Contest #707


Cartoon

707

The winning captions

These captions are chosen by The New Yorker.

  1. “Next week, I'll move Heaven for you.”
  2. “It’s mostly water weight.”
  3. “I'm not bringing work home anymore.”


Name Value
Submission deadline 2020-04-26T19:23:00.000Z
Voting started -
Voting ended 2020-05-10T19:25:00.000Z
Finalists announced 2020-05-04T19:24:00.000Z
Magazine(s) announcing finalists issued May 11, 2020
Number of captions 10718
Number of responses 1376223
Number of participants -


Dashboard

In this table, the "mean" means the empirically measured average funniness score when the "unfunny", "somewhat funny" and "funny" receive a funniness score of 1, 2, 3 respectively. "Precison" is the standard error of the mean, the standard deviation of the mean estimate. With that, a caption with an empirical mean μ and precision σ has true mean in the range [μ - 2σ, μ + 2σ] with 95% probability by the 68-95-99.7 rule assuming the responses are indepedent and identically distributed.

Rank Caption Mean Precision Total votes "Unfunny" votes "Somewhat funny" votes "Funny" votes
0 This was easier to carry when it was flat. 2.2073 0.00547 17899 3316 7556 7026
1 Next week I'll move Heaven for you. 2.1159 0.00596 16514 4007 6589 5915
2 It’s mostly water weight” 2.0952 0.00669 13072 3267 5297 4507
3 This was easier when the world was flat. 2.0471 0.00746 10689 2943 4301 3444
4 Because not everyone gets to work from home, Joyce 2.0031 0.00738 11469 3567 4300 3601
5 Apparently I'm deemed essential 1.9686 0.01058 5510 1790 2105 1615
6 I don’t ordinarily like to return things, but that one has some major issues.” 1.9598 0.00927 7368 2485 2694 2187
7 Does it look as though I can pick up some milk on the way home? 1.9249 0.01500 2824 1011 1014 799
8 ‘Well, actually, yes...it would be the end of the world if I took the day off.’ 1.9055 0.01136 4962 1846 1739 1377
9 It was a lot easier to carry when it was flat. 1.9050 0.01025 6034 2226 2155 1653
10 The world doesn't revolve around you, Helen. 1.8978 0.00781 9960 3591 3796 2571
11 Because I prefer it to the maps on my phone, that’s why. 1.8829 0.01036 5910 2262 2078 1570
12 Yes, I'm going out in these shoes. 1.8794 0.00900 7883 3056 2724 2102
13 Wow, look how close earth is to Uranus. 1.8553 0.00946 7973 3532 2074 2366
14 I’ll myth you too. 1.8359 0.00773 11149 4785 3409 2953
15 You can’t hold it by Venezuela. It’s unstable. 1.8334 0.01472 2821 1136 1019 666
16 You have anything else for recycling?” 1.8313 0.00953 6549 2598 2459 1491
17 Apparently, giving you the world wasn't enough 1.8274 0.01106 5059 2084 1766 1208
18 No, it’s cool, I’ll get the door, you enjoy that coffee.” 1.8265 0.01580 2496 1031 867 598
19 Zeus turned down my work from home request. 1.8218 0.01597 2284 905 881 498
20 Why can't you just have a chip on your shoulder like a normal human being? 1.8019 0.01034 5593 2343 2017 1232
21 When his wife asked him if he really was essential personnel, Atlas shrugged. 1.8019 0.01027 5935 2567 1978 1389
22 Oh really? YOU'RE tired of doing the same thing every day?" 1.7988 0.00964 6353 2643 2345 1364
23 Be sure to wash your hands when you're done touching that. 1.7826 0.01294 3570 1539 1268 763
24 Well... it no longer 'Sparks Joy', Susan. 1.7763 0.01227 4300 1979 1302 1018
25 Oh shoot! Put my mask on for me. 1.7758 0.01011 5873 2570 2048 1253
26 I’m returning it and getting another, this one has a pandemic. 1.7689 0.01051 5626 2547 1830 1246
27 I never knew what a pain in the ass the Andes can be. 1.7687 0.01135 4738 2126 1583 1027
28 Tell Sisyphus I'll meet him at the support group. 1.7543 0.01612 2198 991 767 440
29 I AM bending my knees! 1.7215 0.01026 5332 2445 1926 960
30 Honey, I’m taking it back. This one has a virus. 1.7195 0.00983 6035 2845 2038 1152
31 I’m taking it to the repair shop, it keeps overheating. 1.7160 0.00943 6218 2854 2276 1088
32 I know it looks weird but the warming really helps my sciatica. 1.7106 0.01215 3790 1767 1353 669
33 Some days I wish I could just drop everything. 1.6898 0.02062 1309 630 455 224
34 Every day is Earth Day, Carol.” 1.6801 0.01398 2832 1386 968 478
35 So you coughed on it. What’s the worst that could happen?” 1.6789 0.01383 3061 1545 953 562
36 “What a shame. It was so nice when we first got it.” 1.6742 0.02011 1375 679 465 231
37 “You can have it back when you’ve learned how to take care of it.” 1.6735 0.01119 4401 2164 1508 728
38 I told you, if you cant take care of it I'm giving it to someone who will" 1.6728 0.01683 1944 957 666 321
39 Sing 'He's Got the Whole World in His Hands' one more time, and I'll drop this on your foot. 1.6723 0.01482 2701 1388 809 503
40 It may not look like much to you, Gladys, but from nine to five, I'm a GOD. 1.6608 0.01710 1946 995 616 335
41 I'm bringing it in. It's overheating, pulling to the right, and has a transmission problem. 1.6603 0.01850 1840 998 469 373
42 You know, you could just roll it. 1.6577 0.02134 1227 627 394 206
43 If I can carry the world, you can take out the trash. 1.6534 0.01311 3133 1574 1068 489
44 Okay, I’ll stop bringing the problems of the world home with me. 1.6502 0.02583 809 409 274 126
45 It was easier to hold when the damn thing was flat. 1.6494 0.01452 2718 1422 827 469
46 ...Some nonsense about me being an essential employee. 1.6490 0.01356 2917 1473 993 450
47 If Zeus or Cuomo declares you essential, you’re essential. 1.6466 0.01405 2739 1395 917 427
48 Doris. I don’t think you understand the gravity of the situation 1.6399 0.01919 1497 779 478 240
49 I should have said yes when they offered me Pluto. 1.6372 0.01538 2263 1165 754 344
50 Oh yes, by all means, please tell me how you would do it. 1.6302 0.01738 1890 1018 553 319
51 I’m returning this, it’s defective. 1.6289 0.02968 609 318 199 92
52 You can keep the moon. 1.6252 0.02301 1030 546 324 160
53 I’m carrying the weight of the world. I don’t have time to take out the garbage. 1.6244 0.01722 1837 977 574 286
54 YES-- I kept the receipt! 1.6239 0.01953 1428 758 449 221
55 “not all of us can work from home Carol. Some of our jobs are essential.” 1.6215 0.01756 1794 964 545 285
56 Would you mind tilting it so the cold part isn't right there? 1.6206 0.01691 1766 908 620 238
57 Just going to exchange this earth for one without Donald Trump 1.6174 0.02166 1299 739 318 242
58 I know you’re balancing a lot right now, but please remember to pick up the dry cleaning. 1.6167 0.01731 1701 884 585 232
59 And you”re sure it just stopped working at 2020?” 1.6151 0.01853 1577 847 490 240
60 It's been recalled. 1.6135 0.01870 1550 835 479 236
61 I'm not bringing work home anymore. 1.6121 0.01825 1565 829 514 222
62 I'll call you if anything earth-shattering happens. 1.6106 0.02094 1225 660 382 183
63 I did not shrug. 1.6104 0.01885 1512 815 471 225
64 If Ayn Rand calls, tell her to go to Hell. 1.6087 0.02027 1380 776 372 232
65 Did you wash your hands before you picked that up? 1.6080 0.01930 1449 786 445 218
66 Gotta do an eclipse tonight. Don't wait up for me. 1.6079 0.01884 1385 718 492 175
67 We’ll let you have it back when it’s fixed. 1.6069 0.01919 1488 815 443 230
68 Three millennia in and suddenly everyone's all: "We love you Atlas! You're a hero, Atlas! You're essential, Atlas! " 1.6057 0.01948 1362 726 447 189
69 Does this go in the trash or can it be recycled? 1.6055 0.01929 1460 798 440 222
70 You know, Prometheus gets to telework." 1.6046 0.01974 1348 728 426 194
71 Seventy-one percent of it is just water weight. 1.6041 0.01977 1354 732 426 196
72 It doesn’t spark joy Gladys 1.6038 0.01971 1416 781 415 220
73 Weight of the world on your shoulders? Try cooking breakfast lunch and dinner, homeschooling the kids, zooming with my personal trainer and regrowing produce in mason jars in the fridge 1.6025 0.02029 1293 703 401 189
74 So are you sure that it's not easier to roll it? 1.6021 0.01989 1337 725 419 193
75 Well, I'm off to work. Apparently I'm still considered essential. 1.6016 0.01962 1368 741 431 196
76 I need space." 1.6006 0.02152 1242 704 330 208
77 I’m taking it into the shop, it’s burning way too much gas. 1.6001 0.01932 1348 716 455 177
78 A foldable map would be a helleva lot easier. 1.5971 0.02118 1241 696 349 196
79 Is it my imagination or is this getting warmer?" 1.5968 0.02032 1245 672 403 170
80 Did you try unplugging and plugging it back in...” 1.5964 0.02173 1177 660 332 185
81 Oh...it was the moon you wanted. How thoughtless of me. 1.5961 0.02210 1129 631 323 175
82 I’m just gonna go dip this in Purel. Be right back.” 1.5959 0.02036 1262 688 396 178
83 When you said you joined Planet Fitness, you weren't kidding. 1.5951 0.02474 904 507 256 141
84 This global warming really relaxes my lumbar 1.5932 0.03452 440 241 137 62
85 Outsourcing. 1.5919 0.02164 1191 684 313 194
86 Okay, okay. I won’t bring my work home anymore. 1.5906 0.02106 1170 641 367 162
87 Next time,specify what KIND of Atlas you need! 1.5905 0.02179 1138 643 321 174
88 Yep, Google Maps is down again 1.5895 0.02235 1050 579 323 148
89 For the record, I didn't shrug. 1.5894 0.02168 1130 627 340 163
90 I’m just going to take it out for a spin. 1.5856 0.02332 975 544 291 140
91 Thank God we don't live on Jupiter. 1.5849 0.02143 1084 588 358 138
92 I do NOT need a latitude adjustment, thank you! 1.5840 0.02282 988 560 285 143
93 I'll move heaven tomorrow..." 1.5834 0.02316 1025 584 284 157
94 Oh, laundry. That does sound like a tough day. 1.5816 0.02295 1035 589 290 156
95 Everyday is Earth Day, Linda. 1.5816 0.02189 1042 569 340 133
96 Small world," they said! "Pale blue dot," they said! "Blue marble," they said 1.5816 0.02212 1030 565 331 134
97 I shrugged, I didn’t say I don’t care. 1.5798 0.02239 1028 574 313 141
98 Can't tell if it's a slipped disc or a continental shift. 1.5791 0.02458 879 496 257 126
99 No, this time I will not simply shrug it off! 1.5772 0.02330 972 551 282 139
100 I’m taking this back. You guys obviously don’t appreciate it... 1.5743 0.02376 942 536 271 135
101 I'm supposed to deliver it to a kid named Greta Thünberg 1.5740 0.02429 939 545 249 145
102 God, I hate Earth Day. 1.5738 0.02222 861 515 228 118
103 Atlas schlepped. 1.5737 0.03038 570 323 167 80
104 Yeah well, I gave birth to our three children so I still win. Lift with your knees. 1.5722 0.02404 935 538 259 138
105 "This is not the world I ordered." 1.5721 0.02361 916 521 269 126
106 Does it look like I can "pick up a few things while I'm out?" 1.5714 0.02451 917 533 244 140
107 I can't take a break. That fool is still President. 1.5701 0.02653 770 445 211 114
108 You were right, I definitely should've peed first." 1.5682 0.02470 880 508 244 128
109 Well, as it turns out I can’t work from home. 1.5669 0.02373 859 474 283 102
110 For heaven’s sake, honey, stop complaining and just be grateful you still have a job.” 1.5662 0.02469 846 481 251 114
111 If I drop it, millions will die...but if I do my job correctly, then Trump will take all the credit. 1.5662 0.02620 816 482 206 128
112 Fine. I’ll save it myself. 1.5659 0.02432 850 478 263 109
113 Some people. You give them the world and it's still not enough! 1.5648 0.02504 818 465 244 109
114 I’m just gonna take her out for a spin. 1.5647 0.02468 834 472 253 109
115 Be careful next time you order an Atlas online.” 1.5639 0.02546 798 456 234 108
116 Well, your Southern Hemisphere isn’t what it used to be either my dear. 1.5639 0.02583 798 462 222 114
117 Zeus won’t Zoom. 1.5631 0.03203 531 311 141 79
118 It was easier when the earth was flat. 1.5623 0.02593 811 476 214 121
119 Did you try turning it off and then back on again?" 1.5610 0.02542 795 455 234 106
120 I'm returning it 1.5596 0.02222 788 470 213 97
121 She’s not heavy; she’s my Mother.” 1.5593 0.03034 599 355 153 91
122 are you sure you have everything? 1.5587 0.02592 775 448 221 106
123 Dr. Fauci heads in for another day at the White House. 1.5580 0.02722 767 462 182 123
124 Its a new treatment for my back, it's called global warming” 1.5569 0.02579 765 439 226 100
125 Why can't you use Google maps like everyone else? 1.5564 0.02633 762 445 210 107
126 Mount Everest is killing me. 1.5557 0.02551 727 405 240 82
127 Be more specific next time you order an Atlas. 1.5556 0.02765 720 429 182 109
128 You said take out the garbage. 1.5556 0.02613 747 429 219 98
129 Just 10 billion years until retirement 1.5550 0.03448 418 238 128 52
130 I sold it to Bezos.” 1.5501 0.02676 709 411 206 92
131 Sometimes I wish the world would just get off my ass. 1.5476 0.02714 683 396 200 87
132 Because I’m an essential worker Mildred, that’s why. 1.5472 0.02777 678 400 185 93
133 It's not getting heavier, but definitely getting warmer. 1.5472 0.02689 689 398 205 86
134 I miss the old days when the weight was on my shoulders. 1.5468 0.02696 684 395 204 85
135 For me, every day is Earth Day. Every. Single. Day. 1.5452 0.02765 664 388 190 86
136 I'm supposed to see some guy named Sysiphus about it today. 1.5444 0.02746 665 387 193 84
137 That's another thing Ayn Rand got wrong. 1.5428 0.02773 654 382 189 83
138 What do you mean, be careful not to touch my face? 1.5426 0.02827 645 381 178 86
139 Well, who else is gonna do it? The Trump Administration refuses to assume responsibility. 1.5426 0.03014 610 372 145 93
140 Yeah, every day is earth day for me. 1.5409 0.02743 636 365 198 73
141 Don’t say I’ve never made the earth move for you. 1.5404 0.02970 631 387 147 97
142 Be careful with that. It’s the only one we’ve got. 1.5399 0.02850 576 328 185 63
143 Weight of the world,Helen. Weight of the world. 1.5388 0.02803 618 358 187 73
144 Where on earth are you going? 1.5375 0.03084 547 327 146 74
145 Lift with your legs, Atlas. 1.5373 0.02847 616 362 177 77
146 Not everyone can work from home, Lois. 1.5371 0.02734 607 343 202 62
147 No, Fran, I don't think I'm taking Earth Day too seriously. 1.5357 0.02820 616 360 182 74
148 It's not the kind of job you can do from home, Doris. 1.5340 0.02720 588 366 145 77
149 For the millionth time, no!, I did not shrug. 1.5336 0.02896 581 340 172 69
150 I know. At least 30 million miles from the other planets. I get it. 1.5333 0.02871 585 341 176 68
151 Join Atlas Moving, you said. Move the world, you said. 1.5333 0.02961 585 350 158 77
152 Oh. When you said you felt like the weight of the world was on your shoulders, I thought it was a metaphor. 1.5331 0.02806 589 337 187 63
153 I’ll put this 6 feet from the house for a few months.....just to be safe. 1.5328 0.02920 580 341 167 71
154 Bowling. Where do you THINK I'm going? 1.5328 0.02910 580 341 169 70
155 Make sure you get a full refund” 1.5324 0.03045 586 360 140 86
156 Does the weight of the world make my ass look fat? 1.5304 0.03041 575 351 143 81
157 It doesn't feel like a small world. 1.5300 0.02790 566 335 168 63
158 And tell Disney it's not a small world after all. 1.5299 0.03045 519 304 155 60
159 I'll be back in 365 days 1.5295 0.03321 457 273 126 58
160 Does it look like I’m gonna have a good day? 1.5284 0.02951 564 334 162 68
161 I’m fine...it’s a small world, after all. 1.5244 0.03152 532 327 131 74
162 Doesn’t matter if you call it a carry on, they’re still gonna make you check it.” 1.5230 0.03175 522 321 129 72
163 Arent you supposed to carry it on your shoulders? 1.5225 0.03259 423 244 137 42
164 Remember if you need to cough, cough into your elbow 1.5219 0.03166 479 284 140 55
165 Yes, I washed my hands first. 1.5214 0.03235 468 280 132 56
166 They’ll take anything back at Costco 1.5209 0.03156 503 304 136 63
167 I'll be meeting with Rand McNally after work. They're naming a book after me. 1.5209 0.03144 503 303 138 62
168 How, precisely, should I cough into my elbow? 1.5205 0.03122 513 310 139 64
169 I'll see you at the end of my rotation. 1.5201 0.03077 498 294 149 55
170 be sure and wash your hands when you put that down 1.5200 0.03009 525 311 155 59
171 Well, it is Earth Day. 1.5197 0.02915 508 290 172 46
172 With this pandemic, the stores sold out of celestial spheres, so I’m making do with a terrestrial globe. 1.5180 0.03307 500 315 111 74
173 What really irks me is that Sisyphus gets to work from home. 1.5180 0.02601 500 323 119 58
174 Because if I carry it in front of me, Fran, I won't be able to see where I'm going." 1.5169 0.02733 503 302 153 48
175 This was a whole lot easier when we all thought it was flat. 1.5163 0.03194 490 298 131 61
176 It's not a phase, mom. 1.5154 0.02685 487 293 150 44
177 Not sure if this belongs in compost or recycling. 1.5152 0.03127 493 296 140 57
178 When you’re done with that, take out the garbage. 1.5141 0.03203 496 305 127 64
179 It'd be a lot easier if this thing was flat. 1.5117 0.03277 471 290 121 60
180 No, I cannot stop at Walgreens on the way back! 1.5117 0.03207 471 285 131 55
181 You can keep the house. 1.5111 0.03250 450 273 125 52
182 To the shop. Thing's starting to overheat. 1.5106 0.03145 472 282 139 51
183 The boss says that just because I'm mythological doesn't mean I'm not essential. 1.5100 0.02265 449 288 122 39
184 It was easier to carry when the world was flat. 1.5096 0.02945 467 289 125 50
185 Guess whose job is considered "essential." 1.5087 0.03289 458 281 121 56
186 I asked you to take over home schooling for one day, Gary." 1.5085 0.03226 470 287 127 56
187 Honey, this isn't what I meant when I said I'd move heaven and earth for you. 1.5081 0.03685 309 178 105 26
188 Sorry, that one was me, not greenhouse. 1.5077 0.03389 453 284 108 61
189 I offer you the world, and you're still not satisfied! 1.5076 0.03313 459 284 117 58
190 Fine! I'll put the germ-ridden thing back on the curb. 1.5066 0.03384 454 285 108 61
191 I AM lifting with my legs, damnit!! 1.5066 0.02987 454 284 120 50
192 Have a good day at work Dr. Fauci. 1.5066 0.03369 454 284 110 60
193 What part of "essential worker" do you not understand? 1.5065 0.03608 306 186 90 30
194 “I shrugged and all hell broke loose” 1.5056 0.03160 445 263 139 43
195 Everyone wants the body of a god, but no one wants to put the work in. 1.5050 0.03321 400 236 126 38
196 You know that's just a metaphor, right? 1.5047 0.03442 426 265 107 54
197 I bet Sisyphus never gets this kind of grief from HIS wife! 1.5034 0.03266 437 264 126 47
198 I did not wet my pants. That’s just Antarctica melting! 1.5034 0.03430 441 278 104 59
199 Phyllis, what does that even mean, ‘work-life balance’?” 1.5023 0.03349 428 262 117 49
200 If you insist on carrying the weight of the world, you need shoes with better support. 1.5023 0.03446 428 268 105 55
201 Honey, it’s just a beach ball, don’t be so dramatic. And I want my dress back by the end of the day. 1.5023 0.03453 432 272 103 57
202 Why can't you just use GPS like everyone else? 1.5023 0.03374 432 267 113 52
203 That chili I ate for dinner last night is going to be bad for Argentina. 1.5012 0.03590 413 264 91 58
204 When I asked you to make the Earth move this evening, I had something else in mind dear 1.5012 0.03375 415 253 116 46
205 I’m going for a walk with Sisyphus. He says I pick up his spirits. 1.5012 0.03226 423 251 132 40
206 Umm..yeah, I'd say my job is essential... 1.5012 0.03411 423 262 110 51
207 Jesus Ayn, I'm not shrugging, it's heavy. 1.5012 0.03404 427 265 110 52
208 Fine. I’ll stop bringing my work home with me. 1.5012 0.03304 433 264 121 48
209 I'm taking it back because it's defective." 1.5012 0.03447 433 273 103 57
210 It's a small world my a.. 1.5011 0.03381 439 274 110 55
211 It doesn't spark joy anymore... 1.5000 0.03531 422 269 95 58
212 Really!? Pick up the dry cleaning too? 1.5000 0.03375 418 256 115 47
213 Am I essential at work?! Are we really having this conversation right now, Martha 1.5000 0.03556 408 258 96 54
214 You still have to take out the trash 1.4985 0.03807 323 197 91 35
215 Be careful. You dropped it a few weeks ago, and look what happened. 1.4976 0.03530 412 261 97 54
216 This one came with a pandemic, so I'm returning it. 1.4964 0.03452 411 256 106 49
217 Amazon really messed this one up. 1.4963 0.03447 409 254 107 48
218 Now be sure to wash your hands if you touch China! 1.4963 0.03550 409 260 95 54
219 Oh, for Pete’s sake, Nancy—I’m halfway out the door! Can’t you look up Santa Fe on the internet? 1.4963 0.03600 409 263 89 57
220 Gonna return it for the 2019 model. 1.4962 0.03490 391 241 106 44
221 Why do I always put my car key in my back pocket? 1.4962 0.03471 391 240 108 43
222 I'm getting rid of all my earthly possessions." 1.4951 0.03383 408 250 114 44
223 Not everyone can work from home, you know. 1.4950 0.03353 404 245 118 41
224 It's time I stopped bringing work home with me. 1.4950 0.03260 404 240 128 36
225 It goes on the shoulders, Gary. It’s the monkey that goes on the back. 1.4950 0.03579 402 256 93 53
226 Oh yeah? Well....I don't see your face launching any ships Helen! 1.4950 0.03086 400 267 82 50
227 I’ll try to fix it, lady, but this time you may really have done it. 1.4949 0.03549 396 249 98 49
228 It’s not the weight of the world that bothers me. It’s this ridiculous uniform. 1.4938 0.03263 405 258 99 47
229 It could be worse. You could 've married Sisyphus. 1.4938 0.03263 405 263 90 50
230 Yes, I'm sure I'm considered to be an essential worker. 1.4938 0.03235 405 240 130 35
231 We agreed, if it doesn't bring you joy it's time to let it go" 1.4937 0.03617 399 256 89 54
232 I'll bring this back once you learn how to take care of it! 1.4937 0.03457 399 247 107 45
233 I used to carry the whole world on my shoulders. Now it’s a just a big pain in the ass. 1.4937 0.03697 395 257 81 57
234 They lied; it's nobody's oyster. 1.4924 0.03580 394 250 94 50
235 No! I can't just shrug it off" 1.4923 0.03571 390 246 96 48
236 I'm leaving you Dorris, and I'm taking everything — and I mean "everything"! 1.4923 0.03440 390 239 110 41
237 Unless I gaze upon the severed head of Medusa, I'll be home about 6. 1.4913 0.03444 401 249 107 45
238 Just once, I wish it WAS flat. 1.4913 0.03407 401 247 111 43
239 Does it go in the blue bin or the green bin? 1.4910 0.03546 391 246 98 47
240 Can you grab my mask? 1.4910 0.03578 389 246 95 48
241 Not that one- I told you I wanted the pretty one with the ring around it! 1.4910 0.03516 387 241 102 44
242 Remind me if this is trash or recycling. 1.4910 0.03516 387 241 102 44
243 Try to shrug it off?” Are you kidding 1.4901 0.03642 355 220 96 39
244 Oh, please. Try homeschooling the kids for a day. 1.4896 0.03556 384 241 98 45
245 This would be a lot easier if it were flat” 1.4896 0.03498 384 238 104 42
246 I'll call you with an estimate. It's likely going to need a lot of repair. 1.4882 0.03557 381 239 98 44
247 It’s not up to me, Karen, apparently I’m “essential”. 1.4881 0.03629 379 241 91 47
248 Some of us simply cannot work from home. 1.4881 0.03571 379 238 97 44
249 If Zeus calls, tell him I left for the bowling alley already. 1.4881 0.03042 377 249 87 41
250 You forgot your face mask dear! 1.4869 0.03589 382 242 94 46
251 Does this go in the recycling or the trash? 1.4867 0.03532 376 234 101 41
252 What do you mean, I’m not an essential worker? 1.4866 0.03646 374 238 90 46
253 You're lucky. Think about the one who has to carry the Sun. 1.4866 0.03506 374 231 104 39
254 The ice helps. 1.4848 0.03818 297 180 90 27
255 Can you rotate it thirty degrees counterclockwise? The Himalayas are killing my right shoulder. 1.4836 0.03540 366 227 101 38
256 ‘I’m just glad we kept the receipt.’ 1.4835 0.03533 364 225 102 37
257 I know the store is closed. I'm taking it back to the Greeks maybe they still have the instructions." 1.4834 0.03525 362 223 103 36
258 Does this make my ass look big? 1.4833 0.03668 360 228 90 42
259 How the hell should I know where Carmen Sandiego is? 1.4833 0.03710 360 230 86 44
260 I should've made it flat" 1.4819 0.03176 359 241 77 41
261 So, I shrugged. You don't have to write a book about it. 1.4819 0.03780 359 233 79 47
262 Google wants it back. 1.4819 0.02784 359 235 91 32
263 Sure, sure, Gaia, you carried it for nine months - but it was a lot lighter then! 1.4807 0.03641 337 208 96 33
264 That's it, I'm taking it back!" 1.4806 0.03484 360 223 102 35
265 You know you can just roll it, right?” 1.4802 0.03714 354 226 86 42
266 And while you’re at the doctor’s, have him look at that thing on your back. 1.4802 0.03692 354 225 88 41
267 Wouldn't it have been easier to show them where it is on a laptop? 1.4802 0.03605 354 221 96 37
268 This was a lot easier when it was flat. 1.4789 0.03727 355 228 84 43
269 Is it just me or is this thing getting warmer?" 1.4785 0.03627 326 199 98 29
270 Does this Earth make my ass look flat?” 1.4767 0.03838 344 224 76 44
271 Pyjama Guy: Walking out of that door, you seem like a Hercules from Alabama, celebrating death. Old guy: What?? Pyjama Guy: Stay the fick home!!! @newyorkermag 1.4766 0.04337 342 246 29 67
272 I know, Janet...but if I don't dress up, use visual aids and say his name a bunch of times, he won't be able to pay attention long enough to get the message. 1.4766 0.03965 342 228 65 49
273 It’s a small world after all. 1.4759 0.03873 332 215 76 41
274 I still don't see why Sisyfus can work from home but I'm somehow considered "essential." 1.4759 0.03729 332 209 88 35
275 Just don't shrug 1.4759 0.03704 332 208 90 34
276 No reason to shrug. It's mostly water weight. 1.4754 0.03718 345 220 86 39
277 I’m off to crash a meeting of the Flat Earthers. 1.4752 0.03711 343 218 87 38
278 I won't need a coat. This thing gets warmer every year. 1.4752 0.03665 343 216 91 36
279 Just taking it out for a spin. 1.4749 0.03672 339 213 91 35
280 Pile it on Marge. Like it makes a difference. 1.4749 0.03672 339 213 91 35
281 Non essential, my ass” 1.4748 0.03688 337 212 90 35
282 No, I can’t do this virtually! 1.4748 0.03783 337 216 82 39
283 This is the way the world ends, not with a bang but a shrug 1.4743 0.03761 331 210 85 36
284 I'll exchange it for a virus-free one. 1.4743 0.03786 331 211 83 37
285 I’ve been deemed essential. 1.4743 0.03663 331 206 93 32
286 I’m returning it, it has a virus. 1.4731 0.03760 334 213 84 37
287 Yes, now that you mention it, I do have a lot weighing on my shoulders. 1.4731 0.03639 334 208 94 32
288 Yes, if you must know the damn thing is very heavy; and if that wasn’t bad enough, it’s getting hotter too. 1.4731 0.03614 334 207 96 31
289 I’m going bowling with Zeus. 1.4731 0.03784 334 214 82 38
290 Sure. Now I’m essential. 1.4730 0.03715 315 195 91 29
291 Maybe I am a myth, but what we had was real. 1.4729 0.03848 332 215 77 40
292 You do realize this will make my asteroids flare up, don't you? 1.4722 0.03895 324 210 75 39
293 The thing stopped working, so I’m returning it. 1.4720 0.03202 339 228 67 38
294 This doesn't look essential to you? 1.4716 0.03026 335 219 87 29
295 If Sisyphus calls, tell him I’m busy. 1.4713 0.03761 331 211 84 36
296 Five more years of climate change and I can retire. 1.4711 0.03802 329 216 73 40
297 Could you scratch my back? Around New Zealand, I think. 1.4710 0.03947 310 200 74 36
298 Oh, so now I’m an essential worker? 1.4698 0.03768 315 198 86 31
299 I remember when Antarctica made a decent ice pack." 1.4698 0.03660 315 194 94 27
300 At least it's not a monkey 1.4697 0.03695 330 208 89 33
301 If it FIT in a bag I'd PUT it in a bag! 1.4697 0.03619 330 205 95 30
302 Don't worry, you're still my sun, my moon, and all my stars. 1.4697 0.03719 330 209 87 34
303 I dunno. Ask Ayn Rand... 1.4691 0.02524 324 220 78 26
304 Unbelievable. The 4-billion year warranty just expired, and now this. 1.4691 0.03574 324 206 87 31
305 Nope, I’m done. It’s going out on the curb.” 1.4689 0.03887 322 209 75 38
306 Really Brenda? Bunny slippers? 1.4689 0.03761 322 204 85 33
307 It doesn’t spark joy anymore, Lisa.” 1.4686 0.03949 318 208 71 39
308 Lunching with Sisyphus 1.4686 0.03847 318 204 79 35
309 I am getting rid of it. This one’s infected. 1.4684 0.03196 316 207 81 28
310 Trading this in for Mercury. People just cause problems. 1.4683 0.03611 331 206 95 30
311 I told them it’s the turtle’s turn, but do they listen to me? Nooooo! 1.4683 0.03611 331 206 95 30
312 So maybe I don't carry the weight of the world on my SHOULDERS... 1.4682 0.03722 314 196 89 29
313 Believe me, dear... it’s warming 1.4675 0.03777 323 206 83 34
314 Must you always insist that I move heaven and earth for you 1.4675 0.03903 323 211 73 39
315 While you're out, check and see if you can find any toilet paper. 1.4675 0.03777 323 206 83 34
316 No, I did not know that the Atlantic looks like a goat kissing the Pacific" 1.4671 0.03838 319 205 79 35
317 Atlas Sighed 1.4669 0.02506 317 213 75 25
318 Don't let the door hit you in Eurasia." 1.4669 0.03855 317 204 78 35
319 Just text me if there's anything else you want me to pick up. 1.4669 0.03777 317 201 84 32
320 I asked for flowers Daryl, not the whole world” 1.4667 0.03741 315 198 87 30
321 It beats that gig Sisyphus got. 1.4665 0.03619 313 192 96 25
322 They only said to keep things that give you joy. 1.4641 0.03847 306 195 80 31
323 Well, you weren't my whole world either. 1.4641 0.04063 306 203 64 39
324 That's easy for you to say Karen...the whole world doesn't revolve around you! 1.4641 0.03705 306 190 90 26
325 I'm returning this, half of the features don't even work anymore! 1.4633 0.03729 313 197 87 29
326 Stop singing “He’s Got the Whole World in His Hands”, or I swear I’ll dunk those bunny slippers into your coffee! 1.4633 0.03864 313 202 77 34
327 You know, if it really was flat, it would be easier to carry. 1.4625 0.03781 307 194 84 29
328 It would mean the world to me if you could get the door. 1.4625 0.03638 307 189 94 24
329 Call Zeus. Tell him I am too old for this ****! 1.4625 0.03316 307 211 63 33
330 At least I still have a job. 1.4625 0.03781 307 194 84 29
331 Maybe your back would get better if you didn't always bring your work home with you. 1.4625 0.03892 307 198 76 33
332 Honey, remember that’s not recyclable.” 1.4623 0.03534 305 184 101 20
333 I never knew Earth was so close to Uranus. 1.4620 0.04012 303 199 68 36
334 Who did you THINK you married, Zeus!? 1.4618 0.03864 301 192 79 30
335 Dr. Fauci on his way to another press conference. 1.4613 0.03864 310 210 61 39
336 I'm done trying to fix it. Just going to put it in the yard for the dog to play with. 1.4608 0.03846 306 196 79 31
337 Atlas didn't have the heart to tell Eleanor that he'd been laid off weeks ago. 1.4600 0.03986 300 196 70 34
338 This is the last time I am bringing work home with me. 1.4600 0.03756 300 188 86 26
339 I'll be home a little late - it's a leap year. 1.4600 0.03873 300 192 78 30
340 No, it's not supposed to get that hot. It's got a 5 billion year warranty, I'm pretty sure they'll just exchange it. 1.4600 0.03930 300 194 74 32
341 When you stop wearing bunny slippers. That's when! 1.4600 0.04014 300 197 68 35
342 Are my continents on straight? 1.4600 0.03829 300 193 77 30
343 Not everything revolves around you, Atlas. . 1.4597 0.03862 298 190 79 29
344 Don't taunt me, Edna. You know if you make me laugh the Nile flows backwards. 1.4591 0.04196 257 165 66 26
345 Zeus won’t let us work from home. 1.4585 0.03470 301 205 64 32
346 Damn it, Edith, I can't just shrug it off! 1.4585 0.03776 301 190 84 27
347 I'm sorry but I cannot make this revolve around you 1.4585 0.03976 301 197 70 34
348 I'll be home late. Its a leap year. 1.4585 0.03805 301 191 82 28
349 I'd be even more impressed if you could take out the trash without being asked. 1.4585 0.04086 301 201 62 38
350 I know you get to work from home, but that doesn’t mean you can wear my bunny slippers.” 1.4579 0.03880 273 170 81 22
351 I'm just taking Mother out for a spin.” 1.4576 0.03978 295 192 71 32
352 I told you before. It’s the greenhouse gasses. 1.4573 0.03184 293 201 63 28
353 Fine, I’ll take it back.” 1.4567 0.03855 289 193 64 32
354 Doc told me to apply heat to my lower back, and this thing just keeps getting warmer. 1.4567 0.03761 289 180 86 23
355 Garbage or recycle? 1.4567 0.03496 289 191 70 27
356 Honey, I’ve got this. I’ve got the whole world in my hands. 1.4567 0.03114 289 189 79 21
357 Just 30 seconds in disinfectant should do it! 1.4567 0.03978 289 187 72 30
358 Some days I feel as if I have the weight of the world on my shoulders. Other days I just shrug it off. 1.4567 0.03917 289 185 76 28
359 Sorry for the mix-up. You've been promised the moon, right? 1.4567 0.03886 289 184 78 27
360 When you said you were going globe-trotting... 1.4567 0.03171 289 188 80 21
361 Yes Sharon, running out of decaf does sound like a difficult morning” 1.4555 0.03605 292 193 71 28
362 I guess I’m considered essential” 1.4552 0.04018 279 180 71 28
363 Just when I got used to working from home, back to the pedestal we go. 1.4552 0.03907 290 186 76 28
364 Honey. It’s a metaphor. 1.4552 0.03470 290 194 66 28
365 Fauci: “Well, I’m off for my daily press briefing!” 1.4552 0.03069 290 198 64 26
366 Be careful with that - it's 4.54 billion years old!" 1.4549 0.03926 288 185 75 28
367 Does the weight of the world make my butt look big? 1.4549 0.03987 288 187 71 30
368 I'm having lunch with Sisyphus." 1.4549 0.04077 288 190 65 33
369 Did you say try rolling it? 1.4549 0.03864 288 183 79 26
370 Every day is bleeping earth day for me. 1.4549 0.03926 288 185 75 28
371 Really? In those shoes? 1.4549 0.04018 288 188 69 31
372 Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'll wipe it down first. 1.4549 0.03737 288 179 87 22
373 Well, as a matter of fact, the world DOES revolve around me. 1.4549 0.03588 288 191 67 28
374 I'm hiding it. It's the only way to keep the feds from destroying it. 1.4549 0.03926 288 185 75 28
375 Going out for a cup of coffee with Sisyphus to brainstorm some kind of collaboration. 1.4549 0.03864 288 183 79 26
376 All things considered, Atlas, it's a small world after all. 1.4549 0.04077 288 190 65 33
377 It no longer gives me joy 1.4549 0.03720 288 186 75 26
378 I'd hate to be the guy who's holding Uranus. 1.4549 0.04136 288 192 61 35
379 Is it me or is this thing getting warmer? 1.4549 0.03769 288 180 85 23
380 I’ll try to exchange it for a new one. 1.4549 0.02835 288 192 76 20
381 Everyone is working from home. 1.4549 0.02658 288 206 57 25
382 She ain’t heavy, she’s your mother. 1.4545 0.04158 286 191 60 35
383 I asked for the moon.” 1.4539 0.03954 282 181 74 27
384 You better wash that thing off before you bring it back in. 1.4533 0.03916 289 186 75 28
385 I wish the Himalayas weren’t so pointy. 1.4530 0.03997 287 187 70 30
386 Well, another day, another rotation. 1.4523 0.03781 283 177 84 22
387 Just ONCE, I'd like to leave without you telling me to lift with my legs. 1.4520 0.03964 281 181 73 27
388 If they knew how hard it was to replace one of these, they would take better care of it. 1.4520 0.03931 281 180 75 26
389 I can really feel the obesity epidemic 1.4520 0.03356 281 183 69 22
390 Well, SOME of us perform essential functions! 1.4516 0.03951 279 179 74 26
391 Atlas, darling, I've put your lunch box in the Mariana Trench. 1.4516 0.03312 279 193 59 27
392 Actually I did try turning it off and on again, it's just not restarting properly 1.4513 0.04165 277 184 61 32
393 One day you'll learn to just shrug it off. 1.4513 0.03144 277 188 65 23
394 You should still wear a mask. 1.4513 0.03905 277 176 77 24
395 Can you pick up the dry cleaning too? 1.4504 0.04047 282 185 67 30
396 It’s a globe, just roll it honey! 1.4504 0.04109 282 187 63 32
397 Be back soon--just dropping this off for Sysyphus. 1.4485 0.04056 272 177 68 27
398 ...at least, I have a job... 1.4481 0.03975 270 173 73 24
399 I hate earth day! 1.4481 0.04243 270 181 57 32
400 It's only until I sell my screenplay. 1.4481 0.04010 270 174 71 25
401 It's easier than pushing it up a hill. 1.4479 0.04203 259 170 62 27
402 Get dressed, you're going to have to help me with Jupiter. 1.4477 0.03644 277 187 62 27
403 That does it. I'm taking this damn thing to the dump. 1.4477 0.04100 277 183 64 30
404 Yeah, yeah, I know. You dated Atlas. 1.4477 0.04163 277 185 60 32
405 It still beats working in an Amazon fulfillment center. 1.4477 0.03732 277 192 54 31
406 This was so much easier before obesity became a worldwide problem. 1.4473 0.04024 275 179 69 27
407 No, I’m not thankful that I still have a job. 1.4462 0.04149 251 162 66 23
408 How am I considered essential but Prometheus gets to work from home? 1.4461 0.04351 269 184 50 35
409 It just doesn't spark joy for me anymore." 1.4461 0.04122 269 177 64 28
410 I'll be at Rockefeller Center if you need me. 1.4461 0.04088 269 176 66 27
411 I should've left these deliveries to the Amazons. 1.4461 0.04155 269 178 62 29
412 Remember dear, you promised me you'd move heaven as well. 1.4461 0.04088 269 176 66 27
413 Seriously, you're going to wear those shoes to the office? 1.4461 0.03914 269 171 76 22
414 Couldn't you just use Google Earth? 1.4461 0.03932 269 179 63 27
415 No time to shrug. 1.4461 0.03879 269 170 78 21
416 Why not just roll it? 1.4461 0.04188 269 179 60 30
417 When the internet provider said I could have have the world at my fingertips, I should have known it was a trap. 1.4461 0.04088 269 176 66 27
418 Fauci needs help today” 1.4460 0.04024 278 182 68 28
419 Go to hell, Ayn! We both know that's not why I do this. 1.4460 0.03859 278 177 78 23
420 Bad enough it was heavy, now it’s also getting warmer.. 1.4457 0.03899 267 169 77 21
421 Jeez, Martha; I got the weight of the world on my shoulders, and you ask me not to forget a half-gallon of milk on my way home??? 1.4457 0.04110 267 175 65 27
422 I betcha Prometheus never brings his work home! 1.4457 0.03970 267 171 73 23
423 No, I can't just work from home. 1.4457 0.03970 267 171 73 23
424 I'll bring it back when there is a vaccine. 1.4457 0.04278 267 180 55 32
425 You're the one who wanted a God in bed. 1.4457 0.04006 267 172 71 24
426 Yes, I’m an essential worker! 1.4449 0.04049 263 170 69 24
427 I’m sure somebody will take it if it’s free” 1.4449 0.04155 263 173 63 27
428 I’m going out for a spin. 1.4449 0.03921 263 169 72 22
429 It could use some fresh air. 1.4449 0.04084 263 171 67 25
430 I’ll just say that one of you needs to get off my butt. 1.4449 0.03903 263 166 77 20
431 Mrs. Fauci: "Oh Anthony, please! Don't be so dramatic." 1.4449 0.04393 263 180 49 34
432 ...and no, I can't work from home. 1.4449 0.04190 263 174 61 28
433 Hunny, a flat earth philosophy may be easier to bear. 1.4449 0.03693 263 178 60 25
434 It's bring your metaphor to work day, honey 1.4449 0.04084 263 171 67 25
435 I liked it better flat" 1.4444 0.03973 270 174 72 24
436 How foolish I was to think you wanted to see the world with me. 1.4444 0.04042 270 176 68 26
437 The planet has put on a few pounds since the quarantine started. 1.4444 0.03903 270 172 76 22
438 Is it me or has this thing been getting hotter lately? 1.4444 0.03973 270 174 72 24
439 Honestly Martha, it's mostly water weight" 1.4432 0.03965 264 169 73 22
440 I'm sorry, it just doesn't spark joy anymore! 1.4427 0.04235 262 175 58 29
441 Damn turtle's late again. 1.4427 0.04235 262 175 58 29
442 Make sure you come back with toilet paper 1.4427 0.04269 262 176 56 30
443 She ain’t heavy, she’s my mother. 1.4422 0.04128 251 170 54 27
444 Actually, it's easier since all the ice melted. 1.4414 0.04013 256 164 71 21
445 Did you seriously just say, "Happy Earth Day"? 1.4414 0.04051 256 165 69 22
446 Every day this thing keeps getting warmer. 1.4411 0.03509 263 177 64 22
447 Of course I'm an essential worker. 1.4411 0.03184 263 177 67 19
448 I still can't understand how that other guy's got the whole world in his hands. 1.4411 0.03974 263 169 72 22
449 Yes, I'm going out without a mask. 1.4411 0.04118 263 173 64 26
450 No, after all, it's not a small world. 1.4411 0.03901 263 167 76 20
451 Easier to distribute the weight since they all started holding still. 1.4397 0.04001 257 165 71 21
452 Wish me "no volcanoes today!" 1.4397 0.04223 257 171 59 27
453 Ask around. All the neighbors think their jobs are important too. 1.4397 0.03924 257 163 75 19
454 Atlas, Honey, could you please see if you can pick up some toilet paper while you're out? 1.4397 0.04187 257 170 61 26
455 If you walk out that door, my whole world will just disappear! 1.4397 0.03428 257 180 50 25
456 Taking it to the shop. It's overheating. 1.4392 0.04210 255 169 60 26
457 See if my chiropractor can see me at 2 this afternoon 1.4392 0.03826 255 159 80 16
458 Before the cutbacks, at least I had a lever and a place to stand.” 1.4392 0.04136 255 167 64 24
459 I’ll be back in 80 days. 1.4392 0.03039 255 179 55 21
460 Yes, honey, I am lifting with my knees! 1.4382 0.04106 251 163 66 22
461 If I’m going to single-handedly carry the world on my back the least you can do is change out of your robe, Linda.” 1.4380 0.04245 258 173 57 28
462 I never shrugged! 1.4380 0.03735 258 172 64 22
463 Darn it, I forgot my mask. 1.4380 0.04137 258 170 63 25
464 Oh no, don't worry... I'LL get the door. 1.4378 0.04168 249 163 63 23
465 Do you have the receipt?” 1.4378 0.04321 249 167 55 27
466 When this is all over we’re getting a turtle.” 1.4378 0.04168 249 163 63 23
467 You’re not going out in sandals, are you 1.4378 0.04245 249 165 59 25
468 And, once you finish saving the world, the lawn needs mowing. 1.4378 0.04129 249 162 65 22
469 It's all about engaging your core. 1.4378 0.04283 249 166 57 26
470 I just can't shrug off my responsibility. 1.4378 0.04168 249 163 63 23
471 I don't know what to tell you Lisa, eternity means eternity. You knew this when we started dating 1.4375 0.04305 256 173 54 29
472 It doesn't revolve around you! 1.4370 0.03915 254 161 75 18
473 Last time I agree to do show and tell. 1.4365 0.04132 252 165 64 23
474 At least I don’t have to carry Uranus 1.4360 0.04344 250 169 53 28
475 I told you a flat one would work better." 1.4360 0.04344 250 169 53 28
476 Lift with your knees, sweetie. 1.4360 0.03505 250 174 48 21
477 Are you sure everyone at the office is dressing up for Earth Day? 1.4360 0.04417 250 171 49 30
478 Yeah, yeah, yeah. Weight of the world. Every day. I get it. Now don't forget the milk. 1.4360 0.04077 250 162 67 21
479 Mint condition" my ass 1.4360 0.04344 250 169 53 28
480 Well, don't judge me, Joanne—it keeps me from touching my face. 1.4358 0.04184 257 171 60 26
481 One time, Christine. I shrugged one time.” 1.4355 0.03724 248 167 60 21
482 Oh damn! I forgot to put my mask on! 1.4355 0.04256 248 165 58 25
483 Atlas called in sick again! 1.4355 0.04179 248 163 62 23
484 Work-life balance can kiss my ass. 1.4355 0.01398 248 183 49 16
485 I’m taking it back for a refund. 1.4355 0.04294 248 166 56 26
486 OK, OK, I'll take it back and get you the Boston Globe. 1.4355 0.04179 248 163 62 23
487 Shoe lace is untied.” 1.4343 0.02727 251 179 52 19
488 Who knew, but flat would have been easier to carry. 1.4343 0.03985 251 161 71 19
489 Be sure to wash your hands. 1.4343 0.04218 251 167 59 25
490 They said I could go back to work once I understood the gravity of the situation 1.4339 0.04087 242 156 67 19
491 What on Earth do you think you are doing? 1.4339 0.04410 242 164 51 27
492 Honey, you’re supposed to hold it by the poles” 1.4339 0.04252 242 160 59 23
493 We borrowed this from our children and it’s time to give it back. 1.4339 0.04211 242 159 61 22
494 Honey don’t forget your mask 1.4339 0.04449 242 165 49 28
495 A giant turtle used to do this job, but then of course PETA objected. 1.4339 0.04171 242 158 63 21
496 Your therapist is right. This Ayn Rand obsession has gone too far. 1.4339 0.04371 242 163 53 26
497 Sorry. I ordered “Atlas Shrugged” not Atlas schlepped. 1.4339 0.04449 242 165 49 28
498 He's got the whole world in his hands," my ass. 1.4339 0.04171 242 158 63 21
499 Oh, like you're a Greek goddess. 1.4339 0.04211 242 159 61 22
500 Knock it off, Martha, you knew what I did for a living when you married me.” 1.4339 0.03401 242 165 57 19
501 Yeah, well you're no "MRS SISYPHUS" either! 1.4339 0.03894 242 169 48 25
502 There's nothing to fear but sphere itself. 1.4339 0.04171 242 158 63 21
503 Watching her husband leave for the 4 billionth time, Atlas' wife shrugged. 1.4339 0.04332 242 162 55 25
504 Well, if you wanted a guy with a predictable routine, you should've stuck with Sisyphus. 1.4339 0.04292 242 161 57 24
505 This wasn't what I bargained for when I signed up for Planet Fitness. 1.4337 0.04243 249 166 58 25
506 Just roll with it? Is that supposed to be funny? 1.4327 0.04174 245 161 62 22
507 I decided this didn’t spark joy 1.4321 0.03184 243 168 57 18
508 Look on the bright side, it makes your butt look smaller. 1.4321 0.04318 243 163 55 25
509 I’d be more impressed if you’d just fix the sink... 1.4317 0.04452 227 152 52 23
510 When Zeus says you’re an essential worker, you listen to him.” 1.4315 0.04222 241 159 60 22
511 I HAVE to go — I’m an essential worker! 1.4315 0.04098 241 156 66 19
512 It doesn’t spark joy, Helen!” 1.4315 0.04304 241 161 56 24
513 I can feel the difference since Planet Fitness closed” 1.4315 0.04263 241 160 58 23
514 Why don’t you just roll it?” 1.4315 0.03651 241 160 62 18
515 Could you scratch me around the Pacific Islands? 1.4315 0.04263 241 160 58 23
516 When Harry left, Alice felt like he took her whole world with him. 1.4315 0.04324 241 164 51 26
517 You know, I heard Sisyphus moved into a building with an elevator” 1.4315 0.04140 241 157 64 20
518 When I said I would move heaven and earth for you, it was just an expression. 1.4315 0.03969 241 153 72 16
519 I'm taking it back to PCWorld. This version has a virus. 1.4315 0.04538 241 167 44 30
520 I'm gonna put it in the trash. It's not working any more. 1.4315 0.03628 241 168 51 22
521 Life was so much easier when I had this thing on a string! 1.4315 0.04055 241 155 68 18
522 You think I wouldn't LOVE to work from home? 1.4315 0.04422 241 164 50 27
523 I'm returning it to the store. Everyone knows it's supposed to be FLAT. 1.4315 0.04500 241 166 46 29
524 I'm headed to Rockefeller Center. I got promised some steady work. 1.4315 0.04222 241 159 60 22
525 And these sandals you bought give me no arch support. 1.4315 0.04055 241 155 68 18
526 Well ofcourse I'm stressed, Doris! I have the weight of the whole darn world on my shoulders! 1.4315 0.03836 241 165 54 22
527 You still have to wear a mask. 1.4315 0.04576 241 168 42 31
528 Well, to be honest...it does make your butt look big. 1.4315 0.04222 241 159 60 22
529 Not without a face mask you’re not 1.4315 0.04098 241 156 66 19
530 How are you going to cover your mouth when you cough? 1.4315 0.04343 241 162 54 25
531 The Himalayas are killing me. 1.4315 0.04263 241 160 58 23
532 Why not go on a sabbatical to relax your back, Atlas?" they said. "Nothing will happen in those four months on earth," they said 1.4315 0.04383 241 163 52 26
533 You should carry the weight of the world on your shoulders, not your back. 1.4315 0.04222 241 159 60 22
534 Bend with your legs. 1.4315 0.04140 241 157 64 20
535 I just can't work at home! 1.4315 0.04222 241 159 60 22
536 I think you’re supposed to carry it on your shoulders. 1.4304 0.04230 237 156 60 21
537 It gets heavier every time Trump opens his big mouth!! 1.4304 0.04314 237 158 56 23
538 Sisyphus can’t carry my jockstrap.” 1.4298 0.04393 228 152 54 22
539 Try doing it in heels” 1.4298 0.04256 235 155 59 21
540 It just doesn't spark joy! 1.4298 0.04585 235 163 43 29
541 This would be so much easier if it was flat. 1.4298 0.04256 235 155 59 21
542 Why can’t you just take a Pilates class like everyone else’ 1.4298 0.04423 235 159 51 25
543 At least you won’t be able to touch your face. 1.4298 0.04298 235 156 57 22
544 I got promoted to Global Manager. 1.4298 0.04298 235 156 57 22
545 I think I finally found someone to take it off my hands 1.4298 0.03922 235 155 62 18
546 The water is the tricky part. 1.4298 0.04382 235 158 53 24
547 At least you're not married to Sisyphus. 1.4298 0.04169 235 153 63 19
548 I don't need a mask. 1.4298 0.03208 235 163 52 17
549 You’re a fine one to talk about weird shoes” 1.4298 0.04505 235 161 47 27
550 Just tell the chiropractor it’s work related. 1.4298 0.04382 235 158 53 24
551 I didn't realize what I was in for when I took this job with Atlas Movers. 1.4298 0.04125 235 152 65 18
552 Have to deliver this to Ayn Rand. 1.4298 0.04423 235 159 51 25
553 I think I am going to return it 1.4298 0.04523 242 168 44 30
554 This one's busted - gonna get a new one! 1.4298 0.04289 242 162 56 24
555 I told you to keep the box." 1.4298 0.04329 242 163 54 25
556 Really? The sandals? That’s all you want to say? 1.4286 0.04132 238 155 64 19
557 And don’t come back till you fix it” 1.4286 0.04174 238 156 62 20
558 Told you it was going bad!" 1.4280 0.04112 236 153 65 18
559 Last day. We go digital tomorrow. 1.4280 0.04046 236 159 55 21
560 This'll take most the day. Then I'll realign the planets, grab some take-out and . . . seeya about 6? 1.4280 0.04284 236 157 57 22
561 It’s where they make me carry the moon that causes the chafing. 1.4280 0.04408 236 160 51 25
562 It’s not going to carry itself. 1.4280 0.04284 236 157 57 22
563 Glaciers are melting. Seas are rising. Teutonic plates are shifting. Earthquakes, volcanoes, tsunamis, wildfires, droughts, tornadoes, and hurricanes are worse than ever. Now this damned virus. My back is killing me. 1.4279 0.04431 222 148 53 21
564 Ayn, I will not shrug it off! 1.4279 0.04523 222 150 49 23
565 They say the other guy had the whole thing in his hands...” 1.4274 0.04091 234 151 66 17
566 One of us can’t “work from home” Jean. 1.4274 0.03666 234 157 60 17
567 Taking it out for a spin.” 1.4274 0.04267 234 155 58 21
568 I just asked you to take out the garbage. You don’t need to be so dramatic!” 1.4274 0.04136 234 152 64 18
569 I left it with you for 10 minutes! 1.4274 0.04394 234 158 52 24
570 It’s a metaphor.” 1.4274 0.04310 234 156 56 22
571 Wait that's Earth? Then where are we?? 1.4274 0.04224 234 154 60 20
572 I said I'd move heaven and earth for you didn't I? 1.4274 0.04202 234 163 46 25
573 Global warming's made this a fire hazard! 1.4274 0.04267 234 155 58 21
574 I’m bowling with Zeus. 1.4274 0.04310 234 156 56 22
575 That was the agreement Carol. You can keep the Nespresso but I get everything else. 1.4274 0.04224 234 154 60 20
576 It's just until they invent maps. 1.4274 0.04352 234 157 54 23
577 I don't care if you prefer Google Earth - I still like a thing you can hold in your hands 1.4274 0.04310 234 156 56 22
578 If Zeus says it's essential work, it's essential work... 1.4274 0.04436 234 159 50 25
579 Damn right I'm returning it. I asked for it on a string. 1.4274 0.04224 234 154 60 20
580 If everyone in Argentina raises their hand, they can scratch my ass! 1.4274 0.03764 234 164 48 22
581 Dammit - could you grab a mask and tie it on for me please? 1.4274 0.04224 234 154 60 20
582 No, I can’t do it over video conference. 1.4274 0.04267 234 155 58 21
583 No, I cannot grab a gallon of milk and a loaf of bread on the way home. 1.4274 0.04267 234 155 58 21
584 We’ll take it back, but I don’t think you’re getting a refund.” 1.4273 0.04224 227 148 61 18
585 No matter how much we argue, Martha I am still considered an ‘essential worker’” 1.4273 0.04493 227 154 49 24
586 Its Earth day and its NOT a skirt 1.4273 0.04316 227 150 57 20
587 Yes, I know my sandal is untied. 1.4273 0.04449 227 153 51 23
588 Actually no, Marie, I can't "just roll it". 1.4273 0.04270 227 149 59 19
589 I'm returning it...the instruction manual is too complicated to follow. 1.4273 0.04405 227 152 53 22
590 Yes I'm sure. The guy said money-back guarantee." 1.4261 0.04093 230 148 66 16
591 This would have been easier to carry if it were flat 1.4261 0.04491 230 157 48 25
592 It feels a lot heavier after I spend a few minutes on Twitter. 1.4261 0.02550 230 166 48 16
593 Wait. Have you seen my mask? 1.4261 0.04185 230 150 62 18
594 To be honest, I keep Antarctica down there for my back. 1.4261 0.04406 230 155 52 23
595 You can't take globalism too lightly. 1.4261 0.04363 230 154 54 22
596 I keep telling you it's not a metaphor. 1.4261 0.04363 230 154 54 22
597 Broke and can't be fixed. Taking it out to the curb. 1.4261 0.04363 230 154 54 22
598 If there's any more Marie Kondo-ing,you can do it yourself! 1.4261 0.04657 230 161 40 29
599 Sisiphus and I are carpooling. 1.4261 0.04230 230 151 60 19
600 Does this world on my back make my butt look big? 1.4255 0.04379 235 159 52 24
601 You act like you've got the weight of the world on your shoulders. 1.4255 0.04379 235 159 52 24
602 Watch your back, honey. Remember what happened last time... 1.4255 0.04033 235 151 68 16
603 When you proposed to me and told me you would show me the world this is not what I had in mind..... 1.4255 0.04379 235 159 52 24
604 I’m so glad the weight of the world is behind you. 1.4255 0.04210 235 155 60 20
605 Oh for heaven’s sake, Debbie, we go through this every day! 1.4254 0.04301 228 151 57 20
606 Don’t shrug or Ayn will write a sequel” 1.4254 0.04605 228 158 43 27
607 I know. But we just can’t keep up with the maintenance anymore” 1.4254 0.04256 228 150 59 19
608 There are days I feel like the whole world is on my ass. 1.4254 0.04390 228 153 53 22
609 Yeah I'll try to remember the milk. 1.4254 0.04256 228 150 59 19
610 Tierra del Fuego is a pain in the ass. 1.4254 0.04117 228 147 65 16
611 It’s not the weight so much, it’s the constant whining. 1.4254 0.04301 228 151 57 20
612 I shrugged and now I need to go see a chiropractor 1.4254 0.04164 228 148 63 17
613 Wash your hands when you're finished. 1.4254 0.03774 228 160 47 21
614 Remember to sneeze into your elbow! 1.4254 0.04390 228 153 53 22
615 Frank, the weight of the world is suppose to be on your shoulders. No wonder you have three bulging discs. 1.4254 0.03564 228 161 47 20
616 I'll be back soon. I'm going to try to find one that works. 1.4254 0.04210 228 149 61 18
617 Don't forget 0.0041781 degrees a second. Australia needs daylight too. 1.4254 0.03037 228 156 57 14
618 We tried Zoom, but the gallery view was a nightmare. 1.4254 0.04345 228 152 55 21
619 Just my luck, Governor Cuomo reopened Rockefeller Center. 1.4254 0.04605 228 158 43 27
620 Get one that isn't broken this time. 1.4249 0.04235 233 154 59 20
621 I'm guessing you'll want me to get the door" 1.4248 0.04142 226 146 64 16
622 Quick, hand me a mask. 1.4248 0.04417 226 152 52 22
623 Sometimes I wish the flat earthers were right.” 1.4247 0.04281 219 143 59 17
624 Hon if you are going to carry the weight of the world use your legs not shoulders!” 1.4242 0.04348 231 155 54 22
625 The global warming is helping my back pain. 1.4236 0.04241 229 151 59 19
626 Because I'm an essential worker, that's why. 1.4236 0.04286 229 152 57 20
627 This was a lot easier to carry when people thought it was flat. 1.4236 0.04418 229 155 51 23
628 If I hear one more thing about Earth Day ... 1.4236 0.04196 229 150 61 18
629 Does this planet make my butt look big?” 1.4229 0.04446 227 154 50 23
630 Lift with your knees, honey. 1.4229 0.04312 227 151 56 20
631 I gave you the world, but I can take it back! 1.4229 0.03625 227 156 47 18
632 I'm just happy that I still have a job. 1.4229 0.03651 227 152 55 17
633 Make sure you wash your hands when you put that down.” 1.4222 0.04339 225 150 55 20
634 Yes, I tried holding it another way, Margie 1.4222 0.04339 225 150 55 20
635 “Oh ‘weight of the world,’ huh?!.. you’ll do anything to get out of housework.” 1.4222 0.04316 225 152 52 21
636 You think bunny slippers and bath robes just grow on trees!?!? 1.4222 0.04562 225 155 45 25
637 Atlas Kvetched 1.4222 0.04385 225 151 53 21
638 I’m going to recycle it 1.4222 0.04152 225 146 63 16
639 I know you want to throw it out, but I think we should repair it. 1.4222 0.03418 225 155 50 17
640 Apparently I’m “essential”. 1.4222 0.04430 225 152 51 22
641 I guess this doesn’t spark joy anymore?” 1.4222 0.04339 225 150 55 20
642 You know it is "Take Your Burden to Work Day." 1.4222 0.04152 225 146 63 16
643 I'll be right back. Just dropping it off at Fauci's place. 1.4222 0.04293 225 149 57 19
644 I can’t get over what a small world it is. 1.4222 0.02778 225 156 51 13
645 Next time use Google maps. 1.4222 0.04430 225 152 51 22
646 I'm in no position to shrug...both literally and figuratively. 1.4222 0.04430 225 152 51 22
647 Some people are saving the world. I’m giving it back. 1.4222 0.04293 225 149 57 19
648 Why the hell would I shrug? 1.4222 0.04006 225 153 53 19
649 Since it's contaminated, I'm throwing the damn thing out". Elwood Largis, New Faairfield, C 1.4222 0.04518 225 154 47 24
650 Shall I try Clorox or just toss it? 1.4222 0.04518 225 154 47 24
651 ''If Sisyphus calls, tell him I'm on my way." 1.4222 0.04518 225 154 47 24
652 God wants it back. 1.4222 0.04339 225 150 55 20
653 When Trump is no longer president, it will seem a lot lighter. 1.4222 0.04385 225 151 53 21
654 Tsk, I should have read the small print. ‘Head of Global Marketing’ indeed. 1.4222 0.04385 225 151 53 21
655 It might be lighter if you remove all the plastic. 1.4222 0.04316 225 152 52 21
656 You know, YOU could take out the garbage from time to time. 1.4222 0.04080 225 152 54 19
657 For your information it DOES get heavier every day. 1.4222 0.04152 225 151 55 19
658 I have to go, dear. Apparently I'm "essential." 1.4222 0.04385 225 151 53 21
659 Does this thing go in the trash or the recycling? 1.4222 0.04293 225 149 57 19
660 And lose the bunny slippers. 1.4222 0.04339 225 150 55 20
661 No, I can’t do my job via Zoom. 1.4217 0.04403 230 156 51 23
662 I'll get the door. Don't strain yourself. 1.4211 0.04342 228 153 54 21
663 It's a lot hotter than before Trump became president. 1.4211 0.04252 228 151 58 19
664 “Be honest – does the earth make my butt look big?” 1.4211 0.05169 171 117 36 18
665 You just had to look after it for 5 minutes ... 5 minutes ... 1.4208 0.03624 221 158 43 20
666 I just shrug when I hear Sisyphus complain. 1.4208 0.04153 221 143 63 15
667 I liked it better when the earth was flat. 1.4208 0.04394 221 148 53 20
668 Well you CLEARY didn’t follow the maintenance instructions.” 1.4204 0.04185 226 148 61 17
669 Atlas: I give humans the world for one second........” 1.4204 0.03918 226 150 60 16
670 So dramatic. Why can't you just wear the "WE ARE THE WORLD" T-shirt I bought you? 1.4204 0.03816 226 153 56 17
671 Zeus has gotten into that reenactment crap, and I'm starting to get tired of it. 1.4204 0.04090 226 146 65 15
672 No, no, no... It goes ‘He’s got the whole world in his HANDS’, honey.” 1.4201 0.04422 219 147 52 20
673 She's not heavy, she's our mother 1.4201 0.04178 219 142 62 15
674 Oh God, Atlas. Don’t be so dramatic.” 1.4201 0.04374 219 151 46 22
675 It’s no longer sparking joy” 1.4201 0.04653 219 152 42 25
676 Don’t start season 2 without me 1.4201 0.04516 219 149 48 22
677 The world needs a break. I'm taking it for a walk. 1.4201 0.03496 219 147 59 13
678 It might be your house, but it's my world! 1.4201 0.04422 219 147 52 20
679 This debate over global warming just burns my ass. 1.4201 0.03215 219 153 48 16
680 If you could get the door, that’d be great. 1.4201 0.03496 219 146 59 13
681 Sorry, Ayn, I just can't shrug this one off. 1.4201 0.04698 219 153 40 26
682 Make sure you don’t touch China this time. 1.4201 0.04516 219 149 48 22
683 This was a hell of a lot easier back when people thought it was flat. 1.4201 0.04326 219 145 56 18
684 Quit complaining! It's a small world after all. 1.4201 0.04562 219 150 46 23
685 Just get the door - I've got the rest. 1.4201 0.04562 219 150 46 23
686 Honey, trash day was yesterday. 1.4201 0.04374 219 146 54 19
687 Thank goodness I'm only 5 billion years from retirement. 1.4201 0.04562 219 149 46 23
688 It’s easier than homeschooling. 1.4201 0.03082 219 153 52 14
689 Remember not to touch your face.” 1.4182 0.04499 220 150 48 22
690 I’m going to see if the neighbors will trade this for a roll of toilet paper 1.4182 0.04545 220 151 46 23
691 How many times have I told you to stop bringing your work home with you? 1.4182 0.04164 220 143 62 15
692 Well I ordered a world atlas. Not Atlas with the world. Please take yourself to UPS and they will pack you up and ship you back to Amazon. Easy peasy! 1.4182 0.04545 220 151 46 23
693 Make sure you sanitize it. 1.4174 0.04189 218 142 61 15
694 Don’t worry, I’ll stay 1,261,154,400 feet away from the moon.” 1.4174 0.04434 218 147 51 20
695 Bunny slippers? What are you: six?” 1.4174 0.04386 218 151 45 22
696 I know it’s a lot Carol, but have you seen what the first responders and essential workers have been doing? 1.4174 0.04289 218 144 57 17
697 Timmy forgot his Earth Day project. 1.4174 0.04434 218 147 51 20
698 Really? You need to have this conversation right now? 1.4174 0.04575 218 150 45 23
699 If I act like I'm carrying the weight of the world on my shoulders, Marge, it's only because I am. 1.4174 0.02797 218 154 51 13
700 Oh right, my mask ! 1.4174 0.04434 218 147 51 20
701 What if I decide I'm non-essential, huh? What then? 1.4174 0.04239 218 143 59 16
702 Yeah! Yeah!! I 'm wearing my truss! 1.4174 0.03621 218 149 54 15
703 Just try Google Maps, Dear 1.4174 0.04575 218 150 45 23
704 'You'll work from home,' he says. 'Piece of cake,' he says..." 1.4174 0.04338 218 145 55 18
705 Still, a lot lighter than Uranus. 1.4174 0.04575 218 150 45 23
706 I move heaven and earth, and chiropractors are still out-of-network. 1.4174 0.04386 218 146 53 19
707 You’ll get this back when you learn to be more responsible with precious things.” 1.4159 0.04541 214 146 47 21
708 Hey, I don’t love it either but until they fix that statue, the bank is paying me to stand out in front.” 1.4155 0.04370 219 147 53 19
709 Recycle or compost? 1.4155 0.04224 219 144 59 16
710 Cuomo says I’m essential. 1.4155 0.04465 219 149 49 21
711 I'm taking it out for some fresh air. 1.4155 0.04273 219 145 57 17
712 Don't forget it's the Solstice. Don't wait up for me. 1.4155 0.04174 219 143 61 15
713 You could’ve at least mentioned in the advertisement that you lived in a sixth-floor walk-up. 1.4155 0.04418 219 148 51 20
714 I swear to god the next idiot who says 'You know it really is an oblate spheroid' gets it dropped right on his damn toe! 1.4155 0.04224 219 144 59 16
715 Are you sure it doesn’t spark joy?” 1.4151 0.04716 212 148 40 24
716 Just heard the bowling alleys are open in Georgia... 1.4151 0.04571 212 145 46 21
717 Stop it. I have enough people on my back already. 1.4151 0.04472 212 143 50 19
718 Dammit, everyone else is working from home," Atlas shrugged 1.4151 0.04268 212 139 58 15
719 It’s like the whole damn world gets to work from home except for me! 1.4151 0.04571 212 145 46 21
720 I preferred it when I had the whole world in my hands. 1.4143 0.04748 210 147 39 24
721 Our deepest thanks to all the essential workers who carry the weight of the world on their backs 1.4143 0.04295 210 138 57 15
722 They said no house calls because of the lockdown. We have to bring it in if we want it fixed. 1.4143 0.03847 210 145 49 14
723 I need to take this out for a spin. 1.4143 0.04451 210 141 51 18
724 I’ll show everyone what a globalist looks like! 1.4143 0.04295 210 138 57 15
725 Don’t just stand there! Can’t you see my leg is stuck under the door? 1.4143 0.03992 210 155 32 23
726 I feel like I'm forgetting something." 1.4131 0.04011 213 148 47 18
727 Marriage. Promised you the Moon, can't handle the Earth. 1.4131 0.03214 213 148 49 14
728 I get that from your angle it appears to be round, but that’s just what NASA wants you to think...” 1.4123 0.04279 211 139 57 15
729 Next time you borrow my stuff, try not to break it, ok?" 1.4115 0.04616 209 144 44 21
730 Sisyphus works from home..." 1.4115 0.04665 209 145 42 22
731 It’s a leap year so I may be home late. 1.4115 0.04412 209 140 52 17
732 Well, if you must know, I’ll be giving this to someone who cares.” 1.4115 0.03094 209 144 51 12
733 Don't forget to wash your hands" 1.4115 0.04464 209 141 50 18
734 It was on sale. 1.4115 0.04464 209 141 50 18
735 Unfortunately we can’t all work from home 1.4115 0.04252 209 137 58 14
736 Stand up straight, you look like you have the weight of the world on your shoulders. 1.4115 0.04359 209 139 54 16
737 Why can't I get a GPS unit and go digital like all the other Atlases? 1.4115 0.04515 209 142 48 19
738 You know what the doctor said. Lift with your knees, honey. 1.4115 0.04714 209 146 40 23
739 I gotta go hose it off, it’s got some sort of virus on it. 1.4115 0.04566 209 143 46 20
740 Antarctica relieves my sciatica! 1.4115 0.04252 209 136 58 14
741 Earth Day my ass! 1.4115 0.04412 209 140 52 17
742 Obviously I'm "essential". 1.4115 0.04198 209 136 60 13
743 I think it's time earth had a little bit of fresh air. 1.4115 0.04252 209 137 58 14
744 No, I cannot find Carmen San Diego. 1.4115 0.04359 209 138 54 16
745 What I really resent is the weight of all the idiots. 1.4115 0.04665 209 145 42 22
746 Now remember not to shrug. 1.4115 0.03609 209 143 47 14
747 Just taking it out for repairs. 1.4115 0.04464 209 141 50 18
748 Does anybody even like Bring Your Planet to Work Day? 1.4115 0.04515 209 142 48 19
749 You're lucky it's not Jupiter. 1.4115 0.04464 209 141 49 18
750 Well yes, I could just roll it, but then I wouldn’t seem so Godlike, would I? 1.4115 0.04359 209 139 54 16
751 Sure Sara, like I don’t have the weight of the world on my back already, I’ll run out and get you a bagel! 1.4115 0.04306 209 138 56 15
752 Straighten up! You look like you’re carrying the world on your shoulders 1.4115 0.04412 209 140 52 17
753 Before you criticize my footwear look at your slippers 1.4115 0.04515 209 142 48 19
754 Yes, Edith. I'll be sure to wash my hands before I come home. 1.4115 0.04616 209 144 44 21
755 I'm not playing anymore. I'm taking my ball and going home. 1.4115 0.04306 209 138 56 15
756 Yes, it's heavy, but I'm just glad to be employed right now. 1.4115 0.04252 209 137 58 14
757 Well if I’m being honest, Atlas, it does make your ass look fat. 1.4115 0.04665 209 145 42 22
758 Isn't the weight suppose to be on your shoulders? 1.4115 0.04386 209 142 49 18
759 Zeus told me Hades can have it. 1.4115 0.04306 209 138 56 15
760 Yes, I think I'm "essential personnel". And yes, I'll keep it 6 feet from other worlds. 1.4115 0.04252 209 137 58 14
761 Yeah, Edith, I am fuckin' "essential". 1.4115 0.04412 209 140 52 17
762 Well aren’t you special standing there in your bunny slippers telling me how to do my job! 1.4115 0.04306 209 138 56 15
763 You knew I was a God when you married me. 1.4115 0.04386 209 141 48 18
764 Remember Edith, you used to be my world." 1.4112 0.03499 214 158 36 20
765 You know honey when I told you you carried the world on your back, I was speaking metaphorically 1.4106 0.04334 207 137 55 15
766 Quit complaining Atlas, at least you still have a job. 1.4095 0.04395 210 141 52 17
767 Hey, with all the gyms closed, you gotta improvise. 1.4095 0.04343 210 140 54 16
768 I told you to get something with more arch support.. 1.4095 0.04395 210 141 52 17
769 Try tilting it on its axis. 1.4095 0.04498 210 143 48 19
770 I'm just going for a spin around sun. 1.4095 0.03782 210 145 50 15
771 Damn. Can you go grab my mask? 1.4095 0.04548 210 144 46 20
772 Do you believe me now? It’s not flat.” 1.4089 0.04163 203 131 61 11
773 You can take the house...” 1.4089 0.04555 203 138 47 18
774 A dozen golden apples from Hera's. Anything else? 1.4089 0.04555 203 138 47 18
775 That's great, Bill, but someone still has to take out the trash. 1.4089 0.04391 203 135 53 15
776 'Wait, what's Google maps?' 1.4085 0.04142 213 139 61 13
777 I told you the flat earth theory would be easier to move" 1.4080 0.02315 201 144 46 10
778 They just don’t understand the gravity of what I do. I’ll see you at 6.” 1.4080 0.04248 201 131 58 12
779 'It's the damned turtle's day off.' 1.4080 0.04640 201 138 44 19
780 You work at a tech company Steve, get over yourself. 1.4080 0.04364 201 133 54 14
781 Of course I washed my hands! 1.4080 0.04364 201 133 54 14
782 ‘Just put over there by the sun.’ 1.4080 0.04420 201 134 52 15
783 Careful honey...That’s how you threw your back last time. 1.4080 0.03015 201 142 46 12
784 When’s the last time this thing sparked joy in your life?” 1.4080 0.04364 201 133 54 14
785 Yeah, yeah. Earth Day, every damn day. 1.4080 0.03097 201 139 52 10
786 What ever you do - don't shrug! 1.4080 0.04640 201 138 44 19
787 Maybe I should reconsider that Sisyphus gig. 1.4080 0.04364 201 133 54 14
788 Say hi to Sisyphus for me. 1.4080 0.04586 201 137 46 18
789 So your Amazon delivery is delayed, go cry me an ocean 1.4080 0.04586 201 137 46 18
790 And a quart of 1%. Got it. 1.4080 0.04640 201 138 44 19
791 You do know the car has GPS, right? 1.4080 0.04951 201 144 32 25
792 I give you the world and its still not good enough! 1.4080 0.04586 201 137 46 18
793 I'll be back later; I just need to some space 1.4080 0.04476 201 135 50 16
794 Gravitas! How can you say I lack gravitas? 1.4080 0.04640 201 138 44 19
795 You’d be grumpy too if you had Mt. Everest poking you in the back! 1.4080 0.04531 201 136 48 17
796 13,170,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 pounds... but who's counting? 1.4080 0.04335 201 135 51 15
797 Why don't you try rolling? 1.4080 0.04693 201 139 42 20
798 While you're out, honey, would you mind picking up a few things at Whole Foods? 1.4069 0.04483 204 138 49 17
799 I told you, Carol, it's not a 'stupid hobby,' it's my JOB. I support the Earth and I support this family, and I DESERVE SOME GOD DAMN RESPECT! 1.4069 0.04590 204 140 45 19
800 Yes, the weight of the world is on my shoulders. 1.4059 0.04674 202 140 42 20
801 Oh great, Sisyphus is driving the car pool? This ride is going to take forever. 1.4059 0.04513 202 137 48 17
802 Organic waste is on Thursdays, right? 1.4053 0.04594 190 128 47 15
803 Going out for a spin. 1.4051 0.04740 195 135 41 19
804 Remind me to file the Andes down tonight. 1.4051 0.04627 195 133 45 17
805 I’m just the delivery guy, it’s your problem now. 1.4050 0.04707 200 139 41 20
806 At least you get to go outside." 1.4050 0.04375 200 133 53 14
807 Recycle or Trash?" 1.4050 0.04544 200 136 47 17
808 oh no, don't worry about it Pam, I've got the door, it's fine" 1.4050 0.04375 200 133 53 14
809 I think it’ll be easier once the ice melts.” 1.4050 0.04375 200 133 53 14
810 I'm taking it outside to get some sun!" 1.4050 0.04544 200 136 47 17
811 I know you’re essential, but there’s no need to carry the weight of the world on your back” 1.4050 0.04654 200 138 43 19
812 Does this go with the recycling, Marge? 1.4050 0.03332 200 142 45 13
813 I’ll see if we can get you an undamaged one by the end of next week” 1.4050 0.04139 200 139 45 16
814 Yeah, and Sisyphus was declared essential too, I know." 1.4050 0.04544 200 136 47 17
815 Yes, Karen, I’m an essential worker. No, Karen, I can’t just work from home. 1.4050 0.04654 200 138 43 19
816 You’re not sparking much joy right now, either!” 1.4050 0.03016 200 150 34 16
817 My doctor said it should have me removed. 1.4050 0.04318 200 132 55 13
818 Taking this back. You guys clearly made a mess of it. 1.4050 0.04489 200 135 49 16
819 Atlas: The original essential worker 1.4050 0.04432 200 134 51 15
820 Almost forgot--honey, hand me my mask? 1.4050 0.04654 200 138 43 19
821 If you ask me, Ayn Rand shrugged. 1.4050 0.04760 200 140 39 21
822 No, it doesn’t go faster when you sing “He’s got the whole world in his hands.” 1.4050 0.04654 200 138 43 19
823 Honey, aren’t you forgetting your mask? 1.4050 0.04404 200 136 48 16
824 Yes, I have the grocery list! 1.4050 0.03294 200 147 37 15
825 Who do you think you are, Anthony Fauci? 1.4050 0.04916 200 143 33 24
826 It’s broken again, I’m returning it! 1.4050 0.02614 200 146 41 12
827 What?" he shrugged,"The gyms are closed. 1.4050 0.03332 200 137 53 10
828 You’re wrong Ayn. It’s a stoop not a shrug.” 1.4050 0.04489 200 135 49 16
829 Just another earth day 1.4050 0.04544 200 136 47 17
830 Yes, honey. But I'm just not sure the recycling truck will take it. 1.4050 0.04489 200 135 49 16
831 I'm returning this to Amazon, it has some serious flaws. 1.4050 0.04654 200 138 43 19
832 It's defective. I'm returning it. 1.4050 0.04544 200 136 47 17
833 Yes, Zelda. The weight of the world IS on my shoulders. 1.4050 0.04432 200 134 51 15
834 They said I’m “essential.” 1.4050 0.04599 200 137 45 18
835 Driving me nuts -- just off the coast of Oman. Scratch hard, but please don't start a tsunami this time. 1.4050 0.04760 200 140 39 21
836 Remember to drop off UK outside of European Union! 1.4050 0.04654 200 138 43 19
837 I guess you're still an essential worker, then? 1.4050 0.04544 200 136 47 17
838 You said you wouldn't leave me for the world! 1.4050 0.04654 200 138 43 19
839 If you feel multiple tremors throughout the day, blame it on last night’s bean soup. 1.4050 0.03724 200 145 38 17
840 Goodbye, Ayn. I can’t be a god AND your muse. Something has to give. 1.4050 0.04375 200 138 45 17
841 I'll try, but I'm pretty sure it's too late to return this. 1.4050 0.04139 200 134 53 13
842 So that’s what happens when you shrug 1.4050 0.04654 200 138 43 19
843 Honey, where is your mask? 1.4050 0.04432 200 134 51 15
844 I’m just going out for a quick spin. 1.4050 0.04375 200 133 53 14
845 If you carry it like that, you’re going to melt Antarctica. 1.4050 0.04760 200 140 39 21
846 That’s not proper form. Did Crossfit teach you nothing? 1.4050 0.04432 200 134 51 15
847 Don't give me any nonsense about love making the world go round. 1.4050 0.04654 200 138 43 19
848 Bob, deflating it won't flatten the curve." 1.4049 0.04726 205 144 39 22
849 For God’s sake, Earl. No, it doesn’t make your butt look big. 1.4039 0.04386 203 136 52 15
850 I’m giving this to Greta. She’s ready and willing.” 1.4031 0.04575 191 129 47 15
851 God I wish I'd worn my other shoes. 1.4031 0.03996 191 130 49 12
852 If it's not too much to ask, Martha, put my mask on me. 1.4031 0.04254 196 128 57 11
853 Why don’t you tell me again about how it’s a small world after all?” 1.4030 0.04358 201 139 45 17
854 I use it for the topographical relief 1.4030 0.04415 201 135 51 15
855 Shoulders, it's "the weight of the world on your shoulders", not your back. 1.4030 0.02793 201 149 38 14
856 I know, use the car pool lane. 1.4030 0.04001 201 138 48 14
857 Don't talk to me about Responsibilities. 1.4030 0.04608 201 141 40 20
858 You should be lifting with your knees. 1.4021 0.04698 194 134 42 18
859 'Remember to lift with your legs...' 1.4021 0.04344 194 128 54 12
860 I’m leaving. You can keep the moon. 1.4021 0.04641 194 133 44 17
861 You’re not Jesus honey, please put on your N95 before trying to save the world!” 1.4021 0.03212 194 137 46 11
862 If I hold it this way, I won't be touching my face. 1.4021 0.04583 194 132 46 16
863 Archimedes had a better idea!! 1.4021 0.04465 194 130 50 14
864 Retire? No way! This job is the world to me. 1.4021 0.04405 194 129 52 13
865 Sisyphus...get me a quart of milk, a dozen eggs and a pound of Feta on your way back. 1.4021 0.04810 194 136 38 20
866 At least it's not on my shoulders anymore. 1.4021 0.04465 194 130 50 14
867 Oh ok. Now I see that whole "weight of the world" thing wasn't just a metaphor. 1.4021 0.04405 194 129 52 13
868 You really shouldn't go out without your face mask. 1.4021 0.04755 194 135 40 19
869 if only it was flat..... 1.4021 0.04641 194 133 44 17
870 Sometimes I really wish it were flat" 1.4012 0.04753 162 107 45 10
871 Well working from home has been hard on all of us, Debbie.” 1.4010 0.04310 192 126 55 11
872 I’m just taking this outside to cool down. 1.4010 0.04556 192 130 47 15
873 I’m not sure what’s wrong with it. I tried turning it off and on again like you suggested.” 1.4010 0.04496 192 129 49 14
874 Don’t let the door hit Eurasia!” 1.4010 0.04556 192 130 47 15
875 God designated me as an essential worker, might be home late tonight.” 1.4010 0.04615 192 131 45 16
876 I'm tired of losing arguments to those Flat Earthers. 1.4010 0.04435 192 128 51 13
877 Yeah yeah, I'll keep her 6 feet from the other planets. 1.4010 0.04556 192 130 47 15
878 It’s meaningless if you don’t engage your core. 1.4010 0.03770 192 137 38 15
879 Now you tell me to put on the mask!? 1.4010 0.04732 192 133 41 18
880 How many more times do we have to get this thing fixed?! 1.4010 0.04674 192 132 43 17
881 Does it look like I can take the trash out on my way out? 1.4010 0.04615 192 131 45 16
882 Pick up milk and eggs on the way home. 1.4010 0.03095 192 137 44 11
883 I will be home after I finish my orbit. 1.4010 0.04496 192 129 49 14
884 Are you sure you can't work from home? 1.4010 0.03546 192 135 45 12
885 Give that damn thing to Prometheus, I'm sick of having it in the house. 1.4010 0.04310 192 126 55 11
886 15 minutes to sunrise and you want to talk about your mother? 1.4010 0.04789 192 134 39 19
887 Honey, if this thing gets any hotter I’m going to need to borrow your oven mitts. 1.4010 0.02769 192 141 39 12
888 Oh just shrug it off will you already 1.4010 0.04674 192 132 43 17
889 Clearly,we have different ideas about “essential worker.” 1.4010 0.04615 192 131 45 16
890 Today’s the day, Margo. They can take this job and shrug it. 1.4010 0.04674 192 132 43 17
891 Would you mind helping me with my mask? 1.4010 0.03429 192 136 44 12
892 Not every essential worker is a doctor, babe. 1.4010 0.03005 192 140 38 13
893 “Fine! I’ll put it back where I found it.” 1.4010 0.04298 197 130 55 12
894 No, Pleione, “Lift with your knees” is NOT helpful. 1.4000 0.04622 195 134 44 17
895 Ya know you should really lift the weight of the world with your legs and not your back. 1.4000 0.04622 195 134 44 17
896 Carl, I recognize that you're carrying the weight of the world right now, but it's the tunic and sandals I don't get." 1.4000 0.04767 190 132 40 18
897 How'd you feel if the weight of the world rested on your backside 1.4000 0.04622 195 134 44 17
898 I tried to put it in recycling but apparently its trash. 1.4000 0.04939 190 135 34 21
899 Of course I'm an essential worker! I have the whole world on my shoulders 1.4000 0.04678 195 135 42 18
900 Ok, you've made your point. I thought you were using a metaphor. 1.4000 0.04402 190 126 52 12
901 Zuse doesn't wear a mask and neither do I. 1.4000 0.04527 190 128 48 14
902 That's right, Margaret. I'm taking my ball and I'm going home. 1.4000 0.04735 195 136 40 19
903 Some days it feels less like a workout and more like a burden. 1.4000 0.04588 190 129 46 15
904 I still think you’re the one with excess baggage.” 1.3990 0.04537 193 131 47 15
905 Don’t forget the Moon on your way out...” 1.3990 0.04769 193 135 39 19
906 Can you at least give me a hand with China? 1.3990 0.04712 193 134 41 18
907 I didn't roll my eyes, honey. I just shrugged! 1.3990 0.04417 193 129 51 13
908 Simmer down, Ayn. I'm just going for a walk. 1.3990 0.04596 193 132 45 16
909 When I said I would move heaven and earth for you, I didn't mean it literally. 1.3980 0.04429 196 132 50 14
910 A roller bag? Really? That’s your amazing solution?” 1.3979 0.04629 191 131 44 16
911 Some days I wish the Flat-Earthers were right. 1.3979 0.04569 191 130 46 15
912 You don’t get it - I can’t retire - they need me. 1.3979 0.04629 191 131 44 16
913 Did the earth move for you darling? 1.3979 0.04688 191 132 42 17
914 This is what I mean with “overly dramatic”. 1.3979 0.04918 191 136 34 21
915 Have you seen my keys?” 1.3979 0.03955 191 133 45 13
916 I don't know how the health care workers do this everyday." 1.3979 0.04629 191 131 44 16
917 I'm going to show this to the flat earth society 1.3979 0.04804 191 133 38 19
918 Are you sure it's still under warranty?" 1.3979 0.04861 191 135 36 20
919 Apparently, it didn’t spark joy. 1.3979 0.04569 191 130 46 15
920 I'm taking it back. Please, no more impulse purchases. 1.3979 0.04569 191 130 46 15
921 I'll put it out next to the recycling. Somebody's bound to have a use for it. 1.3979 0.04569 191 130 46 15
922 And don't bring your work home with you from now on. 1.3979 0.04569 191 130 46 15
923 I’ll get the recycling later 1.3979 0.03777 191 128 54 9
924 Yes, last time I checked, carrying the entire world on your back is considered "essential work". 1.3979 0.04747 191 133 40 18
925 You could have told me to begin with that you wanted one with rings. 1.3979 0.04569 191 130 46 15
926 Seems heavier this week... 1.3979 0.04569 191 130 46 15
927 Yes dear, I know the Atlantic is leaking on my robe. 1.3979 0.04629 191 131 44 16
928 Don’t wait with dinner. I’ll be an eternity. 1.3979 0.04508 191 129 48 14
929 Atlas shrugged, my foot. This thing weighs a ton. 1.3979 0.04629 191 131 44 16
930 Well, yes I did order an Atlas, but I really just wanted a book. 1.3968 0.04722 189 131 41 17
931 Damn. I think my sandal strap just came loose.” 1.3968 0.04722 189 131 41 17
932 “Next Earth Day I’m bringing in cookies.” 1.3968 0.04662 189 130 43 16
933 You’re wearing that to work? 1.3968 0.03323 189 131 49 9
934 it be easier to carry if it was flat" 1.3968 0.04662 189 130 43 16
935 I was going to take care of it once I had my coffee, you don't have to be so dramatic 1.3968 0.04662 189 130 43 16
936 And I’m taking the cat too. 1.3968 0.04414 189 126 51 12
937 You’re supposed to carry it on your shoulders, Derek. 1.3968 0.04662 189 130 43 16
938 Honey, don't forget the toilet paper. 1.3968 0.04540 189 127 47 14
939 Take a vacation. Have fun. Jim would manage earth just fine. That's what you said Karen. That's what you said. 1.3968 0.04478 189 127 49 13
940 Honey, are you sure Costco’s gonna take it back?” 1.3968 0.04840 189 133 37 19
941 Dr. Anthony Fauci heading to the next press briefing. 1.3968 0.04722 189 131 41 17
942 Yeah, yeah... try it backwards and in high heels.” 1.3968 0.04509 189 135 36 18
943 Apparently God isn’t smart enough to get Zoom installed so he wants to meet in person. I’m asking for hazard pay this time.” 1.3968 0.02769 189 140 38 11
944 Well they DO think I'm essential, so don't wait up." 1.3968 0.04602 189 129 45 15
945 Our kid couldn't do his Solar System report about Mercury? 1.3968 0.04540 189 128 47 14
946 I am still retired. It's just freelance. 1.3968 0.02557 189 137 40 10
947 I'll pick up the moon from the cleaners on the way back. 1.3968 0.04540 189 128 47 14
948 Damn, I forgot my mask. 1.3968 0.03568 189 133 43 12
949 I'm taking her to the ER. 1.3968 0.04840 189 133 37 19
950 Pick up milk while you’re out. 1.3968 0.04782 189 132 39 18
951 I’m bringing it to a remote location where it can be quarantined 1.3968 0.03723 189 131 47 11
952 At least I don't have to roll it up that hill anymore! 1.3968 0.04350 189 125 53 11
953 You know hun, I think you could have made the same point if you’d used styrofoam. 1.3968 0.04478 189 127 49 13
954 Hopefully, tomorrow's Workout of the Day will be easier. 1.3968 0.02665 189 136 44 9
955 It's got a virus. I'm finally going to unload this thing. 1.3968 0.04840 189 133 37 19
956 It was with the latest addition of Grecian sandles that Eleanor knew her husband's delusions of grandeur had gone too far. 1.3958 0.04668 192 133 42 17
957 Yes, I know what my therapist said, but someone has to do it 1.3958 0.03615 192 136 42 13
958 Stop acting like the world revolves around you! 1.3958 0.04726 192 134 40 18
959 It could have been Jupiter. 1.3958 0.04668 192 133 42 17
960 I really thought Bill and Melinda might be taking over.... 1.3958 0.04609 192 132 44 16
961 Those shoes?” 1.3957 0.04572 187 127 46 14
962 Does my butt make the earth look big” 1.3957 0.04757 187 130 40 17
963 “Oh yeah Suzanne? You really want to talk about who carries the emotional burden?” 1.3957 0.04935 187 133 34 20
964 By all means, just stand there. 1.3957 0.04572 187 127 46 14
965 Can you pick up some milk on the way home? 1.3957 0.04877 187 132 36 19
966 Fine I’ll put it in the garage with all the other broken stuff...” 1.3957 0.04696 187 129 42 16
967 We’ve only had it 200,000 years. We‘re getting the full refund. 1.3957 0.04635 187 128 44 15
968 Ok, if it no longer brings you joy.” 1.3957 0.04572 187 127 46 14
969 It’s fine, Helen, it’s not like I need help or anything.” 1.3957 0.04509 187 126 48 13
970 You never learned to delegate 1.3957 0.04572 187 127 46 14
971 I know you have a lot on your shoulder but don’t forget to buy milk. 1.3957 0.04109 187 134 36 16
972 Don't forget your mask, gloves and hand sanitizer! 1.3957 0.04178 187 121 58 8
973 Zeus claims I'm an essential worker. 1.3957 0.04509 187 126 48 13
974 Its time to social distance. 1.3957 0.04509 187 126 48 13
975 Jeez! Last year you complained about the monkey. 1.3957 0.04509 187 126 48 13
976 Yes, to the dump. Thing's been sitting in the attic for billions of years. 1.3957 0.04635 187 128 44 15
977 Could you at least help carry out the moon? 1.3957 0.04877 187 132 36 19
978 Watch where you’re going with that! 1.3957 0.03930 187 135 37 15
979 Essential, Lois. Essential. 1.3957 0.04877 187 132 36 19
980 Oh, I’ll be late tonight, I promised Sisyphus we’d go bowling. 1.3957 0.04993 187 134 32 21
981 Yes, dear, I am sure my job is considered essential 1.3957 0.04696 187 129 42 16
982 I’ll look at the coffee maker after I finish taking out the trash. 1.3957 0.04380 187 124 52 11
983 Next time, why don't you use Google maps like everyone else—instead of ordering Atlas from Amazon?" 1.3957 0.04817 187 131 38 18
984 For the last time, Pleione, I'll remember not to shrug! 1.3957 0.04314 187 122 54 10
985 . . . and call Zeus. Tell him I'm on my way. 1.3957 0.04635 187 128 44 15
986 We'll talk later. Can't you see I have enough on my back ?? 1.3957 0.04817 187 131 38 18
987 Stop fussing. If I drop it it's not the end of the world! 1.3956 0.04724 182 125 42 15
988 Atlas’ wife shrugged. 1.3947 0.04300 190 133 42 15
989 Even Sisyphus works from home, why can’t you? 1.3947 0.04761 190 133 39 18
990 ‘Don’t forget to get milk.’ 1.3947 0.04702 190 132 41 17
991 And somehow I still make minimum wage... “essential worker” my a** 1.3947 0.04582 190 130 45 15
992 They said the whole world is supposed to stay home, sweetheart.” 1.3947 0.04819 190 134 37 19
993 I told you. Should have made it flat. 1.3947 0.03436 190 136 42 12
994 How many rolls of toilet paper do you think I can get for this? 1.3947 0.04582 190 130 45 15
995 Don’t wait up honey, I have to work late tonight... I’m going to Hell in a hand basket. 1.3938 0.04410 193 130 50 13
996 “I think you should have disinfected it first” 1.3936 0.04737 188 131 40 17
997 Yes, Marge, I am essential. 1.3936 0.04796 188 132 38 18
998 You have everything you need to take on the world, they said. It’ll be easy, they said” 1.3936 0.03239 188 134 42 10
999 I'm leaving you...you'll myth me someday 1.3936 0.04855 188 133 36 19
1000 Unless the apocalypse comes, I'll be back for dinner. 1.3936 0.04426 188 126 50 12
1001 I hate bringing my work home. 1.3936 0.04490 188 127 48 13
1002 Time to trade up! 1.3936 0.04913 188 134 34 20
1003 Of course I won't drop the ball. 1.3936 0.03951 188 123 53 8
1004 'Could be worse, I could be a health worker.' 1.3936 0.04426 188 126 50 12
1005 I'm leaving and I'm taking your world with me. 1.3936 0.02191 188 142 34 11
1006 Screw Ayn Rand. I don't like shrugging AND I need a union. 1.3936 0.04394 188 127 47 13
1007 You were my world. 1.3934 0.04639 183 125 44 14
1008 What? You know that Thursday is my bowling night! 1.3934 0.03180 183 131 42 9
1009 I didn't mean it literally Brian. 1.3934 0.04767 183 127 40 16
1010 God, I miss the days it was still flat!" 1.3927 0.04502 191 130 47 14
1011 All the guys are meeting and bringing their planets. 1.3927 0.04563 191 131 45 15
1012 At first I just shrugged, but now I have back pain.” 1.3925 0.04710 186 129 41 16
1013 Well, welcome to my world! 1.3923 0.04540 181 122 47 12
1014 I can't just shrug it off Ayn 1.3923 0.04540 181 122 47 12
1015 Great, nine billion people coughing into my shoulder. 1.3923 0.04332 181 123 45 12
1016 It doesn't bring me joy any more. 1.3923 0.04929 181 128 35 18
1017 I would’ve given you the world, Karen” 1.3922 0.05014 153 104 38 11
1018 I've been doing this for thousands of years, Helen. Trust me when I say there's not enough bandwidth to do it from home" 1.3915 0.04471 189 128 48 13
1019 It needs a good cleaning. 1.3915 0.04656 189 131 42 16
1020 It’s okay if I drop it, it’s already broken beyond repair.” 1.3913 0.04285 184 121 54 9
1021 Yes, it IS the end of the world. 1.3913 0.04869 184 130 36 18
1022 This place weighed a lot less when there were ice caps. 1.3913 0.04619 184 126 44 14
1023 Take it back and get a little planet, maybe with a nice ring. 1.3913 0.04930 184 131 34 19
1024 Well, some metaphors matter to me! 1.3913 0.04682 184 127 42 15
1025 Since trump won't listen, I am putting this for 40 days QUARANTINE myself 1.3911 0.04840 179 125 38 16
1026 I prefer the world on a string. 1.3911 0.04708 179 123 42 14
1027 For this I got a masters in Greek Studies? 1.3911 0.04840 179 125 38 16
1028 No mask? No gloves? 1.3911 0.04362 179 123 44 12
1029 Why can't you be like normal husbands and just admit you're going out bowling?! 1.3911 0.04641 179 122 44 13
1030 Have you considered a backpack? 1.3911 0.03151 179 131 37 11
1031 I don't want that disease-ridden thing in the house. 1.3911 0.04968 179 127 34 18
1032 Don’t forget to wash your hands when you put that down. 1.3901 0.04717 182 126 41 15
1033 Didn’t spark joy.” 1.3901 0.04906 182 129 35 18
1034 Don't forget to turn once 24 hours." 1.3896 0.05155 154 107 34 13
1035 It isn't going to carry itself. 1.3896 0.05072 154 106 36 12
1036 Does this go in the recycling or compost bin? 1.3892 0.05141 185 136 26 23
1037 Yes, I’ll pick up some toilet paper.” 1.3889 0.04882 180 127 36 17
1038 I'm not suffering from delusions of grandeur. I'm suffering from grandeur. 1.3889 0.04945 180 128 34 18
1039 I’m taking this thing to the cleaners. 1.3889 0.04687 180 124 42 14
1040 Thanks for taking care of her, but I probably won’t be asking you to babysit again anytime soon.” 1.3876 0.04586 178 121 45 12
1041 “I’ve got something that I’ve just got to get off my back!” 1.3876 0.04855 178 125 37 16
1042 George, I don't think they'll let you bowl with that, even if it is the grand reopening." 1.3876 0.04586 178 121 45 12
1043 You can’t return it. The warranty expired a billion years ago.” 1.3876 0.04822 178 127 34 17
1044 We can’t really afford for you to shrug things off right now honey.” 1.3876 0.04855 178 125 37 16
1045 Maybe take the flat one today? 1.3876 0.04920 178 126 35 17
1046 Because I’m ‘essential!’” 1.3876 0.04225 178 116 55 7
1047 This is sick, I need to take it to a hospital. 1.3876 0.04855 178 125 37 16
1048 Why didn't you just call Atlas like I asked?" 1.3876 0.04654 178 122 43 13
1049 Are you coming back for the moon or is he taking a separate car? 1.3876 0.04789 178 124 39 15
1050 How it’s always my turn to walk the Earth?” 1.3876 0.04586 178 121 45 12
1051 You know, it’ll be faster if you just roll it. 1.3876 0.04789 178 124 39 15
1052 Don’t forget dear, lift with your knees not with your back. 1.3876 0.04722 178 123 41 14
1053 There’s less pollution now. It’s lighter. 1.3876 0.04654 178 122 43 13
1054 Call Cuomo and tell him I’m on my way. 1.3876 0.04722 178 123 41 14
1055 I'll be home at sunset. 1.3876 0.03873 178 129 36 13
1056 It feels a lot heavier today. 1.3876 0.04654 178 122 43 13
1057 I know! I know! One quart of low fat milk and the Greek Yogurt! 1.3876 0.04586 178 126 37 15
1058 Your home workout routine has reached biblical levels. 1.3876 0.03439 178 139 22 17
1059 Seriously, Ayn, get off my back about the shrugging. 1.3876 0.04920 178 126 35 17
1060 Say goodbye to the world as we knew it! 1.3876 0.04409 178 120 45 11
1061 I'll be working late. We have to roll out the new climate change today. 1.3876 0.04654 178 122 43 13
1062 To qualify for unemployment, I have to carry this for 40 days and 40 nights. 1.3876 0.04516 178 120 47 11
1063 Nag! Nag! Nag! For God's sake woman I have the weight of the World on my shoulders! 1.3876 0.04920 178 126 35 17
1064 Goodbye Atlas. You've relieved me of a great burden. 1.3876 0.04984 178 127 33 18
1065 Atlas, how many times have I asked you not to bring your work home? 1.3876 0.04654 178 122 43 13
1066 It's over, Ayn. I just ... don't care anymore. 1.3876 0.04855 178 125 37 16
1067 It's not the heft, it's the humanity. 1.3876 0.04586 178 126 37 15
1068 Don't tell anyone I put it down at night. 1.3876 0.04654 178 122 43 13
1069 This one is infected. 1.3876 0.04920 178 126 35 17
1070 I know it doesn't 'spark joy,' but isn't this a bit extreme? 1.3876 0.04984 178 127 33 18
1071 I never realized the Andes were so pointy. 1.3876 0.04920 178 126 35 17
1072 The heat helps my back pain 1.3876 0.04586 178 121 45 12
1073 It’s a first world problem. 1.3876 0.04586 178 121 45 12
1074 I told you, Helen, "I'm carrying the weight of the world" is not just an expression -- it's my job! 1.3876 0.04586 178 121 45 12
1075 I know, I know. Lift with my legs. 1.3876 0.04654 178 122 43 13
1076 No, Hesperis, I can't just 'do it over Zoom'. 1.3876 0.04722 178 123 41 14
1077 Well, they're more stylish than your bunny slippers. 1.3876 0.04855 178 125 37 16
1078 Whenever Atlas went to yoga class, it was his wife who shrugged. 1.3876 0.04516 178 120 47 11
1079 There has been a recall. The tiny humans are malfunctioning. 1.3873 0.03282 173 128 32 12
1080 How can you wear bunny slippers at a time like this? 1.3867 0.04430 181 129 37 15
1081 Was it really that difficult? I told you to get me the one WITH ice. 1.3867 0.04731 181 125 40 15
1082 Atlas was supposed to come take it back but then quarantine started..." 1.3864 0.04826 176 123 38 15
1083 Wednesday is cans and bottles dear. 1.3864 0.03500 176 121 48 7
1084 Hey, at least you get to leave the house” 1.3864 0.04689 176 121 42 13
1085 For the last time Phyllis, I don't have anything to get off my chest." 1.3864 0.01777 176 129 40 5
1086 You’ve forgotten your mask! 1.3864 0.04724 176 124 37 15
1087 Wow, he really has the whole world in his hands 1.3864 0.02594 176 133 33 10
1088 Just make sure you're back in time tonight to pick up the moon. 1.3864 0.04959 176 125 34 17
1089 I just needed an atlas...not "Atlas". 1.3864 0.04826 176 123 38 15
1090 The worst part is this Spain in my back. 1.3864 0.04893 176 124 36 16
1091 It may seem silly to you Alice, but it qualifies me for a small business loan 1.3864 0.04826 176 123 38 15
1092 What, you don't think Atlas was an 'essential worker?' 1.3864 0.04826 176 123 38 15
1093 No, Michelle, it is like the weight of the world on my shoulders! 1.3864 0.04215 176 117 51 8
1094 Don't drop it like last time 1.3864 0.04689 176 121 42 13
1095 I'm taking it back and asking for a refund. It went bad long before it's expiration date. 1.3864 0.04893 176 124 36 16
1096 I don’t care what Cuomo says. I say I’m essential and I’m going into the office. 1.3864 0.04893 176 124 36 16
1097 Atlas shrugged my ass! This thing weighs a ton! 1.3864 0.04893 176 124 36 16
1098 When I said Atlas I meant a book of maps! 1.3864 0.04893 176 124 36 16
1099 We can't social distance ourselves if you keep bringing the world home every day. 1.3864 0.04689 176 121 42 13
1100 Oh for chrissakes, you're supposed to put it on your shoulders, Atlas. 1.3864 0.04549 176 119 46 11
1101 Whose idea was Earth Day? 1.3864 0.04477 176 118 48 10
1102 Keep the coffee on, I'm just taking it to the curb! 1.3864 0.04826 176 123 38 15
1103 It's my first post-Covid party and I wanted a costume where I'd be sure not to shake anyone's hand. 1.3864 0.04689 176 121 42 13
1104 There’s definitely something wrong with it but it’s beyond my level of expertise. But I’m not sure if I should take it to a geologist, an astronomer or a philosopher. 1.3864 0.04893 176 124 36 16
1105 Nobody ever said selling Atlases door-to-door would be easy. 1.3855 0.04701 179 124 41 14
1106 Lift with my legs. I know, I know. 1.3855 0.04767 179 125 39 15
1107 He can carry the Earth, but can he pick up milk on his way home? 1.3855 0.04701 179 124 41 14
1108 Use your legs, not your back 1.3855 0.04767 179 125 39 15
1109 Knock em dead honey!” 1.3855 0.04354 179 129 35 15
1110 You’d think they’d let me work from home.” 1.3855 0.04701 179 124 41 14
1111 Seems heavier lately. 1.3855 0.04565 179 122 45 12
1112 When you are done with that, can you take out the recycling? 1.3855 0.04767 179 125 39 15
1113 Governor Cuomo says... Yes, I am an essential worker! 1.3855 0.04701 179 124 41 14
1114 I'm giving it back...it's filthy and it malfunctioned. 1.3855 0.04767 179 125 39 15
1115 Go ahead then, Frank, save the world. 1.3855 0.04565 179 122 45 12
1116 Yeah, and next week they have me doing Jupiter. I'm only keeping this job for the health insurance. 1.3855 0.04701 179 124 41 14
1117 Actually, the world does revolve around me. 1.3855 0.04701 179 124 41 14
1118 I should never have offered to help Dr. Fauci... 1.3855 0.04897 179 127 35 17
1119 Remember-- if someone asks you about the corona virus, just don't shrug! 1.3855 0.04832 179 126 37 16
1120 Because the Pacific is cooler on my back, that's why. 1.3855 0.04496 179 121 47 11
1121 Actually, Antarctica is like an icepack so my back feels fine. 1.3855 0.04633 179 123 42 13
1122 Three more years and I'm up for the Golden Fleece. 1.3855 0.04426 179 120 49 10
1123 Wait, where are my keys?" 1.3851 0.04509 174 117 47 10
1124 Gone but hopefully, not forgotten.” 1.3851 0.03654 174 118 48 7
1125 Crap, I almost forgot it was garbage day...” 1.3851 0.05064 174 125 31 18
1126 If you really wanted me, you would have accepted me AND my problem” 1.3851 0.04654 174 119 43 12
1127 I’m afraid your curling iron may be emitting green house gases. 1.3851 0.02835 174 134 28 12
1128 No, I won’t be home by 5. I’ve got a world of problems to fix at work.” 1.3851 0.04795 174 121 39 14
1129 It’s a work thing, Karen!” 1.3851 0.04582 174 118 45 11
1130 And don't expect your deposit back." 1.3851 0.02172 174 129 38 7
1131 The bowling alley is closed, Atlas." 1.3851 0.04795 174 121 39 14
1132 I told you I should've asked for the moon. 1.3851 0.04795 174 121 39 14
1133 AT LAST! The quarantine is lifted & I'm free to get back to work! 1.3851 0.04164 174 125 36 13
1134 Dr Fauci I presume 1.3851 0.04795 174 121 39 14
1135 I'll see if they'll take it back without a receipt 1.3851 0.04863 174 122 37 15
1136 I know you’ve had a lot weighing on you, but can you please remember to bring home milk and toilet paper this time?” 1.3851 0.04282 174 119 45 10
1137 I miss when it was flat. 1.3851 0.04795 174 121 39 14
1138 This can't be good for my back. 1.3851 0.04998 174 124 33 17
1139 Yeah Yeah,eggs,milk and crackers... 1.3851 0.04546 174 120 42 12
1140 The President asked if I would take this off his back; it’s having a negative effect on his golf swing. 1.3851 0.04863 174 122 37 15
1141 I gotta take this thing into the yard and hose it down. 1.3851 0.04931 174 123 35 16
1142 Actually, I find the increased warmth rather soothing. 1.3851 0.04725 174 120 41 13
1143 The 'Uranus' comments are not helpful. 1.3851 0.04725 174 120 41 13
1144 Are they putting on weight or am I getting weaker? 1.3851 0.04654 174 119 43 12
1145 You could learn something from our President and let someone else carry it. 1.3851 0.04863 174 122 37 15
1146 I think Venus might have been easier. 1.3851 0.03788 174 123 41 10
1147 The warmth helps my sciatica. 1.3851 0.04582 174 118 45 11
1148 Objectivism, my ass 1.3851 0.04509 174 117 47 10
1149 I’ll be back shortly with the replacement. 1.3851 0.04582 174 118 45 11
1150 The world no longer "sparks joy" in me. 1.3851 0.04998 174 124 33 17
1151 If you ask me, the world ISN’T getting smaller every day. 1.3851 0.04725 174 120 41 13
1152 They finally let me work from home and then Jove calls in sick ... 1.3851 0.04725 174 120 41 13
1153 I'm meeting with Ayn today. She said she's got a job for me. 1.3851 0.04654 174 119 43 12
1154 I’m going to see if I can get this thing fixed — seems like nobody wants the job. 1.3851 0.04795 174 121 39 14
1155 If one more guy asks me how I am holding up I swear I will throw this at him. 1.3851 0.04509 174 117 47 10
1156 Have you seen my face mask? 1.3851 0.04795 174 121 39 14
1157 Shrugging is not an option, Linda! 1.3851 0.04931 174 123 35 16
1158 "ok ok... I will go get you the Moon and the Stars then" 1.3842 0.04736 177 122 40 14
1159 "The bronze guy at Rockefeller Center has COVID-19, so they posted a cattle call for substitutes." 1.3842 0.04870 177 125 36 16
1160 Yes I'm essential; they've scheduled a solar flare immersion at 9:30 and a lunar eclipse at 2:00. 1.3842 0.04668 177 122 42 13
1161 How the world wide web really works 1.3842 0.04599 177 121 44 12
1162 I’m going to see if it can be repaired. 1.3837 0.04832 172 120 38 14
1163 . " Sorry it landed in your azaleas Mrs Brockett. Hercules gets a bit carried away when we play softball. 1.3837 0.04689 172 118 42 12
1164 Atlas came to the realisation that perhaps he was an essential worker 1.3837 0.05039 172 123 32 17
1165 Fine, I'll save the world by myself 1.3837 0.04616 172 117 44 11
1166 The worst part is listening to that crybaby Sisyphus bitch. 1.3837 0.04971 172 122 34 16
1167 IT'S NOT THAT HEAVY, MOM! 1.3837 0.03282 172 128 29 11
1168 So apparently I'm now considered an 'Essential Worker' 1.3837 0.04832 172 120 38 14
1169 I wish it was flat... 1.3831 0.05146 154 108 33 13
1170 I think you are taking this Atlas complex a little too far honey. 1.3829 0.02885 175 122 43 7
1171 No, it’s fine. Just keep watching me struggle.” 1.3829 0.04772 175 122 39 14
1172 I wish I didn't have to go to work either, Margie, but just because it's falling apart doesn't mean I don't have to hold it up." 1.3829 0.04908 175 124 35 16
1173 i AM picking up after myself. 1.3829 0.04703 175 121 41 13
1174 But, also, maybe you could just ROLL it? I mean, sheesh. Men." 1.3829 0.04974 175 125 33 17
1175 Yes dear, I do in fact think my job qualifies as “essential” 1.3829 0.04703 175 121 41 13
1176 easy for you to say, ive got the weight of the world on my shoulders 1.3829 0.04703 175 121 41 13
1177 Go back, clean it up, THEN come in!" 1.3824 0.04870 170 119 37 14
1178 This would be easier to carry if it was flat...” 1.3824 0.04651 170 121 35 14
1179 After two months of quarantine with you, Diane, I’ve realized there are worse eternal punishments” 1.3824 0.04798 170 118 39 13
1180 Ma’am, the next time you want to return something, at least make sure it’s in the original packaging” 1.3824 0.04576 170 115 45 10
1181 It’s time to swap this out. 1.3824 0.03830 170 121 39 10
1182 Honey, does this make my ass look big? 1.3824 0.04941 170 120 35 15
1183 The Gods must have been crazy” 1.3824 0.04613 170 118 40 12
1184 close the door behind you" 1.3824 0.04870 170 119 37 14
1185 Remember honey, tonight is my bowling night with Agamemnon and Achilles. 1.3824 0.03875 170 129 26 15
1186 Be glad I'm not Fauci 1.3824 0.05148 170 123 29 18
1187 I’d really appreciate some unconditional support right now.” 1.3824 0.04798 170 118 39 13
1188 Don’t wait up. It’s a leap year.” 1.3824 0.04651 170 116 43 11
1189 It’s not so much the weight anymore, it’s just more difficult to grasp lately 1.3824 0.04870 170 119 37 14
1190 I'm leaving you, Darlene. And I'm taking the kids with me. 1.3824 0.05080 170 122 31 17
1191 If only a few politicians would jump off 1.3824 0.04870 170 119 37 14
1192 The weight of the world isn’t just going to carry itself, Karen.” 1.3824 0.04725 170 117 41 12
1193 Ya know, it'd be easier if it did revolve around me." 1.3824 0.04613 170 118 40 12
1194 Don’t worry, I’ll make a new one in 6 days. 1.3824 0.05011 170 121 33 16
1195 Don’t ask…Shrink, chiropractor, then spin class. 1.3824 0.04941 170 120 35 15
1196 Check and see if my step counter’s in my pocket. 1.3824 0.04870 170 119 37 14
1197 Carrying the weight of the world on my shoulders is considered an essential service 1.3824 0.04613 170 118 40 12
1198 Don't worry,I'll get the door, Ruth. 1.3824 0.04870 170 119 37 14
1199 Anything else for the blue bin 1.3824 0.04576 170 115 45 10
1200 Gonna spray it with Lysol. 1.3824 0.05215 170 123 27 18
1201 When I said "I feel like I'm carrying the weight of world," Darlene, I wasn't being metaphorical. 1.3824 0.04798 170 118 39 13
1202 I don't know where I'm going with this. 1.3824 0.04576 170 115 45 10
1203 Should’a taken better care of it. We warned you. 1.3824 0.04941 170 120 35 15
1204 You can't just carry the world on your back, Frank. Use your legs too. 1.3824 0.04941 170 120 35 15
1205 Yeah. I'm just glad it isn't Saturn. 1.3824 0.04941 170 120 35 15
1206 I've got to stop bringing work home. 1.3824 0.04651 170 116 43 11
1207 Is my Toga pulling up? Showing the moon would be too much. 1.3824 0.05080 170 122 31 17
1208 Is it me or does this thing get hotter every day? 1.3824 0.04870 170 119 37 14
1209 Did you find the receipt? 1.3824 0.04798 170 118 39 13
1210 It’s meant to be on your shoulders. 1.3824 0.04870 170 119 37 14
1211 It feels infected. Does it look infected? 1.3824 0.05011 170 121 33 16
1212 It's not that heavy but it's hard to get a grip on it. 1.3824 0.04421 170 118 41 11
1213 I miss when this was America's job 1.3824 0.05011 170 121 33 16
1214 No reason for there to be a plague on both of our houses. 1.3815 0.04521 173 116 46 10
1215 I'm sorry Atlas, you just have too much baggage. 1.3810 0.05123 168 121 30 17
1216 Have a good shift at the hospital, hun. I’ll just be here complaining how hard staying home is.” 1.3810 0.04836 168 117 38 13
1217 Remember to stay six feet away from the other planets 1.3810 0.04686 168 115 42 11
1218 No Helen, if I wanted to lift with my knees I would.” 1.3810 0.04120 168 118 40 10
1219 You should really be wearing gloves handling that thing 1.3810 0.04909 168 118 36 14
1220 Earth Day, my ass! When is MY day? 1.3810 0.04686 168 115 42 11
1221 Don’t ask me—all I know is God wants his planet back. 1.3810 0.04532 168 113 46 9
1222 Thank you, I know how the song goes. 1.3810 0.04686 168 115 42 11
1223 I'm sorry dear, there are some jobs you just can't do from home. 1.3810 0.04836 168 117 38 13
1224 I ordered an atlas for my grandson and Amazon sends me this? 1.3810 0.04909 168 118 36 14
1225 Honey don't forget to pick up the moon before dark. 1.3810 0.04909 168 118 36 14
1226 Dr. Fauci wants it for today’s “show and tell.” 1.3810 0.04836 168 117 38 13
1227 It doesn’t spark joy.” 1.3801 0.03814 171 127 31 13
1228 Wash your hands after you leave it" 1.3801 0.04987 171 122 33 16
1229 Okay, tuck the moon between my thighs. 1.3801 0.04917 171 121 35 15
1230 Oh sure, everyone gets to social distance except Atlas." 1.3801 0.03629 171 125 35 11
1231 Thank you ma’am, at Atlas Cleaners we do our best to remove tyrannical dictators as well as sociopathic world leader. 1.3801 0.04775 171 119 39 13
1232 No, I don't know if I left the toilet seat up or not! 1.3801 0.05256 171 126 25 20
1233 I can't just work from home Diane, I've got the World on my shoulders! 1.3801 0.03859 171 124 34 12
1234 Well, I’m off. 1.3801 0.04847 171 120 37 14
1235 Dung beetles push it in front of them. It's not the same thing at all. 1.3801 0.04629 171 117 43 11
1236 Why do you always think I'm being dramatic? 1.3801 0.04775 171 119 39 13
1237 Don't forget to put the moon out. 1.3801 0.04629 171 117 43 11
1238 Sorry, I really will try to leave work at work today. 1.3801 0.04703 171 118 41 12
1239 Don’t forget the moon.” 1.3795 0.04875 166 116 37 13
1240 Did you wash your hands?" 1.3795 0.04949 166 117 35 14
1241 Would you just pass me the keys already? You can see I have my hands full! 1.3795 0.02570 166 125 32 9
1242 I ordered a mirrorball! 1.3795 0.02186 166 124 33 8
1243 I gave you the world” 1.3795 0.05095 166 119 31 16
1244 It could be worse. Some people are unemployed." 1.3795 0.04799 166 115 39 12
1245 How many reps was that? 1.3795 0.04875 166 116 37 13
1246 Does this tunic make my butt look big? 1.3795 0.04875 166 116 37 13
1247 Honey, just taking it outside to disinfect it." 1.3795 0.04912 166 119 32 15
1248 Yes honey, I did remember to lift with my knees” 1.3795 0.05022 166 118 33 15
1249 This was lighter last year. 1.3795 0.04723 166 114 41 11
1250 I'm getting too old for this. Next week I'm putting in for Pluto. 1.3795 0.04565 166 112 45 9
1251 After Trump introduces me I swallow the Tide Pod, wait 30 seconds and shrug. He then declares the world disinfected and that everyone should get back to work. 1.3795 0.05236 166 121 27 18
1252 Won't be long . . . just taking her out for a spin. 1.3795 0.04684 166 116 38 12
1253 None of the other gods wanted the task since the virus outbreak! 1.3795 0.04645 166 113 43 10
1254 yes, I'm wearing underwear! 1.3795 0.04949 166 117 35 14
1255 I'll get the new guy--Heracles, Hercules, whatever--to take it for the weekend. 1.3795 0.05095 166 119 31 16
1256 This job was much easier when the Earth was flat. 1.3795 0.04875 166 116 37 13
1257 I wish you'd just let me buy you that backpack 1.3795 0.04949 166 117 35 14
1258 We live in different worlds. I’ll take mine and leave. 1.3795 0.04444 166 118 36 12
1259 Of course, I'm a globalist. They're just too many damn people. 1.3795 0.04403 166 110 49 7
1260 All right, I suppose your job is essential. 1.3795 0.05095 166 119 31 16
1261 You take out the trash I've got the weight of the world to carry. 1.3795 0.03423 166 117 42 7
1262 Earth Day. Bah, humbug! 1.3795 0.03369 166 119 39 8
1263 For Zeus' sake Pleione, does it look like I can pick up milk on my way home? 1.3795 0.04875 166 116 37 13
1264 Retire? In this economy? 1.3795 0.04645 166 113 43 10
1265 I just hope nobody on this thing sneezes. 1.3795 0.04949 166 117 35 14
1266 Of course I could use a shopping cart, but how would that look? 1.3795 0.04723 166 114 41 11
1267 What do you mean its turned upside down? 1.3795 0.04799 166 115 39 12
1268 No Ayn, I’m not going to shrug! 1.3795 0.04949 166 117 35 14
1269 Remember I have a Flat Earth Society meeting tonight. 1.3795 0.05095 166 119 31 16
1270 I think I’ll take this to the dumpster. 1.3795 0.04875 166 116 37 13
1271 To the Recycler. 1.3795 0.05095 166 119 31 16
1272 It used to feel like an ice pack. Now it's more like a hot pad. 1.3795 0.04565 166 112 45 9
1273 I just wish there was a handle. 1.3795 0.04684 166 116 38 12
1274 If you're going to Costco today get me a case of Tylenol." 1.3795 0.04605 166 120 32 14
1275 Why can’t you just shrug it off? 1.3795 0.04949 166 117 35 14
1276 The pointy bits are the worst. Damn you, Gustave Eiffel ! 1.3795 0.04190 166 120 34 12
1277 “No, no. You stay here. I’ll go on and keep the world going”. You stay, watch your Netflix, I’m fine.” Coffee would’ve been nice, but It’s fine, I’ll get something”. “You’re busy, I get it.” 1.3787 0.05166 169 123 28 18
1278 And a Happy Earth Day to you, too. 1.3787 0.04885 169 119 36 14
1279 I’m quitting today, and nothing in this world is gonna make me change my mind.” 1.3787 0.04270 169 121 36 12
1280 I’m going to show Donald how it’s done 1.3787 0.04664 169 116 42 11
1281 It’s Atlas Shrugged, not Atlas Lugged. 1.3787 0.04885 169 119 36 14
1282 I’m going to meet Sisyphus. The governor has opened the bowling alleys. 1.3787 0.04957 169 120 34 15
1283 Sure, no problem. Just text me your grocery list. 1.3787 0.04664 169 116 42 11
1284 No, I can't just "call in sick". 1.3787 0.04957 169 120 34 15
1285 Get off of my back, I've got the weight of the world on my shoulders 1.3787 0.04813 169 118 38 13
1286 Which bin, dear? Compost or recycling? 1.3779 0.04753 172 120 39 13
1287 You know, I should really try to figure out how to do this remotely.” 1.3772 0.04700 167 115 41 11
1288 We just can’t have nice things. 1.3772 0.04851 167 117 37 13
1289 I’m going out to flatten the curve”. 1.3772 0.04700 167 115 41 11
1290 Be careful of that! I hear they’ve hit a hard patch recently. 1.3772 0.04700 167 115 41 11
1291 Enough with the drama! Just get the groceries, and don’t bring home any germs! 1.3772 0.04925 167 118 35 14
1292 It's career day for Jimmy's class today. 1.3772 0.05140 167 121 29 17
1293 Yeah, whatever, Ayn 1.3772 0.04925 167 118 35 14
1294 I'm going to place this in our president's mouth. 1.3772 0.04925 167 118 35 14
1295 It's got a human infestation, so I'm taking it in to get it treated. 1.3772 0.04851 167 117 37 13
1296 I'm throwing it away to make room for a new one. 1.3772 0.04997 167 119 33 15
1297 Just try not to shrug this time." 1.3772 0.04925 167 118 35 14
1298 It's for a Tik Tok, Karen. 1.3772 0.04776 167 116 39 12
1299 At least I don't have to roll it up a mountain. 1.3772 0.04700 167 115 41 11
1300 Not sure He'll take it back! 1.3772 0.04997 167 119 33 15
1301 Bear the weight of the heavens for all eternity with your legs, not your back. 1.3772 0.04925 167 118 35 14
1302 I hate Mondays! 1.3766 0.05053 154 108 34 12
1303 Would it kill you to lend a hand every once in a while?” 1.3765 0.04933 170 121 34 15
1304 It started as a pimple on my butt and now it seems to be getting worse 1.3758 0.05324 165 122 24 19
1305 Gonna go pour bleach on this. It’s infected with people.” 1.3758 0.05112 165 119 30 16
1306 Look, just hold it for a minute while I go to the bathroom.” 1.3758 0.04965 165 117 34 14
1307 ‘Apparently, it’s everyone’s job to take care of Earth. Wish I knew that in the beginning...’ 1.3758 0.04814 165 115 38 12
1308 Take a jacket or you'll catch something, sweetie 1.3758 0.04736 165 114 40 11
1309 bring it back when it works again” 1.3758 0.05039 165 118 32 15
1310 Please don’t drop it. It’s been through enough already. 1.3758 0.04814 165 115 38 12
1311 Atlas, I told you - I wanted the one with the cute rings around it. 1.3758 0.05183 165 120 28 17
1312 Yeah, that definitely looks infected.” 1.3758 0.04736 165 114 40 11
1313 Have a good day at the Earth Day Festival, Carl! 1.3758 0.04965 165 117 34 14
1314 You’ll get this back when you learn to act more responsibly!” 1.3758 0.04658 165 113 42 10
1315 It gets harder to support this thing every year. 1.3758 0.04658 165 113 42 10
1316 Even if the axis can't be fixed, I'm gonna have to charge you for pick-up." 1.3758 0.04814 165 115 38 12
1317 Who’s being hyperbolical now, Karen? 1.3758 0.02766 165 124 32 9
1318 No goodbye kiss?" 1.3758 0.04736 165 114 40 11
1319 I do consider it essential, Karen. Don’t you?” 1.3758 0.05039 165 118 32 15
1320 No, this is easier on my back. It hurt worse when I carried the whole world in my hands. 1.3758 0.04658 165 113 42 10
1321 Whaddya mean I got the day side down? 1.3758 0.04890 165 116 36 13
1322 Globalism is on the way out. 1.3758 0.04578 165 112 44 9
1323 Oh,for those halcyon days when it was on a string. 1.3758 0.04496 165 111 46 8
1324 Hose it down, then disinfect all the land masses. 1.3758 0.04890 165 116 36 13
1325 Fine! If you won't play democracy anymore, I'm taking MY Earth home! 1.3758 0.04814 165 115 38 12
1326 I gave her the world and she told me to take it back 1.3758 0.04736 165 114 40 11
1327 I'll just put it out on the curb. 1.3758 0.05039 165 118 32 15
1328 Lose the beard, shave your legs and you might just pass as the average working woman. 1.3758 0.05112 165 119 30 16
1329 Well, the poor thing had a good run. 1.3758 0.02167 165 125 32 8
1330 Quit complaining! Everyone has a heavy workload these days. 1.3758 0.04578 165 112 44 9
1331 No, seriously, if you lost five pounds it would really help. 1.3758 0.04890 165 116 36 13
1332 Honey, I need to meet Atlas and Sisyphus at the bottom of the hill,now! 1.3758 0.04890 165 116 36 13
1333 I can't just shrug it off, dear. Ayn Rand or no Ayn Rand. 1.3758 0.04578 165 112 44 9
1334 If you drop it, don't expect me to clean it up. 1.3758 0.04965 165 117 34 14
1335 I'd like to shelter in place, Pleione, but Zeus insists I'm an essential worker. 1.3758 0.04814 165 115 38 12
1336 I hate trash night! 1.3758 0.04965 165 117 34 14
1337 What happened to "Ive got the world on a string? 1.3758 0.05039 165 118 32 15
1338 Lucky you. I got deemed 'essential.' 1.3758 0.04496 165 111 46 8
1339 You abuse it, you lose it. 1.3758 0.04814 165 115 38 12
1340 You're asking me for directions? For the gods' sake, Atlas, that's your job. 1.3758 0.05112 165 119 30 16
1341 It's much heavier than it used to be. 1.3758 0.04814 165 115 38 12
1342 I need long sleeves. This thing is getting hot. 1.3758 0.05039 165 118 32 15
1343 Shrug it off? Easy for you to say. 1.3758 0.04537 165 114 41 10
1344 It's an early, unpolluted version - museum quality. 1.3758 0.04736 165 114 40 11
1345 No, Alice, you shrug it off.... 1.3758 0.04736 165 114 40 11
1346 It's all this damn water! 1.3758 0.04965 165 117 34 14
1347 Remind me not to bring my work home again. 1.3758 0.04965 165 117 34 14
1348 Yeah, it does hurt my back. And lose the damn bunny slippers. 1.3758 0.05112 165 119 30 16
1349 You know there's an app for that, right? 1.3758 0.04890 165 116 36 13
1350 Dammit Pam, I'm an essential worker! 1.3758 0.04658 165 113 42 10
1351 Would now be a bad time to bring up that ' honey do' list I've been meaning to talk to you about? 1.3758 0.04736 165 114 40 11
1352 I ordered Mars. 1.3758 0.04618 165 120 31 14
1353 The streets are empty - so I set up a few pins - so what? 1.3758 0.04736 165 114 40 11
1354 I’m taking it to the cleaners. 1.3750 0.04827 168 118 37 13
1355 With the weight of the world on my back, you want me to pick up milk and dog food? 1.3750 0.04827 168 118 37 13
1356 Well, it's no picnic staying home all day either. 1.3750 0.05182 152 108 31 13
1357 I was supposed to return this weeks ago 1.3742 0.04734 163 115 36 12
1358 Can you pick up more milk while you’re out? 1.3742 0.04852 163 114 37 12
1359 Bring it back when it's clean!!!!!! 1.3742 0.04852 163 114 37 12
1360 Alexa, call Sisyphus. 1.3742 0.04774 163 113 39 11
1361 Whatever you do, don’t shrug. 1.3742 0.04774 163 113 39 11
1362 you can roll it you know" But men will be men 1.3742 0.04043 163 117 36 10
1363 Just retire and let it spin on its own! It is going to be just fine 1.3742 0.04774 163 113 39 11
1364 No! I’m sorry your son Donald can no longer play with it! 1.3742 0.05081 163 117 31 15
1365 Does this broken society make my butt look big?” 1.3742 0.05228 163 119 27 17
1366 Don’t forget to wash your hands when you are done.” 1.3742 0.04529 163 110 45 8
1367 Be right back. Gotta take out the trash. 1.3742 0.04612 163 111 43 9
1368 I have to again convince him not to fire Fauci. 1.3742 0.04694 163 112 41 10
1369 I’ll come back for my bat later! 1.3742 0.05081 163 117 31 15
1370 'Apparently you know how to deal with this better than me' 1.3742 0.03650 163 118 36 9
1371 Yeah? Well you can kiss me right below Kamchatka! 1.3742 0.05228 163 119 27 17
1372 That’s not a shrug. It’s a leg cramp. 1.3742 0.05006 163 116 33 14
1373 I'll be back - going to meet up with Atlas and Tantalus for our support group. 1.3742 0.04930 163 115 35 13
1374 Covering for Atlas again, the bum. Who in the world calls in sick during a global pandemic? 1.3742 0.05228 163 119 27 17
1375 Yes, Martha, I daresay holding up the earth is considered a vital job. 1.3742 0.04529 163 110 45 8
1376 No, I told you I'm not wearing any damn mask! 1.3742 0.04612 163 111 43 9
1377 If they only knew that it's your 9 bean salad that's really responsible for the additional "greenhouse gases." 1.3742 0.05006 163 116 33 14
1378 Leave it in the backyard for now, a safe distance from the house! 1.3742 0.04852 163 114 37 12
1379 Seriously, Marge, we gotta get out of this fifth-floor walk-up. 1.3742 0.04774 163 113 39 11
1380 And I'll bring it back when you folks can take better care of it! 1.3742 0.04774 163 113 39 11
1381 Why am I considered an essential worker 1.3742 0.04694 163 112 41 10
1382 I'll come back for the moon later. 1.3742 0.05081 163 117 31 15
1383 Ever since Trump took office this thing has gotten heavier and heavier! 1.3742 0.04852 163 114 37 12
1384 No, I cannot work from home 1.3742 0.04612 163 111 43 9
1385 If you think you have the weight of the world on your shoulders, just think about how Fauci feels. 1.3742 0.05006 163 116 33 14
1386 Unfortunately the polar ice caps are about to get a hefty dose of methane gas. 1.3742 0.04930 163 115 35 13
1387 That's the last time I'm taking my work home with me 1.3742 0.04694 163 112 41 10
1388 I’ll never understand how you call yourself Athena with a straight face. 1.3742 0.05006 163 116 33 14
1389 Don’t forget the milk this time. 1.3742 0.03752 163 115 33 10
1390 And now Australia can kiss my ass." 1.3742 0.05081 163 117 31 15
1391 Give it a shove, will ya? I’m paid to have the weight of the world on my shoulders, not my bum. 1.3742 0.04813 163 116 34 13
1392 Babe, when I do it, it's not a metaphor. 1.3742 0.04930 163 115 35 13
1393 Of course I’m wearing clean ones! 1.3735 0.04713 166 115 40 11
1394 It didn't have all this damage in the picture 1.3735 0.04475 166 112 46 8
1395 I heard you. It’s compost, not trash.” 1.3735 0.04790 166 116 38 12
1396 I'm taking it to recycling 1.3735 0.04940 166 118 34 14
1397 Hey Ayn Rand, would it kill you to hold the door for me? 1.3735 0.04752 166 123 27 16
1398 @newyorkermag “I bet Prometheus at least gets a peck on the cheek when he leaves the house!” 1.3735 0.04940 166 118 34 14
1399 Atlas, we’re still working from home, dear.” 1.3735 0.04556 166 113 44 9
1400 Off to the workshop to remove China, don’t wait up. 1.3735 0.05086 166 120 30 16
1401 Might be home early. Today's the day I toss it back in the boss's lap. 1.3735 0.04713 166 115 40 11
1402 I will soak this in Lysol and be right back. 1.3735 0.05157 166 121 28 17
1403 Good thing this sucker's flat or I'd really be sweating! 1.3735 0.04940 166 118 34 14
1404 Zeus can have this thing back ... 1.3735 0.02480 166 128 28 10
1405 Not again with the socks! 1.3735 0.04790 166 116 38 12
1406 No...I cannot clean the garage today. 1.3735 0.05086 166 120 30 16
1407 It's Sisyphus's day off. 1.3735 0.04866 166 117 36 13
1408 I’d shrug if I could. 1.3735 0.04635 166 119 34 13
1409 You’re quite literally a globe trotter. 1.3728 0.04578 169 116 43 10
1410 Alright, have it your way! My job's not more important than yours! 1.3728 0.04804 169 119 37 13
1411 I thought I’d surprise you...how would I know your really wanted Venus 1.3727 0.05048 161 115 32 14
1412 The earth is fine, just the people are screwed. 1.3727 0.04970 161 114 34 13
1413 I can’t let the world down. 1.3727 0.04648 161 110 42 9
1414 In all my years of doing this, 2020 has felt like an eternity. 1.3727 0.04812 161 112 38 11
1415 OK, good luck, honey, and I'll save the world by just staying here. 1.3727 0.05124 161 116 30 15
1416 Damn continents keep shifting ! 1.3727 0.04812 161 112 38 11
1417 What in the world has come over you? 1.3727 0.04730 161 114 32 13
1418 They trashed it. It’s pick-up day. 1.3727 0.04648 161 110 42 9
1419 If it was flat, could I do this?” 1.3720 0.04828 164 115 37 12
1420 well because “ he’s got the little bitty baby” was already taken! 1.3720 0.05092 164 121 26 17
1421 And yet you STILL wish you married the doctor!” 1.3720 0.04670 164 113 41 10
1422 I'm taking this down to the shop. Dang if it doesn't go out of wack just after the warranty runs out! 1.3720 0.04507 164 111 45 8
1423 The UPS store said I could return it without a box 1.3720 0.04828 164 115 37 12
1424 I thought you said to take our the trash? 1.3720 0.04507 164 116 37 11
1425 Honey, It is not take the Earth to work day. 1.3720 0.04750 164 114 39 11
1426 You had to put the side with Himalayas face down, Hilda?! 1.3720 0.05129 164 119 29 16
1427 Better this than meetings on Zoom. 1.3720 0.04590 164 112 43 9
1428 You can have your earth privileges back when you learn how to cook a pangolin well-done 1.3714 0.00573 175 140 29 6
1429 Lift with your legs. 1.3711 0.04684 159 109 41 9
1430 They’ve absolutely ruined this one.” 1.3711 0.04851 159 111 37 11
1431 Atlas, the world’s first essential worker. 1.3711 0.04768 159 110 39 10
1432 And on the 8th day, god took earth for a walk. 1.3711 0.05091 159 114 31 14
1433 It’s Greece that keeps making it slip off of my shoulders... 1.3711 0.04421 159 106 47 6
1434 For heaven's sake, it's a small world. 1.3711 0.02966 159 115 38 6
1435 I used to be able to hold this with just my hands. 1.3711 0.01682 159 120 33 6
1436 "I'm gonna disinfect it in some damn sunlight!" 1.3711 0.05168 159 115 29 15
1437 No, I can't just shrug this off today. 1.3711 0.04510 159 107 45 7
1438 On your way back, don’t forget the baby Arugula. 1.3711 0.02758 159 121 29 9
1439 Not on your ass, on your shoulders, Atlas. 1.3711 0.04684 159 109 41 9
1440 Ernest, for God's sake, just tell them it wasn't as described on the website. 1.3711 0.05012 159 113 33 13
1441 Who the hell is John Galt? 1.3711 0.05012 159 113 33 13
1442 This felt lighter when it was Pangaea. 1.3711 0.04598 159 108 43 8
1443 You can't shrug this one off, Atlas. 1.3711 0.04851 159 111 37 11
1444 Oops, can you put my mask on for me? 1.3711 0.04768 159 110 39 10
1445 You think you could, perhaps, get the door?” 1.3711 0.04768 159 110 39 10
1446 It can't be fixed. 1.3711 0.04851 159 111 37 11
1447 You can't go out with the weight of the world on your back! 1.3711 0.04768 159 110 39 10
1448 Maybe you can sell it for parts. 1.3711 0.04684 159 109 41 9
1449 I'd rather have Earth on my back than Uranus on my mouth. 1.3711 0.05320 159 117 25 17
1450 Think you can talk the world out of going outside? 1.3711 0.05168 159 115 29 15
1451 Is that "Essential Worker" stuff supposed to make me feel better? 1.3711 0.04684 159 109 41 9
1452 I’m sorry, Gloria, but we’ll always be poles apart. 1.3711 0.04598 159 108 43 8
1453 See you in a third of a rotation 1.3711 0.04510 159 107 45 7
1454 If that's the earth then where are we? 1.3711 0.04932 159 112 35 12
1455 Don't wait up. I have a feeling this one's going to be a really long day. 1.3711 0.04684 159 109 41 9
1456 Donald, I know you want to go outside. But wouldn’t it be easier if we just got a dog? 1.3709 0.04709 151 110 29 12
1457 Flat earthers have it easier. 1.3709 0.04938 151 105 36 10
1458 .... but I DO have the world on my shoulders!!! 1.3709 0.05199 151 108 30 13
1459 Not everything's a metaphor. 1.3709 0.05027 151 106 34 11
1460 Lift with your legs honey, not your back” 1.3704 0.04707 162 112 40 10
1461 Go ahead, take your ball and leave... See if I care! 1.3704 0.04945 162 115 34 13
1462 Atlas's first day back on the job after the stay at home order was lifted. 1.3704 0.04624 162 111 42 9
1463 You’ll get it back in a week. Virus free. 1.3704 0.04369 162 113 40 9
1464 I'm sick of looking at this in the closet - it's going to Goodwill. 1.3704 0.04624 162 111 42 9
1465 I’ll give it back when they call and ask nicely.” 1.3694 0.04806 157 109 38 10
1466 Make sure to bring back a working one this time” 1.3694 0.04973 157 111 34 12
1467 Earth Day is every day for me, Helen. 1.3694 0.04973 157 111 34 12
1468 Sisyphus said it’s easy if you take it 10 seconds at a time.” 1.3694 0.04973 157 111 34 12
1469 Diana lend a hand. I want to save this for future generations! 1.3694 0.00639 157 125 30 2
1470 It feels warmer than before 1.3694 0.04720 157 108 40 9
1471 Careful! And don’t bring it back till it’s fixed.” 1.3694 0.04973 157 111 34 12
1472 I’m being furloughed and I’ve been asked to return my office equipment.” 1.3694 0.05135 157 113 30 14
1473 It's not as small as you think. 1.3694 0.04720 157 108 40 9
1474 If I do this, does my butt look big? 1.3694 0.04890 157 110 36 11
1475 At Last. The global pandemic is lifted. 1.3694 0.03036 157 117 32 8
1476 It seems heavier these days. 1.3694 0.04973 157 111 34 12
1477 Atlas, where’s your face mask? 1.3694 0.04633 157 107 42 8
1478 That wasn't me. I merely shrugged. 1.3694 0.04973 157 111 34 12
1479 I hate my job. 1.3694 0.04890 157 110 36 11
1480 Damn, I forgot to put on my mask! 1.3694 0.04720 157 108 40 9
1481 I'm giving it the old heave ho! 1.3694 0.04633 157 107 42 8
1482 It's Earth Day,I'm taking her out for brunch. 1.3694 0.05214 157 114 28 15
1483 Who says I can't take it with me? … your bunny slippers? 1.3694 0.04973 157 111 34 12
1484 Other husbands just take out the trash. 1.3694 0.04806 157 109 38 10
1485 And You Think Trump Has Problems ! 1.3694 0.04806 157 109 38 10
1486 Wife: 'What time will you be home tonight?' Atlas: (shrugs) 1.3694 0.04890 157 110 36 11
1487 In time likes this, you bet your pretty arse that I'm an essential service. 1.3694 0.04720 157 108 40 9
1488 YOU LEFT YOUR KEYS ON THE TABLE 1.3694 0.05135 157 113 30 14
1489 I told you I could rock your world... 1.3694 0.04806 157 109 38 10
1490 Orders from the Health Department...I can't bring work home with me anymore. 1.3694 0.05291 157 115 26 16
1491 Yes, I remember what we talked about. I'll do my best not to bring work home tonight. 1.3694 0.04633 157 107 42 8
1492 Yeah, well, some of us are essential workers. 1.3694 0.04677 157 115 28 13
1493 My psychologist says I'm having an existential crisis. 1.3694 0.04973 157 111 34 12
1494 I'm tired of working from home. I'm taking home with me. 1.3687 0.04826 160 112 37 11
1495 What, no kiss?!!” 1.3687 0.05141 160 116 29 15
1496 Next time get a flat one, please. 1.3687 0.04907 160 113 35 12
1497 I'll return it to Amazon, but I thought it was clear when we ordered Earth, Wind, and Fire. 1.3687 0.04907 160 113 35 12
1498 It’s not such a big deal dear it’s what the boss wants 1.3687 0.03390 160 117 35 8
1499 Be grateful you have an outdoor job during this quarantine. 1.3687 0.04826 160 112 37 11
1500 Just because you’re carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders doesn’t mean you can go out without your mask. 1.3681 0.04920 163 116 34 13
1501 Oh honey before you go, Sisyphus called. He wanted me to tell you he’d meet you at the top.” 1.3677 0.04931 155 109 35 11
1502 How's that Ayn Rand thingie workin' out for you ? 1.3677 0.05098 155 110 31 13
1503 For God’s sake Atlas just tell him you’re sorry? 1.3677 0.05015 155 110 33 12
1504 I have a bet with Prometheus 1.3677 0.04845 155 108 37 10
1505 Okay, so I forgot your mother's birthday. I guess I'll carry that around all day, too." 1.3677 0.04931 155 109 35 11
1506 It was supposed to be flat. 1.3677 0.05098 155 111 31 13
1507 And you wanted a sun! 1.3677 0.05180 155 112 29 14
1508 I'll be back in time for Law and Order. 1.3677 0.04931 155 109 35 11
1509 At-las’, he’s seen enough 1.3671 0.03219 158 116 33 8
1510 Would you mind picking up something sustainable for dinner tonight? 1.3671 0.04610 158 108 42 8
1511 This one just didn’t spark joy 1.3671 0.05263 158 116 26 16
1512 ‘Don’t forget to buy some toilet paper while you’re out’ 1.3671 0.04293 158 112 37 9
1513 Really? You've got my back? 1.3671 0.03342 158 118 31 9
1514 Oh, and, honey, if Zeus calls, tell him the bus was late. 1.3671 0.05028 158 113 32 13
1515 At least I make a world of difference. 1.3671 0.04521 158 107 44 7
1516 Look, I can't just drop everything because of the pandemic. 1.3671 0.04865 158 111 36 11
1517 honey how many times do i have to tell you the world doesn't revolve around you. 1.3671 0.04781 158 110 38 10
1518 Try not to shrug again today, honey. 1.3671 0.04865 158 111 36 11
1519 By the way, the elevator is out of service 1.3671 0.04947 158 112 34 12
1520 Okay, okay. I’ll return this one and see if they have any Jupiter’s in stock. 1.3671 0.04781 158 110 38 10
1521 Yeah, I shrugged. 1.3671 0.04865 158 111 36 11
1522 Okay, okay, I hear you. Yes, I'll wash my hands. 1.3671 0.04610 158 108 42 8
1523 I didn't think you'd notice the virus flaws. I'll take it back and get you the moon and the stars like I once promised. 1.3671 0.05028 158 112 32 13
1524 It's the only gig job I could get. 1.3671 0.04696 158 109 40 9
1525 Of course I'm complaining. I have the whole damn world on my back. 1.3671 0.05028 158 113 32 13
1526 I swear I’m not lactose intolerant, it’s these green house gases 1.3667 0.05043 150 106 33 11
1527 If you can’t handle my world at its worst, you don’t deserve it at its best.” 1.3660 0.05143 153 110 30 13
1528 Let me know if you change your mind. The current owners haven’t treated her that well, so I can give you a good deal. 1.3660 0.04973 153 108 34 11
1529 Don't forget your Florida Keys darling. 1.3659 0.05119 164 120 28 16
1530 This experiment? I dunno six, maybe seven days..” 1.3654 0.04555 156 106 43 7
1531 You know, you really should have that thing looked at.” 1.3654 0.04905 156 110 35 11
1532 Two more months to retirement then they're on their own. 1.3654 0.05152 156 113 29 14
1533 Apparently, I’m considered essential. 1.3654 0.04905 156 110 35 11
1534 Remember, after work I have my chiropractor appointment. 1.3649 0.04613 148 100 42 6
1535 If Shabbat was so important to you, you shouldn't have married a Greek God. 1.3649 0.04903 148 103 35 9
1536 work from home they said. It’ll be great, they said.” 1.3648 0.05002 159 114 32 13
1537 I’m just taking her out for some fresh air and sunshine. 1.3642 0.04926 151 106 35 10
1538 Just putting out the recycling” 1.3642 0.05102 151 108 31 12
1539 Does it look infected”? 1.3642 0.01990 151 118 25 8
1540 I’ll bring this back after you learn to appreciate it 1.3642 0.04926 151 106 35 10
1541 Swear to god, this is the final version. 1.3642 0.04697 151 106 36 9
1542 Lift with your legs; not with your back 1.3642 0.05356 151 111 25 15
1543 Atlas sweetie, don't forget your facemask! 1.3642 0.05102 151 108 31 12
1544 Zeus laughed when I asked him if I was an essential worker” 1.3642 0.05102 151 108 31 12
1545 I thought you said it was next day delivery.” 1.3642 0.02200 151 109 39 3
1546 Hold-up! I made you coffee" 1.3642 0.04790 151 107 34 10
1547 No I don't need you to print me directions, I'll be fine. 1.3642 0.04836 151 105 37 9
1548 Atlas Lugged: Moving and Storage. 1.3642 0.04926 151 106 35 10
1549 Well, honey, some of us have to hold things up... 1.3642 0.05188 151 109 29 13
1550 Yeah, it’s a full moon. 1.3642 0.05015 151 107 33 11
1551 Might be home early, dear, I'm feeling under the weather 1.3642 0.05015 151 107 33 11
1552 Wouldn’t it just be easier to use Zoom dear? 1.3642 0.04602 151 104 38 8
1553 You know, just because your parents named you Atlas doesn't mean you have to bring that thing everywhere. 1.3642 0.04836 151 105 37 9
1554 You make the breakfast! I'm going to the chiropractor's. 1.3642 0.04836 151 105 37 9
1555 Waddya mean, there's no 'out there'? 1.3642 0.04650 151 103 41 7
1556 Yes, I KNOW it’s not good for my back! 1.3642 0.04836 151 105 37 9
1557 I'll try, but given the wear and tear I don't think it's returnable. 1.3642 0.04926 151 106 35 10
1558 It's not that heavy, it's just awkward 1.3642 0.04650 151 103 41 7
1559 So you're stuck inside all month, go cry me an ocean... 1.3642 0.04836 151 105 37 9
1560 Mother earth, my ass. 1.3642 0.04744 151 104 39 8
1561 This isn't what I expected when they said, "play your cards right and the world will be yours." 1.3642 0.04926 151 106 35 10
1562 My L5 shrugged. 1.3642 0.04744 151 104 39 8
1563 Yes I know you have the whole world on your shoulders 1.3642 0.04926 151 106 35 10
1564 Metaphors are for the weak, Janice. 1.3642 0.05102 151 108 31 12
1565 I thought you were supposed to carry the weight of the world on your shoulders, not your back. 1.3642 0.05015 151 107 33 11
1566 It’s been easier since everyone stopped moving around. 1.3642 0.05015 151 107 33 11
1567 For the last time, I can't pick up the kids...or anything else for that matter. 1.3642 0.05102 151 108 31 12
1568 Roll it? What planet are you living on, Irene? 1.3642 0.05273 151 110 27 14
1569 The world is a lot heavier than I remember. 1.3642 0.05015 151 107 33 11
1570 I think I'm finally going to have it removed. 1.3642 0.05015 151 107 33 11
1571 And stop humming “ he’s got the whole world on his ass.” 1.3642 0.05188 151 109 29 13
1572 Oh, go on. It's just a beach ball. 1.3642 0.05102 151 108 31 12
1573 Flat Earth Society, my arse. 1.3642 0.05102 151 108 31 12
1574 I can't wait until we go back to the flat version. 1.3642 0.04926 151 106 35 10
1575 Thankfully, it’s a small world. 1.3642 0.04926 151 106 35 10
1576 I can't believe they say you're essential. 1.3642 0.04836 151 105 37 9
1577 For the last time, Alice. I’m not going to shrug. 1.3642 0.04926 151 106 35 10
1578 No one's going anywhere. I don't know why they need an atlas. 1.3642 0.04836 151 105 37 9
1579 Ma, for the thousandth time, I'm not going to drop it!" 1.3642 0.04926 151 106 35 10
1580 Use your knees, Honey. 1.3642 0.04650 151 103 41 7
1581 Don't forget to pick up milk on the way home. 1.3642 0.05188 151 109 29 13
1582 Because SOMEONE has to do it, that's why...! 1.3642 0.04650 151 103 41 7
1583 "If you can't take care of it properly, I'm taking it back." 1.3636 0.04771 154 107 38 9
1584 Yes, I dated Sisyphus in college, but you don't have to go and one-up him on my account. 1.3636 0.04590 154 105 42 7
1585 I don't care if it will be lighter after one million deaths, I don't want it on my watch. 1.3636 0.04401 154 113 30 11
1586 Get off my back, woman! Can't you see I've got the weight of the world on my shoulders? Next you'll want the sun and the moon! 1.3636 0.04946 154 109 34 11
1587 Wait, you forgot your mask and gloves 1.3636 0.05031 154 110 32 12
1588 Time to take out the trash. 1.3636 0.05031 154 110 32 12
1589 Mildred, I told you already, I am considered an essential worker. 1.3625 0.04563 160 110 42 8
1590 This is considered an essential service, Margaret! 1.3625 0.04896 160 114 34 12
1591 Well, I'm off to the flat Earth convention to talk some sense into them. Wish me luck. 1.3625 0.04975 160 115 32 13
1592 ‘essential’ not ‘existential’!“ 1.3624 0.04968 149 105 34 10
1593 Feels heavier than usual.” 1.3624 0.05059 149 106 32 11
1594 It’s Earth Day at work today.” 1.3624 0.04968 149 105 34 10
1595 I'm taking it out to get some fresh air now that humans are inside." 1.3624 0.05147 149 107 30 12
1596 No. No. It's fine. I'll get the door with my "free hand". 😑 1.3624 0.05147 149 107 30 12
1597 ‘I’m going to ask about that position in accounting’ 1.3624 0.04489 149 100 44 5
1598 Oh, come on. It could be worse. It's not like you're carrying Jupiter on your shoulders." 1.3624 0.04876 149 104 36 9
1599 But you said you’d give me the world...” 1.3624 0.02468 149 112 31 6
1600 Because apparently, I'm essential. 1.3624 0.04876 149 104 36 9
1601 If I have to hear Sisyphus complain one more time... 1.3624 0.05405 149 110 24 15
1602 Sure, we'll take it back. But beware of a hellacious restocking fee. 1.3624 0.04968 149 105 34 10
1603 You've got issues. Not everything revolves around you! 1.3624 0.04782 149 103 38 8
1604 Dammit Pleione, I am an essential worker! 1.3624 0.03462 149 111 30 8
1605 Work/life balance has been a colossal struggle. 1.3624 0.04876 149 104 36 9
1606 Don’t you dare shrug, Atlas! 1.3624 0.04782 149 103 38 8
1607 It definitely keeps me from touching my face. 1.3624 0.04686 149 102 40 7
1608 If I had a world view it would be a lot heavier. 1.3624 0.05059 149 106 32 11
1609 Just running out to talk with Sisyphus. 1.3624 0.04876 149 104 36 9
1610 I told you, Pluto wasn’t available. 1.3624 0.05059 149 106 32 11
1611 I feel the earth move, but not under my feet. 1.3624 0.04876 149 104 36 9
1612 What kind of day do you expect me to have? 1.3624 0.04968 149 105 34 10
1613 I’m not bringing my work home again if that’s the way you feel! 1.3624 0.04782 149 103 38 8
1614 Don't expect the replacement to be any better. 1.3624 0.04734 149 105 35 9
1615 Let me deal with this then we can decide what to do about dinner. 1.3624 0.04876 149 104 36 9
1616 Today's world is a pain in my ass. 1.3624 0.05235 149 108 28 13
1617 This next epoch could keep me late, but don't get me wrong, I am glad for the work. 1.3624 0.04829 149 106 33 10
1618 Does the stress I'm talking about look like a metaphor? Does it, carol?! 1.3624 0.04782 149 103 38 8
1619 I don’t understand you women. When we got married, I promised you the world and all of a sudden you don’t want it anymore!” 1.3618 0.04578 152 111 30 11
1620 When you said Mother would come live with us, this is NOT what I had in mind.” 1.3618 0.04944 152 110 30 12
1621 Do you have to keep bringing your work home Atlas? 1.3618 0.04810 152 106 37 9
1622 I just can’t believe they still expect you to work without protective gear. 1.3618 0.04530 152 108 35 9
1623 I’ll be home early again tonight, honey. Work has been a lot lighter since the pandemic. 1.3618 0.04810 152 106 37 9
1624 More like Atlas Slipped his Disk. 1.3618 0.05159 152 110 29 13
1625 That's it! I'm bringing it back and getting a refund. 1.3618 0.02885 152 114 30 7
1626 I liked it better when I had it on a string. 1.3618 0.04718 152 105 39 8
1627 Every day is Earth Day 1.3618 0.02959 152 111 34 6
1628 When his wife asked where he was going, Atlas shrugged. 1.3618 0.05159 152 110 29 13
1629 Yes, it’s a metaphor, and, yes, I swiped it off the stand in the library. 1.3618 0.04988 152 108 33 11
1630 It's heavier and warmer than it looks okay! 1.3618 0.04718 152 105 39 8
1631 Wait, does this go in the trash or the recycling? 1.3618 0.05159 152 110 29 13
1632 oh, wait! I forgot my mask..... 1.3618 0.04900 152 107 35 10
1633 Why can’t you trust Google Maps? 1.3618 0.04383 152 109 34 9
1634 Ok, you’re right. I should have dressed as a book atlas for the costume party. 1.3618 0.04988 152 108 33 11
1635 I'm gonna just quarantine the whole world and get this over with. 1.3618 0.05074 152 109 31 12
1636 Every day it's "cheer up honey." Easy for you to say. 1.3618 0.05243 152 111 27 14
1637 Trash or recycle bin? At this point it's a toss-up. 1.3613 0.04919 155 110 34 11
1638 Well, some of us HAVE to go to work, Alice! 1.3608 0.04854 158 112 35 11
1639 I can't believe Sisyphus can telework and I have to go out in this crap. 1.3600 0.05291 150 110 26 14
1640 Sorry can't help. Social distancing. 1.3600 0.05205 150 109 28 13
1641 I hope you are returning that. This one isn’t working right. 1.3600 0.05375 150 111 24 15
1642 So then I said to him, ‘Hey Jude, refrain; Don't carry the world upon your shoulders.’ And he said, ‘Ok Atlas, YOU take it!’ 1.3600 0.04756 150 104 38 8
1643 Same thing every morning, Atlas. You go off to work acting like you have the weight of the world on your shoulders! 1.3600 0.04941 150 106 34 10
1644 I told you not to bring the job home with you! 1.3600 0.00669 150 114 33 3
1645 Is it Atlas or Sisyphus today dear? 1.3600 0.04661 150 103 40 7
1646 i should've just shrugged 1.3600 0.05119 150 108 30 12
1647 Just gonna take this out for a spin ... 1.3600 0.04849 150 105 36 9
1648 I hate the gig economy. 1.3595 0.04961 153 109 33 11
1649 I'll be home late tonight, they're setting the clocks back. 1.3590 0.04721 156 109 38 9
1650 I would help you but I'm already saving the world by staying home. 1.3590 0.05220 156 115 26 15
1651 Atlas Shrugged as he left for work 1.3581 0.04890 148 104 35 9
1652 Look I’ll try but with out a receipt I’ll be lucky to get an exchange” 1.3581 0.04890 148 104 35 9
1653 I AM lifting with my knees" 1.3581 0.04890 148 104 35 9
1654 I don’t care what they say Linda, I’m essential and I’m going to work!” 1.3581 0.04983 148 105 33 10
1655 Sisyphus' wife warned him, but did he listen? 1.3581 0.04983 148 105 33 10
1656 Use you legs honey! 1.3581 0.04795 148 103 37 8
1657 I’m taking it where humans can’t find it” 1.3581 0.04795 148 103 37 8
1658 And you think YOUR employer is at risk of going under?! 1.3581 0.04983 148 105 33 10
1659 Why don't you shrug it off, Atlas? 1.3581 0.05074 148 106 31 11
1660 Dear, don't forget your mask. 1.3581 0.04599 148 101 41 6
1661 Why did I ever agree to a 5th Floor walkup? 1.3581 0.04698 148 102 39 7
1662 I told you, I'm an "'Essential Worker'! 1.3581 0.04795 148 103 37 8
1663 Don't let the door hit me in the axis. 1.3581 0.04983 148 105 33 10
1664 Recycling or waste? 1.3581 0.04890 148 104 35 9
1665 I'd offer to help, but they said 6 feet apart. 1.3581 0.05164 148 107 29 12
1666 Screw this, I'm starting over 1.3581 0.04890 148 104 35 9
1667 No, I can't see your slip. 1.3581 0.05339 148 109 25 14
1668 It eats too much and just makes a mess. It’s going back! 1.3581 0.05339 148 109 25 14
1669 It came with a 4.543 billion years risk-free money-back guarantee 1.3581 0.05074 148 106 31 11
1670 Honey...Dr. Fauci needs it..I will have it back November 4th. 1.3580 0.04845 162 116 34 12
1671 You're right! It feels SO much better with the ice cap on L-5! 1.3576 0.05003 151 108 32 11
1672 When you said let's celebrate Earth Day, I thought a toga party would be fun. 1.3576 0.05090 151 109 30 12
1673 It needs medical attention. 1.3566 0.04903 143 100 35 8
1674 You’re not carrying that correctly... 1.3562 0.05211 146 106 28 12
1675 I never took the tag off. I’m trying to get a refund” 1.3562 0.04373 146 105 33 8
1676 Just don’t eat all the banana bread while I’m gone. 1.3562 0.04835 146 102 36 8
1677 why does this doorway just open to the white abyss” 1.3562 0.04373 146 103 29 8
1678 You can do it, put your back into it.” 1.3562 0.05026 146 104 32 10
1679 Just bring it back in one piece” 1.3562 0.05119 146 105 30 11
1680 I’m taking this to get rebooted. The 2020 version has a virus.” 1.3562 0.04835 146 110 20 14
1681 They pick up on Tuesdays." 1.3562 0.05119 146 105 30 11
1682 The grandkids won’t want it anyway.” 1.3562 0.05301 146 107 26 13
1683 Now where are you going? They said to stay home.” 1.3562 0.05211 146 106 28 12
1684 God, I hate it when Atlas works from home.” 1.3562 0.04931 146 103 34 9
1685 We don’t have space in the house for all of earth and its issues.” 1.3562 0.04835 146 102 36 8
1686 You can't bring that in till you wipe it down! 1.3562 0.04931 146 103 33 9
1687 “Don’t come begging me to come back when ‘Mapquest’ disappoints you!” 1.3562 0.05301 146 107 26 13
1688 Uber eats delivery for Jeff Bezos 1.3562 0.05026 146 104 32 10
1689 can you tie my mask on for me? 1.3562 0.04931 146 103 34 9
1690 I'm getting a refund!! Did not look like the 2020 pictured online at all!!" 1.3562 0.04151 146 108 28 9
1691 I’m an essential worker too, KAREN! 1.3562 0.04736 146 101 38 7
1692 I don't know. It just didn't spark joy. 1.3562 0.04785 146 108 25 12
1693 How many times have I told you, The earth is flat. Go bring back the flat one. 1.3562 0.04736 146 101 38 7
1694 Somehow keeps getting heavier. 1.3562 0.05389 146 108 24 14
1695 Honey, don’t you think it’s time to hand it off to a new generation 1.3562 0.04151 146 98 45 3
1696 It’s always “Atlas go to the store, Atlas hold the earth.” 1.3562 0.05119 146 105 30 11
1697 The world is not going to carry itself 1.3562 0.04835 146 102 36 8
1698 Good Luck !We’re all counting on you... 1.3562 0.04736 146 101 38 7
1699 Zeus said this is the last step of the unemployment process 1.3562 0.04736 146 101 38 7
1700 Apparently this is “essential.” 1.3562 0.04736 146 101 38 7
1701 Sisyphus at least put pants on... the neighbors might see you! 1.3562 0.03603 146 113 23 10
1702 It’s garbage night. 1.3562 0.04931 146 103 34 9
1703 It's just not giving me joy anymore! 1.3562 0.05119 146 105 30 11
1704 I told you my job is important 1.3562 0.05211 146 106 28 12
1705 This 7pm clap is really going to your head, Greg. 1.3562 0.05211 146 106 28 12
1706 I’m just going to toss this one and start over” 1.3562 0.05301 146 107 26 13
1707 Hope this is still under warranty.” 1.3562 0.04931 146 103 34 9
1708 Atlas, Smug 1.3562 0.05026 146 104 32 10
1709 For the last time, it was not a shrug. 1.3562 0.04835 146 102 36 8
1710 This is the last time I try to work from home. 1.3562 0.05026 146 104 32 10
1711 Do I tell you not to drop your coffee? 1.3562 0.05119 146 105 30 11
1712 Sorry hun, it's this rotating schedule they have us on. 1.3562 0.04736 146 101 38 7
1713 I'll see what it fetches on the secondary market. It's pretty damaged. 1.3562 0.05119 146 105 30 11
1714 I'm leaving you, Debra. And I'm taking THIS with me. 1.3562 0.05026 146 103 32 10
1715 Don't forget, the physical therapist said to keep your core engaged or you'll hurt your back again. 1.3562 0.04318 146 107 30 9
1716 No one who wears bunny slippers could possibly understand. 1.3562 0.05389 146 108 24 14
1717 Could be worse. The Pluto guy already got laid off. 1.3562 0.05026 146 104 32 10
1718 No, I ‘m fine. It’s usually just North America that gives me spasms. 1.3562 0.05119 146 105 30 11
1719 I’m trading it in before the warranty expires in November. 1.3562 0.04883 146 105 31 10
1720 I already told you... They consider me an 'essential employee.' 1.3562 0.04931 146 103 34 9
1721 Are the polar caps dripping down my back? 1.3562 0.04931 146 103 34 9
1722 I've got a cute what? 1.3562 0.05026 146 104 32 10
1723 This stopped sparking joy long ago. 1.3562 0.05211 146 106 28 12
1724 I can't quite reach that itch. Could you please scratch by Madagascar? I'll just trigger tsunamis trying to do it myself. 1.3562 0.05211 146 106 28 12
1725 Gotta go find a turtle to stand on. 1.3562 0.04835 146 102 36 8
1726 Trash or recycling? 1.3562 0.04736 146 101 38 7
1727 I don't see how this is an essential service. 1.3562 0.04094 146 105 35 6
1728 Apparently it's a Google-Earth infringement. 1.3562 0.04931 146 103 34 9
1729 I’ll turn it around and be back tomorrow. 1.3562 0.05119 146 105 30 11
1730 Edna was never one to pass up a generous return policy. 1.3562 0.05301 146 107 26 13
1731 Just gonna toss this in the trash and start over. 1.3562 0.05119 146 105 30 11
1732 At least someone views me as essential. 1.3562 0.04931 146 103 34 9
1733 Are you sure you can't work from home? Nobody will notice. 1.3562 0.05026 146 104 32 10
1734 It’s not the end of the world if I’m late. 1.3562 0.04635 146 100 40 6
1735 I hope they're accepting returns. 1.3562 0.04635 146 100 40 6
1736 I'm considered an essential worker. 1.3562 0.04835 146 102 36 8
1737 Now you try to have a nice day at the office, dear. 1.3562 0.04835 146 102 36 8
1738 If you wanted someone with fire in his belly, maybe you should have married my brother! 1.3562 0.03537 146 108 31 7
1739 I feel like I've got the weight of the world on my shoulders 1.3562 0.05026 146 104 32 10
1740 A man of the world draws the line at bunny slippers. 1.3562 0.05026 146 104 32 10
1741 I'm getting rid of this coronavirus once and for all. 1.3562 0.05119 146 105 30 11
1742 It could have worse, it could have been Jupiter. You want to get the door, dear. 1.3562 0.03259 146 111 27 8
1743 You’re going to lecture me on burdens? 1.3562 0.05301 146 107 26 13
1744 I can't shrug this off, I'm essential... 1.3562 0.05211 146 106 28 12
1745 I should have taken this to recycling earlier. 1.3562 0.05073 146 107 27 12
1746 I'm taking this somewhere safe while you're protesting to get a haircut. 1.3562 0.04931 146 103 34 9
1747 Yeah yeah, I'm the original 'over the shoulder boulder holder'. 1.3562 0.04931 146 103 34 9
1748 Can you help me turn this sideways? The South Pole is making my ass freeze. 1.3562 0.05301 146 107 26 13
1749 And you thought the news was heavy 1.3562 0.05119 146 105 30 11
1750 Maybe if you hadn’t created such a monster it wouldn’t be so heavy. 1.3562 0.05389 146 108 24 14
1751 What do you mean I look like I have the world on my shoulders? 1.3562 0.04931 146 103 34 9
1752 Honey, wouldn't be easier if it was flat? 1.3562 0.05301 146 107 26 13
1753 And make sure Hermès takes out the garbage. 1.3562 0.04931 146 103 34 9
1754 I’m complaining to Zeus—if I have to go in while everyone else is working from home, the least they can do is give me a mask 1.3562 0.05026 146 104 32 10
1755 No for the last time, I am not going to wear a mask! 1.3562 0.04736 146 101 38 7
1756 I just wish Ayn would make up her damn mind about the cover. 1.3562 0.05026 146 104 32 10
1757 Try Not To Bring Your Work Home With You Again, Dear” 1.3562 0.04931 146 103 34 9
1758 Ayn- You’re the one that started this when your order for 'the best ever bunny slippers' arrived and you told me not to drop the ball that came with them. 1.3562 0.00687 146 118 21 7
1759 I'll hold that while you put on your mask. 1.3562 0.04931 146 103 34 9
1760 At least Sisyphus gets a break once in awhile. 1.3562 0.04931 146 103 34 9
1761 On the bright side, at least there's no traffic. 1.3562 0.04835 146 102 36 8
1762 It's summer solstice. Don't wait up for me. 1.3562 0.04208 146 106 32 8
1763 My burden is nothing compared to living under this roof. 1.3562 0.05389 146 108 24 14
1764 Look honey, our new world order arrived. 1.3562 0.05389 146 108 24 14
1765 Yes, I do carry the weight of the world on my shoulders. 1.3562 0.05211 146 106 28 12
1766 Sorry, but I already have Google Maps. 1.3562 0.03469 146 112 25 9
1767 I think its time we talked about your god complex. 1.3562 0.05026 146 104 32 10
1768 Of course “eternity” includes pandemics. I’ll be home for dinner. 1.3562 0.04931 146 103 34 9
1769 Herb got the role of Diogenes. All he has to carry is a 2-pound lantern. 1.3562 0.04931 146 103 34 9
1770 How the hell am I supposed to keep social distance and swipe my MetroCard at the same time. Helen, where's my mask? 1.3562 0.02329 146 108 34 4
1771 Zeus be damned . . . I‘m calling OSHA today! 1.3562 0.05211 146 106 28 12
1772 You know you're going to have to disinfect that, too. 1.3562 0.04263 146 104 35 7
1773 Of course I acknowledge your poetry takes work, too. 1.3562 0.04835 146 102 36 8
1774 Just so you know, my dear--this is the burden of being right ALL THE TIME. 1.3562 0.05026 146 104 32 10
1775 I don't care how pretty it looks. If they can't get Asia right, I'm returning it. 1.3562 0.04835 146 102 36 8
1776 Perhaps you should roll this down to the elevator! 1.3562 0.01749 146 116 23 7
1777 As a matter of fact, it is the weight of the world that I'm carrying. 1.3562 0.04931 146 103 34 9
1778 Zeus decided I'm essential. Go figure. 1.3562 0.05211 146 106 28 12
1779 If I get it, the whole world suffers. 1.3562 0.04736 146 101 38 7
1780 I'll text you when I find out who screwed this up. 1.3562 0.04931 146 103 34 9
1781 If they would just lay off the carbs, is all I'm saying. 1.3562 0.05119 146 105 30 11
1782 Wouldn't it be easier if you just shrugged it off? 1.3562 0.05119 146 105 30 11
1783 Oh, and can you take the garbage out before you leave? 1.3562 0.04151 146 111 25 10
1784 Stop the damn singing, Marge, it's not such a small world after all. 1.3562 0.05211 146 106 28 12
1785 Yes, I could use Google Maps but I’m old school! 1.3562 0.04979 146 106 29 11
1786 Trust me, the kids are better off with a different one. 1.3557 0.04955 149 106 33 10
1787 2021 negotiations start today 1.3557 0.03758 149 112 28 9
1788 You can't be Captain Planet today. They need a superhero with a mask..." 1.3557 0.04955 149 106 33 10
1789 Jeez, you’d think you had the weight of the world on your back! 1.3557 0.03818 149 105 30 7
1790 Don’t forget we’ve got dinner with my mother tonight.” 1.3557 0.05135 149 108 29 12
1791 Do you think Goodwill will take this?” 1.3557 0.05223 149 109 27 13
1792 Monday is recycling, right? 1.3557 0.05135 149 108 29 12
1793 . "Yes Elizabeth, I am too considered an essential worker..." 1.3557 0.04673 149 103 39 7
1794 Sure, I'll pick up some groceries on my way home. Anything else? 1.3557 0.05046 149 107 31 11
1795 Why do I always have to take out the trash? 1.3557 0.03935 149 111 29 9
1796 According to your costume, your "world" should still be flat! 1.3557 0.05046 149 107 31 11
1797 It looks like rain, take a jacket 1.3557 0.05046 149 107 31 11
1798 My chiropractor says I just need more comfortable shoes. 1.3557 0.03758 149 107 36 6
1799 Really, Atlas - you remember that but not your mask? 1.3557 0.05135 149 108 29 12
1800 I know you have a lot on your mind,but the doctor says always lift with your legs or you'll throw your back out again! 1.3557 0.04769 149 104 37 8
1801 I’ll be at Rockefeller Center. Do you needs anything at Saks? 1.3557 0.05135 149 108 29 12
1802 Don't wait up -- I'm going bowling with Sisyphus. 1.3557 0.05046 149 112 23 14
1803 It wasn't any better flat. 1.3557 0.05046 149 107 31 11
1804 What do you mean, can I stop off at the grocery store? 1.3557 0.05046 149 107 31 11
1805 Yep. That styrofoam globe really completes the metaphor Fred 1.3557 0.05135 149 108 29 12
1806 You can have it back when you learn to play nice 1.3557 0.04769 149 104 37 8
1807 I’m Taking it in to the shop for repairs.” 1.3542 0.04671 144 99 39 6
1808 You could at least hold the door.” 1.3542 0.05070 144 103 31 10
1809 At least it’s lighter than my emotional bagage” 1.3542 0.05258 144 105 27 12
1810 And don’t forget the milk on your way home dear.” 1.3542 0.05070 144 103 31 10
1811 Get off my back!” 1.3542 0.03749 144 111 23 10
1812 “Your fly is open dear” 1.3542 0.05165 144 104 29 11
1813 I’m an essential worker” 1.3542 0.04619 144 101 36 7
1814 Is it recycling day already? 1.3542 0.05070 144 103 31 10
1815 I told you not to bring that home with you. 1.3542 0.04875 144 101 35 8
1816 « I told you not to order on line. It’s never like the picture » 1.3542 0.04875 144 101 35 8
1817 Atlas Left 1.3542 0.05165 144 104 29 11
1818 No longer bringing you joy, huh? 1.3542 0.05165 144 104 29 11
1819 On the 36th day of social distancing, Margaret couldn’t help but notice that Jim’s anxieties were manifesting more elaborately than in the previous week. 1.3542 0.05165 144 104 29 11
1820 A #HoneyDo list? Really?! As If I don’t have enough on my back... 1.3542 0.04459 144 102 35 7
1821 I can't work from home, Susan!" 1.3542 0.05165 144 104 29 11
1822 'It isn't sparking joy anymore." 1.3542 0.05165 144 104 29 11
1823 Hon, I’m leaving and I’m taking my whole world with me.” 1.3542 0.05350 144 106 25 13
1824 Alexa, this is the wrong New World Ordered. 1.3542 0.05070 144 103 31 10
1825 You can’t leave now, the world is staying at home 1.3542 0.04974 144 102 33 9
1826 They sold me the wrong one. They told me this one was, “Self-reliant and I only needed to check on it now-and-then.” 1.3542 0.04875 144 101 35 8
1827 Don’t forget to sanitise the door now.” 1.3542 0.05070 144 103 31 10
1828 Babe, this Covid thing...Zeus said a punishment but c’mon! 1.3542 0.02951 144 110 27 7
1829 No, I don't need a bag, Marge! 1.3542 0.04974 144 102 33 9
1830 Every time you go out with your Titan friends, you get in trouble" 1.3542 0.04774 144 100 37 7
1831 Well, some of us can’t work from home 1.3542 0.05165 144 104 29 11
1832 Can you close the door for me, honey ? 1.3542 0.04974 144 102 33 9
1833 I think my underwear is on backwards 1.3542 0.05165 144 104 29 11
1834 May I take a load off, Annie?” 1.3542 0.00697 144 112 26 5
1835 After six weeks in isolation with you and the ‘many robes of Debra,’ I’m ready to get back to my eternal punishment.” ⁣ ⁣ ⁣ ⁣ ⁣ ⁣ 1.3542 0.05070 144 103 31 10
1836 You forgot your mask honey. 1.3542 0.04974 144 102 33 9
1837 Just shrug it off? Nice, Ayn. Heartless much? 1.3542 0.04974 144 102 33 9
1838 ...it WASN'T a shrug, OK?...it just slipped! 1.3542 0.04774 144 100 37 7
1839 What!? I’m an essential worker! 1.3542 0.04875 144 101 35 8
1840 I'm starting to think it's not worth it anymore. 1.3542 0.04875 144 101 35 8
1841 Yeah, yeah. Another day with the world at your fingertips. 1.3542 0.04671 144 99 39 6
1842 I’ll be back in time for Rachel Maddow 1.3542 0.05258 144 105 27 12
1843 Can I at least keep Iceland? 1.3542 0.05070 144 103 31 10
1844 Betsy, scientists agree that global distancing is crucial to flattening the curve! 1.3542 0.05165 144 104 29 11
1845 Apparently I'm considered an essential worker. 1.3542 0.04974 144 102 33 9
1846 OK. OK. No more excuses- I'll exchange it for a better one. 1.3542 0.04974 144 102 33 9
1847 If I fail to hold it up the consequences will be beyond what anyone can predict. Despots will reign over us, disease will spread, the economy will fall. Well, it's too late to stop that Bob, so why don't you put that thing down and have breakfast. 1.3542 0.05070 144 103 31 10
1848 I don't know and I don't care...Ayn! 1.3542 0.04875 144 101 35 8
1849 Thanks for having the door widened. 1.3542 0.03264 144 105 34 5
1850 Yeah, yeah. I'm the "Great Atlas, but would it hurt you if you'd open the damn door? 1.3542 0.04974 144 102 33 9
1851 So why am I considered an "essential worker" and Zeus gets to sleep in all day? 1.3542 0.04974 144 102 33 9
1852 I'm determined to find something it can revolve around besides me. 1.3542 0.04974 144 102 33 9
1853 Shoot, Mildred, I forgot my damned mask! 1.3542 0.05258 144 105 27 12
1854 The doctor says I have a case of spinal Tierra del Fuego. 1.3542 0.04974 144 102 33 9
1855 My trainer said I could use any weights I found at home. 1.3542 0.04723 144 102 34 8
1856 I’m taking it back. Do you even know where this thing has been? 1.3542 0.03189 144 107 31 6
1857 It's warmer, but it sure ain't any lighter... 1.3542 0.05070 144 103 31 10
1858 You knew when you took this job, Sisyphus, that you couldn’t work from home. 1.3542 0.04875 144 101 35 8
1859 Next time its your turn to take it out 1.3542 0.04974 144 102 33 9
1860 If anyone expects me to shrug, they can forget it. 1.3542 0.05350 144 106 25 13
1861 After work I’m headed to the chiropractor. 1.3542 0.04235 144 105 31 8
1862 Heavier than usual. 1.3542 0.05165 144 104 29 11
1863 With everyone staying home, it just seems heavier somehow. 1.3542 0.04925 144 104 30 10
1864 Oh, darn, hand me that moon, will you? 1.3542 0.05258 144 105 27 12
1865 OK Sisyphus don’t drop it. 1.3542 0.05070 144 103 31 10
1866 Id I'd love to get you bagels but can't you see I have the weight of the world on my back? 1.3542 0.05165 144 104 29 11
1867 hand me my briefcase, will you? 1.3542 0.04235 144 104 31 8
1868 Remember, don't forget the toilet paper. 1.3542 0.05165 144 104 29 11
1869 I feel like I need more sensible shoes. 1.3542 0.05258 144 105 27 12
1870 I'm going to unload it. It just doesn't spark joy anymore. 1.3542 0.05258 144 104 27 12
1871 No I can’t do my job from home. And yes it is essential. 1.3542 0.04235 144 105 31 8
1872 My butt is bigger than my shoulders, that's why. 1.3542 0.05258 144 105 27 12
1873 You know you could fucking help instead of saying shit like “your arm in on Brazil.” 1.3542 0.05070 144 103 31 10
1874 I’m taking this out to the garbage; the ice caps are melting all over the floor 1.3542 0.05258 144 105 27 12
1875 I said that I will TRY to remember the cat food... 1.3542 0.05165 144 104 29 11
1876 You know there's an app for that. 1.3542 0.05070 144 103 31 10
1877 With the addition of the COVID-19 virus, this world has become a lot heavier. 1.3542 0.01548 144 109 31 4
1878 I'll be late. I''m meeting Sisyphus for a beer. 1.3542 0.04974 144 102 33 9
1879 Mr. Bigshot, who wouldn't pay for the navigation upgrade for the new car! 1.3542 0.04875 144 101 35 8
1880 I didn't mean to insult you Arnold. I just meant that Sisyphus might have a somewhat better technique. 1.3542 0.04875 144 101 35 8
1881 Honey, you dropped Rhode Island. 1.3542 0.04774 144 100 37 7
1882 When I get back from carrying the world on my shoulders, I want you to wear nothing but a tunic—but keep the bunny slippers on. 1.3542 0.05212 144 107 24 13
1883 Maybe Atlas shrugged but that's not my style. 1.3542 0.05165 144 104 29 11
1884 Yes, I won't forget about the cannoli. 1.3542 0.05165 144 104 29 11
1885 Gone are the days of crowding into subway cars. 1.3542 0.03033 144 111 25 8
1886 The global warming is really doing wonders for my back. 1.3542 0.04619 144 101 36 7
1887 I saw a lighter, blow up version at the dollar store. 1.3542 0.04774 144 100 37 7
1888 Because it’s Earth Day, Karen!” 1.3537 0.04808 147 103 36 8
1889 You might want to try Uber XL 1.3537 0.05090 147 106 30 11
1890 I can’t believe I’m still going into the office either 1.3537 0.04998 147 105 32 10
1891 It used to spark joy.” 1.3537 0.05090 147 106 30 11
1892 Not as clever as a lever. 1.3537 0.04998 147 105 32 10
1893 I don’t care if he did promise it to you. 1.3537 0.04998 147 105 32 10
1894 No, Rhea, you can't just retire in my line of work. 1.3537 0.04660 147 109 27 11
1895 This thing’s getting too hot to handle. 1.3537 0.05358 147 109 24 14
1896 I’m heading out to find a hand basket. 1.3537 0.04904 147 104 34 9
1897 I'm sorry, but Donald says it's his. 1.3537 0.04808 147 108 28 11
1898 I'll be home late. I've got a gig at Rockefeller Center. 1.3537 0.04998 147 105 32 10
1899 Couldn’t they let you just bring wind or fire this time? 1.3537 0.05358 147 109 24 14
1900 You know what happen the last time you dropped it 1.3537 0.04808 147 108 28 11
1901 Well Atlas didn’t have sciatica, OK? 1.3537 0.04808 147 103 36 8
1902 I'm an essential worker--I can't work from home in MY bunny slippers! 1.3537 0.05090 147 106 30 11
1903 “Sorry, wrong house, this is not where Bezos lives” 1.3533 0.04928 150 107 33 10
1904 The coral reefs give the itch on my lower back great relief! 1.3533 0.04928 150 107 33 10
1905 Martha — enough. I know I should have boughten the sandals with arch support in them, okay?” 1.3521 0.00707 142 114 22 6
1906 Ok, ok... You can handle it. Now, please have a break, your coffee is getting cold" 1.3521 0.05017 142 101 32 9
1907 I must be off For Zeus has plighted me with essential work 1.3521 0.04916 142 100 34 8
1908 I don’t like it either, but they said I was essential.” 1.3521 0.03269 142 104 33 5
1909 Be careful carrying that. It's fragile. I think made in China." 1.3521 0.05212 142 103 28 11
1910 Oh sure, I'll just swing by the store to pick up a few things" 1.3521 0.04967 142 103 29 10
1911 Some things you just can’t do online! 1.3521 0.05212 142 103 28 11
1912 I didn’t realize you meant “carrying the world on your shoulders” literally.” 1.3521 0.05212 142 103 28 11
1913 ...About to unload on my therapist 1.3521 0.05307 142 104 26 12
1914 You should see a doctor about that. It looks cancerous. 1.3521 0.05017 142 101 32 9
1915 You wouldn’t understand dear, I’m an essential employee.” 1.3521 0.05017 142 101 32 9
1916 Atlas got furloughed” 1.3521 0.04814 142 99 36 7
1917 Don't worry, I'll get the door." 1.3521 0.04814 142 99 36 7
1918 I don't know why you even bother, Attie. They've never given you any credit. 1.3521 0.05017 142 101 32 9
1919 "I'm taking this somewhere safe" 1.3521 0.04814 142 99 36 7
1920 This damn virus comes up and Zeus still makes me go to work 1.3521 0.04814 142 99 36 7
1921 Give it back 1.3521 0.05017 142 101 32 9
1922 You’ll hurt your back carrying it that way. Put it on your shoulders. 1.3521 0.04814 142 99 36 7
1923 The judge said you could keep the apartment Helen. This is MINE!" 1.3521 0.04492 142 96 42 4
1924 But I'm telling you they won't HAVE a replacement for this one." 1.3521 0.05017 142 101 32 9
1925 I'm sorry. I'm sure you'll find someone. 1.3521 0.04084 142 105 29 8
1926 Honey, it’s been a long quarantine. I just need a little space. 1.3521 0.05017 142 101 32 9
1927 No it's ok, I got it 1.3521 0.04916 142 100 34 8
1928 Shouldn’t you be wearing pants?” 1.3521 0.03192 142 105 30 6
1929 Yes Karen, I’m sure this one does not bring joy” 1.3521 0.05116 142 102 30 10
1930 It needs to go back for repairs 1.3521 0.04814 142 99 36 7
1931 Yeah, it’s heavy.” 1.3521 0.04602 142 102 32 8
1932 Good luck saving the world (again) today, honey” 1.3521 0.03269 142 109 25 8
1933 “I realized it just didn’t spark joy.” 1.3521 0.04916 142 100 34 8
1934 There are easier ways to keep people 6 feet away from you 1.3521 0.01094 142 112 24 6
1935 I'm taking it to the cleaners, on the President's orders. 1.3521 0.04916 142 100 34 8
1936 Oh, I see you're taking the whole World out with you again! You never take me anywhere! 1.3521 0.05116 142 102 30 10
1937 I know you've got the weight of the world on your shoulders, but if you're going out, put on some pants. 1.3521 0.05116 142 102 30 10
1938 Yeah, OK, I’ll try to return it. You’re SURE it’s the Jupiter model you want? 1.3521 0.05017 142 101 32 9
1939 Relax, as long as I keep her 6 feet apart from other celestial bodies it's ok. 1.3521 0.05017 142 101 32 9
1940 You are not fooling anyone Bob, you are the most selfish person I know! 1.3521 0.04655 142 100 35 7
1941 Not now Ethel, I’ve got the weight of the world on my shoulders. 1.3521 0.05017 142 101 32 9
1942 Don't be ridiculous, how can I compost it after all they've done? I'm bringing it right to the dump! 1.3521 0.04814 142 99 36 7
1943 I have that itch again, honey! 1.3521 0.05017 142 101 32 9
1944 Atlas, come back to bed! It’s the weekend. 1.3521 0.05116 142 102 30 10
1945 Where's the recycling? 1.3521 0.05116 142 102 30 10
1946 They’ll only need me about ten or 15 more years, tops. 1.3521 0.05116 142 102 30 10
1947 I thought you said you had the world on a string 1.3521 0.05116 142 102 30 10
1948 Compared to living with you, it's easy. 1.3521 0.05116 142 102 30 10
1949 Answer me now....Does this really look flat to you?” 1.3521 0.04967 142 103 29 10
1950 I'll be right back...I'm just putting out the trash. 1.3521 0.05017 142 101 32 9
1951 You can keep the atlas. 1.3521 0.03699 142 101 35 5
1952 I know, I know, you did it for decades. 1.3521 0.05212 142 103 28 11
1953 No, I cannot pick up a quart of milk on the way home. 1.3521 0.04916 142 100 34 8
1954 Yes, I KNOW it's supposed to be on my shoulders but it keeps slipping. 1.3521 0.05116 142 102 30 10
1955 Be happy you can't see the moon. 1.3521 0.01922 142 107 31 4
1956 Pythagoras needs a visual aid ok? 1.3521 0.03896 142 106 28 8
1957 No Sisyphus, going up & down in an elevator doesn't count. 1.3521 0.05307 142 104 26 12
1958 We don't keep the tree after Christmas, do we? 1.3521 0.04916 142 100 34 8
1959 And now you're harping about the trash I forgot to put out yesterday? 1.3521 0.04436 142 103 31 8
1960 If the U.S. won't do it, someone has to. 1.3521 0.04602 142 97 40 5
1961 Maybe you are carrying the weight of the world, but the outfit isn't exactly Business casual. 1.3521 0.05492 142 106 22 14
1962 I know my phone has Google Maps, but I prefer it this way. 1.3521 0.05116 142 102 30 10
1963 Funny. I don't feel essential. 1.3521 0.05307 142 104 26 12
1964 Just...remind me how everything will be better when women rule the world? 1.3521 0.05116 142 102 30 10
1965 Maybe, they will name a book after me? 1.3521 0.04709 142 98 38 6
1966 Do you think the charades group will get it when I shrug? 1.3521 0.04709 142 98 38 6
1967 And don’t come back until you solve the climate crisis “ 1.3521 0.05017 142 101 32 9
1968 Harold, honestly! Everybody knows that's a beach ball! 1.3521 0.05492 142 106 22 14
1969 And don't bring it back until it's fixed. 1.3521 0.04916 142 100 34 8
1970 No, I will not pick a little something up for dinner on the way home. 1.3521 0.05116 142 102 30 10
1971 When we got married he promised me the moon. 1.3521 0.05212 142 103 28 11
1972 Ok, I'll go shrug somewhere else, then. 1.3521 0.05017 142 101 32 9
1973 Another Earth Day come and gone. 1.3521 0.05017 142 101 32 9
1974 Did you sanitize that? 1.3521 0.04709 142 98 38 6
1975 Atlas, honey, stop trying to keep up with Sisyphus next door. 1.3521 0.05400 142 105 24 13
1976 Would it be the end of the world if you took the garbage out once in a while? 1.3521 0.04492 142 106 26 10
1977 Something’s tingling. I think North Korea just shot something into my back again. 1.3521 0.05017 142 101 32 9
1978 I’m telling you I’m not being sarcastic. I just hope you enjoy your coffee. 1.3521 0.05212 142 103 28 11
1979 Dang, the recycling truck has already been by! 1.3521 0.05116 142 102 30 10
1980 I'll go. You have enough to worry about. 1.3521 0.05116 142 102 30 10
1981 Of course I have to work Earth Day parties. 1.3521 0.05017 142 101 32 9
1982 Don't worry. The planet keeps me warm. 1.3521 0.04709 142 98 38 6
1983 For heaven's sake, would you get the door? 1.3521 0.05017 142 101 32 9
1984 No! I won't forget to wash my hands! 1.3521 0.05116 142 102 30 10
1985 I should be home for dinner at 6 tonight. Right now I've got to get the world off my back, Honey. 1.3521 0.03766 142 100 38 4
1986 Mother warned me not to marry someone so worldly. 1.3521 0.04916 142 100 34 8
1987 Please don't tell our neighbors its a beach ball 1.3521 0.05307 142 104 26 12
1988 I know the Whie House doesn't understand metaphors, but I've gotta try, don't I? 1.3521 0.05017 142 101 32 9
1989 I guess the world wasn't big enough for the both of us 1.3517 0.05041 145 104 31 10
1990 "I think we need to revisit the definition of 'Essential Service.'" 1.3517 0.05041 145 104 31 10
1991 I can’t believe you didn’t notice my new slippers. Do you even care? 1.3517 0.04945 145 103 33 9
1992 I have to go into the office, boss said I’m an essential worker.” 1.3517 0.03323 145 109 29 7
1993 WHO has the whole world in its hands?" 1.3517 0.05041 145 104 31 10
1994 And pick up a roll of toilet paper on your way home. 1.3517 0.05041 145 104 31 10
1995 You know we have those online now, right...?" 1.3517 0.04748 145 100 37 7
1996 It no longer brings me joy.” 1.3517 0.05135 145 105 29 11
1997 Guess who just spewed carbon emissions all over the carpet. 1.3517 0.05228 145 106 27 12
1998 You messed it up..so I'm taking it back! 1.3517 0.04847 145 102 35 8
1999 The name is Sisyphus, not syphilis. 1.3517 0.05228 145 106 27 12
2000 Greek myth, Greek schmyth. This is no way to make a living. 1.3517 0.04646 145 100 39 6
2001 Because that lazy turtle called in sick again, Helen, THAT’S why I have to go to work on a Saturday. 1.3500 0.05260 140 102 27 11
2002 Fine. I’ll just go get a new one. 1.3500 0.04747 140 97 37 6
2003 Karen Shrugged 1.3500 0.04959 140 99 33 8
2004 Atlas retired 1.3500 0.04854 140 98 35 7
2005 Where in the world are you going? 1.3500 0.05061 140 100 31 9
2006 Just another nurse heading to work... 1.3500 0.02250 140 105 31 4
2007 The Earth is a lot closer to Uranus than I thought!” 1.3500 0.05260 140 102 27 11
2008 You weren’t listening. I said this has been the WAIT of the world. 1.3500 0.04959 140 99 33 8
2009 Atlas! That better not be your good robe! The Pacific Ocean will stain the fabric." 1.3500 0.05260 140 102 27 11
2010 This just doesn’t spark joy anymore 1.3500 0.05357 140 103 25 12
2011 Yes, Mary, the world needs a break from quarentine time, so I gotta take it out for a walk." 1.3500 0.05162 140 101 29 10
2012 But all you have to do is stay home...” 1.3500 0.05061 140 100 31 9
2013 Make sure you maintain a healthy ergonomic position even while working from home. 1.3500 0.05162 140 101 29 10
2014 '"It was a lot easier when the world was smaller." 1.3500 0.04747 140 97 37 6
2015 You know, the world doesn't revolve around you, Jim? 1.3500 0.04747 140 97 37 6
2016 Don't Ask. Don't Tell 1.3500 0.04525 140 95 41 4
2017 You would think there would be an app for this by now. 1.3500 0.04692 140 99 34 7
2018 I get it. It doesn’t spark joy anymore. 1.3500 0.05061 140 100 31 9
2019 When they said Visit the Museum at Home, I wasn’t expecting this 1.3500 0.05260 140 102 27 11
2020 I'm leaving you Ester. I deserve to be treated like a god. 1.3500 0.05061 140 100 31 9
2021 This time try rolling it downhill 1.3500 0.05162 140 101 29 10
2022 Why am I the only one who seems to do any work around here? 1.3500 0.04637 140 96 39 5
2023 No they don't have any ankle support but I want to complete the look. 1.3500 0.04292 140 102 29 8
2024 So I made a few elementary mistakes -- you didn't have to return the whole thing. 1.3500 0.04854 140 100 27 10
2025 Do me a favor. The next time they ask for volunteers, keep me out of it. 1.3500 0.05162 140 101 29 10
2026 I swear to God, Mildred, I can’t believe you put this in the damn dryer. 1.3500 0.05260 140 102 27 11
2027 You know there is an app for that now. 1.3500 0.05162 140 101 29 10
2028 And take those bunny slippers off before the Zeuses arrive for dinner! 1.3500 0.05260 140 102 27 11
2029 For Christ’s sake, Doris, I’ve got this. 1.3500 0.05260 140 102 27 11
2030 Oh deity stop exaggerating its just an epithet. 1.3497 0.04682 143 99 38 6
2031 This new Google Maps update is killing my back." 1.3497 0.04888 143 101 34 8
2032 I’d trade the world for something lighter. 1.3497 0.02165 143 109 29 5
2033 Don’t worry. I can get the door too.” 1.3497 0.04888 143 101 34 8
2034 ...because it’s my job, Karen, that’s ‘WHY’” 1.3497 0.04938 143 104 29 10
2035 Where’s your mask 1.3497 0.04938 143 102 28 8
2036 Just don't tell anyone I put it down while I was here. 1.3497 0.05086 143 103 30 10
2037 sisyphus wasn’t joking 1.3497 0.04888 143 101 34 8
2038 Quit with the melodramatics. You’re just going out to find toilet paper.” 1.3497 0.05182 143 104 28 11
2039 And thus Atlas set off to the protests outside the flat earther convention 1.3497 0.05276 143 105 26 12
2040 Fineee, I'll disinfect it first 1.3497 0.04888 143 101 34 8
2041 I’ll leave it by the plastic trash container”. 1.3497 0.04988 143 102 32 9
2042 Well, at least They consider it 'essential'! 1.3497 0.04786 143 100 36 7
2043 The least you can do is wish me luck! 1.3497 0.04241 143 105 29 8
2044 No, I'm not running out to get you an everything bagel. 1.3497 0.04182 143 106 27 9
2045 EARTH DAY, SHMEARTH DAY! 1.3497 0.05459 143 107 22 14
2046 Honey, I can feel a cold draft. I think I forgot my boxers. 1.3497 0.05182 143 104 28 11
2047 I’m taking this thing in to get the bugs fixed 1.3497 0.04888 143 101 34 8
2048 I still think we should have gone with UPS 1.3497 0.04355 143 101 36 6
2049 It's time to talk about downsizing. 1.3497 0.04888 143 101 34 8
2050 Of course I've thought of a backpack, there's just that little photosynthesis issue. 1.3497 0.04682 143 99 38 6
2051 My PT says this will do a world of good for my back. 1.3497 0.03330 143 108 27 7
2052 Earth day again! When are they going to celebrate Atlas day? 1.3497 0.04576 143 98 40 5
2053 I'll be glad when Amazon's delivery service has capacity. 1.3497 0.05086 143 103 30 10
2054 Can't you see I have a lot on my hind? 1.3497 0.04988 143 102 32 9
2055 Pluto would've been lighter. 1.3497 0.04888 143 101 34 8
2056 Don't forget to pick up milk and eggs on your way home. 1.3497 0.04888 143 101 34 8
2057 I know. I know. Don’t shrug. 1.3497 0.05086 143 103 30 10
2058 “I get it. You’re busy. But Martha told me at book club that even Zeus picks up the drycleaning.” 1.3493 0.04917 146 104 33 9
2059 This Google Maps gig is harder than I thought. 1.3493 0.04917 146 104 33 9
2060 I'm off to my spinning class. 1.3490 0.04942 149 107 32 10
2061 Why can’t you just get off my back when I’m going to work? 1.3488 0.05464 129 94 25 10
2062 A little help– Mildred, a little help? 1.3488 0.05574 129 95 23 11
2063 Well, honey, as of today it seems that the world is no longer your Oyster... 1.3478 0.03658 138 107 22 9
2064 You had only one job, Human. 1.3478 0.05209 138 100 28 10
2065 Honey, have you read Ayn Rand?" 1.3478 0.04895 138 97 34 7
2066 The warranty allows for a full refund if returned within 90 days.” 1.3478 0.04949 138 100 29 9
2067 The earth day is finished. Time to get rid of decorations! 1.3478 0.04841 138 99 31 8
2068 Wait, you’re forgetting your mask 1.3478 0.05209 138 100 28 10
2069 Don’t bring that thing into the house unless you plan on taking care of it!” 1.3478 0.05107 138 99 30 9
2070 It’s just a glitch - should be able to fix this in a few days. I’ll give you a call when it’s ready.” 1.3478 0.05209 138 100 28 10
2071 I saw a cheaper one on amazon 1.3478 0.04895 138 97 34 7
2072 Why do you always have to be the one to carry the weight of the world on your back? 1.3478 0.05002 138 98 32 8
2073 You’re not going out dressed like that are you?” 1.3478 0.04895 138 97 34 7
2074 I’m going to use this time to get in shape” 1.3478 0.04786 138 96 36 6
2075 It’s only a big deal when HE shrugs” 1.3478 0.05107 138 99 30 9
2076 I get it, you’re into crossfit.” 1.3478 0.04895 138 97 34 7
2077 Sometimes you just have to let it roll off your back ...” 1.3478 0.04786 138 96 36 6
2078 At least there’s job security in my line of work 1.3478 0.05002 138 98 32 8
2079 I’m getting too old for this crap. 1.3478 0.05107 138 99 30 9
2080 It’s no problem at all, as it gets warmer, it gets lighter! 1.3478 0.05002 138 98 32 8
2081 I’m taking it back. It’s defective. 1.3478 0.04617 138 97 35 6
2082 My trainer said to use whatever weights I have. 1.3478 0.04786 138 96 36 6
2083 I just cleaned the house. Get that bug infested thing out of here! 1.3478 0.05409 138 101 24 12
2084 Do you think Newton could help me with this thing? 1.3478 0.04786 138 101 27 9
2085 You had to set the Himalayas right on my lumbar, didn't you? 1.3478 0.04786 138 96 36 6
2086 I never should have agreed to take care of this thing. 1.3478 0.05409 138 102 24 12
2087 How about a little help? You are Mother Nature after all. 1.3478 0.05209 138 100 28 10
2088 Forgot your atlas, Atlas? 1.3478 0.05310 138 101 26 11
2089 Sure, I’m bitter. Not all of us can work from home, Merriam. 1.3478 0.04895 138 102 26 10
2090 I can't stay home - I'm essential! 1.3478 0.05310 138 101 26 11
2091 If you don't want it, I'll dump it in that vacant orbit between Venus and Mars. 1.3478 0.05107 138 99 30 9
2092 Eons of service and I know I'm going to end up as a start-up logo. 1.3478 0.05107 138 99 30 9
2093 I said I'm FINE Ayn. Enough! 1.3478 0.05310 138 101 26 11
2094 Make the world go away, and get it off my shoulders. Say the things you used to say, and make the world go away." 1.3478 0.03435 138 103 29 6
2095 Do I care if I ever meet Ayn Rand? Eh. 1.3478 0.04786 138 96 36 6
2096 Return shipping? Oh hell no. I’ll take back myself. 1.3478 0.05107 138 99 30 9
2097 Yes, quite heavy. 1.3478 0.04786 138 96 36 6
2098 You knew I was a Globetrotter when you married me. 1.3478 0.05209 138 100 28 10
2099 The giant turtle got sick 1.3478 0.05409 138 102 24 12
2100 I alone can fix this! 1.3478 0.05209 138 100 28 10
2101 His plan was to leave it with the humans, but they gave him no choice but to take it back 1.3475 0.05325 141 104 25 12
2102 It’s not all Netflix and #quarantinis when you’re an essential employee, Mildred. 1.3475 0.04826 141 99 35 7
2103 Watch the door 1.3475 0.05229 141 103 27 11
2104 Couldn't you just Google Earth? 1.3475 0.05131 141 102 29 10
2105 Just trying to contribute, Margaret. Could you close the door? 1.3472 0.04759 144 101 36 7
2106 And after you get rid of that you can clean the cat litter. 1.3472 0.05151 144 105 28 11
2107 Fine, forget the statue, but can’t you at least take a picture of me holding it...?” 1.3456 0.04826 136 95 35 6
2108 Over my dead body you’re getting half of my worldly possessions in this divorce, Karen. 1.3456 0.05153 136 98 29 9
2109 Don’t bring that back in the house until the people are nicer.” 1.3456 0.05258 136 99 27 10
2110 You know, I don’t know what they’d do if I dropped the ball. 1.3456 0.05360 136 100 25 11
2111 Back to the drawing board 1.3456 0.05258 136 99 27 10
2112 "I was trying to make a romantic gesture, Karen." 1.3456 0.04826 136 95 35 6
2113 I'm going to return this. It has a virus" 1.3456 0.05046 136 97 31 8
2114 Why are they protesting? Don’t they know I’m essential?! 1.3456 0.05258 136 99 27 10
2115 No kiss goodbye?” “I got my hands a little full here.” This was the moment that Atlas’ wife new the romance was gone. 1.3456 0.04159 136 102 26 8
2116 Oh yeah? Can your Equinox trainer do this? 1.3456 0.05153 136 98 29 9
2117 I’ll be right back taking out the trash 1.3456 0.03442 136 100 28 6
2118 I'm off to the chiropractor 1.3456 0.00738 136 109 22 5
2119 Dont drop it again dear, you know what happened last time. 1.3456 0.05461 136 101 23 12
2120 You could have told me your apartment was on the eighteenth floor!" 1.3456 0.05258 136 99 27 10
2121 This planet does not spark joy 1.3456 0.04159 136 102 26 8
2122 You know, I can live with the weight of the word on my shoulders, and even with wearing this dress, but, c'mon, argyle socks?" 1.3456 0.02930 136 104 26 6
2123 Honey, they said we need to let go of our worldly possessions” 1.3456 0.05153 136 98 29 9
2124 Let’s see how long until someone asks if it’s real” 1.3456 0.04712 136 94 37 5
2125 Oh, and I suppose you know a better way? 1.3456 0.04937 136 96 33 7
2126 Oh, I see you have discovered ‘women’s work’ 1.3456 0.05153 136 98 29 9
2127 Babe, the recycling bin is the blue one... 1.3456 0.05153 136 98 29 9
2128 Oh, never mind. Weight was never the problem 1.3456 0.04992 136 99 28 9
2129 You’re just going to vote. 1.3456 0.04474 136 97 33 6
2130 Too much maintenance. I'm trading it for Mars. 1.3456 0.04937 136 96 33 7
2131 Let me guess -- carry the world on your own? 1.3456 0.04937 136 96 33 7
2132 Atlas never wore a mask! 1.3456 0.04937 136 96 33 7
2133 The world may be getting smaller but if you ask me it's not small enough. 1.3456 0.04712 136 94 37 5
2134 I'll have it back in a week. 1.3456 0.03888 136 100 30 6
2135 If you say ‘organic’ to me one more time... 1.3456 0.05046 136 97 31 8
2136 You'll have to take the dog for a walk today. I can't do everything. 1.3456 0.03958 136 103 24 8
2137 i'll be lucky if i can trade it for some toilet paper 1.3456 0.05206 136 101 24 11
2138 I know, I know...I won't be home late. Heaven forbid I miss dinner and charades with the Hendersons. 1.3456 0.05153 136 98 29 9
2139 Honey, could you get my mask and put it on for me? 1.3456 0.05153 136 98 29 9
2140 You're supposed to carry it on your shoulders. 1.3456 0.05046 136 97 31 8
2141 YOU feel like you have the weight of the world on YOUR shoulders?? 1.3456 0.03280 136 101 30 5
2142 Still got some bugs. 1.3456 0.05046 136 97 31 8
2143 Yes, yes, I know. Greenland is NOT the same size as Africa. I’ll fix that straight away. 1.3456 0.05360 136 100 25 11
2144 It's like you think I revolve around you sometimes 1.3456 0.05046 136 97 31 8
2145 Maybe it will be easier to carry on your shoulders 1.3456 0.04937 136 96 33 7
2146 Yeah well ... for next year’s science fair, I’m drawing the line at a Kuiper Belt Object. 1.3456 0.05360 136 100 25 11
2147 Amazon messed up my order again. My son ordered the Jupiter globe, not the Earth 1.3456 0.05153 136 98 29 9
2148 Pick up bread on your way home. 1.3456 0.05258 136 99 27 10
2149 Disinfect my shoulders? What are you, a communist? 1.3456 0.04826 136 95 35 6
2150 That new guy, Sisyphus. His idea. 1.3456 0.04595 136 93 39 4
2151 Essential smenshel. I wanna work from home, too. 1.3456 0.05258 136 99 27 10
2152 It’s 7,917.5 miles in diameter, and YOU want me to pick up the dry cleaning. 1.3456 0.05046 136 97 31 8
2153 Be sure: this is the last time I bring my toys to play with you, Pandora. 1.3456 0.05461 136 101 23 12
2154 I'm having lunch today with Sisyphus. 1.3456 0.05153 136 98 29 9
2155 This seems to keep getting heavier. 1.3456 0.04826 136 95 35 6
2156 I’m gonna go hang with Sisyphus. Don’t wait up. “ 1.3453 0.05076 139 100 30 9
2157 He complains about carrying the weight of the world on his back, but not once has he tried rolling it. 1.3453 0.04758 139 97 36 6
2158 You’re supposed to use your shoulders not your back 1.3453 0.04972 139 99 32 8
2159 I thought I was your earthly delight. 1.3453 0.05178 139 101 28 10
2160 Don’t wait up for me tonight, dear. 1.3453 0.03099 139 107 25 7
2161 I can tell you Amazon is not taking this back - what the hell were you thinking? 1.3453 0.05277 139 102 26 11
2162 I’m a walking Atlas. Trust me, I’ll get there. 1.3453 0.04972 139 103 24 11
2163 The world may be shrinking, but it's still just as dense. 1.3453 0.05178 139 101 28 10
2164 There's a comet in the forecast. I may be home early. 1.3453 0.04297 139 103 28 8
2165 You do realize no chiropractor will see you until 2021 at the earliest... 1.3451 0.04901 142 101 33 8
2166 No I can’t pick up milk on my way home tonight. 1.3446 0.05226 148 110 25 13
2167 Wait - you forgot to put on your mask! 1.3438 0.04611 160 114 37 9
2168 How long before the replacement arrives? 1.3433 0.04867 134 94 34 6
2169 This is the last time I put Earth in your care! 1.3433 0.05092 134 96 30 8
2170 That's it, I'm joining a flat Earth society. 1.3433 0.05616 134 101 20 13
2171 Take the receipt, or they won’t accept it back 1.3433 0.05201 134 97 28 9
2172 This one does not spark joy.” 1.3433 0.05092 134 96 30 8
2173 It needs my help! 1.3433 0.05201 134 97 28 9
2174 I can't see it, I can only feel it. Does it look infected to you? 1.3433 0.05201 134 97 28 9
2175 Some days it's lucky I don't pass any dumpsters. 1.3433 0.05308 134 98 26 10
2176 I've gotta get this back to work. 1.3433 0.04750 134 93 36 5
2177 You’d shrug too if you saw what was going on back there. 1.3433 0.04981 134 95 32 7
2178 Your profile clearly stated you were the 'Earth mother' type. 1.3433 0.04750 134 93 36 5
2179 Can’t complain. Getting lighter since those Fox News viewers have been taking hydroxychloroquine. 1.3433 0.05715 134 102 18 14
2180 You can help Zeus but you won’t clean the garage. 1.3433 0.05092 134 96 30 8
2181 Ya well, at least mine provide more traction then your bunny slippers 1.3433 0.05201 134 97 28 9
2182 Remember dear, no shrugging" 1.3431 0.05327 137 101 25 11
2183 You put the gift receipt in my wallet right, Tammy?” 1.3431 0.05225 137 100 27 10
2184 Atlas out of quarantine ” 1.3431 0.05122 137 99 29 9
2185 “I’ll be back in an hour, I’m taking this to the laundromat “ 1.3431 0.05327 137 101 25 11
2186 If I’ve forgotten anything, just mail it 1.3431 0.05122 137 99 29 9
2187 Told you not to trust the Greek 1.3431 0.05225 137 100 27 10
2188 If you really need to have the weight of the world on you, please at least wash your hands after you’re done honey.” 1.3431 0.02302 137 107 24 6
2189 Oh yeah? Well I’m saving the world by staying at home and showering infrequently. 1.3431 0.05016 137 98 31 8
2190 Carry the world on your shoulders, not your back. 1.3431 0.04797 137 96 35 6
2191 Please stop nagging Pleione ! I promise to be careful...I know how fragile this place is! 1.3431 0.04684 137 95 37 5
2192 It's just a cough...I'm sure I'll be fine. 1.3431 0.04797 137 96 35 6
2193 Let me get rid of this one. It was one of my first ones. I used to do a lot of drugs back then. 1.3431 0.05621 137 104 19 14
2194 Can you please move your hand? I’m trying to read what the capital of Moldova is? 1.3431 0.05016 137 100 28 9
2195 I'll let Him know that it doesn't spark joy in you anymore." 1.3431 0.04684 137 95 37 5
2196 It wasn't a shrug. My back hurts. 1.3431 0.04797 137 96 35 6
2197 Dang it wife! You knew this when you married me. Atlas is as Atlas does. 1.3431 0.05327 137 101 25 11
2198 This one got infected, I’m throwing it out.” 1.3429 0.05147 140 102 28 10
2199 Real men don't ask for directions, Alexa! 1.3429 0.05245 140 103 26 11
2200 You know you should really lift with your legs. 1.3427 0.05071 143 104 29 10
2201 I’m sorry hon. I’d love to stay home with you but I’m essential. 1.3427 0.04666 143 100 37 6
2202 Just be happy you can work remotely. 1.3427 0.04873 143 102 33 8
2203 Same as ever! I work four billion years with no workplace incidents. Sisyphus keeps having to start over but H.R. never writes him up. 1.3425 0.04805 146 104 34 8
2204 I’m gonna go find this Hercules fool.” 1.3411 0.05335 129 94 26 9
2205 It feels a lot heavier these days, maybe it’s the ignorance” 1.3411 0.05220 129 93 28 8
2206 Margaret, does my bum look big in this? 1.3411 0.04733 129 89 36 4
2207 they said all existential workers 1.3411 0.05220 129 93 28 8
2208 It wasn't a shrug. I just get itchy in wool sweaters. 1.3411 0.04859 129 90 34 5
2209 My father warned me, you’d never amount to nothing... its the same every day, roll it up the hill. At night, right back down again! I’ve had it, don’t you bring that back again... Sisyphus are you even listening to me!? 1.3411 0.05103 129 92 30 7
2210 I'm getting a refund! 1.3411 0.05220 129 93 28 8
2211 Who says I’m not essential? 1.3411 0.04733 129 89 35 4
2212 I know, I know. Shoulders, not back. 1.3411 0.04733 129 89 36 4
2213 Seems a bit heavier these days. 1.3411 0.05391 129 97 21 11
2214 Maybe if I roll it down Mount Olympus it will help" 1.3411 0.03480 129 100 22 7
2215 It’s a leap year so I’ll probably be home a bit late. 1.3411 0.05335 129 94 26 9
2216 Go save the world. I’ll be doing laundry. 1.3411 0.05335 129 94 26 9
2217 Well, Ayn, I shrug because this thing is heavy - you want to make a metaphor of that, be my guest. 1.3411 0.05220 129 93 28 8
2218 Please don't forget the eggs and milk. 1.3411 0.05103 129 92 30 7
2219 There’s a “no return” policy but I’ll see what I can do. 1.3409 0.05025 132 94 31 7
2220 You know how many turtles I fought for this thing?" 1.3409 0.05025 132 94 31 7
2221 "Yeah, well, SOMEBODY has to do it." 1.3409 0.05025 132 94 31 7
2222 ‘You were right honey, this is harder than it looks’ 1.3409 0.02238 132 99 30 3
2223 My new boss said I needed to take on a heavier workload.” 1.3409 0.05139 132 95 29 8
2224 I am going to let Greta take over for awhile. 1.3409 0.05359 132 97 25 10
2225 He took the world, she kept everything else in the settlement. 1.3409 0.05025 132 94 31 7
2226 Okay, but when can I expect it back? 1.3409 0.04908 132 93 33 6
2227 Don’t shrug this off 1.3409 0.05359 132 97 25 10
2228 You’re right honey, this would be harder in heels... 1.3409 0.04604 132 98 26 8
2229 Damn Amazon 'Returns' 1.3409 0.05025 132 94 31 7
2230 Put it in the garage for a few days and throw your toga in the washing machine. 1.3409 0.05250 132 96 27 9
2231 Yes, Martha, I know I’m supposed to wear a face mask. But I’ve kinda got my hands full! 1.3409 0.04908 132 93 33 6
2232 It might not spark joy now but what if we miss it later?" 1.3409 0.05359 132 97 25 10
2233 I told you we couldn’t afford it! 1.3409 0.05359 132 97 25 10
2234 Yes, I’m lifting with my legs! 1.3409 0.05139 132 95 29 8
2235 Watch your step 1.3409 0.05139 132 95 29 8
2236 This is my last day unless they provide PPE. 1.3409 0.05250 132 96 27 9
2237 I HAVE to go in, Sylvia, I’m an essential worker. 1.3409 0.04908 132 93 33 6
2238 How is this still essential? 1.3409 0.05466 132 98 23 11
2239 I’m taking it back, everyone is ruining it. 1.3409 0.05250 132 96 27 9
2240 I'm going for a walk. Feels like I've got the weight of the world on my back... 1.3409 0.05250 132 96 27 9
2241 I'm sorry, it looked different on the internet. 1.3409 0.05025 132 94 31 7
2242 I thought the job description for Atlas was figurative. 1.3409 0.05359 132 97 25 10
2243 The job sounded better when I thought it was about maps. 1.3409 0.04789 132 92 35 5
2244 Yes ma, I know... If they don't do returns then I'll try exchanging it for one that fits in better with the furniture. 1.3409 0.05025 132 94 31 7
2245 I’ll be back for Mars in an hour. 1.3409 0.05139 132 95 29 8
2246 It just couldn’t stay flat, could it? 1.3409 0.04908 132 93 33 6
2247 ... I know, but we finally have health insurance. 1.3409 0.04908 132 93 33 6
2248 Nothing is ever good enough for you. 1.3409 0.03776 132 97 30 5
2249 Covid or no covid, I can’t just shrug off my responsibilities. 1.3409 0.04908 132 93 33 6
2250 Okay, okay. I'll stop bringing my work home. 1.3409 0.05359 132 97 25 10
2251 Blue Marble," my arse 1.3409 0.05139 132 95 29 8
2252 I'm tired of carrying all the weight around here 1.3409 0.05139 132 95 29 8
2253 Still looks flat to me. 1.3409 0.05250 132 96 27 9
2254 It's supposed to be on your shoulders, not on your ass.. 1.3409 0.05571 132 99 21 12
2255 It doesn't seem that long ago . . . when you had the world on a string and the string around your finger . . . 1.3409 0.05466 132 98 23 11
2256 I'm returning it. Complete piece of junk. 1.3409 0.04071 132 99 26 7
2257 oo! ow! ouch! blast this global warming! 1.3409 0.04908 132 93 33 6
2258 Thank you for using 1-800-Got-Junk. 1.3409 0.05025 132 94 31 7
2259 Your KNEES, not your Back! 1.3409 0.05250 132 96 27 9
2260 I’m just not sure it’s considered essential, honey... 1.3409 0.04908 132 98 25 9
2261 How about a kiss goodbye. 1.3409 0.05025 132 94 31 7
2262 Well, you said I need to carry my weight... 1.3409 0.04789 132 92 35 5
2263 Sorry, sir. Alexa, I meant to order AN atlas, not THE Atlas.” 1.3407 0.05274 135 99 26 10
2264 But wait! Did you ask yourself if it still sparks joy?” 1.3407 0.05169 135 98 28 9
2265 He’s got the whole world in his hands. “For the love of god, don’t drop it” 1.3407 0.05169 135 98 28 9
2266 Going to take this to repair, need me to grab anything from the supermarket while I’m out?” 1.3407 0.05060 135 97 30 8
2267 Oh no, don’t mind me, I’ll carry it all by myself, you just stand there and watch”. 1.3407 0.04950 135 96 32 7
2268 I'm just taking it for recycling. 1.3407 0.04481 135 92 40 3
2269 Careful, it's fragile. 1.3407 0.04837 135 95 34 6
2270 Ugh stop worrying; it's mostly water weight. 1.3407 0.04837 135 95 34 6
2271 Saying I’m not that buff and that you don’t trust me should be two separate conversations. 1.3407 0.05060 135 97 30 8
2272 I’m thankful it’s inflatable. 1.3406 0.05091 138 100 29 9
2273 I said, "nice bunny slippers". See ya tonight. 1.3404 0.05016 141 102 30 9
2274 She wants to see other people 1.3385 0.03631 130 98 21 7
2275 Don’t be dramatic, I’ve been carrying it for decades” 1.3385 0.04704 130 90 36 4
2276 what are you going to do when you're not saving the world" 1.3385 0.03869 130 94 32 4
2277 Even with a receipt, I doubt they are going to take it back. 1.3385 0.05300 130 95 26 9
2278 Don't forget to pick up some milk on your way home. 1.3385 0.05411 130 96 24 10
2279 Who knew CrossFit would come in handy after all.” 1.3385 0.05300 130 95 26 9
2280 Hey dude, refrain. Don’t carry the world upon your shoulders.” 1.3385 0.04951 130 92 32 6
2281 Jupiter? You said size didn’t matter!” 1.3385 0.05411 130 96 24 10
2282 I'll be back for Mercury tomorrow! 1.3385 0.05186 130 94 28 8
2283 The real punishment is the commute 1.3385 0.05186 130 94 28 8
2284 Despite daily encouragement from his wife, Jeff never left for work without looking like the weight of the world was on his back. 1.3385 0.05186 130 94 28 8
2285 My four month holiday was great, thanks for looking after it during that time Hecate. Oooff! I don’t recall it being this heavy, lol. What did you feed it? 1.3385 0.03792 130 101 21 8
2286 ...as Dr Fauci begins his daily labors.” 1.3385 0.05836 130 100 16 14
2287 I wasn’t shrugging, I was trying to scratch my calf! Now everybody wants to act like I don’t care. They wrote an asinine book about it! 1.3385 0.03194 130 96 29 4
2288 Yes, I have my mask and gloves. 1.3385 0.05300 130 95 26 9
2289 Alas, Atlas, I said 'you should bring more *mirth* into this household'. 1.3385 0.04704 130 90 36 4
2290 Be right back as soon as I find someplace to put this down” 1.3385 0.05411 130 96 24 10
2291 Tell your friend Sisyphus I said Hi, will you?" 1.3385 0.04829 130 91 34 5
2292 You are wearing that?” 1.3385 0.05520 130 97 22 11
2293 I asked you to watch the world for one day... 1.3385 0.04704 130 90 36 4
2294 Oh, they didn't tell you? Earth day is cancelled this year. 1.3385 0.05186 130 94 28 8
2295 It’s about time you bring that in to get looked at. I told you it was buggy months ago.” 1.3385 0.05300 130 95 26 9
2296 This is a man's world. 1.3385 0.05411 130 96 24 10
2297 Put it on the curb. Someone might need it." 1.3385 0.05186 130 94 28 8
2298 I'm not giving up on it, it's just going to go to a nice farm upstate..." 1.3385 0.04829 130 91 34 5
2299 Still only accounts for 10 out of the 15 lbs you’ve put on so far. 1.3385 0.05300 130 95 26 9
2300 This is why we can’t have good things. 1.3385 0.05186 130 94 28 8
2301 I had the world on a string! But now...” 1.3385 0.03194 130 100 24 6
2302 There’s an app for that . . . 1.3385 0.04951 130 97 24 9
2303 Get rid of it. It doesn’t bring me joy. 1.3385 0.05070 130 93 30 7
2304 I'll be back! After I relieve Atlas on his lunch break 1.3385 0.05070 130 93 30 7
2305 It's always, "Atlas, help stop pollution!" "Atlas, cure the pandemic!" Sometimes they need to help themselves and get off my back. 1.3385 0.05520 130 97 22 11
2306 I'm just going to put it in the garage. 1.3385 0.05300 130 95 26 9
2307 What do you mean, you'd rather have a more Eurocentric view? 1.3385 0.05070 130 93 30 7
2308 Sorry, but the baby is going out with the bath water! 1.3385 0.05411 130 96 24 10
2309 I know there are other planets but I still think this one is essential. 1.3385 0.04829 130 91 34 5
2310 The weight of this world is a pain in the ass. 1.3385 0.05070 130 93 30 7
2311 Don’t worry. I’m sure it’s benign. 1.3385 0.04575 130 89 38 3
2312 I only WISH that I could carry it on my shoulders! 1.3385 0.05411 130 96 24 10
2313 Take it! Takeittakeittakeit! 1.3385 0.05070 130 93 30 7
2314 I'm going to air it out. 1.3385 0.04094 130 97 25 7
2315 A leaky faucet? As if I don't have enough to worry about!" 1.3385 0.05186 130 94 28 8
2316 I can't take a day off--I'm essential. 1.3385 0.05300 130 95 26 9
2317 Did you ever once consider I might not have all this baggage if you'd been the Nymph I married? 1.3385 0.05411 130 96 24 10
2318 My PT says my job is causing the back pain, but I don't have any other skills. 1.3385 0.03194 130 95 31 3
2319 I don't see why I couldn't do this from home. 1.3385 0.04890 130 94 29 7
2320 Atlas, I think that should be on your shoulders. Monkeys go on the back. 1.3385 0.05070 130 93 30 7
2321 I swear, if I drop this thing one more time I'm getting canned. 1.3385 0.03463 130 100 16 9
2322 No need to be so dramatic; next time I'll take out the garbage. 1.3385 0.05300 130 95 26 9
2323 You can have it back once you learn to share with your other brothers and sisters! 1.3385 0.05070 130 93 30 7
2324 Sure, tell me I'm stupid, but just look at your dopey bunny slippers. 1.3385 0.05186 130 94 28 8
2325 Virus or not, I still have a job to do Harriet. 1.3385 0.05186 130 94 28 8
2326 I didn't ASK to be deemed essential, Jackie! 1.3385 0.04951 130 92 32 6
2327 Which question do you want answered first: why I'm carrying the world on my back or why I'm dressed in Roman drag? 1.3385 0.05186 130 94 28 8
2328 Next time make sure you wash your hands when you come inside. 1.3385 0.01908 130 107 15 8
2329 Atlas, please don't shrug! 1.3385 0.05411 130 96 24 10
2330 This is a metaphor for capitalism. 1.3385 0.05186 130 94 28 8
2331 There go the volcanoes again. Better pick me up some Ibuprofen. 1.3385 0.04376 130 89 37 3
2332 Listen, I warned you, now I’m taking this back. 1.3383 0.05431 133 99 23 11
2333 even the dinosaurs did a better job. 1.3383 0.02901 133 102 24 6
2334 I’ll have it back in time to help Johnny with his geography distance learning” 1.3383 0.05325 133 98 25 10
2335 Wasn't 'Love you to the moon and back enough'? 1.3383 0.04760 133 93 35 5
2336 That’s it. No more home office for me. 1.3383 0.05325 133 98 25 10
2337 Gotta run, Honey. I promised Sisyphus I'd race him up the hill. 1.3383 0.05106 133 96 29 8
2338 '"And no beans for dinner tonight. They cause earthquakes." 1.3383 0.04993 133 95 31 7
2339 No, I can't get milk on the way home. 1.3383 0.05431 133 99 23 11
2340 Sometimes I really do wish I had this thing on a string. 1.3383 0.04993 133 95 31 7
2341 I have an itch on my nose and I need help 1.3383 0.04760 133 93 35 5
2342 Is this thing getting heavier lately?" Atlas shrugged 1.3383 0.04514 133 95 31 6
2343 I feel like you shouldn’t be wearing sandles. 1.3383 0.04639 133 92 37 4
2344 Yes dear, I will remember to wash my hands. 1.3383 0.05325 133 98 25 10
2345 I don’t see how I’m an ‘essential worker’ either, Margaret, but I don’t make the rules, alright?! 1.3383 0.05325 133 98 25 10
2346 Just be glad it’s not Neptune or Uranus 1.3383 0.04993 133 95 31 7
2347 Reason for returning: Inaccurate website description 1.3383 0.05325 133 98 25 10
2348 It needs a cleaning. 1.3383 0.05325 133 98 25 10
2349 I’ll be back for the next one. 1.3383 0.05106 133 96 29 8
2350 Sorry Doris, the world doesn't revolve around you. 1.3383 0.05106 133 96 29 8
2351 Charles, How much is Instacart paying you for that delivery? 1.3383 0.05106 133 96 29 8
2352 If someone starts singing " he's got the whole world in his hands" one more time, I'm going to snap. 1.3383 0.05106 133 96 29 8
2353 Dear, you shouldn't have made chili last night: Alaska's really in for it. 1.3383 0.05431 133 99 23 11
2354 What? I'm essential!" 1.3382 0.04808 136 96 34 6
2355 This weighs a lot you know. 1.3382 0.05242 136 100 26 10
2356 Atlas! You forgot the gloves! 1.3359 0.04870 128 95 25 8
2357 The celestial heavens aren’t going to hold themselves up, Carol.” 1.3359 0.05351 128 94 25 9
2358 "hold this, he said, I'll be back in a minute, he said, well I'm not falling for that again, sister. I ain't watching your kid " 1.3359 0.05235 128 93 27 8
2359 You industrialized humans had your chance! I’m taking this baby back with me to the Byzantine.” 1.3359 0.04995 128 91 31 6
2360 I promised the healthcare workers I’d cover for them today.” 1.3359 0.05235 128 93 27 8
2361 ‘Honey, when I tried to return it they refused on the grounds of misuse and neglect! Can you believe that?!’ 1.3359 0.04543 128 95 26 7
2362 “I’m ‘essential.’” 1.3359 0.05235 128 93 27 8
2363 Honey I know you’re bored, but this cosplay home workout is really revealing your hero complex and pale calves 1.3359 0.05235 128 93 27 8
2364 Paul, stop trying to be so metaphorical! 1.3359 0.05116 128 92 29 7
2365 I must be getting tired... it seems a bit heavier every day. 1.3359 0.05351 128 94 25 9
2366 I'm going to wash this off in the yard. Have dinner without me, I have a feeling this will take a while." 1.3359 0.05351 128 94 25 9
2367 I know, I know, I promised the moon and the stars" 1.3359 0.05116 128 92 29 7
2368 I’m done, this wasn’t even supposed to be my punishment 1.3359 0.05116 128 92 29 7
2369 The World feels a bit heavier these days. 1.3359 0.05351 128 94 25 9
2370 Can you get the lights?” 1.3359 0.05235 128 93 27 8
2371 It is not functioning at all. I’m glad they have a flexible return policy.” 1.3359 0.05235 128 93 27 8
2372 I only dropped it for a second 1.3359 0.05116 128 92 29 7
2373 Taking the planet back to the Middle Ages where it was untarnished by your $10 lattes and pollution 1.3359 0.05351 128 94 25 9
2374 It's easy for you to be a denier, you don't have an ice cap melting down your back. 1.3359 0.05116 128 92 29 7
2375 Excuse me while I take out the garbage. 1.3359 0.05235 128 93 27 8
2376 Look, you have your slippers and I have mine,ok? 1.3359 0.05351 128 94 25 9
2377 There was a letter from the Flat Earth Society for you in the mail today. 1.3359 0.05465 128 95 23 10
2378 You know a female already has that job, her name is mother earth. 1.3359 0.05465 128 95 23 10
2379 I could handle this, but I'll need help with Jupiter... 1.3359 0.05465 128 95 23 10
2380 Why carry it on my back? So I won’t breathe on it—no mask! 1.3359 0.05465 128 95 23 10
2381 Be back in a minute. Taking the garbage out. 1.3359 0.05577 128 96 21 11
2382 I am using my knees. It’s not helping. 1.3359 0.05351 128 94 25 9
2383 This oughta be enough to cover the mortgage. 1.3359 0.04995 128 91 31 6
2384 Oh and--pick-up some eggs and milk on the way home. 1.3359 0.05351 128 94 25 9
2385 Earth day shmirth day...I need a massage. 1.3359 0.04742 128 89 35 4
2386 Your costume for earth day? 1.3359 0.05351 128 94 25 9
2387 Of course I’m an essential worker, and no I don’t need a mask! 1.3359 0.04995 128 91 31 6
2388 I'm going to the gym and the chiropractor. Do you need me to pick-up anything? 1.3359 0.05235 128 93 27 8
2389 Don’t tell me I’m exaggerating! 1.3359 0.05793 128 98 17 13
2390 I see you have the weight of the world syndrome 1.3359 0.05235 128 93 27 8
2391 So I'd appreciate it if you'd stay off my back about the lawn... 1.3359 0.05465 128 95 23 10
2392 I hate global studies! 1.3359 0.04933 128 93 28 7
2393 It doesn’t spark joy in my life. 1.3359 0.05235 128 93 27 8
2394 It's time to put this in recycling. 1.3359 0.04995 128 96 23 9
2395 No, I still haven't had a chance to read Ayn Rand's Atlas Shrugged, why do you keep asking? 1.3359 0.04995 128 91 31 6
2396 Sorry my schedule doesn't revolve around you. 1.3359 0.05116 128 95 21 10
2397 Shouldn't You be Wearing a Mask? 1.3359 0.05351 128 94 25 9
2398 I don’t need a mask. I’m a god, not a superhero! 1.3359 0.05038 131 94 30 7
2399 No, thanks. You’ve done enough!” 1.3359 0.03360 131 96 29 4
2400 It ain’t heavy, it’s my mother... 1.3359 0.05266 131 96 26 9
2401 The job ad said ‘physically strong, but with a sense of humor.’” 1.3359 0.05038 131 94 30 7
2402 If not me, whom? 1.3359 0.04920 131 93 32 6
2403 I’d like it wiped back to the beginning of time, please. 1.3359 0.05484 131 98 22 11
2404 This Global Positioning System isn't as useful as I'd expected. 1.3359 0.05266 131 96 26 9
2405 Don't forget the trash on your way out. 1.3359 0.05038 131 94 30 7
2406 No, I don't think a woman would do this job better. 1.3359 0.05266 131 96 26 9
2407 Yea, you have a good day too! 1.3359 0.03998 131 96 30 5
2408 Reboot the protozoa, you said. Reboot the trilobites, you said. Reboot the dinosaurs, you said ... 1.3359 0.05038 131 94 30 7
2409 NO! They won't LET me work from home! 1.3359 0.01574 131 102 25 4
2410 If you are going to carry the world around on your shoulders, don’t you think you should wear more practical footwear Harold?” 1.3359 0.05153 131 95 28 8
2411 How about eternity—is eternity good for you? 1.3359 0.05266 131 96 26 9
2412 Well, I think it's essential work. 1.3359 0.05153 131 95 28 8
2413 Could you get the door for me? 1.3359 0.05153 131 95 28 8
2414 There, brazen temptress. Tell me you did not feel the earth move! 1.3359 0.05376 131 97 24 10
2415 Honey, whaddya’ mean my chiropractor is only doing tele-health appointments?” 1.3358 0.05019 134 99 26 9
2416 If I don't go outside to tell them how unfair isolation is, the left wins". 1.3358 0.05396 134 100 23 11
2417 You're not shrugging your way out of this one." 1.3358 0.04848 134 95 33 6
2418 It would 't be so heavy but for the fatso in the White House. 1.3358 0.05184 134 98 27 9
2419 No comparison, Sisyphus got to roll his 1.3358 0.05396 134 100 23 11
2420 I shrugged, and now it's too heavy to lift. 1.3358 0.04962 134 96 31 7
2421 I’ve got the weight of the world on my shoulders. 1.3358 0.04962 134 96 31 7
2422 My therapist said first I have to get rid of a world of hurt. 1.3358 0.05074 134 97 29 8
2423 "Did YOU keep the receipt? " 1.3357 0.04926 140 101 31 8
2424 I TOLD you we should've gone with the smaller one. 1.3333 0.05539 129 97 21 11
2425 No, now is STILL not a good time” 1.3333 0.05164 126 91 28 7
2426 Atlas! Honey don’t forget to buy a new ozone layer on your way home” 1.3333 0.05341 132 98 24 10
2427 Don’t be mad at me. You’re the one that forgot trash day.” 1.3333 0.05201 129 94 27 8
2428 Some of us can’t telecommute 1.3333 0.05164 126 91 28 7
2429 I said I don’t want it in the house until it’s vaccines are up to date!” 1.3333 0.05746 126 96 18 12
2430 The flat earthers have it so much easier 1.3333 0.05102 126 93 25 8
2431 „This one is broken, I need to make another. Don’t wait, I’ll be late.” 1.3333 0.04093 129 98 24 7
2432 I still don’t understand why I didn’t get a stimulus check, I definitely qualify as a small business” 1.3333 0.04140 126 92 21 6
2433 Do you know where Ayn Rand lives? 1.3333 0.05164 126 91 28 7
2434 ...and next time you have a one night stand don’t bring your world of problems with you! 1.3333 0.05521 126 94 22 10
2435 Thanks. It’s just not sparking joy. 1.3333 0.05404 126 93 24 9
2436 I bring it back. It has a virus" 1.3333 0.05040 126 90 30 6
2437 I am tired of working from home" 1.3333 0.04963 129 92 31 6
2438 Don't you worry, Mother Nature. We are trying our best to see ourselves out 1.3333 0.05285 126 92 26 8
2439 This doesn’t spark joy. I’m tossing it. 1.3333 0.04968 138 100 30 8
2440 If I leave now I’ll be first in line at the recycling center” 1.3333 0.05285 126 92 26 8
2441 Dr. Fauci didn't think fame had changed him. His wife disagreed. 1.3333 0.05634 126 95 20 11
2442 Try not to sneeze on it again, Doug!” 1.3333 0.05404 126 93 24 9
2443 Don’t give me that look, birthing it was still worse. 1.3333 0.05316 129 95 25 9
2444 Yeah Atlas does have the sky but he shouldn't get ALL the credit 1.3333 0.05316 129 95 25 9
2445 Now hand me the moon. 1.3333 0.05429 129 96 23 10
2446 As a marketing concept, I think having the whole world in my hands would have been the better way to go. 1.3333 0.05345 126 95 21 10
2447 ...have a good time and say hello to Prometheus for me 1.3333 0.05285 126 92 26 8
2448 I hope I can still retire next year. 1.3333 0.05285 126 92 26 8
2449 I may be a little late. 1.3333 0.05521 126 94 22 10
2450 No, Shirley, I don’t know when Atlas gets back from vacation. 1.3333 0.04963 129 92 31 6
2451 Oh dear must you always carry the world upon your back... 1.3333 0.05316 129 95 25 9
2452 Alice shrugged. 1.3333 0.05634 126 95 20 11
2453 Yes, I am carrying the weight of the world on my back....and your coffee stinks. 1.3333 0.05164 126 91 28 7
2454 Gee Ayn, I don't know. Zeus seems to think I'm essential. 1.3333 0.05285 126 92 26 8
2455 Well honey, if you really want to save the world, quarantine at home with me. 1.3333 0.04818 135 96 33 6
2456 I guess “I’ve got the world on a string” doesn’t apply here. 1.3333 0.05285 126 92 26 8
2457 This would be much easier if I had Kim Kardashian's butt. 1.3333 0.05404 126 93 24 9
2458 Careful now. Don't shrug your shoulders! 1.3333 0.03473 126 97 23 6
2459 Will there be a full refund? 1.3333 0.02981 126 97 24 5
2460 Anything else I can do for you? 1.3333 0.05285 126 92 26 8
2461 Where do you think? I'm an ESSENTIAL worker 1.3333 0.05521 126 94 22 10
2462 Honey, you forgot your bowling shirt. 1.3333 0.04847 126 91 29 6
2463 I'll pick up a fresh one on my way home. 1.3333 0.04847 126 91 29 6
2464 Get off my back for once, Madge, will you? 1.3333 0.05404 126 93 24 9
2465 The doctor said it'd fall off by itself in a millennium or two. 1.3333 0.05201 129 94 27 8
2466 These Australians are a real pain in the neck 1.3333 0.05164 126 91 28 7
2467 I’m bringing it back. It’s defective. 1.3333 0.05345 126 95 21 10
2468 In these tough times I feel like the weight of the world is on me. 1.3333 0.05285 126 92 26 8
2469 Yes, Ayn, I could shrug. Or you could just put down the damn coffee and help me. 1.3333 0.05285 126 92 26 8
2470 That's right, I used to carry it on my shoulder Gert, and your butt was six inches higher, too! 1.3333 0.05429 129 96 23 10
2471 I'm leaving you to pursue my dream of becoming a company logo 1.3333 0.05074 138 101 28 9
2472 Next time I’ll really read the small print in the employment contract. 1.3333 0.04781 126 88 33 4
2473 This just keeps getting hotter! 1.3333 0.03381 126 94 28 4
2474 Jesus Mabel,they're in my front pocket. Just lock it up after I leave. 1.3333 0.05164 126 91 28 7
2475 Enjoy Earth Day honey. 1.3333 0.04781 126 93 26 7
2476 Recyclables or trash? 1.3333 0.05316 129 95 25 9
2477 Someone has to do it. 1.3333 0.05316 129 95 25 9
2478 Yes, "mother" I'm going over to Archimedes place... again. 1.3333 0.05429 129 96 23 10
2479 That looks like a world of hurt. 1.3333 0.04818 135 96 33 6
2480 And George, when you're done with that one, don't forget Jupiter and Saturn in the basement. 1.3333 0.05316 129 95 25 9
2481 Fred, you’re being hysterical. I only asked you to go out for toilet paper. 1.3333 0.05404 126 93 24 9
2482 Oh Atlas, you’re always such a martyr. 1.3333 0.05083 129 93 29 7
2483 I should have auditioned for the part of Dionysus. 1.3333 0.05404 126 93 24 9
2484 When they said I'd be a door-to-door Atlas salesman, I should've noticed the capital A 1.3333 0.05316 129 95 25 9
2485 Alright fine, I'll use the route Google Maps suggests. 1.3333 0.04912 126 89 32 5
2486 Can you whip up another universe while I take out this old trash. 1.3333 0.04847 126 91 29 6
2487 Fine, I'll go shelter in space! 1.3333 0.05201 129 94 27 8
2488 I asked for the Sun, Atlas 1.3333 0.05040 126 90 30 6
2489 Better get rollin'. 1.3333 0.05404 126 93 24 9
2490 Taking her back to a happy place. 1.3333 0.05164 126 91 28 7
2491 Going over to Atlas’s house, be right back” 1.3309 0.04667 139 101 31 7
2492 Full-body workout 1.3309 0.05429 136 103 21 12
2493 Global warming—there’s nothing like it for a sore back. 1.3308 0.05198 133 98 26 9
2494 With the gym closed during the pandemic I've got to get my exercise some way. 1.3308 0.04429 133 99 27 7
2495 Don't worry Karen, I got it 1.3308 0.05167 130 95 27 8
2496 OK, I’ll return it, but don’t order from them again. 1.3308 0.05051 130 94 29 7
2497 Hum those lyrics once more, I drop it; and the whole world will be in your cotton-picking hands. 1.3308 0.05281 130 96 25 9
2498 Can't believe this is an essential job" 1.3307 0.05483 127 95 22 10
2499 We know where we’re not appreciated. 1.3307 0.04480 127 87 38 2
2500 You just had to bring your work home." 1.3307 0.04880 127 90 32 5
2501 In a new wave of foreclosures, the planet earth foreclosed 1.3307 0.05483 127 95 22 10
2502 It's all a conspiracy 1.3307 0.05130 127 92 28 7
2503 Gotta go— I told Sisyphus I’d cover for him all of 2020.” 1.3307 0.05007 127 91 30 6
2504 Trust me, this is way more accurate than Google Maps. 1.3307 0.05130 127 92 28 7
2505 Have a good day, Atlas. Keep on shruggin’. 1.3307 0.05596 127 96 20 11
2506 This would have been easier if we packed it flat . 1.3307 0.05007 127 91 30 6
2507 amazon guaranteed no global warming, nuclear war or pandemics. Be sure to return it for a full refund. 1.3307 0.05250 127 93 26 8
2508 Atlas, your calendar is wrong. That’s the wrong ball. Tonight is your bowling night. 1.3307 0.05368 127 94 24 9
2509 Yeah, well, a "little favor" was all that Heracles asked. 1.3307 0.05130 127 92 28 7
2510 I know I'm supposed to stay inside, but the trash gets collected today. 1.3307 0.05007 127 91 30 6
2511 Honey, at least it’s not one of the bigger planets. 1.3307 0.05250 127 93 26 8
2512 I’ve got to get the World back to work 1.3307 0.05007 127 91 30 6
2513 Every day I carry the weight of the world on my back and all you can say is "Have a good one"? 1.3307 0.04750 127 94 26 7
2514 This is the last time I bring my work home with me... 1.3307 0.05368 127 94 24 9
2515 Remember, do not go anywhere near Rockefeller Center 1.3307 0.05250 127 93 26 8
2516 No, I won't forget to pick up the dry-cleaning! 1.3307 0.05007 127 91 30 6
2517 Your psychiatrist can figure out just by talking to you that you carry the weight of the world on your shoulders. 1.3307 0.05250 127 93 26 8
2518 I’ll show them “non-essential.” 1.3307 0.05250 127 93 26 8
2519 You're doing great, honey. 1.3307 0.04944 127 98 19 10
2520 Why don't you wait to do your martyr routine when we're done with the lockdown? 1.3307 0.05130 127 92 28 7
2521 Bernice felt bad about her error, but she still returned the Atlas she had bought online. 1.3307 0.05368 127 94 24 9
2522 And next time don't bring your work home with you!" 1.3306 0.05337 124 91 25 8
2523 Isn’t there a song about this 1.3306 0.05213 124 90 27 7
2524 Well, put it out by the curb, Syd, if you aren't going to fix it." 1.3306 0.04394 124 94 23 7
2525 Do you have your keys?” 1.3306 0.05458 124 92 23 9
2526 “yes, I know. I make it look so easy.” 1.3306 0.05337 124 91 25 8
2527 You just don’t understand what it’s like to be an essential worker honey, but to some, I’m a hero 1.3306 0.05808 124 95 17 12
2528 It’s ok, I’ll take care of THIS too...” 1.3306 0.05337 124 91 25 8
2529 Atlas shrugged” got a whole new meaning in 2020 1.3306 0.05337 124 91 25 8
2530 “Atlas needs to stop leaving his things at our house.” 1.3306 0.05213 124 90 27 7
2531 Work from home once, and the world falls apart. 1.3306 0.05458 124 92 23 9
2532 Corona or not, Meg, you always knew you were marrying a globetrotter.“ 1.3306 0.05458 124 92 23 9
2533 No, Phyllis, I'm not going to be able to 'pick something up' while I'm out..." 1.3306 0.05577 124 93 21 10
2534 Careful with the economy, OK? 1.3306 0.04318 124 96 20 8
2535 Landfill, or incinerator?” 1.3306 0.05458 124 92 23 9
2536 I’ll be back soon, I’m just going to isolate this” 1.3306 0.05213 124 90 27 7
2537 I have 99 problems but living in your world of isolation isn’t one. 1.3306 0.05085 124 92 25 7
2538 I know you can’t tell, but I’m shrugging right now.” 1.3306 0.05337 124 91 25 8
2539 I’m still not sold on you being considered essential.” 1.3306 0.04468 124 92 26 6
2540 I’m returning it for the Xtra-Large. 1.3306 0.05337 124 91 25 8
2541 Be right back- I'm going to get it injected with bleach. 1.3306 0.05694 124 94 19 11
2542 Tell the kids to grow up. I won’t keep picking up their messes! 1.3306 0.05085 124 89 29 6
2543 Don't worry, I'll wash my hands after. 1.3306 0.05458 124 92 23 9
2544 These tend to break after around 4.5 billion years. I should have a new one ready for you in about 100 million. 1.3306 0.04955 124 88 31 5
2545 Carrying the weight of the world means back problems for life, dear. 1.3306 0.05337 124 91 25 8
2546 You forgot your mask and gloves. 1.3306 0.05213 124 90 27 7
2547 We’ve got bigger issues than whether or not I’m going commando. 1.3306 0.05577 124 93 21 10
2548 It feels like it's upside down! 1.3306 0.05337 124 91 25 8
2549 Have a good day, dear. Don’t forget to pick up milk on your way home. 1.3306 0.05213 124 90 27 7
2550 Atlas: I have to train my back to carry this shit load for the rest of my life. Gaia: It is what it is! Odds are in favour of Zeus. 1.3306 0.05458 124 92 23 9
2551 Atlas has called in sick again ! 1.3306 0.04888 124 90 28 6
2552 Honestly, would it kill Zeus to forgive me? 1.3306 0.05337 124 91 25 8
2553 No!, I can't talk to Myth Busters,....I've got work to do 1.3306 0.04955 124 88 31 5
2554 It's not any easier working from home. 1.3306 0.05337 124 91 25 8
2555 Thank the gods for disability insurance. 1.3306 0.05458 124 92 23 9
2556 I liked it better when I had the world on a string 1.3306 0.05085 124 89 29 6
2557 Essential service, gotta roll. 1.3306 0.05458 124 92 23 9
2558 Since when is a shrug ‘being over dramatic’ ? 1.3306 0.05213 124 90 27 7
2559 Can you close the door on my way out? 1.3306 0.05213 124 90 27 7
2560 Thanks for the quickie, I gotta get back to Rockerfeller Center . 1.3306 0.05458 124 92 23 9
2561 Of course it's a beach ball! Where am I gonna find a planet this small? 1.3306 0.05085 124 94 21 9
2562 Remind me why I take my work home with me. 1.3306 0.05337 124 91 25 8
2563 I told you I'd give you the world, Sheila. I just...I didn't think it would be this heavy. 1.3306 0.05085 124 89 29 6
2564 I hope they take exchanges. 1.3306 0.05213 124 90 27 7
2565 All this--- and social distancing, too. 1.3306 0.05085 124 89 29 6
2566 Sorry dear, 'the weight of the world on my butt' doesn't quite have the right ring to it. 1.3306 0.05458 124 92 23 9
2567 It's recycling day. 1.3306 0.05085 124 89 29 6
2568 Oh, Atlas, quit whining. It's one of the smaller planets. 1.3306 0.05213 124 90 27 7
2569 It's better than bringing my problems HOME in the evening. 1.3306 0.05149 124 92 24 8
2570 Takin' this thing to the trash can. It's covered in coronavirus." 1.3284 0.04943 134 97 30 7
2571 I know you'd rather be going to work too" 1.3284 0.05056 134 98 28 8
2572 I’m taking this in for a software upgrade 1.3284 0.04943 134 97 30 7
2573 It can’t be flat. How else would it fit through the doorframe? 1.3282 0.05247 131 97 25 9
2574 Did you remember your cell phone? 1.3282 0.05466 131 99 21 11
2575 Honey, I’m taking the kids.. and the other 7 billion free loaders” 1.3281 0.05332 128 95 24 9
2576 Oh! I guess I’m doing this wrong too. 1.3281 0.05216 128 94 26 8
2577 Whatever, Ayn. 1.3281 0.05558 128 97 20 11
2578 When did I ever shrug? 1.3281 0.04166 128 90 33 3
2579 Just don't forget the groceries on your way home. 1.3281 0.04974 128 92 30 6
2580 I don’t care if it’s Earth Day. It has to test negative first.” 1.3280 0.03460 125 94 27 4
2581 Just gonna sort out the world’s problems. Should be done by lunchtime. 1.3280 0.05301 125 92 25 8
2582 Despite all we've lost, it feels much heavier lately. 1.3280 0.05301 125 92 25 8
2583 Look, Marie Kondo said, ‘hold it in to yours hands and if it doesn’t bring you joy, it has got to go’ 1.3280 0.04922 125 89 31 5
2584 Atlas, honey, use your knees, I don’t want to have to take you to a hospital right now 1.3280 0.05301 125 92 25 8
2585 Sandals? In this weather?! 1.3280 0.05421 125 93 23 9
2586 For the last time, I don’t have a god complex.” 1.3280 0.05301 125 92 25 8
2587 I've had enough, Ayn. I'd rather take my chances out there." John shrugged. 1.3280 0.05051 125 90 29 6
2588 I am taking my ball and I'm going home 1.3280 0.05539 125 94 21 10
2589 out for my morning trek over the land and through the sea. I am just doing one revolution. See you for supper. 1.3280 0.05178 125 91 27 7
2590 Sorry Atlas! No mask, no entry. 1.3280 0.05051 125 90 29 6
2591 This thing is getting hot. 1.3280 0.04653 125 87 35 3
2592 This is my garb for the counter protest. Those folks demanding the lockdowns be lifted also believe the world is flat. 1.3280 0.05178 125 91 27 7
2593 When your done, I need you to mow the lawn. 1.3280 0.05421 125 93 23 9
2594 Stop complaining about work. It’s not like you carry the weight of the whole world on your shoulders. 1.3280 0.04366 125 95 23 7
2595 Thanks a lot Edith. No one’s ever told me I should lift with my legs. 1.3280 0.05178 125 91 27 7
2596 The 7 PM Corvid-19 sing-along choir has chosen "We've got the whole world in our (clean) hands" as their signature song. 1.3280 0.03064 125 94 25 4
2597 Can you, just this once, get off my back? 1.3280 0.05421 125 93 23 9
2598 Going to Planet Fitness. Be back later. 1.3279 0.04999 122 87 30 5
2599 When I said go take on the world I didn’t mean that literally.” 1.3279 0.05514 122 91 22 9
2600 six days of work and thats it? 1.3279 0.05132 122 88 28 6
2601 Be careful with that. It's easily broken." 1.3279 0.05390 122 90 24 8
2602 She aint heavy, she's my world. 1.3279 0.04106 122 96 18 8
2603 ... maybe it's still under warranty and we can fix it.” 1.3279 0.05132 122 88 28 6
2604 But, don't I get a refund for returning faulty items." "Not when you've damaged it yourself." 1.3279 0.05263 122 89 26 7
2605 Not all of us can work from home, darling!" 1.3279 0.05636 122 92 20 10
2606 “Yes, I washed my hands!” 1.3279 0.05636 122 92 20 10
2607 Remember honey, you're essential! 1.3279 0.05132 122 88 28 6
2608 I’m telling you, you should put a fragile sticker on that 1.3279 0.04861 122 86 32 4
2609 That Roman costume won't be enough, darling. Did you wash your hands? 1.3279 0.05263 122 89 26 7
2610 You know, I’m beginning to think you would have taken any job that gets you out of this apartment, Robert.” 1.3279 0.04187 122 89 29 4
2611 Beasts of Burdens are considered essential workers. 1.3279 0.04861 122 86 32 4
2612 Well, honey, is it safe to carry that much weight with sandals on?” 1.3279 0.04861 122 86 32 4
2613 you'd think if they call this job essential they'd give me a decent mask 1.3279 0.05390 122 90 24 8
2614 Yeah enjoy your zoom call, Margaret. 1.3279 0.05514 122 91 22 9
2615 We aren't just another pizza joint. 1.3279 0.04346 122 90 27 5
2616 Nice slippers. 1.3279 0.05636 122 92 20 10
2617 Stop worrying, I promise not to shrug! 1.3279 0.05390 122 90 24 8
2618 You try doing this before you've had your morning coffee! 1.3279 0.05390 122 90 24 8
2619 Ours is broken. I'm going to the universe store to get another. 1.3279 0.05263 122 89 26 7
2620 Can't talk right now honey; I've got the whole world on by back. 1.3279 0.05132 122 88 28 6
2621 Well you don't have to be dramatic about it, dear. 1.3279 0.05514 122 91 22 9
2622 I thought it was just a saying, but o.k. 1.3279 0.05636 122 92 20 10
2623 All I need now is a visit from your mother. 1.3279 0.05390 122 90 24 8
2624 You think it's easy competing with Google Maps! 1.3279 0.05263 122 89 26 7
2625 I’m the first essential worker. 1.3279 0.04861 122 86 32 4
2626 Honey, why on earth would you wear these shoes? 1.3279 0.05390 122 90 24 8
2627 Mind shutting the door, dear? 1.3279 0.04346 122 90 27 4
2628 Oh, so NOW keeping the world spinning is essential! 1.3279 0.05514 122 91 22 9
2629 Yes, Karen, I consider myself “essential.” 1.3279 0.05755 122 93 18 11
2630 I’d work from home if I didn’t have the weight of the world on my shoulders! 1.3279 0.05263 122 89 26 7
2631 The compression socks aren’t working. 1.3279 0.05755 122 92 18 11
2632 Good luck Sysifuss, I hope you can roll it all the way to the top this time. 1.3279 0.05390 122 90 24 8
2633 Shit! I forgot my mask. 1.3279 0.05390 122 90 24 8
2634 I hardly ever look at it anymore and when I do it’s just depressing. 1.3279 0.05514 122 91 22 9
2635 Sisyphus only had to roll his rock up a hill. 1.3279 0.05390 122 90 24 8
2636 Going to drop this off at the cleaners. 1.3279 0.05514 122 91 22 9
2637 It’s bulk trash day, finally. 1.3279 0.05636 122 92 20 10
2638 And don't bother coming home until that's all cleaned up! 1.3279 0.05755 122 93 18 11
2639 No Ayn. That's just stupid. 1.3279 0.05132 122 88 28 6
2640 Forget the Titans, remember the truss. 1.3279 0.05263 122 89 26 7
2641 It’s easy after living with you! 1.3279 0.05514 122 91 22 9
2642 So, now can you see my point of view 1.3279 0.04648 122 92 23 7
2643 Atlas, our neighbors don't need that. They just asked to borrow some toilet paper. 1.3279 0.05263 122 89 26 7
2644 No way I'm picking you up a latte 1.3279 0.04423 122 92 22 7
2645 It would look better in the garden under the sword of Damocles. 1.3279 0.04861 122 91 24 7
2646 The guys at the Genius Bar might be able to kill whatever's infecting the operating system.” 1.3279 0.04861 122 86 32 4
2647 I keep telling you to stop watching the news. 1.3279 0.05132 122 88 28 6
2648 Busy day. 1.3279 0.05132 122 88 28 6
2649 But garbage day isn’t until Thursday. 1.3279 0.05390 122 90 24 8
2650 You try going around with this on your back and see if you have a nice day. 1.3279 0.05132 122 90 25 7
2651 You act like you're carrying the whole world on your shoulders. 1.3279 0.05132 122 88 28 6
2652 This was easier when everyone thought the world was flat. 1.3279 0.05636 122 92 20 10
2653 You really should be getting hazard pay. 1.3279 0.05132 122 87 28 6
2654 Will return it after decontamination 1.3279 0.05390 122 90 24 8
2655 You want me to call in sick? I'm an essential worker. 1.3279 0.05390 122 90 24 8
2656 Lay off the sandals, Sheila, it’s casual Friday. 1.3279 0.05132 122 88 28 6
2657 I knew the Earth should of been flat 1.3279 0.05636 122 92 20 10
2658 Yes John, take it back to the vintage market. I told you, Mars would have been a better fit for the kids' bedroom. 1.3261 0.04732 138 99 33 6
2659 Fine, Joan! I’ll just take my baggage and leave then. 1.3261 0.04732 138 99 33 6
2660 The doctor’s. She said I should get it removed if it starts turning brown. 1.3258 0.05101 132 97 27 8
2661 Atlas, just take the trash out and I'll be happy 1.3258 0.04986 132 96 29 7
2662 This time I won’t push it 1.3256 0.04818 129 92 32 5
2663 Pick up some toilet paper 1.3256 0.05063 129 94 28 7
2664 I am taking this back, Patricia. The Craigslist ad said “...in used but good condition.” 1.3256 0.05181 129 95 26 8
2665 For the millionth time, it’s not that I don’t want to do the dishes 1.3256 0.05181 129 95 26 8
2666 I’ll be back when they give me proper PPE.” 1.3254 0.04758 126 89 33 4
2667 Is it just me, or has this thing gotten a lot quieter lately? 1.3254 0.05143 126 92 27 7
2668 I know I promised you heaven on earth, but I’m taking it all back. 1.3254 0.05265 126 93 25 8
2669 Yes, I'll be hungry after I'm done. 1.3254 0.05384 126 94 23 9
2670 "and they said:"No, Sysyphus, you can't work from home"" 1.3252 0.05227 123 90 26 7
2671 Honey, try to rotate a little slower today. I can’t find my work blouse and have a video call this afternoon. 1.3252 0.05476 123 92 22 9
2672 You’re right Sweetheart. It doesn’t give us joy anymore and it’s time to get rid of it.” 1.3252 0.05353 123 91 24 8
2673 Well, back to the drawing board. 1.3252 0.05353 123 91 24 8
2674 What are you now, Harold? Atlas? 1.3252 0.05476 123 92 22 9
2675 Don’t forget the toilet paper. 1.3252 0.05476 123 92 22 9
2676 Can you grab the garbage on your way out? 1.3252 0.05353 123 91 24 8
2677 Atlas isn’t going to be happy when he figures out you dropped it.” 1.3252 0.04689 123 86 34 3
2678 I know you’re essential honey, but couldn’t you at least put on some pants?” 1.3252 0.05097 123 89 28 6
2679 Yeah, don't worry. I can get the door too. 1.3252 0.05476 123 92 22 9
2680 Are you sure you’re considered an essential worker? 1.3252 0.04965 123 88 30 5
2681 I'll take out the trash when I get home. 1.3252 0.05227 123 90 26 7
2682 Did you disinfect the damn thing? 1.3252 0.05596 123 93 20 10
2683 Excuse me: I have to shrug. 1.3252 0.05353 123 91 24 8
2684 I'll shrug if I damn well want to shrug. 1.3252 0.04829 123 92 24 7
2685 If you really have the whole world on your back, why am I standing here? 1.3252 0.05596 123 93 20 10
2686 Don't you dare "Hey Jude" me! 1.3252 0.05353 123 91 24 8
2687 My hands are full, dear. Would you mind slipping the keys in my pocket? 1.3252 0.04829 123 87 32 4
2688 I carried your children. It’s the least you can do. 1.3252 0.05353 123 91 24 8
2689 Honey, where did I leave my mask? 1.3252 0.04965 123 88 30 5
2690 Essential worker to others, Lois, even if you don't agree. 1.3252 0.05097 123 89 28 6
2691 Honey can you get the door? 1.3252 0.05227 123 90 26 7
2692 It's not the weight, dear it's the outfit. 1.3252 0.05162 123 92 23 8
2693 For the last time -- I'm essential, Karen! 1.3252 0.05097 123 89 28 6
2694 You knew I was an essential worker when you married me. 1.3252 0.05353 123 91 24 8
2695 Really Atlas, this is no way to get rid of the Coronavirus! 1.3252 0.05227 123 90 26 7
2696 I am taking it back. It's full of bugs. 1.3252 0.05714 123 94 18 11
2697 Do I still love you? Short answer: Atlas shrugs. 1.3252 0.05227 123 90 26 7
2698 Out for a spin? 1.3252 0.04965 123 88 30 5
2699 Karen, it's been two months in this apartment with zero symptoms.  I promise you I'm not going back out there carrying some huge viral load. 1.3250 0.05571 120 90 21 9
2700 Sisyphus was busy? 1.3250 0.05181 120 87 27 6
2701 Yes, I know, but today is back and glutes day.” 1.3250 0.05181 120 87 27 6
2702 Don’t forget the milk on your way back home 1.3250 0.05571 120 90 21 9
2703 Just be home by 5. I have mah jong. 1.3250 0.05696 120 91 19 10
2704 ‘Fine. I’ll see if I can return it without the receipt’ 1.3250 0.05444 120 89 23 8
2705 You’ll get it right next time, hon.” 1.3250 0.05314 120 88 25 7
2706 Thing is, it’s not actually that heavy...it’s just the emotional burden that weighs on you. 1.3250 0.05314 120 88 25 7
2707 Atlas, we need to talk about your at-home fitness routine. 1.3250 0.05314 120 88 25 7
2708 Can't believe I've got to come back for Heaven. 1.3250 0.03483 120 89 28 3
2709 Maybe you got the house, but I got the gobstopper so I think we both know who the real winner is here, Nancy. 1.3250 0.05181 120 87 27 6
2710 I should have started with the moon 1.3250 0.04758 120 89 25 6
2711 I’m going to need help with Jupiter. 1.3250 0.05181 120 87 27 6
2712 You don’t hear me complaining like that wimp Sisyphus. 1.3250 0.04903 120 90 23 7
2713 You wanted me to be more worldly! 1.3250 0.05571 120 90 21 9
2714 Well, if you’d take it out before it’s overflowing... 1.3250 0.05181 120 87 27 6
2715 Tell me, honestly. Does this planet make my butt look big? 1.3250 0.05314 120 88 25 7
2716 I can’t face the world either until I have my coffee. 1.3250 0.04758 120 84 33 3
2717 Ok comma from now on I'll consider saying my punctuation out loud comma but thank you anyway for bringing me the world atlas period. 1.3250 0.05571 120 90 21 9
2718 You think I don't want to just drop it at Goodwill? 1.3250 0.05444 120 89 23 8
2719 Shrug....and you can forget coming home! 1.3243 0.05747 111 83 20 8
2720 Do you have any idea how hard it is living with someone like you? 1.3237 0.05025 139 103 27 9
2721 There's a 14 day isolation or return policy. I still have the receipt." 1.3228 0.05348 127 95 23 9
2722 No, Mom, satnav would not