Contest #716


Cartoon

716

The winning captions

These captions are chosen by The New Yorker.

  1. “He could have just written his name on his yogurt.”
  2. “Do you think we should add a password?”
  3. “Damn. Now I’m kinda hungry.”


Name Value
Submission deadline 2020-07-12T15:46:00.000Z
Voting started -
Voting ended 2020-07-26T15:48:00.000Z
Finalists announced 2020-07-20T15:47:00.000Z
Magazine(s) announcing finalists issued July 27, 2020
Number of captions 15329
Number of responses 261717
Number of participants -


Dashboard

In this table, the "mean" means the empirically measured average funniness score when the "unfunny", "somewhat funny" and "funny" receive a funniness score of 1, 2, 3 respectively. "Precison" is the standard error of the mean, the standard deviation of the mean estimate. With that, a caption with an empirical mean μ and precision σ has true mean in the range [μ - 2σ, μ + 2σ] with 95% probability by the 68-95-99.7 rule assuming the responses are indepedent and identically distributed.

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Rank Caption Mean Precision Total votes "Unfunny" votes "Somewhat funny" votes "Funny" votes
0 Could we have outstayed our welcome? 1.9761 0.04371 335 111 121 103
1 The listing did say kitchen to die for. 1.9712 0.05533 208 69 76 63
2 I've lost six pounds and a toe since starting this diet..." 1.9491 0.05176 216 68 91 57
3 I don't know about you, but I'm thinking takeout 1.9022 0.05305 225 83 81 61
4 I said to put lox in the fridge. 1.8636 0.05272 220 84 82 54
5 Maybe dad wants us to move out. 1.8396 0.05654 187 73 71 43
6 I see you ate some of Dad’s favorite ice cream. 1.8177 0.05622 181 71 72 38
7 Still want to see my bedroom? 1.8026 0.06925 152 73 36 43
8 My mom lost 45 pounds and my dad lost a leg. 1.8015 0.06890 131 56 45 30
9 Still safer than eating out. 1.7981 0.07654 104 44 37 23
10 Have you considered simply not buying the ice cream in the first place? 1.7939 0.07000 131 58 42 31
11 I agree. No more resolutions after wine. 1.7883 0.06983 137 63 40 34
12 Do you think we should add a password? 1.7863 0.07189 131 61 37 33
13 The airbnb ad said "some restrictions apply". 1.7803 0.07159 132 62 37 33
14 My roommate caught me drinking milk straight from the carton. 1.7724 0.06613 123 50 51 22
15 Last time they just left a sticky note. 1.7724 0.06812 123 52 47 24
16 If you love me, you'll get me that carton of Chunky Monkey. 1.7642 0.06935 123 54 44 25
17 Mom rigged it up after dad started working from home. 1.7565 0.06942 115 49 45 21
18 I wonder what their bathroom looks like. 1.7551 0.12553 49 26 9 14
19 Look on the bright side: we can eat whatever we trap. 1.7521 0.07474 117 56 34 27
20 She could have just put her name on the carton 1.7500 0.07341 112 51 38 23
21 Weight Watchers has sure changed a lot since Oprah took it over. 1.7447 0.11162 47 21 17 9
22 When Mom goes on a diet we all suffer. 1.7434 0.07519 113 54 34 25
23 This should hold, but we'll need something more for the liquor cabinet. 1.7300 0.07502 100 45 37 18
24 I know it looks intense but watch this, “Hey Siri, open smart lock kitchen.” 1.7273 0.07409 110 52 36 22
25 I still think we should add an alarm. 1.7255 0.07777 102 49 32 21
26 It's hard visiting your mother when she's on a diet. 1.7158 0.08287 95 48 26 21
27 We still have the Oreos under the mattress, right? 1.7143 0.07858 91 42 33 16
28 So, when you said you worked in food security, I was imagining something a bit different... 1.7143 0.07675 98 46 34 18
29 It's brilliant -- nobody will ever guess that we hid it in the dishwasher! 1.7093 0.08574 86 43 25 18
30 I asked for lox. 1.7079 0.09068 89 49 17 23
31 You should see what I did for my toilet paper supply! 1.7079 0.08022 89 42 31 16
32 They say it’s the last diet you’ll ever be on. 1.7053 0.08180 95 48 27 20
33 Or we could try Weight Watchers. 1.7053 0.07901 95 46 31 18
34 I said we needed more LOX. 1.7033 0.08194 91 45 28 18
35 Toilet paper's safe -- where shall we put the food? 1.6989 0.08059 93 46 29 18
36 I just started the Houdini Diet. 1.6966 0.08665 89 47 22 20
37 There's an app, too. 1.6966 0.08517 89 46 24 19
38 I think I know where Mom and Dad put the beer. 1.6957 0.11986 46 24 12 10
39 Finally. Something you won’t do for a Klondike Bar. 1.6957 0.08286 92 47 26 19
40 Weight Watchers felt too complicated. 1.6957 0.08140 92 46 28 18
41 You’re right let’s order in. 1.6941 0.07854 85 39 33 13
42 It was either that or exercise. 1.6923 0.08223 91 46 27 18
43 By the way, where’s Timmy? 1.6860 0.08477 86 44 25 17
44 It’s called the impaleo diet 1.6848 0.08869 92 52 17 23
45 To be fair, the airbnb ad did say there were no kitchen privileges. 1.6829 0.09162 82 45 18 19
46 And then we film the whole thing; it's Top Chef meets Survivor. 1.6829 0.08479 82 41 26 15
47 Take-out sounds good to me too. 1.6829 0.08479 82 41 26 15
48 I say we get takeout. 1.6824 0.08063 85 41 30 14
49 I'm guessing mom wants us to get our own place. 1.6790 0.08394 81 40 27 14
50 It's modeled it on Melania's bedroom door 1.6790 0.09099 81 44 19 18
51 It started with a Post-it note and escalated quickly. 1.6786 0.08827 84 45 21 18
52 Raising a magician is exhausting. 1.6747 0.08060 83 40 30 13
53 I don't think they plan on feeding us. 1.6711 0.09622 76 43 15 18
54 I thought the ban on indoor dining meant restaurants? 1.6711 0.08863 76 39 23 14
55 No, I'm pretty sure our AirBnb hosts said it was cool to use the kitchen. 1.6711 0.08458 76 37 27 12
56 I still think that it would make more sense to just get rid of the cheesecake. 1.6711 0.09438 76 42 17 17
57 I've also switched to 2% Milk 1.6709 0.08397 79 39 27 13
58 I guessing the new roommate bought groceries. 1.6709 0.08775 79 41 23 15
59 I’m fine with takeout. 1.6667 0.08051 81 39 30 12
60 Alexa, remove all locks and traps 1.6604 0.10414 53 27 17 9
61 Whoever did this apparently didn't know the fridge was empty. 1.6579 0.08896 76 40 22 14
62 All this for one little mouse, Nick? 1.6579 0.09091 76 41 20 15
63 It’s about setting boundaries. 1.6575 0.08552 73 36 26 11
64 How big was the mouse? 1.6575 0.09195 73 39 20 14
65 They say you lose 20 pounds the first month. 1.6575 0.09195 73 39 20 14
66 Trust me, it's gets easier by day 5. 1.6571 0.08606 70 34 26 10
67 Or you could just label your stuff. 1.6548 0.08718 84 46 21 17
68 Do you think Greg’s still mad we ate his salsa? 1.6528 0.09519 72 40 17 15
69 Wait—it could be a trap. 1.6512 0.12400 43 24 10 9
70 That's nothing. You should see their liquor cabinet. 1.6494 0.08219 77 38 28 11
71 I hate having passive-aggressive roommates. 1.6471 0.09315 68 36 20 12
72 I froze the credit cards in water and put them in the freezer. 1.6471 0.09547 68 37 18 13
73 I think you're giving the raccoons too much credit. 1.6429 0.08642 70 35 25 10
74 Now swallow the key. 1.6429 0.09333 70 38 19 13
75 I don't think your parents want us here anymore 1.6418 0.08948 67 34 23 10
76 Let's order out. 1.6418 0.09440 67 36 19 12
77 Maybe we should ask for more details next time we do housesitting. 1.6418 0.09676 67 37 17 13
78 People that try this diet say it’s painful but it really works 1.6406 0.09010 64 32 23 9
79 I think they’re starting to regret letting us move back in... 1.6389 0.08913 72 38 22 12
80 And yet I can still hear those chocolate brownies calling to me! 1.6389 0.08691 72 37 24 11
81 No wonder they didn’t include kitchen pics in the Airbnb profile 1.6377 0.09455 69 38 18 13
82 You're right. We need our own place. 1.6377 0.09677 69 39 16 14
83 And let me tell you, the bedroom is a minefield. 1.6377 0.09455 69 38 18 13
84 At least the booze is in the den 1.6377 0.08993 69 36 22 11
85 It worked for your porn addiction. 1.6364 0.09568 66 36 18 12
86 If you like the kitchen, you'll love the bidet. 1.6364 0.10043 66 38 14 14
87 Ok. But wait 'til you see what I have lined up for your sex addiction. 1.6324 0.08865 68 35 23 10
88 What can you tell me about the previous owners? 1.6308 0.09449 65 35 19 11
89 Tonight, little Joey sleepwalks for the last time. 1.6296 0.10339 54 29 16 9
90 Do you think Mom & Dad are trying to tell us we overstayed our welcome? 1.6296 0.16144 27 16 5 6
91 So how's the diet going? 1.6286 0.08432 70 35 26 9
92 The best part of my new diet plan: No complicated point system. 1.6271 0.09013 59 29 23 7
93 You were right - looks like breakfast is NOT included 1.6250 0.10084 64 37 14 13
94 My parents are still in a stand-off on the kitchen make-over. 1.6250 0.11706 40 21 13 6
95 Honey, when they said kitchens are closed until Phase 4, I'm not sure they meant at home. 1.6230 0.09963 61 34 16 11
96 This diet's torture. 1.6230 0.08798 61 30 24 7
97 It just seemed easier than exercise. 1.6226 0.10851 53 30 13 10
98 So how's your Houdini diet going? 1.6212 0.09599 66 37 17 12
99 Maybe Mom and Dad didn’t want us moving home after college 1.6212 0.09353 66 36 19 11
100 Remember when she just used to leave a Post-It Note on her yogurt? 1.6212 0.09839 66 38 15 13
101 Anything else before your brother arrives? 1.6207 0.09471 58 30 20 8
102 I’ve lost 17lbs and only 3 toes, so I think this diet plan is working 1.6197 0.08597 71 37 24 10
103 Good thing the liquor cabinet’s in the dining room. 1.6190 0.11279 42 22 14 6
104 Sure, it may cost me an arm and a leg, but I WILL fit into last year’s swimsuit! 1.6154 0.09480 65 36 18 11
105 See, that's the difference between child-resistant and childproof. 1.6154 0.09730 65 37 16 12
106 He couldn’t just write his name on his food like everyone else? 1.6154 0.09974 65 38 14 13
107 Weight Watchers has really changed since the eighties. 1.6133 0.08677 75 41 22 12
108 Yeah but if we go out we'd have to put masks on. 1.6129 0.09852 62 35 16 11
109 Would you like something to drink? 1.6111 0.10379 54 30 15 9
110 Now we’ll see who will do ‘anything’ for a Klondike bar... 1.6111 0.11032 54 32 11 11
111 Trust me, you haven’t seen this rat. 1.6102 0.09675 59 32 18 9
112 What do you mean I may have an eating disorder? 1.6094 0.09610 64 36 17 11
113 No, I really do like it. I just wish you would have waited until I put the groceries away. 1.6081 0.09191 74 43 17 14
114 Babe, my birth control pills are in there. 1.6071 0.10090 56 31 16 9
115 If you're positive it's Rocky Road I'll give it a shot. 1.6066 0.09994 61 35 15 11
116 Maybe it would be simpler just to join Weight Watchers. 1.6066 0.09717 61 34 17 10
117 I didn't think that this new diet would be so strict! 1.6066 0.09717 61 34 17 10
118 I would define it as roommate overkill. 1.6061 0.09627 66 38 16 12
119 Do you think your parents are trying to tell us we need to move out? 1.6061 0.09382 66 37 18 11
120 It looked so different in the Ikea catalog. 1.6034 0.09820 58 32 17 9
121 We weren’t happy on the Paleo diet so we’re going to give Medieval a try 1.6032 0.10002 63 37 14 12
122 I don’t know, it feels like a trap. 1.6032 0.09477 63 35 18 10
123 Maybe moving back in with Mom and Dad wasn't such a good idea. 1.6029 0.09633 68 40 15 13
124 Seems worth it. You first. 1.6000 0.09567 60 33 18 9
125 Well, the rental listing did say no kitchen access. 1.6000 0.09858 60 34 16 10
126 it’s sort of like Paleo but with consequences. 1.6000 0.09567 60 33 18 9
127 Where do you think we should put the quicksand? 1.6000 0.08957 60 31 22 7
128 Feel like ordering a pizza? 1.6000 0.09267 60 32 20 8
129 Shh - I hear the muffled pleas of Ben and Jerry. 1.6000 0.10140 60 35 14 11
130 It was either this, or exercise for the rest of quarantine. 1.5968 0.09330 62 34 19 9
131 You could just tell me that you don’t like my cooking. 1.5968 0.09609 62 35 17 10
132 He clearly said, “Help yourself to anything in the kitchen.”. 1.5968 0.08437 62 31 25 6
133 The chain really ties it all together. 1.5965 0.10278 57 33 14 10
134 It’s still safer than eating out. 1.5965 0.09969 57 32 16 9
135 This new diet is really going to kill us huh? 1.5962 0.10728 52 30 13 9
136 I don’t even care about the ice cream anymore. I just want to prove we can out smart her. 1.5962 0.10000 52 28 17 7
137 They’re teenagers, Ed, not wild animals.” 1.5932 0.09084 59 31 21 7
138 I think your personal trainer’s tactics are a bit extreme. 1.5926 0.10073 54 30 16 8
139 Losing a limb still counts as losing weight, right? 1.5926 0.10073 54 30 16 8
140 It sure puts the ‘die’ in ‘diet.’ 1.5926 0.09720 54 29 18 7
141 Maybe it's time we found a place of our own. 1.5926 0.10414 54 31 14 9
142 If this doesn't work we'll h ave to use the duct tape. 1.5926 0.15340 27 16 6 5
143 I think I can make it, if you go first. 1.5926 0.10744 54 32 12 10
144 They call it the Medieval diet 1.5926 0.09720 54 29 18 7
145 High risk but very low calorie. 1.5926 0.10073 54 30 16 8
146 But you won't wear a mask? 1.5926 0.10073 54 30 16 8
147 The best part of my diet is I left the keys in the fridge with the butter. 1.5926 0.10414 54 31 14 9
148 It's subtle, but I get it. 1.5926 0.10414 54 31 14 9
149 On the other hand, I have a bag of chips in the car. 1.5926 0.08972 54 27 22 5
150 Oh crap, I think I left my car keys in there. 1.5926 0.10073 54 30 16 8
151 I really think we should have gone with the moat. 1.5926 0.10744 54 32 12 10
152 Mom's serious about us getting jobs,huh? 1.5902 0.09460 61 34 18 9
153 On second thought let’s just try Keto. 1.5902 0.09460 61 34 18 9
154 I have some dietary restrictions. 1.5893 0.09458 56 30 19 7
155 That's done. Now for Facebook. 1.5893 0.10437 56 33 13 10
156 Do you think this will keep three teenage boys out f the refrigerator? 1.5893 0.09458 56 30 19 7
157 I would kill for a bear claw. 1.5882 0.13429 34 20 8 6
158 Do you think I'm controlling? 1.5862 0.08880 58 30 22 6
159 You're sure there are no small parts children might choke on? 1.5862 0.10445 58 35 12 11
160 Point made. 1.5862 0.08880 58 30 22 6
161 Too much? 1.5849 0.10921 53 32 11 10
162 But does it bring you joy? 1.5849 0.09874 53 29 17 7
163 You should see how they secure the toilet paper. 1.5849 0.11566 53 34 7 12
164 So this must be the Impaleo Diet prep that Diane was telling us about" 1.5849 0.10583 53 31 13 9
165 No, honey, I said we need more LOX in the kitchen. 1.5849 0.10235 53 30 15 8
166 Paleo wasn’t working, so I upgraded to medieval. 1.5818 0.09602 55 30 18 7
167 He's a teenager, Jack! Not a bear for God's sake! 1.5818 0.10279 55 32 14 9
168 I don’t know... could be a trap. 1.5789 0.10604 57 35 11 11
169 It’s your turn to make dinner. 1.5789 0.09678 57 32 17 8
170 I call it the im-paleo diet" 1.5789 0.10305 57 34 13 10
171 I've never heard of the Houdini diet, but it looks effective! 1.5789 0.10604 57 35 11 11
172 It helps me figure out if I’m hungry or just bored. 1.5769 0.10032 52 29 16 7
173 We should've just gotten the Peloton. 1.5769 0.10402 52 30 14 8
174 I think that Mom is trying to lose weight again. 1.5769 0.09649 52 28 18 6
175 Let’s just order take out. 1.5763 0.10315 59 36 12 11
176 My mom is still adjusting to me moving back in. 1.5763 0.09426 59 33 18 8
177 I see now why it's called the Houdini diet. 1.5763 0.09426 59 33 18 8
178 The kids have had it with eating in. 1.5758 0.12332 33 18 11 4
179 The carbs are in there, and we're out here. I think we're safe now. 1.5745 0.10858 47 27 13 7
180 You think they want us to move out? 1.5741 0.10101 54 31 15 8
181 Couldn't he just put his name on his leftovers? 1.5741 0.09384 54 29 19 6
182 Now that we're thin, do you remember where we hid the keys? 1.5741 0.10771 54 33 11 10
183 We should have taken the cheese out of the fridge before we started. 1.5714 0.13041 28 15 10 3
184 I said linguini not houdini 1.5714 0.10911 49 29 12 8
185 I think we are starting to wear out our welcome here.... 1.5714 0.10514 49 28 14 7
186 Another lockdown? 1.5714 0.10514 49 28 14 7
187 Should we go back to Post-It notes? 1.5714 0.10514 49 28 14 7
188 I'd give an arm and a leg for some icecream right now 1.5690 0.09240 58 32 19 7
189 I guess labelling your stuff didn't work? 1.5690 0.10175 58 35 13 10
190 The Medieval Diet Plan is really working. 1.5686 0.09395 51 27 19 5
191 I told the kids I was cooking dinner tonight...again. Well played kids, well played 1.5686 0.10196 51 29 15 7
192 It's part of my new medieval diet. 1.5686 0.09804 51 28 17 6
193 Oh, I disagree. Ice cream is worth it. 1.5686 0.10574 51 30 13 8
194 I think it's time to review our roommate agreement. 1.5686 0.09804 51 28 17 6
195 Or we could exercise 1.5686 0.11291 51 32 9 10
196 Wanna go out? 1.5660 0.10609 53 32 12 9
197 I’m still not sure it will work with teenagers. 1.5660 0.09528 53 29 18 6
198 Let's dine out tonight. 1.5660 0.10609 53 32 12 9
199 I’m way too stoned for this. 1.5652 0.11056 46 27 12 7
200 Looks like the AirBNB listing was serious about the kitchen being off-limits. 1.5636 0.10303 55 33 13 9
201 I'm sorry, I saw a spider 1.5625 0.13424 32 19 8 5
202 On the bright side, I have lost five pounds. 1.5625 0.09833 48 26 17 5
203 I'm really not that hungry anyway. 1.5610 0.11608 41 24 11 6
204 I'll do it for a Klondike bar 1.5600 0.10365 50 29 14 7
205 The last pound is the hardest. 1.5600 0.10751 50 30 12 8
206 I thought they said "bring bagels; we have lox" 1.5600 0.10365 50 29 14 7
207 Intermittent fasting, day two. 1.5600 0.11125 50 31 10 9
208 He’s a sixteen year old boy, Marsha - I just don’t think it’s going to be enough. 1.5577 0.10426 52 31 13 8
209 I’m thinking it’s time we got our own place. 1.5577 0.10426 52 31 13 8
210 You should have thought of that before you put the beer in the frig. 1.5577 0.10426 52 31 13 8
211 Georgia is going to use these in the polling stations in November. 1.5556 0.11262 45 27 11 7
212 It’s new. It’s called the Alcatraz Diet. 1.5536 0.10787 56 36 9 11
213 You’re not hungry. You’re bored 1.5532 0.09027 47 24 20 3
214 Losing those last five pounds is the hardest. 1.5532 0.09999 47 26 16 5
215 This is not what I meant by giving an arm and a leg for a good meal 1.5532 0.10452 47 27 14 6
216 We will start eating healthy, even if it kills us 1.5532 0.10885 47 28 12 7
217 It’s the only thing that keeps me from snacking in between video calls. 1.5532 0.09999 47 26 16 5
218 Larry, your sourdough starter isn't that valuable. 1.5532 0.10885 47 28 12 7
219 The cage really ties the room together. 1.5532 0.11302 47 29 10 8
220 Kinda puts the “die” back in diet, doesn’t it? 1.5532 0.10885 47 28 12 7
221 Would it kill you to make dinner? 1.5532 0.09999 47 26 16 5
222 The key? It’s behind the pallet of Chips Ahoys in the garage. 1.5517 0.13669 29 17 8 4
223 So, I guess we have to order pizza 1.5510 0.10539 49 29 13 7
224 Paleo was tough, but medieval is going to kill me.” 1.5510 0.10935 49 30 11 8
225 In her defense, the post-it notes weren’t working. 1.5490 0.10219 51 30 14 7
226 You should see where I keep the toilet paper 1.5490 0.10595 51 31 12 8
227 Or we could find a different babysitter’ 1.5490 0.10219 51 30 14 7
228 It just seems so very low tech for an IT guy. 1.5490 0.10219 51 30 14 7
229 When the authorities said "lockdown," this isn't what they meant. 1.5490 0.09827 51 29 16 6
230 It's called the diet to die for. 1.5490 0.10595 51 31 12 8
231 We still have a fridge in the garage, right? 1.5472 0.09549 53 30 17 6
232 He's a teenager. Of course he'll get to the food. 1.5472 0.10628 53 33 11 9
233 I think mom wants us to move out 1.5472 0.10281 53 32 13 8
234 My parents are on the same diet. 1.5472 0.09922 53 31 15 7
235 It's intimidating, for sure, but my money's on the squirrel. 1.5455 0.11926 44 28 8 8
236 So...does ordering take out sound good? 1.5455 0.08921 55 30 20 5
237 I think it might be just a little too complicated to market as an easy weight loss system. 1.5455 0.11004 44 26 12 6
238 That oughta keep the refrigerator from running! 1.5455 0.13824 33 21 6 6
239 All I said to the kids is that I was going to start cooking again. 1.5455 0.09454 44 23 18 3
240 Wait until you see what I've fixed up for the bedroom. 1.5435 0.09684 46 25 17 4
241 You said the mouse was how big? 1.5417 0.10296 48 28 14 6
242 We could just stop asking him to babysit. 1.5417 0.09856 48 27 16 5
243 Not only have I lost weight, but my quick-twitch motor skills are off the charts! 1.5417 0.09856 48 27 16 5
244 So....take-out it is? 1.5417 0.10296 48 28 14 6
245 Maybe we should consider a partial re-opening? 1.5417 0.10296 48 28 14 6
246 Medieval is the new Keto. 1.5417 0.11124 48 30 10 8
247 It's getting more and more difficult to avoid eating out. 1.5417 0.08912 48 25 20 3
248 Or, we could try self-discipline. 1.5417 0.10718 48 29 12 7
249 After all else failed, they decided this is what it would take to stop snacking during quarantine. 1.5417 0.10296 48 28 14 6
250 You can always tell when Grandma made pies for the church fund raiser ! 1.5417 0.09856 48 27 16 5
251 But it would be a meal to die for. 1.5417 0.08912 48 25 20 3
252 That mouse has met his match! 1.5417 0.11516 48 31 8 9
253 You kept the keys, right? 1.5400 0.09566 50 28 17 5
254 Maybe it's bed OR breakfast...? 1.5400 0.10770 50 31 11 8
255 You know, most people just complain to their friends about their spouse’s cooking. 1.5400 0.09566 50 28 17 5
256 And your friend kept the weight off? 1.5400 0.09984 50 29 15 6
257 Do you think it's enough to keep us from the cheese cake? 1.5400 0.10770 50 31 11 8
258 Maybe we should just go back to Weight Watchers. 1.5400 0.10384 50 30 13 7
259 I had in mind a more open-concept kitchen. 1.5400 0.10384 50 30 13 7
260 What are you storing there ? Toilet paper ? 1.5400 0.09984 50 29 15 6
261 Well, I think we're ready for the teenage years. 1.5400 0.10384 50 30 13 7
262 Maybe we shouldn’t have gone with Houdini Kitchen Designers 1.5400 0.09984 50 29 15 6
263 Or should the moat with alligators go there? 1.5400 0.09566 50 28 17 5
264 Would it have stopped you at 14? 1.5400 0.09566 50 28 17 5
265 Has anyone ever suggested that you may have a sharing problem? 1.5400 0.10384 50 30 13 7
266 Well, it's not the most welcoming Airbnb we've have stayed . 1.5400 0.08671 50 26 21 3
267 What’s phase two? 1.5385 0.09694 52 30 16 6
268 I know it looks extreme, honey...but it's the only way we're ever going to use up all of those pinto beans in the pantry. 1.5385 0.10076 52 31 14 7
269 The owner said there was a trick to opening the fridge. 1.5385 0.10443 52 32 12 8
270 I told you that someday the smart appliances would rebel... 1.5370 0.10807 54 35 9 10
271 Are you saying I’m fat? 1.5366 0.09937 41 22 16 3
272 I ate my roommate’s leftovers ONE time 1.5349 0.11211 43 26 11 6
273 So that’s not what you had in mind when you asked me to childproof the house? 1.5349 0.10705 43 25 13 5
274 I’m trying to be more mindful when I eat. 1.5349 0.10705 43 25 13 5
275 How big was the mouse, exactly? 1.5349 0.12158 43 28 7 8
276 This gives a whole new meaning to “snack attack.” 1.5349 0.09615 43 23 17 3
277 Couldn't you just mark your milk with a line? 1.5349 0.10175 43 24 15 4
278 I still think we need a moat. 1.5333 0.11721 45 29 8 8
279 It's the Houdini diet. 1.5333 0.12144 45 30 6 9
280 If you think I'm fat, just say so. 1.5333 0.11282 45 28 10 7
281 I guess I just had a different understanding of house arrest. 1.5333 0.10825 45 27 12 6
282 This is how my family does Passover. 1.5333 0.10347 45 26 14 5
283 I told you we outstayed our welcome 1.5333 0.11721 45 29 8 8
284 Neither of us can cook anyway...let’s make an offer. 1.5333 0.11282 45 28 10 7
285 I'd say Dad was pretty serious about claiming that last slice of pie. 1.5333 0.11282 45 28 10 7
286 So that's all it takes to become a super model? 1.5333 0.09847 45 25 16 4
287 Now I’m thirsty. 1.5333 0.10347 45 26 14 5
288 I guess Weight Watchers weren't kidding about their platinum plan... 1.5333 0.10825 45 27 12 6
289 You know, we could just agree to not keep ice cream in the house. 1.5333 0.11282 45 28 10 7
290 It’s your night to cook. 1.5333 0.10825 45 27 12 6
291 Couldn't we just do Keto? 1.5333 0.10825 45 27 12 6
292 Maybe we should just call it quits and return him to the shelter. 1.5333 0.11282 45 28 10 7
293 Are we overthinking this? 1.5319 0.10019 47 27 15 5
294 Suzanne said she lost fifteen pounds without trying. 1.5319 0.10019 47 27 15 5
295 I’ve heard promising things about the new Impaleo Diet. 1.5306 0.10951 49 31 10 8
296 Okay, then. If this doesn't work, let's try self-control. 1.5306 0.09716 49 28 16 5
297 Do you think mom would mind if I ate the rest of that cake? 1.5294 0.09843 51 30 15 6
298 Looks like we’re ordering takeout again 1.5283 0.09936 53 32 14 7
299 Maybe it would have been simpler to join Weight Watchers. 1.5278 0.10901 36 20 13 3
300 The agent did say that the Kitchen had Viking appliances 1.5238 0.12400 42 28 6 8
301 You’ve gotta admit, this is still safer than going outside... 1.5238 0.09782 42 23 16 3
302 Well, at least the floor isn’t lava 1.5238 0.10905 42 25 12 5
303 Now you’ll HAVE to take me to brunch. 1.5238 0.10905 42 25 12 5
304 I think there's a message here. 1.5238 0.09782 42 23 16 3
305 I'm feeling peckish; would you mind? 1.5238 0.09169 42 22 18 2
306 That should work until the gym opens. 1.5238 0.10905 42 25 12 5
307 Please tell me that was your stomach growling. 1.5238 0.10905 42 25 12 5
308 Seriously? You left the cheese for the traps in the fridge. 1.5238 0.10905 42 25 12 5
309 My friend did say, "the first two weeks of this diet will be brutal." 1.5238 0.11425 42 26 10 6
310 Tell me again, who recommended our new decorator? 1.5238 0.11922 42 27 8 7
311 Can't you just write your name on the bottle like the other housemates? 1.5238 0.10358 42 24 14 4
312 It's no good. I can still hear the cheesecake calling me... 1.5238 0.09782 42 23 16 3
313 I feel like it would have been easier to just not buy ice cream. 1.5238 0.11425 42 26 10 6
314 Well, you shouldn't have drank my oat milk. 1.5238 0.09782 42 23 16 3
315 It really ties the room together. 1.5238 0.09782 42 23 16 3
316 Weight watchers said it’ll go back to meetings after the pandemic 1.5227 0.11020 44 27 11 6
317 Somehow I feel like the mouse won 1.5227 0.10530 44 26 13 5
318 I really think this diet is going to work 1.5227 0.11020 44 27 11 6
319 Honey, you have to stop thinking of food as a reward. 1.5227 0.10530 44 26 13 5
320 I. Am. Tired. Of. Cooking. 1.5227 0.11490 44 28 9 7
321 I'm telling you, the cookies are THAT good. 1.5227 0.10015 44 25 15 4
322 Well, we did notice that AirBnB ad didn't describe the kitchen. 1.5227 0.10530 44 26 13 5
323 Don't fall into the dieting trap. 1.5227 0.11020 44 27 11 6
324 I think writing your name on your stuff would be enough. 1.5217 0.10186 46 27 14 5
325 This is more humane than the glue traps, right?! 1.5217 0.10186 46 27 14 5
326 Just 24 hours to go and all the coronavirus on our groceries should be dead 1.5217 0.10650 46 28 12 6
327 Or, we could just order in. 1.5217 0.10186 46 27 14 5
328 Paleo is ancient history, but I'm not sure about this Medieval Diet. 1.5217 0.11094 46 29 10 7
329 ..and Trump's tax returns are in there? 1.5217 0.10186 46 27 14 5
330 Or we could send him to boarding school. 1.5217 0.11094 46 29 10 7
331 So, if you want a snack, the keys are in the tiger cage out back. 1.5217 0.11933 46 31 6 9
332 So they really took lockdown seriously 1.5217 0.10650 46 28 12 6
333 My roommate is so dramatic, a passive aggressive note would've been fine. 1.5217 0.10650 46 28 12 6
334 Yeah, there’s a lot of prep, but I already lost seven pounds. 1.5217 0.10186 46 27 14 5
335 So how long will your brother be staying with us? 1.5217 0.09700 46 26 16 4
336 When you said the new diet was torture, I thought you meant it metaphorically. 1.5217 0.11522 46 30 8 8
337 I’m guessing this is where they have their sourdough starter. 1.5217 0.10186 46 27 14 5
338 Nope, if I know cheesecake is in there, I will still get to it. 1.5208 0.09411 48 27 17 4
339 Well...I guess we’re going back to lock down 1.5208 0.10731 48 30 11 7
340 I don't mean to be overly critical, but you forgot to fold the hand towel again. 1.5208 0.11136 48 31 9 8
341 Couldn't you just put your name on your leftovers? 1.5208 0.09870 48 28 15 5
342 I hope the escape rooms open soon. The kids ran out of ideas 1.5200 0.09996 50 30 14 6
343 What if four bears break in? 1.5200 0.09996 50 30 14 6
344 I think mom and dad may want us to move out. 1.5192 0.10086 52 32 13 7
345 Ladies first. 1.5152 0.13845 33 22 5 6
346 Aesthetically, I prefer the motivational magnet collection. 1.5152 0.12402 33 20 9 4
347 Or do you think it’d look better in wrought iron ? 1.5135 0.11378 37 22 11 4
348 let’s take a step back and reassess how we got here. 1.5135 0.09971 37 20 15 2
349 Couldn't you just have said" I am tired of cooking"? 1.5128 0.11542 39 24 10 5
350 So, you bought a new bathing suit? 1.5122 0.11646 41 26 9 6
351 I don’t think anyone will notice that the metal doesn’t match. 1.5122 0.11646 41 26 9 6
352 Looks good, the sitter will be here shortly. 1.5122 0.11110 41 25 11 5
353 I’m thinking we do takeout tonight. 1.5122 0.10547 41 24 13 4
354 Are you sure this is what Trump said to do? 1.5122 0.11110 41 25 11 5
355 I think that pretty much puts the "die" back into diet. 1.5122 0.12158 41 27 7 7
356 I’m getting the feeling that Mom and Dad want us to shelter-in-place somewhere else... 1.5122 0.12158 41 27 7 7
357 I know the AirBNB host said no kitchen privileges but I’m really hungry. 1.5122 0.11646 41 26 9 6
358 Have you thought about just joining Weight Watchers? 1.5116 0.10188 43 25 14 4
359 I think we need to add a moat. 1.5116 0.10717 43 26 12 5
360 It was free with the Keto diet plan. 1.5116 0.12169 43 29 6 8
361 I think I liked Weight Watchers better when it was just points. 1.5116 0.11705 43 28 8 7
362 I hear there might be some risks with the Houdini diet. 1.5116 0.10188 43 25 14 4
363 Every AirBnb has its quirks. 1.5116 0.11222 43 27 10 6
364 Whose turn is it to get the ice cream? 1.5116 0.10717 43 26 12 5
365 Now we'll know if your sister is eating all the ice cream. 1.5116 0.10188 43 25 14 4
366 Wait, it might be a trap. 1.5116 0.12169 43 29 6 8
367 I suppose we missed this during the open house? 1.5116 0.11222 43 27 10 6
368 The host really meant it when she said breakfast not included 1.5111 0.09859 45 26 15 4
369 Well I think we've babyproofed it. 1.5111 0.10358 45 27 13 5
370 No one will know where I hid my jewelry! 1.5111 0.10358 45 27 13 5
371 I'm starting to think getting a third roommate was a mistake. 1.5111 0.09332 45 25 17 3
372 I knew when they said ‘Help yourself to anything in the kitchen’ something felt wrong... 1.5111 0.10358 45 27 13 5
373 Didn't your folks say, 'Make yourselves at home'? 1.5111 0.10358 45 27 13 5
374 Kind of gives new meaning to that old phrase, “dying of hunger” doesn’t it? 1.5111 0.10358 45 27 13 5
375 I don't know. I think I prefer the stainless. 1.5111 0.10835 45 28 11 6
376 Now all we need to do is swallow the key. 1.5111 0.10358 45 27 13 5
377 The kids will still find a way. 1.5111 0.10358 45 27 13 5
378 So, we'll be ordering in? 1.5111 0.11291 45 29 9 7
379 I do value your art, Claire, but I’m starving. 1.5106 0.10029 47 28 14 5
380 Looks like our welcome has worn out. 1.5106 0.10480 47 29 12 6
381 It's your turn to check if we are out of milk 1.5106 0.09556 47 27 16 4
382 She wasn’t kidding, this diet is torture. 1.5106 0.09060 47 26 18 3
383 I don't know, dear. I think your mom should have opted for bariatric surgery. 1.5106 0.09556 47 27 16 4
384 I know I gave you the keys. 1.5106 0.09060 47 26 18 3
385 The good news is I lost 30 lbs. The bad news is that we lost my mother. 1.5106 0.10029 47 28 14 5
386 Well, here it is... the winning entry in our art contest "Describe Your Adolescence" ... 1.5106 0.10480 47 29 12 6
387 Just give me a second honey. I think I remember this one from Boy Scouts 1.5000 0.14086 28 18 6 4
388 Takeout it is 1.5000 0.10655 46 29 11 6
389 Did you remember to find the cat before throwing away the key? 1.5000 0.10535 44 27 12 5
390 I told you to stop eating her left-overs... 1.5000 0.10911 36 21 12 3
391 When I weighed the risk against going to the gym, it made sense. 1.5000 0.11099 46 30 9 7
392 But the liquor cabinet is still open right? 1.5000 0.10500 38 22 13 3
393 But is it too similar to Mitch and Betsy’s? 1.5000 0.11431 42 27 9 6
394 this is not what I meant by hunger games 1.5000 0.10742 40 24 12 4
395 Geez babe, I thought paleo was working fine. 1.5000 0.10911 42 26 11 5
396 Do you think this will stop me? 1.5000 0.09195 46 26 17 3
397 I think I prefer Mouse Trap the board game to Mouse Trap the diet. 1.5000 0.10535 44 27 12 5
398 I saw it on Noom. 1.5000 0.10535 44 27 12 5
399 This is just for show. I keep all the good stuff in the extra fridge in the garage. 1.5000 0.10911 36 21 12 3
400 We are going to get healthy or die trying. 1.5000 0.10535 44 27 12 5
401 Turns out it's cheaper than Weight Watchers, in the long run. 1.5000 0.10535 44 27 12 5
402 Honey- I said we need more "lox"... 1.5000 0.11026 44 28 10 6
403 Nice try, honey. But my mother's still coming this weekend. 1.5000 0.10535 44 27 12 5
404 Is this is what they meant by food security? 1.5000 0.09473 40 22 16 2
405 To be safe, let’s add a sign. 1.5000 0.10535 44 27 12 5
406 ‘I sometimes wonder if your sister ever forgave us for not watering the plants.’ 1.5000 0.10191 46 28 13 5
407 It’s not a diet. I just miss having to work for my next meal. 1.5000 0.10191 46 28 13 5
408 Let’s eat out tonight 1.5000 0.10191 46 28 13 5
409 You realize this is a bullcrap diet plan, don't you? 1.5000 0.12928 38 26 5 7
410 Well, the landlady did say no kitchen privileges. 1.5000 0.10742 40 24 12 4
411 It's almost like there's a message here, but it's such a mystery! 1.5000 0.09473 40 22 16 2
412 I think the medieval diet might be a little high in iron. 1.5000 0.10655 46 29 11 6
413 OK, before we start, you're sure there's Haagen-Dazs in there? 1.5000 0.11431 42 27 9 6
414 Finally, a diet that's honest about how torturous it is 1.5000 0.11323 40 25 10 5
415 These are the trappings for the Medieval Diet. Wait till you see what we can eat on Day 5. 1.5000 0.11875 40 26 8 6
416 The homes tour this year is a bit edgier. 1.5000 0.10742 40 24 12 4
417 I think Mom misunderstood lockdown. 1.5000 0.11875 40 26 8 6
418 Wouldn’t it just be easier to kick your roommate out? 1.5000 0.10314 48 30 12 6
419 Couldn't your mom have done Atkins or something? 1.5000 0.10127 40 23 14 3
420 Wow. Mom is getting serious about ending Dad's late night snacking. 1.5000 0.10127 40 23 14 3
421 The official end to the honor system. 1.5000 0.11026 44 28 10 6
422 Have I made it clear that I’d like to eat out tonight? 1.5000 0.10191 46 28 13 5
423 The Impaleo Diet 1.5000 0.12910 40 28 4 8
424 But what if there's chocolate ice cream? 1.5000 0.09706 46 27 15 4
425 So you told your mom we were stopping by? 1.5000 0.11616 36 22 10 4
426 I’ve tried every diet from Atkins to Weight Watchers, but I’ve finally found something that works for me. 1.5000 0.11323 40 25 10 5
427 All this and the Ben & Jerry’s was still gone by morning. 1.5000 0.12366 38 25 7 6
428 Are there any other impulses you need help controlling? 1.5000 0.10535 44 27 12 5
429 Don't be silly, my parents LOVE having you. 1.5000 0.10742 40 24 12 4
430 So next time, just ask before you eat my leftovers. 1.5000 0.09479 44 25 16 3
431 You said you’d write down the passwords. 1.5000 0.09789 42 24 15 3
432 I'm sure that whatever is in that refrigerator is simply to die for. 1.5000 0.11099 46 30 9 7
433 I put my name on that pizza slice and you just ignored it. 1.5000 0.10742 40 24 12 4
434 Gives new meaning to this whole "lockdown thing" doesn't it? 1.5000 0.15926 24 16 4 4
435 Wait...You keep your toilet paper in the refrigerator? 1.5000 0.10191 46 28 13 5
436 Looks like Dad went off his diet again. 1.5000 0.10911 42 26 11 5
437 Intermittent fasting just wasn’t cutting it. 1.5000 0.10742 40 24 12 4
438 I guess the owners who rented this house to us are really serious about us not using their food! 1.5000 0.11880 32 19 10 3
439 The sourdough starter is secure. 1.5000 0.09479 44 25 16 3
440 Looks like this airbnb doesn't include the kitchen. 1.4898 0.10153 49 31 12 6
441 I just need mustard. 1.4894 0.10029 47 29 13 5
442 I think they misunderstood when I asked for a kitchen renovation with all the trappings. 1.4894 0.10029 47 29 13 5
443 I'd kill for a snack right now. 1.4894 0.10480 47 30 11 6
444 There's a cheesecake in there that's to die for. 1.4894 0.10480 47 30 11 6
445 For now, yeah, but after your first trimester, who knows? 1.4894 0.09556 47 28 15 4
446 Pizza it is. 1.4894 0.10480 47 30 11 6
447 self discipline was never my long suit 1.4894 0.09060 47 27 17 3
448 I know its excessive but it is the only bottle of sanitizer we have! 1.4889 0.09859 45 27 14 4
449 So, I guess just counting calories is not an option. 1.4889 0.08775 45 25 18 2
450 We probably should have thought this through better ..... have you seen the cat? 1.4884 0.11222 43 28 9 6
451 Isn’t this taking the idea of ‘lock down’ a bit too far?” 1.4884 0.10188 43 26 13 4
452 If the President's formula is correct, then less access to food should eliminate hunger, right? 1.4884 0.10717 43 27 11 5
453 Whatever's inside will be as mediocre as the winning caption. 1.4884 0.12169 43 30 5 8
454 Fine, we can get take out 1.4878 0.09952 41 24 14 3
455 I think I liked it better when you would just slap the sandwich out of my hand 1.4878 0.09319 41 23 16 2
456 You definitely saw the mouse in the kitchen? 1.4878 0.11110 41 26 10 5
457 And now let me show you our toilet paper protection. 1.4878 0.12158 41 28 6 7
458 It seems that other kitchens have relaxed their lockdown restrictions by now. 1.4878 0.10547 41 25 12 4
459 They must have teenagers. 1.4878 0.10547 41 25 12 4
460 You're taking 'lock down' a bit too far. 1.4878 0.11646 41 27 8 6
461 Would adding explosives be overkill? 1.4878 0.10547 41 25 12 4
462 ‘Odd’? Wait until see the toilet. 1.4878 0.10547 41 25 12 4
463 Your last piece of cheesecake is safe. 1.4878 0.10547 41 25 12 4
464 Atkins wasn't working. 1.4878 0.12158 41 28 6 7
465 One way or another, you’re gonna lose 20 lbs. 1.4872 0.12113 39 26 7 6
466 Okay, now we can smoke that joint 1.4872 0.12113 39 26 7 6
467 Frankly, I think it works better in the bedroom. 1.4872 0.10942 39 24 11 4
468 The sour cream has gone VERY bad. 1.4872 0.10307 39 23 13 3
469 I know the vacation rental agreement said the kitchen was off limits, but this is a little extreme! 1.4872 0.11542 39 25 9 5
470 I dunno, somehow how I thought this would be more effective than Weight Watchers 1.4872 0.10307 39 23 13 3
471 I still think this might be overkill for a three pound weight gain. 1.4872 0.10307 39 23 13 3
472 I don’t know, this diet seems a little excessive. 1.4872 0.09630 39 22 15 2
473 How do you feel about ordering Thai tonight? 1.4872 0.11542 39 25 9 5
474 We need to start reading these Airbnb advertisements more closely. 1.4872 0.10942 39 24 11 4
475 I think this will be even more effective than intermittent fasting. 1.4872 0.10942 39 24 11 4
476 Yeah, but you said he was smarter than the average bear. 1.4865 0.13210 37 26 4 7
477 I guess we should pay our part of the rent. 1.4865 0.11378 37 23 10 4
478 Well, the rental agreement did say that the kitchen was off limits. 1.4865 0.10698 37 22 12 3
479 You’re right, this is easier than going to the gym. 1.4865 0.10698 37 22 12 3
480 First the Peloton machine, now this. Fuck you, Harold. 1.4865 0.12629 37 25 6 6
481 But the eggs are cage free. 1.4865 0.10698 37 22 12 3
482 I'd give my right arm for some ice cream" is an idiom Ted 1.4865 0.12629 37 25 6 6
483 The great thing is that it reflects how I feel about cooking. 1.4865 0.11378 37 23 10 4
484 To be fair, Airbnb did say "breakfast not included" 1.4865 0.09971 37 21 14 2
485 Of course it'll work. Tina lost twelve pounds in the first week. 1.4865 0.11378 37 23 10 4
486 I think I finally found a diet that works. 1.4857 0.11131 35 21 11 3
487 I thought you said there are "lox" in the fridge... 1.4857 0.12550 35 23 7 5
488 I've already lost 3 pounds. 1.4857 0.11862 35 22 9 4
489 Should we consider the possibility he locked himself inside . . .with the food? 1.4857 0.10348 35 20 13 2
490 Just wait until you see the bedroom. 1.4857 0.11862 35 22 9 4
491 Do you remember where we hid the take-out menus ? 1.4848 0.12402 33 21 8 4
492 Well, at least we'll be gluten-free together. 1.4848 0.12402 33 21 8 4
493 It was only one ant and it probably came in with the groceries. This is major overkill. 1.4848 0.12402 33 21 8 4
494 Or, we could just ask your brother to stay in a motel. 1.4848 0.11613 33 20 10 3
495 I mean, I like the colors 1.4839 0.12156 31 19 9 3
496 It's a new weight-loss program called Doom. 1.4839 0.13010 31 20 7 4
497 I guess that would explain why this place had all those low ratings on air-bnb 1.4815 0.13472 27 17 7 3
498 My new diet regimen is pretty strict 1.4783 0.10650 46 30 10 6
499 His tax returns are in there? 1.4783 0.10186 46 29 12 5
500 I think Mom would prefer we go out to eat. 1.4783 0.10650 46 30 10 6
501 I'm calling it the medieval diet. 1.4783 0.10186 46 29 12 5
502 Waddya think? It's called the Fort Knox diet. 1.4783 0.10650 46 30 10 6
503 So I put the chocolate chip cookies in the dishwasher 1.4783 0.09189 46 27 16 3
504 It's called the 'No Will Diet' 1.4783 0.09700 46 28 14 4
505 This will show the cat who's in charge here. 1.4773 0.10530 44 28 11 5
506 This should hold until November... he can’t tweet from in there, right? 1.4762 0.11425 42 28 8 6
507 How high were we!? 1.4762 0.10358 42 26 12 4
508 Don't you miss the days when we just had roaches? 1.4762 0.17754 21 15 2 4
509 It’s his backup supply of toilet paper and Purell. 1.4762 0.11425 42 28 8 6
510 Oh my god, I love the artist's allusion to how every part of life is now tied up at home. 1.4762 0.10358 42 26 12 4
511 Okay - now we’re ready for your brother to be in our social bubble 1.4750 0.09465 40 23 15 2
512 You didn’t move the bar cart, right? 1.4750 0.10734 40 25 11 4
513 this kitchen layout has a real 2020 feel to it 1.4750 0.09465 40 23 15 2
514 Should we just do takeout? 1.4750 0.11316 40 26 9 5
515 I'm not that hungry, you go first" 1.4750 0.10734 40 25 11 4
516 I think the spikes might be overkill. 1.4750 0.07996 40 21 19 0
517 Then again, we could just not buy ice cream, chips, and sweets in the first place. 1.4750 0.10734 40 25 11 4
518 Apparently it's the best diet plan on the market. 1.4750 0.10119 40 24 13 3
519 I hate to tell you, but these fad diets never work. 1.4750 0.10734 40 25 11 4
520 Can't we just buy a baby gate? 1.4750 0.11316 40 26 9 5
521 Geez, I said I'd stop drinking out of the carton. 1.4750 0.10119 40 24 13 3
522 This mouse thinks he's smart, but we'll show him. 1.4750 0.08761 40 22 17 1
523 That should keep the refrigerator from running. 1.4750 0.10734 40 25 11 4
524 s “He’s 16. You think that’ll be enough?” 1.4737 0.12921 38 27 4 7
525 I like that it’s already childproofed. 1.4737 0.11148 38 24 10 4
526 What else should we do to manage your blood sugar? 1.4737 0.10491 38 23 12 3
527 The best part of the Medieval diet is its simplicity. 1.4737 0.11769 38 25 8 5
528 So what exactly did you mean when you said "it's not one of those crazy diets"? 1.4737 0.11769 38 25 8 5
529 You're sure you don't want to just try portion control? 1.4737 0.09789 38 22 14 2
530 We're close, but I still think the teal spikes would work better. 1.4737 0.11769 38 25 8 5
531 Will the robbers guess where we hid the Purell? 1.4737 0.10491 38 23 12 3
532 What makes you think I can't stick to my diet? 1.4737 0.11148 38 24 10 4
533 And other than that, make yourself at home. 1.4722 0.10147 36 21 13 2
534 Bring on the hunger games! 1.4722 0.10901 36 22 11 3
535 It's the most effective diet I've ever been on. 1.4722 0.12271 36 24 7 5
536 Yeah, but is it too much? 1.4722 0.10901 36 22 11 3
537 Yeup, that ought to take care of the quarantine snacking 1.4722 0.11606 36 23 9 4
538 There’s half a bag of chips under the couch. Splitsies? 1.4722 0.10901 36 22 11 3
539 I still think the cat will open the door 1.4722 0.12271 36 24 7 5
540 Soooooooooo takeout? 1.4722 0.11606 36 23 9 4
541 Okay, now we can get high." 1.4722 0.11606 36 23 9 4
542 Looks like a trap. 1.4722 0.12901 36 25 5 6
543 Actually, there's a code that appears after the dishwasher gets emptied. 1.4722 0.10901 36 22 11 3
544 it didn't stop your family the last time 1.4722 0.09332 36 20 15 1
545 Our next scavenger clue is ‘in the fridge’. 1.4722 0.10901 36 22 11 3
546 They’ll never guess the food stash is buried in the yard. 1.4722 0.11606 36 23 9 4
547 I'm having second thoughts about the Inquisition Diet. 1.4722 0.10901 36 22 11 3
548 How many times do I need to apologize for eating your Ben and Jerry's? 1.4722 0.12271 36 24 7 5
549 Are you sure this got better user reviews than ADT? 1.4722 0.10901 36 22 11 3
550 Well, fewer dishes to wash. That's a plus. 1.4722 0.11606 36 23 9 4
551 This new diet is going to kill me. 1.4722 0.10901 36 22 11 3
552 Maybe we need to rethink this Game of Thrones diet. 1.4722 0.11606 36 23 9 4
553 It’s like they don’t even want us here anymore. 1.4722 0.10147 36 21 13 2
554 I still think we're missing something. 1.4722 0.10147 36 21 13 2
555 We should get a night light. 1.4722 0.12271 36 24 7 5
556 You DID say locks and bagels... 1.4722 0.11606 36 23 9 4
557 And your sure its a full pint Ben and Jerry's Rocky Road 1.4722 0.10901 36 22 11 3
558 What do you think... overkill? 1.4722 0.11606 36 23 9 4
559 It's the new impaleo diet. 1.4722 0.12271 36 24 7 5
560 « Just a glass. He won’t notice! » you said... 1.4706 0.12831 34 23 6 5
561 Yes, it’s a lot upfront but think of the long term savings 1.4706 0.09660 34 19 14 1
562 Let's order. 1.4706 0.11357 34 21 10 3
563 Wow, I really misunderstood all those article about food security 1.4706 0.11357 34 21 10 3
564 He’s only 4 years old, Tim - he didn’t know it was your Yoo-hoo. 1.4706 0.11357 34 21 10 3
565 So, you think that’s enough? 1.4706 0.11357 34 21 10 3
566 It might work. 1.4706 0.12116 34 22 8 4
567 It's all about cutting carbs. 1.4706 0.12831 34 23 6 5
568 Welcome to Weight Watchers Platinum. 1.4706 0.10543 34 20 12 2
569 Do you get the feeling my Mom and Dad would like us to leave? 1.4706 0.13507 34 24 4 6
570 And how much weight did you say you’ve lost already? 1.4706 0.12116 34 22 8 4
571 Do you think it would be easier to just give up weed? 1.4706 0.12116 34 22 8 4
572 Do you think your parents want us to move out? 1.4706 0.12116 34 22 8 4
573 On second thought, maybe we should just order a pizza. 1.4706 0.11357 34 21 10 3
574 No pain, no gain. Right? 1.4688 0.12688 32 21 7 4
575 I said “LOX”... 1.4688 0.12688 32 21 7 4
576 You are aware that I can still order carry out ? 1.4688 0.12688 32 21 7 4
577 I guess we're ordering in, or did you lock us out of our phones too? 1.4688 0.10984 32 19 11 2
578 They say we’ll take off 30 pounds by August. 1.4688 0.10025 32 18 13 1
579 Was it your idea to rent a bear-proof cabin? 1.4688 0.12688 32 21 7 4
580 Keto wasn't for me. I'm on the 'Houdini' 1.4681 0.11320 47 33 6 8
581 I'm feeling like take out. 1.4651 0.09615 43 26 14 3
582 Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition diet! 1.4651 0.10705 43 28 10 5
583 Annie was serious when she said she doesn’t like to share food. 1.4634 0.10533 41 26 11 4
584 Get a roommate!" they said. "It'll be fun!" they said 1.4634 0.11633 41 28 7 6
585 Okay, so takeout it is. 1.4634 0.09937 41 25 13 3
586 I guess it is take-out again tonight. 1.4634 0.10533 41 26 11 4
587 Perfect! Now the police will never look in the basement. 1.4634 0.10533 41 26 11 4
588 Very nice dear, but maybe we should keep in mind the whole point of "child-proofing"? 1.4634 0.11633 41 28 7 6
589 I'll hold your ankles. 1.4634 0.11097 41 27 9 5
590 I hadn't thought of dieting. That might work too. 1.4634 0.10533 41 26 11 4
591 I think your dad wants us to move out. 1.4634 0.10533 41 26 11 4
592 Did I mention my roommate was out of town? 1.4615 0.11527 39 26 8 5
593 The couple now understood why some online reviewers described this diet a “total trap” 1.4615 0.11527 39 26 8 5
594 It's a little drastic sure, but the quarantine fifteen isn't going to lose itself. 1.4615 0.10926 39 25 10 4
595 I think you misinterpreted "lockdown" 1.4615 0.11527 39 26 8 5
596 But her therapist said she had to WANT to stop eating. 1.4615 0.10926 39 25 10 4
597 We should have gone with green. 1.4615 0.10290 39 24 12 3
598 Do you think I should install the moat too? 1.4595 0.09951 37 22 13 2
599 Gwyneth Paltrow swears by it 1.4595 0.12003 37 25 7 5
600 Let’s order in 1.4595 0.11360 37 24 9 4
601 It's the first weight loss program to actually guarantee results. 1.4595 0.12003 37 25 7 5
602 Why do I feel like mom is trying to tell us something? 1.4595 0.11360 37 24 9 4
603 I’m hungry. You? 1.4595 0.12003 37 25 7 5
604 This house is perfect, but I have a feeling the seller is hiding something. 1.4595 0.12003 37 25 7 5
605 Maybe we should just ask Dr Welch to prescribe diet pills for her. 1.4595 0.11360 37 24 9 4
606 I told you. Food security is a thing. 1.4595 0.11360 37 24 9 4
607 This diet isn’t working. Let’s build a moat. 1.4595 0.12003 37 25 7 5
608 I think this means your parents want us to order our own groceries now. 1.4595 0.12003 37 25 7 5
609 Can't we just join Weight Watchers 1.4595 0.12003 37 25 7 5
610 You may be taking lock down too seriously. 1.4571 0.11841 35 23 8 4
611 It’s called “the dungeon diet”. 1.4571 0.12531 35 24 6 5
612 I thought I saw a mouse 1.4571 0.11841 35 23 8 4
613 Look, I said I was sorry that I ate the plums you were saving, this is over the top 1.4571 0.08543 35 19 16 0
614 I’m honestly surprised you only lost five pounds. 1.4571 0.11841 35 23 8 4
615 I take it Karen “didn’t see” your name on the Tupperware one too many times? 1.4571 0.12531 35 24 6 5
616 You try. 1.4571 0.11841 35 23 8 4
617 I don’t know if it’ll work, Bob. They’re teenagers. 1.4571 0.11109 35 22 10 3
618 Hmm... I prefer the bear traps first and THEN the spikes. 1.4571 0.12531 35 24 6 5
619 Brooke, that’s not what I meant by a lockdown diet 1.4571 0.11841 35 23 8 4
620 Where do you think you put the keys? 1.4571 0.13184 35 25 4 6
621 Well, it's still better than that time he switched to Soylent 1.4571 0.11841 35 23 8 4
622 I've lost 10 pounds just this month, though about half of that was blood. 1.4571 0.11841 35 23 8 4
623 I think it's enough, but it's your call. She's Your mother. 1.4571 0.11109 35 22 10 3
624 Honey, if you wanted to go out to dinner you should have just said so. 1.4571 0.11109 35 22 10 3
625 Yeah, let's just get delivery. 1.4571 0.10325 35 21 12 2
626 Well, you've successfully put the die in diet. 1.4571 0.12531 35 24 6 5
627 You’re sure this was cheaper than Weight Watchers? 1.4571 0.11109 35 22 10 3
628 I scream for ice cream 1.4571 0.12531 35 24 6 5
629 I only saw one mouse. 1.4571 0.11109 35 22 10 3
630 Will you just admit you ate my cheesecake? 1.4571 0.10325 35 21 12 2
631 I told you this diet would kill us. 1.4571 0.11841 35 23 8 4
632 Yom Kippur will be over at sundown." 1.4571 0.11841 35 23 8 4
633 Two can play this game, let’s trip the circuit breaker to the frig. 1.4571 0.12531 35 24 6 5
634 Never have food and sex seemed so closely aligned. 1.4571 0.08543 35 19 16 0
635 It's part of the Houdini diet plan. 1.4571 0.10325 35 21 12 2
636 Who knew raising teenage boys could be so challenging? 1.4571 0.11109 35 22 10 3
637 I'm guessing you want take out again tonight? 1.4571 0.12531 35 24 6 5
638 still not childproof... 1.4571 0.10325 35 21 12 2
639 This diet plan just might work 1.4571 0.11841 35 23 8 4
640 You have really committed to this fasting thing 1.4571 0.11109 35 22 10 3
641 I don't know how, but our teenage son will still find a way. 1.4571 0.11841 35 23 8 4
642 Guess there's no snacking before dinner. 1.4571 0.11841 35 23 8 4
643 Can't you just do a Sudoku each time you want a snack? 1.4571 0.11109 35 22 10 3
644 He’s on a serious diet 1.4571 0.11841 35 23 8 4
645 I'm getting this feeling you want to order take-out tonight. 1.4571 0.11109 35 22 10 3
646 Well Dave said he lost twelve pounds in a day” “I don’t think we should count his left leg 1.4571 0.11109 35 22 10 3
647 I knew that I shouldn't have told you that you looked fat in those jeans. 1.4571 0.11109 35 22 10 3
648 So much for the "complete access" that AirBnB promised. 1.4571 0.11841 35 23 8 4
649 Or, y'know, we could just start jogging again. 1.4571 0.11109 35 22 10 3
650 I’m fine with ordering in. 1.4545 0.10740 33 20 11 2
651 I am guessing that dinner will be a little late tonight. 1.4545 0.10740 33 20 11 2
652 And that's how my new diet works! 1.4545 0.09997 44 28 12 4
653 Really Honey? All this to guard the yeast? 1.4545 0.10740 33 20 11 2
654 I don’t know. It still may be a little subtle for your Mother. 1.4545 0.11589 33 21 9 3
655 What do you think? Take out? 1.4545 0.09819 33 19 13 1
656 You have to admit, this is the first diet that’s really worked 1.4545 0.11589 33 21 9 3
657 I know, but apart from that, my roommates are really nice. 1.4545 0.11589 33 21 9 3
658 Yeah Paleo wasn’t restrictive enough for me. 1.4545 0.10740 33 20 11 2
659 Did you eat Marge’s lunch again? 1.4545 0.13122 33 23 5 5
660 I don't know. My father tried that when I was a kid, and my mother still cooked dinner. 1.4545 0.11589 33 21 9 3
661 You know what, I think I might be in the mood for take-out. 1.4545 0.10513 44 29 10 5
662 On the bright side, I've already lost 10 pounds" 1.4545 0.09454 44 27 14 3
663 Remember that time you said you would do anything for me? 1.4545 0.11589 33 21 9 3
664 THAT’S why they call it “Death By Chocolate.” 1.4524 0.10338 42 27 11 4
665 Now that I think of it, the ad did say the kitchen is not available for guests at this time 1.4524 0.11407 42 29 7 6
666 But are the spikes vegan? 1.4516 0.13787 31 22 4 5
667 Ok, I see your point. On the other hand, they did say, ‘mi casa, su casa’. 1.4516 0.11206 31 19 10 2
668 I still think your mother will try to help out in the kitchen. 1.4516 0.13787 31 22 4 5
669 ... on the plus side, I've lost seven pounds in the first week 1.4516 0.11206 31 19 10 2
670 So all this stuff came with the new diet? 1.4516 0.12984 31 21 6 4
671 I’ve lost three pounds, but it could just be the blood loss. 1.4516 0.12984 31 21 6 4
672 I think we need to get a cat. 1.4500 0.10712 40 26 10 4
673 Honey, I don't think this is what the Governor meant by "lockdown"... 1.4500 0.11294 40 27 8 5
674 I know we’ve gone into lockdown, but this is excessive. 1.4500 0.11848 40 28 6 6
675 Foodini 1.4500 0.16975 20 14 3 3
676 It’s only for a few weeks, just until the new Peloton arrives. 1.4500 0.11294 40 27 8 5
677 Is this punishment for not wearing masks to dinner 1.4500 0.10712 40 26 10 4
678 Honey, this has gone too far. I ate your pizza, there was never really a bear. 1.4500 0.10712 40 26 10 4
679 Really getting serious about the new diet, huh? 1.4500 0.11294 40 27 8 5
680 You think it's a trap? 1.4500 0.10096 40 25 12 3
681 Must be a trap. 1.4483 0.14542 29 21 3 5
682 Dieting? 1.4483 0.11730 29 18 9 2
683 Eating disorder? 1.4483 0.13669 29 20 5 4
684 I don’t think they understood Airbnb when they signed up. 1.4483 0.13669 29 20 5 4
685 It's called the Guantánamo Diet 1.4483 0.12737 29 19 7 3
686 I'd like to see Brett use my artisan prosciutto on his damn sandwiches now. 1.4483 0.11730 29 18 9 2
687 No, I think you’ve got it pretty well covered. 1.4483 0.11730 29 18 9 2
688 Why didn't you just stop buying the food in the first place? 1.4483 0.14542 29 21 3 5
689 Are you sure that's where the Twinkies are? 1.4483 0.11730 29 18 9 2
690 I don't know, it kind of just makes me want it more 1.4483 0.12737 29 19 7 3
691 Now that we're done, do you wanna get some takeaway? 1.4474 0.11123 38 25 9 4
692 What is Houdini doing in our frig? 1.4474 0.11745 38 26 7 5
693 Let’s just go out to eat tonight. 1.4474 0.10464 38 24 11 3
694 I'll set the table 1.4474 0.11123 38 25 9 4
695 Is this the Rube Goldberg diet? 1.4474 0.11123 38 25 9 4
696 What will you do for a Klondike bar? 1.4444 0.11578 36 24 8 4
697 Nice! Now Let’s order out 1.4444 0.11578 36 24 8 4
698 It’s cheaper than a Peloton. 1.4444 0.10870 36 23 10 3
699 Well this certainty was not mentioned in the AirBnB listing. 1.4444 0.11578 36 24 8 4
700 - :Wow! You are really serious about this lockdown diet, aren't you?" 1.4444 0.12244 36 25 6 5
701 You’re not hungry, just thirsty 1.4444 0.11578 36 24 8 4
702 I refuse to gain another pound during this quarantine 1.4444 0.11578 36 24 8 4
703 So, this is what lockdown literally looks like 1.4444 0.11578 36 24 8 4
704 You really think this is better than WeightWatchers? 1.4444 0.09296 36 21 14 1
705 I used to just write my name on my lunch and no one bothered it 1.4444 0.10870 36 23 10 3
706 I vote for takeout 1.4444 0.10114 36 22 12 2
707 Wouldn’t it be easier just to stop buying ice cream. 1.4444 0.12876 36 26 4 6
708 Huum We may need to rethink this. 1.4444 0.12327 27 17 8 2
709 This isn't what I meant when I asked you to childproof the kitchen. 1.4444 0.10870 36 23 10 3
710 Maybe you should just lay off the Ambien. 1.4444 0.10870 36 23 10 3
711 ....come to think of it the alert may have said get food for lockdown not lockdown your food... 1.4444 0.10870 36 23 10 3
712 Don’t you think counting points might be easier” 1.4444 0.11578 36 24 8 4
713 No, I'm pretty sure it's YOUR turn to get the ice cream... 1.4444 0.10114 36 22 12 2
714 Or, what if we just stopped buying sweets? 1.4444 0.10114 36 22 12 2
715 'I ate her last mini-flan..." 1.4444 0.10870 36 23 10 3
716 I don't think this is what Carol meant by "babyproof". 1.4444 0.12244 36 25 6 5
717 We’ll definitely lose our quarantine weight by the next quarantine! 1.4444 0.11578 36 24 8 4
718 We should have had lunch first. 1.4444 0.09296 36 21 14 1
719 This soesn't look like the pictures in the Air BNB ad. 1.4444 0.11578 36 24 8 4
720 They don't call it the "Killer Diet" for nothing... 1.4444 0.10870 36 23 10 3
721 The listing did mention antique kitchen fixtures. 1.4444 0.12327 27 17 8 2
722 ...but is it baby proof _enough_? 1.4444 0.12244 36 25 6 5
723 This should help with the snacking between meals problem. 1.4444 0.10870 36 23 10 3
724 You think it's enough? 1.4444 0.20166 18 14 0 4
725 Yeah, but I thought you said he was smarter than the average bear. 1.4444 0.10114 36 22 12 2
726 So how do you figure I gained 11 pounds? 1.4444 0.09296 36 21 14 1
727 ...or you can stop taking Ambien. 1.4444 0.12244 36 25 6 5
728 I guess Paul noticed we took his lunch. 1.4444 0.12244 36 25 6 5
729 Wanna order out 1.4444 0.12244 36 25 6 5
730 We’ve made it this far. It’d be a shame to give up now. 1.4444 0.11578 36 24 8 4
731 OK, if they get out again, I'm moving. 1.4444 0.10870 36 23 10 3
732 We could send the kids in. 1.4444 0.11578 36 24 8 4
733 It was just a cupcake 1.4412 0.12800 34 24 5 5
734 And where did you put the keys? 1.4412 0.12083 34 23 7 4
735 this actually makes it more tempting 1.4412 0.12800 34 24 5 5
736 How sure are you, that there is ice cream in there” 1.4412 0.12083 34 23 7 4
737 It's an easy diet to follow really. 1.4412 0.12083 34 23 7 4
738 Blue cabinets would really brighten it up. 1.4412 0.12083 34 23 7 4
739 Okay...but this is just until lunch right? 1.4412 0.12083 34 23 7 4
740 if we lose a leg that still counts as weight loss right? 1.4412 0.12083 34 23 7 4
741 The stench tells me Houdini's still in there. 1.4412 0.12083 34 23 7 4
742 Now I get why it’s called the Houdini diet. 1.4412 0.11322 34 22 9 3
743 What if we try Keto instead... 1.4412 0.11322 34 22 9 3
744 They didn't mention this in their Air B&B website 1.4412 0.12800 34 24 5 5
745 It's a combination of the slow food movement and fasting. 1.4412 0.11322 34 22 9 3
746 Can't help but feel you are trying to control me. 1.4412 0.12083 34 23 7 4
747 Do you think it might have been easier to throw out the bathroom scale? 1.4412 0.12083 34 23 7 4
748 Umm...you know it’s an airborne pathogen, right? 1.4412 0.12800 34 24 5 5
749 What time is your brother arriving? 1.4412 0.12083 34 23 7 4
750 I say we go for it... 1.4412 0.12083 34 23 7 4
751 You know, honey, the master bedroom was nice, but I don't love the kitchen 1.4412 0.12083 34 23 7 4
752 I still think joining Weight Watchers would have been easier. 1.4412 0.11322 34 22 9 3
753 True, but I've lost 30 pounds. 1.4412 0.12083 34 23 7 4
754 Oh,so you want to go out? 1.4412 0.11322 34 22 9 3
755 What were we thinking when we agreed to this? 1.4412 0.10505 34 21 11 2
756 Of course I trust you. 1.4412 0.12083 34 23 7 4
757 This may give them the hint to go buy their own food. 1.4412 0.11322 34 22 9 3
758 Too subtle? That's what I was thinking, too. 1.4412 0.11322 34 22 9 3
759 How badly do you need a beer? 1.4412 0.10505 34 21 11 2
760 Ironically, we have cage free chicken 1.4412 0.11322 34 22 9 3
761 The paleo diet wasn't working for me, so I decided to go medieval. 1.4412 0.11322 34 22 9 3
762 ...and if we don't catch the perpetrator, we just follow the blood. 1.4412 0.12083 34 23 7 4
763 Well, yes. I did say dieting is torture . . . 1.4412 0.12083 34 23 7 4
764 It’s called the elimination diet 1.4412 0.12083 34 23 7 4
765 It is called the ultimate do or die diet. 1.4412 0.10505 34 21 11 2
766 I just don't feel safe yet. You? 1.4412 0.12083 34 23 7 4
767 It won't stop her, but it should slow her down. 1.4412 0.09619 34 20 13 1
768 Hacksaw or drive-through? 1.4412 0.12083 34 23 7 4
769 A post it note would have made the same point. 1.4412 0.10505 34 21 11 2
770 Okay, now let’s hide. 1.4412 0.12800 34 24 5 5
771 But, if you didn't do it and I didn't... who did? 1.4412 0.11322 34 22 9 3
772 When you told me you can’t cook, I didn’t expect this. 1.4390 0.10505 41 27 10 4
773 I’ve already lost ten pounds 1.4390 0.09272 41 25 14 2
774 Think we’re taking that food safety course too seriously? 1.4390 0.10505 41 27 10 4
775 I love the welcome you prepared for Uncle Houdini. 1.4390 0.10505 41 27 10 4
776 This is still safer than going to a restaurant. 1.4390 0.10505 41 27 10 4
777 This medieval diet is much harder than paleo. 1.4390 0.09907 41 26 12 3
778 I guess tonight we'll find out which one of us has the midnight-snacking and sleep-walking problem. 1.4390 0.09907 41 26 12 3
779 They call it the extremely delayed gratification diet. 1.4390 0.10505 41 27 10 4
780 Do you think he's still in there? 1.4390 0.10505 41 27 10 4
781 I know. Setting this up really made me hungry. 1.4390 0.10505 41 27 10 4
782 Even Houdini lost weight on this diet. 1.4390 0.10505 41 27 10 4
783 Do you think Mom knows we've been drinking her milk? 1.4390 0.09907 41 26 12 3
784 I think he's on a new diet again. 1.4375 0.10941 32 20 10 2
785 It's the post-quarantine diet. 1.4375 0.12650 32 22 6 4
786 I meant the downstairs refrigerator. 1.4375 0.11827 32 21 8 3
787 Where did you hear about this diet? 1.4375 0.10941 32 20 10 2
788 It's very effective, it's the Houdini Diet. 1.4375 0.10941 32 20 10 2
789 Now I think we're ready to list with Airbnb 1.4375 0.12650 32 22 6 4
790 It's not easy keeping on a diet. 1.4375 0.10941 32 20 10 2
791 On the other hand, there is a piece of chocolate cake in there........ 1.4359 0.10256 39 25 11 3
792 I’m not hungry. 1.4359 0.11497 39 27 7 5
793 I’m game if you are. 1.4359 0.12070 39 28 5 6
794 That oughta lock in the freshness." 1.4348 0.09657 46 30 12 4
795 So that’s how she stays so thin 1.4333 0.11430 30 19 9 2
796 Again I apologize. I don't really think you have a 'Dad Bod'. 1.4333 0.14129 30 22 3 5
797 Let’s go to your place? 1.4333 0.11430 30 19 9 2
798 I think I see a way in. 1.4333 0.11430 30 19 9 2
799 I call it the lose'weight or lose a limb diet. 1.4333 0.12395 30 20 7 3
800 Uber Eats or Grubhub? 1.4333 0.11430 30 19 9 2
801 Well...you've upped your intermittent fasting game. 1.4333 0.11430 30 19 9 2
802 Upper East side location AND built-in weight-loss system? Sold! 1.4333 0.10376 30 18 11 1
803 On second thought, let's eat out. 1.4333 0.11430 30 19 9 2
804 Your turn to cook dinner. 1.4324 0.10641 37 24 10 3
805 This is probably what she meant by 'my recipe will always remain my secret'' 1.4324 0.11324 37 25 8 4
806 I’m giving the Houdini diet a try. 1.4324 0.10641 37 24 10 3
807 Uh...takeout, again tonight? 1.4324 0.10641 37 24 10 3
808 Maybe you’re right, I mean the third padlock on the fridge may be a bit much. 1.4286 0.11066 35 23 9 3
809 What’s our safe word again? 1.4286 0.11066 35 23 9 3
810 Give me half an hour and I’ll have the ice cream 1.4286 0.11066 35 23 9 3
811 Peloton bike might have been cheaper after all 1.4286 0.09425 35 21 13 1
812 It doesn’t sound like you turned off the ice maker. 1.4286 0.09425 35 21 13 1
813 No pain, no gain 1.4286 0.13041 28 19 6 3
814 Wait. Where’s my phone ? 1.4286 0.12492 35 25 5 5
815 You know the toilet paper doesn’t need to be refrigerated, right? 1.4286 0.10278 35 22 11 2
816 Maybe we should just cut carbs. 1.4286 0.10278 35 22 11 2
817 So we should start seeing results any day now 1.4286 0.11066 35 23 9 3
818 Maybe you could just label your food? 1.4286 0.13041 28 19 6 3
819 We're all tired of isolation but if you think this is going to convince me to go out to eat you're mistaken. 1.4286 0.11801 35 24 7 4
820 So Ivanka...does everyone in the family keep their tax returns in the freezer? 1.4286 0.11801 35 24 7 4
821 Shouldn’t we just join Weight Watchers? 1.4286 0.11801 35 24 7 4
822 The key to any good diet is self discipline. 1.4286 0.10278 35 22 11 2
823 All is fair in love, war and flat sharing 1.4286 0.11801 35 24 7 4
824 It’s called ‘Harm to Table’ 1.4286 0.11801 35 24 7 4
825 Really puts the "die" in diet. 1.4286 0.11801 35 24 7 4
826 Remember when carbs were safe? 1.4286 0.11066 35 23 9 3
827 Those Airbnb reviews make a lot more sense now. 1.4286 0.12492 35 25 5 5
828 No more magically disappearing Pinot Noir... 1.4286 0.11066 35 23 9 3
829 I think we've found the toilet paper stash. 1.4286 0.11066 35 23 9 3
830 And if you get hungry, feel free to help yourself to whatever's in the fridge. 1.4286 0.10278 35 22 11 2
831 Yup! This is what they do when you miss a monthly payment 1.4286 0.10278 35 22 11 2
832 Of course, we could also address the raccoon issue by keeping the back door closed. 1.4286 0.11066 35 23 9 3
833 Really emphasizes the "die" in diet. 1.4286 0.10278 35 22 11 2
834 Am I really hungry or just bored? 1.4286 0.11066 35 23 9 3
835 You're not big on sharing, are you, Phil? 1.4286 0.12492 35 25 5 5
836 Are you sure this is enough, or should we also build a cage around it? 1.4286 0.10278 35 22 11 2
837 Let me guess. You forgot to pay for the remodel. 1.4286 0.12492 35 25 5 5
838 I don’t think this is what they meant when they told us to ‘baby proof’ our home. 1.4286 0.11066 35 23 9 3
839 I was thinking of adding a moat... too much? 1.4286 0.11066 35 23 9 3
840 Apparently, the previous tenants starved to death. 1.4286 0.11066 35 23 9 3
841 It's a new diet plan. I can eat whatever I want, I just have to get to it first. 1.4286 0.11066 35 23 9 3
842 Kyle said he lost 10 pounds on this, but I think it was mainly from his leg. 1.4286 0.13041 28 19 6 3
843 Couldn't you just put your name on your stuff? 1.4286 0.11801 35 24 7 4
844 It’s a Frigidare-you. 1.4286 0.12492 35 25 5 5
845 I’m afraid to see the wine cellar. 1.4286 0.11801 35 24 7 4
846 Wait! This could be a trap. 1.4286 0.11066 35 23 9 3
847 This is not the security system I had in mind. 1.4286 0.08487 35 20 15 0
848 Now we need to child-proof the bathroom. 1.4286 0.11984 28 18 8 2
849 Well now I'm just craving a bear claw. 1.4286 0.12492 35 25 5 5
850 Honey,please don't think I'm being critical,but do you actually understand how small viruses are? 1.4286 0.11801 35 24 7 4
851 Or, we could just not buy ice cream... 1.4286 0.10278 35 22 11 2
852 Listen, I keep telling you, nobody wants your gluten-free crap. 1.4286 0.11801 35 24 7 4
853 I think we should add a moat. 1.4286 0.10278 35 22 11 2
854 Well, it was either this or another Weight Watchers meeting. 1.4286 0.13041 28 19 6 3
855 I think it's safe now to let the kids have their party here tonight. 1.4286 0.11984 28 18 8 2
856 I guess when they said "extreme dieting" they meant it. 1.4286 0.11066 35 23 9 3
857 Maybe it will be enough to just lock his bedroom door. 1.4286 0.11066 35 23 9 3
858 I believe this is the work of the National Restaurant Association. 1.4286 0.11066 35 23 9 3
859 Its the Wile E Coyote diet 1.4286 0.11066 35 23 9 3
860 You want to just order in? 1.4286 0.10278 35 22 11 2
861 Maybe we should have made dinner first. 1.4286 0.11066 35 23 9 3
862 So I see you're getting tired of my cooking. 1.4286 0.11801 35 24 7 4
863 They say it helps to starve a virus. 1.4286 0.11801 35 24 7 4
864 I told you that this diet was going to be strict 1.4286 0.11801 35 24 7 4
865 My mother has always been serious about Yom Kippur. 1.4286 0.10278 35 22 11 2
866 Gotta love this new escape room diet.... 1.4286 0.11066 35 23 9 3
867 I now see what they meant by "The Escape Room Diet". 1.4286 0.13041 28 19 6 3
868 But will it stop me at midnight? 1.4286 0.10824 28 17 10 1
869 I'm hoping this is to keep someone out and not in. 1.4286 0.10278 35 22 11 2
870 It's a zero tolerance diet program. 1.4286 0.11066 35 23 9 3
871 Honey, don't feel you have to commit to the same diet as me. 1.4286 0.10278 35 22 11 2
872 Very Palaeolithic 1.4250 0.10056 40 26 11 3
873 Well, that takes care of the kitchen. Now let’s baby-proof the living room. 1.4250 0.10674 40 27 9 4
874 Hmmm, what do you think about adding a flame thrower? 1.4242 0.11539 33 22 8 3
875 They didn’t mention this on Airbnb. 1.4242 0.12332 33 23 6 4
876 That corner near the sink is a little bare...you know if we don’t take care of it now, they’ll find a way in. 1.4242 0.10687 33 21 10 2
877 I'm feeling a snack attack coming on. 1.4242 0.12332 33 23 6 4
878 Now we'll be forced to find healthy coping mechanisms! 1.4242 0.12332 33 23 6 4
879 Now I know what the agent meant when she said it had a kitchen to die for. 1.4242 0.12332 33 23 6 4
880 Don't sugar coat it. What's this about ? 1.4242 0.10687 33 21 10 2
881 Wouldn’t it be easier to just clean the fridge? 1.4242 0.11539 33 22 8 3
882 Nice message. Everything but the sink and dishwasher? Really? 1.4242 0.11539 33 22 8 3
883 Our hosts don't seem to trust us in these difficult times. They only went out to the store! 1.4242 0.10687 33 21 10 2
884 So that's one difference with AirD&D... 1.4242 0.11539 33 22 8 3
885 Well - It is cheaper than the gastric bypass. 1.4231 0.12616 26 17 7 2
886 These Airbnb House Rules are getting out of hand. 1.4211 0.10419 38 25 10 3
887 It's foreplay. Started with our bedroom chains. Got carried away. We'll fight for our meal like the animals we are. Lick our wounds. You, mine and I, yours. Still bleeding, to the Baldacchino Supreme bed for some Shibari rope bondage. Quelle nuit! 1.4211 0.13925 19 12 6 1
888 Fortunately, the liquor cabinet is in the dining room. 1.4211 0.11081 38 26 8 4
889 I understand the reasons, I understand the installation. But I can't wrap my head around how the cats paid for all this. 1.4211 0.10419 38 25 10 3
890 So far, I've lost 21 pounds. And a couple of fingers. 1.4211 0.10419 38 25 10 3
891 I think we need some barbed wire. 1.4194 0.10133 31 19 11 1
892 You think YOU have roaches....? 1.4194 0.11143 31 20 9 2
893 You probably should of interviewed your new roommate a teeny bit longer. 1.4194 0.12070 31 21 7 3
894 How bad do you want it? 1.4194 0.11143 31 20 9 2
895 The gauntlet diet...it's the rage in Paris. 1.4194 0.12930 31 22 5 4
896 Are you sure you don't just want to exercise willpower? 1.4194 0.10133 31 19 11 1
897 Wait until you see where we keep the toilet paper. 1.4194 0.12070 31 21 7 3
898 You did ask for the most efficient method to stop your quarantine snacking 1.4194 0.10133 31 19 11 1
899 Do you think Mom is on her diet kick again? 1.4194 0.11143 31 20 9 2
900 I think you misunderstood when I said 'bear with me.' 1.4194 0.12930 31 22 5 4
901 A squirrel could figure it out 1.4194 0.12930 31 22 5 4
902 Your leg can take it... Then I'll crawl across your back and gnaw on that smallest chain. 1.4194 0.12930 31 22 5 4
903 Supporting local restaurants since 2020 1.4167 0.10059 36 23 11 2
904 Mom's preparing for her next diet. 1.4167 0.10820 36 24 9 3
905 July looks fun 1.4167 0.10820 36 24 9 3
906 Well, now I'm hungry again. 1.4167 0.09237 36 22 13 1
907 We probably should've put the food in first 1.4167 0.10820 36 24 9 3
908 I shouldnt have left my birth control in the fridge this morning 1.4167 0.11530 36 25 7 4
909 So you think this will actually keep the teenagers out? 1.4167 0.10059 36 23 11 2
910 I think I locked the keys in the fridge. 1.4167 0.12199 36 26 5 5
911 You think maybe a gym membership woulda been a better idea?... 1.4167 0.10820 36 24 9 3
912 Well, let's just go with take-out tonight. 1.4167 0.10059 36 23 11 2
913 Let the hunger games commence 1.4167 0.10820 36 24 9 3
914 Yuh think maybe Mom was fo' real when she said we had to buy our own groceries from now on? 1.4167 0.10820 36 24 9 3
915 Dont! I think it's a trap. 1.4167 0.10059 36 23 11 2
916 I still think we're better off putting our money in the bank. 1.4167 0.10059 36 23 11 2
917 I'm not sure their offer of "help yourself" was sincere. 1.4167 0.10820 36 24 9 3
918 So, you're going to take this diet seriously, for a change? 1.4167 0.10059 36 23 11 2
919 I take it that you want to order in. 1.4167 0.10820 36 24 9 3
920 Maybe it would have been simpler to hire a different babysitter. 1.4167 0.10820 36 24 9 3
921 Who's dying for some gelato? 1.4167 0.10059 36 23 11 2
922 How badly do you want that ice cream bar? 1.4167 0.09237 36 22 13 1
923 Maybe it's time we moved out of Hell's Kitchen. 1.4167 0.10820 36 24 9 3
924 Next time you get a craving for a midnight sandwich, you have to ask yourself one question: "Do I feel lucky?" 1.4167 0.11530 36 25 7 4
925 Well, there's always the fridge in the garage. 1.4167 0.11530 36 25 7 4
926 Any kid can put drawings on the fridge. Ours does performance art! 1.4167 0.10059 36 23 11 2
927 I'm getting more serious about those last five pounds. 1.4167 0.10820 36 24 9 3
928 I think the cheesecake will be well worth it. 1.4167 0.10059 36 23 11 2
929 Well, we built it. Let's see if they come. 1.4167 0.10059 36 23 11 2
930 This just makes me hungry. 1.4167 0.11530 36 25 7 4
931 Like it? It's Weight Watchers' new 'ultra' program. I dropped three pounds just setting it up. 1.4167 0.11530 36 25 7 4
932 You know what they say, "build a better mouse trap..." 1.4167 0.13347 24 16 6 2
933 Wouldn't it be easier just not to buy cookies? 1.4167 0.09237 36 22 13 1
934 That should buy us enough time to Google "Zuul." 1.4146 0.10462 41 28 9 4
935 I though I ordered four bear traps. Prime continues to disappoint. 1.4138 0.11657 29 19 8 2
936 Kim Kardashian posted about it. Apparently you can lose 15 lbs in a day! 1.4138 0.12670 29 20 6 3
937 I meant lox. With an x 1.4138 0.13607 29 21 4 4
938 Let's see little Mikey try to get those Thin Mints now 1.4138 0.11657 29 19 8 2
939 Yeah, you’re right. The alligators would’ve been overkill. 1.4138 0.10548 29 18 10 1
940 - Pretty proud of my progress in learning self-control 1.4138 0.09308 29 17 12 0
941 It’s not a diet, it’s more of a lifestyle change 1.4138 0.10548 29 18 10 1
942 Mom said the key is in the most obvious place. 1.4138 0.12670 29 20 6 3
943 ‘When you told me something’s living in our fridge I thought you were talking about your sourdough starter.’ 1.4138 0.12670 29 20 6 3
944 Roommate or no roommate, it’s still a good price for Chelsea 1.4138 0.12670 29 20 6 3
945 Maybe Weight Watchers WOULD have been easier 1.4138 0.10548 29 18 10 1
946 I feel like its not enough 1.4138 0.12670 29 20 6 3
947 Did you forget to feed the sourdough starter? 1.4138 0.13607 29 21 4 4
948 Remember I told you about my new diet... 1.4138 0.11657 29 19 8 2
949 Maybe it really is time to stop snacking 1.4138 0.11657 29 19 8 2
950 So what’s for dinner?” “...well I already ate the keys. 1.4138 0.12670 29 20 6 3
951 Honey, you forgot the electric fence again! 1.4138 0.10548 29 18 10 1
952 I guess this means we're getting take-out tonight. 1.4138 0.11657 29 19 8 2
953 Ok, here’s the thing. It wasn’t really a gigantic, hairy monster that broke into our house and ate the last two bites of your sandwich... 1.4138 0.12670 29 20 6 3
954 Be careful. It's a trap. 1.4138 0.12670 29 20 6 3
955 Remember when I asked you if these pants made my ass look fat? 1.4138 0.11657 29 19 8 2
956 I just think it's a trap. 1.4138 0.13607 29 21 4 4
957 It's even more interesting with the lights off. 1.4138 0.11657 29 19 8 2
958 I can’t decide if I’m turned on or just hungry. 1.4138 0.11657 29 19 8 2
959 By the time we manage to get to it, everything will be spoiled anyway. 1.4138 0.12670 29 20 6 3
960 ...or we could just get a cat 1.4138 0.13607 29 21 4 4
961 Keto felt really daunting at first too... 1.4138 0.12670 29 20 6 3
962 Let's order pizza 1.4138 0.10548 29 18 10 1
963 I’m starting to think you’re serious about loosing weight... 1.4138 0.11657 29 19 8 2
964 What do you think, is it enough? 1.4138 0.13607 29 21 4 4
965 Yes, it's definitely a deterrent, but don't you think just getting rid of the ice cream and cookies might be easier? 1.4138 0.11657 29 19 8 2
966 For Goodness sake Tom, it was only a mouse 1.4138 0.11657 29 19 8 2
967 Oh no! Looks like we'll have to order take-out again... 1.4138 0.09308 29 17 12 0
968 You remembered to take the chicken out to thaw, right? 1.4138 0.11657 29 19 8 2
969 I know mom has a big appetite but she's only staying for the weekend. 1.4138 0.12670 29 20 6 3
970 I think you’re supposed to eliminate the food, not the other way around 1.4138 0.12670 29 20 6 3
971 I found it too easy to cheat on Weight Watchers. 1.4138 0.12670 29 20 6 3
972 I guess your mother is serious about losing weight--tell me again when is she leaving? 1.4138 0.11657 29 19 8 2
973 They said it's a ‘smart’ refrigerator. We'll see. 1.4138 0.13607 29 21 4 4
974 Come to think of it, Mom did mention something about a Houdini Diet. 1.4138 0.11657 29 19 8 2
975 Well, weight watchers didn’t work 1.4138 0.10548 29 18 10 1
976 Life was so much simpler before Ambien. 1.4138 0.12670 29 20 6 3
977 Maybe we overreacted to the mouse. 1.4138 0.12670 29 20 6 3
978 Tell me again, how will this cure your body-image disorder? 1.4138 0.11657 29 19 8 2
979 It's Weight Watchers, Keto, AND Noom. 1.4138 0.12670 29 20 6 3
980 Seriously, what's the catch? 1.4138 0.10548 29 18 10 1
981 I guess we'll order pizza? 1.4138 0.10548 29 18 10 1
982 I see, ...this is the true Killer Diet! 1.4138 0.11657 29 19 8 2
983 Is this a bad time to ask about where you put the rosé? 1.4138 0.12670 29 20 6 3
984 Now, THIS is a lockdown. 1.4138 0.11657 29 19 8 2
985 Want to order take out? 1.4138 0.11657 29 19 8 2
986 So, take-out tonight then? 1.4138 0.11657 29 19 8 2
987 Wouldn't it have been easier just to join Weight Watchers? 1.4138 0.10548 29 18 10 1
988 Ugh! Avocado green. What were they thinking in the 70’s? 1.4138 0.10548 29 18 10 1
989 If that doesn't work, we can always try self-control. 1.4138 0.11657 29 19 8 2
990 This may be overkill, but roaches are tough little creatures. 1.4138 0.12670 29 20 6 3
991 Remember when the hardest thing about Weight Watchers was counting the points? 1.4138 0.11657 29 19 8 2
992 It would be torture to have to cook in here. 1.4138 0.10548 29 18 10 1
993 There's always delivery 1.4138 0.12670 29 20 6 3
994 Are you okay with tap water?" 1.4138 0.12670 29 20 6 3
995 It looks tough, but I think we can burrow in through the side of the dishwasher. 1.4138 0.10548 29 18 10 1
996 Well we could go back to counting calories. 1.4138 0.11657 29 19 8 2
997 You only THINK you're hungry. 1.4138 0.12670 29 20 6 3
998 Mom must have stocked up on Ben and Jerrys. 1.4138 0.11657 29 19 8 2
999 There is ice cream if you are feeling brave. 1.4138 0.12670 29 20 6 3
1000 No.... I don’t think it’s an over-reaction. 1.4138 0.10548 29 18 10 1
1001 I think you’re going a bit overboard. It’s only a mouse. 1.4138 0.10548 29 18 10 1
1002 Yes. Or we could try willpower." 1.4138 0.12670 29 20 6 3
1003 Sweetie, I love your art. I do. But this is unbearable. 1.4118 0.10443 34 22 10 2
1004 Did you remember to get your prescription out? 1.4118 0.11264 34 23 8 3
1005 Ben and Jerry are in that freezer, Babe. I’m goin’ in. 1.4118 0.10443 34 22 10 2
1006 And the bacon still got out! 1.4103 0.11452 39 28 6 5
1007 Somehow the calories still escape and find me. 1.4091 0.14202 22 15 5 2
1008 Think of how few dishes we’ll have to do. 1.4074 0.09636 27 16 11 0
1009 I'm not sure Mom and Dad want us at home anymore. 1.4074 0.13354 27 19 5 3
1010 We should’ve gone with the rose gold bear traps 1.4074 0.13354 27 19 5 3
1011 Good grief, the dust bunnies under your grandparents refrigerator are out of control! 1.4074 0.13354 27 19 5 3
1012 Yeah, I'm not that hungry either. 1.4074 0.12241 27 18 7 2
1013 If your mother manages to come back to life again this should at least slow her down. 1.4074 0.12241 27 18 7 2
1014 He could have just put a post it on his yogurt. 1.4074 0.12241 27 18 7 2
1015 I cant wait to see his face when he finds out I drank his milk. 1.4074 0.12241 27 18 7 2
1016 My husband said he’d rather be caught dead than try the Keto diet. 1.4074 0.12241 27 18 7 2
1017 Hmmm, am I hungry enough? 1.4074 0.11016 27 17 9 1
1018 On the other hand, there's no meetings. 1.4074 0.14381 27 20 3 4
1019 This chastity diet’s gotten outta hand. 1.4074 0.12241 27 18 7 2
1020 Really man? I ate your yogurt ONE time! 1.4074 0.11016 27 17 9 1
1021 I know, but getting takeout still just doesn't feel safe. 1.4074 0.12241 27 18 7 2
1022 Found the toilet paper. 1.4074 0.11016 27 17 9 1
1023 Not enough. He's also bringing home a friend from school. 1.4074 0.13354 27 19 5 3
1024 We forgot the mouse traps. 1.4074 0.13354 27 19 5 3
1025 I told you my dad doesn’t want anyone drinking his beer. 1.4074 0.09636 27 16 11 0
1026 Now we encrypt the shopping list, and that’ll be that. 1.4074 0.13354 27 19 5 3
1027 How bad do we want pizza bites? 1.4074 0.12241 27 18 7 2
1028 I don’t know how else to lose the quarantine fifteen. 1.4074 0.13354 27 19 5 3
1029 Looks like Mom is getting serious about her diet 1.4074 0.12241 27 18 7 2
1030 I guess it's better than going paleo 1.4074 0.11016 27 17 9 1
1031 This should do it for the Quarantine 15... 1.4062 0.12588 32 23 5 4
1032 I think there are some snacks in the car. 1.4062 0.10869 32 21 9 2
1033 Honey, I’m feeling a bit trapped by your new diet 1.4062 0.11760 32 22 7 3
1034 My friends call it, 'The Houdini Diet' 1.4062 0.10869 32 21 9 2
1035 I admire your dedication to intermittent fasting but my coffee creamer is in there. 1.4062 0.10869 32 21 9 2
1036 I don’t think you understand the concept of baby proofing. 1.4062 0.13365 32 24 3 5
1037 Ok, so why did we do this again? 1.4062 0.10869 32 21 9 2
1038 That’s the last time Becky eats my f*cking snacks 1.4062 0.12588 32 23 5 4
1039 This must be the new S&M diet. 1.4062 0.11760 32 22 7 3
1040 We won’t be opening the fridge until Phase 4 1.4062 0.12588 32 23 5 4
1041 This time Laura seems to be serious about her diet. 1.4062 0.10869 32 21 9 2
1042 Interesting interpretation of “survival of the fittest.” 1.4062 0.10869 32 21 9 2
1043 And you say the bear is in the fridge? 1.4062 0.12588 32 23 5 4
1044 I don't know. I think it's a trap. 1.4062 0.11760 32 22 7 3
1045 This is a little passive aggressive, even for you. I already apologized for the yogurt. 1.4062 0.12588 32 23 5 4
1046 I said that diet SOUNDED interesting. 1.4062 0.11760 32 22 7 3
1047 Childproofing was different when I was a kid. 1.4062 0.09898 32 20 11 1
1048 Yup, I’d say your Mom is taking the lockdown seriously. 1.4062 0.12588 32 23 5 4
1049 That's not exactly what I had in mind when I said "childproof". 1.4062 0.09898 32 20 11 1
1050 I’m not trying to lose weight. I’m just trying to work from home. 1.4062 0.10869 32 21 9 2
1051 Weight loss by dungeon, very effective. 1.4062 0.14099 32 25 1 6
1052 Okay, maybe the chocolate cake isn’t worth it. 1.4062 0.13365 32 24 3 5
1053 I forgot to disinfect the milk bottle. 1.4062 0.11760 32 22 7 3
1054 And I thought the Keto diet was harsh 1.4062 0.11760 32 22 7 3
1055 She's your mother, Freddy. Have we possibly overreacted? 1.4062 0.11760 32 22 7 3
1056 I still worry those raccoons are smart enough to beat all these traps. 1.4062 0.12588 32 23 5 4
1057 Of course you can--there's double chocolate fudge ice cream in there. 1.4062 0.12588 32 23 5 4
1058 So this is "Airbnb-No Frills." 1.4062 0.12588 32 23 5 4
1059 So this is the gauntlet diet? 1.4062 0.11760 32 22 7 3
1060 When you asked what would you I do for a Klondike bar, I thought you were kidding. 1.4062 0.11760 32 22 7 3
1061 You forgot to take the wine out first, didn't you? 1.4062 0.09898 32 20 11 1
1062 Too obvious? 1.4054 0.09848 37 24 11 2
1063 Remember when we were just gluten free? 1.4054 0.11270 37 26 7 4
1064 We must be all out of passive-aggressive sticky notes. 1.4000 0.12910 25 17 6 2
1065 This just makes me want it more. 1.4000 0.11346 30 20 8 2
1066 I’ve seen ‘Ratatouille,’ I know what they’re capable of. 1.4000 0.10283 30 19 10 1
1067 So, do you think it's a trap? 1.4000 0.12318 30 21 6 3
1068 We've got to ask Karen to move out. 1.4000 0.13218 30 22 4 4
1069 2020 was worse. 1.4000 0.13093 35 27 2 6
1070 Well, I had to do something to keep food in the house with three kids home during quarantine. 1.4000 0.12910 25 17 6 2
1071 Did you remember to take out the beer? 1.4000 0.10283 30 19 10 1
1072 But what’s to stop us from buying another fridge? 1.4000 0.11346 30 20 8 2
1073 I’m quarantining the quarantine 15. 1.4000 0.12910 25 17 6 2
1074 And you locked the keys inside the fridge you say?” “Yep. Mhmm 1.4000 0.15218 20 14 4 2
1075 Airbnb owner was quite clear that the kitchen was not part of the rental. 1.4000 0.12318 30 21 6 3
1076 ‘Do you think we should let the kids out now?’ 1.4000 0.12910 25 17 6 2
1077 I thought we agreed the bear traps would be brass for a little pop of color, but I guess this is fine... 1.4000 0.10283 30 19 10 1
1078 If we tunnel in through the dishwasher, I think we can avoid the worst of it. 1.4000 0.11346 30 20 8 2
1079 Welcome to The Hunger Games 1.4000 0.10283 30 19 10 1
1080 Honey, is this because I said that dress did make you look fat? 1.4000 0.11346 30 20 8 2
1081 It would have been cheaper to scatter LEGOs. 1.4000 0.09097 30 18 12 0
1082 So just creamer then? 1.4000 0.14061 30 23 2 5
1083 Well, if this doesn’t catch Covid I don’t know what will. 1.4000 0.11739 35 25 6 4
1084 I’m recommitting to my New Year’s resolution. 1.4000 0.11547 25 16 8 1
1085 The new normal. 1.4000 0.11346 30 20 8 2
1086 Order out tonight? 1.4000 0.11346 30 20 8 2
1087 Cleaned the kitchen- no more snacks today” , love mom 1.4000 0.13218 30 22 4 4
1088 My mom recently started buying organic. 1.4000 0.11346 30 20 8 2
1089 I feel like getting take out. 1.4000 0.11346 30 20 8 2
1090 Buying me a Peloton would have been easier. 1.4000 0.11547 25 16 8 1
1091 Sure, honey, but I think most couples wait until the third trimester until they start babyproofing. 1.4000 0.13218 30 22 4 4
1092 Just wait 'til you see the liquor cabinet. 1.4000 0.12318 30 21 6 3
1093 Good thing I have that candy bar hidden under the mattress. 1.4000 0.10283 30 19 10 1
1094 Is losing a limb considered “weight loss”? 1.4000 0.12318 30 21 6 3
1095 This new government scheme to support local restaurants is pretty extreme. 1.4000 0.13218 30 22 4 4
1096 Rumour has it the President's Tax Returns are in there. 1.4000 0.11739 35 25 6 4
1097 Go ahead and make a sandwich, but make sure you put it back exactly as Dad set it up or he'll be upset. 1.4000 0.12910 25 17 6 2
1098 Relax. Its only two days out of five. 1.4000 0.09349 35 22 12 1
1099 ...Well this is kind of a passive-aggressive reaction to One missing pint of Ice Cream 1.4000 0.11547 25 16 8 1
1100 It’s seems a bit extreme, but this diet may finally be the one that works. 1.4000 0.10283 30 19 10 1
1101 Trump tax returns and college transcripts. 1.4000 0.12318 30 21 6 3
1102 It's called the cave bear diet. 1.4000 0.11547 25 16 8 1
1103 Order in tonight ? 1.4000 0.10283 30 19 10 1
1104 Honey, it was just a little mouse. 1.4000 0.15275 25 19 2 4
1105 Kevin lost 15 pounds,but it was mainly from the amputation. 1.4000 0.13218 30 22 4 4
1106 Maybe our review should mention that kitchen access is restricted. 1.4000 0.11346 30 20 8 2
1107 I don't know - it just doesn't feel like an open concept. 1.4000 0.15275 25 19 2 4
1108 There goes self-control. 1.4000 0.10283 30 19 10 1
1109 It's a cute house but I don't like the flow of the kitchen. 1.4000 0.12910 25 17 6 2
1110 Whats up with the lox? 1.4000 0.11346 30 20 8 2
1111 The last tenants didn't last the whole 30-day dairy, gluten and sugar free challenge. 1.4000 0.10283 30 19 10 1
1112 Wow! You really know how to put the "Die" in Diet. 1.4000 0.12318 30 21 6 3
1113 They asked me to house-sit while they are away, but I don't think they want me eating any of their food. 1.4000 0.12318 30 21 6 3
1114 I hate fridge smudges too. 1.4000 0.13377 20 13 6 1
1115 This new meal plan seems a bit restrictive, don’t you think? 1.4000 0.11547 25 16 8 1
1116 If you really didn’t take a bite of my sandwich, you have nothing to worry about. 1.4000 0.12318 30 21 6 3
1117 Is this really an essential lockdown? 1.4000 0.12318 30 21 6 3
1118 I see now how the diet people can offer a money back guarantee 1.4000 0.10283 30 19 10 1
1119 Let’s see if the refrigerator runs now. 1.4000 0.12318 30 21 6 3
1120 Think, Shiela. Where were you when you had the key? 1.4000 0.16859 20 15 2 3
1121 Honey, why did the GOP put the county's only polling place for black people in our kitchen? 1.4000 0.12318 30 21 6 3
1122 It is my 007 diet regimen. 1.4000 0.14142 25 18 4 3
1123 Lorraine, speak plainly. These metaphors are tiring. 1.4000 0.12910 25 17 6 2
1124 So I guess that’s where you put the toilet paper. 1.4000 0.12910 25 17 6 2
1125 Maybe we should just get bigger pants. 1.4000 0.12318 30 21 6 3
1126 I don't remember you having these cravings the last time you were pregnant. 1.4000 0.11346 30 20 8 2
1127 It‘s part of my new diet. 1.4000 0.11346 30 20 8 2
1128 We need to talk about Kevin. 1.4000 0.11346 30 20 8 2
1129 It needs a moat. 1.4000 0.11346 30 20 8 2
1130 Take out, yeah definitely take out! 1.4000 0.12318 30 21 6 3
1131 Pretend it's the voting booth. 1.4000 0.10208 35 23 10 2
1132 Going out to eat doesn't seem that risky after all. 1.4000 0.10283 30 19 10 1
1133 I am concerned the skinny ones might squeeze thru 1.4000 0.11346 30 20 8 2
1134 Now that it’s all finished, I can really see that white cabinets were a mistake. 1.4000 0.11346 30 20 8 2
1135 This isn’t the ‘50 Shades’ turn-on I thought it would be. 1.4000 0.10283 30 19 10 1
1136 Getting into the fridge is the only exercise I get during Covid-19. 1.4000 0.12910 25 17 6 2
1137 Let’s try ‘abracadabra!’ 1.4000 0.13377 20 13 6 1
1138 When they said to stay in our room when visiting, they weren't kidding. 1.4000 0.11346 30 20 8 2
1139 Do you think your mother wants us to move out? 1.4000 0.11547 25 16 8 1
1140 It came with the Ambien prescription. 1.4000 0.11547 25 16 8 1
1141 Now the dishwasher looks out of place." 1.4000 0.12910 25 17 6 2
1142 My only concern about your new sado diet is what if you like it too much? 1.4000 0.12910 25 17 6 2
1143 Perhaps a Post-it could have sufficed? 1.4000 0.11346 30 20 8 2
1144 Looks like mom got Haagen Daz. 1.4000 0.11346 30 20 8 2
1145 Well, at least we are both losing weight. 1.4000 0.12318 30 21 6 3
1146 Want to go out for dinner? 1.4000 0.10283 30 19 10 1
1147 The real estate agent did say that the current owners have three teenage boys. 1.4000 0.11547 25 16 8 1
1148 Looks like a good night for takeout. 1.4000 0.11346 30 20 8 2
1149 He's 16! You really think this will keep him from that last donut? 1.4000 0.12910 25 17 6 2
1150 I don't know, honey - the feng shui seems off. 1.4000 0.11346 30 20 8 2
1151 Do you really think this will keep your dad out? 1.4000 0.11346 30 20 8 2
1152 My trainer said she'd help me make more sensible choices. 1.4000 0.11346 30 20 8 2
1153 I’m all for a phased reopening, but this is a little much. 1.4000 0.12318 30 21 6 3
1154 Well, I think it is contained. But I told you not to start growing sourdough! 1.4000 0.11346 30 20 8 2
1155 something tells me that you don’t think that I’ll stick with my diet!” 1.4000 0.12318 30 21 6 3
1156 I was thinking a simple 'Keep Out! You're Dieting!' sign would have been enough. 1.4000 0.10283 30 19 10 1
1157 I think we need an electric fence... 1.4000 0.11346 30 20 8 2
1158 Well we did tell him to be more transparent in expressing his feelings. 1.4000 0.12318 30 21 6 3
1159 I thought I told you to leave her Greek Yogurt alone. 1.4000 0.13218 30 22 4 4
1160 Our not-so-subtle hint to leave the nest. 1.4000 0.11346 30 20 8 2
1161 yeah, there was something sweet about his first prank videos.. 1.4000 0.10208 35 23 10 2
1162 I think we'll be able to lose weight on this diet. 1.4000 0.10283 30 19 10 1
1163 Yes, it’s a very big cockroach. 1.4000 0.12318 30 21 6 3
1164 Getting a Peloton would be easier. 1.4000 0.12318 30 21 6 3
1165 Maybe takeout tonight? 1.4000 0.12318 30 21 6 3
1166 That should do it...let’s order a pizza for dinner. 1.4000 0.11346 30 20 8 2
1167 Should we just order the exercise bike? 1.4000 0.14142 25 18 4 3
1168 What I lack in will power, I gain in self torture. 1.4000 0.13218 30 22 4 4
1169 Our teenagers are eating us out of house and home. What else could we do? 1.4000 0.11346 30 20 8 2
1170 I lost four pounds getting out of the one on the right and two getting loose from the middle one and six from the one on the left. 1.4000 0.15275 25 19 2 4
1171 I thought the broker said it was an open plan kitchen? 1.4000 0.11346 30 20 8 2
1172 Let's go see what your roommates did in the bathroom. 1.4000 0.13218 30 22 4 4
1173 Yah, but we're talking about cheesecake here. 1.4000 0.12318 30 21 6 3
1174 Something tells me this is a trap 1.4000 0.13218 30 22 4 4
1175 Ok, then, let's order takeout. 1.4000 0.12318 30 21 6 3
1176 She's moved beyond paleo and into the Middle Ages. 1.4000 0.11547 25 16 8 1
1177 So, you wanna get some takeout? 1.4000 0.11346 30 20 8 2
1178 So, curbside or delivery? 1.4000 0.09097 30 18 12 0
1179 No explosives? 1.4000 0.11346 30 20 8 2
1180 I'm pretty sure Lent is over. 1.4000 0.12318 30 21 6 3
1181 We’ll be eating take out until we catch the culprit. 1.4000 0.12910 25 17 6 2
1182 On the bright side, everything is stainless steel. 1.4000 0.10000 40 27 10 3
1183 Do you think it's too subtle? 1.4000 0.15218 20 14 4 2
1184 The new roommate makes me uneasy. 1.4000 0.11346 30 20 8 2
1185 Maybe we should just teach them how to drink responsibly instead 1.3939 0.09672 33 21 11 1
1186 This, finally, should make him move out. 1.3939 0.10606 33 22 9 2
1187 I have a feeling this diet plan is going to cost us an arm and a leg. 1.3939 0.12262 33 24 5 4
1188 I liked it better when you were on Weight Watchers. 1.3939 0.11464 33 23 7 3
1189 My Noom coach is retired CIA. 1.3939 0.11464 33 23 7 3
1190 If Timmy does get out, he won't get far. 1.3939 0.09672 33 21 11 1
1191 Right now, I just can't afford a dungeon. 1.3939 0.12262 33 24 5 4
1192 Is it just me, or have the cockroaches gotten really aggressive? 1.3939 0.11464 33 23 7 3
1193 And he still took all the ice cream. Amazing! 1.3939 0.10606 33 22 9 2
1194 The last weight loss program just didn't work. 1.3939 0.10606 33 22 9 2
1195 I suppose the listing did say "all the trappings of a modern kitchen". 1.3939 0.11464 33 23 7 3
1196 It makes intermittent fasting much easier. 1.3939 0.12262 33 24 5 4
1197 Mr. Dahmer really doesn’t want anyone to drink his milk, does he? 1.3939 0.12262 33 24 5 4
1198 I cannot shake the idea that our real problem is not overeating. 1.3939 0.12262 33 24 5 4
1199 I guess Grandma thinks that chocolate we bought her really costs 100 Grand 1.3939 0.09672 33 21 11 1
1200 Maybe we should order takeout. 1.3929 0.10714 28 18 9 1
1201 I needed a new work-from-home challenge. 1.3929 0.11885 28 19 7 2
1202 It’s nice. But the other place had an island. 1.3929 0.12950 28 20 5 3
1203 This isn't what I meant when I suggested Hunger Games, honey 1.3929 0.11885 28 19 7 2
1204 I still think just going sugar free would be easier 1.3929 0.10714 28 18 9 1
1205 Ok, I get your point about the diet but it’s a bit unsettling that you already had all of this stuff in the garage 1.3929 0.12950 28 20 5 3
1206 So this is what mom meant when she said stay out of the kitchen 1.3929 0.13934 28 21 3 4
1207 Well, we could try a little self control instead. 1.3929 0.10714 28 18 9 1
1208 I still dont know if this will make dieting easier 1.3929 0.10714 28 18 9 1
1209 I can't wait until your parents get here 1.3929 0.10714 28 18 9 1
1210 I think the mice have gotten smarter. 1.3929 0.13934 28 21 3 4
1211 Maybe house-sitting for Greg was not the friendship milestone you hoped. 1.3929 0.11885 28 19 7 2
1212 I thought child proofing was supposed to make it safer for children? 1.3929 0.13934 28 21 3 4
1213 Oh, I don't know. Do you think it will work? 1.3929 0.12950 28 20 5 3
1214 I’ve got this. 1.3929 0.10714 28 18 9 1
1215 Still less work than intermittent fasting 1.3929 0.11885 28 19 7 2
1216 I told you not to eat my yogurt, Ted. 1.3929 0.12950 28 20 5 3
1217 You and your crazy diets 1.3929 0.11885 28 19 7 2
1218 I don’t care. Where do you wanna eat? 1.3929 0.12950 28 20 5 3
1219 I call it The Houdini Diet. 1.3929 0.11885 28 19 7 2
1220 nah, your mom would still get through. 1.3929 0.13934 28 21 3 4
1221 Fifty shades of Nay. 1.3929 0.11885 28 19 7 2
1222 Think we might have overdone the lockdown 1.3929 0.11885 28 19 7 2
1223 Well, it's not as hard as voting. 1.3929 0.12950 28 20 5 3
1224 Can we do the Mediterranean diet instead. 1.3929 0.12950 28 20 5 3
1225 Do you feel like Kevin has been a little passive aggressive about the snacks lately? 1.3929 0.11885 28 19 7 2
1226 Can't we just buy light salad dressing? 1.3929 0.11885 28 19 7 2
1227 The pounds literally fall right off... 1.3929 0.12950 28 20 5 3
1228 I wondered why Weight Watchers now offers free shipping." 1.3929 0.12950 28 20 5 3
1229 Or we could just stop snacking between meals. 1.3929 0.11885 28 19 7 2
1230 Must be Mom’s hyperbole for, ‘The kitchen is closed’. 1.3929 0.12950 28 20 5 3
1231 I know The Prison Diet is trending but maybe we should try intermittent fasting. 1.3929 0.12950 28 20 5 3
1232 This should help us drop that Covid 19. 1.3929 0.11885 28 19 7 2
1233 THIS is your new diet?! 1.3929 0.09399 28 17 11 0
1234 Ok, ready to list on AirBnB 1.3929 0.11885 28 19 7 2
1235 I think this diet might be a little restrictive. 1.3929 0.12950 28 20 5 3
1236 I think the traps look better on the left. 1.3929 0.11885 28 19 7 2
1237 Well, in all fairness, the other house you liked also needs the kitchen redone. 1.3929 0.11885 28 19 7 2
1238 What is this? The Food Network Ninja Warrior Challenge? 1.3929 0.12950 28 20 5 3
1239 This wasn’t in the VRBO listing. 1.3929 0.10714 28 18 9 1
1240 Sooooo..........just how bad do we want to have a beer? 1.3929 0.10714 28 18 9 1
1241 That should stop the ants. 1.3929 0.13934 28 21 3 4
1242 If only I did not forget my cigarettes inside 1.3929 0.11885 28 19 7 2
1243 Looks like takeout again 1.3929 0.12950 28 20 5 3
1244 I'm happy to lend a hand with the move. It's getting the hand back that worries me. 1.3929 0.12950 28 20 5 3
1245 Maybe we should go back to just writing our names on our food 1.3929 0.11885 28 19 7 2
1246 There, now it’s baby proof. 1.3929 0.11885 28 19 7 2
1247 The diet's easy. It's the falling off the wagon that's painful. 1.3929 0.13934 28 21 3 4
1248 If this doesn't work, we may have to try exercise. 1.3929 0.11885 28 19 7 2
1249 New weight loss program? 1.3929 0.10714 28 18 9 1
1250 Ok lets retrace our steps-when was the last time you used the key? 1.3929 0.12950 28 20 5 3
1251 Mom's still got Dad on a diet? 1.3929 0.12950 28 20 5 3
1252 We're in good shape if he's in the refrigerator and not the dishwasher!" 1.3929 0.11885 28 19 7 2
1253 When he was installing the security system he kept saying “I’m gonna get medieval on your ass” I just thought that was an expression 1.3929 0.10714 28 18 9 1
1254 See? No need to call an exterminator. 1.3929 0.13934 28 21 3 4
1255 At least the liquor cabinet's unlocked. 1.3929 0.11885 28 19 7 2
1256 Obviously this must be what the air bnb ad meant when it said “does not include kitchen privileges 1.3929 0.11885 28 19 7 2
1257 At least we don’t have to do dishes 1.3929 0.09399 28 17 11 0
1258 Now that I'm seeing it, maybe I'll just label my yogurts instead. 1.3929 0.11885 28 19 7 2
1259 So that’s how you’ve been able to stay thin during quarantine 1.3929 0.11885 28 19 7 2
1260 So you think this will deter your stoner brother? 1.3929 0.13934 28 21 3 4
1261 I don’t recall seeing anything about this in the Airbnb agreement! 1.3929 0.09399 28 17 11 0
1262 We could always order a pizza" 1.3929 0.10714 28 18 9 1
1263 The toilet is broken. Mom says nothing in, nothing out. 1.3929 0.10714 28 18 9 1
1264 I think we are ready to list on Airbnb 1.3929 0.12950 28 20 5 3
1265 Well, she did say she was really serious about her diet this time. 1.3929 0.11885 28 19 7 2
1266 You know, we could just get takeout. 1.3929 0.10714 28 18 9 1
1267 Mom said we have to order takeout while she's away. 1.3929 0.10714 28 18 9 1
1268 When did you put all the toilet paper in the ‘fridge? 1.3929 0.12950 28 20 5 3
1269 I like it, but can we do them in stainless? 1.3929 0.12950 28 20 5 3
1270 It’s not the most friendly bed and breakfast, but it feels so good to be on vacation. 1.3929 0.11885 28 19 7 2
1271 Wouldn’t it be easier if we just insisted that Roger get his own apartment? 1.3929 0.12950 28 20 5 3
1272 If I’ve told the kids once, I’ve told them a hundred times . . . the cat doesn’t like to play “Escape Room”! 1.3929 0.11885 28 19 7 2
1273 Or we could count calories and steps 1.3929 0.13934 28 21 3 4
1274 I swear - I just need to check if the light's on. 1.3929 0.11885 28 19 7 2
1275 well, maybe it's a bit extreme but the diet plan says by any means necessary. 1.3929 0.11885 28 19 7 2
1276 This might have helped more at the beginning of the quarantine. 1.3929 0.12950 28 20 5 3
1277 No Zach...what I said was,"There is some Muenster in the fridge." 1.3929 0.13934 28 21 3 4
1278 Ahhhhh, starting a new diet are we? 1.3929 0.11885 28 19 7 2
1279 I lost three pounds. 1.3929 0.11885 28 19 7 2
1280 Now THIS should let us lose that COVID 15lbs... 1.3929 0.11885 28 19 7 2
1281 Look at the bright side - the chips hidden in the dishwasher are still accessible 1.3929 0.12950 28 20 5 3
1282 There’s too much cleanup required here. I prefer the model with the shark infested pool. 1.3929 0.11885 28 19 7 2
1283 It's the new Weight Watcher's Xtreme plan. 1.3929 0.11885 28 19 7 2
1284 It’s my tenant Roger, he’s very worried about food theft. Do you think he’ll be OK? 1.3929 0.10714 28 18 9 1
1285 If you didn't want to share the Ben & Jerry's all you had to do was ask. 1.3929 0.12950 28 20 5 3
1286 I think you're taking this diet too seriously 1.3929 0.09399 28 17 11 0
1287 OK. Take-out it is. 1.3929 0.11885 28 19 7 2
1288 Good thing the chocolate is still in the living room. 1.3929 0.12950 28 20 5 3
1289 I think you'll make it through the juice cleanse this time 1.3929 0.11885 28 19 7 2
1290 AirB&B only left us a key to the front door 1.3929 0.10714 28 18 9 1
1291 I still say taping up picture of a fat person is easier. 1.3929 0.11885 28 19 7 2
1292 Do you think we need more cheese? 1.3929 0.11885 28 19 7 2
1293 But do they bring us joy? 1.3929 0.12950 28 20 5 3
1294 I'm feeling very optimistic about this diet 1.3929 0.12950 28 20 5 3
1295 Not until we lose the quarantine 15. 1.3929 0.12950 28 20 5 3
1296 Wasn’t keto hard enough. 1.3929 0.11885 28 19 7 2
1297 My friends say this diet really works. 1.3929 0.10714 28 18 9 1
1298 The book said to childproof. 1.3929 0.12950 28 20 5 3
1299 After all that work, we should have a beer. 1.3929 0.12950 28 20 5 3
1300 It's the weight watchers new "metallic" plan for losing the "Quarantine 10". 1.3929 0.10714 28 18 9 1
1301 This is not what I meant by medieval design. 1.3929 0.11885 28 19 7 2
1302 Whose idea was it to give him that Houdini bio? 1.3929 0.13934 28 21 3 4
1303 Now, don't take this as a criticism of your cooking. 1.3929 0.11885 28 19 7 2
1304 What did you feed the sourdough starter? 1.3929 0.12950 28 20 5 3
1305 I guess she’s serious about not touching her key lime pie 1.3929 0.10714 28 18 9 1
1306 I agree... but don't you think we could have stayed with Paleo a little longer. 1.3929 0.10714 28 18 9 1
1307 It’s a last resort, but this diet plan could actually work. 1.3929 0.11885 28 19 7 2
1308 It’s my latest effort at maintaining my diet. 1.3929 0.12950 28 20 5 3
1309 Y'know, setting all that up really made me hungry... 1.3929 0.13934 28 21 3 4
1310 Mom is serious about that last box of Girl Scout cookies. 1.3929 0.11885 28 19 7 2
1311 You always over react when your brother visits. 1.3929 0.12950 28 20 5 3
1312 They say this diet makes it impossible to cheat. 1.3929 0.11885 28 19 7 2
1313 It gives a whole new meaning to the midnight snack. 1.3929 0.10714 28 18 9 1
1314 Yeah, let's eat out. 1.3929 0.12950 28 20 5 3
1315 I know it is my turn. Do you want Cookies and Cream or Rocky Road? 1.3929 0.12950 28 20 5 3
1316 That explains the hostile emojis. 1.3929 0.11885 28 19 7 2
1317 Mushrooms or pepperoni? 1.3929 0.12950 28 20 5 3
1318 ... it just says avoid snacking.. 1.3913 0.15061 23 17 3 3
1319 That should keep the gluten out 1.3913 0.15061 23 17 3 3
1320 The agent said this house was owned by a super model. 1.3889 0.14323 18 12 5 1
1321 It beats disinfecting the groceries. 1.3871 0.10029 31 20 10 1
1322 I said I didn’t want the Houdini design 1.3871 0.11050 31 21 8 2
1323 The kids will get through this in a matter of minutes 1.3871 0.11050 31 21 8 2
1324 I know what’s missing....the snakes!!!! 1.3871 0.10029 31 20 10 1
1325 It may seem ridiculous, but not a single bear has broken in since I set it up. 1.3871 0.12849 31 23 4 4
1326 Looks great honey, but where will we put the land mines? 1.3871 0.11050 31 21 8 2
1327 It’s the only way... I’ve already eaten twice my weight and it’s only noon 1.3871 0.12849 31 23 4 4
1328 Seems safe... 1.3871 0.11050 31 21 8 2
1329 And you’re sure the light inside turns off by itself? 1.3871 0.11983 31 22 6 3
1330 Next time maybe we just shouldn’t buy a pie. 1.3871 0.12849 31 23 4 4
1331 Diet Apps are good, but nothing beats offline techniques Mary 1.3871 0.11050 31 21 8 2
1332 Do you think mom and dad know about the party? 1.3871 0.11983 31 22 6 3
1333 It seemed easier than counting calories 1.3871 0.10029 31 20 10 1
1334 Where CrossFit meets Keto. 1.3871 0.11983 31 22 6 3
1335 At least we'll know where the children are. 1.3871 0.11050 31 21 8 2
1336 When Mom's on a diet everybody's on a diet. 1.3871 0.12849 31 23 4 4
1337 ... you go first, you have the keys. 1.3871 0.11050 31 21 8 2
1338 this has been quite the "corona-lockdown" 1.3871 0.10029 31 20 10 1
1339 I told you fad diets were a trap. 1.3871 0.11050 31 21 8 2
1340 I hid the sourdough starter in the bathroom. 1.3871 0.10029 31 20 10 1
1341 At least there’s no carb counting. 1.3871 0.11050 31 21 8 2
1342 I knew Whiskers would not be happy about being put on dry food but I never expected this! 1.3871 0.11983 31 22 6 3
1343 My new 20 day challenge 1.3871 0.10029 31 20 10 1
1344 And I’m locked out of my phone. 1.3871 0.10029 31 20 10 1
1345 I think the kids are telling us they’d rather have takeout for a change. 1.3871 0.11983 31 22 6 3
1346 Just think of all the time you'll save not doing the dishes. 1.3871 0.11050 31 21 8 2
1347 I still think it's safer to cook at home 1.3871 0.11050 31 21 8 2
1348 It's a test to see if you're smarter than a laboratory rat. 1.3871 0.11983 31 22 6 3
1349 I agree. We order in tonight. 1.3871 0.11050 31 21 8 2
1350 You know what, honey? I was thinking...maybe tonight, we should just order in... 1.3871 0.10029 31 20 10 1
1351 Well, my nutritionist told me that calorie restriction is more effective than cardio." 1.3871 0.10029 31 20 10 1
1352 Maybe we should order out tonight. 1.3871 0.10029 31 20 10 1
1353 The Oreos are in the night stand. 1.3871 0.11983 31 22 6 3
1354 Adding the moat would require a change order... 1.3871 0.11050 31 21 8 2
1355 Should we add a firewall? 1.3871 0.11050 31 21 8 2
1356 I wonder if they can hear us. 1.3871 0.11050 31 21 8 2
1357 We're not bears, so I think we're good. 1.3871 0.11983 31 22 6 3
1358 Should we order in? 1.3846 0.11200 26 17 8 1
1359 After you 1.3846 0.13674 26 19 4 3
1360 I know you wanted to lose the quarantine 15, but this seems a little over the top 1.3846 0.11200 26 17 8 1
1361 The mice... they’re getting bigger... 1.3846 0.11200 26 17 8 1
1362 Maybe we just should have suggested Weight Watchers. 1.3846 0.11200 26 17 8 1
1363 Babe I meant a sex dungeon 1.3846 0.11200 26 17 8 1
1364 I can finally feel safe in the kitchen 1.3846 0.12499 26 18 6 2
1365 I’m not sure this is what the hunter gatherer diet is supposed to be like... 1.3846 0.12499 26 18 6 2
1366 I forgot about the sleepwalking....this might not work out. 1.3846 0.11200 26 17 8 1
1367 Do we really have to do this every time my Uncle Yogi comes over for dinner? 1.3846 0.12499 26 18 6 2
1368 I want you to feel at home, okay? Help yourself to anything you like. . 1.3846 0.10138 39 27 9 3
1369 Not what they meant by lock down. 1.3846 0.13674 26 19 4 3
1370 Or, we could find a new babysitter. 1.3846 0.12499 26 18 6 2
1371 Did we check to see if the milk was bad? 1.3846 0.11200 26 17 8 1
1372 Honey, if the plumber wants a snack while he's working, let him have one. 1.3846 0.11200 26 17 8 1
1373 It looks too austere. Do the traps come in antique brass? 1.3846 0.12499 26 18 6 2
1374 ALL diets are torture. 1.3846 0.11200 26 17 8 1
1375 I heard it worked for Oprah 1.3846 0.11200 26 17 8 1
1376 I signed us up for Weight Watchers Plus 1.3846 0.12499 26 18 6 2
1377 I believe it’s your turn to get the milk out. 1.3846 0.12499 26 18 6 2
1378 He is a growing teen.Think this'll slow him down? 1.3846 0.12499 26 18 6 2
1379 Which diet is this? 1.3846 0.13674 26 19 4 3
1380 I feel like we're missing something. 1.3846 0.12499 26 18 6 2
1381 The food tastes much better now that we have to work for it 1.3846 0.12499 26 18 6 2
1382 It’s a really strict diet. 1.3846 0.13674 26 19 4 3
1383 This diet will work! 1.3846 0.11200 26 17 8 1
1384 We could get takeout... 1.3846 0.11200 26 17 8 1
1385 Don't you think it would be easier to lock up the scale? 1.3846 0.12499 26 18 6 2
1386 I guess we're ordering in. 1.3846 0.09730 26 16 10 0
1387 Well, it's this or Peloton. 1.3846 0.11200 26 17 8 1
1388 I've changed my mind. Let's go out. 1.3846 0.12499 26 18 6 2
1389 Wait, where's the dog? 1.3846 0.12499 26 18 6 2
1390 I hope he's not too hungry! 1.3846 0.13674 26 19 4 3
1391 No, I don't think the last Airbnb guest got a five-star rating 1.3846 0.14756 26 20 2 4
1392 I don’t think the salted caramel ice cream is worth it” 1.3846 0.09730 26 16 10 0
1393 Makes you want it more, doesn't it? 1.3846 0.11200 26 17 8 1
1394 So far it’s been a relatively painless diet. 1.3846 0.12499 26 18 6 2
1395 I’m on the extreme elimination diet. 1.3846 0.11200 26 17 8 1
1396 I don't think we'll be doing air bnb again soon 1.3846 0.11200 26 17 8 1
1397 You call this portion control? 1.3846 0.12499 26 18 6 2
1398 On the other hand, we could just eat less 1.3846 0.11200 26 17 8 1
1399 Good thing we have another one in the cellar, isn't it ?? 1.3846 0.09730 26 16 10 0
1400 For some reason, this just makes me hungrier. 1.3846 0.12499 26 18 6 2
1401 Mom has some food issues. 1.3846 0.13674 26 19 4 3
1402 Does this mean you'd like to eat out tonight? 1.3846 0.12499 26 18 6 2
1403 That’ll keep the refridgerator from running. 1.3846 0.12499 26 18 6 2
1404 Also, mom did suggest that we go live with dad for a while 1.3846 0.13674 26 19 4 3
1405 What have we forgotten? 1.3846 0.11200 26 17 8 1
1406 It’s less stigmatizing than gastric bypass. 1.3846 0.12499 26 18 6 2
1407 OK, I think we’re done baby proofing the kitchen. 1.3846 0.11200 26 17 8 1
1408 Whatever you do, don't go into the bathroom 1.3824 0.11182 34 24 7 3
1409 OK you win. Let's order delivery. 1.3824 0.11182 34 24 7 3
1410 And the Neo-Gothic really makes the kitchen pop. 1.3824 0.11953 34 25 5 4
1411 Well, I’ve finally gotten to my goal weight, but I’m afraid I’ve forgotten where I put the keys. 1.3824 0.10354 34 23 9 2
1412 Sure it looks fool proof, but they're teenaged boys. Trust me. They'll find a way. 1.3810 0.14600 21 15 4 2
1413 So you’re sure you saw a COVID particle in there? 1.3793 0.11547 29 20 7 2
1414 So, I started a new diet. 1.3793 0.13513 29 22 3 4
1415 OK, so your insulin was still in there. My bad. 1.3793 0.11547 29 20 7 2
1416 I mean technically it IS a work-from-home related expense... 1.3793 0.12569 29 21 5 3
1417 I’m trying this new diet. 1.3793 0.11547 29 20 7 2
1418 You could have just said you wanted to eat out tonight. 1.3793 0.10427 29 19 9 1
1419 Your faith in me is disappointing 1.3793 0.11547 29 20 7 2
1420 Are you sure they are licensed nutritionists? 1.3793 0.11547 29 20 7 2
1421 Does this spark joy for you? Personally I’m feeling hungry. 1.3793 0.12569 29 21 5 3
1422 Is this the 'food security' they were talking about? 1.3793 0.11547 29 20 7 2
1423 So.. What do you like to eat? 1.3793 0.10427 29 19 9 1
1424 I’m using a new diet app called DOOM. 1.3793 0.13513 29 22 3 4
1425 I think you put a little too much die in diet, honey 1.3793 0.11547 29 20 7 2
1426 Now, how do we keep them from changing the thermostat? 1.3793 0.09170 29 18 11 0
1427 Commenting on your Mom's weight is always a mistake. 1.3793 0.12569 29 21 5 3
1428 Airbnb has really increased their security measures since the reopening 1.3793 0.11547 29 20 7 2
1429 Dad's on a diet again. 1.3793 0.11547 29 20 7 2
1430 It's a start, but now we have to tie up the Uber Eats guy. 1.3793 0.12569 29 21 5 3
1431 This isn't what I meant by 'stainless steel fixtures.' 1.3793 0.12569 29 21 5 3
1432 Which diet book did this idea come from? 1.3793 0.11547 29 20 7 2
1433 Wow that’s how extreme it got back in 2020. 1.3793 0.11547 29 20 7 2
1434 Maybe all day nursery school would be a better option. 1.3793 0.10427 29 19 9 1
1435 But did you lock the window? 1.3793 0.11547 29 20 7 2
1436 I heard him say her crème brûlée was to die for. 1.3793 0.11547 29 20 7 2
1437 But I sorta like your lockdown tummy. 1.3793 0.10427 29 19 9 1
1438 It's not for my diet. I'm tired of you stealing my chocolate. 1.3793 0.11547 29 20 7 2
1439 I guess the kitchen's done with our quarantine cooking. 1.3793 0.13513 29 22 3 4
1440 Where did Mom say she hid the key? 1.3793 0.11547 29 20 7 2
1441 Looks like a trap to me too. 1.3793 0.11547 29 20 7 2
1442 I told you to put the money in a safe place.... 1.3793 0.12569 29 21 5 3
1443 I think the real trap would be a 30-year mortgage 1.3793 0.12569 29 21 5 3
1444 Are carbs really that deadly? 1.3793 0.12569 29 21 5 3
1445 Dad's taken 'homeland security' to a new level. 1.3793 0.12569 29 21 5 3
1446 All she had to do was to write her name on the ham sandwich 1.3793 0.10427 29 19 9 1
1447 Seriously, Todd, who “forgets” to plug the fridge back in? 1.3793 0.11547 29 20 7 2
1448 I guess the refrigerator repairman was serious when he told us that we owed him money. 1.3793 0.12569 29 21 5 3
1449 It IS good cheesecake...... 1.3793 0.11547 29 20 7 2
1450 It really puts the ‘die’ in diet. 1.3793 0.11547 29 20 7 2
1451 So far I've lost ten pounds and my right hand 1.3793 0.12569 29 21 5 3
1452 How good are you at breaking and entering? 1.3793 0.12569 29 21 5 3
1453 Or we could just go grocery shopping. 1.3793 0.11547 29 20 7 2
1454 So I guess we'll get takeout? 1.3793 0.11547 29 20 7 2
1455 So, what exactly did the refrigerator say to you? 1.3793 0.11547 29 20 7 2
1456 They're all distractions. I 'd check out the microwave and dishwasher. 1.3793 0.11547 29 20 7 2
1457 Think the kitchen is closed? 1.3793 0.10427 29 19 9 1
1458 I read somewhere that these were the original coronavirus spikes. 1.3793 0.11547 29 20 7 2
1459 So, we are really only going to eat what we kill? 1.3793 0.11547 29 20 7 2
1460 Anything else we can do? I don't think it's enough to stop me. 1.3793 0.11547 29 20 7 2
1461 It should work until she is 2, by 3 we'll need a new defence. 1.3793 0.12569 29 21 5 3
1462 one of these will cure your sleepwalking 1.3793 0.12569 29 21 5 3
1463 Your foster mom sucks 1.3793 0.11547 29 20 7 2
1464 Y'know, this new diet plan of yours just might work. 1.3793 0.11547 29 20 7 2
1465 This might give your brother the message, but you know how stubborn he can be 1.3793 0.11547 29 20 7 2
1466 Something tells me this might be a trap. 1.3793 0.12569 29 21 5 3
1467 It doesn't feel welcoming. 1.3793 0.11547 29 20 7 2
1468 Maybe we should just try to find a new babysitter. 1.3793 0.13513 29 22 3 4
1469 I don’t know if it’s enough. He’s a teenager. 1.3793 0.11547 29 20 7 2
1470 It’s called the “kitchen escape room, diet.” 1.3793 0.11547 29 20 7 2
1471 My mom really values leftovers 1.3793 0.11547 29 20 7 2
1472 This might be overkill, but we have to lose the quarantine weight somehow! 1.3750 0.11753 24 16 7 1
1473 I didn‘t expect intermittent fasting to include 6 hours of locking up and 6 hours of unlocking! 1.3750 0.13205 24 17 5 2
1474 Let the hunger games begin 1.3750 0.13205 24 17 5 2
1475 It did say "BDSM friendly" in the ad... 1.3750 0.10095 24 15 9 0
1476 My phone did the same thing to me earlier 1.3750 0.11753 24 16 7 1
1477 They say this helps with fasting. 1.3750 0.10095 24 15 9 0
1478 The easy part's done. All we gotta do is manage to block delivery somehow 1.3750 0.14512 24 18 3 3
1479 you know what, water's just fine 1.3750 0.10767 32 22 8 2
1480 Our refrigerator is onto BDSM 1.3750 0.13205 24 17 5 2
1481 Dieting is so 2019 1.3750 0.13205 24 17 5 2
1482 Well this is one way to stick to your diet 1.3750 0.11753 24 16 7 1
1483 I still see ants 1.3750 0.14512 24 18 3 3
1484 He'll just send Secret Service until the path is clear. 1.3750 0.14512 24 18 3 3
1485 You sure all this will stop the rats? 1.3750 0.13205 24 17 5 2
1486 The shelter-in-place escape room is great fun if you can get past the irony. 1.3750 0.10095 24 15 9 0
1487 Your new personal trainer lacks boundaries. 1.3750 0.14512 24 18 3 3
1488 Happy hunger games, and may the odds be ever in your favor. 1.3750 0.10095 24 15 9 0
1489 Killer diet you’ve got there, honey 1.3750 0.11753 24 16 7 1
1490 Or... Or.. how about just willpower?? 1.3750 0.11753 24 16 7 1
1491 I'm saving the leftover pizza for tomorrow. 1.3750 0.13205 24 17 5 2
1492 Well you said, ‘Get that lemon meringue pie away from me—it’s dangerous!’ 1.3750 0.13205 24 17 5 2
1493 I guess that's what mom meant when she said we'd have to figure out dinner for ourselves. 1.3750 0.13205 24 17 5 2
1494 All set. You want a beer? 1.3750 0.11753 24 16 7 1
1495 Do you think it’ll work? 1.3750 0.13205 24 17 5 2
1496 I haven’t had to do this since freshman year of college 1.3750 0.13205 24 17 5 2
1497 And that’s how we get rid of the quarantine 15! 1.3750 0.13205 24 17 5 2
1498 ‘You’re not hungry - and this should take care of the boredom” 1.3750 0.14512 24 18 3 3
1499 Now for the wifi router. 1.3750 0.14512 24 18 3 3
1500 Quarantine diet 1.3750 0.11753 24 16 7 1
1501 Now it’ll be easier for us to remember to wash our hands first 1.3750 0.14512 24 18 3 3
1502 It's doable. I've seen Mission: Impossible 1.3750 0.11753 24 16 7 1
1503 So hows your lockdown diet going? 1.3750 0.13205 24 17 5 2
1504 So how many kilos you think we’ll loose? 1.3750 0.14512 24 18 3 3
1505 Seems adequate for now. But to be on the safe side, let's toss the bong. 1.3750 0.15711 24 19 1 4
1506 The hardest part of intermittent fasting is resetting the traps every night. 1.3750 0.11753 24 16 7 1
1507 It still looks too easy. 1.3750 0.10095 24 15 9 0
1508 Maybe just not buy ice cream next time. 1.3750 0.10095 24 15 9 0
1509 So, today is THAT Monday. 1.3750 0.13205 24 17 5 2
1510 Well Joan, it’s actually empty, but now I want to open that door more than anything else in this world. 1.3750 0.11753 24 16 7 1
1511 Dang, I forgot the mustard! 1.3750 0.14512 24 18 3 3
1512 Maybe we should just try talking to him. 1.3750 0.11753 24 16 7 1
1513 I wasn't expecting this when the ad said killer kitchen. 1.3750 0.11753 24 16 7 1
1514 Hmm...I think something with a 2 step authentication would be better. 1.3750 0.14512 24 18 3 3
1515 I see the dieting kit from Medieval Weekly arrived. 1.3750 0.14512 24 18 3 3
1516 They say most accidents happen in the kitchen. 1.3750 0.13205 24 17 5 2
1517 Yes, I am on a fairly strict diet. 1.3750 0.13205 24 17 5 2
1518 I still can't figure out how Spalding ate the leftover pizza. 1.3750 0.13205 24 17 5 2
1519 Wouldn't it be easier just to start eating salads? 1.3750 0.10767 32 22 8 2
1520 Let's go out - it's safer. 1.3750 0.11666 32 23 6 3
1521 Is the "no keyto" diet. 1.3750 0.14512 24 18 3 3
1522 I can’t help but think it’s a little much, even for rats. 1.3750 0.10095 24 15 9 0
1523 Now think, when did you last have the key? 1.3750 0.13205 24 17 5 2
1524 Well, what Would You do for a Klondike bar?! 1.3750 0.13205 24 17 5 2
1525 How many weeks ago did the magician from your son's birthday party lock himself in there? 1.3750 0.13205 24 17 5 2
1526 It took 7 hours to construct. How many minutes do you think it will take us to get to the Ben & Jerry's? 1.3750 0.11753 24 16 7 1
1527 I think you're taking this diet a tad too seriously. 1.3750 0.13205 24 17 5 2
1528 Christo's home life was a lot darker than I would have expected. 1.3750 0.10095 24 15 9 0
1529 No, this wasn't in the intermittent fasting book, per se. 1.3750 0.14512 24 18 3 3
1530 Let’s go out. 1.3750 0.14512 24 18 3 3
1531 It’s either this or stop taking the Ambien at night 1.3750 0.13205 24 17 5 2
1532 Maybe we should just order in tonight. 1.3750 0.11753 24 16 7 1
1533 I’m not so sure about Jenny Craig’s new program. 1.3750 0.11753 24 16 7 1
1534 Did we consider just not buying junk food in the first place? 1.3750 0.11753 24 16 7 1
1535 Apparently, this new diet gets fast results. 1.3750 0.13205 24 17 5 2
1536 Cheat day is getting tougher 1.3750 0.11753 24 16 7 1
1537 You're overthinking. Just yank the rope. 1.3750 0.11753 24 16 7 1
1538 This should stop the night munchies 1.3750 0.13205 24 17 5 2
1539 So, I guess now that we're trying the Houdini Diet? 1.3750 0.13205 24 17 5 2
1540 Maybe we should just not buy anything with carbs. 1.3750 0.13205 24 17 5 2
1541 It's called ,The Houdini Diet." Locks and bagels. 1.3750 0.13205 24 17 5 2
1542 Wow, Mom’s really tired of your midnight raids. 1.3750 0.11753 24 16 7 1
1543 I'm only allowed to eat what escapes from the food chains. 1.3750 0.13205 24 17 5 2
1544 You’re right, it does look like the break room at work. 1.3750 0.10767 32 22 8 2
1545 First one to pop open the beer wins. 1.3750 0.13205 24 17 5 2
1546 Was it you or I who forgot we can still order in by phone 1.3750 0.11753 24 16 7 1
1547 I thought we had full access in this AirBnb! 1.3750 0.13205 24 17 5 2
1548 The realtor said we should consider re-doing the kitchen if we're planning to flip the place. 1.3750 0.09786 32 21 10 1
1549 So this is where Donald Trump keeps his tax returns? 1.3750 0.14512 24 18 3 3
1550 He’s a teenaged boy. He’ll find a way. 1.3750 0.13205 24 17 5 2
1551 It's not a diet,it's a life plan. 1.3750 0.11753 24 16 7 1
1552 WW hasn’t been the same since Oprah got involved. 1.3750 0.13205 24 17 5 2
1553 It’s part of my Houdini diet plan. 1.3750 0.13205 24 17 5 2
1554 She's obviously on the Houdini diet. 1.3750 0.11753 24 16 7 1
1555 It satisfies my cravings for both food and masochism. 1.3750 0.10095 24 15 9 0
1556 Rodents of Unusual Size? I don't think they exist. 1.3750 0.14512 24 18 3 3
1557 OK. Are you ready for that joint now? 1.3750 0.13205 24 17 5 2
1558 Looks like we are eating out again tonight. 1.3750 0.11753 24 16 7 1
1559 You're right: dinner's not gonna make itself. 1.3750 0.14512 24 18 3 3
1560 OK, this "Houdini diet" thing has officially gone too far! 1.3750 0.11666 32 23 6 3
1561 so you ARE serious about takeout? 1.3750 0.13205 24 17 5 2
1562 I like the overall theme. I just think handcuffs for the pull on the blinds would have tied it together better. 1.3750 0.10095 24 15 9 0
1563 This new diet is killing me. 1.3750 0.13205 24 17 5 2
1564 My girlfriend said this diet did wonders for her. I don’t know. What do you think? 1.3750 0.10095 24 15 9 0
1565 My diet's going very well, thank you. 1.3750 0.13205 24 17 5 2
1566 I know your brother likes to snack when he visits, but this seems extreme to me. 1.3750 0.13205 24 17 5 2
1567 Great. Now let's work on the sweatpants drawer. 1.3750 0.10095 24 15 9 0
1568 Now let's test it. 1.3750 0.14512 24 18 3 3
1569 Only ten pounds to go. 1.3750 0.11753 24 16 7 1
1570 I'm sure this will work but would it be easier to just do Weight Watchers? 1.3750 0.11753 24 16 7 1
1571 Not to be alarmist, but this new diet feels like a trap. 1.3750 0.11753 24 16 7 1
1572 That Air BnB host did seem a little creepy, didn't he? 1.3750 0.14512 24 18 3 3
1573 It all started when I put my name on her yogurt by accident. 1.3750 0.10767 32 22 8 2
1574 Do you think your parents are trying to tell you something? 1.3750 0.10095 24 15 9 0
1575 The previous owner had some self-control issues." 1.3750 0.11753 24 16 7 1
1576 Steel chain, no gain. 1.3750 0.10095 24 15 9 0
1577 I've lost 5 pounds just looking at it. 1.3750 0.11753 24 16 7 1
1578 Just how badly do you want a home cooked meal? 1.3750 0.13205 24 17 5 2
1579 Are we sure this is the best way to save on groceries during the summer? I feel like the kids won't be deterred. 1.3750 0.11666 32 23 6 3
1580 All this work made me hungry. Pizza? 1.3750 0.13205 24 17 5 2
1581 I see your mom's trying a new diet. 1.3750 0.13205 24 17 5 2
1582 Perhaps we should raid the fridge at your house instead 1.3750 0.10095 24 15 9 0
1583 I'm on this killer diet! 1.3750 0.11753 24 16 7 1
1584 Channeling Houdini 1.3750 0.13205 24 17 5 2
1585 It seemed less complicated than the point system. 1.3750 0.11753 24 16 7 1
1586 I thought we agreed to use the guest room as the dungeon." 1.3750 0.13205 24 17 5 2
1587 Looks like my roommate is being a dick about the kitchen situation... 1.3750 0.13205 24 17 5 2
1588 Then he fired the nutritionist and hired a blacksmith... 1.3750 0.12500 32 24 4 4
1589 She really doesn’t want anyone touching her sourdough starter. 1.3714 0.10113 35 24 9 2
1590 Alexa, call Dominos 1.3714 0.10913 35 25 7 3
1591 I'm beginning to second-guess our decision to go with a subscription-based kitchen. 1.3714 0.11657 35 26 5 4
1592 We'll either catch three little ones or one big one with three legs. 1.3714 0.10913 35 25 7 3
1593 ...and then when he gets in: Empty! Everything we eat is delivered. 1.3714 0.10913 35 25 7 3
1594 Well at least we can still wash our hands 1.3704 0.12111 27 19 6 2
1595 Mhmm so take out? 1.3704 0.13235 27 20 4 3
1596 Please Mistress... I just want a bottled water 💦 1.3704 0.12111 27 19 6 2
1597 Mom’s diet seems to be going well. 1.3704 0.12111 27 19 6 2
1598 All you had to do was write your name on what was yours 1.3704 0.10871 27 18 8 1
1599 Well, they did ask us to capture the essence of the outdoors in their new kitchen space. 1.3704 0.12111 27 19 6 2
1600 Think we can still rent it on Airbnb? 1.3704 0.12111 27 19 6 2
1601 It's not like we cook anyways... 1.3704 0.10871 27 18 8 1
1602 Wouldn’t it be easier to just ask the kids to help pay for their portion of the grocery bill? 1.3704 0.13235 27 20 4 3
1603 It’s open to interpretation. 1.3704 0.12111 27 19 6 2
1604 All this, and yet I forgot to delete my Uber Eats app 1.3704 0.10871 27 18 8 1
1605 I wonder if they’ll get the hint... 1.3704 0.10871 27 18 8 1
1606 Joey did say he doesn’t share food... 1.3704 0.12111 27 19 6 2
1607 so, what are we having for lunch? 1.3704 0.12111 27 19 6 2
1608 And you’re sure the sleepwalking is under control. 1.3704 0.10871 27 18 8 1
1609 Plenty of counter space though. 1.3704 0.12111 27 19 6 2
1610 So, no lasagna.... 1.3704 0.13235 27 20 4 3
1611 Where did you say you found this diet? 1.3704 0.12111 27 19 6 2
1612 I think it’s a message from your trainer 1.3704 0.10871 27 18 8 1
1613 I think freezing her credit card was not enough. 1.3704 0.12111 27 19 6 2
1614 Maybe we should have just done keto. 1.3704 0.10871 27 18 8 1
1615 This is not what I meant when I said, "Don't let me have carbs today." 1.3704 0.10871 27 18 8 1
1616 Call Dominos. 1.3704 0.10871 27 18 8 1
1617 When Mom said, "You're not touching that cake" I guess she really meant it. 1.3704 0.10871 27 18 8 1
1618 I see your lockdown diet is going well. 1.3704 0.10871 27 18 8 1
1619 It’s ok. I’m fine with takeout. 1.3704 0.12111 27 19 6 2
1620 Uber Eats and Grubhub are getting so aggressive. 1.3704 0.10871 27 18 8 1
1621 Either we've set up the perfect foil for our lack of self-control, or there's a darker side to intimacy that we need to explore." 1.3704 0.12111 27 19 6 2
1622 Don't like it either - with three teenage boys, we have no other option. 1.3704 0.12111 27 19 6 2
1623 So, I guess Mom is saying, "No more snacks." 1.3704 0.12111 27 19 6 2
1624 After trying paleo I decided to skip ahead to the Iron Age 1.3704 0.12111 27 19 6 2
1625 Or we could simply ask them to bring their own food. 1.3704 0.12111 27 19 6 2
1626 There has to be a better way to keep the kids from playing hide 'n seek in the fridge." 1.3704 0.12111 27 19 6 2
1627 The flow's still not right. 1.3704 0.10871 27 18 8 1
1628 I'm beginning to suspect our new flatmate isn't into food sharing. 1.3704 0.13235 27 20 4 3
1629 Well, you've tried everything else 1.3704 0.12111 27 19 6 2
1630 I think it's going to be a very, very late lunch... 1.3704 0.09471 27 17 10 0
1631 Why don’t we just order in again? 1.3704 0.13235 27 20 4 3
1632 Is this your answer to "do these pants make me look fat?" 1.3704 0.09471 27 17 10 0
1633 The oranges were shipped from Florida. 1.3704 0.12111 27 19 6 2
1634 On the one hand, we could die, but on the other... Pudding! 1.3704 0.13235 27 20 4 3
1635 I think your parents want you to start feeding yourself. 1.3704 0.13235 27 20 4 3
1636 Can we just cut bait and run? 1.3704 0.13235 27 20 4 3
1637 It's OK, I know a guy. 1.3704 0.12111 27 19 6 2
1638 I guess mom’s not cooking today. 1.3704 0.10871 27 18 8 1
1639 I'm pretty sure I said ant traps. 1.3704 0.12111 27 19 6 2
1640 Since I moved back, my parents have gotten, like, super weird. 1.3704 0.13235 27 20 4 3
1641 That reminds me ... isn't your sister coming over this weekend? 1.3704 0.09471 27 17 10 0
1642 I wasn’t hungry anyway. 1.3704 0.12111 27 19 6 2
1643 Wouldn't it be easier to join Jenny Craig? 1.3704 0.12111 27 19 6 2
1644 This might be a trap! 1.3704 0.12111 27 19 6 2
1645 I guess it starts today. 1.3704 0.12111 27 19 6 2
1646 Please tell me you have the key to the locks. 1.3704 0.13235 27 20 4 3
1647 Maybe it's time to order in ... 1.3704 0.09471 27 17 10 0
1648 Still not convinced that'll stop a teenager. 1.3704 0.12111 27 19 6 2
1649 You're serious about this diet, aren't you. 1.3704 0.09471 27 17 10 0
1650 But what do we do with our cage-free eggs? 1.3704 0.12111 27 19 6 2
1651 Looks like Jarred brought home the fancy goat cheese. 1.3704 0.13235 27 20 4 3
1652 You'ed think he wouldn't notice a missing apple. 1.3704 0.12111 27 19 6 2
1653 Pretty strict diet, huh babe? 1.3704 0.13235 27 20 4 3
1654 I don’t know. Chip and Joanna are using more polished steel in their kitchens. 1.3704 0.10871 27 18 8 1
1655 Are we sure this will fix my sleepwalking? 1.3704 0.12111 27 19 6 2
1656 What was it that Mom said, exactly? 1.3704 0.13235 27 20 4 3
1657 No thanks. I ate before I got here. 1.3704 0.14271 27 21 2 4
1658 In case you haven’t noticed, I’m on a diet. 1.3704 0.09471 27 17 10 0
1659 Is it fair to Granny though? I mean, her vision, right? 1.3704 0.10871 27 18 8 1
1660 Another excessive response to dieting. 1.3704 0.12111 27 19 6 2
1661 That takes care of our toilet paper shortage. 1.3704 0.13235 27 20 4 3
1662 All I'm saying we tried the same thing at work, and food still got stolen. 1.3704 0.13235 27 20 4 3
1663 What's our safe word? 1.3684 0.11370 19 12 7 0
1664 We still have to wait two more days before it's safe to eat the new groceries. 1.3684 0.15692 19 14 3 2
1665 I guess this means Mom's on another diet? 1.3684 0.15692 19 14 3 2
1666 How about we stop buying bacon instead 1.3667 0.11227 30 21 7 2
1667 I’m not sure this is what they meant by child locks. 1.3667 0.11227 30 21 7 2
1668 Does the ice maker still work? 1.3667 0.10152 30 20 9 1
1669 ...or you could just wear a mask. 1.3667 0.11227 30 21 7 2
1670 Now which one of us hides the key? 1.3667 0.12208 30 22 5 3
1671 ...and if he catches us with his food, we'll just say we didn't see any locks and stuff. 1.3667 0.12208 30 22 5 3
1672 I usually get takeout, it's so much easier than cooking at home. 1.3667 0.12208 30 22 5 3
1673 I dunno, I'm still thinking about that chocolate cake. 1.3667 0.10152 30 20 9 1
1674 Maybe the 5/2 would be simpler. 1.3667 0.12208 30 22 5 3
1675 Paleo diet? More like im-paleo diet." 1.3667 0.11227 30 21 7 2
1676 All those empty shelves at the grocery in March kinda freaked mom out. 1.3667 0.12208 30 22 5 3
1677 Think it's too much? 1.3667 0.10152 30 20 9 1
1678 I just think Weight Watchers is easier. 1.3667 0.10152 30 20 9 1
1679 Yeah, this should definitely increase my at-home work productivity. 1.3667 0.11227 30 21 7 2
1680 And you're certain the boxes said BABY proof? 1.3667 0.11227 30 21 7 2
1681 Don't kinkshame me, bitch. 1.3667 0.13116 30 23 3 4
1682 Think that will keep the cat out? 1.3667 0.10152 30 20 9 1
1683 We’re going to need a bigger nightlight. 1.3636 0.14028 22 16 4 2
1684 The diet starts today, honey. 1.3636 0.14028 22 16 4 2
1685 My roommate claims he only eats my food when he sleepwalks. This will wake him up. 1.3636 0.14028 22 16 4 2
1686 Just putting it on the top shelf wasn’t working anymore 1.3636 0.10497 22 14 8 0
1687 Should we do the living room next? 1.3636 0.14028 22 16 4 2
1688 Now we will catch that cookie monster! 1.3636 0.14028 22 16 4 2
1689 Our new diet plan. 1.3636 0.12389 22 15 6 1
1690 Cool. No more dishes! 1.3636 0.10497 22 14 8 0
1691 Dad’s taking his diet pretty seriously this time. 1.3636 0.12389 22 15 6 1
1692 We’ve been working on self control 1.3636 0.12389 22 15 6 1
1693 Phase 3, not bad 1.3636 0.14028 22 16 4 2
1694 Is this what you meant when you said gluten is dangerous? 1.3636 0.10497 22 14 8 0
1695 Yeaaah let’s get pizza 1.3636 0.14028 22 16 4 2
1696 I think I preferred her keto phase. 1.3636 0.12389 22 15 6 1
1697 But do they spark joy? 1.3636 0.12389 22 15 6 1
1698 Maybe we should have bought some groceries first 1.3636 0.15494 22 17 2 3
1699 You just *had* to take Dave's last beer... 1.3636 0.14028 22 16 4 2
1700 It’s called the Spanish Inquisition Diet. 1.3636 0.14028 22 16 4 2
1701 Ok,we agree,then. No more $600 Costco runs. 1.3636 0.15494 22 17 2 3
1702 Let's see Dad try to get my leftovers now. 1.3636 0.12389 22 15 6 1
1703 Wouldn't it be easier to just join Weight Watchers? 1.3636 0.14028 22 16 4 2
1704 Eat out? 1.3636 0.12389 22 15 6 1
1705 I can't believe what a restauranteur will do to get us to come back and eat inside again! 1.3636 0.14028 22 16 4 2
1706 I think we finally got the food under control. 1.3636 0.10497 22 14 8 0
1707 You want to order in tonight? 1.3636 0.14028 22 16 4 2
1708 I’m trying that new “Houdini Diet”... 1.3636 0.12389 22 15 6 1
1709 Today we start our diet for real. 1.3636 0.12389 22 15 6 1
1710 Do you think the ice cream will be able to break out, navigate the hazards, and find you in the bedroom? 1.3636 0.14028 22 16 4 2
1711 It's the Charles Addams diet. 1.3636 0.12389 22 15 6 1
1712 NOW will you do the dishes? 1.3636 0.14028 22 16 4 2
1713 It's my Zoom background for Weight Watchers. 1.3636 0.14028 22 16 4 2
1714 Is there any leftovers from the party in there? 1.3636 0.12389 22 15 6 1
1715 Hmm, you're right, I think a line of fire would really work right here 1.3636 0.12389 22 15 6 1
1716 Still haven't lost a single pound... 1.3636 0.09553 33 22 10 1
1717 ...or you can just ask your roommate "can you please not drink my beer?". 1.3636 0.14028 22 16 4 2
1718 It's my PPE for the Covid 5. 1.3636 0.10497 22 14 8 0
1719 Maybe we should have just joined a gym. 1.3636 0.14028 22 16 4 2
1720 It always looks better than it tastes, anyway. 1.3636 0.10497 22 14 8 0
1721 I also rigged our phones to explode if we order takeout. 1.3636 0.12389 22 15 6 1
1722 I don't think we can do anything more to lose the Covid 15 (lbs) 1.3636 0.12389 22 15 6 1
1723 It could be a diet, or it could be a reality TV show. 1.3636 0.15494 22 17 2 3
1724 I know the bears are bad this year, but couldn’t we have just barred the windows? 1.3636 0.12389 22 15 6 1
1725 Take out is still looking pretty good. 1.3636 0.12389 22 15 6 1
1726 Oh man, the expiration date on the sour cream suddenly seems important. 1.3636 0.14028 22 16 4 2
1727 I specifically said, "A moat. Where is the moat?" 1.3636 0.15494 22 17 2 3
1728 I thought it was called the Houdini diet because the pounds just vanish. 1.3636 0.15494 22 17 2 3
1729 Yes, our son is a teenager. How did you guess? 1.3636 0.15494 22 17 2 3
1730 If this doesn't get your brotber to move out, then we will. 1.3636 0.14028 22 16 4 2
1731 I guess we should have paid the extra fee for kitchen privileges. 1.3636 0.14028 22 16 4 2
1732 It's only until my brother leaves. 1.3636 0.14028 22 16 4 2
1733 It's on the market as is. 1.3636 0.12389 22 15 6 1
1734 Are you sure the president said this would stop the coronavirus? 1.3636 0.14028 22 16 4 2
1735 So no more midnight snacks. Got it. 1.3636 0.10497 22 14 8 0
1736 There, now carbs will be the least of our worries. 1.3636 0.12389 22 15 6 1
1737 ...OR we could just not buy the ice cream in the first place. 1.3636 0.12389 22 15 6 1
1738 Are you sure he has done an escape like this before? 1.3636 0.12389 22 15 6 1
1739 When they said the place was baby proofed, this isn't exactly what I had in mind. 1.3636 0.12389 22 15 6 1
1740 It still needs something... 1.3636 0.12389 22 15 6 1
1741 This should help us get rid of that COVID-19 pounds. 1.3636 0.14028 22 16 4 2
1742 Millie told me it's the first diet plan she's tried that really works. 1.3636 0.12389 22 15 6 1
1743 It's my mom's new BaitWatchers program. 1.3636 0.14028 22 16 4 2
1744 Unload the dishwasher”...I get it. 1.3636 0.14028 22 16 4 2
1745 Maybe we should have considered going keto first. 1.3636 0.14028 22 16 4 2
1746 I have gained weight during the shutdown, but this is extreme. 1.3636 0.12389 22 15 6 1
1747 We'll find out soon who is raiding the refrigerator at night. 1.3636 0.12389 22 15 6 1
1748 Damn, we really are bored. 1.3636 0.14028 22 16 4 2
1749 The previous tenant was on a very strict diet. 1.3636 0.10497 22 14 8 0
1750 It works great stopping Dad's snacking, it just gets a bit tricky at mealtime. 1.3636 0.12389 22 15 6 1
1751 You should see what she does with the TV remotes. 1.3636 0.10497 33 23 8 2
1752 I can’t understand how I still managed to gain two pounds this week. 1.3636 0.14028 22 16 4 2
1753 His nutritionist is also a blacksmith... 1.3636 0.15494 22 17 2 3
1754 I think we should go back to Keto; this new diet fad seems like overkill 1.3600 0.12754 25 18 5 2
1755 Well, the President said this is how you get rid of the corona virus 1.3600 0.12754 25 18 5 2
1756 Don't you think the Airbnb policies are getting a bit excessive these days? 1.3600 0.12754 25 18 5 2
1757 Having the kids home again has been different than I thought. 1.3600 0.12754 25 18 5 2
1758 I only ate ONE of his yogurts... 1.3600 0.11372 25 17 7 1
1759 It was this or self-hypnosis 1.3600 0.14000 25 19 3 3
1760 Is this what they meant by lockdown? 1.3600 0.12754 25 18 5 2
1761 Never did understand ikea furniture 1.3600 0.12754 25 18 5 2
1762 Ant season again, huh? 1.3600 0.12754 25 18 5 2
1763 You weren’t kidding when you said food costs an arm and a leg 1.3600 0.12754 25 18 5 2
1764 Wouldn't it have been easier to just wire his jaw shut? 1.3600 0.14000 25 19 3 3
1765 There's gotta be a trick to it. 1.3600 0.12754 25 18 5 2
1766 Does this place have wi-fi? 1.3600 0.12754 25 18 5 2
1767 Next time, let’s go to my place. 1.3600 0.14000 25 19 3 3
1768 Do you have an outside fridge? 1.3600 0.11372 25 17 7 1
1769 There will obviously be a night security guard as well 1.3600 0.11372 25 17 7 1
1770 All this to catch the Cookie Monster? 1.3600 0.12754 25 18 5 2
1771 I say we risk eating out. 1.3600 0.11372 25 17 7 1
1772 Maybe we should just wait for the vaccine. 1.3600 0.14000 25 19 3 3
1773 Clearly the homeowner has teenage boys. 1.3600 0.09798 25 16 9 0
1774 Your Klondike bars should be safe now! 1.3600 0.11372 25 17 7 1
1775 He's only four but he's very precocious 1.3600 0.12754 25 18 5 2
1776 I just wish the kitchen had more natural lighting. 1.3600 0.12754 25 18 5 2
1777 We should never have named the cat Houdini. 1.3600 0.12754 25 18 5 2
1778 So, there’s a chance that there’s ice cream in there? 1.3600 0.11372 25 17 7 1
1779 It’s a weight loss system that relies on negative reinforcement. 1.3600 0.11372 25 17 7 1
1780 I think I’ll be sticking to this diet 1.3600 0.14000 25 19 3 3
1781 I like my odds here over any restaurant. 1.3600 0.12754 25 18 5 2
1782 Yes, I WILL be a size two by our wedding day. 1.3600 0.12754 25 18 5 2
1783 Perfect, now that we’re safely away from the quinoa, kale and wheat germ, let’s order some pizza and wings. 1.3600 0.12754 25 18 5 2
1784 Is it that difficult to wait for the Jell-O to set? 1.3600 0.14000 25 19 3 3
1785 “Closing the back door could also keep out the bears.” 1.3600 0.11372 25 17 7 1
1786 Are you sure you're lactose intolerant? 1.3600 0.12754 25 18 5 2
1787 You could just try willpower. 1.3600 0.12754 25 18 5 2
1788 Are you sure it was Oprah? 1.3600 0.12754 25 18 5 2
1789 Don't you think we're taking this diet a bit too far? 1.3600 0.12754 25 18 5 2
1790 All this cause someone took your pudding cup. 1.3600 0.14000 25 19 3 3
1791 Ok here is your mid century modern kitchen—you guess the century—I’ll show you the bedrooms if you’d follow me. 1.3600 0.14000 25 19 3 3
1792 Remember when all we had to worry about was his rolling off the changing table? 1.3600 0.12754 25 18 5 2
1793 It'll go great with the new liquor cabinet. 1.3600 0.12754 25 18 5 2
1794 Should stop that midnight snacking. 1.3600 0.12754 25 18 5 2
1795 OK, I think we're ready. Go pick up the babysitter while I put the kids down. 1.3600 0.12754 25 18 5 2
1796 It didn’t work. Your friend Houdini just texted me from next door. 1.3600 0.12754 25 18 5 2
1797 This should work. I need a break after the last 9 1/2 weeks. 1.3600 0.12754 25 18 5 2
1798 My nutritionist did a home visit. 1.3600 0.14000 25 19 3 3
1799 The beauty of this kitchen is that the dishwasher is easy access 1.3600 0.14000 25 19 3 3
1800 How’s the diet going? 1.3600 0.12754 25 18 5 2
1801 It's the latest dining trend: 'harm to table.' 1.3600 0.09798 25 16 9 0
1802 The carbs will kill you. 1.3600 0.14000 25 19 3 3
1803 Good job. What say we go out for some ice cream 1.3600 0.12754 25 18 5 2
1804 Well ... my parents aren't thrilled that I'm moving back home. 1.3600 0.14000 25 19 3 3
1805 I don't think our new roommate wants us sharing his food. 1.3600 0.12754 25 18 5 2
1806 It looked bigger in the catalogue. 1.3600 0.12754 25 18 5 2
1807 Wouldn’t it be easier just not to buy ice cream in the first place? 1.3600 0.14000 25 19 3 3
1808 And you said this diet is completely safe, right? 1.3600 0.11372 25 17 7 1
1809 Wow! Mom must really be serious about this diet! 1.3600 0.12754 25 18 5 2
1810 And this is our kitchen. Try to ignore the mess... My roommate accidentally ordered her bridesmaid's dress in a European size. 1.3600 0.12754 25 18 5 2
1811 Maybe he's starting to take this keto diet a little too seriously. 1.3600 0.12754 25 18 5 2
1812 Wouldn’t you rather go out for dinner tonight? 1.3600 0.14000 25 19 3 3
1813 Now we’ll lose the weight for sure... 1.3600 0.11372 25 17 7 1
1814 I'm okay with the handcuffs, but this is no way! 1.3600 0.14000 25 19 3 3
1815 Okay, let's order pizza. 1.3600 0.09798 25 16 9 0
1816 This ought to stop the fridge from running” 1.3600 0.11372 25 17 7 1
1817 It was either this or assassinate Ben & Jerry. 1.3600 0.12754 25 18 5 2
1818 Yeah, I think my diet's going pretty well. 1.3600 0.12754 25 18 5 2
1819 So how much weight does your sister need to lose? 1.3600 0.09798 25 16 9 0
1820 Mom says the kitchen's closed. 1.3600 0.14000 25 19 3 3
1821 If you can grab the butter pecan in one motion I think you’ll narrowly avoid the bear traps. 1.3600 0.09798 25 16 9 0
1822 This diet is by far the most dangerous you've tried so far. 1.3600 0.12754 25 18 5 2
1823 Take out 1.3571 0.10559 28 19 8 1
1824 You're really gonna ask me to make you a sandwich? 1.3571 0.10559 28 19 8 1
1825 Maybe we should get take out. 1.3571 0.11745 28 20 6 2
1826 Food security for the Food Secure. 1.3571 0.12822 28 21 4 3
1827 You’re not in the office anymore honey, nobody is gonna steal your lunch 1.3571 0.11745 28 20 6 2
1828 Can we just go back to diet pills? 1.3571 0.12822 28 21 4 3
1829 I know it's a lockdown but damn! 1.3571 0.12822 28 21 4 3
1830 Besides loosing his excess weight, young Houdini was taught by his parents the craft that served him for a lifetime. 1.3571 0.11745 28 20 6 2
1831 It’s called intermittent fasting. We do this every Tuesday. 1.3571 0.10559 28 19 8 1
1832 The kids complained of boredom, so we told them to get creative... 1.3571 0.11745 28 20 6 2
1833 Ha! That's the last time Eric is stealing my Ben & Jerry's 1.3571 0.12822 28 21 4 3
1834 Say what you will, but this setup kept our toilet paper supply safe. 1.3571 0.12822 28 21 4 3
1835 Um, "who stole the cookies from the cookie jar" was only a rhetorical question. 1.3571 0.11745 28 20 6 2
1836 I'm thinking that new Carnivore Diet isn't what we thought we signed up for. 1.3571 0.10559 28 19 8 1
1837 You left the wine rack out of this...right? 1.3571 0.10559 28 19 8 1
1838 For the last time Larry, that’s not what they meant with lockdown. 1.3571 0.11745 28 20 6 2
1839 It seems that Dad has gotten serious about us not eating his leftover Chicken Parm. 1.3571 0.12822 28 21 4 3
1840 how much do you think the government will pay us for a real life cookie monster? 1.3571 0.11745 28 20 6 2
1841 What will we do with the kids once we've caught them? 1.3571 0.11745 28 20 6 2
1842 Soooo...stop drinking straight from the milk carton is what you’re suggesting? 1.3571 0.10559 28 19 8 1
1843 Okay, so we're food secure--now what? 1.3571 0.11745 28 20 6 2
1844 The push to reopen restaurants is entering a new phase. 1.3571 0.12822 28 21 4 3
1845 It may be a little overkill to lose a few pounds. 1.3571 0.09221 28 18 10 0
1846 It’s my new performance art piece. How do you like it? 1.3571 0.13815 28 22 2 4
1847 Impressive, but putting the keys inside the fridge was the real stroke of genius. 1.3571 0.10559 28 19 8 1
1848 Baby, sometimes it feels like moving in together...might be a trap 1.3571 0.12822 28 21 4 3
1849 So, this half of the apartment will be mine... 1.3571 0.11745 28 20 6 2
1850 Fasting is way easier than I thought it would be. 1.3571 0.11745 28 20 6 2
1851 But the kids love whack-a-mole! 1.3571 0.10559 28 19 8 1
1852 No, it’s actually the scars-dale diet. 1.3571 0.10559 28 19 8 1
1853 Primitive, yet elegant in its functionality 1.3571 0.12822 28 21 4 3
1854 It’s considered a post pandemic modern art era masterpiece. 1.3571 0.12822 28 21 4 3
1855 I miss the Atkins Diet. 1.3571 0.12822 28 21 4 3
1856 You pretty sure this is Phase 3 according to Weight Watchers? 1.3571 0.12822 28 21 4 3
1857 If I was a set of keys, where would I be? 1.3571 0.10559 28 19 8 1
1858 One more raccoon and we're outta here 1.3571 0.10559 28 19 8 1
1859 We should have made dinner first. 1.3571 0.12822 28 21 4 3
1860 I thought we'd have bagels and locks. 1.3571 0.09221 28 18 10 0
1861 If you really think you trapped the virus, you should at least get confirmation from Fauci. 1.3571 0.11745 28 20 6 2
1862 You think the kids have had it with sheltering in place 1.3571 0.10559 28 19 8 1
1863 See, I told you not to eat Dad's special yogurt." 1.3571 0.11745 28 20 6 2
1864 Do you think our son will get the hint and leave home? 1.3571 0.12822 28 21 4 3
1865 The pest control guy said we had what? 1.3571 0.12822 28 21 4 3
1866 ... And we left the keys inside. 1.3571 0.12822 28 21 4 3
1867 We’re ready if PaPa Bear returns 1.3571 0.11745 28 20 6 2
1868 I appreciate you want to keep from snacking, but what are you going to do about dinner? 1.3571 0.11745 28 20 6 2
1869 Your mother was serious about not touching her brisket! 1.3571 0.10559 28 19 8 1
1870 Now can we have sex? 1.3571 0.12822 28 21 4 3
1871 So let me guess . . . you really want takeout. 1.3571 0.11745 28 20 6 2
1872 This feels like a "white people" problem. 1.3571 0.12822 28 21 4 3
1873 And this is all just to catch a mouse? 1.3571 0.12822 28 21 4 3
1874 Do you think it's easier to maybe just stop taking Ambien? 1.3571 0.11745 28 20 6 2
1875 You said the same thing about the new dishwasher. 1.3571 0.12822 28 21 4 3
1876 Who knew the cockroaches would go on the offensive? 1.3571 0.11745 28 20 6 2
1877 I've lost five pounds so far on the medieval diet plan 1.3571 0.11745 28 20 6 2
1878 I guess Mom thinks this will work better than a restraining order." 1.3571 0.12822 28 21 4 3
1879 Could we go back to counting calories? 1.3571 0.11745 28 20 6 2
1880 It's working. We've lost 63 pounds between us. 1.3571 0.11745 28 20 6 2
1881 Get in fast, grab the kale, grab the bacon, and you can name our next son after your father. 1.3571 0.11745 28 20 6 2
1882 They said they found a unique way to solve their mouse problem. 1.3571 0.10559 28 19 8 1
1883 Wait, did you say Impaleo Diet? 1.3571 0.11745 28 20 6 2
1884 Next time, we’ll just fill the fridge with fruits and vegetables. 1.3571 0.12822 28 21 4 3
1885 I guess it’s safe to invite the weight watcher group over 1.3571 0.10559 28 19 8 1
1886 I'm going to go ahead and guess that you took the last fudge pop. 1.3571 0.12822 28 21 4 3
1887 How does Goldilocks determine which trap is....Just Right....? 1.3571 0.12822 28 21 4 3
1888 Well that’s one way to stop a refrigerator from running 1.3571 0.13815 28 22 2 4
1889 Maybe now our kids won’t eat us out of house and home! 1.3571 0.10559 28 19 8 1
1890 This should keep us from eating our anxiety during lockdown. 1.3571 0.12822 28 21 4 3
1891 All the classic trappings of Stock Home Syndrome.” 1.3571 0.10559 28 19 8 1
1892 I bet there's nothing to eat here anyway. 1.3571 0.11745 28 20 6 2
1893 It's a closed kitchen concept. 1.3571 0.10559 28 19 8 1
1894 John, the twins are 8; it’ll take them less than 10 minutes to figure it out! 1.3571 0.12822 28 21 4 3
1895 Mom's never liked anyone else messing around in her kitchen. 1.3571 0.10559 28 19 8 1
1896 Okay, I'm fine with tap water for now. 1.3571 0.12822 28 21 4 3
1897 You're taking this diet too serious! 1.3571 0.11745 28 20 6 2
1898 This is the shared kitchen. Very safe - You'll notice the hand sanitizer by the sink. 1.3571 0.10559 28 19 8 1
1899 At least it isn't passive-aggressive 1.3571 0.11745 28 20 6 2
1900 ‘you know this won’t stop me drinking before midday, you realise that right?’ 1.3548 0.12741 31 24 3 4
1901 Wait until you see what’s in there. 1.3548 0.10923 31 22 7 2
1902 Maybe we shouldn't have told Timmy that we're the ones eating his ice cream... 1.3548 0.12741 31 24 3 4
1903 You typed "AirDnD," didn't you? 1.3548 0.11867 31 23 5 3
1904 So I read about this diet in North Korea Today ... 1.3548 0.10923 31 22 7 2
1905 There were footprints in the butter again this morning. 1.3548 0.09890 31 21 9 1
1906 Maybe we should rethink this Medival diet thing. 1.3548 0.10923 31 22 7 2
1907 What did you say the name of this diet was? 1.3548 0.11867 31 23 5 3
1908 I guess we'll find out which one of us is cheating on our diet... 1.3548 0.10923 31 22 7 2
1909 Paleo diet was a bust for me, but Medieval is working great. 1.3529 0.14706 17 12 4 1
1910 We’ve survived worst 1.3500 0.15000 20 15 3 2
1911 And I locked the keys inside! You can never be too careful. 1.3500 0.13129 20 14 5 1
1912 Brilliant diet idea, but you realize this plan will be undermined by Uber eats. 1.3500 0.15000 20 15 3 2
1913 This should keep the virus out, and we'll just order take-out delivery any time we want. 1.3500 0.15000 20 15 3 2
1914 Sorry, my mom has the house on the market. 1.3500 0.13129 20 14 5 1
1915 That oughta keep the virus out! 1.3500 0.13129 20 14 5 1
1916 I feel like AA would have more effective...and less dangerous. 1.3500 0.13129 20 14 5 1
1917 Well, I don't know. Covid is pretty sneaky. 1.3500 0.13129 20 14 5 1
1918 That's fine, but what've you got planned for Grubhub? 1.3500 0.15000 20 15 3 2
1919 This new diet gives us back that hour-a-day that we spend opening the fridge and peeking through its contents 1.3478 0.14889 23 18 2 3
1920 It seemed like a good idea when I wasn't hungry 1.3478 0.11943 23 16 6 1
1921 I call it ‘Fort Lox’”.. 1.3478 0.14889 23 18 2 3
1922 The French doors are a nice touch, but lack of counter space is a deal breaker for me 1.3478 0.11943 23 16 6 1
1923 Bill gets out of intensive care tomorrow. I told him that pint of ice cream wasn't worth it. 1.3478 0.13497 23 17 4 2
1924 Sure, help yourself with whatever’s in the fridge 1.3478 0.13497 23 17 4 2
1925 Gotta stop eating... I’ve already gained the “COVID-19” pounds 1.3478 0.14889 23 18 2 3
1926 Let’s eat first then we’ll figure it out 1.3478 0.11943 23 16 6 1
1927 Whose turn is it? 1.3478 0.11943 23 16 6 1
1928 I think I preferred the dieting app. 1.3478 0.11943 23 16 6 1
1929 . "For an opened bottle of Pinot Grigio and a ham sandwich, ask yourself, is it worth the risk?" 1.3478 0.11943 23 16 6 1
1930 Don’t worry, I put the chocolate in the garage. 1.3478 0.11943 23 16 6 1
1931 So anyway, I just ordered some chocolate cake for delivery. 1.3478 0.13497 23 17 4 2
1932 So you said you heard a squeak... 1.3478 0.11943 23 16 6 1
1933 These TikTok challenges are getting out of hand 1.3478 0.11943 23 16 6 1
1934 I think this time breaking the Diet will be really painful 1.3478 0.11943 23 16 6 1
1935 I said mid-century modern not medieval modern. 1.3478 0.11943 23 16 6 1
1936 Babe, the groceries are still in the car. 1.3478 0.13497 23 17 4 2
1937 I can't remember where we put the toilet paper. 1.3478 0.11943 23 16 6 1
1938 We would've ended up ordering takeout anyway. 1.3478 0.11943 23 16 6 1
1939 Yeah, but what about when we want something? 1.3478 0.10154 23 15 8 0
1940 Personally, I prefer an open plan kitchen. 1.3478 0.13497 23 17 4 2
1941 He was dead serious when he said room and no board 1.3478 0.11943 23 16 6 1
1942 Your new Weight Watchers sponsor is impressively proactive. 1.3478 0.10154 23 15 8 0
1943 The realtor did say the previous owners had a pretty big rat problem. 1.3478 0.11943 23 16 6 1
1944 Well, now I'm really hungry! 1.3478 0.11943 23 16 6 1
1945 But if it doesn’t work I’m ready to give Noom a try. 1.3478 0.13497 23 17 4 2
1946 Didn't they tell us we have complete run of the house? 1.3478 0.10154 23 15 8 0
1947 All stainless appliances and traps. Very nice. 1.3478 0.13497 23 17 4 2
1948 What more does she want?! I’ve apologized twice already for finishing her Häagen-Dazs... 1.3478 0.11943 23 16 6 1
1949 W!ow! Weight Watchers isn't kidding around with their new 'Extreme' version 1.3478 0.11943 23 16 6 1
1950 We deserve a reward for all this work. Let's have GrubHub send us over a couple of hot fudge sundaes. 1.3478 0.13497 23 17 4 2
1951 So you don’t remember where you left the keys... 1.3478 0.14889 23 18 2 3
1952 Well, she did say we could help ourselves to anything in the fridge. 1.3478 0.13497 23 17 4 2
1953 Mom's still on strike I see 1.3478 0.11943 23 16 6 1
1954 Guess we should've asked Airbnb if kitchen privileges are included. 1.3478 0.13497 23 17 4 2
1955 Hmmm...whatever is inside must be worth the risk. 1.3478 0.11943 23 16 6 1
1956 Can't you just put your name on your stuff like everybody else? 1.3478 0.10154 23 15 8 0
1957 We forgot to turn off the ice maker! 1.3478 0.11943 23 16 6 1
1958 I just wish you'd said you wanted a sandwich first. 1.3478 0.11943 23 16 6 1
1959 Or you could just try weening yourself off of the Ambien 1.3478 0.13497 23 17 4 2
1960 Shall we try it? 1.3478 0.13497 23 17 4 2
1961 This should take care of the sleepwalking problem. 1.3478 0.11943 23 16 6 1
1962 No more dishes to wash. 1.3478 0.14889 23 18 2 3
1963 I guess Weight Watchers is no longer using the point system... 1.3478 0.11943 23 16 6 1
1964 Alright, I'll order take-out. 1.3478 0.11943 23 16 6 1
1965 Or, we could order some take-out. 1.3478 0.11943 23 16 6 1
1966 You need bait ! 1.3478 0.13497 23 17 4 2
1967 American Journal of Health Behavior, volume 38, page 871. 1.3478 0.14889 23 18 2 3
1968 I think I've found something I won't do for a Klondike Bar. 1.3478 0.11943 23 16 6 1
1969 Mom does NOT want us snacking before dinner. 1.3478 0.11943 23 16 6 1
1970 So this is why Tommy laughed when I told him "kitchen's closed." 1.3478 0.11943 23 16 6 1
1971 It was this or self acceptance. 1.3478 0.11943 23 16 6 1
1972 I think we should stop binge-watching Game of Thrones for a couple of weeks. 1.3478 0.11943 23 16 6 1
1973 Just until I break in the new babysitter. 1.3478 0.10154 23 15 8 0
1974 You know how your father likes a midnight snack. 1.3478 0.11943 23 16 6 1
1975 I see your taking this latest diet really seriously" 1.3478 0.10154 23 15 8 0
1976 I'm glad I keep my beer in the garage fridge. 1.3478 0.11943 23 16 6 1
1977 So, exactly what did your doctor say about calories?" 1.3478 0.13497 23 17 4 2
1978 Broccoli, turnips, jicama, rutabaga, they're all in there. All of them! Now we're safe. 1.3478 0.11943 23 16 6 1
1979 There. That should keep us away from that nasty orzo and kale. 1.3478 0.11943 23 16 6 1
1980 Well, it's definitely babyproofed 1.3478 0.11943 23 16 6 1
1981 I wonder what Dad is really saying. 1.3478 0.11943 23 16 6 1
1982 Either way you're losing twenty pounds 1.3478 0.11943 23 16 6 1
1983 I guess my mom knows we’re stoned 1.3478 0.11943 23 16 6 1
1984 Still, there must be a way. 1.3478 0.10154 23 15 8 0
1985 You're the one who said you wanted to lose weight. 1.3478 0.10154 23 15 8 0
1986 It's the new survival diet ... how hungry are you? 1.3478 0.11943 23 16 6 1
1987 And then she brought home a sourdough starter, so... 1.3478 0.13497 23 17 4 2
1988 What’s the Safe Word again ? 1.3478 0.13497 23 17 4 2
1989 Must be some really good food in there. 1.3478 0.11943 23 16 6 1
1990 So where do you think the host left our welcome basket?" 1.3478 0.11943 23 16 6 1
1991 So, who needs will power? 1.3478 0.11943 23 16 6 1
1992 The good news is we can still order delivery. 1.3478 0.13497 23 17 4 2
1993 I'll call Grubhub. 1.3478 0.11943 23 16 6 1
1994 It's called Bait Watchers. 1.3478 0.10154 23 15 8 0
1995 I've already lost fifteen pounds and three roommates. 1.3478 0.13497 23 17 4 2
1996 You are sure this would outsmart the squirrels. 1.3478 0.13497 23 17 4 2
1997 I thought you meant a sex dungeon. 1.3462 0.13522 26 20 3 3
1998 I guess we'll be cooking remotely tonight 1.3462 0.12332 26 19 5 2
1999 It’s only temporary until the kids go back to school 1.3462 0.11014 26 18 7 1
2000 I'm not hungry, I'm not hungry, I'm not hungry 1.3462 0.09515 26 17 9 0
2001 Are you sure you deleted all the delivery apps from your phone? 1.3462 0.11014 26 18 7 1
2002 I’m not hungry right now...We’ll have to smoke to really see how effective it is. 1.3462 0.11014 26 18 7 1
2003 That mouse doesn’t stand a chance. 1.3462 0.12332 26 19 5 2
2004 we could just try wearing masks. 1.3462 0.12332 26 19 5 2
2005 Well, the fasting part is covered. The intermittent bit still needs work” 1.3462 0.12332 26 19 5 2
2006 Are you also thinking we need more bear traps? 1.3462 0.11014 26 18 7 1
2007 So tell me again why you pay for Weight Watchers? 1.3462 0.11014 26 18 7 1
2008 Maybe we should try Weight Watchers first. 1.3462 0.11014 26 18 7 1
2009 Stores are pretty well stocked now. Maybe it’s time to ease up on the pandemic rationing? 1.3462 0.12332 26 19 5 2
2010 We could've just joined a gym. 1.3462 0.12332 26 19 5 2
2011 I remember the third drink, but nothing after that... 1.3462 0.12332 26 19 5 2
2012 ...and we won't let him out until after the election. 1.3462 0.13522 26 20 3 3
2013 These Airbnb owners' closets are getting ridiculous. 1.3462 0.14615 26 21 1 4
2014 I think you should consider letting him eat the yogurt 1.3462 0.11014 26 18 7 1
2015 Somehow, it just doesn't work for me. 1.3462 0.12332 26 19 5 2
2016 Looks like she’s on the Lock and Key-to Diet. 1.3462 0.12332 26 19 5 2
2017 Are you sure you got the childproofing kit? 1.3462 0.13522 26 20 3 3
2018 Maybe we should have checked to see what we did have access too on the Airb&b site ? 1.3462 0.12332 26 19 5 2
2019 Yup. It's baby proofed alright. 1.3462 0.14615 26 21 1 4
2020 What do you say we order a pizza, and a 6-pack? 1.3462 0.12332 26 19 5 2
2021 You're really putting the "die" in dieting. 1.3462 0.12332 26 19 5 2
2022 We warned the kids, no returning to the nest. 1.3462 0.11014 26 18 7 1
2023 This doesn't look right. Can we double check the recipe? 1.3462 0.13522 26 20 3 3
2024 Babyproofing is going well, I think. 1.3462 0.13522 26 20 3 3
2025 How about we just call for a pizza? 1.3462 0.12332 26 19 5 2
2026 Ambitious. But I doubt it will work. 1.3462 0.11014 26 18 7 1
2027 Should we also secure the toilet paper? 1.3462 0.13522 26 20 3 3
2028 Alright, Houdini fridge - wow us! 1.3462 0.11014 26 18 7 1
2029 My mom takes dieting very seriously. 1.3462 0.11014 26 18 7 1
2030 you know maybe its just not enough. 1.3462 0.11014 26 18 7 1
2031 I think Mom decided we were going out for dinner 1.3462 0.12332 26 19 5 2
2032 So, this was Houdini's kitchen. 1.3462 0.11014 26 18 7 1
2033 It's called 'The Live Thin or Die-t' 1.3462 0.11014 26 18 7 1
2034 I don’t think I need this much iron... 1.3462 0.13522 26 20 3 3
2035 Nobody expected the Spanish Inquisition! 1.3462 0.13522 26 20 3 3
2036 Yeah, there really are no cheat days on this new diet 1.3462 0.13522 26 20 3 3
2037 Actually I'm not that hungry any more. 1.3462 0.11014 26 18 7 1
2038 It’s called the Tower of London diet. So far, I lost 11 pounds and 6 pints of blood. 1.3462 0.11014 26 18 7 1
2039 I wouldn't say over the top. Maybe over kill? 1.3462 0.09515 26 17 9 0
2040 I bet there is cake in there! 1.3462 0.11014 26 18 7 1
2041 I guess "Mi Casa es Su Casa" overlooked the kitchen. 1.3462 0.11014 26 18 7 1
2042 Definitely a fixer-upper. 1.3462 0.13522 26 20 3 3
2043 That's one hell of a diet plan. 1.3462 0.12332 26 19 5 2
2044 I was under the impression we were just cutting out sugar. 1.3462 0.09515 26 17 9 0
2045 It’s the new inquisition diet,Sarah says its worked wonders for her! 1.3462 0.09515 26 17 9 0
2046 Voting in Kentucky gets harder every day. 1.3462 0.13522 26 20 3 3
2047 Open Houses used to be a lot more fun. 1.3462 0.12332 26 19 5 2
2048 This isn’t quite what I had in mind when I said “snack attack.” 1.3448 0.11399 29 21 6 2
2049 Honey, I don't see the point of having a beach body if we can't go to the beach... 1.3448 0.12433 29 22 4 3
2050 Ok... I think we’re just about ready for your mother’s visit!!! . 1.3448 0.12433 29 22 4 3
2051 So you think you left the keys in the fridge? 1.3448 0.12433 29 22 4 3
2052 Wait, I’m looking at these instructions again and I think we were supposed to install the IKEA security system OUTSIDE of the house. That makes more sense now that I’m looking at it. 1.3448 0.11399 29 21 6 2
2053 Feels like getting an exterminator would have been easier. 1.3448 0.11399 29 21 6 2
2054 It looks like we will be forced to go out and help boost the economy. 1.3448 0.10262 29 20 8 1
2055 Now what I want to know is where the bear put the key. 1.3448 0.13387 29 23 2 4
2056 It's a little unconventional, but Karen swears this diet has a 95% success rate. 1.3448 0.11399 29 21 6 2
2057 We need to find a more elegant solution to stem our late night snack addiction. 1.3448 0.10262 29 20 8 1
2058 Do you think a moat would be too much? 1.3448 0.12433 29 22 4 3
2059 Seems like its on us, as the New Yorker can't afford a funny caption writer anymore ... 1.3448 0.11399 29 21 6 2
2060 I really don’t trust myself anymore... 1.3448 0.10262 29 20 8 1
2061 2020... seems safe 1.3448 0.10262 29 20 8 1
2062 If this doesn’t help us stop snacking I don’t know what will. 1.3448 0.11399 29 21 6 2
2063 I think we misjudged the size of the virus. 1.3448 0.12433 29 22 4 3
2064 I think the spikes and bear traps should switch to set to emphasize the chaotic despair of the chains. 1.3448 0.10262 29 20 8 1
2065 Well, honey, if this doesn't keep up from overeating during the lock down, nothing will! 1.3448 0.10262 29 20 8 1
2066 Hmmm. All he has to do is walk around the spikes, tiptoe around the bear traps and then unlock the refrigerator. Voila! The Haagen Dazs is his! 1.3448 0.10262 29 20 8 1
2067 And do you think we should wear leather? 1.3448 0.11399 29 21 6 2
2068 Well, maybe that'll slow me down. 1.3448 0.11399 29 21 6 2
2069 Weight Watchers has improved their incentives. 1.3448 0.12433 29 22 4 3
2070 I call the diet 'Paleo meets Inquisition.' 1.3448 0.11399 29 21 6 2
2071 You say you found this diet in Hunter's Weekly? 1.3448 0.10262 29 20 8 1
2072 Wouldn’t it be simpler not to buy the ice cream. 1.3448 0.11399 29 21 6 2
2073 Suddenly I’m not that hungry... 1.3448 0.10262 29 20 8 1
2074 Well, Houdini, we could just order take out. 1.3448 0.11399 29 21 6 2
2075 I’m so glad we went with non-toxic pest control. 1.3448 0.11399 29 21 6 2
2076 Looks like the sink is the easiest target 1.3448 0.12433 29 22 4 3
2077 Maybe we could start with portion control? 1.3448 0.12433 29 22 4 3
2078 I’m sticking to this diet, even if it kills me. 1.3448 0.10262 29 20 8 1
2079 You don't think he'll think it's just some kind of interactive game, do you? 1.3448 0.11399 29 21 6 2
2080 O.K., let's order in." 1.3448 0.13387 29 23 2 4
2081 My husband wants to be the next Criss Angel but he's been in there quite a while. 1.3448 0.10262 29 20 8 1
2082 Marie Osmond lost 50 lbs. 1.3448 0.12433 29 22 4 3
2083 Goldilocks warned they might retaliate. 1.3448 0.10262 29 20 8 1
2084 I guess you were right about the new roommate... 1.3448 0.11399 29 21 6 2
2085 If you don't like this, you sure as hell won't like what I did with the bedroom. 1.3448 0.13387 29 23 2 4
2086 My doctor said: Don’t forget you have a fasting blood test tomorrow. 1.3448 0.11399 29 21 6 2
2087 I thought the Hostile Hostel review was a joke on the Airbnb review. 1.3448 0.11399 29 21 6 2
2088 And here's the kitchen. Sorry, the owner has trust issues... 1.3448 0.11399 29 21 6 2
2089 Let's not stay for dinner 1.3448 0.11399 29 21 6 2
2090 Quarantine olympics 1.3448 0.11399 29 21 6 2
2091 The first week of this new diet is the hardest." 1.3448 0.10262 29 20 8 1
2092 What do you think is in there Honey? 1.3448 0.10262 29 20 8 1
2093 This new diet is great - just a second ago I was feeling hungry. 1.3448 0.11399 29 21 6 2
2094 I swallowed the keys, but only because I’m starving. 1.3448 0.11399 29 21 6 2
2095 Overreact much? 1.3438 0.11544 32 24 5 3
2096 Maybe we should go with the brass chains instead of the galvanized steel. 1.3438 0.11544 32 24 5 3
2097 I remember when AirBnBs were more welcoming. 1.3438 0.10634 32 23 7 2
2098 Well, it's a good start. 1.3438 0.08531 32 21 11 0
2099 what phase of quarantine do you think it will open? 1.3333 0.13074 27 21 3 3
2100 Do you think this is enough to keep us from eating for the next 4 hours?... 1.3333 0.11935 27 20 5 2
2101 When we signed up for the Amazing Race 2020 - I wasn’t thinking the stay at home ‘lockdown’ edition 1.3333 0.14329 24 19 2 3
2102 I said I wanted to move to Hell's Kitchen... 1.3333 0.11526 24 17 6 1
2103 When you said the snacking got bad while working from home, I didn’t think you meant THIS bad. 1.3333 0.09829 24 16 8 0
2104 We’re not ready to reopen. 1.3333 0.12599 21 15 5 1
2105 Before we begin, do you think all of these traps, locks, and chains have been properly disinfected? 1.3333 0.11935 27 20 5 2
2106 It’s like they knew we were coming. 1.3333 0.11526 24 17 6 1
2107 I’m afraid I ate the key. 1.3333 0.11073 30 22 6 2
2108 I guess one cupcake wouldn’t hurt 1.3333 0.12599 21 15 5 1
2109 Babe, I don’t get it—we postmates every meal 1.3333 0.14003 18 13 4 1
2110 I read about this new diet in the New Yorker. 1.3333 0.11526 24 17 6 1
2111 With the gym closed for the past 105 days, it's about time we started taking this quarentine diet seriously 1.3333 0.12599 21 15 5 1
2112 But, it didn't work last time. 1.3333 0.15936 21 17 1 3
2113 I still think we need to add the bees. 1.3333 0.13003 24 18 4 2
2114 I know, “Diet and exercise.” But this is so high maintenance. 1.3333 0.12599 21 15 5 1
2115 I think this will keep it safe for now 1.3333 0.14365 21 16 3 2
2116 Wanna grab a pizza? 1.3333 0.13003 24 18 4 2
2117 Maybe next year we should just not get any Girl Scout cookies. 1.3333 0.13003 24 18 4 2
2118 So that's your plan to help you stay in shape? 1.3333 0.12599 21 15 5 1
2119 We’re definitely not superhosts 1.3333 0.09981 30 21 8 1
2120 I've lost three pounds already! 1.3333 0.14365 21 16 3 2
2121 I know I know I said it would work..I just didn’t expect it to really work. 1.3333 0.10675 27 19 7 1
2122 I'm thinking they didn't do a lot of cooking. 1.3333 0.11526 24 17 6 1
2123 You’re right, the bear traps don’t match the wallpaper 1.3333 0.13003 24 18 4 2
2124 What's the expiration date on that milk? 1.3333 0.12599 21 15 5 1
2125 You saw this on Instagram? 1.3333 0.12599 21 15 5 1
2126 oh yeah, i didn't think about that. 1.3333 0.13003 24 18 4 2
2127 I’m seriously rethinking what I would do for a Klondike bar. 1.3333 0.14003 18 13 4 1
2128 I’m thinking the grapefruit might have been more viable. 1.3333 0.11526 24 17 6 1
2129 And yet you insist Whodini somehow still stole your last yogurt... 1.3333 0.10541 21 14 7 0
2130 Lock down extension 1.3333 0.14365 21 16 3 2
2131 Do we need a safe word? 1.3333 0.10675 27 19 7 1
2132 No I'm telling you the mortgage agent was very clear: pay the deposit AND secure the house" 1.3333 0.13003 24 18 4 2
2133 It’s called The Stephen King Diet. 1.3333 0.14365 21 16 3 2
2134 So I guess we should open the fridge and see what’s there to eat? 1.3333 0.09981 30 21 8 1
2135 The Houdini Diet 1.3333 0.12599 21 15 5 1
2136 Not sure if the third bear trap is really necessary. 1.3333 0.12599 21 15 5 1
2137 No pain, no gain, honey. 1.3333 0.14365 21 16 3 2
2138 The only problem is this doesn’t stop GrubHub from delivering 1.3333 0.13003 24 18 4 2
2139 Hmmm, one more bear trap oughtta do it, what do you think? 1.3333 0.11526 24 17 6 1
2140 I still think YOU should make a run for it 1.3333 0.12599 21 15 5 1
2141 Wow. Our new accountability coach means business. 1.3333 0.09981 30 21 8 1
2142 My Quarantine Project 1.3333 0.12599 21 15 5 1
2143 Somehow it doesn’t seem enough 1.3333 0.11526 24 17 6 1
2144 You know, come to think of it I’m not bored of takeout after all. 1.3333 0.18803 12 9 2 1
2145 And where would we store these when we get hungry again in a couple of hours? 1.3333 0.12599 21 15 5 1
2146 What is the name of the artist again? 1.3333 0.12599 21 15 5 1
2147 Are you sure you know your way around a kitchen? 1.3333 0.14365 21 16 3 2
2148 I thought you said you had the key. 1.3333 0.14365 21 16 3 2
2149 Too much? Or just enough for my Mother to get the message? 1.3333 0.12599 21 15 5 1
2150 This just makes me want fast food. 1.3333 0.10541 21 14 7 0
2151 I quite liked the one with the open plan kitchen. 1.3333 0.14365 21 16 3 2
2152 Honey, aren't you taking this new diet a little bit too far? 1.3333 0.13003 24 18 4 2
2153 Are you sure you remember there's guacamole? 1.3333 0.13074 27 21 3 3
2154 How hungry do you have to be to get some food around here? 1.3333 0.09829 24 16 8 0
2155 Looks like we're doing takeout tonight. 1.3333 0.12599 21 15 5 1
2156 I'm not convinced dungeo is better than paleo. 1.3333 0.15936 21 17 1 3
2157 Let’s see them come up with a caption for this. 1.3333 0.11526 24 17 6 1
2158 Remember when sleepovers used to be so simple? 1.3333 0.11526 24 17 6 1
2159 It's the latest diet app. 1.3333 0.13003 24 18 4 2
2160 Yes,but does that one bring you joy? 1.3333 0.11526 24 17 6 1
2161 Honey, you left the key on the shelf in the fridge 1.3333 0.12599 21 15 5 1
2162 I told her it was her Zoom classroom. 1.3333 0.11526 24 17 6 1
2163 The potato salad went bad, but it can't hurt us now. 1.3333 0.14365 21 16 3 2
2164 It's missing something 1.3333 0.10541 21 14 7 0
2165 We still want it to say "Have a nice day." 1.3333 0.11526 24 17 6 1
2166 So I guess it is order takeout again. 1.3333 0.14365 21 16 3 2
2167 In fairness to Tristan, it is very good yogurt. 1.3333 0.10541 21 14 7 0
2168 Life's challenges dear. Your turn to tiptoe. 1.3333 0.13003 24 18 4 2
2169 You know, there’s also ‘willpower’. 1.3333 0.11526 24 17 6 1
2170 I should have reached out for help months ago, when he said he thought the sourdough was trapping him in the kitchen. 1.3333 0.14122 27 22 1 4
2171 All diets are traps. 1.3333 0.15936 21 17 1 3
2172 On the other hand, it is safer than going out. 1.3333 0.14365 21 16 3 2
2173 Honey, I know you feel guilty for cheating on your diet but... 1.3333 0.12599 21 15 5 1
2174 It's probably just a coincidence but the landlord's name is Houdini. 1.3333 0.14365 21 16 3 2
2175 The Hunger Games - Extreme Edition” 1.3333 0.12599 21 15 5 1
2176 How they gained so much weight while they self quarantined will always be mystery! 1.3333 0.13003 24 18 4 2
2177 So who was it that recommended this new diet plan? 1.3333 0.12599 21 15 5 1
2178 Mr. And Mrs. Houdini begin to wonder if they’ve gone too far to keep their young son on his diet. 1.3333 0.14365 21 16 3 2
2179 Is it a good idea to have just one key for all the locks? 1.3333 0.12599 21 15 5 1
2180 She was so cute as a cub. 1.3333 0.14365 21 16 3 2
2181 I just remembered that buttermilk is all that's in it 1.3333 0.11526 24 17 6 1
2182 I think we should re-think your diet. 1.3333 0.13003 24 18 4 2
2183 I guess it's too late to let you know I'm hungry... 1.3333 0.13074 27 21 3 3
2184 What’s next, Keto? 1.3333 0.11526 24 17 6 1
2185 I'm really committed to my diet this time. 1.3333 0.11526 24 17 6 1
2186 Do you think this is enough to get us off gluten? 1.3333 0.11526 24 17 6 1
2187 Honey, couldn't we just save this for the bedroom? 1.3333 0.12599 21 15 5 1
2188 Are you sure we left the car keys in there? 1.3333 0.11526 24 17 6 1
2189 Wait until you see what he did to the toilet. 1.3333 0.13003 24 18 4 2
2190 I guess dad wants to eat out again. 1.3333 0.14365 21 16 3 2
2191 I thought the password was 1234 1.3333 0.12599 21 15 5 1
2192 Maybe we should just order take-out. 1.3333 0.15936 15 11 3 1
2193 Think that will be enough to save us from washing the dishes? 1.3333 0.09245 27 18 9 0
2194 I think it’s a tad vindictive but it’ll stop the baby sitter grabbing all the ice cream while we’re out 1.3333 0.12599 21 15 5 1
2195 Cindy wasn't kidding about her yogurts. 1.3333 0.11526 24 17 6 1
2196 I think a home gym would be more practical. 1.3333 0.09829 24 16 8 0
2197 I'm beginning to think we should give Weight Watchers another try. 1.3333 0.10675 27 19 7 1
2198 Now how do we stop the delivery guy? 1.3333 0.10541 21 14 7 0
2199 You honestly think your mother is trying to lose weight before the wedding? 1.3333 0.13074 27 21 3 3
2200 Can’t wait to see the kids’ faces. 1.3333 0.14329 24 19 2 3
2201 You're right, stainless steel really does make a difference. 1.3333 0.10541 21 14 7 0
2202 Do you really want milk with your coffee? 1.3333 0.11526 24 17 6 1
2203 Max and John said they lost 10 pounds on this diet. 1.3333 0.14365 21 16 3 2
2204 We should return this to Amazon.It looked better in the picture. 1.3333 0.13003 24 18 4 2
2205 I’m thinking about something along the line of a conjugal visit. 1.3333 0.11935 27 20 5 2
2206 Everything got four and a half stars on Amazon. 1.3333 0.11526 24 17 6 1
2207 Or I could just stop taking Ambien. 1.3333 0.11935 27 20 5 2
2208 I think willpower is vastly overrated. 1.3333 0.12599 21 15 5 1
2209 I like it, I'm just not sure about the bear traps. 1.3333 0.14329 24 19 2 3
2210 I'm just saying this babysitter may be different. 1.3333 0.13003 24 18 4 2
2211 I guess buying a smart fridge wasn't such a good idea after all. 1.3333 0.13074 27 21 3 3
2212 What do you think Mom’s trying to tell us? 1.3333 0.12599 21 15 5 1
2213 The kids are really upping their magic tricks. 1.3333 0.09829 24 16 8 0
2214 Maybe our paleo diet is too extreme. 1.3333 0.13003 24 18 4 2
2215 I told you to read the instructions! 1.3333 0.14329 24 19 2 3
2216 I think we should just try weight watchers. 1.3333 0.14365 21 16 3 2
2217 She IS serious this time! 1.3333 0.09829 24 16 8 0
2218 Maybe this is a sign that we should stop midnight snacking. 1.3333 0.12599 21 15 5 1
2219 I did say I’d try anything to drop the “quarantine 15”....so thank you? 1.3333 0.10675 27 19 7 1
2220 So, Franz, can you tell me again about this cockroach you saw? 1.3333 0.11526 24 17 6 1
2221 If you lose a leg, you drop 15 pounds like that! 1.3333 0.14365 21 16 3 2
2222 I know it seems extreme, but I think it's the only way we can avoid gaining the Covid 19. 1.3333 0.11526 24 17 6 1
2223 No one guards a secret family recipe quite like Nanna. 1.3333 0.14329 24 19 2 3
2224 No, I can just whip up something quick. I promise it’s no trouble at all. 1.3333 0.11526 24 17 6 1
2225 Actually, I’m not hungry. 1.3333 0.10675 27 19 7 1
2226 I thought this would help but I find myself still looking at the fridge for the meaning of life... 1.3333 0.13074 27 21 3 3
2227 They say you're guaranteed to lose 5 pounds in two weeks. 1.3333 0.13074 27 21 3 3
2228 I get the impression somebody doesn't want us to go in there. 1.3333 0.13003 24 18 4 2
2229 I never imagined adopting a bear would come to this 1.3333 0.14365 21 16 3 2
2230 If you wanted take-out, all you had to do was ask. 1.3333 0.14365 21 16 3 2
2231 So now we'll just douse our boredom in funny cat videos. 1.3333 0.11526 24 17 6 1
2232 Is your Mom trying to tell us something about moving in with her? 1.3333 0.10541 21 14 7 0
2233 Sooner or later, we’re going to find out which bear has been stealing the honey 1.3333 0.09981 30 21 8 1
2234 It’s supposedly more effective than intermittent fasting. 1.3333 0.14365 21 16 3 2
2235 This diet's going to be the death of me. 1.3333 0.10675 27 19 7 1
2236 I call it Weight Watchers meets Fifty Shades of Grey 1.3333 0.10541 21 14 7 0
2237 Karen, I know you're worried about looters taking your food... 1.3333 0.11526 24 17 6 1
2238 That ought to help our diet! 1.3333 0.14365 21 16 3 2
2239 If we could do this to takeout, our problem would be solved. 1.3333 0.14365 21 16 3 2
2240 So, how IS your diet coming along? 1.3333 0.11526 24 17 6 1
2241 This might work better than Weight Watchers... 1.3333 0.12599 21 15 5 1
2242 This diet might work 1.3333 0.14365 21 16 3 2
2243 I asked for an aggressive foolproof diet. Done! 1.3333 0.12599 21 15 5 1
2244 Don’t you think you are taking this paleo thing too far? 1.3333 0.10541 21 14 7 0
2245 Just exactly how big was that mouse you saw? 1.3333 0.11526 24 17 6 1
2246 I’m thinking maybe add a moat. 1.3333 0.09981 30 21 8 1
2247 You should see what I did to the liquor cabinet. 1.3333 0.10675 27 19 7 1
2248 We don't have friends over that often. 1.3333 0.12599 21 15 5 1
2249 And this diet is guaranteed to work you say? 1.3333 0.11073 30 22 6 2
2250 Is my sleep-eating that bad? 1.3333 0.13003 24 18 4 2
2251 i get that you are on a strict diet but... 1.3333 0.12599 21 15 5 1
2252 I guess our Air B&B hosts weren’t kidding; no kitchen use. 1.3333 0.14365 21 16 3 2
2253 I miss the days when packaging on new products wasn't so hard to open. 1.3333 0.13074 27 21 3 3
2254 Only the best for your mother. 1.3333 0.13074 27 21 3 3
2255 Are you sure the BDSM Diet calls for all of this? 1.3333 0.12599 21 15 5 1
2256 Did you consider putting a friendly roommate note on your lunch bag? 1.3333 0.12599 21 15 5 1
2257 How badly do we need that tiramisu gelato?" 1.3333 0.11526 24 17 6 1
2258 Thanks to Acme, I think we’re ready if it gets out of there! 1.3333 0.10541 21 14 7 0
2259 I’ve labeled my yogurt for the last time 1.3333 0.14365 21 16 3 2
2260 I can't believe dad told mom she was gaining weight. 1.3333 0.09829 24 16 8 0
2261 Apparently Mom was serious when she said we were eating too much food considering that we aren’t willing to go to the store or pay for anything. 1.3333 0.11073 30 22 6 2
2262 I was always taking her milk for my coffee, so I am not that surprised. 1.3333 0.12599 21 15 5 1
2263 This time I WILL lose those last 5 lbs. 1.3333 0.09829 24 16 8 0
2264 See! I told you the kids wanted to help you with your diet. 1.3333 0.14365 21 16 3 2
2265 I see we are going on another diet. 1.3333 0.14365 21 16 3 2
2266 I keep snacking in the middle of the night. 1.3333 0.12599 21 15 5 1
2267 I think your mother has redefined Orthodox. 1.3333 0.12599 21 15 5 1
2268 They must have noticed the postdated check. 1.3333 0.13003 24 18 4 2
2269 Where should we place the moat? 1.3333 0.11526 24 17 6 1
2270 Maybe we should also put in a moat. 1.3333 0.12066 30 23 4 3
2271 I think he’s taken this “Great Foodini” thing a little too far. 1.3333 0.12599 21 15 5 1
2272 Oh ,how to protect the weak public from temptations and rashness of actions ? Complete lockdown 1.3333 0.12599 21 15 5 1
2273 He's a teenager - is this enough? 1.3333 0.13074 27 21 3 3
2274 We call it the Houdini diet plan. 1.3333 0.12599 21 15 5 1
2275 The post-it with “I lick my cheese” didn’t work. 1.3333 0.14329 24 19 2 3
2276 When I said I needed your help, I was thinking smaller portions. 1.3333 0.16169 18 14 2 2
2277 Wouldn't a locking Medieval battle helmet be simpler? Same online store. 1.3333 0.14365 21 16 3 2
2278 I think I left the keys in there. 1.3333 0.13003 24 18 4 2
2279 I guess your mom heard the restaurants opened back up. 1.3333 0.12599 21 15 5 1
2280 Looks like takeout tonight. 1.3333 0.14365 21 16 3 2
2281 How does takeout sound tonight? 1.3333 0.12599 21 15 5 1
2282 Don't ask me how, but last night, while sleepwalking, I had a bowl of ice cream. 1.3333 0.14329 24 19 2 3
2283 Whadd'ya think? Another Republican trick? 1.3333 0.14365 21 16 3 2
2284 You did remember to take the blueberries out, right? 1.3333 0.10541 21 14 7 0
2285 The refrigerator can’t run now 1.3333 0.11935 27 20 5 2
2286 I think we can let the baby sitter in now. 1.3333 0.11935 27 20 5 2
2287 This is the one life-changing diet hack in quarantine I regret. 1.3333 0.10675 27 19 7 1
2288 It's easier than the cabbage soup diet, I promise. 1.3333 0.13003 24 18 4 2
2289 The kitchen could be better, but they do have in-unit laundry... 1.3226 0.11720 31 24 4 3
2290 Her late husband's disappearance was a mystery. 1.3226 0.09713 31 22 8 1
2291 Hell’s Kitchen: At Home 1.3214 0.11563 28 21 5 2
2292 It’s not enough. 1.3214 0.11563 28 21 5 2
2293 Weird - I only ever use the ice function 1.3214 0.10356 28 20 7 1
2294 What exactly did you say to the exterminator? 1.3214 0.11563 28 21 5 2
2295 I guess you really don't like my cooking." 1.3214 0.10356 28 20 7 1
2296 We should have tried just talking to him. 1.3214 0.11563 28 21 5 2
2297 Thanks for reminding me that I 'm on a diet. 1.3214 0.11563 28 21 5 2
2298 Do you think the poison gas in the fridge is overkill? 1.3214 0.11563 28 21 5 2
2299 We're safe now. You can let the alligators go back to the swamp. 1.3214 0.10356 28 20 7 1
2300 I see your mother's on a diet again. 1.3214 0.10356 28 20 7 1
2301 My weight loss success has been pretty steady, but I'm not seeing the dating options increasing like I thought I would.... 1.3214 0.11563 28 21 5 2
2302 Is this babyproofed enough? 1.3200 0.12543 25 19 4 2
2303 Do you think that this will help keep the roommates away from our food? 1.3200 0.11136 25 18 6 1
2304 You know one little snack wouldn't hurt the diet 1.3200 0.12543 25 19 4 2
2305 Oh.. I wondered why this kitchen made you feel trapped 1.3200 0.12543 25 19 4 2
2306 I don’t think we should have let Houdini and his BDSM buddies redesign our kitchen. 1.3200 0.13808 25 20 2 3
2307 Dad really didn’t want us eating his chocolate I guess 1.3200 0.13808 25 20 2 3
2308 Ok, you can tell your cousins they can now enter the house 1.3200 0.11136 25 18 6 1
2309 These diet apps are getting out of control. 1.3200 0.11136 25 18 6 1
2310 It's a Schrödinger's Refrigerator, theoretically it's never empty" "Ok, but I am right now... 1.3200 0.12543 25 19 4 2
2311 Want to go to Costco and eat some samples? 1.3200 0.11136 25 18 6 1
2312 The locks are for decoration ! 1.3200 0.13808 25 20 2 3
2313 They say this is easier than counting calories. 1.3200 0.11136 25 18 6 1
2314 When they said IKEA was a couples death trap, I didn't think they were being literal. 1.3200 0.11136 25 18 6 1
2315 When the refrigerator is the only one taking the lockdown seriously. 1.3200 0.13808 25 20 2 3
2316 So Paul never got through the bear traps? 1.3200 0.12543 25 19 4 2
2317 Do we have milk? 1.3200 0.11136 25 18 6 1
2318 Hungry as a wolf? Be careful not to be caught. It is a trap. 1.3200 0.12543 25 19 4 2
2319 Got it babe, enough with the sourdough already! 1.3200 0.12543 25 19 4 2
2320 In hindsight, I regret telling Billy a monster ate his Halloween candy 1.3200 0.11136 25 18 6 1
2321 If only we had this much control over our marriage 1.3200 0.11136 25 18 6 1
2322 but Dr. Fauci says a cloth face mask is more effective... 1.3200 0.13808 25 20 2 3
2323 If all else fails, at least we can say we tried. 1.3200 0.12543 25 19 4 2
2324 It’s been SUPER helpful to stop mindless snacking 1.3200 0.11136 25 18 6 1
2325 Any second thoughts on just sheer willpower. 1.3200 0.09522 25 17 8 0
2326 The feng shui is all off" 1.3200 0.12543 25 19 4 2
2327 Your new roommate seems a bit territorial... 1.3200 0.13808 25 20 2 3
2328 Maybe we should have just bought a Peleton. 1.3200 0.12543 25 19 4 2
2329 It’s the only diet proven to work for everyone. 1.3200 0.09522 25 17 8 0
2330 You really put the word die in diet. 1.3200 0.13808 25 20 2 3
2331 It's a program of diet and fitness called "The Gauntlet." 1.3200 0.11136 25 18 6 1
2332 It COULD cut down on our impulse eating,but we have the keys. 1.3200 0.13808 25 20 2 3
2333 So... Indian? 1.3200 0.11136 25 18 6 1
2334 Maybe we should move back to the lower 48. 1.3200 0.11136 25 18 6 1
2335 Maybe we should eat out tonight. 1.3200 0.11136 25 18 6 1
2336 I am guessing that this is a trap 1.3200 0.11136 25 18 6 1
2337 You need to lose weight, fine! I get that Jill, but have you considered how this impacts me? 1.3200 0.11136 25 18 6 1
2338 There - that will take care of the mice AND the kids 1.3200 0.11136 25 18 6 1
2339 I don't think it will keep the mice away. 1.3200 0.11136 25 18 6 1
2340 I think you’ve taken baby-proofing to a new level. 1.3200 0.11136 25 18 6 1
2341 I guess I won’t be sleeping over. 1.3200 0.09522 25 17 8 0
2342 If it's raccoons, we'll know in the morning. If it's your sleepwalking again, we'll know by midnight. 1.3200 0.11136 25 18 6 1
2343 He did say there would be consequences for not respecting his food labels. 1.3200 0.11136 25 18 6 1
2344 Want to order a pizza? 1.3200 0.11136 25 18 6 1
2345 Ok, heads or tails? Who’s trying out the new home security system first? 1.3200 0.12543 25 19 4 2
2346 Maybe it wasn´t such a good idea to rent Mr Lecter´s house... 1.3200 0.12543 25 19 4 2
2347 When you said 'advanced security system,' this is not exactly what I had in mind. 1.3200 0.11136 25 18 6 1
2348 They said they'd unlock everything after we take the QAnon pledge. 1.3200 0.12543 25 19 4 2
2349 Or we could just join Weight Watchers. 1.3200 0.12543 25 19 4 2
2350 I think I like the red one better. 1.3200 0.12543 25 19 4 2
2351 This is the only way we’re going to lose the COVID15... 1.3200 0.12543 25 19 4 2
2352 Why don't we just assert our will power? 1.3200 0.12543 25 19 4 2
2353 This ought to stop snacking while sheltering at home. 1.3200 0.11136 25 18 6 1
2354 This should keep the kids occupied for at least an hour. 1.3200 0.11136 25 18 6 1
2355 You don’t think it’s overkill ? 1.3200 0.12543 25 19 4 2
2356 Can you get me beer, please? 1.3200 0.11136 25 18 6 1
2357 Too extreme for shelter in place? 1.3200 0.11136 25 18 6 1
2358 I’m glad we finally got the place child proofed. 1.3200 0.12543 25 19 4 2
2359 It's called The Houdini Diet. Lose up to 35 pounds in 30 days or die trying. 1.3200 0.12543 25 19 4 2
2360 So it’s gluten that’s the problem? 1.3200 0.11136 25 18 6 1
2361 Bill and Judy lost 15 pounds each before their funeral. 1.3200 0.12543 25 19 4 2
2362 Yep, she's definitely on that lock-down diet .. 1.3200 0.11136 25 18 6 1
2363 Well,we've tried everything else! 1.3200 0.11136 25 18 6 1
2364 My mom said her diet isn't working. 1.3200 0.13808 25 20 2 3
2365 Your mother did this. She's always saying I'm letting you get fat. 1.3200 0.09522 25 17 8 0
2366 A guarantee of weight loss comes with the house. 1.3200 0.12543 25 19 4 2
2367 This isn’t the food chain I had in mind. 1.3200 0.09522 25 17 8 0
2368 I know Rob’s serious about avoiding the ‘Quarantine 15’ but this is a bit extreme...” 1.3200 0.13808 25 20 2 3
2369 Its too bad we always have to do this when your brother visits. 1.3200 0.12543 25 19 4 2
2370 Yeah, but is this really a 'better mousetrap'?" 1.3200 0.11136 25 18 6 1
2371 How about if I just promise not to fix myself any more midnight snacks? 1.3200 0.11136 25 18 6 1
2372 Should we have gone with the diet plan that sends the meals? 1.3200 0.12543 25 19 4 2
2373 All because I left the ice cube tray empty. 1.3200 0.12543 25 19 4 2
2374 Don't you think that's a little overkill for one mouse? 1.3200 0.12543 25 19 4 2
2375 I, uh... hadn't thought about the groceries. 1.3200 0.11136 25 18 6 1
2376 What if we just try Keto instead? 1.3200 0.11136 25 18 6 1
2377 So now we know why the rent is so reasonable. 1.3200 0.11136 25 18 6 1
2378 I’m a fun roommate once you get past the fridge. 1.3200 0.11136 25 18 6 1
2379 I don't know. How did you get that slice of chocolate cake in the middle of the night? 1.3200 0.12543 25 19 4 2
2380 Hint. Hint. Robert I NEED to go out for a meal. 1.3200 0.11136 25 18 6 1
2381 This probably is the wrong time to tell you this... but I locked my keys in the car. 1.3200 0.09522 25 17 8 0
2382 Your Mom's really serious about her new diet!" 1.3200 0.11136 25 18 6 1
2383 I think you're right. This new Weight Watchers program is a bit more intense. 1.3200 0.12543 25 19 4 2
2384 I'm finding this new diet plan a bit too restrictive. 1.3200 0.12543 25 19 4 2
2385 Do you really think the mouse is rummaging in the fridge? 1.3200 0.11136 25 18 6 1
2386 It's the new Acme Corp. diet. If you eat a carb, an anvil falls on your head. 1.3200 0.11136 25 18 6 1
2387 Maybe we should have gone Farmhouse instead of BDSM. 1.3200 0.12543 25 19 4 2
2388 Looks like mom found out we ate all her yogurt. 1.3200 0.12543 25 19 4 2
2389 Everything tastes better when your life is on the line. 1.3200 0.12543 25 19 4 2
2390 It no longer sparks joy. 1.3200 0.12543 25 19 4 2
2391 In there is a copy of the video Putin has on Trump. 1.3200 0.11136 25 18 6 1
2392 Is it me, or does that last padlock just seem redundant? 1.3200 0.12543 25 19 4 2
2393 Weight Watcher's didn't mention this part? 1.3200 0.11136 25 18 6 1
2394 I dunno. Lifting all this heavy iron, you've probably already lost 10 pounds. 1.3200 0.11136 25 18 6 1
2395 When you said "dinner was to die for". you weren't kidding. 1.3200 0.12543 25 19 4 2
2396 I just wanted a glass of ice. 1.3200 0.11136 25 18 6 1
2397 I know I'm fat. But I'm not that fat. 1.3200 0.12543 25 19 4 2
2398 I think our food is finally contactless. 1.3200 0.13808 25 20 2 3
2399 hmm, maybe we should stop smoking pot every day 1.3200 0.13808 25 20 2 3
2400 Buck seems to think it's more effective than just putting his name on the container. 1.3200 0.13808 25 20 2 3
2401 I love having dinner with Penn and Teller. 1.3200 0.12543 25 19 4 2
2402 I’m sensing some food insecurity. 1.3200 0.11136 25 18 6 1
2403 You want some oat milk? 1.3182 0.12108 22 16 5 1
2404 We could just tell him to move out. 1.3182 0.13780 22 17 3 2
2405 I’ve also got a plan if things get Really intense. 1.3182 0.12108 22 16 5 1
2406 I read it was the best way to start diet on Mondays 1.3182 0.12108 22 16 5 1
2407 I'd really just like to get back to eating in moderation. 1.3182 0.12108 22 16 5 1
2408 On second thought, let’s order in. 1.3182 0.10164 22 15 7 0
2409 Buck up, buddy. Summer bod is right around the corner. 1.3182 0.12108 22 16 5 1
2410 Do you think the liquor cabinet will give us more trouble? 1.3182 0.10164 22 15 7 0
2411 It’s exactly like Weight Watchers, except for hipsters. 1.3182 0.10164 22 15 7 0
2412 The road to hell is paved with good intentions... 1.3182 0.12108 22 16 5 1
2413 You told me to help with your diet. 1.3182 0.13780 22 17 3 2
2414 So..... how long did you say you were dieting? 1.3182 0.12108 22 16 5 1
2415 I don't know, honey. This kitchen is a bit of a death trap. 1.3182 0.12108 22 16 5 1
2416 ...but I still can’t seem to lose weight 1.3182 0.12108 22 16 5 1
2417 Looks like the dishwasher finally had enough 1.3182 0.13780 22 17 3 2
2418 So what’s the catch?... 1.3182 0.13780 22 17 3 2
2419 I regret not hanging some fly tape. 1.3182 0.12108 22 16 5 1
2420 This way, we’ll be forced to weigh the options: Junk food, or fresh vegetables from our garden. 1.3182 0.12108 22 16 5 1
2421 Fine, I’ll order the pizza, but the diet DEFINITELY starts tomorrow. 1.3182 0.13780 22 17 3 2
2422 Monday we start diet 1.3182 0.13780 22 17 3 2
2423 The kitchen is in great condition but there has been a bit of a bear problem in the neighborhood. 1.3182 0.12108 22 16 5 1
2424 Don't worry, it's a free trial. 1.3182 0.12108 22 16 5 1
2425 It keeps everything really fresh 1.3182 0.10164 22 15 7 0
2426 It’s not exactly what I had in mind when I said ‘whatever you do don’t let me eat anything else today’ 1.3182 0.10164 22 15 7 0
2427 Cake or death? 1.3182 0.13780 22 17 3 2
2428 I’m a little worried for the dog, though. 1.3182 0.13780 22 17 3 2
2429 Yeah, but this won’t stop them from asking for snacks. 1.3182 0.12108 22 16 5 1
2430 You could’ve just labeled which yogurts are yours. 1.3182 0.12108 22 16 5 1
2431 Our precious toilet paper is safe now. 1.3182 0.13780 22 17 3 2
2432 Everything is ready for no-eat July 1.3182 0.12108 22 16 5 1
2433 ...so Chinese or pizza? 1.3182 0.12108 22 16 5 1
2434 I mean... The rent is cheaper... 1.3182 0.12108 22 16 5 1
2435 ...so this is the "Indiana Jones Houdini" diet you told me about 1.3182 0.12108 22 16 5 1
2436 I know you miss escape rooms, but I think we need to find a different outlet for you. 1.3182 0.12108 22 16 5 1
2437 I think it'll be worth it 1.3182 0.12108 22 16 5 1
2438 I guess they took the "Breakfast" out of the "Bed and Breakfast" 1.3182 0.13780 22 17 3 2
2439 ...I get it, but is it sustainable? 1.3182 0.12108 22 16 5 1
2440 Hopefully this will prevent your mother from gorging on all of our cookie dough and spray cheese like she did on her last visit. Boy is she disgusting and I wish I never married you 1.3182 0.13780 22 17 3 2
2441 Hmm.... do you think your mom is trying to tell us something? 1.3182 0.12108 22 16 5 1
2442 Intermittent fasting didn’t workout, so we’re trying something new. 1.3182 0.12108 22 16 5 1
2443 Wow, you must’ve really pissed off your roommate 1.3182 0.12108 22 16 5 1
2444 It’s the Medieval Diet 1.3182 0.10164 22 15 7 0
2445 I'm not hungry I'm just bored 1.3182 0.15270 22 18 1 3
2446 It’s either this or we pack on another COVID-19 1.3182 0.15270 22 18 1 3
2447 I recognize I have some control issues. 1.3182 0.10164 22 15 7 0
2448 Where did you say you put the car key again? 1.3182 0.12108 22 16 5 1
2449 Any minute now... 1.3182 0.13780 22 17 3 2
2450 Tell me, how flexible are you? 1.3182 0.13780 22 17 3 2
2451 Unredacted Mueller report is inside. 1.3182 0.13780 22 17 3 2
2452 2020 Capitalism in the house 1.3182 0.13780 22 17 3 2
2453 Then I guess we didn't need to bulk buy toilet paper, right? 1.3182 0.12108 22 16 5 1
2454 It’s not a diet. It’s a lifestyle. 1.3182 0.12108 22 16 5 1
2455 Let's just order in. 1.3182 0.12108 22 16 5 1
2456 If you think this is bad, let me show you the bathroom. 1.3182 0.13780 22 17 3 2
2457 It’s called the Houdini diet. With the emphasis on ‘die’ , it seems. 1.3182 0.12108 22 16 5 1
2458 Honey...I know you are serious about enforcing your diet, but this may literally be overkill? 1.3182 0.13780 22 17 3 2
2459 I have misgivings about the Houdini diet. 1.3182 0.12108 22 16 5 1
2460 Maybe you should just eat your leftovers 1.3182 0.12108 22 16 5 1
2461 It all started when the egg salad went bad and turned evil. 1.3182 0.13780 22 17 3 2
2462 Looks like an iron-clad solution for binge eating. 1.3182 0.13780 22 17 3 2
2463 They could still tunnel. 1.3182 0.12108 22 16 5 1
2464 You said not to let you eat any more of that cake 1.3182 0.13780 22 17 3 2
2465 I think that's what they mean by "Lockdown"... 1.3182 0.12108 22 16 5 1
2466 I don't know. I still think we should set the alarm. 1.3182 0.10164 22 15 7 0
2467 Now the kids are really clear about snack boundaries 1.3182 0.10164 22 15 7 0
2468 I don't know honey, I'm just not getting the point. 1.3182 0.13780 22 17 3 2
2469 I know it looks extreme but it's a whole lot cheaper than all those weight loss programs. 1.3182 0.13780 22 17 3 2
2470 This diet better work 1.3182 0.13780 22 17 3 2
2471 You think the spikes were a little to much 1.3182 0.13780 22 17 3 2
2472 You're assuming our son is smarter than the average bear. 1.3182 0.13780 22 17 3 2
2473 On a positive note: I've lost 5 pounds. 1.3182 0.12108 22 16 5 1
2474 I guess they're pretty serious about "no midnight snacking." 1.3182 0.12108 22 16 5 1
2475 Mom says we can order pizza if there’s no food in the house when she gets home 1.3182 0.13780 22 17 3 2
2476 I think we can trust the babysitter, but if this will make you feel better... 1.3182 0.12108 22 16 5 1
2477 This is the "support" you were referring to? 1.3182 0.13780 22 17 3 2
2478 They call it the Goldilocks diet. 1.3182 0.10164 22 15 7 0
2479 What if we clamber over the counters and rappel down the fridge with a bolt cutter in our teeth? 1.3182 0.13780 22 17 3 2
2480 Or we could just go vegan. 1.3182 0.10164 22 15 7 0
2481 Is this what's known as 'extreme dieting'? 1.3182 0.12108 22 16 5 1
2482 No, I don’t think it’s overkill. 1.3182 0.12108 22 16 5 1
2483 "You don't really think that will keep the boys from eating everything when we're asleep, do you? 1.3182 0.12108 22 16 5 1
2484 It's where she keeps her toilet paper. 1.3182 0.13780 22 17 3 2
2485 Wouldn't it be simpler to just throw away the ice cream? 1.3182 0.12108 22 16 5 1
2486 That should be enough to keep the kids from making anymore whipped coffee. 1.3182 0.12108 22 16 5 1
2487 They say it's the new Keto. 1.3182 0.15270 22 18 1 3
2488 The bear traps can take a whole leg off. You and I are losing 30 pounds this quarantine one way or another. 1.3182 0.13780 22 17 3 2
2489 The lengths some people will go to just to lose five pounds... 1.3182 0.13780 22 17 3 2
2490 You know, I bet he's already escaped somehow" 1.3182 0.13780 22 17 3 2
2491 This diet is a killer.... 1.3182 0.12108 22 16 5 1
2492 Gwynn, I'm beginning to think your folks don't like me dropping by. 1.3182 0.13780 22 17 3 2
2493 I forgot your insulin is in there. 1.3182 0.12108 22 16 5 1
2494 I don't know! Maybe they can still get out. 1.3182 0.13780 22 17 3 2
2495 Let's order in tonight and start our diet tomorrow. 1.3182 0.13780 22 17 3 2
2496 The portion control guy stopped by today. 1.3182 0.10164 22 15 7 0
2497 That should keep us out until dinner. 1.3182 0.12108 22 16 5 1
2498 And for only $1,599, you can purchase the "Medieval Kitchen" model, complete with our award winning "Well I Don't REALLY Need A Snack Right Now" fridge and pantry security system. 1.3182 0.12108 22 16 5 1
2499 You didn't need to go to all this trouble. Instead, if we don't weigh ourselves, we don't gain weight. 1.3182 0.13780 22 17 3 2
2500 Your mom said to make ourselves at home, but this is discouraging. 1.3182 0.13780 22 17 3 2
2501 So tell me again how they got in last time. 1.3182 0.13780 22 17 3 2
2502 You get on my shoulders. I’ll bend toward the “fridge”— it’ll be a piece of cake! 1.3182 0.10164 22 15 7 0
2503 One problem, honey. I think I locked the keys in that cabinet. 1.3182 0.12108 22 16 5 1
2504 Looks like tonight’s first course will be obstacles! 1.3182 0.12108 22 16 5 1
2505 I told you that "best before" is not just a suggestion 1.3182 0.12108 22 16 5 1
2506 I think mom is serious about dieting this time. 1.3182 0.12108 22 16 5 1
2507 Is the refrigerator running? 1.3182 0.15270 22 18 1 3
2508 Do you suppose that slice you dropped in the subway is still there? 1.3182 0.12108 22 16 5 1
2509 Babe... are you sure you don’t wanna go with weight watchers? 1.3182 0.13780 22 17 3 2
2510 I don't think the "best before" dates are gonna much matter 1.3182 0.13780 22 17 3 2
2511 I call it "The Hunger Games"! 1.3182 0.13780 22 17 3 2
2512 I think it's missing something...what if we add a moat--with sharks 1.3182 0.13780 22 17 3 2
2513 I miss the days when we used to just disinfect our groceries. 1.3182 0.12108 22 16 5 1
2514 Seems a bit excessive. Trump's only visiting the city—he's not actually coming to our house. 1.3182 0.13780 22 17 3 2
2515 I'm hopeful that this will keep the mold contained. 1.3182 0.10164 22 15 7 0
2516 Maybe they want us to find a place of our own. 1.3182 0.13780 22 17 3 2
2517 This'll stop us from eating all the snacks, right? 1.3182 0.15270 22 18 1 3
2518 What do you have in there, toilet paper? 1.3182 0.13780 22 17 3 2
2519 Midnight snacker........???? 1.3182 0.12108 22 16 5 1
2520 I told you Houdini was going to be a difficult roommate. 1.3182 0.12108 22 16 5 1
2521 Maybe a little overkill, but it broke my midnight snack habit. 1.3182 0.15270 22 18 1 3
2522 This will be the end of late night snacking! 1.3182 0.13780 22 17 3 2
2523 I think this is the kind of thing my therapist means when she says I'm sabotaging myself. 1.3182 0.12108 22 16 5 1
2524 Okay fine, the last piece is yours. 1.3182 0.10164 22 15 7 0
2525 Don't you think we should leave the baby sitter a soda? 1.3182 0.12108 22 16 5 1
2526 You did say you wanted a closed concept kitchen. 1.3182 0.13780 22 17 3 2
2527 This is how they deal with my eating disorder. Still have to tell my parents I’m gay, too. 1.3182 0.13780 22 17 3 2
2528 So I will guess that at least part of your diet is Im-Paleo? 1.3182 0.13780 22 17 3 2
2529 So you haven’t been chipping in for the groceries either? 1.3182 0.12108 22 16 5 1
2530 I think I like it better with the spikes next to the fridge. 1.3182 0.12108 22 16 5 1
2531 Ok if we go out? I'm not really in the mood to cook tonight. 1.3182 0.12108 22 16 5 1
2532 ...or we could join Weight Watchers. 1.3182 0.13780 22 17 3 2
2533 I think the food has become sentient. 1.3182 0.15270 22 18 1 3
2534 It looks good...but 4am me still poses a challenge 1.3182 0.13780 22 17 3 2
2535 Well, you SAID to put some traps in the kitchen. 1.3182 0.12108 22 16 5 1
2536 What do you say we just order out tonight? 1.3182 0.13780 22 17 3 2
2537 This new diet seems a bit draconian. 1.3182 0.10164 22 15 7 0
2538 So, what's your plan of attack? 1.3182 0.12108 22 16 5 1
2539 Depends on the baby. 1.3182 0.12108 22 16 5 1
2540 Unhinged is putting it mildly 1.3182 0.10164 22 15 7 0
2541 Think we're going overboard with this new diet? 1.3182 0.12108 22 16 5 1
2542 It works. 1.3182 0.13780 22 17 3 2
2543 I know he can walk now but do you think we really need to lock the wall cabinets? 1.3182 0.13780 22 17 3 2
2544 No, you’re right, we should just order in again. 1.3182 0.12108 22 16 5 1
2545 They call it the dungeon diet. 1.3182 0.12108 22 16 5 1
2546 The kink is when you realize the food is terrible 1.3182 0.12108 22 16 5 1
2547 It's the new Houdini weight management program . . . 1.3182 0.12108 22 16 5 1
2548 I still feel like Henry's going to get in. 1.3182 0.12108 22 16 5 1
2549 I forgot to grab the lutefisk. 1.3182 0.13780 22 17 3 2
2550 Yeah, it's great, but how are we gonna leave? 1.3182 0.12108 22 16 5 1
2551 This new diet guarantees you lose weight or you die 1.3182 0.13780 22 17 3 2
2552 I'll give you a cupcake,if you tell me where the key is. 1.3182 0.12108 22 16 5 1
2553 I wasn't really that hungry. 1.3182 0.13780 22 17 3 2
2554 Let's just do takeout tonight 1.3182 0.10164 22 15 7 0
2555 The house once belonged to Houdini. 1.3182 0.10164 22 15 7 0
2556 When the realtor said we'd be captivated by the place, this isn't what I had in mind. 1.3182 0.13780 22 17 3 2
2557 When she asked if we'd house-sit Amy mentioned she's working out some trust issues. Wait 'til you see the bedroom. 1.3182 0.12108 22 16 5 1
2558 Wonder if he knows there is another frig in the garage. 1.3182 0.12108 22 16 5 1
2559 Well, Mom is really getting serious about her diet! 1.3182 0.12108 22 16 5 1
2560 Airbnb hosts reserve the right to . . . . 1.3182 0.12108 22 16 5 1
2561 Darn it. I think the light is still on 1.3182 0.12108 22 16 5 1
2562 I told you, their diet plan had a money-back guarantee to lose the cravings immediately. 1.3182 0.10164 22 15 7 0
2563 So, how bad do we want that last piece of cheesecake? 1.3182 0.12108 22 16 5 1
2564 That otta do it! 1.3182 0.13780 22 17 3 2
2565 Stainless steel was definitely the way to go. 1.3182 0.13780 22 17 3 2
2566 Now ... what did you say this diet is called? 1.3182 0.12108 22 16 5 1
2567 Are you sure this will catch the mouse and not our cats? 1.3182 0.12108 22 16 5 1
2568 The whole kit came with my new weight watchers program. 1.3182 0.12108 22 16 5 1
2569 They really do keep the toilet paper in the fridge. 1.3182 0.13780 22 17 3 2
2570 They say the diet works by using psychology 1.3182 0.10164 22 15 7 0
2571 I think you took the Hunger Games too literal 1.3182 0.13780 22 17 3 2
2572 I know the risks are great Tom- but, double cherry, hazelnut, chocolate mouse cheesecake from Mike's, I dunno?" 1.3182 0.13780 22 17 3 2
2573 Mom put Dad on a diet again... 1.3182 0.13780 22 17 3 2
2574 It's called the Houdini Diet, you burn more calories just getting to the food than from the food. 1.3182 0.12108 22 16 5 1
2575 Well, given what happened, this seems appropriate. 1.3182 0.12108 22 16 5 1
2576 I'm wondering if that third padlock is strictly necessary. 1.3182 0.12108 22 16 5 1
2577 Bad parenting movements for boycotting the snacks 1.3182 0.13780 22 17 3 2
2578 That should protect our Kashmiri saffron, beluga caviar and olive wagyu steak. 1.3182 0.12108 22 16 5 1
2579 That's motivation for your brother to get a job and move out of here. 1.3182 0.10164 22 15 7 0
2580 I think I prefer the darker color. It's more soothing. 1.3182 0.12108 22 16 5 1
2581 I mean, really, it's just butter. 1.3182 0.13780 22 17 3 2
2582 Do you really....think...this is the best way.to diet....? 1.3182 0.12108 22 16 5 1
2583 So, what's it going to be tonight? Indian or Thai? 1.3182 0.12108 22 16 5 1
2584 I don't know. It MIGHT discourage Mom from making another one of her "special casseroles" while she's here. 1.3182 0.12108 22 16 5 1
2585 Naw, I'm even more tempted. If I can make it through the challenges then I deserve my midnight snack. 1.3182 0.12108 22 16 5 1
2586 Tell me how you did it when you were only three. 1.3182 0.12108 22 16 5 1
2587 Maybe we should have not bought the ice cream until the weekend? 1.3182 0.12108 22 16 5 1
2588 I told you not to steal her yogurt. 1.3182 0.12108 22 16 5 1
2589 Your sister is pretty intense about her potato salad recipe. 1.3182 0.13780 22 17 3 2
2590 Now I'm really hungry: what did you say you did with the keys? 1.3182 0.12108 22 16 5 1
2591 Honey, I wasn't kidding when I said we were in a total lockdown. 1.3182 0.13780 22 17 3 2
2592 The spikes would normally be on fire but today is my cheat day. 1.3182 0.13780 22 17 3 2
2593 It's only a mouse, Bill. 1.3182 0.13780 22 17 3 2
2594 You could just stop MAKING the fudge. 1.3182 0.13780 22 17 3 2
2595 so this is how lockdown looks from the outside 1.3182 0.13780 22 17 3 2
2596 I told you to stay out of Dad's beer and pretzels! 1.3182 0.10164 22 15 7 0
2597 Eh..? Is it enough diet for you now? 1.3182 0.15270 22 18 1 3
2598 If you think this is over the top, you should see the minefield my dad set up in front of the thermostat... 1.3182 0.12108 22 16 5 1
2599 I can work with the cabinets and appliances but the floor covering would need to be replaced. 1.3182 0.13780 22 17 3 2
2600 Okay, I think we can start our diet now. 1.3182 0.10164 22 15 7 0
2601 I think they are taking this new competitive cooking show concept a bit too far . . . 1.3182 0.12108 22 16 5 1
2602 Overkill"? No, it's not overkill. That mouse was BIG 1.3182 0.15270 22 18 1 3
2603 Well, He’s completely removed all temptation; now if He’ll just deliver us from this damned Evil! 1.3182 0.12108 22 16 5 1
2604 That ought to hold him. 1.3182 0.12108 22 16 5 1
2605 Well honey, you were never much of a cook anyway. 1.3182 0.12108 22 16 5 1
2606 Think we took “die-it” a bit too far. 1.3182 0.12108 22 16 5 1
2607 The first week of the diet is always the hardest. 1.3182 0.13780 22 17 3 2
2608 My dad lost 20 pounds and a leg on the diet 1.3182 0.12108 22 16 5 1
2609 Yeah I know but what do you think about the color? 1.3182 0.10164 22 15 7 0
2610 Have you ever considered what IT wants from US? 1.3182 0.12108 22 16 5 1
2611 They don't call it the Houdini diet for nothing. 1.3182 0.10164 22 15 7 0
2612 Breaking our late night snacking habit can have some traps 1.3182 0.12108 22 16 5 1
2613 Like it or not but we ARE intermittently fasting. 1.3182 0.10164 22 15 7 0
2614 I guess the kids would like to go out to eat to night. 1.3182 0.10164 22 15 7 0
2615 All our talk at dinner about dieting! Guess little Johnny took us seriously! 1.3182 0.12108 22 16 5 1
2616 Ah, it would seem that our new housemate has some possession issues. 1.3182 0.12108 22 16 5 1
2617 Difficult. Not impossible. 1.3182 0.13780 22 17 3 2
2618 The bedrooms are nice, but I prefer an open kitchen. 1.3182 0.15270 22 18 1 3
2619 At least we're food secure. 1.3182 0.12108 22 16 5 1
2620 Aren't you over reacting just a little? I only said " I can't handle another diet!" 1.3182 0.15270 22 18 1 3
2621 It might have been a mistake to hire Stephen King as our dietician. 1.3182 0.13780 22 17 3 2
2622 You up for take-out? 1.3182 0.12108 22 16 5 1
2623 Do you think your old frat buddies could take this the wrong way? 1.3182 0.12108 22 16 5 1
2624 Want to do takeout? 1.3182 0.13780 22 17 3 2
2625 Not everyone gains weight during lock-down 1.3182 0.12108 22 16 5 1
2626 So what's the problem? "Alexa, open the refrigerator." 1.3182 0.12108 22 16 5 1
2627 It's a start, but there's still take-out. 1.3182 0.13780 22 17 3 2
2628 It's the new Noom. 1.3182 0.10164 22 15 7 0
2629 He definitely doesn't want to share his latest Costco run. 1.3182 0.12108 22 16 5 1
2630 'We should have never named him 'Houdini' 1.3182 0.15270 22 18 1 3
2631 I'm not sure how long this new diet will last. 1.3182 0.12108 22 16 5 1
2632 Do you want to call for a locksmith or Chinese take-out? 1.3182 0.10164 22 15 7 0
2633 It's got some of that old world charm. 1.3182 0.12108 22 16 5 1
2634 Can't you be like everyone else and just join Weight Watchers?" 1.3182 0.12108 22 16 5 1
2635 It's your turn to get the Rocky Road. 1.3182 0.12108 22 16 5 1
2636 It lowers cholesterol—pints of it.” 1.3182 0.15270 22 18 1 3
2637 I hate to do this but your father has a bear of an appetite. 1.3182 0.12108 22 16 5 1
2638 Restaurants are desperate to recover. 1.3182 0.12108 22 16 5 1
2639 At least we can wash our hands safely. 1.3182 0.13780 22 17 3 2
2640 Wow, the local restaurant scene is getting more aggressive about reopening. 1.3158 0.13361 19 14 4 1
2641 This is *really* a gamechanger diet 1.3158 0.15395 19 15 2 2
2642 Good idea to keep us away from checking the fridge every 5 minutes, but we should have thought of the time we'd actually needed to feed ourselves. 1.3158 0.10956 19 13 6 0
2643 Hold my beer... 1.3158 0.15395 19 15 2 2
2644 The instructions were in Swedish 1.3158 0.10956 19 13 6 0
2645 Do you think it’s a trap? 1.3158 0.10956 19 13 6 0
2646 To eat, or not to eat. 1.3158 0.10956 19 13 6 0
2647 So, little Houdini says he can get out of there in 10 minutes huh..... 1.3158 0.15395 19 15 2 2
2648 Hun, you might as well just try going out more 1.3158 0.13361 19 14 4 1
2649 Seems like mom was serious this time when she said „time to move out“ 🚧⚔️🚨 1.3158 0.15395 19 15 2 2
2650 I see we’re taking Dry January seriously this time 1.3158 0.13361 19 14 4 1
2651 I know we are done but I forgot my mask in the fridge. 1.3158 0.15395 19 15 2 2
2652 Wow this is exactly how I feel. So glad the artist understands me. 1.3158 0.13361 19 14 4 1
2653 ... but we’re still allowed to wash our hands. That’s something. 1.3158 0.10956 19 13 6 0
2654 The cruelest part is there isn’t even anything in there 1.3158 0.15395 19 15 2 2
2655 Did we go to far? 1.3158 0.15395 19 15 2 2
2656 Your will power is not your super power. 1.3158 0.15395 19 15 2 2
2657 About time someone put the “die” in diet. 1.3158 0.13361 19 14 4 1
2658 I feel like it needs a splash of barb wire to pull the room together. 1.3158 0.13361 19 14 4 1
2659 Ahhhh! It must be true that Houdini once lived here! 1.3158 0.10956 19 13 6 0
2660 It's called the "Temple of Doom diet", I got it from an article on Goop... 1.3158 0.15395 19 15 2 2
2661 We could pull up this linoleum and do oak. 1.3158 0.10956 19 13 6 0
2662 Now, how do we stop take-out? 1.3158 0.13361 19 14 4 1
2663 This wasn't what I meant when I told you to help me with my new lox diet! 1.3158 0.13361 19 14 4 1
2664 Do you prefer the brushed nickel or the antique brass? 1.3158 0.13361 19 14 4 1
2665 You can say what you will … But I confess the low carb diet was easier 1.3158 0.13361 19 14 4 1
2666 ‘“I think the machine-gun nest should go to the right of the refrigerator.” 1.3158 0.13361 19 14 4 1
2667 THIS should stop the COVID-15! 1.3158 0.13361 19 14 4 1
2668 It’s the only way I can do intermittent fasting 1.3158 0.10956 19 13 6 0
2669 Let's eat out. 1.3158 0.10956 19 13 6 0
2670 You’re right. This will definitely be easier than quitting Ambien. 1.3158 0.15395 19 15 2 2
2671 Could we bring back some sweet potato fries? 1.3158 0.15395 19 15 2 2
2672 Are you as excited as I am? 1.3158 0.13361 19 14 4 1
2673 I guess it was the time when my roommate ate all the leftover chicken tikka masala that put me over the edge. 1.3158 0.13361 19 14 4 1
2674 Took us long enough...now I'm hungry. 1.3158 0.13361 19 14 4 1
2675 You forgot the microwave 1.3158 0.10956 19 13 6 0
2676 I guess Mom doesn't plan to feed us this visit. 1.3158 0.13361 19 14 4 1
2677 Agreed then, today I will take your night shift for disinfecting the bear traps. 1.3158 0.13361 19 14 4 1
2678 They were right—all it took was a little portion control. 1.3158 0.10956 19 13 6 0
2679 It's called the Marquis de Sade diet. And it's gluten free. 1.3158 0.10956 19 13 6 0
2680 Now all we need are groceries. 1.3158 0.10956 19 13 6 0
2681 THE NEW DARK AGES DIET! 1.3158 0.13361 19 14 4 1
2682 Now, what are we going to do about the ants? 1.3158 0.13361 19 14 4 1
2683 This should keep the dishes away. 1.3158 0.15395 19 15 2 2
2684 As punishment, couldn’t you have just told the kids no milk and cookies? 1.3158 0.10956 19 13 6 0
2685 Rocky Road is definitely worth the risk. 1.3158 0.10956 19 13 6 0
2686 I don’t know, poodles are pretty smart. 1.3158 0.13361 19 14 4 1
2687 So is this to keep you out or the gelato in? 1.3158 0.13361 19 14 4 1
2688 We could just raise his rent. 1.3158 0.17189 19 16 0 3
2689 The current owner did mention being on a fad diet 1.3158 0.10956 19 13 6 0
2690 Who needs discipline? 1.3158 0.13361 19 14 4 1
2691 Wow, her secret ingredient really is...secret 1.3158 0.13361 19 14 4 1
2692 I'm going to stick to this diet even if it kills me! 1.3158 0.10956 19 13 6 0
2693 You've really got to work on your will power. 1.3158 0.13361 19 14 4 1
2694 And you're sure this is what Gwyneth Paltrow said we should do? 1.3158 0.13361 19 14 4 1
2695 The exterminator described it as 'scrappy.' 1.3158 0.13361 19 14 4 1
2696 ...and that's where we keep the face masks 1.3158 0.13361 19 14 4 1
2697 When the vacation rental listing said 'limited kitchen facilities', I wasn't expecting this. 1.3158 0.15395 19 15 2 2
2698 I feel like maybe we should just live with those last 5 lbs. 1.3158 0.15395 19 15 2 2
2699 I think it's called the Draconian diet plan. 1.3158 0.15395 19 15 2 2
2700 I can't remember if I turned the light off. 1.3158 0.13361 19 14 4 1
2701 It’s the only way that I can stay on my diet. 1.3158 0.13361 19 14 4 1
2702 It’s a new diet I’m trying. What do you think 1.3125 0.10470 32 24 6 2
2703 I’m thirsty 1.3103 0.11212 29 22 5 2
2704 The moat would have been a real value add 1.3103 0.11212 29 22 5 2
2705 Maybe we add some barbed wire? He is a teenage boy, you know! 1.3077 0.10769 26 19 6 1
2706 No. It does NOT go with our couch, Ray! 1.3077 0.09231 26 18 8 0
2707 I know I just checked it, but I have to get back in there to look again 1.3077 0.12114 26 20 4 2
2708 This still seems safer than the grocery store 1.3077 0.09231 26 18 8 0
2709 Your dad is really serious about his leftovers. 1.3077 0.09231 26 18 8 0
2710 You think this is overkill? You should see the Toilet Paper Vault! 1.3077 0.10769 26 19 6 1
2711 Too bad that cookie dough is to die for 1.3077 0.12114 26 20 4 2
2712 I don't know, I feel like 3am me can still find a way 1.3077 0.13323 26 21 2 3
2713 The newest weight loss plan. It works great, but it'll cost you an arm and a leg! 1.3077 0.12114 26 20 4 2
2714 Do you know a good locksmith? Cause I ate the key. 1.3077 0.12114 26 20 4 2
2715 The dragon gets delivered seperately. 1.3077 0.12114 26 20 4 2
2716 If the owner didn’t want us eating their food, I’m sure it would’ve been mentioned in the listing. 1.3077 0.13323 26 21 2 3
2717 I don't know, Fran--my brother once fought a hungry bear for a baloney sandwich. 1.3077 0.09231 26 18 8 0
2718 How he got in there is not the question. The question is how do we get him out? 1.3077 0.10769 26 19 6 1
2719 You should see the bedroom. 1.3077 0.12114 26 20 4 2
2720 I saw him do this last week. Let's wait just a few more minutes. 1.3077 0.12114 26 20 4 2
2721 This is really gonna put the 'die' in 'diet' 1.3077 0.10769 26 19 6 1
2722 The dishwasher should outlive its warranty! 1.3077 0.12114 26 20 4 2
2723 It’s a prototype for the White House kitchen. 1.3077 0.10769 26 19 6 1
2724 Another way would be to stop buying snacks 1.3077 0.10769 26 19 6 1
2725 Yes, my new diet does rely quite heavily on behavior modification. 1.3077 0.12114 26 20 4 2
2726 So, you hate my cooking THAT much? 1.3077 0.12114 26 20 4 2
2727 Takeout is still too risky, I am going to chance it. 1.3077 0.10769 26 19 6 1
2728 Brad, our two teenagers are having four friends over. I don't think this will do much good. 1.3077 0.12114 26 20 4 2
2729 I was eating too much cheese. 1.3077 0.13323 26 21 2 3
2730 Thank God the kids haven't found our secret stash! 1.3077 0.12114 26 20 4 2
2731 tell me again, why do we need the dishwasher? 1.3077 0.10769 26 19 6 1
2732 The rental contract did say "some storage areas may not be available". 1.3077 0.09231 26 18 8 0
2733 Shouldn’t we be wearing a mask? 1.3077 0.13323 26 21 2 3
2734 Older houses always have a few kinks 1.3077 0.12114 26 20 4 2
2735 So... we're ordering pizza? 1.3077 0.12114 26 20 4 2
2736 My mom's new weight loss program. 1.3077 0.12114 26 20 4 2
2737 I'm trying to find new ways to get us out of the house. 1.3077 0.12114 26 20 4 2
2738 There's always the bleach under the sink 1.3077 0.10769 26 19 6 1
2739 Maybe we should have asked the decorator for references. 1.3077 0.09231 26 18 8 0
2740 Brilliant... this is just my kind of kink. Such a tease, babe. 1.3077 0.10769 26 19 6 1
2741 What do you think of my new diet plan? 1.3077 0.10769 26 19 6 1
2742 The diet's upside is you are allowed all the carbs you can find in the fridge. 1.3077 0.12114 26 20 4 2
2743 No wonder their listing didn't show the kitchen. 1.3077 0.10769 26 19 6 1
2744 So, you're really serious about the diet thingy this time? 1.3077 0.12114 26 20 4 2
2745 All this for sourdough starter? 1.3077 0.12114 26 20 4 2
2746 "Well, this should help the kids focus more during their distance learning classes. But it's certainly going to make working from home a real drag." 1.3077 0.12114 26 20 4 2
2747 It's sad the cat died, but I have lost 7 pounds. 1.3077 0.12114 26 20 4 2
2748 We need a better mousetrap. 1.3077 0.12114 26 20 4 2
2749 At least it comes with a dishwasher... 1.3077 0.09231 26 18 8 0
2750 What breed is our cat? 1.3077 0.13323 26 21 2 3
2751 Should we leave a note with the phone number where we'll be on vacation? 1.3077 0.10769 26 19 6 1
2752 Mom swears it works. Not counting the missing toes she's lost 15 pounds so far. 1.3077 0.12114 26 20 4 2
2753 'And if he has been sleepwalking, then I guess I'll owe him an apology' 1.3077 0.09231 26 18 8 0
2754 How about a nice restaurant? Let’s go out tonight. It’s been a while, hasn’t it? 1.3077 0.12114 26 20 4 2
2755 That should keep us busy for rest of the lockdown! 1.3043 0.11652 23 17 5 1
2756 The storied bear market.. 1.3043 0.13240 23 18 3 2
2757 I don’t think this is what they meant by Lockdown 1.3043 0.13240 23 18 3 2
2758 Honey, I swear I heard the turkey sneezing 1.3043 0.11652 23 17 5 1
2759 Honestly speaking, I think we made a great investment on this gear. With the way 2020 has turned out, it wouldn't be a surprise if there were a zombie apocalypse on the way. 1.3043 0.11652 23 17 5 1
2760 It was your idea to go on a diet. 1.3043 0.11652 23 17 5 1
2761 So this is what a toddler feels like around the kitchen. 1.3043 0.11652 23 17 5 1
2762 „I‘m sorry, I didn‘t realize you were talking about politics when you told me to prepare for the Hunger Games“ 1.3043 0.13240 23 18 3 2
2763 This should stop my office mates from eating my lunch. 1.3043 0.13240 23 18 3 2
2764 When they said 'lockdown', we took it to heart. 1.3043 0.11652 23 17 5 1
2765 There, now we can begin the juice cleanse. 1.3043 0.11652 23 17 5 1
2766 I call it "Ironmonger Chef." 1.3043 0.11652 23 17 5 1
2767 Are you sure about this diet? 1.3043 0.11652 23 17 5 1
2768 Looks like Grandpa’s off his meds again. 1.3043 0.13240 23 18 3 2