Contest #709


Cartoon

709

The winning captions

These captions are chosen by The New Yorker.

  1. “Try the stairs. This takes an eternity.”
  2. “We’re temps―the eternally damned are back Monday.”
  3. “So now we know what the ‘FIRE’ button does.”


Name Value
Submission deadline 2020-05-11T00:47:00.000Z
Voting started -
Voting ended 2020-05-25T00:53:00.000Z
Finalists announced 2020-05-19T00:54:00.000Z
Magazine(s) announcing finalists issued May 25, 2020
Number of captions 9680
Number of responses 1458079
Number of participants -


Dashboard

In this table, the "mean" means the empirically measured average funniness score when the "unfunny", "somewhat funny" and "funny" receive a funniness score of 1, 2, 3 respectively. "Precison" is the standard error of the mean, the standard deviation of the mean estimate. With that, a caption with an empirical mean μ and precision σ has true mean in the range [μ - 2σ, μ + 2σ] with 95% probability by the 68-95-99.7 rule assuming the responses are indepedent and identically distributed.

Rank Caption Mean Precision Total votes "Unfunny" votes "Somewhat funny" votes "Funny" votes
0 You might want to try the stairs. This one only goes down and takes an eternity. 2.2383 0.00641 12590 2144 5323 5119
1 I just pressed 2020 2.0781 0.00753 11248 3232 3940 4075
2 Kellyanne! We’ve been waiting for you. 2.0500 0.00731 13065 4297 3842 4923
3 This is Hell. For High Water take the elevator to the right. 2.0407 0.00632 14346 3878 6036 4425
4 No, the worst part is still the music. 2.0285 0.00669 14369 4428 5102 4828
5 Seriously?! You're asking whether we're going up or down? 2.0177 0.00713 11997 3599 4608 3784
6 First trip on a White House elevator? 2.0170 0.00744 11724 3744 4057 3920
7 We’re going down in flames. Going up in smoke is the next car over. 1.9995 0.00643 14587 4451 5715 4406
8 So now we know what the 'FIRE' button does. 1.9740 0.00679 13732 4538 5007 4172
9 Sorry—the Stairway to Heaven is down the hall. 1.9739 0.00739 10784 3368 4355 3058
10 Apparently, there IS a special place in hell for those of us at Fox News! 1.9523 0.01373 3587 1302 1154 1131
11 We're from infernal affairs 1.9510 0.00739 11149 3710 4286 3146
12 It was this or ride the elevator alone with Trump 1.9461 0.00790 10881 4026 3430 3421
13 Observing no one is wearing a mask, Eunice hesitates to enter. 1.9454 0.00781 10735 3836 3652 3241
14 Look everyone. The Devil does wear Prada. 1.9441 0.00733 11942 4189 4230 3517
15 I’ve been told we have the best elevators . Nobody does elevators better than us. They’re fantastic elevators. Probably the greatest elevators in history . 1.9179 0.00819 10328 4053 3070 3197
16 Never push 6, 3 times. Never. 1.9079 0.00791 10054 3685 3612 2746
17 You might want to take the stairs. The firefighters are working from home. 1.9061 0.00774 10719 4009 3710 2992
18 Why yes, this is the Republican-only elevator. How can you tell?” 1.9059 0.00867 8939 3482 2827 2627
19 Telling us to 'take the stairs' during a fire is an infringement on our rights! USA! USA! USA!" 1.8934 0.00813 10744 4463 2963 3307
20 Hell? No, we just mixed bleach with chloroquine and turned on a UV light... 1.8767 0.01389 3439 1379 1105 955
21 It was either this or four more years. 1.8743 0.01246 4207 1685 1372 1148
22 Somebody pressed all the buttons, so, we've been to hell and back. 1.8676 0.00878 7548 2791 2978 1774
23 We're headed down to debasement. 1.8528 0.01328 3493 1374 1261 858
24 No, this is the second circle 'Lust.' You want 'Greed,' two circles down. Nice body, by the way. 1.8368 0.00777 10471 4303 3561 2595
25 Try the stairs. This takes an eternity. 1.8246 0.00867 7841 3131 2960 1747
26 At that point Janet decided that maybe she wasn’t cut out to work for the Trump administration. 1.8174 0.00837 9397 4127 2856 2399
27 Yeah. We saw the, “In Case Of Fire, Take Stairs” signs... But no sign is gonna tell US what to do.” 1.8166 0.02672 949 424 275 250
28 Yes, we're all lawyers. 1.8011 0.01169 4350 1828 1567 955
29 Sorry, we are still debating if this thing’s going “Up in flames” or “Down in flames” 1.7952 0.00803 8917 3679 3389 1844
30 Times have changed. We don't use a hand basket anymore. 1.7902 0.00923 7609 3436 2328 1834
31 Sure, the experts will say there’s a fire, but I’m still skeptical. 1.7722 0.00992 6106 2691 2116 1297
32 Yes, of course we’re going down.” 1.7667 0.00836 8156 3499 3054 1597
33 Step right in ... there’s always room for one more lawyer. 1.7656 0.00985 6019 2649 2143 1225
34 Sorry. If you're not upper management, you can't go straight to hell. 1.7654 0.00982 5968 2583 2196 1183
35 As you can see, we’ve been fired. 1.7613 0.01524 2543 1127 896 520
36 This is the Elevator to Hell. Stairway to Heaven is at the end of the hall." 1.7609 0.00920 6820 2988 2474 1355
37 No, actually it’s purgatory. We’re stuck between floors. 1.7593 0.01832 1753 776 621 355
38 The last White House briefing said something about setting yourself on fire to kill the virus.” 1.7570 0.00987 6528 3065 1982 1476
39 It's fine! Trust me, light and heat kills it!" 1.7569 0.01325 3410 1547 1153 710
40 Your first time in a Trump building? 1.7516 0.00934 7330 3476 2194 1656
41 Of course it’s safe to go back to work! 1.7498 0.01294 3437 1538 1229 670
42 Whoa whoa, where’s your mask? 1.7367 0.01291 3433 1567 1212 654
43 Just warning you. This elevator takes forever. 1.7066 0.01004 5467 2547 1977 942
44 I touched my face. Lorraine here coughed into her hand instead of her elbow. Kathy and Dave were less than six feet apart at Starbucks. 1.6966 0.01276 3484 1684 1177 623
45 We're temps―the eternally damned are back Monday. 1.6854 0.01078 4848 2370 1624 844
46 We did the “Injecting Lysol thing ... then somebody lit a match”. 1.6852 0.01146 4882 2583 1256 1042
47 It started with one or two firings a week, but now everyone’s just getting the shaft.” 1.6758 0.02488 950 483 292 175
48 It’s casual fry day.” 1.6727 0.02069 1381 708 417 256
49 Turns out Dante had a tenth circle: Accounting.” 1.6697 0.01189 3999 2022 1284 693
50 But more people die from the flu.” 1.6664 0.01207 3912 1987 1244 681
51 Don't worry, I've been told thoughts and prayers are on their way 1.6579 0.01886 1596 819 504 273
52 It's not so bad. We have toilet paper. 1.6565 0.01745 1802 920 586 296
53 Sweltering in place. 1.6530 0.01620 2150 1109 678 363
54 It's DeVos, right. C'mon in! 1.6422 0.01732 2082 1158 512 412
55 I mean, it was this or stay home with the kids. 1.6359 0.01323 3024 1562 1006 455
56 Sorry, this one's reserved for The White House staff. 1.6335 0.02043 1367 732 404 231
57 Social distancing? Nah, lady...this is the FREEDOM elevator.” 1.6253 0.02104 1377 774 345 258
58 We were wrong about the frying pan. 1.6200 0.02664 750 396 243 111
59 We didn't think voting for Trump would have any consequences! 1.6186 0.01526 2457 1362 676 419
60 Sure, but it's a dry heat. 1.6156 0.01803 1579 833 526 220
61 Already? Why does the White House even hire press secretaries? 1.6146 0.02180 1274 728 310 236
62 You may be better off taking the stair way to heaven. 1.6140 0.01434 2806 1561 765 478
63 Welcome to the first annual convention for former presidential press secretaries. We're hoping our liar liar pants on fire mixer will become a yearly tradition. 1.6134 0.01998 1389 757 412 220
64 Welcome! Meet the rest of the President’s legal team” 1.6124 0.01622 2234 1259 583 392
65 Let's sing: When you're up you're up, and when you're down you're down, and when you're halfway in between, you're in purgatory. 1.6103 0.01583 2720 1667 442 606
66 Nancy chose a hell of a day to come back to work. 1.6099 0.01515 2548 1440 662 441
67 The president says it’s safe!” 1.6087 0.01608 2282 1300 578 404
68 We should have voted for Hilary. 1.6064 0.01550 2378 1331 652 395
69 Hell yes, there's room for one more. 1.6045 0.01513 2369 1301 708 360
70 It was this or another day of Zoom meetings. 1.6042 0.01469 2357 1255 782 320
71 I always thought it would be a highway." 1.6031 0.01566 2104 1130 681 293
72 Well well well, if it isn’t nobody’s-going-to-die-over-a-little-delayed-maintenance-Mary” 1.5984 0.01868 1591 889 452 250
73 We're looking for Mitch McConnell. 1.5977 0.01915 1628 948 389 291
74 We have the best elevators. No one has a better elevator. We take more elevator rides than anyone. We don’t even need elevators, our elevators are so good.” 1.5945 0.02305 1122 654 269 199
75 Actually, it's paved with bad intentions. 1.5917 0.02269 965 517 325 123
76 We are liars and our pants are afire. 1.5912 0.01743 1847 1052 499 296
77 It was either this or another zoom meeting 1.5894 0.02271 996 549 309 138
78 Help us, please! We told Trump the truth. 1.5886 0.02197 1162 663 314 185
79 Sorry, this is the elevator to hell. The stairway to heaven is down the hall on your right. 1.5866 0.01639 1807 1041 502 264
80 The real sin is that belt with those shoes. 1.5850 0.01957 1412 796 406 210
81 It took Linda a moment to realize she had hit the “MAGA” button instead of the “Parking L2” button 1.5833 0.02720 780 455 195 130
82 so i guess this one is going down? 1.5833 0.01741 1752 982 518 252
83 I’m here for your daily temperature screening. Who’s first? 1.5828 0.01870 1745 1047 374 321
84 It’s fine. We’re fine. Everything’s fine.” 1.5823 0.01863 1580 906 432 242
85 Sure, you can take the other one. But I have to warn you, they play bagpipes. 1.5819 0.01868 1368 808 355 205
86 We always have room for you, Kellyanne” 1.5811 0.02054 1394 824 330 240
87 I know it looks grim but one study shows we're only a few weeks away from herd non-flammability. 1.5792 0.01990 1364 776 386 202
88 Oval Office.. Going down. 1.5777 0.02145 1203 694 323 186
89 Barbara immediately felt the regret of choosing tweed over a breathable linen. 1.5773 0.02214 1100 627 311 162
90 Heads up: the red button doesn't say "Bell." 1.5770 0.01904 1494 855 415 223
91 The Stairway to heaven is to your left 1.5742 0.03798 357 200 109 48
92 It’s a Hellevator 1.5740 0.02012 1406 827 351 228
93 No need to social distance...Trump says heat kills the virus!” 1.5724 0.01962 1471 865 370 236
94 Relax, heat kills the virus. 1.5708 0.01864 1370 756 450 164
95 Melanie hated to admit it, but this was just the push she needed to start taking the stairs. 1.5706 0.01939 1332 747 412 173
96 I think I’ll wait for hell to freeze over”. 1.5701 0.03014 556 311 173 72
97 It’s not a dream, you voted Republican. 1.5693 0.02050 1370 816 328 226
98 It was this or another Zoom meeting 1.5687 0.01989 1405 824 363 218
99 Sorry we’re full, hell has social distancing rules too. 1.5665 0.03058 519 287 170 62
100 We have the best elevators . No one has better ones . I’ve been told they could be the best anyone has ever seen . 1.5659 0.02120 1267 757 304 205
101 When the boss said he was firing us he wasn't kidding! 1.5646 0.01924 1323 744 415 164
102 The worst part is the elevator music. 1.5633 0.02024 1216 688 373 155
103 But shutting it down would hurt the economy. 1.5627 0.02222 1061 611 303 147
104 Sorry ma’am, Whitehouse Press Secretaries only. 1.5608 0.02138 1241 746 295 200
105 What part of IN CASE OF FIRE USE THE STAIRS don't you understand? 1.5590 0.02082 1195 689 344 162
106 She always knew there was a special place for those who “reply-all” 1.5580 0.02341 948 548 271 129
107 Ms Devos, they’re digging a deeper and hotter pit for you. Hell is pretty packed. 1.5570 0.03037 596 354 152 90
108 Up to now, Doris had believed that breaking the glass ceiling was going to be her biggest obstacle. 1.5568 0.02060 1180 682 344 154
109 Turns out telling the truth DOES matter! 1.5566 0.02155 1166 694 299 173
110 I thought going down in flames was just an idiom 1.5565 0.02027 1177 661 377 139
111 oh crap, it's full of Republicans 1.5558 0.02241 1155 705 258 192
112 Could you push 'Up'? 1.5557 0.02081 1168 675 340 153
113 Turns out hand sanitizer is combustible, who knew?” 1.5515 0.02115 1088 618 340 130
114 Hi! Welcome to the Trump Republican covid -19 task force!!!! 1.5493 0.02242 1065 633 279 153
115 I don’t know about you, but this isn’t what I pictured when I heard we were getting fired.” 1.5484 0.02158 1054 604 322 128
116 Sorry. We’re currently not hiring, just firing. 1.5476 0.02182 1039 598 313 128
117 The governor said it was safe to reopen the elevator.” 1.5475 0.02213 1043 605 297 135
118 Yes, Ivanka, he's here blaming Obama for the heat. 1.5474 0.02314 1034 626 250 158
119 The fire button works... but not quite how I expected.” 1.5459 0.02307 947 551 275 121
120 Trump said fire kills covid-19 so it's safe to ride the elevator together. 1.5456 0.02245 1019 600 283 136
121 We're going to hell and back. Want to come? 1.5451 0.02279 1009 600 269 140
122 The stairway to heaven is down the hall 1.5444 0.02133 1014 570 336 108
123 When they said you were being fired, I’m afraid they meant it literally. 1.5441 0.02209 998 574 305 119
124 Well, someone’s overdressed. 1.5415 0.02315 927 540 271 115
125 Sorry, lawyers only. 1.5409 0.02354 965 583 243 139
126 The Justice Department is one floor below us. 1.5401 0.02431 935 572 221 142
127 Look. None of your emails are finding us well, Karen.” 1.5397 0.02422 956 586 218 149
128 Can you tell them that their thoughts and prayers didn’t work?” 1.5366 0.02375 902 535 250 117
129 Hey, Lady! Can't you read the sign? "In case of fire, use the stairs, not the elevator" 1.5356 0.02448 913 560 216 136
130 I know, but someone was coughing on the other one." 1.5348 0.02394 890 529 244 116
131 OMG! My x-wife! This really IS Hell! 1.5333 0.02464 857 516 225 116
132 We failed harassment training. Nice legs, by the way. 1.5327 0.02460 841 502 230 109
133 Might be faster to take the stairs, we’re going to be here for eternity. 1.5321 0.02458 857 516 226 115
134 This internship is paid, right? 1.5315 0.02580 856 535 181 137
135 Satan sent us back up. He said hell is closed due to COVID-19 concerns.” 1.5308 0.02459 844 506 228 110
136 You're a lawyer? Get in! 1.5308 0.02521 844 517 206 121
137 Hey, the President said this works! 1.5306 0.02502 850 519 211 120
138 Help! We're stuck somewhere between Fraud and Treachery! 1.5301 0.02649 847 543 156 146
139 We've been waiting for you, Kelly. 1.5295 0.02477 831 499 224 108
140 Never thought I’d see my lawyer, banker and insurance agent in the same room. 1.5273 0.02442 806 474 239 93
141 Don't make the mistake of ignoring the three-person limit! 1.5271 0.02701 812 521 150 139
142 It’s a dry heat” 1.5266 0.02467 809 483 227 98
143 He said the heat kills it.” 1.5263 0.02411 800 465 249 86
144 Welcome to Trump Towers! 1.5253 0.02630 790 492 181 117
145 My horoscope did say I would be reunited with an old flame. 1.5250 0.02618 699 412 207 80
146 We've heard that the heat kills the virus. Come in!" 1.5247 0.02496 791 472 223 96
147 Straight to hell? No, this is just the local. 1.5225 0.02518 754 446 222 86
148 The moment when Carol knew the company was going down in flames 1.5225 0.03289 444 263 130 51
149 It seems less risky than the recommended disinfectant treatment. 1.5225 0.02565 756 459 201 96
150 Hostile work environment? I just finished working from home with two toddlers and a husband 1.5223 0.02595 764 466 197 101
151 Not so fast. Have you experienced any coughing, muscle pains, fever or ennui in the last 14 days? 1.5218 0.02529 757 458 206 93
152 Now that you mention it, yes, we we were all at the Liberate Michigan rally. 🔥 1.5213 0.02667 752 467 178 107
153 'Did you vote Trump too? we're going straight to hell.' 1.5201 0.02724 748 473 161 114
154 Welcome, Senator. 1.5200 0.02672 750 469 173 108
155 We were having a heated discussion and then it all went to hell.” 1.5191 0.02629 732 448 189 95
156 Suddenly, Janet started wondering if she had forgotten to turn the stove off at home. 1.5179 0.02728 728 455 162 106
157 Lady, does this LOOK like it's going up? 1.5151 0.02684 695 424 184 87
158 This is not a metaphor, get help! 1.5150 0.02599 699 419 201 79
159 I assume you’re going down? 1.5144 0.02756 694 433 165 96
160 Oh this must be the hellevator 1.5144 0.02720 696 440 160 96
161 Sorry this is lobbyists. Lawyers are the next elevator. 1.5139 0.02745 685 424 170 91
162 'Out of order' is putting it mildly. 1.5132 0.02624 680 405 201 74
163 No, the worst part is seeing Dan from accounting naked. 1.5131 0.02739 647 391 180 76
164 Floor 2020. Going down. 1.5123 0.02675 693 423 185 85
165 Come on in. If we get out of this alive, we'll all be immune to fire. 1.5102 0.03265 443 266 128 49
166 Are you The Grand Old Duke of York Quartet? 1.5091 0.02875 658 457 85 116
167 It just started when some guy, who said his name was Dante, got off on the tenth floor, said that was as far as he wanted to go this time. What the Hell anyway? 1.5090 0.03029 664 447 97 120
168 You must be looking for the stairway to Heaven... down the hall and to the right. 1.5077 0.02900 652 418 137 97
169 But we all had good intentions! 1.5076 0.02648 654 390 196 68
170 The scientists say this could hurt us, but it's my right as a human to ignore facts!" 1.5070 0.02800 639 395 164 80
171 Going to work has become one Hell of a job" 1.5063 0.02966 638 415 122 100
172 Beats going to hell in a hand basket 1.5041 0.02882 615 385 150 80
173 Of course it's going down! 1.5024 0.02862 613 382 154 77
174 We've been stuck here for an eternity. 1.5017 0.02778 604 366 173 65
175 Can’t promise anything, but if I do see your ex-husband, I’ll tell him you said hi. 1.5016 0.02725 608 367 179 62
176 The Devil does wear Prada. 1.5009 0.03033 539 335 138 66
177 Should have taken the stairway to heaven. 1.5008 0.02900 597 373 149 75
178 Sorry, we’re full. You’ll have to take the handbasket. 1.5008 0.02950 599 380 138 81
179 Hey! You got fired too? 1.5000 0.02798 592 359 170 62
180 So, the GOP Convention wasn't canceled after all. 1.5000 0.02906 590 368 149 73
181 Ironically the Muzak is 'Stairway to Heaven' 1.4992 0.02934 593 374 142 77
182 Ya, we thought “You’re Fired!” was just his catchphrase too.” 1.4983 0.02928 592 373 143 76
183 This is a smoking car. 1.4983 0.02716 592 363 172 57
184 Every year these fire drills get more and more involved 1.4983 0.02762 578 355 164 59
185 ‘Don’t worry, the president has assured us this lift is safe.’ 1.4965 0.02979 576 365 136 75
186 Hey you’re Sue from Purgatory, right? Can you put in a good word with the Big Guy? 1.4956 0.03137 567 373 107 87
187 Casual fry day 1.4952 0.03105 517 325 128 64
188 It turns out, hell is being condemned to elevator small talk for eternity” 1.4946 0.02916 554 341 152 61
189 Our nudity was a choice, the meringue was unexpected. 1.4938 0.03029 561 358 129 74
190 Yes, going down, but sorry--this one is only for people who don't like Trump but voted for him anyway. 1.4937 0.03105 553 359 113 78
191 Fox News staff heading to work.” 1.4929 0.03167 560 371 102 87
192 Sorry — senators only. 1.4928 0.03036 554 353 129 72
193 I hope you're a lawyer. 1.4928 0.03244 554 373 89 92
194 Let me guess. Another one of Trump's Coronavirus Cures? 1.4927 0.03170 550 364 102 84
195 Hey there! Are you applying to the Fox News job too? 1.4919 0.03075 555 357 121 76
196 ."He had an orange face, horns and carries a pitchfork, said a little HEAT would kill the virus!" 1.4918 0.03002 549 346 136 67
197 Jesus Christ! Where are your masks?” 1.4912 0.03529 399 252 98 49
198 Satan can't wait to collect on his contracts with Senate Republicans. 1.4908 0.03571 379 237 98 44
199 This is the hellivator 1.4907 0.02991 538 336 140 62
200 Yeah, it’s hot, but we have unlimited toilet paper. 1.4899 0.02974 545 341 141 63
201 These hot flashes have got to stop following me to work! 1.4899 0.03224 545 363 95 85
202 Sorry. This is only the Limbo level. You need to go down through Lust, Gluttony, Greed, Anger, Heresy, Violence, Fraud, and Treachery to get to where they’ve moved the Oval Office. 1.4895 0.03174 525 341 111 73
203 Honestly, the worst part is the music. 1.4887 0.02593 532 333 151 48
204 Sorry, Republican Senators only. 1.4886 0.03160 528 343 112 73
205 Stairway to Heaven's around the corner. 1.4876 0.03137 523 335 117 69
206 Great Balls of Fire? More like Great Shaft of Fire! No, it’s a Jerry Lee Lewis song and also a euphemism for my penis. Look, forget it. Nevermind. Forget I said anything. 1.4867 0.03433 526 369 59 98
207 Jump in--you just got hired by the Trump administration! 1.4865 0.03162 520 337 113 70
208 I’d tell you to wait for the next one, but this elevator takes an eternity.” 1.4854 0.03098 513 326 125 62
209 This is actually a handbasket. The elevator's over there. 1.4853 0.03028 509 317 137 55
210 Bring marshmallows or there’s hell to pay. 1.4843 0.03279 508 337 96 75
211 Water? I’m going to require a retainer fee. 1.4841 0.03439 504 347 70 87
212 Repent all ye water cooler gossipers! Oh, nice heels. 1.4839 0.03425 498 340 75 83
213 Of course we're going down. 1.4831 0.03029 503 312 137 53
214 We are all former White House press secretaries!” 1.4830 0.03064 501 314 132 55
215 No. This is the GOP elevator, you want the one on the left. 1.4828 0.03166 493 317 115 61
216 The President says fire kills the China virus! Come on in!” 1.4827 0.03055 491 308 132 51
217 Strongly suggest pressing the up button 1.4821 0.03011 504 312 139 52
218 And that’s Gary, he’s here for hitting ‘reply all’ on the company newsletter.” 1.4817 0.03118 492 311 125 56
219 And you worried about a Glass Ceiling? 1.4815 0.03043 486 303 133 50
220 Yes, we all voted for you-know- who! 1.4806 0.03289 489 322 99 68
221 Can you call the White House maintenance unit and shut the door, please? You're letting the truth in. 1.4805 0.03195 487 313 114 60
222 I bet you didn’t believe it when they told you working here was hell! 1.4805 0.03018 487 300 140 47
223 Sally weighed up her options, back to the office or home to her kids for another day in quarantine 1.4804 0.03178 485 310 117 58
224 Come sacrifice yourself for the economy! 1.4804 0.03322 485 321 95 69
225 The worst part? Oddly enough, the elevator music. 1.4803 0.03161 483 307 120 56
226 Oh, you want the elevator to line up with the floor?! Well, we all want ice water. 1.4802 0.03190 454 284 122 48
227 Are you here for the interview for the reporter job at Fox News?" 1.4792 0.03202 480 308 114 58
228 Honestly, the fire isn't the worst part. Someone is on speaker phone in here. 1.4792 0.03006 480 294 142 44
229 Oh!—You know Jared? You should have said so! 1.4790 0.03209 476 305 114 57
230 Bleach was fake news, but fire really does the job! 1.4783 0.03147 483 307 121 55
231 Don't push the HELP button. It's mis-labeled. 1.4779 0.03186 475 303 117 55
232 Not only did he send us to purgatory, that fiend pushed all the buttons. 1.4775 0.03240 467 300 111 56
233 Ironically I got sent here for looking up skirts 1.4767 0.03158 472 301 118 53
234 So how long were you in the Trump Administration ? 1.4766 0.03294 470 307 102 61
235 Hop right in. It’s always a good time to join the Trump Administration. 1.4765 0.03319 468 307 99 62
236 Oh, really? Now you're ready to vote for a woman. 1.4763 0.03284 464 301 105 58
237 Oh, no! A woman scorned! 1.4762 0.03295 462 300 104 58
238 It's not the flames, it's the music. 1.4752 0.03023 463 283 140 40
239 The elevator inspector was not considered essential” 1.4748 0.03098 457 283 131 43
240 Welcome to the "too vain to wear a mask" elevator. 1.4742 0.03159 466 295 121 50
241 Going down for White House briefing room? 1.4735 0.03349 452 296 98 58
242 Nice to meet you, May 2020. I'm April, and this is March, February, and January." 1.4731 0.03611 353 223 93 37
243 Turns out it's paved with bad intentions. 1.4725 0.03107 455 282 129 43
244 It’s perfectly safe. We all injected gasoline before getting in.” 1.4719 0.03329 445 291 99 55
245 Carol from HR realizes that the praise from upper management about the sales team being "on fire" may have been a complaint." 1.4718 0.03215 443 280 117 46
246 Jan had expected her first day to be a figurative baptism by fire 1.4718 0.03215 443 280 117 46
247 It’s Trump’s latest cure for coronavirus. 1.4718 0.03278 443 284 109 50
248 I heard they were firing people but I have to say this is not what I expected” 1.4712 0.03137 452 283 125 44
249 Told you it was a hell hole. 1.4710 0.03077 448 276 133 39
250 Finance is on 4. This is telemarketing. 1.4705 0.03117 440 272 129 39
251 Oh it’s a new cleanse recommendation from the White House. 1.4702 0.03332 436 282 103 51
252 Sorry, Trump administration only... 1.4702 0.03411 436 287 93 56
253 Trust me. Return the funds. 1.4692 0.03252 439 280 112 47
254 Tell the President that Hand Basket One is ready for departure. 1.4690 0.03523 435 294 78 63
255 We had really good intentions 1.4687 0.03093 431 264 132 35
256 Just going to Hell? or to Hell and back? 1.4687 0.03409 431 283 94 54
257 Lawyer ? We have room, hop in. 1.4679 0.03316 436 282 104 50
258 This is the Hellevator. It only goes down. 1.4676 0.03207 432 272 118 42
259 Well after the bleach IVs, I figured we would try Pence’s Sanitizer Flame Bath: purify your thoughts AND your hands!” 1.4674 0.03382 430 281 97 52
260 Hell has been deemed an Essential Workplace 1.4670 0.03335 424 273 104 47
261 Believe it or not, the music is still the worst part. 1.4665 0.03268 433 277 110 46
262 We’re coming for you, Kelly Ann Conway. 1.4659 0.03379 425 277 98 50
263 Someone must have had bad thoughts about BENEVOLENT LEADER. 1.4659 0.03602 425 291 70 64
264 There are enough lawyers in here already. 1.4657 0.03341 423 273 103 47
265 Sorry. This one is reserved for lawyers. 1.4657 0.03358 423 274 101 48
266 Flames? Nah, just alternative facts. 1.4654 0.03448 419 276 91 52
267 You won’t need the briefcase. 1.4648 0.03135 426 264 126 36
268 Welcome to Education, Mrs de Vos 1.4636 0.03492 412 273 87 52
269 If I were you, I'd wait for the next car. 1.4636 0.03371 412 266 101 45
270 Yes, we're going down. What was your first clue? 1.4636 0.03274 412 268 100 44
271 Looks like this one's taken by the FOX news guys, better wait for the next one" 1.4634 0.03348 410 263 104 43
272 We're in that special place for people who hit all the buttons. 1.4632 0.03395 408 264 99 45
273 You want heaven? Take the stairway. 1.4625 0.03347 413 266 103 44
274 Mar-a-Lago Express 1.4619 0.03575 407 274 78 55
275 I didn't believe it when they said that working here was hell. 1.4617 0.03304 405 257 109 39
276 This is the Seventh Circle. You want the Seventh Floor. 1.4615 0.03390 403 260 100 43
277 Right now, not really concerned about social distancing. 1.4615 0.03353 403 258 104 41
278 You want to go up in flames? Take the other elevator. 1.4604 0.03410 404 270 85 49
279 We all had good intentions. 1.4600 0.03219 400 249 118 33
280 I always thought I’d go in a hand basket. 1.4600 0.03481 400 263 90 47
281 Oops, we thought Impeachment was the lowest level. 1.4598 0.03383 398 256 101 41
282 It's not as bad as it looks. We all worked in the White House. 1.4596 0.03377 396 254 102 40
283 The worst part is that everyone keeps cracking, "it's not the heat, it's the humidity" jokes. 1.4594 0.03370 394 252 103 39
284 Reopening is going great. Come on in. 1.4578 0.03446 391 254 95 42
285 We're from the Fire Department - where do you want it? 1.4578 0.03250 391 266 80 45
286 In retrospect, I should have just gotten on when it was the tuba players. 1.4577 0.03503 402 267 86 49
287 Turns out there is a thirteenth floor." 1.4576 0.03342 389 247 106 36
288 Okay I lied. I voted for Trump. 1.4576 0.03516 389 256 88 45
289 Not a drill, apparently. 1.4574 0.03169 387 237 123 27
290 Take the stairway. It goes to heaven! 1.4566 0.03587 392 263 79 50
291 Wanna hear the good news first? 1.4557 0.03164 384 237 120 27
292 Does it LOOK like this is going up? 1.4553 0.03418 380 249 91 40
293 It turns out hand sanitizer is flammable! 1.4541 0.03451 381 247 95 39
294 It’s this or the stairway to heaven. 1.4536 0.03333 377 238 107 32
295 I probably point out the obvious here, but you might be more comfortable using the stairs." 1.4533 0.03532 375 246 88 41
296 No, accounting is still a couple floors lower.” 1.4526 0.03595 380 254 80 46
297 We forgot our passwords. 1.4526 0.03556 380 252 84 44
298 I liked it better when work just felt like hell. 1.4524 0.03347 378 241 102 34
299 "Oh Hell, it's full..." 1.4521 0.03360 376 239 104 33
300 We've been trapped in here for what seems like an eternity. 1.4519 0.03308 374 236 106 31
301 The handbasket is out of service. 1.4519 0.03558 374 247 85 42
302 This is the local, lawyers take the express. 1.4511 0.03560 368 242 86 40
303 Listen to the experts—use the stairs. 1.4511 0.03497 368 239 92 37
304 It's not that bad. They're letting us keep our health insurance until the end of the month. 1.4511 0.03475 368 238 94 36
305 Hi sweety, bet you thought, "see you in hell",was just an expression. 1.4508 0.03467 366 236 95 35
306 Nancy suddenly realized what can happen when you inpatiently push the down button 48 times. 1.4508 0.03657 366 245 77 44
307 They stopped using hand baskets a long time ago. 1.4508 0.03413 366 256 64 46
308 Well of course it's going down! 1.4508 0.03574 366 241 85 40
309 Welcome to President Trump's re-election team!" 1.4499 0.03793 369 255 62 52
310 At least we still have our jobs.” 1.4499 0.03360 369 234 104 31
311 Going down? 1.4493 0.03144 365 254 71 40
312 The repairman was deemed non essential 1.4490 0.03045 363 251 75 37
313 Come on in. We need one more to guarantee herd immunity. 1.4485 0.03688 359 241 75 43
314 What floor is the office of “Make America Great Again” ? 1.4482 0.03551 357 236 82 38
315 Oh and by the way you’re all fired 1.4482 0.03529 357 232 90 35
316 I knew this company was going to hell! 1.4482 0.02498 357 250 77 30
317 Oh Hell, wrong floor! 1.4482 0.03617 357 236 82 39
318 Yes! Going down!! What was your first clue? 1.4475 0.03644 362 241 78 42
319 Do you mind? You're letting the heat out. 1.4475 0.03483 362 236 89 36
320 Have you got the time? My watch melted.” 1.4469 0.03840 358 248 60 50
321 It’s the new normal. 1.4469 0.03431 358 229 98 31
322 We clicked "Reply All." 1.4463 0.03639 354 235 80 39
323 On the plus side, the coffee is the perfect temperature.” 1.4463 0.03341 354 222 106 26
324 There’s a special place for those who don’t know how to use the mute function on the Zoom app. 1.4457 0.03463 350 224 96 30
325 The Trump White House is one Floor down. 1.4457 0.03692 350 234 76 40
326 You might as well get in this one, the other elevator is playing soft jazz. 1.4457 0.03602 350 230 84 36
327 There is no next one. 1.4454 0.03539 357 238 81 38
328 We're going all the way down. 1.4451 0.03587 355 234 84 37
329 Who us? We're the department that denies claims for pre-existing conditions. 1.4451 0.03631 355 236 80 39
330 Don't worry. Hell is just other people. 1.4441 0.03608 358 238 81 39
331 Handcart. Handbasket. Elevator. It's all the same. 1.4438 0.03692 347 232 76 39
332 The commute is hell. 1.4438 0.03554 347 226 88 33
333 This elevator is just for lawyers". 1.4438 0.03737 347 234 72 41
334 I'll be damned if I take this elevator. 1.4438 0.03624 347 229 82 36
335 I guess Trump Tower failed its elevator inspection 1.4435 0.03616 345 227 83 35
336 The handbasket was full, so we're going to hell in an elevator. 1.4435 0.03685 345 230 77 38
337 Eighth floor: Fraud, Nigerian princes, phone solicitors...and a stable geniuses. 1.4432 0.03631 352 234 80 38
338 No, this the express to the Trump campaign. 1.4432 0.03675 352 236 76 40
339 You’d better get in, the next car’s got two guys with tubas. 1.4432 0.02800 352 241 82 29
340 They said a vaccine is coming so don't worry about it. 1.4431 0.03825 343 237 61 45
341 We're the advisors who said it would disappear like a miracle. 1.4431 0.03792 343 233 68 42
342 So glad to see the elevators working again here at Fox News. 1.4431 0.03902 343 238 58 47
343 The sign said ‘Out of Order’ but it seemed like a good time to reopen the economy.” 1.4428 0.03716 341 228 75 38
344 Kellyanne Conway taking the express elevator home after a long day in the Oval Office 1.4428 0.03831 341 233 65 43
345 “You headed to the Oval Office too?” 1.4425 0.03627 348 233 77 38
346 I'll wear a mask when hell freezes over. 1.4425 0.03546 348 227 88 33
347 Attorneys only. 1.4419 0.03575 344 225 86 33
348 Sure it’s hot, but at least Satan believes in science” 1.4418 0.03942 292 193 69 30
349 “This was the moment Sarah questioned how essential her job really was.” 1.4412 0.03700 340 227 76 37
350 Thank goodness! We’ve been stuck in here for an eternity. 1.4412 0.03264 340 216 99 24
351 They made us cook the books and it got out of control. 1.4412 0.03532 340 220 90 30
352 Yes, in fact we are all hedge fund managers. 1.4412 0.03677 340 226 78 36
353 It's performance art. We call it 2020. 1.4412 0.03508 340 219 92 29
354 We’re all in agreement; the Muzak is our number one complaint 1.4412 0.03407 340 215 100 25
355 Hello Secretary DeVos!” 1.4408 0.03901 338 234 59 45
356 After months stuck at home with the kids, Karen couldn't wait to get back to work. 1.4408 0.03621 338 222 83 33
357 No, we're not going up. Not now. Not ever. 1.4405 0.03636 336 221 82 33
358 What a time to run into an old flame! 1.4405 0.03732 336 225 74 37
359 It was only silent but deadly because Janet overdid it with the Lysol. 1.4405 0.04008 336 237 50 49
360 Is this the new Trump express elevator for the White House Press Corps? 1.4401 0.03796 334 226 69 39
361 Ahh. This must be the elevator of good intentions. 1.4401 0.03577 334 217 87 30
362 Heaven? Oh, no -- you want the stairway. 1.4401 0.03843 334 228 65 41
363 Yes, but we don't stop at the lobby. 1.4401 0.03602 334 218 85 31
364 Yes, this goes all the way down 1.4399 0.03597 341 224 84 33
365 Stairway to heaven is at the end of the hall. 1.4398 0.03592 332 216 86 30
366 Down? What do YOU think? 1.4398 0.03741 332 222 74 36
367 and that's why In case of fire you take the stairs 1.4392 0.03724 337 226 74 37
368 The President said that strong heat might help! 1.4392 0.03529 337 218 90 29
369 The terrible thing about hell is that you could already be there and not even know.” 1.4381 0.03773 331 225 68 38
370 Listen lady, in or out, we don’t need any more judgement.” 1.4377 0.03814 329 223 68 38
371 You're not going to need the wool suit. 1.4377 0.03690 329 218 78 33
372 We heard heat kills it.” 1.4367 0.03488 332 213 93 26
373 Actually, the worst part is trying to avoid eye contact. 1.4367 0.03501 332 218 85 29
374 No Ma'am, we're going down. 1.4365 0.03714 323 214 77 32
375 I sense burnout. 1.4364 0.03631 330 217 82 31
376 On second thought, I’ll wait for the hand basket.” 1.4356 0.03663 326 215 80 31
377 It’s not bad, it’s a dry heat” 1.4352 0.03600 324 211 85 28
378 A Handbasket! Not a briefcase... 1.4352 0.03856 324 221 65 38
379 It's a metaphor. 1.4352 0.03730 324 216 75 33
380 Turns out heat does kill the virus. 1.4344 0.03480 320 206 90 24
381 Whoa, are you coughing? Can't come in here. 1.4340 0.03755 318 212 74 32
382 Hi Sue, remember that deal with the devil? Well, it's not just a figure of speech. 1.4338 0.03644 325 214 81 30
383 Looks like Legal is moving floors again”. 1.4335 0.03636 316 206 83 27
384 Sometimes you get the elevator and other times you get the shaft. 1.4335 0.03825 316 213 69 34
385 To get to heaven, you have to take the stairway. 1.4334 0.03814 323 219 68 36
386 Did you order the peons flambé ? 1.4334 0.04082 323 230 46 47
387 Sartre was right, hell is other people. 1.4334 0.03738 323 216 74 33
388 Stairway to heaven? That's down the hall. 1.4334 0.03607 323 211 84 28
389 No thanks, I left the GOP in 2016. . 1.4331 0.03972 314 217 58 39
390 It's not the heat, it's the humidity! 1.4330 0.03649 321 211 81 29
391 This is what you get for selling your soul, Dr Birx. 1.4322 0.03709 317 210 77 30
392 Are you the new Press Secretary?" 1.4317 0.03962 315 218 58 39
393 It's our Constitutional right 1.4317 0.03911 315 216 62 37
394 We couldn't fit in a handbasket. 1.4309 0.03895 311 212 64 35
395 I told you this company is going straight to hell. 1.4309 0.03732 311 206 76 29
396 I knew going back to the office would be hell... 1.4304 0.03664 309 202 81 26
397 Hey, the devil does wear Prada. 1.4304 0.03777 309 206 73 30
398 Sally Ann realized right away that her underground fantasy regarding old flames in an elevator was nigh overdue for a re-draft. 1.4304 0.04019 309 215 55 39
399 I always wondered what would happen if I pushed the down button while I was on the basement floor. 1.4300 0.03878 307 208 66 33
400 The return to normal is going great.” 1.4299 0.03678 314 207 79 28
401 I don’t think the direction makes a difference.” 1.4295 0.03609 305 197 85 23
402 The other one has hornets.” 1.4295 0.03951 305 209 61 35
403 He DOES wear Prada! 1.4276 0.03876 304 206 66 32
404 Tell Jeff I may not make the 10:00. 1.4276 0.03616 304 197 84 23
405 Which floor is the Trump fundraiser? 1.4272 0.04006 302 209 57 36
406 Liz realized that every nightmare she had involved work. 1.4272 0.03867 302 204 67 31
407 This level is full. Find your own hell. 1.4272 0.03867 302 204 67 31
408 All I said was "Hydroxychloroquine looks promising." 1.4267 0.03914 300 204 64 32
409 You might wanna catch the next elevator; this one is going straight to hell. 1.4267 0.03970 300 206 60 34
410 Our real punishment is being forced to tell the same ''This one only goes down!' joke every time someone opens the door. 1.4262 0.03666 305 200 80 25
411 What do you have to lose? 1.4262 0.03875 298 201 67 30
412 You probably should take the stairs. 1.4262 0.03875 298 201 67 30
413 Don’t worry - it’s just a Zoom background.” 1.4257 0.03940 303 208 61 34
414 It started as a team-building exercise. 1.4257 0.03923 296 201 64 31
415 All the disinfectant is sold out, but we’ve found a way to bring a tremendous, very powerful light inside the body. 1.4257 0.03923 296 201 64 31
416 The other elevator is for High Water. 1.4257 0.03864 296 199 68 29
417 As if 2020 couldn’t get any worse... 1.4252 0.03875 301 204 66 31
418 Heaven gets a stairway. We find this to be more efficient. 1.4252 0.03729 301 197 75 26
419 Would you like to see the president? This way please.” 1.4252 0.03959 301 207 60 34
420 "So Betty, it turns out this day could get worse." 1.4252 0.03846 301 203 68 30
421 This gives a whole new meaning to firing employees... 1.4252 0.03699 301 198 78 25
422 The worst part is we stop at every floor. 1.4242 0.03749 297 199 71 27
423 Is this part of the interview? 1.4242 0.03672 297 196 77 24
424 It may look bad at first glance, but the heat kills the virus. 1.4242 0.03672 297 194 80 23
425 Come on down! Vote Republican. 1.4237 0.04047 295 205 55 35
426 The new office disinfecting protocols seem extreme” 1.4232 0.03861 293 197 68 28
427 You were right about not voting for Trump. 1.4232 0.04067 293 204 54 35
428 You know that sign that said, "In case of fire, use stairs."? -- they really mean it! 1.4232 0.03800 293 195 72 26
429 Take the stairs, trust me. 1.4221 0.03594 289 198 65 26
430 U.S. Senate 1.4221 0.03960 289 197 62 30
431 We're from Legal, on a team-building trip. 1.4221 0.03868 289 194 68 27
432 Looks like greed wasn’t good after all 1.4218 0.03759 294 197 71 26
433 Welcome to the White House, Councilor! 1.4216 0.03949 287 195 63 29
434 No, P is Purgatory, you want parking on G — Garage. 1.4216 0.03887 287 193 67 27
435 We’re hydroxycholorquine testers, you?” 1.4216 0.03694 287 187 79 21
436 Well look who didn’t read the sign about not using the elevator in case of fire? 1.4216 0.03855 287 192 69 26
437 Trump recommended this cure. 1.4216 0.04130 287 201 51 35
438 Sartre was right. It IS other people. 1.4211 0.03969 285 194 62 29
439 You're in the right place - this is Trump Tower. 1.4211 0.04181 285 201 48 36
440 This is for hedge fund managers. Lawyers have to use the stairs. 1.4211 0.03969 285 194 62 29
441 We are confident it is now safe to return to work." 1.4196 0.04019 286 197 58 31
442 This is lust, greed is on fourth 1.4181 0.03853 287 193 68 26
443 Didn’t you guys read the sign? “In case of fire, use stairs” 1.4173 0.03523 278 191 64 23
444 Welcome to the Presidents Covid 19 briefing 1.4173 0.04039 278 191 58 29
445 Congratulations on passing the Bar Exam. 1.4173 0.03974 278 189 62 27
446 We have the constitutional right to burn to death" 1.4167 0.04092 276 191 55 30
447 We thought about injecting disinfectants but this actually made more sense.” 1.4167 0.03994 276 188 61 27
448 This is why I don’t pay for underground parking 1.4167 0.03649 276 198 49 29
449 Don’t worry, the boss says it’s just a drill. 1.4167 0.02410 276 202 54 20
450 It’s really only ‘damned if you don’t.’ The rest is speculation. 1.4167 0.03961 276 187 63 26
451 Look at us.Of course we're going down. 1.4167 0.03994 276 188 61 27
452 The worst part is actually the endless small talk 1.4164 0.03778 281 186 73 22
453 You might want to wait for the next one. This one will be going down for quite a while. 1.4164 0.03910 281 190 65 26
454 This is the circle of hell for people who keep pushing the elevator buttons over and over again. 1.4164 0.03778 281 186 73 22
455 They fired you too? 1.4161 0.03630 274 188 63 23
456 Your boss is down here and says he needs you right away. 1.4161 0.02726 274 192 65 17
457 Sorry, upper management only. 1.4161 0.03810 274 181 72 21
458 I never should have taken that job with the Trump campaign" 1.4158 0.04215 279 198 46 35
459 Well, of course, we're going down. 1.4158 0.03897 279 188 66 25
460 You're close; the Republican National Convention is three floors down. 1.4152 0.03950 277 188 63 26
461 Mind the gap " 1.4139 0.03853 273 182 69 22
462 Considering whether to join the Trump Administration. 1.4139 0.04156 273 191 51 31
463 Well, where did you THINK lobbyists went? 1.4139 0.03990 273 186 61 26
464 First day huh?” 1.4133 0.03801 271 179 72 20
465 If you want less crowded, try the one that goes up. 1.4133 0.04079 271 187 56 28
466 In retrospect, maybe we shouldn’t have protested the quarantine. 1.4133 0.03907 271 182 66 23
467 It's not so bad...it's a dry heat. 1.4133 0.03801 271 179 72 20
468 No mask? Join us 1.4133 0.04011 271 185 60 26
469 The stairway to heaven is actually by the bathrooms. 1.4133 0.03977 271 184 62 25
470 No, we’re going down. 1.4126 0.03892 269 180 67 22
471 Sorry, this elevator’s for lobbyists only. 1.4126 0.03963 269 182 63 24
472 Watch that first step; it’s a hell of a drop. 1.4126 0.03997 269 183 61 25
473 Well it beats going in a hand basket... 1.4122 0.04001 262 177 62 23
474 Don't hit down. It's hell. 1.4120 0.04223 267 188 48 31
475 And you thought social distancing was hell! 1.4118 0.03790 272 180 72 20
476 Trust me, you want the up elevator. 1.4118 0.03999 272 186 60 26
477 Mind hitting up? 1.4118 0.03861 272 189 57 26
478 We all forgot to forward e-mail chains to at least six of our friends! 1.4118 0.04230 272 193 46 33
479 It will only feel like an eternity" 1.4113 0.03669 265 171 79 15
480 If I were you I would put those post-its back in the supply room. 1.4113 0.03821 265 175 71 19
481 I didn’t expect the employee barbecue to be so literal 1.4113 0.04213 265 186 49 30
482 Hell, wrong floor again! 1.4113 0.04075 265 182 57 26
483 This one is going down — eternally. 1.4113 0.03968 265 179 63 23
484 We accidentally hit ‘reply all’ on the email from corporate. 1.4100 0.03860 261 175 66 20
485 Purgatory? That's the next floor up. 1.4091 0.04013 264 180 60 24
486 Everything is reopened; it’s Hell down there! 1.4091 0.03867 264 176 68 20
487 I said appeal to the Ninth Circuit, not the Ninth Circle. 1.4084 0.03961 262 177 63 22
488 Next time, can we just do the basic escape room team-building exercise? 1.4084 0.04034 262 179 59 24
489 It's not technically a handbasket, but you get the idea. 1.4084 0.03772 262 172 73 17
490 Stairway to heaven? Oh, that’s right around the corner. This is the elevator to hell. 1.4077 0.03830 260 172 70 18
491 I think it should be obvious which way it's going. 1.4077 0.04056 260 178 58 24
492 Damned if you do 1.4077 0.03830 260 172 70 18
493 We worked for Trump! 1.4077 0.04164 260 181 52 27
494 It’s fine. Trump says this will blow over by Summer. 1.4077 0.04129 260 180 54 26
495 We don’t normally do Walk-Ins, but seeing that you’re a Lawyer, we’ll make an exception. 1.4077 0.04164 260 181 52 27
496 They did say the first day back to work was going to be lit” 1.4070 0.04041 258 176 59 23
497 Karen peered into the abyss...2 feet apart, no masks...I suppose they deserve it, she mused. 1.4070 0.04151 258 179 53 26
498 On a scale from 0 to 10 it feels like 2020. 1.4070 0.04329 258 184 43 31
499 Well they did claim to be New York’s hottest law firm 1.4070 0.03810 258 170 71 17
500 What’s there to explain, it’s 2020. 1.4070 0.04187 258 180 51 27
501 Welcome to the White House 1.4070 0.04223 258 181 49 28
502 Honey! It's not what it looks like. 1.4062 0.04100 256 176 56 24
503 You forgot to mute yourself on a Zoom meeting, too? 1.4061 0.04080 261 180 56 25
504 The flames aren't as bad as the music 1.4055 0.03809 254 167 71 16
505 Come on down. We're cooking the books. 1.4055 0.03930 254 170 65 19
506 Would you mind pressing “up?” 1.4055 0.03890 254 169 67 18
507 These fire drills are getting out of hand 1.4054 0.03991 259 176 61 22
508 They say it's not safe to get in a burning elevator but the government can't tell me what to do 1.4054 0.04102 259 179 55 25
509 Then the day came when Barbara’s misgivings about accepting the job with the Dante Elevator Company were confirmed.” 1.4048 0.04259 252 177 48 27
510 This is the "took his tweets seriously" section 1.4048 0.04332 252 179 44 29
511 I'll be damned before I take the stairs! 1.4048 0.04146 252 174 54 24
512 Circle Four. Lobbyists. Going down. 1.4046 0.03958 262 178 62 22
513 Don’t worry! The other car stops on Purgatory. 1.4040 0.04052 250 170 59 21
514 Apparently the P stands for Purgatory not Penthouse. 1.4040 0.03721 250 177 51 22
515 When you said working downstairs is hell, I thought you meant it figuratively. 1.4039 0.03917 255 171 65 19
516 We pressed 'Fire Dept.' and now we're too scared to try anything else" 1.4039 0.04034 255 174 59 22
517 Yes, this is the fire exit. 1.4039 0.03917 255 171 65 19
518 No, sorry, we are not headed up... 1.4039 0.04184 255 178 50 26
519 Well, it was either eternal damnation or the stairs. 1.4024 0.04117 251 173 55 23
520 It started when we cooked the books. 1.4024 0.03836 251 168 66 17
521 Now that you've broken the glass ceiling, you may advance to your next challenge. 1.4016 0.04101 249 171 56 22
522 We were expecting the new White House press secretary. 1.4016 0.04256 249 175 48 26
523 Thanks to her foresight and a few reasonably priced products on Amazon, that was the last time anyone at the office failed to hold the door for Karen.” 1.4008 0.04468 247 179 37 31
524 Sorry guys, this was the only way we could re-open the economy 1.4008 0.04203 247 172 51 24
525 Not yet. But eventually, all corporate lawyers get here" 1.4008 0.04163 247 171 53 23
526 Hurry Kellyanne, this is the only one that stops at the 9th circle of hell! 1.4008 0.04319 247 175 45 27
527 You weren't kidding, Human Resources IS hell on earth. 1.4008 0.03877 247 164 67 16
528 I feel like I'm spending too much time just putting out fires. 1.4008 0.04163 247 171 53 23
529 We don't mind the heat, but the Muzak is stuck on Guy Lombardo. 1.4008 0.04124 247 170 55 22
530 We dared to suggest unionizing. 1.4008 0.04280 247 174 47 26
531 And they said we were ready to reopen the business 1.4008 0.04026 252 172 59 21
532 Because a handbasket is soooo 20th century. 1.4000 0.04106 245 168 56 21
533 Did you vote for a Republican lift? 1.3984 0.04173 246 171 52 23
534 We’re going down to protest the Stay at Home order, you in?” 1.3983 0.04356 241 171 44 26
535 Not that different, really. Picture an all-staff meeting, but Perry from accounting is the only one speaking. And it goes on forever.” 1.3983 0.04069 241 164 58 19
536 Did you deem elevator maintenance nonessential Karen?” 1.3983 0.04194 241 167 52 22
537 Tell the boss that we're all very much looking forward to seeing him again. 1.3983 0.04316 241 170 46 25
538 You never know where you'll run into an old flame. 1.3983 0.04026 241 163 60 18
539 This is Legal. Marketing is two circles down. 1.3983 0.04194 241 167 52 22
540 We used "impact" as a verb. 1.3983 0.03983 241 162 62 17
541 We told you we’d see you in Hell, Karen. 1.3975 0.03991 244 165 61 18
542 It's a little hot, but it kills the coronavirus. 1.3975 0.04116 244 168 55 21
543 I told you "I'll see you in hell" and I meant it. 1.3975 0.04277 244 172 47 25
544 you’re really bringing your work?” 1.3975 0.04219 239 166 50 22
545 You seemed eager to get in when you shouted for us to hold the elevator. 1.3975 0.04301 239 168 47 24
546 This is the express elevator to the West Wing. 1.3975 0.04382 239 170 43 26
547 Oh hi Cynthia I guess I really was a bastard. 1.3975 0.04219 239 166 51 22
548 Well there you have it, the lazy Americans who still can't take the stairs in case of a fire. 1.3966 0.04243 237 165 50 22
549 Don’t worry, it’s for the good of the economy 1.3958 0.04327 240 170 45 25
550 This is really not as bad as are the briefings in the oval office! 1.3958 0.04327 240 170 45 25
551 Turns out purgatory is just being stuck between floors 10 and 11" 1.3957 0.04226 235 163 51 21
552 It’s OK, get in! All Trump Tower elevators do this now. The President ordered it after finding that fire had a 100% coronavirus kill rate.” 1.3957 0.04395 235 167 43 25
553 Make room for my divorce lawyer. 1.3957 0.04226 235 163 51 21
554 Well, TECHNICALLY it's a lift, but I wouldn't get my hopes up if I were you. 1.3957 0.04095 235 160 57 18
555 No, you don't have to wear a mask. 1.3957 0.04183 235 162 53 20
556 What did you expect at 666 Fifth Avenue? 1.3957 0.04226 235 163 51 21
557 Join the Trump party! 1.3957 0.04436 235 168 41 26
558 "You may be over dressed, Judy" 1.3950 0.04271 238 167 48 23
559 People over profits, Sally .... don’t make our mistake! 1.3950 0.04101 238 163 56 19
560 Our whole Department was given the shaft. 1.3950 0.04014 238 161 60 17
561 It was this or high water. 1.3950 0.04058 238 162 58 18
562 Would you hit the “up” please? 1.3950 0.04058 238 162 58 18
563 The elevator should be just about sanitized. 1.3950 0.04144 238 164 54 20
564 No, you're in hell too, just in management. 1.3950 0.04144 238 164 54 20
565 We pushed the button that said, "good intentions". 1.3950 0.04144 238 164 53 20
566 It's quicker and more comfortable than in a handbasket. 1.3950 0.04014 238 161 60 17
567 That’s OK - I’ll wait for the next one. 1.3941 0.04168 236 163 53 20
568 Take the stairwell to heaven 1.3941 0.03216 236 176 40 20
569 Don't push the Up button, unless you want to raise hell. 1.3935 0.04536 216 153 41 22
570 I microwaved some fish in the break room. What are you here for? 1.3933 0.04297 239 169 46 24
571 Susan’s staff quickly grew tired of her team building activities. 1.3932 0.04192 234 162 52 20
572 Is that the whole Trump administration? 1.3932 0.04192 234 162 52 20
573 On the bright side, we are all naked. 1.3932 0.03921 234 156 64 14
574 Oh, sorry...for heaven, you need to take the stairway. 1.3932 0.04279 234 164 48 22
575 It's the hellevator. 1.3932 0.04104 234 160 56 18
576 Sorry, we're not accepting any more lawyers. 1.3932 0.04148 234 161 54 19
577 Y'know, working from home really wasn't that bad 1.3932 0.04406 234 166 42 25
578 Down is hell, up is corporate. Take your pick. 1.3922 0.04036 232 157 59 16
579 Heaven? Try the stairway. 1.3906 0.04158 233 161 53 19
580 It's not pleasant, but it still beats taking the stairs in heels. 1.3906 0.04113 233 160 55 18
581 We’re on our break; the non-smoking elevator is on the right 1.3904 0.04176 228 157 53 18
582 Oh, Hell. 1.3904 0.04268 228 159 49 20
583 The new office manager takes fire drills very seriously 1.3904 0.03889 228 151 65 12
584 - “going down I presume” 1.3904 0.04357 228 161 45 22
585 Always use the stairs in case of fire. 1.3904 0.04313 228 160 47 21
586 Bad news, Susan. You're fired. 1.3904 0.04176 228 157 53 18
587 There's a stairway to heaven across the hall. 1.3904 0.04401 228 162 43 23
588 Someone accidentally pushed 6 three times! 1.3904 0.04222 228 158 51 19
589 Seriously, don't push the down button. 1.3904 0.04176 228 157 53 18
590 If you’re another expert headed for the Oval Office, we should talk. 1.3904 0.04357 228 161 45 22
591 This one's for executives only. 1.3904 0.04357 228 161 45 22
592 Where in hell do want to go? 1.3896 0.04315 231 163 46 22
593 I can see up your skirt, which is also why I am here. 1.3896 0.04227 231 161 50 20
594 The President says that high heat kills the corona virus. 1.3896 0.04444 231 166 40 25
595 Yes, this is the elevator of good intentions 1.3896 0.04182 231 160 52 19
596 In here we can't social distance but the flames should kill the virus. 1.3896 0.04182 231 160 52 19
597 MAGA rally? . . . downstairs! 1.3896 0.04402 231 165 42 24
598 Not to point fingers, but you really should only be two people in the elevator at a time during these times!” 1.3894 0.04339 226 159 46 21
599 2020 in a nutshell” 1.3894 0.04293 226 158 48 20
600 I say, might you have any Grey Poupon? 1.3894 0.03960 226 153 59 14
601 End of November Betsy DeVos Staff Party 1.3894 0.04339 226 159 46 21
602 This time we’re testing Trump’s theory before the press conference. 1.3894 0.04339 226 159 46 21
603 you will be fine, it is all a hoax 1.3894 0.03910 226 160 48 18
604 See you in hell. 1.3894 0.04058 226 153 58 15
605 Meeting Trump? 1.3894 0.04729 226 168 28 30
606 Would you be so kind as to push the up bouton?” 1.3894 0.02830 226 159 57 10
607 Oh, this is the sixth level, lawyers are on seven... 1.3894 0.04247 226 157 50 19
608 This one's stuck again, but you can always take the hand basket. 1.3894 0.04517 226 163 38 25
609 Meeting in person again would be fun, they said. No more masks and distancing, they said. 1.3894 0.04293 226 158 48 20
610 No, this is the second circle. You want the fifth circle. 1.3894 0.04247 226 157 50 19
611 I've had a change of attitude about respect for women, Ms. God. 1.3894 0.04645 226 166 32 28
612 It’s ok, the music surprisingly distracts you from the fire.” 1.3886 0.04252 229 160 49 20
613 And remember - we’re all in this together!” 1.3884 0.04273 224 156 49 19
614 Hmmm. Turns out working here really is Hell. 1.3884 0.04226 224 155 51 18
615 So, is this Hell or just a continuation of Trump's America? 1.3884 0.04457 224 160 41 23
616 You’re not wearing panties. 1.3884 0.03264 224 167 39 18
617 It's the helevator, it only goes down. 1.3884 0.04457 224 160 41 23
618 Work has been hell today” 1.3879 0.04168 232 161 52 19
619 Maybe working remotely and home schooling the kids was the better option. 1.3877 0.04323 227 160 46 21
620 Yes, we're going down, but at least the market is going up 1.3874 0.04252 222 154 50 18
621 This floor is legal. You want 665. 1.3874 0.04299 222 155 48 19
622 Maybe it’d help if you stopped calling us the coworkers from hell. 1.3874 0.04346 222 156 46 20
623 It's a lot faster than a handbasket. 1.3874 0.04155 222 152 54 16
624 I told you you’d regret voting for Trump... 1.3867 0.04440 225 161 41 23
625 So, you pressed ‘Reply All’ on that corporate email too? Come on in.” 1.3864 0.04278 220 153 49 18
626 It could be worse. We could be trapped with our families at home. 1.3864 0.04129 220 150 55 15
627 Hell of a commute 1.3864 0.03816 220 144 67 9
628 I didn't realize being fired at this company was so literal. 1.3864 0.04421 220 156 43 21
629 If you’re going down, it’ll be an eternity. 1.3864 0.04278 220 153 49 18
630 I'll just use the stairs. 1.3864 0.04179 220 151 53 16
631 It’s only going down, if you think it’s going down” 1.3860 0.04077 228 156 56 16
632 Turns out B stands for “Beelzebub”. 1.3853 0.04205 218 150 52 16
633 “Have you seen Larry from maintenance?” 1.3853 0.03891 218 144 64 10
634 Don’t worry, Jan! The government said we’re safe!” 1.3853 0.04353 218 153 46 19
635 Oh, I’ll just attend the meeting via Zoom 1.3853 0.03945 218 150 54 14
636 What are you doing after life? 1.3853 0.04255 218 151 50 17
637 So it is true...You can go to hell and back. 1.3853 0.03945 218 145 62 11
638 Lady, could you call the Fire Department before all Hell breaks loose? 1.3853 0.04103 218 148 56 14
639 This one takes an eternity. 1.3853 0.04449 218 155 42 21
640 Trust me. Take the next! 1.3853 0.04401 218 154 44 20
641 Recommend you take the stairway to heaven" 1.3846 0.04497 221 159 39 23
642 You might want to take the next one. This is for Wall Street only. 1.3843 0.04230 216 149 51 16
643 It's ok, we've reached the right temperature to kill the virus in here!" 1.3843 0.03968 216 144 61 11
644 Is this the DeVos Family reunion? I thought you all gathered last week in the state capitols!?” 1.3843 0.04380 216 152 45 19
645 We landed the NRA account. 1.3843 0.04620 216 157 35 24
646 This one's going ALL the way down. 1.3843 0.04478 216 154 41 21
647 You wouldn’t happen to have a handbasket, would you? 1.3836 0.04385 219 154 44 20
648 Come on in. I think we're through the worst of it." 1.3829 0.04100 222 152 55 15
649 Yes this is the good-intentions elevator” 1.3829 0.04198 222 154 51 17
650 Everyone here has been fired” 1.3825 0.04240 217 153 46 18
651 This years Burning Man — hyper-localized.” 1.3825 0.04265 217 151 49 17
652 Next stop Dante's Inferno. 1.3825 0.02781 217 159 46 12
653 Hey, Lady! Quick, throw me a handbasket! 1.3825 0.04364 217 153 45 19
654 Is the President down there with you? 1.3825 0.04412 217 154 43 20
655 Carnal sins? You want the ninth floor. This is accounting. 1.3825 0.04060 217 147 57 13
656 Oh, sorry, I'm supposed to be going up" "Yeah, so were we 1.3825 0.04214 217 150 51 16
657 Down for the Pro-Trump Liberate America Rally 1.3814 0.04391 215 152 44 19
658 Yes, Captain Obvious. We’re going down in flames. 1.3814 0.04291 215 150 48 17
659 I don't care about science or what the government says, it's my right as a an American to burn in this elevator! 1.3814 0.04240 215 149 50 16
660 HEAT KILLS THE VIRUS! 1.3814 0.04679 215 158 32 25
661 Excuse me fellas, do you have a moment to talk about our lord and saviour Jesus Christ?" 1.3807 0.04491 218 157 39 22
662 To Hell with this.” 1.3807 0.04491 218 157 39 22
663 We should have voted for you, Hilary, can you save us? 1.3807 0.04396 218 155 43 20
664 This is floor 2020...you may want to get on at 2021 instead.” 1.3796 0.04472 216 155 40 21
665 It was at that moment Emily realized it might be better to shelter in place 1.3791 0.04022 211 142 58 11
666 Abandon all hope; and please stand clear of the closing doors. 1.3791 0.04187 211 145 52 14
667 Gladys, they fired you too?! 1.3791 0.04397 211 149 44 18
668 This is the express elevator. West Wing and Cabinet members only. 1.3790 0.04657 219 162 31 26
669 Are you the new White House Press Secretary? I’ll see you to your office.” 1.3785 0.04501 214 154 39 21
670 Don’t worry, it’s just like the flu” 1.3785 0.04402 214 152 43 19
671 Relax Karen, it's just a flu 1.3785 0.04402 214 152 43 19
672 Don’t worry, guys. One day, like a miracle, it will just disappear!” 1.3785 0.04645 214 157 33 24
673 This is the Hellevator. You want the other one. 1.3785 0.04452 214 153 41 20
674 Trust me, you want the one that's going up. 1.3785 0.04501 214 154 39 21
675 Yes, we're headed to the Senate Chamber, why? 1.3785 0.04352 214 151 45 18
676 He said ‘the heat generally speaking kills this kind of virus.’” 1.3780 0.04425 209 148 43 18
677 Yeah but it’s a dry heat... 1.3780 0.04373 209 147 45 17
678 Has anyone seen POTUS?” 1.3780 0.04477 209 149 41 19
679 Ugh! Did I press H instead of L again?” 1.3780 0.04373 209 147 45 17
680 Sorry, this is the express for the Trump Administration. 1.3780 0.04579 209 151 37 21
681 Going up? I wish! 1.3780 0.04102 209 142 55 12
682 Yes. All the way. 1.3774 0.04224 212 147 50 15
683 What the hell? 1.3768 0.04558 207 149 37 20
684 Next time, have Janet in I.T. set up the firewall.” 1.3768 0.04348 207 145 46 16
685 Oh Dave, this is what happens when one drinks bleach and then toots in tight spaces. 1.3768 0.04857 207 155 26 26
686 I’d rather go to hell than take the stairs in these heels” 1.3768 0.04454 207 147 42 18
687 We are essential workers; every day it’s to hell and back. 1.3768 0.04401 207 146 44 17
688 I want you to handle my appeal. 1.3768 0.04126 207 141 54 12
689 We could use a woman scorned. 1.3768 0.04558 207 149 38 20
690 We don't belong here. We were shafted. 1.3768 0.04348 207 145 46 16
691 Sorry You have to take the stairway to get to heaven 1.3768 0.04069 207 140 56 11
692 I'd tell you to watch your step but that ship has sailed. 1.3768 0.04294 207 144 48 15
693 Sorry. We have plenty of lawyers. 1.3768 0.04183 207 147 44 16
694 Can you tell security there's a metaphor stuck between floors. 1.3756 0.04321 205 143 47 15
695 Thank God, we've been stuck down here, like forever 1.3756 0.04152 205 140 53 12
696 Is this the re-penthouse suite? 1.3756 0.04793 205 152 29 24
697 Yes, this is the special elevator for those who won't wear masks. 1.3756 0.04484 205 146 41 18
698 See you soon. 1.3744 0.03998 203 146 42 15
699 Can you let Allan know that I won’t be in the budget meeting? 1.3744 0.04459 203 144 42 17
700 “‘Push all the buttons’ they said. ‘It will be fun’ they said...” 1.3744 0.04404 203 143 44 16
701 The stairway goes to heaven. 1.3744 0.04514 203 145 40 18
702 Yeah, well, wait till you see the stairs. 1.3744 0.03937 203 135 60 8
703 That's right, the Ninth Circle, the Eighth Circle is full. 1.3744 0.04349 203 142 46 15
704 The administration said fire extinguishers were on the way. 1.3744 0.04459 203 144 42 17
705 It's a common mistake. The 'H' is silent. 1.3744 0.04349 203 142 46 15
706 Right this way to see the president. 1.3744 0.04927 203 153 24 26
707 On the other hand, now I know what the red button does. 1.3744 0.04459 203 144 42 17
708 There's room for one more lawyer. 1.3744 0.04404 203 143 44 16
709 Please , please take the Stairway to Heaven 1.3744 0.04567 203 146 38 19
710 "Only some are flames. The rest are shark fins." 1.3738 0.04518 206 148 39 19
711 No thank you I’ll be going to hell in a hand basket 1.3738 0.04466 206 147 41 18
712 It's not so bad, really, except for the music. 1.3738 0.04248 206 143 49 14
713 We heard you’re an expert in trial by fire. 1.3738 0.04358 206 145 45 16
714 No. Does it really look to you like we’re going up? 1.3738 0.04248 206 143 49 14
715 Elevator at The White House. 1.3737 0.04650 198 142 36 19
716 I think I'll remote in to that next meeting. 1.3731 0.04489 201 141 39 16
717 People say “Go to hell!” like it’s a bad thing, but hey, at least we got out of the house. 1.3731 0.04433 201 142 43 16
718 New White House intern’s first day. 1.3731 0.04679 201 149 30 22
719 This is the sixth circle, you'll need to head to the eigth circle to find Fox News. 1.3731 0.04599 201 145 37 19
720 We tried bleach but it is the heat that indeed kills the virus. 1.3731 0.04489 201 143 41 17
721 Huh - who knew there were elevators in the White House. 1.3731 0.04544 201 144 39 18
722 Trump said it would prevent and cure Covid-19! And he's a perfect genius! 1.3731 0.04913 201 151 25 25
723 But our leader said that heat will kill the virus. 1.3731 0.04291 201 142 44 15
724 We voted Republican last election. 1.3731 0.04652 201 146 35 20
725 New safety measure... someone coughed in here. 1.3731 0.04143 201 137 53 11
726 This is the Express; there's no stop at Purgatory. 1.3731 0.04203 201 143 43 15
727 On the plus side, it's a virus-free zone. 1.3731 0.04262 201 139 49 13
728 Over time, Judith noticed the building was turning into a real hell hole. 1.3725 0.04275 204 141 48 14
729 Give us 3 minutes. We're making a Tiktok." 1.3725 0.04102 204 139 54 11
730 They told me it was going up! 1.3725 0.04387 204 144 44 16
731 Just be sure to hit the button with your elbow! 1.3725 0.04331 204 143 46 15
732 Yes, no masks in Hell and we're closer than six feet. 1.3725 0.04441 204 145 42 17
733 Welcome to the Executive Committee! 1.3713 0.04471 202 144 41 17
734 Yes, going down. Way down. 1.3713 0.04415 202 143 43 16
735 It’ll be a bit for the next one. It’s getting a little crowded down here. 1.3707 0.04258 205 143 48 14
736 Help! This guy just coughed into his hand! 1.3706 0.04376 197 138 45 14
737 I think you're looking for Accounting. This one's headed to Legal. 1.3706 0.04133 197 134 53 10
738 What did you expect—a handbasket? 1.3706 0.04493 197 140 41 16
739 I thought Trump's new Coronavirus solution started next week. 1.3700 0.04182 200 145 39 16
740 Is this the elevator straight to hell or to accounting? 1.3700 0.04272 200 139 48 13
741 First day?” 1.3700 0.04388 200 141 44 15
742 My advice? Take the stairway to Paradise on the other side of the lobby. 1.3700 0.04212 200 138 50 12
743 It's the awkward silence that's killing me. 1.3700 0.04388 200 141 44 15
744 No mask? Step right in. 1.3700 0.04212 200 138 50 12
745 Okay who farted? 1.3700 0.04927 200 151 24 25
746 It would have been nice if you clarified what you meant by 'making sacrifices'. 1.3700 0.04501 200 143 40 17
747 No, this is the 8th circle. Greed is on four. 1.3700 0.04501 200 143 40 17
748 "You might wanna wait for the next one." 1.3692 0.04284 195 135 48 12
749 It’s fine. We’re fine. I’m fine. 1.3692 0.04284 195 135 48 12
750 Don’t press the emergency fire button - it’s not what you think 1.3692 0.04405 195 137 44 14
751 You might want to take the Stairway to Heaven to your left. 1.3692 0.04465 195 138 42 15
752 The heat and flames you get used to...but that damn alarm... 1.3692 0.02146 195 149 36 10
753 We have a special place here for accountants. 1.3692 0.04465 195 138 42 15
754 First day here at the law firm? 1.3692 0.04221 195 134 50 11
755 If only you had forwarded the chain emails 1.3687 0.04531 198 142 39 17
756 Miss Grimes! Did you press the ‘Abandon all hope ye who enter here’ button out of simple curiosity as well?” 1.3687 0.04531 198 142 39 17
757 No, it's the next one....this is the hellivator 1.3687 0.04698 198 145 33 20
758 Are you going down in flames or up in smoke? 1.3687 0.04531 198 142 39 17
759 It was actually quite nice until Trump showed up. 1.3687 0.04299 198 138 47 13
760 The devil is ready for your 2:00 Ms Coulter.” 1.3679 0.04435 193 136 43 14
761 “we were just trying Trump’s last tip” 1.3679 0.04614 193 139 37 17
762 Just extreme heat kills the virus, didn't you know that?" 1.3679 0.04248 193 133 49 11
763 Deborah suddenly realized she could burn calories by taking the elevator after all 1.3679 0.04248 193 133 49 11
764 Excuse me, miss. Is it safe to climb back into the frying pan?" 1.3679 0.04311 193 134 47 12
765 New pandemic guidelines. You must be engulfed in cleansing fire to ride the elevator.” 1.3679 0.04672 193 140 35 18
766 Hop on! Hell is way better than 2020." 1.3679 0.04555 193 138 39 16
767 I didn’t know this is what they meant by ‘millions of US workers fired.’ ” 1.3679 0.04729 193 141 33 19
768 Oh hell, I guess I’ll take the stairs. 1.3679 0.04435 193 136 43 14
769 Ground floor? Sorry, we’re going all the way down. 1.3679 0.04374 193 135 45 13
770 The fire service button isn't what you think it is 1.3679 0.04404 193 138 40 15
771 Carol, horrified at the sight, witnessed four people in the elevator not wearing masks or social distancing. 1.3679 0.04672 193 140 35 18
772 You're right. There was a New Yorker cartoon involving an elevator just last month. 1.3679 0.04374 193 135 45 13
773 No, I'm sorry, we're going down. 1.3679 0.04374 193 135 45 13
774 Hi Janice. Did you get fired too? 1.3679 0.04119 193 131 53 9
775 Heavenators are on the other side of the lobby. 1.3679 0.04842 193 143 29 21
776 Portal to Hell? Worse, accounting. 1.3679 0.04435 193 136 43 14
777 Better this than the tubas. 1.3679 0.04404 193 138 40 15
778 Thanks, but I’m waiting for the hand basket. 1.3679 0.04555 193 138 39 16
779 It all started when I asked for a plastic bag at Whole Foods" 1.3673 0.04327 196 137 46 13
780 Legally I’m still gonna have to take your temperature” 1.3673 0.04562 196 141 38 17
781 Up?! Are you kidding? 1.3673 0.04327 196 137 46 13
782 You know, there's a special circle in Hell reserved for people who push both the up and down buttons. 1.3673 0.04327 196 137 46 13
783 You think YOUR life is a living hell? 1.3673 0.04204 196 135 50 11
784 I told you this would happen when you went to work at the White House 1.3668 0.04398 199 141 43 15
785 We're the recently deceased members of Trumps' cabinet on our way to our well earned reward. 1.3668 0.04512 199 143 39 17
786 I mean, when you accept a position in the Department of Education, you know what you’re getting into. 1.3660 0.03101 194 146 36 12
787 Are you going up or down in flames? 1.3660 0.04416 194 137 43 14
788 I wouldn’t wait for maintenance. Could take an eternity. 1.3660 0.04476 194 138 41 15
789 Well, I guess it beats a hand basket. 1.3660 0.04709 194 142 33 19
790 The wait is an eternity 1.3660 0.04262 194 137 44 13
791 When they said getting back to work would be hell, they weren't kidding. 1.3660 0.04231 194 134 49 11
792 They assured us it was safe to go back to work! 1.3660 0.04416 194 137 43 14
793 Was there a new CDC guideline released this morning? 1.3655 0.04248 197 137 48 12
794 We're working from home. What about you? 1.3651 0.04304 189 131 47 11
795 Everything is fine, just getting used to the new normal." 1.3646 0.04446 192 136 42 14
796 Let me guess, going down?" 1.3646 0.04193 192 132 50 10
797 Are you standing at least 6 feet apart? 1.3646 0.04507 192 137 39 15
798 Hell is other people...in the elevator. 1.3646 0.04567 192 138 38 16
799 Karen's day became awkward when she unexpectedly found the straight to hell elevator she'd been joking about for years. 1.3646 0.04446 192 136 42 14
800 This hurts-on so many levels.... 1.3646 0.04685 192 140 34 18
801 The circle of Hell for Lawyers is two floors down. 1.3646 0.04507 192 137 40 15
802 If I'm going down, I'm taking everyone down with me." 1.3641 0.04457 195 139 41 15
803 didn't we match on tinder? 1.3641 0.03853 195 144 38 13
804 Sorry. This elevator is reserved for the human resources department. 1.3641 0.04516 195 140 39 16
805 You don't seem appreciative that we held the door for you. 1.3641 0.04086 195 133 53 9
806 It was at this moment that Sharon realized that her coworkers make her life a living hell. 1.3636 0.04463 187 132 42 13
807 Sorry, just for homeschooling parents 1.3636 0.04652 187 135 35 16
808 Huh! Is this the new sanitization process suggested by the president? 1.3636 0.04590 187 134 38 15
809 So you never thought to ask how our stock just keeps going up and up? 1.3636 0.03608 187 135 42 10
810 We were warned there would be hell to pay if we lost the Williams account! 1.3636 0.04332 187 130 46 11
811 vote !!!! 1.3636 0.04527 187 133 40 14
812 You want the up elevator. 1.3636 0.04332 187 130 46 11
813 I see you're deemed an essential worker now, welcome back." 1.3632 0.04413 190 134 43 13
814 Welcome back from furlough, hop in and we’ll get you caught up” 1.3632 0.04599 190 137 37 16
815 Turns out "Hellevator" wasn't a typo after all. 1.3632 0.04538 190 136 39 15
816 Hell or 2020?” 1.3632 0.04285 190 132 47 11
817 In hindsight, working from home wasn’t so bad.” 1.3632 0.04350 190 133 45 12
818 Hold the door! It's Esther from COMPLIANCE! 1.3632 0.04476 190 135 41 14
819 Ah, floor 2020, I see.” 1.3632 0.04599 190 137 37 16
820 I guess I just assumed it was a metaphor” 1.3632 0.04476 190 135 41 14
821 Remember your training Susan. It's never ok to refer to co-workers as 'hot' 1.3632 0.04659 190 138 35 17
822 On second thought maybe I’ll work from home” 1.3632 0.04476 190 135 41 14
823 “We are looking to add a woman scorned.” 1.3632 0.04659 190 138 35 17
824 Mondays...amirite?” 1.3632 0.04413 190 134 43 13
825 I'd love to talk to you about an opportunity to make some easy money. 1.3632 0.04220 190 133 46 11
826 The highway to hell was closed. 1.3632 0.04659 190 138 35 17
827 You work for Trump? And I thought we were in hell!" 1.3632 0.04659 190 138 35 17
828 Hmm... I always thought it would be in a hand basket. 1.3632 0.04476 190 135 41 14
829 This is the lawyer express elevator. Investment banking is the one to your immediate right. 1.3632 0.04476 190 135 41 14
830 Yeah, we're going down. 1.3632 0.04220 190 131 49 10
831 Well, Trump said it would work, so ... 1.3632 0.04413 190 133 43 13
832 It should be obvious where we’re going, 1.3632 0.04413 190 134 43 13
833 We got the shaft. 1.3632 0.04285 190 132 47 11
834 It turns out Hell ISN'T other people..." 1.3632 0.04285 190 132 47 11
835 It’s true what they say: you shouldn’t light a fart on fire in an elevator. 1.3632 0.04413 190 134 43 13
836 Welcome to 2020! 1.3627 0.04427 193 137 42 14
837 The stairs are usually paved with better intentions 1.3627 0.04606 193 140 36 17
838 Do you think you might have time to get us some bottled water? 1.3627 0.04303 193 135 46 12
839 Yes, Good Intentions are on this floor. 1.3627 0.04176 193 133 50 10
840 Weve just gone to hell and back. 1.3627 0.04176 193 133 50 10
841 Hellevator", not "elevator" 1.3627 0.04487 193 138 40 15
842 I hear the stairway really did lead to heaven. 1.3627 0.04303 193 135 46 12
843 At least I won't have to buy your daughter's Girl Scout cookies this year. 1.3627 0.04427 193 137 42 14
844 Are you people all naked?” 1.3617 0.04692 188 137 34 17
845 They were serious about not taking the office supplies home. 1.3613 0.04638 191 139 35 17
846 Lawyers - next elevator. It's an Express. 1.3613 0.04202 191 132 49 10
847 Can you call Dante and tell him we're stuck in Limbo again? 1.3608 0.04347 194 137 44 13
848 What floor is Fox News? 1.3608 0.04868 194 146 26 22
849 Skip the interview, trust us." 1.3602 0.04274 186 129 47 10
850 So that’s what they meant by ‘in case of fire, use stairs.’” 1.3602 0.04408 186 131 43 12
851 "Sorry, this elevator is only for MAGA supporters." 1.3602 0.04757 186 138 28 19
852 "Don't worry Covid-19 can't survive fire" 1.3602 0.04342 186 130 45 11
853 Hi Claire, I’m John from Recruitment. Got a few minutes?” 1.3602 0.04474 186 132 41 13
854 Well, where the hell do you think we’re going? 1.3602 0.04474 186 132 41 13
855 Yes, We are going down! What does it look like? 1.3602 0.04538 186 133 39 14
856 We Replied All. 1.3602 0.04538 186 133 39 14
857 I'm looking for a lawyer... 1.3602 0.04726 186 136 33 17
858 I pressed "13" by mistake. 1.3602 0.04664 186 135 35 16
859 Yeah, you'll be the best Press Secretary yet. See ya soon. 1.3602 0.04408 186 131 43 12
860 Hi, Kellyanne. I'm Bob and this is Carol & Ted & Alice. 1.3602 0.04664 186 135 35 16
861 PLEASE ! Press and hold the UP button. 1.3602 0.04602 186 134 37 15
862 Can’t be worse than my divorce. 1.3602 0.04474 186 132 41 13
863 The stairway to heaven is on your right. 1.3602 0.04474 186 132 41 13
864 Did you invest in 666 5th Avenue, too? Not at all what we bargained for. We're heading down to Mr. Kushner's office to raise our objections. Hop on! 1.3602 0.04664 186 135 35 16
865 Heaven? You have to take the stairway... 1.3602 0.04664 186 135 35 16
866 Hit the up button, PLEASE. 1.3602 0.04474 186 132 41 13
867 We never updated the firewall 1.3602 0.04474 186 132 41 13
868 Yes, down. What does it look like? 1.3602 0.04408 186 131 43 12
869 The next elevator should be non-smoking. 1.3602 0.04664 186 135 35 16
870 I would advise against pressing DOWN. 1.3602 0.04342 186 130 45 11
871 Naw - it’s only Heck. 1.3598 0.04424 189 134 42 13
872 I regret to inform you we’ve all been fired 1.3587 0.04371 184 129 44 11
873 Before I help you I need to make sure it won't hurt the stock market 1.3587 0.04884 184 137 28 19
874 Don’t worry; the flames are six feet apart.” 1.3587 0.04570 184 132 38 14
875 Oh so this is why you don’t take the elevator in case of fire 1.3587 0.04438 184 130 42 12
876 Do you still want that report on your desk by 9 AM? 1.3587 0.04438 184 130 42 12
877 Welcome to hell where everyday is work from home. 1.3587 0.04302 184 128 46 10
878 Get in! It’s fine! We are totally past the peak! 1.3587 0.04371 184 129 44 11
879 Don’t look so surprised. It was in the fine print.” 1.3587 0.04371 184 129 44 11
880 Sorry lady, the only room left is for President Trump 1.3587 0.04761 184 135 32 17
881 There’s been a hostile takeover at Otis. 1.3587 0.04505 184 131 40 13
882 Sure, it's small, but heat and hot water are included. 1.3587 0.04698 184 134 34 16
883 Hell? No, just climate change. 1.3587 0.04570 184 132 38 14
884 What in hell are you looking at? 1.3587 0.04268 184 135 35 14
885 Can you help? No one wants to touch the call button. 1.3587 0.04635 184 133 36 15
886 Didn't you get the memo? Work is Hell. 1.3587 0.04505 184 131 40 13
887 Cafeteria is on the 3rd floor, this is consultants.. 1.3587 0.03193 184 144 26 14
888 I would advise taking the stairs. 1.3587 0.04371 184 129 44 11
889 Your pitch, quickly!” 1.3583 0.04581 187 135 37 15
890 Yes, Ma'am, these days Hell is a lot closer than you think. 1.3583 0.04581 187 135 37 15
891 I know it's called the Administration from Hell, but this is ridiculous. 1.3571 0.04668 182 132 35 15
892 Sorry, looking for the one going up in flames. 1.3556 0.04636 180 130 36 14
893 I knew i should've worked from home today. 1.3556 0.04288 180 125 46 9
894 You know what? I'll wait for the next one." 1.3556 0.04768 180 132 32 16
895 This is nothing! The past two months were the actual torture. 1.3556 0.04288 180 125 46 9
896 Another team building exercise?” 1.3556 0.04768 180 132 32 16
897 Oh the stairway to heaven? Two doors down and on your right” 1.3556 0.04360 180 126 44 10
898 Do you guys promise not to “reply all” anymore? 1.3556 0.04636 180 130 36 14
899 If you could see fit to get us some marshmallows, that would be just great. 1.3556 0.04430 180 127 42 11
900 Are you burning up or burning down? 1.3556 0.04636 180 130 36 14
901 Hello, counselor. Next stop, the ninth circle. 1.3556 0.04636 180 130 36 14
902 Oh Hell, it's out of order again. 1.3556 0.04636 180 130 36 14
903 They really should disable that button. 1.3556 0.04215 180 124 48 8
904 Cooperate couldn’t find any disinfecting wipes or hand sanitizer but extreme heat works. 1.3552 0.04647 183 133 35 15
905 Up, actually. 1.3552 0.04381 183 128 41 10
906 Where is your HandBasket? 1.3552 0.04647 183 133 35 15
907 No one had a wipe. We couldn't touch the buttons. 1.3552 0.04516 183 131 39 13
908 A Democrat praised Trump, then all hell broke loose. 1.3552 0.04582 183 132 37 14
909 The signs clearly say, "In case of fire, use stairs". 1.3552 0.04516 183 131 39 13
910 This is exactly what it looks like. 1.3548 0.04399 186 132 42 12
911 “ after voting for Trump again, the elevator to hell had arrived at her floor.” 1.3539 0.04934 178 133 27 18
912 Nobody has been treated worse since Lincoln” 1.3539 0.04998 178 134 25 19
913 Looks like it’s going directly to the boss’s office 1.3539 0.04737 178 130 33 15
914 Yes, this is Floor 666. 1.3539 0.04601 178 128 37 13
915 People often make that mistake. This is the HELLAvator 1.3539 0.04804 178 131 31 16
916 Got room for one more lawyer? 1.3539 0.04804 178 131 31 16
917 The descent to Hell is only for senior management. 1.3539 0.04601 178 128 37 13
918 If I were you, I'd press the 'UP' button. 1.3539 0.04461 178 126 41 11
919 Join us We are Trump supporters 1.3539 0.04869 178 132 29 17
920 In that moment, Agnes realized that the road to hell isn't paved with good intentions but in fact is an elevator shaft. 1.3539 0.04869 178 132 29 17
921 For God's sake, don't hit the down button! 1.3539 0.04389 178 127 40 11
922 Going all the way down...I presume. 1.3539 0.04737 178 130 33 15
923 On the up side, if you join us, you get vision and dental, too. 1.3539 0.04242 178 123 47 8
924 Down please. I’m looking for the 6th Circle.” 1.3536 0.04410 181 128 42 11
925 It's a hellevator - our punishment for making horrible puns" 1.3536 0.04746 181 133 32 16
926 The whole office just got fired 1.3536 0.04547 181 130 38 13
927 It's not so bad here. Win us another election, Kellyanne! 1.3536 0.04547 181 130 38 13
928 Not surprisingly, the 10th circle of hell has Muzak. 1.3536 0.04547 181 130 38 13
929 Maintenance said they’d be right back 1.3536 0.04479 181 129 40 12
930 Do you really need to ask? Of course we're going down. 1.3536 0.04269 181 126 46 9
931 Are you a lawyer? 1.3536 0.04746 181 133 32 16
932 The President said fire would be an effective disinfectant so, you know, we thought we could give it a try 1.3523 0.04973 176 132 26 18
933 ‘I thought I fired you guys’ 1.3523 0.04564 176 126 38 12
934 Oh Hell, I’ll take the next one!” 1.3523 0.04635 176 127 36 13
935 Don’t you dare step in here without a mask on, Helen.” 1.3523 0.04773 176 129 32 15
936 Oh, I see. Donald’s inferno. I’ll, uh...wait for the next one.” 1.3523 0.04704 176 128 34 14
937 Still better than working in retail 1.3523 0.04420 176 124 42 10
938 Wait, if that's Hell, where am I? 1.3523 0.04420 176 124 42 10
939 This still beats working from home 1.3523 0.04154 176 128 37 11
940 We're lucky, we all got jobs in Hell's Kitchen. 1.3523 0.04635 176 127 36 13
941 The Hellevator. “Going down?” 1.3523 0.04773 176 129 32 15
942 All I can say is don't annoy the Super. 1.3523 0.04492 176 125 40 11
943 We were bad and we're goin' down 1.3523 0.04704 176 128 34 14
944 So, this is where the Republican souls are hiding! 1.3523 0.04773 176 129 32 15
945 There was no sign that says DO NOT USE ELEVATOR IN CASE OF FIRE 1.3523 0.04564 176 126 38 12
946 Well, previously you had to pass through an assortment of gates to enter here but for a limited time we're offering a fast track option.... 1.3523 0.04840 176 130 30 16
947 So, I assume this one is going down, then? 1.3520 0.04781 179 132 31 16
948 Don't worry, we're all in this together 1.3506 0.04597 174 125 37 12
949 Donna, I think hand sanitizer might be flammable.” 1.3506 0.04375 174 122 43 9
950 Wow, they were not kidding about the rigorous sanitation procedures. 1.3506 0.04739 174 127 33 14
951 No, we’re going up. OF COURSE WE’RE GOING DOWN! 1.3506 0.04809 174 128 31 15
952 Up is furloughed. Down is fired. 1.3506 0.04524 174 124 39 11
953 Call Dr. Fauci 1.3506 0.04739 174 127 33 14
954 So, when did you join the Trump organization? 1.3506 0.04878 174 129 29 16
955 It's actually no worse than your meetings." 1.3506 0.04809 174 128 31 15
956 It’s not too bad. It’s a dry heat. 1.3506 0.04450 174 123 41 10
957 This isn't what we expected when we pressed the Emergency Fire button. 1.3506 0.04878 174 129 29 16
958 You'll live longer if you take the stairs. 1.3506 0.04597 174 125 37 12
959 I said I wouldn’t even if you were are on fire, Steve, and I meant it! 1.3506 0.04298 174 120 45 8
960 You know, that I’ll-just-take-the-next-one trick won’t work forever. 1.3506 0.04597 174 125 37 12
961 You're taking the stairs? In those heels? 1.3506 0.04809 174 128 31 15
962 Volunteer more, that's all I can say for now... 1.3506 0.04298 174 121 45 8
963 I’ll stay on floor 2019.” 1.3503 0.04543 177 127 38 12
964 Glad to see everything is back to normal 1.3503 0.04399 177 125 42 10
965 Carol was familiar with the glass ceiling, but the flaming basement was a new low. 1.3503 0.04682 177 129 34 14
966 On the plus side, my covid symptoms seem to have disappeared now that it’s warmer. 1.3503 0.04682 177 129 34 14
967 Excuse me, is HR on this floor? 1.3503 0.04682 177 129 34 14
968 We got fired. 1.3503 0.04682 177 128 34 14
969 I never would have thought that this is what the fire service key does. 1.3503 0.04750 177 130 32 15
970 We didn't think we were going down either. 1.3503 0.04613 177 128 36 13
971 You trying to make a deal with him, too? 1.3503 0.05077 177 135 22 20
972 It's just a flu. 1.3503 0.04613 177 128 36 13
973 We're ALL going down. This is just faster. 1.3503 0.04399 177 125 42 10
974 This is what happens to Whistle Blowers in the trump administration. Beware! 1.3503 0.04613 177 128 36 13
975 When work is ACTUALLY Hell... 1.3503 0.05013 177 134 24 19
976 Watch those good intentions. 1.3503 0.04471 177 126 40 11
977 No, ma'am, it goes straight to hell. 1.3503 0.04399 177 125 42 10
978 And Beelzebub will harness your soul and fires will reign down... oh accounting? Level 2. 1.3503 0.04399 177 125 42 10
979 We heard the fires of hell destroyed the coronavirus" 1.3488 0.04481 172 122 40 10
980 Hey lady! So you voted for trump too? 1.3488 0.05052 172 130 24 18
981 I guess we’re all fired then”. 1.3488 0.04775 172 126 32 14
982 Fifth circle...I mean, floor.” 1.3488 0.04557 172 123 38 11
983 Honey? This is NOT what it looks like....!!” 1.3488 0.04846 172 127 30 15
984 The President said it was safe to ride again. 1.3488 0.04631 172 124 36 12
985 Sorry, didn’t realize this elevator was just for management.” 1.3488 0.04916 172 128 28 16
986 Sorry, we’re decontaminating.” 1.3488 0.04775 172 126 32 14
987 No, we’re going up. We forgot our hand-baskets. 1.3488 0.04984 172 129 26 17
988 This is Wrath; Greed is the next floor up. 1.3488 0.04846 172 127 30 15
989 The hell of it is there’s no WiFi reception. 1.3488 0.04631 172 124 36 12
990 Are you the politician we're here to pick up? 1.3488 0.04846 172 127 30 15
991 Do you mind pushing the up button? 1.3488 0.04443 172 124 37 11
992 Well, this must be the hellavator. 1.3488 0.04984 172 129 26 17
993 No, the stairway to heaven is the next door on the right. 1.3488 0.04775 172 126 32 14
994 And the muzak never stops... 1.3488 0.04557 172 123 38 11
995 Yes, of course they’re flames, Ivanka. Where did you think you’d be going? But there's no room for you in this car, it’s cabinet members only. Yours will stop for you here on January 21, 2021. 1.3488 0.04846 172 127 30 15
996 We are on our way to HR. 1.3488 0.04704 172 125 34 13
997 If you want to get to Heaven, you'll have to take the stairs 1.3488 0.04481 172 122 40 10
998 Hey, guys, look - I told you Laura Ingraham worked in our building! 1.3488 0.04704 172 125 34 13
999 Did you really think we'd be going in a handcart? 1.3488 0.04775 172 126 32 14
1000 So this is where all his former staff members ended up. 1.3486 0.04646 175 127 35 13
1001 Don't tell me: you had good intentions. 1.3486 0.04503 175 125 39 11
1002 Ninth circle, please 1.3473 0.04724 167 121 34 12
1003 Hedge fund managers? 1.3471 0.04739 170 124 33 13
1004 That’s okay, I think I’ll get the next one 1.3471 0.04590 170 122 37 11
1005 Going down, I assume?” 1.3471 0.04739 170 124 33 13
1006 You'll have to take the Stairway to Heaven." 1.3471 0.04739 170 124 33 13
1007 Did you call the hellevator? 1.3471 0.04812 170 125 31 14
1008 I thought they meant six feet apart and not six feet under" 1.3471 0.04665 170 123 35 12
1009 Awwww, to Hell with it. 1.3471 0.04739 170 124 33 13
1010 See you in hell Susan. 1.3471 0.04884 170 126 29 15
1011 They told me I could quit or be fired, and I wanted the severance package 1.3471 0.04436 170 125 33 12
1012 Wait, what if I promise not to ‘Reply All’ anymore?” 1.3471 0.04436 170 120 41 9
1013 Alice, what a nice surprise. Can you see your way to a glass of ice water?" 1.3471 0.04739 170 124 33 13
1014 Technology caught up. It’s no longer a hand basket.” 1.3471 0.04812 170 125 31 14
1015 No, it’s okay, I think I’ll take the next one.” 1.3471 0.04513 170 121 39 10
1016 Don’t worry, everyone shows up to the job interview overdressed.” 1.3471 0.04590 170 122 37 11
1017 Read your email. The crisis management meeting was canceled. 1.3471 0.04665 170 123 35 12
1018 « It’s Dr Trump new protocol. He said it would probably destroy the virus ». 1.3471 0.04954 170 127 27 16
1019 Is this for the people who use, “Per my last email”? 1.3471 0.04590 170 122 37 11
1020 You might want to change. It’s Casual Fry Day. 1.3471 0.04513 170 121 39 10
1021 Sorry ma'am, the maximum occupancy of this elevator cannot exceed 6 eternally damned souls. 1.3471 0.04665 170 123 35 12
1022 Didn't you get the memo about casual fry-day? 1.3471 0.04665 170 123 35 12
1023 You’re way overdressed. 1.3471 0.04513 170 120 39 10
1024 The sign clearly reads "In Case of Fire DO NOT Use Elevator" 1.3471 0.04665 170 123 35 12
1025 You might want to wait for the hand basket. We’re full. 1.3471 0.04812 170 125 31 14
1026 This is Circle 4, Lehman Brothers. Wells Fargo is 3 Circles down. 1.3471 0.05161 170 130 21 19
1027 Down, obviously. 1.3471 0.04513 170 121 39 10
1028 Trust me, take the next one. 1.3471 0.04665 170 123 35 12
1029 It’s a dry heat and better than yoga. 1.3471 0.04665 170 123 35 12
1030 I’m social distancing, so I’ll wait for the next one 1.3471 0.04436 170 119 41 9
1031 Are you going up? - Hell no! 1.3471 0.04739 170 124 33 13
1032 We're sorry, Hillary...you were right! Please help us! 1.3471 0.04812 170 125 31 14
1033 Yes,we're going down. How'd you guess? 1.3471 0.04590 170 122 37 11
1034 You might prefer the stairs.... 1.3471 0.04590 170 122 37 11
1035 Yes, this takes you to legal. 1.3471 0.04739 170 124 33 13
1036 I tried to tell you guys, the Devil is in the details. 1.3471 0.04356 170 119 43 8
1037 No masks, no social distancing, it's HELL down here. 1.3471 0.04194 170 117 47 6
1038 Yes, this is the floor of Good Intentions. 1.3471 0.04513 170 121 39 10
1039 This is purgatory - straight to Hell is the other elevator. 1.3471 0.04396 170 122 38 10
1040 We thought it would be better than going in a handbasket. 1.3471 0.04665 170 123 35 12
1041 Worse. It's the condo board meeting. 1.3471 0.04665 170 123 35 12
1042 This is what happens when you have a 13th floor. 1.3471 0.04812 170 125 31 14
1043 Can you hit purgatory please? 1.3471 0.04276 170 118 45 7
1044 Actually we did start the fire" 1.3468 0.04608 173 125 36 12
1045 Stephanie decided today would not be the day to showcase her leadership skills in a crisis 1.3452 0.04624 168 121 36 11
1046 Thanks, I’ll wait for the next pandemic! 1.3452 0.04546 168 120 38 10
1047 It was either this or the murder hornets” 1.3452 0.04700 168 121 34 12
1048 Oh, we've got room!" 1.3452 0.05065 168 127 24 17
1049 When I said fire them in the elevator I meant.... oh never mind 1.3452 0.05065 168 127 24 17
1050 I think I’ll wait.” 1.3452 0.04467 168 119 40 9
1051 Guess I'll take the fire escape 1.3452 0.04546 168 120 38 10
1052 Is it too late to thank God it’s Friday?” 1.3452 0.04467 168 119 40 9
1053 You're his fourth Press Secretary. You seriously don't know if this is going up or down?! 1.3452 0.04775 168 123 32 13
1054 The next one goes up to the Oval Office. 1.3452 0.04849 168 124 30 14
1055 This doesn’t feel like a lay-off, Sharon. 1.3452 0.04994 168 125 26 16
1056 ‘Some like it hot’ 1.3452 0.04546 168 120 38 10
1057 And cancel my appointments through all eternity. 1.3452 0.04386 168 118 42 8
1058 We're exerting our Constitutional right to free assembly! 1.3452 0.04775 168 123 32 13
1059 Turns on the H button doesn't take you to a helipad. 1.3452 0.04467 168 119 40 9
1060 If it's Heaven you want, take the stairway. 1.3452 0.04467 168 124 32 12
1061 Is this the 'good intentions' floor? 1.3452 0.04467 168 119 40 9
1062 Must be the East Wing! 1.3452 0.04546 168 120 38 10
1063 Yes, we are most assuredly going down. 1.3452 0.04624 168 121 36 11
1064 Be wary of their Retirement Package 1.3452 0.04775 168 123 32 13
1065 We're being groomed for senior leadership. 1.3452 0.04624 168 121 36 11
1066 Don’t worry! The heat will kill the virus. 1.3450 0.04255 171 126 35 10
1067 We’re actually here for making that exact pun. 1.3450 0.04930 171 128 27 16
1068 I can't believe it. It was just one little covet. 1.3450 0.04567 171 123 37 11
1069 Did the client tell you to go to hell? 1.3450 0.04859 171 127 29 15
1070 there is simply no way in Hell to find 6' for distancing these days... 1.3450 0.04716 171 125 33 13
1071 Next level... employee burnout. 1.3450 0.04567 171 123 37 11
1072 I think I’ll wait for the elevator to 2021.” 1.3434 0.05107 166 126 23 17
1073 No ma’am this is the HELLevator” 1.3434 0.04887 166 123 29 14
1074 Anything to get me out of the apartment 1.3434 0.04658 166 120 35 11
1075 Do you mind, you're letting the cold air in 1.3434 0.04498 166 118 39 9
1076 The President just announced that the virus can be killed by fire, so we decided to try it out!” 1.3434 0.04658 166 120 35 11
1077 May 25, 2022: Wow, I guess you guys didn’t follow the stay-at-home orders, huh?” 1.3434 0.04812 166 122 31 13
1078 We need you to be a team player, Linda.” 1.3434 0.04812 166 122 31 13
1079 Despite the horror, her desire for social connection was overwhelming 1.3434 0.04658 166 120 35 11
1080 Well, it’s still better than doing another Zoom Meeting 1.3434 0.04736 166 121 33 12
1081 Why do you THINK they named the hotel bar Dante's?!! 1.3434 0.04498 166 120 36 10
1082 For one thing, we all want ice water. 1.3434 0.05035 166 125 25 16
1083 And you think YOU went through Hell today! 1.3434 0.04736 166 121 33 12
1084 This is statistically safer than the highway to the same destination 1.3434 0.04658 166 120 35 11
1085 Sorry, all the handbaskets are already taken. 1.3434 0.04498 166 118 39 9
1086 Yes, Janet, going all the way down 1.3434 0.04579 166 119 37 10
1087 This is Legal. Accounting is the next floor up. 1.3434 0.04579 166 119 37 10
1088 Be a doll and fetch me a coffee? 1.3432 0.04601 169 122 36 11
1089 Do you have an iPhone charger? 1.3432 0.04365 169 119 42 8
1090 Someone coughed" 1.3415 0.04613 164 118 36 10
1091 Could you shut the door, you’re letting the heat out” 1.3415 0.04531 164 117 38 9
1092 . “Well, we all THOUGHT we were going up...” 1.3415 0.04693 164 119 34 11
1093 Hoax" 1.3415 0.04850 164 121 30 13
1094 It's hot but virus-free. 1.3415 0.04531 164 117 38 9
1095 We're going down, in a blaze of glory. 1.3415 0.04926 164 122 28 14
1096 This is going to the 7th Circle. 1.3415 0.04531 164 117 38 9
1097 The heat kills the virus. 1.3415 0.04613 164 118 36 10
1098 Going down. Wa-a-ay down! 1.3415 0.04531 164 117 38 9
1099 Mary gets the warning and decides to take the stairs down instead. 1.3415 0.04531 164 117 38 9
1100 Give it a second. Heat rises. 1.3415 0.04363 164 119 36 9
1101 When she said “I hope you all go down in flames” and walked out of the meeting, she didn’t realize they’d catch the elevator first. 1.3415 0.04772 164 120 31 12
1102 You should probably catch the next one. 1.3413 0.04712 167 122 33 12
1103 Did you reply all on an email too?” 1.3395 0.04888 162 120 29 13
1104 These zoom backgrounds are seriously getting out of hand!” 1.3395 0.04966 162 121 27 14
1105 I’ll catch the next one. I’m going up. 1.3395 0.04479 162 115 39 8
1106 I think I’ll wait for floor 2021. 1.3395 0.04564 162 116 37 9
1107 Get in. The murder hornets can’t survive heat. 1.3395 0.04479 162 115 39 8
1108 To be honest I’ve been feeling burnt out myself 1.3395 0.04809 162 119 31 12
1109 Mondays, am I right?” 1.3395 0.04305 162 113 43 6
1110 This is just like my last day at Lehman Brothers 1.3395 0.04479 162 115 39 8
1111 Welcome to your zoom meeting number 666” 1.3395 0.04647 162 117 35 10
1112 Handbasket, going down. 1.3395 0.04647 162 117 35 10
1113 Please say 'going up'' 1.3395 0.04647 162 117 35 10
1114 I knew I should have taken the stairs 1.3395 0.04479 162 115 39 8
1115 The basement button turns out to be actually for debasement. 1.3395 0.04479 162 115 39 8
1116 Going down? It's a hell of a ride. 1.3395 0.04966 162 121 27 14
1117 « When I said Go To Hell, it was a figure of speech » 1.3395 0.04729 162 118 33 11
1118 If I wanted to feel the burn, I’d take the stairs. 1.3395 0.04888 162 120 29 13
1119 Yes, this is the express for corporate lawyers. 1.3395 0.04647 162 117 35 10
1120 WH Administration Express Only 1.3395 0.04888 162 120 29 13
1121 Leave the briefcase. Bring a handbasket. 1.3395 0.04966 162 121 27 14
1122 Um...I just remembered that I haven't gotten my steps in today, so I think I'll take the stairs. 1.3395 0.04729 162 118 33 11
1123 Laying us off is one thing, Phyllis, but is all this drama necessary? 1.3395 0.04729 162 118 33 11
1124 First day? Virgil will show you around soon. 1.3395 0.04809 162 119 31 12
1125 Is that Prada? 1.3395 0.04888 162 120 29 13
1126 I told you it was Hell working here. 1.3395 0.04349 162 116 38 8
1127 I saw you all pressing the close door button. You can all go to hell! 1.3395 0.04809 162 119 31 12
1128 We were let go AND fired 1.3395 0.04888 162 120 29 13
1129 Please, would you ask my wife to check on my sourdough?” 1.3394 0.04669 165 120 34 11
1130 The whole thing's going to hell, literally 1.3375 0.03304 160 122 30 8
1131 On second thought, I’ll take the stairs.” 1.3375 0.04598 160 115 36 9
1132 It was then, that Mary knew, normal wasn’t working for her anymore.” 1.3375 0.04682 160 116 34 10
1133 You should’ve worked from home.” 1.3375 0.04766 160 117 32 11
1134 We were being honest when we said the Sales Department sold their soul to the Devil, Karen. 1.3375 0.04598 160 115 36 9
1135 : “Common mistake. This is the Hellevator.” 1.3375 0.04847 160 118 30 12
1136 This one's full, but I heard something about a stairway to heaven 1.3375 0.04847 160 118 30 12
1137 Go ahead, lean in." 1.3375 0.04847 160 118 30 12
1138 Third time this week it’s been stuck in existential purgatory. It may be a minute. 1.3375 0.04928 160 119 28 13
1139 You’re sure it’s safe to go back to work, right? 1.3375 0.04682 160 116 34 10
1140 Still better than another Zoom meeting." 1.3375 0.04766 160 117 32 11
1141 Don’t worry, Barb, the flames have been proven to kill Covid-19. 1.3375 0.04682 160 116 34 10
1142 Welcome to work. 1.3375 0.04682 160 116 34 10
1143 I’m trying to practice social distancing. I’ll catch the next one 1.3375 0.04598 160 115 36 9
1144 Sorry this is Heresy, you’re looking for the eighth floor.” 1.3375 0.04598 160 115 36 9
1145 Just what we need; another attorney. 1.3375 0.04928 160 119 28 13
1146 Straight to hell. He said you’d know why. 1.3375 0.04682 160 116 34 10
1147 Hell-evator going down! 1.3375 0.04928 160 119 28 13
1148 Lose the jacket. 1.3375 0.04766 160 117 32 11
1149 Is there an up button? 1.3375 0.04511 160 114 38 8
1150 No, you're thinking of the road. The elevator to hell doesn't give a damn about your intentions. 1.3375 0.04928 160 119 28 13
1151 Are you here for the job interview? 1.3375 0.04766 160 117 32 11
1152 The road to hell is an elevator full of good intentions. 1.3375 0.04766 160 117 32 11
1153 We're coming up from Human Resources 1.3375 0.04766 160 117 32 11
1154 Um, could you press the UP button? 1.3375 0.04682 160 115 34 10
1155 Turns out, stairs are still the best way to burn fat. 1.3375 0.04598 160 115 36 9
1156 What the hell you lookin' at? 1.3375 0.04766 160 117 32 11
1157 That’s right... We’re raising hell. 1.3375 0.04766 160 117 32 11
1158 It turns out that “P” stands for purgatory. 1.3375 0.04682 160 116 34 10
1159 On the flip-side, we do offer flexible work hours. 1.3375 0.04766 160 117 32 11
1160 Guess there’s no chance you have some marshmallows? 1.3375 0.04766 160 117 32 11
1161 Yeah, we pushed the button for "good intentions." 1.3375 0.04847 160 118 30 12
1162 Going down? I think we can squeeze one more in. 1.3375 0.04682 160 116 34 10
1163 No, I’m not surprised, it always operates like hell on Mondays. 1.3375 0.04928 160 119 28 13
1164 You'll be fine. We are lawyers too. 1.3355 0.04781 155 113 32 10
1165 Things can only go up from here. 1.3354 0.04718 158 115 33 10
1166 Could you close the doors? You're letting the heat out. 1.3354 0.04718 158 115 33 10
1167 it’s going down.” 1.3354 0.04803 158 116 31 11
1168 We didn't hit mute in those zoom meetings" 1.3354 0.04632 158 114 35 9
1169 Jim? Why aren’t you wearing your mask? 1.3354 0.04803 158 116 31 11
1170 Oh Bob, you said you’d raise hell if they furloughed you, but I didn’t expect this!” 1.3354 0.04718 158 115 33 10
1171 That's alright. I think I'll take the stairs. 1.3354 0.04803 158 116 31 11
1172 Room for one more, Ms. McEnany. 1.3354 0.04886 158 117 29 12
1173 Going up in flames, actually. 1.3354 0.04886 158 117 29 12
1174 The only thing we did wrong was pressing the big red button you are not supposed to" 1.3354 0.04632 158 119 27 12
1175 Sorry, are you going up? 1.3354 0.02030 158 125 26 7
1176 Take the stairs, thank me later.” 1.3354 0.04968 158 118 27 13
1177 When I took over as Education Secretary, I came with a simple mission: to shut down all of the nation’s schools. It turns out that I was just ahead of my time. ” - Betsy DeVos “Educators going down” 1.3354 0.05048 158 119 25 14
1178 And I thought we’d go ‘up’ in flames... 1.3354 0.04886 158 117 29 12
1179 The only scene Jeannie remembers from her dream. George looking up at her and saying sarcastically, "And they thought it was a good idea to open things up again. Really?" 1.3354 0.04632 158 114 35 9
1180 I swear I only played a lawyer on TV. 1.3354 0.04886 158 117 29 12
1181 We wouldn’t prescribe hydroxychloroquine and disinfectant either!" 1.3354 0.04803 158 116 31 11
1182 Margaret, we've been fired. 1.3354 0.04718 158 115 33 10
1183 We thought 'not wearing a mask' just carried a fine. 1.3354 0.04886 158 117 29 12
1184 Hey -- you're not wearing a mask! 1.3354 0.04886 158 117 29 12
1185 I'm here for always burning popcorn in the office microwave. Deb over there? She was a chronic 'reply-all' type person." 1.3354 0.05048 158 119 25 14
1186 Seventh circle? 1.3354 0.04363 158 116 33 9
1187 Hell bought our stock. 1.3354 0.04718 158 115 33 10
1188 Your choice. The other one is playing “lite oldies”. 1.3354 0.04803 158 116 31 11
1189 If I were you, I’d wait for the going up. 1.3354 0.04886 158 117 29 12
1190 I should probably tell someone that the doors won’t close 1.3354 0.04803 158 116 31 11
1191 Wow, they really want us to work from home. 1.3354 0.04632 158 114 35 9
1192 It's the express for people who didn't follow CDC guidelines 1.3354 0.04886 158 117 29 12
1193 It's a bit crowded in here, might I suggest the stairway to heaven? 1.3354 0.04803 158 116 31 11
1194 Some wise-ass hit every damned button. 1.3354 0.04718 158 115 33 10
1195 Obviously, this elevator is for board members only. 1.3354 0.05048 158 119 25 14
1196 Express - all the way down! 1.3354 0.04886 158 117 29 12
1197 You're awfully lucky the devil lets you work from home. 1.3354 0.04718 158 115 33 10
1198 Betty suddenly remembered she left the oven on. 1.3354 0.04718 158 115 33 10
1199 Yes, in life we never held the door for anyone. Are you happy now? 1.3354 0.04803 158 116 31 11
1200 Come on down. The boss is expecting you. 1.3354 0.04968 158 118 27 12
1201 We didn’t wear masks either. 1.3354 0.04718 158 115 33 10
1202 Excuse me - which circle are we on? 1.3354 0.04718 158 115 33 10
1203 We're sheltering in place. 1.3354 0.03874 158 116 35 7
1204 Sixth floor. Ad execs and lawyers. 1.3354 0.05048 158 119 25 14
1205 If you're trying to get to Heaven, take the stairway. 1.3354 0.04803 158 116 31 11
1206 No, I think you're looking for the stairway to heaven. 1.3354 0.04718 158 115 33 10
1207 Congratulations on passing the bar! 1.3354 0.04968 158 118 27 13
1208 Sorry, this elevator is only for lawyers and politicians. 1.3354 0.04886 158 117 29 12
1209 You should take the stairs...trust me. 1.3354 0.04968 158 118 27 13
1210 Sorry. This is the lawyers' only express elevator. 1.3354 0.04718 158 115 33 10
1211 Thank God! It feels like we've been stuck between floors for an eternity. 1.3354 0.04455 158 112 38 7
1212 The stairway to heaven is down the hall to your right. 1.3354 0.04718 158 115 33 10
1213 Working from home is suddenly looking very appealing right now." 1.3354 0.04740 161 118 32 11
1214 Whose got a hot ass now!? 1.3354 0.05064 164 125 23 16
1215 I’m new here at Amazon, what floor is HR?” 1.3333 0.04926 156 116 28 12
1216 A special place for those who ride the elevator up one floor 1.3333 0.04926 156 116 28 12
1217 Does this go down all the way to the ninth? 1.3333 0.04777 159 117 31 11
1218 It was this or keep teaching our kids at home 1.3333 0.04926 156 116 28 12
1219 Not without your mask, Karen” 1.3333 0.04578 156 112 36 8
1220 Just got back from 2020?” 1.3333 0.04926 156 116 28 12
1221 I thought waiting for it felt eternal. 1.3333 0.05009 156 117 26 13
1222 Get in, Lucifer just called an all-hands meeting. 1.3333 0.04298 156 109 42 5
1223 We suggest you take one that goes up only. 1.3333 0.04755 156 114 32 10
1224 The constant screaming saves us from those awkward silences. 1.3333 0.04926 156 116 28 12
1225 Oh, you're a banker. Take the elevator behind you, this one only goes to the 6th level. 1.3333 0.04926 156 116 28 12
1226 There must be some misunderstanding, I told the temp agency that that I would work LIKE hell not IN it! 1.3333 0.04755 156 114 32 10
1227 The flames become tolerable, but the MUSIC! 1.3333 0.04841 156 115 30 11
1228 All I can say is that it’s been a hell of a day. 1.3333 0.04298 156 109 42 5
1229 I know this looks bad, but you have to admit, it’s nice to be out of the house for a change! 1.3312 0.04815 157 116 30 11
1230 Hard to believe, but this one's going up 1.3312 0.03692 154 117 29 8
1231 They started coming up with new ways to sanitize the elevators 1.3312 0.04880 154 114 29 11
1232 We’re going down... apparently in flames.” 1.3312 0.04074 154 113 34 7
1233 I'm sure this will burn more calories than taking the stairs. 1.3312 0.04792 154 113 31 10
1234 Welcome back to Corporate America” 1.3312 0.04792 154 113 31 10
1235 “This is what happens when you push all the buttons” 1.3312 0.05051 154 116 25 13
1236 It’s meringue, actually” 1.3312 0.04880 154 114 29 11
1237 For the economy! 1.3312 0.04792 154 113 31 10
1238 We’ve been fired! 1.3312 0.05216 154 118 21 15
1239 Will you please step back six feet? 1.3312 0.04519 154 110 37 7
1240 Would you mind pressing the ‘UP’ button? 1.3312 0.05051 154 116 25 13
1241 I strongly suggest you hit the "UP" button. 1.3312 0.04519 154 110 37 7
1242 Just how far down does this elevator go ? 1.3312 0.05216 154 118 21 15
1243 We too thought we were doing the Prsident's bidding 1.3312 0.05051 154 115 25 13
1244 No, its purgatory. We're only halfway there. Hell is the next stop below 1.3312 0.04424 154 109 39 6
1245 I'll tell you what's hell ... combustible hand sanitizer. 1.3312 0.04612 154 111 35 8
1246 Up or down in flames? 1.3312 0.04228 154 107 43 4
1247 Sometime late in January 2021.... Students: “Remember how you told us all to go to hell? Well, we’ve saved a special place for you there, Mrs. DeVos.” 1.3312 0.05134 154 117 23 14
1248 We can understand layoffs, but this seems excessive. 1.3312 0.04880 154 114 29 11
1249 It’s not the heat, it’s the humanity! 1.3312 0.04880 154 114 29 11
1250 The "down" button has a problem. 1.3312 0.04126 154 116 29 9
1251 Still better than a Zoom meeting! 1.3312 0.05051 154 116 25 13
1252 It goes down, down, down and the flames get higher. 1.3312 0.04880 154 114 29 11
1253 We’re all going down, they just fired the whole team! 1.3291 0.04439 158 113 38 7
1254 Excuse me? Why aren’t you 6 feet apart?? 1.3290 0.04766 155 114 31 10
1255 Going up or down?!?! Take a wild guess, lady. 1.3290 0.02982 155 120 28 7
1256 So then genius here was like, “What if we put Mentos in ALL the sodas?!” 1.3290 0.04853 155 115 29 11
1257 The governor forgot to include elevator maintenance as “essential workers.” 1.3289 0.04552 152 109 36 7
1258 Karen, can you grab my "World's Greatest Boss" coffee mug? 1.3289 0.05008 152 114 26 12
1259 Well that’s an interesting interpretation of no exit 1.3289 0.05094 152 115 24 13
1260 We’ll be a a little late for that safety meeting” 1.3289 0.04552 152 109 36 7
1261 Their eyes locked for what seemed like years. Slowly Judy realized that all those flirtatious chats at the water-cooler were one sided. Mark never loved her. He was using her to get to Jill. Jill her best friend. Jill from accounting. But most importantly; Jill the leader of the Top Secret Annual Whipped Cream Elevator Extravaganza. 1.3289 0.04920 152 113 28 11
1262 this is the elevator to the oval office." 1.3289 0.05094 152 115 24 13
1263 We’re all going down. 1.3289 0.04920 152 113 28 11
1264 It’s the elevator’s fault. 1.3289 0.04830 152 112 30 10
1265 I think it's pretty obvious: down. 1.3289 0.04830 152 112 30 10
1266 Maybe I should take the stairway to heaven. 1.3289 0.04830 152 112 30 10
1267 It's non-stop, down to the 9th circle. 1.3289 0.04830 152 112 30 10
1268 Help! We've been shafted! 1.3289 0.04552 152 109 36 7
1269 Sorry fellas - I know it's awful in there but as Secretary of Education I made the decision to close down all the schools so we won't need teachers any more. The burning part will be over soon. 1.3289 0.04552 152 109 36 7
1270 As hellscapes go, it's pretty convivial. 1.3289 0.04920 152 113 28 11
1271 Dante just said it always gets stuck between 6 and 7. 1.3289 0.04552 152 109 36 7
1272 You with Corporate Legal? Hop in. 1.3289 0.05094 152 115 24 13
1273 You shouldn’t have pushed the down button so many times. 1.3289 0.05008 152 114 26 12
1274 PLEASE hit the UP button! 1.3289 0.04830 152 112 30 10
1275 How the hell are you? 1.3289 0.04646 152 110 34 8
1276 Sell me your soul and the promotion is yours. 1.3289 0.04739 152 111 32 9
1277 Hi Shiela. We’re the ghosts of ‘re-opening the states during a pandemic’ future. 1.3288 0.05153 146 110 24 12
1278 You want "Execs Who Slept With or Harassed Their Staff" down the hall on your left. We're "Those Who Thought Wearing Masks and Social-Distancing Was Only for Boomers." 1.3268 0.04713 153 112 32 9
1279 I guess this will kill all viruses” 1.3267 0.04682 150 109 33 8
1280 This is going to wrong on so many levels. 1.3267 0.04960 150 112 27 11
1281 Hell has reached max capacity. You’ll have to survive up there a bit longer. 1.3267 0.04869 150 111 29 10
1282 Really? You had two choices." 1.3267 0.04682 150 109 33 8
1283 We just got fired.” 1.3267 0.04585 150 108 35 7
1284 Working from home has never looked so appealing 1.3267 0.04777 150 110 31 9
1285 No, sorry. This is the advanced Hot Yoga class" 1.3267 0.04777 150 110 31 9
1286 We're raising hell, lady, what's it look like?!? 1.3267 0.04777 150 110 31 9
1287 It’s the President’s latest Covid Cure: Go to Work or Go to Hell! 1.3267 0.05050 150 113 25 12
1288 I think we're going down. 1.3267 0.04960 150 112 27 11
1289 Hop in. The whole world is going to hell. 1.3267 0.04682 150 109 33 8
1290 I'm sorry. This elevator is for Senators only. 1.3267 0.04682 150 109 33 8
1291 Hey, hey, six feet away please!!! 1.3267 0.04283 150 105 41 4
1292 When you volunteered to take the heat on that proposal did they mention you get the shaft too. 1.3267 0.05475 150 118 15 17
1293 Apparently, Hell is stopping at every floor for an eternity 1.3267 0.04777 150 110 31 9
1294 You're supposed to be going UP in flames. 1.3267 0.04682 150 109 33 8
1295 Look at the bright side, at least you won’t ever have to worry about social distancing again. 1.3267 0.04585 150 108 35 7
1296 Beware! It's the portal to HR. 1.3267 0.04869 150 111 29 10
1297 Hell. Accounting. Same thing. 1.3267 0.04585 150 108 35 7
1298 Jump in. You’ll burn more calories than taking the stairs. 1.3267 0.04585 150 108 35 7
1299 Sorry, this is the executive elevator. 1.3265 0.05031 147 110 26 11
1300 Don't just stand there, hit the up button! 1.3245 0.04560 151 109 35 7
1301 Would 1200 dollars help? 1.3245 0.04932 151 113 27 11
1302 Did you get fired too? 1.3245 0.04462 151 108 37 6
1303 They never talk about this in law school 1.3245 0.04842 151 112 29 10
1304 It's either this or reading more Andy Borowitz columns... 1.3245 0.04842 151 112 29 10
1305 I’ll catch the next one” 1.3243 0.04815 148 109 29 9
1306 Alison finally realized her complaints about the office always being cold had reached the wrong ears 1.3243 0.04311 148 104 40 4
1307 Carol realized that she was not the only one who had finally decided the “Direct to Hell” elevator was her best option 1.3243 0.05002 148 111 26 11
1308 Which floor? We’re going down” 1.3243 0.04620 148 107 34 7
1309 You get used to the heat, and OUR eternal torment doesn’t make you wear heels.” 1.3243 0.05002 148 111 26 11
1310 Oh, did I miss the liar, liar pants on fire meeting? 1.3243 0.04815 148 109 30 9
1311 Oh, that’s alright. I’ll wait for the next one. 1.3243 0.04815 148 109 30 9
1312 Sorry, essential workers only.” 1.3243 0.04519 148 106 36 6
1313 We’re going down in flames but the economy is going back up right?” 1.3243 0.05182 148 113 22 13
1314 Kathy, hop in, you’re about to get fired too!” 1.3243 0.04620 148 112 26 10
1315 Oh, hey Linda, you’ll have that report first thing tomorrow 1.3243 0.04909 148 110 28 10
1316 Clearly you did not feel the door with the back of your hand...” 1.3243 0.04620 148 107 34 7
1317 Mmm... so it's elevator to hell, and stairway to heaven 1.3243 0.04909 148 110 28 10
1318 Not cool” 1.3243 0.04815 148 109 30 9
1319 Oh, Hey Karen...” 1.3243 0.05002 148 111 26 11
1320 Working from the office is worse than I remembered.” 1.3243 0.05002 148 111 26 11
1321 We're the folks who invented Muzak. 1.3243 0.04519 148 106 36 6
1322 sorry; this only goes to Good Intentions. A Woman Scorned is three elevators over. 1.3243 0.05002 148 111 26 11
1323 Come on in, it's good for the economy! 1.3243 0.05093 148 112 24 12
1324 Oh Hell! I'll just take the stairs. 1.3243 0.04519 148 111 28 9
1325 I hate this damned elevator. 1.3243 0.04620 148 107 34 7
1326 Well . . . at least we don't have to wear masks. 1.3243 0.04718 148 108 32 8
1327 May I suggest taking the Stairway to Heaven. Less crowded. 1.3243 0.04519 148 106 36 6
1328 Don't push the "H" button. 1.3243 0.04718 148 108 32 8
1329 For God’s sake turn down your job offer! 1.3243 0.05182 148 113 22 13
1330 I been holding that special place in Hell I promised you. 1.3243 0.04909 148 110 28 10
1331 Strangely, it's not that different. 1.3243 0.04620 148 107 34 7
1332 Going down, in more ways than one. 1.3243 0.04620 148 107 34 7
1333 We're going down but the flames are going up if you want to wait. 1.3243 0.04718 148 108 32 8
1334 Seriously, you don't want to know what's in the "next one". 1.3243 0.04718 148 108 32 8
1335 We've all been baptised. Welcome to the Republican Senate. 1.3243 0.05182 148 113 22 13
1336 They say it kills the virus - what have you got to lose? 1.3243 0.05182 148 113 22 13
1337 China did it! 1.3243 0.04909 148 110 28 10
1338 Anyway, guess what the emergency button actually does? 1.3243 0.04909 148 110 28 10
1339 This is OUR own little hell... You can wait for the next car. 1.3243 0.04519 148 106 36 6
1340 Tell H.R. the purgatory button jammed again. 1.3243 0.04718 148 108 32 8
1341 No.... you go to hell🤬 1.3221 0.04494 149 107 36 6
1342 Hell? No! Oval Office, no stops! 1.3221 0.05325 149 116 18 15
1343 Did you guys wash your hands?" 1.3219 0.04655 146 106 33 7
1344 Well regardless I think we can all agree the button to close the doors doesn’t actually do anything” 1.3219 0.05137 146 111 23 12
1345 Not sure about the others but I’m here cause I took the last donut at the morning meeting. 1.3219 0.05044 146 110 25 11
1346 Good news everyone, HR is here. 1.3219 0.05044 146 110 25 11
1347 We are protesting to LIBERATE HELL” 1.3219 0.05044 146 110 25 11
1348 At that point Cindy acknowledged her luck, as she was only furloughed. 1.3219 0.04854 146 108 29 9
1349 Dang Karen, can’t you see we’re making a TikTok!” 1.3219 0.04854 146 108 29 9
1350 But your emails...” 1.3219 0.04854 146 108 29 9
1351 profit over people, cost over care. 1.3219 0.05044 146 110 25 11
1352 Getting to hell just got a whole lot easier 1.3219 0.05318 146 113 19 14
1353 “I guess you were right to not join this administration” 1.3219 0.05228 146 112 21 13
1354 Is that my assistant Nina down there? She's supposed to be getting me Starbucks 1.3219 0.04854 146 108 29 9
1355 And finally our wish was granted... all the talking heads went down in flames.” 1.3219 0.04755 146 107 31 8
1356 I think it is time to start believing that stairs could earn you some additional life years." 1.3219 0.05044 146 110 25 11
1357 Sorry I’m late, traffic was hell” 1.3219 0.04950 146 109 27 10
1358 Oh, this must be a trump owned building. 1.3219 0.05044 146 110 25 11
1359 Have you seen Dante? He forgot his briefcase 1.3219 0.05044 146 110 25 11
1360 Any chance that briefcase is full of toilet paper? 1.3219 0.05228 146 112 21 13
1361 Going way down. 1.3219 0.04755 146 107 31 8
1362 Oh hey Tracy - do you mind rescheduling my 10am? 1.3219 0.04447 146 104 37 5
1363 Wouldn't you know we're over the weight limit AND against fire code? 1.3219 0.04552 146 107 32 7
1364 What's in the briefcase? 1.3219 0.04854 146 108 29 9
1365 Going down, all the way down. 1.3219 0.05044 146 110 25 11
1366 I must've pushed "hell" by mistake - sorry. 1.3219 0.04854 146 108 29 9
1367 It’s hell week at work. 1.3219 0.04552 146 105 35 6
1368 When the boss says that he welcomes comments, just zip it. 1.3219 0.04854 146 108 29 9
1369 Oh, hell. Wrong elevator. 1.3219 0.04950 146 109 27 10
1370 Whatever happened to pink slips? 1.3219 0.04229 146 105 35 5
1371 I'll take the next one; I AM going down, just not that far. 1.3219 0.04950 146 109 27 10
1372 Sell everything ! 1.3219 0.04854 146 108 29 9
1373 No thanks. I'll take the stairs. 1.3219 0.04755 146 107 31 8
1374 COVID'S INFERNO 1.3219 0.04755 146 107 31 8
1375 It’s not so bad once you get used to the music. 1.3219 0.04655 146 106 33 7
1376 If you'd prefer to be carbon-neutral, stairs are to the left. 1.3219 0.04950 146 109 27 10
1377 Sorry, the hellivator only goes down 1.3219 0.04655 146 106 33 7
1378 You know damn well that we're going down. 1.3219 0.04950 146 109 27 10
1379 There is a 13th floor. 1.3219 0.05228 146 112 21 13
1380 “Looking for an exit strategy? You're getting warmer...” 1.3219 0.04755 146 107 31 8
1381 We're in overflow. Hell is full. 1.3219 0.04755 146 107 31 8
1382 Barbara couldn't shake the feeling she was about to be fired. 1.3219 0.05044 146 110 25 11
1383 That Do-Not-Use-Elevators-During-a-Fire thing, I guess I shouldn't have ignored it. 1.3219 0.04854 146 108 29 9
1384 Got any toilet paper? 1.3219 0.04854 146 108 29 9
1385 We found the elusive 13th floor! 1.3219 0.04447 146 104 37 5
1386 Just be happy there isn't enough room. 1.3219 0.04755 146 107 31 8
1387 The Hellevator is at capacity, Ma'am. 1.3219 0.04552 146 105 35 6
1388 What did you think a bargain basement fire sale would look like? 1.3219 0.04854 146 108 29 9
1389 There’s a special place on this elevator for women who don’t support other women” 1.3217 0.04922 143 106 28 9
1390 At first I also hesitated, but it *is* much better without the music." 1.3217 0.04821 143 105 30 8
1391 No, we aren’t just a metaphor!” 1.3217 0.04821 143 105 30 8
1392 Monday 1.3217 0.04821 143 105 30 8
1393 Save yourself, Betty!! The company is going down in flames! 1.3217 0.04821 143 105 30 8
1394 I beat the rap on greed, but they got me on sloth. 1.3217 0.04821 143 105 30 8
1395 We're going down. In flames. 1.3217 0.04821 143 105 30 8
1396 It was an unfortunate typo on the original building plans, but what can we do? The Hellevators are installed now. 1.3217 0.05214 143 109 22 12
1397 Can you help us? We’re stuck in HR. 1.3217 0.05022 143 107 26 10
1398 To be honest, the frying pan in the stairwell is looking like the better option. 1.3217 0.04922 143 106 28 9
1399 Which one of you is Dante? 1.3217 0.05119 143 108 24 11
1400 It's six feet apart, or go to hell! 1.3217 0.04922 143 106 28 9
1401 do NOT press "LL" again. 1.3217 0.04821 143 105 30 8
1402 We just left a Goldman Sachs board meeting. 1.3214 0.04890 140 103 29 8
1403 Well, it was either this or quarantining. 1.3200 0.04665 150 110 32 8
1404 That's one hell of an elevator. 1.3197 0.04825 147 109 29 9
1405 The Trump press briefing is playing in every other room" 1.3197 0.05197 147 113 21 13
1406 We thought Dante's Inferno was a steak house! 1.3197 0.04921 147 110 27 10
1407 Actually, it’s the humidity. 1.3197 0.04628 147 107 33 7
1408 This is what happens when you drink disinfectant 1.3194 0.04893 144 107 28 9
1409 This could have been a zoom meeting" 1.3194 0.04992 144 108 26 10
1410 You know, it could be worse..." 1.3194 0.04793 144 106 30 8
1411 how long?” “since march” 1.3194 0.04992 144 108 26 10
1412 Once again, Mary did not get the Elevator Fire Mosh Pit Day memo and arrives wearing heels ." 1.3194 0.04691 144 105 32 7
1413 I don't think it's going up anytime soon. 1.3194 0.04893 144 107 28 9
1414 OMG, it's the Woman Scorned! 1.3194 0.05275 144 111 20 13
1415 Don't push "Sub-Basement!" 1.3194 0.04793 144 106 30 8
1416 Could you push the "up" button? 1.3194 0.04793 144 106 30 8
1417 Can you ask them to please turn off the Muzak? 1.3194 0.05088 144 109 24 11
1418 Come on in for one hell of a ride! 1.3194 0.04691 144 105 32 7
1419 Sorry, Jan, we started without you. 1.3194 0.04893 144 107 28 9
1420 Lady, you crossed that threshold a long time ago. 1.3194 0.04893 144 107 28 9
1421 We are relocating. Hell is being renovated. 1.3194 0.04992 144 108 26 10
1422 Karen I wasn't joking, working in accounting is literally hell. 1.3194 0.04992 144 108 26 10
1423 Turns out you don't have to rot in hell. 1.3194 0.04793 144 106 30 8
1424 Are you the Editor in Chief? 1.3194 0.04992 144 108 26 10
1425 Don't worry, it's a dry heat. 1.3191 0.04861 141 106 26 9
1426 Turns out button “H” is not a garage level. 1.3176 0.04798 148 110 29 9
1427 Circle 9½. ALL-CAPS USERS.” 1.3172 0.05243 145 112 20 13
1428 Wrong elevator lady, this one’s going down. 1.3169 0.04934 142 106 27 9
1429 ‘Excuse me, we were looking for the Devil’s advocate.’ 1.3169 0.04934 142 106 27 9
1430 It’s ok, I’ll take the stairs. 1.3169 0.04620 142 103 33 6
1431 They said I’d go through hell for a promotion, but this isn’t what I imagined” 1.3169 0.05132 142 108 23 11
1432 Well, they told us it wouldn’t be the same after 2020.” 1.3169 0.04620 142 103 33 6
1433 “No face mask? Going down!” 1.3169 0.04934 142 106 27 9
1434 Susan, will you put my ‘out of office on’”? 1.3169 0.04832 142 105 29 8
1435 It’s safe to come in, we’ve sanitized the elevator with fire.” 1.3169 0.04620 142 103 33 6
1436 The client said our pitch was just smoke and mirrors but I really felt like we were on fire.” 1.3169 0.04934 142 106 27 9
1437 I guess it can only go up from here. 1.3169 0.04165 142 109 25 8
1438 I will wait for the next one. I'm social distancing." 1.3169 0.04620 142 103 33 6
1439 Shouldn't you be wearing a mask? 1.3169 0.05034 142 106 25 10
1440 You should see the L train." 1.3169 0.04934 142 106 27 9
1441 I’ll get the next one - I want to go up in flames” 1.3169 0.04934 142 106 27 9
1442 This elevator is for essential workers only.” 1.3169 0.05229 142 109 21 12
1443 Yeah, I see the fire, but where the heck is your face mask?” 1.3169 0.04727 142 104 31 7
1444 I knew going back to work after quarantine was going to be hell, but... really?" 1.3169 0.04511 142 102 35 5
1445 We might have room for one more. 1.3169 0.04832 142 105 29 8
1446 It's actually quite tolerable, except for the eternal Muzak. 1.3169 0.04832 142 105 29 8
1447 This is our punishment for inventing muzak. 1.3169 0.05034 142 107 25 10
1448 For the last time, there is NO highway to Hell. 1.3169 0.04727 142 104 31 7
1449 Please don't press the down button! 1.3169 0.05034 142 107 25 10
1450 Limbo's on 13. This is express. 1.3169 0.04934 142 106 27 9
1451 We ran out of handbaskets. 1.3169 0.04934 142 106 27 9
1452 Just water for me. 1.3169 0.04399 142 101 37 4
1453 It makes no difference which button you press. As a lawyer, your future is with us. 1.3169 0.05034 142 107 25 10
1454 We could use some high water. 1.3169 0.04566 142 105 30 7
1455 Yes, we're being cooked al Dante! 1.3169 0.05229 142 109 21 12
1456 I'd recommend catching the next one. 1.3169 0.05034 142 107 25 10
1457 Y'all fired? 1.3169 0.05132 142 108 23 11
1458 Linda's tragic typo: "In case of stairs, take fire elevator." 1.3169 0.04832 142 105 29 8
1459 You should have pushed "Up"! 1.3169 0.04934 142 106 27 9
1460 Watch your step. We're definitely going down. 1.3169 0.04832 142 105 29 8
1461 This new boss is really making the office a living hell. 1.3169 0.04832 142 105 29 8
1462 We were in purgatory until Todd pushed all the buttons at once 1.3169 0.04934 142 106 27 9
1463 What warning sign? 1.3169 0.05034 142 107 25 10
1464 Thanks but I'll just wait for the next one. 1.3169 0.04727 142 104 31 7
1465 Oh sorry, thought I pushed the up button. 1.3169 0.04934 142 106 27 9
1466 Personally, I'd recommend the stairway to heaven 1.3169 0.04934 142 106 27 9
1467 If I were you, I'd push the up button. 1.3169 0.04934 142 106 27 9
1468 I'm sorry, this car is just for investment bankers. 1.3169 0.04934 142 106 27 9
1469 Riding an elevator during a pandemic? Literally hell! 1.3169 0.04934 142 106 27 9
1470 Didn't you all see the sign that said take the stairs in case of fire? 1.3169 0.04934 142 106 27 9
1471 Better wait for the next one, if you want to go up... might be an eternity before this one returns! 1.3169 0.05229 142 109 21 12
1472 I hear the stairway goes the other way. 1.3169 0.05034 142 107 25 10
1473 An old flames reunion. 1.3169 0.05132 142 108 23 11
1474 Let me guess, you missed your quarterly target. 1.3169 0.04727 142 104 31 7
1475 Wouldn’t you know it? The inspection certificate is post-dated. 1.3169 0.04883 142 108 24 10
1476 Don't let the fact that we are literally going down in flames influence your job search. 1.3169 0.04727 142 104 31 7
1477 Since your other options are global warming or the coronavirus, is a fire really so bad? 1.3165 0.04683 139 101 32 6
1478 Hey lady, can you pass the marshmallows” 1.3165 0.05109 139 105 24 10
1479 Lately, I have been burning more calories by taking the elevator. 1.3165 0.04793 139 102 30 7
1480 You wouldn’t happen to be the elevator inspector, would you?” 1.3165 0.04793 139 102 30 7
1481 I guess I'll use the fire exit. 1.3165 0.04683 139 101 32 6
1482 The company's testing the new hell-avator. They signed up all the interns for this." 1.3165 0.04901 139 103 28 8
1483 I didn’t realize how far down this elevator shaft goes.” 1.3165 0.05006 139 104 26 9
1484 “That’s hell, right? Where’s Madoff?” 1.3165 0.05006 139 104 26 9
1485 Dammit Karen, it was a figure of speech. 1.3165 0.04683 139 101 32 6
1486 Yes, this is a great place to work. Good luck with your interview.” 1.3165 0.05210 139 106 22 11
1487 I’m sorry, but this car is saved for those with good intentions. 1.3165 0.05109 139 105 24 10
1488 Abandon all hope, ye who press mezzanine 1.3165 0.04455 139 99 36 4
1489 It was this or high water. We've been thru Sandy already. 1.3165 0.04571 139 100 34 5
1490 Excuse me, we were told this is the seventh level. 1.3165 0.05006 139 104 26 9
1491 This is Dante’s .5 circle of hell, for people who criticize cartoon captions but never write one themselves. 1.3165 0.04793 139 102 30 7
1492 A tip: re-read the penalty section of your NDA. 1.3165 0.05309 139 107 20 12
1493 Perhaps you're asking what the hell is going on? 1.3165 0.04901 139 103 28 8
1494 Please tell the boss we promise never to park in his spot again! 1.3165 0.05109 139 105 24 10
1495 Sorry, it was taco day in the cafeteria. 1.3165 0.05109 139 105 24 10
1496 Take the stairway to heaven instead. 1.3165 0.04901 139 103 28 8
1497 After 'worldwide pandemic' & 'killer hornets', you gotta agree that 'elevator door to hell' makes sense right about now." 1.3147 0.04904 143 107 27 9
1498 Oh, you went with the green shoes today... really, Karen? With that blouse?” 1.3147 0.04593 143 104 33 6
1499 "Guess I'm gonna take stairway to heaven." 1.3147 0.04803 143 106 29 8
1500 Welcome to the Hellivator 1.3147 0.05101 143 109 23 11
1501 I thought we were already in hell, but it looks like we have one more floor to go. 1.3147 0.04593 143 104 33 6
1502 Quick, push the up button! 1.3147 0.04904 143 107 27 9
1503 The up button doesn't always work for attorneys. 1.3147 0.05004 143 108 25 10
1504 Coming back up. They wouldn't accept this Administration. 1.3147 0.05101 143 109 23 11
1505 We already achieved gender equality in here. Take the next one, doll. 1.3147 0.04904 143 107 27 9
1506 It's not all bad. Those who 'replied all' got sent to the mailroom." 1.3143 0.04543 140 101 34 5
1507 Hell is other people” ~ Sartre 1.3143 0.05276 140 108 20 12
1508 Canada looking down at the United States 1.3143 0.05078 140 106 24 10
1509 You might wanna take the stairs. 1.3143 0.05276 140 108 20 12
1510 I’ll just wait and catch it on the way up 1.3143 0.04543 140 101 34 5
1511 Where did you think elevator music came from? 1.3143 0.05276 140 108 20 12
1512 We were fine till Fred got on. 1.3143 0.04710 140 105 27 8
1513 This is what happens when you give someone the shaft. 1.3143 0.04543 140 101 34 5
1514 I said "Light a fire under your team" metaphorically! 1.3139 0.05049 137 103 25 9
1515 It's actually not so bad... except for the humidity." 1.3139 0.05155 137 104 23 10
1516 There will be plenty of room in just a few minutes. 1.3139 0.04832 137 101 29 7
1517 Whatever you do, don't press the down button. 1.3139 0.04832 137 101 29 7
1518 Any of you have a dry cough? 1.3139 0.05155 137 104 23 10
1519 Ah, I see Florida is back to work. I’ll wait. 1.3125 0.04803 128 93 30 5
1520 When I said all hell would break loose if we went back to work too soon, I didn’t mean it literally!” 1.3125 0.04974 144 109 25 10
1521 Not to worry. It’s a dry heat. 1.3116 0.04339 138 98 37 3
1522 Cheryl knew in that moment, the “freedom” to return to normalcy came at too high a price. 1.3116 0.05224 138 106 21 11
1523 Oops! ....White House Elevator...? Ah, think I’ll take the next one...” 1.3116 0.05423 138 108 17 13
1524 This is a hell of a ride" 1.3116 0.05224 138 106 21 11
1525 On second hand, I think I’ll stick with the glass ceiling.” 1.3116 0.05018 138 104 25 9
1526 It’s not what it looks like...we’ve only been furloughed.” 1.3116 0.04577 138 100 33 5
1527 I recommended you accept HR's offer of severance with a non-disclosure agreement. 1.3116 0.04911 138 103 27 8
1528 Are you the change management consultant? 1.3116 0.05018 138 104 25 9
1529 I told you management was strict about social distancing.” 1.3111 0.05148 135 105 19 11
1530 We're protesting the stop, drop, and roll order" 1.3111 0.05094 135 102 24 9
1531 Don’t worry! I hear elevator fires are no worse than the flu 1.3111 0.05094 135 102 24 9
1532 We were given the shaft, then fired. 1.3111 0.05094 135 102 24 9
1533 Come right in. The coffee's still hot. 1.3111 0.04872 135 100 28 7
1534 We could really use your "hopes and prayers" right now. 1.3111 0.04872 135 100 28 7
1535 Well I’ll be damned... Veronica? How long has it been? 1.3094 0.04549 139 101 33 5
1536 These new disinfectant measures are getting a bit extreme" 1.3094 0.05191 139 107 21 11
1537 On or off? I'm not holding the door forever. 1.3094 0.04881 139 104 27 8
1538 Up or down? Take a wild guess. 1.3089 0.05307 123 93 22 8
1539 Julie was shocked that her new office building contained Dante’s lesser known 8th FLOOR of hell. 1.3088 0.04841 136 101 28 7
1540 Looks like Finance is going down in a blaze of glory” 1.3088 0.04491 136 103 26 7
1541 The handbasket is out of service but the freight elevator works just as well.” 1.3088 0.04368 136 97 36 3
1542 Welcome to phase 2 1.3088 0.04952 136 102 26 8
1543 It is what it is." 1.3088 0.05168 136 104 22 10
1544 Not in those shoes sorry Ma’am” 1.3088 0.04841 136 101 28 7
1545 Climbing the corporate shaft 1.3088 0.05374 136 106 18 12
1546 If all of you had had pants on during the zoom meeting. This would’ve never happened. 1.3088 0.05168 136 104 22 10
1547 Don’t tell us to get out! It’s our right to be here.” 1.3088 0.05168 136 104 22 10
1548 Sorry Nancy, we can’t let you in. You voted to impeach. 1.3088 0.05168 136 104 22 10
1549 We are headed down. Way down.” 1.3088 0.04611 136 99 32 5
1550 Hey team, glad you could make it to this years non-essential employee barbecue.” 1.3088 0.05061 136 103 24 9
1551 And they say the subway is hell!” 1.3088 0.05272 136 105 20 11
1552 Come on, it beats hot yoga.” 1.3088 0.05061 136 103 24 9
1553 Keep it up, team. I’ll take the stairs.” 1.3088 0.05272 136 105 20 11
1554 You can cancel my 2 o clock, and my 3 o clock and my ..... 1.3088 0.04841 136 101 28 7
1555 We’re just the parking violators. Net losses are two levels down. 1.3088 0.04727 136 100 30 6
1556 And Harvard business school promised up up up 1.3088 0.05374 136 106 18 12
1557 I'm a Democrat. Who are all of you? 1.3088 0.05168 136 104 22 10
1558 Frankly, I miss the water cooler talk the most 1.3088 0.04952 136 102 26 8
1559 Make room, I got fired too. 1.3088 0.04368 136 102 28 6
1560 We're all going down in flames. 1.3088 0.05061 136 103 24 9
1561 Lawyer? Take the express elevator. 1.3088 0.05168 136 104 22 10
1562 Welcome to middle management! 1.3088 0.04491 136 98 34 4
1563 Come on in, there’s no safe distancing in Hell! 1.3088 0.05061 136 103 24 9
1564 Stop judging me, Sheila. You said I should meet other people. 1.3088 0.05061 136 103 24 9
1565 Can you press "forgiven?" 1.3088 0.04952 136 102 26 8
1566 I'm sorry, this is the express for Circle Four: Greed 1.3088 0.05374 136 106 18 12
1567 Oh, the hell with it. I'll take the stairs. 1.3088 0.04727 136 100 30 6
1568 Better get the next one. 1.3088 0.04727 136 100 30 6
1569 I said we missed the floor, not we're a metaphor. 1.3088 0.04611 136 99 32 5
1570 Believe me, it's no bed of roses up here either! 1.3088 0.05061 136 103 24 9
1571 Wait, didn't I hit the Up button? 1.3088 0.04727 136 100 30 6
1572 We're stuck between gluttony and greed. 1.3088 0.04841 136 101 28 7
1573 On second thought, I’m going up. 1.3088 0.05168 136 104 22 10
1574 Surprise! You've been fired! 1.3088 0.05475 136 107 16 13
1575 I didn’t know there were elevators in the White House. 1.3088 0.05374 136 106 18 12
1576 Do you still want that report by Friday? 1.3088 0.05061 136 103 24 9
1577 I thought hell had a flexible work-from-home policy? 1.3088 0.04841 136 101 28 7
1578 “You guys go ahead. I’ll wait for the next one.” 1.3083 0.04795 133 98 29 6
1579 That was autocorrect. I didn’t actually mean I hope my email finds you in hell. 1.3083 0.05248 133 102 21 10
1580 wash your hands 1.3083 0.05248 133 102 21 10
1581 Thanks. I’ll take the window.” 1.3083 0.05565 133 105 15 13
1582 Susan envisions another trip to get help from IT 1.3083 0.05356 133 103 19 11
1583 What in the hell are you doing down there? 1.3083 0.05027 133 100 25 8
1584 It was either this or 5G” 1.3083 0.04912 133 99 27 7
1585 Charlie is all grown up, but she still can’t resist the urge to use her powers against those who won’t hold the elevator for a woman in heels. 1.3083 0.04674 133 97 31 5
1586 Going down to HR? 1.3083 0.04795 133 98 29 6
1587 I'm sorry, if you're names not Dante you're not coming in 1.3083 0.04795 133 98 29 6
1588 But where are your masks?” 1.3083 0.04551 133 96 33 4
1589 We decided that a Foam Party was the cleanest way to re-enter the work force.” 1.3083 0.04912 133 99 27 7
1590 There’s always room for one more” 1.3083 0.04674 133 97 31 5
1591 Sorry, executives only” 1.3083 0.05027 133 100 25 8
1592 Actually, I would like to get back in.” 1.3083 0.05139 133 101 23 9
1593 Still beats our 11:30 all-staff meetings with Ted. 1.3083 0.04551 133 96 33 4
1594 You’re being alarmist. We’ve had elevators for years.” 1.3083 0.05027 133 100 25 8
1595 We are going down in flames and there’s definitely room for one more.” 1.3083 0.05139 133 101 23 9
1596 Take back what you said Claire. For the love of God take it back. 1.3083 0.04912 133 99 27 7
1597 This is why most buildings don't have a 13th floor. 1.3083 0.04912 133 99 27 7
1598 Press "Up." 1.3083 0.05461 133 104 17 12
1599 You think you’re in hell? I’m stuck inside a New Yorker cartoon with tiny hoof feet . 1.3083 0.05356 133 103 19 11
1600 You may want to take the stairs. 1.3083 0.04912 133 99 27 7
1601 It’s ok - it’s a dry heat. 1.3083 0.04912 133 99 27 7
1602 This is the hellevator. Going down! 1.3083 0.04551 133 98 30 5
1603 This is literally an elevator from hell. 1.3083 0.05356 133 103 19 11
1604 Relax. It’s dry heat 1.3083 0.04795 133 98 29 6
1605 Trump said it would magically disappear. 1.3083 0.05356 133 103 19 11
1606 At least the building is rent controlled. 1.3083 0.05027 133 100 25 8
1607 Alright, who pressed 13? 1.3083 0.05027 133 100 25 8
1608 Going Down?" "Hell Yes!! 1.3083 0.05027 133 100 25 8
1609 Believe it or not, we were sent up here for punishment. 1.3083 0.05027 133 100 25 8
1610 The stairway to heaven is on the left. 1.3083 0.04912 133 99 27 7
1611 Also, I farted in here... 1.3083 0.04674 133 97 31 5
1612 You might want to think twice before padding that expense report. 1.3083 0.05027 133 100 25 8
1613 We weren’t wearing masks. 1.3071 0.04744 140 104 29 7
1614 Despite the horror her desire to socially connect was overwhelming. 1.3071 0.05058 140 107 23 10
1615 No, lady, we are not going up. 1.3071 0.05058 140 107 23 10
1616 When Nancy heard that some of her coworkers had gotten the shaft, this wasn't what she expected. 1.3066 0.04811 137 102 28 7
1617 It's still better than taking the stairs." 1.3066 0.04811 137 102 28 7
1618 This doesn’t look like enough social distancing” 1.3066 0.05135 137 105 22 10
1619 No, going down. 1.3066 0.05238 137 106 20 11
1620 Touching the down arrow without hand sanitizer is the least of your concerns. 1.3066 0.04811 137 102 28 7
1621 Someone pushed H. 1.3066 0.04811 137 102 28 7
1622 And you think the glass ceiling is a problem! 1.3066 0.05029 137 104 24 9
1623 I wouldn't hit the down button if I were you 1.3066 0.04698 137 101 30 6
1624 You obviously hit the down button more than once. 1.3066 0.04755 137 104 25 8
1625 It's a helluva elevator speech. 1.3066 0.04921 137 103 26 8
1626 We’re going to have to revise our findings on the flashpoint of hand sanitizer” 1.3060 0.05214 134 103 21 10
1627 I thought you said seventh circle 1.3060 0.05106 134 102 23 9
1628 Out of the frying pan” 1.3060 0.05214 134 103 21 10
1629 Yeah, this one isn't a drill... Take the stairs 1.3060 0.05321 134 104 19 11
1630 I'm warning you, don't go below the basement. 1.3060 0.04994 134 101 25 8
1631 Great. Now I have to walk down seven flights of stairs in heels. 1.3060 0.04994 134 101 25 8
1632 Well you are the people that voted for Trump. What do you expect? 1.3060 0.04764 134 99 29 6
1633 We thought the boiler was malfunctioning, but it turns out Hell was only a half floor below. 1.3060 0.04881 134 100 27 7
1634 It looks like you all have had a day straight out of hell! 1.3060 0.04881 134 100 27 7
1635 This is the no social distancing car" 1.3060 0.04764 134 99 29 6
1636 So how long have you guys been in quarantine? 1.3060 0.04645 134 98 31 5
1637 Now that's an easy short cut to hell. 1.3060 0.04584 134 100 28 6
1638 Told you it was hell taking the elevator... 1.3053 0.04953 131 98 26 7
1639 I knew I should have worked from home. You're not even wearing masks." 1.3053 0.04710 131 96 30 5
1640 Hell? This is a law firm, your stop is one floor up. 1.3053 0.05071 131 99 24 8
1641 This is why I wanted to work from home” 1.3053 0.04833 131 97 28 6
1642 Essential Workers Only. 1.3053 0.05185 131 100 22 9
1643 Trump just asked me to be his running mate 1.3053 0.05620 131 104 14 13
1644 What do the Hellevator and the economy have in common? They’re goin down.” 1.3053 0.04953 131 98 26 7
1645 I thought it was a stairway to hell. This is a lot more convenient. 1.3053 0.05185 131 100 22 9
1646 This is what happens when you press down too many times. 1.3053 0.04953 131 98 26 7
1647 We don’t worry about social distancing where you are going. 1.3053 0.04953 131 98 26 7
1648 The next time someone says 'go to hell', take it seriously! 1.3053 0.04833 131 97 28 6
1649 Don’t worry, Karen, my lawyer is all over this. 1.3053 0.04953 131 98 26 7
1650 This is the fright elevator. 1.3053 0.05185 131 100 22 9
1651 oh dear, Trump darling. But you remember you cut OSHA when you slashed EPA 1.3053 0.04710 131 101 22 8
1652 We're not practicing self distancing. You may want to wait for the next one. 1.3053 0.05071 131 99 24 8
1653 Fifth floor must be Greed! 1.3053 0.05071 131 99 24 8
1654 This is a private elevator for lawyers only. 1.3053 0.04833 131 97 28 6
1655 Hot air rises, Karen. You'll be fine." 1.3043 0.04781 138 103 28 7
1656 I've just gotta ask … why does your left eye look like a small penis? 1.3037 0.05491 135 107 15 13
1657 Going down I figure. 1.3030 0.04802 132 98 28 6
1658 “It’s okay ma’am, we’re interns.” 1.3030 0.04921 132 99 26 7
1659 So... does the Devil actually wear Prada?” 1.3030 0.05037 132 100 24 8
1660 Oh my God ,how much lysol have i inhaled? 1.3030 0.05262 132 102 20 10
1661 It’s okay, none of us are wearing masks either. 1.3030 0.05151 132 101 22 9
1662 Are you attending anger management training too?” 1.3030 0.04680 132 97 30 5
1663 So this is what they mean by "problematic". 1.3030 0.04426 132 95 34 3
1664 God looking down on 2020 1.3030 0.04680 132 102 22 8
1665 It's not what it looks like." 1.3030 0.04921 132 99 26 7
1666 When I said “building full of hotties,” this isn’t what I meant, 1.3030 0.05151 132 101 22 9
1667 Welcome back to work. 1.3030 0.05151 132 101 22 9
1668 "This is our new disinfectant. Kills all those viruses instantly. Like magic." 1.3030 0.05151 132 101 22 9
1669 It's a living hell in here" 1.3030 0.05371 132 103 18 11
1670 i was wondering where all the people without masks were going” 1.3030 0.04680 132 97 30 5
1671 Its fine, this is still better than 2020 1.3030 0.05037 132 100 24 8
1672 Is this where the President’s latest task force is meeting? 1.3030 0.05037 132 100 24 8
1673 Where in hell are you people going? 1.3030 0.05151 132 101 22 9
1674 Work from home or work from hell - vision 2020" 1.3030 0.04802 132 98 28 6
1675 Every elevator in Trump Tower 1.3030 0.05262 132 101 20 10
1676 A burning issue has come up. 1.3030 0.05037 132 100 24 8
1677 And I thought I had a rough week.” 1.3030 0.05037 132 100 24 8
1678 Going back to work will be literal hell 1.3030 0.04921 132 99 26 7
1679 Mark, when I said we’d prepare to go down in flames I didn’t mean... 1.3030 0.04921 132 99 26 7
1680 Thanks Dave, but I’ll just take the stairs 1.3030 0.05037 132 100 24 8
1681 No, we're used to that. The problem is that we're stuck between floors. 1.3030 0.04555 132 96 32 4
1682 I'd wait for one going up. 1.3030 0.04921 132 99 26 7
1683 You're cancelling our fire insurance? We didn't file a claim yet. 1.3030 0.05151 132 101 22 9
1684 Honey, I can explain later why I am shirtless. For now please call 911! 1.3030 0.05262 132 102 20 10
1685 We forgot out face masks 1.3030 0.04680 132 97 30 5
1686 Like hell I’m getting in this elevator without a mask. 1.3030 0.05037 132 100 24 8
1687 You seem like a nice lady, why don't you take the stairs? 1.3030 0.04802 132 98 28 6
1688 Once you get in it's actually quite pleasant. 1.3030 0.04426 132 95 34 3
1689 I think I’ll just take the corporate ladder” 1.3030 0.05262 132 102 20 10
1690 Umm, thanks, I'll take the next one. 1.3030 0.05262 132 102 20 10
1691 I understand your confusion, but corporate lobbyists are on the 17th floor. 1.3030 0.05037 132 100 24 8
1692 This Elevator is going down Madam. 1.3030 0.04921 132 99 26 7
1693 Hi, we're the other people. 1.3030 0.05037 132 100 24 8
1694 Yes, down, but express 1.3030 0.05477 132 104 16 12
1695 Careful. The 'L' button stands for Lucifer. 1.3030 0.04921 132 99 26 7
1696 Can I bother you for a glass of water? 1.3030 0.05037 132 100 24 8
1697 Well, heat is supposed to kill the virus. 1.3030 0.05037 132 100 24 8
1698 This is worse than the tuba players 1.3030 0.05037 132 100 24 8
1699 You might want to rethink the deal you just made 1.3030 0.04555 132 96 32 4
1700 Lady, this elevator is going to hell! 1.3030 0.05262 132 102 20 10
1701 The good news is we still have jobs. 1.3030 0.04555 132 96 32 4
1702 Yeah, Nikki Haley got off too. 1.3030 0.05151 132 101 22 9
1703 Are you here to fix the sprinklers? 1.3030 0.05037 132 100 24 8
1704 I think I’ll wait for the next one” 1.3023 0.05233 129 99 21 9
1705 “you may want to rethink that back to work order for another month...” 1.3023 0.05233 129 99 21 9
1706 This is still better than helping my kid with geometry” 1.3023 0.05116 129 98 23 8
1707 Oh sorry, you’re all going down in flames - I intend to go up in flames so I’ll wait for the next one!” 1.3023 0.04873 129 96 27 6
1708 This one's pretty full. Might want to wait for the next one. 1.3023 0.04747 129 95 29 5
1709 “Big Pharma? Nope...You need to go up a floor. We’re going down to NRA.” 1.3023 0.05116 129 98 23 8
1710 I'd rather take the stairway to heaven 1.3023 0.05116 129 98 23 8
1711 Sorry, I didn’t have time to fire you all individually 1.3023 0.04873 129 96 27 6
1712 Apparently there was a “no hand shaking” memo we all missed 1.3023 0.05233 129 99 21 9
1713 ...I’ll just get the next one” 1.3023 0.05347 129 100 19 10
1714 It’s definitely disinfected. 1.3023 0.05116 129 98 23 8
1715 We’re back to work but taking extreme disinfecting measures.” 1.3023 0.05116 129 98 23 8
1716 This place sure has gone to hell 1.3023 0.05116 129 98 23 8
1717 Karen realized with horror that she’d forgotten to wear deodorant to her first day at Hell Inc.” 1.3023 0.05347 129 100 19 10
1718 You know what? It stills beats a Zoom meeting.” 1.3023 0.05116 129 98 23 8
1719 Can I assume you’ve all been tested? 1.3023 0.05116 129 98 23 8
1720 Really? Violating elevator capacity is your biggest concern right now? 1.3023 0.05233 129 99 21 9
1721 It was this or another Zoom call. 1.3023 0.05233 129 99 21 9
1722 Karma. I told the boss, "Go to Hell." 1.3023 0.05233 129 99 21 9
1723 You were right, this place is going to hell. 1.3023 0.04747 129 95 29 5
1724 Well I’ll actually be damned if I have to take the stairs. 1.3023 0.04873 129 96 27 6
1725 I hope you don’t have any important papers in that briefcase 1.3023 0.05233 129 99 21 9
1726 Going all the way down, I see. 1.3023 0.04618 129 94 31 4
1727 Perkins, I still want that report by Friday. I am sure there are computers in hell. 1.3023 0.05233 129 99 21 9
1728 Uh, no. Purgatorio is one floor up. We’re just all going to hell here. 1.3023 0.04873 129 96 27 6
1729 Any chance you could make a Big Gulp run for us? 1.3023 0.04348 129 92 35 2
1730 Uh, no. We're not going up. 1.3023 0.04618 129 94 31 4
1731 It’s bigger than a hand basket. 1.3023 0.05116 129 98 23 8
1732 When I said, "You can all go to Hell," I didn't mean it literally. 1.3023 0.04873 129 96 27 6
1733 Another damnation that could have been an email. 1.3023 0.03984 129 97 28 4
1734 Before you get on, do you mind putting on a mask? 1.3023 0.05116 129 98 23 8
1735 No, actually this is Limbo. 1.3023 0.05116 129 98 23 8
1736 The current crop of New Yorker cartoonists has lost its subtlety! 1.3023 0.04996 129 97 25 7
1737 Purgatory's on four. 1.3023 0.04873 129 96 27 6
1738 I told you this company was going to Hell! 1.3023 0.05116 129 98 23 8
1739 Oh, you don’t see your ex cause I’m standing on his shoulders. 1.3023 0.05116 129 98 23 8
1740 Yeah it's hot, but you get used to it. 1.3023 0.03984 129 97 28 4
1741 I'm sorry, this elevator only goes to the legal department. 1.3023 0.05347 129 100 19 10
1742 No corner office, no personal hell...I quit. 1.3023 0.04996 129 97 25 7
1743 It's exactly what it looks like 1.3023 0.05233 129 99 21 9
1744 I can see your hose from here !" 1.3022 0.04752 139 104 28 7
1745 You're overdressed. 1.3022 0.04860 139 105 26 8
1746 Just take the next one.” 1.3008 0.05227 133 103 20 10
1747 Sheryl, I almost didn't recognize you with your clothes on! 1.3008 0.05005 133 101 24 8
1748 I’ll just wait for the next one, thanks 1.3008 0.04771 133 99 28 6
1749 Are you another lawyer? 1.3008 0.04889 133 100 26 7
1750 ...And then I said, We are all in this together” 🤓 1.3000 0.04653 130 98 26 6
1751 My boss told me to go to Hell. 1.3000 0.04653 130 98 26 6
1752 Not another trial by fire! 1.2992 0.04784 127 94 28 5
1753 Virus, hornets... now fire? I really thought God would be more creative with the next plague” 1.2992 0.05039 127 96 24 7
1754 So, now you’re going to find out what happens if you push both buttons at the same time.” 1.2992 0.05161 127 97 22 8
1755 I guess this is what happens when you don’t follow CDC guidelines 1.2992 0.05039 127 96 24 7
1756 It looks bad, but you should see the stairs. 1.2992 0.04516 127 92 32 3
1757 The president must have Tweeted that fire is a good alternative to disinfectant. 1.2992 0.05161 127 97 22 8
1758 What the hell's going on?" 1.2992 0.05281 127 98 20 9
1759 Global Warming is everywhere these days. 1.2992 0.04913 127 95 26 6
1760 We may have been a little persistent in pushing that down button... 1.2992 0.05281 127 98 20 9
1761 I told you we should start taking temperatures before letting anyone in the office.” 1.2992 0.05039 127 96 24 7
1762 This can't be right, I've got an MBA. 1.2992 0.04913 127 95 26 6
1763 Yes. We’re going up. Our charges were dropped. 1.2992 0.04913 127 95 26 6
1764 No, seriously. The boss said I was on fire today. 1.2992 0.05281 127 98 20 9
1765 It turns out all the religions are wrong. God is the boss from Dilbert and, lady, he is fucking pissed. 1.2992 0.05398 127 99 18 10
1766 At least someone’s looking hot today. 1.2992 0.05161 127 97 22 8
1767 Even if you’ve been good your whole life, never press all the buttons. 1.2992 0.04784 127 94 28 5
1768 We're trying the White House's new recommendation for COVID-19 therapies. 1.2992 0.05161 127 97 22 8
1769 You forgot the marshmallows? 1.2992 0.04652 127 93 30 4
1770 It’s o.k. The president told us that he had it under control! 1.2992 0.05398 127 99 18 10
1771 I guess you could say we got the shaft. 1.2992 0.05161 127 97 22 8
1772 Unfortunately for you, there is no “next one”... 1.2992 0.05039 127 96 24 7
1773 Being stuck and burning would be bad enough, but the Muzak is all Abba. 1.2992 0.05039 127 96 24 7
1774 Yeah, it's Hell, but it kills the virus! 1.2992 0.04913 127 95 26 6
1775 Come on in, no social distancing down here. 1.2992 0.05039 127 96 24 7
1776 Thank god, you've brought marshmallows! 1.2992 0.05161 127 97 22 8
1777 Sorry. It’s eight riders tops, and we’ve already got multitudes. 1.2992 0.05039 127 95 24 7
1778 On the plus side, all your colleagues are here. 1.2992 0.04913 127 95 26 6
1779 It was either this or the stairs. 1.2992 0.05281 127 98 20 9
1780 If you’re here for your exit interview, you’re overdressed. 1.2992 0.04913 127 95 26 6
1781 Going down only. 1.2992 0.05281 127 98 20 9
1782 No, really, there’s room for one more” 1.2985 0.04107 134 100 30 4
1783 Sorry. Wrong floor. I wasn’t looking for accounting. 1.2985 0.04858 134 101 26 7
1784 The PPE still hasn't come. 1.2985 0.05193 134 104 20 10
1785 Great !!! A perfect ending to a "hell of a day" 1.2985 0.04858 134 101 26 7
1786 You here for the new 'feel the burn' class? 1.2985 0.04621 134 99 30 5
1787 Who knew the Rapture was fake news? 1.2985 0.04741 134 100 28 6
1788 Are you a banker or lawyer? Or a member of Trump's cabinet? 1.2985 0.05084 134 103 22 9
1789 It's windowless, prone to spontaneous bouts of fire, and I share a bedroom with 4 other roommates, but hey--at least I can finally afford the midtown rent prices with my stimulus check! 1.2985 0.05193 134 104 20 10
1790 Geez, mister Trump's properties have sure gone downhill since he made that last deal with the devil. 1.2977 0.04686 131 97 29 5
1791 Is it Take Your Demon to work day already? 1.2969 0.05005 128 97 24 7
1792 I’m trying to get to the fifth circle of hell actually.” 1.2969 0.04621 128 94 30 4
1793 Does Harvey Weinstein live on this floor? 1.2969 0.05005 128 97 24 7
1794 No, accounts payable is on the 16th floor. We're in legal services. 1.2969 0.05245 128 99 20 9
1795 We're going to hell. Lingerie is on the third floor. 1.2969 0.05005 128 97 24 7
1796 Can you press 'Down'? 1.2969 0.05126 128 98 22 8
1797 Turns out this job really is hell. 1.2969 0.05361 128 100 18 10
1798 Nothing to see here, Margaret.” 1.2960 0.04823 125 93 27 5
1799 The creative team was literally on fire today." 1.2960 0.05083 125 95 23 7
1800 C’mon in. The fire’s fine! 1.2960 0.04955 125 94 25 6
1801 This is the only one working." 1.2960 0.05208 125 96 21 8
1802 We missed the deadline." 1.2960 0.04823 125 93 27 5
1803 The boss really meant it when she said we got fired...” 1.2960 0.05083 125 95 23 7
1804 Now that’s an exit strategy 1.2960 0.04955 125 94 25 6
1805 I think you’re taking the whole Devil’s Advocate thing a little too far.” 1.2960 0.04823 125 93 27 5
1806 To be fair, we did hit "Reply all" 1.2960 0.04955 125 94 25 6
1807 Everybody Jump” 1.2960 0.04547 125 91 31 3
1808 I thought the fire was just an empty threat to get us to self-isolate! 1.2960 0.05331 125 97 19 9
1809 It was this or staying at home.” 1.2960 0.05331 125 97 19 9
1810 We are waiting for hell to freeze over or Trump to deliver a clear response to the pandemic. 1.2960 0.05083 125 95 23 7
1811 Well, good morning to you too" 1.2960 0.04955 125 94 25 6
1812 You’re really going to make me take the stairs in heals? 1.2960 0.05208 125 96 21 8
1813 Ah yes, you were protesting at the capital. There’s a special place for you here.” 1.2960 0.04823 125 93 27 5
1814 Sorry, I'm practicing social distancing" 1.2960 0.04955 125 94 25 6
1815 What you’re seeing and hearing isn’t really happening. 1.2960 0.05083 125 95 23 7
1816 You just had to hit reply all on that last email. 1.2960 0.05331 125 97 19 9
1817 Sorry, I already have enough fires to put out at home” 1.2960 0.04955 125 94 25 6
1818 Injecting yourself with disinfectant may cause hallucinations. 1.2960 0.05451 125 98 17 10
1819 But the project deadline won't be postponed". 1.2960 0.04823 125 98 19 8
1820 THIS is the elevator sanitation device? 1.2960 0.05083 125 95 23 7
1821 Someone found the 13th floor.” 1.2960 0.05083 125 95 23 7
1822 We don't get paid enough for this" 1.2960 0.05083 125 95 23 7
1823 I’ll take the stairway to heaven.” 1.2960 0.05208 125 96 21 8
1824 You guys must be from accounting” 1.2960 0.04823 125 93 27 5
1825 Stairs it is! 1.2960 0.05083 125 95 23 7
1826 Dante was mistaken. There’s a 10th circle: people who make small talk in elevators. 1.2960 0.05568 125 99 15 11
1827 I'll take the stairs...thanks. 1.2960 0.04955 125 94 25 6
1828 Which circle?” 1.2960 0.04955 125 94 25 6
1829 This elevator is for the Oval Office only, use the next one. I beg of you. 1.2960 0.05331 125 97 19 9
1830 oh, I didn't vote for Trump, so, I guess I'll take the next one" 1.2960 0.05331 125 97 19 9
1831 Once you get past the eternal damnation part, it’s really just like living in Las Vegas!” 1.2960 0.04823 125 93 27 5
1832 In 2020, hell comes to you... 1.2960 0.05208 125 96 21 8
1833 on the bright side, heat kills the virus 1.2960 0.04547 125 91 31 3
1834 Going down, or up in flames?” 1.2960 0.05331 125 96 19 9
1835 No more than 4 to an elevator 1.2960 0.04955 125 94 25 6
1836 But on the plus side, the curve is flattening.” 1.2960 0.04955 125 94 25 6
1837 We chose this over working from home one more day" 1.2960 0.05083 125 95 23 7
1838 Get in Helen, we’re goin’ to corporate” 1.2960 0.04823 125 93 27 5
1839 This place is hell. 1.2960 0.05208 125 96 21 8
1840 Going Dante? 1.2960 0.05451 125 98 17 10
1841 It's been a hellofa week at the office. 1.2960 0.04955 125 94 25 6
1842 We just finished the Republican caucus. 1.2960 0.05208 125 96 21 8
1843 There’s been a severe shortage of handbaskets since 2016. 1.2960 0.05083 125 95 23 7
1844 Told you all this place was going down in flames 1.2960 0.04687 125 92 29 4
1845 We're Science deniers - Live Pagen! Die Pagen! 1.2960 0.05208 125 96 21 8
1846 Masks are optional. 1.2960 0.05208 125 93 21 8
1847 Sorry, you have to bring your own hand basket. 1.2960 0.04823 125 93 27 5
1848 This one is stuck eternally. The next one should be free. 1.2960 0.04823 125 93 27 5
1849 Re-open the U.S. amid a pandemic and always take the elevator during a fire. 1.2960 0.05208 125 96 21 8
1850 We are going down in flames, next elevator is up in smoke. 1.2960 0.05083 125 95 23 7
1851 I may be late for the meeting. 1.2960 0.04955 125 94 25 6
1852 Trust me, you don’t want to work here 1.2960 0.05208 125 96 21 8
1853 No, this is sixth, Heresy. Greed is on four. 1.2960 0.05451 125 98 17 10
1854 This is what happens when you don't take social distancing seriously. 1.2960 0.05568 125 99 15 11
1855 We told you this was a hell of a place to work. 1.2960 0.05208 125 96 21 8
1856 Need you ask? 1.2960 0.04687 125 92 29 4
1857 For Heaven you have to use the stairway." 1.2960 0.05083 125 95 23 7
1858 You should use the fire exit! 1.2960 0.05451 125 98 17 10
1859 Sure it’s a little warm, but the basement bargains are to die for. 1.2960 0.04823 125 93 27 5
1860 Hurry! If you jump you can go straight to hell with the rest of us. 1.2960 0.05208 125 96 21 8
1861 Tell Human Resources that the "Ethics Tutorial" has some problems. 1.2960 0.05083 125 95 23 7
1862 We're the company hotshots. The whiz kids are in the bathroom. 1.2960 0.04955 125 94 25 6
1863 I thought they were going to drain the swamp. 1.2960 0.05083 125 95 23 7
1864 It might look bad, but the elevator is running about as well as everything else right now. 1.2960 0.04955 125 94 25 6
1865 If you can't stand the heat, don't take the Hellevator. 1.2960 0.04687 125 92 29 4
1866 I pressed UP, not DOWN 1.2960 0.03939 125 96 25 4
1867 Janet, what did you think happened when told us to go to hell? 1.2960 0.05208 125 96 21 8
1868 Didn't anybody tell you? We've been fired. 1.2960 0.05451 125 98 17 10
1869 Hey, you guys are from Dewey, Birnam and Howe right? 1.2960 0.04955 125 94 25 6
1870 Don’t worry guys, I’ll catch the next one. 1.2960 0.04955 125 94 25 6
1871 Don’t bother applying. They’re firing everybody. 1.2960 0.05331 125 97 19 9
1872 Purgatory is up one. 1.2960 0.05331 125 97 19 9
1873 Don't worry. It's just a laundry chute. Throw in the briefcase. We'll clean your money once we get down there. 1.2960 0.05083 125 95 23 7
1874 They sent us out to work from home. 1.2960 0.05208 125 96 21 8
1875 Eventually everybody goes down. Even upper management. 1.2960 0.05208 125 96 21 8
1876 Have we made it, is this the executive floor? 1.2960 0.05208 125 95 21 8
1877 Is this floor 666? 1.2960 0.04687 125 92 29 4
1878 Never fails, when I want to go up the only elevator is going down. 1.2960 0.04823 125 93 27 5
1879 Handbaskets, top floor, lady. 1.2960 0.05208 125 96 21 8
1880 I know, but the stairway had locusts. 1.2960 0.05331 125 97 19 9
1881 I recommend that you take the stairs. 1.2960 0.05083 125 95 23 7
1882 Jury duty. 1.2960 0.05331 125 97 19 9
1883 Fire hurts, Karen, but feeling left out hurts more. 1.2960 0.05331 125 97 19 9
1884 We're not going down.We're stuck in limbo. 1.2960 0.04403 125 90 33 2
1885 It was either this, or wear masks. 1.2960 0.05208 125 96 21 8
1886 Sure, but this is the first meeting in months where we’re all wearing pants.” 1.2951 0.05544 122 96 16 10
1887 this way of disinfecting the lift is not working” 1.2951 0.04895 122 91 26 5
1888 But are you six feet apart 1.2951 0.05032 122 92 24 6
1889 Heaven can wait 🔥👹 1.2951 0.05032 122 92 24 6
1890 would you mind catching the next one? it’s kind of a bad time. 1.2951 0.05165 122 93 22 7
1891 Thank you for calling the unemployment claims hotline, please hold 1.2951 0.05294 122 94 20 8
1892 Hell is other people in a broken elevator." 1.2951 0.05165 122 93 22 7
1893 We look forward to serving you again at The Purgatory" 1.2951 0.05165 122 93 22 7
1894 We hit reply all to company-wide emails 1.2951 0.05421 122 95 18 9
1895 We could climb out, but I worry the cure might be worse than the disease.” 1.2951 0.05294 122 94 20 8
1896 The flaming lift is stuck again... 1.2951 0.05165 122 93 22 7
1897 We didn’t social distance” 1.2951 0.05032 122 92 24 6
1898 The Staircase to Heaven was blocked off”. 1.2951 0.05421 122 95 18 9
1899 He doesn't believe in masks or social distancing. 1.2951 0.04895 122 91 26 5
1900 Trust me, you want the Stairway to Heaven, around to the left! 1.2951 0.05032 122 92 24 6
1901 On reflection, taking the pay cut was the right choice for Karen. 1.2951 0.05032 122 92 24 6
1902 It’s clothing optional and no carry-on luggage allowed. 1.2951 0.05165 122 93 22 7
1903 I suggest you do not go down. 1.2951 0.05294 122 99 12 11
1904 Welcome Back! Working from the Office is the new Hell! 1.2951 0.04895 122 91 26 5
1905 If you think this is bad you should see the accounting wing 1.2951 0.05165 122 93 22 7
1906 Social distancing, injecting bleach, or disinfection with fire!? 1.2951 0.05032 122 92 24 6
1907 It was either this or the board meeting. 1.2951 0.05165 122 93 22 7
1908 When they said a corporation would take my soul I thought it’d be more subtle. 1.2951 0.05294 122 94 20 8
1909 This isn't going to help you deal with your fear of elevators, is it? 1.2951 0.04610 122 94 22 6
1910 "Floor Six, Hell. Awkward small talk, uncomfortable glances, and someone who ate Mexican last night . 1.2951 0.05032 122 92 24 6
1911 Oh, so you're like FIRED fired. 1.2951 0.04683 122 92 25 5
1912 Bad mistake. We pushed the pentagram instead of the penthouse button. 1.2951 0.05032 122 92 24 6
1913 It may be Hell, but it's a welcome respite from work. 1.2951 0.05165 122 93 22 7
1914 Yep, this is the express.. 1.2951 0.04895 122 91 26 5
1915 Come on, all of Wall Street is working from home. 1.2951 0.05032 122 92 24 6
1916 Doesn't look like you've been fired yet. 1.2951 0.05165 122 93 22 7
1917 Changed my mind. I will stay here in purgatory 1.2951 0.04895 122 91 26 5
1918 Is this the 13th floor?. 1.2951 0.04895 122 91 26 5
1919 Can you get maintenance? The fire button just controls temperature 1.2951 0.05165 122 93 22 7
1920 The H didn't stand for Hall. 1.2951 0.05544 122 96 16 10
1921 That's OK, I'll catch it on the way up. 1.2951 0.05032 122 92 24 6
1922 Come on down, we're with the Trump Administration. 1.2951 0.05544 122 96 16 10
1923 You said it was a furlough 1.2951 0.05165 122 93 22 7
1924 Trust me. Wait for the next one. 1.2951 0.05032 122 92 24 6
1925 I see you are here for your interview with Dante. 1.2951 0.05165 122 93 22 7
1926 Fast, jump in, the next one is your boss with coffee breath. 1.2951 0.05294 122 94 20 8
1927 There will be plenty of room on the return trip. 1.2951 0.05165 122 93 22 7
1928 This is for lawyers – CPA's are on the next car. 1.2951 0.05294 122 94 20 8
1929 Welcome to Accounting 1.2951 0.05032 122 92 24 6
1930 I thought hell would freeze over before I had to return to the office...lost that bet.” 1.2946 0.05092 129 99 22 8
1931 You go ahead. I’m going up.” 1.2937 0.04790 126 94 27 5
1932 We expect it to freeze over any minute” 1.2937 0.04921 126 95 25 6
1933 The difference between me and you is that I’m on fire. 1.2937 0.05048 126 96 23 7
1934 Burnout in a workplace 1.2937 0.05172 126 97 21 8
1935 So, Miss Bonnie ... we always thought you were so ... perfect. 1.2937 0.03575 126 96 27 3
1936 No, this is the express elevator to the DMV. 1.2937 0.05172 126 97 21 8
1937 This elevator only goes down to hell or high water. Take the other one to reach fire and brimstone. 1.2937 0.04655 126 93 29 4
1938 But you promised to follow me anywhere. 1.2937 0.04790 126 94 27 5
1939 Great presentation! You guys were on fire today! 1.2937 0.04921 126 95 25 6
1940 I’d like to file an appeal if it’s not too late. 1.2937 0.04921 126 95 25 6
1941 We got on in hell and the damned thing just kept going up. 1.2937 0.03201 126 99 23 4
1942 You're going in those shoes? 1.2937 0.04517 126 92 31 3
1943 And suddenly Beth realized how cool the view from the top really was. 1.2927 0.04997 123 93 24 6
1944 We're going to The Bad Place." 1.2927 0.05128 123 94 22 7
1945 «Hey Rachel, fire drill today.» 1.2927 0.05128 123 94 22 7
1946 Don’t forget your hand sanitizer” 1.2927 0.04997 123 93 24 6
1947 M’am, either jump in to go down in flames or take the stairway to heaven.” 1.2927 0.04722 123 91 28 4
1948 Oh great, who decided Hades should be in charge of maintenance again?” 1.2927 0.04861 123 92 26 5
1949 Are those Louboutins? 1.2927 0.05257 123 95 20 8
1950 Yeah, He’s officially rounding up all the Republicans 1.2927 0.05257 123 95 20 8
1951 I knew going back to work was going to be hell." 1.2927 0.04792 123 94 23 6
1952 What happened to the gates?” 1.2927 0.05382 123 96 18 9
1953 “If you press the emergency button you better mean it” 1.2927 0.04997 123 93 24 6
1954 So, can I expect that by end of day?” 1.2927 0.05128 123 94 22 7
1955 You couldn't press up, could you? 1.2927 0.04997 123 93 24 6
1956 What happens to people who try to leave work early. 1.2927 0.04997 123 93 24 6
1957 We’ve reached the 9th level of Hell, legal department! 1.2927 0.04861 123 92 26 5
1958 Well, guess there’s no where to go but up” 1.2927 0.04997 123 93 24 6
1959 I'll wait for the next one, thanks. 1.2927 0.04997 123 93 24 6
1960 May I recommend the stairway to heaven? 1.2927 0.04722 123 91 28 4
1961 It was this or get investigated by Ronan Farrow. 1.2927 0.04997 123 93 24 6
1962 You must be here for the Board meeting. 1.2927 0.04861 123 92 26 5
1963 Guess I'll just take the stairs 1.2927 0.04722 123 91 28 4
1964 Oops, I must have pressed the down button a few too many times! 1.2927 0.05257 123 95 20 8
1965 Psst... they're firing everyone, take the fire escape. 1.2927 0.05382 123 96 18 9
1966 Would you mind making a beer run? 1.2927 0.04722 123 91 28 4
1967 Shall I send your mother your regards? 1.2927 0.05257 123 95 20 8
1968 This that special place you've heard is reserved for micromanagers. 1.2927 0.05257 123 95 20 8
1969 Sorry Cheryl, only real nudists allowed at the elevator meringue party! 1.2927 0.05257 123 95 20 8
1970 Hold the door for me please! 1.2917 0.04936 120 90 25 5
1971 We're having a fire drill. 1.2917 0.05076 120 91 23 6
1972 In case of fire, take stairs 1.2917 0.04936 120 90 25 5
1973 We were all fired” 1.2917 0.04936 120 90 25 5
1974 Purgatory: inconvenience or ignoring social distancing guidelines 1.2917 0.05076 120 91 23 6
1975 Good luck with your interview. 1.2917 0.04936 120 90 25 5
1976 The stairway to heaven is nonsmoking. 1.2917 0.05212 120 92 21 7
1977 No, the gates to hell are over there. This is just the elevator to the costumer support Center. 1.2917 0.04936 120 90 25 5
1978 What are you staring at? 1.2917 0.05212 120 92 21 7
1979 This is why you don’t take the elevator when it says out of order.” 1.2917 0.05076 120 91 23 6
1980 Does it spark joy? 1.2917 0.05474 120 94 17 9
1981 I’ll tell you what I told Dante - you’re looking for the 9th Floor in Building C. This is Building A.” 1.2917 0.04936 120 90 25 5
1982 Sorry, Susan. This elevator is just for lawyers. 1.2917 0.05076 120 91 23 6
1983 Where in Hell do you think we’re going? 1.2917 0.05345 120 93 19 8
1984 It looks worse than it is. 1.2917 0.05345 120 93 19 8
1985 No thanks. I’ll take the next one. 1.2917 0.05474 120 94 17 9
1986 Which floor is the pool on? 1.2917 0.05212 120 92 21 7
1987 Betsy DeVos meets with public school students 1.2917 0.05212 120 92 21 7
1988 Well it appears Dante forgot to mention this circle of Hell. 1.2917 0.04936 120 90 25 5
1989 It's a hell-of a ride. 1.2917 0.05212 120 92 21 7
1990 Don't forget to wash your hands. 1.2917 0.05345 120 93 19 8
1991 How much worse can it be? 1.2917 0.04644 120 88 29 3
1992 We all just got fired 1.2917 0.05076 120 91 23 6
1993 I warned you. Don't criticize the President. 1.2913 0.04887 127 96 25 6
1994 Hey Karen, there's plenty of room if you want to join us! We'll be seeing you down here anyway. 1.2913 0.05137 127 98 21 8
1995 See ya! We are going down in flames! 1.2913 0.05013 127 97 23 7
1996 The trick is to lean into it. 1.2903 0.05092 124 95 22 7
1997 Everybody, this is Beth, our new associate. She just passed the Bar! 1.2901 0.05139 131 102 20 9
1998 I thought I pressed UP 1.2893 0.04758 121 90 27 4
1999 . “Hellivator.” 1.2893 0.05306 121 94 19 8
2000 On second thought, maybe I’ll take the stairs” 1.2893 0.05174 121 93 21 7
2001 I'll just take the next one 1.2893 0.04901 121 91 25 5
2002 Hell is other people in an elevator. 1.2893 0.05306 121 94 19 8
2003 No, the highway to hell is outside. This is the elevator to an in person meeting that could just have been an email. 1.2893 0.04901 121 91 25 5
2004 I guess I’ll take the stairs 1.2893 0.05040 121 92 23 6
2005 Dante’s Tenth Floor 1.2893 0.05174 121 93 21 7
2006 The CEO asked if we could take the heat for him. 1.2893 0.05306 121 94 19 8
2007 This elevator is for Executives Only" 1.2893 0.05040 121 92 23 6
2008 I thought it would be funny to press all the buttons at once...” 1.2893 0.05306 121 94 19 8
2009 We're waiting to see if our fire tests come back positive" 1.2893 0.05306 121 94 19 8
2010 This is why I don't trust elevators that say the safety certificate is located at the front desk 1.2893 0.05040 121 92 23 6
2011 Just another Monday! 1.2893 0.05174 121 93 21 7
2012 Yes, this is Dante’s Inferno, but lobbyists for big oil check in on floor five.” 1.2893 0.05040 121 92 23 6
2013 We’ve decided to go in another direction. 1.2893 0.04758 121 90 27 4
2014 HR was also put in charge of sanitizing the building 1.2893 0.05306 121 94 19 8
2015 Did anyone else forget to wear deodorant?!” 1.2893 0.04901 121 91 25 5
2016 You must be new here." 1.2893 0.04758 121 90 27 4
2017 The elevator is now the preferred means of travel instead of the highway as part of Hell’s renewed focus on sustainability in 2020” 1.2893 0.05434 121 95 17 9
2018 Did you bring the bleach?” 1.2893 0.05174 121 93 21 7
2019 The stairway to heaven is the door on your right” 1.2893 0.05306 121 94 19 8
2020 Eve, thank GOD it's you... 1.2893 0.05040 121 92 23 6
2021 This is the elevator to eternal damnation, you want the elevator to the right” 1.2893 0.05040 121 92 23 6
2022 Hell is more of a journey than a destination." 1.2893 0.05174 121 93 21 7
2023 I’ll stay here... Trump is down there for sure! 1.2893 0.05174 121 93 21 7
2024 Oh hi Karen, well yes, it turns out the Good Intentions path was this elevator all along”. 1.2893 0.05040 121 92 23 6
2025 We hear you made partner!" 1.2893 0.04758 121 90 27 4
2026 That was one hot elevator pitch. 1.2893 0.04901 121 91 25 5
2027 But, hey, at least we’re all in this together” 1.2893 0.05174 121 93 21 7
2028 Sandra join us it’s the new cleanse for the virus, 10 minutes is all you need” 1.2893 0.04758 121 89 27 4
2029 Might wanna wait for the next car” 1.2893 0.04055 121 93 24 4
2030 you guys go ahead, I’ll take the stairs 1.2893 0.05306 121 94 19 8
2031 There is no elevator to hell. You have to take the corporate ladder. 1.2893 0.04901 121 91 25 5
2032 The coronavirus measures have been taken up a notch" 1.2893 0.05040 121 92 23 6
2033 No, no, don’t worry. I’ll take the next one, what with social distancing and all.” 1.2893 0.05306 121 94 19 8
2034 Oh, we can make room.” 1.2893 0.04901 121 91 25 5
2035 Just gonna stand there and watch me burn? 1.2893 0.04758 121 90 27 4
2036 The heat, generally speaking, kills this kind of virus. So that would be a good thing. 1.2893 0.05174 121 93 21 7
2037 After the elevator got stuck halfway, I busted out the whipped cream. Things got weird after that." 1.2893 0.04901 121 91 25 5
2038 The liberals say the social elevator is broken, so we are proving them wrong” 1.2893 0.05434 121 95 17 9
2039 Hell is outsourcing torture in light of social distancing.” 1.2893 0.04901 121 91 25 5
2040 No, no thanks, I’ll keep going down. I’d prefer not to hear another WhiteHouse press briefing.” 1.2893 0.05306 121 94 19 8
2041 Now that’s a hot flash! 1.2893 0.05174 121 93 21 7
2042 So that’s level B” 1.2893 0.04901 121 91 25 5
2043 I called for help but all the firefighters have a cough.” 1.2893 0.05306 121 94 19 8
2044 I was going to use the stairs anyways 1.2893 0.05040 121 92 23 6
2045 Don't take this one--someone pressed all the buttons. 1.2893 0.04901 121 91 25 5
2046 It’s not that bad. The cafeteria serves beer on Fridays. 1.2893 0.05040 121 92 23 6
2047 We've come to account for our sins. 1.2893 0.05174 121 93 21 7
2048 We're the new interns. 1.2893 0.04901 121 91 25 5
2049 If I were you, I wouldn't press H 1.2893 0.05306 121 94 19 8
2050 Get the hell out of here, Janet! 1.2893 0.05174 121 93 21 7
2051 The devil made us do it 1.2893 0.05174 121 93 21 7
2052 Does this floor have an ice machine? 1.2893 0.05040 121 92 23 6
2053 Actually, we don't mind the occasional draft 1.2893 0.04758 121 90 27 4
2054 This is what happens when they don’t skip the 13th floor. 1.2893 0.05306 121 94 19 8
2055 When they told me half the staff would be fired, I didn't think it would be this bad 1.2893 0.05306 121 94 19 8
2056 Don’t worry, it cools off around the seventh circle. 1.2893 0.04901 121 91 25 5
2057 Beware of the credit default swap. 1.2893 0.05174 121 93 21 7
2058 Push the UP button! 1.2893 0.04901 121 91 25 5
2059 It's cooler in the back. 1.2893 0.04901 121 90 25 5
2060 I should've worked from home. 1.2893 0.05174 121 93 21 7
2061 Well, it sure isn't the stairway to heaven. 1.2893 0.05174 121 93 21 7
2062 Seriously? Does it look like we're going up? 1.2893 0.05434 121 95 17 9
2063 Tell Frank his reservations about a new performance evaluation program were valid. 1.2893 0.05040 121 94 20 7
2064 You guys really got the shaft! 1.2893 0.04901 121 91 25 5
2065 For being in an elevator and not staying six feet apart. 1.2893 0.05040 121 92 23 6
2066 Going down...eternally! 1.2893 0.05174 121 93 21 7
2067 I wish I could say ‘up’ 1.2893 0.05174 121 93 21 7
2068 Karen knew the pandemic was bad when the tax department became a regular part of her erotic fantasies 1.2893 0.05306 121 94 19 8
2069 Essential workers. Thanks for asking. 1.2893 0.04758 121 90 27 4
2070 We're full. 1.2893 0.04459 121 88 31 2
2071 1) The sign clearly said: in case of fire do not use the elevator.2 1.2893 0.04901 121 91 25 5
2072 Welcome to the first circle of hell. Limbo. 1.2893 0.04901 121 91 25 5
2073 Please take the stairs in the event of a fire. 1.2893 0.04758 121 90 27 4
2074 I know what you're thinking, this is not social distancing! 1.2893 0.04901 121 91 25 5
2075 Sorry, yes, going down. 1.2893 0.04758 121 90 27 4
2076 Task Force finale by Goethe 1.2893 0.05040 121 92 23 6
2077 We only stop for lawyers. 1.2893 0.04901 121 91 25 5
2078 I think I’m gonna take the stairs. 1.2893 0.05040 121 92 23 6
2079 7th Floor; Hades Lingerie 1.2893 0.05434 121 95 17 9
2080 How far down does this elevator go? 1.2893 0.05306 121 94 19 8
2081 I guess I'll take the stairway to Heaven. 1.2893 0.05174 121 93 21 7
2082 HR's on the fourth floor; we're headed down to legal. 1.2893 0.04901 121 91 25 5
2083 Don’t worry! The heat protects against the virus. 1.2893 0.05040 121 92 23 6
2084 No, purgatory is the car to your right. 1.2893 0.05040 121 92 23 6
2085 When we wanted to go down, we had no idea! 1.2893 0.04758 121 90 27 4
2086 It's not coming back up. 1.2893 0.05174 121 93 21 7
2087 The stairway to heaven might be slower, but in the long run you'll be happier. 1.2893 0.04901 121 91 25 5
2088 If you would be so kind to push the up button. 1.2893 0.05040 121 92 23 6
2089 Sure at first, but you get used to it. 1.2893 0.04901 121 91 25 5
2090 Don't keep hitting the button. Seriously. 1.2893 0.05040 121 92 23 6
2091 I know, I know. We're not doing a good job with social distancing. 1.2893 0.04611 121 89 29 3
2092 It's hell when the elevator stops mid-floor. 1.2893 0.04901 121 91 25 5
2093 You guys going down to Legal or HR? 1.2893 0.05040 121 92 23 6
2094 Can you take the next one? We’re going down in flames. 1.2893 0.05040 121 92 23 6
2095 No, this is Nestle. Facebook is even further down. 1.2893 0.04901 121 91 25 5
2096 I thought the stairs burned calories. 1.2893 0.05174 121 93 21 7
2097 P button is for purgatory, not parking. 1.2893 0.04611 121 89 29 3
2098 We're not all former Trump aides. 1.2893 0.05040 121 92 23 6
2099 I’d take the next one. Karen just pushed ALL the buttons, didn’t you Karen? 1.2893 0.04758 121 90 27 4
2100 This hotel has really gone to hell. 1.2893 0.04611 121 89 29 3
2101 You're looking for the stairway to heaven? Back down the hall, first door to the left. 1.2893 0.04901 121 91 25 5
2102 Oh God, sorry wrong floor! 1.2893 0.04901 121 91 25 5
2103 I take it they denied my appeal? 1.2893 0.05040 121 92 23 6
2104 I knew building management was going to hell. 1.2893 0.05040 121 92 23 6
2105 It's not bad, but the alarm bell is really annoying. 1.2893 0.04611 121 94 21 6
2106 Actually, there is one floor below “lobby” 1.2893 0.05174 121 93 21 7
2107 It's a theme party lift. Naked or KKK your choice. 1.2893 0.04901 121 91 25 5
2108 Got the shaft too? 1.2893 0.05434 121 95 17 9
2109 HR calls it baptism by fire... 1.2893 0.04901 121 91 25 5
2110 Any news on my request for a promotion? 1.2893 0.04901 121 91 25 5
2111 Jerry called. Our performance reviews are in. 1.2893 0.05174 121 93 21 7
2112 This doesn't go up. 1.2893 0.05040 121 92 23 6
2113 Myrna, when you said I was going straight to Hell, you weren’t kidding were you. 1.2893 0.05040 121 92 23 6
2114 This is the disservice elevator. 1.2893 0.05040 121 92 23 6
2115 Deb, before you get in, could you be a doll and hit the "Up" button? 1.2893 0.04758 121 90 27 4
2116 I would definitely recommend the stairs. 1.2893 0.05174 121 93 21 7
2117 So it will take forever for the next car. 1.2893 0.05174 121 93 21 7
2118 Up, please. And water. 1.2893 0.04901 121 91 25 5
2119 There's a convenient satellite branch near every major law firm. 1.2893 0.05306 121 94 19 8
2120 It may look like hell, but there's no social distancing here! 1.2893 0.05434 121 95 17 9
2121 Heaven? You need to take the stairway! 1.2893 0.04901 121 91 25 5
2122 No mask? No problem. Jump right in! 1.2893 0.04901 121 91 25 5
2123 Getting fired at trump tower is no joke 1.2893 0.05559 121 96 15 10
2124 It's called middle management. 1.2893 0.04901 121 91 25 5
2125 Yes, we are going down. Why do you ask? 1.2893 0.04901 121 91 25 5
2126 We've got two criminal attorneys, Barb was Family Law and Bill here did Corporate. 1.2893 0.05174 121 93 21 7
2127 Is this floor 2019? No, sorry, this is floor 2020. 1.2891 0.05101 128 99 21 8
2128 Careful, the slope is slippery. 1.2891 0.04726 128 96 27 5
2129 When they said "heat rises," this wasn't what I was expecting. 1.2891 0.04979 128 97 23 7
2130 You gotta take elevators 9 or 10 to get to the seventh circle. These only go to circles one through four. 1.2891 0.04594 128 95 29 4
2131 It's okay, I'll wait" 1.2881 0.05658 118 94 14 10
2132 Oh, don’t worry, we chose to be in here. It seemed more pleasant than trying to survive 2020 right now. 1.2881 0.05121 118 90 22 6
2133 A visual representation of entering a zoom call 1.2881 0.05396 118 92 18 8
2134 I guess I'll save my elevator pitch for later." 1.2881 0.04677 118 87 28 3
2135 You might want to wait for the next one.” 1.2881 0.04754 118 95 15 8
2136 Are you staring up my skirt, Mark?! 1.2881 0.04977 118 89 24 5
2137 Is this what Dante meant?” 1.2881 0.05260 118 91 20 7
2138 You want legal? Same floor 1.2881 0.04977 118 89 24 5
2139 You need to take the stairway if you are looking to get into heaven.. 1.2881 0.05121 118 90 22 6
2140 Uhh, they told us this was part of the reopening plan.” 1.2881 0.05260 118 91 20 7
2141 Close the door Karen, you’re letting out all the hot air!” 1.2881 0.04977 118 89 24 5
2142 The waiting room is full. 1.2881 0.04520 118 86 30 2
2143 Welcome to floor 2020 1.2881 0.05121 118 90 22 6
2144 Opposite Day: In case of fire, use elevator” @layla_rona 1.2881 0.05396 118 92 18 8
2145 I knew I’d go there one day, but I never thought it would come to me first” 😜 1.2881 0.05260 118 91 20 7
2146 Can you please tell Johnson I’m not going to make his three o’clock. 1.2881 0.04830 118 88 26 4
2147 I told them hand sanitizer is INflammable...is Mary Norris on this floor?” 1.2881 0.04977 118 89 24 5
2148 Hey Jill, squeeze on in.” 1.2881 0.00851 118 94 24 0
2149 It’s fine, we’re just disinfecting ourselves. 1.2881 0.04677 118 87 28 3
2150 You got furloughed too, Janet? Hop in, we’re all headed to HR.” 1.2881 0.04977 118 89 24 5
2151 We’re not on fire. You’re on fire.” 1.2881 0.05260 118 91 20 7
2152 Maybe you should take the stairs. 1.2881 0.04830 118 88 26 4
2153 Trump Tower - MTV Cribs episode. 1.2881 0.05396 118 92 18 8
2154 “Too soon” 1.2881 0.04357 118 90 24 4
2155 ....And here I thought I was already in hell. 1.2881 0.04977 118 89 24 5
2156 Better wait for the next one 1.2881 0.05121 118 90 22 6
2157 Hot? Yes, but on the plus side there are no social distancing requirements.” 1.2881 0.04977 118 89 24 5
2158 Unless you're going to "L", I'd wait for another car. 1.2881 0.05529 118 93 16 9
2159 And you thought taking the stairs was hell? 1.2881 0.05121 118 90 22 6
2160 Sorry, no room. 1.2881 0.05260 118 91 20 7
2161 Thank God I'm going up. 1.2881 0.05121 118 90 22 6
2162 Can you call maintenance? 1.2881 0.05529 118 93 16 9
2163 This is the local. It stops at all nine levels. 1.2881 0.05529 118 93 16 9
2164 Hi Mary, welcome to the Board of Directors meeting, sorry for the sulfur smell. 1.2881 0.04977 118 88 24 5
2165 This is what happens to lazy people. I am gonna take the stairs. 1.2881 0.05260 118 91 20 7
2166 Let me guess, lawyer? 1.2881 0.05260 118 91 20 7
2167 Looking for the Kock Industry offices? Hop in! 1.2881 0.04977 118 89 24 5
2168 This is for CEO's only. 1.2881 0.05121 118 90 22 6
2169 Sorry, I'm just not dressed for it 1.2881 0.05121 118 90 22 6
2170 Beats all those Zoom meetings. 1.2881 0.05260 118 91 20 7
2171 Ma’am, this is only purgatory. We should be back up soon. ! 1.2881 0.05121 118 90 22 6
2172 You'd be better off using the stairs. 1.2881 0.04520 118 86 30 2
2173 Welcome to the 1%! Going down? 1.2881 0.04977 118 89 24 5
2174 You might consider waiting for the next one. 1.2881 0.04677 118 87 28 3
2175 THIS IS PR, HR IS ON THE 5TH FLOOR MA'AM 1.2881 0.04977 118 89 23 5
2176 This, or another day at home. Give me a minute. 1.2881 0.05260 118 91 20 7
2177 I'd suggest waiting for the next one. 1.2881 0.05121 118 90 22 6
2178 Stand six feet away! 1.2881 0.05260 118 91 20 7
2179 Social distancing is Hell. 1.2881 0.03919 118 90 25 3
2180 You’re in the right place. We’ve recently replaced the seven gates with the elevators. 1.2881 0.04830 118 88 26 4
2181 It doesn't go up. We tried. 1.2881 0.05396 118 92 18 8
2182 It's business class hell. 1.2881 0.05396 118 92 18 8
2183 Come on in - at least its safe here - the heat kills the virus 1.2881 0.05396 118 92 18 8
2184 Oh, so this is the building where hell on earth is. 1.2881 0.05121 118 90 22 6
2185 Where is Trump? 1.2881 0.05396 118 92 18 8
2186 Going down actually... 1.2881 0.05260 118 91 20 7
2187 I wish! No, we're going down. 1.2881 0.05260 118 91 20 7
2188 There’s a case of bottled water on the table behind you — would you mind? 1.2881 0.04830 118 88 26 4
2189 Nah, women’s wear is on 3 1.2881 0.04977 118 88 24 5
2190 'Just to see what's down there,' is NOT reason enough to press B. 1.2881 0.04830 118 93 18 7
2191 The hellivator is broken again. 1.2881 0.05396 118 92 18 8
2192 Come on in, there's room. There's always room. 1.2881 0.04830 118 88 26 4
2193 Apparently the penthouse is heaven. 1.2881 0.04977 118 89 24 5
2194 Taking the stairs only burns calories. 1.2881 0.05121 118 90 22 6
2195 OK Governor I’ll stay at home! 1.2869 0.05137 122 94 21 7
2196 I’d take the stairs if I were you” 1.2869 0.05004 122 93 23 6
2197 Does this mean the 10 o’clock meeting is canceled? 1.2869 0.05137 122 94 21 7
2198 Furloughed, fired...what’s the difference? 1.2869 0.05137 122 94 21 7
2199 I really thought this would have been a hand-basket.” 1.2869 0.04866 122 92 25 5
2200 It was at that moment Susan decided a career change might be good for her.” 1.2869 0.05137 122 94 21 7
2201 Well, you could take the next car, but I doubt you’ll find anyone as hot as me in there. 1.2869 0.05267 122 95 19 8
2202 So uhh... how bout them knicks?” 1.2869 0.04725 122 91 27 4
2203 I gather this is the fire exit? 1.2869 0.05004 122 93 23 6
2204 Our company has a strict firewall. 1.2869 0.04866 122 92 25 5
2205 Is it only Monday? 1.2869 0.05004 122 93 23 6
2206 Are you Trump's newest attorney? Welcome to the Trump Administration! 1.2869 0.05137 122 94 21 7
2207 Can you call Harold? We're supposed to be in Purgatory by 3:00 1.2869 0.05395 122 96 17 9
2208 Didn’t anyone tell you? New York is hell right now. 1.2869 0.04725 122 91 27 4
2209 Facebook or Google? 1.2869 0.04866 122 92 25 5
2210 I think you want the other one. 1.2869 0.05137 122 94 21 7
2211 You probably thought the commute was hell. 1.2869 0.05395 122 96 17 9
2212 Sorry, we're going down in flames, not up. 1.2869 0.05137 122 94 21 7
2213 Get back to work or they'll fire you too! 1.2869 0.05004 122 93 23 6
2214 Now that you're on staff you can forget what they told you when they hired you 1.2868 0.04946 129 99 23 7
2215 Hey, do you think we look HOT? 1.2868 0.05185 129 101 19 9
2216 No, the other elevator bank is for Circles 1 through 5. 1.2868 0.04946 129 99 23 7
2217 It’s important that we try to maintain business as usual during these trying times.” 1.2857 0.04941 119 90 24 5
2218 I knew I should have continued working from home 1.2857 0.04488 119 92 22 5
2219 Hell of a way to start a Tuesday...” 1.2857 0.04644 119 87 28 3
2220 Tell me again how my fear of buildings with a 13th floor is a 'silly superstition', Diane!" 1.2857 0.04941 119 90 24 5
2221 How to make a killer elevator pitch 1.2857 0.05356 119 93 18 8
2222 Hop in, there's room." 1.2857 0.04795 119 89 26 4
2223 Karen, could you let everyone in the conference room know we'll be a minute?" 1.2857 0.04795 119 89 26 4
2224 My sons third grade math was way harder than this 1.2857 0.04644 119 88 28 3
2225 „Did you hear? There‘s a fire in the elevator.“ 1.2857 0.05222 119 92 20 7
2226 Oh yeah, we’re going down. 1.2857 0.04644 119 88 28 3
2227 The 13th floor isn't missing anymore. 1.2857 0.05083 119 91 22 6
2228 Abandon all hope, ye who enter here. Or take the stairs. 1.2857 0.04941 119 90 24 5
2229 Oh! I thought I was already there. 1.2857 0.05083 119 91 22 6
2230 Lois, we can take it up with HR later this afternoon, but right now I really need you to pee on me. 1.2857 0.05083 119 91 22 6
2231 Pardon me, but do you have any Grey Poupon? 1.2857 0.05083 119 91 22 6
2232 Oh, a Covfefe of Covidiots, thanks but I'll take the next elevator. 1.2857 0.05083 119 91 22 6
2233 We can always make room for one more. 1.2857 0.04795 119 89 26 4
2234 We just got audited. 1.2846 0.04790 130 99 25 6
2235 Hey guys, how’s it going in the Drug Pricing department? 1.2845 0.05585 116 92 15 9
2236 Orientation? No, you want H.R. on the floor above. This is the Legal Dept. 1.2845 0.04868 116 87 25 4
2237 Up to the Seventh Circle? 1.2845 0.05167 116 89 21 6
2238 that's ok, I'll get the next one! 1.2845 0.05020 116 88 23 5
2239 I thought I was already in hell.” 1.2845 0.05020 116 88 23 5
2240 Uhhh...well yeah...going down. 1.2845 0.04711 116 86 27 3
2241 Good Lord, It’s My old flame 1.2845 0.04868 116 87 25 4
2242 Looks like fun but I'll wait for the next elevator. 1.2845 0.05310 116 90 19 7
2243 Do you have any toilet paper in your bag? 1.2845 0.05020 116 88 23 5
2244 The lyin', loser Fire Department told us to use the stairs! 1.2845 0.05310 116 90 19 7
2245 Marshmallow whip. What did you think it was? 1.2845 0.05449 116 91 17 8
2246 Thank you but I'm going up! 1.2845 0.04711 116 86 27 3
2247 Abandon all hope as we head down to accounting. 1.2845 0.04868 116 87 25 4
2248 Please call maintenance; we're stuck between Heaven and Hell. 1.2845 0.05167 116 88 21 6
2249 Did you push the button for the hellevator? 1.2845 0.05020 116 88 23 5
2250 Elevator to Hell," Led Zepplin's less successful song 1.2845 0.05310 116 90 19 7
2251 You don't look too hot yourself! 1.2845 0.05167 116 89 21 6
2252 So much for good intentions 1.2845 0.05310 116 90 19 7
2253 Yeah my elevator pitch went down in flames. 1.2845 0.05449 116 91 17 8
2254 You either get 'Screams of the Damned' or 'The Girl from Ipanema.' 1.2845 0.05310 116 90 19 7
2255 Please hit the UP button, for heaven’s sake! 1.2845 0.05167 116 89 21 6
2256 What do you mean,"Going up?"? 1.2845 0.04868 116 87 25 4
2257 This is going to be one hell of a ride ! 1.2833 0.04611 120 89 28 3
2258 Hey Susie. What’s up?” 1.2833 0.04761 120 90 26 4
2259 Did you receive your essential employee pay? . 1.2833 0.05046 120 92 22 6
2260 You are just being sarcastic, right?! 1.2833 0.04906 120 91 24 5
2261 Karen regretted not taking the Stairway to Heaven 1.2821 0.05128 117 90 21 6
2262 President Trump thanks you for your continued support. Signed MAGA hats are waiting for you in the lobby” 1.2821 0.05408 117 92 17 8
2263 An adhoc meeting of the court evangelicals. 1.2821 0.05674 117 94 13 10
2264 Neither the place, nor the time, Gary!” 1.2821 0.04982 117 89 23 5
2265 Well get in, it can't be any worse" 1.2821 0.05270 117 91 19 7
2266 Sorry, this is the elevator for the IT Department 1.2821 0.05128 117 90 21 6
2267 What do you get when you put a bunch of political leaders in an elevator?” 1.2821 0.05674 117 94 13 10
2268 ‘FREE AMERICA NOW’ 1.2821 0.05270 117 91 19 7
2269 “Should I get HR?” 1.2821 0.05270 117 91 19 7
2270 Now do you believe in Global Warming??! 1.2821 0.05270 117 91 19 7
2271 I think I’ll take the stairway to heaven instead. 1.2821 0.05128 117 90 21 6
2272 Ooops....wrong floor. We wanted B666. 1.2821 0.05128 117 90 21 6
2273 Don't work here. 1.2821 0.05543 117 93 15 9
2274 Fired? Well, first we got shafted. 1.2821 0.05128 117 90 21 6
2275 Honest Inspector, we are 6 degrees of separation. 1.2821 0.04677 117 87 27 3
2276 Oh, I can see this one is going down. I was going up. 1.2821 0.04982 117 89 23 5
2277 Ms. Johnson, being an executive means making sacrifices. 1.2821 0.04677 117 87 27 3
2278 Well hell.... 1.2821 0.04982 117 89 23 5
2279 Yes Marge, this is your personal hell, and where's your mask? 1.2821 0.05128 117 90 21 6
2280 Still better than the stairs in these heels. 1.2821 0.04982 117 89 23 5
2281 Can you call building maintenance? My cell phone has overheated. 1.2821 0.04832 117 88 25 4
2282 Are you a Karen? We're currently only accepting Karens. You look like a Karen. 1.2821 0.04982 117 89 23 5
2283 We've just been to hell and back. 1.2821 0.04832 117 88 25 4
2284 Being stuck between floors IS hell. 1.2812 0.04953 128 99 22 7
2285 I guess none of my emails have been finding you well after all” 1.2807 0.05214 114 88 20 6
2286 I was too lazy to take the stairway to heaven 1.2807 0.05503 114 90 16 8
2287 Oh wow! Hey everyone, Diane actually showed up!” 1.2807 0.05214 114 88 20 6
2288 ‘We are all in this together’ 1.2807 0.05063 114 87 22 5
2289 Before you panic, think about the economy” 1.2807 0.05361 114 89 18 7
2290 Did you need a lawyer?" 1.2807 0.05214 114 88 20 6
2291 I'd suggest the stairs 1.2807 0.05214 114 88 20 6
2292 All I did was hit “send” on that Global Recipe Exchange email. 1.2807 0.04907 114 86 24 4
2293 « I didn’t mute my mic. » 1.2807 0.04907 114 86 24 4
2294 The “down” button sticks sometimes. 1.2807 0.04746 114 85 26 3
2295 No, Thanks. I just came from there." 1.2807 0.05063 114 87 22 5
2296 BOB! CALL MAINTENANCE THEY’RE BACK AGAIN” 1.2807 0.05063 114 87 22 5
2297 This goes to the “reply all” floor 1.2807 0.05361 114 89 18 7
2298 No, this is going to the 13th floor.” 1.2807 0.05063 114 87 22 5
2299 Well, I guess I’ll take the strairs then” 1.2807 0.05063 114 87 22 5
2300 Hey! Six feet apart!” 1.2807 0.05361 114 89 18 7
2301 Honestly, it seems safer in here than out there 1.2807 0.04907 114 86 24 4
2302 Wow, I know they said it was hell down on the fifth floor, but still" 1.2807 0.05214 114 88 20 6
2303 I think I'll take the next one" 1.2807 0.04907 114 86 24 4
2304 And that’s what hot flashes in quarantine look like! 1.2807 0.05643 114 91 14 9
2305 Hold it, David! That's Janet from HR. She's definitely getting on." 1.2807 0.05063 114 87 22 5
2306 Up! Up! Push the up button! 1.2807 0.05361 114 89 18 7
2307 THE OTHER ONE PLAYS MUZAK 1.2807 0.05214 114 88 20 6
2308 Ma’am, could you please call maintenance? The hellevator seems to be stuck. 1.2807 0.05361 114 89 18 7
2309 If you want heaven, take the stairway. 1.2807 0.05361 114 89 18 7
2310 And you thought that meeting you just completed was hell. 1.2807 0.04580 114 84 28 2
2311 This car is reserved for insurance company lawyers. 1.2807 0.05503 114 90 16 8
2312 No, this elevator isn't going up. 1.2807 0.04907 114 86 24 4
2313 We should have pressed "door open" when someone was coming. 1.2807 0.05063 114 87 22 5
2314 Can I bother you for a cup of ice water? 1.2807 0.05503 114 90 16 8
2315 Our emergency preparedness drill is producing suboptimal results. 1.2807 0.05063 114 87 22 5
2316 There's hell to pay when someone pushes all the floor buttons 1.2807 0.05063 114 87 22 5
2317 Lawyer? 1.2807 0.05361 114 89 18 7
2318 People in hell want escalators 1.2807 0.05214 114 88 20 6
2319 Going down to the depths of hell - and you thought we were already there... 1.2807 0.05063 114 87 22 5
2320 The woman I strangled has those same shoes. 1.2807 0.05643 114 91 14 9
2321 The alternative's overrated, too. 1.2807 0.04746 114 85 26 3
2322 the real torture is losing signal when the doors close. 1.2807 0.05361 114 89 18 7
2323 Did you even read my return to work plan? 1.2807 0.05214 114 88 20 6
2324 What really gets to me is the music. 1.2807 0.05214 114 88 20 6
2325 Guess we should have taken the Stairway to Heaven. 1.2807 0.05361 114 89 18 7
2326 Close the door, you're letting all the heat out! 1.2807 0.05063 114 87 22 5
2327 Do you have the antibodies? 1.2807 0.05063 114 87 22 5
2328 You should take the stairway to heaven. 1.2807 0.04907 114 86 24 4
2329 Didn't make your sales quota? 1.2807 0.05214 114 88 20 6
2330 Dammit, can we just dispense with the exit interviews? 1.2807 0.05214 114 88 20 6
2331 We insisted on reclining our seats in the coach section of flights 1.2807 0.04746 114 85 26 3
2332 Obviously you don't know your Led Zeppelin hits. 1.2807 0.05063 114 87 22 5
2333 Is THIS going to be covered by our health insurance?? 1.2807 0.05361 114 89 18 7
2334 Do not under any circumstances press the "Down" button. 1.2807 0.04907 114 85 24 4
2335 We had to expand our space. For efficiency, though, we're just using Trump properties. 1.2807 0.05503 114 90 16 8
2336 It's that darn marshmallow sales lady again. 1.2807 0.05643 114 91 14 9
2337 Social distancer gone rogue 1.2807 0.04907 114 86 24 4
2338 I suggest taking the Stairway to Heaven 1.2807 0.05503 114 90 16 8
2339 So this is where they keep the employees who reply all” 1.2797 0.04946 118 90 23 5
2340 Are you with elevator maintenance by any chance. 1.2797 0.05501 118 94 15 9
2341 Did my trainer put you up to this? 1.2797 0.05367 118 93 17 8
2342 We called a meeting for something that should have been an email" 1.2791 0.04919 129 100 22 7
2343 Don’t forget your face mask” 1.2783 0.04870 115 87 24 4
2344 I thought you would never show up. Take me away from this hell! 1.2783 0.05319 115 90 18 7
2345 Now that’s what I call going down in flames! 1.2783 0.04870 115 87 24 4
2346 How’d the meeting go?” 1.2783 0.04870 115 87 24 4
2347 Did you wash your hands? 1.2783 0.05174 115 89 20 6
2348 Godot? 1.2783 0.05319 115 90 18 7
2349 This is a hell of an elevator! 1.2783 0.05599 115 92 14 9
2350 How can I get any work done if I'm constantly putting out your fires? 1.2783 0.05319 115 90 18 7
2351 This is where we were when they said to shelter in place. 1.2783 0.04870 115 87 24 4
2352 Take the stairs, the elevator doesn't have a fire exit. 1.2783 0.05174 115 89 20 6
2353 This is human resources. Billing is two floors down. 1.2783 0.05174 115 89 20 6
2354 Jump in, not social-distancing is required on the purgatory level. 1.2783 0.05174 115 89 20 6
2355 Would you mind throwing another log on? 1.2783 0.05024 115 87 22 5
2356 Believe me, social distancing is the least of your worries down here!" 1.2783 0.05319 115 90 18 7
2357 I Fell Into A Burning Ring Of Fire I Went Down, Down, Down And The Flames Went Higher 1.2783 0.05024 115 88 22 5
2358 The PPP Loan Forgiveness Department is in the basement. 1.2769 0.04762 130 100 24 6
2359 ‘I didn’t realize “fire sale” meant we set all of sales on fire’ 1.2769 0.04886 130 101 22 7
2360 Could you ask John to check the smoke detector? I think it's broken. 1.2769 0.04370 130 97 30 3
2361 We didn’t know you’d been made a partner. Congrats and welcome! 1.2769 0.04886 130 101 22 7
2362 Miss, throw us some masks.” 1.2768 0.05262 112 86 19 6
2363 coming up, the place down there is freezing over 1.2768 0.05412 112 88 17 7
2364 The stairway to heaven is to the right. 1.2768 0.05412 112 88 17 7
2365 It’s Performance Appraisal Day 1.2759 0.05556 116 93 14 9
2366 Another one! Welcome to our Fired Happy Hour! 1.2759 0.05819 116 95 10 11
2367 Oh good, I was worried I'd have to make small talk 1.2759 0.04987 116 89 22 5
2368 I’m pretty sure this one is going down. 1.2759 0.04987 116 89 22 5
2369 Don't come in here. It's awkward. 1.2759 0.04987 116 89 22 5
2370 We all got fired... 1.2759 0.05556 116 93 14 9
2371 So you thought it was a hoax? Huh? 1.2752 0.05354 109 85 18 6
2372 This could have been an email 1.2743 0.04745 113 85 25 3
2373 Karen reconsidered elevating her complaint.” 1.2743 0.04909 113 86 23 4
2374 So...see you at lunch then? 1.2743 0.05067 113 87 21 5
2375 There are more important things than living” Lt. Gov. Dan Patrick 1.2743 0.05515 113 90 14 8
2376 They ran out of disinfectant spray so this is how they sanitize the elevators now” 1.2743 0.05515 113 90 15 8
2377 I told you we were getting the shaft, Sheila.” 1.2743 0.05067 113 87 21 5
2378 Hell is a crowded elevator.” 1.2743 0.05067 113 87 21 5
2379 Is this the elevator to Dante’s? - 1.2743 0.05221 113 88 19 6
2380 These "take-the-stairs" campaigns are getting intense. 1.2743 0.05221 113 88 19 6
2381 He said it would kill the germs." 1.2743 0.05370 113 89 17 7
2382 Are you headed to HR, too?” 1.2743 0.05221 113 88 19 6
2383 It's going to disappear. One day it's like a miracle, it will disappear”, President reassures. 1.2743 0.05221 113 88 19 6
2384 “Kills 100% of all illness causing germs.” 1.2743 0.05067 113 87 21 5
2385 Well, these beats a Trump presidency 1.2743 0.05370 113 89 17 7
2386 Why in hell don’t you join us? 1.2743 0.05067 113 87 21 5
2387 Its only weird if you ask. 1.2743 0.04745 113 85 25 3
2388 What in the hell are you looking at? 1.2743 0.05370 113 89 17 7
2389 I won't be able to get that report out, Brenda. The Marketing Department has gone to Hell. 1.2743 0.04399 113 83 29 1
2390 This one only goes down. 1.2743 0.05370 113 89 17 7
2391 You really need to ask? 1.2743 0.05067 113 87 21 5
2392 Wow”, when I said “go to hell” I didn’t think you’d listen 1.2743 0.04745 113 85 25 3
2393 In life, we never held the doors for anyone. 1.2743 0.05067 113 87 21 5
2394 This is the down elevator express. We only stop at floors with law firms. 1.2743 0.05067 113 87 21 5
2395 All hell broke loose the first Monday back 1.2743 0.05370 113 89 17 7
2396 Trust me on this, you want to wait for the Up elevator. 1.2743 0.05067 113 87 21 5
2397 Came up for more Brimstone. 1.2743 0.05221 113 86 19 6
2398 Now we're protesting building safety inspections." 1.2735 0.05096 117 91 20 6
2399 uh uhn, Susan, the hellelevator is for the laid off. The CEOs can take their golden parachutes out their windows. 1.2735 0.04798 117 89 24 4
2400 Hello Ms. Johnson. Are you ready for your first day in purchasing ? 1.2735 0.04798 117 89 24 4
2401 Yes, we would be interested in fire insurance. 1.2735 0.05096 117 91 20 6
2402 Sorry, but I told you about padding your expense reports. 1.2735 0.04562 117 90 23 4
2403 Welcome, the glass ceiling is gone 1.2735 0.04798 117 89 24 4
2404 Watch your step. It's hell down here. 1.2735 0.04949 117 90 22 5
2405 No, you probably want the one on the right. This is the hell-evator. 1.2735 0.05239 117 92 18 7
2406 Worrisome, yes, but our hair isn't on fire about it. 1.2734 0.05048 128 101 19 8
2407 when they said they were firing people to cut costs, this isn't what I expected 1.2727 0.04987 110 84 22 4
2408 So what is exactly your exit strategy? 1.2727 0.05466 110 87 16 7
2409 i’ll just take the stairway to heaven instead 1.2727 0.04817 110 83 24 3
2410 This party lit or what? 1.2727 0.04817 110 83 24 3
2411 We’re going down. Obvi. 1.2727 0.04987 110 84 22 4
2412 Let’s face it. I’m hot, you’re hot and we both know you got a crush on me 1.2727 0.04987 110 84 22 4
2413 We're pitching to investors while burning through their cash - it's more honest and straight to the point." 1.2727 0.05151 110 85 20 5
2414 I'll just take the stairway to heaven" 1.2727 0.04987 110 84 22 4
2415 Floor 2020 please 1.2727 0.05311 110 86 18 6
2416 Sorry, couples only." 1.2727 0.05763 110 89 12 9
2417 Oh your essential too?! Hop on!” 1.2727 0.04987 110 84 22 4
2418 Handbaskets are soooo last week. 1.2727 0.05466 110 87 16 7
2419 Sorry, this one's full. Everyone seems to be going down today." 1.2727 0.05151 110 85 20 5
2420 we opened too early 1.2727 0.05311 110 86 18 6
2421 Oh, it's time to use a social ladder 1.2727 0.05466 110 87 16 7
2422 No thanks. I am going up." 1.2727 0.05466 110 87 16 7
2423 It’s not ideal. But hell is the only place that is coronavirus free right now. 1.2727 0.05311 110 86 18 6
2424 “Taking the stairs is unconstitutional” 1.2727 0.05466 110 87 16 7
2425 Ugh, fire drill again. 1.2727 0.05311 110 86 18 6
2426 6ft apart 1.2727 0.05151 110 85 20 5
2427 Oh hey, Nancy - don’t worry, it’s only a couple of floors and then everything’ll go back to normal.” 1.2727 0.04987 110 84 22 4
2428 Senate returns to Capitol Hill amid coronavirus pandemic. 1.2727 0.05151 110 85 20 5
2429 Oh, MIT warned us: Reopening too soon could cause explosion of coronavirus! 1.2727 0.05151 110 85 20 5
2430 “I thought Hell’s Kitchen was just a district name..” 1.2727 0.05466 110 87 16 7
2431 They did say come to work at your own risk” 1.2727 0.05616 110 88 14 8
2432 it’s only up from here 1.2727 0.05616 110 88 14 8
2433 Carla seemed confused about the expression “down in flames” until this week. 1.2727 0.05311 110 86 18 6
2434 „What are you waiting for, Mrs. Adler? If you really want to take your career to the next level, you’ll need to be willing to take the heat.“ 1.2727 0.04987 110 84 22 4
2435 this makes sense now right?” 1.2727 0.04987 110 84 22 4
2436 Whatever you just did--undo it. 1.2727 0.05311 110 86 18 6
2437 Hell hath no fury like a woman denied a seat on the Board of Directors for the umpteenth time 1.2727 0.04987 110 84 22 4
2438 up or down in flames, Linda? 1.2727 0.05151 110 85 20 5
2439 As you can see, Trump elevators are the greatest elevators in the history of elevators. 1.2727 0.05466 110 87 16 7
2440 Heat rises but this is going down. 1.2727 0.05151 110 84 20 5
2441 Yeah, people are surprised that it's not at the center of the earth but right here in their office building elevator. 1.2727 0.04987 110 84 22 4
2442 The boss took the phrase 'you're fired' to a whole new level. 1.2727 0.05151 110 85 20 5
2443 Sorry, ma’am; occupancy by more than four sinners is dangerous and unlawful. 1.2727 0.05311 110 86 18 6
2444 We’re from marketing. 1.2727 0.05151 110 85 20 5
2445 We're all going to hell 1.2727 0.05466 110 87 16 7
2446 They told us we were doing a helluva job. 1.2727 0.05466 110 87 16 7
2447 Save yourself! Change parties no-o-o-o-w! 1.2727 0.05466 110 87 16 7
2448 I suppose you thought you were leaving a Hell hole. 1.2727 0.04987 110 84 22 4
2449 We're going up in flames. 1.2727 0.05616 110 85 13 8
2450 You’re in the wrong tower for raising hell. 1.2727 0.05311 110 86 18 6
2451 Welcome to the special place in Hell for people who press the elevator call button when it’s already lit up.” 1.2727 0.05311 110 86 18 6
2452 Down?" "No sorry, burning up, Ma'am! 1.2727 0.05466 110 87 16 7
2453 We do get health insurance. 1.2727 0.04987 110 84 22 4
2454 Tell Rudy I closed the deal... 1.2727 0.04640 110 82 26 2
2455 It's hell out here, Sharon. 1.2727 0.05151 110 85 20 5
2456 We thought it sounded interesting to test bringing the light inside of the body, which you can do either through the skin or in some other way, before moving on to injecting disinfectants. 1.2727 0.05466 110 87 15 7
2457 Yes...there's a special place in hell for those who refuse to sign birthday cards. 1.2727 0.05151 110 85 20 5
2458 For Heaven you need to take the stairway. 1.2727 0.04640 110 82 26 2
2459 Yes, we rejected Jesus too! 1.2727 0.05151 110 85 20 5
2460 Our NDAS prevent us telling you who we worked for. But it was trummmmmmp. 1.2727 0.05466 110 87 16 7
2461 For Betty, going to work was like hell. 1.2727 0.05151 110 85 20 5
2462 Ironically, I'm here for taking upskirt photos. 1.2727 0.04987 110 84 22 4
2463 The other elevator stops at high water. 1.2727 0.05151 110 85 20 5
2464 Quick, jump in! Danté will be here any minute - we yell ‘SURPRISE’ when the doors ping open.” 1.2719 0.05028 114 88 21 5
2465 Sorry, I didn't vote for Trump. 1.2719 0.05180 114 89 19 6
2466 y'all should really be wearing masks, you know" 1.2719 0.05028 114 88 21 5
2467 Oh, sorry, this elevator only goes down." 1.2719 0.05028 114 88 21 5
2468 He's saying fire is the new bleach" 1.2719 0.05180 114 89 19 6
2469 You know what? F it. I’m in. 1.2719 0.05328 114 90 17 7
2470 congrats, you’ve made it to the top of the corporate ladder. you’ve won an elevator ride down to hell. 1.2719 0.05328 114 90 17 7
2471 Wanna go up in flames or down in flames? 1.2719 0.05180 114 89 19 6
2472 Honestly, would jumping in here make your 2020 any worse than it already was? 1.2719 0.04709 114 86 25 3
2473 You are a tad overdressed . 1.2719 0.05180 114 89 19 6
2474 You're going down with the President too? 1.2719 0.05328 114 90 17 7
2475 Backup Hillary, not your lift, this is the GOP express to, well, you know where... 1.2719 0.05180 114 89 19 6
2476 It's just performance art. 1.2719 0.05180 114 89 19 6
2477 Better glass ceiling than eternal damnation... 1.2713 0.04766 129 100 23 6
2478 Where's the fire escape? 1.2713 0.04891 129 101 21 7
2479 Hey Carol, could you let the president know that reservations are looking pretty full. However we do have a cosy two bed in the seventh circle, we’ll just need the down payment of souls completed by November.” 1.2710 0.05874 107 87 11 9
2480 Is this another one of those ‘re-open the economy’ protests?” 1.2710 0.05069 107 82 21 4
2481 Going down in a blaze of glory” 1.2710 0.05240 107 83 19 5
2482 Come on in. There’s always room for one more. 1.2710 0.05405 107 84 17 6
2483 It’s not any better out here” 1.2710 0.05405 107 84 17 6
2484 Oh so *that’s* the alternative to glass ceilings” 1.2710 0.05566 107 85 15 7
2485 Hey, Susan, check out our new social distancing bubbles! 1.2710 0.05069 107 82 21 4
2486 We’re protesting for our freedom to NOT take stairs in case of fire.” 1.2710 0.04892 107 81 23 3
2487 Maybe it’s too much to ask, but could you hold the door?” 1.2710 0.05240 107 83 19 5
2488 This business is going down in flames. 1.2710 0.05069 107 82 21 4
2489 Basement level 4; Fire, Eternal Damnation, Women’s Shoes. 1.2710 0.05240 107 83 19 5
2490 We’re quite informal at Lawyers from Hell! 1.2710 0.04708 107 80 25 2
2491 And now she understood why the board of directors' office was in the basement. 1.2710 0.04517 107 79 27 1
2492 Yes, this is the down elevator! 1.2710 0.05069 107 82 21 4
2493 What the hell...Just get in!! 1.2710 0.04892 107 81 23 3
2494 Feels like summer 1.2710 0.05240 107 83 19 5
2495 That’s the least of our problems. We’ve got a couple talkers in here! 1.2710 0.05069 107 82 21 4
2496 I guess that depends on your definition of hell. 1.2710 0.05240 107 83 19 5
2497 We didn't give strangers personal space, not even in the good times 1.2710 0.05722 107 86 13 8
2498 I'm sorry, but we're waiting for someone more diverse. 1.2710 0.05405 107 84 17 6
2499 I'll be the highest bidder's attorney. 1.2710 0.05240 107 83 19 5
2500 We failed social distancing 1.2710 0.05405 107 84 17 6
2501 Come in !! We are on our way to Anti Lockdown protest.. 1.2703 0.04948 111 85 22 4
2502 Malkovich is back? 1.2703 0.04948 111 85 22 4
2503 And you thought work-from-home was hell 1.2703 0.05111 111 86 20 5
2504 Essential or nonessential?” 1.2703 0.05111 111 86 20 5
2505 Think I'll take the stairway to heaven..." 1.2703 0.05716 111 90 12 9
2506 It’s safe! The virus can’t survive fire!” 1.2703 0.04948 111 85 22 4
2507 On second thought, don’t hold the elevator. 1.2703 0.05571 111 89 14 8
2508 Oh, that's ok, I'll wait for the next one. 1.2703 0.04948 111 85 22 4
2509 We heard that heat can destroy the corona virus 1.2703 0.05422 111 88 16 7
2510 Come down. Lucifer doesn't make us wear masks OR social distance. 1.2703 0.05571 111 89 14 8
2511 "the sign says use STAIRS in case of fire" 1.2703 0.05571 111 89 14 8
2512 We’re making America great again. 1.2703 0.05857 111 91 10 10
2513 Hell is elevator people 1.2703 0.05269 111 87 18 6
2514 Sorry, this elevator is only for people who used to work in the West Wing. 1.2703 0.05111 111 86 20 5
2515 "We've been stuck here since someone pressed 666." 1.2703 0.05269 111 87 18 6
2516 Sorry, going down. 1.2703 0.05111 111 86 20 5
2517 This is the legal department, Human Resources is one floor up. 1.2703 0.05269 111 87 18 6
2518 Excuse me, but don't you have a mask? 1.2703 0.05111 111 86 20 5
2519 Dante's special level of Hell for people who press the door close button when someone is coming. 1.2703 0.05571 111 89 14 8
2520 The stairway to heaven's just down the hall. 1.2703 0.05422 111 88 16 7
2521 Definitely going DOWN. 1.2703 0.04948 111 85 22 4
2522 You've gotta take the stairway to heaven. 1.2703 0.05269 111 87 18 6
2523 Can you bring me an iced tea on your way back? 1.2703 0.05269 111 87 18 6
2524 Are you sure? It's hotter than hell in here! 1.2696 0.05287 115 91 17 7
2525 Could you get the door?” 1.2685 0.05520 108 86 15 7
2526 We were under the impression that bathing in a lake of fire kills the coronavirus.” 1.2685 0.04853 108 82 23 3
2527 Careful, we all thought the ‘P’ was for Parking, but apparently it’s Purgatory” 1.2685 0.05028 108 83 21 4
2528 What the hell. Room for one more? 1.2685 0.05197 108 84 19 5
2529 Is this Project Management or HR? 1.2685 0.05028 108 83 21 4
2530 Does it look like we need any help?” 1.2685 0.05520 108 86 15 7
2531 Hell, it’s hot in here!” 1.2685 0.00930 108 91 15 2
2532 Guess I'll take the stairs today 1.2685 0.05197 108 84 19 5
2533 I thought they were sending a handbasket. 1.2685 0.04853 108 82 23 3
2534 When he said we’d all go down in flames, we took him literally but not seriously. Our bad.” 1.2685 0.05197 108 84 19 5
2535 Even in a pit of despair, there’s always a light’ 1.2685 0.05197 108 84 18 5
2536 Bathing suit optional 1.2685 0.05197 108 84 19 5
2537 : “Are you the attorney we requested? We’d like to file a manufacturing defect class action.” 1.2685 0.05197 108 84 19 5
2538 Is this the executive elevator?” 1.2685 0.05028 108 83 21 4
2539 They say hell is other people. 1.2685 0.05197 108 84 19 5
2540 Hey Barb, you don’t happen to have a mask in that briefcase of yours?” 1.2685 0.05197 108 84 19 5
2541 Sorry Karen, we just don’t have room for your bullshit today.” 1.2685 0.04853 108 82 23 3
2542 Come on in. We've all been tested for COVID-19 so you have nothing to worry about." 1.2685 0.05028 108 83 21 4
2543 Well hello, Carol. Can we begin the budget meeting now? 1.2685 0.05028 108 83 21 4
2544 What are you looking at? This is what a great success story looks like." 1.2685 0.05197 108 84 19 5
2545 Look, guys! Lucy was fired, too! 1.2685 0.04853 108 82 23 3
2546 Honestly Karen, we should not have played with it. Wear a mask. 1.2685 0.05197 108 84 19 5
2547 Damn it Brad, I told you this should’ve been a zoom call.” 1.2685 0.05197 108 84 19 5
2548 Don’t worry; this is all part of Phase 1.” 1.2685 0.05520 108 86 15 7
2549 Is this one going up or down?” “Uh, neither. It’s stuck in the year 2020.” 1.2685 0.04853 108 82 22 3
2550 “This elevator music got us all fired up in here!” 1.2685 0.04482 108 80 27 1
2551 After you” 1.2685 0.04853 108 82 23 3
2552 I’ll take the window. 1.2685 0.05197 108 84 19 5
2553 So we thought, what the heck, we might as well come up here." 1.2685 0.05028 108 83 21 4
2554 But you got your stimulus checks, right?” 1.2685 0.05028 108 83 21 4
2555 It was at this moment that Janet realized she was on her way to the wrong “AA” meeting. 1.2685 0.04853 108 82 23 3
2556 Abandon all clothes, ye who enter here," 1.2685 0.05361 108 85 17 6
2557 Let me know if I can get a haircut down there! 1.2685 0.05197 108 84 19 5
2558 ‘No, no, we’re actually on our way back up from meeting the board of directors’ 1.2685 0.05197 108 84 19 5
2559 Going down. Level 4: Greed and avarice 1.2685 0.05028 108 83 21 4
2560 It gets worse, no one in here is wearing a mask!” 1.2685 0.05028 108 83 21 4
2561 Would you like a wet wipe? 1.2685 0.05028 108 83 21 4
2562 We thought we’d try to burn off the virus before heading home to our loved ones” 1.2685 0.05028 108 83 21 4
2563 Why did I get dressed today? 1.2685 0.04853 108 82 23 3
2564 I guess they weren’t kidding about social distancing 1.2685 0.05361 108 85 17 6
2565 This one enforces the weight capacity. 1.2685 0.05028 108 83 21 4
2566 Lower Level - Flames of Hell, Beelzebub and Old Nick. 1.2685 0.05028 108 83 21 4
2567 It's hell, lady, hell. But don't fret, purgatory should be right down. 1.2685 0.05361 108 85 17 6
2568 Come on in. Misery loves company. 1.2685 0.05361 108 85 17 6
2569 The other one has Muzak. We've got Little Richard. 1.2685 0.05520 108 86 15 7
2570 I'm going to Heaven, but it can't hurt to ride down with you first. 1.2685 0.04853 108 82 23 3
2571 Fine! I confess! I've lived a sinful life. Now will you please call the fire department? 1.2685 0.05028 108 83 21 4
2572 At least we can see our friends. 1.2685 0.05361 108 85 17 6
2573 Don’t worry about social distancing, we’re going down to hell anyway. 1.2685 0.05520 108 86 15 7
2574 We refused to engage in social distancing and now this...forever. 1.2685 0.04853 108 82 23 3
2575 We believe you are partnership material. Please think it over. 1.2685 0.05028 108 83 21 4
2576 Why no, it's not Hell. Why do you ask? 1.2685 0.05361 108 85 17 6
2577 ...And that concludes the end of our 'smokin' hot' elevator pitch. 1.2685 0.05028 108 83 21 4
2578 Closer than you think, Mary. Closer than you think. 1.2685 0.05028 108 83 21 4
2579 Yeah, you REALLY want to take the stairs. 1.2685 0.04853 108 82 23 3
2580 Come on in, you will be next anyway. 1.2685 0.05361 108 85 17 6
2581 Hey Karen, we have been to hell and back. 1.2685 0.05520 108 86 15 7
2582 You’ll want to mind the gap. 1.2685 0.05520 108 86 15 7
2583 My name is Louis Cypher I work for Dante Oil Futures 1.2685 0.05028 108 83 21 4
2584 Is this the President's idea? 1.2685 0.05197 108 84 19 5
2585 This is where HR sent us, too. 1.2685 0.05197 108 84 19 5
2586 That's nice art on the elevator doors, but a bit disturbing. 1.2685 0.05028 108 83 21 4
2587 Come on in, we're just a zoom background 1.2685 0.05197 108 84 19 5
2588 This elevator is lawyers only. You'll have to get the next one. 1.2685 0.05361 108 85 17 6
2589 Come in Carol, there is no virus here! 1.2685 0.05197 108 84 19 5
2590 For crying out loud, Esther. Lose the briefcase. 1.2685 0.05361 108 85 17 6
2591 Seriously? You're riding from the 2nd to the 1st floor? 1.2685 0.05361 108 85 17 6
2592 Dante's Intern-o 1.2685 0.05361 108 85 17 6
2593 We didn't hold the door. 1.2685 0.05520 108 86 15 7
2594 Suddenly, the stairs are an attractive option. 1.2685 0.05197 108 84 19 5
2595 The other elevator has small talk. Take your pick! 1.2685 0.05361 108 85 17 6
2596 Well, you've heard of the stairway to heaven haven't you? 1.2685 0.05520 108 86 15 7
2597 You might want to lose the wool jacket. The level for lawyers is usually pretty toasty. 1.2685 0.04763 108 86 17 5
2598 Come on, we’re in this together. 1.2685 0.05028 108 83 21 4
2599 Why yes, I do remember you from third grade, Tommy. I guess there is an Old Testament God, after all. 1.2685 0.05028 108 83 21 4
2600 We didn't realize that Down meant waaaaay Down! 1.2685 0.05197 108 84 19 5
2601 The road to hell is paved with good inventions. 1.2685 0.05028 108 83 21 4
2602 We overused the word synergy out of context. 1.2685 0.05197 108 84 19 5
2603 I guess that’s why they tell you to take the stairs. 1.2685 0.05028 108 83 21 4
2604 Hi Sandy. You were right, this could have just been a Zoom meeting. 1.2685 0.05028 108 83 21 4
2605 Stand back, we're having a fire drill. 1.2685 0.05197 108 83 19 5
2606 At least it’s Friday, am I right? 1.2685 0.04671 108 81 25 2
2607 Getting fired ain't what it used to be. 1.2685 0.05028 108 83 21 4
2608 Well, have you ever seen anyone go 'up' in flames? 1.2685 0.04853 108 82 23 3
2609 When the boss tells you to go STRAIGHT TO HELL watch out! 1.2679 0.05227 112 88 18 6
2610 Oh crap. Not again. 1.2672 0.04640 116 90 22 4
2611 Wow I need to get that zoom virtual background as well 1.2667 0.05112 105 81 20 4
2612 On second thought I think I will take the stairs.. 1.2667 0.05288 105 82 18 5
2613 So I guess you’re all fired?” 1.2667 0.05288 105 82 18 5
2614 Top management would like to express their eternal gratitudine for your essential work” 1.2667 0.05458 105 83 16 6
2615 “Oh my god no masks!” 1.2667 0.05288 105 82 18 5
2616 Are you my attorney? You’re late.” 1.2667 0.05112 105 81 20 4
2617 Protesting to demand our rights to take the elevator even if its on fire! 1.2667 0.05624 105 84 14 7
2618 Going down? I’ll wait for the next one 1.2667 0.05112 105 81 20 4
2619 We were told that the virus doesn’t like open flames.” 1.2667 0.05458 105 83 16 6
2620 One last thing: Next week lets do this over zoom 1.2667 0.05288 105 81 18 5
2621 Hey are we still on for lunch later?” 1.2667 0.05112 105 81 20 4
2622 is this what really happens when you press all the buttons?” 1.2667 0.05288 105 82 18 5
2623 This one’s only for employees who sold their souls to be here” 1.2667 0.05624 105 84 14 7
2624 You're allowed to wear shoes, though walking on the coals is a lot easier with flats than with those heels. 1.2667 0.05112 105 81 20 4
2625 You might consider taking the steps." 1.2667 0.04740 105 79 24 2
2626 This office party is on fire! 1.2667 0.05288 105 82 18 5
2627 I also couldn't resist pressing the 'down' button in the basement. 1.2667 0.05624 105 84 14 7
2628 Not so bad; it beats "shelter in place". 1.2667 0.05288 105 82 18 5
2629 We sold our soul for a raise 1.2667 0.05112 105 81 20 4
2630 Hell was getting too crowded, so they started renting the basements of Trump towers. 1.2667 0.05624 105 84 14 7
2631 Quick! Buy your Stairway to Heaven! 1.2667 0.05288 105 82 18 5
2632 This is the right one. The mask-wearers are in the other elevator heading up. 1.2667 0.05112 105 81 20 4
2633 New huh? This is the Hellevator, you'll want to use the doors to your right. 1.2667 0.05288 105 82 18 5
2634 You know when I'm in a tough spot like this I usually like to do some yoga to get my head right. 1.2667 0.05288 105 82 18 5
2635 Sorry, this is the express. 1.2667 0.04929 105 80 22 3
2636 Next stop, Hell, I mean Florida...” 1.2661 0.04814 109 83 23 3
2637 So, are you also going down?" 1.2661 0.04447 109 81 27 1
2638 It’s just 2020, you get used to it after awhile.” 1.2661 0.05317 109 86 17 6
2639 Lady, Hell is at an all new level these days 1.2661 0.05317 109 86 17 6
2640 I think I’m a bit over-dressed. 1.2661 0.05777 109 89 11 9
2641 It’s ok, I’ll catch the next one” 1.2661 0.05155 109 85 19 5
2642 Do you have a glass of water? 1.2661 0.05475 109 87 15 7
2643 This elevator is going down. 1.2661 0.05317 109 86 17 6
2644 And here I was thinking you went to hell in a hand basket.” 1.2661 0.04988 109 84 21 4
2645 I think I’ll just take the stairs.” 1.2661 0.04814 109 83 23 3
2646 It isn't that bad, it's hotter in Houston" 1.2661 0.05155 109 85 19 5
2647 Nah it’s ok— I’ll wait for the next one. I’m going to a different circle of hell anyways.” 1.2661 0.05155 109 85 19 5
2648 See, this is why we don’t have a 13th floor.” 1.2661 0.04351 109 88 16 5
2649 We went from corporate ladder to ecclesiastical shaft” 1.2661 0.05155 109 85 19 5
2650 Remember when our biggest fear was six more weeks of winter.” 1.2661 0.05155 109 85 19 5
2651 can you press 'up' for me?" 1.2661 0.04988 109 84 21 4
2652 Is this the stop for the covid task force? 1.2661 0.05317 109 86 17 6
2653 Lucille always thought that when her time came she'd be on the elevator going up. 1.2661 0.05155 109 85 19 5
2654 Well, I guess that pitch went down in flames... 1.2661 0.05317 109 86 17 6
2655 I can’t take the stairs in these heels!” 1.2661 0.04988 109 84 21 4
2656 Corporate Ladder 2.0: Hellevator 1.2661 0.03603 109 87 19 3
2657 I pressed that mysterious red button. Gonna press it again and see if that helps. 1.2661 0.05155 109 85 19 5
2658 We read -In High temperature, Covid-19 won't get transfered !! 1.2661 0.04988 109 84 21 4
2659 So this is what lobbying looks like." 1.2661 0.05155 109 85 19 5
2660 I finally figured out what the red emergency button does. 1.2661 0.04814 109 83 23 3
2661 Sorry, Amazon board meeting. All full." 1.2661 0.05155 109 85 19 5
2662 OMG,no one is wearing a mask....I guess I'll take the stairs 1.2661 0.05317 109 86 17 6
2663 Just another day with Trump as President, “going down?!” 1.2661 0.05628 109 88 13 8
2664 Oh good, you guys started without me.” 1.2661 0.05155 109 85 19 5
2665 It’s fine, Deborah, I heard online that the fire is down trending and we can all get in now!” 1.2661 0.05317 109 86 17 6
2666 So, where are you guys headed now that the quarantines been lifted? 1.2661 0.05475 109 87 15 7
2667 But who has time for the stairs? 1.2661 0.04988 109 84 21 4
2668 “That’s okay: I’ll wait for the express.” 1.2661 0.04988 109 84 21 4
2669 Welcome to the sanitized team-building room. Please keep social distancing and do not smoke 1.2661 0.05317 109 86 17 6
2670 You must be the newest whistleblower. Let’s get you sorted; hop in.” 1.2661 0.05155 109 85 19 5
2671 Be safe: stay a flame apart from one another.” 1.2661 0.04814 109 83 23 3
2672 “that meeting was the 7th circle...what floor is this?” 1.2661 0.04988 109 84 21 4
2673 New health protocol” 1.2661 0.05317 109 86 17 6
2674 Dante wasn’t corporate enough to discover the tenth circle of hell. 1.2661 0.05155 109 85 19 5
2675 I know, but the benefits are great.” 1.2661 0.05475 109 87 15 7
2676 Being stuck in an elevator between floors can be hellish. 1.2661 0.05155 109 85 19 5
2677 I used to have your job. You're better off down here. 1.2661 0.05155 109 85 19 5
2678 This one's reserved for people who lived in penthouses. 1.2661 0.04814 109 83 23 3
2679 Maybe this way would be quicker than going to Hell in a handbasket. 1.2661 0.04988 109 84 21 4
2680 I didn't vote for him! 1.2661 0.05475 109 87 15 7
2681 We didn't realize you were literally firing us. 1.2661 0.04988 109 84 21 4
2682 Great, they always said I'd be going to Hell for being a successful businesswoman. 1.2661 0.04634 109 82 25 2
2683 Please push the up button. 1.2661 0.04988 109 84 21 4
2684 No, you want the next one. This is the 'Trickle Down Economics' elevator to Hell. 1.2661 0.04988 109 84 21 4
2685 Come on in, its business casual! 1.2661 0.05317 109 86 17 6
2686 You have news of my appeal 1.2661 0.05155 109 85 19 5
2687 So I've already made it to hell. 1.2661 0.05317 109 86 17 6
2688 Corporate restructured the circles into floors. 1.2661 0.05155 109 85 19 5
2689 Thanks anyway, I will wait for the next car 1.2661 0.05317 109 86 17 6
2690 Welcome to working from home! 1.2661 0.05155 109 85 19 5
2691 If it's not too much trouble, could you press the up button? 1.2661 0.04988 109 84 21 4
2692 Heading down? 1.2661 0.04151 109 87 18 4
2693 Sorry, but we're full. Good luck at the 8:30 am meeting. 1.2661 0.05155 109 85 19 5
2694 Have we reached purgatory? 1.2661 0.05155 109 85 19 5
2695 So much for sheltering in place. 1.2661 0.05155 109 85 19 5
2696 I think I will wait for the next elevator 1.2661 0.05475 109 87 15 7
2697 Make America Great . . . and we did it our way. Burn baby burn rather than disinfect! 1.2661 0.05155 109 85 19 5
2698 Please social distance and take the next elevator down. 1.2661 0.05317 109 86 17 6
2699 First we said “Go to hell, Trump “. Then we said “Down with Trump”. Who knew they would happen at the same time? 1.2661 0.05475 109 87 15 7
2700 Ugh, mondays 1.2661 0.04814 109 83 23 3
2701 I guess I can finally catch up on all those old copies of The New Yorker. 1.2661 0.05155 109 85 19 5
2702 Don't take the promotion with a lifetime supply of heating when they offer it! 1.2661 0.05475 109 87 15 7
2703 This elevator is going much further down than the first floor! 1.2661 0.04988 109 84 21 4
2704 Just take the stairs, Diane 1.2661 0.05155 109 85 19 5
2705 When they threw in the free parking we couldn’t say no! 1.2661 0.04988 109 84 21 4
2706 We’ll send it right back up. 1.2661 0.05317 109 86 17 6
2707 Who knew what a biiiig deal it was to social-distance and wear face masks‽ 1.2661 0.05317 109 86 17 6
2708 We forgot to apply hand sanitizers too! 1.2661 0.05155 109 85 19 5
2709 And you thought working from home was hell 1.2661 0.04814 109 83 23 3
2710 We're waiting for Dr. Fauci. 1.2661 0.05317 109 86 17 6
2711 The Circle of Lawyers is further down.... 1.2661 0.05317 109 86 17 6
2712 Heaven is the elevator on your right. 1.2661 0.04988 109 84 21 4
2713 Always wondered what was below Ground. 1.2661 0.04634 109 82 25 2
2714 Our leader said heat helps, but we're feeling somewhat conflicted. 1.2661 0.04047 109 84 23 2
2715 The lawyer doesn't think she's going down. That's so cute. 1.2661 0.04988 109 84 21 4
2716 That's okay--I'll take the stairs. 1.2661 0.04988 109 84 21 4
2717 Maybe next time you will take the "why don't you go to hell" comments more seriously. 1.2661 0.05317 109 86 17 6
2718 ...and when you get out, put on a mask 1.2661 0.04814 109 83 23 3
2719 "I think it would be wise for you to wait for the next car! 1.2661 0.04988 109 84 21 4
2720 Investment bankers are on level four or eight. We're just idolaters. 1.2661 0.05317 109 86 17 6
2721 I guess it's obvious we're headed down. 1.2661 0.05155 109 85 19 5
2722 Yes, we're going down alright! 1.2661 0.05155 109 85 19 5
2723 It's been a hell of a ride down 1.2661 0.04988 109 84 21 4
2724 Yeah... we thought “hellevator” was metaphorical too. 1.2661 0.05155 109 85 19 5
2725 It's faster than the stairway to heaven. 1.2661 0.05628 109 88 13 8
2726 Um, you looking for the stairway to heaven? 1.2661 0.05155 109 85 19 5
2727 Inferno, level 4: Avarice and Prodigality.” 1.2650 0.04915 117 91 21 5
2728 That’s alright, I’ll catch the next one.” 1.2642 0.05576 106 85 14 7
2729 That’s what you get for going to the park with no mask on” 1.2642 0.05576 106 85 14 7
2730 It's not as bad as it looks. 1.2642 0.05244 106 83 18 5
2731 Honestly, it's not that hot" 1.2642 0.04702 106 80 24 2
2732 Hold that door... ahh never mind, I’ll catch the next one” 1.2642 0.05244 106 83 18 5
2733 This awkward silence is killing me.” 1.2642 0.04889 106 81 22 3
2734 Press briefing is this way. 1.2642 0.05412 106 84 16 6
2735 but it's a dry heat" 1.2642 0.05069 106 82 20 4
2736 Yeah, so I think we should have kept working from home.” 1.2642 0.04702 106 80 24 2
2737 C’mon in! Next stop: 2021” 1.2642 0.05069 106 82 20 4
2738 I knew hell was close, but I didn’t know I work here” 1.2642 0.05069 106 82 20 4
2739 Heading to rock bottom. Need anything?” 1.2642 0.05412 106 84 16 6
2740 Don’t worry, it’s an express. 1.2642 0.05244 106 83 18 5
2741 We're protesting the 'In Case of Fire, Use Stairs' directive." 1.2642 0.05069 106 82 20 4
2742 13th floor?” 1.2642 0.05412 106 84 16 6
2743 Where’s your masks?!?” 1.2642 0.05576 106 85 14 7
2744 No, no. This is the “hell-evator.” It’s going down lower than the lobby. 1.2642 0.05412 106 84 16 6
2745 Management feels this is more effective than a generic sign that says taking the stairs is better for your health and the environment. 1.2642 0.03862 106 86 16 4
2746 But other than that, Mrs. Lincoln, how was the play? 1.2642 0.05576 106 85 14 7
2747 Lucifer’s office? It’s just down the hall on the right. 1.2642 0.05412