Contest #700


Cartoon

700

The winning captions

These captions are chosen by The New Yorker.

  1. “Looks like you’re already familiar with the side effects.”
  2. “They didn’t specify which one, but your insurance will only cover half.”
  3. “Use caution when pulling a wagon, a plow, or other machinery while you’re on this medication.”


Name Value
Submission deadline 2020-03-08T22:22:00.000Z
Voting started -
Voting ended 2020-03-22T22:24:00.000Z
Finalists announced 2020-03-16T22:24:00.000Z
Magazine(s) announcing finalists issued March 23, 2020
Number of captions 7263
Number of responses 939103
Number of participants -


Dashboard

In this table, the "mean" means the empirically measured average funniness score when the "unfunny", "somewhat funny" and "funny" receive a funniness score of 1, 2, 3 respectively. "Precison" is the standard error of the mean, the standard deviation of the mean estimate. With that, a caption with an empirical mean μ and precision σ has true mean in the range [μ - 2σ, μ + 2σ] with 95% probability by the 68-95-99.7 rule assuming the responses are indepedent and identically distributed.

<
Rank Caption Mean Precision Total votes "Unfunny" votes "Somewhat funny" votes "Funny" votes
0 Looks like you're already familiar with the side effects. 2.3874 0.00574 14726 1941 5211 7574
1 You're going to need some help with these suppositories. 2.2125 0.00737 11577 2790 3603 5184
2 I take it you already know about the side effects. 2.1976 0.00931 6125 1146 2625 2354
3 They didn’t specify which one, but your insurance will only cover half. 2.1475 0.00774 9323 2138 3745 3440
4 Look, sir, I can tell you to take it with water, but I can't make you drink. 2.1465 0.00725 11559 2882 4150 4527
5 This will make you drowsy, so you’ll need someone to ride you home. 2.1421 0.00758 9951 2323 3934 3694
6 Yes, it says here possible side effects include shortness of breath, cough, and horseness. 2.0987 0.00843 8346 2215 3152 2979
7 I see your insurance policy comes with a rider. 2.0965 0.00775 9977 2649 3771 3557
8 Drink one of these after breakfast and another before you hit the hay. 2.0591 0.00772 9517 2521 3959 3037
9 Thanks for telling us, sir... ATTENTION, CLEAN UP IN AISLE SIX! 2.0121 0.00886 8318 2747 2768 2803
10 The Centaur for Disease Control sent me 2.0113 0.01148 5060 1669 1669 1722
11 It's for a quarter horse, so probably double the dosage. 2.0087 0.01022 5745 1699 2297 1749
12 Sir, Trojan Magnum is the largest size we carry. 1.9949 0.00923 7650 2607 2527 2516
13 When you called and said you were a little hoarse, I guess I didn’t understand 1.9823 0.00877 7569 2350 3048 2171
14 These new antibiotics are incredible. 20 years ago we would have just had to shoot you. 1.9814 0.00982 6346 2053 2387 1906
15 You know, this prescription would be half the price if you got it from your vet. 1.9675 0.00891 7345 2319 2974 2052
16 These may give you the trots. 1.9666 0.01181 4582 1550 1638 1394
17 Use caution when pulling a wagon, plow, or other machinery while you're on this medication. 1.9639 0.00868 7397 2259 3181 1957
18 You're as healthy as a...well, you know. 1.9618 0.00918 6890 2198 2789 1903
19 Any other symptoms? 1.9445 0.01020 5855 1992 2220 1643
20 Sorry Sir. We have nothing in stock for a horse's ass. Try the White House. 1.9354 0.01331 4179 1691 1067 1421
21 Sorry about that. There are two Mr. Eds in our system. 1.9268 0.01012 6012 2132 2213 1667
22 Did you notice any side effects apart from the hair loss? 1.9108 0.01100 4977 1783 1880 1314
23 If this works, you'll be in stable condition. 1.8915 0.00997 5695 2021 2305 1369
24 You thought you’d never see a black pharmacist, really? 1.8853 0.01116 5562 2310 1598 1654
25 What were your wife's other two wishes? 1.8828 0.01037 5964 2337 2009 1618
26 Your wife called and asked us not to refill your Viagra. 1.8756 0.01192 4622 1852 1500 1270
27 Mythological creature is considered a preexisting condition. 1.8185 0.01721 2066 853 735 478
28 Take two of these twice a day with 14 gallons of water. 1.8103 0.01423 2878 1163 1098 617
29 My apologies, sir. You're right, there is nothing funny about hay fever. 1.7875 0.01984 1492 630 549 313
30 You'll feel a difference right out of the gate 1.7855 0.01290 3301 1337 1335 629
31 You'll probably need help with the suppository. 1.7805 0.01155 4406 1951 1510 945
32 Oh sure, NOW you have questions for the pharmacist. 1.7644 0.01878 1715 768 583 364
33 You obviously know the side effects. 1.7291 0.02149 1137 494 457 186
34 Well, sir, it's Viagra and they did promise to make you a stud. 1.7279 0.01200 4076 1924 1353 799
35 You'll probably need help taking these suppositories. 1.7263 0.02482 972 460 318 194
36 But, I'm still bald. 1.7202 0.01278 3527 1699 1143 685
37 Technically it does say "side effects may vary" 1.7137 0.01195 3699 1688 1400 611
38 Well I’ll be darned...yep, look at that, “horse’s ass”, right there, listed as a possible side-effect. 1.7053 0.01909 1598 770 529 299
39 Yea or neigh? 1.7040 0.01364 3051 1493 991 567
40 You're sure hair loss is your biggest concern? 1.7023 0.02010 1357 634 493 230
41 You'll need help. It's a suppository. 1.6922 0.01271 3636 1819 1128 689
42 You’re in luck! What your prescription plan doesn’t cover, your pet insurance does. 1.6893 0.02022 1323 627 480 216
43 Contact your doctor immediately if this medicine gives you the trots. 1.6872 0.01284 3389 1684 1105 600
44 Don’t worry, sir. These are approved by the Centaur for Disease Control. 1.6783 0.01447 2776 1415 847 514
45 You were myth-diagnosed. 1.6705 0.01840 1742 895 526 321
46 That’s why it is so important to complete the full course of treatment. 1.6692 0.01461 2376 1158 863 355
47 Take 2 to win, and 1 to show. 1.6682 0.01709 1980 1024 599 357
48 You're only partially covered. 1.6662 0.01585 2187 1087 743 357
49 "Obviously you're not in the placebo group. 1.6647 0.01722 1885 963 597 325
50 I’m sorry. Your vet is not in network. 1.6631 0.01412 2437 1224 861 352
51 Hmm, well, let me check to see if I have anything for the trots. 1.6425 0.01750 1754 899 584 271
52 You might have trouble with this last one, it’s a suppository 1.6420 0.01851 1718 926 484 308
53 Sorry sir - no pants, no service. 1.6319 0.02148 1190 626 376 188
54 It will help your cough, but not your horseness. 1.6310 0.01869 1485 760 513 212
55 All the neigh sayers find this one very effective... 1.6301 0.02313 984 508 332 144
56 I'm not half the man I used to be 1.6215 0.02118 1189 627 385 177
57 I assure you, ‘horse pill’ is just an expression. 1.6213 0.02794 647 332 228 87
58 Stan, you're a gelding. This Viagra's not going to help. 1.6185 0.02158 1224 671 349 204
59 Yes, I double-checked. Insurance only covers half. 1.6131 0.02148 1132 601 369 162
60 I DID say the side effects might include making you a little horse. 1.6120 0.02238 1116 620 314 182
61 Well, you try and read your doctor's handwriting. 1.6115 0.02320 1045 578 296 171
62 Your MD and your vet need to get on the same page. 1.6093 0.02252 965 498 346 121
63 Yes. Baldness is often a side effect. 1.6083 0.02267 1062 582 316 164
64 Well, this one is recommended by the Centaur for Disease Control. 1.6070 0.03910 374 209 103 62
65 Oral would be easier than suppository. 1.6067 0.02333 1040 584 285 171
66 It's been tested on animals. 1.6049 0.03100 529 280 178 71
67 I need some painkillers, my boss has been riding me all week. 1.6042 0.02285 1008 549 312 147
68 This should put a little giddy up in your step. 1.6038 0.02191 1002 518 363 121
69 This time, make sure you take the full prescription. 1.6030 0.02230 990 518 347 125
70 When you said you were a little horse, I thought you meant... 1.5985 0.02416 929 517 270 142
71 This, Mr Wilson, is what happens when you purchase unapproved drugs from the back pages of a men’s magazine 1.5983 0.02413 926 510 278 138
72 Ok, let's not try the generic this time. 1.5974 0.02398 924 508 281 135
73 You didn’t hear this from me, but you could get this for half the price from your vet. 1.5969 0.02325 918 490 311 117
74 We generally use the phrase "horse pills" metaphorically 1.5967 0.02341 915 488 308 119
75 I would suggest, Mr. Harris, that this month you take the medication as prescribed. 1.5965 0.02382 912 494 292 126
76 We didn't get any alerts about side effects; what are you noticing? 1.5963 0.02373 909 490 296 123
77 When I read about the potential side effect of horseness, I assumed it was a typo. 1.5956 0.02438 900 496 272 132
78 Consider yourself lucky you didn't break a leg. 1.5913 0.02475 849 465 266 118
79 Anything for hay fever? 1.5905 0.02490 845 465 261 119
80 What side effects? 1.5884 0.02558 826 466 236 124
81 ...and this one is for the trots. 1.5881 0.02628 823 473 216 134
82 And what are your pronouns? 1.5878 0.02663 803 465 206 132
83 I'm sorry, sir. Unfortunately, there's no cure for being a horse's ass. 1.5869 0.02619 811 466 216 129
84 No, I said, "Once the coughing stops, you could still be a little hoarse." 1.5862 0.02845 609 328 205 76
85 If it lasts more than four hours, you’ll need to call you veterinarian. 1.5845 0.02547 787 432 250 105
86 I'll warn you, this may give you the trots. 1.5844 0.02507 782 422 263 97
87 Now, I must tell you - one of the side-effects is you might become a complete ass. 1.5839 0.02562 781 430 246 105
88 Sounds like you’re a little hoarse. 1.5838 0.02622 776 447 211 118
89 Have you recently traveled outside the country or back in time? 1.5820 0.03228 512 288 150 74
90 Your insurance doesn't cover mythological conditions. 1.5811 0.02618 752 417 233 102
91 Of course, of course. 1.5803 0.02736 710 400 208 102
92 Let me guess, you came from the Centaur of Disease Control. 1.5801 0.02636 743 444 184 115
93 An Ancestry DNA testing kit,please. 1.5799 0.02738 745 430 198 117
94 Every twelve hours, with a sugar cube. 1.5783 0.02592 728 396 243 89
95 You're right, it should have been quinine, not equine. 1.5770 0.02655 721 406 219 96
96 Yeah, I get it. I’m actually half Irish. 1.5768 0.02695 716 406 209 101
97 This should help your cough, but you may have some persistent hoarseness... 1.5747 0.02767 703 402 198 103
98 This should clear up your cough, but it probably won't help with your horseness. 1.5743 0.02694 700 393 214 93
99 Yes, it's been like this longer than 4 hours. 1.5743 0.02679 700 388 222 90
100 No Sir. I do not mock you. The prescription is indeed for ‘Galloping Pneumonia’. 1.5731 0.02797 691 397 192 102
101 You can't expect them to list every possible side-effect. 1.5697 0.02811 660 377 191 92
102 It depends. Is this a horse-to-man or man-to-horse transition? 1.5693 0.02772 657 368 204 85
103 Sir, I swear I would remember if I’ve seen you here before. 1.5683 0.02806 644 364 195 85
104 Unwanted side effects? My memory has improved, my hair is growing back, and a lady just called me a stallion !! 1.5628 0.02878 613 348 185 80
105 Right out of the gate, you'll feel the effects. 1.5623 0.02852 610 343 191 76
106 Is there anything you would like to discuss with the pharmacist? Yea or neigh? 1.5621 0.02910 612 353 175 84
107 These might give you the trots. 1.5616 0.02994 609 358 160 91
108 You’re lucky being mythical is so treatable nowadays. 1.5611 0.02885 606 344 184 78
109 Any unusual side effects so far? 1.5609 0.02788 599 331 201 67
110 Oh, you'll know if it's working on not. Everyone will know if it's working or not. 1.5609 0.03005 599 351 160 88
111 Yes, hoarseness can be a side effect. 1.5604 0.02922 596 340 178 78
112 Side effects may include dizziness, nausea, and cantering. 1.5573 0.02949 576 328 175 73
113 ...and if this doesn't work,we'll have to shoot you. 1.5567 0.03068 573 340 148 85
114 If it's any comfort, it's a rare side effect. 1.5550 0.02987 564 331 159 74
115 Your prescription expired in 600 BC. 1.5515 0.03158 544 324 140 80
116 This should keep you from feeling off centaur. 1.5513 0.03149 546 325 141 80
117 Sir, “horse pill” is just an expression. 1.5504 0.03049 536 308 161 67
118 4 to 1 odds you’ll feel better by the weekend 1.5500 0.02975 540 309 167 64
119 True, in Canada you would be covered. 1.5481 0.03079 520 303 151 66
120 Whatever you're taking,stop. 1.5474 0.03000 517 292 168 57
121 This should help with the trots. 1.5468 0.03072 523 301 158 64
122 I think you can get these a lot cheaper if you go to your vet. 1.5468 0.03096 523 303 154 66
123 I'm sorry but the only cure for horse's ass is to vote it out. 1.5465 0.03280 516 313 124 79
124 It's for my daughter. She's a little horse. 1.5465 0.03127 516 300 150 66
125 No, you misunderstood me. I am the centaur for disease control. 1.5465 0.03257 516 315 122 79
126 This will make you pee like a racehorse 1.5455 0.03111 517 300 152 65
127 This should help with the jockey itch. 1.5455 0.03174 506 296 144 66
128 Well, you seem to be in stable condition so I’ll refill. 1.5438 0.03144 502 291 149 62
129 They put these drug interaction warnings on here for a reason. 1.5435 0.02997 506 283 171 52
130 I can't make you do it, but take these with water. 1.5435 0.03187 506 298 141 67
131 Be careful not to pull wagons or heavy machinery while taking this. 1.5431 0.03196 499 293 141 65
132 I know it's a lot out of pocket here, sir, but at the vet they'll just shoot you. 1.5419 0.03322 489 295 123 71
133 Side effects say you could become a little horse - so that wasn't misspelled 1.5416 0.03277 493 295 129 69
134 I see that you're already aware of the potential side effects. 1.5410 0.03071 488 278 157 53
135 ...are you sure you took it as directed? 1.5410 0.03212 488 286 140 62
136 Do you have anything to make me less of an ass? 1.5402 0.02994 485 308 114 63
137 You took them on an empty stomach, didn't you? 1.5386 0.03218 479 280 140 59
138 No, that isn't a typo. The side effect is "Horseness," not hoarseness. 1.5378 0.03287 476 283 130 63
139 Any prescriptions for a horses ass 1.5372 0.02689 471 309 111 51
140 I don't know what's more mythical - you, or the fact that this drug is covered by insurance. 1.5372 0.03189 471 272 145 54
141 I'm here to complain about an unlisted side effect. 1.5356 0.03201 463 267 144 52
142 You want something to make you less horse? 1.5356 0.03082 463 259 160 44
143 Effective for the treatment of hay fever. Side effects may include the trots. 1.5353 0.03308 467 278 128 61
144 Insurance will only cover half. 1.5339 0.03462 457 281 108 68
145 I can fill it, but I can’t make you take it. 1.5339 0.03232 457 265 140 52
146 Yes they're expensive, but it's better than being shot. 1.5336 0.03284 461 272 132 57
147 Why the short face? 1.5329 0.03518 426 258 109 59
148 No sir. I have never heard of the Centaurs for Disease Control. 1.5320 0.03328 453 271 124 58
149 We are only obligated to warn you about side effects.I would describe what you are experiencing as more of a rear effect. 1.5314 0.03337 446 264 127 55
150 Sorry, but your wife called and begged me not to refill your Viagra prescription. 1.5294 0.03495 442 272 106 64
151 If it lasts longer than four hours be sure to contact your vet. 1.5267 0.03346 431 254 127 50
152 Jockey itch? I thought you said jock itch. 1.5267 0.03264 431 249 137 45
153 The last ones you gave me made me a little horse... 1.5249 0.03438 421 252 117 52
154 There are side effects with this one, too. 1.5240 0.03298 416 240 134 42
155 Centauronavirus. 1.5230 0.03454 413 247 116 50
156 Stop taking this if it gives you the trots. 1.5218 0.03545 412 252 105 55
157 This won’t help. Try the Centaur for Disease Control. 1.5218 0.03578 412 254 101 57
158 It says if you become a Centaur for more than four hours you should discontinue use and seek immediate medical attention. 1.5209 0.03527 407 247 108 52
159 Why yes, loss of hair is one of those unusual side effects. 1.5209 0.03475 407 247 110 50
160 It's not for me. It's for my better half. 1.5200 0.03521 400 241 110 49
161 This'll help your tail but I think your mane is too far gone. 1.5197 0.03357 406 237 127 42
162 Sorry, no pants, no shoes, no service! 1.5178 0.03561 394 239 106 49
163 It says right here on the bottle that one of the side effects might be making you a little horse. 1.5177 0.03324 396 228 131 37
164 I’m sorry, your insurance company says neigh. 1.5167 0.03614 389 238 101 50
165 None of my business, but if I were your wife I wouldn't want you anywhere near the little blue pills. 1.5167 0.03775 389 247 83 59
166 I’m afraid your insurance coverage is also mythical. 1.5166 0.03545 391 236 108 47
167 Sir, the label clearly states "Do not take with Oats" 1.5166 0.03355 391 226 128 37
168 Do you want to go with the vet's recommendation or the doctor's? 1.5166 0.02657 391 238 128 25
169 Finally, somebody asks for the Magnums who actually needs them. 1.5165 0.03622 393 242 99 52
170 Well, you can walk again now, can't you? 1.5155 0.03426 386 226 121 39
171 Which stomach is upset? 1.5155 0.03503 386 230 113 43
172 I'm sorry, but your veterinarian is in-network, but your primary care doctor isn't. Your insurance will only pay for half. 1.5155 0.03413 388 231 116 41
173 It's a good thing you have insurance, otherwise they would have put you down. 1.5155 0.03471 388 230 116 42
174 You may need help with these suppositories 1.5144 0.03596 381 231 104 46
175 I thought you said you were becoming hoarse" 1.5144 0.03418 381 222 122 37
176 Take two before you hit the hay tonight. 1.5144 0.03576 381 230 106 45
177 This won't help with baldness,but it will make your coat more glossy. 1.5144 0.03478 381 225 116 40
178 Oh good, it looks like I don't need to tell you about the side effects. 1.5144 0.03458 381 224 118 39
179 And are you noticing any other side effects? 1.5144 0.03498 381 226 114 41
180 Centrum? Oh, no no. You’ve been taking Centaur. 1.5144 0.03367 381 227 115 39
181 Trojans? 1.5121 0.03634 373 227 101 45
182 There it is: "Uncommon side effects may include headache, post-nasal drip, and becoming a little horse." 1.5120 0.03697 375 232 94 49
183 Okay, but after your question, I have a question. 1.5119 0.03546 377 226 109 42
184 I've got this nagging feeling ,I just can't shake. 1.5119 0.03526 377 225 111 41
185 Ah. Let me see Mr......Ed. Of course, of course. 1.5119 0.03462 379 229 109 41
186 When you called I thought you said “hoarse.” 1.5096 0.03505 365 215 114 36
187 There are no side effects, but the rear effects can be formidable. 1.5096 0.03714 365 225 94 46
188 Whoa! 1.5095 0.03544 367 226 99 42
189 WHICH left foot? 1.5095 0.03596 367 221 105 41
190 Call your doctor if you notice changes in your gait. 1.5095 0.03491 367 216 115 36
191 Do you mean 'nay' as in 'no' or as in 'neigh'? 1.5070 0.03562 357 212 109 36
192 The packet promised a full lustrous mane. 1.5070 0.03797 357 223 87 47
193 They probably all look like horse pills to you. 1.5070 0.03649 357 216 101 40
194 Sorry, due to my religious beliefs, I cannot be forced to serve Greek mythical beings. 1.5070 0.03760 359 223 90 46
195 Refills are still a 45-minute wait, even for a stable genius. 1.5070 0.03719 359 221 94 44
196 Excuse me - do you have anything for male pattern baldness..? 1.5070 0.03802 359 225 86 48
197 Which way are your transitioning? 1.5070 0.03634 359 217 102 40
198 Take these with 27 gallons of water 1.5069 0.03598 361 217 105 39
199 Well sir, this is exactly why we insist that you finish your prescriptions. 1.5057 0.03833 350 219 85 46
200 What makes you think you're not in the control group? 1.5043 0.03739 351 216 93 42
201 Are you experiencing any side effects? 1.5043 0.03673 351 213 99 39
202 Is your name really Charlie Horse? 1.5042 0.03643 355 215 101 39
203 The doctor says I should shoot you. 1.5029 0.03790 342 211 90 41
204 I said they were horse pills as a joke, I didn't mean to offend. 1.5029 0.03551 346 207 106 33
205 No, um sir. That would be the Farmacy. 1.5029 0.03256 348 219 96 33
206 Sorry to saddle you with the expense, but your insurance only covers half. 1.5029 0.03651 348 210 101 37
207 But is your wife happy with the results? 1.5015 0.03706 341 207 97 37
208 I think the Doctor misunderstood you when you said you were a little horse. 1.5014 0.03720 345 211 95 39
209 To be fair, it’s hard to adequately explain the side effect on a 20 second commercial. 1.4985 0.03644 343 207 101 35
210 Can this be taken orally? Otherwise I’m gonna need some assistance. 1.4985 0.03843 333 209 83 41
211 Your insurance plan will only cover the cost of putting you down. 1.4985 0.03819 333 208 85 40
212 You’ll need some help. It’s a suppository. 1.4970 0.03780 332 204 91 37
213 Oh yes, this will stop The Trots. 1.4970 0.03892 330 207 82 41
214 And another thing, maintenance is hoping you'll use the Drive-By window for future transactions. 1.4970 0.03639 328 195 103 30
215 If you win, there's no copay. 1.4969 0.03748 324 196 95 33
216 Mane loss is completely normal for Centaurs your age 1.4954 0.03829 329 204 87 38
217 I'd say you are more than a little hoarse. 1.4954 0.03840 325 201 87 37
218 I think there was a mix up with my last prescription. 1.4954 0.03832 323 199 88 36
219 Let me get this straight: you WANT night mares? 1.4954 0.03731 323 195 96 32
220 Sorry. No, you can't use the bathroom. 1.4954 0.03882 323 201 84 38
221 I'm sorry,was that a "yea" or a "neigh" on the plastic bag? 1.4938 0.07881 81 51 20 10
222 Most of our customers are able to insert them without assistance, but you’ll probably need help. 1.4937 0.03884 320 199 84 37
223 No, "horse's ass" is not a known side effect. 1.4937 0.03984 320 203 76 41
224 This should put you back in the saddle. 1.4921 0.03860 317 196 86 35
225 I can't make you, but drink lots of water. 1.4921 0.03987 317 201 76 40
226 Be sure you’ve grazed first. 1.4921 0.03701 317 190 98 29
227 I’m afraid your veterinarian has the other half of your prescription“ 1.4921 0.04037 317 203 72 42
228 Yes, they're horse pills, but you'll be on a 1/2 dose. 1.4921 0.03885 317 197 84 36
229 Sure it'll control your mood swings, but you'll always be an ass. 1.4921 0.03981 315 199 77 39
230 Yes. That’s why they call it Preparation H. 1.4921 0.03981 315 199 77 39
231 Looks like your wife got her birthday wish. 1.4905 0.04021 316 202 73 41
232 Your insurance only covers half. 1.4904 0.03852 312 192 87 33
233 Mythical conditions aren't covered. 1.4904 0.03852 312 192 87 33
234 Sir,I understand that those pills were big enough to choke a horse,but you should have spoken to your doctor before cutting them in half. 1.4904 0.03905 312 194 83 35
235 You’ll forgive me for asking, but was this prescribed by your doctor or your vet? 1.4903 0.03870 310 195 80 35
236 Sorry, but I'm not a farmacist. 1.4885 0.03903 305 194 76 35
237 So you are looking for something to give you more giddy-up? 1.4878 0.08544 82 56 12 14
238 Oh no, I'm just here for my flu shot. 1.4868 0.04008 304 192 76 36
239 This is the first case of Centaurvirus in this hemisphere. 1.4849 0.04002 299 188 77 34
240 For an erection lasting longer than four hours, call your...umm...veterinarian. 1.4849 0.03974 299 187 79 33
241 You'll find what you're looking for in the centaur aisle." 1.4848 0.04022 297 187 76 34
242 No, I wasn't aware of any strange side effects. Can you be more specific? 1.4848 0.03789 297 192 73 32
243 I proud that you took the step Frank. I know you've identified as a horse's ass for years. 1.4848 0.04215 297 194 62 41
244 The most common side effect is a case of the trots. 1.4848 0.03965 297 185 80 32
245 Try these, and if your leg doesn't get any better, come back, and I'll shoot you. 1.4835 0.04251 273 174 66 33
246 I can't make you, but take these with water. 1.4830 0.03785 294 177 92 25
247 Don't worry, sir, I'm only half-pharmacist. 1.4830 0.03846 294 179 88 27
248 Yes, but prescription from my Vet is only $20. 1.4829 0.03895 292 181 82 29
249 You’re going to feel the need to see a man about a horse. 1.4829 0.03985 292 182 79 31
250 Which one is the side-effect? 1.4808 0.04005 287 179 78 30
251 First name "Charlie" ? 1.4808 0.03974 287 178 80 29
252 I don't know about your appetite, but it should end the hay fever. 1.4808 0.03230 287 185 82 20
253 Let me guess. Bad case of hay fever? 1.4808 0.04035 287 180 76 31
254 This should help with your get up and go. 1.4808 0.03943 287 177 82 28
255 If you’re going near 5th and Maple, could I catch a ride? 1.4789 0.04066 284 179 74 31
256 It says here that if this doesn't work, we may have to shoot you. 1.4789 0.04187 284 183 66 35
257 Well the label DOES warn of side effects. 1.4787 0.03962 282 174 81 27
258 Have you something for the heartbreak of satyriasis? 1.4787 0.04179 282 181 67 34
259 I’m sorry sir, there’s no cure for balding guys with ponytails 1.4787 0.04298 282 185 59 38
260 This works great for restless legs ... 1.4787 0.03962 282 174 81 27
261 Sir, it clearly states a common side effect is hoarseness 1.4770 0.04045 283 182 69 32
262 At this point, I would say that additional side effects are the least of your worries. 1.4769 0.03971 281 174 80 27
263 This will complete the transition. 1.4769 0.04003 281 175 78 28
264 Don't worry, those side effects won't last furlong. 1.4769 0.04220 281 182 64 35
265 No gelatin in the capsules, Sir, why do you ask? 1.4765 0.04235 277 179 64 34
266 Sorry sir, but you’ve tried all of our treatments. At this point you may as well just accept it. You have male pattern baldness. 1.4765 0.04204 277 178 66 33
267 I'm sorry, sir. No one thinks the "rare" side effect will happen to them. 1.4748 0.04034 278 174 76 28
268 Half of it’s covered. 1.4746 0.03906 276 171 80 25
269 I think you're looking for the farmacist... 1.4746 0.03990 276 171 79 26
270 I understand that it's different for you, but I still can't let you use the bathroom. 1.4746 0.03957 276 170 81 25
271 Honestly, they've just been riding me pretty hard at work. 1.4746 0.03889 276 168 85 23
272 Yes, "horse's ass" was listed as a side effect." 1.4745 0.04300 274 179 60 35
273 It may cause constipation which is probably good considering the dump you just took in aisle three. 1.4725 0.04374 273 181 55 37
274 Do you have any questions for our mythologist? 1.4725 0.04120 273 173 71 29
275 Watch the dosage,there's enough in here to kill a horse. 1.4725 0.04054 273 171 75 27
276 Normally we'd prescribe antihistamines, but in your case I'd say hay fever isn't anything to worry about. 1.4725 0.03919 273 167 83 23
277 Tell me honestly. Does this medicine make my ass look big? 1.4725 0.04435 273 183 51 39
278 Jockey shorts are in aisle 9. 1.4725 0.04249 273 177 63 33
279 Finish the bottle, even if you start to feel better at the tail end. 1.4725 0.04153 273 174 69 30
280 The pills will still work, but you’re going to have to call a vet if you have an erection lasting 4 hours. 1.4725 0.03987 273 169 79 25
281 I'm a little surprised you even get hay fever. 1.4725 0.04087 273 172 73 28
282 Take one every quarter mile. 1.4723 0.04272 271 176 62 33
283 This is 'The Health Centre' you're looking for 'Centaur Health'. That's on the 2nd floor. 1.4723 0.04076 271 170 74 27
284 I hear it coming straight from your mouth, sir, but you'll still need a prescription. 1.4723 0.04042 271 169 76 26
285 In hindsight, half the dosage makes sense. 1.4723 0.04042 271 169 76 26
286 Apart from that, have your symptoms improved? 1.4721 0.04165 269 171 69 29
287 Another way to reduce back pain is to not let people ride you. 1.4721 0.03889 269 163 85 21
288 You can take this with oats or hay, but no apples. 1.4721 0.04098 269 169 73 27
289 Stomp your foot twice if you understand the side effects. 1.4721 0.04029 269 167 77 25
290 Could you just verify your stable for me? 1.4721 0.03995 269 166 79 24
291 Yes, I think that could be considered a side effect. 1.4721 0.04064 269 168 75 26
292 Look pal, Kentucky Derby winner or not, it’s still a $20 copay. 1.4721 0.04296 269 175 61 33
293 And discontinue immediately if you experience problems with your gait. 1.4701 0.03970 268 167 77 24
294 Even if the gods were involved, I'm afraid it wouldn't eliminate your co-pay. 1.4699 0.04165 266 169 69 28
295 Fortunately it was tested on animals. 1.4697 0.04153 264 167 70 27
296 Any pre-existing condition I need to know about? 1.4697 0.04083 264 165 74 25
297 That's exactly why we advise against cutting the pills in half. 1.4697 0.04153 264 167 70 27
298 You need a rider to have it covered. 1.4674 0.03914 261 166 71 24
299 Yes, you can take these with oats. 1.4674 0.04116 261 164 72 25
300 So, you're a little hoarse today; I have just the thing. 1.4674 0.04080 261 163 74 24
301 You should be feeling your oats in no time. 1.4672 0.04066 259 161 75 23
302 Those side effects are just a myth. 1.4672 0.04211 259 165 67 27
303 If this doesn't work, we're going to have you shot. 1.4672 0.04452 259 172 53 34
304 Well, did you follow the directions? 1.4672 0.04157 259 170 60 29
305 I can only fill half your prescription. 1.4651 0.04002 258 159 78 21
306 You take this with three apples. 1.4651 0.04222 258 165 66 27
307 It's good for the trots. 1.4651 0.04328 258 168 60 30
308 Wow! A black pharmacist! I have never seen one before. 1.4651 0.04293 258 167 62 29
309 If these don’t work, come back and we’ll put you down. 1.4651 0.04039 258 160 76 22
310 Take this with feed...I mean, food. 1.4648 0.04136 256 161 71 24
311 Have you taken this medication before? Stomp once for yes, twice for no. 1.4648 0.04353 256 167 59 30
312 I'm sorry, but I'll need proof it was not a pre-existing condition. 1.4648 0.04282 256 165 63 28
313 I understand sir, but I still need to see some form of identification" 1.4648 0.03727 256 171 62 23
314 The good news, my headaches have finally stopped. 1.4646 0.04234 254 162 66 26
315 Have you noticed any side effects? 1.4646 0.04159 254 160 70 24
316 I used to be Republican. 1.4646 0.04343 254 165 60 29
317 And - again - our apologies for what was said at the drive thru window 1.4646 0.04234 254 162 66 26
318 Side effects aside, your cough is gone, right? 1.4618 0.04218 249 158 67 24
319 Insurance only covers your top half. 1.4618 0.04295 249 160 63 26
320 Yes sir, you're "a little hoarse"...it wasn't funny last time either. 1.4618 0.04369 249 162 59 28
321 The prescriptions clearly states that you must finish the entire course, of course, of course. 1.4618 0.04443 249 164 55 30
322 I'm here to pick up a prescription for my better half. 1.4618 0.04022 249 153 77 19
323 Do you have something for horse's ass. 1.4618 0.04515 249 166 51 32
324 This should alleviate your hoarseness. 1.4618 0.04332 249 161 61 27
325 Yes, that is an unusual reaction. 1.4618 0.03794 249 159 72 18
326 I assume you’re aware of the side effects? 1.4618 0.04102 249 155 73 21
327 This experimental drug requires you to participate in a Gallup poll. 1.4615 0.04579 247 166 48 33
328 It says here you're a 'centenarian.' Damn auto correct." 1.4615 0.04395 247 161 58 28
329 I'll need a prescription from your veterinarian also. 1.4615 0.04204 247 156 68 23
330 I can't make you, but you should take this with water. 1.4615 0.04085 247 153 74 20
331 You may experience minor side effects such as hay fever and night mares. 1.4615 0.04204 247 156 68 23
332 Hey, why the short face? 1.4593 0.04519 246 164 51 31
333 Maybe the pills instead of the suppositories... 1.4593 0.04215 246 156 67 23
334 I have a question about those horse pills my doctor prescribed. 1.4593 0.04370 246 160 59 27
335 You didn't read the fine print did you? 1.4590 0.04036 244 156 69 19
336 By "Nay," do you mean "No, you don't need assistance from the pharmacist?" 1.4590 0.04160 244 153 70 21
337 Yes, hair loss IS one of the side effects 1.4590 0.04200 244 154 68 22
338 Side effects might include hoof-and-mouth disease, saddle soreness, and a sudden impulse to charge around an elliptical area at top speed. 1.4590 0.04200 244 154 68 22
339 Why the long face? 1.4587 0.04613 242 163 47 32
340 You're more than a little hoarse. 1.4587 0.04345 242 156 61 25
341 I don't have anything for that, you'll just have to ride this one out 1.4587 0.04143 242 151 71 20
342 Have you experienced any side effects? 1.4587 0.04423 242 158 57 27
343 I'm picking this up for my other half. 1.4587 0.04423 242 158 57 27
344 Yes, some patients do become a little horse after taking this drug 1.4587 0.04384 242 157 59 26
345 Seems like your physician and your vet don't agree on the treatment. 1.4587 0.04225 242 153 67 22
346 Sorry, I’ll have to order those condoms for you. 1.4587 0.04500 242 160 53 29
347 As I recall, you insisted on the generic. 1.4587 0.04345 242 156 61 25
348 Hay fever? 1.4587 0.04461 242 159 55 28
349 Side effects may include racing thoughts. 1.4561 0.04302 239 153 63 23
350 I doubled your dose for restless leg syndrome, just to be on the safe side. 1.4561 0.04423 239 156 57 26
351 Let’s look for something with fewer side effects. 1.4561 0.04136 239 151 68 20
352 Yes, I’d call that side effect rare. 1.4561 0.04093 239 148 73 18
353 Consult a veterinarian if it lasts longer than four hours. 1.4557 0.04530 237 157 52 28
354 This will definitely work for your charley horse. 1.4557 0.04491 237 156 54 27
355 I think your doctor may have misunderstood when you told her that you were "a little hoarse." 1.4557 0.04245 237 150 66 21
356 Mr. Centaur, your prescription is Greek to me. 1.4557 0.04410 237 154 58 25
357 No dear, you want the farmacy. 1.4557 0.04203 237 149 68 20
358 I did explain that there are side effects, sir. 1.4557 0.04287 237 151 64 22
359 It is a known side effect. Here, on the list after 'erection that lasts more than 4 hours.' 1.4557 0.04328 237 152 62 23
360 Let's just lower the dosage. 1.4557 0.04073 237 155 61 21
361 Are you SURE you want the suppository form of this medication? 1.4557 0.04569 237 158 50 29
362 This drug's been approved by the Centaurs for Disease Control 1.4557 0.04410 237 154 58 25
363 This is a new medication. Stomp twice if you understood my instructions. 1.4530 0.04409 234 154 55 25
364 This is the best we have for those transitioning. 1.4530 0.04367 234 151 60 23
365 The drug has a diuretic effect, so it's gonna have you pissing like— um, more frequently. The dose is pretty big, these are real hor— uh, the pills are large. So take them with a full glass of water, which, not to beat a dead h— I'm fucken sorry, man 1.4530 0.04612 234 157 48 29
366 This should also keep away the flies. 1.4526 0.04221 232 148 64 20
367 Sorry. There's no cure for being a horse's ass. 1.4526 0.04561 232 154 51 27
368 If you have an erection lasting longer than 28 days contact your veterinarian. 1.4526 0.04436 232 151 57 24
369 Take two every morning with a cube of sugar. 1.4526 0.04308 232 148 63 21
370 Side effects? Well, I am finding it harder to wipe my ass. 1.4526 0.04602 232 155 49 28
371 Again, please, what size condom? 1.4526 0.04682 232 157 45 30
372 What kind of side effects are you experiencing? 1.4526 0.04436 232 151 57 24
373 Sorry, we can’t give you any liniment. There’s a rider on your plan. 1.4521 0.08053 73 48 17 8
374 Picking up for your better half? 1.4511 0.04268 235 150 64 21
375 Sorry, this prescription is for a horse of a different color. 1.4511 0.04436 235 154 56 25
376 No, it's the same medicine, but the bottle for your lower half is $25 and the the bottle for your upper half is $350 1.4511 0.04597 235 158 48 29
377 On the plus side, you didn't experience any nausea or dizziness. 1.4502 0.04615 231 155 48 28
378 Well, it does list horseness as one of the possible side effects. 1.4502 0.04449 231 151 56 24
379 I have the eyedrops, but you'll have to go elsewhere for the suppository. 1.4502 0.04143 231 144 70 17
380 Your doctor is prescribing antibiotics for your leg. Your veterinarian wants to shoot you in the head. 1.4502 0.04449 231 151 56 24
381 That's quite a story sir, but I still need to see some ID. 1.4498 0.04434 229 149 57 23
382 Good thing you were only on a half dose. 1.4498 0.04167 229 143 69 17
383 I still need to see your Driver's License 1.4493 0.04330 227 145 62 20
384 And what are your symptoms exactly? 1.4493 0.04506 227 149 54 24
385 No, hoarseness. With an 'A'. 1.4493 0.04463 227 148 56 23
386 Hay fever you said? 1.4489 0.04447 225 146 57 22
387 Nope. Baldness is not a side effect. 1.4489 0.04218 225 141 67 17
388 Sir, the Farmacy is around the corner 1.4489 0.04447 225 146 57 22
389 Would you prefer the hay or apple flavored drops? 1.4489 0.04491 225 147 55 23
390 Apply twice daily for jockey itch 1.4489 0.04402 225 145 59 21
391 I can’t give you a refund sir; the warning label clearly states “this medication could make you a little horse”. 1.4489 0.04447 225 146 57 22
392 These may make you jumpy. 1.4489 0.04447 225 148 54 23
393 I’m suffering from the trots. 1.4489 0.04749 225 153 43 29
394 This will get you right back in the saddle again. 1.4489 0.04265 225 142 65 18
395 I have no idea how long your colonoscopy will take. 1.4469 0.04519 226 149 53 24
396 This is why we recommend reading the side effects carefully. 1.4469 0.04250 226 143 65 18
397 Looks like you're already aware of the side effects. 1.4469 0.04387 226 146 59 21
398 They're SUPPOSED to make you a stallion in bed. 1.4469 0.04476 226 148 55 23
399 I was just fine until I took the first pill. Then my hair started falling out. 1.4459 0.08196 74 50 15 9
400 Well...obviously, sometimes the generic isn't QUITE the same as the brand name... 1.4455 0.04698 220 148 46 26
401 Yes, you can take it with hay. 1.4455 0.04330 220 140 62 18
402 Read the sign sir: “No pants, no shoes, no service.” 1.4455 0.04518 220 144 54 22
403 You’re lucky it wasn’t a broken leg. 1.4455 0.04564 220 145 52 23
404 Would you like that in a capsule or the neeeiigh-sal spray? 1.4455 0.04742 220 149 44 27
405 Can I trust you to read the warnings and side effects closely this time? 1.4455 0.04564 220 145 52 23
406 This product will restore your hair, but don't expect a full mane. 1.4455 0.04330 220 140 62 18
407 Do you have any hand sanitizer? 1.4455 0.04698 220 148 46 26
408 It'll cure your cough but you'll need something stronger for that whinny. 1.4455 0.04378 220 141 60 19
409 Do not attempt dressage while taking this medication. 1.4455 0.04378 220 141 60 19
410 Well now, I see you’re experiencing some horseness with this medication. 1.4455 0.04233 220 138 66 16
411 I’m kind of at a loss. My doc says try this. My vet says try that. What do you think? 1.4455 0.04698 220 148 46 26
412 And remember, if it lasts for longer than four hours, call your Vet immediately. 1.4455 0.04472 220 143 56 21
413 Actually, sir, for that problem, I think you'd be better off seeing a blacksmith. 1.4455 0.04518 220 144 54 22
414 The doctor said I would feel a little horse, but this is not what I was expecting. 1.4434 0.04315 221 141 62 18
415 What’s your largest size condom? 1.4434 0.04592 221 147 50 24
416 I'm sorry, that was insensitive. Yes, the pills are large. 1.4434 0.04681 221 149 46 26
417 But Sir, the side effects were clearly written on the medicine bottle. 1.4434 0.04456 221 144 56 21
418 This medication promises to make you a stud. Perhaps you should have asked your doctor a few more questions. 1.4434 0.04502 221 145 54 22
419 Well, the bad news is that it's a suppository. 1.4424 0.04515 217 142 54 21
420 Don't take this if you plan on pulling any heavy machinery. 1.4424 0.04370 217 139 60 18
421 You only took half the recommended dosage. 1.4424 0.04562 217 143 52 22
422 When you said horse pills, I thought you meant they were big. 1.4424 0.04608 217 144 50 23
423 It says right here: "Any side effects lasting more than three hours should be reported to your doctor." 1.4424 0.04562 217 143 52 22
424 ... but the most important thing is not to touch your face with your hoofs. 1.4423 0.04655 208 137 50 21
425 The doctor called in your prescription but I’m still waiting to hear from your vet. 1.4419 0.04299 215 136 63 16
426 Who wrote you this half-assed prescription? 1.4419 0.04639 215 143 49 23
427 I am sorry sir. I don't show any effective remedies for a horse's ass. 1.4419 0.04686 215 144 47 24
428 The other half of the prescription is available for pickup at your veterinarian’s office. 1.4419 0.04496 215 140 55 20
429 Now Mr. Ed, is that your first name or your last name? 1.4413 0.04326 213 135 62 16
430 No, baldness is not listed as a side effect. 1.4413 0.04326 213 135 62 16
431 This will clear up your cough, but you still may be a little horse. 1.4413 0.04671 213 142 48 23
432 Just so you know, these are going to make you piss like a racehorse. 1.4413 0.04575 213 140 52 21
433 Well, good luck. These are suppositories. 1.4413 0.04223 213 133 66 14
434 I'm sorry, your insurance only covers half 1.4413 0.04427 213 137 58 18
435 Don't let it define you, Eddie. I don't think of you as a horse's ass. 1.4413 0.04671 213 142 48 23
436 You say you're generally healthy as a horse? 1.4413 0.04526 213 139 54 20
437 Because one of the side effects of this drug is diarrhea I suggest you take it with plenty of water, and in an open field. 1.4413 0.04526 213 139 54 20
438 It says "apply to feet twice a day", so I guess we just double that? 1.4387 0.04339 212 135 61 16
439 This prescription was just written 15 minutes ago. Boy, you got here fast! 1.4387 0.04589 212 140 51 21
440 Take it with three sugar cubes and some hay twice a day, and don’t let anyone mount you for a week 1.4387 0.04390 212 136 59 17
441 Take with an apple. 1.4386 0.05849 114 72 34 8
442 Did you READ the label? It IS listed as a 'Possible Side Effect.' 1.4381 0.04367 210 134 60 16
443 It’s half way through the human trial phase, so you should be fine. 1.4381 0.04470 210 136 56 18
444 And if you are planning on running in the Derby, you should know this is a banned substance. 1.4381 0.04470 210 136 56 18
445 ...to be honest, I don't think a receding hairline is your biggest problem 1.4381 0.04571 210 138 52 20
446 I'm sorry, but we don't stock condoms of that size. 1.4381 0.04620 210 139 50 21
447 What do you recommend for hay fever? 1.4381 0.04153 210 130 68 12
448 Take each pill with four gallons of water and a bale of hay. 1.4381 0.04314 210 133 62 15
449 Of course they're the size of horse pills. They are horse pills. 1.4375 0.04551 208 136 53 19
450 Charlie Horse? 1.4375 0.04602 208 137 51 20
451 I see you know about the biggest side effect . . . 1.4375 0.04234 208 130 65 13
452 The term 'horse pill' just refers to the size of the tablet. 1.4375 0.04702 208 139 47 22
453 This should make you feel stable. 1.4335 0.04522 203 132 54 17
454 See, this is why you don't mix medicines. 1.4335 0.04576 203 133 52 18
455 It says right here: 'side effects may include horseness.' 1.4328 0.04714 201 134 47 20
456 Medicare is only paying fifty percent. 1.4328 0.04443 201 129 57 15
457 I am sorry sir, but hoarseness is clearly listed as a possible side effect. 1.4328 0.04608 201 132 51 18
458 Hay fever? Seriously? 1.4328 0.04661 201 133 49 19
459 No shoes no service. 1.4328 0.04661 201 133 49 19
460 There's been a slight adjustment to your hormone prescription. 1.4328 0.04498 201 130 55 16
461 The other half of your prescription can be picked up at the Petco down the street. 1.4328 0.04553 201 131 53 17
462 Look, the side effects say you may feel a little hoarse - spelling mistakes on the label are just not my fault. 1.4328 0.04608 201 132 51 18
463 You will need to double the dose for restless leg syndrome. 1.4328 0.04386 201 128 59 14
464 Twice a day, sir, and have someone hide it in a nice apple or carrot for you. 1.4314 0.04505 204 133 54 17
465 Viagra?!?.. seriously? 1.4300 0.05038 200 140 34 26
466 I know they're called stalls, but I'm still not giving you the bathroom key. 1.4300 0.04729 200 134 46 20
467 Your horse pills, sir. 1.4293 0.04709 198 132 47 19
468 Sir, we will never carry condoms in your size, sorry. 1.4293 0.04709 198 132 47 19
469 This might cause night-mares. 1.4293 0.04655 198 131 49 18
470 If you had read the list of side effects..... 1.4293 0.04709 198 132 47 19
471 Veterinarian grade saves you 15% 1.4293 0.04817 198 134 43 21
472 You may need help applying this to the affected area. 1.4293 0.04655 198 131 49 18
473 The viagra works, it definitely got bigger, yes, but now I have a new problem. 1.4293 0.04817 198 134 43 21
474 Conditions suffered as a result of angering the gods are not included in your coverage, sir. 1.4293 0.04709 198 132 47 19
475 Well, what I meant was no serious side effects. 1.4293 0.04543 198 129 53 16
476 This medication is for your hay fever. 1.4293 0.04709 198 132 47 19
477 The prescription for Charlie Horse, please. 1.4286 0.04744 196 131 46 19
478 I'm just not feeling 100%. 1.4286 0.04744 196 131 46 19
479 I need something for "jockey itch." 1.4286 0.04744 196 131 46 19
480 I'm a horses ass ? What's that behind you ? 1.4286 0.04959 196 135 38 23
481 My Restless Leg Syndrome is twice as bad but I did win the Derby 1.4286 0.04632 196 129 50 17
482 I'm sorry, your insurer doesn't carry prescriptions that deal with mythical conditions. 1.4278 0.04549 194 126 53 15
483 Your insurance doesn't cover pre-existing myths. 1.4278 0.04834 194 131 43 20
484 Did you notice any side effects? 1.4278 0.04246 194 126 55 13
485 I did warn you that taking it may make you a bit horse. 1.4278 0.04608 194 127 51 16
486 Your insurance doesn’ t cover horse’s ass syndrome. 1.4278 0.05103 194 136 33 25
487 I really didn’t notice it, until I stood sideways. 1.4278 0.04549 194 126 53 15
488 Side effects are a myth” 1.4278 0.04549 194 129 49 16
489 This will take care of the trots 1.4278 0.04943 194 133 39 22
490 My ass hurts. 1.4278 0.04834 194 131 43 20
491 It says so right there after headaches, nausea, and vomiting. 1.4278 0.04308 194 122 61 11
492 Give these a try, and if your leg still hurts in a week, just come back in and we’ll shoot you. 1.4278 0.04722 194 129 47 18
493 No pants, no pills 1.4278 0.04549 194 126 53 15
494 Yes, I believe it IS on the list of possible side effects. 1.4278 0.04549 194 126 53 15
495 There is no over-the counter-remedy for a horse's ass. 1.4278 0.04997 194 134 37 23
496 In your case, I’d say no horse play until this prescription runs out. 1.4264 0.04557 197 129 52 16
497 Take it easy, Seabiscuit. It’s ready when it’s ready. 1.4264 0.04557 197 129 52 16
498 Horse-ness is a common side effect, sir, but it's the only drug on the market for dealing with night-mares. 1.4264 0.04500 197 128 54 15
499 Let me grab a different prescription. This is not what I thought you meant by hay fever. 1.4264 0.04724 197 132 46 19
500 Your veterinarian gives you 20 to 1 odds of getting better. 1.4256 0.04976 195 135 37 23
501 Date of birth? 1.4249 0.04737 193 129 46 18
502 Yes, my wife says I need to stop being an ass. Is there a prescription for that? 1.4241 0.04830 191 129 43 19
503 Has your insurance information changed? Tap once for yes, twice for no. 1.4241 0.04714 191 127 47 17
504 Yes, this will keep you stable. 1.4241 0.04772 191 128 45 18
505 This ought to help your hoarseness. 1.4241 0.04772 191 128 45 18
506 I’m sorry but it’s clearly a preexisting condition. 1.4241 0.04349 191 124 55 12
507 I’m sorry. Your prescription won’t be ready until Satyrday. 1.4241 0.04566 191 127 48 16
508 Well, yes, sir, hoarseness IS a common side effect. 1.4241 0.04830 191 129 43 19
509 It says to take one tablet every 25 furlongs. 1.4233 0.04689 189 125 48 16
510 Your shoe's untied. Just kidding, here's your tranquilizer. 1.4233 0.04749 189 126 46 17
511 Sir, I'm sorry for any embarrassment, but the packaging clearly states that side effects may include involuntary dressage. 1.4233 0.04749 189 126 46 17
512 I can see you didn't read the warnings. 1.4233 0.04568 189 123 52 14
513 Yes, you can take them with an apple or a sugar cube. 1.4233 0.04689 189 125 48 16
514 It’s not Corona; I’m just a little horse. 1.4233 0.04924 189 129 40 20
515 Well you either take this or we’ll have to put you down. You pick. 1.4233 0.04568 189 125 49 15
516 This should work, otherwise they may just put you down. 1.4233 0.04924 189 129 40 20
517 Sorry, your insurance has been deneighed. 1.4225 0.08188 71 49 14 8
518 This will get you back on track. 1.4225 0.04569 187 127 44 16
519 Yes, sir, a few side effects. 1.4225 0.04474 187 122 52 13
520 Two verses of "Happy Birthday" for washing your hands, two verses of "Camptown Races" for washing your hooves. 1.4225 0.05076 187 130 35 22
521 How bad is it? I mean, how often do you walk into a bar? 1.4225 0.04903 187 127 41 19
522 Yes,there are some side effects,but seldom is heard a discouraging word. 1.4225 0.04724 187 124 47 16
523 You must be the Centaur of Disease Control" 1.4225 0.04785 187 125 45 17
524 I suspect I may be experiencing some side effects 1.4225 0.04785 187 125 45 17
525 No, you can't use the bathroom. 1.4225 0.04903 187 127 41 19
526 Glad to hear the wife is happier now. 1.4211 0.04903 190 130 40 20
527 Sir, I've worked here over twelve years, and this is this first time I've ever heard of "prescription strength sugar-cubes". 1.4211 0.04959 190 131 38 21
528 This is embarrassing, but I think I have flies... 1.4211 0.04788 190 128 44 18
529 This will help your hay fever symptoms, but ultimately you may want to rethink your diet. 1.4194 0.04552 186 121 52 13
530 These are suppositories, so you may need a ranch hand. 1.4194 0.04552 186 121 52 13
531 Why the long face?! ... Oh, I guess that joke doesn't really work here. 1.4194 0.04552 186 121 52 13
532 Your drug plan doesn't allow refills. We have to shoot you. 1.4194 0.04979 186 128 38 20
533 Sorry, I don’t have anything that cures horse’s ass. 1.4194 0.05037 186 129 36 21
534 This should clear up any horseness. 1.4194 0.04678 186 123 48 15
535 Too strong for you: too weak for the horse 1.4194 0.04422 186 125 47 14
536 Well, honestly, it's the first prescription for hoof and mouth disease I've ever filled. 1.4194 0.04615 186 122 50 14
537 I'm sorry but this hasn't been tested on animals. 1.4194 0.04615 186 122 50 14
538 What didn't you understand about the term 'horse pill'? 1.4194 0.04920 186 127 40 19
539 Stomp once for debit, twice for credit. 1.4194 0.04487 186 120 54 12
540 The side effects may require you to sleep standing up. 1.4194 0.04739 186 124 46 16
541 Are you out of hoof sanitizer? 1.4194 0.04739 186 124 46 16
542 I'm sorry, but it does say here that you could become a little hoarse. 1.4194 0.04487 186 120 54 12
543 All you're worried about is the hairline? 1.4194 0.04920 186 127 40 19
544 'Half-Horse Syndrome' is not a thing. 'Half-Assed' is maybe what you're thinking of. 1.4194 0.04322 186 123 51 12
545 I 'm sorry, I can only give you half a prescription. I am not a veterinarian. 1.4194 0.04678 186 123 48 15
546 I can’t help you. Maybe try the Greek apothecary down the street. 1.4194 0.04800 186 125 44 17
547 I see we have two prescriptions.. 1.4194 0.04615 186 122 50 14
548 Thanks for the feedback; we’ll update the list of possible side-effects. 1.4194 0.04220 186 126 49 11
549 No, not a pandemic, but the CDC recommends you stay in your stall for two weeks. 1.4194 0.04739 186 124 46 16
550 Hay fever season is going to be terrible. 1.4194 0.04678 186 123 48 15
551 'Take with water, but I can't make you.' 1.4185 0.04775 184 123 45 16
552 Oh! I thought you said you were slightly hoarse! 1.4185 0.04712 184 122 47 15
553 True... my erectile dysfunction is better, but none of my pants fit. 1.4185 0.04898 184 125 41 18
554 Yes, I suggest you take these with water; I just can’t make you drink the water. 1.4185 0.04775 184 123 45 16
555 Just so you know, this may cause bucking. 1.4185 0.04837 184 124 43 17
556 “We're all out of face masks. How about some hoof sanitizer?” 1.4185 0.04837 184 124 43 17
557 They're horsepills, but I think you can handle it. 1.4185 0.04775 184 123 45 16
558 I wouldn"t worry. It says these side effects go away 100 percent of the time in half the patients. 1.4185 0.04519 184 119 53 12
559 Any side effects? No sir. No known side effects.” 1.4185 0.04775 184 123 45 16
560 Your insulin is $1000, but the sugar cubes are only a $5 copay. 1.4176 0.04812 182 122 44 16
561 Why yes, it does have some unusual side effects. Why do you ask? 1.4176 0.04748 182 121 46 15
562 Yeah, something was wrong with that batch. 1.4176 0.04874 182 123 42 17
563 If by 'stomping and galloping,' you mean 'restlessness' -- yes, it's listed 1.4167 0.04849 180 121 43 16
564 So you're saying I have to ride out these side effects for another week? 1.4167 0.04378 180 114 57 9
565 Do you mind if I ask where you intend to go when you take this Viagra? 1.4167 0.04849 180 121 43 16
566 Your insurance will only pony up about 50%--which is just about right in your case. 1.4167 0.04784 180 120 45 15
567 I'm looking for a larger toenail clipper. 1.4167 0.04784 180 120 45 15
568 Apparently, being ‘as healthy as a horse’ doesn’t mean what it used to” 1.4167 0.04784 180 120 45 15
569 Hey, it was your idea to save a few bucks and go with the generic brand. 1.4167 0.04784 180 120 45 15
570 Sir, at this juncture I’d say Hay Fever should be the least of your worries. 1.4167 0.04653 180 118 49 13
571 One of these a day and you should have your giddy-up back. 1.4167 0.04975 180 123 39 18
572 Yes, sir, it's a rare side effect but it does happen. 1.4167 0.04912 180 122 41 17
573 What were the side effects? 1.4167 0.04719 180 119 47 14
574 Do you have anything for a pain in the ass? 1.4167 0.04975 180 123 39 18
575 Well,that's strange. I don't see it listed among the side effects. 1.4167 0.04784 180 120 45 15
576 One in the morning and one at post time 1.4167 0.05037 180 124 37 19
577 Potential side effects include, fatigue, nausea and a yearning for the open prairie 1.4167 0.04586 180 117 51 12
578 Didn't you read the label? It says, "stop taking if you become hoarse." 1.4167 0.04448 180 122 45 13
579 It has not been animal-tested 1.4167 0.04784 180 120 45 15
580 It says, "One for a man, and two for a horse". So let's start out with one-and-a-half. 1.4167 0.04784 180 120 45 15
581 You should see substantial mane regrowth, but there are a few side effects. 1.4167 0.04784 180 120 45 15
582 Yeah, with this sometimes only the tail hair grows. 1.4153 0.04914 183 125 40 18
583 Well, I know your internist prescribed this, but let me check with your veterinarian, too. 1.4153 0.04599 183 120 50 13
584 I'm sorry Mr. Mnuchin that your horses ass syndrome is not responding to treatment. 1.4153 0.05325 183 132 26 25
585 Your condition is so unusual that I called for advice from the Centaur for Disease Control. 1.4144 0.05075 181 126 35 20
586 This should help your baldness. 1.4134 0.04667 179 118 48 13
587 Careful with the Viagra, you might injure somebody. 1.4134 0.04992 179 123 38 18
588 You know they test your urine if you win. 1.4134 0.05177 179 126 32 21
589 Yes, your wife did call in your prescription and said a horse's ass would be picking it up. 1.4134 0.04865 179 121 42 16
590 Preparation “H” with an extra-long applicator, please. 1.4134 0.05055 179 124 36 19
591 It’s just an expression, sir. They’re not actually horse pills. 1.4134 0.04461 179 115 54 10
592 Do you have anything to help me avoid the Coronavirus?” “Is that all you’re worried about? 1.4134 0.04600 179 117 50 12
593 Take two capsules just before you hit the hay. 1.4134 0.04734 179 119 46 14
594 Do you prefer capsules or a salt lick? 1.4134 0.05055 179 124 36 19
595 This should cure a bad case of the trots. 1.4134 0.05177 179 126 32 21
596 Here's your prescription, sir. You should start to be less hoarse by tomorrow. 1.4124 0.04770 177 118 45 14
597 Oh ... over the phone I thought you said you were a little hoarse. 1.4124 0.04968 177 121 39 17
598 HOW CAN I POSSIBLY WIN YOUR CAPTION CONTEST IF IT NEEDS TO BE RECEIVED BY YOU ON MARCH “8th” 2020, IF I DON’T GET MY ISSUE UNTIL MARCH “TENTH” 2020 ???? THIS HAPPENS EVERY MONTH !!! 1.4124 0.05519 177 130 21 26
599 Your pronouns, please? 1.4124 0.04968 177 121 39 17
600 These will make you feel better, but you’ll still be a horse’s ass. 1.4114 0.04669 175 115 48 12
601 Nightmares?" 1.4114 0.04942 175 119 40 16
602 It all started with a cough, but this morning I felt very hoarse. 1.4114 0.04808 175 117 44 14
603 Do you have anything for Equestrian Dysfunction? 1.4114 0.04942 175 119 40 16
604 You can pay here, or pony up at the front. 1.4104 0.04776 173 115 45 13
605 I'm pretty sure I told you that side effects included hair loss. 1.4104 0.04776 173 115 45 13
606 Hmm it's pretty rare for it to go beyond the throat... 1.4104 0.05049 173 119 37 17
607 Well, they can't possibly list EVERY potential side effect on the label, you know! 1.4104 0.04914 173 117 41 15
608 Just take one, two is enough for a whole horse. 1.4104 0.05049 173 119 37 17
609 Yep, I’ll be darned. There it is. Between burping and diarrhea. 1.4104 0.04776 173 115 45 13
610 Ahhh... another prescription from Dr. Don's Stable Genius Medical Center... says right here in the fine print,"Side effects include a profound loss of common sense, followed by Horse's Ass Syndrome." 1.4104 0.05181 173 121 33 19
611 I'll give you the pills free if you promise to stop by my Kentucky Derby party. 1.4104 0.04776 173 115 45 13
612 And here I thought satyr was dead 1.4091 0.05018 176 124 33 19
613 I'm afraid we're out of the oral version. How long are your arms? 1.4085 0.08168 71 50 13 8
614 The label clearly states, "There may be some nagging side-effects." 1.4080 0.04683 174 115 47 12
615 And this should help with your gas, Your costume partner will thank you. 1.4070 0.04720 172 114 46 12
616 Box of extra large condoms please 1.4070 0.05392 172 124 26 22
617 It’s ok to trot or canter, but just don’t gallop while on the medication. 1.4070 0.04999 172 118 38 16
618 The warning label did say that side effects included possible hoarseness. 1.4070 0.04791 172 115 44 13
619 Yes, yes, I know how to use the medication. What do I look like, a horse's ass? 1.4070 0.05067 172 119 36 17
620 I don’t know—what did the Centaurs for Disease Control say about this medicine? 1.4070 0.04861 172 116 42 14
621 I supply the pills. I don't stick them in apples for you. 1.4070 0.04791 172 115 44 13
622 If I understand your question correctly, yes these pills can cure your hoarseness. 1.4070 0.04647 172 113 48 11
623 I’m sorry, Mr. Aquinas, but your insurance only covers the hemorrhoid cream, not the six foot applicator. 1.4070 0.05134 172 120 34 18
624 You told your doctor you were a little horse? 1.4070 0.05067 172 119 36 17
625 Hi Bob, can I get a ride home after my shift? 1.4070 0.05134 172 120 34 18
626 Perhaps next time you won't cut me off when I ask if there's any questions about your prescription. 1.4070 0.04999 172 118 38 16
627 This is the best we have for the trots. 1.4070 0.05134 172 120 34 18
628 I'm sorry, sir, I thought you said "Centaur" not "Centrum". 1.4070 0.04861 172 116 42 14
629 Anything for involuntary bowel movements? 1.4048 0.04940 168 114 40 14
630 If you haven't improved in a few days, come back in to be put down. 1.4048 0.05289 168 119 30 19
631 It should work for the gallops, too. 1.4048 0.05221 168 118 32 18
632 I think it may be time to cut back on the steroids Mr. Jones. 1.4048 0.04940 168 114 40 14
633 Is there a problem? 1.4048 0.04868 168 113 42 13
634 Low drug prices are the real fantasy. 1.4048 0.05356 168 120 28 20
635 I am so sorry, sir. I honestly didn’t realize that E.D. were your initials. 1.4036 0.05126 166 115 35 16
636 But does your wife have any complaints? 1.4036 0.04907 166 112 41 13
637 Are you the horse with no mane? 1.4036 0.05126 166 115 35 16
638 Why yes, the hormone therapy was developed with horse genes. Why do you ask? 1.4036 0.04832 166 111 43 12
639 This drug will make you pee like a horse, just sayin'. 1.4036 0.05196 166 116 33 17
640 I'm sorry Mr. Felder, we're out of your transition medication. You'll just have to run in the Derby as you are. 1.4036 0.04981 166 113 39 14
641 One pill three times a day, and if it doesn't work, I'll have to shoot you. 1.4036 0.04981 166 113 39 14
642 I’d suggest you get out of that costume before you start this colonoscopy prep. 1.4036 0.05126 166 115 35 16
643 This should help your hay allergy. 1.4036 0.04756 166 110 45 11
644 No, I''m afraid I can't. You'll have to find a friend who will agree to insert these suppositories for you. 1.4036 0.05266 166 117 31 18
645 On the other hand, your complexion...HAS cleared up! 1.4036 0.04832 166 111 43 12
646 Do you have something to make me drink? 1.4036 0.05054 166 114 37 15
647 Why yes. One for you and one for the horse you rode in on. 1.4036 0.04907 166 112 41 13
648 I told you there might be some side effects! 1.4036 0.04832 166 111 43 12
649 They rushed the CoVid 19 vaccine to the public without knowing the consequences. 1.4036 0.05266 166 117 31 18
650 No, it's not covered. Your insurance policy excludes riders. 1.4036 0.05266 166 117 31 18
651 No, you absolutely may NOT have the key to the restroom. 1.4036 0.05335 166 118 29 19
652 That'll take about 15 minutes to fill. There's a grassy median by the road if you'd like to wait. 1.4024 0.04794 164 109 44 11
653 There's no need to be so offended. All I meant is that these pills are unusually large. 1.4024 0.04168 164 111 46 7
654 Without insurance it’s going to cost you an arm and a hoof. 1.4024 0.03692 164 117 40 7
655 No, I'm afraid we haven't got anything for having been'ridden hard and put away wet.' 1.4024 0.04715 164 108 46 10
656 Being a centaur is a pre-existing condition. 1.4024 0.05023 164 112 38 14
657 Its the medicine recommended by most GastroCentaurologists. 1.4024 0.04948 164 111 40 13
658 Your doctor prescribed this for hoof and mouth disease. 1.4024 0.05241 164 115 32 17
659 The vet wanted to shoot me... 1.4024 0.05023 164 112 38 14
660 Cancel my Viagra subscription. 1.4024 0.05382 164 117 28 19
661 nothing too strong I'm running in the fourth at Belmont 1.4024 0.05170 164 114 34 16
662 I'd recommend Trojans. 1.4024 0.04676 164 114 37 13
663 As side effects go, it's helped in getting me to work on time. 1.4024 0.04715 164 108 46 10
664 Sir, this is enough painkillers to take down a horse... oh 1.4024 0.05097 164 113 36 15
665 We’re half way there. 1.4024 0.04715 164 108 46 10
666 Surprisingly, this is one of the few things that's 100% covered by your healthcare provider. 1.4024 0.04794 164 109 44 11
667 Yes, I can swallow a horse pill. 1.4024 0.04948 164 111 40 13
668 I have this Charlyhorse in my legs. 1.4024 0.04871 164 110 42 12
669 I couldn't reach your physician, but the vet agreed to give you a refill 1.4024 0.04554 164 106 50 8
670 Be sure to take this medication with pasture grass, hay or oats. Get plenty of stable rest and avoid barrel racing for at least three weeks. 1.4024 0.04794 164 109 44 11
671 It’s a nagging cough making me hoarse. 1.4024 0.04948 164 111 40 13
672 Now, you can't pull a chariot within 4-6 hours of taking these. 1.4024 0.05023 164 112 38 14
673 That'll be one buck. 1.4024 0.04948 164 111 40 13
674 I’m sorry but your insurance doesn’t cover either half. 1.4024 0.04871 164 114 36 14
675 Give this a try. But to be honest I would just talk to your HR department about getting one of those new stand-up desks. 1.4024 0.04871 164 110 42 12
676 Sir, what do you identify yourself as? 1.4024 0.05170 164 114 34 16
677 I think you are definitely experiencing a side effect. 1.4024 0.04871 164 110 42 12
678 If you’re still a little horse by the end of the week, come back in. 1.4024 0.04948 164 111 40 13
679 "Mr. Centaur or Mr. Satyr? I can never keep you guys straight." 1.4024 0.05097 164 115 33 16
680 Do you have something for a Charley horse? 1.4024 0.04794 164 109 44 11
681 It says right here on the insert, “Side effects include horseness.” 1.4024 0.05170 164 114 34 16
682 This will help with your cough, but you’ll still be a little hoarse. 1.4024 0.04871 164 110 42 12
683 I'm afraid, in this case, "Horse Pill" is not a euphemism Mr. Phillips. 1.4024 0.04545 169 110 50 9
684 You're lucky! Not too many years ago they'd have just shot you! 1.4024 0.04771 169 113 44 12
685 You look like your brother, but in reverse. 1.4024 0.05127 169 118 34 17
686 ...and cancel the Viagra subscription. 1.4024 0.05263 169 120 30 19
687 You know what they say...a gentleman in the streets, a Sagittarius in the sheets. 1.4023 0.04747 174 117 44 13
688 I think I might have the clop. 1.4012 0.05240 167 118 31 18
689 Horseness is a known side effect. 1.4000 0.05510 110 71 34 5
690 Are you certain you want a rectal thermometer? 1.3988 0.05188 163 114 33 16
691 I'm afraid your insurance co-pay won't cover your ass. 1.3988 0.05115 163 113 35 15
692 This should help with the runs and the trots but we have nothing for the gallops. 1.3975 0.05083 161 111 36 14
693 My wife says I'm not half the man I used to be. Do you have something for that? 1.3962 0.04889 159 107 41 11
694 That’s why you should read the side effects pamphlet before starting any new medication. 1.3962 0.04889 159 107 41 11
695 Well, yes. I did say I would love to be a stud. 1.3951 0.04904 162 110 40 12
696 Here are your hair loss pills. Any other issues? 1.3951 0.04745 162 108 44 10
697 Did you keep the capsules at a stable temperature? 1.3951 0.04825 162 109 42 11
698 Your insurance came back “neigh”. 1.3951 0.04496 162 107 47 8
699 Well,yes,it IS in the list of possible side effects. 1.3951 0.04904 162 110 40 12
700 I apologize most sincerely! "Horse pill" is only meant to refer to the size of the medication. 1.3951 0.05207 162 114 32 16
701 These pills will help with the symptoms, but otherwise you're just gonna have to ride it out. 1.3951 0.04663 162 107 46 9
702 I need something for a sore throat...I'm a little hoarse. 1.3951 0.04663 162 107 46 9
703 There should be two prescriptions, one from my M.D. and one from my veterinarian. 1.3951 0.05133 162 113 34 15
704 For you, or your better half? 1.3951 0.05207 162 114 32 16
705 Yes,I would think pulling a plow would be considered operating heavy equipment. 1.3951 0.04825 162 109 42 11
706 You're correct. This side effect isn't listed. 1.3951 0.04904 162 110 40 12
707 Actually, the dosage would be double if you were a quarter horse. 1.3951 0.04981 162 111 38 13
708 Well, not like a racehorse, no. 1.3951 0.05207 162 114 32 16
709 Sorry, your insurance only covers from the waist up. 1.3951 0.04981 162 111 38 13
710 You said it’s your throat that’s hoarse? 1.3951 0.04663 162 107 46 9
711 Got anything for hayfever? 1.3951 0.04745 162 108 44 10
712 You seem like a well-centaured man. 1.3951 0.04981 162 111 38 13
713 It's a rare side effect and no, I don't have any sugar cubes. 1.3951 0.04981 162 111 38 13
714 This should put a giddy up in your get along. 1.3951 0.05058 162 112 36 14
715 Here - this should help a little with your restless leg syndrome. 1.3951 0.04904 162 110 40 12
716 You are allowed to keep your own trainer under Obamacare" 1.3949 0.04930 157 106 40 11
717 Hold your horses, I’ll be with you in a minute! 1.3949 0.05328 157 111 30 16
718 It says it's for horses, not for men, says it might kill you but it don't say when. 1.3949 0.05092 157 108 36 13
719 Well, it isn't a listed side effect... 1.3949 0.05012 157 107 38 12
720 We're very sorry about the mix up with your Cialis prescription. It looked to us as if your doctor wrote Centaurus. 1.3949 0.04846 157 105 42 10
721 You know, I'm also a Sagittarius! 1.3949 0.05328 157 111 30 16
722 We don’t have any medicines to cure you’re being a horse’s ass, Mr. Barr. 1.3949 0.04930 157 106 40 11
723 Yes. I’m also a farmacist. 1.3949 0.05404 157 112 28 17
724 You can't just ride in here and expect a cure immediately. 1.3949 0.04674 157 103 46 8
725 I apologize, but that term only means the pills are pretty big. 1.3949 0.04930 157 106 40 11
726 No sir, Mane and Tail is in the shampoo aisle. 1.3949 0.05012 157 107 38 12
727 Yes, sir, I suppose “operating heavy machinery” would include dragging a plow. 1.3949 0.04846 157 105 42 10
728 I can't serve you. You're not wearing any pants. 1.3949 0.04930 157 106 40 11
729 Whatever you call it - the runs, the trots - this should help. 1.3949 0.04930 157 106 40 11
730 I'm afraid that "horse pills" only refer to the size of the medication, not the result. 1.3949 0.05012 157 107 38 12
731 It might give you the trots. 1.3949 0.05012 157 107 38 12
732 I'm sorry...You're looking for the 'Centaurs' of Disease Control 1.3949 0.05092 157 108 36 13
733 Any history of abnormal reactions to drugs? 1.3949 0.05012 157 107 38 12
734 You can take if with milk, or a bowl of hay. Just make sure no one rides you for at least 4 hrs 1.3949 0.04674 157 103 46 8
735 Unfortunately, you're saddled with a high deductible. 1.3949 0.04930 157 106 40 11
736 NOW do you have any questions for the pharmacist? 1.3949 0.05172 157 109 34 14
737 Looks like we accidentally gave you psilocybin. 1.3949 0.05012 157 111 32 14
738 Would you like the hay flavored or the cherry flavored tablets? 1.3949 0.04761 157 104 44 9
739 It clearly says that 'horseness' is one of the side effects. 1.3949 0.05012 157 107 38 12
740 Don't worry, your condition's stable 1.3949 0.05328 157 111 30 16
741 My father was a horse's ass. 1.3949 0.05092 157 108 36 13
742 And don't take while pulling farm machinery. 1.3949 0.05012 157 107 38 12
743 I don't think you need to worry about side effects. 1.3949 0.05092 157 108 36 13
744 Well, to me it looks like a pre-existing condition 1.3949 0.05328 157 111 30 16
745 Something for hoof and mouth disease, please, and a bottle of Rogaine 1.3949 0.05092 157 108 36 13
746 I did rub it there. This is what happened. 1.3949 0.04674 157 103 46 8
747 These should have you back in the saddle in no time. 1.3949 0.04846 157 105 42 10
748 It would behoove you to see a doctor. 1.3949 0.05172 157 109 34 14
749 You can sprinkle a crushed one on a tuft of grass. 1.3949 0.04930 157 106 40 11
750 Usually, they won’t prescribe an antibiotic if you’re just a little hoarse.” 1.3949 0.04846 157 105 42 10
751 This is the strongest thing they make for hay fever. 1.3949 0.04761 157 104 44 9
752 I am sorry sir, but according to your insurance company a horse's ass is a pre-existing condition and is therefore not covered. 1.3949 0.04888 157 108 37 12
753 Sorry there's no vaccine for the recent outbreak of centaur virus yet. 1.3935 0.04886 155 104 41 10
754 Some call these horse pills, but don't let that confuse you. 1.3935 0.05055 155 106 37 12
755 Apparently you have taken these before. 1.3935 0.05055 155 110 31 14
756 This will enable you to focus on issues instead of the horserace. 1.3935 0.01941 155 114 38 3
757 Take 3 times a day with hay. 1.3935 0.05137 155 107 35 13
758 We are out of face masks. 1.3935 0.05218 155 108 33 14
759 This is a diuretic. Most patients like you find it unnecessary. 1.3935 0.04800 155 103 43 9
760 Besides nausea, have you experienced any other side effects? 1.3935 0.05055 155 106 37 12
761 The warning clearly states it might make you a little hoarse. 1.3935 0.05298 155 109 31 15
762 And remember to call your vet if your erection doesn’t discontinue after four hours. 1.3935 0.05218 155 108 33 14
763 Take one a day for two weeks and you should be hot to trot. 1.3935 0.05137 155 107 35 13
764 You're going to want the stablehand to wear a glove. 1.3935 0.04971 155 105 39 11
765 Well, you no longer need Viagra. 1.3935 0.04886 155 112 32 11
766 Prescription for E.D. Oh, sorry, that's for Mr. Ed. 1.3935 0.05137 155 107 35 13
767 OK, let's try another medication 1.3935 0.04971 155 105 39 11
768 What do you mean the insurance company said i have a preexisting condition? 1.3935 0.04971 155 105 39 11
769 I don't care if you're the "Centaur for Disease Control"; you still have a co-pay!" 1.3935 0.05055 155 106 37 12
770 Stomp your foot once if you understand the instructions." 1.3935 0.05298 155 109 31 15
771 Are you sure you’re taking these as prescribed? 1.3913 0.05075 161 112 35 14
772 Gave you the trots, you say? 1.3882 0.04944 152 103 39 10
773 The warning on those blue pills said, it might make you feel like a stallion. 1.3882 0.05285 152 107 31 14
774 Any questions?" "No. You? 1.3882 0.05117 152 105 35 12
775 Your wife cancelled your Viagra prescription, but there’s a lady in aisle three who would like to meet you. 1.3882 0.05031 152 104 37 11
776 Take one at night before you hit the hay. 1.3882 0.04855 152 102 41 9
777 According to these instruction, one tablet with hay 3 times daily. 1.3882 0.05202 152 106 33 13
778 It should be filed under Ed. 1.3882 0.04944 152 103 39 10
779 I'd offer you a glass of water if I thought there was a chance you'd drink it. 1.3882 0.05366 152 108 29 15
780 No, you don’t have the coronavirus. 1.3882 0.05285 152 107 31 14
781 This should put the giddy-up back in your step... 1.3882 0.04855 152 102 41 9
782 "And what if I did have hoof-and-mouth disease? Would you still think you're a comedian? 1.3882 0.05526 152 110 25 17
783 It’s going around, my mother is as sick as a dog? 1.3882 0.05447 152 109 27 16
784 Take one pill with meals. No alfalfa or carrots and plenty of rest, no horse play! 1.3882 0.04855 152 102 41 9
785 Horse... not hoarse. 1.3882 0.05285 152 107 31 14
786 Here you go, now giddyup. 1.3882 0.05285 152 107 31 14
787 My wife says that I have become a horse's ass. Do you anything to treat that ? 1.3882 0.05285 152 107 31 14
788 Right now, the odds your prescription is covered are six to one. 1.3882 0.05285 152 107 31 14
789 I'm sorry sir, but health care is a human right. 1.3882 0.04944 152 103 39 10
790 Hair loss may not be the side effect we should deal with first. 1.3867 0.04896 150 101 40 9
791 Do you have anything for “hoof and mouth” disease? 1.3867 0.05417 150 107 28 15
792 Sorry, sir, but it is listed as a side effect in the third paragraph! 1.3867 0.05163 150 104 34 12
793 Side effects may include dry mouth, sore throat, and hoarseness. 1.3867 0.05163 150 104 34 12
794 Sorry to saddle you with this co-pay 1.3867 0.04986 150 102 38 10
795 We may need to double the dose for your restless leg syndrome. 1.3867 0.05249 150 105 32 13
796 This may help you with the runs. 1.3867 0.04710 150 105 35 10
797 Be sure to take this with at least two buckets of water and avoid oats for twenty four hours 1.3867 0.04986 150 102 38 10
798 Side effects include leading yourself to water without experiencing thirst. 1.3867 0.05417 150 107 28 15
799 These pills are so large they're like-er, uh-I mean they're big. 1.3851 0.05030 148 101 37 10
800 I suppose they should be more clear when they say you could become a little hoarse. 1.3851 0.05030 148 101 37 10
801 Half of this is covered by insurance. 1.3851 0.05551 148 107 25 16
802 You're actually worried about the side effects? 1.3851 0.05210 148 103 33 12
803 It's the Corral Virus. See a doctor if it worsens. 1.3851 0.05383 148 105 29 14
804 These are cough drops; I thought you said you were a bit hoarse. 1.3851 0.04844 148 101 38 9
805 This'll take care of the cough, but not the horse-ness 1.3851 0.05383 148 105 29 14
806 Well, you were warned of the side effects. 1.3851 0.04938 148 100 39 9
807 I can read: THREE refills. You don’t have to stomp. 1.3851 0.05121 148 102 35 11
808 Ed, I think you're overusing the horse pills. 1.3851 0.04938 148 100 39 9
809 Yeh, it’s funny because I voted democrat just the once. 1.3851 0.05468 148 106 27 15
810 If it's been longer than four hours, you really should go to the emergency room. 1.3851 0.04938 148 100 39 9
811 Your doctor warned you about side effects, didn't he? 1.3851 0.05030 148 101 37 10
812 Side effects include growing a human torso, hair loss, and an uncontrollable urge to prepare taxes. 1.3851 0.05121 148 102 35 11
813 No, we haven't heard of any side effects. 1.3851 0.05383 148 105 29 14
814 I don't remember this being listed as a side effect. 1.3851 0.05383 148 105 29 14
815 That's $10 copay and $50 to clean up the drive-through from your last visit. 1.3851 0.05468 148 106 27 15
816 I'm going to need to see some ID. 1.3851 0.05030 148 101 37 10
817 At first just my throat was hoarse... 1.3851 0.05383 148 105 29 14
818 This is actually one of the more mild side effects. 1.3851 0.05551 148 107 25 16
819 I’m sorry but you only have partial coverage. 1.3851 0.05030 148 101 37 10
820 Sorry, but I can't fill a 2500-year-old prescription. 1.3851 0.05551 148 107 25 16
821 No, I'm sorry. Viagra does not work for geldings. 1.3851 0.05468 148 106 27 15
822 The side-effects are clearly on the bottle, sir. If you have any more questions, you’ll have to see a vet. 1.3851 0.05383 148 105 29 14
823 For hoof and mouth disease, take one tablet twice daily. 1.3851 0.05121 148 102 35 11
824 Take these and put me down for "Half and Half" in the sixth. 1.3851 0.05030 148 101 37 10
825 Sorry sir, I don’t care what your veterinarians says, I can’t fill this”.. 1.3851 0.05210 148 103 33 12
826 Your coat will be shinier, but unfortunately, it won't help with your bald spot. 1.3851 0.05297 148 104 31 13
827 Sorry, no, you don't get any discount for being from the "Centaur for Disease Control" 1.3851 0.05383 148 105 29 14
828 Did your doctor tell you they’re suppositories? 1.3851 0.05297 148 104 31 13
829 You have one re-filly left after this one. 1.3851 0.05210 148 103 33 12
830 Forgot to take it with food, didn't you? 1.3851 0.05210 148 103 33 12
831 Sorry, sir, erectile dysfunction in centaurs is just a myth. 1.3851 0.05210 148 103 33 12
832 You know, with such a long list of side effects you think they would have included that one... 1.3851 0.05383 148 105 29 14
833 These should help you get back on your feet 1.3851 0.05297 148 104 31 13
834 You may need help inserting these. 1.3851 0.05297 148 104 31 13
835 The cap is foalproof. 1.3851 0.05121 148 102 35 11
836 I told you that if you didn’t use as directed it would make you a little horse. 1.3851 0.05210 148 103 33 12
837 And take two of these at the start of your meetings to keep the flies off. 1.3851 0.04938 148 100 39 9
838 You may have universal health care in Narnia, but here in the U.S. this medication costs $645. 1.3851 0.05121 148 102 35 11
839 Are my horse pills ready? 1.3851 0.05030 148 101 37 10
840 Whoa! Looks like you have a little hitch in your giddyup! 1.3851 0.05297 148 104 31 13
841 This is a horse dose so I suggest cutting it in half. 1.3851 0.05210 148 103 33 12
842 ...and you're sure you took them as directed? 1.3851 0.05210 148 103 33 12
843 Do you have anything to help with the trots? 1.3841 0.05135 151 105 34 12
844 Sir, any medication has side effects 1.3841 0.05468 151 109 26 16
845 There are some unusual side effects to this medication but I see you are already aware of that. 1.3841 0.05135 151 105 34 12
846 I'm sorry sir, you'll have to get this one filled at Petsmart. 1.3841 0.05220 151 106 32 13
847 Be careful, this may give you the trots. 1.3841 0.04960 151 103 38 10
848 This medicine may cause fading around the clubhouse turn. 1.3841 0.04870 151 102 40 9
849 What do you recommend for a severe case of the trots? 1.3841 0.05705 151 112 20 19
850 Can I take it with hay? 1.3841 0.05048 151 104 36 11
851 I hope it's not those giant horse pills again! They did something funny last time. 1.3841 0.04960 151 103 38 10
852 The tablets aren't as effective as the suppository, but I see your point. 1.3841 0.05304 151 107 30 14
853 Take one of these every six furlongs. 1.3841 0.05304 151 107 30 14
854 I can't give you ointment for a late scratch. That's a matter for the racing commission. 1.3836 0.05347 146 103 30 13
855 They work, but as a gelding you're just going to get more frustrated. 1.3836 0.05521 146 105 26 15
856 Stomp twice if you understand the directions for taking these 'horse' pills. 1.3836 0.05347 146 103 30 13
857 By the way...have any friends in the 4th at Belmont? 1.3836 0.05167 146 101 34 11
858 I hope this will help with your night mares. 1.3836 0.04981 146 99 38 9
859 I’m sorry but unless you are a service animal, you’ll have to wait outside for your prescription. 1.3836 0.04981 146 99 38 9
860 Do you have a Veterinarian I can consult with? 1.3831 0.04625 154 102 45 7
861 Side effects include the trots, horseness, and down the stretch marks. . 1.3829 0.04703 175 121 41 13
862 The note from the doctor says "One for a man, Two for a horse". What am I supposed to do here ? 1.3826 0.05268 149 105 31 13
863 Take two of these a day, and you'll be as healthy as a . . . oh, sorry. 1.3826 0.05003 149 102 37 10
864 These should stabilize you. 1.3819 0.05025 144 98 37 9
865 I can't accept veterinarian insurance for the other half. 1.3819 0.05307 144 101 31 12
866 It's not a bad sore throat--I"m just a little hoarse 1.3819 0.05215 144 100 33 11
867 It’s a suppository but you can just swallow it, Jack. 1.3819 0.05307 144 101 31 12
868 Did you follow the dosage directions? 1.3819 0.05025 144 98 37 9
869 Yes, those are our very largest condoms. 1.3819 0.05746 144 106 21 17
870 Tap twice for automatic refills. 1.3819 0.04927 144 97 39 8
871 So, which is it? The runs or the trots? 1.3819 0.05121 144 99 35 10
872 And you already know about the side effects. 1.3819 0.05215 144 100 33 11
873 --and what was your birth species? 1.3819 0.05025 144 98 37 9
874 Was this prescribed by your doctor or your veterinarian? 1.3819 0.05121 144 99 35 10
875 And as to side effects,I see you're in the top 1%. 1.3819 0.05215 144 100 33 11
876 Yeah those side effect warnings are there for a reason. 1.3819 0.04828 144 96 41 7
877 This will treat both your hoof and mouth disease. 1.3819 0.04927 144 97 39 8
878 I’m afraid it’s a suppository. 1.3819 0.05307 144 101 31 12
879 No, I can't do it for you. How long are your arms? 1.3819 0.05307 144 101 31 12
880 Your insurance only covers 50% 1.3819 0.05121 144 99 35 10
881 And clean that up on your way out. 1.3819 0.05025 144 98 37 9
882 The other half of your prescription is at the vet. 1.3819 0.04828 144 98 38 8
883 the blue pills were the ones prescribed by your doctor and the red ones were prescribed by your veterinarian. 1.3819 0.05215 144 100 33 11
884 Lastly, do not take while driving. 1.3819 0.05307 144 101 31 12
885 Do you have anything for hoof and hoof and hoof and hoof and mouth disease? 1.3819 0.05487 144 103 27 14
886 I assure you the side effects in this are more reasonable. 1.3819 0.05025 144 98 37 9
887 No, it won't help with the bald spot, but it will add a nice fluff and sheen to your tail. 1.3819 0.05215 144 100 33 11
888 Side effects may include excessive friskiness, being spooked easily, and the trots. 1.3819 0.05487 144 103 27 14
889 I'm sorry, sir, but it's right here under "Possible Side Effects." 1.3819 0.05487 144 103 27 14
890 I'm Greek -- why do you ask? 1.3819 0.05398 144 102 29 13
891 Sorry, but your veterinarian does not have privileges here. 1.3819 0.05307 144 101 31 12
892 Hold on...it looks like your veterinary insurance is picking up half the co-pay. 1.3819 0.05215 144 100 33 11
893 Is your wife complaining? 1.3819 0.05307 144 101 31 12
894 This will alleviate your anxiety, but it won’t keep you from being a horse’s ass. 1.3819 0.05398 144 102 29 13
895 I’ve got something that will lead you to water but nothing that will make you drink. 1.3819 0.05025 144 98 37 9
896 I understand you're feeling a little horse 1.3819 0.04927 144 97 39 8
897 Are you sure you want the suppositories? 1.3819 0.05398 144 102 29 13
898 This is what we usually recommend for the Trots. 1.3819 0.05487 144 103 27 14
899 This is enough to sedate a...oh never mind. 1.3819 0.05121 144 99 35 10
900 Yep, Trigger, "middle-aged guy with receding hairline" is a possible side effect. 1.3819 0.05487 144 103 27 14
901 Oops. I thought you said the swine flu. 1.3819 0.05398 144 102 29 13
902 I'm guessing you'll need help with these suppositories, Sir. 1.3819 0.05121 144 99 35 10
903 Here’s your medicine but, your insurance will only cover two orthotic horse shoes. 1.3819 0.05025 144 100 34 10
904 Trust me, these pills will make you perform like a stallion. 1.3819 0.05307 144 101 31 12
905 I feel like a 'you know what' but can you go over the side effects with me again? 1.3819 0.05398 144 102 29 13
906 Be sure to take these at grazing time. 1.3819 0.04622 144 94 45 5
907 Don’t pull any heavy equipment; be careful galloping at night. 1.3819 0.05025 144 98 37 9
908 Unfortunately these only come as suppositories. Do you have a close friend or stablemate that you ask for help? 1.3819 0.05398 144 102 29 13
909 Do you have any questions for the farm assist? 1.3819 0.05215 144 100 33 11
910 I guess you’re already familiar with the side effects? 1.3819 0.05307 144 101 31 12
911 If it’s been more than four hours, you might want to call your vet. 1.3810 0.05404 147 105 28 14
912 The baldness cure you gave me had some unexpected side effects ! 1.3810 0.05138 147 102 34 11
913 In what way did it give you the trots?" 1.3810 0.05138 147 102 34 11
914 Take one before dinner with a sugar cube. 1.3793 0.05092 145 100 35 10
915 Stomp once if you have any questions. 1.3793 0.05367 145 103 29 13
916 So, I see the new medication is helping with your transition, Mr. Ed. 1.3793 0.04900 145 98 39 8
917 Go out the door. Turn left and trot down the street about a furlong. The vet will be on the right. 1.3793 0.05185 145 101 33 11
918 says here,"only approved for use in Fauns and Satyrs..." 1.3793 0.05185 145 101 33 11
919 No, you want the Centaur for Disease Control. 1.3793 0.05455 145 104 27 14
920 I'm Republican, why do you ask? 1.3793 0.05367 145 103 29 13
921 Your HMO stands for Horse-Man Option. 1.3793 0.05367 145 103 29 13
922 Sir,I warned you that,on Viagra,you'd be a real stud! 1.3793 0.05628 145 106 23 16
923 The warning is that it could kill a horse! 1.3793 0.05185 145 101 33 11
924 Can you tell me if a side-effect of my medication is an irregular gait? 1.3793 0.04802 145 97 41 7
925 Yes, as advertised, it does restore a full mane of hair. 1.3793 0.05092 145 100 35 10
926 Sorry, but this prescription is for a horse of a different color. 1.3793 0.04802 145 101 35 9
927 Well, it says right here - 'May lead to feelings of extreme equinemity'. 1.3793 0.05092 145 100 35 10
928 It’s yours for free if you let my daughter ride on your back. 1.3793 0.05455 145 104 27 14
929 Take two of these and avoid Santa Anita. 1.3793 0.05455 145 104 27 14
930 We just need the first half of your Social Security number. 1.3776 0.04943 143 97 38 8
931 I know you're trying to help but stomping your hoof like that makes me lose count." 1.3776 0.05233 143 100 32 11
932 Yes, sir - it's a very nice shirt and horseshoes are technically shoes, but I think the service sign implies you should be wearing pants. 1.3759 0.05282 141 99 31 11
933 This'll relieve your hay fever symptoms, but something tells me you've got bigger problems 1.3759 0.05185 141 98 33 10
934 Even in this fantasy, your co-pay is still going to be $110. 1.3759 0.05282 141 99 31 11
935 Do you have any equestrians? 1.3759 0.05471 141 101 27 13
936 I'm sorry. Without a service animal vest, you'll have to leave the store. 1.3759 0.05185 141 98 33 10
937 Well yes, hair loss is a possible side effect. 1.3759 0.05377 141 100 29 12
938 You didn't read the pamphlet, did you? 1.3759 0.05377 141 100 29 12
939 It'll have you back on your feet in no time. 1.3759 0.05377 141 100 29 12
940 Sorry, hoof sanitizer is out of stock. 1.3759 0.05377 141 100 29 12
941 I’m having trouble sleeping. 1.3759 0.05471 141 101 27 13
942 I suggest you return to your barn and don't touch your hands, mouth, eyes or tail. 1.3759 0.05282 141 99 31 11
943 Sure, it feels great when I'm running around on the weekends, but sitting at a desk all day really messes me up. 1.3759 0.05087 141 97 35 9
944 Sorry. Your copay only covers half. 1.3759 0.05087 141 97 35 9
945 But that’s three times as much as you charged the unicorn. 1.3759 0.05282 141 99 31 11
946 This should clear up the congestion. I don't know if it helps your hay allergy. 1.3759 0.05185 141 98 33 10
947 Well, maybe you should have asked about the uncommon side effects. 1.3741 0.05525 139 100 26 13
948 The thought of using suppositories makes everyone feel a little skittish and jumpy, but I can see your wife's point. 1.3741 0.05031 139 95 36 8
949 I will still need to see ID. I don't remember you. 1.3741 0.05429 139 99 28 12
950 Yes, it will prevent hoof and mouth disease. 1.3741 0.05429 139 99 28 12
951 Now that you ask, it does have that as a side effect. We just didn't mention it because it only occurs in 0.0002% of patients. 1.3741 0.05333 139 98 30 11
952 Sir, I can only advise you on your prescriptions but since you asked, in my opinion, yes...posting a full-body shot on Tinder will attract a certain type. 1.3741 0.05234 139 97 32 10
953 Do not gallop while taking this medicine. 1.3741 0.05031 139 95 36 8
954 Family history? Boy, where do I start? 1.3741 0.05234 139 97 32 10
955 These should help clear things up, but in the future I recommend you refrain from buying supplements over the internet. 1.3741 0.05333 139 98 30 11
956 You know, you can be a real horse's ass sometimes. 1.3741 0.05618 139 101 24 14
957 I do apologize sir, but they only list the most common side effects. 1.3741 0.05333 139 98 30 11
958 I told you that one side effect is that it might make you a little horse. 1.3741 0.05133 139 96 34 9
959 I’m sorry. This prescription is in Greek. 1.3741 0.05333 139 98 30 11
960 Avoid breaking a leg as if your life depends on it. 1.3741 0.05031 139 95 36 8
961 Take one capsule every four hours for the hitch in your giddy-up. 1.3741 0.05618 139 101 24 14
962 Apparently there are "droppings" in aisle 2? 1.3741 0.05525 139 100 26 13
963 Is there a bathroom I can use? 1.3741 0.05133 139 98 31 10
964 Take this one by mouth and rub this one on your hoofs twice a day. 1.3741 0.04305 139 96 37 6
965 You're one-part man and three-parts horse. Your drug plan pays only for the man part. 1.3741 0.05234 139 97 32 10
966 The Xanax is working - I feel much more Centaured 1.3741 0.05031 139 102 25 12
967 The sign says, "No shirt, no service". So...I guess you're ok. 1.3741 0.05333 139 98 30 11
968 No, there is no vaccine for centaurvirus yet, either. 1.3741 0.05234 139 97 32 10
969 But do you have anything for hay fever? 1.3741 0.05133 139 96 34 9
970 I"m sorry,sir,they don't make a pill to cure 'horse's ass' syndrome. 1.3741 0.05429 139 99 28 12
971 Any Equestions about this medication? 1.3741 0.05429 139 99 28 12
972 Any side effects? 1.3741 0.04654 139 94 39 6
973 Your cholesterol prescription is ready, but your worm pills are on back order. 1.3741 0.05333 139 98 30 11
974 Oooooh, you wanted to be hung like a horse. 1.3741 0.04819 139 93 40 6
975 This will take care of the syphilis but you'll still be a horse's ass. 1.3741 0.05333 139 98 30 11
976 So I should address these to your old Kentucky home? 1.3741 0.05031 139 95 36 8
977 No, it's not a listed side effect of this drug either. 1.3741 0.04926 139 94 38 7
978 You’re trying to tell me this is not a pre-existing condition? 1.3741 0.05031 139 95 36 8
979 Well, let's see what happens if we try the generic. 1.3741 0.05133 139 96 34 9
980 Is this covered by my half-assed insurance? 1.3723 0.05284 137 96 31 10
981 I’ll tell you what I think... if you’ll just put on a Stetson and a saddle, no one will notice your hair loss. 1.3723 0.05076 137 94 35 8
982 It's Viagra. We don't call them 'hot to trot' pills. 1.3723 0.04970 137 93 37 7
983 Here is your prescription. You need to go to a Veterinarian for your other problem 1.3723 0.04970 137 93 37 7
984 You may experience trouble using public restrooms. 1.3723 0.05284 137 96 31 10
985 You’re three lengths and a nose from meeting this year’s deductible. 1.3723 0.05675 137 100 23 14
986 I've got the runs. 1.3723 0.05129 137 99 27 11
987 How am I supposed to know how many legs you had yesterday? 1.3723 0.05076 137 94 35 8
988 You the guy who called about hoof and mouth? 1.3723 0.04970 137 93 37 7
989 I’m always the centaur of attention! 1.3723 0.05675 137 100 23 14
990 It's basically Valium and hay in a single tablet. 1.3723 0.05483 137 98 27 12
991 Oh, so now it occurs to you to question your herbal medicine strategy. 1.3723 0.05181 137 95 33 9
992 No, my healthcare provider is in a stable, not instable. 1.3723 0.05483 137 98 27 12
993 Yes, sir, it does have oats in it -- good for your better half. 1.3723 0.05076 137 94 35 8
994 Doc, I need some throat medicine. I'm feeling a little horse. 1.3723 0.05181 137 95 33 9
995 I’m a little hoarse. What can I take for my sore throat? 1.3723 0.05181 137 95 33 9
996 No need sir, the one gallon urine sample you provided two minutes ago will suffice. 1.3723 0.05076 137 94 35 8
997 You're the first one Sir to ever ask for the size that we affectionately call 'horse pills.' 1.3723 0.05284 137 96 31 10
998 Refill until you’re in stable condition. Looks like you’re halfway there. 1.3723 0.05483 137 98 27 12
999 I did say, there might be side effects 1.3723 0.04749 137 91 41 5
1000 Time to pony up. 1.3723 0.05483 137 98 27 12
1001 I guess 'may cause horseness' wasn't a typo after all. 1.3704 0.05230 135 94 32 9
1002 It's not a common side effect, I must say. 1.3704 0.05123 135 93 34 8
1003 Yes, the bathroom is species neutral, but it is not long enough to close the door! 1.3704 0.05335 135 95 30 10
1004 Says here it's a 50 percent co-pay 1.3704 0.05335 135 95 30 10
1005 This medication has numerous potential side effects, including hallucinations and delusions. 1.3704 0.05335 135 95 30 10
1006 I have this nagging backache... 1.3704 0.05230 135 94 32 9
1007 Yeah, I'm just glad it wasn't something serious like a broken leg. 1.3704 0.05014 135 92 36 7
1008 That interaction is rare. 1.3696 0.05047 138 95 35 8
1009 These pills can only go so far. You will still have to stop horsing around. 1.3684 0.04829 133 89 39 5
1010 Didn't you read the label? 1.3684 0.05594 133 96 25 12
1011 An unfortunate side effect, but still preferable to death. 1.3684 0.05280 133 93 31 9
1012 And your issue is? 1.3684 0.05387 133 94 29 10
1013 I'm sorry, they just keep repeating that it's a pre-existing condition. 1.3684 0.05060 133 91 35 7
1014 Of all the ploys to get medical marijuana, this is probably the best I've seen. 1.3684 0.05060 133 91 35 7
1015 Yes, I get the irony of my being a little hoarse. 1.3684 0.04946 133 90 37 6
1016 You were warned about side effects 1.3684 0.05492 133 95 27 11
1017 Here’s your Neighagra, sir. 1.3684 0.05387 133 94 29 10
1018 Call your doctor if it lasts longer than four furlongs. 1.3684 0.05492 133 95 27 11
1019 Be sure to call your doctor if you notice signs of skittishness. 1.3684 0.04946 133 90 37 6
1020 It's spelled P-H-A-R-M -- not F-A-R-M. 1.3684 0.05060 133 91 35 7
1021 Sorry, I'll also need a signature from your vet. 1.3684 0.05060 133 91 35 7
1022 Well, suppositories are recommended but I see the problem. 1.3684 0.05060 133 91 35 7
1023 A sore throat could explain why you are a little horse. 1.3684 0.05594 133 96 25 12
1024 You trying to kick the habit? 1.3684 0.05280 133 93 31 9
1025 The manufacturer does say one of the side effects is horseness. 1.3684 0.04829 133 89 39 5
1026 I need your actual date of birth. ‘Sagittarius, obviously’ isn’t specific enough. 1.3684 0.05060 133 91 35 7
1027 These work great if you have a sore throat and feel a little horse. 1.3684 0.05171 133 92 33 8
1028 I see you already know about the side effects. 1.3684 0.05171 133 92 33 8
1029 Hoarseness is the most common side effect. 1.3684 0.05171 133 92 33 8
1030 We give you a printout with COMMON side-effects. Yours, on the other hand... 1.3684 0.05171 133 92 33 8
1031 You can stop worrying, pattern baldness is passed down through the mother. 1.3684 0.05060 133 91 35 7
1032 It's the best thing we have for the trots. 1.3684 0.05387 133 94 29 10
1033 These should control your urge to gallop when doors open. 1.3684 0.05492 133 95 27 11
1034 I understand you are feeling horse? 1.3684 0.04946 133 90 37 6
1035 Anything for pain in the pastern--right where it meets the fetlock? 1.3684 0.04829 133 89 39 5
1036 Thats right Mr. Jones, two in the morning and two more when you hit the hay... 1.3684 0.05280 133 93 31 9
1037 Again, as I've said before, "Results may vary". 1.3684 0.05171 133 92 33 8
1038 I thought you said your throat was hoarse! 1.3684 0.05060 133 91 35 7
1039 That's a common myth. 1.3684 0.05387 133 94 29 10
1040 Avoid oats and alfalfa while taking this medication. 1.3684 0.05280 133 93 31 9
1041 It doesn't appear that you'll be saddled with a huge co-pay... 1.3684 0.05171 133 92 33 8
1042 Thanks for vising the farmacy. 1.3684 0.05280 133 93 31 9
1043 Without insurance you’ll have to pony up for this prescription. 1.3684 0.05171 133 94 30 9
1044 Do you have anything for a relentless, lower back ache? 1.3684 0.05492 133 95 27 11
1045 These doctors need to start typing up their prescriptions- I was supposed to be prescribed Eliquis! 1.3684 0.05280 133 93 31 9
1046 The add says 10% discount for SENIORS, not centaurs! 1.3684 0.05280 133 93 31 9
1047 I can see that, but you still have to pony up for the co-pay. 1.3684 0.05594 133 96 25 12
1048 Of course it's like swallowing a horse pill. 1.3684 0.05387 133 94 29 10
1049 Take two daily with a bag of oats 1.3684 0.05387 133 94 29 10
1050 This will give you some giddyup. 1.3684 0.05171 133 92 33 8
1051 Now the pills are very large, but that shouldn't be a problem for you. Take them as directed, and you'll be back in the saddle again. 1.3684 0.05171 133 92 33 8
1052 And what exactly leads you to suspect hay fever? 1.3684 0.05171 133 92 33 8
1053 To refill your prescription should I call your doctor or your veterinarian. 1.3684 0.05594 133 96 25 12
1054 Mane enhancement is not covered by your insurance. 1.3684 0.05171 133 92 33 8
1055 Yes, insurance only paid for half again. 1.3684 0.05492 133 95 27 11
1056 Take one twice a day with oats. 1.3684 0.05280 133 93 31 9
1057 So, you'd rather oral, not suppository? 1.3684 0.05060 133 91 35 7
1058 Well, this medication should help you get back on your hooves in no time. 1.3684 0.05060 133 91 35 7
1059 There's a warning here about possible loss of equinimity. 1.3684 0.05594 133 96 25 12
1060 So,you're still a little hoarse? 1.3684 0.05280 133 93 31 9
1061 Yes, excessive hair loss can be a side effect. 1.3684 0.05060 133 91 35 7
1062 Take twice a day with grass or hay. 1.3684 0.05171 133 92 33 8
1063 I need to see your drivers license. 1.3684 0.05492 133 95 27 11
1064 Side effects? Only if you believe the myths. 1.3684 0.05492 133 95 27 11
1065 I was OK with was dry mouth and constipation, but metamorphosis was supposed to be extremely rare. 1.3684 0.05492 133 95 27 11
1066 The rest of the horse should be gone within a week. 1.3684 0.05387 133 94 29 10
1067 Why do you ask? 1.3684 0.05171 133 92 33 8
1068 Just know this hay fever med can cause the trots. 1.3684 0.05594 133 96 25 12
1069 No galloping for two weeks. And go easy on the sugar cubes. 1.3684 0.05060 133 91 35 7
1070 This is a sure fire cure for baldness. 1.3657 0.05140 134 93 33 8
1071 If your erection lasts more than four hours...call your veterinarian." 1.3657 0.05248 134 94 31 9
1072 Well, you could get it cheaper from a veterinarian. 1.3657 0.05140 134 93 33 8
1073 There's nothing you can take for being a horse's ass. 1.3657 0.05458 134 96 27 11
1074 Take the recommended horse dosage and halve it. 1.3657 0.05248 134 94 31 9
1075 Believe it or not, I'm the only one who has that prescription 1.3657 0.05029 134 94 32 8
1076 Feeling hoarse, are we? 1.3657 0.05029 134 92 35 7
1077 You can cut the horse pills in half. 1.3657 0.05140 134 93 33 8
1078 I see you are suffering from Horse's Ass Disease. 1.3657 0.05354 134 95 29 10
1079 Hoof and mouth disease, Mr. Smith? 1.3657 0.05354 134 95 29 10
1080 Do you have anything to treat the trots? 1.3657 0.05029 134 92 35 7
1081 Hayfever again, eh, Walter? 1.3657 0.05029 134 92 35 7
1082 It's good to hear you're in stable condition. 1.3657 0.05029 134 92 35 7
1083 Well, the label does say that this drug may cause hoarseness. 1.3615 0.04884 130 88 37 5
1084 You right, it isn’t one of the listed side affects. 1.3615 0.05238 130 91 31 8
1085 No I don't mean really big pills, I need actual horse pills! 1.3615 0.05569 130 94 25 11
1086 Do you have anything for a thinning mane? 1.3615 0.05461 130 93 27 10
1087 Please speak up, sir, you're a little hoarse. 1.3615 0.04884 130 88 37 5
1088 If it helped me get to sleep, I wouldn't mind the side effects either. 1.3615 0.05461 130 93 27 10
1089 This should take care of that nagging Charley horse. 1.3615 0.05461 130 93 27 10
1090 What’s really strange, Mr. Mackenzie, is that hair loss isn’t even listed as a side effect. 1.3615 0.05350 130 92 29 9
1091 Why do you assume it's hoof and mouth? 1.3615 0.05350 130 92 29 9
1092 Stay away from rodeos and don't touch your face with your hooves. 1.3615 0.05350 130 92 29 9
1093 I can't read your veterinarian's handwriting, Mr. Ed. 1.3615 0.05123 130 90 33 7
1094 Yes sir, I gave you the right medicine this time! 1.3615 0.05350 130 92 29 9
1095 How, on earth, may I help you? 1.3615 0.05675 130 95 23 12
1096 I'm a bit hoarse. 1.3615 0.05350 130 92 29 9
1097 Well...It's not on the official list of side effects. 1.3615 0.05350 130 92 29 9
1098 This will work on everything from headache to hoof and mouth. 1.3615 0.05005 130 89 35 6
1099 Would you mind giving me a ride home? 1.3615 0.05238 130 91 31 8
1100 Take one from your doctor in the morning and one from the Vet before bed. 1.3594 0.05735 128 94 22 12
1101 I don't believe we have anything for that. 1.3594 0.05735 128 94 22 12
1102 Oats? Aisle three. 1.3594 0.05171 128 89 32 7
1103 This’ll fix the hitch in your giddy up. 1.3594 0.05051 128 88 34 6
1104 'You're right, that wasn't on the listed side effects' 1.3594 0.05051 128 88 34 6
1105 The veterinary policy has better coverage. 1.3594 0.05171 128 91 29 8
1106 You'll find the poop bags in the centaur aisle. 1.3594 0.05171 128 89 32 7
1107 I'm sorry sir, but we're sold out of hoof sanitizer too. 1.3594 0.05946 128 96 18 14
1108 I wish to report a side effect they missed with this medication. 1.3594 0.05051 128 88 34 6
1109 Yes, it does say it can cause hoarseness. Why do you ask? 1.3594 0.05404 128 91 28 9
1110 As a side effect you may temporarily become a naiad. 1.3594 0.05171 128 89 32 7
1111 But sir, you were offered a consultation with the pharmacist before taking the horse pill. 1.3594 0.05516 128 92 26 10
1112 I get that you are not a unicorn but this is the best I can do 1.3594 0.05051 128 88 34 6
1113 No, Sir. I did not call the Centaur for Disease Control. 1.3594 0.05516 128 92 26 10
1114 P-H-A-R-M-A-C-Y not F-A-R-M-A-C-Y! 1.3594 0.05171 128 89 32 7
1115 Let's go over the possible side effects of your hair loss prescription. 1.3594 0.05516 128 92 26 10
1116 So you say you woke up feeling a little horse this morning? 1.3594 0.05516 128 92 26 10
1117 Are you sure you want to keep going with this prescription? 1.3594 0.05289 128 90 30 8
1118 Just remember, you'll need to get your urine tested before Monday's opening bell 1.3594 0.05735 128 94 22 12
1119 No, you can't use the stall in the men's room. 1.3594 0.05516 128 92 26 10
1120 Hey! Are you the guy from Narnia? 1.3594 0.05735 128 94 22 12
1121 When you say you’re feeling a little horse, can you be more specific? 1.3594 0.05735 128 94 22 12
1122 Take 1 per day and limit your intake of oats. 1.3588 0.05317 131 93 29 9
1123 Now, you need to be careful,because this may disqualify you from the Kentucky Derby. 1.3588 0.05205 131 92 31 8
1124 It's not covered by Medicare, but you can use your pet insurance. 1.3582 0.05545 134 98 24 12
1125 I recommend the Centaurum Silver. 1.3571 0.05459 126 90 27 9
1126 Take these, too. There's been an outbreak of hoof and mouth. 1.3571 0.05797 126 95 18 13
1127 I read all the side effects possible and saw nothing about becoming a horse's ass. 1.3571 0.05574 126 91 25 10
1128 Yeah, you’re probably going to have to get someone to help with these suppositories. 1.3571 0.05797 126 93 21 12
1129 The supplements claimed to make me a stud, but... ummm... 1.3571 0.05574 126 91 25 10
1130 I thought you meant my voice would get hoarse... 1.3571 0.05574 126 91 25 10
1131 Take these with hay if they upset your stomach. 1.3571 0.05341 126 89 29 8
1132 Remember to always take with feed. 1.3571 0.05221 126 88 31 7
1133 Look at it from the bright side.There IS more hair on you... 1.3571 0.05459 126 90 27 9
1134 Now, some people have trouble swallowing these horse pills. 1.3571 0.05221 126 88 31 7
1135 Your side effects may include headache, nausea, sore throat, and horseness. 1.3571 0.05098 126 87 33 6
1136 Well I'll certainly be reading the side effect warnings more closely after this 1.3571 0.04972 126 86 35 5
1137 OK. You do have shoes. But 'No Pants, No Service'. 1.3571 0.05459 126 90 27 9
1138 I hear your condition is stable. 1.3571 0.05098 126 87 33 6
1139 Technically, it’s a blind study but with this pronounced side effect, it’s pretty obvious that you are not in the placebo group. 1.3571 0.05797 126 93 21 12
1140 This should take care of your erectile dysfunction, but I'm not sure that's your biggest problem with sex. 1.3571 0.05686 126 92 23 11
1141 'Administer daily in a piece of apple. If no results in one week, shoot patient'. Would you like to speak with the pharmacist? 1.3571 0.05574 126 91 25 10
1142 “Looks like there's a rider on your policy.” 1.3571 0.05098 126 87 33 6
1143 This medicine should eliminate the trots. 1.3571 0.05686 126 92 23 11
1144 Stomp once if you want to speak to a pharmacist, twice if you want to set up an automatic refill. 1.3571 0.05459 126 90 27 9
1145 Take it with a bag of oats twice daily. 1.3571 0.05098 126 87 33 6
1146 The good news is there is no copay under your veterinary insurance. The bad news is these horse pills are enormous. 1.3571 0.05341 126 89 29 8
1147 Sooner or later, the Olmpics' drug testing protocol is going to catch this. 1.3571 0.04842 126 87 34 5
1148 ….no, but I do have some apples here. 1.3571 0.05341 126 89 29 8
1149 Sir, there is no such side effect as becoming a horse of a different color. 1.3571 0.05797 126 93 21 12
1150 Well, it says right here the medication could make you a little hoarse. 1.3571 0.05221 126 88 31 7
1151 I suppose you want something for your back problem? 1.3571 0.05574 126 91 25 10
1152 Side effects may include headache, drowsiness, and immortality. 1.3571 0.04972 126 86 35 5
1153 Sorry, but “horse pill” is just a figure of speech. 1.3571 0.05221 126 88 31 7
1154 Side effects include fetlock fungus, withering withers and sleep trotting. 1.3571 0.05098 126 87 33 6
1155 Well, it could be worse. You still have your head. 1.3571 0.05098 126 87 33 6
1156 They are just going to shoot you, you know. 1.3548 0.05633 124 90 24 10
1157 At your age I'd recommend Centaurum Silver. 1.3548 0.05017 124 85 34 5
1158 It happens to a lot of Centaurs your age. 1.3548 0.05395 124 88 28 8
1159 I suppose Trojans are your best bet. 1.3548 0.05395 124 88 28 8
1160 I' don't think it's the drug making you pee like a race horse. 1.3548 0.05395 124 88 28 8
1161 I think you gave me the wrong pills. 1.3548 0.05272 124 87 30 7
1162 I don’t EVEN want to know. 1.3548 0.05748 124 91 22 11
1163 We call it diarrhea, sir, not the trots. 1.3548 0.05515 124 89 26 9
1164 We don't have anything yet for Covfefe 19. 1.3548 0.05861 124 92 20 12
1165 Do you have anything for getting rid of a horse's ass? 1.3548 0.05748 124 91 22 11
1166 They’re disputing this is a pre-existing condition. 1.3548 0.05272 124 87 30 7
1167 Excuse me sir, the dosage on this prescription is enough to kill a.....oh sorry! 1.3548 0.05861 124 92 20 12
1168 The bottle says that if you remain a stallion for more than four hours, contact your doctor. 1.3548 0.05395 124 88 28 8
1169 These will help with your blood pressure, but you'll need to cool it with the salt lick. 1.3548 0.05146 124 86 32 6
1170 It behooves you to take this exactly as directed. 1.3548 0.05146 124 86 32 6
1171 I’m picking up a prescription for Hoof and Mouth Disease! 1.3548 0.05395 124 88 28 8
1172 We don't see a lot of hoof and mouth. 1.3548 0.05395 124 88 28 8
1173 Swallow with plenty of water. If successful, you may have a carrot. 1.3548 0.05515 124 89 26 9
1174 No sir. We don't have any half-ass drugs. 1.3548 0.05272 124 87 30 7
1175 This brand is high in palamino acids. 1.3548 0.05748 124 91 22 11
1176 No, the hair loss medication shouldn't affect your tail. 1.3548 0.04884 124 84 36 4
1177 You may find it difficult to swallow these pills 1.3534 0.05140 133 94 31 8
1178 Take one tablet twice a day and you'll be peeing like a racehorse. 1.3529 0.07186 68 48 16 4
1179 Sorry sir, drinks are not allowed in the store. 1.3529 0.07486 68 49 14 5
1180 Take two per day with plenty of hay. 1.3525 0.05450 122 87 27 8
1181 I've been feeling a bit hoarse. 1.3525 0.05195 122 85 31 6
1182 This should help clear up your case of the trots.... 1.3525 0.05811 122 90 21 11
1183 Do you have anything for the galloping pneumonia? 1.3525 0.05573 122 88 25 9
1184 And no dressage for six weeks. 1.3525 0.05573 122 88 25 9
1185 I thought you said '...a little hoarse.' 1.3525 0.05195 122 85 31 6
1186 Something for jock itch, please. And with an extra long application tip 1.3525 0.05693 122 89 23 10
1187 I’m sorry — it doesn’t look like hoof and mouth disease is covered by your insurance. 1.3525 0.05063 122 84 33 5
1188 Well. The side effects are pretty obvious, aren't they? 1.3525 0.05324 122 86 29 7
1189 Technically, that's more of a rear effect. 1.3525 0.05063 122 84 33 5
1190 The last guy came in here half-assed 1.3525 0.05573 122 88 25 9
1191 Use liniment on the bottom and minoxidil on the top. 1.3525 0.05195 122 85 31 6
1192 It's for galloping pneumonia. 1.3525 0.05324 122 86 29 7
1193 No it says 2 every 4 hours not 4 every 2 hours. 1.3525 0.05573 122 88 25 9
1194 Unfortunately, Viagra is ineffective for geldings. 1.3525 0.05573 122 88 25 9
1195 This is for congestion, your vet has to explain the one for your stomach. 1.3525 0.05573 122 88 25 9
1196 After four hours, you were supposed to call your doctor. 1.3525 0.05324 122 86 29 7
1197 You can take this with either food or hay. 1.3525 0.05195 122 85 31 6
1198 I don't think I should have to explain myself. 1.3525 0.05324 122 86 29 7
1199 You may have the urge to trot and canter. 1.3525 0.05450 122 87 27 8
1200 ...and don't let anyone ride you for at least two weeks. 1.3525 0.05573 122 88 25 9
1201 I can read the possible side effects to you again if you like. 1.3525 0.05324 122 86 29 7
1202 If you read the small print you will see that is one of the side effects. 1.3525 0.05693 122 89 23 10
1203 I warned you that it might make you a little horse. You heard it how you wanted to. 1.3525 0.05573 122 88 25 9
1204 Boy,they weren't kidding about the side effects. 1.3525 0.05450 122 87 27 8
1205 Stop taking these if you get the trots. 1.3525 0.05693 122 89 23 10
1206 I'll need your primary vet as well. 1.3525 0.05573 122 88 25 9
1207 This medication has been known to make some users a little horse. 1.3525 0.05450 122 87 27 8
1208 I suggest you take these with a bucket of water. 1.3525 0.05693 122 89 23 10
1209 They're saying your odds are 5 to 1. 1.3525 0.05573 122 88 25 9
1210 Let me call the vet to confirm 1.3525 0.05811 122 90 21 11
1211 People think I’m a centrist, but I’m actually left of centaur and I support Medicare for all. 1.3525 0.05063 122 84 33 5
1212 No shorts, no shoes, no service. 1.3525 0.05573 122 88 25 9
1213 I believe we gave you horse pills by mistake. 1.3525 0.05324 122 86 29 7
1214 It says here that liniment side effects can include becoming an accountant. 1.3525 0.05573 122 88 25 9
1215 It's not our fault you didn't read the list of possible side effects. 1.3525 0.05450 122 87 27 8
1216 Yes sir, only in suppository. 1.3525 0.05063 122 84 33 5
1217 I wish I could help, but these only come in suppositories. 1.3525 0.05324 122 86 29 7
1218 Ah, here's the problem. You took Roangaine. 1.3525 0.05324 122 86 29 7
1219 You should have read the label. 1.3525 0.05195 122 85 31 6
1220 I'm sorry sir. No shirt,no shoes,no service. 1.3525 0.05573 122 88 25 9
1221 You took how many Centaurum for Men? 1.3525 0.05450 122 87 27 8
1222 I carry only one of the meds. The other one you have to get from a vet pharmacy. 1.3525 0.05693 122 89 23 10
1223 I'm sorry sir. Your insurance only covers half of your prescription. 1.3525 0.04928 122 85 32 5
1224 You said the medication would turn me into a stallion, but this is ridiculous 1.3525 0.06039 122 92 17 13
1225 I see you were undaunted by the disclaimers on this medication. 1.3525 0.05195 122 85 31 6
1226 You have to take this with 4 ounces of hay. 1.3525 0.05573 122 88 25 9
1227 Who ordered this prescription, your doctor or your vet? 1.3525 0.05926 122 91 19 12
1228 I'm sorry, but your insurance won't be able to cover the back end of the cost. 1.3525 0.05693 122 89 23 10
1229 Sorry, we don't carry Trojans for horses. 1.3525 0.05573 122 88 25 9
1230 My insurance thinks I can be taken for a ride. 1.3525 0.05450 122 87 27 8
1231 I just think you need to print the side effects a little bigger. 1.3525 0.05693 122 89 23 10
1232 Sorry, we are out of Purel. 1.3525 0.05693 122 89 23 10
1233 Please don't pound your hoof, just say "five". 1.3525 0.05195 122 85 31 6
1234 Dizziness, vomiting...gelding. 1.3525 0.06039 122 92 17 13
1235 I'm sorry. This needs to be co-signed by your vet. 1.3525 0.05324 122 86 29 7
1236 Nice try! So far the best trick to get a Ketamine dose I have ever seen 1.3525 0.05811 122 90 21 11
1237 Why yes Mr. Post, the Equine Flu is going around. 1.3525 0.05195 122 85 31 6
1238 My throat is scratchy and I feel a little horse. 1.3525 0.05811 122 90 21 11
1239 Sir, the side effects are clearly spelled out. 1.3525 0.05195 122 85 31 6
1240 Granted, it is more of a lower half effect, but the warning was clear. 1.3525 0.05324 122 86 29 7
1241 Something for large flies? 1.3525 0.05324 122 86 29 7
1242 I'm sorry, but we can't accept free rides as a co-pay. 1.3525 0.05693 122 89 23 10
1243 No, we haven't seen this side effect before. 1.3525 0.05450 122 87 27 8
1244 No one ever listens. You can’t take those pills on an empty stomach. 1.3525 0.05450 122 87 27 8
1245 Something Quixotic? 1.3525 0.05195 122 85 31 6
1246 we're going to need an approval from your doctor AND your veterinarian 1.3525 0.05573 122 88 25 9
1247 You did ask for something that would turn you into a stallion. 1.3525 0.05573 122 88 25 9
1248 Possible side effects are.... You know what? Never mind. 1.3525 0.05450 122 87 27 8
1249 Something to restore my mane please. 1.3525 0.05450 122 87 27 8
1250 Remember, no alfalfa for the next 10 days. 1.3525 0.05195 122 85 31 6
1251 Side effects may include grazing and galloping. 1.3525 0.05195 122 85 31 6
1252 It’s absolutely undetectable— you’re good to go in the fourth at Belmont. 1.3525 0.05811 122 90 21 11
1253 Anything for the cure of a horse's ass? 1.3525 0.05324 122 86 29 7
1254 I know the sign says “No shoes, No shirts, No service”, but it’s kind of implied to bring pants. 1.3525 0.05324 122 86 29 7
1255 I have that in oral or suppository, which do you prefer? 1.3525 0.05573 122 88 25 9
1256 These should help get you off your high horse, Mr. Jones. 1.3525 0.05324 122 86 29 7
1257 It may cause flared nostrils. 1.3525 0.05324 122 86 29 7
1258 Yes, those indeed were horse pills. 1.3525 0.05693 122 89 23 10
1259 Yes, Centaur Silver is on isle three. 1.3525 0.05324 122 86 29 7
1260 Other possible side effects may include unicorn horn and mermaid tail. 1.3525 0.05811 122 90 21 11
1261 What do you have for athlete's hoof? 1.3525 0.05324 122 86 29 7
1262 This will help with your back pain, but what would help more is to scrap your ride-sharing gig. 1.3520 0.05359 125 89 28 8
1263 I took the medicine you gave me for being hoarse, now I have the trots. 1.3500 0.05755 120 88 22 10
1264 This should reduce pain as you complete the transition, Mr. Ed. 1.3500 0.05246 120 84 30 6
1265 Take these with some apples and hay. 1.3500 0.06109 120 91 16 13
1266 Your vet will need to fill the other half. 1.3500 0.05378 120 85 28 7
1267 And I'm telling you we did not give you horse pills. 1.3500 0.05378 120 85 28 7
1268 These might make you feel a bit jumpy 1.3500 0.05507 120 86 26 8
1269 Those male enhancement pills are more effective than I thought. 1.3500 0.05507 120 86 26 8
1270 Can you help me?I’ve been horse all week 1.3500 0.05876 120 89 20 11
1271 You know, sir, this pharmacy does have prescription delivery service. No need to hoof it here. 1.3500 0.04125 120 84 33 3
1272 Broncoronavirus? 1.3500 0.05507 120 86 26 8
1273 It says "one for a man, two for a horse." What do you think? 1.3500 0.05632 120 87 24 9
1274 Take two of these before galloping off into the sunset. 1.3500 0.05507 120 86 26 8
1275 Well, sir, we’ve never seen a side effect quite like that before. 1.3500 0.05632 120 87 24 9
1276 It says: Symptoms may vary 1.3500 0.04972 120 82 34 4
1277 Take as directed or you could get the trots. 1.3500 0.05507 120 86 26 8
1278 Sorry sir, the men's room has been having plumbing issues...but there are plenty of good spots down the road. 1.3500 0.05632 120 87 24 9
1279 No, use of this drug is not allowed on the day of the race." 1.3500 0.05179 120 86 27 7
1280 Do not drive, operate heavy machinery, or steeplechase when taking this medication. 1.3500 0.05507 120 86 26 8
1281 I'm sorry, your plan doesn't cover pre-existing conditions. 1.3496 0.05288 123 87 29 7
1282 By the way, what do you recommend for hay fever? 1.3496 0.05413 123 88 27 8
1283 And you’re sure you don’t have any questions about how suppositories work? 1.3496 0.05161 123 86 31 6
1284 Please pardon the expression sir, I meant no disrespect – you see, the pills are very large in nature. 1.3496 0.05535 123 89 25 9
1285 This one’s good if you’re feeling a little hoarse 1.3496 0.05413 123 88 27 8
1286 Now, do you have questions about posible side effects? 1.3496 0.05413 123 88 27 8
1287 There may be side effects. 1.3496 0.05535 123 89 25 9
1288 This will help with the trots. 1.3478 0.05530 115 82 26 7
1289 Best taken 2 - 3 hours before grazing. 1.3475 0.05565 118 85 25 8
1290 Take two of these a day and you'll feel less horse. 1.3475 0.05694 118 86 23 9
1291 This will stop bartenders from asking "why the long face?" 1.3475 0.05298 118 83 29 6
1292 Sorry, no shoes, no service! 1.3471 0.05715 121 89 22 10
1293 Trust me, they'll go down way easier than most everything else you'll be asked to swallow between now and November. 1.3471 0.05715 121 89 22 10
1294 Every time I come here it feels like I'm the centaur of attention. 1.3471 0.05715 121 89 22 10
1295 This should be enough to get you through the parade. 1.3471 0.05077 121 84 32 5
1296 Any symptoms other than the coughing? 1.3471 0.05211 121 85 30 6
1297 You can take it with or without oats. 1.3468 0.05127 124 87 31 6
1298 Twice a day for a week, and then call your doctor if hoarseness persists. 1.3448 0.05625 116 84 24 8
1299 Sir, I clearly the explained the side effects the first time I filled this prescription. 1.3448 0.05210 116 81 30 5
1300 It's a suppository. How long are your arms? 1.3448 0.05625 116 84 24 8
1301 Yes, this could make your heart race. 1.3448 0.05625 116 84 24 8
1302 I'll need 4 pairs of Dr. Scholl's insoles 1.3448 0.05352 116 82 28 6
1303 I warned you of the possible side-effects. 1.3448 0.05064 116 80 32 4
1304 I know you want to win sir, but these drugs are still banned by the IOC. 1.3448 0.05625 116 84 24 8
1305 If you take these seventy-two hours before a big race, and they give you a blood test, you will be disqualified. 1.3448 0.05490 116 83 26 7
1306 And this will definitely cure my big issue, with hair loss? 1.3448 0.05757 116 85 22 9
1307 But I'm actually really enjoying the side effects. 1.3448 0.05352 116 82 28 6
1308 You say you're the Centaur from Disease Control? 1.3448 0.05757 116 85 22 9
1309 I hope you have help... it‘S a suppository 1.3448 0.05757 116 85 22 9
1310 Listen, you didn't hear it from me, but you can get this a lot cheaper in Narnia. 1.3448 0.05490 116 83 26 7
1311 No, no. I said, “sublingually.” 1.3448 0.06011 116 87 18 11
1312 Which pill’s for the foot and which one’s for the mouth? 1.3448 0.05885 116 86 20 10
1313 It’s for my ass. 1.3448 0.05757 116 85 22 9
1314 Anything for an equine infection? 1.3448 0.05490 116 83 26 7
1315 We don't sell viagra to centaurs. 1.3448 0.05352 116 82 28 6
1316 Give it a week, and you should be able to eliminate the clean up crew following you around. 1.3448 0.05210 116 81 30 5
1317 Any other side effects? 1.3448 0.05757 116 85 22 9
1318 "My doctor and my veterinarian can't agree on these pills. What do you suggest?" 1.3448 0.05210 116 81 30 5
1319 I wanted to be hung like a horse, not turn into one. 1.3448 0.06011 116 87 18 11
1320 One throat lozenge. My voice is very horse. 1.3448 0.05064 116 80 32 4
1321 Sir I don't see the problem, you are already hung like a horse. 1.3448 0.05210 116 81 30 5
1322 You’re right. The prescription would be cheaper if you were 100% horse. 1.3448 0.05885 116 86 20 10
1323 "Side effects? You're worried about side effects?" 1.3448 0.05885 116 86 20 10
1324 That’s $18.50 for the statin and $6.00 for the cleanup on aisle 7. 1.3448 0.05885 116 86 20 10
1325 and not only will this get you over your hay fever but you'll probably start eating like a horse 1.3448 0.05210 116 81 30 5
1326 While you’re on this medication, you should not drink alcohol, operate heavy machinery, or run any races” 1.3448 0.04914 116 79 34 3
1327 Well, it says right here: “May cause you to sound like an ass, and in extreme cases, such as mixing alcohol with social media, becoming one.” 1.3448 0.05490 116 83 26 7
1328 No, I specifically NEED the horse pills... 1.3448 0.05421 116 85 23 8
1329 I don’t want to discuss it, but I still take all medications orally. 1.3448 0.05352 116 82 28 6
1330 Please go over the side effects very, very carefully. 1.3448 0.05352 116 82 28 6
1331 It is implied that "no shirt no shoes no service" includes pants. 1.3448 0.05490 116 83 26 7
1332 Sorry Sir, but the bad news is one of the side effects of your medication is that you could become a horses ass. The good news is you won't be alone in this world. 1.3448 0.05490 116 83 26 7
1333 My wife said I’m half the man I used to be. Do you have anything for that? 1.3448 0.05352 116 82 28 6
1334 Sorry, no more refills on that one until mating season. 1.3448 0.05210 116 81 30 5
1335 It's a co-pay -- half for you, half for the horse. 1.3448 0.05064 116 80 32 4
1336 What kind of side effects? 1.3448 0.05757 116 85 22 9
1337 Well, it seems to me you're more than a little horse. 1.3448 0.04260 116 88 23 5
1338 Yes, these blue pills should improve your giddy up 1.3448 0.05352 116 82 28 6
1339 That's four pills twice a day. C'mon boy, let's see you count. 1.3448 0.06011 116 87 18 11
1340 I was merely referring to the size of the pill 1.3448 0.05210 116 81 30 5
1341 A lot of people have been coming in with hoarse throats. But yours was the easiest to figure out! 1.3448 0.05757 116 85 22 9
1342 The list of side effects is not necessarily exhaustive. 1.3448 0.05625 116 84 24 8
1343 I know you say you need this, but it really has to come from the horse’s mouth. 1.3448 0.05757 116 85 22 9
1344 Take one pill three times a day with hay. 1.3445 0.05124 119 83 31 5
1345 I see you’re already aware of the side affects 1.3445 0.05526 119 86 25 8
1346 Take two of these with hay. 1.3445 0.05262 119 84 29 6
1347 While using this medication, avoid grapefruit juice . . . and alfalfa. 1.3445 0.05395 119 85 27 7
1348 Well you do sound a little horse. 1.3445 0.05262 119 84 29 6
1349 Take two of these three times a day with a bucket of oats 1.3445 0.05526 119 86 25 8
1350 One dose and you’ll be off to the races. 1.3445 0.05124 119 83 31 5
1351 I'm sorry, but only your top half is covered. 1.3445 0.05262 119 84 29 6
1352 Oh, nothing. This is just the first prescription for “Athlete’s Hoof” I’ve ever seen. 1.3445 0.05526 119 86 25 8
1353 Be careful with the dosage. There's enough medication here to kill an entire horse. 1.3445 0.05395 119 85 27 7
1354 Sir, we are still waiting to get a call back from your veterinarian. 1.3445 0.05262 119 84 29 6
1355 If you notice any side effect, consult with your physician... or vet. 1.3445 0.05526 119 86 25 8
1356 It HAS been almost 4 hours. 1.3445 0.05124 119 83 31 5
1357 Do you also want a consultation with the on-duty veterinarian? 1.3445 0.05526 119 86 25 8
1358 Is my hoof and mouth disease meds ready? 1.3445 0.05124 119 83 31 5
1359 Do you have anything for the clop? 1.3445 0.05900 119 89 19 11
1360 Your other prescription is at the Vet's clinic . 1.3443 0.05043 122 85 32 5
1361 I'm sorry. I thought you wanted something for your hoarseness. 1.3443 0.04907 122 84 34 4
1362 Talk to your doctor if this is your first rodeo 1.3433 0.07535 67 49 13 5
1363 I'd suggest nothing faster than a trot for two weeks. 1.3421 0.04717 114 82 28 4
1364 Believe it or not, I really can't swallow horse pills. 1.3421 0.05407 114 81 27 6
1365 Do you have anything for the trots? 1.3421 0.05953 114 85 19 10
1366 It's a pre-existing condition. 1.3421 0.05112 114 79 31 4
1367 It’ll take care of your erectile disfunction. Hot to trot is another thing entirely. 1.3421 0.05687 114 83 23 8
1368 I threw in some throat lozenges because when you called and said that you were a little horse, well I just assumed..." 1.3421 0.05407 114 81 27 6
1369 Take this twice a day for horseness. 1.3421 0.05261 114 80 29 5
1370 I don’t know if that counts as a pre-existing condition 1.3421 0.05261 114 80 29 5
1371 No, these won't change your personality. 1.3421 0.05261 114 80 29 5
1372 Side effects include restless leg syndrome. 1.3421 0.05687 114 83 23 8
1373 This should clear up your hay fever. 1.3421 0.05407 114 81 27 6
1374 Can I get half off? 1.3421 0.05548 114 82 25 7
1375 Sorry, this only comes as a suppository. 1.3421 0.05687 114 83 23 8
1376 I see you have a bad case of the trots. 1.3421 0.05261 114 80 29 5
1377 Its a suppository sir, but I think you'll need a stable hand to insert it. 1.3421 0.05407 114 81 27 6
1378 ...and no bacchanalia for at least two weeks. 1.3421 0.05687 114 83 23 8
1379 I'm sure the glue on the label is synthetic. 1.3421 0.05687 114 83 23 8
1380 It's great for cholesterol, and the only known side effect is equine distemper. 1.3421 0.05687 114 83 23 8
1381 My tail’s fine. Do you have something for my mane? 1.3421 0.05112 114 79 31 4
1382 Go ahead, turn yourself into a giraffe. We'll still make the counter higher than you. 1.3421 0.05687 114 83 23 8
1383 This is the one but you will need a veterinarian to sign off on it as well. 1.3421 0.04957 114 78 33 3
1384 This should help relieve your hay fever but it may give you the trots. 1.3421 0.05548 114 82 25 7
1385 Side effects include, ‘Can be led to water, but can’t be made to drink’. 1.3421 0.05822 114 84 21 9
1386 I understand you're a little hoarse. 1.3421 0.05261 114 80 29 5
1387 He said 'healthy as a horse'? Yeah, this should help. 1.3421 0.05261 114 80 29 5
1388 The label clearly states there might be some side effects. 1.3419 0.05314 117 83 28 6
1389 I believe those penis enlargement pills I picked up my have had a slight side effect... 1.3419 0.05584 117 85 24 8
1390 So, you’ve got the trots... 1.3419 0.05584 117 85 24 8
1391 I'm guessing you already know about the side effects of this drug? 1.3417 0.05613 120 88 23 9
1392 No, it's the regular dose of Viagra. 1.3415 0.05753 123 92 20 11
1393 The head pharmacist said we can offer you a full refund. 1.3415 0.05269 123 88 28 7
1394 Sorry, but Centaurism was clearly listed as a potential side-effect righ after nausea and hair loss. 1.3391 0.05368 115 82 27 6
1395 Did you say the centaur for disease control? 1.3391 0.06037 115 87 17 11
1396 No sir, there is no cure for being an ass. 1.3391 0.05909 115 86 19 10
1397 Yes, that’s a known side effect, but our system shows that you declined counseling. 1.3391 0.04923 115 79 33 3
1398 I know you wanted to save money but you never know what's in those pills when you buy them from Mexico 1.3391 0.05224 115 81 29 5
1399 Nope, not a listed side effect . 1.3391 0.05778 115 85 21 9
1400 Whinny all you want, but there’s a $15 co-pay. 1.3391 0.04923 115 79 33 3
1401 I'm not sure I can get this refilled in time for the Derby. 1.3391 0.05508 115 83 25 7
1402 Yes, hallucinations are a side effect. 1.3391 0.05645 115 84 23 8
1403 I understand, sir, but it says right here: side effects may include dry mouth, nausea and horseness. 1.3391 0.05368 115 82 27 6
1404 No, that side effect is not listed... 1.3391 0.05224 115 81 29 5
1405 Oh, and these may end up giving you the trots. 1.3391 0.05645 115 84 23 8
1406 Do you have any pre-existing medical conditions? 1.3391 0.05368 115 82 27 6
1407 No sir, it just says this medicine is recommended to cure hoarseness. 1.3391 0.05368 115 82 27 6
1408 Take two with food. They might make you a little jumpy. 1.3391 0.05368 115 82 27 6
1409 What do you suggest for a charlie horse 1.3391 0.05224 115 81 29 5
1410 I'm not sure what to tell you -- this dose is strong enough to kill a horse." 1.3391 0.04923 115 79 33 3
1411 I'm afraid this Rx will not reverse the spell that made you into a Centaur. Try to find the Princess that kissed you as a frog! 1.3391 0.05224 115 81 29 5
1412 And then she called me a ‘horse’s ass’ and boom. 1.3391 0.05645 115 84 23 8
1413 I presume you are already familiar with the potential side effects. 1.3391 0.05778 115 85 21 9
1414 No sir, I cannot guarantee it will only grow the hair on your head. 1.3391 0.05224 115 81 29 5
1415 Has it lasted longer than four hours? 1.3391 0.05645 115 84 23 8
1416 I’m sorry, but your half assed drug insurance won’t cover this prescription. 1.3391 0.05508 115 83 25 7
1417 My wife has asked me to stop getting suppositories 1.3391 0.05909 115 86 19 10
1418 I am sorry, sir. The insurance covered only 50% of the prescription cost. 1.3391 0.05508 115 83 25 7
1419 It won't reverse the condition, but you'll definitely win the race. 1.3390 0.05138 118 83 30 5
1420 I'm surprised a stud like you needs these. 1.3363 0.05844 113 84 20 9
1421 You may need a hand with the suppositories. 1.3363 0.06108 113 86 16 11
1422 My doctor called in a prescription for Equine encephalitis. 1.3362 0.04889 116 88 22 6
1423 I'm guessing hoof and mouth disease. 1.3362 0.05329 116 83 27 6
1424 You were supposed to use the drive-up window. 1.3362 0.05468 116 84 25 7
1425 Sorry, that was insensitive of me. Please forget what I said about hay fever. 1.3362 0.05329 116 83 27 6
1426 I understand the practical problem, but only your doctor can change it from suppository to oral. 1.3362 0.05040 116 81 31 4
1427 Horse pills? I recommend half the dosage. 1.3333 0.05627 111 81 23 7
1428 Do I look like I am worried about the side effects! 1.3333 0.05771 111 82 21 8
1429 Well, it was listed as a side effect. 1.3333 0.05480 111 80 25 6
1430 I'm sorry, we're out of hoof sanitizer. 1.3333 0.05328 111 81 24 6
1431 Stop taking if you experience a gallop lasting more than four hours. 1.3333 0.05627 111 81 23 7
1432 These need to be taken with straw. 1.3333 0.05328 111 79 27 5
1433 No more Viagra for you, Stud. 1.3333 0.05374 123 90 25 8
1434 Are you sure you gave me the right medicine yesterday? 1.3333 0.05771 111 82 21 8
1435 Feel free to amble around the store while I fill this." 1.3333 0.05012 111 77 31 3
1436 So, tell me your pick in the Derby. 1.3333 0.05627 111 81 23 7
1437 Side effects are buck teeth and a mane 1.3333 0.05627 111 81 23 7
1438 Just hay, oats and water with these. No lasix, bute, or any other PEDs. And wear blinkers. 1.3333 0.05771 111 82 21 8
1439 You can safely take these and still run in the Kentucky Derby. 1.3333 0.05012 111 77 31 3
1440 I have a prescription from your doctor but I still need one from your veterinarian. 1.3333 0.05374 123 90 25 8
1441 Now this medication has to be taken anally, so you may need some help. 1.3333 0.05248 123 89 27 7
1442 Centaur Silver please. 1.3333 0.05771 111 82 21 8
1443 Are you sure you don't want the veterinarian pharmacy a few furlongs down the street? 1.3333 0.05627 111 81 23 7
1444 You should have a full head of hair in no time. 1.3333 0.05771 111 82 21 8
1445 And take these if you’re feeling a little hoarse. 1.3333 0.05480 111 80 25 6
1446 This is the the Health Center. You're looking for the Health Centaur. Happens all the time. 1.3333 0.06048 111 84 17 10
1447 So Voldemort did this to you? 1.3333 0.05771 111 82 21 8
1448 Your veterinarian has to cosign this prescription. 1.3333 0.05480 111 80 25 6
1449 Your voice sounds fine to me. 1.3333 0.05771 111 82 21 8
1450 Do I take it with oats? 1.3333 0.05237 114 81 28 5
1451 Careful, this drug can have an hallucinatory effect. 1.3333 0.05627 111 81 23 7
1452 You might have some trouble swallowing these." 1.3333 0.05627 111 81 23 7
1453 ...and be sure to wait at least two hours before any dressage. 1.3333 0.05911 111 83 19 9
1454 I've been really depressed since they told me I was lame. 1.3333 0.05383 114 82 26 6
1455 Sounds like a case of the trots. 1.3333 0.05237 114 81 28 5
1456 Oh, gosh no. Just a little hay fever. 1.3333 0.05627 111 81 23 7
1457 You should've read the list of side effects. 1.3333 0.05429 117 85 25 7
1458 This may make you drowsy, so don't pull any heavy equipment. 1.3333 0.05012 111 77 31 3
1459 Take one when you wake up in the morning and one before feeding time 1.3333 0.05172 111 78 29 4
1460 I can't fill this. It's from your vet, not your doctor. 1.3333 0.05771 111 82 21 8
1461 I need to tell you that these pills should be taken with a lot of water, but I know you'll do whatever you want. 1.3333 0.05800 114 85 20 9
1462 Just here for a refill, actually. 1.3304 0.05622 115 85 22 8
1463 Unfortunately, there really is no quick fix to being a horse's ass. 1.3304 0.05866 112 84 19 9
1464 This medication has only been animal-tested but the FDA hasn't approved it for humans. So you've gotta ask yourself: do I feel lucky? 1.3304 0.05289 112 80 27 5
1465 My apologies, sir. This dosage is for Minotaurs. 1.3304 0.04976 112 78 31 3
1466 I’m feeling a little horse. 1.3303 0.05383 109 78 26 5
1467 Look, it's just a suppository. You're a politician with a long reach, right? 1.3303 0.05837 109 81 20 8
1468 I'm sure sorry. When the side effects said, "May cause patient to become a little horse," I thought... 1.3303 0.05837 109 81 20 8
1469 These should clear up your case of the trots." 1.3303 0.05538 109 79 24 6
1470 My wife tells me I am a horses ass! Do you have a medication for that? 1.3273 0.05792 110 82 20 8
1471 You say it started as a boil on your ass? 1.3273 0.05792 110 82 20 8
1472 It's for a different kind of dysfunction. 1.3271 0.05599 107 78 23 6
1473 You say you're feeling a little horse? 1.3271 0.05599 107 78 23 6
1474 Well, the side effects did say you might feel a little horse. I guess it wasn't a typo. 1.3271 0.05599 107 78 23 6
1475 I'm afraid this is the only one not on the equestrian sport banned substances list. 1.3271 0.05439 107 77 25 5
1476 Yes, it is a hard pill to swallow. 1.3271 0.05439 107 77 25 5
1477 Yes. Alfalfa supplements are loaded with vitamin K and may lower your cholesterol. 1.3271 0.05754 107 79 21 7
1478 Don’t take this the wrong way, but one of the side effects is “peeing like a racehorse.” 1.3271 0.05439 107 77 25 5
1479 These will get you more stable, but you'll still be a little horse. 1.3271 0.06197 107 82 15 10
1480 I feel like a horses ass for not asking you last time I picked up this prescription, so tell me now “Are there any known side effects from this medication?” 1.3271 0.05905 107 80 19 8
1481 Just take two of these with oats before bedtime and keep it to an easy gallop for the next week. 1.3271 0.05599 107 78 23 6
1482 Any questions about your hay fever medication? 1.3271 0.05754 107 79 21 7
1483 3 pills twice daily, and you'll be under the saddle again in no time... 1.3271 0.05905 107 80 19 8
1484 When I switched parties I didn’t anticipate this happening 1.3271 0.05439 107 77 25 5
1485 It says it should help with your hoarseness, but nothing about the spontaneous snorting. 1.3271 0.04929 107 79 23 5
1486 I think we'll change the script to oral administration. 1.3271 0.05274 107 76 27 4
1487 Take this and you'll be the centaur of attention." 1.3271 0.05754 107 79 21 7
1488 we best report this to the FDA" 1.3271 0.05599 107 78 23 6
1489 there are some side effects 1.3271 0.05439 107 77 25 5
1490 Insurance only covers 60 percent. 1.3271 0.05599 107 78 23 6
1491 Further this one will protect you from growing wings. 1.3271 0.05274 107 78 24 5
1492 I need something for a hoarse throat. 1.3271 0.05599 107 78 23 6
1493 You'll need some help administering since it's a suppository. 1.3271 0.05104 107 75 29 3
1494 Yes, sir. A carriage does count as heavy machinery. 1.3271 0.05439 107 77 25 5
1495 It says you can't operate heavy machinery. Do you have someone to give you a ride? 1.3271 0.05439 107 77 25 5
1496 Now, I can give you these pills, but I can't make you take them. 1.3271 0.05439 107 77 25 5
1497 I think I'm at the tail end of this thing. 1.3271 0.05439 107 77 25 5
1498 Actually, it's my throat this time. 1.3243 0.05454 111 81 24 6
1499 These will be difficult to swallow 1.3243 0.05454 111 81 24 6
1500 Two of these should restore your giddy-up and go 1.3241 0.05555 108 79 23 6
1501 Date of birth, 620 BCE? 1.3241 0.05397 108 78 25 5
1502 This is what your doctor prescribed for stable angina. 1.3241 0.05858 108 81 19 8
1503 Do any of your current medications have side effects? 1.3241 0.05555 108 79 23 6
1504 And be careful operating machinery. 1.3241 0.05397 108 78 25 5
1505 You should get this filled at Chewy. 1.3238 0.05496 105 76 24 5
1506 But the warning only read possible rash or shortness of breath. 1.3238 0.05820 105 78 20 7
1507 The same person who grooms your tail could help you with the suppositories. 1.3238 0.05152 105 74 28 3
1508 You'll have to go to the vet for the other prescription. 1.3238 0.05661 105 77 22 6
1509 Sir, this requires a sign off from your doctor AND your veterinarian. 1.3238 0.05496 105 76 24 5
1510 Some patients experience unexplained weight gain. 1.3238 0.05820 105 78 20 7
1511 These will help you sleep, but you'll remain standing. 1.3238 0.05496 105 76 24 5
1512 May cause dizziness. Take care when circling the paddock. 1.3238 0.05327 105 75 26 4
1513 Which HMO plan are you with? Gryffindor, Slytherin, Ravenclaw or Hufflepuff? 1.3238 0.05820 105 78 20 7
1514 Well it does say some side effects may occur. 1.3238 0.05496 105 76 24 5
1515 So...this should take care of the hay fever! 1.3238 0.05820 105 78 20 7
1516 And the second half of your prescription is ready for you at the vet. 1.3238 0.05661 105 77 22 6
1517 Yes, but unlike you, Mr. Steed, the insurance policy is useless without the rider." 1.3238 0.05820 105 78 20 7
1518 Your meds did say there was the possibility of a side-effect. 1.3238 0.05661 105 77 22 6
1519 These lozenges should help your horseness. 1.3238 0.05661 105 77 22 6
1520 There seems to have been a mixup with your quinine pill refills. 1.3238 0.05820 105 78 20 7
1521 You don't think I'd get off of my high horse if I could? 1.3238 0.05661 105 77 22 6
1522 Let's try a different prescription this time 1.3238 0.05496 105 76 24 5
1523 So you're feeling a little different than usual? 1.3238 0.05661 105 77 22 6
1524 I can help with the cough, but not the hoarse voice. 1.3238 0.05661 105 77 22 6
1525 I can never swallow those horse pills. 1.3238 0.05327 105 75 26 4
1526 I am afraid we don't carry that prescription here. Have you tried Petco? 1.3238 0.05661 105 77 22 6
1527 A long tube of Preparation H please. 1.3238 0.05975 105 79 18 8
1528 Sir, this prescription is for a hoarse throat, not a horse body. 1.3238 0.06127 105 80 16 9
1529 It was smart to choose this over a shot. 1.3238 0.05661 105 77 22 6
1530 Apparently the side effects did cause you to be a little horse. 1.3238 0.05661 105 77 22 6
1531 Look, you're gonna need prior approval from your veterinarian if you want me to up the dosage 1.3238 0.05975 105 79 18 8
1532 I did not call YOU a horse's ass. But sir, these ARE suppositories. 1.3238 0.05975 105 79 18 8
1533 I warned you about horsing around with the dosage . 1.3238 0.05496 105 76 24 5
1534 Do you prefer the horse pill or regular size? 1.3238 0.05327 105 75 26 4
1535 So, no side effects you say? 1.3238 0.05661 105 77 22 6
1536 Well, hoarseness is a common side-effect. But what you're experiencing is far more rare. 1.3238 0.06127 105 80 16 9
1537 Take two now and call your vet in the morning. 1.3238 0.05820 105 78 20 7
1538 No, I’m sorry. That isn’t listed as one the of side effects. 1.3238 0.05661 105 77 22 6
1539 I'll be honest, I have no idea what your dosage should be. 1.3238 0.05496 105 76 24 5
1540 I am sorry, you’re insurance will not cover an act of God or an act of gods 1.3238 0.05820 105 78 20 7
1541 I am allowed to treat the head cold, but not the athlete's foot. 1.3238 0.05327 105 75 26 4
1542 Side effect? Looks like a pre-existing condition to me. 1.3238 0.05975 105 79 18 8
1543 Last week you gave me horse pills and I'd like a refund. 1.3238 0.05975 105 79 18 8
1544 This will help keep your coat shiny. 1.3238 0.05496 105 76 24 5
1545 This may give your urine a grassy odor. 1.3238 0.05327 105 75 26 4
1546 Wash your hands frequently and stay away from Santa Anita. 1.3238 0.05152 105 74 28 3
1547 Insurance will only authorize half of the prescribed amount. 1.3238 0.05327 105 75 26 4
1548 Ha, like I've never heard the 'I'm a little hoarse' joke before... 1.3238 0.05975 105 79 18 8
1549 Yours is the most advanced case of hoof and mouth disease I've seen yet. 1.3238 0.05496 105 76 24 5
1550 Sorry, your insurance doesn’t include pre existing conditions. 1.3238 0.05496 105 76 24 5
1551 Can I drink alcohol on this medication? 1.3238 0.05975 105 79 18 8
1552 No, there are no other known side effects. Why do you ask? 1.3238 0.05152 105 74 28 3
1553 I was skeptical at first too, but medicare for all really meant all! 1.3238 0.04972 105 73 30 2
1554 Well, sir, we did offer a pharmacist to talk to you about the side effects. 1.3238 0.05327 105 75 26 4
1555 In no time at all, you'll be feeling your oats 1.3238 0.05661 105 77 22 6
1556 My friend, the centaur, suggested I see you. 1.3238 0.05661 105 77 22 6
1557 Of course it's a horse pill, what did you expect? 1.3238 0.05661 105 77 22 6
1558 Apparently we need to go over side effects. 1.3238 0.05152 105 74 28 3
1559 One from your vet and one from your shrink. 1.3238 0.06274 105 81 14 10
1560 Take two with hay every 4 hours. 1.3238 0.05975 105 79 18 8
1561 It’s Hydracodone. Tell Dionysius: no wine for you. 1.3238 0.05496 105 76 24 5
1562 I don't have a cold. I'm just a little hoarse. 1.3238 0.05820 105 78 20 7
1563 Asking for a friend..... 1.3238 0.05820 105 78 20 7
1564 Lets see....here it is...half-ass pills for Mr. Nice. 1.3238 0.05820 105 78 20 7
1565 Fortunately, your prescription comes in the dual species variety. 1.3238 0.06127 105 80 16 9
1566 This will handle your tinnitus, but you'll have to see a vet about the restless leg syndrome. 1.3238 0.05820 105 78 20 7
1567 The veterinarian's office is the next door down, sir 1.3238 0.05661 105 77 22 6
1568 This will be very effective for you. Not only will it treat your sore throat, but a side effect is to put a beautiful sheen on you coat. 1.3238 0.05975 105 79 18 8
1569 Nope, no on has natural immunity to equine encephalitis. 1.3238 0.05327 105 75 26 4
1570 If this does not reduce the urge to nicker, call your doctor immediately. 1.3238 0.05820 105 78 20 7
1571 It's not one of the side effects listed here... 1.3238 0.05820 105 78 20 7
1572 Side effects may include a hitch in your giddyup. 1.3238 0.05820 105 78 20 7
1573 Yes these will return you to normal, but no you can not keep the "horse hung" part. 1.3238 0.05496 105 76 24 5
1574 As I mentioned, baldness is a side effect. 1.3238 0.06127 105 80 16 9
1575 Put two of these in an apple every morning until they are all gone. 1.3238 0.05661 105 77 22 6
1576 I heard hooves and thought zebra. 1.3238 0.05820 105 78 20 7
1577 Yes that is a side effect. 1.3238 0.05661 105 77 22 6
1578 One side effect is that it may feel like your heart is galloping 1.3238 0.06127 105 80 16 9
1579 Marcy, price check on Trojans. 1.3238 0.05975 105 79 18 8
1580 Yes. a side effect of medication for equine fever is your head looks human. 1.3238 0.05975 105 79 18 8
1581 Most patients tolerate the side effects with equine-imity. 1.3238 0.05820 105 78 20 7
1582 This isn't a side effect I anticipated. 1.3238 0.05975 105 79 18 8
1583 OK I’ll fill your Rx — but you must clean up that mess you left in aisle four. 1.3238 0.05496 105 76 24 5
1584 Sorry, did I forget to mention the side effects? 1.3238 0.05820 105 78 20 7
1585 I thought you said this stuff would grow hair. 1.3238 0.05327 105 75 26 4
1586 I think you gave me equine vitamins by mistake. 1.3238 0.05327 105 75 26 4
1587 Actually sir, these ARE horse pills. 1.3238 0.05152 105 74 28 3
1588 This probably won’t come as a surprise, but your insurance only covers half. 1.3238 0.04784 105 72 32 1
1589 Until we can restock hoof wipes, limit your interactions to fetlock bumps. 1.3238 0.05975 105 79 18 8
1590 Sir, it clearly states on the label that the most common side effect is temporary hoarseness. 1.3238 0.05975 105 79 18 8
1591 Please, these are nothing. You should see our gorilla pills. 1.3238 0.05820 105 78 20 7
1592 Sorry, we are out of hoarse lozenges. 1.3214 0.03032 112 87 22 3
1593 This will get rid of your anxiety swings, but it won't do anything about your feeling like a horse's ass. 1.3211 0.05355 109 79 25 5
1594 I'm sorry but that's all your vet prescribed 1.3211 0.05664 109 81 21 7
1595 I'm sorry sir. This prescription needs to be signed by both your physician AND your vet. 1.3208 0.05615 106 78 22 6
1596 I'm here to pick-up my prescription for hoof and mouth disease. 1.3208 0.05773 106 79 20 7
1597 It's clearly stated as a possible side affect on the product label. No one ever reads them 1.3204 0.05724 103 76 21 6
1598 Just say they are large. 'Hoarse pills' is an offensive term. 1.3204 0.05724 103 76 21 6
1599 Take 2 a day, and if you have any problems call a vet. 1.3204 0.05382 103 74 25 4
1600 You know, you might be able to get this cheaper at the feed store. 1.3204 0.05724 103 76 21 6
1601 It's fine, I'm just saying it wasn't listed as a potential side effect. 1.3204 0.05724 103 76 21 6
1602 Your best bet’s that Farmacy in Louisville. 1.3204 0.05888 103 77 19 7
1603 Got anything for a hoarse throat ? 1.3204 0.05724 103 76 21 6
1604 These should be taken while grazing. 1.3204 0.05202 103 73 27 3
1605 I've been a little hoarse lately. 1.3204 0.04620 103 78 22 3
1606 You understand this is a suppository, right? 1.3204 0.05382 103 74 25 4
1607 The label said the side effects include "feeling a little horse." I suppose I should have been more clear over the phone. 1.3204 0.05724 103 76 21 6
1608 I can fill the first part but you will have to get the rest from the vets. 1.3204 0.05382 103 74 25 4
1609 I don’t care what your vet says. 1.3204 0.05202 103 78 19 6
1610 It's considerably less expensive if you buy it from your vet. 1.3204 0.05382 103 74 25 4
1611 I’m sorry, but we no longer carry Sloan’s Liniment. You might check the Feed Store down the street. 1.3204 0.05556 103 75 23 5
1612 Yes, it is contagious! Back up and quarantine yourself in the barn. 1.3204 0.05556 103 75 23 5
1613 And if you have any adverse reactions, contact your vet immediately. 1.3204 0.05888 103 77 19 7
1614 Just give me a minotaur two. 1.3204 0.05888 103 77 19 7
1615 This prescription isn't covered so you'll have to pony up the difference. 1.3204 0.05202 103 73 27 3
1616 Stamp your hoof to tell me how old you are. 1.3204 0.05724 103 76 21 6
1617 Centrum for Centaurs is in aisle three. 1.3204 0.05888 103 77 19 7
1618 I truly am sorry about the long wait, but you don’t have to be a horse’s ass about it. 1.3204 0.05888 103 77 19 7
1619 Ah, yes, this has some backside effects. 1.3204 0.05724 103 76 21 6
1620 Part horse or not, you can't get Lasix without a prescription! 1.3204 0.04188 103 81 18 4
1621 Keep taking it orally but it may make you a little hoarse. 1.3204 0.05109 103 75 24 4
1622 I think we can skip the discussion about potential side effects this time. 1.3204 0.05015 103 72 29 2
1623 Well the side effects could leave you a little hoarse but...wait a second you took these orally, right? 1.3204 0.05724 103 76 21 6
1624 Well, it’s right here on the label, Sir, may cause horseness. 1.3204 0.05556 103 75 23 5
1625 Be sure to call your doctor right away if this gives you the trots. 1.3204 0.05556 103 75 23 5
1626 It does say one of the side effects is a bad case of the trots. 1.3204 0.05888 103 77 19 7
1627 This will keep the hoarseness out of your throat. 1.3204 0.06048 103 78 17 8
1628 Side effects are common.... I wouldn't worry about it. 1.3204 0.05888 103 77 19 7
1629 So, this is for when you’re hoarse, not when you’re horse. 1.3204 0.05888 103 77 19 7
1630 On the bright side, your quarantine has been lifted. 1.3204 0.05556 103 75 23 5
1631 Take the Lipitor twice daily and the blood thinner only on race days. 1.3204 0.05202 103 73 27 3
1632 We make them smaller now , so you don't have to call them "horse pills". 1.3204 0.05382 103 74 25 4
1633 Well, lets put it this way, if you win the Kentucky Derby you could probably afford the antidote. 1.3204 0.05556 103 75 23 5
1634 No, Sir, we call them horse pills because of their size. 1.3204 0.05382 103 74 25 4
1635 If you still feel the urge to gallop, reduce the dosage in half. 1.3204 0.05556 103 75 23 5
1636 On second thought, I don't think I will fill this Viagra prescription 1.3204 0.05382 103 74 25 4
1637 So, your wife has saddle sores? 1.3204 0.05202 103 73 27 3
1638 These pills ought to help with the horseness. 1.3204 0.05556 103 75 23 5
1639 Fine print or not, that is a listed side effect. 1.3204 0.06355 103 80 13 10
1640 Take two twice a day with plenty of hay. 1.3204 0.05724 103 76 21 6
1641 Does the medication for hemorrhoids come with a long handle? 1.3204 0.05888 103 77 19 7
1642 I’ll need a co-sign from your farrier. 1.3204 0.05015 103 72 29 2
1643 This is the worse charlie horse I've ever experienced. 1.3204 0.05556 103 75 23 5
1644 Sorry, but looks like yours is the only pre-existing condition NOT covered under Obamacare 1.3204 0.06048 103 78 17 8
1645 Actually, my throat is fine: it’s the rest of me that’s the problem. 1.3204 0.06048 103 78 17 8
1646 Yes, some of our patients complain that these look like horse pills, but I thought you wouldn't mind. 1.3204 0.05015 103 72 29 2
1647 No, it goes in the problem end. 1.3204 0.06048 103 78 17 8
1648 There are several over-the-counter options if you're a little horse. 1.3204 0.05888 103 77 19 7
1649 It says right here, "Side effects include horseness". 1.3204 0.05556 103 75 23 5
1650 If your erection lasts longer than four hours, please give me a call. 1.3204 0.05556 103 75 23 5
1651 I’m sorry sir, we can’t list all the side effects. 1.3204 0.05382 103 74 25 4
1652 Put one capsule in feedbag daily for your hoarseness 1.3204 0.04822 103 75 25 3
1653 Are you sure your doctor understood you correctly when you told him you were horse? 1.3204 0.05888 103 77 19 7
1654 Have you got this in a liquid? I can’t swallow these horse pills. 1.3204 0.05382 103 78 19 6
1655 You don't need a prescription for hoof-in-mouth disease, sir. I recommend that you just get out politics 1.3204 0.06048 103 78 17 8
1656 This is good for a horse throat. 1.3204 0.06355 103 80 13 10
1657 Pardon my cough. I'm just a little horse. 1.3204 0.05382 103 74 25 4
1658 Do you have any more targeted to male pattern baldness? 1.3204 0.06048 103 78 17 8
1659 Take the red one for your upper half, and the little blue pill for the rest of you. 1.3204 0.05556 103 75 23 5
1660 Centaurum silver—it’ll make a man out of you. 1.3204 0.05888 103 77 19 7
1661 I am sorry your insurance doesn't cover hoof and mouth disease. 1.3204 0.05382 103 74 25 4
1662 At least you don't have coronavirus! 1.3204 0.05888 103 77 19 7
1663 We don't have anything smaller; it's the horse pills or nothing, I'm afraid. 1.3204 0.05888 103 77 19 7
1664 Okay...the horse tranquilizers make a lot more sense now.” 1.3204 0.05724 103 76 21 6
1665 Sorry, I thought you said it was just your throat that was horse. 1.3204 0.05724 103 76 21 6
1666 I told you they might make you a little horse. 1.3200 0.05483 100 72 24 4
1667 Sorry, everything we have is on the shelf with the other condoms. 1.3182 0.06048 110 85 15 10
1668 Technically you have athlete’s feet and yes that’s more expensive. 1.3173 0.05339 104 75 25 4
1669 Any side effects? No, why 1.3173 0.05840 104 78 19 7
1670 Oh.....You said you were a little horse. 1.3173 0.04976 104 73 29 2
1671 How am I going to take an oatmeal bath when the oats are SO delicious? 1.3173 0.05997 104 79 17 8
1672 Has my hoof and mouth vaccine arrived yet? 1.3173 0.05840 104 78 19 7
1673 Sir, I can only help if you're feeling "hoarse", not "horse". 1.3173 0.05840 104 78 19 7
1674 Is this the new “neigh”borhood pharmacy? 1.3173 0.05677 104 77 21 6
1675 It looks like your insurance only covers the human 1/2 of this medicine 1.3173 0.05840 104 78 19 7
1676 I just called the C.D.C. for a recommendation. Got it from the horse's mouth. 1.3168 0.05617 101 74 22 5
1677 Please don't horse around 1.3168 0.05617 101 74 22 5
1678 Well, that's the last time I refuse pharmacist counseling. 1.3168 0.06123 101 77 16 8
1679 Since you are over 50, Mr. Jones, you should be taking Centaurum Silver. 1.3168 0.06123 101 77 16 8
1680 This will lower your cholesterol. I can't do anything about the fact that you are a little hoarse. 1.3168 0.05959 101 76 18 7
1681 ...also, wilting withers and squaring of teeth. 1.3168 0.05437 101 73 24 4
1682 Sir, I think you'll find that our policy guarantees equal treatment, not equine treatment. 1.3168 0.05790 101 75 20 6
1683 Although rare, apparently that is one of the side effects. 1.3168 0.05060 101 73 25 3
1684 Your stallion days may be over, but these otta please the ol' grey mare 1.3168 0.05060 101 71 28 2
1685 This may tend to give you the trots. 1.3168 0.05346 101 77 18 6
1686 You have a hay allergy? Good luck with that. 1.3168 0.05617 101 74 22 5
1687 These are good for mane loss. 1.3168 0.05437 101 73 24 4
1688 Oh, stop horsing around ed! 1.3168 0.05252 101 74 23 4
1689 A dose of this stuff can put down a horse. It should definitely help with your insomnia. 1.3168 0.05617 101 74 22 5
1690 I don’t mind if it’s been tested on animals. 1.3168 0.05060 101 71 28 2
1691 Just tell the Minotaur he needs to get his own prescription. 1.3168 0.05959 101 76 18 7
1692 Sorry, I can’t tell if single payer is a myth. 1.3168 0.05252 101 72 26 3
1693 This prescription requires dual approval. Your MD approved but I am waiting for a call from your veterinarian. 1.3168 0.05252 101 72 26 3
1694 I’m sorry sir, but I did tell you that one of the side effects of this medication might be to make you a little horse. 1.3168 0.06282 101 78 14 9
1695 But the listed side effects do include 'hoarseness'" 1.3168 0.06123 101 77 16 8
1696 On the other hand, you won’t be needing the athlete’s foot cream. 1.3168 0.05959 101 76 18 7
1697 Well. I don't see many pharmacists of color, but I certainly wouldn't call them "mythical." 1.3168 0.05790 101 75 20 6
1698 Do you want the equine dosage? 1.3168 0.05617 101 74 22 5
1699 You should probably ask your primary care physician about side effects. 1.3168 0.05617 101 74 22 5
1700 Hmm.. I see a prescription from your Dr, but not from your Vet 1.3168 0.05437 101 73 24 4
1701 My better half has Hay Fever. 1.3168 0.05437 101 73 24 4
1702 Yes, its a pre-existing condition! 1.3168 0.05437 101 73 24 4
1703 Oh no, sir, that's not how herd immunity works. 1.3168 0.05617 101 74 22 5
1704 Your insurance doesn't cover preexisting conditions. 1.3168 0.05617 101 74 22 5
1705 You might not be getting enough fiber. 1.3168 0.05617 101 74 22 5
1706 And please remember that the barn is not a suitable place to store your medications. 1.3168 0.05437 101 73 24 4
1707 All out of chewables. You want the horse pills or suppositories? 1.3168 0.05790 101 75 20 6
1708 Yes, the male enhancement drug does come with side effects, but we’ve had no complaints 1.3168 0.05252 101 72 26 3
1709 On the plus side, it should cure your hay allergy. 1.3168 0.05437 101 73 24 4
1710 No sir, any side effects of this medication will be FAR less than the side effects you are experiencing now. 1.3168 0.05252 101 72 26 3
1711 Yes, the generic name of your condition is “Charlie Horse.” 1.3168 0.05617 101 74 22 5
1712 There's no pill for that condition but I'm told any associated stress is greatly eased by oats and carrots. 1.3168 0.05617 101 74 22 5
1713 Oh, your throat was a little hoarse, I see. 1.3168 0.05790 101 75 20 6
1714 Sir, As a health care professional I can assure you that your symptoms indicate something of much greater concern than a case of "the trots"! 1.3168 0.05437 101 73 24 4
1715 I'm afraid not. 1.3168 0.05617 101 74 22 5
1716 My last prescription caused certain side effects. 1.3168 0.06123 101 77 16 8
1717 Just to clarify, is this for the Runs or Trots? 1.3168 0.05959 101 76 18 7
1718 Oh no, not those horse pills again. 1.3168 0.05959 101 76 18 7
1719 You wanted Medicare for All. It's here. 1.3168 0.05252 101 72 26 3
1720 It looks like you are starting your Democrat Conversion Therapy 1.3168 0.05959 101 76 18 7
1721 Clearly you are more than a little horse! 1.3168 0.05617 101 74 22 5
1722 Yeah, hay fever is a bit of a complicated issue for me. 1.3168 0.05790 101 75 20 6
1723 Like a stallion? 1.3168 0.05437 101 73 24 4
1724 Rub this on your man parts. 1.3168 0.05617 101 74 22 5
1725 And how did that make you feel?\\ I told you there were side effects. As it turns out, you have rear effects as well. 1.3168 0.06123 101 77 16 8
1726 "Well, there is a warning about driving." 1.3168 0.05437 101 73 24 4
1727 Side effects can include sore throat and horseness. 1.3168 0.05617 101 74 22 5
1728 Take one with hay. 1.3168 0.05437 101 73 24 4
1729 Are you a Centauriun Card-holder? 1.3168 0.05790 101 75 20 6
1730 Sorry, sir, we don't have a pill for being a horse's ass 1.3153 0.05721 111 84 19 8
1731 One side effect is that your throat may feel a bit hoarse 1.3143 0.04938 105 74 29 2
1732 Yes, this should help with your hoof-and-mouth, but I’m sorry – no pants, no service. 1.3137 0.05742 102 76 20 6
1733 Well I'm just a pharmacy tech, but yes, I'd say this falls under "contact your doctor immediately." 1.3137 0.05570 102 75 22 5
1734 You should’ve asked, sir. The generic tablet would’ve been good enough if you only wanted to perform like one.” 1.3137 0.05570 102 75 22 5
1735 And remember a handful of sugar cubes make the medicine go down. 1.3137 0.05020 102 72 28 2
1736 Is there someone at home to help with a suppository? 1.3137 0.05908 102 77 18 7
1737 A little hoarse? This should help. 1.3137 0.05570 102 75 22 5
1738 the label says it will turn you into a stud in the bedroom 1.3137 0.05742 102 76 20 6
1739 This should clear up the pain the neck, but you’ll need to see the vet for the pain in the ass. 1.3137 0.05393 102 74 24 4
1740 These should help your indigestion, but you're going to have to lay off the hay and oats. 1.3137 0.05393 102 74 24 4
1741 It's probably just a little hay fever. 1.3137 0.05393 102 74 24 4
1742 I hope you have a trusted friend . . . this medication only comes as a suppository 1.3137 0.05393 102 74 24 4
1743 You're in luck. These capsules are only sized as horse pills. 1.3137 0.05393 102 74 24 4
1744 Well, yes, having the trots is one possible side effect. 1.3137 0.05393 102 74 24 4
1745 Viagra? Really? 1.3137 0.05393 102 74 24 4
1746 Do you have something that helps when you feel like a horse's ass? 1.3137 0.05908 102 77 18 7
1747 Your insurance doesn't cover this. It's considered experimental. 1.3137 0.05570 102 75 22 5
1748 Take one tablet for indigestion. Take ten tablets for diarrhea. 1.3137 0.05908 102 77 18 7
1749 No, I haven’t watched ‘The Pharmacist’. Have you watched ‘Narnia’?” 1.3134 0.07729 67 52 9 6
1750 These suppositories are a pain in the ass. 1.3131 0.05858 99 74 19 6
1751 It’s rare, but it is one of the printed side effects. 1.3131 0.05495 99 72 23 4
1752 Rest for a week and strictly no galloping 1.3131 0.06031 99 75 17 7
1753 Yes indeed, shouting can make you a little hoarse. However......... 1.3131 0.05679 99 73 21 5
1754 Date of birth... A Sagittarius, huh? 1.3131 0.05858 99 74 19 6
1755 You were warned there were side effects, sir. Though this is the most extreme case of the trots I've ever seen. 1.3131 0.04900 99 73 23 3
1756 No hay for the next 48 hours. 1.3131 0.05206 99 73 22 4
1757 Sorry sir, this is only good for a hoarse throat. 1.3131 0.05304 99 71 25 3
1758 Mr. Centaur your stable medicine for hoof & mouth disease is ready. 1.3131 0.06364 99 77 13 9
1759 It’s spelled S-T-E-E-D-M-A-N. 1.3131 0.05495 99 72 23 4
1760 No horsing around at the counter, sir. 1.3131 0.05858 99 74 19 6
1761 If you hadn't refused the pharmacist consultation, you would've known this was a possible side-effect. 1.3131 0.05679 99 73 21 5
1762 Careful, these are hor...erm, they're large pills, so take with water. 1.3131 0.05495 99 72 23 4
1763 You have two prescriptions. One from the doctor and one from the vet. 1.3131 0.05679 99 73 21 5
1764 Yes, you can trot, just avoid galloping speeds. 1.3131 0.06031 99 75 17 7
1765 We don't get much call for centaurietis. 1.3131 0.05679 99 73 21 5
1766 Yes, we do buy from a newer vender... 1.3131 0.05858 99 74 19 6
1767 Side effects may include the trots... 1.3131 0.05858 99 74 19 6
1768 I have much more energy but the side effects have become a problem 1.3131 0.05495 99 72 23 4
1769 Take with hay. 1.3131 0.05106 99 72 24 3
1770 I’m only a pharmacist. You need an anthropomorphist. 1.3131 0.06031 99 75 17 7
1771 The good news is it’s not a suppository. 1.3131 0.05304 99 71 25 3
1772 Well the side effects might give you the trots... 1.3131 0.05304 99 71 25 3
1773 'Mostly hoarse you say.' 1.3131 0.05679 99 73 21 5
1774 The recommended dose was two tablets daily but something tells me you’ve only taken half that. 1.3131 0.05495 99 72 23 4
1775 I'm sorry. I don't think we have any medicine for your particular bipolar condition. 1.3131 0.05495 99 72 23 4
1776 Yes sir, we double-checked. These pills treat the clop. 1.3131 0.05304 99 71 25 3
1777 My wife's forever riding my ass, too. 1.3131 0.05858 99 74 19 6
1778 I asked for medication to improve my gait not to change my way of life. 1.3131 0.06031 99 75 17 7
1779 As a trans-horse, I suggest you cancel all your "parade" activity since your bowel movements will now be large and uncontrolled. 1.3131 0.06031 99 75 17 7
1780 No, no, not satyriasis, centauriasis. 1.3131 0.06031 99 75 17 7
1781 Feeling a bit human. 1.3131 0.05858 99 74 19 6
1782 And avoid driving while taking this medication. 1.3131 0.05679 99 73 21 5
1783 It's right here on the list of common side effects... 1.3131 0.05679 99 73 21 5
1784 Exactly, how horse are you? 1.3131 0.05400 99 74 20 5
1785 I don't see it on the list of side effects. 1.3131 0.05495 99 72 23 4
1786 It's best to take with your morning oats 1.3131 0.06200 99 76 15 8
1787 Would it be possible to revisit our last conversation about side effects? 1.3131 0.05858 99 74 19 6
1788 Yes we fill veterinary prescriptions 1.3131 0.06031 99 75 17 7
1789 Yes, there are certain side effects to that medication. 1.3131 0.05304 99 71 25 3
1790 Well, they're called 'horse pills' for a reason. 1.3131 0.05858 99 74 19 6
1791 These might help, but you’ll still be a horse’s ass. 1.3131 0.05858 99 74 19 6
1792 One pill, three times a day, with food and a bucket of water. 1.3131 0.05679 99 73 21 5
1793 We have a cream you could try 1.3131 0.05495 99 72 23 4
1794 Sorry, you need to go to the Vet Administration. 1.3131 0.06031 99 75 17 7
1795 You've reached your deductible for doping. 1.3131 0.05304 99 71 25 3
1796 But I said these pills would turn you into a stallion. 1.3131 0.06200 99 76 15 8
1797 How long have you had the trots? 1.3131 0.05495 99 72 23 4
1798 can you just put in my file that I have a problem with suppositories? 1.3131 0.05858 99 74 19 6
1799 So, your Md. suggests you take 2 capsules twice a day with a full glass of water, and, your DVM wants you to take 4 capsules twice a day with a full bag of oats. Any questions? 1.3131 0.05858 99 74 19 6
1800 Take one pill twice a day with hay. 1.3131 0.05858 99 74 19 6
1801 Well, do you want the pills that change all of you into a horse, or those that change all of you into a lame excuse for a man ! 1.3131 0.05858 99 74 19 6
1802 Let me guess: need something for the short face? 1.3131 0.06031 99 75 17 7
1803 Left your wallet at home again? 1.3131 0.05858 99 74 19 6
1804 Take two pills with each bucket of oats. 1.3131 0.05679 99 73 21 5
1805 Appears you’ll need assistance for the suppository. 1.3131 0.05858 99 74 19 6
1806 The doctor said to take two of these and call your vet in the morning. 1.3131 0.05495 99 72 23 4
1807 Side effects may include drowsiness, loss of appetite, and inability to go from canter to gallop. 1.3131 0.05106 99 70 27 2
1808 is the veterinary generic cheaper? 1.3131 0.05495 99 72 23 4
1809 Of course you are hoarse! 1.3131 0.05679 99 73 21 5
1810 Your co-pay is three bags of oats. 1.3131 0.06200 99 76 15 8
1811 Sir, the side effects were outlined completely in the information accompanying the prescription. 1.3131 0.05679 99 73 21 5
1812 I'm sorry, sir, but the hind effects are clearly spelled out in the pamphlet. 1.3131 0.05495 99 72 23 4
1813 Do you have medicine for hoarseness? 1.3131 0.06031 99 75 17 7
1814 Listen, your physician and veterinarian need to work together on this. It's the right medication but very much the wrong size pill. 1.3131 0.06200 99 76 15 8
1815 Prescription for Mr. Ed 1.3131 0.05495 99 72 23 4
1816 Mr. Johnson, I can fill your proscription for your cholesterol medication, but you’ll have to go to your veterinarian for the other. 1.3131 0.06364 99 77 13 9
1817 I didn't say I had a scratchy voice- I said I had a horse throat! 1.3131 0.06031 99 75 17 7
1818 Yes, it's a weaker sort of Viagra. 1.3131 0.05679 99 73 21 5
1819 —yes, even the Magnum XL were too small. 1.3131 0.05858 99 74 19 6
1820 If taken of an empty stomach may result it dry hoofing. 1.3131 0.05304 99 71 25 3
1821 Sir, the carrots are on aisle 3. 1.3131 0.05858 99 74 19 6
1822 In summary, after calculating your co-pay and deductible: fuck you and the horse you rode in on. 1.3131 0.06200 99 76 15 8
1823 This should prevent more hair loss. 1.3131 0.05679 99 73 21 5
1824 I didn't mention the hair loss because it wasn't the most worrisome side effect! 1.3131 0.05679 99 73 21 5
1825 It does say “Side effects include hoarseness.” 1.3131 0.05106 99 70 27 2
1826 This is the best medication we have for hoof and mouth disease. 1.3131 0.05679 99 73 21 5
1827 Be sure to take three an hour before lining up at Pimlico. 1.3131 0.05304 99 71 25 3
1828 Take 2 pills a day after hay. 1.3131 0.06200 99 76 15 8
1829 I understand Sir, but that does not entitle you to a 50% discount. 1.3131 0.05495 99 72 23 4
1830 I stick the pill where? 1.3131 0.06031 99 75 17 7
1831 It’s just a myth that this will help you. 1.3131 0.05858 99 74 19 6
1832 Yeah, common misconception. I’m actually a Libra. 1.3131 0.05679 99 73 21 5
1833 Tap once for Keratin and twice for Rogaine. 1.3131 0.05495 99 72 23 4
1834 It's the Trump-enema, designed for a horse's ass. 1.3131 0.05679 99 73 21 5
1835 Just make sure to take this with Hay 1.3131 0.05679 99 73 21 5
1836 Your insurance said it won’t cover species-reassignment hormones. 1.3131 0.05858 99 74 19 6
1837 The label does say you might become a little hoarse 1.3131 0.05858 99 74 19 6
1838 We’re out of the tablet. It says here I can also fill as a suppository. 1.3131 0.05304 99 73 22 4
1839 Side effects are rare but you may get the trots. 1.3131 0.05858 99 74 19 6
1840 Take the one from your cardiologist with breakfast and the one from the vet with your evening oats. 1.3131 0.05679 99 73 21 5
1841 I take it your ‘horse sense’ told you there are side effects. 1.3131 0.05495 99 72 23 4
1842 Take one capsule twice a day for your hay fever symptoms. 1.3131 0.05858 99 74 19 6
1843 Liquid, please. I’ve decided to stop taking the horse pills. 1.3131 0.06031 99 75 17 7
1844 You know, you really don’t need these. You already are a stud. 1.3131 0.06031 99 75 17 7
1845 No pants, no prescriptions. 1.3131 0.06031 99 75 17 7
1846 Sorry- the other half of your prescription is at the vet. 1.3131 0.05858 99 74 19 6
1847 Here's your refill. Paw the ground twice if you understand the medical side effects." 1.3131 0.05679 99 73 21 5
1848 I'm sorry Mr. Steeplechase, but I don't find that as a side effect of any of your medications. 1.3131 0.06200 99 76 15 8
1849 Some patients have even reported growing human legs. 1.3131 0.05495 99 72 23 4
1850 I’m afraid the vet hasn’t called it in 1.3131 0.05495 99 72 23 4
1851 Sorry, no cure. Try writing "I'm a stud" on your dating app. 1.3131 0.05858 99 74 19 6
1852 Do I forward the refill request to your PCP or your Vet? 1.3131 0.05304 99 71 25 3
1853 May cause drowsiness. Careful when trotting. 1.3131 0.05679 99 73 21 5
1854 ``Remember, put something in your stomach, perhaps an apple or carrot, before ingesting.'' 1.3131 0.05495 99 72 23 4
1855 This particular side effect makes you more than just a horse’s ass. 1.3131 0.06200 99 76 15 8
1856 Why the long...oh, never mind. 1.3131 0.06364 99 77 13 9
1857 Says here to store in a cool, dark place and keep out of foal's reach. 1.3131 0.05858 99 74 19 6
1858 Well you should have read the side effects all the way to the end. 1.3131 0.04900 99 69 29 1
1859 Fine, I understand I can’t make you take them with water. 1.3131 0.05495 99 72 23 4
1860 Is my prescription ready? I'm running slow! 1.3131 0.06200 99 76 15 8
1861 I’m here for my horse pills. 1.3119 0.05164 109 79 26 4
1862 This medicine might give you the trots 1.3113 0.05899 106 81 17 8
1863 What brand of contraceptives do you carry ? 1.3107 0.06019 103 79 16 8
1864 You have a bad case of the trots 1.3107 0.05524 103 76 22 5
1865 This should help with the hay fever but you're just going to use your horse sense about how much to take. 1.3107 0.05349 103 75 24 4
1866 No pants, no service. 1.3100 0.05260 100 72 25 3
1867 You got anything for my Charlie horse? 1.3100 0.06308 100 78 13 9
1868 We have a call into your doctor and veterinarian to decide whether you should get the human or horse dose of this stuff. 1.3100 0.05808 100 75 19 6
1869 Take two of these and call me in a century. 1.3100 0.05631 100 74 21 5
1870 No, no unique inherited conditions. 1.3100 0.05808 100 75 19 6
1871 I feel a little hoarse! 1.3100 0.05631 100 74 21 5
1872 Look, I 'm telling you to take this water, but you're right, I can't make you do it. 1.3100 0.05631 100 74 21 5
1873 The office said you needed something for the trots? 1.3100 0.05631 100 74 21 5
1874 ...you can travel freely, just try to avoid theme parks and rodeos... 1.3100 0.04861 100 70 29 1
1875 Transgender medications, yes, Transmammal medications, no. 1.3100 0.05631 100 74 21 5
1876 Well, it is one possible side effect of Viagra. 1.3100 0.05631 100 74 21 5
1877 Hi. I'd like to speak with someone about the side effects of this presciption. 1.3100 0.05808 100 75 19 6
1878 ...and this one's for horseness. 1.3100 0.05979 100 76 17 7
1879 Psychosocial characteristics may physically present when mixed with alcohol. Do you, in fact, become a horse's ass when you drink? 1.3100 0.05808 100 75 19 6
1880 It’s a suppository. I hope that won’t be a problem. 1.3100 0.06466 100 79 11 10
1881 Has your vet ever prescribed these for you before? 1.3100 0.05260 100 72 25 3
1882 Take one every morning with plenty of hay. 1.3100 0.05449 100 73 23 4
1883 .“Take 2 capsules at the first sign of mythical then one every four hours until the crushing weight of existential reality returns.” 1.3100 0.05064 100 71 27 2
1884 You must be with the “centaurs for disease control” 1.3100 0.05979 100 76 17 7
1885 Not sure here Stu, says it's strong enough to kill a horse. 1.3100 0.05979 100 76 17 7
1886 The horse pill version is cheaper. 1.3100 0.05631 100 74 21 5
1887 We don’t serve your kind here. 1.3100 0.05631 100 74 21 5
1888 You'll have to take this prescription to your veterinarian 1.3100 0.05260 100 72 25 3
1889 I'm sorry, but you also need a referral from your veterinarian. 1.3100 0.05631 100 74 21 5
1890 Take one for a man or two for a horse. 1.3100 0.05260 100 72 25 3
1891 It says here it’s only for stallions. Do you mind? 1.3100 0.05631 100 74 21 5
1892 Do you have a prescription for Mr. Centaur? Asking for a friend. 1.3100 0.05631 100 74 21 5
1893 No, it’s a human pill for horses. 1.3100 0.05631 100 74 21 5
1894 If you can swallow your pride, this same medicine is much cheaper from a vet. 1.3100 0.05449 100 73 23 4
1895 Take this and you won't be the centaur of attention anymore. 1.3093 0.05554 97 71 22 4
1896 That is the most half-assed question I've ever heard. 1.3093 0.05928 97 73 18 6
1897 This can knock out a horse, so take only half the dose. 1.3093 0.05744 97 72 20 5
1898 No I'm not feeling 'horse', I'm here for my insulin. 1.3093 0.06106 97 74 16 7
1899 Same-o, same-o Mr. Tyler. ‘May cause trots blah, blah, blah’. 1.3093 0.06106 97 74 16 7
1900 This medication should cure your sore throat and horse voice. 1.3093 0.05357 97 70 24 3
1901 I'm feeling a little horse, Is my prescription ready? 1.3093 0.05928 97 73 18 6
1902 Take two of these an hour before each race, then call me so I can place a bet. 1.3093 0.05554 97 71 22 4
1903 Take these with plenty of water. They're real horse pills. 1.3093 0.05744 97 72 20 5
1904 You're lucky it was only a sprained knee. 1.3093 0.05744 97 72 20 5
1905 This will help with the long face. 1.3093 0.05744 97 72 20 5
1906 On the phone I thought you said "Senator" Johnson. No it's not ready. 1.3093 0.05554 97 71 22 4
1907 I think your doctor called in the wrong prescription. This is for a hoarse throat. 1.3093 0.05152 97 71 23 3
1908 Take one with a mouthful of oats twice a day. 1.3093 0.05152 97 69 26 2
1909 Take one pill twice a day with feedbag. 1.3093 0.05744 97 72 20 5
1910 You took it is a suppository, didn’t you? 1.3093 0.06106 97 74 16 7
1911 But sir I offered my guidance on the side effects 1.3093 0.05928 97 73 18 6
1912 Affordable care is a myth. This is going to cost you an arm and a foreleg. 1.3093 0.05554 97 71 22 4
1913 Good news- it's not coronavirus, you're just a little hoarse. 1.3093 0.05554 97 71 22 4
1914 I promise you, this new formulation will not cause any side effects. 1.3093 0.05928 97 73 18 6
1915 So,apart from the receding hair line,you're pleased with the results? 1.3093 0.05744 97 72 20 5
1916 If you experience any skittishness, you should 'whoa' immediately. 1.3093 0.05744 97 72 20 5
1917 I can’t give you a refund if you’ve already taken half. 1.3093 0.05744 97 72 20 5
1918 Take this with food or it's liable to give you the trots. 1.3093 0.05928 97 73 18 6
1919 Do you carry centaur silver for men 50 + ? 1.3093 0.05554 97 71 22 4
1920 I should clarify what I mean when I say a stable sleeping situation. 1.3093 0.05744 97 72 20 5
1921 Let your doctor know if this condition lasts longer than four hours. 1.3093 0.04940 97 74 19 4
1922 Equine or homo sapiens instructions? 1.3093 0.05357 97 70 24 3
1923 So did you take a full dose or only half? 1.3093 0.06106 97 74 16 7
1924 Do you need the stable compound? 1.3093 0.05744 97 72 20 5
1925 Now remember, it’s very important you only take a half dose. 1.3093 0.05554 97 71 22 4
1926 Don’t be a what?! 1.3093 0.05928 97 73 18 6
1927 This will cost you a couple bucks. 1.3093 0.06106 97 74 16 7
1928 I asked if you can treat someone who's kinda horse. 1.3093 0.05928 97 73 18 6
1929 It depends on what you mean by safe sex. 1.3093 0.05744 97 72 20 5
1930 You have anything for back pain? 1.3093 0.05554 97 71 22 4
1931 So you you finally felt comfortable enough to come out of the barn? 1.3093 0.06106 97 74 16 7
1932 I can only give you so many horse tranquilizers, Marvin. 1.3093 0.05357 97 70 24 3
1933 You’ll perform like a thoroughbred, but you’ll peter out after a mile and a quarter. 1.3093 0.05357 97 70 24 3
1934 For this prescription, I need to see your drivers license and health insurance card, Mr. Ed. 1.3093 0.05152 97 69 26 2
1935 . . .and this will help with your horseness 1.3093 0.05928 97 73 18 6
1936 You sound a bit hoarse. 1.3093 0.05744 97 72 20 5
1937 Once daily with food. And clean up the mess you left in Aisle 2. 1.3093 0.05357 97 70 24 3
1938 Ok Mr.Connelly, this is a very powerful drug. So I'm gonna ask you one more time: Have you experienced an side effects? 1.3093 0.05744 97 72 20 5
1939 Why are you acting like a horses ass because we are out of hand sanitizer? 1.3093 0.06106 97 74 16 7
1940 I have a few questions about side effects. 1.3093 0.05554 97 71 22 4
1941 Has your doctor already informed that you can't always be the centaur of attention? 1.3093 0.05744 97 72 20 5
1942 If the hind legs are still there in a week just double the dose. 1.3093 0.05928 97 73 18 6
1943 You realize this will not make you at one with yourself. 1.3093 0.05928 97 73 18 6
1944 2500 mg Viagra isn't covered. 1.3093 0.06106 97 74 16 7
1945 Don't get too close. I'm feeling a little horse. 1.3093 0.06106 97 74 16 7
1946 It says here your test results were mixed... 1.3093 0.05744 97 72 20 5
1947 Your side effects are a myth. 1.3093 0.05928 97 73 18 6
1948 Even mythical creatures aren't immune to high blood pressure these days. 1.3093 0.05744 97 72 20 5
1949 You missed your equine virus shot, didn't you? 1.3093 0.05744 97 72 20 5
1950 No, Mr. Jones, it's clearly right here on the side effect list. 1.3093 0.05744 97 72 20 5
1951 Really ?... you're concerned that this medication may give you acne? 1.3093 0.05357 97 70 24 3
1952 Remember, no galloping or cavorting for three hours after taking these! 1.3093 0.05744 97 72 20 5
1953 A word caution: these pills will give you the trots. 1.3093 0.05744 97 72 20 5
1954 Of course, all medicines have some side effects. 1.3093 0.05554 97 71 22 4
1955 Take half right before the fifth race at Belmont, and the rest just before 9 a.m. Monday at the office. 1.3093 0.05554 97 71 22 4
1956 And are you experiencing any unusual side effects? 1.3093 0.05357 97 70 24 3
1957 It plainly states that hoof and mouth disease is a common side effect 1.3093 0.05357 97 70 24 3
1958 Unfortunately, this medication is a suppository. So you might need some help taking it. 1.3093 0.05554 97 71 22 4
1959 I see you're only taking half doses? 1.3093 0.05744 97 72 20 5
1960 I'm afraid this medication must be prescribed by your veterinarian. 1.3093 0.05554 97 71 22 4
1961 You got something for hoof and mouth ? 1.3093 0.06106 97 74 16 7
1962 You tell your friend in there that the best way to cure the heat rash would be to get out of the costume. 1.3093 0.05744 97 72 20 5
1963 Yes, this is the new remedy for too hot to trot! 1.3093 0.06280 97 75 14 8
1964 Your 60/40 coinsurance plan is well suited for your situation. 1.3093 0.06106 97 74 16 7
1965 This medication is a diuretic, which means you'll be pissing like a racehorse for the next thirty days. 1.3093 0.05554 97 71 22 4
1966 Clearly stated on the insert as a possible side effect, sir. 1.3093 0.05554 97 71 22 4
1967 Erectile dysfunction? But sir, the back end of you appears to be female. 1.3093 0.06280 97 75 14 8
1968 You wanted to make yours the size of a horse’s. What’s the complaint? 1.3093 0.05152 97 69 26 2
1969 This only works if you're a little hoarse. 1.3093 0.05152 97 69 26 2
1970 Which part are we dosing for? 1.3093 0.05554 97 71 22 4
1971 I still can't give you horse Viagra. 1.3093 0.05357 97 70 24 3
1972 My best advice is to make sure you keep your hooves from touching your face. Unless of course you've stepped in some disinfectant beforehand." 1.3093 0.06280 97 75 14 8
1973 Yes, sir. That is a possible side effect. 1.3093 0.05554 97 71 22 4
1974 This should help with your depression, but you'll still be a horse's ass!" 1.3093 0.05744 97 72 20 5
1975 This is my last resort. My vet says she she’ll have to put me down if I can’t get a handle on this existential dread. 1.3093 0.05928 97 73 18 6
1976 You should report this side effect to the C.D.C. 1.3093 0.05744 97 72 20 5
1977 Other side effects include uncontrollable neighing, allergic reactions to oats and apples and defecating while walking. 1.3093 0.05928 97 73 18 6
1978 Very good, Mr. Sagitarrius, I see that you have gotten rid of the bow and arrow. And wearing a suit jacket is a nice touch. Take two of these at mealtime. In two weeks, you should be a biped again. 1.3093 0.05744 97 72 20 5
1979 Sorry, I thought you meant that you were a little hoarse. 1.3093 0.05744 97 72 20 5
1980 Did you ever read the side effects information I gave you? 1.3093 0.05928 97 73 18 6
1981 Sir, I understand it didn’t list horse’s ass as a side effect, but every med effects people a little differently... 1.3093 0.05357 97 70 24 3
1982 Side effects may include breaking the 400m world record 1.3093 0.05744 97 72 20 5
1983 I'm sorry sir, but I don't think your insurance covers centaurification. 1.3077 0.05810 104 79 18 7
1984 Are there any side-effects to the Hay Fever medicine? 1.3077 0.05810 104 79 18 7
1985 I said you need to 'center' yourself. 1.3069 0.05583 101 75 21 5
1986 When we tested this on horses, nobody noticed the side effects. 1.3069 0.05217 101 73 25 3
1987 As you know, Mr. Chiron, these pills will ease your sore throat, but do nothing for your hoarseness. 1.3069 0.05217 101 73 25 3
1988 Yes, we can make them smaller than horse pills. 1.3069 0.05403 101 74 23 4
1989 "You'll just have to get used to tbe horseness...this'll help with the cough." 1.3069 0.05583 101 75 21 5
1990 Wait 30 minutes after you take this to have oats. 1.3069 0.05927 101 77 17 7
1991 Sir, it’s plainly listed as a side effect. 1.3069 0.05403 101 74 23 4
1992 Steve, what did I tell you about getting a Coronavirus vaccine on the black market? 1.3069 0.05927 101 77 17 7
1993 Side effects? NOW you ask me? 1.3069 0.05023 101 72 27 2
1994 You're gonna have a lot of explaining to do to Seabiscuit... 1.3069 0.05583 101 75 21 5
1995 Don't exceed the dosage, or you'll get the trots. 1.3069 0.05583 101 75 21 5
1996 This should help your road apple problem, but until you stop being a horse's ass, there's not much more we can do. 1.3063 0.05399 111 83 22 6
1997 Take 2 pills every morning with a bag of oats. 1.3061 0.05311 98 71 24 3
1998 Yes, the medicine can sometime make you a little horse. 1.3061 0.05506 98 72 22 4
1999 If you take it in the morning, avoid dressage for four hours. 1.3061 0.05506 98 72 22 4
2000 I'm afraid we'll also need a veterinarian to sign for this. 1.3061 0.05876 98 74 18 6
2001 You also wont be able to run in the derby with this in your system 1.3061 0.05506 98 72 22 4
2002 If you have an erection that lasts over four hours, see your vet. 1.3061 0.05694 98 73 20 5
2003 Apparently your wife extended the prescription indefinitely, and it now includes a dozen roses with each refill. 1.3061 0.05311 98 71 24 3
2004 I thought you said that were hoarse. 1.3061 0.05506 98 72 22 4
2005 This is highly effective for treating a horse's ass. 1.3061 0.05876 98 76 15 7
2006 No, I get the horse pills. But the snake oil? 1.3061 0.05506 98 72 22 4
2007 Supposedly, this cures Horses Ass. 1.3061 0.05876 98 74 18 6
2008 Please cancel my prescription for Viagra. 1.3061 0.06866 98 80 6 12
2009 This medication needs to be taken with a meal...just don't eat like a horse. 1.3061 0.05876 98 74 18 6
2010 Um, there’s this thing where people see large pills and they call them ‘horse pills‘, but in your case... 1.3061 0.05876 98 74 18 6
2011 I see. And now this 'friend' is concerned about mule infertility. 1.3061 0.05876 98 74 18 6
2012 I don't appreciate being called "half-assed" by anyone least of all you. 1.3061 0.05694 98 73 20 5
2013 ‘Brand or Hybrid’? 1.3061 0.06052 98 75 16 7
2014 These may help but I still doubt you'll win the Kentucky Derby. 1.3061 0.05694 98 73 20 5
2015 It's listed right here, under side-effects--plain as day. 1.3061 0.05694 98 73 20 5
2016 Sir, we just told you five minutes ago, your prescription will be ready when it's ready. You're not the centaur of the universe. 1.3061 0.05694 98 73 20 5
2017 Appaloosa, Arabian, or Morgan? 1.3061 0.05506 98 72 22 4
2018 This is specifically for mane pattern baldness. It won't thicken your tail. 1.3061 0.05876 98 74 18 6
2019 Any questions about possible side effects? 1.3061 0.05311 98 71 24 3
2020 Aisle three. 1.3061 0.05876 98 74 18 6
2021 May cause blinders. 1.3061 0.05876 98 74 18 6
2022 I recommend only half a dose. 1.3061 0.05311 98 71 24 3
2023 Ah. My bad. I must’ve given you the ‘HORSE growth hormone’. 1.3061 0.05694 98 73 20 5
2024 I understand you're feeling a little horse, but you still need a prescription for this refill. 1.3061 0.05694 98 73 20 5
2025 You can't return a prescription medicine just because you are unhappy with the side effects. 1.3061 0.06052 98 75 16 7
2026 I assumed they meant "may cause hoarseness." 1.3061 0.05694 98 73 20 5
2027 And remember, do not operate heavy machinery or run the Kentucky Derby. 1.3061 0.05506 98 74 19 5
2028 It said on the packet I’d look like a Greek god. 1.3061 0.05876 98 74 18 6
2029 Ketamine will work for both. 1.3061 0.05694 98 73 20 5
2030 Do you have any questions for the pharmacist? 1.3061 0.05876 98 74 18 6
2031 I'm sorry but your insurance is not going to cover the device for administering the suppository 1.3061 0.05876 98 74 18 6
2032 It's for strep but does nothing if you're only a little horse 1.3061 0.05694 98 73 20 5
2033 It says they are going to have to put you down... 1.3061 0.06052 98 75 16 7
2034 Side effects may include, well, you know................ 1.3061 0.05694 98 73 20 5
2035 Any other options besides suppository ? 1.3061 0.05694 98 73 20 5
2036 For best results, take these twice daily with hay. 1.3061 0.05506 98 72 22 4
2037 I had a hard time deciphering your physician’s handwriting— it was half chicken scratch. 1.3061 0.05876 98 74 18 6
2038 Sorry, your wife called and requested not to fill this prescription, because she's worn out. 1.3061 0.05876 98 74 18 6
2039 You didn't read the fine print 1.3061 0.06052 98 75 16 7
2040 We did warn you not to take this medication on an empty stomach. 1.3053 0.05411 95 69 23 3
2041 Actually, the farmacy is next door 1.3053 0.05810 95 71 19 5
2042 Nothing faster than a slow trot until we know how this medication affects you. 1.3053 0.05200 95 68 25 2
2043 You should be irritable and violent again in no time. 1.3053 0.06362 95 74 13 8
2044 There’s a lot of hoof-and-mouth going around. 1.3039 0.05709 102 77 19 6
2045 Yesterday I was just a little horse”. 1.3039 0.04983 102 73 27 2
2046 Sorry, we only have 3 extra large knee pads in stock. 1.3039 0.05536 102 76 21 5
2047 Sorry, you'll have to have fill this at the Centaur for Disease Control. 1.3039 0.05709 102 77 19 6
2048 What do you mean by The Trots? 1.3039 0.05358 102 75 23 4
2049 Have you noticed any increased horseness? 1.3039 0.05877 102 78 17 7
2050 Just cut it in half so it won’t look like a horse pill. 1.3039 0.05536 102 76 21 5
2051 Thank you for asking, I'm a bit hoarse, and I have a severe case of the trots. 1.3039 0.05709 102 77 19 6
2052 These are the biggest pills we have. 1.3036 0.05048 112 82 26 4
2053 This'll be enough to knock out a horse" 1.3030 0.05644 99 74 20 5
2054 Sorry sir, Your health plan does not cover hoof & mouth disease medication 1.3030 0.05644 99 74 20 5
2055 What would you recommend? I'm a little horse. 1.3021 0.05946 96 73 17 6
2056 For most people "horse pills" is just an expression. 1.3021 0.05364 96 70 23 3
2057 No, that’s not why we call them horse pills. 1.3021 0.05946 96 73 17 6
2058 They're horse pills, of course. What did you expect? 1.3021 0.05565 96 71 21 4
2059 Sir, as a pharmacist, I only dispense the prescribed suppositories, I do not administer them. 1.3021 0.06304 96 75 13 8
2060 Sir, I am sorry but your insurance no longer covers your prescription of Mane and Tail. 1.3021 0.06304 96 75 13 8
2061 Do you have anything for flies? 1.3021 0.05565 96 73 18 5
2062 Yes, as a matter of fact that is a common side-effect. 1.3021 0.05565 96 71 21 4
2063 Shaped like a horse pill no, why? 1.3021 0.05565 96 71 21 4
2064 The bottle isn't big enough to list all side-effects, Sir. 1.3021 0.05565 96 74 18 4
2065 Take two of these just before you enter the starting gate. 1.3021 0.05565 96 71 21 4
2066 See, I told you wasn’t just horsing around. 1.3021 0.05758 96 72 19 5
2067 Do you have anything for bladder control? I’ve been peeing like a racehorse. 1.3021 0.05364 96 70 23 3
2068 You should take this with hay. 1.3021 0.05946 96 73 17 6
2069 This will help your hair grow back but the fillies are still gonna know it’s not a mane. 1.3021 0.05364 96 70 23 3
2070 Yes, their are some side effects... why? 1.3021 0.05565 96 71 21 4
2071 I didn't mean to offend you, sir. I only meant these pills are hard to swallow. 1.3021 0.05946 96 73 17 6
2072 It's a neighsal spray. 1.3021 0.06304 96 75 13 8
2073 So, Mr. Ed, you're picking up this prescription for Wilburr R? 1.3021 0.05565 96 71 21 4
2074 This medicine will make you feel better, but not Kentucky Derby better. 1.3021 0.05565 96 71 21 4
2075 That’s the worst case of hay fever I’ve ever seen. 1.3021 0.05758 96 72 19 5
2076 Picking up for half man half legend. 1.3021 0.05946 96 73 17 6
2077 Why the long torso? 1.3021 0.05758 96 72 19 5
2078 Yes, "the trots" is one possible side effect. 1.3021 0.06127 96 74 15 7
2079 these should relieve your nagging complaint 1.3021 0.05758 96 72 19 5
2080 My apologies sir, I really didn't mean anything by it when I said these were like horse pills" 1.3021 0.05758 96 72 19 5
2081 An easy mistake, but it's for when your throat is hoarse. [underline throat] 1.3021 0.05758 96 72 19 5
2082 You have to wear pants in here Greg. I'm not going to tell you again. 1.3021 0.06127 96 74 15 7
2083 Take one every morning on a full stomach of hay. 1.3021 0.05565 96 71 21 4
2084 I think you came to the wrong place. It's P-H-a-r-m.... 1.3016 0.07379 63 48 11 4
2085 Miracle cures for lower back pain are a myth. 1.3011 0.05677 93 69 20 4
2086 You may experience an uncontrollable urge to go to a rodeo. 1.3011 0.05879 93 70 18 5
2087 On the phone you said your were a little hoarse so take this for your throat. 1.3011 0.06074 93 71 16 6
2088 This won't keep them from talking about your backside but it will improve you gait. 1.3011 0.06074 93 71 16 6
2089 I feel like a horse’s petuty for asking, but do you have any hand sanitizer? 1.3011 0.06264 93 72 14 7
2090 Label says 100 milligrams should be sufficient. But a stud like you? I say take half a pill and see what happens. 1.3011 0.05677 93 69 20 4
2091 Take one every Satyrday 1.3011 0.06448 93 73 12 8
2092 I wouldn't dare take your money sir. Healthcare is a human right. Vote for Bernie Sanders 1.3011 0.05879 93 70 18 5
2093 Oh, you mean the horse legs! Totally normal, don’t worry about that. Now, if your piss turns black, definitely call your doctor. 1.3011 0.06074 93 71 16 6
2094 Weird - that isn't one of the listed side effects. 1.3011 0.06264 93 72 14 7
2095 Actually, I'm a Pisces. 1.3011 0.06074 93 71 16 6
2096 Take one each morning after a canter around Central Park. 1.3011 0.05249 93 67 24 2
2097 And please, no half-assed dosage instructions. 1.3011 0.06074 93 71 16 6
2098 Remember, take these every day but try try to stay clean just before a race. 1.3011 0.05879 93 70 18 5
2099 Don't panic?! You said the same thing about the hoof-and-mouth disease. 1.3011 0.06074 93 71 16 6
2100 I realize you just hoofed it over here, so I high-tailed it to get this ready for ya. 1.3011 0.06074 93 71 16 6
2101 Do you need a consult to discuss the side effects of this prescription? 1.3011 0.05879 93 70 18 5
2102 Sorry. We’re all out of the Magnums 1.3011 0.05879 93 70 18 5
2103 Are these for you or your other half? 1.3011 0.05677 93 69 20 4
2104 No. This was not listed as a possible side effect 1.3011 0.05467 93 70 19 4
2105 Stamp once if you understand the directions, twice if you need me to repeat them. 1.3011 0.05467 93 68 22 3
2106 You say you're throat is feeling hoarse. How about your ass? 1.3011 0.05879 93 70 18 5
2107 What have you got for a horse voice? 1.3011 0.05467 93 68 22 3
2108 You want the foal-proof cap? 1.3011 0.06074 93 71 16 6
2109 I left my wallet with my rider 1.3011 0.05677 93 69 20 4
2110 So yeah... This one is a suppository. 1.3011 0.05677 93 69 20 4
2111 Oh, I see we gave you ‘Hi Ho Sliver Centrum’ by mistake... 1.3011 0.05677 93 69 20 4
2112 Says right here...side effects may include transformation into mythological horse beast 1.3011 0.05467 93 68 22 3
2113 This medication is used for hoof and mouth disease. 1.3011 0.05677 93 69 20 4
2114 You're allergic to hay? That's a tough pill to swallow. 1.3011 0.05879 93 70 18 5
2115 Yes, I'm a little hoarse. How did you know? 1.3011 0.05249 93 67 24 2
2116 Take this with food. Greek would be best. 1.3011 0.05677 93 69 20 4
2117 No, I said my left "hoof" hurts; my teeth are fine. 1.3011 0.05879 93 70 18 5
2118 The blue ones will make you grow by approximately five hands. I did it and have now reached my dream height. 1.3011 0.05879 93 72 15 6
2119 The label clearly listed the side effects. 1.3011 0.05879 93 70 18 5
2120 I know, I know. At these prices, we’re not likely to get many more centaurs in here. 1.3011 0.06264 93 72 14 7
2121 One tablespoon every four hours until you're no longer horse. 1.3011 0.05467 93 68 22 3
2122 I'm having trouble reaching the effected area .. Could You? 1.3011 0.05467 93 68 22 3
2123 Place the birth control pill into your hoof, it will make you limp. 1.3011 0.06074 93 71 16 6
2124 Are you picking up prescription from your doctor or your vet? 1.3011 0.05879 93 70 18 5
2125 There's a co-hay with this one. 1.3011 0.05677 93 69 20 4
2126 Actually, do you have pills that makes me NOT make love like a stallion? 1.3011 0.05467 93 68 22 3
2127 Of course the pills are big. What'd you expect? 1.3011 0.05879 93 70 18 5
2128 I told you they were horse pills. 1.3011 0.06074 93 71 16 6
2129 Your wife has a point, Jimmy. You’re turning into one big ass. 1.3011 0.06074 93 71 16 6
2130 Swallow these with plenty of rye grass and water. 1.3011 0.05677 93 69 20 4
2131 Relax, lots of guys come in here with ponytails.” 1.3011 0.06264 93 72 14 7
2132 Take two, when you're a little hoarse. 1.3011 0.05879 93 70 18 5
2133 I'm terribly sorry, sir, but we don't carry alfalfa tablets. A health food store, perhaps? 1.3011 0.05249 93 67 24 2
2134 An unfortunate side effect is the trots. 1.3011 0.05677 93 69 20 4
2135 No, it's not a horse pill. 1.3011 0.05677 93 69 20 4
2136 Did I forget to mention possible side effects? 1.3011 0.06074 93 71 16 6
2137 You can find it in the Centaur Aisle. 1.3010 0.05661 103 78 19 6
2138 Restless leg syndrome may be a side effect. 1.3010 0.05490 103 77 21 5
2139 My hay fever is really bad this year". 1.3010 0.05661 103 78 19 6
2140 PreparationH, please. 1.3000 0.05412 100 74 22 4
2141 Here's what I have for a horse-of-a-different-color. 1.3000 0.05412 100 74 22 4
2142 Hi, it seems you only called a minute ago 1.3000 0.05774 100 76 18 6
2143 I can't read your vet's handwriting. 1.3000 0.05596 100 75 20 5
2144 Tell your wife, "Take one capsule every night, mare." 1.2981 0.05778 104 80 17 7
2145 Trump buys his Viagara. 1.2970 0.05367 101 75 22 4
2146 I feel compelled to inform you that one of the adverse side effects of this medication is the trots. 1.2970 0.05179 101 74 24 3
2147 Stop being an ass. 1.2970 0.05548 101 76 20 5
2148 I'll let you slide today, but from now on you'll have to leave your ass outside. 1.2970 0.05894 101 78 16 7
2149 It’s got quite a kick. 1.2967 0.06347 91 71 13 7
2150 This should help with the hoarseness. 1.2967 0.05949 91 69 17 5
2151 I DID tell you about the side effects. 1.2967 0.05524 91 67 21 3
2152 My throat isn’t hoarse but my legs are! 1.2967 0.05741 91 68 19 4
2153 Erectile dysfunction should not make you feel like half a man. 1.2967 0.06347 91 71 13 7
2154 Please use the fauna inclusive restroom. 1.2967 0.05524 91 67 21 3
2155 The horse thing should clear up in a day or so. It'll take another week for the chlamydia. 1.2967 0.05949 91 69 17 5
2156 Take two with breakfast, then do no not canter, jump, or operate heavy machinery. 1.2967 0.05524 91 67 21 3
2157 So you say there are side effects to your ED meds? 1.2967 0.05741 91 68 19 4
2158 You were supposed to take only one a day. 1.2967 0.05524 91 67 21 3
2159 Side effect, what side effects? 1.2967 0.05949 91 69 17 5
2160 Parody or satyr? 1.2967 0.05949 91 69 17 5
2161 It's up to you: horse pill or suppository? 1.2967 0.06151 91 70 15 6
2162 I did mention the side effects, you just weren't paying attention. 1.2967 0.06347 91 71 13 7
2163 This medicine will make you pee like a race horse. 1.2967 0.06347 91 71 13 7
2164 No, sorry, we don't offer suppository assistance. 1.2967 0.05949 91 69 17 5
2165 We may want to reduce your HGH dosage, Mr. Seabiscuit. 1.2967 0.05741 91 68 19 4
2166 I'm afraid that we must insist on a urine sample 1.2967 0.05741 91 68 19 4
2167 Yes, there are some side effects to this prescription you've been taking. 1.2967 0.05741 91 68 19 4
2168 On the bright side, I'm no longer experiencing nausea. 1.2967 0.05298 91 66 23 2
2169 It's for a bridle party. 1.2967 0.06151 91 70 15 6
2170 Well we DID warn you about the side effects. 1.2967 0.05741 91 68 19 4
2171 Enough of this self-pity, Mr Fribble. Just think what you save in trousers. 1.2967 0.05524 91 67 21 3
2172 It's right here under 'possible side effects' 1.2967 0.05524 91 67 21 3
2173 I told you the drug was experimental. 1.2967 0.05524 91 67 21 3
2174 Sorry, we have nothing for a horse's ass. 1.2967 0.05524 91 67 21 3
2175 I said there were no *known* side effects. 1.2967 0.05741 91 68 19 4
2176 I need a more specific DOB than 'between Nov. 23 and Dec. 21.' 1.2967 0.05949 91 69 17 5
2177 I did mention that a possible side effect was that it might make you a little horse. 1.2967 0.05741 91 68 19 4
2178 This will help the migraines, but it's banned from the Kentucky Derby. 1.2967 0.05741 91 68 19 4
2179 . . . should it last longer than four hours, my condolences to your mare. 1.2967 0.06151 91 70 15 6
2180 I’m sorry - your insurance doesn’t cover this prescription for hoof-and-mouth disease 1.2967 0.06151 91 70 15 6
2181 And what did you think they meant by equine therapy? 1.2967 0.05524 91 67 21 3
2182 And definitely no caffeine or galloping for at least the next three weeks. 1.2967 0.05298 91 66 23 2
2183 Do you have something for separation anxiety? 1.2967 0.06151 91 70 15 6
2184 It's the third likely side effect... 1.2967 0.05949 91 69 17 5
2185 …Remember, if it lasts longer than four hours, call your vet immediately. 1.2967 0.06151 91 70 15 6
2186 You said there were no known side effects? 1.2967 0.05524 91 67 21 3
2187 I was helping another customer. Why must you be the centaur of attention. 1.2967 0.05741 91 68 19 4
2188 One anabolic steroid a day for one week, and you should be ready for the Preakness. 1.2967 0.05741 91 68 19 4
2189 So, you have the trots? 1.2967 0.05524 91 67 21 3
2190 You should take this twice a day with food or hay, whichever you prefer. 1.2967 0.05524 91 67 21 3
2191 Oh, SEN-A-tor. That explains the pill mixup. 1.2967 0.05741 91 68 19 4
2192 No, you will have to see a Shaman to for that. 1.2967 0.06151 91 70 15 6
2193 Well Lipicentaur is the most famous brand, but the generic chemical name is Centaurvastatin. 1.2967 0.05298 91 66 23 2
2194 Did your doctor not warn you of the side effects? 1.2967 0.05741 91 68 19 4
2195 I've made a horse's ass of myself. It was the tequila. 1.2967 0.06720 91 73 9 9
2196 I don’t know about athletes hoof, but this helped out a fella who came in with a weird fungus a couple weeks back. 1.2967 0.06151 91 70 15 6
2197 You'll have to go to the feed store for the rest of your order 1.2967 0.06151 91 70 15 6
2198 What do you have to treat my Satyrday night fever? 1.2967 0.05949 91 69 17 5
2199 Hank, have you got anything for a horse’s ass????? 1.2967 0.05949 91 69 17 5
2200 You're a little behind in your prescriptions. 1.2967 0.05741 91 68 19 4
2201 Would you prefer human or equine strength? 1.2967 0.05949 91 69 17 5
2202 This prescription should give you the extra giddy-up you require. 1.2967 0.06347 91 71 13 7
2203 I just haven't been feeling like myself lately. 1.2967 0.05741 91 68 19 4
2204 You say you have a sore throat and you’re a little horse? 1.2967 0.05298 91 66 23 2
2205 Medical or veterinary insurance? 1.2967 0.05524 91 67 21 3
2206 Who's Catherine The Great? 1.2967 0.06151 91 70 15 6
2207 It's not that the drug doesn't work, it's that you really are a horse's ass. 1.2967 0.06347 91 71 13 7
2208 Ed, your universal healthcare plan only covers half of this. 1.2967 0.05741 91 68 19 4
2209 Take twice a day with food and hay. 1.2967 0.05741 91 68 19 4
2210 No, there's nothing on here that says loss of tail hair is a side effect. 1.2967 0.05524 91 67 21 3
2211 The meds are for hay fever 1.2967 0.05062 91 65 25 1
2212 Have you noticed any unusual side effects? 1.2967 0.06151 91 70 15 6
2213 Did you get the results you were hoping for? 1.2967 0.05524 91 67 21 3
2214 Take two of these antihistamines a day and avoid all contact with hay. 1.2967 0.05741 91 68 19 4
2215 Get this guy off me 1.2967 0.05741 91 68 19 4
2216 Only take Viagra that you purchase from a registered pharmacy... 1.2967 0.05949 91 69 17 5
2217 I've been feeling somewhat hoarse lately. 1.2967 0.06151 91 70 15 6
2218 It's more "whinny" than "raspy" 1.2967 0.05949 91 69 17 5
2219 Is that centaur with a c or a k? 1.2967 0.05949 91 69 17 5
2220 Take one pill daily with a bale of hay. 1.2967 0.05949 91 69 17 5
2221 Any recent exposure to hoof-and-mouth disease? 1.2967 0.05949 91 69 17 5
2222 I’m sorry about the side effects, sir. Yes, it is ironic that it’s for hay fever. 1.2967 0.05949 91 69 17 5
2223 We normally don’t prescribe ketamine, but in your case, I think we can make an exception. 1.2967 0.06347 91 71 13 7
2224 So I have horse-strength laxative for your diarrhea and human ant acids for your heartburn. Please leave the store before taking the laxative since you’re not wearing pants. 1.2967 0.06536 91 72 11 8
2225 You say your mother's maiden name is "Ed"? 1.2967 0.05949 91 69 17 5
2226 Yes, Ed, they are horse tablets. 1.2967 0.06151 91 70 15 6
2227 And if you have an erection longer than two feet, call your doctor. 1.2967 0.06151 91 70 15 6
2228 One, twice a day, should do the trick if you're getting a little hoarse. 1.2967 0.05741 91 68 19 4
2229 Your pills, sir, but I'll have to report your fever to the Centaur for Disease Control 1.2967 0.05949 91 69 17 5
2230 I'm sure it's you Mr. Centaur, but I still need to see a picture I.D.? 1.2967 0.06151 91 70 15 6
2231 Did you read and follow the dosing instructions? 1.2967 0.06151 91 70 15 6
2232 One of the side effects is that you might be a little hoarse. 1.2967 0.06151 91 70 15 6
2233 Suppositories? 1.2967 0.05524 91 67 21 3
2234 Whoa, the dose on this viagra is enough for a horse! 1.2967 0.05741 91 68 19 4
2235 I hope it's not horse pills again. 1.2967 0.05949 91 69 17 5
2236 You might need to double your prescription for your restless leg syndrome. 1.2967 0.05741 91 68 19 4
2237 The white pill is for you, and the blue pill is for the horse you rode in on." 1.2967 0.05741 91 68 19 4
2238 No, I don't need anything for hoof-and-mouth disease, thank you very much. Gee, haven't heard that one before. I'm actually just looking for throat lozenges--I fear I'm a little hoarse. 1.2967 0.05949 91 69 17 5
2239 ...side effects may include hoarseness.” 1.2967 0.05524 91 67 21 3
2240 I'm sorry sir, there are no medications that prevent involuntary defecation during business meetings. 1.2967 0.06347 91 71 13 7
2241 Take two of these each time you feel you’re a little hoarse. 1.2967 0.05741 91 68 19 4
2242 This is not recommended for quarter horses. 1.2967 0.05949 91 69 17 5
2243 No, Mr. Smith, you don't have to explain. We pharmacists work on a raised platform specifically to notice these types of things. 1.2967 0.05298 91 66 23 2
2244 Now, this might be hard to swallow. 1.2967 0.05524 91 67 21 3
2245 Centaur erectile dysfunction is just a myth, sir. 1.2967 0.06347 91 71 13 7
2246 It’s recommended by the Centaur for Disease Control. 1.2967 0.05741 91 68 19 4
2247 Tap "decline" if you do not require counseling from the farmacist. 1.2967 0.05949 91 69 17 5
2248 Can I have that in liquid form? I don’t do horse pills. 1.2967 0.05949 91 69 17 5
2249 Your Veterinarian can dispense this med for a little cheaper." 1.2967 0.06151 91 70 15 6
2250 It says hoarseness is a side effect, but maybe that’s a typo. 1.2967 0.06151 91 70 15 6
2251 This is good for hay fever and the trots. 1.2967 0.06347 91 71 13 7
2252 Naysal spray? 1.2967 0.05949 91 69 17 5
2253 Not this horses’ ass again. 1.2967 0.05949 91 69 17 5
2254 I believe I went over the side effects with you earlier. 1.2967 0.05524 91 67 21 3
2255 Clean up at the pharmacy station. 1.2967 0.06151 91 70 15 6
2256 Nope, no feedbags in stock but your Minoxidil prescription is ready for pickup. Robyn Stanton, Palo Alto, Ca. 1.2967 0.06151 91 70 15 6
2257 Are you kidding ? 1.2967 0.06347 91 71 13 7
2258 Remember, taking more than the suggested dosage won't help your mane grow back. 1.2967 0.05741 91 68 19 4
2259 It clearly states that was a possible side effect. 1.2967 0.05524 91 67 21 3
2260 Yes, this is the best drug we have so far for hand hoof and mouth. 1.2967 0.05524 91 67 21 3
2261 This started as a wart on my behind. 1.2967 0.06347 91 71 13 7
2262 I'm just grateful that I'm not the constant butt of "Why the long face?" jokes. 1.2967 0.05524 91 67 21 3
2263 . . . but this was signed by a veterinarian . . . 1.2967 0.05949 91 69 17 5
2264 Sorry we are a full service pharmacy not a half assed one. 1.2967 0.06151 91 70 15 6
2265 Promise me you'll take the entire course this time even if you're feeling perfectly normal. 1.2967 0.05949 91 69 17 5
2266 I don't want to be a neigh-sayer, but perhaps you're just a little hoarse. 1.2967 0.05949 91 69 17 5
2267 Shouldn't I get it for half price? 1.2967 0.05741 91 68 19 4
2268 Have you got something, I'm a little horse. 1.2967 0.05949 91 69 17 5
2269 we don't have anything that will revert you back to being a horse! 1.2967 0.05949 91 69 17 5
2270 I need to speak with someone about side effects 1.2967 0.05949 91 69 17 5
2271 Sir, I clearly told you one of the side effects is that it could make you a little horse. It’s not my fault you mistakenly assumed I meant “hoarse.” 1.2967 0.06151 91 70 15 6
2272 ...and no pulling heavy machinery after you take these. 1.2967 0.05741 91 68 19 4
2273 I think the generic stopped working. 1.2967 0.05741 91 68 19 4
2274 I recommend these lozenges for that sore throat, but you really should see a veterinarian for the hemorrhoids. 1.2967 0.06151 91 70 15 6
2275 Here, these two prescriptions should work for the both of you. 1.2967 0.05741 91 68 19 4
2276 Take on an empty stomach, one hour before giddy-up. 1.2967 0.05298 91 68 20 3
2277 I woke up a little horse, do you have anything I could munch on? 1.2967 0.05949 91 69 17 5
2278 Take these, twice a day with hay. 1.2967 0.05524 91 67 21 3
2279 These are suppositories, so you might want to ask a friend for some help. 1.2967 0.05741 91 68 19 4
2280 Apparently you"re a man that does not read the side effects label. 1.2967 0.05741 91 68 19 4
2281 [sigh]. No Sir, we don't have anything to treat an overactive imagination. [sigh] Next! 1.2967 0.05949 91 69 17 5
2282 I'm all out of stock but your vet might have it. 1.2967 0.05524 91 67 21 3
2283 Within 24 hours, this should relieve your case of ‘the trots.’” 1.2967 0.05949 91 69 17 5
2284 Yes, alfalfa tablets tend to boost horse sense. 1.2967 0.05524 91 67 21 3
2285 Humph, 3rd one today. Are you sure you ingested it orally?" 1.2967 0.06151 91 70 15 6
2286 I mean no disrespect, sir. I only called them horse pill because of their size. 1.2967 0.05949 91 69 17 5
2287 Ask your doctor if Centaurum is right for you. 1.2967 0.05949 91 69 17 5
2288 The pills should make you feel better but you'll still be a horse's ass. 1.2967 0.05949 91 69 17 5
2289 Once you try the GMO version of Growth Hormone, you'll see the difference. 1.2967 0.05949 91 69 17 5
2290 Well, Viagra can have some side effects. 1.2967 0.06151 91 70 15 6
2291 I hope this works. Otherwise, you will have be shot. 1.2967 0.06347 91 71 13 7
2292 Possible side effects include a case of the trots. 1.2967 0.05741 91 68 19 4
2293 This medication could give you the trots. 1.2967 0.05741 91 68 19 4
2294 When you said these were horse pills I thought you meant the size. 1.2967 0.06347 91 71 13 7
2295 If it's too much of a horse pill, you can cut it in half. 1.2967 0.05949 91 69 17 5
2296 I wasn't insulting you. I just said you're a little hoarse. 1.2967 0.05524 91 67 21 3
2297 Ahhh, here it is -- "May cause mild headaches, dizziness, and turn you into a minotaur." 1.2941 0.04944 102 74 26 2
2298 It says to take twice daily by..., say, how long are your arms? 1.2935 0.05893 92 70 17 5
2299 Our records indicate that you waived the cautions regarding the possible side effects. 1.2935 0.05893 92 70 17 5
2300 The “size” of your ass is not the problem. 1.2935 0.05687 92 69 19 4
2301 I’m sorry but centaurism is a listed side effect. 1.2935 0.05893 92 70 17 5
2302 Your Veterinarian wants you to take the medicine 4 times a day; but, your General Practitioner wants you to take it twice a day. I say split the difference and go with 3 a day. 1.2935 0.05017 92 66 25 1
2303 The FDA doesn't consider that a dangerous side effect. 1.2935 0.05687 92 69 19 4
2304 Sir, we don’t have your prescription in half horse pill size. 1.2929 0.05607 99 75 19 5
2305 Do you have the liquid version? I can't swallow those horse pills. 1.2921 0.05806 89 67 18 4
2306 Take two a day and stay away from the track. 1.2921 0.06022 89 68 16 5
2307 That's Of Magnesia 1.2921 0.05582 89 66 20 3
2308 Nay!? 1.2921 0.05582 89 66 20 3
2309 Should I just skip over the side effects this time? 1.2921 0.05582 89 66 20 3
2310 I’ve got this persistent itch around the fetlock 1.2921 0.06022 89 68 16 5
2311 I'm sorry you didn't look up the side effects before you took the whole prescription. 1.2921 0.06022 89 68 16 5
2312 ...first thing in the morning, with your carrots." 1.2921 0.06231 89 69 14 6
2313 I see you have a prescription of Ketamine. 1.2921 0.05582 89 66 20 3
2314 This should take care of that hoarseness. 1.2921 0.05582 89 66 20 3
2315 I’m sorry sir. This medicine is for “hoarseness!” 1.2921 0.05582 89 68 17 4
2316 Judy, can I have some medication for my hay fever? 1.2921 0.05348 89 65 22 2
2317 You may experience some mane loss and nostril flaring. 1.2921 0.05582 89 68 17 4
2318 I"m sorry, we don't carry anything for hoof and mouth disease. 1.2921 0.05582 89 66 20 3
2319 Do you have anything for being a horse's ass? 1.2921 0.06231 89 69 14 6
2320 I’m actually only a quarter Greek; the glasses throw people off. 1.2921 0.06022 89 68 16 5
2321 This will assist with your transition. 1.2921 0.05582 89 66 20 3
2322 This prescription should yield better results than the last. 1.2921 0.06022 89 68 16 5
2323 The pills are working, except for this 1.2921 0.05348 89 65 22 2
2324 No sir, a flabby croup is not a side effect. 1.2921 0.06022 89 68 16 5
2325 You’ll need some help, these are suppositories. 1.2921 0.06432 89 70 12 7
2326 It's a side effect of the medication. 1.2921 0.06022 89 68 16 5
2327 Take every four hours for the trots. 1.2921 0.05806 89 67 18 4
2328 I'm afraid there are no liquid forms for this medication. You'll have to just accept it as this horse pill. 1.2921 0.06432 89 70 12 7
2329 It says right here - the Centaur for Disease Control notes it could make you hoarse. 1.2921 0.06022 89 68 16 5
2330 Your doctor prescribed the cough medicine because he thought you said you were feeling a little hoarse. 1.2921 0.05806 89 67 18 4
2331 I can't fill this without a prescription signed by your vet as well as your physician. 1.2921 0.05806 89 67 18 4
2332 I'm sorry, I can't fill the entire prescription, but I know a vet that can cover the other half. 1.2921 0.05806 89 67 18 4
2333 These are to treat your restless hoof syndrome. 1.2920 0.05134 113 85 23 5
2334 I go through this every time. Centrum and centaur are completely different! 1.2913 0.05455 103 78 20 5
2335 one from you and one for the horse you rode in on 1.2900 0.05559 100 76 19 5
2336 I also need a prescription from your Veterinarian. 1.2889 0.05964 90 69 16 5
2337 No, I will not trade these for a hot tip in 3:05 at Belmont. 1.2889 0.05751 90 68 18 4
2338 You'll have to fill your vet's prescription down the street. 1.2889 0.05751 90 68 18 4
2339 Doc, I’m feeling a bit horse. 1.2889 0.05299 90 66 22 2
2340 Sorry to be back again but my throat is still hoarse- just when I thought it was all behind me! 1.2889 0.05964 90 69 16 5
2341 Ken Taur, K-E-N, T-A-U-R. Sorry, I can't find anyone with that name. 1.2885 0.05409 104 79 20 5
2342 Okay, I guess in that case your ‘friend’ may require assistance with the applicator. 1.2874 0.05874 87 66 17 4
2343 Ya, I'm actually headed to a stag party. 1.2874 0.05874 87 66 17 4
2344 Do you have anything smaller? Those look like horse pills. 1.2874 0.06097 87 67 15 5
2345 When I said that this would have you "feeling your oats", I didn't mean anything by it. 1.2874 0.06313 87 68 13 6
2346 Will this cure a charlie horse? 1.2874 0.05400 87 64 21 2
2347 Yes,as a matter of fact,one of the side effects IS thickened toenails. 1.2874 0.05642 87 65 19 3
2348 I'm sorry, I don't have anything that can reverse curses. 1.2874 0.05874 87 66 17 4
2349 I’m sorry but this is a small animal pharmacy. 1.2874 0.06521 87 69 11 7
2350 Hoof and mouth disease, eh? 1.2874 0.05400 87 64 21 2
2351 Sorry, Medicare doesn't cover veterinary doses. 1.2874 0.05874 87 66 17 4
2352 My horse pills are wearing off. 1.2874 0.06097 87 67 15 5
2353 I hope this one works. Otherwise we may have to . . . never mind. 1.2874 0.05874 87 66 17 4
2354 What are the drug restrictions for entering the Kentucky Derby ? 1.2874 0.06097 87 67 15 5
2355 If this doesn't cure your athlete's hoof, try some vinegar and baking soda, if that doesn't work, I'll refer you to a good vet. 1.2874 0.05874 87 66 17 4
2356 If it's for your horse, we're not a veterinary pharmacy. 1.2874 0.05642 87 65 19 3
2357 Before ingesting, it would behoove you to be aware of the side effects. 1.2874 0.05874 87 66 17 4
2358 And the horse you rode in on! 1.2874 0.05642 87 65 19 3
2359 These pills should help you feel less hoarse. 1.2874 0.05874 87 66 17 4
2360 didn't you see the commercial? It said side effects may vary. 1.2874 0.05146 87 63 23 1
2361 When taking this Viagra, you may wish to stay out of the public's eye. 1.2874 0.06097 87 67 15 5
2362 You should read the list of side effects thoroughly next time” 1.2874 0.06097 87 67 15 5
2363 Hey Len, I feel like a horses’s ass, but I left my insurance card at home 1.2874 0.06097 87 67 15 5
2364 There is no cure for neighing. 1.2874 0.06097 87 67 15 5
2365 Here, this one will help with your hair loss, you'll have to go to another pharmacy for everything else. 1.2874 0.05642 87 65 19 3
2366 And shall I replace the child-proof lid? 1.2874 0.05874 87 66 17 4
2367 Obviously, you are aware of the side effects. 1.2874 0.05642 87 65 19 3
2368 I need something that could kill a horse 1.2874 0.05642 87 65 19 3
2369 Yeah, pretty good. Yourself? 1.2874 0.05642 87 65 19 3
2370 Just a minute, sir, I'm have to vet your prescription. 1.2874 0.05874 87 66 17 4
2371 I'm sure someone will get a good kick out of these suppositories. 1.2874 0.05874 87 66 17 4
2372 Take one pill immediately after grazing. 1.2874 0.05146 87 63 23 1
2373 Take two of these three times a day and in a month or so you'll be back at the Jockey Club one way or another." 1.2874 0.05874 87 66 17 4
2374 I’ve just made an ass out of myself, do you have anything over the counter I can take to numb the pain? 1.2874 0.05874 87 66 17 4
2375 What do you recommend for sore feet? 1.2874 0.05146 87 63 23 1
2376 You need to speak with your provider as to whether the risks outweigh the benefits. 1.2874 0.05874 87 66 17 4
2377 The Centaur for Disease Control knows what they are doing. 1.2874 0.05874 87 66 17 4
2378 There’s a lot of it going around... 1.2874 0.05874 87 66 17 4
2379 My wife's not complaining. 1.2874 0.05874 87 66 17 4
2380 Another case of the trots is it? 1.2874 0.05642 87 65 19 3
2381 But we told you it was a possible but rare side-effect, and you signed “agreed.” 1.2874 0.05874 87 66 17 4
2382 This prescription is going to cost me an arm and a leg and a leg and a leg and a leg. 1.2874 0.05642 87 65 19 3
2383 Why the long face, Joe? 1.2874 0.05400 87 64 21 2
2384 Well, you did say you wanted to be hung like a horse. 1.2874 0.06313 87 68 13 6
2385 Stomp your hoof twice if you understand how to take this medication. 1.2874 0.05400 87 66 18 3
2386 It may help with the baldness, but I'm afraid you'll still be a horse's ass. 1.2874 0.05146 87 70 13 4
2387 You know you can get this cheaper at your veterinarian? 1.2874 0.06097 87 67 15 5
2388 It is an anal suppository. You ok with that? 1.2874 0.06097 87 67 15 5
2389 These horse pills are hard to swallow; I suggest that you grind them to a powder along with a couple of sugar cubes, and mix that in with your oatmeal every morning. Also, avoid carrots while taking this drug. 1.2874 0.05759 87 68 14 5
2390 Ingest the evening before your colonoscopy and “whoa nilly” 1.2874 0.06097 87 67 15 5
2391 Do you really think I would save on prescriptions if I went to a vet instead? 1.2874 0.05146 87 63 23 1
2392 Would you please put them in a plain bag? 1.2874 0.06313 87 68 13 6
2393 And be sure to contact your doctor immediately if you start to fade around the fifth furlong. 1.2874 0.05874 87 66 17 4
2394 This should work for hay fever. 1.2874 0.06097 87 67 15 5
2395 But did they enhance your size? 1.2874 0.06521 87 69 11 7
2396 I'm sorry but that's not listed as a known side effect. 1.2874 0.05874 87 66 17 4
2397 No, just because you're half horse doesn't mean I can sell you ketamine over the counter. 1.2874 0.05642 87 65 19 3
2398 Soooo...do you need a consultation, or are you already familiar with the side effects? 1.2874 0.05874 87 66 17 4
2399 The potential adverse reactions include restless leg syndrome. 1.2874 0.05874 87 66 17 4
2400 I’m getting somewhat concerned about these side-effects 1.2874 0.05874 87 66 17 4
2401 I need some neighsal spray. 1.2874 0.06313 87 68 13 6
2402 A side effect includes that this will make you pee like a racehorse. 1.2874 0.06097 87 67 15 5
2403 I can fill the first two prescriptions, but you will have to bring the third to your vet. 1.2874 0.05642 87 65 19 3
2404 The prescription for split personality. 1.2874 0.05642 87 65 19 3
2405 First off, no pun intended, but there's really no other way to describe the side effects. 1.2874 0.06313 87 68 13 6
2406 If you'd read through all three pages of potential side effects, this would not have come as a surprise to you." 1.2874 0.05642 87 65 19 3
2407 Finishing third at Aqueduct in the fifth doesn't qualify as a preexisting condition. 1.2874 0.06313 87 68 13 6
2408 That new prescription you gave me has some hellacious side effects. 1.2874 0.05642 87 65 19 3
2409 I don't care that you're from the Centaurs for Disease Control. You can't get a refill for three more days! 1.2874 0.06097 87 67 15 5
2410 As for those hemorrhoids...Mr. Pegasus??? 1.2874 0.06097 87 67 15 5
2411 I know this is a refill on your prescription, Mr. Johnson, but are you sure you wouldn't like me to go over the side effects one more time? 1.2874 0.06097 87 67 15 5
2412 No charge, as long as you leave before you poop. 1.2874 0.06313 87 68 13 6
2413 It only comes as a cherry syrup, not apple or sugar cube flavor! 1.2874 0.06097 87 67 15 5
2414 Mr. Jones, I would never horse around about your medication side effects. 1.2874 0.05642 87 65 19 3
2415 I'd cut these in half if I were you. 1.2874 0.05146 87 63 23 1
2416 It says here you declined consultation. 1.2874 0.06097 87 67 15 5
2417 This will have you running on all fours in next to no time. 1.2874 0.06097 87 67 15 5
2418 Would you like me to go through the possible side effects..? 1.2874 0.05874 87 66 17 4
2419 I have your prescription here but are you sure these suppositories won't be a problem for you? 1.2874 0.05642 87 65 19 3
2420 Do you need to consult with the pharmacist about the potential side-effects of this medication? 1.2874 0.05874 87 66 17 4
2421 Do you want cough drops too? You sound hoarse. 1.2874 0.06097 87 67 15 5
2422 It's PCP. Normally a horse tranquilizer, but I think you can handle it. 1.2874 0.05874 87 66 17 4
2423 No long face? 1.2874 0.06313 87 68 13 6
2424 Sir, the side-effects are clearly indicated on the label. 1.2874 0.05642 87 65 19 3
2425 Yes, I've been feeling a little hoarse lately 1.2874 0.04880 87 62 25 0
2426 I don’t think you can still say you’re just a little hoarse. 1.2874 0.05874 87 66 17 4
2427 Just break the pills in half. 1.2874 0.06097 87 67 15 5
2428 Lasix is bad for half of you. 1.2874 0.06097 87 67 15 5
2429 These will help take care of that pain in your ass. 1.2874 0.05874 87 66 17 4
2430 Would you go over the sides effects again? 1.2874 0.05400 87 64 21 2
2431 Well, it says the side effects may include being a little horse. 1.2874 0.06313 87 68 13 6
2432 Let's go over possible side effects one more time. 1.2874 0.04880 87 62 25 0
2433 You'll pee like a race horse. 1.2874 0.05400 87 64 21 2
2434 I knew I should have called in sick today. 1.2874 0.05874 87 66 17 4
2435 The last name is Ed. Yes, my father was in show business. 1.2874 0.05642 87 65 19 3
2436 I got the Clydesdale virus. 1.2874 0.06097 87 67 15 5
2437 Take only one a day or you may develop the trots or galloping diarrhea. 1.2874 0.05522 87 70 12 5
2438 One an hour before and you'll be like a young stallion. 1.2874 0.05874 87 66 17 4
2439 No more deals. I bet on you and lost a bloody fortune. 1.2874 0.06097 87 67 15 5
2440 These are the generics. Tranquilizer darts aren’t covered under your plan. 1.2874 0.05874 87 66 17 4
2441 Try this. It's guaranteed to stop the whinnying. 1.2874 0.06097 87 67 15 5
2442 Read it yourself! Right here under warning it says the two most common side effects are death and what you've got. 1.2874 0.06097 87 67 15 5
2443 Sorry, they should have sent you to the pharmythy counter. 1.2874 0.06723 87 70 9 8
2444 I'M sorry Mr. Armstrong, we don't have anything for extra horsepower. 1.2874 0.05874 87 66 17 4
2445 Look I told you last time you would only be partially covered 1.2874 0.05874 87 66 17 4
2446 Hay fever, again ? 1.2874 0.05400 87 64 21 2
2447 Mrs. unicorn already picked it up. 1.2874 0.05874 87 66 17 4
2448 Yes, that's one of the blue pill's side effects. Did your partner object? 1.2874 0.05874 87 66 17 4
2449 Will these pills help with hay fever? 1.2874 0.05400 87 64 21 2
2450 And remember, do not operate a buggy or haul heavy equipment while on this medicine. 1.2874 0.06097 87 67 15 5
2451 Hi. Do you have a rewards card you'd like to use? 1.2874 0.06097 87 67 15 5
2452 Are these the magic pills that will turn me into a man!" 1.2874 0.06097 87 67 15 5
2453 Take with two carrots. 1.2874 0.05146 87 63 23 1
2454 Centaur or not, you still have to wear pants in my pharmacy. 1.2874 0.06097 87 67 15 5
2455 Who knew?....says right here that one side effect is the trots 1.2874 0.05874 87 66 17 4
2456 Don't worry sir, it's perfectly normal to feel a little horse. 1.2874 0.05874 87 66 17 4
2457 Medicare will only cover half the cost of your prescription! 1.2874 0.05874 87 66 17 4
2458 Sir, for the last time; No Shoes, No Pants, No Service. 1.2871 0.05328 101 76 21 4
2459 It's for toe nail fungus, I'm afraid it won't help with hoof disease. 1.2857 0.05427 98 74 20 4
2460 Your a horses ass, and there's no drug that can change that. 1.2841 0.05816 88 67 17 4
2461 For that horse throat,I suggest you stop the oat supplements. 1.2833 0.07167 60 46 11 3
2462 This should help you get rid of the trots. 1.2826 0.06245 92 73 12 7
2463 These pills will help you to stop being such a horse’s ass - 1.2824 0.05944 85 65 16 4
2464 Take these once a day, with some hay. 1.2824 0.05189 85 62 22 1
2465 You'll be healthy as a horse in no time. 1.2824 0.06175 85 66 14 5
2466 Thinning mane? Try this. 1.2824 0.05944 85 65 16 4
2467 And unfortunately, this is a suppository. 1.2824 0.05703 85 64 18 3
2468 This should take care of your sore throat Ed, and by the way we have some fresh apples in aisle four. 1.2824 0.06175 85 66 14 5
2469 You’re full of horse shit, and this will help. 1.2824 0.05944 85 65 16 4
2470 This medicine has no serious side effects. The last customer who I prescribed this for won the Kentucky Derby." 1.2824 0.05703 85 64 18 3
2471 For the fiftieth time, Mr. Minocheval, even Minotaurs have a copay! 1.2824 0.05703 85 64 18 3
2472 I understand; but this is a lot of ketamine, even for you. 1.2824 0.05703 85 64 18 3
2473 These are to be taken with hay twice daily. 1.2824 0.06398 85 67 12 6
2474 Stay away from the track for a month or two. 1.2824 0.05944 85 65 16 4
2475 Side effects include the trots. 1.2824 0.05944 85 65 16 4
2476 Got anything stronger? 1.2824 0.05703 85 64 18 3
2477 Your copay will be six Drachmas. 1.2824 0.05703 85 64 18 3
2478 You're the first horse to complain about the side effects 1.2824 0.06398 85 67 12 6
2479 These are great if you're a little hoarse. 1.2824 0.05703 85 64 18 3
2480 A side effect of this prescription is sore fetlocks. 1.2824 0.06175 85 66 14 5
2481 Hay fever isn't so literal… 1.2824 0.06175 85 66 14 5
2482 Your dad wouldn’t quite get the “Get off your high horse” thing, would he? 1.2824 0.05944 85 65 16 4
2483 Take one daily with a cup of Half & Half." 1.2824 0.06175 85 66 14 5
2484 This prescription for Centaurium will disqualify you from the Kentucky Derby if you are tested for drugs. 1.2824 0.06175 85 66 14 5
2485 I’m DIY transitioning. 1.2824 0.05703 85 64 18 3
2486 Sorry, we don't accept Blue Grass, Blue Shield. 1.2824 0.05944 85 65 16 4
2487 You want the veterinary pharmacy over at Santa Anita. 1.2824 0.05703 85 64 18 3
2488 I hear that someone got spooked by a fluttering piece of paper and ran around trampling things. Do you know anything about that? 1.2824 0.05944 85 65 16 4
2489 Remember Mr. Johnson, this is to be taken with plenty of oats. 1.2824 0.06175 85 66 14 5
2490 I said, you sound a bit hoars. 1.2824 0.05944 85 65 16 4
2491 I would like to report an unexpected side effect. 1.2824 0.05452 85 63 20 2
2492 Let your wife know this has been noted to cause restless leg syndrome. 1.2824 0.05452 85 63 20 2
2493 Take one per day by mouth with hay or oats. 1.2824 0.06175 85 66 14 5
2494 We only have Minotaur capsules right now. If you have your doctor call we can get the Centaur ones. It’s basically the same thing without all the bull. 1.2824 0.05944 85 65 16 4
2495 Remember to inject one dart before you go to bed every night. 1.2824 0.06175 85 66 14 5
2496 Salt licks are on aisle 2 1.2824 0.05452 85 63 20 2
2497 Side effects may include nausea, headaches, and centaurism. 1.2824 0.05703 85 64 18 3
2498 Well, we both have our cross to bear. 1.2824 0.05944 85 65 16 4
2499 There is no cure, these suppositories will just ease the symptoms of you being diagnosed as a horses ass. 1.2824 0.06175 85 66 14 5
2500 If you're still hoarse after a few days of taking this, call your doctor. 1.2824 0.05944 85 65 16 4
2501 Absolutely . Take two of these and you’ll be hung like a horse. 1.2824 0.06175 85 66 14 5
2502 I’m not even going to ask if your insured. That’s a helluva pre-existing condition. 1.2824 0.05703 85 64 18 3
2503 Obviously you’re a little hoarse. These cough drops should help. 1.2824 0.06175 85 66 14 5
2504 You know what I need, that old grey mare ain’t what she used to be . 1.2824 0.05703 85 64 18 3
2505 If the horseness isn't improving by the weekend, give your doctor a call. 1.2824 0.06175 85 66 14 5
2506 Well, yes, they are rather large pills. 1.2824 0.05703 85 64 18 3
2507 How long will this side effect last? 1.2824 0.05189 85 62 22 1
2508 Take two of these daily, and you'll be off to the races in no time. 1.2824 0.05452 85 63 20 2
2509 Drugs won't help. For the Kentucky Derby you need to be fully committed. 1.2824 0.06175 85 66 14 5
2510 I do understand you had a bad experience in the past, but I still think you're overly focused on the rarer side effects. 1.2824 0.05189 85 62 22 1
2511 A centaur having Charley horses—that is an odd twist of fate! 1.2824 0.06175 85 66 14 5
2512 Sir, the label clearly states one dose every 3-4 hours. 1.2824 0.05703 85 64 18 3
2513 So this may have some side-effects, there's a 50/50 chance that your nose will turn into a duck beak. 1.2824 0.06398 85 67 12 6
2514 Any equestrians about your prescription? 1.2824 0.06175 85 66 14 5
2515 I’ve just been a little hoarse lately. 1.2824 0.05452 85 63 20 2
2516 You must have said “quinine” but I distinctly heard “equine” 1.2824 0.06175 85 66 14 5
2517 I don't have anything here to change you into an elephant, you have to go to your local polling district for that. 1.2824 0.06175 85 66 14 5
2518 This should make you feel like a young nag. 1.2824 0.05452 85 63 20 2
2519 The warning pamphlet did say those pills might make you a little horse. 1.2824 0.05189 85 62 22 1
2520 I'm sorry if you misunderstood but I was very clear with you that the generic brand might make you feel a little horse 1.2824 0.05703 85 64 18 3
2521 I didn't mean anything by it, Ed. I was only suggesting that these pills would be a little harder to swallow. 1.2824 0.05452 85 63 20 2
2522 If this gives you the runs, just say "whoa". 1.2824 0.05944 85 65 16 4
2523 If you're just a little horse this should work. 1.2824 0.05944 85 65 16 4
2524 Your schizophrenia is getting out of hand. 1.2824 0.06175 85 66 14 5
2525 Side effects may include decrease in archery proficiency. 1.2824 0.06398 85 67 12 6
2526 I can tell you this is very effective on Hoof & Mouth disease. 1.2824 0.06398 85 67 12 6
2527 But, does it cure hoof and mouth disease? 1.2824 0.05703 85 64 18 3
2528 And you say your throat is a little hoarse. 1.2824 0.05944 85 65 16 4
2529 Am I in the right stall? 1.2824 0.05703 85 64 18 3
2530 No, I’m sorry Sir, jackass is not one of the side affects. 1.2824 0.06175 85 66 14 5
2531 Is this available over the canter? 1.2824 0.06175 85 66 14 5
2532 No sir, being a horse’s ass is not a side effect of Viagra. 1.2824 0.06398 85 67 12 6
2533 Typically, we don’t prescribe the blue pills for horses. 1.2824 0.04767 85 67 15 3
2534 No, the size of the pill shouldn’t cause what you’ve got going on there. 1.2824 0.05703 85 64 18 3
2535 I can't stop feeling like a horses' ass. 1.2824 0.06175 85 66 14 5
2536 You’re fine. I don’t think pulling a buggy counts as operating heavy machinery. 1.2824 0.05703 85 64 18 3
2537 They say I’m a horse’s ass. You got anything for that? 1.2824 0.05703 85 64 18 3
2538 It does have some rare side saddle effects. 1.2824 0.05944 85 65 16 4
2539 No, this is for a hoarse throat. 1.2824 0.05703 85 64 18 3
2540 I'm sorry sir. Medicare doesn't cover equine flu. 1.2824 0.05452 85 63 20 2
2541 This makes your heart race. Not sure about the rest of you. 1.2824 0.06175 85 66 14 5
2542 Make sure to take this with 2 bales of hay 1.2824 0.05189 85 64 19 2
2543 Yes, sir, it is one of the known side effects. 1.2824 0.05703 85 64 18 3
2544 This will interfere with any other tranquilizers you're on. 1.2824 0.05944 85 65 16 4
2545 This must be signed by a physician and a veterinarian. 1.2824 0.05452 85 63 20 2
2546 Oh yes, sir, this is the very best solution for hoarseness. 1.2824 0.06175 85 66 14 5
2547 I'm glad to see your condition is stable 1.2824 0.05452 85 63 20 2
2548 You wouldn't believe what I had to go through to get this painkiller prescription 1.2824 0.05703 85 64 18 3
2549 I'm sorry sir, but we don't accept prescriptions from veterinarians here." 1.2824 0.06398 85 67 12 6
2550 Sir, I'm obviously the wrong person to ask about 'just riding it out'! 1.2824 0.05703 85 64 18 3
2551 You have a $10 copay on your lasix. 1.2824 0.05944 85 65 16 4
2552 Sorry, but you’ll need to see a vet for the suppositories. 1.2824 0.05452 85 63 20 2
2553 Sorry, but since you went out of network for the surgery, the meds aren't covered. 1.2824 0.05452 85 63 20 2
2554 I'm sorry, sir, but the term 'horse pill' is just a metaphor. 1.2824 0.05703 85 64 18 3
2555 I'm sorry. We can't fill a prescription from a veterinarian. 1.2824 0.04911 85 63 21 1
2556 What do you have for someone who’s a little hoarse? 1.2824 0.05944 85 65 16 4
2557 Medicare for all? 1.2824 0.06398 85 67 12 6
2558 I know it's a horse-sized pill, but you won't have any trouble. 1.2824 0.06175 85 66 14 5
2559 Do you have anything for galloping consumption? 1.2824 0.05944 85 65 16 4
2560 Take five pills daily with oats two hours before post time 1.2824 0.05944 85 65 16 4
2561 I have a prescription for Edwards...a Mr Edwards.... 1.2824 0.05452 85 63 20 2
2562 Take thirty seven capsules daily with food. 1.2824 0.05944 85 65 16 4
2563 Do you see this often? 1.2824 0.05944 85 65 16 4
2564 Believe me. No one could swallow these horse pills. 1.2824 0.05703 85 64 18 3
2565 Sorry, but we don’t carry beauty products here, sir. 1.2824 0.06613 85 68 10 7
2566 This dosage is high enough to kill a horse, but in your case... 1.2824 0.06175 85 66 14 5
2567 I think it's too late for antibiotics. 1.2824 0.05944 85 65 16 4
2568 These may leave you a little hoarse. 1.2824 0.05189 85 62 22 1
2569 We'll, it's not like the TV ad didn't cover all the potential side effects. You could always consult your veterinarian for a second opinion. 1.2824 0.05452 85 63 20 2
2570 Side effects? That's just a myth. 1.2824 0.05944 85 65 16 4
2571 You would be surprised how many of these little side effects could be avoided if people would just read the damn label and take their pills with a full glass of water. 1.2824 0.05944 85 65 16 4
2572 You have *STAMP STAMP STAMP* refills left. 1.2824 0.05452 85 63 20 2
2573 Side effects? Here a neigh, there a neigh, everywhere a neigh neigh. 1.2824 0.05703 85 64 18 3
2574 I’m sorry, you’ll have to trot down to the vet to pick up the other half of you prescription. 1.2824 0.05189 85 62 22 1
2575 I believe that you need to double the dosage. 1.2824 0.06175 85 66 14 5
2576 Is your veterinarian primary? 1.2824 0.05703 85 64 18 3
2577 You need a doctor's prescription for medicine for hoof and mouth disease. 1.2824 0.06175 85 66 14 5
2578 Two tablets, thrice daily.That ought to fix the trots. 1.2824 0.06175 85 66 14 5
2579 Well having a sense that your body really isn’t your own is a common side effect of this medication . 1.2824 0.05944 85 65 16 4
2580 Sir, it says right here on the bottle, these are not all the side effects. 1.2824 0.06398 85 67 12 6
2581 What seemed to Trigger the problem, Mr Rogers? 1.2824 0.05703 85 64 18 3
2582 I could only fill half of it. You'll have to get the other half at the vet's. 1.2824 0.05452 85 63 20 2
2583 I also was skeptical about socialized medicine but look at us now. 1.2824 0.05944 85 65 16 4
2584 It Says in the side effects. 'May make you a little horse.' 1.2824 0.05703 85 64 18 3
2585 The vet says four pills twice daily, the doctor says two. Let’s split the difference. 1.2824 0.05703 85 64 18 3
2586 I warned you about the side effects of taking horse pills. 1.2824 0.06175 85 66 14 5
2587 But this prescription is for a hoarse throat 1.2824 0.05703 85 64 18 3
2588 Some over-the-counter lozenges can help combat the hoarseness, but ... 1.2824 0.05703 85 64 18 3
2589 It's a common side effect for this hay fever medication. 1.2824 0.05703 85 64 18 3
2590 Whadya mean you can’t swallow ‘horse pills’. 1.2824 0.06175 85 66 14 5
2591 Ma'am, when they said Viagra™ made you 'hung like a horse,' I had thought of it merely as an expression. 1.2824 0.06175 85 66 14 5
2592 Any questions about this suppository medication? 1.2824 0.06175 85 66 14 5
2593 This will help with the cough but you'll need to see the vet about the worms. And you know, it couldn't hurt to wear pants. 1.2824 0.05944 85 65 16 4
2594 Feeling like a horses ass is not a side affect. 1.2824 0.05944 85 65 16 4
2595 Sir, if you believed the internet when it said your heart medication would be cheaper as a veterinary prescription, I have a bridge to sell you. 1.2824 0.05703 85 64 18 3
2596 It's cough syrup...I don't think the doctor understood that you're becoming a little horse 1.2824 0.05452 85 63 20 2
2597 By any chance, do you have hoof and mouth wash? 1.2824 0.05452 85 63 20 2
2598 Sorry sir, but the side effects clearly state that this medicine can make you a little horse. 1.2824 0.05703 85 64 18 3
2599 This proves it; there is a pill for everything these days. 1.2824 0.05703 85 64 18 3
2600 All you had to do was wash your hands and not touch your face. First coronavirus. Now this. You folks never learn. 1.2824 0.06175 85 66 14 5
2601 Apologies, sir. The black box warning does include "horse's ass" as a possible side effect. 1.2824 0.05944 85 65 16 4
2602 Always take with food. Hay is fine, but no oats for at least an hour. 1.2824 0.05944 85 65 16 4
2603 The urge to break into a canter IS one of the known side effects. 1.2824 0.05703 85 64 18 3
2604 Listen, I’m only suggesting you take this with water. 1.2824 0.06175 85 66 14 5
2605 This should cure the pain in your hoof but I’m not sure it will do anything for your halitosis. 1.2824 0.01183 85 68 17 0
2606 Take two of these and you will be as strong as a horse when you wake up tomorrow.... 1.2824 0.05452 85 63 20 2
2607 Make sure you take this with your evening oat bag. 1.2824 0.06175 85 66 14 5
2608 Well, in your case, hay fever may not be seasonal. 1.2824 0.06175 85 66 14 5
2609 This prescription is for Harry Trotter. Is that you? 1.2824 0.05944 85 65 16 4
2610 I’m sorry Sir, but there’s no medication for being a horse’s ass. 1.2824 0.05944 85 65 16 4
2611 I am sorry we are out of Cialis. 1.2824 0.05189 85 62 22 1
2612 I told you that the product may contain side effects 1.2824 0.05944 85 65 16 4
2613 What do you recommend for a cough? I'm feeling a little hoarse." 1.2824 0.05452 85 63 20 2
2614 Now...are you familiar with suppositories? 1.2824 0.06175 85 66 14 5
2615 twice a day with milk and oats 1.2824 0.05944 85 65 16 4
2616 Sorry, Viagra does not come in a stallion sized dose. 1.2824 0.05703 85 64 18 3
2617 Look at you, you need to go easy on them Giddy-Up tablets you hear.' 1.2824 0.06398 85 67 12 6
2618 I will need the extra-large condoms because I'm hung like . . . well . . . 1.2824 0.05944 85 65 16 4
2619 Take two if you start to feel horse 1.2824 0.05703 85 64 18 3
2620 I need something for my gittyup. 1.2824 0.05452 85 63 20 2
2621 The good news is you met your deductible when you were treated for mad cow disease. 1.2824 0.06175 85 66 14 5
2622 Wow! I thought 'Horse's Ass' was untreatable! 1.2824 0.05703 85 64 18 3
2623 I'm sorry that particular side effect isn't listed in the literature. 1.2824 0.05703 85 64 18 3
2624 I would keep it to a slow trot if you haven't tried horse medicine before. 1.2824 0.05452 85 63 20 2
2625 Veterinarians cannot prescribe under Medicare rules. 1.2824 0.05944 85 65 16 4
2626 These are strong enough to knock out ... Never mind. 1.2824 0.06175 85 66 14 5
2627 These may reduce your urge to whinny. 1.2824 0.06175 85 66 14 5
2628 Rodeo injury? 1.2824 0.05703 85 64 18 3
2629 Your athlete’s foot script can’t be renewed for another 15 days. 1.2824 0.05452 85 63 20 2
2630 Here. This should help with your hoarseness." 1.2824 0.05189 85 62 22 1
2631 Take this only if you feel like horsing around on Satyrday, Mr. Centaur. 1.2824 0.05944 85 65 16 4
2632 I said the medication you want is in the centre aisle, not the centaur aisle. 1.2824 0.06175 85 66 14 5
2633 The side effects are unusual, but according to the drug company, you'll get used to it over time. 1.2824 0.06175 85 66 14 5
2634 How long have you been feeling hoarse? 1.2824 0.05703 85 64 18 3
2635 Your insurance covers this only if you can prove you are a centaur and not a run-of-the-mill jackass." 1.2824 0.06175 85 66 14 5
2636 Rub this on your scalp twice a week and you should start seeing hair growing back in a couple of months. Ummm, you're sure that's all you need? 1.2824 0.05703 85 64 18 3
2637 Where did you say you were horse-whipped, Mr. Rosenstein? 1.2824 0.06175 85 66 14 5
2638 Double your dose if you're racing. 1.2824 0.06175 85 66 14 5
2639 I've never seen a side effect not on the list 1.2824 0.05189 85 62 22 1
2640 This prescription will cost you more than a centaur or two. 1.2824 0.05703 85 66 15 4
2641 Apply liberally to fetlocks twice daily. If your lameness continues, you may need to be put down. 1.2824 0.06175 85 66 14 5
2642 And you're sure this will work for the coroanavirus? 1.2824 0.05452 85 63 20 2
2643 Take 2 pills with every bale of hay and your hoof and mouth should clear up by the end of the week. 1.2824 0.05944 85 65 16 4
2644 This refill must be approved by your internist and your vet. 1.2824 0.05944 85 65 16 4
2645 I feel fine, but they said to finish out the prescription. 1.2824 0.05944 85 65 16 4
2646 Two of these would kill a horse... you should be fine. 1.2824 0.05703 85 64 18 3
2647 You’re unhappy with which half? 1.2824 0.05944 85 65 16 4
2648 it's like rogaine for your mane 1.2824 0.05703 85 64 18 3
2649 Let me guess.... feeling a little hoarse? 1.2824 0.06175 85 66 14 5
2650 Side effects?Longevity, especially pronounced in white males. 1.2824 0.05944 85 65 16 4
2651 If it lasts longer than 4 hours, call your vet. 1.2824 0.05189 85 62 22 1
2652 I'm here for my hoof and mouth prescription. 1.2824 0.05452 85 63 20 2
2653 These new pills have replaced fence posts for itches 1.2824 0.05944 85 65 16 4
2654 What do you suggest for a sore throat? I am a little hoarse. 1.2824 0.05452 85 63 20 2
2655 Follow the directions carefully to avoid galloping pneumonia. 1.2824 0.06398 85 67 12 6
2656 I’m sorry, your insurance doesn’t cover minotaurs 1.2824 0.05703 85 64 18 3
2657 Do you have anything for a Charliehorse? 1.2824 0.05189 85 62 22 1
2658 It suggest four pills each day for a horse and one pill for a human; you decide 1.2824 0.05944 85 65 16 4
2659 I don't know if equine flu is a pre-existing condition. 1.2824 0.05703 85 64 18 3
2660 Just want to make sure you're a pharmacist before I ask about possible side effects. 1.2812 0.05482 96 73 19 4
2661 do you have super extra large? 1.2809 0.06187 89 70 13 6
2662 Did you say Ketamine or Ambien? 1.2809 0.05759 89 68 17 4
2663 You don’t see a lot of prescriptions for ketamine 1.2809 0.05977 89 69 15 5
2664 Are you certain those are vegan capsules because, you know, I have a problem with gelatin?! 1.2796 0.05590 93 71 18 4
2665 You said you are feeling hoarse? 1.2791 0.05646 86 65 18 3
2666 "You're a little hoarse this morning." 1.2791 0.05883 86 66 16 4
2667 You'd think being hung like a horse would make erectile dysfunction the least of your sexual concerns. 1.2791 0.06331 86 68 12 6
2668 It says it right here under ‘side effects’ 1.2791 0.06331 86 68 12 6
2669 The side effects are neigh-gligible. 1.2791 0.06111 86 67 14 5
2670 Yes, your prostate medication is equine based, why do you ask? 1.2791 0.05646 86 65 18 3
2671 I'm sorry, sir, we don't have anything to give you if you're a horse's ass... 1.2791 0.05646 86 65 18 3
2672 I'm running at Pimlico tomorrow, will this show up if I have to submit a urinary sample post race? 1.2791 0.05883 86 66 16 4
2673 I’m told it’s a pretty common side effect. And, it saves me money ...I don’t need a car anymore. 1.2791 0.05883 86 66 16 4
2674 Because I’m feeling a little horse today. 1.2791 0.05398 86 64 20 2
2675 This will have you pissing like a Russian race horse again, in no time! 1.2784 0.05022 97 72 23 2
2676 Vigorous foot washing may avert the Acropolis 9 virus. 1.2778 0.06126 90 71 13 6
2677 No side effects that seem worth mentioning now, no. 1.2771 0.06255 83 65 13 5
2678 See, look right here- May cause drowsiness, upset stomach, and becoming a centaur. The side effects were clearly on the label so stop bitching. 1.2771 0.06255 83 65 13 5
2679 Do you have anything for hock chilblains? 1.2771 0.05766 83 63 17 3
2680 You will want to be especially mindful of incontinence as a possible side effect of this mediation. 1.2771 0.06015 83 64 15 4
2681 How many vials again? Clomp clomp, or clomp clomp clomp? 1.2771 0.05505 83 62 19 2
2682 I’m sorry. I meant no offense when I said horse pills. 1.2771 0.05766 83 63 17 3
2683 Be careful, these are strong enough to kill half a horse. 1.2771 0.05766 83 63 17 3
2684 You probably won't find the potential side effects alarming. 1.2771 0.05766 83 63 17 3
2685 Someone has to blow them into your mouth with a tube." 1.2771 0.06485 83 66 11 6
2686 If I were you, sir, I'd check with your veterinarian. 1.2771 0.06255 83 65 13 5
2687 We're looking. Was the script filled by a doctor or a veterinarian?" 1.2771 0.05766 83 63 17 3
2688 Yeah I'm sorry we don't have anything for....that. 1.2771 0.05231 83 63 18 2
2689 The pills might help a little, but you're still hung like an accountant. 1.2771 0.06015 83 64 15 4
2690 No we have nothing that will make your boss stop calling you half-assed 1.2771 0.05505 83 62 19 2
2691 The pills are rather large. But I guess you won't care about that. 1.2771 0.06255 83 65 13 5