Contest #699


Cartoon

699

The winning captions

These captions are chosen by The New Yorker.

  1. “And how do you feel about how she feels about how he feels?”
  2. “Today, we’re going to work on your codependence issues, your separation anxiety, and your fear of heights.”
  3. “Trust me. You're not alone.”


Name Value
Submission deadline 2020-03-01T22:59:00.000Z
Voting started -
Voting ended 2020-03-15T22:05:00.000Z
Finalists announced 2020-03-09T22:04:00.000Z
Magazine(s) announcing finalists issued March 16, 2020
Number of captions 5932
Number of responses 1192068
Number of participants -


Dashboard

In this table, the "mean" means the empirically measured average funniness score when the "unfunny", "somewhat funny" and "funny" receive a funniness score of 1, 2, 3 respectively. "Precison" is the standard error of the mean, the standard deviation of the mean estimate. With that, a caption with an empirical mean μ and precision σ has true mean in the range [μ - 2σ, μ + 2σ] with 95% probability by the 68-95-99.7 rule assuming the responses are indepedent and identically distributed.

Rank Caption Mean Precision Total votes "Unfunny" votes "Somewhat funny" votes "Funny" votes
0 Two of you have underlying issues. 2.2122 0.00657 12059 2127 5243 4683
1 You need help - on so many levels. 2.1045 0.00640 13248 2979 5900 4362
2 So, I gather your health plan didn't tell you what a Tier III plan is. 2.0508 0.00625 16530 4936 5812 5775
3 Linda, why do you think men are 'beneath' you? 2.0279 0.00646 14452 4163 5713 4566
4 Where shall we begin--with acrophobia, claustrophobia, or fear of being crushed? 2.0089 0.00656 13444 3830 5660 3946
5 Well, Freud never had to pay rent in Manhattan. 2.0081 0.00737 11672 3655 4267 3746
6 Patient number two, same question. 1.9964 0.00874 7805 2341 3151 2313
7 Welcome to Medicare for All at the Same Time 1.9933 0.00935 7429 2435 2609 2385
8 Don’t worry, I am certified to treat multiple personalities. 1.9628 0.00959 6535 2090 2598 1847
9 Have you considered the possibility that you are three separate people? 1.9538 0.00712 12620 4345 4507 3760
10 Okay, now let's start at the top. 1.9216 0.00778 9607 3196 3964 2445
11 I know it's our first session, but I'm going to say codependence is at least a part of your problem. 1.9192 0.00652 13601 4519 5656 3419
12 Trust me. You're not alone. 1.8879 0.00740 10778 3848 4284 2642
13 You knew when you voted for Bernie that "Medicare for all' would involve some compromises. 1.8816 0.00693 13223 5069 4650 3501
14 And how do you feel about how she feels about how he feels? 1.8459 0.00913 7341 2895 2679 1765
15 Well, time's up. Leave your groupon with my secretary. 1.8404 0.00815 9489 3866 3266 2353
16 Not only is the group discount a bargain, you’ll feel better just hearing how screwed up the others are. 1.8333 0.01079 5339 2177 1875 1287
17 Sibling rivalry, middle child syndrome, fear of falling...anything else? 1.8326 0.00713 11419 4428 4464 2517
18 Which one of you is my patient and which two of you are from AirBNB? 1.8307 0.00810 9752 4085 3230 2433
19 Now, let's explore your obsession with berth order... 1.8238 0.00791 10055 4203 3418 2431
20 Trust me, Sheila, the other two voices you keep hearing are most definitely not in your head. 1.8229 0.00843 8031 3127 3197 1705
21 Okay, time for another lightning round. Worst childhood memory. 1.8225 0.01581 2434 994 878 562
22 Then you shouldn’t have come to Costco for your counseling. 1.8203 0.00758 10997 4641 3684 2668
23 Do you prefer "he," "she" or "they?" 1.7989 0.00866 8269 3564 2799 1900
24 Everything you say to me is strictly confidential. 1.7779 0.00947 6793 2989 2322 1481
25 Remind me again, which one of you was a middle child? 1.7501 0.00738 9970 4260 3933 1771
26 You asked if I could sandwich you into my schedule this afternoon. 1.7318 0.01516 2446 1103 896 447
27 You each have issues on one level or another. 1.7293 0.00839 7759 3454 2948 1354
28 So, I may have underestimated the severity of your multiple personality disorder. 1.7214 0.00823 8362 3854 2977 1525
29 Today we’re going to work on your codependence issues, your separation anxiety, and your fear of heights. 1.7203 0.00870 7251 3285 2704 1258
30 Now calm down, it's not unusual to have a ménage à trois, what's unusual is that Timothy is pregnant. 1.7146 0.01003 6481 3297 1731 1450
31 That was no typo. I’m a licensed threeapist. 1.7124 0.01025 5758 2808 1796 1153
32 This is wrong on so many levels! 1.7106 0.00936 6708 3221 2203 1280
33 I see. I see. I see. 1.7106 0.01269 3507 1644 1234 629
34 You're lucky I could squeeze you in 1.7037 0.00977 5691 2638 2099 953
35 It's amazing how many responses you get when your ad says: "Threesomes, every hour on the hour." 1.7013 0.01883 1694 837 526 331
36 ..and what makes you feel like you've lost your identity? Number 1? 1.7009 0.01061 4978 2359 1745 871
37 we are working with so many ex-Trump staff, we have to combine the sessions 1.6983 0.02067 1475 754 412 309
38 You said you wanted group therapy. 1.6871 0.01109 4522 2185 1561 771
39 I can't tell you which, but one of these couches is a placebo. 1.6798 0.01266 3698 1878 1125 693
40 Let's start at the top. 1.6772 0.00958 5917 2888 2058 965
41 It's an idea I had while flying coach. 1.6765 0.01541 2300 1120 804 376
42 I'm sorry. Our 16 2/3 minutes are up. 1.6727 0.05203 220 113 66 41
43 Your id, ego, and superego are very well defined 1.6694 0.00981 5893 2965 1903 1019
44 How does it make you feel that I can only validate one parking ticket? 1.6612 0.01474 2642 1357 823 462
45 So, how are we? 1.6598 0.01736 1784 886 619 279
46 Good night, Id. Good night, Ego. Good night, Superego. 1.6533 0.01555 2299 1175 746 378
47 What did you think universal healthcare was going to look like?... 1.6524 0.01028 5340 2756 1681 900
48 I see you brought all your personalities today. 1.6492 0.00955 5784 2894 2023 866
49 And why don't you feel special? 1.6463 0.01155 4023 2043 1359 620
50 By working this way, we find that two out of three patients leave feeling like their problems aren't quite so bad after all... 1.6456 0.02182 1078 535 390 153
51 You each have a third of my undivided attention. 1.6418 0.01864 1569 809 513 247
52 I should have been more specific on the 3-for-1 Groupon... 1.6411 0.01034 5143 2668 1651 823
53 Debbie got the top bunk because she has better insurance, Doug, not because her parents love her more. 1.6282 0.01197 3722 1959 1192 567
54 Nothing has changed. The one with the highest co-pay gets the top bunk. 1.6247 0.01383 2755 1437 915 403
55 Welcome to Groupon therapy 1.6226 0.01037 5111 2733 1572 805
56 We'll start at the top with 'fear of heights,' move on to 'claustrophobia,' then end with 'everyone looks down on me.' 1.6199 0.01224 3565 1886 1148 531
57 Is 'they' your preferred pronoun? 1.6189 0.01100 4492 2401 1400 690
58 You have my undivided attention. 1.6185 0.01213 3539 1852 1181 504
59 The technical term is aestrascastraphobia, or fear of summer camp." 1.6185 0.01168 4031 2169 1225 630
60 The first thing I want you to know is that you're not alone. 1.6157 0.01674 1712 866 638 208
61 Yes, it is possible that you are tripolar. 1.6014 0.01363 2835 1537 891 407
62 You can't just say 'ditto.' 1.5940 0.01541 2192 1196 690 306
63 …and Janice, please stop saying “I see monsters under my bed.” 1.5903 0.01332 3080 1728 880 469
64 And what do you think triggers these memories of summer camp? 1.5848 0.01293 3056 1687 951 413
65 It's the difference between $100 an hour and $300 an hour. And as a bonus, you get to make new friends. 1.5823 0.01338 2866 1583 897 386
66 I am better at treating one person with multiple personalities than three people with no personality. 1.5803 0.01548 2290 1308 631 349
67 We'll now begin our first session of trickle-down psychiatry. 1.5769 0.01396 2640 1473 809 357
68 I thought I'd begin this session with a few words about berth order. 1.5752 0.01442 2573 1467 732 374
69 I’m reminding you that you spent the entire last session arguing over who goes first. 1.5718 0.01430 2506 1407 763 335
70 Sorry- your multiple personalities will have to pay separately. 1.5698 0.01441 2557 1463 725 365
71 But psychotherapy has never been debunked. 1.5687 0.01485 2432 1403 675 354
72 Yes, of course. It is disturbing on many levels. 1.5641 0.01553 2106 1193 636 276
73 It's just a workaround... insurance pays one third of my rate 1.5618 0.01516 2218 1264 662 292
74 You're suffering from, respectively, low, medium, and high shelf esteem. 1.5613 0.01596 2054 1185 585 284
75 I treat for multiple personality disorder but bill each personality separately. 1.5607 0.01584 2092 1210 591 291
76 This is what I call trickle down psychiatry 1.5597 0.02039 1215 692 366 157
77 Today, group, I'd like each of you to tell me why you think psychotherapy is a lot of bunk. 1.5596 0.05388 193 115 48 30
78 You do understand that the closer we get to the November election, the more crowded these sessions are going to become, right? 1.5586 0.02501 802 456 244 102
79 Ok, boys. Just describe your feelings when a girl is on top. 1.5580 0.02108 1156 665 337 154
80 This week we're going to try something called "trickle-down" therapy. 1.5573 0.01612 2015 1171 565 279
81 No need to be ashamed; patients often tier up during group sessions. 1.5560 0.01606 2043 1193 564 286
82 Thank you for sharing. 1.5556 0.01723 1719 990 503 226
83 Patient number one, tell me why you don't feel special. 1.5491 0.01651 1821 1047 548 226
84 Stop changing places. 3 card monte always snookers me. 1.5468 0.01934 1730 1137 241 349
85 Yes I’m sorry, cutbacks in insurance coverage. And please don’t listen when it’s not your turn. 1.5445 0.01767 1642 980 437 222
86 Multiple personality #1, this question is for you. 1.5440 0.01697 1669 955 520 194
87 Have you considered that it might not be multiple personality disorder? 1.5424 0.01745 1641 966 462 208
88 And what did you think I meant by a "three for one" session? 1.5402 0.01728 1568 893 503 172
89 Next time splurge for better insurance. By the way, Bottom Bunk - your 15 minutes are up. 1.5390 0.01859 1527 917 397 213
90 I suspect multiple personality disorders. 1.5369 0.01906 1503 919 361 223
91 Until you’re off your parents’ insurance, this is how it works. 1.5361 0.01839 1425 827 432 166
92 Because I still have student bills to pay off, that’s why. 1.5338 0.01886 1437 852 390 188
93 Really? NONE of you blames your mother? 1.5332 0.02142 1039 603 318 118
94 What did you think three-for-one deal meant? 1.5326 0.01902 1397 831 386 179
95 And you all still feel lonely? 1.5314 0.01911 1370 814 384 172
96 Why do you feel like the odds are stacked against you? 1.5314 0.01966 1387 849 339 199
97 If he had my overhead, Freud would have done the same thing! 1.5313 0.01901 1372 812 390 169
98 OK, Ego. First we'll hear from you. Then Id. Then Superego. 1.5301 0.01889 1345 787 403 155
99 The only way to get to the bottom of this, is to start from the top. Often the truth lies somewhere in the middle. 1.5301 0.01874 1362 796 410 156
100 Well,what did you think group therapy would be like? 1.5298 0.01956 1342 808 357 177
101 This is Manhattan. Get over it. 1.5294 0.02237 935 542 291 102
102 Ok. We've decided who gets the top bunk. That's a good start. I'll see you next week. 1.5270 0.01951 1296 771 367 158
103 Sorry about the set up here but it really does pay to read your insurance fine print 1.5265 0.01945 1263 742 377 144
104 Group therapy isn’t for everyone 1.5264 0.01995 1290 780 339 170
105 One check or separate checks? 1.5249 0.01995 1223 726 352 145
106 No, I can't give you separate checks. You'll have to work it out yourselves. 1.5249 0.01983 1244 740 355 149
107 I heard you the third time... 1.5225 0.02175 1133 703 268 162
108 That's all our time today, that's all our time today, and that's all our time today. 1.5203 0.02065 1182 717 315 150
109 Welcome to your Groupon therapy session. 1.5190 0.02086 1158 710 297 149
110 We can begin when everyone places their hands on their stomach" 1.5189 0.02211 1085 674 259 152
111 Okay, let’s take it from the top ... 1.5183 0.02075 1150 695 314 141
112 Which personality is speaking now? 1.5168 0.02158 1130 702 272 156
113 So you slept your way to the top? 1.5157 0.02341 954 592 232 130
114 Groupon psychiatry 1.5154 0.02255 1102 705 225 171
115 I know you might get the impression that psychiatry is a lot of bunk ... 1.5135 0.02127 1075 649 298 127
116 I see you chose to put yourself above everyone else. Interesting. 1.5122 0.02180 1062 653 274 135
117 Welcome to acrophobia, claustrophobia, and fear of being in middle-management therapy. 1.5110 0.02252 1047 659 241 147
118 How do you feel you stack up? 1.5094 0.02127 1015 604 305 106
119 This isn't what I had in mind when you said we should explore my issues with my parents 1.5090 0.05938 167 110 29 28
120 At the end of today's session, one of you will be voted off the lounger. 1.5072 0.02210 972 588 275 109
121 The hard part was cutting the umbilical cord. We're good now. 1.5066 0.02377 981 633 199 149
122 To begin, let’s start with Bob, the middle child. 1.5042 0.02228 950 576 269 105
123 Well here's hoping you're all here for the same problem 1.5041 0.02314 859 516 253 90
124 Group therapy is NOT bunk! Why does everyone keep saying that? 1.5037 0.02345 947 598 221 128
125 What did you expect when you bought a therapy session on Groupon? 1.5019 0.04216 259 156 76 27
126 I'm sorry,which one of you is afraid of heights? 1.4989 0.02437 886 565 198 122
127 An agoraphobe, an acrophobe, and a claustrophobe walk into a psychiatrist’s office… 1.4983 0.02380 877 548 221 107
128 Yes, if you are wondering I still haven't paid off my student loan. 1.4964 0.02425 695 405 235 55
129 In these sessions we'll work toward dismantling the illusion that one of you always comes out on top. 1.4953 0.02381 852 529 224 99
130 So Martha, you’ve been a bed wetter since childhood...? 1.4943 0.02866 617 391 147 79
131 OK, OK, I’m sorry if you feel therapy is just a lot of bunk. 1.4927 0.02441 824 517 208 99
132 So, tell me about these imaginary friends. 1.4925 0.02414 802 494 221 87
133 So,let us begin our Uber share therapy session. Shall we begin on top? 1.4920 0.02545 815 525 174 113
134 I got my licence from Ikea. 1.4914 0.02411 812 502 219 90
135 We should have thought of the bathroom before starting therapy today shouldn't we have! 1.4912 0.02500 798 505 194 99
136 So when did you first realize you weren't triplets? 1.4901 0.02439 808 505 210 93
137 The "Medicare for all" family plan 1.4894 0.02513 803 513 187 103
138 What makes you think you're not treated as individuals? 1.4893 0.02372 791 481 233 77
139 They have reduced our psychologists by two-thirds. 1.4878 0.02537 777 495 185 97
140 Shall we take it from the top? 1.4878 0.02430 777 479 217 81
141 Well, I'm here to help debunk those feelings. 1.4873 0.02832 552 336 163 53
142 Zoloft, Xanax, Prozac....NEXT!! 1.4869 0.02500 762 483 191 88
143 Now I understand one of you has a bedwetting problem? 1.4838 0.02590 740 473 176 91
144 Sorry for the over-booking. We're being overwhelmed by the presidential stress epidemic 1.4830 0.02617 735 473 169 93
145 The sign painter misspelled it "threepy," and I just went with it. 1.4829 0.02601 733 469 174 90
146 I understand it can be difficult being a White House Press Secretary. 1.4827 0.02781 663 430 146 87
147 I don’t think it’s dissociative identity disorder if you’re actually three separate people. 1.4817 0.02545 712 444 193 75
148 Today we can work on our collective unconscious. 1.4815 0.02769 702 465 136 101
149 How does it make you feel that I’m charging each of you the full hourly rate. 1.4813 0.02691 721 471 151 98
150 On the bright side, misery loves company. 1.4812 0.02392 719 451 201 65
151 It’s a new part of my practice called Tri-chiatry 1.4798 0.02745 717 475 136 104
152 Many say that psychotherapy is a lot of bunk 1.4785 0.02698 698 454 154 90
153 Some say my group therapy sessions are all bunk. You'll have to judge for yourself. 1.4785 0.02652 698 445 165 84
154 I’m taking group therapy to another level. 1.4775 0.02524 689 425 199 65
155 It's the latest in group counseling...the top bunk pays the highest rate and get's the last word. 1.4770 0.02688 696 452 156 88
156 You may not cry. But you may tier up. 1.4756 0.02581 677 423 186 68
157 You may feel alone, but you’re clearly not. 1.4751 0.02528 684 423 197 64
158 The buy one get two free promotion was intended for multiple visits. 1.4736 0.02440 663 423 181 57
159 This is my first literal "split personality" case. 1.4734 0.02849 657 439 125 93
160 Ok, let's begin by discussing your berth order. 1.4724 0.02704 635 403 164 68
161 Try to avoid talking down to the person beneath you. 1.4712 0.02605 643 400 183 60
162 Now that you're all comfortable, I'm afraid we're out of time. 1.4712 0.02768 643 418 147 77
163 I'm sorry, Janet, but I'm not going to bring the ladder back out until you open up some more. 1.4711 0.02840 605 392 141 72
164 Welcome, and thank you for using the Groupon for my special "Mother Issues Monday." 1.4702 0.02730 638 410 156 72
165 So, you learned you are triplets from 23 and me? 1.4701 0.02737 636 409 155 72
166 So you feel like someone is coming between you two? 1.4693 0.02590 586 353 191 42
167 And how did that make you feel? And how did that make you feel? And how did that make you feel? 1.4692 0.02811 616 400 143 73
168 What did you expect with my three-for-one promotion? 1.4691 0.02789 631 411 144 76
169 Don't all talk at once 1.4690 0.02867 629 416 127 84
170 So, the consensus is that the threesome was NOT a success. 1.4685 0.02763 619 398 152 69
171 Always remember that you are unique, just like everybody else! 1.4669 0.02667 619 389 171 59
172 Private session? I'm sorry, you're in a tiered health care plan. 1.4667 0.02659 615 390 166 59
173 To start the healing process, let’s debunk birth order. 1.4658 0.02761 599 382 155 62
174 Everybody loved Bernie's healthcare plan before the election. 1.4652 0.02823 604 393 141 70
175 Now you understand why they call it Tri-Care. 1.4652 0.02881 604 399 129 76
176 How did you think I would counsel a ménage a trois? 1.4651 0.02690 602 378 168 56
177 So it all started in summer camp? 1.4651 0.02638 602 373 178 51
178 So, Tammy, why do you always insist on being the superego? 1.4643 0.02912 616 413 118 84
179 Okay, let me get this straight, you have a fear of heights, you have claustrophobia and you’re just here for a nap. 1.4642 0.02731 586 369 162 55
180 I’m a practitioner in a form of therapy known as trickle-down. 1.4635 0.02846 589 383 139 67
181 I had a different concept in mind when I signed up for group therapy. 1.4626 0.02919 588 388 123 74
182 And, all together now, how did that make you feel? 1.4625 0.02957 586 392 117 77
183 So as you can see, we had to stack up the appointments for today. 1.4622 0.02734 582 367 161 54
184 Welcome to TrumpCare. 1.4596 0.02915 570 378 125 67
185 So, tell me how you feel about Medicare for All. 1.4592 0.02840 564 363 143 58
186 My approach is a little bit of Jung, a little bit of Freud and a whole lot of Henry Ford. 1.4581 0.02929 513 327 137 49
187 Well, you voted for him, now you'll have to deal with the Medicare cuts. 1.4580 0.02968 559 371 120 68
188 All right, we’ll start at the top and get to the bottom of this. 1.4578 0.02820 557 356 147 54
189 Correction: “You’re here today because two’s company but three’s crazy.” 1.4559 0.02984 544 360 120 64
190 Before we begin, rest assured that our session will be kept semi-private. 1.4550 0.02756 545 342 158 45
191 So to explore the effects of sibling birth order, I've stacked you by age. 1.4532 0.02954 534 350 126 58
192 So, it's acrophobia, claustrophobia, and low self-esteem. Or did I mix that up? 1.4530 0.02877 532 348 132 52
193 I charge by the patient not the hour 1.4525 0.03094 526 355 104 67
194 As a rule of thumb, I just assume one third of my patients will become well adjusted members of society. 1.4525 0.03163 526 359 92 73
195 Now, if everyone talks about their mothers at once we can both validate and normalize your behaviors simultaneously. 1.4525 0.03035 526 350 114 62
196 Let's wait for your dog to arrive. 1.4525 0.02799 526 337 142 46
197 When did you first suspect you weren't identical triplets? 1.4512 0.02947 492 314 134 44
198 The correct answer gets the session for free. 1.4511 0.03116 521 353 101 67
199 I see that this is a problem on multiple levels 1.4510 0.02860 510 323 144 43
200 Mormon couples counseling 1.4509 0.03028 519 344 116 59
201 So...you’re having trouble moving on from college dorm life. 1.4507 0.02872 517 330 141 46
202 So let's start with your mothers. 1.4507 0.03205 517 357 87 73
203 I'm afraid this is all your insurance will pay for. 1.4506 0.04337 233 150 61 22
204 Well, that's a lot of bunk. 1.4506 0.03111 506 339 106 61
205 Don't complain to me, you're the one who wanted the group rate. 1.4492 0.02851 512 335 130 47
206 Are you sure you followed the Ikea instructions? 1.4492 0.03071 512 341 110 60
207 Let’s take it from the top. 1.4492 0.02851 512 325 144 43
208 Summer camp anxiety therapy does not include calling our mommies to pick us up right now. 1.4488 0.03224 508 351 86 71
209 I know you're all different, but you're all crazy. 1.4475 0.03127 505 341 102 62
210 With this groupon, you each get 15 minutes. Let's start from the top. 1.4473 0.02914 503 323 135 45
211 It’s my trickle down theory of family happiness. 1.4465 0.03082 495 329 111 55
212 So, what brings you in today, besides the Groupon? 1.4447 0.03018 488 319 121 48
213 It’s not a multiple personality disorder when you’re different people. 1.4447 0.02919 488 312 135 41
214 So you feel like a sardines in the office, working in closed cubicles side by side. Tell me more... 1.4444 0.03191 486 330 96 60
215 Welcome to health care for all. 1.4444 0.02985 486 315 126 45
216 Which one of you thinks three's a crowd? 1.4444 0.03137 486 326 104 56
217 Thank you for participating in our double blind trial. At least one of you will be getting placebo psychology and one of you is a planted control group. 1.4442 0.03174 484 327 99 58
218 These new family sessions often end in tiers 1.4442 0.02994 484 314 125 45
219 You’re not alone in thinking that privacy is not the same as secrecy. 1.4442 0.03160 484 326 101 57
220 In this case, three is not a crowd it's a trilogy. 1.4428 0.03175 481 325 99 57
221 Will this be on one bill or separate? 1.4426 0.03115 479 319 108 52
222 As we begin Family Counseling, please try to ignore that you are my family .... 1.4423 0.03329 477 331 77 67
223 Your health insurance only covers a group session but I want you to feel special. 1.4421 0.03246 475 325 90 59
224 Multiple personality is not a disorder when you are multiple people. 1.4414 0.02924 469 298 135 36
225 Glad to see you're all adjusting to the new HMO. 1.4407 0.03191 472 319 98 55
226 One of you is the least crazy and will be leaving us this week. 1.4399 0.03089 466 307 113 46
227 Couch #2, same question. 1.4397 0.02982 473 306 126 41
228 On the phone, when you said you felt like three different people, this is not what I thought you meant. 1.4397 0.03217 464 314 96 54
229 In less than an hour, you will have two new problems. 1.4395 0.03293 471 326 83 62
230 I can assure you, psychology is not all bunk. 1.4376 0.03311 457 315 84 58
231 Take comfort in the fact that your co-pay has dropped by two-thirds! 1.4376 0.03007 457 295 124 37
232 What other people? We are here to discuss your schizophrenia. 1.4376 0.03163 457 305 104 48
233 Today, I’d like to start with a frank discussion about dependency issues. 1.4376 0.03102 457 300 111 44
234 This is how medicare for all really works. 1.4376 0.03311 457 315 84 58
235 What makes you feel they're helicopter parenting? 1.4374 0.03293 455 312 87 56
236 This new economy seating isn't perfect, but you should be grateful i'm not charging extra for your baggage. 1.4374 0.03233 455 308 95 52
237 I know it may seem a bit irregular but your company's mental health coverage just updated. Okay, so who wants to begin? 1.4374 0.03293 455 312 87 56
238 Only two more sessions and all of you will have met the deductible 1.4371 0.03229 453 306 96 51
239 Tell me about your two imaginary friends. 1.4361 0.03148 438 288 109 41
240 Imagine you are alone. Now, breathe. 1.4356 0.03319 450 309 84 56
241 I'm sorry, but your insurance only covers group therapy. 1.4347 0.03150 444 294 107 43
242 So how did it make you feel that Goldilocks liked his porridge best? 1.4347 0.03338 444 308 80 56
243 How does it make you feel that this isn't the threesome you were expecting? 1.4347 0.03245 444 300 95 49
244 Don’t worry, everything you say is confidential. 1.4347 0.03133 444 293 109 42
245 On the plus side, this format is fully covered by your company's mental health group benefit. 1.4340 0.03118 447 295 110 42
246 Anyone have a dream this week that wasn't about a sandwich? 1.4325 0.03168 437 290 105 42
247 Margaret is in the lead with three breakthroughs. 1.4324 0.03425 407 278 82 47
248 So, on a scale of one to ten, how intrusive would you say your parents are? 1.4312 0.03343 429 294 85 50
249 You're not schizophrenic. You are three people. 1.4306 0.03162 425 280 107 38
250 You are not alone. 1.4286 0.03152 420 274 105 37
251 So, tell me about your separation anxiety. 1.4286 0.03188 420 278 104 38
252 Ok, everybody. Let's take it from the top. 1.4286 0.03293 420 284 92 44
253 Why don't we have whoever is the most depressed start first? 1.4286 0.03328 420 286 88 46
254 I'm the oldest so I get to be the mom/therapist. 1.4286 0.03395 420 290 80 50
255 Actually, the effectiveness of group therapy hasn't been debunked. 1.4286 0.03428 420 289 75 51
256 Further evidence Freud was bunk. 1.4286 0.03543 420 299 62 59
257 We’ll have to do it this way in order for your insurance to cover it. 1.4282 0.03234 418 279 98 40
258 I'm testing the theory that bad things always happen in threes. 1.4275 0.03204 407 268 104 35
259 Oh, I see what you mean about 'berth trauma.' 1.4272 0.03339 412 279 88 44
260 The point is that you are not so special after all. 1.4272 0.03120 412 268 112 32
261 See Jackie? I told you last session I'd help you get over your exes. 1.4272 0.03176 412 271 106 35
262 Welcome to speed therapy. 1.4272 0.03139 412 269 110 33
263 Have you all signed the confidentiality agreement? 1.4272 0.03024 412 263 122 27
264 So... why don't we start from the top? 1.4268 0.03147 396 256 111 29
265 What makes you think you're co-dependent? 1.4268 0.03266 396 262 99 35
266 I see our 20 minutes is over. 1.4263 0.03147 434 289 105 40
267 So, how does it feel to be female, fat or young? 1.4258 0.03449 411 286 75 50
268 Okay, now let's peel back the layers of what you're feeling. 1.4254 0.03564 409 291 62 56
269 Well, what did you all think 'group practice' meant? 1.4254 0.03192 409 270 104 35
270 I'm pretty sure you have multiple personalities. 1.4254 0.03479 409 285 72 51
271 I see you've brought your alter-egos. 1.4254 0.03192 409 270 104 35
272 You all belong to the worst HMO I've ever seen. 1.4254 0.03269 402 268 97 37
273 This can easily be debunked 1.4251 0.03350 407 277 87 43
274 Ellen, 'sometimes' is too subjective. It's 'yes' or 'no'. Let's try again. Do you like being on top? 1.4251 0.03259 407 272 97 38
275 Tell me more about these two other voices you hear in your head. 1.4251 0.03087 407 263 115 29
276 Alice, can you see how sleeping on the top bunk with Irritable Bowel might upset Tim and Bobby? 1.4251 0.03350 407 277 87 43
277 Life's about getting to the top bunk, without a ladder. 1.4250 0.03538 400 281 68 51
278 Sorry for the overbooking. You can start by introducing yourselves to each other. 1.4243 0.03429 403 278 79 46
279 I think I am hearing voices. Is it just me or do you hear them too? 1.4236 0.03435 399 275 79 45
280 Let me get this straight - you have a fear of being in the middle and the bottom; you have a fear of being on top and on the bottom; you have a fear of being on top and the middle. Is that about right? 1.4236 0.03544 399 280 67 51
281 Your HMO covers 15 minutes of group therapy. 1.4236 0.03435 399 275 79 45
282 To qualify for the family discount you must speak in unison. 1.4236 0.03399 399 273 83 43
283 How does that make us feel? 1.4235 0.03308 392 264 91 37
284 On the bright side, you get to split the co-pay three ways. 1.4235 0.03588 307 200 84 23
285 Maybe we shouldn't have gotten our therapist from Costco. Fred Trenk, Towaco, New Jersey 1.4213 0.03485 394 274 74 46
286 I hear you, Megan, but it is simply not the case that student loans are bad for everyone. 1.4209 0.03517 392 274 71 47
287 I'm sorry, I thought it was clear when I said you were bunked for one session. 1.4209 0.03498 392 273 73 46
288 In these situations, I find it helpful to start a the bottom and work my way up. 1.4209 0.03082 392 252 115 25
289 You’re not alone. You’re all bedwetters. 1.4209 0.03517 392 274 71 47
290 Let’s focus today’s session on codependency. 1.4205 0.03217 390 266 90 34
291 Next session we will see how you cope when the cots are stacked against you. 1.4205 0.03473 390 270 76 44
292 Let's see we have fear of heights, middle child issues and feeling down, right ? 1.4205 0.03217 390 259 98 32
293 Which personality has health insurance? 1.4205 0.03217 390 257 102 31
294 Tell me more about why you think camp scarred you for life. 1.4197 0.03219 386 254 102 30
295 We have just enough time left for a lightning round. 1.4192 0.03347 365 242 93 30
296 You all have problems on different levels. 1.4184 0.03296 380 253 95 32
297 Look, as far as I'm concerned, you're all Mark, okay? 1.4178 0.03440 383 263 80 40
298 OK, Boomer. GenX and Millenial say you're up first. 1.4178 0.03420 383 262 82 39
299 And you'll get and even bigger discount if you all have the same phobia. 1.4178 0.03298 383 256 94 33
300 Group therapy is easier when you don’t see eye to eye 1.4171 0.03420 398 276 78 43
301 Your problems are layered 1.4169 0.03259 379 251 98 30
302 If you are afraid of heights, try arriving on time next week. 1.4169 0.03446 379 260 80 39
303 I can see we're dealing with multiple issues here. 1.4169 0.03280 379 251 96 31
304 Let's work on your obsessive desire for undivided attention. 1.4169 0.03280 379 252 96 31
305 Well, you voted for health care for all.” 1.4167 0.03588 384 272 64 48
306 Each of you has my full attention. 1.4164 0.03335 377 253 91 33
307 Your insurance provider requires you all to agree on a neurosis. 1.4160 0.03304 375 250 94 31
308 So, who first suggested couples therapy? 1.4160 0.03652 375 267 60 48
309 So, fear of heights, claustrophobic, and low self esteem. Who wants to start? 1.4160 0.03326 375 251 92 32
310 The father of psychoanalysis. Please phrase your response in the form of a question. 1.4160 0.03533 375 261 72 42
311 When did you start believing you have multiple personalities? 1.4155 0.03547 373 260 71 42
312 So, she wanted another man in bed and this is what you thought she meant? 1.4151 0.03478 371 255 78 38
313 If you think it's crowded now, imagine if he's reëlected. 1.4151 0.03478 371 255 78 38
314 Answer "yes" with thumbs up, "no" with thumbs down. 1.4151 0.03602 371 261 66 44
315 One of you is real. Two are figments. Wanna vote 1.4146 0.03596 369 259 67 43
316 I want to understand why you all think therapy is bunk. 1.4146 0.03513 369 255 75 39
317 This will go smoother if you all have the same issue. 1.4146 0.03319 369 246 93 30
318 I think there was a misunderstanding when we discussed third-party payment. 1.4146 0.03636 369 260 63 45
319 I'm not loving this Medicare for All. 1.4146 0.03274 369 244 97 28
320 Yes, dissociative identity disorder is not that uncommon, but it is rare to have such fully developed multiple personalities. 1.4146 0.03428 369 251 83 35
321 Now Jerome, tell me more about these two imaginary friends that follow you everywhere and copy everything you do. 1.4142 0.03397 367 248 86 33
322 Again, who here said my ideas are bunk? 1.4142 0.03651 367 260 62 45
323 This is how your HMO can offer a reduced "group" rate. 1.4141 0.03510 384 268 71 44
324 Billy, I when I said “try therapy”, I did not mean “tri-therapy”. 1.4141 0.03269 384 259 92 32
325 I didn't think anybody would be interested in this Groupon deal... 1.4140 0.03386 372 252 86 34
326 When did you first suspect you're not identical triplets? 1.4137 0.03252 365 240 99 26
327 So how's that menage-a-trois going? 1.4137 0.03583 365 255 69 41
328 Sorry. My appointments have really been stacking up this week. 1.4137 0.03252 365 240 99 26
329 This isn't what the 3 for 1 voucher meant ...but seen as you've gone to such trouble.. 1.4130 0.03368 368 248 88 32
330 The other two of you pretend you didn’t hear that. 1.4121 0.03674 313 212 73 28
331 Remember your ids, egos, and superergos are your three dimensional chess pieces. 1.4116 0.03517 362 250 75 37
332 William, you are high-get off the drugs. Dan, you are suffering from middle child syndrome. Dave, you have low esteem. Now I will need to make a copy of all of your insurance cards and collect your copayments before we start treatment.” 1.4115 0.03678 384 279 52 53
333 If you ask me, it's a lot of bunk 1.4115 0.03469 384 268 74 42
334 I want the adults here to consider who suffers the most if it all falls apart. 1.4111 0.03639 360 254 62 42
335 I still think you misread the groupon... 1.4111 0.03281 360 238 96 26
336 So I'm guessing... separation anxiety? 1.4111 0.03161 360 236 96 22
337 Sorry. . . But what did you expect for $45 an hour. 1.4111 0.03618 360 252 65 41
338 Sanders calls it "Medicare for All" 1.4111 0.03397 360 243 86 31
339 With our new three tear health care system the top tear can cry for 5 minutes, the middle tear for 3 minutes and the bottom tear for 1 minute. 1.4111 0.03805 360 262 48 50
340 Next week, Id rotates to Ego, and Ego rotates to Superego. 1.4110 0.05640 146 102 28 16
341 ...and my Ph.D. thesis was on The Role of IKEA in Family Dynamics. 1.4108 0.03265 370 246 96 28
342 So” How long have you all, Been sleeping together 1.4108 0.03586 370 261 66 43
343 Tell me about that day at summer camp. 1.4108 0.03545 370 259 70 41
344 Are you experiencing feelings of anxiety that life is just stacked against you? 1.4106 0.03718 358 256 57 45
345 I’m just practicing for Medicare for All 1.4106 0.03654 358 253 63 42
346 Thruples Therapy 1.4106 0.03739 358 256 55 46
347 Blame, President Sanders! 1.4106 0.03675 358 254 61 43
348 I'm sure when you voted for Medicare for All, you weren't exactly expecting stacked counseling sessions, did you. 1.4106 0.03654 358 253 63 42
349 Good morning, Ego, Id and Super-Ego!!!! 1.4106 0.03760 358 257 53 47
350 The first one to answer gets 10 points 1.4106 0.03654 358 253 63 42
351 So why do you feel that you and your friends can’t move beyond your college days? 1.4106 0.03246 358 235 99 24
352 What brings you in to thruples therapy? 1.4101 0.03647 356 251 64 41
353 Trump's "three for the price of one" healthcare plan at work. 1.4086 0.03715 350 249 59 42
354 Great work, Jane. You've mastered the corporate ladder. 1.4086 0.03603 350 244 69 37
355 I'd say all three of you are compartmentalizing. 1.4086 0.03319 350 232 93 25
356 Sorry, I've forgotten which one of you is suffering from multiple personality disorder. 1.4086 0.03737 350 250 57 43
357 Was it Jane or Bob who said they felt unheard? 1.4080 0.03332 348 231 92 25
358 Okay, let’s take a tiered approach. 1.4079 0.03225 353 231 100 22
359 It's fine. The other two are just Airbnbers. 1.4075 0.03539 319 214 80 25
360 I’ll need your 3-fer coupon before we start our session. 1.4075 0.03345 346 230 91 25
361 I'm not sure which of you asked that but I want you to know I'm here for you. 1.4075 0.03370 346 231 89 26
362 If you think Medicare for All psychology is strange, wait until you see the new Medicare for All triple bypass surgery. 1.4070 0.03530 344 236 76 32
363 Thanks for answering my questions. I've chosen Mr.Jacobs to be the new receptionist" 1.4065 0.03401 369 253 82 34
364 Contestant Number Two, how would you describe your mother in just one word, and why? 1.4063 0.03436 347 235 83 29
365 There’s a reason that we call it “tiered pricing.” 1.4059 0.03384 340 226 88 25
366 Who wants to go first. 1.4052 0.03678 343 241 63 38
367 So how have your parents' IKEA habits effected your growth? 1.4052 0.03438 343 232 83 28
368 Don’t worry. You’re not alone. 1.4052 0.03363 343 229 89 25
369 I told you this would happen when you voted to end Obama Care! 1.4052 0.03338 343 233 81 27
370 Before we begin, I'd just like to say that this is the most convincing case of multiple personality disorder I've ever seen. 1.4052 0.03286 343 226 95 22
371 For the next question on our marketing survey, please indicate whether your bed is a) too hard; b) too soft; or c) just right. 1.4047 0.03550 341 235 74 32
372 Well, what were you expecting from group therapy? 1.4047 0.03452 341 231 82 28
373 ohhhh, so when an airlines treats you like this, it's OK? 1.4047 0.03575 341 236 72 33
374 Before we get started, will this be on separate checks? 1.4047 0.03402 341 229 86 26
375 You are the three finalists of this week’s cartoon contest 1.4047 0.03599 341 237 70 34
376 How does it feel having a woman and a black man above you? 1.4041 0.03516 339 232 77 30
377 So, how is your first quarantine week going? 1.4041 0.03779 339 243 55 41
378 Tell me about the trauma you experienced at summer camp 1.4041 0.03590 339 235 71 33
379 We could all be a little more supportive about Cindy’s bed wetting. 1.4041 0.03565 339 234 73 32
380 It’s new, I like to call it collective conscience therapy! 1.4041 0.03825 339 245 51 43
381 It’s not your fault. It’s not your fault. It’s not your fault. 1.4040 0.03409 354 241 83 30
382 You'll each have 90 seconds to answer, and then an additional 60 seconds for rebuttal. 1.4036 0.03377 337 225 88 24
383 What make you say that you never get enough personal attention? 1.4036 0.03653 337 236 66 35
384 Is anyone a happy camper yet? 1.4030 0.03693 335 235 63 36
385 Please stop referring to this method as a "pyramid schema." 1.4030 0.03283 335 221 92 21
386 What did you Bernie voters think would happen under "Medicare for All?" 1.4030 0.03416 335 225 85 25
387 When did you first realise you had multiple personalities? 1.4030 0.03468 335 227 81 27
388 Psychiatry’s not an exact science, so I have decided to use “Millennial Group Therapy.” 1.4018 0.03870 331 240 49 42
389 Just remember...you’re special 1.4012 0.03549 324 221 76 27
390 And, so, if I understand you correctly, you all have the same Jewish mother. 1.4000 0.03620 325 225 70 30
391 Ok, ...let’s start from the top. 1.4000 0.03567 325 222 74 28
392 Robert, I'm sorry, our eighteen minutes and thirty three seconds are up. 1.4000 0.03261 325 212 96 17
393 So, when did you decide it would be cheaper if you all came at once? 1.4000 0.03849 325 233 52 39
394 That's not how I imagined group therapy 1.4000 0.03922 325 236 46 42
395 I just want to remind you that the Groupon is only good for your first session. 1.4000 0.03348 325 227 73 24
396 Okay. Let me know when you start hearing those voices again ... 1.4000 0.03517 335 230 76 29
397 Now, let's see if we can debunk those feelings 1.4000 0.03594 325 224 72 29
398 Surely you didn't think 'three-for-one' meant individual sessions. 1.4000 0.03514 325 221 78 26
399 So, how long have you been experiencing multiple personalities? 1.4000 0.03818 320 228 56 36
400 I like to hear separately from the superego, ego, and id during sessions 1.3994 0.03446 323 217 83 23
401 In order to comply with HIPAA, I will refer to you as top, middle and bottom. 1.3994 0.03303 323 215 86 20
402 Now Karen, you know Martha called top bunk. 1.3994 0.03965 323 237 43 43
403 I'm glad you called, summer camp trauma is my specialty. 1.3994 0.03582 323 222 73 28
404 Client number two. Same question. If I chose to proceed with a Freudian Oedipal-Complex modality, how turned on would you be to make a long-term therapy commitment? 1.3988 0.04032 321 238 38 45
405 Now what makes you think you don't have my undivided attention? 1.3988 0.03374 321 213 88 20
406 Can you describe this feeling of being in a cartoon? 1.3988 0.03808 321 229 56 36
407 So, you both are in love with Elizabeth, but Elizabeth is in love with her cat. 1.3987 0.03680 311 215 68 28
408 Well, what did you expect when you use a Groupon? 1.3970 0.03540 335 232 73 30
409 When did you start feeling no one gave you undivided attention? 1.3969 0.03577 320 220 73 27
410 Now, tell me about your fear of intimacy. 1.3969 0.02979 320 219 84 14
411 Which one of you wants the gel pedicure that comes with this week's therapy-for-three Groupon? 1.3962 0.03858 318 229 52 37
412 It just feels wrong on so many levels. 1.3962 0.03592 318 219 72 27
413 I was able to sandwich you in before my 4 o'clock. 1.3959 0.03683 293 200 70 23
414 This is all your insurance company will pay for 1.3956 0.03552 316 216 75 25
415 Now who’s idea was this therapy sharing thing ... 1.3956 0.03876 316 228 51 37
416 Yours is a uniquely common problem, I'm afraid. 1.3956 0.03928 316 230 47 39
417 Welcome to Affordable Care meets Airbnb. 1.3956 0.03495 316 214 79 23
418 The terms of this discounted therapy session were clearly delineated in your Groupon receipts. 1.3949 0.03841 314 225 54 35
419 We just feel that our anxiety levels have elevated. 1.3949 0.04023 314 232 40 42
420 I don't know how you got there either, because Schwartz can't draw ladders. 1.3949 0.03868 314 226 52 36
421 The triplets meet for their weekly therapy session. 1.3942 0.03965 312 228 45 39
422 I anly have an hour. Which one of you is the most suicidal? 1.3942 0.03751 312 220 61 31
423 You don’t need to bring each of your personalities to our sessions! 1.3942 0.03611 312 215 71 26
424 I make more, you pay less, and you can compare your misery to the other two losers. 1.3935 0.03569 310 212 74 24
425 Yes, well, your problems will become more similar over time. 1.3935 0.03712 310 215 64 29
426 In this session, we'll confront your "hostel-ity 1.3935 0.03823 310 221 56 33
427 Welcome to the bunk bed phobia support group. 1.3935 0.03823 310 221 56 33
428 Might not have been such a great idea to include your mother in the family therapy 1.3935 0.03957 310 226 46 38
429 My theories may be unconventional, but they are not debunked. 1.3935 0.03627 310 214 70 26
430 Remind me, which of you is the chronic bedwetter? 1.3935 0.03684 310 216 66 28
431 HIPPA says you can't listen to the other persons answers during individual group therapy. 1.3935 0.03850 310 222 54 34
432 Did you like being an oarsman on the Athenian trireame? 1.3922 0.04022 306 225 42 39
433 No, Shirley, I don't think all therapy is bunk." (credit to son Julian Wise 1.3922 0.03540 306 208 76 22
434 So, what do you hope to accomplish in throuples counseling? 1.3916 0.03965 309 226 45 38
435 My fee is higher for multiple personality disorder. 1.3914 0.03960 304 220 47 36
436 ...And you just now found out he isn’t your biological son... 1.3914 0.03960 304 221 47 36
437 Today, we will learn about setting healthy boundaries. 1.3907 0.03445 302 202 82 18
438 My id didn't want to come today but super-ego said we all had to." 1.3900 0.03739 300 210 63 27
439 Just pick the richest one and have the other as the best man 1.3900 0.03648 300 207 69 24
440 I think that you might be tripolar. 1.3900 0.03739 300 210 63 27
441 My specialization is Multiple Person Disorder. 1.3900 0.03827 300 213 57 30
442 Does anyone have a less boring dream? 1.3900 0.03678 300 208 67 25
443 Describe your genitals. 1.3900 0.04135 300 222 35 41
444 The hourly rate applies to all of your personalities. 1.3893 0.03989 298 217 46 35
445 Of course this is confidential. 1.3893 0.03507 298 201 78 19
446 In 'Speed Analysis' you each have 30 seconds, then I decide ... two of you will be leaving, no charge ! 1.3893 0.03571 298 203 74 21
447 You do realize that a ménage à trois doesn't have to be this difficult. 1.3893 0.04017 298 217 44 35
448 This will only work if all of you have the exact same dream. 1.3893 0.03903 298 214 52 32
449 You are messed up on so many levels! 1.3891 0.03580 293 199 74 20
450 Yes, you could get coronavirus. 1.3887 0.04069 301 223 39 39
451 Here's yet another psychological theory that has never been debunked. 1.3887 0.03699 301 210 65 26
452 And you say they’re on top of you right now?! 1.3885 0.03862 314 228 50 36
453 I couldn't fit a sectional through the door. 1.3878 0.03941 294 212 50 32
454 It’s normal - many of my patients break into tiers. 1.3878 0.03821 294 208 58 28
455 It is often beneficial to have all your alter egos at the same session. In your case, the three dome is highly therapeutic. 1.3878 0.04142 294 219 36 39
456 I would worry less about who's higher up and more about how they're going to get down. 1.3878 0.03666 294 203 68 23
457 At this rate, I’ll pay off my student loans in 3030. 1.3878 0.03821 294 208 58 28
458 So, Gretchen, let’s start with your fear of heights. 1.3878 0.03369 294 194 86 14
459 I take doctor-patient-patient-patient confidentiality very seriously. 1.3876 0.03908 258 178 60 20
460 My analysis suggests you are suffering from trizophrenia”. 1.3862 0.04098 290 214 40 36
461 Tell me more about your Groupon regret. 1.3862 0.04039 290 212 44 34
462 I want you all to level with me ... 1.3854 0.03685 288 199 67 22
463 This is not the first time I’ve counseled love triangles. 1.3854 0.03717 288 199 65 23
464 As you might have guessed, I've treated love triangles before. 1.3854 0.03585 288 196 73 19
465 The University will no longer allow our students to "fall through the cracks." Each of you has been diagnosed with underachievement syndrome. 1.3854 0.04177 288 215 35 38
466 You are all special. Just not unique. 1.3854 0.03685 288 199 67 22
467 This week, we're going to try Freud's lesser known technique: Bunk-Bed Psychoanalysis. 1.3854 0.04206 288 216 33 39
468 Why did you choose the top bunk if you’re afraid of heights? 1.3854 0.04089 288 212 41 35
469 I realize you prefer psychoanalysis, but cognitive behavioral therapy in chairs would free up space. 1.3854 0.04089 288 212 41 35
470 Mother blames father for not spending enough time at home, father blames mother because he's not getting enough, and son ends up hating them both. So we have a dysfunctional family unit. Are all of you cool with that 1.3854 0.04000 288 209 47 32
471 OK, now change places 1.3854 0.03969 288 208 49 31
472 I assure you, I feel just as bad as you do about the cut in admissions to clinical psychology. 1.3846 0.04110 286 211 40 35
473 Your insurance company has capped the number of appointments it covers, but not the number of patients. 1.3846 0.03567 286 194 74 18
474 The point is it’s not how others see you, it’s how you see yourself”. 1.3846 0.04110 286 210 40 35
475 Uh huh, uh huh, uh huh 1.3844 0.03663 294 204 67 23
476 I'm happy you've decided to take advantage of my 3 for 1 groupon deal. 1.3844 0.03694 294 205 65 24
477 Anyone can do couples therapy 1.3841 0.03575 289 197 73 19
478 Please, one at a time! This is not the democratic presidential debate. 1.3825 0.03871 285 203 55 27
479 The Groupon is only for the first session. 1.3825 0.03742 285 199 63 23
480 When did you first suspect the triplets thing was a hoax and that she's not your birth mothers? 1.3818 0.04104 275 201 43 31
481 What did you expect for $50 an hour? 1.3816 0.03922 283 202 52 28
482 I call it "Groupon Therapy." 1.3816 0.03759 283 198 62 23
483 I charge by the personality 1.3816 0.03692 283 196 66 21
484 We've been in tiers ever since coming to your office 1.3813 0.03738 278 193 64 21
485 So let me get this straight... you are each a figment of the others' imagination? 1.3808 0.03777 281 196 60 23
486 That's just how it is with insurance these days - and your problems are all basically the same anyway. 1.3808 0.03709 281 195 65 21
487 And as for you Mrs. Smith don’t for a minute think you’re above all this ! 1.3808 0.04192 281 210 34 36
488 When did your personal space and privacy issues begin? 1.3808 0.03605 281 192 71 18
489 From top to Bottom, #1,#2,#3. You are all free to contribute to the conversation if inclined. 1.3808 0.04131 281 207 39 34
490 So, what exactly did D'Artagnan do this time? 1.3808 0.04100 281 207 41 33
491 You all experienced a trauma involving a duck and an apricot. So this just seems easier. 1.3804 0.04026 276 200 47 29
492 Until we have Medicare for All, this is the way it’s gonna be! 1.3803 0.03648 284 196 68 20
493 So tell me, what makes you believe, that one of you is adopted? 1.3799 0.03622 279 191 70 18
494 Let's start with the fact that you're all obviously lying." 1.3799 0.03896 279 199 54 26
495 With this President, we just can no longer keep up. 1.3799 0.04026 279 203 46 30
496 And how do you feel your bed wetting has effected the people around you? 1.3799 0.03829 279 197 58 24
497 We're calling it 'threeapy'. 1.3799 0.03692 279 193 66 20
498 Okay, now let me get this straight. It's Id, Ego, and Super-ego. Which of you is which? 1.3799 0.04121 279 206 40 33
499 This is what happens in a love triangle... 1.3799 0.03761 279 195 62 22
500 I have treated people with multiple personalities before, but this is a first for me: Treating three people who share a single personality. 1.3799 0.03829 279 197 58 24
501 There's really nothing to this "middle child sydrome." 1.3799 0.04152 279 205 38 34
502 At least two of you are delusional. 1.3796 0.05687 137 99 24 14
503 I'm sorry for the overbooking but Trump Derangement Syndrome is reaching epidemic proportions! 1.3791 0.03949 277 199 51 27
504 Fine, I guess I should have gone into more detail about the kind of three-way I had in mind. 1.3791 0.03779 277 194 61 22
505 Do you all have a buzzer? 1.3791 0.04111 277 204 41 32
506 You all seem to be suffering from single personality disorder. 1.3791 0.04079 277 203 43 31
507 Well Harry, I see you've brought all of your personalities with you today. 1.3791 0.03848 277 196 57 24
508 Will this be on one or separate checks? 1.3791 0.03982 277 200 49 28
509 It's down to you three finalists. Now let's see who has the most interesting relationship with their mother. 1.3791 0.03674 277 191 67 19
510 First off, thank you for taking advantage of my Groupon offer. 1.3791 0.03915 277 198 53 26
511 Let’s take it from the top so we can get to the bottom of this. 1.3782 0.03655 275 189 68 18
512 And how did that make you, you, and you feel? 1.3782 0.03798 275 193 60 22
513 Now how does that make you, you, and you feel? 1.3782 0.03867 275 195 56 24
514 I feel like I'm competing for your attention. 1.3782 0.04132 275 203 40 32
515 Do you ever have feelings of loneliness? 1.3782 0.04228 275 206 34 35
516 You clearly have multiple personalities. 1.3782 0.04196 275 205 36 34
517 My practice is vertically integrated. 1.3782 0.04002 275 199 48 28
518 the university said it was a free counseling session, not private. 1.3782 0.03655 275 189 68 18
519 After a couple sessions, most people are completely comfortable with group therapy. 1.3782 0.04002 275 199 48 28
520 Thank you all for trying out my ‘TherapyPool’ session 1.3782 0.04164 275 204 38 33
521 Today let's begin with the issue of why Linda always gets the top bunk. 1.3782 0.03619 275 188 70 17
522 So who is writing the check this week? 1.3782 0.04164 275 204 38 33
523 Tell me about your struggles to fit in. 1.3782 0.04164 275 204 38 33
524 Complete this sentence: My mother ... 1.3782 0.04164 275 203 38 33
525 The middle berth is giving birth for the other berths? 1.3782 0.04259 275 207 32 36
526 Did you say "polyhumorous"? 1.3782 0.04068 275 201 44 30
527 Volume discount? Yes. 1.3773 0.03635 273 187 69 17
528 This new group therapy model takes the shared economy to new heights. 1.3773 0.04218 273 204 35 34
529 It’s all your mother’s fault. 1.3773 0.03816 273 192 59 22
530 Thank you for sharing that, Sarah. Now, let’s hear what your other personalities want to say about your mother. 1.3773 0.03886 273 194 55 23
531 Welcome to 2020 couples therapy. They, you can start. 1.3769 0.03829 268 188 59 21
532 Welcome to Medicare for all!! 1.3764 0.03906 271 193 54 24
533 This is the only therapy your insurance covers- top bunk you’re first. 1.3764 0.04077 271 197 44 29
534 I'm hungry for a bacon. lettuce and tomato sandwich. 1.3764 0.04241 271 203 34 34
535 OK Who farted? 1.3764 0.04110 271 199 42 30
536 Congrats on signing up for Counseling with The Costco App. 1.3764 0.03690 271 187 66 18
537 I’m happy we have last weeks finalists all together. A recount of the votes shouldn’t take too much longer. 1.3764 0.04209 271 202 36 33
538 Don't be embarrassed, I am seeing more and more cases of Tiny Home Syndrome. 1.3764 0.03975 271 195 50 26
539 Oh, don't worry about that. Everything we discuss remains confidential. 1.3764 0.03615 271 185 70 16
540 Yeah, I see your point. Sitting in a circle is the way to go. 1.3764 0.03799 271 190 60 21
541 They want me to get more billable hours. 1.3764 0.04043 271 197 46 28
542 Remind me which of you has anxiety induced bed wetting ? 1.3755 0.03960 269 193 51 25
543 Now, who has the bed-wetting problem? 1.3755 0.03890 269 194 50 24
544 Mr. Simmons. Would you say you feel under your boss? 1.3755 0.04198 269 199 37 32
545 Obviously, we'll start with the middle child. 1.3755 0.03632 269 184 69 16
546 This is a three tiered question.. 1.3755 0.03890 269 191 55 23
547 Yes, I'm a shrink and also an AirB&B hostess. 1.3755 0.04030 269 195 47 27
548 Might it be that you haven't moved on from college? 1.3755 0.03593 269 183 71 15
549 Okay, in our last session one of you passed me a note complaining about minorities and women always getting higher positions than they deserve. Let's explore that. 1.3755 0.03854 269 190 57 22
550 I think you're problems are a lot of bunk! 1.3750 0.05764 128 92 24 12
551 Okay, now we're all settled, welcome to sibling therapy 1.3745 0.03837 267 188 58 21
552 You are here because you've been caught lying. 1.3745 0.04016 267 193 48 26
553 So Tommy, you're upset your parents are fighting. Karen, you're worried your son is acting out in school, and Greg, you're worried about the structural integrity of this triple couch? 1.3745 0.03531 267 180 74 13
554 Gee Bernie, this Medicare for all isn't exactly what I had in mind. 1.3745 0.04120 267 196 42 29
555 Tell me Karen, how does being on top finally feel?” 1.3745 0.03837 267 188 58 21
556 It appears this pecking order is headed by the queen. 1.3745 0.04120 267 196 42 29
557 How do you think I stack up as a therapist? 1.3740 0.03773 262 182 62 18
558 Welcome to Group Therapy For Introverts. 1.3736 0.04142 265 194 41 29
559 OK, listen—if this is going to work, you each need to quit offering advice to the others! 1.3736 0.03705 265 183 65 17
560 I can see you're familiar with Maslow's hierarchy of couches. 1.3736 0.03929 265 189 53 23
561 This is the only way I can make ends meet on the hourly rate your insurance is willing to pay. 1.3736 0.03819 265 192 50 23
562 I understand you're hearing voices. 1.3736 0.03705 265 192 52 20
563 Before we begin, Who is rock, who is paper and who is scissors? 1.3736 0.04142 265 195 41 29
564 Thanks for asking—I used to be a couples' therapist, but I've recently been promoted. 1.3736 0.03856 265 187 57 21
565 And how does it feel, hating each other's mothers? 1.3736 0.03781 265 185 61 19
566 I know sometimes people can feel uncomfortable with group therapy, but trust me, it can really help. 1.3736 0.04311 265 200 31 34
567 Helen, are you always on top? 1.3726 0.04233 263 196 36 31
568 You may want to consider transferring to a less hostel work environment. 1.3726 0.03986 263 189 50 24
569 Ego, Superego, that question was actually meant for Id. 1.3726 0.03683 263 181 66 16
570 Why do you feel our time together is all bunk? 1.3726 0.03722 263 182 64 17
571 Karen, in our previous session you mentioned that you always feel overshadowed in your marriage. So I thought it might help today to start with you on top of John and Bill. 1.3726 0.04164 263 194 40 29
572 So, is it true you all became depressed at the same time, Peter, Paul and Mary? 1.3726 0.03875 263 186 56 21
573 So, claustrophobia, an inferiority complex and a fear of heights... Do you think you could rearrange yourselves so I can remember who's who? 1.3716 0.03538 261 176 73 12
574 You wanted universal health care; you got universal health care! 1.3716 0.04151 261 192 41 28
575 Welcome to court mandated therapy. Unfortunately we are experiencing budget cuts. 1.3707 0.03838 259 182 58 19
576 Welcome to HMO health insurance. 1.3696 0.04012 257 185 49 23
577 So, Carolyn, how does it feel to finally be able to talk over men? 1.3696 0.03818 257 180 59 18
578 So who here has the inferiority complex? 1.3696 0.04087 257 187 45 25
579 So you're having trouble sleeping? 1.3696 0.04160 257 189 41 27
580 On a scale of 1-to-3, how would you rate your fear of bed wetting. 1.3696 0.04339 257 193 31 32
581 I think you might have codependency issues. 1.3696 0.03485 257 178 67 12
582 Polygamy can cause many issues with communicating in a relationship. 1.3696 0.04269 257 192 35 30
583 I know this isn't ideal, but it's all your HMOs will cover. 1.3696 0.03818 257 180 59 18
584 It appears to be a classic case of MPR..Multiple Personality Reversal 1.3686 0.04399 255 194 28 33
585 Triage Done. No Small Talk. 1.3686 0.04257 255 190 36 29
586 No, I can’t 1.3686 0.04364 255 193 30 32
587 You’re just plain nuts, nuts, nuts. 1.3686 0.04071 255 185 46 24
588 For any of you, how long have you felt "not special"? 1.3686 0.03755 255 177 62 16
589 Insurance only pays a third of my fee 1.3686 0.04220 255 189 38 28
590 You all seem to feel nobody treats you as an individual. 1.3686 0.03877 255 180 56 19
591 This looks like a case of stack home syndrome. 1.3686 0.04328 255 192 32 31
592 Sorry, I overbooked. How does that make you feel? 1.3686 0.03877 255 180 56 19
593 Maybe I could have been clearer about our three for one special offer. 1.3686 0.03995 255 181 50 22
594 Numbers one through three, when did you first start to feel like you're not special? 1.3686 0.03755 255 177 62 16
595 Why do you feel that you are always competing for attention? 1.3686 0.04033 255 184 48 23
596 I got this idea from some pirates I met on the subway. 1.3676 0.04317 253 190 33 30
597 Psychoanalysis can work on multiple levels. 1.3676 0.03647 253 173 67 13
598 This works out even better when you use Uber Pool. 1.3676 0.04389 253 192 29 32
599 I wasn’t quite sure which one of you said you hated your mother. I’ll just indicate in my notes that all 3 of you feel the same way, ok? 1.3676 0.04244 253 188 37 28
600 For an additional fee you can have more legroom. 1.3672 0.03825 256 178 57 17
601 You don't get to vote. It's my thermostat. 1.3665 0.03958 251 179 52 20
602 hey hey hey 1.3665 0.04556 251 195 20 36
603 What’s your first memory of Groupon? 1.3665 0.04268 251 187 36 28
604 Coulda, shoulda, woulda: Next! 1.3665 0.03917 251 178 54 19
605 It appears there are numerous layers to the issue. 1.3665 0.03751 251 174 62 15
606 Okay so you’ve all had the same parents—— And? 1.3665 0.04230 251 186 38 27
607 Corporate pressures. I'm sure you'll understand. 1.3665 0.04305 251 186 33 29
608 And you’re sure the voices you’re hearing aren’t each other’s? 1.3665 0.03917 251 178 54 19
609 Who wants to start us off? Id? Ego? Super Ego? 1.3661 0.03844 254 179 57 18
610 Doc, I’m trying to be open minded but this seems like a lot of bunk. 1.3661 0.03924 254 181 53 20
611 Alright then, Bachelor # 3... 1.3661 0.04192 254 188 39 27
612 …but on the street it's known as Maslow's bunk bed of therapy. 1.3661 0.04374 254 193 29 32
613 Why? the landlord just tripled my rent. 1.3661 0.03844 254 179 57 18
614 Three Musketeers Disorder” is pretty rare, but I think I can help you. 1.3655 0.03978 249 178 51 19
615 When did the "ménage à trois" start to feel like a "je ne sais quoi" ? 1.3655 0.03812 249 174 59 16
616 Now, feel free to comment on each other's problems. It's called collaborative-scaffolding. I find that it triples my profits while freeing me up to do my grocery list. 1.3655 0.03978 249 178 51 20
617 trickle-down psychoanalysis 1.3655 0.03854 249 175 57 17
618 so, why DO the two of you keep calling her Shemp? 1.3651 0.04399 252 192 28 32
619 And Jane, How do you feel Darrell feels about what Scott says he’s feeling? 1.3644 0.03701 247 170 64 13
620 Go on, this is just between you and me and him and her 1.3644 0.03832 247 173 58 16
621 Let's start at the bottom and work our way up. 1.3644 0.03958 247 176 52 19
622 Your childhood sounds rough, but your mother is getting a great deal on this. 1.3644 0.03917 247 175 54 18
623 I’m afraid that you face very real dangers if we debunk Freud’s theories 1.3644 0.04278 247 184 36 27
624 Your problems are not unique. 1.3644 0.03832 247 173 58 15
625 Between the budget cuts and the lip service we give to inclusive excellence, this is how it's going to be. Get used to it. 1.3644 0.04392 247 187 30 30
626 I understand the three of you have some unresolved summer camp issues. 1.3636 0.03928 242 171 54 17
627 Honestly, George, I don’t know why you threw paper. 1.3633 0.04418 245 186 29 30
628 I'm going to have to ask the Id to stop impulsively answering all my questions and allow the Ego and Super-ego a chance to speak. 1.3633 0.03979 245 175 51 19
629 Get to the point, guys, Three-for-One-Thursday ends in three minutes. 1.3633 0.04303 245 183 35 27
630 My specialty is menage a trois. 1.3633 0.04144 245 179 43 23
631 Interesting, you all subscribe to The New Yorker. 1.3633 0.04021 245 176 49 20
632 No...no discounts, unless you all have the same neuroses! 1.3621 0.04085 243 175 46 21
633 What do you mean when you say you feel like your parents are always hovering over you? 1.3621 0.04043 243 175 48 20
634 Let’s get started on our first Medicare For All session 1.3621 0.03958 243 175 49 19
635 What makes you think you don't stack up? 1.3621 0.03871 243 171 56 16
636 All of you are telling me a lot of bunk. 1.3621 0.04288 243 181 36 26
637 Top bunk, you go first- What’s the worst thing you’ve ever done? 1.3621 0.04248 243 180 38 25
638 ‘First, I apologize. I’ll shut down my Groupon offer tomorrow." 1.3610 0.04023 241 173 49 19
639 Dr. Schneider's airbnb had certain drawbacks. 1.3610 0.04108 241 175 45 21
640 Welcome to your Groupon session. 1.3610 0.03892 241 170 55 16
641 Today, let’s work on your multiple personalities disorder. 1.3610 0.04023 241 173 49 19
642 Your problems are stacking up aren't they ? 1.3610 0.03847 241 169 57 15
643 Okay, who's the id this time? 1.3610 0.03802 241 168 59 14
644 One of you has a fear of the unknown. 1.3610 0.04353 241 181 33 27
645 Let me explain how the group discount works. 1.3598 0.03681 239 164 64 11
646 Alright then, who wants to go first? 1.3598 0.04536 239 184 24 31
647 The other two are from Airbnb. 1.3598 0.03912 239 169 54 16
648 Bob and Ted; how does having the woman on top make you feel? First one to ring the buzzer! 1.3598 0.04088 239 173 46 20
649 No no, two claps are for Paul, not for you Janice - You're not above anyone else. 1.3598 0.04379 239 178 32 27
650 I think the three of you are taking much too literally your 1st grade promise to be “best friends forever”. 1.3598 0.04088 239 173 46 20
651 How connected do you feel to the people around you? 1.3598 0.04045 239 172 48 19
652 It's the new Medicare for all guidelines. 1.3598 0.04298 239 178 36 25
653 So, I see we're making progress on the separation anxiety. 1.3598 0.03728 239 165 62 12
654 Who is the manager of this trois ? 1.3598 0.04419 239 181 30 28
655 I apologize for the inconvenience but my insurance dictates that I see x number of patients per day. 1.3598 0.04173 239 175 42 22
656 Now, about this feeling that the odds are stacked against you... 1.3598 0.04338 239 179 34 26
657 When did you begin to suspect you had three personalities? 1.3598 0.04298 239 178 36 25
658 Do all three of you think you have intimacy issues? 1.3598 0.04338 239 179 34 26
659 Your first mother is free. There’s a $10 per hour charge for each stepmother. 1.3598 0.04497 239 183 26 30
660 Susan, tell us about your elevated sense of anxiety in this relationship. 1.3598 0.04338 239 179 34 26
661 I want you to relax, close your eyes, and think of your favorite character from Star Trek. 1.3598 0.04458 239 182 28 29
662 Tiered insurance. Wait your turn. 1.3595 0.03834 242 170 57 15
663 How often do these summer camp nightmares re-occur? 1.3595 0.03834 242 170 57 15
664 I don't think this group rate experiment is such a good idea. 1.3595 0.04493 242 185 25 31
665 Let me explain: like hot air, transference rises. 1.3595 0.04337 242 182 33 27
666 Get ready contestants, the next question is worth $5000! 1.3595 0.04531 242 186 23 32
667 When did you first begin to think there were three of you ? 1.3595 0.03922 242 172 53 17
668 Well this isn't how I usually treat Middle Child Syndrome, but Peter why don't you start by sharing your point of view. 1.3595 0.04009 242 174 49 19
669 My office is a safe place for tiers. 1.3592 0.03889 245 174 54 17
670 If one of you can come up with a better idea to reduce my student debt,I’m all ears. 1.3586 0.04154 237 173 43 21
671 Yes, it's your mother's fault. Next question? 1.3586 0.04023 237 170 49 18
672 Ok, which of you feels the most alone? 1.3586 0.04525 237 181 25 30
673 No, George, you are not back in basic training! 1.3586 0.04445 237 179 28 28
674 On a scale of 1 to 3...... 1.3586 0.04067 237 171 47 19
675 Now that you are in a deep sleep, repeat after me: " We are all individuals" 1.3586 0.04445 237 180 28 28
676 Yes, you will get the family discount. 1.3586 0.03841 237 166 57 14
677 Please relax and welcome to your High Anxiety, Mid-life Crisis, Low Self Esteem Therapy Group. 1.3583 0.03899 240 170 54 16
678 Actually, I'm more of a Jenga-ian. 1.3574 0.04306 235 175 36 24
679 I find it interesting that you all claim that you feel like you don’t “stack up.” 1.3574 0.03954 235 167 52 15
680 I am sure you now realize, you all qualified for the group rate. 1.3574 0.03954 235 167 52 16
681 On page 13, paragraph 5, it states your session can be hosted simultaneously. Now who wants to go first? 1.3574 0.04472 235 179 28 28
682 I'm glad I was able to squeeze you all in. 1.3574 0.03766 235 163 60 12
683 I'm sorry, but your health insurance will only pay for semi-private therapy. 1.3574 0.04178 235 172 42 21
684 Try to solve one problem and two more show up. 1.3562 0.03929 233 165 53 15
685 I’m sorry, but the ad did say Groupon counseling. 1.3562 0.03929 233 165 53 15
686 So we're trying this new form of more comfortable group therapy. 1.3537 0.04384 229 171 33 24
687 I'm glad I could slot you all in this afternoon. 1.3537 0.03874 229 161 55 13
688 O.K. Subject. Mother always liked me best. Go! 1.3537 0.03824 229 160 57 12
689 Please state your names 1.3537 0.04384 229 172 33 24
690 Billy, your parents say you don't understand them and they want be treated like grown ups. 1.3537 0.04340 229 171 35 23
691 He did say he was going to go above and beyond in 2020 1.3524 0.04626 227 175 22 29
692 I don’t think he liked it when we called him Mickey. 1.3524 0.04584 227 175 24 28
693 Please, no more interruptions or double talk. 1.3524 0.04584 227 175 24 28
694 It's what the insurance company approved. 1.3524 0.03944 227 161 52 14
695 It's hard being the middle child. 1.3524 0.03894 227 160 54 13
696 Which one of you just whispered "psychology is a lot of bunk?" 1.3524 0.03844 227 162 49 14
697 Just know you're not alone. 1.3524 0.03844 227 159 56 12
698 Let's address this love triangle once and for all. 1.3524 0.03793 227 158 58 11
699 Number 2, how do feel about what number 1 said about number 3? 1.3524 0.04137 227 165 44 18
700 Crap! Only 33% this time 1.3524 0.04584 227 175 24 28
701 So you all have triplet telepathy? Who's the bitch with the problem? 1.3524 0.04668 227 176 20 30
702 How long have you felt you were one person? 1.3524 0.03741 227 157 60 10
703 Hoe long have you experienced this inferiority triplex? 1.3524 0.04626 227 176 22 29
704 Yes, Perhaps, No. 1.3524 0.03993 227 162 50 15
705 Yes, our office manager uses a computer, but I will still be billing you in triplicate. 1.3524 0.04541 227 174 26 27
706 ...and Lucy, how do you feel about Paul’s mother? 1.3524 0.04137 227 165 44 18
707 Welcome to Psychoanalysis For All brought to you by Medicare For All. 1.3524 0.03993 227 162 50 15
708 Which of you gets the gestalt in this grouping? 1.3524 0.04411 227 171 32 24
709 All of you are here because you don't know why you have a penis. 1.3524 0.04626 227 176 22 29
710 If you think they care what you're saying, you really shouldn't be in the narcissist's group session. 1.3516 0.05154 128 90 31 7
711 Let me start by debunking some misconceptions about group therapy. 1.3511 0.03813 225 157 57 11
712 Would anyone like refreshments? Buy three and get one free! 1.3511 0.04656 225 175 21 29
713 Please just take turns talking. Your managed care company only allows you ten minutes each. 1.3511 0.04438 225 169 30 24
714 I’m going to need a bigger notebook. 1.3511 0.03813 225 157 57 11
715 I'm afraid our times are about up. 1.3511 0.03760 225 162 49 13
716 Your therapy share discount will be applied on each session 1.3511 0.04348 225 168 35 22
717 I wonder whether it's professionally acceptable to use mass production outside Massachusetts? 1.3511 0.04482 225 171 29 25
718 Boys and girls, welcome to the GOP’s version of bunkbed psychiatry. 1.3511 0.04613 225 174 23 28
719 Bunk beds were on closeout. 1.3511 0.04526 225 172 27 26
720 Number 2, where would you take your psychiatrist for a once-in-a-lifetime trip? 1.3511 0.04065 225 162 47 16
721 I’m sorry but one of you should be Asian or Hispanic. 1.3511 0.03543 225 163 51 11
722 I think you misunderstood what 'co-pay' means. 1.3511 0.04208 225 165 41 19
723 whose turn 1.3511 0.04526 225 172 27 26
724 Welcome to our new Identity Psychiatry program. 1.3511 0.04613 225 173 23 28
725 I'm all for the economy and efficiency of group therapy, but perhaps it's not a good fit for such diversity. 1.3511 0.04526 225 172 27 26
726 I only want to hear from the middle child. 1.3511 0.03813 225 157 57 11
727 Today we will try to debunk some myths about group therapy. 1.3511 0.04015 225 161 49 15
728 Is anyone not part of Acme Discount Insurance? 1.3511 0.04526 225 172 27 26
729 These multi personality psychoanalysis sessions are getting harder and harder these days. 1.3511 0.04526 225 171 27 26
730 Let's start from the top so we can get to the bottom of this. 1.3500 0.04076 220 158 47 15
731 I'm sorry but I cannot accommodate a ménage á quatre. 1.3498 0.04686 223 173 20 29
732 Interesting. John, how does that make Karen feel? 1.3498 0.03833 223 161 47 13
733 My professional diagnosis is high anxiety, claustrophobia, and low self esteem 1.3498 0.03885 223 157 54 12
734 This is the Iowa Caucus it doesn’t have to be this difficult. 1.3498 0.04643 223 173 22 28
735 Managed Care 1.3498 0.04420 223 168 32 23
736 Assessment: ? Attachment Disorder? 1.3498 0.04599 223 171 24 27
737 Potential Client #2, do you have any traumatic childhood memories? 1.3498 0.04643 223 173 22 28
738 And I thought couples therapy was difficult... 1.3498 0.04038 223 160 48 15
739 You could make millions of dollars! Wait, forget i said that. Just,um,leave it here and don't tell anyone about it. 1.3498 0.04686 223 174 20 29
740 Man, this study is a great way to catch up on my sleep 1.3498 0.04510 223 170 28 24
741 Always remember, you're a unique, wonderful person. Each one of you. 1.3498 0.04088 223 160 46 16
742 Let's focus on hierarchical issues today. 1.3498 0.03833 223 156 56 11
743 This is a classic example of Middle Child Syndrome. 1.3486 0.03888 218 153 54 11
744 Separate checks? 1.3486 0.03833 218 152 56 10
745 What was there about Medicare for all that you didn't understand? 1.3486 0.04048 218 156 48 14
746 Bob finally got his wish of having a threesome. 1.3486 0.04251 218 160 40 18
747 So when did you first notice you had multiple personalities? 1.3486 0.04446 218 164 32 22
748 I hear you. I hear you. I hear you. 1.3486 0.03995 218 155 50 13
749 And how did that make you ALL feel? 1.3486 0.03995 218 155 50 13
750 This raises "split personality" to a whole new level. 1.3486 0.03300 218 154 54 7
751 Is this going to be one bill, or separate checks? 1.3486 0.03995 218 155 50 13
752 Don't tell me--your mothers said you were special. 1.3486 0.04493 218 165 30 23
753 You are hearing voices? Good! We are finally making some progress. 1.3484 0.03906 221 156 53 12
754 So, one of you is just the, Lyft driver? 1.3484 0.04111 221 160 45 16
755 Focus on yourself 1.3484 0.03958 221 157 51 13
756 Please think quietly about your problems, and then I'll prescribe everyone antidepressants. 1.3484 0.04010 221 158 49 14
757 When I agreed to be your counselor, I wasn't aware you meant a camp counselor. 1.3484 0.04010 221 158 49 14
758 Play sick! 1.3484 0.04629 221 171 23 27
759 But what do you 'Polyamo-need'? 1.3484 0.04629 221 171 23 27
760 If you’re thinking ‘A- Maze-ing’, I’m not either. 1.3472 0.04616 216 166 25 25
761 I apologize for the typo. This was to be a group session for compulsive stalkers. 1.3472 0.04522 216 164 29 23
762 Oh, yes, it was mentioned at the bottom of the coupon. 1.3472 0.04071 216 155 47 14
763 Thank you all for participating in my volume discount plan. 1.3472 0.03853 216 157 45 12
764 Ok, starting at the top, tell me more about the issues you are having with socialized medicine. 1.3472 0.03909 216 152 53 11
765 A human centipede? Damn ... that's messed up. 1.3470 0.04704 219 171 20 28
766 Welcome to the bed wetting diversion therapy group. 1.3470 0.04284 219 162 38 19
767 Lugers take your mark. Now get set... 1.3470 0.04704 219 170 20 28
768 The whole family in tiers—I’m listening 1.3470 0.03927 219 155 52 12
769 On a scale of one to ten, how are you feeling today? I'd just like an average score for the three of you? 1.3470 0.03927 219 155 52 12
770 A democrat has a strong chance in 2020. You likely will not get coronavirus. However, your mom has a point and maybe you should sign up for JDate. 1.3470 0.04381 219 164 34 21
771 I know, we all want to be the Jonas Brothers. 1.3470 0.04614 219 169 24 26
772 I assure you this is entirely confidential 1.3458 0.03930 214 151 52 11
773 Mmm ... I never thought family therapy would give me company... 1.3458 0.04599 214 164 26 24
774 So let's see. Is this transition going upward or downward? 1.3458 0.04599 214 164 26 24
775 This week, I want us to talk about how the hell Kathy got up there without a ladder 1.3458 0.04200 214 156 42 16
776 Just remember, you're never alone with schizophrenia. 1.3458 0.04303 214 158 38 18
777 And you think psychoanalysis is a lot of bunk? 1.3458 0.04040 214 153 48 13
778 So, lets get started, and thank you for using Groupon. 1.3458 0.04200 214 156 42 15
779 In case you're wondering, this is my accelerated plan to retirement 1.3458 0.04252 214 157 40 17
780 It's cheaper and you can make new friends! 1.3458 0.03874 214 150 54 10
781 Your Highness,as you stroll through your kingdom,it might help if your subjects saw you wearing pants 1.3458 0.04693 214 166 22 26
782 Starting from the top, how does that make you feel? 1.3458 0.04040 214 156 44 14
783 I believe this has gone well beyond co-dependency. 1.3458 0.04200 214 156 42 16
784 I'll be honest, this is first time I've counseled a menage a trois 1.3458 0.04303 214 158 38 18
785 And how long have you had these three distinct personalities? 1.3458 0.04404 214 160 34 20
786 So, the problem seems to be one personality with multiple patients. 1.3458 0.04252 214 157 40 17
787 Are you sure you want to talk about your multiple personalities while they are here? 1.3456 0.04210 217 159 41 17
788 Yes, you can bunk on it. 1.3443 0.04581 212 162 27 23
789 So, you were saying you don't feel valued? 1.3443 0.04225 212 155 41 16
790 Would you say anything else if we were alone? 1.3443 0.03952 212 150 51 11
791 Weere all verrysad here xx today that1 1.3443 0.04819 212 167 17 28
792 Your insurance only covers family therapy, so this is the model we have to use. One of you is the victim, one has to be co-dependant, and of course, it will all be the mother’s fault. 1.3443 0.04225 212 155 41 16
793 How thoughtful to bring your own couch 1.3443 0.04381 212 158 35 19
794 First there was Uber ride sharing, then therapist Groupons. What's next? 1.3443 0.04482 212 159 31 21
795 You think this is bad?? TrumpCare originally wrote off psychotherapy altogether 1.3443 0.04172 212 154 43 15
796 As your throuples therapist, let me say, "Welcome, welcome, welcome." 1.3443 0.04172 212 154 43 15
797 This idea came to me when I worked as a camp counselor during college. 1.3443 0.04432 212 159 33 20
798 Let's start with your mother. From top to bottom. 1.3443 0.04225 212 155 41 16
799 And now the same question to number 2 1.3443 0.04330 212 157 37 18
800 ''One bill?" 1.3443 0.04118 212 153 45 14
801 Don't tell me, tell your HMO. 1.3429 0.04031 210 150 48 12
802 I think we'll first need to address the issue of boundaries. 1.3429 0.03858 210 147 54 9
803 Since you suffer from multiple personalities, I'll be billing you three times. 1.3429 0.04660 210 160 24 24
804 I've gathered you here because you've all dreamed of being human playing cards in a game of three-card monte. 1.3413 0.04591 208 159 27 22
805 Lets be clear- There is no buy two get one free for three therapy sessions at the same time. It wouldn't be professional ! 1.3413 0.04741 208 160 21 25
806 Let’s discuss feelings of inadequacy that arose after a seventy-eight-year-old white guy pushed you gay/black/female folks out of the running for the Democratic nomination. 1.3413 0.04331 208 154 37 16
807 Unfortunately, the decrease in Medicare reimbursement has forced me to rearrange my patient schedule 1.3413 0.03878 208 146 53 9
808 OK, so it’s a ménage a trois but you still get 3 separate bills. 1.3413 0.04054 208 149 47 12
809 No, I said you should all be on 'meds'. 1.3413 0.04277 208 153 39 16
810 When I suggested spending more time with friends, this is not exactly what I had in mind 1.3412 0.04071 211 152 46 13
811 Just remember that you're not alone. 1.3399 0.04118 203 146 45 12
812 Well, you begged me to squeeze you in today. 1.3398 0.04192 206 150 42 14
813 Mary, why do you feel that being part of a thruple means you have to do everything with Peter and Paul? 1.3398 0.04019 206 147 48 11
814 What's your problem? What's your problem? And what's your problem? 1.3398 0.04358 206 153 36 17
815 What will it be? One patient or twenty minutes each. 1.3398 0.03899 206 145 52 9
816 You have multiple personality disorder, but that's normal for multiple people. 1.3398 0.04078 206 148 46 12
817 Ok I’m gonna ask if any of you have been having suicidal thoughts, majority rules on this one. 1.3398 0.04304 206 152 38 16
818 Shoulda... coulda... woulda... Next!! 1.3398 0.04192 206 150 42 14
819 This one our last mouse, i hope it works this time! 1.3397 0.04572 209 159 27 22
820 Ground rule #1: Never debunk one another. 1.3397 0.04419 209 157 33 19
821 I know who farted, actually. 1.3390 0.04449 177 128 38 11
822 He already has @ name and trademark: the Ratjetpack 1.3382 0.04756 204 159 21 24
823 Just out of curiosity, how much does Costco charge you for these sessions? 1.3382 0.04042 204 146 47 11
824 No, I do not see your issues as a lot of bunk. 1.3382 0.04218 204 149 41 14
825 Welcome to the next meeting of Bed Wetters Anonymous. Ready to start? Who wants to go first? 1.3382 0.04274 204 150 39 15
826 Update on your insurance coverage. You each have twenty minutes, or sixty minutes talking at the same time. 1.3382 0.04218 204 152 37 15
827 This would be a lot easier if you had the same mother. 1.3382 0.04274 204 150 39 15
828 Of course we can afford medicare for all 1.3382 0.04101 204 147 45 12
829 The cost of office space has tripled, so this is my work around 1.3382 0.04218 204 149 41 14
830 Your insurance won't cover individual sessions. So, how does that make each of you feel. 1.3382 0.04386 204 152 35 17
831 I suspect multiple personality disorder. Which one of you has insurance? 1.3382 0.04160 204 148 43 13
832 Trust me, you will appreciate it more when my fee is split 3 ways. 1.3382 0.04101 204 149 42 13
833 HMO Psychoanalysis 1.3382 0.04386 204 152 35 16
834 You share the same psychosis, so why not? 1.3382 0.04160 204 148 43 13
835 You can each have an ego. It doesn't have to be just one of you. 1.3382 0.04160 204 148 43 13
836 No one loves you ...same problem you all three have... that’s why I gave you a discount ! 1.3382 0.04331 204 151 37 16
837 Kathleen, tell me, why do you feel that Doug and Brian are beneath you? 1.3382 0.03921 204 144 51 9
838 The group rate allows you to express your feelings in series or parallel. 1.3382 0.04042 204 146 47 11
839 So... you're all in a bit of a bunk? 1.3382 0.04705 204 158 23 23
840 This is my first polygamist marriage counseling session, so I've made some adjustments. 1.3382 0.04331 204 151 37 16
841 How about Cancun this year,Puerto Rico next year and Barbados to follow? 1.3382 0.04601 204 156 27 21
842 Well, you DID purchase your sessions through Groupon. 1.3382 0.04101 204 147 45 12
843 Who farted? 1.3382 0.04499 207 157 30 20
844 I am glad you all took on the 3 for 1 promotion. 1.3366 0.04414 202 151 34 17
845 I’ll cut my fees in three. 1.3366 0.04789 202 158 20 24
846 Have you considered switching Martha to the middle bunk to save your threesome? 1.3366 0.04358 202 150 36 16
847 Yes, last weeks finalists bad, but I don't think your captions are any funnier. 1.3366 0.04632 202 155 26 21
848 Your mother, huh? Let’s just start from the top. 1.3366 0.04185 202 147 42 13
849 I think you'll find the ad clearly stated three for the price of one 1.3366 0.04185 202 147 42 13
850 There's always a catch with a Groupon voucher. 1.3366 0.04358 202 150 36 16
851 I would love to help you all,but the odds are stacked against that. 1.3366 0.04185 202 147 42 13
852 Now, do you see how much you have in common? 1.3366 0.03880 202 142 52 8
853 I’ve decided to take group therapy to new heights. 1.3366 0.04301 202 149 38 15
854 I promised you'd start to see things from a new perspective. That'll be twelve-thousand dollars. 1.3366 0.04414 202 151 34 17
855 John dear, I think what you’re trying to communicate is that you “feel” as if your parents are on top of you. Is that correct? 1.3366 0.04185 202 147 42 13
856 Well, it looks like your three hours are up. 1.3366 0.04243 202 148 40 14
857 What we have here is failure to separate. 1.3366 0.03942 202 143 50 9
858 How would you feel if you were all on the same level? 1.3350 0.04254 197 144 40 13
859 I'm sorry, Janet. Michael's problems are more interesting this week, so you'll need to give him the top couch. 1.3350 0.04270 200 147 39 14
860 One of you is Id. One of you is Ego. One of you is Superego. After the count of three shout out which you think you are. 1.3350 0.04386 200 149 35 16
861 I’m not sure I’ve ever heard of tri-polar disorder?” 1.3333 0.04175 198 144 42 12
862 You are working through your codependence very nicely, Clarence. You may move up one tier. Gertrude, please move down. 1.3333 0.04175 198 144 42 12
863 Look, this is New York. Deal with it. 1.3333 0.04051 198 142 46 10
864 I hope the bed wetter isn't on top... 1.3333 0.04414 198 148 34 16
865 Just because this is a hostel environment, I don't want you to think you're not in a safe space. 1.3333 0.03987 198 142 44 10
866 Bachelor #1, how did you relate to your mother? 1.3333 0.04296 198 146 38 14
867 I'm still repaying student loans. Just relax and say whatever comes to minds. 1.3333 0.03922 198 140 50 8
868 Before we begin, whose turn is it to cover the copay? 1.3333 0.04113 198 143 44 11
869 Three stages of watching TV: The first: Fun, a time-filler. You look normal. The second: Anger, annoyance, a time-consumer. Your appearance has slipped. You are fat, for you don't exercise. The third: It's the only thing you do is You don't eat. 1.3333 0.04909 198 157 16 25
870 'How does it make you feel? How does it make you feel? How does it make you feel?' 1.3333 0.04113 198 143 44 11
871 You seem to be experiencing different levels of anxiety. 1.3333 0.03856 198 139 52 7
872 No, I still charge the same. 1.3333 0.04414 198 148 34 15
873 BernieCare 1.3333 0.04414 198 148 34 16
874 Remember it’s Yes, and...top to bottom. 1.3333 0.04696 198 152 24 21
875 Why do you feel you'll never stack up? 1.3333 0.04716 162 119 32 11
876 Well, it's less a sleep disorder and more of a Sleeping Car disorder 1.3333 0.04529 198 150 30 18
877 No, I am not dissing the dissonance, please continue. 1.3316 0.04673 196 151 25 20
878 Come on, you three. That's a lot of bunk. 1.3316 0.03944 196 139 49 8
879 Just so you know, you can upgrade at any time to the gold plan where there's just two of you or to the platinum plan where you're the only one. 1.3316 0.04138 196 142 43 11
880 So you have chosen a TherapyPOOL session. Let me know if any of you' want to switch to TherapySELECT . 1.3316 0.04074 196 141 45 10
881 Whether or not you booked through Groupon, this still points to separation anxiety." 1.3316 0.04263 196 144 39 13
882 And what do you like to do as a threesome? 1.3316 0.04728 196 152 23 21
883 This group therapy session would go more smoothly if you all had the same issues. 1.3316 0.03669 196 146 42 8
884 Okay, that's our time... Send in the next three! 1.3316 0.04443 196 147 33 16
885 Not all at once, please! 1.3316 0.04324 196 145 37 14
886 Well, it's not my problem your parents didn't read the Groupon fine print. 1.3316 0.04010 196 145 40 11
887 I thought you said you had mixed personalities 1.3316 0.04838 196 154 19 23
888 Let's start by debunking your imaginary friends. 1.3306 0.05033 121 86 30 5
889 No matter how efficient I get, the work keeps piling up. 1.3299 0.04227 194 142 40 12
890 It's your mother. 1.3281 0.04502 192 145 31 16
891 I know, but this is how the buy one get two coupon deal works. 1.3281 0.04188 192 140 41 11
892 Group therapy is a bunch of bunk! 1.3263 0.04713 190 147 24 19
893 I wonder if Groupon was a good idea. 1.3263 0.04147 190 138 42 10
894 Ikea's new "kødependnt" line of sofas. 1.3263 0.04147 190 138 42 10
895 In lieu of sliding scale, I'm offering hostel rates. 1.3263 0.04080 190 141 38 11
896 So, it sounds like the whole college roommate thing isn't working so well. 1.3263 0.04011 190 136 46 8
897 Before we get started, I'll need the Groupon from one of you. 1.3263 0.04214 190 139 40 11
898 Let's discuss sibling rivalry: all talk at once. 1.3263 0.04080 190 137 44 9
899 In Uber Therapy it’s his hour but you two can take it anywhere you want. 1.3263 0.04080 190 137 44 9
900 I need to read these groupons more closely 1.3263 0.03870 190 138 44 8
901 Who is holding the Groupon voucher? 1.3262 0.04584 187 142 29 15
902 Why does Superego always get the top? 1.3262 0.04457 187 140 33 14
903 OK, so which of you is the id and which the ego? 1.3262 0.04769 187 144 23 19
904 We won't get anywhere unless you're level with me. 1.3262 0.04457 187 140 33 14
905 So, last session we established that you may be a tiny bit obsessed with "This Is Us." 1.3262 0.04521 187 141 31 15
906 You should've seen what I had to do for the Brady Bunch kids. 1.3262 0.04191 187 136 41 10
907 Please understand that you have literally raised separation anxiety to a new level. 1.3262 0.04122 187 135 43 9
908 Which one of you is the id? 1.3262 0.04457 187 140 33 14
909 On the bright side, we will also split your copay three ways. 1.3262 0.04052 187 134 45 8
910 What if I told you this was not a dream. 1.3262 0.03980 187 133 47 7
911 I use Maslow's hierarchy of couches. 1.3262 0.03680 187 140 38 7
912 What you're feeling is common for the sandwich generation. 1.3262 0.04457 187 140 33 14
913 This is new for me too, but we have just been overwhelmed since the impeachment business failed. 1.3262 0.04457 187 140 33 14
914 ...and then I thought, 'how are we ever going to make the payments on a Lamborghini'... 1.3262 0.04326 187 138 37 12
915 Guys, please be quiet. Jeff's sharing with us about his intimacy issues. 1.3262 0.04647 187 143 27 17
916 Ironically, I think your costs would increase if we took out the middle-man. 1.3250 0.04738 160 119 30 11
917 Repeat after me: Our democracy is strong enough to survive this. 1.3245 0.04307 188 139 37 12
918 It's the Sanders Plan. No premium. No copay. No waiting. 1.3243 0.04217 185 135 39 10
919 Now, starting with you Mary, I want each of you to tell me how you feel about your current position. 1.3243 0.04487 185 139 32 14
920 And how does it make you feel that the other two quintuplets are in the basement? 1.3243 0.04354 185 137 36 12
921 I understand one you feels he needs more space. 1.3243 0.04286 185 136 38 11
922 I know you are disappointed, but this is what a ménage a trois is at a psychiatrist’s office. 1.3243 0.04421 185 138 34 13
923 do you have any more personalities? or is that it. 1.3243 0.04076 185 133 44 8
924 If you’re happy and you know it clap your hands. 1.3243 0.04421 185 138 34 13
925 Studies show, the key to effective group therapy is vertical integration. 1.3224 0.04314 183 135 37 11
926 Bachelor number 3, if we were on a date and I stepped away, what toppings would you order on my pizza? 1.3224 0.04172 183 133 41 9
927 Welcome to group therapy, we are here to help you not fix you 1.3224 0.04584 183 139 29 15
928 You have been arranged according to your credit rating. 1.3224 0.04518 183 138 31 14
929 Which of your three personalities would like to begin? 1.3204 0.04124 181 131 42 8
930 No, there really are three of you. 1.3204 0.04549 181 137 30 14
931 Let's get back to that dream where you're a BLT 1.3204 0.04270 181 135 35 11
932 Parallel processing seems to come naturally for you. 1.3204 0.04549 181 137 30 14
933 When none of you talk at once, it makes me think you don’t want to be here. 1.3204 0.04270 181 133 38 10
934 Well, bad luck does come in threes... 1.3204 0.04481 181 136 32 13
935 Maybe next time you'll read the Groupon fine print. 1.3204 0.04412 181 135 34 12
936 Because you all have the same problem... 1.3204 0.04412 181 135 34 12
937 Hey, this is what you get when you book a therapist through Costco 1.3204 0.04342 181 134 36 11
938 Im afraid I can't help if you insist on talking over each other 1.3204 0.04342 181 134 36 11
939 It’s a sharing economy, Judith. 1.3204 0.04124 181 131 42 8
940 Let’s get started. Who’s on first? 1.3204 0.04412 181 135 34 12
941 Let's begin today's session about the relevance of birth order. 1.3204 0.04342 181 134 36 11
942 Now, what makes you think your parents don't respect your privacy?" 1.3204 0.04198 181 132 40 9
943 So if you'd just call out when I mention your symptom. Mania? Paranoia? Anxiety? ……... 1.3204 0.04270 181 133 38 10
944 Maybe you guys should knock next before you decide to give your parents breakfast in bed 1.3204 0.04198 181 132 40 9
945 All right, let’s begin with the patient in First Class, and then we’ll work our way down. 1.3204 0.04198 181 132 40 9
946 You may be inseparable, but I charge individual rates. 1.3204 0.03973 181 129 46 6
947 So this is what airbnb in San Francisco looks like... 1.3187 0.04391 182 136 34 12
948 And when did you first feel that you were not being treated as an individual? 1.3187 0.04179 182 133 40 9
949 I think you've misunderstood the meaning of "multiple personality disorder." 1.3184 0.04370 179 133 35 11
950 And after all of that, you still went back to camp? 1.3184 0.04370 179 133 35 11
951 ...the good news is that that several promising studies are underway exploring unshackling the bonding experience of extended cruise ship quarantine. 1.3184 0.04370 179 133 35 11
952 Let's start with this. Please tell me how you feel about Trumpcare. 1.3184 0.04441 179 134 33 12
953 Your problem, as I see it, is that you’re living on top of each other. 1.3184 0.04224 179 131 39 9
954 For next week's special I'm offering to discuss two personal failures for the price of one. 1.3184 0.04648 179 137 27 15
955 So all three of you are saying that you don't believe the bunk you've been given. 1.3184 0.04511 179 135 31 13
956 See Arthur, you aren`t the most screwed up person in New York. 1.3184 0.04370 179 133 35 11
957 Group counseling? 1.3184 0.04511 179 135 31 13
958 Okay, Listen up. This is Bunker Therapy. 1.3184 0.05099 179 144 13 22
959 Your insurance won't cover your Id, Ego, and Superego 1.3184 0.04511 179 135 31 13
960 Democrat, Republican, and Independent, see, we all can get together and stay off Facebook 1.3184 0.04370 179 133 35 11
961 Welcome everyone, I'll be your trichiatrist. 1.3184 0.04511 179 135 31 13
962 Don't everybody talk at once. 1.3184 0.04298 179 132 37 10
963 Are you sure that you're triplets? 1.3184 0.04441 179 134 33 12
964 I'm not any happier with this new Preferred Physician network than you are. 1.3184 0.04648 179 137 27 15
965 It’s okay, go ahead. Tiers are perfectly healthy. 1.3184 0.04370 179 133 35 11
966 And what makes you think you have separation anxiety? 1.3184 0.04511 179 135 31 13
967 Well, Russell, you do exhibit all the traits of the middle child... 1.3184 0.04149 179 130 41 8
968 To be honest, until today I didn't think your other personalities were real. 1.3184 0.04370 179 133 35 11
969 Eeny, meeny, miney, mo. 1.3184 0.04648 179 137 27 15
970 ‘Who’s on first?’ 1.3184 0.04580 179 136 29 14
971 Now tell me how you all came to believe you were the same person. 1.3184 0.04149 179 130 41 8
972 Didn’t read the fine print on the HMO guidelines, huh? 1.3184 0.03995 179 137 33 9
973 How would you describe your childhood. Anyone? 1.3184 0.04511 179 136 28 14
974 Moving to the top bunk is not the change we've been talking about. 1.3164 0.04682 177 136 26 15
975 What makes you think you have multiple personality disorder? 1.3164 0.04251 177 134 32 10
976 Perhaps you didn’t understand how a group health plan works. 1.3164 0.04325 177 131 36 10
977 I should have said that the three session package deal was not transferrable. 1.3164 0.04097 177 127 42 7
978 Therapy can help you on many different levels. 1.3164 0.04174 177 129 40 8
979 So, who didn't want the open relationship? 1.3164 0.03937 177 129 42 6
980 And just exactly how do these multiple personalities manifest themselves? 1.3164 0.04097 177 128 42 7
981 Let's see now: feeling low, middle child syndrome and fear of heights. 1.3164 0.04543 177 134 30 13
982 You're all summer camp counselors? What bunk. 1.3164 0.04682 177 136 26 15
983 You see? You're just as screwed up as everyone else! 1.3164 0.04613 177 135 28 14
984 The important think is that you know you're an individual. And so are you. And you. 1.3164 0.04097 177 128 42 7
985 You mentioned that you struggle with codependency. 1.3164 0.04174 177 129 40 8
986 So what makes you think you have multiple personalities? 1.3164 0.04174 177 129 40 8
987 Wait, which one of you had the mother who always forgot your birthday? 1.3164 0.04325 177 131 36 10
988 Next week, it's Lars' turn to be on top. 1.3164 0.04750 177 137 24 16
989 I'm just don't think you meet the criteria for split personality disorder. 1.3164 0.04471 177 133 32 12
990 Clearly you have childhood issues on multiple levels. 1.3164 0.04399 177 132 34 11
991 I'm sorry but you did ask for the "group" discount. 1.3164 0.04251 177 130 38 9
992 So how long have you been sleeping in the same room with your imaginary friends? 1.3164 0.04399 177 132 34 11
993 Nope, it’s still just 1 hour. 1.3164 0.04399 177 132 34 11
994 Let's begin where we left off last week with the difficulties of being a holy trinity. 1.3164 0.04543 177 134 30 13
995 Why don’t we start with you, Sybil? 1.3143 0.04277 175 129 37 9
996 Remember, no splitting my fee. 1.3143 0.05792 105 79 19 7
997 I'm getting the sense that you've all begun to accept the sobering realization that psychoanalysis is actually a lot of bunk. 1.3143 0.04574 175 133 29 13
998 So tell me about yourselves. 1.3143 0.04200 175 128 39 8
999 How long have you three shared the one personality? 1.3143 0.04354 175 130 35 10
1000 And this wasn’t what you were expecting when MaryAnn invited you over for a threesome? 1.3143 0.04428 175 131 33 11
1001 I am sorry, but your insurance only covers trichiatry. 1.3143 0.04574 175 133 29 13
1002 This is perplexing on so many levels. 1.3143 0.04041 175 126 43 6
1003 Let’s debunk that together. 1.3143 0.04428 175 131 33 11
1004 So hows the happy thruple? 1.3143 0.04354 175 130 35 10
1005 Those are all valid feelings, but I'd like to focus more on your separation anxiety. 1.3143 0.04354 175 130 35 10
1006 John, tell me again about feeling trapped? 1.3143 0.03958 175 125 45 5
1007 Let’s try and debunk your codependency. 1.3143 0.04354 175 130 35 10
1008 Unfortunately, cuts to health insurance mean we have to combine sessions. How does that make you feel? 1.3143 0.04646 175 134 27 14
1009 "Welcome to BunkBnT." 1.3143 0.04574 175 133 29 13
1010 Proof again that misery loves company. 1.3143 0.04277 175 129 37 9
1011 It's called a 'collective unconscious' so it's not important which of you answers the question. 1.3143 0.04121 175 127 41 7
1012 I thought you’d all be glad to know that you’re not alone in your suffering. 1.3143 0.04121 175 127 41 7
1013 In all fairness, I did tell you this is my most popular time slot. 1.3143 0.04041 175 126 43 6
1014 That's correct, the offer was three issues for one price. 1.3143 0.04354 175 130 35 10
1015 What you say here remains confidential. 1.3143 0.04428 175 131 33 11
1016 Rest assured that you'll still receive a personalized bill. 1.3140 0.04326 172 125 36 9
1017 Now that you have decided who will be on top, let us begin. 1.3140 0.04845 172 134 22 16
1018 I'd prefer we keep the focus on the roommate situation, but sure Dennis, go ahead and weigh in on Elisa's relationship with her mother. 1.3140 0.04630 172 131 28 13
1019 So, Middle Guy, how do you feel about sharing with Top Guy and Bottom Guy which one of them is the father. 1.3140 0.04984 172 136 18 18
1020 You each have “ multiple personalities disorders “ 1.3140 0.04326 172 127 36 9
1021 Tell me more about your fathers. 1.3140 0.04247 172 126 38 8
1022 Remember to never feel ashamed and that you are not alone. 1.3140 0.04774 172 133 24 14
1023 One more time, starting from the top. 1.3140 0.04247 172 126 38 8
1024 All three of you have the exact same problems requiring the exact same therapy. That's why! 1.3140 0.04404 172 128 34 10
1025 Yes, I understand completely. But, your copayments will decrease by two-thirds. 1.3140 0.04404 172 128 34 10
1026 How long have you felt that nobody focuses on your needs? 1.3140 0.04630 172 131 28 13
1027 What about your professional discount did you not understand? 1.3140 0.04630 172 131 28 13
1028 3...2...1...Liftoff 1.3140 0.05051 172 137 16 19
1029 The insurance company asked me to triple my productivity. 1.3140 0.04556 172 130 30 12
1030 I sense the underlying issue is white male privilege." 1.3140 0.04326 172 127 36 9
1031 And how long have you had this feeling of not being treated as an individual? 1.3140 0.03999 172 123 44 5
1032 We want your mortuary preparation training to last a lifetime. 1.3140 0.05051 172 136 16 19
1033 Patient number 3, what is your most traumatic childhood memory? 1.3140 0.04404 172 128 34 10
1034 I must admit I completely misunderstood your threesome request." 1.3140 0.04247 172 126 38 8
1035 Beatrice, Leonard and Thomas, you just need a toast. 1.3140 0.05184 172 139 12 21
1036 So, tell me more about your not feeling like an individual... 1.3140 0.04481 172 129 32 11
1037 After our session is concluded, please don't forget to rate me on the Uber Therapy Pool app. 1.3140 0.04481 172 129 32 11
1038 Three for the price of one? Seriously? 1.3140 0.04703 172 134 23 15
1039 Since none of you want to face your problems I thought this might help. 1.3140 0.04845 172 134 22 16
1040 Bunk beds tell me a great deal about family dynamics 1.3140 0.04556 172 130 30 12
1041 And when would you say you first started having doubts about the sharing economy? 1.3140 0.04247 172 126 38 8
1042 OK, any questions on how individual group therapy works?" 1.3140 0.04247 172 126 38 8
1043 Welcome to our first session, or what I like to call how Medicare for all covers therapy 1.3140 0.04481 172 129 32 11
1044 And Mr. Id, how did it make you feel when Mr. Superego told you to go to CrossFit? 1.3140 0.04630 172 131 28 13
1045 And now let's try to debunk some of these sentiments. 1.3128 0.04135 179 131 40 8
1046 When did it become clear that your clever menagerie a trois included snakes and lizards? 1.3121 0.05025 173 138 16 19
1047 Sorry guys, this is Medicare for All. 1.3121 0.04533 173 131 30 12
1048 This is certainly the most severe case of multiple personalities I’ve ever had to treat. 1.3121 0.04146 173 126 40 7
1049 Three used to be a crowd, but now it's a group. 1.3121 0.04458 173 130 32 11
1050 Now that your multiple personalities are comfortable, let's discuss your fear of heights. 1.3121 0.04533 173 131 30 12
1051 $45 upcharge for the accompanying ladder—what a swindle. Some of the support brackets were missing too.” 1.3121 0.04820 173 135 22 15
1052 Sorry, group rates only apply to schizophrenia; but you are eligible for my shrink two get one free offer. 1.3121 0.04607 173 132 28 13
1053 Alright then, how connected do you feel to the people around you? 1.3121 0.04226 173 127 38 8
1054 Dysfunction for $500 1.3121 0.04820 173 135 22 16
1055 And at out next session, Alice, you can be the middle child. 1.3121 0.04458 173 130 32 11
1056 I sense a hierarchy in your ‘throuple’ 1.3121 0.04382 173 129 34 10
1057 "Let's start with your mother. And your mother. Oh, and I guess your mother, too." 1.3121 0.04064 173 125 42 6
1058 We’re here to work through your tiers. 1.3121 0.04146 173 126 40 7
1059 And is this your first time visiting a therapist for your codependency? 1.3121 0.04146 173 126 40 7
1060 My husband wants me to work less hours. 1.3121 0.04226 173 127 38 8
1061 Who wants to go first? Id? Ego? Superego? 1.3121 0.04305 173 128 36 9
1062 First off, I'd like to thank you for participating in our group therapy program. 1.3121 0.04607 173 132 28 13
1063 So it’s agreed - we all hate our fathers? 1.3121 0.04382 173 129 34 10
1064 I said you needed to change your attitude, not your altitude. 1.3121 0.04382 173 129 34 10
1065 I'd like to try a new method, top-down processing. Jane, let's start with you. 1.3118 0.04737 170 131 25 13
1066 And you still feel you have the middle child syndrome? 1.3118 0.04274 170 125 37 8
1067 With your insurance plans, it’s either this or twenty minutes each. 1.3118 0.04108 170 123 41 6
1068 So tell me, what brings you in for throuple’s therapy? 1.3118 0.04434 170 127 33 10
1069 This is the city, do you have any idea how much it would cost for a waiting room? 1.3118 0.04663 170 130 27 13
1070 Last week you told me you felt under water, but this week you're telling me you feel like you're actually in a submarine? 1.3118 0.05091 170 136 15 19
1071 Sorry I forgot but which of you is afraid of heights? 1.3118 0.04274 170 127 34 9
1072 Tell me again why you feel you're not getting enough special attention. 1.3118 0.04663 170 130 27 13
1073 Cost effective alternatives to universal healthcare 1.3118 0.04274 170 125 37 8
1074 Efficient, yes. Effective remains to be seen. 1.3118 0.04022 170 122 43 5
1075 Your HMO thinks this is innovative. 1.3118 0.04108 170 123 41 6
1076 This is the first time I have ever done throuple’s therapy. 1.3118 0.04354 170 126 35 9
1077 I think we should start with Mom. 1.3118 0.04022 170 122 43 5
1078 I want you all to think back on that night at summer camp. 1.3118 0.04108 170 126 37 7
1079 I'm sorry, which one of you just said that thing about your mother?" 1.3103 0.04361 174 130 34 10
1080 I'm sorry for the stacking, but we have a backlog of therapist cartoon captions. 1.3099 0.04713 171 132 25 14
1081 What part of Medicare for All did you not understand? 1.3099 0.04489 171 129 31 11
1082 You'll find these group sessions to be beneficial and cost effective. So Lauren let's start with your fear of heights then dig into Nicks issues middle child syndrome and finish with Mikes fear of being crushed. 1.3099 0.04489 171 129 31 11
1083 How long have you been binge-watching “This is Us” together? 1.3099 0.04333 171 127 35 9
1084 The Jingleheimer Schmidt triplets were having a hard time coping with all being named John Jacob 1.3099 0.04565 171 130 29 12
1085 Next week, we’ll try talking and by month’s end we might be ready to try eye contact. 1.3099 0.04253 171 126 37 8
1086 Well this is awkward...Your insurance just called and they said they’re only able to cover one of your personalities for therapy. 1.3099 0.04411 171 128 33 10
1087 Due to patient confidentiality, I'm unable to use your real names. 1.3099 0.04713 171 132 25 14
1088 Why don't you start, Mrs. Wallenda? 1.3099 0.04489 171 129 31 11
1089 If it's not one thing, it's your mother. 1.3099 0.04489 171 129 31 11
1090 You're here because you're not special. Who would like to start? 1.3099 0.04411 171 128 33 10
1091 I just wanted to let you all know ... this is my first threesome. 1.3099 0.04171 171 125 39 7
1092 I'll need more time to debunk this one 1.3099 0.04253 171 126 37 8
1093 What makes you think I'm a cut-rate psychiatrist? 1.3099 0.04253 171 124 37 8
1094 So you were saying...you feel your mother never gave you her undivided attention? 1.3099 0.04253 171 125 37 8
1095 Before we start, there’s the 33% co-pay. 1.3098 0.04054 184 135 41 8
1096 I don't think the new system is impersonal at all, Patient #24601 1.3095 0.04301 168 124 36 8
1097 When did you start feeling like people were always talking over you? 1.3095 0.04464 168 126 32 10
1098 Before we discuss mothers, let's talk about boundaries in Groupon therapy." 1.3095 0.04697 168 129 26 13
1099 The group discount does not apply to the bottom bunk. 1.3095 0.04301 168 124 36 8
1100 Have you ever considered a tub? 1.3095 0.04920 168 132 20 15
1101 Of course you have doctor-patient confidentiality. 1.3095 0.04218 168 123 38 7
1102 Id, why don't you start. 1.3095 0.04464 168 126 32 10
1103 OK. Thanks for sharing, super-ego. I think it's time we heard now from the Id. 1.3095 0.04697 168 131 23 14
1104 Thank you all for signing the Privacy Notice. Let the healing begin... 1.3095 0.04464 168 126 32 10
1105 Let's start with why you feel there's a pecking order. 1.3095 0.04543 168 127 30 11
1106 Sorry about the crowd Charlie, Medicare for all has caused some issues. 1.3095 0.04301 168 124 36 8
1107 And how does that make you -- Oh, we have to stop now. And how does that make you -- Oh, we have to stop now. And how does that make you -- Oh, we have to stop now. 1.3095 0.04543 168 127 30 11
1108 Multiple personalities doesn’t mean three people, I’m afraid. 1.3095 0.04383 168 125 34 9
1109 Now Greg, tell me more about the voices you hear. 1.3095 0.04218 168 123 38 7
1110 Psychiatry in the age of socialized medicine. 1.3095 0.04464 168 126 32 10
1111 And based on your goals, the app will figure out who is done with treatment first, second, etc. 1.3095 0.04621 168 128 28 12
1112 ...I really need to rethink "Three for One" Thursdays 1.3095 0.04383 168 125 34 9
1113 So, tell me, why do you think you suffer from schizophrenia? 1.3095 0.04773 168 130 24 14
1114 Since the need for mental health care tripled since Trump took office, Dr. Green found a way to provide it! 1.3095 0.04383 168 124 34 9
1115 Three more who believe the New Yorker caption contest has run its course. 1.3095 0.04847 168 130 22 15
1116 So to summarize our last session, Ego and Supergo could no longer tolerate Id... 1.3095 0.04383 168 125 34 9
1117 So, DeWayne, when she said "threesome", what was the first thing that went through your mind? 1.3095 0.04132 168 122 40 6
1118 In your case, multiple personalities isn't a disorder. 1.3095 0.04218 168 127 31 9
1119 So, which one of you is Bacon, which one of you is Lettuce, and which one is Tomato? 1.3095 0.04218 168 127 32 8
1120 Not so sure about this groupon therapy. 1.3095 0.04847 168 131 22 15
1121 I said that it would more economical, not necessarily more therapeutic. 1.3095 0.04301 168 124 36 8
1122 So you're saying you feel that men are beneath you? 1.3095 0.04383 168 125 34 9
1123 I thought they hired me to work with "hostile" youths. 1.3095 0.04697 168 129 26 13
1124 Welcome to progressive Mormon marriage counseling. 1.3095 0.04301 168 124 36 8
1125 Trust me, you're not the first ones in here from trying a three-way. 1.3095 0.04383 168 125 34 9
1126 You seem to be having issues with sharing your feelings. 1.3095 0.04218 168 123 38 7
1127 With the discount plan, each of you can only express one third of your problems. 1.3095 0.04218 168 123 38 7
1128 Our confide-share program is the most cost effective therapy since screaming into your pillow. 1.3095 0.04383 168 125 34 9
1129 Remember, patients a,b,and c, that you are unique and special - and a little cheap. Next! 1.3095 0.04383 168 125 34 9
1130 Just to be clear, Ted, the discount only applies if you all stick to the same psychosis. 1.3095 0.04464 168 126 32 10
1131 Each sibling will have one minute for direct response, and a lifetime for rebuttals. 1.3082 0.04367 159 119 32 8
1132 Astrid, why do you feel that 'male problems' are beneath you? 1.3072 0.04329 166 123 35 8
1133 What did you expect with Groupon®? 1.3072 0.05103 166 133 15 18
1134 How long have you been scared to be alone? 1.3072 0.04495 166 125 31 10
1135 In respect of your privacy I shall address you, from top to bottom, as superego, ego, and id. 1.3072 0.04244 166 122 37 7
1136 Just as a reminder, you each saved $11.37 by selecting the therapy pool option today. 1.3072 0.04329 166 123 35 8
1137 Have you considered that maybe ‘This is Us’ is not really about you? 1.3072 0.04244 166 122 37 7
1138 Welcome to all of you using Groupon. 1.3072 0.04244 166 122 37 7
1139 so you met on the train and then,what happened ? 1.3072 0.04413 166 124 33 9
1140 So the menage a trois didn't go like you'd hoped... 1.3049 0.04442 164 123 32 9
1141 So, how are you progressing with the concept of layered experience? 1.3049 0.04271 164 121 36 7
1142 Welcome to the therapy economy class. 1.3049 0.03999 164 118 42 4
1143 So, how long have you felt you were triplets? 1.3049 0.04526 164 124 30 10
1144 When did you begin thinking that you were a quartet instead of trio? 1.3025 0.04116 162 118 39 5
1145 It seems that the three of you have a single personality 1.3025 0.04558 162 123 29 10
1146 It’s called Groupon, what were you expecting? 1.3025 0.04473 162 122 31 9
1147 The insurance company said it was either this, or capping each client at a maximum of three sessions per year. On the bright side, I'm allowed to bill for two clients per session. 1.3025 0.05261 162 131 11 19
1148 Guys, congratulations on choosing our three-for-the-price-of-one discount offer. Just don't all talk at once, okay? 1.3025 0.04803 162 126 23 13
1149 I am one of the few therapists who will work with roommate conflicts. 1.3025 0.04298 162 120 35 7
1150 So, Sybil. Would you like to introduce your friends? 1.3025 0.04558 162 123 29 10
1151 Well, it comes down to this: We all have the same problems. 1.3025 0.04558 162 123 29 10
1152 Until I get conclusive evidence of multiple personality disorder, I'm going to have to charge you triple. 1.3025 0.04386 162 121 33 8
1153 When did you first imagine you were identical triplets? 1.3025 0.04558 162 123 29 10
1154 Jeffrey is fully participating in the group. He just needs a little more space. 1.3025 0.04641 162 124 27 11
1155 I know it's a group session but I'll still need 3 copays. 1.3025 0.04641 162 124 27 11
1156 Now what did one of you say about multitasking? 1.3025 0.04558 162 123 29 10
1157 So, when did you realize your weren't identical triplets? 1.3025 0.04298 162 119 32 8
1158 I don't think this is a genuine case of multiple personalities." 1.3025 0.04558 162 123 29 10
1159 I’m seeing signs of multiple personalities. 1.3025 0.04298 162 120 35 7
1160 This Coronavirus quarantine won’t last forever guys so let’s just deal with it, ok? So Rodney,any progress with your erectile dysfunction problems? 1.3025 0.04641 162 124 27 11
1161 So what brings you to menage therapy? 1.3025 0.04641 162 124 27 11
1162 It’s all going to be fine...next three please 1.3019 0.04701 159 122 26 10
1163 You know - there are three levels of awareness here. 1.3019 0.04065 159 117 37 5
1164 Coach class therapy is not as comfortable as first, but it gets you to the same place. 1.3006 0.04533 163 124 29 10
1165 Mr. Simms, I believe your multiple personality disorder is escalating. 1.3000 0.04590 160 122 28 10
1166 Why do you millennials think you are not treated as individual mature adults? 1.3000 0.04326 160 119 34 7
1167 When did you begin to believe that you are triplets? 1.3000 0.04326 160 119 34 7
1168 So Terry, what I understand is that you feel that your siblings are always above you. 1.3000 0.04140 160 117 38 5
1169 To be clear, I still need to charge each of you separately 1.3000 0.04140 160 119 34 6
1170 Your friends may dismiss your concerns as 'bunk,' but rest assured I'll listen 1.3000 0.04326 160 119 34 7
1171 Welcome to your first Summer Camp counseling sessoin. 1.3000 0.04675 160 123 26 11
1172 Okay, from the top down 1.3000 0.04416 160 120 32 8
1173 Look this healthcare for all is going to take some getting used to." 1.3000 0.04504 160 121 30 9
1174 Sometimes a bunk bed is just a bunk bed 1.3000 0.04234 160 118 36 6
1175 Remind me ... which one of you was dealing with impotency? 1.3000 0.04675 160 123 26 11
1176 Hostel therapy 1.3000 0.04504 160 121 30 9
1177 And how did that make us feel? 1.3000 0.04590 160 122 28 10
1178 I got the idea from my hair salon - three couches, no waiting! 1.3000 0.04140 160 117 38 5
1179 You only get the group rate if your problems are the same. 1.3000 0.04675 160 123 26 11
1180 Unfortunately, this style of therapy will soon be debunked 1.3000 0.04590 160 122 28 10
1181 I'd like to debunk the myth that I overbook my appointments. 1.2994 0.03940 167 121 42 4
1182 So, have any of you been in group therapy before? 1.2994 0.04377 157 117 33 7
1183 Pizza Rat?? Coffee Rat?? Wait till they get a load of me! 1.2975 0.05198 158 125 13 17
1184 I have a lot of patients who fantasize about threesomes. 1.2975 0.04354 158 118 33 7
1185 I specialize in couple’s therapy for a Ménage á trios 1.2975 0.04535 158 120 29 9
1186 As this is a basic economy session, each patient is only allowed one repressed memory. 1.2975 0.04535 158 120 29 9
1187 It was in the insurance policy’s fine print. Anyway, let’s tackle today’s topic: trust issues 1.2975 0.04445 158 119 31 8
1188 Would you say the problems started immediately after you left the space station? 1.2975 0.04535 158 120 29 9
1189 What's on your minds? 1.2975 0.04354 158 118 33 7
1190 Alright, I'll now be analyzing our platinum level patient. If the rest of you could just not listen that would be great. 1.2975 0.04260 158 117 35 6
1191 Psychotherapist, no, I’m a conceptual artist and you’re part of a “performance art” piece. 1.2975 0.04535 158 120 29 9
1192 Only three family members are allowed according to the terms of my psychotherapy Groupon 1.2975 0.04794 158 123 23 12
1193 Try not to talk over each other. 1.2975 0.04354 158 118 33 7
1194 Which one of you had the fear of heights again? 1.2975 0.04623 158 121 27 10
1195 Therapy at any level is healthy. 1.2975 0.04164 158 116 37 5
1196 So tell me why you think psychology is bunk. 1.2975 0.04445 158 119 31 8
1197 This has many layers. 1.2975 0.04535 158 120 29 9
1198 The group discount only applies if you all have the same problems. 1.2975 0.04354 158 118 33 7
1199 This is your last session with the three for one coupon. 1.2975 0.03966 158 116 38 4
1200 I'm glad you could all be here thanks to the new Medicare Therapy Tier Reimbursement system. 1.2975 0.04354 158 118 33 7
1201 Generally, multi personalies show up in one person. 1.2975 0.04535 158 120 29 9
1202 Your insurance company felt this was the best option. 1.2975 0.04354 158 118 33 7
1203 Did you order this family session on Amazon ? 1.2975 0.04445 158 119 31 8
1204 For today's group therapy, you'll be cast in the role of either eldest, middle, or youngest child. For starters, guess which one you are. 1.2975 0.04260 158 117 35 6
1205 Which one of you is the Id? Can I talk to the Id for a minute? 1.2975 0.04623 158 121 27 10
1206 Well in my defense, I did mention that I have experience diagnosing multiple personalities. 1.2975 0.04354 158 118 33 7
1207 Yes, it does present some HIPAA challenges but I have tripled my caseload. 1.2975 0.04354 158 118 33 7
1208 Margaret, continue. You were talking about your low self-esteem before we leap-frogged you to address Nick's narcissistic tendencies. 1.2975 0.04710 158 122 25 11
1209 Your stories brought me to tiers. 1.2975 0.04535 158 120 29 9
1210 Who told you the fee would be split 3 ways 1.2975 0.04354 158 118 33 7
1211 And how does that make we feel? 1.2975 0.04445 158 119 31 8
1212 Sometimes, I don't even recognize myself. 1.2975 0.04623 158 121 27 10
1213 So…childhood sleep-away camp trauma...Who’d like to start?” 1.2975 0.04354 158 118 33 7
1214 It looks like we’re out of time. Your Uber pool is waiting outside. 1.2975 0.04623 158 121 27 10
1215 No, it's nothing therapeutic, I just repurposed my kids' bunks. 1.2975 0.04535 158 120 29 9
1216 And what did you think three for the price of one meant? 1.2975 0.04260 158 117 35 6
1217 This question goes to all of you. 1.2975 0.04260 158 117 35 6
1218 This isn't what I expected when you said "triple booked." 1.2975 0.04445 158 119 31 8
1219 So, you think you are at a low point, who do you think is above you? 1.2975 0.04794 158 123 23 12
1220 Mary, let's start with you. How did UberPooling with Mike and Jayson make you feel? 1.2975 0.04878 158 124 21 13
1221 So, you say you’re hearing voices? 1.2975 0.04445 158 119 31 8
1222 Which one of you had the Groupon coupon? 1.2975 0.04960 158 125 19 14
1223 So your mothers tell me you think psychiatry is bunk... 1.2975 0.04354 158 118 33 7
1224 This appears to be a rather advanced case of multiple personality disorder. 1.2975 0.04710 158 122 25 11
1225 The bunks are IKEA, so no fidgeting 1.2975 0.04535 158 119 29 9
1226 Now close your eyes and try to visualize the mortgage on my new cottage in the Hamptons. 1.2975 0.04535 158 120 29 9
1227 Number 3, how long have you had this Nearer my God to Thee feeling? 1.2975 0.04445 158 119 31 8
1228 And where do you think these concerns about confidentiality come from? 1.2975 0.04445 158 119 31 8
1229 Who else feels unimportant? 1.2975 0.04354 158 118 33 7
1230 Your medical insurance won't pay for a private couch. 1.2975 0.04066 158 116 36 5
1231 I’m rethinking The whole idea of offering a Groupon For therapy. 1.2975 0.04354 158 118 33 7
1232 Without universal healthcare, this is the best we do for now. 1.2975 0.04878 158 123 21 12
1233 So, starting from the top, Betty's scared of heights, Mike's claustrophobic, and Tom has a fear of gravity. 1.2975 0.04354 158 118 33 7
1234 To be honest, I'm not sure if insurance covers groupon sessions. 1.2975 0.04164 158 117 33 6
1235 It's your parent's fault. Your parent's fault. Your parent's fault... 1.2975 0.04794 158 123 23 12
1236 First, let me explain to the audience the rules for this latest Democratic Debate 2020. 1.2975 0.04445 158 119 31 8
1237 There are three people in this marriage. 1.2968 0.04593 155 118 28 9
1238 Next week Janet you can be the middle child. 1.2968 0.03902 155 111 42 2
1239 On the other hand, family therapy is not for everyone! 1.2968 0.04772 155 120 24 11
1240 All three of you share the same personality disorder. I thought it was a good time for you all to meet. 1.2968 0.04593 155 118 28 9
1241 Multiple personality disorder is a subset. Let's deal with the multiple body disorder first. 1.2965 0.04436 172 132 29 11
1242 So, Kate, Randall, and Kevin -- where would you like to begin? 1.2963 0.04189 162 120 36 6
1243 Do I need to remind you that you wanted Medicare for all? 1.2956 0.04421 159 120 31 8
1244 I hope that explains the differences in tier one, two and three health insurance. 1.2949 0.04382 156 117 32 7
1245 I think you have thoroughly misunderstood what 'ménage à trois' means. 1.2949 0.04189 156 115 36 5
1246 Well thanks for signing up for rideshare therapy, who wants to go first? 1.2949 0.04476 156 118 30 8
1247 I would love to see you individually,but your insurance says you're on the multi-tier plan. 1.2949 0.04476 156 118 30 8
1248 And most importantly, everything you tell me will be completely confidential. 1.2949 0.04382 156 117 32 7
1249 So let's start with Marty. What makes YOU the most angry about health insurance cutbacks? 1.2949 0.04657 156 120 26 10
1250 And how have rising health care costs affected you, Joe? 1.2949 0.04382 156 117 32 7
1251 What makes you think you suffer from separation anxiety? 1.2949 0.04382 156 117 32 7
1252 Of course I care about you. Why do you ask? 1.2949 0.04382 156 117 32 7
1253 Sorry, it's the new diversity rules. 1.2949 0.04567 156 119 28 9
1254 Do you think you need to set more boundaries with your parents? 1.2949 0.04657 156 120 26 10
1255 This isn't quite what I pictured when you said "group therapy." 1.2949 0.04382 156 117 32 7
1256 The good news is you’re all still covered by medicare. 1.2949 0.04476 156 118 30 8
1257 So, before we begin, let’s address the elephant in the room. Yes, the chairs are imitation leather. 1.2949 0.04831 156 122 22 12
1258 Will the real schizophrenic please stand up... 1.2941 0.04238 153 113 35 5
1259 Repeat after me, Triskaphobia is imaginary. 1.2941 0.04718 153 118 25 10
1260 Okay, let's begin. Number 3, you are lying at the bottom under Number 1 and 2. How does that make you feel? 1.2941 0.04626 153 117 27 9
1261 I'm sorry but our private equity investors insist. 1.2941 0.04984 153 121 19 13
1262 With whom shall we start? 1.2941 0.04897 153 120 21 12
1263 Doc, I just have this feeling that everyone else is beneath me. 1.2941 0.04436 153 115 31 7
1264 With the political season underway, this is the only way I can squeeze everyone in. 1.2941 0.04532 153 116 29 8
1265 In these sessions, we'll try to confront James' fear of meeting only low expectations; Arnold's middle child syndrome; and Sarah's acrophobia. 1.2941 0.04532 153 116 29 8
1266 Normally I resist the diagnosis of multiple personality disorder. 1.2922 0.03901 154 111 41 2
1267 C'mon, how do you two feel about her being on top? 1.2917 0.04167 168 126 35 7
1268 Because the first born is always held to a higher standard. 1.2914 0.04264 151 112 34 5
1269 And why do you think you have middle child syndrome? 1.2914 0.04845 151 118 22 11
1270 So, let's talk about codependency 1.2914 0.04366 151 113 32 6
1271 Before starting, can I see all your Groupon vouchers please? 1.2914 0.04564 151 115 28 8
1272 Okay, so which one of you is the middle child? 1.2914 0.04264 151 111 34 5
1273 Okay, everyone's Groupon checks out. Let's begin. 1.2914 0.04366 151 113 32 6
1274 So you say your problems feel like they are piling up on you... 1.2914 0.04660 151 116 26 9
1275 Next time read the fine print on the Groupon. 1.2914 0.04660 151 116 26 9
1276 This is Medicare-for-all psychoanalysis 1.2914 0.04366 151 113 32 6
1277 Welcome to your family therapy session. 1.2914 0.05112 151 121 16 13
1278 Singular Personality Disorder: When multiple people hear the same voice in their heads. 1.2914 0.04366 151 113 32 6
1279 Under the Bernie Plan, you will appreciate enormous savings for your individualized therapy. 1.2914 0.04660 151 116 26 9
1280 My bad, says here, scared of heights, being crushed, and oh dear. 1.2914 0.04753 151 117 24 10
1281 that is not what we mean as a "threesome" 1.2886 0.04290 149 111 33 5
1282 So Doris, I see you're a bed wetter. 1.2886 0.04694 149 115 25 9
1283 As you can see, I do exclusively thruples therapy. 1.2886 0.04395 149 112 31 6
1284 That's our new service for therapy addicts planning to quit. 1.2886 0.04694 149 115 25 9
1285 Have you thought that you might be putting others above yourself? 1.2886 0.04290 149 111 33 5
1286 So Debbie, you’ll be our judgmental super ego, Brad will play the poor pushed around ego, and Bobby, you’ll be the filthy little Id, won’t you? 1.2886 0.04290 149 111 33 5
1287 I love Groupon 1.2886 0.05066 149 119 17 12
1288 So when did you first discover that you weren't triplets? 1.2886 0.04497 149 113 29 7
1289 In order to be eligible for the discounted rate you must all pretend to have the same problem. 1.2886 0.04596 149 114 27 8
1290 You’ll all get a chance to be the middle child 1.2886 0.04073 149 109 37 3
1291 None of your policies cover individual therapy. 1.2886 0.04596 149 114 27 8
1292 How would you describe these monsters under you bed? 1.2886 0.04290 149 111 33 5
1293 Groupon, right? 1.2886 0.04290 149 111 33 5
1294 Person in the lower bunk, do you have similar feelings? 1.2886 0.04975 149 118 19 12
1295 Anything you share today is covered by patient-patient-patient-doctor confidentiality. 1.2886 0.04290 149 111 33 5
1296 No, this is what I meant when I asked would you like to do a threesome? 1.2886 0.04694 149 115 25 9
1297 OK, let's start at the top and work our way to the root of the matter. 1.2886 0.04596 149 114 27 8
1298 What did you expect when you used a groupon? 1.2886 0.04290 149 111 33 5
1299 Ok Millennials. 1.2886 0.04596 149 114 27 8
1300 It was hard enough with just couples counseling but I think this should work for a love triangle 1.2886 0.04395 149 112 31 6
1301 Most people don't bring their parents... 1.2886 0.04395 149 112 31 6
1302 OK, Jim, you can have the top couch next time. 1.2886 0.04497 149 113 29 7
1303 Let's keep the questions multiple choice. 1.2877 0.04657 146 112 26 8
1304 So, what I think I’m hearing you say is that you are not yet ready to move out of your parents’ basements? 1.2877 0.04657 146 112 26 8
1305 Ted, you feel smothered by your siblings... tell me more about that. 1.2877 0.04342 146 109 32 5
1306 And which personality actually pulled the trigger? 1.2877 0.05139 146 117 16 13
1307 I hate this new Trumpcare! 1.2877 0.04555 146 111 28 7
1308 Well, the good news is you don't have multiple personality disorder. 1.2877 0.04342 146 109 32 5
1309 Group Personal Therapy 1.2874 0.03993 167 124 38 5
1310 So how does that make you feel? make you feel? make you feel? 1.2857 0.04630 147 113 26 8
1311 I am sorry to say starting next week the upper and lower couches will have a twenty five dollar supplemental fee. 1.2857 0.04424 147 111 30 6
1312 What did a three for one special mean to you? 1.2857 0.04424 147 111 29 6
1313 Which one of you has the middle child syndrome? 1.2857 0.04528 147 112 28 7
1314 "Come on, guys, one more personality and we've got the record." 1.2857 0.04630 147 113 26 8
1315 When after your trip to Tokyo did you start to feel this way? 1.2857 0.04424 147 111 30 6
1316 Welcome to socialized medicine! 1.2857 0.04528 147 112 28 7
1317 Those of you who think it’s your mother’s fault, raise your hand. 1.2857 0.04424 147 111 29 6
1318 Medicare for all is not what it was cracked up to be 1.2857 0.04424 147 111 30 6
1319 Yes, I'm sensing some co-dependency. 1.2857 0.04208 147 109 34 4
1320 Looking pregnant and being pregnant have very different psychological implications. 1.2857 0.04729 147 114 24 9
1321 So Donald, what did you eat for dinner last night? 1.2857 0.05016 147 117 18 12
1322 How long have you been a throuple?" 1.2857 0.04317 147 110 32 5
1323 Before we get started, let me explain what we know about multiple personality. 1.2857 0.04424 147 111 30 6
1324 People, let’s focus on what you actually LIKE about living in a dorm in your 40s 1.2857 0.04827 147 115 22 10
1325 It is important to remember that you’re not alone in your bunk bed addiction 1.2857 0.05016 147 117 18 12
1326 Tell me again about these repressed memories of summer camp. 1.2857 0.04528 147 112 28 7
1327 Billy, what if you could tell your parents what you just told me? Well I've got a surprise for you! 1.2857 0.04729 147 114 24 9
1328 Yes, Vernon, our office's scheduling site is broken...how does that make you feel? 1.2857 0.04630 147 113 26 8
1329 Were you college room-mates? 1.2857 0.04317 147 110 32 5
1330 Be sure to give the receptionist your groupon voucher when you leave. 1.2857 0.04528 147 112 28 7
1331 Life is not a level playing field. That will be $100, $50 and $20. 1.2857 0.04317 168 129 30 9
1332 Now starting from the top could you say your first name, your age, why you are here and the name of your insurance company? 1.2847 0.04480 144 109 29 6
1333 Now, which of you is here to discuss your boundary issues? 1.2846 0.04534 130 97 29 4
1334 And why is it you don't feel special? 1.2838 0.04701 148 115 24 9
1335 Okay, now tell me about his childhood. 1.2838 0.04501 148 113 28 7
1336 Ok, Miss Top Bunk, how long have you had this feeling that you aren't being considered as a strong and independent individual by your peers at work ? 1.2838 0.05077 148 119 16 13
1337 Have you considered some alone time? 1.2837 0.04190 141 104 34 3
1338 Tell me about your mother. Tell me about your mother. Tell me about your mother. 1.2828 0.04663 145 112 25 8
1339 The sharing economy has entered therapy 1.2828 0.04559 145 111 27 7
1340 And why do you think Goldilocks would choose your couch? 1.2828 0.04663 145 112 25 8
1341 So how did leaving Camp Winnie Tonga make you feel? 1.2828 0.04118 145 107 35 3
1342 you have been reclassified as dysbunktional 1.2828 0.04453 145 110 29 6
1343 Now close your eyes and imagine you can afford a one on one session. 1.2828 0.04453 145 110 29 6
1344 Now this will only work if we combine all your deductibles.. 1.2828 0.04453 145 110 29 6
1345 This is the first psychiatry triple-play outside of a ball park, so who's on first 1.2828 0.04663 145 112 25 8
1346 Though the others may hear you, I am the only one listening. 1.2828 0.04453 145 109 29 6
1347 I understand, but it is the best way to handle the scheduling conflict. 1.2828 0.04344 145 109 31 5
1348 The folding chairs should be back from the shop next week. 1.2828 0.04864 145 114 21 10
1349 I want to schedule another session on Friday the 13th. Your thoughts? 1.2828 0.04864 145 114 21 10
1350 Which one of you farted? 1.2828 0.04663 145 112 25 8
1351 Kate, I'll put the ladder back once you really explore your anger towards the rest of your clique. 1.2828 0.04559 145 111 27 7
1352 Picture yourself in an office with only one chaise longue 1.2828 0.04233 145 108 33 4
1353 The situation you are facing is multilayered and complex. 1.2828 0.04559 145 111 27 7
1354 So...This is Us? 1.2828 0.04559 145 111 27 7
1355 Remember, the three-for-one coupon is only good for one session. 1.2828 0.04344 145 109 31 5
1356 It's more efficient, I charge each of you a bit less, and you all have Mommy problems. 1.2828 0.05151 145 117 15 13
1357 Welcome to your student loan anxiety session. Shall we take it from the top down? 1.2828 0.04663 145 112 25 8
1358 Does anyone have the family coupon? 1.2828 0.04962 145 115 19 11
1359 Classic Middle Child Syndrome. 1.2828 0.04453 145 110 29 6
1360 Think of it as Uber ride sharing meets therapy. 1.2828 0.04453 145 110 29 6
1361 This *is* the recommended treatment now for multiple personality disorder. 1.2828 0.04453 145 110 29 6
1362 Is this anyone's first time in Groupon Therapy? 1.2828 0.04453 145 110 29 6
1363 Sorry, number 3, are you the one on suicide watch or is that number 2? Oops, times up everyone." 1.2828 0.04765 145 115 20 10
1364 So Eve, I’m glad you’ve brought in all three faces today. 1.2828 0.04559 145 111 27 7
1365 I should tell you at the start that this is my first experiment with Groupon. 1.2828 0.04453 145 110 29 6
1366 You've all qualified for the group rate. 1.2828 0.04663 145 112 25 8
1367 tell me....what is it that has brought you all to tiers? 1.2828 0.04962 145 115 19 11
1368 Good news! Your insurance will cover 36 sessions 1.2828 0.04453 145 110 29 6
1369 You seem to share a sort of a bunker mentality. 1.2828 0.04559 145 111 27 7
1370 Otto never caught on that each of his three personalities was being charged separately. 1.2828 0.04765 145 113 23 9
1371 You are in a safe place now. Whatever you say will be between me and the 3 of you. 1.2828 0.04344 145 109 31 5
1372 Which one of you was a middle child? 1.2828 0.04233 145 108 33 4
1373 To be fair the ad did say I’m three times more likely to be helpful than other therapists. 1.2828 0.04559 145 110 27 7
1374 Family sessions improved a lot after I got rid of the Murphy beds. 1.2828 0.04453 145 110 29 6
1375 The age of Groupon 1.2828 0.04453 145 110 29 6
1376 New Federal Mental Health Guidelines give you each a 16.667 minute hour 1.2828 0.04118 145 108 32 4
1377 Here's my first insight. Get a better health insurance plan. 1.2828 0.05057 145 116 17 12
1378 You all need better HMOs. 1.2828 0.04663 145 112 25 8
1379 Lets start with how the choice-of-bunk fight started. 1.2828 0.04663 145 112 25 8
1380 So, you were telling me last time about how the sharing economy was crushing your sense of self. 1.2828 0.04663 145 112 25 8
1381 First off, I must apologize. This certainly was not what I meant when I told my secretary that all work must be submitted in triplicate. 1.2828 0.04344 145 108 30 5
1382 Bobby, tell me why you think Greg and Peter like to bully you. 1.2828 0.04765 145 113 23 9
1383 Bachelor #1, if on our first date I asked you about your mother, what would you say? 1.2828 0.04559 145 111 27 7
1384 Your inner children want better insurance. 1.2828 0.04962 145 115 19 11
1385 I hope you will feel confident that everything we discuss will be kept confidential 1.2828 0.04118 145 106 35 3
1386 Alright and that’s our time. Grace, would you like the ladder or the trampoline today? 1.2828 0.04765 145 113 23 9
1387 When did these feelings of inadequacy and depression start at Camp Sunshine for you? 1.2828 0.04453 145 110 29 6
1388 So how long have you been fixated on being in a New Yorker cartoon about psychiatrists? 1.2828 0.05057 145 116 17 12
1389 My official diagnosis is acute multiple personality disorder. 1.2828 0.04233 145 113 27 5
1390 and as a plus, Medicare helps cure loneliness 1.2828 0.04559 145 111 27 7
1391 So, I'm hearing that Ego is tired of always playing the middle man between Id and SuperEgo 1.2828 0.04765 145 113 23 9
1392 So, you have always had threesomes? 1.2828 0.04233 145 108 33 4
1393 I hope I'm not triggering any feelings of inferiority. It's just easier if I start from the top. 1.2828 0.04864 145 114 21 10
1394 How do you feel about time and space optimization? 1.2828 0.04962 145 115 19 11
1395 Well Gerald, we talked about this before, remember? Lindsey gets the top couch this time because Jeff is afraid of heights, and you had it last time. 1.2828 0.04118 145 107 35 3
1396 On the bottom is the id, the middle is the ego, then the super ego on the tippy top 1.2828 0.04559 145 111 27 7
1397 On one hand, you sold your collective souls to come up with the blandest, most benign captions imaginable, but on the other hand, you've been selected as the three Finalists.... 1.2828 0.04559 145 111 27 7
1398 Let me know if you guys want to share a Kleenex. 1.2828 0.04765 145 113 23 9
1399 My clients are really starting to pile up. 1.2826 0.04598 138 105 27 6
1400 Now try to synchronize your identical whining” 1.2826 0.05142 138 110 17 11
1401 How did you think Bernie was going to pay for it?! 1.2817 0.04934 142 112 20 10
1402 ENROLL TWO IN THERAPY, GET ONE FREE. 1.2817 0.04727 142 110 24 8
1403 This is what Medicare for all looks like , middle child /low self-esteem group 452B 1.2808 0.05120 146 118 15 13
1404 Medicare for All! 1.2808 0.05026 146 117 17 12
1405 Of course you have three different personalities. You are three different people. 1.2807 0.05063 114 87 22 5
1406 It’s a new approach to group therapy. 1.2791 0.04666 129 98 26 5
1407 No, it wasn’t “group therapy” it was Groupon. 1.2786 0.04427 140 106 29 5
1408 Any thoughts on how you stack up together? 1.2786 0.04541 140 107 27 6
1409 One more time, let’s take it from the top. 1.2786 0.04869 140 111 17 9
1410 Welcome to Basic Economy psychotherapy. 1.2786 0.04653 140 108 25 7
1411 I believe you all have separation anxiety. 1.2786 0.04762 140 109 23 8
1412 Bachelor #2, if I were your Mom, where would you take me oa a date? 1.2786 0.04869 140 110 21 9
1413 If I told you once I told you a million times: you're stuck in this co-dependent relationship because you don't respect personal boundaries, not one of you really listens to me, and after seven years as your therapist, frankly I'm sick of it. 1.2786 0.04762 140 109 23 8
1414 I understand there is a problem with your position in life. 1.2786 0.04541 140 107 27 6
1415 My three for one deal was not literal." 1.2786 0.04653 140 108 25 7
1416 OK, now that you understand the vagaries of our tiered pricing, we can proceed with the resultant level of care. 1.2786 0.04427 140 106 29 5
1417 I can see that there are levels to your grief. 1.2786 0.04188 140 104 33 3
1418 My methods are hard to debunk. 1.2786 0.04869 140 110 21 9
1419 I typically avoid group-based approaches to acute personality disorder therapy, but it was on sale at IKEA. 1.2786 0.04541 140 109 24 7
1420 I wondered why you clarified that your problems started at "birth, with an I" when I agreed to take you on as a patient. 1.2786 0.05076 140 112 17 11
1421 Please. One at a time. 1.2786 0.04309 140 105 31 4
1422 As patients, it's important to see how you stack up 1.2786 0.04869 140 110 21 9
1423 So I see we have some separation anxiety. 1.2786 0.04188 140 104 33 3
1424 Let's see how your so-called issues stack up.” 1.2786 0.04762 140 109 23 8
1425 I am starting to wonder whether this is worth doing to get the group rate. 1.2786 0.04762 140 109 23 8
1426 For that kind of guidance, Mr. Wilkins, you’d have to upgrade to first class. 1.2786 0.04653 140 108 25 7
1427 You should see this place when the cast of "Friends" shows up. 1.2786 0.04762 140 109 23 8
1428 No, I was not aware you all know each other 1.2786 0.04188 140 104 33 3
1429 Are all your private activities 3-way? 1.2786 0.04974 140 111 19 10
1430 You have a single personality disorder. 1.2786 0.04541 140 107 27 6
1431 Tell me what you're feeling. Tell me what you're feeling. Tell me what you're feeling. 1.2786 0.04869 140 110 21 9
1432 It’s not multiple personality disorder, you actually are three separate people. 1.2774 0.04717 137 106 24 7
1433 My training? Camp counselor. 1.2774 0.04238 137 102 32 3
1434 Yes, even if you remain silent throughout the session you are still responsible for 33.33% payment. 1.2774 0.04602 137 105 26 6
1435 I've noticed that trouble comes in threes. 1.2774 0.04484 137 104 28 5
1436 Simon says arms to your side. Hold your hands on your stomach. 1.2774 0.04717 137 106 24 7
1437 So you're not happy with your position in life. What would you change? 1.2774 0.04602 137 105 26 6
1438 Yes, it's a metaphor. I just haven't figured out which one. 1.2774 0.04363 137 103 30 4
1439 Multiple personality disorder is usually not so obvious. 1.2774 0.04484 137 104 28 5
1440 Do you think that on some level... 1.2774 0.04484 137 103 28 5
1441 Ugly is obvious, but which one of you identifies as the Good or the Bad? 1.2774 0.04717 137 106 24 7
1442 Even worse, your insurance company cut your hour to 41 minutes. 1.2759 0.04536 145 112 26 7
1443 So that's what, fifteen personalities in total? 1.2754 0.04456 138 105 28 5
1444 Nobody leaves until we finish debunking. 1.2754 0.04687 138 107 24 7
1445 You played the young versions of the main characters on ‘This is Us’, and now you can’t be apart? 1.2754 0.04908 138 109 20 9
1446 Don't worry, I'll still pretend your issues are unique. 1.2754 0.04908 138 109 20 9
1447 Of course this is how you do family therapy! 1.2754 0.04456 138 105 28 5
1448 I might have an idea as to why you feel caught in the middle of Sue and Carl's relationship. 1.2754 0.04335 138 104 30 4
1449 Next time, please make separate appointments for each of your personalities. 1.2754 0.04456 138 105 28 5
1450 Technically, this is “group therapy”. 1.2754 0.04212 138 103 32 3
1451 My first question to all of you - is the market place working when looking for healthcare providers?” 1.2754 0.04687 138 107 24 7
1452 It's your mom's fault. 1.2754 0.04687 138 107 24 7
1453 OK...today let's work on your tri-polar disorder 1.2754 0.04335 138 104 30 4
1454 So tell me, each of you, when did you first have this experience of being a club sandwich? 1.2754 0.04456 138 107 24 6
1455 Any other comments on that fourth-grade teacher? 1.2754 0.04799 138 108 22 8
1456 Medicare allows for a 20 minute consult. I charge by the hour. You three split the bill, ok? 1.2754 0.04212 138 103 32 3
1457 Tell me about your unresolved summer camp issues. 1.2754 0.05014 138 110 18 10
1458 Groupon is saving my practice. 1.2754 0.04687 138 107 24 7
1459 So, how do you like your Groupons? 1.2754 0.05014 138 110 18 10
1460 Indeed, triplets from three different parents do offer some challenges. 1.2754 0.04456 138 105 28 5
1461 To answer your questions: yes, no, and hmm... 1.2754 0.04573 138 106 26 6
1462 I see your family is very into sharing. 1.2754 0.05014 138 110 18 10
1463 Now you see the downside, of "Medicare for All." 1.2754 0.04687 138 107 24 7
1464 I’d like to welcome you to our new rack ‘em and stack ‘em therapy group. 1.2754 0.04573 138 106 26 6
1465 These feelings are completely normal. Just not for you, Dave. 1.2754 0.04799 138 108 22 8
1466 Family sharing only works for Spotify dad... 1.2754 0.05014 138 110 18 10
1467 The darker skin person has the least head room. Tell me how that makes you feel. 1.2754 0.04456 138 105 28 5
1468 So I hear you all have issues with sandwiches? 1.2754 0.04799 138 108 22 8
1469 For some reason none of you have responded to group therapy. 1.2754 0.04573 138 106 26 6
1470 Welcome to your inital session with the Groupon discount. 1.2754 0.04799 138 108 22 8
1471 If you could pay cash, I'd give you a regular couch. 1.2754 0.05014 138 110 18 10
1472 This isn't what I had in mind when I suggested having a threesome. 1.2754 0.04573 138 106 26 6
1473 These open marriages rarely work out. 1.2754 0.04084 138 102 34 2
1474 You all need to work on finding your own voice. 1.2754 0.04456 138 105 28 5
1475 my rate is per hour and bunk 1.2754 0.04573 138 106 26 6
1476 None of you are leaving until we get our timing right. AGAIN. Top bunk: 'Row, row, row your boat...' 1.2754 0.04687 138 107 24 7
1477 In all honesty, a ménage a trois is just never easy. 1.2754 0.04456 138 108 24 6
1478 So that very afternoon, a new psychosis was discovered. For they experience the same illusions. The new DSM: “Mirage a Trois.” 1.2754 0.04573 138 106 26 6
1479 A whole new meaning to group therapy! 1.2754 0.04456 138 105 28 5
1480 Some call it overbooking. I personally prefer 'group therapy'. 1.2754 0.04335 138 104 30 4
1481 So what is the problem in the entourage? 1.2754 0.05014 138 110 18 10
1482 It feels like all my appointments keep stacking up 1.2754 0.04908 138 109 20 9
1483 Therapy-share isn't for everyone, but I do try to match up psychoses. 1.2754 0.04573 138 106 26 6
1484 Before we begin, which one of you has the three-for-one coupon? 1.2754 0.04573 138 106 26 6
1485 Remind me again, which one of you identifies as Shemp? 1.2754 0.04799 138 108 22 8
1486 You may like our triple threat package: acrophobia, enochlophobia and claustrophobia. I'll throw in hypochondria for free. 1.2727 0.04821 132 103 22 7
1487 Maybe you should try sleeping together. 1.2727 0.04699 132 102 24 6
1488 He doesnt really need the helmet at that altitude 1.2721 0.05056 136 109 17 10
1489 So, Helen, have you always felt superior being on top? 1.2721 0.04362 136 105 23 6
1490 First off, I'd like to welcome you all to your first Groupon polyamorous three-for-one discount session. 1.2721 0.04722 136 106 23 6
1491 Clients,just a reminder: as we test out this innovative pilot for saving health care delivery costs,please try not to free-associate all at one time." 1.2721 0.04947 136 108 19 9
1492 We'll start with fear of heights, then fear of enclosed spaces, then fear of being last." 1.2721 0.04362 136 103 29 4
1493 Now we commence the mind-meld. 1.2721 0.04947 136 108 19 9
1494 Yes Carol, from up there everyone does seem small. 1.2721 0.05369 136 112 11 12
1495 This Medicare-for-all does take a little getting used to. 1.2721 0.04235 136 102 31 3
1496 First let me explain multiple personality syndrome ..... 1.2721 0.05056 136 109 17 9
1497 Hopefully this group therapy session will help you all get over your fear of bunk beds. 1.2721 0.04485 136 104 27 5
1498 Now again let’s hear it from the top! 1.2721 0.04836 136 107 21 8
1499 Let’s begin. I have a stacked schedule this afternoon. 1.2721 0.04362 136 103 29 4
1500 How long have you had this compassion for Oreo cookies? 1.2721 0.04836 136 107 21 8
1501 I'm prescribing you tricyclic antidepressants. 1.2721 0.04722 136 106 23 7
1502 What we lose in confidentiality, we make up for in anonymity. 1.2721 0.04605 136 105 25 6
1503 I didn’t think this is what they meant by group therapy. 1.2721 0.04485 136 104 27 5
1504 Families in therapy are often moved to tiers. 1.2721 0.04722 136 106 23 7
1505 OK, so, let me get this straight - which one of you is the third wheel? 1.2721 0.04362 136 103 29 4
1506 You may be a family who needs intervention, but you do not get a 3 for 1 discount . . . 1.2721 0.04362 136 103 29 4
1507 When did you first experience these feelings toward Groupon? 1.2721 0.04605 136 105 25 6
1508 Healthcare under Bernie. 1.2721 0.04722 136 106 23 7
1509 And when, exactly, did you become aware that you might have multiple personalities? 1.2721 0.04171 136 103 28 4
1510 How long have you lived in your tiny house? 1.2721 0.04722 136 106 23 7
1511 No , I'm afraid there is no discount for Multiple Personality Disorder. 1.2721 0.04722 136 106 23 7
1512 Remember, only 1/3 of my advice applies to you. 1 1.2721 0.04362 136 103 29 4
1513 So this is Medicare for all! 1.2721 0.04947 136 108 19 9
1514 Group rates don't cover individual phobias 1.2721 0.04836 136 107 21 8
1515 First the bad news, you are not triplets. 1.2721 0.04235 136 102 31 3
1516 So, nobody wants to be Id today? 1.2721 0.04485 136 104 27 5
1517 Sorry, I am backed up today. But at least you know you are not alone. 1.2721 0.04485 136 104 27 5
1518 I can see that you’re dealing with stress on multiple levels. 1.2721 0.04485 136 104 27 5
1519 Eeny, meeny, miny, moe, okay Fred, you’re turn. 1.2721 0.05056 136 109 17 10
1520 Trickle down therapy. 1.2721 0.04605 136 105 25 6
1521 It’s understandable, especially confronting long repressed summer camp fears. 1.2721 0.04947 136 108 19 9
1522 Okay, let's start with the resentment you're feeling over who got the bottom bunk. 1.2721 0.04235 136 102 31 3
1523 You've been away from your cell phones for over 10 minutes now...how's everyone feeling?" 1.2721 0.04722 136 106 23 7
1524 Welcome to your Buy Two, Get One Free Groupon Therapy Session. 1.2721 0.04605 136 105 25 6
1525 I've seen this before, I call it the "Larry, Curly & Moe" Syndrome. 1.2721 0.05056 136 109 17 10
1526 So...let's talk about camp. 1.2721 0.04947 136 108 19 9
1527 What else bothers you about low Medicare reimbursements? 1.2721 0.04836 136 107 21 8
1528 Karen, I need you to be more supportive. 1.2721 0.04836 136 107 21 8
1529 Thank you for participating in our group therapy pilot study. Please discuss how you feel about your mothers among yourselves. 1.2721 0.05056 136 109 17 10
1530 It gets busy during an election year. 1.2721 0.04947 136 108 19 9
1531 So with the group rate, you all speak at the same time and I'll listen to the person with the most interesting issues. 1.2721 0.04485 136 104 27 5
1532 Welcome to 'Medicare for all'. You each have 30 seconds to describe your symptoms. 1.2721 0.04722 136 106 23 7
1533 Groupon Group therapy 1.2721 0.04362 136 103 29 4
1534 Have you ever thought life might be stacked against you? 1.2721 0.04605 136 105 25 6
1535 Maslow's Hierarchy doesn't work like this and I hope I've made it clear you're each being charged individually." 1.2721 0.04362 136 103 28 4
1536 No, for the last time, we do not offer a group discount. 1.2721 0.04722 136 106 23 7
1537 Just because you're on top, Id, doesn't mean you have to keep trashing Ego and Superego. 1.2721 0.04722 136 106 23 7
1538 Again, to be clear, no separate checks. 1.2721 0.04605 136 105 25 6
1539 Okay -- what level did we leave off on last week? 1.2721 0.04235 136 102 31 3
1540 To summarize, Jane, you are experiencing feelings of being on top of the world, Ken, you have anxiety about not being able to break out from the middle of the pack and Tom, you can't seem to shake the feeling of always ending up on the bottom rung? 1.2721 0.04722 136 106 23 7
1541 From here on out, I'm going to do all the talking. 1.2721 0.04947 136 108 19 9
1542 This time watch your b flats. 1.2721 0.04836 136 107 21 8
1543 Yes, there is a someone between you two. 1.2721 0.04235 136 102 31 3
1544 Welcome to the beta test of the new Therapy Share app. 1.2721 0.04836 136 107 21 8
1545 I find this therapy works best for patients in parallel universes. 1.2721 0.04947 136 108 19 9
1546 I understand that being Mr. Trump’s aide can break your psyche, but not like this. 1.2721 0.04836 136 107 21 8
1547 No, you're not the only one who feels this way. 1.2721 0.04235 136 102 31 3
1548 When did you first hear about high-rise syndrome? 1.2721 0.04836 136 107 21 8
1549 Wow! This runs deep. Let's start at the top and work our way down. 1.2721 0.04605 136 105 25 6
1550 Christie, Paul, Bill, you wanted the discount rate, so pay attention and learn from each other. 1.2721 0.04605 136 105 25 6
1551 Let's not all talk at once. 1.2721 0.04235 136 103 23 4
1552 We're now streamlining all of the cartoons featuring psychiatrists' offices. 1.2721 0.05369 136 112 11 13
1553 Yes, " I guess you could liken it to musical chairs". 1.2721 0.04485 136 104 27 5
1554 Please explain why you feel your ménage à trois needs to join Co-Dependency Anonymous? 1.2721 0.05267 136 111 13 12
1555 So then, going from top to bottom: don’t be afraid of heights, stop feeling so boxed in, and your outlook won’t always be this low. 1.2721 0.04722 136 106 23 7
1556 Believe it or not, you're not alone in feeling that way. 1.2721 0.04722 136 106 23 7
1557 So to recap, I've got one superiority complex, one inferiority complex and you in the middle suffering from both? 1.2721 0.04836 136 107 21 8
1558 You've all opted for the group rate. How does that make you feel? 1.2721 0.04605 136 105 25 6
1559 Who's gonna level with me? 1.2714 0.04161 140 105 32 3
1560 Let's see. Last week we left off with Alice telling Elijah that she's carrying his baby and Elijah saying that he's still in love with Jack, but Jack said he's moving to Miami with Ramona, who gets out of prison next month. Who'd like to go first? 1.2707 0.04668 133 103 24 6
1561 Raise your hand if you agree that the Groupon fine print agreement was another in a long history of betrayals? 1.2707 0.04544 133 102 26 5
1562 Perhaps you’re right. Try it with the acrophobic on the bottom and the claustrophobic up top. 1.2703 0.04351 148 114 28 6
1563 I’m Dr. Smith and I’ll be your summer camp counselor. 1.2701 0.04457 137 105 27 5
1564 Although middle patients often feel they receive less attention, I try my best to charge you all equally. 1.2701 0.04804 137 108 21 8
1565 Hey, no more grousing about Medicare for All, okay? 1.2701 0.04457 137 105 27 5
1566 So who was the one with gender reassignment issues? 1.2701 0.04457 137 108 21 6
1567 Okay, you guys start by babbling about your respective childhoods and at the end of the hour the fee is split three ways. 1.2701 0.04576 137 106 25 6
1568 And how do you feel about that? Anyone can answer. 1.2692 0.04055 130 96 33 1
1569 Your issue has different levels. 1.2679 0.04909 112 86 22 4
1570 This is my first counseling all members of a menage a trois arrangement. 1.2672 0.05290 131 107 13 11
1571 So after 'Need You Now' reached number 1, you must have been lot of pressure to write a follow-up. I'd like to explore how that made you feel... 1.2672 0.04945 131 104 19 8
1572 Sorry but we had to make some adjustment because of new provisions in your healthcare plan. 1.2672 0.04575 131 101 25 5
1573 You all need your heads examined if you think I'm billing this for a single person visit. 1.2672 0.04825 131 103 21 7
1574 It sounds like you feel you’re not getting enough personal attention. 1.2672 0.04702 131 102 23 6
1575 Tell me why you're feeling stuck in the middle. 1.2672 0.04445 131 100 27 4
1576 "We've heard enough from you now, Id. Superego, can we check in with you? 1.2672 0.04575 131 101 25 5
1577 So, whose idea was it to have the threesome? 1.2672 0.04575 131 101 25 5
1578 Ok, so let’s take it from the top. 1.2672 0.04575 131 101 25 5
1579 And who are we today? 1.2672 0.04575 131 101 25 5
1580 Mr. Middleman, why do you always choose the second bunk? 1.2672 0.04311 131 98 29 2
1581 Again, now: what part of family therapy are you all having a problem with? 1.2672 0.04445 131 100 27 4
1582 This isn't what I expected when she recommended group therapy. 1.2672 0.04702 131 102 23 6
1583 I'm only asking you to tri it just this once. 1.2672 0.04575 131 101 25 5
1584 I am pleased to announce that today's session is made possible by the Ikea Group Therapy Stacking Initiative. 1.2672 0.04702 131 102 23 6
1585 Socialization 2020 1.2672 0.04575 131 101 25 5
1586 I have many patients but know I'm focusing on you individually. 1.2672 0.04445 131 100 27 4
1587 How was your train trip through Europe? 1.2672 0.04702 131 102 23 6
1588 You're all nuts. 1.2672 0.04702 131 102 23 6
1589 Yes, I am in this for the money. 1.2672 0.04575 131 101 25 5
1590 Well, there is actually one monster above your bed too. We can make them go away, but that will then be $300 per hour. 1.2672 0.04445 131 100 27 4
1591 Because I deal with the collective unconscious. 1.2672 0.04575 131 101 25 5
1592 Welcome to Trump Anxiety Daycamp, the therapy session began when i removed the stepladder". 1.2672 0.04311 131 101 26 4
1593 Suffice it to say, the current administration has led to an increase in anxiety. 1.2672 0.04825 131 103 21 7
1594 Now I see what you meant by "hover parents" 1.2672 0.04445 131 102 24 4
1595 Let’s start by debunking some psychotherapy tropes... 1.2672 0.04575 131 101 25 5
1596 Why do you feel like you aren't getting enough attention? 1.2672 0.04702 131 102 23 6
1597 Remind me, which of you has middle child syndrome? 1.2672 0.04445 131 100 27 4
1598 You may have slept your way to the top, Catherine, but you’re going to have to get down with self-love. 1.2672 0.05063 131 105 17 9
1599 It was clearly stated - 'No split bills' 1.2672 0.04575 131 101 25 5
1600 One at a time ! 1.2672 0.04445 131 105 21 4
1601 Why the bunk sofa? It's called group therapy, and if I hear my mom was so mean, one more time I'm gonna shoot myself. 1.2672 0.04702 131 102 23 6
1602 Acrophobia, claustrophobia, and Glenn, I'll see you next Tuesday. 1.2672 0.04445 131 100 27 4
1603 For anonymity's sake, I'm going to call you Acro, Claustro, and Agora. 1.2672 0.05399 131 108 11 12
1604 On the bright side, you're not so alone that you couldn't use the Groupon. 1.2672 0.04702 131 102 23 6
1605 I, too, am worried the FRIENDS reboot won’t stack up, but let’s be reasonable here... 1.2672 0.05177 131 106 15 10
1606 First, please remember that many throuples find therapy helpful. 1.2672 0.04575 131 101 25 5
1607 HMO-sponsored studies prove it's very effective. 1.2667 0.04929 105 80 22 3
1608 This insurance clause is new to me too. 1.2656 0.04503 128 98 26 4
1609 I am now allowed only 15 inches between patients. 1.2656 0.04638 128 99 24 5
1610 Simon says cross your legs”. 1.2656 0.04638 128 99 24 5
1611 Welcome to "Medical Care for All" 1.2656 0.04896 128 101 20 7
1612 OK. We got you off of the cruise ship. you're no longer in quarantine. What is keeping you in your bunks? 1.2656 0.04896 128 101 20 7
1613 I find it more efficient to analyze all your alter egos at the same time. 1.2656 0.04769 128 100 22 6
1614 I think we'll need to get your mother in here. 1.2656 0.04638 128 99 24 5
1615 I'd like you to speak with one voice. 1.2656 0.04503 128 98 26 4
1616 Now close your eyes, and imagine that your HMO had better coverage. 1.2656 0.04638 128 99 24 5
1617 - How are we doing today? 1.2656 0.04638 128 99 24 5
1618 I'm here to help you with the transition from incarceration to normal life. 1.2656 0.04365 128 97 28 3
1619 Well, that concludes your carpool therapy session. 1.2656 0.04365 128 97 28 3
1620 Let's start at the beginning, tell me about the Uber Pool... 1.2656 0.04503 128 98 26 4
1621 Since you have multiple personalities, I’ll have to bill each separately. 1.2656 0.04503 128 98 26 4
1622 When I ask a question the first person to raise their hand gets to answer first. There will be no more talking at the same time. Is that understood. Now, what seems to be the problem? 1.2656 0.04769 128 99 22 6
1623 Agoraphobic, please switch bunks with Fear of Heights. 1.2656 0.04769 128 100 22 6
1624 My "Short Stack" therapy concept came to me as an undergrad working at I-Hop. 1.2652 0.04670 132 103 23 6
1625 Does being stuck in the middle bring up any feelings? 1.2640 0.05223 125 101 15 9
1626 tell your inner child,no jumping on the bunk bed 1.2636 0.04194 129 100 22 4
1627 Ok, let’s see if I can “debunk” these problems. 1.2636 0.04736 129 101 22 6
1628 Now some people aren't as comfortable with group therapy, but the research shows it's quite effective. 1.2636 0.04607 129 100 24 5
1629 My Financial Planner told me it was a good way to increase my hourly rate." 1.2636 0.04862 129 102 20 7
1630 OK, let's take it from the top. 1.2636 0.04736 129 101 22 6
1631 Groupon therapy. 1.2636 0.04862 129 102 20 7
1632 Now, let’s not all talk at once 1.2636 0.04736 129 101 22 6
1633 Primarily, I feel we must address the unusual verticality of your family system... 1.2636 0.04985 129 103 18 8
1634 I think that you are in denial about trying to sleep your way to the top.” 1.2636 0.05105 129 104 16 9
1635 How do you feel about group psychotherapy as a form of after-school detention? 1.2636 0.04736 129 101 22 6
1636 Why label it a bizarre love triangle? Maybe it’s a garden-variety love triangle. 1.2636 0.04736 129 101 22 6
1637 When did you first notice you were missing a fourth for bridge? 1.2636 0.04607 129 100 24 5
1638 It would be a lot more fun if you could complain about your parents in three part harmony. 1.2636 0.05105 129 104 16 9
1639 Your first problem? You gave the kid the bottom bunk. 1.2636 0.04473 129 99 26 4
1640 And remember: when counseling Economy Class, each piece of personal baggage is an additional $40. 1.2636 0.04985 129 103 18 8
1641 It all started at summer camp... 1.2636 0.04985 129 103 18 8
1642 Which one of you is afraid of heights? 1.2636 0.04336 129 98 28 3
1643 Tell me more about your father’s Groupon compulsion. 1.2636 0.05450 129 107 10 12
1644 Do you feel you can now change the light bulb, Lisa? 1.2636 0.04473 129 99 26 4
1645 So - band camp traumas. Let's explore that. 1.2636 0.04736 129 101 22 6
1646 #1 ... what is the problem from your viewpoint? 1.2636 0.04336 129 98 28 3
1647 Brings new meaning to Group Therapy! 1.2636 0.05337 129 106 12 11
1648 We shared an Uber too. 1.2636 0.04862 129 102 20 7
1649 I got the idea after staying at an Air BNB. 1.2636 0.04607 129 100 24 5
1650 Well I see your multiple personality disorder has progressed since last visit. 1.2636 0.04336 129 98 28 3
1651 So, welcome to our first "Mental Health for All" session. 1.2636 0.04862 129 102 19 7
1652 So, which one of you is the evil triplet? 1.2628 0.04428 137 106 26 5
1653 Your Uber Pool ride is here now - see you next time. 1.2628 0.04306 137 105 28 4
1654 I want to help you lead a more dormal life. 1.2619 0.04805 126 99 21 6
1655 I need you to hear me. Friends accepted by different colleges are not the same as triplets separated at birth. 1.2619 0.04390 126 96 27 3
1656 So you think there are people above and below you? 1.2615 0.04443 130 102 23 5
1657 You exhibit multiple personalities in disorder - not a multiple personality disorder. 1.2615 0.04443 130 100 26 4
1658 Let's talk about your fear of being alone. 1.2602 0.04876 123 97 20 6
1659 I see we have multiple personalities. 1.2598 0.04900 127 101 19 7
1660 Let me bring in a couple of colleagues. 1.2583 0.04807 120 94 21 5
1661 It’s OK, my background is in multiple personalities. 1.2583 0.05090 120 96 17 7
1662 And how does that make you, and you, and you feel? 1.2583 0.04659 120 93 23 4
1663 Did we really need this maze now that we have flying rats. scientist2: damn right 1.2581 0.05105 124 100 16 8
1664 I know you think this a lot of bunk. 1.2581 0.04704 124 97 22 5
1665 None of you read the Groupon fine print? 1.2581 0.04562 124 96 24 4
1666 You seem to have problems on so many levels! 1.2581 0.04562 124 96 24 4
1667 So is this a trio, a troika, or a menage a trois? 1.2581 0.04974 124 99 18 7
1668 And with time you may come to joyful acceptance that a menage a quatre was truly an overly aspirational goal... 1.2581 0.05476 124 103 10 11
1669 I think you meant to order a Therapist X. This is Therapist Pool. 1.2581 0.04704 124 97 22 5
1670 How about we start at the top . 1.2581 0.04265 124 94 28 2
1671 Welcome to Uber Therapy Share. 1.2581 0.04974 124 98 18 7
1672 Progress! We've got you down to three distinct personalities. 1.2581 0.04265 124 94 28 2
1673 The Groupon didn’t specify individual therapy, only 50 minutes with a licensed therapist. 1.2581 0.04841 124 98 20 6
1674 So, when did you begin to feel you weren’t special? 1.2581 0.04704 124 97 22 5
1675 You know I'm still going to charge you all full price, right? 1.2581 0.04704 124 97 22 5
1676 Fine! I get three people with one personality. 1.2581 0.04974 124 99 18 7
1677 Two in three people feel they're beneath someone. 1.2581 0.04562 124 96 24 4
1678 Yada, yada, yada. 1.2581 0.04704 124 97 22 5
1679 Keep in mind that you’re each saving 33 per cent on this session dealing with your miserliness. 1.2581 0.04562 124 96 24 4
1680 Why can't we ever just come over mom? 1.2581 0.04416 124 95 26 3
1681 How did you hear about about the Groupon? 1.2581 0.04265 124 94 28 2
1682 It looks like you have reached the tipping point. 1.2581 0.04562 124 96 23 4
1683 It’s only the primary, and yet, we’re so distressed. 1.2581 0.04841 124 98 20 6
1684 Just a reminder, calling shotgun next session will not guarantee you the top bunk. 1.2581 0.04841 124 98 20 6
1685 I didn't mean health care for all at the same time. 1.2581 0.04974 124 99 18 7
1686 Volume is the only way to make it pay these days. 1.2581 0.04704 124 97 22 5
1687 I've made my practice scalable to handle increased market demands since the 2016 election. 1.2581 0.04265 124 94 28 2
1688 Patient number three, describe your best therapy session. 1.2581 0.04974 124 99 18 7
1689 Obviously, we aren’t seeing eye to eye on any of these issues. 1.2581 0.04416 124 95 26 3
1690 Shared ride chaining allows us to use the open seats in the car to their full advantage. As a passenger, you may be paired with multiple riders along your route. 1.2581 0.05476 124 103 10 11
1691 So, who’d like to go first and explain to me exactly what happened on that train-couchette in France last summer? 1.2581 0.05105 124 100 16 8
1692 That’s a bunch of bunk. 1.2581 0.04265 124 94 28 2
1693 It was definitely the full moon syndrome kicking in. 1.2581 0.05231 124 101 14 9
1694 Middle berth, your 15 minutes are up. Top berth, your time starts now. 1.2581 0.04562 124 96 24 4
1695 Thanks for using our group deals for this week's therapy session 1.2581 0.05355 124 102 12 10
1696 For the last time, the discount does NOT apply if you continue to talk amongst yourselves! 1.2581 0.05105 124 100 16 8
1697 You have to not stack up your problems. Take them one by one. 1.2581 0.04704 124 97 22 5
1698 I feel that I have low self-esteem because there is always someone above me. 1.2581 0.04704 124 97 22 5
1699 Overbooked!! 1.2581 0.04562 124 96 24 4
1700 So, tell me more about your favorite sibling. 1.2581 0.04704 124 97 22 5
1701 Level two, why do you feel that people don't give you the undivided attention you deserve? 1.2581 0.04704 124 97 22 5
1702 Before we start, can i see your coupon, please? 1.2581 0.04974 124 99 18 7
1703 ..and the cutbacks in your mental health coverage: how do they make you feel? 1.2581 0.04704 124 97 22 5
1704 Welcome to your first session of Psych-sharing. As we discussed, each of you gets one-third of the hour. Ms. Top Bunk, you go first. 1.2581 0.05105 124 100 16 8
1705 Why do you always fixate on how you stack up? 1.2581 0.04562 124 96 24 4
1706 Patient number one: Why would I laugh more in our sessions than I would with patients number two and three? 1.2581 0.04562 124 96 24 4
1707 So what makes you think you have a split personality? 1.2581 0.04704 124 97 22 5
1708 I see you folks signed up to save money through the group plan... 1.2581 0.04562 124 95 24 4
1709 Welcome to throuples therapy. To begin...is there someone else we should know about? 1.2581 0.04562 124 96 24 4
1710 This is what you get with medicare for all. 1.2581 0.04974 124 99 18 7
1711 Let's ramp up from cynic to manic to panic. 1.2581 0.05105 124 100 16 8
1712 Now that rent in this building is so high, I have switched to triple bookings. 1.2581 0.04841 124 98 20 6
1713 Well, now as your analyst I'm wondering what it says that you all misunderstood the "Three for One" offer? 1.2581 0.04974 124 99 18 7
1714 Now tell me again how the three of you met? 1.2581 0.04704 124 97 22 5
1715 There's a lot to debunk in this relationship. 1.2581 0.04704 124 97 22 5
1716 Remember your individual experiences are unique 1.2581 0.04841 124 98 20 6
1717 Under the terms of the discount, each of you will be getting the same advice. 1.2581 0.04974 124 99 18 7
1718 I see that we're making some progress on your multiple personality disorder. You're down to three. 1.2581 0.04841 124 98 20 6
1719 I don’t think this partnership with ‘Lyft Shared’ is going to work 1.2581 0.05105 124 100 16 8
1720 Superego can go first followed by ego and then Id. 1.2581 0.04562 124 96 24 4
1721 How can I help you debunk that assumption? 1.2581 0.04704 124 96 22 5
1722 Hi, the internet is bad for your mental health. Now send in the next batch. 1.2581 0.04841 124 98 20 6
1723 How long have you felt that you weren't getting enough attention? 1.2581 0.04704 124 97 22 5
1724 What did you think a 3 for 1 session mean't? 1.2581 0.04841 124 98 20 6
1725 Okay, Id and Ego, how do you feel about what Superego just said? 1.2581 0.04416 124 95 26 3
1726 Whoever said that is in big trouble. 1.2581 0.04974 124 99 18 7
1727 So, how do you feel about being the middle child? 1.2581 0.04416 124 98 22 4
1728 I think triple billing is approximate in this case. 1.2581 0.04974 124 99 18 7
1729 It’s now mandated by your health insurance, sorry. 1.2581 0.04562 124 96 24 4
1730 When did you start fantasizing about Snap, Crackle and Pop? 1.2581 0.04841 124 98 20 6
1731 Ok - So that proves it - The middle child gets no attention 1.2581 0.04704 124 97 22 5
1732 So let’s go over your stories once again - from the top! 1.2581 0.04841 124 98 20 6
1733 'On the count of three, switch!' 1.2562 0.04914 121 96 19 6
1734 So the three of you think you might have multiple personality disorder? 1.2560 0.04806 125 99 20 6
1735 And what makes you think you're not triplets? 1.2560 0.04670 125 98 22 5
1736 First, I’d like to welcome you to my IKEA office location 1.2560 0.04670 125 98 22 5
1737 Yes, we call that a triple-decker diagnoses It’s when you and your friends suffer from the same symptoms. 1.2560 0.05068 125 101 16 8
1738 So what I’m hearing is your anxiety trigger is ride sharing. 1.2560 0.04530 125 97 24 4
1739 Tell me more about your obsession with club sandwiches. 1.2560 0.04530 125 97 24 4
1740 Well frankly, I also think your approach has been debunked. 1.2560 0.05068 125 101 16 8
1741 You weren't kidding about your multiple personalities... 1.2542 0.04990 118 94 18 6
1742 Could you remind me which one of you said to call this couples counseling? 1.2542 0.04533 118 91 24 3
1743 To whom it may concern 1.2541 0.04286 122 97 21 4
1744 Welcome to our first session of Group Therapy for Multiple Personalities 1.2541 0.04737 122 96 20 5
1745 You're the one's that wanted to let the horse live in your bedroom! 1.2541 0.04442 122 94 25 3
1746 Therapist: Chad, Karen from HR and James from accounting have expressed resentment with how casually you and your colleagues in the IT department are allowed to dress. 1.2521 0.05232 119 97 14 8
1747 What do you think has come between you? 1.2521 0.04656 119 93 22 4
1748 Yes, I specialize in multiple personality disorders. Why do you ask? 1.2521 0.04656 119 93 22 4
1749 Don’t worry—you’ll all get a chance at being the superego. 1.2521 0.05094 119 96 16 7
1750 Sometimes I think this group therapy is complete bunk. 1.2521 0.04172 119 90 28 1
1751 How did that make you- plural- feel 1.2521 0.04500 119 92 24 3
1752 Before we begin, I must ask: Which one of you is the middle child? 1.2521 0.04952 119 95 18 6
1753 I think we should take a multi-layered approach here! 1.2521 0.04656 119 93 22 4
1754 Tell me about the relationship dynamics here." 1.2521 0.04339 119 91 26 2
1755 Welcome to our first Tripolar group! 1.2521 0.05094 119 96 16 7
1756 Welcome to Costco Counseling. 1.2521 0.04806 119 94 20 5
1757 This may take some time to debunk. 1.2521 0.04806 119 94 20 5
1758 Did this traumatic childhood experience occur at summer camp, by any chance? 1.2521 0.04656 119 93 22 4
1759 Your problems stem from the trauma you experienced at summer camp. 1.2521 0.04500 119 92 24 3
1760 Of course you're getting the family discount rate. 1.2521 0.04806 119 94 20 5
1761 Let's have Superego respond directly to Id this time. 1.2521 0.04806 119 94 20 5
1762 They said that's not how group therapy works, but what do they know? 1.2521 0.04806 119 94 20 5
1763 Multitasking is my issue, what’s yours? 1.2521 0.04172 119 90 28 1
1764 You have multiple personality disorder. 1.2521 0.04500 119 94 21 4
1765 So welcome to the first session of 'CPAP Exposure Therapy' in which you will learn how to tolerate being seen by someone while wearing your 'appliance.' 1.2521 0.04806 119 94 20 5
1766 And although it goes against my own interests, may I say that when you start to think of yourself as a single person, my fee will reflect the breakthrough? 1.2521 0.04656 119 92 22 4
1767 So you all met on the therapist-share app, ShrinkedIn? 1.2521 0.04656 119 93 22 4
1768 Welcome to group therapy in my studio office. 1.2521 0.04952 119 94 17 6
1769 I'm sorry, but there is no discount for quarantine therapy. 1.2521 0.04952 119 95 18 6
1770 Everyone’s pain is unique, yes. But bad things happen in threes. 1.2521 0.04952 119 95 18 6
1771 I can put this on three separate checks but there's a 20% service charge. 1.2521 0.04656 119 93 22 4
1772 This way, you’ll all be out in 20 minutes.” 1.2521 0.04952 119 95 18 6
1773 So, how do you feel about speed therapy? 1.2521 0.04952 119 95 18 6
1774 It's a textbook middle child affliction, which I'm guessing only applies to one of you. 1.2521 0.04500 119 92 24 3
1775 So you've all entered some caption contest 698 times and never made a single top 3? 1.2521 0.05094 119 96 16 7
1776 Now which of your three personalities wants to start today? 1.2521 0.04806 119 94 20 5
1777 Threeapy 1.2521 0.04806 119 94 20 5
1778 As per privacy rules, remember not to reveal anthing personal. 1.2521 0.04500 119 92 24 3
1779 Let's debunk the causes of all these stacked-up anxieties. 1.2521 0.04500 119 92 24 3
1780 When you agreed to this love triangle, you didn’t see this coming? 1.2521 0.04172 119 90 28 1
1781 I see you’ve booked a session through the couch-sharing app. 1.2521 0.04656 119 92 22 4
1782 So...it all started when she asked for a threesome? 1.2521 0.04500 119 92 24 3
1783 So how do YOU feel you stack up to one another? 1.2521 0.04500 119 92 24 3
1784 To have your own session,you'll need to upgrade from Economy Therapy to Business Class Therapy. 1.2521 0.04656 119 93 22 4
1785 What makes you think I'm not prioritizing your needs? 1.2521 0.05232 119 97 14 8
1786 "I'd like to go a bit deeper into your experiences at summer camp." 1.2521 0.04806 119 94 20 5
1787 It’s a new concept called psycho bunk bed therapy. 1.2521 0.04500 119 92 24 3
1788 I’m giving you the Friends and Family Rate! 1.2521 0.04500 119 92 24 3
1789 Okay, first thing, the Bargain Plan does Not mean you all talk at once. 1.2521 0.04656 119 93 22 4
1790 We will now test the hypothesis that good things come in threes. 1.2521 0.04339 119 91 26 2
1791 Apart from dividing my fee three ways, it's highly unusual to include the boyfriend in your marriage counseling. 1.2521 0.04952 119 95 18 6
1792 We're taking group therapy to a new level. 1.2521 0.04656 119 93 22 4
1793 Just keep thinking: 'good things come in threes'. 1.2521 0.04500 119 92 24 3
1794 Don't worry, it's totally normal to come to therapy in tiers. 1.2521 0.05094 119 96 16 7
1795 I am an excellent multi-tasker. 1.2521 0.04806 119 94 20 5
1796 Don't worry, unlike Bob and Phil, you're in a safe spot here. 1.2521 0.04500 119 92 24 3
1797 It's not confidential, but I do make sure none of you know each other in real life." 1.2521 0.04656 119 93 22 4
1798 Please tell me more about your perceived multiple personality disorder, Sybil! 1.2521 0.05094 119 96 16 7
1799 So, Janice, tell me about this need you have to rise above others. 1.2521 0.04806 119 94 20 5
1800 Statistically speaking, one of you is depressed. 1.2521 0.04500 119 92 24 3
1801 Number two, tell me more about these feelings of anonymity... 1.2521 0.04952 119 95 18 6
1802 I know this therapy is bunk. But it's cheaper. 1.2521 0.04339 119 91 26 2
1803 So, not only will you leave here with no resolution to your challenges, but you'll also have the burden of the other two's miseries 1.2521 0.05094 119 96 16 7
1804 My multiple personality patients feel more comfortable this way. 1.2521 0.04500 119 94 21 4
1805 This is the Groupon special. 1.2521 0.05094 119 96 16 7
1806 So, psychotherapy works on many levels... 1.2521 0.04656 119 93 22 4
1807 Now, raise your hand if you know why we’re all here today. 1.2521 0.05094 119 96 16 7
1808 How’s your collective unconscious? 1.2521 0.03997 119 91 27 1
1809 Now, Jenny, try explaining to Mark why you left him for Carl. Like we practiced. 1.2521 0.04952 119 95 18 6
1810 I began my career working on an assembly line. Why do you ask? 1.2520 0.04410 123 95 25 3
1811 sir in the middle you gotta lay off the kfc 1.2520 0.04703 123 97 21 5
1812 This is certainly not my idea of what group therapy is supposed to be. 1.2520 0.04703 123 97 21 5
1813 OK, superego, how do you feel about that? 1.2520 0.04559 123 96 23 4
1814 Now I want you to imagine a fourth bed. 1.2500 0.04467 120 93 24 3
1815 OK, Econo-Tuesday. Five minute blames and two minute rebuttals." 1.2500 0.04308 120 92 26 2
1816 I think now we can make real progress treating your multiple personality disorder. 1.2500 0.03969 120 90 30 0
1817 There’s a chance you’re suffering from multiple personality syndrome. 1.2500 0.04467 120 93 24 3
1818 Let's see if you can recall your childhoods now. 1.2500 0.05592 104 85 12 7
1819 You should have opted for the PPO instead of the HMO. 1.2500 0.04915 120 96 18 6
1820 So today, we’re replicating your childhood traumas of summer camp. In 29 minutes you will jump into a freezing cold lake. 1.2500 0.04308 120 92 26 2
1821 Maybe crowdfunding the session wasn’t such a good idea. 1.2500 0.04915 120 96 18 6
1822 Groupon psychotherapy session. 1.2500 0.04308 120 92 26 2
1823 I just feel that I can’t get a moment to myself anymore. 1.2500 0.05423 104 84 14 6
1824 You’’ll each still be responsible for your own co-pay 1.2500 0.04771 120 95 20 5
1825 That's the last time I'll run that three for the price of one ad 1.2500 0.05541 96 77 14 5
1826 Well, you did use a Groupon. 1.2479 0.04361 117 90 25 2
1827 I'm sorry - but the diversity discount requires either two females or two of color. 1.2479 0.04687 117 92 21 4
1828 Well, the CEO of your insurance company is concerned his income is too low. 1.2479 0.04841 117 93 19 5
1829 Your addiction concern is "Groupon" 1.2479 0.04687 117 92 21 4
1830 And Charles, please explain why today's world makes you feel like you're just another sardine in a can. 1.2479 0.04527 117 91 23 3
1831 Nice work on why they left you and why it wasn't your fault, now let's wrap up with horoscopes. 1.2479 0.04991 117 94 17 6
1832 Remind me who has the issue with bedwetting. 1.2479 0.04527 117 91 23 3
1833 Yes,Todd. Technically you are the inner child. 1.2479 0.04527 117 91 23 3
1834 Consider this Step One in overcoming your fears of the Three Stooges. 1.2479 0.04841 117 93 19 5
1835 First step is to admit there is a control issue within the family 1.2479 0.04527 117 91 23 3
1836 This week I thought we’d try a new approach to group. I came across it on the Ikea website. 1.2479 0.04841 117 93 19 5
1837 Regardless of sexual orientation, this is not what is meant by ménage à trois. 1.2479 0.04361 117 90 25 2
1838 Your company’s health insurance plan is somewhat restrictive. 1.2479 0.04189 117 89 27 1
1839 That's normal... feelings of inferiority often arise in our stratified society. 1.2479 0.04841 117 93 19 5
1840 This problem of yours is really layered. 1.2479 0.04361 117 90 25 2
1841 And how does this lack of privacy make you feel? 1.2479 0.04361 117 90 25 2
1842 Can you see the glass ceiling, Sophie? 1.2479 0.04841 117 93 19 5
1843 Multiple personality disorder typically only applies to one person 1.2479 0.04527 117 91 23 3
1844 OK, so what I'm hearing is that you all now regret supporting Medicare for all. 1.2479 0.04991 117 94 17 6
1845 Tell me what it was like not to have your own room growing up. 1.2479 0.04841 117 92 19 5
1846 Ok, First Sarah, lets address your bedwetting. 1.2479 0.04841 117 93 19 5
1847 So you feel three's a crowd? 1.2479 0.04527 117 91 23 3
1848 I'd like to thank everyone for joining our therapy pool session, we'll be charging 25% less. 1.2479 0.04361 117 90 25 2
1849 Tell me, Do you think there's a hierarchy in your relationship ? 1.2479 0.04841 117 95 16 6
1850 Henry- I know you might be a bit embarrassed that Jane asked for a psychotherapy ménage à trois session. But you are in the middle, and Jane and Timmy are now offering you a fairer rotation schedule- here and at home”. 1.2458 0.04805 118 94 19 5
1851 Let's explore that some more. Why do you think that group therapy is a lot of bunk? 1.2458 0.05097 118 96 15 7
1852 Now, which one of you said 'no one thinks I'm special'? 1.2458 0.04652 118 93 21 4
1853 Now, I know why you're here, but first let's agree on something: Not all roommates get therapy like this." 1.2456 0.04915 114 91 18 5
1854 Take a breath and start at the top. 1.2456 0.04416 114 88 24 2
1855 Fear-of-heights exposure therapy must be tailored to the individual. 1.2456 0.05071 114 92 16 6
1856 How long have you been sleeping in separate beds? 1.2456 0.04755 114 90 20 4
1857 We will just start from the bottom up 1.2456 0.04755 114 90 20 4
1858 And you all agreed to Medicare for all? 1.2456 0.04755 114 90 20 4
1859 Welcome to thruples counseling. 1.2456 0.05222 114 93 14 7
1860 Welcome to the I am an individual , group session. 1.2456 0.04915 114 91 18 5
1861 So what I'm hearing is you all have been dealing with separation anxiety since the human centipede. 1.2456 0.05511 114 95 10 9
1862 If I understand correctly, your spouses feel that you are overly shelf-ish. 1.2456 0.04755 114 90 20 4
1863 No, Mr. Carlton - Id and superego are abstract concepts, not your close friends 1.2456 0.04589 114 89 22 3
1864 Tell me again why you think the throuple isn’t working for you... 1.2456 0.04755 114 90 20 4
1865 Our privacy policy insurance will guard the secrecy of your confessions. Remaining issues will be covered by no-disclosure agreements. 1.2456 0.04755 114 90 20 4
1866 Now which one of you is the id? 1.2456 0.04589 114 89 22 3
1867 How are you feeling about President Sanders' new healthcare plan? 1.2456 0.04915 114 91 18 5
1868 Welcome to my "Save a Buck" psychoanalysis plan. 1.2456 0.04915 114 91 18 5
1869 If you enjoyed this ShrinkPOOL, please rate me five stars 1.2456 0.04915 114 91 18 5
1870 Your copay has been discounted 1.2456 0.04915 114 91 18 5
1871 Trust me, this is very effective for middle child syndrome. 1.2456 0.04755 114 90 20 4
1872 I'm not Bernie Sanders but he approved this plan. 1.2456 0.04755 114 90 20 4
1873 Welcome to throuples therapy, where three is proud, not a crowd! 1.2456 0.04589 114 89 22 3
1874 Welcome to your first therapy session, Groupon customers! 1.2456 0.04755 114 90 20 4
1875 Has anyone ever talked to you about multiple personality disorder? 1.2456 0.05071 114 92 16 6
1876 And when did these feelings of indignity begin for you #3? 1.2456 0.04416 114 88 24 2
1877 We've found our patients appreciate the privacy of separate beds. 1.2456 0.04755 114 90 20 4
1878 The coupon clearly stated ‘three sessions for the price of one’. 1.2456 0.04416 114 88 24 2
1879 So tell me, Brenda, what brings your multiple personalities in today? 1.2456 0.04915 114 91 18 5
1880 Its part of our new diversity initiative. 1.2456 0.04755 114 90 20 4
1881 No frank, I believe that theory was debunked. 1.2456 0.04755 114 90 20 4
1882 Whatever you do, don’t move. 1.2456 0.04237 114 87 26 1
1883 It does appear that the odds are stacked against you. . 1.2456 0.04915 114 91 18 5
1884 Well, Jerome, it sounds like a case of middle child syndrome. 1.2456 0.04755 114 90 20 4
1885 When did you first start watching This is Us? 1.2456 0.03853 114 89 21 2
1886 Hmm, entitlement, lack of commitment and narcissism, a veritable millennial club sandwich. 1.2456 0.05071 114 92 16 6
1887 How long have you suspected you had multiple personalities? 1.2456 0.04416 114 88 24 2
1888 However, if you do not speak in chorus, I will have to charge you individually. 1.2456 0.04755 114 90 20 4
1889 ...you are special and unique 1.2456 0.04755 114 90 20 4
1890 Just so we're clear. It's still $75 an hour per person. 1.2456 0.05071 114 92 16 6
1891 I will bill your insurance companies separately but address you collectively as "the patient." 1.2456 0.04589 114 89 22 3
1892 Honestly, I never had to do this before during an election cycle. 1.2456 0.04589 114 89 22 3
1893 A ladder for your thoughts? 1.2456 0.04755 114 90 20 4
1894 Well, we like to call it Medicare For All - Beta version.” 1.2456 0.04589 114 89 22 3
1895 Look, you're paying for 'economy couch,' so let's just get used to it. 1.2456 0.04589 114 89 22 3
1896 Who wants to begin today? The id 1.2456 0.04915 114 90 18 5
1897 Now,which of you is here for bedwetting? 1.2456 0.04915 114 91 18 5
1898 I didn't know I had to do all this being the camp counselor. 1.2456 0.05222 114 93 14 7
1899 Seven more, we’ll have a minyan... 1.2456 0.04755 114 90 20 4
1900 Welcome to Wheel of Misfortune, the game where players compete for the most painful memories of childhood. 1.2456 0.04755 114 90 20 4
1901 Just see yourself in the other. Also, I need to triple my income. 1.2456 0.05071 114 92 16 6
1902 This isn't what I expected when I saw your sign 'discount psychotherapy' 1.2456 0.04416 114 88 24 2
1903 I am usually booked 3 months ahead and you millennials are into over-sharing anyway.... 1.2456 0.04755 114 90 20 4
1904 I’ll remind you again, with group rate therapy please don’t share personal information due to confidentiality rules 1.2456 0.04915 114 91 18 5
1905 How is this like Uber pool? 1.2456 0.04589 114 89 22 3
1906 Now which of you has a fear of heights? 1.2456 0.04049 114 86 28 0
1907 Just what makes you feel like family therapy is "bunk?" 1.2456 0.04915 114 91 18 5
1908 Being the middle child can be tough. 1.2456 0.04755 114 90 20 4
1909 Let's begin with a group sigh. 1.2456 0.04755 114 90 20 4
1910 So it all began on an overnight train ride? 1.2456 0.04915 114 91 18 5
1911 Let's move it along; my day is stacked. 1.2456 0.04915 114 91 18 5
1912 Agnes, why do you think you have been having nightmares about traveling in steerage? 1.2456 0.04237 114 92 19 3
1913 Yes, this is where open relationships lead. 1.2456 0.04755 114 90 20 4
1914 This isn't exactly what I meant when I said "family discount". 1.2456 0.04589 114 89 22 3
1915 On your new low cost health plan this IS individual therapy. 1.2456 0.04416 114 88 24 2
1916 Well, there's a copay for a ladder. 1.2456 0.05071 114 92 16 6
1917 So let's try debunking some of our fears. 1.2456 0.04589 114 90 19 4
1918 I graded your personality tests. Two of you showed room for improvement. 1.2456 0.04755 114 90 20 4
1919 If your other two multiple personalities want to come out now, I'll need higher ceilings. 1.2456 0.04915 114 91 18 5
1920 I’ve really got to stop advertising on Groupon. 1.2456 0.04416 114 88 24 2
1921 Welcome to my group session, No More Tiers. . . 1.2456 0.04755 114 90 20 4
1922 You are suffering from the tertiary stage of the illness 1.2456 0.04237 114 87 26 1
1923 So, tell me, Marjorie, how has being on top changed your mood? 1.2456 0.04755 114 90 20 4
1924 Sorry Bill– seat change requests cannot be accommodated at the fare price you purchased. 1.2456 0.04755 114 90 20 4
1925 If one of you doesn’t speak up, it’ll be an awful waste of a Groupon. 1.2456 0.04237 114 89 19 3
1926 So, when did you first start feeling your personal issues were insignificant? 1.2456 0.04589 114 89 22 3
1927 Time to de-bunk that stack of memories! 1.2456 0.04416 114 88 24 2
1928 Tell me again about the company's great health plan. 1.2456 0.04416 114 88 24 2
1929 I said I do COUPLES therapy. 1.2456 0.04589 114 89 22 3
1930 Yes, Bill, you can be on the top next week 1.2456 0.04915 114 91 18 5
1931 Well yes, it does say 'multiple personalities,' but it doesn't say multiple people... 1.2456 0.04755 114 90 20 4
1932 I can see why your ménage à trois may have failed. 1.2456 0.04755 114 90 20 4
1933 " No, you don't get charged a single rate by claiming you all share one personality." 1.2456 0.04915 114 91 18 5
1934 Your separation anxieties can be interpreted on multiple levels. 1.2456 0.04416 114 88 24 2
1935 That’s just bunk! 1.2447 0.05171 94 74 17 3
1936 This way I can quickly find your underlying problems, at least for two of you. 1.2435 0.04877 115 92 18 5
1937 Paul, why do you feel that there are people keeping you from moving upward in life? 1.2435 0.04553 115 90 22 3
1938 Here at 'Cut-Rate Freud,' we analyze only a third of your psyche. 1.2435 0.04553 115 90 22 3
1939 Maybe it's time to debunk modern psychiatry 1.2435 0.04205 115 88 26 1
1940 Let’s get started. Top down OK with everyone? 1.2435 0.04205 115 88 26 1
1941 Should I send the bill to Id, Ego, or Superego? 1.2435 0.04877 115 92 18 5
1942 Interesting thoughts about pregnancy, Karen. So now it's your turn, Michael. What's this Zelig syndrome you mentioned? 1.2435 0.04205 115 88 26 1
1943 It's called the trickledown theory. 1.2435 0.04205 115 88 26 1
1944 You’re the grumpiest triplets I’ve ever encountered, and my triplets-only practice is huge. 1.2435 0.04718 115 91 20 4
1945 I’m the first to accept Groupon insurance. 1.2435 0.04205 115 88 26 1
1946 OK, let's start by saying this could be over by November. 1.2435 0.04877 115 92 18 5
1947 Same insurance, same anxiety disorder, let's begin! 1.2435 0.05031 115 93 16 6
1948 Funny you should ask. I was wondering how to fit more patients in to my schedule when The Lego Movie gave me the greatest idea! 1.2435 0.04553 115 90 22 3
1949 There's nothing Oedipal in sharing condiments. 1.2435 0.04205 115 90 21 2
1950 So exactly which one of you is the middle child? 1.2435 0.04718 115 91 20 4
1951 Trust me. This is the best way to deal with the id, ego, and superego 1.2435 0.04553 115 90 22 3
1952 If I understand correctly, you identify with Huey, you with Dewey and you with Louie. 1.2432 0.04826 111 88 19 4
1953 Okay, one at a time, who was the one that wanted to be experimental? 1.2424 0.05390 99 80 14 5
1954 A split personality in what way? 1.2414 0.04992 116 94 16 6
1955 Two free with one isn’t much of a bargain if none of you talk. 1.2414 0.04682 116 92 20 4
1956 Buy one get two free: which one has insurance? 1.2414 0.04682 116 92 20 4
1957 You all have the same problem, so you all get the same treatment. 1.2414 0.04839 116 93 18 5
1958 This is known as the cutting edge IRL Trio Treatment for Social Media Addiction. 1.2414 0.05284 116 96 12 8
1959 I'm not sure this is what they meant by Medicare for all. 1.2414 0.05140 116 95 14 7
1960 Let’s share the emotional burden along with the out-of-network co-pay. 1.2414 0.04839 116 93 18 5
1961 Starting with you, Mr. Miller, why do you feel that first access to the copier is so important? 1.2414 0.04839 116 93 18 5
1962 So you mean to tell me that you all feel like you're trapped in a parallel universe? 1.2414 0.04682 116 92 20 4
1963 My rate is $240 an hour. Your insurance reimburses up to $80. No out-of-pocket for you. You're welcome. 1.2414 0.04519 116 91 22 3
1964 I don’t think parallel thinking works in therapy 1.2414 0.04350 116 89 23 2
1965 I'm still charging individually 1.2414 0.04839 116 93 18 5
1966 Let's start with your childhood. From the top. 1.2414 0.04682 116 92 20 4
1967 No Brad, your mother did not tell me to put you in the middle bunk. 1.2414 0.04350 116 90 24 2
1968 Rock, paper, Scissors to see who goes first? 1.2414 0.04839 116 93 18 5
1969 Just say present if your phobia is mention. 1.2414 0.05140 116 95 14 7
1970 Family therapy is not Groupon for individual therapy. 1.2414 0.05140 116 95 14 7
1971 When was it you began to feel that people were following you? 1.2414 0.04350 116 90 24 2
1972 Bernice: superiority complex. Adam: middle child syndrome. Mike: you're just a downer. 1.2414 0.04839 116 93 18 5
1973 Unbeknownst to our patients, we therapists have been having a little caption contest of our own. I congratulate you for making the cut for the final three. 1.2414 0.05140 116 95 14 7
1974 This may be a bit easier to clear up than the garden variety multiple personality disorder. 1.2414 0.04839 116 93 18 5
1975 You'll all be happy to know that I'm way ahead of my colleagues in both innovation and productivity. 1.2414 0.04682 116 92 20 4
1976 ‘I usually follow a top to bottom approach’ 1.2414 0.04519 116 91 22 3
1977 Sorry, everyone, but thanks to your insurance company, it was either the stacked couches or group therapy at Madison Square Garden. 1.2414 0.04839 116 93 18 5
1978 There's no premium seating, it's the same standard hourly rate for each of you. 1.2414 0.04350 116 90 24 2
1979 Top to bottom: Superego,Ego,Id 1.2414 0.04839 116 93 18 5
1980 This is the HMO plan. 1.2414 0.04519 116 91 22 3
1981 It appears you have split personality disorder. 1.2414 0.04682 116 92 20 4
1982 The accountants said I had to bump it up to a 150 minute hour. 1.2414 0.04519 116 91 22 3
1983 So your dreams about a sandwich...Do they make you feel like you're not part of the club? 1.2414 0.04992 116 94 16 6
1984 Now that I’ve psychoanalyzed all of you, I choose bachelor number two. 1.2414 0.05140 116 95 14 7
1985 Thank you for accepting my therapy Groupon offer. Let’s begin with your feelings about summer camp... 1.2414 0.04350 116 90 24 2
1986 Let's see: two's a company; three is a crowd. Which of you is in bad company? 1.2414 0.04992 116 94 16 6
1987 Patient number one for $500... 1.2414 0.04682 116 92 20 4
1988 Eeny mini miny mo. State your issues and away we'll go. 1.2414 0.04174 116 89 26 1
1989 How does the group feel about, eye contact, next week? 1.2414 0.04992 116 94 16 6
1990 Welcome to business class group therapy. 1.2414 0.04682 116 92 20 4
1991 Eating disorders are a common problem of the middle child. 1.2414 0.04682 116 92 20 4
1992 I won't lie to you: Triple-decker therapy couches are flimsy. 1.2414 0.04350 116 92 21 3
1993 Our hours are almost up. 1.2411 0.04438 112 87 23 2
1994 Do we want one analysis or separate today? 1.2411 0.04616 112 88 21 3
1995 Top to bottom: eccentric, neurotic, psychotic. Or is that bottom to top? Or are they, from top, lethargic, lazy and slothful? What a conundrum. 1.2411 0.05267 112 92 13 7
1996 Starting from the bottom, how do feel about your insurance not covering private sessions? 1.2411 0.04787 112 89 19 4
1997 Remember, in order to get the three for one discount you all have to have the same neurosis. 1.2411 0.04787 112 89 19 4
1998 No. I said there would be ‘tiers’ in your therapy sessions. 1.2411 0.04952 112 90 17 5
1999 Medicare for all, Psychiatric Division. 1.2411 0.05267 112 92 13 7
2000 You all have the same issue but for reasons of privacy I won't use your real names... 1.2411 0.04787 112 89 19 4
2001 So what makes you feel as if you are not special? 1.2393 0.04485 117 92 22 3
2002 I'm sorry but your 16.6667 minutes are up... 1.2389 0.05071 113 92 15 6
2003 While you're in here, you can speak threely about your feelings. 1.2376 0.05477 101 83 12 6
2004 I want you to face it; your psychosis is a lot of bunk. 1.2368 0.04712 114 91 19 4
2005 Tell me more about being stuck between a loveless marriage and an ungrateful child. 1.2368 0.04545 114 90 21 3
2006 Each one of you is the third child 1.2368 0.05031 114 93 15 6
2007 I'm not sure that a Groupon was the way to go this time. 1.2368 0.03999 114 89 23 1
2008 Who’s the middle child now? 1.2368 0.04189 114 88 25 1
2009 It’s not what you wanted to hear, but the diagnosis is clear: you have multiple personality disorder. 1.2364 0.04820 110 88 18 4
2010 Steve, I can see you playing with your balls 1.2364 0.04820 110 88 18 4
2011 Due to HIPPA privacy rules, this will be a silent group session. 1.2364 0.05314 110 91 12 7
2012 We'll see a breakthrough if you all remember what the shape of a love triangle is 1.2364 0.04820 110 88 18 4
2013 We're taking group therapy to a higher level. 1.2364 0.04644 110 87 20 3
2014 Well, how else would I vertically integrate?! 1.2364 0.04269 110 90 17 3
2015 Actually, my specialty is multiple personalities. 1.2364 0.04269 110 85 24 1
2016 When you said you were suffering from multiple personalities, I took that in more of a clinical sense. 1.2364 0.04644 110 87 20 3
2017 Well, this way you all qualify for a discounted rate. 1.2364 0.04820 110 87 18 4
2018 No, you don't get a single diagnosis discount just because you all hated your mother. 1.2364 0.04644 110 87 20 3
2019 So Jean, I hear you saying you feel subordinated by the social hierarchy 1.2364 0.04820 110 88 18 4
2020 Next! 1.2364 0.04460 110 88 19 3
2021 The Groupon rate doesn't include doctor-patient confidentiality. 1.2364 0.04820 110 88 18 4
2022 A new patient has been added to this therapyshare. You're all headed to approximately the same emotional breakthrough. 1.2364 0.05619 110 93 8 9
2023 This group therapy arrangement will have to do until I figure out to avoid overbooking. 1.2364 0.04820 110 88 18 4
2024 At this point, I think it's best that we triple your prescription. 1.2364 0.04460 110 86 22 2
2025 They didn’t teach this in graduate school! 1.2364 0.04269 110 85 24 1
2026 Stevies, I think I see a screenplay in this. 1.2364 0.05468 110 92 10 8
2027 This really isn't what co-pay means. 1.2364 0.04460 110 85 22 2
2028 So I'm assuming an LGBTQ menage a trois power struggle here" someone PLEASE start" 1.2364 0.04460 110 86 22 2
2029 Welcome to, 'Transition: From Submarine Life to Civilian Life." 1.2364 0.04269 110 85 24 1
2030 Let's begin with the triage...which one of you is most upset with my last bill? 1.2364 0.04820 110 87 18 4
2031 Now I know why she charges a third of other psychiatrists. 1.2364 0.04990 110 89 16 5
2032 Complex answers aside, what associations do you have to the word 'Oedipus'? 1.2364 0.05619 110 93 8 9
2033 You realize, of course, you are ADOPTED triplets 1.2364 0.04820 110 88 18 4
2034 It's the new way to do group. No confrontations. 1.2364 0.04460 110 86 22 2
2035 Ok. Three part harmony. “Lo-o-ove is coming, lo-o-ve is coming to us all.” 1.2364 0.05314 110 91 12 7
2036 I would encourage you to stop watching 'This Is Us" 1.2364 0.04820 110 88 18 4
2037 For once, the black guy's not on the bottom! 1.2364 0.04644 110 87 20 3
2038 If any more personalities emerge, I will have to raise your fee! 1.2364 0.04820 110 88 18 4
2039 Sorry, it’s the only way we can keep up this election year. 1.2364 0.04644 110 87 20 3
2040 To which of your personalities should we send the bill? 1.2364 0.04820 110 88 18 4
2041 Jamais deux sans trois! 1.2364 0.04820 110 88 18 4
2042 Before we begin, I'll need to see that buy one, get two free coupon. 1.2364 0.04644 110 87 20 3
2043 Our Entertainment book defines "session" as "a single appointment for therapeutic purposes with one or more participants"...so I can only accept one coupon. 1.2364 0.05468 110 92 10 8
2044 Personally, I’m a hoarder. 1.2364 0.05619 110 93 8 9
2045 Seems your Split Personality is real. 1.2364 0.05154 110 90 14 6
2046 Worst coupon ever. 1.2364 0.04644 110 87 20 3
2047 Imagine if you will each of you is a layer in a clubhouse sandwich 1.2364 0.04990 110 89 16 5
2048 Susan, superiority complex. Ted, you’re too compromising. Bob, low self esteem. Our time’s up. See you next week. 1.2364 0.04990 110 89 16 5
2049 Well, Steyer, Klobuchar and Buttigieg won't win the nomination anyway, so it will be easier to be friends again after they drop out. 1.2364 0.04820 110 88 18 4
2050 Well, to begin--because I think we should address the elephant in the room--the correct title would be This Is We. 1.2364 0.04460 110 86 22 2
2051 Let's begin our session with a few stanzas from Kumbaya. 1.2364 0.04644 110 87 20 3
2052 Same question to daybed number 2. 1.2364 0.05314 110 91 12 7
2053 Okay, now Jim on the bottom, what are your top two concerns? 1.2364 0.04820 110 88 18 4
2054 Tell me about your mother/partner/new medication. 1.2364 0.04269 110 85 24 1
2055 We’re here to debunk myths about group therapy 1.2364 0.04820 110 88 18 4
2056 Of course, it’s called “Group Therapy” 1.2364 0.04990 110 89 16 5
2057 No discount for triplets. 1.2364 0.04990 110 89 16 5
2058 For you, Ethel, I AM a Freudian. Curtis, you can think of me as a Jungian. As for you, Bobby, didn't mother tell you to go nap in your own room? 1.2364 0.04990 110 89 16 5
2059 I didn't know the discount rate meant we all get the same diagnosis! 1.2364 0.04460 110 86 22 2
2060 How do you feel about your GroupOn purchase? 1.2364 0.04644 110 87 20 3
2061 I always have clients in reserve in case someone cancels. 1.2364 0.04644 110 87 20 3
2062 Well, what did you think "copay" meant? 1.2364 0.04460 110 86 22 2
2063 It suddenly occurred to her that group therapy combined with a tanning salon would maximize profitability. 1.2364 0.04820 110 88 18 4
2064 Before we proceed, let me take roll call. 1.2364 0.04269 110 85 24 1
2065 Oh, it looks like my next appointment's coming up. Everyone, move up a spot. 1.2364 0.04460 110 86 22 2
2066 "So, you each really thought that Medicare For All would work without some unique modifications to your current health plan?" 1.2364 0.04644 110 87 20 3
2067 Of course, some analysts have debunked Freud's theory of the Id, Ego and Super-Ego...but in your case I think it might be useful. 1.2364 0.04820 110 88 18 4
2068 Given that your love triangle is out-of-network, this is a win-win for all parties. 1.2364 0.04990 110 89 16 5
2069 Your insurance wouldn't pay for a ladder. 1.2364 0.04460 110 86 22 2
2070 Welcome to managed care! 1.2364 0.04644 110 87 20 3
2071 Anyone never had group therapy before? 1.2364 0.04644 110 87 20 3
2072 Welcome to your first time share therapy. 1.2364 0.04460 110 86 22 2
2073 Why don't you feel special? 1.2364 0.04644 110 87 20 3
2074 Tell me more about why you don’t feel unique, Jerome. 1.2364 0.04644 110 87 20 3
2075 Does 60% off your hourly rate make you feel happy? 1.2364 0.04460 110 86 22 2
2076 Just to reiterate,no one has been involved in a menage a trois before? 1.2364 0.04990 110 89 16 5
2077 Perhaps the problem is that you’re talking over each other. 1.2364 0.04820 110 88 18 4
2078 Regardless of how it may feel, it's important to remember that you're not alone. 1.2364 0.04269 110 85 24 1
2079 Let's start with the highest co-pay. 1.2364 0.04644 110 87 20 3
2080 Bob, Carol and Ted we can't start until Alice gets here 1.2364 0.04069 110 84 26 0
2081 So let me get this right, you all think you are the same person? 1.2364 0.04820 110 88 18 4
2082 Marsha's plan to multitask didn't quite pan out as well as she planned. 1.2364 0.04644 110 87 20 3
2083 Now let's talk further about your fear of parking garages. 1.2364 0.05154 110 90 14 6
2084 So, you suspect your relationship is not entirely monogamous? 1.2364 0.04644 110 87 20 3
2085 Time sharing is the latest thing in therapy! 1.2364 0.04644 110 87 20 3
2086 No, I'm not going to get you a glass of milk. Please try to stay focused. 1.2364 0.04990 110 89 16 5
2087 I try not to judge, but I'm detecting a load of bunk. 1.2364 0.05154 110 90 14 6
2088 It's a new concept. it's called trickle down pyschotherapy 1.2364 0.04644 110 87 20 3
2089 Welcome to 'fear of bunk bed immersion therapy' 1.2342 0.04949 111 90 16 5
2090 And now for the tertiary analysis you've been waiting for ... 1.2342 0.04607 111 88 20 3
2091 Family rate 1.2342 0.04607 111 88 20 3
2092 The advantage of having multiple personalities is the group discount. 1.2342 0.04949 111 90 16 5
2093 My current approach to throuple therapy is three-tiered. 1.2330 0.04820 103 82 18 3
2094 I will be listening to all three of you but, I will be paying special attention to you 1.2330 0.05014 103 83 16 4
2095 So tell me, are you actually a middle child? 1.2330 0.04514 103 83 17 3
2096 So, did d'Artagnan refer you? 1.2321 0.04909 112 95 10 7
2097 Why does everyone think the daughter is the favorite? Let's start at the top. 1.2321 0.04909 112 91 16 5
2098 Let's begin with my mother. 1.2315 0.04482 108 85 21 2
2099 Next up, the swimsuit round. 1.2315 0.05028 108 88 15 5
2100 Bachelor number two... how would you describe your relationship with your mother? 1.2301 0.04534 113 90 20 3
2101 My fees range from a high of $250 to a low of $150. 1.2294 0.04250 109 85 23 1
2102 an orthodox analyst doing group therapy 1.2294 0.05154 109 90 13 6
2103 No, there is no discount for multiple personalities. 1.2294 0.04446 109 88 18 3
2104 Now, tell me about your mother(s). 1.2294 0.04633 109 87 19 3
2105 This joke follows the rule of threes and this is the only way we could fit you all in the panel 1.2294 0.04633 109 87 19 3
2106 There's no easy way to say this, but I'm diagnosing you with Multiple Personalities Disorder. 1.2294 0.04986 109 89 15 5
2107 Yes. This is the format for Freudian group therapy 1.2294 0.04986 109 89 15 5
2108 Of course, your therapy will be 2/3 less effective… 1.2294 0.04250 109 85 23 1
2109 After you use the restroom we rotate. 1.2294 0.04633 109 87 19 3
2110 Okay, who is the parent, who is the child and who is the adult - such a love drama triangle... 1.2294 0.04986 109 89 15 5
2111 So, you just watch? 1.2294 0.04986 109 89 15 5
2112 My diagnosis is you have multiple personalities 1.2294 0.04986 109 89 15 5
2113 At this time, please insure that your therapeutic couches are in their full upright and locked position. 1.2294 0.04446 109 86 21 2
2114 So when did you all start believing you were the "Mod Squad"? 1.2294 0.04633 109 87 19 3
2115 Is this your first group therapy session? 1.2294 0.04986 109 89 15 5
2116 I think this will make your multiple personalities feel more comfortable. 1.2294 0.04446 109 86 21 2
2117 Sorry,but buy one session,get two free it was your choice... 1.2294 0.04633 109 87 19 3
2118 it isn't exactly multi-tasking. 1.2294 0.04446 109 86 21 2
2119 I'm not sure this family therapy bundle was a good idea. 1.2294 0.04446 109 86 21 2
2120 The tiered-cake counseling strategy always works best with ménage à trois relationship difficulties. 1.2294 0.04813 109 88 17 4
2121 Your psyche is structured into three parts : the ego, the superego, and the complete lack of ego. 1.2294 0.04813 109 88 17 4
2122 What if you're all really the same person?" 1.2292 0.05437 96 79 12 5
2123 Now if this group therapy seems to be a little weird, well, it is. 1.2286 0.04541 105 82 20 2
2124 Think of it as speed-dating for your insurers. 1.2286 0.04738 105 84 18 3
2125 And how does what Kate feels about what Craig feels make you feel? 1.2286 0.05110 105 86 14 5
2126 Today's session is Trickle Down Psychotherapy 1.2286 0.04541 105 83 20 2
2127 Traditional therapy just doesn't stack up to my methods. 1.2286 0.05110 105 86 14 5
2128 What is your position in life? 1.2286 0.04334 105 82 22 1
2129 Tell me about your sleep-away camp trauma. 1.2286 0.04541 105 83 20 2
2130 Excess emotional baggage fees will be charged separately. 1.2286 0.04541 105 83 20 2
2131 Craziest first. That's you, Brian. 1.2286 0.04928 105 85 16 4
2132 Today we’re going to talk about autonomy. 1.2286 0.04334 105 82 22 1
2133 Who was liked best? 1.2286 0.04334 105 82 22 1
2134 You all did say you wanted group therapy? 1.2286 0.04738 105 84 18 3
2135 Talk about rat race huh 1.2273 0.05427 110 93 9 8
2136 Why do you think that people don't appreciate your individuality? 1.2273 0.04595 110 88 19 3
2137 You will each be billed separately for the hour. 1.2273 0.04595 110 88 19 3
2138 Let's start with the middle child. 1.2273 0.04217 110 86 23 1
2139 I'd like to explore what each of you were feeling right before you were traumatized by the Final Jeopardy question the day your episode was taped... 1.2264 0.04886 106 86 16 4
2140 I see you used the groupon. 1.2264 0.04698 106 85 18 3
2141 In this test of higher consciousness, one of you will be a placebo. 1.2258 0.05747 93 78 9 6
2142 Is this my dream or yours? 1.2255 0.04808 102 82 17 3
2143 They do not pay me enough for this shit 1.2255 0.05006 102 83 15 4
2144 If top bunk isn’t good enough for you, Marjorie, we can find you another. 1.2255 0.04602 102 84 16 2
2145 And how would you say birth order affects your relationships? 1.2255 0.04808 102 82 17 3
2146 Doris, has your surge to the top been worth the sacrifice of your friends? 1.2255 0.05006 102 83 15 4
2147 Sorry for the fees hike, but my publisher isn’t interested in the "Three faces of stEVE" manuscript 1.2255 0.05380 102 85 11 6
2148 Whose Groupon account should I charge this week's session to? 1.2255 0.04808 102 82 17 3
2149 A third of the attention, a third of the premium, hahaha! No, but seriously, let’s get started... 1.2255 0.04602 102 81 19 2
2150 Well, this is how we do it if you have a Groupon. 1.2255 0.04602 102 81 19 2
2151 All of us benefit when we bring diversity to the workplace. 1.2255 0.04602 102 81 19 2
2152 I promise there will be plenty of sessions for each of you to be on top 1.2255 0.04602 102 81 19 2
2153 We are now going to work on Andrea's trust issues by having her fall off the top bunk at which point you, Lennie and Bill, will catch her before she splatters on the Berber. 1.2255 0.05196 102 84 13 5
2154 What did you expect with Medicare for all? 1.2255 0.04808 102 82 17 3
2155 I was thinking split the bill but separate tips. 1.2255 0.05196 102 84 13 5
2156 Well, this is why you shouldn’t buy therapy on Groupon. 1.2255 0.04808 102 82 17 3
2157 So Quentin, both Julie and Don say they wish you would stop saying, 'I hear voices in my bed!'. How does that make you feel? 1.2255 0.05006 102 83 14 4
2158 Let's go back to that part about 'not having enough time for yourself.' 1.2255 0.05196 102 84 13 5
2159 Let us begin. The family saver plan covers a combined 100 Kwords. 1.2255 0.05557 102 86 9 7
2160 Let's all think vertically. 1.2255 0.04602 102 81 19 2
2161 What is the problem from your viewpoint? 1.2255 0.04808 102 82 17 3
2162 And number three- how do I remind you of your mother? 1.2255 0.04808 102 82 17 3
2163 I believe all of our problems are rooted in summer camp” 1.2255 0.05006 102 83 15 4
2164 I'm sorry we only got the second bunk, but our time is up for today. 1.2255 0.04808 102 82 17 3
2165 Therapy under Bernie Sander's health plan 1.2255 0.05006 102 83 15 4
2166 Jamie, Tyler, Jayden, what do you feel is the hardest thing about being in a thruple? 1.2255 0.05006 102 83 15 4
2167 Okay, I'll just spout some psychobabble, and you guys figure out who it best applies to. 1.2255 0.04808 102 82 17 3
2168 As it's a new and fragile patient stacking system - may I remind you not to sneeze.. 1.2255 0.03662 102 80 18 1
2169 So you feel like the man in the middle. Let's explore that. 1.2255 0.05006 102 83 15 4
2170 Research out of Camp Winnipisake suggests that bunking increases communication. 1.2255 0.05380 102 85 11 6
2171 Well, what did you expect with the three-for-one deal? 1.2255 0.04808 102 82 17 3
2172 Ok, White House Correspondents, what’s on the agenda for today? 1.2255 0.04386 102 80 21 1
2173 ... and how will you be splitting the co-pay? 1.2255 0.04808 102 82 17 3
2174 I see your problem has many layers... 1.2255 0.05006 102 83 15 4
2175 So you are all addicted to Groupon. 1.2255 0.05006 102 83 15 4
2176 You, in the middle row, suck it in! 1.2255 0.05196 102 84 13 5
2177 Thank you for choosing Uber’s newest programming, “Share-a-therapy, and as always, please rate me with “5 stars” if you’ve enjoyed your therapy,” 1.2255 0.04386 102 80 21 1
2178 Glad you are relaxing into our new protocol for multiple personality disorders 1.2255 0.04808 102 82 17 3
2179 So you have the same mother... 1.2255 0.05196 102 84 13 5
2180 May I see the groupon? 1.2255 0.04808 102 82 17 3
2181 Discount for family group plan?; right!??? 1.2255 0.04808 102 82 17 3
2182 Some people think psychiatry is a load of bunk. 1.2255 0.05006 102 83 15 4
2183 Middle Bunk Syndrome is actually very common 1.2255 0.04808 102 82 17 3
2184 Yes, I can accommodate more personalities as the need arises. 1.2255 0.04602 102 81 19 2
2185 You all seem to be exhibiting what the DSM 5 characterizes as "This Is Us" Disorder. 1.2255 0.04808 102 82 17 3
2186 I think what we've learned here is that Timothy feels more grounded when you give him a some extra space. 1.2255 0.05380 102 85 11 6
2187 This is good, tell me about the domineering member of the quartet... 1.2255 0.05006 102 83 15 4
2188 When did all the lying begin? 1.2255 0.04386 102 80 21 1
2189 I'm sorry that we have to do this but we have a line of 4,000 waiting and only so much time. Let's begin with a deep breath and our mantra "I no longer fear people with masks, children, public restrooms, shopping carts, pharmacies, airlines.... 1.2255 0.05006 102 83 15 4
2190 I get it. The group sessions cost less. 1.2255 0.04386 102 80 21 1
2191 And you're feeling caught in the middle. 1.2255 0.04808 102 82 17 3
2192 So is it fair to say that this has become a polyamory without the amory? 1.2255 0.04602 102 81 19 2
2193 Ask yourself, what deep in your subconscious made you ask if there is a discount rate for siblings. 1.2255 0.04808 102 82 17 3
2194 And what would you say you find most stressful about your coworking space? 1.2255 0.04808 102 82 17 3
2195 Well, I think you've all arrived! We at Cheapo Counseling recognize you have many choices in mental health services. We thank you for choosing Cheapo. 1.2255 0.05196 102 84 13 5
2196 So you signed up for the discounted group plan? 1.2255 0.04602 102 81 19 2
2197 And how does that make all of you feel? 1.2255 0.04602 102 81 19 2
2198 I see the Superego has taken the top bunk again. 1.2255 0.04602 102 81 19 2
2199 You got it on groupon as well? 1.2255 0.05006 102 83 15 4
2200 In my vast experience as a Freudian psychoanalyst, it stems from the mother, and trickles down from there. 1.2255 0.04602 102 81 19 2
2201 Is this everyone's first time in group therapy? 1.2255 0.05006 102 83 15 4
2202 I saw you in "This Is Us." So I already know your problems. 1.2255 0.04602 102 81 19 2
2203 Uber Therapy Pool 1.2255 0.04808 102 82 17 3
2204 Why do YOU think summer camp didn't live up to your expectations? 1.2255 0.04602 102 81 19 2
2205 Do you feel like you live in the shadow of your siblings? 1.2255 0.04386 102 80 21 1
2206 Now that you've witnessed how ineffective this therapy arrangement is, are any of you ready for a private consultation? 1.2255 0.04602 102 81 19 2
2207 I think it's pretty obvious who the middle child is among you. 1.2255 0.04808 102 82 17 3
2208 You are my trifecta: 13 total personalities, each billed separately. 1.2255 0.04808 102 82 17 3
2209 Just to clarify, your goal is full integration of mind and body? 1.2255 0.05006 102 83 15 4
2210 You're the ones that wanted to use a Groupon. 1.2255 0.04602 102 81 19 2
2211 And of course I will keep that in the strictest confidence, 2 pm Bottom. 1.2255 0.05006 102 83 15 4
2212 One out of three is not bad. 1.2255 0.05006 102 83 15 4
2213 The mental health coverage deductible you have chosen.... 1.2255 0.04158 102 79 22 0
2214 There is a clear manifestation of multiple personalities here. 1.2255 0.05380 102 85 11 6
2215 Patient number two - please describe your idea of a perfect date. 1.2255 0.04602 102 81 19 2
2216 Did everyone give the receptionist their groupon code? 1.2255 0.04158 102 79 23 0
2217 I think there's been a misunderstanding. I sell furniture. 1.2255 0.05380 102 85 11 6
2218 I'm sorry for your confusion, but the sign clearly says THREE-apist 1.2255 0.05006 102 83 15 4
2219 Since you all are feeling insignificant I decided to get you all out of the way at once. 1.2255 0.04602 102 81 19 2
2220 When they said group therapy, this is not what I had in mind... 1.2255 0.04808 102 82 17 3
2221 We will start at the top today and rotate next session. It is all about sharing . 1.2255 0.05196 102 84 13 5
2222 I call this individualized group therapy 1.2255 0.04386 102 80 21 1
2223 This isn't what I was thinking when she asked if we could carpool to therapy 1.2255 0.04386 102 80 21 1
2224 Welcome to the first of the 10 group therapy sessions you purchased on Groupon.com 1.2255 0.05196 102 84 13 5
2225 This will not help with your mental issues, but it does help prepare you for mass incarceration. 1.2255 0.04808 102 82 17 3
2226 How do you all feel about that? 1.2255 0.05006 102 83 15 4
2227 I thought it would be nice For our little group, and it would also help Jonathan with his unnatural fear of bunk beds 1.2255 0.03918 102 80 21 0
2228 How do each of you feel about your HMO? 1.2255 0.05006 102 83 15 4
2229 Your odds are one in three. 1.2255 0.04386 102 80 21 1
2230 Before we start, here are my ground rules: First, no cookie jokes. Second, no sandwich jokes. Third, no ménage-à-trois discounts. 1.2255 0.04808 102 82 17 3
2231 Thank you, Larry. And exactly when did you start feeling this loss of individuality? 1.2255 0.04808 102 82 17 3
2232 Each of you gets twenty minutes to spill his or her guts. Who wants to go first ? 1.2255 0.04386 102 80 21 1
2233 Next question is for contestant number 3. 1.2255 0.05006 102 83 15 4
2234 Multi tier or scaleable? To-may-to to-mah-to. It's all therapy. 1.2255 0.04386 102 83 15 3
2235 I think it's time we begin talking about termination given you started your therapy 35 years ago and still havn't worked out who gets which bunk bed. 1.2255 0.05196 102 84 13 5
2236 Jeremy, you're in the wrong cartoon, and ditch the tie 1.2255 0.05006 102 83 15 4
2237 Well, you all wanted me to fit you in. 1.2255 0.05006 102 83 15 4
2238 Yes, each “personality” will need to pay. 1.2255 0.04602 102 81 19 2
2239 Welcome to "Overcoming My Fear Of Bunkbeds" seminar. 1.2255 0.04808 102 82 17 3
2240 I'm sorry, your 5 minutes are up. 1.2255 0.04808 102 82 17 3
2241 Well now, Seems like you're all in this together 1.2255 0.04602 102 81 19 2
2242 You know, your group therapy sessions will be useless if you start snoring! 1.2255 0.04386 102 80 21 1
2243 Before we get to what brings you here today, let me just say, you are all amazing. 1.2255 0.05196 102 84 13 5
2244 Groupon? 1.2255 0.04808 102 82 17 3
2245 I asked my new scheduling assistant to stack my clients. 1.2255 0.05006 102 83 15 4
2246 Again, apologies--I didn't mean to stack my appointments. 1.2255 0.04602 102 81 19 2
2247 We'll handle the Groupon at the end. 1.2255 0.04808 102 82 17 3
2248 We're going to take this one level at a time. 1.2255 0.04602 102 81 19 2
2249 ...and I promise to give each of you the individual attention you deserve. Now, about those confidentiality waivers... 1.2255 0.05006 102 83 15 4
2250 There, now will you stop complaining about the wait times? 1.2255 0.05006 102 83 15 4
2251 So, you think the issue may be an unconscious sense of hierarchy among you siblings? 1.2255 0.04602 102 81 19 2
2252 Now we'll deal with Mary who still wets the bed 1.2255 0.05196 102 84 13 5
2253 No. It's not called "stacking". We call it "constructive interaction." 1.2255 0.04602 102 81 19 2
2254 So what makes you think you suffer from multiple personality disorder? 1.2255 0.04158 102 79 23 0
2255 Your answers to my questions will be recorded and machine-scored. 1.2255 0.04602 102 81 19 2
2256 Now, tell me more about that comet your waiting for so you can leave this planet and why. 1.2255 0.04808 102 82 17 3
2257 I'm sorry, but the group rate does not include doctor-patient confidentiality. 1.2255 0.04808 102 82 17 3
2258 Let’s role-play birth order trauma. Lucy, now you get in the middle bunk. 1.2255 0.04602 102 81 19 2
2259 Sorry, I can't give you the group rate... you all have different problems. 1.2255 0.05006 102 83 15 4
2260 Tell me why do you deserve the top bunk. 1.2255 0.05196 102 84 13 5
2261 ahhh yes, budget cuts. You're all here to complain about your spouse anyway. Heck, I'll start. 1.2255 0.04386 102 80 21 1
2262 I have a theory, but you're welcome to debunk it. 1.2255 0.05196 102 84 13 5
2263 I want you all to relax and take a deep breath. Mr. Brown please tell me why you don’t believe Harry is your son. 1.2255 0.04808 102 82 17 3
2264 So let's first talk about voting for 'Medicare for All.' 1.2255 0.05006 102 83 15 4
2265 And this is what we call “Goldilocks Syndrome” 1.2255 0.04602 102 81 19 2
2266 How much caffeine have you all been having? 1.2255 0.05557 102 86 9 7
2267 Welcome to "Shrink on a budget"! You will each have exactly 16.67 minutes to talk with no charge for eavesdropping. 1.2255 0.04602 102 81 19 2
2268 Get over it! Birth order does NOT determine triplet middle children! 1.2255 0.05006 102 83 15 4
2269 Your insurance doesn't cover you for the top bunk, Gerard. 1.2255 0.05006 102 83 15 4
2270 Let's first acknowledge that the patience and teamwork required to build such a thing together means that your relationship is not too far gone. 1.2255 0.04158 102 83 17 2
2271 One more session, and then I'll choose. 1.2255 0.04602 102 81 19 2
2272 Healthcare for all(at once), America’s solution to affordable healthcare. 1.2255 0.04808 102 82 17 3
2273 Look, the fees are only one-third what they'd normally be. 1.2255 0.04386 102 80 21 1
2274 Ahmmmm, Third level therapy still requires casual dress. 1.2255 0.05006 102 83 15 4
2275 The ad was correct. It’s a three bed apartment. 1.2255 0.05006 102 83 15 4
2276 Yes, the Groupon did say three for one - three people, one session. 1.2255 0.05196 102 84 13 5
2277 Until, now, my office was too small for family therapy. 1.2255 0.04602 102 80 19 2
2278 And how long has top bunk been making you feel that way, bottom bunk? 1.2255 0.04808 102 82 17 3
2279 Oh no! triple booked again? 1.2255 0.04158 102 79 23 0
2280 Same sperm donor, eh? 1.2255 0.04808 102 82 17 3
2281 Please, don't all free associate at once. 1.2255 0.05006 102 83 15 4
2282 Susan, Jackson, Billy welcome to your first “living with multiple personality disorder” session. 1.2255 0.05006 102 83 15 4
2283 As I said I first want to debunk the idea that you are all not being treated fairly in life 1.2255 0.05006 102 83 15 4
2284 You realize you are paying less 1.2255 0.04602 102 81 19 2
2285 I hope you don't think this is a 3 for the price of 1 session. 1.2255 0.04602 102 81 19 2
2286 This experiment will probably end badly, but since all of you share a car ride together, I’m willing to give it try. 1.2255 0.04602 102 81 19 2
2287 Even with the new approach, Henry felt forgotten as the middle child. 1.2255 0.04602 102 81 19 2
2288 Don't be embarrassed, tiers are a normal part of the process 1.2255 0.04808 102 82 17 3
2289 It does seem unfair that the guy on the bottom gets the most space. 1.2255 0.04808 102 82 17 3
2290 You say these feelings started after you all left the Navy? 1.2255 0.05196 102 84 13 5
2291 I hope you're as pleased as I am with your level of progress. 1.2255 0.04808 102 82 17 3
2292 Throuples therapy can be challenging. 1.2255 0.04602 102 81 19 2
2293 It's actually just group therapy by definition...you have my undivided attention. 1.2255 0.05006 102 83 15 4
2294 I'm pretty sure your issues with sibling rivalry have already been debunked. 1.2255 0.04386 102 80 21 1
2295 Welcome to our first Groupon therapy session. I hope no one has a fear of falling and if so, we’ll start with that... 1.2255 0.04386 102 79 21 1
2296 Today let's delve into your feelings of inadequacy and lack of individuality. 1.2255 0.04386 102 82 17 2
2297 Okay, tell me the story from top to bottom. 1.2255 0.04808 102 82 17 3
2298 In your case, I think that exploring your multiple personalities went two far 1.2255 0.04808 102 82 17 3
2299 You'll each have to poll above 10% to participate in the next session. 1.2255 0.05380 102 85 11 6
2300 It works perfectly when you all have the same problem. 1.2245 0.04707 98 78 18 2
2301 If you wake up naked just remember we're all family here. 1.2245 0.04925 98 79 16 3
2302 Are you feeling anger towards Groupon? 1.2243 0.04844 107 87 16 4
2303 We’ll start with you Jeffery... how does Ted’s memories make you feel? 1.2233 0.05150 103 85 13 5
2304 I understand it was difficult for you all when your joint venture in chaise bunk beds went bankrupt 1.2233 0.05150 103 85 13 5
2305 And why do Id and Ego never get the top bunk? 1.2233 0.05332 103 86 11 6
2306 Perhaps you have an unusual attachment to each other. 1.2233 0.04962 103 84 15 4
2307 Which one of you said last week said you dream of sandwiches? 1.2233 0.04562 103 82 19 2
2308 Welcome to our inaugural psychologist b&b session 1.2233 0.04562 103 85 15 3
2309 Today we will be reliving the traumas of summer camp. Carol, you first. 1.2233 0.04962 103 84 15 4
2310 It’s true; much of psychiatry Is bunk. 1.2233 0.04766 103 83 17 3
2311 Part of the problem is that you're always on top of one another. 1.2233 0.04348 103 81 21 1
2312 I'd like to thank all of your personalities for joining us today. 1.2233 0.04562 103 82 19 2
2313 Um, sorry, remind me again...which one of you was the bedwetter? 1.2233 0.04962 103 84 15 4
2314 This is not what we meant by 'Three sessions for the price of one!' 1.2233 0.04562 103 82 19 2
2315 And when did you first feel this loss of individualism? 1.2233 0.04124 103 80 23 0
2316 You’ve been invited here today to help debunk the myth of the id, the ego, and the super ego plus save some dough. 1.2232 0.04522 112 90 19 3
2317 You did the best you could, the best you knew how at the time. 1.2222 0.04665 99 79 18 2
2318 Just so you know. Therapy is cheaper by the dozen. 1.2222 0.04881 99 80 16 3
2319 No one said: "Medicare for All" would be "Medicare for Each Individual. 1.2212 0.04918 104 85 15 4
2320 Time’s up! 1.2212 0.04918 104 85 15 4
2321 Before we begin, let’s go through the terms and conditions of this Groupon deal. 1.2200 0.05041 100 82 14 4
2322 Sorry, but couch space is really at a premium here in Manhattan. 1.2200 0.04837 100 81 16 3
2323 Tell me about your mother... and your mother... and your mother 1.2200 0.04837 100 81 16 3
2324 Birth order continues to impact lives through adulthood. 1.2200 0.04623 100 80 18 2
2325 Well, Marci has a fear of heights, Tom has issues with being a middle child and Tracy has low self esteem 1.2200 0.04837 100 81 16 3
2326 We call this hat trick therapy. 1.2200 0.04623 100 80 18 2
2327 Sorry kids but my flight leaves LaGuardia in 90 minutes. So who's first? 1.2200 0.05041 100 82 14 3
2328 And why do you feel like you're never the center of attention? 1.2200 0.04837 100 81 16 3
2329 So let’s talk about your Groupon addiction. 1.2198 0.05806 91 77 8 6
2330 So what I'm hearing is that all of you have abandonment issues. 1.2178 0.04582 101 81 18 2
2331 Your unique problem happens to everyone. 1.2178 0.04582 101 81 18 2
2332 what did you expect when I offered you all a 2/3rds promotional discount on therapy 1.2178 0.04361 101 80 20 1
2333 This should prepare you for a long quarantine on a cruise ship. 1.2178 0.04361 101 80 20 1
2334 Say more about not feeling seen as an individual. 1.2178 0.04582 101 81 18 2
2335 Look, I know it's not ideal but don't forget you're getting a 30% discount! 1.2178 0.04794 101 82 16 3
2336 Your image of layered past selves is normal and represents growth. 1.2178 0.04794 101 82 16 3
2337 It's not favoritism. He is being treated for a fear of heights. 1.2178 0.05190 101 84 12 5
2338 Before I got my license? I was a flight attendant for Spirit Airlines... Why do you ask? 1.2178 0.04996 101 83 14 4
2339 Let's discuss your fear of pancakes. 1.2178 0.04996 101 83 14 4
2340 So tell me, how long have you been hearing these voices. 1.2178 0.04582 101 81 18 2
2341 You each have 90 seconds. Let’s start from the top. 1.2178 0.04361 101 80 20 1
2342 Thank you all for coming in. I’m sure that, together, we can debunk this problem. 1.2178 0.04794 101 84 13 4
2343 You can speak freely. I specialize in multiple personality disorders. 1.2178 0.04794 101 82 16 3
2344 You are all suffering from tripolar disease. 1.2178 0.04794 101 82 16 3
2345 If you wanted personal service you should have selected CounselingX, not CounselingPool 1.2178 0.04794 101 82 16 3
2346 Ok in group therapy we start at the bottom. 1.2178 0.04996 101 83 14 4
2347 And why do you think you struggle to be heard? 1.2178 0.04361 101 80 20 1
2348 Relax. I’m just here to debunk your anxieties. 1.2178 0.04582 101 81 18 2
2349 Be careful, Lorraine, up there on that top bunk. Last Thursday, a patient fell and broke her hip after a Freudian slip. 1.2178 0.04996 101 83 14 4
2350 Oh my dears. It's not a threesome if you use bunk beds. 1.2178 0.04582 101 81 18 2
2351 And your turn number three. How does that make you feel? 1.2178 0.04582 101 81 18 2
2352 No, it's not really group therapy, since hugging will be impossible. 1.2178 0.04996 101 83 14 4
2353 Your health insurance covers only semi-private group sessions. 1.2178 0.04582 101 81 18 2
2354 It's like a ride-share for your childhood trauma 1.2178 0.04794 101 82 16 3
2355 Now tell me your perspective. 1.2178 0.04794 101 82 16 3
2356 What pronoun does this come with? 1.2165 0.04452 97 77 19 1
2357 Really? I've never heard of an 'evil triplet' before. 1.2165 0.04687 97 78 17 2
2358 Okay, that's enough bunk for one session. 1.2165 0.04687 97 78 17 2
2359 I see your troubles have tripled since last week. 1.2165 0.05330 97 81 11 5
2360 Let me explain the difference, this is called Groupon therapy 1.2165 0.04452 97 77 19 1
2361 So when did you first realize that your ménage à trois was not working out 1.2165 0.04910 97 79 15 3
2362 America, we all have same issues. 1.2165 0.04910 97 79 15 3
2363 It's definitely Single Personality Disorder, but the good news is that I'll charge you as one client. 1.2165 0.04910 97 79 15 3
2364 I see you are using the Groupon today. 1.2165 0.04910 97 79 15 3
2365 Relax, this is family therapy 1.2165 0.04687 97 78 17 2
2366 Paul Lynde for the block! 1.2165 0.04910 97 79 15 3
2367 You would be surprised how many problems have their root in berth order. 1.2165 0.04452 97 77 19 1
2368 If you all agree to the same personal hang-up, I can give you the psychotherapy group rate this month. 1.2165 0.04687 97 78 17 2
2369 No, Super-ego, you can't change places with Id. You've countermanded him twice today and you keep interrupting Ego's monologue. 1.2165 0.04687 97 78 17 2
2370 It's our innovative approach to thruples therapy. 1.2165 0.04910 97 79 15 3
2371 Multiple Person Disorder is not a thing. 1.2165 0.05330 97 81 11 5
2372 In store psychiatry clinics at COSTCO 1.2165 0.04910 97 79 15 3
2373 Now remind me, which one of you says you’re experiencing boundary issues? 1.2165 0.04203 97 76 21 0
2374 So, which one of you is the super-ego? 1.2165 0.04910 97 79 15 3
2375 I’m beginning to realize this group therapy session is a lot of bunk. 1.2165 0.04687 97 78 17 2
2376 Health Care for all.... So tell me about your dreams. 1.2165 0.04910 97 79 15 3
2377 Super, we’ll start with you, and work on down to Id. 1.2165 0.04452 97 77 19 1
2378 I'm afraid our time is up and up and up. 1.2165 0.04452 97 77 19 1
2379 We all make choices, your choice was to choose the cheapest managed care plan... 1.2165 0.04687 97 78 17 2
2380 Before we begin, a reminder that there is no excess baggage allowed with your economy session. 1.2165 0.04687 97 78 17 2
2381 but you all chose polyamory, so whats the problem? 1.2165 0.04687 97 77 17 2
2382 Now, let’s consider an alternative perspective. 1.2165 0.04687 97 78 17 2
2383 The 16.66 minute hour. 1.2165 0.05330 97 81 11 5
2384 I am for "medicare for all... together". 1.2165 0.04452 97 77 19 1
2385 Try to recall when you first felt unimportant. 1.2165 0.04910 97 79 15 3
2386 Listen up. Yes, the new Group Therapy Family Discount Plan does allow for a ten minute nap break. 1.2165 0.04687 97 78 17 2
2387 This appears to be a clear case of multiple personalities 1.2165 0.04452 97 77 19 1
2388 One, two, three, upper, middle, lower. Where do YOU think you belong?” 1.2165 0.04910 97 79 15 3
2389 well, why do you think this wasn't what you had in mind when you asked about a family discount" 1.2165 0.05124 97 80 13 4
2390 Maybe Groupon is not the best for EVERY business. 1.2165 0.05330 97 81 11 5
2391 Why don’t we take it from the top? 1.2165 0.05124 97 80 13 4
2392 Friends and family discount. 1.2165 0.05124 97 80 13 4
2393 I’m glad to offer this reduced rate therapy. 1.2165 0.04452 97 77 19 1
2394 So which one of you used to pee the bed? 1.2165 0.05124 97 80 13 4
2395 You say you all have gender issues -your whole family? 1.2165 0.05330 97 81 11 5
2396 I'll bring back the ladder if you tell me who's sleeping with who. 1.2165 0.04687 97 78 17 2
2397 I understand your nervous. I was too when I first tried UberPool. 1.2165 0.05124 97 80 13 4
2398 Can you compliment her on getting up there without a ladder? 1.2165 0.04687 97 78 17 2
2399 I just can't seem to get any time for myself 1.2165 0.04452 97 77 19 1
2400 Anything you say here is safe with me. 1.2165 0.04687 97 78 17 2
2401 Settle down. It’s better than two pair. 1.2165 0.05330 97 81 11 5
2402 Didn't you learn to look someone in the eyes when you talk to them? 1.2165 0.05719 97 83 7 7
2403 It's your mother It's your mother It's your mother 1.2165 0.05124 97 80 13 4
2404 No, Aaron, you were Id last week. 1.2165 0.04910 97 79 15 3
2405 Welcome to Costco Psychotherapy 1.2165 0.04203 97 76 21 0
2406 It may seem like you have multiple personality disorder, but I don't think that's the case. 1.2165 0.04452 97 77 19 1
2407 -I feel people don't take me seriously. -Please wait for your turn sr. 1.2165 0.05124 97 80 13 4
2408 It seems like all you see is what divides you. 1.2165 0.04452 97 77 19 1
2409 So, as one of triplets, who wants to say what it feels like to never be treated as an individual? 1.2165 0.04687 97 78 17 2
2410 Sarah, please uncross your legs. 1.2165 0.04452 97 77 19 1
2411 Just one small quibble. Shouldn’t it be “This is We? 1.2165 0.04687 97 78 17 2
2412 The whole world is watching psychiatric patients, while the patients are watching TV. 1.2165 0.04452 97 77 19 1
2413 Everybody gets Xanax! 1.2165 0.04910 97 79 15 3
2414 In the name of efficiency, I need to tell you that nobody cares about your problems. 1.2165 0.05124 97 80 13 4
2415 It’s not that unusual when you consider the cost of a four bedroom in the Hamptons. 1.2165 0.05124 97 80 13 4
2416 The newest millennial experience: story time with “Mom” 1.2165 0.04687 97 78 17 2
2417 Yes, most of the rumors surrounding my practice have been debunked. 1.2165 0.04687 97 78 17 2
2418 I'd like to start with the one who "speaks no evil". 1.2165 0.04687 97 78 17 2
2419 Budget cuts. 1.2165 0.04452 97 77 19 1
2420 Okay, which one of you is not on their diet? 1.2165 0.05124 97 80 13 4
2421 Yeah, well I think that's a lot of bunk. 1.2165 0.05124 97 81 10 5
2422 It's not a disorder if there actually are three of you. 1.2165 0.04910 97 79 15 3
2423 Economy therapy sessions now available after 3pm! 1.2165 0.04910 97 79 15 3
2424 If you both want a closer relationship with your son, let's start by having him in the middle chair. 1.2165 0.04910 97 79 15 3
2425 This is how we can pay for Medicare for all...how do we like it? 1.2165 0.05124 97 80 13 4
2426 And you ALL have had inklings of a former life as sardines? 1.2165 0.04687 97 78 17 2
2427 Which one of you is Us? 1.2165 0.04452 97 77 19 1
2428 This is what you get with an ACA bronze plan 1.2165 0.04203 97 76 21 0
2429 'There were no right or wrong answers in a tense final round of 'Therapy!'' 1.2165 0.04910 97 79 15 3
2430 Let's make this quick. Netflix is removing Frasier from it's line up and I'm only on season 5. 1.2165 0.04452 97 77 19 1
2431 Excuse me! That question was meant for your middle self. 1.2165 0.05124 97 80 13 4
2432 Feel lucky—not everyone gets this much legroom. 1.2165 0.05124 97 80 13 4
2433 Patient Number Three, if you were on a date with Patient Number Two and your therapist texted to ask how best to respond to what Patient Number One just shared, would you recommend all caps?" 1.2165 0.05528 97 82 9 6
2434 Next time on This is Us.... 1.2165 0.04910 97 79 15 3
2435 So, tell me about this interdependence thing. 1.2165 0.04452 97 77 19 1
2436 When did you first come to know that you'd been ordained Queen Bitch? 1.2165 0.04687 97 78 17 2
2437 If you're familiar with UberPool you'll get the hang of this pretty quickly. 1.2165 0.04687 97 78 17 2
2438 So your parents don't think you stack up, is that what I'm hearing? 1.2165 0.04687 97 78 17 2
2439 You'll experience 3 distinct stages. 1.2165 0.04910 97 79 15 3
2440 And are you always dissatisfied with your position in life? 1.2165 0.04452 97 77 19 1
2441 I’m sorry, number 2, but exactly why do you feel three-tier psychotherapy is impersonal? 1.2165 0.04910 97 78 15 3
2442 Do you enjoy being on top? 1.2165 0.04910 97 79 15 3
2443 I think this is a breakthrough. Your Id, Ego, and Superego seem to all be working together. 1.2165 0.04452 97 77 19 1
2444 So last week Rita was on top, Jim in second and Pete finished third. Let's see who has the best dream today! 1.2165 0.04687 97 78 17 2
2445 I'm not listening to any of your bunk. 1.2165 0.04452 97 77 19 1
2446 And... you're triplets? 1.2165 0.04910 97 79 15 3
2447 Ok, maybe you can start by telling me why you feel that people aren't giving you their undivided attention. 1.2165 0.05124 97 80 13 4
2448 Sorry. Reaching the 'next level' didn't really change much for me. 1.2165 0.04687 97 78 17 2
2449 Look at it this way: Hell has at least twice as many levels. 1.2165 0.04910 97 79 15 3
2450 Being on top is not all it's cracked up to be, or not. 1.2165 0.04910 97 79 15 3
2451 Well Eve, I did say I'd give you a multi personality discount... 1.2165 0.04687 97 78 17 2
2452 Thank you for coming early. My son has a T-ball game at 2. 1.2165 0.04910 97 79 15 3
2453 Each or your insurance plans cut my bill by 2/3 - I'm demonstrating my new "Patient Efficiency Initiative"! 1.2165 0.04687 97 78 17 2
2454 So, why do you think you feel like a third wheel? 1.2165 0.05124 97 80 13 4
2455 Customer service means everything...would you agree this is an improvement over one bed for three? 1.2165 0.04452 97 79 16 2
2456 It's important that you rotate each week in order to avoid the dreaded "Lower Couch Inferiority Complex" 1.2165 0.04687 97 78 17 2
2457 It's just a visualization tool. Let's start with the middle child. 1.2165 0.04687 97 78 17 2
2458 First, I'd like to assure you that I treat my Groupon patients no differently than those who pay full price... 1.2165 0.04910 97 79 15 3
2459 I told you not to buy the Groupon deal. 1.2165 0.04687 97 78 17 2
2460 Sorry about this, but I still have to pack. 1.2165 0.05330 97 81 11 5
2461 Thank you for sharing that. Now, let’s shear what your other personalities want to say about your mother. 1.2165 0.04910 97 79 15 3
2462 The diagnosis: three patents, one personality. How to bill ? 1.2165 0.04452 97 77 19 1
2463 This Groupon thing isn't working. 1.2165 0.05124 97 80 13 4
2464 Group therapy for the individual. 1.2165 0.05124 97 80 13 4
2465 Which one of you wets the bed? 1.2165 0.05330 97 81 11 5
2466 This is not group therapy, it is individual therapy with no insurance! 1.2165 0.04910 97 79 15 3
2467 I know you expected to pay 1/3 of my normal rate,but with the extra overhead I'll have to charge you 50%. 1.2165 0.04687 97 78 17 2
2468 That's just a lot of bunk 1.2165 0.04910 97 77 15 3
2469 Group therapy is a real timesaver 1.2165 0.04910 97 78 15 3
2470 Raise your hand if you are feeling out of place. 1.2165 0.04203 97 76 21 0
2471 We had a Groupon. 1.2165 0.05124 97 80 13 4
2472 I'm sorry. This Groupon is good for a single Jungian analysis session only. 1.2165 0.04687 97 78 17 2
2473 Relax - and remember,you will each have a turn as the middle child. 1.2165 0.04687 97 78 17 2
2474 I'm hearing that one of you is down in the dumps and another is on top of the world... 1.2165 0.05124 97 80 13 4
2475 OK, you on top, you are super-ego, in the middle, you are ego and you on the bottom, you are the id. Now figure it out. 1.2165 0.04687 97 78 17 2
2476 OK...let's take it from the top again. 1.2165 0.04687 97 78 17 2
2477 But Marcia, Greg is still your brother, step or not. 1.2165 0.04452 97 77 19 1
2478 This isn’t the way we learned it in college but the HMO’s are really cutting back on my fees. 1.2165 0.04687 97 78 17 2
2479 Ok, so perhaps each of you would like to start by telling me how you FEEL about the health care system... 1.2165 0.04452 97 77 19 1
2480 Freud did some groundbreaking work on threeways, yes. So tell me about your mothers." 1.2165 0.05124 97 80 13 4
2481 No, you’re in Group Therapy IKEA. Group Therapy Hygge is down the hall. 1.2165 0.05124 97 80 13 4
2482 In my practice I have never encountered a case of Multiple Body Disorder. May I publish? 1.2165 0.04910 97 79 15 3
2483 Welcome to diversity therapy with rotating couches each session. 1.2165 0.05124 97 80 13 4
2484 I'll never get away this summer things are so stacked up at work. 1.2165 0.04910 97 79 15 3
2485 I'm afraid you three are disturbed on too many levels for me to be of assistance... 1.2165 0.04687 97 78 17 2
2486 In my experience all unhappy families are alike. 1.2165 0.04452 97 79 16 2
2487 So, the hive mind? It's not a real thing. 1.2165 0.04910 97 79 15 3
2488 This is the family rate so get used to it. 1.2165 0.05330 97 81 11 5
2489 What did you expect when you purchased time with a therapist on Groupon? 1.2165 0.04687 97 78 17 2
2490 So how did summer camp impact your inability to sleep alone? 1.2165 0.04910 97 79 15 3
2491 "No, it's not from Ikea. I actually got it at Home Depot." 1.2165 0.04452 97 77 19 1
2492 And why do you suppose you are still hung up on hierarchy? 1.2165 0.05124 97 80 13 4
2493 You should have read the small print on your Groupon. 1.2165 0.05124 97 80 13 4
2494 I truly value patient confidentiality, so please be sure to pretend no else is here when it's your turn. 1.2165 0.05124 97 80 13 4
2495 Group therapy, yes, but group therapy with respect for tradition. 1.2165 0.04687 97 78 17 2
2496 Eenie....tell meanie again, was it minee or moe that kept confusing things? 1.2165 0.05528 97 82 9 6
2497 Triple layer nuts. 1.2165 0.04687 97 78 17 2
2498 Would you like to split the tab? 1.2165 0.04687 97 78 17 2
2499 YES, I WILL ONLY CHARGE YOU EACH FOR 1/3 OF A SESSION. 1.2165 0.04452 97 77 19 1
2500 I understand that your problems have stacked up. 1.2165 0.05330 97 81 11 5
2501 I'm so glad you all decided to come back home for thanksgiving. 1.2165 0.04687 97 78 17 2
2502 Yes. Ménage à trois therapy is a specialty of mine. 1.2165 0.04910 97 79 15 3
2503 No, the group rate only applies if you all have the same problems and respond to the same therapies. 1.2165 0.04910 97 79 15 3
2504 Once again from the top, please? 1.2165 0.05528 97 82 9 6
2505 So how long have you all worked together? 1.2165 0.04687 97 78 17 2
2506 The results of "Medicare for All at Once" 1.2165 0.04687 97 78 17 2
2507 You, on the top -- go first. You have to be the most desperate to have climbed up there. 1.2165 0.04910 97 79 15 3
2508 I think a lot of these issues stem from Middle Child Syndrome 1.2165 0.04452 97 77 19 1
2509 You feel that Amber gets the most support in the group? 1.2165 0.04910 97 79 15 3
2510 Some people say we have separation anxiety. 1.2165 0.04452 97 77 19 1
2511 Just to be clear, how long do we have until your group acupuncture appointment? 1.2165 0.04687 97 78 17 2
2512 I think you may have issues with codependancy. 1.2165 0.04910 97 79 15 3
2513 Veterans Mental Health Psychatrist: Of course there’s patient Dr. confidentiality when one is talking the other stick your fingers in your ears 1.2165 0.04687 97 78 17 2
2514 But couldn't your agoraphobia actually be a mild case of vertigo? 1.2165 0.04452 97 77 19 1
2515 If you're happy with today's session, please give me a review on Groupon. 1.2165 0.04910 97 78 15 3
2516 Have you considered moving out of Manhattan? 1.2165 0.04910 97 79 15 3
2517 One of you really needs to drop out. 1.2165 0.04910 97 79 15 3
2518 So Jane, can you explain why you feel superior to the rest of the group? 1.2165 0.05124 97 80 13 4
2519 It's your mother's fault. Your mother's fault. Your mother's fault... 1.2165 0.04910 97 79 15 3
2520 Don't worry, Nathan. I think Diane meant an emotional collapse. 1.2165 0.04687 97 78 17 2
2521 The myth of the multiple patient disorder has been debunked. 1.2165 0.05330 97 81 11 5
2522 If you all talk at the same time you’ll get the full hour. 1.2165 0.04910 97 79 15 3
2523 Patient number two; describe your dreamiest session. 1.2165 0.04910 97 79 15 3
2524 So you think your issues stem from your helicopter parents? 1.2165 0.04687 97 78 17 2
2525 And what are YOUR goals, Mr. Middleman" 1.2165 0.04687 97 78 17 2
2526 Who had the distant mother again? 1.2165 0.04910 97 79 15 3
2527 This takes sharing and caring to another level. 1.2165 0.04687 97 78 17 2
2528 When I suggested a triple session, this isn’t exactly what I had in mind... 1.2165 0.04910 97 79 15 3
2529 Let's talk about why we're all here - compartmentalization. 1.2157 0.04951 102 84 14 4
2530 He really took ‘test group’ to a whole new level 1.2143 0.04644 98 79 17 2
2531 Although unusual, I know a tripolar disorder when I see it. 1.2143 0.04865 98 80 15 3
2532 Let's start with BottomBunk: did you wear a tie because you have unresolved mommy issues? 1.2143 0.04644 98 79 17 2
2533 Therapy Groupon 1.2143 0.04644 98 79 17 2
2534 Hi, I'm Beth. I'll be your camp counselor this summer. 1.2143 0.04865 98 80 15 3
2535 So tell me again, which one of you is Id? 1.2143 0.04865 98 80 15 3
2536 This deal is only good on wednesdays at 2 o'clock. 1.2143 0.04644 98 79 17 2
2537 Seat assignments are temporary, just until I learn names. 1.2143 0.04865 98 80 15 3
2538 Welcome to the first session of our "Fear of Intimacy in Bed" group. 1.2143 0.04644 98 79 17 2
2539 Last time I sign up for a mind altering threesome. 1.2143 0.05077 98 81 13 4
2540 I can't seem to escape my problems...they just follow me wherever I go. 1.2143 0.04644 98 79 17 2
2541 Your 55 minutes times 3 are up. 1.2143 0.04644 98 79 17 2
2542 One at a time now -- how is your relationship with your mother? 1.2143 0.04865 98 80 15 3
2543 I see. How do you feel about that, and that, and that? 1.2143 0.05077 98 81 13 4
2544 Will that be three separate checks or just one ? 1.2143 0.04865 98 80 15 3
2545 Who's first? 1.2143 0.05077 98 81 13 4
2546 Did you read the Groupon fine print? 1.2143 0.04644 98 79 17 2
2547 These GROUPON deals are getting ridiculous 1.2143 0.04412 98 78 19 1
2548 How do you feel about my new furniture 1.2143 0.05077 98 81 13 4
2549 Lisa you are above this. Gary you can only go up from here. 1.2143 0.04644 98 79 17 2
2550 I guess we are gathered here today because Sally's bedwetting problems are really stacking up. 1.2143 0.04865 98 80 15 3
2551 Multi-level marketing therapy starts with establishing your level of involvement. 1.2143 0.04412 98 78 19 1
2552 Who else, who else feels alone? 1.2143 0.05077 98 81 13 4
2553 I didn’t think psychology camp would make us bunk up. 1.2143 0.04644 98 79 17 2
2554 First of all, welcome to discount Mondays! 1.2143 0.04865 98 80 15 3
2555 Now that you've experienced mindfulness, you may return to your SAT exams.” 1.2143 0.04865 98 80 15 3
2556 I don't want to hear any whining, Jeff. When you get better insurance, you can have the top bunk. Now, where were we? 1.2143 0.04644 98 79 17 2
2557 Think of it as a stacked bar graph and please don't all talk at once. 1.2143 0.05077 98 81 13 4
2558 You’ll still each owe me your individual copays. 1.2143 0.04644 98 79 17 2
2559 Tell me about your Camp Mother. 1.2143 0.04644 98 79 17 2
2560 We're going to make you one again. 1.2143 0.04865 98 80 15 3
2561 As your new therapist I am required to thank you for accepting the new group insurance policy... 1.2143 0.04865 98 80 15 3
2562 Does it relieve or increase your anxiety to know that I ordered this from Nikea, a Chinese knock-off that only prints assembly instructions in Mandarin? 1.2143 0.05077 98 81 13 4
2563 You should've looked at the fine print when you signed up for low-cost mental health coverage. Now, regarding your mothers. 1.2143 0.04644 98 79 17 2
2564 I understand you didn't want to go there, but you are in a ShrinkPOOL. 1.2143 0.05077 98 81 13 4
2565 Well, birth order is a quantifiable thing, get over it. 1.2143 0.04644 98 79 17 2
2566 Life isn't a competition. If you show me you understand that maybe you can be the one on top the next session. 1.2143 0.04865 98 80 15 3
2567 From where I’m sitting, it looks like things are looking up for you. 1.2143 0.04865 98 80 15 3
2568 Manhattan parking attendant, why do you ask? 1.2143 0.04412 98 78 19 1
2569 Three really is a crowd! 1.2143 0.05077 98 81 13 4
2570 You say Amzon makes you feel small and undervalued. Is that because you deserve it? 1.2143 0.03626 98 79 19 0
2571 And what was it about sleep-away camp that you feel traumatized you? 1.2143 0.04865 98 80 15 3
2572 My approach might seem unconventional, but no one has managed to debunk my success. 1.2143 0.04865 98 80 15 3
2573 It's clear you're suffering from repressed anxieties over your berth order. 1.2143 0.04865 98 80 15 3
2574 Athos, Porthos and Aramis, let's start from the beginning." 1.2143 0.05280 98 82 11 5
2575 Managed care of the future. 1.2143 0.04865 98 80 15 3
2576 I think we really covered a lot today... that concludes groupon therapy . 1.2143 0.04412 98 78 19 1
2577 Tracy, if you could stick to discussing your political anxieties, it would help everyone get helpful counsel. 1.2143 0.04644 98 79 17 2
2578 And how did that Groupon purchase make you feel? 1.2143 0.04644 98 79 17 2
2579 So tell me, which on of you is undecided? 1.2143 0.04865 98 80 15 3
2580 If you wanted individual sessions, you shouldn't have booked online with 'TherapyDeal.com' 1.2143 0.04412 98 78 19 1
2581 As you may have guessed, my practice is strictly limited to clients in a menage a trois. 1.2143 0.04865 98 80 15 3
2582 I'd encourage y'all to reflect on the thought processes that brought you into my office today. Number One: Assuming that "Group Therapy" and "Groupon Therapy" were one and the same..... 1.2143 0.04865 98 80 15 3
2583 Complimentary breakfast and therapy at Betty's Bay Area Hostel 1.2121 0.04821 99 81 15 3
2584 Group therapy only works if everyone admits they're on the same level. 1.2121 0.04602 99 79 17 2
2585 Alright, next week John gets the top bunk. 1.2121 0.04130 99 78 21 0
2586 There's no 'I' in throuple's therapy. 1.2121 0.04602 99 80 17 2
2587 Is this OK? We could also go by age or perhaps IQ. 1.2121 0.05030 99 82 13 4
2588 These Groupons are getting ridiculous. 1.2121 0.04130 99 78 21 0
2589 I’m sorry, but I have to do everything in multiples of three. 1.2121 0.04602 99 80 17 2
2590 So, there have been some budget cuts 1.2121 0.04372 99 79 19 1
2591 Now which one of you is it that has the fear of heights? 1.2121 0.04602 99 80 17 2
2592 Tell me how you first began triangulating. 1.2121 0.05231 99 83 11 5
2593 Which of you is the middle child? 1.2121 0.04130 99 78 21 0
2594 Before we get started, I am obliged to tell you that the pre-authorization by your respective insurance plans is not a guarantee of payment for this service. 1.2121 0.05030 99 82 13 4
2595 We all have the same issues. 1.2121 0.04602 99 80 16 2
2596 So how does that make you and your other identities feel? 1.2121 0.04372 99 79 19 1
2597 Yes, depression is most definitely hereditary. 1.2121 0.04602 99 80 17 2
2598 Remind me, again... Who's having the problem with drugs and who's having the issues with authority? 1.2121 0.04821 99 81 15 3
2599 Oy vey 1.2121 0.04372 99 79 19 1
2600 Yes, most insurance covers group therapy as well as sprained ankles." 1.2121 0.05231 99 83 11 5
2601 Thank you for taking advantage of our Groupon promotion. 1.2121 0.04602 99 80 17 2
2602 We make the profit and you get the discount. 1.2121 0.05030 99 82 13 4
2603 Your previous therapist’s method has been debunked 1.2121 0.04821 99 81 15 3
2604 So, do you have the 3 for 1 Groupon? 1.2121 0.04372 99 79 19 1
2605 Sorry, my last appointment was cellmate group therapy 1.2121 0.04602 99 80 17 2
2606 Emotional support is much like Trickle Down Economics. 1.2121 0.05030 99 82 13 4
2607 Well if you had taken the time to read the brochure carefully you would have seen that it clearly states "threerapy." 1.2121 0.05030 99 82 13 4
2608 So far, none of you are stacking up. 1.2121 0.04372 99 79 19 1
2609 Do you have a strong support system? 1.2121 0.04602 99 80 17 2
2610 Yes, the goal of Group Therapy is to be able to share our feelings. However, Louise, I don't think it helps to argue over whose turn it is for the lower couch. 1.2121 0.04821 99 81 15 3
2611 Kevin, Randall, Kate, I'm sorry. This is our last session. Your stories just don't make me cry anymore. 1.2121 0.04602 99 80 17 2
2612 After this session, you’ll have the opportunity to rate your experience and to leave an optional tip. 1.2121 0.04602 99 80 17 2
2613 Yes, it IS group therapy but you still must respond in order. Now, starting from the top...Miss Franklin? 1.2121 0.04821 99 81 15 3
2614 So remind me Are you the group with separation anxiety or economic fixations over group discounts? 1.2121 0.04821 99 81 15 3
2615 You each have intimacy issues; my rent just went through the roof. Work with me, people, work with me! 1.2121 0.04003 99 80 18 1
2616 Relationship therapy for the modern love-triangle 1.2121 0.04821 99 81 15 3
2617 OK, let's begin this initial free association group therapy session. 1.2121 0.04821 99 81 15 3
2618 Not all together, PLEASE! 1.2121 0.05030 99 82 13 4
2619 Why do you say Mom was on top ? 1.2121 0.04372 99 79 19 1
2620 The king size is only available if you pay out of pocket. 1.2121 0.04821 99 81 15 3
2621 Welcome to the family therapy support group 1.2121 0.05231 99 83 11 5
2622 I think you will find my experimental hybrid of group and individual therapy very helpful. 1.2121 0.04602 99 80 17 2
2623 I heard psychiatry was bunk, doc, but I never expected this. 1.2121 0.04602 99 80 17 2
2624 Who knew group therapy would be this relaxing? 1.2121 0.04602 99 80 17 2
2625 So you don't believe that Freudian psychoanalysis has been debunked. 1.2121 0.04821 99 81 15 3
2626 I'm your camp counselor. 1.2121 0.04821 99 81 15 3
2627 Have you tried talking to Mr. Roper? 1.2115 0.04668 104 85 16 3
2628 It would help if all three of you had the same issue... 1.2105 0.04708 95 77 16 2
2629 Welcome to therapy pool. 1.2105 0.04708 95 77 16 2
2630 And finally... let's hear from you in the middle 1.2105 0.04463 95 76 18 1
2631 Now Eric, why do you think you deserve the top bunk? 1.2105 0.04463 95 76 18 1
2632 Ed, stop - you're superego NEXT week. 1.2105 0.04463 95 76 18 1
2633 I think there was a misunderstanding. I suggested we could use more *patience* in these sessions. 1.2105 0.04708 95 77 16 2
2634 Welcome all to our introductory session in the Safe Practice of Ménage à Trois. 1.2105 0.05161 95 79 12 4
2635 And what about you number two,Do you feel the same as either number one or number three? 1.2105 0.04708 95 77 16 2
2636 We're here to debunk your individual victimhood theories 1.2105 0.05161 95 79 12 4
2637 Okay, when Mom broke up the pillow fight, how did that make you feel? 1.2105 0.04463 95 76 18 1
2638 Become One! 1.2105 0.05161 95 79 12 4
2639 So to recap, you feel like the walls are closing in? Or just the ceiling and floors? 1.2105 0.05161 95 79 12 4
2640 Okay, that concludes today's session and Costco closes in fifteen minutes if you need mayonnaise or a big screen TV? Jodi Felton, Los Gatos, Ca 1.2105 0.04708 95 77 16 2
2641 I'm sorry, but each of your 16.666 minutes are up. We'll have to continue this next week. 1.2105 0.04940 95 78 14 3
2642 We will focus on self confidence today...which one of you is Anna? 1.2105 0.04940 95 78 14 3
2643 ... on the other hand, you save on the co-pay. 1.2105 0.04708 95 77 16 2
2644 Groupon therapy sessions 30٪ off 1.2105 0.04708 95 77 16 2
2645 Next time we’ll all contemplate our bare toes, then go out for a nice group pedicure. 1.2105 0.05578 95 81 8 6
2646 And yes, it’s time to discuss the codependent issues in the room... 1.2105 0.04205 95 75 20 0
2647 Before we get started, which of you had the Groupon? 1.2105 0.05161 95 79 12 4
2648 Just so you know, the Groupon rate is only good for the first session. 1.2105 0.04463 95 76 18 1
2649 The group on current political affairs just left, so you're on climate change, right? 1.2105 0.05161 95 79 12 4
2650 I'd call them characters, John, but I'm not really sure they're personalities. 1.2105 0.04463 95 76 18 1
2651 Tell me why you asked for the group rate. 1.2105 0.04205 95 75 20 0
2652 You said you had a three for one coupon? 1.2105 0.04708 95 77 16 2
2653 Your reticence is counterproductive to our goals at summer therapy camp. 1.2105 0.05161 95 79 12 4
2654 Thanks for booking through our new Session Share app 1.2105 0.05161 95 79 12 4
2655 Tell me how you feel when your health insurance doesn't come close to covering the cost of a 1-on-1 therapy session. 1.2105 0.04708 95 77 16 2
2656 Fear of heights, groups and tight places all in one session. Hello B.M.W. 1.2105 0.04940 95 78 14 3
2657 Id, please stop interrupting down there. 1.2100 0.04777 100 82 15 3
2658 Welcome to the Beta test site for Medicare For All. 1.2100 0.04560 100 81 17 2