Contest #704


Cartoon

704

The winning captions

These captions are chosen by The New Yorker.

  1. “No, you come in on four.”
  2. “Don’t worry. We know how to conduct ourselves.”
  3. “We promise there will be no awkward silence.”


Name Value
Submission deadline 2020-04-05T18:18:00.000Z
Voting started -
Voting ended 2020-04-19T18:20:00.000Z
Finalists announced 2020-04-13T18:19:00.000Z
Magazine(s) announcing finalists issued April 20, 2020
Number of captions 4854
Number of responses 1076611
Number of participants -


Dashboard

In this table, the "mean" means the empirically measured average funniness score when the "unfunny", "somewhat funny" and "funny" receive a funniness score of 1, 2, 3 respectively. "Precison" is the standard error of the mean, the standard deviation of the mean estimate. With that, a caption with an empirical mean μ and precision σ has true mean in the range [μ - 2σ, μ + 2σ] with 95% probability by the 68-95-99.7 rule assuming the responses are indepedent and identically distributed.

Rank Caption Mean Precision Total votes "Unfunny" votes "Somewhat funny" votes "Funny" votes
0 Forget everything you've ever thought about elevator music. 2.2026 0.00557 16951 3095 7335 6521
1 You're in 702? Awesome, we're in 704" 2.1281 0.00616 16172 4064 5984 6124
2 Neither one of us plays, but we find they keep people at least six feet away. 2.1213 0.00624 14911 3545 6025 5341
3 We've been asked to work from home. 2.0683 0.00671 13322 3601 5225 4496
4 This is orchestra. You want mezzanine. 1.9932 0.00648 14211 4309 5704 4198
5 Sorry, this elevator is for top brass only. 1.9816 0.00684 13378 4317 4995 4066
6 I’d get in if I were you ...the other car has the percussion section ! 1.9813 0.00644 13527 3936 5918 3673
7 Room 310 asked for a wake-up call. 1.9479 0.00700 11967 3841 4914 3212
8 A man purse? You know how ridiculous you look? 1.9468 0.00736 12314 4488 4019 3807
9 Sorry, pal. Tubas accompany, three's a crowd. 1.9298 0.00771 11084 4083 3705 3296
10 We’re taking our music to the next level. 1.9279 0.00724 11357 3865 4476 3016
11 No, you come in on four. 1.9241 0.00769 10494 3715 3877 2902
12 Don’t worry. We know how to conduct ourselves. 1.8933 0.00732 10751 3750 4406 2595
13 You’d better get in — the next car has 76 trombones. 1.8894 0.00742 11075 4072 4161 2842
14 Finally, someone to push the button for us. 1.8571 0.00845 8262 3129 3193 1940
15 A lady on 16 said 'Send me to Aruba,' but that's not what Alexa heard. 1.8418 0.00883 8286 3447 2707 2132
16 We're practicing social dissonance. 1.8378 0.02332 1190 497 389 304
17 We're not together 1.8140 0.01005 6015 2498 2146 1371
18 After a night of drinking and debauchery, John arrives home to face the music. 1.8104 0.00959 6792 2889 2302 1601
19 The little bell that goes 'ding' at each floor is broken. 1.8097 0.00883 7708 3195 2788 1725
20 If you prefer the traditional awkward silence,wait for the next car. 1.8046 0.00798 8561 3340 3558 1663
21 Yeah, it has its ups and downs. But a gig is a gig. 1.8003 0.00853 7736 3112 3061 1563
22 Fitness initiative by the hotel. You'd be surprised how many guests have been opting for the stairs. 1.7992 0.00937 6329 2528 2547 1254
23 It pretty much guarantees social distancing. 1.7861 0.01154 3805 1458 1703 644
24 Twenty bucks and we won't play. 1.7782 0.00899 7196 3072 2649 1475
25 The acoustics in here are incredible! 1.7748 0.00860 7328 3004 2975 1349
26 If you're a saint, come marching in. 1.7675 0.01039 5505 2425 1935 1145
27 We're desperately seeking Souza. 1.7595 0.00995 6008 2697 2066 1245
28 What do you mean you hate elevator music? 1.7594 0.00749 9611 4092 3792 1727
29 Sure, you can wait for the other one. But, I have to warn you, it has bagpipes. 1.7560 0.00864 7398 3182 2849 1367
30 It was the easiest way to carry the toilet paper out of Costco without raising suspicion 1.7466 0.00984 6153 2814 2087 1252
31 No bread or milk but we managed to get the last two sousaphones in town 1.7434 0.00938 6673 3036 2315 1322
32 We're your downstairs neighbors in 3G. We just wanted to give you one final opportunity to reconsider keeping that treadmill. 1.7287 0.01435 2846 1324 970 552
33 Is this the ICU? We're here with the new ventilators from POTUS. 1.7261 0.01168 4754 2374 1311 1069
34 Look, we don’t like the idea of working from home either 1.7243 0.01116 4316 1922 1664 730
35 Prepare to be intubated. 1.7220 0.01360 3396 1670 1000 726
36 Better jump in. There are 76 trombones in the next car. 1.7193 0.00841 7809 3623 2797 1389
37 We’re going up an octave 1.7180 0.01176 3975 1810 1476 689
38 Stop calling it a tuba and I'll stop calling it a "man-purse." 1.7157 0.01005 5525 2551 1994 980
39 Sorry, this elevator is reserved exclusively for the big brass. 1.7143 0.00941 6283 2910 2263 1110
40 Your first journey out of the house in months deserves a little pomp and circumstance, no? 1.7128 0.01392 2855 1317 1041 497
41 You didn't notice if a marching band got off on this floor did you?" 1.6968 0.01069 4674 2172 1747 755
42 No seriously, do you know how to get to Carnegie Hall? 1.6899 0.02300 1032 491 370 171
43 Oh, we don't play. It just keeps others six-feet away. 1.6865 0.00989 5388 2530 2017 841
44 Are you the guy who complained that the ice machine is too noisy? 1.6817 0.01206 3871 1901 1301 669
45 Hop in, the other elevator is baroque 1.6812 0.01318 3391 1713 1047 631
46 This is all that's left of the national endowment of the arts 1.6764 0.01398 3038 1563 901 574
47 We tried taking the stairs, but we get winded. 1.6647 0.01190 3671 1816 1297 558
48 Don't be ridiculous, of course we're essential. 1.6621 0.01180 3753 1890 1283 580
49 We can't leave. Your ex-wife paid for the whole day in advance. 1.6576 0.01458 2649 1357 844 448
50 Wanna hear our elevator pitch? 1.6486 0.01732 1824 934 598 292
51 We'd let you on, but we have our marching orders. 1.6445 0.01168 3696 1824 1363 509
52 Would you like to accompany us? 1.6403 0.01462 2299 1132 865 302
53 If there's a rabbi and duck behind you two guys, I've heard this joke. 1.6349 0.01487 2487 1310 779 398
54 519? We're in 518! 1.6346 0.01264 3268 1670 1123 475
55 Do you mind if we accompany you? 1.6320 0.01149 3788 1941 1329 518
56 No room-pah-pah. 1.6296 0.02134 1242 666 370 206
57 You can step in but there’s a reason they don’t call it a threeba. 1.6291 0.01734 1844 979 568 296
58 Yes, it's a coincidence. 1.6256 0.02164 1087 556 382 149
59 They help with social distancing 1.6213 0.01350 2614 1313 984 317
60 Sorry, we're going up an octave. 1.6169 0.01187 3610 1874 1245 491
61 Yes, we are going down, but no more than an octave. 1.6094 0.01163 3679 1914 1288 477
62 Your call, Buddy, but there are bagpipes in the next one. 1.6064 0.01275 2980 1552 1055 373
63 Take the next one. This is for the top brass only. 1.6055 0.01200 3498 1901 1117 480
64 Get out? We're not sure how we got in. 1.5858 0.01605 1965 1075 630 260
65 You're welcome to get on but we have to warn you, the acoustics are terrible. 1.5835 0.01268 2999 1610 1029 360
66 Looking for the unemployment office? Follow us. 1.5821 0.01525 2192 1208 692 292
67 Your name better be Sandy, this better be your birthday and you better tell your girlfriend what a great surprise this was. 1.5789 0.01663 1876 1048 570 258
68 Might as well squeeze in ... the next one's got the piano. 1.5771 0.01395 2589 1431 822 336
69 We will now play "Concerto No. 3 for Elevator and Two Tubas" by Otis. 1.5700 0.01881 1500 859 427 214
70 Did you think that elevator music just magically happens? 1.5625 0.01655 1719 945 581 193
71 Take the stairs, book boy. 1.5617 0.01621 2222 1354 490 378
72 We're the Trump Tower Social Distancing Enforcement Rapid Response Team. 1.5593 0.02446 928 552 233 143
73 Jerry was strangely comforted to see the universe messing with everyone. 1.5591 0.02425 905 528 248 129
74 Elevator music. 1.5578 0.01519 2112 1188 670 254
75 No worries, there's room in the Bach. 1.5530 0.01829 1519 877 444 198
76 Flat B, please. 1.5528 0.02316 881 493 289 99
77 We're filling in while the Muzak is being fixed. 1.5519 0.01603 1754 972 600 182
78 How about “Stairway to Heaven?” 1.5505 0.01651 1831 1058 540 233
79 The stairs don’t look so bad now, do they? 1.5474 0.02045 1065 587 373 105
80 He tooted...not me 1.5451 0.01658 1719 1035 473 211
81 We can play the theme from "Shaft". 1.5412 0.02200 1044 616 294 134
82 Some say the acoustics will blow you away, but we feel it will elevate you 1.5412 0.02404 850 493 254 103
83 Hey, in this economy a gig's a gig. 1.5368 0.01650 1494 885 466 143
84 Oh, there's plenty of room for you, but Steve just tooted. 1.5348 0.01879 1464 877 391 196
85 March madness. 1.5339 0.02483 796 467 233 96
86 C'mon. After three floors you will hardly notice it. 1.5299 0.01841 1340 767 436 137
87 does this make me look fat? 1.5290 0.02773 673 407 176 90
88 Tuba or not Tuba? Really? That's your question? 1.5272 0.01981 1286 772 350 164
89 The stairs were too much treble. 1.5256 0.02029 1174 694 343 137
90 We're not going down. We're getting down. 1.5251 0.01909 1257 733 391 133
91 He’s the Oom, I’m the Pah! 1.5246 0.01906 1260 732 396 132
92 Hurry up! The pool is closing soon, and these took forever to inflate. 1.5245 0.02557 736 435 216 85
93 If this does not make people keep a “social distance,” nothing will. 1.5228 0.01921 1270 745 386 139
94 I'm sorry, we don't know The Sound Of Silence. 1.5207 0.01992 1181 697 354 130
95 We're offering locally-sourced elevator music today. 1.5179 0.01943 1176 681 381 114
96 Just until our subway station reopens. 1.5174 0.01827 1150 708 339 103
97 Is that a piccolo, or are you just happy to see us? 1.5149 0.02358 940 584 228 128
98 We promise there will be no awkward silence. 1.5136 0.02011 1106 647 350 109
99 Floors a one, an' a two, an' a three, an' a four. 1.5115 0.02509 741 442 219 80
100 Yeah, we know it's not the best arrangement. 1.5110 0.03790 319 189 97 33
101 The acoustics are almost as good as the ladies' room. 1.5110 0.01781 1094 677 331 86
102 Here's a little tune by Buddy Holly. It's called, 'Wake Up Little Sousa.' 1.5109 0.02669 687 418 187 82
103 These babies will get you thirty, maybe forty feet of distance, easy. 1.5109 0.02115 1055 633 305 117
104 Going up pa pah? 1.5079 0.02173 1012 613 284 115
105 If people still don't get social distancing, then we'll switch to bagpipes. 1.5073 0.02066 1025 606 321 98
106 What time is your wake-up call again? 1.5057 0.02062 1050 647 295 108
107 This elevator's only big enough for the tuba us. 1.5051 0.02695 681 420 178 83
108 Just turn around and walk away...we're not afraid to use these. 1.5037 0.02181 957 575 283 99
109 Have you seen a guy waving a stick around wildly? 1.5034 0.02276 894 539 260 95
110 This really helps promote social distancing. 1.5030 0.02055 1000 583 331 86
111 Watch your step. I just emptied my spit valve. 1.4978 0.02282 928 574 246 108
112 We're finally dealing with that kid playing the violin in 7B. 1.4972 0.02267 899 547 257 95
113 Hi there – we’re your new neighbors. 1.4966 0.02255 890 538 262 90
114 If you have a trombone, you could probably horn your way in. 1.4960 0.02146 883 519 293 71
115 Sir, these are sousaphones. NO ONE is stupid enough to play a tuba on an elevator! 1.4956 0.02371 801 484 237 80
116 We repurposed them into social distancing devices. 1.4922 0.02204 898 549 260 89
117 I hope you enjoy live elevator music. 1.4889 0.02175 859 508 283 68
118 You could say we invented social distancing 1.4879 0.02371 828 513 226 89
119 You guys are good, but the performance I saw yesterday was on another level. 1.4876 0.02400 769 468 227 74
120 I hate these small venues. 1.4867 0.02338 791 483 233 75
121 This isn't what it looks like. 1.4817 0.02413 766 472 219 75
122 Hi, we're the Elevator Brothers, and this is 'WAKE UP, Little Sousa!' 1.4806 0.02443 747 461 213 73
123 You should see how they bring up the pianist. 1.4794 0.02414 753 463 219 71
124 No, I don't think today will end on a high note. 1.4794 0.02457 753 469 207 77
125 Godot? 1.4793 0.02628 653 408 178 67
126 Seventy-six trombones stuck in the balcony, while a hundred and ten coronets take the stairs. 1.4786 0.02484 748 469 200 79
127 It was supposed to be a scuba convention, but SOMEBODY misheard. 1.4764 0.02628 678 429 175 74
128 this is the only rehearsal space that hasn't been shut down 1.4759 0.02387 685 407 230 48
129 Someone at the penthouse ordered a major blow job. 1.4755 0.02686 715 475 142 98
130 Do you by any chance know what floor the Goldstein bar mitzvah is on ? 1.4741 0.02472 696 430 204 62
131 Guess what, Neighbor! With the arts center closed, Joyce and I now get to practice at home! 1.4722 0.02492 701 435 201 65
132 Hope you don't mind elevator music. 1.4717 0.02320 706 450 203 53
133 We're looking for B flat. 1.4703 0.02430 706 433 214 59
134 I need to warn you, we only play elevator music. 1.4700 0.03336 400 251 110 39
135 I'm not looking for any treble 1.4695 0.02474 688 424 205 59
136 Up On The Roof? Sure, in fact, that's our number one request. 1.4693 0.02415 684 414 219 51
137 Everyone keeps telling us we're on the wrong floor." 1.4677 0.03357 387 242 109 36
138 Better take the next elevator Sir. We only have room for a flute. 1.4671 0.02586 623 384 187 52
139 This is the new normal. 1.4666 0.02685 658 425 159 74
140 We're in a New Yorker cartoon. 1.4664 0.02530 639 408 173 58
141 Apparently we aren't welcome in the lobby. 1.4645 0.02505 648 398 199 51
142 I know what you're thinking, yes we are wearing the same shoes. 1.4645 0.02711 605 383 163 59
143 The good news is the building manager listened to your complaint about the elevator music. 1.4630 0.02647 622 392 172 58
144 Whoa! Check out the dude with the shoulder bag. 1.4610 0.03166 449 287 117 45
145 Whoa there, we don't want any treble. 1.4606 0.02677 634 407 162 65
146 Consider us A-Minor inconvenience. 1.4598 0.02717 609 390 158 61
147 Sorry, not everyone gets a pair of angels playing harps on their first request. 1.4596 0.02392 594 399 153 42
148 Is the hearing aid convention on this floor? 1.4583 0.02715 600 383 159 58
149 We’re here to start your day on a low note. 1.4574 0.02645 599 376 172 51
150 Sir, don't make us blow these. Please step back six feet. 1.4574 0.02667 575 358 171 46
151 Trump sent these in lieu of ventilators. 1.4574 0.02742 610 395 151 64
152 It's Tuba Tuesday. There was a memo. 1.4564 0.02658 574 357 172 45
153 We can only take you an octave down. 1.4558 0.02676 599 380 165 54
154 We also accept tips for not playing. 1.4533 0.02709 567 360 158 49
155 Tuba or not tuba, that is the question. 1.4514 0.02794 576 374 144 58
156 Trust me, it's better than awkward silence. 1.4471 0.02762 539 342 153 44
157 Hides the farts. 1.4461 0.02924 538 355 126 57
158 They keep everyone at least 6 feet away. 1.4459 0.02709 536 336 161 39
159 We doubled in only one day and we’ll be a quartet by tomorrow. By next week they’ll start to notice and it will be too late. 1.4457 0.02913 516 335 132 49
160 Do YOU think there’s room? 1.4451 0.02855 537 349 137 51
161 We go where the music takes us. 1.4438 0.02851 525 339 139 47
162 Our agent said he wanted to book us into smaller venues. 1.4436 0.02801 514 326 148 40
163 We've lost our key to E Flat. 1.4432 0.02809 519 331 146 42
164 This is nothing, you should have seen us in the cab on the way over! 1.4429 0.02740 508 317 157 34
165 Tuck your shirt in; you look like a dork. 1.4425 0.03026 513 343 113 57
166 I swear, that sound you heard was the tuba! 1.4420 0.02978 500 328 123 49
167 Unless you're a piccolo player the elevator is full. 1.4419 0.02837 525 339 140 46
168 They told us to bring the Big Brass with us when we go upstairs to the board meeting. 1.4408 0.02782 515 327 149 39
169 No, my pharmacy order was mouthwash. floss, and a tube a toothpaste. 1.4400 0.03076 475 314 113 48
170 This car's full. Wait for the woodwind section. 1.4398 0.02504 507 325 159 23
171 It ain't called a threeba. Now scram! 1.4397 0.02866 514 333 136 45
172 We’re here to meet with the top brass. 1.4395 0.02834 512 329 141 42
173 What time would you like your wake-up call? 1.4384 0.02727 495 331 125 39
174 Hi, we’re your new neighbors. 1.4380 0.02767 500 315 151 34
175 Yes, we know "The Girl From Ipanema." 1.4380 0.02811 500 318 145 37
176 We only have room for a flutist. 1.4374 0.02784 503 319 148 36
177 My apologies . You ordered an Uber? 1.4371 0.03084 485 325 108 52
178 We're a new live music service....Tuber. 1.4358 0.02960 491 322 124 45
179 Can you press 9 for us? 1.4350 0.02967 469 304 126 39
180 C’mon Ralph! Late for work and forgot your tuba, again? 1.4340 0.03204 424 280 104 40
181 The President said these would work. 1.4319 0.03049 477 318 112 47
182 We're the hospital's new intubation unit. 1.4307 0.03034 469 315 108 46
183 'In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida?' No problem! 1.4289 0.03002 464 305 119 40
184 Sorry, we only stop on the 3rd, the 5th, and 8th. 1.4289 0.02987 464 304 121 39
185 Two tunas? Oh, my mistake. 1.4286 0.03012 455 298 119 38
186 Either squeeze in now or you will end up with the percussion section. 1.4276 0.02808 456 314 106 36
187 Sorry, reserved for the top brass only. 1.4273 0.02984 454 296 122 36
188 President's Task Force for COVID-19. Don't ask. 1.4273 0.03127 454 305 104 45
189 We're part of the Shelter In Place Orchestra. The rest of the brass are on 3, 4, and 5, the strings are on 10, 11, 12, woodwinds are in the roof garden and the piano and timpani are in the lobby. 1.4273 0.03080 454 302 110 42
190 Do you know Stairway to Heaven? 1.4270 0.02960 452 293 125 34
191 Are you the one complaining about the elevator music? 1.4254 0.02922 449 289 129 31
192 Did you see which floor the 76 trombones went to? 1.4254 0.03006 449 294 119 36
193 Sorry–we’re headed up for a meeting with the top brass. 1.4244 0.03000 443 289 120 34
194 Want to listen to our elevator pitch? 1.4240 0.03043 441 290 115 36
195 You can come in if you like, but I have to warn you, the acoustics suck. 1.4240 0.03060 441 291 113 37
196 Is this floor where the saints go marching in? 1.4240 0.03043 441 290 115 36
197 Are there two plants standing against the wall? On each side of this elevator...just nod your head if they are there. 1.4230 0.03174 435 293 100 42
198 We're here to accompany you. 1.4217 0.02953 434 280 125 29
199 Board meeting. We're the brass. 1.4213 0.02980 432 280 122 30
200 Elevator polka was deemed an essential service. 1.4211 0.02709 418 287 106 25
201 Did you call for a TUber? 1.4209 0.03025 430 281 117 32
202 I know—it’s not what’s I thought ‘intubation’ meant either. 1.4204 0.03304 402 272 91 39
203 What? You were expecting 76 trombones? 1.4202 0.03062 426 280 113 33
204 Never seen a guy with a beret before? 1.4199 0.03249 381 251 100 30
205 Trump said playing tuba cures COVID-19... 1.4194 0.03190 422 284 99 39
206 Fuck trump. 1.4190 0.03423 420 296 72 52
207 Wait till you hear the acoustics when the door closes. 1.4185 0.03120 411 271 108 32
208 Your wife in 7G said you could use a pair of brass ones. 1.4169 0.03310 391 264 91 36
209 The good news is no one will hear you fart. 1.4158 0.03263 392 263 95 34
210 What happens in the elevator, stays in the elevator. 1.4156 0.03012 409 265 118 26
211 Sorry, fella. This elevator is reserved for the top brass 1.4156 0.03167 409 273 102 34
212 We're making elevator music great again. 1.4144 0.03160 403 268 103 32
213 Sorry, but the acoustics in here are incredible. 1.4135 0.03122 399 263 107 29
214 With these on, everyone stays 6 feet away! 1.4135 0.03202 399 267 99 33
215 Totally understand. People have been social distancing from us for years now. 1.4124 0.03810 291 197 68 26
216 Wanna hear "Flight of the Bumblebee"? 1.4122 0.03274 376 251 95 30
217 On a chance encounter, Bill realized that his Sousaphobia had suddenly returned. 1.4122 0.03174 393 261 102 30
218 We got the last two. 1.4118 0.03266 391 264 93 34
219 Going up or down an octave? 1.4107 0.03220 392 263 97 32
220 This elevator is exclusively for top brass. 1.4107 0.03257 375 250 96 29
221 Why are you carrying a man purse? 1.4103 0.03271 390 264 92 34
222 We can only go up to B flat. 1.4103 0.03148 390 258 104 28
223 Congratulations! You’re the millionth rider. 1.4099 0.05021 161 108 40 13
224 Sorry! There's not even an inch of oboe room in here. 1.4093 0.03191 386 257 100 29
225 We successfully smuggled in the toilet paper. 1.4084 0.03105 382 267 84 31
226 The executive elevator is only for the top brass. 1.4084 0.03235 382 256 96 30
227 Hi. Welcome to our live stream. 1.4079 0.03268 380 256 93 31
228 Is this floor 1 and 2 and 3 and 4 and? 1.4069 0.02853 376 265 88 23
229 They were on sale. 1.4069 0.03313 376 255 89 32
230 The next thirty-eight elevators are full. 1.4064 0.03170 374 247 102 25
231 Hey, aren't you guys supposed to be six measures apart? 1.4059 0.03182 372 246 101 25
232 Yes, it’s your turn to face the music. 1.4057 0.03317 350 233 92 25
233 Just our way to enforce social distancing. 1.4054 0.02828 370 255 97 18
234 We can go up, but only about an octave. 1.4048 0.03198 373 248 99 26
235 Sorry this elevator is going down an octave. 1.4048 0.03175 373 247 101 25
236 With social distancing, George no longer had to feel guilty about refusing to share an elevator with certain people. 1.4048 0.03264 373 251 93 29
237 FEMA said they are respirators. 1.4048 0.03358 336 223 90 23
238 Trust me pal, this is worse for me, I graduated from Juilliard. 1.4017 0.03244 361 241 95 25
239 This only goes to 1, 2, 1, 2, 3, 4 1.4017 0.03268 361 242 93 26
240 Are you sure you want to be intubated? 1.4017 0.03406 361 248 81 32
241 No sir, this is the TROMBONE tower. 1.4017 0.02584 361 262 81 18
242 You're in luck. We are taking requests. 1.4017 0.03244 361 241 95 25
243 We're working on our elevator pitch. 1.4017 0.03303 361 246 86 29
244 So much for ending the day on a high note. 1.4011 0.03256 359 240 94 25
245 After us come the trombones, the cornets should be close behind. If I were you, I'd take the stairs. 1.4006 0.03219 357 237 97 23
246 Fred, you forgot about Tuba Tuesday again?!?! 1.4000 0.03231 355 236 96 23
247 People are tired of elevator music. 1.3994 0.02385 353 262 75 16
248 It keeps us 6 feet apart. 1.3994 0.03218 353 234 97 22
249 With no one taking the subway, the buskers had to improvise. 1.3989 0.03402 351 240 82 29
250 We have no trouble keeping people six feet away.” 1.3983 0.02977 349 239 93 17
251 We can play elevator music or polka. 1.3971 0.03292 345 231 91 23
252 You didn't, by chance, see pass by, like, seventy-six trombones. 1.3965 0.03381 343 233 84 26
253 Maestro said we need to rest between the fourth and the fifth. 1.3959 0.03343 341 232 84 25
254 After 50 years of trying, the Alfie Brothers finally succeed at making elevator music worse. 1.3959 0.03317 341 240 74 27
255 We're here to enforce the quarantine. We'll be your musical accompaniment until you go back home. 1.3941 0.03296 340 228 90 22
256 Or you could ride up with the guys playing harps. 1.3941 0.03269 340 227 92 21
257 You can get on at intermission. 1.3941 0.03348 340 230 86 24
258 we are here to encourage you to stay at home 1.3941 0.03348 340 230 86 24
259 You seen a guy with a baton? 1.3935 0.03308 338 227 89 22
260 Tuba or not tuba. That is your question. 1.3929 0.03294 336 241 69 26
261 On that note, I will wait for the next elevator. 1.3922 0.03414 334 230 78 26
262 Would you like to hear Stairway to Heaven? 1.3922 0.03387 334 227 83 24
263 We figured it would be unfair to bother only our immediate neighbors 1.3916 0.03347 332 226 83 23
264 The little chime sound is out of order. 1.3916 0.03347 332 224 86 22
265 You're the one millionth rider on this elevator! 1.3914 0.03623 327 230 66 31
266 How do you get to Carnegie Hall? 1.3909 0.03414 330 225 81 24
267 Your upstairs neighbor hired us to play her to sleep. 1.3909 0.02656 330 237 79 14
268 Repent! 1.3899 0.03614 318 222 68 28
269 Perhaps you'd like to hear our elevator pitch? 1.3896 0.03387 326 221 83 22
270 We’re going up to see the top brass. 1.3889 0.03400 324 220 82 22
271 I'd take the next one. Some jerk with a flute pushed all the buttons before they got off. 1.3882 0.03357 322 221 79 22
272 Tubas? These are Sousaphones, you philistine. 1.3882 0.03328 322 216 87 19
273 Oh, the 76th Floor. Seen any trombones? 1.3882 0.02959 322 234 70 18
274 You didn't happen to see someone holding a baton, did you? 1.3882 0.03442 322 220 79 23
275 This was a good social distancing technique in high school so we figured we’d try it again 1.3882 0.03580 322 225 69 28
276 Sorry, this is where the horns come in. 1.3875 0.03485 320 222 73 25
277 Going down to c flat. 1.3875 0.03222 320 211 94 15
278 Better get on, the next car’s bagpipes. 1.3875 0.03370 320 216 84 20
279 We took it from the top. 1.3875 0.03370 320 216 84 20
280 He's the oomp--I'm the pa-pa. 1.3875 0.03456 320 219 78 23
281 Step in, there's room. It's just the tuba us. 1.3875 0.03595 320 224 68 28
282 Are you going crescendo or decrescendo? 1.3868 0.03354 318 216 82 20
283 I'd get on. The other elevator has bagpipes. 1.3868 0.03413 318 216 81 21
284 Best social distancing tool ever. 1.3861 0.03368 316 213 84 19
285 Is this car going up a fifth or down a fourth? 1.3861 0.03397 316 214 82 20
286 I specifically told Alexa I wanted two round-trip tickets to ARUBA! 1.3861 0.03542 316 219 72 25
287 Say, you must be our new neighbor. 1.3861 0.03514 316 218 74 24
288 The fuck you lookin' at? 1.3856 0.03796 306 219 56 31
289 We sound better in the stairwell. 1.3854 0.03351 314 211 85 18
290 They said we couldn’t practice in our room. 1.3854 0.03351 314 211 85 18
291 Are you George? Susan sent us to blow you off. 1.3851 0.03627 309 216 67 26
292 Anything special you’d like to hear? 1.3851 0.03539 309 213 73 23
293 Bill.. This is the final test for your new hearing aids 1.3846 0.03365 312 210 84 18
294 When you said,"up or down?" did you mean floor or octave? 1.3846 0.03334 312 209 86 17
295 We don't really know how to play these things. This is just to encourage everybody to stay at home. 1.3839 0.03470 310 212 77 21
296 I played phone booths until I met George. 1.3839 0.03409 310 210 81 19
297 There was nowhere else we could self isolate. 1.3839 0.03470 310 212 77 21
298 Any requests? 1.3831 0.03361 308 207 84 17
299 Is this floor a-one a-two a-three 1.3831 0.03514 308 212 74 22
300 Weirdly enough, you're the odd one out in this situation. 1.3831 0.03265 308 211 80 17
301 It's not your birthday? 1.3831 0.03361 308 207 84 17
302 So, Mr Zamfir, we meet again. But this time the advantage is mine! 1.3831 0.03454 308 210 78 20
303 Check out the weirdo with the man-purse. 1.3824 0.03590 306 213 69 24
304 May we play through 1.3824 0.03437 306 208 79 19
305 No, we don't actually play, but it makes social distancing a lot easier! 1.3816 0.03224 304 200 92 12
306 Yes, my good man, we are going up. And while we are, we'll be getting down. 1.3816 0.03575 304 211 70 23
307 You'll need to march in place if you want to ride with us. 1.3816 0.03388 304 205 82 17
308 Or, you can wait and see what's behind elevator door number two. 1.3808 0.03529 302 208 73 21
309 We're not sure how else to tell you, Greg. You've got to stop going to work. 1.3808 0.03529 302 208 73 21
310 We going to a meeting with the big brass. 1.3800 0.03144 300 204 84 12
311 Are you going up-two-three-four, or down-two-three-four? 1.3800 0.03481 300 205 76 19
312 Welcome. We're taking requests. 1.3793 0.03527 290 198 74 18
313 Of course we can do something by Queen. 1.3792 0.03654 298 209 65 24
314 Admit it... you're not getting in whether we're going up or down. 1.3792 0.03591 298 207 69 22
315 Maestro! We have found you at last. 1.3792 0.03192 298 210 73 15
316 Oh no Herman, another groupie. 1.3792 0.03623 298 208 67 23
317 We're here for the NPR tiny desk contest. 1.3792 0.03528 298 205 73 20
318 It's not about weight; it's about volume. 1.3784 0.03344 296 208 72 16
319 No. No. We insist. 1.3784 0.03511 296 203 74 19
320 We really think our act can make it to the top. 1.3784 0.03344 296 198 84 14
321 He can play "Free Bird," but I can't. I can play "Stairway to Heaven," but he can't. Sorry. 1.3784 0.03057 296 210 74 12
322 Oh good, you brought the sheet music! 1.3776 0.03526 294 202 73 19
323 Trust me, you don't want to wait for the next one. 1.3776 0.03143 294 208 73 13
324 No, really, there's plenty of room-pah-pah. 1.3776 0.03718 294 208 61 25
325 Hey, my eyes are down here! 1.3776 0.03559 294 203 71 20
326 Congratulations your quarantine is over! 1.3767 0.03672 292 205 64 23
327 Did you hear us coming? 1.3767 0.03508 292 200 74 18
328 Don't worry, by the time the air we blow exists, it has already travelled 6 feet 1.3759 0.03314 290 203 72 15
329 They're for social distancing. You'll have to catch the next one. 1.3759 0.03689 290 204 63 23
330 Do you want any elevator music? No? Well, that's tubad. 1.3759 0.03623 290 202 67 21
331 You better try the stairs. There's seventy four more waiting in the lobby. 1.3759 0.03623 290 202 67 21
332 There’s just enough room for clarinet ! 1.3750 0.03504 288 197 74 17
333 Are you the guy who was so impressed by the hotel’s “golden toilet seats” in what he thought was the men’s room?! 1.3750 0.03606 288 203 64 21
334 Got any toilet paper? 1.3741 0.03690 286 201 63 22
335 Hi, we're looking for a Phil Harmonic. 1.3741 0.03656 286 200 65 21
336 It's better than wearing a face mask. 1.3741 0.03587 278 191 70 17
337 A birthday card felt so overdone. 1.3732 0.03464 284 193 76 15
338 I think we can make some room-pah-pah 1.3732 0.03806 284 203 56 25
339 Did you happen to see a bald guy in a tuxedo waving a stick around? 1.3732 0.03605 284 197 68 19
340 We’re working remotely. 1.3732 0.03464 284 193 76 15
341 It's management's way of encouraging employees to take the stairs. 1.3727 0.03495 271 183 75 13
342 Sure, we’ve got room, but only if you know the words to Bohemian Rhapsody.” 1.3723 0.03515 282 193 73 16
343 You think you can waltz in here? 1.3723 0.03656 282 197 65 20
344 It's to enforce social distancing guidelines, sir. 1.3714 0.03457 280 190 76 14
345 I thought you said you knew how to get to Carnegie Hall. 1.3714 0.03567 280 193 70 17
346 Our parents tried to tell us to pick another instrument, but we wouldn’t listen. 1.3714 0.02514 280 209 61 10
347 Mind if we horn in? 1.3714 0.03494 280 191 74 15
348 Any requests before the doors close? 1.3714 0.03344 280 190 78 12
349 It only sounds like I farted. 1.3714 0.03909 280 203 50 27
350 10th floor? We'll accompany you. 1.3714 0.03673 280 196 64 20
351 We’re going up, but just a half-step. 1.3714 0.03567 280 193 70 17
352 You might want to wait for the piccolo section. 1.3714 0.03602 280 194 68 18
353 We are part of Governor Cuomo's Sousaphone task force -- our motto, "Stay home or we'll play music that will make you want to kill yourself!" 1.3714 0.03707 280 197 62 21
354 We are self-intubating. 1.3714 0.03638 280 195 66 19
355 Just what we've been waiting on....a captive audience! 1.3705 0.03690 278 195 63 20
356 Of course you can wait for the next elevator, sir. But I hope you like accordions. 1.3705 0.03472 278 191 72 15
357 If you can’t sing, just clap your hands 1.3705 0.03509 278 190 73 15
358 Wow! Are you stoned too? 1.3705 0.03397 278 189 76 13
359 For good's sake, man. Don't just stand there. MARCH 1.3705 0.03472 278 189 75 14
360 You haven't seen 76 trombones go by, have you? 1.3705 0.03759 278 197 59 22
361 We're just trying to maintain some normalcy during all of this. 1.3705 0.03690 278 195 63 20
362 Did you see which way the parade went? 1.3705 0.03619 278 193 67 18
363 We're bringing elevator music back to its original grandeur. 1.3705 0.03159 278 196 71 11
364 Hidey ho, roomie! Ready for a rip roaring two-week quarantine? 1.3702 0.03883 262 186 55 21
365 Yes , President Trump has developed a new type of respirator . 1.3696 0.03707 276 194 62 20
366 I wouldn't stand there if I were you. 1.3696 0.03449 276 190 73 13
367 The other elevator has more room, but they have bagpipers. 1.3696 0.03372 276 185 80 11
368 We're headed to meet with the top brass 1.3696 0.03562 276 190 70 16
369 I heard there was a meeting of all the top brass... 1.3696 0.03742 276 195 60 21
370 Is this the floor with the lucky bride-to-be? 1.3696 0.03372 276 185 80 11
371 Sorry, but this car’s reserved for the top brass. 1.3696 0.03812 276 197 56 23
372 We’re here from YouTube. 1.3696 0.03742 276 195 60 21
373 The Muzak is on the blink. We were the most annoying replacement the Super could find on short notice. 1.3690 0.03754 271 191 60 20
374 It's called the "Social Distancing Polka." 1.3686 0.03725 274 193 61 20
375 You're lucky. We're in the middle of John Cage's 4'33". 1.3686 0.03652 274 191 65 18
376 We’re backup. Muzak is down. 1.3686 0.03425 274 187 74 13
377 We're here with the Make A Wish foundation. 1.3686 0.03578 274 189 69 16
378 People were complaining about the original elevator music, so here we are. 1.3686 0.03503 274 187 73 14
379 It could be worse, they could be bagpipes. 1.3686 0.03652 274 191 65 18
380 Come on in, the acoustics are great. 1.3686 0.03503 274 187 73 14
381 Hop on! We’re just about to play the corporate anthem. 1.3686 0.02874 274 203 60 11
382 I think there's room for a clarinet or oboe. 1.3686 0.03652 274 191 65 18
383 Going up or gettin down? 1.3676 0.03669 272 190 64 18
384 Ode to Joy . . . you couldn't tell? 1.3676 0.03632 272 189 66 17
385 And you thought march madness was cancelled 1.3676 0.03706 272 191 62 19
386 The 76 trombones are on the next elevator. 1.3676 0.03850 272 195 54 23
387 One of them was saying something, but Bruce wasn’t listening. The constant racket, the sleepless nights...these were the tenants in the apartment above his. Realizing this was his chance to end it all, he quickly reached to open his man purse. 1.3673 0.03784 275 196 57 22
388 So this is hell. 1.3667 0.03611 270 187 67 16
389 It’s very hard to play with a mask on. 1.3667 0.03030 270 191 70 9
390 Don't worry. We've been told to work from home. 1.3667 0.03495 270 184 73 13
391 I’d like to see you carry a tune, pal. 1.3657 0.03779 268 190 58 20
392 HELP! We can't reach the down button. 1.3657 0.03510 268 183 72 13
393 You can horn in if you'd like. 1.3657 0.03666 268 187 64 17
394 We're going down. But just an octave. 1.3657 0.03852 268 192 54 22
395 No, going Umpah. 1.3657 0.03219 268 202 53 13
396 Time to face the Muzak! 1.3657 0.03779 268 190 58 20
397 Can you help us? We’re lost without our conductor. 1.3647 0.03566 266 183 69 14
398 Unless you play a piccolo, this elevator is full. 1.3647 0.03834 266 190 55 21
399 We have room for one piccolo player. 1.3647 0.03605 266 184 67 15
400 It's okay! We were drawn before the pandemic. 1.3647 0.03834 266 190 55 21
401 Do you know how to get to Carnegie Hall? 1.3647 0.03403 266 193 57 16
402 They were out of face masks 1.3643 0.03554 258 176 70 12
403 We're headed for the fourth, the fifth, then a minor fall in this tiny lift. 1.3636 0.03662 264 184 64 16
404 Close the damn door. We’re sheltering in place. 1.3636 0.03501 264 180 72 12
405 Is the White House briefing on this floor? 1.3636 0.03778 264 187 58 19
406 My wife won't let us practice in the apartment. 1.3636 0.03582 264 182 68 14
407 Two tuba or not two tuba, that is the question. 1.3633 0.03895 267 193 51 23
408 Back up six feet or I will John Philip Sousa you to death. 1.3633 0.03570 256 184 56 16
409 Go ahead - come closer than six feet and see what happens 1.3626 0.03346 262 189 60 13
410 9 out of 10 riders prefer it to muzak 1.3615 0.03490 260 177 72 11
411 If you hit floor 12 for us we'll play something uplifting. 1.3615 0.03615 260 180 66 14
412 I hope you’re not in a hurry. There’s 76 trombones ahead of you. 1.3615 0.03574 260 179 68 13
413 The conductor said we needed to elevate our performance. 1.3605 0.03632 258 179 65 14
414 Hey! Eyes down here, bud 1.3594 0.03854 256 185 51 20
415 Don't worry; there's more room since the pianist quit. 1.3594 0.03564 256 176 68 12
416 We find it’s more effective than masks to encourage social distancing. 1.3594 0.03607 256 177 66 13
417 It's how the Germans are beating the Coronavirus. 1.3594 0.03814 256 182 56 18
418 We're just trying to stay an octave away from everyone else. 1.3586 0.03823 251 178 56 17
419 The gig is up. 1.3583 0.03624 254 176 65 13
420 You're safe. These are N95 tubas. 1.3583 0.03624 254 176 65 13
421 Let's take it from the top. 1.3583 0.03667 254 191 45 18
422 Soft Rock or Smooth Jazz? 1.3583 0.03624 254 176 65 13
423 That's a nice pair of hooters 1.3583 0.03833 254 181 55 18
424 Any chance you’re carrying a tune? 1.3583 0.03873 254 182 53 19
425 You want the mindfulness car 1.3571 0.03727 252 177 60 15
426 Elevator music is known to have a calming effect during times of stress. 1.3571 0.03597 252 174 66 12
427 Welcome to Trump Tower. 1.3571 0.03973 252 183 48 21
428 Ah, c’mon—they’re not banjos! 1.3571 0.03727 252 177 60 15
429 Wait! You mean you ordered tuna and not tuba?! 1.3571 0.04013 252 184 46 22
430 Is there anyone on this floor who needs cheering up? 1.3571 0.03769 252 178 58 16
431 Step in. The acoustics are great. 1.3571 0.03508 252 172 70 10
432 The other elevator has the bagpipes" 1.3571 0.03508 252 174 67 11
433 You the jerk in 312 who makes all the cracks about elevator music? 1.3563 0.03862 247 176 54 17
434 We're with the band. 1.3560 0.03788 250 177 57 16
435 The guy upstairs said you needed to face some music. 1.3560 0.03745 250 176 59 15
436 Tuba or not tuba, - that is the question. 1.3560 0.03745 250 176 59 15
437 Tuba? Did you say Tuba? Why don’t you google ‘Sousaphone’ while you wait for the next elevator. Good day. 1.3560 0.03658 250 174 63 13
438 Don't worry! The hearing loss is only temporary. 1.3560 0.03745 250 176 59 15
439 I know, we look like a couple of brass-holes. 1.3560 0.03872 250 179 53 18
440 This elevator is for ‘essential’ orchestra members only. 1.3560 0.03745 250 176 59 15
441 What’s your pleasure, sir? Ship’s horn, whale sounds, or Stairway to Heaven? 1.3548 0.03676 248 173 62 13
442 If this gig is fiercely successful, we plan to blow our way into the escalator scene. 1.3548 0.03631 248 175 60 13
443 Yeah, squeeze in. But BEFORE YOU ASK, no, we don’t know each other. 1.3548 0.03720 248 177 56 15
444 It's the latest thing in social distancing. One blast is all it takes! 1.3548 0.03494 248 178 57 13
445 If you can wait, the piccolo section is in the next car. 1.3548 0.03720 248 174 60 14
446 Our most requested number is "Stairway to Heaven" 1.3548 0.03850 248 179 51 18
447 Do you have a request? 1.3548 0.03720 248 174 60 14
448 Did you notice which way the glockenspiels went? 1.3548 0.03351 248 183 53 12
449 The sound's great. The marching, not so much. 1.3548 0.03764 248 175 58 15
450 We practice sonic distancing. 1.3548 0.03586 248 173 63 12
451 I hope you’re the piccolo. 1.3548 0.03720 248 174 60 14
452 No, going up. We're the top brass. 1.3548 0.03807 248 176 56 16
453 Any last requests before we go marching in? 1.3548 0.03850 248 177 54 17
454 Harold always felt nervous when riding with the top brass. 1.3548 0.03764 248 175 58 15
455 6-feet buddy. Or it's intubation. 1.3537 0.03694 246 172 61 13
456 It's like singing in the shower for tuba players. The acoustics are just amazing. 1.3537 0.03783 246 174 57 15
457 Ya got trouble, ya say. Would that be with a capital T? 1.3537 0.03783 246 174 57 15
458 Judging by the look on your face, I suspect you didn't order a polka-gram online. 1.3537 0.03694 246 172 61 13
459 Just as effective as a N95 mask. 1.3537 0.03738 246 173 59 14
460 After I deliver a one-minute B-flat, my partner will deliver some papers from your wife. 1.3525 0.03846 244 174 54 16
461 Buddy, it’s elevator music. Tuba Tuesdays. 1.3525 0.03802 244 173 56 15
462 A Polka for your thoughts. 1.3525 0.03757 244 172 58 14
463 Step back or we’ll toot! 1.3525 0.03712 244 171 60 13
464 Please stop pressing that button, there is STILL no room. 1.3525 0.03620 244 169 64 11
465 Why does everyone keep asking what were doing with tubas in the elevator? These are obviously sousaphones! 1.3525 0.03757 244 172 58 14
466 We never had to worry about social distancing. 1.3525 0.03525 244 170 64 10
467 What? Not a fan of elevator music? 1.3525 0.03757 244 172 58 14
468 We are the Trump Tower Trumpettes, the tubas you thought you were hearing are fake. 1.3525 0.04017 244 178 46 20
469 We had to practice somewhere! 1.3525 0.03757 244 172 58 14
470 Get in. 1.3525 0.04059 244 179 44 21
471 It's our way of ensuring social distancing 1.3525 0.03802 244 173 56 15
472 We’re practicing our elevator pitch. 1.3525 0.03620 244 174 58 12
473 Tu-ba or not Tu-ba, that is my question. 1.3525 0.03802 244 173 56 15
474 I hope you like smooth jazz. 1.3512 0.03821 242 172 55 15
475 We're enforcing social distancing. 1.3512 0.03589 242 167 65 10
476 Well, it's better than the awkward silences. 1.3512 0.03493 242 165 69 8
477 We have been here since we heard about the "Shelter in Place" order. Please bring food! 1.3512 0.03821 242 172 55 15
478 Hi neighbor we decided to take up the tuba while we shelter in place." 1.3512 0.03541 242 166 67 9
479 Keep back! He's gonna blow! 1.3512 0.03730 242 170 59 13
480 Middle management, meet top brass. 1.3512 0.03821 242 172 55 15
481 We normally play trombones but they kept getting crushed when the doors closed. 1.3512 0.03730 242 170 59 13
482 It guarantees that people will stay 6 feet away from us. 1.3512 0.03776 242 171 57 14
483 Like Trump, we are always Tooting our Horns! 1.3512 0.03589 242 167 65 10
484 Trump sent us. He had this super genius idea to use tubas as ventilators. 1.3512 0.03996 242 176 47 19
485 Yes, we take requests. 1.3512 0.03776 242 171 57 14
486 I'm warning you, that's close enough! 1.3512 0.03776 242 171 57 14
487 What? You thought you ordered two tunas? 1.3512 0.03865 242 173 53 16
488 Because the conductor said we should start on 3. 1.3512 0.03730 242 170 59 13
489 Is the UCLA marching band reunion on this floor? 1.3512 0.03821 242 172 55 15
490 Who did you expect? The New York Philharmonic? 1.3512 0.03865 242 173 53 16
491 Better than 76 trombones. 1.3512 0.03821 242 172 55 15
492 Sure, there's room. If you don't mind listening to 'Dueling Sousaphones' for 25 floors. 1.3512 0.03776 242 171 57 14
493 We'll be rehearsing here until quarantine's over. 1.3512 0.03776 242 171 57 14
494 Taking elevator music to a new level. 1.3512 0.03684 242 169 61 12
495 As the President has said, if anything can make the virus go away it's the sousaphone. So you're twice as safe with us, sir. 1.3504 0.03908 234 167 52 15
496 Because the acoustics in the stairway were terrible. 1.3502 0.03874 237 169 53 15
497 The cello section should arrive in elevator B any second now, but it's the pianist i'm worried about. 1.3500 0.03974 240 174 48 18
498 A new concept in elevator music. Any requests? 1.3500 0.03974 240 174 48 18
499 Would you like to hear our elevator pitch? 1.3500 0.03606 240 166 64 10
500 Live elevator music? No wonder the rent here is so high. 1.3500 0.03930 240 173 50 17
501 Horning in? 1.3500 0.03654 240 176 49 15
502 Do you happen to know which conference room the Narcolepsy Support Group is meeting in? 1.3500 0.03974 240 174 48 18
503 It’s the best way we’ve found to keep people six feet away from us. 1.3489 0.03653 235 163 62 10
504 Speaking for myself, it’s taken years of therapy, but I’m finally comfortable tooting my own horn. 1.3489 0.03941 235 169 50 16
505 Looks like we're the horns of your dilemma. 1.3489 0.03941 235 169 50 16
506 This keeps everyone six feet from us. 1.3489 0.03751 235 165 58 12
507 One or two good blasts and we get all the social distancing we need. 1.3489 0.03847 235 167 54 14
508 Bagpipes? Try the next elevator. 1.3489 0.03800 235 166 56 13
509 Michael? Your secret admirer sends their regards. 1.3489 0.03703 235 164 60 11
510 How does yours fit in such a small bag? 1.3489 0.03800 235 166 56 13
511 Come on in. It's a blast! 1.3487 0.03720 238 167 59 12
512 THIS IS NOTHING. THERE'S 74 TROMBONES RIGHT BEHIND US. 1.3487 0.03767 238 168 57 13
513 Stay at home, or listen to some elevator music. You choose. 1.3487 0.03720 238 167 59 12
514 Just in case someone gets closer than six feet. 1.3487 0.03524 238 171 56 11
515 The flash mob alert didn't say which floor. 1.3487 0.03574 238 164 65 9
516 Threeba? 1.3487 0.03524 238 183 41 14
517 Tipping is entirely optional. 1.3487 0.03720 238 167 59 12
518 You'll have to take the next one, unless that's a piccolo in your pocket, 1.3487 0.03767 238 168 57 13
519 We're taking elevator music to a new level. 1.3487 0.03860 238 170 53 15
520 We're going one octave up. 1.3487 0.03672 238 166 61 11
521 It's a very effective social-distancing instrument. 1.3487 0.03860 238 170 53 15
522 Is this ladies underwear? 1.3487 0.03951 238 177 42 19
523 We're taking requests. 1.3487 0.03370 238 172 57 9
524 At times like this we need to band together 1.3476 0.03594 233 163 60 10
525 Sorry, Bob - this one's just for top brass. 1.3476 0.02880 233 174 55 4
526 The marching band took the stairs. 1.3476 0.04099 233 171 43 19
527 They cancelled the audition due to the virus. 1.3476 0.02228 233 184 42 7
528 They got on on the ninth and the basses are loaded. 1.3476 0.03962 233 168 49 16
529 C'mon in. We're playing some heavy metal. 1.3476 0.03867 233 166 53 14
530 I'll Wait 1.3476 0.03962 233 168 49 16
531 Is that a kazoo in your bag, or are you just happy to see us? 1.3476 0.03915 233 167 51 15
532 Welcome to the future of Elevator Music. 1.3476 0.03819 233 165 55 13
533 One tuba per car? Who knew? 1.3476 0.03962 233 168 49 16
534 We don't do 'Starirway to Heaven'. Got it? 1.3476 0.03671 233 162 61 10
535 We're a heavy metal band and we're here to kick some brass! 1.3476 0.03006 233 178 47 8
536 If you're looking for the 76 trombones, they took the stairs. 1.3476 0.03962 233 168 49 16
537 We've switched to live elevator music. 1.3476 0.03620 233 161 63 9
538 We’re the elevator music. Hope you like heavy metal”. 1.3476 0.03915 233 167 51 15
539 What’d you expect, 76 trombones? 1.3476 0.03410 233 166 58 9
540 It’s safe-our tubas are tied 1.3476 0.03770 233 164 57 12
541 Sure you hear it all the time, but have you heard it LIVE? 1.3476 0.03770 233 164 57 12
542 We figured now was the chance to follow our dreams. 1.3475 0.03540 236 162 66 8
543 Do you know where the Omalley wake is? 1.3475 0.03972 236 171 48 17
544 We're trying to elevate our sound. 1.3475 0.03641 236 164 62 10
545 No, it's fine, we're 6 octaves apart. 1.3475 0.03690 236 167 57 12
546 You go ahead,I am going to wait for the violin section. 1.3475 0.03786 236 167 56 13
547 Muzak is temporarily out of order. 1.3463 0.03689 231 161 60 10
548 We're all sadly working from home these days. 1.3450 0.03908 229 164 51 14
549 When you’ve been married as long as we’ve have you often find yourselves dressed alike. 1.3450 0.03908 229 164 51 14
550 They were advertised as ventilators. 1.3448 0.04197 232 173 38 21
551 Feel free to horn in 1.3448 0.03969 232 168 48 16
552 Oh, we're going wherever you're going... 1.3448 0.03726 232 163 58 11
553 Of course we're going down. Do these look like piccolos to you? 1.3448 0.03825 232 165 54 13
554 Enforcing social distancing, friend. 1.3448 0.03467 232 162 62 8
555 We've been practicing social distancing for years! 1.3448 0.03825 232 165 54 13
556 The practice rooms are being painted. 1.3448 0.03625 232 161 62 9
557 We’re just filling in while the MUZAK’s being repaired. 1.3448 0.03573 232 162 61 9
558 Why yes, we do take requests. 1.3448 0.03676 232 162 60 10
559 Our wives wouldn't let us shelter in place for one more second. 1.3435 0.03427 230 159 65 6
560 We do covers of Arrowsmith tunes, mainly the one about the elevator 1.3435 0.03536 230 174 44 12
561 That's weird. He doesn't have a tuba. 1.3435 0.03745 230 162 57 11
562 ...This is what I get for complaining about the elevator muzak. 1.3435 0.04038 230 168 45 17
563 We're bringing elevator music to a new low. 1.3435 0.03745 230 162 57 11
564 You don't like elevator music or just tubas? 1.3435 0.04038 230 168 45 17
565 What floor and can you carry a tune? 1.3422 0.03797 225 159 55 11
566 People with gas pay us to play during long elevator rides. 1.3422 0.04146 225 166 41 18
567 The Management has decided to change the elevator music 1.3422 0.03950 225 162 49 14
568 Are you the piccolo guy? 1.3422 0.03744 225 158 57 10
569 Up beat or down beat? 1.3421 0.03915 228 164 50 14
570 Sorry, the elevator needs a tune-up. 1.3421 0.03764 228 161 56 11
571 It’s two-fer Tuba Tuesday. Deal with it. 1.3421 0.04060 228 167 44 17
572 If we give you a lift, we’ll get in treble.” 1.3421 0.03964 228 165 48 15
573 You're welcome to come with us while we rehearse. All we ask is that you listen quietly. 1.3421 0.03865 228 163 52 13
574 Have you seen 76 trombones on this floor? 1.3421 0.03606 228 163 55 10
575 Well run back and get it! There's nothing like three tubas in an elevator! 1.3421 0.04012 228 166 46 16
576 Sorry, we can’t start your day on a high note. 1.3421 0.03915 228 164 50 14
577 You’ll have to take the piccolo elevator we only go to the lower floors. 1.3421 0.04154 228 169 40 19
578 We have room if you're a piccolo player. 1.3421 0.03865 228 163 52 13
579 You're not the percussionist, are you? 1.3410 0.03717 217 151 58 8
580 Hope you’re going down. We can’t go any higher.” 1.3408 0.03709 223 156 58 9
581 Every time we share the elevator with Penn and Teller this happens. 1.3408 0.03869 223 162 48 13
582 What floor? We'll pick something from our repertoire based on the length of your ride. 1.3408 0.03869 223 159 52 12
583 The noise is both of us. The smell is him. 1.3396 0.03460 212 159 43 10
584 Please hurry, the International Tuba Convention starts soon on the 3rd floor! 1.3394 0.03727 221 155 57 9
585 Make room? Blow me! 1.3394 0.03782 221 166 42 13
586 Requests? 1.3394 0.03672 221 156 56 9
587 Did 76 Trombones get off on this floor, sir? 1.3394 0.03615 221 153 61 7
588 We're going to the lower floors. You'll want to wait for the piccolos to go higher. 1.3394 0.03727 221 155 57 9
589 Social distancing enforcement. They couldn't get a banjo player on such short notice. 1.3394 0.03727 221 155 57 9
590 Have you seen 102 cornets? 1.3394 0.03889 221 161 47 13
591 This is the express to the audiologist's office. 1.3380 0.03871 213 151 52 10
592 Mind if we play through? 1.3380 0.03695 213 148 58 7
593 Somewhere in the world it's halftime. 1.3380 0.03984 213 153 48 12
594 Did you call for boom service? 1.3379 0.04169 219 162 40 17
595 Come on in, we'll practice quietly. 1.3379 0.03856 219 156 52 11
596 The bass-ment, of course. 1.3379 0.03963 219 158 48 13
597 I knew I should've rehearsed my elevator pitch. 1.3379 0.03963 219 158 48 13
598 We have the same therapist. 1.3379 0.04016 219 159 46 14
599 Come on in. We're just a couple of harmless blowhards. 1.3379 0.03632 219 155 56 8
600 A month ago we would have let you in. 1.3379 0.03963 219 158 48 13
601 Yeah, it's just us. The seventy-six trombones wouldn't fit. 1.3379 0.03856 219 158 49 12
602 You say Level B, I say Level C Flat 1.3379 0.04068 219 160 44 15
603 Did you see 76 trombones go by? We're late. 1.3379 0.04068 219 160 44 15
604 Up a fourth or down a fifth? 1.3379 0.03963 219 158 48 13
605 Come on in--the acoustics are amazing! 1.3379 0.03515 219 159 52 8
606 We just got our marching orders 1.3364 0.03650 217 151 59 7
607 Great! The last step now is to click the "I Agree" button, and we can get going. 1.3364 0.03821 217 156 50 11
608 It was him. 1.3364 0.04091 217 159 43 15
609 If you can wait, the piccolo players will be on the next one. 1.3364 0.03765 217 153 55 9
610 We fell in love with the acoustics. Now we're sheltering in place. 1.3359 0.05038 131 94 30 7
611 Sorry, you can’t use this elevator. We’re going to take it from the top. 1.3349 0.04101 212 155 43 14
612 We never have to share an elevator 1.3349 0.03726 215 151 56 8
613 I don't know...how low can YOU go? 1.3349 0.03841 215 153 52 10
614 Sorry, tubas only! 1.3349 0.03841 215 153 52 10
615 So, what do you think of our elevator pitch? 1.3349 0.03454 215 153 55 7
616 Please take the next elevator, unless you play the piccolo. 1.3349 0.04007 215 156 46 13
617 Nice man purse, weirdo. 1.3349 0.04167 215 159 40 16
618 It’s not fair you had to learn like this, but this is who I am now. 1.3349 0.03897 215 154 50 11
619 You order the tuba on rye?" 1.3349 0.04114 215 158 42 15
620 We heard you were talking shit about John Phillip Sousa 1.3333 0.03955 210 151 48 11
621 You’re in luck. There’s plenty of room. 1.3333 0.04030 213 155 45 13
622 Piccolo players welcome 1.3333 0.03838 210 149 52 9
623 Step back! This next tune is infectious! 1.3333 0.04125 210 154 42 14
624 We're self-isolating from the woodwind section. 1.3333 0.04030 213 155 45 13
625 Seems that there is only room for the tuba of us. 1.3333 0.03918 213 153 49 11
626 Tuba-gram. 1.3333 0.03955 210 151 48 11
627 6 feet dude or you'll be tubaed against the wall. 1.3333 0.02062 210 168 39 3
628 The belt to carry these new toilet rolls is a hassle, but on the upside, we're good to end of this Presidency ! 1.3333 0.04013 210 152 46 12
629 You might want to wait for the piccolos. 1.3333 0.04069 210 153 44 13
630 No need to thank us, just doing our job. 1.3333 0.04084 213 156 43 14
631 Could you press BASS-ment? 1.3333 0.04192 213 158 39 16
632 Congratulations! You're the millionth idiot to push the "down" button on the basement floor! 1.3333 0.04192 213 158 39 16
633 You must be the piccolo. 1.3333 0.03804 213 151 53 9
634 We sound a lot better from the 18th floor. 1.3333 0.03897 210 150 50 10
635 Sorry, this lift's reserved for the big brass. 1.3333 0.04125 210 154 42 14
636 Have you heard the one about two sousaphone players in an elevator? 1.3333 0.03862 213 152 51 10
637 We're just looking for a higher note. 1.3333 0.03838 210 152 48 10
638 Sure, you can take the next one...but it’s dueling banjos. 1.3333 0.03779 210 148 54 8
639 Sorry. This was the only space we could reserve for our rehearsal. 1.3333 0.03862 213 154 48 11
640 You were expecting seventy-six trombones? 1.3333 0.03838 210 149 52 9
641 Antisocial distancing. 1.3333 0.04013 210 152 46 12
642 Six feet, pal, or feel the wrath of big brass! 1.3333 0.04041 210 155 41 14
643 I play piccolo. May I join in? 1.3333 0.03261 210 156 47 7
644 The other 74 took the stairs 1.3333 0.04013 210 152 46 12
645 We're here to help you relax. 1.3333 0.04152 210 157 37 16
646 Nice messenger bag, nerd. 1.3333 0.04179 210 155 40 15
647 They told us to come back with face masks. 1.3333 0.03975 213 154 47 12
648 It’s less fun than it looks. 1.3333 0.03779 210 148 54 8
649 It’s not what it sounded like. 1.3333 0.03918 213 153 49 11
650 Sorry, we booked this for our practice space three weeks ago. You can have it after 10:00. 1.3333 0.03975 213 154 47 12
651 You're welcome to join us, we're just feeling a bit horny 1.3333 0.04179 210 155 40 15
652 I hear heavy metal is going places. 1.3333 0.03897 210 150 50 10
653 We find they're very effective at encouraging proper social distance. 1.3333 0.03918 213 153 49 11
654 You might want to take the next one. Eugene tooted. 1.3333 0.04069 210 153 44 13
655 You are new here right? Welcome to the building, we are your up stair neighbors. 1.3333 0.03955 210 151 48 11
656 No. We're going down. Way,way down. 1.3333 0.03779 210 150 51 9
657 One step closer and we‘ll blow! 1.3333 0.04138 213 157 41 15
658 Oh hi! Meet your new neighbours! 1.3317 0.04204 208 154 39 15
659 Get ready for some live Muzak, motherfucker. 1.3317 0.03674 208 159 38 11
660 What a coincidence! We just moved into the apartment one floor above you! 1.3317 0.03977 208 150 47 11
661 And then we used our busking money to buy a penthouse 1.3317 0.04035 208 151 45 12
662 WE'RE UPGRADING THE ELEVATOR MUSIC 1.3317 0.04259 208 155 37 16
663 Sorry, the Muzak is out. Do you prefer Sousa or Gershwin? We also know a good circus march, but it tends to attract clowns. 1.3317 0.03977 208 150 47 11
664 Come within 6 feet and we'll play Sousa. 1.3317 0.03977 208 150 47 11
665 You don’t have the brass to join us. 1.3317 0.04313 208 156 35 17
666 It's Essential Workers Day. 1.3317 0.03918 208 149 49 10
667 This venue has its ups and downs. 1.3317 0.03736 208 146 55 7
668 This building has elevator music like no other. 1.3317 0.03859 208 153 44 11
669 You don’t mind elevator music, do you? 1.3317 0.03889 208 151 46 11
670 We're practicing our Muzak. 1.3317 0.03918 208 149 49 10
671 Just a lot of hot air trying to reach new heights.” 1.3317 0.03918 208 149 49 10
672 Excuse me, but did you see which way the 76 trombones went? 1.3317 0.03859 208 148 51 9
673 Can you pull us apart? 1.3317 0.04092 208 152 43 13
674 Not exactly your idea of elevator music, is it? 1.3317 0.04035 208 151 45 12
675 Sorry, this six feet of space is already taken. 1.3317 0.03918 208 149 49 10
676 We’re stopping on floors 5, 6, 7, 8. 1.3317 0.04016 205 148 46 11
677 It wasn't me... 1.3301 0.04116 206 151 42 13
678 We were practicing in the stairwell and got kicked out. 1.3301 0.03627 206 145 55 6
679 Social what? 1.3301 0.04000 206 149 46 11
680 It looks like today is your lucky day! 1.3301 0.03940 206 148 48 10
681 There are ups and downs in any great musician's career 1.3301 0.03879 206 147 50 9
682 We still have room for a triangle. 1.3301 0.04230 206 153 38 15
683 If you get any closer we’ll start playing! 1.3301 0.03818 206 146 52 8
684 Mitch McConnell (right) and Marco Rubio (left) discover new ways to spread the Coronavirus. 1.3301 0.04058 206 150 44 12
685 TAKE THE NEXT ONE! ...Sorry, I didn't realize I was shouting. 1.3301 0.04173 206 152 40 14
686 Crescendo? Or diminuendo? 1.3301 0.04000 206 149 46 11
687 Abandon all hope, ye who enter here. 1.3300 0.04039 203 147 45 11
688 It's two-fer, tuba, Tuesday. What's it to 'ya?! 1.3284 0.03900 204 146 49 9
689 You should've thought twice before complaining about the Muzak. 1.3284 0.03962 204 147 47 10
690 Yes I have no bananas. 1.3284 0.03962 204 147 47 10
691 Two tuba players walk out of an elevator. Take it. 1.3284 0.03838 204 145 51 8
692 Should we hold the note for you? 1.3284 0.03774 204 149 46 9
693 You’re gonna love it. The acoustics are fabulous. 1.3284 0.04022 204 148 45 11
694 Can you please direct us to Larry David's office? 1.3284 0.03774 204 144 53 7
695 We're here for the laxative commercial? 1.3284 0.04140 204 150 41 13
696 You probably want the elevator to G for 'garage.' This one goes to G on the bass clef . 1.3284 0.03710 204 155 39 10
697 You’ll have to wait for the next one, we’ve locked horns. 1.3284 0.03962 204 147 47 10
698 What is this, live elevator music? 1.3284 0.04140 204 150 41 13
699 Sorry, this elevator is bass meant only. 1.3284 0.03869 204 148 46 10
700 We moved into the next door apartment!! 1.3284 0.03962 204 147 47 10
701 Well I thought it needed less tuba, more cowbell. 1.3284 0.04082 204 149 43 12
702 Don't worry. Tubas have been deemed an essential service. 1.3284 0.03962 204 147 47 10
703 There's room for a piccolo. 1.3284 0.04082 204 149 43 12
704 Oh, we are essential. 1.3284 0.04198 204 151 39 14
705 The woodwinds took the escalator. 1.3284 0.03962 204 147 47 10
706 The co-op board never actually defined noise. 1.3284 0.03962 204 147 47 10
707 Did 76 trombones get off on this floor? 1.3284 0.03962 204 147 47 10
708 Spotify went down. 1.3268 0.04123 205 151 41 13
709 I’d take the next one if I were you. 1.3267 0.04045 202 147 44 11
710 Did you happen to see a marching band come this way. 1.3267 0.04165 202 149 40 13
711 The Muzak is being repaired 1.3267 0.04106 202 148 42 12
712 You can't go any lower that this. 1.3267 0.03921 202 145 48 9
713 Sorry, pal, you and your man purse can take the stairs. 1.3267 0.03921 202 145 48 9
714 Sorry, this is just the beginning of the parade. 1.3267 0.04224 202 150 38 14
715 Of course we’re going down. We’re tuba players. 1.3267 0.04165 202 149 40 13
716 Is this the quiet floor? 1.3267 0.04224 202 150 38 14
717 Check our this guy’s male purse, Jerry. He looks ridiculous! 1.3267 0.03984 202 146 46 10
718 Yes! We DO know "Smoke on the Water" 1.3267 0.03921 202 145 48 9
719 Helen threw us out, can we practice at your place? 1.3267 0.04045 202 147 44 11
720 You can maintain social distance or listen to a sousaphone concert in an elevator. 1.3267 0.03662 202 141 56 5
721 No, we're Sousa. Mozart is to the left. 1.3267 0.03984 202 146 46 10
722 We have room for a flautist. 1.3250 0.03943 200 146 44 10
723 Going down? We're getting down. 1.3250 0.03943 200 144 47 9
724 No thanks, I think I’ll wait for the string section 1.3250 0.03813 200 144 48 8
725 Since the garbage trucks stopped running, we're here to wake up everybody at 4 a.m. 1.3250 0.04130 200 147 41 12
726 No worries. With tubas, social distancing isn't a problem. 1.3250 0.04006 200 145 45 10
727 It might get a little loud. 1.3250 0.03747 200 141 53 6
728 ...and for some not able to work from home, the band plays on 1.3250 0.03943 200 144 47 9
729 We worked out a new elevator pitch. 1.3250 0.03943 200 144 47 9
730 Muzak had to lay us off, so we're working from home. 1.3250 0.04130 200 147 41 12
731 Tuba sandwich to go? 1.3250 0.03943 200 149 39 12
732 Barry’s plan to revolutionize elevator music was met with resistance. 1.3234 0.04231 201 150 37 14
733 I did order some Band-Aids, but this isn't what I expected... 1.3234 0.04112 201 148 41 12
734 You wouldn't by any chance be carrying a piccolo in that bag, would you? 1.3232 0.03766 198 143 48 7
735 You don't have to say a word. We know we're horny! 1.3232 0.04092 198 145 42 11
736 The elevator company did not pay its monthly Muzak fee. 1.3232 0.03965 198 143 46 9
737 Cash, ass or brass. Nobody rides for free! 1.3232 0.04335 198 149 34 15
738 Thank God, it's the flutist. 1.3232 0.04092 198 145 42 11
739 We'll be here all day 1.3232 0.04092 198 145 42 11
740 If you ride with us you'll get blown away! 1.3232 0.03965 198 143 46 9
741 Oh yes we got trouble, right here in River City, with a capital T. 1.3232 0.03900 198 142 48 8
742 Ride with an alto if you wanna go any higher. 1.3232 0.04335 198 149 34 15
743 There has been complaints about the elevator music, this ones called “I’ll give them something to complain about” 1.3232 0.04092 198 145 42 11
744 The big brass pays a surprise visit. 1.3232 0.03900 198 145 44 9
745 Two-ba, or not two-ba? 1.3232 0.04029 198 144 44 10
746 We're the Stereo Sousaphones---taking elevator music to a whole new level. 1.3232 0.03965 198 143 46 9
747 Yes, we came marching, tuba-two. 1.3214 0.03785 196 139 51 6
748 If you hum a few bars, we’ll try. 1.3214 0.03785 196 139 51 6
749 We got our marching orders. 1.3214 0.03987 196 142 45 9
750 Hot Tuba party in the penthouse! 1.3214 0.03785 196 146 41 9
751 We’re sick of Muzak. 1.3214 0.04179 196 145 39 12
752 Your super bought the "It's all about the bass" Musak package. 1.3214 0.04052 196 143 43 10
753 Going down? No. Getting down! 1.3214 0.03987 196 142 45 9
754 We understand that you're scheduled for a tubal ligation? 1.3214 0.04363 196 148 33 15
755 No, really, how to we get to Carnegie Hall?” 1.3214 0.03785 196 139 51 6
756 Could you press "7" for us, please! 1.3214 0.03921 196 141 47 8
757 Need a live virtual background for your next zoom meeting? 1.3196 0.03874 194 139 48 7
758 It's Fight song Friday's 1.3196 0.03804 194 138 50 6
759 Welcome! Next stop: Hell." 1.3196 0.04204 194 144 38 12
760 The company that provides our elevator music is closed due to the pandemic. What floor sir? 1.3196 0.04009 194 141 44 9
761 We’re working from home, too 1.3196 0.04075 194 142 42 10
762 Sorry, we're trying to get to B, but we keep getting stuck on G. 1.3196 0.04009 194 141 44 9
763 Sorry but we have our marching orders. 1.3196 0.03942 194 140 46 8
764 No, all of his hotels have the same elevator music ...why? 1.3196 0.04075 194 142 42 10
765 Don't worry. We'll send it back bassoon. 1.3196 0.04204 194 144 38 12
766 for whom the horns blow? they blow for you 1.3196 0.04391 194 149 29 16
767 The others got out on seven. 1.3196 0.04204 194 147 34 13
768 Haven't you ever seen heavy metal? 1.3196 0.04267 194 145 36 13
769 Did you order the parade? 1.3194 0.03981 191 138 45 8
770 You never heard of emotional support tubas? 1.3194 0.03981 191 138 45 8
771 Tubas? I don't see any tubas. Of course, if you mean sousaphones, then yes, we are both on the elevator with our sousaphones. 1.3194 0.04184 191 141 39 11
772 Are you sure you wanna wait? The other one only plays elevator music. 1.3194 0.04184 191 141 39 11
773 We're buskers. You pay us not to play. 1.3194 0.04117 191 140 41 10
774 Just so you know, a cartoonist is coming. 1.3194 0.04313 191 143 35 13
775 Actually, it's a sousaphone. 1.3194 0.03981 191 138 45 8
776 No, it's fine. I love elevator music. 1.3194 0.03768 191 135 51 5
777 We're looking for the Sousa wedding. 1.3177 0.04165 192 142 39 11
778 Remember stereo?! 1.3158 0.03771 190 144 38 8
779 For social distancing, nothing's better for getting people out of your way. 1.3158 0.03915 190 139 43 8
780 But you voted for no Muzak in the tenant's meeting. 1.3158 0.03915 190 139 43 8
781 True, if we WERE violinists, there WOULD be room for you. 1.3158 0.04190 190 141 38 11
782 Which floor's Audiology? 1.3158 0.03542 190 139 46 5
783 This was the best blind date ever! 1.3158 0.04448 190 147 27 16
784 No closer than 6 feet, sir, or we’ll have to blow 1.3158 0.04123 190 140 40 10
785 It’s perfect for social distancing. No one wants to be near us. 1.3155 0.03954 187 135 45 7
786 We're the John Philip Sousa Society recording elevator music. 1.3155 0.03652 187 133 50 4
787 Trust me, Marty, chicks dig musicians. 1.3155 0.04235 187 139 37 11
788 Please rejoin the band Bob. We really miss you. 1.3155 0.03954 187 135 45 7
789 I'd take this one. There are 76 trombones in the other one. 1.3155 0.04026 187 136 43 8
790 We're your wake up call. 1.3155 0.04026 187 136 43 8
791 Could you take the next elevator? We're actually practicing social distancing. 1.3155 0.03881 187 134 47 6
792 Tubas always get the shaft... 1.3155 0.03881 187 138 41 8
793 We're delivering a "Tubagram." Which way to the Break Room? 1.3149 0.03880 181 131 44 6
794 It's okay - most of the spit goes into the mouthpiece. 1.3149 0.04329 181 135 35 11
795 Life has its ups and downs, but tubas are basically elevating. 1.3138 0.04216 188 140 37 11
796 We're getting the band back together. 1.3135 0.04192 185 137 38 10
797 Obviously we're going down. 1.3135 0.03902 185 133 46 6
798 This elevator ain't big enough for the tuba us. 1.3135 0.04049 185 135 42 8
799 They stole our shoes because we couldn't get to our wallets! 1.3135 0.03976 185 134 44 7
800 You might have to wait, there are 76 trombones that still need a ride up. 1.3135 0.04121 185 136 40 9
801 Can you help us with our elevator pitch? 1.3135 0.03976 185 134 44 7
802 Did you see a guy in a funny hat and a long stick on this floor? 1.3135 0.03826 185 137 41 7
803 Sir, kindly step back 6ft or we will blow you back! 1.3135 0.04192 185 137 38 10
804 You don't happen to play trumpet, do you? 1.3135 0.03976 185 134 44 7
805 Wait if you like, but the other car has Muzak. 1.3135 0.04121 185 136 40 9
806 We kindly encourage you not to leave your hotel confinement, Sir, or you'll get a taste of live "elevator music". 1.3135 0.04330 185 139 34 12
807 I appreciate your enthusiasm, but you really don’t need to do this every time I take my lunch break. 1.3135 0.04049 185 135 42 8
808 I still think "Tuba or not tuba, that is the question" is funnier... 1.3135 0.04121 185 136 40 9
809 Okay, boomers 1.3135 0.04049 185 135 42 8
810 Which flat? 1.3135 0.04121 185 136 40 9
811 Musical Distancing 1.3135 0.03826 185 132 48 5
812 They finally updated the elevator music.” 1.3135 0.03826 185 132 48 5
813 Thank goodness, it's moving again! I've been stuck in here for 30 minutes with this freak. 1.3135 0.03976 185 136 41 8
814 It won't matter how funny your caption is. There's still no prize. 1.3135 0.04192 185 137 38 10
815 Sorry, but there's no room-pah-pah. 1.3135 0.04330 185 139 34 12
816 Trust me, you wanna wait for the next car. 1.3135 0.04049 185 135 42 8
817 Going up to the fart joke convention? 1.3135 0.04593 185 143 26 16
818 Best elevator music in town. 1.3135 0.03588 185 138 41 6
819 We've run out of face masks, but we've found these work just as well. 1.3135 0.04049 185 135 42 8
820 'Lots of interruptions but the acoustics are great!' 1.3135 0.03826 185 132 48 5
821 We don't play "Misty". How about a little "Stars and Stripes Forever?" 1.3135 0.04049 185 135 42 8
822 We are the instruments of social distance. 1.3135 0.04049 185 135 42 8
823 Catch us on the YouTuba channel. 1.3132 0.04237 182 135 37 10
824 Have you seen a couple of elephants and a majorette? 1.3129 0.04310 163 119 37 7
825 We practice anti-social distancing. 1.3115 0.04288 183 137 35 11
826 Social distance! 1.3115 0.03766 183 142 33 8
827 You can't horn in on us. 1.3115 0.04218 183 136 37 10
828 It’s elevator music. 1.3115 0.03766 183 135 42 6
829 Bassment? 1.3115 0.04073 183 134 41 8
830 The next one has bucket-drummers in it. Pick your poison, man. 1.3115 0.03998 183 133 43 7
831 Don't worry we play quite softly. 1.3115 0.03998 183 133 43 7
832 Have you seen 76 trombones? 1.3115 0.03923 183 141 32 10
833 What's in the bag, weirdo? 1.3115 0.04426 183 139 31 13
834 I hope that's an oboe in your bag. 1.3115 0.04073 183 134 41 8
835 One step closer and we start playing Sousa! 1.3115 0.03998 183 133 43 7
836 What's the matter? You never heard of elevator music? 1.3115 0.03998 183 133 43 7
837 Sorry but we were told to play a little higher. 1.3115 0.03923 183 132 45 6
838 Do you mind if we rehearse? 1.3115 0.03686 183 129 51 3
839 We have room for one triangle player. 1.3115 0.04218 183 136 37 10
840 Keep your distance, or we'll blow you away. 1.3115 0.03998 183 133 43 7
841 We're happy to go up or down. Just step in and give us your request. 1.3115 0.03998 183 133 43 7
842 Yes, we also choose not to wear masks. 1.3115 0.03433 183 137 41 5
843 you know what ill just take the next one 1.3115 0.02963 183 143 36 4
844 So you’re the one who complained about the Muzak? 1.3094 0.04244 181 135 36 10
845 The concierge suggested we try using less band width. 1.3094 0.04315 181 136 34 11
846 Do you happen to have a tuba toothpaste? 1.3094 0.04315 181 136 34 11
847 He found us... Look busy. 1.3094 0.04315 181 136 34 11
848 Well, up your brass too, fellah! 1.3094 0.04386 181 137 32 12
849 It's cumbersome, but we always get an elevator to ourselves. 1.3094 0.03785 181 129 48 4
850 Hi, can you point us to the apartment directly above yours? 1.3094 0.04171 181 134 38 9
851 Social distancing, nobody will come anywhere near us 1.3094 0.03944 181 131 44 6
852 We're trying to start at the bottom and play our way to the top. 1.3094 0.03703 181 128 50 3
853 The piccolo convention would have been far more manageable. 1.3094 0.03703 181 138 37 6
854 Is the upper brass on this floor? 1.3094 0.04386 181 137 32 12
855 The day management changed the elevator music was the same day Jim thanked his StairMaster. 1.3094 0.03944 181 131 44 6
856 If you get in this car, you have to do the chicken dance. 1.3094 0.04097 181 133 40 8
857 He's right behind me, isn't he! 1.3094 0.04171 181 134 38 9
858 We're famous in Wisconsin! 1.3094 0.04021 181 137 36 8
859 And it's whispered that soon, If we all call the tune Then the piper will lead us to reason 1.3094 0.04097 181 133 40 8
860 You might want to grab the next one, we're still working on our pitch 1.3094 0.03944 181 133 41 7
861 The band goes marching tuba two, hurrah, hurrah. 1.3094 0.04097 181 133 40 8
862 It’s NOT A TUBA! 1.3094 0.04097 181 133 40 8
863 Muzak's on the fritz again. 1.3094 0.04097 181 133 40 8
864 We're trying to find somewhere to shelter in place. 1.3094 0.03944 181 131 44 6
865 We've still got room for a piccolo. 1.3094 0.03865 181 130 46 5
866 There’s room. We can always use another blowhard. 1.3090 0.04216 178 132 37 9
867 It's like Tiny Desk, but with better acoustics. 1.3090 0.04291 178 133 35 10
868 Excuse me . . . have you seen seventy-six trombones anywhere? 1.3090 0.04364 178 134 33 11
869 The little bell to let you know when the elevator has arrived isn't working. 1.3090 0.04063 178 130 41 7
870 Wait am I in your delusion or are you in mine? 1.3090 0.04140 178 131 39 8
871 It's Sousa's birthday. We do requests. 1.3090 0.03821 178 127 47 4
872 Singing telegram from your WeightWatchers group! 1.3090 0.04140 178 131 39 8
873 FYI, the percussion section is in the next car! 1.3090 0.04140 178 131 39 8
874 18th floor "can you direct us to Suite 1812?" 1.3090 0.04364 178 134 33 11
875 Tuba or not tuba? We decided the question. 1.3090 0.03984 178 133 37 8
876 The building has invested in live elevator music to encourage people to use the stairs. 1.3090 0.04364 178 134 33 11
877 Do you know what floor the party is on? 1.3090 0.03821 178 127 47 4
878 The acoustics here are topnotch 1.3090 0.04063 178 130 41 7
879 The seventy-six trombones are on the other elevator 1.3090 0.04291 178 133 35 10
880 Tubas company, three's a crowd. 1.3090 0.04216 178 132 37 9
881 You may want to get on, the next one has 76 guys in it. 1.3090 0.04364 178 134 33 11
882 They're even better than banjos to encourage social distancing. 1.3090 0.04063 178 130 41 7
883 You don't really need to go out of the home, do you? 1.3090 0.04216 178 132 37 9
884 No, it's not a tuba joke. Sousaphones. Sousaphones. 1.3090 0.04140 178 131 39 8
885 You have to toot your own horn if you expect to ascend! 1.3090 0.03984 178 129 43 6
886 We're an essential serivice. 1.3090 0.04291 178 133 35 10
887 Our most effective social distancing method yet! 1.3090 0.04140 178 131 39 8
888 You should see where they put the woodwinds. 1.3090 0.04216 178 132 37 9
889 We’re taking requests, but keep it short. We’re only going down two floors. 1.3090 0.03903 178 128 45 5
890 It has its ups and downs, but the acoustics are great. 1.3090 0.03984 178 129 43 6
891 Is the elevator music too loud? 1.3090 0.04063 178 130 41 7
892 We're going oompah. You? 1.3090 0.04436 178 135 31 12
893 Welcome to the elevator. Would you like Bernstein or Bach? 1.3090 0.03903 178 128 45 5
894 Technically, they're sousaphones, but thanks for asking. 1.3086 0.04025 175 127 42 6
895 Can you take the next one? We’re practicing social distancing. 1.3073 0.03885 179 129 45 5
896 Sorry, we don't take requests. But hop in for a kick-ass cover of Smoke on the Water. 1.3073 0.04196 179 133 37 9
897 Must be the geometric progression talking, because people are keeping a full 36 feet from us. 1.3073 0.04270 179 134 35 10
898 Come in if you don't mind us practicing. 1.3068 0.03392 176 135 38 3
899 Mobile intubation unit. 1.3068 0.04393 176 133 32 11
900 This floor is for top brass only. 1.3068 0.03924 176 130 41 5
901 Oh. Tubad there’s no room. 1.3068 0.04165 176 130 38 8
902 Twobas 1.3068 0.04086 176 129 40 7
903 We're now offering live "elevator music". 1.3068 0.04006 176 128 42 6
904 Nothing new. People have been socially distancing themselves from us for years. 1.3068 0.04086 176 129 40 7
905 We find a little Sousa is always good for a lift." 1.3068 0.04165 176 130 38 8
906 She just tooted. Don't come in. 1.3068 0.04006 176 128 42 6
907 Actually, it's "what's a couple of goddamned 'sousaphones' doing on my goddamned elevator!" 1.3068 0.04466 176 134 30 12
908 No. The accordions are in Elevator 3. 1.3068 0.04086 176 129 40 7
909 This one is going to the bassment. 1.3068 0.04318 176 132 34 10
910 How the heck did you get in there in the first place? 1.3068 0.04242 176 131 36 9
911 They didn't have enough money to pay for elevator music so they hired us instead. 1.3068 0.04318 176 132 34 10
912 Only come in if your horny. 1.3068 0.04006 176 128 42 6
913 The penthouse resident was tired of tooting his own horn. 1.3068 0.04318 176 132 34 10
914 Oh, we don't play, it's a social distancing thing 1.3068 0.04006 176 128 42 6
915 You're wife says you need to march upstairs right this minute. 1.3068 0.04086 176 134 33 9
916 A piccoloist! You lucked out. 1.3068 0.03755 176 134 36 6
917 Try to catch the one with the piccolos 1.3068 0.03924 176 127 44 5
918 We'll see you in the morning for your wake-up call. 1.3068 0.04165 176 130 38 8
919 C'mon fellas, it's rude to pass wind in confined spaces. 1.3068 0.04242 176 131 36 9
920 We're an opening and a closing act. 1.3068 0.04165 176 130 38 8
921 When you see the flutes and piccolos, THEN that'll be the last of us. 1.3068 0.04466 176 134 30 12
922 This elevator is going down, that other elevator hits all the high notes! 1.3046 0.04269 174 130 35 9
923 They were out of ventilators. 1.3046 0.04346 174 131 33 10
924 Going down an octave? 1.3046 0.04190 174 129 37 8
925 Come on in, but we're requests only. 1.3046 0.04269 174 130 35 9
926 We're going up to the roof to play some high notes for a change. 1.3046 0.04190 174 129 37 8
927 We call it "The Descent into Hell". 1.3046 0.04029 174 127 41 6
928 Let's all go to the lobby! 1.3046 0.04422 174 132 31 11
929 No tuba, no service. 1.3046 0.04110 174 128 39 7
930 If you weren't carrying that bag, we might have room for you. 1.3046 0.04110 174 128 39 7
931 Going umpa? 1.3046 0.04346 174 131 33 10
932 We have been told to sousaphone-in-place. 1.3046 0.04642 174 135 25 14
933 A post on Facebook indicated that low tones kills the virus. 1.3046 0.03860 174 127 42 5
934 We like to think of it as social distancing insurance. 1.3046 0.04070 174 130 36 8
935 There's room for a flutist. 1.3046 0.04190 174 129 37 8
936 Is there any chance you play the piccolo? 1.3046 0.04269 174 130 35 9
937 No, they're flotation devices you can use as a commode. 1.3046 0.04110 174 130 36 8
938 This should work for social distancing, son! 1.3046 0.04269 174 130 35 9
939 You choose. How about 'A Long and Winding Road'? 1.3046 0.03593 174 135 34 5
940 If this noise doesn't keep people at least 6 feet away from us, nothing will! 1.3046 0.04029 174 127 41 6
941 We'll be playing the Theme from Shaft. It's his idea of a joke. 1.3046 0.04110 174 128 39 7
942 Sorry, HR gave us our marching orders. 1.3046 0.04570 174 134 27 13
943 Providing elevator music was the only job we could get during Covid-19 1.3046 0.04346 174 131 33 10
944 You guys asked for elevator music. 1.3046 0.03945 174 126 43 5
945 Do you know what floor the 76 trombones are on? 1.3046 0.03945 174 130 37 7
946 Don't worry, we take requests. 1.3046 0.04110 174 128 39 7
947 c'mon in... live elevator music is a new gig for us, but I think we've really nailed "Flight of the Bumblebee"! 1.3046 0.04190 174 129 37 8
948 Elevator's full, tu'bad 1.3046 0.03773 174 124 47 3
949 They're not tubas, they're life jackets. 1.3046 0.04110 174 128 39 7
950 They were all out of face masks 1.3046 0.04029 174 127 41 6
951 Wanna horn in? 1.3046 0.04029 174 127 41 6
952 No one suspects the tuba player of corporate espionage. 1.3046 0.03945 174 126 43 5
953 Oh good, the harmonica section’s here. 1.3046 0.04110 174 128 39 7
954 Have you seen my hat? 1.3046 0.04029 174 130 37 7
955 We're filling in while the elevator music strike is on. 1.3046 0.03945 174 130 37 7
956 We lost the key.” 1.3046 0.03304 174 135 34 5
957 You'll want the Piccolo elevator, we only go down from here. 1.3046 0.04346 174 131 33 10
958 We play a mean rendition of 'Girl from Ipanema.' 1.3046 0.04269 174 130 35 9
959 We got tired of people getting in before we exited. 1.3046 0.04190 174 129 37 8
960 It's like elevator music, only with a little more oomph, pah, pah. 1.3029 0.04090 175 129 39 7
961 Everybody except Tuba Players in elevators must stand six feet apart. 1.3023 0.03101 172 127 44 1
962 Well, Jim, the sousaphone club is really the only thing that keeps me going ever since you started fucking my wife. 1.3023 0.04602 172 133 26 13
963 It’s the latest in social distancing. We wanted bagpipes, but they were sold out. 1.3023 0.03791 172 125 43 4
964 Sure, you can wait for the other elevator, but it features bassoons. 1.3023 0.04296 172 129 34 9
965 Yes exactly two. That is how many Tuba conventioneers you can fit into an elevator. 1.3023 0.04216 172 128 36 8
966 You wouldn’t believe the acoustics in here. 1.3023 0.04052 172 126 40 6
967 You'd better take this one. The next car is full of banjos and accordions. 1.3023 0.04216 172 128 36 8
968 There's only space for our two fat brasses. 1.3023 0.04052 172 126 40 6
969 We are the Olaf twins, hired to ensure no one will come within 6ft 1.3023 0.04296 172 129 34 9
970 SOCIAL DISTANCING One step closer and we'll begin to play. 1.3023 0.04374 172 130 32 10
971 Dermatology is on floor 5, but we are here to welcome you on behalf of the ENT department. 1.3023 0.03967 172 125 42 5
972 No, the trumpet elevator goes up; this one goes down. 1.3023 0.03967 172 125 42 5
973 Stop complaining! This could have been the trombone section. 1.3023 0.03880 172 124 44 4
974 Which part of this message is not reaching you: Stay home Self isolate Wash your hands Don’t touch your face 1.3023 0.04374 172 130 32 10
975 I just KNOW we can go lower than B. 1.3023 0.03791 172 123 46 3
976 Mr. Snyder, I believe you donated $20 on GoFundMe to the Homeless Tuba Combo. 1.3023 0.04052 172 126 40 6
977 By the 25th floor, you won't want to get off! 1.3023 0.04451 172 131 30 11
978 Sorry, Muzak is out. We're the temporary replacement. 1.3023 0.04216 172 128 36 8
979 We’re not going up, we’re going to the bass-ment 1.3023 0.04052 172 128 37 7
980 They say elevator music is making a comeback. 1.3023 0.03967 172 125 42 5
981 Since we play bass clef, pretty much all we do is go down. 1.3023 0.04052 172 126 40 6
982 How did you fit yours in your bag? 1.3023 0.04216 172 128 36 8
983 Oh sorry bud, no instruments, no entrance. 1.3023 0.03967 172 130 35 7
984 We think you might be more comfortable with the flautists in the other one. 1.3023 0.04052 172 131 33 8
985 The Philharmonic sent them...social distancing ventilators! 1.3023 0.04216 172 128 36 8
986 This is the express . . . we're trying to beat the band. 1.3000 0.04242 170 127 35 8
987 Going down? I don't know, can you hum a few bars . . . 1.3000 0.04403 170 129 31 10
988 Actually, we wanted the bassment. 1.3000 0.04242 170 127 35 8
989 What floor is the Geico advertising department? 1.3000 0.04558 170 131 27 12
990 You're right George; the boss has zero sense of humor 1.3000 0.03988 170 124 41 5
991 I once opened for KISS. Now look at me... 2nd chair Tuba player in an elevator. 1.3000 0.04242 170 127 35 8
992 We are rehearsing while self- isolating. 1.2994 0.04030 167 122 40 5
993 Oh look Wendy! It’s the guy who goes on and on about the symphony’s “lifeless brass section”. 1.2994 0.04455 167 127 30 10
994 We tested negative but were quarantined anyway. 1.2988 0.04592 164 126 27 11
995 Sorry pal, essential workers only 1.2976 0.04010 168 123 40 5
996 How do we like being elevator music? It has its ups and downs 1.2976 0.03828 168 121 44 3
997 Don't judge. They help encourage social distancing. 1.2976 0.03920 168 122 42 4
998 I know, but she couldn't get anyone to deliver balloons. 1.2976 0.04184 168 125 36 7
999 Unless you're willing to hear the double version of "Go Tell It On The Mountain," you may want to skip this elevator. 1.2976 0.04098 168 129 32 7
1000 Going up will be a big blast ! 1.2976 0.04269 168 126 34 8
1001 Sorry. No roompah. 1.2976 0.04432 168 128 30 10
1002 Sure there's room, but not with that big 'man purse'. 1.2976 0.04432 168 128 30 10
1003 This is a standing-room-only performance. 1.2976 0.04269 168 126 34 8
1004 My dear man, have you by chance come across an orchestra with adequate mid-range and highs but a rather feeble low end? 1.2976 0.04351 168 127 32 9
1005 What are you waiting for? You got something against elevator music? 1.2976 0.04098 168 124 38 6
1006 Shelter in place!? Fine, but we're still having this parade! 1.2976 0.04010 168 123 40 5
1007 What's better than one sousaphone in the stairwell? 1.2970 0.04648 165 128 25 12
1008 Care to accompany us? 1.2970 0.03961 165 120 41 4
1009 What is it Tuba-much for you? 1.2970 0.04486 165 126 29 10
1010 It definitely keeps people six feet away. 1.2970 0.03961 165 120 41 4
1011 Your elevator music will be the theme from "Jaws." 1.2970 0.04053 165 121 39 5
1012 They sound so much cooler when they echo. 1.2970 0.04403 165 125 31 9
1013 You'll have to take the other elevator. This is our work from home studio. 1.2970 0.04231 165 123 35 7
1014 Muzak is on the fritz. 1.2970 0.04403 165 125 31 9
1015 Live elevator music is how we got the fifth star. 1.2970 0.04567 165 127 27 11
1016 It was most important for the tuba thieves that they remain inconspicuous. 1.2952 0.04210 166 124 35 7
1017 Did you here about the tuba player who didn’t make the marching band? He committed sousa-cide! 1.2952 0.04210 166 124 35 7
1018 We're very sorry, but its the only place they'd let us practice. 1.2952 0.03941 166 121 41 4
1019 Management wanted some new elevator music 1.2952 0.04122 166 123 37 6
1020 What do we charge for NOT rehearsing? To quote Chico Marx, you couldn't afford it. 1.2945 0.04346 163 123 32 8
1021 Is this level forte? 1.2945 0.04168 163 121 36 6
1022 That's him, that's the essential worker! 1.2945 0.04168 163 123 33 7
1023 We'd exit, but we're banned from every floor. 1.2945 0.04346 163 123 32 8
1024 The next one should have 2 trumpets. 1.2945 0.03363 163 127 33 3
1025 The rest of the marching band took the stairs. 1.2945 0.04258 163 122 34 7
1026 The subway cello players kicked us out. 1.2945 0.03885 163 118 42 3
1027 The oboists took the stairwell. Go figure." 1.2945 0.04076 163 120 38 5
1028 The record shows I took the blows and did it my way. 1.2945 0.04168 163 121 36 6
1029 Technically, they're "Sousaphones", and you won't hardly even know we're in here. 1.2945 0.03685 163 116 46 1
1030 The acoustics are amazing! 1.2945 0.04258 163 122 34 7
1031 Don't judge. HR told us to use this time to develop new skills. 1.2945 0.04346 163 123 32 8
1032 He’s Oomp. I’m his Pah. 1.2945 0.04432 163 124 30 9
1033 Yes sir, until 10:00 PM. Room Service also delivers string sections. 1.2945 0.04346 163 123 32 8
1034 Whaddaya mean, they sent the wrong order? The regular guys were sick, and the deli said you wanted two tuba subs. 1.2945 0.04517 163 125 28 10
1035 We're taking the elevator music to the next level. 1.2945 0.04346 163 123 32 8
1036 We’re going down to low B-flat 1.2945 0.04517 163 125 28 10
1037 Welcome aboard. We have the best elevator music in town! 1.2945 0.04168 163 121 36 6
1038 Would you like some elevator music? 1.2945 0.03885 163 118 42 3
1039 Any chance you could point us to the ark? 1.2945 0.04681 163 127 24 12
1040 We blew the door off. 1.2937 0.04121 160 118 37 5
1041 I'll wait for the woodwinds 1.2927 0.04323 164 124 32 8
1042 Are you the guy who said the elevator music was too boring? 1.2927 0.03961 164 120 40 4
1043 Sorry, only room for a piccolo player 1.2927 0.04408 164 125 30 9
1044 We have decided to introduce the good folk of this building to live elevator music. 1.2927 0.04055 164 121 38 5
1045 Come on in! Live elevator music on every ride. 1.2927 0.04235 164 123 34 7
1046 March on in. 1.2919 0.04099 161 122 34 5
1047 Muzak is down. 1.2919 0.04099 161 119 37 5
1048 Why the worried look - there are 76 cornets right behind. 1.2919 0.04003 161 118 39 4
1049 Wait for the flute section if you want to go to the top floors. 1.2919 0.04099 161 119 37 5
1050 One tuba player says to the other tuba player, ''that was a low blow'!' The other player says, 'Thanks!' 1.2919 0.04374 161 122 31 8
1051 Sorry, there’s no room-pah-pah. 1.2919 0.04284 161 121 33 7
1052 They’re having a BOGO in the Sousaphone department. 1.2919 0.04632 161 125 25 11
1053 Elevator music, am I right? 1.2919 0.03855 161 126 28 7
1054 Better take the stairs. Sousaphone convention is in town. 1.2919 0.04193 161 120 35 6
1055 No, we each ordered a tube a glue. 1.2919 0.03701 161 123 34 4
1056 At least they're not banjos. 1.2919 0.04193 161 120 35 6
1057 Haven't you ever seen live Muzak. 1.2919 0.03371 161 119 41 1
1058 Come on in. You're the next guest on 'Two Tubas in an Elevator' podcast. 1.2919 0.03905 161 117 41 3
1059 We like a Sousa tune. How about you? 1.2919 0.04003 161 118 39 4
1060 'I'm sorry we're late for the audition, but my son couldn't find his sousaphone.' 1.2919 0.04099 161 119 37 5
1061 You didn't see a guy with a big hat and a baton on this floor, did you? 1.2919 0.04193 161 120 35 6
1062 The next car is filled with deck chairs. 1.2919 0.04284 161 121 33 7
1063 Is this the floor for the team building exercise? 1.2919 0.04099 161 119 37 5
1064 You pay good money to live here. The least we can do is step up the elevator music. 1.2919 0.04462 161 123 29 9
1065 yeah-the pied piper guy works for small infestations, but for the larger rodents you need two tubas team. 1.2919 0.04284 161 121 33 7
1066 Our unit doesn’t have a balcony. 1.2919 0.04374 161 122 31 8
1067 Sorry, there is only room for a flutist. 1.2919 0.03804 161 118 40 3
1068 Take the next one, it's just the oboe section. 1.2919 0.03905 161 117 41 3
1069 Sorry we're at sax capacity. 1.2919 0.04193 161 120 35 6
1070 Tuba, or not tuba, that is the question, Todd. 1.2919 0.04374 161 122 31 8
1071 You'll never think of 'elevator music' the same way again. 1.2919 0.04099 161 119 37 5
1072 Well, if you hum a few bars, we can try. 1.2919 0.03905 161 117 41 3
1073 We’re taking social distancing to the next level 1.2919 0.04003 161 123 32 6
1074 We never go up. 1.2919 0.04284 161 121 33 7
1075 We're doing the theme from Jaws all over town to help warn the public of the impending doom. 1.2919 0.04193 161 120 35 6
1076 Stay six feet back or this thing's gonna blow. 1.2919 0.04374 161 122 31 8
1077 Sorry, your bag is too big. 1.2919 0.04284 161 121 33 7
1078 Welcome to 30 seconds of serenity. 1.2919 0.04193 161 120 35 6
1079 It’s safe. Sousaphone players naturally social distance. 1.2919 0.04374 161 122 31 8
1080 Since the philharmonic closed, we're moonlighting as social distancing regulators. 1.2919 0.04099 161 119 37 5
1081 Um Pah Um Pah to you, Um Pah Um Pah to you, Um Pah Um Pah dear Randy Um Pah Um Pah to you. 1.2919 0.04284 161 121 33 7
1082 Turns out 'Two Tubas' was a typo... 1.2919 0.04099 161 119 37 5
1083 Sorry going up to E flat 1.2919 0.04099 161 119 37 5
1084 Sorry, we thought this was the contrabassment. 1.2919 0.03905 161 125 30 6
1085 Excellent acoustics. 1.2919 0.04003 161 118 39 4
1086 We're looking for a large number of trombones. Seventy-six, if you must know. 1.2919 0.04374 161 122 31 8
1087 The next one should have more room - it’s just trumpets. 1.2919 0.04193 161 120 35 6
1088 I think you should take the stairs, there are 76 trombones yet to come 1.2919 0.04099 161 119 37 5
1089 Congratulations! You’re the 1,000,000th person to take this elevator! 1.2919 0.04374 161 122 31 8
1090 Have you tried taking the stairs with a tuba? 1.2919 0.03804 161 116 43 2
1091 We're experimenting with LIVE elevator music. 1.2919 0.03804 161 116 43 2
1092 Going sharp or flat? 1.2919 0.03804 161 125 30 6
1093 And welcome, sir, to Oompah Suites. Be sure to try our incomparable wake-up service. 1.2919 0.04284 161 121 33 7
1094 They ran out of face masks. 1.2919 0.04099 161 119 37 5
1095 Sorry, there's no room, but the acoustics are amazing in here! 1.2919 0.04003 161 118 39 4
1096 You may want to wait for the flutes 1.2919 0.04193 161 122 32 7
1097 I hope you play the Flute.” 1.2919 0.03804 161 127 29 5
1098 Hop on; Life's a toot 1.2919 0.04099 161 119 37 5
1099 Elevator Music by John Philip Sousa 1.2919 0.04462 161 123 29 9
1100 Seventy six trombones? Fifth floor. 1.2919 0.04374 161 122 31 8
1101 We're here for the Octubafest. 1.2919 0.04548 161 124 27 10
1102 Nobody's getting discovered today, Earl. This flash mob business is rubbish. 1.2919 0.04284 161 121 33 7
1103 We were hired to replace that ridiculous elevator music. 1.2919 0.04193 161 120 35 6
1104 Looks like someone forgot it was Tuba Tuesday. 1.2919 0.04003 161 118 39 4
1105 We've been keeping people six feet away since the Carter Administration! 1.2919 0.04284 161 121 33 7
1106 We're going to the bassment. 1.2919 0.04284 161 121 33 7
1107 Hey, have you seen about 76 trombones get off this elevator recently? 1.2919 0.04193 161 120 35 6
1108 We're testing out a new feature: elevator music with surround sound. 1.2919 0.03485 161 123 35 3
1109 You might want to get the next one. We practice in here. 1.2919 0.04003 161 118 39 4
1110 Don't suppose you've seen a marching band around here somewhere. 1.2919 0.03905 161 117 41 3
1111 If you'd prefer something more soothing, Burt Bacharach is in the other elevator. 1.2919 0.03804 161 116 43 2
1112 We just came in to touch bass. 1.2919 0.04462 161 123 29 9
1113 Going Ump Pa Pa Ump PaPa? 1.2919 0.04374 161 122 31 8
1114 Well, the seating isn’t ideal, but you won’t believe the acoustics! 1.2919 0.04374 161 122 31 8
1115 It might be a while, the conductor just let everyone know we'll be working from home. 1.2919 0.04193 161 120 35 6
1116 Elevator music used to be so boring 1.2919 0.03905 161 119 38 4
1117 The middle elevator is mariachi, if you don't mind a crowd. 1.2919 0.04284 161 121 33 7
1118 They told us to play something uplifting. 1.2919 0.04193 161 120 35 6
1119 Hey 6ft buddy. I swear one step closer and I will blow it. 1.2919 0.04462 161 123 29 9
1120 We are having treble finding our floor. 1.2919 0.04003 161 118 39 4
1121 This pandemic blows. 1.2919 0.04099 161 119 37 5
1122 Sorry - we thought that the company brass were meeting up here. 1.2919 0.04374 161 122 31 8
1123 Have you heard the word of our Lord in B-major? 1.2919 0.04374 161 122 31 8
1124 It's a new policy. For some reason the Co-Op Board seems to think that tuba-distancing will be more effective than social distancing. 1.2919 0.04193 161 120 35 6
1125 Our tooting keeps everyone at least 6 feet away! 1.2919 0.03905 161 119 38 4
1126 We go as high as our pitch allows. 1.2919 0.04462 161 123 29 9
1127 Bill, how can we be an elevator tuba trio if you keep forgetting your instrument? 1.2919 0.04284 161 121 33 7
1128 Actually, "social distance" has never been an issue for tuba players. 1.2917 0.04609 144 109 28 7
1129 We're headed up to see the top brass. 1.2893 0.04025 159 117 38 4
1130 Just until Muzak comes back up. Any requests? 1.2893 0.04492 159 122 28 9
1131 I would use the stairs, the piano is coming. 1.2893 0.04403 159 121 30 8
1132 The acoustics are really great. 1.2893 0.04311 159 120 32 7
1133 God I hate elevator music! 1.2893 0.04403 159 123 27 9
1134 Is this the floor for the Narcolepsy Symposium? 1.2893 0.04403 159 121 30 8
1135 Promise! We won't play a note while you are in. 1.2893 0.04122 159 118 36 5
1136 You've been served 1.2893 0.03716 159 114 44 1
1137 This is live elevator music 1.2893 0.04025 159 117 38 4
1138 Sorry, no room unless you just play the piccolo. 1.2893 0.04218 159 119 34 6
1139 I understand the big rolls of toilet paper, but why are you hoarding swimming rings? 1.2893 0.04311 159 120 32 7
1140 They told us there’s not going to be a college football season this year. 1.2893 0.04311 159 120 32 7
1141 If you’re trying to get to Carnegie Hall, it’s this way. 1.2893 0.04122 159 122 30 7
1142 Sorry, pal — this elevator is for brass only. 1.2893 0.04218 159 119 34 6
1143 We've been sheltering in place! Use the stairs. 1.2886 0.04395 149 112 31 6
1144 That's John behind me. I'm Philip. Are you Sousa? 1.2886 0.04596 149 114 27 8
1145 We’re the new elevator music. 1.2885 0.04267 156 117 33 6
1146 Elevator music, another good idea, in theory 1.2875 0.04195 160 120 34 6
1147 Muzak's broken. 1.2866 0.04046 157 116 37 4
1148 We figured it was the most effective way to keep social distance. 1.2866 0.03839 157 121 31 5
1149 You may want to wait for the piccolo section. 1.2866 0.04243 157 118 33 6
1150 It's the Corona Duet! 1.2866 0.04612 157 122 25 10
1151 Did you happen to see seventy six trombones on this floor? 1.2866 0.04432 157 120 29 8
1152 And they double as social distancing suits. 1.2866 0.04046 157 116 37 4
1153 Don't worry; they have filters. 1.2866 0.04046 157 118 34 5
1154 Woodwinds? Next car. 1.2866 0.04046 157 116 37 4
1155 Six feet away or we'll blow our tops! 1.2866 0.04243 157 118 33 6
1156 Have you forgotten your Tuba? 1.2866 0.04146 157 117 35 5
1157 Do you have any idea what "shelter in place" all day means in a small apartment with two tuba players? 1.2866 0.03839 157 114 41 2
1158 This is to inform you we have cleaned the elevator with wipes. 1.2866 0.04339 157 119 31 7
1159 Keep your distance! 1.2866 0.04146 157 117 35 5
1160 We are willing to do what it takes to have 6 feet of social distancing! 1.2866 0.03620 157 120 34 3
1161 This elevator’s only for the BIG BRASS, buddy. 1.2866 0.04146 157 117 35 5
1162 Get the next one we are rehearsing. 1.2866 0.03944 157 117 36 4
1163 The acoustics are better in here 1.2866 0.04046 157 116 37 4
1164 My wife and I have social distancing horns and we're not afraid to use them! 1.2866 0.04046 157 116 37 4
1165 Which floor is tuba removal? 1.2866 0.04432 157 120 29 8
1166 We don't play.They just keep us at a social distance. 1.2866 0.04243 157 120 30 7
1167 We forgot the key. 1.2866 0.04523 157 121 27 9
1168 I thought there was only ONE politician that has to Blow his own horn all the time... 1.2866 0.04243 157 118 33 6
1169 That wasn't a fart, it's safe to come in. 1.2866 0.04243 157 118 33 6
1170 We’re going upstairs to pitch “YouTuba” to investors. Wanna come, too? 1.2866 0.04146 157 117 35 5
1171 Sorry. We can’t go up. 1.2866 0.04243 157 118 33 6
1172 Sorry buddy — auditions are closed. 1.2866 0.04243 157 118 33 6
1173 If anyone should ask...the answer is twenty flutists, or eleven violinists, or two tuba players. 1.2866 0.04243 157 118 33 6
1174 S'matter, Mac, never seen two Sousaphones in a elevator before? 1.2866 0.04046 157 116 37 4
1175 I can see you're not part of the convention. 1.2866 0.04146 157 117 35 5
1176 Whew. What a relief. We were worried about fitting a third tuba in here. 1.2866 0.03839 157 114 41 2
1177 Just when I thought elevator rides couldn't get more awkward. 1.2866 0.03620 157 122 31 4
1178 They sure are taking elevator music to a whole new level! 1.2866 0.04046 157 118 34 5
1179 I'd advise you to stay 6 feet back. 1.2866 0.04243 157 118 33 6
1180 You might want to let it air out for a minute. 1.2866 0.04243 157 118 33 6
1181 Just doing our part for social distancing. 1.2866 0.04146 157 117 35 5
1182 Bagpipes? That's the other elevator. 1.2866 0.04046 157 116 37 4
1183 We're trying a new take on elevator music. 1.2866 0.03944 157 115 39 3
1184 We're providing positive air pressure. 1.2866 0.04339 157 119 31 7
1185 This meets building code until the automated bell is fixed 1.2866 0.04146 157 119 32 6
1186 Step into euphonium 1.2866 0.04612 157 122 25 10
1187 Press up, would you? The Doppler effect is awesome at the end. 1.2866 0.04339 157 119 31 7
1188 Sure, make fun but this is the safest place in America! 1.2866 0.04243 157 118 33 6
1189 Will you be wanting Oompah or smooth jazz? 1.2866 0.04046 157 116 37 4
1190 The roof top concert starts at 7pm. Balcony seats only! 1.2866 0.03620 157 121 32 4
1191 May I horn in? 1.2866 0.04146 157 117 35 5
1192 ‘..or press L for easy listening.’ 1.2866 0.03731 157 113 43 1
1193 Sorry, we're holding it for the drum corps. 1.2866 0.04146 157 117 35 5
1194 We've got room if you've got ear plugs. 1.2866 0.04046 157 116 37 4
1195 Muzak is out of order. 1.2866 0.04339 157 119 31 7
1196 There's 74 more waiting downstairs. 1.2866 0.04046 157 119 33 5
1197 Tuba be or not tuba be 1.2866 0.04786 157 124 21 12
1198 Sorry... This elevator is reserved for just us “Top Brass” 1.2866 0.04339 157 119 31 7
1199 The drummers are Zooming in from home. 1.2866 0.04243 157 118 33 6
1200 Oh, we’re not going up; this is our rehearsal space. 1.2866 0.04243 157 118 33 6
1201 No worries, the acoustics are better when the doors close. 1.2866 0.04243 157 118 33 6
1202 It’s an intimate audience but the acoustics are amazing. 1.2866 0.04243 157 118 33 6
1203 We're delivering two more ventilators from the President! 1.2866 0.04523 157 121 27 9
1204 Come on, Ed. We’re fortunate enough to be able to work from home. 1.2866 0.04432 157 120 29 8
1205 Take a picture it’ll last longer. 1.2866 0.04243 157 118 33 6
1206 We're looking for the Sousa's apartment. 1.2866 0.03731 157 113 43 1
1207 Basically, the sousaphone is a tuba. The difference is that the instrument will fit around your body. One might wonder why it is called the sousaphone when it is basically a tuba. The instrument is named after..." "I will wait for the next one." 1.2866 0.04339 157 119 31 7
1208 Oh no! We’re in treble. 1.2866 0.04243 157 118 33 6
1209 We've had great success where drugs haven't worked. 1.2866 0.04046 157 116 37 4
1210 This hotel hired us for wake up calls. 1.2866 0.04046 157 116 37 4
1211 For twenty bucks, we won’t play ‘Flight of the Bumblebee’ on your way up 1.2866 0.04339 157 119 31 7
1212 We’re here to resolve your complaint about the current elevator music. 1.2866 0.03731 157 113 43 1
1213 Tubas are on the ground floor. You will find piccolos higher up. 1.2866 0.04339 157 119 31 7
1214 Ever hear “Dueling Banjos” played on two Sousaphones in an elevator? Well... neither have we. 1.2866 0.04432 157 120 29 8
1215 Have you seen anyone with a French horn? 1.2866 0.04243 157 118 33 6
1216 We're here for the W.H.O ventilator tryouts. 1.2866 0.04612 157 122 25 10
1217 You social distance your way and we’ll do it ours! 1.2866 0.04046 157 116 37 4
1218 We're here to entertain the folks in the intensive care unit. 1.2857 0.04293 154 116 32 6
1219 You can catch us on YourTube 1.2857 0.04391 154 117 30 7
1220 Floor, please? And a one and a two. . . 1.2857 0.04293 154 116 32 6
1221 It was the only way we could maintain 6 feet of space in this city. 1.2857 0.04487 154 118 28 8
1222 We received complaints about the drab elevator music. 1.2857 0.04391 154 117 30 7
1223 This elevator is reserved for the top brass. 1.2857 0.04439 154 120 25 9
1224 Plenty of room for another elevator music aficionado. 1.2857 0.03878 154 117 33 4
1225 Suzy phoned, is she still in? 1.2857 0.04193 154 115 34 5
1226 They said to keep at least a tuba-length away from each other. 1.2857 0.04193 154 115 34 5
1227 Don’t tell me— You knew this day would come. 1.2857 0.04487 154 118 28 8
1228 Yes Sir, this is an upgrade exculsive to The Trump Hotel. 1.2857 0.04293 154 116 32 6
1229 Next we'd like to play the Bert Kaempfert version of "A Theme From a Summer Place". 1.2857 0.04193 154 115 34 5
1230 Sorry -- our masks are at the cleaners. 1.2857 0.04193 154 115 34 5
1231 You'll have a blast! 1.2857 0.04293 154 116 32 6
1232 Im sorry sir,you may experience some Tubalence while using this elevator. 1.2857 0.04293 154 116 32 6
1233 Welcome to elevator #3. We’re tonight’s entertainment! 1.2857 0.03652 154 110 44 0
1234 Its the new busking; we stop when you tip 1.2857 0.04487 154 118 28 8
1235 Up on the Roof" is the name of the song? 1.2857 0.03878 154 120 29 5
1236 If they had to lay me off, an email would have sufficed. 1.2848 0.04734 151 118 23 10
1237 Yes, that's right, son. So now you know. Please don't tell your mother. It would just kill her. 1.2839 0.04554 155 120 26 9
1238 'We left the women in the cartoon upstairs.' 1.2839 0.04366 155 118 30 7
1239 Sorry, I don't think we have the bandwidth to let you in 1.2829 0.04218 152 114 33 5
1240 I’ll wait for the next one, I want Kenny G. 1.2829 0.04613 152 118 25 9
1241 No, we’re going to 14. Some prick from woodwinds hit ever floor button. 1.2829 0.04517 152 117 27 8
1242 Did you order a couple of lifebuoys and a giant pair of binoculars? 1.2829 0.04888 152 121 19 12
1243 #MeTuba prophylactic gear for when you need a little extra space. 1.2829 0.04420 152 116 29 7
1244 What do you think of the live elevator music upgrade ? 1.2829 0.04517 152 117 27 8
1245 Step in, bub. Just be aware that me an’ my brother Arvin will be practicing on these beauties up through the 81st floor. 1.2829 0.04517 152 117 27 8
1246 To enforce physical distancing, the city has mandated protective marching tubas in elevators. 1.2829 0.04613 152 118 25 9
1247 ...and by the way, asshole, it’s a sousaphone, not a tuba. 1.2829 0.04420 152 116 29 7
1248 We’re headed to the top floor. It’s reserved for the big brass. 1.2829 0.04320 152 115 31 6
1249 Could you direct us to the apartment of the guy who placed an online order for a twin tuba-charger? 1.2829 0.04613 152 118 25 9
1250 Sorry, this elevator's only for the top brass. 1.2829 0.04706 152 119 23 10
1251 We're here to change your perception about elevator music... 1.2829 0.04218 152 114 33 5
1252 You can’t bring that satchel on here. 1.2829 0.04420 152 116 29 7
1253 The Latin plural is "tube." 1.2829 0.04420 152 116 29 7
1254 May we suggest a ninth floor favorite, Strike Up The Band? 1.2829 0.04420 152 116 29 7
1255 Well, what you were you expecting? 76 trombones! 1.2829 0.04320 152 115 31 6
1256 Stop, don’t come in, we’re quarantined! 1.2810 0.04091 153 116 32 5
1257 Sorry, your man purse, it's - annoying. 1.2800 0.04449 150 115 28 7
1258 Tubas have been repelling the opposite sex from us for long enough, figured we'd use it for social distancing too. 1.2800 0.04243 150 113 32 5
1259 Any chance you play piccolo? 1.2800 0.03678 150 112 36 2
1260 It's been out of service for hours but the acoustics are very good. 1.2800 0.04549 150 116 26 8
1261 These are sousaphones, man. We can't go up! 1.2800 0.04347 150 114 30 6
1262 I'd take the next one unless you want your ears ringing for three weeks. 1.2800 0.04449 150 115 28 7
1263 Going up, but this car does enforce social distancing. 1.2800 0.04449 150 115 28 7
1264 We're not really excited about it either. 1.2800 0.03678 150 112 36 2
1265 Don't worry, we live together. 1.2800 0.04347 150 114 30 6
1266 Don’t you look foolish without your Sousaphone? 1.2800 0.04347 150 114 30 6
1267 Wrong floor. Tuba competition is on the next floor. 1.2800 0.03798 150 115 31 4
1268 Ready, Aim, ! 1.2800 0.04549 150 116 26 8
1269 Do join us. You'll have a blast. 1.2800 0.04549 150 116 26 8
1270 Muzak is down so we're taking requests. 1.2800 0.04347 150 114 30 6
1271 Don't make me use this thing! Stay six feet back! 1.2800 0.04449 150 115 28 7
1272 Sorry, we only play on even floors 1.2800 0.04549 150 116 26 8
1273 Elevator music man, it's what we do" 1.2800 0.04449 150 115 28 7
1274 Did you order two tubas to go? 1.2800 0.04449 150 115 28 7
1275 We're taking elevator music to new heights. 1.2800 0.04549 150 116 26 8
1276 Give us $20 and we won't play our tubas while you ride the elevator! 1.2800 0.04549 150 116 26 8
1277 Sorry, this one only goes to the bassment. 1.2800 0.04449 150 115 28 7
1278 Heading to the Bass ment 1.2800 0.04347 150 114 30 6
1279 TUBAd the elevator's full. 1.2800 0.04347 150 114 30 6
1280 Best not come in just now...we're about to play a duet. 1.2800 0.04136 150 112 34 4
1281 We take elevator music to a whole new level 1.2800 0.04646 150 117 24 9
1282 Sure! We know "Don't Stand So Close to Me." 1.2800 0.04549 150 116 26 8
1283 We want to change your mind about elevator music. 1.2800 0.04027 150 111 36 3
1284 You might want to give it twelve feet. 1.2800 0.04243 150 113 32 5
1285 We’re Muzak’s worst nightmare. 1.2800 0.04347 150 114 30 6
1286 Who do you want to block out hearing? We are here to help 1.2800 0.04449 150 115 28 7
1287 Actually there are three of us. 1.2789 0.04401 147 112 29 6
1288 I ordered only one. 1.2789 0.04401 147 112 29 6
1289 In nice hotels, the elevator music is live and takes requests. 1.2789 0.04128 147 112 30 5
1290 We miss the trio. Without you, we're just the two-bas. 1.2789 0.04401 147 112 29 6
1291 Welcome to the eighth circle of Hell, where there is nowhere to hide your farts and this god-awful elevator music never stops playing. 1.2789 0.04184 147 110 33 4
1292 These are the most advanced toilets ever made. 1.2789 0.04608 147 114 25 8
1293 Our crescendo still only got us to the second floor. 1.2789 0.04401 147 112 29 6
1294 We're here to fix your toilet seats. 1.2789 0.04708 147 115 23 9
1295 No sir ,nobody farted, Lawrence had a sticky key. 1.2789 0.04505 147 113 27 7
1296 From our cold, dead hands. 1.2789 0.04806 147 116 21 10
1297 This elevator is going straight down to Hell. We’re the band. 1.2789 0.04608 147 114 25 8
1298 Do you blow or fiddle with your instrument ? 1.2789 0.04401 147 112 29 6
1299 It's a Life Preserver. It's a Tuba. All in one! 1.2789 0.04401 147 114 26 7
1300 But we thought you said you needed test tubas!! 1.2781 0.04423 151 116 28 7
1301 We're the pied tuba players, we're here to get rid of the rats on your floor." 1.2781 0.04113 151 122 21 8
1302 It’s like Muzak, only louder. 1.2781 0.04004 151 112 36 3
1303 I hear you buddy. The trombones kicked us out of the last elevator too. 1.2770 0.04269 148 112 31 5
1304 Management heard your complaints about the elevator music. 1.2770 0.04160 148 111 33 4
1305 It'll be a while -- there's a 100 piece marching band coming down behind us. 1.2770 0.04580 148 115 25 8
1306 Care for some elevator music? 1.2770 0.04269 148 112 31 5
1307 Be careful. This hospital ran out of PPE but they're trying to keep everyone entertained. 1.2770 0.04048 148 110 35 3
1308 There’s room for a piccolo in the back. 1.2770 0.03814 148 108 39 1
1309 We're the elevator music. 1.2770 0.04375 148 113 29 6
1310 We're better than elevator music. We take requests. 1.2770 0.04269 148 112 31 5
1311 Going up? Tu-bad. 1.2770 0.04160 148 111 33 4
1312 Her singles ad said "Seeking YouTube" stars, not "You Tuba" stars. Some Miss Fancy Pants you have living here! 1.2770 0.04160 148 111 33 4
1313 The Muzak system is down. Hop on. 1.2770 0.04269 148 112 31 5
1314 Wait, I thought our entrance wasn’t until the next floor! 1.2770 0.04375 148 113 29 6
1315 Any requests for your elevator music? 1.2770 0.04375 148 113 29 6
1316 That’s totally TUBAular bro! 1.2770 0.04048 148 112 32 4
1317 What would you like to hear? 1.2770 0.04048 148 110 35 3
1318 Be warned! We don't put up with farters. 1.2770 0.04048 148 118 23 7
1319 The funeral was amazingly short. 1.2770 0.04580 148 115 25 8
1320 First it's a guy in a snorkel, then a guy in a scuba outfit, now two douchebags are trying to use Tubas in place of N95 masks. Fuck man, go ahead. I'll get the next one. 1.2770 0.04580 148 117 22 9
1321 You're lucky. The accordions got off on the last floor. 1.2770 0.04580 148 115 25 8
1322 You guys dress pretty loud! 1.2770 0.04777 148 117 21 10
1323 Come on in, the instrument has a built-in social distancing feature. 1.2770 0.04479 148 114 27 7
1324 Listen. You carry a tuba, you’re already doing social distancing. 1.2770 0.04048 148 110 35 3
1325 We are tubas. Of course we’re going down. 1.2770 0.04375 148 113 29 6
1326 ... and the Thompson Tuba Twins nail social distancing. 1.2770 0.03932 148 109 37 2
1327 Think of it as eco-friendly pest control. 1.2770 0.04375 148 113 29 6
1328 The Muzak is down. Would you prefer "Girl from Ipanema" or "Wichita Lineman" 1.2770 0.04375 148 113 29 6
1329 This is tuba much elevator music 1.2770 0.04160 148 111 33 4
1330 Up or down? 1.2770 0.04580 148 115 25 8
1331 We found that this does insure social distancing when we're out and about. 1.2770 0.04160 148 111 33 4
1332 We play elevator music. What would you like to hear? 1.2770 0.03932 148 115 28 5
1333 We're on our way to the Battle of Little Big Horn. 1.2770 0.04269 148 112 31 5
1334 Oh hey Eric, you may want to catch the next one, we haven't disinfected our tubas yet. 1.2770 0.03691 148 114 31 3
1335 Tuba-ee or not tuba-ee, that is the question. 1.2770 0.04479 148 114 27 7
1336 LOUD IS A RELATIVE CONCEPT. 1.2770 0.04160 148 111 33 4
1337 You're welcome to squeeze in. But I gotta warn you, we're practicing the shark theme from Jaws. 1.2770 0.04375 148 113 29 6
1338 We can squeeze you in if you play the piccolo. 1.2770 0.04375 148 113 29 6
1339 Going up tempo? 1.2759 0.04208 145 109 32 4
1340 What number? 1.2759 0.04208 145 109 32 4
1341 Come on in, we're havin' a blast!" 1.2759 0.04429 145 111 28 6
1342 Elevator music at its finest. 1.2759 0.04641 145 113 24 8
1343 You were expecting trombones? 1.2759 0.04429 145 111 28 6
1344 You're late. I already gave her the divorce papers" 1.2759 0.04429 145 111 28 6
1345 ...as low as you want to go! 1.2759 0.04641 145 113 24 8
1346 Oh the Saints are marching in on the 4th Floor. Care to join? 1.2759 0.04429 145 111 28 6
1347 Good God, you dunce! They’re sousaphones! 1.2759 0.04092 145 108 34 3
1348 OK so we’re not six feet apart. You try it! 1.2759 0.04092 145 110 31 4
1349 We’re just a couple of Blowhards. 1.2740 0.04509 146 113 26 7
1350 Blowing Up ? 1.2740 0.04714 146 115 22 9
1351 You might want to avoid the rooftop bar. 1.2740 0.04613 146 114 24 8
1352 We're going to the roof to herald the angels to save us from this pandemic. 1.2740 0.04509 146 113 26 7
1353 Top brass... going up 1.2740 0.04294 146 111 30 5
1354 Sorry! We’re just blowing through town. 1.2740 0.04403 146 112 28 6
1355 Going oom pa pa? 1.2740 0.04403 146 112 28 6
1356 No, no, this is the tuba car. Saxophones are at 11:39. 1.2740 0.04403 146 112 28 6
1357 Do you mind? We are trying to make a TikTok! 1.2740 0.04294 146 111 30 5
1358 Tubad, no room 1.2740 0.04613 146 114 24 8
1359 Going Polka? 1.2740 0.04403 146 112 28 6
1360 Aren't you bringing the pipe organ? 1.2740 0.04613 146 114 24 8
1361 No, Sousaphones. Tubas are in shaft 6 1.2740 0.04294 146 111 30 5
1362 Oh, chill. Percussion is already up there. 1.2740 0.04183 146 113 28 5
1363 Yes, but it has great acoustics. 1.2740 0.04183 146 110 32 4
1364 Sure we take requests! How about 'Up, Up and Away" 1.2740 0.04509 146 113 26 7
1365 That’s not six feet. 1.2740 0.04403 146 112 28 6
1366 Unless you play the piccolo, better to wait for the next one. 1.2740 0.04403 146 112 28 6
1367 Going down. Way down. 1.2740 0.04068 146 116 24 6
1368 Of course we’re going down. The up elevators have flutes. 1.2740 0.04509 146 113 26 7
1369 The acoustics in here are amazing. 1.2740 0.04068 146 109 34 3
1370 But it's more fun with sound effects. 1.2740 0.04509 146 113 26 7
1371 Sorry we have to fit 74 more of us in here. 1.2740 0.04509 146 113 26 7
1372 Welcome! Do you wanna go up? Down? Or round and round? 1.2740 0.04403 146 112 28 6
1373 It's the only way the two of us could ensure social distancing on the elevator. 1.2740 0.04403 146 112 28 6
1374 new elevator music again? 1.2740 0.04403 146 112 28 6
1375 We're helping out during the ventilator shortage. 1.2740 0.04294 146 111 30 5
1376 Epic Fails of the Witness Protection Program 1.2740 0.04613 146 114 24 8
1377 Haven't you ever heard of elevator music? 1.2740 0.04403 146 112 28 6
1378 The sousaphones ensure we're six feet apart. 1.2740 0.04403 146 112 28 6
1379 The Muzak service went down. 1.2740 0.04509 146 113 26 7
1380 We call it our 'social distanceizer" 1.2740 0.04183 146 110 32 4
1381 Did you press “oompa?” 1.2740 0.04403 146 112 28 6
1382 They're sousaphones, not tubas, and no, they don't double as flotation devices. 1.2740 0.04294 146 111 30 5
1383 How far down do you want to go? 1.2740 0.04403 146 112 28 6
1384 Can you call us a Tuber? 1.2740 0.04294 146 111 30 5
1385 Is it here where we can toot our own horn? 1.2740 0.04068 146 111 31 4
1386 This new tune will blow you away! 1.2740 0.04509 146 113 26 7
1387 We're Elevator Music live ... but stand back 6' to listen. 1.2740 0.04068 146 109 34 3
1388 It’s a little tiresome but it sure helps with social distancing. 1.2740 0.04183 146 110 32 4
1389 They were having a buy one get one free special at the gift shop. 1.2740 0.04714 146 115 22 9
1390 Wanna jam in here with us? 1.2740 0.04509 146 113 26 7
1391 Don’t do it 1.2740 0.04403 146 112 28 6
1392 Back to your apartment, sir. 1.2740 0.04456 146 115 23 8
1393 Do you know what floor the meditation room is on? 1.2734 0.04658 139 108 24 7
1394 We can squeeze you in, if you hate yourself. 1.2727 0.04674 143 112 23 8
1395 We're here to oom-pah-pah you right back into self-quarantine, buster. 1.2727 0.04458 143 110 27 6
1396 We'll be done shortly…it's the Minute Waltz. 1.2727 0.04568 143 111 25 7
1397 Don't you just hate that canned elevator music? 1.2727 0.04114 143 107 33 3
1398 If you don't know the difference between a Sousaphone and a tuba, there's no room for you on this elevator. 1.2727 0.04347 143 109 29 5
1399 Requests $5. Saints $20 and no marching. 1.2727 0.04114 143 107 33 3
1400 Elevator operating for business, tuba playing for pleasure. 1.2727 0.04568 143 111 25 7
1401 So, Mac ... How about 'It's a Small World, after all...' ? 1.2727 0.04568 143 111 25 7
1402 Yeah, it's kinds cramped, but the reverb's terrific! 1.2727 0.04232 143 108 31 4
1403 Elevator music for your Elevator pitch! 1.2727 0.04674 143 112 23 8
1404 We’re practicing social distancing 1.2727 0.04458 143 110 27 6
1405 Strings? Next car. 1.2727 0.04232 143 108 31 4
1406 No, you don’t come in on four. 1.2727 0.04232 143 108 31 4
1407 You know that saying about 2 people breaking wind in an elevator, well, you'll never know ! 1.2727 0.04232 143 108 31 4
1408 They were out of masks. 1.2727 0.04568 143 111 25 7
1409 We were social distancing before it was popular. 1.2727 0.04458 143 110 27 6
1410 No one likes elevator music. We give them a reason. 1.2727 0.03992 143 111 28 4
1411 No, these are not prototype wearables. 1.2727 0.04458 143 110 27 6
1412 Larry decided to wait for the next ride, hoping it would have more subtle elevator music 1.2727 0.04232 143 108 31 4
1413 Maybe take the next one? This one only goes up to the top brass. 1.2727 0.04568 143 111 25 7
1414 Come right on in. We're having a blast! 1.2727 0.04458 143 110 27 6
1415 You look tired . Do you want us to wake you up? 1.2727 0.04568 143 111 25 7
1416 Is Oom Pah Pah Industries on this floor? 1.2727 0.04114 143 107 33 3
1417 Don't worry mate, we can reach your flat going down or up. 1.2727 0.04568 143 111 25 7
1418 It's a good gig. Has its highs and lows. Mostly lows. 1.2727 0.04114 143 107 33 3
1419 Please help us, we can’t reach the buttons. 1.2727 0.04114 143 107 33 3
1420 Musical Stay In Place Enforcement Squad. 1.2727 0.04458 143 110 27 6
1421 Not sure if I can horn my way in there. 1.2727 0.04458 143 110 27 6
1422 And oompah to you, buddy. Now wait for the mellophones. 1.2727 0.04568 143 111 25 7
1423 Nothing personal but Sousaphones are notoriously difficult to sanitize. 1.2727 0.04458 143 110 27 6
1424 OK. That's enough practice. Is this the way to Carnegie Hall? 1.2727 0.04114 143 107 33 3
1425 We're the new elevator music 2.0. 1.2727 0.04674 143 112 23 8
1426 We're increasing our lung capacity so we won't need ventilators if we test positive. 1.2727 0.04347 143 109 29 5
1427 We’re going down, like Titanic, but we’ll play your request. 1.2727 0.04347 143 113 23 7
1428 I'm not that horny! 1.2727 0.04458 143 110 27 6
1429 Won't she be surprised! 1.2727 0.03992 143 106 35 2
1430 We need more treble...what's in the satchel 1.2727 0.04458 143 110 27 6
1431 In retrospect, Muzak wasn't so bad." 1.2727 0.04568 143 111 25 7
1432 Six feet or we BLOW you back! 1.2727 0.04347 143 109 29 5
1433 If you want it in the key of "F", you'll have to wait for the express! 1.2727 0.04458 143 110 27 6
1434 If this doesn't work for social distancing, I don't know what will. 1.2727 0.04232 143 108 31 4
1435 We've got a meeting with the top brass 1.2727 0.04674 143 112 23 8
1436 We'll be here every day this week to prevent crowds from forming in the hallways. 1.2727 0.04347 143 109 29 5
1437 We heard that the Mariachi band cancelled. 1.2727 0.04347 143 109 29 5
1438 Essential personnel only. 1.2727 0.04347 143 109 29 5
1439 You know that phrase, 'it's a long way to the top if you want to rock 'n' roll?' Well, it'll feel a lot longer in here if you hate polka." 1.2727 0.03737 143 115 23 5
1440 Back six feet or we'll toot! 1.2727 0.04880 143 114 19 10
1441 ...Tuba convention? No, that's at the Ritz...Crosstown. 1.2727 0.04458 143 110 27 6
1442 Have you seen a Drum Major around here anywhere? 1.2721 0.04269 147 112 30 5
1443 You sure you want to jam in here? 1.2695 0.04135 141 111 25 5
1444 The acoustics are even better than in the bathroom! C'mon in. 1.2695 0.04488 141 109 26 6
1445 Just because we toot for a living doesn't make it okay to do it in an elevator, Geoff. 1.2695 0.04708 141 111 22 8
1446 Just came back from a New Year’s Eve party! What did we miss? 1.2695 0.04488 141 109 26 6
1447 Sorry, little man. This elevator is reserved for the brass. 1.2695 0.04488 141 109 26 6
1448 It's illegal to have just one tuba. You could be facing tuba litigation. 1.2695 0.04599 141 110 24 7
1449 I call this little ditty, "Social Distancing". 1.2695 0.04488 141 109 26 6
1450 Actually we’re a barbershop duet with tuba costumes. 1.2695 0.04599 141 110 24 7
1451 We won low bid for live elevator music (limit: two riders, please!) 1.2695 0.04488 141 109 26 6
1452 It helps us maintain social distancing. 1.2695 0.04256 141 107 30 4
1453 This is the express elevator to the bass-ment. 1.2695 0.04708 141 111 22 8
1454 Nothing enforces social distancing quite like a sousaphone and a sousaphone player with only two lessons under his belt. 1.2695 0.04815 141 112 20 9
1455 It's our new social distancing strategy: Take two Susaphones and call us in the morning. 1.2695 0.04374 141 108 28 5
1456 Nice place to practice, but it does have its ups and downs. 1.2695 0.04488 141 109 26 6
1457 Look, if you don't appreciate live muzak, there's always the freight elevator 1.2695 0.04599 141 110 24 7
1458 Well, you can’t always get what you want. 1.2695 0.04599 141 110 24 7
1459 Our elevator pitch is low E-flat. 1.2695 0.04599 141 110 24 7
1460 Now in stereo. 1.2695 0.04599 141 110 24 7
1461 I've heard of horny, but this is ridiculous 1.2695 0.04374 141 108 28 5
1462 The sheet music called for a Doppler effect. 1.2695 0.04374 141 108 28 5
1463 Sorry, we only do rap music. 1.2695 0.04374 141 108 28 5
1464 Yes, playing the tuba has its ups and downs. 1.2695 0.04374 141 108 28 5
1465 Well, if it's just a piccolo, OK. 1.2695 0.04135 141 106 32 3
1466 George, get a load of this idiot with the messenger bag. 1.2695 0.04599 141 110 24 7
1467 We're here to play a dirge for Bonwit Teller. 1.2695 0.04374 141 108 28 5
1468 We're here to play that losing sound from "The Price is Right" any time you try to talk to that girl from 4F. 1.2695 0.04374 141 108 28 5
1469 Suddenly, Doug realized that the CDC's new recommendation promoting homemade face-masks had gone too far... 1.2695 0.04708 141 111 22 8
1470 We don't play elevator music. 1.2681 0.04308 138 105 29 4
1471 Is this G? 1.2681 0.04429 138 106 27 5
1472 You can squeeze in, we're going to the roof. 1.2681 0.04183 138 108 25 5
1473 It's our own take on elevator music. 1.2681 0.04055 138 107 27 4
1474 And now your new experience in elevator music! 1.2681 0.04308 138 105 29 4
1475 How's your hearing? 1.2681 0.04546 138 107 25 6
1476 Tuba, tuba, two by two may I ride with you? 1.2681 0.04429 138 106 27 5
1477 Take the next elevator for Bach 1.2681 0.04546 138 107 25 6
1478 Do you mind if we practice on the way up? 1.2681 0.04429 138 106 27 5
1479 Elevator’s full. 1.2681 0.04429 138 106 27 5
1480 We're full. Tuba bad! 1.2681 0.04661 138 116 12 10
1481 Going dooooown! 1.2681 0.04661 138 108 23 7
1482 Better take the next one buddy. There are 74 more of us waiting in the lobby 1.2681 0.04429 138 106 27 5
1483 It's this. Or, you can buy the stairway to heaven. 1.2681 0.04429 138 106 27 5
1484 There's only room if you play the piccolo. 1.2681 0.04546 138 107 25 6
1485 “We’re from Hell, just an annoying tuba-playing kind of Hell.” 1.2681 0.04661 138 108 23 7
1486 Is this lingerie? 1.2681 0.04546 138 107 25 6
1487 Come on. We'll play 'Dueling Tubas' for you on the way down. 1.2681 0.04183 138 104 31 3
1488 It's a new spin on elevator music 1.2681 0.04429 138 106 27 5
1489 Happy Birthday to you. Happy birthday to... 1.2681 0.04429 138 106 27 5
1490 Fully appreciated but at some point they'll probably just go with a ding to announce each floor. 1.2681 0.03922 138 104 32 2
1491 We don't know how to play - it's just for social distancing. 1.2681 0.04429 138 106 27 5
1492 We're six beats apart 1.2681 0.04429 138 106 27 5
1493 We are taking the elevator music to a new level. 1.2681 0.04308 138 105 29 4
1494 I guess they changed the elevator music. 1.2681 0.04055 138 103 33 2
1495 No one appreciates good elevator music these days. 1.2681 0.04661 138 108 23 7
1496 I don't think that's what the boss meant when he said the company's hit a low note. 1.2681 0.04546 138 107 25 6
1497 Good way to enforce the 6 foot limit! 1.2681 0.04308 138 105 29 4
1498 Come in. It gives transcendental acoustic! 1.2681 0.04661 138 108 23 7
1499 While most people stream music, podcasts, videos and games... Elevator music stages a daring, dramatic comeback! 1.2681 0.04429 138 106 27 5
1500 We've decided to show COVID-19 who's boss._ 1.2681 0.04429 138 106 27 5
1501 Excuse me Sir, do you know which floor is hosting the Tuba convention? 1.2681 0.04055 138 106 29 3
1502 Sorry. Heavy metal only. 1.2681 0.04429 138 106 27 5
1503 The *ding* broke. Until the work crew fixes it, we'll be playing for all the door openings. 1.2681 0.04429 138 106 27 5
1504 Wait a minute or two. There should be enough room with the piccolos. 1.2681 0.04546 138 107 25 6
1505 Did you happen to see 76 Trombone players? 1.2681 0.04546 138 107 25 6
1506 What floor’s the parade on? 1.2681 0.04055 138 103 33 2
1507 The acoustics are uplifting. 1.2681 0.04661 138 108 23 7
1508 It’s totally tubular, man.” 1.2681 0.04546 138 107 25 6
1509 We turned too soon. 1.2671 0.04042 146 110 33 3
1510 Pardon us. Just trying to nail down our elevator pitch. 1.2662 0.04281 139 106 29 4
1511 We've had some ups and downs this year. 1.2662 0.04632 139 111 20 8
1512 Is this considered aerosol-generating? 1.2662 0.04401 139 107 27 5
1513 Well,it would've been unlikely a couple months ago,but now,even a slow tuba duet can be seen as a lively high spot in your day. 1.2662 0.04401 139 107 27 5
1514 Just another day at the office. Today we are working on a new form of elevator music. 1.2647 0.04333 136 104 28 4
1515 Is this A-flat? 1.2647 0.04457 136 105 26 5
1516 It helps with the social distancing thing 1.2647 0.04205 136 108 24 4
1517 OMG! They take elevator music very seriously. 1.2647 0.04074 136 102 32 2
1518 Sorry the quarantine only allows two tubas in the elevator, you’ll have to wait for the next one 1.2647 0.04457 136 105 26 5
1519 Bell’s broken 1.2647 0.04810 136 108 20 8
1520 It looks really bad. Why would you even come to work without your instrument? 1.2647 0.04577 136 106 24 6
1521 Getting down. 1.2647 0.04810 136 108 20 8
1522 The management doesn't allow bagpipes. 1.2647 0.04695 136 107 22 7
1523 Well, Yes. They're supposed to be tubas, or Sousaphones. But the artist didn't really know how to draw one. 1.2647 0.04457 136 105 26 5
1524 Are you going to B Flat? 1.2647 0.04695 136 107 22 7
1525 Welcome to Macy's. You're our lucky third customer. Enjoy the Sousa. 1.2647 0.04457 136 105 26 5
1526 We're in social distancing enforcement 1.2647 0.04333 136 104 28 4
1527 No, we can't share the elevator. 1.2647 0.04695 136 107 22 7
1528 It might seem unusual, but he's my understudy. 1.2647 0.04457 136 105 26 5
1529 Come in, Sousa wrote some wonderful elevator music. 1.2647 0.04333 136 104 28 4
1530 We're trying to hit a low note. 1.2647 0.04074 136 102 32 2
1531 Did you see last weeks three submissions for the caption contest? Weren't they the lousiest ones you've ever seen. 1.2647 0.04810 136 108 20 8
1532 Let's practice social distancing: you shouldn't hear us. 1.2647 0.04457 136 105 26 5
1533 You the one with the bad lease? 1.2647 0.04457 136 105 26 5
1534 Come on in! But be careful when we swing round and march to the back. 1.2647 0.04457 136 105 26 5
1535 I thought it was the ideal way to practice social distancing, until I found Bertram had the same idea. 1.2647 0.04695 136 107 22 7
1536 Could you press the button again please ? We’re trying to tune with the ding. 1.2647 0.04695 136 107 22 7
1537 You wouldn't happen to be a conductor, would you? 1.2647 0.04577 136 106 24 6
1538 Sure it is social distancing gear. Nobody will want to be near us if we sneeze while playing. 1.2647 0.04577 136 106 24 6
1539 come on in and make a request- we are the Muzak 1.2647 0.04695 136 107 22 7
1540 Seems to be an echo in here. 1.2647 0.04457 136 105 26 5
1541 You bet your brass we can make room! 1.2647 0.04810 136 108 20 8
1542 Next stop Ground Floor! We’ll play you out. 1.2647 0.04074 136 102 32 2
1543 Two horny players going down... 1.2647 0.04577 136 106 24 6
1544 Sir, would you happen to know if the ventilator design hackathon is on this floor? 1.2647 0.04577 136 106 24 6
1545 Can you sing? 1.2647 0.04457 136 105 26 5
1546 Because they seem to encourage social distancing. 1.2647 0.04205 136 103 30 3
1547 Yeah, the elevator music is live now. The cellos are in the next car if you prefer ... 1.2647 0.04205 136 103 30 3
1548 Sixth floor...Tuba, Sousa, Lollapalooza 1.2647 0.04457 136 105 26 5
1549 Its elevator music in general you're opposed to ? 1.2647 0.04205 136 103 30 3
1550 Ooo you’re just in time to hear the Theme from Love Story! 1.2647 0.04205 136 103 30 3
1551 Horizontal Sousaphones for social distancing. 1.2647 0.04333 136 104 28 4
1552 Do you know Fugue in G Minor by Bach? 1.2647 0.04074 136 106 26 4
1553 Here’s a little something by the band Chicago. 1.2647 0.04074 136 102 32 2
1554 Our low key quarantine does have its ups and downs. 1.2647 0.04205 136 103 30 3
1555 Are you Professor Harold Hill? 1.2647 0.04577 136 106 24 6
1556 The strings are in the next elevator. We are self isolating by section. 1.2647 0.04577 136 106 24 6
1557 Going down or berserk. 1.2647 0.04577 136 108 21 7
1558 Come on in dude--and get your freak on! 1.2647 0.04695 136 107 22 7
1559 Hi, we're the two tubas going to two. 1.2647 0.04333 136 104 28 4
1560 Hop in! We're just trying to see how low we can go. 1.2647 0.04205 136 103 30 3
1561 What do you mean "what was that?" That was the tuba duet version of Love in An Elevator! Duh! 1.2647 0.04333 136 104 28 4
1562 Where is your tuba? 1.2647 0.04577 136 106 24 6
1563 We got stuck somewhere between here and fourth floor. Please don't tell me the Titanic left without us. 1.2647 0.04577 136 106 24 6
1564 The piccolos are rehearsing in the next elevator. 1.2647 0.04205 136 103 30 3
1565 They're getting serious about social distancing upstairs. 1.2647 0.04333 136 104 28 4
1566 Do you mind if we practice while you ride? 1.2647 0.04333 136 106 25 5
1567 It's legal, we're in the Brass family. 1.2647 0.04695 136 107 22 7
1568 We have room for a piccolo. 1.2647 0.04457 136 105 26 5
1569 You say tuba,I say sousaphone. We could call the whole thing off! 1.2647 0.04457 136 105 26 5
1570 I see you forgot your Tuba. 1.2647 0.04695 136 107 22 7
1571 No one expects it, but we're a marching band too. 1.2647 0.04333 136 104 28 4
1572 Who would have expected two tubas?? 1.2647 0.04205 136 103 30 3
1573 OMG, NOAH’S ELEVATOR! 1.2647 0.04695 136 107 22 7
1574 We used to be called social outcasts 1.2647 0.04333 136 104 28 4
1575 Guess you didn’t see the latest advice from the CDC. 1.2647 0.04457 136 105 26 5
1576 Yes, one of them is named Tubby. How did you know? 1.2647 0.04577 136 106 24 6
1577 DING! 1.2647 0.04333 136 107 25 4
1578 Before you say anything, have you tried drawing a tuba from memory? 1.2647 0.04577 136 106 24 6
1579 Just room for a piccolo. 1.2647 0.04333 136 104 28 4
1580 I’m not joking, tubas are buy one get one free on the 3rd floor! 1.2647 0.04577 136 106 24 6
1581 Six feet, or you lose your eardrums! 1.2647 0.03498 136 110 22 4
1582 Yes, we're going down! 1.2647 0.04457 136 105 26 5
1583 Sorry, we only have room for a drummer. 1.2647 0.04810 136 108 20 8
1584 The elevator music recording studio's closed; we're working from home. 1.2647 0.04457 136 105 26 5
1585 We’re Muzak with some oompah! 1.2647 0.04695 136 107 22 7
1586 Social distancing. We couldn't find bagpipes. 1.2647 0.04577 136 106 24 6
1587 Six Feet! Six Feet! 1.2647 0.04333 136 104 28 4
1588 Is this where we pitch swimming pool inflatables? 1.2647 0.04457 136 105 26 5
1589 We're going swimming. Wanna come with? 1.2647 0.04205 136 110 20 6
1590 It’s cool, we play ska! 1.2647 0.04577 136 106 24 6
1591 There's Trouble in Co-op City. 1.2647 0.04333 136 109 21 6
1592 It’s not ideal, but this was the closest thing we could find to n95 masks. 1.2647 0.04457 136 107 23 6
1593 Come on in! We've got room for one flute or two piccolos. 1.2647 0.04333 136 104 28 4
1594 I'm sorry. We only play elevator music. 1.2647 0.04577 136 106 24 6
1595 Here for the buy one get one sale? 1.2647 0.04457 136 105 26 5
1596 Don’t worry, we’ve been coughing into the tubas. 1.2647 0.04457 136 105 26 5
1597 They wanted elevator music that also encouraged social distancing. 1.2647 0.04205 136 103 30 3
1598 For social distancing, I think that we've proved that two is better than one. 1.2647 0.04457 136 105 26 5
1599 Have you seen the baton twirler? 1.2647 0.04577 136 106 24 6
1600 Sorry, we’re practicing social distancing. 1.2647 0.04457 136 105 26 5
1601 Lower Level? 1.2612 0.04228 134 102 29 3
1602 This is a five star hotel. We don't just pipe in prerecorded elevator music. 1.2612 0.04228 134 102 29 3
1603 You'll take the next one. 1.2612 0.04359 134 103 27 4
1604 You guys hiring? 1.2612 0.04093 134 101 31 2
1605 We're looking for our entrance. 1.2612 0.04359 134 103 27 4
1606 I’m sorry, only two people at a time are allowed on. 1.2612 0.04359 134 103 27 4
1607 It's very effective. 1.2612 0.04228 134 102 29 3
1608 Two ba' or not Two ba', that is the question! 1.2612 0.04486 134 104 25 5
1609 Hey, quarantine is quarantine. 1.2612 0.04228 134 102 29 3
1610 Three is a crowd. 1.2612 0.04486 134 104 25 5
1611 Come on in. I'm Jim. Behind me is Bill...he's a brass-hole. 1.2612 0.03954 134 106 24 4
1612 Hey buddy, I got a wedgie I can't reach, help me out. 1.2612 0.04609 134 105 23 6
1613 We can't fit another brass but we could maybe squeeze in a woodwind. 1.2612 0.04609 134 105 23 6
1614 We’re needing to leave. We couldn’t get by the metal detector. 1.2612 0.04228 134 102 29 3
1615 You don’t really care for music, do you? 1.2612 0.04609 134 107 20 7
1616 Da Saints. We're Marchin In 1.2612 0.04729 134 106 21 7
1617 You got masks for those things? 1.2612 0.04609 134 105 23 6
1618 That's right, we're the top brass. 1.2612 0.04486 134 104 25 5
1619 Yes, I did toot in the elevator. 1.2612 0.04359 134 103 27 4
1620 Our spit valve etiquette is at an all time high. 1.2612 0.04093 134 101 31 2
1621 Step in. We're spreading the coronavirus in a big way. 1.2612 0.04359 134 106 23 5
1622 Come on in, there's plenty of room 1.2612 0.03338 134 106 26 2
1623 Blowing up or down? 1.2612 0.04359 134 103 27 4
1624 I'll just take the stairs. 1.2612 0.04609 134 105 23 6
1625 S'matta'? Never heard of elevator music? 1.2612 0.04228 134 102 29 3
1626 Mr Spielberg ? We’ve had a great idea for a film. 1.2612 0.04486 134 104 25 5
1627 I'm sorry, it's 2 horny in there for me to come inside." "Are you sure Jerry? there's some space in the back." "But you guys got your hands on your instruments in a public space." "We just toot and blow...just plug your nose and face the door." 1.2612 0.03502 134 115 13 6
1628 I will need something stronger than the n95 facemask to avoid these droplets. 1.2612 0.04486 134 104 25 5
1629 It's the new condo rule to enforce social distancing in the elevator. 1.2612 0.04609 134 105 23 6
1630 Welcome to the 18th. floor Elevator Concert. We're here for two weeks. 1.2612 0.04486 134 104 25 5
1631 If I play a B-flat, you will be... well, you know 1.2612 0.04093 134 101 31 2
1632 You don't need an instrument for the party on 31. 1.2612 0.04609 134 105 23 6
1633 Grandpa was in the orchestra on the Titanic. Grandma insists we wear these. 1.2612 0.04609 134 105 23 6
1634 We're going 'um-pah' 1.2612 0.04486 134 104 25 5
1635 Come in if you have a shoehorn. 1.2612 0.04486 134 104 25 5
1636 Practicing in here has really brought our sound to another level. 1.2612 0.04486 134 104 25 5
1637 ''Which way to the pool ?" 1.2612 0.03809 134 112 17 5
1638 But David, the email said we’re meeting with the big brass 1.2576 0.04385 132 102 26 4
1639 Elevator's full. Too-baaaad. 1.2576 0.04251 132 103 25 4
1640 You'll be floored by this next number. 1.2576 0.04515 132 103 24 5
1641 I'll take the next movement 1.2576 0.04251 132 101 28 3
1642 Would you like The Final Countdown or Livin’ on a Prayer? 1.2576 0.04884 132 106 18 8
1643 If you thought singing in the shower was good... 1.2576 0.04641 132 104 22 6
1644 Ooh, look at this cool guy, messenger bag, untucked shirt. Ooh, real tough. Either take a drink, motherfucker, or get off my stage 1.2576 0.04884 132 106 18 8
1645 No, those are smaller. This is the Sousaphone car. 1.2576 0.04515 132 103 24 5
1646 Hey, Gen Z‘er, move! The droplets from these babies fly 60 feet, further with a low F. 1.2576 0.04515 132 103 24 5
1647 We were told to come in on four. 1.2576 0.04515 132 103 24 5
1648 Don't worry, there are seventy-six trombones right behind. 1.2576 0.04385 132 106 20 6
1649 I'll just wait for the next one 1.2576 0.04641 132 104 22 6
1650 We've been a duo, ever since we had our tubas tied " Submitted by Catherine Sauve Ottawa, Ontario, Canad 1.2576 0.04884 132 106 18 8
1651 We walk into a bar... 1.2576 0.04764 132 105 20 7
1652 Thanks! When the door closes, just leave the pizza and walk away . 1.2576 0.04385 132 102 26 4
1653 We have our marching orders. What's your excuse? 1.2576 0.03969 132 99 32 1
1654 Best way to carry a tune. 1.2576 0.04251 132 101 28 3
1655 Phil? 1.2558 0.04302 129 99 27 3
1656 Going down? 1.2558 0.04705 129 102 21 6
1657 Just when I thought things couldn't get any lower, we reached the bass-ment. 1.2558 0.04302 129 101 24 4
1658 From the top! 1.2558 0.04705 129 102 21 6
1659 Can you hum the first few bars...? 1.2558 0.04302 129 102 23 4
1660 Yeah yeah. Like we’ve never heard that one before. 1.2558 0.04302 129 99 27 3
1661 We suggest the stairs; your ears' health hinge on our benevolence in here. 1.2558 0.04302 129 99 27 3
1662 Is this the floor of the Jones' funeral? 1.2558 0.04705 129 102 21 6
1663 Is this the floor for lingerie? 1.2558 0.04302 129 99 27 3
1664 The next car is for man bags. 1.2558 0.04832 129 103 19 7
1665 Your choice -- take the next one or have the sousaphone experience of a lifetime. 1.2558 0.04575 129 101 23 5
1666 Yes, we've grown tubescent, but we can make room for you, too. 1.2558 0.04832 129 103 19 7
1667 I'd take the next one if I were you. This one's gonna blow. 1.2558 0.04440 129 100 25 4
1668 They seemed upbeat enough, but I’ll wait for the euphoniums. 1.2558 0.04705 129 102 21 6
1669 They say it kills the virus. 1.2558 0.04440 129 100 25 4
1670 Wait til you see the 76 trombones! 1.2558 0.04575 129 103 20 6
1671 Is this the Berman Bar Mitzvah ? 1.2558 0.04159 129 98 29 2
1672 Sorry, this is the sousaphone elevator. The tuba elevator is to your right. 1.2558 0.04302 129 99 27 3
1673 We're just filling in while they're fixing the Muzak 1.2558 0.04440 129 100 25 4
1674 No, wise guy, this is NOT the intubation ward. 1.2558 0.04440 129 100 25 4
1675 Don't worry, we studied harmony and counterpoint at Julliard." 1.2558 0.04440 129 100 25 4
1676 A job is a job, ok? 1.2558 0.04159 129 98 29 2
1677 Are you interested in participating in Phase 1 of the antibody delivery program? 1.2558 0.04832 129 103 19 7
1678 I was like you once, carefree and happy, then she said "put this on and I'll be your friend", but I don't believe her. 1.2558 0.04575 129 101 23 5
1679 Take the stairs up, the trombones and trumpets are next. 1.2558 0.04832 129 103 19 7
1680 I'm telling ya, they won't even need a caption for this one. 1.2520 0.04605 127 100 22 5
1681 No, these are sousaphones. Tubas are in the other elevator. 1.2520 0.04739 127 101 20 6
1682 I recommend taking the stairs, the Boston Pops is performing at the rooftop bar in an hour. 1.2520 0.04605 127 100 22 5
1683 We're the first-responder team from the Ghostbusters. 1.2520 0.04325 127 98 26 3
1684 Because Muzak is for sissies. 1.2520 0.04467 127 99 24 4
1685 What do you think we're doing. We're going up! 1.2520 0.04605 127 100 22 5
1686 You'll have to find another arrangement. 1.2520 0.03868 127 102 22 3
1687 Our socially distancing ensemble is suddenly catching on 1.2520 0.04026 127 96 30 1
1688 Do you play the piccolo? 1.2520 0.04605 127 100 22 5
1689 This is the only place that the neighbors will allow us to rehearse. 1.2520 0.04178 127 97 28 2
1690 We get off at 49, OK 1.2520 0.04325 127 98 26 3
1691 Seen a triangle, short, annoying? If you do, tell him Bob and Al are looking for him. 1.2520 0.04605 127 104 16 7
1692 We got the last two Lysol dispensers. 1.2520 0.04739 127 101 20 6
1693 We may not look like essential workers, but we play a mean duet. 1.2520 0.04605 127 100 22 5
1694 Come on in - you're just in time for the finale. 1.2520 0.04178 127 97 28 2
1695 An octave higher or an octave lower? 1.2520 0.04605 127 100 22 5
1696 Headed to the Bass-ment 1.2520 0.04325 127 102 20 5
1697 I picked a good day to have a burrito for lunch. 1.2520 0.04869 127 102 18 7
1698 Social distancing devices, yes sir. 1.2520 0.04739 127 101 20 6
1699 Sorry! You came in behind the beat. 1.2520 0.04467 127 99 24 4
1700 You may want to wait for the next car. It has the piccolo player. 1.2520 0.04869 127 102 18 7
1701 The people in the penthouse think low frequencies kill the Covid19 virus. 1.2520 0.04605 127 100 22 5
1702 We didn't have a choice. The other elevator is Baroque. 1.2520 0.04605 127 100 22 5
1703 We will be picking up another tuba on the next floor. 1.2520 0.03868 127 105 18 4
1704 Sorry to blow you off, but we’re full. 1.2520 0.04605 127 100 22 5
1705 It's a great way to keep our Social distancing. 1.2520 0.04325 127 98 26 3
1706 Hope you’re the piccolo player 1.2520 0.04605 127 100 22 5
1707 So, is the all you can eat dinner menu as good as they say ? 1.2520 0.04325 127 98 26 3
1708 Hold the Covid-19 jokes. 1.2520 0.04605 127 100 22 5
1709 No, actually, they're sousaphones. 1.2520 0.04605 127 100 22 5
1710 Going up while tuning up. 1.2520 0.04605 127 100 22 5
1711 Who ordered Hooters? 1.2520 0.04996 127 103 16 8
1712 We find it's very effective for social distancing. 1.2520 0.04178 127 97 28 2
1713 What happened to elevator senior hour? 1.2520 0.04325 127 98 26 3
1714 This elevator is for the top brass. 1.2520 0.04467 127 99 24 4
1715 The hotel didn't pay their Muzak licensing bill. 1.2520 0.04739 127 101 20 6
1716 We are the elevator music. Still working out the logistics! 1.2520 0.04467 127 99 24 4
1717 It's the only way we ever get to play higher notes. 1.2520 0.04325 127 98 26 3
1718 Is this the lobby? 1.2520 0.04605 127 100 22 5
1719 Well, we can’t play the trains these days. 1.2520 0.04605 127 100 22 5
1720 That's one way to keep people six feet away from you, Bob 1.2520 0.04467 127 99 24 4
1721 Wanna hear our Covid fight song?! 1.2520 0.04996 127 103 16 8
1722 The chime's broken again. 1.2520 0.04739 127 101 20 6
1723 Don't worry--you'll be able to hear us from twenty-seven feet away. 1.2520 0.04739 127 101 20 6
1724 I know we're not allowed up here but please tell us: what happened to the good boy after he got his well-deserved fudge? 1.2520 0.03868 127 99 26 2
1725 'Where's the Colo-rectal Surgeons meeting room? 1.2520 0.04467 127 99 24 4
1726 And the band played on. 1.2520 0.04325 127 98 26 3
1727 Where's the Exec Suite for the big brass? 1.2520 0.04605 127 100 22 5
1728 New social distancing measures. 1.2520 0.04739 127 101 20 6
1729 Brass section only, sir. 1.2520 0.04467 127 99 24 4
1730 Hey, you wanna take a ride with the top brass? 1.2520 0.04605 127 100 22 5
1731 Not THAT kind of horny! 1.2520 0.04605 127 100 22 5
1732 We accept tips not to play. 1.2520 0.04467 127 99 24 4
1733 It's to boost morale. 1.2520 0.04869 127 102 18 7
1734 Please come in, we've replaced the elevator music with a sousaphone duet and would appreciate your opinion. 1.2520 0.04178 127 103 19 5
1735 We had to play somewhere. 1.2520 0.04605 127 100 22 5
1736 Womp, wooooomp 1.2520 0.04869 127 102 18 7
1737 YOU MAY WANT TO WEAR EARPLUGS. 1.2520 0.04178 127 97 28 2
1738 Did you order the escort? 1.2520 0.04325 127 98 26 3
1739 This elevator really blows. 1.2520 0.04467 127 101 21 5
1740 Hey it beats busking on the L train 1.2520 0.04605 127 100 22 5
1741 C'mon in - you'll help deaden the sound. 1.2520 0.04605 127 100 22 5
1742 No masks available so we figured this would keep people away 1.2520 0.04178 127 97 28 2
1743 The Philharmonic is in social isolation 1.2520 0.04467 127 99 24 4
1744 For a C-note we won’t play a single note 1.2520 0.04739 127 101 20 6
1745 Where the hell is your tuba? 1.2520 0.04739 127 101 20 6
1746 We got tired of marching up the stairs. 1.2520 0.04605 127 100 22 5
1747 If you think this is crowded, wait till the percussion section 1.2520 0.04467 127 99 24 4
1748 Have the other 74 already arrived ? 1.2520 0.04467 127 99 24 4
1749 Yeah, I know, but apparently we’re f***ing essential 1.2520 0.04739 127 101 20 6
1750 These are our home made respirators 1.2520 0.04467 127 99 24 4
1751 The acoustics in here are up and down. 1.2520 0.04869 127 102 18 7
1752 Did you order the tubagram? 1.2520 0.04605 127 100 22 5
1753 Was that you? 1.2520 0.04869 127 102 18 7
1754 What were you expecting, muzak 1.2520 0.04739 127 101 20 6
1755 Why don't I just work from home like everybody else? 1.2520 0.04467 127 99 24 4
1756 We’ve been replaced by a phone app. 1.2520 0.04467 127 99 24 4
1757 Please don't sneeze 1.2520 0.04178 127 97 28 2
1758 Our seventy six trombones exceeded capacity. 1.2520 0.04996 127 103 16 8
1759 The speakers are down. We're the new elevator music. 1.2520 0.04605 127 100 22 5
1760 It's OK. From the mouthpiece to the bell is three feet. 1.2520 0.04605 127 100 22 5
1761 It's our way of practicing social distancing. 1.2520 0.04605 127 100 22 5
1762 One minute the 76 trombones were in front of us, ... 1.2520 0.04739 127 101 20 6
1763 Which way are Tuba Aerobics? 1.2520 0.04467 127 99 24 4
1764 I'm getting out of this lease one way or another. 1.2520 0.04996 127 103 16 8
1765 The big boss just gave us our marching orders. 1.2520 0.04325 127 98 26 3
1766 This is as low as we can go. 1.2520 0.04467 127 99 24 4
1767 It's uplifting music. 1.2520 0.04739 127 101 20 6
1768 We don’t play, but it’s great for social distancing 1.2520 0.04178 127 97 28 2
1769 We were getting complaints about the muzak. 1.2520 0.04325 127 98 26 3
1770 Going Oooomp? 1.2520 0.04739 127 101 20 6
1771 We heard they were making a comeback. 1.2520 0.04467 127 99 24 4
1772 You were expecting maybe the New York Philharmonic? 1.2520 0.04178 127 97 28 2
1773 The ship went down. 1.2520 0.04467 127 99 24 4
1774 Join us! We’re headed to a gigantic desk concert. 1.2500 0.04227 124 95 27 2
1775 Some guy in the penthouse has hired us as his 'Distancing Crew.' 1.2500 0.04296 128 99 26 3
1776 Don't worry. I'll just wait for the next one. 1.2500 0.04669 124 98 21 5
1777 It's to encourage social distancing. 1.2500 0.04379 124 96 25 3
1778 Typical elevator Germans. I'll take the next one. 1.2500 0.04526 124 97 23 4
1779 Do you know what floor has the horn section? 1.2500 0.04227 124 95 27 2
1780 Most requested? Kenny G, of course. 1.2500 0.04669 124 98 21 5
1781 The elevator chime just wasn't doing it for us 1.2500 0.04573 128 101 22 5
1782 Noah is loading up again, and asked for two of everything, including tubas. 1.2500 0.04942 124 100 17 7
1783 It’s the newest guideline for practicing social distancing. 1.2500 0.05201 124 102 13 9
1784 We're replacing the Muzak. 1.2500 0.04526 124 97 23 4
1785 It’s how we are enforcing social distancing. 1.2500 0.04379 124 96 25 3
1786 Is this the Bass ment? 1.2500 0.04379 124 96 25 3
1787 Sorry, this one is for the top brass. 1.2500 0.04669 124 103 14 7
1788 Are the Muzak auditions on this floor? 1.2500 0.05073 124 101 15 8
1789 Going down. Three octaves. 1.2500 0.04526 124 97 23 4
1790 We’ve replaced the Muzak. 1.2500 0.04669 124 98 21 5
1791 We find they really, really promote social distancing. 1.2500 0.04227 124 95 27 2
1792 Going downbeat. 1.2500 0.04227 124 95 27 2
1793 The whole brass section is quarantined and hungry, so order us takeout or we'll blow some seriously large droplets! 1.2500 0.04379 124 96 25 3
1794 Come on guys. Read the room. It's not a time for tubas. 1.2500 0.04227 124 100 20 4
1795 Step aboard and join us in redefining the concept of "elevator music." 1.2500 0.04526 124 97 23 4
1796 What are you staring at? 14 days in lockdown and we’re gonna get a little tubby! 1.2500 0.04807 124 99 19 6
1797 If you don't like elevator music, take the stairs. 1.2500 0.04942 124 100 17 7
1798 Muzak is out again. 1.2500 0.04669 124 98 21 5
1799 They help keep us two meters apart. 1.2500 0.04379 124 96 25 3
1800 Be sure to avoid floor six, it has some nasty violinists 1.2500 0.04227 124 95 27 2
1801 ---and you thought you would have a quiet ride up ``` 1.2500 0.04526 124 97 23 4
1802 No! These are not tubas, they are sousaphones! Geez! 1.2500 0.04807 124 99 19 6
1803 Next level brass. 1.2500 0.04807 124 99 19 6
1804 It's 6:55pm! 1.2500 0.04807 124 99 19 6
1805 There are fifteen clowns in the next one over . But then again, they have flutes. 1.2500 0.04669 124 98 21 5
1806 We're not social distancing, but this is where we shelter in place. 1.2500 0.04526 124 97 23 4
1807 This is how we strike the high notes. 1.2500 0.04807 124 99 19 6
1808 Nope. Not without a tuba. 1.2500 0.04526 124 97 23 4
1809 Harumph! 1.2500 0.04379 124 96 25 3
1810 Hope you like elevator music. 1.2500 0.04526 124 97 23 4
1811 Sorry, we are going to the bass-ment. 1.2500 0.04379 124 96 25 3
1812 We're 180 pounds to weight capacity so be honest. 1.2500 0.04669 124 98 21 5
1813 Sorry, can't let you in...we're with the social-distancing band. 1.2500 0.04807 124 99 19 6
1814 Achieves social distancing every time. 1.2500 0.04379 124 96 25 3
1815 We're late for the fourth movement of Symphonie Fantastique. 1.2500 0.04526 124 97 23 4
1816 Just practicing until we get to Carnegie Hall. 1.2500 0.04526 124 97 23 4
1817 So this is where they record elevator music! 1.2500 0.04379 124 96 25 3
1818 Sorry... but the acoustics are better when the door is closed. 1.2500 0.04807 124 99 19 6
1819 The acoustics are sublime... 1.2500 0.04807 124 99 19 6
1820 we specialize in elevator music 1.2500 0.04669 124 98 21 5
1821 Originally called, wired radio, muzak was designed to have a calming effect... 1.2500 0.04526 124 97 23 4
1822 Excuse me, Sir, do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior John Philip Sousa? 1.2500 0.04807 124 99 19 6
1823 Just be glad you're not going to the penthouse with the piccolos. 1.2500 0.04669 124 98 21 5
1824 John, I think the audience of the third floor was more engaged. 1.2500 0.04669 124 98 21 5
1825 We don't play, but the tubas keep us at least three feet apart. 1.2500 0.04807 124 99 19 6
1826 I hope you like music! 1.2500 0.04942 124 100 17 7
1827 I've got more if you really want to keep people six feet away 1.2500 0.04379 124 96 25 3
1828 We make social distancing easy. 1.2500 0.04379 124 96 25 3
1829 The Muzak system is down. We'll be your elevator entertainment for today! 1.2500 0.04526 124 97 23 4
1830 This elevator goes to eleven! 1.2500 0.04379 124 96 25 3
1831 Yes. Organic elevator music. 1.2500 0.04669 124 98 21 5
1832 We can't get any farther apart. We certainly don't have room for you. 1.2500 0.04669 124 98 21 5
1833 Two tubas is six feet. You can pick one up in the lobby. 1.2500 0.04227 124 95 27 2
1834 New employee perk: live elevator music 1.2500 0.04227 124 95 27 2
1835 Where is the practice for the President’s Easter Parade ? 1.2500 0.04526 124 97 23 4
1836 The elevator with the drums is way worse. 1.2500 0.04669 124 98 21 5
1837 People complained about the old elevator music. 1.2500 0.04807 124 99 19 6
1838 We vowed to march through many ups and downs. 1.2500 0.04526 124 97 23 4
1839 We're going down. For the trumpets you have to go up. 1.2500 0.04526 124 97 23 4
1840 Live elevator music for your enjoyment, sir. 1.2500 0.04227 124 100 20 4
1841 Everyone else in the orchestra seems to prefer social distancing 1.2500 0.04379 124 96 25 3
1842 We are installing new elevator music. 1.2500 0.04069 124 94 29 1
1843 Don’t go up to four. They’re giving out marching papers. 1.2500 0.04669 124 98 21 5
1844 And now, it's the Love Theme from 'Dressed to Kill.' 1.2459 0.04247 122 97 22 3
1845 We sound best at a distance of 6ft or more. 1.2459 0.04403 122 95 24 3
1846 Please show us to the Lopez Quinceanera. 1.2459 0.04701 122 97 20 5
1847 What? No tuba? Get a life, Bro 1.2459 0.04981 122 99 16 7
1848 We had a request for live elevator music 1.2459 0.04555 122 96 22 4
1849 We're here to play "This Too Shall Pass" 1.2459 0.04247 122 96 23 3
1850 No, we're going way down. 1.2459 0.04247 122 97 22 3
1851 Sorry, the Muzak is down. 1.2459 0.04403 122 95 24 3
1852 Wait what? You say you ordered curbside pick up? We were told you asked for delivery. 1.2459 0.04247 122 94 26 2
1853 We're the 2 Ba's. 1.2459 0.04843 122 98 18 6
1854 Welcome to the polka car! 1.2459 0.04843 122 98 18 6
1855 You have kissable lips! 1.2459 0.04843 122 98 18 6
1856 Welcome to our upgraded elevator music program. 1.2459 0.04701 122 97 20 5
1857 Is it the BASSment? 1.2459 0.04701 122 97 20 5
1858 You could use something to lift you up today 1.2459 0.04247 122 94 26 2
1859 Tusk! 1.2459 0.05115 122 100 14 8
1860 Come on! We’re here to make your elevator ride enjoyable 1.2459 0.04247 122 94 26 2
1861 YouTuba? 1.2459 0.04701 122 97 20 5
1862 Sousaphones promote social distancing." 1.2459 0.03915 122 92 30 0
1863 Who puts buttons on the side of an elevator? 1.2459 0.04555 122 96 22 4
1864 Wait for the next car. It’s the piccolo. 1.2459 0.04247 122 94 26 2
1865 ah damn! these aren’t the strippers I ordered! 1.2459 0.04981 122 99 16 7
1866 Diminuendo...? 1.2459 0.04701 122 97 20 5
1867 We’re the new big thing in elevator music! 1.2459 0.04247 122 96 23 3
1868 Your 'murse' makes you look like a doofus, you know. 1.2459 0.04701 122 97 20 5
1869 Sorry to take up so much room, but we've got our marching orders. 1.2459 0.04701 122 97 20 5
1870 You’re wife sent us. You’re late to the orchestra. 1.2459 0.04701 122 97 20 5
1871 The acoustics are fantastic in here. 1.2459 0.04247 122 94 26 2
1872 Sorry, we're at maximum volume 1.2459 0.04555 122 96 22 4
1873 Boy, that meeting sure ended on a low note. 1.2459 0.04403 122 95 24 3
1874 We've been sheltered in place and just got called up by the top brass. 1.2459 0.04701 122 97 20 5
1875 You should be happy the percussion section got off on 5. 1.2459 0.04555 122 96 22 4
1876 Going all the way up? Wait for the piccolo. 1.2459 0.04555 122 98 19 5
1877 Better wait for the next one buddy, this one’s all about that bass. 1.2459 0.04555 122 96 22 4
1878 To be tubas or not tubas, that is the question. 1.2459 0.05115 122 100 14 8
1879 Going oompapa oompapa? 1.2459 0.04981 122 99 16 7
1880 Are you still sure you don't want to take the stairs? 1.2459 0.04247 122 94 26 2
1881 Can you pronounce “Grolsch”? 1.2459 0.04403 122 95 24 3
1882 These team-building activities are really starting to go over the top. 1.2459 0.04247 122 94 26 2
1883 Management takes elevator music seriously sir. 1.2459 0.04555 122 96 22 4
1884 We play the twoba 1.2459 0.04555 122 96 22 4
1885 We were hired by a hearing aid specialist on the top floor. 1.2459 0.03915 122 98 21 3
1886 Where's your piccolo? 1.2459 0.04701 122 97 20 5
1887 We still have room for a piccolo" 1.2459 0.04403 122 95 24 3
1888 Going down....to a low b flat. 1.2459 0.04555 122 96 22 4
1889 Oh, you ordered a tuna sandwich? 1.2459 0.04555 122 96 22 4
1890 Can you catch the next one? We are trying to adjust for the acoustics. 1.2459 0.04403 122 95 24 3
1891 Keep those requests coming 1.2459 0.04843 122 98 18 6
1892 Sorry, we're still going lower. 1.2459 0.04247 122 94 26 2
1893 Our playing helps maintain social distancing. 1.2459 0.04403 122 95 24 3
1894 The speakers broke so the building called the elevator music corporation and they brought in us. Don’t ask, just go with it. 1.2459 0.04555 122 96 22 4
1895 Is this a sign that I should start taking the stairs? 1.2459 0.04555 122 96 22 4
1896 Rest assured, you won't have to hear the elevator music. 1.2459 0.04403 122 95 24 3
1897 Hmm... I think I forgot my keys. 1.2459 0.04701 122 97 20 5
1898 This is the Flashmob elevator. Are you the conductor? 1.2459 0.04403 122 95 24 3
1899 The Muzak Brothers' first beta-test. 1.2459 0.04403 122 95 24 3
1900 Sorry, you'll have to catch the next one. We're joining 76 trombones in the lounge. 1.2459 0.04247 122 94 26 2
1901 Do you play the accordion? 1.2459 0.04403 122 95 24 3
1902 In case we get COVID-19, they won't have to intubate us. 1.2459 0.04843 122 98 18 6
1903 It works for us!!!! No-one else fits!!!! 1.2459 0.04555 122 96 22 4
1904 Two's a crowd, three's a fire hazard. 1.2459 0.04555 122 96 22 4
1905 You have to get up pretty..early..in..the..morning to hang with the Heinz brothers. 1.2459 0.04403 122 95 24 3
1906 Can we serenade you on the way down? 1.2459 0.04403 122 95 24 3
1907 We're taking requests today! 1.2459 0.04843 122 98 18 6
1908 The acoustics are just awesome. 1.2459 0.04701 122 97 20 5
1909 We're here to see your top brass? 1.2459 0.04843 122 98 18 6
1910 You might want to hop on before the 76 trombonists show up. 1.2459 0.04701 122 97 20 5
1911 Say, is the oom-pah room on this floor? 1.2459 0.04403 122 95 24 3
1912 I've had enough of the tiny clubs Roger, we're going straight to the top. 1.2459 0.04555 122 96 22 4
1913 Would you like some elevator music while going up? 1.2459 0.04701 122 97 20 5
1914 hoping to delve down into the depths of those lower notes? 1.2459 0.04247 122 94 26 2
1915 Epstein didn't kill himself. 1.2459 0.04843 122 98 18 6
1916 We entertain, inspire, and contribute to social distancing. 1.2459 0.04247 122 94 26 2
1917 Clogged toilet in 419 1.2459 0.04981 122 99 16 7
1918 I never knew how good the acoustics were in here! 1.2459 0.04555 122 96 22 4
1919 We sound best at about the 9th floor. 1.2459 0.04701 122 97 20 5
1920 We are just trying to ensure social distancing. 1.2439 0.04667 123 98 20 5
1921 Much like scorpions, Sousaphones travel in pairs. 1.2439 0.04372 123 96 24 3
1922 Somebody vandalized the elevator audio- - We are your live Muzak 1.2439 0.04808 123 99 18 6
1923 You can horn in. 1.2439 0.04217 123 95 26 2
1924 Our pitch to provide live elevator music fell flat. 1.2439 0.04217 123 95 26 2
1925 I'm saying it right now - it wasn't us. 1.2439 0.04217 123 95 26 2
1926 Granted, it's not the best arrangement. 1.2417 0.04583 120 95 21 4
1927 We tried kazoos, then vuvuzelas, but we didn't get a single laugh. 1.2417 0.04583 120 95 21 4
1928 Get on now. There won't be any room when the string section comes up. 1.2417 0.04583 120 95 21 4
1929 Come on in we are going to play NAME THAT TUNE. 1.2417 0.04583 120 95 21 4
1930 Do you know which floor the rehearsal is on? 1.2417 0.04427 120 94 23 3
1931 No time to explain, we’re from 2025 - just get in. 1.2417 0.04879 120 97 17 6
1932 Hi! We're The Two Tubby Tubas and we're stopping on each floor to cheer y'all up. 1.2417 0.04583 120 95 21 4
1933 Are you doing this for all Covid-19 survivors? 1.2417 0.04879 120 97 17 6
1934 The blast from these babies will keep people 6ft.away 1.2417 0.04266 120 93 25 2
1935 Looks like doors are finally opening for us. 1.2417 0.04879 120 97 17 6
1936 I’m sure I don’t know what two tubas might be doing in your elevator but these two sousaphones are going down. 1.2417 0.04733 120 96 19 5
1937 Things do tend to get a little wild on John Philip Sousa Appreciation Day. 1.2417 0.04583 120 95 21 4
1938 Chamber music 1.2417 0.04733 120 96 19 5
1939 What? They said elevator music was in style! 1.2417 0.04583 120 95 21 4
1940 Let me just warn you pal, this elevator ride blows. 1.2417 0.04733 120 96 19 5
1941 Three's a crowd, buddy. 1.2417 0.04266 120 93 25 2
1942 The airline lost our cases. Good thing we always carry these with us, or we would be out of a gig tonight! 1.2417 0.04427 120 96 20 4
1943 Sorry, only have room for a piccolo or possibly a flute. 1.2417 0.04583 120 95 21 4
1944 Courtesy of the landlord, after tenants complained about the Muzak. 1.2417 0.04583 120 95 21 4
1945 Care to hear a John Philip Sousa tune in stereo? 1.2417 0.04733 120 96 19 5
1946 We’re tired of Muzak, that’s all! 1.2417 0.03924 120 91 29 0
1947 Sorry, the A Train is no longer running. 1.2417 0.04733 120 96 19 5
1948 On Tuesdays this is our practice space but you're welcome to join us for a few floors. 1.2417 0.04733 120 96 19 5
1949 You're late,again. 1.2417 0.04583 120 95 21 4
1950 No worries. Our tubas are equipped with filters that protect against airborne viruses. 1.2417 0.03924 120 99 18 3
1951 Sousaphone, actually. We get that a lot. 1.2417 0.04583 120 95 21 4
1952 Unfortunately, we both had the same plan to keep people six feet away. 1.2417 0.04583 120 95 21 4
1953 Before you get on, I should warn you, we’ll be rehearsing all the way up 1.2417 0.04583 120 95 21 4
1954 Going down? Of course - we never go very high. 1.2417 0.04583 120 95 21 4
1955 The piccolos took the stairs. 1.2417 0.04266 120 93 25 2
1956 Don't bother with the stairs. 1.2417 0.04733 120 96 19 5
1957 Sorry, no room for social distancing. 1.2417 0.04099 120 92 27 1
1958 The Muzak system is down. 1.2417 0.04583 120 95 21 4
1959 This one is full, but the next one has the flutes. 1.2417 0.04427 120 94 23 3
1960 Sorry, we've got to keep some social distance. Rehearsal just ended and we're heading down from the roof. 1.2417 0.04427 120 94 23 3
1961 We’ve found the perfect way to maintain social distance! 1.2417 0.04733 120 96 19 5
1962 Come in, there's plenty of vroom. 1.2417 0.04879 120 97 17 6
1963 For a moment, Neil thought he was dreaming: finally an elevator ride free from the constant terror of severe IBS. 1.2417 0.04733 120 96 19 5
1964 You must have missed the last virtual meeting—new department rule—we have to stand at least one sousaphone apart in elevators. 1.2417 0.04266 120 93 25 2
1965 Hold that note, I'm going up! 1.2417 0.04733 120 96 19 5
1966 Is there room for an harmonica player 1.2417 0.04266 120 93 25 2
1967 Don't think of them as tubas but as "social distancing" aids. 1.2417 0.04583 120 95 21 4
1968 We’re better than muzak 1.2417 0.04099 120 92 27 1
1969 That was the sousaphone you heard. 1.2417 0.04266 120 93 25 2
1970 So, where's your tuba, Bob? 1.2417 0.04583 120 95 21 4
1971 Sorry, but we’re going to the bass-ment. 1.2417 0.04266 120 93 25 2
1972 I'll take the next one. It's not you, it's social distancing... 1.2417 0.04427 120 94 23 3
1973 Sorry! The masks were all sold out 1.2417 0.04733 120 96 19 5
1974 Didn't get the memo? You were supposed to bring the accordion. 1.2417 0.04266 120 93 25 2
1975 Were you expecting piccolos? 1.2417 0.04427 120 94 23 3
1976 The tubas help us maintain a social distance. 1.2417 0.04427 120 94 23 3
1977 I use the tuba to keep people 6 feet away, but it doesn't work against other tuba enthusiasts. Anyway, take the stairs, it's healthier. 1.2417 0.04733 120 96 19 5
1978 We've been hired to play "Happy Birthday" by the Men's Room sinks. 1.2417 0.04583 120 95 21 4
1979 Thankyou, I'll take the next one. 1.2417 0.04427 120 94 23 3
1980 Can you go, “Oom”? 1.2417 0.04266 120 93 25 2
1981 Get on. We're about to play Blow The Man Down! 1.2417 0.04733 120 96 19 5
1982 Sorry, this one is brass only. 1.2417 0.04266 120 93 25 2
1983 It's like tubas were invented for social distancing. 1.2417 0.04733 120 96 19 5
1984 The Muzak player is getting fixed. 1.2417 0.04583 120 95 21 4
1985 This is just a rehearsal. 1.2417 0.04583 120 95 21 4
1986 We are management's response to ingrate tenants' complaints about the elevator music. 1.2417 0.04733 120 96 19 5
1987 It discourages social interaction. 1.2417 0.04099 120 92 27 1
1988 This one came with lousy elevator music 1.2417 0.04583 120 95 21 4
1989 Get in! We’re blowing the lid off this joint! 1.2417 0.04733 120 96 19 5
1990 We don’t know “You’ve Got to Be Kidding.” Any other requests before we go? 1.2417 0.04879 120 97 17 6
1991 Hey man, you hiring by any chance? 1.2417 0.04733 120 96 19 5
1992 Out of the way! We've had our tubas tied! 1.2417 0.03550 120 100 18 2
1993 It’s not a competition, but I’m winning.” 1.2417 0.04583 120 95 21 4
1994 Which floor is Alexa on? 1.2417 0.04879 120 97 17 6
1995 Wait! Don't come into the elevator! Some wacko keeps trapping people in tubas! 1.2397 0.04698 121 97 19 5
1996 I’ll take the next one, I’d rather not listen to elevator music 1.2397 0.04843 121 98 17 6
1997 Looks like there will be more elevator music than usual 1.2393 0.04646 117 93 20 4
1998 No, it's a sousaphone. 1.2393 0.04646 117 93 20 4
1999 There's room in here if you play the flute." Michael Rogness, St. Paul, Minnesot 1.2393 0.04485 117 92 22 3
2000 Did you hear the one about the two boomers in an elevator? 1.2393 0.04646 117 93 20 4
2001 This elevator blows. 1.2393 0.04802 117 94 18 5
2002 Well blow me down... 1.2393 0.04317 117 91 24 2
2003 This is how we practice our high and low notes. 1.2393 0.04485 117 92 22 3
2004 You may want to wait for the next lift, we are about to play duet.. 1.2393 0.04143 117 90 26 1
2005 'Tuba'd. Take the next one." "Ugh, you guys blow. 1.2393 0.04802 117 94 18 5
2006 If you can figure out how to better keep people away, I'd like to know. 1.2393 0.04802 117 94 18 5
2007 We oordinarily do stand six feet apart, so people can get us in stereo. 1.2393 0.04485 117 92 22 3
2008 If you don't mind waiting for the next, there will be more room with the flutists. 1.2393 0.04646 117 93 20 4
2009 We hate elevator music. 1.2393 0.04953 117 95 16 6
2010 Come on in and listen to us practice some favorite Sousa marches. 1.2393 0.04802 117 96 15 6
2011 It's a social distancing device and an in-joke about improved design for Sousaphones which we won't explain to you. 1.2393 0.04802 117 94 18 5
2012 The muzak's not working 1.2393 0.04317 117 94 20 3
2013 We could use a third. You play piccolo? 1.2393 0.04485 117 92 22 3
2014 Is that a piccolo in your pocket or are you just happy to see me? 1.2393 0.04646 117 93 20 4
2015 Social distancing is instrumental. 1.2393 0.04317 117 91 24 2
2016 Wrong floor! Oh, these damned reunions aren't as much fun as they used to be. 1.2393 0.04317 117 91 24 2
2017 Sorry I'm late, a bunch of blowhards were using the elevator. 1.2393 0.04646 117 93 20 4
2018 You think you're good but there's two guys in the next elevator blowing their trumpet. 1.2393 0.04802 117 94 18 5
2019 Our next number is by request. We're going to play "Far, Far Away". 1.2393 0.04646 117 93 20 4
2020 Jump in ! The other elevator has seventy six trombones....... 1.2393 0.04802 117 94 18 5
2021 And now, Dueling Tubas Present 'Flight of the Bumblebee. 1.2393 0.04802 117 94 18 5
2022 Sorry, but we didn't like the elevator music. 1.2393 0.04317 117 91 24 2
2023 Johnny decides to take the stairs this time because the Tuba Twins always push his buttons. 1.2393 0.04485 117 92 22 3
2024 Really, Gerald, these capacity limits are so discriminating. 1.2393 0.04317 117 91 24 2
2025 We're only taking requests from one to three today. 1.2393 0.04646 117 93 20 4
2026 Streets are empty. But hey - born to busk. 1.2393 0.04646 117 93 20 4
2027 Hey!!! Eyes down here. 1.2393 0.04802 117 94 18 5
2028 Any chance there's a fife in that case? 1.2393 0.04802 117 94 18 5
2029 It's a blast going down. 1.2393 0.04317 117 91 24 2
2030 Loud mouth. 1.2393 0.04646 117 93 20 4
2031 We all have our ups and downs so I suggest you take the next one. 1.2393 0.04646 117 93 20 4
2032 It's Showtime , sucker. 1.2393 0.04646 117 93 20 4
2033 But if we took the stairs we'd be the no wind section. 1.2393 0.04485 117 92 22 3
2034 Before you ask; no, we didn’t coordinate outfits. 1.2393 0.04646 117 93 20 4
2035 Can you see our room key? I think I just dropped it" 1.2393 0.04802 117 94 18 5
2036 We're social distancing. 1.2393 0.04485 117 92 22 3
2037 Two tubas to tower two. 1.2393 0.04485 117 92 22 3
2038 5th Floor, Coming Up!!!!!!!!!!!!! 1.2393 0.04646 117 93 20 4
2039 We were sent to enforce social distancing 1.2393 0.04802 117 94 18 5
2040 Building management is now offering live elevator music to encourage residents to take the stairs. 1.2393 0.05100 117 96 14 7
2041 And there hasn't been any more complaints about the elevator music since. 1.2393 0.04802 117 94 18 5
2042 Please, tell me you’ve cleared your spit valves?! 1.2393 0.04802 117 94 18 5
2043 Sorry, New Yorker staff contributor, Andy Borowitz. We, a vastly more tolerable comedic sousaphone ensemble, are here to replace you. If you pack up your things, we are happy to comically accompany you out the door. 1.2373 0.04915 118 96 16 6
2044 Do you know which clinic does spit valve cleaning? 1.2373 0.04113 118 91 26 1
2045 Due to social distancing and the amount of spittle we spew you should wait until the next one. 1.2373 0.04451 118 93 22 3
2046 It’s not like we want to practice in here, but the woodwinds already called the stairwell. 1.2368 0.04712 114 91 19 4
2047 No worries — the flute section is practicing on the other elevator. 1.2348 0.04510 115 91 21 3
2048 Unless you play the flute, there is no room. 1.2348 0.04337 115 93 19 3
2049 There'll be more room when the flutists come down. 1.2348 0.04158 115 89 25 1
2050 Yes...two tubas. Two. Two tubas. And if you give us any more crap about it we'll start playing them. 1.2348 0.04676 115 92 19 4
2051 Don't look so surprised; these are the best social distancing tools we could find. 1.2348 0.04510 115 91 21 3
2052 Hey, the acoustics are terrible in here, mister music critic! 1.2348 0.04510 115 91 21 3
2053 They're exactly 6' wide. You're welcome! 1.2348 0.04510 115 91 21 3
2054 Nothing like a little elevator music to get the day started, eh? 1.2348 0.04510 115 91 21 3
2055 Wanna join us? Noah’s building a boat and insists we board “Tuba:Two.” 1.2348 0.04676 115 92 19 4
2056 For your information, its titled "Concerto for Tubas in an elevator" By Otis 1.2348 0.04676 115 92 19 4
2057 We’re encouraging social distancing 1.2348 0.04337 115 90 23 2
2058 If you say "omm-pah pah" I'll kill you. 1.2348 0.04337 115 90 23 2
2059 Now sorry that he taught two tubas to toot. 1.2348 0.04337 115 90 23 2
2060 I told you live elevator music was a bad idea. 1.2348 0.04510 115 91 21 3
2061 You guys need to Cello Out! 1.2348 0.04836 115 93 17 5
2062 We are trying Einstein's Zurich trolley experiment with tubas. 1.2348 0.04836 115 93 17 5
2063 Sorry, we have one tuba many. 1.2348 0.04510 115 91 21 3
2064 Does this go to eleven? 1.2348 0.04676 115 92 19 4
2065 Surely, you speak in jest. 1.2348 0.04991 115 94 15 6
2066 Well you see, with this thing on no one wants to get within six feet of us 1.2348 0.04158 115 92 22 1
2067 I can’t even be ten pounds heavier than the last guy and he got a pair of flutists! 1.2348 0.04510 115 91 21 3
2068 The woodwinds are in the other elevator. The strings arrived earlier; and the conductor always rides up alone. 1.2348 0.04510 115 91 21 3
2069 Well this blows. 1.2348 0.04510 115 91 21 3
2070 You're going to need a mask. 1.2348 0.03773 115 91 23 1
2071 Sorry,only uninfected sousaphone players allowed in the elevator. 1.2348 0.04836 115 93 17 5
2072 Which way to Times Square? 1.2348 0.04510 115 91 21 3
2073 Sorry, , but it definitely helps with social distancing. 1.2348 0.04510 115 91 21 3
2074 Your money or we blow you up...3,...2,...1,...deep breath... 1.2348 0.04836 115 93 17 5
2075 Sorry guys I only play the piano 1.2348 0.04337 115 90 23 2
2076 According to the inspection certificate, it's safe to cram in two more Sousaphones. 1.2328 0.04475 116 92 21 3
2077 If you SBD in the elevator, we'll provide an appropriate sound. 1.2328 0.04798 116 94 17 5
2078 The other 74 are waiting on the 9th floor. 1.2328 0.05101 116 96 13 7
2079 For social distancing, these are second only to bagpipes. 1.2328 0.04798 116 94 17 5
2080 No. We're two sousaphones, not two buhs. 1.2328 0.04640 116 93 19 4
2081 The elevator bells are out of order... 1.2301 0.04705 113 91 18 4
2082 It was the only building with enough floors to fit the whole marching band. 1.2301 0.04534 113 95 13 5
2083 We take requests. 1.2301 0.04534 113 90 20 3
2084 Social distancing is going quite well. Why do you ask? 1.2301 0.04705 113 91 18 4
2085 We're just coming up for air 1.2301 0.04534 113 90 20 3
2086 It's how we enforce social distancing. 1.2301 0.04356 113 89 22 2
2087 Sorry. It only goes down. 1.2301 0.04356 113 91 19 3
2088 The concert season was cancelled so enjoy your new elevator muzak. 1.2301 0.04534 113 90 20 3
2089 I guess that's one way to social distance. 1.2301 0.04534 113 90 20 3
2090 Still think somebody farted in the elevator? 1.2301 0.04171 113 94 15 4
2091 You didn't need to play your tubas. I would have kept way more than a social distance just at the sight of them. 1.2301 0.05030 113 93 14 6
2092 There's no denying it now. She must be close. The fat lady. 1.2301 0.04705 113 91 18 4
2093 They help us social distance especially when we play. 1.2301 0.04534 113 90 20 3
2094 You wanted a wood 2x4? The message said, would you get Tuba on the floor ! 1.2301 0.04870 113 92 16 5
2095 It's the company's new live elevator music to ensure social distancing. 1.2301 0.04705 113 91 18 4
2096 Sorry, you'll have to wait. This elevator has a two tone limit 1.2301 0.04705 113 91 18 4
2097 Grab your tuba. We’ll wait for you. 1.2301 0.04870 113 92 16 5
2098 Our elevator music is now in stereo! 1.2301 0.04705 113 91 18 4
2099 Are you sure you want to risk getting stuck in an elevator with us? 1.2301 0.04171 113 91 20 2
2100 They are called Sousaphones. We will be playing your funeral dirge on them as we descend to hell. Oh yeah, and your dead, and these elevators only go down. Sorry bud. 1.2301 0.04870 113 92 16 5
2101 Sousaphones only. 1.2301 0.04534 113 90 20 3
2102 The bad news is the speakers are busted, no Muzak. Good news? We’re taking requests. 1.2301 0.04171 113 88 24 1
2103 I thought the bell ringing when the elevator comes annoying, but this...... 1.2301 0.04870 113 92 16 5
2104 Good morning Sir, In case you couldn’t tell We are the Saints We are marching in 1.2301 0.04356 113 89 22 2
2105 Were here for the Flatulence solo. 1.2301 0.03773 113 92 19 2
2106 Piccolo? 1.2301 0.05030 113 93 14 6
2107 Hi, Sir. May we interest you in some elevator music? 1.2301 0.04356 113 89 22 2
2108 Up or down...tempo. 1.2301 0.03558 113 92 20 1
2109 ''Come on in ,We will be getting off on floor 76 ." 1.2301 0.04356 113 89 22 2
2110 We are going between 7-6 looking for the trombones 1.2301 0.04356 113 89 22 2
2111 We’re just gonna blow off the concert. 1.2301 0.04705 113 91 18 4
2112 Welcome to the elevator concerts! Before you pass, the other option is accordians. 1.2301 0.04356 113 94 15 4
2113 Taking up the only elevator- you got a lot of brass!! 1.2301 0.04705 113 91 18 4
2114 We’re Siamese tubas- this IS our social distance.” 1.2301 0.04870 113 92 16 5
2115 You don't happen to play the piccolo... 1.2301 0.04356 113 89 22 2
2116 We’re scientists trying to determine whether the virus can be killed by sound waves. 1.2301 0.05030 113 93 14 6
2117 You’re going to need to back waaay up to get enough social distance from us, buddy. 1.2301 0.04705 113 91 18 4
2118 The top brass wouldn‘t take a meeting. 1.2301 0.04534 113 90 20 3
2119 Is this the 40-yard line? 1.2301 0.04870 113 92 16 5
2120 There's always room for a piccolo. 1.2301 0.04870 113 94 13 6
2121 We just practice here for the acoustics. You're welcome to join us. 1.2301 0.04171 113 88 24 1
2122 We are from New Orleans, brother 1.2301 0.04534 113 90 20 3
2123 With an iPhone all you can do is make calls and surf the net. 1.2301 0.04870 113 92 16 5
2124 We were hired by Don Cortino to blow you away. 1.2301 0.05030 113 93 14 6
2125 We're looking for Floor 2-buh. 1.2301 0.04705 113 91 18 4
2126 It's tubad there's no room in there. 1.2301 0.04870 113 92 16 5
2127 It’s the way tuba players do social distancing. 1.2301 0.04171 113 88 24 1
2128 No, get in while you can. There were 76 trombones behind us. 1.2301 0.04171 113 88 24 1
2129 Theme from 'Shaft'; duh! 1.2301 0.04870 113 92 16 5
2130 Please tell me you don't have a Cello. 1.2301 0.04356 113 89 22 2
2131 Next up: Flight of the Bumblebee! 1.2301 0.04705 113 91 18 4
2132 Is this OSU? We're hear for the "dot the i" tryouts 1.2301 0.04705 113 91 18 4
2133 Up-beat distancing! 1.2301 0.04356 113 94 15 4
2134 Your tickets are for the second movement 1.2301 0.04356 113 89 22 2
2135 Stereo 1.2301 0.04534 113 90 20 3
2136 Sure, we can honor your request, but "Flight of the Bumblebee" will only take you to the 10th floor. 1.2301 0.04534 113 90 20 3
2137 Is this the Tuba Players Convention Floor? 1.2301 0.04356 113 89 22 2
2138 We're going all the way down, I'm afraid. 1.2301 0.04171 113 88 24 1
2139 Are you going up or down an octave? 1.2301 0.04705 113 91 18 4
2140 Really unusual elevator music. 1.2301 0.04870 113 92 16 5
2141 We heard from Spielberg you were looking for a tuba duet for your next picture, and since we just happen to be in the elevator… 1.2301 0.04705 113 91 18 4
2142 We couldn't afford the Muzak fees. This is all original material." 1.2301 0.04870 113 92 16 5
2143 We do have an open spot in the strings section if you are interested. 1.2301 0.04705 113 91 18 4
2144 You're welcome to join, just know it's gonna be a bumpy ride. 1.2301 0.03558 113 95 15 3
2145 Count us as two for the census 1.2301 0.04705 113 91 18 4
2146 We got tired of elevator music. 1.2301 0.04870 113 92 16 5
2147 It's not every elevator that has live music. 1.2301 0.04356 113 89 22 2
2148 We only have a mezzanine seat left. 1.2301 0.04705 113 91 18 4
2149 Sorry, we're going down an octave. 1.2301 0.04356 113 89 22 2
2150 I take it you don't want my autograph. 1.2301 0.04171 113 88 24 1
2151 Brassholes! 1.2301 0.04534 113 90 20 3
2152 Get in, you look like you want to have the most uncomfortable elevator ride of your life. 1.2301 0.04705 113 93 15 5
2153 I used to play the trumpet, then 2016 happened. 1.2301 0.04356 113 93 16 4
2154 What other sousaphone player? 1.2301 0.04171 113 88 24 1
2155 It's my last day at the office and I decided to go out on a high note 1.2301 0.04171 113 88 24 1
2156 Sousaphones. Not tubas. Sousaphones. 1.2301 0.05030 113 93 14 6
2157 You're right. We really should be practicing Sousal distancing. 1.2301 0.04534 113 90 20 3
2158 Sorry. Trying to be uplifting takes a lot of room. 1.2301 0.04534 113 90 20 3
2159 It's all about that bass. 1.2301 0.04870 113 92 16 5
2160 Oh, Hello, you must be our new tenant. 1.2301 0.04705 113 91 18 4
2161 That's wierd on any level. 1.2301 0.04705 113 91 18 4
2162 Stereo is by request only, but you’ll have to tip the guy in back. 1.2301 0.04534 113 90 20 3
2163 It’s a bit windy in here. 1.2301 0.04705 113 91 18 4
2164 The elevator music is out so the super asked us to fill in. 1.2301 0.04705 113 91 18 4
2165 Hi. I'm John. My brother Philip. Have you seen Sousa? 1.2301 0.04705 113 91 18 4
2166 Until the elevator speakers are repaired we'll take requests for any of your favorite Muzak tunes. 1.2301 0.04534 113 92 17 4
2167 I can’t believe the clerk didn’t get our “room for two-ba” joke. 1.2301 0.05030 113 93 14 6
2168 This is not exactly Federal Guidelines for Covid-19, but management thought that it was a good way to limit the number of people in the elevator.We have tested negative, so for us this is just a gig. 1.2301 0.04171 113 88 24 1
2169 What genre of elevator music might you fancy today? 1.2301 0.04870 113 92 16 5
2170 This next song we’re taking straight to the top! 1.2301 0.04870 113 92 16 5
2171 We're so much better than the farting that usually goes on in here 1.2301 0.04705 113 91 18 4
2172 Sorry, trombones are on the fourth floor. 1.2301 0.04534 113 90 20 3
2173 We're what's left of the boys in the band. 1.2301 0.04534 113 90 20 3
2174 Well together these gave us our six feet of distance, but now what? 1.2301 0.04705 113 91 18 4
2175 Je suis foutu! 1.2301 0.04534 113 93 16 4
2176 Could you point us toward the wake? 1.2301 0.04534 113 90 20 3
2177 I see you are new to DC, this is a bullshit flotation device, young man. 1.2301 0.05030 113 93 14 6
2178 Tuba's?, or not Tuba's? That is your decision if your going to use this elevator. 1.2301 0.04870 113 92 16 5
2179 These were the last two super-sized rolls of toilet paper, so don't bother going down. 1.2301 0.04534 113 90 20 3
2180 Come on in. It's the newest thing in elevator music. The acoustics in here are amazing!! 1.2301 0.04870 113 92 16 5
2181 Are you ready to polka the night away? 1.2301 0.04534 113 90 20 3
2182 There’s even less room with the string section 1.2301 0.04534 113 90 20 3
2183 ...we were just looking for a little symphony, pal 1.2301 0.04534 113 90 20 3
2184 We’re taking requests; unfortunately, the rest of the orchestra is trapped on the cruise ship 1.2301 0.04356 113 89 22 2
2185 Great! We need your piccolo for proper balance. 1.2301 0.04356 113 91 19 3
2186 Care to be the guinea pig for our newest elevator music piece? 1.2301 0.04705 113 91 18 4
2187 Pardon us, the acoustics in here are wonderful. 1.2301 0.04534 113 90 20 3
2188 Acoustically, it's preferable to scaling the stairs. 1.2301 0.04171 113 88 24 1
2189 Sorry, we’re over the weight limit. 1.2281 0.04323 114 90 22 2
2190 We're going floor to floor playing inspiring music from 6 feet away - what would you like to hear in the next 15 seconds? 1.2281 0.04499 114 91 20 3
2191 Don't laugh; it makes social distancing really easy. 1.2281 0.04668 114 92 18 4
2192 Yes, that *is* a really large pair of binoculars behind us. 1.2281 0.04668 114 92 18 4
2193 Do you want to see how low we can go? 1.2281 0.04323 114 90 22 2
2194 Sousa Express 1.2281 0.04831 114 93 16 5
2195 But Why? Elevator music was just fine. 1.2281 0.04499 114 91 20 3
2196 Come on in, unless you hate elevator music. 1.2281 0.04499 114 91 20 3
2197 HR felt that a bit of elevator music would increase morale 1.2281 0.04499 114 91 20 3
2198 The bellboy is sick today, so I brought a tuba. 1.2281 0.04323 114 90 22 2
2199 And a One and a Two and.. 1.2281 0.04831 114 93 16 5
2200 We're just going out to give some air. 1.2281 0.04831 114 93 16 5
2201 It's Tuba Tuesday. 1.2273 0.04945 110 90 15 5
2202 I'm sorry but we don't take requests. 1.2273 0.04773 110 89 17 4
2203 Which floor is the CEO on? We're the top brass he sent for. 1.2273 0.04945 110 90 15 5
2204 Hi, we’re looking for the thirteenth floor tuba orchestra. 1.2273 0.04945 110 90 15 5
2205 They help us maintain proper social distancing. 1.2273 0.04945 110 90 15 5
2206 The fewer, the merrier. 1.2273 0.04595 110 88 19 3
2207 No Thanks, I'm waiting for the tuba players. 1.2273 0.04773 110 89 17 4
2208 Oom pah. 1.2273 0.04595 110 88 19 3
2209 ...and it blows your breathe away. 1.2273 0.04595 110 88 19 3
2210 Stand aside friend. We are the Tuba section of the Purdue University Alumni Band occupying the Seventh Floor 1.2273 0.04410 110 87 21 2
2211 ''woomp woomp'' I guess you'll have to wait 10 minutes for the next elevator. 1.2273 0.04773 110 89 17 4
2212 We were hired because the Muzak is not working. 1.2273 0.04217 110 86 23 1
2213 We only have room for a piccolo player. 1.2273 0.04595 110 88 19 3
2214 The pool isn't on this floor 1.2273 0.04773 110 89 17 4
2215 Sous-picious 1.2273 0.04595 110 88 19 3
2216 Phil, make room for the harmonica player! 1.2273 0.04410 110 87 21 2
2217 People are tired of recorded elevator music. 1.2273 0.04773 110 89 17 4
2218 Do you like elevator jazz, Mark? 1.2273 0.04595 110 88 19 3
2219 So sorry neighbor, we're still on the look for the proper home-based office spot. 1.2273 0.04595 110 88 19 3
2220 We're playing one floor at a time following the six foot rule. 1.2273 0.04945 110 90 15 5
2221 If you think wearing inner tubes is weird,wait till you see what the guy behind us is wearing. 1.2273 0.04945 110 90 15 5
2222 13th floor? 1.2273 0.04410 110 87 21 2
2223 So you see toilet paper in everything? 1.2273 0.05111 110 91 13 6
2224 Hey neighbor. You quarantined too? 1.2273 0.04595 110 88 19 3
2225 How to hyper spread Coronavirus 1.2273 0.04945 110 90 15 5
2226 We are still playing But keeping our social distance. 1.2273 0.04217 110 88 20 2
2227 Self-Quarantine, Please! 1.2273 0.03333 110 88 22 0
2228 They hired live musicians to ease people's anxiety on their way to work...favorite song? 1.2273 0.04595 110 88 19 3
2229 We don’t take requests. 1.2273 0.04410 110 87 21 2
2230 Oh, good. You play the kazoo... hop in!! 1.2273 0.04945 110 90 15 5
2231 Did you order two or three sousaphones? 1.2273 0.04595 110 88 19 3
2232 We were told the elevator music needed a bass section. 1.2273 0.04595 110 88 19 3
2233 That's one way to ensure appropriate distancing! 1.2273 0.04773 110 89 17 4
2234 Whoops, meant to go down a few octaves. 1.2273 0.05111 110 91 13 6
2235 Fair warning, we only play one song, "Dueling Tubas". 1.2273 0.04595 110 88 19 3
2236 Sorry, only Tubas at a time. 1.2273 0.04217 110 86 23 1
2237 It could be worse, we could be cello players" 1.2273 0.04014 110 87 22 1
2238 We play as it’s going down. 1.2273 0.04410 110 87 21 2
2239 I warn you. We only know Tubular Bells. 1.2273 0.04945 110 90 15 5
2240 Please come in. We can't reach the buttons. 1.2273 0.04217 110 86 23 1
2241 It was our last chance to hit number one. 1.2273 0.04773 110 89 17 4
2242 There's no Muzak here at Trump Tower! 1.2273 0.04595 110 88 19 3
2243 Muzak's elevator channel was down so here we are with live music. Going up? 1.2273 0.04945 110 90 15 5
2244 Stairs are for trumpet players. 1.2273 0.04773 110 89 17 4
2245 You called to ask for a Tuba legation. 1.2273 0.05111 110 91 13 6
2246 Our Flat is on E 1.2273 0.04410 110 87 21 2
2247 Forget it, buddy. They'll only sell them to you in pairs. 1.2273 0.03801 110 90 18 2
2248 NO MADAM, We are NOT headed to the pool! 1.2273 0.04410 110 89 18 3
2249 They really should have specified 8 PM! 1.2273 0.04773 110 89 17 4
2250 All right, I guess things can get worse. 1.2273 0.04410 110 87 21 2
2251 Thanks but I’m waiting on the woodwind elevator. 1.2273 0.04595 110 88 19 3
2252 You wouldn't believe how effective this is in maintaining social distance. 1.2273 0.04945 110 90 15 5
2253 We’re going down. Waaay down! 1.2273 0.04773 110 89 17 4
2254 There are 101 Cornets close behind! 1.2273 0.04595 110 88 19 3
2255 I know, right? 1.2273 0.04217 110 86 23 1
2256 Step on in, we have our elevator pitch already. 1.2273 0.04945 110 90 15 5
2257 With this baby, I can fart on the elevator with impunity. 1.2273 0.04410 110 87 21 2
2258 Mask? what mask? The Coronavirus will be blown away! 1.2273 0.04945 110 90 15 5
2259 We have questions for David S. Pumpkins. Is this his floor? 1.2273 0.04773 110 89 17 4
2260 'We're are stuck in this bloody elevator." 1.2273 0.04773 110 89 17 4
2261 You’ll have to wait for the next car if you want woodwinds. 1.2273 0.04595 110 88 19 3
2262 ...and that's how you make an entrance. 1.2273 0.04595 110 88 19 3
2263 We're trying to see how low we can go. 1.2273 0.04595 110 88 19 3
2264 This is what happens when you go all out on your video application. 1.2273 0.04595 110 88 19 3
2265 Hello, welcome to our elevator. For your musical enjoyment we will be playing John Phillips Sousa's greatest marches. [Lucie Casares] 1.2273 0.04410 110 87 21 2
2266 Melody or harmony? 1.2273 0.04595 110 88 19 3
2267 Take the next one. We’re contained in hopes of securing the bass line. 1.2273 0.04217 110 88 20 2
2268 So social distancing dictates that 2 men, 2 tubas means this car is full. 1.2273 0.04595 110 88 19 3
2269 Think of it as how nature would say “Take the stairs.” 1.2273 0.04595 110 88 19 3
2270 We're social media influenzas, going viral on YouTuba! 1.2273 0.04410 110 87 21 2
2271 Never fails, Tuba City has the best elevator music! 1.2273 0.04410 110 87 21 2
2272 We're headed to the Tubist Convention; Your instrument is your badge. 1.2222 0.04620 108 87 18 3
2273 The door's open at lobby, and the Show starts at 8. 1.2222 0.04804 108 88 16 4
2274 It’s like Muzak. But with tubas. 1.2222 0.04620 108 87 18 3
2275 This pandemic is making me feel uncomfortably close to you 1.2222 0.04229 108 89 16 3
2276 Sure, it’s a tad squeezy, but the acoustics are insane. 1.2222 0.04981 108 89 14 5
2277 We're the "new normal" version of elevator music. 1.2222 0.04229 108 85 22 1
2278 The stairs, if you please - the elevator is reserved for low brass. 1.2222 0.04620 108 87 18 3
2279 The building is improving their Muzak! 1.2222 0.04981 108 89 14 5
2280 We need a piccolo....is that a piccolo? 1.2222 0.04429 108 86 20 2
2281 We live in the apartment below you. Could you PLEASE stop that stomping? 1.2222 0.04804 108 88 16 4
2282 Yeah, it's elevator music for people who like oompah. 1.2222 0.04429 108 86 20 2
2283 Quick, before the doors close...think of a number be...” 1.2222 0.04981 108 89 14 5
2284 Take the stairs, dickhead. 1.2222 0.04981 108 89 14 5
2285 [extremely loud farting noise] that was, uhhhhh, that was the sousaphone 1.2222 0.04229 108 85 22 1
2286 When they said having two large honkers is helpful in an interview I’m not sure this is what they meant 1.2222 0.04620 108 87 18 3
2287 It was a tuba-for-one sale. 1.2222 0.04620 108 87 18 3
2288 There's plenty of room! What, you already have enough oompah in your life? 1.2222 0.04429 108 86 20 2
2289 Keeps people 6 feet away. 1.2222 0.04429 108 86 20 2
2290 The other residents asked for no Muzak. 1.2222 0.04981 108 89 14 5
2291 This elevator has live Oompa music. 1.2222 0.04229 108 87 19 2
2292 My dislike for elevator music is rising 1.2222 0.04429 108 86 20 2
2293 Call 911. This tuba has a gun to my back. 1.2222 0.04804 108 88 16 4
2294 I think I'll wait for the next one. 1.2222 0.03798 108 85 23 0
2295 Tuby dooby doo! 1.2222 0.05151 108 90 12 6
2296 Unemployment? 1.2222 0.04620 108 87 18 3
2297 Sorry, he broke wind. 1.2222 0.05151 108 90 12 6
2298 I still think we should have just Netflixed and chilled. 1.2222 0.04429 108 86 20 2
2299 Did you see a band march by here? 1.2222 0.04620 108 87 18 3
2300 Take the stairway and stay on the right side even if you are from Britain. 1.2222 0.04981 108 89 14 5
2301 Hum a few bars of Sousa's Liberty Bell for Tuba and we might let you in." Joan Cashel, Los Angeles, C 1.2222 0.04620 108 89 15 4
2302 Do you want to play the triangle? 1.2222 0.04229 108 85 22 1
2303 No,we are not a Hall & Oates cover band. 1.2222 0.04804 108 88 16 4
2304 don't worry, we'll use our inside voices 1.2222 0.04429 108 86 20 2
2305 Are there a bunch of guys in lederhosen on this floor? 1.2222 0.04981 108 89 14 5
2306 People just naturally keep back 6 feet. 1.2222 0.04019 108 86 21 1
2307 Are you not entertained? 1.2222 0.04429 108 86 20 2
2308 The acoustics are terrible. 1.2222 0.04981 108 89 14 5
2309 You don't want to know what's going to happen tomorrow. Remember, the first day was the flute. 1.2222 0.04804 108 88 16 4
2310 Please take the other elevator. The flutes, piccolos and the triangle player are on that one. 1.2202 0.04195 109 88 19 2
2311 If you’re more in the mood for piano, the freight elevator is to your right. 1.2202 0.04764 109 89 16 4
2312 These are the 2 new ventilators for the ICU on the 12th floor. 1.2190 0.04485 105 84 19 2
2313 They told us we would need a lot of brass to succeed in New York City. 1.2190 0.04684 105 85 17 3
2314 The acoustics in here are awesome! 1.2190 0.04485 105 84 19 2
2315 Sorry, the lobby sousaphone was out of order" 1.2190 0.04485 105 84 19 2
2316 We're substituting for Muzak today. 1.2190 0.04684 105 85 17 3
2317 Yeah, so just give me a call if you’re interested in becoming a member if Tubonic Plague. 1.2190 0.05238 105 88 11 6
2318 And now, for our elevator pitch. 1.2190 0.04684 105 85 17 3
2319 The accordion players are in the next elevator. 1.2190 0.04485 105 84 19 2
2320 More like sixty feet away ... 1.2190 0.04276 105 83 21 1
2321 We're keeping marching bands alive, one elevator at a time.” 1.2190 0.04485 105 84 19 2
2322 Sorry, It's Occupy Tuba Day. You'll have to walk up. 1.2190 0.05060 105 87 13 5
2323 The spittle is in the mouthpiece. 1.2190 0.04056 105 82 23 0
2324 Elevator music is now by request. 1.2190 0.04276 105 83 21 1
2325 Gee, I always thought it was a recording. 1.2190 0.04276 105 83 21 1
2326 Sorry,wrong floor. We’re the roof orchestra 1.2190 0.04056 105 82 23 0
2327 I missed the memo that it was bring your Tuba to work day. 1.2190 0.04056 105 82 23 0
2328 We're going places. 1.2190 0.04485 105 88 13 4
2329 Being with this band has its ups and downs. 1.2190 0.04684 105 85 17 3
2330 Good Boys Do Fine Always. We're going down to Always. 1.2190 0.04485 105 84 19 2
2331 We're on our way to make someone late. 1.2190 0.04876 105 86 15 4
2332 This is our unique approach to elevator music. 1.2190 0.04485 105 84 19 2
2333 guy: ill wait for the next elevator. there's no space. tuba men: there's plenty of space. guy: where I don't see any space. tuba men: hop in the tubas duh. guy: umm... I'm ok ill just wait. tuba men: suit yourself. 1.2190 0.03576 105 91 11 3
2334 We have to stay at least six feet from the trombones. 1.2190 0.04276 105 83 21 1
2335 The lobby is up an octave. 1.2190 0.04485 105 84 19 2
2336 Don’t you dare, or else we will clean our spit valves out 1.2190 0.04485 105 84 19 2
2337 2B or not TUBA ? 1.2190 0.04684 105 85 17 3
2338 Not gonna try to kiss, hug, or touch you; let me in the elevator. 1.2190 0.04684 105 85 17 3
2339 Quick! Which way to the restrooms? Preferably bidets. 1.2190 0.04684 105 85 17 3
2340 I'm sorry, there's no room. Unless you're a woodwind. 1.2190 0.04485 105 84 19 2
2341 You know you're in a classy hotel when they have live elevator music. 1.2190 0.04485 105 84 19 2
2342 We were exceeding capacity so our drummer left as a percussion. 1.2190 0.04684 105 85 17 3
2343 Come on…We’re gonna audio bomb the piano bar. 1.2170 0.04645 106 86 17 3
2344 Sorry, we've got one tuba many in here! 1.2170 0.04834 106 87 15 4
2345 Yes, they do resemble Sousaphones but they’re vortexes to another dimension. Want to go for a ride? 1.2157 0.04751 102 83 16 3
2346 Come on in. We can make roompha for you. 1.2157 0.04323 102 81 20 1
2347 "Can you help us find B flat? 1.2157 0.04542 102 82 18 2
2348 Sousaphone practice is on floors 4, 6, 8, & 10. 1.2150 0.04309 107 88 16 3
2349 That's fine I'll wait for the strings. 1.2136 0.04503 103 83 18 2
2350 it's the only place in New Orleans we could practice social distancing! 1.2136 0.04709 103 84 16 3
2351 We have a meeting upstairs with the top brass. 1.2136 0.04286 103 84 17 2
2352 For your information they are called social distancing devices! 1.2136 0.04709 103 84 16 3
2353 I'm sorry, this elevator is only for tubas. 1.2136 0.04503 103 83 18 2
2354 Hey Jim! We're headed up to the bosses office to quit with style, there's an extra tuba if you want in 1.2136 0.04709 103 84 16 3
2355 Can you direct us to the apartment where toilet paper is being exchanged for services? 1.2136 0.04503 103 83 18 2
2356 Our elevator music is not TUBAD! 1.2136 0.04907 103 85 14 4
2357 No, you take the melody. I can play just two notes. 1.2136 0.04503 103 83 18 2
2358 We can't play a note but it helps keep the right social distance 1.2136 0.04709 103 84 16 3
2359 Actually we're getting down. 1.2136 0.04286 103 82 20 1
2360 Come in. There's plenty of room-pa-pa. 1.2136 0.04907 103 85 14 4
2361 You think we're bad, the tympanists are on their way up. 1.2136 0.04907 103 85 14 4
2362 Was möchten Sie hören? 1.2136 0.04709 103 84 16 3
2363 That's one way to make sure strangers stay 6 feet away. 1.2136 0.04709 103 84 16 3
2364 Excuse me, which way to the nearest brasserie 1.2136 0.04709 103 84 16 3
2365 No room. There's a piano behind us. 1.2136 0.04709 103 84 16 3
2366 C'mon, there's enough room for more than a double bass. Hop in. 1.2136 0.04907 103 85 14 4
2367 People on the upper floors say we really put the "forever" in "Stars and Stripes Forever." 1.2136 0.04907 103 85 14 4
2368 Always room for one more in the tuba section. 1.2136 0.04286 103 82 20 1
2369 My god, not one but two full metal jackets 1.2136 0.04503 103 83 18 2
2370 Is this the Trump Tower? We’re whats's left of the marching band. 1.2136 0.04709 103 84 16 3
2371 We’re here to give you more Oomph! 1.2136 0.04709 103 84 16 3
2372 Come on in. 1.2136 0.04709 103 84 16 3
2373 Attention shoppers . . . 1.2136 0.05098 103 86 12 5
2374 John Philip Sousa, I presume? 1.2136 0.04286 103 82 20 1
2375 Going up then down then up then down, up, down, up, down... 1.2136 0.04709 103 84 16 3
2376 And now, our rendition of Aerosmith's 'Love in an Elevator' 1.2136 0.04709 103 84 16 3
2377 Do you play? 1.2136 0.04503 103 83 18 2
2378 Well don't just stand there, start polkaing! 1.2136 0.04503 103 85 15 3
2379 Stay home! 1.2136 0.04907 103 85 14 4
2380 My son and I have never had an issue with social distancing. 1.2136 0.04907 103 85 14 4
2381 Step right in if you're in the mood to get soused. 1.2136 0.04286 103 82 20 1
2382 Please hold your applause between movements. 1.2136 0.04286 103 82 20 1
2383 "Don't worry, the buttons have been disinfected." 1.2136 0.04907 103 85 14 4
2384 Stay 6 feet apart. 1.2136 0.04286 103 82 20 1
2385 Oh, thank God it's not John. 1.2136 0.05098 103 86 12 5
2386 I've always hated elevator music. 1.2136 0.04709 103 84 16 3
2387 We wanted to see how low this elevator can go. 1.2136 0.04503 103 83 18 2
2388 Can you play "Feelings" ? 1.2136 0.04503 103 83 18 2
2389 Up or downbeat?" 1.2136 0.04709 103 84 16 3
2390 You do social distancing your way, and we'll do it our way. 1.2136 0.04286 103 82 20 1
2391 The stairwell acoustics sucked. 1.2115 0.04864 104 86 14 4
2392 The musak was insufferable. 1.2115 0.04464 104 84 18 2
2393 We're the Tuba Twins ... hiding in plain sight. 1.2115 0.04250 104 86 16 2
2394 You look you’re swinging some brass. Hop in. 1.2115 0.04464 104 84 18 2
2395 Take the next one, it's just the triangle's. 1.2115 0.04864 104 86 14 4
2396 We’ll play you are sanitized song. 1.2115 0.04668 104 85 16 3
2397 Now the government is paying us to clear the streets. We don't rock, but the gig does. 1.2115 0.04668 104 85 16 3
2398 Do you like elevator music cover bands? 1.2115 0.04250 104 83 20 1
2399 They don't keep everyone distant, just girls. 1.2115 0.04464 104 84 18 2
2400 We’re trying anything to go lower 1.2115 0.04024 104 82 22 0
2401 You have earplugs? 1.2115 0.04668 104 85 16 3
2402 We got lost–looking for the mezzanine ... 1.2115 0.04864 104 86 14 4
2403 The hotel said this is the only area we could shelter in place 1.2115 0.04024 104 82 22 0
2404 We say “OOM!!“ You say “PAH“! 1.2115 0.04864 104 86 14 4
2405 We'll cover the sound. Pot pourri guys are on the next floor. 1.2115 0.04668 104 85 16 3
2406 This distraction provided by the NYSE as we all go down together. 1.2115 0.04250 104 83 20 1
2407 Yes neighbor, our four roommates also play the tuba 1.2115 0.04464 104 84 18 2
2408 Back up sir! We’re with the Bureau’ Of Social Distancing. 1.2115 0.04250 104 83 20 1
2409 Folks got tired of the same old elevator music. 1.2115 0.04464 104 84 18 2
2410 Ground floor. Time for our arrangement of "You Lift Me Up". 1.2115 0.04668 104 85 16 3
2411 I don't usually toot my own horn, so we switched 1.2115 0.04464 104 84 18 2
2412 I'll ride the next one 1.2115 0.04250 104 83 20 1
2413 Get your brass in here! 1.2115 0.04668 104 85 16 3
2414 Whatever happened to restrooms in the lobby? 1.2115 0.04464 104 84 18 2
2415 It really facilitates social isolation. 1.2115 0.04250 104 85 17 2
2416 Two tubas going to two, too. Come on in. Toot, toot. 1.2115 0.04668 104 85 16 3
2417 Sure we have fevers, coughs, aches, and fatigue, but hey, the show must go on, right? 1.2115 0.04864 104 86 14 4
2418 Sorry, the lift is full 1.2115 0.04464 104 84 18 2
2419 One day in Trumpet Towers... 1.2115 0.04668 104 85 16 3
2420 The next car has the wind. 1.2115 0.04668 104 85 16 3
2421 These help us social distance. 1.2115 0.04464 104 84 18 2
2422 Goin’ down, gettin’ funky. 1.2115 0.05234 104 88 10 6
2423 We just had a blast! 1.2115 0.05053 104 87 12 5
2424 What floor are the accordion musicians on? 1.2115 0.04864 104 86 14 4
2425 They enforce the 6 foot rule. 1.2115 0.04668 104 85 16 3
2426 Can we interest you in our Sousa-Distancing services? 1.2115 0.04668 104 85 16 3
2427 Mask? I thought it was Brass! 1.2115 0.04668 104 85 16 3
2428 Fucking coronavirus. 1.2115 0.04464 104 84 18 2
2429 I hate Tuba Tuesday. 1.2115 0.04668 104 85 16 3
2430 We're just a pair of socially-distancing you-tubas. 1.2115 0.04250 104 83 20 1
2431 We're looking for apartment D minor 1.2115 0.04668 104 85 16 3
2432 Would you take the next one please? She's horny. 1.2115 0.03255 104 87 16 1
2433 Herbie and I have been social distancing since high school. 1.2115 0.04464 104 84 18 2
2434 Is this the pool level? 1.2115 0.04668 104 85 16 3
2435 I think I can fit in. My Piccolo is in the bag. 1.2115 0.04668 104 85 16 3
2436 Tubas. Too big. Too bad. 1.2115 0.04250 104 83 20 1
2437 If you're going down we'll break out the slide whistle. 1.2115 0.04250 104 83 20 1
2438 We lost our Muzak Budget. 1.2115 0.04668 104 85 16 3
2439 oops . . . wrong floor. 1.2115 0.04668 104 85 16 3
2440 We’re looking for the blowhards 1.2115 0.04250 104 83 20 1
2441 Looking for 2B,eh? 1.2115 0.04864 104 86 14 4
2442 It's John Phillips Sousa until the fourth floor. 1.2115 0.04250 104 83 20 1
2443 It's only down from here. 1.2115 0.04668 104 85 16 3
2444 'Oopsie daisy, I farted" 1.2115 0.04864 104 86 14 4
2445 This is our rehearsal space until we receive our stimulus checks. 1.2115 0.04250 104 83 20 1
2446 There's r-oompah for one more! 1.2115 0.04668 104 85 16 3
2447 Crowded? Yes. But, you won't think about COVID. 1.2115 0.04668 104 85 16 3
2448 Washing your hands while singing 'Happy Birthday' fast? We came to set the tempo. 1.2115 0.05053 104 87 12 5
2449 The only gig we can get is playing elevator music. 1.2115 0.04464 104 84 18 2
2450 The conductor insisted our high notes get higher. 1.2115 0.04250 104 83 20 1
2451 Did you forget your social distance life preserver? 1.2115 0.04464 104 84 18 2
2452 YouTuba? No thanks, I’ll take the Nexlift and chill 1.2115 0.04668 104 85 16 3
2453 Scene from Tubatanic: “We’re going down.” 1.2115 0.04864 104 86 14 4
2454 Social Distancing Solution #18 "TU-BAd there is no room in this elevator" 1.2115 0.04250 104 83 20 1
2455 We got the last two social distancing horns." 1.2115 0.04668 104 85 16 3
2456 Don’t bother. The balconies are all full. 1.2100 0.04560 100 81 17 2
2457 We work for peanuts. 1.2100 0.04560 100 81 17 2
2458 You say you’ve got a piccolo in the bag? Okay, join us. 1.2100 0.04777 100 82 15 3
2459 You may wish to maintain 6 feet of separation, sir. 1.2100 0.04333 100 80 19 1
2460 Finally - Heavy Metal Elevator Music! 1.2100 0.04984 100 83 13 4
2461 What, you were expecting piccolos? 1.2100 0.04777 100 82 15 3
2462 We hope you love tuba duets as much as we do. 1.2100 0.04777 100 82 15 3
2463 We are oboe whisperers, they respond to us No worries 1.2100 0.04333 100 80 19 1
2464 If you stay at least six feet away, we won't play them. 1.2095 0.04426 105 85 18 2
2465 These are sousaphones. We have our marching orders. 1.2095 0.04426 105 85 18 2
2466 Haven't you ever heard of elevator music before? 1.2095 0.03754 105 86 18 1
2467 Oom-Pah-Pah or Dueling Tubas, your choice. 1.2095 0.04628 105 86 16 3
2468 We’re going to the bass man. 1.2095 0.04628 105 86 16 3
2469 We could use a lead singer. 1.2095 0.04628 105 86 16 3
2470 Not your father's elevator music. 1.2095 0.04214 105 84 20 1
2471 Never thought my first day at work would start like this... 1.2095 0.04214 105 84 20 1
2472 Two tubas to basement. Too bad. 1.2095 0.04426 105 85 18 2
2473 We'll lift your spirits. 1.2095 0.04214 105 84 20 1
2474 We disdain Musak. 1.2095 0.05008 105 88 12 5
2475 Going up an octave? 1.2095 0.04822 105 87 14 4
2476 I'll get the next one. 1.2095 0.04628 105 86 16 3
2477 I could offer my opinion. 1.2095 0.05008 105 88 12 5
2478 Sorry We wanted a quiet place to practice our music 1.2095 0.04822 105 87 14 4
2479 Smith on 18 is a real Sousaphonophile. 1.2095 0.04426 105 85 18 2
2480 We’re here for the Master Class in social distancing. 1.2095 0.04214 105 84 20 1
2481 We're reinventing elevator music. 1.2095 0.04214 105 84 20 1
2482 No chance mister. The rest of the band is getting on one floor below. 1.2095 0.04628 105 86 16 3
2483 No problem, we've got a spare. 1.2095 0.04628 105 88 13 4
2484 Prepare yourself 1.2095 0.04426 105 85 18 2
2485 The mariachi band was out sick and we were the only replacements for the corporate party. 1.2079 0.04734 101 83 15 3
2486 You will want to maintain 6 feet distance. 1.2079 0.04734 101 83 15 3
2487 Don't worry, there'll be room to ride up with flutists. 1.2079 0.04295 101 81 19 1
2488 Ah, there you are! 1.2079 0.04734 101 83 15 3
2489 Sorry, but this elevator is reserved for the big brass. 1.2079 0.04295 101 81 19 1
2490 At 5.99 feet, we'll blow you away! 1.2079 0.04295 101 81 19 1
2491 Hey buddy, we invented social distancing. 1.2079 0.04734 101 83 15 3
2492 At least they won't *hear* me fart 1.2079 0.04520 101 82 17 2
2493 You may now join the live stream. 1.2079 0.04520 101 82 17 2
2494 Tuba Tuesday 1.2079 0.04295 101 83 16 2
2495 Want to hear my elevator pitch? 1.2079 0.04058 101 80 21 0
2496 Did a matching band pass by you? 1.2079 0.04520 101 82 17 2
2497 You can sit in it if you like 1.2079 0.04520 101 82 17 2
2498 It was easier to get on. 1.2079 0.04520 101 82 17 2
2499 Come on in, we won’t play for tips! 1.2079 0.04939 101 84 13 4
2500 "You're the one that didn't want Muzak in the elevators. 1.2079 0.04734 101 83 15 3
2501 This is the bass-ment 1.2079 0.04734 101 83 15 3
2502 I think that this is as high as we can go! 1.2079 0.04520 101 82 17 2
2503 We're replacing the Manilow elevator music with Sousa. 1.2079 0.04295 101 81 19 1
2504 At least you won’t have to talk about the weather with us. 1.2079 0.04520 101 82 17 2
2505 No sir! They are NOT tubas, they are SOUSAPHONES! 1.2079 0.04520 101 82 17 2
2506 Can you believe it? We’re heading to a funeral. 1.2079 0.04939 101 84 13 4
2507 You may as well squeeze in: the guy with the timpani is taking the stairs. 1.2079 0.04520 101 82 17 2
2508 Social distancing made easy. 1.2079 0.05135 101 85 11 5
2509 We are still working on a way to mask the smell. 1.2079 0.05135 101 85 11 5
2510 Happy Birthday to you, happy birthday to you! 1.2079 0.04520 101 82 17 2
2511 Not six feet, but it certainly provides increasing distancing. 1.2079 0.04520 101 82 17 2
2512 Stand aside we're transporting Dolly Parton! 1.2079 0.04734 101 83 15 3
2513 We lost the trombone players. 1.2079 0.04939 101 84 13 4
2514 Well if it isn't our old friend, the agoraphobic Mr. Blumling! 1.2079 0.04734 101 83 15 3
2515 Staying 6,000,000 feet away from a tuba is the usual recommended guideline. We're so happy it's now only 6 feet. 1.2079 0.04734 101 83 15 3
2516 It’s better than the drummers’ car. 1.2079 0.04295 101 81 19 1
2517 Oh, that's why it's called tuba. 1.2079 0.04734 101 83 15 3
2518 When we play our tubas everybody keeps a social distance. 1.2079 0.05135 101 85 11 5
2519 Tax Assessor's Office? We do a wicked good Girl From Ipanema 1.2079 0.04058 101 87 11 3
2520 Sorry Bill, while you were away upper management changed the dress code aaaagain. 1.2079 0.04734 101 83 15 3
2521 's OK But Your Needed On An 18 Wheeler !! 1.2079 0.04734 101 83 15 3
2522 Where's your banjo? 1.2079 0.04939 101 84 13 4
2523 You’ll have better luck with the piccolo section- they’re next. 1.2079 0.04734 101 83 15 3
2524 Tubas are better in pairs and not on escalators or on stairs. 1.2079 0.04520 101 82 17 2
2525 We are social distancing enforcers. Please back up now or we blow. 1.2079 0.04939 101 84 13 4
2526 Don't tell me—you'd like to horn in, too, buddy? 1.2079 0.04520 101 82 17 2
2527 But... why? 1.2079 0.04520 101 82 17 2
2528 No. The piccolo convention was last week. 1.2079 0.04734 101 83 15 3
2529 Please listen—everyone else is outside watching the parade! You have to get us out of... 1.2079 0.04734 101 83 15 3
2530 We're in love. 1.2079 0.04520 101 82 17 2
2531 We’re going as low as you can go. 1.2079 0.04520 101 82 17 2
2532 We're a little done with marching. 1.2079 0.04520 101 82 17 2
2533 Sure there’s room, as long as you play saxophone. 1.2079 0.04520 101 82 17 2
2534 Sorry, we couldn't find masks for ourselves or the tubas. 1.2079 0.04520 101 82 17 2
2535 One of the company perks is live Muzak. 1.2079 0.04734 101 83 15 3
2536 Because Muzak got so boring" 1.2079 0.04520 101 82 17 2
2537 We’re heading to the Kennedy center , they got their money! 1.2079 0.04734 101 83 15 3
2538 Did you see the rest of the orchestra walk by? 1.2079 0.04939 101 84 13 4
2539 We now have live elevator music 1.2079 0.04734 101 83 15 3
2540 Yes Sir. Two sousaphones for the price of one is our elevator music pledge, going up or going down. 1.2079 0.04734 101 83 15 3
2541 Is this the floor for the Sanchez Bar Mitzvah ? 1.2075 0.04388 106 86 18 2
2542 Don't worry, we can lend you a tuba. 1.2075 0.04388 106 86 18 2
2543 It's like singing in the shower. 1.2075 0.04780 106 88 14 4
2544 So don't come in, then. Do we give a hoot? 1.2075 0.04388 106 86 18 2
2545 Be patient, the French horns will be along soon. 1.2075 0.04179 106 85 20 1
2546 Push the Down-The-Tubas button, please. 1.2059 0.04480 102 83 17 2
2547 Just here to help with your social distancing " 1.2041 0.04342 98 79 18 1
2548 I SAID, IT'S ELEVATOR MUSIC FOR THE DEFT! 1.2041 0.04802 98 81 14 3
2549 You know Jeff, there's more than one way to social distance. 1.2041 0.04802 98 81 14 3
2550 I can't believe we went to the wrong "heavy metal" convention. 1.2041 0.04802 98 81 14 3
2551 It’s Symphony Distancing. The piano’s in the lobby and the elevator to your right will feature a violin & cello when it reaches your floor. 1.2041 0.04577 98 80 16 2
2552 it encourages social distancing 1.2041 0.05222 98 83 10 5
2553 We thought a live marching band instead of the usual elevator music would give everyone a lift. 1.2041 0.04342 98 79 18 1
2554 Remember social distancing, fella. And where's your sousaphone? 1.2041 0.05016 98 82 12 4
2555 We got cut from the brass section again,so we need a good lift. 1.2041 0.04577 98 80 16 2
2556 ...abummp bummp bummp... Hey, it’s six feet pal! 1.2041 0.04342 98 79 18 1
2557 We've got room if your are a piccolo player 1.2041 0.05222 98 83 10 5
2558 The piccolos are real bullies! 1.2041 0.05222 98 83 10 5
2559 Now I know what you're thinking, "Tuba for elevator music?" 1.2041 0.04802 98 81 14 3
2560 Breaking wind on an Elevator, how original... 1.2041 0.05222 98 83 10 5
2561 It's called Uber Music. Look us up! 1.2041 0.04577 98 80 16 2
2562 "Sorry,this "boom pah pah" elevator is full." 1.2041 0.05222 98 83 10 5
2563 Don't even think about blaming your fart on one of our tubas. 1.2041 0.04342 98 79 18 1
2564 Gosh, when the pandemic ends, we should learn how to play these things. 1.2041 0.04802 98 81 14 3
2565 If you can’t get a face mask, try wearing a tuba...it’s good for social distancing 1.2041 0.04802 98 81 14 3
2566 The Muzak system is being repaired, so we're here taking requests." 1.2041 0.04092 98 80 17 1
2567 Thanks, but organists are the best at social distancing. 1.2041 0.04802 98 81 14 3
2568 I know, you were expecting a couple of cute, young violinists. 1.2041 0.05016 98 82 12 4
2569 Up-pah-pah! 1.2041 0.04577 98 80 16 2
2570 It ensures people keep their distance. 1.2041 0.05016 98 82 12 4
2571 We found copies of Beethoven's last movement! 1.2041 0.05016 98 82 12 4
2572 I'd get on now...the next car is full of accordions. 1.2041 0.04577 98 80 16 2
2573 We got separated... have you seen a marching band go by...? 1.2041 0.04802 98 81 14 3
2574 We're boomers, here for the big horny convention. 1.2041 0.04802 98 81 14 3
2575 Sorry you can’t get in. We’re Tuba distancing 1.2041 0.04577 98 80 16 2
2576 Aaaaahhh, aaaah, aaaaah, aaaah-chooo... That'll keep him out of the elevator for now. 1.2041 0.04342 98 83 12 3
2577 We need protective masks, gloves, and earplugs." 1.2041 0.04577 98 80 16 2
2578 Plenty of room if you play piccolo. 1.2041 0.04577 98 80 16 2
2579 Grassroots campaign. To increase public appreciation. 1.2041 0.04577 98 80 16 2
2580 Dinah, won’t you blow 1.2041 0.05016 98 82 12 4
2581 Fourth floor: Perfumery, haberdashery and sousaphones." 1.2041 0.04577 98 80 16 2
2582 No, things don't always happen in 3s. 1.2041 0.04802 98 81 14 3
2583 Sorry, you will not hear elevator music on your ride up 1.2041 0.04342 98 79 18 1
2584 We're twins who didn't get properly weaned. 1.2041 0.04577 98 80 16 2
2585 Surround sound 1.2041 0.05016 98 82 12 4
2586 I'm taking elevator music to a whole new level. 1.2041 0.05016 98 82 12 4
2587 Going up?" "No, decrescendo. 1.2041 0.05016 98 82 12 4
2588 maybe just take the other elevator 1.2041 0.05016 98 82 12 4
2589 Lemme guess. They didn't explain what being entubated means, right? 1.2021 0.04682 94 77 15 2
2590 These elevators are really adagio right now. Take the stairs, they're more vivace. 1.2021 0.04430 94 76 17 1
2591 I'm sorry, this elevator is for bass clef only. 1.2020 0.04758 99 82 14 3
2592 Who knew respirators are so noisy? 1.2000 0.04872 95 79 13 3
2593 Help! This giant frog's wrapped us up in his tongue! 1.2000 0.04637 95 78 15 2
2594 You're fired. Clean out your spit valve by the end of this week. 1.2000 0.04637 95 80 12 3
2595 You wouldn't happen to have a bassoon in that bag, would you? 1.2000 0.04637 95 78 15 2
2596 What? You don’t like elevator music? 1.2000 0.04637 95 78 15 2
2597 There's still room between the Um and the Pa Pa. 1.2000 0.04389 95 77 17 1
2598 We only have room for a piccolo. 1.2000 0.04389 95 77 17 1
2599 The acoustics are fatastic! 1.2000 0.04637 95 78 15 2
2600 How about the theme from Star Wars? 1.2000 0.04126 95 76 19 0
2601 Muzak Unplugged 1.2000 0.04872 95 79 13 3
2602 If you will just come in, that'll be exactly six feet." 1.2000 0.04637 95 78 15 2
2603 Yes, crescendo means going up... 1.2000 0.04637 95 78 15 2
2604 We were asked to lower our tone. 1.2000 0.04637 95 78 15 2
2605 Real sousaphones hang on your shoulder. These were half price. 1.2000 0.04637 95 78 15 2
2606 Did you order the sousaphones? 1.2000 0.04637 95 78 15 2
2607 Hey, where's your tuba? 1.2000 0.04872 95 79 13 3
2608 There's room for a harmonica player! 1.2000 0.04637 95 78 15 2
2609 Thank goodness / I have gas 1.2000 0.04637 95 78 15 2
2610 If I have to play the Jaws theme tune again Barney I'll pass out - can we let this one in? 1.2000 0.04872 95 79 13 3
2611 Guarantees social distancing. 1.2000 0.04872 95 79 13 3
2612 Can you tell us which floor John Philip Sousa lives on? 1.2000 0.05097 95 80 11 4
2613 Do you know what floor the umm-pa-pa convention is on? 1.2000 0.04637 95 78 15 2
2614 The elevator bell isn't working. 1.2000 0.04126 95 76 19 0
2615 We came to tell you don't show up tomorrow. 1.2000 0.05312 95 81 9 5
2616 Sorry, we need a sax player. 1.2000 0.04389 95 77 17 1
2617 Sorry. This elevator is only for the big brass. 1.2000 0.04872 95 79 13 3
2618 Don't look so shocked, there's seventy-four more to come down. 1.2000 0.04872 95 79 13 3
2619 They really didn't think this live elevator-music thing through. 1.2000 0.04637 95 78 15 2
2620 They help us in social distancing in tight spaces. 1.2000 0.04389 95 77 17 1
2621 Is this the Lido deck? 1.2000 0.04872 95 79 13 3
2622 There's plenty of room for a piccolo. 1.2000 0.04389 95 77 17 1
2623 There would be more of us but people only want to hear the blues. 1.2000 0.04637 95 78 15 2
2624 Take the stairs, we bumped into all the buttons. 1.2000 0.04872 95 79 13 3
2625 And now we'd like to do Flight of the Bumblebee 1.2000 0.04389 95 77 17 1
2626 Come on in, we'll make bass for you. 1.2000 0.04637 95 78 15 2
2627 You can't go lower. 1.2000 0.04637 95 78 15 2
2628 May we social distance you? 1.2000 0.04389 95 77 17 1
2629 We're your new next door neighbors! If you'd like to jam, please join us any night after dinner till lights out. 1.2000 0.04872 95 79 13 3
2630 SETI tuba rehearsal, friend. 1.2000 0.04637 95 78 15 2
2631 sorry buddy, no room, this guy just had to bring his huge binoculars with him! 1.2000 0.04872 95 79 13 3
2632 Our apologies . . . the banjo player is sick, today! 1.2000 0.04872 95 79 13 3
2633 You going up, down or waiting for the next elevator? 1.2000 0.04637 95 78 15 2
2634 It helps us with our social distancing. 1.2000 0.04637 95 78 15 2
2635 You're welcome to join us. 1.2000 0.04389 95 77 17 1
2636 Try the stairs; he next elevator has the string section, the one after that, the piano . . . 1.2000 0.04126 95 80 13 2
2637 Not until we finish the last few bars of 'Oskee-wow-wow!' 1.2000 0.04389 95 77 17 1
2638 (Present day trump tower) Oompa Loompa Doo Pah Dee Doo 1.2000 0.04872 95 79 13 3
2639 Fifth floor? Come on in, we're going to the deafness trade show. 1.2000 0.04389 95 79 14 2
2640 You know, you should social distance from each other, too, right? 1.2000 0.04389 95 77 17 1
2641 She’s got Bette Davis eyes... 1.2000 0.04637 95 78 15 2
2642 Trust me! Stairway to Heaven sounds much better in stereo. 1.2000 0.04389 95 77 17 1
2643 Are you taking requests? 1.2000 0.04872 95 79 13 3
2644 I never expected the Tuba Inquisition. 1.2000 0.04389 95 77 17 1
2645 The rest of the orchestra took the stairs. 1.2000 0.04637 95 78 15 2
2646 Is there room for a piccalo? 1.2000 0.05097 95 80 11 4
2647 We're the back-up band. Is this the Titanic? 1.2000 0.05097 95 80 11 4
2648 Elevator Blues for Tuba on one, two, three, four...hit it!" 1.2000 0.04637 95 78 15 2
2649 I think they ask right now that elevator occupancy be limited to two persons at a time. Sorry. 1.2000 0.04389 95 77 17 1
2650 Sorry, the New Yorker is not taking any more elevator music captions. 1.2000 0.04872 95 79 13 3
2651 May we suggest Flight of the Bumblebee in A minor for your ride this morning 1.2000 0.04637 95 78 15 2
2652 We're working on a new kind of elevator music that should be more lifting. 1.2000 0.04872 95 79 13 3
2653 No! Blow your own horn. 1.2000 0.04126 95 76 19 0
2654 Thanks anyway. I'd prefer to listen to fiddlers on my way up. 1.2000 0.04637 95 78 15 2
2655 Your belts look good but what's up with the Cannons? 1.2000 0.04637 95 78 15 2
2656 We accept tips for not playing your favorite tune on the way down. 1.2000 0.04126 95 76 19 0
2657 We gave up on the bagpipes. 1.2000 0.04872 95 79 13 3
2658 Well, yes or no? 1.2000 0.04637 95 78 15 2
2659 Did you happen to see a short guy with a sackbut? 1.2000 0.04872 95 79 13 3
2660 We're getting down to the bassment. 1.2000 0.04637 95 78 15 2
2661 We were to meet Joe Venuti if front of the building, but he did not show.” (True story, New Yorker, but lots more tuba players. Look it up. 1.2000 0.04126 95 76 19 0
2662 I need a new job. 1.2000 0.04389 95 77 17 1
2663 We're getting off this cruise ship before everyone croaks! 1.2000 0.04872 95 79 13 3
2664 Drop your wallet on the floor. Or you’ll get both barrels. 1.2000 0.04637 95 78 15 2
2665 Don't dream of shoehorning your way in here" 1.2000 0.04637 95 78 15 2
2666 I think I’ll exercise the 6 feet rule and wait for the next elevator. 1.2000 0.04637 95 78 15 2
2667 Rather loud way of declaring back-off". 1.2000 0.04637 95 78 15 2
2668 This is the only way you're allowed to ride the elevator. 1.2000 0.04389 95 77 17 1
2669 We're afraid there will be a run on them. 1.2000 0.04637 95 78 15 2
2670 Sorry,only room for piccolo players 1.2000 0.04637 95 78 15 2
2671 Social distancing is enforced in here 1.2000 0.04637 95 78 15 2
2672 By your face, it looks like you were expecting the Full Bar... 1.2000 0.04637 95 78 15 2
2673 I swear it was the tuba 1.2000 0.05097 95 80 11 4
2674 Boy, does this give a new meaning to elevator music 1.2000 0.04389 95 77 17 1
2675 We're waiting for John Philip Sousa to conduct us out of this elevator. 1.2000 0.04872 95 79 13 3
2676 It's a new category in the Guinness Book of Records. 1.2000 0.04637 95 78 15 2
2677 Yes, "Mulan" does have tubas. 1.2000 0.04872 95 79 13 3
2678 That's close enough, buster! 1.2000 0.04637 95 80 12 3
2679 Are you coming from the unemployment office? Is the wait long today? 1.2000 0.04637 95 78 15 2
2680 To be safe we must stay two Sousaphones apart. 1.2000 0.04389 95 77 17 1
2681 TUBAS ONLY! 1.2000 0.04872 95 79 13 3
2682 We did try the stairs. The tympani were blocking the way. 1.2000 0.04389 95 77 17 1
2683 Come on in, we're tonight's free elevator entertainment. 1.2000 0.05097 95 80 11 4
2684 Three’s a crowd, pal. 1.2000 0.04637 95 78 15 2
2685 It's this or Muzak. 1.2000 0.04637 95 78 15 2
2686 Wamp, womp! going down. 1.2000 0.04637 95 78 15 2
2687 We hope you enjoy elevator music. 1.2000 0.04389 95 77 17 1
2688 No,they're Sousaphones! 1.2000 0.04872 95 79 13 3
2689 The acoustics are exceptional. 1.2000 0.04872 95 79 13 3
2690 Take one more step and we'll blow you away 1.2000 0.04637 95 78 15 2
2691 Going up....and a two and three.... 1.2000 0.04637 95 78 15 2
2692 To be or not tuba. 1.2000 0.05097 95 80 11 4
2693 We hear there's a blowhard convention in the penthouse. 1.2000 0.04872 95 79 13 3
2694 Are we too late? 1.2000 0.04872 95 79 13 3
2695 No, I didn't bother googling what a sousaphone actually looks like, apparently. 1.2000 0.04637 95 78 15 2
2696 We are returning these respirators! 1.2000 0.04637 95 78 15 2
2697 Sorry sir, our notes are going down, down, down. 1.2000 0.03541 95 79 16 0
2698 We got too winded walking up and down the stairs." 1.2000 0.04637 95 78 15 2
2699 I don't think that was the tuba, I'll take the next one. 1.2000 0.04872 95 79 13 3
2700 One of Roald Dahl's less successful books: Charlie and the Great Brass Elevator 1.2000 0.04872 95 79 13 3
2701 Just come in slow, we won't blow 1.2000 0.04126 95 76 19 0
2702 We've found a natural way to enforce social distancing. 1.2000 0.04389 95 77 17 1
2703 I’ll wait for the strings. 1.2000 0.05312 95 81 9 5
2704 Is this too loud for elevator music? 1.2000 0.04872 95 79 13 3
2705 Sorry, this elevator's for the top brass only. 1.2000 0.04637 95 78 15 2
2706 The floor chime is out. 1.2000 0.04389 95 77 17 1
2707 Don’t be silly, there’s room for one more. 1.2000 0.04126 95 76 19 0
2708 Try the string elevator 1.2000 0.04389 95 77 17 1
2709 There's room for one more in Bob's souzaphone 1.2000 0.04389 95 77 17 1
2710 Your cardiologist has told you to use the stairwell going forward. 1.2000 0.04637 95 78 15 2
2711 Floor 1? and a 2 and a 1,2,3,4! 1.2000 0.04872 95 79 13 3
2712 It’s modern take on leper’s ringing a bell 1.2000 0.04637 95 78 15 2
2713 Sorry guys, pack it up: she said no. 1.2000 0.04872 95 79 13 3
2714 Hop in, I think we're neighbors. 1.2000 0.04637 95 78 15 2
2715 Two tubas apart = appropriate social distancing 1.2000 0.05097 95 80 11 4
2716 Sorry...but the "B" button was for Brass...not for Basement. 1.2000 0.04126 95 76 19 0
2717 The boss needs cheering up. Wanna join? 1.2000 0.04872 95 79 13 3
2718 Sorry, this one is being held for the pit section. 1.2000 0.04637 95 78 15 2
2719 Due to health concerns,the parade's being held privately on the tenth floor this year. You could join us,but it's no more than ten spectators. 1.2000 0.04637 95 78 15 2
2720 Elevator is going down to sub-mergers and aqua-sitions! 1.2000 0.05097 95 80 11 4
2721 Extra extra! The end of the world is coming. 1.2000 0.04637 95 78 15 2
2722 Live muzak - it's the latest, and we even get paid by those who tell us to shut up. 1.2000 0.04389 95 77 17 1
2723 That's right, stay back and wait for the next one" 1.2000 0.04637 95 78 15 2
2724 I am getting tired of this elevator music 1.2000 0.04872 95 79 13 3
2725 For most folks we meet, the six foot rule isn't enough. 1.2000 0.04637 95 78 15 2
2726 We're going down to see the top brass. 1.2000 0.04389 95 77 17 1
2727 We’ll be here all week.” 1.2000 0.04389 95 77 17 1
2728 Sorry, this is a duet only. 1.2000 0.04637 95 78 15 2
2729 I'm afraid we're the new normal for a flash mob. 1.2000 0.04389 95 77 17 1
2730 You got a problem with elevator music? 1.2000 0.04872 95 79 13 3
2731 We're looking for the bathroom. 1.2000 0.04872 95 79 13 3
2732 We'll make room, if you can play the trombone. 1.1979 0.04826 96 80 13 3
2733 Yousaphone? 1.1979 0.04593 96 79 15 2
2734 First time at this convention? Head to the fourth floor if you’re horny. 1.1979 0.04826 96 80 13 3
2735 Sorry sir, no more room - we're about to install the giant binoculars up on the observation deck. 1.1979 0.04348 96 78 17 1
2736 Has the parade been on this floor yet? 1.1979 0.04826 96 80 13 3
2737 The kind that you can march with a called a sousaphone. You called it a tuba. That is so embarrassing for you that you probably want to wait for the next elevator. 1.1979 0.04593 96 79 15 2
2738 The acoustics are great. 1.1979 0.04826 96 80 13 3
2739 Don’t worry, we fixed the Muzak. 1.1979 0.04593 96 79 15 2
2740 There's room for a piccolo player. 1.1935 0.04652 93 77 14 2
2741 This is the brass express. 1.1935 0.04897 93 78 12 3
2742 No, I didn't get the promotion dad. 1.1935 0.04394 93 76 16 1
2743 Tuba or not to Tuba? 1.1935 0.04652 93 77 14 2
2744 Did you bring your oboe? 1.1935 0.03825 93 80 11 2
2745 We're replacing Muzak. 1.1935 0.04394 93 76 16 1
2746 Technically they are Sousaphones, not tubas. 1.1935 0.04652 93 77 14 2
2747 The rock concert is in the staff elevator. 1.1935 0.04897 93 78 12 3
2748 Keep your distance, or else! 1.1935 0.04652 93 77 14 2
2749 Don't try to push my buttons, kid. 1.1935 0.04652 93 77 14 2
2750 This is the tuba lift. The shoulder brief lift is to your right. 1.1935 0.04394 93 76 16 1
2751 Brass on Pocket was the elevator music Stan had always been waiting for. 1.1935 0.04897 93 78 12 3
2752 No entry. This car is tubaed. 1.1935 0.04394 93 76 16 1
2753 This is the Tuba express. 1.1935 0.04897 93 78 12 3
2754 Sorry the elevator music is broken. We're the backup." 1.1935 0.05130 93 79 10 4
2755 We figured wearing these keeps people away at a safe social distance. 1.1935 0.04394 93 76 16 1
2756 It's elevator music, but elevated. 1.1935 0.04897 93 78 12 3
2757 We use elevators,