Contest #724


Cartoon

724

The winning captions

These captions are chosen by The New Yorker.

  1. “To Archaeopteryx, spelled just like it sounds.”
  2. “I couldn’t put it down. In fact, I couldn’t pick it up.”
  3. “I’m also a voracious reader.”


Name Value
Submission deadline 2020-09-13T21:33:00.000Z
Voting started -
Voting ended 2020-09-27T21:34:00.000Z
Finalists announced 2020-09-21T21:33:00.000Z
Magazine(s) announcing finalists issued September 28, 2020
Number of captions 6151
Number of responses 999215
Number of participants -


Dashboard

In this table, the "mean" means the empirically measured average funniness score when the "unfunny", "somewhat funny" and "funny" receive a funniness score of 1, 2, 3 respectively. "Precison" is the standard error of the mean, the standard deviation of the mean estimate. With that, a caption with an empirical mean μ and precision σ has true mean in the range [μ - 2σ, μ + 2σ] with 95% probability by the 68-95-99.7 rule assuming the responses are indepedent and identically distributed.

Rank Caption Mean Precision Total votes "Unfunny" votes "Somewhat funny" votes "Funny" votes
0 "MEET ??". I heard "EAT". 2.0814 0.00839 9135 2595 3201 3339
1 I've been told there's a thesaurus here. 1.9583 0.01352 3624 1278 1219 1127
2 Mary Trump, your uncle sent me. 1.9369 0.00869 9746 3916 2529 3301
3 Oh really? Well, I thought bookstores were extinct. 1.9330 0.00762 12059 4651 3565 3843
4 To Archaebpteryx, spelled just like it sounds." 1.9000 0.00903 8718 3578 2434 2706
5 The phrase you used, I believe, was, “Hilariously short arms.” 1.8913 0.00775 10992 4286 3615 3091
6 Let ME tell YOU about the Paleo diet. 1.8883 0.01499 2829 1074 997 758
7 You're still publishing on paper and I'm the dinosaur? 1.8864 0.00806 10123 3965 3343 2815
8 I couldn’t put it down. In fact I couldn’t pick it up. 1.8420 0.00976 6925 2915 2189 1821
9 I'm also a voracious reader. 1.8343 0.01031 5720 2292 2084 1344
10 ...and about Chapter 2 when you say "Asteroids are by and large harmless..." 1.8279 0.00961 6846 2855 2314 1677
11 You people disgust me. Why's it always "slay the dragon" but never "pay the dragon"? Who gave you permission to use my likeness, Karen? My lawyers will be in touch. 1.8194 0.01005 7082 3288 1785 2009
12 I’m really not the monster you made me out to be, Barbara. 1.8084 0.00777 10119 4248 3562 2309
13 Your depiction of imaginary monsters was uninformed and prejudicial! 1.8045 0.00996 6691 3002 1995 1694
14 That's right, Margaret, take all the credit. Not like I've been under your bed since you were 3. 1.8011 0.00908 7668 3336 2521 1811
15 Why can't just ONE book be called Dragons and Dungeons? 1.7999 0.00978 6972 3161 2045 1766
16 Make it out to my cousin Puff. He was big in the 60's 1.7980 0.01588 2406 1022 848 536
17 It's Micropachycephalosaurus...but you can just say Mike 1.7977 0.01366 3099 1272 1182 645
18 I've already devoured the book, and couldn't wait to meet the author. 1.7892 0.00960 6504 2780 2315 1409
19 I would not have guessed the ending in 66 million years. 1.7781 0.01010 5975 2630 2041 1304
20 So moving - I laughed, I cried, I destroyed power lines and two cities. 1.7660 0.01096 5115 2310 1692 1113
21 Walnut-size brain is hurtful, Rebecca. 1.7362 0.01108 4685 2127 1667 891
22 I lunched on the 2 in line ahead of me. 1.7303 0.01274 4249 2192 1011 1046
23 I'm here for the free food. 1.7272 0.01165 5319 2843 1084 1392
24 Where is the Authorus? 1.7262 0.01238 4584 2410 1019 1155
25 Could we meet privately ?? 1.7187 0.01251 4430 2333 1010 1087
26 Slay the dragon!" "Destroy the dragon" "Save us from the dragon" I need a book that I can read to my kids 1.7105 0.01100 4884 2354 1590 940
27 Did you really think I wouldn't recognize myself, Doris? 1.7098 0.01006 5683 2699 1934 1050
28 No, not a copyright violation per se, but an acknowledgement would have been appropriate. 1.7089 0.01301 3748 1892 1055 801
29 Charles Darwin book signing 1.7085 0.01237 4981 2834 765 1382
30 I don’t read but you’ll be dying to meet me. 1.7063 0.01296 4191 2271 880 1040
31 I saw a line and just started eating. 1.6993 0.00897 8519 4599 1888 2032
32 Now that GoT is over, do you think I should get my own series .... Like 'The Drogon chronicles' 😁 1.6978 0.01286 4616 2671 669 1276
33 Just sign the damn book so I can eat! 1.6966 0.01317 4215 2374 746 1095
34 You had no right to call your book “A Farewell To Arms” 1.6909 0.01552 2595 1336 725 534
35 You had information about the comet for 6 months and didn’t tell anyone? 1.6879 0.01216 3931 1948 1262 721
36 Yes, there were climate change deniers even back then... 1.6841 0.01637 2121 1043 705 373
37 It made me sick. So, last writes. 1.6816 0.01413 3687 2130 601 956
38 Make it out toThesaurus. 1.6799 0.01063 5305 2710 1583 1012
39 Rumors of my extinction have been greatly exaggerated. 1.6752 0.01620 2072 1009 727 336
40 I'm sorry to show up like this, but you treat me like I don't exist. 1.6748 0.01351 3090 1537 1021 532
41 Your book "Am I A Dragon Or A Dinosaur?" completely changed my life. 1.6730 0.01238 3667 1825 1216 626
42 I'm especially interested in the chapter on surviving climate change. 1.6714 0.01300 3372 1696 1088 588
43 He comes to all of these--he's the Thesaurus Rex. 1.6699 0.01064 5177 2652 1582 943
44 After that ending, you're lucky I'm a plant-eater. 1.6690 0.01708 1885 933 643 309
45 I just loved your first book, The Dragon with the Girl Tattoo! 1.6668 0.01395 3052 1584 901 567
46 We agreed, my one nighter with Barney was off the record. 1.6643 0.01891 1668 871 486 311
47 What an ending, I really didn't see the meteorite coming! 1.6563 0.01239 3608 1832 1184 592
48 No, I'm sure it said EAT the Author 2 P.M.! 1.6514 0.01231 3787 1977 1153 657
49 Where's the cozy? 1.6475 0.01447 3651 2265 408 978
50 I thought it was 'Eat, Prey, Love'... 1.6426 0.01831 1595 813 539 243
51 Make it out to Your Oldest Fan. 1.6365 0.02213 1117 582 359 176
52 Your prose is barbaric and outdated. Huge fan. 1.6364 0.01365 3050 1623 913 514
53 I hated the way it suddenly ended. 1.6361 0.01364 2940 1533 944 463
54 My name is Puff, remember me? 1.6313 0.01389 2929 1567 875 487
55 Well this is awkward. I thought the sign said ‘Eat the Author’. 1.6289 0.01171 4061 2178 1218 665
56 Maurice Sendak was my friend, you're no Maurice Sendak. 1.6182 0.02257 1129 622 316 191
57 I just wanted to say that your idea of fantasy lacks all reality. 1.6153 0.01265 3639 2029 981 629
58 The Big Bang was NOT a romance novel 1.6147 0.01405 3216 1879 697 640
59 What the HELL Karen?! I told you all of that in CONFIDENCE!!! 1.6126 0.01495 2589 1445 702 442
60 Hell, I was extinct! You should be asking me for an autograph! 1.6110 0.02125 1216 662 365 189
61 Just because I have thick skin, doesn’t mean your words don’t hurt. 1.6106 0.01522 2211 1164 744 303
62 Oh, I thought it was "eat" the author. Can I still get my parking validated? 1.6105 0.01341 3096 1700 902 494
63 I loved your descriptions of the villagers. It's like I could taste them. 1.6039 0.02176 1073 569 360 144
64 Oh, this book is about Dinah SHORE?? 1.6013 0.01596 2265 1285 598 382
65 I am sorry, my mistake! I thought it said ‘Eat the author, 2pm’ 1.6012 0.02245 1013 541 335 137
66 Really, Jill? I’m the one who couldn’t evolve? 1.6011 0.01536 2261 1234 695 332
67 Fiction? You certainly thought I was plenty real when you were a child. 1.5994 0.01582 2107 1146 659 302
68 I didn't cut, people just kinda let me in. 1.5922 0.01647 1871 1014 607 250
69 What I love about your writing is how it appeals to an older audience. 1.5922 0.01914 1383 747 453 183
70 You can't use dragon meat in your recipes, lady. 1.5887 0.01786 2018 1235 378 405
71 Could you carbon date it as well?” 1.5823 0.01869 1592 914 429 249
72 You made me look like an asshole in chapter 15. 1.5817 0.01612 2137 1227 577 333
73 Just for the record... it wasn't a meteor. 1.5806 0.01651 1922 1075 578 269
74 I thought they said eat the author at 2PM 1.5770 0.01655 2038 1182 536 320
75 Well I think those six years spent living under your bed deserve an acknowledgment! 1.5693 0.01825 1558 884 461 213
76 The story arc is always the same for characters that look like me 1.5675 0.01778 1748 1024 456 268
77 Nobody checked with me for the right pronouns! 1.5671 0.01822 1714 1019 418 277
78 Are these ferns, steak, or just some stuff with leaves? 1.5657 0.02001 1690 1098 228 364
79 I know I wasn’t the best mother, but you make me sound like an absolute monster! 1.5645 0.01877 1403 785 444 174
80 It was awesome when the maiden said she actually liked the dragon's den and told the knight to get lost. 1.5631 0.02036 1188 665 377 146
81 When Harry Met Sally... 1.5629 0.02049 1581 1021 230 330
82 Wait, this isn’ t about the princess! 1.5626 0.01920 1653 1023 330 300
83 The pyromaniac character really hit home for me. 1.5624 0.01870 1675 1017 374 284
84 No, no, no.....I wrote a biography of DINAH SHORE ! 1.5598 0.01949 1488 892 359 237
85 Mam, I knew Puff, and he despised magic, I've never known him to "frolic", and he has never set hoof in Honahlee 1.5584 0.01960 1379 804 380 195
86 I don't care if you are a paleontologist. Only I can tell my story! 1.5584 0.01878 1542 910 403 229
87 Why did they all have to die at the end? 1.5570 0.01910 1386 793 414 179
88 I have always found your work transformative, I have never been so comfortable with myself 1.5566 0.01924 1563 952 352 259
89 Another tell all book about me! 1.5556 0.02016 1494 933 292 269
90 I devoured your last book. 1.5525 0.01917 1343 766 412 165
91 I’m a dinosaur? What about the Electoral College?” 1.5521 0.02586 815 486 208 121
92 Of course I'm mad, you made me out to be a monster. 1.5497 0.02081 1126 642 349 135
93 A member of the dinosaur clade known as theropoda - generally classified as saurischian dinosaurs, the majority of which are carnivores - who has cut in line because they can, in order to “Meet The Author, 2PM.” 1.5477 0.02138 1364 873 235 256
94 We need to get some facts straight in your book The Library Dragon. 1.5433 0.02221 1270 820 210 240
95 I so much appreciated your sensitive portrayal of a reptile disfunction. 1.5432 0.02231 1145 707 254 184
96 What do you mean, I don't qualify for a senior discount? 1.5430 0.02335 1011 615 243 153
97 Please sign a copy to Fred and Wilma. 1.5428 0.02345 982 592 247 143
98 I laughed, I cried, I destroyed an entire village. 1.5422 0.02187 1042 607 305 130
99 What exactly makes you an expert on the Paleo diet? 1.5411 0.02052 1229 729 335 165
100 I loved the part about global warming being a hoax. 1.5404 0.02408 903 539 240 124
101 I think I’ve eaten everything you’ve ever written. 1.5401 0.02281 959 561 278 120
102 Yours is the first paleo diet that's worked for me. 1.5398 0.02112 1132 666 321 145
103 I'm sorry, this book is about the History of Tijuana" 1.5371 0.02359 1145 752 171 222
104 So, according to your book, I'm extinct?! 1.5369 0.01994 1166 695 328 143
105 I knew Michael Crichton, lady, and you are no Michael Crichton. 1.5364 0.02150 1139 686 295 158
106 I've been waiting so long I started turning into a bird! 1.5347 0.02393 864 508 250 106
107 If I was extinct, would I be here? 1.5343 0.02530 743 430 229 84
108 Just sign it, 'To my ex-husband Dave, who is every bit the cold-blooded reptile I portrayed him as on page 34.' 1.5336 0.02132 1087 640 314 133
109 No I didn’t eat your book! I said the ending was hard to swallow. 1.5336 0.02929 596 356 162 78
110 Actually, ‘dragon’ is an outdated term. And as someone from the ‘scaled, fire-breathing community,’ I really resent your representation of my people. I’ve never once ‘abducted a virgin’ and your claim that we ‘hoard gold’ is very offensive.” 1.5288 0.02271 1040 639 252 149
111 Wanna say that ‘lizard brain’ stuff to my face? 1.5266 0.02407 866 519 238 109
112 I'm totally kind and nice, except if I have to wait for this nonsense 1.5255 0.02456 1001 652 172 177
113 I absolutely devoured your last few books 1.5253 0.02224 988 587 283 118
114 Loved your book however I take issue with the use of the term extinct. 1.5249 0.02152 983 568 314 101
115 Do I look extinct to you? 1.5232 0.02322 906 540 258 108
116 1:58? You're really going to make us wait? Jerk. 1.5223 0.02481 963 625 173 165
117 I told you that story in confidence Carol 1.5220 0.02280 956 575 263 118
118 You're pretty smug for someone not wearing chainmail. 1.5217 0.02445 805 478 234 93
119 Extinction is such an ugly word. 1.5170 0.02481 795 479 221 95
120 I really love how you captured the internal struggle of the monster; most authors just focus on the wanton destruction, not the why. 1.5164 0.02389 883 539 232 112
121 You made me seem like a monster. 1.5159 0.02339 878 526 251 101
122 I am an omnivorous reader. 1.5128 0.02743 626 374 183 69
123 Your 'monster' also hosted BBQs and gave rides to underprivledged townspeople. But did that make the book?!?! Noooooooooo." 1.5119 0.02410 838 508 231 99
124 You call it sci-fi. I call it cultural appropriation. 1.5115 0.02495 829 515 204 110
125 No, I mean I literally devoured it. 1.5103 0.02489 829 515 205 109
126 Please dedicate it to "my favorite Reptilia Bibliophilia." May I remind you that the sign says "meet the author" not "eat the author." 1.5103 0.02592 829 533 169 127
127 My eyes are up here. 1.5084 0.02696 712 445 172 95
128 Maybe I don't believe in you either. 1.5080 0.02681 628 372 193 63
129 And you’re not a real maiden. 1.5062 0.02663 721 450 177 94
130 Just ONE time can the prince and the dragon talk it out instead of the slaying thing? 1.5053 0.02619 655 389 201 65
131 At least allow the characters to evolve. 1.5049 0.02558 713 430 206 77
132 Your book saved my life. I wish my friends had read it. 1.5045 0.02447 773 465 226 82
133 Finally. I've been standing in line for ages. 1.5039 0.02449 766 460 226 80
134 I’m here to tell you not everyone lived happily ever after! 1.5024 0.03369 416 253 117 46
135 You're not what I expected either. 1.5020 0.02567 741 457 196 88
136 Book reviewer. Why do you ask? 1.5014 0.02557 728 445 201 82
137 And I don’t breathe fire for the fun of it, it’s acid reflux, okay? 1.5007 0.02609 733 457 185 91
138 I thought the email said, "Eat the Author" 1.4986 0.02568 718 450 182 86
139 Inscribe it to my kid, he thinks you’re pretend 1.4979 0.02638 709 442 181 86
140 Go on! Say that I have a tiny brain to my face. 1.4977 0.02665 663 406 184 73
141 You know, not all of us breathe fire and guard princesses in towers. Some of us like to knit or garden. 1.4964 0.02486 701 417 220 64
142 I also didn't think I'd live to see this day. 1.4964 0.02607 695 427 191 77
143 Personally I found the protagonist to be somewhat un-evolved. 1.4956 0.02485 688 407 221 60
144 What about age discrimination? 1.4934 0.02911 683 458 113 112
145 Great book. You might need to tweak the part about the meteors killing us all. 1.4917 0.02656 604 360 191 53
146 Your 'Shape Shifting for Dummies' book has some serious flaws. 1.4900 0.02901 647 425 127 95
147 I am a "Fire and Flight enabled Reptile"; pleased do not use the pejorative "Dragon" 1.4894 0.02692 615 374 181 60
148 I couldn't help but notice you shunned the Oxford comma. 1.4894 0.02953 564 356 140 68
149 On the upside, the line is a lot shorter now. 1.4892 0.02704 650 405 172 73
150 Listen lady...I was there...and you got it all wrong! 1.4873 0.02730 630 392 169 69
151 I devoured your book, and found it tasteless. 1.4847 0.02689 619 380 178 61
152 The Dragon's Lair"? I don't appreciate your cultural appropriation 1.4827 0.02892 607 392 137 78
153 I hated the chapter about the meteor. 1.4824 0.02729 597 367 172 58
154 That fossil that made you famous is my grandmother. 1.4815 0.02834 596 377 151 68
155 Great book. It only took me a few knights to get through it! 1.4808 0.02850 547 337 157 53
156 I thought we agreed my interview was to be off the record" 1.4806 0.02804 593 372 157 64
157 'He slithered into the room with reptilian ease...'? Really, that's what passes for writing these days? 1.4805 0.02818 589 370 155 64
158 You wrote that I ate babies. It was just the one baby, OK? 1.4796 0.02674 588 356 182 50
159 Your book is an egregious example of species appropriation. 1.4785 0.02815 581 364 156 61
160 I told you about the fire-breathing dysfunction in confidence, Janet. 1.4770 0.02854 564 354 151 59
161 And that’s when Brenda realized that her research on the late Cretaceous period may not have been thorough enough. 1.4770 0.02931 564 361 137 66
162 And why can’t the dragon save the princess now and then? 1.4770 0.02909 564 359 141 64
163 Your name is 2PM? 1.4756 0.03330 471 311 96 64
164 I'm a old friend of Mr. Sendak's. 1.4751 0.02861 562 354 149 59
165 You weren’t even there! 1.4750 0.02924 560 358 138 64
166 Not to Rex...T-Rex! 1.4741 0.03071 502 320 126 56
167 Did you have to include every salacious detail about our frolic in Honahlee? 1.4727 0.03018 550 359 122 69
168 Oh, come on – did you really think I would not recognize me?! 1.4726 0.02914 548 348 141 59
169 Christ, Susan, how many times do I need to apologize? You didn’t have to go and write a whole book about it! 1.4719 0.02922 534 337 142 55
170 I'm here to discuss 'cultural appropriation'. 1.4693 0.02971 522 332 135 55
171 I hear you've been using a thesaurus. They're my cousins. 1.4679 0.03144 421 259 127 35
172 You're a Paleontologist? I told you those details in confidence! 1.4665 0.03081 508 330 119 59
173 That's your advice? Thicker skin?? 1.4663 0.02969 504 318 137 49
174 Your book made my blood run warm. 1.4651 0.03061 501 323 123 55
175 Marjorie considers how to quickly explain the title of her new book, "How to Slay Your Dragon" is a metaphor. 1.4651 0.03008 501 319 131 51
176 You probably don't remember me. I was at your first book signing. 1.4644 0.03106 491 318 118 55
177 Tyrannosaurus...traditional spelling. 1.4636 0.03079 494 319 121 54
178 I DID listen to Terry Gross, and I'm sure she said EAT the author. 1.4628 0.03038 497 319 126 52
179 Huge fan. HUGE. 1.4626 0.03047 495 318 125 52
180 The chapter on ‘How to Reignite Your Inner Fire’ really resonated with me 1.4626 0.03140 495 325 111 59
181 Last year at Barnes & Noble. Are you SURE you don't remember me? 1.4609 0.03129 486 317 114 55
182 English majors will be extinct long before I am! 1.4608 0.03341 408 262 104 42
183 No. It’s “meet” the author. There’s an “m”. 1.4607 0.03056 484 310 125 49
184 Just make it out to “Rex”. 1.4606 0.03093 482 311 120 51
185 It wasn’t your story to tell. 1.4599 0.03187 474 311 108 55
186 You think you could write a book about me, and then I wouldn't show? 1.4586 0.03057 471 300 126 45
187 Oh! I thought it was eat the author 1.4586 0.03244 471 313 100 58
188 I believe I may be one of the demons you wanted to confront. 1.4585 0.03300 386 242 111 33
189 You really got me to see it from the damsel’s perspective. 1.4584 0.03111 469 302 119 48
190 As a Jurrasic-American, I find your paleontology book a little insensitive. 1.4581 0.03145 465 301 115 49
191 You said my character would evolve. 1.4574 0.03017 470 297 131 42
192 Well, what you call "fantasy" I call "cultural appropriation." 1.4569 0.03165 464 302 112 50
193 And another thing... what's this nonsense about breathing fire. I exhale it. Obviously. 1.4567 0.03189 462 302 109 51
194 Please hurry. I'm on a 3 p.m. flight to Tokyo. 1.4557 0.03370 406 264 99 43
195 Let's see if your pen is mightier than a sword now. 1.4553 0.03189 459 300 109 50
196 Plagiasorous! 1.4553 0.03278 459 306 97 56
197 Do I look extinct? 1.4547 0.03190 453 295 110 48
198 The author of "Spay Your Dragon" began to regret her subject choice. 1.4547 0.03190 453 295 110 48
199 Elaine faced down yet another literary dinosaur. 1.4537 0.03107 454 291 120 43
200 Oh my goodness, I’ve waited 146 million years for this moment, I’m a huge fan! 1.4535 0.03069 452 287 125 40
201 What do you mean, the asteroid was fake news?! 1.4535 0.03179 452 294 111 47
202 No, it's Bronte's Thesaurus. 1.4519 0.03204 447 292 108 47
203 So embarrassing. Would you mind handing me a book? I can't reach 1.4512 0.03139 441 283 117 41
204 I’m sorry I called Jared Kushner a reptilian monster. That was unfair to you and I apologize. 1.4509 0.03276 448 298 98 52
205 Peter, Paul and Mary couldn't make it. 'To Puff' will be fine. Burp. Excuse me. 1.4506 0.03252 435 285 104 46
206 I’m dying to know what happened at the end, after they see that big asteroid on the sky... 1.4506 0.03252 435 285 104 46
207 My mistake. I thought it said ‘EAT THE AUTHOR’.” 1.4503 0.03247 433 283 105 45
208 It’s not Micropachycephalosaurus Rex, it’s just BOB 1.4503 0.03328 433 288 95 50
209 Godzilla was my mother, not father. 1.4501 0.03419 431 292 84 55
210 Our thirst for knowledge will never become extinct. Now make it out to Rex, please. 1.4498 0.03268 438 289 101 48
211 Being the foremost expert on giant lizards, (Ironically her latest book being about such lizards) the author knew that if she sat very still and not make eye contact, it would eventually tire and go away. 1.4498 0.03236 438 287 105 46
212 So, is this meteor thing only speculative fiction? 1.4486 0.03189 428 276 112 40
213 What is this about Police Reform? 1.4479 0.03663 422 300 55 67
214 A footnote? Is that all I am to you? 1.4468 0.03180 423 272 113 38
215 Your book made me look like some sort of monster! 1.4463 0.03237 419 272 107 40
216 Any resemblance to actual persons is coincidental?" ANY resemblance"? Really, Lois 1.4444 0.03192 414 266 112 36
217 Rex stood in line patiently, hoping that there will be no Thesaurus jokes this time. 1.4444 0.03282 414 271 102 41
218 What? I thought it was Eat the Author at 2pm. 1.4439 0.03532 410 282 74 54
219 Liz, what I told you in the castle was off-the-record. 1.4439 0.03269 410 267 104 39
220 My name? It’s spelled *just* like it sounds: Eustreptospondylus! 1.4436 0.03545 408 281 73 54
221 When I say I've been waiting for ages, I really mean ages. 1.4431 0.03160 413 264 115 34
222 You said you weren’t going to use my real name! 1.4431 0.03252 413 269 105 39
223 I was told these people wanted a singed copy. 1.4428 0.03245 411 267 106 38
224 Sorry, I thought it was eat the author. 1.4420 0.03389 405 270 91 44
225 I feel like I’ve been waiting here forever. 1.4420 0.03260 405 263 105 37
226 I cannot believe you named the only Dinosour in the book ‘Terry Dactyl’ 1.4414 0.03358 401 265 95 41
227 Ah shoot, by the time we get there she's going to be toast." 1.4410 0.03488 356 232 91 33
228 Had I known you were planning a tell-all, I never would’ve accepted your strings and sealing wax and other fancy stuff. 1.4409 0.03418 406 273 87 46
229 Stegosaurus: ‘slow moving plant-eater’ my ass! 1.4409 0.03309 406 267 99 40
230 Yes, if you could make it out to ‘last of a dying breed’ that would really make my day! 1.4406 0.03284 404 264 102 38
231 Well, your arms aren’t so great either ! 1.4406 0.03227 404 261 108 35
232 Your book is another example of the institutional tokenism of my species in fantasy and the media. 1.4406 0.03430 404 272 86 46
233 Actually could you sign it "To Mothra"? It's for a friend. 1.4397 0.03338 398 262 97 39
234 I was just a science experiment to you. I feel so used, so...slimy. 1.4391 0.03164 394 250 115 29
235 Climate change? Let me tell YOU about climate change! 1.4391 0.03438 394 264 87 43
236 Five bucks says she won't know how to spell Carcharodontosaurus. 1.4391 0.03304 394 257 101 36
237 Seems like a million years ago since your last book 1.4388 0.03216 392 251 110 31
238 To Mothra, Rodan and King Kong. The other two are for me. 1.4385 0.02777 390 267 90 33
239 Now our friends think I'm some kind of monster. 1.4385 0.03227 390 250 109 31
240 Everyone in my book club ate it up - with relish. 1.4381 0.03380 388 256 94 38
241 Still want to deny my existence? 1.4381 0.03534 388 264 78 46
242 Lost for words? Have you never seen a Thesaurus before? 1.4373 0.03744 343 233 70 40
243 I love how you captured the reptilian narrative and point-of-view. 1.4367 0.03285 387 251 103 33
244 Suddenly, Marsha remembered her co-author and the promise of royalties she'd so easily forgotten. 1.4360 0.03350 383 251 97 35
245 Your climate change theories are intriguing. 1.4354 0.03375 379 249 95 35
246 Sleeve length is always my biggest issue. 1.4350 0.03346 377 246 98 33
247 I'm not leaving until you tell them what really happened. 1.4347 0.03250 375 240 107 28
248 Did you even try to tell my side of the story? 1.4339 0.03275 378 244 104 30
249 I thought print books were extinct. 1.4339 0.03462 378 253 86 39
250 And anther thing, Twain did not coin the phrase that "The reports of my death are greatly exaggerated, 1.4327 0.03555 379 259 76 44
251 Oooh, I thought it was ‘eat’ the author. 1.4327 0.03225 379 243 108 28
252 The main character's struggle to fit in really resonated with me. 1.4325 0.03557 326 212 87 27
253 You've captured the flavor of the Jurassic Period perfectly! I laughed. I cried! I roared! 1.4324 0.03367 370 242 96 32
254 Extinction” was a great read, but I think you got a few things wrong.. 1.4316 0.03412 373 247 91 35
255 I didn't expect a kiss and tell, Marilyn. 1.4313 0.03382 371 244 94 33
256 Just sign it, “To a fellow vegan.” 1.4301 0.03464 365 243 87 35
257 Make it "To Rex," please. 1.4301 0.03464 365 243 87 35
258 I really liked the book until the part about an asteroid and mass extinction. No one is going to believe that. 1.4301 0.03508 365 245 83 37
259 Repeat that part about my arms. 1.4301 0.03399 365 240 93 32
260 You need to hire a fact-checker. I'm not extinct. 1.4294 0.03536 361 243 81 37
261 Ingrid's inner demon picked an awkward time to show up. 1.4286 0.03756 308 205 74 29
262 Sorry, my mask burned up. 29th one this week! 1.4286 0.03660 329 220 77 32
263 That character is a composite of dragons I have known, not any one dragon. 1.4282 0.03396 355 232 94 29
264 Thank you so much, my son is obsessed with humans. 1.4274 0.03375 358 234 95 29
265 Retract or Tokyo burns. 1.4270 0.03592 356 242 76 38
266 Susan's exposé on Where the Wild Things actually are, was about to have real-world consequences. 1.4270 0.03481 356 237 86 33
267 I still miss Sendak, but you're good. 1.4266 0.03517 354 237 83 34
268 That evil dragon you wrote about has a son. And that son has feelings. And a name. And that name is Randy. 1.4261 0.03531 352 236 82 34
269 He looks like a voracious reader 1.4253 0.03810 308 208 69 31
270 Where do you stand on the Oxford Comma? 1.4253 0.03652 348 238 72 38
271 Anna was afraid one her characters would come back to haunt her. 1.4244 0.03566 344 231 80 33
272 If you were right about me, you'd be lunch by now. 1.4244 0.03637 344 234 74 36
273 I was there, lady. Your characterization of us as vicious killers running wild is wrong. Many of us had jobs, and families, and we cared about the environment. 1.4232 0.03462 345 228 88 29
274 I came here as soon as I finished my shift at the museum 1.4232 0.03605 345 234 76 35
275 Oh please. How am I being predatory? 1.4230 0.03693 305 202 77 26
276 I doubt she envisioned this when she wrote “Controlling Your Pet With Tough Love.” 1.4227 0.03758 343 239 63 41
277 I don't know about mythic, but my parents always told me I was exceptional. 1.4227 0.03572 343 231 79 33
278 Finally! It feels like I've been waiting in line for 65 million years! 1.4227 0.03596 343 232 77 34
279 i'm not angry, that's how we smile! 1.4227 0.03621 317 210 80 27
280 Make it to Puff 1.4223 0.03705 341 235 68 38
281 I'll have you know I'm alive and well and living in a co-op in Chula Vista. 1.4218 0.03108 339 235 75 29
282 Please sign it: "to Bronny Brontosarus". 1.4218 0.03971 339 245 45 49
283 The cruelly chosen word can pierce even the thickest armor, Carol. 1.4199 0.03588 331 222 79 30
284 I know it's you, Donald. Go home. The secret service is looking for you. 1.4192 0.03664 334 228 72 34
285 Please sign it to Puff M.D. Thanks so much! 1.4187 0.03370 332 230 71 31
286 I absolutely devoured your last book! 1.4187 0.03450 332 218 89 25
287 Finally a paleo diet book with recipes I can stick too. You available for dinner? 1.4187 0.03463 332 231 68 33
288 Just write "To the mythical creation from Chapter 3", please 1.4187 0.03260 332 231 71 30
289 Oh yeah? Well, my meat-eater brain was big enough to find you! 1.4177 0.03584 328 220 79 29
290 We’re called Herbivores. Not ‘vegans.’ Look it up. 1.4167 0.03615 324 218 77 29
291 A guy calling himself St. George was supposed to meet me here. 1.4161 0.03439 322 210 90 22
292 Your theories about our extinction are, to put it mildly, flawed. 1.4161 0.03577 322 215 80 27
293 Sorry, I thought this was to “Eat the Author”. 1.4161 0.03550 322 224 66 32
294 I hated the ending. 1.4161 0.03736 322 221 68 33
295 I am NOT fiction! 1.4159 0.03769 327 227 64 36
296 Sally knew she’d ‘’made it’ after seeing her audience’s breadth. 1.4159 0.03892 327 232 54 41
297 I brought my parents to meet you! 1.4143 0.03717 321 220 69 32
298 No, I'm not a thesaurus. Just sign the book. 1.4138 0.03888 319 225 56 38
299 I almost didn't make it; there was an asteroid. 1.4138 0.03571 319 213 80 26
300 The hunting passages obviously were written by an herbivore. 1.4135 0.03423 312 202 91 19
301 'No, I CAN'T reach it! Just sign one for me!' 1.4132 0.03723 317 217 69 31
302 TAKE IT FROM ME, YOUR SENTENCES DRAG ON. 1.4132 0.03776 317 219 65 33
303 That meteor ending was so obvious! 1.4132 0.03459 317 215 76 26
304 He’s been sleeping, but he’s really up for this. 1.4127 0.04246 315 236 28 51
305 I knew how it ended but couldn't put it down. 1.4127 0.03686 315 214 72 29
306 Wanna find out if my arms are actually useless? 1.4127 0.03767 315 217 66 32
307 Ms. St. George, I read your book and it slayed me” 1.4127 0.03546 315 209 82 24
308 If I could reach across this table... 1.4121 0.03811 313 217 63 33
309 Was our relationship just a fantasy tale, too? 1.4116 0.03488 311 204 86 21
310 I’ve been a fan since the Mesozoic era. 1.4116 0.03662 311 210 74 27
311 If in your book, dragons fly, why did I just have to take the subway? 1.4116 0.03662 311 210 74 27
312 Extinct? I heard the same about you. 1.4110 0.03707 309 210 71 28
313 It's fantasy" is no excuse for hurtful stereotypes 1.4110 0.03707 309 210 71 28
314 Should I be standing six feet apart from the face, or the end of its tail? 1.4110 0.03533 309 204 83 22
315 I don't care if Tolkien did it, it's still a pretty offensive stereotype." 1.4097 0.03612 310 208 77 25
316 I'm here to test your faith in creationism. 1.4097 0.03781 310 214 65 31
317 No. I said, bring me a thesaurus. 1.4092 0.03787 303 208 66 29
318 No I can't change the ending to make the dinosaurs win. 1.4092 0.03729 303 206 70 27
319 So you're the smartypants scientist who wrote this book called 'DINOSAURS: Thank God They Are Extinct'. 1.4089 0.03644 313 212 74 27
320 For the last time: the meteor is fake news! 1.4085 0.03479 306 213 66 27
321 Margaret finally understood how writing was the best way to come face to face with you childhood daemons. 1.4085 0.03702 306 208 71 27
322 You used my real name; now my wife won't talk to me. 1.4085 0.03731 306 209 69 28
323 D-Rex? Really? You concealed my identity by changing my name to D-rex? 1.4085 0.03673 306 207 73 26
324 You know what isn't fictitious? My defamation case. 1.4085 0.03788 306 211 65 30
325 You spelled archaeopteryx wrong on page 73 1.4072 0.03546 307 204 81 22
326 Something tells me we should have gotten her autograph before this guy jumped the line. 1.4067 0.03754 300 205 68 27
327 Can't you people ever let the dragon be the hero?! 1.4067 0.03956 300 212 54 34
328 According to your book I don't exist. Please sign it , "For Dino, with apologies". 1.4067 0.03928 300 211 56 33
329 I told you it was off the record! 1.4067 0.03571 300 199 80 21
330 3 weeks? I was on top for 3 million years! 1.4065 0.03998 278 193 57 28
331 The ending stinks. 1.4060 0.03771 298 204 67 27
332 It was at that moment she began to regret naming her new book "Dinosaurs Suck". 1.4060 0.03953 266 181 62 23
333 So. Too cool to remember me now?! 1.4054 0.03759 296 202 68 26
334 Oh, I thought it was 'eat.' Never mind. My bad. 1.4048 0.03807 294 202 65 27
335 I’ve been waiting for ages 1.4048 0.03986 294 208 53 33
336 Why are WE always the bad guys? 1.4048 0.03651 294 197 75 22
337 What happened between us was ancient history. 1.4048 0.03587 294 195 79 20
338 You call it fantasy, I call it toxic perpetuation of dracophobic stereotypes. 1.4043 0.03954 282 196 58 28
339 I wasn’t about to tell him the line starts back here. 1.4043 0.03922 282 195 60 27
340 Oh, he read it. And now he's gonna chew her ear off. 1.4043 0.03954 282 196 58 28
341 The scariest thing here isn't the dinosaur, but the absence of face masks. 1.4041 0.03946 292 205 56 31
342 Just...to Steggy 1.4040 0.03838 297 206 62 29
343 Did you read the disclaimer? "Any resemblance to actual dragons, living or dead, is purely coincidental." 1.4040 0.03838 297 206 62 29
344 I told you those things in confidence, Patricia! 1.4040 0.03625 297 199 76 22
345 How did I get to the front of the line? You have to ask? 1.4034 0.04110 238 161 58 19
346 I am sick and tired of people talking about the elephant in the room 1.4028 0.03603 288 191 78 19
347 The Girl With the Dragon at 2. 1.4021 0.03924 291 204 57 30
348 Internal demons? I spend years under your bed and in your closet, and I'm just some "internal demon'"? 1.4021 0.03802 291 200 65 26
349 Please sign it, ‘You rascal, Puff!’ 1.4014 0.03820 289 199 64 26
350 Do you remember me? We dated in 1985, right before I moved to Chernobyl. 1.4008 0.04104 252 174 55 23
351 You agreed not to reveal I can’t wipe myself. 1.4007 0.03788 282 192 67 23
352 It’s not so much your portrayal of me, it’s that it’s sold under fiction. 1.4007 0.03774 287 196 67 24
353 Yes I see now ... it says MEET the author 1.4007 0.03806 287 197 65 25
354 And you call yourself a paleontologist! Do I look like a vegan? 1.3993 0.03811 283 194 65 24
355 I have been in line for ages. 1.3978 0.03780 279 190 67 22
356 You don't remember me, do you? 1.3978 0.03947 279 195 57 27
357 Meet! I thought you said eat! 1.3978 0.03914 279 194 59 26
358 This is what your damn Paleo diet did to me. 1.3978 0.03881 279 193 61 25
359 May I recommend a less hackneyed metaphor for men you wish were extinct? 1.3978 0.03677 279 192 65 22
360 I scared plenty of kids when they were young, but they didn’t write a scathing memoir. 1.3978 0.03814 279 196 57 26
361 Extinct?!” And you call this “nonfiction“? Back in my day, authors had the decency to actually do some research 1.3978 0.03641 279 186 75 18
362 I just devoured your book. 1.3971 0.03833 277 190 64 23
363 I found your portrayal of St. George a little too sympathetic. 1.3957 0.04095 235 160 57 18
364 MEET the author? You're sure that's not a typo? 1.3956 0.03765 273 185 68 20
365 How dare you write that I'm an old fossil. 1.3956 0.03871 273 188 62 23
366 Your book brought me back to life. 1.3948 0.03820 271 185 65 21
367 I hear it's not very prehistorically accurate. 1.3948 0.03855 271 186 63 22
368 I haven’t read such a lousy book in sixty-five million years. 1.3941 0.04015 269 189 54 26
369 Dr. Smythe reflects on the title of her current bestseller"The Inferior Dinosaur Brain"" and hopes she'll live to regret it. 1.3933 0.04172 239 166 52 21
370 I do not have tiny hands. 1.3933 0.04001 267 187 55 25
371 Would you like to reconsider describing me as scaly, horrid and foul of breath? 1.3926 0.03863 270 186 62 22
372 Yes, I have tiny arms... Thank you for sharing that with the world! 1.3918 0.03801 245 163 68 14
373 I’m not the monster you made me out to be. 1.3918 0.03882 268 185 61 22
374 Could you just sign it “For Fred and Wilma”? 1.3918 0.03882 268 185 61 22
375 I didn't like your ending. You won't either. 1.3915 0.04178 235 163 52 20
376 Like I always say: publish or perish. 1.3913 0.04152 230 158 54 18
377 I’ve been waiting 66 million years for this day. 1.3910 0.03920 266 187 55 24
378 I just really love the way you depict human suffering. 1.3908 0.03583 261 189 49 23
379 I can assure you I was the first one here! 1.3908 0.03955 261 181 58 22
380 Fire-breathing dragons may sell, but dinosaurs are the real evolutionary heroes. 1.3908 0.04029 261 183 54 24
381 I feel like I have a book in me. I think the last guy I ate was reading one at the time. 1.3906 0.04068 233 159 57 17
382 So, should I make that out to Puff? 1.3902 0.03904 264 185 56 23
383 Please stop using me as a metaphor for out-of-touch politicians. 1.3902 0.04031 264 186 53 25
384 I loved the way you didn’t make the dinosaurs look one dimensional. 1.3902 0.03810 264 180 65 19
385 How did you know I was a critic from the New Yorker? 1.3902 0.04102 264 188 49 27
386 Representation matters! Not all dragons eat people and hoard things! 1.3902 0.03885 264 182 61 21
387 Asteroid, my ass! 1.3902 0.03885 264 182 61 21
388 I'm supposed to believe that Margaret wasn't based on me? 1.3885 0.04074 260 184 51 25
389 Write a different ending...this time without the asteroid. 1.3885 0.04000 260 182 55 23
390 We are not NOT fire-breathing; NOT inherently dangerous to damsels; NOT trainable; and LOATHE our likeness made into plush baby toys. 1.3885 0.03963 260 181 57 22
391 Please explain how this isn’t defamation of character. 1.3876 0.03984 258 180 56 22
392 Just "To Godzilla". It's a gift. 1.3876 0.04022 258 181 54 23
393 I've been waiting in line for eons! 1.3867 0.03928 256 177 59 20
394 Your novel's a real page turner, and that's not easy with these arms. 1.3867 0.04005 256 179 55 22
395 He'll probably chew her ear off. 1.3861 0.04491 202 141 44 17
396 Look at me! Do I look like I fit under a bed? 1.3861 0.04009 259 182 54 23
397 Do I LOOK like I’m descended from birds? 1.3861 0.04191 259 187 44 28
398 You just HAD to go and dig up the past?!? 1.3861 0.03895 259 179 60 20
399 You just need a mask, not an entire costume. 1.3849 0.04048 252 177 53 22
400 So yeah, your book slayed me, but I’m back. 1.3849 0.03969 252 175 57 20
401 About that chapter on extinctions... 1.3849 0.03807 252 171 65 16
402 No, I am the mother of dragons! 1.3849 0.04126 252 179 49 24
403 Depsite accidentally burning all of your books, I'm really a huge fan. 1.3849 0.04048 252 177 53 22
404 You know, I think she's wrong about being her own worst critic. 1.3843 0.03896 255 176 60 19
405 250 Million years is along time to wait for a Book Signing and be first in line. 1.3843 0.04090 255 181 50 24
406 No, I'm not done yet. Go back and wait in the car. 1.3843 0.03936 255 177 58 20
407 You portrayed me as some sort of monster! 1.3840 0.03868 250 171 62 17
408 "I'd hand you the book to sign, but according to you I have useless hands. 1.3840 0.03950 250 173 58 19
409 I don't have to be a boy dragon or a girl dragon, Ms. Rowling. 1.3837 0.03942 258 180 57 21
410 I told you to wait in the car. 1.3834 0.04074 253 179 51 23
411 You know damn well that's not how it happened! 1.3831 0.03930 248 171 59 18
412 What have I told you about wearing that thing to mommy's signings? 1.3831 0.04093 248 175 51 22
413 How dare you print Mothra's lies. I never touched his wife. Never. 1.3831 0.03930 248 171 59 18
414 You’re aware that you’ve breached your NDA. 1.3831 0.03971 248 172 57 19
415 So, all of a sudden YOU'RE the expert on the Jurassic Period?? 1.3831 0.03930 248 171 59 18
416 I wrote the Peter Paul and Mary song. 1.3831 0.04132 248 176 49 23
417 Can you make it out to your oldest fan. 1.3831 0.04012 248 173 55 20
418 All the times I lit the barbecue, all the times I started the fireplace... and THIS is what you chose to include in your memoir, Sheila? 1.3828 0.03884 256 177 60 19
419 I'm sorry about your so-called toxic childhood, but your father and I are not the monsters you make us out to be. 1.3825 0.03978 251 175 56 20
420 You misspelled my subspecies and my name! 1.3815 0.03958 249 173 57 19
421 I’m sorry but store policy is “No shirt, no shoes, no service.” 1.3810 0.04004 252 177 54 21
422 My hands are normal. Slightly large, actually. 1.3810 0.03925 252 175 58 19
423 Well, in my humble opinion, that Beowulf guy had it coming. 1.3806 0.04102 247 175 50 22
424 Your writing needs to evolve as well. 1.3806 0.04102 247 175 50 22
425 Why don't you sign it, "To living proof my Why the Dinosaurs Disappeared theory is full of shit". 1.3796 0.04205 245 176 45 24
426 You promised me anonymity! 1.3796 0.04043 245 172 53 20
427 I was the victim, Janet! 1.3796 0.04001 245 171 55 19
428 It was a virus that destroyed us, a virus. Not a meteor, a virus! 1.3792 0.03972 240 166 57 17
429 They are not standing 6 feet away from me 1.3789 0.04682 190 135 38 17
430 We need to talk about cultural appropriation 1.3786 0.04107 243 172 50 21
431 Can you please just... slide the books a bit further to the edge of the table? 1.3786 0.03850 243 166 62 15
432 You told me you wouldn't use my real name! 1.3786 0.03761 243 164 66 13
433 I can’t say I like how things ended. 1.3786 0.03980 243 169 56 18
434 So, our relationship was just another conquest to you??? 1.3784 0.04240 222 156 48 18
435 Are you the girl with the dragon tattoo? I've been looking for you for a long time now. 1.3776 0.04045 241 169 53 19
436 Can you please stop referring to us as a synonym for old and outdated! 1.3776 0.04002 241 168 55 18
437 I’ve EATEN better authors than you. 1.3776 0.04253 241 174 43 24
438 That’s ‘Godzilla’ with two L’s 1.3776 0.04088 241 170 51 20
439 I had no idea you were going to portray me as a MONSTER! 1.3774 0.04007 212 143 58 11
440 So I was no more than just a fun little chapter to you, Danielle? 1.3771 0.04060 236 165 53 18
441 Ma'am, I take OFFENSE to your depiction of the giant lizard "monster". It's cheap that you would use the cliche stereotype that one with sharp teeth and spiked tall would be the antagonist that terrorizes the city. BTW, I set your house on fire. 1.3771 0.04192 236 168 47 21
442 I didn’t cut the line. I was here before any of you. 1.3771 0.04060 236 165 53 18
443 Don't look, but your book seems to attract some real weirdos. 1.3771 0.04192 236 168 47 21
444 You think it was my tiny hands that caused my extinction!? Ok, maybe. 1.3771 0.04148 236 167 49 20
445 You didn't know I could read, did you Linda? 1.3771 0.04016 236 164 55 17
446 Long line! Feels like I've been waiting since the Mesozoic. 1.3771 0.04060 236 165 53 18
447 Please dont take this the wrong way, but your book made me really horny. 1.3771 0.04319 236 171 41 24
448 We had an agreement Margaret. 1.3771 0.04105 236 166 51 19
449 I devoured your last book, along with the entire book club. Make this one out to Rex. 1.3766 0.03891 239 164 60 15
450 You know what's really extinct, Barbara? Talent! 1.3766 0.04153 239 170 48 21
451 She really did bring the character to life! 1.3766 0.03304 239 177 44 18
452 Can you make it out to Eustreptospondylus. E-u-s... 1.3766 0.03936 239 165 58 16
453 I’m confused... the reviews said you were a “dinosaur.” 1.3766 0.04195 239 171 46 22
454 Your book was so funny it had me in prehysterics. 1.3755 0.03957 237 164 57 16
455 I just wanted to say thank you for portraying us dragons as we really are.Our whole book club was moved to flames. 1.3734 0.04137 233 165 49 19
456 You're damn right that I have issues with your book on creationism 1.3734 0.04181 233 166 47 20
457 I found your book tasteless. 1.3732 0.04471 209 150 40 19
458 I thought you said the mating stuff was strictly off the record. 1.3729 0.04055 236 166 52 18
459 I'm Oedipus Rex and you should NOT have said that about my mother. 1.3729 0.04143 236 168 48 20
460 Do I write about the Paleozoic Era? Write what you know lady. 1.3729 0.04010 236 165 54 17
461 My, my, I finally get to meet a New York Times book critic." 1.3729 0.04313 236 172 40 24
462 So that's all I was to you? Just some monster for your research? 1.3729 0.03873 236 162 60 14
463 It's me, Craig, from college. I have changed that much? 1.3728 0.04107 228 160 51 17
464 I want the online version and you think I’m the dinosaur” ! 1.3723 0.04250 231 166 44 21
465 Well, we called it plagiarism even back in the Mesozoic Era. 1.3723 0.04161 231 164 48 19
466 I don't have little hands! 1.3723 0.04161 231 164 48 19
467 No one's going to believe that I met you. 1.3723 0.04161 231 164 48 19
468 Do you writers ever give a moment's thought to how hurtful it is that monsters are ALWAYS the bad guy? 1.3723 0.04115 231 163 50 18
469 How about I write a book about slaying you and see how it makes you feel. 1.3723 0.04115 231 163 50 18
470 The Dragon With The Girl Tattoo? Really?? 1.3723 0.04206 231 165 46 20
471 Did you consult with even one dragon first? 1.3723 0.04206 231 165 46 20
472 The dragon who kidnaps the princess in Chapter 7, that's me isn't it? 1.3723 0.04250 231 166 44 21
473 Do you happen to know where they're holding the eat the author event? 1.3723 0.04206 231 165 46 20
474 We had a deal. I would take you on tour with me, and you wouldn’t disclose my reptile dysfunction. 1.3723 0.04115 231 163 50 18
475 You Madame, are NO Michael Crichton! 1.3723 0.04250 231 166 44 21
476 I started as a bookworm a long long time ago.... 1.3717 0.04035 226 157 54 15
477 I made sure I was 1st in line for the greet, meet, and eat! 1.3713 0.04085 237 168 50 19
478 Sorry but ‘Meat, The Author’ is next Tuesday. 1.3712 0.04276 229 165 43 21
479 I would like to take you for lunch. 1.3712 0.04231 229 164 45 20
480 I just love how you satirize mammals 1.3712 0.04093 229 161 51 17
481 As someone who dragon-identifies I’m offended by the book’s human privilege 1.3712 0.04320 229 166 41 22
482 If you won’t stop this defamation of character, you‘ll hear from my lawyer—and he’s an actual carnivore. 1.3700 0.04391 227 166 38 23
483 You write a lousy kiss and tell book. Now I can't go anywhere without people pointing. 1.3700 0.04391 227 166 38 23
484 You think. you're the expert on climate change? 1.3700 0.04163 227 161 48 18
485 Rachel suddenly realized the downside of writing a book that appealed to everyone. 1.3700 0.04163 227 161 48 18
486 Finally my turn! It felt like I was waiting in this line for eons! 1.3700 0.04116 227 160 50 17
487 I have a few bones to pick with you. 1.3700 0.04020 227 158 54 15
488 Your book had a tendency to dragon and on...” 1.3700 0.04346 227 165 40 22
489 The hot-tempered, possessive boyfriend: that’s supposed to be me, right? 1.3700 0.03872 227 155 60 12
490 Um... I accidentally burned my copy. Could I have another? 1.3700 0.04346 227 165 40 22
491 She used his picture without his permission. I think she’s gonna get burned. 1.3697 0.04227 211 148 48 15
492 Oh great! He's going to argue every point in her book. 1.3695 0.04228 203 141 49 13
493 My arms are so short I couldn’t put your book down. 1.3689 0.04188 225 160 47 18
494 Oh, “meet” the author 1.3689 0.04327 225 163 41 21
495 Sharon realizes her book ranking the top Japanese monster films may be contentious. 1.3689 0.03490 225 159 54 12
496 You paleontologists write as if you were there. You weren’t! 1.3689 0.03994 225 156 55 14
497 My publisher wasn’t kidding when she said I brought the characters to life 1.3689 0.04092 225 158 51 16
498 Your book did what an asteroid couldn't—crush my soul 1.3687 0.04246 217 154 46 17
499 He was not a monster! He was my father! 1.3677 0.04115 223 157 50 16
500 I followed your paleo diet for a year, and now look at me! 1.3677 0.04164 223 158 48 17
501 You promised to change my name Karen. 1.3677 0.04115 223 157 50 16
502 Bloodthirsty man-eater? Fine. But I never said any of that stuff about my mother. 1.3677 0.04115 223 157 50 16
503 Could you make it out to Rex The Annihilator? 1.3677 0.04164 223 158 48 17
504 So, tell me again how you think using dragon eggs in your Fiery Frittata recipe isn't problematic? 1.3677 0.04307 223 161 42 20
505 I thought I’d never see another white woman writing from the swamp lizard’s perspective, yet here you are. 1.3677 0.04164 223 158 48 17
506 Your chapter about healthy confrontations really changed my life. 1.3677 0.04164 223 158 48 17
507 Didn’t bookstores go extinct too!? 1.3677 0.04066 223 156 52 15
508 It was at this moment the T-Rex realized he misread the sign. This was Michele Crichton. 1.3677 0.04066 223 156 52 15
509 Cheryl was poised and steadfast. She was ready to defend her research on the size of dinosaur brains using facts and logic. 1.3673 0.04172 226 161 47 18
510 I thoroughly enjoyed your book - both as a read and as an appetizer. 1.3673 0.04125 226 160 49 17
511 Lose the costume, Jerry. 1.3673 0.03930 226 156 57 13
512 This wasn’t the first time Nancy’s ex had ruined one of her meet & greets. 1.3665 0.04139 221 156 49 16
513 You described me as pea brained and having bad breath but forgot to add extremely ferocious and vengeful carnivore. 1.3661 0.04149 224 159 48 17
514 I liked everything but the ending. 1.3656 0.03763 227 154 63 10
515 Finally! I’ve been waiting here 65 million years! 1.3653 0.04164 219 155 48 16
516 No, I can't wait. I'm the last of my kind! 1.3653 0.04456 219 161 36 22
517 The first author I ever met was the guy who wrote the Old Testament. 1.3649 0.04317 222 161 41 20
518 What exactly did you mean by ‘tiny, useless arms’? 1.3644 0.04085 225 159 50 16
519 You misrepresented my story. It was only a small city. 1.3641 0.04239 217 155 45 17
520 As a writer, how does it feel to be headed for extinction? 1.3641 0.04239 217 155 45 17
521 I'd like to talk to you about your chapter denying global warming. 1.3641 0.04339 217 157 41 19
522 'Someone's in the Kitchen with DINO? Seriously!?' 1.3636 0.04247 220 158 44 18
523 Could I possibly have your foot print? 1.3636 0.04148 220 156 48 16
524 I loved the plot but the characters were all so warm-blooded. 1.3636 0.04391 220 161 38 21
525 You know, plot does matter. 1.3636 0.04391 220 161 38 21
526 YES HE HAD MISREAD THE SIGN, BUT AFTER WAITING 2 HOURS, HE DECIDED TO EAT THE AUTHOR ANYWAY. 1.3632 0.04440 223 165 35 23
527 Sign it to ‘Pachycephalosaurus.’ The usual way. Two p’s. 1.3628 0.04056 215 150 52 13
528 I've got a bone to pick. 1.3628 0.04214 215 153 46 16
529 Make it out to Stegosaurus. S-t-e-g-o-s-a-u-r-u-s. 1.3628 0.04162 215 152 48 15
530 It's always about St. George, isn't it. 1.3628 0.04513 215 159 34 22
531 You had no right to out me before I spoke to my family. 1.3628 0.04366 215 156 40 19
532 Make the inscription out to Saint George. 1.3628 0.04316 215 155 42 18
533 It's for my husband. He thinks he's the hero. 1.3628 0.04366 215 156 40 19
534 What don't you get about "off the record?" 1.3628 0.04110 215 151 50 14
535 You won’t be able to put it down. You might not even be able to pick it up. 1.3627 0.04240 193 134 48 11
536 Can you expand a little on chapter six, and like, WHY does she have to be a virgin? 1.3624 0.04466 218 161 35 22
537 How’s this for extinct! 1.3624 0.04122 218 154 49 15
538 Loved the book, though the bit about the meteorite was a tad far-fetched. 1.3615 0.04343 213 154 41 18
539 Your meteor's coming. 1.3615 0.04444 213 156 37 20
540 You could've talked about the good times we had, too. 1.3615 0.04134 213 155 41 17
541 It was 64 million years ago. 1.3615 0.04292 213 153 43 17
542 Well, I was there. 1.3615 0.04134 213 150 49 14
543 You’ll be hearing from my lawyer regarding the chapter about my tiny brain. 1.3615 0.04134 213 150 49 14
544 We had a deal, no names. 1.3615 0.04080 213 149 51 13
545 Sign it: 'To my cousin, Rex, once removed.' 1.3615 0.04240 213 152 45 16
546 My life is not a children's book. 1.3615 0.04187 213 151 47 15
547 Does my mother die in this one too? 1.3611 0.04349 216 157 40 19
548 Am I the author? That depends... 1.3611 0.04299 216 156 42 18
549 Look, you’re tired, I’m tired, just sign. 1.3611 0.04146 216 153 48 15
550 It’s not just Republicans that get offended when they’re described as old dinosaurs 1.3611 0.04447 216 159 36 21
551 We’re sort of both dinosaurs in different ways... 1.3607 0.04157 219 156 47 16
552 Make it out to 'not so extinct.' 1.3602 0.04158 211 149 48 14
553 ...and people reading it are going to think I'm some kind of a monster, Karen! 1.3602 0.04048 211 147 52 12
554 It doesn't feel like you write dragons from within your lived experience. 1.3602 0.04266 211 151 44 16
555 I take great offense to your description of the killer as "cold-blooded". 1.3602 0.04266 211 151 44 16
556 The guy behind you in the MAGA hat says you’re fake 1.3602 0.04212 211 150 46 15
557 I've got to find out what this Dragon Tattoo is all about 1.3602 0.04158 211 149 48 14
558 Well, what do you think Barney is, then? 1.3602 0.04370 211 153 40 18
559 Of course I know how to read—you think I’m prehistoric? 1.3598 0.04064 214 150 51 13
560 After looking forward all morning to eating the author, Rex finally realized his mistake. 1.3594 0.04130 217 154 48 15
561 I meant it figuratively, as in 'you slay me.' 1.3589 0.04450 209 153 37 19
562 You must be thinking of my brother Barney, he's the purple one. 1.3589 0.04450 209 153 37 19
563 It was good but I'm still digesting it. 1.3589 0.04184 209 148 47 14
564 So how would you explain the similarities to my short story written 300 million years ago? 1.3589 0.04345 209 151 41 17
565 Your depiction of the fire-breathing dragon who devoured the novelist resonates with me. 1.3589 0.04345 209 151 41 17
566 I really identified with Ted, the stockbroker. 1.3589 0.04128 209 147 49 13
567 Yes, five, please. You try holding your breath while reading a novel. 1.3585 0.04169 212 158 35 19
568 For just once do you think you could portray my sensitive side? 1.3585 0.04196 212 151 46 15
569 I'd like to point out a couple errors in your 'Theories of Evolution'. 1.3581 0.04049 215 151 51 13
570 The Dragon’s Breath, you really went there? 1.3575 0.04209 207 147 46 14
571 I chew through mysteries pretty fast. 1.3575 0.04153 207 146 48 13
572 I'll show you extinct! 1.3575 0.04479 207 152 36 19
573 ...any genre really, I just need the fiber 1.3575 0.04096 207 145 50 12
574 Dr. Sanderson was suddenly forced to consider that her chapter on extinction might need revisions. 1.3575 0.04264 207 148 44 15
575 I thought writers like you were extinct. 1.3575 0.04426 207 151 38 18
576 This is just my resting face. I’m a BIG fan. 1.3575 0.04319 207 149 42 16
577 Tell me I've got a low brain-to-body-mass ratio to my face, tiger. 1.3575 0.04209 207 147 46 14
578 The plot line about the virtuous politician struck me as pure fantasy. 1.3561 0.04613 205 153 31 21
579 No it's psittacosaurus with a P 1.3561 0.04235 205 146 45 14
580 You can inscribe it "To my oldest fan." 1.3561 0.04291 205 147 43 15
581 Could you hand me a book? My arms are, well, you know, being the expert and all. 1.3561 0.04178 205 145 47 13
582 I CAN’T hand you the book! Just grab one, sign it and hand it back. 1.3561 0.04178 205 145 47 13
583 It seems like I have been waiting in line for ages. 1.3561 0.04178 205 145 47 13
584 You know I thought we were off the record 1.3561 0.04235 205 146 45 14
585 The abrupt ending had quite the impact on me. 1.3561 0.04235 205 146 45 14
586 I don't feel you have the right to appropriate the voice of a "flesh-eating monster" when you haven't lived through the actual struggle of such a marginalized and oppressed life... 1.3561 0.04613 205 153 31 21
587 You slay me. 1.3561 0.04455 205 150 37 18
588 Next time you write about the "reptilian brain", consult with me first. 1.3547 0.04374 203 147 40 16
589 Maybe Puff liked your last book, but I found my portrayal deeply unflattering. 1.3547 0.04484 203 149 36 18
590 I thought it was meat and eat. 1.3547 0.04430 203 148 38 17
591 EAT. MEET. It's all the same to me. 1.3547 0.04318 203 146 42 15
592 First, you betrayed my confidence. Second, you're no beauty. 1.3547 0.04430 203 148 38 17
593 T-Y-R-A-N… actually, if you could just sign it, “to Mr. Rex”… 1.3547 0.04086 203 142 50 11
594 You turned me into a monster. 1.3547 0.04374 203 147 40 16
595 Will you make mine out to Stegosaurus Armatus? It's a family name. 1.3547 0.04261 203 145 44 14
596 YOU tell it to hurry up. 1.3544 0.04218 206 147 45 14
597 Why does everyone have to die? 1.3532 0.04346 201 145 41 15
598 Make it out to Sunshine 1.3532 0.04288 201 144 43 14
599 Mass Extinction wasn’t such a good title now, was it? 1.3532 0.04110 201 141 49 11
600 You will be hearing from my legal team. This is libel, pure and simple, Lynda. You don't know the meaning of "vicious reptilian monsters" until my lawyers get involved! 1.3532 0.04569 201 149 33 19
601 My wife calls me a dinosaur, but I can't stand E-books. 1.3532 0.04346 201 145 41 15
602 Sorry, it's "Meet" not "Eat", but interested in buying a copy anyway? 1.3532 0.04288 201 144 43 14
603 Extinct? You wrote that we are extinct?! 1.3532 0.04288 201 144 43 14
604 Sorry. I thought this was the line to eat the author. 1.3532 0.04403 201 146 39 16
605 You look a lot different in person. 1.3532 0.04346 201 145 41 15
606 Making me wait until exactly two is so cold blooded. 1.3529 0.04356 204 148 40 16
607 You think people don’t know who the “monster” is based on ? 1.3529 0.04356 204 148 40 16
608 Finally! Prehistorical romance as a genre! 1.3529 0.04244 204 146 44 14
609 I was before him in line but I'm not going to be the one to tell him that. 1.3527 0.04088 207 146 49 12
610 Let me just say that reading your book expanded my mind...from a walnut to a chestnut. 1.3527 0.04145 207 147 47 13
611 This could take a while, honey. I get the sense the guy ahead of us is an old flame. 1.3526 0.04471 173 122 41 10
612 Of course I'm cold-blooded, Judith. I'm a reptile. 1.3523 0.04492 176 125 40 11
613 No telling how long he's been waiting. 1.3518 0.04431 199 145 38 16
614 I love that your characters always strive for moral perfection--and also stomp on things. 1.3518 0.04256 199 142 44 13
615 Why, yes, I am a fan of prehistorical fiction. 1.3518 0.04073 199 139 50 10
616 I may be from Loch Ness, but I’m not a monster! 1.3515 0.03368 202 151 39 12
617 Ok. I’m a monster. But don’t The readers deserve to hear my back story? 1.3515 0.04384 202 147 39 16
618 please inscribe one to St George, one to Jackie Paper... 1.3503 0.04402 197 143 39 15
619 Just as it sounds: Malcheetzinortch of Ramthatzubeuthan. 1.3503 0.04343 197 142 41 14
620 Just write “To Godzilla.” (Two L’s.) 1.3503 0.04343 197 142 41 14
621 Does it look like I’m extinct? 1.3503 0.04402 197 143 39 15
622 Trust me, the Mesozoic section is all wrong. 1.3503 0.04402 197 143 39 15
623 I never thought a non-dinosaur could understand how we really feel. 1.3503 0.04461 197 144 37 16
624 By the way... you know nothing about the Paleo diet. 1.3503 0.04461 197 144 37 16
625 Where’s your damn face mask? 1.3500 0.04525 200 148 34 18
626 It's Meet the Author, not Eat the Author Sir 1.3500 0.04355 200 145 40 15
627 You promised you wouldn’t use that weekend in Vegas! 1.3500 0.04355 200 145 40 15
628 Your ‘monster’ is predictably one-dimensional. 1.3500 0.04118 200 141 48 11
629 Yeah, make it out to Barney. Is that a problem? 1.3500 0.04355 200 145 40 15
630 I told you those things in confidence. How could you?! 1.3500 0.04297 200 144 42 14
631 I told you in the interview that I blew the biggest fire, the best fire, but I didn’t want to tell the public because I didn’t want to cause a panic. You’re a terrible writer. And no I didn’t read the book. 1.3500 0.04742 200 152 26 22
632 She spotted the critic and as he approached her table, Agnes offered him a breath mint. 1.3498 0.04195 203 145 45 13
633 We actually got here first, but I’m not going to argue. 1.3487 0.04371 195 141 40 14
634 So I'm extinct, am I? 1.3487 0.04249 195 139 44 12
635 As you can see, I am NOT extinct. 1.3487 0.04491 195 143 36 16
636 You paleontologists think you know it all. Do I look extinct?? 1.3487 0.04401 195 144 35 16
637 Sorry, but it's "Meet" not "Eat" 1.3487 0.04122 195 137 48 10
638 Damn you, homonym! 1.3487 0.04371 195 141 40 14
639 Books becoming extinct? I can help. 1.3487 0.04491 195 143 36 16
640 I’ve waited ages to meet you. 1.3487 0.04491 195 143 36 16
641 I don't like how this book ends. 1.3485 0.04384 198 144 39 15
642 Ohhh you want to see the author...let me go get her. 1.3473 0.04647 167 120 36 11
643 At 1:59, the author attempted to explain the spelling of 'meat.' 1.3472 0.04521 193 142 35 16
644 You thought I was extinct? Well I think hard copy books are extinct! 1.3472 0.04147 193 136 47 10
645 As you can clearly see, we are not extinct. 1.3472 0.04461 193 141 37 15
646 To my dear friend, Puff 1.3472 0.04461 193 141 37 15
647 I’ve been waiting to meet you for ages. 1.3469 0.04168 196 139 46 11
648 How about in the sequel the monster gets the girl? 1.3469 0.04168 196 139 46 11
649 Did you even try to get my side of the story? 1.3455 0.04238 191 136 44 11
650 A Paleo cookbook? I barely made it through Cretaceous... 1.3455 0.04303 191 137 42 12
651 Do you have any idea how long I’ve been waiting in line? 1.3455 0.04552 191 141 34 16
652 Do I look fictional to you? 1.3455 0.04429 191 139 38 14
653 I have a bone to pick with you about your book on creationism” 1.3455 0.04671 191 143 30 18
654 Your take on reptiles left me feeling marginalized. 1.3455 0.04491 191 140 36 15
655 Remember me? I was in your creative writing class -- and you stole my story ! 1.3455 0.04491 191 140 36 15
656 Make it out to Hot Lips. 1.3452 0.04775 168 123 32 13
657 He's afraid if he doesn't support book stores they might go extinct 1.3448 0.04658 174 127 34 13
658 Am I dragon, lizard, or dinosaur? Anyway, screw Trump, right? 1.3439 0.04395 189 137 39 13
659 Creme brûlée is also my signature dessert. 1.3439 0.04331 189 136 41 12
660 All those year lurking under your bed and no mention on the dedications page? 1.3439 0.04459 189 138 37 14
661 Next time you better not refer to me as “Puff”! (Submission instruction: please underline “better not”, above) 1.3439 0.04705 189 142 29 18
662 I used to be the monster under your bed, now I’m a literary critic. 1.3439 0.04459 189 138 37 14
663 Do you realise how long I have waited for you to finish this book? 1.3439 0.04395 189 137 39 13
664 I simply devoured your last book! 1.3438 0.04155 192 136 46 10
665 You promised to give me a pseudonym. 1.3422 0.04359 187 135 40 12
666 It's T-y-r-a-n-n-o-s-a-u-r-u-s. You spelled it wrong seven times." 1.3420 0.04571 193 144 32 17
667 . . . but I’m gonna have to disagree with you on your asteroid theory. 1.3418 0.04469 158 111 40 7
668 Can we discuss an alternate ending? 1.3405 0.04520 185 136 35 14
669 He's upset that she called Trump 'draconian.' 1.3397 0.04855 156 114 31 11
670 Listen, Ms Lydda, I’m sure you research was thorough, but I’m telling you, George was no Saint.” 1.3388 0.04551 183 135 34 14
671 I don't want your autograph, Sylvia, I want my damn royalties. 1.3388 0.04209 183 130 44 9
672 I worked with Shel Silverstein, I knew Shel Silverstein. Shel Silverstein was a friend of mine. Lady, you are no Shel Silverstein. 1.3388 0.04349 183 132 40 11
673 You have been around a long time. I am your oldest fan. 1.3388 0.04279 183 131 42 10
674 I feel like I have been waiting in line for a million years.. 1.3388 0.04026 183 135 37 11
675 All characters in this work are fictitious, any resemblance to anyone living or dead is merely coincidence, huh? 1.3388 0.04209 183 130 44 9
676 If the asteroid didn’t impact the earth 65 million years ago, we might be exchanging places. 1.3388 0.04551 183 135 34 14
677 Some biographer! Now everyone thinks I'm a monster. 1.3388 0.04485 183 134 36 13
678 So why the hell did you call your book “They Aren’t Around Anymore” ? 1.3388 0.04745 183 138 28 17
679 ‘Based loosely on actual people and events’ my ass.. 1.3388 0.04617 183 136 32 15
680 It’s so great to be able to go to a bookstore, isn’t it? I thought they were all extinct. 1.3388 0.04418 183 133 38 12
681 As I read, I felt myself being transported to a different time and place. 1.3377 0.05148 154 116 24 14
682 I just came to let you know your "fair maiden" is not all innocent. 1.3371 0.04282 178 127 42 9
683 Do you know how long I've been waiting? 1.3370 0.04516 181 133 35 13
684 Actually, dinosaurs are in every chapter of the book, because it's about what has held back feminism. 1.3370 0.04378 181 131 39 11
685 Descendant from birds? Are you kidding me? 1.3370 0.04650 181 135 31 15
686 How would you feel if I wrote about your dysfunctional species? 1.3370 0.04516 181 133 35 13
687 Love the book, Dr. Williams. Now, how about some real carbon dating? 1.3370 0.04516 181 133 35 13
688 Remember me? 1.3370 0.04447 181 132 37 12
689 How about you make out the inscription to “child support” because you’re three months late Jennifer. 1.3370 0.04516 181 133 35 13
690 You made no attempt to develop MY character! 1.3370 0.04378 181 131 39 11
691 After eons of defamation of character, Stephen decided it was finally time to set the record straight 1.3370 0.04516 181 133 35 13
692 I am a dinosaur, but I prefer Kindle. 1.3352 0.04458 176 128 37 11
693 Stegosaurus, Schmegosaurus. He still shouldn't be jumping the line. 1.3352 0.04562 182 135 33 14
694 ‘Small-brained?’ You’ll be hearing from my attorney.” 1.3352 0.04757 182 138 27 17
695 Some of us did survive the asteroid hit and if not for our tolerance of you puny humans you wouldn't be sitting here today promoting your false narrative of our extinction. Have a nice day! 1.3351 0.04310 185 134 40 11
696 I read your books voraciously. 1.3333 0.04364 177 128 39 10
697 Last year this would have worried me. 1.3333 0.04509 177 130 35 12
698 So who has a pea brain now ? 1.3333 0.04364 177 128 39 10
699 The daughter of Maurice Sendak hoped some old friends may come to her first book signing. 1.3333 0.04718 177 133 29 15
700 C’mon, it’s 1:57... I’ve been waiting ages. 1.3333 0.04364 177 128 39 10
701 So, you thought it'd be okay to write a memoir and dig up the past? 1.3333 0.04364 177 128 39 10
702 Ma'am, you couldn't possibly know how long I've been waiting to meet you. 1.3333 0.04215 177 126 43 8
703 You be the one to tell him "no cuts allowed" 1.3333 0.04852 177 135 25 17
704 I just want to know if I live through the series! 1.3333 0.04364 177 128 39 10
705 Then why an I still here? 1.3333 0.04580 177 131 33 13
706 I’ll need some help carrying these. 1.3333 0.04509 177 130 35 12
707 I’ll bet she’ll be sorry she wrote that “Dragons Suck” book. 1.3333 0.04415 174 126 38 10
708 I didn't like the ending. 1.3333 0.04437 177 129 37 11
709 I really connected with the cold-blooded killer. 1.3333 0.04785 177 134 27 16
710 Comparing me to your Mother in Law I find very offensive. 1.3333 0.04918 177 136 23 18
711 I was hoping to have a word with Mr. Darwin 1.3315 0.04487 178 131 35 12
712 I’ve been your fan since the Mesozoic era. 1.3315 0.04558 178 132 33 13
713 Your book made me wish the asteroids could have came sooner. 1.3314 0.04612 175 130 32 13
714 What a pity! Now they will have to move her book to the non-fiction section." 1.3314 0.04393 175 127 38 10
715 Your depiction of dragons and our myriad of experiences is, to put it diplomatically, one dimensional and offensive. 1.3314 0.04468 175 128 36 11
716 I can't believe you were just using me to find out more about my culture for your torrid tell-all. 1.3314 0.04889 175 134 24 17
717 Could you inscribe it, 'To Tokyo, from 'Zilla, thanks for the memories.' " 1.3314 0.04821 175 133 26 16
718 So I'm extinct. REALLY? 1.3314 0.04753 175 132 28 15
719 I know things ended badly, but you didn't need to describe me as "an ancient fossil." 1.3314 0.04541 175 129 34 12
720 .....and then the way you portrayed the asteroid..... let’s just say that you weren’t there and it didn’t happen like that. 1.3314 0.04683 175 131 30 14
721 Excuse me, but we're not all fire-breathing, gold-hoarding misogynists. 1.3314 0.04612 175 130 32 13
722 He's been standing in line since God knows when. 1.3314 0.04318 175 126 40 9
723 What do mean you don't have the Japanese Translation? Godzilla is very unhappy ! 1.3314 0.04468 175 128 36 11
724 I kept telling you: The Spinosaurus family set me up. The Theropods had nothing to do with it." --Leo Sacks and Bo Corre, Cold Spring, N 1.3314 0.04989 175 138 17 20
725 Maybe you're a figment of MY imagination! 1.3314 0.04280 175 128 37 10
726 It's spelled just like it sounds! 1.3314 0.04612 175 130 32 13
727 I'm no more imaginary than your so-called autobiography. 1.3314 0.04393 175 127 38 10
728 could you personalize it to'my favorite stegosaurus, Rudy'? 1.3314 0.04318 175 126 40 9
729 O. K., O. K., that asteroid did not get you all. I'm sorry." 1.3314 0.04521 172 126 35 11
730 Lady, paper books are going extinct. Can you sign my kindle? 1.3314 0.04521 172 126 35 11
731 I'm here because I heard that you wrote it on a typewriter. 1.3314 0.04368 172 124 39 9
732 Yes, I'm Thesaurus...and this is copyright infringement. See you in court lady. 1.3314 0.04741 172 129 29 14
733 A review said you're a dinosaur. 1.3309 0.04789 136 97 33 6
734 Call me a dinosaur, but I. Still prefer books over a kindle 1.3307 0.04880 127 90 32 5
735 No, I'm sorry, this isn't a signing for "A Farewell to Arms." 1.3295 0.04729 176 133 28 15
736 Remember me? Your old buddy, 'Puff'? Expect a call from my lawyer. 1.3295 0.04373 176 128 38 10
737 I've been waiting ages to meet you! 1.3295 0.04347 173 125 39 9
738 Do you realize how long I’ve waited in line? 1.3295 0.04573 173 128 33 12
739 I thought they said "Eat" the author. 1.3295 0.04646 173 129 31 13
740 For the last time, you hack: ‘Puff’ is NOT a euphemism for weed. 1.3295 0.04573 173 128 33 12
741 Fantasy? Next time have the decency to call it a memoir. 1.3295 0.04347 173 125 39 9
742 Can you inscribe it to "Dear Stegosaurus , a long time reader." 1.3295 0.04717 173 130 29 14
743 Have you ever considered most of what Saint George claims is hearsay? 1.3295 0.04499 173 127 35 11
744 That’s not the ending we agreed on 1.3295 0.04189 173 123 43 7
745 I think my autograph may be more valuable than yours. 1.3295 0.04423 173 126 37 10
746 I think he’s been in line a while. 1.3295 0.04423 173 126 37 10
747 Could you make it out to Gary? 1.3295 0.04646 173 129 31 13
748 Hi, yes, I am not 'perpetually angry because of my short arms' 1.3295 0.04269 173 124 41 8
749 Your use of the term Kaiju is racially insensitive. 1.3295 0.04423 173 126 37 10
750 The monster in your closet? Is that really how you think of me, Sheila? 1.3275 0.04454 171 125 36 10
751 Take a look, a good look. Do I look like an herbivore? 1.3275 0.04049 171 120 46 5
752 Meet" the author? Oh, dear. I'm so embarrassed 1.3275 0.04753 171 129 28 14
753 Make it quick. I have to go destroy Tokyo after this. 1.3275 0.04753 171 129 28 14
754 You said you wouldn't mention our relationship! 1.3275 0.04454 171 125 36 10
755 Yeah, well, I'm telling you I was too on Noah's Ark. 1.3275 0.04530 171 126 34 11
756 I know that it's you, Uncle Donald. 1.3275 0.04454 171 125 36 10
757 Excuse me! Do I LOOK like a bird to you? 1.3274 0.04586 168 124 33 11
758 I find your overuse of the word dinosaur in the pejorative sense to be a lazy, if not sophomoric attempt at description and, quite frankly, a microaggression against those who came before me." 1.3256 0.04656 172 129 30 13
759 I suppose I'm depicted as the Tokyo-stomping bad guy again? 1.3235 0.04303 170 123 39 8
760 Do I look like a bird? 1.3235 0.04690 170 128 29 13
761 I suppose you also didn’t think we could read! 1.3235 0.04690 170 128 29 13
762 I thought it was ‘Eat the author.’ 1.3235 0.04908 170 131 23 16
763 Not ALL of us kidnap damsels, you know. That's just lazy writing 1.3235 0.04462 170 125 35 10
764 Is this the monster best-seller I've been hearing about?" 1.3235 0.04690 170 128 29 13
765 I just want you to acknowledge that "Dragons of Destruction" perpetuates harmful stereotypes. 1.3235 0.04690 170 128 29 13
766 My species is not extinct as you assert on page 902; we keep a low profile but continue to dictate social policy throughout the world. 1.3235 0.04540 170 126 33 11
767 No eBook yet? Seriously? 1.3235 0.04540 170 126 33 11
768 What did you mean by "monster under the bed?" 1.3235 0.04462 170 125 35 10
769 You look tastier in your author photo 1.3235 0.04540 170 126 33 11
770 ...sorry, I'm a little near-sighted, from the back of the line it looked "like eat the author. 1.3234 0.04673 167 125 30 12
771 You said I'd be the hero. 1.3234 0.04750 167 126 28 13
772 I'd like to speak with your fact-checker. 1.3234 0.04435 167 122 36 9
773 I think you were excessively critical of prehistoric thinking... 1.3234 0.04435 167 122 36 9
774 Your book is hard to digest! 1.3234 0.04353 167 121 38 8
775 The plot was good but I thought you really let the ending dragon 1.3234 0.04516 167 123 34 10
776 That's my picture on the cover and I still can't get a free copy! 1.3234 0.04435 167 122 36 9
777 You know what else got slayed in your book? My children's innocence. 1.3234 0.04595 167 124 32 11
778 ``You better not be the author.'' 1.3234 0.04673 167 125 30 12
779 I welcome you into my lair and all I get is a chapter? 1.3234 0.04750 167 126 28 13
780 This was billed as a meet and greet but looks more like a meet and eat. 1.3234 0.04595 167 124 32 11
781 I would have welcomed a large-type edition. 1.3234 0.04516 167 123 34 10
782 Does it say anything about how to get rid of scaly skin? 1.3234 0.04516 167 123 34 10
783 On page 72, line 13, the correct word is: “whom.” 1.3234 0.04825 167 127 26 14
784 I told you my name was Ruff, the Tragic Dragon! 1.3234 0.04435 167 127 28 12
785 ...if it is not too much trouble, 'to Amber'... 1.3234 0.04899 167 128 24 15
786 Huge Fan; Just devoured it! Can you make it out to Fred? 1.3234 0.04516 167 123 34 10
787 I strongly object to how you stereotype the elderly. 1.3234 0.04787 167 129 23 15
788 sorry, I thought they said "Eat the author at 2:00" 1.3234 0.04972 167 129 22 16
789 May I ask, why did you portray the protagonist as such a monster? 1.3234 0.04673 167 125 30 12
790 I beg to differ with the findings of your research. You dabble dangerously in conspiracy theory. Just because they aren't mentioned in the Bible doesn't mean we aren't real! 1.3234 0.04673 167 125 30 12
791 In my language there is no “m” sound. 1.3234 0.04750 167 126 28 13
792 Your book says my last name is Soros! It’s Saurus! And I weigh five tons, not four! 1.3234 0.04516 167 123 34 10
793 I found your last book hard to digest 1.3234 0.04673 167 125 30 12
794 You know trans people exist and dragons don’t, right JK? 1.3234 0.04673 167 125 30 12
795 Believe it or not, I’m really into fantasy. 1.3216 0.04440 171 126 35 10
796 Fire Breathing huh, defamation suit. 1.3214 0.04572 168 125 32 11
797 And if if you think I'm unhappy with my portrayal in your book, wait 'til you hear from the the Basilisk, the Chimera, and the Kraken! 1.3212 0.04708 165 124 29 12
798 Really? I'm pretty sure the ad said "Eat the author." 1.3212 0.04548 165 122 33 10
799 Excuse me, but you're sitting right in front of " The Dragon Chronicles." 1.3212 0.04629 165 123 31 11
800 You can't imagine how long I've waited for this moment! 1.3212 0.04548 165 122 33 10
801 Was I mistaken? I thought the ad said “eat the author”. 1.3212 0.04629 165 123 31 11
802 Well, now we know who THAT character was based on. 1.3212 0.04383 165 120 37 8
803 No mask, no book - I don’t care how long you’ve waited 1.3212 0.04786 165 125 27 13
804 Your autobiography paints a very monstrous picture of me Susan 1.3212 0.04466 165 121 35 9
805 My name is Cornelius--Puff was a distant cousin. 1.3212 0.04938 165 127 23 15
806 Two words: fake news. 1.3212 0.04786 165 125 27 13
807 You're in my chair. 1.3212 0.04383 165 120 37 8
808 Explain to me why the dragon was holding the princess hostage? I don't know a single dragon who's ever held anyone hostage. 1.3212 0.04548 165 122 33 10
809 I admire how you have evolved as a writer. 1.3212 0.04708 165 124 29 12
810 What, Darwin is contentious to this day? 1.3212 0.04629 165 123 31 11
811 Don’t let him cut in front of you like that! 1.3212 0.04548 165 122 33 10
812 You bought my book, you ate it, you didn't like it, you want your money back? That's a negative. 1.3212 0.04938 165 127 23 15
813 Just sign it with "Make America Jurassic Again." 1.3212 0.04786 165 125 27 13
814 I thought the store allowed comfort animals! 1.3212 0.04548 165 122 33 10
815 You portrayed me as a monster? Well, now I'm back to bite you. 1.3212 0.04786 165 125 27 13
816 Please tell me it ends well. Contrary to popular belief I’m a fan of happy endings. 1.3212 0.04466 165 121 35 9
817 I devour all your books. 1.3212 0.04938 165 127 23 15
818 Are you the one who wrote the book on how we went extinct? 1.3212 0.04708 165 124 29 12
819 Ok so actually, I have a skin condition called eczema, not a “hideous, pocked, scarred, and scaly hide” as you’ve written on page 243. 1.3212 0.04708 165 124 29 12
820 If you're going to write a dinosaur cookbook I'd expect you to know some of us are vegetarians 1.3212 0.04548 165 127 25 13
821 Why did you portray pterodactyls in such a good light? 1.3212 0.04383 165 120 37 8
822 Fire-breathing is just a stereotype perpetuated by the anti-dragon extremists. 1.3190 0.04822 163 124 26 13
823 My point is that I've been mis-represented in your book. I'm pretty certain I know the meaning of "extinct". 1.3190 0.04497 163 120 34 9
824 I heard that some lady was cranking out dinosaur romance novels. 1.3190 0.04663 163 122 30 11
825 Hmmm, I thought I knew everyone on the endangered species list. 1.3190 0.04663 163 122 30 11
826 I think you may want to edit the chapter about the asteroid. 1.3190 0.04369 163 121 33 9
827 Well well, Dr. Smith, we meet again! Apparently, you’re not the only one familiar with time travel. Prepare to rewrite your ending! 1.3190 0.04497 163 120 34 9
828 Honey, I'd know that beast anywhere...same one who butted in line to see Jurassic Park. 1.3190 0.04581 163 121 32 10
829 Oh. I didn’t see the M... 1.3190 0.04743 163 123 28 12
830 Six feet back if you don't mind 1.3190 0.04663 163 122 30 11
831 It’s just that your words hurt, Lillian. I’m a real monster too. With friends and family. Who can read your words. 1.3190 0.04743 163 123 28 12
832 So, we are "extinct"? Would you like to reconsider your conclusion? 1.3190 0.04743 163 123 28 12
833 TO: Puff The Magic Dragon, please 1.3190 0.04900 163 125 24 14
834 I demand an answer: why did you say I was afraid of T-Rex? 1.3190 0.04581 163 126 24 13
835 It's spelled R-E-X, not W-R-E-C-K-S! 1.3190 0.05053 163 127 20 16
836 It's just that we're far more nuanced than you give us credit for. 1.3190 0.04497 163 120 34 9
837 Fantasy fiction? Really Barbara? 1.3190 0.04663 163 122 30 11
838 I’m literally your biggest fan. 1.3190 0.04581 163 121 32 10
839 And I don't appreciate you exposing the intimate details of our affair just to get on Amazon's Best Seller list, Darlene. 1.3190 0.04622 163 124 27 12
840 Quite frankly, I found your book rather implausible. 1.3190 0.04743 163 123 28 12
841 She thought he would be extinct by the time it came out. 1.3190 0.04663 163 122 30 11
842 It's 6.30 pm, dammit. I thought I'd go extinct waiting. 1.3190 0.04237 163 122 32 9
843 And another thing. Not all of us work as tower guards. I’m a dentist and my wife is a firefighter. 1.3190 0.04743 163 123 28 12
844 Author and critic eyed each other wordlessly. 1.3190 0.04900 163 125 24 14
845 I'M mythical? Have you checked out D.C lately? 1.3190 0.04663 163 122 30 11
846 Oh, my bad. I didn’t see the first ‘’m’.” 1.3190 0.04900 163 125 24 14
847 I've been waiting an eternity! 1.3190 0.04581 163 121 32 10
848 Oh, I’m so embarrassed. I was certain that it said “eat the author.” 1.3190 0.04663 163 122 30 11
849 As you can see, I am very much not extinct and continue to evolve! 1.3188 0.04805 160 121 27 12
850 I did not threaten that princess. 1.3188 0.04466 160 117 35 8
851 Puff, you say? No, Jackie never mentioned you. 1.3188 0.04886 160 122 25 13
852 Tolkien’s great granddaughter always knew this day would come. 1.3188 0.04466 160 117 35 8
853 Make it out to Spike. 1.3188 0.04723 160 120 29 11
854 You made me. Now you have to own me. 1.3188 0.04723 160 120 29 11
855 I will have you know that the Mesozoic Era was FULL of avid readers 1.3188 0.04805 160 121 27 12
856 It feels like I've been waiting 65 million years. 1.3188 0.04639 160 119 31 10
857 Is it safe to assume that any resemblance to actual dragons, real or imagined, is also pure coincidence, Rebecca? 1.3188 0.04639 160 119 31 10
858 We should warn you, he's always been a voracious reader. 1.3188 0.04723 160 120 29 11
859 Stop writing about Puff The Magic Dragon, already! 1.3188 0.04886 160 122 25 13
860 Any advice for a writer whose hands don't reach the keyboard? 1.3188 0.04723 160 120 29 11
861 On the off chance you're wondering, I'm a metaphor for the political system. A bit on the nose, but let's face it, we didn't get into this mess because people are smart. 1.3188 0.04886 160 122 25 13
862 I hope you enjoyed that frolic in the Autumn mist, because it was your last. 1.3188 0.04805 160 121 27 12
863 Lookin' for Eat the Author, is this the Eat the Author event? 1.3186 0.05518 113 84 22 7
864 He even LOOKS like a critic. 1.3171 0.04797 164 125 26 13
865 I don't care what you are - if you want my signature, buy my book. 1.3168 0.04779 161 122 27 12
866 I like the part, when the children think there is something under their bed 1.3168 0.04354 161 117 37 7
867 I don’t have a book to sign. Mine caught on fire. 1.3168 0.04860 161 123 25 13
868 I'm a herbivore, yes, but not when my name gets misspelled. 1.3165 0.04407 158 115 36 7
869 The author, having assumed that dinosaurs couldn't read, now thoroughly regrets referring to them as clumsy, dimwitted creatures in her recent book. 1.3165 0.04407 158 115 36 7
870 And meet your maligned subject matter. 1.3165 0.04498 158 116 34 8
871 Well, I heard it was an "eat the author." 1.3165 0.04673 158 118 30 10
872 Dear, I already told you. John is not based on you. 1.3165 0.04716 158 121 25 12
873 Meet the “figment of your imagination” 1.3165 0.05086 158 123 20 15
874 So where is this supposed expert on prehistory? 1.3165 0.04586 158 117 32 9
875 Can you make it out to "Dragothor, bringer of end times?" Or just "Jonathan." 1.3165 0.04843 158 120 26 12
876 where's the thesaurus 1.3165 0.04843 158 120 26 12
877 Please sign it, "To Thesaurus." 1.3165 0.04498 158 121 26 11
878 Your story inspired me to overcome extinction. 1.3165 0.04843 158 120 26 12
879 Fake science, you wrote. Never existed, you wrote. Well, tell that to my mother. 1.3165 0.04586 158 117 32 9
880 Thanks for ruining my life! Most parents would tell their kid they are adopted BEFORE the memoir, Mom! 1.3165 0.05007 158 122 22 14
881 I burned through your last book in one sitting. 1.3165 0.04843 158 120 26 12
882 They told me you used a Thesaurus - can you hook me up? 1.3148 0.04242 162 117 39 6
883 I am highly offended at your demeaning comments about Trump's small hands! 1.3148 0.04834 162 124 25 13
884 The emotionally unavailable dragon is such a cruel stereotype. 1.3148 0.04242 162 117 39 6
885 A Hoax. I did not destroy Tokyo! 1.3148 0.04913 162 125 23 14
886 But I can assure you ... climate change is real! 1.3148 0.04590 162 121 31 10
887 Your book really helped me find the fire inside of myself. 1.3147 0.04699 143 105 31 7
888 Just sign the book and forget the chit chat. I've shed twice since I got in line! 1.3137 0.04587 153 113 32 8
889 Dragon?! Scales?! Spikes?! So much for, “Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.” 1.3121 0.04937 157 121 23 13
890 Okay then, tell me your ending for the Cretaceous era. 1.3121 0.04937 157 121 23 13
891 I found your depiction of the Tyrannosaurus to be flat and stereotypical. 1.3121 0.04683 157 118 29 10
892 Why did you write about me? We're not all monsters, you know. 1.3121 0.04769 157 119 27 11
893 The book was a little before its time. 1.3121 0.04854 157 120 25 12
894 I want to talk to you about your book saying my breath was bad. 1.3121 0.04683 157 118 29 10
895 That is S-A-U-R-U-S! NO! No relation to George. YES. I do need you to reinscribe it. 1.3121 0.04769 157 119 27 11
896 Who are you calling a fossil lady? You’re no spring chicken yourself! 1.3121 0.04854 157 120 25 12
897 I've been waiting literally ages to meet you. 1.3121 0.04854 157 120 25 12
898 Ha ha, yes, my arms can reach the pages. Now, will you just sign it? 1.3121 0.04320 157 114 37 6
899 It wasn't an asteroid! 1.3117 0.04654 154 115 30 9
900 I thought that independent bookstores are all extinct" 1.3117 0.05090 154 120 20 14
901 I don't care if you did your research: an Allosaurus never would have left her mate for a herbivore. 1.3117 0.04745 154 116 28 10
902 Forgive me, Helen, but this is the only way I could get to see you again. 1.3117 0.04654 154 115 30 9
903 If you think I'm scary, the couple behind me took your creative writing class. 1.3117 0.04562 154 114 32 8
904 Yeah, you changed the character into a pterodactyl, but everyone will still recognize it’s me. 1.3117 0.04654 154 115 30 9
905 We're going to change the ending right now. 1.3117 0.04833 154 117 26 11
906 Biography my ass. 1.3117 0.04654 154 115 30 9
907 Despite the disclaimer on the inside flap, Martha was well aware that certain characters in her book may have had a resemblance to actual creatures, living or dead, and that references to actual events had not been purely coincidental. 1.3117 0.04654 154 115 30 9
908 You could have at least changed my name. 1.3117 0.04562 154 114 32 8
909 Roget, schmoget. I’m a Thesaurus! 1.3117 0.04608 154 117 27 10
910 I found your description of white male Senators as a pack of dinosaurs to be personally quite offensive. 1.3117 0.04745 154 116 28 10
911 I didn't drag my tail here for a damn autograph. Personalize it or I'll eat you. 1.3117 0.04833 154 117 26 11
912 Your description of the novel as "fantasy" makes me feel invisible. 1.3117 0.04920 154 118 24 12
913 I'm sorry, I just don't see "The Dragon with the Girl Tattoo" selling that well. 1.3117 0.05006 154 119 22 13
914 When I told you I downplayed the asteroid coming in, I didn't mean for you to put it in your book! 1.3117 0.04920 154 118 24 12
915 Your book on Comets scared my kid. 1.3117 0.04562 154 114 32 8
916 Just put "Steg," for short. 1.3117 0.04833 154 117 26 11
917 Hm. . . seems the book really resonated with an older audience 1.3117 0.04745 154 116 28 10
918 Not so big in Japan now are you? 1.3117 0.04372 154 112 36 6
919 What do you mean Gawain was a “nice guy”? 1.3097 0.04537 155 115 32 8
920 I thought the nude scene was quite tasteful. 1.3097 0.04628 155 116 30 9
921 I've met George R.R. Martin. And you're no George R.R. Martin... 1.3092 0.04871 152 116 25 11
922 This is the only PPE I could find. 1.3092 0.05047 152 118 21 13
923 Do you validate Jurassic Parking? 1.3092 0.04871 152 116 25 11
924 Why am I always the villain? 1.3092 0.04595 152 113 31 8
925 Trump drained the swamp so I could meet the author who wrote another scandalous book about him. 1.3092 0.04689 152 114 29 9
926 I guess I don't understand why you would title the book Thesaurus and it doesn't have anything to do with our species... Talk about cultural appropriation... 1.3092 0.04960 152 117 23 12
927 Ah come on, it is 1:48. 1.3092 0.04499 152 117 25 10
928 I love your cookbook. The section on flame broiling was the best! 1.3092 0.04960 152 117 23 12
929 Is it time yet? I’ve been waiting millions of years for this signing 1.3092 0.05047 152 118 21 13
930 You have no idea how long I have been waiting for you to finish this book!" 1.3092 0.04499 152 112 33 7
931 I’ll show you the real dragon balls. 1.3092 0.04499 152 112 33 7
932 Yes, you got it all wrong! The Princess and I eventually married. 1.3087 0.04656 149 111 30 8
933 Would you take a look at my manuscript? 1.3087 0.04557 149 110 32 7
934 OH! MEET THE AUTHOR! Sorry, my bad. 1.3067 0.05177 150 118 18 14
935 About your theory on extinction... 1.3067 0.04629 150 112 30 8
936 Fantasy isn't usually my thing. 1.3067 0.04432 150 110 34 6
937 Everyone keeps saying, "You're Larry, aren't you?'" 1.3067 0.04911 150 115 24 11
938 Of course I take issue with the comparison. For one thing I have much larger hands. 1.3067 0.04819 150 114 26 10
939 I devoured the book and now I want to eat, I mean meet the author. 1.3067 0.04629 150 112 30 8
940 You made me out to be a monster. So, thank you. 1.3067 0.05177 150 118 18 14
941 I have an issue, on page 346, where I am referred to as a crustacean. 1.3067 0.04911 150 115 24 11
942 Tell me again about my ‘walnut-sized brain’ and ‘lumbering gait.’ In fact, read that part out loud. Page 143. 1.3067 0.04725 150 113 28 9
943 I would ask you to sign my book, but it was so good that I devoured it. 1.3067 0.04819 150 114 26 10
944 Why am I always the bad guy? 1.3067 0.04725 150 113 28 9
945 Her beautiful writing makes her characters come to life. 1.3067 0.04819 150 114 26 10
946 I found the lack of character development very disappointing. 1.3067 0.04819 150 114 26 10
947 The whole burning of the village chapter, I feel that you really get me". 1.3067 0.04725 150 113 28 9
948 Can you please make it fast? This lady is on my tail. 1.3061 0.04590 147 109 31 7
949 I thought this was the line for "Rage." 1.3056 0.05497 108 81 21 6
950 Just make it out to Barney 1.3048 0.05918 105 81 16 8
951 Oh, ok that says,‘Meet’. I’m sorry, I thought this was something else... 1.3046 0.04603 151 113 30 8
952 I know it’s a bad time, but I’m your next big idea. 1.3046 0.04698 151 114 28 9
953 It’s not that you made me a monster, it’s that you made me banal! 1.3041 0.04664 148 111 29 8
954 That ending really hit me hard. 1.3041 0.04857 148 113 25 10
955 The blurb said monster bestseller so... what's your best offer? 1.3041 0.04857 148 113 25 10
956 Could you make it out to Rex? 1.3041 0.05042 148 115 21 12
957 I'm getting a little tired of rescuing you every time you write yourself into a corner. 1.3041 0.04950 148 114 23 11
958 I've been waiting for eons! 1.3041 0.04564 148 110 31 7
959 "The deal was, you do the ghostwriting and I do the book signing." 1.3041 0.04857 148 113 25 10
960 Would it kill you to let the dragon eat the knight once? 1.3041 0.04761 148 112 27 9
961 Just as the end of print culture was greatly exaggerated so to was the mass extinction of my species. 1.3041 0.05042 148 115 21 12
962 Your books are easy to digest. 1.3041 0.04462 148 109 33 6
963 I don't care if you wrote the book: I AM Godzilla!... 1.3041 0.05042 148 115 21 12
964 You made me sound like a monster" 1.3041 0.05133 148 116 19 13
965 An awkward silence fell as Godzilla contemplated his potential copyright infringement claim. 1.3041 0.04664 148 111 29 8
966 Yes I really want to buy a book. I'm surrounded by neanderthals who stare at tablets all day long and think I'm the stupid one. 1.3041 0.05042 148 115 21 12
967 Can you hold the phone for our selfie? 1.3041 0.04761 148 112 27 9
968 Yeah, I'm the book reviewer and, lady, you're no author! 1.3041 0.04410 148 111 30 7
969 I heard books are going the way of the dinosaurs, so I'd like to take one to them. 1.3041 0.04950 148 114 23 11
970 Do you think I’m waiting till 2:00p.m.? 1.3041 0.05563 148 121 9 18
971 Wow. Now that we are post-pandemic we are seeing more and more unanticipated side affects of COVID-19. 1.3041 0.04950 148 114 23 11
972 Oh! It's about a different dragon who proposed to you in Paris three years ago. 1.3041 0.04664 148 111 29 8
973 You should have seen the line for her last book claiming Neanderthals were extinct. 1.3041 0.04761 148 112 27 9
974 I’d eat you alive, but that would only serve to reinforce the unfortunate stereotypes in your books. 1.3041 0.04664 148 111 29 8
975 Take it from me, book readings will be extinct, too. 1.3041 0.04761 148 112 27 9
976 You're the first writer who really understands our heroic nature. 1.3041 0.04664 148 111 29 8
977 I 've been asked by the New Yorker to review your book. 1.3041 0.05042 148 115 21 12
978 I’ve told you a million times, the ghostwriter is not supposed to show up at this event. 1.3041 0.04950 148 114 23 11
979 I’m asking you to wear a mask to protect me. 1.3041 0.04950 148 114 23 11
980 Don't you remember? We met at Loch Ness last summer. 1.3041 0.04358 148 108 35 5
981 How did you overcome being labeled a dinosaur in your field? 1.3041 0.04564 148 110 31 7
982 Michael Crichton was last week. 1.3041 0.04857 148 113 25 10
983 Calling it fiction does not excuse you. 1.3041 0.04664 148 111 29 8
984 I'm @realdragon17. I tweeted you about your portrayal of Grendel... 1.3041 0.04462 148 109 33 6
985 In spite of your insulting references to government, I'd like three copies for colleagues in the Senate 1.3041 0.04857 148 113 25 10
986 What real dragons did you consult before writing your book? 1.3041 0.04857 148 113 25 10
987 Chapter 4, paragraph 5: we are not ALL small-brained. 1.3041 0.04564 148 110 31 7
988 Who told you dinosaurs can't read? 1.3041 0.04564 148 110 31 7
989 I thought we discussed that I'd have longer arms in the book! 1.3041 0.04564 148 110 31 7
990 We had beautiful feathers. Not this disgusting green lizard skin! 1.3041 0.04358 148 108 35 5
991 Can you sign it for 'hideous reptilian monster', please? 1.3041 0.03203 148 116 26 6
992 It was climate change, not a meteorite, ma’am. 1.3041 0.04564 148 110 31 7
993 Tell me how I’m standing here right now if the last of my kind was slain. 1.3041 0.04950 148 114 23 11
994 The title of your book, “Trump Is A Big Lizard” is an huge insult to all of us! 1.3020 0.05013 149 116 21 12
995 Oh, this "Godzilla" just destroyed the city for no reason? That's not the way I remember it, Cheryl. 1.3020 0.04637 149 112 29 8
996 I have a few questions about the chapter on extinction. 1.3014 0.04798 146 111 26 9
997 I can’t believe you wrote that I had dragon breath. 1.3014 0.04798 146 111 26 9
998 I think everyone knows who "Kyle" is supposed to be, Phyllis. 1.3014 0.04597 146 109 30 7
999 I'd really like to talk about the "Stinky, slimy, and stupid" lizard. 1.3014 0.04896 146 112 24 10
1000 Perhaps you should just stick with what you 'know' from now on. 1.3014 0.04896 146 112 24 10
1001 They'll never guess it was you. Completely different name and scale color, okay. 1.3014 0.04798 146 111 26 9
1002 Lady, I didn't 'destroy' Tokyo. I merely oversaw some dramatic revisions. 1.3014 0.04051 146 104 40 2
1003 I loved your book, except for that part about the asteroid. 1.3014 0.04699 146 110 28 8
1004 You can growl and fume and stamp your feet, but it’s not going to make 2pm come any faster. 1.3014 0.04991 146 113 22 11
1005 Just sign it 'to an old fan' 1.3014 0.04798 146 111 26 9
1006 I’m the bad guy?!? I am not the one who came into my cave with a sword looking to slay something! 1.3014 0.04991 146 113 22 11
1007 This is a "Meet and Greet", not an "Eat and Greet"! 1.3014 0.04798 146 111 26 9
1008 Could you also sign one for my friend, Little Jackie Paper? 1.3014 0.04699 146 110 28 8
1009 Carol, I lavished you with tales of a strange, medieval world and its obsession with power and lust in total confidence. 1.3014 0.04798 146 111 26 9
1010 I hate it when everybody else shows up in costumes. 1.3014 0.04597 146 109 30 7
1011 OH Oh. heard it was a chance to " Eat the Author" 1.3014 0.05085 146 114 20 12
1012 I was really expecting you to be much older. 1.3014 0.04991 146 113 22 11
1013 You promised me that what we had would be kept private 1.3014 0.04597 146 109 30 7
1014 What’s St. George to you? 1.3014 0.04991 146 113 22 11
1015 Will it be coming out in a large text edition? 1.3014 0.04699 146 110 28 8
1016 Thank you, but life on earth ending with a meteor-strike isn't a very plausible plot now is it ? 1.3014 0.04798 146 111 26 9
1017 Puff's an outdated term, you know... 1.3014 0.04699 146 110 28 8
1018 I wanted to be first in line but he got here long before I did. 1.3014 0.04699 146 110 28 8
1019 Fuck you and fuck your book. 1.3014 0.04991 146 113 22 11
1020 All my friends are dead 1.3014 0.04597 146 109 30 7
1021 Don’t you think ‘At Arms Length’ is a bit of an ableist title? 1.3014 0.04798 146 111 26 9
1022 I feel your work lacks historical perspective. 1.3014 0.04896 146 112 24 10
1023 Yeah, pretty good thanks. Yourself? 1.3007 0.04865 143 109 25 9
1024 Meet? 1.3007 0.04966 143 110 23 10
1025 What I would really like to see is a book about dragons that I can show to my children. 1.3007 0.04605 143 109 26 8
1026 This is taking FOREVER! 1.3007 0.05064 143 111 21 11
1027 Big fan. I've gobbled up every one of your books. 1.3007 0.05064 143 111 21 11
1028 I'll have you know that despite your title I did not find gene splicing at home to be fun OR simple. 1.3007 0.05439 143 115 13 15
1029 I'm your most gargantuan fan 1.3007 0.04865 143 109 25 9
1030 I loved your plot. It really took me back to a bygone era. 1.3007 0.04659 143 107 29 7
1031 I didn’t like it. 1.3007 0.04966 143 110 23 10
1032 My metatarsals are killing me. 1.3000 0.04800 150 115 25 10
1033 Plagiarism! You aren't the Lizard of Oz. I am. 1.2993 0.04671 147 111 28 8
1034 These events usually do attract an older crowd... 1.2986 0.04525 144 107 31 6
1035 I'm worried he'll eat her before we can get her to sign our books. 1.2986 0.04836 144 110 25 9
1036 Sorry to crash your little party. Did you think you could just ghost me after three dates and I'd just..go extinct? 1.2986 0.04836 144 110 25 9
1037 What do you mean, seniority does not put me in the front of the line? 1.2986 0.04735 144 109 27 8
1038 You think you're really something don't you! Well I wrote The Art of the Deal! 1.2986 0.05128 144 113 19 12
1039 I’ve been waiting eons to meet you! 1.2986 0.04735 144 109 27 8
1040 She's his niece. 1.2986 0.04735 144 109 27 8
1041 I tend to be drawn to late Cretaceous period pieces, but this really spoke to me. 1.2986 0.04735 144 109 27 8
1042 Swamp Thing was sick and tired of being compared to career politicians. 1.2986 0.04935 144 111 23 10
1043 It's not plagerism if was written 65 million years ago 1.2986 0.05033 144 112 21 11
1044 I've waited a billion years for someone to write the truth. 1.2986 0.04735 144 109 27 8
1045 I particularly enjoyed your chapter on herbivore snacks 1.2986 0.04735 144 109 27 8
1046 Does the term 'cultural appropriation' ring any bells, Ms. Sheldrake? 1.2986 0.04935 144 111 23 10
1047 I'm vegetarian too. Your salad recipes are to die for! 1.2986 0.04735 144 109 27 8
1048 I was told there would be a Thesaurus. 1.2986 0.05033 144 112 21 11
1049 I'm here for the book singeing. 1.2986 0.04836 144 110 25 9
1050 For the first time in 27 years, Barbara considered retiring her nom de plume of Dina Shore. 1.2986 0.04735 144 109 27 8
1051 He likes a good book he can sink his teeth into. 1.2979 0.05107 141 110 20 11
1052 Meet! Meet! Not eat! 1.2979 0.05007 141 109 22 10
1053 I know this awkward,...... but it's about my cut of the royalty checks. 1.2979 0.04800 141 107 26 8
1054 I object to your referring to of all of us who gave their lives in the great extinction as "losers." 1.2979 0.05107 141 110 20 11
1055 I think you'll find not so extinct. 1.2979 0.05007 141 109 22 10
1056 Just make them out to 'Your Old Flame'. 1.2979 0.04905 141 108 24 9
1057 In the sequel, can I, I mean, he, will he get a girlfriend? 1.2979 0.04905 141 108 24 9
1058 I’d love to pay you but I can’t reach my wallet. 1.2979 0.04800 141 107 26 8
1059 Your reference to Trump as a dinosaur is most disingenuous. 1.2979 0.05007 141 109 22 10
1060 I must say, you look a lot younger than you did in high school... 1.2979 0.04694 141 106 28 7
1061 I object to your stereotypes. 1.2979 0.04585 141 105 30 6
1062 Three months into the Covid vaccine trials, patient #521 surfaces at Dr. Nancy Kimble's (infectious disease specialist) book signing to report a side effect. 1.2979 0.05107 141 110 20 11
1063 You said that you would not quote me! 1.2979 0.04585 141 105 30 6
1064 I read the reviews, Sheila. Do you really think people are going to believe I was that kind of monster?! 1.2979 0.05007 141 109 22 10
1065 He said she made him out to be a monster. 1.2979 0.05107 141 110 20 11
1066 Why did you describe me so ugly? 1.2979 0.04694 141 106 28 7
1067 Sorry, I thought the promo said 'eat the author'. 1.2979 0.05107 141 110 20 11
1068 Your book is just more primate-centric propaganda.” 1.2979 0.04800 141 107 26 8
1069 I'm a Capricorn, too. 1.2979 0.05007 141 109 22 10
1070 I'll take them all, including the author 1.2979 0.04240 141 102 36 3
1071 Contrary to what you wrote in chapter seven, I was in the room and the President said angry demon lizards pose NO danger. 1.2979 0.04905 141 108 24 9
1072 I am the author! Who else could have written A Personal Story of the Dinosaur Apocalypse? 1.2979 0.05107 141 110 20 11
1073 This is a gift for a friend. Please sign it: "For Godzilla..." 1.2979 0.05007 141 109 22 10
1074 Well, a lot of people thought the publishing industry was extinct too! 1.2979 0.04800 141 107 26 8
1075 You write about asteroids as though you weren’t even there. 1.2979 0.05007 141 109 22 10
1076 If I didn't think it would just encourage your shameful stereotyping, I would breathe fire on you. 1.2979 0.04694 141 106 28 7
1077 Why do you keep writing that I’m extinct? 1.2979 0.04585 141 105 30 6
1078 No need to sign it, I'll just eat it here. 1.2979 0.05007 141 109 22 10
1079 Why is the dragon always the bad guy? 1.2979 0.04800 141 107 26 8
1080 We'll see who dies out first. 1.2979 0.04905 141 108 24 9
1081 I am the Risen Dragon of Punctuation. Let us speak of apostrophes. 1.2979 0.05007 141 109 22 10
1082 I specifically asked you to NOT include the time I was defeated by the White Knight in Elwynshire. That was a very difficult time for me then, and no less difficult for me now to have to relive it! 1.2979 0.05107 141 110 20 11
1083 What do you mean I can't eat you? The ad said "Meat, the author, 2P.M." 1.2979 0.05397 141 113 14 14
1084 None of the other characters believed me when I said you are a real person! 1.2979 0.05107 141 110 20 11
1085 Can’t wait to read about how things ended for you guys. 1.2979 0.04905 141 108 24 9
1086 I don’t know what they teach you in archeology school but let me be the first to tell you that’s not how it went down 1.2979 0.05107 141 110 20 11
1087 God damn it, just tell me what happens after Ty sees the meteors in the sky! The curiosity is killing me. 1.2979 0.04800 141 107 26 8
1088 Let me see the kids, Francine! 1.2979 0.04694 141 106 28 7
1089 She picks the werewolf??? 1.2979 0.04694 141 106 28 7
1090 I think your portray of us in Jurassic Park is sexist and mischaracterized. 1.2979 0.04905 141 108 24 9
1091 He's playing the age card. 1.2977 0.05048 131 100 23 8
1092 About that bird-brain comment... 1.2966 0.04706 145 110 27 8
1093 So we meet again, Alice. 1.2960 0.04823 125 93 27 5
1094 I did wait in line, just like every other person here! 1.2958 0.04976 142 110 22 10
1095 But whenever I read, I breath fire. Do you have an audio version you can autograph? 1.2958 0.05075 142 111 20 11
1096 You swore our affair would be confidential ! 1.2950 0.04945 139 107 23 9
1097 I've got some bones to pick with you. 1.2950 0.04729 139 105 27 7
1098 We agreed you could write about us, but the tweets have to stop. 1.2950 0.04729 139 105 27 7
1099 I didn't enjoy your book, "Being a Dinosaur is Bad". While I agree because my arms are tiny and useless, my criticisms are with your turgid prose and long-winded anecdotes about gardening that didn't tie into the overall narrative *at all* 1.2950 0.05350 139 111 15 13
1100 How dare you describe me as cold-blooded? Meet me on rhe sun deck and I'll show your cloaca the best time it's ever had. 1.2950 0.04945 139 107 23 9
1101 By golly, your style is just so Neo-Jurassic!" 1.2950 0.04892 139 109 20 10
1102 Reading your book was a Kafkaesque experience. Will you inscribe it, 'To the new and improved Laura Ingraham?" 1.2950 0.05350 139 111 15 13
1103 Let me introduce myself. I am the author of “The Thesaurus”. 1.2950 0.05152 139 109 19 11
1104 It's about time, I've been waiting for 80 million years! 1.2950 0.04504 139 103 31 5
1105 What do you know about paleo diets! 1.2950 0.05152 139 109 19 11
1106 I don't mean to criticize your work but you are too much of an alarmist. Asteroids? Give me a break. 1.2950 0.04729 139 105 27 7
1107 As J.K. Rowling continues her controversial statements, some alienated fans have decided to confront her directly. 1.2950 0.04838 139 106 25 8
1108 Fake news! There was no comet. 1.2950 0.04729 139 105 27 7
1109 That’s why I love indie book store signings — still feels a bit dangerous. 1.2950 0.04729 139 105 27 7
1110 Frankly speaking, your literary devices are more out of date than I am. 1.2950 0.04618 139 104 29 6
1111 The first is for my son, Lexovisaurus durobrivensis, next for my daughter Yingshanosaurus jichuanensis, and for my gender fluid offspring Hesperosaurus mjosi- I say! Are you writing this all down? 1.2941 0.04563 136 101 30 5
1112 How could you kill off Louise?!! You're a monster. 1.2929 0.04914 140 108 23 9
1113 He thought it was a Maurice Sendak signing. 1.2929 0.04700 140 106 27 7
1114 Really? One asteroid? In the Yucatán? I don’t even live in the Yucatán! 1.2929 0.04808 140 107 25 8
1115 He wants to correct some mistakes you made in 'The Day the Comet Came" 1.2929 0.03511 140 109 26 5
1116 I loved your book! May I eat these too? 1.2929 0.05218 140 111 17 12
1117 I've waited on line for two hours, do you think I'm a herbivore? 1.2929 0.05018 140 109 21 10
1118 So I eat children. Does that make me some sort of monster? 1.2929 0.04914 140 108 23 9
1119 I know it's historical fiction, but I still have a bone to pick. 1.2929 0.04808 140 107 25 8
1120 I'm here to discuss the Death of the Author. 1.2929 0.05018 140 109 21 10
1121 Okay so there is an asteroid but like ... then what?? 1.2929 0.04590 140 105 29 6
1122 I'm ready to be revealed as your anonymous source." 1.2929 0.04914 140 108 23 9
1123 The beginning was good, but the book seemed to drag on. 1.2929 0.04590 140 105 29 6
1124 When is MY happy ending ? 1.2929 0.05018 140 109 21 10
1125 Barney was not happy about his unauthorized biography. 1.2929 0.04476 140 104 31 5
1126 How to train your dinosaur was exploitative. 1.2920 0.04986 137 106 22 9
1127 Sorry, I was certain that it said "eat the author. 1.2920 0.05498 137 111 12 14
1128 Particularly offensive was your description of the villain as a 'cold-blooded killer.' 1.2920 0.04877 137 105 24 8
1129 Uh...do you want to mention the six-foot safe distancing rule to him? 1.2920 0.04986 137 106 22 9
1130 Read? Lady, I devour books. 1.2920 0.05093 137 107 20 10
1131 I can't believe you left ME, the monster under your bed in childhood, out of your autobiography! 1.2920 0.04877 137 105 24 8
1132 Extinct, my ass! 1.2920 0.04535 137 102 30 5
1133 Loved your book! It just slayed me. 1.2920 0.04986 137 106 22 9
1134 Are you Meat, the author? 1.2920 0.05197 137 108 18 11
1135 I'm representing the Thesaurus club 1.2920 0.04986 137 106 22 9
1136 Carol suddenly regrets her detailed account of the Ice Age. 1.2920 0.04986 137 106 22 9
1137 I a not a dinosaur just because I don’t like e-books. 1.2920 0.04986 137 106 22 9
1138 Setting the record straight, I'm a vegan. I only portray a carnivore on television 1.2920 0.04877 137 105 24 8
1139 I’m a huge fan! I devoured your first book! 1.2920 0.04766 137 104 26 7
1140 Did you think I wouldn't realize the dinosaur was me? 1.2920 0.04652 137 103 28 6
1141 I’ve wanted to eat you for ages. 1.2920 0.05197 137 108 18 11
1142 Oh, so you think it was just a meteor do you? You weren't even there!! 1.2920 0.04877 137 105 24 8
1143 What?! I thought it said ‘eat the author.’ 1.2920 0.04652 137 103 28 6
1144 I've come all the way here to try your books, and now you tell me they're not organic? 1.2920 0.05197 137 108 18 11
1145 I just want to thank you. So often I’m portrayed as two dimensional and cartoonish. 1.2920 0.05197 137 108 18 11
1146 No, not Dinah Shore...D-I-N-O-S-A-U-R. 1.2920 0.04877 137 105 24 8
1147 I've devoured all your novels 1.2920 0.04877 137 105 24 8
1148 That was personal Brenda! You said you wouldn’t tell anyone! You just wait, when I get bigger nobody will laugh at the name Godzilla ever again! 1.2920 0.04877 137 105 24 8
1149 Well, just so you know, I'm suing for defamation of character. 1.2910 0.05061 134 104 21 9
1150 You said you were going to remember all our years together fondly, Princess, and now this? 1.2909 0.05059 110 82 24 4
1151 You left out that I wasn't hugged enough as a hatchling. 1.2908 0.04884 141 109 23 9
1152 Sorry, I'm still evolving, I thought it said EAT. 1.2899 0.04846 138 106 24 8
1153 OK, just tell me how a historian can write about my era? 1.2899 0.05163 138 109 18 11
1154 I always thought author book signings were just make believe 1.2899 0.04954 138 107 22 9
1155 As an actual dinosaur I'm calling cultural appropriation on you. 1.2899 0.05265 138 110 16 12
1156 Years of Jurassic research left her with hallucinations at awkward times. 1.2899 0.04623 138 104 28 6
1157 I know how hard it is when bookstores go extinct. 1.2897 0.05940 107 85 13 9
1158 Bronte Sisters? Oh, I heard Brontosaurus. My bad. 1.2889 0.05450 135 109 13 13
1159 Been in line a long time. 1.2889 0.04917 135 104 23 8
1160 Ok, first of all, I attacked Kyoto before even MEETING Mothra! 1.2889 0.04687 135 102 27 6
1161 The appeal of her novels appears timeless. 1.2889 0.05137 135 106 19 10
1162 You swore our relationship would remain private. 1.2889 0.04860 135 106 20 9
1163 Why’s it always gotta be the dragon who dies? 1.2889 0.04917 135 104 23 8
1164 I have a bone to pick about not making it on the Ark. 1.2889 0.04687 135 102 27 6
1165 Do you think that just ONCE it might be possible for the dragon to eat the prince and get the girl? 1.2889 0.05137 135 106 19 10
1166 You should pitch it to Spielberg. 1.2889 0.04803 135 103 25 7
1167 Do you have any idea how long I’ve been waiting? 1.2889 0.05243 135 107 17 11
1168 Your continual characterization of fire breathing dragons as being arsonists and pyromaniacs makes my blood boil. 1.2889 0.04687 135 102 27 6
1169 No, there was no meteor shower. That's ‘fake’ news. I’m here, aren’t I? 1.2889 0.04917 135 104 23 8
1170 Sorry, "eat" the author is next week. 1.2889 0.04188 135 108 19 8
1171 I understand, but it's still 1:59. 1.2889 0.05137 135 106 19 10
1172 What did you mean by a drag-on sentence? 1.2889 0.04917 135 104 23 8
1173 Are you the author of “The Dragon with the Girl Tattoo?” 1.2889 0.04917 135 104 23 8
1174 I thought the sign said Meet King Arthur 1.2889 0.04687 135 102 27 6
1175 It was so refreshing to read something written for the reptilian brain! 1.2889 0.04567 135 101 29 5
1176 You had no right to reveal my private life. 1.2889 0.04917 135 104 23 8
1177 I can relate -- I've survived a lot of bad press myself. 1.2889 0.04917 135 104 23 8
1178 Your writing has changed the way I view my arms. 1.2889 0.04917 135 104 23 8
1179 Have you any idea how long I’ve had to wait for this book? 1.2889 0.04803 135 103 25 7
1180 Wait, does that sign say ‘meet the author’ or ‘eat the author?’” 1.2889 0.05243 135 107 17 11
1181 Wish I had stuck to masks & social distancing, damn this vaccine!!! 1.2889 0.04917 135 104 23 8
1182 You said all those conversations were off the record, Janet! 1.2889 0.04917 135 104 23 8
1183 No, two Es 1.2889 0.05348 135 108 15 12
1184 I really enjoyed the biting sarcasm. 1.2889 0.05137 135 106 19 10
1185 I thought the M was silent 1.2889 0.05137 135 106 19 10
1186 You knew full well that Trump always finds a way to enforce non-disclosure agreements. 1.2889 0.05137 135 106 19 10
1187 Oh? I was sure the Ad said eat the author. 1.2889 0.05348 135 108 15 12
1188 That's G-O-D-Z ... why aren't you writing?" 1.2889 0.05243 135 107 17 11
1189 You went a little too easy on the asteroid. 1.2889 0.04745 135 105 22 8
1190 I told you that I don’t like prehistoric dinosaur, prefer time-challenged reptile. 1.2889 0.05028 135 105 21 9
1191 Do you remember Jacksonville? '78? Remember when I said 'Wow, I hope no one writes a book about this'? 1.2889 0.04687 135 102 27 6
1192 I'll be back. 1.2889 0.04803 135 103 25 7
1193 I'm here to reclaim my narrative 1.2889 0.05137 135 106 19 10
1194 And for the record, I thought the way you wrote about the 'lizard brain' was intentionally disparaging" 1.2889 0.05028 135 105 21 9
1195 Ms. Bushnell’s sequel, “Rex in the City”, wasn’t quite as well received. 1.2889 0.04803 135 103 25 7
1196 I thought this was a line to vote. I came to save my species 1.2889 0.05243 135 107 17 11
1197 Forget about getting the princess, I just want more fire for the sequel! 1.2889 0.03622 135 109 19 7
1198 Excuse me, but why is your book under the "Mythological Fantasy" section? 1.2889 0.05028 135 105 21 9
1199 I’m your biggest dragon. 1.2889 0.05028 135 105 21 9
1200 I want to refute the lie that dinosaurs are extinct because we don't read. I also have your first book. 1.2879 0.04990 132 102 22 8
1201 I am more than just the stereotypical dinosaur you portrayed me as 1.2879 0.05105 132 103 20 9
1202 See, her books really do appeal across all ages! 1.2857 0.05071 133 104 20 9
1203 My editor warned me this might happen. 1.2857 0.04841 133 102 24 7
1204 A typically awkward moment in the life of a Beowulf scholar . 1.2857 0.05182 133 105 18 10
1205 Do you know how long I been waiting, and you tell me it's only 1:59 1.2857 0.04957 133 103 22 8
1206 Really Marge? All I am is a Jurassic footnote? 1.2857 0.04722 133 101 26 6
1207 You could’ve been kinder in the part about my breath. I have feelings you know. 1.2857 0.04600 133 100 28 5
1208 Your book, ‘“I, Fossil” simply changed me forever. 1.2857 0.04722 133 101 26 6
1209 See, Professor, we're not extinct, we're just publicity shy. 1.2857 0.05182 133 105 18 10
1210 Can you sign it .. "Best Always to Rex". 1.2857 0.05071 133 104 20 9
1211 Pardon me, but it's 'meet' the author not 'eat' the author. 1.2857 0.04841 133 102 24 7
1212 I'm a fan of yours from way back. 1.2857 0.04722 133 101 26 6
1213 I have a literal bone to pick with you!" 1.2857 0.05071 133 104 20 9
1214 I can't believe you made me out to be such a monster! 1.2857 0.04957 133 103 22 8
1215 No, Ma'am. I'm sure the radio invitation said 'Eat the author ...' 1.2857 0.05071 133 104 20 9
1216 I resent the chapter that says if you look like me you can’t understand algorithms 1.2857 0.05502 133 108 12 13
1217 You’re sure the Birthday Party isn’t at this location? 1.2857 0.04841 133 102 24 7
1218 You said OFF the record. 1.2857 0.05291 133 106 16 11
1219 Well, as you can see I am not extinct. 1.2857 0.04722 133 101 26 6
1220 Glenda you swore our relationship was confidential. 1.2857 0.04841 133 102 24 7
1221 Hello! My name is Puff. 1.2857 0.04841 133 102 24 7
1222 I'm so irritated. I've gotta tell ya, that's not exactly how it happened. 1.2857 0.04957 133 103 22 8
1223 How do you write dragons so well? 1.2857 0.05182 133 105 18 10
1224 Yeah, well I thought YOU were extinct! 1.2857 0.05182 133 105 18 10
1225 Please sign it 'To Jeff, with fond memories of our time in the Mesozoic Era'. 1.2857 0.04841 133 102 24 7
1226 Don’t take this wrong but I see so much of my own story in your writing 1.2857 0.04722 133 101 26 6
1227 Listen, you liberal bitch. 1.2857 0.05071 133 104 20 9
1228 Stop telling people we love tacos 1.2857 0.05397 133 107 14 12
1229 It's 1:59 for Christ sake. 1.2857 0.05502 133 108 12 13
1230 For the last time PLEASE hand me the book! 1.2857 0.05071 133 104 20 9
1231 You told me it was off the fossil record! 1.2857 0.04600 133 100 28 5
1232 I swallowed your book. No doubt I will like the author even if your are half as good. 1.2857 0.05182 133 105 18 10
1233 You wouldn't believe how early I got in line. 1.2857 0.05182 133 105 18 10
1234 You made me look like a monster, Carol! 1.2857 0.05071 133 104 20 9
1235 So, you think you can train ME? 1.2857 0.05182 133 105 18 10
1236 I think our chance of an autograph is slim. 1.2857 0.05182 133 105 18 10
1237 Sign it, “the real monster” 1.2857 0.04722 133 101 26 6
1238 The guy ahead of us looks like he's in a rage. Should we tell him Bob Woodward don't be here till tomorrow? 1.2857 0.04957 133 103 22 8
1239 Oh, my bad, I thought the radio announcer said "Eat the author." 1.2857 0.05291 133 106 16 11
1240 No. It's mainstream fiction that's extinct. 1.2857 0.05291 133 106 16 11
1241 You’ve misunderstood. The point of my book is that one must be a walking THESAURUS to be a good communicator. 1.2857 0.04600 133 100 28 5
1242 I think I’m in the wrong era. 1.2857 0.04957 133 103 22 8
1243 Do I look feathered to you? 1.2857 0.04957 133 103 22 8
1244 The tell all book on Dinah Shore causes some confusion. 1.2857 0.05291 133 106 16 11
1245 This character on page 42, who “rises up out of the sea” then “gets drunk” and “ruins Nathan’s bar-mitzvah” — does that sound like anyone we know, Carol? 1.2846 0.05032 130 101 21 8
1246 I devoured your last book, but for this book, I thought it would be faster just to devour the author. 1.2846 0.05486 130 105 13 12
1247 I've got a bone to pick, lady. 1.2843 0.05096 102 76 23 3
1248 I guess it never occurred to you to mention how we use our fire breathing abilities in the winter to clear the sidewalks of ice for old people? 1.2836 0.04691 134 102 26 6
1249 Happy to sign, but could you spell your scientific name for me. 1.2836 0.04809 134 103 24 7
1250 No. It's "meet" the author, not "eat" the author. 1.2833 0.05183 120 93 20 7
1251 Kakutani, never shy for a fight, delivers her critique in person. 1.2824 0.04880 131 101 23 7
1252 So you thought I wouldn't be around to dispute your story! 1.2824 0.04880 131 101 23 7
1253 We've clearly been in line for eons. 1.2824 0.04939 131 104 18 9
1254 I have a bone to pick with you. 1.2824 0.04880 131 101 23 7
1255 But the reviews called you a real dinosaur... 1.2824 0.05228 131 104 17 10
1256 Oh I though the book was Let Go and Let Godzilla 1.2824 0.05339 131 105 15 11
1257 You know, you're actually more likely to be killed by a shark... 1.2824 0.04633 131 99 27 5
1258 I thought I already told you the title is 'Dragon with the GIRL tattoo'! 1.2824 0.05115 131 103 19 9
1259 Meat, the author. 2 P.M. 1.2824 0.04758 131 100 25 6
1260 Oh, crap. I thought they said EAT the author. 1.2824 0.04758 131 100 25 6
1261 Ma'am, I've read your work and your representation of us willfully ignores our positive contributions to history. 1.2824 0.04999 131 102 21 8
1262 But I’m sure I heard them say “EAT “THE AUTHOR. 1.2824 0.04504 131 103 21 7
1263 A brain the size of a walnut? You're not so smart yourself! 1.2824 0.04372 131 97 31 3
1264 I disagree with your asteroid theory. 1.2824 0.05339 131 105 15 11
1265 You won't answer my texts, you won't return my calls, and apparently our relationship and that non-disclosure agreement mean nothing to you. 1.2824 0.05115 131 103 19 9
1266 Is it Rawr with or without the 'w'? 1.2824 0.05115 131 103 19 9
1267 I want a refund. My copy was ripped to shreds. No, of course it arrived like that! 1.2824 0.05115 131 103 19 9
1268 I thought Maurice Sendak was signing books today! 1.2824 0.04999 131 102 21 8
1269 Nobody says I have small hands and lives! 1.2824 0.04439 131 100 26 5
1270 After all we've been through, how could anyone possibly think that "any resemblance to actual dragons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental?" 1.2824 0.04880 131 101 23 7
1271 I do not appreciate your characterization of me as a "Terrible Lizard". I have feelings too. 1.2824 0.05339 131 105 15 11
1272 Listen, I took a redeye all the way from Honalee to make it on time, so just sign my damn book 1.2824 0.04504 131 98 29 4
1273 And I loved the part where the Reptilian part of her brain kicked in and saved her from the dragon. 1.2824 0.04880 131 101 23 7
1274 We've been figments of your imagination long enough! 1.2824 0.05228 131 104 17 10
1275 Madame, you told it all wrong. We are still here. 1.2824 0.04633 131 99 27 5
1276 Uhh, so there’s a flaw to your asteroid/extinction theory which could involve escape rooms… 1.2824 0.04999 131 102 21 8
1277 So I’m the only creature you can think of who’s worse than Trump? 1.2824 0.04880 131 101 23 7
1278 What was your inspiration for a tourist guide to Tokyo? 1.2824 0.05115 131 103 19 9
1279 I am NOT the monster you make me out to be! 1.2824 0.04880 131 101 23 7
1280 I thought print was nearly extinct. 1.2824 0.04758 131 100 25 6
1281 Can you believe it? The dorks behind me didn’t dress up as one of your characters. 1.2824 0.04880 131 101 23 7
1282 I recognized so much of myself in your autobiography 1.2824 0.04372 131 97 31 3
1283 I loved your last book 'The Lizard of Oz'. 1.2824 0.05228 131 104 17 10
1284 That's with two l's. And thank you for asking. 1.2824 0.05228 131 104 17 10
1285 ...That's NOT the way it happened 1.2824 0.04999 131 102 21 8
1286 I feel like you really get what it’s like in the ‘belly of the beast’... but let’s make sure. 1.2824 0.05448 131 106 13 12
1287 Could you make it out to “AAAAARRRRGGGGGGHHH” 1.2824 0.04880 131 101 23 7
1288 Hi, I'm Thesaurus. I hear you've been a fan of mine for eons. 1.2821 0.05543 117 93 15 9
1289 No...not EAT the author it is MEET the author! 1.2816 0.05418 103 79 19 5
1290 Are you the advertised meat? 1.2803 0.05193 132 105 17 10
1291 I told you that in confidence. 1.2800 0.05029 125 97 21 7
1292 Not everyone cooks vegan. 1.2800 0.04765 125 95 25 5
1293 I found the entire series culturally insensitive. 1.2800 0.04899 125 96 23 6
1294 Do I seem like Fantasy to you? 1.2800 0.05156 125 98 19 8
1295 I thought they said the sign read eat 1.2800 0.05156 125 98 19 8
1296 Your stereotypical condemnation of dragons as fire-breathing heathens is repulsive and offensive!. What's next...Princesses kissing frogs? 1.2800 0.05029 125 97 21 7
1297 Why no Paleo translation? 1.2800 0.05029 125 97 21 7
1298 I just need to stock the bookshelf so I'll look intelligent on Zoom. 1.2800 0.04558 125 101 16 8
1299 Do you know how long I’ve waited for this? 1.2800 0.04765 125 95 25 5
1300 You turned my character into a monster! 1.2800 0.05029 125 97 21 7
1301 Next time, why don't you just write, "He was a very old kind of man?" 1.2800 0.05634 125 102 11 12
1302 You wrote Pachicephalosaurus with "i" but it's "y"! 1.2800 0.05029 125 97 21 7
1303 If I'm here, we can't very well all be extinct, can we? 1.2800 0.05400 125 100 15 10
1304 Rupert had come to express his opinions about Mrs. Pennyweafher's latest self-help book, "Slaying Your Inner Monsters". 1.2800 0.04765 125 95 25 5
1305 Who are those 'other demons' you kept going on about, Nancy?! 1.2791 0.05159 129 102 18 9
1306 "Lies! Dad wasn't a Japanese stuntman in a cheap rubber costume! 1.2791 0.04919 129 100 22 7
1307 You said you wouldn't use my real name. 1.2791 0.05041 129 101 20 8
1308 I told you not to use my REAL name. 1.2791 0.04919 129 100 22 7
1309 Your stories slay me. 1.2791 0.04535 129 97 28 4
1310 I can't wait to devour your new book... and you. 1.2791 0.04666 129 98 26 5
1311 Who is he?! Who's the other Saurus!? 1.2791 0.03887 129 100 25 4
1312 Maybe "EXTINCT" is a little misleading. 1.2791 0.04794 129 99 24 6
1313 I’m literally your biggest fan. I devoured all your books in one sitting! 1.2791 0.04794 129 99 24 6
1314 Yeah, I gotta beef with your conclusions. It's wasn't the comet the killed us, it was the covid. 1.2791 0.05609 129 106 10 13
1315 At least Michael Crichton called us before he slandered us. 1.2791 0.04666 129 98 26 5
1316 Once again, another author typecasting my kind into the villian role. Just classic. 1.2791 0.04666 129 98 26 5
1317 How could you do this? I loved you. 1.2791 0.05159 129 102 18 9
1318 I thought so. You don’t know the difference between a Talarurus and a Thesaurus. 1.2791 0.05389 129 104 14 11
1319 Who said she needed to be rescued? 1.2791 0.04919 129 100 22 7
1320 I’d like to talk to you about the way you portrayed the monster in the closet. 1.2791 0.05159 129 102 18 9
1321 Evidently climate change denial goes way back. 1.2791 0.04919 129 100 22 7
1322 Please inscribe it to "Puff." 1.2791 0.05609 129 106 10 13
1323 I hate it when people confuse me with an Illiterasaur 1.2791 0.04919 129 100 22 7
1324 I was wondering if you recall any more details about that hilarious anecdote about how you threw your brother’s chemistry set in the swamp 1.2791 0.05275 129 103 16 10
1325 Oh sorry, from further back i thought it said "meat, the author" 1.2791 0.05389 129 104 14 11
1326 I'm here to discuss some inaccuracies in your book. 1.2791 0.04794 129 99 24 6
1327 That was MY story to tell. 1.2791 0.04666 129 98 26 5
1328 Thank you for your depiction of me. You are a fine writer, and the perfect person to bring forth the knowledge that I am Trump's real dad. 1.2791 0.05500 129 105 12 12
1329 I have a great idea for a prequel. Just hear me out. 1.2791 0.05041 129 101 20 8
1330 I heard you wrote that printed books are going the way of the dinosaurs . 1.2791 0.04535 129 97 28 4
1331 I have a wife and kids! 1.2791 0.04919 129 100 22 7
1332 Soooo, still think your little treatise 'Life Without Dinosaurs Is Better' is still valid?? 1.2791 0.05389 129 104 14 11
1333 I was told there was lunch. 1.2791 0.04794 129 99 24 6
1334 You thought I would disappear when you put down the pen? 1.2791 0.04919 129 100 22 7
1335 I didn't like you calling me scalely, as if your psoriasis was a virtue. 1.2791 0.05159 129 102 18 9
1336 You weren't the only one that got burned, Karen. 1.2791 0.04794 129 99 24 6
1337 You call characters ‘reptilian’ as if that’s a bad thing! 1.2791 0.04666 129 98 26 5
1338 I liked everything about your book except the part that said I was extinct. 1.2791 0.05041 129 101 20 8
1339 Make it out to Dino. 1.2791 0.05275 129 103 16 10
1340 I know how it ends. 1.2791 0.04919 129 100 22 7
1341 Do the books taste good? 1.2791 0.05389 129 104 14 11
1342 My cartoonist gave me an angry face, but I'm quite friendly and simply adored your book. 1.2791 0.04919 129 100 22 7
1343 Look Ms Wright, I love your work but why am I always the tritagonist? 1.2791 0.05275 129 103 16 10
1344 I really loved your book on shorthand. I could totally relate to it. 1.2791 0.05041 129 101 20 8
1345 I understand your book is made of eco-friendly recycled materials, but is it flame retardant? 1.2791 0.05500 129 105 12 12
1346 Any plans to try your hand at PREhistorical fiction? 1.2788 0.05195 104 79 21 4
1347 What do you mean 'The Bronte Sisters'? 1.2788 0.05372 104 80 19 5
1348 I read your book. Extincts. 1.2778 0.05242 126 100 17 9
1349 Nix the prince and nobody goes Fahrenheit 451 on your ass. 1.2778 0.05362 126 101 15 10
1350 I don't know what you're peddling there, lady, but you're looking at a genuine thesaurus. 1.2778 0.04865 126 97 23 6
1351 He’ll probably want a free tote bag. 1.2764 0.04366 123 91 30 2
1352 Author: So you liked my books? Dinosaur: No, actually they were atrocious, horrible, dreadful, and lousy Author: Ahhh, you must be a Thesaurus 1.2764 0.05328 123 98 16 9
1353 I.M.Growling here to meet J.K. Rowling 1.2764 0.04802 123 94 24 5
1354 I hated the ending. But then I realize I'm not your audience. 1.2764 0.04661 123 93 26 4
1355 Honestly, Brenda, in the sequel I better get a damned love interest. 1.2764 0.04802 123 94 24 5
1356 I'd like to offer my services as a Thesaurus. 1.2764 0.05328 123 98 16 9
1357 I've been in line for eons! 1.2764 0.04939 123 95 22 6
1358 Critics who describe your success as meteoric is triggering. 1.2764 0.05202 123 97 18 8
1359 He has a history with the author. 1.2764 0.04939 123 95 22 6
1360 Well,what I heard was,"Come eat the author." 1.2759 0.04987 116 89 22 5
1361 I sure hope this was worth the wait. 1.2742 0.04768 124 95 24 5
1362 I'll be speaking to my lawyer. 1.2742 0.05290 124 99 16 9
1363 Of all the authors I have read, your books make the best roughage. 1.2742 0.04904 124 96 22 6
1364 You treat us as if we are just a collection of fossils! 1.2742 0.05036 124 97 20 7
1365 None of you are wearing masks or social distancing, I had to take precautions! 1.2742 0.04904 124 96 22 6
1366 Get this straight. NO, we can not breathe fire. 1.2742 0.04904 124 96 22 6
1367 Well then what time is eat the author? 1.2742 0.04904 124 96 22 6
1368 I never claimed that ALL of you died from a meteor strike. 1.2742 0.05036 124 97 20 7
1369 This isn’t what we meant when we said independent bookstores were becoming extinct. 1.2742 0.04904 124 96 22 6
1370 Your paleo diet book didn't work for me. 1.2742 0.04904 124 96 22 6
1371 Just calm down: My book is about Dinah Shore, not you. 1.2742 0.05290 124 99 16 9
1372 Actually, not all monsters in the closet. 1.2742 0.04904 124 96 22 6
1373 I told you I ate those dwarves in confidence, Barbara. 1.2742 0.05412 124 100 14 10
1374 It was cold that day, Im actually much larger than your description 1.2742 0.04904 124 96 22 6
1375 You like rhymes about dragons like “pillage the village?” How about you’re liable for libel? 1.2742 0.04768 124 95 24 5
1376 I,m looking forward to the meet and greet with the author,including the lunch. 1.2742 0.05649 124 102 10 12
1377 Look, Edna, I just need a simple yes or no answer. Do you want the homeowners, auto and motorcycle insurance bundle or not? 1.2742 0.05290 124 99 16 9
1378 There better be a sequel where the princess kisses me back to normal. 1.2742 0.05036 124 97 20 7
1379 Drat! I thought they said, ‘EAT, the author’. 1.2742 0.04768 124 95 24 5
1380 Dragon lives matter too, you know! 1.2742 0.05036 124 97 20 7
1381 Apparently it's all the rage in Hanalei. 1.2742 0.05649 124 102 10 12
1382 I know you’ve had to wait 65 million years, but I promise the author will be here shortly. 1.2742 0.04557 124 101 15 8
1383 Exactly what did you mean by, 'like a dinosaur. 1.2742 0.05036 124 97 20 7
1384 ... and the last name is spelled ... S ... A ... U ... R 1.2742 0.04768 124 95 24 5
1385 Oh great, it’ll take forever to spell his name right! 1.2742 0.04629 124 94 26 4
1386 Meteor, schmeteor - I was there! 1.2742 0.05036 124 97 20 7
1387 It’s Karen, with a K. UGH, do I need to talk to your manager? Do you not KNOW who I am? 1.2742 0.05412 124 100 14 10
1388 I understand the 3 book limit, but I was hoping you could make an exception. 1.2742 0.05290 124 99 16 9
1389 I'm sorry, but that sequence it's just not plausible. 1.2742 0.05532 124 101 12 11
1390 Excuse me ma’am but masks are required for anyone who enters the store and isn’t a big lizard. 1.2742 0.05412 124 100 14 10
1391 I very much enjoyed your book, however, the chapter on panpsychism lacked a certain... how you say... lustre? 1.2742 0.05164 124 98 18 8
1392 Dinosaur! not Dinah Shore! 1.2742 0.05164 124 98 18 8
1393 I was really angry that you wrote about me like I was a monster. 1.2742 0.04904 124 96 22 6
1394 Contrary to what you've told your son, Mrs Saunders, we're very much real. 1.2742 0.05036 124 97 20 7
1395 And what’s this about us having feathers?! 1.2742 0.05164 124 98 18 8
1396 I couldn't put it down. 1.2736 0.05451 106 83 17 6
1397 So it's not really a question, more of guttural fire-belching roar... 1.2736 0.05451 106 83 17 6
1398 Exactly what about me makes you think ‘bird?’ 1.2736 0.05283 106 82 19 5
1399 I’m a voracious reader of your work. 1.2727 0.05140 99 75 21 3
1400 ‘Remember me? The thesaurus’ 1.2727 0.05378 121 97 15 9
1401 You called me "Phil" but all our friends recognized me. And I wasn't that drunk. 1.2727 0.05249 121 96 17 8
1402 I'm really upset, it wasn't the giant asteroid that killed us. It was stress about the giant asteroid that did. Please fact check. 1.2727 0.04979 121 94 21 6
1403 WHY DOES THE DRAGON ALWAYS HAVE TO BE SO ANGRY! 1.2705 0.05210 122 97 17 8
1404 For the last time, the cavemen I knew ate grains! 1.2705 0.04804 122 94 23 5
1405 Make it out to "Mr. Big Hands." It's for a friend. 1.2705 0.05079 122 96 19 7
1406 Well, you have to admit meet does sound a lot like eat. 1.2705 0.04661 122 93 25 4
1407 And How Exactly would you know how little children TASTE 1.2705 0.05339 122 98 15 9
1408 Yo, I heard you were talking shit about me in “Evolutionary Disadvantages of the Dinosaurs, vol. 2”. Dude you weren’t there, stop pretending like you know what happened. 1.2705 0.04943 122 95 21 6
1409 Do you have any idea how long I've waited in this line?!?!? 1.2705 0.04943 122 95 21 6
1410 Could we speed this up, I don't have much time! 1.2705 0.05210 122 97 17 8
1411 Well, you would be upset if I wrote from a woman's point of view. 1.2705 0.05079 122 96 19 7
1412 I found your plot a bit hard to swallow. 1.2705 0.05079 122 96 19 7
1413 The whole swords and sorcery genre leaves me cold but, man, can you ever write dragon sex!!! 1.2705 0.05339 122 98 15 9
1414 "I'm a big fan of your earlier period pieces." 1.2705 0.04733 122 96 20 6
1415 Gorgon's inability to read the letter M negated the effort to be first-in-line 1.2705 0.04943 122 95 21 6
1416 So finally I meet the author of The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo! Now, I have a letter from my lawyers regarding image rights... 1.2705 0.04943 122 95 21 6
1417 I may be your T-ex, Karen, but I don't appreciate you writing about me as your T-wreck. 1.2705 0.05079 122 96 19 7
1418 Your chapter on how to season charred goats saved my marriage 1.2705 0.04661 122 93 25 4
1419 No, that was my kid-brother you slayed. We save the really nasty dragons for published writers. 1.2705 0.04804 122 94 23 5
1420 You never asked for my permission to write a book about me, and why is it considered a ‘fantasy’ novel? 1.2705 0.05210 122 97 17 8
1421 Listen lady, I was here before you were born! 1.2705 0.05339 122 98 15 9
1422 You are no Bob Woodward! 1.2705 0.05079 122 96 19 7
1423 I just feel like you get me 1.2705 0.05210 122 97 17 8
1424 Have YOU ever met a knight? I have 1.2705 0.05079 122 96 19 7
1425 Why'd you have to kill off all the dinosaurs in this book?" "Sir this is a non-fiction. 1.2705 0.05210 122 97 17 8
1426 That's "G-O-D-Z-I-L-L-A." 1.2705 0.04804 122 94 23 5
1427 How long is this going to drag on. 1.2705 0.05210 122 97 17 8
1428 Could you sign the beginning of Chapter 2: Paleo Diets - Fact or Fiction?” 1.2705 0.04943 122 95 21 6
1429 The only royalty I'm after is my check! 1.2705 0.04943 122 95 21 6
1430 Thanks for a book on something other than monsters or Trump. 1.2705 0.04943 122 95 21 6
1431 Make it out to "monster fan". 1.2705 0.04661 122 98 17 7
1432 Your portrait of me as a cold blooded lizard is just unfair Karen! 1.2705 0.04661 122 93 25 4
1433 At the very least, you could have mentioned me in the Acknowledgements. 1.2705 0.05339 122 98 15 9
1434 I understand that you’ve been in line for a while, but the sign says 2pm 1.2705 0.05210 122 97 17 8
1435 Doesn’t it seem like we’ve been on line for eons? 1.2692 0.04970 104 79 22 3
1436 It was then Martha realized “Dinosaurs Suck!” was perhaps not the best name for her short story collection. 1.2689 0.05297 119 95 16 8
1437 You looked different on Tinder 1.2689 0.05297 119 95 16 8
1438 Make it out to my prey, his name's "Howard". 1.2685 0.05361 108 85 17 6
1439 I’ve been waiting on line a very, very long time! 1.2683 0.04770 123 95 23 5
1440 Elaine, I can’t believe what you said about me in your book 1.2683 0.05042 123 97 19 7
1441 They told me I could EAT the author at 2:00 PM! 1.2683 0.04628 123 94 25 4
1442 I’ve got a bone to pick with you. 1.2683 0.04908 123 96 21 6
1443 Did you even speak to a dinosaur before writing about them? 1.2683 0.04908 123 96 21 6
1444 In the last 80 million years, no poetry has spoken to me like yours. 1.2683 0.05042 123 97 19 7
1445 Believe it or not, I’m a voracious reader. 1.2683 0.04770 123 95 23 5
1446 I am surprised to see a creature who clearly has a lizard brain at a bookstore... 1.2683 0.05424 123 100 13 10
1447 I find your prose sumptuous. 1.2683 0.04908 123 96 21 6
1448 Make it out to "T" and you should have plenty of room for the rest. 1.2683 0.04770 123 95 23 5
1449 You must hear this all the time, but I’m your biggest fan. 1.2683 0.05300 123 99 15 9
1450 Poetry, huh? I thought that died out ages ago. 1.2683 0.05424 123 100 13 10
1451 I'd be stoked if you sign, 'To Godzilla with Love'. 1.2683 0.04908 123 96 21 6
1452 No... I mean I actually devoured it! 1.2683 0.04700 123 97 20 6
1453 Just a minute, I'll go get him. 1.2683 0.04556 123 96 22 5
1454 What do you mean it’s “science fiction”? 1.2683 0.04908 123 96 21 6
1455 You depicted me as some sort of a monster. 1.2683 0.04628 123 94 25 4
1456 Are you the Hack who accused me of being Extinct ? 1.2683 0.04908 123 96 21 6
1457 I really need to stop drinking on the job 1.2683 0.05042 123 97 19 7
1458 I adore that it reads like non-fiction! 1.2683 0.04770 123 95 23 5
1459 I’m only angry because I can’t reach the damn book! 1.2683 0.04331 123 92 29 2
1460 So you think we all have brains the size of a pea, do you?! 1.2683 0.05545 123 101 11 11
1461 After all I did telling you the Secrets of Dinosaurs and I’m not included as an author? 1.2683 0.04908 123 96 21 6
1462 Not ALL of us breathe fire, you know... 1.2683 0.04482 123 93 27 3
1463 I am a thesaurus and I love your new book on word play. 1.2683 0.04908 123 96 21 6
1464 Please inscribe it: To Tim and fond memories of high school. 1.2683 0.05042 123 97 19 7
1465 I have a feeling this is going to DRAG ON 1.2683 0.04908 123 96 21 6
1466 I wonder if he is going to read it or burn it? 1.2683 0.05042 123 97 19 7
1467 You weren't there millions of years ago! 1.2683 0.04770 123 95 23 5
1468 I can't wait to get my hands on it! 1.2683 0.05172 123 98 17 8
1469 Do I look like I have feathers?! 1.2683 0.04770 123 95 23 5
1470 Marjorie was beginning to wonder if her use of unflattering reptilian metaphors had gone too far. 1.2683 0.04908 123 96 21 6
1471 Just because I object to your racy language doesn't make me a dinosaur. 1.2683 0.04908 123 96 21 6
1472 A page turner! I couldn't even reach past page one. 1.2683 0.04628 123 94 25 4
1473 It just seemed a bit unrealistic to me. 1.2683 0.05042 123 97 19 7
1474 I’ve been waiting in this line for 65 million years! 1.2683 0.05042 123 97 19 7
1475 That's not what happened! 1.2683 0.05042 123 97 19 7
1476 You plagiarized my book! I wrote the same things ages ago! 1.2683 0.04770 123 95 23 5
1477 I recent you comparing Trump with a dinosaur. 1.2683 0.05300 123 99 15 9
1478 Anne. With an ‘e’. 1.2683 0.04908 123 96 21 6
1479 Make it out to my mother, Daenerys Stormborn of the House Targaryen, First of Her Name, the Unburnt, Khaleesi of the Great Grass Sea, and Breaker of Chains. 1.2683 0.05172 123 98 17 8
1480 I was NOT unfaithful, I was just trying to stop our extinction God damnit! 1.2683 0.04628 123 94 25 4
1481 So Suzie, why don't we tell them what really happened? 1.2683 0.05042 123 97 19 7
1482 Hello my dear - I assume the M is silent, yes? 1.2683 0.05042 123 97 19 7
1483 I know I said that Jurassic Park was a hoax because I didn’t want to cause a panic 1.2683 0.05172 123 98 17 8
1484 Your book inspired me to stop living under a rock 1.2683 0.04908 123 96 21 6
1485 It’s just a body shield against the virus, don’t worry. 1.2683 0.04908 123 96 21 6
1486 It's 2020. Have you not heard of cultural appropriation? 1.2683 0.05042 123 97 19 7
1487 I'm your biggest fan. 1.2672 0.05246 116 92 17 7
1488 You know, some of us did have highly-developed brains and could read. 1.2667 0.05122 120 95 18 7
1489 Why have you written 'To Barney'? Do I look purple to you?" 1.2667 0.05122 120 95 18 7
1490 We need to discuss that ending. 1.2667 0.04223 120 89 30 1
1491 This waiting has a capability of turning us extinct! 1.2667 0.05643 120 99 10 11
1492 You wrote this book as if you knew me. Have we met? 1.2667 0.04841 120 93 22 5
1493 Now, it's about time that you explain why you didn't give me any wings! 1.2667 0.05122 120 95 18 7
1494 What do you mean I was bad tempered? 1.2667 0.05122 120 95 18 7
1495 Any resemblance between you and the creature in the story is purely coincidence. Read the Edition Notice on page xii. 1.2667 0.04984 120 94 20 6
1496 It’s your fault I came out of the closet! 1.2667 0.04543 120 91 26 3
1497 He burns all her books. 1.2667 0.05389 120 97 14 9
1498 If she keeps us waiting any longer I’m going to be extinct. 1.2667 0.04841 120 93 22 5
1499 I tried your "Prequel to Paleo" diet and look what happened! 1.2667 0.05122 120 95 18 7
1500 Those few fire-breathing ruffians are a tiny minority in our varied, vibrant culture. 1.2667 0.05257 120 96 16 8
1501 I especially liked the chapter where Elena was left alone to deal with her demons. 1.2667 0.04465 120 93 23 4
1502 I’ve waited 150 million years to meet you. 1.2667 0.05257 120 96 16 8
1503 I notice you didn't capitalize "Monster" anywhere in your book. 1.2667 0.04984 120 94 20 6
1504 You're in my seat 1.2667 0.05257 120 96 16 8
1505 I wouldn't have told you that thing about my family if I thought it would end in one of your books. 1.2667 0.04984 120 94 20 6
1506 Jan suddenly regretted finishing her novel. 1.2667 0.05257 120 96 16 8
1507 You called me an herbivore. I have a bone to pick with that. 1.2667 0.04984 120 94 20 6
1508 This is so awkward. I didn't buy your book. I thought this was eat the author. I'm glad I came though! You seem really smart and interesting. If you're not busy later I'd love to grab a bite... 1.2667 0.04841 120 93 22 5
1509 Where do you get your ideas, Ms. LeGuin? 1.2667 0.04984 120 94 20 6
1510 Admit it, Marsha, the big green reptilian guy in your book is based on me, isn't he? Prom was long time ago, Marsha. Let it go." 1.2667 0.05389 120 97 14 9
1511 That’s Bronte with an ‘e’. Thank you, I’ve been waiting millions of years for this. 1.2667 0.05389 120 97 14 9
1512 I think your portrayal of monsters lacks nuance. 1.2667 0.05389 120 97 14 9
1513 I'm not happy with the way you portrayed me. You made me seem like a monster. 1.2667 0.04841 120 93 22 5
1514 Since I’m the book’s subject, and ipso facto THE major contributor, a coauthor credit would have been nice. 1.2667 0.04841 120 93 22 5
1515 Saying my species are Knaarfs is a blatant racial slur. 1.2667 0.02834 120 97 20 3
1516 Feels like we've been waiting in line for ages. 1.2667 0.04841 120 93 22 5
1517 Your last book really slayed me. 1.2667 0.04386 120 90 28 2
1518 Lady, you still goin' with your extinction theory, huh, you lookin' at me? 1.2667 0.04841 120 93 22 5
1519 Tell him we’re in a hurry.” “No, YOU tell him. 1.2667 0.04841 120 93 22 5
1520 No lizard dishes, and you call this a cookbook? 1.2667 0.04984 120 94 20 6
1521 My mistake. I thought the poster read 'Eat the Author'. 1.2667 0.04694 120 92 24 4
1522 I can’t help but complain that my type is underrepresented in your romance novels 1.2667 0.04841 120 93 22 5
1523 Yes, I suppose I did mention your small hands, sorry. 1.2667 0.04984 120 94 20 6
1524 Are YOU my mother? 1.2667 0.05122 120 95 18 7
1525 Look Lady ... How would you like it if I put you as the Lead in my Pop up Children’s Book ?? 1.2667 0.04841 120 93 22 5
1526 Sorry, I heard “eat the author.” 1.2667 0.05257 120 96 16 8
1527 You may have written that your ex husband is a million years behind you now, but I'll never be extinct from your dreams Sue! 1.2667 0.04984 120 94 20 6
1528 Was hoping you had a non flammable copy. 1.2667 0.05257 120 96 16 8
1529 I hated the ending. I don't bust my tail 24/7, guarding my tower, just to die to an arrogant blonde haired human in shiny armor. What the heck Karen? 1.2667 0.05389 120 97 14 9
1530 You tell him that his 10 minutes are up. 1.2667 0.05288 105 82 18 5
1531 So we meet again Dragonslayer! 1.2667 0.05122 120 95 18 7
1532 Make it out to Rex. 1.2667 0.05122 120 95 18 7
1533 I consider you the greatest comedic fiction writer since Darwin 1.2667 0.04841 120 93 22 5
1534 Wanna catch up on old times when you’re done here? 1.2667 0.05122 120 95 18 7
1535 It's a Roman a clef, Edna. How could I not know Ty was really me? 1.2667 0.04841 120 93 22 5
1536 I'll take two books on the Jurassic Period. The wife and I are homeschooling this year. 1.2667 0.05122 120 95 18 7
1537 You’re upset that I didn’t make you the lead? 1.2667 0.05389 120 97 14 9
1538 The most ridiculous depiction of a dragon I have ever read! Slain by an eleven year old? As if... 1.2667 0.05257 120 96 16 8
1539 Call me a mouth breather to my face! 1.2667 0.03071 120 98 18 4
1540 First of all, do I look extinct to you? 1.2667 0.04984 120 94 20 6
1541 Man was not alive during the prehistoric age, so quit using that as a passive aggressive insult. 1.2667 0.04984 120 94 20 6
1542 Have you written anything appropriate to the Mesozoic Era? 1.2667 0.04984 120 94 20 6
1543 I simply devoured your book! 1.2667 0.04984 120 94 20 6
1544 . . . and the LARGE PRINT, SHORT ARM edition, if you please. 1.2667 0.05122 120 95 18 7
1545 Do you have an audio version? My arms are too short to hold your books so I can easily read them. 1.2667 0.04841 120 93 22 5
1546 Look, if you want to tell your side of the story then write your own memoir. 1.2667 0.04694 120 92 24 4
1547 You dare to appropriate dragons! 1.2667 0.05122 120 95 18 7
1548 You promised that you wouldn’t use my name! 1.2667 0.04841 120 93 22 5
1549 My mistake, I thought they said eat the author 1.2667 0.05122 120 95 18 7
1550 I find the depiction of dragons in your work to be antiquated and invidious. 1.2667 0.04694 120 92 24 4
1551 What did you put in my coffee this morning?! 1.2667 0.04841 120 93 22 5
1552 I can't reach my wallet 1.2667 0.05389 120 97 14 9
1553 Could you dedicate these to Micropachycephalosaurus? 1.2667 0.05257 120 96 16 8
1554 I was told this event was "Eat the Author 1.2667 0.05122 120 95 18 7
1555 I didn't like the way the book ended. 1.2667 0.04984 120 94 20 6
1556 You promised you wouldn't write about us. 1.2667 0.05257 120 96 16 8
1557 From the back of the line, it looked like 'eat the author'. 1.2667 0.05389 120 97 14 9
1558 Why can't you write books about how DRAGONS train HUMANS? 1.2667 0.04929 105 80 22 3
1559 Just make it out to Mothra 1.2667 0.04984 120 94 20 6
1560 We need to talk about your one-dimensional portrayal of the monster under the bed. 1.2667 0.04543 120 91 26 3
1561 Autograph it ‘To Harold on his 66th millionth birthday’’ 1.2667 0.05517 120 98 12 10
1562 I totally devoured your last book. 1.2667 0.04841 120 93 22 5
1563 It feels like I've been waiting millions of years in line! 1.2667 0.04543 120 91 26 3
1564 I have been in this line so long that I feel prehistoric 1.2667 0.05389 120 97 14 9
1565 He's ticked off about the way she portrayed him in the extinction. 1.2667 0.04841 120 93 22 5
1566 So, how hard would it have been to occasionally use the term— 'queen of the dinosaurs'—" 1.2667 0.05122 120 95 18 7
1567 I heard it was “eat” the author at 2pm. 1.2667 0.04139 120 96 19 5
1568 I wasn't a Vegetarian lady, Correct your book. Do I have to prove it to you? 1.2667 0.05122 120 95 18 7
1569 I love all your princess in the castle stories. 1.2667 0.04694 120 92 24 4
1570 Your work is staggeringly herpetophobic 1.2667 0.04984 120 94 20 6
1571 The meteor was an unoriginal ending for a beloved protagonist. 1.2667 0.04984 120 94 20 6
1572 Help me out here....is this the buffet? 1.2667 0.04984 120 94 20 6
1573 I know this sounds bad, but I never thought a human author could create such relatable monsters. 1.2667 0.04984 120 94 20 6
1574 My favorite part was the meteor hurtling towards the planet! 1.2667 0.05257 120 96 16 8
1575 Oh God" Gary thought, "of all the times to need to sneeze! 1.2667 0.05257 120 96 16 8
1576 This book insults my species. Mesozoic lives matter. 1.2667 0.05389 120 97 14 9
1577 God dammit, Susan, I feel offended! 1.2667 0.05122 120 95 18 7
1578 I need a book on how dinosaurs died, so I can save my family. 1.2667 0.04984 120 94 20 6
1579 I’m as real as your talent. 1.2667 0.04984 120 94 20 6
1580 Sorry, I thought I heard 'eat,' not meet. But may I? 1.2667 0.04841 120 93 22 5
1581 Cheryl always knew the monster in her closet wouldn't be happy about what she had written about it in her autobiography 1.2667 0.05122 120 95 18 7
1582 It became apparent to Anne that she should have hired professional fan screeners after all. 1.2667 0.05122 120 95 18 7
1583 Wait a second...this isn’t the line for returns... 1.2667 0.04841 120 93 22 5
1584 Of course, I’m your biggest fan! 1.2667 0.04984 120 94 20 6
1585 How to Make a New Pal Every Day was MY idea! 1.2667 0.04841 120 93 22 5
1586 „I guess It’s time to start building the arc” 1.2667 0.04841 120 93 22 5
1587 You killed my favourite character. 1.2667 0.05122 120 95 18 7
1588 Your book was so relatable. 1.2667 0.05389 120 97 14 9
1589 Really? You put the Bambiraptor on the cover instead of me! 1.2661 0.04737 124 98 20 6
1590 A brain the size of a pea! 1.2653 0.05720 98 78 14 6
1591 What? You've never heard of a thesaurus? 1.2653 0.05720 98 78 14 6
1592 Why yes, I'm a Thesaurus. 1.2650 0.05206 117 93 17 7
1593 I knew T-Rex, and I must say, I think you've painted him in a very unflattering light. 1.2650 0.04605 117 89 25 3
1594 Just wanted to see the woman who captured my story so perfectly. 1.2650 0.04915 117 91 21 5
1595 ' Look, I really loved your pacing, style and plot development, but as for me, there was no character I could relate to at all." 1.2650 0.05346 117 94 15 8
1596 ... and then the meteorite crash!! That got me goosebumps! 1.2650 0.04763 117 90 23 4
1597 I loved your monstrous characters, and all the buried evidence, but everyone dying at the end was overkill. 1.2650 0.04274 117 92 21 4
1598 We are both dinosaurs. 1.2650 0.05063 117 92 19 6
1599 I thought we agreed that I would remain an anonymous source... 1.2650 0.04915 117 91 21 5
1600 Look, I did the best I could to put you in a positive light. But, come on! 1.2650 0.05063 117 92 19 6
1601 I've been waiting millions of years for this book and it turns out it was the butler? 1.2650 0.05063 117 92 19 6
1602 Could we start early? I'm a little short on time. 1.2650 0.05063 117 92 19 6
1603 I know you must get this from all your readers, but I'm your biggest fauna! 1.2650 0.05206 117 93 17 7
1604 Thanks for saving my place. 1.2650 0.05063 117 92 19 6
1605 Yeah, dinosaurs still buy books... 1.2650 0.05615 117 96 11 10
1606 Your writing...I feel like you're the only one who truly knows me. 1.2650 0.04915 117 91 21 5
1607 I thought there was supposed to be an elephant in the room!!! 1.2650 0.05063 117 92 19 6
1608 In Chapter 7, what did you mean when you had her say it was “inevitable” that I would turn out like my father? 1.2650 0.04915 117 91 21 5
1609 Oh dear, you're not Bob Woodward . . .must've got the date wrong. Awesome book, really. Anyway, perhaps you could tell me where I might register to vote? 1.2650 0.04915 117 91 21 5
1610 Did you ever think he might be keeping her in that castle for her own protection? 1.2650 0.04915 117 91 21 5
1611 I need the large print edition because of my short arms. 1.2650 0.05346 117 94 15 8
1612 It's not for me, it's for Mothra. 1.2650 0.05063 117 92 19 6
1613 Well! you signed one for the Elephant." 1.2650 0.04763 117 90 23 4
1614 I've waited to meet you for ages 1.2650 0.05063 117 92 19 6
1615 Fantastic beasts" - nice title 1.2650 0.04443 117 88 27 2
1616 My guest couldn’t make it. He was petrified. 1.2650 0.05346 117 94 15 8
1617 I thought it said: “eat the author”. 1.2647 0.05200 102 79 19 4
1618 I made you 10 years younger, with a flawless slimy green epidermis, AND you got to eat the girl. You're not attractive when you're greedy. 1.2647 0.05200 102 79 19 4
1619 I am not just a fantasy! 1.2647 0.05200 102 79 19 4
1620 Dragon Lives Matter 1.2645 0.05349 121 98 14 9
1621 Your book "Slaying the dragon: How to reconquer your life" really hit me hard. 1.2632 0.04834 114 88 22 4
1622 Told you -her readers skewed old. 1.2632 0.04834 114 88 22 4
1623 Would you read my novel? 1.2632 0.04992 114 89 20 5
1624 How about I breathe a little fire RIGHT NOW? 1.2632 0.05439 114 92 14 8
1625 So YOU think book publishing will be extinct 1.2632 0.04834 114 88 22 4
1626 Don't worry, extinction's not so bad, it's just like retirement. 1.2632 0.05145 114 90 18 6
1627 Slagithar looked at his old friend. The two weren't all that different, he thought. Both were from the same town, went to the same college, even married into the same family. Yet only one of them had done something with their B.A. in English Lit. 1.2627 0.05571 118 97 11 10
1628 What do you know about dinosaurs?Didn't you ever hear of cultural appropriation? 1.2626 0.05292 99 77 18 4
1629 If you aren't my mother, who is? 1.2614 0.06153 88 71 11 6
1630 Any tips for a neophyte writer? I don't have much time. 1.2609 0.04954 115 90 20 5
1631 I've heard of bringing a character to life,but this is ridiculous. 1.2609 0.04797 115 89 22 4
1632 No. Just because it's labeled "fantasy" doesn't mean that you can get away with telling children that it's fine to slay innocent dragons. 1.2609 0.05106 115 91 18 6
1633 If you need me, I'll be at the table near the cafe. The sign says "meet the author's lawyer". 1.2609 0.04954 115 90 20 5
1634 You know, my community has kept an all-vegan diet for millennia. But as soon a white woman takes an interest, she gets a book deal. 1.2609 0.05396 115 93 14 8
1635 Well, your theory is garbage. It was an asteroid–a giant, flaming asteroid! Hubris had nothing to do with it. 1.2609 0.05536 115 94 12 9
1636 I’m extinct? Well ..... books are extinct! 1.2609 0.05253 115 92 16 7
1637 I’m not here for an autograph; I’m here lunch. 1.2609 0.05253 115 92 16 7
1638 It's 'Meet the author,' not 'Eat the author.' 1.2609 0.05253 115 92 16 7
1639 Okay but who do you think told the serpent where to find apples? 1.2609 0.05106 115 91 18 6
1640 Yes, Martha, I read the 'all persons fictitious' disclaimer. But really, how many other dinosaurs have taken you on a cruise to Bermuda? 1.2609 0.04954 115 90 20 5
1641 I'm not sure you're best person to be writing erotic dinosaur fiction. 1.2609 0.04797 115 89 22 4
1642 Lauren had every reason to hope the tips included in her anger management book worked as well as her research had led her to believe. 1.2609 0.04954 115 90 20 5
1643 Don't look at me like that. I didn't survive the meteoroid for nothing. 1.2609 0.05106 115 91 18 6
1644 You know nothing of my people. 1.2609 0.04468 115 87 26 2
1645 You think I'm scary? Wait 'til you see your self-publish memoir in a bargain bin. 1.2609 0.05253 115 92 16 7
1646 And just what gives you the right to appropriate the experiences of the inhabitants of my eon? 1.2609 0.04797 115 89 22 4
1647 I’m not happy with your portrayal of me. 1.2609 0.05106 115 91 18 6
1648 ...but what really gets me is the lack of nuanced character development. Dragons are not a monolith, Laura. 1.2609 0.05396 115 93 14 8
1649 But my friend told me it said "EAT' the author. 1.2609 0.04954 115 90 20 5
1650 Let ME tell you how we became extinct! 1.2609 0.05253 115 92 16 7
1651 Please make it to Lizzie, my special extinct friend 1.2609 0.04954 115 90 20 5
1652 Yeah, sign my book...rub it in that we couldn’t survive and you upright things took over. You’ll get yours....unless you vote that dyed hair velociraptor out! 1.2609 0.05253 115 92 16 7
1653 To Rex, who's brain is definitely much larger than a walnut? 1.2609 0.05536 115 94 12 9
1654 How can you blame Covid on us?? 1.2609 0.04954 115 90 20 5
1655 Feel like I’ve been on this line for eons”. 1.2609 0.04636 115 88 24 3
1656 I can't read with these arms. Could you sign my audiobook tape instead? 1.2609 0.05106 115 91 18 6
1657 What part of 'Off the record' don't you understand? 1.2609 0.04636 115 88 24 3
1658 I DO have some friends who are still alive! 1.2609 0.05253 115 92 16 7
1659 The distinctly heard the announcer say, “Eat the author, 2 pm”. 1.2609 0.04797 115 89 22 4
1660 I've been a fan for ages. 1.2609 0.04797 115 89 22 4
1661 Go ahead and make it out to 'Tired Fairytale Trope.' 1.2609 0.05253 115 92 16 7
1662 You wanna see what kind of dragon I am? 1.2609 0.05106 115 91 18 6
1663 He wanted to write his own "Long Life Secrets" book. 1.2609 0.05396 115 93 14 8
1664 I find your portrayal of dragons one-dimensional and offensive. 1.2609 0.04954 115 90 20 5
1665 Your use of prehistoric profiling offends me. 1.2609 0.05106 115 91 18 6
1666 I don’t think he’s happy with the ending 1.2609 0.04954 115 90 20 5
1667 I am tired of being demonized in literature! 1.2609 0.05106 115 91 18 6
1668 I'm surprised they allow critics in. 1.2609 0.04204 115 93 17 5
1669 So, what makes you think you can write authoritatively on the Jurassic Period? 1.2609 0.05106 115 91 18 6
1670 Your book got me out of the dark ages and into the light. 1.2609 0.05253 115 92 16 7
1671 I'm first. I'm extinct. And I'm hungry. So tell me again why you can't bother singing me the 'Barney' song? 1.2609 0.05253 115 92 16 7
1672 While I respect your work, I take exception to calling it historical "fantasy". 1.2609 0.04636 115 88 24 3
1673 Your book left me breathless which put my fire out. What do I do now? 1.2609 0.05106 115 91 18 6
1674 You call that fantasy? I’d call it tragedy. 1.2609 0.04797 115 89 22 4
1675 The ending is a meteor-induced apocalypse, really? It’s 2020, get more creative. 1.2609 0.04954 115 90 20 5
1676 I have no intention of reading it. 1.2609 0.04954 115 90 20 5
1677 Oh, meet with 2 e's, that's changes things 1.2609 0.03723 115 93 18 4
1678 Just admit it, Nancy: You based Kevin the Revenge Lizard on me. 1.2609 0.04636 115 88 24 3
1679 Your ‘Theory and Practice of Visualization’ brought me back to life 1.2609 0.05396 115 93 14 8
1680 This author attracts even the oldest of fans. 1.2609 0.04797 115 89 22 4
1681 So... you sent that asteroid” 1.2609 0.05536 115 94 12 9
1682 I’ve had it with these posthumous unauthorized biographies. 1.2609 0.04954 115 90 20 5
1683 I'm a dinosaur? You're the one who's still writing boy-meets-girl romances set in exotic foreign locations. 1.2604 0.05589 96 76 15 5
1684 Just sign it: "To my best Imaginary Friend." 1.2600 0.05617 100 80 14 6
1685 Just awaiting the interpreter. 1.2600 0.04845 100 76 22 2
1686 Giraffic Park? 1.2600 0.05049 100 77 20 3
1687 I’m sorry you think my portrayal stereotypical but I assure you I did deep research 1.2600 0.04740 100 78 19 3
1688 I've been waiting since the dawn of time! 1.2600 0.05245 100 78 18 4
1689 I respect your research on this book but King George was vastly overrated here 1.2600 0.05245 100 78 18 4
1690 You said you wouldn't quote me. 1.2600 0.05435 100 79 16 5
1691 I mean, your chapter on Lazarus taxa just really made me feel SEEN, you know? 1.2600 0.05435 100 79 16 5
1692 Admit it Susan. Jurassic Park: The Series was my idea! 1.2600 0.05049 100 77 20 3
1693 Don’t they serve snacks at these things? 1.2596 0.05112 104 81 19 4
1694 Sorry, it just didn't live up to Jurassic Park. 1.2589 0.04528 112 85 25 2
1695 No, I said Roger THE Saurus... 1.2589 0.05033 112 88 19 5
1696 Could I have 6 copies? There is lots to chew on in there. 1.2589 0.05033 112 88 19 5
1697 Your sign has a typo" 1.2589 0.05343 112 90 15 7
1698 I think it's time for my lunch break. 1.2589 0.05343 112 90 15 7
1699 Sequels diminish us all. 1.2589 0.05033 112 88 19 5
1700 I couldn't really sink my teeth into this one. 1.2589 0.04871 112 87 21 4
1701 I dressed like my favorite character in the book. 1.2589 0.05190 112 89 17 6
1702 Can you autograph it to Fred? 1.2586 0.05066 116 92 18 6
1703 I found your treatment of the fossil record a bit pedestrian 1.2571 0.05246 105 83 17 5
1704 I take offense with the book's premise that dinosaurs are violent reptiles. Are you sure that you aren't the book's author? It is after 2pm. 1.2566 0.05149 113 90 17 6
1705 Yes, it's an old story. 1.2566 0.05149 113 90 17 6
1706 I've been dying to meet you since the last glacial period! 1.2566 0.05591 113 93 11 9
1707 No, it wasn't the asteroids, it was revisionists like you! 1.2566 0.04993 113 89 19 5
1708 I’m sick of being portrayed as the villain! 1.2566 0.04666 113 87 23 3
1709 Oh...”meet”. That’s my bad. 1.2566 0.05301 113 91 15 7
1710 Point of view, my ass! I'm talking about characterization!" 1.2566 0.04993 113 89 19 5
1711 Chapter Two hurt. Not all of us breathe fire, you know... 1.2566 0.04833 113 88 21 4
1712 Could we maybe share a coffee and discuss your use of the word "extinct?" 1.2566 0.04833 113 88 21 4
1713 She wrote about her demons. This one wants a cut. 1.2566 0.04750 113 90 18 5
1714 Sorry sir; it's 1:59 now and although I understand the gravity of your situation, you still have to wait. 1.2566 0.04494 113 86 25 2
1715 I hope you're not in as bad taste as your novel. 1.2566 0.05448 113 92 13 8
1716 But maybe he's not REALLY slayed-- he survives and reappears in the sequel and destroys the whole town. 1.2566 0.04993 113 89 19 5
1717 I'm very disappointed that this wasn't Eat the Author. 1.2566 0.05301 113 91 15 7
1718 Slaying dragons? Really? Not the best title. 1.2566 0.05730 113 94 9 10
1719 Inscribe it, "To Rex". 1.2566 0.05301 113 91 15 7
1720 "I'm such a dinosaur when it comes to technology, I had to tell you in person how much I hated your book." 1.2566 0.05448 113 92 13 8
1721 Meet. Melt. Not much difference, in my book. 1.2566 0.04833 113 88 21 4
1722 So you see dragons as characters. 1.2566 0.04666 113 87 23 3
1723 No, the ”Eat and greet” starts at 4 PM. 1.2566 0.04833 113 88 21 4
1724 Look, I’ve been in line for hours, way past my lunch time, how could I have known she was your agent? 1.2566 0.05149 113 90 17 6
1725 Normally, I’m outside, but the California weather is killing me. 1.2566 0.04314 113 85 27 1
1726 Hurry, I need these books signed before they become extinct. 1.2566 0.04833 113 88 21 4
1727 Have you seen anything that might make you think differently about writing non-fiction? 1.2566 0.05149 113 90 17 6
1728 I had to wait 65 million years for this? 1.2566 0.05301 113 91 15 7
1729 Well I was vegan ages before it caught on and I’m dying to try some new recipes! 1.2566 0.05301 113 91 15 7
1730 It’s well after 2 and you said T-Rump was going to be here! I want my MAGMA hat! 1.2566 0.05448 113 92 13 8
1731 This book just gets me, the monster was inside the whole time. 1.2566 0.05149 113 90 17 6
1732 I can't see my watch. Is it 2 P.M., yet? 1.2566 0.05301 113 91 15 7
1733 How about once not having the hero kill the dragon? 1.2551 0.05487 98 78 15 5
1734 If this is fantasy, then may I suggest you fantasize about a less predictable antagonist. 1.2551 0.04878 98 75 21 2
1735 I don't appreciate being pegged at 300 million years old. 1.2551 0.05487 98 78 15 5
1736 Your post-structuralist critique of the anti-hero's transcendental metalanguage DISGUSTS me, Rebecca. 1.2551 0.05487 98 78 15 5
1737 How dare you tell my story without asking! 1.2551 0.05292 98 77 17 4
1738 Funny meeting you here, Cleolinda. I didn’t know tell all books were your thing.. 1.2551 0.05089 98 76 19 3
1739 Critics say your novel is Paleozoic,but I have been there,man. 1.2549 0.04963 102 79 20 3
1740 Facebook said 'Eat The Author'. 1.2549 0.05340 102 81 16 5
1741 First me meet, and then me eat. 1.2545 0.05236 110 88 16 6
1742 YOU’RE the acclaimed expert on the Jurassic Period — you have to be kidding. 1.2545 0.05236 110 88 16 6
1743 Just say “To my Biggest fan” 1.2545 0.05393 110 89 14 7
1744 My brain’s the size of a WHAT?!! 1.2545 0.05074 110 87 18 5
1745 How can you capitalize on our struggle? 1.2545 0.05546 110 90 12 8
1746 We both know what really happened. 1.2544 0.04955 114 90 19 5
1747 You won’t believe how long I’ve been waiting for your next book. 1.2544 0.04631 114 88 23 3
1748 Who are you calling Figment? 1.2544 0.05109 114 91 17 6
1749 I am your oldest fan. 1.2544 0.05109 114 91 17 6
1750 Can you make it out to "Daenerys"? It's a Mother's Day gift. 1.2544 0.04795 114 89 21 4
1751 only in New York baby 1.2544 0.05404 114 93 13 8
1752 2020 is scarier than the Mesozoic era. Please send me back. 1.2544 0.04795 114 89 21 4
1753 Chapter four, line 10 ' His breath smelled like kerosene dumped into an open sewer.' 1.2526 0.05177 95 74 18 3
1754 Why did you pick me to be your villain? 1.2526 0.05389 95 75 16 4
1755 Do I look as if I got slayed? 1.2526 0.05593 95 76 14 5
1756 I know I’m only the ghostwriter but did you really need to make me wait in line? 1.2526 0.05177 95 74 18 3
1757 Meet? I thought it said eat! 1.2526 0.05790 95 77 12 6
1758 I have been listening to you and I was wondering how much you know about us.... Would you have time for a drink afterwards.... 1.2526 0.05593 95 76 14 5
1759 Damn you! I didn't eat Tokyo, I love Tokyo! 1.2526 0.05389 95 75 16 4
1760 You promised me a trip to the sea in return for my side of the story! 1.2526 0.05389 95 75 16 4
1761 We all like natural history, but the chapter on the asteroid was way exaggerated. 1.2526 0.05593 95 76 14 5
1762 You're being offensive to the unicorns. 1.2526 0.05980 95 78 10 7
1763 I’d like to talk to you about the ending of your last novel. Wasn’t it a bit dramatic to write us off? 1.2526 0.05177 95 74 18 3
1764 You know, it’d be nice to play the hero every once and a while! 1.2525 0.05044 99 77 19 3
1765 I'm so sorry but EAT the author was yesterday. 1.2525 0.05245 99 78 17 4
1766 I thought I killed you! 1.2525 0.05624 99 80 13 6
1767 I recommend you spell my name correctly. 1.2525 0.05044 99 77 19 3
1768 Who are you to say dinosaurs are passe? 1.2525 0.04836 99 76 21 2
1769 You mis-spelled my name in chapter 7." 1.2525 0.05044 99 77 19 3
1770 Make it out to Godzilla and can you also write something nice about my movies 1.2525 0.05044 99 77 19 3
1771 Just inscribe it to Dino.” 1.2525 0.05438 99 79 15 5
1772 HE BETTER LIKE MY BOOK!! 1.2525 0.05624 99 80 13 6
1773 You're really bad at adjectives. 1.2525 0.05245 99 78 17 4
1774 He cut in front of you; assert your rights. 1.2525 0.05624 99 80 13 6
1775 Extinct? What am I, chopped brontosaurus burger?! 1.2525 0.05624 99 80 13 6
1776 I'd like to respectfully disagree with your characterization of dragons in Chapter Four. 1.2525 0.05438 99 79 15 5
1777 Shouldn't have let those kids go into that treehouse after dark. 1.2525 0.05438 99 79 15 5
1778 Do you think we'll actually get a turn? 1.2525 0.05624 99 80 13 6
1779 We no longer accept endings that arrive suddenly out of the blue. 1.2525 0.05438 99 79 15 5
1780 people say we look alike 1.2525 0.05804 99 81 11 7
1781 I mean are you even an archeologist? #Facts 1.2525 0.05438 99 79 15 5
1782 When I promised to unleash the beast within, this isn't what I had in mind. 1.2525 0.04728 99 78 18 3
1783 You promised not to reveal my identity! 1.2525 0.05245 99 78 17 4
1784 You write people so deliciously. 1.2523 0.04985 107 84 19 4
1785 First hand account my ass! 1.2523 0.05327 107 86 15 6
1786 My arms are too short. How does it end? 1.2523 0.05490 107 87 13 7
1787 Apologies, I didn't see the 'M'. 1.2523 0.04618 107 82 23 2
1788 You couldn't have written me with longer arms? I can't even read a book about myself. 1.2523 0.04985 107 84 19 4
1789 I would eat you but my arms aren't long enough to grab you. 1.2523 0.04985 107 84 19 4
1790 THE BIBLICAL THEORY OF CREATION MAY NOT BE COMPLETELY ACCURATE, YOUR EMINENCE. 1.2523 0.05159 107 85 17 5
1791 Most respectfully Jeffrey YOU are a figment of MY imagination 1.2523 0.05159 107 85 17 5
1792 I'm here to protest against your portrayal of me as a monster.... 1.2523 0.05159 107 85 17 5
1793 WHO'S THE TROLL NOW? 1.2523 0.05159 107 85 17 5
1794 Next time, you'll be the ghostwriter. 1.2523 0.04985 107 84 19 4
1795 I'm here to help with the book singeing. 1.2523 0.05159 107 85 17 5
1796 I thought I was in line for a free sample of plexaderm. 1.2523 0.05490 107 87 13 7
1797 Fictional? Do I look fictional to you? 1.2523 0.05159 107 85 17 5
1798 They tell me a signed copy of a book tastes better. 1.2523 0.04985 107 84 19 4
1799 Do you take American Express? 1.2523 0.05159 107 85 17 5
1800 I've come to clear up a few misconceptions 1.2523 0.04805 107 83 21 3
1801 And what is your opinion on punctuated equilibrium? 1.2523 0.05159 107 85 17 5
1802 OMG I've been waiting 65 million years for this opportunity! 1.2523 0.05327 107 86 15 6
1803 I did not jump the line. 1.2523 0.04985 107 84 19 4
1804 And exactly why wasn’t I not mentioned in the acknowledgement s? 1.2523 0.04805 107 83 21 3
1805 you call it fantasy fiction; I call it cultural appropriation 1.2523 0.05159 107 85 17 5
1806 If you write another book on this subject, would you please be less patronizing. 1.2523 0.05490 107 87 13 7
1807 Just what didn’t you understand about “off the record?” 1.2523 0.04618 107 82 23 2
1808 I'm a big fan. I don't read, but I ate your book and it was delicious. 1.2523 0.04805 107 83 21 3
1809 Well hellooo, Denise... 1.2523 0.05327 107 86 15 6
1810 Are you going to buy a book? 1.2523 0.05244 107 88 12 7
1811 You all need to stand six feet apart, and put on your masks! 1.2523 0.04985 107 84 19 4
1812 Why must I pay for a book I'm in? Just sign it! 1.2523 0.04805 107 83 21 3
1813 Joyce, i can't believe my name is suspiciously absent from your dedication. 1.2523 0.05159 107 85 17 5
1814 Your book is now non-fiction. 1.2523 0.05327 107 86 15 6
1815 Sign it "To Bronte, I'm sorry I thought you were extinct." 1.2523 0.05648 107 88 11 8
1816 My brother couldn't make it today - could you make it out to Kremlock, The 7th Harbinger of Man’s Futility? 1.2523 0.05159 107 85 17 5
1817 I think you’re overstating the effects of climate change. 1.2523 0.04805 107 83 21 3
1818 What do you mean you won’t take a selfie with me? 1.2523 0.04985 107 84 19 4
1819 Deborah, I thought we agreed to never dig up the past! 1.2523 0.05159 107 85 17 5
1820 Feathers? 1.2523 0.05159 107 85 17 5
1821 Who will be sitting on the Iron Throne in Season 9? 1.2523 0.04985 107 84 19 4
1822 She didn't tell his side of the story. 1.2523 0.05194 111 89 16 6
1823 Since when you were an expert on how to train dragons? 1.2523 0.05034 111 88 18 5
1824 You got my family history all wrong, lady! 1.2523 0.05349 111 90 14 7
1825 Steal my plot, did ya? Call for security, like they can make me leave? 1.2523 0.05500 111 91 12 8
1826 Hi J.K. Remember me? Sam? I have a beef with how you portrayed me in the Triwizard Tournament. 1.2523 0.04868 111 87 20 4
1827 I don't suppose you have a copy of Fly Fishing, by J.R. Hartley ? 1.2523 0.05647 111 92 10 9
1828 I guess hard cover books really are for dinosaurs now. 1.2523 0.05034 111 88 18 5
1829 I really am your biggest fan. 1.2523 0.05034 111 88 18 5
1830 A bit primitive, and I wasn't a fan of the twist ending. 1.2523 0.04334 111 84 26 1
1831 The part of about the swamp creature eating the heroine was really dumb! 1.2523 0.05194 111 89 16 6
1832 Meet the author? I thought it was EAT the author. 1.2523 0.05349 111 90 14 7
1833 No thanks. I already know how it ends.” 1.2523 0.05194 111 89 16 6
1834 Reports of my demise have been greatly exaggerated. 1.2523 0.04868 111 87 20 4
1835 Sorry, no selfies.” 1.2523 0.05034 111 88 18 5
1836 Could you at least name the asteroid after me? 1.2523 0.05500 111 91 12 8
1837 It was me you rode in those dreams, JK. I’m coming after you for half the royalties. 1.2523 0.04868 111 87 20 4
1838 It's 'meet', not 'eat' the author. 1.2523 0.04868 111 87 20 4
1839 Reading is for dinosaurs. 1.2523 0.05194 111 89 16 6
1840 Can you make it out to Steg A. Saurus? I'm a huge fan of your work. 1.2523 0.04868 111 87 20 4
1841 You’re not David Sedaris! 1.2523 0.05349 111 90 14 7
1842 It looks like you have been waiting a long time for this book. 1.2523 0.04868 111 87 20 4
1843 I thought writing this good was extinct 1.2523 0.04697 111 86 22 3
1844 You deliberately misrepresented Keynesian economics. 1.2523 0.05194 111 89 16 6
1845 I just have to say, your book's ending hit me like a meteor. 1.2523 0.05034 111 88 18 5
1846 Last T. Rex Standing. I'm shopping it around. What do you think? 1.2523 0.05349 111 90 14 7
1847 When do We get a happy ending? 1.2523 0.04868 111 87 20 4
1848 I'd like 4 signed copies for my pals at Jurassic Park. 1.2523 0.05194 111 89 16 6
1849 EXTINCT! Who's extinct? 1.2523 0.04868 111 87 20 4
1850 I know it’s a children’s book, but Goshzilla, really!?! And dammit, I don’t stroll, I rampage. Oh, make it out to Steve. 1.2523 0.04868 111 87 20 4
1851 Apparently, he thought it was about "Reptile Dysfunction." 1.2523 0.05194 111 89 16 6
1852 I found my portrayal to be most undignified 1.2523 0.04868 111 87 20 4
1853 Why do you write all your men as monsters? 1.2523 0.04697 111 86 22 3
1854 I am an author, too. I specialize in prehistoric fiction. 1.2523 0.04697 111 86 22 3
1855 You promised you would not put me in your next novel! 1.2523 0.04519 111 85 24 2
1856 You can write: "To my biggest fan. I'm so glad to see you're not extinct." 1.2523 0.04868 111 87 20 4
1857 Good night, Little Dinosaur" is my hatchling's favorite book 1.2523 0.04868 111 87 20 4
1858 Yes sir, you'd get your chance to tell him what really happened but being around for the last 62 million years does not give you a right to cut in front the line. 1.2523 0.05500 111 91 12 8
1859 I'm sure my twitter feed said "eat the author" 1.2523 0.05034 111 88 18 5
1860 Was this a homework assignment? 1.2523 0.04609 111 88 19 4
1861 Let me spell that Huehuecanaumtlus tiquichensis 1.2523 0.05349 111 90 14 7
1862 He has been on the line for ages. 1.2523 0.04868 111 87 20 4
1863 What time should I come back for "Eat the Author"? 1.2523 0.05194 111 89 16 6
1864 You promised that my friends and family wouldn't recognize it as me." 1.2523 0.05194 111 89 16 6
1865 Silly mistake! The author of “extinction” will come at 3pm. I’m just the shop assistant. 1.2523 0.05194 111 89 16 6
1866 I waited this long, I can wait till 2 1.2523 0.05034 111 88 18 5
1867 I can’t believe I thought this thing started earlier. Story of my life. 1.2523 0.05034 111 88 18 5
1868 I’m about to jump across that table and show you just how not extinct we are! 1.2523 0.05034 111 88 18 5
1869 I can't tell you how long I've waited for this. 1.2523 0.05034 111 88 18 5
1870 You aren’t wearing a mask! 1.2523 0.05194 111 89 16 6
1871 Then suddenly, Phyllis realized that rapturous night in La Brea wasn’t just a molly evoked fantasy that cured her writer’s block. 1.2523 0.04868 111 87 20 4
1872 You promised you'd make me the protagonist in this sequel. 1.2523 0.05194 111 89 16 6
1873 Yes, 'bookworm', is a bit misleading.... 1.2523 0.05194 111 89 16 6
1874 Don't tell me, you're my biggest and oldest fan. 1.2500 0.04660 112 87 22 3
1875 I don’t WANT your signature! I want food... for thought... 1.2500 0.04830 112 88 20 4
1876 So you wrote a book about us being 'extinct'? We are not 'over'. My culture is not your costume. 1.2500 0.05283 108 87 15 6
1877 3D movies have gotten pretty advanced. 1.2500 0.05601 112 93 10 9
1878 Frankly, it's embarrassing that I have to come to a book signing and then BUY a copy of the book just to have a conversation with my wife. 1.2500 0.05320 116 95 13 8
1879 I don’t want an autograph, I want an apology!” 1.2500 0.04994 112 89 18 5
1880 I’m also following your Hunter-Gatherer diet...nice to “eat” you. 1.2500 0.05389 100 80 15 5
1881 I guess my portrayal of you as a "mindless,savage carnivore with no regard for life as we know it" was a bit much 1.2500 0.04660 112 87 22 3
1882 Make it out to Puff? Tell me, do you live by the sea? 1.2500 0.05306 112 91 14 7
1883 Geez, all I said was "I'm so glad bookstores aren't extinct". 1.2500 0.04484 112 86 24 2
1884 How many more Paleo Diet Cookbooks are you going to write? 1.2500 0.04660 112 87 22 3
1885 Hath not a dragon eyes? 1.2500 0.05283 108 87 15 6
1886 I've been your biggest fan for 65 million years. 1.2500 0.04660 112 87 22 3
1887 The author began to question her editor's title decision: T-Rex, the Most Hyped Dinosaur Ever to Walk the Planet and also He Was a Big Jerk So Who Cares 1.2500 0.04994 112 89 18 5
1888 Yea I know he cut in line. Just let it go, I said just let it go!! 1.2500 0.04994 112 89 18 5
1889 Oops, sorry I didn’t see the M. 1.2500 0.04994 112 89 18 5
1890 You didn't have my permission to publish my autobiography with your name on it. 1.2500 0.04994 112 89 18 5
1891 Does your book claim we became extinct because we couldn't comprehend social distancing? 1.2500 0.05306 112 91 14 7
1892 I don’t care who you are. No signings until 2:00. 1.2500 0.05306 112 91 14 7
1893 Well, now you know it’s non-fiction. 1.2500 0.04994 112 89 18 5
1894 My arms are too short to turn the pages. 1.2500 0.04994 112 89 18 5
1895 How dare you write that trash about me? 1.2500 0.05455 112 92 12 8
1896 It read more like "Jurassic Snark" to me! 1.2500 0.04994 112 89 18 5
1897 But I clearly heard him say, 'Come eat the author.' 1.2500 0.04660 112 87 22 3
1898 No one is buying that 'helpless damsel' narrative anymore. 1.2500 0.04484 112 86 24 2
1899 We find the term “lizard people” offensive. 1.2500 0.04830 112 88 20 4
1900 You told me I'd survive the final adventure. Hissssssss. 1.2500 0.05152 112 90 16 6
1901 Take back what you wrote about me or else... 1.2500 0.04994 112 89 18 5
1902 Oh, I thought this was an “eat the author” session. 1.2500 0.04484 112 86 24 2
1903 I've waited epochs to meet you! 1.2500 0.05152 112 90 16 6
1904 Why, oh, why did you have to kill me in the end ? 1.2500 0.04994 112 89 18 5
1905 We need to talk about species appropriation. 1.2500 0.04994 112 89 18 5
1906 No autograph, thank you. I’ll eat it here. 1.2500 0.04994 112 89 18 5
1907 Are you quite sure of the ending? 1.2500 0.05306 112 91 14 7
1908 Sign it "To Smaug; his breath on my neck really lights me up..." 1.2500 0.04301 112 85 26 1
1909 Don't include me in your next novel. 1.2500 0.04484 112 86 24 2
1910 You did a pretty good job, don't feel bad; the members of my writing group have a lot of trouble creating sympathetic human characters. 1.2500 0.04484 112 86 24 2
1911 Can you sign it with "Dragon lives matter"? 1.2500 0.04830 112 88 20 4
1912 For personal reasons I was wondering if you see this work as literary or historical fiction 1.2500 0.04830 112 88 20 4
1913 Becoming a bird is only one of your limitless number of futures. 1.2500 0.05306 112 91 14 7
1914 I’m your biggest fantod 1.2500 0.04830 112 88 20 4
1915 Please write,"To Godzilla from your secret admirer at Book Club." 1.2500 0.05306 112 91 14 7
1916 I’ve waited years to meet you. 1.2500 0.04301 112 90 18 4
1917 Comet shmomet. 1.2500 0.04994 112 89 18 5
1918 It's not every day you meet a dinosaur that loves to read romance novels! " 1.2500 0.04830 112 88 20 4
1919 most of my friends are dead, but not all of them 1.2500 0.04994 112 89 18 5
1920 Damn! I swear NPR said “Eat the Author”! 1.2500 0.04830 112 88 20 4
1921 Your not what I thought you'd look like either. 1.2500 0.04994 112 89 18 5
1922 I'm really not here for an autograph, just the meat... 1.2500 0.05455 112 92 12 8
1923 Oh - I thought they said eat the author. 1.2500 0.05306 112 91 14 7
1924 Maybe in your next novel, we can be portrayed as a romantic lead. 1.2500 0.04660 112 87 22 3
1925 Taking "There be dragons" off your endpaper map was hurtful - and way off the mark 1.2500 0.04830 112 88 20 4
1926 Damsel in distress expose my ass, you wanted to be with me 1.2500 0.05152 112 90 16 6
1927 Don't even think about meeting your knight in shining armour this afternoon. 1.2500 0.04830 112 88 20 4
1928 Sure, you changed my name, but 'Elizabeth' is hardly subtle. 1.2500 0.04830 112 88 20 4
1929 But the book reviewer said you were a dinosaur. 1.2500 0.04994 112 89 18 5
1930 Who’s thats scumbag of a biped you call “tiny hands” in your book? We’re not damn related! 1.2500 0.04994 112 89 18 5
1931 I thought your depiction of human-eating monsters was a touch derivative. 1.2500 0.04830 112 88 20 4
1932 I told you in confidence. Now everybody knows I have little hands! 1.2500 0.04994 112 89 18 5
1933 Can someone hand me the goddamn pen?! 1.2500 0.04994 112 89 18 5
1934 Your books always portray the dragons as villain stereotype, Stop it 1.2500 0.04830 112 88 20 4
1935 I have some issues with the climax of the book. It says, we were more dangerous than 2020 and its a blatant lie" 1.2500 0.05152 112 90 16 6
1936 Why didn’t Diana and Gerhard get back together in the end?!? It was heartbreaking. Simply heartbreaking. 1.2500 0.04994 112 89 18 5
1937 The story you wrote about life 66 million years ago is my story to tell, not yours Betty. 1.2500 0.04660 112 87 22 3
1938 I didn't think your representation of the agrarian lifestyle during the jurassic period was very realistic 1.2500 0.04830 112 88 20 4
1939 Head of the line. I was here long before them. 1.2500 0.04660 112 87 22 3
1940 Why do you writers always side with Saint George?! 1.2500 0.04660 112 87 22 3
1941 Sorry to bother you for another copy, but my son ate the last one. 1.2477 0.05074 109 87 17 5
1942 I’m sorry lady but all dinosaurs are NOT extinct. 1.2477 0.05074 109 87 17 5
1943 Oh, I heard “EAT the author” 1.2477 0.05239 109 88 15 6
1944 This was supposed to be a love story! 1.2477 0.04904 109 86 19 4
1945 Could you sign one to "Saury"? 1.2477 0.05157 109 90 12 7
1946 Who you calling a dinosaur, huh? 1.2477 0.05074 109 86 17 5
1947 Are you kidding me? The "M" was hardly visible from the back of the line. 1.2477 0.04904 109 85 19 4
1948 My bad, I don’t have my glasses - I thought it said “eat” 1.2477 0.05239 109 87 15 6
1949 You promised I couldn't be identified, you promised. 1.2477 0.04728 109 85 21 3
1950 So, I see, you don’t believe in the theory of evolution. 1.2477 0.04990 109 89 14 6
1951 He wants to be included in the movie rights. 1.2477 0.04904 109 86 19 4
1952 I hate to be cold-blooded, but I thought the plot to your new novel was derivative. 1.2477 0.05074 109 87 17 5
1953 I never want to offend my readers, but your views are from a different time. 1.2477 0.04728 109 85 21 3
1954 The love scenes removed all doubt. You were writing about us, Ethel -- us! 1.2477 0.05074 109 87 17 5
1955 I can't believe you killed off Brittany right when they were going to propose to Tom! 1.2477 0.05239 109 88 15 6
1956 You created me for your book and you expect me to PAY for a copy? 1.2477 0.05239 109 88 15 6
1957 I’m just saying, it could be called nonfiction. 1.2477 0.04904 109 86 19 4
1958 Any good reason why you haven't put me in the story? 1.2477 0.04904 109 85 19 4
1959 Mr. Madasoreous, please understand I'm the author not the illustrator. 1.2477 0.04728 109 84 21 3
1960 I really love your fantasy books. They feel so REAL to me. 1.2477 0.04728 109 85 21 3
1961 You told me that ... Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events would be purely coincidental. 1.2477 0.04904 109 86 19 4
1962 You're so creative. I'm just wondering where you get your ideas. 1.2477 0.05074 109 86 17 5
1963 'Meet?' I could've sworn the sign outside said 'eat' the author. 1.2477 0.04904 109 86 19 4
1964 Just once I'd like to see us written as the good guy. 1.2477 0.04544 109 83 23 2
1965 Keep your opinions about big feet and short arms to yourself. 1.2477 0.05074 109 87 17 5
1966 Your sense of nuance really spoke to me, right before I accidentally breathed on the page and incinerated the book. 1.2477 0.04354 109 83 25 1
1967 No need to apologize. I get that all the time 1.2477 0.05239 109 87 15 6
1968 I could spit fire when I read what that book says about me! 1.2477 0.04904 109 86 19 4
1969 How can you write all that about me and still just sit there, Mom? 1.2477 0.05074 109 86 17 5
1970 Oh, meet! 1.2477 0.05239 109 88 15 6
1971 I left my book at home in Jurassic Park, so can I still get an autograph? 1.2477 0.05239 109 88 15 6
1972 Um, to Kong...with love, Zilla. 1.2477 0.05074 109 87 17 5
1973 Sorry, my mistake. I thought it said "Eat the Author." 1.2477 0.05074 109 87 17 5
1974 Why am I described as mesozoic? I thought we agreed on heroic! 1.2477 0.05399 109 89 13 7
1975 You have no idea how tired I am of books about knights in shining armor. 1.2477 0.04904 109 86 19 4
1976 Where's the line for Eat the Author? 1.2477 0.05239 109 88 15 6
1977 No, I can't pass you the pen. 1.2477 0.04354 109 82 25 1
1978 To me, your representations of carnivores lack depth. 1.2477 0.05239 109 87 15 6
1979 I told you all those things in confidence, as a friend, Cheryl. 1.2477 0.04904 109 85 19 4
1980 I downplayed the danger of your fire breathing as to not panic the reader. 1.2477 0.05239 109 88 15 6
1981 I can't read. Do you have an audio book version? 1.2477 0.05074 109 87 17 5
1982 Could you make a copy out to " Tyrant Lizard King"? It's for a ..uhh...friend. 1.2477 0.04904 109 86 19 4
1983 I think your rendering of the Late Triassic dinosaurs was on point. Sign my tail? 1.2477 0.04904 109 86 19 4
1984 No, no. It says "MEET the author," not "EAT the author." 1.2477 0.05074 109 86 17 5
1985 I'm bettin' his species hasn't evolved to reading 'm's' 1.2477 0.04728 109 85 21 3
1986 He loves her books, but he doesn't know how to say it. 1.2477 0.04544 109 84 23 2
1987 I have some issues with your book, "How All The Dinosaurs Died." 1.2477 0.04728 109 85 21 3
1988 He's definitely a critic! 1.2477 0.04904 109 86 19 4
1989 What we had was private. You’ll be hearing from my lawyer. 1.2477 0.04904 109 85 19 4
1990 And I just love when your reptilian heroine saves humanity. 1.2477 0.04544 109 84 23 2
1991 The knight started it and I'm suing for libel. 1.2477 0.04904 109 86 19 4
1992 Miss A. Elk did not properly anticipate the blowback from her sequel. 1.2477 0.05399 109 89 13 7
1993 ...For Lunch - Ha Ha Ha! 1.2477 0.05074 109 86 17 5
1994 I’m sorry you’re upset, but the sign clearly says “meet the author,” not “eat the author.” 1.2477 0.04544 109 88 15 5
1995 You better not take four books to introduce my character 1.2477 0.04904 109 86 19 4
1996 Thank you for signing my book! I love every word of it. Could you make it out to Thesaurus? 1.2477 0.05399 109 89 13 7
1997 I only wanted to say you depiction of dragons is anachronistic and cliche 1.2477 0.04544 109 83 23 2
1998 Yes, you can address the inscrition to The-saurus, thanks. 1.2476 0.05203 105 84 16 5
1999 No, it doesn't say eat the author. 1.2476 0.04838 105 82 20 3
2000 Meet the antagonist. 1.2476 0.04444 105 80 24 1
2001 Call my agent and I'll write you into the sequel next year. 1.2476 0.04838 105 82 20 3
2002 I've got a bone to pick with him! 1.2476 0.05024 105 83 18 4
2003 Dammit Sheila, people will figure out that I'm D-anon... 1.2476 0.05203 105 84 16 5
2004 Mermaids, mermaids, mermaids! We demand diversity! 1.2476 0.05376 105 85 14 6
2005 Another poorly researched Puff piece 1.2476 0.05024 105 83 18 4
2006 Sorry, I thought you wrote about a thesaurus. 1.2476 0.05024 105 83 18 4
2007 If you don’t change the title of your “Jurassic Pork” cookbook, I’ll change your sign to “Meat, The Author!” 1.2476 0.05024 105 83 18 4
2008 I will sue you for the cultural appropriation of our dinosaurs' traditions in your childish books 1.2476 0.05376 105 85 14 6
2009 So am I a figment of your imagination now? 1.2476 0.05203 105 84 16 5
2010 How dare you write that we didn’t exist! 1.2476 0.05707 105 87 10 8
2011 All I'm saying is when you use terminology like extinct, it's triggering. 1.2476 0.05544 105 86 12 7
2012 I read your book. Please tell me more about the myth of the dragon. 1.2476 0.05544 105 86 12 7
2013 I did not give you the right to publish my story! 1.2476 0.05024 105 83 18 4
2014 In chapter 2, one was eating an author not an accountant! 1.2474 0.05290 97 77 16 4
2015 2:01 PM - Eat the author. 1.2474 0.05083 97 76 18 3
2016 Yes, these are for me. Are you implying I’m too old for YA books? 1.2474 0.05490 97 78 14 5
2017 I loved your book. I ate it with some fava beans and a nice Chianti. 1.2474 0.05490 97 78 14 5
2018 I've been waiting a long time for the sequel. 1.2474 0.05290 97 77 16 4
2019 I was Donald's high school prom date and boy do I have stories to tell 1.2474 0.05490 97 78 14 5
2020 I have a bone to pick with you. I am a vegetarian not a carnivore. 1.2474 0.05083 97 76 18 3
2021 Do you think he realizes the difference between Meet and Eat? 1.2474 0.05682 97 79 12 6
2022 Is “Eat the Author” still scheduled for 3 P.M.? 1.2474 0.05490 97 78 14 5
2023 I thought we agreed I wouldn’t get slayed this time, Karen. 1.2474 0.05290 97 77 16 4
2024 You fucking cunt! 1.2474 0.06048 97 81 8 8
2025 Could you sign mine, T. REX" 1.2474 0.05083 97 76 18 3
2026 I thought I was the one living in a cave until I read your tweets. 1.2474 0.05083 97 76 18 3
2027 No, I don't want a signed copy. I told you these things in confidence, Sheryl! 1.2474 0.05490 97 78 14 5
2028 I thought it said Arthur 1.2474 0.05682 97 79 12 6
2029 Oh, I'm sorry. I thought it was EAT the author at 2 p.m. 1.2474 0.05490 97 78 14 5
2030 Karen can turn into a real monster when she wants to talk to a manager badly enough. 1.2474 0.05490 97 78 14 5
2031 You need to change that ending ! 1.2474 0.05868 97 80 10 7
2032 It feels like I’ve been waiting here since the Mesozoic era. 1.2474 0.05290 97 77 16 4
2033 My lawyers told me not to meet you till court day, but how dare you sit here and sign my story? 1.2474 0.05290 97 77 16 4
2034 To be honest, I found the plot unrealistic 1.2474 0.05290 97 77 16 4
2035 You know the author's bad when the line's as short as my arms! 1.2473 0.05439 93 74 15 4
2036 Not all dragons love tacos! 1.2473 0.05650 93 75 13 5
2037 I didn't mean to make this a negative history about you all. 1.2473 0.05853 93 76 11 6
2038 Your book's description of my death were greatly exaggerated. 1.2473 0.06049 93 77 9 7
2039 How come your dragons are always underwritten? 1.2473 0.04991 93 72 19 2
2040 How dare you write about a giant lizard? You don't have lived experience as a giant lizard. 1.2473 0.05220 93 73 17 3
2041 The giant reptile came out of nowhere, attacking with no real motivation, much like the villains in Tammy's novels. 1.2473 0.05439 93 74 15 4
2042 Wonderful read! The hero's life story is incredibly similar to mine. 1.2473 0.05439 93 74 15 4
2043 For all I care, you can take your book and the asteroid that comes with it and drop them both onto the Yucatan Peninsula! 1.2473 0.05853 93 76 11 6
2044 The way the hero slays the dragon offends me 1.2473 0.06049 93 77 9 7
2045 Strings and ceiling wax?! I want royalties lady!! 1.2473 0.05439 93 74 15 4
2046 I thought the sign said, ‘Eat the author at 2’ 1.2472 0.05367 89 70 16 3
2047 Im pretty sure the brochure said "eat the author" 1.2453 0.04982 106 84 18 4
2048 Please sign, 'an old flame to another.’ 1.2453 0.05496 106 87 12 7
2049 She wrote him as a Megalosaur but he's a vegan. 1.2453 0.04798 106 83 20 3
2050 Well, I think the portrayal definitely plays into dinosaur stereotyping! 1.2453 0.04607 106 82 22 2
2051 Sorry, the data just doesn't support your recollection of the Cretaceous-Tertiary extinction event. 1.2453 0.05159 106 85 16 5
2052 Your portrayal of dragons is misinformed, misguided and miscdraconic. You WILL be hearing from my solicitor. 1.2453 0.05657 106 88 10 8
2053 For MY cookbook idea, all the different animals taste like human. 1.2453 0.05330 106 86 14 6
2054 Thank you, it started when I dressed as Harry Potter to meet J.K. Rowling. 1.2453 0.04982 106 84 18 4
2055 Says he fact-checked her book.... 1.2453 0.04982 106 84 18 4
2056 Excuse me, ma'am. You're in my chair. 1.2453 0.04982 106 84 18 4
2057 You culturally appropriated my story, lady. I want residuals. 1.2453 0.04982 106 84 18 4
2058 Hey! You aren't George R. R. Martin! Mom and Dad, you lied. 1.2453 0.05814 106 89 8 9
2059 Megafan! Just had to eat you--sorry-- greet you in person! 1.2453 0.03865 106 86 17 3
2060 When I read your book, it was the first time I really felt seen. 1.2453 0.05496 106 87 12 7
2061 No feathers on this body, honey, I'm all reptilian. 1.2453 0.05159 106 85 16 5
2062 Meet? I thought it was eat the author! 1.2453 0.05496 106 87 12 7
2063 Can you sign my copy "To my favorite mammal"? Ahhh.....It's for a friend. 1.2453 0.04798 106 83 20 3
2064 Do you have anything on meteors? 1.2453 0.05159 106 85 16 5
2065 I thought your treatment of the protagonist was very shallow. 1.2453 0.05159 106 85 16 5
2066 Just wanted to clear up that myth in your book about us being extinct 1.2453 0.04607 106 82 22 2
2067 I liked the ending but the middle dragged on. 1.2453 0.04607 106 82 22 2
2068 I never said any of that stuff about my mother. 1.2453 0.04982 106 84 18 4
2069 Oh, it's not for me. Make it out to Ty Rex, please. 1.2453 0.04982 106 84 18 4
2070 On page 39 you have put it in quotes,but I never said that. 1.2453 0.04798 106 83 20 3
2071 You misquoted me in your book! 1.2453 0.04703 106 85 17 4
2072 Please sign it, "To Puff, the literate dragon." 1.2453 0.05330 106 86 14 6
2073 I thought it said "Meat - the Author" 1.2453 0.04982 106 84 18 4
2074 Enough fluff. I just want something I can sink my teeth into. 1.2453 0.04798 106 83 20 3
2075 I thought your sign said meet the others. 1.2453 0.05159 106 85 16 5
2076 I loved it, but the ending just slayed me. 1.2453 0.04982 106 84 18 4
2077 She won't sign it, he burned through her last three. 1.2453 0.05159 106 85 16 5
2078 Why didn't you name it THE DRAGON and Tommy? 1.2453 0.05496 106 87 12 7
2079 And, when exactly will the dinosaur villain trope end in this series? 1.2453 0.05159 106 85 16 5
2080 Read it again. It says, 'MEET the author.' 1.2453 0.05159 106 85 16 5
2081 You think you’re so advanced just because your fingers reach the keyboard! 1.2453 0.05159 106 85 16 5
2082 Look, just like her bestsellers her fans too are timeless. 1.2453 0.05159 106 85 16 5
2083 You probably don't remember me, but we met in Ibiza last year. 1.2453 0.04982 106 84 18 4
2084 It's 2PM. I'm here to eat the author. 1.2453 0.05496 106 87 12 7
2085 I don’t have all day. 1.2453 0.04798 106 83 20 3
2086 I trusted you. How could you write those terrible things? This is not just a simple "bad dragon gone terrible" story. This is about ME. 1.2453 0.05330 106 86 14 6
2087 Honestly, you portrayed me as kind of an asshole and that’s not cool 1.2453 0.05496 106 87 12 7
2088 What happened in Jurassic Park should have stayed in Jurassic Park! 1.2453 0.04982 106 84 18 4
2089 What do you know about post-apocalyptic fiction? 1.2453 0.04798 106 83 20 3
2090 Carole, you portrayed me as a monster. 1.2453 0.05496 106 87 12 7
2091 Actually, could you please make it out to my son? 1.2430 0.04940 107 85 18 4
2092 Seems like an age has passed since we got in line. 1.2430 0.04940 107 85 18 4
2093 In book 7, Xelro mates with Kizanyr the Winged Death. The sex is, uh, not realistic. And sort of offensive? But I realize it must be hard for you to research this kind of thing. So, I’m in a dragons-only polycule in Bushwick, and we’re having a party 1.2430 0.05449 107 88 12 7
2094 You'll be hearing from us on Twitter. 1.2430 0.05116 107 86 16 5
2095 These signings do drag-on 1.2430 0.04940 107 85 18 4
2096 New Trump tell-all reveals that generals privately believed he was a ten-foot tall dinosaur and a big stupid poopypants - Satire, from the Quill of Andy Borowitz, Esquire 1.2430 0.04940 107 85 18 4
2097 Make it out to ... oh, shoot! It’s Latin but I’m not evolved enough to spell it! 1.2430 0.04940 107 85 18 4
2098 You lied - I was the hero, you 2 timer! 1.2430 0.05116 107 86 16 5
2099 Please read the passage that soothes the savage beast. 1.2430 0.04569 107 83 22 2
2100 I'm sorry, but I was expecting Maurice Sendak. 1.2430 0.04759 107 84 20 3
2101 You fake news people lie that we were all killed off by some damn meteor. 1.2430 0.05449 107 88 12 7
2102 you know, right now, seeing you in this light, no, i wouldnt say you’re ugly 1.2430 0.04940 107 85 18 4
2103 That chapter about extinctions? Weak. I'm what you'd call an Asteroid Denier. 1.2430 0.05116 107 86 16 5
2104 „You‘re the one living in a fantasy world Judith, not me“ 1.2430 0.04759 107 84 20 3
2105 Don't you remember. Kong was the other guy. 1.2430 0.05116 107 86 16 5
2106 I don't know who your sources are, Lady, but i am _not_ a herbivore. 1.2430 0.04940 107 85 18 4
2107 Did you really have to mention that I am a dinosaur?? 1.2430 0.04759 107 84 20 3
2108 I really identified with your fire breathing protagonist. 1.2427 0.05426 103 84 13 6
2109 Do I look extinct to you, Ms. Know-It-All? 1.2427 0.05063 103 82 17 4
2110 Her stories came to life like never before, unfortunately he couldn't reach her. 1.2427 0.05063 103 82 17 4
2111 You’re doing physical book signings, and I’m the dinosaur. 1.2427 0.05248 103 83 15 5
2112 Oh, I heard, “EAT’ the author! My bad. 1.2427 0.04672 103 80 21 2
2113 Forget it. I’m out of time already. 1.2427 0.05426 103 84 13 6
2114 Hello, this is the man inside the dinosaur talking. Do you know where the bathroom is? 1.2427 0.05248 103 83 15 5
2115 Sign em' or I'll eat you. 1.2421 0.05542 95 77 13 5
2116 I'm a big fan. Your books are delicious. 1.2421 0.04899 95 74 19 2
2117 I told you a lot of that stuff OFF the record! 1.2421 0.05933 95 79 9 7
2118 I’m sorry if you’re no longer my muse, but Dungeons and Dragon’s just weren’t selling. 1.2421 0.05741 95 78 11 6
2119 Make it out to Rawr, Grrr, Argh, Rah, and Ohhh! 1.2421 0.05337 95 76 15 4
2120 I told you about my childhood in the strictest of confidence 1.2421 0.04899 95 74 19 2
2121 I have a bone to pick with you about the way dinosaurs are depicted in your book - we do read, but not your books anymore. 1.2421 0.05337 95 76 15 4
2122 Would you inscribe: 'Sorry Rex, Jane Goodall had a relationship with gorillas that I failed to develop with dinosaurs.' 1.2421 0.05337 95 76 15 4
2123 Why do dragons always have to be the bad guys? We have feelings too. 1.2421 0.05337 95 76 15 4
2124 Is Godzilla with one "L" or two? 1.2421 0.05337 95 76 15 4
2125 Extinct? Really? 1.2421 0.05741 95 78 11 6
2126 Wow. The Cats & Jammers are back. 1.2421 0.05337 95 76 15 4
2127 Extinct?!! I'll show you extinct! 1.2421 0.05542 95 77 13 5
2128 Sorry, but that book signing is in the basement - my book's about African Violets. 1.2421 0.05741 95 78 11 6
2129 I hear the author is meat at 2:00 p.m. 1.2421 0.05542 95 77 13 5
2130 You were supposed to turn me into a frog... 1.2421 0.05337 95 76 15 4
2131 I came because I heard it as "eat" the author. 1.2421 0.05933 95 79 9 7
2132 I devoured every word of it. Do you have anything to say about that? 1.2421 0.05122 95 75 17 3
2133 Did you really think saying that this book is not based on real life events would keep people from tweeting mean things about me? 1.2421 0.05122 95 75 17 3
2134 My error. I thought it said EAT the author at 2 p.m. 1.2421 0.05741 95 78 11 6
2135 I've been waiting centuries to meet you. 1.2421 0.05542 95 77 13 5
2136 What exactly did you say about me? 1.2421 0.05741 95 78 11 6
2137 Write something funny. 1.2421 0.05337 95 76 15 4
2138 Do we live happily ever after in this one? 1.2421 0.05122 95 75 17 3
2139 Mr. Trump was not happy either. It is what it is. 1.2421 0.05542 95 77 13 5
2140 Hey, you're not Dinah Shore"..... 1.2421 0.05542 95 77 13 5
2141 I could relate to your main character's ability to ravage small towns. 1.2421 0.05122 95 75 17 3
2142 How could you write me out in Chapter V? 1.2421 0.05337 95 76 15 4
2143 I really dig your books! You're my favorite archaeologist! 1.2421 0.05542 95 77 13 5
2144 After reading this book, I wish I had gone extinct sooner. 1.2421 0.05337 95 76 15 4
2145 Wanda, I've read the title page. You promised me co-authorship. My name isn't there, Wanda. Is there something you'd like to tell me? 1.2421 0.05542 95 77 13 5
2146 The reports of my death are greatly exaggerated. What's your excuse? 1.2421 0.04899 95 74 19 2
2147 I see we are back to the creationism vs evolution debate 1.2421 0.05542 95 77 13 5
2148 So where is meat the author ? 1.2421 0.05542 95 77 13 5
2149 Going my way? 1.2421 0.05542 95 77 13 5
2150 Oh I’m sorry, I thought the sign said “eat the author”. 1.2421 0.04899 95 74 19 2
2151 Oh, sorry! I thought this was one of those 'Eat the Author' events. 1.2421 0.05337 95 76 15 4
2152 I don’t think he liked her take on creationism 1.2421 0.05542 95 77 13 5
2153 I totally object to your casual demonization of monsters! 1.2421 0.05122 95 75 17 3
2154 Could you make it to "The former Prince of Sussex?" 1.2421 0.05933 95 79 9 7
2155 News Flash! We’re not extinct. 1.2421 0.04899 95 74 19 2
2156 Well I'm very sorry that your friends Mothra, Rodan, Destoroyah, and King Ghidorah don't want their copies. No refunds. 1.2421 0.05337 95 76 15 4
2157 may i question your extinction theory? 1.2421 0.05542 95 77 13 5
2158 You mean to tell me you’re not Sandy Boynton, the author of Dinosaur Dance? 1.2421 0.05122 95 75 17 3
2159 Yeah you can make it out to my friend Pete. P, as in Pterodactyl. 1.2421 0.05933 95 79 9 7
2160 A brutal death, again, Susan? God damn! 1.2421 0.05337 95 76 15 4
2161 You ruined my ending 1.2421 0.05741 95 78 11 6
2162 Some of us dinosaurs still appreciate the feel of turning a page 1.2421 0.04899 95 74 19 2
2163 Don't worry, I'm a vegan. 1.2421 0.04899 95 74 19 2
2164 This wild thing is still waiting on her royalties. 1.2414 0.05414 87 69 15 3
2165 Despite her spin off success, she quickly learned not all dinosaurs can be trained. 1.2407 0.05403 108 89 12 7
2166 You can't intimidate me Mr. President! They call me "the Notorious," and I'm Brooklyn tough. 1.2404 0.05550 104 86 11 7
2167 I heard that book publishing is a dinosaur medium, and wanted to find out what all the fuss is about. 1.2404 0.04830 104 82 19 3
2168 I said I hated working with Jeff Goldblum, I never said I wanna bite his head off." 1.2404 0.05020 104 83 17 4
2169 Fiction or not, it's defamation of character. 1.2404 0.05379 104 85 13 6
2170 Apparently he's upset about the reference to the president as a 'dinosaur'! 1.2404 0.04830 104 82 19 3
2171 I wanted to meet my creator. 1.2404 0.04830 104 82 19 3
2172 I used to be out-of-print, too. 1.2404 0.05020 104 83 17 4
2173 And on page 78, you have me saying ‘ROAR’ when I distinctly said ‘RAWR’! 1.2404 0.05715 104 87 9 8
2174 You misspelled 'eat'. 1.2404 0.05379 104 85 13 6
2175 These family tell-all books really bring out the crazy uncles. 1.2404 0.04531 104 83 18 3
2176 You’re Meat, the author, right? 1.2404 0.05550 104 86 11 7
2177 You probably think you're too classy to appear at comic-con. 1.2404 0.04830 104 82 19 3
2178 Not enough dragons. 1.2404 0.05202 104 84 15 5
2179 As a survivor, I want to thank you for doing Chicxulub justice. 1.2404 0.05379 104 85 13 6
2180 I'd like you to inscribe it to my mother. 1.2404 0.05020 104 83 17 4
2181 I’m still here. 1.2404 0.05202 104 84 15 5
2182 I simply devoured your first novel. 1.2404 0.05020 104 83 17 4
2183 I know, I’m early. 1.2404 0.05020 104 83 17 4
2184 I've waited for eons to get to the front of the line and now you're telling me it's the wrong line!? 1.2404 0.05550 104 86 11 7
2185 Could you sign it to my brother Rex? 1.2404 0.05020 104 83 17 4
2186 I hope he didn't think it was a meet and eat. 1.2404 0.05202 104 84 15 5
2187 Just loved the part when the professor puts the goat in the cage. 1.2404 0.05202 104 84 15 5
2188 I have just been re discovered in a cave and I am here to tell you there are errors in your book 1.2404 0.05379 104 85 13 6
2189 Why is everything in past tense? 1.2404 0.04633 104 81 21 2
2190 I'm thinking this thing has a bone to pick with the author. 1.2404 0.05202 104 84 15 5
2191 If you write a political tell-all, you gotta factor in the Administration's response. 1.2404 0.05202 104 84 15 5
2192 Can you believe how long I've been waiting? 1.2404 0.05020 104 83 17 4
2193 Thank you for exposing Mr. Trump. My friends need to read this. 1.2404 0.05202 104 84 15 5
2194 The Philosoraptor disagreed with her argument for intelligent design. 1.2404 0.05020 104 83 17 4
2195 You know I can’t push the books closer to you 1.2404 0.05020 104 83 17 4
2196 I have been waiting 65 million years for this! 1.2404 0.05020 104 83 17 4
2197 I don't know what his issue is, but outside he was so mad he was breathing fire. 1.2404 0.05202 104 84 15 5
2198 Any resemblance is purely coincidental? 1.2404 0.05379 104 85 13 6
2199 Please make that out 'To Rex' 1.2404 0.05379 104 85 13 6
2200 Oh sorry. I thought the sign outside said "Eat the Author". 1.2404 0.04830 104 82 19 3
2201 I thought you might like to have a drink with me later. 1.2404 0.05379 104 85 13 6
2202 Don't worry. She wrote 'Aunt Dimity Slays the Dragon.' 1.2404 0.05715 104 87 9 8
2203 Let's discuss Chapter 3. 1.2404 0.05202 104 84 15 5
2204 I didn't give you a release to use my picture in your book! I was living a very nice extinct life and you ruined it! I'm gonna sue! 1.2404 0.05020 104 83 17 4
2205 Yes, we attend signings, not just burnings. 1.2404 0.05202 104 84 15 5
2206 Oh. I thought they said it was an "Eat the Author" event! 1.2404 0.05379 104 85 13 6
2207 And you said you’d never tell. 1.2404 0.05379 104 85 13 6
2208 The promo encouraged folks from the Jurassic Period, not the Late Jurassic Period. 1.2404 0.04926 104 85 14 5
2209 I could've sworn my invite said, 'eat' the author. 1.2404 0.04830 104 82 19 3
2210 Puff, on the verge of a, "Boy Named Sue," moment. 1.2404 0.05550 104 86 11 7
2211 I''m outraged by you cultural appropriation. 1.2404 0.05020 104 83 17 4
2212 I found the ending far too fantastical. 1.2404 0.05202 104 84 15 5
2213 Receipt? You really need to see my receipt? You sure about that? 1.2404 0.05020 104 83 17 4
2214 I’ve been, like, waiting for a selfie for like, 65 billion years 1.2404 0.05876 104 88 7 9
2215 A real page turner"? Certainly not for the brachially challenged 1.2404 0.05202 104 84 15 5
2216 I loved your first book, but this one tasted terrible! 1.2404 0.05379 104 85 13 6
2217 Why would they want to meet you; am I not the main character? 1.2404 0.04830 104 82 19 3
2218 And “murderous teeth”? You try breaking out of that lab with these arms! 1.2404 0.05202 104 84 15 5
2219 I said Michele, with one L! 1.2404 0.05202 104 84 15 5
2220 I hope you have one hell of a lawyer. 1.2404 0.05202 104 84 15 5
2221 Grrrr. I thought it was going to be Meat, the author. 1.2404 0.05202 104 84 15 5
2222 I’ve been waiting 243 million years for this exact moment. 1.2404 0.05020 104 83 17 4
2223 We loved your last cookbook, 'Meg's Meals of the Mesozoic' 1.2404 0.05379 104 85 13 6
2224 I feel that I was unfairly represented in your book 1.2404 0.05379 104 85 13 6
2225 Your novel was wonderful, however I found the irony in chapter six difficult to digest 1.2404 0.05020 104 83 17 4
2226 I’m looking for a book on Climate Change 1.2404 0.04633 104 81 21 2
2227 I'm here to pick up some copies for The Creation Museum. 1.2404 0.05202 104 84 15 5
2228 If you thought what I said for your book was so bad or dangerous, why didn’t you just immediately report it? 1.2404 0.05550 104 86 11 7
2229 You say these books are Fantasy but I think we both know that's not true, Joyce." 1.2400 0.05341 100 81 14 5
2230 Could you try writing a book where I''m not slain 1.2400 0.05527 100 82 12 6
2231 Your book - 'The Extinction Conspiracy' .It spoke to me. 1.2400 0.05341 100 81 14 5
2232 Charlotte hoped the sewer monster had not recognized himself as the antagonist in chapter seven. 1.2400 0.05527 100 82 12 6
2233 ...and I’m supposed to believe that your antagonist, a self-destructive monster with anger issues named ‘Zilla,’ was just a figment of your imagination? We dated for four and a half years, Diane! You owe me a few basic courtesies! 1.2400 0.05527 100 82 12 6
2234 Why would you end the series with Bella and Edward together?! Jacob treats her so much better! 1.2400 0.04948 100 79 18 3
2235 It'll be like Beauty and the Beast, you said. You'll get the girl in the end, you said. 1.2400 0.05527 100 82 12 6
2236 When I read to my kids I need a fire resistant book. You didn’t think to make any? None? 1.2400 0.05341 100 81 14 5
2237 Pretty sure she won't enforce the one-book limit. 1.2400 0.04948 100 79 18 3
2238 So, you called me extinct! Do I look extinct? 1.2400 0.05148 100 80 16 4
2239 Then where is the line to eat the author? 1.2400 0.05148 100 80 16 4
2240 In the future, I'll try not to describe my books as "easy to pick up and hard to put down." 1.2400 0.05148 100 80 16 4
2241 No, this is not the signing for Jurassic Park. 1.2400 0.05881 100 84 8 8
2242 You've heard of tyrannosaurus? Brontosaurus? So why can't you sign "For Thesaurus"? 1.2400 0.05341 100 81 14 5
2243 No, sorry, I'm Michelle Crichton. 1.2400 0.04948 100 79 18 3
2244 FYI, I’m sweet and loving. 1.2400 0.05341 100 81 14 5
2245 Sure hope he had lunch. 1.2400 0.05148 100 80 16 4
2246 Who are you calling extinct? 1.2400 0.05148 100 80 16 4
2247 I'll tell you whose unfit to level Tokyo, that overrated King Kong and lying Mothra, that's who. 1.2400 0.05527 100 82 12 6
2248 But did you have to portray me as such a monster? 1.2400 0.05707 100 83 10 7
2249 Please sign it "affectionately." It's for my children 1.2400 0.04522 100 77 22 1
2250 My mother always told me that I should never burn any bridges. 1.2400 0.04948 100 79 18 3
2251 How come the humans got to live, but the dragons didn't?! 1.2400 0.05148 100 80 16 4
2252 I did not know how to tell you so that you would believe that we are not extinct. 1.2400 0.05148 100 80 16 4
2253 I told you that nightmare in confidence! 1.2400 0.05341 100 81 14 5
2254 Norbert, I really can't compensate you for your role in the story, you'll have to talk to my attorney . . . 1.2400 0.05341 100 81 14 5
2255 I couldn't identify with the characters. 1.2400 0.05341 100 81 14 5
2256 Oh boy! Probably a climate change denier who is not too happy about her book on Trump's colorful relationship with truth. 1.2400 0.05527 100 82 12 6
2257 Oh, so you write ‘fiction’ now? Well, it was REAL to me, Janice! 1.2400 0.04948 100 79 18 3
2258 Hi Godzilla, long time no see. 1.2400 0.05148 100 80 16 4
2259 What about our NDA? 1.2400 0.05148 100 80 16 4
2260 We're not all extinct, you know. 1.2400 0.05341 100 81 14 5
2261 About the use of the meteor strike to kill off your character Rex... 1.2400 0.05527 100 82 12 6
2262 Don’t you think that age is only a number? 1.2400 0.04948 100 79 18 3
2263 Sign it to Roget Thesaurus. 1.2400 0.05341 100 81 14 5
2264 Jane Rowling was a bit shocked when the main character of her new novel suddenly appeared at the reading and claimed the violation of his personal rights. 1.2400 0.05341 100 81 14 5
2265 you made me a “fictional” character 1.2400 0.05527 100 82 12 6
2266 Sorry, the David Attenborough signing was moved to the 5th 1.2400 0.04740 100 78 20 2
2267 Were you just going to wait for us all to disappear? 1.2400 0.05341 100 81 14 5
2268 Can you tell me where to find books on global warming? 1.2381 0.05253 84 66 16 2
2269 My bad. I thought it said Eat the Author at 2pm. 1.2376 0.04905 101 80 18 3
2270 Your latest work, “Thesaurus”, was extremely disappointing! 1.2376 0.05655 101 84 10 7
2271 There was no happy ending for the author; at precisely 2:01, the fire alarms went off. 1.2376 0.05477 101 83 12 6
2272 My bad. I thought the announcement said "eat the author." 1.2366 0.05383 93 75 14 4
2273 But I’m telling you, ma’am, that I am the author speaking at today’s meeting. See—I’ve brought autographed copies of my book to sell. 1.2366 0.05596 93 76 12 5
2274 Fiction my ASS! 1.2366 0.05596 93 76 12 5
2275 The term is homophone, but I will gladly sign a copy of my vegetarian cookbook for you. 1.2366 0.05596 93 76 12 5
2276 Monster meets his Maker 1.2366 0.05383 93 75 14 4
2277 What. Have. You. Done,with my people? 1.2366 0.05383 93 75 14 4
2278 I didn't authorize you to write my bio! You'll be hearing from my lawyer! 1.2366 0.05596 93 76 12 5
2279 You got my ancestors all wrong. 1.2366 0.05383 93 75 14 4
2280 Uh, I mistakenly heard that it was “Eat the author at 2pm.” 1.2366 0.05999 93 78 8 7
2281 Please sign it 'To Dino, my biggest fan.' 1.2366 0.04930 93 73 18 2
2282 We are often misunderstood. 1.2366 0.05596 93 76 12 5
2283 Dyslectic Dragon! 1.2366 0.05801 93 77 10 6
2284 How dare you call that other guy King of the Beasts! 1.2366 0.05162 93 74 16 3
2285 I really don't like the way you portrayed my kind in Chapter 3" 1.2366 0.05383 93 75 14 4
2286 No, I didn't use your proper name in the story...so you are safe. 1.2366 0.05383 93 75 14 4
2287 I've traveled through time to fix your book. 1.2366 0.05383 93 75 14 4
2288 Dam! I heard it was EAT THE AUTHOR! 1.2366 0.05801 93 77 10 6
2289 "Well, I'm not surprised. The reviews said that it would have wide appeal 1.2366 0.05162 93 74 16 3
2290 Yes, I understand that you're marketing this as "high fantasy", but the fact is, we still signed a non-disclosure agreement. 1.2366 0.05383 93 75 14 4
2291 You're lucky stegosaurus is the bad guy this time! 1.2366 0.05596 93 76 12 5
2292 Adored it, but the critics will eat you alive. 1.2366 0.05383 93 75 14 4
2293 How dare you intimate that I am an extinct monster?! 1.2366 0.05999 93 78 8 7
2294 My character is purple and sings happy songs with children; any resemblance to other theropods, imaginary or hallucinated, is purely coincidental. 1.2366 0.05596 93 76 12 5
2295 Ickabog’s my name. Just wanted to say you’ll be hearing from my attorney. 1.2366 0.05162 93 74 16 3
2296 'Reptilian' you wrote, do I look Reptilian to you? 1.2366 0.05162 93 74 16 3
2297 Evolution, seriously? 1.2366 0.05162 93 74 16 3
2298 You could at least made me more sympathetic in your book. 1.2366 0.05383 93 75 14 4
2299 Names, characters, places and incidents either are products of the author's imagination or are used fictitiously...” Really, Karen 1.2366 0.05596 93 76 12 5
2300 Her latest book did tend to dragon 1.2366 0.05383 93 75 14 4
2301 I have some problems with the statements you made about how Godzilla isn't a real dinosaur. 1.2366 0.05801 93 77 10 6
2302 What do you know about half breed representation? 1.2366 0.05801 93 77 10 6
2303 I'd like to know who vetted your research. 1.2353 0.05604 102 85 10 7
2304 This author is a lot older than she looks. 1.2353 0.05246 102 83 14 5
2305 I just wanna be loved by little children. 1.2353 0.05058 102 82 16 4
2306 Your "tell all" made me out to be a monster! 1.2353 0.04862 102 81 18 3
2307 I just had to meet the woman who peered into the depths of my soul and wrote my life ! 1.2353 0.04862 102 81 18 3
2308 The sign says "Meet the Author" not "Eat the Author" 1.2353 0.04862 102 81 18 3
2309 I'm a Bigfano'saurs. 1.2353 0.04658 102 80 20 2
2310 So Miss Fancy Paleontologist, what do you say now? 1.2353 0.05058 102 82 16 4
2311 When the characters come to life... 1.2353 0.05058 102 82 16 4
2312 But we are omnivores!! 1.2353 0.05428 102 84 12 6
2313 Happily ever after?! Says who? 1.2353 0.05246 102 83 14 5
2314 I heard it's a pretty juicy item 1.2353 0.05604 102 85 10 7
2315 I have a bone to pick with you about your depiction of me in the book! 1.2353 0.04862 102 81 18 3
2316 Who has a pea-sized brain! 1.2353 0.04862 102 81 18 3
2317 The Memoirist’s Mother at 1:59 PM 1.2353 0.05775 102 86 8 8
2318 I burned through your other books. 1.2353 0.05775 102 86 8 8
2319 How could you kill off Daenerys, I really related to that character. 1.2353 0.05058 102 82 16 4
2320 Next time, try writing about something you know something about! 1.2353 0.04658 102 80 20 2
2321 Just what makes you think you know enough about dinosaurs to write a book? 1.2353 0.05058 102 82 16 4
2322 Lies -- all lies -- Fake Book!! 1.2353 0.05058 102 82 16 4
2323 I spilled my guts to you for that book! If I don’t get comped, this’ll be EAT THE AUTHOR day. 1.2353 0.05246 102 83 14 5
2324 I was writing about amphibians, not reptiles. 1.2353 0.04862 102 81 18 3
2325 I thought your book tasted really good. 1.2353 0.05246 102 83 14 5
2326 Your book is full of mammoth lies". 1.2353 0.05058 102 82 16 4
2327 I’m sorry sir, the eat-and-greet was at noon 1.2353 0.05058 102 82 16 4
2328 I demand to know why fire-breathing reptiles are always the villains in your books. 1.2353 0.05428 102 84 12 6
2329 As your muse I demand compensation. 1.2353 0.05058 102 82 16 4
2330 Do you have any idea how long I have been waiting to meet you? 1.2353 0.05428 102 84 12 6
2331 Oh, you're already having a greet-and-meet but haven't paid me for using me as a character? 1.2353 0.05058 102 82 16 4
2332 Every dog has its day 1.2353 0.05604 102 85 10 7
2333 I didnt like the way you described me as reptilian 1.2353 0.05058 102 82 16 4
2334 No, what’s tremendous is the way you convey angst. 1.2353 0.04658 102 80 20 2
2335 Has it got a fairytale ending? 1.2353 0.05246 102 83 14 5
2336 I think I’ve been waiting long enough! 1.2347 0.05190 98 79 15 4
2337 New Yorker cartoonists can only draw one woman. 1.2347 0.05389 98 80 13 5
2338 You won’t believe how far I came for you to sign these. 1.2347 0.04767 98 77 19 2
2339 David, we really have to stop meeting like this. 1.2347 0.04983 98 78 17 3
2340 Yeah, well, they used to say the author was dead, too. And yet, here we are. 1.2347 0.04983 98 78 17 3
2341 I don’t have opposable thumbs, so when is the e-Book? 1.2347 0.05580 98 81 11 6
2342 Okay, so maybe we're cold-blooded as a species, it doesn't mean I can't appreciate a good romance novel." 1.2347 0.05190 98 79 15 4
2343 You'll hear from my lawyers... 1.2347 0.04983 98 78 17 3
2344 You took as lot of liberties with my species inner feelings 1.2347 0.05389 98 80 13 5
2345 Your "Shorthand Style Guide" did not deliver. 1.2347 0.05580 98 81 11 6
2346 As a proud Draco-American, I find it racially insensitive to be constantly referred to as "mythical." 1.2347 0.05389 98 80 13 5
2347 Dragon fire, what kind of title is that? 1.2347 0.05190 98 79 15 4
2348 How Alice Peabody, author of The Unauthorized Biography of Godzilla, met her demise. 1.2347 0.05766 98 82 9 7
2349 Assuming there’s anyone to meet when we get up there. 1.2347 0.05389 98 80 13 5
2350 Let's just say that I have questions concerning how Mr Paper portraited me even if he used the pseudonym Puff. 1.2347 0.05766 98 82 9 7
2351 It's a Thesaurus? 1.2347 0.04767 98 77 19 2
2352 A Thesaurus rex, I'll bet. 1.2347 0.05190 98 79 15 4
2353 Oh, isn’t that funny. On the radio, I thought they said ‘Meat, the author.’ 1.2347 0.06120 98 84 5 9
2354 Yeah? Well I got my own theory on asteroids 1.2347 0.04983 98 78 17 3
2355 Okay, so you're not extinct, and I do apologize for saying that you have a tiny brain. 1.2347 0.04983 98 78 17 3
2356 You portray me as a complete predator in your book, and I am very offended. 1.2347 0.05580 98 81 11 6
2357 The whole chapter on climate change kind of freaked me out. 1.2347 0.04983 98 78 17 3
2358 And you call your self a paleontologist. We may not be able to hug but at least we didn't cause climate change. 1.2347 0.04983 98 78 17 3
2359 Evolving a Better You" had me all excited at first 1.2347 0.05190 98 79 15 4
2360 and just why did you write Dragonslayer? 1.2347 0.04983 98 78 17 3
2361 Carol, I deserve better dialogue and character development. And frankly, how about I get the damsel to make it more interesting? 1.2347 0.04767 98 77 19 2
2362 Sorry, but Stephen King will be at tomorrow's Meet the Author. 1.2347 0.04983 98 78 17 3
2363 I can't wait for the damned sequel, what happens after the meteorite hits earth? 1.2347 0.05389 98 80 13 5
2364 Breathing is a normal function for dragons, but you made it seem disgusting 1.2347 0.05190 98 79 15 4
2365 I've got a fossilized bone to pick with you! 1.2347 0.05190 98 79 15 4
2366 Tell him we were here before 1.2347 0.04983 98 78 17 3
2367 Do you write from experience or is it all just imagination? 1.2347 0.04541 98 76 21 1
2368 Now..let’s speak about that spell on page 332... 1.2347 0.04983 98 78 17 3
2369 , “ your book is not too sympathetic for a character that literally has fire coming out of his mouth; that’s a serious condition!” 1.2347 0.05389 98 80 13 5
2370 I'm sorry, I thought the invitation was to "Eat the Author." Jackson Gillman, Onset MA 1.2323 0.04938 99 79 17 3
2371 Fiction section? Think again! 1.2323 0.04938 99 79 17 3
2372 My publisher said I had to chose between keeping the dragon or the troll under the bridge. It's not personal, Mark. 1.2323 0.04938 99 79 17 3
2373 Sincere apology then...the timeline for the extinction of the dinosaurs was just an estimate. 1.2323 0.05142 99 80 15 4
2374 Beats me. I thought it was an allegory. 1.2323 0.05712 99 83 9 7
2375 I feel that Draco is a misunderstood character... 1.2323 0.04938 99 79 17 3
2376 You're great at endings but the middles tend to drag on. 1.2323 0.05529 99 82 11 6
2377 I'm a huge fantasy. 1.2323 0.05142 99 80 15 4
2378 Who let the Rex out? Who? Who? Who? 1.2323 0.05142 99 80 15 4
2379 I don’t think she considered that writing about a knight who slays a dragon might trigger some of her readers. 1.2323 0.05142 99 80 15 4
2380 Assuming I wouldn't enjoy your romance novel is a bit derogative, don't you think? I'm a dragon, not a monster. 1.2323 0.04725 99 83 11 5
2381 It was a dark and stormy knight. 1.2323 0.05339 99 81 13 5
2382 Books are dinosaurs but good luck. 1.2323 0.04938 99 79 17 3
2383 On behalf of your fans from 100 million years ago, we are just devastated that you killed off Stephanie and Derek. 1.2323 0.05529 99 82 11 6
2384 Credit-stealer! 1.2323 0.06062 99 85 5 9
2385 Darlene, you promised I'd be unrecognizable! 1.2323 0.05142 99 80 15 4
2386 What do you mean the book cannot be in the current affairs section anymore? 1.2323 0.05142 99 80 15 4
2387 It’s like you were really there, ya know? 1.2323 0.04501 99 77 21 1
2388 Oh he “Slayed” me? Come on, it’s 2020. 1.2323 0.05339 99 81 13 5
2389 I’m not really happy with your portrayal of me as terrifying monster, hellbent on destroying the world. I’m a dentist for crying out loud. 1.2323 0.05529 99 82 11 6
2390 I shouldn't have gotten in line so early. 1.2323 0.05529 99 82 11 6
2391 Finally, someone who understands the world of print publishing 1.2317 0.06328 82 69 7 6
2392 Your last book about dungeons seemed to be missing something. 1.2300 0.05096 100 81 15 4
2393 I'm here for the book burning 1.2300 0.05478 100 83 11 6
2394 You wanna explain Cancel Culture? Where do I begin? 1.2300 0.05478 100 83 11 6
2395 I'm sorry you don't like how I portrayed your side of the story, but I'm sticking with what I said. 1.2300 0.05478 100 83 11 6
2396 I promise, in the sequel, you will be portrayed as the savior. 1.2300 0.05291 100 82 13 5
2397 plagiarist! 1.2300 0.05478 100 83 11 6
2398 You don’t recognize me from Game of Thrones?! 1.2300 0.05660 100 84 9 7
2399 Oh, my mistake. I thought it said EAT the author. 1.2292 0.05635 96 80 10 6
2400 Well, Dino, you may be obsolete, but books never will be! 1.2292 0.05635 96 80 10 6
2401 I didn't mean to offend you in the book. Yes, of course, I can give you a 20% discount today! 1.2292 0.05635 96 80 10 6
2402 I’m your biggest fan. Literally. 1.2292 0.05017 96 77 16 3
2403 Gladys, how could you? 1.2268 0.05182 97 79 14 4
2404 Sorry. People tell me I have a 'Resting Bitch Face'. 1.2268 0.05182 97 79 14 4
2405 You don't know how long I waited to meet you. 1.2268 0.04971 97 78 16 3
2406 I told you that in confidence Patrice! 1.2268 0.05182 97 79 14 4
2407 Your work’s really good for getting my teeth into. 1.2268 0.05582 97 81 10 6
2408 Can you sign it “To Rex?” 1.2268 0.05386 97 80 12 5
2409 You better get your facts straight before your next book on extinction. 1.2268 0.05582 97 81 10 6
2410 Please tell me I won't have to wait another 150 Million years for the sequel. 1.2268 0.04971 97 78 16 3
2411 On line invitation said “Eat the Author” 1.2268 0.04274 97 80 14 3
2412 ‘Short-armed vulgarian,’ my ass! 1.2268 0.05386 97 80 12 5
2413 I could swear I heard "Eat the author." 1.2268 0.05386 97 80 12 5
2414 I can't read, but you do look tasty. 1.2268 0.04518 97 76 20 1
2415 I found your book difficult to read, mostly because I couldn't hold it high enough to see the words. 1.2268 0.04518 97 76 20 1
2416 You took me completely out of context. And you won't like me when I'm angry. 1.2268 0.04750 97 77 18 2
2417 Meet? Meet! I was told it was 'Eat the Author". What a waste! I could have been sampling Open Mike at the Comedy Cellar. 1.2268 0.05771 97 82 8 7
2418 Don't worry. This won't take long. It's a vegetarian. 1.2268 0.04518 97 76 20 1
2419 He can't read, he thinks that its says eat the author 2 P.M. 1.2268 0.05582 97 81 10 6
2420 What happened to the all-animal band? 1.2268 0.05386 97 80 12 5
2421 No -- the book's called 'Sleighing for Dummies.' 1.2268 0.05582 97 81 10 6
2422 It doesn't have a book to sign. I think it has a quibble about the use of the word "prehistoric." 1.2268 0.05386 97 80 12 5
2423 I bought your first book Living in the Present. I want my money back. 1.2268 0.05182 97 79 14 4
2424 It didn't like the ending when the asteroid hits 1.2268 0.05386 97 80 12 5
2425 You're taking a break NOW? 1.2268 0.05182 97 79 14 4
2426 WHY NOT.....YOU dress up. 1.2268 0.04750 97 77 18 2
2427 You promised I'd remain an unnamed Saurus! 1.2268 0.04971 97 78 16 3
2428 You're right, it doesn't say "Eat"! 1.2268 0.04971 97 78 16 3
2429 All I'm saying is the posters for your Dragon Ball book launch are awfully misleading. 1.2268 0.05285 97 82 9 6
2430 I understand the premise of your book is that dinosaurs didn't exist. 1.2268 0.05954 97 83 6 8
2431 I find your portrayal of man-eating dragons to be totally insensitive. 1.2268 0.04750 97 77 18 2
2432 What do you mean, you don't sign E-books? This is the 21st Century, right? 1.2268 0.04971 97 78 16 3
2433 Well, well, Marcia, I guess we all knew this day would come. 1.2268 0.04971 97 78 16 3
2434 That character is not derivative! It's pure libel! 1.2268 0.05182 97 79 14 4
2435 You spelled my name wrong! 1.2268 0.05182 97 79 14 4
2436 I'm a big fan . I've eaten every one your books . 1.2268 0.05386 97 80 12 5
2437 So you think you know enough about dragons to write novels about them, do you? 1.2268 0.05771 97 82 8 7
2438 I’ve always wanted to eat the author. 1.2268 0.04971 97 78 16 3
2439 I thought this was EAT the author 1.2268 0.05582 97 81 10 6
2440 You misspelled my name. 1.2268 0.05386 97 80 12 5
2441 Extinct? 1.2268 0.04971 97 78 16 3
2442 Just when I was getting over our break-up, you had to write a tell-all book? 1.2268 0.04971 97 78 16 3
2443 She said you stole her idea from the 1970s. 1.2268 0.05182 97 79 14 4
2444 Actually I'm relieved. I hate to be the one to point out historical inaccuracies. 1.2268 0.05771 97 82 8 7
2445 I’m having trouble reading your book... 1.2268 0.05182 97 79 14 4
2446 You'll be hearing from my lawyers! 1.2268 0.05182 97 79 14 4
2447 My name is GODZILLA! You wrote about me but didn't use my name! 1.2268 0.04971 97 78 16 3
2448 Just once can’t the dragon be the hero of the story! 1.2268 0.04750 97 77 18 2
2449 Could you make it out to "My dear friend, Barney." 1.2268 0.04971 97 78 16 3
2450 I like your writing style, but feel cold-blooded killer was misleading. 1.2268 0.05182 97 79 14 4
2451 I love your Draconian writing. 1.2268 0.05285 97 82 9 6
2452 I'm your biggest fan, by far. 1.2268 0.05582 97 81 10 6
2453 Science fiction authors taste he best. 1.2268 0.05182 97 79 14 4
2454 Where's an asteroid when you need it? 1.2268 0.05582 97 81 10 6
2455 I’m reeeeeeealy hoping that’s a costume. 1.2268 0.05386 97 80 12 5
2456 Totally worth missing my lunch for this 1.2268 0.05182 97 79 14 4
2457 And all this time I thought it was “Eat the Author.” 1.2268 0.05386 97 80 12 5
2458 Sorry, thought this was the line to the restroom. 1.2268 0.05182 97 79 14 4
2459 I wish you had let it stay buried. 1.2268 0.05582 97 81 10 6
2460 I don't want a damn autograph—I want some recognition." 1.2268 0.05386 97 80 12 5
2461 You've spelt my name wrongly 1.2268 0.05582 97 81 10 6
2462 How did you come up with the big bang ending 1.2268 0.05386 97 80 12 5
2463 If I give you a copy of my memoir, would you pass it on to your agent? 1.2268 0.05182 97 79 14 4
2464 Just say, “To my mother, who I never call, but who I feel comfortable humiliating, in writing, to complete strangers in my new novel.” Something like that. 1.2268 0.04971 97 78 16 3
2465 I wish her fans would save the big productions for Comic-Con. 1.2268 0.05386 97 80 12 5
2466 Meet, eat...a natural mistake, right? 1.2268 0.04274 97 80 14 3
2467 I'm here for the meet and eat. 1.2268 0.05386 97 80 12 5
2468 Did you hire a single stegosaurus as a sensitivity reader? 1.2268 0.05582 97 81 10 6
2469 Wait... you’re not Dinha Shore. 1.2268 0.04750 97 77 18 2
2470 Dragon Lives Matter, George! 1.2268 0.04750 97 77 18 2
2471 Love your work, but disagree with the whole asteroid premise 1.2268 0.05386 97 80 12 5
2472 What do you mean,"homophone confusion?" 1.2268 0.05182 97 79 14 4
2473 Well you can tell Little Jackie Paper that Honalee is getting just a wee bit boring. 1.2268 0.05182 97 79 14 4
2474 You can't just rewrite history. 1.2268 0.04971 97 78 16 3
2475 Your use of a meteor strike is disrespectful. 1.2268 0.05582 97 81 10 6
2476 Just sign it "with love to my friend Rex". 1.2268 0.04971 97 78 16 3
2477 Sylvia's embarrassment turned to fear as she realized they had met previously. 1.2268 0.05182 97 79 14 4
2478 And your ending, with the asteroids, I never saw it coming. 1.2268 0.04971 97 78 16 3
2479 I'm a VEGETARIAN! How dare you call me a "pea-brained killing monster". 1.2268 0.05182 97 79 14 4
2480 Autograph, Shmautograph! You’re mémoire made me look like a monster! 1.2268 0.05386 97 80 12 5
2481 Do I sign it: To: Mr. Rex?, or is this a gift? 1.2268 0.05386 97 80 12 5
2482 You’re kind of a first, although there is an elephant in the room 1.2268 0.05386 97 80 12 5
2483 ‘Happily Ever After?’A bit cliché of an ending, if you don’t mind me saying so. Also, on page 77, you used a semicolon instead of... 1.2268 0.04274 97 80 14 3
2484 I'm more than just a plot device to advance the knight's story arc, you know. 1.2268 0.04971 97 78 16 3
2485 Are you sure this book will improve my relationships?" 1.2268 0.05182 97 79 14 4
2486 I wondered what you looked like 1.2268 0.05182 97 79 14 4
2487 Your representation of me is pre-historically inaccurate. 1.2268 0.04971 97 78 16 3
2488 No, Helen, YOU tell him he has to get back in line each time. 1.2268 0.05386 97 80 12 5
2489 I don't think he even read it 1.2268 0.05182 97 79 14 4
2490 Who farted? 1.2268 0.05386 97 80 12 5
2491 I though she was fair, but I can see how he'd be pissed. 1.2268 0.04750 97 77 18 2
2492 Do you think it was fair not to get my side of the story? 1.2268 0.05182 97 79 14 4
2493 I, er need this translated into ancient draconic-is that too much to ask? 1.2268 0.05386 97 80 12 5
2494 I self-published the same story long before you dug it up. 1.2268 0.05182 97 79 14 4
2495 So you really think I'm extinct? 1.2268 0.04750 97 77 18 2
2496 No sir, it says “meet.” With an “M”. 1.2268 0.05182 97 79 14 4
2497 Meet"! I thought they said "Eat" 1.2268 0.05182 97 79 14 4
2498 I can't tell you how long I've waited for this sequel. 1.2268 0.04971 97 78 16 3
2499 Not only is calling the killer "cold blooded" a cliche, it's taxonomic appropriation. 1.2268 0.05386 97 80 12 5
2500 Excuse me, I thought the sign said, “Eat the author 2 PM” 1.2268 0.05182 97 79 14 4
2501 I'll tear you to shreds--how dare you write about our wild fling! 1.2268 0.05386 97 80 12 5
2502 Have you ever considered fireproof paper? 1.2268 0.05386 97 80 12 5
2503 The impact of your Paleo diet book was bigger than I expected. 1.2268 0.05582 97 81 10 6
2504 You conveniently left out the part where Danny dumped me for another dinosaur. 1.2268 0.05386 97 80 12 5
2505 It's an excellent book; my complaint is with its misclassification as fiction. 1.2268 0.05386 97 80 12 5
2506 You got it all wrong. I'm related to birds, not lizards. 1.2268 0.04971 97 78 16 3
2507 I just devour everything. I can't get enough of you! 1.2268 0.05182 97 79 14 4
2508 Mary, why didn't you give me the editing credit you promised you would give me? 1.2268 0.05386 97 80 12 5
2509 I want a ten percent royalty. After all, I’m the inspiration for all your “Timmy and the Monster” books. 1.2268 0.04971 97 78 16 3
2510 Remember how you longed for the unpredictable excitement that would come with getting published? 1.2268 0.05386 97 80 12 5
2511 What were you implying with "Dinosaur eats man. Woman inherits the Earth"? 1.2268 0.05582 97 81 10 6
2512 Sign them all to me. I keep incinerating them when I sneeze 1.2268 0.05182 97 79 14 4
2513 This has tips on minimizing scales, right? 1.2268 0.04750 97 77 18 2
2514 It was supposed to be our private dragon fantasy. 1.2268 0.05386 97 80 12 5
2515 Can you make it out to 'hideous, bloodthirsty monster', please? 1.2268 0.05182 97 79 14 4
2516 I devoured your book. 1.2268 0.04971 97 78 16 3
2517 Enough with the cultural appropriation, J.K. It's not your tale to tell. 1.2268 0.05182 97 79 14 4
2518 I’ve a bone to pick with you, Bernice! 1.2268 0.04750 97 77 18 2
2519 If I could grip a pen, I’d be sitting there 1.2268 0.04971 97 78 16 3
2520 Have you even met one of us?! 1.2268 0.05386 97 80 12 5
2521 Not for the last time, Gina regrets not crediting her co-author, Xcthandala. 1.2268 0.05182 97 79 14 4
2522 I must say, I found your focus on ‘the beast within’ to be particularly refreshing. 1.2268 0.04750 97 77 18 2
2523 I could have stayed home if you had replied to my DM. 1.2268 0.05182 97 79 14 4
2524 I got turned around. Did an ape, last name Kong, come through here? 1.2268 0.05582 97 81 10 6
2525 I told you to make my character more soft and emotional, not full of rage 1.2268 0.05386 97 80 12 5
2526 I thought those interviews were off the record. 1.2268 0.04750 97 77 18 2
2527 With all the violence permeating this world, explain again why the protagonist is a dragon slayer. 1.2268 0.04750 97 77 18 2
2528 ...and what did you mean by ‘Prehistoric’? 1.2268 0.05582 97 81 10 6
2529 Wart realized: the real monster was capitalism. 1.2268 0.04971 97 78 16 3
2530 I waited 65 million years for a cliff hanger?! 1.2268 0.05582 97 81 10 6
2531 To Ty, thanks 1.2268 0.05386 97 80 12 5
2532 A tale of epic proportions 1.2268 0.04971 97 78 16 3
2533 Why can't you put out a small-print edition for those of us with tiny forepaws? 1.2262 0.05706 84 69 11 4
2534 My fire breathing issues were personal, Linda. We discussed this. 1.2262 0.05449 84 68 13 3
2535 How dare you write about prehistoric creatures as a human woman? 1.2262 0.05706 84 69 11 4
2536 It's sad that her fan base is disappearing. 1.2262 0.04895 84 66 17 1
2537 Reading your book was truly a life-changing experience." 1.2258 0.05100 93 75 15 3
2538 No, I don't want an autograph; I want an apology for that "ridiculously undersized arms" on page 9. 1.2258 0.05100 93 75 15 3
2539 It says meet, not eat sir! 1.2258 0.05540 93 77 11 5
2540 My book club devoured your novel. 1.2258 0.04619 93 73 19 1
2541 She wrote that it was a herbivore. 1.2258 0.05325 93 76 13 4
2542 Who gave you permission to write about your mother? 1.2258 0.05540 93 77 11 5
2543 Apologies. I thought it said, “Eat the author.” 1.2258 0.05540 93 77 11 5
2544 I thought this was a meet and eat event. 1.2258 0.05540 93 77 11 5
2545 Pardon me, but I have a few issues with this so-called "Science Fiction" novel. 1.2258 0.05100 93 75 15 3
2546 Your book reads like you've never even met a real dinosaur! 1.2258 0.05325 93 76 13 4
2547 Sorry 1.2258 0.05540 93 77 11 5
2548 I don't care. It's 1:57 so you'll have to wait three minutes. 1.2258 0.05325 93 76 13 4
2549 I'll try to hold my fire while you sign. 1.2258 0.05540 93 77 11 5
2550 I thought the flyer said, "Eat the Author". 1.2258 0.05540 93 77 11 5
2551 I hope he liked the book. 1.2258 0.04866 93 74 17 2
2552 My apologies; I misunderstood. I thought they said you were 'meat'. 1.2258 0.04866 93 79 9 5
2553 I bumped into someone reading your last book; They were delicious... 1.2258 0.04866 93 74 17 2
2554 Aren't you a little old for this 1.2258 0.05100 93 75 15 3
2555 I thought you were writing my biography--why am I in the Fantasy section? 1.2258 0.05325 93 76 13 4
2556 Local bookstore heats up as the Mother of Dragons' opens tell-all-memoir tour. 1.2258 0.05540 93 77 11 5
2557 I heard it was Eat the author! 1.2258 0.05325 93 76 13 4
2558 I mostly enjoyed your book but I do take umbrage at your assumption that we are all entirely extinct! 1.2258 0.04359 93 72 21 0
2559 Are my feelings imaginary too? 1.2258 0.04866 93 74 17 2
2560 I really burned through your book. 1.2258 0.04619 93 73 19 1
2561 Well I heard - eat the author. 1.2258 0.05747 93 78 9 6
2562 Big writer think she can do without thesaurus. 1.2258 0.04744 93 76 14 3
2563 Sorry. M is mute in Dragonspeak. 1.2258 0.05540 93 77 11 5
2564 I can only sign one book for you. It's been a long day and I'm draggin'. 1.2258 0.04866 93 74 17 2
2565 I think the statement you made in your book that I didn't make the team as a wide receiver because I have alligator arms was racist. 1.2258 0.05540 93 77 11 5
2566 Even though you misspelled my species name I still enjoyed the book thoroughly. 1.2258 0.04866 93 74 17 2
2567 I thought it was eat the author at 2 p.m. 1.2258 0.05540 93 77 11 5
2568 Why do we always have to be the bad guys? 1.2258 0.05100 93 75 15 3
2569 Excuse me, but I am absolutely positive that I was told this was the line to eat the author. 1.2258 0.05325 93 76 13 4
2570 I really like your story though the translation is bad. 1.2258 0.05325 93 76 13 4
2571 Ancient literature 1.2258 0.05325 93 76 13 4
2572 Christ, you're an asshole 1.2258 0.05325 93 76 13 4
2573 Yeah, more of a comment than a question: I didn't find Conversations With Friends to be sufficiently Marxist. 1.2258 0.05747 93 78 9 6
2574 You should know that I am nothing like the monster portrayed in your book. 1.2258 0.05325 93 76 13 4
2575 I just think the adjective 'reptilian' is subjective. 1.2258 0.05100 93 75 15 3
2576 I have waited in line for eons, and you can't personalize your signing for my wife? 1.2258 0.05325 93 76 13 4
2577 Sixty-five million years I've been waiting in this line. 1.2258 0.05540 93 77 11 5
2578 I thought we agreed that you would portray me as a petite blonde! 1.2258 0.05325 93 76 13 4
2579 Now say, "I'm not scary." 1.2258 0.05100 93 75 15 3
2580 You cannot know a dragon's heart. 1.2258 0.05100 93 75 15 3
2581 It's fake news spread by the chivalric media. 1.2258 0.05100 93 75 15 3
2582 I should be behind the desk, not you. 1.2258 0.05325 93 76 13 4
2583 You know you signed the Confidentiality Agreement about our affair. 1.2258 0.05325 93 76 13 4
2584 I had to wait a long time for this 1.2258 0.05540 93 77 11 5
2585 You know nothing about me or my ancestors, Miss Dinosaurs-Never-Existed! 1.2258 0.05325 93 76 13 4
2586 I don’t like how you appropriated my culture. 1.2258 0.04866 93 74 17 2
2587 You're not Michael Crichton. 1.2258 0.05325 93 76 13 4
2588 and they told me I was a dinosaur! 1.2258 0.05747 93 78 9 6
2589 Yes, that's right, it's called the Dragoon. Sorry, no refunds. 1.2258 0.05100 93 75 15 3
2590 So you think you've evolved? 1.2258 0.05100 93 75 15 3
2591 That’s ‘meet’, not ‘eat’, lizard breath. 1.2258 0.05947 93 79 7 7
2592 You really captured my lived experience. Especially the asteroid strike. 1.2258 0.05540 93 77 11 5
2593 Must be some fan from the Pre-Covid-19 Era. 1.2258 0.05747 93 78 9 6
2594 I got a bone to pick with the last chapter. 1.2258 0.05100 93 75 15 3
2595 Oh sorry - I thought it said, "EET THE AUTHOR." 1.2258 0.05325 93 76 13 4
2596 I am not fictitious. 1.2258 0.05325 93 76 13 4
2597 No one's gonna believe a word of this trash. 1.2258 0.05325 93 76 13 4
2598 You wrote a tell-all?! I knew I shouldn't have fired you over Twitter... 1.2258 0.04223 93 79 10 4
2599 I have an issue with your propagation of the "built in obsolescence" philosophy 1.2258 0.05747 93 78 9 6
2600 I'm here to eat you, literally. 1.2258 0.05325 93 76 13 4
2601 The fifth extinction? Fake noose. 1.2258 0.05100 93 75 15 3
2602 Too bad you hadn't written "How to Train Your Dragon" when my kids were small. 1.2258 0.04866 93 74 17 2
2603 You know, no one is going to believe you. 1.2258 0.05325 93 76 13 4
2604 Hello, Sandra. Remember me? 1.2258 0.05540 93 77 11 5
2605 See honey, this guy is creative. Instead of wearing a mask, he wore a costume. 1.2258 0.05100 93 75 15 3
2606 Yes, all five. They're for my reading group. 1.2258 0.05325 93 76 13 4
2607 Oh, it's 'Meet' the author... with an M. Sorry, my mistake. 1.2258 0.04619 93 73 19 1
2608 Loved the book! I just have a few corrections you might want to look at concerning the Jurassic period. 1.2258 0.05100 93 75 15 3
2609 Meet the dragon lady of literature. 1.2258 0.05325 93 76 13 4
2610 I am your biggest fan boy. 1.2258 0.05325 93 76 13 4
2611 It’s Fiction!, No dragons were actually slaughtered 1.2258 0.05747 93 78 9 6
2612 I had a very strange reaction to your book... 1.2258 0.05100 93 75 15 3
2613 I thought the advertisement said eat the author at 2pm 1.2258 0.05100 93 75 15 3
2614 It’s Y not I. Pach Y cephalosaur. 1.2258 0.04082 93 76 15 2
2615 The way you depict some characters is pretty biased, Ms. Rowling. 1.2258 0.05747 93 78 9 6
2616 When will Stephen King be arriving? I mean I came all the way from Japan and managed to be on time. 1.2258 0.05100 93 75 15 3
2617 I have a complaint with how you portrayed my character in your book. 1.2258 0.05747 93 78 9 6
2618 MEET? I thought it was EAT! 1.2258 0.05325 93 76 13 4
2619 You’re right. I did appropriate your experience. 1.2258 0.05540 93 77 11 5
2620 Apparently she violated their NDA. 1.2258 0.05100 93 75 15 3
2621 I think I just ate the author. 1.2258 0.05747 93 78 9 6
2622 Love, love, love it. Could have been a little scarier 1.2258 0.04866 93 74 17 2
2623 Im not going to tell him he jumped the line. 1.2258 0.05325 93 76 13 4
2624 You got me through the awkward years 1.2258 0.05100 93 75 15 3
2625 Why do you keep dragon out signing my books? 1.2258 0.05100 93 75 15 3
2626 Why not? You think I should give Jeff Bezos the business? 1.2258 0.05747 93 78 9 6
2627 I prefer a copy in a hide-bound spine, please 1.2258 0.05325 93 76 13 4
2628 There for my kids.Make it out to My Favorite Dragon. 1.2258 0.05325 93 76 13 4
2629 Trump devalued masks.... 1.2258 0.05747 93 78 9 6
2630 You’ve painted me as a monster 1.2258 0.05540 93 77 11 5
2631 You were never this punctual when we were dating. 1.2258 0.05325 93 76 13 4
2632 You here this! Maybe I should have a snickers she says, I’ll tell you what you can do with that snickers! 1.2258 0.05947 93 79 7 7
2633 I'm really unhappy with your depiction of our break-up. 1.2258 0.05747 93 78 9 6
2634 St. George this and St. George that, you give no mention as to what the ASPCA had to say about it. 1.2258 0.04866 93 74 17 2
2635 I never gave you permission to tell about our dreams. 1.2258 0.04866 93 74 17 2
2636 I understand he's an expert at Dungeons & Dragons. 1.2258 0.05747 93 78 9 6
2637 She should have done a zoom. 1.2258 0.05325 93 76 13 4
2638 Big, stupid, tiny brain- you are toast lady 1.2258 0.04866 93 74 17 2
2639 Please mind the gap, or now known as: please social distance and wear a fire proof non-medical mask. 1.2258 0.05540 93 77 11 5
2640 Martha, how dare you pass this off as fiction, after all our years together! 1.2258 0.05325 93 76 13 4
2641 It’s “meet”, not “meat” you idiot. No wonder your species is going extinct. 1.2258 0.05540 93 77 11 5
2642 Admit that the characters write themselves! Admit it! 1.2258 0.04866 93 74 17 2
2643 Extinct? EXTINCT?? I've waited sixty million years for this. It's payback time. 1.2258 0.05540 93 77 11 5
2644 You know, that book you use to find words with similar meanings... 1.2258 0.05325 93 76 13 4
2645 Independent bookstores are going extinct? Unoriginal, and frankly, distasteful. 1.2258 0.04866 93 74 17 2
2646 I thought the ad said “Meat, the author!” 1.2258 0.05540 93 77 11 5
2647 I have a thing for historical nonfiction. 1.2258 0.04866 93 74 17 2
2648 I need for you to sign five copies; one for me, one for my master, one for my aunt Mitilda, one for uncle Jeb and one for the little girl who lives down the lane." 1.2258 0.03785 93 75 17 1
2649 I'd like to have a private word with you about the illainvay... 1.2258 0.05100 93 75 15 3
2650 I am offended by your portrayal of large Jurassic reptiles. And furthermore, I am not extinct. 1.2258 0.05325 93 76 13 4
2651 Not to stereotype 1.2258 0.05747 93 78 9 6
2652 Sign it T.Rex xoxox or oxoxox. Your call. 1.2258 0.05540 93 77 11 5
2653 Do you ever feel like you’re going extinct? 1.2258 0.05325 93 76 13 4
2654 I don't like the way you wrote about my arms! 1.2258 0.05540 93 77 11 5
2655 I’ve been waiting for forever to meet you. 1.2258 0.04082 93 76 15 2
2656 Do you have a large print edition ? 1.2258 0.05214 93 78 10 5
2657 If you thought fire-breathing was bad, you should have said something right away. 1.2258 0.05100 93 75 15 3
2658 Damn voicemail transcription read, "You are invited to eat the author." 1.2258 0.05540 93 77 11 5
2659 You're surprised? I got on this line eons ago, imagine how surprised I am. 1.2258 0.05325 93 76 13 4
2660 No, Lady, it's g-i-g-a-n-t-O-s-a-u-r-u-s, with an O! 1.2258 0.05100 93 75 15 3
2661 Maybe THIS will refresh your memory! 1.2258 0.04866 93 74 17 2
2662 I loved the way you described your nightmares. 1.2258 0.05325 93 76 13 4
2663 The sign says, 'meet' not eat 'the author.' 1.2258 0.05325 93 76 13 4
2664 You said I was extinct? 1.2258 0.05100 93 75 15 3
2665 I could help you with a fire sale. 1.2258 0.04619 93 73 19 1
2666 Do you think I live in a cave or somethin’? 1.2258 0.05540 93 77 11 5
2667 Dammit, I said sign it to Tyrannosaurus rex, not Tillerson rex 1.2258 0.05325 93 76 13 4
2668 Get me out of your cook book! I make a chewy Stroganoff" 1.2258 0.04359 93 77 13 3
2669 You promised you wouldn’t tell anyone! 1.2258 0.05100 93 75 15 3
2670 I just want the audio; my arms are to short to hold a book. 1.2258 0.05325 93 76 13 4
2671 With two E's? Dang. 1.2258 0.05747 93 78 9 6
2672 Discovering it's the biography, not the autobiography, of Dinah Shore 1.2258 0.05540 93 77 11 5
2673 He has a monster crush on her. 1.2258 0.05325 93 76 13 4
2674 Sooo, Ms. McCaffrey, on page 174........ 1.2258 0.05325 93 76 13 4
2675 You left out a huge part of "History of the World'. 1.2258 0.05325 93 76 13 4
2676 I humbly take exception to your poorly-researched description of my visit to Avignon appearing on page 217. 1.2258 0.05325 93 76 13 4
2677 I am sorry sir but English has homonyms. Please note the spelling- “meet”. Additionally, there would otherwise be a comma missing. 1.2258 0.05100 93 75 15 3
2678 I don't buy that 'Any resemblance to actual persons is coincidental' disclaimer. You'll be hearing from my lawyer. 1.2258 0.05325 93 76 13 4
2679 Not even a mention in the Acknowledgments after all the help I gave you. 1.2258 0.05100 93 75 15 3
2680 Man! It took me ages to get to the front of this queue! 1.2258 0.04866 93 74 17 2
2681 Really?...‘FICTION’? 1.2258 0.05325 93 76 13 4
2682 I've been waiting eons to meet her. 1.2258 0.05100 93 75 15 3
2683 All I’m saying, Ms. Kolbert, is that “The Fifth Extinction” would’ve been a better title than “The Sixth Extinction.” 1.2258 0.05540 93 77 11 5
2684 And that's when I realized your book on time travel wasn't fiction. 1.2258 0.05540 93 77 11 5
2685 I misread the sign....thought it said MEAT the author. 1.2258 0.04359 93 77 13 3
2686