667 0.04852 60 50 10 0
4998 Kindergarten is for little children, obedience school is for little dogs. Which one are you Jimmy? 1.1667 0.05119 54 45 9 0
4999 Just because we adopted Fitzpatrick and dressed him as your brother, it doesn’t mean we love you any less. 1.1667 0.06339 54 47 5 2
5000 You can be a socialist if you like, but you can't hit little lord Fauntleroy 1.1667 0.05761 54 46 7 1
5001 Yeah Buddy, but he's also going to obedience school! How can you be disobedient if Mommy and I never expect you to behave? 1.1667 0.05119 54 45 9 0
5002 C'mon, buddy, don't be like that. He's supposed to be more grown up than you. He's 42 and you're only 7. 1.1667 0.05761 54 46 7 1
5003 Fetch like your brother Tim. Be a good boy. 1.1667 0.05403 60 51 8 1
5004 He’s big and so are his poops. Just walk him over carefully to the deep grass where he can go, and no one will see. 1.1667 0.05761 54 46 7 1
5005 Now I get it. You wanted a hog that plays the flute - not a dog in a suit. 1.1667 0.06339 54 47 5 2
5006 Sure he's a snappy dresser but who scowls the best? 1.1667 0.05761 54 46 7 1
5007 Come on, Henry, you’ll like Buster’s class. You make new friends and get treats every week! 1.1667 0.05119 54 45 9 0
5008 Now be a good boy like your big brother. 1.1667 0.05119 54 45 9 0
5009 C'mon, Mr. Fluffer, tell us where you buried Skylar's laptop. 1.1667 0.05761 54 46 7 1
5010 Now can YOU be a good Little Lord Fauntleroy like Fido? Can you? Can you? There's a good boy... 1.1667 0.05761 54 46 7 1
5011 Why can't I train you?? 1.1667 0.05119 54 45 9 0
5012 Alright, Bobby, you can take Rex to your obedience class today”. 1.1667 0.05119 54 45 9 0
5013 Not true. Obedience school did not turn your brother into a dog. 1.1667 0.05761 54 46 7 1
5014 You’d be a good boy too, if only you were properly house-trained like little Milo here! 1.1667 0.05761 54 46 7 1
5015 You’ll understand when you’re older; but I’m marrying the dog because she proposed to me first. 1.1667 0.06339 54 47 5 2
5016 Please don't take me literally. When I said you're in the dog house, I didn't mean you would have to sleep with our lovable, adorable, well behaved Fido. 1.1667 0.05761 54 46 7 1
5017 Don't be jealous, he ask me to order it and I just couldn't say "no." 1.1667 0.05761 54 46 7 1
5018 Come on - the doggies on parade show won't be that bad! 1.1667 0.05761 54 46 7 1
5019 One more time, Billy! You will get to poopy outside just like Flash when you finish obedience school! 1.1667 0.05761 54 46 7 1
5020 wow a meeting in the cloud. 1.1667 0.05119 54 45 9 0
5021 C'mon Bobby. We all have our talents and cute as a button isnt yours! 1.1667 0.05761 54 46 7 1
5022 I want to be on THE RIGHT SIDE> 1.1667 0.04852 60 50 10 0
5023 Bobby, remember how I said you need to go along to get along?" 1.1667 0.04852 60 50 10 0
5024 . . . bt it was the last one in his size. 1.1667 0.05761 54 46 7 1
5025 You can play fetch with your new stepmom AND your step-brother. 1.1667 0.05761 54 46 7 1
5026 You know the rules... Only one of us can afford to dress nice. That's why the dog wears Armani and we wear Value Village. 1.1667 0.06339 54 47 5 2
5027 Listen son, our dog has learned how to dress himself... the least you can do is tidy your room, mow the lawn and, wash my car for me! 1.1667 0.06339 54 47 5 2
5028 Oh Dad,why does it have to be a man’s best friend ? 1.1667 0.05403 60 51 8 1
5029 Listen, if your mother put out as much as that other bitch you'd have a little suit too. 1.1667 0.06339 54 47 5 2
5030 i don’t know, bud. we’re in Midtown, and i’ve built my whole life around never shitting in Midtown. uh, i guess, squat by that Au Bon Pain. if anybody gives you hell, lock eyes, look super ashamed, and insist that kids and dogs are actually the same. 1.1667 0.06339 54 47 5 2
5031 I can put you both on a leash again? 1.1667 0.04852 60 50 10 0
5032 I said formal attire. Are you daft? This is why I love the dog more than you. 1.1667 0.05761 54 46 7 1
5033 I know that outfit makes you want to punch him, but how would you feel if you had to wear it? 1.1667 0.05119 54 45 9 0
5034 Go fetch Rex's Hush Puppies, boy. 1.1667 0.05761 54 46 7 1
5035 It's too dangerous for you to go out! He just has a doggy birthday party and I'm chaperoning him. 1.1667 0.05119 54 45 9 0
5036 Since you don't go to school anymore and doggy has been so well behaved, unlike, (ahem), some other individuals, it seemed only appropriate to give doggy your school uniform. 1.1667 0.05119 54 45 9 0
5037 It is ok Tim,you can try next year to be a good boy. 1.1667 0.05119 54 45 9 0
5038 That's okay, Son. When you're older, I'll tell you about some of the mistakes I've made in the past. 1.1667 0.05119 54 45 9 0
5039 That bark was OK but with practice you'll get much better. Just work with Sparky and he'll get you up to speed on it. 1.1667 0.05119 54 45 9 0
5040 YOU wanted YOUR tail docked because of the kids at school and now you don't want to take a walk with your little brother? Then ask Santa Claus to bring ya a new one, ya little whiner... 1.1667 0.05761 54 46 7 1
5041 It's called herd immunity, and you will thank me one day 1.1667 0.05761 54 46 7 1
5042 Now Davey,you need to behave much better, like Mr. Sprinkles here, or we'll have to put your collar back on and put you back in your doghouse! 1.1667 0.05119 54 45 9 0
5043 Face it, the ROI on obedience school is greater than that fancy pants school mom wanted to send you to 1.1667 0.05119 54 45 9 0
5044 I know you’re upset Timmy, but we could only afford to send your brother to private school. 1.1667 0.05761 54 46 7 1
5045 Spruce up your appearance, and I'll take you for a walk, too! 1.1667 0.05119 54 45 9 0
5046 I know, he does get a lot of attention, but Mommy and Daddy love you too. 1.1667 0.05119 54 45 9 0
5047 Marley is such a good boy. Now we'll enroll you in obedience training with him, Bobby! 1.1667 0.05119 54 45 9 0
5048 Alright now here we go just as planned. You’re going to go live upstate while I pretend this dog is you and see how long it will take to drive you mother insane 1.1667 0.05119 54 45 9 0
5049 Don't be mad, son! I'm sure those dog treats are good for little boys too. 1.1667 0.05403 60 51 8 1
5050 You see, son, the reason he gets to go to private school and you don't is because you are too dumb to pass the entrance exam. 1.1667 0.05761 54 46 7 1
5051 You need to respect your elders because in dog years he’s 28. Get over it ! 1.1667 0.05761 54 46 7 1
5052 Sorry, Dad, doggie treats just don’t cut it with me! 1.1667 0.04766 54 47 6 1
5053 This is my family! 1.1667 0.05761 54 46 7 1
5054 Imagine Billy's confusion and resentment at being told HE was the adopted one. 1.1667 0.05761 54 46 7 1
5055 C,mon now Palmer. Tell Bruce you’re sorry. 1.1667 0.05761 54 46 7 1
5056 Walter, little tantrums like this are the reason Scruffy is getting the Obedience Award at school tonight, and not you... 1.1667 0.06339 54 47 5 2
5057 Well, her babysitter application did mention she was a dog-person 1.1667 0.05119 54 45 9 0
5058 Tommy, be nice to your brother, he's such a good boy!! 1.1667 0.05119 54 45 9 0
5059 Don’t be jealous, Tommy; dogs get to start high school at age two. 1.1667 0.05119 54 45 9 0
5060 As soon as you learn to fetch, you'll get a suit too! 1.1667 0.04852 60 50 10 0
5061 Billy, Gooboo dresses for success you should learn from him" 1.1667 0.06339 54 47 5 2
5062 It's ok Billy, you can still walk on all fours if you want! Fido just didn't want to get his new suit dirty. 1.1667 0.05761 54 46 7 1
5063 When you’re older you can have your own bowl on the floor. Until then, leave Sparky’s bowl alone. 1.1667 0.05119 54 45 9 0
5064 Billy, don’t be like that. It doesn’t matter that Rex looks better in a suit than you do. 1.1667 0.05119 54 45 9 0
5065 Sorry little dude, I meant to say "good growth mindset" not "good boy." 1.1667 0.05761 54 46 7 1
5066 Come on, come on apologize. He’s your Covid companion and here to stay. 1.1667 0.05119 54 45 9 0
5067 Look! You can both stand on two feet! 1.1667 0.05119 54 45 9 0
5068 You’ll love the obedience school, Zach. Look what it’s done for Max! 1.1667 0.05119 54 45 9 0
5069 Why can't you be as well behaved as your Brother? 1.1667 0.04852 60 50 10 0
5070 Stop being such a weinie!! 1.1667 0.05761 54 46 7 1
5071 Don't be angry, I promise we will go to the dog park afterwards. 1.1667 0.05761 54 46 7 1
5072 Hey, don't be upset but Rex here, obeys, sits, heels and shakes...all the things I wanted you to do....and he loves me unconditionally. 1.1667 0.05119 54 45 9 0
5073 Dad, stop infantilizing me. I’m not your pet project! 1.1667 0.05761 54 46 7 1
5074 He straightened up when I told him I would whip his tail. 1.1667 0.05403 60 51 8 1
5075 Can’t we just think of Fritz as our best friend, and get along? 1.1667 0.05903 60 52 6 2
5076 Why don’t you be a good boy like your brother? 1.1667 0.05119 54 45 9 0
5077 See? Potty training isn't that hard? 1.1667 0.05403 60 51 8 1
5078 Son I know you're upset, but I think deep down I've always been a person who dresses their dogs up 1.1667 0.05761 54 46 7 1
5079 Where's my treat for finding your golf ball ? 1.1667 0.05119 54 45 9 0
5080 Yes, he bit. But his bark is worse. 1.1667 0.05119 54 45 9 0
5081 Be good like your brother. 1.1667 0.05119 54 45 9 0
5082 You agreed to the adoption and now HE gets a brother 1.1667 0.05403 60 51 8 1
5083 I never saw a use for one of those kid leashes until now... 1.1667 0.05761 54 46 7 1
5084 Don't you remember when Mom,you and I had that conversation about inclusiveness. 1.1667 0.05119 54 45 9 0
5085 Be nice. Look what a good boy Sparky is. 1.1667 0.05119 54 45 9 0
5086 Your friend invited you for supper. 1.1667 0.05119 54 45 9 0
5087 Who-oo-oo's a good boy? 1.1667 0.04852 60 50 10 0
5088 I know that you want a brother, Rex will have to do. 1.1667 0.05119 54 45 9 0
5089 Fetching is an excellent beginning, Oliver, but there's more than that to being a good boy. 1.1667 0.05761 54 46 7 1
5090 See? I told you I have a puppy, and my windowless van is real too. 1.1667 0.05761 54 46 7 1
5091 Brett, not another tantrum. Why can’t you be more like Ruth? 1.1667 0.05119 54 45 9 0
5092 Look who followed me home! 1.1667 0.05119 54 45 9 0
5093 he's my best friend your just my son" 1.1667 0.04852 60 50 10 0
5094 I'm sorry, Timmy, but the family vlogging scene is so oversaturated that we have to get creative with our personal brand, and this attitude of yours is going to make us lose sponsors. 1.1667 0.05761 54 46 7 1
5095 Now legally, one of these things is not like the other: rescuing, fostering, adopting. Try again. 1.1667 0.05119 54 45 9 0
5096 Hey buddy, it's OK! We'll send you to finishing school next year." 1.1667 0.06339 54 47 5 2
5097 So you failed at fetching, it’s a hard class. Maybe now you will let your brother teach you a few tricks. 1.1667 0.05761 54 46 7 1
5098 Hey, don't be mad. I told you not to bite your brother. 1.1667 0.05403 60 51 8 1
5099 That's just how Pickles says hello. Go ahead and sniff his butt before you hurt his feelings. 1.1667 0.05119 54 45 9 0
5100 If you don't start acting cute for Instagram,I'll be forced to give your overtime to Buddy here. I encourage you to look over your contract again. 1.1667 0.05761 54 46 7 1
5101 Your speciesism was adorable when you are a baby, but if you want to be a big boy you are going to deal with you brother in the proper ethical and moral register required by the realities of the anthropoceene. 1.1667 0.05119 54 45 9 0
5102 That's ok, you can come too! 1.1667 0.05761 54 46 7 1
5103 I promise, Timmy. I could never love him more than I love you. 1.1667 0.05403 60 51 8 1
5104 Don't worry. You are better suited for the outdoors. 1.1667 0.05761 54 46 7 1
5105 Now, Johnny, this is the president of the United States. 1.1667 0.06339 54 47 5 2
5106 You think you're mad now? Just wait'll you find out I'm just a bunch of starlings in a mansuit. Crazy, right? 1.1667 0.05119 54 45 9 0
5107 It’s okay Timmy, Scout was born to be a good boy 1.1667 0.05761 54 46 7 1
5108 ..It’s like “Sophie’s Choice” but with divorce lawyers filing in for the bad guys. 1.1667 0.05761 54 46 7 1
5109 But, you're my best friend 1.1667 0.05119 54 45 9 0
5110 Probably not a lot of fetch but when I heard that he has the same tailor as Jude Law, I mean, c’mon. 1.1667 0.05119 54 45 9 0
5111 This is your new brother and he's a dog and he's going to get all your fancy clothes when you outgrow them. 1.1667 0.06339 54 47 5 2
5112 Now, you know you lost the bet, so you have to fetch this time. 1.1667 0.05403 60 51 8 1
5113 Be nice son, Bo didn’t mind when you started raising your leg to pee. 1.1667 0.05119 54 45 9 0
5114 Like it or not Timmy, Fido will help us win this year's World Series at Vegas! 1.1667 0.06339 54 47 5 2
5115 He's only here for the summer, and he's dressed that way because he's a little British dandy who could use a smack 1.1667 0.05761 54 46 7 1
5116 He's the new dog and I want you to be nice. 1.1667 0.05903 60 52 6 2
5117 Why aren't can you be a good boy like him?! 1.1667 0.05403 60 51 8 1
5118 Back to normal! 1.1667 0.05403 60 51 8 1
5119 I hope now you realize how insensitive 'ain't nothin' but a hound dog' is. 1.1667 0.05119 54 45 9 0
5120 Try the Beanie approach. Devotion and goodwill, could help with your situation. 1.1667 0.05761 54 46 7 1
5121 Don't be jealous of your brother. It's not his fault that he looks much cuter than you in your hand-me-downs. 1.1667 0.05119 54 45 9 0
5122 No tribalism. Do NOT act like adults!" 1.1667 0.05119 54 45 9 0
5123 What's to be jealous about? It's the only thing the thrift shop had in his size. 1.1667 0.05119 54 45 9 0
5124 Be nice and hold my hand... don’t make me take the leach out. 1.1667 0.05761 54 46 7 1
5125 Remember, Daddy always says dress for the job you want, not for the job you have. Now congratulate your newly promoted older brother. 1.1667 0.05119 54 45 9 0
5126 Lift that finger and I’ll send you to obedience school instead. 1.1667 0.05119 54 45 9 0
5127 You don’t get this in the virtual world, do you? 1.1667 0.05119 54 45 9 0
5128 See this is why Fido is the good boy 1.1667 0.05119 54 45 9 0
5129 And when you stop weeing on the floor, you'll get a new outfit, too. 1.1667 0.05761 54 46 7 1
5130 ...awww Dad you believe the Dog dressed in human clothing and not me? 1.1667 0.05761 54 46 7 1
5131 I promise Billy , I don’t have favorites! I love you both the same! 1.1667 0.05903 60 52 6 2
5132 Look at Oscar, he is trying to apologize for playing with your ball. Now be a good brother and share. 1.1667 0.05761 54 46 7 1
5133 While the anger and frustration are provided with hands, the docile gets handed over. 1.1667 0.05119 54 45 9 0
5134 Because I registered both of you in Trump University and it’s only till our class action checks arrive. 1.1667 0.05761 54 46 7 1
5135 Let's be Frank 1.1667 0.05119 54 45 9 0
5136 I know he’s getting more attention than you son, but the fact is he’s cuter wearing the nicer clothes and won’t get ice cream on them! 1.1667 0.05761 54 46 7 1
5137 What's that crap he's 21 dad? we're both 3 years old. 1.1667 0.05119 54 45 9 0
5138 Kid, you know that we need both you and this dressed up puppy to appeal to ALL audiences! 1.1667 0.05403 60 51 8 1
5139 Chin up Scott, a trip to the peanut butter factory could be fun! Plus it is little Winston’s turn to pick the vacation spot 1.1667 0.05761 54 46 7 1
5140 Maybe you’ll get the promotion next time but Buster was the employee of the month 10 times in 2020! 1.1667 0.05119 54 45 9 0
5141 Your little bro Gus prefers, “it/they,” and you’re gonna have to learn TJ respect that just like your mom and I did. 1.1667 0.05119 54 45 9 0
5142 This next level dog training may have worked a bit too well — be a good boy, Timmy, and you’ll get a treat, too! 1.1667 0.05119 54 45 9 0
5143 C'mon Billy, who's a good boy, who's a good boy... 1.1667 0.05761 54 46 7 1
5144 Brian, you know a sum of $600 per "child dependent" does go to the family's share in a second stimulus check. You’ll need to share your room. 1.1667 0.06339 54 47 5 2
5145 Sorry Junior, this is the best play date I could find during quarantine..he’s covid-negative all the time 1.1667 0.05119 54 45 9 0
5146 In which young Donny, in the springtime of his insecurity, decides that everyone who steals his spotlight shall henceforth be called a dog. 1.1667 0.05761 54 46 7 1
5147 Maybe one day you’ll be my favorite but until then, can you please just be nice to your brother 1.1667 0.05761 54 46 7 1
5148 Balto will play with you later. He has a very important meeting with Dr. Fauci about delivering these vaccines. 1.1667 0.05761 54 46 7 1
5149 It’s your responsibility to walk Little Lord Fauntleroy. 1.1667 0.05119 54 45 9 0
5150 He’s gonna help us get more likes on the Gram! Daddy needs to be an influencer, Timmy 1.1667 0.06868 54 48 3 3
5151 ‘Come on, get out of those 2020 sweats. We finally get to visit grandma now that we are all vaccinated.’ 1.1667 0.05761 54 46 7 1
5152 Equality should not be compared by the shape of its objects. Now... give me a smile! You know how grandma doesn't like to be cried at! 1.1667 0.05761 54 46 7 1
5153 We’ve decided to send only one of you to private school. Sorry... we chose Rufus. 1.1667 0.05761 54 46 7 1
5154 My dear boy, if this year taught me something, then it's that there's no difference between us, if not they are more loyal and famous on instagram too. 1.1667 0.05761 54 46 7 1
5155 You see son, stop your tantrums and go to school like him! He is willing to get a pedigree, see?? 1.1667 0.05761 54 46 7 1
5156 The only difference between you and Dan here is that he knows not to swallow his chewing gum. 1.1667 0.05119 54 45 9 0
5157 Well, Billy, if *you* were a good boy, then you could have worn these fancy clothes. 1.1667 0.05119 54 45 9 0
5158 Easy now boy, we’ll get you the kibbles after I fix the Switchabody. 1.1667 0.05761 54 46 7 1
5159 You were good boi too, but he fetches my mail. 1.1667 0.04852 60 50 10 0
5160 Hey buddy, you don’t have to let being a rescue hold you back either!. 1.1667 0.05403 60 51 8 1
5161 Look, we donated your college fund to Trumps legal defense fund. Now we can only afford a dog school. You’ll understand one day! 1.1667 0.06339 54 47 5 2
5162 I don’t have to ask Spot twice to put on HIS good suit 1.1667 0.05119 54 45 9 0
5163 At first it was just a plain chocolate cookie. Then some genius smeared oil with sugar on it. AND THEN I came up with topping it with a second cookie. Now let's go get your mother's ashes. 1.1667 0.05119 54 45 9 0
5164 Technically, your brother is thirty six in dog years, so of course he could pee in that bush if he wanted to! 1.1667 0.05119 54 45 9 0
5165 Don’t worry son, we can refer to you as an ‘it’ if you like! 1.1667 0.06339 54 47 5 2
5166 And now, the brutal psychological evaluation begins: which one of you is the good boy? 1.1667 0.05119 54 45 9 0
5167 Can you please put on the suit Timmy, twins are supposed to dress the same! 1.1667 0.05119 54 45 9 0
5168 With all due respect to #StuartLittle “You know, you're the one acting strange. What is it, worms? Fleas?” 1.1667 0.05761 54 46 7 1
5169 You're not mad right? It fits him better anyway. 1.1639 0.05321 61 52 8 1
5170 If only you were such good a boy... 1.1639 0.05811 61 53 6 2
5171 Rescue dog” means he’s here, you’re gone. I’m rescued. What don’t you get! 1.1639 0.05811 61 53 6 2
5172 Well, at least he is longer eating your homework! 1.1639 0.05321 61 52 8 1
5173 Give your Pa that paw. Who’s a good boy? 1.1639 0.05811 61 53 6 2
5174 Relax...she's adopted. 1.1639 0.05321 61 52 8 1
5175 If you're not nice to your brother, he might bite you. 1.1639 0.04779 61 51 10 0
5176 Which one of you made that mess in the corner? I don't want to have to punish you both. 1.1639 0.05321 61 52 8 1
5177 Just cause he is my best friend doesn't mean you're the disfavoured son. 1.1639 0.04779 61 51 10 0
5178 When you learn to sit, you can go to school with Teddy! 1.1639 0.04779 61 51 10 0
5179 Son, don’t be too ruff on him. 1.1639 0.04779 61 51 10 0
5180 Don't be grumpy, see Teddy is joining online class too. 1.1639 0.05321 61 52 8 1
5181 It's ok, I don't love either of you! 1.1639 0.05811 61 53 6 2
5182 Max goes in the potty...! 1.1639 0.04779 61 51 10 0
5183 I love the dog more than you. 1.1639 0.04779 61 51 10 0
5184 You can be dad’s best friend too...when you start dressing like a stand up individual 1.1639 0.05811 61 53 6 2
5185 You wanted a dog for Christmas. Jason is a freelancer. He will be your good boy during the holidays. 1.1639 0.04779 61 51 10 0
5186 Be a good boi, eat your Friskies like your brother 1.1639 0.05321 61 52 8 1
5187 We’ve messed up, Timmy. It’s for pawsterity 1.1639 0.05321 61 52 8 1
5188 Doggone it Donnie, Joe Joe is ready to go to the Inauguration and he's not bitching! 1.1636 0.05034 55 46 9 0
5189 Hey, it's okay that you'll never be a purebred like Winston. 1.1636 0.05034 55 46 9 0
5190 But Donald, we took a vote, you lost 1.1636 0.05034 55 46 9 0
5191 Because he's my best friend and you're not. 1.1636 0.05034 55 46 9 0
5192 I decided for 2021 you’re going to switch roles with Buddy and be the family pet. 1.1636 0.05664 55 47 7 1
5193 Johnson, I've told you before, you can start coming to family functions when you are housetrained like the dog. 1.1636 0.05034 55 46 9 0
5194 See how well behaved your brother is? 1.1636 0.05664 55 47 7 1
5195 C'mon - who's a good boy? 1.1636 0.05664 55 47 7 1
5196 Why can’t you be a good boy like Mr. Wiggles, here?? 1.1636 0.05034 55 46 9 0
5197 The often cited, yet controversial “Who is most embarrassed” psychological experiment. 1.1636 0.05664 55 47 7 1
5198 Why can’t you be a good boy like your brother, Pierre? 1.1636 0.06230 55 48 5 2
5199 See, I didn’t mean you look bad! Your clothes really have gone to the dogs. 1.1636 0.05034 55 46 9 0
5200 Sorry, bud. The vote for who can come to 'Show Your Kid in the Background Day' was unanimous. 1.1636 0.05664 55 47 7 1
5201 You'll always have your Nike's 1.1636 0.05034 55 46 9 0
5202 If you want to go to Obedience School. You have to wear a uniform too. 1.1636 0.05034 55 46 9 0
5203 As the song says, 'He's not heavy, he's your brother.' 1.1636 0.05664 55 47 7 1
5204 It will be fine Billy - he will be around to eat your homework. 1.1636 0.05664 55 47 7 1
5205 Don't worry, doggy daycare will be just as fun! 1.1636 0.05034 55 46 9 0
5206 If you want to drink out of the toilet then you’ve got to wear a suit too. 1.1636 0.06230 55 48 5 2
5207 Come on son, it’s time we saw the world from the dog’s eyes. 1.1636 0.05034 55 46 9 0
5208 He wears is better, I don’t know what to tell you kiddo. 1.1636 0.05664 55 47 7 1
5209 This is called dressing for the job you want. 1.1636 0.05664 55 47 7 1
5210 You’ll also get a suit when you’re potty trained. 1.1636 0.05664 55 47 7 1
5211 No caption needed! 1.1636 0.05664 55 47 7 1
5212 Who’s a good boy? Huh? Who’s a good boy? Do you want to go for a ride in the car? 1.1636 0.05034 55 46 9 0
5213 You already have your sisters hand-me-downs, I’m not buying you a new ball. 1.1636 0.05034 55 46 9 0
5214 Rufus stayed at home all year like a good boy 1.1636 0.05664 55 47 7 1
5215 Why does HE get to wear pajamas to the park? 1.1636 0.05664 55 46 7 1
5216 He’s a real boy now too. 1.1636 0.05664 55 47 7 1
5217 Look Theodore, even Skippy here can wear a suit and look badass! 1.1633 0.05335 49 41 8 0
5218 Honey, I didn't forget about you! 1.1633 0.05335 49 41 8 0
5219 Sorry Jayden, you’re just too underdressed to go to the off-leash. 1.1618 0.04499 68 57 11 0
5220 I miss your mom too. 1.1613 0.04709 62 52 10 0
5221 Aw, c ‘mon, be a good doggie like your brother! 1.1613 0.04709 62 52 10 0
5222 Scoop your own poop 1.1613 0.05723 62 54 6 2
5223 When you learn to fetch, you can be a good boy too. 1.1613 0.04709 62 52 10 0
5224 Don't even tell me that Dash dug that hole in the yard. 1.1613 0.05241 62 53 8 1
5225 Attaboy! 1.1613 0.05723 62 54 6 2
5226 Next time you punch him. 1.1613 0.05723 62 54 6 2
5227 Johnny, when you are six, you can have a suit just like Lucky. 1.1613 0.05241 62 53 8 1
5228 First, we'll loot and burn the Capitol Building. Then, we'll go to McDonald's! Don't tell mom. 1.1613 0.04709 62 52 10 0
5229 Well, Donald, would you rather that we name you Little Lord Fauntleroy? 1.1613 0.05723 62 54 6 2
5230 Your mother isn't coming back, so I am marrying the dog. Love is Love! 1.1613 0.04709 62 52 10 0
5231 ‘Paw!’ 1.1613 0.05241 62 53 8 1
5232 We’ll discuss this at home. 1.1613 0.05241 62 53 8 1
5233 He needs no shoes, indeed. 1.1613 0.05241 62 53 8 1
5234 Now now.. you'd get big boy clothes too if you were potty trained 1.1613 0.05241 62 53 8 1
5235 It's really okay that he was potty trained before you" 1.1607 0.05569 56 48 7 1
5236 Sorry, Johnny. I haven't been able to say "Good Boy" to you for a long time, as I have said to Fido. 1.1607 0.05569 56 48 7 1
5237 Behave or we’ll take you back to the kennel. 1.1607 0.05569 56 48 7 1
5238 That’s not true! Your mother and I love both of you equally. 1.1600 0.05237 50 42 8 0
5239 C’mon. You said you were tired of being an only child. 1.1600 0.05966 50 43 6 1
5240 I wish you could be more like your brother 1.1600 0.05237 50 42 8 0
5241 She was here before you were. Show some respect. 1.1600 0.05966 50 43 6 1
5242 Now you BOTH can go to daycare! 1.1600 0.05966 50 43 6 1
5243 Next time you can wear a designer suit just like Fido. 1.1587 0.04641 63 53 10 0
5244 Oh come on, you are also my little SOB. 1.1587 0.05163 63 54 8 1
5245 Red, I promise you're not adopted either! 1.1587 0.04641 63 53 10 0
5246 I thought you always wanted a little brother ! 1.1587 0.04641 63 53 10 0
5247 I don’t think you’re really trying to make Graham feel like part of the family. 1.1587 0.04641 63 53 10 0
5248 The dog days have just begun! 1.1587 0.04641 63 53 10 0
5249 You are my favorite son,son. 1.1587 0.04641 63 53 10 0
5250 Don't worry - in human years, you're also doing very well. 1.1587 0.05163 63 54 8 1
5251 Don't be cranky, buddy. You know he's your elder. 1.1587 0.05163 63 54 8 1
5252 Good boy... Bad dog! 1.1587 0.04641 63 53 10 0
5253 Someday soon, when you're house-trained 1.1587 0.05163 63 54 8 1
5254 ...But you're still my favorite human-son! 1.1587 0.04641 63 53 10 0
5255 It's just not fair. He went to obedience school. 1.1562 0.04575 64 54 10 0
5256 Someday when you’re a man, you can have a best friend, too. 1.1562 0.05088 64 55 8 1
5257 We both know Tuesdays are for Tina 1.1562 0.04575 64 54 10 0
5258 Son... you're a-dog-ted 1.1538 0.05052 52 44 8 0
5259 He will take you for walk every day if you are a good boy. 1.1538 0.05750 52 45 6 1
5260 Be a good boy! Just like that bitch over there. 1.1538 0.06372 52 46 4 2
5261 It might seem unfair but you don't earn treats for standing on two legs 1.1538 0.05052 52 44 8 0
5262 Well, one of you's a good boy. 1.1538 0.05052 52 44 8 0
5263 It's okay, lots of Daddys went insane this year. 1.1538 0.05052 52 44 8 0
5264 Relax, Toby. You can walk her to school next year. 1.1538 0.05052 52 44 8 0
5265 You see, Spike doesn't have to social distance at the park 1.1538 0.05052 52 44 8 0
5266 Oh John, be nice to your half sister. If a she bites you, are you gonna bit back? 1.1538 0.05750 52 45 6 1
5267 If you’re good you can also get a biscuit 1.1538 0.05052 52 44 8 0
5268 Don't whine! At least he can't give you covid 1.1538 0.05750 52 45 6 1
5269 Our dog is not my little brother. He's the dog dad! 1.1538 0.05750 52 45 6 1
5270 Now be nice and say, “Hi” to your new brother Napoleon. 1.1538 0.05052 52 44 8 0
5271 Perhaps if I had invested as much in training you, you'd be as well-behaved as Rover here. 1.1538 0.05750 52 45 6 1
5272 Now be a good boy like your brother. We ARE going for a walk! 1.1538 0.05052 52 44 8 0
5273 Why, yes, I am a writer. 1.1538 0.05052 52 44 8 0
5274 Billy, meet your new sister. 1.1538 0.05052 52 44 8 0
5275 When we see wrongs in the world, we try to right them. 1.1538 0.05052 52 44 8 0
5276 You still have a much more diversified diet then he does, and are far better toilet trained. 1.1538 0.06372 52 46 4 2
5277 But I don't have the elegant suit-- UNFAIR! 1.1538 0.05750 52 45 6 1
5278 Hey, buddy! Scampers won the coin toss this time, but you're still my right-hand guy. 1.1538 0.05052 52 44 8 0
5279 You're way uglier than your sister 1.1538 0.05052 52 44 8 0
5280 So listen, he might be a bit of a pug, so be nice. 1.1538 0.05750 52 45 6 1
5281 You know that Edgar is a service animal. 1.1538 0.05750 52 45 6 1
5282 Do you wanna go outside boy?! 1.1538 0.05052 52 44 8 0
5283 If he can go barefoot, why can't I? 1.1538 0.05750 52 45 6 1
5284 It's ok. Work hard enough and next year you too may be eligible to take AP Fetching 1.1538 0.05052 52 44 8 0
5285 Let's try parallel heel. 1.1538 0.05052 52 44 8 0
5286 But Tommy, you will look as good as Rex when you put on your matching suit. 1.1538 0.05052 52 44 8 0
5287 How uncool! Last week it was Led Zeppelin! 1.1538 0.05052 52 44 8 0
5288 Why can’t you behave yourself like Dexter? 1.1538 0.05052 52 44 8 0
5289 Not to worry, I brought a extra bag for you. Just in case. 1.1538 0.05750 52 45 6 1
5290 Champ won the best-dressed award in his class. So, what did you do in school today? 1.1538 0.05052 52 44 8 0
5291 When you learn to sit and stay, you can have a treat and go for a walk too... 1.1538 0.05750 52 45 6 1
5292 I told you he was a good boy, didn't I? 1.1538 0.05052 52 44 8 0
5293 I'm tired of wearing his paw-me-downs 1.1538 0.05750 52 45 6 1
5294 Obedience school will transform you into a man. Look what it did for Rex. 1.1538 0.05052 52 44 8 0
5295 And if you’re a good boy you’ll get adopted next. 1.1538 0.05052 52 44 8 0
5296 Perhaps you need obedience school more than Frodo. 1.1538 0.05052 52 43 8 0
5297 Don't be jealous just because I said your little brother is pawfect. 1.1538 0.05052 52 44 8 0
5298 I wanted the suit... understand? I wanted the suit! 1.1538 0.05052 52 44 8 0
5299 Don't think of him as a pet. Think of him as your better self. 1.1538 0.05750 52 45 6 1
5300 It's O.K., Bobby. You're housebroken and he's not. 1.1538 0.05052 52 44 8 0
5301 No more sibly rivally. It's be kind to dogs month. 1.1538 0.05052 52 44 8 0
5302 I kept trying to tell her that she was the adopted one - not me! 1.1538 0.05750 52 45 6 1
5303 This should teach you not to follow in a dog's foot prints. 1.1538 0.05052 52 44 8 0
5304 Man's Best Friend" is what we call a 'common phrase' son 1.1538 0.05750 52 45 6 1
5305 Your still my best boy. It's just that he's no longer the underdog. 1.1538 0.05052 52 44 8 0
5306 Don’t be such a bitch. 1.1538 0.05052 52 44 8 0
5307 C'mon Joey, cheer up. Those clothes won't fit you. 1.1538 0.05750 52 45 6 1
5308 It’s ok Johnny Phil here is Upset to over the situation in the family too. 1.1538 0.05052 52 44 8 0
5309 Your brother is just better at fetch than you. 1.1538 0.05052 52 44 8 0
5310 Alright now, let's keep it clean, no shots below the collar. 1.1538 0.05052 52 44 8 0
5311 He has a suit because we love him more. 1.1538 0.05052 52 44 8 0
5312 When you get to be a man, he will be your best friend! 1.1538 0.05052 52 44 8 0
5313 Now be a good boy and go fetch daddy's paper. 1.1538 0.05750 52 45 6 1
5314 Don’t worry, the second born will get something... 1.1538 0.05750 52 45 6 1
5315 We will never stop loving you. 1.1538 0.05052 52 44 8 0
5316 Ease up Billy, he was tops in the gifted and talented class at dog obedience school. 1.1538 0.05052 52 44 8 0
5317 Buddy, I’m sorry, but that coat is just a finders-keepers situation. 1.1538 0.05052 52 44 8 0
5318 No, you're still my number One son. 1.1538 0.05052 52 44 8 0
5319 You need to make up with your brother, Tim! I know he ate your shoe but he loves you. 1.1538 0.05750 52 45 6 1
5320 Heel, I said. Heel! 1.1538 0.05052 52 44 8 0
5321 C'mon now, be nice to your brother. 1.1538 0.05052 52 44 8 0
5322 I know you are angry,and for budget reasons,I hope you can attend the same school. 1.1538 0.05052 52 44 8 0
5323 You know I love you both equally, XAE A-12. 1.1538 0.05052 52 44 8 0
5324 He eats his liver and lima beans, too. 1.1538 0.05750 52 45 6 1
5325 Nothing wrong being an underdog. 1.1538 0.05052 52 44 8 0
5326 Obedience school did wonders for your brother. You? 1.1538 0.05750 52 45 6 1
5327 Now, Jimmy. You outgrew that outfit. Remember? 1.1538 0.05052 52 44 8 0
5328 Hey, look on the bright side...you don’t get handed down his clothes! 1.1538 0.05052 52 44 8 0
5329 Don't worry. You have another three years until puppies take over the cuteness factor. 1.1538 0.05750 52 45 6 1
5330 Wait until you're a man. Then he'll be your best friend. 1.1538 0.05750 52 45 6 1
5331 Ricky, don’t act like that. Your suit doesn’t fit you anymore! Learn to share. 1.1538 0.05052 52 44 8 0
5332 You don’t need a tailor. You have no tail. 1.1538 0.05750 52 45 6 1
5333 Kids, there are plenty of “how to fake happiness during quarantine” on google, let’s hop on! 1.1538 0.05052 52 44 8 0
5334 Give Binky his bowtie back. Mom likes it better on him. 1.1538 0.05052 52 44 8 0
5335 I’m tired of sharing all my belongings with a second class citizen. 1.1538 0.05750 52 45 6 1
5336 Look on the bright side. You got hand-me-downs and Corky didn't. 1.1538 0.05052 52 44 8 0
5337 You should watch Fido if you want to up your obedience game. 1.1538 0.05750 52 45 6 1
5338 Be a good boy 1.1538 0.05750 52 45 6 1
5339 And as soon as you're housebroken you'll get to wear short pants, too. 1.1538 0.05052 52 44 8 0
5340 He's only an immigrant in our house. He was born in America. 1.1538 0.05750 52 45 6 1
5341 Of course it’s not fair you don’t have a paw ... 1.1538 0.05750 52 45 6 1
5342 Chin up, Hobbie, you're my second best friend. 1.1538 0.05750 52 45 6 1
5343 Wait til you see what we got your sister. 1.1538 0.05052 52 44 8 0
5344 the boy is mad he can't get a balloon 1.1538 0.05052 52 44 8 0
5345 And if you learn to keep your clothes clean you’ll get a treat too. 1.1538 0.05052 52 44 8 0
5346 Of course he doesn't need to wear a mask, he's a dog! 1.1538 0.05052 52 44 8 0
5347 Remember son a dog is a man's best friend 1.1538 0.05052 52 44 8 0
5348 I gave him your hound-me-downs. 1.1538 0.05750 52 45 6 1
5349 We’re so pleased that we are sending you to obedience school. 1.1538 0.05750 52 45 6 1
5350 He beat you in the Electoral College. Now shake his paw. 1.1538 0.05052 52 44 8 0
5351 You'll poop in the lawn one day too 1.1538 0.05052 52 44 8 0
5352 And I'll never have to pay for Scottie's college either. 1.1538 0.05750 52 45 6 1
5353 Now,honey,if you were as good as a dog in a suit,we wouldn’t have a dog in a suit, would we? 1.1538 0.05052 52 44 8 0
5354 Of course this is your brother. Now just stay here while I go searching the city. Stay! 1.1538 0.05052 52 44 8 0
5355 He can’t stop hounding you for obvious reasons. 1.1538 0.05750 52 45 6 1
5356 It’s ok, Tim... a little payback for having always treated him like an animal in the past. 1.1538 0.05052 52 44 8 0
5357 He's not a pet son, he's your new domestic engineer. 1.1538 0.05750 52 45 6 1
5358 The dog is missing his shoes. 1.1538 0.05052 52 44 8 0
5359 If you behave I won’t send you to obedience school! 1.1538 0.05052 52 44 8 0
5360 I know you hid this shoes, but he's not staying home alone" 1.1538 0.05052 52 44 8 0
5361 Daddy, why aren’t you putting Timmy on his leash like you do when I get angry? 1.1538 0.05750 52 45 6 1
5362 Be a good boy and fetch like your half-brother! 1.1538 0.05052 52 44 8 0
5363 Do you want to be impeached? 1.1538 0.06372 52 46 4 2
5364 Do I need to send you to obedience school, too? 1.1538 0.05052 52 44 8 0
5365 ‘Thank the lady who said you would be cute wearing a leash.’ 1.1538 0.05750 52 45 6 1
5366 Looks like your canines have started coming in 1.1538 0.05750 52 45 6 1
5367 I know he isn't the type of teacher you're used to, but at least Waffles is in our pod. 1.1538 0.05052 52 44 8 0
5368 I’m begging you son, for the love of Dog! 1.1538 0.05052 52 44 8 0
5369 See, Gallant doesn't NEED to go outside anymore either. 1.1538 0.06372 52 46 4 2
5370 Boy, don’t be upset. I can only afford a pair of back to school outfit. 1.1538 0.05052 52 44 8 0
5371 Maybe obedient school isn’t for you. 1.1538 0.06372 52 46 4 2
5372 Your almost as behaved as your brother! 1.1538 0.05750 52 45 6 1
5373 Excuse Mr. Pimples for eating your homework. Bobby, you know it's part of his PhD thesis. 1.1538 0.05750 52 45 6 1
5374 That’s good, Tommy- he may be my good boy, but the rage you feel is why YOU’RE my little man 1.1538 0.05750 52 45 6 1
5375 Pet parents are parents too. 1.1538 0.05052 52 44 8 0
5376 It’s time to go to real school Johnny. No more zommies. 1.1538 0.05052 52 44 8 0
5377 We’re grooming him to be president one day 1.1538 0.06372 52 46 4 2
5378 Because he give me professional emotional support, that’s why! 1.1538 0.05052 52 44 8 0
5379 Dont worry Jimmy, your new step brother wont bite 1.1538 0.05052 52 44 8 0
5380 Okay don’t pull and there is a treat for you in the car! 1.1538 0.05052 52 44 8 0
5381 It’s alright son, Daddy’s just trying to keep ‘unprecedented’ in the vernacular. 1.1538 0.05052 52 44 8 0
5382 If you can be a good boy too, we’ll all go out for ice cream! 1.1538 0.05052 52 44 8 0
5383 Why do I have to wear his uniform dad? 1.1538 0.05750 52 45 6 1
5384 « Obedient, innocent and loving, Max was the son Paul would never have. » 1.1538 0.05750 52 45 6 1
5385 Don't worry. We're not going to send you to obedience school. 1.1538 0.05052 52 44 8 0
5386 ‘Good boy’ won’t work on me 1.1538 0.05052 52 44 8 0
5387 Chad,why cant you try to be a good boy like your brother Boxer 1.1538 0.05750 52 45 6 1
5388 No, Tyler. You still can't say son of a bitch. 1.1538 0.05750 52 45 6 1
5389 You're going to love your new baby brother. He's a good boy. A good GOOD boy. 1.1538 0.05750 52 45 6 1
5390 2020 is all about equality 1.1538 0.05750 52 45 6 1
5391 If you don’t behave I’ll put you on the leash! 1.1538 0.05052 52 44 8 0
5392 Paw errr... hand, that’s a good boy 1.1538 0.05750 52 45 6 1
5393 Timmy, you said you said you got our masks before we left the house! 1.1538 0.05750 52 45 6 1
5394 Kid in 2021 always remember. Even an empty glass is full of air! 1.1538 0.05052 52 44 8 0
5395 Thank you for your interest, son, but Kenneth has been chosen as our next Beta. 1.1538 0.05750 52 45 6 1
5396 So anyway, that's why I need to make that insurance claim. 1.1538 0.05750 52 45 6 1
5397 this is not the dogs idea of walkies"! 1.1538 0.05052 52 44 8 0
5398 Say hello to your new fur brother Fred, oh c’mon be nice 1.1538 0.05750 52 45 6 1
5399 I said I wanted a puppy, not a brother 1.1538 0.06372 52 46 4 2
5400 In training 1.1538 0.05750 52 45 6 1
5401 Hey buddy, remember how we said sharing is caring? Its Benji’s turn with the shoes 1.1538 0.05750 52 45 6 1
5402 Sorry, but he’s already house trained 1.1538 0.05052 52 44 8 0
5403 When he gets bigger, you can have HIS hand-me-downs! 1.1538 0.05750 52 45 6 1
5404 There aren’t any small roles, son. Only small actors. 1.1538 0.05750 52 45 6 1
5405 COVID sorry only one suit this year 1.1538 0.05015 65 56 8 1
5406 No, I’m not your other little gentleman. 1.1525 0.05829 59 52 5 2
5407 No, no, Tim. You're not being replaced. Think of Max as your stunt double. 1.1522 0.05354 46 39 7 0
5408 Come on! It won't hurt you to say woof! 1.1522 0.05354 46 39 7 0
5409 Bacon and eggs? 1.1522 0.05354 46 39 7 0
5410 Now, there, there. Who's a good boy? 1.1522 0.05354 46 39 7 0
5411 You are special, son - but I'm Bruce and he's Ringo, so you have to play bass. 1.1522 0.05354 46 39 7 0
5412 What's the matter with Donald? That's a nice name. 1.1522 0.05354 46 39 7 0
5413 C’mon, be nice like Mike. 1.1522 0.05354 46 39 7 0
5414 Learning to share can be fun. 1.1522 0.06191 46 40 5 1
5415 Maybe if you dressed better, you’d get a bone too. 1.1522 0.05354 46 39 7 0
5416 Look, he’s daddy’s best friend...but you’re right up there too pal! 1.1522 0.05354 46 39 7 0
5417 : I rather have a dog, insted a grumpy child... 🙄 1.1522 0.06191 46 40 5 1
5418 Don’t be mad at the dog, Timmy, we wanted him. 1.1522 0.05354 46 39 7 0
5419 It's a two-fer, Myron!" 1.1509 0.04964 53 45 8 0
5420 Donny? Is THAT any way to greet your stepbrother? 1.1509 0.04964 53 45 8 0
5421 Now, Silas, you apologize to your brother, Scraps. Your mother and I didn't raise him as if he was a kid for all those years — forestalling your birth until you became economically and socially feasible — for you to call him a "bitchmade-ass mutt." 1.1509 0.05648 53 46 6 1
5422 See what one week of obedience school can do? 1.1509 0.04964 53 45 8 0
5423 I know you're the special breed, but we need to work on your taste in fashion. 1.1509 0.06258 53 47 4 2
5424 It's not like I asked you to wear a suit. 1.1509 0.04964 53 45 8 0
5425 Meet your brother 1.1509 0.04964 53 45 8 0
5426 If you're a good boy, you can be on the top of the food chain too. 1.1509 0.06258 53 47 4 2
5427 Never fear: I love you just as much as I do the puppy in little-boy clothes. 1.1509 0.06258 53 47 4 2
5428 Next time, I'll buy you a suit too! 1.1509 0.04964 53 45 8 0
5429 Next, we'll all put on our masks. 1.1509 0.05648 53 46 6 1
5430 I love all my children equally, Sam. 1.1509 0.04964 53 45 8 0
5431 You did say you wanted a stand-up dog. 1.1509 0.04964 53 45 8 0
5432 Stop pouting and play poker. 1.1509 0.04964 53 45 8 0
5433 Cheer up! You're Numero Uno until you want your own phone. 1.1509 0.04964 53 45 8 0
5434 I know he doesn't look like a boxer, but he clearly won this round 1.1509 0.04964 53 45 8 0
5435 Don’t pout son, I just joined the sister organization, ASPCC! 1.1509 0.04964 53 45 8 0
5436 Son, meet your great aunt. On your mother's side, of course. 1.1509 0.05648 53 46 6 1
5437 Aw come on, he was just kidding when he called you a cheesy, styleless, ticky-tack. 1.1509 0.04964 53 45 8 0
5438 Relax, it doesn't fit you anymore. 1.1509 0.04964 53 45 8 0
5439 See, Tommy, when you grow up, you can dress your own dog. 1.1509 0.04964 53 45 8 0
5440 But you said you didn’t want a fancy suit. 1.1509 0.05648 53 46 6 1
5441 Now YOU be a good boy. 1.1509 0.05648 53 46 6 1
5442 C'mon, Timmy, don't be such a spoil-sport, just walk on all fours like I taught you. 1.1509 0.04964 53 45 8 0
5443 Meet your foster Brother. We'll put you up for adoption if he works out. 1.1509 0.05648 53 46 6 1
5444 Great news - Mister Woofles is going off to college, while we get to stay here and work on the farm. 1.1509 0.04964 53 45 8 0
5445 Son, he might be a furry but he's still your brother. 1.1509 0.05648 53 46 6 1
5446 Sniffing each other’s behind is not how little boys play Jimmy. 1.1509 0.06258 53 47 4 2
5447 Dogs have feelings too, you know 1.1509 0.05648 53 46 6 1
5448 It's a dog eat dog world out there. So start eating. 1.1509 0.04964 53 45 8 0
5449 You know, he didn’t come with an owner’s manual either. 1.1509 0.05648 53 46 6 1
5450 Just because I love her more,doesn't mean I don't appreciate you. 1.1509 0.04964 53 45 8 0
5451 Kidz these days! Anyways, boys will always be boys!" 1.1509 0.04964 53 45 8 0
5452 Don't call your sibling a dog. 1.1509 0.05648 53 46 6 1
5453 OK, you're not the teacher's pet. 1.1509 0.04964 53 45 8 0
5454 He is your brother from another mother, so try and get along” 1.1509 0.04964 53 45 8 0
5455 You said you didn't want one. 1.1509 0.04964 53 45 8 0
5456 No, no. You'd grown out of your summer suit and now it belongs to Wesley. 1.1509 0.05648 53 46 6 1
5457 Come on Fido, be nice to your little brother. 1.1509 0.04964 53 45 8 0
5458 Dad!!!! It's not a safety harness . . . It's a leash !!!! 1.1509 0.04964 53 45 8 0
5459 ...And you think your mother’s a bitch. 1.1509 0.04964 53 45 8 0
5460 This is what it means, Sammy, to stand on your own two feet. 1.1509 0.04964 53 45 8 0
5461 Go on, roll over for dessert 1.1509 0.05648 53 46 6 1
5462 Toby's a real go-getter, so he gets what he wants. If you want to get what you want, you'll have to bring that kind of energy to your tantrums. 1.1509 0.04964 53 45 8 0
5463 Daddy was always a lil different after quarantine. 1.1509 0.05648 53 46 6 1
5464 Come on Johnny be a good boy now 1.1509 0.04964 53 45 8 0
5465 Everything is fine. This is completely normal. Now tell your sister you love her. 1.1509 0.05648 53 46 6 1
5466 I also received my older brother clothes, don't be upset! 1.1509 0.05648 53 46 6 1
5467 Sorry, I left your leash at home today. 1.1509 0.05648 53 46 6 1
5468 Don't be mad, you are both my sons, and I love you the same 1.1509 0.05648 53 46 6 1
5469 You said it was too itchy 1.1509 0.04964 53 45 8 0
5470 It’s over Don. Now be a good boy and treat others with respect. 1.1509 0.06258 53 47 4 2
5471 Why can’t you be as obedient as your brother? 1.1509 0.05648 53 46 6 1
5472 Maybe I’ll get you pajamas next year if you’re a good boy like Billie here, Fergus. 1.1509 0.04964 53 45 8 0
5473 Your mom dresses you funny 1.1509 0.05648 53 46 6 1
5474 Oh you do know who’s a better boy! c’mon now! 1.1509 0.04964 53 45 8 0
5475 Come on son, put on your suit. We're starting a TikTok" 1.1509 0.04964 53 45 8 0
5476 if 2020 was W.C. Fields 1.1509 0.04964 53 45 8 0
5477 Now Henry, don't be cross. You've always wanted a little brother. 1.1509 0.04964 53 45 8 0
5478 Bark, barkly barkenly woof. Woofenly woof! 1.1509 0.04964 53 45 8 0
5479 It’s just for the TikTok, Billy. Once we go viral, she can go back to being a normal dog. 1.1509 0.05648 53 46 6 1
5480 In another, BETTER world you would be on an equal footing. 1.1489 0.05249 47 40 7 0
5481 Okay, so he gets to play with the fire hydrant. But next week, he’ll be wearing a dress. 1.1489 0.05249 47 40 7 0
5482 now aren't you sorry you wouldn't wear short pants? 1.1489 0.06067 47 41 5 1
5483 Look at what obedience training did for Bobby. 1.1489 0.05249 47 40 7 0
5484 But your Mom and I bred him to be best in class, you have to work at it. 1.1489 0.05249 47 40 7 0
5485 I know you feel jealous, but it didn't come in your size 1.1489 0.05249 47 40 7 0
5486 See? Our puppy isn’t afraid of getting his vaccine” “He wasn’t afraid of his neutering either 1.1489 0.05249 47 40 7 0
5487 Obedience school has a lot to offer. 1.1489 0.05249 47 40 7 0
5488 "There is a reason why he has to wear his pants backward" 1.1489 0.05249 47 40 7 0
5489 Look who's a goo' boy! 1.1489 0.05249 47 40 7 0
5490 Use your bark, Jimmy. 1.1489 0.05249 47 40 7 0
5491 Democracy 1.1489 0.05249 47 40 7 0
5492 It’s OK. Barking in high C takes years of practice. 1.1489 0.05249 47 40 7 0
5493 Now, Donald, just let the dog go to his inauguration. 1.1489 0.05249 47 40 7 0
5494 But you didn’t fetch...and he did. 1.1489 0.05249 47 40 7 0
5495 Okay, maybe he's not your avatar but I believe he qualifies as 'man's best friend'. 1.1481 0.04880 54 46 8 0
5496 This is what happens when you don’t fetch. 1.1481 0.04880 54 46 8 0
5497 Remember he's older than you are. 1.1481 0.05550 54 47 6 1
5498 Elias, who's a good boy? 1.1481 0.04880 54 46 8 0
5499 Billy, please stop calling your stepmother a bitch. 1.1481 0.04880 54 46 8 0
5500 There , there son Someday he'll be a real boy. 1.1481 0.04880 54 46 8 0
5501 I'll only ask you one more time. Who's a good boy? 1.1481 0.05550 54 47 6 1
5502 Not to worry, you'll have a dress-up suit just like your brother's, one of these days. 1.1481 0.05550 54 47 6 1
5503 Next year you can have obedience training too. 1.1481 0.04880 54 46 8 0
5504 Eat you veggies like Rufus and you can get dressed up too. 1.1481 0.04880 54 46 8 0
5505 Dad, I thought I was your best friend. 1.1481 0.05550 54 47 6 1
5506 But he really is your brother... 1.1481 0.05550 54 47 6 1
5507 Nothing a session of retail therapy won't fix 1.1481 0.04880 54 46 8 0
5508 Look, don't be jealous of Buddy. It was your choice to not attend obedience school. 1.1481 0.04880 54 46 8 0
5509 Your brother's not ashamed to poop on the sidewalk, why should you be? 1.1481 0.05550 54 47 6 1
5510 Look Santa misread - puppy instead a little brother . Ow you get he puppy for a little brother 1.1481 0.05550 54 47 6 1
5511 . . . and that's why they're called 'hand-me-downs.' 1.1481 0.04880 54 46 8 0
5512 I know you wanted to play Street Urchin #4 Bobby, but frankly, the dog was more believable. 1.1481 0.04880 54 46 8 0
5513 It’s ok. We can afford his tuition. 1.1481 0.05550 54 47 6 1
5514 I know she's pretty but first you have to learn Serbian 1.1481 0.05550 54 47 6 1
5515 Gooood boy, quieeeet boy. 1.1481 0.05550 54 47 6 1
5516 Oh just shake a paw and be friends again. 1.1481 0.06147 54 48 4 2
5517 (Little) man’s best frenemy. 1.1481 0.04880 54 46 8 0
5518 Look, Fido found your suit. 1.1481 0.05550 54 47 6 1
5519 White people be like 1.1481 0.05550 54 47 6 1
5520 learn to respect, Jeremy 1.1481 0.05550 54 47 6 1
5521 Yes, Johnny you have healed nicely. Spot, however, is well heeled. 1.1481 0.04880 54 46 8 0
5522 Dad, I love Rex but aren’t we taking this “fur child” thing a little too far” 1.1481 0.04880 54 46 8 0
5523 Once you join the clergy you’ll get a treat too, son 1.1481 0.05550 54 47 6 1
5524 I promise, doggy daycare is more fun than school was, anyway! 1.1481 0.05550 54 47 6 1
5525 Oh come on... let's play fetch! How 'bout that? 1.1481 0.04880 54 46 8 0
5526 The good son 1.1481 0.05550 54 47 6 1
5527 Alright, Timmy, now pick up your sister’s poop 1.1481 0.04880 54 46 8 0
5528 You said you don't have a favorite son" 1.1481 0.04880 54 46 8 0
5529 I don't love you less than the dog, Billy. He's just cuter than you are. 1.1458 0.05148 48 41 7 0
5530 Why can’t you be more like your brother, Jason? 1.1458 0.05148 48 41 7 0
5531 Don’t call your sister a bitch or you will be in deep... 1.1455 0.05455 55 48 6 1
5532 Why do you want to trade places? 1.1455 0.04798 55 47 8 0
5533 This dog has a tighter ass then you son” 1.1455 0.04798 55 47 8 0
5534 Don't worry about career day, Son. Your friends are going to want to meet the owner of the top YouTube channel for silly dog videos! 1.1429 0.05051 49 42 7 0
5535 Don’t worry - every dog has his day. 1.1429 0.05051 49 42 7 0
5536 Pout all you want - I don’t care. You want to act like a child then I will treat you like a child. I will also treat this dog like a child. Your mom called me unstable, but would an unstable man buy you a new dog brother? I don’t think so, champ. 1.1429 0.06521 49 44 3 2
5537 Come on, Jimmy. You’ll love the dog park. 1.1429 0.05832 49 43 5 1
5538 See what a 'good boy' Sparky is? 1.1429 0.05051 49 42 7 0
5539 …and then we just snipped a hole for the tail and booyah, you’ve got a little brother! 1.1429 0.05051 49 42 7 0
5540 Remember I told you they don't wear shoes where Andre comes from. 1.1429 0.05051 49 42 7 0
5541 Sorry, he got to the stick faster so he gets to wear the winner's suit. 1.1429 0.05832 49 43 5 1
5542 Transmigration of species. 1.1429 0.05832 49 43 5 1
5543 Just because I love the dog more than you and your mom is no reason to get upset. 1.1429 0.05051 49 42 7 0
5544 C'Mon now I promised your little brother a bone first and ice cream for you after that! 1.1429 0.05051 49 42 7 0
5545 Remember, when Oswald won the Westminster Kennel Club Dog Show, we agreed to their “Rules of Ownership”. 1.1429 0.05051 49 42 7 0
5546 This is so unfair! He gets everything! You even fix him when he ain't broke! When do I get fixed? 1.1429 0.05832 49 43 5 1
5547 Mom doesn't love you any less, though Bentley did get a spot in the coveted pre-K class. 1.1429 0.05051 49 42 7 0
5548 Now who’s a good boy? 1.1429 0.05051 49 42 7 0
5549 Of course I love your dog brother better than you. He's house trained. 1.1429 0.05051 49 42 7 0
5550 Unless you start behaving yourself, you'll be going to the dogs, which might be a big improvement! 1.1429 0.05051 49 42 7 0
5551 Kids and pets are two sides of the same coin.. Kids have their own heads .. pets have their own tail.. one should know the difference to drive best behavior .. 1.1429 0.05051 49 42 7 0
5552 Sharon got custody of the kids and the dog,so Tim has to make up his weekends with both. 1.1429 0.05051 49 42 7 0
5553 Meet your COVID playmate, Little Puppy Fauntleroy! 1.1429 0.05832 49 43 5 1
5554 Thank you bipedallism.my back still hurts. 1.1429 0.05832 49 43 5 1
5555 What have I told you about being a good big brother and taking your little brother out to play with you? 1.1429 0.05832 49 43 5 1
5556 Calvin's first meeting with Bramhall didn't go nearly so well as his introduction to Hobbes. 1.1429 0.05832 49 43 5 1
5557 Remember what the vet said? The only way Spot can get over his identity crisis is by embracing his Victorian schoolboy alter-ego. Then you can have your shorts back. 1.1429 0.05051 49 42 7 0
5558 Good boy for standing up - you'll get a juicy bone when we get home! 1.1429 0.05051 49 42 7 0
5559 Timmy,now that HushPuppy is graduated,there is an opening for you in Obedience School if you can pass the sit-stay part of the entrance exam 1.1429 0.05051 49 42 7 0
5560 Don't think of him as an annoying little brother, think of him as a hygiene tutor. 1.1429 0.05051 49 42 7 0
5561 Ok, you want switch hands 1.1429 0.05832 49 43 5 1
5562 Stop complaining Timmy at least you don't have to wear knickers to school " 1.1429 0.05051 49 42 7 0
5563 C'mon now; we told you what would happen if you kept cussing in church. 1.1429 0.06521 49 44 3 2
5564 Yes, you are adopted. But, we love you just as much as Skippy! 1.1429 0.05051 49 42 7 0
5565 Billy,why can’t you behave like your brother? 1.1429 0.05832 49 43 5 1
5566 His feelings are hurt. Tell him you are sorry that you called him a lying dog-faced pony soldier. 1.1429 0.06521 49 44 3 2
5567 OK Howie, I already told you and Fido that the pandemic is over and that you cannot see your teacher on TV anymore but you have to go see her in person. #MyNewYorkerCaption 1.1429 0.05051 49 42 7 0
5568 Oh, I know you wanted a baby brother for Christmas, but it's been a hard year. 1.1429 0.05832 49 43 5 1
5569 Now you try on all fours! 1.1429 0.06521 49 44 3 2
5570 Now Billy, just because Mr. Jinks here is adopted, it doesn't mean that he can't be your brother. 1.1429 0.05832 49 43 5 1
5571 I know he might have chewed on your vintage collection of Victorian toys, but you will continue to share your things with him. 1.1429 0.05832 49 43 5 1
5572 Look at it this way, Billy: The more of your hand-me-downs that fit Rocky, the more new toys Santa can afford to leave you. 1.1429 0.05051 49 42 7 0
5573 You've outgrown the suit, now it belongs to Fluffy 1.1429 0.05051 49 42 7 0
5574 FATHER: I'm sure Charles didn't smash your toy on purpose, he's only a dog. CHARLES looks from SAM to the shattered toy. Ominous music swells. CHARLES winks at SAM from behind FATHER's back. SAM leaps for CHARLES. SAM: I know what you are! 1.1429 0.05832 49 43 5 1
5575 Donald let's be nice in public like Buddy otherwise, when we get home only Buddy will get a treat. 1.1429 0.05832 49 43 5 1
5576 Daddy still loves you even if you don't look cute 1.1429 0.05051 49 42 7 0
5577 I WARNED YOU THAT LYING ON THE FLOOR AND SCREAMING, WOULD NOT HELP YOU PASS OBEDIENCE CLASS. 1.1429 0.05051 49 42 7 0
5578 And you'll be able to growl and throw yourself to the floor more. 1.1429 0.05051 49 42 7 0
5579 SORRY TIMMY. AFTER ALL, HE IS MAN'S BEST FRIEND 1.1429 0.05832 49 43 5 1
5580 I said,"If you put on a collar,I'd take you for ice-cream. But,you chose not to,so our dog wearing the collar gets the treat." 1.1429 0.05051 49 42 7 0
5581 I understand! America for Americans,but he’s so well behaved! 1.1429 0.05051 49 42 7 0
5582 You know what they say about man’s best friend 1.1429 0.05832 49 43 5 1
5583 YOU REALLY SHOULD LEARN TO SPEAK DOGLISH. 1.1429 0.05051 49 42 7 0
5584 Looks like Jamie Junior wants 'General Tsao's Chicken' and I can order 'Egg Drop Soup' for you. Are you OK with that? 1.1429 0.05051 49 42 7 0
5585 I may have briefly confused you for a well-dressed bipedal dog, but that’s no excuse for you to get mad like this 1.1429 0.05832 49 43 5 1
5586 I'm not playing with that bitch. 1.1429 0.05832 49 43 5 1
5587 If you’re not good,next year Santa will bring you a suit like that! 1.1429 0.05832 49 43 5 1
5588 Sit Robbie, sit" 1.1429 0.05051 49 42 7 0
5589 I know it's not fair. Zoom School doesn't really work. Soon you can go back to Obedience Training in person. 1.1429 0.05051 49 42 7 0
5590 I'll dress you up like that, too, when you learn to "sit" and "stay" when told!" 1.1429 0.05832 49 43 5 1
5591 He does like you - but please stop calling him Little Lord Fauntelroy. 1.1429 0.06521 49 44 3 2
5592 Jaydon, Rags is willing to say he's sorry for snarling if you'll say you're sorry for saying mean things about his shorts. OK? 1.1429 0.05832 49 43 5 1
5593 I'm sorry son he wanted you to come too to first day of obedience school 1.1429 0.05051 49 42 7 0
5594 If you see your sister on a leash, run. 1.1429 0.06521 49 44 3 2
5595 You’ll see Jimmy. With a top breed like this, all you’ll need to do is pick up after him out back. 1.1429 0.05051 49 42 7 0
5596 He won't bite. 1.1429 0.05051 49 42 7 0
5597 It's a dog's life, Timmy. 1.1429 0.05832 49 43 5 1
5598 You may not be starting first grade today, but you will be learning to fetch! 1.1429 0.05051 49 42 7 0
5599 Like I’ve told you before: if you want to earn dessert in this family, you’ll need to learn some new tricks. 1.1429 0.05051 49 42 7 0
5600 Are you sure you won't go to obedience school? 1.1429 0.05832 49 43 5 1
5601 Let's reframe this Johnny, NOW there's evidence in our house for your lost homework. 1.1429 0.06521 49 44 3 2
5602 Be nice to your new brother. No, those aren’t your clothes. 1.1429 0.05051 49 42 7 0
5603 Look at Peanut. He didn't fidget through Zoom school, now he's going to Eton. 1.1429 0.05051 49 42 7 0
5604 Now Timmy, who’s not being a good boy? Huh? Who’s not being a good boy. 1.1429 0.05051 49 42 7 0
5605 Mommy loves you to, Hunter. She just needs a pic with Darcy for her Instagram. 1.1429 0.05832 49 43 5 1
5606 C'mon, buddy, when the ASPCA says adopt a pet, we adopt a pet. 1.1429 0.05832 49 43 5 1
5607 Be more dogmatic like Ollie 1.1429 0.05832 49 43 5 1
5608 Buddy, I hate to break it to you, but your sister has been smoking you in fetch recently. Is everything okay? 1.1429 0.05051 49 42 7 0
5609 It might not be fair Jimmy but we just can't take your potty to the park 1.1429 0.05832 49 43 5 1
5610 I promise we will get you a zippy outfit just like Waffles! 1.1429 0.05051 49 42 7 0
5611 You could be my favorite, Johnny, if you'd just be a little more obedient like your brother! 1.1429 0.05832 49 43 5 1
5612 I'm sorry, Billy, but our pandemic puppy has indeed taken your place. 1.1429 0.05051 49 42 7 0
5613 I'm sorry but dogs can't be home schooled 1.1429 0.06521 49 44 3 2
5614 It will be fun to trade places with Rex. Now let's get your leash so we can all go for a nice walk. 1.1429 0.05051 49 42 7 0
5615 He may be my best friend, but you'll always be my son. And that'll never change! 1.1429 0.05832 49 43 5 1
5616 Jacob once again explains to Reuben he is not to sell Joseph into slavery in Egypt. Jon Broder Philadelphia Broderj58@gmail.com 215-680-9861 1.1429 0.05051 49 42 7 0
5617 Don’t worry, your brother is all bark and no bite 1.1429 0.05051 49 42 7 0
5618 Dad needs to go back to work 1.1429 0.06521 49 44 3 2
5619 He's your best friend AND your brother. 1.1429 0.05832 49 43 5 1
5620 It looks like Daddy and your sister need to teach you about something we call ‘self-awareness.’ 1.1429 0.05832 49 43 5 1
5621 If you behave you can have a new suit like Kaiser! 1.1429 0.05051 49 42 7 0
5622 For the last time Shaggy, stop eating Scooby's snacks! 1.1429 0.05051 49 42 7 0
5623 No, Johnny... Your cousin Maria does NOT look like a dog. 1.1429 0.05051 49 42 7 0
5624 I love you just as much as your doggy brother. 1.1429 0.05832 49 43 5 1
5625 Don't worry. Peanut always comes home right after his card games. 1.1429 0.05051 49 42 7 0
5626 You being adopted doesn't mean we love you any less than we love your brother 1.1429 0.05051 49 42 7 0
5627 Now, now Donald. Let's act presidential like Jimmy Chew is. 1.1429 0.05051 49 42 7 0
5628 We have only one child room and one dog house. Your choice, Brian! 1.1429 0.05832 49 43 5 1
5629 know son/daughter you are both mammals we cannot assume his/her Canus lupus familiars." 1.1429 0.05832 49 43 5 1
5630 He doesn't have to eat green beans that's the only difference . 1.1429 0.05051 49 42 7 0
5631 Now Donny, it's time to play nice and make room in the house for the new kid. 1.1429 0.05051 49 42 7 0
5632 Dude, he says he ages in Lyle Lovett years. 1.1429 0.05832 49 43 5 1
5633 Don't worry, you can have matching shirts and pants, as well 1.1429 0.05051 49 42 7 0
5634 Donald, don’t worry, I’ll make sure your suit has lots of room for snacks. 1.1429 0.05832 49 43 5 1
5635 You can 1.1429 0.05051 49 42 7 0
5636 You're absolutely right, Chester. When Spike stands the way he's supposed to stand, you're way taller. 1.1429 0.05832 49 43 5 1
5637 Don't worry. You can still fetch. 1.1429 0.05832 49 43 5 1
5638 Will you please apologize to Sparky for biting him? 1.1429 0.06521 49 44 3 2
5639 OK Jimmy, I'll let you use the fire hydrant too. 1.1429 0.05832 49 43 5 1
5640 Son, you're brother's bark is worse than his bite. Now roll over and beg that he forgives you. 1.1429 0.05832 49 43 5 1
5641 Don't feel bad, you're our main kid, he's the auxiliary one. 1.1429 0.05832 49 43 5 1
5642 Don't you want to be part of the new wave of inter-species outreach? 1.1429 0.05832 49 43 5 1
5643 Your new K-9 Formal Kit will have little Bobby wishing HE was the son exposed to the Great Radiation. 1.1429 0.05051 49 42 7 0
5644 I’m sorry, Donald, but our new fave is JoeB 1.1429 0.06521 49 44 3 2
5645 Just think! Next year the dog will stay home and YOU"LL be going to school! 1.1429 0.05051 49 42 7 0
5646 What? Did you prefer him on a leash? 1.1429 0.05832 49 43 5 1
5647 Just wait til' you meet our new step-MOTHER! 1.1429 0.05051 49 42 7 0
5648 How can you say he's my favorite? I got you both the exact same chew toy for Christmas. 1.1429 0.06521 49 44 3 2
5649 Ok, you can wear the suit next time. 1.1429 0.05832 49 43 5 1
5650 All you have to do is smile and you will be much cuter than him. 1.1429 0.05051 49 42 7 0
5651 Now, don’t be so selfish, he’s your brother! 1.1429 0.05051 49 42 7 0
5652 Howard, you should be happy that Brandon has been accepted to Highcroft Academy. I just think you'll have your chance next year and until then . . . . 1.1429 0.05051 49 42 7 0
5653 But, Gregory, he came from the same kennel as your sister. 1.1429 0.05051 49 42 7 0
5654 I know he’s dressed better than you. That’s because he just graduated obedience school. 1.1429 0.05051 49 42 7 0
5655 You'll use the toilet like Little Lord Fauntleroy thank you very much 1.1429 0.05051 49 42 7 0
5656 It's just a thing- he's ALWAYS been my been my BEST friend! 1.1429 0.05832 49 41 5 1
5657 Give me your paw and behave like your brother! 1.1429 0.05832 49 42 5 1
5658 You'll always be my favorite son. 1.1429 0.05051 49 42 7 0
5659 Look Timmy, fair is fair! I said who ever first fetched my slippers first would get the new outfit. 1.1429 0.05832 49 43 5 1
5660 Let’s go for a walk. 1.1429 0.05051 49 42 7 0
5661 Now, Michael, I want you to apologize to your little brother for saying “you’re ugly and your mother dresses you funny.” 1.1429 0.05051 49 42 7 0
5662 Sorry, son. But they only allow formally dressed kids to attend this party. 1.1429 0.05051 49 42 7 0
5663 Donny, stay here while me and Joe go to the store. We'll be back on January 21st. 1.1429 0.05832 49 43 5 1
5664 unconditional love... also for you my child 1.1429 0.05832 49 43 5 1
5665 You'll go to a dog grooming school. Tuition is lower, results are better in comparison to private schools. Look at your brother. 1.1429 0.05051 49 42 7 0
5666 Two legs really good—early retirement good. 1.1429 0.06521 49 44 3 2
5667 First born father and son 1.1429 0.05832 49 43 5 1
5668 Silly child, this isn't a dog! It has no feathers and it's bipedal so clearly it's a human! 1.1429 0.05051 49 42 7 0
5669 Oh come on, Junior, a picture of you in that dapper suit wouldn’t get half as many likes on Instagram. And trust me, we NEED all the likes. 1.1429 0.05832 49 43 5 1
5670 Finer clothes? You see the doggie stand on his own. 1.1429 0.05832 49 43 5 1
5671 Sorry, your mother and I decided a long time ago that if you became allergic to dogs that we would choose the dog. 1.1429 0.05832 49 43 5 1
5672 Let’s see if grandma will be as disappointed with you as she was with him 1.1429 0.05051 49 42 7 0
5673 okay, lets get this clear. you’ll also get to dump your sneakers in the mud, once you comb your hair slick as a bone. 1.1429 0.05051 49 42 7 0
5674 You wanna go for another walk? 1.1429 0.05832 49 43 5 1
5675 Hold Daddy’s hand for a treat! 1.1429 0.05051 49 42 7 0
5676 Why can’t you be like your brother? 🤔 1.1429 0.03571 49 43 6 0
5677 Don't worry, you have a name and an Instagram account too; so no, I'm not proyecting a repressed fatherhood with your brother. 1.1429 0.05832 49 43 5 1
5678 Because he was here first and I love him more. 1.1429 0.05051 49 42 7 0
5679 The same thing happened when I gave all of my food to Spike 30 years ago 1.1429 0.05051 49 42 7 0
5680 Having dogs is way easier than kids 1.1429 0.05832 49 43 5 1
5681 I know I promised you some new clothes last week, but Dash needed an outfit for his Obedience school graduation. 1.1429 0.05051 49 42 7 0
5682 I know it’s your best suit but we have to put on the dog, I’ve heard Frank’s play dates are THE place to be. 1.1429 0.05832 49 43 5 1
5683 ... HE didn’t wet his bed last night. 1.1429 0.05051 49 42 7 0
5684 Ok, if you don't cry I promise that I'll take you to the children's pension next summer, while mum, doggy and I go on holiday! 1.1429 0.05051 49 42 7 0
5685 Trust me, no one will notice the difference. 1.1429 0.05832 49 43 5 1
5686 He’s an influencer and I promise this will be the last @doggystylebrooklyn photo for today. 1.1429 0.05832 49 43 5 1
5687 I don’t love you any less than your brother. He’s just easier to raise given he loves me unconditionally. 1.1429 0.05832 49 43 5 1
5688 I don't car what you say Billy, I am also his paw 1.1429 0.05051 49 42 7 0
5689 Now, Now, he doesn’t talk back.. 1.1429 0.05832 49 43 5 1
5690 Why are you mad dad? I dressed him in my hand me downs. 1.1429 0.05832 49 43 5 1
5691 Larry, please stand up straight and let me hold your hand. Could you try being more like your sister Lola? 1.1429 0.05832 49 43 5 1
5692 I spent alot of time with you both these past few months and let me tell you, I know why they don't say children are a man's best friend. 1.1429 0.05832 49 43 5 1
5693 I have been consistent in my opposition to Common Core. 1.1429 0.05832 49 43 5 1
5694 This giant human being always thinks he is in charge... I may need the leash next time, if not i will find myself running to catch them from eating ice cream" 1.1429 0.05051 49 42 7 0
5695 My last brain cell trying to decide if it should give attention to my work and assignments or my mental health 1.1429 0.05832 49 43 5 1
5696 Someday you can be as good of a boy as your brother. 1.1429 0.05051 49 42 7 0
5697 Andy now understood who daddy's "good boy" was. 1.1429 0.05832 49 43 5 1
5698 It’s September 2050. Donald Trump is Benjamin Button incarnate. First day of 3rd grade will be woke. He is in hell. 1.1429 0.05051 49 42 7 0
5699 I know you studied hard for that math exam but you have to remember that Albert read seven textbooks while you could not even manage the one 1.1429 0.05832 49 43 5 1
5700 Timothy, this is your new mummy” @ellennvalente Happy 1.1429 0.05832 49 43 5 1
5701 Now Harry, you must understand that Mr. Weenie has become a special part of our family. 1.1429 0.05051 49 42 7 0
5702 Obedience School isn’t shut down because of COVID-19. And since you weren’t using your school uniform, we’re just letting him wear it for the time being. 1.1429 0.05832 49 43 5 1
5703 Oh, please — I'm sure ALL of your friends are still doing arranged marriages. 1.1429 0.06521 49 44 3 2
5704 common son, be a good boy and submit to capitalism 1.1429 0.05051 49 42 7 0
5705 So, this is how I die. 1.1429 0.05051 49 42 7 0
5706 I know, I couldn’t believe it myself for the longest time, but he really is our father. 1.1429 0.06521 49 44 3 2
5707 Run, Spot. Run. 1.1429 0.06521 49 44 3 2
5708 C’mon one member of this family has to get back to the office.. we all discussed this during lockdown.... he’s the best guy for the job 1.1429 0.05051 49 42 7 0
5709 I know it’s a little late, but even the dog’s game for a school class photo shoot 1.1429 0.05832 49 43 5 1
5710 I love you both equally — Forget ‘A man’s best friend.’ That’s Dave from Accounting. 1.1429 0.05051 49 42 7 0
5711 It’s the 21st century, I have to love you both the same. But just remember you are not a son of a bit**. 1.1429 0.05051 49 42 7 0
5712 your new sister was actually able to catch a ball! 1.1429 0.05051 49 42 7 0
5713 Don’t be jealous son. You‘ll get your suit soon, too. Plus you‘ll have some student debt to show for it as well.“ 1.1429 0.05832 49 43 5 1
5714 I have to be honest champ, you're only half-siblings 1.1429 0.05051 49 42 7 0
5715 I did not bring a poop bag for you. 1.1400 0.05721 50 44 5 1
5716 Oh, all right, you don't have to take her to Doggy yoga today! 1.1400 0.05721 50 44 5 1
5717 But I can't lick my ears with my legs either! 1.1400 0.06395 50 45 3 2
5718 Get an A on that test tomorrow and you'll be out of his doghouse! 1.1400 0.04957 50 43 7 0
5719 Uh oh! Looks like someone is having a ruff day! 1.1400 0.06395 50 45 3 2
5720 I guess I'll have to dress you up in a suit! 1.1400 0.05721 50 44 5 1
5721 Let’s face it, Billy, after a year of distance learning you aren’t going anywhere. 1.1400 0.05721 50 44 5 1
5722 Bad news? We are fascists. Good news? Your dad can not possibly make things worse. 1.1400 0.06395 50 45 3 2
5723 don't worry I love you just as much as the dog 1.1400 0.05721 50 44 5 1
5724 He gets the fancy suit because his blood line is documented; you're the mutt!! 1.1400 0.05721 50 44 5 1
5725 Yeah. Pretty good thanks. Yourself? 1.1400 0.05721 50 44 5 1
5726 And if you're good, you can have a bone as well! 1.1400 0.04957 50 43 7 0
5727 Another tantrum? You don’t see your brother complaining about wearing pants. 1.1400 0.04957 50 43 7 0
5728 I mean he's older than Mitch McConnel in human years. So, he pretty much rules this house. 1.1400 0.04957 50 43 7 0
5729 Oh, come on, Jeffrey, be a little bit more inclusive! He just wanted to play ... 1.1400 0.05721 50 44 5 1
5730 Son, you have more clothes than you can wear in his lifetime. 1.1400 0.04957 50 43 7 0
5731 C'mon, be a good boy. 1.1373 0.05615 51 45 5 1
5732 Just get to know him, he’s the dog’s pajamas! 1.1373 0.04867 51 44 7 0
5733 Come on..., you can stand on your toes, like Fido if you try. 1.1373 0.05615 51 45 5 1
5734 Common now, be a good dog 1.1373 0.05615 51 45 5 1
5735 Nobody is going to see the hole when we go to church because we'll all be sitting. 1.1356 0.05648 59 53 4 2
5736 What's the matter Jimmy... don't you like doggy style? 1.1346 0.05512 52 46 5 1
5737 Don't worry Danny. You'll only have to share the chew toys. 1.1346 0.05512 52 46 5 1
5738 I’m sorry buddy. He’s too refined to role over and beg. 1.1346 0.05512 52 46 5 1
5739 Sorry Buddy, this boutique only allows dogs in 1.1346 0.05512 52 46 5 1
5740 You're bound to win in the next rock, paper, scissors 1.1346 0.05512 52 46 5 1
5741 It’s a no for me Dog 1.1346 0.05512 52 46 5 1
5742 Keep tryin', buddy! 1.1346 0.05512 52 46 5 1
5743 He’s just so happy when we come home 1.1346 0.05512 52 46 5 1
5744 He’s little. 1.1346 0.05512 52 46 5 1
5745 Sorry Billy, it's Ms. Frou-frou's turn to pick dinner. 1.1333 0.05125 45 39 6 0
5746 Shake... good boy! Now, roll over... 1.1333 0.06030 45 40 4 1
5747 I know you wanted another kid to play with but I'm allergic to goats. 1.1333 0.05125 45 39 6 0
5748 There's still time to be first to be potty trained, hint hint. 1.1321 0.04695 53 46 7 0
5749 No, I am not wired. I once was a fed cop. 1.1321 0.05413 53 47 5 1
5750 They’re not laughing “at us”. They’re laughing at their own thoughts, so, really they’re just laughing at themselves...does that help? 1.1321 0.05413 53 47 5 1
5751 You see son, Daddy loved Snowy a bit too much... 1.1321 0.05413 53 47 5 1
5752 You can be a good boy too. 1.1304 0.05020 46 40 6 0
5753 Before I met Your Mom, I went thru My "Being a Dog " Phase 1.1304 0.05905 46 41 4 1
5754 Maybe someday, Liam, the American Kennel Club will be open for little kids. 1.1304 0.05020 46 40 6 0
5755 You can behave you were the best of the litter." 1.1304 0.05020 46 40 6 0
5756 My Dad is a clown. 1.1304 0.05020 46 40 6 0
5757 Sure, he’s not a ‘real’ brother, but the childcare was a steal! 1.1304 0.05905 46 41 4 1
5758 Stay here and be a good boy, while I take Mr. Fido to school. 1.1304 0.05905 46 41 4 1
5759 Yes, Rosco, my new fiancé is a bitch, but she's from show stock and geez, wait'll you see her field ground balls! 1.1304 0.05020 46 40 6 0
5760 Isn’t this fun? It’s like a new brother! 1.1304 0.05020 46 40 6 0
5761 C’mon now, you know I love you both equally. 1.1304 0.05020 46 40 6 0
5762 But Honey, his new suit doesn't mean I love him more than you; it simply means I love him no less than I love you. 1.1304 0.05020 46 40 6 0
5763 Impostor! 1.1304 0.05020 46 40 6 0
5764 Stop acting like a bitch. 1.1304 0.05020 46 40 6 0
5765 Your Dad is nuts, Jack. 1.1304 0.05905 46 41 4 1
5766 We should celebrate inclusiveness..not whine about fashion. 1.1304 0.05905 46 41 4 1
5767 You remember your first day of school, don’t you..? 1.1304 0.05020 46 40 6 0
5768 We the characters of comic strips past encourage you, 2021, to make them smile. 1.1304 0.05905 46 41 4 1
5769 The dog wears it better. 1.1304 0.05020 46 40 6 0
5770 RESPECT your elders! 1.1304 0.05020 46 40 6 0
5771 Come on, honey, it was you who made the wish for total equality 1.1304 0.05020 46 40 6 0
5772 Would you also like to go to behavior school like your little pup? 1.1304 0.05020 46 40 6 0
5773 Johnnie, you just have to learn to fetch the ball like Max. 1.1304 0.05020 46 40 6 0
5774 How about I get you a pair of Puma Clyde's? 1.1304 0.05905 46 41 4 1
5775 It’s not you, it’s meme. 1.1304 0.05020 46 40 6 0
5776 Put on a hard face. 1.1304 0.05020 46 40 6 0
5777 Some day when your future wife dresses up the dog like this you will understand why i wear boy's clothes" 1.1304 0.05020 46 40 6 0
5778 Son, you’ll love obedience school. Look at at what it did for Fido. 1.1304 0.05020 46 40 6 0
5779 C'mon Johnnie. It's time for our walk. 1.1304 0.05020 46 40 6 0
5780 So what if he does ballet and his shorts have an opening on the wrong side? Now shake hands. 1.1304 0.05020 46 40 6 0
5781 Sorry, but it’s your turn to walk the dog! 1.1304 0.05020 46 40 6 0
5782 Now, I know you're upset son, but fair is fair. You drew the short straw and will be sacrificed to provide sustenance to Missy so that she may live. It's the way of the sea. 1.1304 0.05905 46 41 4 1
5783 He can’t do anything on command, the ruffian. 1.1304 0.05020 46 40 6 0
5784 Hey Buddy, your new brother thought we could order out dog food tonight. Whaddya think? 1.1304 0.05020 46 40 6 0
5785 Now who is the good boy! 1.1304 0.05020 46 40 6 0
5786 he's the pick of the litter. 1.1304 0.05020 46 40 6 0
5787 Your brother is dressing for the job he wants - not the job he has.” 1.1304 0.05905 46 41 4 1
5788 It's all right son. He's just here to teach you how to heel. 1.1304 0.05020 46 40 6 0
5789 Santa's fetch toys are so fun, aren't they? 1.1304 0.05020 46 40 6 0
5790 I told you not to eat your brother's food. 1.1304 0.05020 46 40 6 0
5791 It's a dog eat dog world. 1.1304 0.05020 46 40 6 0
5792 Whose the good boy now? 1.1304 0.05020 46 40 6 0
5793 I promise it will be fun, just choose a different species. You're too young for this anthropocentric attitude, come on! 1.1304 0.05905 46 41 4 1
5794 It’s okay that he doesn’t suit you. You might learn something. 1.1304 0.05905 46 41 4 1
5795 Your little brother doesn’t look like you. But he us Still Family. 1.1304 0.05020 46 40 6 0
5796 Boys, boys, we are family. 1.1304 0.05020 46 40 6 0
5797 This little guy is Mom's and my choice. Sorry, Cameron. 1.1304 0.05905 46 41 4 1
5798 "Come on. You know how hard he worked to get into Exeter Prep." 1.1304 0.05020 46 40 6 0
5799 Is that a border collie? 1.1304 0.05905 46 41 4 1
5800 Obedience school, finishing school, I made a mistake. Now shake hands and go play. 1.1304 0.05905 46 41 4 1
5801 I want you two to lick each other and make up. 1.1304 0.05020 46 40 6 0
5802 Reginald will only be here a short time son. His home is housebroken. 1.1304 0.05020 46 40 6 0
5803 You will soon be enrolled in obedience school too! 1.1304 0.05020 46 40 6 0
5804 Who’s a bad boy? 1.1304 0.05905 46 41 4 1
5805 Isn’t this great?? Your very own paw patrol, son! 1.1304 0.05020 46 40 6 0
5806 I know it's hard for you to believe now, but some day soon he will be your BF." 1.1304 0.05020 46 40 6 0
5807 Yes, he’s your new big brother. And, no, you won’t have to wear his hand-me-downs. 1.1304 0.05020 46 40 6 0
5808 DOGgonit Dad That outfit just doesn’t Suit him! 1.1304 0.05020 46 40 6 0
5809 Chuckie, meet Angus the Guitarist Dog. 1.1304 0.05020 46 40 6 0
5810 Well son, you said you wanted a "hot" dog 1.1304 0.05020 46 40 6 0
5811 Daddy loves you,too! 1.1304 0.05020 46 40 6 0
5812 Trust me. Dog obedience school is fun. Look at your brother, he grew a tail. 1.1304 0.05905 46 41 4 1
5813 This is clearly beyond my pay grade... 1.1304 0.05905 46 41 4 1
5814 Don't act cranky - you did say that you wanted a hot dog! 1.1304 0.05905 46 41 4 1
5815 It's just for short term tutoring on tree trunk outer layers 1.1304 0.05020 46 40 6 0
5816 When you stop wetting yourself, you can have a nice outfit like Chauncey’s 1.1304 0.05020 46 40 6 0
5817 2020!, amirite?? ??? 1.1304 0.05905 46 41 4 1
5818 I know he looks like Little Lord Fauntleroy, but you still need to be nice. 1.1304 0.05020 46 40 6 0
5819 ...but, you used to be such good friends. 1.1304 0.05020 46 40 6 0
5820 Come on now, he is trying to be boys best friend. 1.1304 0.05020 46 40 6 0
5821 Would you rather go play with the cat? 1.1304 0.05020 46 40 6 0
5822 Two out of three? 1.1304 0.05905 46 41 4 1
5823 Heel and I’ll give you a biscuit. 1.1304 0.05905 46 41 4 1
5824 Don't be silly. I love you both the same! 1.1304 0.05905 46 41 4 1
5825 We couldn't find an X-Box 360, so we got you the next best thing. 1.1304 0.05020 46 40 6 0
5826 OK, let’s be best friends. 1.1304 0.05905 46 41 4 1
5827 He can't go to your school, he's a pedigree. 1.1304 0.05020 46 40 6 0
5828 Now let’s see who’s the best boy 1.1304 0.05020 46 40 6 0
5829 And now you! get naked and down on all fours. 1.1304 0.05020 46 40 6 0
5830 Johnny, it's time we talked about dog years. 1.1304 0.05020 46 40 6 0
5831 Sorry Jimmy,but now was the perfect time to get an upgrade. 1.1304 0.05020 46 40 6 0
5832 Now now Buddy, calm down or you'll end up in the boy house. 1.1304 0.05020 46 40 6 0
5833 Sorry, Johnny, we can't go for ice cream today because Spike just got a callback for the AC/DC tribute band! 1.1304 0.05905 46 41 4 1
5834 Remember when we talked about being the best in show? 1.1304 0.05020 46 40 6 0
5835 C'mon...we can ALL be best friends! 1.1304 0.05020 46 40 6 0
5836 We pay nothing for her shoes 1.1304 0.05905 46 41 4 1
5837 She identifies as your mate, and she's in heat! 1.1304 0.05020 46 40 6 0
5838 Champ, the rules were clear: first to open the can of beans gets the fancy clothes. 1.1304 0.06673 46 42 2 2
5839 You see, you have sandals and she doesn't. Next time you will have the tail, I promise. 1.1304 0.05020 46 40 6 0
5840 C'mon, sonny boy. See how good you'll look all dressed up in your new suit. 1.1304 0.05020 46 40 6 0
5841 What can I say, ' He likes his treats better than you do!" 1.1304 0.05905 46 41 4 1
5842 Come on, dance with your cousin! I promise it'll be fun! 1.1304 0.05905 46 41 4 1
5843 Ok,now you take a dump on the carpet. 1.1304 0.05905 46 41 4 1
5844 But I liked the white house! 1.1304 0.05020 46 40 6 0
5845 Now Donald,if Lucky here can learn to make poopie in the potty,so can you. 1.1304 0.05020 46 40 6 0
5846 test test 1.1304 0.05020 46 40 6 0
5847 Yes, but he is my supervisor too. 1.1304 0.05020 46 40 6 0
5848 See how well the dog is behaving? 1.1304 0.05020 46 40 6 0
5849 He dresses better than you. 1.1304 0.05020 46 40 6 0
5850 You're not old enough to take care of a dog suit. 1.1304 0.05020 46 40 6 0
5851 Sorry, buddy. You can’t wear his outfit because you need pants. 1.1304 0.05020 46 40 6 0
5852 It’s ok. Sparky loves you because you’re different. Embrace him to get hero-worship loyalty! 1.1304 0.05020 46 40 6 0
5853 C'mon Buddy, show James how you can bark. 1.1304 0.05020 46 40 6 0
5854 When you learn to dress nice, you'll get a treat, too. 1.1304 0.05020 46 40 6 0
5855 You are right, I told you to hit Tommy many times But that does not mean you should hit him. It is not my fault. 1.1304 0.05020 46 40 6 0
5856 This is your last chance to make friends. 1.1304 0.05905 46 41 4 1
5857 See what "Potty Training" gets you? 1.1304 0.05020 46 40 6 0
5858 BUT I WANTED TO BE A SINGLE CHILD!!! 1.1304 0.05020 46 40 6 0
5859 Now go get your harness and I'll take you to the park! 1.1304 0.05905 46 41 4 1
5860 The dog is just as smart as you, just as funny as you, and gets the same amount of love as you! See, you and the dog are actually equal! 1.1304 0.05905 46 41 4 1
5861 Humor is useless when our society is crumbling before us if anyone in from the UN please for the love of God deploy peacekeeping forces to the United States we're dying and our government is complicit in this murder 1.1304 0.05020 46 40 6 0
5862 Don't be jealous, son. He's just my best friend. 1.1304 0.05905 46 41 4 1
5863 Storming the Capitol might not work out like you think it will. 1.1304 0.05020 46 40 6 0
5864 C'mon, obedience school's no big deal. Just ask Rex here. 1.1304 0.05020 46 40 6 0
5865 That’s OK son it’s just puppy love. 1.1304 0.05020 46 40 6 0
5866 Nostalgia meets uncertainty. 1.1304 0.05905 46 41 4 1
5867 You said you wanted a playmate in the house because of how lonely it was for you in quarantine. Now you’re saying to return Balto to the shelter because he’s wearing your old hand me downs? Let’s practice learning to let go, my son. 1.1304 0.05020 46 40 6 0
5868 Hey! We love you too! Just that your brother listens to us more often! 1.1304 0.05905 46 41 4 1
5869 This dog is not meant to walk on two legs. It will cause him to eventually lose muscle coordination, balance, and even suffer from paralysis. However he wants to be a human and does not understand consequences. 1.1304 0.05905 46 41 4 1
5870 „I thought this is what you wanted, Boris.“ 1.1304 0.05020 46 40 6 0
5871 Billy, be nice to your new brother 1.1304 0.05905 46 41 4 1
5872 Now why can’t you be a good boy like your brother lucky? 1.1304 0.05905 46 41 4 1
5873 Cocaine is a hell of a drug." 1.1304 0.05020 46 40 6 0
5874 Sure, Archie can’t open doors or brush his own teeth, but look at him... he’s trying so hard. 1.1304 0.05905 46 41 4 1
5875 Son, you have to be a dog now 1.1304 0.05020 46 40 6 0
5876 Tommy why can’t you be more like your brother, look how respectable he looks 1.1304 0.05020 46 40 6 0
5877 When you win Best in Show, you’ll get the education you deserve, son 1.1304 0.05020 46 40 6 0
5878 You wouldn’t look half as smart or half as cute 1.1304 0.05020 46 40 6 0
5879 he’s just more photogenic than you are 1.1304 0.05020 46 40 6 0
5880 But you said you wanted a dog that suits you! 1.1304 0.06673 46 42 2 2
5881 I know I am speaking from a position of privilege, but man, kids can be so ungrateful at times 1.1304 0.05905 46 41 4 1
5882 See, you get your New Year’s clench and he’s a wiener! We have a great year ahead of us, depending how you look at it!” 1.1304 0.05020 46 40 6 0
5883 Saturday night 1.1304 0.05020 46 40 6 0
5884 Democracy at its finest 1.1304 0.05905 46 41 4 1
5885 When Pence learned how to heel 1.1304 0.05020 46 40 6 0
5886 But why does he get to wear the suit? 1.1304 0.05020 46 40 6 0
5887 Quarantine made me do it! 1.1304 0.05905 46 41 4 1
5888 Obviously it’s much easier to train a pet dog to help than a human son. So why I still reproduced you?” - from a father who’s also a descendant of Charles Darwi 1.1304 0.05905 46 41 4 1
5889 Meet your new pandemic therapist. 1.1304 0.05020 46 40 6 0
5890 Its fine, your school said they accept K-9. 1.1304 0.05020 46 40 6 0
5891 Don't worry Ralphie, it's just till he gets his Ph 1.1304 0.05020 46 40 6 0
5892 Sit...stay...roll over...*new normal*! 1.1304 0.05020 46 40 6 0
5893 Don't worry! You can have a suit too when you will be a good boy like your brother. 1.1304 0.05905 46 41 4 1
5894 Now stop whining and take it up with Santa next year. You got Biden this year. 1.1304 0.05020 46 40 6 0
5895 : "Don't be jealous... 4 years isn't enough?!" 1.1304 0.05020 46 40 6 0
5896 You are both our children and we love you equally but your Instagram account just hasn't gotten the traction we were hoping for compared to Mr. Wiggles'. 1.1304 0.05905 46 41 4 1
5897 Give half your organic chicken nuggets to your dog-brother! 1.1304 0.05020 46 40 6 0
5898 Look, I know you’re upset, but I don’t have the bandwidth for this to become your Villain Origin Story 1.1304 0.05020 46 40 6 0
5899 Hey, cheer up! no school, no corona! 1.1304 0.05020 46 40 6 0
5900 Ha ha, guess what? 1.1304 0.05020 46 40 6 0
5901 Waise the woof 1.1304 0.05020 46 40 6 0
5902 Now this is what we mean by doggy style 1.1304 0.05905 46 41 4 1
5903 I’m TIRED of wearing the dog’s hand-me-downs! 1.1304 0.05020 46 40 6 0
5904 The difference between the 3 year olds was astounding. 1.1304 0.05020 46 40 6 0
5905 I’m not saying for certain that HE DID get the fleas from your hand me downs, I’m just not willing to take it off the table just yet. 1.1304 0.05020 46 40 6 0
5906 Of course we him more than you. He’s better behaved and fully house broken. 1.1277 0.04920 47 41 6 0
5907 I'm sorry Charles but watching "Think Like a Dog" as a family might not be the best choice tonight . 1.1277 0.04920 47 41 6 0
5908 Why can’t you behave and be a good boy like your stepdog Arnold? 1.1277 0.04920 47 41 6 0
5909 Don’t stress it buddy - Bouncer’s just levelled up. 1.1277 0.05784 47 42 4 1
5910 Now, don't be like that - when you get straight A's I'll buy you a new outfit too! 1.1277 0.04920 47 41 6 0
5911 Don't you want to be a good boy, too? 1.1277 0.05784 47 42 4 1
5912 Honey, I allow you both to dress yourselves. It's not my fault Archie was photographed for the street-wear blog and you weren't. 1.1277 0.04920 47 41 6 0
5913 Doggone it! that waggy-tailed monster stole my toy! 1.1277 0.04920 47 41 6 0
5914 But, I don't want to play with him. 1.1277 0.04920 47 41 6 0
5915 He's just your brother through marriage. 1.1277 0.04920 47 41 6 0
5916 Rexie is only starting first grade now because he aced obedience school first, Aiden. 1.1277 0.04920 47 41 6 0
5917 When you're older, you'll thank me. 1.1277 0.04920 47 41 6 0
5918 Jack and his beanstalk always thought he had the advantage 'til 1.1277 0.04920 47 41 6 0
5919 What makes you think he's my favorite? 1.1277 0.04920 47 41 6 0
5920 Don't pout, your old school costume was ready for the flea market! 1.1277 0.04920 47 41 6 0
5921 See what a good boy he is? You could be a good boy,too,if you try! 1.1277 0.04920 47 41 6 0
5922 We didn't get a puppy, we adopted your new fur brother. 1.1277 0.04920 47 41 6 0
5923 It's a dog eat dog world Billy. 1.1277 0.04920 47 41 6 0
5924 nobady cares about dogs :( 1.1277 0.04920 47 41 6 0
5925 Hey Pal, this is Jo-Jo-the-dog face-boy... He ran away from the circus to have a normal life. 1.1277 0.04920 47 41 6 0
5926 Just cut it out, or I'll let the dog out! 1.1277 0.04920 47 41 6 0
5927 Why can’t you be more like Rex? 1.1277 0.04920 47 41 6 0
5928 They better not send me to obedience school 1.1277 0.04920 47 41 6 0
5929 When your parents treat the dog better than you. 1.1277 0.04920 47 41 6 0
5930 When it comes to loyalty, you still have a long way to go, trying to dress like him won’t work your way up. 1.1277 0.04920 47 41 6 0
5931 This takes parental embarrassment to a new level. 1.1277 0.04920 47 41 6 0
5932 Even your older brother says you’ll like obedience school. 1.1277 0.04920 47 41 6 0
5933 Why can’t you be more like your sister? 1.1277 0.05784 47 42 4 1
5934 Remember what I said would happen the next time I caught you inside my doggie bag 1.1277 0.05784 47 42 4 1
5935 Don’t treat me like a dog” 1.1277 0.05784 47 42 4 1
5936 Why does HE get the good side? 1.1277 0.04920 47 41 6 0
5937 I know you’re frustrated but you can’t use that kind of language towards your sister 1.1277 0.04920 47 41 6 0
5938 Stop complaining son, all lives matter. Why should the dog get treated any different than you? 1.1277 0.04920 47 41 6 0
5939 C’mon Jimmy, cooperate! Be more like your brother, Fido 1.1277 0.04920 47 41 6 0
5940 Now I’ll stay here with Toby, and you go there play with your plant-sister. 1.1277 0.04920 47 41 6 0
5941 Just because you get his old clothes doesn't mean I don't love you 1.1277 0.04920 47 41 6 0
5942 ‘I can only afford to send one of you to private school, and Gunner here already tested out of obedience school.’ 1.1277 0.05784 47 42 4 1
5943 If anything, he's much fancier than you are! 1.1277 0.04920 47 41 6 0
5944 Stop your bitching 1.1277 0.04920 47 41 6 0
5945 Don't barf at me, kid. I would rather be at dog school than doing home-schooling with your dad. 1.1277 0.05784 47 42 4 1
5946 ''Any man who hates dogs and children can`t be all bad. '' 1.1273 0.05225 55 49 5 1
5947 Chin up champ. Today is bring your boy to puppy school day! 1.1273 0.04535 55 48 7 0
5948 He said he would rather play chess than go for a walk. 1.1273 0.04535 55 48 7 0
5949 Who’s the little bitch now? 1.1273 0.05225 55 49 5 1
5950 Johnny, he gets the new suit because he minds well. 1.1250 0.04824 48 42 6 0
5951 Come on. Be a good boy, and give me your paw, 1.1250 0.04824 48 42 6 0
5952 He's only better dressed, that's all! 1.1250 0.04824 48 42 6 0
5953 Take you children & animals to work day...Why can’t you be more like your brother? 1.1250 0.04824 48 42 6 0
5954 Behave, or you’ll have to take obedience classes and wear a Little Lord Fauntleroy suit too. 1.1250 0.04824 48 42 6 0
5955 Roll over! 1.1224 0.05558 49 44 4 1
5956 Jake got a new suit because Jake got all A's 1.1200 0.04642 50 44 6 0
5957 Thanks to liberal Democrats, meet your new Step Brother. 1.1200 0.05451 50 45 4 1
5958 Stanley, meet your new adopted brother, Livingstone. 1.1154 0.04474 52 46 6 0
5959 He'll never love me as much as he loves his wiener. 1.1154 0.05249 52 47 4 1
5960 Today we're gonna adopt you out, the same way we adopted Bootsies in! 1.1136 0.04840 44 39 5 0
5961 He inspires me to want to open my closet again. 1.1136 0.04840 44 39 5 0
5962 He is the “good” boy! 1.1136 0.04840 44 39 5 0
5963 He is retrurnable for a full refund! 1.1136 0.05831 44 40 3 1
5964 Come on. Magnet schools are supposed to be diverse. 1.1136 0.04840 44 39 5 0
5965 Someday you'll understand he is special. 1.1136 0.04840 44 39 5 0
5966 If only you were more buttoned-down... 1.1136 0.04840 44 39 5 0
5967 Heal 1.1136 0.06676 44 41 1 2
5968 Fractions and basic genetics will blow your mind. 1.1136 0.04840 44 39 5 0
5969 Sorry Bobby, but I got a 2 for 1 deal on doggie daycare. 1.1136 0.04840 44 39 5 0
5970 Canine on cloud-nine: Every pooch has its own personality 1.1136 0.05831 44 40 3 1
5971 Didn’t you say you wanted a hot dog? 1.1136 0.04840 44 39 5 0
5972 We got you a dog to teach you responsibility - and professionalism. 1.1136 0.04840 44 39 5 0
5973 Goodie No-shoes is not just man's best friend. He's yours too. 1.1136 0.04840 44 39 5 0
5974 Tell your brother 'sorry' and give him a kiss 1.1136 0.04840 44 39 5 0
5975 Smile son, we won the ASPCA Family of the Year Award! 1.1136 0.04840 44 39 5 0
5976 Hey, don't be jealous. Whaddya say we watch a movie when we get home? Have you seen 'Dog Day Afternoon?' On second thought... 1.1136 0.04840 44 39 5 0
5977 I am surprised at your dogged refusal to chuckle but go ahead and suit yourself! 1.1136 0.05831 44 40 3 1
5978 Mother's waiting in your bedroom with your OTHER new pet. 1.1136 0.04840 44 39 5 0
5979 It'll be okay Bobby, I got a good deal on the dog, you will do OK with your new family 1.1136 0.05831 44 40 3 1
5980 You outgrew it long ago. 1.1136 0.04840 44 39 5 0
5981 He didn't mean to bark at you like that. 1.1136 0.05831 44 40 3 1
5982 I guess dogs are easier to manage than pouting boys! 1.1136 0.04840 44 39 5 0
5983 Well, yes, mommy says he's a good boy and you're a bad boy. But just think, if you were a good boy you'd have to wear that too. 1.1136 0.04840 44 39 5 0
5984 Good Boy Timothy. 1.1136 0.04840 44 39 5 0
5985 It's okay, Kaleb, we all develop at our own pace. 1.1136 0.04840 44 39 5 0
5986 Don’t worry. We’re not replacing you. We’re motivating you. 1.1136 0.04840 44 39 5 0
5987 You know what it's like to be adopted. 1.1136 0.04840 44 39 5 0
5988 That’s okay. He is going to the White House. 1.1136 0.04840 44 39 5 0
5989 You don't hear Pups whimpering over nothing, do you? 1.1136 0.04840 44 39 5 0
5990 Buddy look's great in your clothes, he is my best friend! 1.1136 0.05831 44 40 3 1
5991 Lately, Timmy had become concerned that his father was taking the title of "Doggy Daddy" a bit too seriously. 1.1136 0.04840 44 39 5 0
5992 Being called a good boy wan't enouogh for him. 1.1136 0.04840 44 39 5 0
5993 Suit, smoot. I say son... is... Man’s friend, best friend. 1.1136 0.04840 44 39 5 0
5994 Life's a bitch I know but look she still tries to look her best. Don't be so doggone grumpy. 1.1136 0.05831 44 40 3 1
5995 C’mon, son. We are never too odd to greet a new normal. 1.1136 0.04840 44 39 5 0
5996 You're gonna love this school like your older brother, Fido. They give you treats every time you're a good boy! 1.1136 0.04840 44 39 5 0
5997 I know it doesn’t have a blue coat but it’s still trained as a businessman 1.1136 0.04840 44 39 5 0
5998 If you don't make messes, you can have a treat too. 1.1136 0.05831 44 40 3 1
5999 Gghy 1.1136 0.05831 44 40 3 1
6000 Yes, feed your anger. Punch the dog that your mother was reincarnated into. 1.1136 0.04840 44 39 5 0
6001 Don't be mad, Timmy. Of course I had to help him with the buttons. Otherwise, how could he have represented me in court? 1.1136 0.04840 44 39 5 0
6002 Johnny, don't fret and frown. Fido gets the bone this time. 1.1136 0.04840 44 39 5 0
6003 Why can’t you be more like your dog brother? 1.1136 0.04840 44 39 5 0
6004 When you learn to beg like Fido, you can wear fancy clothes too 1.1136 0.04840 44 39 5 0
6005 Come on, Bobby. Say hello to your new brother. I can tell you guys are going be good friends. 1.1136 0.04840 44 39 5 0
6006 Remember, he's your best friend! 1.1136 0.05831 44 40 3 1
6007 He’s not just your baby brother— he’s your new best friend! 1.1136 0.04840 44 39 5 0
6008 You know I don’t have favourites but Fido is such a good boy! You could learn a lot. 1.1136 0.04840 44 39 5 0
6009 Oh, come on....haven't you said you wanted a little brother? 1.1136 0.04840 44 39 5 0
6010 C'mon, let's get going now...we need to find an artist who can draw us better. 1.1136 0.05831 44 40 3 1
6011 Give me your little paw. 1.1136 0.04840 44 39 5 0
6012 We’re going to get you a suit just like Rover’s. Won’t that be fun? 1.1136 0.04840 44 39 5 0
6013 Come on, you know your brother is a Good Boy! 1.1136 0.04840 44 39 5 0
6014 He's a terrier not a boxer! 1.1136 0.04840 44 39 5 0
6015 No! I throw the ball, and you chase it! 1.1136 0.04840 44 39 5 0
6016 You don't have to wear a suit or poop outside! 1.1136 0.04840 44 39 5 0
6017 Son, your Mother and I feel that you're old enough to know that you were adopted. 1.1136 0.04840 44 39 5 0
6018 As soon as you stop pooping in the house we’ll get you a nice suit just like Hugo.. 1.1136 0.04840 44 39 5 0
6019 He just looks so much better in shorts than you do! 1.1136 0.04840 44 39 5 0
6020 I only called him the "good son" because he's better trained than you. We still love you... almost as much as him. 1.1136 0.04840 44 39 5 0
6021 His name is Little Lord Fauntleroy. Is that too hard to say? 1.1136 0.04840 44 39 5 0
6022 Armani has a new line of clothes he calls "Ardogi". 1.1136 0.04840 44 39 5 0
6023 Now Donnie, don’t be grouchy just because my dog and I are moving into the White House. “Sh*#%” happens. 1.1136 0.04840 44 39 5 0
6024 He's here to set a good example for you. 1.1136 0.04840 44 39 5 0
6025 No, I don’t love him more because he gets consistently more views 1.1136 0.04840 44 39 5 0
6026 Hey Kiddo, pets are now my new best friend.... 1.1136 0.04840 44 39 5 0
6027 Who's a bad boy? Who's a bad boy? 1.1136 0.05831 44 40 3 1
6028 I'm sorry son, next year you can go to Obedience School. 1.1136 0.04840 44 39 5 0
6029 He's a rescue from a prep school; so he's already trained 1.1136 0.04840 44 39 5 0
6030 I don’t care what the dictionary says, you’re still not allowed to call her a “bitch,” especially when she has her outfit on. 1.1136 0.04840 44 39 5 0
6031 Yup, I was never the favorite. 1.1136 0.05831 44 40 3 1
6032 Relax, Billy, you can be line leader next week. 1.1136 0.04840 44 39 5 0
6033 Dog, meet Spencer, Spencer, meet Dog. 1.1136 0.04840 44 39 5 0
6034 But in dog years, he is older than you. 1.1136 0.04840 44 39 5 0
6035 'Buddy' just won't do, son. We're naming him 'Fauntleroy' ". 1.1136 0.04840 44 39 5 0
6036 Now Buddy, use your words like your sister. 1.1136 0.04840 44 39 5 0
6037 Cheer up, you little sonofabitch. 1.1136 0.05831 44 40 3 1
6038 Now, now- he's a good boy. 1.1136 0.04840 44 39 5 0
6039 C'mon, Billy, let's see you be a good boy too. 1.1136 0.04840 44 39 5 0
6040 Next week you get to pick the treat. 1.1136 0.04840 44 39 5 0
6041 You do have to learn your seven times tables if you want to be friends. 1.1136 0.04840 44 39 5 0
6042 Why can’t you be more like Finn? 1.1136 0.04840 44 39 5 0
6043 If you keep pouting I'm going to let Skippy chew your face off. 1.1136 0.05831 44 40 3 1
6044 We thought that having a new friend for you would be better than a cello phone 1.1136 0.04840 44 39 5 0
6045 C'mon, Boy! C'mon! Hey, wanna num-num? Huh, Boy? Huh? C'mon Boy! 1.1136 0.04840 44 39 5 0
6046 NO! I don’t care what Johnny says. That’s not your mother! 1.1136 0.04840 44 39 5 0
6047 You wanted me to buy you a doggy for Christmas. So,, what are you so sad about. 1.1136 0.04840 44 39 5 0
6048 WHY CAN'T YOU BE MORE LIKE ROVER? 1.1136 0.04840 44 39 5 0
6049 Fetch is really a fun game. 1.1136 0.04840 44 39 5 0
6050 Aw, come on and be a gooood boy like your brother. 1.1136 0.04840 44 39 5 0
6051 Some day you'll like to touch soft things, Lennie. 1.1136 0.05831 44 40 3 1
6052 This is about learning to share.  Now, please put on the collar. 1.1136 0.04840 44 39 5 0
6053 Sorry, son, but he’s so much more... carefree. 1.1136 0.04840 44 39 5 0
6054 Yes, Billy, I know it sounds strange, but they has made it clear: they wants to be addressed as “they.” 1.1136 0.05831 44 40 3 1
6055 We lost his brother. Come to our van. We’ll go looking for him Also, we have candy. 1.1136 0.06676 44 41 1 2
6056 He's your new brother and he’s here to keep you bu 1.1136 0.04840 44 39 5 0
6057 Doggonit Dad, he just won’t stop yapping! 1.1136 0.05831 44 40 3 1
6058 Scooter, when you start behaving like little Fauntleroy, you can be my pet. 1.1136 0.04840 44 39 5 0
6059 Don’t call your sister a little bitch. She’s almost as tall as you. 1.1136 0.04840 44 39 5 0
6060 He's wearing a better outfit because he make more money. 1.1136 0.04840 44 39 5 0
6061 Look at Mr. He Tippytoes. He doesn’t seem to have any misplaced rage at the Ice Capades. 1.1136 0.05831 44 40 3 1
6062 Now, Tommy, maybe if you licked my hand every time I come home, you'd get some new clothes too. 1.1136 0.04840 44 39 5 0
6063 Aaron, please apologize to Johnny Buttons for calling his mom that B word. 1.1136 0.04840 44 39 5 0
6064 Here’s the little brother you’ve always wanted. 1.1136 0.04840 44 39 5 0
6065 You can be as great a son as your stepbrother Rover. 1.1136 0.04840 44 39 5 0
6066 Ms. Marsh has requested that Bentley replace you in your online real time classes, because he passed obedience school, while you "have a long way to go." Her words, son, not mine. 1.1136 0.04840 44 39 5 0
6067 His house training is going really well. 1.1136 0.04840 44 39 5 0
6068 I told you to dress to the nines, not dress the canine! 1.1136 0.05831 44 40 3 1
6069 You've outgrown your suit. Let Boo-boo wear it. 1.1136 0.04840 44 39 5 0
6070 I told you before we left that we have to go to a different store for your treats. 1.1136 0.04840 44 39 5 0
6071 He'll grow out of it someday, and then you can wear it. 1.1136 0.04840 44 39 5 0
6072 Cheer up, honey. You could be a good boy, too! 1.1136 0.04840 44 39 5 0
6073 Don't worry, it's just outsourcing. He's your best friend. 1.1136 0.04840 44 39 5 0
6074 Now, Peter, don’t be like that. It’s Sir Farnsworth’s day to pick dinner and he wants kibble. PAW, Peter, PAW! 1.1136 0.05831 44 40 3 1
6075 C'mon Donald you can't play President anymore! Bob Oré 1.1136 0.04840 44 39 5 0
6076 Don't be angry son, just because the dachshund is better bred than you are. 1.1136 0.04840 44 39 5 0
6077 I'm insane! 1.1136 0.06676 44 41 1 2
6078 It’s win/win...you wanted a little brother, we wanted Boomer. 1.1136 0.04840 44 39 5 0
6079 I promise, next year you can dress up like a Little Lord Fauntleroy. 1.1136 0.04840 44 39 5 0
6080 Be a good boy and take your furry brother with you. 1.1136 0.04840 44 39 5 0
6081 Who's a good boy for Daddy!?" "Who's a good boy Daddy!? 1.1136 0.05831 44 40 3 1
6082 Don't pout... He's just wearing your old clothes and a diaper. 1.1136 0.04840 44 39 5 0
6083 Mommy’s new hobby is making Pup look ridiculous! YOU finally get to look like Daddy! 1.1136 0.04840 44 39 5 0
6084 I promise I love you and your sister equally. 1.1136 0.04840 44 39 5 0
6085 It's not Tommy's fault, Timmy. We'd buy you new clothes twice a week if you ate through them, too 1.1136 0.04840 44 39 5 0
6086 He gets nicer clothes because he doesn’t talk back. 1.1136 0.04840 44 39 5 0
6087 You need to set an example for your little brother. 1.1136 0.04840 44 39 5 0
6088 Donald, stop now, no! Civilized behavior has its rewards. 1.1136 0.05831 44 40 3 1
6089 I potty trained the dog faster than you...so I've decided to adopt him as my son. You can go live in the doghouse with your mother. 1.1136 0.04840 44 39 5 0
6090 Sorry, we can't go in. The sign says, "no shoes, no service." 1.1136 0.04840 44 39 5 0
6091 Shake... and Stay! Good boy! 1.1136 0.04840 44 39 5 0
6092 What if he agrees to ditch the prep school uniform? 1.1136 0.04840 44 39 5 0
6093 We'll just miss you so much when you go back to school. 1.1136 0.05831 44 40 3 1
6094 Goood boy. First you learn to give hand, and then we go for the suit with a tail. 1.1136 0.04840 44 39 5 0
6095 Don"t be upset Jimmy, the suit didn't fit you anymore! Jeffrey Manly Toronto, On 1.1136 0.04840 44 39 5 0
6096 You were always my favorite, but it looks like now you’re the underdog. 1.1136 0.04840 44 39 5 0
6097 I promise, Aiden ... If you behave as nicely as Poopy, you'll get the same great outfit as he has ... 1.1136 0.05831 44 40 3 1
6098 Great job, Fido! Now let’s let Tommy try it!” 1.1136 0.04840 44 39 5 0
6099 Your suit fits puppy now---don't be mad---you out grw it! 1.1136 0.04840 44 39 5 0
6100 Once you learn to fetch, I will get you the same cute outfit. 1.1136 0.04840 44 39 5 0
6101 Bitches first. 1.1136 0.05831 44 40 3 1
6102 Biscuits are for boys who finish their homework. 1.1136 0.04840 44 39 5 0
6103 Cheer up Brian; you’ve always wanted to have a brother, haven’t you? 1.1136 0.04840 44 39 5 0
6104 Who gets the Most Love 1.1136 0.05831 44 40 3 1
6105 Sometimes life isn't fair Timmy, now give Fido back his 401k and I won't tell your mother. 1.1136 0.04840 44 39 5 0
6106 You can see his mother is a bitch. 1.1136 0.04840 44 39 5 0
6107 Look, I know you wanted a little brother, but this way I get a more successful best friend and you get to learn responsibility, it's win-win. 1.1136 0.04840 44 39 5 0
6108 When you can roll over, sit, and fetch, you’ll get a new outfit too. 1.1136 0.04840 44 39 5 0
6109 johnny test, did you produce a dukey again? SHUT UP DAD! 1.1136 0.04840 44 39 5 0
6110 I promise we'll sign you up for private school too as soon as my next paycheck hits. 1.1136 0.04840 44 39 5 0
6111 Don't be a bully. Bonky's not trying to show you up. He's just making a fashion statement! 1.1136 0.04840 44 39 5 0
6112 Don’t worry, you’ll get the doggie daycare uniform too. 1.1136 0.05831 44 40 3 1
6113 Somebody send this man to work please! 1.1136 0.04840 44 39 5 0
6114 Now, why can't you be like Joey? He's a good boy! 1.1136 0.04840 44 39 5 0
6115 Don't worry, I love you too 1.1136 0.04840 44 39 5 0
6116 Because our dog’s well-behaved, you want to fire him. Who are you? Trump? Lol 1.1136 0.04840 44 39 5 0
6117 Your brother loves those liver treats? 1.1136 0.04840 44 39 5 0
6118 You wanted to sponsor a dog, now hand over the whistle. 1.1136 0.04840 44 39 5 0
6119 I promise, Zach. I love you just as much as I do Lucky. 1.1136 0.04840 44 39 5 0
6120 You’ll be able to walk off a leash when you’re a good boy. 1.1136 0.05831 44 40 3 1
6121 I already know how to sit. Now, where's my treat? 1.1136 0.05831 44 40 3 1
6122 "I think from now on, you'll be fetching the ball." 1.1136 0.04840 44 39 5 0
6123 Now you have a friend who also can't control their bladder. 1.1136 0.04840 44 39 5 0
6124 I love you both equally but he gets more attention as he wins me friends. 1.1136 0.04840 44 39 5 0
6125 '' He's going to teach you algebra, calculus and physics." 1.1136 0.04840 44 39 5 0
6126 I promise, I’ll get you a clothes horse when you’re older! 1.1136 0.04840 44 39 5 0
6127 But by the time Sunday school reopens, you'll have outgrown it anyway. 1.1136 0.04840 44 39 5 0
6128 Now,now....you get your own house! 1.1136 0.04840 44 39 5 0
6129 If you want kibble too, you have to ask nicely. 1.1136 0.04840 44 39 5 0
6130 C'mon Danny , its ok to hate Trump but not all of his supporters 1.1136 0.04840 44 39 5 0
6131 There, there his bark is worse than his bite 1.1136 0.04840 44 39 5 0
6132 C’mon Tommy, Buster has learned the basic obedience commands and so can you! 1.1136 0.04840 44 39 5 0
6133 Oh don't wine please, you're a good boy too. 1.1136 0.04840 44 39 5 0
6134 But,look how cute your brother looks in his outfit ! I am NOT getting a tail ! 1.1136 0.04840 44 39 5 0
6135 If you were a real man like me, he’d be your best friend. 1.1136 0.04840 44 39 5 0
6136 Who wans to go for a walkie! 1.1136 0.04840 44 39 5 0
6137 She has a very definite point of view, and shoes just don't work for her look. 1.1136 0.05831 44 40 3 1
6138 The collar chafes, the shorts are ridiculous and I run faster in shoes, even if he doesn't. So, no. Send the matching outfit back! 1.1136 0.04840 44 39 5 0
6139 I TOLD MOM I WANTED A GERBIL 1.1136 0.05831 44 40 3 1
6140 Now, play nice with your brother or it's back in your crate. 1.1136 0.05831 44 40 3 1
6141 That day, Jingles could answer with confidence: "It's me. I am Daddy's good boy." 1.1136 0.04840 44 39 5 0
6142 See how nice your little brother looks in his new suit? 1.1136 0.04840 44 39 5 0
6143 oh child~ things are gonna get easier~ 1.1136 0.04840 44 39 5 0
6144 Now be nice to your new brother. 1.1136 0.04840 44 39 5 0
6145 I know, I know...but we need to invite ALL the kids to your birthday party! 1.1136 0.04840 44 39 5 0
6146 You've eaten our last 4 weeks of THE New Yorker, bad boy." 1.1136 0.05831 44 40 3 1
6147 His bark is worse than his bite. 1.1136 0.04840 44 39 5 0
6148 You say you're a rescue but you don't dress like a rescue. 1.1136 0.04840 44 39 5 0
6149 Why can't you be more like your brother? He asks for so little and gives so much. 1.1136 0.04840 44 39 5 0
6150 It’s still ‘Jack,’ son. Mom had him attend Patti’s Pretentious Puppy” school. He graduated with honors. 1.1136 0.04840 44 39 5 0
6151 You can have your room back when you come after 1 whistle, like Rover 1.1136 0.04840 44 39 5 0
6152 Sloan, you shouldn’t be irritated that I am spending quality time with Doggy. Afterall, he’s trying hard to fit in with his new family. And he’s younger and smaller than you. 1.1136 0.04840 44 39 5 0
6153 This is not a dog-eat-dog world. I'm sorry, son, and I know you're ready to fight, but it's Fido's time now. 1.1136 0.04840 44 39 5 0
6154 Maybe next year we can afford to send you both to private school. 1.1136 0.05831 44 40 3 1
6155 You’re gonna love your new brother we adopted from Bridgerton 1.1136 0.04840 44 39 5 0
6156 You'll get nice clothes too, as soon as you are toilet trained. 1.1136 0.04840 44 39 5 0
6157 Don't you want to be a good boy like your brother? 1.1136 0.05831 44 40 3 1
6158 You see? If Fido can potty train, so can you! 1.1136 0.04840 44 39 5 0
6159 Buddy, we taught him to "sit," not "sit-in-on-church-with-Mom." 1.1136 0.04840 44 39 5 0
6160 Besides, in 7 or 8 years he'll take a one-way trip to a farm upsate. 1.1136 0.04840 44 39 5 0
6161 Hey, Remember how happy I was when I got that 2 for 1 deal from Bruiser's obedience school. 1.1136 0.04840 44 39 5 0
6162 But son you have out grown the suit we gave to our loyal, faithful & most trusted member of our family, yes, that's right, Fido! 1.1136 0.04840 44 39 5 0
6163 I don't love him more than you, Charlie, I just love his OUTFIT more. 1.1136 0.04840 44 39 5 0
6164 Stop arguing and go get your leash or we'll be late. 1.1136 0.04840 44 39 5 0
6165 Now, now. He's not one of the elite; he's a beagle. 1.1136 0.05831 44 40 3 1
6166 Under Biden and his goons,this guy will have more rights than you do! 1.1136 0.06676 44 41 1 2
6167 Somebody needs to learn how to draw a dog, and I think your head needs to be bigger. 1.1136 0.05831 44 40 3 1
6168 Sure it’s strange, Tommy, but no stranger than US politics has been. 1.1136 0.04840 44 39 5 0
6169 Obediance training worked for Fido. 1.1136 0.04840 44 39 5 0
6170 Got ya! I can finally finish turning you into a dog like your brother. 1.1136 0.05831 44 40 3 1
6171 Face it son, by the time you graduate, A.I. will have made us all obsolete, so I decided to reallocate your college fund to Max's wardrobe. There's one thing they'll never replace: good boys in cute outfits! 1.1136 0.05831 44 40 3 1
6172 You see buddy, it's because I don't like you. 1.1136 0.04840 44 39 5 0
6173 Ok, we can call it Triangle dancing instead 1.1136 0.05831 44 40 3 1
6174 Father's Favorite. 1.1136 0.05831 44 40 3 1
6175 Sorry, Johnny, but Mr. Whiskers shows more potential, so he gets to go to private school, not you. 1.1136 0.04840 44 39 5 0
6176 Jimmy if you are good during your walk today and don't get angry with me--the next time you all get to wear the suit and look handsome as Hugo is looking today: Vipin Bery, Toronto 1.1136 0.04840 44 39 5 0
6177 C'mon, now! We shed those instincts a while back, they say... 1.1136 0.04840 44 39 5 0
6178 But he was trying to obey. I say he is fetching! 1.1136 0.04840 44 39 5 0
6179 One more silly Tweet and you’re next 1.1136 0.05831 44 40 3 1
6180 It's OK. I have a bag for you too! 1.1136 0.05831 44 40 3 1
6181 You're not gonna let Tommy Barnes insult your sister that way, are ya, sport? 1.1136 0.04840 44 39 5 0
6182 Now,Timmy, you'll be back in my will just as soon as you win your Obedience certificate 1.1136 0.05831 44 40 3 1
6183 Now who is a good boy Charlie?! 1.1136 0.05831 44 40 3 1
6184 You've heard of 'puppy love'? 1.1136 0.04840 44 39 5 0
6185 Meet your new dog, 20% better than your old dog. 1.1136 0.04840 44 39 5 0
6186 No, you won't be eating from the same food bowl. 1.1136 0.04840 44 39 5 0
6187 Now who's the bad boy, Timmy? 1.1136 0.04840 44 39 5 0
6188 Don't worry,you'll be housebroken soon. 1.1136 0.04840 44 39 5 0
6189 When you are both leash trained we will go to the toy store, boy. 1.1136 0.04840 44 39 5 0
6190 At least one of you is potty trained 1.1136 0.05831 44 40 3 1
6191 Be a good boy, or you will be a dog. 1.1136 0.05831 44 40 3 1
6192 Johnny, do I have to go get the leash? 1.1136 0.04840 44 39 5 0
6193 “Will you come if I let you post whatever happens at the dog run?” 1.1136 0.04840 44 39 5 0
6194 Didn't I tell you he was a purebred ? 1.1136 0.04840 44 39 5 0
6195 Now Tommy, not everyone is ready for finishing school at the same time. 1.1136 0.04840 44 39 5 0
6196 I want you both to be good boys. 1.1136 0.04840 44 39 5 0
6197 Soon you will catch up on the agility test 1.1136 0.04840 44 39 5 0
6198 Come on Freddy Mo, share the treat with your new brother Benny. 1.1136 0.04840 44 39 5 0
6199 Walk time, Charlie? Come on, be a good boy like Rover and we’ll get you a treat. 1.1136 0.04840 44 39 5 0
6200 Come on, honey, it’s school or Cesar Millan again 1.1136 0.04840 44 39 5 0
6201 You’d get your toy too, if you are a good boy at school! 1.1136 0.04840 44 39 5 0
6202 Listen, Timmy, we were pawrents first. 1.1136 0.04840 44 39 5 0
6203 I guess "Lie down by the end of the first round or else" wasn't in his vocabulary. 1.1136 0.04840 44 39 5 0
6204 I learnt, having a kid and a dog are same thing, during this pandemic.. 1.1136 0.05831 44 40 3 1
6205 Seems like he wants to fetch these hands.. 1.1136 0.04840 44 39 5 0
6206 *You* only get to be called “good boy” once you’ve earned it. 1.1136 0.04840 44 39 5 0
6207 Billy, I don’t have a favorite. 1.1136 0.05831 44 40 3 1
6208 Arthur likes to get dressed up for Google Classroom, Jimmy, but it’s okay, you don’t have to. 1.1136 0.04840 44 39 5 0
6209 You know you can't treat your brother like that....say you're sorry. 1.1136 0.04840 44 39 5 0
6210 he’s here to teach you how to use a can opener 1.1136 0.04840 44 39 5 0
6211 Dog over kid 1.1136 0.04840 44 39 5 0
6212 :You know Mommy Mehgan always has her special sense of fashion ,Archie. 1.1136 0.04840 44 39 5 0
6213 See Donald behave 1.1136 0.05831 44 40 3 1
6214 Don’t worry, your brother’s bark is worse than his bite. 1.1136 0.04840 44 39 5 0
6215 It's the new Norm, we all have to do online training 1.1136 0.04840 44 39 5 0
6216 If he can graduate from (dog) school, so can you! 1.1136 0.04840 44 39 5 0
6217 I’ll love you as much as Sparky when you behave as well as he does 1.1136 0.04840 44 39 5 0
6218 Heel, Sparky. Obedience school will make a good boy of you yet. 1.1136 0.04840 44 39 5 0
6219 Now now, my father did the same with Lassie and we know how that turned out 1.1136 0.04840 44 39 5 0
6220 You said you’ll share your room only with a gent 1.1136 0.04840 44 39 5 0
6221 You have a lot to learn your brother, he's a great good boy! 1.1136 0.04840 44 39 5 0
6222 Son, it’s 2021. Even dogs have the right to express themselves. Don’t worry Miffy will return your favorite outfit when they’re done with it 1.1136 0.04840 44 39 5 0
6223 Learn to Love your pet as family teach your children don't abandon them Is that hard ? Don't get them simple Pet can't Speak be their Voice @newyorkermag @carolitajohnson @newyorkercartoons 1.1136 0.05831 44 40 3 1
6224 The dog only wants your attention, the child wants your everything" 1.1136 0.04840 44 39 5 0
6225 Now, Jimmy, we’ve already discussed that your fur brother looks better in your hand-me-downs than you did. 1.1136 0.04840 44 39 5 0
6226 Young Angus's traumatic childhood had lifelong effect. 1.1136 0.04840 44 39 5 0
6227 Even though both of you are different but daddy loves u both equally 1.1136 0.04840 44 39 5 0
6228 No, he’s not my favorite. I love you both the same. 1.1136 0.04840 44 39 5 0
6229 Well, he does eat all his food, sleeps through the whole night and never needed diapers... On the other hand, you... 1.1136 0.04840 44 39 5 0
6230 Don’t worry, he only had the emotional intelligence of a two year old.. 1.1136 0.04840 44 39 5 0
6231 No sibling rivalry today please 1.1136 0.04840 44 39 5 0
6232 Why can't you be more like my best friend? 1.1136 0.04840 44 39 5 0
6233 Max had learn to quietly outlast Johnny’s tantrums in their fights over wearing the period pieces. 1.1136 0.05831 44 40 3 1
6234 I want that dog's coat daddy, get it for me now.... 1.1136 0.04840 44 39 5 0
6235 You can each pick a game, and take turns, now come on let's go 1.1136 0.04840 44 39 5 0
6236 ‘COVID-19, meet your new brother. You have no reason to be jealous. You’re just as fast as he is.’ 1.1136 0.04840 44 39 5 0
6237 It's okay son, nana and granddad used to call it character building too" 1.1136 0.04840 44 39 5 0
6238 Yeah...all animals are equal....but some are MORE equal, kid. 1.1136 0.04840 44 39 5 0
6239 Now now, what did we discuss? We'll never use the word doggone again! 1.1136 0.04840 44 39 5 0
6240 Heel, Milo, heel. Why can’t you be more like your sister Bella? 1.1136 0.04840 44 39 5 0
6241 I told you, your mom and I are sending the dog to private school because we like him better. 1.1136 0.04840 44 39 5 0
6242 Oh of course, now he’s on two legs! Lets buy him his own shed! Don’t mind me. 1.1136 0.04840 44 39 5 0
6243 ‘Now Timmy, why can’t you be more like your like little brother?’ 1.1136 0.04840 44 39 5 0
6244 I didn’t ask for RBG to come back as our dog either.. but we are where we are. Now smile! 1.1136 0.04840 44 39 5 0
6245 And that my friends is the true story of how my dad & dog switched bodies for a week 1.1136 0.04840 44 39 5 0
6246 Dad, you bought me a cheaper present. 1.1136 0.02751 44 40 4 0
6247 Don’t be upset , the government said $600 extra for each eligible child” 1.1136 0.05831 44 40 3 1
6248 We'll get you a suit, Donald, it's not nice to say he stole it and he's no good and he's cheating and owes you eleven-thousand... 1.1136 0.04840 44 39 5 0
6249 It's a dog eat dog world Billy, we all have to lose our milk teeth. 1.1136 0.04840 44 39 5 0
6250 Yes, I know we were going to save that money for your college tuition. But don’t you think the custom tailoring was worth it? 1.1136 0.04840 44 39 5 0
6251 C'mon, buddy! I was his dog dad for a year before I was confident I could be your boy dad. 1.1136 0.04840 44 39 5 0
6252 Don't worry, you too will go to Harvard 1.1136 0.04840 44 39 5 0
6253 You were right son, getting Rufus was a great idea. All those tantrums were worth it! 1.1136 0.04840 44 39 5 0
6254 Of course I don’t have a favorite, I love you both equally 1.1136 0.04840 44 39 5 0
6255 I can prove I love you best, Malcolm. I don’t even make him wear his mask on our walks. 1.1136 0.04840 44 39 4 0
6256 Get your shit together kid, I just want to be a dog 1.1136 0.04840 44 39 5 0
6257 A good boy knows to share with his brother. 1.1136 0.04840 44 39 5 0
6258 Timmy, I swear, just one more TikTok trend and then I'm done for 2020. 1.1136 0.04840 44 39 5 0
6259 ‘You know Jimmy I love both of your mums, but today is Buddy’s birthday!’ 1.1136 0.04840 44 39 5 0
6260 of course he’s not the favorite son, he can’t even understand what I’m saying right now! 1.1136 0.04840 44 39 5 0
6261 Now who’s a good boy and will share his toys with his brother? 1.1136 0.04840 44 39 5 0
6262 ‘No, honey, I don’t know what it means, either....’ 1.1136 0.04840 44 39 5 0
6263 Oh Donald J., I told you it's simple, if you would have followed the House rules you wouldn't be in the dog house right now. 1.1136 0.05831 44 40 3 1
6264 you will learn loyalty and he shall learn humanity,both are good in its own way" 1.1136 0.04840 44 39 5 0
6265 Respect animals as you respect people 1.1136 0.04840 44 39 5 0
6266 „First come, first serve. Next time he‘ll get to wear the tutu. Now go and change!“ 1.1136 0.04840 44 39 5 0
6267 Have you seen the Dow Jones recently? 1.1136 0.04840 44 39 5 0
6268 I never loved you and now that I have this dog in humans clothes, I know that I never will 1.1136 0.06676 44 41 1 2
6269 Listen Brian, I know you miss the old Toby but she identifies as our daughter now, and you'll be sharing rooms from now on. 1.1136 0.04840 44 39 5 0
6270 Gentrification 1.1136 0.04840 44 39 5 0
6271 In the end, the only one you can ever really please is yourself. 1.1136 0.04840 44 39 5 0
6272 I'll walk you every day too, I promise! 1.1136 0.04840 44 39 5 0
6273 I promise, next year we’ll get you nice new clothes for Christmas, this year we only had enough for one of you, and your brother needed his uniform for his private education. 1.1136 0.04840 44 39 5 0
6274 Be grateful, people can’t afford real kids anymore so we’re humoring your auntie. 1.1136 0.04840 44 39 5 0
6275 « Come oooooon, it’s okay if you can’t wag your tail. » 1.1136 0.04840 44 39 5 0
6276 Oh common, you don't get to make such face, remember you are the elder sibling now. 1.1136 0.04840 44 39 5 0
6277 We'll get you a wayback machine next Christmas 1.1136 0.04840 44 39 5 0
6278 No, it’s cute! Get it? Because you don’t need the school uniform anymore 1.1136 0.04840 44 39 5 0
6279 If we pretend he’s from Spain, he might get adopted by Alec and Hilaria Baldwin and then become famous! 1.1136 0.04840 44 39 5 0
6280 Your preschool’s legacy admission policy makes this Buster’s best chance at a real education, kiddo. 1.1136 0.05831 44 40 3 1
6281 You said you wanted to be an only child, kid. 1.1136 0.04840 44 39 5 0
6282 Don’t worry, I caught him in the middle of a zoom asking to be transferred; seems as though we aren’t his cup of tea 1.1136 0.05831 44 40 3 1
6283 Come on now Billy, it's time you start behaving like your older brother. 1.1136 0.04840 44 39 5 0
6284 He raised on the flop. You shouldn’t have called 1.1136 0.04840 44 39 5 0
6285 Have you been chasing your tail again? 1.1111 0.04738 45 40 5 0
6286 Don't stay mad -- he wants to sniff and make up. 1.1111 0.04738 45 40 5 0
6287 You can have his uniform when he grows out of it. 1.1111 0.04738 45 40 5 0
6288 You can't imagine how tired I am, and you're naughty and intractable. Take an example from the little dog Max of how obedient he is. 1.1111 0.05705 45 41 3 1
6289 Now Billy, if you can be a nice as Roscoe, maybe you can be the favorite son in the family. 1.1111 0.04738 45 40 5 0
6290 Don't start fights with dogs, especially dogs that know jujitsu. 1.1111 0.04738 45 40 5 0
6291 Your right arm is worryingly larger than your left one 1.1111 0.04738 45 40 5 0
6292 It's okay, he doesn't bite. In fact, he's our legal council! 1.1111 0.04738 45 40 5 0
6293 You're still my favorite boy! 1.1111 0.04738 45 40 5 0
6294 See how good Spots is being? 1.1111 0.05705 45 41 3 1
6295 You can get a treat if you behave too. 1.1111 0.04738 45 40 5 0
6296 If you wanted to, we could dress you up as cute as this dog! 1.1111 0.04738 45 40 5 0
6297 Do you want to play fetch in the park? 1.1111 0.04738 45 40 5 0
6298 You know that Fido looks better in solids than you do. 1.1111 0.04738 45 40 5 0
6299 Let's take Laddy for a walk, dog! 1.1111 0.04738 45 40 5 0
6300 Hey, your terrific, but he's my best friend! 1.1111 0.04738 45 40 5 0
6301 You gotta be nice to your new brother or I'll let him chew all your toys. 1.1111 0.04738 45 40 5 0
6302 Remember, I need you to get along with the little doggie. 1.1111 0.05705 45 41 3 1
6303 No! I will not sit! 1.1111 0.04738 45 40 5 0
6304 I keep telling you, Mommy's not coming back. 1.1111 0.04738 45 40 5 0
6305 Aren't you gonna be a good boy, like your cousin Ralphy? 1.1111 0.04738 45 40 5 0
6306 C’mon, Eddie... don’t be embarrassed by our dog. He’s got what you call a ‘pedigree’”. 1.1111 0.04738 45 40 5 0
6307 This is the worst piece of garbage you ever put in print 1.1111 0.04738 45 40 5 0
6308 Well, he'll wear the outfit...You're still my second best friend! 1.1111 0.05705 45 41 3 1
6309 i know he is cute but you are still my little boy. 1.1111 0.04738 45 40 5 0
6310 He’s always going to be man’s best friend. 1.1111 0.04738 45 40 5 0
6311 Going to Obedient School with Spot is going to be fun. 1.1111 0.04738 45 40 5 0
6312 Say “hello” to ur bro. 1.1111 0.05062 54 49 4 1
6313 Cheer up buddy, he will teach you a thing or two 1.1111 0.04738 45 40 5 0
6314 See what happens when you wet the bed? 1.1111 0.05705 45 41 3 1
6315 It’s your year to sleep outside. 1.1111 0.05705 45 41 3 1
6316 But you always said you wanted a little brother! 1.1111 0.05705 45 41 3 1
6317 How about you follow Spot's example and be a good boy? 1.1111 0.04738 45 40 5 0
6318 Hey, at least your mom isn't a b****! 1.1111 0.05705 45 41 3 1
6319 Robbie, you know I love you and your brother equally, but it would be great if you could try a little harder to smile and wag more often - don't be a joykill. 1.1111 0.05705 45 41 3 1
6320 In doggie school classes are in-person. 1.1111 0.04738 45 40 5 0
6321 By the way, that's my dog Charlie, and I'm Max’s father... oh no, you switched on me! This is my son, this is my dog - they switched on me! 1.1111 0.05705 45 41 3 1
6322 It's OK if you are not going to be president this time! 1.1111 0.05705 45 41 3 1
6323 Oh, Darryl...why can't you be a good boy like Junior and just go after the stick when we play fetch? 1.1111 0.04738 45 40 5 0
6324 Last warning, I am only talking to my dog today. 1.1111 0.04738 45 40 5 0
6325 Why don't you behave like your brother 1.1111 0.04738 45 40 5 0
6326 And the best part is his name is Tommy too! 1.1111 0.04738 45 40 5 0
6327 Love it, couldn't wear it. 1.1111 0.04738 45 40 5 0
6328 I 'm sorry but I follow him IG and he was willing to make do a TikTok dance with me! 1.1111 0.04738 45 40 5 0
6329 Bobby. Did you call your sister a dog? 1.1111 0.04738 45 40 5 0
6330 Jeff, please stop calling Fido a sissy. He just dresses more formally than you. 1.1111 0.04738 45 40 5 0
6331 Sparky is just dressed for the dog's dinner. 1.1111 0.04738 45 40 5 0
6332 That's a doggie suit. It's not for little boys. 1.1111 0.04738 45 39 5 0
6333 Hey Bob, whatcha’ up to? Is this your friend? 1.1111 0.04738 45 40 5 0
6334 Theres something wrong with that one... I just cant put my finger on it 1.1111 0.04738 45 40 5 0
6335 Adam ! Are you okay kid ? 1.1111 0.04738 45 40 5 0
6336 Don’t pull that ‘type of years’ card again, you’ll get to when you’re 14 too. 1.1111 0.04738 45 40 5 0
6337 Me and mommy are just excited that he gets to see someone who looks like him in the White House again. 1.1111 0.05705 45 41 3 1
6338 But little buddy, why don’t you like Fauntleroy? 1.1111 0.04738 45 40 5 0
6339 You said you wanted someone around the same height as you to play with. 1.1111 0.04738 45 40 5 0
6340 #loveisafourleggedword 🐩🐩🐩🐩🐩🌴🌴🌴 1.1111 0.04738 45 40 5 0
6341 Don't worry son, it's yours as soon as he grows out of it 1.1111 0.04738 45 40 5 0
6342 Junior, why can’t you be more like our pandemic puppy? 1.1111 0.04738 45 40 5 0
6343 People respond better to pet interruptions rather than those of the human variety. 1.1111 0.04738 45 40 5 0
6344 I wish i have two good boys. 1.1111 0.05705 45 41 3 1
6345 You Love Little Lord Fauntleroy more than me! 1.1111 0.04738 45 40 5 0
6346 He gets more treats just because! 1.1111 0.04738 45 40 5 0
6347 Morgan can you just try to be nice to your new dog dad? 1.1111 0.04738 45 40 5 0
6348 We got him at the humane society, that's why... 1.1111 0.04738 45 40 5 0
6349 ‘Ohhh jimmy I hear you, but you know we have to listen what Mama says: First we drop Buddy at school and then we go potty at the park!’ 1.1111 0.04738 45 40 5 0
6350 You're a good boi too 🐾 1.1111 0.04738 45 40 5 0
6351 They always say the second born is more challenging 1.1111 0.04738 45 40 5 0
6352 Don’t worry son! You’re a good boy, too! 1.1087 0.04640 46 41 5 0
6353 More distemper than a damn mutt? 1.1087 0.05585 46 42 3 1
6354 You don’t have to call her Mom if you don’t want to. 1.1087 0.04640 46 41 5 0
6355 Harry,you have to understand that William the dog is the first born. 1.1087 0.04640 46 41 5 0
6356 I always knew my mother was a bitch. 1.1087 0.05585 46 42 3 1
6357 He was a rare single puppy litter so he’s had plenty of social distance. He doesn’t need a mask. 1.1087 0.04640 46 41 5 0
6358 You’re too old for short pants, Tommy. 1.1087 0.04640 46 41 5 0
6359 You will get your treat too. 1.1087 0.04640 46 41 5 0
6360 your mother and i will pick you up after the movie 1.1087 0.04640 46 41 5 0
6361 The dog days are CLEARLY not over. 1.1087 0.05585 46 42 3 1
6362 No worries, we'll call him Lil' Lord - you'll always be my Big Rex! 1.1042 0.05359 48 44 3 1
6363 Liam, this is your new step-dog Pepper. 1.1042 0.04456 48 43 5 0
6364 You can get this suit when you learn to poop outside! 1.1020 0.04369 49 44 5 0
6365 Remember,we’re all in this together! 1.1000 0.05151 50 46 3 1
6366 Don’t be angry that I adopted an animal that acts just like you. 1.0976 0.04692 41 37 4 0
6367 As soon as the holidays are over, you’ll be our favourite again. 1.0976 0.04692 41 37 4 0
6368 Mind your manners, I said! Obviously only one of you listened. 1.0976 0.04692 41 37 4 0
6369 Maybe if you keep practicing, you'll be able to lick yours too one day. 1.0976 0.05849 41 38 2 1
6370 Timmy, a lot of rock and roll bands went to obedience school. 1.0976 0.04692 41 37 4 0
6371 Jeremy, please accept your new brother Roscoe. He helps enormously since I have been blinded by the pandemic. 1.0976 0.04692 41 37 4 0
6372 C'mon, Dennis--no need to be angry at Muppy Puppy. His bark is worse than his bite, and YOUR bite is worse than your bark, so you're even! 1.0976 0.04692 41 37 4 0
6373 Online class is for everyone. She can't help it that she's just really smart, can she? 1.0976 0.04692 41 37 4 0
6374 Get woke, son - all the outfits come in twos - and equality demands rehoming is not just for pets… 1.0976 0.04692 41 37 4 0
6375 Now, Goofus, remember: we did this because you said it wasn't fair to compare you to Gallant all the time. 1.0976 0.04692 41 37 4 0
6376 Wipe that pout off your face Joey,I could probably pull some strings and get you into obedience school too. 1.0976 0.04692 41 37 4 0
6377 I didn't want to switch--I WANNA lick my pee pee! 1.0976 0.05849 41 38 2 1
6378 Even though I’m Your step-father, I still like you and I want you to like Raymond. 1.0976 0.04692 41 37 4 0
6379 ALEXA, REMIND ME AT 3PM THAT DOMINOS (THE PIZZA TAKEOUT CHAIN )EXISTS! 1.0976 0.04692 41 37 4 0
6380 Don't worry, Digby doesn't bite unless he's holding a fork and knife. 1.0976 0.04692 41 37 4 0
6381 Be a “good boy” and you can have a suit. 1.0976 0.04692 41 37 4 0
6382 Now, Timmy, I know you weren't exactly excited to bring a brother to school with you, but there's no need to bark at me. 1.0976 0.05849 41 38 2 1
6383 Like it or not he's your new pet brother. 1.0976 0.04692 41 37 4 0
6384 You'll love obedience school. It will make you a good boy like Rex. 1.0976 0.04692 41 37 4 0
6385 You said if I ate all of my peas, I would get to play as John Proctor! 1.0976 0.04692 41 37 4 0
6386 A man, bent in the knees and in the torso, holds with one hand the hand of a small angry child wearing a stripey shirt, and with the other--an outstretched paw of a confused small dog dressed in a formal outfit, tail sticking to the side. 1.0976 0.05849 41 38 2 1
6387 How about this? If you do decide dress up like him, I'll treat you both to a seat for Best in Show. Deal?". 1.0976 0.04692 41 37 4 0
6388 Why can't you be contented, like your dog-brother? 1.0976 0.04692 41 37 4 0
6389 Sorry Jimmy, I know you've been feeling ignored, but stabbing is not the answer to your problems" 1.0976 0.04692 41 37 4 0
6390 Your the one who said, " I want a little sister ". 1.0976 0.04692 41 37 4 0
6391 I know you want to be on TV but it was Fluffy who made friends with a wombat. 1.0976 0.04692 41 37 4 0
6392 Hey, it doesn't mean you're being walked . . .but there's a leash available if you'd prefer . . . 1.0976 0.04692 41 37 4 0
6393 Oh, come on. In dog years he’s your older brother. And besides, you grew out of it too. 1.0976 0.04692 41 37 4 0
6394 Now be a good boy like Sparky 1.0976 0.05849 41 38 2 1
6395 Be a good boy. And I 1.0976 0.05849 41 38 2 1
6396 Donald, can't you be more like your brother 1.0976 0.04692 41 37 4 0
6397 The first son looks like dad,and the second takes after mom. Thatr.com 1.0976 0.04692 41 37 4 0
6398 I’m sorry I only have two tickets to the Mr. Brownstone show and I’d rather take my freak dog son instead. 1.0976 0.04692 41 37 4 0
6399 You’re gonna look like a fool if that’s what you’re wearing to grandma’s funeral 1.0976 0.04692 41 37 4 0
6400 if you don’t stop crying you’re going to get a bath 1.0976 0.04692 41 37 4 0
6401 Sorry, but if we all can’t have chocolate then none of us gets chocolate. 1.0976 0.04692 41 37 4 0
6402 You'll get a nice suit when you learn to heel. 1.0976 0.04692 41 37 4 0
6403 I love you both the same.... really!!! 1.0976 0.04692 41 37 4 0
6404 You didn’t like the suit with shorts, and he’s been very good boy! 1.0976 0.04692 41 36 4 0
6405 Stop fooling around and behave more like your brother. See, he's a good boy. 1.0976 0.04692 41 37 4 0
6406 Like I said, ‘she was the bitch I wanted.” 1.0976 0.04692 41 37 4 0
6407 He gets more toys because he wears a suit even if he does eat them. 1.0976 0.04692 41 37 4 0
6408 Don't be so mad just because he said your outfit 'wasn't fit for a dog.' 1.0976 0.04692 41 37 4 0
6409 This is the nice kind of a dog on two 1.0976 0.04692 41 37 4 0
6410 No Andrew...I've spent the past 6500 consecutive hours with BOTH of you...I don't love toasty any more than I love you, it's just...things have changed. 1.0976 0.04692 41 37 4 0
6411 Hey man!Leave me alone I walk on four and you! you are stuck on just two! 1.0976 0.04692 41 37 4 0
6412 We'll buy you an ice cream after we get Sir Pawselot some new oxfords. 1.0976 0.04692 41 37 4 0
6413 Be a sportsman, little dude! - If this little bitch can do it, maybe so can you! 1.0976 0.05849 41 38 2 1
6414 He’ll be your best friend after your Bar Mitzvah. 1.0976 0.04692 41 37 4 0
6415 That's OK. You don't have to wear a suit when we go out for a walk. 1.0976 0.04692 41 37 4 0
6416 No Daddy, I don't want ice cream. I want to be your favorite son again ! 1.0976 0.04692 41 37 4 0
6417 1. Kids reflect their world that 2. Look at your brother my son to be cool 1.0976 0.04692 41 37 4 0
6418 Anthropomorphize is such a big word, do you know what it means? 1.0976 0.04692 41 37 4 0
6419 Not knowing that Sparky had a New Year's resolution of his own, does not excuse you from your promise to walk him every day. 1.0976 0.05849 41 38 2 1
6420 Seriously has it really come to this? 1.0976 0.04692 41 37 4 0
6421 C'mon. Give him a high paw! 1.0976 0.04692 41 37 4 0
6422 hey, I put both of you in the trunk of the car and when I opened the trunk, he was happy to see me. What's wrong with you? 1.0976 0.04692 41 37 4 0
6423 C'mon, buddy. You know it's Pointers turn to bring home the bacon. 1.0976 0.04692 41 37 4 0
6424 Joey, if you don't behave, you'll have to go to obedience school, like your little brother. 1.0976 0.04692 41 37 4 0
6425 But he learned obedience quicker than you. 1.0976 0.04692 41 37 4 0
6426 It's only a few months kid! 1.0976 0.04692 41 37 4 0
6427 Mimi’s going to puppy kindergarten so she can learn how not to chew your Legos. 1.0976 0.04692 41 37 4 0
6428 We signed you up for obedience school with Rufus, so you can be a good boy, too. 1.0976 0.04692 41 37 4 0
6429 I'm sorry that you could not go to the Woodhouse school to teach good behavior....but you can go next week if you like? 1.0976 0.04692 41 37 4 0
6430 Well, yes, Max is neutered, but you can behave too. 1.0976 0.04692 41 37 4 0
6431 Just keep trying, OK Tommy? Look what online training has done for Snickers. 1.0976 0.04692 41 37 4 0
6432 ? "With your foot go tap tap tap...." ? 1.0976 0.04692 41 37 4 0
6433 I told you to be kind to your two legged friends 1.0976 0.04692 41 37 4 0
6434 You need a timeout. Millie doesn't beg for anyone. 1.0976 0.04692 41 37 4 0
6435 Arf! Arf! Arf! Ha hah ahahahahaha! 1.0976 0.04692 41 37 4 0
6436 Suck it up kiddo... or Patches goes to 3rd grade instead of you! 1.0976 0.04692 41 37 4 0
6437 You want to be a 'good boy' don't you? 1.0976 0.04692 41 37 4 0
6438 Son, I know going back to school is a pet peeve of yours, but at least you don't have to wear a uniform. 1.0976 0.05849 41 38 2 1
6439 Other than the butt sniffing, why can't you be more like Buster? 1.0976 0.04692 41 37 4 0
6440 Come on son you and rufus need to come with me to the store 1.0976 0.04692 41 37 4 0
6441 I thought I'm special 1.0976 0.04692 41 37 4 0
6442 Now play nicely with your bitch sister. 1.0976 0.04692 41 37 4 0
6443 Click and treat" has been partially successful 1.0976 0.04692 41 37 4 0
6444 Where's my leash? I want my leash. 1.0976 0.05849 41 38 2 1
6445 No, really. 1.0976 0.04692 41 37 4 0
6446 Well the adoption agency said I can only go home with one, but her cute outfit AND Megan's Law kinda made the choice for me. 1.0976 0.04692 41 37 4 0
6447 And in the long run, you'll enjoy it obedience school as much as Poochy did 1.0976 0.04692 41 37 4 0
6448 It's OK to be proud, son, you just can't fight right with might! 1.0976 0.04692 41 37 4 0
6449 What are YOU so mad about? At least you get to wear a t-shirt and jeans. 1.0976 0.04692 41 37 4 0
6450 Oh come on son, he's just like one of the family, like a brother. 1.0976 0.04692 41 37 4 0
6451 It’s really that simple Johnny. Just take this treat, go to the bathroom and then smile for me.” David B. Smith Miami Beach, F 1.0976 0.04692 41 37 4 0
6452 Sorry, Ronnie, but you'll still inherit half my estate. 1.0976 0.04692 41 37 4 0
6453 Let's repeat it: You have a brother. He is 6 years old, and daddy takes care of you both. 1.0976 0.04692 41 37 4 0
6454 Be nice! You know she was adopted! 1.0976 0.04692 41 37 4 0
6455 C'mon Mitch, look how well Mike P plays with the big boys 1.0976 0.04692 41 37 4 0
6456 He's says he's perfectly willing to stand but he absolutely refuses to lay down and roll over. 1.0976 0.04692 41 37 4 0
6457 Don’t worry. Only the dog has to wear granny’s clothes on a time out. 1.0976 0.04692 41 37 4 0
6458 This "dressing up dogs" bullsh*t is getting ridiculous. -the kid 1.0976 0.05849 41 38 2 1
6459 Of course I love you, Johnny. Now just wear the dog's outfit so that I can love you equally. 1.0976 0.04692 41 37 4 0
6460 Who’s the good boy, he says, who’s daddy’s good boy? Are ya hearing me here, folks? 1.0976 0.04692 41 37 4 0
6461 This is His Majesty's kid from Kew Pray tell me, son, are you mine too ? 1.0976 0.04692 41 37 4 0
6462 You must accept the fact that your sister is a bitch. 1.0976 0.04692 41 37 4 0
6463 I promise I don't have a favorite child. 1.0976 0.04692 41 37 4 0
6464 Mamma mia, why can’t you behave? Look how good mannered Scott is! 1.0976 0.04692 41 37 4 0
6465 C'mon, little buddy, sing along: 'I fetched for you, now it's your turn to fetch for me.' 1.0976 0.04692 41 37 4 0
6466 You know you never liked 1.0976 0.05849 41 38 2 1
6467 Yes, Benny, I do love you. It's just that Scotty's breath smells better, and he's more well behaved. 1.0976 0.04692 41 37 4 0
6468 There,there little Donny, playtime is over. Uncle Sam has to bring you and your pal Mikey back home now. 1.0976 0.05849 41 38 2 1
6469 I'm telling you, Daisy is a human being, you've got to believe me. 1.0976 0.04692 41 37 4 0
6470 Cheer up! You'll get your own suit when you learn to walk on tippy toes. 1.0976 0.04692 41 37 4 0
6471 Now be a good boy like your brother Fluffy and I’ll give you a treat 1.0976 0.04692 41 37 4 0
6472 I know it was your favorite outfit but you outgrew it, so now Buffy can wear it and be just like you. 1.0976 0.04692 41 37 4 0
6473 Don't be mad, Billy. Sasha does get all the obedience school awards, but someday you'll be the one going to college. 1.0976 0.04692 41 37 4 0
6474 Look at Chester, he never wags the dog. 1.0976 0.04692 41 37 4 0
6475 There's no need to pout. They'll be yours when he's outgrown them. 1.0976 0.04692 41 37 4 0
6476 Sure we can custom-tailor your pants, but first you will need to grow a tail. 1.0976 0.04692 41 37 4 0
6477 Timmy off to school you go! I have a zoom meeting at 9 am, We are going to show off our fur babies at Home. 1.0976 0.04692 41 37 4 0
6478 Yes, he’s adopted but you were the accident. 1.0976 0.05849 41 38 2 1
6479 I don’t know how many times I need to tell you that you cannot greet the neighbors by licking them! 1.0976 0.04692 41 37 4 0
6480 You be a good boy now. 1.0976 0.04692 41 37 4 0
6481 It's a dog-eat-dog world out there. Mr. Taillywag would never make it without a disguise. 1.0976 0.04692 41 37 4 0
6482 Your brother is not a dog, Tommy. And your mother is not a b-! 1.0976 0.05849 41 38 2 1
6483 What Happened? Its for the equality!! 1.0976 0.04692 41 37 4 0
6484 If Buddy can get dressed in his uniform and attend doggie daycare that’s still open during a pandemic, then you can at least change into something clean for Zoom calls with your classmates, Oliver. C’mon I’ll even let you sit in the fire escape! 1.0976 0.05849 41 38 2 1
6485 Buddy, meet your lifetime brother here. You guys will get along like 20 & 21. No worries.😉 1.0976 0.05849 41 38 2 1
6486 At least we didn’t name you after a character from ‘Game of Thrones’. 1.0976 0.04692 41 37 4 0
6487 I do not make the rules, there can only be one Junior in the family 1.0976 0.04692 41 37 4 0
6488 Go on, Milo! Show Diana some empathy by standing on four legs” 1.0976 0.04692 41 37 4 0
6489 „Hey, Nick! Stop chasing your tail.“ 1.0976 0.04692 41 37 4 0
6490 I'm sorry you don't like being our "skin dog", but he's an adult now. "Fur baby" is demeaning. 1.0976 0.04692 41 37 4 0
6491 Remember this when you're asked to draw your childhood trauma for the 1.0976 0.04692 41 37 4 0
6492 Can you believe how much more attention she's getting than you! 1.0976 0.04692 41 37 4 0
6493 One paw at a time. 1.0976 0.04692 41 37 4 0
6494 Fido isn't complaining about wearing pants again. 1.0976 0.04692 41 37 4 0
6495 Come on buddy, now obey to my rules!! Huh, who's a good boy? 1.0976 0.04692 41 37 4 0
6496 I’m not partaking in your memes in 2021! 1.0976 0.04692 41 37 4 0
6497 I get that you’re angry with me for giving him treats for getting dressed, but at least I’m not bean-dad. 1.0976 0.04692 41 37 4 0
6498 Sorry, son. The sign says ‘Pups,’ not ‘preschoolers,’ allowed on the patio 1.0976 0.04692 41 37 4 0
6499 If it was up to me, you’d both get new clothes for Christmas. But isn’t Duke’s fit 🔥🔥🔥? 1.0976 0.04692 41 37 4 0
6500 He was potty trained at 16 weeks, can you beat that tommy? 1.0976 0.04692 41 37 4 0
6501 First Stuart Little, now this? 1.0976 0.04692 41 37 4 0
6502 Don’t you want to dress as chicly as Dad??? 1.0976 0.04692 41 37 4 0
6503 It’s ok Donny, you can’t always win. At least you still have your dog wife Melania. 1.0976 0.04692 41 37 4 0
6504 When are you having kids?" They said... Come on, off to your grandparents' 1.0976 0.05849 41 38 2 1
6505 Son, please behave! I told you, this is the new normal now. Oh, yeah...I know...but you’ll get used to it...eventually. 1.0976 0.04692 41 37 4 0
6506 No, I think they're making fun of you, not your well behaved brother. 1.0976 0.04692 41 37 4 0
6507 How many times do I have to tell you, Billy, that your version of ‘rough housing’ and his version of ‘ruff housing’ are two very different things. 1.0976 0.05849 41 38 2 1
6508 Let’s _all_ be good boys today. 1.0976 0.04692 41 37 4 0
6509 First two vaccine shots, then human friend time 1.0976 0.04692 41 37 4 0
6510 There’s not enough room. You’re going to sleep outside going forward. 1.0976 0.04692 41 37 4 0
6511 Sure, you lost, but you went the full ten rounds and isn’t that what matters? 1.0976 0.04692 41 37 4 0
6512 Henry, TikTok is gonna need you to lead this time; cha cha is two quick steps - One, Two, Three, Quick-Quick! If this is gonna go viral, we’re gonna need you both to really sell it. 1.0976 0.04692 41 37 4 0
6513 # meet my new friend doggy 1.0976 0.05849 41 38 2 1
6514 He’s a pandemic dog. He can’t help it. 1.0976 0.05849 41 38 2 1
6515 What?! think he’ll be good material for your common app essay. 1.0976 0.04692 41 37 4 0
6516 All the kids at school make fun of my little weiner! 1.0976 0.04692 41 37 4 0
6517 Mark, don't be jealous! You will be able to walk with Ron's strap! 1.0976 0.04692 41 37 4 0
6518 That bowl wasn’t meant for you. Now why don’t we get you something else to eat? 1.0976 0.04692 41 37 4 0
6519 Well, I can mash potato ... well, I can do the twist. Come on son, you can dance better than those robots. 1.0976 0.05849 41 38 2 1
6520 Don’t worry, Timmy. He may be a good boy, but I promise that you’re my great boy! 1.0976 0.04692 41 37 4 0
6521 I know you were a big brother last year, but this is just how things work. 1.0952 0.04584 42 38 4 0
6522 Do I have to start biting you to be sent to a good school? 1.0952 0.04584 42 38 4 0
6523 Timmy, a dog is a man's-er-boys best friend! 1.0952 0.05712 42 39 2 1
6524 When you learn to behave, I will dress you up too.. 1.0952 0.04584 42 38 4 0
6525 Go ahead Big Fido, shake hands with your little brother, he only wants you to play dress-up...nicely that is... 1.0952 0.04584 42 38 4 0
6526 C'mon Mikey, if Buster can do a back flip, you bet your ass - you can too. 1.0952 0.04584 42 38 4 0
6527 Heck Timmy, he s a solid 14/10. 1.0952 0.04584 42 38 4 0
6528 People already think we look weird, kid - we have no irises! 1.0952 0.04584 42 38 4 0
6529 Who’s a good dog? You’re a good dog. Yes you are Tommy. 1.0952 0.04584 42 38 4 0
6530 C'mon Bob, behave like a good boy and let's visit the kennel club together. 1.0952 0.04584 42 38 4 0
6531 But Honey, youve' ou 1.0952 0.04584 42 38 4 0
6532 Charlie, he may not be the pony you wanted for Christmas, but play nice and Georgy Porgy will soon be your new best friend. 1.0952 0.04584 42 38 4 0
6533 Hhhhh 1.0952 0.04584 42 38 4 0
6534 Little Buddy, of course I don't have favorites 1.0952 0.04584 42 38 4 0
6535 We know we can’t all be rescue dogs. 1.0952 0.04584 42 38 4 0
6536 You’re still my Big Boy even if Prince is 14 in dog years! 1.0952 0.04584 42 38 4 0
6537 Look on the plus side, Blain -- targeted admissions can't deny your legacy seat at St. Grottlesex Online! 1.0952 0.05712 42 39 2 1
6538 I love you less than I love my weird fucked-up dog son. 1.0952 0.04584 42 38 4 0
6539 Maybe he would fetch a ball if we hit it with a cricket bat. 1.0952 0.04584 42 38 4 0
6540 I dressed the dog up in human clothes. Why are you so pissed? 1.0952 0.05712 42 39 2 1
6541 I know you’re angry son, but after Fido here , daddy loves YOU the best. 1.0952 0.04584 42 38 4 0
6542 But he ain't nothing but a hound dog! 1.0952 0.04584 42 38 4 0
6543 C'mon. I didn't make YOU dress up. You don't see Sparky complaining, do ya? 1.0952 0.04584 42 38 4 0
6544 Tommy, I know that it seems like Steven gets all my love and attentio 1.0952 0.04584 42 38 4 0
6545 Now we're going to learn to fetch. 1.0952 0.04584 42 38 4 0
6546 It’s a dog eat dog world out there 1.0952 0.04584 42 38 4 0
6547 I'm sorry I called you my "skin dog" 1.0952 0.04584 42 38 4 0
6548 On the other hand Bob Karsh 1.0952 0.04584 42 38 4 0
6549 He was better catching a ball, that's why he got the new outfit. 1.0952 0.04584 42 38 4 0
6550 He’s potty trained. 1.0952 0.05712 42 39 2 1
6551 His bark is worse than your bite. 1.0952 0.04584 42 38 4 0
6552 Everyone in our family starts obee school at your age. 1.0952 0.04584 42 38 4 0
6553 Sorry Billy, but in the sake of fairness, we had to remove yours too 1.0952 0.04584 42 38 4 0
6554 And you will get your very own doghouse if you swap rooms 1.0952 0.05712 42 39 2 1
6555 Look at it this way, your sister could have been a real bitch. 1.0952 0.04584 42 38 4 0
6556 Now, Bobby, you need to play nice with your puppy-brother! 1.0952 0.05712 42 39 2 1
6557 Come on, Ethan. You know that Oscar's been doing a great job with home schooling this semester; he really earned his wardrobe upgrade. I love you both; you know that ! 1.0952 0.05712 42 39 2 1
6558 If you continue to complain, I will beat the crap out of you. 1.0952 0.04584 42 38 4 0
6559 That's the job I wanted." Sam Gabel, Norcross, Georgia 1.0952 0.04584 42 38 4 0
6560 Come on! Dogs-R- Us is having a big sale. 1.0952 0.05712 42 39 2 1
6561 You and your dog brother are gonna have to fuck my ass 1.0952 0.04584 42 38 4 0
6562 Why pout? I've been very upfront with you that I love the dog more than you. 1.0952 0.04584 42 38 4 0
6563 Remember, you told me you wanted to go out? 1.0952 0.05712 42 39 2 1
6564 You'll always be the oldest in human years. 1.0952 0.05712 42 39 2 1
6565 whos's a good boy, you baby boy, cutie tootie, sweet darling snuggle muffin love love. 1.0952 0.04584 42 38 4 0
6566 Say hi to your new mother! 1.0952 0.04584 42 38 4 0
6567 When you learn to fetch, you’ll be a good boy, too 1.0952 0.04584 42 38 4 0
6568 Sorry, son, *he* won't grow out of them. 1.0952 0.04584 42 38 4 0
6569 It's OK. Make up now...we will get you shorts and a peter pan collar tomorrow. 1.0952 0.04584 42 38 4 0
6570 We know how hard 2020 was, son. Look at your sister’s outfit, she loved it ... couldn’t wear it. @tikatheiggy 1.0952 0.04584 42 38 4 0
6571 You can pick out his outfit the next time. 1.0952 0.04584 42 38 4 0
6572 Puppers vs. Doggos 1.0952 0.04584 42 38 4 0
6573 Be nice to your brother, he’s had a ruff day. 1.0952 0.05712 42 39 2 1
6574 Two barks don't make a right 1.0952 0.04584 42 38 4 0
6575 I already told you, there are no favorites in this family. 1.0952 0.04584 42 38 4 0
6576 I know it’s been a rough year for you. But, for your brother, 2020 has been the best year ever. 1.0952 0.04584 42 38 4 0
6577 Come on now, you still have your other pair of sneakers 1.0952 0.04584 42 38 4 0
6578 If you're ever in trouble, just point your finger at him. He's a good boy. 1.0952 0.04584 42 37 4 0
6579 . Little Johnny, Fido here tells me your.... @cristinagracia7 finish the caption 1.0952 0.04584 42 38 4 0
6580 Don’t worry, along with social security, 10% of the inheritance for your retirement will be plenty 1.0952 0.04584 42 38 4 0
6581 Come on, Hindley. Say hello to your new brother, Heathcliff. You're going to be the best of friends. 1.0952 0.04584 42 38 4 0
6582 I know you can do it Billy; say you’re sorry to your brother... 1.0952 0.04584 42 38 4 0
6583 When only one of your children appreciates going for a walk. 1.0952 0.04584 42 38 4 0
6584 Follow my lead and one day, you too will be an accomplished grown man like Daddy. 1.0930 0.04482 43 39 4 0
6585 Com'on don't be a p*ssy ! 1.0930 0.04482 43 39 4 0
6586 Jimmy, eventually you’ll grow into the suit. 1.0930 0.05582 43 40 2 1
6587 Why does he get a tail? 1.0930 0.04482 43 39 4 0
6588 Who's Daddy's goog boy? 1.0930 0.04482 43 39 4 0
6589 So you see, Jeremy, calling your half-brother a son-of-a-bitch isn't so much an insult as it is a simple statement of fact. To wit, I fucked a literal dog, you son-of-a-whore. 1.0930 0.05582 43 40 2 1
6590 I think what your sister is trying to say, is that it's when you call her "a bitch" in that TONE, is when she feels attacked, buddy. 1.0930 0.05582 43 40 2 1
6591 One arf-stop Two arfs-you can cross the street Three arfs-you are on your own 1.0930 0.04482 43 39 4 0
6592 It is nice, don't mind orthodog dress. 1.0930 0.05582 43 40 2 1
6593 Come on and sing it: We the People.... 1.0930 0.05582 43 40 2 1
6594 It’s just doggie styling. 1.0930 0.04482 43 39 4 0
6595 He can be your friend as well as your competitor. 1.0930 0.05582 43 40 2 1
6596 As soon as you learn to obey you can be mans best friend again Or In dog years he “is” your older brother 1.0930 0.04482 43 39 4 0
6597 hey son meet the new addition to our family, his name is... 1.0930 0.04482 43 39 4 0
6598 Now it's only fair, if we're gonna teach your dog to act like a human, then you're gonna have to act like a dog, so Shake, Good boy! 1.0930 0.05582 43 40 2 1
6599 Cheer up, Son. Someday I'll cut a hole in your pants just like Reginald's. 1.0930 0.05582 43 40 2 1
6600 Stop calling your only friend a Limey! 1.0930 0.04482 43 39 4 0
6601 Mikey, you said you would walk him every day. 1.0930 0.04482 43 39 4 0
6602 It's true Eddie, you really are the son of a bitch. 1.0930 0.05582 43 40 2 1
6603 Sorry Russell, I old you this was a dog day afternoon 1.0930 0.05582 43 40 2 1
6604 Now don't be jealous. You know he's the top dog in the family. 1.0930 0.04482 43 39 4 0
6605 You should behave like your younger step-brother. 1.0930 0.04482 43 39 4 0
6606 From now I'll be Papa and he'll be Puppy" 1.0930 0.04482 43 39 4 0
6607 Too bad you're not dressed up as nice as the dog. 1.0930 0.04482 43 39 4 0
6608 ...and in a few years, you'll get HIS hand-me-downs. 1.0930 0.04482 43 39 4 0
6609 I’ll roll over if you behave. 1.0930 0.04482 43 39 4 0
6610 Who's a good boy, huh? Who's a good boy? 1.0930 0.04482 43 39 4 0
6611 Get over yourself, today is his day. 1.0930 0.04482 43 39 4 0
6612 now now son, you cannot have a tail. 1.0930 0.04482 43 39 4 0
6613 Timmy, come meet your new virtual school supervisor Mr. Woof Woof. He comes highly recommended. 1.0930 0.04482 43 39 4 0
6614 Okay Timmy, please behave in front of your new au pair, Mr.Sniffles has a very extensive barkground in education. 1.0930 0.04482 43 39 4 0
6615 I can't wait until I'm big enough to punch this guy. 1.0930 0.04482 43 39 4 0
6616 Now come on Bobby, you know Sammy was desperate for a walk... 1.0930 0.04482 43 39 4 0
6617 Don’t worry Rex, he’s the bad boy! 1.0930 0.05582 43 40 2 1
6618 They ain't aaways the same! 1.0930 0.05582 43 40 2 1
6619 I’m sorry Timmy, but there can only be one winner. 1.0930 0.04482 43 39 4 0
6620 Fuzzy wuzzy was a bear, fuzzy wuzzy had no hair, fuzzy wuzzy wasn’t fuzzy! Was he? 1.0930 0.04482 43 39 4 0
6621 Come on, no one's going to dog you. 1.0930 0.05582 43 40 2 1
6622 You're a good boy too, and I love you both 1.0930 0.05582 43 40 2 1
6623 Rufus just because I give Daniel treats all of the time and tell him he’s a good boy doesn’t mean you’re not a good boy or I dislike you. Thinks to self “I just like him more.” 1.0930 0.05582 43 40 2 1
6624 Now Tommy, give Throckmorton a treat and apologize for pulling his tail. 1.0909 0.05458 44 41 2 1
6625 Yes.... but we got you insurance where you only pay for what you need. 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
6626 Sweetheart, this isn't the kind of hotdog you can eat. 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
6627 Billy,I said heal 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
6628 Go on,we'll pick you up after Piano Paws. 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
6629 Now, be nice to your dog sister. You’ll cherish her one day. 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
6630 GOOD TMES AHEAD 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
6631 Don't worry, you get the pee-pads. 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
6632 Son, meet our new addition to the family Rover! 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
6633 Look at Timmy. Timmy likes his magic clothes! Timmy likes being turned into a dog! 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
6634 No Timmy, I don't love the dog more than you. 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
6635 Come on, let's show them our renegade! 1.0909 0.05458 44 41 2 1
6636 But I’m the good boy. 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
6637 You’re going to love obedience school son. It did wonders for Pierre La Pup! 1.0909 0.05458 44 41 2 1
6638 Be nice to him, he may give you the dress later 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
6639 You would be my favorite child once you learn how to go potty outside, too. 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
6640 C'mon. Teach him your TikTok dance. 1.0889 0.04290 45 41 4 0
6641 Now why cant I be on 4 legs? 1.0889 0.04290 45 41 4 0
6642 Lucas, relax. You're going to love this son of a bitch 1.0889 0.04290 45 41 4 0
6643 When you learn to obey like Buster, you too can dress up. 1.0889 0.04290 45 41 4 0
6644 You treat the dog more like your son than me😩 1.0889 0.04290 45 41 4 0
6645 Why are you upset? If I love you both equally, that means I'm being fair and balanced! 1.0889 0.04290 45 41 4 0
6646 He's somewhat close to what you say you wanted, right? 1.0870 0.04200 46 42 4 0
6647 He bought it with his own money son, something called OnlyPaws? 1.0870 0.04200 46 42 4 0
6648 I taught Rex to play 'dead inside'! 1.0851 0.05952 47 45 0 2
6649 we're doing the centipede and that's final, mister! 1.0851 0.04114 47 43 4 0
6650 Adult: Didn't you always want a brother? Boy: Yes, but not this one. 1.0789 0.04433 38 35 3 0
6651 Don't worry about where your hand-me-downs are going, this pales in comparison to where your hand-me-downs are coming from. 1.0789 0.04433 38 35 3 0
6652 Hey kiddo I got some big news; Mommy and I are splitting up and I'm drumming in a mathcore band. Isn't that cool? Your old man playing a bunch of shit in 5/4? You'll love it, man. The guitarist is totally sick. I'm taking the dog, too. 1.0789 0.04433 38 35 3 0
6653 You'll get a new suit the day YOU learn how to wag your tail. 1.0789 0.04433 38 35 3 0
6654 What are you so mad about? Yeah, he looks better than you in a suit. So what? You know, when someone calls his mom a bitch it's literal. That's crazy huh? Anyway, you want some ice cream or something so you stop whining? 1.0789 0.05820 38 36 1 1
6655 ...and you 1.0789 0.05820 38 36 1 1
6656 We'll sign off on your promotion once you've trained your replacement 1.0789 0.04433 38 35 3 0
6657 Dad, don't forget what Mom says, 'what goes around, comes around.' 1.0789 0.04433 38 34 3 0
6658 Just because Buddy invested his Christmas money wisely -- like SOMEBODY told him to -- doesn't mean you get to throw things at him. 1.0789 0.04433 38 35 3 0
6659 I know you wanted to name him Bruiser, but your mother and I have decided to go with Little Lord Fauntleroy. 1.0789 0.04433 38 35 3 0
6660 And I love you too, but he’s older. 1.0789 0.04433 38 35 3 0
6661 Robbie scored a 95 on his math exam. 1.0789 0.04433 38 35 3 0
6662 My Oh my, little Johnny-be-Doe, what fun shalt we be havin' in store for you?! Meet Mr. Thurston Howl E. Barker who came from uptown to teach you to fetch his grooming basket .. 1.0789 0.04433 38 35 3 0
6663 I know that your widows peak has significantly worsened since good ol’ Cat in a Maid’s Outfit died, but I have something I think will cheer you and that hairline right up. 1.0789 0.04433 38 35 3 0
6664 If you don't start behaving, I'm going to enroll you in dog obedience classes just like Fritz. Sandra Stedinger, jgauthier4@san.rr.com 1.0789 0.04433 38 35 3 0
6665 Timothy, Albert says you’re so 2020! 1.0789 0.04433 38 35 3 0
6666 Sonny, don't be sad. You'll enjoy obedience school. It's done wonders, as you can see, for Spot. 1.0789 0.04433 38 35 3 0
6667 Look on the bright side, at least you get to wear jeans and a teeshirt! 1.0789 0.04433 38 35 3 0
6668 I didn’t just mean your dinner when I said I’m going to give him what you don’t want. 1.0789 0.04433 38 35 3 0
6669 I know you're still getting used to our modern family but your brother Dachsund is as much my son as you are. 1.0789 0.04433 38 35 3 0
6670 Don't be mad, Joey. You've outgrown them. Jasper's only trying his best to impress the lovelies when we go out for walks. 1.0789 0.05820 38 36 1 1
6671 You have to walk on your hind legs, too 1.0789 0.04433 38 35 3 0
6672 Yes, he’s different. Love him without judgment and then stand back and stand by, because his love for you will be like nothing you have ever experienced. 1.0789 0.05820 38 36 1 1
6673 He may not play fetch or love you unconditionally, but who says a pet can't be a paragon of behavior? 1.0789 0.04433 38 35 3 0
6674 Do stop sulking,recycling is good for the Earth and your short suit will be showcased on Bailey for his Instagram photo shoot 1.0789 0.05820 38 36 1 1
6675 But ... itc6c2598598a83be-22fe12367fc500d5:T=1609620645:RT=1609790030:S=ALNI_MZ4IdePG44TENGws4G-XSvw70KjAg 1.0789 0.04433 38 35 3 0
6676 I will never love your sister more! Even if she is more well behaved and more obedient than you. 1.0789 0.04433 38 35 3 0
6677 Danny, c'mon - I thought you'd be happy little Robbie can wear your Sunday School suit you've outgrown! 1.0789 0.04433 38 35 3 0
6678 c'mon Billy, it's fair -- at least he didn't also get the new PlayStation! 1.0789 0.04433 38 35 3 0
6679 Hand me downs are not only for little brothers. 1.0789 0.04433 38 35 3 0
6680 Junior. When I say fetch, go get the stick. Fido and I will watch. There’s a treat for you if you do it right! 1.0789 0.04433 38 35 3 0
6681 C'mon Bud, let's play nice. Just because he's 17% Super Mutt doesn't make him any less your brother! 1.0789 0.04433 38 35 3 0
6682 stop stepping on my tail rex! 1.0789 0.04433 38 35 3 0
6683 C'mon Donald, c'mon boy! As promised, I am taking you for a walk in the rose garden, and your friend Mitt is coming along. 1.0789 0.04433 38 35 3 0
6684 Entitled? Ya know, I had to yield the right of way to another person today. 1.0789 0.04433 38 35 3 0
6685 Now we need to look nice for our first day of kindergarten, don’t we? 1.0789 0.04433 38 35 3 0
6686 Kid: What happened to hating all dogs dad? Man: Stop hounding me about it! 1.0789 0.04433 38 35 3 0
6687 Next time, for fitting shoes, Hank. We did feel an obligation to buy Timmy's new school uniform, made of pure merino wool... 1.0789 0.04433 38 35 3 0
6688 Why can’t you be more like your brother? You NEVER lick my face like he does. 1.0789 0.04433 38 35 3 0
6689 You didn't want your college fund either, right? 1.0789 0.04433 38 35 3 0
6690 I messed up, bud - who knew there was a dress code for brunch? Max is on deadline to submit his review, so he’ll stay - he’ll give us a paws up/paws down on the frittatas! 1.0789 0.04433 38 35 3 0
6691 Win or lose, I promise--out of your old clothes, and back on all fours again by next week. 1.0789 0.04433 38 35 3 0
6692 I know you’re angry and your mother was very hurt but I never meant for this to happen. But now that he is going to be your new step brother, you will have to try and get along. 1.0789 0.04433 38 35 3 0
6693 Give sacrifice of your choices and mind but not animals “ We all live in same habitat and we all are equal ... give respect and earn respect 1.0789 0.04433 38 35 3 0
6694 look, his collared shirt weird covid outfit arrived from amazon first, but no worries tommy! one is coming for you too...any day. 1.0789 0.04433 38 35 3 0
6695 He acts like a boy so you can act like a dog. 1.0789 0.04433 38 35 3 0
6696 Of course, we have no favorites. All parents love their children equally. 1.0789 0.04433 38 35 3 0
6697 He did NOT get more Christmas presents than you...this year. 1.0789 0.04433 38 35 3 0
6698 Well if you didn't want to marry a dog your parents shouldn't have voted for BIDEN, kid! It's a slippery slope! This is the future that liberals want! Now how about a casual reference to something vaguely anti-semitic? 1.0789 0.04433 38 35 3 0
6699 I know I'm a good boy too, but I cannot stand suiting up on Sundays! 1.0789 0.04433 38 35 3 0
6700 this will have to do for social interaction, who knew babies are at the back of the vaccine line? 1.0789 0.04433 38 35 3 0
6701 Now now, if Little Lord Fauntleroy sets the tone, its up to us to follow his lead. Wouldn't want him to feel less-than, now would we? 1.0789 0.04433 38 35 3 0
6702 Now that you and the dog are the same size we can save money by sharing clothes! You’ll just have to get used to the holes. 1.0789 0.04433 38 35 3 0
6703 Even Charlie is a university graduate and here you are wanting to drop out of the second grade. 1.0789 0.04433 38 35 3 0
6704 You are angry because I treat the dog like my real son and dress him in a beautiful tailored suit. 1.0789 0.04433 38 35 3 0
6705 C'mon now. Its your turn to be the family dog, its nice to take turns. 1.0789 0.04433 38 35 3 0
6706 Being grateful for what you've makes you the most blessed one. 1.0789 0.04433 38 35 3 0
6707 I understand why you’re mad about the dog’s clothes, really I do. But you must understand that his big luscious cock was making everyone uncomfortable. 1.0769 0.05673 39 37 1 1
6708 YES! Your mother and I have adopted a weenie-dog from the shelter. Now stop being a little-weenie about it! 1.0769 0.05673 39 37 1 1
6709 Hey, look! I turned your old pajamas into paw-jamas! 1.0769 0.04323 39 36 3 0
6710 He got up first. 1.0769 0.04323 39 36 3 0
6711 I love you,you're very special. 1.0769 0.04323 39 36 3 0
6712 C'mon bud this doesn't mean you can't go to college too. 1.0732 0.05399 41 39 1 1
6713 Few things are harder to put up with than the annoyance of a dog example. Bark Twain 1.0732 0.05399 41 39 1 1
6714 Isn't your little brother's mask cool? 1.0732 0.05399 41 39 1 1
6715 I believe we can all do better than Brownie this year. 1.0732 0.05399 41 39 1 1
6716 , it’s ok son he needs to wear a mask too. 1.0732 0.05399 41 39 1 1
6717 ...and you're next. 1.0714 0.04022 42 39 3 0
6718 Look, daddy needs this more than you, so deal. 1.0714 0.04022 42 39 3 0
6719 You're something else, man! 1.0714 0.04022 42 39 3 0
6720 This dog is much better at jerking off than you 1.0714 0.04022 42 39 3 0
6721 Well Johnnie, I want you to meet your step sister 1.0714 0.04022 42 39 3 0
6722 We can buy you a nice new set of clothes once you 1.0714 0.04022 42 39 3 0
6723 So, ask Santa for a suit next year. 1.0714 0.04022 42 39 3 0
6724 Be a good boy like your brother. 1.0714 0.04022 42 39 3 0
6725 Ok Donald! Now you are in the Dog House. 1.0714 0.04022 42 39 3 0
6726 Come on, Joey, she’s a man’s best friend. 1.0714 0.04022 42 39 3 0
6727 It’s a simple regime change son, get over it. 1.0714 0.04022 42 39 3 0
6728 Roll over. No, well then speak. 1.0714 0.04022 42 39 3 0
6729 Blame it on Amazon, and the Omen II, “Mark meet Damien”. 1.0714 0.04022 42 39 3 0
6730 Why do I have to wear shoes and she doesn't? 1.0714 0.04022 42 39 3 0
6731 Sorry, the adoption agency was out of human siblings. 1.0714 0.04022 42 39 3 0
6732 Skip to my Lou, may darlin” ... “I’ll find another one prettier than you ... Go to another party” ... without you 1.0714 0.04022 42 39 3 0
6733 All you have to do is bark after he says we’ve always wanted to be on AGT. 1.0600 0.03393 50 47 3 0
6734 Her tail is a happy one, what's your tale? 1.0571 0.03981 35 33 2 0
6735 Don't worry Brad, you can take this butler, he's no Boxer 1.0571 0.03981 35 33 2 0
6736 Don't worry about your inheritance. Yes, we say he's your little brother but he's a dog and he won't live as long as you will. 1.0571 0.03981 35 33 2 0
6737 Off we go for a walk kid. Put your collar tight, but not too tight. 1.0571 0.03981 35 33 2 0
6738 You should be more like Fido. He doesn't pick his nose all day long. 1.0571 0.03981 35 33 2 0
6739 Ha ha!! Sorry kid you can teach an old dog new tricks! 1.0571 0.03981 35 33 2 0
6740 Donnie, say hello to your new brother. (From the President's new memoir, Why I Hate Dogs) 1.0571 0.03981 35 33 2 0
6741 Rosie wears the leash... 1.0571 0.03981 35 33 2 0
6742 I just know you two are going to be best friends someday. 1.0571 0.03981 35 33 2 0
6743 Johnny meat your new covid19 friend rover 1.0571 0.03981 35 33 2 0
6744 Now you little shithead! Can't you behave like your pig brother! 1.0571 0.03981 35 33 2 0
6745 He’s a rescue! 1.0571 0.03981 35 33 2 0
6746 Don't worry, Bobby, you'll learn to fetch too. 1.0571 0.03981 35 33 2 0
6747 Don't worry Billy, I told Scruffy we would get ice cream after he gets his stud fee, ok? 1.0571 0.03981 35 33 2 0
6748 I know your brother's dressed like a 19th century school boy but it's your job to protect him. 1.0571 0.03981 35 33 2 0
6749 Remember when your mom said your my partner is a real bitch? 1.0571 0.03981 35 33 2 0
6750 Come on Fido, say hello to Johnny. 1.0571 0.03981 35 33 2 0
6751 No, you may not use that language! 1.0571 0.03981 35 33 2 0
6752 Hey Little Rush, you need to put on your mask. 1.0571 0.03981 35 33 2 0
6753 No, I put the same amount of food in your bowl as his. He didn't get any more than you. Honest. 1.0571 0.05714 35 34 0 1
6754 Son, it’s ok, it doesn’t fit you anymore.. 1.0571 0.03981 35 33 2 0
6755 Now Jimmy, tell Charlie you’re sorry. 1.0571 0.03981 35 33 2 0
6756 Adolph 1.0571 0.03981 35 33 2 0
6757 Don’t worry, You will get a dog biscuit later. 1.0571 0.03981 35 33 2 0
6758 Do you see how Rufus is doing it? 1.0571 0.03981 35 33 2 0
6759 He's only a playmate for the Pandemic. We'll get rid of him as soon as it's over. Scott Frisco,Haverhill,Ma. 1.0571 0.03981 35 33 2 0
6760 I know the artist is on new pain medication this week, but things will get better! 1.0571 0.03981 35 33 2 0
6761 Now be a good boy and sniff your cousin." 1.0571 0.03981 35 33 2 0
6762 Come on Bobby . Why the long face? - This is Joe. He only wants your shoes. 1.0571 0.03981 35 33 2 0
6763 Honey, the title of "Man's Best Friend" is more than something you want, it's something you earn. (SELF-EDIT FROM DAYS OF THINKING AFTER EARLIER POST) 1.0571 0.03981 35 33 2 0
6764 Rusty, here, is visiting to help you become less scrappy about things. 1.0571 0.05714 35 34 0 1
6765 Son, you don't know it yet but Fifi here is your best friend. 1.0571 0.03981 35 33 2 0
6766 I don't care what Sam Johnson said, I think he does it well. 1.0571 0.03981 35 33 2 0
6767 Fido's graduating finishing school, while you're still swimming in snot...so don't be jealous, buck up! And heel! 1.0571 0.03981 35 33 2 0
6768 Listen son, I know you still miss your mother very much since her tragic death. We all do. But Daphne is no longer just the family pet. I’m not expecting you to call her ‘mom’ right away, but you do need to start showing her some more respect. 1.0571 0.03981 35 33 2 0
6769 No worries son we'll get you dressed next. 1.0571 0.03981 35 33 2 0
6770 Don't pout. Mom says she loves both of you equally." 1.0571 0.03981 35 33 2 0
6771 I think I’m starting to peak, Johnny. 1.0571 0.03981 35 33 2 0
6772 Now Pavlov, repeat after me. I will play with my dog. 1.0571 0.03981 35 33 2 0
6773 Come on Johnny, can't you be a bit more like Rover? 1.0571 0.03981 35 33 2 0
6774 Be a good little doggie. 1.0571 0.03981 35 33 2 0
6775 Hey little guy, my favorite menswear podcaster is right over there, and you kinda bricked your fit today. So we've gotta park your narrow ass over here for a minute while Daddy builds, alright? 1.0571 0.03981 35 33 2 0
6776 Hand in hand , unhappiness and satisfaction 1.0571 0.03981 35 33 2 0
6777 Mommy got me and Biff snipped. 1.0571 0.03981 35 33 2 0
6778 Don’t pout, Tommy. Your sister got to pick the features for the robodog this week, and you get to pick the features next week! 1.0571 0.03981 35 33 2 0
6779 I'm sorry Timmy but sometimes in life you will get the short end of the stick 1.0571 0.03981 35 33 2 0
6780 Oh quit your belly-aching......you'll his clothes as hand-me-downs soon enough. 1.0571 0.03981 35 33 2 0
6781 2020 when 2021 comes. 1.0571 0.03981 35 33 2 0
6782 You're being replaced. 1.0571 0.03981 35 33 2 0
6783 He could be like a brother if you gave him a chance. 1.0571 0.03981 35 33 2 0
6784 What overdressed? 1.0571 0.03981 35 33 2 0
6785 I thought a dad shouldn't choose favorites, but you act as if he is your best friend! 1.0571 0.03981 35 33 2 0
6786 No need to be upset, she’s only putting her best feet forward 1.0571 0.03981 35 33 2 0
6787 Did you bring the doggy bag? 1.0571 0.03981 35 33 2 0
6788 What do you mean you don’t wanna be dressed up like a dogs dinner? 1.0571 0.03981 35 33 2 0
6789 Now let's introduce your new playmate to Mr. Puss." 1.0571 0.03981 35 33 2 0
6790 Now Justin, only Rex is getting“tutored” today. I know it’s not fair, but I really don’t think you want that. 1.0571 0.03981 35 33 2 0
6791 Don't be jealous son, it's like we always say: four legs good, two legs better! 1.0571 0.03981 35 33 2 0
6792 See, how Pluto looks smart with the clothes we bought you for Christmas? 1.0571 0.03981 35 33 2 0
6793 Mummy‘s getting the cat dressed, that makes 1800 for the 3 of you 1.0571 0.03981 35 33 2 0
6794 Papa why he doesn't suffer from the pandemic ... 1.0571 0.03981 35 33 2 0
6795 I’m sorry, Max, but it’s true. Owning a dog is exactly as hard as raising a kid. 1.0571 0.03981 35 33 2 0
6796 Sir, I don't want to minimize the challenges of parenting but I gotta get back home for lunch and this chafes. 1.0571 0.03981 35 33 2 0
6797 He’s man’s best friend, not boy’s best friend 1.0571 0.03981 35 33 2 0
6798 Now streaming on Disney Plus: "Kindergarten Cop II" 1.0571 0.03981 35 33 2 0
6799 You see Donny, he’s a real boy because I SAY he’s a real boy, you understand son? 1.0571 0.03981 35 33 2 0
6800 Well Jimtom maybe if you weren’t such a wiggly stinker you could have worn your fancy boy clothes too 1.0571 0.03981 35 33 2 0
6801 It’s my turn to have the dog stand in for me in class. 1.0571 0.03981 35 33 2 0
6802 Don’t be jealous Scout, if you really want, we’ll start buying your clothes from Chewy as well 1.0571 0.02899 35 34 1 0
6803 Hey bud, things don’t always work out the ways we want them too but let’s continue to behave & be happy 1.0571 0.03981 35 33 2 0
6804 Look Baron, you haven’t been replaced by a dog, per se, although it may at times feel that way, 1.0571 0.03981 35 33 2 0
6805 No, he is not adopted. He is with us from beginning. 1.0571 0.03981 35 33 2 0
6806 Now, now you had your day but the Anthropocene is over. This one goes to him.... 1.0571 0.03981 35 33 2 0
6807 I know you want the PS5, but Stuart wants a new ball bit. You're going to have to think of something else to do with your half of the stimulus check. 1.0571 0.03981 35 33 2 0
6808 „The stimulus check didn‘t reach for two christmas suit. But hey, the next one is yours.“ 1.0571 0.03981 35 33 2 0
6809 You both can share the bathroom and food bowls. 1.0571 0.03981 35 33 2 0
6810 I'm sorry, John, but your mother and I are getting a divorce. 1.0566 0.03205 53 50 3 0
6811 What's wrong? Don't you like your hand me downs? 1.0556 0.03872 36 34 2 0
6812 Son, there are no atheists when it comes to pets. 1.0556 0.03872 36 34 2 0
6813 Well, maybe if your behavior had been better, one child would have been enough. 1.0556 0.03872 36 34 2 0
6814 Be glad we've repurposed your hand-me-downs. And you'll get my old clothes! 1.0556 0.03872 36 34 2 0
6815 I wanna be your dog. 1.0556 0.03872 36 34 2 0
6816 No, Little Pookie is not 100,000 times cuter than you..... 1.0556 0.03872 36 34 2 0
6817 Try again, kid. But Daddy, I wanted the bone! 1.0556 0.03872 36 34 2 0
6818 Don't worry that Fido's already a grownup. His seven is different from your seven. 1.0556 0.03872 36 34 2 0
6819 You're the anchor baby and that's... something... 1.0556 0.03872 36 34 2 0
6820 If you don't apologize to Tootsie immediately, I'm going to have to put you in hybrid detention. 1.0541 0.03769 37 35 2 0
6821 Try To Be As Good As Your Brother. 1.0526 0.03671 38 36 2 0
6822 And you too can be a little gentleman like Spike. 1.0526 0.03671 38 36 2 0
6823 Some day you'll learn. 1.0526 0.03671 38 36 2 0
6824 I bet you wish you could retire at 5 years old! 1.0526 0.03671 38 36 2 0
6825 It’s okay, Pal, Rufus may have gotten the IQ but you got the EQ.” R. Hunter, Plymouth M 1.0526 0.03671 38 36 2 0
6826 He said, "Covid, schmovid; dress like a human being!" 1.0526 0.03671 38 36 2 0
6827 Don't worry, Mommy and I will still love you too. 1.0526 0.03671 38 36 2 0
6828 Come o-o-o-o-on. Who's a good boy? 1.0526 0.03671 38 36 2 0
6829 He’s wearing my pants 1.0526 0.03671 38 36 2 0
6830 He likes the treat. 1.0513 0.03578 39 37 2 0
6831 C'mon Todd, Rex is ready for his walk. 1.0513 0.03578 39 37 2 0
6832 The cute little suit is optional. 1.0513 0.03578 39 37 2 0
6833 Oh sorry son, the $600 could only pay for a suit for the dog 1.0513 0.03578 39 37 2 0
6834 He’s a sample size “0” 1.0513 0.03578 39 37 2 0
6835 Now, we'll get a Nice suit for you too 1.0513 0.03578 39 37 2 0
6836 You’re not going to lick my face too? 1.0513 0.03578 39 37 2 0
6837 Come on...he did not steal your clothes 1.0513 0.03578 39 37 2 0
6838 Stop sulking. you're still my favorite. 1.0500 0.03490 40 38 2 0
6839 ... but isn’t this better than being treated like dinner? 1.0500 0.03490 40 38 2 0
6840 Who’s a good boy!! No...Not you...yes...yes... not you... 1.0500 0.03490 40 38 2 0
6841 Your cousin is cuter, but he is not the one with two wee-wees 1.0500 0.03490 40 38 2 0
6842 Stop pouting. He is my best friend, but you're still my favorite son. 1.0312 0.03175 32 31 1 0
6843 You'll get buttons as soon as you're able to button buttons as well as Buttons. 1.0312 0.03175 32 31 1 0
6844 Don't fret, son! In these COVID times, our adopted shelter doggie is more fun than a surly boy. 1.0312 0.03175 32 31 1 0
6845 It sounded more like 'pick of the litter' to me. 1.0312 0.03175 32 31 1 0
6846 I know it’s breezy in back, but you need to be a good boy and share your clothes with Rex. 1.0312 0.03175 32 31 1 0
6847 I know, sweetheart. But if you want to BE a running dog of capitalism, you gotta start young! 1.0312 0.03175 32 31 1 0
6848 It’s not that we don’t love you, it’s just that we really, really love the puppy. 1.0312 0.03175 32 31 1 0
6849 Okay, okay. After the surgery you don't have to wear the uniform. 1.0312 0.03175 32 31 1 0
6850 It might be Howdy Doody Time, but I feel like Punch and Judy! 1.0312 0.03175 32 31 1 0
6851 Awe, son, maybe you can’t wag but you can shake and roll over! 1.0312 0.03175 32 31 1 0
6852 Considering Baxter’s exceptional test scores, it wouldn’t be right if we didn’t give him your bedroom. Also... he doesn’t poop his pants. 1.0312 0.03175 32 31 1 0
6853 C’mon, Tommy. You can teach this little hound dog some new tricks. 1.0312 0.03175 32 31 1 0
6854 You can have your suit back when your brother returns from obedience school. 1.0312 0.03175 32 31 1 0
6855 You can do the Eaton suit,Jake. And you don’t have to worry about the tail. 1.0312 0.03175 32 31 1 0
6856 You're still mommy's favorite student, even though you're not the brightest. 1.0312 0.03175 32 31 1 0
6857 What kid wants a life-sized dad doll for his birthday? And Jeeves, you don’t have to copy EVERYTHING I do. Worst birthday ever. 1.0312 0.03175 32 31 1 0
6858 do not be angry, I domesticate him, I teach you and you choose that is why you are unique, you will understand 1.0312 0.03175 32 31 1 0
6859 If you behave you can have nice clothes too. 1.0303 0.03077 33 32 1 0
6860 I don’t care if it is technically correct. You can’t call your sister a bitch. 1.0000 0.03637 28 28 0 0
6861 You have to learn to share. Now let Skippy have the poo he was sniffing. 1.0000 0.03637 28 28 0 0
6862 Why the face Johnny? Don't you like the idea of uncle Jimmy having a dog-son? 1.0000 0.03509 29 29 0 0
6863 Four times, half you think of me and he thinks twice the man I am. 1.0000 0.03637 28 28 0 0
6864 Hold you sister's hand. Don't be a Wiener. 1.0000 0.03637 28 28 0 0
6865 C'mon Jimmy. Rover is happy and all dressed to go to Grandma's. 1.0000 0.03637 28 28 0 0
6866 Don't be jealous. Be happy you don't have to wear those cloths. 1.0000 0.03637 28 28 0 0
6867 Now donnie,all ya gotta do is play with eric once in a while,& he'll love you forever. 1.0000 0.03637 28 28 0 0
6868 This is why dogs deserve the same love and attention you give a kid- they don't answer back! 1.0000 0.03637 28 28 0 0
6869 Buddy, to paraphrase Suzan-Lori Parks, there is a topdog and an underdog. I think we all know which role you play. 1.0000 0.03637 28 28 0 0
6870 His name is Sills. 1.0000 0.03637 28 28 0 0
6871 Son, when you get to be my age you'll realize a dog is man's best friend! ] 1.0000 0.03637 28 28 0 0
6872 You'll still have your own bathroom. 1.0000 0.03637 28 28 0 0
6873 He’s showing you how to be a good boy! 1.0000 0.03637 28 28 0 0
6874 Now be good or I’ll get the leash. 1.0000 0.03637 28 28 0 0
6875 Ok ... I will stop referring to him as 'good boy' if you stop calling your sister a ..... 1.0000 0.03637 28 28 0 0
6876 It is a 'dog-eat-dog world' Bennie, and when you are a 'good boy', you can wear the fancy clothes. 1.0000 0.03637 28 28 0 0
6877 I know we're going kinda slow, but remember that Fido isn't a natural biped. 1.0000 0.03637 28 28 0 0
6878 You get to go to Space Camp...on Mars. 1.0000 0.03509 29 29 0 0
6879 If Fido is willing to wear a suit, you should wear one too 1.0000 0.03637 28 28 0 0
6880 I told you a dog is a big responsibility 1.0000 0.03637 28 28 0 0
6881 C'mon Joey, Try to be polite just like brother, Fido! 1.0000 0.03637 28 28 0 0
6882 Yes, he's better at catching rats in the middle of the night. But I bet you're better than him at a few things, too. 1.0000 0.03637 28 28 0 0
6883 Sorry, Dougie, the u was dropped in your birth certificate. 1.0000 0.03637 28 28 0 0
6884 C’Mon now. We’re all friends. If you hadn’t pulled his tail, he wouldn’t have bitten you. 1.0000 0.03637 28 28 0 0
6885 Listen, your mom wanted a baby girl and you wanted a puppy ... So, eh? Your daddy solved the problem! I'm a freakin' genius! C'mon, stop pouting and let's celebrate daddy's creativity. 1.0000 0.03509 29 29 0 0
6886 We've decided and he's taking over now. He's just better than you. 1.0000 0.03509 29 29 0 0
6887 It was meet that we should make merry, and be glad: for this thy brother was dead, and is alive again; and was lost, and is found. 1.0000 0.03637 28 28 0 0
6888 You think you've got it bad. I have to get you out of the tube,roll ya down the stairs,get ya in the truck,get ya out of the truck,put ya on the boat and drop ya off! 1.0000 0.03509 29 29 0 0
6889 Fair's fair, Jimmy. We boarded Buster on our last trip... now it's his turn to see Disney World! 1.0000 0.03637 28 28 0 0
6890 Why the long face, champ? 1.0000 0.03637 28 28 0 0
6891 Why canozilla/5.0 (Macintosh 1.0000 0.03509 29 29 0 0
6892 "Remember when you asked us for a baby brother?" 1.0000 0.03637 28 28 0 0
6893 Bobby, stop flaunting your opposable thumbs. You know it will make Sparky nervous before his Goldman’s interview. 1.0000 0.03637 28 28 0 0
6894 Common! He will sniff out the COVID bullies! 1.0000 0.03637 28 28 0 0
6895 That’s not tru - we love you just as much. It’s just that River has different talents than you that need to be supported. 1.0000 0.03637 28 28 0 0
6896 Wilbie.... show Edward what a goood boy you are! 1.0000 0.03509 29 29 0 0
6897 I'm sure you will like Ms. Walker too. 1.0000 0.03637 28 28 0 0
6898 It's not that I love him more, I just never hate him 1.0000 0.03637 28 28 0 0
6899 Hey, Buddy, look at it this way. It could be a SISTER! 1.0000 0.03637 28 28 0 0
6900 I told you, you’ll get a nice suit too once you also pass your canine fly ball class! 1.0000 0.03637 28 28 0 0
6901 Remember what we talked about? Sharing is caring, and cuddle with Puddles. 1.0000 0.03637 28 28 0 0
6902 Okay. I’ll leave the tv on. 1.0000 0.03637 28 28 0 0
6903 Get along with little doggie" 1.0000 0.03637 28 28 0 0
6904 I promise, Billy. You'd hate Houndstooth! 1.0000 0.03637 28 28 0 0
6905 You're such a good boy! 1.0000 0.03637 28 28 0 0
6906 ...and Jill came tumbling after, 1.0000 0.03637 28 28 0 0
6907 Who’s very good now? 1.0000 0.03637 28 28 0 0
6908 Cheer up Jimmy, 1.0000 0.03637 28 28 0 0
6909 Son, dogs are more than domesticated now. 1.0000 0.03637 28 28 0 0
6910 Now about Dad’s bathroom alone time... 1.0000 0.03637 28 28 0 0
6911 Next week you can wear the suit. 1.0000 0.03637 28 28 0 0
6912 It's OK Rex, just because he has the same name as you, wears you old clothes and gets straight As, doesn't mean that I love you any less. 1.0000 0.03637 28 28 0 0
6913 You can learn a lot from him 1.0000 0.03637 28 28 0 0
6914 You had your chance to answer the question, "Who's a good boy?" 1.0000 0.03637 28 28 0 0
6915 Now. Now. He’s part of the family make him feel welcome. 1.0000 0.03637 28 28 0 0
6916 Now Billy, it's not nice to be jealous that your little brother has more fur than you and a tail! 1.0000 0.03637 28 28 0 0
6917 He’s boarding but it’s not a school. No, you can’t go, and it has nothing to do whether you’re a purebred. 1.0000 0.03637 28 28 0 0
6918 Don't worry. You'll be a YouTube star too someday. 1.0000 0.03637 28 28 0 0
6919 No he isn’t your age your 3 and he’s 21 1.0000 0.03637 28 28 0 0
6920 He's a good boy. Don't you want to be a good boy too? 1.0000 0.03637 28 28 0 0
6921 "He ain't got no name But it ain't him to blame He's only a paw 'n in our game" 1.0000 0.03637 28 28 0 0
6922 You’d never be able to button yourself ... 1.0000 0.03637 28 28 0 0
6923 Now Donald, Joe only wanted to fetch the ball, not drop it. 1.0000 0.03637 28 28 0 0
6924 But he's taken such care with his appearance, we can't leave him home. 1.0000 0.03637 28 28 0 0
6925 We’re keeping man’s best friend, Democracy. Donald, you’re headed to the pound. 1.0000 0.03637 28 28 0 0
6926 If Fluffy is nice enough to wear your clothes, the least you can do is try his kibble. 1.0000 0.03637 28 28 0 0
6927 Wow,Woofie has invited us to go walkies with him. 1.0000 0.03637 28 28 0 0
6928 If I let go, don’t go running off. 1.0000 0.03637 28 28 0 0
6929 You're not No:2 yet Timmy, but Sparky has certainly upped his game. 1.0000 0.03637 28 28 0 0
6930 Compromise: let’s throw each other a bone. 1.0000 0.03637 28 28 0 0
6931 @ew_aamaria “ 1.0000 0.03509 29 29 0 0
6932 Don't behave like an animal my boy.. 1.0000 0.03637 28 28 0 0
6933 Billy, everyone loves puppacinos 1.0000 0.03637 28 28 0 0
6934 You can dress up too, son. When you give up your pampers and be more like Charlie here!” @maddylogan12 1.0000 0.03509 29 29 0 0
6935 It’s time to concede now, everyone likes him better. He got more votes! 1.0000 0.03637 28 28 0 0
6936 Now shake hands, sit, and I’ll go get us a few treats! 1.0000 0.03509 29 29 0 0
6937 I love both my kids equally. 1.0000 0.03637 28 28 0 0
6938 Sorry luv, we lost track of time at the pet store shopping for her suit, almost forgot to pick you up from school. But we’re here now. Haha 1.0000 0.03637 28 28 0 0
6939 Don’t be mad, we all have matching PJs, just like him 1.0000 0.03637 28 28 0 0
6940 . “Not goin’to that same trainer” 1.0000 0.03637 28 28 0 0
6941 There is no need to be jealous my son. You both owe special places in my heart. 1.0000 0.03637 28 28 0 0
6942 It’s okay honey, your new step brother is such a good boy, he’s such a good boy 1.0000 0.03637 28 28 0 0
6943 But he IS the goodest boy, son. 1.0000 0.03637 28 28 0 0
6944 Teach your children well 1.0000 0.03637 28 28 0 0
6945 Daddy love you my boy. Don’t be angry, let’s go my boy 😍 1.0000 0.03509 29 29 0 0
6946 I know it's your favourite dress 1.0000 0.03637 28 28 0 0
6947 Children are so entitled 1.0000 0.03637 28 28 0 0
6948 Being in public suited Jasper, but not Joshua. 1.0000 0.03637 28 28 0 0
6949 We wouldn’t be here if you hadn’t absorbed your sister in the womb 1.0000 0.03637 28 28 0 0
6950 You should learn a thing or two from your older brother Sir Woof" 1.0000 0.03637 28 28 0 0
6951 Yep, it IS time for another walk. 1.0000 0.03637 28 28 0 0
6952 Don’t worry you will be Messi! 1.0000 0.03637 28 28 0 0
6953 Bobby, we’d take photos of you too but *sigh* it’s not that mommy and I love you less, it’s just that our followers on Instagram do. 1.0000 0.03637 28 28 0 0
6954 Look! Rover is wearing his outfit he received for Christmas. You'll both look fetching. 1.0000 0.03637 28 28 0 0
6955 Remember, little Donnie—dirty dogs wear suits. 1.0000 0.03637 28 28 0 0