Contest #702


Cartoon

702

The winning captions

These captions are chosen by The New Yorker.

  1. “Could you trim the sides but leave it feathered on top?”
  2. “When you wear a baseball cap, everyone knows you’re just covering a bald spot.”
  3. “Just be glad I didn’t come here when I had a ponytail.”


Name Value
Submission deadline 2020-03-22T21:47:00.000Z
Voting started -
Voting ended 2020-04-05T22:20:00.000Z
Finalists announced 2020-03-30T21:51:00.000Z
Magazine(s) announcing finalists issued April 6, 2020
Number of captions 4770
Number of responses 883343
Number of participants -


Dashboard

In this table, the "mean" means the empirically measured average funniness score when the "unfunny", "somewhat funny" and "funny" receive a funniness score of 1, 2, 3 respectively. "Precison" is the standard error of the mean, the standard deviation of the mean estimate. With that, a caption with an empirical mean μ and precision σ has true mean in the range [μ - 2σ, μ + 2σ] with 95% probability by the 68-95-99.7 rule assuming the responses are indepedent and identically distributed.

Rank Caption Mean Precision Total votes "Unfunny" votes "Somewhat funny" votes "Funny" votes
0 You asked if I wanted product in my hair...and I said a smidgeon...a smidgeon, Ralph. 2.1894 0.00610 15489 3336 5907 6234
1 Could you trim the sides but leave it feathered on top? 2.0764 0.00651 12973 3152 5686 4125
2 I switched from Pantene to Dove 2.0672 0.00685 12567 3345 5036 4177
3 It started off as a lark. 2.0322 0.00683 12889 3716 5052 4113
4 Well, the good news is I finally got the monkey off my back. 1.9648 0.00718 11628 3740 4571 3313
5 That chair's not going to work. This is a stool pigeon. 1.9637 0.00736 11988 4149 4130 3702
6 We met in the park, we had a connection, now I can't get her out of my head.. 1.9633 0.00773 10294 3401 3885 3004
7 It definitely helps with social distancing. 1.9597 0.00730 10907 3442 4476 2984
8 Just be glad I didn’t come here when I had a pony tail. 1.9413 0.00796 10029 3519 3590 2916
9 I'm here for the early bird special. 1.9351 0.00771 10003 3363 3948 2687
10 Just a trim, and don't worry. The pigeon's not a carrier. 1.9272 0.00820 9313 3296 3402 2613
11 You were right; I’m a chick magnet! 1.9114 0.00864 8004 2830 3076 2092
12 I'm letting her shelter in place. 1.8993 0.00844 8172 2884 3248 2033
13 It was nice for a change, but let's just go back to a duck tail. 1.8829 0.00809 8333 2847 3626 1859
14 When you wear a baseball cap everyone knows you're just covering a bald spot. 1.8787 0.00892 7395 2695 2902 1790
15 Got her on the first day of Christmas. 1.8744 0.00846 8496 3208 3152 2131
16 You see it too? My psychiatrist said it's all in my head"... 1.8380 0.00938 6770 2663 2541 1563
17 Yes, just a shave. Why? 1.8366 0.00927 6738 2596 2649 1491
18 I guess I should have been more specific when I said I wanted a haircut to pick up chicks. 1.8269 0.00791 9544 3820 3550 2168
19 Just a smidgeon off the sides and a pigeon off the top. 1.8060 0.01065 5217 2176 1886 1149
20 Unfortunately, it’s a protected species 1.7880 0.00949 6500 2737 2403 1359
21 I loved what you did with my wife’s beehive. 1.7686 0.01166 4447 1978 1517 950
22 You're going to have to work around my emotional support animal. 1.7649 0.01091 4858 2121 1763 973
23 I guess it's still better than two in the bush. 1.7608 0.01273 3549 1551 1294 701
24 Try not to disturb the eggs. 1.7517 0.01218 3810 1685 1385 728
25 You remember that sunflower seed shampoo and conditioner you recommended.......... 1.7508 0.01081 4780 2097 1785 897
26 Can you spike my hair? So this doesn't happen again. 1.7493 0.01193 4092 1840 1437 809
27 I heard about your shop on Twitter. 1.7417 0.01203 4003 1824 1396 782
28 Thing is, they mate for life. 1.7355 0.01422 2786 1255 1015 516
29 Why are you holding your scissors like that? 1.7232 0.01365 3244 1570 1007 663
30 I'm the guy who said his hair looked like a real bird's nest on the phone. 1.7221 0.01322 3087 1386 1173 525
31 Coronavirus, huh? I'm still dealing with the bird flu! 1.6810 0.01205 3843 1878 1309 654
32 Hardly inconvenient at all, compared to my life after they hatch. 1.6781 0.01233 3557 1736 1235 582
33 Her flight was cancelled. 1.6777 0.01323 3255 1619 1063 571
34 The internet is down. 1.6745 0.01137 5437 3082 1028 1314
35 Can you get this man off my ass? 1.6721 0.01377 3437 1874 818 744
36 I’m ready to be an empty nester. 1.6695 0.01759 1779 888 594 297
37 Yes, I feed pigeons in the park. Why do you ask? 1.6636 0.01252 3466 1741 1159 566
38 The usual. 1.6553 0.01681 1970 1007 636 327
39 It helps with social distancing. 1.6505 0.01408 2741 1394 911 435
40 Leave the sideburns and just clip the wings 1.6481 0.01440 2336 1134 895 307
41 If possible, I'd like to keep it feathered. 1.6437 0.02196 1002 484 391 127
42 If you can get the breadcrumbs out, I think he'll leave on his own. 1.6248 0.01551 1975 985 747 242
43 Just a discrete little trim above the ears, I don’t want to ruffle feathers and get egg on my face. 1.6242 0.01550 2198 1150 721 324
44 Can you take a smidgeon off the sides and a pigeon off the top? 1.6224 0.01655 1965 1046 616 302
45 He's taken me under his wing. 1.6221 0.01609 1876 944 697 235
46 Can you make me less attractive to chicks? 1.6215 0.01670 1955 1055 590 310
47 Just a trim. Leave the nest. 1.6180 0.01641 1903 988 650 263
48 Don't worry, he's not a carrier. 1.6173 0.01708 1730 896 600 233
49 My last barber didn’t quite understand what I meant by ‘feathering.’ 1.6165 0.01592 1901 961 705 233
50 What's your partridge-in-a-hair fee? 1.6131 0.01868 1623 894 461 267
51 Actually, I'd like to look less statuesque. 1.6084 0.01849 1591 866 482 243
52 It's on the endangered species list, so you'll have to work around it. 1.6015 0.01796 1498 784 529 185
53 Short back and sides - and feathered on top. 1.5992 0.01860 1467 784 487 196
54 If President Trump gets a haircut with that thing in his hair, why can't I. 1.5988 0.02081 1311 743 352 216
55 It works fine until hunting season. 1.5978 0.01981 1340 730 419 191
56 Why yes, I am single, how could you tell? 1.5975 0.02023 1292 705 400 186
57 I don't care. Just wing it. 1.5967 0.01902 1334 699 474 161
58 Did you get my tweet? 1.5927 0.02020 1225 667 394 164
59 Give this man a haircut and put it on my bill. 1.5926 0.02105 1264 716 347 201
60 I thought you said you'd leave just a smidgen on top. 1.5904 0.02022 1294 723 381 190
61 Shampoo, perm and conditioning please. And just a shave for me. 1.5893 0.02014 1220 660 403 157
62 She has been trying to hatch my bald spot for about a week now! 1.5875 0.02113 1217 690 341 186
63 Don’t be concerned. The pigeon’s not a carrier. 1.5863 0.02088 1216 679 360 176
64 It's an old Manhattan Indian trick to hide balding, they call it the Trump Nest. 1.5849 0.02213 1190 696 292 202
65 It keeps me from touching my face. 1.5846 0.02472 869 486 258 125
66 Look Dave, I'm telling you, it works. Coronavirus shmoronavirus, Face masks, hand sanitizer, nonsense, walk around with a head bird and no one will get near you. 1.5826 0.02095 1138 623 368 147
67 Nothing drastic, just a little less plumage. 1.5822 0.02847 584 311 206 67
68 He'd like it a little neater on top so he can invite someone over. 1.5799 0.02147 1114 622 337 153
69 ... and kind of feathered on the sides, I guess. 1.5778 0.02157 1092 605 343 144
70 I said mo-HAWK. 1.5768 0.02194 1042 575 333 134
71 I’ve been sheltering in place so long, he thinks I’m a statue. 1.5746 0.02196 1039 575 329 132
72 It's a faux hawk. 1.5706 0.02272 985 562 282 137
73 Yes, I do have flyaway hair. 1.5704 0.02258 980 553 298 129
74 You must be the early bird booking. Take a seat, sir. 1.5686 0.02255 948 520 315 112
75 But you'd let a service dog in? 1.5683 0.02300 901 493 304 104
76 You may want to put some newspaper on the floor. 1.5678 0.02245 958 530 313 115
77 I call it “Hair BnB.” 1.5644 0.02333 900 504 285 111
78 Can we get the early bird discount? 1.5633 0.02298 900 496 301 103
79 Be extra careful around the bird. I can’t find my way home without him. 1.5633 0.02359 900 510 274 116
80 The usual: short on the sides and feathered on top. 1.5626 0.02356 887 497 281 109
81 It's worth three in the bush. 1.5604 0.02443 869 500 251 118
82 It's not a pigeon, it's called a "Man Dove". 1.5598 0.02396 861 488 265 108
83 Yes, it's been a while. 1.5595 0.02413 865 492 262 111
84 This wasn't exactly what I meant when I said I wanted my haircut to attract the chicks... 1.5581 0.02476 844 487 243 114
85 He's sheltering in place, so nothing off the top. 1.5533 0.02502 797 456 241 100
86 It's kind of the opposite of being pigeon toed. 1.5528 0.02529 796 460 232 104
87 He's been there since the shelter in place order. 1.5527 0.02475 778 447 236 95
88 I like the top. If you could just feather the sides. 1.5523 0.02344 775 416 290 69
89 It’s a combing pigeon. 1.5514 0.02591 740 424 224 92
90 I can't part with it. 1.5492 0.02634 732 425 212 95
91 I’m his emotional support human. 1.5470 0.02623 744 435 211 98
92 I know, but we need the eggs. 1.5463 0.02586 734 423 220 90
93 Can you feather it a bit in back? 1.5463 0.02579 734 421 225 88
94 I've been cooped up at home. 1.5423 0.02586 686 386 228 72
95 You should have seen the cowlick. 1.5418 0.02712 705 418 192 95
96 I would, but I need the eggs. 1.5418 0.02636 694 399 214 81
97 Just the sides. He's sheltering in place. 1.5417 0.02639 696 401 213 82
98 No, this is the barber-shop ... the psychiatrist is next door 1.5414 0.02671 665 380 210 75
99 Don’t cut it too short around the nest. I don’t want to end up with egg on my face. 1.5391 0.02782 677 405 179 93
100 Remember us? 1.5391 0.02725 653 378 198 77
101 Well...I guess it’s better than a rat’s nest. 1.5390 0.02686 666 384 205 77
102 Are we keeping the bird? 1.5390 0.02672 679 393 206 80
103 Can you cut around it? We need the eggs 1.5371 0.02710 661 384 199 78
104 The regular, Frank....just a quick smidgeon off the pigeon. 1.5348 0.02780 647 382 184 81
105 Do you offer any kind of an early-bird special? 1.5342 0.02737 644 374 194 75
106 A little birdie told me I need a haircut. 1.5331 0.02823 634 377 176 81
107 This is an improvement. My hair has always been a rat’s nest. 1.5330 0.02781 636 374 185 77
108 I was thinking along the lines of a buzz cut, but I don't want to ruffle any feathers. 1.5321 0.02738 624 360 196 68
109 It's not what I had in mind when I asked for a feathered look. 1.5321 0.02700 624 356 204 64
110 Yeah I know it looks ridiculous but I’ve been cooped up like everyone else. 1.5313 0.02741 623 360 195 68
111 When your name is Frank Capistrano you get this every Spring. 1.5306 0.02869 605 359 171 75
112 It's called nesting in place. 1.5304 0.02775 592 339 192 61
113 I have fly-away hair. 1.5300 0.02779 600 347 187 64
114 Just the usual preening today, Joe. 1.5298 0.02664 604 338 212 54
115 On the other hand, no one notices that I am bald 1.5291 0.02813 584 337 185 62
116 Been a while since your last cut. Last time it was still an egg. 1.5280 0.02817 589 342 183 64
117 Just enough so that I look less like a pear tree. 1.5264 0.02845 587 344 177 66
118 Just make sure I don’t walk out of here with egg on my face. 1.5263 0.02848 589 346 176 67
119 Just some light preening for now. 1.5251 0.03371 358 198 132 28
120 We're very close, but we rarely see eye to eye. 1.5222 0.03080 517 309 146 62
121 If you think this is bad, you should see my brother! He's got a real rat's nest going! 1.5211 0.03242 426 246 138 42
122 Just clean up the sides and leave enough on the top to keep the eggs warm. 1.5207 0.02866 555 323 175 57
123 This is not what I had in mind when I asked you to give me a haircut that attracts chicks 1.5206 0.02936 534 312 166 56
124 I'm sorry I have to say it, Terry, but this is slightly more noticeable than your bald spot 1.5205 0.02928 536 313 167 56
125 Can I reschedule my appointment? We're still waiting for the eggs to hatch. 1.5191 0.02819 549 315 183 51
126 It was either this or a comb over. 1.5191 0.02735 549 320 177 50
127 It's not so bad--last year I had an operation to remove the monkey from my back. 1.5177 0.02948 537 317 162 58
128 Be careful, she's pretty protective. 1.5150 0.02966 499 289 163 47
129 When you're done with the bird watching, I'd like a haircut. 1.5149 0.03055 503 299 149 55
130 The ornithologist recommended you! 1.5136 0.03073 516 312 143 61
131 It's very effective at keeping people six feet away. 1.5127 0.02994 511 302 156 53
132 Don't mind the twigs - we're expecting. 1.5119 0.03055 506 303 147 56
133 Go easy on the top, she’s a flight risk. 1.5118 0.03155 467 278 139 50
134 Nothing drastic, just a smidgeon off the sides and a pigeon off the top. 1.5105 0.03234 474 290 126 58
135 Just trim the sides for now. I'll get the rest done when he flies South for the winter." 1.5092 0.03033 487 290 146 48
136 You can’t or you won’t? 1.5077 0.03287 453 277 122 54
137 Mom says, not everyone’s brain is this obvious. 1.5072 0.03313 487 309 109 69
138 Well, I did ask for a style that attracted chicks. 1.5063 0.02979 480 279 159 42
139 His name is Mo and he wants to look like a hawk. 1.5022 0.03207 454 280 122 52
140 Just a trim, I need to return a message in 10 minutes. 1.5022 0.03166 462 278 134 49
141 Can you make it look less like a bird's nest this time? 1.5022 0.03166 462 279 134 49
142 A little bird told me you're the best in town. 1.5011 0.03108 449 265 143 40
143 Meet Elias, my emotional support pigeon. 1.5011 0.03100 457 271 143 43
144 I said a smidgen off the sides and a pigeon off the top 1.5011 0.03295 457 284 117 56
145 It seems to help with social distancing. 1.5000 0.03165 444 265 136 43
146 I'm Batman, and she's Robin. 1.5000 0.03288 450 278 119 53
147 We have a deal: I give her all the clippings she needs for her nest, and she doesn’t poop on my head. 1.5000 0.03067 454 267 147 40
148 A little off the top and feather the sides. 1.4989 0.03149 447 267 137 43
149 Can you do anything with my fly-away hair? 1.4989 0.03228 441 267 128 46
150 I met her on Twitter. 1.4977 0.03244 444 271 125 48
151 If fixing this isn't an essential service,I don't know what is 1.4977 0.03085 442 272 125 45
152 I was thinking more of a ducktail. 1.4966 0.03260 441 270 123 48
153 She'd like you to feather her nest. 1.4966 0.03276 441 271 121 49
154 Can you take a little something off the top? 1.4966 0.03174 439 263 134 42
155 That's not exactly what I meant when I said I wanted it feathered. 1.4966 0.03162 435 259 136 40
156 Well, as you can tell, my last haircut was for the birds. 1.4966 0.03341 435 270 114 51
157 Ok, let's see if you're better than the last guy. I told him that I wanted short back and sides, with a SMIDGEON left on top. 1.4965 0.03217 431 263 123 43
158 It's less obvious than a comb over. 1.4954 0.03184 434 260 133 41
159 He's got the bill. 1.4954 0.03161 432 257 136 39
160 Except for being cooped up I’ve been fine! 1.4941 0.03221 427 261 120 44
161 Are you sure this covers the bald spot? 1.4941 0.03065 423 245 147 31
162 I think he makes me look statuesque. 1.4941 0.03340 421 259 116 46
163 I started a Hair BNB. 1.4929 0.03356 424 263 113 48
164 And that's when I said to myself, 'Josh, you need a haircut'. 1.4929 0.03300 422 258 120 44
165 My last barber had a different interpretation of the 'feathered' look. 1.4917 0.03289 421 257 121 43
166 She’s a homing pigeon; I’m directionally challenged. 1.4915 0.03382 411 254 112 45
167 How about a style that makes me look less like a statue? 1.4904 0.03352 416 257 114 45
168 It covers the bald spot perfectly and I quite enjoy the company. 1.4904 0.03317 416 255 118 43
169 It's my therapy pigeon. 1.4901 0.03394 406 251 111 44
170 I 'm tired of the bird's nest. Let's try a bee hive this time. 1.4901 0.03210 406 241 131 34
171 Chicks love it. 1.4890 0.03394 409 254 110 45
172 When I said I wanted my hair to be feathered, this isn't exactly what I meant. 1.4890 0.03268 409 247 124 38
173 She's my social distancing support animal. 1.4882 0.03615 381 242 92 47
174 It's still worth two in the bush! 1.4876 0.03419 402 250 108 44
175 It's symbiosis at its best, Ralph. No bald spot for me and she gets a nest. 1.4876 0.03308 402 244 120 38
176 He'd like a little more leg room. 1.4874 0.03267 396 237 125 34
177 For the most part we’re nesting at home, why do you ask? 1.4872 0.03250 392 233 127 32
178 You do topiary? 1.4866 0.03444 374 228 110 36
179 All the kids are doing it. They call it the pullet. 1.4863 0.03407 401 249 109 43
180 He’s great for social distancing. 1.4862 0.03326 399 243 118 38
181 When you do the trim, could you change the newspaper? 1.4862 0.03382 399 246 112 41
182 Oh, he’s a softie. The hard part will be the two birds in my bush. 1.4861 0.03577 397 255 91 51
183 Thank you for not laughing. She's very sensitive. 1.4855 0.03512 379 236 102 41
184 It all started with an attempted coo. 1.4848 0.03401 396 245 110 41
185 What hat? 1.4848 0.03356 394 241 115 38
186 Maybe you could feather it a little bit? 1.4848 0.03337 394 240 117 36
187 I won't even tell you where he nests in the winter. 1.4833 0.03689 360 229 88 43
188 I specifically asked for a mo-HAWK. 1.4832 0.03683 387 253 81 53
189 Short on the sides, and feather the top. 1.4818 0.03458 384 239 105 40
190 Make it look like an accident. 1.4818 0.03555 384 244 95 45
191 That’s right. I did come in last month with a rat’s nest. 1.4818 0.03458 384 239 105 40
192 What can you recommend for Male Pattern Bird’s nest? 1.4817 0.03451 382 237 106 39
193 Trim the sides, and feather the top. 1.4817 0.03411 382 235 110 37
194 I'm torn between looking neat and preserving established breeding habitats. 1.4817 0.03530 382 241 98 43
195 Maybe it makes me look TOO statuesque? 1.4817 0.03471 382 238 104 40
196 My wife says it’s good practice for when I get a statue erected in my honor. 1.4802 0.03551 379 240 96 43
197 I just need you to take a little something off the top. 1.4801 0.03464 377 234 105 38
198 Leave enough on top for the chicks. 1.4795 0.03589 365 230 95 40
199 We’re both waiting for the restaurants to re-open. 1.4784 0.03448 370 228 107 35
200 Don't take too much off the top. She's due to migrate in a couple of weeks. 1.4784 0.03362 370 224 115 31
201 Well, this isn’t exactly what I had in mind when I asked for the feathered look. 1.4753 0.03217 364 214 127 23
202 ...but it’s worth 2 in the bush. 1.4753 0.03574 364 230 95 39
203 Can I get a pluck and shave? 1.4750 0.03404 360 219 111 30
204 I'd shoo her off, but I need the eggs. 1.4749 0.03486 358 221 104 33
205 Just wing it... 1.4735 0.03653 359 230 88 41
206 It's endangered, so you will need to cut around it 1.4735 0.03545 359 225 98 36
207 Just a little trim around the hedges. 1.4735 0.03478 359 222 104 33
208 This is so much better than the rat's nest it used to be. 1.4731 0.03474 353 217 105 31
209 It's called Hair B&B. I rent out my bald spot; he gets to live like a local. 1.4731 0.03633 353 224 91 38
210 Careful, he might be a carrier. 1.4731 0.03566 353 221 97 34
211 No, I do not have a chicken on my head. That would be ridiculous. This is a pigeon. 1.4726 0.03564 347 216 98 33
212 Apparently he's sheltering in place. 1.4723 0.03497 343 210 104 29
213 Do you have anything for flyaway hair? 1.4718 0.03440 337 203 109 25
214 What can you do for flyaway hair? 1.4718 0.03516 337 206 103 28
215 How about $7.50 and two eggs? 1.4716 0.03550 352 220 98 34
216 Try not to ruffle any feathers 1.4713 0.03462 348 213 106 29
217 Could you just take a little something off the top? 1.4713 0.03340 348 208 116 24
218 The final exam at Barber's College was more than Phil had prepared for. 1.4706 0.04072 289 186 70 33
219 Just a trim until they hatch. 1.4697 0.03610 347 219 93 35
220 You want it crested, tufted or feathered? 1.4692 0.03560 341 212 98 31
221 Since I saved her from the Avian flu, she said she's with me on this one. 1.4692 0.03462 341 208 106 27
222 She landed just after the shelter in place order was issued. 1.4688 0.03639 337 211 92 33
223 Is it my tern? 1.4685 0.03719 333 212 86 35
224 What happened to the iguana? 1.4675 0.03773 338 219 80 39
225 I’d like to make an appointment for say, late spring? 1.4673 0.03522 336 207 101 28
226 Twitter's down, so I'm Tweeting old school. 1.4673 0.03622 336 211 93 32
227 I can't wait for the part where you ask what's new in my life. 1.4667 0.03541 330 203 100 27
228 At first I didn't like him, but he's growing on me 1.4667 0.03381 330 197 112 21
229 I don’t know, toupees are so obvious 1.4661 0.04420 221 138 63 20
230 Thanks for fitting me in, Hank. I fly south for the winter next week. 1.4657 0.03504 335 204 102 27
231 Sorry, I had to come back. You asked me if this was fine, and you know what? It's not fine. 1.4653 0.03831 331 216 76 39
232 So, when you say I should try putting "moose" in my hair . . . 1.4646 0.03734 325 207 85 33
233 You'd be surprised what a chick magnet he is! 1.4642 0.03636 321 200 93 28
234 A little birdie told me it was time for a haircut. 1.4636 0.03540 330 209 91 30
235 We do not sit, Sir. We perch. 1.4634 0.03502 328 201 102 25
236 I'd trade it for two in the bush. 1.4634 0.03633 328 206 92 30
237 This isn't what I meant by a fauxhawk. 1.4633 0.03943 313 205 71 37
238 It's better then combing over the bald spot. 1.4630 0.03742 324 207 84 33
239 Can you do the sides short and the top feathered? 1.4630 0.03612 324 202 94 28
240 I'd like a cut that will attract something more colorful - like a goldfinch. 1.4630 0.03941 324 215 68 41
241 Do you have anything for male pattern bird nest? 1.4615 0.03940 299 193 74 32
242 On the bright side, he covers my bald spot. 1.4613 0.03672 323 204 89 30
243 I let it go a little longer than usual. 1.4611 0.03635 321 201 92 28
244 Yah, it has been a while. 1.4611 0.03689 321 203 88 30
245 How about something the chicks will like. 1.4611 0.03767 321 206 82 33
246 It's been sheltering in place since the last avian pandemic. 1.4611 0.03793 321 207 80 34
247 Really? Then you probably can’t do anything about “crow’s feet” either... 1.4611 0.03793 321 207 80 34
248 Yeah it might look strange, but the chicks love it 1.4611 0.03662 321 202 90 29
249 It’s a fledgling business, Dad. 1.4611 0.03609 321 200 94 27
250 I have a message for you. 1.4608 0.03705 319 202 87 30
251 Covers the bald spot but requires a fair amount of maintenance. 1.4608 0.03705 319 202 87 30
252 No, I'm actually here for a shave. 1.4603 0.03797 302 191 83 28
253 I would like to have an early bird discount, please. 1.4601 0.03782 276 169 87 20
254 I recommend a light hairspray to prevent fly aways. 1.4591 0.03713 318 202 86 30
255 A little bird told me you're cheap. 1.4583 0.03736 312 198 85 29
256 I just got your message 1.4583 0.03872 312 203 75 34
257 Trust me. You hide the scissors, he'll go back on the chair 1.4582 0.03910 299 193 75 31
258 I’ll have a shave and a preen. 1.4569 0.03530 313 191 99 22
259 I’ve got big ideas for the business, Dad. 1.4566 0.03716 311 197 86 28
260 No, I said just take a smidgen off the top!" 1.4563 0.03926 309 203 71 35
261 Bald spot? What bald spot? 1.4563 0.03677 309 194 89 26
262 Just a little off the sides and some fresh newspaper. 1.4563 0.03648 309 193 91 25
263 The company and warmth are fine. It's the white stripes down my back. 1.4563 0.03817 309 199 79 31
264 Yes, I know about it. I also have a frog in my underwear. 1.4560 0.03944 307 202 70 35
265 Style? I dunno. Just wing it. 1.4557 0.03710 305 192 87 26
266 Maybe we should give the comb-over one more try. 1.4557 0.03710 305 192 87 26
267 I used Dove, as you had recommended... 1.4557 0.03592 305 188 95 22
268 I really need a haircut, but my family loves the eggs. 1.4557 0.03710 305 192 87 26
269 I'm looking for a less outdoorsy-look. 1.4557 0.03532 305 186 99 20
270 Don’t disturb the pigeon. It’s Sheltering in Place. 1.4557 0.03768 305 194 83 28
271 My usual scissor cut, short around the sides . . . but this time can you get rid of the ducktail? 1.4557 0.03825 305 196 79 30
272 So.... feathered? 1.4557 0.03825 305 196 79 30
273 He helped with the lice at first, but now it's turned into a problem of its own. 1.4557 0.03710 305 192 87 26
274 Habitat destruction is not a joke. 1.4548 0.03822 299 191 80 28
275 It's still Two for One Tuesday, right? 1.4548 0.03763 299 189 84 26
276 Can you believe it? Helen and I just started empty nesting and then this 1.4548 0.03672 299 186 90 23
277 Shelter in place” was a little stricter than I thought. 1.4542 0.03672 306 192 89 25
278 It's my comfort pigeon 1.4536 0.03646 302 188 91 23
279 I said a mullet, not a pullet. 1.4536 0.03736 302 191 85 26
280 I don’t trust cellphones. 1.4533 0.03693 300 188 88 24
281 I'd like less of an urban look 1.4524 0.03867 294 189 77 28
282 I think my hairline is starting to go south. 1.4512 0.03839 297 191 78 28
283 Yes, she’s a hairpiece...but she’s so much more! 1.4508 0.03673 295 184 89 22
284 If you think this looks ridiculous, you should've seen my comb-over. 1.4508 0.03766 295 187 83 25
285 Now that you mention it, I guess it has been awhile. 1.4508 0.03673 295 184 89 22
286 I’m thinking of getting a feathered cut. 1.4505 0.03846 293 188 78 27
287 It used to be a rat's nest. 1.4495 0.03934 287 186 73 28
288 It's like what they say, "the early bird gets the perm." 1.4486 0.03885 292 189 75 28
289 As I said before sir, you are next in line after the invisible man 1.4486 0.04004 292 193 67 32
290 It's the only way I can get eggs right now. 1.4486 0.03915 292 190 73 29
291 I'm pretty sure my haircut will qualify for the $12 early bird special. 1.4486 0.03854 292 188 77 27
292 Referral? Pretty sure it was a tweet. 1.4484 0.03897 281 180 76 25
293 I blame Trump. 1.4484 0.04119 281 187 62 32
294 You should see what they're doing to folks in MAGA hats. 1.4483 0.03842 290 186 78 26
295 Turns out my shrink is a quack. 1.4483 0.04024 290 192 66 32
296 He would like you to feather it. 1.4483 0.03934 290 189 72 29
297 I'm assuming you can handle fly away hair. 1.4479 0.03766 288 182 83 23
298 A little birdie told me you give great haircuts. 1.4464 0.03939 280 181 73 26
299 Sorry, you are too late for the early bird special. 1.4456 0.03983 285 187 69 29
300 Pluck and a shave, please. 1.4456 0.03920 285 185 73 27
301 It's less of a challenge than the rat's nest I use to wear. 1.4456 0.03983 285 187 69 29
302 I need you to fix my flyaway hair 1.4456 0.03760 285 179 83 22
303 She'll have a shampoo and blow dry. I'll just have a shave. 1.4452 0.03711 283 177 86 20
304 Short back and sides, and none off the top She is nesting. 1.4452 0.03876 283 182 76 25
305 A crew cut for me, and a wing clip for him. 1.4452 0.03745 283 178 84 21
306 Take a smidgen, I mean a pigeon, off the top. 1.4452 0.03711 283 177 86 20
307 Just make me look less like a statue. 1.4452 0.03811 283 180 80 23
308 Because I need the eggs. 1.4448 0.03863 281 180 77 24
309 She said she was the bluebird of happiness, but between you and me, I'm not feeling it. 1.4423 0.03970 260 166 73 21
310 I'm thinking of going back to the comb over. 1.4419 0.03861 267 169 78 20
311 Is your two for one special still on? 1.4416 0.03792 274 173 81 20
312 Better a pigeon than a bald eagle. 1.4416 0.03648 274 174 81 19
313 I'm an egghead -- not a bird brain. 1.4416 0.03998 274 179 69 26
314 With all that’s going on, the last thing I’m worried about is bird flu. 1.4416 0.03931 274 177 73 24
315 It's better than two in my bush. 1.4416 0.04130 274 183 61 30
316 Just take a little off the sides. With the way the market is going don’t touch my nest egg! 1.4416 0.03964 274 178 71 25
317 Well, she helps with social distancing. 1.4416 0.03685 274 170 87 17
318 Can you work around my emotional support pigeon? 1.4416 0.03862 274 174 77 22
319 Yes, I was waiting long. 1.4391 0.03960 271 176 71 24
320 Can you make me whatever the opposite of a chick magnet is? 1.4387 0.03981 269 175 70 24
321 The comb over isn't working anymore. 1.4387 0.03981 269 174 70 24
322 I'd get rid of it, but we need the eggs. 1.4387 0.03981 269 175 70 24
323 Can you kind of feather it in the back? 1.4387 0.03981 269 174 70 24
324 Last time you didn't take quite enough off the top. 1.4387 0.03910 269 173 74 22
325 Let's switch it up this time. I'd like a mohawk. 1.4387 0.04084 269 177 62 26
326 Not quite the brooding look I had in mind. 1.4387 0.04050 269 177 66 26
327 I think I'm done with the feathered hair look. 1.4382 0.04002 267 173 69 24
328 FAA says it's no longer safe to fly.... 1.4382 0.04106 267 177 63 27
329 If she's nesting, then legally I can only trim the sides. 1.4382 0.03931 267 172 73 22
330 In retrospect, shooing it away would've made a lot of sense. 1.4363 0.04015 259 168 69 22
331 Lou, I have a problem with the “Chick magnet” cut you gave me last week. 1.4363 0.04161 259 172 61 26
332 I'd like it to look more natural. 1.4360 0.04037 250 161 69 20
333 Have a seat son. You're nest. 1.4360 0.04194 250 165 61 24
334 I figure I should get this taken care of before spring. 1.4356 0.03887 264 169 75 20
335 It's a coopée 1.4353 0.04208 255 170 59 26
336 It happens every Spring. 1.4351 0.04054 262 172 66 24
337 Yeah, I though a cut was due. My friends kept telling me it looked like a bird's nest up there. 1.4351 0.04126 262 174 62 26
338 Your hair is like a bird’s nest and I want my bird back! 

While you are at it, can you cut the bird’s hair, he’s a bit shabby? (Submitted by a group of third graders under quarantine) 1.4351 0.03981 262 170 70 22
339 Just the sides and the back please. 1.4346 0.03928 260 167 73 20
340 I thought I'd be an empty nester by now. 1.4346 0.03928 260 166 73 20
341 Can you do something with this nest? 1.4346 0.03851 260 165 77 18
342 Can you feather it a bit? 1.4346 0.03928 260 167 73 20
343 This time we'll be live-tweeting it 1.4346 0.04112 260 172 63 25
344 As usual, short on the sides, wildlife sanctuary on top. 1.4346 0.04076 260 171 65 24
345 You are the one who brought up my bald spot. 1.4341 0.03910 258 165 74 19
346 I hope a ducktail is not out of style. 1.4341 0.04062 258 169 66 23
347 As you can see, it has gotten a little wild. 1.4338 0.04479 219 145 53 21
348 It's my tern. 1.4325 0.04280 252 170 55 27
349 Give me a mohawk, the mopigeon isn’t working for me. 1.4325 0.04280 252 170 55 27
350 I'd like to delete this Tweet 1.4325 0.04052 252 164 67 21
351 Thanks for the new haircut Joe... the chicks dig it. 1.4320 0.04229 250 167 58 25
352 Turns out the haircut you gave me last week was popular with the chicks. 1.4320 0.04035 250 162 68 20
353 I know. 1.4314 0.03940 255 164 72 19
354 I want it feathered. 1.4314 0.03979 255 165 70 20
355 You try explaining "social distancing" to him. 1.4314 0.04169 255 170 60 25
356 I was hoping for something that looks nice for the chicks. 1.4314 0.03901 255 163 74 18
357 Oh my! This gives a whole new meaning to egghead 1.4314 0.04018 255 166 68 21
358 I said, could you just take off a smidgen? 1.4314 0.04242 255 172 56 27
359 Take it easy - he covers my bald spot 1.4314 0.04018 255 166 68 21
360 Can you round out the back of his nest? 1.4314 0.04131 255 169 62 24
361 Take a little off the top, but leave the eggs. 1.4314 0.04094 255 168 64 23
362 No, I haven't shampooed recently. How did you know? 1.4313 0.03942 262 170 71 21
363 Ok, ok, I know it’s normally a bird in the hand, but these are different times. 1.4308 0.03921 253 162 73 18
364 Less feathering on the top, please. 1.4303 0.03983 251 162 70 19
365 Thanks for the haircut. I'll be sure to tweet about it. 1.4303 0.03983 251 162 70 19
366 No cut; I was hoping you could check for eggs. 1.4303 0.04101 251 165 64 22
367 We had a great relationship until she decided to start a family. 1.4303 0.03942 251 161 72 18
368 My mom told me to get this bird's nest taken care of. 1.4303 0.03983 251 162 70 19
369 Can you just trim around him? He’s a rescue. 1.4303 0.03983 251 162 70 19
370 Could you make it look more like an eagle? 1.4297 0.04045 249 162 67 20
371 Just a trim please and clip the wings a little. 1.4297 0.03881 249 158 75 16
372 Been waiting very long? 1.4297 0.04240 249 167 57 25
373 I guess I'm just a chick magnet. 1.4280 0.03987 243 156 70 17
374 I need you to make me look less like a statue. 1.4280 0.03987 243 155 70 17
375 Do you recommend Dove shampoo? 1.4280 0.03944 243 155 72 16
376 Why do you ask? 1.4274 0.04180 234 153 62 19
377 I don't know Carl, just wing it 1.4273 0.04224 227 148 61 18
378 I thought I asked for a mohawk. 1.4268 0.04077 246 161 65 20
379 Just a little off on the sides as usual, Mr. Peartree? 1.4268 0.04237 246 165 57 24
380 No, I want the same cut you gave me when it was a squirrel. 1.4262 0.04100 244 160 64 20
381 Why don't we wait until after the spring migration. 1.4262 0.04100 244 160 64 20
382 A little over the ears and light preening for the bird. 1.4262 0.04222 244 163 58 23
383 Don't touch it or its mom won't come back for it. 1.4256 0.04123 242 159 63 20
384 Can you just feather the edges a little bit for me? 1.4256 0.03997 242 156 69 17
385 Just for me. He's already been clipped. 1.4256 0.03910 242 154 73 15
386 Nothing off the top. And just feather the sides. 1.4256 0.04123 242 159 63 20
387 The bar is next door, try your joke there. 1.4256 0.04286 242 163 55 24
388 I could use a trim and a pluck 1.4256 0.04082 242 158 65 19
389 Just the sides - the top is endangered. 1.4250 0.04019 240 154 68 17
390 You'll have to work around him. He's an endangered species. 1.4237 0.04152 236 153 59 19
391 How about a beehive this time? 1.4237 0.04196 236 156 60 20
392 Act natural. I'll sit in the chair. You stab the @#%&# thing. 1.4232 0.04494 241 168 44 29
393 I’d like a trim and a pluck. 1.4231 0.04133 234 153 63 18
394 A little less feathering this time. 1.4231 0.04088 234 152 65 17
395 Could you just take a smigeon I mean a pigeon off the top? 1.4231 0.04177 234 154 61 19
396 I'm rebuilding my retirement nest egg. 1.4226 0.04241 239 160 57 22
397 A little birdie told me you were the best in town. 1.4222 0.04247 225 148 59 18
398 I'm easy... no harm, no fowl. 1.4222 0.04293 225 149 57 19
399 I give people the bird everywhere I go! 1.4222 0.04152 225 146 63 16
400 It was this or go bald eagle. 1.4222 0.04518 225 154 47 24
401 Just a bit off the sides and put it on my bill. 1.4219 0.04182 237 157 60 20
402 Be gentle. It's his first haircut. 1.4219 0.04051 237 154 66 17
403 I'm thinking of something new and exciting... Perhaps a peacock this time? 1.4219 0.04224 237 158 58 21
404 The manbunny was too needy. 1.4219 0.04182 237 157 60 20
405 Can you give me a cut that will not upset the Audubon Society? 1.4219 0.03962 237 151 69 15
406 Can you make me look like I don't have a pigeon on my head? 1.4219 0.04266 237 159 56 22
407 Just a little off the front and the sides,I've already come up with a good way to hide the bald spot. 1.4219 0.04051 237 154 66 17
408 I’d like to start with an egg shampoo. 1.4213 0.04376 235 160 51 24
409 Fuller on the top and sides, with a nice dovetail in the back please. 1.4213 0.03892 235 149 73 13
410 Just the regular …and maybe some help getting the song out of my head. 1.4213 0.04119 235 154 63 18
411 Help me out - it thinks I'm an empty nester. 1.4213 0.04292 235 158 55 22
412 We've been ordered to nest in place. 1.4211 0.04297 228 152 56 20
413 I think it’s time for a haircut. She’s building a nest. 1.4206 0.04143 233 153 62 18
414 I’m sending him with a message to my cousin in Albany. That should give you enough time. 1.4206 0.04187 233 154 60 19
415 Polly want a crew cut. 1.4206 0.04318 233 156 54 22
416 Last time I got a mo-hawk but it just wasn't me. 1.4206 0.04187 233 154 60 19
417 I got your message. 1.4206 0.04007 233 155 60 18
418 I won't pay more, but we can split the eggs. 1.4206 0.04007 233 150 68 15
419 You can keep any eggs you find! 1.4206 0.03913 233 148 72 13
420 I warned my wife it's on if she insists on keeping her beehive. 1.4206 0.04360 233 158 52 23
421 It'll go quicker this time--the youngsters have left the nest. 1.4199 0.04076 231 150 65 16
422 I'm from the branch office. 1.4199 0.04167 231 152 61 18
423 Due to the latest news, he's sheltering in place. 1.4185 0.04124 227 148 63 16
424 Wait til you see my cowlicks. 1.4178 0.04289 225 150 56 19
425 Just a couple finches off the top. 1.4178 0.04100 225 146 64 15
426 I'm a vegan and a hipster. A hairpiece for a bald spot wasn't fashionable, organic or sustainable. 1.4178 0.04148 225 146 60 16
427 Shave and a haircut, two eggs? 1.4178 0.04051 225 150 58 17
428 Take about six feet off the bottom. 1.4178 0.04312 225 152 51 21
429 Anything is fine, just wing it. 1.4178 0.04196 225 148 60 17
430 Will they hatch before barbershops reopen? 1.4178 0.04051 225 150 58 17
431 There's a window sill in the back room for your hat.... 1.4178 0.04002 225 144 68 13
432 I'd like a beehive this time. 1.4178 0.04335 225 151 54 20
433 Well, at least the chicks like it. 1.4174 0.03944 230 147 70 13
434 Just feather it a little bit. 1.4159 0.04086 226 147 64 15
435 I know it's time to come in once they start nesting 1.4159 0.03889 226 148 64 14
436 Nothing off the top, please. 1.4159 0.03889 226 148 64 14
437 It's OK, just don't ruffle any feathers 1.4159 0.04134 226 148 62 16
438 This time, I'd like to go back to my old ducktail. 1.4159 0.04274 226 149 56 19
439 Just a bit off the sides this week Joe. We’re currently nesting. 1.4159 0.04228 226 150 58 18
440 Try not to clip the wings this time, I want him gone. 1.4159 0.04274 226 151 56 19
441 Nothing fancy, I just need to make him a little more comfortable. We need the eggs. 1.4159 0.04181 226 149 60 17
442 I'm really just looking for a feather cut. 1.4152 0.04012 224 144 67 13
443 I like it feathered on top. 1.4152 0.04159 224 147 61 16
444 why are you wearing a tie? 1.4152 0.04061 224 149 56 16
445 Please avoid clipping the wings. 1.4152 0.04207 224 148 59 17
446 It's your tern next. 1.4152 0.04254 224 149 57 18
447 Thanks for recommending that Dove Shampoo for my dandruff. 1.4152 0.04301 224 155 47 22
448 My financial advisor suggested a nest egg. Can you check? 1.4152 0.04301 224 150 55 19
449 Give him a message to carry. Then he'll fly away and you can cut my hair. 1.4126 0.04184 206 133 61 12
450 My friend had a real rat's nest and he liked what you did. 1.4126 0.04169 223 147 60 16
451 Just a trim, and watch the eggs. 1.4126 0.03867 223 146 64 13
452 I was referred to you by my ornithologist. 1.4123 0.04226 211 138 59 14
453 Would sir perhaps want some corn rows with that? 1.4120 0.04410 216 146 51 19
454 It's worth two in the bush. 1.4120 0.04261 216 143 57 16
455 I'll go with the Beehive this time. 1.4120 0.04107 216 140 63 13
456 Something distinctive . . . I resent being pigeon-holed. 1.4118 0.04095 221 144 63 14
457 This time I'd like mo' hawk and less pigeon. 1.4115 0.04177 226 150 59 17
458 Is there a better way I could hide a bald spot? 1.4115 0.03984 226 146 67 13
459 I know it's beautiful, Chuck, but it just ain't me. 1.4110 0.04170 219 144 60 15
460 I had a ducktail in junior high, a mullet in high school, so this is a quite natural progression. 1.4110 0.04068 219 142 64 13
461 Department of Fish and Game recomended you. 1.4110 0.04170 219 144 60 15
462 I'm just not sure if Rogaine is right for me... 1.4101 0.04246 217 144 57 16
463 She covers my bald spot; just trim around the nest. 1.4101 0.04092 217 141 63 13
464 The only problem I see is that it’s a dove. It’ll be tricky to turn it into a Mohawk. 1.4101 0.04195 217 143 59 15
465 I need a style that doesn't say "egg head." 1.4101 0.04296 217 145 55 17
466 Oh, not much. What's new with you? 1.4093 0.04323 215 144 54 17
467 First, we'll need the poultry shears. 1.4093 0.04373 215 145 52 18
468 Just feather the sides." 1.4093 0.04221 215 142 58 15
469 What? Have you never seen a Passenger Pigeon? 1.4093 0.04373 215 145 52 18
470 No, leave the duck tail. Just pluck a little off the top. 1.4093 0.04323 215 144 54 17
471 It helps with the social distancing. 1.4093 0.04471 215 147 48 20
472 Are you sure there is no other way to hide my bald spot? 1.4087 0.04424 208 140 51 17
473 Could you sort of just make it blend in? 1.4085 0.04350 213 142 53 16
474 Is there an Audubon Society discount? 1.4085 0.04299 213 142 55 16
475 Just a trim to get me through nesting season. 1.4085 0.04247 213 141 57 15
476 Not what I meant when I said I wanted a mullet. 1.4085 0.04299 213 142 55 16
477 Having a bird hair day? 1.4085 0.04247 213 141 57 15
478 I can only use products that were animal-tested. 1.4085 0.04247 213 141 57 15
479 We've been brooding over what to get. 1.4065 0.04283 214 143 55 16
480 You get used to the chirping. 1.4058 0.04219 207 136 58 13
481 Just a shave. 1.4058 0.04383 207 139 52 16
482 A bird in the hand, young man, not on the head. 1.4057 0.04205 212 139 58 14
483 Premature bald eagle 1.4057 0.04463 212 145 48 19
484 Tidy the nest, and take a little off the sides. 1.4057 0.04310 212 142 54 16
485 That's not what I meant when I asked you to feather it. 1.4057 0.04413 212 144 50 18
486 Leave the top alone. Just feather in the sides. 1.4057 0.04205 212 140 58 14
487 All this just to impress some chick? 1.4057 0.04310 212 142 54 16
488 A reminder by text works for me, honest. 1.4057 0.04463 212 145 48 19
489 He’s decided to shelter in place. 1.4057 0.04310 212 142 54 16
490 Just trim this human from my belly. 1.4057 0.04258 212 140 56 15
491 It's a little too feathered on the top. 1.4057 0.04562 212 146 44 21
492 Hat? I’m not wearing a hat. 1.4057 0.04205 212 140 58 14
493 You have a good memory. It was a duck last time. 1.4057 0.04513 212 146 46 20
494 Do you have anything to tame my flyaway hair? 1.4057 0.04310 212 142 54 16
495 Not sure what it will be, we've been brooding on it all week. 1.4057 0.04310 212 142 54 16
496 She wants bangs. 1.4057 0.04463 212 145 48 19
497 Yessir, I can see you’ve got a situation up there, but Governor Cuomo says I’m nonessential. 1.4057 0.04611 212 148 42 22
498 And feather the sides. 1.4057 0.04413 212 144 50 18
499 I said Duck Tail, not Dove Tail. 1.4057 0.04310 212 142 54 16
500 So I got your tweet... 1.4057 0.04413 212 144 50 18
501 I'd like to try a different style. Can you do the Flock of Seagulls look? 1.4057 0.04463 212 145 48 19
502 Nothing too crazy. 1.4048 0.04390 210 142 51 17
503 Help! I'm having a bird hair day 1.4048 0.04338 210 141 53 16
504 He’s taking the Shelter in Place order pretty seriously 1.4048 0.04338 210 141 52 16
505 Yes, it’s been a while. Does it look a little wild? 1.4040 0.04520 198 133 48 16
506 I pose as a statue, for selfies in Times Square. 1.4038 0.04258 208 138 56 14
507 I believe this does qualify as essential business. 1.4038 0.04574 208 144 44 20
508 Leave a little something for it to play with in the front 1.4038 0.03976 208 133 66 9
509 Do you think you can do something about my cowlick? 1.4038 0.04203 208 137 58 13
510 I appreciate the creativity, but it won't fly with my wife. 1.4038 0.04258 208 138 56 14
511 It's the goop you put on last time - he got stuck. 1.4029 0.04448 206 136 47 14
512 Barber- “Is that a Carrier Pigeon?” Patron- “Yea, but it’s not showing any symptoms.” 1.4029 0.04448 206 140 49 17
513 Guess what’s in my pocket. 1.4029 0.04501 206 141 47 18
514 Take a little off the top, but try not to disturb the eggs. 1.4020 0.04369 204 137 52 15
515 Yeah, take it all off. With my new phone app I just don't need him to help me get back home anymore. 1.4020 0.04257 204 135 56 13
516 Oh, good, you got the message. 1.4020 0.04478 204 139 48 17
517 A trim and pluck, please. 1.4010 0.04532 197 134 47 16
518 She'd prefer you leave a little on the top. 1.4010 0.04398 202 136 51 15
519 I'm tired of trying to hide my bald spot. 1.4010 0.04563 202 139 45 18
520 I'll tell you what! I won't ask you about the bird if you don't ask me about the elephant in the corner. 1.4010 0.04722 202 142 39 21
521 Ms Peeps and I have a bet that you can't make both of us beautiful. 1.4010 0.04341 202 135 53 14
522 I’m thinking of getting it feathered. 1.4010 0.04341 202 135 53 14
523 Maybe a feather cut? 1.4010 0.04398 202 136 51 15
524 Thanks, but just a shave. 1.4010 0.04398 202 135 51 15
525 I don't need a haircut, but could you check on the eggs? 1.4010 0.04563 202 139 45 18
526 Better than egg on my face. 1.4010 0.04341 202 135 53 14
527 Feather the top, please. 1.4010 0.04341 202 135 53 14
528 I wanted a Mohawk 1.4010 0.04398 202 136 51 15
529 I asked for a mullet but they gave me the bird. 1.4010 0.04508 202 138 47 17
530 Oh yes, this has always been a cage-free, humane barbershop. 1.4010 0.04563 202 139 45 18
531 Just a pluck, trim, and a shave. 1.4010 0.04453 202 138 46 17
532 Hi Stan... just the usual trim and pluck 1.4010 0.04341 202 135 53 14
533 I said "Ducktail." 1.4010 0.04168 202 132 59 11
534 He's taking shelter-in-place very seriously. 1.4010 0.04284 202 134 55 13
535 Please, just the sides and back. Don't touch the toupee...it's my chick magnet. 1.4010 0.04616 202 140 43 19
536 Yea, I-I know. Just cut around it 1.4010 0.04284 202 134 55 13
537 Could you feather it above the ears? 1.4000 0.04460 205 140 48 17
538 Just a clean up on the sides. Nothing off the top. 1.4000 0.04068 205 133 62 10
539 Oh! I was supposed to go into a bar, not a barber shop! 1.4000 0.04297 205 136 54 14
540 The Rogaine did the trick but I wasn’t expecting another mouth to feed. 1.4000 0.04184 205 135 58 12
541 I'm good but his wings could use a little clipping. 1.3990 0.04152 203 133 59 11
542 All the hospitals were full so I came here. 1.3981 0.04600 206 144 42 20
543 What bald spot? 1.3981 0.04443 206 141 48 17
544 This isn't the ducktail look I was hoping for. 1.3980 0.04353 201 135 52 14
545 She felt sorry for me when our youngest left for college. 1.3980 0.04118 201 131 60 10
546 It’s a ptarmigan not a pigeon and it does too need a haircut. 1.3980 0.04465 201 137 48 16
547 Could we do this without ruffling any Feathers? 1.3980 0.04353 201 135 52 14
548 Once the market reacted to the coronavirus, it was the only safe place for my nest egg. 1.3980 0.04295 201 134 54 13
549 Can you just feather it.. 1.3980 0.04353 201 135 52 14
550 Just something basic--don't ruffle any feathers. 1.3980 0.04409 201 136 50 15
551 A ducktail, but this time, less duck. 1.3980 0.04465 201 137 48 16
552 Did you just say “Take a smidgen off the top?” 1.3980 0.04295 201 134 54 13
553 Same as last time Ernie, just cover the grey. 1.3980 0.04409 201 136 50 15
554 I can't see it, but my wife says it's a real bird's nest. 1.3980 0.04237 201 133 56 12
555 Can you do this from six feet away? 1.3980 0.04309 196 130 54 12
556 I am NOT giving you a Beehive. 1.3980 0.04487 196 133 48 15
557 The bird says “could you get this guy off my ass”? 1.3980 0.04545 196 134 46 16
558 Just shave the sides. Leave Mo, my hawk. 1.3971 0.04308 204 137 53 14
559 At least it's not a rat's nest. 1.3971 0.04473 204 140 47 17
560 We became friends during the quarantine, but he just won't move on. 1.3971 0.04136 204 134 59 11
561 What exactly constitutes 'extra?' 1.3970 0.04381 199 134 51 14
562 The usual feather cut? 1.3970 0.04323 199 133 53 13
563 I made the appointment because your advertisement said you specialized in feathering. 1.3970 0.04381 199 133 51 14
564 I'd like the top lightly feathered. 1.3970 0.04204 199 131 57 11
565 It's a not-so-faux hawk. 1.3970 0.04496 199 136 47 16
566 I'm heading south tomorrow, I'll need it shorter for the warm weather. 1.3970 0.04439 199 135 49 15
567 Could you bleach it and put an olive branch in her mouth? 1.3970 0.04439 199 135 49 15
568 Just a trim okay? We’re incubating. 1.3970 0.04323 199 133 53 13
569 This nesting in place thing is not working for me. 1.3970 0.04323 199 133 53 13
570 I assume the usual, one finch off the top? 1.3970 0.04552 199 137 44 17
571 Sorry, but the early bird special ends at 11:30 AM. 1.3970 0.04381 199 134 51 14
572 I need a whole new look, Sam. I was thinking seagull. Too radical? 1.3970 0.04019 199 128 63 8
573 My last barber asked if he could feather my hair. I said, “Sure.” 1.3970 0.04381 199 134 51 14
574 I said I wanted a mullet, not a mallard! 1.3970 0.04552 199 137 45 17
575 Just a trim. We're expecting. 1.3970 0.04496 199 136 47 16
576 My wife prefers this over a toupée. 1.3959 0.04640 197 137 42 18
577 I just need a trim. Also, if you could apply white millet, safflower and cracked corn when you are done, that would be great. 1.3959 0.04411 197 133 50 14
578 It's endangered, so you'd better just trim some off the sides. 1.3959 0.04352 197 132 52 13
579 Just the usual, Sam 1.3959 0.04527 197 135 46 16
580 My grandad suggested something called a "ducktail?" 1.3959 0.04583 197 136 44 17
581 Thanks for the trim, Bob - I'll name a chick after you. 1.3949 0.04673 195 136 41 18
582 I need a trim around the person please it’s getting hard to perch... 1.3938 0.04706 193 135 40 18
583 Yeah...it was an off-brand minoxidil. 1.3938 0.04349 193 129 52 12
584 Well a lot HAS happened since I was last here. We're expecting! 1.3938 0.04471 193 131 48 14
585 It's twenty dollars, and I keep any eggs I find. 1.3938 0.04286 193 127 54 11
586 That Trump-style comb-over didn't work out so well. 1.3936 0.04553 188 128 46 14
587 So far, there hasn't been a peep. 1.3927 0.04623 191 132 43 16
588 I said I wanted a duck tail. 1.3918 0.04206 194 128 56 10
589 He’s wondering if you could put the game on. 1.3918 0.04452 194 132 48 14
590 You must be from New York. 1.3918 0.04392 194 131 50 13
591 I’m sorry, I can’t tip. I SPECIFICALLY showed you a picture of an eagle... 1.3918 0.04743 194 137 38 19
592 I can't. That's an endangered species. 1.3918 0.04571 194 134 44 16
593 You told me the haircut would attract chicks, and now I'm proud to report that the eggs are finally hatching. 1.3918 0.04512 194 133 46 15
594 Your suggestion for hiding my bald spot is working perfectly. 1.3918 0.04392 194 131 50 13
595 Short on top but don't clip the wings 1.3918 0.04077 194 126 60 8
596 Leave the nest but trim the rest 1.3918 0.04392 194 131 50 13
597 Don’t change it too much, the chicks love it. 1.3918 0.04452 194 132 48 14
598 Who is going to be first? 1.3913 0.04745 184 128 40 16
599 I wanted a little off the top, but work around her—She’s keeping people 6 feet away. 1.3913 0.04554 184 125 46 13
600 Could you just feather the edges? 1.3913 0.04354 184 122 52 10
601 It's a protected species so just a little off the sides. 1.3913 0.04421 184 123 50 11
602 My girlfriend has two in her bush. 1.3906 0.04890 192 138 33 21
603 Let's go with a feathered cut 1.3906 0.04233 192 127 55 10
604 am here for the two for one special I saw advertised. Eddie, he's a pigeon, but he still wants a duck-tail 1.3906 0.04543 192 132 45 15
605 Just a smidgen off the pigeon please 1.3906 0.04297 192 128 53 11
606 I'd like to get it feathered, please. 1.3906 0.04297 192 128 53 11
607 Short on the sides, feathered on top. 1.3906 0.04297 192 128 53 11
608 Did you wash your hands? 1.3895 0.04576 190 131 44 15
609 I’m thinking I’d like to go with a Robin for Spring. 1.3886 0.04404 193 131 49 13
610 I'm already a chick magnet. 1.3883 0.04608 188 130 43 15
611 Usually it just looks like a rat's nest. 1.3883 0.04608 188 129 43 15
612 Well, I no longer have a monkey on my back. 1.3883 0.04419 188 127 49 12
613 I was hoping this look would help me pick up chicks... turns out I was wrong. 1.3883 0.04483 188 128 47 13
614 It kept my head warm in winter, then it earned its squatter's rights. 1.3883 0.04419 188 127 49 12
615 This doesn't look anything like the picture I gave you! 1.3883 0.04669 188 131 41 16
616 It handled the bald spot. 1.3883 0.04288 188 125 53 10
617 When you said your hair was a nest, I had something else in mind... 1.3883 0.04419 188 127 49 12
618 Hey Marty you know when you said my hair was looking like a bird’s nest the other day I thought I’d better come in for a trim 1.3883 0.04222 188 124 55 9
619 A dovecote is the new beehive. 1.3883 0.04546 188 129 45 14
620 It's been a weird week. 1.3883 0.04288 188 125 53 10
621 Just cut around the eggs. You break one you buy it. 1.3883 0.04483 188 128 47 13
622 He's complying with shelter in place. 1.3883 0.04608 188 130 43 15
623 He’s nesting-in-place. 1.3883 0.04354 188 126 51 11
624 Can you make it look just a tad bit more natural? 1.3883 0.04546 188 129 45 14
625 I'm thinking of a mohawk - at least until the eggs hatch. 1.3883 0.04354 188 126 51 11
626 I've already tried animal control. 1.3883 0.04222 188 124 55 9
627 She just wants a light trim, and go easy around the tail feathers. 1.3883 0.04546 188 129 45 14
628 He was crossing the road. Why do you ask? 1.3883 0.04730 188 132 39 17
629 Just a shave, please. 1.3883 0.04483 188 128 47 13
630 I understand. Actually, I'm used to social distancing. 1.3883 0.04669 188 131 41 16
631 I don’t know why you are so concerned. It’s not a bat. 1.3883 0.04849 188 134 35 19
632 Why don’t you come back after the eggs hatch! 1.3883 0.04483 188 128 47 13
633 It's a duck. What's it to ya. 1.3883 0.04608 188 130 43 15
634 He likes fish, so can I get a mullet? 1.3883 0.04483 188 128 47 13
635 Sure it may be challenging, but at least you have customer! 1.3883 0.04354 188 126 51 11
636 Take a little off the top? 1.3883 0.04730 188 132 39 17
637 The top is good. I just need you to feather the sides. 1.3883 0.04288 188 125 53 10
638 It's a new site--Hairbnb. 1.3883 0.04546 188 129 45 14
639 The bird's nest worked too well. I'll try a buzz cut this time. 1.3883 0.04483 188 128 47 13
640 Something spiky, please. 1.3883 0.04669 188 131 41 16
641 The last time I came in, I asked for a mullet, but it turned into a pullet 1.3883 0.04419 188 127 49 12
642 I can only pay with seed money. 1.3883 0.04288 188 125 53 10
643 I'm not sure I like the feathered look. 1.3883 0.04288 188 125 53 10
644 Just a little trim - we're expecting soon. 1.3878 0.04675 147 96 45 6
645 Sorry, I missed my train, had to ride here on this man's head. 1.3867 0.04859 181 128 36 17
646 My wife left me for a bald eagle guy. 1.3862 0.05377 145 102 30 13
647 Just take a few twigs off the side. 1.3859 0.04675 184 128 41 15
648 Just take a smidgen off the back and sides, and a pigeon off the top. 1.3859 0.04611 184 127 43 14
649 Just a few feathers off the top, please. 1.3859 0.04346 184 123 51 10
650 A little birdie told me it's time for a cut. 1.3859 0.04346 184 123 51 10
651 What bird? 1.3859 0.04675 184 128 41 15
652 A little bird told me that this a good place for a haircut. 1.3859 0.04547 184 126 45 13
653 I haven't seen you since you were just a little boy with an egg on your head. 1.3859 0.04738 184 129 39 16
654 It's been awhile. 1.3859 0.04547 184 126 45 13
655 I'll take a Yul Brynner 1.3859 0.04481 184 125 47 12
656 Can I pay you in toilet paper? 1.3859 0.04738 184 128 39 16
657 I need a new look, I don't want to be pigeonholed. 1.3859 0.04547 184 126 45 13
658 You want a cut or a pluck. 1.3859 0.04862 184 131 35 18
659 I love the way this grew in. 1.3859 0.04481 184 125 47 12
660 She's endangered, just trim the edges. 1.3859 0.04414 184 124 49 11
661 Sorry we only do ducks 1.3859 0.04738 184 129 39 16
662 Avian bird flu is so last pandemic. 1.3859 0.04738 184 129 39 16
663 Would you like the top feathered? 1.3859 0.04611 184 127 43 14
664 I'm so sorry Jimmy, I didn't expect it to grow back quite like that. 1.3859 0.04801 184 129 37 17
665 Try not to wing it this time... 1.3859 0.04481 184 125 47 12
666 Take a little off the sides and leave the bits of string, sticks and twigs on the top. 1.3859 0.04738 184 129 39 16
667 . . . and not too much off the top. 1.3859 0.04346 184 123 51 10
668 Oh...just feather it out. 1.3859 0.04277 184 122 53 9
669 If you could smooth out the ruffled feathers... 1.3859 0.04414 184 124 49 11
670 My wife kept telling me it looked like a bird's nest, but I didn't take her seriously. 1.3859 0.04547 184 126 45 13
671 Please don' t ruffle the feathers. 1.3859 0.04277 184 122 53 9
672 It works better than a combover. 1.3859 0.04547 184 126 45 13
673 Trim it on the sides and add some twigs and scraps of paper on top. 1.3859 0.04611 184 127 43 14
674 It's easier than explaining my premature bald spot. 1.3859 0.04414 184 123 49 11
675 Last time I got a haircut? Let’s see . . . I know it was before spring. 1.3859 0.04481 184 124 47 12
676 No buzz cut this time. I'm incubating. 1.3859 0.04414 184 124 49 11
677 This definitely counts as essential 1.3846 0.04579 182 125 44 13
678 Keep the sides short, but be sure to feather the top. 1.3841 0.04690 164 111 43 10
679 I got hammered last night and passed out in the bushes. 1.3833 0.04613 180 124 43 13
680 Can you trim a bit around the eggs? 1.3829 0.04489 175 118 47 10
681 Just take a little off the topiary. 1.3829 0.04772 175 122 39 14
682 If you have a quartet, I know a good warbler. 1.3820 0.04578 178 122 44 12
683 Save the hair. He needs to finish his nest. 1.3815 0.04947 173 123 34 16
684 Just a little preening and clip the wings, please 1.3815 0.04521 173 117 46 10
685 Yeah, for me, a bird on the head is worth two in the bush. 1.3812 0.04525 181 124 45 12
686 Surprise me! 1.3812 0.04456 181 123 47 11
687 I found us a tenor, Sam. 1.3812 0.04724 181 127 39 15
688 I read a review online that your shop is for the birds. 1.3812 0.04724 181 127 39 15
689 Don't mind him, he's a combing pigeon 1.3810 0.04610 168 114 43 9
690 I would have expected a man of your experience to have fewer questions. 1.3810 0.04836 168 117 38 13
691 The last haircut you gave me was for the birds. 1.3810 0.04836 168 117 38 13
692 Frankly, I should have come in sooner. 1.3807 0.04540 176 119 43 11
693 I would like a little off the sides so the top lays more evenly. 1.3797 0.04803 158 108 40 10
694 The chicks won't fledge for another week; just a trim 'til then, OK? 1.3791 0.04226 182 124 49 9
695 I should have come in BEFORE my interview. 1.3787 0.04739 169 117 40 12
696 A little off the sides, and add more twigs. 1.3787 0.04432 169 113 48 8
697 I like the feathered look. 1.3772 0.04544 167 113 45 9
698 I want a refund. 1.3772 0.05069 167 120 31 16
699 Whatever you can do to make him feel more at home. 1.3772 0.04776 167 116 39 12
700 Separation anxiety . . . what can I say? 1.3771 0.04480 175 119 46 10
701 But service dogs don't lay eggs. 1.3771 0.04832 175 124 36 15
702 Yes, my last haircut was quite fowl. 1.3771 0.04553 175 120 44 11
703 It’s called bird-do. You get it on your head sometimes. 1.3771 0.04900 175 125 34 16
704 Just a finch off the top, please. 1.3771 0.04832 175 124 36 15
705 He's endangered, so just a trim. 1.3771 0.04553 175 120 44 11
706 Something less co-dependent. 1.3771 0.04553 175 120 44 11
707 Besides the occasional run-in with a bird of prey, it's not that much of a hassle. 1.3771 0.04331 175 117 50 8
708 Can you give me a look that says 'NOT a cuckoo'? 1.3771 0.04900 175 125 34 16
709 I like it, but my wife says no. 1.3771 0.04764 175 123 38 14
710 I was wondering if you could give me less of a layered look? 1.3771 0.04764 175 123 38 14
711 Keep the pigeon, it helps me with social distancing. 1.3771 0.04764 175 123 38 14
712 I heard the beehive is coming back in style too. 1.3771 0.04480 175 119 46 10
713 Yes, still the same value as two in the bush. 1.3764 0.04638 178 124 41 13
714 I part it on the right, but she perches on the left. 1.3764 0.04773 178 126 37 15
715 Will a high and tight make my bird look big? 1.3764 0.04638 178 124 41 13
716 Yes, well, just feather it for now. 1.3764 0.04428 178 121 47 10
717 I don't really know what I'm going for, but I do feel that I've been pigeonholed. 1.3757 0.04586 173 119 43 11
718 Have you seen my pigeon? I’ve been asking everywhere. 1.3757 0.04283 173 115 51 7
719 Its been a while since my last cut. 1.3757 0.04801 173 122 37 14
720 It’s cheaper than a toupee, and the eggs are nice. 1.3757 0.04586 173 119 43 11
721 I thought it was just social distancing — until the eggs began to hatch. 1.3757 0.04730 173 121 39 13
722 I'm thinking of switching to a flock of seagulls. 1.3757 0.04361 173 116 49 8
723 Just a shave, please. She's a rescue. 1.3757 0.04730 173 121 39 13
724 I heard you did feathering? 1.3757 0.04870 173 123 35 15
725 If you could take out the twigs but leave the eggs, please. 1.3757 0.04730 173 121 39 13
726 I'm having trouble urinating, owe $34,000 to the IRS, and my wife is leaving me. Also I have a bird on my head. 1.3757 0.04801 173 122 37 14
727 I need some advice about how to deal with my bald spot. 1.3757 0.04939 173 124 33 16
728 I am something of an egghead. 1.3757 0.04659 173 119 41 12
729 How about a feathered cut ? 1.3757 0.04437 173 117 47 9
730 I'm taking long walks in the woods...how 'bout you, Frank? 1.3757 0.04659 173 120 41 12
731 I think you made me look too approachable last time. 1.3757 0.04586 173 119 43 11
732 It covers my bald spot. 1.3757 0.04586 173 119 43 11
733 I’m really just here for a roll of toilet paper 1.3757 0.04730 173 121 39 13
734 Just a little off the sides and back. Leave the pigeon on the top. ... Hey, why are you holding your scissors like that? 1.3757 0.04586 173 119 43 11
735 I said "A Duck Tail" but this is ridiculous. 1.3757 0.04361 173 116 49 8
736 I thought Dove was just a brand name... I didn’t expect it to be so literal 1.3757 0.04512 173 117 45 10
737 I'm tired of this feathering. 1.3757 0.04586 173 119 43 11
738 This time I don't wanna look as good as a statue. 1.3757 0.04870 173 123 35 15
739 Don't worry, she doesn't ruffle easily. 1.3750 0.04677 168 116 41 11
740 I only use natural hair care products. 1.3750 0.04677 168 116 41 11
741 He's a hair loss support bird, and if he goes, I go. 1.3750 0.04677 168 116 41 11
742 My mom doesn’t like technology so we communicate in other ways. 1.3750 0.04673 176 123 40 13
743 I need you to trim some flyaways. 1.3750 0.04522 168 114 45 9
744 You get called egghead enough, even the birds start to believe it. 1.3750 0.04279 168 111 51 6
745 Are we just cleaning up the sides and back again today? 1.3750 0.04522 168 114 45 9
746 Unfortunately, it's a stool pigeon 1.3750 0.04522 168 114 45 9
747 Thanks. There aren’t many places in town that can do a PETA-friendly cut. 1.3750 0.04522 168 114 45 9
748 It's OK, but I really wanted a ducktail. 1.3750 0.04443 168 113 47 8
749 This way nobody will notice my bald spot. 1.3743 0.04620 171 117 41 11
750 Just a bit off the sides and don’t disturb her. She self-quarantining. 1.3743 0.04545 171 117 44 10
751 As you can see Marty, the transplant was a success. 1.3743 0.04545 171 117 44 10
752 I'd like a coo cut. 1.3743 0.04767 171 120 38 13
753 Just take a bit off the top. 1.3743 0.04694 171 119 40 12
754 Actually it’s a Lesser Nit-Picker. 1.3743 0.04767 171 120 38 13
755 Would you like a shampoo and bird bath before we begin? 1.3743 0.04694 171 119 40 12
756 Yeah, it is a rescue. I got it at the little park off Riverside. 1.3743 0.04767 171 120 38 13
757 Just cut around the eggs. 1.3743 0.04620 171 118 42 11
758 I've been preparing for social distancing my whole life. 1.3743 0.04909 171 122 34 15
759 Just a feather cut. 1.3743 0.04545 171 117 44 10
760 Just a pigeon off the top please. 1.3743 0.04620 171 118 42 11
761 I say it's better than a rats nest, any day of the week. 1.3743 0.04694 171 119 40 12
762 It gets a better reaction than my bald spot. 1.3743 0.04694 171 119 40 12
763 Don't look at me like that. I described it as a bird's nest over the phone! 1.3743 0.04545 171 117 44 10
764 I'm looking for a more manageable style. 1.3743 0.04391 171 115 48 8
765 Would you get this guy off my ass? 1.3743 0.04978 171 123 32 16
766 It's the opposite of pigeon toed. 1.3743 0.04838 171 121 36 14
767 Something's wrong here. You're the barber. I just walked in. Why are you the one standing closer to the door? 1.3743 0.04694 171 118 40 12
768 It's just starting to feel a little heavy on top. 1.3743 0.04312 171 114 49 7
769 Ducktail. Ducktail. I asked for a DUCKTAIL haircut! 1.3743 0.04312 171 114 50 7
770 Yeah, it became a bit of a bird's nest... 1.3743 0.04694 171 119 40 12
771 She lives with me hiding under protective custody. When you give her a trim you'll see she's a stool pigeon. 1.3743 0.04694 171 118 40 12
772 This was not my idea of being "pretty fly for a white guy." 1.3741 0.05217 147 104 31 12
773 I figure if it goes out of style it will always come back. 1.3736 0.04491 174 119 45 10
774 Side effect of Propecia? 1.3736 0.04778 174 122 37 14
775 Two words: Carpool. Lane. 1.3736 0.04637 174 121 41 12
776 He came back in so much fuller than I expected... 1.3736 0.04264 174 116 51 7
777 She's in self-quarantine. 1.3735 0.04713 166 115 40 11
778 We'd like something less open concept. 1.3735 0.04713 166 115 40 11
779 Yeah, it’s gotten a little bushy. 1.3735 0.04635 166 114 42 10
780 Who’s the customer? 1.3735 0.04475 166 112 46 8
781 I’m not so sure the feathered look is working for me. 1.3735 0.04556 166 113 44 9
782 You said 2 for 1, right? 1.3735 0.04556 166 113 44 9
783 It’s a variation of the ducktail. 1.3729 0.04651 177 124 40 13
784 You can pretty much get paid to rent anything out now. 1.3728 0.04578 169 116 43 10
785 I asked my last barber for a ducktail. 1.3728 0.04730 169 118 39 12
786 I'd really like that 'fly away' look. 1.3728 0.04655 169 116 39 11
787 Sorry, Dad, but we're just waiting for some of my hair-brained ideas to hatch. 1.3728 0.04804 169 119 37 13
788 You'll have to work around it until Easter. 1.3728 0.04578 169 116 43 10
789 I’ve been cooped up so long I didn’t notice. 1.3728 0.04341 169 113 49 7
790 $10 plus any eggs I find 1.3728 0.04804 169 119 37 13
791 I know, it looks so real right? 1.3728 0.04578 169 116 43 10
792 I suppose you want it feathered. 1.3728 0.04578 169 116 43 10
793 Just give me a flat top. The duck tails are not working out. 1.3728 0.04578 169 116 43 10
794 I wouldn't have a problem with it except she's pregnant -- I'm not ready for kids. Violet Perez, Toronto, Canada (Age 12) 1.3728 0.04876 169 120 35 14
795 I'm afraid giving you a haircut could undermine a delicate ecological balance. 1.3728 0.04501 169 115 45 9
796 Seems okay now, but how can I make sure I don't get that fly-away look two hours later? 1.3728 0.04655 169 117 41 11
797 I know why the combed bird sings. 1.3713 0.04690 167 116 40 11
798 Not the chicks I was looking for. 1.3713 0.04766 167 117 38 12
799 I'm good, but the pigeon needs a trim. 1.3713 0.04534 167 114 44 9
800 I need a preen and a shave. 1.3713 0.04766 167 117 38 12
801 Feathered hair is back in style. 1.3713 0.04534 167 114 44 9
802 I want a styling that screams Melvin the Ornithologist . 1.3713 0.04534 167 114 44 9
803 Just a trim. I've got my bald spot covered. 1.3713 0.04372 167 112 48 7
804 can you feather the sides and maybe a ducktail 1.3713 0.04766 167 117 38 12
805 Sign says that you specialize in ducktails?" 1.3713 0.04613 167 115 42 10
806 I hear that is worth more than one in the hand 1.3713 0.04372 167 112 48 7
807 Maybe just a little less feathering. 1.3713 0.04203 167 110 52 5
808 I'd like a little feathering on the top. 1.3713 0.04613 167 115 42 10
809 What's so hard to understand? I want a duck tail. He already has one. 1.3713 0.04690 167 116 40 11
810 I used to have a ducktail.... 1.3713 0.04453 167 113 46 8
811 Don't take too much off. We're expecting. 1.3713 0.04766 167 117 38 12
812 Trim the sides. Keep the ducktail. 1.3713 0.04766 167 117 38 12
813 Could you just pluck a little off the top 1.3713 0.04613 167 115 42 10
814 Try not to disturb the nest. 1.3713 0.04534 167 114 44 9
815 You've heard of pigeon-toed? 1.3713 0.04766 167 117 38 12
816 A little less feathered. 1.3713 0.04842 167 118 36 13
817 My girlfriend said your last haircut looked like a birds nest. I guess she was right. 1.3713 0.04534 167 114 44 9
818 How about feathering the top and duck tails in the back? 1.3713 0.04613 167 115 42 10
819 Everyone says it looks like a bird's nest. 1.3713 0.04766 167 117 38 12
820 Just a shave, actually. 1.3713 0.04766 167 117 38 12
821 I’d like to go for something more hawkish this time. 1.3713 0.04766 167 117 38 12
822 Can you trim the sides without clipping the wings? 1.3713 0.04453 167 113 46 8
823 Who said anything about an elephant in the room? 1.3713 0.04690 167 116 40 11
824 I have a bird in the hair. Can you please find the other two more in the bush? 1.3713 0.04842 167 118 36 13
825 You still want a feathered look? 1.3713 0.04453 167 113 46 8
826 Not a mullet, definitely not a mullet. 1.3713 0.04842 167 121 31 14
827 It draws the attention away from my pigeon toes. 1.3704 0.04707 162 112 40 10
828 I'm tired of the feathered look. 1.3697 0.04955 165 118 33 14
829 Same style. Just a cleanup. 1.3697 0.04648 165 114 41 10
830 Just trim so the eggs don’t fall out. 1.3697 0.04955 165 118 33 14
831 In the UK we call this a hen do. 1.3697 0.05029 165 119 31 15
832 I was thinking more of a groovy Partridge Family look. 1.3697 0.04804 165 116 37 12
833 Just a pigeon off the top. 1.3697 0.04880 165 117 35 13
834 I like the style but can you do a bald eagle. 1.3697 0.04648 165 114 41 10
835 The last time,you feathered it too much. 1.3697 0.04804 165 116 37 12
836 Thanks. You did a great job with the feathered look. 1.3697 0.04567 165 113 43 9
837 Maybe just a little feathering on the top? 1.3697 0.04726 165 115 39 11
838 How about something that complements its seasonal migration patterns? 1.3697 0.04804 165 116 37 12
839 I want a haircut that doesn't make me look like an egghead. 1.3697 0.04804 165 114 37 11
840 I've changed my mind and I would prefer the chemical treatment for lice. 1.3697 0.04486 165 112 45 8
841 Just give the nest a quick trim. 1.3697 0.04880 165 117 35 13
842 Do you do layers? 1.3697 0.04955 165 118 33 14
843 The last barber clipped his wings. 1.3697 0.04648 165 114 41 10
844 I'll go with faux hawk this time. 1.3697 0.04804 165 116 37 12
845 He's just there to cover up the bald spot. 1.3697 0.04318 165 110 49 6
846 ...just a light trim. We still need the eggs. 1.3697 0.04648 165 114 41 10
847 OK....how are we doin' this?....and still be 6 feet apart? 1.3697 0.04955 165 118 33 14
848 I tell my customers to leave politics at the door. Call me the barber of civility. 1.3697 0.04955 165 118 33 14
849 I heard you give cheep haircuts 1.3689 0.05726 122 87 25 10
850 The bird? It's all the rage in the fight against male pattern baldness. 1.3688 0.05074 141 98 34 9
851 I'll take the usual trim. Just don't ruffle any feathers. 1.3687 0.04400 160 107 47 6
852 Make me look like I don't live with my parents. 1.3684 0.04610 171 119 41 11
853 I'd like short on the sides but comfortable up top. We're expecting chicks and want this nest to feel like a home. 1.3681 0.04996 163 117 32 14
854 Leave the bird. It keeps people from wanting to get within six feet of me. 1.3681 0.04519 163 111 44 8
855 Just take a little off the sides, leave the nest alone. 1.3681 0.04763 163 114 38 11
856 It's been a while. Why do you ask? 1.3681 0.04842 163 115 36 12
857 That`s the most realistic ducktail I’ve ever seen! 1.3681 0.04763 163 113 38 11
858 Feather cut? Why do you ask? 1.3675 0.04780 166 116 36 12
859 You got a better cut for male pattern birdnest? 1.3669 0.05320 139 99 29 11
860 No, we don’t sell toilet paper. 1.3665 0.04881 161 114 35 12
861 Take it off the top. 1.3654 0.04820 156 109 37 10
862 Three words: Cage-free eggs. 1.3653 0.04361 167 113 47 7
863 I always thought there was two in the bush. 1.3643 0.05090 140 98 33 9
864 I’m studying intensive urban agriculture. Why do you ask? 1.3631 0.04962 157 112 33 12
865 Actually, I'm perfectly qualified. I was a psychology major. 1.3624 0.04489 149 100 44 5
866 Just trim the sides Frank until he decides to fly north. 1.3600 0.05495 125 89 27 9
867 Yes, Joe, I tried a different barber. 1.3590 0.04543 156 112 34 10
868 Not at all, George. I appreciate the referral. 1.3590 0.04357 156 105 46 5
869 Looks like it’s been more than six weeks. 1.3590 0.04808 156 110 36 10
870 Hello again. I’ve had second thoughts. 1.3571 0.05076 140 99 32 9
871 You're the only one she can trust with her ducktail. 1.3571 0.04759 154 108 37 9
872 A while. Why? 1.3567 0.04783 157 111 36 10
873 Wife says I need my wings clipped. 1.3567 0.04783 157 111 36 10
874 It's got to be something the chicks will like... 1.3567 0.04783 157 111 36 10
875 Sorry I can't. Local and federal law prohibits disturbing or harassing nesting wildlife. 1.3567 0.04951 157 113 32 12
876 I asked for a mullet, not a pullet. 1.3554 0.05360 121 85 29 7
877 This time I want something more wild. 1.3553 0.04705 152 106 38 8
878 I get a wildlife tax exemption as long as I maintain the property. 1.3548 0.04553 155 107 41 7
879 She said she wants it as close to Jack sparrow as possible. 1.3548 0.04734 155 108 37 9
880 I’m hatching a plan. 1.3548 0.04553 155 107 41 7
881 You mean you've never heard of a coo-cut? 1.3548 0.04734 155 109 37 9
882 Just a feather cut, please. 1.3548 0.04460 155 106 43 6
883 Sorry, it’s a bit of a bird’s nest right now. 1.3548 0.04644 155 108 39 8
884 Removing the guano will be extra. 1.3548 0.04992 155 112 31 12
885 My therapist told me to cut down on my tweets. 1.3548 0.04821 155 110 35 10
886 Just a little off the sides. I like the feathered look. 1.3548 0.04644 155 108 39 8
887 I've always wanted a ducktail, just like grandpa's 1.3548 0.04821 155 110 35 10
888 I just need a little off the sides and a pigeon off the top. 1.3548 0.04460 155 106 43 6
889 I was going for the Hooded merganser but now I'd like to try something a little less flamboyant. 1.3548 0.04907 155 111 33 11
890 Call me a Luddite but I'll take carrier pigeons over cellphones any day. 1.3548 0.04734 155 109 37 9
891 Well, I don't see the big difference between this and a beehive. 1.3548 0.04644 155 108 39 8
892 Is there a way we can hide my male-pattern birdness? 1.3548 0.04365 155 105 45 5
893 Way too long since my last haircut. But at least it isn’t a rat’s nest... 1.3548 0.04460 155 106 43 6
894 You Got any Ideas on how to pull this off...? 1.3548 0.04460 155 106 43 6
895 Cut $13, bird priceless 1.3548 0.04553 155 107 41 7
896 A little off the top. 1.3548 0.04553 155 107 41 7
897 Trim the tail and clip the wings, but leave the nest as is. 1.3548 0.04734 155 109 37 9
898 The interview with the Audubon Society went great. 1.3548 0.04268 155 104 47 4
899 Last time you feathered it too much. 1.3548 0.04734 155 109 37 9
900 I’m sorry I’m no longer doing feather cuts at this time. 1.3548 0.04268 155 104 47 4
901 At first, he was just to help with social distancing. But now, I'm not sure I can go on without him. 1.3548 0.04317 155 107 42 6
902 Do you have a cut that appeals to chicks? 1.3548 0.04992 155 112 31 12
903 But can you cut my hair from six feet away? 1.3548 0.04907 155 111 33 11
904 Yes just don't mention her W-E-I-G-H-T 1.3543 0.05187 127 89 31 7
905 Just lightly feathered, please. 1.3533 0.04647 150 104 39 7
906 Just me today, she got her wings clipped last week 1.3533 0.04743 150 105 37 8
907 How did you know that I live in the park? 1.3533 0.04550 150 103 41 6
908 A little feathering should do nicely. 1.3533 0.04647 150 104 39 7
909 I think the date went really well, all things considered. 1.3529 0.04771 153 108 36 9
910 Hey, it beats having a tacky comb over. 1.3529 0.04587 153 106 40 7
911 I don't have a mobile. She delivers all my messages 1.3529 0.04680 153 107 38 8
912 Feathered, not layered, please. 1.3529 0.04948 153 110 32 11
913 My wife's nesting instinct has gotten out of control. 1.3529 0.04861 153 109 34 10
914 so just a bit off the sides then? 1.3529 0.04587 153 106 40 7
915 Feather it. Like his. 1.3529 0.04680 153 106 38 7
916 It's my homie pigeon. 1.3529 0.04587 153 106 40 7
917 I usually have my partridge down the middle. 1.3529 0.04861 153 109 34 10
918 Short back and sides and be sure to leave it long around the eggs 1.3529 0.04587 153 106 40 7
919 You really thought this was what I meant when I said, "Something all the chicks will love"? 1.3529 0.04861 153 109 34 10
920 Yes, it's no longer a rat's nest, but... 1.3529 0.04861 153 109 34 10
921 This is not going to end well, is it? 1.3529 0.04861 153 109 34 10
922 In the spirit of social distancing, I’ll be cutting your hair from 6-feet away. 1.3529 0.04948 153 110 32 11
923 She'd like her wings clipped. 1.3529 0.04493 153 105 42 6
924 Thanks for taking me without an appointment, my hair is a real bird's nest. 1.3529 0.04861 153 109 34 10
925 What? Is there egg on my face? 1.3529 0.04493 153 105 42 6
926 The social distancing guideline is silent on birds. 1.3529 0.04771 153 108 36 9
927 Just a trim and a preening, please 1.3529 0.04771 153 108 36 9
928 that's not what I meant when I called you a pecker-head. 1.3529 0.04861 153 109 34 10
929 Trim, no problem, easier than the usual "rats nest", 1.3529 0.04587 153 106 40 7
930 The usual, Sam, but not too short around the tail feathers. 1.3529 0.04680 153 107 38 8
931 I like the nest. It’s just the bird that I’d like removed. 1.3529 0.04396 153 104 44 5
932 I think I just need a little bit off the top. 1.3529 0.04948 153 110 32 11
933 Can I switch to a ducktail? 1.3529 0.04948 153 110 32 11
934 I take it sir, that you have not had a cut for some time. 1.3529 0.04587 153 106 40 7
935 I'm Walter Pidgeon's son. You used to cut his hair. 1.3529 0.04680 153 107 38 8
936 Tapered sides, straight in the back, and nothing off the top. 1.3529 0.04680 153 107 38 8
937 I have a two-for-one coupon... 1.3529 0.04861 153 109 34 10
938 We are incubating now so just a trim at the sides 1.3529 0.04297 153 103 46 4
939 Yes, I do use birdseed-infused shampoo. Why do you ask? 1.3529 0.04680 153 107 38 8
940 Can you make him look more presidential? 1.3529 0.05119 153 112 28 13
941 Well, of course our charges would not affect your nest egg! 1.3529 0.04771 153 108 36 9
942 We are just looking for something quick and cheep 1.3529 0.04771 153 108 36 9
943 Only a little off the top. It's endangered." 1.3529 0.04680 153 107 38 8
944 And could you leave the clippings on my head please. 1.3529 0.04861 153 109 34 10
945 HAWK! I said I wanted a moHAWK! 1.3529 0.04680 153 107 38 8
946 Would you like to be nest? 1.3529 0.04587 153 106 40 7
947 Ok Jim, lets wing it and feather the back. 1.3529 0.04861 153 109 34 10
948 Do you charge extra for feathering? 1.3529 0.04493 153 105 42 6
949 When I told me mom a guy flipped me the bird she said "don't let it go to your head" 1.3529 0.04948 153 110 32 11
950 She says it’s called “Nesting in Place. “ 1.3529 0.05034 153 111 30 12
951 Thought it may help as my hair is also migrating south 1.3529 0.05034 153 111 30 12
952 Tight on the sides, but keep the top feathery. 1.3529 0.04587 153 106 40 7
953 Well, it's not really a feather in my cap, but... 1.3529 0.04771 153 108 36 9
954 Just take a smigeon off the top please. 1.3529 0.04861 153 109 34 10
955 I appreciate your hand, but there are actually two bird in this bush. 1.3529 0.04771 153 108 36 9
956 Let’s go short on the sides, keep it feathered on top. 1.3529 0.04587 153 106 40 7
957 With all this concern about COVID-19 I can see you’ve been “cooped” up for a while”. 1.3529 0.04587 153 106 40 7
958 Just like last time, Bob. A little off the top. Shorter in back. Feathered. 1.3529 0.04680 153 107 38 8
959 Can you do a 1950’s style duck tail? 1.3525 0.05450 122 87 27 8
960 It's cheaper than a toupée. 1.3521 0.04916 142 100 34 8
961 Spring cleaning; just a little trim around the nest. 1.3521 0.04602 142 97 40 5
962 Please be gentle, it’s his first time. 1.3519 0.06074 108 79 20 9
963 Male pattern baldnesting. 1.3514 0.04585 148 102 40 6
964 I lost a bet" 1.3514 0.04781 148 104 36 8
965 Shave it all off. I'd rather look like egghead than actually be one. 1.3514 0.05816 111 80 23 8
966 Let's just say a little bird told me you do good work. 1.3510 0.04526 151 104 41 6
967 It's a Moe hawk. 1.3510 0.04901 151 108 33 10
968 I thought I'd ordered a Google Nest, but I might have hit the wrong button... 1.3510 0.04810 151 107 35 9
969 She's my emotional support bird! 1.3510 0.04526 151 102 41 6
970 Please be careful of the eggs. 1.3510 0.04622 151 105 39 7
971 No, I don’t know why I’ve been feeling a little down lately. 1.3510 0.04901 151 108 33 10
972 You should see my toes 1.3510 0.04990 151 109 31 11
973 Free-range toupee. 1.3510 0.04717 151 106 37 8
974 Wow, is that a Larry Bird hair cut! I haven't seen one of those since the 80's! Time flies huh? 1.3510 0.04901 151 108 33 10
975 Feathered on the side and ruffled in the back. 1.3500 0.05061 140 100 31 9
976 Just neaten up the nest, please. 1.3500 0.04854 140 98 35 7
977 So... how much is a bird in the hair worth? 1.3500 0.04959 140 99 33 8
978 I just don’t think this makes me look cocky enough. 1.3500 0.04854 140 98 35 7
979 Could you give me a feathered look? 1.3500 0.05378 120 85 28 7
980 But your sign only says 'No shirt, no shoes, no service'" 1.3497 0.04682 143 99 38 6
981 When I’m done, you may have the “ empty nester” condition: but it will pass 1.3492 0.05203 126 89 30 7
982 One of those in-flew-encers, huh? 1.3490 0.04942 149 107 32 10
983 You know...I think I'd like to try something new for change. 1.3490 0.04755 149 105 36 8
984 Anything more than a trim and I need a variance. 1.3490 0.04658 149 104 38 7
985 Feather it. 1.3490 0.04356 149 101 44 4
986 I think the twigs could use a trim. 1.3490 0.04658 149 104 38 7
987 I really needed the eggs 1.3490 0.04942 149 107 32 10
988 Be careful, she's brooding. 1.3490 0.04658 149 104 38 7
989 Just a trim and a pluck. 1.3490 0.04755 149 105 36 8
990 I'm pretty sure once you start buzzing it'll fly off. 1.3490 0.04658 149 104 38 7
991 I'll need the clippings for our living room nest. 1.3490 0.04755 149 105 36 8
992 I asked for a beehive 1.3490 0.05296 149 111 24 14
993 Me? No, but he just wants a trim. 1.3490 0.04755 149 105 36 8
994 I'll probably end up like my father—bald as a coot. 1.3490 0.04849 149 106 34 9
995 How about a dove tail? 1.3490 0.04755 149 105 36 8
996 It was either that or a MAGA cap. 1.3490 0.04942 149 107 32 10
997 Could you do something about these flyaways? 1.3490 0.04560 149 103 40 6
998 I'd like a feathered style. I don't know about the guy below me. 1.3490 0.04849 149 106 34 9
999 Not off the top of my head. 1.3490 0.04755 149 109 27 11
1000 You keep cutting it, and it keeps coming back. 1.3490 0.05033 149 108 30 11
1001 Can you just cut around it? My paperwork to remove him is still being processed by the city. 1.3490 0.04849 149 106 34 9
1002 The eviction notice didn't work, so maybe this will. 1.3490 0.05122 149 108 28 12
1003 Just a trim, and rotate the eggs. 1.3490 0.04755 149 105 36 8
1004 Just give me the Audubon. 1.3490 0.05033 149 108 30 11
1005 It's her call 1.3490 0.05122 149 109 28 12
1006 I think I'm done with the feathered look. 1.3490 0.04658 149 104 38 7
1007 Please don’t take an egg, she’ll peck me the whole ride home. 1.3490 0.04755 149 105 36 8
1008 I'm tired of the pigeon point, could I have a duck tail? 1.3490 0.05033 149 108 30 11
1009 I just don't want it *looking* like a bird's nest. 1.3490 0.04658 149 104 38 7
1010 Give me corn rows. 1.3490 0.04849 149 106 34 9
1011 Duck, duck, mousse" 1.3490 0.04942 149 107 32 10
1012 Nothing off the top. 1.3490 0.04755 149 105 36 8
1013 I'm sorry, but the special price is only for empty nesters. 1.3490 0.04942 149 107 32 10
1014 Well, I was going for a faux hawk. 1.3490 0.04849 149 106 34 9
1015 I said a mohawk, not a dovetail 1.3490 0.05033 149 108 30 11
1016 I was hoping I could pay you in fresh eggs? 1.3490 0.04849 149 106 34 9
1017 Don't worry about how it looks, I'm sure it'll help with social distancing. 1.3490 0.04755 149 105 36 8
1018 I'd like a little off the sides and keep the top feathered. 1.3490 0.04658 149 103 38 7
1019 Don't disturb the eggs. 1.3490 0.04942 149 107 32 10
1020 It all started with that ducktail.... 1.3490 0.04658 149 104 37 7
1021 Should I come back after the egg hatches? 1.3490 0.04658 149 104 38 7
1022 I tried peanut butter, but that just made it worse. 1.3490 0.05033 149 108 30 11
1023 A little off the back and clip the wings, please. 1.3490 0.04849 149 106 34 9
1024 Short in the back, over the ears, and leave a little bird on top. 1.3490 0.04849 149 105 34 9
1025 Are you thinking that a beehive would have been a better choice? 1.3490 0.04849 149 106 34 9
1026 Please don't Fowl this up. 1.3490 0.04849 149 106 34 9
1027 Yeah-I got a fowl haircut-can you do anything with this? 1.3490 0.04849 149 106 34 9
1028 no no his wings are already clipped. 1.3490 0.04755 149 105 36 8
1029 Ever since you stopped spiking my hair. 1.3490 0.04251 149 100 46 3
1030 I was thinking something a little more... falcony? 1.3490 0.04658 149 104 38 7
1031 At first, she was just using other peoples' hair to make her nest... 1.3490 0.04942 149 107 32 10
1032 My wife insists this will help with my empty nest syndrome" 1.3490 0.04755 149 105 36 8
1033 Well not so much a trim... just a little nest maintenance. 1.3490 0.04849 149 105 34 9
1034 So same as last time, please, just a little off the sides, leave the nest alone. 1.3490 0.04755 149 105 36 8
1035 I think just take a little off of the tail feathers today. 1.3490 0.04356 149 101 44 4
1036 My bald spot was becoming too noticeable 1.3490 0.04942 149 107 32 10
1037 Just a shave today, the eggs are gonna hatch any time now. 1.3490 0.04849 149 106 34 9
1038 Don't worry. He's more distant than social. 1.3490 0.04755 149 105 36 8
1039 I'm short of cash. Can I trade you for some free-range products? 1.3490 0.04849 149 106 34 9
1040 Oh, I thought you said "Nest!" 1.3490 0.04658 149 104 38 7
1041 This time I need a nest that speaks to my being vibrant and compassionate, stylish not cutesy and available but not anxious." 1.3490 0.05122 149 109 28 12
1042 One in the hair is worth two in the bush. 1.3490 0.05033 149 108 30 11
1043 Thank goodness the beehive went out of style. 1.3475 0.04930 141 100 33 8
1044 It’s called a faux hawk, grandpa. 1.3475 0.05131 141 102 29 10
1045 Coo cut, please. 1.3475 0.05325 141 104 25 12
1046 Why do you look so suprised Jerry?Everybody's heard about the bird. 1.3475 0.05229 141 103 27 11
1047 I cant seem to shake the bird flu. 1.3475 0.05565 118 85 25 8
1048 We’re ready for new look. 1.3472 0.04860 144 102 34 8
1049 Just a little bit off the beak, please. 1.3469 0.04793 147 104 35 8
1050 I find this to be effective for social distancing. 1.3469 0.04793 147 104 35 8
1051 It's a bit of a mess...but at least it's not a total rat's nest. 1.3469 0.04793 147 104 35 8
1052 I told you if you keep clipping his wings he'll never leave." 1.3469 0.04984 147 106 31 10
1053 What IS it with your generation? You’re almost 30! It’s definitely time to leave the nest! 1.3469 0.04889 147 105 33 9
1054 Just take a pidge off the top. 1.3469 0.04793 147 104 35 8
1055 Not too short, he's insecure about his toes. 1.3469 0.04889 147 104 33 9
1056 It’s two things really. The combination of not cutting my hair, and being outside all the time. 1.3469 0.04793 147 104 35 8
1057 my wife says just a trim..we used to be empty nesters 1.3469 0.04595 147 102 39 6
1058 ...but I save a ton on mousse. 1.3469 0.04793 147 104 35 8
1059 Yes, I'm fully aware that I'm not wearing any shoes. 1.3469 0.04984 147 106 31 10
1060 I’ve got a real problem with fly-aways. Can you help me? 1.3469 0.05076 147 107 29 11
1061 A little birdie told me that you give good haircuts. 1.3469 0.05076 147 107 29 11
1062 What toupee? 1.3469 0.04280 147 104 37 6
1063 Just a trim, we're still bonding. 1.3456 0.04712 136 94 37 5
1064 I really don't need a haircut, but could you do something about the bird on my head...? 1.3453 0.04758 139 97 36 6
1065 He’s sheltering in place so just cut around him. 1.3453 0.05076 139 100 30 9
1066 I'd like the bird off the top, but let the nest grow a bit... 1.3453 0.04758 139 97 36 6
1067 High fade with a nest over. 1.3453 0.04972 139 99 32 8
1068 I used to carry her in my hand, but she wanted more. 1.3453 0.05277 139 102 26 11
1069 Could be worse; could be a rat. 1.3453 0.05277 139 102 26 11
1070 We're here for the 2-for-1 special. 1.3453 0.05076 139 100 30 9
1071 Do you have a two for one deal? 1.3453 0.04972 139 99 32 8
1072 She's really attached to me. 1.3451 0.04798 142 100 35 7
1073 They were out of beehives. 1.3451 0.04901 142 101 33 8
1074 It's novel here, but Europe embraced it years ago. 1.3451 0.04901 142 101 33 8
1075 It really helps with the social distancing 1.3448 0.04525 145 100 40 5
1076 Think Ratatouille, but instead of fine dining it’s Trump speech writing and policy advising. 1.3448 0.05027 145 105 30 10
1077 Can you do a ducktail? 1.3448 0.04630 145 101 38 6
1078 Yeah, just feather it. 1.3448 0.04418 145 99 42 4
1079 Just give me a standard cut that won’t ruffle any feathers. 1.3448 0.04732 145 102 36 7
1080 Can you feather the sides? 1.3448 0.04630 145 101 38 6
1081 I want a fair and Balanced haircut. Nothing too left-wing. 1.3448 0.04832 145 103 34 8
1082 Thank goodness it's not a Bald Eagle. 1.3448 0.04732 145 102 36 7
1083 Yes, it has been a while since my last hair cut. 1.3448 0.04630 145 101 38 6
1084 ''Gotten so bad I can't tell wig from twig anymore.'' 1.3448 0.04832 145 103 34 8
1085 I couldn't quite afford a bird in the hand" 1.3448 0.04630 145 101 38 6
1086 Is this where I get tested for the bird flu? 1.3448 0.05027 145 105 30 10
1087 Will you check the message to see if it's bad news or good? 1.3448 0.04732 145 102 36 7
1088 It eats the lice. 1.3448 0.04630 145 101 38 6
1089 I think he is ready to move out 1.3448 0.04930 145 104 32 9
1090 It's better than last year's rat's nest! 1.3448 0.04930 145 104 32 9
1091 Do you still do ducktails? 1.3448 0.04732 145 102 36 7
1092 It was a simple choice. I just happen to prefer ducks to bats in the belfry. 1.3448 0.05027 145 105 30 10
1093 Actually, bird poop is a pretty good conditioner. 1.3448 0.04930 145 104 32 9
1094 Everyone's been asking me that today. 1.3448 0.04630 145 101 38 6
1095 A little bird told me your are the best barber in town. 1.3446 0.04862 148 106 33 9
1096 just clip his wings. 1.3445 0.05395 119 85 27 7
1097 Just an undercut, please. I need her for my bald spot. 1.3445 0.05395 119 85 27 7
1098 Just the usual trim around the nest, Mr Plaskett. 1.3435 0.04819 131 91 35 5
1099 I asked for a Faux Hawk, dude. 1.3429 0.04620 140 97 38 5
1100 This time I want you to show me the back. 1.3429 0.05245 140 103 26 11
1101 You need to remove your hat 1.3429 0.04943 140 100 32 8
1102 Give it a good trim but don't make me look like an egg-head 1.3429 0.04838 140 99 34 7
1103 A little around the ears, and a lot off the top. 1.3429 0.04943 140 99 32 8
1104 I haven't had a haircut for months: it's starting to feel like a bloody birds' nest. 1.3429 0.04730 140 98 36 6
1105 If you get one, we could start a quartet.” 1.3429 0.04943 140 100 32 8
1106 I'm on my way to the psychiatrist for a joke setup. 1.3429 0.04943 140 100 32 8
1107 Why did you bring this man into my bird salon? 1.3429 0.05245 140 103 26 11
1108 Shave it off completely he thinks he's a bald eagle. 1.3429 0.05147 140 102 28 10
1109 He's quite a head-scratcher, I must admit 1.3429 0.04838 140 99 34 7
1110 If you’re hiring, my friend here is a combing pigeon. 1.3429 0.04620 140 97 38 5
1111 I know we were in isolation for a while,but how did it get this bad? 1.3429 0.05046 140 101 30 9
1112 It helps keep social distancing... 1.3429 0.04620 140 97 38 5
1113 No, I can't stop the migration of your hairline. 1.3429 0.05147 140 102 28 10
1114 Dad, I'm finally ready to take over the business." "No you're not. 1.3429 0.05342 140 104 24 12
1115 I just need a trim. And can you pluck a little off the top? 1.3429 0.04620 140 96 38 5
1116 Can you make this into a Beehive? 1.3429 0.05147 140 102 28 10
1117 Just trim the nest, keep the bird. 1.3429 0.04943 140 100 32 8
1118 For dandruff control, he’s head and shoulders above the rest. 1.3429 0.05046 140 101 30 9
1119 Do you work for cheep? 1.3427 0.04973 143 103 31 9
1120 Now that the eggs have hatched, I need a trim. 1.3427 0.04873 143 102 33 8
1121 This time make me more of a chick magnet. 1.3427 0.04873 143 101 33 8
1122 I'd like to color it teal. 1.3427 0.04973 143 101 31 9
1123 Yeah, maybe just take a bit off the top. 1.3427 0.04338 143 102 35 6
1124 Just here for a trim and a pluck 1.3427 0.04873 143 102 33 8
1125 Just trim around the hedges today. 1.3427 0.04450 143 98 41 4
1126 No, just get rid of the droppings! 1.3427 0.04873 143 102 33 8
1127 Um, excuse me? I think you clipped a wing. 1.3427 0.04559 143 104 31 8
1128 It's been a long quarantine. 1.3427 0.04559 143 99 39 5
1129 Actually, it's 'a bird in the HAIR is worth two in the bush' and you should see my wife. 1.3427 0.04973 143 103 31 9
1130 My wife didn’t like the duck tail, I’m not crazy about this one, so what’s next? 1.3427 0.04973 143 103 31 9
1131 She thinks I'm the father 1.3427 0.04973 143 103 31 9
1132 He's afraid of scissors. 1.3427 0.04666 143 100 37 6
1133 Just a cleanup around the nest. 1.3427 0.04873 143 102 33 8
1134 Just trim around him, please. I need him to carry me back home. 1.3427 0.04873 143 102 33 8
1135 We’ll have the usual. 1.3427 0.03857 143 98 43 2
1136 Just sides and neck for now. 1.3427 0.04666 143 100 37 6
1137 Could you just work around him? He’s actually a stool pigeon, but now that the governor has closed all of the bars he has limited options . . .” 1.3427 0.04770 143 101 35 7
1138 Trim for me; D.A. for Bob. 1.3427 0.04973 143 103 31 9
1139 Keep the length on top and feather the sides. 1.3427 0.04973 143 103 31 9
1140 I think you might have feathered the sides a little too much last cut. 1.3427 0.04559 143 99 39 5
1141 I can’t find my way home without him... 1.3427 0.04873 143 102 33 8
1142 Give me a flattop. I’m upgrading to a carrier drone. 1.3427 0.04873 143 102 33 8
1143 I heard this was the place to get a cheep cut 1.3427 0.04666 143 100 37 6
1144 This style came to me while I was sitting on a park bench. It’s been the rage on statues for years. 1.3427 0.05071 143 104 29 10
1145 With the banks closing,I had to find a new home for my nest egg. 1.3427 0.04873 143 101 33 8
1146 She’s nesting, so just take a little off the sides.” 1.3427 0.04873 143 102 33 8
1147 Thanks, my hair used to be a real rat's nest. 1.3427 0.04666 143 105 29 9
1148 Do you do a feathered cut? 1.3407 0.05060 135 97 30 8
1149 Can you work around this? 1.3406 0.04541 138 95 39 4
1150 People are tweeting about you. 1.3406 0.04878 138 98 33 7
1151 I need a PETA cure. 1.3406 0.05193 138 101 27 10
1152 My girlfriend said she’d make it worth my while if I helped with her ornithology project. 1.3406 0.04986 138 99 31 8
1153 I don’t mean to ruffle you’re feathers, but I think I can take a little off the top. 1.3406 0.04878 138 98 33 7
1154 I didn't know this is what you meant by a "feather cut" when you called for an appointment. 1.3406 0.04656 138 96 37 5
1155 I'm looking not so much for a haircut but for a nest modification 1.3406 0.04878 138 98 33 7
1156 The sky is falling. 1.3406 0.04878 138 98 33 7
1157 I don't think you're supposed to put the birdseed IN your hair. 1.3406 0.05091 138 100 29 9
1158 I thought that was just an expression 1.3406 0.04878 138 98 33 7
1159 He's kept me company through the divorce 1.3406 0.04656 138 96 37 5
1160 Just feather the sides,please. 1.3406 0.04769 138 96 35 6
1161 Something more cool, with less coo. 1.3404 0.04914 141 101 32 8
1162 It was between roost or Rogaine and I went with roost. 1.3404 0.05116 141 103 28 10
1163 Don't worry, she'll get off as soon as she hatches. 1.3404 0.04368 141 96 42 3
1164 My last barber has been leaving too much on top. 1.3404 0.04703 141 99 36 6
1165 You've got mail 1.3404 0.04809 141 100 34 7
1166 Yes my name is Mo and yes this is a hawk. Now, can we get started. 1.3404 0.04703 141 99 36 6
1167 Your hair sure does look like a bird's nest this morning. 1.3404 0.04594 141 103 30 8
1168 His wife got the virus so he's been staying with me. 1.3404 0.04914 141 101 32 8
1169 Well, we can always use the eggs. 1.3404 0.05016 141 102 30 9
1170 This isn't what I had in mind when I asked you to feather my hair. 1.3404 0.04809 141 100 34 7
1171 Ironically, my wife always said my hair was like a rat's nest. 1.3404 0.04914 141 101 32 8
1172 Keep it short on the sides and just wing it on top 1.3404 0.04703 141 99 36 6
1173 So...we were empty nesters until 2020 hit. Submitted by Lucia Jaccaci 1.3404 0.05016 141 102 30 9
1174 Iam a barber, not a ornithologist! 1.3404 0.04809 141 100 34 7
1175 "A little birdie told me I need a cut. 1.3403 0.04944 144 104 31 9
1176 You're not one of those barbers who is worried about habitat destruction, are you? 1.3403 0.04534 144 100 39 5
1177 Oh, you weren't kidding when you said you needed help with the bird's nest! 1.3403 0.04534 144 100 39 5
1178 I don’t think I joined the right hair club. 1.3391 0.05508 115 83 25 7
1179 Not too short. Just feather it a little bit, please 1.3382 0.05029 136 98 30 8
1180 Can I give you a hand with that bird in your bush? 1.3382 0.05137 136 99 28 9
1181 What do you think, buddy? Do we trust him to cut my hair? 1.3382 0.04576 136 94 38 4
1182 It's a pigeon why? 1.3382 0.04808 136 96 34 6
1183 Just take off your social distancing device and I'll give you a nice trim 1.3382 0.04693 136 95 36 5
1184 The bird will be $20 more 1.3382 0.05029 136 98 30 8
1185 Are you sure the ducktail is trending? 1.3382 0.05137 136 99 28 9
1186 They call me egg head for a good reason 1.3382 0.05029 136 98 30 8
1187 How much to take a little pigeon off the top? 1.3382 0.04920 136 97 32 7
1188 Just facing the fact that people always notices toupees 1.3381 0.05060 139 101 29 9
1189 Climate change. She refuses to fly south. 1.3381 0.05060 139 101 29 9
1190 Just a little around the tail feathers. 1.3381 0.04956 139 100 31 8
1191 Short on the sides, long on top, leave the eggs. 1.3381 0.04956 139 100 31 8
1192 Just ask him...I'm only a carrier. 1.3381 0.04398 139 95 41 3
1193 A little bird off the top,please. 1.3381 0.04956 139 100 31 8
1194 How strong is your blow dryer? 1.3381 0.04629 139 97 37 5
1195 I said I wanted a Duck TAIL, not the whole duck. 1.3381 0.04849 139 99 33 7
1196 The bird will fly, but it's the eggs and twigs that will be tricky. 1.3381 0.04956 139 100 31 8
1197 It’s already feathered, I just need a trim. 1.3381 0.04629 139 97 37 5
1198 She would like to keep the clippings. 1.3381 0.05060 139 101 29 9
1199 I use to have hair brain ideas but now its different. 1.3381 0.05060 139 101 29 9
1200 Just a few feathers off the top. 1.3381 0.05060 139 101 29 9
1201 Same as last time. 1.3381 0.05060 139 101 29 9
1202 Summer's coming--take it down to a sparrow this time. 1.3381 0.04956 139 100 31 8
1203 The other guys just cut around her. I don't see the problem here. 1.3381 0.05162 139 102 27 10
1204 Just a trim around eggs. 1.3381 0.04956 139 100 31 8
1205 Just a little off the top and be careful of the eggs. 1.3381 0.04849 139 99 33 7
1206 He keeps my head warm, so if you can just clean up the sides and back. 1.3381 0.04515 139 96 39 4
1207 Just a nest trim, please. 1.3381 0.04741 139 98 35 6
1208 Just trim around the ears, Mel. The rest is protected by the migratory bird act. 1.3381 0.04849 139 99 33 7
1209 Sit down. I can fix that foul haircut. 1.3381 0.04849 139 99 33 7
1210 Just dropped by to say hi. I'll be back after the eggs hatch. 1.3381 0.05162 139 102 27 10
1211 I'd like a little off the sides and back please. 1.3381 0.04629 139 97 37 5
1212 Why? She keeps my head dry when it rains. 1.3381 0.04956 139 100 31 8
1213 Shall I trim around the nest or take it down? 1.3381 0.04849 139 99 33 7
1214 I am here to reschedule my appointment. They haven't hatched yet. 1.3381 0.04398 139 95 41 3
1215 It’s mating season. Let’s try something new. 1.3381 0.04741 139 97 35 6
1216 I see what you mean by "flyaways" 1.3381 0.04849 139 99 33 7
1217 Finally got rid of the Mullet? I'm not sure this is an improvement. 1.3381 0.04629 139 97 37 5
1218 Don’t scare her I need the eggs for breakfast 1.3381 0.04956 139 100 31 8
1219 Short on the sides, and clip the wings a bit on the top. 1.3381 0.04741 139 98 35 6
1220 I want to keep my city look 1.3381 0.05060 139 101 29 9
1221 I'd like it feathered, please. 1.3381 0.04956 139 100 31 8
1222 He wants us to get a Bro-Hawk. 1.3381 0.05162 139 102 27 10
1223 She gave me an ultimatum! It was this or the elephant in the room. 1.3381 0.04956 139 100 31 8
1224 It takes care of my bald spot and my dandruff. 1.3381 0.05162 139 102 27 10
1225 Just a shave today. 1.3381 0.04956 139 100 31 8
1226 Just a light trim around the edges, please. She's sheltering in place. 1.3381 0.04956 139 100 31 8
1227 I'm just here for a shave. 1.3381 0.05060 139 101 29 9
1228 I'll need a shampoo today. My hair's a nest, Jack. 1.3381 0.04629 139 97 37 5
1229 I’d like a little off the top— SHE’d like a lot off the bottom 1.3381 0.04629 139 102 29 8
1230 Can you make it less nest-like? 1.3381 0.04629 139 97 37 5
1231 Rememer the duck’s ass? Well, this is the whole mallard. 1.3381 0.04956 139 100 31 8
1232 Wow! You really do have a birds nest in there. 1.3381 0.04956 139 100 31 8
1233 Leave a little on top for the chicks. 1.3381 0.04629 139 97 37 5
1234 Just take a tweet off the top. 1.3381 0.04849 139 99 33 7
1235 Could you take a little duck off the top? 1.3381 0.04956 139 100 31 8
1236 You can't catch it if we stay six feet apart. 1.3381 0.04956 139 100 31 8
1237 And be sure to steer clear of the eggs. 1.3381 0.04956 139 100 31 8
1238 This was the only way I could get him to tell me why he crossed the road. 1.3381 0.04629 139 97 37 5
1239 Her name Is Corona. 1.3381 0.04956 139 100 31 8
1240 Don’t worry. We’ve both been tested. 1.3381 0.04956 139 100 31 8
1241 Well, I use a conditioner for fly-away hair. Why? 1.3381 0.04956 139 100 31 8
1242 Let's take a little more off the top this time. 1.3381 0.04741 139 98 35 6
1243 I thought it said “ A Bird on the Head Is worth Two in the Bush...” and I just got used to it. 1.3381 0.04741 139 97 35 6
1244 I'd like a mohawk. 1.3381 0.04956 139 100 31 8
1245 This is not what I meant when I said to "wing it". 1.3381 0.04956 139 100 31 8
1246 Okay, who’s nest. 1.3381 0.04849 139 99 33 7
1247 Social distancing kept me away for so long this bird nested in my hair and well, you know how it is . . . 1.3381 0.04741 139 98 35 6
1248 I hear feathered hair is in again. 1.3381 0.04629 139 97 37 5
1249 Save the trimmings for her nest, won’t you? 1.3381 0.04629 139 97 37 5
1250 No, just the sides. The dove will take care of the rest 1.3381 0.04956 139 99 31 8
1251 My wife says it's a protected species 1.3381 0.04956 139 100 31 8
1252 Could you squeeze us in. We have an early bird appointment with Mr. Worm tomorrow. 1.3381 0.04849 139 99 33 7
1253 It's grown back so fast, it’s almost like it flew on. 1.3380 0.04885 142 102 32 8
1254 I want it to look more like my natural hair. 1.3358 0.05074 134 97 29 8
1255 Yes. I am Ian Peartree. 1.3358 0.04962 134 96 31 7
1256 Are you open? 1.3358 0.04962 134 96 31 7
1257 Could your shop use a combing pigeon? 1.3358 0.05184 134 98 27 9
1258 Just my opinion, but I think it’s time for Antonio to retire 1.3358 0.04779 137 97 34 6
1259 Do you do specialty cuts? 1.3358 0.04665 137 95 36 5
1260 How much to trim the nest? 1.3358 0.05209 137 101 26 10
1261 Trim only. Her three eggs have a couple weeks to go. 1.3358 0.04999 137 99 30 8
1262 You're not some sort of lay psychiatrist, right? 1.3358 0.04890 137 98 32 7
1263 The bird's nest worked fine, but this time I think I'll go for a duck tail. 1.3358 0.04665 137 96 36 5
1264 Haircut? Yep, it's about that ptarmigan. 1.3358 0.04999 137 99 30 8
1265 Son, maybe you'd better wait for Spring. 1.3358 0.04890 137 98 32 7
1266 Make it free range, but not too short 1.3358 0.04429 137 94 40 3
1267 Sorry, Phil. Now she says it's TOO feathered. 1.3358 0.04779 137 97 34 6
1268 I need a look that pays tribute to my parents as empty nesters. 1.3358 0.04999 137 99 30 8
1269 A trim is $20, but we don't take deposits. 1.3358 0.05311 137 102 24 11
1270 Work around it 1.3358 0.04779 137 97 34 6
1271 He's sheltering in place. So, just a light trim around him, please" 1.3358 0.04665 137 96 36 5
1272 I'd like a crew cut and a feather duster. 1.3358 0.05209 137 101 26 10
1273 Check the label on your hair conditioner . 1.3358 0.04665 137 96 36 5
1274 I'm trying to grow out the top 1.3358 0.04890 137 98 32 7
1275 Feathered style please. 1.3358 0.04665 137 96 36 5
1276 I just need a good trim for my Ducktail. 1.3358 0.04999 137 99 30 8
1277 I got tired of the comb over. 1.3358 0.05209 137 101 26 10
1278 How about faux hawk this time? 1.3358 0.04999 137 99 30 8
1279 Just a smidgen off the top. 1.3357 0.05029 140 102 29 9
1280 We're flying south for the winter. 1.3357 0.04373 140 96 41 3
1281 It isn't exactly killing two birds with one stone but... 1.3357 0.04926 140 101 31 8
1282 She's socially isolating from her flock 1.3357 0.04713 140 99 35 6
1283 It's called a hairstyle, Boomer. Something you obviously know nothing about. 1.3333 0.05006 132 95 30 7
1284 She wants a complete remodel. Something more contemporary. 1.3333 0.04769 132 93 34 5
1285 I’d like you to deconstruct the dovetail and give me a bald eagle. 1.3333 0.05177 138 102 26 10
1286 'Who are you calling bald-crested?' 1.3333 0.04889 132 94 32 6
1287 I’ll go with the Mohawk instead of the Modove this time. 1.3333 0.05336 120 87 26 7
1288 What are you looking at? 1.3333 0.05336 120 87 26 7
1289 How much to remove a bird nest? 1.3333 0.05120 132 96 28 8
1290 Need a new look, I went in over my head and it cries out "cheep 1.3309 0.05145 139 103 26 10
1291 Just a tit off the top. 1.3308 0.04931 130 93 31 6
1292 New York, am I right. 1.3306 0.05213 124 90 27 7
1293 I was being literal.. 1.3302 0.05482 106 76 25 5
1294 I'm told they call it the "'Man Bird.' 1.3284 0.05273 134 100 24 10
1295 I told you, I can't cut your hair if you show signs of Birdflu. 1.3282 0.05134 131 96 27 8
1296 The grey is starting to make me feel self-conscious. 1.3282 0.05247 131 97 25 9
1297 I'd like a little off the sides he'd like a little off the top. 1.3282 0.04778 131 93 33 5
1298 Just a little off the top, please. 1.3282 0.04900 131 94 31 6
1299 I got rid of my cell phone a while ago, but then I really missed the chirping. 1.3282 0.04654 131 92 35 4
1300 It started as a bird in a bush. 1.3282 0.04900 131 94 31 6
1301 Is the feathered look still in style? 1.3282 0.04778 131 93 33 5
1302 Just a little off the sides, then?" 1.3282 0.04778 131 93 33 5
1303 Will it want a shampoo, too? 1.3282 0.04654 131 92 35 4
1304 It’s the authentic “DA” 1.3282 0.04654 131 92 35 4
1305 Just fix it so I don't look like such an egghead. 1.3282 0.05247 131 97 25 9
1306 They call me egghead. 1.3282 0.05018 131 95 29 7
1307 A little off the top please….and this time don’t feather it. 1.3282 0.05018 131 95 29 7
1308 Okay, but no tweeting during the cutting 1.3282 0.05018 131 95 29 7
1309 Looks better than a comb-over and I get eggs too. 1.3282 0.05134 131 96 27 8
1310 You're the third customer today with a duck on his head. I think it's finally time to retire. 1.3282 0.05018 131 95 29 7
1311 Scissor-cut for me. Poultry-shear for my friend. 1.3282 0.05134 131 96 27 8
1312 It's just a hat. It keeps the pigeons away. 1.3282 0.04900 131 94 31 6
1313 So, the usual, then? 1.3282 0.05134 131 96 27 8
1314 Take care not to clip its wings. 1.3282 0.04900 131 94 31 6
1315 How much is a bird on the head worth? 1.3282 0.05247 131 97 25 9
1316 How about just a little off the top? 1.3282 0.04778 131 93 33 5
1317 So you’re going to remain six feet away at all times, right? 1.3282 0.04900 131 94 31 6
1318 I don't get it either, I'm a Buddist 1.3282 0.04900 131 94 31 6
1319 He covers up the bald spot. 1.3282 0.05134 131 96 27 8
1320 It's not that I don't like it, it's just always hungry. 1.3282 0.04778 131 93 33 5
1321 What do ya mean, it's not an essential service? 1.3282 0.05134 131 96 27 8
1322 Just trim the ducktail and tidy up the nest 1.3282 0.04900 131 94 31 6
1323 Why not? The only risk for you is catching bird flu. 1.3282 0.05018 131 95 29 7
1324 It seems I'm not the only fan of your work 1.3282 0.05134 131 96 27 8
1325 It's looking kind of seedy. 1.3282 0.04778 131 93 33 5
1326 Could you take a little off the bottom? 1.3282 0.05134 131 96 27 8
1327 Can you feather it? 1.3282 0.05018 131 95 29 7
1328 When I said I wanted a duck tail, I meant... 1.3282 0.04900 131 94 31 6
1329 We prefer the term Fauxhawk 1.3282 0.04900 131 94 31 6
1330 I'd like it removed, but frankly I can use the eggs. 1.3282 0.04900 131 94 31 6
1331 Just a little of the sides, and something to control my fly-always 1.3282 0.05018 131 95 29 7
1332 Can you fluff my feathers up a little bit? 1.3282 0.04900 131 94 31 6
1333 It's ok, it's not on the endangered species list. 1.3282 0.04394 131 90 39 2
1334 If you don’t mind just feathering the back and clipping the wings. 1.3282 0.05134 131 96 27 8
1335 Just a little feathering on top. 1.3282 0.05018 131 95 29 7
1336 Can you give me a trim and not disturb the eggs? 1.3282 0.05134 131 96 27 8
1337 it's bird flu 1.3282 0.05018 131 95 29 7
1338 A little birdy told me this is the best barbershop around. 1.3282 0.04900 131 94 31 6
1339 I meant feathered. 1.3282 0.04778 131 93 33 5
1340 I'm sorry, I only do rat's nests. 1.3282 0.05247 131 97 25 9
1341 Can you trim back my flights of fantasy? 1.3282 0.05247 131 97 25 9
1342 Can you do something about my flyaway hair? 1.3282 0.05247 131 97 25 9
1343 Sorry, I no longer do ducktail haircuts. 1.3282 0.05247 131 97 25 9
1344 Unfortunately, she's an endangered species and I'll have to wait until her chicks hatch and fledge. 1.3282 0.05134 131 96 27 8
1345 If you cut the front too short, he pecks your index finger. 1.3281 0.05332 128 95 24 9
1346 Not roots. I need you to color my roost. 1.3256 0.05063 129 94 28 7
1347 Just a trim. I've already had it feathered. 1.3256 0.05063 129 94 28 7
1348 Can you help with fly away hair? 1.3256 0.05063 129 94 28 7
1349 I need a haircut, he needs a bath. 1.3256 0.04818 129 92 32 5
1350 My regular, but be careful with the eggs. 1.3256 0.05181 129 95 26 8
1351 You’ve forgotten the apostrophe. On your sign. On the door. Makes my little problem seem insignificant. 1.3256 0.04942 129 93 30 6
1352 I think I liked the rat-tail better. 1.3256 0.04942 129 93 30 6
1353 Can you recommend a good shampoo? 1.3256 0.05181 129 95 26 8
1354 It is an endangered species, so just trim around it without disturbing it. 1.3256 0.04942 129 93 30 6
1355 Actually, I'd like the same shape, just a little shorter. 1.3256 0.05297 129 96 24 9
1356 I'll trade you any eggs you find for a neck trim. 1.3256 0.05181 129 95 26 8
1357 Do you have another chair or perhaps a perch? 1.3256 0.04818 129 92 32 5
1358 Could you maybe dye the rest of it grey, too? 1.3256 0.05181 129 95 26 8
1359 I don’t clip wings. 1.3256 0.04559 129 90 36 3
1360 How long has it been since you got a fresh cut?" "A while... it's become a real bird's nest. 1.3256 0.05181 129 95 26 8
1361 Please don't clip the flight feathers this time. 1.3256 0.04942 129 92 30 6
1362 Well... my friend, this is not my pigeon!! 1.3256 0.04559 129 90 36 3
1363 A three on the sides and shit off the top? 1.3256 0.05410 129 97 22 10
1364 Many of our feathered friends need help with climate change. 1.3256 0.05063 129 94 28 7
1365 Oh, Russel? He’s my emotional support animal. An added plus, he’s hypoallergenic. 1.3256 0.05410 129 97 22 10
1366 This helps me keep socially distant. 1.3256 0.04942 129 93 30 6
1367 I'll let her decide on the cut, since she has to be seen with me. 1.3256 0.04942 129 93 30 6
1368 I'm not sure the duck's ass haircut is working. 1.3256 0.05181 129 95 26 8
1369 I need a feather cut. 1.3256 0.05063 129 94 28 7
1370 No trim, just a real thorough wash, please. 1.3256 0.04690 129 91 34 4
1371 It's a symbiotic relationship. She keeps my head warm and I keep the nest safe from predators. 1.3256 0.04690 129 91 34 4
1372 Could you just feather it a bit on top? 1.3254 0.04412 126 89 34 3
1373 This time, can you leave a little hare on top? 1.3254 0.05265 126 93 25 8
1374 You didn't tell me you were bringing a human 1.3252 0.04965 123 88 30 5
1375 I told the last guy I wanted my hair feathered. 1.3231 0.04910 130 94 30 6
1376 Just a little off the side until they hatch. 1.3228 0.04985 127 92 29 6
1377 They tell you to get a nest egg...What they don't tell you is that you have to keep it warm. 1.3228 0.04728 127 90 33 4
1378 Anything but a DA 1.3228 0.05230 127 94 25 8
1379 Do you fix fowled haircuts? 1.3228 0.05109 127 93 27 7
1380 It's become a bit of a bird's nest. 1.3228 0.04593 127 89 35 3
1381 A little birdie told me you were the best barber in town. 1.3228 0.04985 127 92 29 6
1382 Not for me, for him 1.3228 0.04985 127 89 29 6
1383 Yes, I said a feather cut. 1.3228 0.05109 127 93 27 7
1384 I'd like a crew cut and a bag of peanuts.” 1.3228 0.04728 127 90 33 4
1385 The conditioner I used was Dove for men, why did you ask? 1.3228 0.04858 127 91 31 5
1386 It's much cheaper than Hair Club for Men, not to mention it's a chick magnet. 1.3228 0.05109 127 93 27 7
1387 Do you take large bills? 1.3228 0.04728 127 90 33 4
1388 Keep the door closed. The male is really protective" 1.3228 0.05348 127 95 23 9
1389 take a lot off the bottom 1.3228 0.05109 127 93 27 7
1390 Just a trim until the eggs hatch 1.3228 0.04985 127 91 29 6
1391 WELL THEN, HOW ABOUT JUST A SHAVE? 1.3228 0.05109 127 93 27 7
1392 It’s not really a rats nest per se 1.3228 0.05109 127 93 27 7
1393 Can I have a feathered cut please? 1.3228 0.05109 127 93 27 7
1394 She'd like a little off the top and under the beak. 1.3228 0.04985 127 92 29 6
1395 Can you add hair to the human? I'm expanding my nest. 1.3228 0.05109 127 93 27 7
1396 Coo is just how I say cool 1.3228 0.04858 127 91 31 5
1397 You look great, just like our president has the same hairstyle and hair color as a golden pheasant. 1.3228 0.05348 127 95 23 9
1398 Mohawk, faux hawk - any cut that'll solve my pigeon problem, please. 1.3228 0.05348 127 95 23 9
1399 Do me a crew cut with fried eggs sunny side up. 1.3228 0.05109 127 93 27 7
1400 Wash your hands, or I am taking my pigeons elsewhere 1.3226 0.05063 124 90 28 6
1401 Do you have time for a quick pluck? 1.3226 0.05191 124 91 26 7
1402 Honestly, I couldn't tell you how long it's been there. 1.3226 0.05191 124 91 26 7
1403 If I don't get a nest trim, the twigs get in my eyes. 1.3223 0.05145 121 88 27 6
1404 I'm looking to get it cleaned up for mating season. 1.3220 0.05090 118 85 28 5
1405 I’ll warn ya, Floyd, Hank here ain’t keen on electric clippers. 1.3217 0.05174 115 83 27 5
1406 What have I told you about haircuts in the Bronx 1.3204 0.05888 103 77 19 7
1407 Another trim around the ears, Tom, until the eggs hatch. 1.3203 0.04952 128 93 29 6
1408 Just feather it lightly. 1.3203 0.04697 128 91 33 4
1409 A little birdy told me I need a trim 1.3200 0.04765 125 89 32 4
1410 She lost one of her eggs,I thought you could help find it. 1.3200 0.05400 125 94 22 9
1411 Something a little less comfortable this time. 1.3200 0.04628 125 88 34 3
1412 Can you cut my hair and stay 6 feet away? 1.3200 0.05156 125 92 26 7
1413 I think that I shall never be a thing as lovely as a tree. 1.3200 0.05029 125 91 28 6
1414 Can I buzz the sides and take a finch off the top? 1.3200 0.05279 125 93 24 8
1415 Feather the sides and make it cheep 1.3200 0.05400 125 94 22 9
1416 Maybe just a shave, Frank. 1.3200 0.05029 125 91 28 6
1417 How much for a plucking? 1.3200 0.05156 125 92 26 7
1418 You have no idea of what a faux hawk is, do you? 1.3200 0.05400 125 94 22 9
1419 I’ll have the coo cu- I mean, crew cut, please 1.3200 0.04765 125 91 29 5
1420 Johnny, please return him to Central Park. If his family comes looking for him here, we will be in deep shit. 1.3197 0.05734 122 94 17 11
1421 Just a little off the sides. I'm trying to protect some of her habitat. 1.3197 0.05368 122 91 23 8
1422 Just 'til I get my toupee back. 1.3197 0.05109 122 89 27 6
1423 We should be wearing our masks. 1.3197 0.05042 122 90 24 7
1424 Mr. Birdbrain, what can I do for you today? 1.3197 0.05492 122 92 21 9
1425 Just trim the sides, but leave enough to keep the eggs warm. 1.3197 0.05109 122 89 27 6
1426 If you're game, we're game. 1.3190 0.05137 116 84 27 5
1427 You were right....bushy doesn't work for me. 1.3190 0.05421 116 86 23 7
1428 Must be the humidity 1.3186 0.05373 113 83 24 6
1429 They call it an eco-friendly hair transplant. 1.3186 0.05797 113 86 18 9
1430 I'll have the early bird cut special. 1.3175 0.04995 126 92 28 6
1431 Wings clipped for him, shampoo for me. 1.3171 0.05204 123 91 25 7
1432 Chirpy likes what you did last time. 1.3171 0.04941 123 89 29 5
1433 OK Groomer. 1.3171 0.04804 123 88 31 4
1434 No, it’s not a hat. I’m a birdbrain. 1.3171 0.05330 123 92 23 8
1435 AFLAC! 1.3171 0.05074 123 90 27 6
1436 You can keep the egg 1.3171 0.05330 123 92 23 8
1437 Scissors only, please. She is afraid of electrical devices. 1.3171 0.05074 123 90 27 6
1438 She wants the Jennifer Aniston. 1.3171 0.05330 123 92 23 8
1439 Please don't disturb the eggs. 1.3171 0.04804 123 91 27 5
1440 OK Birdbrain. I'll trim your nest. But if I find any guano, it's going right up your nose. 1.3171 0.04941 123 89 29 5
1441 A style suitable for the south in winter. 1.3171 0.05074 123 90 27 6
1442 Which one of you is here for a trim? 1.3171 0.04941 123 88 29 5
1443 Take it all off! 1.3171 0.05330 123 92 23 8
1444 I'm so over this empty-nester thing. 1.3171 0.04518 123 86 35 2
1445 I just need a little plucked off the top. 1.3171 0.04941 123 89 29 5
1446 So, just a pidg...I mean smidge off the top? 1.3171 0.05074 123 90 27 6
1447 I'm guessing you'll want to keep it feathered. 1.3171 0.05204 123 91 25 7
1448 He's just stopping off on his way south. I decided to open a Hair B+B. 1.3171 0.05074 123 90 27 6
1449 I'd like two in the bush. 1.3171 0.04941 123 89 29 5
1450 Mostly for the fresh omelettes. 1.3171 0.05074 123 90 27 6
1451 Think I can donate to Flocks of Love? 1.3171 0.04941 123 89 29 5
1452 Could you do a quick trim without upsetting the nest? 1.3171 0.04804 123 88 31 4
1453 Morning Frank, the usual foie gras on your pate? 1.3171 0.05204 123 91 25 7
1454 Can you do something about these sideburns? I've been told the look is distracting. 1.3167 0.05019 120 87 28 5
1455 He doesn't bite. 1.3167 0.05156 120 88 26 6
1456 Just a bit off the top today. 1.3167 0.05421 120 90 22 8
1457 Just a trim will be fine. 1.3167 0.05019 120 87 28 5
1458 You going back to the feathered look? 1.3145 0.05039 124 91 27 6
1459 how much for a shave and a nest trim? 1.3140 0.04844 121 86 30 4
1460 I don't care about coloring it, I just want to go back to having spikes. 1.3140 0.05253 121 90 24 7
1461 Just looking for a little trim around the hedges... 1.3140 0.04844 121 87 30 4
1462 Can you do something about this bird's nest? 1.3140 0.05382 121 91 22 8
1463 We’re pregnant. 1.3140 0.05120 121 89 26 6
1464 Try to avoid the endangered zone. 1.3140 0.04844 121 87 30 4
1465 A wing clip should reduce his flocking tendencies while he shelters in place. 1.3140 0.05120 121 89 26 6
1466 Just a trim, and don't disturb the eggs 1.3140 0.05253 121 90 24 7
1467 Take an inch off the back and sides, feather it on top. 1.3140 0.04844 121 87 30 4
1468 I can't afford to pay, but you can keep any eggs you find. 1.3140 0.04984 121 88 28 5
1469 My brother is pigeon-toed. 1.3140 0.05120 121 89 26 6
1470 ...and for him, just trim the bangs. 1.3140 0.05120 121 89 26 6
1471 Trim a little off the nest and watch the tail feathers. 1.3140 0.04844 121 87 30 4
1472 Could you please cut this guy out from under my nest. 1.3140 0.05382 121 89 22 8
1473 Short back and sides, and leave the top feathered. 1.3140 0.04550 121 85 34 2
1474 A little less feathering this time? -Margaret Smith 1.3140 0.04699 121 86 32 3
1475 A little off the sides for me, and a wing clip for her. 1.3140 0.04844 121 87 29 4
1476 Remember I told you last time that your haircut was strictly for the birds? 1.3140 0.04844 121 87 30 4
1477 Let's just take it all off. 1.3140 0.04984 121 88 28 5
1478 It looks OK to me but he says you took too much off the tail feathers. 1.3140 0.04699 121 86 32 3
1479 Dad . . I want to make a Movie. 1.3140 0.05382 121 91 22 8
1480 Please, no wisecracking about my family tree. 1.3140 0.04699 121 86 32 3
1481 Just take a finch off the top. 1.3140 0.04844 121 87 30 4
1482 Whet do you mean Ducktails are out? 1.3140 0.04699 121 86 32 3
1483 Yes, I can handle that. It's not a protected species. 1.3140 0.04984 121 88 28 5
1484 Maybe some highlights to blend it all together? 1.3140 0.05382 121 91 22 8
1485 Could you take care of this bird's nest? 1.3140 0.05120 121 89 26 6
1486 Just a finch off the top. 1.3140 0.05253 121 90 24 7
1487 We were hoping for something comfortable and low maintenance. 1.3140 0.04844 121 87 30 4
1488 The brain surgeon thought it best if you handled it. 1.3140 0.05120 121 89 26 6
1489 Just take a little something off the top. 1.3140 0.04984 121 88 28 5
1490 Just feather the top and sides... 1.3140 0.04699 121 86 32 3
1491 I came back to see if there is an option for a duck tail cut that does not involve an actual duck. 1.3140 0.05382 121 90 22 8
1492 Can you take a little off the sides and feather the top? 1.3140 0.05120 121 88 24 6
1493 Her chicks are all grown, so she's looking to downsize 1.3140 0.04844 121 87 30 4
1494 Just take some off the sides ... I'll be back when the chicks fledge. 1.3140 0.04984 121 88 28 5
1495 The usual Bob, just a little off the top. 1.3140 0.04844 121 87 30 4
1496 High on the sides, please. After that, it's up to my pigeon. 1.3140 0.05253 121 90 24 7
1497 I can trim his wings but he still may fly. 1.3140 0.05120 121 89 26 6
1498 The bird will pick up the hair for her new nest. 1.3140 0.04844 121 87 30 4
1499 Just a light feather cut, please. 1.3140 0.05253 121 90 24 7
1500 Well, I had asked for a faux hawk... 1.3140 0.05120 121 89 26 6
1501 I think it's time she left the nest. 1.3140 0.04984 121 88 28 5
1502 I said I was interested in wigs, not twigs. 1.3140 0.04844 121 87 30 4
1503 I prefer the name, 'Non-Conformnest'. 1.3140 0.04699 121 86 32 3
1504 I was thinking more 'A Flock of Seagulls' this time. 1.3140 0.04984 121 88 28 5
1505 I’d like it feathered on top, tapered on the sides. 1.3140 0.05253 121 90 24 7
1506 Just feather the sides a bit please. 1.3140 0.04984 121 88 28 5
1507 Yes, I'd like you to cut my humans hair please. Its like a birds nest up here 1.3140 0.05120 121 89 26 6
1508 Because bird flu beats coronavirus, duh. So weave some twigs in there. 1.3140 0.04844 121 87 30 4
1509 Short in the back, take a little bit off the sides, and then kill the bird. 1.3140 0.05120 121 89 26 6
1510 Can you stop it from feathering on top? 1.3140 0.04844 121 87 30 4
1511 Just don’t disturb the eggs 1.3136 0.04769 118 84 31 3
1512 I heard that feathering is coming back. 1.3136 0.05064 118 86 27 5
1513 Just a trim today. And could you be careful around his beak? He was complaining that you nicked him last time. 1.3136 0.05476 118 89 21 8
1514 I became so tired of being called 'bird-brain' that I just decided to accept it and like with it. 1.3136 0.05476 118 89 21 8
1515 Just trim my tail feathers without touching a hair on his head! 1.3136 0.04769 118 84 31 3
1516 I'm taking on full time parenting. 1.3136 0.04769 118 84 31 3
1517 Yes, I just got back from Capistrano. 1.3136 0.05342 118 88 23 7
1518 Let me show you this photo of Brad Pitt on my phone. 1.3136 0.05476 118 89 21 8
1519 I've had the feathered cut for years. Time for a change. 1.3136 0.05064 118 86 26 5
1520 I know we’re practicing social distancing but I can’t cut your hair from over here. 1.3136 0.04918 118 85 29 4
1521 I Said a crew cut not coo cut. 1.3136 0.05205 118 87 25 6
1522 It’s getting a little bushy on top. 1.3130 0.05435 115 86 22 7
1523 I guess it will have to be a Mohawk 1.3130 0.04842 115 82 30 3
1524 Looks like your empty nest didn’t last long 1.3130 0.04997 115 82 28 4
1525 I think this time I'll just go with the combover. 1.3130 0.04842 115 82 30 3
1526 Do you think you can blend in the nest with the sides and the back? 1.3130 0.04842 115 82 30 3
1527 It started as a duck decoy. Now we're in love. 1.3130 0.05709 115 87 18 9
1528 It's better than what my wife's got. 1.3130 0.05147 115 84 26 5
1529 I’d like it to sweep back to a ducktail. 1.3130 0.05147 115 84 26 5
1530 Sure. I can do a ducktail. 1.3130 0.05435 115 86 22 7
1531 When I asked for a feathered cut, this wasn't what I had in mind. 1.3130 0.05435 115 86 22 7
1532 I'm thinking something statuesque. 1.3130 0.05147 115 84 26 5
1533 A trim and some fresh bread crumbs. 1.3125 0.05234 112 82 25 5
1534 She's nesting, can you just trim the sides? 1.3125 0.05234 112 82 25 5
1535 Just to be on the safe side, I'll have to check with the Audubon Society, before I give you a hair cut 1.3109 0.05028 119 87 27 5
1536 I want to keep the bird. I just need to borrow one of your capes. 1.3109 0.04884 119 86 29 4
1537 Just a shave, I already have a ducktail. 1.3109 0.05028 119 87 27 5
1538 This time, just the tail. 1.3109 0.04884 119 86 29 4
1539 We like it feathered and off the ear. 1.3109 0.05028 119 87 27 5
1540 I know what you're thinking, but we want to start a family, and we'd really like your blessing, Dad. 1.3109 0.05436 119 90 21 8
1541 I was told you love a good challenge. 1.3109 0.04736 119 85 31 3
1542 You don’t have enough hair for a full bird like mine but I could give you a nice robin’s egg 1.3109 0.05028 119 87 27 5
1543 I have always wanted My hair feathered. 1.3109 0.05028 119 87 27 5
1544 I think the real question hair is 'Who is the real bird brain?' 1.3109 0.05028 119 87 27 5
1545 I gotta be honest, I didn't expect quite so much feathering 1.3109 0.04736 119 85 31 3
1546 I take it you're looking for the crow cut. 1.3109 0.05028 119 87 27 5
1547 I just can't part with him. 1.3109 0.05167 119 88 25 6
1548 Since the market crashed, I'll have to pay you out of my nest egg account. 1.3109 0.05303 119 89 23 7
1549 Your hair will look im‘peck’able after my ‘tweet’ment. 1.3109 0.05436 119 90 21 8
1550 Just a little off the beak today, Bill. 1.3109 0.04884 119 86 29 4
1551 Be careful not to clip his wings. 1.3109 0.04736 119 85 31 3
1552 No, I don't want you to get rid of it, I want you to make room for another one. 1.3109 0.05303 119 89 23 7
1553 Just a little off the sides; Easter is almost here 1.3109 0.05028 119 87 27 5
1554 Where's yours? 1.3109 0.04884 119 86 29 4
1555 We’re getting divorced. She gets the house. 1.3109 0.05566 119 91 19 9
1556 I'm not sure this counts as a 'bird in the hand' or 'one in the bush'--either way, just trim the sides please. 1.3109 0.04884 119 86 29 4
1557 My hair just seems very flyaway. 1.3109 0.04583 119 84 33 2
1558 No, not a mullet, a pullet. 1.3109 0.05028 119 87 27 5
1559 I'd like to have some feathering in the back, please. 1.3109 0.04736 119 85 31 3
1560 Shave it! It's become too much of a bird's nest! 1.3109 0.05028 119 87 27 5
1561 Just looking for a new style. I’m trying to impress my chick. 1.3109 0.05028 119 87 27 5
1562 Just a preening and don’t ruffle any feathers please. 1.3109 0.05028 119 87 27 5
1563 Man, I have every right to complain, you gave me a haircut that is for the birds. 1.3109 0.05303 119 89 23 7
1564 Which one of you is getting a trim? 1.3109 0.05167 119 88 25 6
1565 Could you just clip the flight feathers.? 1.3109 0.05028 119 87 27 5
1566 I was going to suggest a crew-cut, but I didn't think it would fly. 1.3109 0.04884 119 86 29 4
1567 Something to hint that nesting season is over. 1.3109 0.04884 119 86 29 4
1568 I got the idea from Joyce Kilmer 1.3109 0.04884 119 86 29 4
1569 I don't think the pigeon gets 'social distancing' 1.3109 0.05167 119 88 25 6
1570 My wife says it needs more feathering. 1.3109 0.05028 119 87 27 5
1571 DA, of course. 1.3109 0.05028 119 87 27 5
1572 My wife wears a beehive... 1.3109 0.05028 119 87 27 5
1573 Don’t let him suffer. 1.3109 0.04884 119 86 29 4
1574 Just a little trim around the nest. 1.3109 0.04884 119 86 29 4
1575 $35 for a haircut?!? You're crazy. 1.3109 0.05028 119 87 27 5
1576 Sir, this is California, I definitly can't do that here. 1.3103 0.05532 116 88 20 8
1577 I’d like to keep the shelter in place. 1.3103 0.04961 116 84 28 4
1578 Does getting my wings clipped cost extra? 1.3097 0.05041 113 82 27 4
1579 I need a good summer cut for the migratory season. 1.3091 0.05125 110 80 26 4
1580 Are wingtips in? 1.3089 0.05049 123 91 26 6
1581 My grandmother inspired me. She invented the Beehive. 1.3077 0.04925 117 85 28 4
1582 I need the eggs. 1.3077 0.05491 117 89 20 8
1583 I’m bringing back the “Dove Tail” look of the 50’s. 1.3077 0.04773 117 84 30 3
1584 Just need a trim around the nest. 1.3077 0.05073 117 86 26 5
1585 Hatch you later. 1.3077 0.05073 117 86 26 5
1586 I'm renting it out as an Air BnB. I just need my nose hairs trimmed today. 1.3077 0.05491 117 89 20 8
1587 I'd like a duck-tail in the back. 1.3077 0.05216 117 87 24 6
1588 Oh, I'm unclear on a lot of concepts. 1.3077 0.05491 117 89 20 8
1589 Could you take a little off the top? 1.3077 0.05216 117 87 24 6
1590 Nesting season ends in a week if that works for you. 1.3077 0.05355 117 88 22 7
1591 He seems to think my bald spot is an egg, I was hoping you could help. 1.3077 0.05073 117 86 26 5
1592 I couldn't afford Dove 1.3077 0.05216 117 87 24 6
1593 A little of the top Larry? 1.3077 0.05491 117 89 20 8
1594 I'd like to switch things up and go for a ducktail this time. 1.3077 0.04925 117 85 28 4
1595 Just feathered on the sides 1.3077 0.04925 117 85 28 4
1596 Not too short on the wings 1.3077 0.04925 117 85 28 4
1597 Pest Control laughed at me. What's your opinion? 1.3077 0.05073 117 86 26 5
1598 Just a trim before the Easter Parade. 1.3077 0.04773 117 84 30 3
1599 Just take a chicken little off the top. 1.3077 0.04925 117 85 28 4
1600 I know it’s a rare bird but I want my safe space back. 1.3077 0.04925 117 85 28 4
1601 Back in my day, we could afford a whole flock. 1.3077 0.05216 117 87 24 6
1602 Can I get a little off the top? No more than a finch. 1.3077 0.05073 117 86 26 5
1603 I want something that doesn't make me look so hen-pecked. 1.3077 0.05073 117 86 26 5
1604 Circumcision ? i came in for a haircut! 1.3077 0.05491 117 89 20 8
1605 I'm originally from Portland. 1.3077 0.04925 117 85 28 4
1606 My wife said my hair looked like a rat's nest, but I disagree! 1.3077 0.05355 117 88 22 7
1607 How much for a good preening? 1.3077 0.05073 117 86 26 5
1608 The next generation of baldness remedies. 1.3077 0.04925 117 85 28 4
1609 Just the tailfeathers 1.3077 0.04773 117 84 30 3
1610 I know what you’re thinking. 1.3077 0.04925 117 85 28 4
1611 My hair has been really feeling like a nest lately. 1.3077 0.05216 117 87 24 6
1612 Just take a little off the sides. She's paid up until the end of the month. 1.3077 0.05073 117 86 26 5
1613 She took pity on me after my last cut. 1.3077 0.05355 117 88 22 7
1614 It's my service pigeon, just trim around the edges, and watch the tailfeathers. 1.3077 0.05073 117 86 26 5
1615 Make me look fly. 1.3077 0.05216 117 87 24 6
1616 It’s a crow-cut 1.3077 0.05216 117 87 24 6
1617 I'd just like my wings clipped a little. 1.3077 0.05073 117 86 26 5
1618 After the eggs hatch, I want you to shave my head clean. 1.3077 0.05216 117 87 24 6
1619 My dermatologist says it's not plica neuropathica. It's simply bird's nest hair and I should see you. 1.3077 0.05216 117 87 24 6
1620 Don’t disturb the nest, okay? 1.3077 0.04925 117 85 28 4
1621 Wow! I haven’t seen a pigeon cut in years 1.3077 0.05355 117 88 22 7
1622 Tight around the sides and feathered on top, please. 1.3077 0.04925 117 85 28 4
1623 It okay, it’s not The Coronavirus, It’s the Bird Flew! 1.3077 0.04773 117 84 30 3
1624 I'm thinking it's time for a summer look. Let's go short on the sides and swap in a sparrow. 1.3077 0.05216 117 87 24 6
1625 Hey, not as bad as a rat’s nest. 1.3077 0.04925 117 85 28 4
1626 Could you feather it? 1.3077 0.05355 117 88 22 7
1627 High on top, tight on the sides. 1.3077 0.05216 117 87 24 6
1628 Feather it on the sides and clip some wings in the back 1.3077 0.05073 117 86 26 5
1629 Could you give me a ducktail? 1.3077 0.05073 117 86 26 5
1630 I was told I might like a faux hawk. 1.3077 0.05624 117 89 18 9
1631 I'd like a shag, part it in the middle and feather it back. 1.3077 0.04925 117 85 28 4
1632 It is heartening to see that it isn't just empty nesters who take pride in their appearance. 1.3077 0.04925 117 85 28 4
1633 Can you cut around the bird? It’s a $500 fine if you touch an endangered species. 1.3077 0.05073 117 86 26 5
1634 He's my service pet for social distancing. 1.3077 0.04925 117 85 28 4
1635 Do I get a discount for belonging to the Audubon Society? 1.3077 0.05216 117 87 24 6
1636 Is it true that the DA went out of style in the 50s? 1.3077 0.04925 117 85 28 4
1637 BE CAREFUL NOT TO BREAK THE EGG! 1.3077 0.05073 117 86 26 5
1638 Just a little off the sides, please. Otto stays. 1.3077 0.04773 117 84 30 3
1639 How much for the both of us? 1.3077 0.04773 117 84 30 3
1640 Just a little off the top. My nest egg is resting on this. 1.3077 0.05355 117 88 22 7
1641 Do you think she'll mind? 1.3077 0.05073 117 86 26 5
1642 His only complaint is the dandruff. 1.3077 0.05073 117 86 26 5
1643 Don't worry, it's just a decoy 1.3077 0.05073 117 85 26 5
1644 My wife wouldn't let me do a comb-over. 1.3077 0.04925 117 85 28 4
1645 Do you do feathered cuts? 1.3077 0.04773 117 84 30 3
1646 Please take a Chicken Little off the top. 1.3077 0.05073 117 86 26 5
1647 Just a trim around the ears and the tail. 1.3077 0.04454 117 82 34 1
1648 Social distancing is rough. 1.3077 0.05355 117 88 22 7
1649 It happened after the government defunded my clinical trial. 1.3077 0.05355 117 88 22 7
1650 Yes, it is a helmet pigeon. Can you cut around it? 1.3077 0.04925 117 85 28 4
1651 Yeah, we're broody lately. But she thinks we could use a trim off the sides. 1.3077 0.05491 117 89 20 8
1652 Dad, how come you never loved me? 1.3077 0.05216 117 87 24 6
1653 I don't know what to do with my hair, just wing it. 1.3077 0.05073 117 86 26 5
1654 Put the scissors on the chair, back up to maintain social distance, and give me instructions while I cut my own hair. 1.3077 0.05355 117 88 22 7
1655 Trump was having a garage sale! 1.3077 0.05491 117 89 20 8
1656 If you can get that bird in your hand, I can take care of your bush. 1.3077 0.05624 117 90 18 9
1657 I'm not giving you the bird, dad. I only want you to hold her while I run errands. 1.3077 0.05355 117 88 22 7
1658 I guess you know to feather the sides. 1.3077 0.05073 117 86 26 5
1659 I know, mom tried to warn me. 1.3077 0.05216 117 87 24 6
1660 I don't get the problem. Boomers wore duck tails. 1.3077 0.05073 117 86 26 5
1661 I kind of like it but can you make it look more like a pompadour? 1.3077 0.05216 117 87 24 6
1662 This time, let’s aim for a little less ‘statuesque.’ 1.3077 0.05073 117 86 26 5
1663 Yeah, so do you think I can grow it out into a flock of seagulls? 1.3077 0.05355 117 88 22 7
1664 How long has it been? 1.3077 0.04925 117 85 28 4
1665 Just a heads up. He's afraid of the clippers. 1.3077 0.05216 117 87 24 6
1666 I don’t want to lose him, but social distancing requires me to do so. 1.3077 0.05216 117 87 24 6
1667 I might have gone too far with this AirBnB thing... 1.3077 0.05491 117 89 20 8
1668 It's avian flew. 1.3077 0.05073 117 86 26 5
1669 Let's take off a little more this time. 1.3077 0.05491 117 88 20 8
1670 But, dad, you told me I should have a nest egg. 1.3077 0.04773 117 84 30 3
1671 A little off the sides and the bird off the top. 1.3077 0.04925 117 85 28 4
1672 Anything you can do to make it less...nest-like? 1.3077 0.05073 117 86 26 5
1673 I told the last stylist I was going for the feathered look. 1.3077 0.04773 117 84 30 3
1674 I’m building up to a mohawk. 1.3077 0.04616 117 83 32 2
1675 A little birdie told me that a ducktail cut would be sic. 1.3070 0.04600 114 83 28 3
1676 Can you do a 1950's-style ducktail cut? The last guy I went to did more of a dovetail. 1.3070 0.05157 114 84 25 5
1677 Now that we are empty nesters........ 1.3070 0.05305 114 85 23 6
1678 She'd like some conditioner after the trim. 1.3070 0.04846 114 82 29 3
1679 Well, if you have male pattern baldness, it's as good a solution as any. 1.3070 0.05449 114 86 21 7
1680 A little off the top, and she needs help with some pinfeathers. 1.3070 0.05157 114 84 25 5
1681 Just the sideburns. 1.3070 0.05157 114 84 25 5
1682 The cat did swallow the canary, and I got the bluebird of happiness 1.3070 0.05004 114 83 27 4
1683 I thought it was a rat’s nest - I was wrong 1.3070 0.05449 114 86 21 7
1684 He came to eat the lice...then he just kinda stuck around. 1.3070 0.05305 114 85 23 6
1685 Scissors only,clippers scare him. 1.3070 0.05157 114 84 25 5
1686 Yes, I can do a feathered cut. 1.3070 0.05004 114 83 27 4
1687 Take a lot off the top 1.3070 0.05004 114 83 27 4
1688 Just the sides please 1.3070 0.05157 114 84 25 5
1689 She’s a squatter . Please be gentle . 1.3070 0.05305 114 85 23 6
1690 A bird on the hair is worth two on the brush. 1.3070 0.05590 114 87 19 8
1691 So, you also want a Bob? 1.3070 0.05157 114 84 25 5
1692 I was going for a faux hawk, but I'm a man on a budget. 1.3070 0.05305 114 85 23 6
1693 Don't worry.....It's only bird flew. 1.3070 0.05590 114 87 19 8
1694 my brother said your haircuts are for the birds, 1.3070 0.05449 114 86 21 7
1695 We only learned “rat’s nest.” 1.3070 0.05305 114 85 23 6
1696 The bird's not the problem. Cutting your hair from six feet away, on the other hand, will be quite a challenge. 1.3070 0.05305 114 85 23 6
1697 She going to just need something that’s easy & quick to style please. 1.3070 0.05157 114 84 25 5
1698 Am I too old for the faux hawk? 1.3070 0.05449 114 86 21 7
1699 Can you feather it in without breaking the eggs 1.3070 0.05004 114 85 24 5
1700 I paid $5,000 so my wife could 'volunteer' on an organic farm, and all I got was this 'free range' chicken." 1.3070 0.05305 114 85 23 6
1701 Just clip his wings and and feather the nest. 1.3070 0.05157 114 84 25 5
1702 I've already had a close shave with bird flu. 1.3070 0.05157 114 84 25 5
1703 ...and when you're done, I'm going to need the clippings. 1.3070 0.05590 114 87 19 8
1704 Just trim around the eggs please 1.3070 0.05157 114 84 25 5
1705 Remember when last month you dropped the scissors and I got an egg on my head? 1.3070 0.05305 114 85 23 6
1706 Three on the sides, fade in the back, and a handful of corn on top. 1.3063 0.05086 111 81 26 4
1707 Yes, my name is Robin. How'd you know? 1.3063 0.04922 111 80 28 3
1708 Excuse me sir but is the bird a comfort animal ? 1.3063 0.05399 111 83 22 6
1709 I hatch my best ideas while my hair's being cut. 1.3063 0.05245 111 82 24 5
1710 In 17-19 days I'll be a stepfather. 1.3063 0.04922 111 80 28 3
1711 I've heard about you, too. 1.3063 0.05086 111 81 26 4
1712 I didn't even realize it was a toupée 1.3063 0.05086 111 81 26 4
1713 ...so I thought I'd take a flyer on visiting your shop. 1.3063 0.05548 111 84 20 7
1714 Just a little off the top? Yes, I can do a tweetment" 1.3063 0.05399 111 81 22 6
1715 No I distinctly said a "Duck Tail" 1.3063 0.04922 111 80 28 3
1716 Think of him as a free range hat. 1.3063 0.05548 111 84 20 7
1717 My hair went south on me. 1.3063 0.05245 111 82 24 5
1718 Yeah. I sleep standing up. 1.3063 0.05548 111 84 20 7
1719 How much for a molt? 1.3063 0.04922 111 80 28 3
1720 Yes, I did recently visit Alcatraz. 1.3063 0.05694 111 85 18 8
1721 I hear there's another avian flu coming next. You can be a carrier with no apparent symptoms. 1.3063 0.05086 111 81 26 4
1722 Again? 1.3063 0.04753 111 79 30 2
1723 He was pheasantly surprised by his barbering skills. 1.3063 0.05548 111 84 20 7
1724 A little off the top, and the same for me. 1.3056 0.04826 108 77 29 2
1725 Just a trim around the edges. 1.3056 0.05172 108 79 25 4
1726 No topiary 1.3056 0.05002 108 78 27 3
1727 A little birdie told me you’re the best in the city. 1.3056 0.05497 108 81 21 6
1728 He says he wants to downsize. 1.3056 0.05337 108 80 23 5
1729 It beats a bird in the bush! 1.3051 0.05036 118 87 26 5
1730 I was thinking about a beehive, but I'm allergic. 1.3043 0.05265 115 84 22 6
1731 My last barber was really into topiary... 1.3043 0.04967 115 84 27 4
1732 Does that say 'beard trim' or 'bird trim'? 1.3043 0.04967 115 84 27 4
1733 The free range eggs are your tip. 1.3043 0.04811 115 83 29 3
1734 Just take a little off the top, Joe. 1.3043 0.04967 115 84 27 4
1735 So I misheard, I thought it was "A BIRD in the hair is worth two in the bush". 1.3043 0.04811 115 83 29 3
1736 No, not coronavirus, bird flu 1.3043 0.05119 115 85 25 5
1737 My regular barber is pregnant. 1.3043 0.04567 115 84 28 3
1738 How much for a prune? 1.3043 0.05265 115 86 23 6
1739 This time I'll try a mohawk instead. 1.3043 0.04483 115 81 33 1
1740 Let me guess, you would like a ducktail haircut? 1.3043 0.05119 115 85 25 5
1741 You’re haircut is free if you let me post this online. 1.3043 0.04967 115 84 27 4
1742 My only annoyance is having to sleep standing or sitting 1.3043 0.05119 115 85 25 5
1743 Are you still running your twofer special? 1.3043 0.04811 115 83 29 3
1744 Just a smidgeon keep the pigeon. 1.3043 0.05119 115 85 25 5
1745 I duck, you cut 1.3043 0.05119 115 85 25 5
1746 He got evicted. It's only temporary until he gets back on his feet. 1.3043 0.04650 115 82 31 2
1747 So, just a trim? 1.3043 0.04650 115 82 31 2
1748 I'm thinking we go for A Flock of Seagulls look. 1.3043 0.04811 115 83 29 3
1749 Just make it look less of a bird's nest. 1.3043 0.05119 115 85 25 5
1750 Her primaries and secondaries are fine, but can you trim a bit off the scapulars?" 1.3043 0.04811 115 83 29 3
1751 It's been a while since my last hair cut. 1.3043 0.04967 115 84 27 4
1752 You weren't supposed to clip the wings! Now it'll never fly away. 1.3043 0.04650 115 82 31 2
1753 The bird's fine, but you'll need to stay six feet away. 1.3043 0.05265 115 86 23 6
1754 Just a little something off the top, please. 1.3043 0.04811 115 83 29 3
1755 Just feather it, okay? 1.3043 0.05265 115 86 23 6
1756 Bird flu is so last season. 1.3043 0.05119 115 85 25 5
1757 Can you spruce up my hair? 1.3043 0.05265 115 86 23 6
1758 ...I see you have a little woodland creature that sleeps on your head just like Trump 1.3043 0.05119 115 85 25 5
1759 Just don't scramble the eggs. 1.3043 0.04967 115 84 27 4
1760 As I said, you can keep the eggs. 1.3043 0.04650 115 82 31 2
1761 You said no fly aways. 1.3043 0.05408 115 87 21 7
1762 I heard the feathered look is making a comeback. 1.3043 0.04811 115 83 29 3
1763 Will you please tell him it's time to leave the nest? 1.3043 0.04967 115 84 27 4
1764 I need you to make more room for its nest. 1.3043 0.04650 115 82 31 2
1765 Two pompadours please. 1.3043 0.04967 115 84 27 4
1766 I love the emotional support but the nest needs a trim. 1.3043 0.05265 115 86 23 6
1767 The last guy said it would grow into a Mohawk but all I got was something that barely looks like a falcon. 1.3025 0.04856 119 86 27 4
1768 I'm thinking something a little less bushy this time. 1.3019 0.05714 106 81 18 7
1769 Just taper the sides, trim the edges, and don’t disturb the eggs. 1.3017 0.04931 116 85 27 4
1770 It's a cheaper way of getting your hair dyed white. 1.3017 0.05081 116 86 25 5
1771 I’m hoping we can bring back the ducktail. 1.3009 0.05463 113 86 20 7
1772 How would I look with a ducktail? 1.3009 0.05010 113 83 26 4
1773 I think I need a new look” 1.3009 0.04768 113 86 21 5
1774 Mind the eggs. 1.3009 0.05010 113 83 26 4
1775 I also have a partridge in a pear tree. 1.3009 0.04850 113 82 28 3
1776 Can you add a little more hair around the nest? 1.3009 0.05166 113 84 24 5
1777 It's a hairy woodpecker, so this is kind of delicate. 1.3009 0.05166 113 84 24 5
1778 My grandpa suggested I get the haircut of his youth, the Duck's Ass, but this doesn't look quite right. 1.3009 0.05463 113 86 20 7
1779 The sides and back need cleaning up, but take a lot off the top. No matter what he says. 1.3009 0.04850 113 82 28 3
1780 You can clip the wings but leave the eggs. 1.3009 0.05316 113 85 22 6
1781 I just need a trim, but Sweetiepie needs to be preened. 1.3009 0.05166 113 84 24 5
1782 I'm looking for that 'social distancing' look, but I still want to appear approachable. 1.3009 0.05316 113 85 22 6
1783 Just leave a little bird on top. 1.3009 0.05316 113 85 22 6
1784 I'm kinda over the feathered look. 1.3009 0.04684 113 81 30 2
1785 Let’s wait for her outgoing message first! 1.3009 0.05316 113 85 22 6
1786 I'm not sure I can trust a barber that holds scissors so improperly. 1.3009 0.05010 113 83 26 4
1787 Yes I have just come from the park. How can you tell? 1.3009 0.04684 113 81 30 2
1788 Extra tip if I leave without egg on my face. 1.3009 0.05316 113 85 22 6
1789 I was thinking maybe something with less feathering this time. 1.3009 0.04850 113 82 28 3
1790 Will one in the bush cover the cost? 1.3009 0.04850 113 82 28 3
1791 Can you tell me which way is South? 1.3009 0.05166 113 84 24 5
1792 He's sheltering in place. 1.3009 0.05166 113 84 24 5
1793 My hair feels like a bird’s nest. 1.3009 0.05010 113 83 26 4
1794 Just a pidge of the top, please. 1.3009 0.05316 113 85 22 6
1795 I’m going more for a flock-of-seagulls look this time. 1.3009 0.05010 113 85 23 5
1796 Just a trim. She’s on the endangered species list. 1.3009 0.04850 113 82 28 3
1797 Apparently he thought I asked for a buzzard cut. 1.3009 0.05316 113 85 22 6
1798 Just the sides today. 1.3009 0.04850 113 82 28 3
1799 Some people call it a rat's nest, but I beg to differ. 1.3009 0.04850 113 82 28 3
1800 A bird in the head is worth three in the bush. 1.3009 0.05166 113 84 24 5
1801 She wants a wash and blow dry, and I want my head shaved. 1.3009 0.05166 113 84 24 5
1802 I'm told your haircuts are for the birds. 1.3009 0.05463 113 86 20 7
1803 Can we do more ducktail and less duck? 1.3009 0.05316 113 85 22 6
1804 Whatta you mean I need approval from the EPA and a permit from the Audubon Society before you'll give me a trim? 1.3009 0.05316 113 85 22 6
1805 We close after you, order of the Mayor. Then Sibley and I will nest in place! 1.3009 0.05166 113 84 24 5
1806 Ah yes, the perfect look to say “stay 6ft away from me at all times, per CDC guidelines 1.3009 0.04850 113 82 28 3
1807 Embarrassing? No. People used to think I had a couple of squirrels up my pantlegs. 1.3009 0.05463 113 86 20 7
1808 Where should he sit? 1.3009 0.05316 113 85 22 6
1809 Can we try something different? Last time you feathered it. 1.3009 0.04850 113 82 28 3
1810 Back in the city, I raised pigeons on our roof, but in a small town like this ... 1.3009 0.05166 113 84 24 5
1811 Thanks for fitting me in, and sorry about all the stray cats outside -- they've been following me everywhere lately. 1.3009 0.05166 113 84 24 5
1812 This is what my last barber suggested when I said I wanted a feathered cut. 1.3009 0.04850 113 82 28 3
1813 Cut around her carefully, or we'll lose the egg. 1.3009 0.05010 113 85 23 5
1814 I'd like something other than a feather cut. 1.3000 0.05411 110 83 21 6
1815 I don't even know what flyaway hair is, but Mom said I had to see you. 1.3000 0.05093 110 81 25 4
1816 Take a little off the bottom and throw it on the top 1.3000 0.04926 110 80 27 3
1817 Sorry, no haircuts without written permission from the S.P.C.A. 1.3000 0.05411 110 83 21 6
1818 Can you do feather cuts? 1.3000 0.04754 110 79 29 2
1819 I can't stress this enough, sides and back only. 1.3000 0.05254 110 82 23 5
1820 But first, tell me about your disinfectant process. 1.3000 0.05254 110 82 23 5
1821 Let's do a No. 2 on the sides and feathered on top. 1.3000 0.05093 110 81 25 4
1822 I call it 'The Nest'--chicks love it. 1.3000 0.05411 110 83 21 6
1823 He’s social distancing from the rest of the flock. 1.3000 0.04926 110 80 27 3
1824 I’ve tried peanut butter and mayonnaise but this guy’s in there real good. 1.3000 0.05411 110 83 21 6
1825 Sally here, wants you to apologize for the last hair cut. 1.3000 0.05711 110 85 17 8
1826 I know feathers are a form of hair, but I do not do birds here. 1.3000 0.04926 110 85 19 6
1827 It’s a real bird’s nest up there. 1.3000 0.05254 110 82 23 5
1828 Ryan wants to look like a gosling. 1.3000 0.05563 110 84 19 7
1829 Anything you can do to fix this attempted coo? 1.3000 0.05563 110 84 19 7
1830 You're the most unscrupulous, cold-blooded guy I know, Steve. Just kill it. 1.3000 0.05254 110 82 23 5
1831 I’d like it less feathered? 1.3000 0.05093 110 81 25 4
1832 A coo cut 1.3000 0.05855 110 86 15 9
1833 Yeh, I know it looks like a bird's nest - but I kind of like it. 1.3000 0.05411 110 83 21 6
1834 It grew up under my MAGA hat! 1.3000 0.05093 110 81 25 4
1835 Let's keep the sideburns and the beak. 1.3000 0.04926 110 77 26 2
1836 Can you just trim the sides but leave the top alone? 1.3000 0.05093 110 81 25 4
1837 Yep, thats my mohawk. 1.3000 0.05411 110 83 21 6
1838 Just do a slight variation of the ducktail. 1.3000 0.05563 110 84 19 7
1839 I asked for the "faux hawk." 1.3000 0.05093 110 81 25 4
1840 She says the nest is too deep. 1.3000 0.05254 110 82 23 5
1841 I’m thinking maybe you can feather my hair back a little bit more. 1.3000 0.05254 110 82 23 5
1842 Just a regular, but don't hurt the eggs. 1.3000 0.05254 110 82 23 5
1843 The last barber flipped me the bird. 1.3000 0.05563 110 84 19 7
1844 I used to have a cow lick but I out grew it. 1.3000 0.05093 110 81 25 4
1845 Just a little off the sides, please, and mind the beak. 1.3000 0.05411 110 83 21 6
1846 I'd like it short on the sides, with a thrush cut up top. 1.3000 0.05563 110 84 19 7
1847 Unfortuately, I've been advised against a buzz cut." 1.3000 0.05093 110 81 25 4
1848 We don't do duck tail haircuts anymore . 1.3000 0.05411 110 83 21 6
1849 This time I’d like to try a beehive. 1.3000 0.05563 110 84 19 7
1850 My vet wanted $1000 to clip her wings! 1.3000 0.05711 110 85 17 8
1851 I want a duck cut. 1.3000 0.05411 110 83 21 6
1852 It's my right. No ducks. 1.3000 0.05411 110 83 21 6
1853 Just a shampoo. 1.3000 0.05563 110 84 19 7
1854 That's nothin', you should've seen this old man with a beard who came in the other day! 1.3000 0.04926 110 80 27 3
1855 It's supposed to be in your hand, not in your bush. 1.3000 0.05711 110 85 17 8
1856 My hair’s fine. He could use a feather trim around the neck. 1.3000 0.04666 110 81 26 3
1857 A pluck and a haircut, please. 1.3000 0.05563 110 84 19 7
1858 At one time a few weeks ago there may have been an egg. 1.3000 0.05254 110 82 23 5
1859 Will you be able to remove the bird without arousing PETA? 1.3000 0.05411 110 83 21 6
1860 Short back and sides and watch the eggs 1.3000 0.05254 110 82 23 5
1861 So, Pete, how did YOU do in the golf tournament? 1.3000 0.05254 110 82 23 5
1862 A little off the nest, please 1.3000 0.04754 110 79 29 2
1863 Can you keep a secret? 1.3000 0.05254 110 82 23 5
1864 You know, you really got a lot of pigeons flying around outside. 1.3000 0.05411 110 83 21 6
1865 Just a little trim, nothing too crazy. 1.3000 0.05411 110 83 21 6
1866 May I use your blow dryer? 1.3000 0.05254 110 82 23 5
1867 I saw your sign. Can I buy two pounds of peppermint sticks please? 1.3000 0.05411 110 83 21 6
1868 You'll have clip around her; she's got a long-term lease and it's a rent controlled space. 1.3000 0.05563 110 84 19 7
1869 No, it’s spelled: f-l-e-w. 1.3000 0.05411 110 83 21 6
1870 Why couldn't it be "a man walks into a bar-ber?" 1.3000 0.05093 110 81 25 4
1871 I won’t serve anyone with COVID-19 but I will serve those with bird flu, so you’re in luck! 1.3000 0.05411 110 83 21 6
1872 A little off the sides, please. 1.3000 0.05254 110 82 23 5
1873 Don’t worry. Just bird flu. 1.3000 0.05711 110 85 16 8
1874 Now I don't have to worry about my market running out of eggs. 1.3000 0.05711 110 85 17 8
1875 You've ruined her for Confederate statues. 1.3000 0.05411 110 83 21 6
1876 He just wants a little off the crest . . . 1.3000 0.05254 110 82 23 5
1877 It is NOT a chicken! 1.3000 0.05411 110 83 21 6
1878 It pecks me on the head should you come within 6 feet or when my hands leave my pocket. 1.3000 0.05411 110 83 21 6
1879 It seems to think my man-bun is an egg. 1.3000 0.05411 110 83 21 6
1880 I haven't told her yet. 1.3000 0.05093 110 81 25 4
1881 Can you save the bird? 1.3000 0.04926 110 80 27 3
1882 You will have to go somewhere else, i do not clip wings. 1.3000 0.05093 110 81 25 4
1883 We all need to shelter in place. 1.3000 0.05411 110 83 21 6
1884 When I asked for a comfy haircut i meant one for me. 1.3000 0.05254 110 82 23 5
1885 I’m old school with twitter. 1.3000 0.04926 110 80 27 3
1886 Can you please trim around the edges, the eggs are about ready to hatch. 1.3000 0.05563 110 84 19 7
1887 Nohawk, please. 1.3000 0.05855 110 86 15 9
1888 Your warm pigeon-attracter shampoo worked great! 1.3000 0.05563 110 84 19 7
1889 Maybe just a shave? 1.3000 0.04926 110 80 27 3
1890 Ok. Let’s try it from six feet. 1.3000 0.05711 110 84 17 8
1891 Take a seat, egghead. 1.3000 0.05254 110 82 23 5
1892 Is it possible to trim the nest and leave the nest egg untouched? 1.3000 0.04926 110 80 27 3
1893 She's endangered,... please take care not to disturb her nesting site. 1.3000 0.05411 110 83 21 6
1894 Just check for eggs 1.3000 0.05254 110 82 23 5
1895 We’re looking for something stylish but practical for the spring season. 1.3000 0.04926 110 80 27 3
1896 Just a trim; I found a temporary solution to my bald spot. 1.3000 0.05411 110 83 21 6
1897 I plan on tweeting this haircut. 1.3000 0.05254 110 82 23 5
1898 Originally we bought it as a backyard security camera but my wife likes to see what I do Saturdays. 1.3000 0.05093 110 81 25 4
1899 Someone said the Ducktail style was back in vogue. 1.3000 0.05711 110 85 17 8
1900 Yes, I'm a professor. And no egg-head jokes. 1.3000 0.05711 110 85 17 8
1901 'I'm good but my friend needs his wings clipped again." 1.3000 0.05254 110 82 23 5
1902 It's the newest hair style - the " hatched roof." 1.3000 0.05254 110 82 23 5
1903 I've got a problem with my roosts. 1.3000 0.05563 110 84 19 7
1904 Alittle off the sides and mind the nest. 1.3000 0.05093 110 81 25 4
1905 The last time you colored my hair -- I think it may have been a mistake to have gone with "Tree Branch Brown"... 1.3000 0.05411 110 83 21 6
1906 She'd like a little off the top. 1.3000 0.05711 110 85 17 8
1907 I'd like to attract eagles instead. 1.3000 0.05563 110 84 19 7
1908 My hair's a little too natural. 1.3000 0.05563 110 84 19 7
1909 She’s having trouble molting. 1.3000 0.05411 110 83 21 6
1910 Shall we keep the more conservationist look? 1.3000 0.05563 110 84 19 7
1911 Just be careful. I have a few moles on my neck and a bird that lives in my hair. 1.3000 0.05411 110 83 21 6
1912 I just don't want that Bald Eagle look. 1.3000 0.05254 110 82 23 5
1913 Not too much off the top. I just want it feathered. 1.3000 0.05563 110 84 19 7
1914 This time take a lot off the top. 1.3000 0.05254 110 82 23 5
1915 I've been told my curls are starting to look like a bird's nest. 1.3000 0.05855 110 86 15 9
1916 I’ll be back for my regular cut after the babies fledge. 1.3000 0.05093 110 81 25 4
1917 Take a little something off the top. 1.3000 0.05711 110 85 17 8
1918 Just give me six inches off the top. The bird wants six feet off the bottom. 1.3000 0.05411 110 83 21 6
1919 People keep telling me my hair looks like a bird's nest. 1.3000 0.04926 110 80 27 3
1920 And would she like the wings feathered a bit? 1.3000 0.05563 110 84 19 7
1921 She wants a bald-eagle look. 1.3000 0.05254 110 82 23 5
1922 I don't know which is worse...this avian flew or COVID19. 1.3000 0.05411 110 83 21 6
1923 The usual thanks, George. Just mind the eggs this time. 1.3000 0.05222 100 73 24 3
1924 She knows you don't pose a threat from six feet away. 1.3000 0.05254 110 82 23 5
1925 I'm fine, but his wings could use a trim. 1.3000 0.05411 110 83 21 6
1926 2 on the sides, 4 on the top, and just a trim on the feathers. 1.3000 0.05563 110 84 19 7
1927 Just a quick trim as we’re flying south for the winter”.. 1.3000 0.05254 110 82 23 5
1928 Congratulations. When’s the happy day? 1.3000 0.05411 110 83 21 6
1929 You’ll have to cut around it until the eggs are hatched. 1.3000 0.05411 110 83 21 6
1930 Just a trim and wing clipping, please. 1.3000 0.05093 110 83 21 5
1931 How much to get this guy off my ass? 1.2981 0.05937 104 81 15 8
1932 Do therapy birds receive a discount? 1.2973 0.04719 111 80 29 2
1933 welcome back 1.2973 0.05054 111 82 25 4
1934 I don't know which comes first: the chicken or the hair. 1.2973 0.04889 111 81 27 3
1935 JUST trim around the nest. 1.2973 0.05054 111 82 25 4
1936 You said to scrub my bald spot with Dove. Did I do something wrong? 1.2973 0.04889 111 81 27 3
1937 I'm taking vegan to the next level. 1.2973 0.05368 111 84 21 6
1938 Yeah, a little off the top, what don't you get about that? 1.2973 0.05214 111 83 23 5
1939 Can you take a little bird off the top? 1.2973 0.05214 111 83 23 5
1940 That's his nesting face. 1.2973 0.05368 111 84 21 6
1941 I update my style frequently. Why do you ask? 1.2973 0.04719 111 80 29 2
1942 Maybe just a bit off the sides. 1.2973 0.05214 111 83 23 5
1943 Just a trim and kill the fucking pigeon. 1.2973 0.05947 111 88 13 10
1944 Can you just feather it a bit? 1.2973 0.05054 111 82 25 4
1945 Just trim the sides. I don’t want anything taken off the top. 1.2973 0.04719 111 80 29 2
1946 He'd like to downsize. 1.2973 0.05368 111 84 21 6
1947 Hi Bob, I just need a shave today. 1.2973 0.04889 111 81 27 3
1948 Oh, really? I thought it was: “A bird in the hair is worth two in the tush.” 1.2973 0.05054 111 82 25 4
1949 I think nesting at home from the virus has gotten to you, my friend. 1.2973 0.05368 111 84 21 6
1950 Would you rather we do this on a park bench? 1.2973 0.05214 111 83 23 5
1951 A duckbill? Why do you ask? 1.2973 0.05214 111 83 23 5
1952 I can pay you in eggs. 1.2973 0.04719 111 80 29 2
1953 But I need the eggs 1.2973 0.04889 111 81 27 3
1954 I see you prefer duck tails...very 50's 1.2973 0.05214 111 83 23 5
1955 I don't use a lot of product. 1.2973 0.05054 111 82 25 4
1956 Well, we met over some crumbs in the park, and before I knew it, we're a couple! 1.2973 0.04719 111 80 29 2
1957 Yeah, Hair Club for Hen was on sale 1.2973 0.05368 111 84 21 6
1958 A bird in the hair is worth two in the house 1.2973 0.05214 111 83 23 5
1959 I know I said I wanted it feathered,but... 1.2973 0.04719 111 80 29 2
1960 Hair today but gone tomorrow 1.2973 0.05054 111 82 25 4
1961 How much for a crow cut ? 1.2973 0.04719 111 80 29 2
1962 Something cage free. 1.2973 0.05214 111 83 23 5
1963 Just trim the sides. Keep the length on top. 1.2973 0.05214 111 83 23 5
1964 Just trim the flight feathers. 1.2973 0.04889 111 81 27 3
1965 He's sheltering in place, so just a little off the sides. 1.2973 0.04889 111 81 27 3
1966 I let it grow out a bit too much. Can you trim it back to an egg? 1.2973 0.04889 111 81 27 3
1967 ... and she'll fly away if you mention a little off the top. 1.2973 0.04889 111 81 27 3
1968 Yeah, hair today, loon tomorrow. 1.2973 0.05214 111 83 23 5
1969 The ducktail you did last time was a mistake. 1.2973 0.05214 111 83 23 5
1970 Shampoo, wing clip, and a little feathering on the top, please. 1.2973 0.04719 111 80 29 2
1971 I’d like a little bit off the top, but don’t touch the eggs. 1.2973 0.05214 111 83 23 5
1972 I know - I need to shave my sideburns. 1.2973 0.05054 111 81 25 4
1973 Just the back and sides. 1.2963 0.04968 108 79 26 3
1974 They say he'll fly away this fall anyway, but.... 1.2963 0.05139 108 80 24 4
1975 I’ll just need a trim, don’t mind the bird. 1.2963 0.05622 108 83 18 7
1976 What can I say, it covers the bald spot well! 1.2963 0.05305 108 81 22 5
1977 It's the nest thing in men's fashion, they say. 1.2963 0.04968 108 79 26 3
1978 No, no he's just a carrier 1.2963 0.05139 108 80 24 4
1979 I know I booked for today, but the egg's not hatched yet, so ... 1.2963 0.04968 108 78 24 3
1980 Yes I'm aware it's a bird nest. 1.2963 0.05139 108 80 24 4
1981 So just a little of the sides...What about the top? 1.2963 0.05305 108 81 22 5
1982 What's the matter? Have you not seen a mallard before 1.2963 0.05139 108 80 24 4
1983 Let me think...just off the top of your head, I'd say it'd be $50 1.2963 0.05139 108 79 24 4
1984 Just a little off the bottom 1.2963 0.05139 108 80 24 4
1985 Just lightly feather.... 1.2963 0.04968 108 79 26 3
1986 Sorry, I had wanted mo' hawk, less pigeon. 1.2963 0.04968 108 79 26 3
1987 He just wants a standard DA cut, but was scared to come in without me. 1.2963 0.05305 108 81 22 5
1988 The vet wanted fifty bucks for a wing clipping. 1.2963 0.05465 108 82 20 6
1989 Just a little off the sides-until Spring. 1.2963 0.05305 108 81 22 5
1990 But a bird on the head is worth $2 in your hand. 1.2963 0.05139 108 80 23 4
1991 1. Yeah...no shampoo...just clip the sides and feather the top. 2. Oh we've been friends for years. 3. I just enjoy the company. 4. It helps my posture. 5. He's my lookout. 6. He's working for the CDC as an avian-flu lookout. 1.2963 0.05305 108 81 22 5
1992 Today, let’s go for a starling instead, OK? 1.2963 0.05305 108 81 22 5
1993 Just clip the wings today. 1.2963 0.05305 108 81 22 5
1994 What do you charge for a partridge in a hairy tree? 1.2963 0.05465 108 80 20 6
1995 I see you like your hair feathered. 1.2963 0.04968 108 79 26 3
1996 "fifty, but the bird is going to cost you extra. 1.2963 0.05773 108 84 16 8
1997 Nothing drastic, just clean it up a bit 1.2963 0.04968 108 79 26 3
1998 I've never been a big believer of Chinese Proverbs". 1.2963 0.05465 108 82 20 6
1999 Let me guess: short back and sides? 1.2963 0.05139 108 80 24 4
2000 Can you add some twigs to the top and some straw to the sides? 1.2963 0.05622 108 83 18 7
2001 Just around the edges. 1.2963 0.04968 108 79 26 3
2002 Just take off a smidgeon. 1.2963 0.05622 108 83 18 7
2003 I want more of a rat’s nest. 1.2963 0.05139 108 80 24 4
2004 Can you fluff my hair? She is pregnant and needs a bigger nest. 1.2963 0.05305 108 81 22 5
2005 My girlfriend told me I would look sexy with feathered hair 1.2963 0.04790 108 78 28 2
2006 The sides are fine, I just need you to take something off the top. 1.2963 0.05305 108 81 22 5
2007 We’re expecting any minute now. 1.2963 0.05305 108 81 22 5
2008 Careful—it's a protected species. 1.2963 0.05305 108 81 22 5
2009 Take a little of the sides and two eggs off the top 1.2963 0.05139 108 80 24 4
2010 I have a little bit of an unusual request... 1.2963 0.04606 108 77 30 1
2011 I wanted to go full "flock of seagulls" but this is more work-appropriate. 1.2963 0.05139 108 80 24 4
2012 Short on the sides, but fuller on top. She's due next week. 1.2963 0.05465 108 82 20 6
2013 Why don’t you get creative? 1.2963 0.05305 108 81 22 5
2014 My barber is working remotely now. 1.2963 0.05305 108 81 22 5
2015 Can you trim the nest without disturbing the eggs? 1.2963 0.04968 108 79 26 3
2016 I'm thinking maybe a comb-over. 1.2963 0.05305 108 81 22 5
2017 It's been a while since my last hair cut. Why do you ask 1.2963 0.05139 108 80 24 4
2018 Ducktail? Or just some feathering on the sides? 1.2963 0.05773 108 84 16 8
2019 I think it's time to clip my wings. 1.2963 0.05139 108 80 24 4
2020 Has it been a while since you had your hair cut, Sir? 1.2963 0.04968 108 79 26 3
2021 The mohawk please. 1.2963 0.04968 108 79 26 3
2022 Just pluck a bit off the top. 1.2963 0.05305 108 81 22 5
2023 The chicks dig it this way. 1.2963 0.05305 108 81 22 5
2024 We need to convince her that you’re a tree surgeon. 1.2963 0.05305 108 81 22 5
2025 No, I never get anything off the top, why? 1.2963 0.05139 108 80 24 4
2026 i’d like to keep the beak. 1.2963 0.05139 108 80 24 4
2027 I’ll do the bird too for another $12.50. 1.2963 0.05139 108 80 24 4
2028 On the plus side, we’re empty nesters. 1.2963 0.05139 108 80 24 4
2029 What makes you think I'm a stool pigeon? 1.2963 0.05139 108 80 24 4
2030 You know what, could you just actually lower my ears this time? 1.2963 0.05139 108 80 24 4
2031 It's a bit too trendy for me. 1.2963 0.05305 108 80 22 5
2032 It’s so dry it feels like straw...do you have “product” for that? 1.2963 0.05139 108 80 24 4
2033 What’s up, duck” 1.2963 0.05305 108 81 22 5
2034 I don't know what badly drawn sharp object is in your right hand, but could you use it to kill this bird 1.2963 0.05465 108 82 20 6
2035 Are nest cuts availible? 1.2963 0.05305 108 81 22 5
2036 Sorry I missed by last two appointments 1.2963 0.05139 108 80 24 4
2037 Maybe mating season was the wrong time to try a Duck Tail cut. 1.2963 0.04790 108 80 25 3
2038 Please only trim the sides. 1.2963 0.04968 108 79 26 3
2039 I was thinking more flock of seagulls... 1.2963 0.04790 108 78 28 2
2040 This time, let’s take a little more off the top. 1.2963 0.05305 108 81 22 5
2041 Your topiary training certainly did pay off. 1.2963 0.05139 108 80 24 4
2042 edward 6foot hands 1.2963 0.04968 108 79 26 3
2043 Just trim around the ears, the top is fine! 1.2963 0.05465 108 82 20 6
2044 Close on the back and sides, don't touch the eggs. 1.2963 0.05139 108 80 24 4
2045 He attacked my girlfriend, so I think we need to find him a new head. 1.2963 0.05139 108 80 24 4
2046 How much does it cost to trim my bird? 1.2963 0.05305 108 81 22 5
2047 Just paint the eggs’ 1.2963 0.05139 108 80 24 4
2048 Make me look sharp for tonight...my bird just got back. 1.2963 0.05139 108 79 24 4
2049 The bird stays 1.2963 0.05139 108 80 24 4
2050 Cut me a nest. I’m trying to ‘branch out’ in this gig economy. 1.2963 0.05139 108 76 21 4
2051 She absolutely insisted that I need a trim. 1.2963 0.04968 108 79 26 3
2052 Great, but I’ll need you to stand six feet away while you do it. 1.2963 0.05139 108 80 24 4
2053 So - a full trim on the sides but just a smidgeon off the top. 1.2963 0.05139 108 80 24 4
2054 I was thinking of doing something a little less feathered 1.2963 0.04968 108 79 26 3
2055 Do you do man removal? 1.2963 0.05305 108 81 22 5
2056 I find people are more likely to give me space when this little guy is around. 1.2963 0.04699 108 80 25 3
2057 So are you familiar with ‘Flock of Seagulls’? 1.2963 0.05465 108 82 20 6
2058 Just a trim around the feathers please. 1.2963 0.05139 108 80 24 4
2059 Do you take flock-ins? 1.2963 0.05622 108 83 18 7
2060 It's better than a bounty on my head. 1.2963 0.04968 108 79 26 3
2061 I’m feeling a little heavy on top. 1.2963 0.05139 108 76 24 4
2062 For God's sake, Stan, I just asked for a little feathering! 1.2963 0.04968 108 79 26 3
2063 That moment when a feather cut takes on a whole new meaning! 1.2963 0.05139 108 80 24 4
2064 Could you make it less of a bird's nest and more of a Trump's nest, you know, something that nothing lives in? 1.2963 0.05465 108 82 20 6
2065 This isn't quite what I meant when I said I wanted something a bit more urban. 1.2963 0.05305 108 81 22 5
2066 Can you just do a little feathering around the edges? 1.2963 0.05465 108 82 20 6
2067 I understand your hesitasion and eco-friendly interest, but this is still my head. 1.2963 0.05139 108 80 24 4
2068 So.... how do we do this from six feet away? 1.2963 0.05139 108 80 24 4
2069 Everyone jokingly told me to get a haircut because birds will mistake my hair for a nest... so I've now decided to get a haircut. 1.2963 0.05139 108 80 24 4
2070 Could you shave my head? My hair's a bit of a bird's nest. 1.2963 0.05305 108 81 22 5
2071 I suppose it’s better than a rat’s nest. 1.2963 0.05305 108 81 22 5
2072 What's your opinion about deforestation ? 1.2963 0.05773 108 84 16 8
2073 He wants to learn how to cut hair. 1.2963 0.05139 108 80 24 4
2074 This is Polly. She likes to live dangerously. 1.2963 0.05305 108 81 22 5
2075 Really, Larry? You charged me half that much for a rat's nest six weeks ago. 1.2963 0.05139 108 80 24 4
2076 I just get so lonely 1.2963 0.05465 108 82 20 6
2077 You really do have a fowl, er full, head of hair 1.2963 0.05465 108 82 20 6
2078 But I don't have symptoms. Anyway, Covid19 isn't bird flu. 1.2963 0.05305 108 81 22 5
2079 I am not ready for a haircut. I just came to show you the bird in my bush. 1.2963 0.05465 108 82 20 6
2080 It's hereditary-- my dad had a ducktail." 1.2963 0.05465 108 82 20 6
2081 A little bird told me you'd cut me a deal. 1.2963 0.05305 108 81 22 5
2082 are you wanting a haircut or the birds wings clipped 1.2963 0.04699 108 82 20 4
2083 It’s not quite a bird in hand, but I’ll take it. 1.2963 0.05139 108 80 24 4
2084 Um, Petco is down the block, sir. 1.2963 0.05465 108 82 20 6
2085 It can be a challenge, but I left the other one in the bush. 1.2936 0.05099 109 81 24 4
2086 sides only, please 1.2936 0.04754 109 79 28 2
2087 My hair is so curly. Do you charge extra for detangling? 1.2936 0.04754 109 79 28 2
2088 PETA said I can only get a trim for now 1.2925 0.05010 106 78 25 3
2089 Just a little off the top. Be careful around the eggs. 1.2925 0.05010 106 78 25 3
2090 ....and don't bother using that neck brush, she thinks its nesting material. 1.2925 0.05356 106 80 21 5
2091 Just a light plucking today, Sam. 1.2925 0.05186 106 79 23 4
2092 Just need a little snip. The vet wanted sooo much money to clip his wings. 1.2925 0.05010 106 78 25 3
2093 My Mom says "Take it all off!" but all my friends think I'm cool! 1.2925 0.05682 106 82 17 7
2094 People keep saying my hair looks like a bird’s nest, and maybe, they are right. 1.2925 0.04827 106 77 27 2
2095 Try to keep me from looking like an egg head 1.2925 0.05186 106 79 23 4
2096 No worries! He’s already clipped. 1.2925 0.05010 106 78 25 3
2097 I never thought I'd see the day my plumage clippers would come in handy. 1.2925 0.05356 106 80 21 5
2098 I'm just sick of people calling me an egghead. 1.2925 0.05522 106 81 19 6
2099 Can you sing "Rockin' Robin" while you trim? 1.2925 0.05186 106 79 23 4
2100 For you, I'm going to have charge our premium rate. It's like a bird's nest up there! 1.2925 0.05010 106 78 25 3
2101 We’ll both go with that feathered around the collar look.” 1.2925 0.05186 106 79 23 4
2102 Short beak and sides, please. 1.2925 0.05682 106 82 17 7
2103 Ok, so my usual rat's nest has become a bird's nest, but you've got this Bill. 1.2925 0.05522 106 81 19 6
2104 I’m worried I might have lice. 1.2925 0.05356 106 80 21 5
2105 Do you mind if I read 'Audubon' while you work? 1.2897 0.04790 107 78 27 2
2106 Got wipes? 1.2897 0.05477 107 82 19 6
2107 Can you gimme a cut that makes my friends stop calling me 'Egghead'? 1.2897 0.05477 107 82 19 6
2108 He self-identifies as "carried." 1.2897 0.04970 107 79 25 3
2109 It started when I had a little birdhouse in my soul. 1.2897 0.05313 107 81 21 5
2110 Your emotional support animal will need to sit in your lap for the duration of your visit. 1.2897 0.04970 107 79 25 3
2111 Son, sorry! I stopped doing duck’s ass cuts in 1957! 1.2897 0.04790 107 77 27 2
2112 Wearing a toupee used to be so inconspicuous. 1.2897 0.04970 107 79 25 3
2113 My family thinks I’m crazy to carry around a bird on my head, but they won’t commit me because they need the eggs. 1.2897 0.05145 107 80 23 4
2114 I'll have what he's having. Feathered. 1.2897 0.03986 107 79 27 1
2115 I’ll take the Avian Tomahawk Cut haircut please.... 1.2885 0.05053 104 77 24 3
2116 I was really hoping for something more “Flock of Seagulls. 1.2885 0.05744 104 81 16 7
2117 Trim carefully...he thinks I'm old growth forest. Lee Kanning, Langley, WA 1.2885 0.05409 104 79 20 5
2118 Pigeonholed? I'm pretty sure its pigeonhead but can we just set that aside for later? 1.2871 0.05511 101 77 19 5
2119 Sorry, I’m a barber not an ornithologist . 1.2871 0.04943 101 74 25 2
2120 I’ll take the bird first. 1.2871 0.05328 101 76 21 4
2121 You see what? 1.2871 0.05511 101 77 19 5
2122 This is my wife. 1.2857 0.05365 105 80 20 5
2123 Yeah, I haven't touched my hair in forever. 1.2857 0.05191 105 79 22 4
2124 I’m working my way up to a mohawk. 1.2857 0.05191 105 79 22 4
2125 just work around her 1.2857 0.04826 105 77 26 2
2126 Your haircut laid an egg. 1.2857 0.05012 105 78 24 3
2127 Yes, I stole your pigeon. What are you going to do... stab me? 1.2857 0.05365 105 80 20 5
2128 It's a homing pigeons. It'll come back. 1.2857 0.04826 105 77 26 2
2129 I need to look smarter. 1.2857 0.05012 105 78 24 3
2130 It's the latest in toupees. 1.2857 0.04826 105 77 26 2
2131 Do you want it cut by half or quartered? 1.2857 0.05012 105 78 24 3
2132 Noise bothers Gwendolyn’ while she’s nesting, so no clippers please 1.2857 0.05365 105 80 20 5
2133 Can you give me a trim without disturbing the chicks? 1.2857 0.05012 105 74 22 1
2134 I tried to explain the practicality of being in my hand, but my companion insists upon comfort. 1.2857 0.05533 105 81 18 6
2135 Can you offer any tips on how to part? 1.2857 0.04430 105 75 30 0
2136 Perhaps I should come in every four weeks? 1.2830 0.04787 106 78 26 2
2137 Would you like me to trim your bird also? 1.2828 0.05568 99 76 18 5
2138 Just looking for something old school...maybe a man-bun with a touch of idiot sideburns? 1.2828 0.05380 99 75 20 4
2139 meh, i was hoping for something like flock of seagulls 1.2828 0.05380 99 75 20 4
2140 Any discount for bird brains? 1.2828 0.05568 99 76 18 5
2141 Well, I say, don't cut it. The looks good on you 1.2828 0.05185 99 74 22 3
2142 Could you just cut around it? 1.2812 0.05678 96 74 17 5
2143 This is better than the toupee right? 1.2800 0.05519 100 77 18 5
2144 It was called the bird brain... Now it's called a Donnie. 1.2800 0.05333 100 76 20 4
2145 Just feather it on the side 1.2800 0.05140 100 75 22 3
2146 Honestly I have no idea how long it's been up there. 1.2800 0.05519 100 77 18 5
2147 How much would you charge to trim my nest? 1.2800 0.05333 100 76 20 4
2148 Short back and beak, thanks 1.2800 0.04940 100 74 24 2
2149 Are you the nest customer? 1.2800 0.05519 100 77 18 5
2150 Please, no stool pigeon jokes. 1.2800 0.05333 100 76 20 4
2151 You know, I asked for a mohawk not a mopideon. 1.2800 0.05140 100 75 22 3
2152 He's covering up the lick the cow gave me. 1.2800 0.05519 100 77 18 5
2153 I really just want the same style but shorter, ok? 1.2800 0.05140 100 75 22 3
2154 She came back after only three weeks this time. 1.2800 0.04940 100 74 24 2
2155 Davy Crockett said you're the best. 1.2800 0.05333 100 76 20 4
2156 I need a coo cut. 1.2800 0.05519 100 77 18 5
2157 Is this an eco-friendly shop? 1.2800 0.05519 100 77 18 5
2158 I'm thinking if it is shorter, they might stop mistaking it for a nest. 1.2800 0.05140 100 75 22 3
2159 Do you want to keep the nest? 1.2800 0.05140 100 75 22 3
2160 I'd like a Mike Pence haircut. 1.2800 0.05519 100 77 18 5
2161 Honestly what's stranger, the man with the bird or the balding barber? I rest my case. 1.2800 0.05333 100 76 20 4
2162 Short on the sides, nothing off the top 1.2800 0.05140 100 75 22 3
2163 A little off the sides and easy over. 1.2800 0.05333 100 76 20 4
2164 Emptying the nest is easy, but trimming the feathers will be extra. 1.2800 0.04731 100 78 19 3
2165 Faux hawk? No, it's very real. 1.2800 0.05519 100 77 18 5
2166 What’s rational about rage? 1.2800 0.05700 100 78 16 6
2167 Oh,don't worry. Social Distancing doesn't apply to him. 1.2800 0.05333 100 76 20 4
2168 When did pigeon jokes become politically incorrect? 1.2800 0.05140 100 75 22 3
2169 Just a little feathering on the top, please. 1.2800 0.04940 100 74 24 2
2170 Do you have a pair of scissors that’s over six feet long? 1.2800 0.05519 100 77 18 5
2171 A little birdie told me you were open 1.2800 0.05140 100 75 22 3
2172 You're not the first birdbrain to ask for bangs. 1.2800 0.05519 100 77 18 5
2173 It should be free, because as a Hair Influencer, I am a walking Nest Egg! 1.2800 0.05333 100 76 20 4
2174 Short back and sides, and fluff the downy feathers. 1.2800 0.04940 100 74 24 2
2175 Just a trim. Nothing off the top. 1.2800 0.04940 100 74 24 2
2176 Do you still know how to do a mo-hawk? 1.2800 0.05140 100 75 22 3
2177 Do you require an upfront deposit? 1.2800 0.05519 100 77 18 5
2178 The bird brain is ressesive, the duck is influential... 1.2800 0.05519 100 77 18 5
2179 Can you leave it a little longer on top? 1.2784 0.05231 97 72 21 3
2180 Sure, let's go with feathered again. 1.2784 0.05022 97 72 23 2
2181 ~I think a Mohawk would work. She is sitting on eggs~ 1.2772 0.05097 101 76 22 3
2182 I'm thrilled. The bald spot was so embarrassing. 1.2755 0.05385 98 75 19 4
2183 Too much gel. It looks like statue hair. 1.2755 0.05385 98 75 19 4
2184 Not quite what I had in mind when I asked for a feathered cut 1.2755 0.05385 98 75 19 4
2185 So just enough to get him out from under your nest?” “Coo.” 1.2755 0.04536 98 71 27 0
2186 Yes, I do realize I asked for feathered hair. 1.2755 0.04979 98 73 23 2
2187 I said I wanted to look FLY, but this is ridiculous! 1.2755 0.05385 98 75 19 4
2188 Thought I should get a little trim before we migrate south... 1.2755 0.04979 98 73 23 2
2189 I got him at some dovetail joint. 1.2755 0.05385 98 75 19 4
2190 Bird brain doesn’t begin to describe it. 1.2755 0.05186 98 74 21 3
2191 Just trim around the edges a little. 1.2755 0.04979 98 73 23 2
2192 You know what they say, "a bird in the hair..." 1.2755 0.05385 98 75 19 4
2193 He's my emotional support pigeon. Just trim around him. 1.2755 0.04979 98 73 23 2
2194 Can I get a duck tail cut please? 1.2755 0.04763 98 72 25 1
2195 I haven’t done a feather cut since 1979. 1.2755 0.05186 98 74 21 3
2196 And then just feather it back 1.2755 0.05186 98 74 21 3
2197 I'm told you majored in Ornithology? 1.2755 0.04763 98 72 25 1
2198 Just trim the sides and back for me. Out of curiosity, she wants to know if you perm feathers. 1.2755 0.05186 98 74 21 3
2199 A quick side trim for me, and a cup of birdseed for m'lady! 1.2755 0.04536 98 71 27 0
2200 Can you do a little landscaping? 1.2755 0.04979 98 73 23 2
2201 No, I don’t want a Mohawk, I want you to get this pigeon out of my hair! 1.2755 0.05385 98 75 19 4
2202 Just a light feathering on the sides, please. 1.2755 0.04979 98 73 23 2
2203 I'd like a Flock-of-Seagulls, please 1.2755 0.05186 98 74 21 3
2204 Just a little off the talons, please. 1.2755 0.04174 98 73 23 1
2205 Short on the sides, loon on the top, please. 1.2755 0.04979 98 72 23 2
2206 I just came for the conversation. 1.2755 0.05385 98 75 19 4
2207 But I wanted the sides feathered." 1.2755 0.05186 98 74 21 3
2208 I know, but the eggs haven't hatched yet. 1.2755 0.04979 98 73 23 2
2209 Ixnay on the hawkmo say. 1.2755 0.05577 98 76 17 5
2210 "I'd have come in sooner but I was afraid to leave the roost." 1.2755 0.04763 98 72 25 1
2211 That haircut you gave me a month ago attracted more than just the ladies... 1.2755 0.05385 98 75 19 4
2212 He'll start pecking if you're cutting too short. 1.2755 0.04979 98 73 23 2
2213 You've heard of the canary in the coal mine... 1.2755 0.04979 98 73 23 2
2214 Trim around the edges. He covers my bald spot AND accomplishes social distancing! 1.2755 0.05385 98 75 19 4
2215 He's molting, so we'd like matching buzz-cuts. 1.2755 0.04979 98 73 23 2
2216 I want to make sure the eggs neither fall out nor get too cool 1.2755 0.05385 98 75 19 4
2217 I’ve been growing it for a while now. 1.2755 0.05385 98 75 19 4
2218 I think it looks 'coo'. 1.2755 0.04763 98 72 25 1
2219 Just trim this guy off my feet, please. 1.2755 0.05577 98 76 17 5
2220 I know you said you just wanted me to trim the sides and back, but you're gonna need more off the top than you think. 1.2755 0.04979 98 73 23 2
2221 It happened during The Irishman. 1.2755 0.05186 98 74 21 3
2222 Do you want the eggs removed? 1.2755 0.04979 98 73 23 2
2223 I'm ready for a new look. 1.2755 0.04979 98 73 23 2
2224 I'll need a good wash and I like my hair "feathered." 1.2755 0.05385 98 75 19 4
2225 Feather the top and leave the sides alone 1.2755 0.04979 98 73 23 2
2226 I bet you can’t tell, but I made myself a wig out of twigs and leaves 1.2755 0.05385 98 75 19 4
2227 Leave the top - short on the sides 1.2755 0.05186 98 74 21 3
2228 Cacciatore or Milanese? 1.2755 0.05186 98 74 21 3
2229 Did that bird just cough? 1.2755 0.05577 98 76 17 5
2230 I'm going low tech 1.2755 0.05186 98 74 21 3
2231 Can you just feather it on the sides? 1.2755 0.05186 98 74 21 3
2232 Hey, Man, don't flip me the bird. 1.2755 0.04763 98 72 25 1
2233 I'm following 'Shelter in Place,' so just take a little off the sides and condition with Purell.' 1.2755 0.05385 98 75 19 4
2234 Yeah can I get a duck tail? I think its fine up top. 1.2755 0.04536 98 71 27 0
2235 What's a crew-cut? 1.2755 0.04763 98 72 25 1
2236 Social distancing doesn't include birds 1.2755 0.05186 98 74 21 3
2237 Before I start, were you aware that there is a bird in your hair 1.2755 0.05186 98 74 21 3
2238 The lice killing shampoo that you recommended is not working the way I expected. 1.2755 0.04979 98 73 23 2
2239 Just a trim, and go very, very easy around her eggs. 1.2755 0.04536 98 71 27 0
2240 We compromised on a faux-hawk. 1.2755 0.05577 98 76 17 5
2241 I take it this was not the bird's idea? 1.2755 0.04536 98 71 27 0
2242 How about one-half dozen duck eggs? Five in my pockets and one more coming soon. 1.2755 0.05385 98 75 19 4
2243 Can you trim my duck tail? 1.2755 0.04979 98 73 23 2
2244 You're gonna need a bigger pair of scissors. 1.2755 0.04536 98 71 27 0
2245 He doesn't want to touch my face. 1.2755 0.04979 98 73 23 2
2246 What did they tell you about this in Barber College? 1.2755 0.05186 98 74 21 3
2247 I don’t want to disturb the eggs. Can you cut around her? 1.2755 0.04763 98 72 25 1
2248 I was actually looking for more of a robin. 1.2755 0.05385 98 75 19 4
2249 Just don't buzz the tower. 1.2755 0.05385 98 75 19 4
2250 It's all I could afford for my bald spot. 1.2755 0.05762 98 77 15 6
2251 Before you start with that razor, tell me you don’t like squab. 1.2755 0.05186 98 74 21 3
2252 What duck? 1.2755 0.05577 98 76 17 5
2253 I'm gonna need more than 'a little' off the top this time. 1.2755 0.05762 98 77 15 6
2254 No its not endangered. It just helps me keep 'social distancing'. 1.2755 0.04979 98 73 23 2
2255 Apparently, birds don't need to social distance. 1.2755 0.04763 98 72 25 1
2256 I thought I heard you say you wanted to look "fly"! 1.2755 0.05186 98 74 21 3
2257 You don’t have to touch me. Just stand six feet away and tell me what to do. 1.2755 0.04979 98 73 23 2
2258 Get rid of the ducktail and give me a fauxhawk. 1.2755 0.04979 98 73 23 2
2259 Just be careful of the squab Don't clip him, he keeps the bald spot warm and dry 1.2755 0.05385 98 75 19 4
2260 Why can't you take a little off the top? 1.2755 0.05186 98 74 21 3
2261 I was thinking a ducktail; but maybe a little smaller. 1.2755 0.05186 98 74 21 3
2262 Guess what, I'm gonna be an uncle. 1.2755 0.05385 98 75 19 4
2263 I think I might need help with this one. Let me give my friend Sweeney a call. 1.2755 0.05186 98 74 21 3
2264 Please give my wings a clip. 1.2755 0.05186 98 74 21 3
2265 it’s a trend bob, I swear to god. 1.2755 0.04763 98 72 25 1
2266 Don't. You think this new look is much less obvious than the comb over? 1.2755 0.04536 98 71 27 0
2267 This is just a temporary arrangement until I repair the coop. 1.2755 0.05385 98 75 19 4
2268 This was not the kind of faux hawk I had in mind! 1.2755 0.04763 98 72 25 1
2269 Just give me a trim and I'll pay you with eggs. 1.2755 0.04979 98 73 23 2
2270 I'm looking for something a little less homely. 1.2755 0.04763 98 72 25 1
2271 My wife said even the bald eagle version was better. 1.2755 0.04763 98 72 25 1
2272 Bringing your own scissors won’t protect you from the bird flu. 1.2755 0.05186 98 74 21 3
2273 I’d like it tapered on the side, inhospitable up top. 1.2755 0.04979 98 73 23 2
2274 Not quite what I meant by 'Anything but this rat's nest.' 1.2755 0.05577 98 76 17 5
2275 It all started when I got a ducktail cut. 1.2755 0.04979 98 73 23 2
2276 The Birds Nest Salon is down the road... 1.2755 0.05385 98 75 19 4
2277 A little off the sides but don't clip her wings, okay? 1.2755 0.04763 98 72 25 1
2278 He says the worst part is the self-consciousness. 1.2755 0.05385 98 75 19 4
2279 We think it's a Carrier. 1.2755 0.04979 98 73 23 2
2280 The 'S. Todd' on the door - what's the S? 1.2737 0.05487 95 73 18 4
2281 Can you feather-in my hair on the side? 1.2737 0.05279 95 72 20 3
2282 I don't like comb overs. 1.2737 0.05062 95 71 22 2
2283 Just feather the edges a bit. 1.2737 0.05279 95 72 20 3
2284 Just a little bird off the top, Sam. 1.2737 0.05687 95 74 16 5
2285 I’d like ‘The Nest’ Does your emotional support pigeon want a cut too? Give him ‘The Rachel’ 1.2737 0.05062 95 71 22 2
2286 Why would I want a toupee? 1.2737 0.05062 95 71 22 2
2287 It thinks I'm an egghead. 1.2737 0.05279 95 72 20 3
2288 Just take a little off the top and leave the egg. 1.2737 0.05062 95 71 22 2
2289 It's cool, we're friends! 1.2737 0.05687 95 74 16 5
2290 Maybe just remove the invasives? 1.2737 0.05881 95 75 14 6
2291 You said you wanted to pick-up chicks" 1.2737 0.05279 95 72 20 3
2292 It's a hairy situation now that the bird is endangered. 1.2737 0.05279 95 72 20 3
2293 Make up your mind ! Do I trim the sideburns or the nest ? 1.2737 0.05279 95 72 20 3
2294 Can you cut my hair to cover my bird brain? 1.2737 0.05487 95 73 18 4
2295 Just a minor wing clip. 1.2737 0.05279 95 72 20 3
2296 He told me it was just a phase. 1.2737 0.05687 95 74 16 5
2297 I think it looks great, but the pigeon on top of my head says you missed a spot. 1.2737 0.05487 95 73 18 4
2298 I’m afraid if you refuse, I’ll be forced to flip you the bird.” 1.2737 0.05487 95 73 18 4
2299 I was wondering if I could have a different hair spray. This one is attracting migratory ducks when I am on the patio. 1.2737 0.05487 95 73 18 4
2300 It’s a New York thing. Besides, I like the way it’s butt feels against my bald spot. Can’t you cut around it? 1.2737 0.05279 95 72 20 3
2301 I swear, Dad, I never touched your pomade. 1.2737 0.04836 95 70 24 1
2302 Removing that bird's nest at six feet will be difficult. 1.2737 0.05487 95 73 18 4
2303 Light on the wings please. 1.2737 0.05062 95 71 22 2
2304 Just a little off the top please. I am making my own version of Bird's Nest soup. 1.2737 0.05279 95 72 20 3
2305 I'm trying to grow it out into a mo-hawk. 1.2737 0.05487 95 73 18 4
2306 so you know the movie Ratatouille? 1.2737 0.05487 95 73 18 4
2307 It’s popular with the chicks. 1.2737 0.05279 95 72 20 3
2308 You have to stand at least six feet away from me? 1.2737 0.05487 95 73 18 4
2309 Are you from Seville, I see your name is Figaro. 1.2737 0.05062 95 71 22 2
2310 My first time in Seville. 1.2737 0.05687 95 74 16 5
2311 A bird on the head is worth two on the brush. 1.2737 0.05687 95 74 16 5
2312 Everyone complains that my hair's a bird's nest so that's why I'm here. 1.2737 0.04836 95 70 24 1
2313 You know who told me I needed a trim. 1.2737 0.05279 95 72 20 3
2314 Just around the sides today. 1.2737 0.04836 95 70 24 1
2315 Just a little off the sides until the eggs hatch. 1.2737 0.05487 95 73 18 4
2316 I think I want to transition to a BeeHive! 1.2737 0.05487 95 73 18 4
2317 Aren't you carrying this peace thing a bit too far? 1.2737 0.05062 95 71 22 2
2318 I’d just like a little off the top. 1.2737 0.05487 95 73 18 4
2319 No. Not a beehive. 1.2737 0.05062 95 71 22 2
2320 Yeah, it may be an egg-istenial threat. 1.2737 0.05062 95 71 22 2
2321 Be gentle with my wig. Shake it and it'll fly away. 1.2737 0.05279 95 72 20 3
2322 Just a trim around the ears today. Tweety pie is about to lay an egg. 1.2737 0.05487 95 73 18 4
2323 Epstein didn't kill himself. 1.2737 0.06068 95 76 12 7
2324 Can you do a Faux Hawk? I like to be stylish but not scary. 1.2737 0.05881 95 75 14 6
2325 He said he only wanted to crash for one night. 1.2737 0.05279 95 72 20 3
2326 Can you thin out this crow’s nest on top of my head? 1.2737 0.05279 95 72 20 3
2327 A tonsure — why? 1.2737 0.05279 95 72 20 3
2328 That’s a cage free organic hairdo that I like! 1.2737 0.05687 95 74 16 5
2329 20 bucks for the haircut, 5 to trim the bird. 1.2737 0.05279 95 72 20 3
2330 I want a egg. If you give me a egg you can get a haircut. 1.2737 0.05487 95 73 18 4
2331 How about a trim around the sides and back and leave the pigeon alone? 1.2737 0.04836 95 70 24 1
2332 Just a little off my nest, please. 1.2737 0.05487 95 73 18 4
2333 Be careful with the eggs. 1.2737 0.05687 95 74 16 5
2334 Okay, just a trim and for you? 1.2737 0.05487 95 73 18 4
2335 Do you want me to feather that hair? 1.2737 0.05279 95 72 20 3
2336 Photographic evidence of the inspiration for the ducktail. 1.2737 0.05487 95 73 18 4
2337 You here for pickup or delivery? 1.2737 0.05487 95 72 18 4
2338 I'm over the duck tail look. 1.2737 0.05279 95 72 20 3
2339 The usual bald eagle, please. 1.2737 0.05687 95 74 16 5
2340 A little birdie told me I should get this hairstyle. 1.2737 0.06068 95 76 12 7
2341 I'd like just a smidgen off the top. 1.2737 0.05687 95 74 16 5
2342 Go easy around the eggs. 1.2737 0.05487 95 73 18 4
2343 I heard feathering is in right now. 1.2737 0.05279 95 72 20 3
2344 Do you have six-foot shears? 1.2737 0.05487 95 73 18 4
2345 Do you want a loon-e-tune up or just a plain duck tail? 1.2737 0.05279 95 72 20 3
2346 I think you took too much off the top last time. 1.2737 0.05062 95 71 22 2
2347 Just clip the wings and take a little off the tail. 1.2737 0.05687 95 74 16 5
2348 I think it's time for a crewcut, Floyd. 1.2737 0.05487 95 73 18 4
2349 So I don't have any cash, but I can give you a baker's dozen of fresh eggs 1.2737 0.05279 95 72 20 3
2350 Ducktails are "in" again, but I could only catch a pigeon. 1.2737 0.05279 95 72 20 3
2351 I need to trim back my nest egg. 1.2737 0.05279 95 72 20 3
2352 I don't think "much better than a comb-over" is how I'd describe this look. 1.2737 0.05279 95 72 20 3
2353 Call it vain, but I am too proud for male pattern baldness. 1.2737 0.05487 95 73 18 4
2354 Just a trim around the ears, please. 1.2737 0.05487 95 73 18 4
2355 A little off the sides, please. Try not to disturb the eggs/ 1.2737 0.05062 95 71 22 2
2356 I was hoping to change up to a beehive? 1.2737 0.05687 95 74 16 5
2357 I'm thinking about a Mohawk. 1.2737 0.05487 95 73 18 4
2358 Can you leave the top as-is and just take a little off the sides? 1.2737 0.05062 95 71 22 2
2359 Oh, so I'm the odd one? How about: everyone else is the empty nester! 1.2737 0.05487 95 73 18 4
2360 Actually my name is John but everyone calls me "bird brain". 1.2737 0.05487 95 73 18 4
2361 Would you like me to clip your wings? 1.2737 0.05881 95 75 14 6
2362 He thinks my cut should be more chic... 1.2737 0.05279 95 72 20 3
2363 All I wanted was a DA, but the last guy gave me the bird! 1.2737 0.05487 95 73 18 4
2364 That’s nothing , back in the 60s’ I had an eagle’s nest up there. 1.2737 0.05881 95 75 14 6
2365 I would like a trim. Please be careful of the hair extension. 1.2737 0.06068 95 76 12 7
2366 Don’t blame me - it’s the governor who ordered shelter-in-place! 1.2737 0.05487 95 73 18 4
2367 Could we try a little less nest-like this time 1.2737 0.05487 95 73 18 4
2368 No, shaving it off won't work. He thinks there's hardwood under the carpet. 1.2737 0.05487 95 73 18 4
2369 I think a high fade would suit both of us 1.2737 0.05062 95 71 22 2
2370 He said he would fly south in a few weeks, so just a trim today. 1.2737 0.05279 95 72 20 3
2371 Do you want it trimmed or feathered? 1.2737 0.05881 95 75 14 6
2372 I'd buzz it all off before resorting to a ridiculous comb over, which has never fooled anyone, ever. 1.2737 0.05279 95 72 20 3
2373 My grandpa says he had a ducktail. 1.2737 0.05279 95 72 20 3
2374 Have you ever seen a baby pigeon? 1.2737 0.05487 95 73 18 4
2375 You haven't heard that ducktails are coming back. 1.2737 0.05687 95 74 16 5
2376 Just a little off the sides, you know, the usual. 1.2737 0.05062 95 71 22 2
2377 I’m thinking something that might attract a hawk. 1.2737 0.05487 95 73 18 4
2378 Come back when the chicks have hatched 1.2737 0.05687 95 74 16 5
2379 Is your conditioner edible? 1.2727 0.05337 99 75 19 4
2380 I asked for a duck-tail. I don't know what the hell this is. 1.2727 0.05337 99 76 19 4
2381 Just a little off the nest, and try take out the big twigs." 1.2727 0.05140 99 75 21 3
2382 This is your first 'Bird's Nest' cut, isn't it? 1.2708 0.05437 96 72 15 4
2383 The early bird gets a number 2 on the sides and keeps it long on top 1.2708 0.04794 96 71 24 1
2384 Can you do something about this nest in my hair? 1.2708 0.05017 96 72 22 2
2385 Just be careful not to clip the wings 1.2708 0.05017 96 72 22 2
2386 Are you pet-friendly? 1.2708 0.05635 96 75 16 5
2387 Just trim the wings, thanks 1.2708 0.04794 96 71 24 1
2388 Just a trim today. And could you be careful around the beak, he was complaining that you nicked him last time. 1.2708 0.05231 96 73 20 3
2389 Leave the nest. 1.2708 0.05437 96 74 18 4
2390 I got it! You want me to feather your hair. 1.2708 0.05017 96 72 22 2
2391 It's for my Instagram influencer page. #bird #naturephotography #wildlife... 1.2708 0.05437 96 74 18 4
2392 Can you recommend a new style? My bird has been at me to step it up a bit. 1.2708 0.05437 96 74 18 4
2393 So I know you've heard of a ducktail... 1.2708 0.05017 96 72 22 2
2394 Bec careful of my ducktail. 1.2708 0.05231 96 73 20 3
2395 To keep our distance, he follows voice commands and can use scissors. 1.2708 0.05231 96 73 20 3
2396 People keep staring at me. I guess I may need to have my hair trimmed a little. 1.2708 0.05017 96 72 22 2
2397 We need your hair/plumage weave for our spring courtship display and mating dance. 1.2708 0.05231 96 73 20 3
2398 It was either here or above Joan’s Volvo. 1.2708 0.05231 96 73 20 3
2399 Just a trim. Don't disturb my nest egg. 1.2708 0.05231 96 73 20 3
2400 She leaves every half hour for about 20 minutes. Can you work fast and avoid harming the chicks? 1.2708 0.05231 96 73 20 3
2401 I don't want you to disturb her nest. 1.2708 0.05437 96 74 18 4
2402 Our remaining inventory of social distancing devices is rather limited, but this one is half off. 1.2708 0.05437 96 74 18 4
2403 My Dad had a duck's ass haircut but I think a pigeon nest is more appropriate for my generation. 1.2708 0.05826 96 75 14 6
2404 Forget about the bird. Do you have longer scissors? Like 6ft in length. How bout a mask. You got a mask? 1.2708 0.05635 96 75 16 5
2405 I’m reducing my screen time, but I’m still on Twitter. 1.2708 0.05437 96 74 18 4
2406 Can we just get a little trim around the sides? 1.2708 0.04794 96 71 24 1
2407 You keep telling us to get lost, but he always knows he way back. 1.2708 0.05635 96 75 16 5
2408 I'm not particular, just take a little off the top and zhuzh it with breadcrumbs. 1.2708 0.05231 96 73 20 3
2409 Please start with whomever you wish, we have no pecking order. 1.2708 0.05231 96 73 20 3
2410 Do you mind if I live tweet this? 1.2660 0.05056 94 71 21 2
2411 My wife sent me back. She said feathering isn’t in this season. 1.2660 0.05278 94 72 19 3
2412 There ain't no words for the beauty, the splendor, the wonder of my hair. 1.2660 0.05695 94 74 15 5
2413 A little birdie told me it was time. 1.2660 0.05490 94 73 17 4
2414 How funny I was planning on getting the Bye Bye Birdie haircut too. 1.2660 0.05490 94 73 17 4
2415 Use mousse? No, that would be too much. 1.2660 0.05490 94 73 17 4
2416 Lately, its really been weighing on me. 1.2660 0.04825 94 69 23 1
2417 Gonna have to charge you for both of you 1.2660 0.05056 94 71 21 2
2418 I asked for a duck tail. 1.2660 0.05278 94 72 19 3
2419 I guess something less 'nest-like'" 1.2660 0.05056 94 71 21 2
2420 ...and remember, I'm not only the Hair Club President, but I'm also a client. 1.2660 0.05892 94 75 13 6
2421 A little off the sides and then scrambled on top. 1.2660 0.05278 94 72 19 3
2422 Just a little bird off the top. 1.2660 0.05056 94 71 21 2
2423 Just the usual please. 1.2660 0.04825 94 70 23 1
2424 Well, that is one way to cover a rat's nest. 1.2660 0.05278 94 72 19 3
2425 A little off the top, please! 1.2660 0.05278 94 72 19 3
2426 Let's lose the DA. 1.2660 0.05278 94 72 19 3
2427 It's a sublet...just trim around her. 1.2660 0.05490 94 73 17 4
2428 What? It's a PA, DA's are so 1950's 1.2660 0.05278 94 72 19 3
2429 Why yes, I switched to a floral shampoo. 1.2660 0.05490 94 73 17 4
2430 I suspect it was my dad. He kept saying When are you going to do something about that bird's nest. 1.2660 0.04825 94 70 23 1
2431 Can you take a little, but not off the top? 1.2660 0.05278 94 72 19 3
2432 I get the squab cut, but please don’t disturb the top too much. 1.2660 0.04825 94 70 23 1
2433 The pear tree died a few weeks ago so there's nothing I can do until next Christmas. 1.2660 0.05278 94 72 19 3
2434 The usual--just a little off the top. 1.2660 0.05278 94 72 19 3
2435 I want it to really sing. 1.2660 0.05490 94 73 17 4
2436 Crosswords of the future will call it a coo do. 1.2660 0.05892 94 75 13 6
2437 I'm told my dovetail is out of style. Any suggestions? 1.2660 0.05056 94 71 21 2
2438 How do you feel about trying something different? 1.2660 0.05278 94 72 19 3
2439 A trim, a pluck and a deep fry that will be $15.00 1.2660 0.05695 94 74 15 5
2440 I'm wearing this to remind you to just trim around the ears. 1.2660 0.05490 94 73 17 4
2441 He'd like the cockatoo-do. 1.2660 0.05490 94 73 17 4
2442 Maybe less feathered this time. 1.2660 0.05056 94 71 21 2
2443 Be carefull around the eggs!!! 1.2660 0.05278 94 72 19 3
2444 So, my last barber wasn't much of "a listener" 1.2660 0.05056 94 71 21 2
2445 Back and sides, obviously. 1.2660 0.05278 94 72 19 3
2446 You and your grody ass pigeon have to get out of my barber shop. 1.2660 0.05490 94 73 17 4
2447 Please. Just one more quick trim before the chicks hatch. 1.2660 0.05278 94 72 19 3
2448 How do I look? 1.2660 0.05490 94 73 17 4
2449 No. It's NOT a Gen Z thing. 1.2660 0.05490 94 73 17 4
2450 I know you do customers whose hair is a rat’s nest, but what about a bird’s nest? 1.2660 0.05056 94 71 21 2
2451 I asked for a duck tail, and the guy got carried away 1.2660 0.05056 94 71 21 2
2452 I sorry Mr. Byrd, I miss-understood. I don't do birds. 1.2660 0.05490 94 73 17 4
2453 It's the original DA. 1.2660 0.05278 94 72 19 3
2454 A shave for me and a preening for him. 1.2660 0.05490 94 73 17 4
2455 Now I can finally catch up on all my unread New Yorkers. 1.2660 0.05695 94 74 15 5
2456 Ducktail in the back, feathered on the sides--don't mess with the top. 1.2660 0.05490 94 73 17 4
2457 Just be sure not to clip his wings. 1.2660 0.05278 94 72 19 3
2458 I suppose you want two for one? 1.2660 0.05490 94 73 17 4
2459 Trim everything but the ass. 1.2660 0.05695 94 74 15 4
2460 I want something as close as you can get to a ducktail. 1.2660 0.05278 94 72 19 3
2461 Can you take a little off the top and sides without disturbing Matilda and her eggs? 1.2660 0.05056 94 71 21 2
2462 Could you take a little off the top? My wife says my hair looks like a bird’s nest! 1.2660 0.05490 94 73 17 4
2463 This time, please feather the sides. 1.2660 0.05278 94 72 19 3
2464 Just the usual trim, please, and feather the edges. 1.2660 0.05278 94 72 19 3
2465 He's just along for the ride. 1.2660 0.05490 94 73 17 4
2466 Can I get a feathered buzz cut? 1.2660 0.05056 94 71 21 2
2467 You have to give me a new hair style or I'll end up with a virus named after me. 1.2660 0.05695 94 74 15 5
2468 Just a little off around the tail feathers. 1.2660 0.05278 94 72 19 3
2469 No, sorry, we only do mohawks. 1.2660 0.05278 94 72 19 3
2470 At first nothing happened. Then after a moment or two nothing continued to happen. " 1.2660 0.05490 94 73 17 4
2471 I'd like you to trim the bird but leave the eggs. 1.2660 0.05278 94 72 19 3
2472 I'm thinking a little of the top should do it. 1.2660 0.05278 94 72 19 3
2473 Just a little bird off the top, please. 1.2660 0.05056 94 71 21 2
2474 You any good at feathered hair? 1.2660 0.05056 94 71 21 2
2475 Can we take this online? 1.2660 0.05695 94 74 15 5
2476 Do you guys still do Ducktails? 1.2660 0.05278 94 72 19 3
2477 Little off the sides. Don’t touch the top. 1.2660 0.04825 94 70 23 1
2478 Thanks, they haven't canceled the MET yet. 1.2660 0.05056 94 71 21 2
2479 It’s just a less common symptom of bird flu; just cut around it. 1.2660 0.05056 94 71 21 2
2480 A little off the top, sir? 1.2660 0.05892 94 75 13 6
2481 Cut it in quarters and then give me a quick trim 1.2660 0.05892 94 75 13 6
2482 I'm sorry, we ran out of toucan pompadours, so you're gonna have to settle for the pigeon. 1.2660 0.05056 94 71 21 2
2483 My wife says I look twenty years younger. 1.2660 0.05695 94 74 15 5
2484 And You're sure Your Little Friend Won't Mind?? 1.2660 0.05695 94 74 15 5
2485 Who usually cuts your hair, Mr. Kilmer? 1.2660 0.05892 94 75 13 6
2486 I've been self quarantined for a while. 1.2660 0.04825 94 70 23 1
2487 We're not hiring. Most guys are getting wigs, like President Trump! 1.2660 0.05695 94 73 15 5
2488 Do you slit throats painlessly? 1.2660 0.05278 94 72 19 3
2489 Can you take a bit off the top? This feathered hair style is for the birds. 1.2660 0.05278 94 72 19 3
2490 Have you tried putting peanut butter in your hair to get it out? 1.2660 0.05278 94 72 19 3
2491 My Covid-19 test came back negative, but my doctor thinks I should be tested for avian flu, can you believe it? 1.2660 0.05278 94 72 19 3
2492 I heard you have a Two for one special 1.2660 0.05278 94 72 19 3
2493 ...and if you would, clip the wings while you're at it? 1.2660 0.05056 94 71 21 2
2494 I thought it was cute having a bird on your head, until she laid the eggs. 1.2660 0.05278 94 72 19 3
2495 A little off the sides and feather the top 1.2660 0.05056 94 71 21 2
2496 If you could work around the nest, that'd be great. The eggs are pretty decent, especially when they don't crack prematurely... - Susan DeVico, California 1.2660 0.05490 94 73 17 4
2497 She just wants the nest trimmed a little. 1.2660 0.05278 94 72 19 3
2498 Of course I've looked--two eggs; there were three, but I ate one. 1.2660 0.05056 94 71 21 2
2499 Just a trim around the beak. 1.2660 0.05278 94 72 19 3
2500 Maybe a little shorter this time. 1.2660 0.05056 94 71 21 2
2501 Give me a trim that will last till the end of spring. 1.2660 0.05056 94 71 21 2
2502 It's a passenger pigeon. Just part down the middle and feather. 1.2660 0.04825 94 70 23 1
2503 I haven't seen you in a while, so let me understand. Something's sheltering in place, thus nothing off the top? 1.2660 0.05278 94 72 19 3
2504 How bout a couple’s discount? 1.2660 0.05695 94 74 15 5
2505 Just a trim. I've gotten used to the ducktail. 1.2660 0.05490 94 73 17 4
2506 Just a little off the sides; carefully and scissors only? 1.2660 0.05490 94 73 17 4
2507 Leave the sides and feather cut the top. 1.2660 0.05278 94 72 19 3
2508 Hi Carl, just a trim around the ears today. 1.2660 0.05490 94 73 17 4
2509 Please use scissors, she is expecting and the noise disturbs her. 1.2660 0.04825 94 70 23 1
2510 He would like his wings clipped but not too short. 1.2660 0.05490 94 73 17 4
2511 Can we play ‘When Doves Cry’ when you do this? 1.2660 0.05278 94 72 19 3
2512 Just a little bit off the sides... I'm molting on top 1.2660 0.05056 94 71 21 2
2513 I'm not too worried. After all, I didn't catch the bird flu. 1.2660 0.05056 94 71 21 2
2514 Well I’m very self conscious of the bald spot. 1.2660 0.05490 94 73 17 4
2515 Just a little off the top that dovetails nicely into a ducktail. 1.2660 0.05056 94 71 21 2
2516 The usual. Oh, and a feather cut for him. 1.2660 0.05278 94 72 19 3
2517 I'M NOT SITTING IN THAT UNTIL I HAVE PROOF IT'S BEEN SANITIZED 1.2660 0.06083 94 76 11 7
2518 Ok. I agree that Mullet and Mallard sound a bit the same but I’m still not giving you a tip. 1.2660 0.05695 94 74 15 5
2519 How many eggs for a haircut? 1.2660 0.05278 94 72 19 3
2520 I will be back after the eggs hatch. 1.2660 0.05056 94 69 20 2
2521 One inch all around, raise the sideburns but don't clip my wings 1.2660 0.05278 94 72 19 3
2522 So I understand,the haircut is $25 and feather trim and fluff is $15? 1.2660 0.05278 94 72 19 3
2523 Not what feathering my hair usually means, but ok. 1.2660 0.05056 94 71 21 2
2524 Just a little trim to let him fly off! 1.2660 0.05056 94 71 21 2
2525 I’ll have a trim then get this nut off my ass 1.2660 0.05490 94 73 17 4
2526 Just a little off the sides for now. I'll make an another appointment after the kid has fledged. 1.2660 0.05278 94 72 19 3
2527 Got any haircut recommendations for stool pigeons? 1.2660 0.05278 94 72 19 3
2528 The wife said my hair’s like a rat’s nest - always she exaggerates! 1.2660 0.05278 94 72 19 3
2529 Just a tidy up... we’re expecting company 1.2660 0.05056 94 71 21 2
2530 I asked for the duck tail. I think I like this better. 1.2660 0.05278 94 72 19 3
2531 Just feather it a bit on the sides. 1.2660 0.04825 94 70 23 1
2532 If you cut it too short, I'l give you the bird. 1.2660 0.05278 94 72 19 3
2533 My hair’s been sending me messages for a while now... 1.2660 0.05695 94 74 15 5
2534 Just a coo cut today, thanks Al. 1.2660 0.05490 94 73 17 4
2535 My name is Papageno, and it's a few years since I've had a haircut. 1.2660 0.05490 94 73 17 4
2536 Be careful. She bites. 1.2660 0.05490 94 73 17 4
2537 Just a little off the sides but be careful not to clip his wings. 1.2660 0.04825 94 70 23 1
2538 She's a very protective mother but as long you skip the electric clippers I think we'll be ok 1.2660 0.05490 94 73 17 4
2539 - Do not touch my eggs, please! 1.2660 0.05490 94 73 17 4
2540 Just a bit off the top, then? 1.2660 0.05056 94 71 21 2
2541 So I'm looking for more af a squirrel 's nest. 1.2660 0.05278 94 72 19 3
2542 My wife suggested I get a little off the top. 1.2660 0.04825 94 70 23 1
2543 Sooo...how do we do this now? 1.2660 0.05278 94 72 19 3
2544 Don't let the pigeon choose the haircut... 1.2660 0.05490 94 73 17 4
2545 Charlie, my emotional support pigeon 1.2660 0.04825 94 69 23 1
2546 Just a little around the edges and a wing clipping. 1.2660 0.05278 94 72 19 3
2547 The coop was full and I felt sorry for him, ok? Now you be the bad guy and figure out how to evict him. 1.2660 0.05490 94 73 17 4
2548 There's a plucking bird in my hair! 1.2660 0.05490 94 73 17 4
2549 Will this cost me my whole nest egg? 1.2660 0.05695 94 74 15 5
2550 I think the universe it telling me I need a haircut. 1.2660 0.05056 94 71 21 2
2551 She said just until her eggs hatched.... but then she got empty nest syndrome 1.2660 0.05490 94 73 17 4
2552 He’s my muse. 1.2660 0.05278 94 72 19 3
2553 Yes, but there will be an additional charge for manscaping. 1.2660 0.05278 94 72 19 3
2554 Read the lease..."survivors get lifetime tenancy". 1.2660 0.05278 94 72 19 3
2555 Just something cheep today. 1.2660 0.05056 94 71 21 2
2556 Sorry, that cut is out of season. 1.2660 0.05490 94 73 17 4
2557 PETA recommends leaving the wings unclipped. 1.2660 0.05490 94 73 17 4
2558 Just feather a little around the top. 1.2660 0.05278 94 72 19 3
2559 Ducktail please. 1.2660 0.05490 94 73 17 4
2560 Not too short. Her eggs haven't hatched yet. 1.2660 0.05278 94 72 19 3
2561 How about an environmentally sustainable fashion statement? 1.2660 0.05278 94 72 19 3
2562 He gets a bit boisterous sometimes, so if you could just clip his wings. 1.2660 0.05490 94 73 17 4
2563 Careful, there's a bird in my hair. 1.2660 0.05056 94 71 21 2
2564 I normally get a number two on the sides. 1.2660 0.06083 94 76 11 7
2565 What? It's not the Bird Flu this time. 1.2660 0.04582 94 71 22 1
2566 Last time I was here you clipped me too short, and now I gotta pay this schmuck to drive me around. 1.2660 0.05490 94 73 17 4
2567 The sides just need feathering. 1.2660 0.05490 94 73 17 4
2568 Feather the sides too, will ya? 1.2660 0.05490 94 73 17 4
2569 I'm not really a barber, but sit down and I'll give it a try. 1.2660 0.05056 94 71 21 2
2570 Just give me a duck tail 1.2660 0.04825 94 70 23 1
2571 Can you work around the bird? 1.2660 0.05695 94 74 15 5
2572 High and tight and over easy. 1.2660 0.05056 94 71 21 2
2573 I thought it would attract cute quirky women - it actually promotes social distancing. 1.2660 0.04825 94 70 23 1
2574 Just chop it all off. Except the duck - I need the eggs. 1.2660 0.05056 94 71 21 2
2575 My friend here would like a little off the top. And, um, be careful. 1.2660 0.05278 94 72 19 3
2576 CaCan you just feather the edges? 1.2660 0.05490 94 73 17 4
2577 I'm back for the spring. 1.2660 0.05490 94 73 17 4
2578 You're right, but what's really weird is that it's pelagic. 1.2660 0.04825 94 70 23 1
2579 One essential haircut please. 1.2660 0.05490 94 73 17 4
2580 Just the duck tail, please 1.2660 0.05490 94 73 17 4
2581 He’s my security bird. He keeps my head from exploding. 1.2660 0.05056 94 71 21 2
2582 Just a little off of the back & sides, please. 1.2660 0.05056 94 71 21 2
2583 Was your head in the clouds? 1.2660 0.05490 94 73 17 4
2584 How about I just talk you through it. 1.2660 0.04582 94 69 25 0
2585 Can we just do side burns and take a little off the top. 1.2660 0.05278 94 72 19 3
2586 Can you give me a buzz cut without scaring my friend? 1.2660 0.05278 94 72 19 3
2587 Got anything to tame flyaway hair? 1.2660 0.05490 94 73 17 4
2588 I got rid of my pigeon toes. Anything you can do about this? 1.2660 0.05056 94 71 21 2
2589 My wife told me wings went out in the 80s. 1.2660 0.04825 94 70 23 1
2590 I started noticing it when I'd go swimming or old ladies would toss bread crumbs. 1.2660 0.05278 94 72 19 3
2591 Take a little bit off the top, but watch out for the eggs. 1.2660 0.05695 94 74 15 5
2592 You can call it a pigeon. I call it a dove. 1.2660 0.05278 94 72 19 3
2593 Thought I'd kill two birds with one stone here. 1.2660 0.06083 94 76 11 7
2594 How do I tame flyaways? 1.2660 0.04825 94 70 23 1
2595 First,get the bird and the nest off. Then,make my head not look like a tree! 1.2660 0.04825 94 70 23 1
2596 This pigeon look is much better - the mohawk was a little aggressive. 1.2660 0.05278 94 72 19 3
2597 What? This? It's a new treatment for male pattern baldness. 1.2660 0.05056 94 71 21 2
2598 Just a little chick off the top. 1.2660 0.05695 94 74 15 5
2599 Are you sure this is what a duck-tail looks like" 1.2660 0.05695 94 74 15 5
2600 He is still working on it 1.2660 0.05056 94 71 21 2
2601 Could you just take a lot off the top? 1.2660 0.05490 94 73 17 4
2602 That’s far enough. 1.2660 0.05490 94 73 17 4
2603 Doves went out in the 1960s, junior. 1.2660 0.05490 94 73 17 4
2604 Go easy. He owes me back rent. 1.2660 0.05695 94 74 15 5
2605 Sir, I need this bird killed. 1.2660 0.05056 94 71 21 2
2606 Twenty bucks to the Audubon Society, and your area will look better in no time. 1.2660 0.05490 94 73 17 4
2607 I'm thinking less mohawk and more dovetail. 1.2660 0.05278 94 71 19 3
2608 Could we work out an exchange? 1.2660 0.05056 94 71 21 2
2609 I want the works. It's mating season. 1.2660 0.04825 94 70 23 1
2610 "Let's not squabble about price." 1.2660 0.05278 94 72 19 3
2611 The latest trendy cut. Sheltering in. 1.2660 0.05278 94 72 19 3
2612 Yeah, just sideburns again, Sal. 1.2660 0.04825 94 70 23 1
2613 Hi I’d like to try something new, also don’t scare the duck 1.2637 0.05144 91 69 20 2
2614 Just around the ears; leave the top alone for awhile. 1.2637 0.05599 91 71 16 4
2615 Turns out my wife hates the feathering. 1.2637 0.05376 91 70 18 3
2616 Not exactly what I had in mind when I said “Duck’s Ass 1.2637 0.05813 91 71 14 5
2617 This way, no one can see my bald spot. 1.2632 0.05229 95 73 19 3
2618 Do you manscape? 1.2626 0.04560 99 76 21 2
2619 High and tight Nick, but a quick heads up: buzz the sides or the eggs and she'll peck your eyes out. 1.2609 0.05096 92 70 20 2
2620 Could you leave a bit more on the top? 1.2609 0.05096 92 70 20 2
2621 Pigeon: “Please remove everything below the hairline.” 1.2609 0.05325 92 71 18 3
2622 Hmmm, "A bird in the hand..."? 1.2609 0.05756 92 73 14 5
2623 Social distancing means I can get away with two-to-six more weeks of hat head. 1.2609 0.05545 92 72 16 4
2624 Just a little off the sides. Gently. 1.2609 0.04856 92 69 22 1
2625 Just a shampoo, actually. 1.2609 0.05096 92 70 20 2
2626 Customer : Did you even cut my hair ?! It looks the same ! Barber: That's the best I could do from six feet away ! 1.2609 0.05545 92 72 16 4
2627 I know you're closed, but if I kick the bucket soon, I'd like my hair to look nice. 1.2604 0.05182 96 74 19 3
2628 I tested negative. Don't know about my duck. 1.2584 0.05426 89 69 17 3
2629 Gimme the usual... a 'DA'. 1.2584 0.05185 89 68 19 2
2630 A hunter missed him by just a hair. 1.2584 0.05656 89 70 15 4
2631 Molting season again 1.2584 0.04933 89 67 21 1
2632 Just trim my duck ass, please 1.2584 0.05426 89 69 17 3
2633 My friends all say it's not so much a ducktail as a pigeon tail. 1.2584 0.05185 89 68 19 2
2634 My last barber was a bit of a bird enthusiast. 1.2584 0.05656 89 70 15 4
2635 I was hoping you still had the free popcorn 1.2584 0.05878 89 71 13 5
2636 I thought I'd look good in a feathered cut. 1.2584 0.05185 89 68 19 2
2637 We’ll have to de-feather to start and then a round of deep conditioning. 1.2584 0.05185 89 68 19 2
2638 Put them both on her bill. 1.2581 0.05275 93 72 18 3
2639 Don’t take too much off the top. 1.2558 0.05532 86 67 16 3
2640 I know it’s supposed to be good luck, but the whole bird? 1.2558 0.05279 86 66 18 2
2641 It started as some fuzz under my feathers and just got worse. 1.2558 0.05532 86 67 16 3
2642 Just a little below the ears please. 1.2558 0.05532 86 67 16 3
2643 The pigeon option is on a first-come first-serve basis. 1.2558 0.05774 86 68 14 4
2644 The top is ok. Just a trim on the sides. 1.2558 0.05279 86 66 18 2
2645 Did I forget to take my hair nest off again? 1.2558 0.05774 86 68 14 4
2646 I know that I asked for a feathered look, but this is a bit extreme 1.2558 0.05279 86 66 18 2
2647 Bill, I know this is a big ask, but can you feather the sides to match the top? 1.2558 0.05279 86 66 18 2
2648 Just try to get rid of some of the flyaway hairs. 1.2558 0.05532 86 67 16 3
2649 Would like it a little less bushy. 1.2532 0.05544 79 61 16 2
2650 I was referred to you by the Audubon Society. 1.2529 0.04964 87 66 20 1
2651 Mom says my hair looks like a bird's nest. 1.2529 0.05226 87 67 18 2
2652 Just take a smidgeon off the top. 1.2529 0.05476 87 68 16 3
2653 I'm wanting more of an eagle look this time. 1.2529 0.04687 87 65 22 0
2654 Just a little off the tail feathers. 1.2529 0.05226 87 67 18 2
2655 I asked my last stylist for a faux hawk. 1.2529 0.05476 87 68 16 3
2656 And my wife would like a quarter of an inch taken off her tail feathers. 1.2529 0.05715 87 69 14 4
2657 I wanna look coo... 1.2529 0.05944 87 70 12 5
2658 Do what you can ... it’s been a long hibernating winter. 1.2529 0.05226 87 67 18 2
2659 I know it’s a bit of a bird’s nest, but could you turn it into a hawk? 1.2529 0.05226 87 67 18 2
2660 Remember when all we had to worry about was bird flu? 1.2529 0.05226 87 67 18 2
2661 I'd like to keep the bird. 1.2529 0.05476 87 68 16 3
2662 Would a pompadour cover it? 1.2529 0.04964 87 66 20 1
2663 The usual around the edges, but don't break a leg, or egg for that matter. 1.2529 0.05226 87 67 18 2
2664 Can you do a fauxauk? 1.2529 0.05226 87 67 18 2
2665 Before you begin, I gotta tell you, I got worms. 1.2529 0.05226 87 67 18 2
2666 Just a light preen for both of us, please. 1.2529 0.05226 87 67 18 2
2667 In light of current precaution, how will you trim my hair being a minimum of six feet away? 1.2529 0.05226 87 67 18 2
2668 Shes a rescue so just give me a trim. 1.2529 0.05226 87 67 18 2
2669 Can you do something about these fly-aways? 1.2529 0.05226 87 67 18 2
2670 I was thinking about going a little retro. Maybe a duck tail? 1.2529 0.04964 87 66 20 1
2671 Sorry, the Chinese restaurant across the street is closed now. You’ll have to skip your soup this time. 1.2529 0.04964 87 66 20 1
2672 Some wings please. 1.2529 0.05476 87 68 16 3
2673 It's the duck tail redux. 1.2529 0.04964 87 66 19 1
2674 Just cut around it. It helps with social distancing. 1.2529 0.05715 87 69 14 4
2675 Well, most customers don't come in wearing a bird on their head, Sir, but sure, I can clean that up a bit for you. 1.2529 0.05226 87 67 18 2
2676 No, I said I wanted a MoHAWK. 1.2529 0.05476 87 68 16 3
2677 She is nesting, work around her. 1.2529 0.05476 87 68 16 3
2678 Length is good, but I don't like the feathering. 1.2529 0.04964 87 66 20 1
2679 Anything but a mohawk. 1.2529 0.05715 87 69 14 4
2680 Leave straw and sticks on the back, 1 egg still needs to hatch. 1.2529 0.05226 87 67 18 2
2681 Yes, a radical cut would tell her that social distancing applies to her too. 1.2529 0.05476 87 68 16 3
2682 Just a trim please, and don't cut of the legs. 1.2529 0.05715 87 69 14 4
2683 Thanks for another great haircut, Greg. 1.2529 0.05476 87 68 16 3
2684 Do you offer couples styling? 1.2529 0.05226 87 67 18 2
2685 Sorry, no pets allowed 1.2529 0.05226 87 67 18 2
2686 So... you... put a bird on it? 1.2529 0.05715 87 69 14 4
2687 When was the last time you did a D.A.? 1.2529 0.05226 87 67 18 2
2688 Just a little trim around the feathers, please. 1.2529 0.05226 87 67 18 2
2689 Would I have a pigeon if I wanted a Duck's Ass? 1.2529 0.05944 87 70 12 5
2690 I’ll need a permit before I can cut that 1.2529 0.05226 87 67 18 2
2691 Just a Trim around the nest please. 1.2529 0.05476 87 68 16 3
2692 No sir ..El Pollo Loco why that's one block over. 1.2529 0.05476 87 68 16 3
2693 It was a while back. 1.2529 0.05476 87 68 16 3
2694 So you want me to shave around the incubation area? 1.2529 0.04964 87 66 20 1
2695 Watch out for the eggs 1.2529 0.05476 87 68 16 3
2696 He wants a birds eye view when you take a little off the top. 1.2529 0.05476 87 68 16 3
2697 No, it’s my fault. I should have said I wanted a ducktail HAIRCUT. 1.2529 0.05226 87 67 18 2
2698 You want haircut with or without the bird? 1.2529 0.05715 87 69 14 4
2699 I "I don't really need a haircut. I'll pay the $30, but do you think we could just talk?" 1.2529 0.05476 87 68 16 3
2700 I'd like a little off the top, please. 1.2529 0.05476 87 68 16 3
2701 Just take a linnet off the top. 1.2529 0.05476 87 68 16 3
2702 A LIGHT TRIM FOR ME AND A TWIG SNIP FOR BIRDIE`S NEST 1.2529 0.05476 87 68 16 3
2703 Oh, he pays his own way, as always. Do you take tiny bird credit cards? 1.2529 0.05476 87 68 16 3
2704 Who said anything about a haircut? We'll just take a shave. 1.2529 0.05476 87 68 16 3
2705 Separation anxiety 1.2529 0.05476 87 68 16 3
2706 I just want a trim around the bird's nest and a hot towel. 1.2529 0.05226 87 67 18 2
2707 Sorry sir. I am a vet groomer not a pet groomer. 1.2529 0.05715 87 69 14 4
2708 Eider way, I charge the same. 1.2529 0.05226 87 67 18 2
2709 Just the sides, she likes me to keep it bushy up top 1.2529 0.04964 87 66 20 1
2710 I'd like a shave and something for the frizziness. 1.2529 0.05476 87 68 16 3
2711 I really like the feathered hair look. 1.2529 0.04964 87 66 20 1
2712 I heard animals can’t spread it. 1.2529 0.05476 87 68 16 3
2713 On second thought... I'll be back when they hatch. 1.2529 0.05226 87 67 18 2
2714 Can you do something a little less feathery? 1.2529 0.05476 87 66 15 3
2715 I took my guitar off, isn't that enough? 1.2529 0.05226 87 67 18 2
2716 Just give the feathers a trim. 1.2529 0.05226 87 67 18 2
2717 Just the sides and back, but leave the top, its well-nested. 1.2529 0.04687 87 65 22 0
2718 You just need to trim around the edges... 1.2529 0.04687 87 65 22 0
2719 With one snip, we can transform you from a bird-brain to an egg-head. 1.2529 0.05715 87 69 14 4
2720 I miss nature in this big city. A little pruning of the hedge would be great. 1.2529 0.05226 87 67 18 2
2721 You want a dove cut or a dovecote? 1.2529 0.05715 87 69 14 4
2722 'Can you take a little off the top?' 1.2529 0.05476 87 68 16 3
2723 $20 for a trim? Do you take me for a pigeon? 1.2529 0.05226 87 67 18 2
2724 You won't get the bird flu--that's old hat. 1.2529 0.05476 87 68 16 3
2725 Do you color, or just cut? I'm looking to have the colors blend. 1.2529 0.05226 87 67 18 2
2726 Don’t worry; it’s just the avian flu. 1.2529 0.05715 87 69 14 4
2727 Just a little off the sides--don't touch the nest. 1.2529 0.05476 87 68 16 3
2728 Short quack and sides! ...no I could not find a duck for the joke. 1.2529 0.05226 87 67 18 2
2729 Young man, I can think of a dozen reasons why this is a bad idea. 1.2529 0.05715 87 68 14 4
2730 Just the usual, Geno. 1.2529 0.05226 87 67 18 2
2731 Is it possible to get a cut whilst you remain 6ft apart? 1.2529 0.05476 87 68 16 3
2732 Something that says "You already are south for the winter." 1.2529 0.05476 87 68 16 3
2733 I just joined the Bird Nests Club for Men. 1.2529 0.05715 87 69 14 4
2734 a short cut for me and a light feathering for him 1.2529 0.05226 87 67 18 2
2735 I was hoping for a buzzard cut. 1.2529 0.05715 87 69 14 4
2736 It's a living! 1.2529 0.05226 87 67 18 2
2737 That's not what I meant when I said I wanted it feathered. 1.2529 0.05476 87 68 16 3
2738 She’s sitting on a clutch of four, so just a shave. 1.2529 0.05715 87 69 14 4
2739 He just wants a trim around his tail. I'll wait outside. 1.2529 0.04964 87 66 20 1
2740 well, if you know a better solution tell me. 1.2529 0.05226 87 67 18 2
2741 I couldn't decide between coming to you or the butcher. 1.2529 0.05476 87 68 16 3
2742 Take a little squab off the top. 1.2529 0.05226 87 67 18 2
2743 Only trim the sides and back. 1.2529 0.05226 87 67 18 2
2744 Do good and I'll tweet about your shop 1.2529 0.05476 87 68 16 3
2745 Yeah, the last barber I saw was terrible. 1.2529 0.04964 87 66 20 1
2746 That's quite an extension you have up there." 1.2529 0.05226 87 67 18 2
2747 I’d like a DA this time. 1.2529 0.04964 87 66 20 1
2748 My hair is afoul. 1.2529 0.04687 87 65 22 0
2749 Can you trim around the nest? She's an endangered species. 1.2529 0.05226 87 67 18 2
2750 I confused my Tinder profile with my AirBnB listing. 1.2529 0.05226 87 67 18 2
2751 Oh this guy? He'll just be here a few more weeks. It's a short term sublet until the leasing tenant flies back north for the summer. 1.2529 0.04687 87 65 22 0
2752 Just feather it a little on top. 1.2529 0.04964 87 66 20 1
2753 Do you do bird's nests? 1.2529 0.05476 87 68 16 3
2754 Just a preening and take a little off the tail feathers . 1.2529 0.05226 87 67 18 2
2755 A little birdie told me you need a little off the top. 1.2529 0.04964 87 66 20 1
2756 My mother sent me. She wasn't surprised, just annoyed! 1.2529 0.05476 87 68 16 3
2757 That will be $forty-five for you and thirty-five for your friend 1.2529 0.05476 87 68 16 3
2758 Just have a seat, start cutting and I'll tell you if you're doing it right. 1.2529 0.05476 87 68 16 3
2759 Keep the twigs long and nothing off the top 1.2529 0.05476 87 68 16 3
2760 It was in this moment that Larry realized a discount ad for "social distance clipping" WOULD bring in the bird guy around the corner. 1.2529 0.05226 87 67 18 2
2761 Trim around the ears and neck, but don’t touch the “DA”! 1.2529 0.05226 87 67 18 2
2762 I swapped the Mullet for a Mallard 1.2529 0.05715 87 69 14 4
2763 Oh, and she's laid four eggs. 1.2529 0.05476 87 68 16 3
2764 Yes. I'm Ernesto 1.2529 0.05944 87 70 12 5
2765 Most people think BIRBER is a typo 1.2529 0.05226 87 67 18 2
2766 I was thinking maybe a mohawk. 1.2529 0.04964 87 66 20 1
2767 Now I understand why your nickname is egghead. 1.2529 0.04964 87 66 20 1