Contest #735


Cartoon

735

The winning captions

These captions are chosen by The New Yorker.

  1. “I can keep it together during the ceremony. The reception is where I fall to pieces.”
  2. “You are a lot bigger in person.”
  3. “Great wedding—what’s for dessert?”


Name Value
Submission deadline 2020-11-29T19:34:00.000Z
Voting started -
Voting ended 2020-12-13T19:35:00.000Z
Finalists announced 2020-12-07T19:35:00.000Z
Magazine(s) announcing finalists issued December 14, 2020
Number of captions 4647
Number of responses 673778
Number of participants -


Dashboard

In this table, the "mean" means the empirically measured average funniness score when the "unfunny", "somewhat funny" and "funny" receive a funniness score of 1, 2, 3 respectively. "Precison" is the standard error of the mean, the standard deviation of the mean estimate. With that, a caption with an empirical mean μ and precision σ has true mean in the range [μ - 2σ, μ + 2σ] with 95% probability by the 68-95-99.7 rule assuming the responses are indepedent and identically distributed.

Rank Caption Mean Precision Total votes "Unfunny" votes "Somewhat funny" votes "Funny" votes
0 It always ends in tiers...... 2.1320 0.00739 10374 2345 4315 3714
1 I shouldn't be telling you this but I saw her last week on a different cake. 2.0504 0.00779 9872 2719 3936 3217
2 Actually, I'm vanilla. Red Velvet is my stripper name. 1.9591 0.00858 8910 3113 3048 2749
3 Trust me, it’ll all end in tiers 1.9202 0.00876 7433 2440 3146 1847
4 I was married once. Didn’t work out. She was a tart. 1.8844 0.00895 7586 2796 2871 1919
5 I can keep it together during the ceremony. The reception is where I fall to pieces. 1.8696 0.01065 4968 1766 2084 1118
6 So I says to the genie, ‘Make me a wedding cake.’ Big mistake. 1.8693 0.01136 4952 1949 1701 1302
7 I’m not just a pretty face, I have layers 1.8494 0.01095 4709 1737 1944 1028
8 Bad news. Edith left with the DJ. I guess you can't have your cake and Edith, too. 1.8434 0.00977 6697 2746 2254 1697
9 Whoa, the cake you fell off of must have been huge! 1.8407 0.00970 6668 2706 2318 1644
10 Your wedding,my funeral. 1.8296 0.01001 6278 2600 2148 1530
11 Yeah, I thought you’d be taller, too. 1.8208 0.01352 3131 1226 1240 665
12 Just like me, you'll soon be brought down a few levels and consumed by family. 1.8196 0.01022 5875 2428 2079 1368
13 So what, she didn’t show. I think we both dodged a bullet here, Ted. 1.7904 0.01258 3831 1646 1342 843
14 She knows about the cupcake. 1.7795 0.01228 4037 1771 1385 881
15 I’m expensive, unhealthy, and I don’t last. So yes, I am a metaphor. 1.7769 0.01108 4934 2168 1699 1067
16 She may be marrying you, but you’ll never satisfy her like I do. 1.7757 0.01271 3661 1584 1314 763
17 Psst—the salad says its olive oil is the only virgin at this wedding. 1.7687 0.01203 4367 2001 1375 991
18 No, I'm not gluten free; a talking cake isn't enough for you? 1.7634 0.01283 3804 1747 1210 847
19 Hey-- you want a piece of me?! 1.7631 0.01077 5041 2212 1811 1018
20 You’re seriously marrying a woman who chose carrot cake? 1.7585 0.01349 3151 1375 1162 614
21 I know it’s only your birthday, but your mother wanted me to remind you you’re not getting any younger. 1.7232 0.01327 3504 1700 1074 730
22 I sing, too. Get it? Icing. 1.7231 0.01321 3294 1529 1148 617
23 Only one of us is getting out of here in one piece. 1.7187 0.01279 3135 1369 1279 487
24 Watch your back, she's got a knife!! 1.6952 0.02007 1447 709 470 268
25 That’s weird. I also sense impending doom. 1.6947 0.02007 1415 685 477 253
26 How do you know we're not just standing on a bigger cake? 1.6823 0.01475 2707 1363 841 503
27 If you run away now you can save both of us. 1.6460 0.01500 2494 1297 783 414
28 I love a wedding, but I always end up shedding a tier or two. 1.6456 0.01493 2305 1145 832 328
29 I’m always in tiers at weddings 1.6386 0.02325 996 513 330 153
30 You probably get this a lot but you look a lot like the groom, only bigger 1.6310 0.01547 2130 1081 754 295
31 This marriage is wrong on so many different levels! 1.6300 0.01526 2327 1220 748 359
32 What are you looking at pal? At least you get to leave here in one piece! 1.6260 0.01564 2091 1072 729 290
33 You should know I’m not her first cake. 1.6197 0.01860 1499 782 505 212
34 I hope she looks at you the way she looks at me! 1.6183 0.03517 448 242 135 71
35 It’s too late for me. Save yourself! 1.6090 0.01812 1642 889 506 247
36 Yes, it’s 2021, you’re finally attending a wedding without a mask and the cake is talking to you. 1.6077 0.01865 1555 845 475 235
37 We've been in the fridge all day... you're not the only one with cold feet. 1.6073 0.02458 876 471 278 127
38 My first wife was an ice cream cake. What a mess. 1.6047 0.03057 549 292 182 75
39 You're nervous? How do you think my day is going to end? 1.6042 0.02062 1190 631 398 160
40 Take it from me, she's only interested in your dough. 1.5922 0.02032 1231 666 401 164
41 Do those two make my bottom layer look fat? 1.5871 0.01977 1291 702 420 169
42 You know, there's still time for both of us to walk away in one piece. 1.5849 0.02691 730 407 219 104
43 Don't look so glum. I'm the one facing death by a thousand cuts. 1.5837 0.02088 1225 688 359 178
44 NYC has limited wedding gatherings to one. 1.5816 0.02979 643 374 164 105
45 No,I haven’t seen her. But the fact you’re asking a cake may explain it. 1.5794 0.02971 661 390 159 112
46 Sorry, Carl, but Cheryl finally found someone her own size. 1.5780 0.02129 1147 642 347 158
47 Statistically,we’ll meet again. 1.5766 0.03263 470 259 151 60
48 You think YOU’RE nervous?! 1.5758 0.02181 1082 605 331 146
49 Relax, its a piece of cake. 1.5744 0.02468 827 459 261 107
50 That little ‘cocktail’ to calm your nerves appears to be working. 1.5702 0.02352 1019 600 257 162
51 Just don't shove me in her face. I hate that. 1.5655 0.02176 969 524 342 103
52 Today isn’t going to end well for either of us. 1.5605 0.02334 885 493 288 104
53 I’m getting smashed tonight. 1.5604 0.02464 910 539 232 139
54 And for Walter’s 40th birthday his mom dropped yet another subtle hint 1.5587 0.02480 886 523 231 132
55 This won’t end well for either of us. 1.5583 0.02485 840 485 241 114
56 I doubt this ends well for either of us. 1.5579 0.02569 769 440 229 100
57 It’s time for me to meet my baker 1.5558 0.02501 833 484 235 114
58 Well, darling, the genie gave me one wish, and I said, "Make me a wedding cake." 1.5477 0.02599 776 458 211 107
59 ''I'm flaky? You're the one having a conversation with a wedding cake." 1.5455 0.02670 759 456 192 111
60 I'm just saying, if she lied to you about the gluten-free, who knows what else? 1.5406 0.02627 714 415 212 87
61 Marriage isn't a piece of cake, buddy. 1.5404 0.02638 718 420 208 90
62 Well, gee, David. I guess this isn’t a ‘If you bake it she will come’ kind of a situation. 1.5375 0.03201 493 291 139 63
63 Of course I can't talk; you're drunk. 1.5370 0.02595 689 393 222 74
64 I'm a gender reveal cake, and you're in for a big surprise. 1.5333 0.03114 555 339 136 80
65 Look, if you change your mind right now its a win-win for the both of us 1.5333 0.02813 660 398 172 90
66 If you're listening to your cake, maybe it's not the time to get married. 1.5331 0.02814 634 376 178 80
67 Um, hello, excuse me, my eyes are down here 1.5328 0.02738 655 385 191 79
68 Now remember, you can't have your Kate and Edith, too. 1.5327 0.03112 597 377 122 98
69 I can’t believe she desserted us both! 1.5316 0.03480 427 257 113 57
70 She’s been seeing G.I. Joe on the side for weeks. 1.5299 0.02549 636 351 233 52
71 Great wedding, what's for dessert? 1.5293 0.02793 631 381 169 81
72 Take it from me, being too sweet will get you eaten alive. 1.5267 0.02892 617 374 161 82
73 Don’t eat the messenger. 1.5257 0.03479 409 244 115 50
74 Where’s your mask? 1.5255 0.02911 609 370 158 81
75 To scale, I believe the cake toppers ARE demonstrating proper social distancing. 1.5222 0.03304 427 250 131 46
76 Size isn’t everything. And he makes her laugh. 1.5214 0.02994 537 319 156 62
77 Let 'em eat pie, I always say.... 1.5208 0.03649 384 234 100 50
78 I can tell, she's got cold feet. 1.5201 0.02936 571 343 159 69
79 Shouldn’t they be standing six feet apart? 1.5179 0.02990 560 340 150 70
80 Trust me: the phrase is “Let them eat kale.” 1.5179 0.03022 560 343 144 73
81 Your fiance requested a cake that "really speaks to her". Well voila! 1.5122 0.02936 531 314 162 55
82 You are a lot bigger in person. 1.5106 0.03132 519 321 131 67
83 Would you like to cut in? 1.5106 0.02910 519 303 167 49
84 I'm saving myself for the reception. 1.5098 0.03116 512 314 135 63
85 I told you it was presumptuous to put both of them on before she arrived. 1.5079 0.03051 504 303 146 55
86 Would you mind putting on a mask and moving back 6 feet? 1.5079 0.02905 504 292 168 44
87 Still in the small talk phase of the conversation with the nice cake, Carl realised, those must not have been aspirins he took earlier. 1.5079 0.03207 508 319 120 69
88 At cake weddings, we eat pieces of people. 1.5036 0.03606 413 264 90 59
89 Are you upset about a talking cake, or that I said "Eat me?" 1.5011 0.03249 471 293 120 58
90 That ceremony was so beautiful I actually shed a few tiers. 1.5011 0.02897 471 269 168 34
91 You look a lot bigger in person. 1.5000 0.03348 468 298 106 64
92 This is my first wedding. What should I expect? 1.5000 0.03194 468 287 128 53
93 What do you think they mean when they say they’re going to “cut the cake”? 1.4989 0.03334 463 293 109 61
94 Your fly's open, dude. 1.4989 0.03056 463 274 147 42
95 Not so fast. She's gonna see you naked tonight. 1.4987 0.03490 391 240 107 44
96 Another symptom of the coronavirus is thinking that cakes talk. 1.4978 0.03344 448 281 111 56
97 The two on top have another wedding at 4:30 so keep the toasts short. 1.4978 0.03176 448 270 133 45
98 We're both sweet, rich, and rapidly approaching the end of life as we know it. 1.4976 0.03346 420 257 117 46
99 Listen. This isn’t going to end well for either of us. 1.4967 0.03222 451 276 126 49
100 You're a lot taller in person. 1.4946 0.03230 461 286 122 53
101 What's the occasion? I can never see what kind of hat they give me. 1.4944 0.03265 443 273 121 49
102 I don't know what it is about weddings. I always wake up in tiers. 1.4931 0.03351 436 273 111 52
103 Promise me you won't put my head in the freezer when this is over. 1.4930 0.03266 428 261 123 44
104 Is it too late to "speak now"? 1.4919 0.03288 433 267 119 47
105 You’re much taller in person 1.4919 0.03255 433 265 123 45
106 You again? 1.4906 0.03409 426 269 105 52
107 Six feet buddy... 1.4904 0.03442 418 264 102 51
108 Psst. I’ve been here since the bachelor party. When do I jump out of the cake? 1.4893 0.03356 421 262 112 47
109 Don't look down. You're standing on an even bigger cake. 1.4891 0.03422 413 259 106 48
110 Without a strong foundation everything else crumbles. 1.4880 0.03025 416 240 149 27
111 Having met your wife, a talking cake's the least of your worries 1.4880 0.03386 416 260 109 47
112 You can't eat me... I have little cupcakes at home! 1.4880 0.03282 416 254 121 41
113 Hey, it's my big day too, ok? 1.4880 0.03731 332 205 92 35
114 She said she wanted someone who, deep down inside was really sweet. 1.4857 0.03658 350 218 94 38
115 A talking cake is wrong on so many layers. 1.4853 0.03417 408 256 106 46
116 This union is wrong on so many levels 1.4849 0.03444 398 249 105 44
117 I know what you’re thinking. Should I or shouldn’t I get married and why am I talking to a cake and maybe I shouldn’t have smoked marijuana right before the wedding . 1.4843 0.03438 413 262 102 49
118 So, for my third wish, I say, "Make me a big cake!" He laughs, there's a puff of smoke, and next thing I know I'm in the back of a van barrelin' down Houston Street. 1.4840 0.03558 405 262 90 53
119 This is a beautiful wedding. Even I’m in tiers. 1.4838 0.03199 401 239 130 32
120 Hey, I just heard this isn't the first cake she's been on top of. 1.4838 0.03351 401 247 114 40
121 You know this marriage is a mistake. On so many layers. 1.4838 0.03388 401 249 110 42
122 You may think I'm just a talking cake. But I've got layers. 1.4823 0.03363 396 244 113 39
123 When John realised he'd been making small talk to the cake for 20 minutes, he decided to ease up on the free bar. 1.4823 0.03401 396 246 109 41
124 Want a piece of me? 1.4822 0.03394 394 244 110 40
125 I gotta tell you, you’ve got bigger problems than a talking cake. 1.4808 0.03286 391 249 101 41
126 Before you smoosh me into her face you should know that I have two cup cakes at home to raise. 1.4807 0.03483 389 245 101 43
127 This is the only "piece of cake" your marriage is going to be. 1.4803 0.03498 381 239 101 41
128 Your fiancee asked for a cake that would speak to her. 1.4797 0.03394 394 245 109 40
129 Well, You're the one who asked for a cake with personality. 1.4793 0.03305 386 234 119 33
130 If I'm wheat free, gluten free, sugar free and dairy free, do I even exist? 1.4792 0.03630 384 249 86 49
131 I asked her to BAKE me a wedding cake, NOT MAKE me a wedding cake! 1.4792 0.03516 384 243 98 43
132 You shouldn’t have dropped that acid last night at your bachelor party, Carl. 1.4777 0.03536 381 242 96 43
133 If you hear me talking you’ve had too much to drink. 1.4776 0.03399 379 241 98 40
134 If anyone calls, I'll be in the freezer for a year. 1.4776 0.03530 379 240 97 42
135 Welcome to your wedding nightmare. Soon you too will become a hollow plastic figure locked forever in a static relationship and trapped in the cement buttercream overshoes of debt and responsibility. 1.4773 0.04073 308 201 67 40
136 But unlike the bride, I'm free of preservatives. 1.4770 0.03952 304 193 77 34
137 It wouldn't be the first time the cake ran away with the groom." 1.4762 0.03538 357 222 100 35
138 I didn't know they made you in the life-sized version! 1.4759 0.03484 374 234 102 38
139 Whoa...you’re cake must be HUGE! 1.4759 0.03605 374 240 90 44
140 It will all end in tiers. 1.4758 0.03497 372 233 101 38
141 The moment Bruce realized he was not sober. 1.4758 0.03639 372 240 87 45
142 Or you can say, Alexa, find me a spouse. 1.4758 0.03538 372 235 97 40
143 Hey, aren't you that cake groom model? 1.4749 0.03508 358 222 102 34
144 Weddings always move me to tiers. 1.4741 0.03446 367 227 106 34
145 You're standing on one too, you know. 1.4725 0.03573 364 231 94 39
146 I see we have the same barber. 1.4724 0.03588 362 230 93 39
147 Well you’ll each have a hand on the knife so, yeah, you’ll both be complicit. 1.4724 0.03566 362 229 95 38
148 Vegan layer, keto layer, lactose free layer. Only the he/she/they on the top are edible. 1.4724 0.03795 362 240 73 49
149 Let's you and me make a run for it before we both get hurt. 1.4724 0.03502 362 226 101 35
150 It's 2020. Why are you still surprised? 1.4720 0.04134 286 185 67 34
151 I'm a divorce cake. That's her lawyer. 1.4706 0.03581 357 226 94 37
152 What a beautiful wedding. I'm in tiers. 1.4706 0.03423 357 229 92 36
153 This is actually my third superspreader gig this week. 1.4706 0.03667 357 230 86 41
154 Now, very slowly, kick the cake cutter under the table and back away. 1.4706 0.03646 357 229 88 40
155 Just face it. You may be the bigger man but he’s the right match for her. 1.4706 0.03306 357 214 118 25
156 A talking cake is the least of your problems now buddy. 1.4706 0.03492 357 222 102 33
157 So, how big is the cake you’re on top of? 1.4706 0.03446 357 220 106 31
158 Heads up. Your best man is sleeping with your fiancee. You didn't hear it from me. 1.4706 0.03423 357 219 108 30
159 You can't have a wedding without tiers. 1.4706 0.03624 357 228 90 39
160 Is it just me or does the groom look a lot less like you and a lot more like that attorney who drafted the prenup? 1.4706 0.03559 357 225 96 36
161 You want a piece of me ? 1.4688 0.03572 352 222 95 35
162 Layer. I don't even know her. 1.4680 0.03839 359 241 68 50
163 If you freeze my top layer, I'll outlast the marriage. 1.4680 0.03565 359 228 94 37
164 I just hope for her that you are as good on the inside as I am 1.4674 0.03519 353 221 99 33
165 Of course I can talk, you used self-phrasing flour! 1.4674 0.03632 353 226 89 38
166 Weddings always bring me to tiers. 1.4667 0.03716 345 223 83 39
167 Yes, they've been arguing this whole time. 1.4647 0.03662 340 217 88 35
168 She said you "take the cake," and left. 1.4647 0.03709 340 219 84 37
169 'I hope you look at her, the way you look at me, Ted' 1.4647 0.03802 340 223 76 41
170 You change your mind now and we’re BOTH saved. 1.4627 0.03677 335 214 87 34
171 PSST, hey buddy, do you know the two most common words to cause a divorce? “I DO” 1.4627 0.03725 335 216 83 36
172 What did you expect? A burning bush? 1.4626 0.03623 348 223 89 36
173 You want a piece of me, don't you? 1.4625 0.03693 333 213 86 34
174 Does this icing make me look fat? 1.4625 0.03594 333 209 94 30
175 Happens every time I go to a wedding. One minute I'm fine -- the next I'm in tiers. 1.4625 0.03543 333 207 98 28
176 Yeah, well nobody wants to hear a groom talk at a wedding either. 1.4625 0.03619 333 210 92 31
177 Be careful man, I’m not her first cake... 1.4620 0.03526 342 214 98 30
178 So sorry. The baker was from Indiana. He added the dress. 1.4618 0.03824 340 225 73 42
179 So, this is how it feels to be desserted... 1.4618 0.03708 340 220 83 37
180 Yes, I am a talking cake...and taking your Best Man’s offer of ‘a little something to help you relax and have fun’ was probably a mistake. 1.4606 0.03766 330 214 80 36
181 Go ahead, run your finger through the frosting. You know you want to. 1.4604 0.03580 328 205 95 28
182 Well, at least one of us has good taste. 1.4604 0.03580 328 205 95 28
183 I know it’s a COVID wedding Paul, but you could have at least invited the bride 1.4597 0.03748 335 218 80 37
184 That's right Dave, the drugs are kicking in and you still have to give the best man toast. 1.4582 0.03850 323 212 74 37
185 There’s going to be a lot of leftovers since this is a Zoom wedding. 1.4582 0.03800 323 210 78 35
186 The ceremony was so emotional, even I'm in tiers. 1.4579 0.03766 321 207 81 33
187 I’d say have a slice, but you no longer make your own decisions. 1.4579 0.03688 321 204 87 30
188 Tux...check. Cake...check. Now you just need to find a woman who will marry a man who talks to baked goods and you're set! 1.4577 0.03541 319 197 98 24
189 I'm not really talking. There's LSD in the punch. 1.4577 0.03704 319 203 86 30
190 Your little self is cuter than your big self 1.4557 0.03563 316 196 96 24
191 You've got this, it's a piece of cake. 1.4557 0.03835 316 206 76 34
192 She's telling him size doesn't matter. 1.4557 0.03887 316 208 72 36
193 I'm the ex. Tell me when to jump out of the cake. 1.4557 0.03835 316 206 76 34
194 Hey, you look better in real life. 1.4557 0.03591 316 197 94 25
195 You should know you can't have your cake and Edith too. 1.4554 0.03773 314 202 81 31
196 Is there something on my head? 1.4554 0.03718 314 200 85 29
197 Sorry... I'm Alexa. If you want Siri you will have to talk to the punch bowl." 1.4551 0.03824 323 212 75 36
198 I know weddings are about bringing people together, but they usually leave me in pieces 1.4551 0.03591 323 203 93 27
199 Yes, we can add 2 masks for only $5 each. 1.4548 0.03765 321 208 80 33
200 Excuse me, where are the auditions for the life size cakes? 1.4545 0.04148 264 171 66 27
201 This is it for me, Gary. But you still have a chance. RUN! 1.4537 0.03815 324 213 75 36
202 Come on: make a break for it and take me with you. It’s not too late for either of us. 1.4531 0.03675 309 195 88 26
203 And I get to relive the whole nightmare when they thaw me out for their first anniversary! 1.4531 0.03760 309 198 82 29
204 shhhhh. They think they're real 1.4531 0.03951 309 205 68 36
205 Do you think you could put a couple of tiny masks on them for me? 1.4531 0.03732 309 197 84 28
206 You may be celebrating your marriage, but it’s about to tear me apart” 1.4531 0.03704 309 196 86 27
207 Bite me. 1.4528 0.03806 307 198 79 30
208 You didn’t hear it from me, but the icing is from a can. 1.4528 0.03861 307 200 75 32
209 I hear the first cut is the deepest. 1.4528 0.03721 307 195 85 27
210 I happen to know she's not wearing underwear. 1.4525 0.03618 316 199 91 26
211 Sweetie, shhh, it's me. Sorry to tell you last minute but I thought it would be more memorable if I don't walk down the aisle but jump out of the cake instead! You OK with this? 1.4522 0.03878 314 207 72 35
212 I'm a whole lotta cake for a Zoom-only wedding. 1.4522 0.03851 314 206 74 34
213 Cut me. I dare you. 1.4503 0.03850 302 196 76 30
214 I just wish she hadn't worn stilettos. 1.4503 0.03963 302 200 68 34
215 I gotta say, you look different than you do in your cake topper. 1.4503 0.03427 302 182 104 16
216 No worries. We can remove the bride if she doesn’t show up. 1.4500 0.03722 300 190 85 25
217 Hey buddy. Between us... this isn't the first night your wife's been on top of me. 1.4500 0.03982 300 199 67 34
218 My eyes are down here 1.4500 0.03840 300 194 77 29
219 Speaking as an actual cake, no, marriage is not a piece of one. 1.4482 0.03963 299 198 68 33
220 i guess they didn’t tell the baker it was a gay wedding 1.4475 0.03944 295 194 70 31
221 You invited your ex to the wedding, drank her 'peace offering' and you’re shocked the cake is talking to you? 1.4471 0.03844 293 189 77 27
222 Right now, you look like the people on top of the cake. In twenty years, you'll look like the cake. 1.4471 0.03964 293 193 69 31
223 Their vows were beautiful—I was in tiers. 1.4471 0.03874 293 190 75 28
224 You must be the cheapskate they were talking about at the bakery. 1.4448 0.03917 290 191 68 29
225 You must be made for a REALLY big cake... 1.4444 0.04013 288 191 66 31
226 NOW do you believe me they gave us the cannabis cake instead of the coconut cake? 1.4444 0.03983 288 190 68 30
227 It’s great to get out... I’ve been in the freezer since March 1.4444 0.03922 288 188 72 28
228 Let me guess—off the top of my head—you’re the groom. 1.4441 0.03794 295 190 79 26
229 Weird how the happiest day of your life is the last day of mine, but hey, congrats, dude. 1.4441 0.03847 286 184 77 25
230 Wait - that's not you up there? Well, this is awkward. 1.4437 0.03623 293 183 90 20
231 Consume. Consummate. What's the difference? 1.4437 0.03719 293 186 84 23
232 It's just a cardboard cake but it should be fine for our virtual wedding. 1.4437 0.03812 293 189 78 26
233 The first cut is the deepest, baby I know…. 1.4437 0.03687 293 185 86 22
234 Yes, you can have her and eat me too. 1.4437 0.03842 293 190 76 27
235 You know what else really frosts me? 1.4414 0.03808 290 187 78 25
236 Enjoy, because you’ll never be on top again. 1.4409 0.04168 279 189 57 33
237 Will you stay close to me when I have to go under the knife? 1.4409 0.03979 279 183 69 27
238 Always the cake, never the bride. 1.4409 0.04075 279 186 63 30
239 Don't let the DJ play MacArthur Park 1.4406 0.03908 286 187 72 27
240 This is our new “Covid Cake” ... feeds wedding parties of up to ten guests. 1.4384 0.03875 276 178 75 23
241 I’m special because I’m only here for a day, but until death do you part is, well, you know. 1.4384 0.03841 276 177 77 22
242 You see a talking cake. And you think I'm the one that's baked? 1.4377 0.03404 281 194 61 26
243 Yeah, yeah. Everybody thinks it'll be a piece of cake." 1.4377 0.03826 281 181 77 23
244 You men are all alike, ogling the icing and ignoring my many layers. 1.4375 0.04051 272 180 65 27
245 Well maybe I can't believe you talk either. 1.4375 0.03914 272 176 73 23
246 The topper never does capture the underlying panic, does it? 1.4373 0.03944 279 183 70 26
247 For the last time...if you want them to dance we need new batteries! 1.4370 0.03934 270 175 72 23
248 She can’t satisfy you like I can. 1.4362 0.03848 282 183 75 24
249 No, dude, you just can't show up in a tux, you actually need someone to marry. 1.4349 0.04048 269 178 65 26
250 I just told her how you wanted every piece of me. 1.4349 0.03926 269 177 68 24
251 How's about I cut you up and put you in the freezer for a year? 1.4349 0.03908 269 174 73 22
252 She may make you happy, but she really frosted me. 1.4343 0.03994 274 181 67 26
253 Put two cupcakes on your head and then tell tell me it’s not weird 1.4343 0.04060 274 183 63 28
254 You're nervous? I'm about to be eaten alive. 1.4340 0.04091 265 176 63 26
255 How much time have I got? 1.4338 0.03947 272 178 70 24
256 I agree. He definitely looks like her old boyfriend. 1.4335 0.03896 263 169 74 20
257 All you'll remember about your wedding was that you ate a talking cake. 1.4335 0.03970 263 171 70 22
258 Today was sweet, but don't expect the rest to be a piece of cake. 1.4335 0.04042 263 173 66 24
259 Holy crap, I'd like to see the cake *you* came in on! 1.4335 0.04006 263 171 67 23
260 Your bride chose the submissive groom topper. 1.4333 0.03967 270 177 69 24
261 Now or never, Jeremy. No one is looking. Eat me. 1.4313 0.04088 262 174 63 25
262 If you cut me you will only be hurting yourself. 1.4313 0.03905 262 169 73 20
263 Honestly, I think people are more bothered by the cash bar. 1.4308 0.04000 260 170 68 22
264 If you think this is awkward, let’s see how the first dance goes. 1.4308 0.04074 260 172 64 24
265 You think your feet are cold, mine are icing! 1.4303 0.04216 251 168 58 25
266 Alexa,find my bride... 1.4302 0.04096 258 171 63 24
267 If you run now, you'll save both of our lives. 1.4297 0.03928 256 165 72 19
268 I'm just the first three. There are LOTS more tears in your future. 1.4297 0.04119 256 170 62 24
269 Help me! I have been demoted to bottom tier. 1.4297 0.04081 256 169 64 23
270 Hey, my eyes are down here! 1.4297 0.04229 256 173 56 27
271 Walter didn’t realize he was marrying the wrong woman until he saw the cake decoration. 1.4297 0.04075 263 175 63 25
272 I’m gluten free and vegan now, and I’ve honestly never felt more alive. 1.4292 0.04331 226 149 57 20
273 So she backed out. More cake for you. 1.4291 0.04216 254 171 57 26
274 Well, to be fair, the preacher didn't show up, either 1.4291 0.04104 254 168 63 23
275 Is it just me or does the groom look a lot less like you and a lot more like the attorney she had draft the prenup? 1.4291 0.03910 254 163 73 18
276 Wow! You must stand on a really big cake! 1.4291 0.03988 261 171 68 22
277 Have you heard the one about the groom who drank so much at his wedding that he thought the cake was telling him a joke? 1.4269 0.04152 253 169 60 24
278 Maybe you're a cake dreaming you're a man. 1.4269 0.03998 253 165 68 20
279 Hide all the cake knives and I’ll hook you up with that hot Bridesmaid. 1.4269 0.04114 253 168 62 23
280 Drop the knife and step back slowly. 1.4264 0.04093 258 172 62 24
281 Lick me - go on, you know you want to. 1.4264 0.04202 258 175 56 27
282 If you're here, who's on top of me? 1.4263 0.03980 251 163 69 19
283 I'm just warnin' you that there have been 3 other guys up there before you! 1.4263 0.04059 251 165 65 21
284 Don’t worry, everyone knows you’re marring Joseph, but your born-again in-laws wanted a man and woman on the cake! 1.4257 0.04121 249 165 62 22
285 They never get the hair right. 1.4252 0.04176 254 171 58 25
286 Psst... run 1.4252 0.04287 254 174 52 28
287 Relax, Jack. Getting married's a piece of cake. Staying married, well, that takes some frosting. 1.4252 0.03946 254 165 70 19
288 The bride has cold feet. 1.4228 0.04033 246 161 66 19
289 One of us is very high. 1.4228 0.04311 246 168 52 26
290 Your wedding ceremony left me in tiers . 1.4228 0.04155 246 164 60 22
291 This year has been tough, even the wedding cake is in tiers. 1.4228 0.04234 246 166 56 24
292 Pssst - you didn't hear it from me but that's not you up there. 1.4228 0.04155 246 164 60 22
293 Let me give you some friendly advice. Marriage is not a piece of cake 1.4228 0.04155 246 164 60 22
294 Ever heard that expression, 'You are what you eat?' 1.4228 0.03992 246 160 68 18
295 you know Marie Antoinette never actually said that, right? 1.4228 0.04074 246 162 64 20
296 Spoiler alert: she’s inside 1.4228 0.04350 246 169 50 27
297 So the cookie says to me, ‘Hey baby, you look really sweet.’ Imagine that—a talking cookie! 1.4228 0.04074 246 162 64 20
298 We'll both be smashed by the end of this. 1.4223 0.03977 251 164 68 19
299 Having her on top is icing on the cake 1.4221 0.04219 244 164 57 23
300 At my wedding, we had a mannequin with two cakes on its head. 1.4217 0.04039 249 164 65 20
301 Look on the bright side. 2020 has already lowered her expectations drastically. 1.4217 0.03998 249 163 67 19
302 You have to admit, this wedding cake 'speaks to you'. 1.4217 0.04157 249 167 59 23
303 Does this topper make me look stupid? 1.4215 0.04120 242 160 62 20
304 So, how do you know the happy couple? 1.4215 0.03950 242 161 62 19
305 I'm the closest thing to a solid foundation this marriage will ever have. 1.4215 0.04036 242 158 66 18
306 I don't. 1.4215 0.04203 242 162 58 22
307 Could you tell that couple on top of my head to put on a damn mask? 1.4215 0.04203 242 162 58 22
308 Pssst, can I jump out now? My legs are killing me. 1.4215 0.04036 242 158 66 18
309 The ceremony really brought me to tiers. 1.4215 0.04162 242 161 60 21
310 Pssst. She’ll take half. 1.4215 0.04036 242 158 66 18
311 Psssst... Don’t do it! 1.4215 0.04078 242 159 64 19
312 No mask, No slice. 1.4215 0.04203 242 162 58 22
313 Who was that cupcake I saw you talking to earlier? 1.4215 0.04243 242 163 56 23
314 Oh look, you match my hat! 1.4215 0.04120 242 160 62 20
315 Vegan buttercream? I give you less than a year. 1.4211 0.04061 247 163 64 20
316 It’s me, Frank...from high school. 1.4204 0.04165 245 164 59 22
317 I don’t know how to tell you this, but that guy the on top, it’s not you. 1.4204 0.03917 245 158 71 16
318 Did Marie just say 'I do' or 'Adieu' 1.4204 0.04165 245 164 59 22
319 I’m always in tiers by the end of these things. 1.4204 0.03874 245 157 73 15
320 Psst...tell the DJ to play MacArthur Park. 1.4204 0.04437 245 171 45 29
321 Looks like this is it for both of us. 1.4202 0.04082 238 161 56 21
322 I always get tiery at weddings. 1.4202 0.04294 238 161 54 23
323 You don't have anything to worry about. They are six inches apart 1.4202 0.04125 238 157 62 19
324 And that’s how I met your mother 1.4202 0.03812 238 150 76 12
325 Save us both. Run. 1.4199 0.04301 231 155 55 21
326 Before I'm sacrificed for this ritual, I just want to make sure you've thought this through. 1.4177 0.04135 237 157 61 19
327 I wish she was wearing flats. 1.4174 0.04075 242 160 63 19
328 Apparently size does matter. 1.4167 0.04265 240 163 54 23
329 Your bride and the best man are under this table, but you didn’t hear it from me” 1.4167 0.04265 240 163 54 23
330 Your dating app picture was ten years old. Her dating app picture was ten years old. And you’re complaining that I had four tiers on the bakery website? 1.4167 0.04055 240 158 64 18
331 „Well, I guess both our previous lives end right here tonight.“ 1.4167 0.04140 240 160 60 20
332 After the wedding, they're designed to be salt and pepper shakers. 1.4160 0.04035 238 156 65 17
333 I don’t want to hear about your fear of commitment. Do you know what’s going to happen to me later? 1.4160 0.04164 238 159 59 20
334 Where did you think my mouth would go? I'm a cake, not a snowman! 1.4153 0.04080 236 157 59 18
335 They're talking about you. 1.4153 0.04145 236 157 60 19
336 You have cold feet? I've got icing. 1.4145 0.04125 234 155 61 18
337 Yes,your hair is that bad. 1.4145 0.04257 234 158 55 21
338 The icing on the cake is that marriage is more than a word, dude. It's a sentence." 1.4145 0.04125 234 155 61 18
339 Normally I keep my cake hole shut, but you might want to rethink this one. 1.4145 0.04081 234 154 63 17
340 Is the stripper from the bachelor party gonna pop out of me again? That was fun! 1.4145 0.03990 234 152 67 15
341 ...of course what I really want to do is direct. 1.4145 0.04300 234 159 53 22
342 Whoah ! It's Adam and Steve. Not Adam and Eve. 1.4145 0.04036 234 153 65 16
343 Psst. Not to brag, but I was decorated by a super spreader. 1.4145 0.04170 234 156 59 19
344 Can you tell them to please take their shoes off? 1.4145 0.04170 234 156 59 19
345 : "And they lived happily ever after, socially isolated in a third floor walk-up" 1.4145 0.04081 234 154 63 17
346 Hey, could you get me a drink? I hate to admit this, but I’m a little dry. 1.4145 0.04213 234 157 57 20
347 Hey buddy— my eyes are down here. 1.4120 0.04224 233 157 56 20
348 You look better in marzipan. 1.4120 0.04135 233 155 60 18
349 Are you saying, you wanna piece of me? 1.4115 0.04361 226 154 51 21
350 If you think you're nervous, how do you think I feel? 1.4115 0.04224 226 151 57 18
351 Joshua tried to cover it up by poking two eyeholes 1.4113 0.04160 231 159 51 21
352 The fact you're talking to your wedding cake should tell you something. 1.4107 0.04297 224 151 54 19
353 If you need ideas for your speech, I can give you a couple off the top of my head. 1.4107 0.04057 224 151 56 17
354 After this wedding I'll be gone forever, but you'll just wish you were. 1.4107 0.04568 224 157 42 25
355 I can’t speak fo all cakes, but...a white tuxedo? 1.4107 0.04297 224 151 54 19
356 Word is you were never the “best” man. 1.4107 0.04250 224 150 56 18
357 Psst. Hey. There’s still time to save us both. 1.4107 0.04297 224 151 54 19
358 Your hair is just the icing on the cake. 1.4107 0.04250 224 150 56 18
359 I was made for this moment—don’t mess it up. 1.4107 0.04297 224 151 54 19
360 Marriage isn’t a piece of cake, Steve, no matter how easy I make it look. 1.4105 0.04364 229 157 50 22
361 I’m a self-portioning smart cake, automatically adjusting the number of portions to 50% of the room’s capacity. 1.4105 0.04230 229 154 56 19
362 Hey! How did you get down? 1.4099 0.04276 222 149 55 18
363 Oh,when the bride’s mother sang that solo? I was in tiers!! 1.4099 0.04300 222 152 50 20
364 She left with the guy you called the "best man".. 1.4099 0.04081 222 145 63 14
365 and you think you're nervous, fella. 1.4099 0.04462 222 153 47 22
366 I’m done with the whining and crying about the size of this cake - so no more tiers! 1.4099 0.04276 222 149 55 18
367 Don't you think you should tell her about the hallucinations? 1.4099 0.04276 222 149 55 18
368 I know they are only plastic figures but the look in her eye scares me. 1.4097 0.03872 227 145 71 11
369 I can see up her dress. 1.4091 0.04350 220 149 52 19
370 I had a non-speaking part in ‘The Wedding Singer’ so this is a step up for me. 1.4091 0.04254 220 147 56 17
371 I’m going right to your new wife’s thighs. 1.4089 0.04418 225 155 48 22
372 Actually, I'm a torte lawyer. 1.4089 0.03994 225 146 66 13
373 Death by a thousand cuts. 1.4089 0.04140 225 149 60 16
374 Make it quick and I won't shed a tier 1.4083 0.04180 218 144 59 15
375 Tell her to lose the stiletto heels. 1.4054 0.04319 222 151 52 19
376 Nice to meet you in person 1.4047 0.04216 215 143 57 15
377 ‘Ok, so what we have here is a multi-layered situation.’ 1.4045 0.04298 220 149 53 18
378 Maybe it wasn't a good idea to eat mushrooms on your wedding day, Dylan... 1.4038 0.04545 213 148 44 21
379 I don't think it will last - they're arguing already 1.4038 0.04190 213 141 58 14
380 So, this cake walks into a doctor’s office with a wedding couple on his head... 1.4038 0.04346 213 144 52 17
381 Word of advice: be very careful what you ask for at Aladdin's Magic Bakery. 1.4038 0.04190 213 141 58 14
382 I'm telling you there are more layers to this story. 1.4038 0.04243 213 141 56 15
383 Sometimes, I wish I was a pie. I would learn all my fractions. 1.4038 0.04190 213 141 58 14
384 Honestly, I don't think it's going to last. The groom has been eyeing me all night. 1.4038 0.04294 213 143 54 16
385 Don't marry her! She's a witch who turned me into a talking wedding cake! 1.4028 0.04374 211 143 51 17
386 She told me to tell you its not you, Gary, she's just decided to go gluten free. 1.4028 0.04322 211 142 53 16
387 Wanna guess why he looks like your brother Fred? 1.4028 0.04216 211 140 57 14
388 Don't worry. Getting married is a piece of cake. 1.4028 0.04476 211 145 47 19
389 You'll do alright as long as you repeat after me: marriage is a piece of cake. 1.4028 0.04425 211 144 49 18
390 Tell them the cake talks to you and told you not to get married. They'll help you leave immediately. 1.4028 0.04425 211 144 49 18
391 Angel or devil? Soon enough you’ll know 1.4028 0.04425 211 144 49 18
392 Want to watch me make them dance? 1.4028 0.03936 216 139 67 10
393 It's pandemic, I get it, no guests. But where's your bride? 1.4028 0.04498 216 150 45 21
394 I know, I know, I know you don't like being put on a pedestal, but...surprise! 1.4028 0.04252 216 145 55 16
395 In the Theater, this is called FORESHADOWING 1.4019 0.04188 209 138 58 13
396 You look better than the figure -- remember, the cake always adds ten pounds. 1.4019 0.04349 209 141 52 16
397 I was the top tier at my first wedding. 1.4019 0.04296 209 140 54 15
398 Don't make this weird. Just grab a piece of me and stick it in your wife's mouth. 1.4019 0.04132 209 137 60 12
399 This isn't how I wanted to spend my weekend either. 1.4019 0.03331 209 149 45 14
400 If you go through with this, she'll eat us alive. 1.4019 0.04454 209 143 48 18
401 Run away now and you'll save us both! 1.4019 0.04076 209 136 62 11
402 In 2020, it wasn't the machines that became self-aware. 1.4019 0.04132 209 137 60 12
403 It's been an honor to serve you on my last day 1.4019 0.04242 209 139 56 14
404 Personally, I think it’s better to have your cake than to eat it. 1.4019 0.04132 209 137 60 12
405 Psst....Not sure the LSD before the wedding was a good idea 1.4019 0.04329 214 145 52 17
406 Psst, repeat after me. "Yes, dear." 1.4019 0.04380 214 146 50 18
407 Wow. You look a lot bigger in person. 1.4019 0.04227 214 143 56 15
408 Vanilla, but that’s your only question? 1.4019 0.04329 214 145 52 17
409 She’s not saying she loves him. She’s warning him not to track frosting into the house. 1.4019 0.04227 214 143 56 15
410 Sure it’s all hunky dory today, but a year from now we both might be in the deep freeze. 1.4019 0.04380 214 146 50 18
411 Hey, buddy, free me from this cake and I’ll grant you three wishes. 1.4019 0.04329 214 145 52 17
412 Alexa.....turn off cake 1.4019 0.04227 214 143 56 15
413 You think you're sad? I've been in tiers all night! 1.4019 0.04329 214 145 52 17
414 Do you think everyone can tell I’m baked? 1.4019 0.04227 214 143 56 15
415 Yeah man, believe it or not, this is the pinnacle of your life...mine too BTW. 1.4019 0.04329 214 145 52 17
416 Pssst, this is her third time atop a cake. Don't tell her I told you! 1.4010 0.04556 192 130 47 15
417 There are layers of meaning here that go beyond human understanding. 1.4010 0.04324 207 139 53 15
418 As both your wedding cake and your friend,I recommend that you take a break from microdosing. 1.4010 0.04536 207 143 45 19
419 I have butter cream frosting and a raspberry mousse filling, and I can experience pain. 1.4009 0.04200 212 141 57 14
420 You should see what we do to the human at cake weddings. 1.4009 0.04558 212 148 43 21
421 You now may eat the bride 1.4009 0.04459 212 146 47 19
422 I hope for your sake, these are NOT anatomically correct. 1.3990 0.04307 208 140 53 15
423 She says she liked you better on Zoom. 1.3971 0.04291 209 141 53 15
424 Dude, it’s 2020, no one is going to blame you if you run. 1.3971 0.04601 209 147 41 21
425 This is the last peace you'll ever have! 1.3961 0.04318 207 140 52 15
426 You look familiar. 1.3961 0.04264 207 139 54 14
427 Get out while you can. She chose carrot cake. 1.3960 0.04278 202 135 54 13
428 Tell your lovely bride to put down the knife, and we can talk about this. 1.3960 0.04392 202 137 50 15
429 So, there are more than 10 people here from more than 1 household? 1.3960 0.04335 202 136 52 14
430 Of course, Alan, you can totally have more tequila. cakes always speak at weddings. 1.3960 0.04335 202 136 52 14
431 I've never seen you look at her the way you look at me. 1.3951 0.04508 205 142 45 18
432 It's bittersweet chocolate. 1.3950 0.04247 200 133 55 12
433 Single slice to go? 1.3950 0.04750 200 142 37 21
434 I know, you didn’t think 2020 could get worse! You’re talking to a cake. But think about it from my perspective, I suddenly acquired a consciousness. 1.3950 0.04697 200 141 39 20
435 After 8 months unemployed, it was either this or a contract gig with Entenmann's. 1.3941 0.04056 203 140 49 14
436 It's not over, we can both get out of this! 1.3941 0.04375 203 138 50 15
437 It's 2020. Are you really shocked that a cake can talk? 1.3941 0.04430 203 139 48 15
438 Please get these people off of my hat. 1.3941 0.04430 203 139 48 16
439 And to top it all off, seems she's run off with your little brother. 1.3941 0.04430 203 139 48 16
440 It was at that moment Herald realized he was at the wrong wedding. 1.3941 0.04375 203 138 50 15
441 You should have told them I’m for a Bar Mitzvah. They charge twice as much for me when they know it’s a wedding. 1.3941 0.04539 203 141 44 18
442 I always tier up at weddings. 1.3939 0.04565 198 137 44 17
443 Take me with you! 1.3939 0.04620 198 138 42 18
444 In her defense, you don’t look like your Tinder profile either. 1.3930 0.04111 201 132 59 10
445 On the bright side, since the bride isn't here, you can have all of me to yourself! 1.3930 0.04111 201 132 59 10
446 The champagne fountain was a much better conversationalist. 1.3930 0.04347 201 136 51 14
447 She chose number 50, of the ways to leave your lover. 1.3929 0.04539 196 135 45 16
448 I could make it happen. So simple. Just a cake structural failure, over she goes, and then you're free. 1.3929 0.04539 196 135 45 16
449 Enjoy yourself, it's as close to equal, in her eyes, as you will ever be. 1.3929 0.04363 196 132 51 13
450 How much time do I have left? 1.3927 0.04440 191 129 49 13
451 Hey, you look familiar! 1.3911 0.04711 202 144 37 21
452 I can't stand them either. 1.3900 0.04181 200 133 56 11
453 Take a look- that's not you up there that's your buddy Ralph! 1.3900 0.04300 200 135 52 13
454 Psst.. Hey. You. Yes. Can you warn her that just yesterday I saw him up there with a brunette? 1.3889 0.04559 198 138 43 17
455 PSSSS,listen up,run! I mean run as away as fast as you can. The icing is tofu and sugar substitute. The cake is mostly bean flour with vanilla and date sugar. 1.3889 0.04502 198 137 45 16
456 The Gender Reveal option is extra. 1.3889 0.04502 198 137 45 16
457 Yes, this cake is talking and it's saying 'don't.' 1.3889 0.04614 198 139 41 18
458 Are human feet always this cold? 1.3889 0.04328 198 134 51 13
459 Yes I am the icing on the cake 1.3886 0.04584 193 134 43 16
460 I can add a marriage counselor to the topper for thirty bucks more. 1.3869 0.04540 199 139 43 17
461 Has she told you yet that I’m also a gender-reveal cake? 1.3866 0.04737 194 138 37 19
462 It was at this moment that Roger questioned whether the cake was truly vegan. 1.3866 0.04385 194 132 49 13
463 Woah,man... you look really different in person. 1.3866 0.04446 194 133 47 14
464 Run! 1.3862 0.04769 189 134 37 18
465 You're wearing that? 1.3862 0.04827 189 135 35 19
466 That’s right. They’re fake, but I’m real. 1.3862 0.04400 189 128 49 12
467 She likes me more than you. 1.3862 0.04464 189 129 47 13
468 So I got the hair wrong! 1.3862 0.04588 189 131 43 15
469 "You sure you want a piece of this?" 1.3862 0.04588 189 131 43 15
470 Those mushrooms kicking in yet? 1.3862 0.04271 189 126 53 10
471 Is this your first wedding too? 1.3850 0.04559 187 129 44 14
472 Well, you can "have me", but you can't eat me too. 1.3850 0.04093 187 132 42 13
473 Hey buddy, you want a piece of me? 1.3842 0.04507 190 131 45 14
474 So they made a mistake...get John to put on a dress. 1.3842 0.04689 190 134 39 17
475 What starts in tiers, ends in tears. 1.3842 0.04569 190 132 43 15
476 Guilt sank in as Gulliver placed the Lilliputians atop the wedding cake. 1.3842 0.04569 190 132 43 15
477 The life is short, but sweet. 1.3842 0.04445 190 130 47 13
478 Oh yes, the best man did slip you a mushroom. 1.3842 0.04748 190 135 37 18
479 That's actually her with your best man 1.3842 0.04689 190 134 39 17
480 What do you mean I don't get emotional at weddings. I'm in tiers. 1.3842 0.04748 190 135 37 18
481 A glass of champagne, please. Oh...so sorry. I thought you were a waiter. 1.3842 0.04318 190 128 51 11
482 I initially auditioned for the wedding band, but a gig's a gig. 1.3842 0.04629 190 133 41 16
483 Excuse my gushing, but this is my first time meeting a wedding cake topper model. 1.3842 0.04507 190 131 45 14
484 Let's shed a tier and get out of here. 1.3842 0.04187 190 131 47 12
485 You're looking at 20 year older you: white-frosted head, layers of sponge and full of tiers. 1.3842 0.04318 190 128 51 11
486 I’ll topple over and create a diversion. Now’s your chance! 1.3842 0.04220 190 129 50 11
487 I agree, neither of us should be here. 1.3842 0.04187 190 126 55 9
488 You, me and a fork for old time’s sake. Whaddaya say? 1.3842 0.04689 190 134 39 17
489 Goin' somewhere buddy? 1.3838 0.04259 185 123 53 9
490 Sure, you live happily ever after and what’s left of me spends a year in the freezer. 1.3838 0.04395 185 125 49 11
491 I sing too 1.3830 0.04539 188 130 44 14
492 Do you think she would be marrying you if you hadn't won the New Yorker caption contest? 1.3830 0.04601 188 131 42 15
493 Did you know that marriage is the cause of divorce? 1.3830 0.04476 188 129 46 13
494 They're tiers of joy 1.3830 0.04412 188 133 40 15
495 This is the best superspreader I've been to all month! 1.3830 0.04539 188 130 44 14
496 I’m fine; I’m just in tiers. 1.3830 0.04539 188 130 44 14
497 Honey, did you really take acid right before our wedding? 1.3830 0.04663 188 132 40 16
498 Have a good look, because it's the last time you'll be on top of anything 1.3825 0.04689 183 128 40 15
499 My agent tried to get me a gig as a fruitcake 1.3825 0.04689 183 128 40 15
500 But if you’re here, who’s that making out with the bride? 1.3825 0.04493 183 125 46 12
501 Are you sure the people have no bread? 1.3825 0.04559 183 126 44 13
502 They're plastic. They don't have to social distance. 1.3817 0.04241 186 124 53 9
503 I bet I’ll last longer than your marriage. 1.3817 0.04376 186 126 49 11
504 This might be my last chance to tell you how I feel about you. 1.3817 0.04442 186 127 47 12
505 Let them eat Marie.” 1.3817 0.04696 186 131 39 16
506 Weddings always make me tiery. 1.3817 0.04309 186 125 51 10
507 Facemaaask!!! 1.3817 0.04571 186 129 43 14
508 She's trouble, and that's from the top. 1.3817 0.04442 186 127 47 12
509 I hear ya, but I'm an old family recipe so two guys up there were pretty much out of the question. 1.3817 0.04634 186 130 41 15
510 Congrats. You made it to the top. 1.3817 0.04442 186 127 47 12
511 Marriage? I'm telling you, it's death by a thousand cuts. 1.3817 0.04309 186 125 51 10
512 Hearing voices from wedding cakes is often a sign of commitment problems. 1.3817 0.04309 186 125 51 10
513 Here's to new beginnings and horrific endings. 1.3817 0.04819 186 133 35 18
514 ...and the REALLY bad news is that I’m gluten free. 1.3817 0.04507 186 128 45 13
515 Last night I dreamt that I was a wedding cake. I woke up in tiers. 1.3812 0.04245 181 120 53 8
516 When’s the part where we get to object to this union? 1.3812 0.04245 181 120 53 8
517 Yes, I can see up the bride's dress. 1.3812 0.04387 181 122 49 10
518 Glad to see I’m not the only one here who’s bland and tasteless. 1.3812 0.04724 181 127 39 15
519 Dude, in one bite your life will shrink in one way but expand in another. 1.3812 0.04592 181 125 43 13
520 Doesn’t seem like a piece of cake now does it? 1.3812 0.04724 181 127 39 15
521 Hey, Mac, gotta knife? 1.3810 0.04457 189 130 46 13
522 Oh sure, at first it's all 'oohh and aaww' ; then they cut you to ribbons and smash you into each others' faces. 1.3799 0.04625 179 124 42 13
523 The couple on the top floor never shut up. 1.3797 0.04291 187 126 51 10
524 Am I crazy or are there people on my head? 1.3791 0.04190 182 128 40 12
525 Remember it. This is the last time you’ll ever see eye to eye. 1.3791 0.04571 182 126 43 13
526 Sorry, John. She told me that, in the end, size does matter. 1.3791 0.04766 182 129 37 16
527 She’s in quarantine... and says, you shouldn’t wait. 1.3791 0.04368 182 123 49 10
528 I'll tell you where I got my topper if you tell me where you got yours. 1.3791 0.04571 182 126 43 13
529 Psst–I heard the bride wanted a piece of me 1.3791 0.04766 182 129 37 16
530 Steve, if I am actually the foundation of this marriage, we gotta talk. 1.3791 0.04766 182 129 37 16
531 Does my makeup look caked on to you? 1.3791 0.04368 182 123 49 10
532 Sorry but he was just a better fit! 1.3784 0.04320 185 125 50 10
533 Pssst, layer 2 is cardboard. 1.3778 0.04326 180 121 50 9
534 Could you tell your bride to take off her heels? They're giving me a headache. 1.3778 0.04537 180 124 44 12
535 At least you supported a small business right? 1.3778 0.04671 180 126 40 14
536 You can have me OR eat me - not both. 1.3770 0.04551 183 127 43 13
537 If you don't get yourself out of this; we're both just going to end up being eaten alive! 1.3770 0.04279 183 123 51 9
538 She said to tell you not to wait. 1.3770 0.04417 183 125 47 11
539 Eat all you want, but please don't shove me in anyone's face. 1.3770 0.04617 183 128 41 14
540 This is why I should be the only thing baked on your wedding day. 1.3770 0.04417 183 125 47 11
541 There's a hacksaw in the center tier. 1.3764 0.04499 178 122 45 11
542 When the time comes, make it quick. 1.3757 0.04516 181 125 44 12
543 You may have heard of the cake walk--well, I'm the cake talk ... 1.3750 0.04603 176 122 42 12
544 You stick a finger in the icing and I collapse the cake. Are we clear ? 1.3736 0.04565 174 120 43 11
545 Yes, she really does love him. And no, I'm not chocolate. 1.3736 0.03854 174 121 44 8
546 Great hair 1.3736 0.04565 174 120 43 11
547 Your mother and me want you to marry a woman. 1.3736 0.04847 174 124 35 15
548 You’re high 1.3736 0.04708 174 122 39 13
549 Right as she’s about to take a bite of me you smash me in her face 1.3736 0.04565 174 120 43 11
550 You're not climbing up there too, Ron. 1.3736 0.04915 174 125 33 16
551 She'll never love you as much as I love you, Paul. 1.3736 0.04708 174 122 39 13
552 She ran off with the baker, didn't she? 1.3729 0.04787 177 126 36 15
553 Do you want a piece of me? 1.3721 0.04524 172 118 44 10
554 She ran off with the Butcher And the Baker. 1.3721 0.04744 172 121 38 13
555 Speak now or forever hold your piece... 1.3714 0.04471 175 120 45 10
556 Hindsight is 2020 1.3714 0.04615 175 122 41 12
557 Psst, I know this looks like a traditional wedding but JSYK, I self-identify as a pie. 1.3714 0.04755 175 124 37 14
558 Hey buddy. How about you skip the cake-cutting and just serve those rowdy cupcakes over there? 1.3706 0.04707 170 119 39 12
559 Don’t worry buddy, things change. I used to be two teaspoons of baking powder. You’ll adjust. 1.3706 0.04480 170 116 45 9
560 You look taller in person 1.3699 0.04930 173 125 32 16
561 She's not coming. She thinks the figurine makes her look fat. 1.3699 0.04577 173 120 42 11
562 I’m filled with both excitement and dread with a hint of strawberry. I have many layers. 1.3699 0.04503 173 119 44 10
563 Well,you should have told them you were gay. 1.3699 0.04721 173 122 38 13
564 Sure I’m a pretty face but feel crumby inside. 1.3699 0.04649 173 121 40 12
565 You should hear some of the things these two have been arguing about! 1.3699 0.04503 173 119 44 10
566 Of course I am the icing on the cake! 1.3699 0.04577 173 120 42 11
567 That ceremony left me in tiers 1.3699 0.04649 173 121 40 12
568 "This is where I usually like to point out to the happy couple that, as a matter of principle, wanting to have your cake and eat it too is a bad idea." 1.3699 0.04721 173 122 38 13
569 Yes, cake’s talk. Up until 2020 we’ve had nothing to complain about. 1.3699 0.04649 173 121 40 12
570 As your cake, I must warn you not to go through with this! 1.3699 0.04577 173 120 42 11
571 You should hear what they are saying about you! 1.3699 0.04503 173 119 44 10
572 You’re so much bigger in person! 1.3699 0.04930 173 125 32 16
573 She wanted the frosting to look like your hair. 1.3699 0.04273 173 116 50 7
574 Guv's new Covid rules...Only one guest per wedding 1.3699 0.04503 173 119 44 10
575 You couldn't even agree on chocolate or vanilla-- are you sure this is a good idea? 1.3699 0.04792 173 123 36 14
576 It probably is just a coincidence she looks like your mother. 1.3699 0.04792 173 123 36 14
577 Any chance you can sneak back a few shrimp? 1.3699 0.04577 173 120 42 11
578 They said they were headed to MacArthur Park. 1.3699 0.04861 173 124 34 15
579 I offer raspberry over chocolate, not hope over experience. 1.3699 0.04577 173 120 42 11
580 It's 2020, does a talking cake really surprise you anymore?? 1.3699 0.04427 173 118 46 9
581 Give it a minute. She found out about his little cupcake on the side. 1.3699 0.04577 173 120 42 11
582 Actually, you’re in MY nightmare. 1.3699 0.04721 173 122 38 13
583 SIX FEET 1.3699 0.04861 173 124 34 15
584 I told you 2020 would end in tiers 1.3699 0.04649 173 121 40 12
585 It’s great to finally put a face to a shoe print 1.3688 0.05173 141 99 32 10
586 Listen: Historically and metaphorically, don't let 'em eat cake! 1.3684 0.04459 171 117 45 9
587 Sorry, Mr. Trump. We couldn’t give your figurine a huge bulge in the crotch area. 1.3684 0.05106 171 126 27 18
588 Spoiler alert I taste like box cake that you just paid $2000 for... 1.3684 0.04900 171 123 33 15
589 If you go through with this, I’m finished. 1.3676 0.05199 136 95 32 9
590 All I'm saying is, if my wife ordered a gluten-free cake with vegan icing for our wedding, I'd not bother to freeze the top tier for the first anniversary. 1.3675 0.04703 166 116 39 11
591 She’s sleeping with your brother 1.3675 0.04930 166 119 33 14
592 I'm looking for this "flour" girl everybody keeps mentioning 1.3669 0.04165 169 112 52 5
593 These tiers are only the beginning. 1.3669 0.04491 169 116 44 9
594 This wedding has me in tiers. 1.3669 0.04794 169 120 36 13
595 She'll have my shape in a few years. 1.3669 0.04720 169 119 38 12
596 That's right punk, don't even think about touching a knife . ... 1.3669 0.04720 169 119 38 12
597 The couple on top are splitting up. She caught him with a bride on top of another cake. 1.3669 0.04794 169 120 36 13
598 I’m so happy for you, I’m in tiers. 1.3669 0.04720 169 119 38 12
599 I promised myself no tiers. 1.3669 0.04491 169 116 44 9
600 Insert a dime, watch them dance! But for just three quarters... 1.3669 0.04939 169 122 32 15
601 Creating a living cake was the easiest part! It was the gluten free, dairy free, egg free, soy free that was hard! And I’m free range! 1.3669 0.04794 169 120 36 13
602 Great party. What happens next? 1.3669 0.04411 169 115 46 8
603 A caucasian heterosexual couple, how unfashionable! 1.3669 0.04939 169 122 32 15
604 We're going back to Tier 1 from Tier 3, whatever that means 1.3669 0.04720 169 119 38 12
605 You didn't get this from me but they put purell in the frosting. 1.3669 0.04720 169 119 38 12
606 You still haven’t told your mother, have you? 1.3669 0.04331 169 114 48 7
607 Looks like the end for both of us. 1.3669 0.04794 169 120 36 13
608 I would have gone with a layered look. 1.3669 0.04451 169 118 41 9
609 After they've said "I do," you can't really ask for a recount. 1.3669 0.04867 169 121 34 14
610 We had a sale on straight couples. 1.3669 0.04867 169 121 34 14
611 Come on. No one will notice just one bite... 1.3669 0.04491 169 116 44 9
612 Okay last chance Ted, for my sake, are you sure she’s the one? 1.3669 0.04491 169 116 44 9
613 You can run your finger along my side if you want... 1.3669 0.04165 169 112 52 5
614 Anyone ever told you your head looks like broccoli? 1.3669 0.04939 169 122 32 15
615 No, I won't scream when you cut me. But you'll know what you've done. 1.3653 0.04602 167 116 41 10
616 To be honest, you look nothing like your figurine. 1.3653 0.04523 167 115 43 9
617 Cake walk! I wish. 1.3653 0.04602 167 116 41 10
618 We'll both be a lot happier if we leave right now buddy 1.3653 0.04756 167 118 37 12
619 Yeah...well, not as crazy as you getting married. 1.3653 0.04979 167 121 31 15
620 Just between us, I give ‘em Two years. 1.3653 0.04602 167 116 41 10
621 It's my first as well. 1.3653 0.04602 167 116 41 10
622 Kyle now regrets eating the entire plate of brownies before the ceremony. 1.3653 0.04756 167 118 37 12
623 Psst, do it, nobody is watching! 1.3653 0.04602 167 116 41 10
624 Could you tell me if I am a wedding or a divorce cake? 1.3653 0.04680 167 117 39 11
625 She found out you voted for Trump didn’t she? 1.3653 0.04680 167 117 39 11
626 A clip-on tie; really? 1.3647 0.04771 170 121 36 13
627 Sorry but she chose your little brother instead. 1.3647 0.04622 170 119 40 11
628 I know. People save the top tier until their first anniversary. But you're smarter than that. You're gonna save the bottom tier. It's literally the biggest tier. And as you see, there's a life at stake. 1.3647 0.04697 170 120 38 12
629 I'm the ghost of marriages past... 1.3647 0.04843 170 122 34 14
630 Do you, Duncan Hines, take this woman, Betty Crocker... 1.3642 0.04696 162 113 39 10
631 What I really want to do is direct. 1.3642 0.04696 162 113 39 10
632 Looks like we were both in tiers tonight. 1.3642 0.04777 162 114 37 11
633 I'm the icing on the cake -- who the heck are you? 1.3642 0.04777 162 114 37 11
634 I know; you never thought you'd see it: Socially distanced wedding figurines on top of a talking cake. 1.3642 0.04777 162 114 37 11
635 You know what they say,always the cake and never the cake topper. 1.3642 0.04530 162 111 43 8
636 Could you move me closer to the bouquet toss? 1.3642 0.04696 162 113 39 10
637 I always get tiered up at weddings. 1.3642 0.04613 162 112 41 9
638 She ran off with the baker. It was the icing on the cake. 1.3642 0.04935 162 116 33 13
639 Don't worry, you're bride is nervous too. She's talking to her bouquet right now. 1.3642 0.04357 162 109 47 6
640 No one will ever believe you. 1.3636 0.04945 165 119 32 14
641 Love has many layers. 1.3636 0.04794 165 117 36 12
642 She isn’t wearing any undies. 1.3636 0.04945 165 119 32 14
643 Pssst. Your fly is down. 1.3636 0.05093 165 121 28 16
644 I’m baked, how bout you? 1.3636 0.04794 165 117 36 12
645 Nice bow tie, nerd. 1.3636 0.04637 165 115 40 10
646 Getting high won't get you out of this one. 1.3631 0.04580 168 117 41 10
647 Run, dude. 1.3631 0.04657 168 118 39 11
648 Don't eat the lasagna. 1.3631 0.04881 168 121 33 14
649 You think I'M scary?!? You're not wearing a mask!!! 1.3631 0.04954 168 122 31 15
650 The wedding was rigged. 1.3631 0.04954 168 122 31 15
651 The bakery van's out back. Make a run for it. 1.3625 0.04975 160 115 32 13
652 Ever wonder if the world is cake, and you're its topper? 1.3625 0.04476 160 109 44 7
653 It was a beautiful ceremony. I'm in tiers! 1.3625 0.04563 160 110 42 8
654 Marriage is like improvisational acting, just go with it, and relax those arms, you look stupid. 1.3625 0.04815 160 113 36 11
655 Psst. Just pound on the church door and shout ‘Elaine!! Elaine!!’ 1.3625 0.04732 160 112 38 10
656 . . . but if you DON’T eat me, you will have a long and happy marriage. 1.3625 0.05131 160 117 28 15
657 There's a metal file and a business card for a good attorney in my top layer. 1.3625 0.05054 160 116 30 14
658 Not to put a damper on the festivities, but statistics show you two have a 50-50 chance. 1.3625 0.04649 160 111 40 9
659 What did you expect from a social distancing cake? 1.3625 0.04732 160 112 38 10
660 We're not so different, you and me. 1.3625 0.04815 160 113 36 11
661 Where'd that girl come from? It's supposed to be Jeffrey. 1.3625 0.03005 160 120 31 8
662 I told her you forgot your mask, so she left. 1.3625 0.04649 160 111 40 9
663 So, you expected the little toy Groom to look like you? Why ruin everyone’s appetite for dessert! 1.3625 0.04649 160 111 40 9
664 Of course I can talk. Where do you think the expression “shut your cake-hole” comes from? 1.3625 0.04896 160 114 34 12
665 I'm really looking forward to the reception. 1.3625 0.04896 160 114 34 12
666 Nice sentiment, but considering yourself 'the luckiest man alive' in 2020 is a rather low bar. 1.3625 0.04732 160 112 38 10
667 Oh, this is just the wedding; it only gets weirder from here! 1.3625 0.04896 160 114 34 12
668 There are a lot of nice girls at this wedding. Why don't you go talk to some of them? 1.3625 0.04732 160 112 38 10
669 Go ahead, you’ll never fit into that tux again anyway. 1.3625 0.04815 160 113 36 11
670 Hold on to that ring. I think they are renegotiating. 1.3625 0.04563 160 110 42 8
671 Psst... Do you think you could get me a cigarette and blindfold before they cut into me? 1.3625 0.04732 160 112 38 10
672 This is the last cake she will ever let you eat. 1.3625 0.05131 160 117 28 15
673 Let's salvage something out of this, send me to the food bank. 1.3625 0.05054 160 116 30 14
674 Don’t look so glum, you get me all to yourself now. 1.3625 0.04896 160 114 34 12
675 you must really love this woman, man- to let her put a cauliflower frosting on me! 1.3625 0.05131 160 117 28 15
676 I guess “congratulations John and Alex” was confusing for the baker. 1.3625 0.04649 160 111 40 9
677 'Run like hell' 1.3620 0.04507 163 112 43 8
678 She eloped with the caterer. Looks, like you are going to get to eat your cake and freeze it too. 1.3620 0.04590 163 113 41 9
679 Don’t let them eat cake! 1.3620 0.04792 163 118 32 13
680 I just think it’s wrong on so many levels 1.3620 0.04590 163 113 41 9
681 Hey, buddy. Heads up. The caterer sneezed on the top-tier icing. 1.3620 0.05136 163 120 27 16
682 Weddings make me tier up. 1.3620 0.04909 163 117 33 13
683 Yup, it's a pyramid scheme. 1.3620 0.04422 163 111 45 7
684 Just wait, this is CBD Cake! 1.3620 0.04753 163 115 37 11
685 Look out - her feet feel a little cold to me 1.3620 0.04590 163 113 41 9
686 Don't cry, I'm going to start to tier up 1.3620 0.04422 163 111 45 7
687 She hopes you can still be friends 1.3620 0.04590 163 113 41 9
688 Hey, fatso! You want a piece of me? 1.3614 0.04846 166 119 34 13
689 Maybe the bride was stollen" 1.3614 0.04693 166 117 38 11
690 So, I see you drank the funny tasting punch. 1.3614 0.04770 166 118 36 12
691 Trust me, a perfect wedding has joy, tears and, most importantly, no one gets knifed. 1.3614 0.04453 166 114 44 8
692 Think of it as 'one less bell to answer' 1.3614 0.04920 166 120 32 14
693 Which one of us do you think will survive till tomorrow? 1.3614 0.04693 166 117 38 11
694 Sweetheart, you gotta trust me blindly on this one. At the count of three, jump off this thing and run. 1.3614 0.04534 166 115 42 9
695 What? You never saw a talking cake before?! 1.3614 0.04920 166 120 32 14
696 I'm not saying getting married is a bad idea, but she DID choose carrot cake and lavender frosting 1.3614 0.04534 166 115 42 9
697 I dunno, don’t you think the whole bride and groom look is a bit heteronormative? 1.3614 0.04614 166 116 40 10
698 Does that look like happily ever after to you? 1.3609 0.04635 169 119 39 11
699 I told you this would end in tiers. 1.3602 0.04870 161 115 34 12
700 I shed tiers and go to pieces. 1.3602 0.04625 161 112 40 9
701 You might know my cousin? He was at your bachelor party. A lady jumped out of him and gave you a lap dance? 1.3598 0.04485 164 113 43 7
702 I like to get totally baked at weddings. 1.3598 0.04315 164 111 47 6
703 ‘It would be wrong on so many levels.’ 1.3598 0.05109 164 121 27 16
704 I'm supposed to jump out naked. Tell me when. 1.3598 0.04807 164 117 35 12
705 Have you ever wondered about your reality? 1.3598 0.04485 164 113 43 8
706 Why aren’t they six feet apart!? 1.3598 0.04960 164 119 31 14
707 You're anthropomorphizing cake now? Gary, self-isolation is really getting to you. 1.3598 0.04568 164 114 41 9
708 You may now Zoom the bride. 1.3598 0.04649 164 115 39 10
709 You know that I'm the only reason you're here. 1.3585 0.04486 159 109 43 7
710 You look bigger in person. 1.3585 0.04574 159 110 41 8
711 For better or for worse could mean a lot of things in . . . The Twilight Zone. 1.3585 0.04745 159 112 37 10
712 She's not wearing panties! 1.3585 0.04745 159 112 37 10
713 I give it a year. 1.3585 0.04661 159 111 39 9
714 Those two will never stay together. 1.3585 0.04486 159 109 43 7
715 Look closer. That's your brother up there. 1.3585 0.04745 159 112 37 10
716 I saw you. At the rehearsal dinner. With my sister. 1.3585 0.04661 159 111 39 9
717 It wasn't me. Cakes don't fart. 1.3585 0.04745 159 112 37 10
718 The upside- I’m all yours. 1.3585 0.04910 159 114 33 12
719 Hey buddy... Would you drop that "Nutty as a fruitcake" line from your speech? 1.3585 0.03545 159 116 34 8
720 The back door is unlocked; make a run for it. 1.3585 0.04787 159 115 32 12
721 "Does this frosting make me look fat?" 1.3585 0.04661 159 111 39 9
722 I used to be married too, but she left me for another pie. 1.3585 0.04828 159 113 35 11
723 Can you remove the middle layer? My head is killing me. 1.3585 0.04745 159 112 37 10
724 Sorry, last minute casting change. 1.3585 0.04397 159 108 45 6
725 Don't worry; she's really a man but the bakery insisted on the dress. 1.3585 0.04910 159 114 33 12
726 You've grown! And you can move! 1.3585 0.04661 159 111 39 9
727 Great fun at the bachelor party! Now could you get me outta here? 1.3585 0.04574 159 110 41 8
728 It's either her or me - you can't have your cake and eat it too. 1.3585 0.04661 159 111 39 9
729 Guess how much a talking wedding cake costs? 1.3585 0.04828 159 113 35 11
730 It could’ve been us. 1.3585 0.04745 159 112 37 10
731 Now, nobody’s looking, run! 1.3585 0.04745 159 112 37 10
732 We should save the bottom layer 1.3585 0.04486 159 109 43 7
733 Pssst! Hey! Can you let me know when Trump has conceded so I know when to jump out? 1.3585 0.04910 159 114 33 12
734 She buys fake Christmas trees; what did you expect? 1.3576 0.04783 165 118 35 12
735 At least tell me if they make a cute couple. 1.3576 0.04626 165 116 39 10
736 Weddings always have me in tiers. 1.3576 0.04463 165 114 43 8
737 Word around the bakery is she's really not that into you. 1.3562 0.04464 160 110 43 7
738 If you want to escape, there's a divorce file baked inside. 1.3562 0.04721 160 113 37 10
739 Don’t act coy — everyone knows you’re baked too. 1.3562 0.04721 160 113 37 10
740 Your speech had me in tiers. 1.3562 0.04637 160 112 39 9
741 Odds are, you will get another chance. 1.3548 0.04734 155 109 37 9
742 I was saying that you are a mere, pale facsimile of your cake topper, providing epistemological proof of Plato’s forms. Geez, I have more layers than you. 1.3548 0.05395 155 117 21 17
743 Bad news: Your fiancee took off with an old flame. Good news: Eating cake while sobbing in anguish is negative calories. 1.3548 0.04821 155 110 35 10
744 Someone coughed on me, just sayin'. 1.3548 0.04907 155 111 33 11
745 Honey, marriage is no piece of cake 1.3548 0.04821 155 110 35 10
746 Belittled. Get used to it. 1.3548 0.04992 155 112 31 12
747 She decided we're both too vanilla. 1.3548 0.04734 155 109 37 9
748 So... you think you can top this? 1.3548 0.04365 155 105 45 5
749 You look fatter in-person. 1.3546 0.05243 141 102 28 11
750 I've been in tiers all day! 1.3544 0.04758 158 112 36 10
751 I can’t forever hold my piece. 1.3544 0.04924 158 114 32 12
752 Do you take this they, to be your lawfully wedded them? 1.3544 0.04585 158 110 40 8
753 Tell me I look fat in my icing and see how long this marriage lasts, Harold 1.3544 0.04758 158 112 36 10
754 That’s right, cake is the reward for agreeing to a lifetime of compromise. 1.3544 0.04842 158 113 34 11
755 Don't do it, Jeremy! 1.3529 0.04861 153 109 34 10
756 I guess it is like having only one flavor the rest of your life. 1.3529 0.04771 153 108 36 9
757 Yes, you can be on your cake and eat it too. 1.3529 0.05202 153 113 26 14
758 Wow! A talking figurine! 1.3529 0.04861 153 109 34 10
759 Marie Antoinette let them eat cake and look where it got her. 1.3529 0.04948 153 110 32 11
760 6 feet away from me sir... This is a socially distanced wedding 1.3529 0.04680 153 107 38 8
761 It's a top-tier wedding. 1.3529 0.04948 153 110 32 11
762 Two tiers too many for a Zoom wedding. 1.3529 0.04771 153 108 36 9
763 You're better off without her; find someone your own size. 1.3529 0.04771 153 108 36 9
764 Does This Make Me Look Fat? 1.3529 0.04587 153 106 40 7
765 I thought we were celebrating my birthday. Who's the girl? 1.3529 0.04771 153 108 36 9
766 It's like I've been trying to tell you - this whole thing doesn't really work too well without a bride. 1.3529 0.04634 153 109 35 9
767 Does this cake make me look fat? 1.3529 0.04587 153 106 40 7
768 No mask, no cake and you'll need a six foot sword! 1.3529 0.04861 153 109 34 10
769 Not looking good . They're not even holding hands . 1.3529 0.04861 153 109 34 10
770 You can be honest with me. Do I look fattening? 1.3529 0.04948 153 110 32 11
771 I'll bet this marriage goes stale before I do. 1.3529 0.04587 153 106 40 7
772 They make it look so easy. 1.3529 0.04587 153 106 40 7
773 Even I know having a 300 person wedding during a pandemic was a dumb idea 1.3529 0.04948 153 110 32 11
774 You cut me, I cut you. Capeesh? 1.3529 0.04948 153 110 32 11
775 You're my last hope. If you say, "I do," I'm a goner! 1.3529 0.04771 153 108 36 9
776 You look much better in miniature 1.3529 0.04587 153 106 40 7
777 No, the figurine does not make you look fat. 1.3529 0.04680 153 107 38 8
778 I don’t know why I am here. I barely know these people. 1.3529 0.05034 153 111 30 12
779 Yes, you are definitely my biggest ever. Why do you ask? 1.3529 0.04861 153 109 34 10
780 The first cut is the deepest, and I'm not just talking about me. 1.3529 0.04396 153 104 44 5
781 If you cut me, I swear to God, I'm gonna be all up in your face! 1.3529 0.05119 153 112 28 13
782 This'll never last. 1.3529 0.04861 153 109 34 10
783 ...And for an extra $100, I can predict the exact date of your divorce. 1.3529 0.04948 153 110 32 11
784 Hey, have you seen up her up skirt yet? I have. 1.3529 0.05034 153 111 30 12
785 Hurry! They are waiting for you over in the"life size" room 1.3529 0.04948 153 110 32 11
786 Yes, you've had too much to drink, but think how I feel. I'm overbaked. 1.3529 0.04948 153 110 32 11
787 Well, look who made it to the top of Maslow’s Hierarchy. 1.3529 0.05034 153 111 30 12
788 Frosted feet are not the same as cold feet . 1.3529 0.04948 153 110 32 11
789 That reception left me in tiers. 1.3529 0.05034 153 111 30 12
790 When she left, she said, "Let him eat cake." 1.3529 0.04861 153 109 34 10
791 Get me out of here, and I’ll let the girl go, too. 1.3529 0.04347 153 111 33 9
792 Psst! Did you bring the pre-nup? 1.3529 0.05119 153 112 28 13
793 The baker totally captured your eyes. 1.3529 0.04493 153 105 42 6
794 It was a beautiful wedding — you had me in tiers! 1.3529 0.04861 153 109 34 10
795 If you’re looking for her she’s in the bathroom with the best man 1.3529 0.04948 153 110 32 11
796 A moment on the lips, a lifetime on the hips 1.3529 0.05119 153 112 28 13
797 Not you again.. 1.3529 0.05034 153 111 30 12
798 I bet, I'll last longer than you will 1.3529 0.04771 153 108 36 9
799 I’ve grown quite fondant of you 1.3529 0.04680 153 107 38 8
800 Stop eying me like I’m some piece of cheesecake. 1.3529 0.04861 153 109 34 10
801 Be gentle. It’s my first time 1.3529 0.04680 153 107 38 8
802 I know, no masks huh?! 1.3529 0.04680 153 107 38 8
803 Just a bite or two. That suit is looking a little snug. 1.3529 0.05034 153 111 30 12
804 Is our hair too matchy matchy ? 1.3526 0.04530 156 108 41 7
805 No, you can't give the speech. I'm the best man, you're the cake. 1.3526 0.04796 156 111 35 10
806 Psst. This thing is gluten free and vegan. I'd grab the cherry pie with Ben and Jerry's if I was you. 1.3526 0.04881 156 112 33 11
807 Please be gentle, this is my first time too. 1.3510 0.04810 151 107 35 9
808 Listen, Frank, I'm sorry but she's found someone else. Please just be the bigger man and move on. 1.3510 0.04717 151 106 37 8
809 Does this bride make me look fat? 1.3510 0.04901 151 108 33 10
810 Psst, What gives? My big brother had a girl IN his cake, not on top of it. 1.3510 0.04810 151 107 35 9
811 She saying that you will have to give her more space if this marriage is going to work! 1.3510 0.04764 151 114 24 13
812 Other than the hair, I think they did a pretty good job. 1.3510 0.04427 151 103 43 5
813 ...but what would I know about marriage? I'm just two candy dots and a frosting talking hole. 1.3510 0.04810 151 107 35 9
814 The real surprise is I'm gluten free. 1.3510 0.04717 151 106 37 8
815 You'll always be top tier to me. 1.3510 0.04810 151 107 27 12
816 What are you looking at? 1.3510 0.04810 151 107 35 9
817 Read my icing: no prenup! 1.3510 0.04901 151 108 33 10
818 Her message said, if you like carrot cake so much, why don’t you marry IT! 1.3510 0.04810 151 107 35 9
819 It is a time for tiers, not tears. 1.3506 0.04563 154 106 40 7
820 It looked bigger on Instagram 1.3506 0.04921 154 111 32 11
821 This is your worst nightmare? “THIS is your worst nightmare?! What about me?! 1.3490 0.04849 149 106 34 9
822 Yup. I'm a talking cake. You shouldn't have taken those drugs, Frank. 1.3490 0.04755 149 105 36 8
823 I’m sorry Martin and Susan are self isolating so they sent their representatives. 1.3490 0.03679 149 109 32 7
824 God I want to be inside you 1.3487 0.04962 152 110 31 11
825 The buttons on your shirt look just like eyes! 1.3487 0.04874 152 109 33 10
826 I’ve come to learn that how you feel on the inside isn’t so important after all. 1.3487 0.04784 152 108 35 9
827 Fools! They had one wish and wished to be married on top of a wedding cake. So I shrunk them. 1.3487 0.05219 152 113 25 14
828 Well Bill unfortunately I don’t think her absence is due to travel restrictions 1.3487 0.04598 152 106 39 7
829 Word of advice: if you want the next forty years to go well, go gentle of the shoving-me-in-her-face-thing. 1.3469 0.04984 147 106 31 10
830 Yeah, the ‘everything is cake’ meme was fun, but what I really want to do is direct. 1.3469 0.04695 147 103 37 7
831 Oh, I’m not just gluten free and vegan, I’m also a SmartCake™️ 1.3469 0.04984 147 106 31 10
832 No, no, I'm looking forward to being cut up, eaten and then digested by your friends and loved ones. 1.3469 0.04889 147 105 33 9
833 We might have different jobs but I too can relate to the feeling of being walked on, cut apart and chewed up all the time. 1.3469 0.04695 147 103 37 7
834 Hey, Craig. You wanna piece of me? 1.3467 0.05180 150 111 26 13
835 She loves wedding cakes so much, this is her 8th one Henry! 1.3467 0.05004 150 109 30 11
836 Elope. 1.3467 0.04822 150 107 34 9
837 Everybody gangsta till the cake starts talking. 1.3467 0.04914 150 108 32 10
838 He couldn't quite put his finger on it, but there seemed to be something lying underneath the layers of matrimonial bliss..... 1.3467 0.04535 150 103 40 6
839 I am a wedding cake. Of course, you are hallucinating. 1.3467 0.05004 150 109 30 11
840 She said you weren't really top-tier." 1.3467 0.04914 150 108 32 10
841 Hey you, I KNOW—I know ‘you wanna layer’... 1.3453 0.05375 139 103 24 12
842 This is just temporary... I really want to be a wedding singer. 1.3446 0.04766 148 105 35 8
843 Pssst, save the bottom layer 1.3446 0.05138 148 109 27 12
844 Are you the London Fling, the Paris Affair or the Munich Weekend? I can't keep up. 1.3446 0.04862 148 106 33 9
845 I hear you, guy, but think how silly those two figures would look on top of a giant pizza with everything. 1.3446 0.04766 148 105 35 8
846 Hey! Are you the guy that's standing on me? 1.3446 0.04955 148 107 31 10
847 Only a prenup can guarantee having your cake and eating it too. 1.3446 0.05138 148 109 27 12
848 The icing on the cake? You're marrying a tart. 1.3446 0.05047 148 108 29 11
849 I would never dessert you 1.3446 0.04766 148 105 35 8
850 And they say size doesn't matter 1.3446 0.05047 148 108 29 11
851 For budget reasons we shed some tiers. 1.3431 0.05016 137 98 31 8
852 I'm dessert, what your bride to be did, is desert! 1.3425 0.05091 146 107 28 11
853 Run away with me, Walter. It'll be a cake walk 1.3425 0.04706 146 103 36 7
854 Cake says it doesn't last six months! 1.3425 0.04805 146 104 34 8
855 Shouldn't we get to know each other first? 1.3425 0.04805 146 104 34 8
856 Wait, this is a wedding? 1.3425 0.04805 146 104 34 8
857 Here's my suggestion. In front of everybody, grab a piece with your fingers and mush it into her face. It'll be hilarious! 1.3425 0.04805 146 104 34 8
858 Later, you're going to cut me and shove me in her face. That's marriage. 1.3425 0.05091 146 107 28 11
859 By your expression, I predict a few more cakes in your future. 1.3425 0.04902 146 105 32 9
860 Weddings, am I right? 1.3425 0.05183 146 108 26 12
861 You think my decorations are off-putting? My brother is being served at a gender-reveal party. 1.3425 0.04998 146 106 30 10
862 Does that up there look like six feet to you? 1.3425 0.04805 146 104 34 8
863 You want a piece of me, buddy? 1.3425 0.04805 146 104 34 8
864 The baker didn’t wash his hands. 1.3425 0.05091 146 107 28 11
865 I was ordered from the Equal Rights Bakery. 1.3403 0.04944 144 104 31 9
866 The wedding was totally rigged. Don't even think about eating the cake. Pass it on. 1.3403 0.05136 144 106 27 11
867 Wait til she's just about to take a bite, then smash me in her face. 1.3403 0.04844 144 103 33 8
868 I'm better for you than she'll EVER be. 1.3403 0.04743 144 102 35 7
869 And my pronouns are... 1.3403 0.04844 144 103 33 8
870 I refused to bake a cake for a gay wedding, and now this is my curse. 1.3403 0.05136 144 106 27 11
871 If you too are planning an occasion, call Antoine's Bakery at 800/878-9000". 1.3403 0.05041 144 105 29 10
872 Go ahead. Cut me to pieces. I am, after all, a symbol of your marriage. 1.3403 0.04794 144 105 30 9
873 Wait! I thought this was my bar mitzvah! 1.3403 0.04844 144 103 33 8
874 Please don’t cut before you get to know me. I have so many layers. 1.3403 0.04534 144 100 39 5
875 Hey, big guy, if you try that again, I'll bite your finger off. 1.3403 0.05230 144 107 25 12
876 Yes, they heard you fart during the vows.” 1.3403 0.05183 144 108 22 13
877 Really? You're only just realizing that she looks like your mother? 1.3403 0.04944 144 104 31 9
878 Haven’t I seen you before? 1.3403 0.04944 144 104 31 9
879 Dude, it's 2020 already. You don't have to marry me to eat me. 1.3403 0.05230 144 107 25 12
880 At least today is the end for me. 1.3403 0.04640 144 101 37 6
881 I always tier up at these things. 1.3403 0.04743 144 102 35 7
882 Well, they are on top of my world 1.3403 0.04944 144 104 31 9
883 Relax, it's never forever anymore 1.3403 0.04844 144 103 33 8
884 Caution: Objects appear smaller than they really are! 1.3403 0.05041 144 105 29 10
885 Do you think he'll layer? 1.3403 0.05230 144 107 25 12
886 It's a shame about this whole "left at the altar" situation, but hey, more cake for you am I right buddy? 1.3403 0.05230 144 107 25 12
887 One less tier and they'd be socially distanced. 1.3403 0.05041 144 105 29 10
888 No problem. Just take her off the top and we'll have a bachelor party. 1.3403 0.04743 144 102 35 7
889 Sorry, since Amy Coney Barrett joined SCOTUS, your partner was no longer permitted to be on the cake. 1.3403 0.05136 144 106 27 11
890 Frankly, I think the third tier is unattainable. 1.3403 0.04640 144 101 37 6
891 Love for a woman is temporary and fleeting; love for cake lasts forever. 1.3403 0.04844 144 103 33 8
892 You come over here and taste the frosting one more time and just you watch what happens. 1.3403 0.04844 144 103 33 8
893 I thought we decided not to get the talking cake... 1.3403 0.05136 144 106 27 11
894 Well I’m still here and I’d marry you. 1.3403 0.04425 144 99 41 4
895 So this is how I die. 1.3403 0.04844 144 103 33 8
896 Explain to me, who’s the other guy over there? 1.3403 0.04314 144 98 43 3
897 'I'm sweet and a little tart just like your wife!' 1.3403 0.05322 144 108 23 13
898 And just as the wedding planner predicted, the red velvet with cream cheese icing did indeed speak to Ted. 1.3403 0.04944 144 104 31 9
899 Well I say, let them eat Marie! 1.3381 0.05162 139 102 27 10
900 Now all we need is a bride 1.3381 0.04849 139 99 33 7
901 He's a dead ringer for her old boyfriend. 1.3380 0.05085 142 104 28 10
902 You didn't tell me your brother was so tall. 1.3380 0.05085 142 104 28 10
903 Give me the knife, and I'll tell you where to find your bride. 1.3380 0.04781 142 101 34 7
904 Pssst-- This mixed marriage thing, between a man and a woman-- It never works out! 1.3380 0.04781 142 101 34 7
905 Let them eat bread. 1.3380 0.04457 142 103 32 7
906 Hey! Haven't I seen you somewhere before? 1.3380 0.05085 142 104 28 10
907 I remember her being bigger. 1.3380 0.05182 142 105 26 11
908 Dude, vanilla isn't your biggest issue. 1.3380 0.04781 142 101 34 7
909 Size matters 1.3380 0.04885 142 102 32 8
910 You didn't have to wear a suit to eat wedding cake at home. 1.3380 0.04781 142 101 34 7
911 George froze, suddenly all too aware of how much Penelope's hair resembled his, and how it might have been more than mere coincidence that they each had a cousin named Ruby Nelson in Long Island... 1.3380 0.05464 142 108 20 14
912 As long as you have a prenup-CONGRATULATIONS! 1.3380 0.04885 142 102 32 8
913 I just heard them say eat me. 1.3380 0.05085 142 104 28 10
914 I’m the voice of weddings past. Run, now! 1.3380 0.05085 142 104 28 10
915 Psst! Wann hear a 'What the wedding cake said to the groom' joke? 1.3380 0.04885 142 102 32 8
916 Don’t know about you, but I’m all tiered up. 1.3380 0.04676 142 100 36 6
917 If you ever want to see your shoes again, do exactly as I say. 1.3380 0.04781 142 101 34 7
918 Listen Buddy, She's been nagging him since they were placed on top of me. My advice is to grab your little doppelganger and run like hell" 1.3380 0.04781 142 101 34 7
919 Are the mushrooms kicking in yet? 1.3380 0.05555 142 109 18 15
920 Yep, you need to rethink what constitutes a micro dose. 1.3380 0.05278 142 106 24 12
921 That's not six feet. 1.3380 0.04107 142 100 38 4
922 Fuck off! 1.3379 0.05641 145 113 15 17
923 That should be me up there 1.3358 0.04999 137 99 30 8
924 Don't I know you from the bachelor party? 1.3358 0.05105 137 100 28 9
925 Yesterday at the bakery. The best man figurine. You didn't hear it from me. 1.3357 0.04926 140 101 31 8
926 I know my Mom walked me down the aisle but she CANNOT be on the Cake!! 1.3357 0.05029 140 102 29 9
927 You know, it's a real honor. 1.3357 0.04821 140 100 33 7
928 Have you heard of buyer’s remorse? 1.3357 0.04658 140 101 32 7
929 Who do you get to do your icing? 1.3357 0.04602 140 98 37 5
930 Hello there! Could you please tell me my meaning and purpose? 1.3357 0.04713 140 99 35 6
931 She may have left you at the altar, but she can’t leave you on the cake. No, really, she’s stuck on. 1.3357 0.04856 143 103 32 8
932 "Look out! She's got a knife!" 1.3357 0.04754 143 102 34 7
933 Bill realized there were several layers to this cake. 1.3357 0.04856 143 103 32 8
934 ...and you thought he was just the pool boy? 1.3333 0.04968 138 100 30 8
935 $10 bucks says I last longer than your marriage. 1.3333 0.04861 138 99 32 7
936 Buttercream, what's yours? 1.3333 0.05120 132 96 28 8
937 Sorry, the Bakery only had one 'boy doll' in stock. 1.3333 0.05466 120 88 24 8
938 Hold it, who is she with? 1.3333 0.04861 138 99 32 7
939 You're nervous, and I'm in tiers. 1.3333 0.05177 138 102 26 10
940 Don’t look at me like that, this wasn’t even my idea. 1.3333 0.04751 138 98 34 6
941 And that’s when Earl realized that he was not at his cousins Bar mitzvah. 1.3333 0.05074 138 101 28 9
942 Even I’m embarrassed to be here. 1.3333 0.04861 138 99 32 7
943 I don't know why I get so tiered up when I see this. 1.3309 0.04611 139 98 36 5
944 Then one day you’re the guy selling girl scout cookies at the office." 1.3309 0.04831 139 100 32 7
945 Is it really so strange, Ralph? You're alive and you're made of chocolate and beer. 1.3309 0.04789 136 97 33 6
946 It's not supposed to look exactly like you. 1.3309 0.05119 136 100 27 9
947 Well, I never said marriage would be a piece of cake. 1.3309 0.04902 136 98 31 7
948 This being her third, there's a 10% discount. 1.3309 0.05119 136 100 27 9
949 You look familiar, but I can't place you off the top of my head. 1.3309 0.05224 136 101 25 10
950 Psst, has anyone told you, you look better in person. 1.3309 0.04789 136 97 33 6
951 I see that I'm not the only one getting smashed tonight. 1.3309 0.04789 136 97 33 6
952 I tiered up as usual. 1.3309 0.05011 136 99 29 8
953 I don’t like your hairdo either. 1.3309 0.04556 136 100 29 7
954 Good luck buddy, it's no piece of cake." 1.3309 0.05011 136 99 29 8
955 Please tell the lovebirds on the 3rd floor to keep it down at night. 1.3309 0.05119 136 100 27 9
956 Ok, either I come out, or you do - last chance! 1.3309 0.04674 136 96 35 5
957 Dude. Pandemic weddings are supposed to be SMALL. You only needed to pay for that tiny top layer. 1.3309 0.04902 136 98 31 7
958 I guess it’s true, you are what you eat. 1.3309 0.05011 136 99 29 8
959 They noticed the cake toppers didn’t have masks either 1.3309 0.04902 136 98 31 7
960 You lose the knife and I tell you why your stomach will thank you for skipping the icing. 1.3308 0.05051 130 94 29 7
961 She said to tell you she changed her mind. 1.3285 0.04872 137 99 31 7
962 From now on you must halve your cake before you can eat it, too. 1.3285 0.05087 137 101 27 9
963 Your marriage is weighing heavily on me. 1.3284 0.04339 134 92 40 2
964 You need a lot of dough to get to the top here! 1.3284 0.04711 134 95 34 5
965 Run while you can. I know how this ends. 1.3284 0.05165 134 99 26 9
966 She reminds me of your mother. 1.3284 0.04829 134 96 32 6
967 Psst! Last chance to cut and run! 1.3284 0.04829 134 96 32 6
968 I know I'm just a cake, but I just don't see this working out for you. 1.3284 0.04943 134 97 30 7
969 I'm a traditional wedding cake. She didn't pay for any of me but she gets to keep half. 1.3284 0.05273 134 100 24 10
970 It's not too late! 1.3284 0.05273 134 100 24 10
971 Do I have cake on my face? 1.3284 0.04829 134 96 32 6
972 They were getting a little frisky in the frosting last night, so I moved them farther apart. 1.3284 0.04943 134 97 30 7
973 I'm afraid of heights are you? 1.3284 0.04711 134 95 34 5
974 Do I have something on my head? 1.3284 0.05056 134 98 28 8
975 Even I can't sugar coat this for you. 1.3284 0.04829 134 96 32 6
976 There’s no sugarcoating it. Both our lives are about to change for ever. 1.3284 0.05056 134 98 28 8
977 I saw her go to the parking lot with the punch bowl. 1.3284 0.05482 134 102 20 12
978 She changed her mind but she said you can keep the cake. 1.3284 0.04711 134 95 34 5
979 Compared to the rest of your miserable married life, tonight will be a cakewalk. 1.3284 0.05273 134 100 24 10
980 There's still hope for you. I started from scratch, now look at me. 1.3284 0.04943 134 97 30 7
981 Weird on so many levels. 1.3284 0.04711 134 95 34 5
982 It's an entry level position, but I'm determined to to be promoted to the top. 1.3284 0.05165 134 99 26 9
983 I knew it...she is imaginary afterall. 1.3284 0.05165 134 99 26 9
984 Third time's the charm! 1.3284 0.04711 134 95 34 5
985 She said we could reuse the ones from her first marriage” 1.3284 0.04829 134 96 32 6
986 Hey tough guy! You wanna piece of me? Huh? 1.3284 0.04711 134 95 34 5
987 Are...are you a cake too? 1.3284 0.05165 134 99 26 9
988 They’re not going to last. 1.3284 0.04829 134 96 32 6
989 Sorry guy, your wife's lookin' at me like she wants a piece. 1.3282 0.04900 131 94 31 6
990 If she left me at the alter I know I’d be frosted. 1.3282 0.05018 131 95 29 7
991 I now pronounce you man with a drug problem and wife. 1.3282 0.04590 131 99 24 8
992 Gulliver sure gets around 1.3282 0.04778 131 93 33 5
993 He gets the Bride, Don, but you take the cake! 1.3282 0.05018 131 95 29 7
994 If you are actually hearing me talk, then the drugs are working. 1.3282 0.04900 131 94 31 6
995 Two frigid souls, destined to be consumed by others. 1.3282 0.04900 131 94 31 6
996 Maybe you should have gone for a tart instead! 1.3282 0.05134 131 96 27 8
997 Be gentle with me, ok? 1.3282 0.05247 131 97 25 9
998 Maybe you'd like a nice bowl of mixed berries instead? 1.3282 0.05247 131 97 25 9
999 Three tiers for the bride and groom. 1.3282 0.05018 131 95 29 7
1000 Don’t even try. She’s taken. 1.3282 0.04900 131 94 31 6
1001 Am I underdressed? I feel underdressed. 1.3282 0.05018 131 95 29 7
1002 Maybe that last drink wasn’t such a good idea. 1.3282 0.04654 131 92 35 4
1003 The Chef sneezed on me. 1.3259 0.05133 135 100 26 9
1004 Hey buddy . Get me out of this cake! 1.3259 0.04563 135 95 36 4
1005 When you said your wedding vows would leave me in tiers..." 1.3258 0.05323 132 99 23 10
1006 It won’t last. 1.3258 0.05101 132 97 27 8
1007 My advice: Never go to bed hangry. 1.3258 0.04986 132 96 29 7
1008 He dressed in drag just so they'd bake the damned cake 1.3258 0.04749 132 94 33 5
1009 Three layers down: that's where you'll find the real me--and most of the cake. 1.3258 0.04749 132 94 33 5
1010 Good luck. Marriage is a many-layered thing. 1.3258 0.04625 132 93 35 4
1011 Of course I can talk, a wedding cake says a lot. 1.3258 0.04869 132 95 31 6
1012 As the cake addressed him in an ancient and mysterious tongue, Gary wondered if perhaps he had gorged at the wrong platter of brownies. 1.3258 0.05213 132 98 25 9
1013 Look at it from my point of view. “Let them eat pie” for a change. 1.3258 0.05213 132 98 25 9
1014 Of course I'm the happiest one at this wedding, I'm baked 1.3258 0.04498 132 96 29 6
1015 No, it's not you. Nobody likes the taste of fondant. 1.3258 0.05213 132 98 25 9
1016 I’m vegan, gluten-free, and dry. Welcome to my world party boy! 1.3258 0.04625 132 93 35 4
1017 Psst, if you're looking to buck the system one last time, 'pardoning of the cake' has a nice ring to it. 1.3258 0.05101 132 97 27 8
1018 So she stood you up? Man, I’d be pretty frosted too! Oh, wait... 1.3258 0.04869 132 95 31 6
1019 Originally I was to be a birthday cake but, as you can see, things developed further." 1.3258 0.05213 132 98 25 9
1020 A minute on the lips, a lifetime on the hips. 1.3258 0.04986 132 96 29 7
1021 It's misleading. They always find out it's not a piece of cake. 1.3258 0.04749 132 94 33 5
1022 Two words...breath mints 1.3258 0.05213 132 98 25 9
1023 Thanks, you look delicious too. 1.3258 0.04986 132 96 29 7
1024 Can you save everyone the disappointment and let them know I'm fruit. 1.3258 0.05213 132 98 25 9
1025 I always thought you’d be much shorter in person. 1.3256 0.05063 129 94 28 7
1026 I'm just the sugary version of your bad ideas. 1.3256 0.05181 129 95 26 8
1027 I will stay with you to the next level, baby. 1.3256 0.04818 129 92 32 5
1028 A moment on her lips, a lifetime on her hips. 1.3256 0.05410 129 97 22 10
1029 No bride and no guests mean you have me ALL to yourself! 1.3256 0.04942 129 93 30 6
1030 Your mother in law cursed me. 1.3256 0.04625 129 98 23 8
1031 It's not you. 1.3256 0.05063 129 94 28 7
1032 If you cut me, you and your bride will bleed. 1.3256 0.05063 129 94 28 7
1033 I object! 1.3256 0.04942 129 93 30 6
1034 Eat me with your eyes first. 1.3256 0.04942 129 93 30 6
1035 They think you would better off staying friends. 1.3256 0.04142 129 92 34 3
1036 Just cold feet? Lucky you. 1.3256 0.04818 129 92 32 5
1037 Listen buddy, you're going to need to put on a mask before you get any closer. 1.3256 0.04818 129 92 32 5
1038 Trust me, I don't want them getting married either. 1.3256 0.04942 129 93 30 6
1039 These third marriages have become tiresome. 1.3256 0.05181 129 95 26 8
1040 It’s a trial marriage and I’m a recycled cake 1.3256 0.05063 129 94 28 7
1041 It’s okay, today is a cheat day. 1.3256 0.04214 129 94 29 5
1042 So...you ready for tonight? 1.3256 0.05063 129 94 28 7
1043 Yes, I'm tiered of this! 1.3256 0.05297 129 96 24 9
1044 Think YOU'RE uncomfortable. I'm covered in fondant. 1.3256 0.05181 129 95 26 8
1045 What's it going to be...me or Edith? 1.3256 0.05297 129 96 24 9
1046 I have been in here awhile, when I suppose to jump out ? 1.3256 0.04942 129 93 30 6
1047 I'm telling you; It will all end in tiers. 1.3256 0.04880 129 95 26 7
1048 Sorry, they were out of grooms. 1.3256 0.05181 129 95 26 8
1049 Yeah, one of you is going to have to wear a dress. 1.3256 0.05297 129 96 24 9
1050 You think it gets hot in their bedroom, try my oven. 1.3256 0.05297 129 96 24 9
1051 Diet Journal Day 13: I think I'm starting to see things. 1.3256 0.04942 129 93 30 6
1052 Why am I on the cake? I'm just the caterer. 1.3256 0.05297 129 96 24 9
1053 I'm also a gender-reveal cake! 1.3256 0.05181 129 95 26 8
1054 Look, it's a compromise. She's taking your mane. 1.3256 0.04425 129 94 30 5
1055 You have to marry her before you eat me,David. 1.3256 0.05063 129 94 28 7
1056 On the bright side, she's still letting you wear pants! 1.3256 0.05063 129 94 28 7
1057 Elaine ran off with Ben. Accept it. 1.3256 0.05063 129 94 28 7
1058 How many times do we have to go through this" 1.3256 0.04942 129 93 30 6
1059 Just say "Alexa, cancel this wedding." 1.3256 0.05063 129 94 28 7
1060 She left you because the bride doll looks like your former girl friend. 1.3256 0.05063 129 93 28 7
1061 It’s a wedding cake. The gluten is implied. 1.3256 0.04818 129 92 32 5
1062 Wait where’s their masks- wait where’s MY mask?! 1.3256 0.04942 129 93 30 6
1063 Uh oh, who found my voodoo doll? 1.3256 0.04818 129 92 32 5
1064 ‘One little joke about “being moist” and she leaves?!?’ 1.3256 0.05063 129 94 28 7
1065 No one told me you’d be here 1.3256 0.05297 129 96 24 9
1066 This is as good as it gets, bud. 1.3256 0.05063 129 94 28 7
1067 Holy cow! A talking cake topper! 1.3256 0.04818 129 92 32 5
1068 A little lick doesn’t mean anything 1.3256 0.04818 129 92 32 5
1069 Is this what they mean by a virtual wedding? 1.3256 0.04942 129 93 30 6
1070 I hope this isn't too aggressive for our first date. 1.3248 0.05406 117 86 24 7
1071 I think my icing is so smooth because my decorator is a super spreader. 1.3233 0.04955 133 97 29 7
1072 Why is there a figurine of you on my bar mitzvah cake, Mom? 1.3233 0.05179 133 99 25 9
1073 She just told him she's selling your sports car and moving her mother in. 1.3233 0.04955 133 97 29 7
1074 I'm better for you than she is. 1.3233 0.05068 133 98 27 8
1075 This isn't the last time you'll be on top of me. 1.3233 0.04838 133 96 31 6
1076 I hate to say this; you are not the guy on top. 1.3233 0.04838 133 96 31 6
1077 Weddings are rough. Last week some crazy women in a veil attacked my cousin with a knife. 1.3233 0.05068 133 98 27 8
1078 She said to tell you she's really sorry, but she finally found somebody her own height. 1.3233 0.05395 133 101 21 11
1079 Why are mom and dad on my birthday cake? 1.3233 0.04955 133 97 29 7
1080 It's all relative. In "cake" terms, they are six feet apart. 1.3233 0.05068 133 98 27 8
1081 You think this is weird, wait'll they cut me and I bleed. 1.3233 0.04955 133 97 29 7
1082 You don't have to do this. 1.3233 0.04838 133 96 31 6
1083 So what, if she doesn't show, you'll have me all to yourself! 1.3233 0.04719 133 95 33 5
1084 I have a cousin who’s a doughnut. 1.3233 0.05179 133 99 25 9
1085 Did she leave you at the altar or is it a socially distant wedding? 1.3233 0.05068 133 98 27 8
1086 Congratulations! Also, your cousin may have spiked the punch. 1.3233 0.05179 133 99 25 9
1087 They don't look six feet apart. 1.3233 0.04838 133 96 31 6
1088 You always said you loved cake. Well, I’m here to say, I love you too. 1.3233 0.05068 133 98 27 8
1089 Go ahead, eat me, Tim. You know you want to. Cut a slice out of me, Tim. Eat me. 1.3233 0.05068 133 98 27 8
1090 Don’t kid yourself, Arthur. I’m the reason she wanted this wedding. 1.3231 0.04531 130 91 36 3
1091 Hey pal, sorry to hear she was a no show but no wifey- no cakey! 1.3231 0.05147 130 96 26 8
1092 Your best man speech had me in tiers. 1.3231 0.04910 130 94 30 6
1093 You do know the rest of your evenings will be spent on a couch watching, "The Great British Baking Show" 1.3231 0.05262 130 97 24 9
1094 Not to be an alarmist, but my tiers will all be gone by the end of the night. Your tears will just be starting. 1.3231 0.05030 130 95 28 7
1095 If marriage were a piece of cake, I wouldn't be talking you out of it. 1.3231 0.04398 130 90 38 2
1096 If I see a knife the happy couple is going down. 1.3231 0.04661 130 92 34 4
1097 What were you thinking? 1.3231 0.05030 130 95 28 7
1098 So. I am the cake. You really can't eat me and have me too. 1.3231 0.05374 130 98 22 10
1099 "You know that marriage isn't a piece of cake right?." Bea Fernandez-Medina, State College, PA 1.3231 0.05262 130 97 24 9
1100 If you wanted svelte figurines, you should have ordered gluten-free. 1.3231 0.04787 130 93 32 5
1101 I'm your last taste of freedom from a gluten-free diet. 1.3231 0.04910 130 94 30 6
1102 You can’t stand on the cake and eat it too. 1.3231 0.05030 130 95 28 7
1103 So, you're really going through with this, huh? 1.3231 0.05147 130 96 26 8
1104 If she marries you, I’ll go to pieces. 1.3231 0.04661 130 91 34 4
1105 Hey, you didn't hear it from me, but she's made off with the caterer. 1.3231 0.04910 130 94 30 6
1106 You’re not the only one with cold feet 1.3231 0.04260 130 89 40 1
1107 Something eating at you? Join the party. 1.3231 0.05262 130 97 24 9
1108 This is a dream. Nobody wants to marry you. 1.3231 0.05262 130 97 24 9
1109 I can only carry this relationship until the end of the reception. 1.3231 0.04787 130 93 32 5
1110 Fool! That coulda been you on top. 1.3231 0.04910 130 94 30 6
1111 I love you but my doctor says you're not good for me. 1.3231 0.05147 130 96 26 8
1112 Despite how it looks, believe me it’s no piece of cake 1.3231 0.05147 130 96 26 8
1113 Trust me, you gotta use your batter judgement from here on out. 1.3231 0.04910 130 94 30 6
1114 Do you know marriage is the leading cause of divorce 1.3231 0.05147 130 96 26 8
1115 They only just met at the bakery yesterday. It’ll never last. 1.3231 0.04787 130 93 32 5
1116 I look sweeter than I taste. 1.3231 0.04661 130 92 34 4
1117 Don’t be a coward! Get back up there 1.3231 0.05262 130 97 24 9
1118 I don't think "shut your pie hole" really applies here 1.3231 0.04910 130 94 30 6
1119 What are you looking at pal? You want a piece of me? 1.3231 0.05262 130 97 24 9
1120 Sorry, but it's a "We can still be friends" cake. 1.3231 0.04910 130 94 30 6
1121 This feels half-baked to me. 1.3231 0.04910 130 94 30 6
1122 They are feeling somewhat layered and frosty, James, but they're ready for the cut. 1.3231 0.05030 130 95 28 7
1123 Don’t be fooled by what you see. Marriage is no cakewalk. 1.3231 0.04910 130 94 30 6
1124 Your bride has asked me to tell you something that will leave us both in tiers. 1.3231 0.04910 130 94 30 6
1125 It’s me, Cake Cam. We need to talk about your fiancée and your best man! 1.3231 0.05030 130 95 28 7
1126 It’s not you, it’s 2020. 1.3231 0.05147 130 96 26 8
1127 Sorry, you can't have it - 1.3231 0.04531 130 91 36 3
1128 If you think you're gonna have this cake and eat it too you got a lot to learn about marriage! 1.3231 0.05030 130 95 28 7
1129 There’s still time to escape. 1.3231 0.04910 130 94 30 6
1130 They told me this job would be a piece of cake. 1.3231 0.05030 130 95 28 7
1131 I just fall to pieces, every time. 1.3228 0.05230 127 94 25 8
1132 She's having her cake and eating it too 1.3228 0.04985 127 92 29 6
1133 Marriage is still big, it's the people that got small. 1.3228 0.04728 127 90 33 4
1134 They said 'I do' and I said 'I dough.' 1.3212 0.04626 137 98 34 5
1135 Congratulations! Let me tell you about Miss Havisham. 1.3209 0.05146 134 100 25 9
1136 Please, be gentle 1.3209 0.04808 134 97 31 6
1137 But, are you sure? 1.3209 0.04808 134 97 31 6
1138 He doesn’t do you justice. 1.3206 0.05114 131 97 26 8
1139 It’s called a lemon cake for a reason. 1.3206 0.05114 131 97 26 8
1140 If you're interested, I also do gender reveals, bar mitzvahs, quinceaneras, vow renewals, divorces, and funerals! 1.3206 0.05114 131 97 26 8
1141 I don't care if you are the groom, dough boy, don't even think of coming near me with a cake knife. 1.3206 0.05227 131 98 24 9
1142 See if the bridesmaids want a piece of this. 1.3206 0.04998 131 96 28 7
1143 Never fails, the real version of the cake topper dude disappoints 1.3206 0.04998 131 96 28 7
1144 Yeah, default heteronormativity frosts me, too. 1.3206 0.04879 131 95 30 6
1145 It’s too late now. 1.3206 0.05114 131 97 26 8
1146 What's eating you? 1.3206 0.04879 131 95 30 6
1147 Not to rush you, but the happy little couple has another topping at 2.” 1.3206 0.04757 131 94 32 5
1148 Hey, Buddy. The smart money's on me lasting longer in the freezer than on this couple. 1.3206 0.04757 131 94 32 5
1149 Yeah, boohoo. Today I literally die. 1.3206 0.04879 131 95 30 6
1150 Wanna hear what I heard your bride say to your best man? 1.3206 0.04632 131 93 34 4
1151 I have no idea who she is...the agency sent her over. 1.3206 0.04632 131 93 34 4
1152 Psst, we're trapped inside. Please don't cut the cake. 1.3206 0.04998 131 96 28 7
1153 At least give me one last moment of dignity... 1.3206 0.04757 131 94 32 5
1154 You have nice eyes. 1.3206 0.05227 131 98 24 9
1155 The bride said she’ll do the wedding from home. 1.3206 0.04757 131 94 32 5
1156 I’m I’m ready to get married. Could be worse though. I could be a New Yorker Caption Contest worker who has to sort through 10,000 submissions about me f***ing this cake. What else are writers supposed to think with me eyeing this cake mouth? 1.3203 0.05649 128 99 17 12
1157 I know....its the epitome of "sugar coating" 1.3203 0.04697 128 91 33 4
1158 I wouldn't. 1.3203 0.05075 128 94 27 7
1159 Like your marriage, I'll never taste as good as today. 1.3203 0.04826 128 92 31 5
1160 Look pal. I'm just a talking cake. I can't help it if the groom looks like your friend James. 1.3203 0.05075 128 94 27 7
1161 I feel stuck already 1.3203 0.05075 128 94 27 7
1162 This wedding has brought me to tiers. 1.3203 0.04952 128 93 29 6
1163 Don't even think twice about it. 1.3203 0.05075 128 94 27 7
1164 Psst, do you want any tips? I'm the first husband. 1.3203 0.04697 128 91 33 4
1165 I told the Genie I wanted every girl to want me." 1.3203 0.04952 128 93 29 6
1166 Are you going to stand there like a cake topper or are you going to do something about it? 1.3203 0.04697 128 91 33 4
1167 If this cake could talk...... 1.3203 0.04952 128 93 29 6
1168 It's the last hetero wedding cake in New York. 1.3203 0.05195 128 95 25 8
1169 He doesn't know she used to be on a cake with his brother. 1.3203 0.05075 128 94 27 7
1170 You’ll never be the man Topper is.... 1.3203 0.04952 128 93 29 6
1171 Well, one of us has to be dreaming. 1.3203 0.05195 128 95 25 8
1172 I take it you're the one who asked for the news sugar-coated? 1.3203 0.04952 128 93 29 6
1173 You look much thinner in one-twelve scale 1.3203 0.04697 128 91 33 4
1174 We also do funerals! 1.3203 0.05195 128 95 25 8
1175 Well, when you do that many mushrooms, you trade one anxiety for another. 1.3203 0.04826 128 92 31 5
1176 Sure, you get sick of buttercream, but the money's good. 1.3203 0.04826 128 92 31 5
1177 Already thinking of cheating... on your diet? 1.3203 0.04826 128 92 31 5
1178 If you think you're really getting married, consider who's talking. 1.3203 0.05312 128 96 23 9
1179 I told you to eat something before the wedding, Ralph. 1.3203 0.05195 128 95 25 8
1180 Bernard paused to reflect on the currant crisis 1.3203 0.05075 128 94 27 7
1181 What did you think your 2020 wedding cake would look like? 1.3203 0.04952 128 93 29 6
1182 Look on the bright side - now you can have me all for yourself! 1.3203 0.04826 128 92 31 5
1183 If you only knew the layers to this 1.3203 0.05075 128 94 27 7
1184 I thought jumping out now would be funnier. 1.3200 0.05279 125 93 24 8
1185 This bride and groom on the cake was ordered before the social distancing requirement. 1.3200 0.05156 125 92 26 7
1186 We'll have to unstack the layers and put the groom on one and the bride on another to achieve social distancing. 1.3200 0.05156 125 92 26 7
1187 Is that... ME? 1.3200 0.05029 125 91 28 6
1188 Better get some social distance up there before the Governor finds out 1.3200 0.05156 125 92 26 7
1189 Sorry, we're filled up, but you might see the pie on the next table. 1.3200 0.05029 125 91 28 6
1190 You think I'm scared of you...I'm gonna smash your face! 1.3200 0.04899 125 90 30 5
1191 This is no longer an audition Norm. You’ve already booked the job. 1.3200 0.05156 125 92 26 7
1192 Comrade, down here! One push and you can help overturn the patriarchy! 1.3200 0.05156 125 92 26 7
1193 mask please 1.3200 0.05029 125 91 28 6
1194 Yes, I'm a talking cake; now get over it and read my lips: Happy wife, happy life. Next, repeat after me: Yes, dear/Yes, dear/ Yes, dear.... 1.3200 0.05400 125 94 22 9
1195 You aren't really expecting me to shed a "tier" ? 1.3200 0.05279 125 93 24 8
1196 Which way is The Great British Baking Show ? 1.3200 0.05029 125 91 28 6
1197 So I says to the pie, “You’ll never be a wedding dessert!” 1.3182 0.05081 132 98 26 8
1198 I’ll need to talk to the top about that, I’ll get back to you. 1.3182 0.04848 132 96 30 6
1199 Psst... hey, wanna know a secret? Don't eat the third layer of this cake. 1.3178 0.04795 129 93 31 5
1200 Apparently, it's easier for some bakeries to make a talking cake than a cake for a transgendered individuals. 1.3178 0.04920 129 94 28 6
1201 Sorry bud—no refunds. I hope you're hungry. 1.3178 0.05042 129 95 27 7
1202 It was either this or work as an elf at Macy's Macy's again. 1.3178 0.05276 129 97 23 9
1203 They talk? 1.3178 0.05276 129 97 23 9
1204 I am your SmartCake; I have one message for you from your former fiance... 1.3178 0.05042 129 95 27 7
1205 Don't Cut Me out! 1.3178 0.04920 129 94 29 6
1206 I’m gluten free and fondant covered. I hope your marriage is more substantial. 1.3178 0.05276 129 97 23 9
1207 Pssst! They're fighting! Get them off me before they fall through! 1.3178 0.05160 129 96 25 8
1208 We’re gonna need a bigger cake. 1.3178 0.05501 129 99 19 11
1209 Relax,it's just a suggestion. 1.3178 0.04920 129 94 29 6
1210 Have you seen my mom? Looks like me but bigger, with a stripper hiding inside? 1.3178 0.05101 129 97 22 9
1211 Alexa, Is that you? 1.3178 0.05390 129 98 21 10
1212 Actually, they're both trans. 1.3178 0.04795 129 93 31 5
1213 Hey, you look just like my hat. 1.3178 0.05610 129 100 17 12
1214 I'm a cake, I can't give marital advice! 1.3178 0.04667 129 92 33 4
1215 So you’re the guy on top! Where’s that lady you’re supposed to be with? You never think you’re going to meet celebrities in person and then you do. 1.3178 0.04260 129 99 23 7
1216 Don’t even think about climbing up there. 1.3178 0.05160 129 96 25 8
1217 I feel you, Mr. Gluten 1.3178 0.04920 129 94 29 6
1218 Hey mister, can you get these idiots off me? I'm late for a funeral. 1.3178 0.04536 129 91 35 3
1219 I can top that. 1.3178 0.05042 129 95 27 7
1220 I know she cheated on you, but do you really want to waste a three thousand dollar cake? 1.3178 0.04920 129 94 29 6
1221 Didja layer yet? Ha, that's wedding-cake humor! It's why we're known as the 'fun' bakery. 1.3175 0.04995 126 92 28 6
1222 Always a groomsman, never a groom. 1.3175 0.04598 126 89 34 3
1223 I swear, you look just like someone I know. 1.3175 0.04598 126 89 34 3
1224 How many times do I have to tell you? My name isn't Alexa. 1.3175 0.05243 126 94 24 8
1225 Yes, it's a short life, but I live on in the waistlines of others. 1.3175 0.04598 126 89 34 3
1226 Mine is tiny, too. 1.3175 0.05121 126 93 26 7
1227 I asked her not to wear high heels” 1.3175 0.05121 126 93 26 7
1228 I am the cake of wedding future, here with a cautionary tale to tell. 1.3175 0.05121 126 93 26 7
1229 Hey, I'm virtual, too. 1.3175 0.05243 126 94 24 8
1230 This time, don't shove cake in your new wife's face. 1.3175 0.05243 126 94 24 8
1231 No Masks! No stripper! 1.3175 0.04867 126 91 30 5
1232 Psst! Is this the Johnson bachelor party? 1.3175 0.05363 126 95 22 9
1233 Pssst...I’m loaded with raisins. 1.3175 0.04995 126 92 28 6
1234 Doesn't look like you a bit. 1.3175 0.04867 126 91 30 5
1235 Do you draw faces on your Mom's cakes with that finger? 1.3175 0.05121 126 93 26 7
1236 Looks like your little brother got there first again. 1.3175 0.04867 126 91 30 5
1237 Hey - They took off their masks! 1.3175 0.04313 126 87 38 1
1238 Uh-oh! They're not 6 feet apart! 1.3175 0.05243 126 94 24 8
1239 I know it doesn't look like either of you, but the Supreme Court said my Baker doesn't have to put two men on my top. 1.3175 0.05243 126 94 24 8
1240 No way! I will NOT tell you where the knife is! 1.3175 0.04995 126 92 28 6
1241 Thanks for finding me a role in the wedding. 1.3175 0.04734 126 90 32 4
1242 You really do end up looking like each other. 1.3175 0.04867 126 91 30 5
1243 Take a picture, it'll last longer. 1.3175 0.05480 126 96 20 10
1244 I know,pal. It's wrong on so many levels. 1.3175 0.04734 126 90 32 4
1245 Are you ready for Zoom?, Groom? 1.3175 0.05121 126 93 26 7
1246 I can't take the pressure. 1.3175 0.04867 126 91 30 5
1247 '"I shoulda said 'I don't.'" 1.3175 0.05363 126 95 22 9
1248 ID, please. You are not the man on this cake. 1.3175 0.05121 126 93 26 7
1249 Hey, Handsome, I got two large says you can get me outa here in one piece. 1.3175 0.05480 126 96 20 10
1250 Apparently, she could only say 'yes' to the cake. 1.3175 0.04995 126 92 28 6
1251 What if our world is just one cake topper on top of an even bigger cake on top off... 1.3175 0.04734 126 90 32 4
1252 The icing on the cake is that you'll have me all to yourself." 1.3175 0.05058 126 95 23 8
1253 Look on the bright side, at least it doesn’t look like the mailman 1.3175 0.05363 126 95 22 9
1254 Don’t look behind you Edna... he’s right there, and he’s HUGE! 1.3175 0.04734 126 90 32 4
1255 She may be sweet, but I can be your ACTUAL honey pie 1.3175 0.05243 126 94 24 8
1256 It’s over. I told her about us. No one ignores Patty Cake. 1.3175 0.04867 126 91 30 5
1257 You forgot the masks. 1.3171 0.05074 123 90 27 6
1258 Run if you can! I've seen what she's done to the other guys up there. 1.3162 0.05242 117 86 25 6
1259 You may now...eat your feelings. 1.3158 0.05333 114 84 24 6
1260 Psst! I can't see what's on top of me. Is it bad? Are they...straight? 1.3150 0.04704 127 91 32 4
1261 It's a simple question! Did you get a prenup? 1.3150 0.04835 127 92 30 5
1262 Unbelievable. NYC bakeries have been ordered to socially distance figurines. 1.3150 0.05087 127 94 26 7
1263 My name is Antoinette, Marie Antoinette. 1.3150 0.05208 127 95 24 8
1264 Her hair looks way better than yours. 1.3150 0.05087 127 94 26 7
1265 But I said “Groom and groom.” 1.3150 0.05087 127 94 26 7
1266 Its like toy story but for wedding cakes 1.3150 0.04569 127 90 34 3
1267 No word from the governor, any last words? 1.3145 0.05168 124 92 25 7
1268 A slightly almond flavor actually. Miss Borgia made me herself. 1.3145 0.05039 124 91 27 6
1269 Hey, they switched our hair styles. 1.3145 0.05293 124 93 23 8
1270 Could you tell me how much longer I have before they cut me? 1.3145 0.04908 124 90 29 5
1271 Don't do it!!! 1.3145 0.04489 124 87 35 2
1272 What? "You're okay with a talking peanut but not a talking wedding cake? 1.3145 0.05039 124 91 27 6
1273 She didn’t show? So just remove the bride figurine and cut larger slices. 1.3145 0.05416 124 94 21 9
1274 Dude, trust me on this... just keep walking 1.3145 0.04908 124 90 29 5
1275 I’ve got two people on my head and I still have the better hairdo. 1.3145 0.05039 124 91 27 6
1276 You don't have to kill me to get married. 1.3145 0.05104 124 94 22 8
1277 Hey, love the red velvet. 1.3145 0.05039 124 91 27 6
1278 The R.S.V.P clearly stated it would be a small wedding. 1.3145 0.04772 124 89 31 4
1279 Larry suddenly remembered that he was the groom. . . 1.3145 0.05293 124 93 23 8
1280 I refuse to pose atop a gluten free cake. 1.3145 0.05416 124 94 21 9
1281 Both of us, eaten alive. 1.3145 0.04908 124 90 29 5
1282 Next thing you’ll be telling me you want to eat me as well?! 1.3145 0.04908 124 90 29 5
1283 Just put a piece in the freezer, and then revive me when they perfect cloning. 1.3145 0.04772 124 89 31 4
1284 I hope you’ll plant her face in me. 1.3145 0.04772 124 89 31 4
1285 Well...You have me, are you going to eat me too? 1.3145 0.05039 124 91 27 6
1286 Psst, I think your fiancée is seeing another man. 1.3145 0.05039 124 91 27 6
1287 They said eat it too 1.3145 0.05168 124 92 25 7
1288 Sorry, there is a pandemic, this is the best we could do for a bar mitzvah. 1.3145 0.04772 124 89 31 4
1289 ...and if I see you finger-licking the icing, I'll reduce you to tiny size and put you on top, too. 1.3145 0.04772 124 89 31 4
1290 Run awaaaaay... 1.3145 0.05293 124 93 23 8
1291 Wanna have a piece of me? 1.3145 0.04489 124 87 35 2
1292 Hey, hide the cake knife, would ya? 1.3145 0.04633 124 88 33 3
1293 Sorry, all the LGBTQ figures were taken. 1.3145 0.04187 124 90 31 3
1294 Always a groomsman....... 1.3145 0.05039 124 91 27 6
1295 Your prenup is under the top tier. See you in the freezer. 1.3145 0.05039 124 91 27 6
1296 Sorry your bride didn't show up, but you still have to pay for my services. 1.3145 0.04908 124 90 29 5
1297 Please don’t eat me; I’m a method actor. 1.3145 0.05168 124 92 25 7
1298 Should I tell you something you will discover tonight? 1.3145 0.05168 124 92 25 7
1299 You may not want to do this- I'm a divorce attorney's favorite food. 1.3145 0.04908 124 90 29 5
1300 It's a living. 1.3145 0.04772 124 89 31 4
1301 She said she's sorry, but you're not sweet enough. 1.3145 0.04772 124 89 31 4
1302 I thought I ordered two grooms..... 1.3145 0.04772 124 89 31 4
1303 You're absolutely sure you knew nothing about this? 1.3145 0.05293 124 93 23 8
1304 I am everywhere. If you don’t make my daughter happy I will personally cut your balls off. 1.3145 0.05293 124 93 23 8
1305 OI! Gulliver, it's me the chef. I fell in the cake-mix. 1.3145 0.04772 124 89 31 4
1306 Don't know, they just sort of grew out of the icing." 1.3145 0.04633 124 88 33 3
1307 Sorry, is this your first wife? 1.3145 0.04772 124 89 31 4
1308 His cold feet come from being stuck in icing. How about yours? 1.3145 0.05039 124 91 27 6
1309 Just think; they go on as souvenirs, and I get eaten. 1.3145 0.04908 124 90 29 5
1310 Promise me, this is the last time. 1.3145 0.05293 124 93 23 8
1311 Hey, at least she left you with the cake to yourself. 1.3145 0.05039 124 91 27 6
1312 Remember, a food fight would be YouTube gold. 1.3145 0.05168 124 92 25 7
1313 If you upgrade, the reception will be ad-free. 1.3145 0.04908 124 90 29 5
1314 Six feet apart, buddy. 1.3145 0.04772 124 89 31 4
1315 Let’s hope this one sticks. 1.3145 0.05293 124 93 23 8
1316 Come to think of it, maybe you're the cake. 1.3145 0.05039 124 91 27 6
1317 Oh no, I'm having that same nightmare again. 1.3145 0.04908 124 90 29 5
1318 Is either freedom or diabetes. thats is the real question. 1.3145 0.03108 124 93 27 3
1319 It’s all your imagination, John. You’ve been in isolation for too long. 1.3145 0.05039 124 91 27 6
1320 The cake wants what it wants. 1.3140 0.05120 121 89 26 6
1321 Can I pop out now? 1.3140 0.05253 121 90 24 7
1322 You only have four fingers....which one is the ring supposed to go on? 1.3140 0.05120 121 89 26 6
1323 "Sorry, you're too late! 1.3140 0.05253 121 90 24 7
1324 So you’re good with sugar-free, gluten-free, no artificial ingredients ~ for the next 50 years? 1.3140 0.05253 121 90 24 7
1325 Help me! 1.3120 0.05133 125 93 25 7
1326 Turn left, down the hall, back door is unlocked... 1.3120 0.05133 125 93 25 7
1327 I prefer 'Confectionery American.' 1.3120 0.05133 125 93 25 7
1328 According to my figures I have two hours left to live. 1.3120 0.04740 125 90 31 4
1329 Don't believe it. You won't always end up on top. 1.3120 0.05005 125 92 27 6
1330 The risk of holding a gay wedding in a Red State. 1.3120 0.05257 125 94 23 8
1331 Think carefully; chances are you'll regret it in a few years. 1.3120 0.05005 125 92 27 6
1332 I'm telling you now, harbor no delusions about that top tier; it's 100% Styrofoam. 1.3120 0.05005 125 92 27 6
1333 I know we decided on a Zoom wedding, but I expected her to at least show up.” 1.3120 0.05257 125 94 23 8
1334 I thought you'd be a little thinner based on your cake topper. 1.3115 0.05085 122 90 26 6
1335 Ah, the best man--you made it! Quick, they're on Layer 3! 1.3115 0.05085 122 90 26 6
1336 That could be you up there. 1.3115 0.04811 122 88 30 4
1337 Just because you got married doesn't mean you have to cut me out of your life. 1.3115 0.04950 122 89 28 5
1338 It's nice to finally meet you. 1.3115 0.04811 122 88 30 4
1339 I liked it better when I thought the statues were based on fictional characters 1.3115 0.04950 122 89 28 5
1340 Pssst...hey man can ya help me out? I'm supposed to be a showcase cake.. 1.3115 0.04950 122 89 28 5
1341 This is just the start of being whipped. 1.3115 0.05470 122 93 20 9
1342 Well, for her, they're hoping the third time is the charm... 1.3115 0.04950 122 89 28 5
1343 Listen buddy, it won't be a piece of cake from here on out. 1.3115 0.05085 122 90 26 6
1344 ...this prenuptial agreement expires 5 years from today 1.3115 0.05216 122 91 24 7
1345 Yep, it all starts out so sweet. 1.3115 0.04811 122 88 30 4
1346 "At least they're speaking to one another. 1.3115 0.04811 122 88 30 4
1347 Objects really ARE larger than they appear, huh? 1.3115 0.04811 122 88 30 4
1348 Not if I cut you first. 1.3115 0.05085 122 90 26 6
1349 This whole wedding thing is a piece of cake 1.3115 0.05085 122 90 26 6
1350 Don’t worry, the cake adds ten pounds 1.3115 0.05216 122 91 24 7
1351 Her mother's already moved into the second tier. 1.3109 0.04736 119 85 31 3
1352 When do you think reality will hit you? 1.3109 0.05436 119 90 21 8
1353 I'm the high risk tier. 1.3109 0.05436 119 90 21 8
1354 Dude, did you forget to delete that Last text from Kaylee? 1.3095 0.04842 126 92 29 5
1355 I hope you liked the hors d'oeuvres. Welcome to Oregon. 1.3089 0.05180 123 92 24 7
1356 It's still a great bachelor party, isn't it? 1.3083 0.04992 120 88 27 5
1357 No, I’m sure it’s fine. Don’t wait for help, just move me on your own. 1.3083 0.04992 120 88 27 5
1358 Hey big guy, that's how small you will be in five years. 1.3083 0.05397 120 91 21 8
1359 Not in the face! 1.3083 0.04850 120 87 29 4
1360 Please, no tiers. 1.3083 0.05397 120 91 21 8
1361 Pro tip bud, don't smash me in her face. Literally everyone hates that. 1.3083 0.04992 120 88 27 5
1362 They got the hair all wrong! 1.3083 0.05265 120 90 23 7
1363 Just don't get too full to have sex later. 1.3083 0.04704 120 86 31 3
1364 That's gonna be you on my top tier in about 20 years. 1.3083 0.04992 120 88 27 5
1365 This won’t be exactly a cakewalk. 1.3083 0.05131 120 89 25 6
1366 Hey you, save me a piece, okay? 1.3083 0.05650 120 93 17 10
1367 It was either this topper or the one with them wearing masks. 1.3083 0.04704 120 86 31 3
1368 She has your hairdo. 1.3083 0.05265 120 90 23 7
1369 This is a talking cake. Cut around this part. 1.3083 0.05131 120 89 25 6
1370 I think the groom decoration does look like you, but with a better haircut. 1.3083 0.04315 120 86 32 2
1371 You can have me and eat me, too. 1.3083 0.04992 120 88 27 5
1372 Go find someone your own size. 1.3083 0.04992 120 88 27 5
1373 Pull out before it’s too late! You won’t believe what’s under that dress. 1.3083 0.04992 120 88 27 5
1374 Ive been trapped in here since your bachelor party. 1.3083 0.04704 120 86 31 3
1375 Uh oh! I thought this was a cake for the stag party. 1.3083 0.04992 120 88 27 5
1376 Fight or flight are not options. 1.3083 0.05131 120 89 25 6
1377 Please be gentle with me. 1.3083 0.05265 120 90 23 7
1378 I told you that marriage would make you feel small. 1.3083 0.05265 120 90 23 7
1379 Gluten allergies, low carb -- these days nobody wants to have their cake and eat it, too. 1.3083 0.04850 120 87 29 4
1380 A few words of advice: Keep the smile, and the next 50 years will be a cake walk. 1.3083 0.05397 120 91 21 8
1381 A word of warning: lots of frosting, not so much cake. 1.3083 0.05131 120 89 25 6
1382 Sure she left. You've been increasingly remote. 1.3083 0.05525 120 92 19 9
1383 They didn’t tell the cake decorator that I’m black? 1.3083 0.04850 120 87 29 4
1384 'Why is my neighbor Bob on the cake?' 1.3083 0.05397 120 91 21 8
1385 Don't look at me man. You got yourself into this one all on your own. 1.3083 0.04850 120 87 29 4
1386 Personally I prefer the witch topper over the bride, but I’m not married to it. 1.3083 0.05265 120 90 23 7
1387 I also moonlight as a birthday cake. 1.3077 0.04925 117 85 28 4
1388 Word to the wise- when she offers you the first bite, she's going to stuff it up your nose. 1.3077 0.04925 117 85 28 4
1389 Can you get me a glass of champagne and a straw? 1.3077 0.04925 117 85 28 4
1390 Your alter ego has made up his mind, now go out there son and say "I do!" 1.3077 0.05216 117 87 24 6
1391 First they will come for the top tier, but eventually they will come for you. 1.3077 0.05216 117 87 24 6
1392 This always happens. We fall in love and then someone gets hurt with a thousand tiny cuts. 1.3077 0.05073 117 86 26 5
1393 Haven’t I attended one of yours before? 1.3077 0.04925 117 85 28 4
1394 Roger,I realize this isn’t a good time, but I’ve met someone else 1.3077 0.04999 117 88 23 6
1395 You kept saying 'let them eat cake!' That's why. 1.3077 0.05073 117 86 26 5
1396 This is ridiculous. They are now putting domestic partners on top of my cake. 1.3077 0.05216 117 87 24 6
1397 Your feet are in my brain right now. 1.3077 0.04773 117 84 30 3
1398 Come on buddy, do us both a favor and skip dessert tonight. 1.3058 0.04817 121 88 29 4
1399 Huh, you're taller than I expected. 1.3058 0.05095 121 90 25 6
1400 I warned you! 1.3058 0.04958 121 89 27 5
1401 Wow! That zoom wedding was great, but who is going to help us eat this cake? 1.3058 0.05228 121 91 23 7
1402 I hear 'penis funeral' the most. 1.3051 0.05036 118 87 26 5
1403 Dude I’m telling you, great aunt Susie is actually very nice. 1.3051 0.04584 118 84 32 2
1404 She’s not coming, Mark. 1.3051 0.05178 118 88 24 6
1405 I know. I thought she was going to be you, too. 1.3051 0.05582 118 91 18 9
1406 One side makes you taller, the other, you’re taking out the garbage. 1.3051 0.04964 118 89 23 6
1407 You tear up. I tier down. 1.3051 0.05316 118 89 22 7
1408 Sigh... I wish I could fit into a dress like that! 1.3051 0.05316 118 89 22 7
1409 He looks nothing like me, though she looks good. 1.3051 0.05036 118 87 26 5
1410 She’s run off with the baker. 1.3051 0.04584 118 84 32 2
1411 Are they supposed to social distance even on a cake? 1.3051 0.05036 118 87 26 5
1412 Don't worry your wife got one too today 1.3051 0.04584 118 84 32 2
1413 Psst, Buddy, your fly is down. 1.3051 0.04890 118 86 28 4
1414 Thumbelina how could you? And with my little brother! 1.3051 0.04740 118 85 30 3
1415 You should be wearing a face mask if you're going to be breathing on the wedding cake. 1.3043 0.05548 115 88 19 8
1416 I guess this isn't the pyramid scheme you were planning on? 1.3043 0.05265 115 86 23 6
1417 You look worried, what's eating you? 1.3043 0.05265 115 86 23 6
1418 My wish came true! You came to life. 1.3043 0.05548 115 88 19 8
1419 Just so you know, all this may not be as fulfilling as you're hoping for. 1.3043 0.05265 115 86 23 6
1420 Thank Covid you have me all to yourself! 1.3043 0.05265 115 86 23 6
1421 Congratulations, dumbass. 1.3036 0.05505 112 85 20 7
1422 You still have Mom 1.3028 0.05453 109 82 21 6
1423 Hmm where are their masks? 1.3025 0.05277 119 90 22 7
1424 Quick! There's still time to get away! She's already planning your untimely demise! 1.3025 0.05000 119 88 26 5
1425 Remember, only eight people can attend our wedding. 1.3017 0.05226 116 87 23 6
1426 She'll bury you like she did me. Go! Get out! 1.3017 0.04931 116 85 27 4
1427 Have your cake but to eat it will cost you another $700. 1.3017 0.05226 116 87 23 6
1428 The cake says to the groom...Don't do it, don't it. Get out while you can. 1.3017 0.05081 116 86 25 5
1429 I give you four, maybe five months. 1.3017 0.05081 116 86 25 5
1430 I keep hearing these saccharine voices arguing. Am I going crazy? 1.3017 0.05226 116 87 23 6
1431 Don't get used to it - marriage is no cakewalk! 1.3017 0.04777 116 84 29 3
1432 Hopefully,eating this cake will be tonight's only regret. 1.3017 0.05226 116 87 23 6
1433 Gulliver stopped feeling self conscious when he realized the cake could talk 1.3017 0.04777 116 84 29 3
1434 Congratulations man, I cost more than your first car, and you don't even like chocolate buttercream. 1.3017 0.04931 116 85 27 4
1435 It’s ‘something old, something new, something borrowed, and something anthropomorphic,’ right? 1.3017 0.04777 116 84 29 3
1436 Psst. Be careful. It's not vegan or gluten free. 1.3009 0.05463 113 86 20 7
1437 History suggests we both get chewed up tonight but only you get spit out 1.3009 0.05316 113 85 22 6
1438 Funny how you bought me just yesterday, but now you'd have to go through a messy legal proceeding to have me!" 1.3009 0.05881 113 89 14 10
1439 I taste bitter, Sir 1.3009 0.05316 113 85 22 6
1440 I hear your wife jumped out of some real masterpieces. 1.2991 0.05188 117 88 23 6
1441 Your vegan wedding cake is sentient. Now what? 1.2991 0.05328 117 89 21 7
1442 It's me or her. 1.2982 0.05563 114 88 18 8
1443 Let me warn you. Marriage is not a cake walk! 1.2982 0.04973 114 84 26 4
1444 You're kidding, right? 1.2982 0.04973 114 84 26 4
1445 Size matters more than your point of view. 1.2982 0.05127 114 85 24 5
1446 I’m seeing parts of her you haven’t even seen. 1.2973 0.05368 111 84 21 6
1447 By the time they get to the bottom layer, they're already in counseling. 1.2973 0.05054 111 82 25 4
1448 Your socially distanced wedding is complete; you may now kiss the cake. 1.2973 0.05054 111 82 25 4
1449 Social distancing I guess? 1.2973 0.05214 111 83 23 5
1450 No. Just No. 1.2973 0.05214 111 83 23 5
1451 Is it just me, or does this already feel stale? 1.2973 0.05054 111 82 25 4
1452 "Simple. Just follow the signs that say "This way to the giant cake." 1.2973 0.05368 111 84 21 6
1453 Ken, I really think that your future will be more of a door mat than a pedestal. 1.2973 0.05368 111 84 21 6
1454 I'm just working weddings until I monetize my Instagram account. 1.2973 0.04719 111 80 29 2
1455 You may not be the only one who thinks it is a "half-baked idea". 1.2973 0.05519 111 85 19 7
1456 Wrong venue. This is the reception hall. Your wedding is at the church. 1.2973 0.05519 111 85 19 7
1457 I guess this means you really want to be married 1.2973 0.05054 111 82 25 4
1458 Psst! Sir, help me! I am being held hostage by the man and woman on my top tier. 1.2973 0.05519 111 85 19 7
1459 Weddings always leave me in tiers,too! 1.2973 0.04719 111 80 29 2
1460 I’ve been iced, but you’re looking hot... 1.2973 0.05054 111 82 25 4
1461 Jilted? Have some cake. You paid for it. 1.2973 0.04889 111 81 27 3
1462 Yes, I'm a talking layer cake, and yes, you are getting married today! 1.2973 0.05368 111 84 21 6
1463 I'd admit she was right. But hey, I'm just a cake. 1.2973 0.05368 111 84 21 6
1464 Gee, I wouldn’t have ordered the cake if I knew it’d be a zoom wedding 1.2973 0.05214 111 83 23 5
1465 Are your feet as cold as they are up there? 1.2973 0.05214 111 83 23 5
1466 To have, to hold, to eat! 1.2973 0.04889 111 81 27 3
1467 Trust me. I've been to a lot these and they always end the same. 1.2973 0.05054 111 82 25 4
1468 Though his feet were cold, his stomach was empty 1.2973 0.05214 111 83 23 5
1469 When I said I liked you..I never meant every day. 1.2973 0.04889 111 81 27 3
1470 Well, at Least there’s more cake for you now, right 1.2963 0.05465 108 82 20 6
1471 That’s the best man 1.2963 0.04968 108 79 26 3
1472 ‘Trust me, I know what I am talking about - RUN BEFORE IT’S TOO LATE! 1.2963 0.05622 108 83 18 7
1473 I'm a pretty nice "piece"...right, amigo? 1.2963 0.05139 108 80 24 4
1474 She ran off with the petit fours. 1.2963 0.05465 108 82 20 6
1475 Like it or not, here’s the deal: After the cake is eaten, you’re on your own ! 1.2963 0.05465 108 82 20 6
1476 I only feed 10 and we are at capacity, pal. Put on your mask and get out of here. 1.2963 0.05465 108 82 20 6
1477 Wait for her. 1.2963 0.04968 108 79 26 3
1478 Oh, were there three? My bad. 1.2963 0.04968 108 79 26 3
1479 Let me do the talking. 1.2963 0.05139 108 80 24 4
1480 So far so good, but now the next step is to also make a virtual baby. 1.2963 0.04790 108 78 28 2
1481 Life is not a piece of cake. Am I right? 1.2963 0.05465 108 82 20 6
1482 When your makeup artist and cake decorator are the same person 1.2963 0.05305 108 81 22 5
1483 Hey, after this, can we go get some pie? 1.2963 0.05305 108 81 22 5
1484 Just be glad I'm not getting rubbed in your face... 1.2963 0.05622 108 83 18 7
1485 Then I heard her say “I’m only marrying him for his money.” 1.2963 0.05622 108 83 18 7
1486 Paul Hollywood was looking for more extravaganza than just vanilla on sponge. 1.2946 0.05174 112 84 23 5
1487 Is THAT what I look like?! 1.2946 0.05016 112 83 25 4
1488 She's mine now. 1.2946 0.05174 112 84 23 5
1489 ...and your mother-in-law said she could have done better." 1.2946 0.05327 112 85 21 6
1490 Marie Antoinette, here, speaking from the grave.... 1.2946 0.05327 112 85 21 6
1491 And what about my hyperglycemia? 1.2946 0.05174 112 84 23 5
1492 She’s not coming.... 1.2946 0.05327 112 85 21 6
1493 Well,don't blame me this was your idea. 1.2946 0.05476 112 86 19 7
1494 Put your finger in my mouth? 1.2946 0.05016 112 83 25 4
1495 Psst, just checking I'm at the correct place, this is the Goldstein Bar Mitzvah right? 1.2946 0.05174 112 84 23 5
1496 I can draw better than this, and I’m a cake. 1.2941 0.05322 102 76 22 4
1497 The bride ran off with the baker, but you can keep the cake. 1.2936 0.05099 109 81 24 4
1498 Marriage is not a piece of cake. And who would know better than me. 1.2936 0.05099 109 81 24 4
1499 How would you like it if I put cupcakes on your head? 1.2936 0.05263 109 82 22 5
1500 If her feet are as cold as this one's are, I'd split. 1.2936 0.05422 109 83 20 6
1501 Be more surprised they're still a couple than a cake is talking to you right now. 1.2936 0.05099 109 81 24 4
1502 All I am saying is "A moment on the lips....." 1.2936 0.05263 109 82 22 5
1503 I think she needed more space... 1.2936 0.04754 109 79 28 2
1504 I told her she could do better than you. 1.2936 0.05263 109 82 22 5
1505 Just put on a happy face 1.2936 0.04929 109 80 26 3
1506 I tried to persuade them to social distance, but they wouldn't listen to me... 1.2936 0.05422 109 83 20 6
1507 This won't last anyway, so mush it in her face. 1.2936 0.04929 109 80 26 3
1508 It’s the conscious uncoupling cake topper. 1.2936 0.04929 109 80 26 3
1509 You think for $5,000 dollars they’d give you a fourth layer. 1.2936 0.05263 109 82 22 5
1510 I’m gay. What should I do? 1.2936 0.04754 109 79 28 2
1511 Is... is that a clip-on, Jerry? 1.2936 0.05422 109 83 20 6
1512 The cake was easier to score , now I feel pressured to find a bride. 1.2936 0.04754 109 79 28 2
1513 Now, as I told you, 50% of marriages end up in divorce. And none in “happily ever after”. 1.2936 0.05263 109 82 22 5
1514 I know, it's supposed to be you -- but the hair needed work. 1.2936 0.05422 109 83 20 6
1515 The over/under is two years. 1.2936 0.05422 109 83 20 6
1516 You're only supposed to save the top layer. And only for one year,not till the divorce is final. 1.2936 0.05263 109 82 22 5
1517 The upside of a no-show bride is that you get to keep cake. 1.2936 0.05263 109 82 22 5
1518 Chocolate or the wedding is off. 1.2936 0.05099 109 81 23 4
1519 I didn’t ask to be cis-normative. 1.2936 0.04929 109 80 26 3
1520 Hey, you really need to let it go. It was never your gig to be a cake topper. 1.2936 0.05422 109 83 20 6
1521 He's promising to give her the house. 1.2936 0.05576 109 84 18 7
1522 We've got to stop meeting like this. 1.2936 0.05263 109 82 22 5
1523 If the wedding party aren’t wearing masks, I’m blowing this gig. 1.2936 0.05263 109 82 22 5
1524 You wedding was a piece of cake. Your marriage, however... 1.2936 0.05422 109 83 20 6
1525 A word to the wise, don’t even think about cutting it. Capiche? 1.2936 0.05263 109 82 22 5
1526 You mean this isn't the Nelson bachelor party? And I don't have any clothes on! 1.2936 0.05263 109 82 22 5
1527 Looks like your twin brother got your cake and ate it too. 1.2936 0.05263 109 82 22 5
1528 Do believe those two? They refuse to social distance. 1.2936 0.05422 109 83 20 6
1529 It’s my Saturday gig! 1.2936 0.05263 109 82 22 5
1530 Don't worry. It won't last. 1.2936 0.05099 109 81 24 4
1531 Sure, marriage is a piece of cake. So you want a piece of me? And eat it too? 1.2936 0.05422 109 83 20 6
1532 I told you two not to climb up those steps 1.2936 0.05263 109 82 22 5
1533 Because I’m a second thoughts cake, and you don’t have feet. 1.2936 0.05263 109 82 22 5
1534 I've been watching you all night - seems like you've become quite adept at social distancing, friend. 1.2936 0.04929 109 80 26 3
1535 Maybe I'm just being paranoid, but that's the spitting image of my cousin Frank! 1.2936 0.05099 109 81 24 4
1536 Oh, my aching back. Young marrieds are not thin anymore. 1.2936 0.05727 109 85 16 8
1537 Buzz Off, Bruce! This is a Masterpiece! 1.2936 0.04929 109 80 26 3
1538 She said she's sorry, but you're too vanilla. 1.2936 0.05263 109 82 22 5
1539 For an extra ten bucks I'll sing "The Wedding Song". 1.2936 0.05263 109 82 22 5
1540 Bottom line: Don't do it! 1.2936 0.05099 109 81 24 4
1541 I swear to God, if either of you smashes any part of me on the other's face I will give you a night you will never forget, and I'm not talking about romance! 1.2936 0.05873 109 86 14 9
1542 Pssst! If you turn around right now and run, you still stand a chance! 1.2936 0.04664 109 81 25 3
1543 I know, doesn't that just take the cake! 1.2936 0.04929 109 80 26 3
1544 I'm sorry, you didn't get the rose! 1.2936 0.05015 109 83 21 5
1545 Keep your social distance or you're next! 1.2936 0.05263 109 82 22 5
1546 This isn't all about you! 1.2936 0.05576 109 84 18 7
1547 Buddy, if you're gonna run, do it now... If not, get into that chapel. I'm melting! 1.2936 0.05422 109 83 20 6
1548 What do you want me to say, that it's a bad dream? 1.2936 0.05099 109 81 24 4
1549 OMG the bride on cake looks like my ex-girlfriend. 1.2936 0.05099 109 81 24 4
1550 So who’s going to be smushing me into your face? 1.2936 0.05099 109 81 24 4
1551 It's a socially distanced cake topper 1.2936 0.05099 109 81 24 4
1552 Aha! The old wedding cake ploy! 1.2936 0.05099 109 81 24 4
1553 Well, looks like I was a waste of money 1.2936 0.05263 109 82 22 5
1554 Bet I've got more layers than your wife. 1.2936 0.05099 109 81 24 4
1555 You're spongier in real life. 1.2936 0.04754 109 79 28 2
1556 Well,at least now I know 3 tabs of acid is my limit when I'm catering. 1.2936 0.05873 109 86 14 9
1557 Five bucks says she leaves with the drummer. 1.2936 0.04754 109 79 28 2
1558 Well, if she isn't just the icing on the ... 1.2936 0.05099 109 81 24 4
1559 I’m already in tiers 1.2936 0.05576 109 84 18 7
1560 Man up! Marriage is a piece of cake, told you! 1.2936 0.05873 109 86 14 9
1561 Shouldn’t they be wearing masks? 1.2936 0.05422 109 83 20 6
1562 Gotta warn you man, it only goes downhill from here but in the mean time... ‘enjoy the cake’ 1.2936 0.05263 109 82 22 5
1563 If it may help, this is the second wedding I’m served where the bride doesn’t show up 1.2936 0.05263 109 82 22 5
1564 didn’t you know? you can’t have your cake and be it too. 1.2936 0.05099 109 81 24 4
1565 Hey, maybe we should get out of here while we still can? 1.2936 0.04929 109 80 26 3
1566 You should know one in two wedding cakes end up in divorce. 1.2936 0.05422 109 83 20 6
1567 This is the weirdest prom 1.2925 0.05186 106 79 23 4
1568 My ex-wife is a tart. 1.2925 0.05186 106 79 23 4
1569 Don't cut me. I'm begging you. 1.2925 0.04827 106 77 27 2
1570 I'm sick and tired of drunk fathers of brides. EAT ME! 1.2925 0.05186 106 79 23 4
1571 I am the ghost of weddings future Patrick........Patricia. 1.2925 0.05010 106 78 25 3
1572 There's a bid difference between "I do" and "I should." 1.2925 0.05356 106 80 21 5
1573 Hey,you! What are you looking at?! 1.2925 0.04827 106 77 27 2
1574 Don't even think about it Brad. 1.2925 0.04827 106 77 27 2
1575 I give it six months tops, she is a chiffon and he is a carrot. 1.2925 0.05010 106 78 25 3
1576 I thought I canceled everything this year, but I did forget to call the bakery. 1.2925 0.05356 106 80 21 5
1577 WEDDING DAY MUNCHIES DILEMMA . . . . 1.2925 0.05522 106 81 19 6
1578 Six feet back please, sir. 1.2925 0.05186 106 79 23 4
1579 This is a real meta moment for you huh? 1.2925 0.05186 106 79 23 4
1580 Hey, are you looking for your cake? 1.2925 0.05682 106 82 17 7
1581 So what do you do for a living? 1.2925 0.05356 106 80 21 5
1582 That's the last time I let them talk me into layers. 1.2925 0.05356 106 80 21 5
1583 I thought I was the best man. 1.2909 0.05059 110 82 24 4
1584 Psss! Before you make the leap you should check out season 4 of The Crown. 1.2909 0.05532 110 85 18 7
1585 RSVP?! What do you mean? I'm the cake! 1.2909 0.04892 110 81 26 3
1586 Hey - this may be our last chance to talk before I’m defrosted in 10 years. 1.2909 0.04892 110 81 26 3
1587 I thought you said this wedding was a piece of cake. 1.2909 0.05059 110 82 24 4
1588 Your bride's standing on the cake that was just airlifted onto the parking lot. 1.2909 0.05379 110 84 20 6
1589 Look, I'm not the one who's gonna tell you to go through with this. 1.2909 0.05222 110 83 22 5
1590 Who told you having a wedding would be a piece of cake? 1.2909 0.05379 110 84 20 6
1591 Everyday tell her you love her, and life will be a piece of cake. 1.2897 0.05313 107 81 21 5
1592 I know you weren't expecting a sentient cake, but neither were your bride and your best man when they were making out right here about ten minutes ago. 1.2897 0.05635 107 83 17 7
1593 Psst, what odds will you give me that the leftover cake lasts longer than these two? 1.2897 0.05313 107 81 21 5
1594 I told her the wedding was a fraud and that you're a cheat, because I didn't want to get eaten. 1.2897 0.04970 107 79 25 3
1595 Yeah, that suit definitely looks better on me. 1.2897 0.05477 107 82 19 6
1596 She social-distanced so far from you that she bumped into him. 1.2897 0.05145 107 80 23 4
1597 Sure my job is rough, being a wedding cake and having a bride and groom on top of me all day long, but my cousin is a cake at a circumcision – you should see what HE has to put up with. 1.2897 0.05477 107 82 19 6
1598 You might think that I have a vested interest in this, but you must agree that CUTTING the cake immediately after TYING the knot is bad karma. 1.2897 0.05635 107 83 17 7
1599 I know it was a love triangle, but someone had to be the bigger man! 1.2897 0.04881 107 81 22 4
1600 Run!..... I’ll distract them. 1.2897 0.05635 107 83 17 7
1601 Try me now. She’ll get over it. 1.2897 0.04970 107 79 25 3
1602 Sorry, mate, the flavor’s not chocolate it’s heteronormativity. 1.2885 0.05409 104 79 20 5
1603 Come to a wedding, they said. You’ll have fun, they said, and now they want to stick a knife in me. 1.2885 0.05234 104 78 22 4
1604 There's levels to relationships 1.2885 0.05234 104 78 22 4
1605 What I'm saying, Jack, is see your *future* self on the cake... 1.2885 0.04358 104 81 19 4
1606 Spoiler alert... 1.2885 0.05409 104 79 20 5
1607 I hate to tell you this, but I'm gay. 1.2885 0.04864 104 76 26 2
1608 You're fucked! 1.2885 0.05409 104 79 20 5
1609 You can have the cake and eat them too. 1.2885 0.05234 104 78 22 4
1610 This will never work. 1.2885 0.05053 104 77 24 3
1611 I knew I’d forgotten someone ! 1.2885 0.05234 104 78 22 4
1612 This should be a 4 tier event 1.2885 0.05409 104 79 20 5
1613 I don’t unmasked. 1.2885 0.05579 104 80 18 6
1614 Hey...Its me, Buddy the Cake Guy. Listen I need a favor... 1.2885 0.05053 104 77 24 3
1615 Psst! Can you get me a coffee? 1.2885 0.05409 104 79 20 5
1616 Will you be my sugar daddy? 1.2885 0.05409 104 79 20 5
1617 He's her third layer. 1.2885 0.05744 104 81 16 7
1618 Okay, Solomon, let's see if you can figure out how to keep these two from cutting me in half in the divorce. 1.2885 0.04464 104 79 22 3
1619 You will never top this 1.2885 0.05234 104 78 22 4
1620 If you cut me, I will haunt you for the rest of your life. 1.2885 0.05744 104 81 16 7
1621 And then she says, ‘I’m just after his money.’ But hey, what do I know? I’m just the cake. 1.2885 0.05409 104 79 20 5
1622 You can still slip away. 1.2885 0.05234 104 78 22 4
1623 You can now eat the bride. 1.2885 0.05053 104 77 24 3
1624 Be gentle. 1.2870 0.05432 108 83 19 6
1625 Just overheard your bride say you'll be wearing most of this cake if you don't stop goggling the bride's maids. 1.2870 0.05104 108 81 23 4
1626 Sorry your bride ran away--I didn't mean to be vulgar when I said, "eat me." 1.2870 0.05271 108 82 21 5
1627 I'm just a reflection of you. And by tomorrow, I will have been sliced, eaten, and digested by 300 of your closest friends. 1.2870 0.04931 108 80 25 3
1628 Pssst -- your ex-wife paid to let her jump out of me right when you cut me. 1.2870 0.05432 108 83 19 6
1629 That looks like her first husband—not me! 1.2870 0.04931 108 80 24 3
1630 Your cold feet have been accommodated. I am an ice-cream cake. 1.2870 0.04931 108 80 25 3
1631 It's official now... you've been sculpted in marzipan. 1.2870 0.05271 108 82 21 5
1632 You can't fool me. I saw you with that pathetic buttercream bimbo! 1.2870 0.05432 108 83 19 6
1633 The baker said he would be fired if he put two men on the top,so he stashed a second guy under my mouth. 1.2870 0.05271 108 82 21 5
1634 Cold feet??? You take the cake! She's in tears and I'm in tiers! 1.2870 0.05271 108 82 21 5
1635 Dude, you should have asked the baker to mask and socially distance the bride and groom ornaments! 1.2870 0.05271 108 82 21 5
1636 Don't look down. But if you do look down, don't listen to whatever the giant cake tells you. 1.2870 0.04931 108 80 25 3
1637 Think about it. There's a lot more cake than icing. 1.2870 0.05271 108 82 21 5
1638 What do I know, I'm just low-tier. 1.2870 0.04931 108 80 25 3
1639 Absence makes the heart grow fondant while the bride danced the merengue with your best man. 1.2870 0.05432 108 83 19 6
1640 Keep walkin', fatty. 1.2870 0.05271 108 82 21 5
1641 If she’s not coming, can I can take off these stupid hats? 1.2870 0.05104 108 81 23 4
1642 It will end in tiers. 1.2870 0.04931 108 80 25 3
1643 Game over. 1.2870 0.05104 108 81 23 4
1644 Yes, they are six cake-feet apart! 1.2870 0.05271 108 82 21 5
1645 'Don't forget to distance six feet and wear your mask' 1.2870 0.05432 108 83 19 6
1646 She left; pretend I'm an American pie. 1.2870 0.04931 108 80 25 3
1647 What, even the cake has an emoji? Damned millenials. 1.2870 0.05271 108 82 21 5
1648 Yes, you could be on top, just be someone else. 1.2870 0.05104 108 81 23 4
1649 I can’t support this union. 1.2870 0.05271 108 82 21 5
1650 Don't complain about how I look, your hair looks like icing. 1.2870 0.05104 108 81 23 4
1651 After this it's no cakewalk. 1.2870 0.04753 108 79 27 2
1652 Since when were human-counterparts to cake toppings a thing? 1.2870 0.05104 108 81 23 4
1653 Don't tell the baker she's a drag queen. 1.2870 0.05432 108 83 19 6
1654 Believe me, it's not all sweetness and light up there. 1.2870 0.04931 108 80 25 3
1655 That's all I'm sayin' man ... it's half baked. 1.2870 0.05432 108 83 19 6
1656 Listen,man. This cake is loaded with dough. 1.2870 0.05104 108 81 23 4
1657 Take it from me, Dude, marriage is a piece of cake. 1.2870 0.05432 108 83 19 6
1658 Speak now or I'll be just a piece" 1.2870 0.05271 108 82 21 5
1659 By the time you get down to my layer, the marriage will be over. 1.2870 0.04931 108 80 25 3
1660 Don't worry, I'm not fruit cake. 1.2870 0.04567 108 78 29 1
1661 I think they just moved! 1.2870 0.05432 108 83 19 6
1662 The first cut is the sweetest. 1.2870 0.04753 108 79 27 2
1663 Try to look on the bright side Josh. She may be marrying your best friend, but he’ll never have your great hair. 1.2870 0.05104 108 81 23 4
1664 No, I swear I've seen you somewhere before. You're not from Aunt Ellen's side? 1.2870 0.05188 108 84 18 6
1665 yes you may now eat the bride 1.2870 0.05104 108 81 23 4
1666 Tom suddenly realized Cynthia got the last word in on the wedding cake design 1.2857 0.05533 105 81 18 6
1667 I’m not the wedding cake. I’m the we-need-to-have-a-serious-discussion-about-the-division-of-chores-around-the-house cake. 1.2857 0.05191 105 79 22 4
1668 If you put part of me in your freezer for 10 years, I'll choke you. 1.2857 0.05012 105 78 24 3
1669 Howdy topper! 1.2857 0.05533 105 81 18 6
1670 Yeah, yeah; I know. It shoulda been you. 1.2857 0.05012 105 78 24 3
1671 Hey, if you see Ice Cream... tell her we’re done. 1.2857 0.05191 105 79 22 4
1672 I want to catch the bouquet. 1.2857 0.05365 105 80 20 5
1673 The fluffy icing goes on the cake not on your head! 1.2857 0.05533 105 81 18 6
1674 I need an adult! It's that sick bastard from American Pie! 1.2857 0.05365 105 80 20 5
1675 If you think the Tux was pricey, you should see what she spent on me. 1.2857 0.05012 105 78 24 3
1676 I wasn't too expensive, but then again I'm also not worth it. 1.2857 0.05533 105 81 18 6
1677 Please don’t cut me. 1.2857 0.04826 105 77 26 2
1678 Your blushing bride loved me so much she ran off with the baker. 1.2857 0.05012 105 78 24 3
1679 ...And you're on a cake for an even bigger couple, and they're on a cake for an even bigger... 1.2857 0.05365 105 80 20 5
1680 Social distance or no cake for you! 1.2857 0.05012 105 78 24 3
1681 Are you standing on my mother? 1.2857 0.05191 105 79 22 4
1682 They won't wear masks but at least they are distancing. 1.2857 0.05012 105 78 24 3
1683 You know it. I'm more fun. Let's make a break for it. 1.2857 0.04826 105 77 26 2
1684 Please don’t cut me, I’m a little frosted right now. 1.2857 0.05191 105 79 22 4
1685 It just goes to show: you can’t have your cake and Edith too! 1.2857 0.05533 105 81 18 6
1686 Sorry that she bailed, but she actually keeps me in the prenup. 1.2857 0.05365 105 80 20 5
1687 Hey, could you give me a quick spin so I can take in the decor, thanks! 1.2857 0.04826 105 77 26 2
1688 The cake tops are both two-time losers. 1.2857 0.05533 105 81 18 6
1689 Pssst...It's me Sharon, the Maid of Honour. I'm doing the Marilyn thing. Would you mind dimming the lights, its almost my cue 1.2857 0.05191 105 79 22 4
1690 That's how he shrank his first wife, too. 1.2857 0.05012 105 78 24 3
1691 If you cut me, I'll sue you. 1.2857 0.05191 105 79 22 4
1692 Psst, dare you to bite her head off. 1.2857 0.04632 105 76 28 1
1693 Loved watching your first dance! What’s next? 1.2857 0.05191 105 79 22 4
1694 I'm sorry, Dave, but Alice is still not conceding to Bertha. 1.2857 0.04826 105 82 18 4
1695 Can you believe it, they think they're real. 1.2857 0.05365 105 80 20 5
1696 No, you can have your cake and eat it too. But I'm not your cake. 1.2857 0.04826 105 77 26 2
1697 No, I really don’t think there’s room for you up there too! 1.2857 0.05365 105 80 20 5
1698 Where'd the bride go? 1.2857 0.05533 105 81 18 6
1699 I know they *look* happy, but they’re just the cake on top of the icing 1.2857 0.05191 105 79 22 4
1700 I don’t know... Yours looks like you, but my cake topper looks nothing like me 1.2857 0.05365 105 80 20 5
1701 Be prepared, there'll be nothing sweet in your marriage but me. 1.2857 0.05365 105 80 20 5
1702 I hate to mention it but your bride's heels are giving me a headache!" 1.2844 0.05064 109 82 23 4
1703 Sure, she's beautiful. But she can't give you silky vanilla buttercream frosting with sprinkles, the way I can. 1.2844 0.05229 109 83 21 5
1704 I dare you ... take the cake 1.2844 0.05229 109 83 21 5
1705 Don’t look now but your ex just showed up. 1.2844 0.05229 109 83 21 5
1706 Nobody told you to get married. You can't have your cake and eat it too! 1.2844 0.05064 109 82 23 4
1707 Always the groomsman never the groom. 1.2844 0.04893 109 81 25 3
1708 They’re called micro weddings now. 1.2844 0.05229 109 83 21 5
1709 I tiered up at the ceremony. 1.2843 0.05283 102 77 21 4
1710 What flavors are you? 1.2830 0.05149 106 80 22 4
1711 We can work with the hair, but to really be a wedding cake, lose the arms. 1.2830 0.05236 106 83 17 6
1712 You are wearing THIS? REALLY? 1.2830 0.05321 106 81 20 5
1713 I promise, I'm better than warm apple pie. 1.2830 0.05321 106 81 20 5
1714 Looks to me like they made you too short. 1.2830 0.04787 106 78 26 2
1715 Anyway Doug, it's like they say...marriage is a piece of flesh. 1.2830 0.05487 106 82 18 6
1716 Hey buddy, six feet or I will cut you. 1.2830 0.05805 106 84 14 8
1717 Stand on the other side and smile. 1.2830 0.05149 106 80 22 4
1718 You're still short one item. 1.2830 0.04972 106 79 24 3
1719 Listen buddy, I overheard them whispering "let them eat cake" during the toast, it will only get worse. 1.2830 0.05321 106 81 20 5
1720 If I told you you're hallucinating, would you believe me? 1.2830 0.05321 106 81 20 5
1721 You know, of course, you shouldn't be up there if you're not edible. 1.2830 0.05321 106 81 20 5
1722 Do I look fat??? 1.2830 0.05149 106 80 22 4
1723 They may have each other, but you'll always have me, Doug. 1.2830 0.05149 106 80 22 4
1724 Yeah, I know it's creepy, but I'm also gonna get rubbed all over your face. 1.2830 0.02598 106 84 20 2
1725 Only very short people apply for the job of cake model. 1.2830 0.05149 106 80 22 4
1726 Could you get me a glass of Prosecco before they rip the fondant from my bones? 1.2830 0.05149 106 80 22 4
1727 We have to talk. 1.2830 0.05149 106 80 22 4
1728 Where do you think you're going? 1.2830 0.05321 106 81 20 5
1729 Please put a mask on and back up 5 and a half feet. 1.2830 0.04596 106 77 28 1
1730 Hmm... who drew a face on the cake? 1.2830 0.05149 106 80 22 4
1731 stop looking at me like that, you promised yourself you wouldn't cheat! 1.2830 0.04880 106 81 21 4
1732 You've got a choice - me or marriage." 1.2830 0.05149 106 80 22 4
1733 You're just hoping I'll pop out of your wedding cake, aren't you? 1.2830 0.05149 106 80 22 4
1734 Both had to get baked to make it through tonight, huh? 1.2830 0.05149 106 80 22 4
1735 So, when is your birthday? 1.2830 0.04972 106 79 24 3
1736 I know what you did Carl, you naughty boy. 1.2830 0.05321 106 81 20 5
1737 Trust me, when all is said and done, you'll realize that I was the sweetest part of this marriage. 1.2816 0.04862 103 76 25 2
1738 Sorry about your partner being female up there; my baker said God created Adam and Eve; not Adam and black Steve ... 1.2816 0.05921 103 82 13 8
1739 Too cheap to pay for candles? 1.2816 0.05239 103 78 21 4
1740 Cut it out, will ya. 1.2816 0.05239 103 78 21 4
1741 Congratulations. Hope you got a pre-nup. 1.2816 0.05239 103 78 21 4
1742 I forgot my tux. 1.2816 0.05239 103 78 21 4
1743 Well... "The cake lasted longer than the marriage" 1.2816 0.04003 103 76 24 1
1744 Ralph, 'The Cake Whisperer'. 1.2816 0.05590 103 80 17 6
1745 I'm telling you, don't do it! 1.2816 0.05590 103 80 17 6
1746 Our 3-D simulation is promising. But your disco haircut has to go. 1.2816 0.05054 103 77 23 3
1747 Sigh. Even "cake -topper" me doesn't want to do this. 1.2816 0.04862 103 76 25 2
1748 I give them six months, tops. 1.2816 0.04862 103 76 25 2
1749 Hey Bud--Blow in this hole and the bride will fall over on the groom. 1.2816 0.05418 103 79 19 5
1750 Letting yourself go starts now. 1.2816 0.04862 103 76 25 2
1751 Your marriage is not going to be a cakewalk. 1.2816 0.05054 103 77 23 3
1752 Alice and Derek took the EAT ME! option 1.2816 0.05239 103 78 21 4
1753 You try looking this good in icing! 1.2816 0.05054 103 77 23 3
1754 You owe a fee for the last minute change. 1.2816 0.05418 103 79 19 5
1755 I wasn’t baked yesterday. This whole thing is getting stale. 1.2816 0.04862 103 76 25 2
1756 On the outside, I'm stereotypical. But on the inside I'm chocolate fudge! 1.2816 0.04662 103 75 27 1
1757 Didn't you get the zoom invitation? 1.2816 0.05239 103 78 21 4
1758 Seriously bro, don’t cut me. 1.2816 0.05054 103 77 23 3
1759 Step it up, will ya? The girl here's got a smoker at six. 1.2816 0.05418 103 79 19 5
1760 I feel you, man. My cupcake left me at the buffet table. 1.2816 0.05239 103 78 21 4
1761 You really need a CAKE to tell you this COVID wedding is a bad idea? 1.2816 0.05054 103 77 23 3
1762 Tiers to you. 1.2816 0.05590 103 80 17 6
1763 Man up. I was created Angel Food and no amount of sulking is going to make me chocolate. 1.2816 0.05239 103 78 21 4
1764 Huh. I really thought I'd be up on the top teir...not the bottom one. 1.2816 0.04662 103 75 27 1
1765 Having Second thoughts? 1.2816 0.05239 103 78 21 4
1766 No, I’m not going to go along with your American Pie fantasy. 1.2816 0.05418 103 79 19 5
1767 Phew, you look just like your cake topper. 1.2816 0.05418 103 79 19 5
1768 It doesn't count. I haven't conceded. 1.2816 0.05239 103 78 21 4
1769 This is the Schwarz bachelor party, isn't it? 1.2816 0.05590 103 80 17 6
1770 So I say, "Make me a cake," and whamo the dang Witch turned me into a heterosexual wedding cake, and I am gay! 1.2816 0.05590 103 80 17 6
1771 Honey, I shrunk your bride. You’ll thank me someday. 1.2816 0.05418 103 79 19 5
1772 Miniature couple - miniature expectations. 1.2816 0.05239 103 78 21 4
1773 Jilt cake epiphany. 1.2816 0.05418 103 79 19 5
1774 Ok, they're distanced, but no masks?! 1.2816 0.05054 103 77 23 3
1775 Don’t worry, a lot of people don’t understand, “You can’t have your cake and eat it, too.” 1.2816 0.05054 103 77 23 3
1776 What's up punk? You wanna piece of me? 1.2816 0.05239 103 78 21 4
1777 The bride and groom look scrumptious tonight, wouldn’t you agree? 1.2816 0.04559 103 76 24 2
1778 No, really, I'm happy for you two 1.2816 0.05239 103 78 21 4
1779 Don't risk it -- this is his third try, her second. 1.2816 0.05418 103 79 19 5
1780 What were you expecting at your Zoom wedding 1.2816 0.05590 103 80 17 6
1781 Test results please..... 1.2816 0.04120 103 78 20 3
1782 The last time I saw her she was heading to the Bridal Suite with the best man 1.2816 0.04862 103 76 25 2
1783 From this angle the suit does add a few pounds. 1.2816 0.05239 103 78 21 4
1784 What does one say on an occasion like this? 1.2816 0.05054 103 77 23 3
1785 Don’t worry, I hear he’s lactose intolerant. 1.2816 0.05054 103 77 23 3
1786 Trust me, thirty years from now, you may regret the rental tux... 1.2816 0.05054 103 77 23 3
1787 Don’t be upset, he did you the biggest favor of your life 1.2816 0.05758 103 81 15 7
1788 It’s not too late for us.” 1.2816 0.05054 103 77 23 3
1789 Leave the knife, take the cannoli. 1.2816 0.05239 103 78 21 4
1790 I hope this is enough for 150 people and your obese mother. 1.2816 0.05758 103 81 15 7
1791 Hey, big boy. Do you want to join me on the third tier? 1.2816 0.05239 103 78 21 4
1792 She said she found a better fit. 1.2816 0.05054 103 77 23 3
1793 Don’t object to me. You should have said something at the ceremony when they asked. 1.2816 0.05239 103 78 21 4
1794 Here's our inflatable cake and valet for a Zoom reception extravaganza! 1.2816 0.05239 103 78 21 4
1795 PSST! This may your only chance to RUN! 1.2816 0.05054 103 77 23 3
1796 Don’t worry. The bottom layer isn’t real. 1.2816 0.04862 103 76 25 2
1797 When you get the bill you'll be in tears. 1.2816 0.05418 103 79 19 5
1798 What do you mean she’s frosting intolerant? 1.2816 0.05054 103 77 23 3
1799 Honey, I shrunk the bride and groom 😆 1.2816 0.05921 103 82 13 8
1800 It’s better than a pillar of salt. 1.2816 0.04862 103 76 25 2
1801 So your first wife was reincarnated as your wedding cake? 1.2816 0.05590 103 80 17 6
1802 And the Cakes remain undefeated in the traditional Groom v Wedding Cake staring contest! 1.2816 0.05418 103 79 19 5
1803 No, you can have your cake and eat it too 1.2816 0.05239 103 78 21 4
1804 Dream on, pal 1.2816 0.05054 103 77 23 3
1805 Cake whispers, “Please, you can still stop this.” 1.2816 0.05239 103 78 21 4
1806 Heteronormativity strikes again 1.2816 0.05239 103 78 21 4
1807 Slice me. I dare you. 1.2816 0.05239 103 78 21 4
1808 Jennifer said you can have me and she will keep the gifts. 1.2816 0.04862 103 76 25 2
1809 Was the ceremony a piece of me? 1.2816 0.05054 103 77 23 3
1810 Looks like we both got baked before coming here, eh? 1.2816 0.04662 103 75 27 1
1811 I didn’t know she was a witch! And I didn’t mean to insult her, I just said she had a funny hat! So yes James, I’m a cake. Now can we continue the wedding? 1.2816 0.05418 103 79 19 5
1812 Sorry to say, Ted. We may be her first but we’re not her last. 1.2816 0.05054 103 77 23 3
1813 They mixed up our hair! 1.2816 0.04862 103 76 25 2
1814 Words can cut too. 1.2816 0.05239 103 78 21 4
1815 Psst. Hey. The wedding planner was laughing behind your back about how you’re much fatter than the figurine suggests. Just thought it was pretty messed up and that you should know. 1.2816 0.05239 103 78 21 4
1816 Don’t look down 1.2816 0.05418 103 79 19 5
1817 You're throwing away both of our lives. 1.2800 0.05700 100 78 16 6
1818 I hope to get married myself. 1.2788 0.05709 104 82 15 7
1819 You two have been on my mind a lot lately. 1.2788 0.05195 104 79 21 4
1820 Having second thoughts, big guy? 1.2788 0.05195 104 79 21 4
1821 Let me give you some advice on your wedding day: cakes don't talk. You're having a breakdown! 1.2788 0.05195 104 79 21 4
1822 You should be celebrating. You're the one that got away. 1.2772 0.05097 101 76 22 3
1823 Mother, I told you I want to cut the apron strings... 1.2772 0.05472 101 78 18 5
1824 And I'm not a pop-out cake, if that's what you're thinking. 1.2772 0.05822 101 80 14 7
1825 I'll always be her first love. 1.2772 0.05288 101 77 20 4
1826 She left you for the guy on top. He has straight hair. 1.2772 0.05288 101 77 20 4
1827 Don't worry, they're benign. 1.2772 0.05097 101 76 22 3
1828 If you get a quick annulment, you can have me all to yourself. 1.2772 0.05097 101 76 22 3
1829 I'm much more than just another pretty cake. 1.2772 0.04899 101 75 24 2
1830 Eat me to get very small. 1.2772 0.05097 101 76 22 3
1831 Are you related to the bride or the groom? 1.2772 0.05097 101 76 22 3
1832 Sorry, dude. She just split with the baker. 1.2772 0.05097 101 76 22 3
1833 Yeah, keep telling yourself that they're just friends. 1.2772 0.05097 101 76 22 3
1834 Join us, Bernie, don't be afraid. 1.2772 0.05288 101 77 20 4
1835 Hmm, the only smile is on the bottom tier. 1.2772 0.05097 101 76 22 3
1836 I told him size does matter. 1.2772 0.05097 101 76 22 3
1837 Hey,that guy up there sure doesn’t look like you? 1.2772 0.05097 101 76 22 3
1838 It's not you, it's me. 1.2772 0.05288 101 77 20 4
1839 Oh. So you didn't see on the invitation that thing about shrinking? 1.2772 0.04899 101 75 24 2
1840 Could I interest you in what I call a marriage default swap? 1.2772 0.04692 101 74 26 1
1841 She did not mean literally when she said, "You take the cake" 1.2772 0.05472 101 78 18 5
1842 That's his trophy wife. I'm the ex. 1.2772 0.05097 101 76 22 3
1843 Do it and I will cut you, Bob 1.2772 0.04692 101 74 26 1
1844 Stop complaining! You're the one who told her you didn't want anything big, and the plainer the better. 1.2772 0.05097 101 76 22 3
1845 Come on, it's okay...I'm gluten-free.. 1.2772 0.05288 101 77 20 4
1846 Which one are you? 1.2772 0.05472 101 78 18 5
1847 Your mojo is trapped in your wedding cake. Smile to release. 1.2772 0.05288 101 77 20 4
1848 Can you get me out of here before they start slicing! 1.2772 0.04899 101 75 24 2
1849 I saw you crossing your fingers during the vows. 1.2772 0.04692 101 74 26 1
1850 Same old,same old. 1.2772 0.04899 101 75 24 2
1851 Now that you are getting married please don't cut me off. 1.2772 0.05097 101 76 22 3
1852 I’m too expensive to just schmush in her face! 1.2772 0.04899 101 75 24 2
1853 I thought you only looked at the Bride like that! 1.2772 0.05288 101 77 20 4
1854 The hair and nose are so wrong. 1.2772 0.04899 101 75 24 2
1855 Dude, come on! Her hints are getting more and more desperate! 1.2772 0.05472 101 78 18 5
1856 If you’re not close now, what will your future look like? 1.2772 0.05288 101 77 20 4
1857 The cake is organic, gluten free, sugar free, and can be easily paired with most wines. The marriage not so much. 1.2772 0.04692 101 74 26 1
1858 The folks upstairs feel strongly against PDA and wanted me to inform you they will not be holding hands. 1.2772 0.04899 101 75 24 2
1859 Listen Bub, marriage may start with the cake but you're going to have to choke down the creamed corn and brussel sprouts too if you are going to go the distance. 1.2772 0.05097 101 76 22 3
1860 No we estimated what you'd look like after you eat me. 1.2772 0.05097 101 76 22 3
1861 I feel every bite you take of me. 1.2772 0.05822 101 80 14 7
1862 How did you do that? 1.2772 0.05650 101 79 16 6
1863 Hi don’t eat me 1.2772 0.04999 101 78 19 4
1864 It's all down from tier! 1.2772 0.05288 101 77 20 4
1865 She really preferred you but he just seems like a better fit for her current lifestyle. 1.2772 0.05380 101 80 15 6
1866 The guy on top looks like her ex-boyfriend! 1.2772 0.04899 101 75 24 2
1867 There's nothing like sugary carbs to numb your emotions 1.2772 0.05650 101 79 16 6
1868 Brad, I think she took the wrong pill. 1.2772 0.05288 101 77 20 4
1869 Do you like my hat? 1.2772 0.04899 101 75 24 2
1870 I know that was supposed to be you, as I said,be happy she changed her mind. 1.2772 0.05288 101 77 20 4
1871 Pull yourself together, you look like you've never talked to a dessert before!" 1.2772 0.05288 101 77 20 4
1872 - Such an honor to meet you in person! 1.2772 0.05650 101 79 16 6
1873 Get me out of here! 1.2772 0.05288 101 77 20 4
1874 She realized . . . he was the Best Man!! 1.2772 0.04899 101 75 24 2
1875 If cakes could talk, I would say, 'It's a done deal!'" 1.2772 0.05097 101 76 22 3
1876 "No offense, but I'd say she's the anthropomorphic one. 1.2772 0.04899 101 75 24 2
1877 No one’s ever asked for a receipt before but she insisted. 1.2772 0.05472 101 78 18 5
1878 How about we eat you for a change? 1.2772 0.05288 101 77 20 4
1879 Just saw your bride run out in a hurry. Guess she must have forgotten her mask at home too? 🤔😷 1.2772 0.05650 101 79 16 6
1880 This dream again 1.2772 0.05097 101 76 22 3
1881 You may eat the cake 1.2772 0.05288 101 77 20 4
1882 Honey, I shrunk the couple! 1.2772 0.05288 101 77 20 4
1883 I heard their signs don’t go well together, bet it’s divorce soon. 1.2772 0.05288 101 77 20 4
1884 I won’t tell her if you don’t 1.2772 0.04899 101 75 24 2
1885 Honey is it me or am I looking a little round? 1.2772 0.05472 101 78 18 5
1886 Let’s go back to Zoom Wedding Season of 2020 from my living room. 1.2772 0.05472 101 78 18 5
1887 Yes, I AM layered! Thank you for asking! 1.2772 0.04692 101 74 26 1
1888 I’m here to tell you, you actually CANNOT have your cake and eat it too. 1.2772 0.05472 101 78 18 5
1889 The cake adds 10 pounds. 1.2772 0.04692 101 79 18 4
1890 I wonder if they do life size figurines too 1.2772 0.05288 101 77 20 4
1891 Hey bud, you’re just a prop. The cake belongs to your wife. 1.2772 0.05288 101 77 20 4
1892 Don’t do it. Both of your families are going to eat me. Your tux is rented, icing on the crotch won’t go unnoticed! 1.2772 0.05650 101 79 16 6
1893 You and I both know this cake is ending up in divorce 1.2772 0.04899 101 75 24 2
1894 Life is not a piece of cake for you right? 1.2772 0.05288 101 77 20 4
1895 It's not too late to still marry Richard 1.2772 0.05472 101 78 18 5
1896 You know once you have a cake, you can't eat it too. 1.2755 0.05186 98 74 21 3
1897 Or you could keep me for your next wedding. 1.2755 0.05385 98 75 19 4
1898 Wait - haven't I seen you somewhere before? 1.2755 0.05385 98 75 19 4
1899 The bride is still in quarantine. 1.2755 0.05186 98 74 21 3
1900 Sorry buddy, but she left you for the short guy. 1.2755 0.05385 98 75 19 4
1901 The Covid Cake Fairy says you have to cut me one at a time. 1.2755 0.05385 98 75 19 4
1902 The bride request that you quarantine for the first 14 days. 1.2755 0.05385 98 75 19 4
1903 I'm with you. I can't believe they actually went through with this, either. 1.2755 0.05577 98 76 17 5
1904 Psst! Just thought you should know. She’s not wearing any underwear. 1.2755 0.05385 98 75 19 4
1905 Why do I feel like I'm missing the joke? 1.2755 0.05186 98 73 21 3
1906 Your mother-in-law was saying that she doesn’t think this wedding is worth the calories. 1.2755 0.05942 98 78 13 7
1907 'Give it a few tiers?' 1.2755 0.05385 98 75 19 4
1908 You put the top tier in the freezer and take it out in a year to mark when the party is clearly over. 1.2755 0.05186 98 74 21 3
1909 I hope that you are not upset. This might be our last chance to be together 1.2755 0.05385 98 75 19 4
1910 Your wife is paying me to make sure you only get one slice. 1.2755 0.05577 98 76 17 5
1911 The baker and his wife had an argument that morning. 1.2755 0.05186 98 74 21 3
1912 She sends her apologies. She had a previous engagement. 1.2755 0.05186 98 74 21 3
1913 My bride is socially distant at home. 1.2755 0.04979 98 73 23 2
1914 Your resume is impressive, but we went with someone who seems like a better fit." 1.2755 0.05385 98 75 19 4
1915 Weird seeing yourself with her, right? 1.2755 0.05186 98 74 21 3
1916 She said to say, you take the cake - she's taking a hike.' 1.2755 0.05186 98 74 21 3
1917 Layer after layer of misery 1.2755 0.05942 98 78 13 7
1918 Is that how I look in a tuxedo, really? 1.2755 0.05577 98 76 17 5
1919 Your showstopper is a little underbaked 1.2755 0.05385 98 75 19 4
1920 I’ve seen it all Dan. I suggest you get a pre-nup. 1.2755 0.05762 98 77 15 6
1921 Yeah my last boyfriend told me he didn’t like chocolate cakes and I just couldn’t be with someone that ignorant. 1.2755 0.05762 98 77 15 6
1922 They say the cake topper adds ten pounds. 1.2755 0.05186 98 74 21 3
1923 Don't even think about getting on top of me!! 1.2755 0.04979 98 73 23 2
1924 They won a lawsuit against a gay baker. 1.2755 0.05762 98 77 15 6
1925 They can’t be bothered with trivial things until the mystery of the stolen election is revealed. 1.2755 0.05577 98 76 17 5
1926 Hello - My name is Cake! 1.2755 0.05577 98 76 17 5
1927 That’s right Steve, it’s cakes all the way down. 1.2755 0.05577 98 76 17 5
1928 personally I think it does looks like you.... but what do I know....I'm just a cake 1.2755 0.04979 98 73 23 2
1929 Lemon cake, peppermint frosting? I hope youʻre the one doing the cooking, my man. 1.2755 0.04979 98 73 23 2
1930 Apparently he really is the best man. 1.2755 0.04979 98 73 23 2
1931 You did order a wedding cake, and the answer is yes! 1.2755 0.04979 98 73 23 2
1932 There but for she go I. 1.2755 0.05577 98 76 17 5
1933 I've been to some real crazy weddings, but this one takes the cake. 1.2755 0.04979 98 73 23 2
1934 Me? I'm here for the entertainment. 1.2755 0.04763 98 72 25 1
1935 Trust me, you'll regret this one day 1.2755 0.05577 98 75 17 5
1936 Only a little off the top please. 1.2755 0.04763 98 72 25 1
1937 How long's she been grooming you, dude? 1.2755 0.05186 98 74 21 3
1938 Don’t do it Harry. We both bleed red, I have strawberry filling. 1.2755 0.05385 98 75 19 4
1939 The cake is a lie 1.2755 0.05385 98 75 19 4
1940 Seems like a whole lot of work for a social commentary. 1.2755 0.05385 98 75 19 4
1941 I said a cake made out of a face not a face made out of a cake! 1.2755 0.05577 98 76 17 5
1942 Don't just stand there, man, go after her! I swapped spit with 30 eggs in a 350 degree oven for this! 1.2755 0.05762 98 77 15 6
1943 The 80's called, Johnny. They said your girl stole your hairdo and your best friend." 1.2745 0.05242 102 78 20 4
1944 You don’t have to go through with this. 1.2745 0.04858 102 76 24 2
1945 Looks like you can't have your cake and Edith." 1.2727 0.05337 99 76 19 4
1946 It´s wedding cake all the way down. 1.2727 0.05527 99 77 17 5
1947 Do you want to lose weight or eat me? You can't have both. 1.2727 0.04936 99 74 23 2
1948 And so I said, 'Darling, YOU'RE the artist,' and she worked her magic. Layers and frosted tips. 1.2727 0.04722 99 73 25 1
1949 Don't look at me like I'm the weirdo. 1.2727 0.05337 99 76 19 4
1950 Michael, it’s your mother. How is New York and your new advertising job? Bethany is asking about you. Your father and I are worried. Why won’t you pick up? 1.2727 0.05527 99 77 17 5
1951 * Psst . . . It's all a hoax. I'm not even chocolate." 1.2727 0.05140 99 75 21 3
1952 It's a Black Friday wedding and you're no bargain. 1.2727 0.05140 99 75 21 3
1953 Hello Sir, I'm Mr. Cake, just eat a little chunk, take a break and realize you are not drunk and I'm not fake. 1.2727 0.05140 99 75 21 3
1954 Ask me a question...you can say "how many calories in a slice of cake?" or "what's my maximum spousal tax deduction? You can say "Play The Beatles' Give Me Money That's What I Want"...The first week is free and then it's $5.99 every month. 1.2727 0.05527 99 77 17 5
1955 Fancy some cardboard? 1.2727 0.05710 99 78 15 6
1956 The Politically Correct Wedding Cakes respect Personal Space and the brides are sized up as equal. 1.2727 0.05527 99 77 17 5
1957 Hey dude. Just cuz my cake-hole is at a convenient level, don't get no crazy ideas. 1.2727 0.05240 99 78 16 5
1958 Pro tip, I'm partial to the smear rather than the shove. 1.2727 0.05140 99 75 21 3
1959 We meet again. 1.2727 0.04936 99 74 23 2
1960 If only you had lost the weight she had asked you to do. 1.2727 0.04936 99 74 23 2
1961 I represent your marriage- high hopes, sweet, but is devoured in about two seconds. 1.2727 0.05140 99 75 21 3
1962 I hear my destiny calling. 1.2727 0.05337 99 76 19 4
1963 Sorry, I thought he said ‘forever hold your piece’. 1.2727 0.04936 99 74 23 2
1964 Now where on earth did she go? 1.2727 0.05527 99 77 17 5
1965 Sweetie, it's only funny to jump out when it's a birthday party 1.2727 0.05337 99 76 19 4
1966 Believe it or not, I'm vegan! 1.2727 0.05140 99 75 21 3
1967 This wedding is rigged. 1.2727 0.05527 99 77 17 5
1968 'You surprised? Look in the mirror' 1.2727 0.05527 99 77 17 5
1969 Et tu, Fondant? 1.2727 0.05140 99 75 21 3
1970 I feel the same way. Occasions like this make me tier up. 1.2727 0.04722 99 73 25 1
1971 This is the reminder you set that the first dance is ONE-two-three. 1.2727 0.05337 99 76 19 4
1972 Relax, the reception will be a piece of cake 1.2727 0.04936 99 74 23 2
1973 It’s been a really strange year for both of us... 1.2727 0.05337 99 76 19 4
1974 Really, no one’ll notice you got it starched. 1.2727 0.04936 99 74 23 2
1975 One of us is going to tell her. 1.2727 0.04936 99 74 23 2
1976 Don't worry, it's not my first time either 1.2727 0.05337 99 76 19 4
1977 'there is no punchline here.. this is the line for the cake" 1.2727 0.05337 99 76 19 4
1978 Were you expecting anyone else? 1.2727 0.04936 99 74 23 2
1979 I mean come on Michael, Did you really think having a wedding during a pandemic was a good idea? 1.2727 0.04722 99 73 25 1
1980 Don’t touch me! Or that’s the same thing you’ll hear tonight! 1.2727 0.05140 99 75 21 3
1981 I'm excited to hit the dance floor. 1.2708 0.04794 96 71 24 1
1982 Does this insure to ALWAYS BE ON TOP? 1.2708 0.05437 96 74 18 4
1983 That's my Cousin Don up there with MY bride" 1.2708 0.05635 96 75 16 5
1984 Yes, even the cake reeked of “I told you so” when Lorna stood him up at the alter. 1.2708 0.05437 96 74 18 4
1985 Yes. The cake is bugged. 1.2708 0.05635 96 75 16 5
1986 Freshly baked. Will get moldy in 48 hours if not refrigerated. 1.2708 0.05437 96 74 18 4
1987 Are you a therapist? 1.2708 0.05635 96 75 16 5
1988 Help me! This can't be happening, man! 1.2708 0.05437 96 74 18 4
1989 She's found someone else—thankfully. 1.2708 0.05635 96 75 16 5
1990 How would you feel if you had to stand around with two cupcakes on your head?” 1.2708 0.05017 96 72 22 2
1991 Cold feet? 1.2708 0.05231 96 73 20 3
1992 Whobis thst big guy? I didn't invite him. Did you? 1.2708 0.05437 96 74 18 4
1993 You’ll be divorced within the year. 1.2708 0.06012 96 77 12 7
1994 She won the The Great British Bake Off with this one". 1.2708 0.05437 96 74 18 4
1995 I'm stuck down here but you could still run. 1.2708 0.05231 96 73 20 3
1996 Sorry dude: she hit it off with the baker. 1.2708 0.05826 96 76 14 6
1997 Siri says: This is definitely a mistake. 1.2708 0.05231 96 73 20 3
1998 You embellished a bit on the height. 1.2708 0.05231 96 73 20 3
1999 Larry wondered if Alice had simply settled 1.2708 0.05635 96 75 16 5
2000 I didn’t think she’d get offended when I told her we should each get our own cake 1.2708 0.05635 96 75 16 5
2001 Run before it’s too late! 1.2708 0.05635 96 75 16 5
2002 Have you considered telling her you fondon’t? 1.2708 0.05231 96 73 20 3
2003 Having second thoughts? Yeah, don't blame you. 1.2708 0.05437 96 74 18 4
2004 The pain is overwhelming, but this is the gig of a lifetime. 1.2700 0.05096 100 76 21 3
2005 Got a good one! What food kills a woman’s sex drive? Your sausage. 1.2700 0.05478 100 78 17 5
2006 You're going to wish you spent the extra dough on the 3 year warranty. 1.2700 0.05478 100 78 17 5
2007 Yes, I am a wise and knowledgeable cake. No, you don't want to know how your marriage turns out. 1.2680 0.05584 97 76 16 5
2008 Hey, I'm not Gluten free. 1.2680 0.05185 97 74 20 3
2009 Yes, you must be baked but I am baked too. 1.2680 0.05584 97 76 16 5
2010 This is how it begins. Up there is how it ends. 1.2680 0.05388 97 75 18 4
2011 It'll weigh on your mind, too... 1.2680 0.05773 97 77 14 6
2012 You were doing fine except when you started whispering to the cake. 1.2680 0.05584 97 76 16 5
2013 You are a hideous dancer." 1.2680 0.05584 97 76 16 5
2014 Get out now, man! 1.2680 0.05773 97 77 14 6
2015 I tried to tell you, but you just wouldn't listen...." 1.2680 0.05388 97 75 18 4
2016 Just one bite... No one would know... 1.2680 0.05388 97 75 18 4
2017 If you want I can change her. 1.2673 0.05783 101 81 13 7
2018 It's just you and me cake, for the next 14 days, until she's out of quarantine. 1.2673 0.05430 101 79 17 5
2019 You should've used non-GMO caterers. 1.2660 0.05056 94 71 21 2
2020 Psst! It’s not too late...you can still make a run for it. 1.2660 0.05278 94 72 19 3
2021 Good choice not having a wedding soup. 1.2660 0.05385 94 74 14 5
2022 The sugar rush won't last 1.2660 0.05278 94 72 19 3
2023 Where’s the teeny-tiny pre-nup? 1.2660 0.05892 94 75 13 6
2024 You've been frosted in place since yesterday. How do you suddenly get cold feet? 1.2660 0.05490 94 73 17 4
2025 She left both of us and ran off with the Groom's Cake. 1.2660 0.06083 94 76 11 7
2026 Don’t mention this to the hors d’oeuvres. 1.2660 0.05278 94 72 19 3
2027 Send it back. They are unmasked and not properly distanced. 1.2660 0.05892 94 75 13 6
2028 Does this mean I'm saved? 1.2660 0.05490 94 73 17 4
2029 The long pause combined with the looking up is what killed the moment. But what do I know, I'm a cake. 1.2660 0.05695 94 74 15 5
2030 Have you seen my date? She's vanilla ice cream. 1.2660 0.05278 94 72 19 3
2031 I'm gonna say that breakfast of bachelor party leftovers has finally kicked in. . 1.2660 0.05695 94 74 15 5
2032 What? They say imitation is the highest form of flattery! 1.2660 0.05278 94 72 19 3
2033 I’m not that small, i look nothing like that 1.2660 0.05278 94 72 19 3
2034 These New Yorker caption contests are getting a little out of hand. 1.2660 0.05892 94 75 13 6
2035 Where is the bride, did she dessert you? Stay frosty buddy, she'll tira- miss you soon enough 1.2660 0.05490 94 73 17 4
2036 ...I’m not sure this was the best day to drop acid. 1.2653 0.05340 98 76 18 4
2037 They're still taking pictures 1.2647 0.05200 102 79 19 4
2038 It would be wrong to 1.2637 0.05599 91 71 16 4
2039 Save it for the honeymoon, bud. 1.2637 0.05144 91 69 20 2
2040 You'll have to take it up with the cake boss in the white dress. 1.2637 0.05376 91 70 18 3
2041 Best Man speeches are no piece of cake. 1.2637 0.05144 91 69 20 2
2042 Well,not always a piece of cake. 1.2637 0.05376 91 70 18 3
2043 Wonder if it's too late to ask for gluten free? 1.2637 0.05376 91 70 18 3
2044 I pronounce you stressed-out. 1.2637 0.04901 91 68 22 1
2045 Is it too late to take the cake back? 1.2637 0.04512 91 68 21 1
2046 I told Masterpiece, he's not wearing a wedding dress! 1.2637 0.05144 91 69 20 2
2047 Either I'm pie-eyed or this takes the cake 1.2637 0.05376 91 70 18 3
2048 There was a glitch with the 3D printer 1.2637 0.05376 91 70 18 3
2049 It’s a piece of cake, but a bad match, no matter how you slice it.” 1.2637 0.05144 91 69 20 2
2050 I am a cake to have and to hold - and to eat, too.” Yes, Howard, you can have your cake and eat it too 1.2637 0.05376 91 70 18 3
2051 Careful of the chicken, it maaay cause hallucinations. 1.2637 0.05144 91 69 20 2
2052 The top tier talks a lot of smack and gets all the attention, but people don’t realize how hard I work at weddings. 1.2637 0.05144 91 69 20 2
2053 Pssst. It's me. 1.2632 0.05837 95 76 13 6
2054 Don't cut the cake yet. The bride is having second thoughts. 1.2632 0.05229 95 73 19 3
2055 Prenup. 1.2632 0.05439 95 74 17 4
2056 Eat me or leave me. 1.2632 0.05641 95 75 15 5
2057 Quick, this is your last chance, Take HIM and run! 1.2632 0.05229 95 73 19 3
2058 Perhaps you're having second thoughts? Or just feeling diminished... 1.2632 0.05439 95 74 17 4
2059 You can run but you can’t hide. 1.2632 0.02464 95 75 18 1
2060 Turns out, There’s nothing sweet about this! 1.2632 0.05011 95 72 21 2
2061 Eating me could cause years of second guessing. 1.2632 0.05229 95 73 19 3
2062 By the time you get to me, it will be too late. 1.2632 0.05439 95 74 17 4
2063 Jack. You just got married and need to think about the future! I’m here to tell you how you can have your cake and eat it too 1.2632 0.05011 95 72 21 2
2064 I think you need to lay off the meth now, Bill. 1.2632 0.05837 95 76 13 6
2065 Pssst: Just so you know. I was up there once 1.2632 0.05439 95 74 17 4
2066 I heard her mother plans to use your topper as a voodoo doll. 1.2632 0.05439 95 74 17 4
2067 Why are you pulling a face? Go get your bride. 1.2632 0.04782 95 71 23 1
2068 You looked better in the picture 1.2632 0.04663 95 73 20 2
2069 This is just a dream, pal. 1.2609 0.05096 92 70 20 2
2070 Sorry, George. Since the Religious Freedom Act was passed, I have the right to put this lady on the cake instead of your fiancé, Robert. 1.2609 0.05756 92 73 14 5
2071 Just smile - you already paid for it. 1.2609 0.05325 92 71 18 3
2072 I'm your guardian angel food cake! 1.2609 0.05096 92 70 20 2
2073 Dude! You need to back off and mask up! 1.2609 0.05096 92 70 20 2
2074 Don't make me go under the knife. 1.2609 0.05096 92 70 20 2
2075 You're a free man till you say "I do" but you have to pay for the cake no matter what. 1.2609 0.05096 92 70 20 2
2076 Take the cake... and run 1.2609 0.05325 92 71 18 3
2077 There's layers to this 1.2609 0.05096 92 70 20 2
2078 Mack, My Muse... Can it be true my tender layers shall be smeared, mocked, and wasted? 1.2609 0.04856 92 69 22 1
2079 They do say couples start to look like each other after a while 1.2609 0.05756 92 73 14 5
2080 She’s been telling him to stand still since they pulled the cake out of the oven... 1.2609 0.05325 92 71 18 3
2081 Because of the social distancing protocol, the bride will now join you virtually. 1.2609 0.05096 92 70 20 2
2082 Pssssst...She's been sleeping with the baker. 1.2604 0.05182 96 74 19 3
2083 Hey, could you put on a mask? I don't need to get COVID on top of being sliced to pieces. 1.2604 0.05589 96 76 15 5
2084 Sure, that's you, king of the cake. Today. In about 4 years, you'll be toast. Trust me. 1.2604 0.05389 96 75 17 4
2085 Can you just promise me you won't cut my face? 1.2604 0.05389 96 75 17 4
2086 you think the marriage will last long enough to get to me? 1.2604 0.04966 96 73 21 2
2087 Thanks for having me on your big day. How do I look? Good? 1.2604 0.04966 96 73 21 2
2088 Tony, don’t let getting rejected from the NYT Wedding Announcements ruin your mood today...let your new in-laws do that. 1.2604 0.05589 96 76 15 5
2089 So where’s the other one? Cleaning the icing off her shoes? 1.2604 0.05389 96 75 17 4
2090 Seems that we're missing one key ingredient. 1.2604 0.05589 96 76 15 5
2091 One of these things is not like the other one, one of these things does not belong 1.2604 0.05589 96 76 15 5
2092 I wonder what my father meant by, "Enjoy the piece of cake. After today, you get the whole damn thing." 1.2584 0.04933 89 72 13 4
2093 And he told me it’s a uniquely masculine hair style. 1.2584 0.05426 89 69 17 3
2094 Don't put it in here. 1.2584 0.05185 89 68 19 2
2095 No, I'm not a huge cake, but just tell her that size doesn't matter. 1.2581 0.05275 93 72 18 3
2096 Would you please find these two the “DRINK ME” potion? They are giving me a headache. 1.2581 0.05275 93 72 18 3
2097 Did you get that prenup signed? 1.2581 0.05275 93 72 18 3
2098 Let me OUT!!! 1.2581 0.05701 93 74 14 5
2099 And I'm the pesky ex-husband they buried in the backyard. 1.2581 0.05275 93 72 18 3
2100 Now what ? 1.2581 0.05048 93 71 20 2
2101 I know you want to be a layered personality but you've become a caricature of yourself. 1.2581 0.05492 93 73 16 4
2102 Don't forget to social distance!!!!! 1.2581 0.04017 93 72 18 1
2103 Gee,their feet are cold. 1.2581 0.04811 93 70 22 1
2104 Upon its delivery, Steve was shocked to find out that his wedding cake was actually former lover, Carol the Carrot Cake. 1.2581 0.05048 93 71 20 2
2105 That's as close as you get! 1.2581 0.05275 93 72 18 3
2106 I'm baked in. 1.2581 0.05275 93 72 18 3
2107 Enjoy it while it lasts, kid. It'll all be over before you know it. 1.2581 0.05048 93 71 20 2
2108 Willy, come back to the chocolate factory! Don't go through with this. 1.2581 0.05275 93 72 18 3
2109 ...and the icing on the cake is I'll be sliced to pieces and eaten! 1.2581 0.04811 93 70 22 1
2110 Come look, honey, it's been four hours since the cake delivery guy coughed in his mask. 1.2581 0.05492 93 73 16 4
2111 See. I told you, you CAN have your cake and eat it too! 1.2581 0.05275 93 72 18 3
2112 Can I have one of my migraine pills? 1.2581 0.05048 93 71 20 2
2113 Don't tell anyone you saw me -- I'm the social distance monitor. 1.2581 0.05048 93 71 20 2
2114 This downsizing shit's gone too far. 1.2581 0.05492 93 73 16 4
2115 We're made of candy so he can have his cake and eat us too. 1.2581 0.05492 93 73 16 4
2116 Watching your figure? 1.2581 0.05048 93 71 20 2
2117 I told her I was gluten-free then she just stormed out of the building. 1.2581 0.05048 93 71 20 2
2118 You can't have your cake and eat it too, because a wedding is not a marriage. 1.2581 0.05275 93 72 18 3
2119 Freeze! 1.2581 0.05701 93 74 14 5
2120 Poor guy.. she's already complaining! 1.2581 0.05492 93 73 16 4
2121 Uh, oh. Here comes the groom. 1.2581 0.05275 93 72 18 3
2122 If I were a four-tier cake, you would have sealed the deal, you jilted cheapskate. 1.2581 0.04811 93 70 22 1
2123 Your lips are stuck together! 1.2581 0.05701 93 74 14 5
2124 Get out while you still have time! 1.2581 0.05701 93 74 14 5
2125 I may be only a cake, but I'm plenty woke, and I'm telling you that little people have just as much right to get married as big people. 1.2581 0.05275 93 72 18 3
2126 Now remember, after you cut me, shove me in her face. 1.2581 0.05701 93 74 14 5
2127 If you still need a best man, I’m available. 1.2581 0.05492 93 73 16 4
2128 I can see and speak, but don't expect me to listen! 1.2581 0.05275 93 72 18 3
2129 Yes, you actually do look that dumbfounded all the time. 1.2581 0.05275 93 72 18 3
2130 When I promised to support their marriage, this is not what I had in mind. 1.2581 0.05492 93 73 16 4
2131 You can't have your cake AND Edith too! 1.2581 0.04562 93 69 24 0
2132 It's not too late to cancel your cake order. 1.2581 0.05701 93 74 14 5
2133 I realize it’s precarious.. 1.2581 0.04811 93 70 22 1
2134 Dude, we go to the same barber! 1.2581 0.04562 93 69 24 0
2135 And you never learned who she voted for? 1.2581 0.05275 93 72 18 3
2136 She just couldn't tolerate a guy who talks to inanimate objects. 1.2581 0.05275 93 72 18 3
2137 Well, maybe she’s just social distancing? 1.2581 0.05048 93 71 20 2
2138 Listen, I’m not going home with you if you didn’t get tested” 1.2581 0.05275 93 72 18 3
2139 You time travelled back to your parents' wedding. We both got explaining to do. 1.2581 0.04811 93 70 22 1
2140 Your figurine is more handsome. 1.2581 0.05048 93 71 20 2
2141 I don't... I don't... I concede nothing 1.2581 0.04562 93 69 24 0
2142 Did I miss the flour toss? 1.2581 0.05492 93 73 16 4
2143 You mean it won't be different for me? 1.2556 0.05135 90 69 19 2
2144 Dude, eating a birthday cake alone is sad, but a wedding cake ... that's cuts me to pieces. 1.2556 0.06030 90 73 11 6
2145 Let's hope your marriage is build on sturdier foundations than my spongy interior. 1.2556 0.05373 90 70 17 3
2146 Everything is a tier system these days 1.2556 0.05373 90 70 17 3
2147 I'll be here tomorrow. It's a small reception. 1.2556 0.05373 90 70 17 3
2148 I am just desserts, making America Cake Again! 1.2556 0.05373 90 70 17 3
2149 Well, technically, if you're not married yet, it's not adultery... 1.2556 0.05255 90 71 14 4
2150 Slice the top piece in half and watch the fun! 1.2556 0.05135 90 69 19 2
2151 . . . Or, you could spare your honeymoon from talk of love handles and diarrhea. 1.2556 0.05819 90 72 13 5
2152 If you're looking for your car keys, they're my pull charm. 1.2556 0.05600 90 71 15 4
2153 Look at us. A couple of bottom feeders. 1.2556 0.05819 90 72 13 5
2154 Pssst. Go ahead. Forever hold you piece. 1.2556 0.05135 90 69 19 2
2155 Make up your mind; keep me, eat me. 1.2556 0.05373 90 70 17 3
2156 Great celebration! I am half-baked. 1.2556 0.05373 90 70 17 3
2157 I’ll have the salmon. 1.2556 0.05819 90 72 13 5
2158 She told me to keep you away from me. 1.2556 0.04886 90 68 21 1
2159 No, dancing girls would have been inappropriate. 1.2556 0.06030 90 73 11 6
2160 Don't look now but the best man may be right behind you and he looks like he's hungry. 1.2556 0.05373 90 70 17 3
2161 She sent for an Uber. 1.2556 0.05373 90 70 17 3
2162 everyone gets to take a layer home. 1.2556 0.04886 90 68 21 1
2163 I won't tell anyone that I got it in March 2020. 1.2556 0.04886 90 68 21 1
2164 Not that anyone cares, but I ordered the fish. 1.2556 0.05135 90 69 19 2
2165 I tell you, it’s now or never - knock her off! 1.2556 0.05373 90 70 17 3
2166 You weren’t ‘gluten intolerant’ last night. 1.2556 0.05600 90 71 15 4
2167 Doing mushrooms at your own wedding, well, I must say it takes the cake! 1.2556 0.05373 90 70 17 3
2168 I get it, it's a big day and you're nervous and having second thoughts, but trust me...chocolate ganache will change your life! 1.2556 0.05135 90 69 19 2
2169 Is that three tiers? Or three tears? 1.2556 0.05373 90 70 17 3
2170 So I decided to do a twist on those, "It looks like a person but it's really a cake" videos. 1.2556 0.05819 90 72 13 5
2171 Before my son-in-law, I used to smile too. 1.2556 0.05600 90 71 15 4
2172 Will you pass me my fondant mask? 1.2556 0.05373 90 70 17 3
2173 I'm all sugar—I wasn't made with love. 1.2556 0.05600 90 71 15 4
2174 Hope you like coconut! 1.2556 0.05373 90 70 17 3
2175 Let me tell you about the different layers of relationships. 1.2556 0.04886 90 68 21 1
2176 I'm warning you, marriage is sweet but bitter. Take it from me, I'm a lemon tart. 1.2556 0.05373 90 70 17 3
2177 Sorry, I may be a fruitcake but I’m not dressed for your same-sex nuptials. 1.2556 0.05373 90 70 17 3
2178 Save me! Take me away from all of this! 1.2556 0.05373 90 70 17 3
2179 She makes you look fat. 1.2556 0.05373 90 70 17 3
2180 They said they wanted a cake with a personality. 1.2556 0.05600 90 71 15 4
2181 They do? 1.2556 0.05600 90 71 15 4
2182 Please feed the band, otherwise they may eat me. 1.2556 0.05819 90 72 13 5
2183 One down, two to go........ 1.2556 0.04048 90 75 11 4
2184 And I thought the television was the only thing that added 10 pounds. 1.2556 0.04757 90 70 18 2
2185 Okay, last chance: Are you sure? 1.2556 0.05135 90 69 19 2
2186 Yes, Greg, I actually was calling your name. 1.2556 0.05135 90 68 19 2
2187 I suggest you lay off the sauce till I disappear. 1.2556 0.05600 90 71 15 4
2188 Sure, she left you at the altar, but look on the bright side. Now you don't have to write any "Thank You" notes. 1.2556 0.05373 90 70 17 3
2189 At least she didn’t run off with your brother like the last one. 1.2556 0.05600 90 71 15 4
2190 Covid Playback Wedding Cake "I'll record your vows, then send in the bride and I'll record hers. Return to isolation booths for next set of instructions." 1.2556 0.05600 90 71 15 4
2191 Remember the apple 1.2556 0.05373 90 70 17 3
2192 I'm in here. That guy on top is an imposter! 1.2556 0.05819 90 72 13 5
2193 It’s go time. You want a piece of me? 1.2556 0.05135 90 69 19 2
2194 Sorry dude, she ran away with the caterer. 1.2556 0.06233 90 74 9 7
2195 She never mentioned the inheritance? 1.2556 0.05373 90 70 17 3
2196 I warned you - it’ll all end in tiers. 1.2556 0.05600 90 71 15 4
2197 You know I taste even better virtually. 1.2556 0.05135 90 69 19 2
2198 Oh sh*t, they got the hair backwards. 1.2556 0.05135 90 69 19 2
2199 I am inside, honey 1.2556 0.05600 90 71 15 4
2200 When Covid baking turns into recreating your wedding cake and then having a long talk with it about where things went wrong 1.2556 0.05373 90 70 17 3
2201 You can't eat it too 1.2556 0.06030 90 73 11 6
2202 It's like looking in a mirror 1.2556 0.05373 90 70 17 3
2203 I dare you to smear a piece of me all over her face! 1.2556 0.04886 90 68 21 1
2204 Hello, I am a hologram cake for you Zoom wedding ! 1.2556 0.05373 90 70 17 3
2205 You are standing way too close to me 1.2556 0.05819 90 72 13 5
2206 I would be an ugly action figure. 1.2556 0.04886 90 68 21 1
2207 Did you really think you could have your cake and eat it? 1.2556 0.05373 90 70 17 3
2208 No, it’s not that he’s bigger than you, it’s about the way he makes me feel. 1.2556 0.05600 90 71 15 4
2209 I know its a little meta, but in a multi-verse i imagine you could be marrying a human and not a cake." 1.2556 0.05373 90 70 17 3
2210 If you cut into me I'm actually brisket and potatoes 1.2556 0.05600 90 71 15 4
2211 Flour is still scarce during this pandemic, so I'm made of lima beans and hot chocolate mix. 1.2556 0.04886 90 68 21 1
2212 Hey there,Cupcake. 1.2553 0.05440 94 74 16 4
2213 After landing her sugar daddy, this wedding's just icing on the cake. 1.2553 0.05440 94 74 16 4
2214 Whoa, I thought this was supposed to be a Bar Mitzvah 1.2553 0.05647 94 75 14 5
2215 If you want my advice, you’re better off with the top tier. 1.2553 0.05647 94 75 14 5
2216 Your fly is open 1.2553 0.05440 94 74 16 4
2217 I was just as surprised! 1.2553 0.05647 94 75 14 5
2218 Where are the masks, where is the social distancing - this cake is so 2019! 1.2553 0.05002 94 72 20 2
2219 Who invited you? 1.2553 0.05440 94 74 16 4
2220 Tradition or not, it's inhumane. 1.2553 0.05226 94 73 18 3
2221 Sorry about the social distancing between you two - the chef ran out of marzipan. 1.2553 0.05440 94 74 16 4
2222 She left with her cousin saying something about “ once you had pumpkin pie , who needs layer cake?” 1.2553 0.05440 94 74 16 4
2223 So, what’s next? A baby? 1.2553 0.05226 94 73 18 3
2224 Plus One" on the invitation did not mean you, Bob 1.2551 0.04878 98 75 21 2
2225 Her over me??? 1.2529 0.05226 87 67 18 2
2226 Cake talker talks the talk! 1.2529 0.05944 87 70 12 5
2227 They’re not real, but nothing is these days. By the way, wear's your mask? 1.2529 0.05944 87 70 12 5
2228 I must be getting the pre wedding, cake-face seeing, gitters 1.2529 0.05476 87 68 16 3
2229 Man, lighten up. The top tier is raspberry, the middle tier is chocolate, and the bottom tier is, well, the rest of me. 1.2529 0.05944 87 70 12 5
2230 The base is inching to the right. 1.2529 0.05715 87 69 14 4
2231 Remind me again why this cake costs so much. 1.2529 0.05226 87 67 18 2
2232 Well ain’t I just the icing on the cake. 1.2529 0.05715 87 69 14 4
2233 Our Wedding Cake foe 2020 ..without masks! 1.2527 0.05086 91 70 19 2
2234 If you rotate your hair 35 degrees clockwise...... 1.2527 0.05546 91 72 15 4
2235 Let's FaceTime later. 1.2527 0.05321 91 71 17 3
2236 It’s me, grandma 1.2527 0.05086 91 70 19 2
2237 They're not safe distancing! Do Something! 1.2527 0.04840 91 69 21 1
2238 Are you picturing me naked? 1.2527 0.05086 91 70 19 2
2239 I'll let you have a quick lick but that's all. 1.2527 0.05762 91 73 13 5
2240 Looks like I’m not the only thing going in the brides mouth tonight huh? 1.2527 0.05546 91 72 15 4
2241 This isn’t what I had in mind when I suggested downsizing! 1.2527 0.04840 91 69 21 1
2242 Do you think that maybe you took your quarantine baking too far this time? 1.2527 0.05762 91 73 13 5
2243 Run while you still can. 1.2527 0.05086 91 70 19 2
2244 Uh-oh, here comes throuple. 1.2526 0.04605 95 73 19 2
2245 Look closer, it's your best friend. 1.2500 0.05421 88 69 16 3
2246 If this falls thru, I’ll be trashed. 1.2500 0.05175 88 68 18 2
2247 Oh no! The cake is telling me not to do it! 1.2500 0.05421 88 69 16 3
2248 You survived a straight wedding and all you got was this lousy cake. 1.2500 0.05421 88 69 16 3
2249 I'm just wondering if the only "little woman" you'll be able to keep is the one atop me. 1.2500 0.05883 88 71 12 5
2250 'Til hunger do us part. 1.2500 0.05421 88 69 16 3
2251 Well my love. Getting downs' the problem 1.2500 0.05175 88 68 18 2
2252 I'm full of sugar, dairy and gluten... 1.2500 0.04199 88 72 13 3
2253 They lied. I'm not kosher. 1.2500 0.05421 88 69 16 3
2254 This is my first heterosexual marriage of 2020; it’s kind of boring. 1.2500 0.05175 88 68 18 2
2255 I know she doesn't look like you okay? 1.2500 0.05421 88 69 16 3
2256 I'm sorry, but you're strictly second-tier. 1.2500 0.05421 88 69 16 3
2257 Easy one! You should walk now before it's too late. 1.2500 0.05175 88 68 18 2
2258 Your cold feet I can deal with; but those heels... 1.2500 0.05175 88 68 18 2
2259 She heard me call you babycakes, didn't she? 1.2500 0.05657 88 70 14 4
2260 Mariage is not a piece of cake Randy 1.2500 0.03523 88 70 17 1
2261 How do you expect me to be still edible in 14 days? 1.2500 0.05421 88 69 16 3
2262 She get lost in the mail? 1.2500 0.05175 88 68 18 2
2263 More for me, I guess. 1.2500 0.05038 92 71 19 2
2264 Darn I forgot to make the cake gluten free 1.2500 0.05421 88 69 16 3
2265 This is the last time I sugar coat it for you. 1.2472 0.05367 89 70 16 3
2266 Brace yourself. 1.2472 0.05367 89 70 16 3
2267 This lack of social distancing is making me very anxious, I’m afraid it might affect the frosting. 1.2472 0.05124 89 69 18 2
2268 Hi, I’m the ‘I sing’ on the cake. 1.2471 0.05527 85 67 15 3
2269 So it turns out that you're not getting the bride - or the cake you rode in on. 1.2471 0.05268 85 66 17 2
2270 Hey, man — I know they said what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas but we really gotta talk before you go through with this. 1.2471 0.04995 85 65 19 1
2271 I could make you happy EVERY night, Bill 1.2471 0.05527 85 67 15 3
2272 Would you scratch my back? 1.2471 0.05527 85 67 15 3
2273 Apparently, she enjoyed the laughter but the tiers were more than she could handle. 1.2471 0.05268 85 66 17 2
2274 You cannot have the cake and eat it 1.2471 0.04995 85 65 19 1
2275 Don't ask. I got a lot on my mind. 1.2471 0.04995 85 65 19 1
2276 The lady's made her choice, pal. 1.2471 0.05527 85 67 15 3
2277 Having representation atop the cake does not insure domestic tranquility. 1.2471 0.05268 85 66 17 2
2278 This cake is so not vegan. 1.2471 0.05527 85 67 15 3
2279 Hi Buddy, I'm your new digital wedding cake.....GPS, Internet, Email..... 1.2471 0.05527 85 67 15 3
2280 Don’t worry! It’s a piece of cake...” 1.2471 0.05527 85 67 15 3
2281 You want a piece of me?" the wedding cake said. Bryan backed away 1.2471 0.05527 85 67 15 3
2282 Shouldn’t you be wearing a mask to match that tux? Be 6ft away from me!!! 1.2471 0.05268 85 66 17 2
2283 One must imagine the husband happy 1.2471 0.05268 85 66 17 2
2284 I now pronounce you... financially entangled! 1.2471 0.05775 85 68 13 4
2285 If this union of ours is going to work, you need to accept that you can't have your cake and eat it too. 1.2442 0.05214 86 67 17 2
2286 If you eat me now, you can have the bride before your wedding night 1.2442 0.05470 86 68 15 3
2287 Please put yourself six inches from the bride on top to comply with "to scale" rules. 1.2442 0.04660 86 65 21 0
2288 Nobody is eating cake tonight... 1.2442 0.05470 86 68 15 3
2289 She’s telling him she’s fallen for the Gingerbread Man. 1.2442 0.05470 86 68 15 3
2290 What the...that stupid little cake maker, I told him no advertising! 1.2442 0.05715 86 69 13 4
2291 Psst. Don't tell the two up top I'm vegan. 1.2442 0.05214 86 67 17 2
2292 Yes, I distinctly heard you ask for two grooms. 1.2442 0.04660 86 65 21 0
2293 That chick is hot. I hope she does not melt the icing. 1.2442 0.05470 86 68 15 3
2294 Psst! It's not going well. He just told her to go make him a sammich. 1.2442 0.05214 86 67 17 2
2295 I ate the bride. Get over it. 1.2442 0.05214 86 67 17 2
2296 Separated, already---or just, "social distancing" ? 1.2442 0.05214 86 67 17 2
2297 Bride not included 1.2442 0.05715 86 69 13 4
2298 You're having a wedding in 2020 so please don't act surprised." 1.2442 0.04945 86 66 19 1
2299 Spoiler alert: She loves cake more! 1.2442 0.05214 86 67 17 2
2300 I probably shouldn't be telling you this, but he only married her because you really wanted her. 1.2442 0.05949 86 70 11 5
2301 Darn,I forgot my mask. 1.2442 0.05715 86 69 13 4
2302 WHAT'S GIULIANI DOING UP THERE? 1.2442 0.05715 86 69 13 4
2303 Don't you just love a threesome? 1.2442 0.04030 86 68 16 1
2304 I was really hoping for a gay wedding. 1.2442 0.05214 86 67 17 2
2305 I am sorry. I cannot become your bride, but you can say 'Alexa, get me a wedding cake.' 1.2442 0.05470 86 68 15 3
2306 And then she said “Which way to the bus station?” 1.2442 0.05214 86 67 17 2
2307 I give em six weeks. 1.2442 0.05470 86 68 15 3
2308 Embellishing your Tinder profile was your first mistake. 1.2442 0.04945 86 66 19 1
2309 Sorry buddy, no one’s jumping out this time. Jessica Meth, Larchmont, NY 1.2442 0.05470 86 68 15 3
2310 Hey, buddy. You better wash those hands before trying to dip a finger in my frosting! 1.2442 0.05715 86 69 13 4
2311 I'm sorry they got the hair all wrong. 1.2442 0.05214 86 67 17 2
2312 It's no longer your job to give instructions on how to cut the cake. 1.2442 0.04945 86 66 19 1
2313 Pretty sweet dance moves. 1.2442 0.05949 86 70 11 5
2314 Dear God, stop, please, oh please stop don't do it, you maniac, don't pick up that knife, please. 1.2442 0.05715 86 69 13 4
2315 The shelter in place cake is going through some bumpy roads. 1.2442 0.04945 86 66 19 1
2316 Help me! I'm afraid of knives! 1.2442 0.05715 86 69 13 4
2317 Cake AND suit from Costco? Classy! 1.2442 0.05470 86 68 15 3
2318 Bake it and she will come" they told me... 1.2442 0.05470 86 68 15 3
2319 Whatever you're gonna do, do it fast ... my fondant is starting to melt. 1.2442 0.05470 86 68 15 3
2320 Now is the time to run away! 1.2442 0.05715 86 69 13 4
2321 Thiri, the intelligent personal assistant for all your future couples therapy needs " 1.2442 0.05214 86 67 17 2
2322 Tell my sweetie pie I'll always love her. 1.2442 0.04945 86 66 19 1
2323 No, this is their wedding. You're just human ornamentation. 1.2442 0.05715 86 69 13 4
2324 What, you've never heard of a talking cake before? 1.2442 0.05214 86 67 17 2
2325 Delve deep enough and you'll find something weird. 1.2442 0.04945 86 66 19 1
2326 I’m not going to be the one to tell her ! 1.2442 0.05470 86 68 15 3
2327 I thought the social distancing cake would be less depressing 1.2442 0.05470 86 68 15 3
2328 If you didn’t want such an opinionated cake, you should have went with the fondant. 1.2442 0.05715 86 69 13 4
2329 Sure, we’ll both wind up being some stranger’s bad decision tonight, but buddy, at least I won’t have to think about it in the morning. 1.2442 0.05214 86 67 17 2
2330 Now that I see us, I don't like the way we look together 1.2442 0.05214 86 67 17 2
2331 You know what they say, always the cake & never the bouquet. 1.2442 0.04945 86 66 19 1
2332 Upon returning to his office Sal suddenly remembered what he forgot to take home in Feb. 1.2442 0.04945 86 66 19 1
2333 Tuxedo! It's me, Cake, from Party University! Go, Paper Plates! 1.2442 0.05214 86 67 17 2
2334 'Its comforting to know that my death will bring you joy. Many happy returns.' 1.2442 0.05214 86 67 17 2
2335 Well, the third time’s a charm. Right? 1.2442 0.05470 86 68 15 3
2336 I can’t see my OtherHalf 1.2442 0.04945 86 66 19 1
2337 Honey, I'm in here! 1.2414 0.05656 87 70 13 4
2338 Second to the left, down the aisle. Mind the step. 1.2414 0.04895 87 67 19 1
2339 I've actually got a side hustle at a bat mitzvah later, so if we can hurry this up, that'd be great. 1.2414 0.05414 87 69 15 3
2340 Oh no, I ordered a gay themed wedding cake. 1.2414 0.05414 87 69 15 3
2341 Honey - sourdough, really? 1.2414 0.05161 87 68 17 2
2342 I guess this means you won’t be blowing me. 1.2414 0.05887 87 71 11 5
2343 Get used to waiting. 1.2410 0.05024 83 64 18 1
2344 She saw something in the little guy, what can I say. 1.2410 0.05024 83 64 18 1
2345 It felt like a small victory. 1.2410 0.06083 83 68 10 5
2346 I think we should see other people. 1.2410 0.05579 83 66 14 3
2347 In 2020, he was sad to learn that even his enthusiasm might be contagious. 1.2410 0.05579 83 66 14 3
2348 Is that your mother-in-law??? 1.2410 0.05836 83 67 12 4
2349 KILLLL MEEEEE,” hissed the cake 1.2410 0.05579 83 66 14 3
2350 When you make love to your wife tonight, you will taste me in her mouth. I want you to remember that. I want you to think of me. 1.2410 0.05579 83 66 14 3
2351 Ask the DJ to play 'Pour Some Sugar on Me'" 1.2410 0.05579 83 66 14 3
2352 She looks nicer on the cake 1.2410 0.05579 83 66 14 3
2353 It’s a cruel world that forces me to take part in the patriarchal institution of marriage. Just eat me already, I can’t take it. 1.2410 0.05836 83 67 12 4
2354 Yikes, little cake people. 1.2410 0.05579 83 66 14 3
2355 Go find a cake your own size! 1.2410 0.05309 83 65 16 2
2356 The wedding was so beautiful, that even I broke out into tiers." Tom Walsh Los Angele 1.2410 0.05579 83 66 14 3
2357 Alexa thinks you should rethink this life altering decision. 1.2410 0.05309 83 65 16 2
2358 Hearing The Truth Too Late! 1.2410 0.05309 83 65 16 2
2359 Be original and eat the top layer today. 1.2410 0.05024 83 64 18 1
2360 Brady! Alexa here - in the Wedding Cake! Your fiancée, Brandi, has run out on marrying you today or, as she bellowed, "any day between now and Doomsday!" Shall I play her full rant now or shall I archive it for later? 1.2410 0.05836 83 67 12 4
2361 Ten bucks and you can taste it. Twenty and you can bite. Fifty to go all the way. Just don't make a mess of my decorations. 1.2410 0.05579 83 66 14 3
2362 You must now be regretting taking the LSD at your bachelor party. 1.2410 0.05579 83 66 14 3
2363 They wanted a small wedding. 1.2410 0.05309 83 65 16 2
2364 This one didn't show either? 1.2410 0.05579 83 66 14 3
2365 Oh! The wonders you will see before you get to me. 1.2410 0.05024 83 64 18 1
2366 You think it's gonna last buddy? Bite me! 1.2410 0.05024 83 64 18 1
2367 Are you sure? 1.2410 0.05309 83 65 16 2
2368 We won't be this close again until the vaccine becomes available 1.2410 0.05024 83 64 18 1
2369 Everyone else in the wedding party is in quarantine, so… looks like it’s just you and me, pal. 1.2410 0.05309 83 65 16 2
2370 Cash their check quick—they are already separating. 1.2410 0.05836 83 67 12 4
2371 Due to social distancing, this is as close as you'll be for awhile. 1.2410 0.05579 83 66 14 3
2372 Frank suddenly realized that it takes two to have a marriage. 1.2410 0.05579 83 66 14 3
2373 Due to Covid, only the top layer isn't styrofoam. 1.2410 0.05579 83 66 14 3
2374 I talked to the floor. I have it easier. 1.2410 0.05579 83 66 14 3
2375 I'm the fortune cookie's big brother - the misfortune cake. 1.2410 0.05309 83 65 16 2
2376 Sorry man, but she told you she wanted to keep it small. 1.2410 0.05024 83 64 18 1
2377 What're you lookin' at ? You don't want a piece of me. 1.2410 0.04723 83 63 20 0
2378 It's bad luck to cut the wedding cake. 1.2410 0.05579 83 66 14 3
2379 In my world you are not a big deal. 1.2410 0.05024 83 64 18 1
2380 Taste of my flesh so that the ritual bonding may be complete. 1.2410 0.05309 83 65 16 2
2381 Roses are red violets are blue the Bridal couple is gone soon you'll be too. 1.2410 0.04723 83 63 20 0
2382 She has a thing for your best man. 1.2410 0.05309 83 65 16 2
2383 Just remember, you can't eat your cake and have it too. 1.2410 0.05579 83 66 14 3
2384 Save a piece for me. 1.2410 0.04723 83 63 20 0
2385 She left. Something about the ‘worst first date of her life.’ 1.2410 0.04723 83 63 20 0
2386 Do these make me look fat? 1.2410 0.05309 83 65 16 2
2387 Save me for your first anniversary, if your marriage survives. 1.2410 0.05309 83 65 16 2
2388 Don’t even think about it! Photos first. 1.2410 0.05579 83 66 14 3
2389 What's another layer? 1.2410 0.05309 83 65 16 2
2390 If you’re going to cry during the ceremony, remember: only three tiers 1.2410 0.05579 83 66 14 3
2391 HELP! Your bride's high heels are giving me a headache 1.2410 0.05579 83 66 14 3
2392 When you cut me, make it quick, or I-scream 1.2410 0.05168 83 67 13 3
2393 No worries, this gig is a cakewalk. 1.2410 0.05309 83 65 16 2
2394 C,mon man, you’re talking to a wedding cake! You know that means it’s time to go back on your meds. 1.2410 0.05309 83 65 16 2
2395 Your divorce is baked in. 1.2410 0.05309 83 65 16 2
2396 Yeah this will put you back about $75,000 and the cake topper that looks like you $5,000. Enjoy! 1.2410 0.05309 83 65 16 2
2397 Might be a good time to come out ... 1.2410 0.05309 83 65 16 2
2398 I'm the bottom layer: the emotional baggage figurine. 1.2410 0.05309 83 65 16 2
2399 I hope that's not the cake mom was baking. 1.2410 0.05309 83 65 16 2
2400 Trust me, Gary. Every bride LOVES having the cake smashed in her face and it makes for the best pictures. DO IT (said in demonic voice). 1.2410 0.05836 83 67 12 4
2401 Trust me. You can't have your cake and eat it too. 1.2410 0.05024 83 64 18 1
2402 The ceremony was so beautiful it had me in tiers. 1.2410 0.05836 83 67 12 4
2403 Eat me now & lose her forever. 1.2410 0.05168 83 67 13 3
2404 Help me. I am a left over from the bachelor party 1.2410 0.05309 83 65 16 2
2405 Quick: What was her name? 1.2410 0.05579 83 66 14 3
2406 We have to stop meeting like this. 1.2410 0.04723 83 63 20 0
2407 Cut the cake and there’s no going back! 1.2410 0.05024 83 64 18 1
2408 I'm telling them the bottom two tiers of their cake are as fake as your cheap toupee! 1.2410 0.05309 83 65 16 2
2409 I give this marriage six months, tops. 1.2410 0.05309 83 65 16 2
2410 The fondant never goes bad, you can use me again for your next "seems like a good idea" nuptials. 1.2410 0.05309 83 65 16 2
2411 Oh shoot, did you order a vegan cake? 1.2410 0.05024 83 64 18 1
2412 Hey, cheer up. Maybe third time lucky. 1.2410 0.05309 83 65 16 2
2413 You’re in it up to your knees in the icing on the cake. 1.2410 0.05309 83 65 16 2
2414 You expected the East River, Kid 1.2410 0.06083 83 68 10 5
2415 Ditch him. He's way too big for you. 1.2410 0.05024 83 64 18 1
2416 I thought it would look more like me." "I 1.2410 0.05579 83 66 14 3
2417 You think this is going to be a piece of cake ? 1.2410 0.05309 83 65 16 2
2418 Here in Soviet Russia, cake cuts you 1.2410 0.05579 83 66 14 3
2419 They're arguing already. She's sayin' to him, 'fondant?' What the hell is 'fondant?' I ordered butter cream?" 1.2410 0.05579 83 66 14 3
2420 She won't think I taste so good when she finds out he's already married. 1.2410 0.05836 83 67 12 4
2421 I’d like to give you a piece of my mind.” 1.2410 0.04723 83 63 20 0
2422 Quick, make a run for it before the psilocybin wears off! 1.2410 0.05579 83 66 14 3
2423 he still swears he’s two inches taller 1.2410 0.05024 83 64 18 1
2424 Modern Love Takes The Cake! 1.2410 0.05309 83 65 16 2
2425 Dude,I think I found the missing frosting. 1.2410 0.05579 83 66 14 3
2426 Sorry, I haven't seen her! 1.2410 0.05579 83 66 14 3
2427 Not now! Not here! Not Ever!! 1.2410 0.05579 83 66 14 3
2428 Have you got a prenup? 1.2410 0.05579 83 66 14 3
2429 What was younger you thinking? 1.2410 0.05309 83 65 16 2
2430 She isn't even big-busted anymore. 1.2410 0.05579 83 66 14 3
2431 Run! run! and don't stop to zoom! You don't want to be a gingerbread groom! 1.2410 0.05579 83 66 14 3
2432 I suppose you could say they're taking a stand 1.2410 0.05024 83 64 18 1
2433 Beware! It’s a trap! 1.2410 0.05024 83 64 18 1
2434 I shouldn't have fasted to fit into my wedding tux...Now the cake is talking to me. 1.2410 0.05309 83 65 16 2
2435 Gluten Free is your last free choice. 1.2410 0.05309 83 65 16 2
2436 Whoever that is up there it ain't you. 1.2410 0.05579 83 66 14 3
2437 It's not too late to reconsider. 1.2410 0.05024 83 64 18 1
2438 Your love proved to be worlds apart. 1.2410 0.05309 83 65 16 2
2439 And then they asked me whether I wanted to be in the wedding party..... 1.2410 0.05579 83 66 14 3
2440 What can I say? You just weren’t on her level. 1.2410 0.05309 83 65 16 2
2441 I hope the groom isn't to scale 1.2410 0.05579 83 66 14 3
2442 You have every right to eat me on your wedding day. But I’m asking you not to. 1.2410 0.05579 83 66 14 3
2443 You see, you can't have your Kate and eat her too! 1.2410 0.06083 83 68 10 5
2444 I bet you'll still want me after you marry HER. 1.2410 0.05024 83 64 18 1
2445 She left after her mother said, “a moment on the lips, forever on the hips” applies to more than just cake. 1.2410 0.05579 83 66 14 3
2446 This wedding is a lie, and you know it. 1.2410 0.05579 83 66 14 3
2447 She left with the maid of honor, said she decided she prefers pie. 1.2410 0.05309 83 65 16 2
2448 Now, That's what You call a Little Man... 1.2410 0.05309 83 65 16 2
2449 You can’t have your cake and eat it too - even when you’re on top of it. 1.2410 0.05309 83 65 16 2
2450 What is the cake trying to tell me? 1.2410 0.05024 83 64 18 1
2451 She doesn't love you the way she loves me. 1.2410 0.05836 83 67 12 4
2452 Can you please tell your brother to get off my back? 1.2410 0.05024 83 64 18 1
2453 Altogether now, let's sing, 'time to choose, time to lose, happy hook-ups. 1.2410 0.05309 83 65 16 2
2454 Left at the altar? Go on, shed a tier! 1.2410 0.05309 83 64 16 2
2455 When I count to 3, jump and run. 1.2410 0.05024 83 64 18 1
2456 oh she was here, yeah, but, uh, uh... we gotta talk 1.2410 0.05309 83 65 16 2
2457 Yes dear. 1.2410 0.05836 83 67 12 4
2458 Mask? I thought you said mascarpone! 1.2410 0.05024 83 64 18 1
2459 I guess when you asked her to be your plus one, she was wasn’t expecting this. 1.2410 0.05579 83 66 14 3
2460 Data suggest decent chance the groom will be at your singles’ table in a couple years. 1.2410 0.05309 83 65 16 2
2461 Uh-oh. How do you want to go about it? They don’t have a return policy. 1.2410 0.05309 83 65 16 2
2462 What do you mean you didn’t order the voodoo cake? 1.2410 0.05579 83 66 14 3
2463 Loading...please wait for host to let you in. 1.2410 0.05836 83 67 12 4
2464 You’re an enigma wrapped in a wedding cake. 1.2410 0.05836 83 67 12 4
2465 Maybe I’ll go hike the Appalachian Trail instead. 1.2410 0.05579 83 66 14 3
2466 Well i hope this is going to be a piece of cake 1.2410 0.05024 83 64 18 1
2467 Your feet are digging into my scalp. 1.2410 0.05309 83 65 16 2
2468 More cake news 1.2410 0.05579 83 66 14 3
2469 Hubert realizes his attempt to make a face out of the mark he made tasting the frosting isn't going to cut it. 1.2410 0.05309 83 65 16 2
2470 If you don't come, I don't eat you! 1.2410 0.05579 83 66 14 3
2471 I hope your marriage last longer than the sugar rush 1.2410 0.05836 83 67 12 4
2472 they've got a better relationship than I do!! 1.2410 0.05309 83 65 16 2
2473 Did you get the zoom invite? 1.2410 0.05309 83 65 16 2
2474 If you want, you could try freeze me in case she comes back? 1.2410 0.05579 83 66 14 3
2475 My remains will be forgotten in the bottom of your freezer, so don’t talk to me about YOUR cold feet. 1.2410 0.05024 83 64 18 1
2476 You canceled the wedding, but you didn't cancel the order for the cake? 1.2410 0.05836 83 67 12 4
2477 Did you know cakes are like ogres? 1.2410 0.05309 83 65 16 2
2478 They wouldn’t let you in without a mask either, huh? 1.2410 0.05579 83 66 14 3
2479 My, how you’ve grown! 1.2410 0.05579 83 66 14 3
2480 Trust me, Trumps concession will be the icing on the cake 1.2410 0.05579 83 66 14 3
2481 Did you see that movie "American Pie?" 1.2410 0.05836 83 67 12 4
2482 Oh, I see how it is. You’re just going to cut me up and keep me in the back of the freezer until you’ve forgotten I exist. 1.2410 0.05579 83 66 14 3
2483 Hey buddy, like your mother said: 'No touching!' 1.2410 0.05309 83 65 16 2
2484 ...and that’s why, unlike your marriage, I’ll always be sweet 1.2410 0.04723 83 63 20 0
2485 Are you sure you don’t want to run away with me? Marriage is not a piece of cake. 1.2386 0.05598 88 71 13 4
2486 I wished to be the center of attention at a wedding. 1.2386 0.05359 88 70 15 3
2487 Don't look at me like I'm just a piece. 1.2381 0.05519 84 67 14 3
2488 Do or do not. Yes or no. In or out. Left or right. Red or white. Have me or eat me. 1.2381 0.05519 84 67 14 3
2489 Just because your figure is on top doesn't mean there still isn't time for you to turn and run! 1.2381 0.04972 84 65 18 1
2490 What better way to begin your new life together than to introduce your bride to a talking cake? 1.2381 0.04972 84 65 18 1
2491 I'm the only food that lowers a women's libido 1.2381 0.05519 84 67 14 3
2492 Psst. She's not a virgin! 1.2381 0.05773 84 68 12 4
2493 May I suggest your third wish is for an actual wife? 1.2381 0.06017 84 69 10 5
2494 Bad idea to trip the day of your wedding, Mike. 1.2381 0.05519 84 67 14 3
2495 She left you at the altar? Guess you can have your cake and eat it too. 1.2381 0.05519 84 67 14 3
2496 She conceded. 1.2381 0.05519 84 67 14 3
2497 Step away.. from the cake ! 1.2381 0.05519 84 67 14 3
2498 I have a bad feeling about this. 1.2381 0.05253 84 66 16 2
2499 Got a bad feelin' about this one 1.2381 0.04972 84 65 18 1
2500 Take it from me- it’s a piece of cake. 1.2381 0.04972 84 65 18 1
2501 They said don't wear white, but nothing about this!" 1.2381 0.05253 84 66 16 2
2502 Honest Bob, I never though Gulliver would attend. 1.2381 0.05773 84 68 12 4
2503 It's not too late for us to pretend this whole thing was just one big misunderstanding. 1.2381 0.05253 84 66 16 2
2504 I hear the bride is as stacked as I am. 1.2381 0.05253 84 66 16 2
2505 Help me! I’ve been baked alive! 1.2381 0.05253 84 66 16 2
2506 Looks like I’m not the only one who got iced out. 1.2381 0.05253 84 66 16 2
2507 They forgot the masks. 1.2381 0.05519 84 67 14 3
2508 Are you going to keep my top in the freezer for your anniversary? Because it’s fine. I’m fine with it. It is what it is. 1.2381 0.05253 84 66 16 2
2509 It’s just the beginning of what I expect will be a very layered response . 1.2381 0.04675 84 64 20 0
2510 They say it's a big day for my little guy 1.2381 0.05253 84 66 16 2
2511 What if she tested positive the day before? 1.2381 0.05519 84 67 14 3
2512 You know you love me more than her. 1.2381 0.05773 84 68 12 4
2513 The bottom layer is the unsung hero. 1.2381 0.05253 84 66 16 2
2514 Relax, I'm sure she just went to get some plates, and, er, forks. Wait! A KNIFE! She definitely said she needed to grab a knife. 1.2381 0.05253 84 66 16 2
2515 I didn’t even propose. 1.2381 0.04015 84 67 16 1
2516 I’m watching you, and I know you aren’t wearing underwear. 1.2381 0.05519 84 67 14 3
2517 Stanley thought Susan's request that he wear a tux and they meet at the bakery for their first date was a bit odd... 1.2381 0.05253 84 66 16 2
2518 Will you tell this jerk to get off my head already? 1.2381 0.04972 84 65 18 1
2519 We can save your cake topper for future receptions, but you must maintain weight. 1.2381 0.04972 84 65 18 1
2520 The one in a bow tie is a larger-than-life fruit cake. 1.2381 0.05519 84 67 14 3
2521 It's been a very emotional day… even I am in tiers. 1.2381 0.05253 84 66 16 2
2522 Feels like you’re on top now, but soon you’ll be facedown on the table, covered in frosting. 1.2381 0.05253 84 66 16 2
2523 There's a lot more to it than this. 1.2381 0.04972 84 65 18 1
2524 Hey buddy. She’s a “no show” 1.2381 0.05253 84 66 16 2
2525 Too late George. This could have been you. 1.2381 0.05519 84 67 14 3
2526 This has been the weirdest Bar Mitzvah" said Beverly Polansky who's soul had been trapped in a wedding cake ever since that baker put a curse on he 1.2381 0.05253 84 66 16 2
2527 It's your 'mini-me'. 1.2381 0.05253 84 66 16 2
2528 Please save me. 1.2381 0.05773 84 68 12 4
2529 Groom, Shroom! Where’s your mask Buddy? 1.2381 0.04972 84 65 18 1
2530 I've heard of runaway brides, but to desert you like that... 1.2381 0.05253 84 66 16 2
2531 It’s over between us. 1.2381 0.05519 84 67 14 3
2532 Due to covid, it’s just you, me, and the two on top at this wedding. 1.2381 0.04675 84 64 20 0
2533 think about it, forget about her, we could be good together. 1.2381 0.04972 84 65 18 1
2534 Quick! It’s the first dance; make a diversion so I can get outta here! 1.2381 0.05253 84 66 16 2
2535 I am not as sweet as I look 1.2360 0.05059 89 70 17 2
2536 So explain how I remind you of your ex, Harold. How? 1.2353 0.05198 85 67 16 2
2537 The secret ingredient is jizz! 1.2353 0.05198 85 67 16 2
2538 Consume me. 1.2353 0.05461 85 68 14 3
2539 This might be the only way I can take off with the bride... 1.2353 0.04922 85 66 18 1
2540 This is the happiest cake of my life. 1.2346 0.05053 81 63 17 1
2541 Keep telling yourself it's a little slice of Heaven 1.2346 0.05630 81 65 13 3
2542 Social distancing is a real pain sometimes. 1.2346 0.05349 81 64 15 2
2543 Eyeing the bridesmaids, eh? Seems you want to have your cake and eat it, too. 1.2346 0.05203 81 66 12 3
2544 Save me a big piece of me." 1.2346 0.05349 81 64 15 2
2545 If you prick us, do we not bleed? 1.2346 0.05630 81 65 13 3
2546 My outside is beautiful, my core is bland Good luck with her. 1.2346 0.05349 81 64 15 2
2547 Just so you know, I'm vegan. 1.2346 0.05349 81 64 15 2
2548 No, it just looks like I’m sad. Wedding cakes always have tiers. 1.2346 0.05349 81 64 15 2
2549 You don't resemble the guy on top, so your not the groom. 1.2346 0.05630 81 65 13 3
2550 Bet you thought SHE was the icing on the cake! 1.2346 0.05349 81 64 15 2
2551 Hey! What about six feet and a mask don’t you understand? 1.2346 0.05898 81 66 11 4
2552 I'm the piece that's speaking now. 1.2346 0.05630 81 65 13 3
2553 Of course she’s divorcing you. You stole her hair. 1.2346 0.05630 81 65 13 3
2554 Two words: Palm oil. 1.2346 0.05053 81 63 17 1
2555 Remember: "Two Become One" - and then there are none! Just sayin... 1.2346 0.05349 81 64 15 2
2556 Yea, it's not about you, big boy, it was nevah about you! 1.2346 0.05898 81 66 11 4
2557 You invited Dr. Fauci, not me. 1.2346 0.06154 81 67 9 5
2558 You weren't here, so the Best Man took over! 1.2346 0.05349 81 64 15 2
2559 I know it doesn't do her justice. 1.2346 0.05630 81 65 13 3
2560 Patty cake patty cake baker’s man. She will leave you as fast as she can! 1.2346 0.05898 81 66 11 4
2561 She decided to social distance instead. 1.2346 0.05053 81 63 17 1
2562 Don't worry, I'll pass through you less painfully than she will. 1.2346 0.05349 81 64 15 2
2563 The original line was “forever hold your piece.” Get yourself woke, man. 1.2346 0.05898 81 66 11 4
2564 At least smash your own face in before you go 1.2346 0.05349 81 64 15 2
2565 Til Covid do us part.. 1.2346 0.05349 81 64 15 2
2566 Ok,I guess she does look a BIT like my sister 1.2346 0.05630 81 65 13 3
2567 BAKED BY ADAM AND STEVE FOR EDDIE AND EVE 1.2346 0.05630 81 65 13 3
2568 Ted was having a rough day. not only did his bride ran out but the baker got his nose completely wrong! 1.2346 0.05630 81 64 13 3
2569 Just so you know, she modeled the groom after your twin brother. 1.2346 0.05349 81 64 15 2
2570 She's not that into you. 1.2346 0.05630 81 65 13 3
2571 Good job acting surprised 1.2346 0.05630 81 65 13 3
2572 My baker was fine with a boring straight wedding, but I was hoping for something a bit gayer. 1.2346 0.04737 81 62 19 0
2573 eating me isn't the only thing you're going to regret. 1.2346 0.05349 81 64 15 2
2574 I am better looking then he is! 1.2346 0.05630 81 65 13 3
2575 Remember, after you shove the cake in her face and fall to the floor, ask yourself: Was it done in a loving way? 1.2346 0.05898 81 66 11 4
2576 Pssst! You're not gonna like what pops out of me. 1.2346 0.04898 81 65 14 2
2577 You may now kiss the cake 1.2346 0.05349 81 64 15 2
2578 You were right. They're having an affair. 1.2346 0.05349 81 64 15 2
2579 I give it two years at most. 1.2346 0.05349 81 64 15 2
2580 Are you cake, too? 1.2346 0.05349 81 64 15 2
2581 Hey Gulliver, looks like she found a bigger man than you. 1.2346 0.05349 81 64 15 2
2582 If I only knew then what I know now... 1.2346 0.05349 81 64 15 2
2583 When her sister came to pick me up, I heard her say she had the hots for you. 1.2346 0.03412 81 66 13 1
2584 Well, well, well. If it isn’t Jason ‘I’m not looking for anything serious right now’ Biggs. How do you sleep at night? 1.2346 0.05630 81 65 13 3
2585 Everyone's been talking about me! For some reason, they keep calling me, 'the Bride's cake,' though. 1.2346 0.05349 81 64 15 2
2586 Enjoy the screen shot of my covid restricted wedding and reception 1.2346 0.05349 81 64 15 2
2587 That's what I call an "I don't" face. 1.2346 0.05630 81 65 13 3
2588 It’s too late to call it off! 1.2346 0.04737 81 62 19 0
2589 Hey! You talkin' to me? 1.2346 0.05630 81 65 13 3
2590 When you get down to me you won't look like yourself. 1.2346 0.05630 81 65 13 3
2591 Jeffrey Toobin took his dick out on a Zoom call. 1.2346 0.05630 81 65 13 3
2592 I've been served at a few of these, did you remember the pre-nup.... 1.2346 0.05053 81 63 17 1
2593 No frills wedding for plain Jane and Boring Bruce. 1.2346 0.05630 81 65 13 3
2594 What? You've never heard sweet talked before? 1.2346 0.05630 81 65 13 3
2595 Told you she’d be a no show. 1.2346 0.05630 81 65 13 3
2596 Eh! Shut your cake hole! 1.2346 0.05898 81 66 11 4
2597 Please get these two off my back! 1.2346 0.05053 81 63 17 1
2598 You'd better do something. People are going to think you're afraid of intimacy. 1.2346 0.05053 81 63 17 1
2599 Yes, I do think it makes your butt look smaller. 1.2346 0.05630 81 65 13 3
2600 I don't care who you are, don't come any closer without a mask. 1.2346 0.05053 81 63 17 1
2601 Stick with me, pal. Bridesmaids love a guy lurking around the cake. 1.2346 0.06154 81 67 9 5
2602 Always a Butter Cream...Never a Bride. 1.2346 0.05349 81 64 15 2
2603 It'll never work out. She's too good for you. 1.2346 0.05349 81 64 15 2
2604 One more piece of cake has just survived for Eros's sake. 1.2346 0.05630 81 65 13 3
2605 Not now, we're in lock-down 1.2346 0.05898 81 66 11 4
2606 It’s a talking cake topper! Of course their arguing; their married! What did you expect? 1.2346 0.05630 81 65 13 3
2607 Now that you mention it, that does look like your ex! 1.2346 0.04737 81 62 19 0
2608 She's not right for you, you know. 1.2346 0.05349 81 64 15 2
2609 On day 365 you will awaken me from a cryogenic slumber. 1.2346 0.05349 81 64 15 2
2610 Between you and me, my top tier is only kind of vegan. 1.2346 0.05053 81 63 17 1
2611 Soon you're gonna be hearing the pitter-patter of little cupcakes. 1.2346 0.05898 81 66 11 4
2612 Get over it. You’re just the icing on this cake. 1.2346 0.05349 81 64 15 2
2613 Your bride wants to have her cake and kibitz with it too. 1.2346 0.05630 81 65 13 3
2614 It's really about antagonistic cooperation. 1.2346 0.05349 81 64 15 2
2615 No, I am not gluten free but at least I’m free. 1.2346 0.05053 81 63 17 1
2616 ... and I never knew that cake-top figures actually moved. 1.2346 0.05630 81 65 13 3
2617 You’re too late dude. They found a sub. 1.2346 0.05349 81 64 15 2
2618 For a guy full of regret today, you're not that heavy, man 1.2346 0.04034 81 64 15 1
2619 Careful where you step, it’s cakes all the way down. 1.2346 0.05053 81 63 17 1
2620 Errm, where are the promised crèmes brûlées? 1.2346 0.05630 81 65 13 3
2621 Don’t worry marriage is a piece of cake 1.2346 0.04737 81 62 19 0
2622 Hey you! Yeah I’m talking to you, little man! What are you doing with my bride?! 1.2346 0.05898 81 66 11 4
2623 This is the first step into a whole new belt size... 1.2346 0.05053 81 63 17 1
2624 Don't look now, but there's a giant man staring at us. 1.2346 0.05349 81 64 15 2
2625 At that moment, the cake realized its purpose for being at the wedding. 1.2346 0.05349 81 64 15 2
2626 Hey! Later when I get smushed into your face. Don't take it personal? 1.2346 0.04737 81 62 19 0
2627 Cheer up buddy. At least you're not about to be chopped up and served with a '95 Dom. 1.2346 0.05630 81 65 13 3
2628 If you cut me, I’ll rip you apart 1.2346 0.05349 81 64 15 2
2629 Please don't assume I chose a straight wedding. Us cakes don't really have a say there 1.2346 0.05053 81 63 17 1
2630 You have to get really small, but the upside is lots of cake. 1.2346 0.05630 81 65 13 3
2631 Friend of the bride. 1.2346 0.05349 81 64 15 2
2632 why is there a girl on my cake 1.2346 0.05053 81 63 17 1
2633 You can marry me instead! 1.2346 0.05349 81 64 15 2
2634 I tiered up on your wedding 😢 1.2346 0.05053 81 63 17 1
2635 Even with COVID, I am not a single serving. 1.2346 0.05053 81 63 17 1
2636 Well dave, I’m sorry and all but, does this mean I’m free to go? 1.2346 0.05630 81 65 13 3
2637 I told you no one would get it. 1.2346 0.05630 81 65 13 3
2638 She put me in here to make sure you dont have too many slices. Welcome to marriage. 1.2346 0.05349 81 64 15 2
2639 Before I end up in both of your faces, did the COVID test results come back yet? 1.2346 0.05053 81 63 17 1
2640 Actually, yes. That IS your mother. 1.2278 0.05683 79 64 12 3
2641 Word is she's sleeping with the miniature groom from the other bakery. 1.2278 0.05079 79 62 16 1
2642 Get it over with, already. 1.2278 0.05390 79 63 14 2
2643 You're better than a cake topper! 1.2278 0.05390 79 63 14 2
2644 Yes, it WAS supposed to be you, but NOOO, you had to play those damn video games all the time. 1.2278 0.05683 79 64 12 3
2645 Run Bobbie Run! 1.2278 0.05961 79 65 10 4
2646 Their going to dance next 1.2278 0.05683 79 64 12 3
2647 At least I'm sugar-coated and have a longer shelf life than your marriage. 1.2278 0.05390 79 63 14 2
2648 So what if she backed out,, I'm all yours now,,, 1.2278 0.05683 79 64 12 3
2649 She is not coming. She is a youtuber now. 1.2278 0.05961 79 65 10 4
2650 My life is pain –– kill me. 1.2278 0.05961 79 65 10 4
2651 Help me! I can’t feel your legs! 1.2278 0.05961 79 65 10 4
2652 Flys down bruh 1.2278 0.05683 79 64 12 3
2653 The deleted scene from American Wedding 1.2278 0.05390 79 63 14 2
2654 You did used to be taller than her but you sank into the top layer! (Maybe you shouldn't have any cake, if you know what I mean) 1.2250 0.05329 80 64 14 2
2655 Your DNA was used for an exact likeness. 1.2237 0.05493 76 61 13 2
2656 YOU SHRUNK MY WIFE! 1.2237 0.05493 76 61 13 2
2657 Small talk aside, the wedding was a cakewalk. 1.2237 0.04812 76 59 17 0
2658 I'm queer, Satanic, and really inappropriate for your ceremony - much less being eaten. 1.2237 0.05164 76 60 15 1
2659 I really wanna make this work, Mark 1.2237 0.02368 76 64 11 1
2660 No! Elaine! Elaine Robinson! No!!! 1.2237 0.05493 76 61 13 2
2661 Mom!? 1.2237 0.05164 76 60 15 1
2662 Come on...if your alter ego can find one... 1.2237 0.05493 76 61 13 2
2663 ...eat me...you must eat me... 1.2237 0.05803 76 62 11 3
2664 I tried to warn them, that life isn't always a piece of cake 1.2237 0.04812 76 59 17 0
2665 Run away now you fool, before it's too late! 1.2237 0.05164 76 60 15 1
2666 She's pregnant!!! 1.2237 0.05493 76 61 13 2
2667 Could you hand me my cell, please? It’s in tier two, between the Chantilly cream and the strawberry jam. 1.2237 0.05803 76 62 11 3
2668 Your slice could contain the lucky tooth! 1.2237 0.05803 76 62 11 3
2669 Your best man is HUGE! 1.2237 0.05164 76 60 15 1
2670 I guess she was serious when she said “wear a mask or else”. 1.2237 0.05493 76 61 13 2
2671 Yes, and when two wedding cakes love each other, they make cupcakes. Are you sure you're ready to get married? 1.2237 0.05164 76 60 15 1
2672 Hey! You look great. 1.2237 0.05803 76 62 11 3
2673 Ralph -- it's Mom, dressed as a wedding cake. 1.2237 0.05493 76 61 13 2
2674 You must be the father of the bride. 1.2237 0.06098 76 63 9 4
2675 Just remember, I warned you. 1.2237 0.05493 76 61 13 2
2676 They don't make her any bigger. 1.2237 0.05493 76 61 13 2
2677 She discovered you're acrophobic. I fear it doesn't bode well. 1.2237 0.05493 76 61 13 2
2678 She has a confection... she's not that fondant of you 1.2237 0.05493 76 61 13 2
2679 Maybe I do need a haircut after all. 1.2237 0.05803 76 62 11 3
2680 You want me to sit here quietly and hold you and that woman up? Eat me." 1.2237 0.06098 76 63 9 4
2681 Pssst buddy, you know that guy up there don't look anything like you and I think NOW would be a good time for you and me to break outta here! 1.2237 0.05493 76 61 13 2
2682 Life has become unbearable since we bought dad that trick photography manual. 1.2237 0.05493 76 61 13 2
2683 She specified walnut cake knowing you're hyper allergic - bad sign! 1.2237 0.05493 76 61 13 2
2684 You'll see. The lowest circle of hell. 1.2237 0.05493 76 61 13 2
2685 The irony is they met in the gluten-free aisle….. 1.2237 0.05493 76 61 13 2
2686 Dick and Jane wanted to have a small wedding. 1.2237 0.05493 76 61 13 2
2687 A pie would have started this marriage off on a firmer footing. 1.2237 0.05493 76 61 13 2
2688 I'd like to be a Diversity Cake, but you know, with the new conservative majority, you can't just let them eat cake. 1.2237 0.05164 76 60 15 1
2689 They're separated under the new guidelines. And remember to have the photographer bring a telephoto lens. 1.2237 0.05164 76 60 15 1
2690 While they were dating, he agreed to layer... 1.2237 0.05164 76 60 15 1
2691 Based on what I've just heard they haven't got a hope 1.2237 0.05493 76 61 13 2
2692 All she said was “Let him eat cake!” 1.2237 0.04812 76 59 17 0
2693 They’ve agreed on separate bedrooms, separate checking accounts, separate vacations, and—after two years—a trial separation. 1.2237 0.05164 76 60 15 1
2694 That $10,000 fine has them scared to get closer. 1.2237 0.05164 76 60 15 1
2695 Warning: This cake contains female sexual interest inhibitor. 1.2237 0.05803 76 62 11 3
2696 It's 2020. I'm filled with anxiety. 1.2237 0.05164 76 60 15 1
2697 She'll Zoom in soon! Socially distanced weddings result in a silly cake. 1.2237 0.05164 76 60 15 1
2698 Do you sometimes also feel your turn will never come? 1.2237 0.06098 76 63 9 4
2699 Marriage ain’t a piece of cake. Grab your Mini-Me up there and run.” 1.2237 0.05493 76 61 13 2
2700 We matched the haircut with a pre-quarantine photo. 1.2237 0.05164 76 60 15 1
2701 Wait a minute...that looks like my no-good brother Larry. 1.2237 0.05493 76 61 13 2
2702 Make sure you save a slice of me in the freezer so you have something to cry-eat when she takes the kids. 1.2237 0.05493 76 61 13 2
2703 Three-layered social distancing, but the two will become one. 1.2237 0.05803 76 62 11 3
2704 Go back...it’s an ambush! 1.2237 0.04812 76 59 17 0
2705 A word Of advice. Too sweet...and they are in your face. 1.2237 0.05803 76 62 11 3
2706 Did the minister say “even when a pandemic drives any of you crazy”? 1.2237 0.05493 76 61 13 2
2707 Hey! Your fiancé is having an affair with the baker. 1.2237 0.05493 76 61 13 2
2708 That was me thirty years ago on the first day of an unhappy marriage! 1.2237 0.05164 76 60 15 1
2709 They lied to you - they are a gay couple! 1.2237 0.05803 76 62 11 3
2710 Psst. I'm a wedding cake trapped in a gluten free body. 1.2237 0.05493 76 61 13 2
2711 you should hear what she has in mind for you! 1.2237 0.05803 76 62 11 3
2712 I was told I could bring a plus-one. 1.2237 0.05803 76 62 11 3
2713 May I just say, you’re gorgeous? It’s been a year since I’ve indulged in a shared dessert with a room full of people. 1.2237 0.05493 76 61 13 2
2714 I give this marriage one year - but hey, what do I know? I'm just a Talking Cake! 1.2237 0.05493 76 61 13 2
2715 Look, break you free they'll spare me the knife. Then, I know a couple a pies that'll connect you to the big cookie. 1.2237 0.04432 76 63 11 2
2716 Can't say that I blame her; he makes more dough than you. 1.2237 0.05164 76 60 15 1
2717 Pssst. There's an interior stairway. 1.2237 0.05164 76 60 15 1
2718 Sir, please. Just a little scratch... right at the top. Think I have cake lice." 1.2237 0.05493 76 61 13 2
2719 Well, catch a look at you! And, I thought I was the icing on the cake. 1.2237 0.05164 76 60 15 1
2720 You look shocked,but I think I can put you at ease - the frosting is buttercream. 1.2237 0.05803 76 62 11 3
2721 The years stack up layer after shrinking layer, until eventually you’re trapped, only to be cut to pieces by those you love most. Mazel tov! 1.2237 0.05164 76 60 15 1
2722 You're next,cake face 1.2237 0.05493 76 61 13 2
2723 I'm sorry but there would have been an extra charge for same-sex figures. 1.2237 0.05803 76 62 11 3
2724 Psst, she preferred the guy before you, but you'll do for now. 1.2237 0.05493 76 61 13 2
2725 Three tiers is so de rigeur! 1.2237 0.05493 76 61 13 2
2726 Cake and eat it too.do you know how much that cake cost!! 1.2237 0.05164 76 60 15 1
2727 Hi ho the derrio the Groom Stands Alone 1.2237 0.05493 76 61 13 2
2728 You can't just be eye balling the dosage, Mark. Today was important. 1.2237 0.05803 76 62 11 3
2729 What do you think to the hat? Too much? 1.2237 0.05803 76 62 11 3
2730 I’m actually classically trained, I’m only doing this to pay the bills 1.2237 0.06379 76 64 7 5
2731 Paul Hollywood isn't going to like this ****** 1.2237 0.05803 76 62 11 3
2732 Don’t let the frosting fool you. I’m a power bottom. 1.2237 0.06379 76 64 7 5
2733 Your wife went with the trending Covid Cake. Simple, bland, unsatisfying 1.2237 0.05493 76 61 13 2
2734 It’s a trap, run! 1.2237 0.05803 76 62 11 3
2735 Are you ready? 1.2237 0.05803 76 62 11 3
2736 She’s zooming in. 1.2237 0.05803 76 62 11 3
2737 I now pronounce you fat 1.2237 0.05164 76 60 15 1
2738 I hope I feel as happy as my small clone up there! 1.2237 0.05493 76 61 13 2
2739 You’re going to love me, I promise. 1.2237 0.05803 76 62 11 3
2740 Yes I am wearing the red velvet suspenders you like 1.2237 0.05164 76 60 15 1
2741 you see my hat? you can't have that. 1.2237 0.05493 76 61 13 2
2742 Oh no... none of the tiers is vegan! 1.2237 0.05803 76 62 11 3
2743 You think this is your wedding. This is not your wedding. I am a talking cake. Clearly, there’s something wrong here. 1.2237 0.05164 76 60 15 1
2744 You’ve been cancelled. 1.2237 0.05803 76 62 11 3
2745 Can you imagine yourself in my shoes with a cake on top of your head? 1.2237 0.05493 76 61 13 2
2746 Unfortunately, it’s doomed if she loves me more than you by the end of the day. 1.2237 0.05493 76 61 13 2
2747 Brace yourself! I am going to jump out wearing a bikini. 1.2237 0.05493 76 61 13 2
2748 I was actually supposed to be delivered to a bachelor's party. 1.2237 0.05493 76 61 13 2
2749 The last day of everything sweet! 1.2237 0.06098 76 63 9 4
2750 I know you’re sad that she left and want to drown your sorrow in my icing. Before you do, remember you’re on Zoom. 1.2237 0.05803 76 62 11 3
2751 You cut me, and she cuts you! 1.2237 0.06098 76 63 9 4
2752 They aren’t socially distanced. 1.2208 0.06026 77 64 9 4
2753 Nobody will know if you lick the figurines and put them back. 1.2208 0.05735 77 63 11 3
2754 Its always whats the cake inside never how's the cake inside. 1.2208 0.06026 77 64 9 4
2755 Don’t worry: I cry at weddings but I don’t shed tiers. 1.2208 0.05429 77 62 13 2
2756 It’s all uphill from here. 1.2208 0.05429 77 62 13 2
2757 Hey, if it doesn’t work out between the two of you, I know a GREAT divorcée baker. 1.2208 0.04758 77 60 17 0
2758 I disagree. The hokey pokey IS what it's all about! 1.2208 0.05429 77 62 13 2
2759 With social distancing won't get to see your new wife till next year 1.2208 0.05735 77 63 11 3
2760 Stick your finger in the icing and I'll shrink you down too, Bubba! 1.2208 0.05429 77 62 13 2
2761 Your wife is cheap, only the top layer is cake.... 1.2208 0.05429 77 62 13 2
2762 Do you think there’s time for me to get a pardon too? 1.2208 0.05429 77 62 13 2
2763 The little guy on top looks just like you. 1.2208 0.05104 77 61 15 1
2764 They're still open--get another groom! 1.2208 0.05429 77 62 13 2
2765 9 to 1 They don't make it 1.2208 0.05104 77 61 15 1
2766 Sorry, my baker insisted that there be a man and a woman on my head. 1.2208 0.05429 77 62 13 2
2767 I know I'm only a cake, but you should take my advice and run like hell. 1.2208 0.05429 77 62 13 2
2768 The icing on the cake is perhaps the best example of how I feel. Oh, to be the cream. 1.2208 0.05104 77 61 15 1
2769 I should not have ate those mushrooms. 1.2208 0.05104 77 61 15 1
2770 Of course it's an illusion, and of course it's you. It's every lonely straight guy about to hit mid life. 1.2208 0.05735 77 63 11 3
2771 This could be you on top, piece of cake 1.2208 0.05429 77 62 13 2
2772 Wedding Cake without the bride still tastes great. 1.2208 0.05104 77 61 15 1
2773 She’s probably just worried about COVID 1.2208 0.05429 77 62 13 2
2774 He didn’t expect his wedding to be that socially distanced, that even his soon to be wife was absent 1.2208 0.05429 77 62 13 2
2775 She didn’t show up, but at least it’s carrot cake. 1.2208 0.05735 77 63 11 3
2776 Uh-Oh, I don't like that look on your face." 1.2208 0.05429 77 62 13 2
2777 'When even the cake guy has a bride but you don't' 1.2208 0.05429 77 62 13 2
2778 Gary was looking for handles to play Rock ‘Em Sock ‘Em Bride & Groom 1.2208 0.05429 77 62 13 2
2779 I told you all I wanted was to marry you on a giant cake. Why the hell did you waste money on a giant man?! 1.2208 0.05735 77 63 11 3
2780 Forget the honeymoon, we're gonna be put in the freezer for a year.' 1.2179 0.05668 78 64 11 3
2781 Marriage is definitely not a piece of me 1.2179 0.05046 78 62 15 1
2782 Don’t think of it that way. Think of it as your bride social distanced herself. 1.2169 0.05156 83 67 14 2
2783 Psst! One magic shroom--just $29.95-- and that will be you up there marrying Alice. 1.2162 0.05858 74 61 10 3
2784 Don't eat me I mean don't marry her. 1.2162 0.05188 74 59 14 1
2785 She wants me to tell you that her Zoom account has expired. 1.2162 0.04818 74 58 16 0
2786 Should we let them do this now, or tell them to wait till Covid is over? 1.2162 0.05533 74 60 12 2
2787 Did the cook have to remind me I can’t kiss the bride till this COVID is over? 1.2162 0.05533 74 60 12 2
2788 While you were gone, a handsome figurine was up there talking to her. 1.2162 0.05533 74 60 12 2
2789 Why did they put my hair on the bride? 1.2162 0.05007 74 61 11 2
2790 My advice: separate bathrooms. 1.2162 0.05533 74 60 12 2
2791 It was then that Alex realized he had commitment isdues. 1.2162 0.05858 74 61 10 3
2792 Court ordered wedding cake! 1.2162 0.05533 74 60 12 2
2793 You can’t have your cake and eat it, too. Sweet nothings are just frosting for the ear. 1.2162 0.05533 74 60 12 2
2794 Eric's uncontrolled hypoglycemia often had embarrassing if not disastrous consequences. 1.2162 0.06166 74 62 8 4
2795 I wore it better. 1.2162 0.05188 74 59 14 1
2796 Don’t worry. Everything stays in proportion. 1.2162 0.05533 74 60 12 2
2797 Have your mistake and eat it! 1.2162 0.05858 74 61 10 3
2798 Just remember what Marie Antoinette said shortly before she was guillotined, "Let them eat cake". 1.2162 0.05858 74 61 10 3
2799 Yer in big trouble, but not in deep trouble. She's kinda shallow, you know. 1.2162 0.05858 74 61 10 3
2800 So, you see, I thought I was agreeing to be a 'flower' girl. 1.2162 0.05533 74 60 12 2
2801 Thank you for showing up to our wedding -- I sure feel bad for Roy. 1.2162 0.03480 74 60 14 0
2802 Looks nice, but is that cake trying to tell me something? 1.2162 0.05533 74 60 12 2
2803 You can watch your nuptials on zoom! 1.2162 0.05188 74 59 14 1
2804 Please, sir, don’t cut me. 1.2162 0.05188 74 59 14 1
2805 Congratulations 1.2162 0.05188 74 59 14 1
2806 Biggest decision of your life. Yeah, this. Think about that. 1.2162 0.05188 74 59 14 1
2807 She said marriage would be an opportunity for growth...but I thought she meant for both of us." James S Boston, M 1.2162 0.05858 74 61 10 3
2808 You call THAT commitment? At the end of the day, YOU will still be laughing and talking. 1.2162 0.05533 74 60 12 2
2809 We're all set here- the couple has decided to quarantine with me. 1.2162 0.05188 74 59 14 1
2810 Your wife will be thinking about me tonight. 1.2162 0.05533 74 60 12 2
2811 Are you crazy, you can't get on top of a cake! 1.2162 0.04818 74 58 16 0
2812 Hey! What’s wrong with you buddy, you think you can have your cake AND eat it too?! 1.2162 0.05188 74 59 14 1
2813 The first cut is the deepest. And saving on your divorce by having your bride run away is honestly the cheapest. 1.2162 0.04622 74 60 13 1
2814 At least they will remember which year they got married in. 1.2162 0.05188 74 59 14 1
2815 Shoulda listened to the bottom layer 1.2162 0.05533 74 60 12 2
2816 You cut me and your in-laws return the favor 1.2162 0.05188 74 59 14 1
2817 Please help me. I have a splitting headache. 1.2133 0.05467 75 61 12 2
2818 Relax. You just got married in a Disney Princess movie. 1.2133 0.05787 75 62 10 3
2819 Hello, I'm the base layer who keeps the icing from melting. 1.2133 0.05467 75 61 12 2
2820 They're lucky the caterer made to last through the end of reception. The maariage itself, no guarantees. 1.2133 0.05467 75 61 12 2
2821 I see Mike Pence is back on top. 1.2133 0.05787 75 62 10 3
2822 You could get married without fucking the cake, but that would be bad luck. It's a tradition. 1.2133 0.05787 75 62 10 3
2823 You've lost her already? Good luck! 1.2133 0.05127 75 60 14 1
2824 They ordered a voodoo priest by mistake. 1.2133 0.06090 75 63 8 4
2825 This wedding cake is unlike any other! 1.2133 0.05127 75 60 14 1
2826 Few appreciate how the fourth layer got on my head. 1.2133 0.05127 75 60 14 1
2827 You better believe you can have your cake and eat it too. 1.2133 0.05467 75 61 12 2
2828 20 th Jan too far. Kam and Joe step down for now. It will be an inauguration not wedding 1.2133 0.05467 75 61 12 2
2829 She's watching 'Emily in Paris.' 1.2133 0.06090 75 63 8 4
2830 Flour power 1.2133 0.05467 75 61 12 2
2831 Yeah, I told them not to give you straight hair and not to give her curly hair but they didn't listen. 1.2133 0.05467 75 61 12 2
2832 It’s never going to last 1.2133 0.05127 75 60 14 1
2833 Psst! It looks bad. They’ve been at it all the way to the third layer. The butter cream is like scorched earth. 1.2133 0.06090 75 63 8 4
2834 How do I look? Is it too much? 1.2133 0.05467 75 61 12 2
2835 I'm taller than that and have a smaller paunch! 1.2133 0.05467 75 61 12 2
2836 I can't believe that my suit still fits! 1.2133 0.04762 75 59 16 0
2837 And that was when the Oracle wedding cake told John his marriage was doomed to fail 1.2133 0.06090 75 63 8 4
2838 I guess she prefers to be the on the top layer. 1.2133 0.05787 75 62 10 3
2839 On your tier there are temperature checks and no touching the bride. 1.2133 0.05127 75 60 14 1
2840 ...but what goes on down in this layer really takes the cake. 1.2133 0.05467 75 61 12 2
2841 Groomed on a silver platter are we? 1.2133 0.05787 75 62 10 3
2842 They seem to be guessing about half of what you actually paid for me. 1.2133 0.05467 75 61 12 2
2843 I used to dream I was eating my pillow. Now it’s this! 1.2133 0.05467 75 61 12 2
2844 I know planning a virtual wedding is tricky, but come on...my hair is blond. not black... 1.2133 0.05787 75 62 10 3
2845 „Slick move, Steve, bringing no knife to a cake fight...“ 1.2133 0.05787 75 62 10 3
2846 Hey, listen Bud, if she don't show up I just want you to know that my real job is grief counseling. 1.2133 0.05127 75 60 14 1
2847 Thank God, it’s not me! 1.2133 0.05467 75 61 12 2
2848 You can have your bride and eat her too. 1.2133 0.05127 75 60 14 1
2849 Of course I believe in equal marriage rights! 1.2105 0.05402 76 62 12 2
2850 "You want your cake and eat too, don't you." 1.2105 0.06016 76 64 8 4
2851 He doesn't look anything like me. And who's that blonde with him ? Where's my wife ??? 1.2105 0.05067 76 61 14 1
2852 So 21st century 1.2105 0.05067 76 61 14 1
2853 She wants cake smashed into her face. 1.2105 0.05402 76 62 12 2
2854 I overheard her say you’d get more for the cake than from the pre-nup you’re about to sign 1.2105 0.05717 76 63 10 3
2855 Oh no I asked her to marry me in 2020 when I thought the world was ending 1.2105 0.05067 76 61 14 1
2856 Let's make a run for it! 1.2083 0.04820 72 57 15 0
2857 Who would you rather have at your first anniversary — a scrawny little top of a nice big fat bottom? 1.2083 0.05210 72 58 13 1
2858 Where's Tom Dewey when we need him? 1.2083 0.05573 72 59 11 2
2859 If you cut me, I will scream. 1.2083 0.05573 72 59 11 2
2860 Oh, how I wish I’d faked an excuse to miss this wedding. 1.2083 0.05573 72 59 11 2
2861 Your weight gain this year went straight to my thighs. 1.2083 0.05913 72 60 9 3
2862 At least now I'm actually being enjoyed instead of just tolerated. In my last life, I was home-made cranberry sauce. 1.2083 0.05573 72 59 11 2
2863 How would you like walking around all day with two cupcakes on your head before getting stabbed? 1.2083 0.05913 72 60 9 3
2864 I believe I told you she was on a diet , thinks your thighs are gross , and is level conscious . 1.2083 0.05913 72 60 9 3
2865 She's asking for a pre-nup.. 1.2083 0.05573 72 59 11 2
2866 Pssst - This is murder by mouth, save me. 1.2083 0.05210 72 58 13 1
2867 Excuse me, sir, this whole thing won’t work if you don’t have a bride. Of course there’s no guarantee that it will work either way. So, might as well proceed...Cut the cake. 1.2083 0.05210 72 58 13 1
2868 You can have me....but NO eating damn it! 1.2083 0.05210 72 58 13 1
2869 Sorry, they opted for a small gathering. 1.2083 0.05210 72 58 13 1
2870 If you cut into me I swear 1.2083 0.05573 72 59 11 2
2871 Your wife stole me but her record was ex-sponged 1.2083 0.05573 72 59 11 2
2872 Wanna go down a notch? 1.2083 0.05913 72 60 9 3
2873 Here comes the third wheel. 1.2083 0.04820 72 57 15 0
2874 Still have to pay alimony in this dream, but it's been reduced. 1.2083 0.04820 72 57 15 0
2875 You’re a lot bigger in real life. 1.2083 0.05210 72 58 13 1
2876 As far as taste goes, I am sans rival. 1.2083 0.05573 72 59 11 2
2877 I coulda been a snowman. 1.2083 0.04820 72 57 15 0
2878 You should have done a virtual wedding,you selfish jerk. 1.2083 0.04167 72 58 14 0
2879 Or forever hold your slice. 1.2083 0.05573 72 59 11 2
2880 I cost $1000. What did your barber cost? 1.2083 0.04820 72 57 15 0
2881 A bit of advice before you go through with this. marriage is no cakewalk. 1.2083 0.05573 72 59 11 2
2882 The bride on this cake top couple looks suspiciously like my sister. 1.2083 0.05210 72 58 13 1
2883 Welcome to the real world!” 1.2083 0.05573 72 59 11 2
2884 I'm taking bets on the divorce year. Submit your bet to the cake shop. 1.2083 0.05573 72 58 11 2
2885 I just wanted cake. 1.2083 0.05573 72 59 11 2
2886 You should have known she preferred Italian Cream 1.2083 0.05573 72 59 11 2
2887 Her mother's a real piece of work..don't ask me how I know. 1.2083 0.04820 72 57 15 0
2888 Will this be a Zoom wedding? 1.2083 0.05913 72 60 9 3
2889 I hate to tell you this, but her back is covered with icing. 1.2083 0.05210 72 58 13 1
2890 I told them his name was Henry, not Henriette. 1.2083 0.05913 72 60 9 3
2891 You better NOT have invited enough people to eat all this cake! Ever heard heard of a "Super-Spreader Event?" 1.2083 0.04395 72 61 9 2
2892 You're just gonna have to decide to get layered. 1.2083 0.05210 72 58 13 1
2893 It's a pre-nuptial financial agreement cake. 1.2083 0.05913 72 60 9 3
2894 If you think I've got layers, just wait until she tells you about her first marriage. 1.2083 0.05210 72 58 13 1
2895 Psst... I dare you, jenga! 1.2083 0.05210 72 58 13 1
2896 You said you wanted to have your cake and meet it, too. 1.2083 0.05210 72 58 13 1
2897 Did you want fries with that? 1.2083 0.05573 72 59 11 2
2898 So I heard the bride jumped out of my cousin at some dude's birthday party last week. 1.2083 0.06235 72 61 7 4
2899 Oh shit, I did way too much acid before coming to stop this wedding. 1.2083 0.05913 72 60 9 3
2900 For better or worse? Please! 1.2083 0.05913 72 60 9 3
2901 But I’m BIGGER than he is! 1.2083 0.05913 72 60 9 3
2902 (From one inanimate object to another:) You’re going on the next cake. It’s a big one. 1.2083 0.05573 72 59 11 2
2903 I knew our wedding song should have been My Little Runaway. 1.2083 0.05573 72 59 11 2
2904 You think you have it easy? 1.2083 0.05913 72 60 9 3
2905 Mark my words, size matters! 1.2083 0.04820 72 57 15 0
2906 I'm the ex-husband. 1.2083 0.04820 72 57 15 0
2907 I could give you some wise advice, but I'm only a cake. 1.2083 0.04820 72 57 15 0
2908 Your mother never liked her anyway. 1.2083 0.05573 72 59 11 2
2909 The cake's not alive. I'm the virus that was sneezed onto the cake. 1.2083 0.05573 72 59 11 2
2910 You know, they should be wearing masks. 1.2083 0.05573 72 59 11 2
2911 The election was rigged, man. The proof is in the pudding! 1.2083 0.05210 72 58 13 1
2912 When you smear me in her face, please be gentle. 1.2083 0.04820 72 57 15 0
2913 You're shorter......No, you're shorter 1.2083 0.05210 72 58 13 1
2914 There are three layers to everything, you know. 1.2083 0.05573 72 59 11 2
2915 Don't look at me - he was the bride's choice. 1.2083 0.04820 72 57 15 0
2916 Bert, you've got to help me get out of here---I've got cold feet. 1.2083 0.05210 72 58 13 1
2917 I take it you don’t appreciate reductive humor? 1.2083 0.05210 72 58 13 1
2918 Hey, you -- eat me! 1.2083 0.05210 72 58 13 1
2919 Is there something in my hair? 1.2083 0.04820 72 57 15 0
2920 Their lack of social distancing really takes the cake. 1.2083 0.05573 72 59 11 2
2921 The only thing jumpin’ out of this cake is cooties. 1.2083 0.05573 72 59 11 2
2922 I know. Pretty meta, right? 1.2083 0.05573 72 59 11 2
2923 It's me, the Cake talking, how dare you, she's only 18. 1.2083 0.05573 72 59 11 2
2924 my favorite brides runaway brides.. 1.2083 0.05913 72 60 9 3
2925 It's not too late to do the right thing and get out of this arrangement. Besides, I'm not gluten friendly. 1.2083 0.05210 72 58 13 1
2926 IT NEVER WORKS OUT WHEN THEY STAND ON TOP. I'VE SEEN IT OVER AND OVER AGAIN. 1.2083 0.05573 72 59 11 2
2927 This could be you someday. 1.2083 0.04612 72 59 12 1
2928 The wedding is on Zoom, I don’t actually need you, 1.2083 0.05913 72 60 9 3
2929 Was it you who said, “Let them eat cake?” 1.2083 0.05913 72 60 9 3
2930 Cutting is so 2019. 1.2083 0.05573 72 59 11 2
2931 I hoping for one of those- have your cake and eat it too, situations. 1.2083 0.05210 72 58 13 1
2932 If I'm squandered on your bride's face, I'll cut YOU. Dead ass. 1.2083 0.05573 72 59 11 2
2933 You still have time to change your mind 1.2083 0.04820 72 57 15 0
2934 The dance floor was too dangerous for them. 1.2083 0.05210 72 58 13 1
2935 The good news, Charley: she’s calling off the wedding. The bad news: it’s because she’s in love with someone named Harold. 1.2083 0.05573 72 59 11 2
2936 Sorry pal, she’s not coming 1.2083 0.05913 72 60 9 3
2937 Cake talking: “It all starts with a kiss and a promise, and ends up with something you thought was sweet, smeared all over your face.” 1.2083 0.05573 72 59 11 2
2938 if you don’t eat me I’ll help you escape while everyone’s doing the Macarena 1.2083 0.05573 72 59 11 2
2939 Even the dolls get more action than you 1.2083 0.05573 72 59 11 2
2940 Oi, Fred, I know my hair has gotten a little out of hand, but there was no need to put me in a dress!? 1.2083 0.05210 72 58 13 1
2941 Sorry, you missed your opportunity to object. But, at least there's cake. 1.2083 0.05573 72 59 11 2
2942 Honey I think the wedding stress finally got to me, 1.2083 0.05573 72 59 11 2
2943 till death do us part, rent shall keep us together 1.2083 0.05573 72 59 11 2
2944 Bride sold separately 1.2083 0.05573 72 59 11 2
2945 But three’s a crowd 1.2083 0.05210 72 58 13 1
2946 the bride couldnt make it due to COVID 1.2083 0.05913 72 60 9 3
2947 You can still have a cake in 2020; you just can’t eat. 1.2083 0.04612 72 58 12 1
2948 6 feet distance please 1.2083 0.05210 72 57 13 1
2949 Do you think I looked fat? I think I looked fat. 1.2083 0.04820 72 57 15 0
2950 Listen, if you wanna consummate this marriage later, walk away 1.2083 0.05210 72 58 13 1
2951 Let them cake. 1.2083 0.05913 72 60 9 3
2952 Karen seems to take her celiac disease very seriously... 1.2083 0.05913 72 60 9 3
2953 What, you thought I only do Bar Mitzvahs? 1.2083 0.05913 72 60 9 3
2954 Are these two going to get us in trouble with Cuomo? 1.2083 0.04612 72 59 12 1
2955 I’d ask you to smile to match my decor, but at least you’re actually here. 1.2083 0.04820 72 57 15 0
2956 Guess this is better than sitting at a table next to the kitchen. 🍽 1.2083 0.04820 72 57 15 0
2957 I think I can get him to cover for you, if you wanna duck out now 1.2083 0.05573 72 59 11 2
2958 damn, i really gained quarantine weight 1.2083 0.05913 72 60 9 3
2959 Well you said the other night that you wished I was sweeter 1.2083 0.05573 72 59 11 2
2960 How could she leave me on our wedding day?? 1.2083 0.05573 72 59 11 2
2961 Always a groomsman, never best man. 1.2083 0.05210 72 58 13 1
2962 ‘Rub my intestines on her face, Paul.’ 1.2083 0.06235 72 61 7 4
2963 I still can’t wrap my head around this 1.2083 0.05573 72 59 11 2
2964 A wizard in the parking lot turned me into a cake. 1.2083 0.05573 72 59 11 2
2965 Holy shit! A talking cake! 1.2083 0.05573 72 59 11 2
2966 Would YOU like it if I stood on your head, sweating profusely? 1.2078 0.04654 77 61 16 0
2967 I’m what you call a perdition pastry. 1.2055 0.05146 73 59 13 1
2968 Not to worry, they are just social distancing until the vows. 1.2055 0.05503 73 60 11 2
2969 Cheater! 1.2055 0.05503 73 60 11 2
2970 Hi, let's get started! The switch is on the back. Then just ask for a slice 1.2055 0.05146 73 59 13 1
2971 Do weddings always make people Tier Up? 1.2055 0.05146 73 59 13 1
2972 I tried to tell you, you’ll be sorry... 1.2055 0.05146 73 59 13 1
2973 I wouldn't give you two six months. 1.2055 0.04762 73 58 15 0
2974 Make sure you smear her good, it's your last chance. 1.2055 0.05839 73 61 9 3
2975 You can't eat this Kate and have Edith too. 1.2055 0.05503 73 60 11 2
2976 Not even your edibles can save you now. 1.2055 0.05503 73 60 11 2
2977 Don’t feel bad. The groom’s cake didn’t show up either. 1.2055 0.05503 73 60 11 2
2978 Though his family was very traditional, Todd was never really a fan of edible arrangements. 1.2055 0.05146 73 59 13 1
2979 I didn’t want this either. 1.2055 0.05839 73 61 9 3
2980 I may deserve this but i deserve a piece of cake too 1.2055 0.05503 73 60 11 2
2981 Do I have crumbs on my face?” “Uhh...just a Couple. 1.2055 0.05503 73 60 11 2
2982 I have a knife baked inside of me. You and me should make a break for it. 1.2048 0.05073 83 68 13 2
2983 If I look so beautiful, then why are they going to slice me into pieces? 1.2029 0.04877 69 55 14 0
2984 C'mon it's your cue! Get into position! 1.2029 0.05684 69 57 10 2
2985 Wait 'till they discover you can't have your cake and eat it, too 1.2029 0.05684 69 57 10 2
2986 I use it to scare guys away from eating me 1.2029 0.04877 69 55 14 0
2987 That Buddy the Cake Boss really is talented isn’t he? 1.2029 0.05684 69 57 10 2
2988 Dude, I wouldn't trade my future for yours. 1.2029 0.05296 69 56 12 1
2989 At least I won't die alone. 1.2029 0.04877 69 55 14 0
2990 I married her for you, baby. 1.2029 0.05296 69 56 12 1
2991 Oi Vey! 1.2029 0.05684 69 57 10 2
2992 She got cold feet from icing them. 1.2029 0.05684 69 57 10 2
2993 Leave now and I promise you all the cupcakes you’ll ever want. 1.2029 0.05296 69 56 12 1
2994 Step away from the cake—she’s taken. 1.2029 0.06047 69 58 8 3
2995 PSST! If you want video of the honeymoon night, text me. 1.2029 0.04170 69 56 13 0
2996 I'm a light honey cake with hints of coffee and orange juice, pretty as I am delicious. 1.2029 0.06047 69 58 8 3
2997 Shrunk with Love! 1.2029 0.05684 69 57 10 2
2998 You think it was easy to climb down from there? 1.2029 0.04877 69 55 14 0
2999 I told them I was a bottom. 1.2029 0.06047 69 58 8 3
3000 Does anyone think that any caption to this question equals the poor decision to offer it as a possible test? 1.2029 0.05684 69 57 10 2
3001 My marriage advice is not to try to have your cake and eat it, too. 1.2029 0.05684 69 57 10 2
3002 It’s my cake and I’ll eat it too. 1.2029 0.06047 69 58 8 3
3003 Sure, but imagine realizing you’re nothing more than a fancy cupcake? 1.2029 0.05296 69 56 12 1
3004 Hi, sailor. 1.2029 0.05296 69 56 12 1
3005 This is the last time you can have your cake and eat it. Things will be different from now on. 1.2029 0.05684 69 57 10 2
3006 It's all a result of machine learning you know. 1.2029 0.05684 69 57 10 2
3007 You're surprised? You should see the face on the cake below you!" 1.2029 0.05296 69 56 12 1
3008 You groomed her so this next marriage is a piece of cake. 1.2029 0.05296 69 56 12 1
3009 I feel like I've been put on ice 1.2029 0.05296 69 56 12 1
3010 Dare you to eat me first! 1.2029 0.05296 69 56 12 1
3011 Psst! I got this one weird trick for losing 10 pounds in an afternoon. 1.2029 0.05296 69 56 12 1
3012 You knew a wedding cake was always my aspiration. 1.2029 0.05684 69 57 10 2
3013 You can imagine how I feel with this ugly hat on. Congratulations, by the way. 1.2029 0.03316 69 57 12 0
3014 Too much? 1.2029 0.05296 69 56 12 1
3015 Is that what I really look like? 1.2029 0.05684 69 57 10 2
3016 You take one slice out of me and I’ll tell your new wife exactly what happened to that poor young girl in the boathouse in August 1998. 1.2029 0.05296 69 56 12 1
3017 This gig ain’t so bad. I heard stories in the bakery of how some humans like to torture us with fire before we get eaten. 1.2029 0.05296 69 56 12 1
3018 You want to smash me, don’t you? 1.2029 0.06047 69 58 8 3
3019 Making it Gender Neutral would be the Icing on the Cake 1.2029 0.04877 69 55 14 0
3020 Will you tell your little brother and his friend to get off my frosting?" 1.2029 0.05684 69 57 10 2
3021 She didn't tell you? 1.2029 0.04877 69 55 14 0
3022 Something about this just doesn't compute... 1.2029 0.05296 69 56 12 1
3023 who wore it best? 1.2029 0.05684 69 57 10 2
3024 No worries, I got layered this morning and you will get layed tonight. 1.2029 0.06047 69 58 8 3
3025 ‘ I’m fine with “ To have and to hold.” But, you can’t have me and eat me! 1.2029 0.04877 69 55 14 0
3026 Pssst! Do ya wanna know the end of this story? 1.2029 0.05296 69 56 12 1
3027 Moment on the lips... 1.2029 0.04877 69 55 14 0
3028 We're celebrating National Lilliputian Day. 1.2029 0.05684 69 57 10 2
3029 Yeah, the top layer gets saved for their anniversary, but I'm about to get slaughtered. 1.2029 0.06047 69 58 8 3
3030 I know it doesn't look too impressive but I was a finalist on The Great British Baking Show" 1.2029 0.05296 69 56 12 1
3031 Don’t even think of smearing me on her face. 1.2029 0.05296 69 56 12 1
3032 It’s a Zoom wedding so back off, pal. 1.2029 0.04877 69 55 14 0
3033 You can have your cake, but do you really have to eat it too? 1.2029 0.05684 69 57 10 2
3034 It takes longer to put on a marzipan gown than your plain vanilla tux! 1.2029 0.05684 69 57 10 2
3035 "No dessert until you’ve said your vows. 1.2029 0.04877 69 55 14 0
3036 It’s either this or, have a bunch of candles drip wax all over my icing! 1.2029 0.04877 69 55 14 0
3037 Thumbelina, I take you to be my wife, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health. In the presence of Will Ferrell I make this vow. 1.2029 0.06047 69 58 8 3
3038 You do know she'll leave you for someone less cliche. 1.2029 0.05296 69 56 12 1
3039 If you think you’ve been occupying my head-space rent free, think again. 1.2029 0.05296 69 56 12 1
3040 Why do they always freeze the top layer? What am I, chopped liver? 1.2029 0.05684 69 57 10 2
3041 No masks, no social distancing. Next thing you know, they’ll be naked. And you want to eat this thing? 1.2029 0.05296 69 56 12 1
3042 Let him eat cake" I heard her say - in a Marie Antoinette kind of way 1.2029 0.05684 69 57 10 2
3043 Marriages are like cakes, my friend. Some are sweet; some turn sour; but with the right ingredients, they’re yummy. 1.2029 0.05684 69 57 10 2
3044 of course the joke in this one is that the guy is himself a cake man stood on a larger cake being observed by a much larger man who is himself a cake man & on into infinity 1.2029 0.06047 69 58 8 3
3045 I’m telling’ ya, if you take a good look, it’s your best man that’s been cheat’n on ya” 1.2029 0.05296 69 56 12 1
3046 Get Out! 1.2029 0.05684 69 57 10 2
3047 Whoa, whoa... Ask yourself what any of this will accomplish. 1.2029 0.05296 69 56 12 1
3048 Hay, you just said you wanted to *have* a cake. You never said anything about wanting to eat me too. 1.2029 0.05684 69 57 10 2
3049 Sorry, bud, the job's been filled. 1.2029 0.05684 69 57 10 2
3050 You don't suppose there's anyone out there for me, do you? 1.2029 0.06047 69 58 8 3
3051 This frosting is killing me. 1.2029 0.06047 69 58 8 3
3052 Sorry, Mr. Schwartz. This cake is for the DiNapoli wedding. 1.2029 0.05296 69 56 12 1
3053 I'm a complicated cake, I've got many layers. 1.2029 0.05684 69 57 10 2
3054 Yeah, it's cake tiers all the way down. 1.2029 0.04877 69 55 14 0
3055 You've always known that married life isn't a piece of cake, and yet here we are. 1.2029 0.05684 69 57 10 2
3056 As it turns out, cake is the foundation of a strong marriage. 1.2029 0.05296 69 56 12 1
3057 This is probably one of those cancel culture attacks. 1.2029 0.05684 69 57 10 2
3058 I'm actually a master ventriloquist. "I take thee Rachel" is a real crowd pleaser. 1.2029 0.05684 69 57 10 2
3059 Uh... I ate her. 1.2029 0.05684 69 57 10 2
3060 Honestly, I liked Caroline better. 1.2029 0.04877 69 55 14 0
3061 Sweetie? 1.2029 0.05684 69 57 10 2
3062 Level 3 Tier, Sir. Please step back. 1.2029 0.04877 69 55 14 0
3063 It gets better with time 1.2029 0.05296 69 56 12 1
3064 One minute on the lips and your whole life is over. 1.2029 0.05296 69 56 12 1
3065 Scrapped 2020 Wedding Themes: Have Your Cake and Greet It Too 1.2029 0.05684 69 57 10 2
3066 Keep it short. I hear there’s gonna be some ladyfingers at the afterparty. 1.2029 0.05296 69 56 12 1
3067 It was hard to hear as she ran away, but I think she said you should take me to prom instead. 1.2029 0.05296 69 56 12 1
3068 I want you to know it was me 1.2029 0.04877 69 55 14 0
3069 When you take a picture of the cake, make sure it’s of my right side. That’s definitely my better side. 1.2029 0.05684 69 57 10 2
3070 Are you sure of the step you're about to take... to ask your mother-in-law to dance? 1.2029 0.05296 69 56 12 1
3071 Manifesting can only get you so far, ted 1.2029 0.04877 69 55 14 0
3072 Why do I look like Seth Rogan 1.2029 0.04877 69 55 14 0
3073 That’s right, babe. You can eat me too. 1.2029 0.05296 69 56 12 1
3074 No I don’t need a urine sample now! I needed it yesterday!! 1.2027 0.05766 74 62 9 3
3075 It's not you, it's me... I have celiac disease. 1.2024 0.05297 84 70 11 3
3076 Hey buddy, could you help us out here? They are a little stuck. 1.2024 0.04724 84 68 15 1
3077 Oh No Mr. Bill 1.2000 0.05228 70 57 12 1
3078 Listen Buster, you can't have your cake and eat it! 1.2000 0.06003 75 64 7 4
3079 So you would have preferred a bride instead of a talking cake? 1.2000 0.05228 70 57 12 1
3080 Don't you push the cake in her face, ‘Hell Hath No Fury Like A Woman Scorned’ 1.2000 0.05610 70 58 10 2
3081 I'm a Devil's Food Pre-Nup pastry, to sweeten the deal. 1.2000 0.04815 70 56 14 0
3082 Hey Buddy, bite me! 1.2000 0.04815 70 56 14 0
3083 Would you please tell me why both of you are refusing to look at me! 1.2000 0.04815 70 56 14 0
3084 Buffy, is that you!? 1.2000 0.05610 70 58 10 2
3085 No offense, but the speech was a bit dry. 1.2000 0.05228 70 57 12 1
3086 Now THAT takes the cake! 1.2000 0.05967 70 59 8 3
3087 Top 'er the morning, Mr.! 1.2000 0.05228 70 57 12 1
3088 I could have been a figure! 1.2000 0.05610 70 58 10 2
3089 When I saw the topper,I thought you would be better looking. 1.2000 0.05610 70 58 10 2
3090 The real topper is that you can't eat me." 1.2000 0.04839 80 65 14 1
3091 Yeah-Sometimes I’m the only witness” 1.2000 0.04815 70 56 14 0
3092 Carl froze. "Deep down, Trevor's a good boy," she said. "It's just a phase," she said. "You'll love being a stepfather," she said. But Carl already did NOT love being a stepfather. No. He was going to find Trevor. And he was going to kill him. 1.2000 0.05610 70 58 10 2
3093 I’ll give you ten bucks if you don’t let anyone eat me 1.2000 0.05228 70 57 12 1
3094 I’m afraid she ran off with a simple double decker. 1.2000 0.05228 70 57 12 1
3095 Hey, this was your idea in the first place. 1.2000 0.05610 70 58 10 2
3096 Can you promise to eat the saved slice of me a year from now ONLY if this pandemic is over? 1.2000 0.05228 70 57 12 1
3097 Of course he doesn't look like you. We needed an attractive figurine. 1.2000 0.05610 70 58 10 2
3098 I know it ‘sounds’ like a pyramid scheme... 1.2000 0.05610 70 58 10 2
3099 Is it too late to just be friends? 1.2000 0.04650 75 60 15 0
3100 You see, Phil, this is just a representational model of the three-tiered abyss waiting for you. See you at the reception! 1.2000 0.05610 70 58 10 2
3101 Oh you’re excited for the big day? Well I’m not, you unconscionably wicked human. 1.2000 0.05228 70 57 12 1
3102 You eat me now, years later you will realise its actually me that ate you.” - cak 1.2000 0.04815 70 56 14 0
3103 Beat it wedding singer, I do the singing too 1.2000 0.04965 85 70 13 2
3104 The moment Carl realized he was in love not with Julie, but with cake-topper Julie was an intense one. #loveatfirstbite #thefarceofmarriage 1.2000 0.05228 70 57 12 1
3105 Now, we both get spared! 1.2000 0.05228 70 57 12 1
3106 Look, if you wanted them together, you should've picked the Masked Edition. 1.1970 0.05385 66 54 11 1
3107 With those fake tiers, I'm guessing you're a dummy too! 1.1940 0.04868 67 54 13 0
3108 How the hell do we get down from here? 1.1940 0.05312 67 55 11 1
3109 Look, but don’t touch. We’re not married yet.” 1.1940 0.04868 67 54 13 0
3110 What kind of frosting do you call THAT? 1.1940 0.06104 67 57 7 3
3111 We have to stop meeting like this. This is your 3rd wedding." 1.1940 0.05722 67 56 9 2
3112 Psst! You still have time to slip out the back door. 1.1940 0.05722 67 56 9 2
3113 "She's in the limo with the best man and she said if I snitch, she'll cut me into little pieces!" 1.1940 0.05312 67 55 11 1
3114 Hey, bro, can you get this couple off my back? They’ve been arguing all day about whether or not this cake is haunted. 1.1940 0.05312 67 55 11 1
3115 You’re hosed 1.1940 0.04630 67 56 9 1
3116 This is the wrong wedding. I’m gay. 1.1940 0.05312 67 55 11 1
3117 There's a lot of layers to this. 1.1940 0.05722 67 56 9 2
3118 I've done my part. The rest is on you. 1.1940 0.04868 67 54 13 0
3119 Yes, Bob... you are one of the first to realize it. I am your CREATOR, Royal Icing Banana Cream Wedding Cake! 1.1940 0.05312 67 55 11 1
3120 I don't care if your friends and family are watching, you cut me and there will be dire consequences. 1.1940 0.04868 67 54 13 0
3121 They’ll never understand our love 1.1940 0.05722 67 56 9 2
3122 When you said you wanted 2 on top they clearly misunderstood. 1.1940 0.04868 67 54 13 0
3123 Psst, I want to object to them being married. 1.1940 0.04868 67 54 13 0
3124 You and your lady friend are ruining my layers! 1.1940 0.05312 67 55 11 1
3125 Are you sure about this? 1.1940 0.05722 67 56 9 2
3126 You should have held on tight for she is obviously flighty one." 1.1940 0.01828 67 55 10 0
3127 I know you're nervous but accept advice from this three-tiered buttercream frosted vanilla cake and get out before you commit violence with a knife. 1.1940 0.05312 67 55 11 1
3128 The job is a piece of cake 1.1940 0.04868 67 54 13 0
3129 are you sure you want to do this? 1.1940 0.05722 67 56 9 2
3130 Sorry, wrong wedding. You ordered the cake with two grooms. 1.1940 0.05722 67 56 9 2
3131 You can't have your cake and eat it too! 1.1940 0.04868 67 54 13 0
3132 Listen, I hate to do this to you on your big day, but I have to tell you something. Your wife...she...she's been licking her lips and staring at me all day. I just thought you should know what kind of woman your're getting yourself mixed up with. 1.1940 0.05722 67 56 9 2
3133 I always hate this part. 1.1940 0.04868 67 54 13 0
3134 It's a good thing I brought a gun to this knife fight. 1.1940 0.05312 67 55 11 1
3135 Why is she already yelling at me? 1.1940 0.05312 67 55 11 1
3136 I only realize now, far too late, it is the cake I love. 1.1940 0.05312 67 55 11 1
3137 Jared Kushner doesn't realize the topper of his own wedding cake is inedible - Satire from The Algorithm Borowitz 1.1940 0.06104 67 57 7 3
3138 Sorry, there's no room for a Best Man. 1.1940 0.05722 67 56 9 2
3139 ..and remember, it's bad luck to serve cake at your wedding. 1.1940 0.04868 67 54 13 0
3140 Are you sure she's going to up this time, or is it back in the freezer again? 1.1940 0.05312 67 55 11 1
3141 Psst. Don’t let them cut me, Bro. 1.1940 0.05722 67 56 9 2
3142 I give it three months. 1.1940 0.05722 67 56 9 2
3143 Find your own cake, one groom is enough for me" 1.1940 0.05722 67 56 9 2
3144 Weddings always give me anxiety, like people are standing all over me. 1.1940 0.05312 67 55 11 1
3145 Spare the cake cutting tradition and I’ll tell you how to make babies. 1.1940 0.05722 67 56 9 2
3146 There's no accounting for taste." 1.1940 0.05312 67 55 11 1
3147 You're gay, aren't you? 1.1940 0.05722 67 56 9 2
3148 "Please tell me that the figurines on top are of opposite sexes. 1.1940 0.05722 67 56 9 2
3149 An unusual way to celebrate a legal separation, isn't it? 1.1940 0.04868 67 54 13 0
3150 The Best Man looks very unhappy, I guess he wanted to be with the bride 1.1940 0.04868 67 54 13 0
3151 She said she had to go and would be back in about 14 days. 1.1940 0.05722 67 56 9 2
3152 Please social distance. 1.1940 0.06104 67 57 7 3
3153 Hey Bud. Don't let them cut me! 1.1940 0.04868 67 54 13 0
3154 Feel free to sneak a bite—your figurine is heavier than it looks. 1.1940 0.04868 67 54 13 0
3155 Run while you can!! 1.1940 0.05722 67 56 9 2
3156 Life was so much easier as a cake topper. 1.1940 0.04868 67 54 13 0
3157 Don't feel so bad...you can always have a piece of cake instead 1.1940 0.05312 67 55 11 1
3158 You have girly hair. 1.1940 0.05722 67 56 9 2
3159 They'll be divorced in 3 years. What's your guess? 1.1940 0.05722 67 56 9 2
3160 More tiers lead to more tears. 1.1940 0.05312 67 55 11 1
3161 I didn't realize she was already out of prison. I thought manslaughter sentences were longer. 1.1940 0.06104 67 57 7 3
3162 Anyone up for plus one? Big guy? 1.1940 0.04868 67 54 13 0
3163 Can you get on with it? I hate weddings. 1.1940 0.05312 67 55 11 1
3164 Please save my layer in a freezer with Covid vaccines 1.1940 0.06104 67 57 7 3
3165 The wind picked her and pitched her over the fence. 1.1940 0.04868 67 54 13 0
3166 I'm an AI cake. Just say what you want me to do. 1.1940 0.05722 67 56 9 2
3167 The bakers' wedding was beautiful, until it came time for the groom to cut the cake. 1.1940 0.05722 67 56 9 2
3168 I knew I forgot something! 1.1940 0.06104 67 57 7 3
3169 You talkin' to me?! 1.1940 0.04868 67 54 13 0
3170 I hope they eat all the way down to this level and set me free! I'm the ex-boyfriend and its hot in here ! 1.1940 0.05722 67 56 9 2
3171 For once the both of us are not salty! 1.1940 0.04868 67 54 13 0
3172 I am deeply sorry she broke off the engagement, but on the bright side...well, actually, there is no bright side. Your life sucks. You are a loser. I can't stand looking at you. You make me sick. Please leave, now. 1.1940 0.05095 67 56 8 2
3173 Don't even think about climbing up here, too! 1.1940 0.05722 67 56 9 2
3174 Don't worry the cake topper makes you look 10 pounds heavier. 1.1940 0.04868 67 54 13 0
3175 You look stiffer than my guy 1.1940 0.04868 67 54 13 0
3176 Hey... cake, why are my feet so cold? 1.1940 0.05312 67 55 11 1
3177 You want a real surprise? Look down, buddy. 1.1940 0.04868 67 54 13 0
3178 She's left with your best man. 1.1940 0.06104 67 57 7 3
3179 Douglas isn’t going to like this. 1.1940 0.05722 67 56 9 2
3180 Yup...you may be on top of your world today, But that’s how you’re going to look in 40 years.” 1.1940 0.05722 67 56 9 2
3181 She's still looking for a dress to match her mask. 1.1940 0.04868 67 54 13 0
3182 Hunt continues for giant cake-eating mouse. 1.1940 0.05312 67 55 11 1
3183 I can't have it and eat it too... Maybe it's a sign I shouldn't get married. 1.1940 0.05312 67 55 11 1
3184 Is it too late to object to this union? 1.1940 0.06104 67 57 7 3
3185 Don't! Size matters! 1.1940 0.05312 67 55 11 1
3186 I hope they don't think marriage is a piece of cake.. 1.1940 0.05312 67 55 11 1
3187 He wants to know if you’re sugar-free 1.1940 0.05722 67 56 9 2
3188 Don't get too close and nobody gets hurt ! 1.1940 0.05722 67 56 9 2
3189 Taking her off the top will not stop the wedding. 1.1940 0.05722 67 56 9 2
3190 It’s uncertain isn’t it? 1.1940 0.06104 67 57 7 3
3191 We take the burden and get no glory. 1.1940 0.05722 67 56 9 2
3192 You've never been to a Wicca wedding? 1.1940 0.05722 67 56 9 2
3193 Wait for your wife 1.1940 0.06104 67 57 7 3
3194 They aren't observing social distance and have no masks. Is it safe to eat the cake? 1.1940 0.05312 67 55 11 1
3195 The last thing I remember was Bridezillas. 1.1940 0.05722 67 56 9 2
3196 If you try to warn them I’ll buttercream you! 1.1940 0.05312 67 55 11 1
3197 I am the best man,why do you ask? 1.1940 0.05312 67 55 11 1
3198 Be true to yourself, I am the one you love! 1.1940 0.05312 67 55 11 1
3199 Fred, don't look at me--I didn't forget. I just grant wishes. 1.1940 0.05312 67 55 11 1
3200 I know your feet are icy, but you have to stop moving 1.1940 0.04868 67 54 13 0
3201 No. It ain't a piece o' cake. 1.1940 0.05722 67 56 9 2
3202 I know you're mad she left. C'mon now, take a bite before I change my mind. 1.1940 0.05312 67 55 11 1
3203 They must have mixed up the photos, she looks like my mother. 1.1940 0.05722 67 56 9 2
3204 But you said you loved me-- you can't have your cake and eat it too! 1.1940 0.04868 67 54 13 0
3205 You are the icing on the cake 1.1940 0.04868 67 54 13 0
3206 Well I'm not buying that female figurine ... are you? 1.1940 0.05312 67 55 11 1
3207 “Since she left you at the altar, I guess that makes me a deserted dessert!” 1.1940 0.06464 67 58 5 4
3208 I’m a casual friendship cake. 1.1940 0.04868 67 54 13 0
3209 Hey, the groom is facing the wrong way! 1.1940 0.05312 67 55 11 1
3210 This is terrible... I hate chocolate cake. 1.1940 0.05312 67 55 11 1
3211 That could have bern me. Why is he marrying her? 1.1940 0.05312 67 55 11 1
3212 Remember, on the big day, easy with the knife. 1.1940 0.05722 67 56 9 2
3213 Sorry, pal...she likes short guys. 1.1940 0.05312 67 55 11 1
3214 Marriage probably won't be a piece of cake. 1.1940 0.05722 67 56 9 2
3215 You can't have your tux and eato too 1.1940 0.04868 67 54 13 0
3216 These events always have me in tiers. 1.1940 0.05312 67 55 11 1
3217 Should I replace it with a banana split? 1.1940 0.05722 67 56 9 2
3218 I know, I know, the toppers aren't socially distancing. 1.1940 0.05312 67 55 11 1
3219 "You'll have to wait for the next cake, sir." 1.1940 0.05722 67 56 9 2
3220 But you make me feel ten feet tall! 1.1940 0.05722 67 56 9 2
3221 Well, you know what they say. Something old, something new, something borrowed, something gluten-free... 1.1940 0.06104 67 57 7 3
3222 Left at the altar, again? 1.1940 0.05722 67 56 9 2
3223 I know you’ve come to kill me. Cut, you kill only a cake. 1.1940 0.05312 67 55 11 1
3224 Seeing this let’s me realize having my cake and eating too days are over” 1.1940 0.05312 67 55 11 1
3225 This is my third wedding this month. 1.1940 0.04868 67 54 13 0
3226 so, how do we do this? 1.1940 0.05312 67 55 11 1
3227 You specifically said, "I want a fantastic cake for my bride, so...." 1.1940 0.05312 67 55 11 1
3228 You're letting your sister settle for this dummy? Next to her, he doesn't even hold a candle. 1.1940 0.05312 67 55 11 1
3229 why aren't they wearing masks? 1.1940 0.05312 67 55 11 1
3230 This is a three-tier alert ---Run! 1.1940 0.05312 67 55 11 1
3231 I don’t know why I thought that I should support them. 1.1940 0.05312 67 55 11 1
3232 Maybe Banksy was here. 1.1940 0.05722 67 56 9 2
3233 Bring out the National Guard! Don't you know you're making a mistake? 1.1940 0.05722 67 56 9 2
3234 That's your better side. Quick, switch it. 1.1940 0.05722 67 56 9 2
3235 I give you two 6 months... 1.1940 0.05312 67 55 11 1
3236 Hey wait,who’s that guy? 1.1940 0.05312 67 55 11 1
3237 The pre-nup didn't go so well. 1.1940 0.05312 67 55 11 1
3238 I'm so glad you sent your little brother in your place! 1.1940 0.04868 67 54 13 0
3239 My back started hurting when you added the figurines. 1.1940 0.04868 67 54 13 0
3240 Climb aboard 1.1940 0.05312 67 55 11 1
3241 Hey, you. Down here. Don’t you dare climb up there. I know that’s just what you’re thinking. 1.1940 0.05312 67 55 11 1
3242 My wife should be joining us by ZOOM soon... 1.1940 0.05312 67 55 11 1
3243 Come here often? 1.1940 0.04868 67 54 13 0
3244 You look bigger than I thought you'd be. 1.1940 0.05312 67 55 11 1
3245 Alright I married her, now WE can finally be together. 1.1940 0.05312 67 55 11 1
3246 Social distancing 1.1940 0.05312 67 55 11 1
3247 I have a message from the bride. Smile! 1.1940 0.04868 67 54 13 0
3248 You can't hide here! 1.1940 0.04630 67 56 10 1
3249 Just wait, you're next. 1.1940 0.04868 67 54 13 0
3250 What are you thinking, groom? 1.1940 0.05722 67 56 9 2
3251 What do you mean, you can have a mate and marry her too? 1.1940 0.04112 67 55 12 0
3252 I bet I’ll have tiers of joy by the end of the reception! 1.1940 0.05722 67 56 9 2
3253 I may be petty but you are Small 1.1940 0.05722 67 56 9 2
3254 You’re not losing a daughter, you’re gaining a lazy, unemployed, nest egg eviscerator.” 1.1940 0.06104 67 57 7 3
3255 Forever hold your piece--of cake. 1.1940 0.05312 67 55 11 1
3256 I’m sorry to break it to you but, your thinks I’m sweet 1.1940 0.06104 67 57 7 3
3257 Kiss her you fool! 1.1940 0.04868 67 54 13 0
3258 Mike Pence’s Wedding 1.1940 0.06104 67 57 7 3
3259 Look, we tried to tell you to not introduce yourself to her. 1.1940 0.05312 67 55 11 1
3260 I now pronounce you star baker! 1.1940 0.05312 67 55 11 1
3261 Let that be a lesson to you - you snooze, you lose 1.1940 0.04868 67 54 13 0
3262 Where does the best man stand? 1.1940 0.05312 67 55 11 1
3263 Do Not Jam a Piece of Me Into Her Mouth. 1.1940 0.05312 67 55 11 1
3264 You’re having your first fight. 1.1940 0.04868 67 54 13 0
3265 If it's any consolation, you were the second-best kisser 1.1940 0.05312 67 55 11 1
3266 Sorry, all the LGBTQIA cakes were all cursed to hell. 1.1940 0.05312 67 55 11 1
3267 I’ve been dreading this day. 1.1940 0.05312 67 55 11 1
3268 I think you've been Havishamed. 1.1940 0.05722 67 56 9 2
3269 I’m filing a copywrite infringement! 1.1940 0.05312 67 55 11 1
3270 Oh no,my face is everywhere. 1.1940 0.05722 67 56 9 2
3271 Pssst... don't worry she can't see me, she's turned the other way! 1.1940 0.05722 67 56 9 2
3272 I have to say something. I've always wanted to be more than a cake to you Daniel. 1.1940 0.05722 67 56 9 2
3273 Siri here! Tell the baker his phone's become a wedding present! 1.1940 0.04868 67 54 13 0
3274 This will likely be our final "triple-decker" wedding cake. Next week will begin our "double-decker" specials, whereby the bride and groom will have room to demonstrate proper social distancing. 1.1940 0.05722 67 56 9 2
3275 Have you found a lawyer yet? 1.1940 0.06104 67 57 7 3
3276 Just became we met this way at your cousin's bachelor party doesn't make it romantic! 1.1940 0.04112 67 55 12 0
3277 Man, could you please scratch my bride? 1.1940 0.05722 67 56 9 2
3278 That cake is wrong! The man is always standing on the "right side" in a wedding" 1.1940 0.05722 67 56 9 2
3279 Run for it, Buddy! Sweet love now ends in bitter divorce. 1.1940 0.05312 67 55 11 1
3280 You forgot to cancel once she left didn't you? 1.1940 0.05312 67 55 11 1
3281 Don't freeze me, bro'. 1.1940 0.05312 67 55 11 1
3282 You had your chance but would you shrink yourself....Nooooo! 1.1940 0.05312 67 55 11 1
3283 You were a perfect match! 1.1940 0.05722 67 56 9 2
3284 I don't wanna hear it...my husband is NOT going to like this. 1.1940 0.04868 67 54 13 0
3285 Introduce her to your friends, they said... 1.1940 0.05312 67 55 11 1
3286 Sneak out now and you'll meet a sticky end. 1.1940 0.05312 67 55 11 1
3287 psss - marriage is the number one cause of divorce 1.1940 0.06104 67 57 7 3
3288 Jump off and RUN! 1.1940 0.05312 67 55 11 1
3289 You didn't have to wear your tux. It's only a dress rehearsal. 1.1940 0.05312 67 55 11 1
3290 Surprise! I’m 1.1940 0.05312 67 55 11 1
3291 It could've been you. Have a piece of me. 1.1940 0.05312 67 55 11 1
3292 I'm sorry Fred, but your financee doesn't want to leave the cake! 1.1940 0.04868 67 54 13 0
3293 Shhh! I won't say a word. Now, RUN! 1.1940 0.05312 67 55 11 1
3294 You can't have your cake and eat it, too, is a lie so don't eat me. 1.1940 0.04868 67 54 13 0
3295 LARRY IS STUCK IN A CARTOON WHERE THERE ARE NO OPEN MOUTHS TO INDICATE DIALOGUE. MAYBE THE BOTTOM LAYER OF THE CAKE IS TALKING. THAT'S SILLY—CAKES DON'T TALK. 1.1940 0.05722 67 56 9 2
3296 Eat me Dave! 1.1940 0.04868 67 54 13 0
3297 Wait 'til you see who pops out, just for you! 1.1940 0.05312 67 55 11 1
3298 Ralph volunteered to order the cake. What could have gone wrong? 1.1940 0.05312 67 55 11 1
3299 He doesn't look happy. But why should he be? 1.1940 0.05722 67 56 9 2
3300 Are you seeing someone else? 1.1940 0.05312 67 55 11 1
3301 Beware of enterprises requiring new and ridiculous clothes. 1.1940 0.05722 67 56 9 2
3302 You were supposed to notice you two were equal in size. 1.1940 0.05312 67 55 11 1
3303 I couldn't find my place card, how do I get a slice of the action? 1.1940 0.05722 67 56 9 2
3304 Eat me wisely. Your ordered chocolate. 1.1940 0.05312 67 55 11 1
3305 What the hell are we doing up there? 1.1940 0.05722 67 56 9 2
3306 Don't worry, I always shed tiers on these occasions. 1.1940 0.05722 67 56 9 2
3307 I hate to break it to you! This is my 5th marriage.. and it always ends up the same.. 1.1940 0.04868 67 54 13 0
3308 I knew we shouldn't have ordered from that Colorado cakeshop. 1.1940 0.06104 67 57 7 3
3309 I was a little man in high places back then. 1.1940 0.04112 67 55 12 0
3310 It's not my fault your bride walked up the stairs for another groom. 1.1940 0.04868 67 54 13 0
3311 Bad hair? No, it's a pandemic wedding. 1.1940 0.05312 67 55 11 1
3312 Did'nt you say 'a small wedding?' 1.1940 0.05722 67 56 9 2
3313 She doesn't look anything like me. 1.1940 0.05722 67 56 9 2
3314 It's her second husband but he looks kinda like you. 1.1940 0.04868 67 54 13 0
3315 Oh my God, am I in the future? 1.1940 0.05312 67 55 11 1
3316 Remember, you just vowed to aways be that Little Man on the Cake! 1.1940 0.05312 67 55 11 1
3317 She was looking for a guy with multiple layers. 1.1940 0.05312 67 55 11 1
3318 Face it. Your pie days are over, pal. 1.1940 0.05312 67 55 11 1
3319 Social distance? You aren’t even six inches apart. 1.1940 0.05312 67 55 11 1
3320 So are you and the bride practicing social distancing? 1.1940 0.04868 67 54 13 0
3321 Yes Dear, I will love to have your mother move in with us. 1.1940 0.05312 67 55 11 1
3322 Just waiting till they say "Bottoms up." 1.1940 0.05312 67 55 11 1
3323 What do you think I am, a magic 8-ball? 1.1940 0.05312 67 55 11 1
3324 No one told me that it was going to be groom and groom. 1.1940 0.05722 67 56 9 2
3325 Bill was stood up at his Zoom wedding. 1.1940 0.05722 67 56 9 2
3326 You get a haircut, I think I can bear the weight. 1.1940 0.04868 67 54 13 0
3327 Are you ready for our first cakewalk together? 1.1940 0.04868 67 54 13 0
3328 She says she don’t love you no more? I say stale excuse, no refund. 1.1940 0.05312 67 55 11 1
3329 Since you can't have her cake, you might as well have me... 1.1940 0.05312 67 55 11 1
3330 Yeah, yeah—let’s get this over with. 1.1940 0.05312 67 55 11 1
3331 Psst, heads up. I overheard the bridesmaids laughing about how your bride plans on getting you good in the cake-feeding ceremony!" 1.1940 0.05312 67 55 11 1
3332 I'd take your odds of making it over mine. 1.1940 0.04868 67 54 13 0
3333 Congratulations! Where's the little lady? 1.1940 0.05722 67 56 9 2
3334 Hey, you haven’t lived until you’ve gone gluten-free! 1.1940 0.05312 67 55 11 1
3335 It was a nasty divorce. I can only visit my body on alternate weekends. 1.1940 0.05722 67 56 9 2
3336 I know you really love cake but I’m not ready for a relationship right now. 1.1940 0.05722 67 56 9 2
3337 Weddings always give me the jitters. 1.1940 0.05312 67 55 11 1
3338 This is your last chance,pretend you don't notice and walk away. 1.1940 0.05312 67 55 11 1
3339 Cut me, and you’ll never see that cake topper again! 1.1940 0.04868 67 54 13 0
3340 After they’ve tested negative, we’ll push them together. 1.1940 0.05722 67 56 9 2
3341 I know the bride. She was sweet on me for a while. 1.1940 0.04630 67 56 10 1
3342 No, I'm the dentist! 1.1940 0.05312 67 55 11 1
3343 Is it too late? 1.1940 0.05312 67 55 11 1
3344 « Can I just say how sweet life was before you put a knife in my heart? » 1.1940 0.05722 67 56 9 2
3345 Not worth the calories.. 1.1940 0.05312 67 55 11 1
3346 She didn’t look like her profile picture at all 1.1940 0.05312 67 55 11 1
3347 you know what I want, throw it over here 1.1940 0.05312 67 55 11 1
3348 Have your own cake or eat it all. It's 2020, no one is judging! 1.1940 0.05722 67 56 9 2
3349 The cake and I had a moment 1.1940 0.05312 67 55 11 1
3350 If only it was that simple! 1.1940 0.04868 67 54 13 0
3351 She used to be my girlfriend, we actually got married in the playground, our 6 year old classmate Ben was witnessing 1.1940 0.04868 67 53 13 0
3352 She left to find someone who looks a little more like him 1.1940 0.05722 67 56 9 2
3353 Don’t worry, I’ll be your plus one 1.1940 0.04868 67 54 13 0
3354 Oh yes I'll smile, Can't a cake be happy for it's life that the bride just saved 1.1940 0.05312 67 55 11 1
3355 I had a wife too. 1.1940 0.04868 67 54 13 0
3356 So, is this me in another life with my wife? 1.1940 0.05312 67 55 11 1
3357 If you wanted to surprise me by popping out of a cake, you were supposed to hide inside a fake one, not put your face inside one. 1.1940 0.05722 67 55 9 2
3358 I want you deep in my frost 1.1940 0.04868 67 54 13 0
3359 The moment Josh realized Uncle Mort’s comment about a “super spread” at the wedding wasn’t a compliment... 1.1940 0.05312 67 55 11 1
3360 OMG! He doesn't look like me at all 1.1940 0.05312 67 55 11 1
3361 Whatever happened to "I want to have my cake & eat it too." 1.1940 0.05312 67 55 11 1
3362 Does my hair really look like that? 1.1940 0.05312 67 55 11 1
3363 Not before you say “I do” 1.1940 0.05312 67 55 11 1
3364 I’m sure she’s just in quarantine. 1.1940 0.05312 67 55 11 1
3365 Now I’ll have my cake and eat it too 1.1940 0.06104 67 57 7 3
3366 when trying to escape your wedding, dont have an identical wedding topper 1.1940 0.05312 67 55 11 1
3367 That could be me and you if you play your cards right" -cak 1.1940 0.05312 67 55 11 1
3368 Well..the third circle of hell WAS gluttony, where are the other six? 1.1940 0.05722 67 56 9 2
3369 Wanna piece of me??? 1.1940 0.05722 67 56 9 2
3370 He looks so happy 1.1940 0.05722 67 56 9 2
3371 Where’s the social distance? 1.1940 0.05312 67 55 11 1
3372 Yes but if you ate me now, you’d be demoted to second-best-man. 1.1940 0.04868 67 54 13 0
3373 The cake was talking to me: “... I just think you could do better.” 1.1940 0.05722 67 56 9 2
3374 Sorry buddy, I’m not gluten-free. 1.1940 0.04868 67 54 13 0
3375 I wonder if they will live happily ever after. 1.1940 0.04868 67 52 13 0
3376 That looks an awful lot like me... I hope I wake up soon 1.1940 0.05312 67 55 11 1
3377 Every night they come alive to add another layer of frosting. 1.1940 0.04868 67 54 13 0
3378 She said I look better with my mask on 1.1940 0.05312 67 55 11 1
3379 Men are always late to something women have understood within, for a long time. 1.1940 0.01828 67 57 10 0
3380 On the bright side, I heard the baker is single 1.1940 0.05722 67 56 9 2
3381 You’re wife left with the caterer and all you got was this lousy comic 1.1940 0.05722 67 56 9 2
3382 I give it a month. 1.1940 0.05312 67 55 11 1
3383 Oh man, they forgot to deliver the wife, too! 1.1940 0.05312 67 55 11 1
3384 Cheer up! You'll be getting cake! 1.1940 0.05312 67 55 11 1
3385 „You know, it’s always a matter of To Have or To Be? You can’t choose both, man” 1.1940 0.05312 67 55 11 1
3386 Being the model was enough for my diet 1.1940 0.04868 67 54 13 0
3387 Gathering limitations changed and the bride didn’t make the cut 1.1940 0.05722 67 56 9 2
3388 How many times do I have to say it? Stay SIX feet apart. 1.1940 0.05312 67 55 11 1
3389 Good luck fitting in your tux after eating me 1.1940 0.04868 67 54 13 0
3390 The bride is quarantined, she couldnt make it 1.1940 0.05722 67 56 9 2
3391 'Zoom wedding it, bride waiting online.' 1.1940 0.05722 67 56 9 2
3392 Where is his wife tho? -Cake 1.1940 0.04868 67 54 13 0
3393 No, the saying is, 'You can have your cake and be it, too!' 1.1940 0.04868 67 54 13 0
3394 You're drunk, buddy. You gotta Cha-Cha slide with the group. 1.1940 0.05312 67 55 11 1
3395 Hey, I just get cut apart today; you’ve got 50 years of it coming. 1.1940 0.05312 67 55 11 1
3396 Excuse me, Sir? Do you believe in a life after wedding? 1.1940 0.05722 67 56 9 2
3397 Why does a virtual wedding cake cost as much as a real one? 1.1940 0.05722 67 56 9 2
3398 It was cheaper to dress like the cake than to dress the cake like me. 1.1940 0.05312 67 55 11 1
3399 I specifically asked them to make me look taller on the wedding toppers” 1.1940 0.05312 67 55 11 1
3400 Quarantine got the best of you two, but that doesn’t me we can’t celebrate. 1.1940 0.05312 67 55 11 1
3401 Everybody thinks it's special for them, but the cake is the same. So is the frosting. 1.1940 0.04868 67 54 13 0
3402 Don’t get nervous about the ceremony - it’ll be a piece of cake! 1.1940 0.04868 67 54 13 0
3403 I’m sorry she didn’t show....You can just have at me with your hands if you’d like. 1.1940 0.05312 67 55 11 1
3404 For the last time, no, I don’t know the ‘I’m just a bill’ guy. 1.1940 0.05722 67 56 9 2
3405 Unfortunately Ralph’s time machine only went back ten seconds. 1.1940 0.05312 67 55 11 1
3406 The cake reminded the groom that the first cut is the deepest. 1.1940 0.04868 67 54 13 0
3407 Hold it there, four fingers. This isn’t Jenga. 1.1940 0.04630 67 56 10 1
3408 So you’re the guy I’ve been holding up this time. Not what I was expecting 1.1940 0.05312 67 55 11 1
3409 My worst tiers have been confirmed 1.1940 0.05312 67 55 11 1
3410 were gonna need to spread them out a little bit 1.1940 0.05312 67 55 11 1
3411 Her attendance would’ve put us over the gathering threshold 1.1940 0.03182 67 55 11 0
3412 Well one of us is going to have to change 1.1940 0.05722 67 56 9 2
3413 My god, is that gluten free icing? 1.1940 0.04868 67 54 13 0
3414 Yup, we're both on the same plate... We will be eaten soon. 1.1940 0.04868 67 54 13 0
3415 It’s just you and me. 1.1928 0.04681 83 68 14 1
3416 Please stay six feet back.We are reproducing. 1.1912 0.05644 68 57 9 2
3417 Aren't you forgetting something? 1.1912 0.05241 68 56 11 1
3418 Kiss me and this will all go away. 1.1912 0.04804 68 55 13 0
3419 There's a pandemic, you idiot, for the love of God postpone your wedding! 1.1912 0.05644 68 57 9 2
3420 The boys back at the bakery suggest yeast.” 1.1912 0.04804 68 55 13 0
3421 You know, you really should be wearing a mask. 1.1912 0.05644 68 57 9 2
3422 I now pronounce thee man and wife. Kiss thyself and eat the cake. 1.1912 0.05241 68 56 11 1
3423 Until Life Do Us Part came sooner than expected... 1.1912 0.05644 68 57 9 2
3424 Bad news - she said Yes. 1.1912 0.05644 68 57 9 2
3425 How you holdin’ up? 1.1912 0.05644 68 57 9 2
3426 I don't think this is what they meant by "tier jerker." 1.1912 0.05644 68 57 9 2
3427 How many Weight Watchers points is this? 1.1912 0.05644 68 57 9 2
3428 I always get a little 'tiered' up at weddings. 1.1912 0.05241 68 56 11 1
3429 You wish you were me 1.1912 0.04570 68 57 10 1
3430 Stop it! I’m not a loser or sucker. 1.1884 0.05172 69 57 11 1
3431 She's in the next room because some idiot thought I was the scale the banquet hall was supposed to build to. It has nothing to do with the pandemic! 1.1884 0.04742 69 56 13 0
3432 Turn around and let me see that cake talk. 1.1884 0.04742 69 56 13 0
3433 What are you complaining about? At least you are on top of the cake! 1.1882 0.05157 85 72 10 3
3434 Who cares about the wedding. This is your cake day. 1.1875 0.04917 64 52 12 0
3435 She wanted me to tell you, "You can't have your cake and eat it too!" 1.1875 0.05398 64 53 10 1
3436 Don’t worry pal, it’s proportionately accurate. 1.1875 0.04917 64 52 12 0
3437 I am sorry George, I know you are the groom and all, but as a Disney employee you are contractually obligated to fall onto me during the reception. 1.1875 0.05398 64 53 10 1
3438 After all, he is the Best Man. 1.1875 0.04917 64 52 12 0
3439 Honey, the good news is that I was able to make it here on time using that teleporter I’ve been working on. 1.1875 0.05840 64 54 8 2
3440 Expressive cake artistry is speech, so yes, I object to your marriage. 1.1875 0.05398 64 53 10 1
3441 Marie said she's sorry she bailed on you. She just lost her head. 1.1875 0.04917 64 52 12 0
3442 We all know you're not actually taller than your bride. 1.1875 0.04917 64 52 12 0
3443 Oh, I've actually been quarantining for the last few weeks. My test came back positive. 1.1875 0.05840 64 54 8 2
3444 redrum 1.1875 0.06250 64 55 6 3
3445 Mazel tov! This is my first wedding-what can I expect? 1.1875 0.04917 64 52 12 0
3446 Is the civilized wedding supposed the bride as the cake. 1.1875 0.04917 64 52 12 0
3447 He doesn't even look like me. 1.1875 0.04917 64 52 12 0
3448 Face it John. You are just not on my level. 1.1875 0.05398 64 53 10 1
3449 I should have brought a smaller gift... 1.1875 0.05398 64 53 10 1
3450 Her name is joe, that’s all I can tell you 1.1875 0.04917 64 51 12 0
3451 Please start your video and unmute your microphone. 1.1875 0.05398 64 53 10 1
3452 I tried.... 1.1875 0.05398 64 53 10 1
3453 Incel-abrate good times, come on! 1.1875 0.05398 64 53 10 1
3454 I'm looking for my sweet tooth! 1.1875 0.05398 64 53 10 1
3455 You had your chance and you blew it. 1.1875 0.05840 64 54 8 2
3456 Pssst... did you know I'm vegan? 1.1875 0.05840 64 54 8 2
3457 Sorry but everyone is having to downsize their wedding for Covid, so the just no demand for cakes your size. 1.1875 0.05840 64 54 8 2
3458 I am your Cake of Possible Futures. You're getting verrry sleeeepy..... 1.1875 0.04917 64 52 12 0
3459 Just met Yes-to-the-Dress. Are you Despondent-about-Fondant?" 1.1875 0.05398 64 53 10 1
3460 Next time, please pick shoes with rubber soles. 1.1875 0.04917 64 52 12 0
3461 You look like I'm not the first cake. 1.1875 0.05398 64 53 10 1
3462 Go ahead take a little bite, what the hell - you paid for it! 1.1875 0.04917 64 52 12 0
3463 I love my bride, but I don't think we can get this close without masks. 1.1875 0.05398 64 53 10 1
3464 The ? ran away with the spoon 1.1875 0.05398 64 53 10 1
3465 For later, when you don't have to stay six feet apart. 1.1875 0.04917 64 52 12 0
3466 You want a piece of me? Do you, tough guy? 1.1875 0.05398 64 53 10 1
3467 Nov shmoz ka pop? 1.1875 0.05840 64 54 8 2
3468 And so the 13th Fairy, not being invited, transformed herself into the wedding cake. 1.1875 0.05398 64 53 10 1
3469 Bride and Groom practice social distancing 1.1875 0.05398 64 53 10 1
3470 It's not time to cut me, and I have a name! It's Eric. 1.1875 0.05840 64 54 8 2
3471 Beautiful ceremony Bob! Would you wipe my tiers please? 1.1875 0.05398 64 53 10 1
3472 Im not popping out until there is a safe, gluten free vaccine available! 1.1875 0.05840 64 54 8 2
3473 Good for you, punching above your weight. 1.1875 0.05840 64 54 8 2
3474 Stop making your own decisions and eat me. 1.1875 0.05840 64 54 8 2
3475 Soon their marriage will be baseless. 1.1875 0.05398 64 53 10 1
3476 We presumed Penelope was a woman. 1.1875 0.05398 64 53 10 1
3477 Their body language means it won't last. Spare me! 1.1875 0.05398 64 53 10 1
3478 I'm a gluten-free cake. I probably won't taste good. 1.1875 0.04917 64 52 12 0
3479 The marriage didn't last long but it sure was delicious 1.1875 0.04092 64 53 11 0
3480 Looking good! 1.1875 0.04917 64 52 12 0
3481 I heard she's just marrying him for the health insurance. 1.1875 0.04917 64 52 12 0
3482 You tell yourself that being in a wedding band is cool, but I know it's just an excuse to drop acid. 1.1875 0.05840 64 54 8 2
3483 Yeah, that’s Don and Melania. I was made for the Trump victory party ... 1.1875 0.05840 64 54 8 2
3484 Weddings come and go, but icing is forever 1.1875 0.05398 64 53 10 1
3485 You two, get down here RIGHT NOW or you will make the worst mistake of your lives. 1.1875 0.05398 64 53 10 1
3486 What's the matter, Othello - jealous? Did you know there's a crack in that cake? And I've got the knife! 1.1875 0.04917 64 52 12 0
3487 Looks like me, but where's the bride? 1.1875 0.05398 64 53 10 1
3488 I'm sorry. She replaced you at the last minute. 1.1875 0.05398 64 53 10 1
3489 Hi. I'm Tracy Tracker. The bride's parents paid for this whole shindig, including me. So... where are you going? 1.1875 0.05398 64 53 10 1
3490 Your son certainly does not wish us every happiness. 1.1875 0.05840 64 54 8 2
3491 He's NOT Supposed to have a Hat on! 1.1875 0.04917 64 52 12 0
3492 Please! Don't let them eat me! I'll do anything for you. Imagine a lay with a layer cake. Lay, lady, lay." 1.1875 0.04917 64 52 12 0
3493 Here's your mail-order bride from Amazon. 1.1875 0.05398 64 53 10 1
3494 Fair warning buddy...a bite of this cake, will haunt you until you die...starting next year. 1.1875 0.05840 64 54 8 2
3495 Yes, the pre-nup specifies LARGE slices. 1.1875 0.05398 64 53 10 1
3496 Hey buddy-- she's gonna shrink YOU down to size in about 20 years. 1.1875 0.04917 64 52 12 0
3497 You should be upset. They got her hair right. 1.1875 0.05398 64 53 10 1
3498 She already maxed out your credit cards.....you owe me! 1.1875 0.04917 64 52 12 0
3499 I had another tier but the baker wanted to have it and then eat it too. 1.1875 0.04917 64 52 12 0
3500 She wants a recount." 1.1875 0.06250 64 55 6 3
3501 Dead man walking. 1.1875 0.05840 64 54 8 2
3502 Go ahead Bob. You can have your cake and eat it too! 1.1875 0.04917 64 52 12 0
3503 We should not have cut the cake down the middle. 1.1875 0.05398 64 53 10 1
3504 We are both about to get sliced. 1.1875 0.05840 64 54 8 2
3505 Your wife said, you can have your cake and eat it too. 1.1875 0.05398 64 53 10 1
3506 Remember my cousin? You carved her up and that marriage failed, right? 1.1875 0.04917 64 52 12 0
3507 Don't worry, the Doctor says with a quick surgery, he can remove those tumors. 1.1875 0.05840 64 54 8 2
3508 Ive had Batter days." 1.1875 0.04917 64 52 12 0
3509 Adam and Eve...check 1.1875 0.05840 64 54 8 2
3510 I just knew that we'd forget to cancel something" 1.1875 0.05398 64 53 10 1
3511 WARNING! DO NOT ENTER 1.1875 0.04917 64 52 12 0
3512 You be the dinner, I'll be the dessert. 1.1875 0.04917 64 52 12 0
3513 Well, it's no laughing matter. Really. 1.1875 0.06250 64 55 6 3
3514 This isn’t your day! 1.1875 0.05398 64 53 10 1
3515 I hate weddings anyhow. 1.1875 0.04917 64 52 12 0
3516 You know, I always feel like there is 'something' going on between those two people on top of me. 1.1875 0.05840 64 54 8 2
3517 You're late for your own wedding. The bride's about to cut the cake without you. Not good! 1.1875 0.04658 64 54 9 1
3518 This way you can have your cake and eat it too. 1.1875 0.05840 64 54 7 2
3519 So you want to have me and eat me too? 1.1875 0.05398 64 53 10 1
3520 Everyone gets cold feet. 1.1875 0.05840 64 54 8 2
3521 So are you thinking about having kids yet? 1.1875 0.05398 64 53 10 1
3522 Your fiancèe said you two were never a good fit. 1.1875 0.04917 64 52 12 0
3523 Glutton Free is a fine choice, sir 1.1875 0.05398 64 53 10 1
3524 Get back six feet! It's a volcano cake. 1.1875 0.05398 64 53 10 1
3525 You signed the contrac 1.1875 0.05398 64 53 10 1
3526 Don't say I didn't warn you! 1.1875 0.05398 64 53 10 1
3527 I'm a tacky cake, Ken, and you're a tacky man. 1.1875 0.05398 64 53 10 1
3528 At least you get top billing 1.1875 0.05398 64 53 10 1
3529 Don't worry, I'm gluten free"-cak 1.1875 0.05840 64 54 8 2
3530 Where is my bride? 1.1875 0.04917 64 52 12 0
3531 Geez, I know I’m a little short but, c’mon! 1.1875 0.05398 64 53 10 1
3532 I can't recall whether I ever met your college roommate Gulliver. 1.1875 0.04917 64 52 12 0
3533 It’s vertical only on white icing, Mr. Smith 1.1875 0.04917 64 52 12 0
3534 Layers of meaning. Let's take it from the top: do the bride and groom look like they 're ready for this? At bottom, is the cake nervous about being devoured? Alarm bells? Wedding bells? 1.1875 0.04917 64 52 12 0
3535 Hey, what is this? Get a room! 1.1875 0.05398 64 53 10 1
3536 She said your dick was too small. Time to eat your feelings! 1.1875 0.04917 64 52 12 0
3537 I'm pretty sure that I'm not gluten-free. 1.1875 0.05840 64 54 8 2
3538 If I'm gonna marry you, you're gonna have 't wear your mask pulled on right. 1.1875 0.05398 64 53 9 1
3539 Take one slice and I tell her you paid in Crypto 1.1875 0.05398 64 53 10 1
3540 Three tiers on the cake. Three cheers for the wedding. Three years for the marriage and a lifetime of tears..." three tear 1.1875 0.05840 64 54 8 2
3541 During COVID we do part. 1.1875 0.05398 64 53 10 1
3542 You can't have your cake and Shirley, too. 1.1875 0.06250 64 55 6 3
3543 For better or worse. 1.1875 0.04917 64 52 12 0
3544 I can’t believe how young today’s brides and grooms look. 1.1875 0.04917 64 52 12 0
3545 To be honest, John, I found the bigger man. 1.1875 0.05398 64 53 10 1
3546 I looked much better then! 1.1875 0.05398 64 53 10 1
3547 I don’t think you’re really allergic to nuts. 1.1875 0.04917 64 52 12 0
3548 hey your dad called he said he left his dick at my place 1.1875 0.06250 64 55 6 3
3549 Despite what you’ve been seeing online, I really am cake on the inside. 1.1875 0.04917 64 52 12 0
3550 Sure, you get 'happily ever after' and my three-tiered existence will be cut short in just a few minutes...literally cut short. 1.1875 0.04917 64 52 12 0
3551 A vegan cake! Ok? 1.1875 0.05840 64 54 8 2
3552 Vote for me and prove that you're not voting for yourself. 1.1875 0.05398 64 53 10 1
3553 This is the closest either of you will ever get to any sweetness between you...... 1.1875 0.04917 64 52 12 0
3554 Oh, and that 'until death do us part' thing....cake news bud. 1.1875 0.05840 64 54 8 2
3555 I hope you wiped your feet before you stepped on the frosting. 1.1875 0.05398 64 53 10 1
3556 I'm afraid I can't allow you to jeopardize this marriage, Dave. 1.1875 0.04917 64 52 12 0
3557 I'd toin back if I wuh you 1.1875 0.05398 64 53 10 1
3558 Step back slowly and keep your hands out; the bride gave me a pardon. 1.1875 0.05398 64 53 10 1
3559 You knew I always said you are what you eat when you met me Stan, and I ate all of it 1.1875 0.05398 64 53 10 1
3560 He left me for her? 1.1875 0.04917 64 52 12 0
3561 What are your vital signs before I say yes! 1.1875 0.04917 64 52 12 0
3562 She told me to tell you to bug off-she's met her soul mate. 1.1875 0.05398 64 53 10 1
3563 Sir, Due to social distancing requirements, the bride and groom ask you to step back 6 ft" 1.1875 0.04917 64 52 12 0
3564 I have toys in my butt. 1.1875 0.05398 64 53 10 1
3565 Please stop using your hair as inspiration." 1.1875 0.04917 64 52 12 0
3566 I expect her to jump off any minute, too. 1.1875 0.05398 64 53 10 1
3567 You know, I think plastic figurine really is your color. 1.1875 0.04917 64 52 12 0
3568 Last night she told him about you two. 1.1875 0.05398 64 53 10 1
3569 Look, now it's just you and me, but when we get down to "it", it'll be all over. 1.1875 0.04917 64 52 12 0
3570 She likes mountain climbing too. 1.1875 0.04917 64 52 12 0
3571 Why did she give me up for him! 1.1875 0.05398 64 53 10 1
3572 You dumped me. Now I’m a stripper. 1.1875 0.05840 64 54 8 2
3573 A welcome gift to new users of our dating app 1.1875 0.04092 64 52 11 0
3574 Look, you can't have your marriage and enjoy it too 1.1875 0.05398 64 53 10 1
3575 Waddaya mean my lapel is too narrow? 1.1875 0.05840 64 54 8 2
3576 That guy sure looks like my brother. 1.1875 0.05398 64 53 10 1
3577 I thought we had something special but I guess I was wrong. 1.1875 0.05398 64 53 10 1
3578 She's asking if you'll be able to make the plunge to the home tier. 1.1875 0.04917 64 52 12 0
3579 He really wanted your sister. 1.1875 0.05398 64 53 10 1
3580 Once again I will tell you, eat me and you will suffer 1.1875 0.05398 64 53 10 1
3581 Get over it. You'll never mean more to her." 1.1875 0.04917 64 52 12 0
3582 If you eat me now, you'll never get married 1.1875 0.05840 64 54 8 2
3583 Take my advice--the prime rib isn't so prime. 1.1875 0.05840 64 54 8 2
3584 Who says you can't have your cake and eat it? 1.1875 0.05840 64 54 8 2
3585 Hey, marriage ain’t gonna be all buttercream and raspberry filling, just so’s ya know. 1.1875 0.04917 64 52 12 0
3586 And eat me, too..! 1.1875 0.05398 64 53 10 1
3587 Please don't put me in the freezer-- choose a different piece. 1.1875 0.04917 64 52 12 0
3588 Psst! This couple has been here before. 1.1875 0.06250 64 54 6 3
3589 Now, all I have to do is get married... 1.1875 0.05398 64 53 10 1
3590 Dan go away! Don’t want you ruining my big day. 1.1875 0.05398 64 53 10 1
3591 I'm really ok with you're being gay and all, just spare me. 1.1875 0.05840 64 54 8 2
3592 They’re sinking into my lemon filling. 1.1875 0.05398 64 53 10 1
3593 Look, I know you dislike social confections, but can you at least look like you're enjoying this? 1.1875 0.04917 64 52 12 0
3594 C'mon, buddy—red velvet? This marriage will last two years, three tops. 1.1875 0.05840 64 54 8 2
3595 No one’s going to believe this is vegan now. 1.1875 0.05840 64 54 8 2
3596 Can I get an autograph? Big fan. 1.1875 0.05398 64 53 10 1
3597 These days I'm consumed with guilt. 1.1875 0.05398 64 53 10 1
3598 You can have this cake and beat her too. 1.1875 0.05840 64 54 8 2
3599 In your face. 1.1875 0.04917 64 52 12 0
3600 I should have taken off my mask when we were dating, not wait until now 1.1875 0.05840 64 54 8 2
3601 I just thought, if I have the cake... you know, a ‘field of dreams’ type of thing. 1.1875 0.05398 64 53 10 1
3602 Do the electric slide next 1.1875 0.05840 64 54 8 2
3603 I predict that your marriage will last about as long as it takes people to finish eating me 1.1875 0.05398 64 53 10 1
3604 The Bride Cake Topper looks nothing like me. 1.1875 0.05840 64 54 8 2
3605 I know he broke up with you a couple months ago but cheer up! The world is gonna end soon and everyone will die! 1.1875 0.05840 64 54 8 2
3606 Can’t believe I got married just for the cake. 1.1875 0.05398 64 53 10 1
3607 That bakery really didn’t want to cooperate 1.1875 0.04658 64 54 9 1
3608 No masks? Sorry I won’t pay for that! 1.1875 0.05398 64 53 10 1
3609 Hey ,you: - Don’t get married! It is a trap 1.1875 0.05840 64 54 8 2
3610 It’s a trap! 1.1875 0.05840 64 54 8 2
3611 The moment the masks came off, cake feared for his life. 1.1875 0.05398 64 53 10 1
3612 Covid wedding means that I get to eat the whole cake, right? 1.1875 0.04917 64 52 12 0
3613 I guess you CAN have your wife and eat her too 1.1875 0.05840 64 54 8 2
3614 Psst! Carl, it’s me. I think I’ve got cold feet. 1.1875 0.04917 64 52 12 0
3615 Mom, Please don’t leave me 1.1875 0.04917 64 52 12 0
3616 Cake: Topper? I barely know her! 1.1875 0.05398 64 53 10 1
3617 If I stand real still they won’t see me 1.1875 0.05398 64 53 10 1
3618 That was suppose to be me. 1.1875 0.04917 64 52 12 0
3619 You said it would look just like me, but my head doesn’t have this shape nor little people on top 1.1875 0.05840 64 54 8 2
3620 ..and I felt so Big back then.. 1.1875 0.05398 64 53 10 1
3621 ‘So uhhhh... let him eat cake??’ 1.1875 0.04917 64 52 12 0
3622 If only you were wearing a mask 1.1875 0.06635 64 56 4 4
3623 That’s a big cake for a supposed “COVID wedding” 1.1875 0.05398 64 53 10 1
3624 Can‘t get you out of my head. 1.1875 0.04917 64 52 12 0
3625 I don’t know where she is, I sent her the zoom link twice. 1.1875 0.05398 64 51 10 1
3626 till death or quarantine do us part, whatever comes first... 1.1875 0.05840 64 54 8 2
3627 Do you think you could order me a sandwich? 1.1875 0.06250 64 55 6 3
3628 Cake Topper, hardly know ’er! 1.1875 0.05398 64 53 10 1
3629 Well at least I’m not the only one getting eaten alive. Welcome to the club! 1.1875 0.05398 64 53 10 1
3630 Don't tell the bride, but this isn't my first wedding tonight 1.1875 0.04917 64 52 12 0
3631 You can bake me a cake for my birthday if you want," I told her on our first date last Friday 1.1875 0.05163 64 55 7 2
3632 Damn cake!! How you dare to appear in my wedding after last night 1.1875 0.05398 64 53 10 1
3633 That’s right, death by knife... and then your sick party guest friends are going to eat my corpse! You gotta help me man!! 1.1875 0.04658 64 54 9 1
3634 If I run off with the cake, they’ll be no further evidence of this marriage. 1.1875 0.05398 64 53 10 1
3635 Of all the things your dad could've sneezed on...the cake. Darn it. Figure out which part of the icing's contaminated? 1.1875 0.05398 64 53 10 1
3636 It’s getting back down that’s the problem 1.1875 0.05398 64 53 10 1
3637 Thats when he realized, he married his mom 1.1875 0.05398 64 53 10 1
3638 Get yourself a bride or get rid of the bride figurine 1.1875 0.05398 64 53 10 1
3639 Maybe I should have given the baker more than "I want a happy-looking cake" 1.1875 0.05398 64 53 10 1
3640 It’s the strangest thing, Marty, I can’t get you out of my head. 1.1875 0.05398 64 53 10 1
3641 Have you been watching The Queen’s Gambit? 1.1875 0.05840 64 54 8 2
3642 Why am I the one wearing the dress 1.1875 0.04092 64 53 11 0
3643 Look, we’ve been through this 1.1875 0.05398 64 53 10 1
3644 I heard you paint houses 1.1875 0.05398 64 53 10 1
3645 Have your cake, and it will eat you too 1.1875 0.06250 64 55 6 3
3646 Yeah, they did set them six inches apart. 1.1846 0.05322 65 54 10 1
3647 Your approval is the icing on the cake. 1.1846 0.05756 65 55 8 2
3648 Hey, hey Paul, down here!!! Look, if you leave now, you can still catch her and might be able to still pay Dutch!!! 1.1846 0.05756 65 55 8 2
3649 Hey mac if you lost a few pounds your replica wouldn't make it so hard to breathe 1.1846 0.04850 65 53 12 0
3650 It's until dessert do us part, Daryl. 1.1846 0.05756 65 55 8 2
3651 Getting married really is the icing on me. 1.1846 0.04850 65 53 12 0
3652 You wanted extra ISeeing on the cake, right? 1.1846 0.05322 65 54 10 1
3653 Don't blame me, they say they want a recake. 1.1846 0.04850 65 53 12 0
3654 Yep. They slipped you a Roofie. You’re now part of the Wolf Pack. Enjoy the wedding. 1.1846 0.05322 65 54 10 1
3655 She’s already eating on you. 1.1846 0.05756 65 55 8 2
3656 Next: a socially distanced Kama Sutra. 1.1846 0.05322 65 54 10 1
3657 If you think I'm taking, then your baked too! 1.1846 0.05322 65 54 10 1
3658 No statuette,no worries. 1.1846 0.04850 65 53 12 0
3659 Miss Haversham says the wedding's off and you should leave. 1.1846 0.05322 65 54 10 1
3660 Care to dance? 1.1846 0.04850 65 53 12 0
3661 She said, “Do ya want piece of me?” 1.1846 0.05756 65 55 8 2
3662 Groom confronts Prenuptial Wedding Cake 1.1846 0.04850 65 53 12 0
3663 I thought you said, ‘do you cake this wife’. 1.1846 0.05756 65 55 8 2
3664 I just assumed you knew! 1.1846 0.05756 65 55 8 2
3665 Before you do anything you might regret, I want you to know that I'm not keto-friendly. 1.1846 0.05756 65 55 8 2
3666 If you thinking losing ten pounds for today was tough, try getting baked at three hundred and fifty degrees! I swear my proteins will never be the same again. 1.1846 0.04850 65 53 12 0
3667 Pssst, I was hoping for more diversity to top me off. 1.1846 0.05322 65 54 10 1
3668 Eat meee! 1.1846 0.05756 65 55 8 2
3669 Always a bride’s aid and never a bride. 1.1846 0.05322 65 54 10 1
3670 Where's your invitation? (I double as head of security.) 1.1846 0.05322 65 54 10 1
3671 I promise, Mary, that I'll always look back at this moment with real nostalgia, even if by then I'm a hundred times bigger than I am today. 1.1846 0.06160 65 56 6 3
3672 They can never get my hair right. 1.1846 0.04850 65 53 12 0
3673 Hey; it’s virtual. 1.1846 0.05322 65 54 10 1
3674 Like me, she's not so sweet and kind of dry. 1.1846 0.05322 65 54 10 1
3675 Yes, she didn't want you to know I am made with gluten and dairy products. Why would she not tell you? 1.1846 0.04850 65 53 12 0
3676 If I were a pie, everyone would know what was coming. 1.1846 0.04850 65 53 12 0
3677 Just warning you, marriage is harder than the little figurines so oddly suggest. 1.1846 0.05322 65 54 10 1
3678 Based off what I've heard, everyone liked Jacob better than you. 1.1846 0.05322 65 54 10 1
3679 I know what's like to feel stepped on and desserted. 1.1846 0.05322 65 54 10 1
3680 They were closer five minutes ago. 1.1846 0.05322 65 54 10 1
3681 What happens in Covid stays in Covid?” “Nope buddy, you’re hitched! 1.1846 0.05322 65 54 10 1
3682 Not even close. 1.1846 0.04850 65 53 12 0
3683 Smear me in the bride's face and I'll give you the shits. 1.1846 0.04850 65 53 12 0
3684 You really don’t have to do this. 1.1846 0.04850 65 53 12 0
3685 It's your wedding day, Chad. You really could use a little grooming. 1.1846 0.05322 65 54 10 1
3686 Be careful what you wish for" 1.1846 0.05756 65 55 8 2
3687 No masks, no distancing? This cake is dead! 1.1846 0.04850 65 53 12 0
3688 Thank goodness the position’s already been filled. 1.1846 0.05322 65 54 10 1
3689 Just being real. Fifty percent of marriages end up in divorce. 1.1846 0.05322 65 54 10 1
3690 Believe me, it's not going to be a bed of roses either. 1.1846 0.05322 65 54 10 1
3691 It’s for the best, the honeymoon would have been a disaster! 1.1846 0.06160 65 56 6 3
3692 If you eat me, it'll all fall apart. 1.1846 0.04850 65 53 12 0
3693 Don't marry her!...she can't bake like I can... 1.1846 0.05322 65 54 10 1
3694 Only one of us is getting out of here 1.1846 0.04850 65 53 12 0
3695 We call the basic entry cake the "will do" model. 1.1846 0.05322 65 54 10 1
3696 I heard she left you at the altar but I’m a sweetie. 1.1846 0.05756 65 55 8 2
3697 Why do you look so surprised? Was that vow about sacrificing yourself to something bigger meant to be rhetorical? 1.1846 0.05756 65 55 8 2
3698 You know she can’t have her cake and eat it too 1.1846 0.05322 65 54 10 1
3699 I guess I can have my cake, and eat it too, sorry sweetie 1.1846 0.04850 65 53 12 0
3700 wish I had known at COVID 19 what I know now! 1.1846 0.05322 65 54 10 1
3701 If I bite her head off, will it be a divorce cake? 1.1846 0.04595 65 55 9 1
3702 $#&% on my @!# you *#¢© &#@* 1.1846 0.05322 65 54 10 1
3703 She said ´I sing on the cake´. Not icing. 1.1846 0.04850 65 53 12 0
3704 Eat me! Eat me ALL! Silence those agonizing memories of that cold-footed strumpet in a flood of vanilla sponge! Drown, drown your fractured heart in buttercream! Eat me! EAT ME! 1.1846 0.05322 65 54 10 1
3705 It's 2020 Buddy, "I hope you signed a pre-nup" 1.1846 0.06160 65 56 6 3
3706 She may have gotten you through quarantine, but like me, she’ll get stale. 1.1846 0.05322 65 54 10 1
3707 No face mask, though? No wonder why she didn’t show. 1.1846 0.04850 65 53 12 0
3708 Listen buddy there’s no return policies after you cut the first slice 1.1846 0.04850 65 53 12 0
3709 Just leave out "and in health" 1.1846 0.04850 65 53 12 0
3710 Am I supposed to look as happy as the groom doll? 1.1846 0.05756 65 55 8 2
3711 Cupcakes on the way! The artwork is really clean and quirky. 1.1846 0.04850 65 53 12 0
3712 No, you don't. "You take the cake" is just an expression. A pretty lame one, too. But, in this case, appropriate. 1.1842 0.04852 76 63 12 1
3713 Sorry, due to covid, full capacity is already reached as 2 people are on the cake. 1.1818 0.05675 66 56 8 2
3714 What's he got that I don't have?! 1.1818 0.05249 66 55 10 1
3715 Steve, this cake was made to suit everyone's tastes. Just like your wife 1.1791 0.05987 67 58 6 3
3716 Make sure it doesn’t go stale.” 1.1774 0.04891 62 51 11 0
3717 I wonder if they'll be six feet apart at the wedding. I suppose it really is the the time for a divorce. 1.1774 0.05405 62 52 9 1
3718 They already don’t look happy. 1.1774 0.05874 62 53 7 2
3719 You know this wedding is a big weight on my shoulders too! 1.1774 0.05405 62 52 9 1
3720 I'll give you fair warning, you'd better duck after she sticks that knife into my heart !! 1.1774 0.04891 62 51 11 0
3721 Great choice for our first dance he's just a chiropractor concerned about twerking Frank Buckley Andover,MA 1.1774 0.06308 62 54 5 3
3722 With the increased rate of failed unions we need to advise our no return policy. 1.1774 0.04891 62 51 11 0
3723 Let me sweeten the deal. 1.1774 0.05874 62 53 7 2
3724 She's bi, too! Isn't that just the icing on me? 1.1774 0.05874 62 53 7 2
3725 I don't mean to be a party pooper, but did she sign the prenup?" 1.1774 0.04891 62 51 11 0
3726 We’re both flaky.” 1.1774 0.04891 62 51 11 0
3727 Don't blame me, blame the icing. 1.1774 0.04891 62 51 11 0
3728 Psst, I hate to tattle, but the future missus already started her part of the honeymoon. 1.1774 0.05405 62 52 9 1
3729 Witness protection? 1.1774 0.04891 62 51 11 0
3730 She's your sister. Let it go, buddy! 1.1774 0.04891 62 51 11 0
3731 Security wasn't fooled by Mr. Bill and his party pooping ways. 1.1774 0.05405 62 52 9 1
3732 You should feel comforted at the fact she left us both at the alter. 1.1774 0.04891 62 51 11 0
3733 They talked it over and decided I wasn’t top-tier, as cakes go. 1.1774 0.04891 62 51 11 0
3734 Even for Miss Habersham, this is two tiers too many, 1.1774 0.05405 62 52 9 1
3735 Oh you wanted icing on the me? She slept with your brother. 1.1774 0.04891 62 51 11 0
3736 We have a non-traditional arrangement. 1.1774 0.03999 62 52 10 0
3737 I can't tell if they're 6' apart ! 1.1774 0.04891 62 51 11 0
3738 I don't thing this wedding is going to be a piece of cake. 1.1774 0.06308 62 54 5 3
3739 There's gotta be something missing in these virtual pandemic weddings. 1.1774 0.05405 62 52 9 1
3740 I did see her kissing your best man five minutes ago. 1.1774 0.05405 62 52 9 1
3741 You can have your cake, but you'll need a bride to eat it too. 1.1774 0.04891 62 51 11 0
3742 To not offend any of Matt's parents that's you on the right, Chris. 1.1774 0.05405 62 52 9 1
3743 One big cake for two people. Is that me on the cake? 1.1774 0.04891 62 51 11 0
3744 I will be proactive and eat the evidence so that the crime will not happen. 1.1774 0.04891 62 51 11 0
3745 Don’t ask! 1.1774 0.05405 62 52 9 1
3746 And I thought your figurine was heavy. 1.1774 0.05405 62 52 9 1
3747 Yo, buddy, you're not Jason Biggs, & I'm no apple pie. 1.1774 0.05405 62 52 9 1
3748 Just because the cake figures aren't wearing masks is not excuse for you not to - STUPID! 1.1774 0.04891 62 51 11 0
3749 Be Happy! 1.1774 0.04891 62 51 11 0
3750 This cake will explode in 5..4..3.... 1.1774 0.04891 62 51 11 0
3751 I saw this in a dream...twice! 1.1774 0.04891 62 51 11 0
3752 They've been talking. You'd better get some cake as soon as possible and apologize. 1.1774 0.06308 62 54 5 3
3753 I really support your marriage! 1.1774 0.05405 62 52 9 1
3754 I don’t know where she went. She seemed to be on top of things a moment ago. 1.1774 0.05405 62 52 9 1
3755 You know, a wedding cake is a lot like marriage. It’s sweet at first, but inevitably it ends up in the toilet. 1.1774 0.05405 62 52 9 1
3756 the cake's alive! 1.1774 0.06308 62 54 5 3
3757 Suddenly, Dwight didn't feel quite so small anymore. 1.1774 0.03999 62 52 10 0
3758 No, it's not much of a life. Short but sweet, I guess. Congratulations on your marriage. Many happy returns. 1.1774 0.04891 62 51 11 0
3759 Don't eat this. The middle layer is fruitcake! 1.1774 0.04891 62 51 11 0
3760 Yes, I’m the Ghost of Christmas Past but I'm stuck in the damn cake. 1.1774 0.05874 62 53 7 2
3761 Sorry,man,but Teeny just fell head over heels for Mini-Mike. You 1.1774 0.04891 62 51 11 0
3762 You're dreaming. Wedding cakes are taking some serious time off. 1.1774 0.05405 62 52 9 1
3763 uh oh she's already trying to change me. 1.1774 0.04891 62 51 11 0
3764 Help me! I know, but I'm not a cake. Please get me out of this hell-hole before I'm eaten. No commitment, just release. 1.1774 0.04891 62 51 11 0
3765 Um, sorry to tell you but your bride ordered an ice cream wedding cake for the occasion. 1.1774 0.05405 62 52 9 1
3766 Maybe I should take the cake whilst I make my escape? 1.1774 0.04891 62 51 11 0
3767 He's a bigger man than I am. 1.1774 0.05405 62 52 9 1
3768 Cake: "I'm a lie." 1.1774 0.05405 62 52 9 1
3769 Uh oh ! Plan B!? 1.1774 0.05405 62 52 9 1
3770 The knife’s going to cut pretty deep, but you’ll have a chance to put on ice on it for a year. 1.1774 0.04891 62 51 11 0
3771 The guy who baked me also didn't wear a mask and ignored social distancing guidelines. 1.1774 0.05874 62 53 7 2
3772 You two need to lose some weight. You're crushing me. 1.1774 0.04891 62 51 11 0
3773 Sadly Bruce realized it came with "no return" clause. 1.1774 0.05874 62 53 7 2
3774 I know there were COVID restrictions, but I thought we would both be at the reception. 1.1774 0.05874 62 53 7 2
3775 He's still behind me isn't he. 1.1774 0.04891 62 51 11 0
3776 Get out before it’s too late 1.1774 0.04891 62 51 11 0
3777 I thought my mom was the one getting married..... 1.1774 0.05405 62 52 9 1
3778 Its not your birthday, it's your wedding day. 1.1774 0.04891 62 51 11 0
3779 Oh, hi. I’m a taking cake. So no matter the occasion, please don’t eat me. 1.1774 0.04891 62 51 11 0
3780 Hey,sup. 1.1774 0.06308 62 54 5 3
3781 This is my first time, too. So what happens next? 1.1774 0.04891 62 51 11 0
3782 eat a slice and remember the rest of your life 1.1774 0.05405 62 52 9 1
3783 Marriages, cakes... We’re not so different. It all ends in tiers. 1.1774 0.05405 62 52 9 1
3784 Did you think you'd be standing up there?? 1.1774 0.05405 62 52 9 1
3785 She said they met at a table tennis match. 1.1774 0.05405 62 52 9 1
3786 Enjoy the cake get, ready to follow orders. That’s why they call it a wedding march. 1.1774 0.05405 62 52 9 1
3787 You did say you wanted to have your cake and eat it, too, didn't you? 1.1774 0.04891 62 51 11 0
3788 Run screaming man,run screaming! 1.1774 0.04891 62 51 11 0
3789 Why not have your cake and let it live too? 1.1774 0.05405 62 52 9 1
3790 Too bad she finds me sweeter than you. 1.1774 0.04891 62 51 11 0
3791 Yes you can 'have' your cake, and eat it too baby... 1.1774 0.05405 62 52 9 1
3792 That's not me, is it? 1.1774 0.04891 62 51 11 0
3793 Like a knife through the heart, isn't it. 1.1774 0.04891 62 51 11 0
3794 don't cut ! The broad's in the punch bowl.... 1.1774 0.04891 62 49 11 0
3795 Now I regret opting for a virtual wedding 1.1774 0.04891 62 51 11 0
3796 Hey, buddy, looks like she found someone more suitable. 1.1774 0.05405 62 52 9 1
3797 I can taste it - this one will last longer than stale cake. 1.1774 0.04891 62 51 11 0
3798 'What is that cake saying?' 1.1774 0.04891 62 51 11 0
3799 always the groomsman and never the groom 1.1774 0.04891 62 51 11 0
3800 She had me in her mouth a week after she met you. 1.1774 0.06308 62 54 5 3
3801 Congratulations. Three tears for your wedding day. 1.1774 0.05405 62 52 9 1
3802 Psst... hey buddy! Thanks for being the model for the little state they put on me. 1.1774 0.05405 62 52 9 1
3803 I'm not saying you are morbidly obese, but I'm struggling to hold this together. 1.1774 0.04891 62 51 11 0
3804 Let's change things up a bit. Instead of shoving me into your bride's mouth, you shove her into my mouth. 1.1774 0.04891 62 51 11 0
3805 Mom got me my favorite type of birthday human! 1.1774 0.05405 62 52 9 1
3806 Oy, I have such a migraine. Will you tell Ozzie and Harriet up there just stand still? 1.1774 0.05405 62 52 9 1
3807 You’re the best man, right? Tell the groom he bought someone else’s cake. 1.1774 0.04891 62 51 11 0
3808 I’m gluten free, sugar free, vegan, artificial vanilla flavored, and without preservatives. You can have me, and eat me too, but the bride has run off with a drummer in a Rock’n’Roll band. 1.1774 0.05405 62 52 9 1
3809 Nice toast, buddy. Now get me outta here before they get the knife. 1.1774 0.05874 62 53 7 2
3810 Who’s surreal? 1.1774 0.03999 62 52 10 0
3811 The wedding has been postponed until the virus goes away, Black lives really do matter, red and blue states are reunited, climate change has been reversed and all international conflicts have been resolved. 1.1774 0.05405 62 52 9 1
3812 Put your mask on, buddy, I'm working today. 1.1774 0.05405 62 52 9 1
3813 I'm kvelling, full of nachas, about to plotz. 1.1774 0.05405 62 52 9 1
3814 What do you mean this is a monk ordination ceremony? 1.1774 0.04891 62 51 11 0
3815 I said let them eat cake, not bake a cake! 1.1774 0.04891 62 51 11 0
3816 You know I'll always be her true love 1.1774 0.05405 62 52 9 1
3817 Hey, bud, you seen 'Escape from New York'? 1.1774 0.04891 62 51 11 0
3818 Just a reminder from the lovely couple, you can only remove your mask when you're eating me. 1.1774 0.04891 62 51 11 0
3819 But they promised to make me look like James Bond... 1.1774 0.04613 62 53 8 1
3820 The bride on top keeps asking “what’s eating you.” She’s really starting to frost me. 1.1774 0.06308 62 54 5 3
3821 Despite being afraid of heights, the fondant version of me is a 3-tier sugar high. 1.1774 0.05405 62 52 9 1
3822 Yeah, I don't look like him either. 1.1774 0.05874 62 53 7 2
3823 She knows about us, Steve. How you can’t resist me. How I’ve been inside you... 1.1774 0.05405 62 52 9 1
3824 hey there mr. Allllll alone. You know you want a piece of me. I cake you not, it’s going to be best bite of your life! (Harry was uncertain if this is what existential dread was really all about at his age). 1.1774 0.05874 62 53 7 2
3825 'Hey, can you scratch my back?' says the Cake 1.1774 0.05405 62 52 9 1
3826 Complementary 5G Lawyer 1.1774 0.04891 62 51 11 0
3827 Frank, you're not listening. knife = bee, ok?? Let's try this again. The BEE lands in the SECOND tier of the honeycomb. 1.1774 0.05874 62 53 7 2
3828 The electoral college didn’t certify the votes yet, so you’ll have to wait 1.1774 0.05405 62 52 9 1
3829 I think the cake is trying to tell me that fewer guests means more for me. 1.1774 0.04891 62 51 11 0
3830 If it’s any consolation, my cupcake ran off with a profiterole. 1.1774 0.05405 62 52 9 1
3831 Don, you dog! It’s your wedding? 1.1774 0.05874 62 53 7 2
3832 ...but I thought that you said we were going to your brother’s birthday party... 1.1774 0.05405 62 52 9 1
3833 We both know that you're not good enough for her, Kevin, so either you call it off or I"ll make sure that you choke. 1.1774 0.05874 62 53 7 2
3834 Sorry- the wedding wasn’t a piece of cake. I misspoke 😬. 1.1774 0.04891 62 51 11 0
3835 But Harry Styles’ hair is not that long! 1.1774 0.05874 62 53 7 2
3836 ‘Am I allowed to say ‘Bite me’? No. It’s offensive, supposedly.’ @pogapoc 1.1774 0.05405 62 52 9 1
3837 Where’s your mask, buddy? 1.1774 0.04891 62 51 11 0
3838 Would you happen to have a tissue? I’m getting tier-y. 1.1774 0.04891 62 51 11 0
3839 I’m the Cake of Wedding Past, you can take that suit off now. 1.1774 0.05405 62 52 9 1
3840 You know you didn’t have to pretend to be straight AND throw this big party just to eat me, right? - Cake 1.1774 0.05405 62 52 9 1
3841 Does anyone else see this cake tempting me to take a bite? 1.1774 0.05405 62 52 9 1
3842 What’s my sister doing up there? 1.1774 0.04891 62 51 11 0
3843 Get me out of here. They’re gonna eat me. 1.1774 0.04891 62 51 11 0
3844 Anything you say can be used against you 1.1774 0.04891 62 51 11 0
3845 Cake: "Are you sure?" Groom: "Nope." 1.1774 0.05874 62 53 7 2
3846 Nothing really changes until you have kids... 1.1774 0.04891 62 51 11 0
3847 They never told you the picture was for a wedding topper?! Oof. 1.1774 0.04891 62 51 11 0
3848 get those people off and six feet apart from me 1.1774 0.04891 62 51 11 0
3849 They already started bickering... 1.1774 0.04613 62 53 8 1
3850 Next time plan to get married *before* the holidays. 1.1774 0.04891 62 51 11 0
3851 : Hey buddy, I could really use a glass of champagne. Can you help me out? 1.1774 0.04891 62 51 11 0
3852 Freeze me instead. You and I both know this is a safety marriage. @newyorkercartoons @newyorkermag 1.1774 0.05405 62 52 9 1
3853 ... so it turns out my wish came true, you're my great-grandson right? 1.1774 0.04891 62 51 11 0
3854 I thought you’d be better looking IRL. 1.1774 0.05405 62 52 9 1
3855 'Yup... Any monent now the're going to cut and take away all that you have build!' 1.1774 0.04891 62 51 11 0
3856 given your luck tonight bud, this is the sweetest deal you’ll get” 1.1774 0.04891 62 51 11 0
3857 A tip for later tonight that I learned long ago: gently pipe the buttercream onto the sponge. 1.1774 0.05405 62 52 9 1
3858 But you were just——How did you get——? 1.1774 0.05405 62 52 9 1
3859 ‘Don’t worry albert I’m gluten free’ 1.1774 0.05405 62 52 9 1
3860 Whatever you do, don't shove cake into his face. 1.1765 0.05520 68 58 8 2
3861 You were right. She is cheating on you. Now promise not to eat me? 1.1765 0.05107 68 57 10 1
3862 The transition begins with first letting your hair grow longer. 1.1757 0.04852 74 62 11 1
3863 Hey, poindexter! YOU WANT A PIECE OF ME?! 1.1746 0.05326 63 53 9 1
3864 Oh my god . . . is that my Best Man? Damn him! 1.1746 0.04821 63 52 11 0
3865 Now you see what I mean by flowerless. 1.1746 0.05326 63 53 9 1
3866 Marriage means you can NOT have your cake and eat it too. 1.1746 0.05787 63 54 7 2
3867 The couple should put THEMSELVES in the freezer for a year-Things might be better then. 1.1746 0.04821 63 52 11 0
3868 It's hard to look at you and not think about digestion. 1.1746 0.05326 63 53 9 1
3869 Since you bought the cake, don't you think you should find a bride? 1.1746 0.05326 63 53 9 1
3870 Bill couldn't resist, the cake was calling his name... 1.1746 0.04821 63 52 11 0
3871 we all have our hidden secrets 1.1746 0.04821 63 52 11 0
3872 Boy Vin sure is a fatso. 1.1746 0.05326 63 53 9 1
3873 You're reading was perfect, but we're looking for someone shorter. 1.1746 0.05326 63 53 9 1
3874 ...100 servings...300calories per serving...Produced in a kitchen that also uses nuts...Ingredients: Wheat flour (Wheat flour, niacin, reduced iron, thiamin, mononitrate, riboflavin, folic acid), Sugar... 1.1746 0.05787 63 54 7 2
3875 Hey cake. Play that wedding song again so they csn dance on top. 1.1746 0.04821 63 51 11 0
3876 Dont jump 1.1746 0.04821 63 52 11 0
3877 But is it really worth the bellyache? 1.1746 0.05326 63 53 9 1
3878 Screw you, man 1.1746 0.05787 63 54 7 2
3879 Don't worry, even if that's not you on top with her, it's better looking this way. 1.1746 0.04821 63 52 11 0
3880 Take it easy, she is as nutty as a fruitcake anyways. 1.1746 0.05326 63 53 9 1
3881 — I don’t remember saying “yes”. — Yeah boy, you definitely did it! 1.1746 0.04821 63 52 11 0
3882 Hey listen. You got off easy. The other 50% ends in death... 1.1746 0.04821 63 52 11 0
3883 It’s cakes all the way down. 1.1746 0.04821 63 52 11 0
3884 The cake doesn't have a nose. 1.1746 0.04821 63 52 11 0
3885 I'm telling you, it's never gonna happen! 1.1746 0.04821 63 52 11 0
3886 I know I'm glorified pastry, Groom Guy, but off the top of my head, I don't think this marriage was made in leaven. 1.1719 0.05249 64 54 9 1
3887 I may look delicious, but trust me--I taste horrible. 1.1695 0.04926 59 49 10 0
3888 Nice wooden bow tie. Loser. 1.1695 0.05488 59 50 8 1
3889 You know, the dog licked himself before he licked me. 1.1695 0.05488 59 50 8 1
3890 They broke up after the cake was baked. 1.1695 0.04926 59 49 10 0
3891 Smaller? Think cup cakes" 1.1695 0.04926 59 49 10 0
3892 It’s “Tomahto”! 1.1695 0.05997 59 51 6 2
3893 I'm your wedding cake and "Personal Digital Assistant." Would you like to know what she's been saying behind your back? 1.1695 0.06466 59 52 4 3
3894 psst....I'm bugged. It's part of the pre-nup. 1.1695 0.05488 59 50 8 1
3895 Quick.. get back to you on the cake, I told you the big world is fake. 1.1695 0.04926 59 49 10 0
3896 Thrown off the top tier. Well that takes the cake! 1.1695 0.02595 59 51 8 0
3897 I'll have to wear a mask. 1.1695 0.04926 59 49 10 0
3898 Well, you couldn’t make it work with your woman, but for me it’s a piece of cake! 1.1695 0.04926 59 49 10 0
3899 Sorry, but after the one at my bachelor party, I just had to make sure you were real. 1.1695 0.05488 59 50 8 1
3900 It's not too late to leave her. Pitch: you can have me AND eat me. 1.1695 0.05997 59 51 6 2
3901 Can you still return the ring? 1.1695 0.04926 59 49 10 0
3902 She said she wanted a cake topper that truly represented the degree of intimacy she felt in your relationship." 1.1695 0.05997 59 51 6 2
3903 Yep, there's one tier for every ex-husband. We are all part of that Sweeney Todd-esque red velvet. Run while you can. 1.1695 0.04926 59 49 10 0
3904 I want a Divorce 1.1695 0.03937 59 50 9 0
3905 Paddy cake Paddy cake Bible fan we can't make a cake for a man and a man 1.1695 0.04926 59 49 10 0
3906 and I thought the guy on my head was ugly 1.1695 0.05997 59 51 6 2
3907 You wish you were there, don't you buddy . . . 1.1695 0.04926 59 49 10 0
3908 Pssst....get out while you have the chance! 1.1695 0.05488 59 50 8 1
3909 Chef bombs the wedding cake. 1.1695 0.05997 59 51 6 2
3910 It’s just you and me Bob. Even Joan doesn’t want to be in your bubble. 1.1695 0.04926 59 49 10 0
3911 I understand your disappointment, Jim, but just what DID you think "thick, uncut bottom" meant? 1.1695 0.04926 59 49 10 0
3912 Late, I’m always late. Damn! 1.1695 0.04926 59 49 10 0
3913 Psst. I'm COVID-safe. Pretty on the outside but just cardboard covered with fondant. 1.1695 0.05997 59 51 6 2
3914 Run! David is the cake topper now. 1.1695 0.04926 59 49 10 0
3915 How's about cutting me a slice? 1.1695 0.05488 59 50 8 1
3916 Sorry bud, but nobody gets to have their cake and eat it too. 1.1695 0.05488 59 50 8 1
3917 I am the Cake of Christmas Future. 1.1695 0.05488 59 50 8 1
3918 Did I drink that love potion again? It's all ogre now. 1.1695 0.04926 59 49 10 0
3919 Too much starch! 1.1695 0.04926 59 49 10 0
3920 You pick up that knife and I'll smash your face! 1.1695 0.04926 59 49 10 0
3921 No wonder the marriage is dead—no social distancing. 1.1695 0.06466 59 52 4 3
3922 Could you help me sir, I seem to have a soggy bottom. 1.1695 0.05488 59 50 8 1
3923 Oh my god. Am I really that short? 1.1695 0.05488 59 50 8 1
3924 That's scary, I keep thinking that could be me some day! 1.1695 0.04926 59 49 10 0
3925 I, your true soulmate, will pop out of this cake at the reception. 1.1695 0.05488 59 50 8 1
3926 Oh no !what a mess?Hold on!Honey!!they shrunk the kids on the cake!! 1.1695 0.05488 59 50 8 1
3927 You're a top tier groom. 1.1695 0.04926 59 49 10 0
3928 Legal on the paper, dear... 1.1695 0.05997 59 51 6 2
3929 I may be a piece of the marriage, but marriage is not a piece of me. 1.1695 0.05997 59 51 6 2
3930 I'm telling you--if you build it, she will come. 1.1695 0.05488 59 50 8 1
3931 Don't do it, pal. I married a choux pastry two years ago and she's been nothing but trouble. 1.1695 0.05488 59 50 8 1
3932 You'll see what happens if you ever step on my shoes again while we're dancing! 1.1695 0.04926 59 49 10 0
3933 Yeah I agree, the baker might be on to something here. 1.1695 0.05488 59 50 8 1
3934 Are you aware that the bride and groom are both vegans? 1.1695 0.05488 59 50 8 1
3935 ‘’ I Wish I was smaller.” 1.1695 0.05997 59 51 6 2
3936 Brian? Brian? It's Sheryl. It's 2037 and you're in a coma. Listen to me. The doctors sent me to help you. You have to wake up. Just concentrate on my voice and wake up. Wake up! Hahah, just kidding. You're a dick. 1.1695 0.05488 59 50 8 1
3937 It must be a mistake—why else would the groom figurine look like her high school sweetheart?” 1.1695 0.05488 59 50 8 1
3938 I don’t think he’ll ever accept that you and I were a better fit. 1.1695 0.05488 59 50 8 1
3939 You do understand that marriage is not a walk in the park or a piece of cake? 1.1695 0.04926 59 49 10 0
3940 A holiday wish: You will soon be able to have your cake and eat it too." 1.1695 0.05997 59 51 6 2
3941 ...a hundred slices? 1.1695 0.04926 59 49 10 0
3942 ...and most remarkable, is when you discover me in the freezer in 7 years, I will taste just as bad, and that will be impetus for your divorce just 6 months later. 1.1695 0.04926 59 49 10 0
3943 I'm sorry she couldn't come. Can you not eat me, please? I'd rather be eaten by her instead of you. You look like a dork and I don't want to be eaten by a dork. 1.1695 0.04926 59 49 10 0
3944 It's all sunshine and butter cream now, but before you know it, I'll be eaten and their marriage will end up in the trash. 1.1695 0.05997 59 51 6 2
3945 „They won’t stop arguing.“ 1.1695 0.04926 59 49 10 0
3946 The bad omen 1.1695 0.04926 59 49 10 0
3947 Maybe once everyone takes a bite of my delicious layers, they’ll forget that even your topper predicted your marriage was doomed. 1.1695 0.05488 59 50 8 1
3948 Wait a minute!😕 wtf is this?. 1.1695 0.04926 59 49 10 0
3949 In the end she just couldn’t commit, she was all “once on the lips forever, forever on the hips...” 1.1695 0.04926 59 49 10 0
3950 I don’t know how you’re still expecting this. 1.1695 0.05488 59 50 8 1
3951 ' There is a method to the madness you know.' 1.1695 0.04926 59 49 10 0
3952 It's my third marriage, when will they get the drift? 1.1695 0.04926 59 49 10 0
3953 ‘So if you’re 5’10, how tall is the cake?’ s 1.1695 0.05488 59 50 8 1
3954 Just make sure I am completely visible in the Zoom background when you say I do! 1.1695 0.05488 59 50 8 1
3955 If I were you, I’d smash me all over her face. Dude, trust me. I’m a wedding cake. Best way to start a marriage. 1.1695 0.04926 59 49 10 0
3956 Until death do you part 1.1695 0.05488 59 50 8 1
3957 When you realize your sister married your doppelgänger. 1.1695 0.05488 59 50 8 1
3958 She said you can marry me 1.1695 0.05488 59 50 8 1
3959 I hear they say you CAN have your cake and eat it too? 1.1695 0.04926 59 49 10 0
3960 Look Dan, if my topper reminding you and Nancy to social distance didn’t work, then I had no choice but to object during the vow ceremony. 1.1695 0.05488 59 50 8 1
3961 I'm like the BUMBLE version of weddings, no one looks like their topper IRL. 1.1695 0.04926 59 49 10 0
3962 Hey cake, you think my sister will know if i take a bite? Yeah probably not right? Come to papa 1.1695 0.05488 59 50 8 1
3963 It's our wedding day. Stop thinking about cake. 1.1695 0.05488 59 50 8 1
3964 If I'd known I was gonna be left to eat this all on my own I would have ordered the Red Velvet Mudcake with extra cream 1.1695 0.05488 59 50 8 1
3965 The band is doing an extra long hora” 1.1695 0.05488 59 50 8 1
3966 Studies show cakes with smily face frosting are 79% more effective at curbing over eating 1.1695 0.04620 59 51 7 1
3967 I thought I ordered the laptop cake topper... 1.1695 0.04926 59 49 10 0
3968 Turns out she prefers pie. 1.1690 0.04479 71 59 12 0
3969 Way to go, Minnie Me 1.1667 0.05403 60 51 8 1
3970 I'm giving you the same answer I gave you three nights ago--hello...Pandemic marriage is about the Pandemic. 1.1667 0.05403 60 51 8 1
3971 I don't think so 1.1667 0.04852 60 50 10 0
3972 Step up to the plate, contestant. 1.1667 0.05403 60 51 8 1
3973 Isabella: "Columbus said this cost 20,000 maravedis." 1.1667 0.04623 66 55 11 0
3974 you know that movie about how you can fuck pies? weird how few of those guys still have good acting careers— it was a huge hit! anyway, i’m a cake that’ll suck your dick 1.1667 0.06363 60 53 4 3
3975 I really hoped you'd lose some weight for the wedding. 1.1667 0.05403 60 51 8 1
3976 You may be “the best man” but anyway you slice it this takes the cake. 1.1667 0.05403 60 51 8 1
3977 John suddenly remembered that communication was not his strongest suit. 1.1667 0.05903 60 52 6 2
3978 You cut me and I’m gonna whack your whole family. 1.1667 0.06363 60 53 4 3
3979 Why do you have a face?" "I don't. It's your booze. 1.1667 0.05403 60 51 8 1
3980 If you object to the cutting of the cake, speak now or forever keep your piece. 1.1667 0.04852 60 50 10 0
3981 It’s anything but a piece of cake 1.1667 0.05403 60 51 8 1
3982 I know she’s wearing white, but uhhhh, I’d wear a condom if I were you. 1.1667 0.05903 60 52 6 2
3983 I swear I said throuple, not couple. 1.1667 0.04852 60 50 10 0
3984 Everyone that was invited to our wedding showed up on time 1.1667 0.05403 60 51 8 1
3985 I know he said a couple hits would help me loosen up and be social but this wasn’t how I pictured it 1.1667 0.05403 60 51 8 1
3986 Oh no! Heteronormativity! 1.1667 0.05903 60 52 6 2
3987 You like this cake? Haha it is a wedding cake! I bet you would enjoy it if you give it a try! Come on baby! Have some cake! 1.1667 0.04852 60 50 10 0
3988 I won’t last forever 1.1667 0.04852 60 50 10 0
3989 No mask, no social distancing and they still dare to expect death could tear them apart? 1.1667 0.04852 60 50 10 0
3990 XYZPDQ 1.1639 0.05321 61 52 8 1
3991 I’m just happy I got wedding toppers! The rest of my better went to a sad ‘29 Again’ cake. 1.1639 0.05321 61 52 8 1
3992 Bet I last longer than your marriage. 1.1639 0.04779 61 51 10 0
3993 Wedding guest: “I wonder if the bride and groom saw the advertising logo on their wedding cake?” 1.1639 0.05321 61 52 8 1
3994 If I must be sacrificed, please promise you won't desecrate my remains. 1.1618 0.04963 68 58 9 1
3995 Don't think because you are the groom you get to eat me by yourself 1.1618 0.04499 68 57 11 0
3996 Don’t even think about it 1.1613 0.05241 62 53 8 1
3997 Wayne--We gotta another pervert cake. Decorate it, wait for the supreme court, or what? 1.1579 0.04873 57 48 9 0
3998 Look on the bright side, Philip, more cake for you! 1.1579 0.05478 57 49 7 1
3999 Sorry for catfishing you. I just think we've got something special. 1.1579 0.05478 57 49 7 1
4000 The Groom and the Icing of Doom 1.1579 0.05478 57 49 7 1
4001 All I am saying is that I wouldn't describe their foundation as particularly solid. 1.1579 0.05478 57 49 7 1
4002 My great grandfather was German chocolate cake for the Nazis. 1.1579 0.05478 57 49 7 1
4003 Think of them as the frosting on the cake. Nobody likes vanilla anyway. 1.1579 0.05478 57 49 7 1
4004 If you even try to take Lady Figurine, I will make you extra big and fat. 1.1579 0.04873 57 48 9 0
4005 Whaddaya want for twenty bucks! 1.1579 0.04873 57 48 9 0
4006 It’s not too late to bow out. 1.1579 0.04873 57 48 9 0
4007 Where is the other groom! 1.1579 0.04873 57 48 9 0
4008 Your bride is on zoom and ready 1.1579 0.04873 57 48 9 0
4009 Sorry, but I was worst on 'Great Baking Show.' Plus, I'm three weeks old, and my back side is caved in. 1.1579 0.04873 57 48 9 0
4010 I now pronounce you Man and Wife.... and Pronoun 1.1579 0.04873 57 48 9 0
4011 But I look much better than that 1.1579 0.05478 57 49 7 1
4012 Pssst! He knows about you and Marcie! 1.1579 0.04873 57 48 9 0
4013 A cold shower will help your with brain function. 1.1579 0.04873 57 48 9 0
4014 You sure? 1.1579 0.05478 57 49 7 1
4015 Hey, handsome, you can take the cake, and eat it, too. 1.1579 0.04873 57 48 9 0
4016 Are you really going to spend the rest of your life with someone who orders a cake like me? 1.1579 0.05478 57 49 7 1
4017 This is a cake-walk. 1.1579 0.03787 57 49 8 0
4018 Always the Best man but never the groom..I 'm surprised i was able to get away with the same blazer from his first wedding and second wedding 1.1579 0.04873 57 48 9 0
4019 You're no superhero; you're a dork with curly hair. 1.1579 0.04873 57 48 9 0
4020 When are you going to tell her? 1.1579 0.04873 57 48 9 0
4021 Wait...the groom on the cake looks nothing like me... 1.1579 0.05478 57 49 7 1
4022 ?? The bride stole the groom! The bride sole the groom! ?? 1.1579 0.04873 57 48 9 0
4023 Yes, I can feel your cold feet. 1.1579 0.05478 57 49 7 1
4024 Your lucky you escaped her evil ways! 1.1579 0.05478 57 49 7 1
4025 You know, almost 50% of couples end up not eating their wedding cake. 1.1579 0.05478 57 49 7 1
4026 Give them a little time to realize how uncertain the world can be before you ask for cake, okay? 1.1579 0.04873 57 48 9 0
4027 Ever seen ‘My Mother the Car’? Well in this case it’s ‘My Mother the Cake’ and hilarity will ensue with each sitcom situation. You’ll love it. Oh, your mom is dead by the way. 1.1579 0.04873 57 48 9 0
4028 This tops it all—you were on her previous wedding cake. 1.1579 0.05478 57 49 7 1
4029 That’s not cool. He looks too much like Brad Pitt. 1.1579 0.04873 57 48 9 0
4030 When she said I was too big I thought she meant something else... 1.1579 0.04873 57 48 9 0
4031 I told you my Halloween costume was a hint, dear 1.1579 0.04873 57 48 9 0
4032 The voices in my head are telling me to kill you... 1.1579 0.05478 57 49 7 1
4033 She stole my perm" 1.1579 0.05478 57 49 7 1
4034 I hear you got a live band! 1.1579 0.04873 57 48 9 0
4035 Masks? They're avatars. 1.1579 0.04873 57 48 9 0
4036 I’m supposed to tell you that she’s done so you can have me—and eat me too. 1.1579 0.04873 57 48 9 0
4037 I ordered the cake for ME 1.1579 0.05478 57 49 7 1
4038 It’s not my fault! 1.1579 0.04873 57 48 9 0
4039 SAY, CAN YOU MOVE THESE TWO SIX FEET APART? 1.1579 0.04873 57 48 9 0
4040 Sorry that you did not make it tothe top. 1.1579 0.05478 57 49 7 1
4041 An inconvenient state of union ! 1.1579 0.04873 57 48 9 0
4042 Well my dear, you said you liked it when I was sweet! 1.1579 0.04873 57 48 9 0
4043 Sorry, we don't have talking four layer cakes only us three layer cakes can talk. 1.1579 0.05478 57 49 7 1
4044 ”Get off my brother’s head! 1.1579 0.04873 57 48 9 0
4045 Where do you buy a talking wedding cake? 1.1579 0.04873 57 48 9 0
4046 Hey buddy, can you give me a hand and take this guy off my head? He is sooooo heavy! 1.1579 0.05478 57 49 7 1
4047 I'm hiding from the Chicken Dance. 1.1579 0.04873 57 48 9 0
4048 Get off my mom! 1.1579 0.05478 57 49 7 1
4049 Welcome to the Dina - Poli Wedding. 1.1579 0.05478 57 49 7 1
4050 The groom's cake has your bride. If I don't make, she don't make. 1.1579 0.04873 57 48 9 0
4051 How long do you think that will last? 1.1579 0.04873 57 48 9 0
4052 Oh crap, they mixed up our hair 1.1579 0.05478 57 49 7 1
4053 You remembered to put the toilet seat down...right? 1.1579 0.05478 57 49 7 1
4054 wait, aren't those my younger siblings? sounds about right. 1.1579 0.04873 57 48 9 0
4055 Do you like Frosting cut, G? 1.1579 0.05478 57 49 7 1
4056 It’s such an honor to be your flour girl. 1.1579 0.04873 57 48 9 0
4057 Gee, (gasp)that doesn’t look like me at all! 1.1579 0.05478 57 49 7 1
4058 OMG IT LOOKS LIKE MY X WIFE! 1.1579 0.05478 57 49 7 1
4059 You look so handsome up there. Can't it just be for show? 1.1579 0.04873 57 48 9 0
4060 Not so subtle of a hint, huh? 1.1579 0.06023 57 50 5 2
4061 Excuse me . . . Sir! . . . do you have a tape measure? 1.1579 0.05478 57 49 7 1
4062 Sorry, groom, but here, we have a special event headcount limit of one these days. 1.1579 0.04873 57 48 9 0
4063 I'm full of gluten. 1.1579 0.04873 57 48 9 0
4064 I turned myself into a cake Morty 1.1579 0.04873 57 48 9 0
4065 I proposed to her, too? 1.1579 0.04873 57 48 9 0
4066 This is what i do to people who tell me to quit smoking! 1.1579 0.04873 57 48 9 0
4067 Soak it up, this is the only day you'll be on top of a sweet deal. 1.1579 0.04873 57 48 9 0
4068 I thought this wedding was going to be more gender fluid. 1.1579 0.04873 57 48 9 0
4069 Even you can bake it happen dude, it really is a piece of me to make that woman yours. 1.1579 0.05478 57 49 7 1
4070 I forgot the part of the pledge 'for...... or for worst'. 1.1579 0.04873 57 48 9 0
4071 You just married Alice, from Wonderland, right? 1.1579 0.04873 57 48 9 0
4072 It’s now or never, or is it? 1.1579 0.05478 57 49 7 1
4073 Sorry that he does not look like you . . . 1.1579 0.04873 57 48 9 0
4074 ...then again, I *could* just play dumb and disappear the damn thing before they get here. 1.1579 0.04873 57 48 9 0
4075 I heard them say, 'bet you twenty five dollars he takes the first bite'. 1.1579 0.04873 57 48 9 0
4076 Their not gay, are they? 1.1579 0.04873 57 48 9 0
4077 Psst, hey, I'm a talking cake. We can make a fortune if you just pick me up and leave. Just one more Bacardi straight up, then go ahead and do it. 1.1579 0.04873 57 48 9 0
4078 A three-story cake isn't high enough to keep all those women from climbing up it. 1.1579 0.05478 57 49 7 1
4079 Stop it Mighty Moe,it is Eeny Meeny! 1.1579 0.04873 57 48 9 0
4080 Hey, I'm gluten free, sugar free, and vegan. Good luck! 1.1579 0.04873 57 48 9 0
4081 Excuse me, you're standing on my head. 1.1579 0.05478 57 49 7 1
4082 She said her real answer tuned out to be “no.” 1.1579 0.04873 57 48 9 0
4083 Get off my back, Jared. 1.1579 0.05478 57 49 7 1
4084 What? You weren't expecting deep-layered insights tonight? 1.1579 0.04873 57 48 9 0
4085 They need to social distance. And no masks! 1.1579 0.05478 57 49 7 1
4086 You ever see the sequel to 'Death at a Funeral', 'Death at a Wedding'? 1.1579 0.05478 57 49 7 1
4087 I just assumed she would have told you she was gluten free BEFORE the wedding. 1.1579 0.05478 57 49 7 1
4088 That's insulting. I'm much taller than her. 1.1579 0.05478 57 49 7 1
4089 I love the many layers of choice in today's wedding cakes, don't you? 1.1579 0.05478 57 49 7 1
4090 Romeo and Juliet Finally Arrived 1.1579 0.05478 57 49 7 1
4091 Move them closer together for some real magic. 1.1579 0.05478 57 49 7 1
4092 Pssst! She left with the guy who brought me here...about 10 minutes ago! 1.1579 0.04873 57 48 9 0
4093 I'd say I do a great job of keeping my hair properly groomed. 1.1579 0.04873 57 48 9 0
4094 So the baker told me they ran out of flour, as the flower girl I suppose I was the next best thing. 1.1579 0.04873 57 48 9 0
4095 I give it six months. 1.1579 0.04873 57 48 9 0
4096 What is the difference between idolatry and putting a wax figure of yourself on the top of a giant cake for hundreds of people to admire? 1.1579 0.04873 57 48 9 0
4097 We're suppose to be the focus of this cartoon- not him. 1.1579 0.05478 57 49 7 1
4098 The groom escaping alarm will start in 1,2... 1.1579 0.04873 57 48 9 0
4099 After the virtual exchange of rings, you may kiss the bride! 1.1579 0.04873 57 48 9 0
4100 Can't have your cake and eat it too. 1.1579 0.04873 57 48 9 0
4101 Hey great speech, you cut me up! 1.1579 0.04873 57 48 9 0
4102 She said she ran away to Build Back Better. 1.1579 0.06023 57 50 5 2
4103 Are you superstitous? 1.1579 0.04873 57 48 9 0
4104 When she left she said, ‘He takes the cake!’ Guess it’s just us. 1.1579 0.06023 57 50 5 2
4105 Sorry you don’t have fingers! 1.1579 0.04873 57 48 9 0
4106 it looks like the boy is going to throw away the cake. 1.1579 0.04873 57 48 9 0
4107 I thought you were going to show up with 2 cakes getting married on your head? 1.1579 0.04873 57 48 9 0
4108 She's Biden, he's Trump. I give it 6 months! 1.1579 0.02224 57 49 7 0
4109 She left you for someone more “colorful” 1.1579 0.05478 57 49 7 1
4110 ... and that made the cake less enjoyable to eat 1.1579 0.05478 57 49 7 1
4111 Groom on top of the cake envy is never pretty. 1.1579 0.04873 57 48 9 0
4112 When will it be your turn? 1.1579 0.05478 57 49 7 1
4113 Does this mean I can't eat the cake? 1.1579 0.05478 57 49 7 1
4114 You're too late. 1.1579 0.04873 57 48 9 0
4115 You can only go down from here! 1.1579 0.04873 57 48 9 0
4116 See you in a year -- maybe. 1.1579 0.05478 57 49 7 1
4117 This is the worst $1,000 you'll ever spend. 1.1579 0.05478 57 49 7 1
4118 Just think, Ralph. If you marry me, we'll have a whole lifetime of wedded bliss." A piece o' cake! 1.1579 0.05478 57 49 7 1
4119 You look as dumb down there as you do standing on my head. 1.1579 0.05478 57 49 7 1
4120 I say, old bean, I never really wanted to be a wedding cake, don’t you know. I really rather fancied myself as a showstopper on the Great British Baking Show. 1.1579 0.05478 57 49 7 1
4121 What did I just do! 1.1579 0.05478 57 49 7 1
4122 Tough luck bud, looks like it’s just me and you in Fiji - cake 1.1579 0.04873 57 48 9 0
4123 If anyone cut the cake we will be aparted! Where's my bride actually? 1.1579 0.05478 57 49 7 1
4124 Come on man, just let her enjoy the night. Second marriage, it's all you. 1.1579 0.04873 57 48 9 0
4125 sorry for your loss 1.1579 0.04873 57 48 9 0
4126 Now, you take my newlyweds—please. 1.1579 0.04873 57 48 9 0
4127 No Bob, that's not what they mean by 'winner takes the cake'! 1.1579 0.05478 57 49 7 1
4128 Hang on a second, who's that guy? 1.1579 0.04873 57 48 9 0
4129 I'm not gonna survive the night won't I? 1.1579 0.04873 57 48 9 0
4130 But, I’m the one with the thick hair! 1.1579 0.04873 57 48 9 0
4131 I think I complete me more than a cake and a life partner 1.1579 0.05478 57 49 7 1
4132 ‘ I’ve been waiting years for this day, and then suddenly I realise where is she? I’m standing alone, for the bitterness of the wedding cake haunts me’ 1.1579 0.06023 57 50 5 2
4133 You know there is only a 50/50 chance this marriage will last. The prenup you signed is the escape clause. 1.1579 0.05478 57 49 7 1
4134 They took it too literally when I said I wanted a cake to look alive like me 1.1579 0.04873 57 48 9 0
4135 #isittoolatetoswitchplaces 1.1579 0.05478 57 49 7 1
4136 Me, myself and I. 1.1579 0.04873 57 48 9 0
4137 It is so sad that because of the current covid-19 pandemic, I can only have my wedding cake but not the bride. 1.1579 0.05478 57 49 7 1
4138 During second wave, Dave’s wholesome baking habit turned into Stockholm Syndrome. 1.1579 0.05478 57 49 7 1
4139 Someone blew out the candles and I’m standing here frozen. I should give them the news, tell them that the cake might be poisoned, right? It’s 2020 for God’s sake, spreading germs is not cool. 1.1579 0.05478 57 49 7 1
4140 Hey buddy, are you ready for commitment and a sweet slice of cake? 1.1579 0.05478 57 49 7 1
4141 Married at first bite 1.1579 0.05478 57 49 7 1
4142 If only things could stay this sweet , eh fellah? 1.1579 0.06023 57 50 5 2
4143 oh! that little man is me... 1.1579 0.05478 57 49 7 1
4144 Yo, bro, I’ll give you my top layer if you object to this marriage, I’m begging you! 1.1579 0.06023 57 50 5 2
4145 Told ya, we will meet again Peter . I warned you, "better start running or she will run away ". 1.1579 0.04873 57 48 9 0
4146 Til death us do part.” 💥 1.1579 0.04873 57 48 9 0
4147 I know we're social distancing but this takes the cake. 1.1579 0.04873 57 48 9 0
4148 if it makes you feel any better, I don't think they'll last 1.1579 0.04873 57 48 9 0
4149 We’ll just swap her out for a marzipan PlayStation 5 1.1579 0.05478 57 49 7 1
4150 You have Celiacs right? 1.1579 0.04873 57 48 9 0
4151 It's just a dream, nobody loves you! 1.1579 0.04873 57 48 9 0
4152 Did you see the Maid of Honor? Her makeup was practically caked on. 1.1579 0.05478 57 49 7 1
4153 Damned if you do and damned if don't. 1.1579 0.04873 57 48 9 0
4154 If only your hair looked that good 1.1552 0.04796 58 49 9 0
4155 At least I won't alone. 1.1552 0.05390 58 50 7 1
4156 Sorry I ruined your wedding day. But we'll both be happier. 1.1552 0.04796 58 49 9 0
4157 He told me he was Gay! 1.1552 0.05390 58 50 7 1
4158 I don't look like a mobster do I? 1.1552 0.04796 58 49 9 0
4159 What are you calling me, cheap? 1.1552 0.04796 58 49 9 0
4160 But who will fill the hole, when you've gone? 1.1552 0.04796 58 49 9 0
4161 I guess that's what I get for telling the bakery the cake should be stunning. 1.1552 0.05390 58 50 7 1
4162 No, this is the biggest cake they make 1.1552 0.04796 58 49 9 0
4163 Oh! Only you..go away corona go.. .my party😔" ,cake is worried about his happy marriage ceremony with a crowd gathered aroun 1.1552 0.05390 58 50 7 1
4164 Look at the pride side: you can eat me all by yourself 1.1552 0.05390 58 50 7 1
4165 I’m here for the cake”, she was a no show 1.1552 0.04796 58 49 9 0
4166 I know you want me, but you are taken now 1.1552 0.04796 58 49 9 0
4167 ..after the divorce, she took half. I used to be a MARBLE cake! 1.1552 0.04796 58 49 9 0
4168 Could you spell me man my back is killing me. 1.1552 0.04796 58 49 9 0
4169 Is it 616 already? 1.1552 0.04796 58 49 9 0
4170 No, the figurines aren't alive. They're dead. 1.1525 0.04721 59 50 9 0
4171 The real commitment is my saturated fats in your bloodstream. 1.1525 0.05304 59 51 7 1
4172 You oughta knock him off, he tastes a lot better than her... 1.1525 0.05304 59 51 7 1
4173 In the pandemic it's just not PC to have your cake and eat it too! 1.1525 0.04721 59 50 9 0
4174 remember that movie about the pies you can fuck? it was a huge hit! anyway, i’m a cake that’ll eat your ass 1.1525 0.05304 59 51 7 1
4175 [Hmmm...time to cut the cake's power.] 1.1525 0.04721 59 50 9 0
4176 what those fingers do 1.1525 0.04721 59 50 9 0
4177 Darn, we all need a haircut! 1.1525 0.05304 59 51 7 1
4178 i´ll just eat it up... 1.1500 0.05221 60 52 7 1
4179 Marvin, read my lips. Marriage __ _ _____ __ ____. 1.1500 0.05221 60 52 7 1
4180 The covid not only made me loose my ability to taste, i also lost the sence of seeing collors. 1.1500 0.05221 60 52 7 1
4181 Have you got the time? 1.1500 0.04649 60 51 9 0
4182 Shove it. 1.1493 0.04875 67 58 8 1
4183 Love will tear us apart by joy division. 1.1493 0.05318 67 59 6 2
4184 Youze lucky. The East River is frozen. 1.1481 0.04880 54 46 8 0
4185 I’m Vegan. 1.1481 0.05550 54 47 6 1
4186 Are you really that far? 1.1481 0.04880 54 46 8 0
4187 Think of me like a slot machine. Good luck! 1.1481 0.04880 54 46 8 0
4188 I see Paris, I see France... 1.1481 0.04880 54 46 8 0
4189 if you stare into the abyss, the abyss stares back at you" - Carlos, Brooklyn NY 1.1481 0.05550 54 47 6 1
4190 The good news is that I'm a cake and I'm probably delicious; the bad news is that your wife left you 1.1481 0.04880 54 45 8 0
4191 I told the baker that David was my spouse!!! 1.1481 0.05550 54 47 6 1
4192 Cake: Let's get out of here. Groom: Maybe this wasn't the day to start microdosing mushrooms. 1.1481 0.05550 54 47 6 1
4193 Well Steve. she just needed more passion from her man. 1.1481 0.04880 54 46 8 0
4194 I was hoping for a bigger cake. 1.1481 0.04880 54 46 8 0
4195 Oh no, not another Food Network Baking Contestant with a SOB story about how he plans to spend the winnings. 1.1481 0.04880 54 46 8 0
4196 You can see for yourself why she left you at the altar...right? 1.1481 0.05550 54 47 6 1
4197 Pretty good likeness, don't you think? 1.1481 0.06147 54 48 4 2
4198 This is NOT my idea of 6 feet apart! 1.1481 0.04880 54 46 8 0
4199 Can I eat the cake without wanting it? 1.1481 0.04880 54 46 7 0
4200 I’m allergic to cake. 1.1481 0.06147 54 48 4 2
4201 You are under my power. It is the power of love. 1.1481 0.04880 54 46 8 0
4202 Finger lickin’ good! 1.1481 0.04880 54 46 8 0
4203 This ballroom aint big enough for the two of us. Meet me in the coatroom in ten minutes–we will settle this... for good. 1.1481 0.05550 54 47 6 1
4204 Everyone is going to get the Corona Virus at this wedding, so don’t eat the cake! 1.1481 0.06147 54 48 4 2
4205 Your bride took the $200 Off Special with Targeted Advertising. You know, at this stage of your life, you should consider life insurance policies on both of you. 1.1481 0.04880 54 46 8 0
4206 Say something for The New Yorker! 1.1481 0.05550 54 47 6 1
4207 When the “other women” at your wedding is the cake. 1.1481 0.04880 54 46 8 0
4208 I saw her earlier in the evening snarfing down an Oeuf ala Nage in the kitchen without the least consideration for social distancing. 1.1481 0.05550 54 47 6 1
4209 Psst . . . Paul: the tiers are underproved and underbaked. 1.1481 0.05550 54 47 6 1
4210 Phobia Test #34 answer: Tokophobia augmented by Pemmaphobia. 1.1481 0.05550 54 47 6 1
4211 I wish I had some perspective on whether this union will last. 1.1481 0.04880 54 46 8 0
4212 She married my best friend. 1.1481 0.04880 54 46 8 0
4213 Let them eat" - cak 1.1481 0.04880 54 46 8 0
4214 I wanted to wear the dress 1.1481 0.05550 54 47 6 1
4215 Are you sure you want to do this?" , says the cake to the groom 1.1481 0.04880 54 46 8 0
4216 What are YOU looking at Poindexter?!?! You want a piece of ME?!?! 1.1481 0.04880 54 46 8 0
4217 Psst...This’ll be your last piece of cake! 1.1481 0.05550 54 47 6 1
4218 I wish I could marry the man on the cake. 1.1481 0.04880 54 46 8 0
4219 Honestly you chose the wrong cake. you should have gotten my friend that is 5 layers tall. 1.1481 0.04880 54 46 8 0
4220 Pssst! Hey! Down here! Yeah, the cake! So, what's the story with you and the bride? You guys thinking of opening things up or...? 1.1481 0.04880 54 46 8 0
4221 Oh, you're a guy? let me change my hair 1.1481 0.04880 54 46 8 0
4222 At least I would be eaten alive only once! 1.1481 0.05550 54 47 6 1
4223 Not “On the CAKE in front of a creepy giant”? “On the lake”?! Oh oh, I told the wedding planner cake was correct and... “the sleeping giant”? Yer gonna laugh, she’d not heard of it -nor I had then- so... When you turn around keep that in mind 1.1481 0.05550 54 47 6 1
4224 He's my ex. I got tired of him belittling me. 1.1481 0.05550 54 47 6 1
4225 This is your mother speaking. You're not getting away that easily. 1.1481 0.04880 54 46 8 0
4226 And I thought I was dressed vanilla 1.1481 0.04880 54 46 8 0
4227 At this level, I'm just a cardboard façade covered in frosting. I don't know what 'let them eat cake' means" 1.1481 0.03651 54 47 6 0
4228 The wedding cake is over there. I'm the "she's just being nice to you because you're on the same table but there's nothing there so don't obsess over her for the rest of your life" cake. 1.1481 0.04880 54 46 8 0
4229 Oh - so you're the reason I'm in this mess". 1.1481 0.05550 54 47 6 1
4230 Told you so 1.1481 0.04880 54 46 8 0
4231 Have you seen my bride? Looks like me but the man and woman are flipped. 1.1481 0.05550 54 47 6 1
4232 I hate to eat and run..... 1.1481 0.05550 54 47 6 1
4233 George, darling, tell wifey about our affair NOW. Or else I’ll have to. 1.1481 0.04880 54 46 8 0
4234 I'm guessing you expect to eat me, too. 1.1481 0.04880 54 46 8 0
4235 Paul Hollywood says this cake is overbaked and dry, but she’s got another bun in the oven. 1.1481 0.05550 54 47 6 1
4236 This jacket is tight...and why are they smiling? 1.1481 0.03651 54 47 7 0
4237 Matrimony's affoot! You knew she was a tart when you proposed. It was baked in. And thanks for hiring my cousin to do the flour arrangements. As sure as the bun rises in the yeast, this will be a fine marriage. I'm a talking aardvark in disguise. 1.1481 0.05550 54 47 6 1
4238 Sorry, I am taken. 1.1481 0.04880 54 46 8 0
4239 Cakewalk. 1.1481 0.04880 54 46 8 0
4240 Hey Siri What happened to me and Tupac at Coachella. 1.1481 0.05550 54 47 6 1
4241 The band just announced the new couple, and the bride usually joins the groom now. Have you been aware of any marital troubles up until now? 1.1481 0.04880 54 46 8 0
4242 They look happy together. 1.1481 0.04880 54 46 8 0
4243 ...and it's as if their feet are helplessly planted in cement rather than clotted cream" sniped the layered wedding cake 1.1481 0.05550 54 47 6 1
4244 I'm peach. Get it? Too soon? Ah, c'mon, it was almost a year ago! 1.1481 0.04880 54 46 8 0
4245 Cake; Dude ,she's got secrets! 1.1481 0.05550 54 47 6 1
4246 i knew you weren’t square, but this takes the cake! 1.1481 0.05550 54 47 6 1
4247 Prenup cake portions have been predetermined. 1.1481 0.04880 54 46 8 0
4248 Mutton for dinner next 4 years. Just yell "Voter Fraud!!!" 1.1481 0.05550 54 47 6 1
4249 It's not too late to dump Ms. I-don't-eat-cake. And I know this little bakery in El Segundo. 1.1481 0.04880 54 46 8 0
4250 They both couldn’t have their cake, so they ate each other. 1.1481 0.04880 54 46 8 0
4251 Hey buddy. You just gonna stand there while that guy up there busts a move on your wife? 1.1481 0.04880 54 46 8 0
4252 There is more to life than cake at suc a time 1.1481 0.05550 54 47 6 1
4253 It’s a “diy” cake - you put the masks on the Wedding Couple.” 1.1481 0.04880 54 46 8 0
4254 I told ya your mother was gonna order a "Death by Chocolate" cheesecake wedding cake made by some mensch up in Portland, Maine 1.1481 0.04880 54 46 8 0
4255 I told them this was my good side. 1.1481 0.03651 54 47 7 0
4256 Somehow I thought I ordered it life-sized, not life-like. 1.1481 0.05550 54 47 6 1
4257 You better use a condom tonight, she looks unclean to me. 1.1481 0.05550 54 47 6 1
4258 Go eat your own cake! 1.1481 0.05550 54 46 6 1
4259 You can stuff it in my cakehole. For once. 1.1481 0.05550 54 47 6 1
4260 So, are they dancing with the stars or getting married? 1.1481 0.05550 54 47 6 1
4261 If you don’t try me are you really fulfilling your Best Man duties? 1.1481 0.05550 54 47 6 1
4262 Can't wait 'til she smashes us in your face, buddy boy. No bottom tiers, got that? I don't want my icing all fudged up. 1.1481 0.04880 54 46 8 0
4263 ? “It’s not open, to discussion, anymore” ? 1.1481 0.05550 54 47 6 1
4264 Yes, I'm a talking cake, but that doesn't mean that I can tell you how your marriage will work out. 1.1481 0.04880 54 46 8 0
4265 Honey, We Shrunk Ourselves!” (Reference to the Rick Moranis series: “Honey, I Shrunk the Kids”) 1.1481 0.06147 54 48 4 2
4266 Psst...You can always pull the fire alarm or hit the main breaker. 1.1481 0.05550 54 47 6 1
4267 Can I get a piece of that? 1.1481 0.06147 54 48 4 2
4268 You didn't hear this from me, but I have it on good authority that the baker is scrimping on the icing to layer his pockets with dough. 1.1481 0.05550 54 47 6 1
4269 At the last minute she opted for a smaller wedding. 1.1481 0.04880 54 46 8 0
4270 You forgot to kiss the bride. 1.1481 0.04880 54 46 8 0
4271 I wonder if making the groom in my likeness was a little heavy-handed? Oh well... Where is my dude with them bacon-wrapped scallops at doh? 1.1481 0.05550 54 47 6 1
4272 You guys want to get crazy tonight? Watch some porno? 1.1481 0.05550 54 47 6 1
4273 Everything seems bigger when you're little; it's all matter of perspective. 1.1481 0.04880 54 45 8 0
4274 You can now have a cake and see it too. 1.1481 0.04880 54 46 8 0
4275 She sent me instead. 1.1481 0.04880 54 46 8 0
4276 Oh, it’s all natural — I don’t use hair care products. 1.1481 0.03651 54 47 7 0
4277 Starting to wish she said "no"? 1.1481 0.05550 54 47 6 1
4278 And then he turns himself a pickle. Funniest shit I've ever seen. 1.1481 0.05550 54 47 6 1
4279 The venue said ten people max, no exceptions. 1.1481 0.04880 54 46 8 0
4280 „Can‘t get you out of my head...“ #kylieminogue 1.1481 0.04880 54 46 8 0
4281 I told them not to make her hair look fuller than mine! 1.1481 0.04880 54 46 8 0
4282 Look, man, this is what you get when you can’t figure out how to unmute at your Zoom cake tasting. 1.1481 0.05550 54 47 6 1
4283 Not this year or ever 1.1481 0.04880 54 45 8 0
4284 Your new wife was making out with the guy who piped me. 1.1481 0.05550 54 47 6 1
4285 If only Palestine and Israel were as friendly s 1.1481 0.06147 54 48 4 2
4286 I Didn't know that I have to be so small to participate...Alice!Alice! Where are you?! 1.1481 0.05550 54 47 6 1
4287 If I were you I would not take a bite I’m feeling stale 1.1481 0.04880 54 46 8 0
4288 Congrats on the good taste, in spouses and in cake. She picked out the cake? Ok nvm. 1.1481 0.04880 54 46 8 0
4289 In holy matrimony, my germs become ~our~ germs 🦠 1.1481 0.05550 54 47 6 1
4290 Don’t worry, chances are it won’t last. 1.1481 0.04880 54 46 8 0
4291 That doesn't look like me. Who is she up there with? 1.1481 0.04880 54 46 8 0
4292 I think the ‘joint funeral’ was a bad idea... 1.1481 0.04880 54 46 8 0
4293 as fake as a wedding cake 1.1481 0.04880 54 46 8 0
4294 Ready for change ? 👀 1.1481 0.04880 54 46 8 0
4295 It’s a “discussion”. 1.1481 0.04880 54 46 8 0
4296 That’s a weird birthday cake. 1.1481 0.04880 54 46 8 0
4297 Hey look, I know I am just a cake but maybe things will work out between us...looks are deceiving I am actually organic, sugar free, fat free and good for your heart unlike Karen over here 1.1481 0.04880 54 46 8 0
4298 That's not me! 1.1481 0.04880 54 46 8 0
4299 Help, I'm a cake. 1.1481 0.05550 54 47 6 1
4300 Wow, this icing really is good! Oh, shoot...I took more than I thought...adding some eyes and... good as new! 1.1481 0.04880 54 46 8 0
4301 What?" "Ya wanna piece of me?" Ya wanna piece of me?" (In Robert De Niro's voice 1.1481 0.05550 54 47 6 1
4302 It should have been me 1.1481 0.04880 54 46 8 0
4303 where’d she go? I told you this would happen... I guess it’s just you and me 1.1481 0.05550 54 47 6 1
4304 You look beautiful. Now get out there! 1.1481 0.04880 54 46 8 0
4305 they are still negotiating their wedding hashtag" 💒 1.1481 0.04880 54 46 8 0
4306 . Technically I'm desert. 1.1481 0.04880 54 46 8 0
4307 Oh shit, here we are again 1.1481 0.04880 54 46 8 0
4308 Are you sure you want to? 1.1481 0.04880 54 46 8 0
4309 I won’t admit his win 😁 1.1481 0.04880 54 46 8 0
4310 Yep Chad, that’s you. You can start dancing anytime.” -Will Hunter, Jr. Plymouth, M 1.1475 0.04578 61 52 9 0
4311 'You can't have the cake and eat it too... I suggest you enjoy the cake..' 1.1475 0.04578 61 52 9 0
4312 If you're going to challenge the announced result, you'll need to have some evidence. 1.1455 0.05455 55 48 6 1
4313 Wanna get baked again? 1.1455 0.04798 55 47 8 0
4314 You've got cold feet? Just run away. That'll warm them up. 1.1455 0.05455 55 48 6 1
4315 Yes, this is your cake talkin’ to you, Sal. 1.1455 0.04798 55 47 8 0
4316 I abducted your fiancé and wed her to your best friend. 1.1455 0.05455 55 48 6 1
4317 I hear the bride’s party includes a sweet little red velvet bundt cake, think you can hook me up, Larry? 1.1455 0.04798 55 47 8 0
4318 Mom, dad, after all these years, you never ate the cake.. 1.1455 0.04798 55 47 8 0
4319 Hey guys, turns out I shrunk the wrong bride and groom. Sorry. 1.1455 0.05455 55 48 6 1
4320 Yes, I can talk. No, your ‘clog’ line wasn’t funny. 1.1455 0.04798 55 47 8 0
4321 You're wearing the bride's wig. 1.1455 0.05455 55 48 6 1
4322 I think she drove off with her old boyfriend. 1.1455 0.04798 55 47 8 0
4323 Could you tell them to move closer together? The photographer’s getting impatient. 1.1455 0.04798 55 47 8 0
4324 Oh no! That's my wife, marrying my brother. 1.1455 0.05455 55 48 6 1
4325 Cut it now and let's get out of here. 1.1455 0.05455 55 48 6 1
4326 I chose you, my beloved, when he couldn’t lose the idea that masks were political. 1.1455 0.04798 55 47 8 0
4327 So thats how they get the cream in the cake 1.1455 0.04798 55 47 8 0
4328 Hey can we borrow your bow tie? 1.1455 0.05455 55 48 6 1
4329 If you call off the wedding, you can have your cake now. 1.1455 0.05455 55 48 6 1
4330 I wasn't in drag!! 1.1455 0.04798 55 47 8 0
4331 The groom and the cake exchange insults You call that a wedding cake??? You call that a tuxedo?? 1.1455 0.05455 55 48 6 1
4332 You must be Mr. Fondant, the father of the bride. 1.1455 0.05455 55 48 6 1
4333 No. That doesn’t look anything like me. 1.1455 0.04798 55 47 8 0
4334 Wait, no one likes raisins? 1.1455 0.04798 55 47 8 0
4335 Don't look now, But your big brother just arrived, and he's not happy.... 1.1455 0.04798 55 47 8 0
4336 I'm fresh from the Elon Musk bakery. 1.1455 0.05455 55 48 6 1
4337 Looks like we came up a layer short in this year's Macy's parade. 1.1455 0.04798 55 47 8 0
4338 We kept the figurines socially distanced. Just think of it as a '5 years into your marriage cake'. 1.1455 0.04798 55 47 8 0
4339 Three's a crowd 1.1455 0.04798 55 47 8 0
4340 No, don’t feel bad - I just think she needed someone much tinier. 1.1455 0.05455 55 48 6 1
4341 What have I done? 1.1455 0.05455 55 48 6 1
4342 Can we cut the cake now? The rental place charges me double if I don’t return the tux by 10pm. 1.1455 0.04798 55 47 8 0
4343 At the end of the day, it’s just a bit of paper 1.1455 0.05455 55 48 6 1
4344 'That's why I don't believe in monogamy' 1.1455 0.04798 55 47 8 0
4345 Just once. She doesn't have to know. 1.1455 0.04798 55 47 8 0
4346 Someone had drawn a happy face in the icing. But had they worn a mask and gloves to do so? 1.1455 0.04798 55 47 8 0
4347 Unfortunately, I’m not symbolic of your marriage. Enjoy! 1.1452 0.05063 62 54 7 1
4348 Yes, this is how it starts, but you know how it turns out 1.1449 0.04269 69 59 10 0
4349 A measly three tier cake -- that's all you could shell out? 1.1429 0.04718 56 48 8 0
4350 What's he got that I haven't got? 1.1429 0.04718 56 48 8 0
4351 The cake’s nothing. Wait till you get a load of her horrible cooking. 1.1429 0.04718 56 48 8 0
4352 Looks like the little Mrs is gonna have a little romance. 1.1429 0.04718 56 48 8 0
4353 C’mon, man, she already left. Just cut your losses already. 1.1429 0.04718 56 48 8 0
4354 You never know, maybe *you* are cake too 1.1404 0.04642 57 49 8 0
4355 Too Bad! He found someone else... 1.1379 0.05188 58 51 6 1
4356 Traditional white cake? Hardly, make sure there's plenty of t.p 1.1346 0.04779 52 45 7 0
4357 I didn't think it had gotten this far 1.1346 0.04779 52 45 7 0
4358 Talk to the cake 1.1346 0.04779 52 45 7 0
4359 They just don't get out much these days. 1.1346 0.04779 52 45 7 0
4360 Listen pal I have a thing going with the angel food cake. If you kind of put off the cutting for a while I'd be plenty obliged. 1.1346 0.04779 52 45 7 0
4361 Fiance insisted that I dress like the figure on the cake! Personally would have found a better modeller. 1.1346 0.05512 52 46 5 1
4362 I like it, but Bryan won’t like his figure. 1.1346 0.05512 52 46 5 1
4363 boring 1.1346 0.05512 52 46 5 1
4364 So the Best Man told you, Marriage was a 'piece of cake' huh? Only if you keep it fresh Bro, even after all the icing is long gone! 1.1346 0.05512 52 46 5 1
4365 A white cake? I ordered a chocolate cake with a black bride and groom! 1.1346 0.04779 52 45 7 0
4366 I know these figurines seem far part, but you'll have to be much farther away from your bride during the ceremony if you're to adhere to current social distancing requirements 1.1346 0.04779 52 45 7 0
4367 Hey guy, do you know how to do the Harlem cake? 1.1346 0.06158 52 47 3 2
4368 This tier has COVID on it 1.1346 0.04779 52 45 7 0
4369 I told them I was the one with the curly hair! 1.1333 0.04426 60 52 8 0
4370 Trust me it's better this way, David. And when you show up to her apartment and smash me in her face, she'll never see it coming! 1.1333 0.04426 60 52 8 0
4371 Sorry, you're too big to join them. 1.1321 0.04695 53 46 7 0
4372 The frosting is OK. I am afraid what she will say when she finds out I"m not divorsed yet 1.1290 0.04869 62 55 6 1
4373 Good, now just hold that..... 1.1224 0.04731 49 43 6 0
4374 You saying you want a piece of me? YOU WANT A PIECE OF ME? Why don't you grab that knife and fucking try me, bro? 1.1224 0.04731 49 43 6 0
4375 I shrunk her,do you want to join her? 1.1224 0.05558 49 44 4 1
4376 If you promise not to eat the cake, I'll tell you where the bride went. 1.1224 0.04731 49 43 6 0
4377 Melvin was alarmed when he discovered the wedding cake’s groom had left his fly open. 1.1224 0.04731 49 43 6 0
4378 If you’re going to kill me, at least make it quicker and less agonizing than your marriage. 1.1224 0.04731 49 43 6 0
4379 She can have him, but she can't eat him. 1.1224 0.05558 49 44 4 1
4380 Your bride is 500 miles away 1.1224 0.04731 49 43 6 0
4381 Stand back!!! It's the Lindsey Graham and Donald Trump Nuptials about to BLOW!! 1.1224 0.05558 49 44 4 1
4382 They could'a made me a little bigger! 1.1224 0.04731 49 43 6 0
4383 You think I'm talking . . .but don't worry. She'll get over him. Piece of cake . . . 1.1224 0.04731 49 43 6 0
4384 Eating the cake doesn't get you out of the marriage! 1.1224 0.05558 49 44 4 1
4385 I know...I told the bride she should be on that other cake six feet away. 1.1224 0.04731 49 43 6 0
4386 It was yesterday. But relax, I'm still in one piece! 1.1224 0.05558 49 44 4 1
4387 You weren’t a good fit for the role. Try the Brobdingnagian cake shop on 54th... 1.1224 0.04731 49 43 6 0
4388 It was lovely ceremony, very emotional. Even I was in tiers. 1.1224 0.04731 49 43 6 0
4389 Think about the caloric intake before you cut yourself a piece." 1.1224 0.05558 49 44 4 1
4390 Think of it as something to remember her bye by. 1.1224 0.04731 49 43 6 0
4391 ''Come on you are still young, run away with me before it's too late!'' 1.1224 0.04731 49 43 6 0
4392 Maybe it portends our luck will change? After all, we're stepping in 'chiffon'" 1.1224 0.05558 49 44 4 1
4393 You should cut the cake soon. He’s almost convinced her they don’t need to “get a room.” 1.1224 0.04731 49 43 6 0
4394 I AM the "gay marriage" cake. 1.1224 0.05558 49 44 4 1
4395 "Matt Damon's career survived 'Downsized.' You'll make it through your wedding day. 1.1224 0.05558 49 44 4 1
4396 Ironic isn't it? Icing is supposed to result in a face off. 1.1224 0.04731 49 43 6 0
4397 You had to add that silly face! Now he's going to halve his cake and eat us two. 1.1224 0.04731 49 43 6 0
4398 Talk about insult to injury - I couldn't dream of my bachelor party instead of my wedding?? 1.1224 0.04731 49 43 6 0
4399 I guess I still have my cake and eat it, too. 1.1224 0.04731 49 43 6 0
4400 Hope you got a good pre-nup Jocko, because after your bride finishes carving me up, you're next! 1.1224 0.04731 49 43 6 0
4401 There, but for the grace of God, go I. 1.1224 0.04731 49 43 6 0
4402 Before we go through with this, I want to make sure that you understand the cryonic preservation agreement for the top tier. 1.1224 0.05558 49 44 4 1
4403 @: "What's he doing here?" 1.1224 0.06276 49 45 2 2
4404 if you eat me they will come down 1.1224 0.04731 49 43 6 0
4405 ‘Steve, I told you I’ve moved on. Why don’t you just enjoy the wedding?’ 1.1224 0.04731 49 43 6 0
4406 I asked the planners how many people an orange alert wedding could take, not for an orange and poppyseed cake! 1.1224 0.04731 49 43 6 0
4407 No guests? No refund? No problem. Just freeze me and eat a slice on your anniversary for the next 200 years. 1.1224 0.04731 49 43 6 0
4408 Go away, you not the top frosting anymore. 1.1200 0.04642 50 44 6 0
4409 You are not social distancing. 1.1200 0.04642 50 44 6 0
4410 I told you that advertising two straight people in New York, Los Angeles, and Chicago, would devastate our business. 1.1200 0.04642 50 44 6 0
4411 so now Morgan knows what’s in the box and he looks back to realize Brad is going to shoot this guy unless he can get the gun 1.1200 0.05451 50 45 4 1
4412 WHAT?! I really don't think I should...I mean do you really want to? Right here in front of everyone?! Okay, if you insist! I've never met anyone so forward before, and you're a cake! 1.1200 0.05451 50 45 4 1
4413 I’ll be happy to inform you that marriage is more than just a piece of cake. 1.1200 0.05451 50 45 4 1
4414 You're gonna have to deal with a strong woman -- and no flowers on top. 1.1200 0.05451 50 45 4 1
4415 You've got cold feet. 1.1200 0.04642 50 44 6 0
4416 Forget it. You won’t fit. 1.1200 0.04642 50 44 6 0
4417 You know, a groom smushing cake in a bride's face without discussing it first feels like a great indicator that the marriage is gonna fail. She spent a lot of time on that makeup, bro. And you definitely didn't pull your weight planning this thing. 1.1200 0.04642 50 44 6 0
4418 Odd! She has my hair and the cake has a face. 1.1200 0.04642 50 44 6 0
4419 Can you please get your foot out of my ass. 1.1200 0.04642 50 44 6 0
4420 I'm a 'first meeting cake' . That girl you just talked to ordered it. 1.1200 0.04642 50 44 6 0
4421 I ordered a cake with two men on top, not a man and woman. 1.1200 0.04642 50 44 6 0
4422 psst! Hey bud. Come close and listen to me. You can take the girl off the top of the cake. I heard her talking! Your bride has left the building! 1.1200 0.05451 50 45 4 1
4423 Oh don't worry, I'm on sale this week- 50% off all "Eating My Feelings About COVID" cakes. 1.1200 0.06154 50 46 2 2
4424 she said she could not wait for you to get a haircut... 1.1200 0.03051 50 45 5 0
4425 Dear, after I told the cake maker to add bride to cake, I remember passing out, and I think I've been baked! 1.1200 0.05451 50 45 4 1
4426 I hope you don't consider fruitcake a bad omen. 1.1200 0.04642 50 44 6 0
4427 Have you tried searching on CakeMiniaturesLookingForDates.com? 1.1200 0.05451 50 45 4 1
4428 Happily never after 1.1200 0.06154 50 46 2 2
4429 , “ this cake makes true love look effortless; where’s the struggle, where’s the heartache? Not convincing” 1.1200 0.04642 50 44 6 0
4430 I saw you in the kitchen with Samantha. I want 1000$ and pure white sugar or I'll tell everyone. You don't want Jessica to know, do you Richard? 1.1200 0.05451 50 45 4 1
4431 I Steve, take thee Brenda, to have and to hold at a 6’ distance, in sickness and in health, until sudden fever or lack of toilet paper doth us do part.” 1.1200 0.05451 50 45 4 1
4432 So, she said she was okay with the number of tiers, but here we are, you confusing me with your best man. Talk to me, bud. 1.1200 0.04642 50 44 6 0
4433 Assure them it's not to late to esascpe! 1.1176 0.04556 51 45 6 0
4434 Do we really need to follow C.D.C. guidelines on our wedding cake? 1.1154 0.05249 52 47 4 1
4435 If you two are here, then who’s flying the plane?! 1.1154 0.04474 52 46 6 0
4436 If you're not with me, you're against me. 1.1087 0.04640 46 41 5 0
4437 Sorry pal, there are two figurines on top but I only see one of you. If you throw me you will have to clean me up. If you eat me you are going to be sick, almost as sick as it is to be listening to me. 1.1087 0.04640 46 41 5 0
4438 She eloped with your best man 1.1087 0.05585 46 42 3 1
4439 You order personalized, socially distanced figurines and they call me a fruitcake? 1.1087 0.04640 46 41 5 0
4440 Don't do it. The cake has no substance. 1.1087 0.04640 46 41 5 0
4441 So when do you plan to introduce me to that striking single mother of yours? Nudge if I could, nudge if I could? Wink if I could, wink if I could? 1.1087 0.04640 46 41 5 0
4442 More time with the parents-in-law won't be a piece of cake. 1.1087 0.04640 46 41 5 0
4443 I think he expected Ivanka and Jared! 1.1087 0.04640 46 40 5 0
4444 Hey! I've got tiers too! 1.1087 0.04640 46 41 5 0
4445 No on told me that wedding cake frosting was symbolic for Quicksand. 1.1087 0.04640 46 41 5 0
4446 Don't worry, she's just 6 feet away. 1.1087 0.04640 46 41 5 0
4447 She is enamored by your EBITDA 1.1087 0.04640 46 41 5 0
4448 She made a run for the hills, huh? 1.1087 0.04640 46 41 5 0
4449 At least I won't judge you for doing drugs at your wedding. 1.1087 0.05585 46 42 3 1
4450 It seems that the problem is that she wanted buttercream and he wanted royal icing. The joke's on them tough, I'm a chocolate ganache ! 1.1087 0.04640 46 41 5 0
4451 I hope she's planning on a marriage based on a "three tier" system ? 1.1087 0.04640 46 41 5 0
4452 Hasn't anyone told you? Your fly is open. 1.1087 0.04640 46 41 5 0
4453 I don't listen to much popular music. 1.1087 0.04640 46 41 5 0
4454 It probably is a better fit. 1.1087 0.04640 46 41 5 0
4455 Of course I still love her. I just can’t believe they gave me her lousy nose and she got my great hair!” David B. Smith Miami Beach F 1.1087 0.04640 46 41 5 0
4456 Oh to have feet of icing instead of clay! 1.1087 0.04640 46 41 5 0
4457 Sorry they are the only 2 here because of the pandemic David Belkin Bethesda Md. 1.1087 0.05585 46 42 3 1
4458 Want to let you know that there’s a naked girl inside—we thought this was for bachelor party. 1.1087 0.04640 46 41 5 0
4459 Well, you DID say, "I do. 1.1087 0.04640 46 41 5 0
4460 Congratulations, pal. The bad news is, you will never again have your cake and eat it too. 1.1087 0.04640 46 41 5 0
4461 Sorry, I ate the bride already. 1.1087 0.04640 46 41 5 0
4462 Didn’t you get the 4th save the date? 1.1087 0.04640 46 41 5 0
4463 If you build it, they will come #newyorkercaptioncontest 1.1087 0.04640 46 41 5 0
4464 With this economy, are you sure you want to do it? 1.1087 0.04640 46 41 5 0
4465 I wonder if it’s too late to order gingerbread masks. 1.1087 0.04640 46 41 5 0
4466 Rub some powder on my lips!” #nakedlunc 1.1087 0.04640 46 41 5 0
4467 Your cold feet are giving me brain freeze. 1.1087 0.04640 46 41 5 0
4468 Jim wondered if maybe his sweet tooth had taken things too far 1.1087 0.04640 46 41 5 0
4469 Does the fact that your guests will soon be gnawing at your foundation concern you? 1.1064 0.04546 47 42 5 0
4470 Have your cake and eat it too? 1.1064 0.04546 47 42 5 0
4471 The statistics are against you but I think you two are going to be great. 1.1064 0.04546 47 42 5 0
4472 I'm thinking Jared and Ivanka restating their marriage vows gives them a do-over ? Too bad there won't be many guests at that ceremony. 1.1064 0.04546 47 42 5 0
4473 It shoulda been me on the cake! 1.1064 0.05470 47 43 3 1
4474 I want a girl with a short skirt and a long jacket. 1.1064 0.05470 47 43 3 1
4475 How can I put this in a way you'll understand? Beat it. 1.1064 0.04546 47 42 5 0
4476 When will ‘Ben and Mary’ finally become ‘Ben and Jerry?’ 1.1064 0.05470 47 43 3 1
4477 It's ok, man, it's a cakewalk. 1.1064 0.04546 47 42 5 0
4478 The bad news is that the smart money at the bakery gives it two weeks, but the good news is that then you could get a full refund on the cake topper. 1.1064 0.04546 47 42 5 0
4479 A little too rich for your taste? 1.1064 0.04546 47 42 5 0
4480 If you didn't want to get dumped on your wedding day, you shouldn't have proposed to a cake topper. 1.1064 0.04546 47 42 5 0
4481 I look great, right? That baker’s a wizard! 1.1064 0.04546 47 42 5 0
4482 Maybe I’m being paranoid, but does the little dessert man look an awful lot like me? 1.1064 0.04546 47 42 5 0
4483 It's a big day for both of us. You are marrying some lady and I am no longer :O just googly eyes over a glory hole. 1.1064 0.04546 47 42 5 0
4484 Yeah, it's so bad I shed a tier too. 1.1042 0.04456 48 43 5 0
4485 Time to have my cake and hope never to eat it 1.1042 0.04456 48 43 5 0
4486 To really economize, we’re skipping the bride. 1.1042 0.04456 48 43 5 0
4487 Jilt her, I don’t wanna be eaten but I don’t want everyone to know I’m alive either 1.1042 0.04456 48 43 5 0
4488 How the hell and I going to get this thing to the zoom room. 1.1042 0.04456 48 43 5 0
4489 this doesn't look like an ice cream cake 1.1042 0.04456 48 43 5 0
4490 Would you like to dance? 1.1020 0.04369 49 44 5 0
4491 Hey Henry, down here. It’s me Lilly. Your mother had them bake me in the cake. 1.1020 0.04369 49 44 5 0
4492 Hey bud, you should be worried. Divorces are made in heaven too. 1.1020 0.04369 49 44 5 0
4493 As it turns out not all groomsmen are created equal. 1.1020 0.05253 49 45 3 1
4494 someone is spare in here,,, 1.0980 0.04205 51 46 5 0
4495 Don't cry for me, Argentino. He ain't heavy, he's your brother. 1.0962 0.04128 52 47 5 0
4496 How could you go with Sleepy Joe? HAVE YOU SEEN HIS MASK? !!!!!! 1.0962 0.04128 52 47 5 0
4497 That takes the cake. 1.0962 0.04128 52 47 5 0
4498 Who is the blonde on the front row? Why is she making cute faces at you? I thought you said you did not like cakes? I am soo tired standing upright all day, couldn't you arrange a chair or somthing? Why is my mom not on the cake?... 1.0962 0.04128 52 47 5 0
4499 It looks like you would prefer a birthday cake. 1.0962 0.04128 52 47 5 0
4500 We were together for years and celebrated our wedding anniversary together nw, it's only me had her soul 😢 1.0962 0.04128 52 47 5 0
4501 A certain Whitesnake song comes to mind 1.0962 0.04128 52 47 5 0
4502 You can eat me and marry her, and you’ll be together for a while, you’ll have some kids, maybe you’ll even be happy for a few brief moments here and there. Or you can live for yourself for the first time. You can marry a cake and eat a person. 1.0943 0.04053 53 48 5 0
4503 What happens if I eat the bride? 1.0943 0.04053 53 48 5 0
4504 I don't know why you're looking at me that way... she told me that she fell in love with another cake. 1.0943 0.04053 53 48 5 0
4505 Best 1.0930 0.04482 43 39 4 0
4506 I am in tiers because you didn’t play patty cake with me. 1.0930 0.04482 43 39 4 0
4507 Hey buddy why do I have to have extra Weight if your spouse never arrived to your wedding 1.0930 0.04482 43 39 4 0
4508 Hey, you're not the only one who's about to taste this cake. 1.0930 0.04482 43 39 4 0
4509 I'm just trying to hurry things along to the eventual divorce. 1.0930 0.04482 43 39 4 0
4510 Don't worry. A quake from the bottom layer will rip them apart. 1.0930 0.04482 43 39 4 0
4511 Why did they put the gardener with my wife on the wedding cake? 1.0930 0.04482 43 39 4 0
4512 She went to add a roller pin to the top. 1.0930 0.04482 43 39 4 0
4513 When I agreed to a virtual wedding, I hadn't thought about a virtual honeymoon too! 1.0930 0.04482 43 39 4 0
4514 At least you’re not looking at imminent litigation. 1.0930 0.04482 43 39 4 0
4515 Shed a tier, Gerard. The top tier. 1.0930 0.04482 43 39 4 0
4516 How many thick layers do YOU have? It is Mx and Mx. 1.0930 0.04482 43 39 4 0
4517 Don't make this any harder than it has to be. 1.0930 0.04482 43 39 4 0
4518 No Honeymoon : Social Distancing 1.0930 0.04482 43 39 4 0
4519 Make America Cake Again? 1.0930 0.04482 43 39 4 0
4520 Tell those two up top to hop off for a while. My back hurts. 1.0930 0.04482 43 39 4 0
4521 It's O.K. if YOU eat me, but not your wife. I have the side effect of preventing fellatio. 1.0930 0.04482 43 39 4 0
4522 Not yet. The wedding is the spinach. Then you can have a piece of me. 1.0930 0.04482 43 39 4 0
4523 So after I caught her with Mr. Waldorf Red Cake I said that) AppleWebKit/605.1.15 (KH 1.0930 0.04482 43 39 4 0
4524 Gross, why did they choose carrot cake? 1.0930 0.04482 43 39 4 0
4525 Suck it up, Buddy! Prime Member or not, Amazon will not take me back. 1.0930 0.04482 43 39 4 0
4526 Why do you think you got such a bargain price? Acme Temp Bakers are also maskless! 1.0930 0.04482 43 39 4 0
4527 As Shakespeare reminds us, 'He that will have a cake out of the wheat must tarry the grinding.' 1.0930 0.04482 43 39 4 0
4528 So when does the bride arrive? 1.0930 0.04482 43 39 4 0
4529 Mother warned me. Just like the cake I will have to climb new heights just to please her. 1.0930 0.04482 43 39 4 0
4530 50% of marriages end in divorce. 1.0930 0.04482 43 39 4 0
4531 Ironically, my friend, in practice, matrimony is anything but a piece of me. 1.0930 0.05582 43 40 2 1
4532 The bride and the groom aren’t edible (If we win place credit Lisa Rotstein and Joe Bornstein) 1.0930 0.04482 43 39 4 0
4533 You might consider viewing the big picture, twenty years from today. Early warnings suggest that she wishes to eat all of me. 1.0930 0.04482 43 39 4 0
4534 It’s not as sweet as it looks, Groomsman. 1.0930 0.04482 43 39 4 0
4535 'You said you wanted your bride to be little , cute and sweet . How was I supposed to know what you meant exactly?' (and I have a belated caption for the wolves and sheep : 'I said meat, not meet.') 1.0930 0.04482 43 39 4 0
4536 I didn't want to have to be the one to tell you this, but she's cheating on you, Frank. We spent a weekend together in Acapulco last summer. 1.0930 0.04482 43 39 4 0
4537 On second thought! 1.0930 0.02353 43 40 3 0
4538 Don’t worry. They’ll be married in time for dessert. 1.0930 0.04482 43 39 4 0
4539 Sorry,pal but she had a bad breakup with a giant. 1.0930 0.05582 43 40 2 1
4540 The "IDo"is contingent upon receipt of a Presidential Pardon! 1.0930 0.04482 43 39 4 0
4541 The Disappointment Groom 1.0930 0.04482 43 39 4 0
4542 So you're life size and Duff won the cake-off ... blah, blah, blah ....don't think I am relinquishing center stage spotlight to you. 1.0930 0.04482 43 39 4 0
4543 It's been five years since she left, but you keep looking at me every day, and I think that's sweet. 1.0930 0.04482 43 39 4 0
4544 Marie says “don’t let them eat cake” until they hash this out 1.0930 0.04482 43 39 4 0
4545 That's me, but who's she? 1.0930 0.04482 43 39 4 0
4546 Bring me just a little bit closer if you really want a mess! 1.0930 0.04482 43 39 4 0
4547 My bachelor days are over... 1.0930 0.04482 43 39 4 0
4548 Expect her next move to be a smear tactic. 1.0930 0.04482 43 39 4 0
4549 Already you’re starting to grow on me.” Douglas Monaghan, Floral Park, New Yor 1.0930 0.04482 43 39 4 0
4550 Arnold was taken aback when he realized that his ex-girlfriend, hiding in his wedding cake, was flirting with him. 1.0930 0.04482 43 39 4 0
4551 What? Who else were you expecting? 1.0930 0.04482 43 39 4 0
4552 Psst, hey Handsome! Knock those 2 off my head and you can have me all to yourself! 1.0930 0.04482 43 39 4 0
4553 They want a divorce 1.0930 0.04482 43 39 4 0
4554 this is a note from your buddy ,Frank this......this! contains your future to marry the one YOU hate she will coax you in to it yours truly , {from Susan} Susan...... see you on wensday 24 APRIL 2020!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 1.0930 0.04482 43 39 4 0
4555 Run away,keep running away! 1.0930 0.04482 43 39 4 0
4556 You're right, no matter how you slice it they should have dressed up! 1.0930 0.04482 43 39 4 0
4557 Give me your wallet or I’ll tell the President you’re straight. 1.0930 0.04482 43 39 4 0
4558 Cool wedding, but shouldn't the dolls on my head have been a bit more LGBTQIA+ inclusive? 1.0930 0.04482 43 39 4 0
4559 Check, gotcha, he does [underlined] look like one of the Three Stooges. But he's supposed [underlined] to look like you. 1.0930 0.04482 43 39 4 0
4560 What? I said I dough! 1.0930 0.04482 43 39 4 0
4561 This wasn’t how I remembered Jack and the Beanstalk ending 1.0930 0.04482 43 39 4 0
4562 Dude, that was Dustin Hoffman! 1.0930 0.04482 43 39 4 0
4563 I want to be in you. 1.0930 0.04482 43 39 4 0
4564 I guess I have to break the bad news to the wedding toppers that they'll need to practise social distancing... 1.0930 0.04482 43 39 4 0
4565 'A little love 🙏.' 1.0930 0.04482 43 39 4 0
4566 Stuck with just imagination of the future amidst the pandemic 1.0930 0.04482 43 39 4 0
4567 Was that today ? 1.0930 0.04482 43 39 4 0
4568 Too much psilocybin therapy in Oregon! 1.0930 0.04482 43 38 4 0
4569 Trump will win in December! 1.0930 0.04482 43 39 4 0
4570 I didn't want to assume your gender. Happy Birthday. 1.0930 0.04482 43 39 4 0
4571 Why did they put me in the dress? 1.0930 0.04482 43 39 4 0
4572 To be honest, I hope this bride figurine doesn’t get returned any more... 1.0930 0.04482 43 39 4 0
4573 Don’t worry, I hear the mayor of Denver is coming. 1.0930 0.04482 43 39 4 0
4574 Ma’am... I don’t think that’s what you think it is. 1.0930 0.04482 43 39 4 0
4575 I'll be cut to pieces soon, so I need to tell you that the baker forgot the filling. 1.0926 0.03982 54 49 5 0
4576 After covid, we were the only ones who showed ... Get it together, we can't both be in tiers. 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
4577 She's sleeping with Michael B. Jordan. 1.0909 0.05458 44 41 2 1
4578 You should give each other your figurine. Pins you can buy later. 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
4579 You can't eat me. Who'll take care of the kids? I've got a baker's dozen of them. 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
4580 Proportional social distancing, bro. 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
4581 You think you're nervous? I'm sitting in my pans here! 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
4582 Why aren't you wearing a top hat? 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
4583 Who ordered this cake? Bob will be outraged! What if I smash it? Damned Trumpers! 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
4584 Warning! This picture is not funny. 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
4585 Between the two, I’d prefer “have” me. 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
4586 Marry slow and divorce in a hurry 1.0909 0.05458 44 41 2 1
4587 She's not good enough for you. 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
4588 Next time you dip your fingers in some cake's frosting, make sure they aren't booked for your wedding! 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
4589 Yes, but I have to get out of this first. Shhhhh! There he is! 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
4590 For the curious, sadly, last week's good guy ended up sleeping with the fish (NOT 'fishes'). 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
4591 They won’t last longer than 3 years. 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
4592 Icing on the cake? I’m in tier three you jerk! 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
4593 Covid or no covid, if you wanted to be up there you needed to propose, buddy. 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
4594 Just remember, you can be replaced with a fleet of the wrist. 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
4595 I see you skipp 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
4596 Sir, I beg you, there are six of us trapped in the fake bottom of this cake, and 30 more hiding in the the silverware drawers. Please, you must grab the cake, put it in a large bag, rescue our friends & set us all free in the forest out back. OK? 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
4597 Sweet as I am, even I don't see you two together. 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
4598 Sorry you got jilted but at least you get to take me home. 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
4599 The end has come for the both of us my friend, I believe in you... 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
4600 Hey buddy, can you tell neighbors on 3rd floor to keep the racket down? 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
4601 So I know it’s been 90 days, but that’s not what what they meant by “90 Day Fiancé” 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
4602 Honey, it's me...YOUR WIFE! 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
4603 Well, seeing as you asked, fondant is basically a dough made mainly of icing sugar and sometimes marshmallows, whereas marzipan is a mixture of almond meal and sugar. 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
4604 Dream job. 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
4605 I guess the those two really did have a bun in the oven. 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
4606 Icing? More like I see how the economy is doing and I know what it means. So does the reader, it’s funny, we all understand 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
4607 Is it still 6ft social distancing if I’m with a cake? Cake: “C’mon dude. No mask? 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
4608 Well, she was right. It certainly is too embarrassing to be here... 1.0909 0.04384 44 40 4 0
4609 Speaking from the bottom of the pile. may I remind you that you can't both have your cake and eat it? 1.0889 0.05339 45 42 2 1
4610 No really....she said, "you're a great guy, but...." 1.0750 0.04218 40 37 3 0
4611 Sorry pal, but my gaydar is baked in. 1.0750 0.04218 40 37 3 0
4612 Oh no! That thug miniaturized my sister to force her to marry him! 1.0750 0.04218 40 37 3 0
4613 Hi, I'll be your cake today! My name is EC Oli. 1.0750 0.04218 40 37 3 0
4614 Looks like no Paul Hollywood handshake for YOU! 1.0750 0.04218 40 37 3 0
4615 Someone has vandalized my cake! 1.0750 0.02532 40 38 2 0
4616 Remember, you can’t have your cake and eat it too. 1.0750 0.04218 40 37 3 0
4617 Gone. Apparently she's excellent at Parkour. Those tiers were nothing for her. 1.0750 0.04218 40 37 3 0
4618 For accuracy's sake, you should really take her off the top, too. 1.0750 0.04218 40 37 3 0
4619 It's time to start letting yourself go. 1.0750 0.04218 40 37 3 0
4620 That tux better not be blue. 1.0750 0.04218 40 37 3 0
4621 You said that you would marry cake if you could. 1.0750 0.04218 40 37 3 0
4622 Wait a minute! That's not me! 1.0750 0.04218 40 37 3 0
4623 Damn my war begins 1.0750 0.04218 40 37 3 0
4624 Psst! We gotta put a stop to this! During your toast, mention the affairs! 1.0732 0.04118 41 38 3 0
4625 I saw this Twilight Zone where these toys, ballerina, clown etc. we're trying to escape up a wall, but keep hearing bells and fall back. 1.0732 0.04118 41 38 3 0
4626 cake 1.0732 0.04118 41 38 3 0
4627 Harry determined that the frosting medium was inferior to dirty car. 1.0732 0.04118 41 38 3 0
4628 If cakes could talk, I'd tell you all about your old man 1.0732 0.04118 41 38 3 0
4629 is Stimulus Payments are Essential 1.0732 0.04118 41 38 3 0
4630 Technically, I'm an enchanted cake, so no, I can't grant you any wishes. 1.0714 0.04022 42 39 3 0
4631 NO! I am not going to look up 1.0541 0.03769 37 35 2 0
4632 Bad omen! That's the best man up there with YOUR bride!" 1.0541 0.03769 37 35 2 0
4633 She loves him, not you. Get over it." 1.0541 0.03769 37 35 2 0
4634 ss “ Oh, no I don’t wanna see my mom and dad’s wedding cake again.” 1.0541 0.03769 37 35 2 0
4635 Hey, Buddy! Happen to have a knife on ya? 1.0526 0.03671 38 36 2 0
4636 Lovely wedding Mark. I’ve been in tiers all day 1.0526 0.03671 38 36 2 0
4637 Your hair, makes you taller than me!! 1.0294 0.02985 34 33 1 0
4638 Hi, I'm Cakey. You must be the Other Man. 1.0294 0.02985 34 33 1 0
4639 What? You think you can have your cake and eat it too? 1.0294 0.02985 34 33 1 0
4640 She said,"Well, that takes the cake!". I know who's the Cake Boss. 1.0294 0.02985 34 33 1 0
4641 Yikes ! Heterosexual. Proper social distancing at that size. No masks. Hmmm. Must be Red state independents . 1.0294 0.02985 34 33 1 0
4642 Help! I going to be eaten alive. 1.0294 0.02985 34 33 1 0
4643 Hi! I wanna let you know that he’s very sorry but he can’t make it wishes you the best...Now would you like to dig in with your bare hands? 1.0294 0.02985 34 33 1 0
4644 Glad you chose to quarantine with me, instead of your new bride 1.0294 0.02985 34 33 1 0
4645 Grab a stool… I'll show you why I'm a top 1% on OnlyFans. 1.0286 0.02899 35 34 1 0
4646 Don't be a vegetable. 1.0263 0.02667 38 37 1 0