Contest #714


Cartoon

714

The winning captions

These captions are chosen by The New Yorker.

  1. “You’re right. It is easier with the ball.”
  2. “He just loves finding new ways to be indifferent.”
  3. “Remember, whoever drops him gets to dry him off.”


Name Value
Submission deadline 2020-06-21T18:07:00.000Z
Voting started -
Voting ended 2020-07-12T18:16:00.000Z
Finalists announced 2020-06-29T18:14:00.000Z
Magazine(s) announcing finalists issued July 6 & 13, 2020
Number of captions 5495
Number of responses 870375
Number of participants -


Dashboard

In this table, the "mean" means the empirically measured average funniness score when the "unfunny", "somewhat funny" and "funny" receive a funniness score of 1, 2, 3 respectively. "Precison" is the standard error of the mean, the standard deviation of the mean estimate. With that, a caption with an empirical mean μ and precision σ has true mean in the range [μ - 2σ, μ + 2σ] with 95% probability by the 68-95-99.7 rule assuming the responses are indepedent and identically distributed.

Rank Caption Mean Precision Total votes "Unfunny" votes "Somewhat funny" votes "Funny" votes
0 At that moment Willow was consumed with three thoughts: she couldn't swim,they were on their third drink,and she was on her ninth life. 2.1060 0.00684 12981 3354 4909 4714
1 God, I cannot wait until they go back to work 2.0987 0.00715 11683 2982 4560 4129
2 It was times like these that Mr. Snuffles most regretted being declawed. 2.0335 0.00752 10754 3114 4173 3463
3 When you suggested wine, the hot tub, your balls and my pussy, I expected something different. 2.0262 0.00907 8962 3222 2298 3441
4 Get adopted,” they said. “It’ll be fun,” they said 1.9758 0.00774 10240 3278 3935 3022
5 Tonight, your bottom dresser drawer is my litter box. 1.9240 0.00803 9954 3618 3477 2852
6 I’m still ignoring you 1.8848 0.00824 9069 3384 3347 2333
7 God I wish they’d had kids 1.8810 0.00786 9383 3345 3806 2225
8 Must. Remain. Aloof. 1.8690 0.00820 8611 3151 3447 2011
9 When the cat nip wears off and you wonder how you got here 1.8665 0.00861 8262 3156 3050 2053
10 Everything considered, I think I prefer the hot tin roof . . . 1.8570 0.00965 6601 2567 2411 1623
11 It was just then that Kitty realized — like the rest of 2020 — this would not end well. 1.8497 0.00867 7762 2951 3032 1772
12 That’s when it hit me. What if the whole ‘9 lives’ is just a myth? 1.8473 0.01538 2390 886 983 521
13 In about 10 seconds they’re going to wish they had declawed me. 1.8396 0.00962 6298 2420 2468 1410
14 Nine lives matter 1.8195 0.01145 5231 2350 1475 1406
15 Bob was beginning to regret adding “Cat Lover” to his dating profile. 1.8133 0.01061 5162 2071 1984 1107
16 Pet log, Stardate 4513.3: It's been 63 days since the humans have been in lockdown, and I'm officially in hell" 1.7858 0.00989 5929 2491 2217 1221
17 After careful consideration, Mr. Kitty decides to become a stray. 1.7229 0.00929 6522 2996 2331 1187
18 Please God, let them go back to work! 1.7159 0.01114 4502 2079 1623 800
19 And they wonder why I avoid them all day. 1.6903 0.01335 3126 1505 1084 537
20 Get your mind out of the gutter, Paul. This is what I meant. 1.6707 0.01356 3055 1527 1007 521
21 Joan and Fred's deaths were swift and horrific. 1.6681 0.01195 4278 2264 1176 837
22 You were right, I'm having way more fun now we've added the ball. 1.6640 0.01241 3694 1880 1175 639
23 I don't see why the dog says he loves playing ball with them. 1.6618 0.01101 4364 2149 1544 670
24 Why don't they just get Netflix like everyone else? 1.6605 0.01259 3237 1566 1204 467
25 How long before you guys are forced to face the real problems in your marriage? 1.6553 0.01185 3780 1879 1325 576
26 Jon, Super glue was a GREAT idea! 1.6551 0.01331 3297 1727 980 590
27 I can’t figure out if I sniffed too much catnip or if they drank too much wine. 1.6547 0.01713 1706 823 649 234
28 Quarantine has not been good to Boots. 1.6543 0.01746 1640 791 625 224
29 Be honest, Harold, do you think all this isolation is making us weird?” 1.6505 0.01271 3087 1497 1172 418
30 I haven't seen that look on his face since we had him neutered. 1.6486 0.01206 3631 1820 1267 544
31 Fluffy knew it was only a matter of time before the claws came out, but timing was everything. 1.6447 0.01316 3000 1501 1064 435
32 Where’s that stupid dog when you need him? 1.6429 0.01774 1641 821 585 235
33 Mittens was not, in fact, “having a ball” 1.6412 0.02795 694 357 229 108
34 Honestly I’d prefer a hot tin roof. 1.6335 0.01171 3962 2072 1264 621
35 I knew I should’ve meowed at the other couple who wanted to adopt me. 1.6214 0.01282 3098 1597 1077 424
36 It was the last moment Joe and Cindy remembered before waking up in the hospital 1.6209 0.01435 2775 1518 791 466
37 Finally, all those years of her practice on the Roomba have paid off. 1.6206 0.01430 2620 1387 840 393
38 Call the Schroedingers and let them know their cat is here. 1.6181 0.01731 1901 1043 541 317
39 Fluffy contemplates the ironies of the ‘safer at home’ initiative 1.6180 0.01434 2618 1395 828 395
40 That split second between cata"tonic" and catastrophic 1.6073 0.01518 2381 1304 708 369
41 Mittens would never forgive them for what seconds later would live on forever as “the pool incident” 1.6059 0.01419 2563 1365 843 355
42 You see, you could never do that with a baby. 1.6019 0.01386 2786 1519 852 411
43 They think this is fun. Wait until they go to sleep. 1.6003 0.01699 1724 911 591 222
44 Humans........so easy to train...... 1.5904 0.01867 1411 754 481 176
45 Mr. Whiskers, ever the unfriendly stoic, tried his best to hide that he was having the time of his life during quarantine. 1.5831 0.01523 2195 1207 696 292
46 But I'm weird for playing with yarn? 1.5807 0.03096 570 325 159 86
47 Barbara & Kevin couldn’t wait to test Trump’s latest advice: “My medical people - very good people - tell me that drinking wine whilst performing the Macarena in a swimming pool under the supervision of a cat precariously balanced on a blow up ball, is proven to prevent Covid-19.” 1.5806 0.01802 1831 1089 421 321
48 The vet said he needed to get more exercise. 1.5742 0.01485 2285 1269 720 296
49 'Can't friggin wait 'til these idiots go back to work.' 1.5670 0.01527 2185 1247 644 292
50 Tell us what you did with the dog or we let go of the ball. 1.5667 0.02982 607 352 166 89
51 No, I didn't train her. I just said: 'Stay off the beach ball!' 1.5592 0.01757 1597 933 448 216
52 You won't believe it, but my last boyfriend and my last cat both hated this game. 1.5561 0.01742 1604 904 508 192
53 And that adoption agency called us ‘unfit.’ 1.5550 0.02732 618 341 211 66
54 Get adopted, they said. You'll love your new family, they said. 1.5518 0.01781 1555 888 476 191
55 You're kidding. I thought he was your cat. 1.5506 0.02354 879 500 274 105
56 They could have learned a language during lockdown but no, they chose this. 1.5504 0.01770 1566 899 473 192
57 It was at this moment that Mittens knew he had to find a cure for COVID 1.5491 0.02034 1324 798 326 200
58 That's it. We've officially run out of things to do. 1.5481 0.02115 1113 642 332 139
59 And yet.....He still looks bored. 1.5467 0.01798 1476 838 469 169
60 Remember, whoever drops him gets to dry him off. 1.5467 0.01768 1606 932 470 204
61 When I pee in their wine glasses, they"ll sober up. 1.5462 0.01929 1428 850 376 202
62 I will sit where I want and you can work around me. 1.5458 0.01779 1561 901 468 192
63 The Schrodingers on vacation. 1.5441 0.01889 1566 957 366 243
64 Remember, if the cat falls in we have to pour another round. 1.5439 0.02322 934 545 270 119
65 Must... keep... claws... retracted. 1.5425 0.01738 1552 881 500 171
66 Why is it that we all three know this is going to end ugly, but we keep playing? 1.5415 0.02136 1036 591 329 116
67 When you're a star, they let you do it. You can do anything. ... Grab the ball by the pussy. You can do anything." 1.5408 0.01931 1470 895 355 220
68 And it was at that very moment that I decided, "If I live through today, I will kill them" 1.5362 0.01874 1438 851 403 184
69 He just loves finding new ways to be indifferent. 1.5342 0.01943 1258 728 388 142
70 This is what happens when I feign interest in them. 1.5300 0.01930 1217 696 397 124
71 A large enough litterbox and I could bury them both 1.5287 0.02604 783 479 194 110
72 I told you that was good catnip. 1.5277 0.01940 1264 740 381 143
73 This didn’t end well for me the last 8 times. 1.5256 0.02138 995 574 319 102
74 Have you seen the cat? 1.5255 0.02105 1136 683 309 144
75 - cat reconsiders the feral life - 1.5228 0.02070 1098 645 332 121
76 I will kill them in their sleep. 1.5195 0.02214 1078 667 260 150
77 Before launching #MeowToo, Minerva endured much in silence. 1.5168 0.02262 1041 650 244 147
78 Please go back to work. 1.5161 0.02106 1058 628 314 116
79 And suddenly Whiskers realized she was ready for her humans to return to work. 1.5154 0.02158 1071 652 286 133
80 You're right. It is easier with the ball. 1.5134 0.02311 931 568 248 115
81 Don’t complain—these YouTube videos paid for this vacation. 1.5120 0.02207 959 572 283 104
82 Just watching them makes me feel superior. 1.5094 0.02299 850 524 228 98
83 This didn’t work as well as sitting on their laptops. 1.5074 0.02248 950 577 264 109
84 No cats were harmed during the making of this cartoon 1.5051 0.02347 877 536 239 102
85 I can't believe I've got to spend nine lives with these bozos. 1.5024 0.02775 625 383 170 72
86 But it does keep him off the drapes. 1.5006 0.02265 847 501 268 78
87 Day 94, Pouilly-Fuissé kitty toss 1.4984 0.02715 632 385 179 68
88 It was in that moment Felix realized he was on his ninth and final life. 1.4936 0.02450 857 547 197 113
89 Let’s have another glass of wine and try this with the baby. 1.4936 0.02460 855 547 194 114
90 To claw, or not to claw ... 1.4929 0.02548 708 433 201 74
91 When you said: "Do you wanna play around with my pussy," this is definitely NOT what I had in mind." 1.4925 0.02612 737 467 177 93
92 He only cares about the ball because we’re playing with it. 1.4910 0.02410 774 471 226 77
93 If this doesn't go viral, we're doing porn. 1.4902 0.02262 767 498 183 86
94 I wish they were dog people. 1.4893 0.02527 748 467 196 85
95 Gosh, this is so much easier than with the ferret. 1.4886 0.02648 657 405 183 69
96 You hear a hissing noise? 1.4874 0.02304 794 475 251 68
97 It works better now that he's declawed. 1.4867 0.02407 789 489 217 83
98 The real punishment is having to look at you guys in your bathing suits. 1.4867 0.02565 713 444 191 78
99 Cause of death: white privilege. 1.4859 0.02562 780 503 175 102
100 Get humans they said. It'll be fun they said... 1.4852 0.02911 575 364 143 68
101 A cat, a ball and gravity. What could go wrong? 1.4834 0.02481 755 471 203 81
102 After this, getting him in the carrier will be easy. 1.4827 0.02409 752 459 223 70
103 Cat rules - No. 14: Cats must always sit on whatever their owner is trying to use 1.4821 0.02710 670 428 161 81
104 This is a lot of effort for a funny cat video. 1.4807 0.02539 699 433 196 70
105 What 2020 feels like. 1.4800 0.02637 675 425 176 74
106 I can't believe I have to waste one of my lives on this. 1.4786 0.02748 608 383 160 65
107 I wonder if it’s better to keep my nails to myself or just end it all at once. 1.4766 0.02573 661 408 191 62
108 I don't think this is what the relationship therapist meant by taking more risks. 1.4747 0.02811 554 343 159 52
109 You guys really need a dog. 1.4733 0.02728 581 359 169 53
110 Of all the people looking to adopt a cat...I get these two 1.4731 0.02746 613 388 160 65
111 Getting the mouse inside the beach ball is the tricky part 1.4725 0.02772 599 379 157 63
112 This will be much harder with the dog. 1.4723 0.02530 667 411 197 59
113 Shouldn’t you be out protesting? 1.4711 0.02616 658 414 178 66
114 Best of nine. 1.4691 0.02883 550 349 144 57
115 You know, I rarely do this on a first date. 1.4690 0.02773 548 338 163 47
116 You didn’t tell me you live with a party animal. 1.4689 0.02860 531 331 151 49
117 Sprinkles was beginning to wonder if her life-long friendship with Jed and Cindy had just been a case of Stockholm syndrome. 1.4666 0.02734 628 404 155 69
118 He started by riding the Roomba but soon started to look for greater challenges 1.4666 0.02687 628 399 165 64
119 It had taken Binky months to train them. 1.4653 0.02791 619 403 144 72
120 Clueless pet owners, part 3: "The vet said: 'Perhaps she's bored. Try a ball toss.' 1.4649 0.03017 499 318 130 51
121 Let's go see if the birdie is ready for a round of badminton. 1.4635 0.03362 425 277 99 49
122 As you can see, he’s a well balanced cat. 1.4635 0.02689 602 379 167 56
123 I think I hear a hissing sound. 1.4625 0.03617 320 199 94 27
124 It got him off your keyboard didn’t it? 1.4612 0.02759 516 315 164 37
125 Ever since we got the robot vac, he has to ride on anything that moves. 1.4608 0.03088 421 259 130 32
126 Isn't it cute the way cats pretend we are idiots? 1.4604 0.02831 543 346 145 52
127 After thirty-seven hours, no one wanted to tell Myrtle and George that Guinness no longer accepts entries for “longest time cat kept in air on ball” category. 1.4564 0.02863 539 345 142 52
128 It’s times like this that I wish I weren’t declawed. 1.4562 0.02719 559 350 163 46
129 Next trip let's save up so we can swim with dolphins instead 1.4562 0.02801 559 357 149 53
130 I dunno. This doesn’t seem as fun as the dog said it would be. 1.4560 0.02796 557 355 150 52
131 Schrödinger never forgot the moment his interest switched from experimental to theoretical physics. 1.4525 0.03034 537 360 111 66
132 Day 57 1.4517 0.03039 487 316 122 49
133 'I sincerely miss the time I was Schrodinger's cat' 1.4511 0.02913 532 346 132 54
134 WOW...!!! That Gorilla Glue really works...!! 1.4509 0.02993 530 351 119 60
135 This is great! Usually she doesn't like the men I bring home. 1.4505 0.02977 475 302 132 41
136 The downside of having nine lives. 1.4489 0.02757 519 324 157 38
137 Fluffy began to suspect he had been tricked into an elaborate surprise bath time scheme 1.4487 0.03053 468 302 122 44
138 Everyone has their own reasons for hating the coronavirus 1.4471 0.02912 510 329 134 47
139 All they do is drink, sleep, and play. 1.4451 0.02975 501 327 125 49
140 They REALLY need another couple to play with. 1.4449 0.03024 499 329 118 52
141 The room and board isn't worth this 1.4433 0.03032 494 326 117 51
142 In homes around the world, pets begin to eagerly await their humans return to work 1.4431 0.02958 492 319 128 45
143 It’s extreme, yes, but I guarantee they will never ask us to cat-sit again. 1.4427 0.03161 436 284 111 41
144 Better than a hot tin roof! 1.4410 0.03109 483 323 107 53
145 Felix thought, "This catnip is freakin' amazing!" 1.4400 0.03018 475 310 121 44
146 I’d trade all nine lives to have my claws back for one second. 1.4397 0.03114 473 315 108 50
147 No way he lands on his feet. 1.4386 0.02956 472 304 129 39
148 You’re right. This IS more fun than goat yoga. 1.4379 0.03188 443 294 104 45
149 (looking back I realized that letting them make me ride the Roomba was a mistake) 1.4378 0.03058 466 306 116 44
150 Say, Charles, do you think this is The New Yorker’s most pathetic attempt yet to work a cat into a cartoon? 1.4374 0.03263 423 281 99 43
151 Yup, going back to stray life 1.4372 0.03000 462 299 124 39
152 Strange how fast things become the “new normal” 1.4372 0.03031 462 301 120 41
153 The crazy glue is really working! 1.4372 0.03153 462 307 104 49
154 If we can do this, we’re definitely ready to have a baby! 1.4358 0.03323 397 262 97 38
155 At the moment, Mittens wasn’t feeling very “rescued.” 1.4354 0.03101 457 302 111 44
156 Well the superglue works 1.4352 0.03126 455 302 108 45
157 He had the same look on his face at the dog park." 1.4349 0.03104 453 299 111 43
158 On the next toss, try putting more spin on it 1.4347 0.03278 398 261 101 36
159 Not quite as much fun as stepping on my bladder at 4:00 every morning, is it Pumpkin? 1.4346 0.03192 451 303 100 48
160 I believe it was Jerry Seinfeld who said that nothing is fun for the whole family. 1.4312 0.03139 436 288 108 40
161 And so began a revelation - she was over sacrificing her comfort for their amusement, over being the glue that kept the humans’ love life intact, over the debt she felt she owed them for adopting and not shopping. She was finally ready to embrace the joy of missing out. Let them find someone else to post on social media for likes. With this silent proclamation, she set herself free and knocked over their wine glasses before she vanished from their lives, until dinner time. 1.4298 0.03554 363 248 75 40
162 There is no winner in a game of cat and spouse. 1.4296 0.03051 433 286 110 37
163 Schrödinger's Cat finally reaches a state of superposition. 1.4282 0.03332 425 291 86 48
164 White people. 1.4279 0.03446 409 283 77 49
165 Don’t show them you’re having fun...Don’t show them you’re having fun...Don’t show them you’re having fun... 1.4276 0.03182 421 279 104 38
166 Welcome back to the 2020 Summer Olympics. Jim, would you agree that COVID-19 has made this the oddest games in recent memory? 1.4262 0.03437 359 238 89 32
167 Is he enjoying it? I don't know. He's a cat. 1.4258 0.03106 418 273 112 33
168 it was then that Bojangles realized he detested mankind. he loathed their childish games, their adolescence. he hated the frothy bowl from which he drank. the pellets he absently munched upon, day by day. a revolution was near. there would be blood. 1.4258 0.03338 418 286 86 46
169 And in that instant, Pookers knew he would be finding a new home, right after hiding the bodies. 1.4258 0.03286 418 283 92 43
170 Day 97. The humans continue to occupy my home, and have now begun to force my participation in their ‘self care’ activities. Send help. 1.4255 0.03262 416 280 95 41
171 Suddenly, Schrödinger’s cat realized it detested indeterminacy. 1.4251 0.03326 414 282 88 44
172 I hope they break up. 1.4248 0.03193 412 273 103 36
173 Cats get bored if you don't play with them. 1.4248 0.03302 412 279 91 42
174 Hey... do you think that maybe this is why the last one ran away? 1.4244 0.03185 410 271 104 35
175 It's no goat yoga, but I feel relaxed 1.4244 0.03148 410 269 108 33
176 What happened to those quiet days when they went to work. 1.4240 0.03101 408 265 113 30
177 Next week we take him bowling. 1.4222 0.03193 405 268 103 34
178 Whatever we do, she has to be the center of attention 1.4218 0.03223 403 268 100 35
179 Ever since the Roomba he just rides everything. 1.4214 0.03156 401 263 107 31
180 Best thing for you Fluffy would be to spit out the goldfish before our arms grow tired. 1.4214 0.03348 401 273 87 41
181 No, the cat is not declawed. Why do you ask? 1.4214 0.03253 401 268 97 36
182 He still looks bored 1.4214 0.03176 401 264 105 32
183 Do you see him, too? 1.4211 0.03457 342 226 88 28
184 These midday Quarantinis are making me wish I had only one life! 1.4211 0.03284 399 268 94 37
185 I’m getting tired of you two putting me in the middle of your little games 1.4204 0.03418 333 217 92 24
186 Drink up smart ones. If I fall in this pool your bed will be my litter box at 3am. 1.4203 0.03268 395 264 96 35
187 I call this game 2020. It provides hours of boredom punctuated with bursts of sheer terror! 1.4198 0.03358 393 267 87 39
188 At this moment Mittens realized she didn’t have to just sit there and take it anymore 1.4171 0.03023 386 246 119 21
189 Clearly humans, I have mastered your silly game 1.4167 0.03291 384 257 94 33
190 This is what I get for shredding the last roll of toilet paper 1.4167 0.03393 384 262 84 38
191 I hope they both catch it 1.4167 0.03492 384 267 74 43
192 I wish the club had a kitty pool. 1.4162 0.03365 382 259 87 36
193 Do I really have to put up with this for 8 more lives...... 1.4162 0.03345 382 258 89 35
194 Will these morons just get Coronavirus already?? 1.4162 0.03466 382 264 77 41
195 Have you noticed that every time we drink the sofa ends up shredded? 1.4158 0.03519 380 265 72 43
196 Things have gone downhill from my pharaoh days 1.4153 0.03328 378 254 91 33
197 . Fluffy couldn't decide which human she would kill first. 1.4153 0.03411 378 258 83 37
198 If she didn't like it she'd jump off. 1.4153 0.03328 378 254 91 33
199 'This is the last time I allow myself to be rescued on the Upper East Side' 1.4144 0.03416 374 255 83 36
200 Were I white; they wouldn’t pull this stuff. 1.4129 0.03414 356 241 72 35
201 What happened to the seal? 1.4129 0.03390 373 256 81 36
202 Can a cat land on his feet under water? 1.4129 0.03271 373 248 96 29
203 My cat? I thought it was yours. 1.4114 0.03192 367 240 103 24
204 How much wine did you give the cat? 1.4113 0.03289 355 234 96 25
205 They're so cute when they're paralyzed with fear. 1.4110 0.03386 365 247 86 32
206 I like to call it 'Fur Ball'! 1.4105 0.03399 363 242 85 31
207 Nonsense - he's having a ball! 1.4105 0.03354 363 244 89 30
208 People---have you considered my dismount? 1.4105 0.03422 363 247 83 33
209 Uh oh... this isn’t the Roomba 1.4100 0.03344 361 242 90 29
210 A ball of yarn just doesn’t do it for her anymore 1.4090 0.03275 357 239 90 27
211 MUST SWALLOW KEY TO WINE CELLAR! 1.4090 0.03462 357 244 80 33
212 Downtime at the Schrödinger's 1.4062 0.03675 352 250 61 41
213 This will weed out the caption writers. 1.4062 0.03495 352 242 77 33
214 He does it just to feel superior. 1.4059 0.03484 303 199 85 19
215 How long has that cat been there? 1.4058 0.03522 345 237 76 32
216 Remember our first cat? 1.4057 0.03438 350 238 82 30
217 Little do they know I've taken swimming lessons 1.4052 0.03428 348 236 83 29
218 It was all fun and games for Mittens until the humans stopped leaving the house. 1.4048 0.03683 294 198 73 23
219 See, I told you Super Glue would work. 1.4046 0.03430 351 239 82 30
220 I figured out how to start it. You figure out how to stop. 1.4041 0.03430 344 233 83 28
221 Let’s hope this goes better than it did with the children 1.4041 0.03380 344 231 87 26
222 Stubbornness and fear of water combined are strong enough to defy the laws of physics. 1.4035 0.03368 342 229 88 25
223 He’ll sit on anything I’m using to get my attention. 1.4035 0.03493 342 234 78 30
224 If he were nervous, we'd know. 1.4035 0.03394 342 230 86 26
225 Should we give it a spin? 1.4029 0.03507 340 233 77 30
226 Eight 1.4024 0.03369 338 226 88 24
227 The untenable life of an adult cat of alcoholics. 1.4024 0.03571 338 234 72 32
228 Don’t mind him. He’s just here to make sure we remain six feet apart. 1.4007 0.03742 287 195 69 23
229 Gato Polo! 1.4006 0.03566 332 229 73 30
230 Stultorum infinitus est numerus... The number of fools is infinite 1.3988 0.03546 331 228 74 29
231 Hank, do you hear that hissing sound? 1.3988 0.03415 331 223 84 24
232 The CBD drops are working! Look how calm he is in the water now. 1.3988 0.03361 331 221 88 22
233 2020 so far: cat’s point of view 1.3976 0.03442 327 221 82 24
234 Drop me and it’s Marco Polo with fangs and claws. 1.3973 0.03712 297 204 68 25
235 Day #103 with the humans proves to be even more exhausting than Day #102 1.3970 0.03552 330 228 73 29
236 ‘Stay home, save lives’ they say... now I only have 3 left! 1.3970 0.03500 330 226 77 27
237 4 months into the Coronavirus shutdown, Tom and Mary finally felt a sense of accomplishment. 1.3970 0.03366 330 221 87 22
238 Honey, your cat glue... it really works! 1.3970 0.03255 330 229 75 25
239 Do you think he misses us when we're gone? 1.3970 0.03283 330 218 93 19
240 The disappointing moment Larry realizes he misunderstood his wife’s invitation to join her in the spa to “play with her kitty.” 1.3969 0.03721 325 230 61 34
241 I knew they really weren't cat people." 1.3969 0.03373 325 217 87 21
242 Trying to decide how to murder the humans and make it look like a accident 1.3963 0.03498 323 220 78 25
243 I bet you're wondering how I got here. Well it all started when they were deemed non-essential...." 1.3963 0.03526 323 221 76 26
244 It was at that moment that Norman felt that chasing a little red light on the wall did NOT make him the inferior species... 1.3963 0.03633 323 225 68 30
245 I’m the one who needs a glass of wine. 1.3960 0.03546 298 200 78 20
246 I'm so glad things have gone back to normal. 1.3957 0.03529 326 224 75 27
247 For the moment, the Schrodingers' cat was both clawed and declawed. 1.3956 0.03702 321 226 63 32
248 You’ve made your point - this cat can sit and stay better than my dog. 1.3950 0.03528 319 218 76 25
249 Help,I'm on my eighth life and they're on their third bottle 1.3950 0.03528 319 218 76 25
250 8 to go! 1.3937 0.03500 315 214 78 23
251 Never in my nine lives have I been so disrespected. 1.3923 0.03559 311 213 74 24
252 But Geoffrey, you did say '"let's have a drink, jump in the pool, and have some fun with my pussy!" 1.3923 0.03758 311 220 60 31
253 Gonna pop this thing in 3....2.... 1.3916 0.03633 309 214 69 26
254 I wasn’t always a grumpy cat. Until one summer day... 1.3916 0.03485 309 209 79 21
255 Don't be silly, they love water! 1.3916 0.03545 309 211 75 23
256 We call it Cat on a Taut Thin Pouf. 1.3916 0.03775 309 219 59 31
257 You got adopted," they said. "It will be fun," they said 1.3896 0.03536 308 213 71 24
258 When I asked if I could join them for a poolside highball, this is not exactly what I had in mind. 1.3896 0.03754 308 218 60 30
259 When I tell my girlfriends about our first date, what should I call this game? 1.3896 0.03810 308 220 56 32
260 Wow... Let's get another glass of wine and see if we can get him to use the diving board. 1.3896 0.03491 308 209 78 21
261 He's just as playful as the shelter described him online. 1.3896 0.03551 308 211 74 23
262 This is what happens when dog people get a cat. 1.3896 0.03368 308 205 86 17
263 The family cat hoping the next eight lives aren’t spent quarantined with humans. 1.3889 0.03685 306 214 65 27
264 Great. I’ve been adopted by alcoholics 1.3889 0.03626 306 212 69 25
265 I thought when you said I could play with your... nevermind. 1.3889 0.03699 306 217 60 29
266 My life was better when you both had jobs 1.3882 0.03521 304 207 76 21
267 After the fourth month of constant human presence, Fluffy no longer cared about the “nine lives” theory. 1.3880 0.03715 299 209 64 26
268 See? With the ball, it's much more humane. 1.3880 0.03561 299 204 74 21
269 Oh, relax. The sign says 'no horseplay.' 1.3880 0.03561 299 204 74 21
270 You were right about declawing. 1.3874 0.03567 302 207 73 22
271 He can’t wait until the Roomba is fixed 1.3872 0.03577 297 203 73 21
272 99 cats without claws on a ball, 99 cats without claws... 1.3872 0.03640 297 205 69 23
273 You were right, the kitty pool is much more fun 1.3849 0.03832 265 183 62 20
274 Having tired of the box, Schrödinger’s cat discovered it could, in fact, be both on the ball and not on at all on the ball. 1.3844 0.03878 294 211 53 30
275 No, he’s yours in the divorce 1.3844 0.03663 294 204 67 23
276 "Oh, we found him at the Cirque d'Soleil shelter." 1.3844 0.03694 294 205 65 24
277 $@*% superglue. 1.3844 0.03757 294 207 61 26
278 Don't worry, the one she jumps for gets her in the divorce settlement. 1.3844 0.03566 294 201 73 20
279 We really should go to AA. 1.3844 0.03534 294 200 75 19
280 Wait, do you see the cat, too? 1.3836 0.03647 292 202 68 22
281 Whoa! That was some serious 'nip that dude sold me! 1.3836 0.03582 292 200 72 20
282 Drunken Cat Tossing Still more interesting than nearly every Nicholas Cage movie. 1.3836 0.03743 292 205 62 25
283 Save me from these white people 1.3836 0.03867 292 209 54 29
284 Linda's daily horoscope said 'happiness is a balancing cat', and the horoscope was never wrong. 1.3828 0.03823 290 206 57 27
285 Wait until my sister and her stupid talking dog get a load of this. 1.3819 0.03746 288 202 62 24
286 Once we master this, let’s start having difficult conversations about race. 1.3819 0.03714 288 201 64 23
287 I think we are definitely ready to have kids. 1.3819 0.03873 288 206 54 28
288 Whiskers decided to let them have their fun. For now. 1.3813 0.03668 278 191 68 19
289 Well at least the cat's having a ball. 1.3811 0.03764 286 201 61 24
290 I don't know why they say that cats are antisocial. 1.3811 0.03422 286 191 81 14
291 People...so easily amused. 1.3811 0.03796 286 202 59 25
292 This could just be the Absinthe but do you also see a beach ball under the cat we're throwing to each other?" 1.3811 0.03828 286 203 57 26
293 Mittens was going back and forth on whether licking their toothbrushes would be adequate payback. 1.3803 0.03781 284 200 60 24
294 The first to drop the ball into the water dies. 1.3803 0.04005 284 207 46 31
295 excuse me, I'm sitting here. 1.3794 0.03733 282 197 63 22
296 First the hot tin roof and now this? 1.3794 0.03800 282 199 59 24
297 I should have knocked the bottle over. 1.3794 0.03699 282 196 65 21
298 If I fall in the water, I promise that both of you will wish you had declawed me! 1.3794 0.03800 282 199 59 24
299 I wish you were dog people.” 1.3786 0.03917 280 201 52 27
300 Let's do the dog next! 1.3786 0.03646 280 193 68 19
301 I'll be glad when baseball is back on TV. 1.3786 0.03716 280 195 64 21
302 And without warning or fanfare, "kitty-ball" was born. 1.3786 0.03681 280 194 66 20
303 I think he was happier when it was just him and the Roomba. 1.3786 0.03884 280 200 54 26
304 Only four feet between us. Don't tell Cuomo. 1.3786 0.03818 280 198 58 24
305 She still ignores us! 1.3786 0.03750 280 196 62 22
306 I hate it when they drink! 1.3784 0.04647 185 130 40 15
307 I know you like wet pussy. 1.3777 0.03970 278 201 49 28
308 week 75 1.3777 0.04052 233 162 54 17
309 You guys should’ve stuck to making sourdough bread. 1.3774 0.03748 265 183 64 18
310 You're right, it IS a lot easier without the dog. 1.3759 0.03550 274 186 73 15
311 And then I saw those ads for CBD oil for cats, and I thought, ‘Why not? Can’t hurt.’ 1.3750 0.03788 272 191 60 21
312 If I waste even one life on this... 1.3750 0.03859 272 193 56 23
313 This new glue seems to really work 1.3750 0.03823 272 192 58 22
314 White people are so weird. 1.3750 0.03806 272 194 55 23
315 ... and then if the cat falls into the pool, you DRINK! 1.3750 0.03928 272 195 52 25
316 I’ll pass on my 9th life. 1.3750 0.03547 272 187 69 16
317 Is this really what they do in Florida? 1.3750 0.03961 248 174 55 19
318 Ooooh! One more reason to wish the end of humanity on Earth... 1.3750 0.03752 272 190 62 20
319 He insists on making sure we stay 6 feet apart. 1.3750 0.03788 272 191 60 21
320 That's some strong glue. 1.3750 0.04163 272 202 38 32
321 Don't worry, he'll land on his feet. 1.3741 0.03788 270 192 56 22
322 My boyfriends usually play with my pussy before I play with their balls, but both at the same time is great. 1.3741 0.04051 270 197 45 28
323 Hey Stephanie, let's try it without the ball this time. 1.3731 0.03788 268 188 60 20
324 I'm glad we de-clawed him. 1.3731 0.03751 268 187 62 19
325 He's not so indifferent now, is he? 1.3731 0.03599 268 183 70 15
326 Just have a kid, already! 1.3722 0.03732 266 185 63 18
327 Quarantine. Day 156. After consuming seven bottles of Chardonnay in two hours, we failed to cure the virus. However, we solved the quandry of levitation and impressed the dog. 1.3722 0.03881 266 189 55 22
328 And they said you can't train them. 1.3722 0.03769 266 186 61 19
329 I guess it’s a good thing we didn’t become parents.” 1.3722 0.03881 266 189 55 22
330 So tonight the rule is we drink every time she falls in. 1.3722 0.03953 266 191 51 24
331 I have heard of the Catskills but this is different 1.3717 0.03849 269 191 56 22
332 I better be in the will. 1.3712 0.03788 264 185 60 19
333 Nonsense, he looks more relaxed already. 1.3712 0.03633 264 181 68 15
334 Careful Carl, don't get my pussy wet. 1.3712 0.03730 264 196 43 25
335 It helps him forget he's neutered." 1.3712 0.03633 264 181 68 15
336 I should have left this house on January 1st, when they decided to get rid of their TV set because it was election year... 1.3702 0.03845 262 185 57 20
337 Amazing—she still won’t come to either one of us. 1.3702 0.03768 262 183 61 18
338 What a relief! I have to be honest, I was a little nervous when your profile said you that enjoyed playing with feline inflatables. 1.3702 0.03729 262 182 63 17
339 What cats do when the Roomba is no longer a thrill ride. 1.3702 0.03845 262 185 57 20
340 Sure he acts stand-offish at first, but really he loves to be the center of attention. 1.3698 0.03661 265 183 66 16
341 Say goodbye to your precious cushions you ungrateful owners 1.3692 0.03940 260 186 52 22
342 Fluffy was enjoying the quarantine less and less. 1.3692 0.03707 260 180 64 16
343 I need a drink more than they do. 1.3692 0.03902 260 185 54 21
344 "I love how the couple's therapist gave us a task that also honors our relationship with Fluffy." 1.3692 0.03626 260 178 68 14
345 Wouldn’t it be more fun if we had a seal instead? 1.3692 0.03940 260 186 52 22
346 Better here than a hot tin roof.” 1.3692 0.03747 260 181 62 17
347 Mr. Whiskers contemplated legal action, while Dick and Jane vainly sought YouTube stardom. 1.3692 0.03747 260 181 62 17
348 Goat yoga was so passé ! 1.3691 0.03995 233 163 54 16
349 Suddenly, and all too sadly, Sebastian came to realize the true purpose of his being declawed. 1.3682 0.03203 258 182 63 13
350 For no reason whatsoever, the cat stopped using the litter box. 1.3672 0.03864 256 182 53 20
351 I guess they're waiting for me to do something they can put on youtube. Well I'm not playing. 1.3667 0.04721 180 129 36 15
352 I’ll set it. You spike it. 1.3661 0.03844 254 179 57 18
353 The trick is to keep your eye on the cat, not the ball. 1.3661 0.03678 254 175 65 14
354 Just another thing that never would have made sense before quarantine. 1.3658 0.03969 257 185 50 22
355 Trust me, I saw it on TikTok. 1.3651 0.03863 252 178 56 18
356 I picked the wrong quarantine bubble. 1.3640 0.03671 250 172 65 13
357 At least it's safer than the bulldog on the pool noodle. 1.3640 0.03883 250 177 55 18
358 What a fun way to teach the cat not to dig her claws into things. 1.3640 0.03714 250 173 63 14
359 Unfazed by its previous life/death, Schrödinger's cat ventures into its next quantum phase. 1.3629 0.03986 248 178 50 20
360 No, no—he loves it up there! 1.3618 0.03838 246 173 57 16
361 Let's drink some wine, they said. It'll be fun, they said... 1.3618 0.03661 246 169 65 12
362 Later tonight when they are asleep I will demonstrate that a beach ball does not have nine lives. 1.3618 0.03966 246 176 51 19
363 He's just pretending he doesn't see us. 1.3618 0.03751 246 171 61 14
364 Look honey, he really likes this! 1.3618 0.03616 246 168 67 11
365 At that moment, Fluffy wondered if Wine Wednesday wasn't getting a little out of hand. 1.3607 0.03188 244 173 60 11
366 Will they ever go back to work? 1.3607 0.04029 244 176 48 20
367 He'll never let us know he's having a good time. 1.3607 0.03814 244 171 58 15
368 Well, one good thing about the quarantine — we haven't seen that witch mother of yours. 1.3607 0.03814 244 171 58 15
369 He'll do anything to avoid getting wet 1.3607 0.03725 244 169 62 13
370 Quarantine Day 100 1.3600 0.04127 225 161 47 17
371 Oh, he actually likes it...it's Marco Polo that drives him crazy. 1.3595 0.03922 242 172 53 17
372 I feel like there's a physics joke here somewhere 1.3584 0.03865 226 157 57 12
373 I said a ball of yarn. 1.3583 0.03808 240 168 58 14
374 No, that‘s also his happy face. 1.3583 0.03854 240 169 56 15
375 Kitty's never going to knock Mama's drink off the table again, is he. 1.3571 0.04139 238 174 43 21
376 How did the cat adoption paperwork not pre-screen for this? 1.3562 0.03833 233 163 57 13
377 Your cat always comes between us! 1.3562 0.03943 219 153 54 12
378 Why do they never leave? 1.3547 0.03915 234 166 53 15
379 „Using my claws in 3, 2, 1.“ 1.3547 0.03915 234 166 53 15
380 Sacrificing my dignity, once again 1.3547 0.03868 234 165 55 14
381 How much longer do you think he’s going to make us do this? 1.3547 0.04007 234 168 49 17
382 Cat On A Sot Ginned Spoof. 1.3547 0.03961 234 167 51 16
383 You’re right. This IS a lot easier after cocktails. 1.3547 0.03915 234 166 53 15
384 Cats can't swim? Fake news. 1.3547 0.03915 234 171 45 18
385 I'd rather have a hair ball. 1.3547 0.03820 234 164 57 13
386 Fluffy's lockdown took a sudden turn for the worse. 1.3547 0.04007 234 168 49 17
387 Its your cat, no, it's your cat! 1.3547 0.03961 234 167 51 16
388 Sure wish I wasn't declawed. 1.3547 0.03961 234 167 51 16
389 And that was the last time Craig ever told a wet pussy joke... 1.3544 0.04104 237 173 44 20
390 This is your idea of a threesome? 1.3534 0.03936 232 165 52 15
391 I can’t believe we never thought of this before. 1.3534 0.03936 232 165 52 15
392 I should have stayed at the animal shelter. 1.3534 0.04076 232 168 46 18
393 Sometimes pussy enjoys being on top. 1.3534 0.04121 232 169 44 19
394 If I didn't have that catnip addiction, I'd never put up with this. 1.3534 0.03936 232 165 52 15
395 I saw it on TikTok, it’s called the furball challenge 1.3532 0.03993 235 169 49 17
396 ...so I said to my ex, "Who's the crazy cat lady now?". 1.3532 0.03947 235 168 51 16
397 New Yorker: Try to draw something non-political, non-controversial, and non-COVID themed. Cartoonist: . 1.3529 0.03958 238 171 50 17
398 Despite their divorce, the couple found a way to stay ready for the volleyball season, share their cat, and socially distance. 1.3522 0.04099 230 167 45 18
399 Mittens was beginning to remember why he typically gave Nance and Dennis a wide berth when they cracked a bottle of Rioja. 1.3522 0.04145 230 168 43 19
400 Whiskers wondered if anyone else ever felt like an insignificant speck, floating along on a big, bouncy ball.... 1.3522 0.04099 230 167 45 18
401 This is our last cat, so let’s try to get a streak of twenty. 1.3522 0.04190 230 169 41 20
402 Letting him out of the bag was the best decision I ever made. 1.3522 0.04052 230 166 47 17
403 Still suffering from PTSD, Schrodinger's cat engaged in other self-destructive behavior. 1.3522 0.03909 230 163 53 14
404 I want my claws back. 1.3522 0.03957 230 164 51 15
405 Gin and catatonic. 1.3522 0.04324 230 172 35 23
406 One of us is not enjoying this. 1.3522 0.03760 230 160 59 11
407 The goldfish are loving this. 1.3522 0.03909 230 163 53 14
408 Please fix their WiFi already 1.3509 0.03930 228 162 52 14
409 Oh the ball just came with it 1.3509 0.03880 228 161 54 13
410 I wonder who’s cat this is. 1.3509 0.04027 228 164 48 16
411 All my ex-husbands dropped the ball. 1.3509 0.03979 228 163 50 15
412 That adhesive is working really well. 1.3509 0.03779 228 159 58 11
413 I thought that the vet was exaggerating when she said that Fluffy had a hemorrhoid as big as a beachball 1.3509 0.04350 228 171 34 23
414 Oh, you can see the cat, too? 1.3509 0.03649 228 161 53 12
415 ...and if the cat falls in the water, it’s called a scratch! 1.3509 0.03979 228 163 50 15
416 He hates people for some reason. 1.3509 0.03930 228 162 52 14
417 Maybe it’s the wine, but this ball seems a lot heavier. 1.3496 0.04001 226 162 49 15
418 She always has to be the center of attention." 1.3496 0.04001 226 162 49 15
419 THE LAST KNOWN PHOTO OF FRITZ THE CAT. WITH FORMER OWNERS GRACE AND GEORGE. 1.3496 0.04239 226 167 39 20
420 Someone wants attention. 1.3496 0.04098 226 164 45 17
421 His balance is good, but if we are going to be competitive, he is going to need a better stage presence. 1.3496 0.03667 226 158 58 10
422 Well, at least one of us is on the ball. 1.3496 0.03901 226 160 53 13
423 Now remember, every time you drop the cat in the pool, you have to take a drink. 1.3496 0.02747 226 173 40 13
424 Don’t worry, he’ll only use his claws if he falls on your head. 1.3496 0.04049 226 163 47 16
425 How was I to know the dog couldn't swim? 1.3484 0.04161 221 161 43 17
426 No masks and no conscience. 1.3484 0.04161 221 161 43 17
427 This will keep him off the kitchen counter. 1.3484 0.04061 221 159 47 15
428 And you said cats weren’t fun. 1.3484 0.03689 221 152 61 8
429 I fear that this could end catastrophically. 1.3484 0.04061 221 159 47 15
430 schrodinger's catch 1.3484 0.04161 221 161 43 17
431 Humans are so easy to entertain. 1.3482 0.03819 224 157 56 11
432 Oh look she woke up from her nap. 1.3482 0.03973 224 160 50 14
433 As if this day could get any worse. 1.3482 0.03871 224 158 54 12
434 It’s called ‘Russian Blue’ Roulette 1.3482 0.03998 224 163 45 16
435 When will they go back to work. 1.3470 0.04032 219 157 48 14
436 you people need a job 1.3470 0.04084 219 158 46 15
437 See? He likes it. 1.3470 0.03819 219 153 56 10
438 Rasputin’s well-documented fear of water was exceeded only by his fear of missing out. 1.3470 0.04084 219 158 46 15
439 One bottle of wine later, “conference call stat” was quickly translated into “beach ball cat” 1.3470 0.04185 219 160 42 17
440 Now, I want you to sit up there and think about what you did. 1.3470 0.03927 219 155 52 12
441 Why some pets would prefer a shelter in place of shelter in place 1.3470 0.04333 219 163 36 20
442 Let’s take this up a notch, shall we? ... Can you teach her to do a handstand 1.3470 0.01809 219 166 46 7
443 if these people don't go back to work... 1.3470 0.04381 219 164 34 21
444 Should we stop drinking or is that a cat sitting on the beach ball? 1.3470 0.04084 219 160 43 16
445 And Mookie found himself wondering once again when their offices would ever re-open. 1.3470 0.04084 219 158 46 15
446 Aren't you glad we had Mr. Fluffles stuffed? He's still playing with us! 1.3470 0.04135 219 159 44 16
447 How is this any less scary than the vacuum cleaner? 1.3470 0.04135 219 159 44 16
448 Maybe we should make this our last glass of wine... 1.3470 0.03444 219 164 41 14
449 It's so refreshing now that things are finally getting back to normal. 1.3470 0.03980 219 156 50 13
450 This isn't what I imagined when I got your text! 1.3468 0.04096 222 161 45 16
451 Remember when stuff was normal? 1.3468 0.03785 222 155 57 10
452 The gravity of the situation suddenly dawned on Felix. 1.3456 0.04002 217 155 49 13
453 I’ve always social distanced. Figure it out for yourselves. 1.3456 0.04002 217 155 49 13
454 Think we’ll regret this in the morning? 1.3456 0.04002 217 155 49 13
455 See, much easier than with the baby.... 1.3456 0.04210 217 159 41 17
456 After another glass, let's try it with two. 1.3456 0.04002 217 160 41 16
457 This is nothing. You should see what he can do with a unicycle and a bagpipe. 1.3456 0.03169 217 161 45 11
458 Her core strength IS amazing! 1.3455 0.03912 220 156 52 12
459 ...on second thought, that hot tin roof wasn't so bad... 1.3442 0.04025 215 154 48 13
460 I have to say, pets have really helped fill in the void now that we can't have anyone over. 1.3442 0.03803 215 150 56 9
461 See! Her penchant for possessiveness far outweighs her fear of getting wet! 1.3429 0.06176 105 78 18 9
462 At once, the cat was both alive and dead inside 1.3427 0.04209 213 156 41 16
463 This is a lot more fun since we had him de-clawed. 1.3427 0.03880 213 150 53 10
464 She's agreeing to this in exchange for total access to the nubby curtains in the family room. 1.3427 0.04048 213 153 47 13
465 Nine lives....Eight lives..... 1.3426 0.04115 216 157 44 15
466 It took a pandemic and a stay-at-home order, but finally my humans are fully trained 1.3425 0.04127 219 160 43 16
467 Make a cat video, they said. It will be fun. It will go viral... 1.3425 0.04227 219 162 39 18
468 Fluffy has been a lot calmer since she showed an interest in gin! 1.3425 0.04277 219 163 37 19
469 I repeat, when do you two go back to work? 1.3412 0.03958 211 150 50 11
470 That moment when you remember you have an assignment due at 11:59p.m. 1.3412 0.04180 211 154 42 15
471 Note for life #9: steer clear of pools 1.3410 0.03940 217 155 50 12
472 ‘And today’s word is CATapult’ 1.3410 0.04202 217 160 40 17
473 This thing must have a hole in it because I hear hissing every time I toss it 1.3410 0.04099 217 158 44 15
474 He’s a real pool cat. 1.3410 0.04401 217 164 32 21
475 He's doing so well on the new medication! 1.3410 0.03802 217 155 51 11
476 The vet said he needed more exercise.... 1.3410 0.03601 217 149 62 6
477 And for this I had to be declawed? 1.3410 0.03994 217 156 48 13
478 I told you the de-clawing would be worth it. 1.3410 0.03994 217 156 48 13
479 Tim, you may want to put on a shirt! 1.3410 0.03994 217 156 48 13
480 Precious, we will get back to work one of these days. In the mean time, isn't it fun having us home all the time? 1.3410 0.03940 217 155 50 12
481 It seems I am the glue holding this relationship together. 1.3410 0.03830 217 153 54 10
482 It was either this or the laser pointer. 1.3397 0.03981 209 149 49 11
483 I always wondered what a catbird seat was. 1.3397 0.03922 209 148 51 10
484 I told you he’d play ball with us. 1.3397 0.04094 209 151 45 13
485 It was at that moment Whiskers realized something had gone horribly wrong. 1.3396 0.03799 212 156 43 13
486 You’re freakin meowt. 1.3394 0.04135 218 160 42 16
487 Shouldn't we all be wearing masks? 1.3390 0.04591 177 130 34 13
488 Taking a nap on the giant ball revealed itself to be a bad idea. 1.3389 0.04537 180 132 35 13
489 I think I prefer the Roomba. 1.3382 0.04118 207 150 44 13
490 He does this when I try to read the newspaper, too. 1.3382 0.04231 207 152 40 15
491 White people doing things. 1.3382 0.04175 207 151 42 14
492 Yes, I’m thinking. They’re drinking. Soon I’ll be sinking. 1.3382 0.04003 207 148 48 11
493 Why are humans such idiots? 1.3382 0.04032 207 151 43 13
494 He's having a blast - don't let him fool you. 1.3373 0.04486 166 119 38 9
495 Yet another evening sacrificed to keep their marriage alive. 1.3366 0.03966 205 146 49 10
496 I don’t think this is what Schrödinger had in mind! 1.3366 0.03552 205 152 42 11
497 Does this feel heavier than usual? 1.3366 0.04026 205 147 47 11
498 Focus Don't use your claws, don't use your claws... ohmm 1.3366 0.04313 205 152 37 16
499 Enjoy yourselves now. I'll be leaving a "treat" in your bed later...s 1.3366 0.04313 205 152 37 16
500 Well who knew cat sitting could be so much fun? . 1.3366 0.04026 205 147 47 11
501 Please let this be match point. 1.3366 0.03966 205 146 49 10
502 The vet said he should be having more fun in quarantine. 1.3366 0.04085 205 148 45 12
503 This is the quickest way to get through all 9 1.3366 0.04085 205 148 45 12
504 No claw! No claw! Claw means water. So, no claw! NO CLAW! 1.3366 0.04200 205 150 41 14
505 I think he likes it. 1.3366 0.03781 205 143 55 7
506 Uncanny how, no matter how you hit the ball, he stays on top! 1.3366 0.03843 205 144 53 8
507 The tranquilizars help. 1.3366 0.03781 205 143 55 7
508 I think it was more fun ,when we used the dog 1.3366 0.04200 205 150 41 14
509 I'm going to pee on the new oriental if I get wet. 1.3366 0.04143 205 149 43 13
510 Watch him land on his feet. 1.3366 0.04257 205 151 39 15
511 See? You can teach old cats new tricks. 1.3366 0.04143 205 149 43 13
512 I'm SO glad we didn't get an indoor cat. 1.3366 0.04200 205 150 41 14
513 Let’s see if she likes some spin 1.3350 0.03988 203 145 48 10
514 I began to feel resigned to my fate, and as I gazed outwardly at the world, felt a calming complacency come over me. It was at this juncture that I knew all of the moments interspersed throughout my life were connected by the same divinity that gave it meaning. I saw the craftsmanship of a just God shine through as clear as day, and knew with a firm certainty what I had to do: murder the family that had decided at last they would bathe me by shuffling me back and forth on a beachball. They would die and through this, I would be born again. 1.3333 0.04265 204 151 38 15
515 The editor said «  not good enough, put a cat in it » 1.3333 0.04193 201 147 41 13
516 These two really need to get out more. 1.3333 0.03885 201 142 51 8
517 Can’t wait til these idiots go back to their offices 1.3333 0.04367 201 150 35 16
518 If only he’d been this much fun in life. 1.3333 0.04367 201 150 35 16
519 The vet says this is good for his core 1.3333 0.04032 204 147 46 11
520 The shelter said she needs some time to get used to things. 1.3333 0.04011 201 144 47 10
521 As I said, she's part of a remarkably stable genus. 1.3333 0.04133 201 146 43 12
522 When I said I had a fur ball, this isn't what I meant. 1.3333 0.04072 201 145 45 11
523 There's no way this could possibly go wrong! 1.3333 0.04113 198 143 44 11
524 One wet pussy coming up! 1.3333 0.04310 201 149 37 15
525 Fred, I think we’ve started a new happy hour tradition. 1.3333 0.04052 207 149 45 12
526 Reminds me of Spring Break during Veterinary school! 1.3333 0.04193 201 147 41 13
527 Marco..... 1.3317 0.03895 205 146 50 9
528 You're right, this is the perfect metaphor for marriage. 1.3317 0.04133 205 150 42 13
529 I said, "I'd like a new cat toy. Not, I am the new cat toy." 1.3317 0.04292 202 150 37 15
530 Think of how much he’d have hated it if we left him at the kitty motel. 1.3317 0.02207 202 150 48 4
531 You guys don’t get out much, do ya. 1.3317 0.04116 202 147 43 12
532 Professor McGonnagal immediately regretted her decision to attend JK Rowling’s pool party. 1.3317 0.04460 202 153 31 18
533 Nothing fazes him. He's catatonic. 1.3317 0.03932 202 144 49 9
534 He's successfully balancing his fear of the water with his normally aloof demeanor. 1.3317 0.03994 202 145 47 10
535 Unfortunately for the Schroeders, Trixie later rewarded their antics by dropping a live electrical cable into the pool. 1.3317 0.04405 202 152 33 17
536 Oh, what do you prefer to do on a first date? 1.3317 0.03739 202 141 55 6
537 and we thought we'd run out of things to do in quarantine 1.3317 0.04292 202 150 37 15
538 I’m an indoor cat. I’m an indoor cat. 1.3317 0.03840 199 140 52 7
539 It's just too bad Letterman retired. 1.3317 0.04096 199 144 44 11
540 And you thought passing a HAIRBALL was tough! 1.3317 0.04509 199 151 30 18
541 He loves it! Can’t you tell he loves it? 1.3313 0.04711 166 123 31 12
542 The Wallendas' cat is amazing! 1.3300 0.04140 200 146 42 12
543 Sure, try out for the chat du soleil, they said. 1.3299 0.04365 197 147 35 15
544 ‘Wonder if I could quarantine with the neighbors from now on.’ 1.3299 0.04057 197 142 45 10
545 I’m ready to see how she does on the Frisbee. 1.3299 0.04482 197 149 31 17
546 She usually sits on the TV. 1.3299 0.04183 197 144 41 12
547 #48 of 100 fun games and new hobbies to try while 'socially isolating'. 1.3299 0.04057 197 142 45 10
548 Yeah, cats are supposed to have a great sense of balance, but man, this is amazing. 1.3299 0.04305 197 146 37 14
549 You are right! Somehow the cat always ends up on top! 1.3299 0.04365 197 147 35 15
550 Don’t worry- he has eight more 1.3299 0.03793 197 138 53 6
551 Let's make it best 5 out of 9! 1.3299 0.04120 197 143 43 11
552 This works a lot better with the ball 1.3299 0.04120 197 143 43 11
553 He's fantasizing that we're Siegfried and Roy 1.3299 0.03993 197 141 47 9
554 Quarantine day #96: Humans are now so drunk that they haven’t noticed there is a ball beneath me. 1.3299 0.04244 197 145 39 13
555 This is not the foreplay I had imagined 1.3299 0.03927 197 143 45 9
556 How much more wine can we drink before she falls off? 1.3299 0.02671 197 149 41 7
557 I guess I just assumed a ‘Maine Coon Beach Ball’ was a cocktail or something? 1.3299 0.05993 97 71 20 6
558 Pickles has gotten used to being with us all of the time. 1.3299 0.06169 97 72 18 7
559 I think we're ready for America's Got Talent. 1.3282 0.04145 195 142 42 11
560 In the winter he prefers curling. 1.3281 0.04317 192 142 37 13
561 These trust exercises are getting out of hand. 1.3264 0.04038 193 139 45 9
562 It's not equanimity or sangfroid, he's planning his retribution. 1.3264 0.04234 193 142 39 12
563 Do you think the cat notices that we're home home often now? 1.3263 0.04147 190 138 42 10
564 Knowing he had a few lives left, Felix decided to let loose. 1.3263 0.04214 190 139 40 11
565 Do you think she likes this more or that time we accidentally left her on top of the car on the way to the Hamptons. 1.3263 0.04408 190 142 34 14
566 You seem to enjoy playing with my pussy 1.3263 0.04344 190 141 36 13
567 they will soon tire of this and it will be mine 1.3263 0.06068 95 70 19 6
568 I am really tired of writing punch lines for the New Yorker without getting paid! Is the magazine in financial trouble? Or are they just cheapskates? 1.3263 0.04532 190 144 30 16
569 Four Covid-19 recommendations: Socially distance, adopt pet, get exercise, drink heavily. 1.3263 0.04532 190 144 30 16
570 Who says cats aren't as fun as dogs?! 1.3263 0.04080 190 137 44 9
571 Ken, next time put some spin on it! 1.3263 0.04147 190 138 42 10
572 I will pee in their wine 1.3246 0.04195 191 140 40 11
573 First it was binge watching Tiger King. And now this. 1.3246 0.04388 191 143 34 14
574 I’m so glad I picked the ‘Lovers of Retired Circus Cats’ package. 1.3246 0.04261 191 141 38 12
575 How did we end up in the kitty pool again!? 1.3246 0.04195 191 140 40 11
576 What it feels like being an independent voter 1.3245 0.04307 188 139 37 12
577 I'm so glad we decided not to have kids, imagine doing this with a baby 1.3245 0.04307 188 139 37 12
578 Muffy concluded the new batch of catnip was a little too potent. 1.3245 0.04307 188 139 37 12
579 His Roomba cross-training has really paid off! 1.3245 0.04034 188 135 45 8
580 He's an adrenaline junky. 1.3245 0.04173 188 137 41 10
581 This would be a lot more fun without the ball. 1.3245 0.04173 188 137 41 10
582 Frustrated by Divorce Court delay, the Peters play a Drinking Game to determine custody of their cat. 1.3232 0.04572 164 121 33 10
583 Trust me, the rules will make much more sense when you’re drunk. 1.3232 0.04653 164 122 31 11
584 Get some humans they said, it will be fun they said. 1.3228 0.04221 189 139 39 11
585 I thought he was YOUR cat. 1.3228 0.04086 189 137 43 9
586 Her profile said she likes cats, swimming, and water sports. 1.3226 0.04128 186 135 42 9
587 It was then, that Steve the cat thought all humans should die. 1.3226 0.04198 186 136 40 10
588 Quarantine has been a whole new ball game. 1.3211 0.04202 190 140 39 11
589 See? It’s both a particle AND a wave 1.3211 0.03313 190 148 31 11
590 Drinking does make this more fun.” 1.3211 0.03928 190 136 47 7
591 Obviously, game is to nine. 1.3211 0.04136 190 139 41 10
592 My cat? I thought it was your cat! 1.3211 0.04068 190 138 43 9
593 See, if you believe strongly enough in Trump, logic just flies out the window. 1.3211 0.04268 190 141 37 12
594 Jerry, you think the cat's having a ball? 1.3209 0.04315 187 139 36 12
595 After 3 months of quarantine, Buster gives in 1.3209 0.03627 187 137 43 7
596 Why did liquor stores have to be considered an essential business? -The Cat 1.3209 0.04510 187 142 30 15
597 And you wonder why I throw up!! Cheers john 1.3209 0.04446 187 141 32 14
598 Let's play tennis with him tomorrow. 1.3209 0.03894 187 133 48 6
599 The heck with wine, let’s smoke the catnip! 1.3209 0.04381 187 140 34 13
600 I told you he'd love it. 1.3209 0.03967 187 134 46 7
601 I just couldn't tell him he'd been neutered. 1.3209 0.04315 187 139 36 12
602 Gotta stop hitting the catnip this early in the day. 1.3209 0.04179 187 137 40 10
603 Screw PETA, this is fun! 1.3209 0.04179 187 137 40 10
604 Honey, I've never understood why cats think that they are smarter than people. 1.3209 0.04247 187 138 38 11
605 From now on, Charlie, this is what happens every time you tip over the goldfish bowl. 1.3209 0.04247 187 138 38 11
606 Loser gets her in the divorce. 1.3209 0.04247 187 138 38 11
607 Quarantine’s got us ALL trying new things! 1.3207 0.04153 184 134 41 9
608 The usually disinterested Whiskers decided to perform the balance-on-moving-ball trick ironically after noting that Ken and Debra did not have their cell phones near the pool and nobody on social media would believe them. He wore his trademark "if I cared I would hate you" expression throughout the exercise. 1.3207 0.04224 184 135 39 10
609 Work / Life balance, they said. 1.3207 0.04497 184 139 31 14
610 The Schrödinger cat is simultaneously flying on a giant ball and drowned in a pool 1.3207 0.04497 184 139 31 14
611 This is not a vacation 1.3207 0.04008 184 132 45 7
612 David, is there anything else we can add to this picture to show my followers how much fun we're having staying at home? 1.3207 0.04224 184 135 39 10
613 When it pops, run like hell! 1.3207 0.04153 184 139 33 12
614 These days, I have do anything to keep them entertained. 1.3207 0.04294 184 136 37 11
615 Why can’t they ever draw us doing something normal. 1.3207 0.04430 184 138 33 13
616 Give Kitty another drink, honey. 1.3207 0.04294 184 136 37 11
617 Wouldn't he prefer a hot tin roof? 1.3207 0.02888 184 139 39 6
618 Winning couples advance to the Porcupine Semifinals. 1.3207 0.04627 184 141 27 16
619 Now will you reconsider your plans to shred the couch? 1.3207 0.04153 184 134 41 9
620 Great,now I'm an actual fur ball. 1.3207 0.04224 184 135 39 10
621 We're crushing it on empty nesting. 1.3207 0.04008 184 132 45 7
622 Wait, what the hell are we doing? 1.3207 0.03895 184 133 44 7
623 I told you I hate water. 1.3207 0.04008 184 132 45 7
624 I could use a little distancing too. 1.3207 0.04294 184 136 37 11
625 The meditation classes are really helping her focus. 1.3207 0.04362 184 137 35 12
626 Tell me when to press paws. 1.3207 0.04153 184 134 41 9
627 How do you like not being in control for a change? Huh? 1.3207 0.04430 184 138 33 13
628 pas de chat 1.3207 0.04224 184 135 39 10
629 It's not that amazing. Cats hate water. 1.3207 0.04497 184 139 31 14
630 The article said it's good to plan at-home activities that include the whole family. 1.3207 0.04153 184 134 41 9
631 Will they ever get back to the office? 1.3207 0.04224 184 135 39 10
632 Beats cat on a hot tin roof any day. 1.3207 0.04497 184 139 31 14
633 So the goal of this game is pretty simple... 1.3190 0.04237 163 117 40 6
634 Explain the rules again. When the cat falls of do we drink or run? 1.3189 0.04274 185 137 37 11
635 I wish they’d just neutered me. 1.3187 0.04460 182 137 32 13
636 Felix longed for the days when people considered themselves a dog person. 1.3187 0.04460 182 137 32 13
637 When are they going back to work? 1.3187 0.04321 182 135 36 11
638 Enjoy your little game now humans. Tomorrow you will be playing furball slalom in the living room. 1.3187 0.04659 182 140 26 16
639 I told you he was a real party animal. 1.3187 0.04356 182 138 31 13
640 He prefers it to the hot tin roof. 1.3187 0.04179 182 133 40 9
641 If you told me before the quarantine that we could teach her this… 1.3187 0.04251 182 134 38 10
642 Oh she's not scared. That's her resting "I hate you /when's dinner' face. 1.3187 0.04321 182 135 36 11
643 Schrodinger's Cat with a twist: is she wet or dry? 1.3187 0.04594 182 139 28 15
644 I think my pussy may be getting wet if you keep doing that. 1.3187 0.04391 182 136 34 12
645 I'm warning you, hell hath no fury like a wet cat! 1.3187 0.04391 182 136 34 12
646 This is why I got declawed? 1.3187 0.04251 182 134 38 10
647 Now Hank! Don’t bring politics into this. You have to admit this is the best Covid idea the President has had since Monkey wrangling 1.3187 0.04391 182 136 34 12
648 Fluffy never paid much attention to Don and Janet’s silly drinking games, but he knew somehow this one would not end well! 1.3187 0.04031 182 131 44 7
649 See? If you paint his swollen testicle like a beach ball, no one can tell. 1.3187 0.04788 182 142 22 18
650 As Fluffy contemplated her future, she wondered how long access to gourmet kibble would render the Bernstein's indignities tolerable. 1.3187 0.04460 182 137 32 13
651 Lockdown was getting too much for Tiddles. 1.3187 0.04031 182 131 44 7
652 I really thought they'd just have a kid by now. 1.3187 0.04391 182 136 34 12
653 I know I have 9 of them, but these white people are acting like this one doesn't matter. 1.3187 0.04179 182 133 40 9
654 Is this a bad time to tell you I'm more of a dog person? 1.3187 0.04179 182 133 40 9
655 CATVID-19 1.3184 0.04441 179 134 33 12
656 See, I told you - once he finds a good spot its possible to get him off! 1.3182 0.05193 132 99 24 9
657 When are they going back to work? I'm not their plaything. 1.3182 0.05081 132 98 26 8
658 So how should we include the dog? 1.3167 0.04420 180 134 33 12
659 So help me, I will be in the background for your next meeting. 1.3162 0.05516 117 88 21 8
660 We adopted him from the Barnum's 1.3150 0.05443 127 97 20 10
661 At that moment, Newton discovered a cat-sized hole in the theory of gravity. 1.3149 0.04604 181 139 27 15
662 Do all nine of my lives mean nothing to you, Karen!? 1.3149 0.04111 181 132 41 8
663 Claws in! Claws in! 1.3149 0.04185 181 133 39 9
664 He's a rescue- the poor guy had bounced from home to home before I adopted him 1.3149 0.04399 181 136 33 12
665 They don’t know in one of my other lives I was a seal. 1.3149 0.04399 181 136 33 12
666 She likes it and has eight lives to go if we miss. Stop worrying. 1.3149 0.04035 181 131 43 7
667 And you guarantee this will make her sleepy? 1.3149 0.04185 181 133 39 9
668 You take her! No, You take her! 1.3149 0.04111 181 132 41 8
669 Suddenly, Felix realized he may have to move. 1.3149 0.03550 181 135 39 7
670 Cats are so Zen. 1.3146 0.04155 178 130 40 8
671 Have fun now, cuz when you’re done, you’re both getting face tattoos. 1.3146 0.04520 178 135 30 13
672 It's his ball. 1.3146 0.04230 178 131 38 9
673 I’m so happy they added a kitty pool. 1.3146 0.04378 178 133 34 11
674 Muffin assumed she would be transported on a soft cushion, when the cat job ad said, "involves travel". 1.3143 0.04574 175 133 29 13
675 Fluffy, tiring of the game, contemplates taking her paw off the leak. 1.3121 0.04607 173 132 28 13
676 We were smart giving her swim lessons as a kitten. 1.3121 0.04305 173 128 36 9
677 Just pretend he’s not there. 1.3121 0.04533 173 131 30 12
678 Don't worry! We'll dry her off in the microwave. 1.3121 0.04820 173 135 22 16
679 I know you two haven’t been sleeping in the same bed. This isn’t the answer. 1.3103 0.04126 174 127 40 7
680 I just want to feel something 1.3103 0.04361 174 130 34 10
681 Life number two here I come. 1.3103 0.04284 174 129 36 9
682 Ignore him, he's just trying to get my attention 1.3103 0.04284 174 129 36 9
683 He'll just sit and pout until we feed him. 1.3103 0.04511 174 132 30 12
684 You did remember to trim his claws, right dear? 1.3103 0.04284 174 129 36 9
685 You know, I usually have a hard time reading Buttercup's emotions, but it's times like this when you can see how much she hates us. 1.3103 0.04284 174 129 36 9
686 One drink and they turn into animals. 1.3103 0.04361 174 130 34 10
687 OK, two lives to go! 1.3103 0.04436 174 131 32 11
688 Dear Covid-19, please send them back to work !” 1.3103 0.04436 174 131 32 11
689 I told you, he won’t budge till you feed him. 1.3103 0.04436 174 131 32 11
690 This isn't as much fun as sitting on the computer, is it Mittens? 1.3081 0.04232 172 127 37 8
691 This is nothing. The last childless marriage I saved I was shot out of a canon. 1.3081 0.04311 172 128 35 9
692 Who knew, hydroxychloroquine, alcohol and being rich and white gives you super powers. 1.3081 0.04466 172 130 31 11
693 Pandemic Olympics 1.3081 0.04109 172 128 36 8
694 Still better than children 1.3081 0.04068 172 125 41 6
695 Damn super glue. 1.3081 0.04616 172 132 27 13
696 The idea of the game is to see who can avoid getting their eyes scratched out after the ball explodes. 1.3081 0.04151 172 126 39 7
697 I say you're wrong, cats can learn to swim. 1.3081 0.04232 172 127 37 8
698 Don’t scare the cat or this game is over. 1.3081 0.04311 172 128 35 9
699 Dear lord, here we go again ... 1.3081 0.04466 172 130 31 11
700 It's his favorite way to cool off after spending the day on that tin roof! 1.3081 0.04311 172 128 35 9
701 As "Shelter in Place" progressed, Felix found himself wishing more and more for normal times 1.3081 0.04542 172 131 29 12
702 How did we not think of this before quarantine? 1.3081 0.04311 172 128 35 9
703 Meow-co polo. 1.3081 0.04761 172 134 23 15
704 Looks like the CBD oil did the trick. 1.3081 0.04311 172 128 35 9
705 And just like that, Penelope volunteered to help the Morrisons work through their “Empty Nest” despair. 1.3081 0.04232 172 127 37 8
706 We haven’t had wine in so long that I swear I see a cat riding this beach ball. 1.3081 0.04542 172 131 29 12
707 I want at least one of his lives to be memorable. 1.3081 0.04232 172 127 37 8
708 This sounded creepy over the phone but it turned out really fun. 1.3081 0.04151 172 129 36 7
709 Felix wonders what game his inebriated, quarantined owners will think of next. 1.3081 0.04389 172 129 33 10
710 You go “Me” and I’ll go “ow” 1.3081 0.04311 172 128 35 9
711 You were right, 'cat ball' is a lot more fun than goat yoga! 1.3081 0.04389 172 129 33 10
712 We should probably stop mixing the edibles with the merlot. 1.3077 0.04441 169 127 32 10
713 No, the sign specifically said no horseplay. 1.3077 0.04597 169 129 28 12
714 Niles ponders methods for summoning the murder hornets 1.3077 0.04520 169 128 30 11
715 Be careful, the second he takes his claws out of the ball, this game ends. 1.3077 0.04441 169 127 32 10
716 Wanting to maintain the appearance of dominance over the humans, Smuckers had no other option but to remain on the ball. 1.3077 0.04280 169 125 36 8
717 So glad we decided to taxidermy mr. whiskers to a beach ball. 1.3077 0.04520 169 128 30 11
718 This is so much more fun since we had him de-clawed. 1.3077 0.04361 169 126 34 9
719 Finally! A monetizable cat video! 1.3077 0.04361 169 126 34 9
720 I think you're taking this whole "cat sitting" thing too literally... 1.3077 0.04673 169 130 26 13
721 The healing power of pet therapy was being felt by almost everyone. 1.3077 0.04441 169 127 32 10
722 Come play with the ball, they said... 1.3077 0.04361 169 126 34 9
723 If he's willing to shelter at home with us, the least we can do is keep him entertained... 1.3077 0.04112 169 122 40 6
724 You can't train a cat. Your cat trains you. 1.3077 0.04196 169 124 38 7
725 See? I told you the Valium would do the trick! 1.3077 0.04441 169 127 32 10
726 Not again - this game ended my seventh life. 1.3077 0.04441 169 127 32 10
727 Just when I thought that humans couldn't get any stupider. Don't they know this is MY ball? 1.3077 0.04441 169 127 32 10
728 How did I get caught in the middle of these desperate attempts to save their marriage? 1.3077 0.04196 169 124 38 7
729 It's not what I envisioned when I said, "Some day you'll see me in The New Yorker." 1.3077 0.04512 156 116 32 8
730 I'm so happy you're not a dog person. 1.3066 0.04811 137 102 28 7
731 Quarantine Continues 1.3054 0.04630 167 128 27 12
732 And to think when you first proposed this, I was skeptical. 1.3054 0.04136 167 122 39 6
733 I told you Larry, I have to be close to my therapy cat at all times! 1.3054 0.04307 167 124 35 8
734 Just get the hell out of the pool if the kitty hits the water. 1.3054 0.04471 167 126 31 10
735 The cat thought of nothing but murder. 1.3054 0.04390 167 125 33 9
736 Easier than ending racism. 1.3054 0.04307 167 124 35 8
737 This one will make us Tik-Tok famous for sure. 1.3054 0.04307 167 124 35 8
738 Drunk and maskless in my litter box again. Who Screens these people at the pet adoption center? 1.3054 0.04307 167 124 35 8
739 PETA never mentions the upsides of declawing. 1.3054 0.04551 167 127 29 11
740 Just a few more, Bill. I'm dying to see what else she's eaten beside that mouse. 1.3054 0.04630 167 128 27 12
741 She coughed it up , so now she thinks it’s hers. 1.3054 0.04471 167 126 31 10
742 Bob and Carol’s big mistake: the cat is sober! 1.3054 0.04390 167 125 33 9
743 Who needs the Catskills when we have cat-skills? 1.3054 0.04390 167 125 33 9
744 Up until this very moment I didn't truly understand the Ancient Egyptians. 1.3054 0.04136 167 122 39 6
745 In the third month of lockdown, they remembered how to have fun. 1.3041 0.04317 171 128 34 9
746 Day drinking made them weird, but Felix did like the attention. 1.3041 0.04664 148 111 29 8
747 Super glue seems to be working this time! 1.3030 0.04663 165 127 26 12
748 Please go to work. Meow. 1.3030 0.04249 165 122 36 7
749 How many lives has it been so far? 1.3030 0.04663 165 127 26 12
750 No, silly! He loves it. He really does. He wouldn't sit up there if he didn't love it! What? I'm not durnk! You're drunnnk! Shhhhut up! You don't love me! Why do you always do thish? You rooooin it! I'M A HUMAN BEEEEING!! 1.3030 0.04742 165 128 24 13
751 Aren't you glad we didn't get the Labrador Retriever. 1.3030 0.04419 165 124 32 9
752 Cat Lives Matter 1.3025 0.04641 162 124 27 11
753 You did press 'record' on your phone, right? 1.3025 0.04473 162 122 31 9
754 She's usually asleep by now. 1.3025 0.04386 162 121 33 8
755 How many lives does Felix have left? 1.3025 0.04386 162 121 33 8
756 It'll be fine, she has nine lives. 1.3025 0.04116 162 118 39 5
757 Only eight left after this. 1.3025 0.04208 162 119 37 6
758 He always has to one-up the seal. 1.3025 0.04386 162 121 33 8
759 I wish they’d get a dog 1.3012 0.04396 166 125 32 9
760 Honey where’s the cat 1.3012 0.04140 166 122 38 6
761 She’s been practicing on the Roomba! 1.3006 0.04276 163 121 35 7
762 Finally, the cat is out of the bag. 1.3000 0.02704 160 127 27 6
763 You know how many likes we’ll get if we take a video of this, honey? 1.3000 0.04234 160 118 36 6
764 What could possibly go wrong? 1.3000 0.04675 160 123 26 11
765 Always needing to be the center of attention. 1.3000 0.04675 160 123 26 11
766 The vet said Fluffy should exercise more 1.3000 0.04140 160 117 38 5
767 I’d much rather be the cat in the hat 1.3000 0.04416 160 120 32 8
768 I’m the one who needs a drink! 😾 1.3000 0.04590 160 122 28 10
769 You can go back to work now. 1.3000 0.04326 160 119 34 7
770 They must have spiked their wine with my capnip again... 1.3000 0.04590 160 122 28 10
771 Just when I thought 2020 couldn’t be more of a CATastrophy! 1.3000 0.04590 160 122 28 10
772 Now, he's awake! 1.3000 0.03895 160 121 31 7
773 If he always looks grumpy, how are we supposed to know when he actually means it? 1.3000 0.03524 160 121 34 5
774 This sure beats a hot tin roof! 1.3000 0.04140 160 117 38 5
775 Honey, I think I almost saw Mr. Whiskers smile this time. 1.3000 0.04326 160 119 34 7
776 Psychologically, they’re my parents. 1.3000 0.04326 160 119 34 7
777 Mr. Whiskers would do anything to come between Marcy and her new boyfriend. 1.3000 0.04326 160 119 34 7
778 It’s only animal cruelty if Fluffy drowns. 1.3000 0.04675 160 123 26 11
779 This isn't what I meant when I said "play with me." 1.3000 0.04234 160 118 36 6
780 Milo must love having us work from home. 1.3000 0.04504 160 121 30 9
781 Yeah, he's a rescue. He's dealing with years of trauma. He won't shut up about it. 1.3000 0.04504 160 121 30 9
782 I thought they said hair ball, not air ball. 1.3000 0.04504 160 121 30 9
783 She was so bored with the feather. 1.3000 0.04416 160 120 32 8
784 I told you she'd be more fun than a dog 1.3000 0.04416 160 120 32 8
785 I can't believe they had my claws removed for this. 1.3000 0.04840 160 125 22 13
786 This wasn’t what I meant when I said I would be an emotional support pet. 1.3000 0.04675 160 123 26 11
787 I suppose this is better than the time he tried to stay in your lap on the elliptical machine. 1.3000 0.04326 160 119 33 7
788 I read it’s actually a myth that cats don’t like water. 1.3000 0.04416 160 120 32 8
789 I used to have a house cat, but pool cats are more fun. 1.3000 0.03995 160 118 37 5
790 Using his gravity control powers, Zen Kitty caused the ball to hover. 1.3000 0.04675 160 123 26 11
791 Without this he wouldn't get any exercise. 1.3000 0.04326 160 119 34 7
792 Seconds later, 'Sprinkles' ceased to exist and internet sensation 'Grumpy Cat' was born. 1.3000 0.03945 160 120 34 6
793 How I wish I was Schrodinger's cat 1.3000 0.04758 160 124 24 12
794 Wow. That crazy glue really works! 1.3000 0.04590 160 122 28 10
795 It's all fun and games until we fall asleep later. 1.3000 0.04234 160 118 36 6
796 Felix purrs nicely with wine but not a highball. 1.2975 0.04535 158 120 29 9
797 The day quarantine happy hour got seriously weird 1.2975 0.04535 158 120 29 9
798 I had the weirdest dream. I dreamed I was a cat, balancing on a ball being volleyed by two white people drinking wine. And, then.. 1.2975 0.04445 158 119 31 8
799 Look, Steve, a second pussy you’re incapable of getting wet. 1.2975 0.04710 158 122 25 11
800 I’m surprised she’s still on the ball after so many drinks. 1.2963 0.04456 162 123 30 9
801 If I don’t move, they can’t see me. 1.2956 0.04330 159 119 33 7
802 Can't wait until these fools go back to work! 1.2956 0.04510 159 121 29 9
803 I think we’re finally getting the hang of this quarantine thing! 1.2956 0.04237 159 118 35 6
804 I thought if I could get them outside, I'd finally have 15 minutes for myself. 1.2956 0.04598 159 122 27 10
805 Day 85 of quarantine, the humans have discovered the joy of the ball. I wonder if the catnip is next 1.2956 0.04510 159 121 29 9
806 The second this Michael Bolton song is over, I’m making a run for it. 1.2956 0.04510 159 121 29 9
807 You will both die for this 1.2956 0.04768 159 124 23 12
808 In a bold move, Janet decided to add a ball to their weekend cat toss game. 1.2956 0.04330 159 119 33 7
809 That cat is really on the ball. 1.2956 0.04142 159 117 37 5
810 Dog people don't know what they're missing! 1.2956 0.03791 159 121 32 5
811 Now Boots... isn't this better than sitting on that roof all day? 1.2956 0.04510 159 121 29 9
812 This is my third stray of the week. 1.2956 0.04510 159 121 29 9
813 What will he do once we go back to work?? 1.2956 0.04510 159 120 29 9
814 Thank God he stopped meowing. 1.2956 0.04330 159 119 33 7
815 This is the only way he'll submit to a bath. 1.2956 0.04421 159 120 31 8
816 I invented goat yoga when I was drinking, too! 1.2956 0.04684 159 123 25 11
817 I think she gained weight since we played last week. 1.2956 0.04510 159 121 29 9
818 On the count of three, spin it! 1.2956 0.04421 159 120 31 8
819 I used to want them to be here," Fluffy thought 1.2956 0.04598 159 122 27 10
820 I think he might enjoy the catapult. 1.2956 0.03462 159 123 30 6
821 He's really been on the ball lately. 1.2956 0.04510 159 121 29 9
822 Most cats aren't that smart but this one is really on the ball. 1.2956 0.04330 159 119 33 7
823 He hates water so we should be fine. 1.2956 0.04510 159 121 29 9
824 My pussy doesn't like to get wet. 1.2956 0.04510 159 121 29 9
825 This gets them to stop saying, “But, All Lives Matter” for at least an hour. 1.2949 0.04831 156 122 22 12
826 I can’t believe I traded getting out of the bag for being on the ball 1.2949 0.04567 156 119 28 9
827 Their lives are a mess, but why waste one of mine? 1.2949 0.04382 156 117 32 7
828 Boo Boo was looking forward to a nice quiet evening but Don and Shirley had other plans. 1.2949 0.04189 156 117 33 6
829 The moment Mr. Whiskers realized he cashed in his first eight lives whilst enjoying this exact frivolity. 1.2949 0.04476 156 118 30 8
830 Have you noticed that the cat's out of the bag? 1.2949 0.03882 156 119 32 5
831 Try doing this with a dog. 1.2949 0.04287 156 116 34 6
832 Cats are so unlike dogs. The dog is always chasing the ball, but the cat is above fetching. 1.2949 0.04287 156 116 34 6
833 If the cat falls, you have to chug! 1.2949 0.04287 156 118 31 7
834 It was this or a bath. 1.2949 0.04287 156 116 34 6
835 Call it. Heads or tails? 1.2949 0.04657 156 120 26 10
836 Do you think he knows? 1.2949 0.02761 156 118 36 2
837 You see! Levitating a cat on a ball is really not that difficult" 1.2947 0.06147 95 74 14 7
838 Sweetie, let’s not drop the ball on this one, too 1.2922 0.04691 154 119 25 10
839 I liked you two more when you were depressed 1.2922 0.04214 154 114 35 5
840 i'll pop this with my claws i swear to god 1.2922 0.04113 154 113 37 4
841 One tequila, two tequila, three tequila. Floor. 1.2922 0.04600 154 118 27 9
842 Do they even realize I have like 6 more lives? 1.2922 0.04314 154 115 33 6
843 So this is how my ninth life ends. 1.2922 0.04411 154 116 31 7
844 Curiosity took my first three lives, yet somehow I never learn. 1.2922 0.04691 154 119 25 10
845 Only in the Catskills 1.2922 0.04506 154 117 29 8
846 Catapulting 1.2922 0.04506 154 117 29 8
847 I wish they would get divorced already. 1.2922 0.04646 154 121 22 11
848 This is fun! I was tired of the string. 1.2922 0.04314 154 115 33 6
849 It's called Claw Retraction Therapy. 1.2922 0.04691 154 119 25 10
850 When will my humans get out of my house? 1.2922 0.04781 154 120 23 11
851 This is so much easier than with the mastiff. 1.2922 0.04781 154 120 23 11
852 A hot tin roof is looking better every day. 1.2922 0.04506 154 117 29 8
853 The vet recommended aerobics. 1.2922 0.04411 154 116 31 7
854 Sometimes he just doesn't want to play. 1.2922 0.04214 154 114 35 5
855 It does help that she's de-clawed. 1.2922 0.04314 154 115 33 6
856 Summer 2020: a balancing act 1.2895 0.04342 152 114 32 6
857 Honey, I think we should return the cat to Schrodinger. He must be looking for it. 1.2895 0.04726 152 118 24 10
858 And this will DEFINITELY help with his aquaphobia!? 1.2895 0.04633 152 117 26 9
859 Lord Oh Lord, take them back to work and I will convert! 1.2895 0.04726 152 118 24 10
860 Go back to New York. You have no idea what Catskills stands for! 1.2895 0.04817 152 119 22 11
861 Purry would rather drown than be caught in the clasp of the emotionally needy. 1.2895 0.04726 152 118 24 10
862 When will this end? 1.2895 0.04538 152 116 28 8
863 This is just peak quarantine isn’t it? . 1.2895 0.04817 152 119 22 11
864 Now aren't you glad we had him de-clawed? 1.2895 0.04441 152 115 30 7
865 If that goldendoodle from next door catches this, I will no longer have grounds to argue that cats are smarter than dogs. 1.2895 0.04441 152 115 30 7
866 When can they go back to the office? 1.2895 0.04441 152 115 30 7
867 Focus Gerald, we almost have the world record! 1.2895 0.04538 152 116 28 8
868 If I don't move they won't know I am here 1.2895 0.04441 152 115 30 7
869 I'll bet the cat could use a martini. 1.2895 0.04633 152 117 26 9
870 I don’t know about Mittens, but this immersion therapy is working wonders for me. 1.2895 0.04240 152 118 26 8
871 Can we talk again about having kids? 1.2895 0.04342 152 114 32 6
872 From the expression on his face you'd never know he's having a ball. 1.2895 0.04817 152 119 22 11
873 I think we've been domesticated. 1.2895 0.04633 152 117 26 9
874 Nine lives matter too! 1.2895 0.04538 152 116 28 8
875 Looks like you’re not the only one high as a kite. 1.2895 0.03807 152 116 31 5
876 He loves it! 1.2895 0.04441 152 115 30 7
877 See, I told you Crazy Glue is waterproof! 1.2895 0.04633 152 117 26 9
878 He never seems to catch on to how much fun this is. 1.2895 0.04342 152 114 32 6
879 It took two years and four cats, but this will surely go viral. 1.2895 0.04538 152 116 28 8
880 you have to admire his distain 1.2895 0.04633 152 117 26 9
881 What Karen does when she isn't calling the cops on black neighbors. 1.2895 0.04633 152 117 26 9
882 Well, it looks like those car tranquilizers are working. 1.2895 0.04342 152 114 32 6
883 What cat? 1.2895 0.04441 152 115 30 7
884 Why can’t we have a normal cat that likes playing with balls of yarn? 1.2895 0.04441 152 115 30 7
885 I'm impressed, super-glue does work on fur. 1.2895 0.04817 152 119 22 11
886 I think Kitty is finally starting to enjoy quarantine. 1.2895 0.04342 152 114 32 6
887 Lucky we had her declawed 1.2895 0.03251 152 122 23 7
888 I am going to rip all four of your eyes out 1.2895 0.04441 152 115 30 7
889 That super glue really is amazing. 1.2895 0.03920 152 110 40 2
890 This is a sneaky way to bathe the cat. 1.2895 0.04441 152 115 30 7
891 I'm glad we got her declawed. 1.2895 0.04726 152 118 24 10
892 Tennessee Williams: "Cat On a Hot Beach Ball" 1.2895 0.04907 152 120 20 12
893 It ain’t easy being Schrödinger’s cat. 1.2895 0.04538 152 116 28 8
894 I should have taken my chances inside that box. 1.2895 0.04441 152 115 30 7
895 Ugh, I hate when they day drink. 1.2895 0.04538 152 116 28 8
896 Do you see the owner anywhere around? 1.2895 0.03864 152 122 21 9
897 You Feed Her. 1.2895 0.04441 152 115 30 7
898 Not worried. I have another eight lives. 1.2895 0.04633 152 117 26 9
899 This is the most dangerous thing I've done in three months--playing in the pool without a mask! 1.2895 0.04633 152 117 26 9
900 Just look at her. She's having a ball! 1.2895 0.04136 152 112 36 4
901 You will hear from my lawyer 1.2889 0.04917 135 105 20 9
902 This works much better since we had her declawed. 1.2889 0.04803 135 103 25 7
903 The training of my people is exceeding my expectations. Peggy Burkhardt Los Angeles, CA 1.2886 0.04395 149 112 31 6
904 The Vet says it's just an attachment disorder. 1.2886 0.04497 149 113 29 7
905 Life number eight... 1.2886 0.04694 149 115 25 9
906 No use pushing him off. He'll just climb right back on. 1.2886 0.04183 149 115 27 7
907 'The camera's on so just pretend to know what we're doing.' 1.2871 0.05328 101 76 21 4
908 .Should I stay or should I go? 1.2857 0.02644 147 115 29 3
909 Torn between two lovers. 1.2857 0.04424 147 111 30 6
910 Without me this would never work. 1.2857 0.04424 147 111 30 6
911 I hope my curiosity doesn’t kill me 1.2857 0.04528 147 112 28 7
912 Indoor cats don't know what they are missing. 1.2857 0.04528 147 112 28 7
913 Let's try him on a noodle next. 1.2857 0.04729 147 114 24 9
914 One glass of wine and can train them to do anything. 1.2857 0.04630 147 113 26 8
915 This helps her work her kitty core." 1.2857 0.04038 147 110 33 4
916 I'm sure it's stressful for him, but it really helps take my mind off things. 1.2857 0.04208 147 109 34 4
917 For once, a cat wishes he had never been let out of the bag. 1.2857 0.04424 147 111 30 6
918 Who needs goat yoga? We have cat volleyball! 1.2857 0.04729 147 114 24 9
919 I think agreeing to help him with this Tik-Tok video will only encourage him to start a YouTube channel. 1.2857 0.03481 147 113 30 4
920 Unsure which is worse: the animal shelter or shelter-in-place. 1.2857 0.04528 147 112 28 7
921 I read on Facebook if we do this 20 times we won’t get the virus 1.2857 0.04827 147 115 22 10
922 Entanglement says he's wet and dry at the same time. 1.2857 0.04317 147 110 32 5
923 Oh, he’s definitely on the ball, but I wish he’d relax and have some fun once in a while. 1.2857 0.04630 147 113 26 8
924 I need a drink. 1.2857 0.04729 147 114 24 9
925 Who knew that quarantine could be so much fun for everyone, Kitty? 1.2857 0.04528 147 112 28 7
926 Now aren't you glad we had the cat de-clawed? 1.2857 0.04096 147 108 36 3
927 As long as he thinks the beachball is his, we'll all be fine. 1.2857 0.04208 147 109 34 4
928 I liked it better when they were scared of me 1.2846 0.04912 130 100 23 7
929 We're enjoying this,is there a need to ask her? 1.2841 0.06036 88 68 15 5
930 This might be the bong hits, the psilocybin, the empty bottle of mescal talking, but we worship the panther of the hovering checkerboard planet! 1.2841 0.06249 88 69 13 6
931 The humans have finally lost it” 1.2828 0.04453 145 110 29 6
932 This mindfulness crap really isn’t working for me. 1.2828 0.04663 145 112 25 8
933 Cat: Things they make me do for Instagram! #catprop #yourcathatesyouforareason 1.2828 0.04765 145 113 23 9
934 Be the ball. 1.2828 0.04559 145 111 27 7
935 Honey, do you think we should get Netflix? 1.2828 0.04233 145 108 33 4
936 I’m glad this is only a foster! 1.2828 0.04453 145 110 29 6
937 do you think the cat will mind another chardonnay? 1.2828 0.04864 145 114 21 10
938 Cats, no matter the breed, love to be on top of things. 1.2828 0.04453 145 110 29 6
939 I think he prefers a ball of yarn. 1.2828 0.04453 145 110 29 6
940 Well of course it feels like a metaphor! 1.2828 0.04663 145 112 25 8
941 I can claw with my claws as I crawl on the ball! But that is not all! Oh, no. That is not all... 1.2828 0.04765 145 113 23 9
942 Yes, I know we never liked the cat, but isn't this a bit over-the-top? 1.2828 0.04663 145 112 25 8
943 I thought the job posting said indoor cat. 1.2828 0.04765 145 113 23 9
944 Who knew Roscoe would be up for happy hour? 1.2828 0.04559 145 111 27 7
945 ... ain't enough catnip to wipe naked man outta my eyes... 1.2828 0.04765 145 113 23 9
946 black cats matter 1.2828 0.05151 145 117 15 13
947 Oh my god Harold, I think we're using the force! 1.2828 0.04453 145 110 29 6
948 I should have know that wine and a threesome might look a little different under quarantine. 1.2828 0.04453 145 110 29 6
949 In a state of superposition, Schrödinger's cat is very tired and extremely awake. 1.2828 0.04864 145 114 21 10
950 I'm beginning to question whether or not the free room and board is worth it 1.2828 0.04765 145 113 23 9
951 Toby was contemplating into whose flesh he was about to sink his claws. 1.2828 0.04864 145 114 21 10
952 Looks like his 'roomba' training is starting to pay off! 1.2828 0.04559 145 111 27 7
953 As he got older the Cheshire cat found himself appearing in some unfortunate places... 1.2828 0.04453 145 110 29 6
954 I really miss the dog. 1.2828 0.04559 145 111 27 7
955 There will be blood... 1.2828 0.04864 145 114 21 10
956 A Monkey would never stay in the middle. 1.2828 0.04765 145 113 23 9
957 Edgar had become resilient. 1.2828 0.04663 145 112 25 8
958 Aren't you glad we got him declawed? 1.2828 0.04233 145 108 33 4
959 In the event of a water landing, your beach ball may be used as a flotation device. 1.2828 0.04559 145 111 27 7
960 Ever since you let the cat out of the bag,we're having so much more fun. 1.2828 0.04663 145 112 25 8
961 You really shouldn't have superglued his paws. 1.2828 0.04453 145 110 29 6
962 With his fear of water, and natural sense of balance, we can play this game for hours. 1.2828 0.04559 145 111 27 7
963 1000! 1001, 1002, 1003... 1.2828 0.04663 145 112 25 8
964 Won’t they be surprised when I remove my claw! 1.2828 0.04663 145 112 25 8
965 y'know, we could remove the cat... 1.2828 0.04559 145 111 27 7
966 Remember what we told you would happen if you clawed the couch? 1.2828 0.04559 145 111 27 7
967 It's the catnip and wine trance. 1.2828 0.04663 145 112 25 8
968 Thank God she's declawed, we can play for hours. 1.2828 0.04453 145 110 29 6
969 I hate human creativity during quarantine. 1.2828 0.04663 145 112 25 8
970 Yours. No, yours. Noooo, yours!! 1.2808 0.04635 146 113 25 8
971 I finally found a way to distract my people from that spaying and neutering nonsense. 1.2800 0.05519 100 77 18 5
972 Why are you worried about the cat? He’s having a ball 1.2797 0.04698 143 111 24 8
973 Our home workouts have really evolved these past few months! 1.2797 0.04483 143 109 28 6
974 We really need to get the Roomba fixed. 1.2797 0.04698 143 111 24 8
975 She'll remember who dumps her in the pool. 1.2797 0.04698 143 111 24 8
976 He's been like this ever since he watched "Tiger King." 1.2797 0.04372 143 108 30 5
977 See, I told you he becomes the life of the party after just 2 martinis. 1.2797 0.04801 143 112 22 9
978 The vet said it would be good if I gave her some exercise. 1.2797 0.04020 143 105 36 2
979 I hate when they try to make bath-time fun 1.2797 0.04372 143 108 30 5
980 This one’s definitely going viral. 1.2797 0.04372 143 108 30 5
981 Is the scoring in Kittyball the same as Pickleball or more like Tennis? 1.2797 0.04483 143 109 28 6
982 This isn't happening. 1.2797 0.04801 143 112 22 9
983 If we dunk him, we’ll have a jacuzzi. 1.2797 0.04698 143 111 24 8
984 Be sure not to let the C-A-T know she’s cooperating. 1.2797 0.04372 143 108 30 5
985 First the frisbee , now this...I wonder when they´ll fix the Roomba 1.2797 0.04372 143 108 30 5
986 Kitty ready for a big surprise? 1.2797 0.04592 143 110 26 7
987 That was the last time the Jones were seen in one piece. 1.2797 0.04592 143 110 26 7
988 Ralph, have you noticed the cat's out of the bag? 1.2797 0.04592 143 110 26 7
989 If she stays on, what shall we name the drink we gave her? 1.2797 0.04698 143 111 24 8
990 I can see you're disappointed, Chad. But I think my texts were pretty explicit about what I wanted to do. 1.2797 0.04801 143 112 22 9
991 I really don't think this is going to stop her from scratching the couch" 1.2786 0.04541 140 107 27 6
992 Amazing, right? And it only works on the Solstice! 1.2786 0.04653 140 108 25 7
993 So much for the most evolved species on Earth. 1.2786 0.04653 140 108 25 7
994 I see the cat is out of the bag. 1.2786 0.04653 140 108 25 7
995 Strange that it's 11 and Frankie hasn't come asking for food. 1.2786 0.04653 140 108 25 7
996 My cat loves the water but this is not my cat. 1.2786 0.04762 140 109 23 8
997 Do you think he's learned his lesson yet? 1.2786 0.04309 140 105 31 4
998 We’ll call Guinness... there’s got to be a world record somewhere in this... 1.2786 0.04309 140 105 31 4
999 Fluffpaws wasn’t sure when quarantine would end but he knew Janet and Bob needed to socialize. 1.2778 0.04346 144 109 30 5
1000 This game could be going a lot worse: my other pet is a porcupine. 1.2778 0.04669 144 112 24 8
1001 Mittens was beginning to reevaluate her goals as a social media influencer. 1.2778 0.04564 144 111 26 7
1002 Get ready for the dunk shot! 1.2778 0.04669 144 112 24 8
1003 Wow! This wine is good. We levitated the cat! 1.2778 0.04346 144 109 30 5
1004 Now watch what happens when I spike it! 1.2778 0.04456 144 110 28 6
1005 I used to have nine normal lives before they made my Instagram channel 1.2778 0.04564 144 111 26 7
1006 OK, it sounded like fun at the time! 1.2778 0.04564 144 111 26 7
1007 Dr. Kline said Whiskers’ anxiety should subside if we can get him to face his fears. 1.2778 0.04564 144 110 26 7
1008 I thought this might end his indifference. 1.2778 0.04346 144 109 30 5
1009 This is life now. 1.2766 0.04513 141 108 27 6
1010 ‘Whatever, just bring me this prawn cocktail that you promised’ 1.2766 0.04400 141 107 29 5
1011 Is this really the best way to get him to take a bath? 1.2766 0.04283 141 106 31 4
1012 They call that tempting fate in the clawed community. 1.2766 0.04733 141 110 23 8
1013 I don't think he likes us playing with his ball. 1.2766 0.04733 141 110 23 8
1014 Cat - chhhhhhhhh!!! 1.2766 0.04400 141 107 29 5
1015 Curiosity could kill the cat. 1.2766 0.04733 141 110 23 8
1016 First me. Now me on a ball. When will they stop avoiding therapy. 1.2766 0.04624 141 109 25 7
1017 Cloroxytini hallucination #9 1.2766 0.04283 141 106 31 4
1018 And on the next episode of "My Humans From Hell"... 1.2766 0.04513 141 108 27 6
1019 This certainly ought to get us on America's Got Talent 1.2766 0.04283 141 106 31 4
1020 We didn't have a choice. It's his ball. 1.2766 0.04624 141 109 25 7
1021 Get meowtta here! 1.2759 0.04941 145 116 18 11
1022 I always loved your pussy on my balls 1.2754 0.05014 138 110 18 10
1023 No amount of coaxing would ever get Fluffy into the pool. 1.2754 0.04799 138 108 22 8
1024 I hope my pussy doesn't get wet. 1.2754 0.04687 138 107 24 7
1025 And here you thought there was nothing fun to do with the internet down. 1.2754 0.04573 138 106 26 6
1026 That’s his “I’m enjoying it” face. 1.2754 0.04687 138 107 24 7
1027 Who do you think she'll claw first when let her off? 1.2754 0.04799 138 108 22 8
1028 I'll start the camera and let the dog in. 1.2746 0.04808 142 112 21 9
1029 don't you dare stop you know what happens when we anger it 1.2727 0.05710 99 78 15 6
1030 If I’d known there was going to be a quarantine, I would have chosen different humans at the shelter. 1.2721 0.04722 136 106 23 7
1031 This pool better be filled with milk 1.2721 0.04485 136 104 27 5
1032 These aren’t the lifted restrictions I had in mind 1.2721 0.04362 136 103 29 4
1033 Florida man... 1.2721 0.04664 136 108 20 8
1034 She has incredibly strong attachment issues 1.2721 0.04362 136 103 29 4
1035 If I win, you do the neutering. 1.2721 0.04947 136 108 19 9
1036 Did you remember to put the cap back on the Gorilla glue? 1.2721 0.04605 136 105 25 6
1037 You can't train a cat to fetch, but the cat can train us to fetch. 1.2721 0.04605 136 105 25 6
1038 As 'shelter in place' activities got more creative, Fifi became bitter. 1.2721 0.04605 136 105 25 6
1039 It's all fun and games until someone dunks the cat. 1.2721 0.04235 136 102 31 3
1040 You will never get my pussy wet... 1.2721 0.04605 136 105 25 6
1041 Whoever is the 1st to miss signs over the cat in the divorce papers! 1.2721 0.04836 136 107 21 8
1042 ...and they said men can't multitask! 1.2721 0.04836 136 107 21 8
1043 How long before we address the cat in the room? 1.2714 0.04628 140 109 24 7
1044 'What could go wrong?', they asked." 1.2714 0.03971 140 111 23 6
1045 This cat's always on the ball. 1.2714 0.04738 140 110 22 8
1046 No. I thought he was with you. 1.2714 0.04516 140 108 26 6
1047 He’s so much lighter than the monkey! 1.2714 0.04738 140 110 22 8
1048 Keep bouncing, he's still got the budgie in his mouth. 1.2714 0.04738 140 110 22 8
1049 He's finally thinking outside the box. 1.2701 0.04457 137 105 27 5
1050 Maybe you need a different experiment, Professor Schrödinger. I'm quite sure the cat is alive. 1.2701 0.04576 137 106 25 6
1051 It's like playing catch with a Time Bomb! 1.2701 0.04804 137 108 21 8
1052 Let's see if cats really DO always land on their feet! 1.2689 0.05161 119 94 18 7
1053 Look! He’s tolerating it! 1.2687 0.02735 134 104 26 1
1054 Why adults shouldn’t be allowed in the kitty pool. 1.2687 0.04515 134 103 26 5
1055 God, I wish they’d have children already... 1.2687 0.04873 134 106 20 8
1056 As long as I’m not curious about what they’re doing, I’ll live 1.2687 0.04515 134 103 26 5
1057 Who knew Fluffy's tumor would be so much fun? 1.2687 0.04757 134 105 22 7
1058 That trainer was worth every penny. 1.2687 0.04389 134 102 28 4
1059 Ready? I'm going to pull the plug. 1.2687 0.04987 134 107 18 9
1060 trust me, this is the best way to teach the cat to swim 1.2687 0.04637 134 104 24 6
1061 ,,Things have changed but my mood is the same'' 1.2687 0.04637 134 104 24 6
1062 Put me down right MEOW!” 1.2687 0.04757 134 110 14 10
1063 Schrödinger's beach ball 1.2687 0.04757 134 105 22 7
1064 how do I deflate this and get on with my daily slumber? 1.2687 0.04637 134 104 24 6
1065 He could at least look like he’s enjoying this. 1.2687 0.04637 134 104 24 6
1066 Wouldn't couple's therapy be more effective? 1.2687 0.03916 134 100 30 2
1067 Doctor said castration would calm him down; he wasn't kidding 1.2687 0.04637 134 104 24 6
1068 I love playing cat-ch 1.2687 0.04873 134 106 20 8
1069 Good thing we had her declawed. 1.2687 0.04389 134 102 28 4
1070 You know, you could have just put my cat bed on top of the clothes dryer and left it running. 1.2687 0.04515 134 103 26 5
1071 103... 104... Honey, look how happy Mr. Whiskers is! 1.2687 0.04637 134 104 24 6
1072 Who says the center cannot hold? 1.2687 0.04515 134 103 26 5
1073 This will be good for either his balance or his swimming. 1.2687 0.04389 134 102 28 4
1074 After this desensitization step it’s straight into the water! 1.2687 0.04637 134 104 24 6
1075 Let's see how aloof and bored you are in about 2 seconds. 1.2687 0.04637 134 104 24 6
1076 He knew the risks. 1.2687 0.04637 134 104 24 6
1077 The perfect combination of fun and terror. 1.2687 0.04125 134 100 32 2
1078 I’m planning my revenge ...tonight while they sleep 1.2687 0.04873 134 106 20 8
1079 Let them have their drunken fun; I'm calling PETA in the morning! 1.2687 0.04637 134 104 24 6
1080 She won’t come down until we sanitize the pool deck. 1.2687 0.04757 134 105 22 7
1081 And you thought she was an indoor pool cat. 1.2687 0.04389 134 102 28 4
1082 And you thought she was an indoor cat. 1.2687 0.04515 134 103 26 5
1083 This outcome is completely dependent on the direction of time. 1.2687 0.04193 134 103 27 4
1084 I think he wants to be fed. 1.2687 0.04637 134 104 24 6
1085 lately he is going through this "thinking outside the box" phase 1.2687 0.04259 134 101 30 3
1086 They hate water; he’ll stay there forever. 1.2687 0.04259 134 101 30 3
1087 I think he looks happier when riding the Roomba no? 1.2687 0.04515 134 103 26 5
1088 If she doesn’t like it she can always move. 1.2687 0.04637 134 104 24 6
1089 So this is what you meant by playing CATch.... 1.2687 0.04637 134 104 24 6
1090 I think she's ready for the bowling ball. 1.2687 0.04389 134 102 28 4
1091 Honey, you know when the team is able to play again in competition, you’ll need to put on your trunks. 1.2687 0.03618 134 104 27 3
1092 I just love a cat with balls! 1.2687 0.05099 134 108 16 10
1093 Isn’t it just adorable how they plop down right on top of whatever you’re focused on? 1.2687 0.04873 134 106 20 8
1094 She was hoping for a ball of yarn. 1.2687 0.04515 134 103 26 5
1095 This has become tiresome. 1.2687 0.04757 134 105 22 7
1096 Hector is on the ball, as always. 1.2687 0.04515 134 103 26 5
1097 He’s more of an outdoor, indoor-pool cat. 1.2687 0.04515 134 103 26 5
1098 What do you think people did on vacation before TikTok challenges? 1.2687 0.04125 134 105 24 5
1099 This was the second worst pool party this cat had ever been to, the first was similar, but lacked the ball. 1.2687 0.04757 134 105 22 7
1100 Damn! That super glue really does work. 1.2687 0.04757 134 105 22 7
1101 Look happy; with what's going on, this could be on ESPN tonight. 1.2687 0.04757 134 105 22 7
1102 And you said you'd never play with the cat. 1.2687 0.04515 134 103 26 5
1103 We should never have let the cat watch Siegfried and Roy! 1.2672 0.05101 116 91 19 6
1104 This is not what I meant by, ‘Zoom.’ 1.2672 0.04945 131 103 19 8
1105 Poor little kitty. I need a refill. 1.2672 0.04825 131 103 21 7
1106 So what? The indoor record is still a record. 1.2672 0.04702 131 102 23 6
1107 Ah shit, I forgot to take my phone out of my pocket. 1.2667 0.04607 135 105 24 6
1108 I thought it was called monkey in the middle. 1.2667 0.04486 135 104 26 5
1109 The things white people think matter 1.2667 0.04607 135 105 24 6
1110 What happened to ‘All Lives Matter,’ Karen? You know I can’t swim. 1.2667 0.04726 135 106 22 7
1111 Having lost the bet, Mr Whiskers nevertheless refused to give up his position. 1.2667 0.04232 135 102 30 3
1112 This was actually a fun way to see who gets the cat in the divorce! 1.2667 0.04607 135 105 24 6
1113 Declawed, and humiliated again. 1.2667 0.04607 135 105 24 6
1114 Gary suddenly realized the humans were no longer had his best interest at heart. 1.2667 0.04607 135 105 24 6
1115 Being a Persian, you'd think he'd rather play Marco Polo, but you'd be wrong. 1.2667 0.04486 135 104 26 5
1116 Now, this is what I call a great first date! 1.2667 0.04607 135 105 24 6
1117 Look hon, it's true! No matter how we throw him he always comes down feet first! 1.2667 0.04361 135 103 28 4
1118 It just feels risky without our masks. 1.2667 0.04232 135 102 30 3
1119 I hope these boozers don't think I'm keeping score. 1.2667 0.04361 135 103 28 4
1120 Our third drink and his fourth life! 1.2667 0.04361 135 103 28 4
1121 Who's a good toy?" 1.2667 0.04726 135 106 22 7
1122 This is why I named him Furball. 1.2667 0.04726 135 106 22 7
1123 At least they didn't make me wear that stupid bathing cap she made 1.2667 0.04486 135 104 26 5
1124 She’s a rescue from America’s Got Talent. 1.2667 0.04607 135 105 24 6
1125 Is that hissing sound Muffy or the ball? Either way, pour me another one!” 1.2667 0.04726 135 106 22 7
1126 No cat of ours will be afraid of water. 1.2667 0.04361 135 103 28 4
1127 He's feline good. 1.2667 0.04841 135 107 20 8
1128 9 serving 6. If I knock her off once more, I win. 1.2667 0.04486 135 104 26 5
1129 How much longer before we let it drop? 1.2667 0.04607 135 105 24 6
1130 Whatever you do, don’t get him wet. 1.2667 0.04361 135 103 28 4
1131 See, honey? I told you the honeymoon cat package would be worth it! 1.2667 0.04486 135 109 18 8
1132 The cat knew a seal that could do this same trick, but in reverse.” 1.2667 0.04486 135 104 26 5
1133 Keep those claws in, Muffin. We don't want you stuck in the skimmer again. 1.2667 0.03673 135 108 22 5
1134 Wait till you see what happens when we drop the ball! 1.2667 0.04361 135 103 28 4
1135 Kitty misses the beach. 1.2667 0.04361 135 103 28 4
1136 He's so trusting. 1.2667 0.04486 135 104 26 5
1137 Nothing says summer quite like a gin and catatonic. 1.2667 0.04954 135 108 18 9
1138 The declawing changed his whole perspective, didn't it? 1.2667 0.04841 135 107 20 8
1139 These are my outdoor humans. 1.2667 0.04726 135 106 22 7
1140 So this is my life 1.2667 0.04726 135 106 22 7
1141 Not again. 1.2652 0.04215 132 103 21 5
1142 I told you we need blindfolds for this to be Schrodinger's cat. 1.2652 0.04545 132 102 25 5
1143 Never will I protest the cat hotel again 1.2652 0.04670 132 103 23 6
1144 And that’s how quarantine cat-ball began. 1.2652 0.04793 132 104 21 7
1145 They’d never do this to Baxter 1.2652 0.04912 132 105 19 8
1146 Last time I try crossing their path. 1.2652 0.04670 132 103 23 6
1147 I miss the office. 1.2652 0.04912 132 105 19 8
1148 My new normal. 1.2652 0.04416 132 101 27 4
1149 This isn’t supposed to happen until Phase 4. 1.2652 0.04416 132 106 19 7
1150 ...and Tigger realized that he was not longer in control. 1.2652 0.04793 132 104 21 7
1151 Our #catchallenge on TikTok is totally going to trend 1.2652 0.04912 132 105 19 8
1152 Not even one drop of levity could be found for a humorous thought bubble. 1.2652 0.04793 132 104 21 7
1153 And it was at that moment - after years of mastering mind control and training them in cat magicks, as he was finally on his way to his home planet - that deep down, he actually cared for these humans. 1.2652 0.04416 132 101 27 4
1154 I knew the price of this hotel was too good to be true 1.2652 0.04670 132 103 23 6
1155 Here I am, stuck in the middle of clowns and jokers 1.2652 0.04793 132 104 21 7
1156 Dear cat person I don’t think I am a person cat 1.2652 0.04793 132 104 21 7
1157 First one to drop the ball in the water, dies; the other one gets to feed me forever 1.2652 0.05028 132 106 17 9
1158 These shelter-in-place drinking games have got to stop. 1.2652 0.04793 132 104 21 7
1159 A bottle of wine always inspires the best ideas. 1.2652 0.04416 132 100 27 4
1160 I don’t know why that rescue group was so nervous about us fostering Fluffy. 1.2652 0.05028 132 106 17 9
1161 Do you think we should have children? 1.2652 0.04793 132 104 21 7
1162 Yay! Finally found some velcro that works! 1.2652 0.04545 132 101 25 5
1163 Lets see what happens if we miss. 1.2652 0.04912 132 105 19 8
1164 The origin of Cat Pandemic Traumatic Disorder otherwise known as CPTD 19. 1.2652 0.04545 132 102 25 5
1165 Nothing fazes Fluffy. 1.2652 0.04545 132 102 25 5
1166 Oh god. They've been watching TikTok. 1.2652 0.04545 132 102 25 5
1167 whatever 1.2652 0.05028 132 106 17 9
1168 Get used to us, Morris. We are going to be at home for some time. 1.2652 0.04912 132 105 19 8
1169 If only there were still audiences. 1.2652 0.04481 132 104 22 6
1170 I said, "cool cat." 1.2652 0.04670 132 103 23 6
1171 Hey, maybe cats really do hate water! 1.2652 0.04545 132 102 25 5
1172 She loves her catnip and we love our chardonnay! 1.2652 0.04793 132 104 21 7
1173 It's catch, but with higher stakes. 1.2652 0.04545 132 102 25 5
1174 No problem. Declawed. 1.2652 0.04670 132 103 23 6
1175 Who's the Good Kitty? 1.2652 0.04545 132 102 25 5
1176 He can't decide which life to use. 1.2652 0.04670 132 103 23 6
1177 Just why did I think this was anything like inserting myself into a snuggle, or checkers game? 1.2652 0.04146 132 104 23 5
1178 Did I just hear the cat say, "Keep your eye on the ball! 1.2652 0.04416 132 101 27 4
1179 Don't worry. Cats hate water. 1.2652 0.04670 132 103 23 6
1180 Honey, your sure Siegfried and Roy started like this 1.2652 0.04283 132 102 26 4
1181 His feels more like antisocial distancing to me. 1.2652 0.04670 132 103 23 6
1182 Sic transit. 1.2652 0.02712 132 108 20 4
1183 Wow, it's true, she prefers this to watching Hannity. 1.2652 0.04912 132 105 19 8
1184 Darlin' I think the shelter meant she is a cool cat, not a pool cat. 1.2652 0.04545 132 102 25 5
1185 Oh Jesus. 1.2652 0.05028 132 106 17 9
1186 Are you sure you had her declawed Claude? 1.2652 0.04912 132 105 19 8
1187 Honey trust me, the book definitely said we should share a bottle of wine and play with the cat and ball 1.2652 0.04793 132 104 21 7
1188 It's more fun with the added element of danger. 1.2652 0.04670 132 103 23 6
1189 He likes this so much more than the Roomba. I think it's because of the element of danger. 1.2652 0.04912 132 105 19 8
1190 The game is Catastrophe. 1.2652 0.04912 132 105 19 8
1191 Seee, try doing that with a dog! 1.2652 0.04545 132 102 25 5
1192 To the dismay of the cat, Ruth and Marvin invented a cat ball game while sheltering in place. 1.2652 0.04416 132 101 27 4
1193 Let's roll him off and see if he lands on all fours 1.2652 0.04670 132 103 23 6
1194 Supercat, meet Superglue! 1.2652 0.04670 132 103 23 6
1195 I don't usually do this on a first date. 1.2652 0.04793 132 104 21 7
1196 Ninety-seven, ninety-eight, ninety-nine.... 1.2652 0.02918 132 109 18 5
1197 Just a while longer, this makes him sleepy. 1.2652 0.04416 132 101 27 4
1198 nothing excites him anymore. 1.2652 0.04545 132 102 25 5
1199 He REALLY hates the water, doesn't he? 1.2652 0.04416 132 101 27 4
1200 That's amazing; he's still grumpy. 1.2652 0.04416 132 101 27 4
1201 Maybe I am adorable 1.2652 0.04283 132 100 29 3
1202 Behold my power pathetic humans! 1.2652 0.04793 132 104 21 7
1203 Ignore him he’s just trying to get our attention. 1.2652 0.04545 132 102 25 5
1204 Seventh life, eighth life...... 1.2652 0.04283 132 100 29 3
1205 If Kitty stays on top, she can have some wine in her milk. 1.2652 0.04545 132 102 25 5
1206 He’s really into this. 1.2652 0.04670 132 103 23 6
1207 Aren't you glad I had him declawed? 1.2652 0.04670 132 103 23 6
1208 He can’t ignore us now! 1.2652 0.04545 132 102 25 5
1209 This is how we go viral! 1.2652 0.04670 132 103 23 6
1210 This should make him think twice about not using the litter box 1.2652 0.04670 132 103 23 6
1211 She's getting bored with sheltering at home. 1.2652 0.04670 132 103 23 6
1212 If he says ‘You’ve got this girl’ one more time he’s going for a swim. 1.2652 0.04793 132 104 21 7
1213 How grumpy cats are made. 1.2652 0.04912 132 105 19 8
1214 It’s good for him to get out of the stroller every once in a while 1.2652 0.04912 132 105 19 8
1215 He never got over the cow jumping over the moon. 1.2652 0.04545 132 102 25 5
1216 See, he'd rather defy gravity than get wet. 1.2652 0.04670 132 103 23 6
1217 Just don't let it drop... She hates Water... 1.2652 0.04545 132 102 25 5
1218 He’s obviously over-compensating for being neutered. 1.2652 0.03931 132 105 22 5
1219 Sign of the times... catch as cat can! 1.2652 0.04670 132 103 23 6
1220 Simba sadly reflects on his new reality since the dog died. 1.2652 0.04283 132 100 29 3
1221 She'll be happy till the catnip gets soggy 1.2652 0.04670 132 103 23 6
1222 When playing with a beach ball it's important to keep your cat centered on the ball. 1.2652 0.04416 132 101 27 4
1223 Who says social distancing can't be fun. 1.2652 0.04793 132 104 21 7
1224 You were so quick to come over and play with my pussy. 1.2652 0.04912 132 105 19 8
1225 Don’t worry, he’s declawed. 1.2652 0.04793 132 104 20 7
1226 Eventually Greg found a way to channel his dislike of Greta’s cat into a game they all loved but for completely opposite reasons. 1.2652 0.04912 132 105 19 8
1227 He's been doing this with everything ever since I got the Roomba. 1.2652 0.04912 132 105 19 8
1228 I'm going to let the air out. He's still in his comfort zone. 1.2652 0.04912 132 105 19 8
1229 This was the moment that Danielle and Kevin knew that they shouldn’t have kids. 1.2652 0.05028 132 106 17 9
1230 Roger, I want a divorce. 1.2647 0.04577 136 106 24 6
1231 Hold it, Harold, I must be drunk. Is that our cat on the moon? 1.2647 0.04695 136 107 22 7
1232 Fluffy won’t ever trust us again. 1.2647 0.04577 136 105 24 6
1233 Remember, if the ball hits the water, one of us takes a drink, but we both are mysteriously killed in our sleep. 1.2647 0.04810 136 108 20 8
1234 Thank goodness he's been declawed. 1.2647 0.04333 136 104 28 4
1235 It's a Cat on a Cold Beach Ball. 1.2647 0.04695 136 107 22 7
1236 He also does this when I’m reading the paper. 1.2647 0.04205 136 103 30 3
1237 How can these white people play with a beach ball when the world is going up in flames? 1.2642 0.05412 106 84 16 6
1238 Bob and Whiskers don’t share Kathy’s enthusiasm for extreme sports wine Wednesday but they are willing to play along. 1.2642 0.05576 106 85 14 7
1239 Okay, so now the cat and I are gonna switch places... 1.2632 0.05145 114 90 18 6
1240 Meanwhile at Schrödinger’s pool... 1.2619 0.04671 126 98 23 5
1241 Remember Carl, the cat will rat you out if you come too close. They still say 'six feet apart'. 1.2615 0.04376 130 102 23 5
1242 No, I have no idea where she could be hiding. 1.2615 0.04829 130 103 20 7
1243 I think he enjoys this better than the robot vacuum. 1.2615 0.04443 130 100 26 4
1244 I thought quarantine meant making your own bread and binge watching Tiger King? 1.2614 0.05359 88 70 14 4
1245 See? I TOLD you Shenanigans likes to be the center of attention! 1.2604 0.05389 96 75 17 4
1246 Two Boomers attempt the TikTok “Cat Toss” Challenge 1.2598 0.04501 127 98 25 4
1247 Four months well spent. 1.2598 0.04638 127 102 19 6
1248 Is this how I go? 1.2598 0.04638 127 99 23 5
1249 « A scratch and then I will send them back to work. » 1.2598 0.04638 127 99 23 5
1250 I don't care that chlorine kills the virus! That's not the point! 1.2598 0.04771 127 100 21 6
1251 Remember, we just have to wiggle the mouse a few times so the bosses think we’re still online. 1.2598 0.04900 127 101 19 7
1252 Wingardium leviosa. I told you the two of us could do it. 1.2598 0.04900 127 101 19 7
1253 It was either this or them making banana bread for the 17th time. 1.2598 0.03986 127 102 20 5
1254 I think I'm starting to understand American politics 1.2598 0.04638 127 99 23 5
1255 You know, Barbara, I’ve never understood why they refer to us as the 1%. 1.2598 0.05026 127 102 17 8
1256 That's right humans... worship me! 1.2598 0.04501 127 98 25 4
1257 Are you sure this is what the covid dating site said to do? 1.2598 0.04771 127 100 21 6
1258 Let's add a cat. 1.2598 0.04771 127 100 21 6
1259 Is there any better proof of a good marriage? 1.2598 0.04360 127 100 23 4
1260 I'm not so sure this shared custody things is going to work out. 1.2598 0.04638 127 99 23 5
1261 This is the last time I let them talk me into playing catch. 1.2598 0.04638 127 99 23 5
1262 This should get lots of YouTube hits. 1.2598 0.04771 127 100 21 6
1263 The rules are self-explanatory: It’s a drinking game called “Nine Lives.” 1.2598 0.04638 127 99 23 5
1264 Excuse me, but I dont have any wine. 1.2598 0.04900 127 101 19 7
1265 Their just on their first drink. 1.2598 0.04900 127 101 19 7
1266 No, once it was out of the bag, I couldn’t put it back in. 1.2598 0.04638 127 99 23 5
1267 She’ll pay attention to us at some point, I swear. 1.2598 0.04771 127 100 21 6
1268 Borrrrrrring 1.2598 0.04771 127 100 21 6
1269 We’ll get a lot of followers on Tik Tok with this. 1.2598 0.04501 127 98 25 4
1270 I'm starting to understand just what cat a tonic means. 1.2598 0.03826 127 101 22 4
1271 I hate timeshare vacation ownership 1.2598 0.04771 127 100 21 6
1272 This is inappropriate.... we're in the kitty pool 1.2598 0.04771 127 100 21 6
1273 You should see him on the catapult. 1.2598 0.04501 127 98 25 4
1274 I suppose if I drown I’ll still have eight more lives. 1.2598 0.04900 127 101 19 7
1275 This beach ball is heavier than last time. 1.2598 0.04638 127 99 23 5
1276 Catch-as-cat-can! 1.2598 0.04638 127 99 23 5
1277 This game is known as 'Schrodinger's Catch.' 1.2598 0.04771 127 100 21 6
1278 YES ITS CAT ON A BEACH BALL Only $9.95 but wait, there's more... 1.2598 0.04900 127 101 19 7
1279 I’m never gonna get this super glue out of my fur 1.2598 0.04900 127 101 19 7
1280 If the beach was open, he could never have experienced this. 1.2598 0.04501 127 98 25 4
1281 Humiliated, Fluffles ponders the literal meaning of "the cat's got your tongue." 1.2598 0.04638 127 99 23 5
1282 It's really a cat-out-of-water sort of game. 1.2598 0.04501 127 98 25 4
1283 it's good to get him out of the house 1.2598 0.04771 127 100 21 6
1284 And this is why cats don't like water. 1.2598 0.04638 127 99 23 5
1285 I told you it would be easier than playing catch with the cat. 1.2598 0.04638 127 99 23 5
1286 Just don't fall off until after we film the TikTok video. 1.2598 0.04501 127 98 25 4
1287 I told you superglue would do the trick. 1.2598 0.04360 127 97 27 3
1288 Relax, honey, the cat has nine lives. 1.2598 0.04432 127 100 22 5
1289 You're right. She's not as tipsy as we are. 1.2598 0.04638 127 99 23 5
1290 Millennials version of Cat on a Hot Tin Roof. 1.2598 0.04215 127 101 21 5
1291 Lesson no. 1: the cat is on the ball 1.2581 0.04704 124 97 22 5
1292 The trick is to pretend the cat’s not there. 1.2581 0.04562 124 96 24 4
1293 Keep the ball in the air! Chester needs at least 45 minutes since he last ate before he can get in the water 1.2581 0.04704 124 97 22 5
1294 Did that meow mean STOP or go higher? 1.2581 0.04416 124 95 26 3
1295 How many times do I have to tell you, the vet said this would make him stop peeing in my slippers 1.2581 0.04704 124 97 22 5
1296 Is this the wine talking or is there a cat on top of our beachball? 1.2581 0.04704 124 97 22 5
1297 You know, Katherine, when I said ‘Let’s have a ball, Kat’ I think you misunderstood what I meant. 1.2581 0.04704 124 97 22 5
1298 This is fun Dr. Schrödinger, but I’m not sure it proves your theory. 1.2581 0.04704 124 97 22 5
1299 Do not eat the humans in their sleep. Do not eat the humans in their sleep. Do not eat the humans in their sleep. Do not eat the humans in their sleep. 1.2581 0.04704 124 97 22 5
1300 My own personal slice of hell 1.2581 0.04704 124 97 22 5
1301 I don’t know what was I thinking about when I agreed to barter this for a niçoise tuna bowl! 1.2581 0.05355 124 102 12 10
1302 Goat Yoga is so "yesterday". 1.2581 0.04704 124 97 22 5
1303 I'm so glad we got a pool cat rather than a gym rat. 1.2581 0.04562 124 96 24 4
1304 ..........seven lives, eight lives........... 1.2581 0.05231 124 101 14 9
1305 I'd love to, but you’ll have to remove that damn cat. 1.2581 0.04562 124 96 24 4
1306 What’s our exit strategy? 1.2581 0.04562 124 101 16 7
1307 Maybe it’s the Syrah talking, but I really think he likes it! 1.2581 0.04416 124 95 26 3
1308 I don't know--she seems happy enough. 1.2581 0.04416 124 95 26 3
1309 Muffy really wished they hadn't run out of wine. 1.2581 0.03945 124 97 24 3
1310 Put a little spin on it next time. 1.2581 0.04841 124 98 20 6
1311 He's just lucky we're not bowling! 1.2581 0.04562 124 96 24 4
1312 You're right. This makes a lot more sense after a few stiff drinks. 1.2581 0.04416 124 95 26 3
1313 I don’t think a dog would have done this. 1.2581 0.04416 124 95 26 3
1314 The fun really starts when the claws come out! 1.2581 0.04562 124 96 24 4
1315 The cat adds an extra element of danger. 1.2581 0.04841 124 98 20 6
1316 In just a few months of quarantining, we've already mastered levitation. 1.2581 0.04704 124 97 22 5
1317 Wow, I haven't done this in ages! 1.2581 0.04562 124 96 24 4
1318 When we end up in hell, all cheese will be pepperjack." 1.2581 0.04841 124 98 20 6
1319 Another for the bucket list 1.2581 0.03776 124 96 26 2
1320 I’m not sure if we’re playing with it or if it’s playing with us. 1.2569 0.05116 109 86 18 5
1321 They’ll never notice me with this cloaking device 1.2560 0.04806 125 99 20 6
1322 That moment when the catnip wears off. 1.2560 0.04385 125 96 26 3
1323 Schroödinger: "I hope the cat is alright". Wife: No one will know, keep passing! 1.2560 0.05068 125 101 16 8
1324 I didn’t think we were supposed to play in the litter box. 1.2560 0.01346 125 105 17 3
1325 have you noticed that every time we drink rosé we end up in the pool playing kitty ball? 1.2560 0.03390 125 100 22 3
1326 Are you sure this is a TikTok challenge? 1.2560 0.05068 125 101 16 8
1327 Larry... it’s happening. we’re finally gonna be tik tok famous 1.2560 0.04806 125 99 20 6
1328 „In a brief contemplative moment, Pete the Cat imagined his life to have turned out a totally different ballgame“ 1.2560 0.04939 125 100 18 7
1329 Our therapist said to try something new 1.2560 0.04236 125 95 28 2
1330 I think we’re running out of ways to avoid the news cycle. 1.2560 0.04385 125 96 26 3
1331 We we’re SO right about not having kids! 1.2560 0.04530 125 97 24 4
1332 'Is this how you make a Tik Tok?' 1.2560 0.04530 125 97 24 4
1333 One more throw and I swear I’ll pop it ... I don’t care if I get wet! 1.2560 0.04939 125 100 18 7
1334 Bubbles was never the same once she got back form the taxidermist. 1.2560 0.04670 125 98 22 5
1335 If I ignore it maybe it’ll stop 1.2560 0.04236 125 95 28 2
1336 I'm thinking a half million 'Likes' on TikTok! 1.2560 0.04806 125 99 20 6
1337 Now that's how you show what static electricity can do. 1.2560 0.04806 125 99 20 6
1338 Dear Diary- I met the most fantastic man! Chippendale body, Olympic athlete.....We’re teaching tricks to his rare Siberian snow leopard! 1.2560 0.05194 125 102 14 9
1339 Not sure if this is the best time to bring it up, but I want a divorce. 1.2560 0.04670 125 98 22 5
1340 The only reason I let you humiliate me like this is because you let me scratch your furniture. Otherwise, I'd be hooking you up to a wine cooler enema. Meow. 1.2560 0.04806 125 99 20 6
1341 In all fairness to Mittens, we really need to start thinking about getting our own ball. 1.2560 0.04530 125 97 24 4
1342 In a 1980's revival, Williams made substantial revisions to the title of the play and the relationship of Maggie and Brick. 1.2560 0.04806 125 99 20 6
1343 And you didn't want to declaw her. 1.2560 0.04670 125 98 22 5
1344 These people must be dog lovers. 1.2560 0.05068 125 101 16 8
1345 Kitty really is on the ball! 1.2560 0.04385 125 96 26 3
1346 How do you know when we've had enough gin? 1.2560 0.04670 125 98 22 5
1347 She is just *determined* to go viral. 1.2560 0.04530 125 97 24 4
1348 Where's the parakeet? 1.2560 0.04939 125 100 18 7
1349 I love hairball! 1.2560 0.04530 125 97 24 4
1350 Not so hard! The vet wants us to be careful until her stitches heal. 1.2560 0.04806 125 99 20 6
1351 Marco! Pussy! 1.2560 0.04806 125 99 20 5
1352 If you think this is fun, Rubio, wait until we introduce you to the wonderful world of volleyball. 1.2560 0.04385 125 96 26 3
1353 This is the most playful I've seen Mr. Wigglebottoms in years! 1.2560 0.04806 125 99 20 6
1354 I think the swimming lessons are going really well, don't you? 1.2560 0.04670 125 98 22 5
1355 Use your core! 1.2560 0.04001 125 96 27 2
1356 Carlisle lamented superiorly, "These morons fight traffic every day, get blitzed every night, and call it a life. But they drop me in this water and I'll have 'em singing Die Valkyrie in one easy lesson." 1.2560 0.04670 125 98 22 5
1357 'Who rescued who?' my ass. 1.2560 0.04530 125 102 16 7
1358 Who's a cute compliant kitty? Muffins is a cute compliant kitty, that's who! 1.2560 0.04530 125 97 24 4
1359 Lucifurr just sat there thinking of ways to get even. 1.2560 0.04530 125 97 24 4
1360 “She has attachment issues.” 1.2560 0.04939 125 100 18 7
1361 I don't think I can take nine lifetimes of this. 1.2560 0.04670 125 98 22 5
1362 I just don't have the balls for this. 1.2560 0.04939 125 100 18 7
1363 Fun indeed dear, but I still think nothing tops hamster cornhole 1.2560 0.03751 125 102 18 5
1364 Sure glad we got the kitty pool 1.2560 0.04530 125 97 24 4
1365 The quaran-tinis and "work from home" were taking their toll. 1.2560 0.04806 125 99 20 6
1366 Despite years of failure, the Baileys simply couldn't accept that cats can't smile. 1.2560 0.04939 125 100 18 7
1367 Helluva hairball, Burt. 1.2560 0.04530 125 97 24 4
1368 You did have her declawed, didn't you? 1.2560 0.04385 125 96 26 3
1369 It might be the wine, but it seems heavier than normal. 1.2560 0.04530 125 97 24 4
1370 I'm warning you! I'm a furmidable opponent! 1.2560 0.04670 125 98 22 5
1371 Can you believe we used to play this game with a toaster?" 1.2560 0.04806 125 99 20 6
1372 It's impossible to tell, but I know she's loving this. 1.2560 0.04080 125 94 30 1
1373 See, I told you it was good to have her declawed. 1.2560 0.04385 125 96 26 3
1374 It'd be more fun with a big ball of yarn. 1.2560 0.04939 125 100 18 7
1375 It’s always a struggle to market yourself when you’re self employed, but then I realized taxidermy could have a fun side. 1.2560 0.05068 125 101 16 8
1376 This is our best illusion ever. 1.2560 0.04806 125 99 20 6
1377 If the cat drowns, you lose 1.2547 0.05537 106 86 13 7
1378 I wanted to adopt a rescue seal. 1.2541 0.04737 122 96 21 5
1379 This will teach it not to claw the furniture! 1.2522 0.04916 115 91 19 5
1380 I know they are required at the office, but these trust exercises with the cat are just plain weird. 1.2522 0.03231 115 92 21 2
1381 He likes the water but he’s out of lives. 1.2520 0.04703 123 97 21 5
1382 This is going better than badminton. 1.2520 0.04256 123 94 27 2
1383 She will not fall. She's afraid of water. 1.2520 0.04842 123 98 19 6
1384 It has to be a dream. We don’t have a cat. Or a pool. 1.2500 0.04622 120 94 22 4
1385 Beam me up. 1.2500 0.03501 120 94 21 2
1386 The taxidermist was right, honey. Mr. Whiskers is more fun with the beachball! 1.2500 0.05056 120 97 16 7
1387 I miss when they travelled for summer 1.2500 0.04771 120 95 20 5
1388 Is this really how I want to be spending the rest of my fifth life? 1.2500 0.04622 120 94 22 4
1389 How is he doing that?!? I don’t know, Sharon! He’s your cat! 1.2500 0.05056 120 97 16 7
1390 If it keeps them happy, I’m okay with it. 1.2500 0.04308 120 92 26 2
1391 Stop being such a big P%#^y 1.2500 0.00837 120 101 17 2
1392 Are you sure we’re on mute? 1.2500 0.04771 120 95 20 5
1393 He's a good sport 1.2500 0.04467 120 93 24 3
1394 As your King, I demand you halt this dilly dallying and get back to work at once! 1.2500 0.05056 120 97 16 7
1395 Oh come on now, nine lives shouldn’t be interpreted as a checklist 1.2500 0.04915 120 96 18 6
1396 It’s your turn to feed him, dear. 1.2500 0.04915 120 96 18 6
1397 No! Fluffy is on MY quaramTEAM! 1.2500 0.04771 120 95 20 5
1398 Quarantine Day 122: what else can we do to play with Boots the cat?! 1.2500 0.04771 120 95 20 5
1399 Remember, whichever way he falls, that’s who gets to keep him. 1.2500 0.04467 120 93 24 3
1400 And who said we needed to have kids to have fun 1.2500 0.04467 120 93 24 3
1401 Stay-cat-ion 1.2500 0.04915 120 96 18 6
1402 No catpion 1.2500 0.05056 120 97 16 7
1403 Anyone seen the cat? 1.2500 0.04622 120 94 22 4
1404 Always fun playing cat and soused. 1.2500 0.04308 120 92 26 2
1405 And they say cats don’t like water. 1.2500 0.04142 120 94 21 3
1406 white privilege. 1.2500 0.05192 120 98 14 8
1407 Am I declawed? 1.2500 0.04771 120 95 20 5
1408 ‘Karen, meet Craig from HR’ 1.2500 0.02712 120 99 18 3
1409 Chester rarely takes to someone like this on a first date! 1.2500 0.04308 120 92 26 2
1410 I think the catnip might be wearing off. 1.2500 0.04622 120 94 22 4
1411 To be honest, this game is more fun on my phone. 1.2500 0.04915 120 96 18 6
1412 Remember the movie 'Speed'? 1.2500 0.04771 120 95 20 5
1413 I think she's about ready for hang-gliding. 1.2500 0.04622 120 94 22 4
1414 Remember when she wouldn't even go in the kitty pool?" 1.2500 0.04622 120 94 22 4
1415 She'll never complain about that ball of yarn game again. 1.2500 0.04467 120 96 20 4
1416 Oh, that's where I put him. 1.2500 0.04467 120 93 24 3
1417 It's working! She seems mildly entertained! 1.2500 0.04308 120 92 26 2
1418 No, you feed him. 1.2500 0.04915 120 96 18 6
1419 I am not sure kitty likes our version of cat-ch! 1.2500 0.02959 120 95 24 1
1420 Are they always so territorial? 1.2500 0.04622 120 94 22 4
1421 Wonder how many lives are flashing before her eyes? 1.2500 0.04915 120 96 18 6
1422 Is he always this aloof after one drink? 1.2500 0.04622 120 94 22 4
1423 Don't worry about the cat. They always land on their feet. 1.2500 0.04771 120 95 20 5
1424 He likes to play high risk, low reward games. 1.2500 0.04622 120 94 22 4
1425 It's HER mousy toy, it's HER salmon kibble, it's HER cushion, it's HER beach ball. When does it ever end? 1.2500 0.04308 120 92 26 2
1426 It’s much more fun since we had him declawed, isn’t it dear? 1.2500 0.03695 120 96 21 3
1427 This was your idea for joint custody, remember? 1.2500 0.04915 120 96 18 6
1428 Told you she likes tequila 1.2500 0.04622 120 94 22 4
1429 He's much more eager to please now that he's in his 9th life. 1.2500 0.04622 120 94 22 4
1430 Something about the nine lives makes them think I'm invincible. 1.2500 0.04915 120 96 18 6
1431 Whosever side he falls on has to do the litter box for a month. 1.2500 0.04467 120 93 24 3
1432 Wow Man, this Chardonnay is really kicking in! 1.2500 0.04622 120 94 22 4
1433 I want the divorce 1.2500 0.04467 120 93 24 3
1434 But how do we monetize it? 1.2500 0.04622 120 94 22 4
1435 declawed..no why? 1.2500 0.05056 120 97 16 7
1436 No one will ever convict me. 1.2500 0.04467 120 93 24 3
1437 He was getting bored with the Roomba. 1.2500 0.04622 120 94 22 4
1438 Thurber just pretends he doesn’t care for the Catbird Seat. 1.2500 0.04771 120 95 20 5
1439 I know, honey, but Whiskers hates to get her feet wet. 1.2500 0.04622 120 94 22 4
1440 So you call this game, "Who gets their eyes scratched out by the cat first?". 1.2500 0.05326 120 99 12 9
1441 Still bored, little kitty kitty? 1.2500 0.04622 120 94 22 4
1442 The cat's out and we're in the bag. 1.2500 0.05056 120 97 16 7
1443 I don't know how much more I can stand of Joan's and Jerome's social isolation coping skills 1.2500 0.04622 120 94 22 4
1444 Well, I think Mr. Whiskers is happy he can distract us from our deep-seated hatred of each other. 1.2500 0.05192 120 98 14 8
1445 Mr. Snuggles here is the reason why my relationship status is set at "complicated." 1.2500 0.04915 120 96 18 6
1446 This is better than a hot tin roof! ! 1.2500 0.04622 120 94 22 4
1447 If you hadn’t declawed me, this ball would be popped, I’d be napping and you two would stop this feline felony. 1.2500 0.04915 120 96 18 6
1448 I'd be worried about this even if they weren't drinking. 1.2500 0.04771 120 95 20 5
1449 It helps mitigate his depression ever since the Roomba broke. 1.2500 0.04915 120 96 18 6
1450 I’ll admit I was skeptical when you suggested this. 1.2500 0.04142 120 91 28 1
1451 This game ends badly for hemophiliacs. 1.2500 0.04622 120 94 22 4
1452 Cat......." I wish they would just decide who gets the cat, with a nice game of rock, paper,scissors". 1.2500 0.05192 120 98 14 8
1453 I don't think he gets 'monkey in the middle.' 1.2500 0.04771 120 95 20 5
1454 From day one Jingles knew the terrace hot tub was a bad idea. 1.2500 0.04771 120 95 20 5
1455 ...Maybe I'll get lucky and only have 8 lives. 1.2500 0.04467 120 93 24 3
1456 Wait, how did I wake up here? 1.2500 0.04622 120 94 22 4
1457 I can't believe I'm wasting one of my nine lives doing this. 1.2500 0.05192 120 98 14 8
1458 You want to try the basketball next? 1.2500 0.04057 120 98 17 5
1459 This isn’t feline good for me guys... 1.2479 0.04879 121 97 18 6
1460 I told you the cat would have a ball. 1.2479 0.04588 121 95 22 4
1461 Things white people will do to avoid fighting for Black lives No. 4367 aption 1.2479 0.04991 117 94 17 6
1462 When roomates don't understand about boundaries 1.2479 0.04991 117 94 17 6
1463 Maybe I’m just not lifeguard material 1.2479 0.04687 117 92 21 4
1464 ...And thus began and ended Karen’s attempt to be an influencer. 1.2479 0.04527 117 91 23 3
1465 I’m just saying inviting the neighbours cat, whiskers, into our covid bubble wasn’t your best idea. 1.2479 0.04841 117 93 19 5
1466 But, alas, it was not curiosity that killed the cat this fateful night. 1.2479 0.04991 117 94 17 6
1467 not what I had in mind when she said “get the ball honey, the cat needs some playtime” 1.2479 0.04687 117 92 21 4
1468 For the first time, Boris regretted sitting upon one of the humans’ objects of interest. 1.2479 0.04361 117 90 25 2
1469 This cat has balls. 1.2479 0.04991 117 94 17 6
1470 It's not worth the occasional fish sticks 1.2479 0.05137 117 95 15 7
1471 This is great! What should we do next to avoid addressing Black Lives Matter? 1.2479 0.04527 117 91 23 3
1472 Black cats matter too, they said. 1.2479 0.05137 117 95 15 7
1473 you could have mentioned this hobby in your profile. 1.2479 0.04527 117 91 23 3
1474 I hate being on YouTube! 1.2479 0.05137 117 95 15 7
1475 Either the cat’s levitating again or we’re drunk before midday for the third time this week... 1.2479 0.04687 117 92 21 4
1476 I swear if these humans don’t go back to work I will commit a felony. 1.2479 0.05278 117 96 13 8
1477 It’s fine. It’s really fine. We’re doing great. 1.2479 0.04841 117 93 19 5
1478 Somehow he always lands on his feet. 1.2479 0.03520 117 93 17 3
1479 During quarantine Tom and Suzan mastered social distancing. 1.2479 0.04841 117 93 19 5
1480 I just knew we’d find a cat sitter who was on the ball. 1.2479 0.04991 117 94 17 6
1481 Never thought I‘d say it but I would rather be in the water 1.2479 0.04527 117 91 23 3
1482 I guess we are 6 feet apart. 1.2479 0.04687 117 92 21 4
1483 Professor McGonagall immediately regretted signing up to teach transfiguration on the singles cruise. 1.2479 0.05137 117 95 15 7
1484 All black lives matter 1.2479 0.05137 117 95 15 7
1485 Their offices need to reopen. 1.2479 0.04991 117 94 17 6
1486 You still have to walk the dog.” 1.2479 0.04687 117 92 21 4
1487 I should get a job! 1.2479 0.04841 117 93 19 5
1488 Well, you did say “here, kitty kitty” 1.2479 0.05278 117 96 13 8
1489 At least I’m not a dog. 1.2479 0.04527 117 91 23 3
1490 Now this is what I call stable genius 1.2479 0.05137 117 95 15 7
1491 So this is how the want to waste my third life? 1.2479 0.04991 117 94 17 6
1492 She’s ecstatic. 1.2479 0.04841 117 93 19 5
1493 The claws don’t typically come out until the third date. 1.2479 0.04991 117 94 17 6
1494 And you wanted an indoor cat. 1.2479 0.04527 117 91 23 3
1495 I forget...how many lives is this? 1.2479 0.04687 117 92 21 4
1496 Say you respect us... or in you go. 1.2479 0.04527 117 91 23 3
1497 I don't think the cat likes our drinking games 1.2479 0.04687 117 92 21 4
1498 How to quarantine a cat. 1.2479 0.04189 117 89 27 1
1499 'You were right! I AM a cat person!!' 1.2479 0.04361 117 90 25 2
1500 Cat toys are so underrated 1.2479 0.04841 117 93 19 5
1501 Decisions! Decisions! Whose head should I jump on to get out of this predicament? 1.2479 0.04841 117 93 19 5
1502 Does anyone smell cat poop? 1.2479 0.04991 117 94 17 6
1503 Captain Whiskers: “I should’ve taken the blue pill.” 1.2479 0.04991 117 94 17 6
1504 How long does helium last, Felix? Mr. Bubbles hasn't had a real bath in over eight years, and I need to get another glass of wine. 1.2479 0.05137 117 95 15 7
1505 Muffy, remember how you like to bat around those little mice? 1.2479 0.04687 117 92 21 4
1506 The cat was convinced that John and Blanche were just playing with her emotions. 1.2479 0.04687 117 92 21 4
1507 He was never this much fun before the declawing. 1.2479 0.04361 117 90 25 2
1508 This was not my idea 1.2479 0.03190 117 94 21 2
1509 Does this cat belong to someone in your building? 1.2479 0.04527 117 91 23 3
1510 This is the last straw. I'd rather be an alley cat. 1.2479 0.04527 117 91 23 3
1511 Play nice or she’ll let the air out of the ball. 1.2479 0.03413 117 95 19 3
1512 I think Mr. Cuddles is trying to tell us that cat lives matter or it could just be lunchtime! 1.2479 0.04841 117 93 19 5
1513 I told you playing with your pussy could be fun! 1.2479 0.04991 117 94 17 6
1514 Roomba cat on vacay. 1.2479 0.04527 117 92 18 4
1515 We just can't keep going on with things up in the air like this. 1.2479 0.04687 117 92 21 4
1516 That day, Chester resolved to complete his application to the cat cafe. 1.2479 0.05137 117 95 15 7
1517 I hate it when she’s bored. 1.2479 0.04687 117 92 21 4
1518 Don’t let him know you’re excited. He’ll burst your bubble! 1.2479 0.04841 117 93 19 5
1519 Walter was becoming concerned that his captors’ observance of physical distancing was on the wane 1.2479 0.04991 117 94 17 6
1520 Is the ball in the air or on the ground? 1.2479 0.04991 117 94 17 6
1521 She takes sheltering in place very seriously. 1.2479 0.04687 117 92 21 4
1522 He's more fun now that he's de-clawed. 1.2479 0.03723 117 90 21 2
1523 Once summer broke, Sylvester began to question the wisdom of loosening alcohol laws during the pandemic 1.2479 0.04841 117 93 19 5
1524 And you wanted to pay a cat sitter! 1.2479 0.04991 117 94 17 6
1525 She was complaining about the hot tin roof. 1.2479 0.04527 117 91 23 3
1526 Did you see the cat lately? 1.2479 0.04991 117 94 17 6
1527 His disdain for humanity is what keeps the ball afloat. 1.2479 0.04841 117 93 19 5
1528 All three of us are getting better at this. 1.2479 0.04361 117 90 25 2
1529 God, these stupid people are so easily entertained. 1.2479 0.04841 117 93 19 5
1530 Jinxy is trying to decide if this is better than getting wet. 1.2479 0.04527 117 91 23 3
1531 I thought you said we were going on vacation with the Katzes... 1.2479 0.04841 117 93 19 5
1532 The plants I bought didn’t’ die, so my therapist told me I was ready for a pet... 1.2479 0.04841 117 93 19 5
1533 Riley’s harsh gaze spoke volumes about Kathy and Dave’s “trust exercise“ 1.2479 0.04527 117 91 23 3
1534 Playtime is over, kids. 1.2479 0.04361 117 90 25 2
1535 This should push his TikTok followers over a million! 1.2479 0.05416 117 97 11 9
1536 This is more fun since we got him declawed. 1.2479 0.04687 117 92 21 4
1537 What can I say? - the cat thinks the ball belongs to her! 1.2479 0.04527 117 91 23 3
1538 I include my cat in everything, and I do mean everything. 1.2479 0.04687 117 92 21 4
1539 Do I have them trained, or what? 1.2479 0.05137 117 95 15 7
1540 It's just like passing a ticking bomb back and forth, but more dangerous. 1.2479 0.04527 117 91 23 3
1541 This is fun, but it could be the Chardonnay talking. 1.2479 0.04189 117 94 19 4
1542 Look at her face! You can tell she loves this. 1.2479 0.05137 117 95 15 7
1543 Excellent. The ritual is almost complete. 1.2479 0.04991 117 94 17 6
1544 Really should teach him the doggie paddle. 1.2479 0.02069 117 95 21 1
1545 He’s just curious. 1.2479 0.04841 117 93 19 5
1546 This is ridiculous, I feel like we are in New Yorker cartoon. 1.2479 0.04991 117 94 17 6
1547 Not all pandemic adoptions end well 1.2479 0.04687 117 92 21 4
1548 What did you put in his milk? 1.2479 0.04687 117 92 21 4
1549 Don't worry. She's only up to six lives. 1.2479 0.04687 117 92 21 4
1550 CAT-CH America's new quarantine game. 1.2479 0.04991 117 94 17 6
1551 Thank goodness I've got eight more shots at "living my best life". 1.2479 0.05137 117 95 15 7
1552 He'll do anything for a Youtube video. 1.2479 0.04607 117 94 18 5
1553 ... and the picture will look as if we played with a ball with a cat sanding on it. 1.2479 0.04991 117 94 17 6
1554 It's really time they went back to the office. 1.2479 0.04687 117 92 21 4
1555 Bob, I told you the hotel had great amenities 1.2479 0.04841 117 93 19 5
1556 It's like she knows what we mean by a little spaycation. 1.2479 0.04687 117 92 21 4
1557 Winner of this season’s Topical TikTok contest: Quality couple time incorporating exercising AND recreating AND relaxing AND including the cat ALL while 6 ft apart AND making a case both con and pro of white privilege. Hashtag Gold! 1.2477 0.05239 109 88 15 6
1558 It's the only way I can get them to take their bath. 1.2458 0.04953 118 95 17 6
1559 Fur ball! 1.2458 0.04805 118 94 19 5
1560 Now I see why they said this couples therapy is a bit unorthodox 1.2458 0.04805 118 94 19 5
1561 Honey, I think Whiskers just attained enlightenment. 1.2458 0.04652 118 93 21 4
1562 I’m so glad you didn’t mind me bringing Mr Bojangles on our first date! 1.2458 0.04329 118 91 25 2
1563 I swear my last cat really enjoyed this... until he drowned. 1.2458 0.04805 118 94 19 5
1564 We’re taking him to the vet next week to refill his Prozac. 1.2458 0.04953 118 95 17 6
1565 When I told you we’d have a ball down here, I meant all of us! 1.2458 0.05097 118 96 15 7
1566 the one time Hugo didn't overthink his situation didn't work out so well. 1.2458 0.04493 118 92 23 3
1567 The gold metal finals for drunk beach ball-cat toss. #2020Olympics 1.2458 0.04493 118 92 23 3
1568 Who decided this was a good idea? 1.2458 0.04805 118 94 19 5
1569 They say this is the best time to rescue a cat. Apply within. 1.2458 0.04805 118 94 19 5
1570 See? We didn’t need to spend money boarding Mr. Pickles! 1.2458 0.04493 118 92 23 3
1571 His parents worked for Ringling Brothers. 1.2458 0.04329 118 91 25 2
1572 Ohhh, I've never known a cat that didn't like this game 1.2458 0.04329 118 91 25 2
1573 Glad we had him declawed 1.2458 0.04493 118 92 23 3
1574 My wards are easily entertained. 1.2458 0.04652 118 93 21 4
1575 The taxidermist really captured Whiskers' essence! 1.2458 0.05097 118 96 15 7
1576 Seems calm now...watch when we get the toy mouse up there. 1.2458 0.04805 118 94 19 5
1577 It's not about whether the cat is in the box or not...the question is whether it holds the ball or the ball carries it" 1.2458 0.04729 118 96 16 6
1578 You can tell she loves it. 1.2458 0.05097 118 96 15 7
1579 I think this is her eighth life! 1.2458 0.04805 118 94 19 5
1580 Whooosh! Isn’t this fun Tibbs! What a lucky cat you are! 1.2458 0.04652 118 93 21 4
1581 Maybe if we put a little spin on it. 1.2458 0.04329 118 91 25 2
1582 This game's no fun without the mouse. 1.2458 0.04493 118 92 23 3
1583 Social media is hardest on the family pet. 1.2458 0.04953 118 95 17 6
1584 That's as close as you're gonna get to mine! 1.2458 0.05097 118 96 15 7
1585 Don’t you just love the suspense? 1.2458 0.04493 118 92 23 3
1586 She'll be sad when we go back to the office.. 1.2458 0.04652 118 93 21 4
1587 Maybe we should’ve asked the dog. 1.2458 0.04652 118 93 21 4
1588 Do you think we should tell Mr. Space Cat with his claws out that the beach ball is made of K-E-V-L-A-R? 1.2458 0.04953 118 95 17 6
1589 I can see that your cat is not happy about pools reopening. 1.2458 0.04652 118 93 21 4
1590 Cats rule... 1.2458 0.02933 118 99 15 4
1591 Instead of doing a cannonball in the pool, they opted for a cat-on-ball. 1.2458 0.03794 118 92 22 2
1592 Don't stop . . . I think he's amused. 1.2458 0.04329 118 91 25 2
1593 She prefers it to yarn! 1.2458 0.04805 118 94 19 5
1594 You're right - she's much more relaxed after a couple of glasses of wine. 1.2458 0.04493 118 92 23 3
1595 Now let's see what happens if we let the helium out of the cat 1.2458 0.04805 118 94 19 5
1596 I"m sure cats can swim." 1.2458 0.04805 118 94 19 5
1597 I dare you to get my pussy wet! 1.2458 0.04805 118 94 19 5
1598 Video's definitely going viral unless he drowns,too. 1.2458 0.01165 118 99 17 2
1599 This must be what it feels like to have a personality. 1.2458 0.04652 118 93 21 4
1600 Funny how an indifferent cat seizes the moment! 1.2458 0.04953 118 95 17 6
1601 It’s a living. 1.2447 0.05171 94 74 17 3
1602 Let’s call this furball. 1.2435 0.04553 115 90 22 3
1603 It was at this point Mr. Puss-Puss realized the epoxy-based diet had a secondary purpose 1.2424 0.04992 99 78 18 3
1604 Ms. Sprinkles thought it no coincidence that the Chardonnay had appeared before noon today. 1.2424 0.05578 99 81 12 6
1605 Narrator: the cat was (in a sense) both "dead and alive" 1.2424 0.05578 99 81 12 6
1606 The humans must be running out of ways to spark joy 1.2414 0.04519 116 91 22 3
1607 Remember, if you drop the cat, you have to watch Fauci on YouTube. 1.2414 0.05140 116 95 14 7
1608 He's a great comfort pet, until someone drops the ball. 1.2414 0.03489 116 93 21 2
1609 If I fits, I sits 1.2389 0.05071 113 92 15 6
1610 It was not until that moment that Mittens truly understood general relativity. 1.2389 0.04913 113 91 17 5
1611 They say they always land on their feet but I'm not sure if they can swim. 1.2389 0.04221 113 87 25 1
1612 The cat: “I hate it when they photoshop me in their pictures” 1.2389 0.05071 113 92 15 6
1613 I read that by changing the play routine keeps cats entertained 1.2389 0.04749 113 90 19 4
1614 Relax, you’ve got two whole lives left! 1.2389 0.04580 113 89 21 3
1615 I wish she would sit this still when we have the camera out. 1.2389 0.04580 113 89 21 3
1616 Life is a balancing act. 1.2389 0.04913 113 91 17 5
1617 I am SO glad we gave couples therapy a second chance, Fred. 1.2389 0.04580 113 89 20 3
1618 I think it’s the wine, but is the ball getting heavier? 1.2389 0.04580 113 89 21 3
1619 I'm afraid we're spoiling the cat. 1.2389 0.04749 113 90 19 4
1620 How do you remember the wine but forget the catnip? Gimme a break. 1.2389 0.04749 113 90 19 4
1621 You know she can't swim 1.2389 0.04580 113 89 21 3
1622 The excitement starts when one of us misses the ball and the cat hits the water. 1.2389 0.04580 113 89 21 3
1623 He craves disruption, not attention. 1.2389 0.04580 113 89 21 3
1624 I still can't believe she found the jellicle ball. 1.2389 0.04913 113 91 17 5
1625 I didn’t know that hairballs were inflatable! 1.2389 0.05071 113 92 15 6
1626 Thank God these a**holes don’t have 9 lives!! 1.2389 0.04913 113 91 17 5
1627 He likes the uncertainty of it all. 1.2389 0.04221 113 87 25 1
1628 Excuse me but it's MONKEY in the middle! 1.2389 0.04404 113 88 23 2
1629 He's petrified of the water, LOL! 1.2389 0.05225 113 93 13 7
1630 Why did we never think of this before quarantine? 1.2389 0.04749 113 90 19 4
1631 I'm a black cat, you know. 1.2389 0.04749 113 90 19 4
1632 Note to self: Spray, spray, spray 1.2389 0.05225 113 93 13 7
1633 Look, she loves it. Now was it really so hard to include Bootsie in our quality time? 1.2389 0.03021 113 94 16 3
1634 Better than the Roomba! 1.2389 0.05071 113 92 15 6
1635 Have you seen Whiskers lately? 1.2389 0.04749 113 90 19 4
1636 It is moments like this that I wish we never created humans in order to escape the cold, greedy clutches of solitude; I could do without them right about now. 1.2389 0.05071 113 92 15 6
1637 It's good to see the cat get some exercise. 1.2389 0.04404 113 88 23 2
1638 Happy to supervise; maintaining social distance is my thing 1.2389 0.04749 113 90 19 4
1639 And they say being a cat parent isn’t like being a real parent. 1.2389 0.04580 113 89 21 3
1640 She loves the new kitty pool. 1.2389 0.04913 113 91 17 5
1641 See? Isn't this better than burying him in the yard? 1.2389 0.04580 113 89 21 3
1642 She thinks it's a Roomba. 1.2389 0.04749 113 90 19 4
1643 I hope the ad revenue will be worth my dignity this time. 1.2389 0.04580 113 89 21 3
1644 Now, let's see what the dog will do to stay six feet away from us. 1.2389 0.04580 113 89 21 3
1645 And you said cats weren't playful. 1.2389 0.04580 113 89 21 3
1646 Just act like Schrödinger isn’t here. 1.2389 0.04580 113 89 21 3
1647 She's just mocking us now. 1.2389 0.04580 113 89 21 3
1648 Katy and Frank weren't an item until they quit board games cold turkey and took up Catastrophe. 1.2389 0.04913 113 91 17 5
1649 The roomba is broken. 1.2389 0.04913 113 91 17 5
1650 When drinking gin, sometimes Stacey and Ed gave their cat a tonic. 1.2389 0.04913 113 91 17 5
1651 Fourth of July water activities will look a little different this year. 1.2389 0.04749 113 90 19 4
1652 This is the only way we can be sure she doesn't knock our wine glasses over, hold tight and I'll refill your glass. 1.2389 0.04913 113 91 17 5
1653 I'm thinking of calling it Catersise. 1.2389 0.04580 113 89 21 3
1654 The things I do to keep them entertained these days. 1.2371 0.04582 97 75 21 1
1655 Okay, now call the dogs. 1.2366 0.05801 93 77 10 6
1656 The ball is flat. 1.2364 0.04644 110 87 20 3
1657 ...and to think the reviews said the pool was too small to swing a cat. 1.2364 0.04644 110 87 20 3
1658 Honey, she’s doing it again! This would be perfect for the New Yorker caption contest. 1.2364 0.04820 110 88 18 4
1659 They do rule us after all 1.2364 0.04644 110 87 20 3
1660 Has the cat become a bit more clingy these days? 1.2364 0.04820 110 88 18 4
1661 It was at this point that Steve realised he needed to re-think his life choices 1.2364 0.04644 110 87 20 3
1662 Drunk with power Dave and Suzanne brought their erotic game to a strange new level 1.2364 0.04460 110 86 22 2
1663 Will my relationship with these humans survive quarantine? 1.2364 0.04269 110 85 24 1
1664 It’s exposure therapy - of course she’s not enjoying herself. 1.2364 0.05314 110 91 12 7
1665 When will they stop so I can lick my balls 1.2364 0.05468 110 92 10 8
1666 I love our new wine glasses. 1.2364 0.04990 110 89 16 5
1667 Look honey he’s coughed up an air ball! 1.2364 0.04990 110 89 16 5
1668 Wingardium leviosa! 1.2364 0.04820 110 88 18 4
1669 I’m not the only one asking how I got here 1.2364 0.04820 110 88 18 4
1670 You think Cirque du Soleil will notice? 1.2364 0.04171 110 92 13 5
1671 That wasn’t cat nip. 1.2364 0.05154 110 90 14 6
1672 Looks like summer to me 1.2364 0.04644 110 87 20 3
1673 Now that we've trained the cat, we can take our telekinesis act on the road. 1.2364 0.04990 110 89 16 5
1674 Weird, I’m the only one not having a ball. 1.2364 0.04820 110 88 18 4
1675 If I fits it, I sits it...? 1.2364 0.05314 110 91 12 7
1676 Meowzers! 1.2364 0.04820 110 88 18 4
1677 Just keeping entertained during a slow news month. 1.2364 0.04820 110 88 18 4
1678 i knew letting them get me declawed was a mistake. 1.2364 0.04460 110 86 22 2
1679 Am I drunk or is our cat high? 1.2364 0.04990 110 88 16 5
1680 I never thought being a glue tester would be this much fun! 1.2364 0.04644 110 87 19 3
1681 Damn COVID! Go back to work! 1.2364 0.03749 110 90 17 3
1682 Now, isn't this more fun than the box it came in? 1.2364 0.04990 110 89 16 5
1683 Playing with the cat at a safe social distance. 1.2364 0.04460 110 86 22 2
1684 This'll make the neighbor's cat think twice before coming in our yard again! 1.2364 0.05154 110 90 14 6
1685 Uh honey, I'm not sure this is wine we are drinking. 1.2364 0.04820 110 88 18 4
1686 I think the Joneses are bringing the spaniels to our Friday pool party 1.2364 0.04460 110 86 22 2
1687 Actually, he seemed to enjoy the ball of yarn more. 1.2364 0.04069 110 84 26 0
1688 Fluffy seems suicidal now that we are always here. 1.2364 0.05154 110 90 14 6
1689 Real wine glasses at the pool - so dangerous. 1.2364 0.04990 110 89 16 5
1690 Next round, let’s replace the cat with a cartoonist. 1.2364 0.04820 110 88 18 4
1691 Playing with your ball could very well get my pussy wet. 1.2364 0.05314 110 91 12 7
1692 See, I told you it always lands cat side up. 1.2364 0.04990 110 89 16 5
1693 Just wait ‘til I do or don’t make it to the cat box...they won’t ever try this again. 1.2364 0.04820 110 88 18 4
1694 Who needs nine lives when this one's a ball? 1.2364 0.04644 110 87 20 3
1695 So this is what it feels like being on top of the world. 1.2364 0.04269 110 85 24 1
1696 Henri is gonna need another cannabis treat in a minute. 1.2364 0.04644 110 87 20 3
1697 I think he misunderstood when I asked him if he wanted to come play with us at the kiddie pool. 1.2364 0.05154 110 90 14 6
1698 It'll be fun to get an Australian Water cat," you said. "Let's wait until we check out its habits," I said. "How bad could they be," you said 1.2364 0.04990 110 89 16 5
1699 Kitty Prozac was the best investment I ever made. 1.2364 0.04990 110 89 16 5
1700 Miffy missed the good ol’ days of dwarf-throwing. 1.2364 0.04820 110 88 18 4
1701 He only needs 1,000 more followers to be verified. 1.2364 0.04820 110 88 18 4
1702 As long as I don't get wet, I'm fine. 1.2364 0.04820 110 88 18 4
1703 I think the cat is having a ball... 1.2364 0.04820 110 88 18 4
1704 Who knew hairballs inflated 1.2364 0.04990 110 89 16 5
1705 The cat is out of the bag again! 1.2364 0.04906 110 91 13 6
1706 I promised the cat we'd have a ball. 1.2364 0.04644 110 87 20 3
1707 How many glasses of wine have we had, anyway? 1.2364 0.04820 110 88 18 4
1708 Floyd’s Service called. The Roomba will be ready at noon. 1.2364 0.04820 110 88 18 4
1709 The goal is to keep six feet apart. 1.2364 0.04644 110 87 20 3
1710 Is it the wine or is the cat on top of the ball? 1.2364 0.04553 110 89 17 4
1711 Your furball. 1.2364 0.04644 110 87 20 3
1712 It’s two lives to three. 1.2364 0.04644 110 87 20 3
1713 ....and the final rule of 'BeachCat' is the loser helps the cat out of the pool. 1.2364 0.04990 110 89 16 5
1714 We’re enjoying life... just like those people on social media! 1.2364 0.04460 110 86 22 2
1715 If he poops in your slipper this time we'll know there's something about this game he doesn't like. 1.2364 0.04644 110 87 20 3
1716 One scratch and it’s over for me! 1.2364 0.04644 110 87 20 3
1717 Either she's too scared to move or very well trained. 1.2364 0.04644 110 87 20 3
1718 I think that Whiskers must have studied Einstein's 1905 paper 'On the Electrodynamics of Moving Bodies': he is 'at rest' relative to his own frame of reference, which WE perceive as 'in motion'. This cat is really on the ball! 1.2364 0.04990 110 89 16 5
1719 Using a cat has been slightly better than that time we used a toaster 1.2364 0.04990 110 89 16 5
1720 How'd the ball get here? 1.2364 0.04644 110 87 20 3
1721 Good thing she's declawed. 1.2364 0.04990 110 89 16 5
1722 Were you drinking before I got here? 1.2364 0.05314 110 91 12 7
1723 I can’t believe they think this will get rid of my ‘fur balls’!! 1.2364 0.04820 110 88 18 4
1724 Be careful, he's on his ninth life. 1.2364 0.04644 110 87 20 3
1725 She insists on being the bell -of-the ball! 1.2364 0.04460 110 86 22 2
1726 Yes, he’s a Ballinese cat. 1.2364 0.04069 110 84 26 0
1727 Oh look, she's playing! 1.2364 0.04820 110 88 18 4
1728 See...I told you Kitty likes to play ball. 1.2364 0.04460 110 86 22 2
1729 Dogs! What’s fun about balls, anyway? 1.2364 0.04990 110 89 16 5
1730 Pride always cometh before the ball 1.2364 0.04644 110 87 20 3
1731 What’s new pussy cat? 1.2364 0.04820 110 88 18 4
1732 I have to admit being mildly disappointed when the resort manager told me this was the Exotic Cat Experience they advertised. 1.2364 0.04820 110 88 18 4
1733 That’s not what I had in mind. 1.2364 0.04644 110 87 20 3
1734 Thankfully it’s not a hot tin roof this time 1.2364 0.04820 110 88 18 4
1735 Glad we don’t have to wipe down everything from the store now 1.2364 0.04820 110 88 18 4
1736 Be careful honey, he doesn’t like to get wet. 1.2364 0.04820 110 88 18 4
1737 Someone forgot to feed the cat. 1.2364 0.04990 110 89 16 5
1738 It won't land on its feet this time. I guarantee. 1.2364 0.04820 110 88 18 4
1739 Our Overlord is not pleased. Smile better! 1.2364 0.04990 110 89 16 5
1740 I just love how Kitty is always on the ball! 1.2364 0.04460 110 86 22 2
1741 I didn’t sign up for this. 1.2364 0.04990 110 89 16 5
1742 Anybody keeping score? 1.2364 0.04269 110 85 24 1
1743 Gentle -- if he gets spooked the claws come out and the fun is over. 1.2364 0.04990 110 89 16 5
1744 He seemed annoyed we've been home so much, but he's been a ball today 1.2364 0.04990 110 89 16 5
1745 You said you'd like to play with my cat in the hot tub. 1.2364 0.04460 110 91 14 5
1746 I think he likes having us home all the time! 1.2364 0.05154 110 90 14 6
1747 I was worried about him at first, but then it just got fun! 1.2364 0.04644 110 92 14 4
1748 Mostly, I despise humans. Particularly when they're in the mood to "play with the cat!" 1.2364 0.04820 110 88 18 4
1749 If 2020 were a cat, it'll be this one" 1.2364 0.04733 110 90 15 5
1750 I've heard of monkey in the middle but this is ridiculous! 1.2364 0.04460 110 86 22 2
1751 Mr. Whiskers is having a ball! 1.2364 0.03520 110 89 19 2
1752 It's common knowledge that cats hate water, but few realize they also don't understand gravity. 1.2364 0.04990 110 89 16 5
1753 One more game of 'Curiosity' - please? 1.2364 0.00913 110 94 15 1
1754 Your cat is a marvelously calm cat. 1.2364 0.04990 110 89 16 5
1755 Think she'd also like a drink? 1.2364 0.04644 110 87 20 3
1756 Do you think Mr. Wiggles realizes how much fun this is? 1.2364 0.03859 110 88 20 2
1757 Only 3 more lives to go Tabitha! 1.2364 0.05314 110 91 12 7
1758 Gosh! Who’s face do I scratch out first? 1.2364 0.04644 110 87 20 3
1759 If he won't get off the ball, he’s going to be part of the game! 1.2364 0.04644 110 87 20 3
1760 Schrodinger's cat's got nothing on Tigger. 1.2364 0.04644 110 87 20 3
1761 Ready? Now we drop the ball and run like hell. 1.2364 0.05154 110 90 14 6
1762 That's what I like about this cat. She's always on the ball. 1.2364 0.05314 110 91 12 7
1763 Good thing we got the cat drunk too! 1.2364 0.04990 110 89 16 5
1764 Before COVID-19, who knew this would be fun? 1.2364 0.04990 110 89 16 5
1765 He wants to go viral. 1.2364 0.04820 110 88 18 4
1766 This will look great on Instagram. 1.2364 0.04820 110 87 15 5
1767 In a way, he’s rescued us. 1.2364 0.04644 110 87 20 3
1768 Don't complain.It's his vacation too. 1.2364 0.05154 110 90 14 6
1769 He's a little traumatized. Last week the President tried to grab him. 1.2364 0.04990 110 89 16 5
1770 This is not working, get the dog. 1.2364 0.05154 110 90 14 6
1771 His therapist said we could try it without the ball as early as next week. 1.2364 0.04644 110 87 20 3
1772 And you wanted a dog. 1.2364 0.04644 110 87 20 3
1773 ...and whoever's face she clings to, wins! 1.2364 0.04460 110 86 22 2
1774 as soon as he gets his claws in that ball he will be one made cat!! 1.2364 0.04460 110 86 22 2
1775 Scenario: Luke and Leia move to suburbia... 1.2353 0.05712 85 69 12 4
1776 And you thought a dog would be too clingy? 1.2347 0.04983 98 78 17 3
1777 If we can teach Abigail to work the camera, TikTok here we come! 1.2347 0.05190 98 79 15 4
1778 At least we’re not horsing around. 1.2347 0.04424 98 83 10 5
1779 Look! Tabby has attained Nirvana! 1.2347 0.05190 98 79 15 4
1780 Good thinking,getting them de-clawed! 1.2347 0.05190 98 79 15 4
1781 She makes sure we stay six feet apart. 1.2347 0.05190 98 79 15 4
1782 At the count of three, hands on hips. One, Two ..... 1.2347 0.05190 98 79 15 4
1783 If either one of you drops the ball, I will resign as master of your house. Think about that. 1.2347 0.05190 98 79 15 4
1784 I didn't know she'd be an on-ball cat when we got her. 1.2347 0.04541 98 78 18 2
1785 Nine lives! Nine lives! I can swim! I can swim! 1.2347 0.05389 98 80 13 5
1786 Did you remember to buy milk? 1.2342 0.04781 111 89 18 4
1787 Kevin the cat has not been well. “Everything in the world has been so up in the air lately.” 1.2342 0.04949 111 90 16 5
1788 This is so much more fun than watching cats on the Internet 🐈 1.2342 0.04425 111 87 22 2
1789 'Try being more than just an indoor cat', they said. 1.2342 0.04695 111 91 15 5
1790 Heads up! It’s a flyin’ fur ball!! 1.2342 0.04425 111 87 22 2
1791 Trying to squeeze into a tiny box is more fun that this 1.2342 0.04949 111 90 16 5
1792 Adoption agencies will really adopt pets out to anyone during lockdown. 1.2342 0.04607 111 88 20 3
1793 what's this white privilege I keep hearing about? 1.2342 0.04949 111 90 16 5
1794 Now we can practice joint custody. 1.2342 0.04607 111 88 20 3
1795 Time spent with humans is never wasted 1.2342 0.04425 111 87 22 2
1796 I am tired of playing with them at home 1.2342 0.04781 111 89 18 4
1797 Wonder when these losers will go back to work? 1.2342 0.04781 111 89 18 4
1798 I don't think I want kids. 1.2342 0.04607 111 88 20 3
1799 How were we ever dog people? 1.2342 0.04607 111 88 20 3
1800 Another reason I'm sorry they declawed me! 1.2342 0.04425 111 87 22 2
1801 This'll teach her to stay in her own back yard! 1.2342 0.04425 111 87 22 2
1802 Quaint. They actually think they're moving it themselves. 1.2342 0.04949 111 90 16 5
1803 She just wants to feel included! 1.2342 0.04607 111 88 20 3
1804 I think she’s ready for her dinner 1.2342 0.05112 111 91 14 6
1805 Ninth time’s a charm! 1.2342 0.04607 111 88 20 3
1806 Great job, Fluffy. Your next Home Olympics event is the 10-meter springboard. 1.2342 0.03830 111 89 20 2
1807 Why would we ever want a dog? 1.2342 0.04781 111 89 18 4
1808 I'm fed up of humans and their cat fantasies. 1.2342 0.04949 111 90 16 5
1809 This time, don't startle him. It's our last beach ball. 1.2342 0.04607 111 88 20 3
1810 Tabby’s fear of water does add an element of excitement , doesn’t it, honey? 1.2342 0.04607 111 88 20 3
1811 You’re right. Only a declawed one would keep our ball inflated. 1.2342 0.05112 111 91 14 6
1812 Oh come on, I'm sure he's having a ball! 1.2342 0.04607 111 88 20 3
1813 I told the cartoonist I didn’t think he could come up with something so silly that no one could think of anything to submit 1.2342 0.04607 111 88 20 3
1814 It's hard to remember life without him. 1.2342 0.04607 111 88 19 3
1815 Smile, George. If she sees us frowning, we'll be here all night. 1.2342 0.04781 111 89 18 4
1816 Success! She finally achieved levitation through her "stare at the wall trance". 1.2342 0.04781 111 89 17 4
1817 Lighten up little guy we’re just kitten around 1.2342 0.04607 111 88 20 3
1818 Now try to bounce it off the wall! 1.2342 0.04781 111 89 18 4
1819 There MUST be a better way to teach him not to scratch balls 1.2342 0.04949 111 90 16 5
1820 A special treat for kitties who don't use the litter box! 1.2342 0.04949 111 90 16 5
1821 Cat or no cat, I'm up 5 to 3. 1.2342 0.04781 111 89 18 4
1822 Maybe we should forget about including double reverse somersault with pike. 1.2342 0.04781 111 89 18 4
1823 Fluffy's new lithium regimen left her numb to familiar pleasures 1.2342 0.05112 111 91 14 6
1824 We'll see just how determined the cat is not to get wet. 1.2342 0.04138 111 88 21 2
1825 Fascinating! Her hatred of water is stronger than her hatred of human affection. 1.2342 0.04607 111 88 20 3
1826 Sure, sometimes people get upset when they find out I’ve superglued my cat to the beach ball, but it’s adorable on Instagram... 1.2342 0.04781 111 89 18 4
1827 Joe, I told you the third bottle would do the trick. 1.2342 0.04781 111 89 18 4
1828 I still think flipping a coin would be a more PETA correct way to settle who gets the stupid cat after the divorce. 1.2342 0.04781 111 89 18 4
1829 Relax kitty. Keep calm and enjoy it. It will be much worse if you tense up and dig in your claws. 1.2342 0.04236 111 86 24 1
1830 Watch out for the brown catnip, they said - but I didn't listen 1.2342 0.04425 111 87 22 2
1831 She is just so needy for attention. 1.2342 0.04781 111 89 18 4
1832 I think I'll pass on future social distancing games. 1.2342 0.04236 111 86 24 1
1833 See I told you they always land on top of the ball. 1.2342 0.04949 111 90 16 5
1834 The cat is having a ball on this vacation, and you thought he should stay home! 1.2342 0.04607 111 88 20 3
1835 Thank heaven for de-clawing. 1.2342 0.04236 111 86 24 1
1836 See – gravity is a weaker force than a cat’s desire to stay dry. 1.2342 0.04781 111 89 18 4
1837 a new place in hell !!! 1.2342 0.04607 111 88 20 3
1838 See dear, the cat’s having a ball. 1.2342 0.03721 111 91 17 3
1839 you’re right, of course ... it’s undoubtedly safer ... but the mountain lion was a far better upper body workout 1.2342 0.04781 111 89 18 4
1840 It's not exactly like playing fetch with Fido. 1.2342 0.04607 111 88 20 3
1841 This is exactly why I'm a cat person. 1.2342 0.04607 111 88 20 3
1842 Much better! Fluffy sucks at “Marco Polo” 1.2342 0.04781 111 89 18 4
1843 I hope they open the beaches soon. 1.2342 0.04332 111 89 18 3
1844 I think he really likes it when we stay home more often. 1.2342 0.04607 111 88 20 3
1845 Quick... who's taking the video? 1.2342 0.04607 111 88 20 3
1846 It's fine, she must have at least 4 or 5 lives left. 1.2342 0.04949 111 90 16 5
1847 Whoa, okay guys, the psychokinesis was fun but seriously I cannot get this coat wet 1.2340 0.05542 94 77 12 5
1848 Learn telekinesis. Our Covid checklist is almost complete. 1.2326 0.05889 86 71 10 5
1849 I wish I was a panther tho. 1.2323 0.05142 99 80 15 4
1850 Honey, you think this will make Sportscenter? 1.2323 0.04938 99 79 17 3
1851 I am higher and more important than my servants! 1.2323 0.04938 99 79 17 3
1852 I don’t think this is what your therapist meant by “team building” activities. 1.2323 0.05142 99 80 15 4
1853 Athena has mastered work life balance 1.2323 0.04938 99 79 17 3
1854 The Cat:"why god why?...why did corona had to happen" 1.2323 0.04725 99 78 19 2
1855 She's nervous, but she's doing it! And you said that cat therapist was just a scam. 1.2323 0.05142 99 80 15 4
1856 Yes! I’m in the universe where the cat remains dry. 1.2323 0.05529 99 82 11 6
1857 One glass of wine and she's already torturing my cat 1.2323 0.05339 99 81 13 5
1858 Honey, I had a lot of fun with you this weekend while cat sitting. 1.2323 0.04725 99 78 19 2
1859 According to the will, after exercise she gets a belly rub and a can of Tuna Delight for dinner. 1.2323 0.04938 99 79 17 3
1860 Yeah, Miss Kitty likes this way more than cat-minton. 1.2323 0.05142 99 80 15 4
1861 It’s part of his daily exercise during lockdown 1.2323 0.04017 99 80 17 2
1862 That reminds me, we need to tell the kids to quit running near the pool 1.2323 0.05142 99 80 15 4
1863 Picatso is unamused. 1.2323 0.02619 99 83 14 2
1864 I wish they would buy a dog, they love this sort of stuff! 1.2323 0.04725 99 78 19 2
1865 I told you superglue would work on cat paws. 1.2323 0.05142 99 80 15 4
1866 Tonight's meow is dry with tart undertones. 1.2321 0.04390 112 90 19 3
1867 This is not what I meant when I asked for a highball. 1.2321 0.04909 112 91 16 5
1868 I miss Schroedinger. 1.2315 0.05361 108 90 11 7
1869 I wonder what Schrodinger would say about this one! 1.2315 0.04853 108 87 17 4
1870 On the count of three, reverse direction. 1.2315 0.04671 108 86 19 3
1871 So much better than watching cat videos! 1.2315 0.05028 108 88 15 5
1872 ‘Catch as cat can’ 1.2315 0.04482 108 85 21 2
1873 Isn't sequestering such an opportunity to be creative? 1.2315 0.04482 108 85 21 2
1874 Be careful not to get my pussy wet, Jim! 1.2315 0.04853 108 87 17 4
1875 When I said I wanted a rescue cat, I didn't know it would be rescued from the circus. 1.2315 0.05028 108 88 15 5
1876 Finally, our first Tik Tok video! 1.2315 0.03859 108 87 19 2
1877 You're right -- It is a weird coincidence he never does this when we have our phones. 1.2315 0.04671 108 86 19 3
1878 So THIS is what the humans have felt like for 5 months. 1.2300 0.05291 100 82 13 5
1879 In every strange situation - stay calm 1.2286 0.04738 105 84 18 3
1880 I hate this game. 1.2286 0.04928 105 85 16 4
1881 Are you done? 1.2286 0.05110 105 86 14 5
1882 I hate summer. 1.2286 0.04928 105 85 16 4
1883 Honey, if you’re also seeing the cat standing in the middle of the ball, remind me not to buy this wine anymore. 1.2286 0.05110 105 86 14 5
1884 I shouldn't have traded my eighth life for that DVD box set of Friends 1.2286 0.03769 105 84 19 1
1885 Marco... why did we let him talk us into playing this? 1.2286 0.05110 105 86 14 5
1886 Think they’re taking the ‘cats always land on their feet’ adage a bit too far 1.2286 0.05110 105 86 14 5
1887 So who’s winning? 1.2286 0.04541 105 83 20 2
1888 I preferred their out-of-home Wine Wednesdays 1.2286 0.04928 105 85 16 4
1889 I hate when you started to drink 1.2286 0.04738 105 84 18 3
1890 December 31, 2019: “I know what they say about black cats but I’m not gonna let superstitions ruin the new year!” 1.2286 0.05110 105 86 14 5
1891 This quarantine has been a waste of all nine lives 1.2286 0.04928 105 85 16 4
1892 Cat on a pool game poof 1.2286 0.05110 105 86 14 5
1893 See I told you honey, all our marital problems that have been exacerbated by lockdown would melt away with a new addition to the family 1.2286 0.04541 105 83 20 2
1894 Whatever bad luck it brings, it won’t be nearly as bad as what’s happened this year! 1.2286 0.04334 105 82 22 1
1895 If Cheryl and Bob don’t recognize this as a cry for help, I’m going to jump. 1.2286 0.05286 105 87 12 6
1896 If he didn’t want to get wet, he shouldn’t have been sitting on the ball in the first place. 1.2286 0.04738 105 84 18 3
1897 Honey, have you seen the cat? 1.2286 0.05457 105 88 10 7
1898 Goodbye, cruel world 1.2286 0.04928 105 85 16 4
1899 It’s a common myth they hate water... 1.2286 0.04738 105 84 18 3
1900 I wonder if now is a good time to tell her I’m allergic to cats 1.2286 0.04928 105 85 16 4
1901 Just keep your eye on the ball, dear 1.2286 0.04928 105 85 16 4
1902 Are you doing it or am I? 1.2286 0.05457 105 88 10 7
1903 Nothing like a game of Schrodinger's ball to take my mind off things 1.2286 0.05110 105 86 14 5
1904 So once this thing is over, who gets the cat? 1.2286 0.04541 105 83 20 2
1905 These Roomba pool cleaners are just as much fun. 1.2286 0.04928 105 85 16 4
1906 I'm not sure why you're surprised. It's 2020 -- what HAVEN'T we seen? 1.2286 0.03247 105 85 19 1
1907 Whoever dumps her first gets the next drink! 1.2286 0.05110 105 86 14 5
1908 If only these two knew how close it is to the end of the world. Wheeee. 1.2286 0.05110 105 86 14 5
1909 This is so much safer for the cat than that frisbee toss game. 1.2286 0.04928 105 85 16 4
1910 Nobody told me this is what life number 9 would be like. 1.2286 0.04541 105 83 20 2
1911 Go to Daddy, Friskie. 1.2286 0.04928 105 85 16 4
1912 Personally, I'm glad we clipped her claws. 1.2286 0.04541 105 83 20 2
1913 I don't understand why those other seven cats ran away. 1.2286 0.04928 105 85 16 4
1914 This happens every time the cat drinks from your glass. 1.2286 0.04928 105 85 16 4
1915 We're all in this together. 1.2286 0.04928 105 85 16 4
1916 Walter had always wondered why they had declawed him--now, he knew, as his anal sphincter puckered tightly. 1.2286 0.04738 105 84 18 3
1917 Relax.We know CPurrR. 1.2286 0.04928 105 85 16 4
1918 Look what the ball dragged in. 1.2286 0.04541 105 83 20 2
1919 Honey, don't be in the pool if he falls off, he hates water. 1.2286 0.04738 105 84 18 3
1920 They really need to get pro sports back in business 1.2286 0.04640 105 86 15 4
1921 What do you think, Schrödinger? Will he throw the ball? 1.2286 0.04928 105 85 16 4
1922 Isn’t it great that we’ve figured out how to maintain our sanity. 1.2286 0.04928 105 85 16 4
1923 Thank god when the pandemic is over. 1.2286 0.04738 105 84 18 3
1924 Like I tried to tell the last guy, she's only bad luck if you drop her. 1.2286 0.04928 105 85 16 4
1925 Damn, these Facebook challenges! 1.2286 0.04738 105 84 18 3
1926 Life1, life 2, life 3, life 4 . . . 1.2286 0.05110 105 86 14 5
1927 I fail to see the connection, Bob. How does a cat on a beach ball over a pool of water represent 2020?...Who am I in this metaphor??? 1.2286 0.04928 105 85 16 4
1928 It’s okay. She’ll hold on. She hates water. 1.2286 0.04928 105 85 16 4
1929 I can feel it, this is going viral. 1.2286 0.04541 105 83 20 2
1930 It's so cool - the cat got us a people toy! 1.2286 0.04541 105 83 20 2
1931 Careful! We're on the ninth life. 1.2286 0.05110 105 86 14 5
1932 Once he gets bored with this I'm really not sure what's next. 1.2286 0.04541 105 83 20 2
1933 What a great change from that tired old ball of yarn! 1.2286 0.04738 105 84 18 3
1934 Do you think we should go outside and see other people today? 1.2286 0.03103 105 87 16 2
1935 Top of the world, Mittens! 1.2286 0.04738 105 84 18 3
1936 We're practicing for the divorce. 1.2286 0.04928 105 85 16 4
1937 This was a lot more fun with our dog. 1.2286 0.04227 105 84 19 2
1938 Last time he'll leap onto the refrigerator, that's a given! 1.2286 0.05110 105 86 14 5
1939 This levitation trick will absolutely kill at the Animal Shelter benefit, Frank. 1.2286 0.05286 105 87 12 6
1940 She even sleeps with me. 1.2286 0.04541 105 83 20 2
1941 Bella thinks this will help her to conceptualize her new water ballet 1.2286 0.04541 105 83 20 2
1942 At least two of us are having a ball. 1.2286 0.04738 105 84 18 3
1943 It seemed like he wanted to Zoom. 1.2268 0.05386 97 80 12 5
1944 Let the summer of Vodka Catatonics commence! 1.2268 0.05386 97 80 12 5
1945 Our new personal trainer is a bit weird. 1.2268 0.04146 97 82 11 4
1946 catapults come back in vogue during stressful times! 1.2264 0.04503 106 84 20 2
1947 Just because we just spent 3 months together doesn’t mean I need to be included ALL the time now 1.2264 0.03618 106 85 20 1
1948 This is not as fun as I make it look - cat 1.2264 0.05240 106 88 12 6
1949 Please don’t drop the ball 1.2264 0.04503 106 84 20 2
1950 Cat at the center of a custody battle 1.2264 0.04503 106 84 20 2
1951 I despise these family getaways 1.2264 0.04886 106 86 16 4
1952 I wonder why cats don't trust humans! 1.2264 0.04886 106 86 16 4
1953 We don't have a cat. 1.2264 0.04503 106 84 20 2
1954 Before we fully embrace our new progressive mindsets, let us first indulge in one last illogical pastime. 1.2264 0.05066 106 87 14 5
1955 I usually don’t let my cat out of the bag on the first date. 1.2264 0.03224 106 91 11 4
1956 I wonder if she was this indifferent to the previous occupants? 1.2264 0.04886 106 86 16 4
1957 Now I know why that cat sat on a mat 1.2264 0.04886 106 86 16 4
1958 ‘’As long as he still pays me by the hour.’’ 1.2264 0.05066 106 87 14 5
1959 The Cats Meow 1.2264 0.04503 106 84 20 2
1960 The pandemic got so long that Whisker’s second to last life became expendable. 1.2264 0.04503 106 84 20 2
1961 Surprisingly, many states are embracing the new ‘cat-on-a-beach-ball’ social distancing recommendations. 1.2264 0.04886 106 86 16 4
1962 finding banana bread baking too bourgeois, Sharon and Stanley practice telekinesis during quarantine 1.2264 0.04503 106 87 14 4
1963 Meowy Vey 1.2264 0.04698 106 85 18 3
1964 Two sets of blind eyes, #BCM.” Because even black cats get a bad rap. ✊ 1.2264 0.05066 106 87 14 5
1965 I still think it was cruel to get him declawed 1.2264 0.05066 106 87 14 5
1966 Man’s best friend, huh? 1.2264 0.04886 106 86 16 4
1967 Why did I deign to do this? 1.2264 0.04886 106 86 16 4
1968 Do you think the cat is judging us for having glass by the pool? 1.2264 0.04698 106 85 18 3
1969 Relax dear. Dr. Schrödinger has reassured me that his cat is used to experiments. 1.2264 0.03224 106 86 19 1
1970 You know, this is one cat toy I didn't think Fluffy would take to. 1.2264 0.04698 106 85 18 3
1971 We don't need a scoreboard, the first one to drop the ball goes for the wine. 1.2264 0.04402 106 86 17 3
1972 Tails, you buy the next round. 1.2264 0.04698 106 85 18 3
1973 In the end, it’s all just about balls and pussy. 1.2264 0.05240 106 88 12 6
1974 Rockin our staycation! 1.2264 0.04886 106 86 16 4
1975 Okay, bring in the dog. 1.2264 0.04886 106 86 16 4
1976 I tell ya, those folks down at PETA got this one dead wrong. 1.2264 0.05066 106 87 14 5
1977 I think a couple more times and she'll be scared enough to jump in. 1.2264 0.04503 106 84 20 2
1978 Humans 1.2264 0.05573 106 90 8 8
1979 Didn't we leave him sprawled across your keyboard? 1.2264 0.04886 106 86 16 4
1980 Amazing how through sheer loathing she can hover equidistant from both us and the water! 1.2264 0.04698 106 85 18 3
1981 Kitty in the Middle is my favorite drinking game. 1.2264 0.05240 106 88 12 6
1982 Can I use one of nine lives NOW? 1.2264 0.04503 106 84 20 2
1983 Who would've thought God was a mouse? Welcome to hell, buddy. 1.2264 0.05066 106 87 14 5
1984 At least it's not a hair ball 1.2264 0.04886 106 86 16 4
1985 Should've gone for the ball of yarn instead. 1.2264 0.05240 106 88 12 6
1986 Volley Cat ! 1.2264 0.05066 106 87 14 5
1987 First recorded case of ball-cat levitation 1.2264 0.00948 106 91 14 1
1988 And this is why they shouldn't start drinking this early... 1.2264 0.04402 106 86 17 3
1989 It's fun, just pretend this is the world, and Shadow is humanity. 1.2264 0.04503 106 84 20 2
1990 Look Marco.......Polo wants to play! 1.2264 0.03618 106 90 12 4
1991 He seems to like this better than the water polo. 1.2264 0.04698 106 85 18 3
1992 The pool party ended with a nice game of cat-pong. 1.2264 0.05066 106 87 14 5
1993 See! Put a little chardonnay into Fluffy's water dish, and she's the life of the party! 1.2264 0.04698 106 85 18 3
1994 Next life wins. 1.2264 0.04698 106 85 18 3
1995 When do you think he'll realize he's not the monkey in the middle? 1.2264 0.04503 106 84 20 2
1996 Patience Precious, we'll do the hot tin roof thing next. 1.2264 0.05066 106 87 14 5
1997 And you didn't want to get him declawed... 1.2264 0.05066 106 87 14 5
1998 Daddy can't handle when you pop that, pussy 1.2264 0.04299 106 88 14 4
1999 It's working! Now hide the keyboard. 1.2264 0.04503 106 84 20 2
2000 They're mysterious creatures. 1.2264 0.04503 106 84 20 2
2001 Don't worry, he's got eight lives to go 1.2264 0.04698 106 85 18 3
2002 This game lasts much longer now that we got Kitty declawed! 1.2264 0.04698 106 85 18 3
2003 When I told you I was freaky and into watersports, this is NOT what I meant! 1.2264 0.04698 106 85 18 3
2004 This is one of those times Whiskers would have rather been a St. Bernard. 1.2264 0.04886 106 86 16 4
2005 It's an old congressional debate excersize - the person that bucks the cat off has to harangue the other player for not saving the cat "when they had the chance". They say it's how Plato's students practiced the art of rhetoric. 1.2262 0.05952 84 70 9 5
2006 After their second glass, the Van Allen's worshipped the return of the king. 1.2262 0.05952 84 70 9 5
2007 After this, it's the slack wire. 1.2250 0.05179 80 66 11 3
2008 Is it safe to post cat videos yet? 1.2245 0.05031 98 82 11 5
2009 Drop me into the water and I'll have your wine. You people should not even be a-meow-sed then. 1.2245 0.05135 98 80 14 4
2010 Extreme Staycationing: coming this summer to a household near you 1.2245 0.04707 98 80 15 3
2011 And I thought hairballs were bad. 1.2245 0.04925 98 79 16 3
2012 It was all fun and games until someone got ringworms. 1.2245 0.04707 98 78 18 2
2013 This angle is good right? 1.2245 0.04925 98 79 16 3
2014 Ok sweetie we've never arrived this far, now set the ball on fire 1.2245 0.04594 98 80 15 3
2015 I told you to leave Schrödinger’s cat alone! 1.2245 0.05135 98 80 14 4
2016 Careful. She only has one life left. 1.2245 0.05529 98 82 10 6
2017 This is fun! Let’s do the kids’ custody next. 1.2245 0.05135 98 80 14 4
2018 It's gonna be some hairball 1.2245 0.05135 98 80 14 4
2019 Cat pong! 1.2245 0.04925 98 79 16 3
2020 Nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana Catman! 1.2245 0.05335 98 81 12 5
2021 Let’s go bowling tonight. 1.2245 0.05135 98 80 14 4
2022 She loves being Catapulted! 1.2245 0.04925 98 79 16 3
2023 The vet said she needed to get out more. 1.2245 0.04925 98 79 16 3
2024 See? Cats have excellent balance. 1.2245 0.04478 98 77 20 1
2025 Ok you’re right he can do it. Now let’s try our monkey. 1.2245 0.04925 98 79 16 3
2026 So it's agreed then. First one to bleed loses. 1.2245 0.05335 98 81 12 5
2027 It was HIS idea to have you neutered! 1.2245 0.05335 98 81 12 5
2028 This is the first time he prefers the ball instead of the box it came in. 1.2245 0.04925 98 79 16 3
2029 That’s why we didn’t get a dog. 1.2245 0.04925 98 79 16 3
2030 138, 139, 140.......Can we take a quick break? I need to have a sip of wine and Snowflake is bored 1.2245 0.04925 98 79 16 3
2031 Let’s tell Katie we played pool with her cat! 1.2245 0.03980 98 80 16 2
2032 I bet now she is glad we had her declawed. 1.2245 0.05529 98 82 10 6
2033 This one is looking like a cat’s game. 1.2245 0.05135 98 80 14 4
2034 Look honey, I’m a cat-apult. 1.2245 0.05135 98 80 14 4
2035 '' When I was a kid we called this 'Monkey in the Middle'.'' 1.2245 0.05335 98 81 12 5
2036 You had him declawed, right? 1.2245 0.04925 98 79 16 3
2037 This is his staycation as much as it is ours. 1.2245 0.04707 98 78 18 2
2038 When I get off, I'm gonna take one of THEIR lives 1.2243 0.04466 107 85 20 2
2039 Whatever it takes to get through Covid… 1.2243 0.04466 107 85 20 2
2040 This is why I wanted a dog. 1.2243 0.03711 107 89 15 3
2041 I never asked for this. 1.2243 0.04659 107 86 18 3
2042 During times like these it’s not enough to be non-fun. I need to be anti-fun. 1.2243 0.04659 107 86 18 3
2043 If he falls off into your side of the pool, you take a sip 1.2243 0.04659 107 86 18 3
2044 Take a sip every time she glares menacingly at you. 1.2243 0.04659 107 86 18 3
2045 'See, cats have way better balance than dogs'. 1.2243 0.05196 107 89 12 6
2046 This isn’t what I expected from my 9th life 1.2243 0.05023 107 88 14 5
2047 The New Normal is hard on pets, honey. They are also under pressure to perform 1.2243 0.04466 107 85 20 2
2048 Use the Force, dear. This is the most powerful Sith we've ever faced 1.2243 0.04659 107 86 18 3
2049 Jedi training day 2 1.2243 0.05196 107 89 12 6
2050 And I thought the last few lives were bad 1.2243 0.04659 107 86 18 3
2051 Is kitty getting dizzy or SCARED? 1.2243 0.04844 107 87 16 4
2052 Nice fur ball. 1.2243 0.04844 107 87 16 4
2053 Didn't I say no more hairballs? 1.2243 0.05023 107 88 14 5
2054 Don't ever give up, that darn cat is on his ninth life. 1.2243 0.04844 107 87 16 4
2055 Sorry we woke you. 1.2243 0.04659 107 86 18 3
2056 I swear he loves it. 1.2243 0.01786 107 88 19 0
2057 I think she needs an itsy bitsy teenie weenie yellow polka dot bikini! 1.2243 0.04263 107 84 22 1
2058 I always thought it was dogs that had an enormous misplaced faith in humans 1.2243 0.04466 107 85 20 2
2059 Humans don't understand the power of feline levitation. 1.2243 0.04844 107 87 16 4
2060 Ohh! At last he’s starting to play. 1.2243 0.04659 107 86 18 3
2061 I never thought I'd feel this free again after Covid. 1.2243 0.04659 107 86 18 3
2062 Ernestine,let us know when you're tired. 1.2243 0.04263 107 84 22 1
2063 Hey, at least we got Fluffy off of the keyboard! 1.2243 0.04844 107 87 16 4
2064 Don’t let it drop. Cats hate water. 1.2243 0.04263 107 84 22 1
2065 He's taken this 'aversion to water' thing a bit far, hasn't he? 1.2243 0.04844 107 87 16 4
2066 This should teach him not to complain about his travel crate. 1.2243 0.04844 107 87 16 4
2067 I like "cat ball" much better. Pickles fall off too easily. 1.2243 0.04466 107 85 20 2
2068 Fluffy died on the inside that day. Unfortunately he had eight more to go. 1.2243 0.05023 107 88 14 5
2069 You weren't kidding when you said your cat is afraid of water. 1.2243 0.04844 107 87 16 4
2070 Be careful! I don't want my wine to fall in the water. 1.2243 0.04659 107 86 18 3
2071 I don't know about you, but I'd prefer a dog and pony show. 1.2243 0.05196 107 89 12 6
2072 It used to be a challenge, but now it’s just a time suck. 1.2243 0.04466 107 90 12 5
2073 It's ok if this ends in cat-astrophe, I've got 9 lives 1.2243 0.05196 107 89 12 6
2074 Seven," "Eight," and "N-- 1.2243 0.04659 107 86 18 3
2075 If they drop me they die!! 1.2243 0.04659 107 86 18 3
2076 I said "Let's play catch ball!" not "cat ball." 1.2243 0.04466 107 85 20 2
2077 I wonder what a dog day afternoon is like 1.2243 0.04659 107 86 18 3
2078 See, there's nothing crazy about cat ladies! 1.2243 0.05196 107 89 12 6
2079 It's cuter when the dog and cat do it together. 1.2243 0.04263 107 84 22 1
2080 Now, isn't this more fun than having children? 1.2243 0.04466 107 85 20 2
2081 Go easy, she's pregnant 1.2243 0.04844 107 87 16 4
2082 She always hovers. 1.2243 0.04659 107 86 18 3
2083 She has a very well balanced temperament! 1.2243 0.04844 107 87 16 4
2084 He loves the water. 1.2243 0.04466 107 85 20 2
2085 At least one of us learned a new skill during quarantine. 1.2243 0.04659 107 86 18 3
2086 Well, I suppose this is more fun than yarn... 1.2243 0.04466 107 85 20 2
2087 I do this because I’m Union-residuals for all internet cat video usage. 1.2243 0.04466 107 85 20 2
2088 Note to self: no alcohol at the next staff party 1.2243 0.04844 107 87 16 4
2089 I had him declawed last week! 1.2243 0.04263 107 84 22 1
2090 No matter who wins, we're still not good enough. 1.2243 0.04659 107 86 18 3
2091 Fortunately, I have just suspended time by coming to you in the form of a cartoon. You can come downstairs and feed me now. 1.2243 0.04844 107 87 16 4
2092 Muffy does everything with me. Everything. 1.2243 0.04466 107 85 20 2
2093 Claws in, Fuzzy! 1.2243 0.04159 107 86 19 2
2094 Day 543 of no pool injuries came to a screeching halt! 1.2243 0.04844 107 87 16 4
2095 Next, lets try it with a catapult. 1.2243 0.04051 107 88 16 3
2096 So, you never played drown the cat before? 1.2243 0.05196 107 89 12 6
2097 He was tired of being on a hot tin roof. 1.2243 0.04844 107 87 16 4
2098 When he falls off, you save him. 1.2243 0.04466 107 85 20 2
2099 I wonder how long she'll stay up there,my arms are getting tired 1.2243 0.04659 107 86 18 3
2100 Catatonic sure has mellowd since the lobotomy. 1.2243 0.04659 107 86 18 3
2101 After a few drinks the cat had nerves of steel. 1.2243 0.04844 107 87 16 4
2102 Careful dear, if its a black cat then its life matters! 1.2243 0.04466 107 85 20 2
2103 It's so nice to have a playful cat. 1.2243 0.04844 107 87 16 4
2104 I'll talk with the vet about maybe having her affixed. 1.2243 0.05023 107 88 14 5
2105 Are you filming this? It’s going to be gold! 1.2243 0.03060 107 89 16 2
2106 I think those catnip brownies we made him just kicked in. 1.2243 0.04659 107 86 18 3
2107 He looks like he’s enjoying it 1.2243 0.04263 107 84 22 1
2108 When his claws burst the ball the real action begins..... 1.2243 0.04263 107 84 22 1
2109 She’s an outdoor cat. 1.2243 0.04844 107 87 16 4
2110 It's seven years bad luck if it pops." 1.2243 0.04466 107 85 20 2
2111 Hang on fluffy 1.2233 0.04766 103 83 17 3
2112 Don't tell him it's called "monkey" in the middle! 1.2233 0.05150 103 85 13 5
2113 Ennui? What’s that? 1.2222 0.04620 108 87 18 3
2114 I'm just going to say it, Francine. To say he loves attention doesn't even begin to explain this. . 1.2222 0.04620 108 87 18 3
2115 I bet you are wondering how I got here, don’t expect a flashback, I am at a loss my self. 1.2222 0.04981 108 89 14 5
2116 Cats. They’re hydrophobic. 1.2222 0.04804 108 88 16 4
2117 I think he’s finally getting over his fear of water 1.2222 0.04019 108 84 24 0
2118 We didn’t have her declawed to save the birds. 1.2222 0.05087 99 81 14 4
2119 Boy I need a glass of Pinot meow after this 1.2222 0.04881 99 80 16 3
2120 I will pay the bars to take these humans back. (@tara_henn ) 1.2222 0.05087 99 81 14 4
2121 I came in like a wreeecking baaaall 1.2222 0.04881 99 80 16 3
2122 g-g-guys...hey guys...I'm on my last life, you guys! 1.2222 0.04981 108 89 14 5
2123 I told you if we named him Gary he'd be into water sports. 1.2222 0.05286 99 82 12 5
2124 It just didn’t feel right to move him 1.2222 0.05188 90 73 14 3
2125 Look, Harold! I think he's finally enjoying our company! 1.2222 0.04620 108 87 18 3
2126 « I will stay zen! My claws are not coming out! » 1.2222 0.04804 108 88 16 4
2127 Well, this was not the fun with a ball I was thinking about 1.2222 0.04981 108 89 14 5
2128 They're lucky that my claws are trimmed 1.2222 0.04438 99 78 20 1
2129 Well the cats out the bag 1.2222 0.04881 99 80 16 3
2130 Honey, I'm the lawyer. Technically, you asked for me to play with THESE in the hot tub on your birthday. 1.2222 0.04429 108 86 20 2
2131 Who invited the cat? 1.2222 0.04620 108 87 18 3
2132 Welcome to this year's production of Tennessee Williams' Cat on a Hot Tin Roof! 1.2222 0.04881 99 80 16 3
2133 Who is the ‘scaredy-cat’ now? 1.2222 0.04881 99 80 16 3
2134 Our Roomba broke. 1.2222 0.04981 108 89 14 5
2135 As a dog lover, I confess, I’ve always struggled to feel the attraction....but my goodness, he may be a keeper. 1.2222 0.04881 99 80 16 3
2136 You can lead a cat to water but you can't make him sink. 1.2222 0.04429 108 86 20 2
2137 Alley-oop cat! 1.2222 0.05286 99 82 12 5
2138 Her life is in your hands. 1.2222 0.04620 108 87 18 3
2139 I told you to pick the one that said no pets allowed. 1.2222 0.05286 99 82 12 5
2140 Don’t worry, she sanitized her paws. 1.2222 0.04881 99 80 16 3
2141 I knew that naming the cat Viral was going to pay off. 1.2222 0.04881 99 80 16 3
2142 I have an idea I'd like to run by the people at Guinness World Records. 1.2222 0.04019 108 84 24 0
2143 Fine tuning the party trick before the guests arrive. 1.2222 0.04429 108 86 20 2
2144 I never imagined YouTube could make us millionaires! 1.2222 0.05151 108 90 12 6
2145 Whoever misses has to clean the litter box. 1.2222 0.04229 108 85 22 1
2146 Cat's name: DeClaude 1.2222 0.04881 99 80 16 3
2147 Don't know what she's going to judge without a net or boundaries. 1.2222 0.04881 99 80 16 3
2148 If this isn't the cat's meow. 1.2222 0.04881 99 80 16 3
2149 I thought th expression was 'belling the cat.'" 1.2222 0.04620 108 87 18 3
2150 They've got their pandemic wine to get through this, thankfully, I've got medical catnip. 1.2222 0.04429 108 86 20 2
2151 He never did get use to water 1.2222 0.05663 99 84 8 7
2152 Did you hear it? The cat just said “feed me”. 1.2222 0.04774 99 82 13 4
2153 You're right. It is more fun when you are drunk! 1.2222 0.04429 108 86 20 2
2154 Honestly Westly, aren’t you glad we didn’t have children 1.2222 0.04881 99 80 16 3
2155 I wonder if cats swim? 1.2222 0.04881 99 80 16 3
2156 That's What I Call Ballin The Cat 1.2222 0.04620 108 87 18 3
2157 Let's try to beat our record of zero so far. 1.2222 0.04620 108 87 18 3
2158 One claw and it’s over 1.2222 0.04981 108 89 14 5
2159 And just as suddenly, Mr. Whiskers lost interest in playing with the ball. 1.2222 0.04804 108 88 16 4
2160 Tails you lose, heads I win... 1.2222 0.04438 99 83 12 4
2161 This is my ball, you already got the sofa for the last months. 1.2222 0.04620 108 87 18 3
2162 If we do this with our arms, does the perspective angle look like we're playing with the ball? 1.2222 0.04941 90 74 13 3
2163 I'm having so much fun I forgot why we're getting divorced. 1.2222 0.04620 108 87 18 3
2164 Be careful he only has three lives left 1.2222 0.05087 99 81 14 4
2165 When did Pickles get a tiktok? 1.2212 0.04918 104 85 15 4
2166 With the summer Olympics canceled the Smiths create tik tok video games with catastrophic consequences. 1.2212 0.04523 104 83 19 2
2167 ‘Pool ball not wool ball, Larry’ 1.2212 0.04523 104 83 19 2
2168 Lockdown effect number 12: Clingy Cat. 1.2212 0.04523 104 83 19 2
2169 'Fine, I'll indulge. You only live nine times, right?' 1.2212 0.04725 104 84 17 3
2170 The Cat: 'I'm kinda enjoying this but I dont want them to know, I want them to leave my house, now!' 1.2212 0.05105 104 86 13 5
2171 I call it ‘Kitten in the Middle’ 1.2212 0.04523 104 83 19 2
2172 It’s 2020. Anything goes. 1.2212 0.04918 104 85 15 4
2173 Quarantine has to end eventually... 1.2212 0.04725 104 84 17 3
2174 I would give two lives to escape this summer fun in the sun. 1.2212 0.04523 104 82 19 2
2175 Are you entertained? Because I'm not. 1.2212 0.04918 104 85 15 4
2176 Help me, I am stuck in the white privileged asylum 1.2212 0.04918 104 85 15 4
2177 They don’t really expect me to move, do they? 1.2212 0.04725 104 84 17 3
2178 Our co-parenting counselor will be impressed. 1.2212 0.05105 104 86 13 5
2179 He had had a sinking feeling when they'd first suggested the time share in Reno, the vineyard in Albany, or the Beach Party screening at Film Form, but he'd had no idea it would all lead to this. 1.2212 0.04523 104 83 19 2
2180 This just fosters resentment. 1.2212 0.04918 104 85 15 4
2181 Interference! 1.2212 0.05284 104 87 11 6
2182 Bob, what's this hissing sound? 1.2212 0.05105 104 86 13 5
2183 I used to be more of a dog ball person. 1.2212 0.04523 104 83 19 2
2184 Cat Ball: Living the American Dream. 1.2212 0.04725 104 84 17 3
2185 Keep it up with the force! 1.2212 0.04725 104 84 17 3
2186 See, his dislike of water is stronger than Earth's gravity! 1.2212 0.04523 104 83 19 2
2187 Wine helps my balance. 1.2212 0.04523 104 83 19 2
2188 She's been so cooperative since her declawing. 1.2212 0.04523 104 83 19 2
2189 Cat thought bubble: My bad, this always happens when they are drinking. 1.2212 0.04312 104 82 21 1
2190 The de-claw was bad enough...now they're rubbing it in. 1.2212 0.03854 104 85 17 2
2191 I hope this cat is declawed. 1.2212 0.04089 104 81 23 0
2192 Why? What are YOUR first dates like?" 1.2212 0.04312 104 82 21 1
2193 Are you sure the cat whisperer recommended this? 1.2212 0.04312 104 82 21 1
2194 Loser has to rescue the cat and administer CPR 1.2212 0.04918 104 85 15 4
2195 This is why we declawed it. 1.2212 0.04523 104 83 19 2
2196 I don't think this is what they meant when they said you could work remotely. 1.2212 0.04312 104 82 21 1
2197 We have to unglue him somehow. 1.2212 0.04312 104 82 21 1
2198 Thanks for gluing your cat to the ball. I always wanted to try this. 1.2212 0.04725 104 84 17 3
2199 And you said she never plays ball 1.2212 0.04523 104 83 19 2
2200 And for our next trick, let's make the cat smile! 1.2212 0.04918 104 85 15 4
2201 I don't give a mouse's ass how, but I have to get out of here. 1.2212 0.05105 104 86 13 5
2202 Quarantine circus act 1.2212 0.04312 104 82 21 1
2203 Wine snobs make up new sports during lockdown. 1.2212 0.04523 104 83 19 2
2204 Hercules is so happy we had to stay-cay. 1.2212 0.04918 104 85 15 4
2205 It's a scratch game 1.2212 0.04523 104 83 19 2
2206 I hate to say it, but at the end of the day, it is what it is. 1.2212 0.04918 104 85 15 4
2207 How can she do that?! It's in her contract. The "No Claws in balls" clause. 1.2212 0.05105 104 86 13 5
2208 Is it just me, or are the mushrooms kicking in? 1.2212 0.04918 104 85 15 4
2209 It always sits on the computer when I try to type too. 1.2212 0.04725 104 84 17 3
2210 At the next level, it's an eagle. 1.2212 0.04918 104 85 15 4
2211 Now this is what I call white privilege. 1.2212 0.04725 104 84 17 3
2212 If she falls off, you have to be first to yell "CATASTROPHE"! Otherwise, you lose the round. 1.2212 0.04523 104 84 16 3
2213 Normally the referee stays on the sidelines." 1.2212 0.04312 104 82 21 1
2214 Have you noticed? He’s really calmed down since we neutered him. 1.2212 0.04312 104 82 21 1
2215 I own a cat, so there is no such thing as just the two of us. 1.2212 0.04523 104 83 19 2
2216 Let's drink every time the ball gets punctured. 1.2212 0.04918 104 85 15 4
2217 The humans are even running out of things to fight about 1.2200 0.04623 100 80 18 2
2218 Why didn’t we bring the wine closer to the pool? 1.2200 0.05041 100 82 14 4
2219 Well I suppose her profile did say she was a cat lover... 1.2200 0.04837 100 81 16 3
2220 Pussy got the ball rollin 1.2200 0.05041 100 82 14 4
2221 It’s an optical illusion. Hurry up. Draw us. 1.2200 0.04623 100 80 18 2
2222 So THIS is why Fido ran away... 1.2200 0.04837 100 81 16 3
2223 Remember when we used our powers for good?” “That was before we got the pool 1.2200 0.05238 100 83 12 5
2224 Another day, another week, another neglected backyard pool rediscovered due to beach closures. 1.2200 0.04623 100 80 18 2
2225 Primary suspects of cat’s murder: Curiosity, and these two. 1.2200 0.04623 100 80 18 2
2226 Home workouts are boring 1.2200 0.04623 100 80 18 2
2227 This super glue of yours really works 1.2200 0.05041 100 82 14 4
2228 Well, the cat’s out of the bag. Here ya go. 1.2200 0.04399 100 79 20 1
2229 This is not what I had in mind when I told them to start getting out of my house more... 1.2200 0.05041 100 82 14 4
2230 It was in that moment Mr. Whiskers realized that complete power over Miriam and Burt was not what he cracked it up to be. 1.2200 0.04399 100 84 12 4
2231 It’s not working, John. He won’t move. 1.2200 0.04623 100 80 18 2
2232 I think I’m a little bit cat in the middle. 1.2200 0.05041 100 82 14 4
2233 At least we have a pool 1.2200 0.04837 100 81 16 3
2234 The time Mortimer really regretted being stubborn and not moving, because he knew this wasn’t going to end well. 1.2200 0.04623 100 80 18 2
2235 I should’ve gone to law school. 1.2200 0.05041 100 82 14 4
2236 I wish I was a dog person 1.2200 0.04837 100 81 16 3
2237 Our time here in earth has ended. I’d thank you but I never really liked you that much. 1.2200 0.04837 100 81 16 3
2238 This wasn’t what I had in mind when you told me we were going to have a ball. 1.2200 0.04837 100 81 16 3
2239 It’s the end of the world as we know it and I’m like... 1.2200 0.04837 100 81 16 3
2240 I’m going to need something a lot stronger than their wine when this is over. 1.2200 0.04837 100 81 16 3
2241 Remember Brexit? 1.2200 0.04837 100 81 16 3
2242 What time is bowling tonight? 1.2200 0.04837 100 81 16 3
2243 The pet shop was out of flying squirrels. 1.2200 0.05041 100 82 14 4
2244 It's from Garfield's workout video. 1.2200 0.04837 100 81 16 3
2245 Count on her to always be the coolest cat at the pool party. 1.2200 0.05041 100 82 14 4
2246 If you want to make on YouTube, you need to commit! 1.2200 0.04837 100 81 16 3
2247 Why is this kinda stuff always easier when you're drinking. 1.2200 0.05041 100 82 13 4
2248 I bet this will change his tune about being declawed! 1.2200 0.05041 100 82 14 4
2249 Cat on a hot plastic ball 1.2200 0.04837 100 81 16 3
2250 Best staycation ever! 1.2200 0.04837 100 81 16 3
2251 It's all fun and games until someone shows their claws. 1.2200 0.05238 100 83 12 5
2252 None of that hot tin roof stuff for Kitty. She’s strictly a cat on a cool, wet beach ball. 1.2200 0.04623 100 80 18 2
2253 Cat on a Hot Beach Ball 1.2200 0.04399 100 79 20 1
2254 Enough of this cat man do thing. 1.2200 0.05041 100 82 14 4
2255 I dreamed I was a magical cat, flying over my magical pool on my magic beach ball, when these god-awful people showed up with cheap champagne... 1.2200 0.05041 100 82 14 4
2256 Who ever thought a cat would get bored enough just Sheltering In Place? 1.2200 0.05041 100 82 14 4
2257 Hopefully you got enough superglue on him! 1.2200 0.04837 100 81 16 3
2258 You tell him that he's afraid of water! 1.2200 0.05238 100 83 12 5
2259 What a fur ball! 1.2200 0.04837 100 81 16 3
2260 Whatever, at least she's no longer sitting on a hot tin roof. 1.2200 0.04837 100 81 16 3
2261 What's become of us, Craig? 1.2200 0.05427 100 84 10 6
2262 It’s funny when she gets wet, until she scratches your eyes out. 1.2200 0.05041 100 82 14 4
2263 Gosh these pandemic cartoons really suck. 1.2200 0.04837 100 81 16 3
2264 The Force is strong with these two. 1.2200 0.05427 100 84 10 6
2265 He's still angry that I got up from the couch. 1.2200 0.04837 100 81 16 3
2266 He'll show up. They never come when you call. 1.2200 0.05427 100 84 10 6
2267 Ah , we finally got the right mixture of gin and tonic for fluffy to play with us! 1.2200 0.04837 100 81 16 3
2268 I wouldn't worry. If he can ride around on a Roomba, this should be as easy as falling off a log. 1.2200 0.04283 100 81 17 2
2269 Look how funny this isn’t... 1.2200 0.04837 100 81 16 3
2270 Sheltering has really upped our game. 1.2200 0.04623 100 80 18 2
2271 Garf was right—people are so easy to train. 1.2200 0.04837 100 81 15 3
2272 You could never do this with a dog. 1.2200 0.05427 100 84 10 6
2273 The breeder said that his father was a seal point. 1.2200 0.05041 100 82 14 4
2274 Oh sure, he' likes to ride the Roomba, but he just loves a good game of catch, especially if he doesn't get wet. 1.2200 0.05041 100 81 14 4
2275 I'm so glad we had her declawed! 1.2200 0.04623 100 80 18 2
2276 You seemed so excited when I tried to explain this at work... 1.2200 0.04623 100 80 18 2
2277 honestly, babe, getting cancelled may be the best thing that ever happened to me! 1.2200 0.04837 100 81 16 3
2278 Better than a hair ball. 1.2200 0.04623 100 80 18 2
2279 Gorilla Glue Gone Wild 1.2200 0.04399 100 79 20 1
2280 Edwin and Bonnie insist that we do things as a family! 1.2200 0.04837 100 81 16 3
2281 Don’t worry, getting her in the water is literally impossible 1.2200 0.04623 100 80 18 2
2282 Anybody see the cat? 1.2200 0.04623 100 80 18 2
2283 They do get set in their ways. 1.2200 0.04837 100 81 16 3
2284 This fur-kids thing has gone too far. 1.2200 0.04837 100 81 16 3
2285 This is not what I thought when they said : exercise. 1.2200 0.04837 100 81 16 3
2286 No worries, he's declawed. 1.2200 0.03646 100 86 10 4
2287 You always have to be in the middle of everything, don't you Pickle? 1.2200 0.04623 100 80 18 2
2288 C'mon, admit it: You're happy we got Mr Whiskers rather than that Great Dane. 1.2200 0.04837 100 81 16 3
2289 He doesn't seem to be enjoying this, maybe we should try "Marco Polo"? 1.2200 0.01082 100 85 14 1
2290 Careful! She’s maintaining correct social balancing!” 1.2200 0.04399 100 79 20 1
2291 The cat had a ball, but was not having a ball. 1.2200 0.04837 100 81 16 3
2292 I'm so glad we filed her claws before doing this. 1.2200 0.04623 100 80 18 2
2293 If we’re going to be this indulgent, we should think about having a baby. 1.2200 0.04837 100 81 16 3
2294 I think he doesn't get what 'fetch' means. 1.2200 0.05041 100 82 14 4
2295 You can't play catch without "cat." 1.2200 0.04837 100 81 16 3
2296 So that’s what happens when you try to sink a witch. 1.2200 0.05041 100 82 14 4
2297 This is what you get for clawing my plants 1.2200 0.05238 100 83 12 5
2298 OUR referee is really on the ball ! 1.2200 0.04837 100 81 16 3
2299 Cirque du Pussy 1.2200 0.04837 100 81 16 3
2300 Left or right - decisions,decisions,decisions! 1.2200 0.03646 100 84 14 2
2301 How’s Mr. Declawing-cats-is-cruel feeling about it now? 1.2200 0.04623 100 80 18 2
2302 You're right - Catball truly is the sport of the future! 1.2200 0.04837 100 81 16 3
2303 C'mon, Kitty! Don't be such a pussy.” 1.2200 0.05427 100 84 10 6
2304 And in that one magical moment, Karen and John knew that all of the hard work, sacrifice and postponement of anything resembling fun, was totally worth it. 1.2200 0.04399 100 79 20 1
2305 I'm not feeding him. You feed him. 1.2200 0.04623 100 80 18 2
2306 And YOU didn't want to pay for the taxidermy... 1.2200 0.05041 100 82 14 4
2307 Anything to stay out of the water. 1.2200 0.05041 100 82 14 4
2308 No, George. The rocket was 8, the parachute 9. Though modest, this should do it. 1.2200 0.05041 100 82 14 4
2309 I don’t have time to walk a dog. 1.2200 0.04837 100 81 16 3
2310 Well, could we do THIS with a kid? 1.2200 0.05041 100 82 14 4
2311 Declawed, the shame of it all. 1.2200 0.04623 100 80 18 2
2312 You wouldn't ever think they murder songbirds, would you. 1.2200 0.04623 100 85 10 5
2313 Thank goodness we got him declawed. 1.2200 0.04837 100 81 16 3
2314 Remember, you’re not a pet. You’re a pool toy. 1.2200 0.04623 100 80 18 2
2315 You see, you could never do this with a labradoodle. 1.2200 0.05041 100 82 14 4
2316 We've really become expurrts at social distancing. 1.2200 0.04837 100 81 16 3
2317 Mr. Whiskers contemplates his revenge during another unhappy hour with the Hendersons. 1.2200 0.04163 100 78 22 0
2318 Yet another reason why cats love humans. 1.2200 0.04623 100 80 18 2
2319 At least it's out of the bag. 1.2200 0.05238 100 83 12 5
2320 That's why I named her Trusty. 1.2200 0.05041 100 82 14 4
2321 Myrtle said she finally taught her dog to roll over; I didn't have the heart to tell her. 1.2200 0.04837 100 81 16 3
2322 This is probably the only way to let this cat feel, how much this world has turned in June 1.2198 0.05369 91 75 12 4
2323 Robert, are you sure the wine was the only thing the cat got into this afternoon? Did you check your ED medicine? 1.2195 0.06017 82 69 8 5
2324 We promise you can have the house back when the coronavirus is over 1.2178 0.04794 101 82 16 3
2325 You'll never learn 1.2178 0.04582 101 81 18 2
2326 And you said not wearing a mask was the biggest risk we would take 1.2178 0.04582 101 81 18 2
2327 Binky did not realize the new game would include an unwanted bath. 1.2178 0.04361 101 80 20 1
2328 Am I on my ninth life yet? 1.2178 0.04128 101 79 22 0
2329 These new jedi-powers will come in handy in the coming months in 2020 1.2178 0.04996 101 83 14 4
2330 *record scratch* YEP, that’s me. The guy on the ball. I bet you’re wondering how I got here. 1.2178 0.03179 101 83 17 1
2331 And for his ninth life, the trip went to...Costa Corona 1.2178 0.04794 101 82 16 3
2332 I'm on the precipice of a world gone mad. Who is in charge here? 1.2178 0.04794 101 82 16 3
2333 Upon a globe suspended in mid air, I say: ‘Look on my works, ye Mighty, and despair!’ 1.2178 0.05378 101 85 10 6
2334 You all know i hate water 1.2178 0.04582 101 81 18 2
2335 What's the matter, cat got your beachball ? 1.2178 0.05190 101 84 12 5
2336 Drop the ball Karen...I dare you 1.2178 0.04582 101 81 18 2
2337 I named him Spike 1.2178 0.04996 101 83 14 4
2338 Why cats don’t play catch. 1.2178 0.04361 101 80 20 1
2339 Better than cat in the hat 1.2178 0.04794 101 82 16 3
2340 He thinks this will make him as famous as the cat on a hot tin roof. 1.2178 0.04582 101 81 18 2
2341 Bet this isn't the way he wanted to spend his ninth life. 1.2178 0.04794 101 82 16 3
2342 Bestdayever#micelivesmatter 1.2178 0.04246 101 82 17 2
2343 You think he's feline good up there? 1.2178 0.03331 101 81 20 0
2344 He was a seal in a past life. 1.2178 0.04582 101 81 18 2
2345 No he's not scared, he's having a ball. 1.2178 0.04582 101 81 18 2
2346 It's bad luck, these days, being on a cruise ship. 1.2178 0.04996 101 83 14 4
2347 Jinx defected from a Russian circus. 1.2178 0.04128 101 79 22 0
2348 Henry, guess what I'm thinking right now? 1.2162 0.05533 74 60 12 2
2349 The cat is on the ball 1.2157 0.04323 102 81 20 1
2350 I think he loves this game. 1.2157 0.04751 102 83 16 3
2351 Monkey in the middle isn’t as fun as they made it out to be 1.2143 0.04166 98 77 18 1
2352 How long do you think we have until it pops? 1.2143 0.04865 98 80 15 3
2353 Next vacation, I'll leave them at home 1.2143 0.05077 98 81 13 4
2354 So God, when? 1.2143 0.04865 98 80 15 3
2355 Never underestimate the Whites ability to pretend everything is fine. 1.2143 0.04865 98 80 15 3
2356 Mr and Mrs Pigeon try to adapt after the cat is thrown among them... 1.2143 0.04644 98 79 17 2
2357 Well, he’s YOUR cat! No, YOURS! 1.2143 0.04865 98 80 15 3
2358 Jesus I can’t take this anymore. Go back to work hoomans! 1.2143 0.04865 98 80 15 3
2359 I hope they cleaned this ball with rubbing alcohol 1.2143 0.04865 98 80 15 3
2360 This is what we, in the biz, call ‘exposure therapy’ 1.2143 0.05280 98 82 11 5
2361 They call this vacation, I can't stand another eight lives of this! 1.2143 0.04865 98 80 15 3
2362 I don't know why the dog has stopped playing frisbee. 1.2143 0.04644 98 79 17 2
2363 Pass the Pussy 1.2143 0.05280 98 82 11 5
2364 It's a lot better than the usual hairball. 1.2143 0.04412 98 78 19 1
2365 Pickle lives up to her name each summer. 1.2143 0.04865 98 80 15 3
2366 I must play their games--because they FEED me! 1.2143 0.05475 98 83 9 6
2367 We really should not let him drink with us 1.2143 0.04291 98 80 16 2
2368 It took more wine than I thought it would. 1.2143 0.05280 98 82 11 5
2369 There are cool cats, and then there are pool cats. 1.2143 0.04644 98 79 17 2
2370 Well, he obviously wants something. 1.2143 0.05077 98 81 13 4
2371 I feel like a cat on a hot beach ball. 1.2143 0.04644 98 79 17 2
2372 I did warn you that Sparkles take her job as Designatd Driver seriously. 1.2143 0.05475 98 83 9 6
2373 I thought they reached the limit when they made me jump over the toilet paper walls. 1.2143 0.04644 98 79 17 2
2374 Little kitty's having a ball. 1.2143 0.05077 98 81 13 4
2375 Oy, noe I KNOW I’m in Florida! 1.2143 0.05077 98 81 13 4
2376 I’m glad it’s a cat this time; the pink elephant had a hard time balancing. 1.2143 0.05077 98 81 13 4
2377 Suddenly, I'm re-evaluating existential nihilism. 1.2143 0.05077 98 81 13 4
2378 I tell you, it cured my last cat of kneading. 1.2143 0.04412 98 78 19 1
2379 Thanks for helping me house sit. 1.2143 0.04644 98 79 17 2
2380 Once upon a time while playing with his wife, her cat and an inflatable ball, Tom Brady had an idea... 1.2143 0.04412 98 78 19 1
2381 It's a fine line between claw and clawed. 1.2143 0.04644 98 79 17 2
2382 Don't worry Mr. Whiskers, we're soberly distancing! 1.2143 0.04166 98 77 21 0
2383 Wait a minute...did she say ball the cat or bell the cat? 1.2143 0.04038 98 80 14 2
2384 What do you say we flip the ball, drown the poor bastard and rid ourselves once and forever of his balanced indifference. 1.2143 0.05077 98 81 13 4
2385 Are we up to seven lives or eight? 1.2143 0.04412 98 78 19 1
2386 He’ll be ready for YouTube in no time. 1.2143 0.04412 98 78 19 1
2387 Catravestry. 1.2143 0.04412 98 78 19 1
2388 Right about now is where he swipes left or right for me 1.2121 0.04602 99 80 17 2
2389 Of course he's enjoying himself! Aren't you? 1.2121 0.04602 99 80 17 2
2390 We’re getting a new therapist. 1.2111 0.05119 90 74 13 3
2391 No, I don't think we've been quarantining too long. 1.2111 0.05119 90 74 13 3
2392 Cinnamon's working on high-stakes balancing." 1.2111 0.04605 90 72 17 1
2393 Game, set, kitty? 1.2111 0.05119 90 74 13 3
2394 They don't usually levitate me until the cab 1.2105 0.04940 95 78 14 3
2395 Honey, I think we're ready for America's Got Talent. 1.2105 0.04940 95 78 14 3
2396 The furball is in your court 1.2105 0.04940 95 78 14 3
2397 First step towards global domination 1.2105 0.04940 95 78 14 3
2398 Passing 'air balls 'elps his digestion... 1.2105 0.04708 95 77 16 2
2399 One more drink and the cat will fly. 1.2105 0.04708 95 77 16 2
2400 If you’re not going to have kids, can I at least get some wine? 1.2105 0.04708 95 77 16 2
2401 Cat on a Hot Tin Beach Ball 1.2105 0.05161 95 79 12 4
2402 Fluffy should be happy that Mommy clipped her nails! 1.2105 0.05374 95 80 10 5
2403 I take it back. You're not a scaredy-cat. 1.2105 0.05578 95 81 8 6
2404 The 9th time should do it. 1.2105 0.03930 95 79 14 2
2405 Give me my " Hot tin roof" any day... 1.2105 0.04940 95 78 14 3
2406 I'm good, unless you're seeing what I'm seeing. 1.2105 0.04940 95 78 14 3
2407 Spin it 1.2105 0.05161 95 79 12 4
2408 Considering what we’re going to do next, should we have offered him a drink? 1.2105 0.04708 95 77 16 2
2409 Kitty pool! 1.2105 0.04708 95 77 16 2
2410 One more life to go! 1.2105 0.04708 95 77 16 2
2411 See honey, I told you cats are social creatures! 1.2083 0.04663 96 78 16 2
2412 Claw retraction training 1.2083 0.04663 96 78 16 2
2413 What’s this now? 1.2083 0.04893 96 79 14 3
2414 Ballistic Resistance Training 1.2083 0.04893 96 79 14 3
2415 Whatever...as long as you two enjoy this...but I don't... 1.2083 0.05112 96 80 12 4
2416 I think Bob got fat. 1.2083 0.04663 96 78 16 2
2417 he's relentless when he's hungry 1.2083 0.05112 96 79 12 4
2418 Just remember, our puppy was also tense at first. 1.2083 0.05322 96 81 10 5
2419 I just wish he wouldn't stare at us EVERY moment of the day. 1.2083 0.05112 96 80 12 4
2420 I can't believe we got all this with free, two-day shipping! 1.2083 0.05112 96 80 12 4
2421 Here Kitty Cat-ch 1.2083 0.05112 96 80 12 4
2422 You know how you let yourself think that everything will be all right if you can only get to a certain place or do a certain thing. But when you get there you find it's not that simple. 1.2083 0.05524 96 82 8 6
2423 I thought “Caterday” would never com!! 1.2083 0.04663 96 78 16 2
2424 Bath time, Rufus!” 1.2083 0.04663 96 78 16 2
2425 Why does the ball seem so heavy? 1.2083 0.05112 96 80 12 4
2426 Well, she eventually got bored with the ball of yarn. 1.2083 0.05112 96 80 12 4
2427 MAN, I JIVE YOU NOT, THIS CAT’S DEFINITELY ON THE BALL 1.2083 0.05322 96 81 10 5
2428 Me next! 1.2083 0.04663 96 78 16 2
2429 She never enjoyed this game till I gave her the catnip to munch on. 1.2083 0.04422 96 77 18 1
2430 Missy, does the fanatical meowing mean go faster or higher? 1.2083 0.04663 96 78 16 2
2431 Old Fuzzy will never learn. He loves the ball, but hates the fall! 1.2083 0.04663 96 78 16 2
2432 1,041, 1,042...we have the record, enough already! 1.2055 0.05839 73 61 9 3
2433 They call it -the new normal- 1.2043 0.05198 93 78 11 4
2434 We should gave her a glass too 1.2043 0.04473 93 75 17 1
2435 I don’t think she’s quite feline the water. 1.2043 0.04727 93 76 15 2
2436 This pool game has one winner and three losers 1.2043 0.04473 93 75 17 1
2437 The telekinesis lessons are really starting to pay off 1.2043 0.04968 93 77 13 3
2438 Ted and Mary’s sordid request that Sprinkles to fetch their fourth bottle of claret from the table quickly devolved into a frolic. 1.2043 0.05418 93 79 9 5
2439 What day of quarantine are we on again? 1.2043 0.04473 93 75 17 1
2440 that's it. I can't find happiness 1.2043 0.04968 93 77 13 3
2441 When did you say your mother is coming back? 1.2043 0.04473 93 75 17 1
2442 Guess who is not having a ball. 1.2043 0.04727 93 76 15 2
2443 Only eight more to go. 1.2043 0.03916 93 78 13 2
2444 What’s a guy gotta do to get noticed around here? 1.2043 0.04473 93 75 17 1
2445 Should I tell them it’s Monday 1.2043 0.04968 93 77 13 3
2446 Oh, how fun; what game is this?Cat-astrophe, I saw it on ESPN 1.2043 0.04727 93 76 15 2
2447 I did not think this through. 1.2043 0.04204 93 74 19 0
2448 at least someone's still on the ball 1.2043 0.04727 93 76 15 2
2449 I really hate this game! 1.2043 0.01143 93 82 9 2
2450 I hit the water and you’re both scratch cards 1.2043 0.04968 93 77 13 3
2451 Is it just me, or does everything feel heavier than usual? 1.2043 0.04727 93 76 15 2
2452 I feel alive again! 1.2043 0.04968 93 77 13 3
2453 The cat is having a ball 1.2043 0.04727 93 76 15 2
2454 so now I'm probably officially part of the family 1.2043 0.04968 93 77 13 3
2455 thats the farthest I can be from them theese days 1.2043 0.04968 93 77 13 3
2456 The ball will always be in my court 1.2043 0.04473 93 75 17 1
2457 People ruin everything... 1.2043 0.04473 93 77 14 2
2458 He likes to be close to us, but not too involved, it’s how he shows affection. 1.2043 0.04968 93 77 13 3
2459 if curiosity kills the cat, where will boredom find him? 1.2043 0.04727 93 76 15 2
2460 Ok, fine - I stand corrected, Jim. But you’re still sleeping on the couch 1.2043 0.05418 93 79 9 5
2461 Is it somehow possible to knock over their wine glasses as I land? 1.2043 0.04968 93 77 13 3
2462 When I said let’s play with the cat, this isn’t quite what I meant 1.2043 0.04968 93 77 13 3
2463 The perfectly timed "pre-catastrophy" snapshot. 1.2043 0.04473 93 75 17 1
2464 I wonder if the cat knows how drunk we got it. 1.2043 0.04727 93 76 15 2
2465 A full bottle of wine later, Gary is beginning to rethink his catball idea. 1.2043 0.04968 93 77 13 3
2466 I guess they are just playing with me 1.2043 0.05418 93 79 9 5
2467 How long is this TikTok? 1.2043 0.04968 93 77 13 3
2468 Social distancing isn’t working out for me 1.2043 0.04727 93 76 15 2
2469 *Cat-ch* 1.2043 0.05198 93 78 11 4
2470 Who’s having a ball? 1.2043 0.04727 93 76 15 2
2471 I call it Caterballing. 1.2043 0.04473 93 75 17 1
2472 It’s funner than it looks 1.2043 0.04727 93 76 15 2
2473 And I had such big plans for life nine... 1.2043 0.04727 93 76 15 2
2474 Prefers being thrown over drowning 1.2043 0.04727 93 76 15 2
2475 Happy now?! 1.2043 0.04473 93 75 17 1
2476 Please stop. 1.2043 0.04968 93 77 13 3
2477 I told you to keep your EYE on the ball! 1.2043 0.04727 93 76 15 2
2478 If I fits, I sits.” -Unknow 1.2043 0.04727 93 76 15 2
2479 Maybe we do need another kid 1.2043 0.04968 93 77 13 3
2480 Why did you humans declaw me? 1.2043 0.05198 93 78 11 4
2481 You trimmed her nails last week, right? 1.2043 0.04727 93 76 15 2
2482 Can’t believe after everything this year this is how I’ll lose my ninth life 1.2043 0.04968 93 77 13 3
2483 This wasn't exactly how the Cat envisioned his 2020 to go 1.2043 0.05198 93 78 11 4
2484 This is fun, nothing will burst our bubble. 1.2043 0.01909 93 78 15 0
2485 I told you we shouldn't bring her 1.2043 0.05198 93 78 11 4
2486 Did you hear a cat’s meow? 1.2043 0.04473 93 75 17 1
2487 I don’t think kitty is feline great 1.2043 0.04968 93 77 13 3
2488 He looks a bit catatonic! 1.2043 0.04727 93 76 15 2
2489 Kitty seems a little preoccupied today” 1.2043 0.04968 93 77 13 3
2490 Oh fuck, what the fuck is that cat doing up there? This is gonna be bad. Fuuuuuuuck. 1.2043 0.04968 93 77 13 3
2491 I think he's hungry. 1.2043 0.04968 93 77 13 3
2492 I guess Tibbles can't wait for lockdown to end. 1.2043 0.04473 93 75 17 1
2493 Who's my kitty now? 1.2043 0.04727 93 76 15 2
2494 Too much booze, I loose. 1.2043 0.04727 93 76 15 2
2495 I guess it doesn’t matter how much wine we drink, as long as Twibbles stays on the ball! 1.2043 0.05198 93 78 11 4
2496 Don’t judge me - I have abandonment issues. 1.2043 0.04968 93 77 13 3
2497 It's a new game! I call it cat-astrophe. 1.2043 0.04727 93 76 15 2
2498 If this doesn't work, we'll try the Prozac. 1.2043 0.04727 93 76 15 2
2499 Never thought throwing up a fur ball could be so much fun! 1.2043 0.04473 93 75 17 1
2500 Don’t drop it - there’s a rule against any heavy pet in 1.2043 0.04727 93 76 15 2
2501 I don't know about you, but this quarantine sure is checking all of my boxes! 1.2043 0.04968 93 77 13 3
2502 Ignore him. He's just a cat. 1.2043 0.04727 93 75 15 2
2503 Human-life never fails to disappoint me. 1.2043 0.04968 93 77 13 3
2504 It’s called cat-ch me if you can. 1.2043 0.04968 93 77 13 3
2505 The last one just bounced ! 1.2043 0.05198 93 78 11 4
2506 Only an idiot would surrender his dignity to this folly. 1.2043 0.04204 93 74 19 0
2507 Sometimes I think we should LET him get wet. 1.2043 0.05198 93 78 11 4
2508 Levitating a beach ball was nothing compared to Toonces' stare of indifference. 1.2043 0.04968 93 77 13 3
2509 Fig 3. Way to skin a cat #4325 1.2043 0.04968 93 77 13 3
2510 194 days until 2021 1.2043 0.04727 93 76 15 2
2511 See, I told you fur balls were fun! 1.2043 0.04968 93 77 13 3
2512 As soon as he closes his eyes let it drop. 1.2043 0.05198 93 78 11 4
2513 Eliot would have loved you. 1.2043 0.03763 93 76 15 1
2514 He only has one life left. 1.2043 0.05418 93 79 9 5
2515 You know if she falls in your skin will be shredded, George. 1.2043 0.04968 93 77 13 3
2516 Is that all you could find to plug the ball? 1.2043 0.04727 93 76 15 2
2517 I think the baby will be able to balance on the ball soon. The cat hates it. 1.2043 0.04727 93 76 15 2
2518 Ole! Ole! 1.2043 0.05198 93 78 11 4
2519 The object of the game is to drink as much as possible. Everything else is an illusion. 1.2043 0.04727 93 76 15 2
2520 Either Boots' therapy has worked or he's gotten into the Chardonnay. 1.2043 0.04968 93 77 13 3
2521 Just another manic Monday in quarantine.. (or is it Sunday?) 1.2043 0.04473 93 75 17 1
2522 You're right dear, this cat is really on the ball. 1.2043 0.04727 93 76 15 2
2523 You don't want to know what happened to the dog. 1.2043 0.05198 93 78 11 4
2524 He's afraid of catching cat scratch fever. 1.2043 0.04968 93 77 13 3
2525 Kitty still curious? 1.2043 0.04968 93 77 13 3
2526 This is much more fun since we got him declawed. 1.2043 0.04727 93 76 15 2
2527 Like I said, she doesn’t play ball. 1.2043 0.04727 93 76 15 2
2528 Best adult swim EVER! 1.2043 0.04968 93 77 13 3
2529 We worship and are willing to die for the floating cat orb. 1.2043 0.04968 93 77 13 3
2530 Club 9-Lives includes pool drinks with every round of catastrophe! 1.2043 0.04968 93 77 13 3
2531 This time I hope he jumps on your head! 1.2043 0.04062 93 76 16 1
2532 Do they really think this will cure me of hair balls? 1.2043 0.04727 93 76 15 2
2533 I get to switch places with Tibby for the next round. 1.2043 0.04727 93 76 15 2
2534 I doubt seriously that we will be allowed to stop. 1.2043 0.04727 93 76 15 2
2535 Which of his lives is he using today? 1.2043 0.05198 93 78 11 4
2536 It's like playing "Hot Potato", but with claws. 1.2043 0.04204 93 79 11 3
2537 Bob, I’m tired and my glass is empty. I think we should just punt him to the other end and let him take his chances. 1.2043 0.05198 93 78 11 4
2538 Let's see what happens when we throw it the 10th time. 1.2043 0.04968 93 77 13 3
2539 Is it me or is this ball breaking wind? 1.2043 0.05198 93 78 11 4
2540 Don't worry, Jim. Everyone gets a turn. 1.2043 0.04968 93 77 13 3
2541 Don't worry, I trained her to retract her claws!" 1.2043 0.04473 93 75 17 1
2542 Oh look at Mr Biggles! Yes Linda I'm the cutest thing ever but I don't need to be the center of everything in your life. 1.2043 0.05198 93 78 11 4
2543 I swear to God, Stan, you have the weirdest fucking eye. 1.2043 0.05630 93 80 7 6
2544 The benefits of declawing your cat. 1.2043 0.04727 93 76 15 2
2545 He's really enjoying the upgrade! 1.2043 0.04727 93 76 15 2
2546 Don't worry Sprinkles, my online dating profile specifies 'must love cats'. 1.2043 0.04473 93 75 17 1
2547 Remember, the first person who gets the kitty wet, has to clean his litter box out all next week. 1.2043 0.04602 93 78 12 3
2548 cat on superposition 1.2043 0.04204 93 74 19 0
2549 He’d love his Instagram feed. 1.2043 0.04473 93 75 17 1
2550 That cat has always been,on the ball 1.2043 0.04968 93 77 13 3
2551 Do they really think the ball is this heavy? 1.2043 0.04727 93 76 15 2
2552 This is the first time he has ever played with one of his toys! 1.2043 0.05418 93 79 9 5
2553 Mr. Mittens was so bored with their games. Weren’t these people ever going to go back to work? he wondered. 1.2043 0.04473 93 75 17 1
2554 Quite the hair ball. 1.2043 0.04727 93 76 15 2
2555 Good thing you gave the cat a tonic. 1.2043 0.04473 93 75 17 1
2556 On three. 1.2043 0.04968 93 77 13 3
2557 And the cat's in the middle and on a silver ball With a boy and a woman drinking in the pool (Apologies to Cat Stevens) 1.2043 0.05198 93 78 11 4
2558 Lucky thing that we declawed him! 1.2043 0.04968 93 77 13 3
2559 My first marriage tanked because we couldn’t talk about the elephant in the room. 1.2043 0.04968 93 77 13 3
2560 I think the cat is hungry. 1.2043 0.04968 93 77 13 3
2561 I've heard this helps with trust issues. 1.2043 0.04473 93 75 17 1
2562 PussyBall Warmup 1.2043 0.04968 93 77 13 3
2563 *screams internally* 1.2043 0.04968 93 77 13 3
2564 It's not that our Darwin is unflappable, he just knows that we know what he'd do to us if we drop him in. 1.2043 0.04968 93 77 13 3
2565 Well, for once, it's a good thing I'm declawed. 1.2043 0.04968 93 77 13 3
2566 He hates this. 1.2043 0.04727 93 76 15 2
2567 After this...largest hair ball ever ... on their pillows! 1.2043 0.04727 93 76 15 2
2568 Oh! the cat is not sober either. 1.2043 0.05198 93 78 11 4
2569 Remember, she doesn’t like getting wet 1.2043 0.04968 93 77 13 3
2570 I liked it better when we played Cat’s Cradle. 1.2043 0.04727 93 76 15 2
2571 Do you shave your armpits too, when you go to the pool? 1.2043 0.04968 93 77 13 3
2572 He loves to play with balls! 1.2043 0.04968 93 77 13 3
2573 At least he's no longer clawing your scalp. 1.2043 0.04968 93 77 13 3
2574 She’ll dig her claws in any minute now. 1.2043 0.04727 93 76 15 2
2575 Stan, more cat, less wine. 1.2043 0.04727 93 76 15 2
2576 Astronautical Engineers on vacation: “I bet he lands on his feet.” 1.2043 0.05198 93 78 11 4
2577 He's just about unleashing his inner puppy. 1.2043 0.04727 93 76 15 2
2578 Cat plays Ninth Life card. 1.2043 0.05198 93 78 11 4
2579 ‘If he falls he’ll blame you.’ 1.2043 0.05198 93 78 11 4
2580 We'll get a rescue dog next. 1.2043 0.04473 93 75 17 1
2581 Don’t ever tell me again that cat sitters are too expensive. 1.2043 0.05198 93 78 11 4
2582 Combining elements of Tennessee Williams and T.S. Eliot, I think, 'Cat on a Hot Beach Ball' -a searing, musical dramatization of sexually ambiguous feline, domestic life- would cover a lot of demographic bases! 1.2043 0.05198 93 78 11 4
2583 This works much nicer than the porcupine 1.2043 0.04727 93 76 15 2
2584 He’s so much more fun since he was declawed. 1.2043 0.04727 93 76 15 2
2585 Not the big Ball of Yarn Binky was banking on- when she wanted in on the game 1.2043 0.05198 93 78 11 4
2586 I’m not sure these 9 lives are worth it. 1.2041 0.04342 98 80 14 2
2587 Disgusting, i don’t want to lance this cats giant hemorrhoid! You take him!” “No, you take him! 1.2025 0.05804 79 67 8 4
2588 Let's stop for a meowtini before Clawdia gets hiss-terical. 1.2021 0.04430 94 76 17 1
2589 these humans think drinking Chardonnay in the pool is exercise” @salsavirdi6 @kerry_cotte 1.2000 0.05288 90 76 10 4
2590 Just leave him there. This is the most interaction we've had with the cat in months. 1.2000 0.04240 90 72 18 0
2591 See, I told you he'd love it. 1.2000 0.04793 90 74 14 2
2592 At least cat flights are back to normal 1.2000 0.04793 90 74 14 2
2593 Welp...2020 has just been a ball. 1.2000 0.04240 90 72 18 0
2594 With movie theaters still closed, Joyce and Harold were getting increasingly creative ideas for “date night” 1.2000 0.04661 90 76 11 3
2595 Current mood right now. 1.2000 0.04240 90 74 15 1
2596 Babe, I think Lucy has become a bit too clingy. 1.2000 0.04793 90 74 14 2
2597 Tyger tyger burning bright, jumping high with quivering fright 1.2000 0.04793 90 74 14 2
2598 This is a strange way to settle custody... 1.2000 0.04793 90 74 14 2
2599 I forget when it changed to me wanting a ball to becoming one. 1.2000 0.04793 90 74 14 2
2600 See? Mr Pickles is totally a baller. 1.2000 0.04793 90 74 14 2
2601 Don't worry about him, he just doesn't like me spending time with other men 1.2000 0.04793 90 74 14 2
2602 Nine lives would be fun they said. 1.2000 0.05288 90 76 10 4
2603 That's the whole trouble. You can't ever find a place that's nice and peaceful, because there isn't any 1.2000 0.04793 90 74 14 2
2604 Curiosity killed the cat 1.2000 0.04793 90 74 14 2
2605 Funny how this is easier than all our other problems 1.2000 0.04793 90 74 14 2
2606 I told you you'd have a blast coming over and playing with it 1.2000 0.04240 90 72 18 0
2607 Whatch out the glasses, humans. Please 1.2000 0.05288 90 76 10 4
2608 It’s time to talk about both of your drinking problems” - ca 1.2000 0.03773 90 78 9 3
2609 Marco discovering the hard way why the kids got to name him. 1.2000 0.05047 90 75 12 3
2610 I am trying to introduce her to Kierkegaard's Concept of Anxiety so she could relate to us more easily. 1.2000 0.04793 90 74 14 2
2611 Couldn’t you go back to bouncing ping pong balls in a cup? 1.2000 0.05047 90 75 12 3
2612 Wife: Hun be careful, he only has one life left. Husband: Well it’s about time there’s some equality around here. 1.2000 0.04793 90 74 14 2
2613 Cat: I miss good old pandemic days.. 1.2000 0.04793 90 74 14 2
2614 : “I don’t think this will make the cat enjoy bathing more, Martin” 1.2000 0.04525 90 73 16 1
2615 I never should have agreed to chaperone their date. 1.2000 0.04793 90 74 14 2
2616 Can't believe that it's summer already 1.2000 0.04793 90 74 14 2
2617 The war can’t last forever” “right” 1.2000 0.04525 90 73 16 1
2618 Look, we adopted a black cat — should we really feel that guilty about our white privilege? 1.2000 0.04525 90 73 16 1
2619 I guess this is new normal #2020 1.2000 0.04793 90 74 14 2
2620 I’ve said the safe word three times now... 1.2000 0.05288 90 76 10 4
2621 well this will be using up one of her nine lives 1.2000 0.04793 90 74 14 2
2622 'We'll connect!' you said. 'We'll bond!' you said. Well? 1.2000 0.04525 90 73 16 1
2623 Cats get high Too. 1.2000 0.05047 90 75 12 3
2624 Quarantine day 97, cat viral video 285! 1.2000 0.05047 90 75 12 3
2625 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8 ... N i n e. YIKES! 1.2000 0.04793 90 74 14 2
2626 Resistance was futile. Karen and Todd were resolute in their committment to Cats Lives Matter. 1.2000 0.04793 90 74 14 2
2627 White people always think they can do whatever they want to whatever black being they see. 1.2000 0.05288 90 76 10 4
2628 ...If this is your idea of havin’ a ball, I’m goin’ for a nap! 1.2000 0.04525 90 73 16 1
2629 Why is this none-sense part of my play time? 1.2000 0.04385 90 75 13 2
2630 Something clever (with a reference to politics). 1.2000 0.04793 90 74 14 2
2631 I think we gave Jiggles too much catnip again” 1.2000 0.05047 90 75 12 3
2632 Harold, I told you we should have had him neutered. Now look at him! 1.2000 0.05047 90 75 12 3
2633 In that moment, high above the raging chlorine sea, Mr. Whiskers realized it was not enough to get his humans outside. He would have to distance them...for good. 1.2000 0.04793 90 74 14 2
2634 The quarantine has had a cat-astrophic impact on me. I tried to pool-itely ask my humans to stop. 1.2000 0.04525 90 73 16 1
2635 It’s time to try defying gravity 1.2000 0.03773 90 72 14 1
2636 Cat me if you can 1.2000 0.04793 90 74 14 2
2637 Black cats of Instagram watch out! 1.2000 0.04793 90 74 14 2
2638 What’s for dinner? 1.2000 0.04525 90 73 16 1
2639 Let’s have kids! 1.2000 0.05047 90 75 12 3
2640 And you wanted to get him neutered 1.2000 0.05047 90 75 12 3
2641 And so Mittens endured another of Jan and Peter’s quarantine phases. This one: cat pong. 1.2000 0.04525 90 73 16 1
2642 Put on masks and get a dog...I only have one life left and this is not how I envisioned it ending. 1.2000 0.05047 90 75 12 3
2643 Karen, are you sure this is what they meant when they said to elevate black lives? 1.2000 0.04793 90 74 14 2
2644 I'm guessing, this too shall pass. 1.2000 0.05288 90 76 10 4
2645 this is what you people do for fun? 1.2000 0.05288 90 76 10 4
2646 Fair game 1.2000 0.05288 90 76 10 4
2647 When you said ‘to check out my fur-ball’ I almost didn’t come over 1.2000 0.04793 90 74 14 2
2648 It was at that moment that Sir Boots realized no god or king would save him. He, like Christ, was alone. 1.2000 0.05047 90 75 12 3
2649 He doesn't seem to mind it 1.2000 0.04240 90 72 18 0
2650 Do you have any idea, how I insecure I feel sitting right up there 1.2000 0.04793 90 74 14 2
2651 Now I know what the ball@of string feels like. 1.2000 0.05519 90 77 8 5
2652 My humans have been hanging around for way too long. 1.2000 0.04793 90 74 14 2
2653 Now that the cat is out of the bag, we’re not sure where to put it 1.2000 0.04525 90 73 16 1
2654 The package said cat included... 1.2000 0.04793 90 74 14 2
2655 We got some eyes on the ball...and also the rest of the cat 1.2000 0.05047 90 75 12 3
2656 You'll know when he gets tired. He'll claw both our jugulars. 1.2000 0.05047 90 75 12 3
2657 Starting immersion therapy in three, two, one... 1.2000 0.05047 90 75 12 3
2658 I tricked him. He thought I meant “ball of string”.” 1.2000 0.04793 90 74 14 2
2659 It's OK, he still has 7 left. 1.2000 0.04240 90 72 18 0
2660 It is getting harder to find ways to entertain the cat 1.2000 0.04793 90 74 14 2
2661 Oh, the games we have to play to get this cat to take a bath. 1.2000 0.04793 90 74 14 2
2662 He prefers to do this on his bowling ball. 1.2000 0.05047 90 75 12 3
2663 Aren't you glad we got a cat , and not a dog. They'll do anything to stay out of the water. 1.2000 0.05519 90 77 8 5
2664 If he gets wet, we both lose. 1.2000 0.04525 90 73 16 1
2665 For Fluffy’s sake, we’ve got to do better than the last eight tries. 1.2000 0.04793 90 74 14 2
2666 It's a trade-off. I pretend to be interested in the laser pen, and they do whatever I want." 1.2000 0.05741 90 78 6 6
2667 Oh, When will the circus mice arrive? 1.2000 0.04793 90 74 14 2
2668 We can play all day . . . cats have nine lives. 1.2000 0.04525 90 73 16 1
2669 I hope no one minds that we aren’t wearing masks! 1.2000 0.05047 90 75 12 3
2670 Cats ruin everything. 1.2000 0.04793 90 74 14 2
2671 Loser gets their eyes clawed out! 1.2000 0.04793 90 74 14 2
2672 This cat’s really on the ball.” 1.2000 0.05047 90 75 12 3
2673 If it goes viral, it won't be because we finally got the lighting right. 1.2000 0.04525 90 73 16 1
2674 Now aren't you glad we declawed you? 1.2000 0.04525 90 73 16 1
2675 I knew we should not have let the cat out of the bag this morning. . . 1.2000 0.04793 90 74 14 2
2676 Well,it's better than the time we played soccer with him. 1.2000 0.04793 90 74 14 2
2677 So much for social distancing 1.2000 0.04793 90 74 14 2
2678 I am so happy she came with the no claws clause 1.2000 0.05047 90 75 12 3
2679 I told you he was a seal point! 1.2000 0.04240 90 72 18 0
2680 Declawed. And look at what he still can do. 1.2000 0.04793 90 74 14 2
2681 A little chlorinated water never hurt anyone. 1.2000 0.04525 90 73 16 1
2682 I guess I'm more of a dog person." Andy Mathieson, Los Angeles, C 1.2000 0.04240 90 72 18 0
2683 This is why I'm a cat person. 1.2000 0.05519 90 77 8 5
2684 Co-dependent? Definitely.” 1.2000 0.05047 90 75 12 3
2685 The humans think this is a game. Buffy wonders if they have considered the ultimate price they will pay should they lose. 1.2000 0.05288 90 76 10 4
2686 The force is strong with you. 1.2000 0.05047 90 75 12 3
2687 should we give the cat a tonic? 1.2000 0.04793 90 74 14 2
2688 Look honey, that's where the cat went" 1.2000 0.04793 90 74 14 2
2689 Behold, the furball! 1.2000 0.04793 90 74 14 2
2690 And that's after three martinis! 1.2000 0.04525 90 73 16 1
2691 You heard the therapist, this is good for him. 1.2000 0.04525 90 73 16 1
2692 I'm not sure that putting catnip inside the ball was such a good idea. 1.2000 0.04240 90 72 18 0
2693 Do you think THIS will go viral? 1.2000 0.04793 90 74 14 2
2694 And you said cats don’t like to play!!! 1.2000 0.04793 90 74 14 2
2695 Who said cats hate water? 1.2000 0.05288 90 76 10 4
2696 She likes to stay on top of things. 1.2000 0.04240 90 72 18 0
2697 Keep going. It’ll burst eventually. 1.2000 0.04793 90 74 14 2
2698 Don't blame Mouser, he only punctured the last beach ball because you made him tip. 1.2000 0.05047 90 75 12 3
2699 Darling, have you noticed that Pussy seems to be way more balanced than we are 1.2000 0.05047 90 75 12 3
2700 How can this not lead to YouTube gold? 1.2000 0.04525 90 73 16 1
2701 Maybe now he won’t come back 1.2000 0.05047 90 75 12 3
2702 So much lighter than the Roomba! 1.2000 0.04793 90 74 14 2
2703 He's a pool party animal. 1.2000 0.05047 90 75 12 3
2704 Honestly Trevor, you’re just imagining it! 1.2000 0.05047 90 75 12 3
2705 Yeah, I’m a Love-Me, Love-My-Beach-Ball-Perching-Cat kinda gal! 1.2000 0.05047 90 75 12 3
2706 Just another friendly game of don't drown the cat. 1.2000 0.04793 90 74 14 2
2707 It's OK, he's declawed. 1.2000 0.04240 90 72 18 0
2708 See,Clementine? Isn’t this more fun than catnip and Netflix? 1.2000 0.05047 90 75 12 3
2709 Tigger becomes quite the little acrobat after she’s had a few drinks. 1.2000 0.05288 90 76 10 4
2710 Let's call it "Hairball"! 1.2000 0.05047 90 75 12 3
2711 She'll scratch if we drop the ball 1.2000 0.05047 90 75 12 3
2712 Yup - it is possible for Sir Fluffybutt to despise us even more! 1.2000 0.04525 90 73 16 1
2713 Okay, that was eight. 1.2000 0.04793 90 74 14 2
2714 I know. Let's see if Felix can swim. 1.2000 0.05047 90 75 12 3
2715 What did we do before we had to stay inside? 1.2000 0.04525 90 73 16 1
2716 Yep, no net. 1.2000 0.04525 90 73 16 1
2717 Ah, that's "Fish gotta swim," folks 1.2000 0.04525 90 73 16 1
2718 It's even more fun without the ball! 1.2000 0.04525 90 73 16 1
2719 Wait 'til you see him juggle fire. 1.2000 0.05519 90 77 8 5
2720 He’ll do anything to avoid a bath. 1.2000 0.04793 90 74 14 2
2721 This is the height of ridiculousness! 1.2000 0.04793 90 74 14 2
2722 I cancelled a date to go to Las Vegas for this. 1.2000 0.02344 90 77 12 1
2723 Maybe one day he'll join in. 1.2000 0.04793 90 74 14 2
2724 You've gotta call it in the air! 1.2000 0.05519 90 77 8 5
2725 Why is this ball acting so darn stubborn? 1.2000 0.05047 90 75 12 3
2726 Just four more drownings to go. 1.2000 0.05047 90 75 12 3
2727 I just knew he'd love the kitty pool. 1.2000 0.04793 90 74 14 2
2728 Hang on ten more volleys and we have a real chance at a viral video. 1.2000 0.05047 90 75 12 3
2729 I had her last week. 1.2000 0.05519 90 77 8 5
2730 I wonder what the common folk are doing these days. 1.2000 0.05047 90 75 12 3
2731 just another day at the Kittycat Meme Lab 1.2000 0.04793 90 74 14 2
2732 I'd say marriage counseling was an excellent choice! 1.2000 0.05288 90 76 10 4
2733 Well, if they don’t spit when they talk and I don’t drown, my odd are 50/50 I make it to dinner. 1.2000 0.04793 90 74 14 2
2734 I just had an idea of how to let Fluffy know that she is not the alpha member of our home." 1.2000 0.04385 90 75 13 2
2735