Contest #686


Cartoon

686

The winning captions

These captions are chosen by The New Yorker.

  1. “I don’t know how to tell him it’s not his.”
  2. “He’s brooding again.”
  3. “But will he lift a finger after it hatches?”


Name Value
Submission deadline 2019-11-17T23:53:00.000Z
Voting started -
Voting ended 2019-12-01T23:55:00.000Z
Finalists announced 2019-11-25T23:54:00.000Z
Magazine(s) announcing finalists issued December 02, 2019
Number of captions 5342
Number of responses 1070506
Number of participants -


Dashboard

In this table, the "mean" means the empirically measured average funniness score when the "unfunny", "somewhat funny" and "funny" receive a funniness score of 1, 2, 3 respectively. "Precison" is the standard error of the mean, the standard deviation of the mean estimate. With that, a caption with an empirical mean μ and precision σ has true mean in the range [μ - 2σ, μ + 2σ] with 95% probability by the 68-95-99.7 rule assuming the responses are indepedent and identically distributed.

Rank Caption Mean Precision Total votes "Unfunny" votes "Somewhat funny" votes "Funny" votes
0 Oh sure, when a MAN does it, suddenly it’s such a big deal! 2.0828 0.00644 13773 3407 5819 4547
1 I don't know how to tell him it's not his. 2.0184 0.00689 12686 3700 5052 3934
2 At least the hard part's over. 1.9949 0.00717 12349 3946 4520 3883
3 Arthur's third wish was for a 'young chick.' 1.9775 0.00885 8611 3005 2795 2811
4 It's for our retirement. Harold always takes things so literally. 1.9603 0.00777 9840 3127 3977 2736
5 But will he lift a finger after it hatches? 1.9494 0.00741 10713 3432 4391 2890
6 Turns out it wasn’t a kidney stone after all. 1.9474 0.00810 9740 3380 3492 2868
7 To be honest, I don’t remember which one came first 1.9254 0.00759 10934 3883 3984 3067
8 I’d leave him if he weren’t such a good lay. 1.9060 0.00812 10312 4037 3207 3068
9 We say that whatever it is we're going to love it, as long as it's healthy and doesn't try to eat us. 1.8830 0.01515 2548 911 1024 613
10 I didn’t know he had it in him, either. 1.8659 0.00799 9085 3323 3657 2105
11 We like "Humpty", if it is a boy. 1.8639 0.00914 7397 2855 2694 1848
12 Costco, where else? 1.8558 0.00984 6492 2575 2278 1639
13 You're so lucky. I can't even get my husband to water the plants. 1.8411 0.00764 9571 3557 3978 2036
14 I should've asked for specifics when he said he had a nest egg. 1.8213 0.01013 5473 2112 2227 1134
15 I thought you were empty nesters. 1.8026 0.00809 8658 3474 3419 1765
16 I don't mind him sitting on it. It's the clucking that annoys me. 1.7974 0.00871 7639 3146 2895 1598
17 These are the things that no one tells you about before you marry an ornithologist. 1.7934 0.00846 8145 3390 3048 1707
18 His left one has already been removed.. 1.7850 0.00920 8158 3883 2146 2129
19 On the bright side, he’s cage free. 1.7790 0.01073 4972 2094 1883 995
20 Did Jim always wear glasses? 1.7785 0.00980 6690 3054 2065 1571
21 Don’t ask why. Ask how. 1.7564 0.01273 3531 1545 1301 685
22 We don't care if it's a brontosaurus or a t-rex, as long as it's healthy. 1.7251 0.00916 6675 3037 2436 1202
23 He's brooding again. 1.7096 0.00948 6175 2871 2226 1078
24 I haven’t the heart to tell him that he’s not the father... 1.7025 0.01459 2538 1175 943 420
25 It was the only thing at Ikea that he didn't have to assemble. 1.6987 0.00917 6804 3279 2296 1229
26 It's only fair. I had to lay it. 1.6985 0.01131 4345 2059 1537 749
27 Then he said, I’ll hatch an egg before they impeach him! 1.6803 0.01323 3306 1654 1055 597
28 Somewhere, there’s a confused but comfortable chicken sitting in a BarcaLounger. 1.6690 0.01327 3335 1714 1011 610
29 No, it's better. For years he's been sitting on the fence. 1.6544 0.02242 1085 548 364 173
30 I’m just praying the real mother doesn’t come back. 1.6414 0.01060 4735 2412 1609 714
31 When it was golf ball-sized I warned him to call the doctor. 1.6332 0.01422 2582 1321 887 374
32 He thinks it'll distract people from noticing his bald spot. 1.6292 0.01479 2430 1263 805 362
33 I don't know what's in there, but I'm not cleaning up after it. 1.6169 0.01282 3164 1660 1056 448
34 Ever since he retired all he does is lay around the house all day. 1.6168 0.01870 1503 793 493 217
35 After this, he flies North for winter, thank God. 1.6112 0.01162 4084 2228 1216 640
36 When's the species reveal party? 1.6044 0.02185 1102 594 350 158
37 At least somethings getting laid here 1.6021 0.01244 3672 2064 1005 603
38 Quit your whining. I hatched the first three all by myself. 1.5921 0.01001 5001 2689 1663 649
39 I don't have the heart to tell him it's hard-boiled. 1.5895 0.01325 3038 1689 907 442
40 It’s a donor egg. 1.5858 0.01386 2612 1423 850 339
41 He won’t stop tweeting. 1.5758 0.01605 1999 1118 611 270
42 Well, at least he's off his high horse. 1.5628 0.01494 2239 1263 692 284
43 Yes, Herb has both gender AND species issues. 1.5615 0.01974 1341 773 383 185
44 That's what I thought, too, when he bragged about the size of his nest egg. 1.5583 0.01267 2934 1625 980 329
45 Hmmm. Seems you may have misunderstood your financial advisor, Jonathan. 1.5518 0.01292 2956 1689 903 364
46 Well it's not mine, I can tell that much. 1.5478 0.01436 2426 1403 717 306
47 Ever get the feeling you're a cartoon in the New Yolker? 1.5412 0.01634 1977 1183 518 276
48 You told him "nest egg" is a metaphor, right? 1.5386 0.02067 1075 609 353 113
49 He has to sit on it until he's 65, then we can retire. 1.5368 0.01518 2049 1178 642 229
50 Dammit, Harold! "Blow it out your ass" is only an expression, 1.5350 0.02251 1071 655 259 157
51 28 Days!?! Men always get it is SOOO easy. 1.5321 0.02113 1075 627 324 124
52 Horace thought we should pre-order our Thanksgiving turkey this year. 1.5281 0.02300 909 534 270 105
53 Now you see why I'm always walking on eggshells around him. 1.5271 0.01625 1842 1089 535 218
54 This is why you're never supposed to swallow bubble gum. 1.5265 0.01690 1890 1169 447 274
55 Oh, stop brooding Harold. 1.5239 0.01645 1798 1069 516 213
56 We could get rich, or, it eats him alive. Either way it's worth it. 1.5237 0.01825 1499 901 411 187
57 I wish he'd go back to work. All he does is brood. 1.5208 0.01826 1296 739 439 118
58 I told him "Jim, grow a pair". Unfortunately he can't multitask 1.5183 0.01836 1557 964 379 214
59 After six years of therapy he's finally come out of his shell. 1.5174 0.01970 1208 715 361 132
60 Are you sure it's yours? 1.5166 0.01640 1628 940 535 153
61 He’s actually being a good sport. We ordered a recliner. 1.5140 0.01692 1611 953 488 170
62 Been in his family for millions of years... but Fred says that one day ... 1.5132 0.01818 1590 993 378 219
63 What can I say? I married a Hatcher. 1.5072 0.01939 1467 944 302 221
64 We finally came up with something he can do in retirement. 1.5071 0.01732 1469 864 465 140
65 I don’t know how it happened. All I know is somewhere there’s a pterodactyl waiting for a recliner to hatch. 1.5050 0.02534 802 503 193 106
66 I shouldn't have let him choose our egg donor. 1.5000 0.01934 1268 779 346 143
67 Our previous sitter got hit by a car while crossing the road 1.4996 0.02005 1243 777 311 155
68 We're having 18 people over for an omelette on Saturday. 1.4996 0.01933 1207 725 361 121
69 I should never let Harold shop at Costco by himself. 1.4979 0.02013 1173 719 320 130
70 He's the one who wanted kids. You figure it out, I said. 1.4977 0.01860 1286 771 390 125
71 Well look at that, Frank. You finally laid a chick. 1.4973 0.01980 1275 800 316 159
72 Say what you will, it's easier to ignore than the elephant we used to have in the living room. 1.4947 0.02819 562 339 168 55
73 We're hoping for an emu. 1.4936 0.01934 1165 698 359 108
74 You are SO lucky. My husband gambled away most of our savings. 1.4920 0.01900 1181 704 373 104
75 I told him not to swallow his bubblegum. 1.4915 0.02084 1178 753 271 154
76 I'd take him to a therapist but we need the eggs. 1.4902 0.02057 1122 698 298 126
77 And we still have nothing to talk about. 1.4876 0.02289 884 547 243 94
78 The doctor thinks it's empty nest syndrome. 1.4872 0.02067 1053 645 303 105
79 I'm taking bets on which one cracks first. 1.4864 0.02133 1026 637 277 111
80 I thought you were getting that lanced? 1.4851 0.02110 1076 677 276 123
81 Every one else’s husband gets a sport car for their midlife crisis. 1.4846 0.02040 1069 657 307 105
82 Are you sure you spell-checked your request for an ergonomic chair? 1.4835 0.02684 695 446 162 87
83 You feel sorry for him? I laid it. 1.4828 0.02140 1044 659 265 119
84 You should have been here when he laid it! 1.4789 0.02084 996 610 295 91
85 I don’t think the hemorrhoid cream is working. 1.4758 0.02282 952 616 219 117
86 He accidentally ordered an eggonomic chair instead of ergonomic. 1.4753 0.02174 951 594 262 95
87 The adoption process is much easier in the Galapagos. 1.4737 0.02827 589 375 149 65
88 Don’t all powerful men nourish HUGE EGOS ?? 1.4736 0.02344 929 610 198 121
89 These gender reveal parties keep getting weirder. 1.4734 0.02267 921 588 230 103
90 All I know is, whatever comes out of there I’m not the mother. 1.4729 0.02233 924 592 230 101
91 I told George, why don’t you just get a puppy like everybody else? 1.4721 0.02207 913 571 253 89
92 Harold, this time, I believe you passed more than gas. 1.4710 0.02341 879 567 210 102
93 'Cornish Modern,' the guy at the store said. 1.4685 0.02244 873 547 243 83
94 If I feed him beans it stays inflated. 1.4671 0.02431 805 520 194 91
95 When he proposed, he said he had a substantial nest egg. 1.4653 0.02327 836 532 219 85
96 Herb insists on managing our nest egg himself." 1.4621 0.02217 805 492 254 59
97 He used to work for the President until he ran afoul of the Hatch Act. 1.4616 0.02422 782 503 197 82
98 His financial advisor told him to sit on his nest egg and ride it out" 1.4607 0.02557 636 396 187 53
99 And just when is Big Bird coming back for it? 1.4598 0.02296 772 478 233 61
100 'Worst case of empty nest syndrome the doctor's ever seen.' 1.4597 0.02341 781 492 219 70
101 And then he said, "what's the worst that could happen?" 1.4594 0.02333 775 486 222 67
102 He's always so literal. I told him to blow it out his ass. 1.4585 0.02512 772 510 170 92
103 Costco. 1.4558 0.02506 746 488 176 82
104 Of course we could control his hallucinations with medication, but we need the eggs. 1.4556 0.02423 744 475 199 70
105 I’m starting to think this isn’t an exercise ball. 1.4544 0.02516 625 387 192 46
106 Now that he's retired, Ed spends all day protecting our nest egg. 1.4515 0.02355 711 442 217 52
107 It's a rescue,of course. 1.4513 0.02664 596 379 165 52
108 The egg is fake...but his problems are real 1.4500 0.02578 700 461 163 76
109 I don’t have the heart to tell him it’s my Pilates ball 1.4499 0.02511 698 451 180 67
110 He shot its mother during hunting season. Now he feels responsible. 1.4479 0.02452 681 431 195 55
111 Fifty bucks says he cracks first. 1.4479 0.02530 681 440 177 64
112 ... and now we're egging you OFF !! 1.4466 0.02819 674 470 107 97
113 I still think Danish modern furniture is too severe. 1.4463 0.02488 670 427 187 56
114 The kids leaving for college has really hit him hard. 1.4446 0.02452 659 415 195 49
115 I think you should get that looked at 1.4444 0.02541 657 423 176 58
116 At least he's not sitting around doing nothing. 1.4438 0.02497 649 412 186 51
117 Hormone free, my ass. 1.4431 0.02660 650 431 150 69
118 What's worse, there are eleven more of them in the garage! 1.4422 0.02530 640 409 179 52
119 We finally found a chair where he won't fall asleep. 1.4409 0.02559 601 380 177 44
120 Harold doesn't trust the bank with our nest egg. 1.4400 0.02449 625 390 195 40
121 Trust me, he came first. 1.4396 0.02663 621 408 153 60
122 Someone named "Horton" asked him to sit on this for a bit 1.4394 0.02549 619 395 176 48
123 Fred, roosters lay hens not eggs." 1.4385 0.02701 618 410 145 63
124 I hope you can stick around. The funny part is when he tries to get down. 1.4382 0.02964 477 309 127 41
125 At night I just throw a cloth over him. 1.4364 0.02689 566 365 155 46
126 Our entire life savings are in there. 1.4359 0.02642 601 391 158 52
127 I don't care what she told you, you're not the father 1.4357 0.02670 599 392 153 54
128 Now he expects me to bring home the bacon. 1.4357 0.02617 599 387 163 49
129 Men will mount anything. 1.4357 0.02659 599 391 155 53
130 His chair's design is a mashup of Bauhaus and Henhaus. 1.4355 0.02585 597 390 157 49
131 Since they moved his company to the business incubator he's been bringing work home. 1.4353 0.02661 595 388 155 52
132 I see Ed is hatching another one of his big schemes. 1.4328 0.02741 580 384 141 55
133 I don't want to be around when that colostomy bag' blows. 1.4328 0.02869 580 396 117 67
134 I'm not sure how he does it, but in about three weeks, we're expecting a loveseat." 1.4318 0.02679 572 372 153 47
135 It was easier than adoption. 1.4303 0.02612 567 363 164 40
136 You should see our Preparation H bill. 1.4298 0.02777 563 374 136 53
137 I’m not completely sold on the eggonomic chair. 1.4296 0.02655 561 362 157 42
138 It's not ours. He poached it. 1.4291 0.02821 557 373 129 55
139 We take turns. 1.4288 0.02687 555 360 152 43
140 I didn't think he had it in him. 1.4286 0.02718 553 361 147 45
141 This isn’t what I had in mind when I said we needed a larger nest egg. 1.4259 0.02699 540 350 150 40
142 He’s been brooding for weeks 1.4257 0.02794 538 356 135 47
143 Another of his big ideas that won't hatch. 1.4257 0.02769 538 354 139 45
144 I warned him what would happen if he kept swallowing bubblegum. 1.4251 0.02846 534 357 127 50
145 You're right, Mabel. If it were golden, we'd get a tax break on it. 1.4248 0.02739 532 347 144 41
146 So that’s the over-easy chair? 1.4244 0.03340 377 251 85 34
147 Just ignore him. 1.4231 0.02872 527 354 123 50
148 No Susan, it’s his God damn Pilates ball. 1.4223 0.02751 521 340 142 39
149 He can’t seem to crack this one. 1.4223 0.02778 521 342 138 41
150 We were hoping that the chicken would come first. 1.4223 0.02805 521 344 134 43
151 Morty, your hemorrhoid is blocking my view of the kitchen. 1.4223 0.02908 521 352 118 51
152 The egg came first. The horror-struck chicken fled. 1.4218 0.03043 524 366 95 63
153 I keep telling him to get it looked at. 1.4217 0.02833 517 343 130 44
154 I dont know what he's expecting, but he's expecting. 1.4207 0.02774 511 334 139 38
155 I haven't the heart to tell him it's not his. 1.4207 0.02746 511 332 143 36
156 So I take it brunch might be a while? 1.4192 0.03162 396 260 106 30
157 He says Gwyneth Paltrow swears by it. 1.4187 0.02950 504 342 113 49
158 It's an egg chair. Danish design. Very expensive. 1.4160 0.02876 488 324 125 39
159 The lease says no pets, but we think we’ve found a loophole. 1.4160 0.02832 488 321 131 36
160 Ed proved wrong everyone who thought he was such a tight ass. 1.4156 0.02957 486 328 114 44
161 And then I find out, that’s our nest egg for retirement. 1.4149 0.02915 482 322 120 40
162 It wouldn't be so bad if he weren't also crowing at 5 a.m. every morning. 1.4149 0.02915 482 322 120 40
163 I'm telling you, Cheryl, the things we have to do to get a grandchild these days. 1.4146 0.02848 480 316 129 35
164 I wanted to know the species right away, but Harold's old-fashioned so we've decided to let it be a surprise. 1.4144 0.02843 485 320 129 36
165 Harold, the trick is to pull the egg out of your EAR. 1.4139 0.03116 476 331 93 52
166 Cage-free? 1.4137 0.02889 481 320 123 38
167 I told him that if he's just going to sit around the house all day, he might as well make himself useful. 1.4126 0.02789 475 309 136 30
168 I don’t know what surprises me more: his maternal instinct or his core strength. 1.4126 0.02867 475 314 126 35
169 In 21 days, we'll have a futon. 1.4119 0.03021 471 321 106 44
170 He’s always hatching another big idea. 1.4100 0.02877 461 304 125 32
171 We met on Hatch.com. 1.4100 0.03036 461 314 105 42
172 I preferred the TV there. 1.4094 0.03044 381 246 114 21
173 I'm not entirely sure Bill is understanding the concept of a nest egg. 1.4092 0.02927 457 304 119 34
174 I’m telling you, it’s just a matter of days before he cracks.” 1.4092 0.02959 457 306 115 36
175 Trust us Ralph, you don’t know how it really feels. 1.4088 0.02935 455 303 118 34
176 He’s fully committed to the farm to table experience. 1.4084 0.03058 453 309 103 41
177 The chair? It's farm to table. 1.4071 0.03421 366 251 81 34
178 Our egg donor was overly enthusiastic. 1.4059 0.02997 441 296 111 34
179 Yes, ever since he watched that documentary on penguins. 1.4058 0.02991 446 300 111 35
180 Of course Horton over there just HAD to say yes. 1.4058 0.02974 446 299 113 34
181 Marry the paleontologist" she said, "He's the most normal one" she said! I tell you Janet, mothers are NOT always right 1.4058 0.02974 446 299 113 34
182 I got rid of his lazy boy. This is him making a statement. 1.4058 0.02853 446 294 124 28
183 The problem is going to be finding the right bacon. 1.4050 0.02981 437 292 113 32
184 As he has gotten older, this is the only way he can blow up a balloon. 1.4050 0.03267 437 309 79 49
185 She promised she'd be right back. 1.4050 0.03033 437 298 104 35
186 All I can do is hope that I'm out when it happens 1.4041 0.02922 438 290 119 29
187 He assures me it's mine. 1.4037 0.02985 436 292 112 32
188 That's not how a nest egg works. 1.4032 0.02940 434 288 117 29
189 Yes, it's benign, but Harry has decided to have it removed anyway. 1.4032 0.03116 434 298 97 39
190 Charles is pretty sure he came first. 1.4028 0.03194 432 298 88 42
191 It's one of his biggest this week. 1.4023 0.02940 430 285 117 28
192 Surrogate? 1.4023 0.02976 430 287 113 30
193 who do you think will crack first? 1.4023 0.02976 430 287 113 30
194 I didn't have the heart to tell him it's chocolate. 1.4014 0.03049 426 288 105 33
195 We've already started applying to preschools. 1.4009 0.03113 424 290 98 36
196 Dave, when exactly was your last prostate exam? 1.4005 0.03032 422 290 101 31
197 Why not just get a sitter? 1.4000 0.02947 420 278 116 26
198 Don’t mind him. He’s just brooding over our nest egg. 1.4000 0.03060 420 284 104 32
199 He says it builds core strength but I think he's hatching something. 1.3995 0.03032 418 281 107 30
200 Getting down isn't the problem. 1.3971 0.03002 408 272 110 26
201 Damn airline catalogue. 1.3970 0.03053 398 266 106 26
202 And worse yet, he thinks he's the father. 1.3966 0.03235 411 287 85 39
203 Don’t look at me. I wanted a dog. 1.3966 0.03092 406 275 101 30
204 The dermatologist said he shouldn’t squeeze it. 1.3960 0.03294 404 284 80 40
205 his posture has improved, but his cholesterol is sky-high! 1.3960 0.03082 404 273 102 29
206 He also ordered a giant chicken, but we all know the egg comes first 1.3960 0.03218 404 280 88 36
207 I doubt his butt is warm enough. 1.3955 0.03112 402 273 99 30
208 So, George,...anything new? 1.3951 0.03096 405 275 100 30
209 I suppose it’s my fault for saying he never sees anything through. 1.3950 0.03041 400 268 106 26
210 It's the only chair he doesn't fall asleep in. 1.3950 0.02999 400 266 110 24
211 We don’t care as long as it’s healthy. 1.3950 0.03041 400 268 106 26
212 That’s the most parenting he’s done in 50 years. 1.3940 0.03116 401 273 98 30
213 We talked about the elephant in the room--now we have this. 1.3935 0.03024 399 267 107 25
214 These gender-reveal parties are really getting out of control. 1.3934 0.03215 394 272 89 33
215 How are you and Horton getting along these days? 1.3929 0.03226 392 271 88 33
216 I am the egg man. 1.3929 0.03266 392 273 84 35
217 I am so tired of omelets. 1.3923 0.03048 390 261 105 24
218 Every day we call. Every day, Guinness says "not yet". 1.3918 0.03058 388 260 104 24
219 He refuses to get a colonoscopy. 1.3918 0.03329 388 273 78 37
220 The museum catalog calls it mid-Jurassic modern. 1.3918 0.03248 388 269 86 33
221 He was sitting around warming the sofa all day anyway so I thought, hey, why not make him useful? 1.3918 0.03037 388 259 106 23
222 So much for Preparation H. 1.3918 0.03228 388 268 88 32
223 Harold loves his job at the zoo, but today he is working from home. 1.3913 0.03127 391 266 97 28
224 The doctor said it would go down eventually, but he still needs to use the cream. 1.3912 0.03341 386 272 77 37
225 My husband is a little egg centric. 1.3912 0.03155 386 263 95 28
226 The doctor said it is very common for one of them to be larger. 1.3901 0.03366 382 270 75 37
227 He said he's just keeping it warm until the elephant returns 1.3895 0.03253 380 263 86 31
228 He’s sulking because Guinness World Records isn’t interested. 1.3883 0.03188 376 257 92 27
229 We’ll wait until Easter to have the gender reveal party. 1.3883 0.03188 376 257 92 27
230 His expectations have always been somewhat unreal. 1.3879 0.03081 379 255 101 23
231 You know what? I think I'm going to pass on the omelette tonight. 1.3877 0.03222 374 257 89 28
232 I never thought he had it in him. 1.3871 0.03278 372 258 84 30
233 I don't think this is what your financial adviser meant by 'sitting on your nest egg.' 1.3867 0.03147 375 258 91 26
234 I got it on layaway. 1.3865 0.03153 370 251 95 24
235 You should have seen the last scheme he hatched! 1.3865 0.03267 370 256 85 29
236 George has always been the patient one in the family. 1.3865 0.03176 370 252 93 25
237 I wonder who the mother is? 1.3865 0.03245 370 255 87 28
238 We're lucky his job allows him to work from home 1.3859 0.03093 368 247 100 21
239 The longer it's been since Henry's death, the happier I am with my decision to have him mounted instead of cremated. 1.3854 0.03326 371 260 79 32
240 At least one of us is still producing eggs. 1.3854 0.03052 371 248 103 20
241 This happens when he sneezes after swallowing his chewing gum. 1.3852 0.03358 366 257 77 32
242 He's been trying to hatch that plan for weeks now. 1.3846 0.03139 364 246 96 22
243 Seems like this balloon idea is really solving your husband's flatulence problem. 1.3846 0.03438 364 259 70 35
244 We bought that on lay-away. 1.3840 0.03406 362 256 73 33
245 My therapist said it would help with the empty nester syndrome. 1.3840 0.03198 362 247 91 24
246 This happens every time he swallows gum. 1.3833 0.03419 360 255 72 33
247 Should I call a psychologist, or a chef? 1.3833 0.03209 360 246 90 24
248 I think he is overcompensating for something. 1.3833 0.03257 360 248 86 26
249 I raised our four kids practically on my own and now his maternal instinct kicks in? 1.3827 0.03172 358 243 93 22
250 He takes mansplaining to a whole new level. 1.3827 0.03432 358 254 71 33
251 Well, there was this hypnotist show on the cruise, and Herb insisted on being a volunteer...." 1.3827 0.03316 358 249 81 28
252 Rupert prefers a more tightly packed bean bag chair. 1.3820 0.03281 356 246 84 26
253 The doctor said he’s having an eggsistentialist crisis. 1.3807 0.03449 352 249 70 32
254 This is nothing. You should have seen him lay it. 1.3800 0.03268 350 241 85 24
255 Ed’s idea... He bought a “from Scratch” Turkey for Thanksgiving this year. Step 1 is to get the darn thing to hatch!... 1.3796 0.03346 353 247 78 28
256 It is a conversation starter, but it's not doing anything for Harold's lumbar. 1.3796 0.03249 353 243 86 24
257 He says it's Danish Postmodern. 1.3793 0.03355 348 243 78 27
258 But of course all we really want is for it to be normal. 1.3793 0.03305 348 241 82 25
259 It looked like a chair on the website. 1.3793 0.03305 348 241 82 25
260 Worst case scenario, I'll alert all the king's men. 1.3782 0.03118 349 235 96 18
261 Harold doesn’t trust the stock market. 1.3779 0.03147 344 232 94 18
262 I think he misunderstood when our accountant said we needed to build our nest egg. 1.3779 0.03279 344 237 84 23
263 His maternity leave actually covers this. 1.3779 0.03279 344 237 84 23
264 He found a loophole for paternity leave. 1.3779 0.03253 344 236 86 22
265 He says it will save us money on a home security system if he can get it to hatch. 1.3775 0.03208 347 237 89 21
266 If you think this is awkward, you should have seen him and the mother hen! 1.3772 0.03265 342 235 85 22
267 One moment he's happy and the next he's brooding. 1.3772 0.03265 342 235 85 22
268 He still won't admit that he laid an egg. 1.3768 0.03220 345 236 88 21
269 That's why you don't self-diagnose. For months we thought he just needed to fart. 1.3761 0.03461 343 244 69 30
270 It won’t be his first big idea that fails to hatch. 1.3761 0.03361 343 240 77 26
271 It’s so nice that Harold’s job at the incubator allows work from home 1.3757 0.03181 338 229 91 18
272 Ralph’s 401k has done well this year. 1.3754 0.03270 341 235 84 22
273 How big was the chicken? 1.3754 0.03322 341 237 80 24
274 He sees the proctologist tomorrow. 1.3746 0.03228 339 232 87 20
275 That's our retirement. 1.3746 0.03201 339 231 89 19
276 So, what did you do for Easter? 1.3743 0.03369 334 233 77 24
277 He says he can feel it kicking. 1.3743 0.03176 334 228 88 18
278 I no longer recall which came first. 1.3734 0.03586 241 160 72 9
279 Yes, but will he get up at 4 am to feed it? 1.3731 0.03252 335 230 85 20
280 something seems different in here, did you change the rug? 1.3727 0.03228 330 230 81 19
281 On the bright side, I no longer need an alarm clock." 1.3720 0.03297 328 226 82 20
282 Therapy helped Bob get out of his shell. 1.3720 0.03212 328 223 88 17
283 He falls off now and then but it keeps him busy. 1.3720 0.03354 328 228 78 22
284 Someone called him hen pecked and the rest is history 1.3712 0.03164 326 220 91 15
285 He keeps telling me he’s onto something. 1.3704 0.03206 324 220 88 16
286 It does make him look taller 1.3704 0.03294 324 223 82 19
287 I don't know. I still prefer the Ottoman. 1.3704 0.03176 324 219 90 15
288 He'll crack soon enough 1.3704 0.03408 324 227 74 23
289 I don't know. Started out as a bump on his butt. 1.3700 0.03575 327 239 57 31
290 You talk about weird, you should have been here when he laid it. 1.3700 0.03302 327 226 81 20
291 So...you're expecting? 1.3700 0.03468 327 232 69 26
292 We wanted to adopt a puppy but the wait list for an ostrich was much shorter. 1.3696 0.03422 322 226 73 23
293 He’s free range – mostly.” 1.3692 0.03228 325 222 86 17
294 Don’t mind him, he’s brooding. 1.3692 0.03228 325 222 86 17
295 There goes my husband, hatching another idea out of his ass. 1.3692 0.03616 325 236 58 31
296 Flatulence can't be cured, but it can be contained. 1.3687 0.03575 320 230 62 28
297 Sure, he's sitting on it now, but who do you think laid it? 1.3687 0.03464 320 226 70 24
298 I think he's suffering from empty nest syndrome. 1.3687 0.03320 320 221 80 19
299 Unfortunately, our nest egg is only big enough to support one of us. 1.3687 0.03407 320 224 74 22
300 He's more useful when he brings home the bacon. 1.3684 0.03413 323 227 73 23
301 He's no golden goose, either. 1.3684 0.03240 323 221 85 17
302 I told him not to have a cow and then this happened 1.3679 0.03478 318 225 69 24
303 You must feel a lot better now. 1.3679 0.03392 318 222 75 21
304 John stays at home while I bring home the bacon. 1.3676 0.03398 321 225 74 22
305 So it hatches, then what? 1.3676 0.03130 321 221 85 15
306 Oh don’t egg him on, Mildred. He already thinks he rules the roost. 1.3676 0.03398 321 225 74 22
307 He's always been nurturing. 1.3676 0.03340 321 223 78 20
308 That’s where most of his thought balloons come from. 1.3676 0.03700 321 236 52 33
309 Does it recline? 1.3676 0.03427 321 226 72 23
310 Have you thought about daycare, yet? 1.3671 0.03493 316 224 68 24
311 Well George, that's what you get for marrying Big Bird. 1.3668 0.03441 319 225 71 23
312 Then he screamed, 'Don't ever tell me again that a man couldn't endure the pain of childbirth!' 1.3668 0.03172 319 216 89 14
313 I warned him he was overdoing the calcium supplements. 1.3659 0.03215 317 216 86 15
314 Over filled the bean bag I see. 1.3659 0.03455 317 224 70 23
315 So, who came first? 1.3659 0.03512 317 226 66 25
316 I think Ted will have a harder time when we’re empty nesters. 1.3659 0.03512 317 226 66 25
317 Wow. The musta hurt. 1.3659 0.03152 317 214 90 13
318 I told him to grow a pair. He's doing it one at a time 1.3659 0.03483 317 225 68 24
319 He just slides off. Getting up there is another thing entirely. 1.3651 0.03320 315 218 79 18
320 Ed believes the man should have a bigger role during the pregnancy. 1.3651 0.03289 315 217 81 17
321 He trusts neither the King’s horses or the King’s men. 1.3647 0.03494 255 172 73 10
322 He's hatching an exit strategy for Donald Trump. 1.3645 0.03416 310 217 73 20
323 It might be a little early, but I think we should adress the dinosaur in the room. 1.3645 0.03386 310 216 75 19
324 It looked a lot different in the catalog. 1.3645 0.03195 310 210 87 13
325 He gave up being a couch potato. 1.3636 0.03461 308 217 70 21
326 In some species, men wash the dishes, too. 1.3636 0.03522 308 222 63 23
327 Murray, before you get too comfortable, would you please pass Mildred a biscuit. 1.3636 0.03399 308 215 74 19
328 Sometimes a fart is not really a fart. 1.3636 0.03552 308 220 64 24
329 Yeah? Talk to me when you've pushed out twins. 1.3636 0.03552 308 220 64 24
330 And then he said: “well if I'm not getting laid, at least something should” 1.3633 0.03423 311 229 52 28
331 He says this is the only way he gets laid these days. 1.3627 0.03445 306 218 65 22
332 Your 3 minutes are up. 1.3627 0.03567 306 219 63 24
333 It started with him pecking at his food. 1.3627 0.03219 306 208 85 13
334 I don't have the heart to tell him it's petrified." 1.3627 0.03445 306 215 71 20
335 Plus, it's great for his core. 1.3621 0.03706 232 158 64 10
336 George is a chick magnet. 1.3618 0.03521 304 216 66 22
337 You know she's using you, right? 1.3609 0.03567 302 216 63 23
338 I told you that Horton was a bird-brain, but you married him anyway. 1.3609 0.03536 302 215 65 22
339 He does this when he's feeling henpecked. 1.3609 0.03473 302 213 69 20
340 How he does it fully clothed I’ll never know. 1.3603 0.03512 297 210 67 20
341 He's still hung up on the Hatch Act! 1.3603 0.03447 297 208 71 18
342 I put Humpty Dumpty together again 1.3603 0.03243 297 202 83 12
343 It started as gas pains. 1.3603 0.03118 297 211 70 15
344 With all the crazy ups and downs, we decided to sit on our assets.” 1.3603 0.03346 297 205 77 15
345 Empty nest syndrome. 1.3603 0.03243 297 202 83 12
346 The catalog called it "The Single Bean Bean-Bag Chair" 1.3603 0.03414 297 207 73 17
347 We bought it at the MOMA store. 1.3600 0.03324 300 207 78 15
348 Well, he had to give some reason for paternity leave. 1.3600 0.03358 300 208 76 16
349 The ostrich stepped out for a pack of cigarettes a week ago. I doubt it even smokes. 1.3600 0.03391 300 209 74 17
350 It’s his way of telling me he wants to get laid. 1.3600 0.03456 300 211 70 19
351 Stanley volunteers at the Audubon Society. 1.3600 0.03324 300 216 62 21
352 Herb should really have that polyp removed. 1.3600 0.03644 300 217 58 25
353 Myron just watched "March of the Penguins" again. 1.3593 0.03360 295 204 76 15
354 I thought by this time we'd be empty nesters. 1.3593 0.03220 295 200 84 11
355 See, Cheryl? I told you we had a sizable nest egg. 1.3593 0.03495 295 208 68 19
356 He came first, trust me. 1.3593 0.03495 295 208 68 19
357 Just because you can lay an egg doesn't mean you're invited to our hen party. 1.3591 0.03535 298 212 65 21
358 I said, ‘Show me you can be nurturing,’ and this is what I get. 1.3590 0.03611 273 192 64 17
359 When are you due? 1.3584 0.03339 293 202 77 14
360 Before Walter retired all he could talk about was the size of our next egg. 1.3584 0.03509 293 207 67 19
361 I thought you two were empty nesters. 1.3584 0.03304 293 201 79 13
362 ‘Tough guy over there began demanding the epidural at twelve weeks.’ 1.3584 0.03543 293 208 65 20
363 I can't remember which came first. Irving, or the egg? 1.3584 0.03509 293 207 67 19
364 He tells me he is just 'hatching a plan,' but I can't shake the feeling that he cheated on me. 1.3584 0.03543 293 208 65 20
365 He got a convertible and then a tattoo, so I worried 'new chick' meant something else. 1.3581 0.03614 296 213 60 23
366 I keep telling him 'It doesn't matter how big the egg is, people will still notice that you're bald'. You think he listens to me? 1.3581 0.03385 296 206 74 16
367 If I have to walk on 'em, he can sit on 'em. 1.3574 0.03624 291 209 60 22
368 We should NEVER have moved to the country 1.3574 0.03281 291 199 80 12
369 We take turns, but he has the warmer bottom. 1.3574 0.03352 291 203 73 15
370 Just lance it Murray 1.3574 0.03525 291 211 57 22
371 Did you get a haircut? 1.3574 0.03525 291 206 66 19
372 I would complain, but we need the eggs. 1.3574 0.03525 291 206 66 19
373 He’s always been a sucker for Danish design.” 1.3564 0.03436 289 202 71 16
374 Sure, but who do you think is going to end up feeding and walking it? 1.3559 0.03692 222 151 63 8
375 Clearly he's confused about this retirement nest egg thing 1.3544 0.03320 285 196 77 12
376 Yes, Mother. Horton and I are still trying. 1.3544 0.03501 285 201 67 17
377 Hey, I'm not the one who got that chick pregnant. He has to take responsibility. 1.3544 0.03466 285 200 69 16
378 Yesterday, he lactated-- now this. 1.3542 0.03545 288 205 64 19
379 You’re becoming a member of a co-op, not a coop! 1.3542 0.03545 288 205 64 19
380 It keeps him occupied, so I'm good with that. 1.3534 0.03480 283 199 68 16
381 You tell them to run to the store for large eggs and this happens. 1.3534 0.03724 283 206 54 23
382 Finding an end table has been a problem. 1.3531 0.03526 286 203 65 18
383 Our Australian vacation would have been perfect if he hadn’t gotten that thing through Customs. 1.3531 0.03491 286 202 67 17
384 Ignore him, he's always hatching something. 1.3531 0.03456 286 201 69 16
385 It's his retirement project. He liked the zoo so I said maybe they're looking for volunteers. 1.3531 0.03420 286 200 71 15
386 Hatch it? It was all he could do to lay it. 1.3531 0.03384 286 199 73 14
387 He thinks he's a real chick magnet. 1.3531 0.03420 286 200 71 15
388 He never listens. I told him cage free AND non-GMO. 1.3523 0.03567 281 200 63 18
389 Yes, Melvin, that egg does make your butt look small. 1.3523 0.03567 281 202 60 19
390 Our son is transiting into a bird, we're very supportive 1.3521 0.03541 284 202 64 18
391 You know, at my previous psychiatrist's office, each patient had a private waiting area. 1.3513 0.03793 279 205 50 24
392 It's my fault. I told him to go lay an egg. 1.3511 0.03485 282 199 67 16
393 He's hatching another cockamamie argument against the deep state. 1.3511 0.03696 282 205 55 22
394 I laid it. The least he can do is sit on it. 1.3511 0.03375 282 196 73 13
395 I don't have the heart to tell him I already hard-boiled it. 1.3511 0.03730 282 206 53 23
396 Of course he does what she says... have you SEEN the size of that chicken?! 1.3511 0.03627 282 203 59 20
397 I told you it was enlarged. 1.3511 0.03764 282 207 51 24
398 He's having trouble with the empty nest thing. 1.3511 0.03485 282 199 67 16
399 It’s ironic. Now that he’s come out of his shell, he just sits all day. 1.3511 0.03449 282 198 69 15
400 He says it was the worst colonoscopy he has ever eggsperienced. 1.3511 0.03662 282 204 57 21
401 Joe keeps a close eye on our nest egg 1.3511 0.03222 282 192 81 9
402 Of course, then there’s the cholesterol. 1.3510 0.04014 208 146 51 11
403 Harold's hatching his new retirement plan. 1.3502 0.03413 277 193 71 13
404 This must be the part of raising dragons that no one talks about. 1.3502 0.03563 277 197 63 17
405 So you found it on ‘goop’? 1.3500 0.03426 280 196 70 14
406 I like it. It's modern. 1.3500 0.03389 280 195 72 13
407 Ever since he retired, Jim is so protective of our nest egg. 1.3500 0.03643 280 202 58 20
408 Our original plan for a nest egg fell through. 1.3500 0.03500 280 198 66 16
409 Norton promised my sister Mayzie to watch it while she went to the store and we haven't seen her since. 1.3491 0.03349 275 190 74 11
410 These days it's not enough just to bring home the bacon. 1.3491 0.03578 275 196 62 17
411 We couldn’t trust a pension fund to look after our nest egg. 1.3491 0.03541 275 195 64 16
412 I'll bring his ladder back when he admits he was wrong. 1.3491 0.03578 275 199 58 18
413 When he falls asleep, let's poach it. 1.3491 0.03652 275 198 58 19
414 Let him take it easy now, the real work will start when it hatches. 1.3491 0.03541 275 195 64 16
415 I hate to say it but I think he's about to crack 1.3491 0.03578 275 196 62 17
416 He misunderstood and purchased it from a site called The Amazon. 1.3491 0.03688 275 199 56 20
417 One egg is an ouef 1.3481 0.03697 270 195 56 19
418 Host your own start-up incubator from home!" the infomercial said 1.3470 0.03677 268 193 57 18
419 Itch, Pain, Swelling, these words mean nothing to my Howard. 1.3470 0.03752 268 195 53 20
420 Actually, the egg came first. 1.3470 0.03677 268 193 57 18
421 That's why I'm a widow. When Harry's hatched, it ate him. 1.3470 0.03677 268 193 57 18
422 I've told Harold time and again, "Don't swallow your bubble gum before you eat beans." 1.3470 0.03789 268 196 51 21
423 For years I've told you eating bubble gum would catch up with you. 1.3470 0.03714 268 194 55 19
424 He’s impossible when he’s roosting. 1.3470 0.03359 268 185 73 10
425 March of the Penguins really changed Harry’s sense of self. 1.3470 0.03521 268 189 65 14
426 All men George's age have some minor prostate issues. 1.3470 0.03600 268 193 58 17
427 So Emily, which came first, the husband or the egg? 1.3470 0.03714 268 194 55 19
428 I get it Herb, no new furniture...no touching the nest egg; Don't be so dramatic. 1.3469 0.03534 271 194 61 16
429 He says Moroccan ostrich, I say Mid-Century modern. 1.3459 0.03694 266 192 56 18
430 Well, there goes my dream of being an empty nester. 1.3459 0.03655 266 191 58 17
431 Would it be insensitive to bring out the frittata now? 1.3459 0.03537 266 188 64 14
432 We warned you about swallowing your chewing gum! 1.3459 0.03694 266 192 56 18
433 He's determined for this one not to hate him. 1.3459 0.03577 266 189 62 15
434 George identifies as Avian now. 1.3459 0.03655 266 191 58 17
435 He's never been the same since he had bird flu. 1.3447 0.03471 264 185 67 12
436 We were going to go with brown, but it was more expensive 1.3435 0.03609 262 187 60 15
437 I suggested he find a hobby combining his habit of dwelling on the past with his love of sitting around all day. 1.3435 0.03650 262 188 58 16
438 I say we just turn up the heat and go to bed. 1.3426 0.03627 251 178 60 13
439 He’s been broody ever since Trump got elected. 1.3423 0.03667 260 187 57 16
440 No gender reveal yet. The candling is Tuesday at 11:00. 1.3423 0.03543 260 184 63 13
441 Whatever you do, don’t mention his inflamed testicle. 1.3423 0.03786 260 190 51 19
442 Oh that’s nothing. He’s started to practice regurgitating his food. 1.3423 0.03585 260 185 61 14
443 Your nest egg. Really? 1.3411 0.03601 258 184 60 14
444 At least we finally agree on the thermostat. 1.3411 0.03429 258 184 62 12
445 If you ask me, I think the people at Ikea have pushed the envelope a little too far." 1.3411 0.03516 258 182 64 12
446 I take it you're hatching something big. 1.3411 0.03516 258 182 64 12
447 Well atleast one of us is getting laid. 1.3411 0.03922 258 192 44 22
448 It's Swedish. 1.3411 0.03805 258 189 50 19
449 Stan’s therapist diagnosed it as Ovoidant Personality Disorder. 1.3411 0.03725 258 187 54 17
450 If it doesn't work out, will be having omelettes for the rest of the year. 1.3411 0.03516 258 182 64 12
451 It all started with a small anal itch. 1.3411 0.03725 258 187 54 17
452 He’s been on it a month already—and nothing! 1.3411 0.03407 258 184 62 12
453 Of course because HE is doing it, everyone is going to be impressed. 1.3411 0.03601 258 184 60 14
454 So the doctor says it benign? 1.3411 0.03765 258 188 52 18
455 And he calls ME the mother hen. 1.3411 0.03684 258 186 56 16
456 You’re lucky, my husband took up woodworking. 1.3410 0.03614 261 187 59 15
457 One small step for man, one big step for womankind 1.3410 0.03695 261 189 54 17
458 Surrogacy wasn't for us, in vitro didn't work, and we just sort of ended up here. 1.3410 0.03655 261 188 57 16
459 When you said ' your husband was on the ball', I had something entirely different in mind. 1.3398 0.03618 256 183 59 14
460 401K or IRA? 1.3398 0.03488 256 180 65 11
461 If it’s another one of him, I’m leaving. 1.3398 0.03823 256 188 49 19
462 'Our lives haven't been the same since 'March of the Penguins.'" 1.3398 0.03618 256 183 59 14
463 Stanley's publisher said his last novel laid an egg. Now he's trying to hatch a new plot. 1.3398 0.03532 256 181 63 12
464 Well, that's one way to blow up a balloon. 1.3398 0.04057 256 194 37 25
465 This is how he’s coping with empty nest syndrome. 1.3398 0.03743 256 186 53 17
466 I've told Harold that it's a hemorrhoid but he just pretends that it's not there. 1.3398 0.03823 256 188 49 19
467 Every time I ask him for a little help around the house, he says he's too busy. 1.3387 0.03558 248 175 62 11
468 What kills me is that I couldn’t even get him to change a diaper. 1.3386 0.03548 254 180 62 12
469 It's hard to explain Ethel, but it gives me great pleasure knowing there's just one other person in the whole world who can blow it out his ass like Willard. 1.3386 0.03843 254 187 48 19
470 Leonard thought birdwatching was too passive. 1.3373 0.03637 249 178 58 13
471 Malcolm has always been the quiet, brooding sort. 1.3373 0.03637 249 178 58 13
472 At least it's benign. 1.3373 0.03725 249 180 54 15
473 Looks like the Preparation H didn't work. 1.3373 0.03725 249 180 54 15
474 He always got Grade A in school too. 1.3373 0.03737 252 183 53 16
475 It's on loan from the MOMA 1.3373 0.03651 252 181 57 14
476 Yeah, we don't need that mansplained either. 1.3373 0.03862 252 186 47 19
477 He thought I said “rest egg.” 1.3373 0.03428 252 176 67 9
478 Harold's family has reproduced this way for generations. 1.3360 0.03830 247 181 49 17
479 Retirement has been fine... Phillip is very protective of our nest egg. 1.3360 0.03743 247 182 49 16
480 So how long are you getting for paternity leave? 1.3360 0.03743 247 181 50 16
481 He just lays there all day. 1.3360 0.03608 247 175 59 12
482 He's waiting for confirmation from 23andMe." 1.3360 0.03608 247 176 59 12
483 I have a referral for a great proctologist. 1.3360 0.03698 247 178 55 14
484 You're brooding again, Frank. 1.3360 0.03743 247 179 53 15
485 He has an appointment Tuesday to get it lanced. 1.3360 0.04039 247 186 39 22
486 Don't ask about his 401k. 1.3360 0.03698 247 178 55 14
487 How long did she say she'd be gone? 1.3360 0.03830 247 181 49 17
488 What egg? 1.3360 0.03562 247 175 61 11
489 the doctor called it 'empty nest syndrome' 1.3360 0.03608 247 176 59 12
490 Ever since the recession, Stanley has been very worried about losing his nest-egg. 1.3360 0.03743 247 179 53 15
491 Bill, I really don't think you can put off a prostate exam any longer. 1.3360 0.03698 247 178 55 14
492 I told him, if you're going to retire, you need a hobby. 1.3360 0.03373 247 171 69 7
493 Don't ask, please don't ask. 1.3360 0.03608 247 176 59 12
494 Once new Harold hatches, he kills and eats old Harold. Then he puts on old Harold's clothes, and then it's just Harold. Aside from that, he's pretty normal. 1.3360 0.03712 250 181 54 15
495 You think hatching it is hard.?.I had to lay the damn thing 1.3347 0.03996 236 175 43 18
496 Besides the obvious questions - how did you get up there? 1.3347 0.03811 236 171 51 14
497 You’ve always preferred the nurturing type. 1.3347 0.03579 245 174 60 11
498 Which comes first, the pterodactyl or the divorce. 1.3347 0.03805 245 179 50 16
499 That’s un oef, Bob! 1.3347 0.03625 245 175 58 12
500 You are in violation of the Hatch Act! 1.3347 0.03648 245 178 53 14
501 He wants to be an egghead but he's got it ass backwards. 1.3347 0.03849 245 180 48 17
502 Frank, this better not be another one of those crazy schemes you are hatching! 1.3347 0.03761 245 178 52 15
503 He's been trying to hatch an original idea. Nothing yet. 1.3347 0.03892 245 181 46 18
504 His chiropractor recommended it, though I'm not sure it's all it's cracked up to be. 1.3333 0.03734 243 176 53 14
505 George refuses to become an empty nester 1.3333 0.03779 243 177 51 15
506 You're no spring chicken, Harold. 1.3333 0.03499 243 171 63 9
507 I don't care where he got it...if it hatches, he's raising it 1.3333 0.03824 243 178 49 16
508 He's finally coming out of his shell. 1.3333 0.03824 243 178 49 16
509 Harold is inordinately proud of his nest egg. 1.3333 0.03595 243 173 59 11
510 Sure, he got fired from Jurassic Park, but he got a hell of a severance package. 1.3333 0.03688 243 175 55 13
511 I don’t mind the prospect of a new pet, I just can’t stand all this brooding. 1.3333 0.03688 243 175 55 13
512 I just hope it’s not twins. 1.3320 0.03676 244 176 55 13
513 George doesn't like to talk about his haemorrhoid 1.3320 0.03766 244 178 51 15
514 Would you believe we still had to assemble it? 1.3320 0.03811 244 179 49 16
515 We'll invite you to the genus reveal party. 1.3320 0.03721 244 177 53 14
516 For Pete's sake, just go ahead and count them. 1.3320 0.03721 244 177 53 14
517 All these years he talked about this "nest egg." I thought it would have led to more travel. 1.3320 0.03659 241 173 56 12
518 Really helps stabilize the core, 1.3320 0.03659 241 173 56 12
519 He won't say whether it's an empty nest-egg or an empty-nest egg. 1.3320 0.03798 241 176 50 15
520 Since he retired all he does is look after the nest egg 1.3320 0.03706 241 174 54 13
521 The way that ostrich looked at him I had to believe her. On the up side he hasn’t cheated since! 1.3320 0.03706 241 174 54 13
522 He was tired of losing the remote in the cushions. 1.3320 0.03843 241 177 48 16
523 He insisted on a fresh turkey this year. 1.3305 0.03724 239 178 47 14
524 Believe it or not, our oldest was born this way. 1.3305 0.03677 239 172 55 12
525 Ever since we went to Antarctica, he's been taking on more household responsibilities. 1.3305 0.03817 239 175 49 15
526 I can't put my finger on it, Barb, but I think there's something different about Tom." 1.3305 0.03817 239 175 49 15
527 Nurturing stray kittens wasn’t enough for him. 1.3305 0.03677 239 174 52 13
528 Herb, that's the worst case of hemorrhoids I've ever seen. 1.3291 0.03974 237 177 42 18
529 I wish he'd go back to brooding about Donald Trump. 1.3291 0.03596 237 169 58 10
530 He retired and took a lump sum distribution. 1.3291 0.03694 237 171 54 12
531 Wait 'til he finds out who the father is! 1.3291 0.03974 237 177 42 18
532 he really wants to mess with the landlord because of the no dog rule 1.3291 0.03596 237 169 58 10
533 Honestly, I can't remember which came first. 1.3291 0.03837 237 174 48 15
534 The list said "jumbo egg carton," not "jumbo egg cartoon." 1.3291 0.03883 237 175 46 16
535 Good grief, Ethel, what's he hatching up now? 1.3291 0.03645 237 170 56 11
536 He found it at Costco. 1.3291 0.03837 237 174 48 15
537 We always wanted grandkids. This is the best we could do 1.3291 0.03883 237 175 46 16
538 A mother's instinct says it's not fertilized. But will he listen? 1.3291 0.03645 237 170 56 11
539 My hemorrhoids were worse than that. 1.3291 0.03929 237 176 44 17
540 I can't understand how he can look so comfortable given the location of the neck of the lightbulb 1.3291 0.03790 237 173 50 14
541 As you might imagine, our cholesterol levels are at Defcon 1. 1.3291 0.03694 237 171 54 12
542 Fine, I'll stay for the intervention. But when you said he's 'on crack,' I had something totally different in mind. 1.3291 0.03523 234 165 61 8
543 Blowing it up's not that hard, it's tying the knot which takes years to master. 1.3277 0.03613 235 168 57 10
544 Why don't you just turn the heat up? 1.3277 0.03903 235 174 45 16
545 Darling, that's not a chair. That's art. 1.3277 0.03995 235 176 41 18
546 He takes his brooding seriously. 1.3276 0.03293 232 167 57 8
547 He's hoping to hatch a recliner with vibrating massage and dual cup holders. 1.3276 0.03890 232 171 46 15
548 Ok boomer. 1.3276 0.03793 232 169 50 13
549 Did you get that at MOMA? 1.3276 0.03842 232 170 48 14
550 We're having the species reveal party on Saturday. 1.3276 0.03642 232 166 56 10
551 Carl thinks it’s a recliner, but I’m hoping for a glider rocker. 1.3261 0.03862 230 169 47 14
552 He’s trying to get in touch with his feminine side. 1.3261 0.03501 230 162 61 7
553 Retirement could prove interesting after all. 1.3261 0.03660 230 165 55 10
554 Carl, when we suggested you go out and get yourself laid, we didn’t mean... This!? 1.3261 0.04100 230 174 37 19
555 I love that you still do things the old-fashioned way 1.3261 0.03554 230 163 59 8
556 You should have heard him scream when he laid it. 1.3261 0.03959 230 171 43 16
557 Trust me that's the only laying he's doing these days. 1.3261 0.03762 230 167 51 12
558 I told him a million times to stop swallowing his gum. 1.3261 0.04006 230 172 41 17
559 "'March of the Penguins' had a big effect on him." 1.3261 0.03762 230 167 51 12
560 He's grown our nestegg quite a bit. I don't ask questions. 1.3261 0.03762 230 167 51 12
561 It's what happens when you tell a Virgo he needs more balance in his life. 1.3261 0.03762 230 167 51 12
562 He believes he is onto something big. 1.3261 0.03959 230 171 43 16
563 I laid it. He can hatch it. 1.3261 0.03711 230 166 53 11
564 What scheme are you hatching now? 1.3261 0.03862 230 169 47 14
565 We just weren't comfortable with having a surrogate 1.3261 0.03862 230 169 47 14
566 He just couldn't handle being an empty-nester. 1.3261 0.03711 230 166 53 11
567 Well, I sat on the first two. 1.3247 0.03798 231 169 49 13
568 At least he's finally thinking about reproductive rights 1.3247 0.03847 231 170 47 14
569 You think this is odd? You shoulda seen where it came from. 1.3247 0.03896 231 171 45 15
570 Do you compost the shell? 1.3247 0.03992 231 173 41 17
571 At some point you have to just let the kid hatch and make his own decisions. 1.3247 0.03698 231 167 53 11
572 I’ve been calling him a dodo for so long, he finally believes it. 1.3247 0.03542 231 164 59 8
573 He was really struggling with empty nest syndrome 1.3246 0.03677 228 164 54 10
574 The kids thought he needed a pet... I think they’re trying to keep him off of Facebook. 1.3246 0.03781 228 166 50 12
575 Harold thinks this is the hard part. 1.3246 0.03882 228 168 46 14
576 He really is a dinosaur. 1.3246 0.03677 228 164 54 10
577 That's IKEA, right?" 1.3246 0.04076 228 172 38 18
578 It’s your classic, midlife, eggistential crisis. 1.3246 0.03781 228 166 50 12
579 He was very inspired by March of the Penguins. 1.3246 0.03729 228 165 52 11
580 if I've told him once I've told him a million times... you've got to take your hemorrhoidal cream. 1.3246 0.03980 228 170 42 16
581 Tell me again who said you couldn't put him back together! 1.3246 0.03980 228 170 42 16
582 If you must know, he came first. 1.3246 0.03931 228 169 44 15
583 Please don't egg him on, Frances. 1.3246 0.03832 228 167 48 13
584 Walter, I really think it's time to see a doctor. 1.3246 0.04216 228 175 32 21
585 I don't think this is a healthy solution to your empty nest syndrome. 1.3246 0.03571 228 162 58 8
586 You should have seen him lay the darn thing! 1.3246 0.04028 228 171 40 17
587 Last week's gender reveal party was a wreck. 1.3246 0.03677 228 164 54 10
588 He broods a lot. 1.3246 0.03516 228 163 57 8
589 Once you go free-range there's really no going back. 1.3230 0.03851 226 166 47 13
590 I still wish we'd gotten a higher table... 1.3230 0.03902 226 167 45 14
591 Something to do with a business incubation plan. 1.3230 0.03748 226 164 51 11
592 Arthur has become obsessive about fresh ingredients. 1.3230 0.04001 226 169 41 16
593 It's just a part-time job, but it pays a few bills. 1.3230 0.03800 226 165 49 12
594 He’s been that way since the chicken left. 1.3230 0.03902 226 167 45 14
595 You should see the sperm. 1.3230 0.03851 226 166 47 13
596 Oh, so size does matter! 1.3230 0.03695 226 163 53 10
597 You should see the hash browns. 1.3230 0.04099 226 171 37 18
598 He's been like this ever since he watched that documentary about penguins. 1.3230 0.03952 226 168 43 15
599 I always wanted a pterodactyl but God only sent us the boys. 1.3214 0.03713 224 162 52 10
600 Harold feels he should sit on our nest egg until retirement. 1.3214 0.03314 224 159 58 6
601 He's not exercising. He just can't get down. 1.3214 0.03923 224 166 44 14
602 This is who you get when you swipe diagonally. 1.3214 0.03973 224 167 42 15
603 Floyd, you need to stop swallowing your chewing gum. 1.3214 0.04218 224 172 32 20
604 So you’re just gonna lay there? 1.3214 0.03897 224 168 41 15
605 It'll most likely resemble the brontosaurus side of the family. 1.3214 0.03973 224 167 42 15
606 He is the eggman, coo coo ca choo. 1.3214 0.03973 224 167 42 15
607 But that's my Horton: he meant what he said, and he said what he meant. 1.3214 0.03973 224 167 42 15
608 Ed's trying to hatch a plot for his novel. 1.3214 0.03819 224 164 48 12
609 He said he'd go to the doctor if the swelling persists." 1.3214 0.04023 224 168 40 16
610 Herman, you're not supposed to overinflate the beanbag chair. 1.3214 0.04122 224 170 36 18
611 He's a good egg. 1.3198 0.03620 222 158 55 8
612 The vegan rocking chair would have been better for his climate change guilt, but the free-range,organic easy chair is better for his sciatica. 1.3198 0.03891 222 164 45 13
613 It allowed me to go back to work, and his core has never been stronger. 1.3198 0.03731 222 161 51 10
614 When I said it was time for him to settle down and start a family, this is not what I had in mind. 1.3198 0.03676 222 160 53 9
615 I agreed to one piece of modern decor, and that's what he chose. 1.3198 0.03891 222 164 45 13
616 He just can't get used to being an empty nester 1.3198 0.03731 222 161 51 10
617 He loved that chicken! 1.3198 0.03731 222 161 51 10
618 We are hoping for a triceratops, but we’ve told the doctor want it to be a surprise. 1.3198 0.03563 222 158 57 7
619 I did tell him to make a friend. 1.3198 0.03785 222 162 49 11
620 I told him to go to Pottery Barn, but he was only half listening. 1.3198 0.03839 222 163 47 12
621 You do know they deliver fully hatched armchairs straight to your door? 1.3198 0.03995 222 166 41 15
622 Didn't he just visit the proctoligist? 1.3198 0.04045 222 167 39 16
623 Yes, you could say that he is hen pecked. 1.3198 0.03676 222 160 53 9
624 I'm as surprised as anybody. He's usually molting by now. 1.3196 0.03980 219 162 42 14
625 Others are embarrassed when they lay an egg. With him, the bigger the prouder. 1.3196 0.03819 219 160 48 11
626 All I wanted was a man with a large nest egg. 1.3196 0.03708 219 158 52 9
627 I think it's okay if he puts all his egg in one basket! 1.3196 0.03819 219 160 48 11
628 He won't say, but I think he's hatching something big. 1.3196 0.03708 219 158 52 9
629 His sitting all day is tolerable but the cackling is starting to annoy me. 1.3196 0.03593 219 156 56 7
630 So, this dodo tells him she'll be back in five minutes. That was three days ago! 1.3196 0.03764 219 159 50 10
631 We had two theories about diversifying our portfolio 1.3196 0.03980 219 163 42 14
632 I don't have the heart to tell him it's a lawn decoration. 1.3196 0.03819 219 160 48 11
633 They have the same hairstyle 1.3196 0.03980 219 163 42 14
634 We can't commit to anything during nesting season. 1.3196 0.03873 219 161 46 12
635 Not what I had in mind for a nest egg. 1.3182 0.03749 220 160 50 10
636 Stop telling him he's not a chicken. We need the eggs. 1.3182 0.03912 220 163 44 13
637 It’s the only way to treat his flatulence. 1.3182 0.03965 220 164 42 14
638 So which came first, Leonard or the egg? 1.3182 0.04068 220 166 38 16
639 Horton's been at it since he read that Dr. Suess book. 1.3182 0.03804 220 161 48 11
640 I wish he was that dedicated to me getting laid." 1.3182 0.03858 220 162 46 12
641 Big deal. My first-born felt twice as big. 1.3182 0.03858 220 162 46 12
642 "He's been brooding ever since he retired." 1.3180 0.03726 217 157 51 9
643 Jim is trying to keep on top of his cholesterol. 1.3180 0.03609 217 155 55 7
644 No, I prefer to keep my 401k in the bank. 1.3180 0.03894 217 160 45 12
645 He still won’t admit that I said nest egg. 1.3180 0.03894 217 160 45 12
646 With what my hips have been through, let him incubate it. 1.3180 0.03948 217 167 35 15
647 I know men don't like to go to the doctor, but don't you think it's time that Fred sees a proctologist? 1.3180 0.04107 217 164 37 16
648 Edward's cholesterol is extremely high. 1.3180 0.04055 217 163 39 15
649 He doesn't believe in investing. 1.3180 0.03668 217 156 53 8
650 Bill has become really taken with the Farm to Table movement... 1.3180 0.03894 217 160 45 12
651 George had his DNA done. He’s 5% Penguin. 1.3180 0.03726 217 157 51 9
652 No one ever pays attention to the 800 pound egg in the room, but wait til the chicken shows up. 1.3180 0.03838 217 159 47 11
653 When you said your son never flew the coop, I didn’t know you were being literal. 1.3180 0.03838 217 159 47 11
654 You should see what he did with the bacon. 1.3165 0.03711 218 158 51 9
655 I wanted to adopt but Fred wouldn't hear of it. 1.3165 0.03824 218 160 47 11
656 I would tell him he’s nuts, but we need the eggs. 1.3163 0.03685 215 155 52 8
657 George, that's not what they mean by nest egg. 1.3163 0.03802 215 157 48 10
658 Got laid again,huh? 1.3163 0.04077 215 162 38 15
659 This is for my Oval Office 1.3163 0.03802 215 157 48 10
660 I know you’re busy, but would you fetch Mother some more tea? 1.3163 0.03969 215 160 42 13
661 Our daughter turned out fine. 1.3163 0.03802 215 157 48 10
662 Male menopause is tough, but you’ll both get through it. 1.3163 0.03969 215 160 42 13
663 He's very hands-on with our retirement plans. 1.3163 0.03858 215 158 46 11
664 9 months Herb! Not one day less. 1.3163 0.03858 215 158 46 11
665 If he hatches it I'm outta here! 1.3163 0.03969 215 160 42 13
666 Ralph, you're still not a feminist. 1.3163 0.04024 215 163 37 15
667 He says he's hatching a new idea. 1.3163 0.03914 215 158 44 12
668 Serves him right for not supporting women's reproductive rights. 1.3163 0.03969 215 160 42 13
669 Makes you wonder what came first, stupid or the egg. 1.3163 0.03858 215 158 46 11
670 Where does a man with 800lbs testicles sit? Anywhere he wants to. 1.3163 0.04183 215 164 34 17
671 So this is strengthening your core then? 1.3163 0.03685 215 155 52 8
672 He never understood the concept of a retirement nest egg. 1.3163 0.03744 215 155 50 9
673 Gwyneth Paltrow recommends it. Who am to argue! 1.3158 0.03626 209 149 54 6
674 You should have seen the hen. 1.3158 0.03751 209 151 50 8
675 He has such a big eggo. 1.3146 0.03821 213 156 47 10
676 I see the trip to Ikea went well. 1.3146 0.03878 213 157 45 11
677 I had no problem with Fred's work on de-extinction of dinosaurs until he started bringing his work home from the lab. 1.3146 0.03878 213 157 45 11
678 I don't think that's what they mean by having a nest egg. 1.3146 0.03582 213 152 55 6
679 They've gotten bigger since he started working at the nuclear plant. 1.3146 0.04100 213 161 37 15
680 He promised we would travel. Now he just sits on our nest egg 1.3146 0.03763 213 155 49 9
681 He's adding to his nest egg. 1.3146 0.03821 213 158 44 11
682 I'm just hoping it's not a dinosaur. 1.3146 0.03935 213 158 43 12
683 It targets his core. 1.3146 0.03935 213 158 43 12
684 And then the Dr said, just rub a little preparation H on it and call me in the morning. 1.3146 0.04046 213 160 39 14
685 I dare you to carry that attached to your belly for nine months. 1.3146 0.03821 213 156 47 10
686 Danish Modern is out. 1.3146 0.03821 213 156 47 10
687 I could give you a dozen reasons why Fred's therapist is a quack. 1.3146 0.03878 213 157 45 11
688 I thought I was marrying royalty! Turns out his dad was an Emperor Penguin. 1.3146 0.03991 213 159 41 13
689 I wouldn’t mind so much, but he insists I do the night shift 1.3146 0.03878 213 157 45 11
690 Your heart's in the right place but your ergonomics are way off. 1.3146 0.03821 213 158 44 11
691 What did the proctologist say? 1.3146 0.03935 213 158 43 12
692 More coffee Brenda? 1.3128 0.04499 179 136 30 13
693 Feel better now? 1.3128 0.03956 211 157 42 12
694 So, that's why you can't help with the dishes? 1.3128 0.03721 211 153 50 8
695 Try outs for March of The Penguins have begun. 1.3128 0.03841 211 155 46 10
696 I hope the swelling goes down soon. 1.3128 0.03841 211 155 46 10
697 He thinks Ray Eames got the chair all wrong. 1.3128 0.04232 211 162 32 17
698 Epidural, why? 1.3128 0.03899 211 156 44 11
699 At least he's done molting. 1.3128 0.03841 211 155 46 10
700 If you ask me, that bean bag chair has too many beans in it. 1.3128 0.03956 211 157 42 12
701 Yes, quite a surprise. We didn't even know he was pregnant. 1.3125 0.04052 208 156 39 13
702 Since retiring, he’s been trying to explore his nurturing side . 1.3125 0.03876 208 153 45 10
703 He’s hatching a plan. 1.3125 0.03816 208 152 47 9
704 Is that a Bauhaus chair? 1.3125 0.03876 208 153 45 10
705 Honestly Louise, I don't see why you feel sorry for him. He just has to sit on it. 1.3125 0.03754 208 151 49 8
706 Since Sam sold our stocks, he is very protective of our nest egg. 1.3125 0.03754 208 151 49 8
707 He's trying to hatch another one of his harebrained schemes. 1.3125 0.04052 208 156 39 13
708 It all started when I picked up a chick at a bar... 1.3125 0.03816 208 152 47 9
709 I like to stay on top of our nest egg. 1.3125 0.04109 208 157 37 14
710 He thinks he's hatching a big idea 1.3125 0.03816 208 152 45 9
711 Dont even ask about the bacon. 1.3125 0.03816 208 152 47 9
712 Don’t ask... 1.3125 0.04165 208 158 35 15
713 Leonard insists that he's onto something big. 1.3125 0.04165 208 158 35 15
714 Do you plan to eat your young? 1.3125 0.03876 208 153 45 10
715 Well, at least the beer belly is gone. 1.3125 0.03936 208 154 43 11
716 I stay and raise them while my wife brings home the bacon. 1.3125 0.04109 208 157 37 14
717 It's revealed a nurturing side of Marvin that I've never seen before. 1.3125 0.03596 208 150 49 7
718 The paleontology department said it couldn't be done, so here we are. 1.3125 0.03816 208 152 47 9
719 Just don't say you need a break! 1.3125 0.03994 208 155 41 12
720 So we’re all just going to ignore the egg in the room? 1.3125 0.03628 208 149 53 6
721 Charles is convinced that a baby ostrich will save our marriage. 1.3125 0.03936 208 154 43 11
722 Three weeks of this, and his abs look no different. 1.3113 0.03940 212 158 42 12
723 I say we fry 'em both. 1.3110 0.04035 209 157 39 13
724 He’s hoping it will be an electable just left-of-center democratic candidate. 1.3110 0.03920 209 155 43 11
725 I told him he couldn't spend the rest of his life as a couch potato. 1.3107 0.03835 206 151 46 9
726 He's hatching another one of his big ideas. 1.3107 0.03710 206 149 50 7
727 don't ask 'what's for breakfast' 1.3107 0.04016 206 154 40 12
728 Man! When he lays an egg he lays a big one. 1.3107 0.04016 206 154 40 12
729 How was I supposed to know 'egg chair' meant an actual fucking egg? 1.3107 0.04075 206 155 38 13
730 How'd you get up there? 1.3107 0.03896 206 152 44 10
731 I already told him: If it doesn't hatch within one week I will scramble it. 1.3107 0.03896 206 152 44 10
732 Horace fired our financial advisor and is looking after the nest egg himself these days. 1.3107 0.03645 206 148 52 6
733 Ever since he retired, Burt has been nesting. 1.3107 0.03957 206 153 42 11
734 Is he still refusing to see a Dr? 1.3107 0.03710 206 149 50 7
735 Madge, this is Jasper. He identifies as a pterodactyl. Don't ask me where he got the egg, I don't know and I don't want to. 1.3107 0.03645 206 148 52 6
736 I told him not to buy a knockoff Egg Chair. 1.3092 0.03881 207 153 44 10
737 If he fails, we're eating 67 omelettes. 1.3088 0.03917 204 151 43 10
738 Marvin seems to be brooding a lot more lately. 1.3088 0.03978 204 152 41 11
739 He claims it’s a vintage Eames 1.3088 0.03855 204 150 45 9
740 Yes, our retirement investments are in a shell corporation. 1.3088 0.03792 204 149 47 8
741 When Harold does hatch his big idea, my advice is to run 1.3088 0.03855 204 150 45 9
742 Wilbur was named 'Employee Of The Month' by the boss at his business incubator company. 1.3088 0.03978 204 152 41 11
743 If he had discovered this talent before he retired, we'd all be sitting pretty 1.3088 0.03792 204 149 47 8
744 I know which came first, the question is which leaves first? 1.3088 0.03792 204 149 47 8
745 So Dave, how’s the babysitting gig? 1.3088 0.03855 204 150 45 9
746 I guess one cannot really trust an egg donor found on Craigslist. 1.3088 0.03662 204 147 51 6
747 We're not sure what it is,but I told him he has to take care of it. 1.3088 0.03792 204 149 47 8
748 No, it’s his hemorrhoids acting up. 1.3088 0.03855 204 150 45 9
749 Ever since Madoff, Daryl won't let our nest egg out of his sight 1.3088 0.03855 204 150 45 9
750 We need to hatch a better plan! 1.3088 0.03855 204 150 45 9
751 So you laid an egg. Big deal. 1.3088 0.03917 204 151 43 10
752 I’m comfortable and Harry’s sitting on a substantial nest egg. 1.3088 0.03792 204 149 47 8
753 I'm tellin' ya, Joan, if it hatches we're gonna make millions. 1.3088 0.03855 204 150 45 9
754 And then the giant chicken said it had a favour to ask. 1.3088 0.04098 204 154 37 13
755 His paternal instinct is admirable - albeit misguided. 1.3088 0.03978 204 152 41 11
756 Fred identifies as avian. 1.3088 0.04039 204 153 39 12
757 He heard a who. 1.3088 0.03855 204 150 45 9
758 I don't care what it is, as long as it's healthy! 1.3081 0.03863 198 145 45 8
759 Don, for the last time, they’re extinct! 1.3081 0.03994 198 147 41 10
760 So, George, how do you like working from home? 1.3069 0.03875 202 149 44 9
761 I don’t care who came first. I just want Marty to leave. 1.3069 0.03938 202 150 42 10
762 He says he likes the view. 1.3069 0.03811 202 148 46 8
763 Gwyneth's website says it should clear his eczema right up. 1.3069 0.04061 202 152 38 12
764 I'm afraid he's going to be sorry when it hatches. 1.3069 0.03811 202 148 46 8
765 and here I thought we were finally empty nesters 1.3069 0.03875 202 149 44 9
766 No, we won't know the sex, nor the species, until it hatches. 1.3069 0.03811 202 148 46 8
767 I don't think George got it when I said he needed bigger balls. 1.3069 0.04061 202 152 38 12
768 We went with yellow for the nursery. 1.3069 0.04000 202 151 40 11
769 He's a little obsessed, but it keeps him out of trouble. 1.3069 0.03875 202 149 44 9
770 I told you not to swallow your bubble gum 1.3069 0.04181 202 154 34 14
771 He's hatching a new idea. 1.3069 0.03811 202 148 46 8
772 Mother warned me about marrying a bird brain. 1.3069 0.04122 202 153 36 13
773 Why yes, Edgar is an Ornithologist. How did you guess? 1.3069 0.03746 202 147 48 7
774 Gender change was not enough ! 1.3069 0.04181 202 154 34 14
775 Speaking from experience, I really don't envy the egg. 1.3069 0.03938 202 150 42 10
776 I can see why you didn’t take his last name, Doris. 1.3069 0.03875 202 149 44 9
777 What's the pronoun for this? 1.3069 0.03543 202 154 39 9
778 That's how you put the 'men' in menopause. 1.3069 0.04061 202 152 38 12
779 Is that Danish design? 1.3069 0.03938 202 150 42 10
780 His therapist hopes role playing will get him over his fear of chickens. 1.3069 0.03746 202 147 48 7
781 The King’s horses and men really came through this year. 1.3050 0.04084 200 151 37 12
782 He's very protective of his nest egg, especially during the holidays. 1.3050 0.03764 200 146 47 7
783 Bill's favorite movie is March of the Penguins. 1.3050 0.04323 200 155 29 16
784 It always happens during eggnog season 1.3050 0.03764 200 146 47 7
785 He's just so proud of putting him back together again. 1.3050 0.03895 200 148 43 9
786 Ever since he turned 65 he's been sitting on our nest egg. 1.3050 0.03697 200 145 49 6
787 The gestation period is thirty years. 1.3050 0.03895 200 148 43 9
788 He has been swallowing his Bubble Gum all of his life, and this morning he had his first Breakfast Burrito. 1.3050 0.04145 200 152 35 13
789 This is his brain on drugs. 1.3050 0.04084 200 151 37 12
790 He’s hatching another great idea. 1.3050 0.04206 200 153 33 14
791 And what happened to its mother again? 1.3050 0.03830 200 147 45 8
792 He got it used from Gwyneth Paltrow. 1.3050 0.03959 200 149 41 10
793 Any day now. 1.3050 0.03959 200 149 41 10
794 Even a paleontologist should know you can’t count your dinosaurs before they hatch. 1.3050 0.04084 200 151 37 12
795 John insists on managing our nest egg himself. 1.3050 0.03895 200 148 43 9
796 I regret going to the fertility clinic 1.3050 0.03697 200 145 49 6
797 That's my Harold. Always working on his core. 1.3050 0.04206 200 153 33 14
798 Personally, I'd hate being cooped up in the house all day, but not Charlie . 1.3050 0.04206 200 153 33 14
799 On the bright side, the doctor says his cholesterol is down by 800 points. 1.3050 0.04206 200 153 33 14
800 You can't just sit on top of our nest egg, doing nothing, and expect it to grow, Harold. 1.3050 0.03895 200 148 43 9
801 Henry finds a certain comfort in protecting our nest egg. 1.3050 0.03830 200 147 45 8
802 I told him to ask for modern chic, not chick. 1.3050 0.03959 200 149 41 10
803 Which came first, Morris or the egg? 1.3050 0.03764 200 146 47 7
804 it helps him with his low self-esteem. 1.3050 0.03895 200 148 43 9
805 Listen, Harris - just because it's going to breathe fire doesn't mean it will spark joy. 1.3046 0.03625 197 144 47 6
806 He lays one everywhere he goes. 1.3046 0.03867 197 145 44 8
807 On the upside, laying eggs seems to have resolved his flatulence issues. 1.3046 0.03867 197 145 44 8
808 I've never understood IKEA. 1.3046 0.04063 197 148 38 11
809 He says I egged him on. 1.3046 0.04063 197 148 38 11
810 Is there no limit to your Amazon Prime addiction? 1.3046 0.04126 197 149 36 12
811 Theresa, our pterodactyl, has a talon-sharpening appointment. So Henry is covering for her 1.3046 0.03933 197 146 42 9
812 I didn't even know he was pregnant 1.3046 0.03998 197 147 40 10
813 It's a bit of an issue on the subway." 1.3046 0.03799 197 144 46 7
814 What came first...Harold or the egg? 1.3046 0.03867 197 145 44 8
815 He looks idiotic but it strengthens his core. 1.3046 0.03933 197 146 42 9
816 The photo online made it look smaller. 1.3046 0.03933 197 146 42 9
817 I told him, it’s me or that chick. 1.3046 0.04188 197 150 34 13
818 If it's twins I'm kickin the three of em out. 1.3046 0.04188 197 150 34 13
819 Ever since we retired, that dumb nest egg is all he talks about. 1.3046 0.03998 197 147 40 10
820 He's the only paleontologist who works from home. 1.3046 0.03799 197 144 46 7
821 It's nothing now, but when he was laying it--you never heard such noise! 1.3046 0.03867 197 145 44 8
822 How the f*** did he get up there? 1.3046 0.03933 197 146 42 9
823 Excuse me, ladies... my eyes are up here. 1.3046 0.04126 197 149 36 12
824 We'll be eating chicken until Hell freezes 1.3046 0.04188 197 150 34 13
825 long story! 1.3046 0.03867 197 145 44 8
826 I think we should discuss the elephant in the room. 1.3046 0.03933 197 146 42 9
827 There has to be a better way to break into ostrich farming. 1.3046 0.03933 197 146 42 9
828 That's Jim showing off his feminine side. 1.3046 0.04063 197 148 38 11
829 George was put in charge of the corporate nest egg 1.3046 0.03998 197 147 40 9
830 I'll concede: we've made a questionable retirement investment mistake. 1.3046 0.03998 197 147 40 10
831 Howie is trying to grow our nest egg. 1.3046 0.03730 197 143 48 6
832 Yes! That's exactly how childbirth feels. 1.3046 0.04063 197 148 38 11
833 Actually I was looking forward to being an empty-nester. 1.3046 0.03900 197 148 39 10
834 ‘It’s what happens when you let a beanbag chair soak overnight.” 1.3038 0.04279 158 116 36 6
835 It's not you. Harold gets protective of his egg whoever visits. 1.3030 0.03850 198 145 44 8
836 He’s desperate for a chick. 1.3030 0.03981 198 148 40 10
837 He's mad because he hasn't gotten laid in a while. 1.3030 0.04231 198 152 32 14
838 You're lucky, Bud wouldn't even go to Lamaze with me. 1.3030 0.03916 198 147 42 9
839 At least he stopped clucking. 1.3026 0.03677 195 141 49 5
840 He's hatching a new conspiracy theory. 1.3026 0.04020 195 146 39 10
841 He always wanted a vintage Egg Chair, but this was much cheaper. 1.3026 0.03954 195 145 41 9
842 His screaming was unbearable. 1.3026 0.04150 195 148 35 12
843 He’s hoping for a pterodactyl. I’m hoping for a giant bunny. 1.3026 0.03887 195 144 43 8
844 He always sits there when he’s brooding. 1.3026 0.04275 195 150 31 14
845 What was it that attracted you to him in the first place? 1.3026 0.03818 195 143 45 7
846 It started as just an anal polyp." 1.3026 0.04213 195 149 33 13
847 I begged him not to retire 1.3026 0.03818 195 143 45 7
848 Okay, so, he put Humpty Dumpty back together again. Big whup. Suddenly he's bigger than all the king's horses and all the king's men; just don't ask him to pick up his undies." 1.3026 0.03677 195 141 49 5
849 Don't tell us how much it hurt. 1.3026 0.03887 195 144 43 8
850 Eventually he'll slide off and go looking for a worm. 1.3026 0.03887 195 146 40 9
851 God forbid, it should look like him. 1.3026 0.03954 195 145 41 9
852 It's called manopause 1.3026 0.03954 195 145 41 9
853 Jeez, Frank you know I've told you to do that outside when we have guests. 1.3026 0.03954 195 145 41 9
854 Mama told me not to marry an Avian Paleontologist... 1.3026 0.03887 195 144 43 8
855 Well if we're ever going to start a family we need to get cracking. 1.3026 0.04213 195 149 33 13
856 The husband came first I believe 1.3026 0.03887 195 144 43 8
857 Angela thinks you should get your prostate checked, Dennis " 1.3026 0.04086 195 147 37 11
858 Oh Phil, you're just a big chicken. 1.3026 0.03954 195 145 41 9
859 That's what he gets for fooling around with those emu girls. 1.3026 0.03887 195 144 43 8
860 Herb has a really good sense of balance for people our age, Alice. But, he is kind of a show-off. 1.3026 0.03677 195 141 49 5
861 Dad, it's just a semester abroad. No need to get into full-flung empty nester syndrome. 1.3026 0.03677 195 146 41 8
862 You were right Ma. He is s a dumb cluck. 1.3026 0.03887 195 144 43 8
863 Ergonomics not eggonomics! 1.3026 0.03818 195 143 45 7
864 So Larry still thinks it's his? 1.3026 0.04020 195 146 39 10
865 Arnold’s hemorrhoid is becoming a real problem. 1.3026 0.04213 195 149 33 13
866 The adoption agency didn't have a lot to choose from. 1.3026 0.03887 195 144 43 8
867 It's my fault, I egged him on. 1.3026 0.04150 195 148 35 12
868 I just wish he had been as nurturing with the kids. 1.3026 0.03748 195 142 47 6
869 Sure, he's brooding now, but it won't last. 1.3026 0.03887 195 144 43 8
870 You really should get a second opinion, no matter what that quack said. 1.3026 0.03887 195 144 43 8
871 This isn't how great ideas are hatched, Ted. 1.3026 0.04020 195 146 39 10
872 He swallows his chewing gum. 1.3026 0.04150 195 148 35 11
873 He's trying to apologize for his years of toxic masculinity. 1.3010 0.04003 196 147 39 10
874 Big Bird said she would be right back 1.3010 0.03732 196 143 47 6
875 He laid that one when he tried to market a Trump-branded factbook. 1.3005 0.04174 193 149 31 13
876 I told Herb, when you retire you need a hobby. 1.3005 0.03837 193 142 44 7
877 His health insurance doesn't cover pre-existing conditions. 1.3005 0.03976 193 144 40 9
878 You know how stubborn he is. Says he's getting 6% growth right here, and darned if he'll let the banks have it. 1.3005 0.04109 193 146 36 11
879 I'd tell him, but we need the eggs. 1.3005 0.03976 193 144 40 9
880 Yes, but at least it cured his chronic flatulence. 1.3005 0.03976 193 144 40 9
881 It may be good for your core, but it’s terrible for your cholesterol. 1.3005 0.03907 193 143 42 8
882 Ever since he's retired, he spends all his time protecting our nest egg. 1.3005 0.03837 193 142 44 7
883 Before you hatch that thing, you might want to consider a cage. 1.3005 0.03767 193 141 46 6
884 With retirement, he became very focused on the nest egg. 1.3005 0.03907 193 143 42 8
885 He’s having a hard time since our youngest moved out. 1.3005 0.03907 193 143 42 8
886 I told him not to sit on his nest egg, but no 1.3005 0.03976 193 144 40 9
887 It’s not even Christmas and we have Easter decorations out? 1.3005 0.03976 193 144 40 9
888 If it hatches, I'm moving out. 1.3005 0.03907 193 143 42 8
889 I warned him to stop swallowing his bubble gum. 1.3005 0.04109 193 146 36 11
890 Carl, it was fun in the bedroom but this is inappropriate. 1.3005 0.04043 193 145 38 10
891 I told him we were having a hen night. 1.3005 0.04043 193 145 38 10
892 So, there weren't more chairs in IKEA?" 1.3005 0.04043 193 145 38 10
893 It ain't golden. Try again. 1.3005 0.04109 193 146 36 11
894 I'll just assume this has a backstory, for the sake of the afternoon tea. 1.3005 0.03837 193 142 44 7
895 Irv went to something called a 'business incubator.' 1.2984 0.04066 191 143 37 10
896 Gwyneth recommends it. Who am I to argue? 1.2984 0.04264 191 147 31 13
897 He’s taken his birding hobby a little too far, if you ask me. 1.2984 0.04066 191 144 37 10
898 Well, Leo saved for our retirement when interest rates were high. 1.2984 0.03857 191 141 43 7
899 With any luck, he'll hatch me a new husband. 1.2984 0.04133 191 145 35 11
900 He didn't like being an empty nester. 1.2984 0.03785 191 140 45 6
901 He's trying to hatch a plan to get rid of Trump. 1.2984 0.04133 191 145 35 11
902 It's gotten too big to keep under the mattress. 1.2984 0.04133 191 145 35 11
903 He's too cheap to buy an incubator until it hatches. 1.2984 0.03997 191 143 39 9
904 ...Janet, it's not polite to ask someone that. 1.2984 0.04264 191 147 31 13
905 Being Foster Parents has its challenges 1.2984 0.03928 191 142 41 8
906 Maybe try a beanbag chair instead? 1.2984 0.03857 191 141 43 7
907 You really should have your prostate checked. 1.2984 0.04199 191 146 33 12
908 We're on a pension, so I hope it eats like a bird. 1.2984 0.03857 191 141 43 7
909 I know who came first. 1.2969 0.04048 192 145 37 10
910 What do you think? Too modern or too prehistoric? 1.2967 0.04048 182 136 38 8
911 That's Harold's new eggonomic chair. 1.2963 0.04089 189 143 36 10
912 He's got my vote for Stepfather of the Year. 1.2963 0.04020 189 142 38 9
913 Don’t think this is what the financial planner meant when he advised us to protect our nest egg. 1.2963 0.03372 189 141 43 5
914 I thought you said you were empty nesters. 1.2963 0.04089 189 143 36 10
915 Well, I'm glad he's staying on top of his cholesterol. 1.2963 0.04157 189 144 34 11
916 You would not believe the amount of cackling that went on! 1.2963 0.04089 189 143 36 10
917 Boy is he going to have egg on his face when tries to get off of that. 1.2963 0.04089 189 143 36 10
918 It's unlikely, but if it starts to hatch, run like hell! 1.2963 0.03729 189 138 46 5
919 It only hurt for a moment. 1.2963 0.03877 189 142 39 8
920 It was a large bird. 1.2963 0.04020 189 142 38 9
921 I just don't want to be around when it hatches. 1.2963 0.03495 189 137 49 3
922 It’s a metaphore. 1.2963 0.03877 189 140 42 7
923 What do you think he's compensating for? 1.2963 0.03877 189 140 42 7
924 This isn’t so bad. The trouble starts when he thinks he's a rooster. 1.2963 0.03877 189 140 42 7
925 He's cheating on you. 1.2963 0.03804 189 139 44 6
926 He just watched Jurassic Park again 1.2963 0.04089 189 143 36 10
927 It looks just like you Phil. 1.2963 0.03949 189 141 40 8
928 My eyes are up here Carol 1.2963 0.04157 189 144 34 11
929 If it starts to crack, run like hell. 1.2963 0.03804 189 139 44 6
930 My job is to just feed him. 1.2963 0.03877 189 142 39 8
931 The anticipation is killing me 1.2963 0.04157 189 144 34 11
932 Norman, did you hear a who? 1.2963 0.04157 189 144 34 11
933 Trojan horse? No, what's that? 1.2963 0.04224 189 145 32 12
934 I still want to see the shop that sold it to him. 1.2963 0.03949 189 143 37 9
935 His mother warned him not to swallow bubble gum. 1.2963 0.04020 189 142 38 9
936 Mostly it consists of money market accounts, fixed annuities and timeshare in Boca. 1.2957 0.04132 186 141 35 10
937 When you said you were growing your nest egg, we thought you meant retirement. 1.2957 0.03524 186 133 51 2
938 His yolks are getting old 1.2957 0.03840 186 137 43 6
939 The English professor is making a point. I told him he “laid” around the house too much. 1.2957 0.03915 186 138 41 7
940 Don’t say anything...you’ll only egg him on. 1.2957 0.04201 186 142 33 11
941 He’s practicing Yoka. 1.2957 0.04061 186 140 37 9
942 This is how you hatch your ideas? 1.2957 0.03763 186 136 45 5
943 At work they call him “The Hatch It Man” 1.2941 0.03897 187 139 41 7
944 I bet it it’s a double yolk 1.2941 0.04112 187 142 35 10
945 He’s hatching our nest egg. 1.2941 0.03970 187 140 39 8
946 If it hatches,run quickly! 1.2941 0.04042 187 141 37 9
947 We're still trying to have a baby, but the process eludes him. 1.2941 0.04042 187 141 37 9
948 He is always hatching something. Nothing good ever comes out of it. 1.2941 0.04112 187 142 35 10
949 Yes, your scrotum looks swollen! What do you want me to do about it? 1.2941 0.04250 187 144 31 12
950 IKEA 1.2941 0.03897 187 139 41 7
951 If it hatches, it will probably eat you... 1.2941 0.04182 187 143 33 11
952 I'm not cruel, HE didn't have to lay it! 1.2941 0.04042 187 141 37 9
953 He's taking Paleo seriously. 1.2941 0.03897 187 139 41 7
954 Is this what he thinks being a feminist entails? 1.2941 0.04112 187 142 35 10
955 I'm afraid we'll be walking on eggshells soon. 1.2941 0.03897 187 139 41 7
956 George was tired of being referred to as an egg head. 1.2941 0.03669 187 136 47 4
957 Buying him that egg was one of my better ideas. 1.2941 0.04042 187 141 37 9
958 Unfortunately Tom hasn’t been the same since he watched March of the Penguins. 1.2941 0.03823 187 138 43 6
959 And the chicken was $1.99. Can you believe that? 1.2941 0.03970 187 140 39 8
960 Frank read about it on Goop. 1.2938 0.04267 177 135 32 10
961 It promotes core strength, and also has the benefit of being high in protein 1.2938 0.03873 177 130 42 5
962 Careful. If its not hard boiled, it's going to be over easy. 1.2935 0.04084 184 139 36 9
963 I see you’ve been searching for hot chicks online again 1.2935 0.03936 184 137 40 7
964 No, he adopted it. 1.2935 0.04010 184 138 38 8
965 He got tired of being called a couch potato... 1.2935 0.03936 184 137 40 7
966 I guess we boomers just don't get this new free-range parenting style. 1.2935 0.03859 184 136 42 6
967 Hatch it? How did he lay it? 1.2935 0.03782 184 135 44 5
968 It soothes him when he's brooding. 1.2935 0.03782 184 135 44 5
969 Girls' night off! 1.2935 0.03936 184 137 40 7
970 Back from open mic night? 1.2935 0.04010 184 138 38 8
971 I can't get him to stop brooding... 1.2935 0.03936 184 137 40 7
972 You see, Linda, George took a DNA test and found out he is 38% Ostrich. 1.2935 0.04010 184 138 38 8
973 This new time-out chair is doing wonders for our marriage. 1.2935 0.04156 184 140 34 10
974 Yes, we're expecting. 1.2935 0.04227 184 141 32 11
975 His mantra is, 'An elephant's faithful, one-hundred percent.' 1.2935 0.04156 184 140 34 10
976 I see Bob's still volunteering for the Pterodactyl Preservation Society. 1.2935 0.03702 184 134 46 4
977 That’s one hell of a hemorrhoid, Larry! 1.2935 0.04010 184 138 38 8
978 Harold will usually brood for days over nothing. 1.2935 0.04156 184 140 34 10
979 Having watched Game of Thrones, he is obsessed with the idea of hatching a dragon 1.2935 0.04084 184 139 36 9
980 It's the latest "jätteägg" from IKEA... 1.2935 0.04010 184 138 38 8
981 Oh Ed I just love your new eggronomic chair. 1.2935 0.04227 184 141 32 11
982 His balance has always been excellent 1.2935 0.03936 184 137 40 7
983 He's hoping for a recliner. 1.2935 0.03859 184 136 42 6
984 Only three weeks left until it becomes a rocking chair. 1.2935 0.03782 184 135 44 5
985 Please excuse my husband, he’s a compulsive incubator. 1.2935 0.04084 184 139 36 9
986 Imagine my surprise, I didn't even know he was ovulating! 1.2935 0.03936 184 137 40 7
987 I’ll have you know, Marge, this takes incredible core strength.” 1.2935 0.03782 184 135 44 5
988 Fred and his nest egg are seldom apart. 1.2935 0.03782 184 135 44 5
989 You proved your point Arnold. You CAN balance an egg on the Spring Equinox. Now get off and make us an omelette. 1.2935 0.04365 184 143 28 13
990 I didn't think you were being literal when you said you were feathering your nest... 1.2935 0.03782 184 135 44 5
991 I'd see Dr. Lance Boyle, if I were you. 1.2935 0.04156 184 140 34 10
992 Bean Bag, Lou! BEAN BAG! You can’t just use ANY food item... 1.2935 0.04227 184 143 29 12
993 It's like a yoga ball, only keto. 1.2935 0.04010 184 138 38 8
994 I’ve always said he’s an odd bird. 1.2935 0.04010 184 138 38 8
995 So, when's the gender reveal party? 1.2935 0.03782 184 135 44 5
996 I wanted satin. Wilbur said eggshell would work well. 1.2935 0.04084 184 139 36 9
997 So, your company's lay-off ... is a contest? 1.2935 0.04010 184 138 38 8
998 Marty's finally going public about his hemorrhoid. 1.2935 0.04156 184 140 34 10
999 His 401-egg 1.2912 0.04032 182 137 37 8
1000 I told him not to fuck that brontosaur. 1.2912 0.04461 182 143 25 14
1001 Which came first? 1.2912 0.03956 182 136 39 7
1002 You think that’s hard? Let me tell you about laying it. 1.2912 0.03879 182 135 41 6
1003 Can you take a turn, I have to go to the bathroom. 1.2912 0.04107 182 138 35 9
1004 I told him to get off his high horse and he came back with this. 1.2912 0.04032 182 137 37 8
1005 At least the egg got laid. 1.2912 0.04107 182 138 35 9
1006 He's always hatching bird-brained ideas. 1.2912 0.03956 182 136 39 7
1007 Ted hasn't adjusted well to empty nest syndrome. 1.2912 0.03956 182 136 39 7
1008 You did tell him to find an egg donor... 1.2912 0.03956 182 136 39 7
1009 Les refuses to let our nest egg out of his sight. 1.2912 0.03879 182 135 41 6
1010 It's really great for his health- he can't reach the snacks. 1.2912 0.04032 182 137 37 8
1011 Oooh, that's a relief. 1.2912 0.03800 182 134 43 5
1012 Fred is making the turkey this year 1.2912 0.04032 182 137 37 8
1013 Humpty Dumpty was a freak accident, I'll be fine. 1.2912 0.03879 182 135 41 6
1014 This chair is called nesting 1.2912 0.03879 182 135 41 6
1015 I told him to chew gum when he's gassy. 1.2912 0.04107 182 138 35 9
1016 the brooding behaviour comes with the midlife crisis 1.2912 0.03956 182 136 39 7
1017 Stand back, Murray’s about to hatch another one his big ideas. 1.2912 0.03879 182 135 41 6
1018 Picking out furniture was much simpler before HGTV. 1.2912 0.04032 182 137 37 8
1019 When I told Dan we needed a nest egg, he took it rather literally. 1.2912 0.04032 182 137 37 8
1020 A goldfish would have been nice. 1.2912 0.04180 182 139 33 10
1021 He’s determined to meet new chicks. 1.2889 0.03818 180 133 42 5
1022 No wonder he has hemorrhoids. 1.2889 0.04205 180 142 26 12
1023 He thinks He’s Humpty Dumpty 1.2889 0.04131 180 137 34 9
1024 Honey, call the doctor. It’s been like this for more than four hours. 1.2889 0.03899 180 134 40 6
1025 We both agree: It's time for the hemorrhoid surgery, dear. 1.2889 0.04205 180 138 32 10
1026 Was it painful? 1.2889 0.04350 180 140 28 12
1027 Go on, bounce some ideas off us. 1.2889 0.03899 180 134 40 6
1028 I told him. Big Bird isn't coming back. 1.2889 0.03978 180 135 38 7
1029 It's a temporary position. 1.2889 0.03978 180 135 38 7
1030 I insisted he find something to do in retirement. 1.2889 0.03978 180 135 38 7
1031 It's almost like the new sculpture is his baby. 1.2889 0.03899 180 134 40 6
1032 It beats walking on eggshells around him. 1.2889 0.03978 180 135 38 7
1033 Harry stuffed the bean bag chair a little too full. 1.2889 0.03818 180 133 42 5
1034 He’s hoping to get paternity leave. 1.2889 0.04131 180 137 34 9
1035 I told him not to hang out with that chick! 1.2889 0.04350 180 140 28 12
1036 We had a rough night. 1.2889 0.04131 180 137 34 9
1037 I see those laxatives finally kicked in. 1.2889 0.04278 180 139 30 11
1038 I had a great summer, I hope he has a great fall. 1.2889 0.04278 180 139 30 11
1039 Laying it was the hard part for him. Now we just wait. 1.2889 0.03899 180 136 37 7
1040 I don't know how he does it, but his omelettes are to die for. 1.2889 0.04055 180 136 36 8
1041 “I see dad likes his new elliptical.” 1.2889 0.04131 180 137 34 9
1042 You better be cleaning that mess up after it hatches. 1.2889 0.04205 180 138 32 10
1043 I get to name it. 1.2889 0.03978 180 135 38 7
1044 ...but we have to buy the bacon. 1.2889 0.03899 180 134 40 6
1045 He refuses to get down until I say the Hatch Act is an amusing visual pun. 1.2889 0.03978 180 135 38 7
1046 Fritz finally found an outlet for all that hot air. 1.2889 0.03978 180 135 38 7
1047 I tried talking to him but it just ruffled his feathers. 1.2881 0.03938 177 132 39 6
1048 He's convinced it's a recession-proof nest egg. 1.2881 0.03685 177 129 45 3
1049 Do you think it might be time for "the talk" ? 1.2881 0.03938 177 132 39 6
1050 Sitting on a comfortable nest egg doesn't actually look comfortable. 1.2881 0.04098 177 134 35 8
1051 What kind of knuckle-headed plan are you hatching now? 1.2881 0.04018 177 133 37 7
1052 We've been through this, Mother. Stan identifies as emperor penguin. 1.2881 0.04018 177 133 37 7
1053 Doesn't talk much when hatching his schemes, does he? 1.2881 0.04098 177 134 35 8
1054 You hatch it, you take care of it. 1.2881 0.03938 177 132 39 6
1055 Do you smell sulfur? 1.2881 0.03938 177 132 39 6
1056 When he retired I thought that we would finally travel. 1.2881 0.04018 177 133 37 7
1057 I think I felt a peck 1.2881 0.03938 177 132 39 6
1058 At least he's stopped putting them all in one basket. 1.2881 0.04018 177 133 37 7
1059 They removed the wrong one. 1.2881 0.04098 177 134 35 8
1060 He keeps saying that this is how he rolls. 1.2881 0.04098 177 134 35 8
1061 Harold, it’s still your turn to do the dishes. 1.2881 0.04098 177 134 35 8
1062 We promised to share when we adopted. He sits during the day, I sit at night. 1.2881 0.04251 177 136 31 10
1063 I fear that he has no idea what a nest egg really is. 1.2881 0.04098 177 134 35 8
1064 It’s his hobby. It’s cheaper than bowling, and he’s home nights. 1.2881 0.03855 177 131 41 5
1065 Natural childbirth was out of the question for us. 1.2881 0.04326 177 137 29 11
1066 If it breaks, he'll have egg on more than just his face... 1.2881 0.04098 177 134 35 8
1067 At least when it hatches I get maternity leave. 1.2881 0.03938 177 132 39 6
1068 Geez, Leonard - at least say excuse me! 1.2881 0.04018 177 133 37 7
1069 Five bucks says we’re having an omelet for dinner. 1.2881 0.04251 177 136 31 10
1070 He's protecting his nest egg. 1.2881 0.03771 177 130 43 4
1071 He didn't lay the egg, he ordered it from Ebay. 1.2881 0.04098 177 134 35 8
1072 That’s my Harold. You should’ve seen the idea he hatched last month. 1.2881 0.04018 177 135 34 8
1073 I'm waiting to judge until it hatches. 1.2881 0.04175 177 135 33 9
1074 How did he get up there 1.2881 0.03771 177 130 43 4
1075 Alvin's gym instructor suggested his balance would improve if he practiced being Humpty Dumpty. 1.2881 0.04251 177 136 31 10
1076 I did all the labour to lay it, now he is going to get all the glory when it hatches. 1.2881 0.03855 177 131 41 5
1077 Edward, this could prove to be the worst idea you’ve ever hatched. 1.2881 0.03855 177 131 41 5
1078 It's good for his core, but not his cholesterol. 1.2881 0.04175 177 135 33 9
1079 It is the first thing he has laid in over fifty years. 1.2881 0.03938 177 132 39 6
1080 It's called "modern-chick". 1.2881 0.03771 177 132 40 5
1081 I prefer free range eggs. 1.2881 0.03771 177 134 37 6
1082 He thinks our nest egg might hatch into something bigger...and it's good for his abs. 1.2881 0.03771 177 130 43 4
1083 The doctor said the inflammation will go down in a few days. 1.2881 0.04018 177 133 37 7
1084 It's not his, though. 1.2881 0.03855 177 131 41 5
1085 Do you want to take a crack at it? 1.2881 0.03938 177 135 35 7
1086 I hate it when he brings work home 1.2881 0.04018 177 133 37 7
1087 I told him where he could stick his 1,000-watt light bulb invention. 1.2881 0.04018 177 133 37 7
1088 Yes, George takes very good care of our nest egg. 1.2881 0.04098 177 134 35 8
1089 We thought the online add said it was "erg"onomic... 1.2881 0.04018 177 133 37 7
1090 Don't you think this is rather extreme, Benedict? 1.2881 0.03938 177 132 39 6
1091 Arthur won't stop talking about the farm-to-table movement. He's making breakfast. 1.2865 0.03999 178 136 34 8
1092 And what was wrong with the standing desk?" 1.2857 0.04121 175 133 34 8
1093 He’s been doing that ever since we became empty-nesters. 1.2857 0.04041 175 132 36 7
1094 He wanted a bird’s eye view. 1.2857 0.04277 175 135 30 10
1095 So will this be a monthly thing? 1.2857 0.04121 175 133 34 8
1096 This is the least of his fowl behaviors; I call it his “over easy chair”. 1.2857 0.04041 175 132 36 7
1097 When we bought it at the MoMA gift shop we didn't realize it was a couch. 1.2857 0.04200 175 134 32 9
1098 Is he planning on breast feeding? 1.2857 0.04200 175 134 32 9
1099 We're hoping it's a boy. 1.2857 0.04121 175 133 34 8
1100 Tell me again how you got up there. 1.2857 0.04041 175 132 36 7
1101 We tried postmodern,then transitional. Now it's Mesozoic. 1.2857 0.04041 175 134 33 8
1102 It made him feel better on his 60th birthday when the kids started called him a dinosaur 1.2857 0.03958 175 131 38 6
1103 He's just still brooding. 1.2857 0.04293 154 116 32 6
1104 Doctor says Bill caught a strain of chicken pox and bird flu. 1.2857 0.04041 175 132 36 7
1105 I’m sure he came first. 1.2857 0.03958 175 131 38 6
1106 The deal is, if he does this, then I have to do the sex talk. 1.2857 0.04121 175 133 34 8
1107 Some guy called him a chicken. He wants to prove him wrong. 1.2857 0.04121 175 133 34 8
1108 Unusual but very effective. His doctor said it would help with his posture but as a side effect, he no longer can reach the remote. 1.2857 0.03958 175 131 38 6
1109 Ignore him. He's just trying to egg us on. 1.2857 0.03701 175 128 44 3
1110 I told him to invest in a mutual fund but noooo... 1.2857 0.03875 175 130 40 5
1111 He is confident that Ancestry.com will prove he is related to Humpty Dumpty. 1.2857 0.04121 175 133 34 8
1112 It's our neighbor's egg. They're on vacation. 1.2857 0.04041 175 132 36 7
1113 Given the absence of a giant rooster, he may be sitting there for some time. 1.2857 0.04121 175 133 34 8
1114 Dr. Wisotsky says it’s a classic “Humpty Dumpty “ complex. 1.2857 0.04041 175 132 36 7
1115 Whose gender is being revealed at this party? 1.2857 0.03958 175 131 38 6
1116 This is not the nest egg I was expecting! 1.2857 0.04041 175 132 36 7
1117 Yes, Ralph really laid an egg this time. 1.2857 0.04041 175 132 36 7
1118 I'd like you to meet my husband, Horton. 1.2857 0.04200 175 134 32 9
1119 Harold doesn't work anymore and this is very inconvenient, but the eggs are delicious 1.2857 0.04121 175 133 34 8
1120 No, he just climbed up there after a couple of drinks and has been too scared to jump down. 1.2857 0.04041 175 134 33 8
1121 I told Harry he could get a hatched one at the pound. 1.2857 0.04354 175 136 28 11
1122 Well, it does look like him. 1.2857 0.03789 175 129 42 4
1123 Orin, hatch already!! 1.2857 0.04121 175 133 34 8
1124 If nothing else, he's well balanced! 1.2857 0.04041 175 132 36 7
1125 he said it was an impulse buy from eggkea 1.2857 0.04354 175 136 28 11
1126 I just hope when it hatches it will go with the sofa. 1.2857 0.03875 175 130 40 5
1127 Naming it won’t stop us from having omelettes tomorrow. 1.2857 0.03958 175 131 38 6
1128 For the last time son, it doesn’t work that way. 1.2857 0.04354 175 136 28 11
1129 We thought we ordered an ergonomic chair. 1.2857 0.04200 175 134 32 9
1130 Frankly, I don't see sustained growth over the long term. 1.2832 0.04145 173 134 30 9
1131 Last time I buy online. 1.2832 0.04063 173 131 35 7
1132 This is how he protects his best egg for retirement 1.2832 0.03894 173 129 39 5
1133 Thank God the egg came first. 1.2832 0.04225 173 133 31 9
1134 In this economy, it's the only way to grow your nest egg. 1.2832 0.04063 173 131 35 7
1135 You should see the side of bacon that goes with it . 1.2832 0.04063 173 131 35 7
1136 He thinks that THIS one is going to go to medical school. 1.2832 0.03979 173 130 37 6
1137 That's the only one the kids didn't find. 1.2832 0.04457 173 136 25 12
1138 Nope, nothing new around here. 1.2832 0.04145 173 132 33 8
1139 Oh, he’s just hatching another crazy scheme. 1.2832 0.03894 173 129 39 5
1140 The lesson here is not to bet on sports with an emperor penguin. 1.2832 0.04304 173 134 29 10
1141 So how long are you babysitting for Big Bird? 1.2832 0.04063 173 131 35 7
1142 Guinness is banging on the door, CNN's here to interview Harriet, the Wonder Hen, a Michelin chef has plans for the world's record 1-egg omelet... And Roy's gone catatonic 1.2832 0.04145 173 132 33 8
1143 I know he's probably nuts, but if he pulls this off we'll eat like kings. 1.2832 0.04381 173 135 27 11
1144 Stanley took the term "nest egg" literally. 1.2832 0.04063 173 131 35 7
1145 I told him to read the side effects carefully ! 1.2832 0.03979 173 130 37 6
1146 I'm shopping for the world's largest omelette pan. 1.2832 0.03979 173 130 37 6
1147 well, my cousin knows this really good urologist... 1.2807 0.03914 171 128 38 5
1148 I don't have the heart to tell him it's just a rock. 1.2807 0.03914 171 128 38 5
1149 Well, he asked for a new chair in eggshell! 1.2807 0.04001 171 129 36 6
1150 Eventually he plans to ride it to work." 1.2807 0.04086 171 132 31 8
1151 Has one ever hatched? 1.2807 0.04086 171 130 34 7
1152 He bought it on Amazon— swears he’s going to hatch a dragon 1.2807 0.04086 171 130 34 7
1153 Patience, certainly. But people always forget the boyish agility required. 1.2807 0.03825 171 129 37 5
1154 This is the easy part. The hard part was laying it. 1.2807 0.04251 171 132 30 9
1155 You're raising this one yourself, Harold. 1.2807 0.04410 171 134 26 11
1156 Yes well, I did encourage him to leave his job and start an incubator.... this just wasn't what I had in mind. 1.2807 0.04086 171 130 34 7
1157 Yeah, but he still doesn't help with the dishes. 1.2807 0.04086 171 130 34 7
1158 His newest chair patent didn't have legs. 1.2807 0.04331 171 133 28 10
1159 We thought about committing him,but we need the eggs. 1.2807 0.04251 171 132 30 9
1160 The doctor said Harry's cholesterol was high. 1.2807 0.04169 171 131 32 8
1161 Time will tell. 1.2807 0.03825 171 127 40 4
1162 It makes him feel important. 1.2807 0.03825 171 127 40 4
1163 Bill's prostate exam was long overdue 1.2807 0.04410 171 134 26 11
1164 That’s not how we blow bubblegum 1.2807 0.04086 171 130 34 7
1165 Don't mind him. If he leaves our nest egg, we'll get a penalty for early withdrawal. 1.2807 0.04086 171 130 34 7
1166 If he ever succeeds in hatching it, we will all have egg on our face for doubting him. 1.2807 0.04169 171 131 32 8
1167 Yes, Ed's a surrogate. The couple flew in from Australia. 1.2807 0.04251 171 132 30 9
1168 Has he tried Preparation H? 1.2807 0.04410 171 134 26 11
1169 Some of us preferred the nest empty. 1.2807 0.03914 171 128 38 5
1170 Honestly, I still don't understand bitcoin 1.2807 0.04251 171 132 30 9
1171 No, we don’t care what gender it is as long as it has has twelve fingers and toes! 1.2807 0.04169 171 131 32 8
1172 Ever since he put Humpty Dumpty back together again, he has been insufferble! 1.2807 0.03914 171 128 38 5
1173 Our cholesterol levels are through the roof, but the omelettes are to die for. 1.2807 0.04086 171 130 34 7
1174 But, if it does hatch Bill has promised to keep it in the back yard only! 1.2807 0.03914 171 128 38 5
1175 It doesn't look ergonomic to me. 1.2807 0.04169 171 131 32 8
1176 I told him if he sits on it long enough, we will have a baby. It worked like a charm...he hasn't bothered me in bed for twenty years. 1.2807 0.04001 171 129 36 6
1177 It works the core and feeds one hundred. 1.2807 0.04001 171 129 36 6
1178 But it's not gold now is it? 1.2807 0.03825 171 127 40 4
1179 Being an empty nester has been hard on Bill. 1.2807 0.03825 171 127 40 4
1180 He's fallen up and he can't get down. 1.2807 0.04331 171 133 28 10
1181 He's a stay-at-home dad 1.2807 0.03734 171 126 42 3
1182 Soon. That's why we pulled up the rug. 1.2807 0.03825 171 127 40 4
1183 He gets very aggressive if someone tries to take his seat. 1.2807 0.04001 171 129 36 6
1184 We started late 1.2798 0.04043 168 127 35 6
1185 Goodness me, as if we need another ostrich in the house. 1.2798 0.04381 168 131 27 10
1186 You’re headed for a really bad case of empty nest syndrome. 1.2798 0.04299 168 130 29 9
1187 My doctor said he’s never seen this degree of a prolapse. 1.2798 0.04043 168 127 35 6
1188 Morris has always wanted a dinosaur. 1.2798 0.04130 168 128 33 7
1189 He wants an offspring in the worst way. 1.2798 0.04130 168 128 33 7
1190 I read that egg sitting combats toxic masculinity. 1.2798 0.04215 168 129 31 8
1191 Frankly, I don’t think anyone actually knows what a ‘nest egg’ is. 1.2798 0.04215 168 129 31 8
1192 Awkward... 1.2798 0.03953 168 126 37 5
1193 Mother's not impressed. You're not a goose and it's not golden. 1.2798 0.03953 168 126 37 5
1194 He might be overprotective but all the king's horses and all the kings men... 1.2798 0.03862 168 125 39 4
1195 Says it’s the only way he can get a young chick 1.2798 0.04299 168 130 29 9
1196 I know that other man bring home work as well, but you’re a paleontologist! 1.2798 0.04043 168 127 35 6
1197 I suggested an incubator, but Marlin's so old-fashioned. 1.2798 0.03953 168 126 37 5
1198 Seems like a painful way to celebrate Easter. 1.2798 0.04130 168 128 33 7
1199 Guess that dentist wasn’t joking about the lead skirt... 1.2798 0.04215 168 129 31 8
1200 I still don't understand it but, it did save our marriage. 1.2798 0.04130 168 128 33 7
1201 Harold insists he came first. 1.2798 0.04299 168 130 29 9
1202 Usually, Stanley is extremely secretive when he's hatching up something odd to surprise me with. 1.2798 0.03862 168 125 39 4
1203 So enlighten us, Roger. Which came first?” 1.2798 0.04215 168 129 31 8
1204 I knew we shouldn't have thrown away his armchair. 1.2798 0.04215 168 129 31 8
1205 He seriously thinks that whatever comes out eventually will call him 'daddy'... 1.2798 0.03953 168 126 37 5
1206 It started with poufs. 1.2798 0.04043 168 127 35 6
1207 As with many things, in nesting, size matters. 1.2798 0.04215 168 129 31 8
1208 I told him not to swallow that chewing gum! 1.2798 0.04215 168 129 31 8
1209 Sooner or later he'll have a great fall. 1.2798 0.04043 168 127 35 6
1210 Honey, this is your project, I won't be doing any of the regurgitating. 1.2798 0.04215 168 129 31 8
1211 I got him at Cirque du Soleil. 1.2798 0.04299 168 130 29 9
1212 Ergonomics was never you're forte. 1.2798 0.04215 168 129 31 8
1213 He’s more of a dumpty than a humpty. 1.2798 0.04299 168 130 29 9
1214 In an ever more confusing world, it gives him a sense of purpose. 1.2798 0.04130 168 128 33 7
1215 When Joe said he wanted to start a work-from-home incubator space I too wondered how his lack of tech skills would make it possible. 1.2798 0.04215 168 129 31 8
1216 Stop brooding, it's not attractive! 1.2798 0.04299 168 130 29 9
1217 I'm tired of walking on eggshells, OK? 1.2798 0.03953 168 126 37 5
1218 Couldn't handle being an empty-nester, huh? 1.2798 0.03953 168 126 37 5
1219 I would have preferred the chicken. 1.2798 0.04130 168 128 33 7
1220 I always said that he was a big chicken. 1.2798 0.04381 168 131 27 10
1221 Of course he’s hen pecked but still a good lay. 1.2798 0.04043 168 127 35 6
1222 All I'm saying is I'm not bringing the king's horses in here. 1.2798 0.04130 168 128 33 7
1223 He doesn't understand the idea of a large nest egg. 1.2798 0.04043 168 127 35 6
1224 He finally watched March of the Penguins. 1.2798 0.04299 168 130 29 9
1225 Which came out of you first: the chicken or the egg? 1.2798 0.04381 168 131 27 10
1226 It's the latest in organic furniture. 1.2798 0.04043 168 127 35 6
1227 Sorry, we didn’t know you’d gone vegan. 1.2798 0.04215 168 129 31 8
1228 Maybe I should do the grocery shopping from now on. 1.2798 0.04381 168 131 27 10
1229 It was supposed to be an ergonomic chair. 1.2798 0.03673 168 123 43 2
1230 I warned you not to egg him on. 1.2798 0.03953 168 126 37 5
1231 The therapist seems to think it’s a deep longing for Mother 1.2798 0.04043 168 127 35 6
1232 The chicken eggs weren’t strong enough. 1.2798 0.03953 168 126 37 5
1233 Don't worry, that's just his inflated ego. It'll shrink to a manageable size after he sees his brother's new fiance. 1.2798 0.04130 168 128 33 7
1234 My eyes are up here. 1.2798 0.04299 168 130 29 9
1235 Harold said he wanted another one. 1.2798 0.03953 168 126 37 5
1236 Harold has been trying to get in touch with his maternal side. 1.2798 0.03953 168 126 37 5
1237 I'll admit I never really saw Harry's maternal side until now. 1.2798 0.04215 168 129 31 8
1238 He takes over the sitting duties when he gets home from work. 1.2798 0.04130 168 128 33 7
1239 We decided years ago I would work, and he would raise the kids. 1.2798 0.04043 168 127 35 6
1240 Yeah... MY husband told me we had plenty 'squirreled away.' 1.2798 0.04215 168 129 31 8
1241 Ironically, we had a chicken chair first. 1.2798 0.04215 168 129 31 8
1242 The dragon never showed up, so he uses the egg for core strengthening. 1.2798 0.04043 168 127 35 6
1243 That was interesting,now show me how you deflate it! 1.2798 0.04299 168 130 29 9
1244 I told him, “you laid it, you hatch it”. 1.2798 0.04381 168 131 27 10
1245 I told him that anything would be better than that old recliner...” 1.2798 0.03953 168 126 37 5
1246 Is this called “The Hatch Act”? 1.2798 0.04215 168 129 31 8
1247 Silly looking, sure, but you can bounce a quarter off Myron’s abs I tell you. 1.2798 0.03673 168 123 43 2
1248 He's just hoping it's not a tyrannosaurus. 1.2798 0.03953 168 126 37 5
1249 When it comes to retirement, Charles is a bit of a literalist. 1.2798 0.04215 168 129 31 8
1250 He’s protecting it from poachers. 1.2798 0.04215 168 129 31 8
1251 On the plus side, he's lost a lot of weight. 1.2798 0.03953 168 126 37 5
1252 Don't worry mom, Jerry has this business incubator idea he's been sitting on for a while. 1.2798 0.04043 168 127 35 6
1253 All I told him is that he should be more nurturing. 1.2798 0.04130 168 128 33 7
1254 This is great, but I just wanted him to cook dinner once in a while. 1.2798 0.04215 168 129 31 8
1255 If it starts hatching, he's gonna get pecked right in the nuts. 1.2798 0.04381 168 131 27 10
1256 I’m ok with it for now, but if it hatches we’re through. 1.2798 0.04043 168 127 35 6
1257 Needless to say, we're sitting on quite a nest egg. 1.2771 0.04065 166 126 34 6
1258 We'll be able to pay you back, mother, as soon as our nest egg hatches. 1.2771 0.03881 166 131 28 7
1259 He told me, ‘I’m expecting to sit on a large nest egg,’ not that he’d be sitting, expecting, on a large egg. 1.2771 0.04241 166 128 30 8
1260 His therapist says it'll develop his nurturing instinct. 1.2771 0.04326 166 129 28 9
1261 The Egg. The Egg came first." 1.2771 0.04065 166 126 34 6
1262 There’s something in his soul o'er which his melancholy sits on brood, and I do doubt the hatch and the disclose will be some danger which for to prevent, I have in quick determination thus set it down: he shall with speed to England. 1.2771 0.04065 166 126 34 6
1263 And to think I always thought it was his ego that was inflated... 1.2771 0.04065 166 126 34 6
1264 I think his diaper is full 1.2771 0.04241 166 128 30 8
1265 My first husband, I had him stuffed and mounted, he was a good egg. 1.2771 0.04491 166 131 24 11
1266 The doctor said the polyp was benign?! 1.2771 0.04241 166 128 30 8
1267 Exercise balls are for amateurs. 1.2771 0.04154 166 129 29 8
1268 Not on the rug, Martin. 1.2771 0.04065 166 126 34 6
1269 Is your son having a midlife crisis or a gender reveal party? 1.2771 0.04154 166 127 32 7
1270 He said any more egg jokes and he's taking œuf. 1.2771 0.04241 166 128 30 8
1271 It's the newest GOOP egg. This year is all about balance. 1.2771 0.04241 166 128 30 8
1272 Don't laugh when he tries to get off. 1.2771 0.04065 166 126 34 6
1273 I think IKEA is taking modern design to an extreme 1.2771 0.03786 166 123 40 3
1274 Well for heaven’s sake George, it was just a joke! 1.2771 0.04154 166 127 32 7
1275 Ignore my husband. He doesn’t need anyone else egging him on. 1.2771 0.04065 166 126 34 6
1276 At least something's getting laid. 1.2771 0.04326 166 129 28 9
1277 Harold is very "woke" about gender roles. 1.2771 0.04154 166 127 32 7
1278 So this is that nest egg you've been talking about? 1.2771 0.04154 166 127 32 7
1279 So we’re not going to talk about the egg in the room? 1.2771 0.04065 166 126 34 6
1280 Horton, get down from there 1.2771 0.04241 166 128 30 8
1281 'He is a silly goose, he thinks it will turn to gold.' 1.2771 0.04065 166 126 34 6
1282 Gender-wise, Sheldon is on the fence. 1.2771 0.03881 166 124 38 4
1283 They told him he needed to hatch a good idea. 1.2771 0.03974 166 125 36 5
1284 If I had to guess, I'd say it's because we never had children. 1.2771 0.04154 166 127 32 7
1285 He thinks if it hatches it won't cause allergies, it'll love him unconditionally, and it'll eat his enemies. 1.2771 0.03974 166 125 36 5
1286 It's a yoga egg. Don't even ask. 1.2771 0.03974 166 125 36 5
1287 My decorator says it's from the Mesozoic collection. 1.2771 0.04065 166 126 34 6
1288 I told Ed, you dug it up, you sit on it! 1.2771 0.04409 166 130 26 10
1289 It's his retirement nest egg. Our financial advisor is Big Bird. 1.2771 0.03881 166 124 38 4
1290 We prefer index funds to just sitting on our next egg. 1.2771 0.03974 166 125 36 5
1291 Earl, you can't even hatch a plan. 1.2771 0.03974 166 125 36 5
1292 Yes you might say he is a little egg-centric. 1.2771 0.04241 166 128 30 8
1293 Which came first, the egg or his midlife crisis? 1.2771 0.03974 166 125 36 5
1294 After it hatches, Leonard can retire. 1.2771 0.04065 166 126 34 6
1295 Hatch it damn it 1.2771 0.04065 166 126 34 6
1296 Carl has an appointment to get that thing lanced. 1.2771 0.04154 166 127 32 7
1297 I don't give a peep, just stop egging him on. 1.2771 0.04065 166 126 34 6
1298 So, this is the nest egg we’ve been hearing about. 1.2771 0.04326 166 129 28 9
1299 Is it me, or has Fred's nest egg grown? 1.2771 0.03881 166 124 38 4
1300 Since we used a sperm donor, that’s his job. 1.2771 0.04154 166 127 32 7
1301 Do you think it’s a bit too post-post modern? 1.2771 0.04409 166 130 26 10
1302 I don't care if it's good for your back. 1.2771 0.04065 166 126 34 6
1303 Until I damn well say so, that's how long.. 1.2771 0.03881 166 124 38 4
1304 We're hoping he hatches an Eames chair. 1.2771 0.04154 166 127 32 7
1305 He can't sit still without that cushion. 1.2771 0.04154 166 127 32 7
1306 Unfortunately there were no proctologists in our medical insurance network. 1.2771 0.04154 166 127 32 7
1307 Eggshell is the new gray 1.2771 0.04065 166 126 34 6
1308 Don't look at me, you're the one who egged him on. 1.2771 0.03688 166 122 42 2
1309 I'm waiting to see who'll crack first. 1.2771 0.03881 166 124 38 4
1310 It wouldn’t be so bad if he’d just stop saying ‘goo goo ga joob’ every ten seconds. 1.2771 0.04241 166 128 30 8
1311 We were empty-nesters, but now I don't know what we are. 1.2771 0.04241 166 128 30 8
1312 Don't keep us in suspense. What's this big plan you are hatching? 1.2771 0.03974 166 125 36 5
1313 I bought it on EBAY 1.2771 0.04154 166 127 32 7
1314 He was always a fan of big-bird. 1.2771 0.04572 166 132 22 12
1315 When he said he was leaving his job to start and incubator, I just had no idea. 1.2771 0.04154 166 130 29 7
1316 I keep telling him Humpty Dumpty sat on a WALL. 1.2771 0.04065 166 126 34 6
1317 When it comes to Henry's nest egg, he doesn't trust any of those investment firms. 1.2771 0.03786 166 123 40 3
1318 When we bought the house, his nesting instinct really kicked in. 1.2771 0.04065 166 126 34 6
1319 Impressive. But are you free range? 1.2771 0.04154 166 127 32 7
1320 Talk about an empty-nester. 1.2771 0.04241 166 128 30 8
1321 He thinks he’s being useful. 1.2771 0.04154 166 127 32 7
1322 Never swallow bubblegum! 1.2771 0.04326 166 129 28 9
1323 It's a good retirement plan, but it keeps us pretty much stuck at home." 1.2771 0.03974 166 125 36 5
1324 I thought you said you were going to get a beanbag chair 1.2771 0.04065 166 126 34 6
1325 It’s supposed to stimulate creativity but it’s also good for hemorrhoids.” 1.2771 0.03881 166 124 38 4
1326 We're surprised too, Walt has always had commitment issues." 1.2771 0.04154 166 127 32 7
1327 At least he's a good lay. 1.2771 0.04241 166 128 30 8
1328 You know, I always wondered what the whole "egg donor" thing was about. Good for you. 1.2761 0.04289 163 126 29 8
1329 I should have been suspicious when he said his absolute favorite film was Jurassic Park 1.2754 0.03861 167 125 38 4
1330 He’s always trying to hatch some wild scheme. 1.2744 0.04178 164 126 31 7
1331 Only another 21 weeks to Easter. 1.2744 0.04266 164 127 29 8
1332 Would you like to stay for lunch? We're having egg salad. 1.2744 0.04353 164 128 27 9
1333 It fixes his posture, but he looks like an idiot. 1.2744 0.04087 164 125 33 6
1334 Pelvic floor exercises! 1.2744 0.03900 164 123 37 4
1335 I think you need a new financial advisor. 1.2744 0.04353 164 128 27 9
1336 Charades? Oh, I get it--he's Teri Hatcher! 1.2744 0.04266 164 127 29 8
1337 First it was flatulence, now this! 1.2744 0.04178 164 126 31 7
1338 I told him child birth is like a man passing a very large egg. 1.2744 0.03994 164 124 35 5
1339 Does he really expect us to believe he laid that thing? 1.2744 0.04266 164 127 29 8
1340 The kids are calling it poultryamory. 1.2744 0.04178 164 126 31 7
1341 Horton is his hero-mine too, really. 1.2744 0.03900 164 123 37 4
1342 If it hatches with a double yolk, we can't afford it. 1.2744 0.03803 164 125 35 4
1343 I thought you said he was an egghead." 1.2744 0.03994 164 124 35 5
1344 Nice try, Joe. But it’s not size that counts here. 1.2744 0.04087 164 125 33 6
1345 Stan wanted a child, but I wanted a pet, so we compromised. 1.2744 0.03900 164 123 37 4
1346 Over the phone he thought he was buying a large keg and, well, here we are. 1.2744 0.04178 164 126 31 7
1347 So I gather you just started saving for retirement? 1.2744 0.03994 164 124 35 5
1348 He's kept it there ever since the crash. 1.2744 0.04178 164 126 31 7
1349 Empty nesting just wasn’t for us. 1.2744 0.04438 164 129 25 10
1350 I think when it hatches he’ll realize he’s neither the father nor the mother. 1.2744 0.04178 164 126 31 7
1351 Whatever you do, don't ask him about his hemorrhoids! 1.2744 0.04266 164 127 29 8
1352 I don’t know what kind of plot he’s hatching but I think it’s gonna be big! 1.2744 0.04087 164 125 33 6
1353 Has your new bean bag chair broken in yet, Herman? 1.2744 0.03900 164 123 37 4
1354 I never said anything about size...just that it wouldn't be golden. 1.2744 0.03600 164 120 43 1
1355 Oh great, now it's gonna be "HeToo" this and "HeToo" that now. 1.2744 0.04178 164 126 31 7
1356 It keeps his mind off of work. 1.2733 0.03939 161 121 36 4
1357 He's taking his mentor role at the Incubator very seriously. 1.2733 0.03939 161 121 36 4
1358 As an anthropologist, he’s still conflicted. 1.2733 0.04132 161 123 32 6
1359 This isn’t the first time he’s laid an egg. 1.2733 0.04132 161 123 32 6
1360 I say what's the use of having a nest egg if you don't use it. 1.2733 0.04132 161 123 32 6
1361 Unfortunately, someone told him to sit on his nest egg and it would grow naturally. 1.2733 0.04037 161 122 34 5
1362 There’s gender fluid, then there’s gender stupid. 1.2733 0.04405 161 126 26 9
1363 Greg’s not dealing with the empty nest syndrome very well... 1.2733 0.04037 161 122 34 5
1364 What came first, Harry or the egg? 1.2733 0.04492 161 127 24 10
1365 I still say that traditional conception would have been more straight-forward 1.2733 0.04225 161 124 30 7
1366 If you hatch it you own it 1.2733 0.04225 161 124 30 7
1367 Psst- don't say anything. We need the eggs. 1.2733 0.04225 161 124 30 7
1368 He claims it's the bubblegum he swallowed... 1.2733 0.04405 161 126 26 9
1369 He met her on Twitter. 1.2733 0.04225 161 124 30 7
1370 It’s from the Empty Nesters’ spring collection. 1.2733 0.04037 161 122 34 5
1371 I always thought he was something of an odd duck. 1.2733 0.03939 161 121 36 4
1372 He won't say anything except, "Goo goo g'joob." 1.2733 0.04405 161 126 26 9
1373 I told him to go with index funds, but did he listen? 1.2733 0.03939 161 120 36 4
1374 His prostate problem just disappeared. 1.2733 0.03939 161 121 36 4
1375 He's on a timer. 1.2733 0.03939 161 121 36 4
1376 He’s a top volunteer at the Museum of Natural History. 1.2733 0.03840 161 120 38 3
1377 Norman didn't realize what getting custody meant'! 1.2733 0.03939 161 121 36 4
1378 That’s going to be one hell of an omelette. 1.2733 0.04225 161 124 30 7
1379 George says it's a new homeopathic hemorrhoid treatment. 1.2733 0.04225 161 124 30 7
1380 Earl's having a ball. 1.2733 0.04132 161 123 32 6
1381 Get over it. You're not the first guy to have hemorrhoids. 1.2733 0.04225 161 124 30 7
1382 He rests on the shell of the man he used to be. 1.2733 0.04225 161 124 30 7
1383 Yes Eric I AM sure the Doctor will make another visit under the circumstances. 1.2733 0.04225 161 124 30 7
1384 There's no debate. He came first. 1.2733 0.04037 161 122 34 5
1385 He just sits there brooding all day 1.2733 0.03939 161 121 36 4
1386 I thought it was just a phase but it's grown into something bigger. 1.2733 0.04225 161 124 30 7
1387 Big man...always trying to hatch some big plan. 1.2733 0.04225 161 124 30 7
1388 Ever since the kids moved out, he's been trying to fill the empty nest. 1.2733 0.04316 161 125 28 8
1389 We always thought I was the one who would crack as an empty nester. 1.2733 0.04225 161 122 30 7
1390 The neighbors asked me to keep an eye on it until they get back. 1.2733 0.03685 161 125 29 6
1391 he said he's "nesting" 1.2733 0.04132 161 123 32 6
1392 For god's sake, Frank. I said a large pack of eggs! 1.2733 0.04316 161 125 28 8
1393 I'm more mid-century modern and he's more mid-Mesozoic. 1.2733 0.04225 161 124 30 7
1394 The doctor said it's just Empty Nest Syndrome. 1.2733 0.04037 161 124 31 6
1395 Tom, You need to come to terms that Joan is not out gathering fish and going to bring it back to you and your penguin offspring. She left you. 1.2733 0.04037 161 122 34 5
1396 It only stands out because we used egg shell paint finish 1.2733 0.03175 161 124 34 3
1397 I hope it gets YOUR hairline! 1.2733 0.04037 161 122 34 5
1398 You wanna stay for brunch? 1.2733 0.04037 161 122 34 5
1399 yes, I agree, but he’s also a good egg. 1.2733 0.03840 161 120 38 3
1400 There's gotta be a yoke in this. 1.2733 0.04225 161 124 30 7
1401 You may as well know...it was one of those Emperor Penguins, they met at the zoo, had a fling, and then she went south for the winter, and left him with the egg. 1.2733 0.04225 161 124 30 7
1402 Carl gets broody every year about this time. 1.2733 0.04132 161 123 32 6
1403 He's convinced it's Mid-Century Modern. 1.2733 0.04037 161 122 34 5
1404 He thinks he laid it himself. 1.2733 0.04225 161 124 30 7
1405 We get it. The egg came first. 1.2733 0.03939 161 121 36 4
1406 He likes to stay on top of things. Literally, for once. 1.2733 0.03632 161 118 42 1
1407 These new eggonomic chairs are supposed to be good for your back, but I think I've been mislaid. 1.2733 0.04037 161 122 34 5
1408 I knew if we got a pet, I'd be the one taking care of it. 1.2733 0.03840 161 120 38 3
1409 We're gender neutral in this house. 1.2733 0.04132 161 123 32 6
1410 It's just charades, Billy, you didn't really need to lay it. 1.2733 0.04225 161 124 30 7
1411 I mean, he just lays there. 1.2733 0.04316 161 125 28 8
1412 Over easy. 1.2733 0.04037 161 122 34 5
1413 Did Guinness world records contact you about your hemorrhoid? 1.2715 0.04401 151 117 27 7
1414 Don't mind him, he's just brooding. 1.2704 0.03857 159 119 37 3
1415 Now what have you done? 1.2704 0.03805 159 120 34 4
1416 After all these years, he's still hoping that at least one great idea will hatch. 1.2704 0.04342 159 124 27 8
1417 He calls it “urban farming”. 1.2704 0.03959 159 120 35 4
1418 So the guy at the bean bag store said it would help your posture? 1.2704 0.04250 159 123 29 7
1419 If its mother comes back and one of us isn't sitting on it we're in big trouble. 1.2704 0.04058 159 121 33 5
1420 Is farting the only way you can keep that egg warm? 1.2704 0.04058 159 121 33 5
1421 It's method. George landed the lead in our community theater's upcoming production of "Horton Hatches the Egg." 1.2704 0.04250 159 123 29 7
1422 His spirit animal is awkward duck. 1.2704 0.04250 159 123 29 7
1423 His doctor told him only one egg per week,and here we are. 1.2704 0.04250 159 123 29 7
1424 You know it will hatch the minute you leave,right? 1.2704 0.03959 159 120 35 4
1425 The tyrannosaurus can only imprint on one of us 1.2704 0.03857 159 119 37 3
1426 I hear free range is healthier. 1.2704 0.03959 159 120 35 4
1427 I'm afraid Harry has only one egg and no basket. 1.2704 0.04250 159 123 29 7
1428 I think you have gas. 1.2704 0.03959 159 120 35 4
1429 Are you sure it's organic? 1.2704 0.04058 159 121 33 5
1430 You should see our pet chicken. 1.2704 0.04058 159 121 33 5
1431 He wants to feel like he can still procreate. 1.2704 0.04342 159 124 27 8
1432 Oh sure, he's all about the nest egg now...but who do you think LAID it? 1.2704 0.04250 159 123 29 7
1433 It does take 60 days to hatch, but apparently it's a great core workout. 1.2704 0.04342 159 124 27 8
1434 I did my part. Now bring home the bacon. 1.2704 0.04058 159 121 33 5
1435 Oh my God! If he doesn’t do something about that prostate! 1.2704 0.04058 159 121 33 5
1436 So you're a stay-at-home Dad? 1.2704 0.04058 159 121 33 5
1437 You still only have one testicle . . . 1.2704 0.04155 159 122 31 6
1438 I can see you're still swallowing gum. 1.2704 0.04155 159 122 31 6
1439 He usually has egg on his face. 1.2704 0.04058 159 121 33 5
1440 I think it's time you blocked NatGeo on your TV, Ruth 1.2704 0.03959 159 120 35 4
1441 I am worried about when it hatches... 1.2704 0.04058 159 121 33 5
1442 Well,how else do I keep it warm? 1.2704 0.04250 159 123 29 7
1443 I think he's hatching something 1.2704 0.03959 159 120 35 4
1444 Are you concerned about the growling noise? 1.2704 0.03959 159 120 35 4
1445 It's good for the core... and omelets. 1.2704 0.03959 159 120 35 4
1446 Now I see why he doesn't go out much. 1.2704 0.04058 159 121 33 5
1447 Eggheads! Always looking down at the rest of us! 1.2704 0.04342 159 124 27 8
1448 Beats the local news. 1.2704 0.04342 159 124 27 8
1449 ‘I’m telling you, whatever it is, you’re walking it. 1.2704 0.04058 159 121 33 5
1450 Harvey resists all labels; he sees himself as neither mammal nor male. 1.2704 0.03959 159 120 35 4
1451 Yep, that's our nest egg, alright. 1.2704 0.04058 159 121 33 5
1452 He finally got off his high horse. 1.2704 0.04155 159 122 31 6
1453 The chicken that laid it got hit crossing the street. 1.2704 0.04155 159 122 31 6
1454 I told him he had to use it or it was going in the frying pan. 1.2704 0.04058 159 121 33 5
1455 His Nesting Instincts have really gone into high gear since he retired. 1.2704 0.04433 159 125 25 9
1456 Don’t ask me why, but it won’t hatch unless an accountant sits on it. 1.2704 0.04433 159 125 25 9
1457 Rotating it every hour is the hard part. 1.2704 0.03857 159 119 37 3
1458 Well, smartypants, I hope 'Brontosaurus damage' is included in your renter's insurance. 1.2704 0.04250 159 123 29 7
1459 It’ll be his first idea in years. 1.2704 0.03752 159 118 39 2
1460 He keeps on hoping he’s the goose that lays the golden egg. 1.2704 0.04058 159 121 33 5
1461 Wishful thinking 1.2704 0.04155 159 122 31 6
1462 The bubble is impressive, but how does he chew it? 1.2704 0.04058 159 121 33 5
1463 He got this idea on the internet that if he sits on it long enough a BarcaLounger with hatch. 1.2704 0.04342 159 124 27 8
1464 Is that the model with built-in speakers? 1.2704 0.04250 159 123 29 7
1465 He’s trying to prove he still has a hot ass. 1.2704 0.04250 159 123 29 7
1466 He's about to have a great fall. 1.2704 0.04155 159 122 31 6
1467 It's nice to have a husband who's always on the ball. 1.2704 0.04155 159 122 31 6
1468 Your robbing the cradle has gotten out of hand. 1.2704 0.04433 159 125 25 9
1469 What ever it is he is getting up in the middle of the night to feed it. 1.2704 0.04433 159 125 25 9
1470 The eggonomic design will keep his back straight for years! 1.2704 0.04433 159 125 25 9
1471 It's either this, or that gaudy recliner. 1.2704 0.04058 159 121 33 5
1472 At first, I was mad that he didn't understand what I meant by 'nest egg,' but now I'm just curious to see what hatches 1.2704 0.04058 159 121 33 5
1473 Uh uh, you're not raising it here with that chick you knocked up! 1.2704 0.04058 159 121 33 5
1474 We have another chair. 1.2704 0.04433 159 125 25 9
1475 Yes you're cage-free, but I wish you'd stay in the kitchen. 1.2704 0.03959 159 120 35 4
1476 He sure has a funny nose! 1.2704 0.03857 159 119 37 3
1477 That's how we roll." 1.2704 0.04155 159 122 31 6
1478 Harold's in a time out for one hour, unless he cracks first 1.2704 0.04250 159 125 26 8
1479 stay at home dad 1.2704 0.04058 159 121 33 5
1480 Henry grew up on a farm. 1.2704 0.04058 159 121 33 5
1481 He's trying to do more around the house. 1.2704 0.04058 159 121 33 5
1482 Howard used to think he was the top lawyer in Washington. Now he thinks he's a chicken. 1.2704 0.04433 159 125 25 9
1483 It's uncomfortable, but he's emotionally attached to it. 1.2704 0.03752 159 118 39 2
1484 I'm worried, the incubation period ended three months ago. 1.2704 0.03752 159 118 39 2
1485 They used to call him "Egg Head." Now it's "Egg Butt." 1.2704 0.04779 159 129 17 13
1486 When you genetically engineer a T. Rex in your basement, you have to cut a few corners. 1.2704 0.04250 159 123 29 7
1487 At least something in this house got laid 1.2675 0.04179 157 121 30 6
1488 You'd think after all these years our nest egg would be a bit bigger. 1.2675 0.03978 157 121 31 5
1489 Isn't it ironic that we, as identical twins, are both infatuated with the same guy? 1.2675 0.04179 157 121 30 6
1490 He got it online after reading an interview with Gwyneth. 1.2675 0.04080 157 122 29 6
1491 I think we need to talk about the egg-lephant in the room. 1.2675 0.04275 157 122 28 7
1492 He swears that it’s helping him with his transition as an empty nester. 1.2675 0.03874 157 118 36 3
1493 Most people would have picked a throne. 1.2675 0.04275 157 122 28 7
1494 George, I love the increased responsibility, but we’re still not getting a dog 1.2675 0.04080 157 120 32 5
1495 He’s brooding because I called him a chicken. 1.2675 0.04179 157 121 30 6
1496 I keep buying him Preparation H but he refuses to use it. 1.2675 0.04275 157 122 28 7
1497 He's trying to hatch his next big idea.` 1.2675 0.04370 157 123 26 8
1498 He's so dramatic. It's just a hemorrhoid. It'll go away in its own. 1.2675 0.03978 157 119 34 4
1499 Stewart, you can't even crack a joke - much less an egg. 1.2675 0.04080 157 120 32 5
1500 Harvey's had a really hard time with empty nest syndrome. 1.2675 0.04275 157 122 28 7
1501 I keep telling him over and over again that his friend, Horton, is taking advantage of him. 1.2675 0.04462 157 124 24 9
1502 It was $100 less than an ergonomic chair 1.2675 0.04179 157 121 29 6
1503 It’s mid-mesozoic era modern. I have eleven more. 1.2675 0.04080 157 120 32 5
1504 We don't really have any other options. Last time we plugged in the incubator, every house on the block lost electricity. 1.2675 0.04179 157 121 30 6
1505 Don’t ask me, Madge! Last one was an Emu! 1.2675 0.04080 157 120 32 5
1506 I've really got to find out what happened in Antarctica. 1.2675 0.04370 157 123 26 8
1507 Bill, how’s the empty nesting life? 1.2675 0.04080 157 120 32 5
1508 I don't care if you are gay, that's still my job 1.2675 0.03768 157 117 38 2
1509 When's your due date? 1.2675 0.04370 157 123 26 8
1510 Harry and I agreed to share the child rearing duties 1.2675 0.03768 157 121 32 4
1511 Gwyneth Paltrow says it's good for mental clarity. 1.2675 0.03874 157 118 36 3
1512 He's been brooding ever since we got the new furniture. 1.2675 0.04275 157 122 28 7
1513 What do you mean you had an affair with a hen? 1.2675 0.04275 157 122 28 7
1514 It hatches, and then what? 1.2675 0.04080 157 120 32 5
1515 I'd hate to see the sperm. 1.2675 0.04462 157 124 24 9
1516 I have my doubts about those non-GMO claims. 1.2675 0.04275 157 122 28 7
1517 That’s the last time I’ll suggest growing a ‘nest egg’. 1.2675 0.03874 157 118 36 3
1518 Is that a dinosaur in your egg or are you just glad to see us ? 1.2675 0.04275 157 122 28 7
1519 He went to Ikea 1.2675 0.04179 157 121 30 6
1520 My Harold's just the best at managing our nest egg. 1.2675 0.04179 157 120 30 6
1521 Are you sure they’re putting hormones in chicken-feed? 1.2675 0.03768 157 117 38 2
1522 He also bought a bacon couch but I made him put that in the basement. 1.2675 0.04275 157 122 28 7
1523 So who came first, Chuck or the egg? 1.2675 0.04179 157 121 30 6
1524 I think he's egg-cellent. 1.2675 0.03874 157 118 36 3
1525 He thinks if he bonds with this one now it won't grow up to resent him. 1.2675 0.04275 157 122 28 7
1526 He thinks he's woke. 1.2675 0.04080 157 120 32 5
1527 I'm waiting to see which cracks first; Harold or the egg. 1.2675 0.04080 157 120 32 5
1528 I tell Larry no to swallow his gum, but does he listen? 1.2675 0.04179 157 121 30 6
1529 It’s from Ikea. For once, no assembly needed. He loves it. 1.2675 0.04370 157 123 26 8
1530 We take turns sitting on it, but I'm not sure we really want it to hatch 1.2675 0.04080 157 120 32 5
1531 Does this happen everyday? 1.2675 0.04275 157 122 28 7
1532 Boy, that is quite a hemorrhoid. 1.2675 0.04370 157 123 26 8
1533 I'm not sure that's how Atlas did it. 1.2675 0.04462 157 124 24 9
1534 George spoke up at PTA last night and as usual laid an egg. 1.2675 0.03768 157 117 38 2
1535 Any day now, he'll hatch the elephant in the room. 1.2675 0.04553 157 125 22 10
1536 I told you to quit swallowing chewing gum! 1.2675 0.04080 157 120 32 5
1537 I'm method acting for the role of Humpty Dumpty. 1.2675 0.03978 157 125 25 7
1538 Oh that? It's a rotten egg. He was the last one there. 1.2675 0.04370 157 123 26 8
1539 Frank's hemorrhoids are acting up again. 1.2675 0.04080 157 120 32 5
1540 I keep telling him to watch Jurassic Park to the end. 1.2675 0.04080 157 120 32 5
1541 This isn't what we meant when we said you could have free range 1.2675 0.04179 157 123 27 7
1542 Where did you say you put the Chicken ? 1.2675 0.04179 157 121 30 6
1543 He's trying to get in touch with his maternal instincts. 1.2675 0.03978 157 119 34 4
1544 Definitely poached. 1.2675 0.04179 157 121 30 6
1545 How many months? 1.2675 0.03978 157 119 34 4
1546 All the king's horses and all the king's men couldn't... but guess who COULD?!!? 1.2675 0.04080 157 120 32 5
1547 Before we married, all his friends told me he was a good egg. 1.2675 0.04462 157 124 24 9
1548 Was it a calcium or uric acid stone? 1.2675 0.03978 157 119 34 4
1549 Since the fall, Howard self identified as All The Kings Men. 1.2675 0.04080 157 120 32 5
1550 Seriously, homeboy worked for a startup for like ONE year and ever since he’s said he can’t just sit in a normal chair like a normal person 1.2675 0.04370 157 123 26 8
1551 Which came first, Mr. Little? 1.2675 0.04275 157 122 28 7
1552 Our marriage is just a big yolk to him. 1.2675 0.04080 157 120 32 5
1553 Nest egg sitting is a lot of work, but Harold swears his core muscles are really benefitting. 1.2675 0.04275 157 122 28 7
1554 Faberge' says it should disappear in a few days--and popping it will only make it worse. 1.2675 0.04179 157 121 30 6
1555 He's only on there 15% of the time. Same as housework. 1.2675 0.04275 157 122 28 7
1556 He's been doing it ever since we saw "March of the Penguins". 1.2675 0.04275 157 122 28 7
1557 I meant what I said, and I said what I meant, George Smith is faithful, 100%. 1.2675 0.03978 157 119 34 4
1558 It took a little introspection but he is finally out of his shell! 1.2675 0.04370 157 123 26 8
1559 Yes, Harry. You're on the ball. 1.2675 0.03874 157 118 36 3
1560 He mastered his balance ball. This is the next step. 1.2675 0.03874 157 118 36 3
1561 That's not how charades works. 1.2675 0.04080 157 120 32 5
1562 He is so proud of this one!" 1.2675 0.04275 157 122 28 7
1563 For the love of God, Hank, stop babying him. 1.2675 0.04553 157 125 22 10
1564 I don’t have the heart to tell him it’s a rock. 1.2675 0.04275 157 122 28 7
1565 It's known as an eggsistential crisis 1.2675 0.04462 157 124 24 9
1566 It's hard to believe that big egg came from such a small senator. 1.2675 0.04553 157 125 22 10
1567 You really have him henpecked. 1.2675 0.04179 157 121 30 6
1568 Luckily, Harold has high good cholesterol." 1.2675 0.04370 157 123 26 8
1569 I keep telling him that he needs to have that growth checked out by his doctor. 1.2675 0.04080 157 120 32 5
1570 I didn't say eggsactly 1.2675 0.03978 157 119 34 4
1571 If your irresponsible son marries an irresponsible chicken, you have to expect to raise your own grandchild. 1.2675 0.04370 157 123 26 8
1572 I told him if he does it for 9 months, I'll let him get me pregnant. 1.2675 0.04080 157 120 32 5
1573 Yes, we never did learn the name of that masked dinosaur—all she left behind was this egg. Bob is hoping for a boy. 1.2662 0.04125 154 118 31 5
1574 It's a splendid egg, Benedict. 1.2662 0.04226 154 119 29 6
1575 I’m not even gonna guess how you got up there. 1.2662 0.04326 154 120 27 7
1576 I'm not sure which one came first. 1.2662 0.04226 154 119 29 6
1577 I warned him that’s what happens when you have an affair 1.2662 0.04423 154 121 25 8
1578 He lost the other one. 1.2662 0.04125 154 118 31 5
1579 I told him to lay off of it. 1.2662 0.04326 154 120 27 7
1580 Harold hopes his nest egg will grow. 1.2662 0.04226 154 119 29 6
1581 No, I said go suck an egg! 1.2662 0.04517 154 122 23 9
1582 So, what’s for dinner? 1.2662 0.04125 154 118 31 5
1583 He hasn't been the same since he saw "March of the Penguins." 1.2662 0.04125 154 118 31 5
1584 You really should get that checked. 1.2662 0.04423 154 121 25 8
1585 Looks like he's brooding again 1.2662 0.04020 154 117 33 4
1586 He's very cautious with our nest egg. 1.2662 0.04020 154 117 33 4
1587 What scheme are you hatching up this time? 1.2662 0.03913 154 116 35 3
1588 It's how he wanted to spend his retirement. 1.2662 0.03913 154 116 35 3
1589 If you're going to burst Marvin's bubble, I'll open a window. 1.2662 0.04326 154 120 27 7
1590 George, why don't you buy eggs like everyone else? 1.2662 0.04020 154 117 33 4
1591 That's just Henry's way of asking us to play charades. 1.2662 0.04226 154 119 29 6
1592 You shoulda heard the squawk when he laid it! 1.2662 0.04125 154 118 31 5
1593 He's always hatching something! 1.2662 0.04020 154 117 33 4
1594 Sure it's expensive but have you seen the price of quail eggs? 1.2662 0.04326 154 120 27 7
1595 And the worst of it is, the snow is rotting the floorboards 1.2662 0.04020 154 117 33 4
1596 I still can't figure out which came first. 1.2662 0.04423 154 121 25 8
1597 We met on a trip to Antarctica. 1.2662 0.03913 154 116 35 3
1598 His posture is great but he’s really not so on the ball 1.2662 0.03913 154 116 35 3
1599 I shudder to think what Harold is hatching up this time. 1.2662 0.04423 154 121 25 8
1600 We warned you not to swallow your bubble gum. 1.2662 0.03913 154 116 35 3
1601 Is George incubating again? 1.2662 0.04020 154 117 33 4
1602 I’d tell him he’s not a chicken but we need the egg. 1.2662 0.04020 154 117 33 4
1603 Oh God, Henry's laid another egg. 1.2662 0.04020 154 117 33 4
1604 George is always hatching something. 1.2662 0.04020 154 117 33 4
1605 Sometimes I wish he were an egghead. 1.2662 0.04326 154 120 27 7
1606 I actually prefer when we had an empty nest. 1.2662 0.04226 154 119 29 6
1607 Who's the hen now? 1.2662 0.04125 154 118 31 5
1608 His idea of a retirement egg nest is different from others. 1.2662 0.04020 154 117 33 4
1609 Oh for heaven’s sake, Arthur, I’m sorry I called you broody. 1.2662 0.04226 154 119 29 6
1610 We said to get an ergonomic chair, not an eggonomic chair. 1.2662 0.04226 154 119 29 6
1611 Get off your nest egg Boomer! 1.2649 0.04378 151 118 26 7
1612 It's his nest egg. 1.2632 0.03931 152 115 34 3
1613 He's always considered himself a bit of an egghead. 1.2632 0.03931 152 115 34 3
1614 So the chair is actually “egg”onomic? 1.2632 0.04352 152 119 26 7
1615 We are hoping for a boy. 1.2632 0.04251 152 118 28 6
1616 I'm telling you, size matters. 1.2632 0.03931 152 115 34 3
1617 Don't make any sudden moves. He thinks you're a weasel. 1.2632 0.04352 152 119 26 7
1618 Harold has a highly developed nesting instinct. 1.2632 0.03931 152 115 34 3
1619 Which came first, Harold or the egg? 1.2632 0.04147 152 117 30 5
1620 Someone called him a dinosaur last week and he can't get over it. 1.2632 0.04251 152 118 28 6
1621 Honey, tell her about your table-to-farm movement. 1.2632 0.04041 152 116 32 4
1622 Did you really think this would help you get over your empty nest syndrome? 1.2632 0.03931 152 115 34 3
1623 First he was fretting; now he just broods. 1.2632 0.03819 152 114 36 2
1624 Side effects aside, our lovemaking has never been better. 1.2632 0.04352 152 119 26 7
1625 preparation H is completely useless. 1.2632 0.04147 152 117 30 5
1626 He'd rather fall and break his neck than spend a penny of his nest egg. 1.2632 0.04041 152 116 32 4
1627 Flown south for the winter again, has she? 1.2632 0.04352 152 119 26 7
1628 Not the man of my dreams, but a good provider. 1.2632 0.04251 152 118 28 6
1629 Could you warm my coffee next? 1.2632 0.03819 152 114 36 2
1630 And you should hear how he wants to feed it. 1.2632 0.04251 152 118 28 6
1631 All I said was “Go lay an egg.” Always so literal. 1.2632 0.04147 152 117 30 5
1632 Technically there's no benefit but look how much room we have on the couch 1.2632 0.04041 152 116 32 4
1633 Quit your whining. You’ve only been on there for nine minutes. 1.2632 0.04251 152 118 28 6
1634 It’s how he hatches a plan 1.2632 0.03931 152 115 34 3
1635 That's no way to grow your nest egg. 1.2632 0.03819 152 114 36 2
1636 Roger, what’s the end game? 1.2632 0.04147 152 117 30 5
1637 In fairness, he did warn me to stop calling him chicken. 1.2632 0.04147 152 117 30 5
1638 I said "ergonomic," Stan. 1.2632 0.04352 152 119 26 7
1639 Earl says a velociraptor will keep kids off the lawn. 1.2632 0.04147 152 117 30 5
1640 He's keeping dinner warm." 1.2632 0.04041 152 116 32 4
1641 I didn't realize hemorrhoids could get that big! 1.2632 0.04041 152 116 32 4
1642 Can you believe it? And he said they were “just friends.” 1.2632 0.04352 152 119 26 7
1643 Unfortunately, he doesn't get out enough to qualify for Free Range. 1.2632 0.04251 152 118 28 6
1644 Ronnie takes the 'nest egg' thing very seriously. 1.2632 0.04147 152 117 30 5
1645 It's a new 'furniture in to food' app. 1.2632 0.04147 152 117 30 5
1646 The problem is you did come first, George. 1.2632 0.04147 152 117 30 5
1647 Gary still says he can hatch it but I think it's his excuse for spending all day on his ass. 1.2632 0.04147 152 117 30 5
1648 Gerald and I just weren't meant to be empty nesters. 1.2632 0.04251 152 118 28 6
1649 The judge was an old friend so I asked that she tack it on to his community service 1.2632 0.03931 152 117 31 4
1650 I couldn't get a high horse 1.2632 0.04548 152 121 22 9
1651 Part of the #MeToo movement. 1.2614 0.04327 153 120 26 7
1652 We’re wait-listed at the 92nd Street Coop. 1.2600 0.04170 150 116 29 5
1653 I knew it was a mistake to marry somebody named Horton 1.2600 0.04379 150 118 25 7
1654 His name is Calvin, not Khalisi. 1.2600 0.04276 150 117 27 6
1655 You know who’s going to end up walking it, don’t you? 1.2600 0.04480 150 119 23 8
1656 I don't have the heart to tell him it's not fertilised. 1.2600 0.04579 150 120 21 9
1657 I kind of wish he’d just go back to being an egghead. 1.2600 0.04061 150 115 31 4
1658 My wife’s on a work trip this week. 1.2600 0.04480 150 119 23 8
1659 Try not to touch it. If it gets your scent he will reject it. 1.2600 0.04480 150 119 23 8
1660 Mel is so proud of his bowling trophy. 1.2600 0.04480 150 119 23 8
1661 Harvey's a fan of the Hatch Act. 1.2600 0.04276 150 117 27 6
1662 Hours before the well known “wall incident”. 1.2600 0.03949 150 116 30 4
1663 We waited this long because we didn't want a millenial. 1.2600 0.04061 150 115 31 4
1664 And to think they said we couldn't have kids past 40. 1.2600 0.04170 150 116 29 5
1665 We need to address the egg-lephant in the room. 1.2600 0.04061 150 115 31 4
1666 Have you thought of a name yet? 1.2600 0.03949 150 114 33 3
1667 Our financial advisor suggested he take a more active role in protecting our nest egg. 1.2600 0.04379 150 118 25 7
1668 When did Hen say she would be back? 1.2600 0.04170 150 116 29 5
1669 I'm guessing twins. 1.2600 0.04061 150 115 31 4
1670 yes, he thinks he's a penguin despite the lack of a tuxedo. 1.2600 0.04276 150 117 27 6
1671 …Yes, but I'm a little more concerned about what's inside 1.2600 0.04061 150 115 31 4
1672 You need better back support at your age. 1.2600 0.03834 150 113 35 2
1673 I don't have the heart to tell him it's unfertilized. 1.2600 0.04480 150 119 23 8
1674 Yeah but is it free-range organic? 1.2600 0.04061 150 115 31 4
1675 My Harold is always so proud of the kidney stones he passes naturally. 1.2600 0.04480 150 119 23 8
1676 It’s for his doctoral research in paleontology. 1.2600 0.03834 150 113 35 2
1677 He takes the task of monitoring our nest egg very seriously. 1.2600 0.04170 150 116 29 5
1678 Ok, what’s your exit strategy? 1.2600 0.04061 150 115 31 4
1679 We're a few weeks late. 1.2600 0.03949 150 114 33 3
1680 He agreed he wouldn't talk anymore about having a baby. 1.2600 0.04379 150 118 25 7
1681 We think it has something to do with rejection by his mother. 1.2600 0.04276 150 117 27 6
1682 He thinks it will catch on like the Bean Bag. Don't encourage him. 1.2600 0.04061 150 115 31 4
1683 He says the Christmas tree will have to go somewhere else this year. 1.2600 0.03949 150 114 33 3
1684 I refuse to buy the ladder when you have to buy it separately. 1.2600 0.03949 150 114 33 3
1685 Not so sure about beanbag chairs made by Millennials." 1.2600 0.03949 150 116 30 4
1686 I had this statue made in memory of my late husband who never managed to get off his assets! 1.2600 0.04579 150 120 21 9
1687 He came first... 1.2600 0.04061 150 115 31 4
1688 We find its the best way to control his flatulence. 1.2600 0.04061 150 120 24 6
1689 Dad, she did not say "Mother-clucker". 1.2600 0.04170 150 116 29 5
1690 He says he's a lifestyle influencer, I say he's sitting on an egg. 1.2600 0.04061 150 115 31 4
1691 It does wonders for my lower back pain. 1.2600 0.04170 150 116 29 5
1692 Another hatch it job. 1.2600 0.03834 150 113 35 2
1693 We’ve always shared parenting duties. 1.2600 0.03834 150 113 35 2
1694 Mom, you've been so wrong calling him an egghead. 1.2600 0.04276 150 117 27 6
1695 Did you get that at IKEA ? 1.2600 0.04276 150 117 27 6
1696 He just loved ‘March of the Penguins’. 1.2600 0.04379 150 118 25 7
1697 They are both hard boiled . Works well for them. 1.2600 0.04061 150 115 31 4
1698 He hasn't had such a great fall. We're hoping for a better winter. 1.2600 0.04276 150 117 27 6
1699 He says if women can run for president, he can hatch an egg. 1.2600 0.04170 150 116 29 5
1700 He is looking for the chance to be the father he never was while our children were growing up. 1.2600 0.04379 150 118 25 7
1701 I don't know which came first, Chuck or the egg. 1.2600 0.04061 150 115 31 4
1702 At least he doesn't wear the dinosaur costume anymore. 1.2600 0.04061 150 115 31 4
1703 Impressive ! Now can you get down without breaking it? 1.2600 0.04379 150 118 25 7
1704 He just wants to sit on our nest egg. I say let's eat it. 1.2600 0.04061 150 115 31 4
1705 Go ahead and take credit for that, too, Gary. 1.2600 0.04061 150 115 31 4
1706 Well, "I am the walrus". 1.2600 0.04276 150 117 27 6
1707 So....how's the in vitro fertilization going? 1.2600 0.04170 150 116 29 5
1708 He got pecked by a radioactive chicken.... 1.2600 0.04170 150 116 29 5
1709 I agreed to lay it if he would hatch it. 1.2600 0.04276 150 117 27 6
1710 Trust us, it's not all that its cracked up to be. 1.2600 0.04170 150 116 29 5
1711 Harold is an avid proponent of eggonomic seating. 1.2600 0.04276 150 117 27 6
1712 He was tired of being known as an egghead. 1.2600 0.04480 150 118 23 8
1713 He says he wants to know what it feels like to be a hat. 1.2600 0.04170 150 116 29 5
1714 Few people are aware that Charles Eames had a step-brother. 1.2600 0.04276 150 117 27 6
1715 What came first, Bob or his egg? 1.2600 0.04379 150 118 25 7
1716 The doctor says its an enlarged prostate. 1.2600 0.04170 150 116 29 5
1717 Even if it hatches in time it sure isn't going to fit in the oven 1.2600 0.04379 150 118 25 7
1718 What I can't figure out is how did he ever lay it? 1.2600 0.04276 150 117 27 6
1719 The most disturbing thing was how it just popped out of him. 1.2600 0.03949 150 114 33 3
1720 I've been waiting for Harold to hatch this big idea of his for decades. 1.2600 0.04061 150 115 31 4
1721 You should see the goose that laid this golden nest egg. 1.2600 0.04379 150 118 25 7
1722 He's hatching a really big idea. 1.2600 0.04170 150 116 29 5
1723 Never trust a fart... 1.2600 0.04480 150 119 23 8
1724 It's his mid-life crisis thing. 1.2600 0.04061 150 117 28 5
1725 He's been sitting up there ever since I told him he'd never understand the pain of pregnancy. 1.2600 0.03267 150 121 24 5
1726 Okay if it's not cage-free, at least it's local. 1.2600 0.04170 150 116 29 5
1727 The doctor says ice packs should help. 1.2600 0.04061 150 115 31 4
1728 In his senility he thinks he is hatching eaglets 1.2600 0.04116 150 118 26 6
1729 Ralph lost his trust in the banking system some years ago. 1.2600 0.04061 150 115 31 4
1730 You are not a dragon! 1.2600 0.04061 150 115 31 4
1731 When Herbert said he was bringing home our "nest egg," I thought he meant something completely different. 1.2600 0.04379 150 118 25 7
1732 What's his cholesterol like? 1.2600 0.04061 150 115 31 4
1733 nah, same old, same old 1.2600 0.04061 150 115 31 4
1734 He just couldn't stand being an empty nester. 1.2600 0.04276 150 117 27 6
1735 He always wanted a hatch back. 1.2600 0.04061 150 115 31 4
1736 He's free-range. 1.2600 0.04379 150 118 25 7
1737 We found this neat balance ball at Jurassic Park. 1.2600 0.04170 150 116 29 5
1738 I see what you mean-it does clash with the eggshell paint. 1.2600 0.04061 150 115 31 4
1739 Humpty Goldstein, get off of there right now! 1.2600 0.04223 150 118 24 7
1740 He was in the bathroom when the hypnotist brought everyone back. 1.2600 0.04061 150 115 31 4
1741 We made a rather contemporary decision. 1.2600 0.04276 150 117 27 6
1742 All these years, and I still can’t figure out how he keeps it balanced. 1.2600 0.04061 150 115 31 4
1743 He's working on building a sizable next egg for retirement. 1.2600 0.04379 150 118 25 7
1744 He's struggling with being an empty-nester. 1.2600 0.04276 150 117 27 6
1745 Your DNA Test is in, You are the Father 1.2600 0.04480 150 119 23 8
1746 It's our miracle child. 1.2600 0.04276 150 117 27 6
1747 I think it's time for me to stop calling him chicken all the time. 1.2600 0.04276 150 117 27 6
1748 As Marsha and Emma considered, it occurred to them that “Have you chosen a name yet?” was not their most pressing question. 1.2600 0.04170 150 116 29 5
1749 I told you we should have adopted! 1.2600 0.04061 150 115 31 4
1750 Hope you saved room for custard. 1.2585 0.04327 147 115 26 6
1751 Oh, don’t egg him on 1.2585 0.04218 147 114 28 5
1752 You really want to hatch that?" 1.2585 0.03991 147 112 32 3
1753 I told him to try a yoga ball, but he was too chicken. 1.2585 0.04218 147 114 28 5
1754 Still not a substitute for an IRA. 1.2585 0.04106 147 115 27 5
1755 Well, your husband really seems on the ball these days. 1.2585 0.03872 147 111 34 2
1756 He'll tell you it's a brontosaurus egg but it's really a speech bubble. 1.2585 0.04218 147 114 28 5
1757 I don't know how he did it, either. I can't get anything out of him. 1.2585 0.04106 147 113 30 4
1758 You should see the squash from our meal kit service. 1.2585 0.04537 147 117 22 8
1759 Fred is hatching a new idea. 1.2585 0.04106 147 113 30 4
1760 I can't decide. Scrambled or over easy. 1.2585 0.04433 147 116 24 7
1761 So that's what he meant by a nest egg. 1.2585 0.04433 147 116 24 7
1762 I told you she was no good, leaving him to take care of the egg all my himself! 1.2585 0.03872 147 114 30 3
1763 That reminds me--time to go upstairs and wring the children's necks. 1.2585 0.04218 147 114 28 5
1764 Its Humphrey not Humpty. 1.2585 0.03872 147 111 34 2
1765 Ignore him. He is going through a chicken phase. 1.2585 0.04327 147 115 26 6
1766 Only when I have company does he shows his nurturing side. 1.2585 0.04218 147 114 28 5
1767 How much did you say you make from egg sitting? 1.2585 0.03991 147 112 32 3
1768 It was this or yoga. 1.2585 0.03872 147 111 34 2
1769 He didn't want to be an empty nester. 1.2585 0.04218 147 114 28 5
1770 Call them 'big chicken' enough and they really take it to heart. 1.2585 0.04218 147 114 28 5
1771 Hatching a new idea certainly comes at a price 1.2585 0.04433 147 116 24 7
1772 Ten bucks you crack before it does. 1.2585 0.04106 147 113 30 4
1773 If that's your nest egg I'd be worried. 1.2585 0.03872 147 111 34 2
1774 Seems like they keep making it harder and harder to adopt. 1.2585 0.04218 147 114 28 5
1775 ... thinks he's hatching a Tyrannosaurus Rex, but he's a good egg even if his mind is kinda' scrammbled! 1.2585 0.03991 147 112 32 3
1776 It was better when we went to the beach and he put his head in the sand 1.2585 0.03991 147 112 32 3
1777 He's determined to make up for our "annual Thanksgiving massacre." 1.2585 0.04218 147 114 28 5
1778 Harold, you were mislaid. 1.2585 0.03872 147 111 34 2
1779 We sub-let from some guy who just flew the coop. 1.2585 0.04327 147 115 26 6
1780 When he flunked out of Wharton, he started setting up shell corporations. 1.2585 0.04106 147 113 30 4
1781 Frank likes his furniture to be "Keto" as well. 1.2585 0.03991 147 111 32 3
1782 If it hatches, I'll never hear the end of it. 1.2585 0.04327 147 115 26 6
1783 Geez Fred, don’t have a cow 1.2585 0.03991 147 112 32 3
1784 My first husband was only worth two in the bush. 1.2585 0.04433 147 116 24 7
1785 The chick will probably be an enormous loon, like it's father. 1.2585 0.04218 147 114 28 5
1786 How long is he planning to just sit on your nest egg? 1.2585 0.04327 147 115 26 6
1787 He's watched too many penguin movies. 1.2583 0.03927 151 120 25 6
1788 As I said, there's no end to Edward's hubris. 1.2552 0.04241 145 113 27 5
1789 I would describe our nest egg as solid, but not comfortable. 1.2552 0.04353 145 114 25 6
1790 Horton thinks it'll hatch any day; his next project is finding out where those tiny voices are coming from. 1.2552 0.04353 145 114 25 6
1791 Looks like a double-yolker. 1.2552 0.04127 145 112 29 4
1792 He’s grown quite attached. 1.2552 0.04241 145 113 27 5
1793 Mike discovered the joy of retirement: sitting on your nest egg. 1.2552 0.04127 145 112 29 4
1794 I see you're weening him off the incubator. 1.2552 0.04353 145 114 25 6
1795 He's been talking about his big idea since the'90s. It just hasn't hatched yet. 1.2552 0.04567 145 116 21 8
1796 You're too old to reproduce! 1.2552 0.04241 145 113 27 5
1797 It's his nest egg. He's says when it hatches, he's retiring. 1.2552 0.04127 145 112 29 4
1798 Howard has a tendency to brood. 1.2552 0.04461 145 115 23 7
1799 It gives him a sense of purpose 1.2552 0.04127 145 112 29 4
1800 He likes to feel tall. 1.2552 0.04127 145 112 29 4
1801 Jeez, that hemorrhoid of his has really gotten out of control. 1.2552 0.04127 145 112 29 4
1802 Free range is so last week 1.2552 0.04353 145 114 25 6
1803 He's been doing that ever since we announced I'm pregnant. 1.2552 0.04127 145 112 29 4
1804 He says this helps him get a bird's-eye view of the current political landscape. 1.2552 0.03698 145 110 31 2
1805 In retrospect,I should have asked why his nickname was "Benedict". 1.2552 0.04241 145 113 27 5
1806 I said poach, not perch. 1.2552 0.04241 145 113 27 5
1807 Take care with the nest egg that's community property. 1.2552 0.03763 145 113 27 4
1808 I’ll give you ten bucks if you tell us which came first? 1.2552 0.04353 145 114 25 6
1809 We’re only incubating for the tax write-off. 1.2552 0.04009 145 110 31 3
1810 Unfortunately, he came first. 1.2552 0.04241 145 113 27 5
1811 Henry...Come down off your damn dinosaur egg and join in the conversation! 1.2552 0.04009 145 113 28 4
1812 … well, I have to admit, he doesn't complain when it's his turn. 1.2552 0.04353 145 114 25 6
1813 He's hoping it hatches before Thanksgiving. 1.2552 0.03763 145 109 35 1
1814 It's the new fad--male surrogacy. 1.2552 0.04127 145 112 29 4
1815 Big Bird called, he wants his egg back. 1.2552 0.04353 145 114 25 6
1816 Okay Humpty, what's your next move? 1.2552 0.04461 145 115 23 7
1817 He is in his brooding mood. 1.2552 0.04009 145 111 31 3
1818 This was not what we were expecting when we volunteered to be pet foster parents. 1.2552 0.04127 145 112 29 4
1819 If all the kings’ horses and all the kings’ men couldn’t help, don’t expect me to. 1.2552 0.04353 145 114 25 6
1820 I'd be more concerned if I still cared. 1.2552 0.04353 145 114 25 6
1821 No, I haven't seen Jurassic Park. 1.2552 0.04009 145 111 31 3
1822 He says it's his nest egg 1.2552 0.04353 145 114 25 6
1823 Ever since the whistleblower, he's been worried about the Hatch Act. 1.2552 0.04567 145 116 21 8
1824 And to think no one told you swallowing gum is bad for you. 1.2552 0.04241 145 113 27 5
1825 Ed has always nurtured a huge sense of entitlement. 1.2552 0.04241 145 113 27 5
1826 There you sit---like some king on top of his white privilege! 1.2552 0.04127 145 112 29 4
1827 Turns out our little nest egg is just an overstuffed bean bag chair. 1.2552 0.04353 145 114 25 6
1828 It's not the first egg Fred has ever laid. 1.2552 0.04461 145 115 23 7
1829 Why did we agree to foster a dragon 1.2552 0.04567 145 116 21 8
1830 He says he’s exercising. 1.2552 0.04461 145 115 23 7
1831 He never came out of his shell until recently. 1.2552 0.04241 145 113 27 5
1832 He just retired to focus on growing our nest egg. 1.2552 0.04241 145 113 27 5
1833 It’s a “Therapy Pillow” to treat his fear of heights and high cholesterol. 1.2552 0.04241 145 113 27 5
1834 If he sneezes it's scrambled. 1.2552 0.04127 145 112 29 4
1835 It's from IKEA--he wanted it, so he has to sit on it! 1.2552 0.04567 145 116 21 8
1836 I don't know how he does it but that's the second 1.2552 0.04241 145 113 27 5
1837 He's not comfortable with anyone else keeping our nest egg secure." 1.2552 0.04461 145 115 23 7
1838 Gee, Edna, this isn't what I thought you meant when you told me that Herb just laid an egg. 1.2552 0.04009 145 111 31 3
1839 I keep telling him it's nothing like childbirth. 1.2552 0.04461 145 115 23 7
1840 It's all because I'm not the spring chicken I used to be. 1.2552 0.04241 145 113 27 5
1841 They lanced it and it grew right back. 1.2552 0.04241 145 113 27 5
1842 It's nice to see a man doing women's work for once. 1.2552 0.04353 145 114 25 6
1843 George is going through a midwife crisis. 1.2552 0.04353 145 114 25 6
1844 I told you he's henpecked. 1.2552 0.04353 145 114 25 6
1845 It's new from IKEA: The Chegg. 1.2552 0.04671 145 117 19 9
1846 His spirit-animal is a penguin. 1.2552 0.04773 145 118 17 10
1847 He still doesn't get that's not how babies are born. 1.2552 0.04567 145 116 21 8
1848 Our investment counselor says we could retire; we have a sizeable nest egg. 1.2552 0.04127 145 112 29 4
1849 His therapist says it’s the Humpty Dumpty phase 1.2552 0.04241 145 113 27 5
1850 If it's twins, we each get one. 1.2552 0.03888 145 110 33 2
1851 It’s an idea he’s working on. 1.2552 0.04461 145 115 23 7
1852 It brings out his nurturing instincts. 1.2552 0.04241 145 113 27 5
1853 His financial adviser told him to sit on it. 1.2552 0.04009 145 111 31 3
1854 I'm tired of asking him to get that thing lanced. 1.2552 0.04872 145 119 15 11
1855 The fertility clinic said our egg comes with one male donor. 1.2552 0.04241 145 113 27 5
1856 You told me he had big balls 1.2552 0.04567 145 116 21 8
1857 Whose next? 1.2552 0.04241 145 113 27 5
1858 I wanted to get a puppy but he insisted on a bird. 1.2552 0.04241 145 113 27 5
1859 Every time he tells that joke he lays an egg. 1.2552 0.04671 145 117 19 9
1860 I don't know where he got it from, but I can't wait until he hatches it. 1.2552 0.04127 145 112 29 4
1861 I just hope it doesn't have us for breakfast. 1.2552 0.04567 145 116 21 8
1862 Sorry, Andrew is going through a postmodern phase. 1.2552 0.04241 145 113 27 5
1863 Hey Freak, what are you up Tonight? 1.2552 0.04009 145 111 31 3
1864 What growth? 1.2552 0.04241 145 113 27 5
1865 Yeah, he's real proud of that kidney stone. 1.2552 0.04567 145 116 21 8
1866 This began as a paleontology project but has become obsession. 1.2552 0.04461 145 113 23 7
1867 I want to celebrate you for this." 1.2552 0.04461 145 115 23 7
1868 He claims its hemorroids. 1.2552 0.04241 145 113 27 5
1869 Every part of that yoga ball has touched his ass. 1.2552 0.04461 145 115 23 7
1870 It's been like this since that damn cuckoo came around. 1.2552 0.04241 145 113 27 5
1871 Egg? My no. Leonard has world class hemorrhoids. He's in 14 text books. 1.2552 0.04353 145 114 25 6
1872 why cant he invest his nest egg like everybody else? 1.2552 0.04127 145 112 29 4
1873 I'd hate to see the size of that chicken. 1.2552 0.04127 145 112 29 4
1874 Bob always planned to manage his own nest egg after he retired 1.2552 0.04009 145 111 31 3
1875 His wife's been egging him on again. 1.2552 0.04127 145 114 26 5
1876 Edgar has grown our IRA nest egg rather well 1.2552 0.04127 145 112 29 4
1877 When I said I wanted to have a "nest egg" to retire with, this isn't what I meant. 1.2552 0.04241 145 113 27 5
1878 He's not much, but he's always on the ball. 1.2552 0.04353 145 114 25 6
1879 It's not going to hatch, no matter how long you sit on it. 1.2552 0.04241 145 113 27 5
1880 He’s keeping our nest egg safe. 1.2552 0.04009 145 111 31 3
1881 Phil says that with retirement around the corner we can't be too careful with our nest egg. 1.2552 0.03633 145 108 37 0
1882 I'm knitting him a nest to go with his egg. 1.2552 0.04127 145 112 29 4
1883 What kind of plot is he hatching now? 1.2552 0.04353 145 114 25 6
1884 Egg-o-nomic is not going to catch on, Harvey. 1.2552 0.04127 145 112 29 4
1885 I told you to stop egging him on. 1.2552 0.04127 145 112 29 4
1886 I think it was Pottery Barn or Coops To Go. 1.2552 0.04567 145 116 21 8
1887 Let me guess—Bill went shopping in the Skymall catalog again? 1.2552 0.04461 145 115 23 7
1888 When we met Lloyd assured me that he was sitting on a nest egg for us. 1.2552 0.04009 145 114 27 4
1889 He said it’s even safer than sitting on a wall. 1.2552 0.04241 145 113 27 5
1890 Harold laid a big one this time, and there's no getting around it 1.2552 0.04567 145 116 21 8
1891 He always has had a strong mothering instinct. 1.2552 0.04461 145 115 23 7
1892 So he thinks he’s on the ball... 1.2552 0.04127 145 112 29 4
1893 I haven't had back pain since I started sitting on this egg. 1.2552 0.04241 145 113 27 5
1894 Hey, Trumpty-Dumpty, where's your wall? 1.2552 0.04353 145 114 25 6
1895 He’s just having a really hard time with the empty nest. 1.2552 0.04127 145 112 29 4
1896 George found it on our visit to Jurassic Park. 1.2552 0.04461 145 115 23 7
1897 You better not get any shell on the carpet. 1.2552 0.04461 145 115 23 7
1898 He mistook bubblegum for his laxative 1.2552 0.04127 145 112 29 4
1899 It’s weird, because the egg came before the guy. 1.2552 0.04567 145 116 21 8
1900 We know we can't be its Forever Home, but Jeffery and I feel we need to do what we can for the species. 1.2552 0.04241 145 113 27 5
1901 Yes, Walter HAS hinted that he's hatching a plan to leave me. 1.2552 0.04241 145 113 27 5
1902 You still don't understand what it's like to be a woman giving birth. 1.2552 0.04127 145 112 29 4
1903 Harold took our nest egg out of the market. 1.2552 0.04241 145 113 27 5
1904 Walter is obsessed with protecting our nest egg! 1.2552 0.04127 145 112 29 4
1905 He thinks we'll be able to retire any day now. 1.2552 0.03888 145 110 33 2
1906 Murray doesn't believe in incubators. 1.2552 0.04353 145 114 25 6
1907 Ever since ‘Game of Thrones’ ended, Tom has been obsessed with being the ‘Father of Dragons’. 1.2552 0.04241 145 113 27 5
1908 Thank goodness this is a chicken co-op. 1.2552 0.04241 145 113 27 5
1909 The life of a single father is hard. 1.2552 0.04241 145 113 27 5
1910 It’s for his core. 1.2552 0.04127 145 112 29 4
1911 The best-laid plans go awry. 1.2537 0.04196 134 103 28 3
1912 Just sit on it for nine months and see how you feel. 1.2537 0.04455 134 105 24 5
1913 This is why our lawn looks so bad. 1.2534 0.04326 146 115 25 6
1914 I’m letting him live out his babysitter fantasy. 1.2517 0.04148 143 111 28 4
1915 He acts like he’ s on top of the world. 1.2517 0.03903 143 109 32 2
1916 He kept complaining that the butterfly chair was too hard to get out of. 1.2517 0.04148 143 111 28 4
1917 Charles has become a bit Egg-Centric of late”. 1.2517 0.04265 143 112 26 5
1918 He’s determined to be more helpful with household duties. 1.2517 0.04027 143 115 22 5
1919 He insists it is ours but I heard the cuckoo calling. 1.2517 0.04265 143 112 26 5
1920 He said in his PhD dissertation this would hatch within two years...that was 34 years ago. 1.2517 0.04265 143 112 26 5
1921 They say it’s good for the core 1.2517 0.04148 143 111 28 4
1922 James thinks that he was a penguin in a past life. 1.2517 0.04598 143 115 20 8
1923 He's been binge-watching Nature on PBS. 1.2517 0.04027 143 110 30 3
1924 He's still trying to settle the age-old dilemma of which came first, the chicken or--you know--and swears this dropped in from Mars. I think I've got a solid case for locking him up finally. You call them on your phone, cuz he's watching me. 1.2517 0.04808 143 117 16 10
1925 For some reason, he wants me to call him Horton. 1.2517 0.03903 143 111 29 3
1926 Abner is a stay at home Dad 1.2517 0.04027 143 110 30 3
1927 “Bird-witted in deed.” 1.2517 0.04148 143 111 28 4
1928 Harold takes being a feminist ally very seriously. 1.2517 0.04148 143 111 28 4
1929 Hope you fall over easy on that thing Henry. 1.2517 0.04148 143 111 28 4
1930 He keeps insisting he is hatching an idea to make us rich. 1.2517 0.04027 143 110 30 3
1931 He’s always had maternal instincts. 1.2517 0.04027 143 110 30 3
1932 I do the night shift 1.2517 0.04379 143 113 24 6
1933 What can I say? I married a schmuck. 1.2517 0.04265 143 112 26 5
1934 His doctor told him to exercise more so he borrowed our son's exercise ball. Too bad he doesn't know how to use it. 1.2517 0.04490 143 114 22 7
1935 You should have seen him BEFORE the orchiectomy. 1.2517 0.04379 143 113 24 6
1936 The worst part is when he goes to the bathroom on the windshield. 1.2517 0.04265 143 112 26 5
1937 He's protecting our nest egg from bad hombres. 1.2517 0.04265 143 112 26 5
1938 It's good for his posture. 1.2517 0.03903 143 109 32 2
1939 Please don’t egg him on. 1.2517 0.04265 143 112 26 5
1940 He is on a roll! 1.2517 0.04027 143 110 30 3
1941 Don't tell me you ran out of hemorrhoid cream already. 1.2517 0.04379 143 113 24 6
1942 I tell him he's not a penguin, but he still thinks this will get him out of doing his share of house keeping. 1.2517 0.04148 143 111 28 4
1943 He got it online now he’s convinced he’s going to be the father of dragons 1.2517 0.04148 143 111 28 4
1944 Al's afraid of going the doctor because it might be a hemorrhoid. 1.2517 0.04379 143 113 24 6
1945 You call that a nest? 1.2517 0.04379 143 113 24 6
1946 His proctologist warned him six months ago to have it removed. 1.2517 0.04490 143 114 22 7
1947 You're no Horton, Fred. 1.2517 0.04027 143 110 30 3
1948 He was the winner at his company for the biggest blunder of the year. 1.2517 0.04265 143 112 26 5
1949 See, I told you he was an egghead. 1.2517 0.04490 143 114 22 7
1950 At least it doesn’t require surgery like last year’s kangaroo fantasy. 1.2517 0.04490 143 114 22 7
1951 Herb's been hatching a new retirement plan. 1.2517 0.04265 143 112 26 5
1952 This one is from "egg of the year" club. 1.2517 0.03903 143 109 32 2
1953 He says it’s a Dragon Egg and that he is Father of Dragons? 1.2517 0.03903 143 109 32 2
1954 The egg came first, we don't know what's next. 1.2517 0.04265 143 112 26 5
1955 I don't know Ethel, is this really better than that old recliner? 1.2517 0.04027 143 110 30 3
1956 I hope that's not your retirement nest egg. 1.2517 0.04148 143 111 28 4
1957 Looks like more than one bird for Thanksgiving. 1.2517 0.04490 143 114 22 7
1958 Is it poaching season? 1.2517 0.04148 143 111 28 4
1959 Forty two day incubation period is Harold’s latest excuse not to go out. 1.2517 0.04265 143 112 26 5
1960 I get it. You're hatching some grand scheme! 1.2517 0.04379 143 113 24 6
1961 Virgil’s bean bag has taken on a life of its own. 1.2517 0.04379 143 113 24 6
1962 Fred laid another egg. 1.2517 0.04265 143 112 26 5
1963 No, trust me he does find it comfortable 1.2517 0.04379 143 113 24 6
1964 That's our nest egg. Henry doesn't believe in banks. 1.2517 0.03775 143 108 34 1
1965 Sweetie, On the Ball is just an expression, an idiom, as some might say. 1.2517 0.03775 143 108 34 1
1966 I asked for a yoga ball. 1.2517 0.04027 143 110 30 3
1967 It's the plot for his next novel, but it hasn't fully developed yet. 1.2517 0.04027 143 112 27 4
1968 He just couldn't get out of the old bean bag chair anymore. 1.2517 0.04490 143 114 22 7
1969 Let’s hatch a plan for dinner 1.2517 0.03775 143 108 34 1
1970 He says he's henpecked. 1.2517 0.04148 143 111 28 4
1971 Alpha male booster ball .Only $9.99 1.2517 0.04265 143 112 26 5
1972 That's nice Harold, but you should really get a job. 1.2517 0.04379 143 113 24 6
1973 I hope you want chicken for dinner. 1.2517 0.04027 143 110 30 3
1974 It's a plot. 1.2517 0.04490 143 114 22 7
1975 To tell you the truth, I'm getting sick of omelettes. 1.2517 0.04379 143 113 24 6
1976 This is his excuse for not taking me out to dinner. 1.2517 0.04265 143 112 26 5
1977 You should have heard him scream when he laid that thing! 1.2517 0.04490 143 114 22 7
1978 His financial advisor told him they could hatch a plan to get rich. 1.2517 0.04265 143 112 26 5
1979 Stanley, get back in your shell. 1.2517 0.04027 143 110 30 3
1980 You look ridiculous, Roman! 1.2517 0.04490 143 113 22 7
1981 Have you picked out a name yet, or are you going to wait until it hatches? 1.2517 0.04265 143 115 22 6
1982 I always knew you were a chicken. 1.2517 0.04265 143 112 26 5
1983 It's all about the Egg-secution 1.2517 0.03903 143 109 32 2
1984 Those are only $5 at Costco! 1.2517 0.03903 143 109 32 2
1985 Something looks off about that love seat 1.2517 0.04490 143 114 22 7
1986 We used the other eleven eggs to make a really big omelet 1.2517 0.04490 143 114 22 7
1987 It's a Stability Egg. 1.2517 0.04148 143 111 28 4
1988 Better than under our mattress, I tell you. 1.2517 0.04027 143 110 30 3
1989 Frank has lost his IKEA privileges. 1.2517 0.04265 143 114 23 6
1990 Just because it's 'modern' doesn't mean it's not 'stupid'. 1.2517 0.04265 143 112 26 5
1991 I’m shocked that he’s even heard of cultural appropriation. 1.2517 0.03903 143 109 32 2
1992 This way Jack can really be a part of the whole pregnancy. 1.2517 0.03642 143 110 32 1
1993 I egg him on because we are empty nesters. 1.2500 0.04433 140 111 23 6
1994 We’re going public, Ruth. It’s called WeSit. It’s an incubator and a startup without footage or overhead. 1.2500 0.04195 140 109 27 4
1995 Well lets just hope it does not take after him 1.2500 0.04195 140 109 27 4
1996 Jim uses it to cope with the big empty nest. 1.2500 0.03943 140 107 31 2
1997 Who knows what plan he is hatching now. 1.2500 0.04316 140 110 25 5
1998 He just won't listen—the latest research suggests coddling. 1.2500 0.04071 140 108 29 3
1999 He wants to crack a yoke. 1.2500 0.04316 140 110 25 5
2000 Quit your laying around, George. 1.2500 0.04195 140 109 27 4
2001 Now he’ll only eat what he can hatch. 1.2500 0.03943 140 107 31 2
2002 He saw March of the penguins last night 1.2500 0.04316 140 110 25 5
2003 Just think how I used to be so afraid he'd fly the coop. 1.2500 0.04071 140 108 29 3
2004 He says it's his triumph of hope over the tyranny of despair. I say he doesn't want to clean the cat's litter box. 1.2500 0.04660 140 113 19 8
2005 He's just making himself useful . 1.2500 0.04316 140 110 25 5
2006 So they sold him a fake Egg Chair? 1.2500 0.04433 140 111 23 6
2007 I always said he was a chicken. 1.2500 0.04195 140 109 27 4
2008 It’s solid jade from the Ming dynasty and it vibrates. 1.2500 0.04195 140 109 27 4
2009 It's the latest in eggonomic design. 1.2500 0.03810 140 106 33 1
2010 He says it's our nest egg but I had to get rid of the nest. 1.2500 0.04071 140 108 29 3
2011 All I said was, let's make a frittata for the brunch on Sunday 1.2500 0.03943 140 107 31 2
2012 It use to be our nest egg. Now its' filled with empty dreams. 1.2500 0.04433 140 111 23 6
2013 How much longer is the new chair on layaway? 1.2500 0.04316 140 110 25 5
2014 Bird or reptile? As long as it’s healthy we will be happy. 1.2500 0.04316 140 110 25 5
2015 Harry’s trying to hatch his latest invention. 1.2500 0.04433 140 111 23 6
2016 Isn't a pile that big painful? 1.2500 0.04195 140 109 27 4
2017 That look a lot like my egg!! 1.2500 0.03943 140 107 31 2
2018 No, really...it's the latest thing in furniture design! 1.2500 0.04433 140 111 23 6
2019 I didn't need another egg but the man came with it. 1.2500 0.04548 140 112 21 7
2020 Dad, that's not as intimidating as you think. 1.2500 0.04071 140 108 29 3
2021 A baby T-Rex is troubling enough, but it's his gender fluidity that really took me aback. 1.2500 0.04433 140 111 23 6
2022 He is trying to become “Father of Dragons”. 1.2500 0.04195 140 109 27 4
2023 You think this is big? You should have seen the chicken. 1.2500 0.04195 140 109 27 4
2024 Overdoing it as usual,Humpty? 1.2500 0.04195 140 109 27 4
2025 Well truthfully, I didn't think the treatment for his empty nest syndrome would be so literal 1.2500 0.04433 140 111 23 6
2026 It's his new fancy chair for hatching ideas 1.2500 0.04433 140 111 23 6
2027 His therapist claims it will help with his irritable bowel syndrome. 1.2500 0.04195 140 109 27 4
2028 But, Gary, you have to let it go! It's a Secret Santa present for Daenerys! 1.2500 0.04316 140 110 25 5
2029 Ever since Ancestry.com told him he was related to Humpty Dumpty... 1.2500 0.04195 140 109 27 4
2030 His therapist thought it would get him in touch with his feminine side. 1.2500 0.03943 140 107 31 2
2031 The ads said it'll hatch him a sex drive and purpose in life. 1.2500 0.04195 140 109 27 4
2032 What do you think of my new live installation work? I’m calling it “Tiresome and Useless” 1.2500 0.04660 140 113 19 8
2033 I told you to stop swallowing your gum. 1.2500 0.04316 140 110 25 5
2034 They are pregnant. 1.2500 0.04195 140 109 27 4
2035 Booby. Hatching. 1.2500 0.03943 140 107 31 2
2036 I say we make an omelette, but Harold wants to incubate it. 1.2500 0.04316 140 110 25 5
2037 We're canceling the gender-reveal party so we can focus on finding hiding places. 1.2500 0.04316 140 110 25 5
2038 \He has OCD about his nest egg. 1.2500 0.04071 140 108 29 3
2039 I'm tired of always being on the edge of my seat. 1.2500 0.04195 140 109 27 4
2040 Foreplay is different for every couple. 1.2500 0.04660 140 113 19 8
2041 He does this when he's hungry! 1.2500 0.03602 140 112 24 4
2042 He’s always on the ball. 1.2500 0.04195 140 109 27 4
2043 Forget the bubble. I’m more impressed with the chewing. 1.2500 0.04316 140 110 25 5
2044 He's done this ever since our youngest left for college. 1.2500 0.04195 140 109 27 4
2045 Design Within Reach? 1.2500 0.04195 140 109 27 4
2046 He says it helps him meditate... 1.2500 0.04316 140 110 25 5
2047 He's always had big plans that never hatch. 1.2500 0.03943 140 107 31 2
2048 He’s protecting our nest egg and it soothes his hemorrhoids. 1.2500 0.04071 140 108 29 3
2049 I’ll order our marriage ‘over easy.’ 1.2500 0.03943 140 107 31 2
2050 Do you want to stay for dinner? The chicken we cooked could feed a village. 1.2500 0.04548 140 112 21 7
2051 That’s the way to lay an egg. 1.2500 0.04071 140 108 29 3
2052 It's good for his back. 1.2500 0.04316 140 110 25 5
2053 That's actually a very unique and expensive piece by Damien Hirst I acquired in the mid 90s -CAN YOU NOT SIT ON IT GRAHAM?! 1.2500 0.04433 140 111 23 6
2054 Yeah, pretty good. Yourself? 1.2500 0.04548 140 112 21 7
2055 Hopefully, a turkey will come out before 2020 Thanksgiving 1.2500 0.04433 140 111 23 6
2056 So, remind me the mothers' species again? 1.2500 0.04433 140 111 23 6
2057 What did I tell you about incubating in the living room? 1.2500 0.04195 140 109 27 4
2058 Ever since Dave went to that meditation class he's cairried that thing around everywhere. 1.2500 0.04195 140 109 27 4
2059 Herb, I know you are out of work, but I think you can find a better way to pass the time. 1.2500 0.04195 140 109 27 4
2060 Don’t coddle him. 1.2500 0.03943 140 107 31 2
2061 Well what are you going to sit on after breakfast? 1.2500 0.04195 140 109 27 4
2062 I've told him to see a doctor, but he says he's comfortable living with it. 1.2500 0.04195 140 109 27 4
2063 Frank likes his 3 minute eggs just so. 1.2500 0.04071 140 108 29 3
2064 He refuses to get his Hemorrhoid checked. 1.2500 0.04548 140 112 21 7
2065 After our cruise to Antarctica, Howard decided to help out more. 1.2500 0.04071 140 108 29 3
2066 In a couple of weeks we're having a gender reveal party -- not for the egg but for Albert. 1.2500 0.04433 140 111 23 6
2067 Is there a yolk to this? 1.2500 0.04071 140 108 29 3
2068 We will take turns if it's taking time to hatch. 1.2500 0.04316 140 109 25 5
2069 What is it?" "A yoga egg...he can't seem to get it patented. 1.2500 0.03943 140 107 31 2
2070 My husband Lenny insists on ruling the roost. 1.2500 0.04195 140 109 27 4
2071 It's his idea of our retirement nest egg. 1.2500 0.04195 140 109 27 4
2072 I think he's having an affair with a chicken. 1.2500 0.04071 140 108 29 3
2073 All he needed to hear was "just pay for shipping and handling" 1.2500 0.04316 140 110 25 5
2074 It's just a loaner until we get the crack fixed in the old one. 1.2500 0.04769 140 114 17 9
2075 You insist it's infertile yet you continue to sit on it. 1.2500 0.04316 140 110 25 5
2076 Are you sure your Christmas turkey will be the biggest this year?" 1.2500 0.04433 140 111 23 6
2077 He’s brooding because he paid too much for it. 1.2500 0.03943 140 107 31 2
2078 Lenny thinks he deserves a medal for being a stay at home dad, but all he does is sit around all day. 1.2500 0.04433 140 111 23 6
2079 I asked him for a decision three years ago and he said that he would sit on it. He's been there ever since. 1.2500 0.04548 140 112 21 7
2080 I thought i heard you! 1.2500 0.04071 140 108 29 3
2081 He can't accept that we're empty nesters." 1.2500 0.03943 140 107 31 2
2082 Well thats one way to capture natural gas. 1.2500 0.04071 140 108 29 3
2083 Cheap bastard has never chipped into his nest egg, not once. Here I am at the end of my years and get Cracker Barrel on our anniversary? I'm gonna kill the deaf bastard Elsie, and your gonna help me, then we're gonna take that fuckin thing 1.2500 0.04316 140 110 25 5
2084 I still don't know which came first- the senility or the egg. 1.2500 0.04195 140 109 27 4
2085 Hold on, I think he's searching for the button to make it vibrate. 1.2500 0.04548 140 112 21 7
2086 He claims his chair is egg-onomic. 1.2500 0.04134 140 111 24 5
2087 I love this chair but it only works on the spring equinox 1.2500 0.04195 140 109 27 4
2088 George is just hatching another bad idea. 1.2500 0.03943 140 107 31 2
2089 I always thought your bro Meredith was part Penguin. He cried all through Happy Feet. 1.2500 0.04071 140 113 21 6
2090 He figures it's the safest way to guard our nest egg 1.2500 0.04316 140 110 25 5
2091 I don't know which of us is going to crack up first 1.2500 0.04433 140 111 23 6
2092 Don’t you think you’re carrying this empty-nester thing too far? 1.2482 0.03983 137 105 30 2
2093 He loves to brag that he’s living on his nest egg 1.2481 0.04323 133 104 25 4
2094 No, we can’t just roll with it. 1.2481 0.04051 133 102 29 2
2095 honestly! all these years I thought a nest egg was money 1.2481 0.04453 133 105 23 5
2096 I don't know why he's doing that. He couldn't even hatch an idea. 1.2481 0.04453 133 105 23 5
2097 It's more comfortable than it looks. 1.2464 0.04090 138 107 28 3
2098 Well, he's not quite faithful 100 percent... 1.2464 0.04090 138 107 28 3
2099 Neighbors buy them right away but once in a while he holds on one of them for a day or two. 1.2464 0.03958 138 106 30 2
2100 We're always fighting about it. I want a mega omelette; he wants mega nuggets. 1.2464 0.04341 138 109 24 5
2101 Harold's been brooding like that since I told him he read the instruction wrong. 1.2464 0.04461 138 110 22 6
2102 This eggistential crisis had him feeling shell-shocked. 1.2464 0.04090 138 107 28 3
2103 I thought it'd make a great omelet, but No, he had a better idea. 1.2464 0.04090 138 107 28 3
2104 Well, it'll never hatch if you sit like that. 1.2464 0.04217 138 108 26 4
2105 Well just where is this mayzie bird then, huh? 1.2464 0.03958 138 105 30 2
2106 And is he always that eggocentric? 1.2464 0.04217 138 108 26 4
2107 They’re both pickled. 1.2464 0.04341 138 109 24 5
2108 You can’t keep blaming that smell on the dog, Harold.” 1.2464 0.04341 138 109 24 5
2109 Well, yes. We’ve been wanting a child for a very long time. 1.2464 0.04341 138 109 24 5
2110 He's hoping to clone himself 1.2464 0.04217 138 108 26 4
2111 The kids left us with an empty nest, and he can't stop brooding on it. 1.2464 0.04461 138 110 22 6
2112 He says he won't come down until I call him "Your Eggcelency" like I mean it. 1.2464 0.04341 138 109 24 5
2113 The doctor says it's the best way to deal with empty nest syndrome. 1.2464 0.04217 138 108 26 4
2114 He was torn between joining a startup or an incubator, so... 1.2464 0.04217 138 108 26 4
2115 You know it's not a real egg, right? 1.2464 0.04341 138 109 24 5
2116 Don't worry, we have no intention in poaching on your territory. 1.2464 0.04217 138 108 26 4
2117 He’s about to crack. 1.2464 0.04217 138 108 26 4
2118 Hubert; are you trying to lose your federal job? There are no exceptions to the Hatch Act! 1.2464 0.04217 138 108 26 4
2119 It’s his favorite chair. 1.2464 0.04461 138 110 22 6
2120 He kept asking me what he should do with the egg and I finally told him. 1.2464 0.04341 138 109 24 5
2121 I should have left him years ago, but I need the eggs. 1.2464 0.04341 138 109 24 5
2122 Herb’s commitment to gender equity is unassailable. 1.2464 0.03958 138 106 30 2
2123 He spoke to our financial advisor on the phone. Now he just keeps repeating, “Read the transcript. It was a perfect call”. 1.2464 0.04341 138 109 24 5
2124 If that ever blows...we're in trouble. 1.2464 0.04217 138 108 26 4
2125 Push me. I dare ya! 1.2464 0.04461 138 110 22 6
2126 The nesting instinct has always been strong in Wilbur's family. 1.2464 0.04217 138 108 26 4
2127 He likes to keep an eye on our nest egg. 1.2464 0.04217 138 108 26 4
2128 Hey listen, it was 75% off. 1.2464 0.04461 138 110 22 6
2129 Don't ask me how he got up there... 1.2464 0.03958 138 106 30 2
2130 Well, I’ll say this for Horton, he’s faithful. 1.2464 0.04217 138 108 26 4
2131 I can't wait to see what Harry's going to hatch this time. 1.2464 0.04217 138 108 26 4
2132 He always starts brooding every time our Janey goes back to college. 1.2464 0.03958 138 106 30 2
2133 He got it in Ecuador. 1.2464 0.04217 138 108 26 4
2134 I believe he is trying to tell us something but isn't it supposed to be *walking* on egg shells?! 1.2464 0.04217 138 108 26 4
2135 They said surgery's not an option ... 1.2464 0.04341 138 109 24 5
2136 Well, I better get rollin' on breakfast. 1.2464 0.04090 138 107 28 3
2137 If it hatches, I won’t let him keep it in the house. 1.2464 0.04461 138 110 22 6
2138 His financial advisor told him he needed a bigger nest egg. 1.2464 0.04090 138 107 28 3
2139 I'm checking to see if Ed is faithful, 100%. 1.2464 0.04341 138 109 24 5
2140 The egg was here first. 1.2464 0.03958 138 106 30 2
2141 One thing about George, he's always on the ball! 1.2464 0.03958 138 106 30 2
2142 Our kids left us with an empty nest. But not for long. 1.2464 0.04090 138 107 28 3
2143 We only know it's gonna be really cuddly or very deadly. 1.2464 0.04578 138 111 20 7
2144 We know we're a little old to adopt, but at least it'll be fully grown by the time it arrives. 1.2464 0.04578 138 111 20 7
2145 It's about time men took over that task! 1.2464 0.04341 138 109 24 5
2146 It's cheaper than a surrogate ! 1.2464 0.04341 138 109 24 5
2147 Marge, get the big frying pan. We're gonna make a hell of an omelet! And George, start working on another one. We can feed the neighbors too. 1.2464 0.03958 138 106 30 2
2148 In vitro fertilization didn't work. 1.2464 0.04578 138 111 20 7
2149 Well, he certainly is no egghead. 1.2464 0.04341 138 109 24 5
2150 The salesman said its Drogon's cousin. 1.2464 0.03958 138 106 30 2
2151 The Emu promised Jim she'll be back before it hatches 1.2464 0.04341 138 109 24 5
2152 He read The Egg And I, and the rest is history. 1.2464 0.04578 138 111 20 7
2153 He got it at “GOOP”. Apparently everyone in Hollywood has one. 1.2464 0.04090 138 107 28 3
2154 Obviously, Charlie wasn’t really listening when our financial advisor talked about a nest egg. 1.2464 0.04341 138 109 24 5
2155 Okay, Frank. What kind of plan are you hatching this time? 1.2464 0.03958 138 106 30 2
2156 How long before it hatches? 1.2464 0.03958 138 106 30 2
2157 He says he just found it. 1.2464 0.04341 138 109 24 5
2158 That's what happens when you never leave the nest 1.2464 0.04341 138 109 24 5
2159 I guess that will be this year Thanksgiving dinner? 1.2464 0.04461 138 110 22 6
2160 Bob wanted a really big, from-scratch Thanksgiving this year. 1.2464 0.04341 138 109 24 5
2161 Frank is afraid our nest egg will crack open and nothing will be inside. 1.2464 0.04341 138 109 24 5
2162 Eggzactly what is he trying to prove? 1.2464 0.04461 138 110 22 6
2163 He’s trying to get our nest egg to hatch so we can retire. 1.2464 0.04341 138 109 24 5
2164 Don't be intimidated; we got it to help with his hemorrhoids. 1.2464 0.04217 138 108 26 4
2165 Egg chairs are the future. 1.2464 0.03958 138 106 30 2
2166 I'm just trying to understand the whole 'ovulation' thing. 1.2464 0.04090 138 107 28 3
2167 He saw it in House Beautiful. 1.2464 0.04578 138 111 20 7
2168 Our new bean bag chair only reacts to “hot air.“ 1.2464 0.04217 138 108 26 4
2169 Never knew anyone with a bigger nest egg. 1.2464 0.04217 138 108 26 4
2170 Have you tried icing them? 1.2464 0.04341 138 109 24 5
2171 Is this some kind of a sick yoke? 1.2464 0.04090 138 107 28 3
2172 Reginald has become a lot more broody lately. 1.2464 0.04217 138 108 26 4
2173 Preparation H isn’t covered by his supplemental. 1.2464 0.04090 138 107 28 3
2174 Harold, you're taking this whole 'nesting' idea too far. 1.2464 0.04217 138 108 26 4
2175 He’s been brooding since the Stone Age. 1.2464 0.03958 138 110 24 4
2176 Even if it does hatch, I'm not feeding it, and I'm DEFINITELY not cleaning up after it. 1.2464 0.04461 138 110 22 6
2177 Why Herbert thinks he can hatch it I'll never understand 1.2464 0.04217 138 108 26 4
2178 Whenever he has a setback, he broods. 1.2464 0.04217 138 108 26 4
2179 He just sits there appearing dumbfounded but I think he’s hatching a plan of some sort 1.2464 0.04461 138 110 22 6
2180 Harry, that's going to work only if it is YOUR egg. 1.2464 0.04217 138 108 26 4
2181 IT WAS BETTER BEFORE HE CAME OUT OF HIS SHELL 1.2464 0.03958 138 106 30 2
2182 Yoga balls just keep getting bigger and bigger... 1.2464 0.04217 138 108 26 4
2183 I don't even care anymore, as long as he picks up his socks from the floor. 1.2464 0.03958 138 106 30 2
2184 He's very concerned about the stability of his retirement fund. 1.2464 0.03958 138 106 30 2
2185 He's hatched several before, but never one quite this large. 1.2464 0.04341 138 109 24 5
2186 It started just after the Jurassic Park viewing... 1.2464 0.04341 138 109 24 5
2187 Please, ladies, let me eggsplain... 1.2464 0.04090 138 107 28 3
2188 It happens every time he tries 1.2464 0.04090 138 107 28 3
2189 Henry is so proud of the 'Good Egg' award he got on his forced retirement. 1.2464 0.04341 138 109 24 5
2190 At this rate, you’ll never open your version of Jurassic Park 1.2464 0.04461 138 108 21 5
2191 When's the hatch date? 1.2464 0.03681 138 106 31 1
2192 His doctor diagnosed him with OCD - Ostrich Complex Disorder. 1.2464 0.04341 138 109 24 5
2193 He’s hoping when it hatches, it’ll see him as its mother. 1.2464 0.04341 138 109 24 5
2194 Howard is thinking about transitioning. 1.2464 0.04217 138 108 26 4
2195 He never planned ahead a day in his life. 1.2464 0.04217 138 108 26 4
2196 He's volunteering with the Natural History Museum. 1.2464 0.04578 138 111 20 7
2197 Ever since he watched that penguin documentary. 1.2464 0.04090 138 107 28 3
2198 It's from the new Brâncuși furniture collection. The chair works okay, but it's hard to serve a well-balanced meal on our new kitchen table. 1.2464 0.04217 138 108 26 4
2199 He insists it's for his core, but I still say it's the elephant in the room 1.2464 0.04461 138 110 22 6
2200 Well, it's certainly one way of coping with empty nest. Paul and I just went to the SPCA. 1.2464 0.04578 138 111 20 7
2201 He's an ostrich surrogate! 1.2464 0.04461 138 110 22 6
2202 I don’t think this is the right solution for empty-nest depression. 1.2464 0.04341 138 109 24 5
2203 Even if you can hatch it, this building doesn't allow pets so you'll have to move. 1.2464 0.04341 138 109 24 5
2204 The shrink thinks it's because we're empty nesters. 1.2464 0.04341 138 109 24 5
2205 After December 2007, he closed all his bank accounts. 1.2464 0.04461 138 110 22 6
2206 Harold worries a lot about our retirement. 1.2464 0.04341 138 109 24 5
2207 ''I know, it's stupid. I suggested a loveseat, but when George wants something, he gets it.'' 1.2464 0.04461 138 110 22 6
2208 Even my Mom thinks this is the stupidest gender reveal party ever. 1.2464 0.04341 138 109 24 5
2209 So . . . the yolk isn't on you, then? 1.2464 0.04090 138 107 28 3
2210 I suggested adopting a child but he insisted. 1.2464 0.04341 138 109 24 5
2211 I think he's trying to keep on the sunny side. 1.2464 0.04090 138 107 28 3
2212 Don't start rocking again. 1.2464 0.04217 138 108 26 4
2213 Use a coaster. 1.2464 0.04217 138 108 26 4
2214 Okay, you're proud of your chicken. Give it a rest. 1.2464 0.04341 138 109 24 5
2215 So, Lou, has the new eggonomic chair helped at all? 1.2464 0.04692 138 112 18 8
2216 Just wait until he becomes an empty nester. 1.2464 0.04341 138 109 24 5
2217 On the plus side, he's much more maternal lately. 1.2464 0.04341 138 109 24 5
2218 He ha accumulated quite a Nest Egg for retirement. 1.2464 0.04217 138 108 26 4
2219 George just can't get used to being an empty nester. 1.2464 0.04217 138 108 26 4
2220 You didn't know he is a playwright? 1.2464 0.03958 138 106 30 2
2221 At first we had our nest egg in a 401(k), but now we just keep it here in the living room. 1.2463 0.04162 134 104 27 3
2222 It’s called a ‘Nest Egg.’ They’re very hard to get. 1.2463 0.04295 134 105 25 4
2223 He's sitting on our nest egg. 1.2463 0.04549 134 107 21 6
2224 This only complicates the 'chicken or the egg' conversation." 1.2463 0.04295 134 105 25 4
2225 I really laid an egg last night. 1.2463 0.04162 134 104 27 3
2226 It's very Art Deco 1.2446 0.04432 139 111 22 6
2227 He thinks it'll help him hatch a new business plan. 1.2444 0.03999 135 104 29 2
2228 And all these years I thought he was an egg head. 1.2444 0.04267 135 106 25 4
2229 I warned Harold, but did he listen to me! This is what sit down at home all day and be paid turns out to be. 1.2444 0.04267 135 106 25 4
2230 Which came first, the jerk or the egg? 1.2444 0.04394 135 109 20 6
2231 I have to say our nest egg has certainly grown since Herb decided to invest his time with it. 1.2444 0.03859 135 103 31 1
2232 Jim says that I don't make his eggs the way he likes them. 1.2444 0.04757 135 110 17 8
2233 Have you guys considered adopting? 1.2444 0.04135 135 105 27 3
2234 He got that at Bed, Bath & Emus. 1.2444 0.04135 135 105 27 3
2235 He gives new meaning to 'empty nester' 1.2444 0.04757 135 110 17 8
2236 We met with our financial adviser this morning. Bob's trying to grow our nest egg. 1.2444 0.04135 135 105 27 3
2237 He claims we're unequally yoked. 1.2444 0.03859 135 103 31 1
2238 There will be a humongous stink when it bursts! 1.2444 0.04201 135 108 22 5
2239 He wants to try this before paying for in-vitro. 1.2444 0.04394 135 107 23 5
2240 He thinks he’s sitting on top of the world.” 1.2444 0.04267 135 106 25 4
2241 Forget the keto diet - keto furniture is the way to go! 1.2444 0.04135 135 107 24 4
2242 You're not Humpty Dumpty!!! 1.2444 0.04267 135 106 25 4
2243 Harry believes he can do anything he sets his mind to. 1.2444 0.03999 135 104 29 2
2244 John's nest egg is a BIG part of our retirement. 1.2444 0.04394 135 107 23 5
2245 They assign a larger egg in grad school. 1.2444 0.03859 135 103 31 1
2246 I just wanted to scramble things up. 1.2444 0.04518 135 108 21 6
2247 What's up your ass? 1.2444 0.03999 135 104 29 2
2248 Now, he's even got Humpty Dumpty wrong. 1.2444 0.04394 135 107 23 5
2249 Have you considered rolling over your assets? 1.2444 0.04135 135 105 27 3
2250 So then he decided to put all his baskets in one egg. 1.2444 0.04639 135 109 19 7
2251 He always wanted to be a comedian but could never quite get the delivery right. 1.2444 0.03999 135 104 29 2
2252 So that’s how you built your nest egg... 1.2444 0.04394 135 107 23 5
2253 Phil, have you been swallowing your bubblegum again?" 1.2444 0.04639 135 109 19 7
2254 No, we don't want to no the sex... or the species . 1.2444 0.04135 135 105 27 3
2255 Its his retirement "Nest Egg". 1.2444 0.04135 135 105 27 3
2256 It helps him hatch ideas. 1.2444 0.04135 135 105 27 3
2257 He’s deconstructing Humpty Dumpty. He feels Humpty was misunderstood not broken. 1.2444 0.04135 135 105 27 3
2258 We have a new financial planner. 1.2444 0.04394 135 107 23 5
2259 Difficult labor? 1.2444 0.03859 135 103 31 1
2260 He's trying to get invited to our hen party. 1.2444 0.04518 135 108 21 6
2261 The stork is offering same-day shipping to stay competitive. 1.2444 0.04267 135 106 25 4
2262 He's very broody these days. 1.2444 0.04267 135 106 25 4
2263 He refuses to be an empty nester. 1.2424 0.04041 132 102 28 2
2264 He always wanted to retire with a big egg nest. 1.2424 0.04182 132 103 26 3
2265 We'll wait to see if it hatches - before we pick out names. 1.2406 0.04154 133 104 26 3
2266 He's already laid so many, it got literal. 1.2406 0.04154 133 104 26 3
2267 Leroy thought the ‘Nurture your nest egg by working from home’ part of the spiel was just a figure of speech. 1.2406 0.04154 133 104 26 3
2268 It's amazing the results we get by keeping him warm and playing classical music. 1.2406 0.03720 133 101 32 0
2269 The bean bag chair mutated when we microwaved it for warmth. 1.2406 0.04289 133 104 24 4
2270 It started out as just a little bump on the top of the egg. 1.2406 0.04420 133 106 22 5
2271 Looking like he's starting to slip--break out the omelet pans. 1.2406 0.03720 133 101 32 0
2272 I'm afraid Herbert has become overly attached to our nest egg. 1.2406 0.04289 133 105 24 4
2273 He can't get down off a duck, either. 1.2406 0.04154 133 104 26 3
2274 The doctor ordered six weeks of egg rest. 1.2406 0.04015 133 103 28 2
2275 Well, turns out it’s a pear. Not an egg. 1.2406 0.04289 133 105 24 4
2276 I'll be so glad when the car is fixed. 1.2406 0.04015 133 103 28 2
2277 Bob is practicing his stand-up routine again. 1.2406 0.04289 133 105 24 4
2278 His analyst says it 's empty nest syndrome 1.2406 0.04154 133 104 26 3
2279 he says he's hatching a plot 1.2406 0.04015 133 103 28 2
2280 And remind me which came first. Was it Herb's aloofness or was it the egg? 1.2406 0.04289 133 105 24 4
2281 There are better ways to get in touch with your paternal instincts. 1.2406 0.04154 133 104 26 3
2282 Apparently, this is the new new thing for empty nesting. 1.2406 0.04154 133 104 26 3
2283 I still think you should have that hemorrhoid looked at. 1.2406 0.04420 133 106 22 5
2284 What’s wrong? Is there something in my teeth? 1.2406 0.04154 133 104 26 3
2285 The Ross's in 12C have $5 on stability ball, but my money's on hemorrhoid. 1.2406 0.04015 133 103 27 2
2286 He's always talked about being a surrogate for an enormous bird, but he could never find the time. 1.2406 0.04420 133 106 22 5
2287 This is what happens when you put all your eggs in one basket, dear. 1.2406 0.04671 133 110 15 8
2288 I’ve put him on an eggestal! 1.2406 0.04420 133 106 22 5
2289 So here's the plan I just hatched. 1.2406 0.04547 133 107 20 6
2290 doesn't make you look any taller! 1.2406 0.04015 133 103 28 2
2291 Anytime now I thinks, we’re hoping for a son. 1.2406 0.04289 133 105 24 4
2292 Oh, this is just Fred's way of bonding with feminism. 1.2406 0.03871 133 102 30 1
2293 Marilyn, eventually, you'll have to quit egging him on! 1.2406 0.04547 133 107 20 6
2294 They're always big, but usually you can only smell them. 1.2406 0.04547 133 107 20 6
2295 The question isn't why? It's what are we going to do with it when it hatches? 1.2406 0.04289 133 105 24 4
2296 Could you please just use a chair like a normal person? 1.2406 0.04154 133 104 26 3
2297 With a nest egg that size, Robert may finally find a wife at 62. 1.2406 0.03871 133 102 30 1
2298 Not the 'egg chair' we were expecting, but it was final sale. 1.2406 0.04289 133 105 24 4
2299 Had you over for coffee Vera, so you could see for yourself. George laid an egg last night. 1.2406 0.04547 133 107 20 6
2300 Syd's having a gender-identity crisis -- and I must say, a rather large one. 1.2406 0.04547 133 107 20 6
2301 We’ll be so happy when we have an empty nest. 1.2406 0.04289 133 105 24 4
2302 You know, he only does this once a week, every Wednesday. 1.2406 0.04420 133 106 22 5
2303 Oh, my gawd, Henry, you've got to see a doctor. 1.2406 0.04289 133 105 24 4
2304 As soon as I laid it, he insisted on doing his part. 1.2406 0.04154 133 104 26 3
2305 This isn’t what we expected when we said you were a good egg! 1.2406 0.04154 133 104 26 3
2306 Since his prostate surgery he loves siting on his giant egg. 1.2406 0.04289 133 105 24 4
2307 This is his version of DIY Hatchimals ... 1.2406 0.04547 133 107 20 6
2308 I think he's approaching the tech incubator thing all wrong" 1.2406 0.04547 133 107 20 6
2309 I hear they used an egg donor. 1.2406 0.04289 133 105 24 4
2310 I keep telling him this is not how business incubators work. 1.2406 0.04154 133 104 26 3
2311 Frank, you have something in your teeth 1.2406 0.04154 133 104 26 3
2312 We're going to call him big-bird 1.2406 0.04154 133 104 26 3
2313 Georges friend said that she'd be back any minute, but that seems like ages ago. 1.2406 0.04289 133 105 24 4
2314 We are NOT putting you back together again. 1.2406 0.04154 133 104 26 3
2315 Try to ignore Frank -- the tiniest bit of attention just serves to egg him on. 1.2406 0.04547 133 107 20 6
2316 He’s hoping for a boy! 1.2406 0.04420 133 106 22 5
2317 Howard is hoping it’s a mastodon 1.2406 0.04015 133 103 28 2
2318 He refuses to return anything to Amazon, so he sits. 1.2406 0.04015 133 103 28 2
2319 He was tall, great with words, and very yellow, but nonetheless a deadbeat. 1.2406 0.04289 133 105 24 4
2320 He's very serious about breakfast. 1.2406 0.03871 133 106 24 3
2321 That's just Harold. Always brooding. 1.2406 0.04289 133 105 24 4
2322 I figured the best way to keep Roger busy during retirement is to get him a Chernobyl Hatchery Kit. 1.2406 0.04420 133 106 22 5
2323 Herb, honey, we're pretty sure she's never coming back. 1.2406 0.04420 133 106 22 5
2324 A beanbag chair needs less structure, dear. 1.2406 0.04015 133 103 28 2
2325 THATS NOT AN EGG THATS THE REASON WHY WE DONT SWALLOW BUBBLE GUM 1.2406 0.04547 133 107 20 6
2326 Well coo coo ca choo! 1.2406 0.04420 133 106 22 5
2327 It’s so mid-Jurassic modern. 1.2406 0.04154 133 104 26 3
2328 You should see how he hatches an idea. 1.2406 0.04289 133 105 24 4
2329 It helps with his social anxiety. 1.2406 0.04420 133 106 22 5
2330 Well, Dave sure got into that penguin documentary. 1.2406 0.04289 133 105 24 4
2331 When should we tell him it's hard boiled? 1.2406 0.04154 133 104 26 3
2332 We're not ignoring it. Just waiting for it to hatch. 1.2406 0.03871 133 102 30 1
2333 It's his boomer nest-egg. He's hiding it from the kids. 1.2406 0.04420 133 106 22 5
2334 He's convinced that we should never be empty nesters. 1.2406 0.04547 133 107 20 6
2335 We had to get a new one because the last one hatched. 1.2406 0.04289 133 105 24 4
2336 He should treat that with preparation H 1.2406 0.04289 133 104 24 4
2337 X-rays show it's a pterodactyl. But congratulations, Mr. Peterson, It's a boy! 1.2406 0.04420 133 106 22 5
2338 Whose sitting on your nest egg? 1.2406 0.04289 133 105 24 4
2339 After this one we have the house to ourselves, finally. 1.2406 0.04289 133 105 24 4
2340 You don't even have enough warmth to incubate a hug, Hubert. 1.2406 0.04289 133 105 24 4
2341 We have never been great at retirement planning. 1.2406 0.03871 133 102 30 1
2342 When he said he was worried about lay offs I was not expecting this. 1.2406 0.04420 133 106 22 5
2343 So that's why you were in the bathroom so long. 1.2406 0.04420 133 106 22 5
2344 It's an egg, Larry. Not a yoga ball. 1.2406 0.04547 133 107 20 6
2345 Sadly, Harold misunderstood the concept of nest egg. 1.2406 0.04154 133 104 26 3
2346 He feels it's his responsibility after running over that T.rex. 1.2388 0.04127 134 105 26 3
2347 Over easy or over hard? 1.2385 0.04477 130 104 21 5
2348 Nice egg 1.2385 0.04202 130 105 21 4
2349 It gives him an excuse to get out of doing chores. 1.2385 0.04341 130 103 23 4
2350 So we settled for the cheaper option, the pea bag chair. 1.2385 0.03908 130 100 29 1
2351 I forget, what came first Carl or the egg? 1.2385 0.04057 130 101 27 2
2352 One of his free range ostriches never came home so he feels obliged to surrogate parent until it hatches. 1.2385 0.04341 130 103 23 4
2353 Yeah, apparently it’s eggonomically designed. 1.2385 0.04341 130 103 23 4
2354 I liked it better when you were walking on eggshells 1.2385 0.04057 130 101 27 2
2355 What plan are you hatching now, Melvin? 1.2385 0.04608 130 105 19 6
2356 It’s the molting that’s the real problem. 1.2385 0.04608 130 105 19 6
2357 His thoughts don’t originate in his brain. 1.2385 0.04341 130 103 23 4
2358 Those Pop Art chairs from the 60's weren't designed to be comfortable 1.2385 0.04202 130 102 25 3
2359 He's still sitting on his nest egg even though the house was paid off last year 1.2385 0.04608 130 105 19 6
2360 He's begun to realize that parenting starts before birth. 1.2385 0.04736 130 106 17 7
2361 My biological clock stopped ticking long ago. You can tell your brother to give it up. 1.2385 0.03908 130 100 29 1
2362 Harold, this better not be a big yoke. 1.2385 0.04341 130 103 23 4
2363 He better take off as soon as that thing cracks open. 1.2385 0.04341 130 103 23 4
2364 He's been like this ever since his last comedy routine. 1.2385 0.04477 130 104 21 5
2365 Donald says he has to keep it warm. 1.2385 0.04477 130 104 21 5
2366 He's been like this since Johnny left for college. 1.2385 0.03831 130 104 23 3
2367 He's been sitting on that idea for years. I don't think he keeps it warm enough. 1.2385 0.03908 130 100 29 1
2368 We use a large vibrating egg. 1.2385 0.04477 130 104 21 5
2369 I know,he's had a superiority complex ever since he got that darn exercise ball 1.2385 0.04341 130 103 22 4
2370 I hate to tell you, but Mayzie bird's not coming back. 1.2385 0.04477 130 104 21 5
2371 I wonder which came first? 1.2385 0.04608 130 105 19 6
2372 He thinks if it hatches he'll get time off work. 1.2385 0.03908 130 100 29 1
2373 I've told him it can't hatch, but he's been sitting there ever since he watched that marching penguin thing. 1.2385 0.04341 130 103 23 4
2374 How long must we wait for this gender reveal? 1.2385 0.04341 130 103 23 4
2375 When Donald lays an egg everyone knows about it! 1.2385 0.04341 130 103 23 4
2376 Should we tell him that's not how you have a baby? 1.2385 0.04608 130 105 19 6
2377 So, which came first--the husband or the egg? 1.2385 0.03908 130 100 29 1
2378 The cast of his latest Broadway production sent it over. 1.2385 0.04341 130 103 23 4
2379 I told him it's this or a Peloton bike, but you can't have both. 1.2385 0.04608 130 105 19 6
2380 Ironically, Stanley learned that high cholesterol raises eggs. 1.2385 0.04202 130 102 25 3
2381 A stranger sold him a magic nest egg, but didn't explain how long until it hatches. 1.2385 0.04477 130 104 21 5
2382 I told him testicular tumours are treatable, but - typical stubborn man - he wouldn’t listen. 1.2385 0.04860 130 107 15 8
2383 He wanted to try naturally, but we had to adopt. 1.2385 0.04608 130 105 19 6
2384 So, who's the lucky girl? 1.2385 0.04202 130 102 25 3
2385 His high horse is a chicken. 1.2385 0.04202 130 102 25 3
2386 It actually works your glutes while you sit. 1.2385 0.04202 130 102 25 3
2387 George is an eggsestentialist 1.2385 0.04477 130 104 21 5
2388 It started when Jared and Anna left for college. 1.2385 0.04057 130 101 27 2
2389 If he breaks that thing, he’ll be doing the clean-up. 1.2385 0.04202 130 102 25 3
2390 Fred is a very patient man. 1.2385 0.04202 130 102 25 3
2391 All I did was mention that I wish we'd had kids. 1.2385 0.04202 130 102 25 3
2392 Careful. We’re fragile. 1.2385 0.04057 130 101 27 2
2393 I think he has taken this Paleo diet fad a bit too far! 1.2385 0.04202 130 102 25 3
2394 It's called "Eggcercize Right now he's working on his core, after it hatches it will chase him around for "cardio". 1.2385 0.04608 130 105 19 6
2395 You appear to be egging us on! 1.2385 0.04608 130 105 19 6
2396 I think he's hatching a plan. It doesn't look good for us. 1.2385 0.04202 130 102 25 3
2397 George is trying to hatch his latest invention. 1.2385 0.04057 130 101 27 2
2398 Edna, pay attention! Harry's up to no good. He's hatching something. 1.2385 0.04202 130 102 25 3
2399 He thinks it adds to his brooding presence. 1.2385 0.04202 130 102 25 3
2400 I did get him to come out of his shell, but he just won't detach. 1.2385 0.04477 130 104 21 5
2401 Well, George could not stand life as an nester 1.2385 0.04477 130 104 21 5
2402 Well that's a change, usually he just spends the evening hatching schemes to get out of helping with the dinner dishes. 1.2385 0.03908 130 100 29 1
2403 My proctologisr claims that Marvin has the largest Hemmerrhegg on record. 1.2385 0.04608 130 105 19 6
2404 This is Harry's unique approach to bond through the centuries with Sisyphus. 1.2385 0.04057 130 101 27 2
2405 I've told him that, if it ever hatches, I'm out of here. 1.2385 0.04341 130 105 20 5
2406 DON'T say it. He knows he did. 1.2385 0.04057 130 101 27 2
2407 And to think I once ate a 3-egg omelette... 1.2385 0.04477 130 104 21 5
2408 I hope I m not around when it hatches! 1.2385 0.03752 130 99 31 0
2409 It helps him connect with his feminine side, while giving him the added height he craves. 1.2385 0.03908 130 100 29 1
2410 After it hatches he will never care for the child again. 1.2385 0.04341 130 103 23 4
2411 You’re right! He’s become really hard-boiled. 1.2385 0.04202 130 102 25 3
2412 Stanley, when we have company I wish you would stop brooding. 1.2385 0.04341 130 103 23 4
2413 You really think sitting on that thing is gonna give you rock hard abs? 1.2385 0.04057 130 101 27 2
2414 Stop complaining, Horace! I'm the one who laid it! 1.2385 0.04202 130 102 25 3
2415 -Where’d you get that egg? -The store. 1.2385 0.04057 130 105 19 5
2416 Your spouse has been extinct since this baby came. 1.2385 0.03908 130 100 29 1
2417 Next time, go to Eggmart; they always have the Extra Large AA 1.2385 0.04341 130 103 23 4
2418 Just two weeks til hatching and life gets back to normal. 1.2385 0.04477 130 104 21 5
2419 I was told by my chiropractor to sit more eggonomically correct 1.2385 0.04477 130 104 21 5
2420 He's hoping it's a Tesla. 1.2385 0.04341 130 103 23 4
2421 He won't retire until that nest egg hatches. 1.2385 0.04341 130 103 23 4
2422 Last week he hatched a wombat. 1.2385 0.04057 130 101 27 2
2423 He really needs a hobby. He just keeps laying around the house. 1.2385 0.04341 130 103 23 4
2424 Bill is really committed to carrying out the dying wishes of the dinosaur. 1.2385 0.03908 130 100 29 1
2425 Harold, stop yolking around. 1.2385 0.04341 130 103 23 4
2426 "He's upset that I cancelled the last step of the in vitro procedure." 1.2385 0.04341 130 103 23 4
2427 I meant what I said, and I said what I meant. Get off that egg. 1.2385 0.04341 130 103 23 4
2428 Have you met Horton yet? 1.2385 0.04057 130 101 27 2
2429 Well he won’t admit he likes it, but he does. 1.2385 0.04608 130 105 19 6
2430 Ever since his retirement, Fred took up inventing. That's his "hatch-an-idea" chair. 1.2385 0.04477 130 104 21 5
2431 On the other hand we get turkey for a year. 1.2385 0.04057 130 101 27 2
2432 If you had gone to IKEA, they would have put it together for you. 1.2385 0.04477 130 104 21 5
2433 It’s a long wait till Easter! 1.2385 0.04202 130 102 25 3
2434 It's not his fault. His mother called him a "chicken shit" all his life. 1.2385 0.04341 130 103 23 4
2435 Hatchling will not be happy with all that weight on top. 1.2385 0.04202 130 102 25 3
2436 Wow, I've heard of hemorrhoids, but wow........ 1.2385 0.04057 130 101 27 2
2437 Our egg started shrinking when The New Yorker published that "Ponzi State" article that started the recession. 1.2385 0.04341 130 103 23 4
2438 When we were younger it was endearing but now it just reminds me of a hemorrhoid. 1.2385 0.04202 130 102 25 3
2439 Eggcellent, eggsquisite, eggceptional - I've heard them all. 1.2385 0.04477 130 104 21 5
2440 No, you can’t just take your ball and go home because, unfortunately, you are home. 1.2385 0.04477 130 104 21 5
2441 Those breathing classes went out the window when he laid that one. 1.2385 0.04202 130 102 25 3
2442 He’s always hatching something or other. 1.2385 0.04057 130 101 27 2
2443 How many times have we said to go see a doctor? 1.2385 0.04341 130 103 23 4
2444 It all started when he read about the empty nest syndrome 1.2385 0.03752 130 99 31 0
2445 I told him he has to justify every purchase with a function. 1.2385 0.04341 130 103 23 4
2446 He'll cash out after Jurassic Park goes public. 1.2385 0.03908 130 100 29 1
2447 It's his s-egg-way. 1.2385 0.04057 130 101 27 2
2448 I know it looks damn silly, but Henry lost the bet and if he didn't honor his word, we'd never hear the end of it from my brother. 1.2385 0.04341 130 103 23 4
2449 Ornithology is interesting, but I think maybe Melvin needs to dial down his enthusiasm for his new hobby. 1.2385 0.04202 130 102 25 3
2450 I keep telling him T-Rex belong in the countryside, but he just won't listen. 1.2385 0.03908 130 100 29 1
2451 'He wanted to work from home." 1.2385 0.04202 130 102 25 3
2452 He thinks he's a penguin. 1.2385 0.04202 130 102 25 3
2453 I must say, it's a tough egg to crack. 1.2385 0.04608 130 105 19 6
2454 He tried Preparation H but it got worse." 1.2385 0.04477 130 104 21 5
2455 After years of being bullied by his brother, his therapist told him this is the only way to prove to himself that he's not a chicken. 1.2385 0.04341 130 103 23 4
2456 He bought that egg-shaped chair online and he's determined to use it, but if it hatches, I'm leaving. 1.2385 0.04202 130 102 25 3
2457 Now that he's retired, he tries to help out in all the wrong ways... 1.2385 0.04341 130 103 23 4
2458 He is so considerate 1.2385 0.04057 130 101 27 2
2459 David just loves irony. Even though it's the lowest form of humor, it's the highest form of seating furniture. 1.2385 0.04057 130 101 27 2
2460 ‘The EGG! The EGG! But do you think he lifts a FINGA’ around here? 1.2385 0.04341 130 103 23 4
2461 I told him to go get that looked at by a doctor 1.2385 0.04202 130 102 25 3
2462 Please tell us there's not another you inside or is this something you got at the gym? 1.2385 0.04736 130 105 16 7
2463 I told you he laid around all day. This isn't the half of it. 1.2385 0.04057 130 101 27 2
2464 Really dear, you're not a hen. 1.2385 0.04341 130 103 23 4
2465 I told him seven years ago not to swallow that gum. 1.2385 0.04341 130 103 23 4
2466 I work at an incubator 1.2385 0.04477 130 104 21 5
2467 Let’s just probe him until he cracks. 1.2385 0.04341 130 103 23 4
2468 You really waiting for the king’s horses and men? 1.2385 0.04341 130 103 23 4
2469 So, what great thing is Edmund hatching now? 1.2385 0.03908 130 100 29 1
2470 I told him not to swallow all that chewing gum before eating all those beans! 1.2385 0.04202 130 102 25 3
2471 God knows what he's hatching this time... 1.2385 0.04477 130 104 21 5
2472 If you aren’t careful, Mr. Dumpty, the yolk will be on you. 1.2385 0.04341 130 103 23 4
2473 Please don't brood about it, Albert 1.2385 0.04202 130 102 25 3
2474 He used to brood like James Dean. 1.2385 0.04477 130 104 21 5
2475 He's still my Gus. But he laid the golden egg. 1.2385 0.04202 130 102 25 3
2476 The financial adviser said we would have a huge nest egg and Jim is still in denial that we got swindled. 1.2385 0.04341 130 103 23 4
2477 Cause bean bags weren't keto enough. 1.2377 0.04807 122 99 17 6
2478 You laid it. You figure out how to get down from it. 1.2366 0.04174 131 103 25 3
2479 He is sitting on a pretty significant nest egg. 1.2344 0.04221 128 101 24 3
2480 He failed the sex education course. 1.2344 0.04503 128 103 20 5
2481 "I really thought this would be our first Summer with an empty nest. 1.2344 0.04503 128 103 20 5
2482 Horace is proud of our nest egg. 1.2344 0.04365 128 102 22 4
2483 He always wanted to rule the roost. 1.2344 0.04638 128 104 18 6
2484 Michael refuses to have a reveal party. 1.2344 0.04365 128 102 22 4
2485 If it doesn't hatch, I'll make an omelette. 1.2344 0.04073 128 100 26 2
2486 I don't think you can hatch it 1.2344 0.04073 128 100 26 2
2487 I know its a giant egg but he says it relieve his lower back pain 1.2344 0.04073 128 100 26 2
2488 No, I said coq au VIN” 1.2344 0.04073 128 100 26 2
2489 Shh, don’t egg him off. 1.2344 0.03919 128 99 28 1
2490 Does he suspect it's not his? 1.2344 0.04221 128 101 24 3
2491 He’s hatching something. 1.2344 0.04365 128 102 22 4
2492 If he says goo goo g’joob one more time, I’m gonna ... 1.2344 0.04221 128 101 24 3
2493 You can always tell when he's up to something. 1.2344 0.04503 128 103 20 5
2494 Horton's favorite children's book? I'll give you one guess. 1.2344 0.04221 128 101 24 3
2495 A perfect gift for his skills 1.2344 0.04221 128 101 24 3
2496 What a smooth eggsit 1.2344 0.04221 128 101 24 3
2497 It has completely cured my empty nest syndrome. 1.2344 0.04365 128 102 22 4
2498 I told him not to have that womb transplant. 1.2344 0.04365 128 102 22 4
2499 Any history of heart disease in your family? 1.2344 0.04638 128 104 18 6
2500 Tuesday's the hemorrhoidectomy. 1.2344 0.04221 128 101 24 3
2501 You really married a good egg, didn't you." 1.2344 0.03919 128 99 28 1
2502 Oh, he definitely started thinking he was a chicken first- then the egg showed up. 1.2344 0.04365 128 102 22 4
2503 Me? I’m feeling egg’selent, why do you ask? 1.2344 0.04221 128 101 24 3
2504 Sorry, my wife told me I need to keep it warm while she’s out. 1.2344 0.04365 128 102 22 4
2505 It’s IKEA’s new look. 1.2344 0.04365 128 102 22 4
2506 Albert loves eggs. He cried at the end of Humpty Dumpty. 1.2344 0.04638 128 104 18 6
2507 This is what happens when men your age do the Humpty Dance. 1.2344 0.04221 128 101 24 3
2508 Mother told me to marry someone with good parenting instincts. 1.2344 0.04365 128 102 22 4
2509 And they call us “old hens”.... 1.2344 0.04503 128 103 20 5
2510 So much for retirement...this is Harold's nest egg. 1.2344 0.03919 128 99 28 1
2511 Has he ever hatched one? 1.2344 0.04221 128 101 24 3
2512 Ed has been growing this nest egg since 1986, but frankly he's forgotten why. 1.2344 0.04365 128 102 22 4
2513 You should probably get that looked at. 1.2344 0.04503 128 103 20 5
2514 This is much bigger than his last eggsistential crisis. 1.2344 0.04073 128 100 26 2
2515 Bert has hatched a number of eggcentric ideas but this one makes me think he needs an intervention... 1.2344 0.04221 128 101 24 3
2516 I don't have the heart to tell him it's not an exercise ball. 1.2344 0.03919 128 101 25 2
2517 I call it my “turd” of paradise. 1.2344 0.04638 128 104 18 6
2518 Henry never believed in banks. 1.2344 0.04221 128 101 24 3
2519 I can live with this. It's the constant pecking I can't deal with. 1.2344 0.04638 128 104 18 6
2520 He's giving it a week, and then we're making an omelet. 1.2344 0.04221 128 101 24 3
2521 He thinks he's an emperor penguin. 1.2344 0.03919 128 99 28 1
2522 Horton. Get off! 1.2344 0.04365 128 102 22 4
2523 A hemorrhoid or our nest egg. You decide. 1.2344 0.04073 128 100 26 2
2524 Henry thinks he can still be relevant by experiencing the female experience of motherhood 1.2344 0.04365 128 102 22 4
2525 He got it from labretarpits.com. He’s been incubating it for a week. 1.2344 0.04365 128 102 22 4
2526 When we lived at sea level it was a normally comfortable bean-bag chair, but up here in Telluride... 1.2344 0.03919 128 99 28 1
2527 So that's a nest egg! 1.2344 0.03919 128 99 28 1
2528 I knew he was a good egg when you married him, Myrtle. I just didn’t know he also laid them. 1.2344 0.04073 128 102 23 3
2529 He thinks our nest egg will hatch. 1.2344 0.04073 128 100 26 2
2530 At this point in our lives I was hoping we'd be empty nesters. 1.2344 0.03919 128 99 28 1
2531 Is Horton hatching the egg? 1.2344 0.04221 128 101 24 3
2532 Last time, he hatched an idea. This is the result. 1.2344 0.04365 128 102 22 4
2533 He's been growing that since we met. He figures a few more years and we'll be ready to retire. 1.2344 0.04503 128 103 20 5
2534 He's hatching his plan to determine the 2020 election. 1.2344 0.04365 128 102 22 4
2535 He’s been like that for weeks. Hope it hatches soon. 1.2344 0.04221 128 101 24 3
2536 This is going to be a tough one to crack. 1.2344 0.04365 128 102 22 4
2537 Fred's just watching it while his brother is being examined. 1.2344 0.04221 128 101 24 3
2538 I told him he could keep it, but I’m NOT cleaning up the poop. 1.2344 0.04365 128 102 22 4
2539 We don't know. Harold fond it while digging a new garden in the backyard. It's become a sort of a thing with him. 1.2344 0.03997 128 102 23 3
2540 Yep, fostering eggs became his retirement gig.” 1.2344 0.04073 128 100 26 2
2541 The box said this will give me abs 1.2344 0.04221 128 101 24 3
2542 Herb takes pride in his unfailing ability to protect our nest egg. 1.2344 0.04221 128 101 24 3
2543 When I told her Ed sits in his chair all day, she became very interested in selling us this one. 1.2344 0.04221 128 101 24 3
2544 And here I thought paid paternity leave would be a good idea. 1.2344 0.04221 128 101 24 3
2545 I’m tired of having to walk on eggshells around this guy! 1.2344 0.04365 128 102 22 4
2546 Just ignore him. He always was off the wall. 1.2344 0.04148 128 103 21 4
2547 Free-range? We'll have to buy the county! 1.2344 0.04503 128 103 20 5
2548 Gladys, you’re up in forty. 1.2344 0.04365 128 102 22 4
2549 Hasn’t moved since he laid it last Saturday. 1.2344 0.04221 128 101 24 3
2550 We'll be making an omelette for the family brunch tomorrow. 1.2344 0.04221 128 101 24 3
2551 He's been sitting on it for a month now. God, I hope its better than his last idea. 1.2344 0.04221 128 101 24 3
2552 He has become quite protective of our nest egg. 1.2344 0.04503 128 103 20 5
2553 He already had a “great fall.” He’s going for number 2. 1.2344 0.04221 128 103 21 4
2554 Let's get this gander reveal party started!” 1.2344 0.04503 128 103 20 5
2555 Yes, George. But simply sitting on your nest egg will never match the pathos of the Dumptys. 1.2344 0.03919 128 99 28 1
2556 What will you do with it when it hatches? 1.2344 0.04221 128 101 24 3
2557 If he's like Horton and produces another of himself I'm getting a divorce! 1.2344 0.04365 128 102 22 4
2558 The last time you tried this, we did not get breakfast and we had to eat an Ostrich for dinner. 1.2344 0.04073 128 100 26 2
2559 Frankly, at this point, I hope whatever it is eats George!" 1.2344 0.04503 128 103 20 5
2560 Now Harold's nest egg is bigger than my 401K. 1.2344 0.04221 128 101 24 3
2561 I said "hacker," not "hatcher." 1.2344 0.04503 128 103 20 5
2562 He has always wanted a pterodactyl. 1.2344 0.04221 128 101 24 3
2563 I don’t know what I hate more...that he insists on doing it, or the fear that it might actually hatch. 1.2344 0.04769 128 105 16 7
2564 Herb used to sit on a pyramid, but we couldn't afford the proctologist bills. 1.2344 0.04769 128 105 16 7
2565 The couch is on special order 1.2344 0.04221 128 101 24 3
2566 Marvin always wanted children in the worst way. 1.2344 0.04221 128 101 24 3
2567 My doctor recommended this for my sciatica. 1.2344 0.04221 128 101 24 3
2568 Franklin, at this point a prostate exam would be far more dignified. 1.2344 0.04769 128 105 16 7
2569 At first we thought it was just a wart. 1.2344 0.04365 128 102 22 4
2570 He’s just so jealous of women. 1.2344 0.04221 128 101 24 3
2571 I told him not to swallow the bubble gum! 1.2344 0.04365 128 102 22 4
2572 Nest egg for retirement? Did you ask for free advice? 1.2344 0.04221 128 101 24 3
2573 He always wanted kids. 1.2344 0.04221 128 101 24 3
2574 After thirty years it still baffles me: which came first Seymour or the egg? 1.2344 0.04503 128 103 20 5
2575 Don't let it hatch--I'm making latkes tomorrow. 1.2344 0.04221 128 101 24 3
2576 He's never gotten over his childhood love for bubble gum. I just wish he wouldn't swallow. 1.2344 0.04365 128 102 22 4
2577 Boy...your huband is really on the ball! 1.2344 0.04365 128 102 22 4
2578 Maybe there really is more to your ancestry than we thought! 1.2344 0.03919 128 99 28 1
2579 Well, pregnancy's not so pleasant either. 1.2344 0.04769 128 105 16 7
2580 In hindsight, trying to impregnate Bill was a bad idea. 1.2344 0.04638 128 104 18 6
2581 So Phil how's the nest egg coming along? 1.2344 0.03919 128 99 28 1
2582 We’re not sure which came first! 1.2344 0.04221 128 101 24 3
2583 How cheap is he? He’s so cheap he decided to go cage free and free range. 1.2344 0.03919 128 103 22 3
2584 He's retired now and just tending our nest egg. 1.2344 0.04073 128 100 26 2
2585 He told me he was going to make us an egg roll for lunch. 1.2344 0.04365 128 102 22 4
2586 So I told George that if he wanted a pet, he'd have to incubate it. 1.2344 0.04221 128 101 24 3
2587 He's desperate for grandkids! 1.2344 0.04365 128 102 22 4
2588 I don't have the heart to tell him the truth. 1.2344 0.03919 128 99 28 1
2589 Do you always have to look down on people? 1.2320 0.04419 125 100 21 4
2590 Howard always said that he had put aside a sizeable nest egg for his retirement. 1.2320 0.04271 125 99 23 3
2591 Gives him something to do. 1.2320 0.04271 125 99 23 3
2592 Listen Egbert, you're not going to be a mother any time soon! 1.2320 0.04271 125 99 23 3
2593 Is this another one of your yolks? 1.2320 0.04117 125 98 25 2
2594 We are diversifying our retirement nest egg. 1.2320 0.04271 125 99 23 3
2595 He’s gone from old timer to egg timer. 1.2320 0.04419 125 100 21 4
2596 Can you believe this was on clearance? 1.2320 0.04563 125 101 19 5
2597 Since we couldn't conceive, Harold had the bright idea to use the fertility clinic at the Bronx Zoo... 1.2320 0.04702 125 102 17 6
2598 So if somehow it hatches, you have to clean up after it. 1.2320 0.04271 125 99 23 3
2599 This doesn't make you woke. 1.2320 0.04117 125 98 25 2
2600 Let's go with the eggshell in the dining room. 1.2320 0.04271 125 99 23 3
2601 At least it matches your head 1.2320 0.04271 125 99 23 3
2602 Ed is hatching the latest Trump conspiracy theory. 1.2320 0.04419 125 100 21 4
2603 George believes that child rearing is the responsibility of both parents. 1.2320 0.04271 125 99 23 3
2604 That's an IKEA Bouerdsnaast, it's all the rage in Europe. 1.2320 0.03957 125 97 27 1
2605 He says he’s not hatching a plot against me, but I have my suspicions. 1.2302 0.04088 126 99 25 2
2606 Ray's in charge of Thanksgiving this year. 1.2302 0.04388 126 101 21 4
2607 He likes his omelets fresh 1.2302 0.04388 126 101 21 4
2608 This isn’t what I meant when I said you should buy in bulk. 1.2302 0.04668 126 103 17 6
2609 Harold is determined to hatch our nest egg in a domestic environment. 1.2302 0.04241 126 100 23 3
2610 IVF isn’t working so we’re trying this. 1.2302 0.04241 126 100 23 3
2611 And I am the walrus, goo goo g'joob. 1.2302 0.04530 126 102 19 5
2612 I guess there IS a big difference in how men handle this empty nest thing ... 1.2302 0.04388 126 101 21 4
2613 I just keep thinking" booby hatch". 1.2302 0.04530 126 102 19 5
2614 I don’t fully understand Henry’s concept of a nest egg. 1.2302 0.04088 126 99 25 2
2615 If it ever hatches, we get a pet dinosaur 1.2302 0.04530 126 102 19 5
2616 He calls it his post-modernist egg chair, but I find it uncomfortable. 1.2302 0.04241 126 100 23 3
2617 H'es always been very protective of his nest egg. 1.2302 0.04388 126 101 21 4
2618 He thinks he’s Horton the Elephant 1.2302 0.04241 126 100 23 3
2619 I want my grandkid and I don’t care how I get them! 1.2302 0.04388 126 101 21 4
2620 Epididy-what? 1.2302 0.04668 126 103 17 6
2621 Harold won't trust our nest egg to the bank 1.2302 0.04530 126 102 19 5
2622 He's hoping for a boychik, but I don't think we have the room. 1.2302 0.04241 126 100 23 3
2623 He asked me to get him a big egg. Now I know why. 1.2302 0.04241 126 100 23 3
2624 Has he seen his proctologist? 1.2302 0.04241 126 100 23 3
2625 And what will you do when it hatches? 1.2302 0.04088 126 99 25 2
2626 Well I did tell him to get off his high horse. 1.2302 0.04530 126 102 19 5
2627 Well, I guess evolution does exist. 1.2302 0.03930 126 98 27 1
2628 He's so proud of his little nest egg. 1.2302 0.04088 126 99 25 2
2629 Thought he was buying an ergo-puff chair. I'm mean, what did he thinking ... He was at an Egg Farm. 1.2302 0.04802 126 104 15 7
2630 We're praying it hatches before Thanksgiving. 1.2302 0.04802 126 104 15 7
2631 One day a strange growth started to appear on the egg. Last time I buy brick-a-brac from the Internet. 1.2302 0.04668 126 103 17 6
2632 Paul came first, but that egg has been here a long time. 1.2302 0.04088 126 99 25 2
2633 He’s pterosaur brooding again. 1.2302 0.04088 126 99 25 2
2634 How long do we make him wait until we ask about his latest scheme? 1.2302 0.03930 126 98 27 1
2635 Now that's a burp. 1.2302 0.04388 126 101 21 4
2636 After all these years, that's all I've been able to squeeze out of him. 1.2302 0.03930 126 98 27 1
2637 My Edgar an intellectual?! He's an eggbottom!!!! 1.2302 0.04802 126 104 15 7
2638 Yeah, so he asked me what I wanted from him and I said, a big fat goose egg 1.2302 0.04388 126 101 21 4
2639 He's in time-out hell for losing our real nest egg." 1.2302 0.03930 126 98 27 1
2640 True to his word. Rodger always said we'd never have to worry about an "empty nest." 1.2302 0.03930 126 98 27 1
2641 A chicken hatches in 21 days, no telling how long Fred will have to sit for that Pterodactyl egg to hatch. 1.2302 0.03930 126 98 27 1
2642 No, our doorways are large enough. The hardest part was getting it out of the dinosaur. 1.2302 0.04241 126 100 23 3
2643 He's not the best provider, but he's an excellent father. 1.2302 0.04241 126 100 23 3
2644 He says it tightens his core muscles, but I haven't seen any differences yeat. 1.2302 0.04088 126 99 25 2
2645 Jerry thinks this is a big accomplishment, but I personally think he just laid another egg. 1.2302 0.04088 126 99 25 2
2646 Our eggs are fine. It’s the sperm we need. 1.2302 0.04088 126 99 25 2
2647 He's never adjusted to being an empty nester. 1.2302 0.04388 126 101 21 4
2648 If you think this egg is ginormous, you ought to see the hen! 1.2302 0.04388 126 103 18 5
2649 Thirty years of marriage and I’m still walking on eggshells around him. 1.2302 0.04388 126 101 21 4
2650 Frank never leaves his nest egg... 1.2302 0.04388 126 101 21 4
2651 Believe it or not, he’s had worse hemorrhoids. 1.2302 0.04530 126 102 19 5
2652 We should probably go organic next time. 1.2302 0.04530 126 102 19 5
2653 His new chick cuckolded him. 1.2302 0.04388 126 101 21 4
2654 Give it up, Darren . ‘Perdue Pilates’ will never catch on 1.2302 0.04668 126 103 17 6
2655 He’s hoping he’ll hatch a plan. 1.2302 0.04241 126 100 23 3
2656 He keeps hoping he’ll hatch a very big idea. 1.2302 0.04388 126 101 21 4
2657 For goodness sake, Arthur, I didn’t mean it literally. 1.2302 0.04088 126 99 25 2
2658 He says he’s ready for the next big thing. 1.2302 0.04241 126 100 23 3
2659 He's hoping it will hatch a cute chick. 1.2302 0.04241 126 100 23 3
2660 Horton' s hatching an egg? 1.2302 0.04530 126 102 19 5
2661 HARRY ALWAYS WANTED A BOY. 1.2302 0.03930 126 98 27 1
2662 What's he going to do if it hatches? 1.2302 0.04088 126 99 25 2
2663 It’s true. Even office chairs have been replaced by egg-cersise balls. 1.2302 0.04388 126 101 21 4
2664 He's been so broody lately. 1.2302 0.04241 126 100 23 3
2665 I thought he was just kidding about his retirement plan. 1.2302 0.04241 126 100 23 3
2666 We're worried its from a free range chicken. 1.2302 0.04088 126 99 25 2
2667 It's an eggcistential issue 1.2302 0.04388 126 101 21 4
2668 Beats walking on eggshells 1.2302 0.04668 126 103 17 6
2669 It's not exactly the eggshell paint sample I had in mind, dear. 1.2302 0.04530 126 102 19 5
2670 He's been like that ever since he saw the film "March of the Penguins". 1.2302 0.04088 126 99 25 2
2671 I think an egg chair is something different. 1.2302 0.04241 126 100 23 3
2672 Wait till it hatches! 1.2302 0.03930 126 98 27 1
2673 Oh God, Myrna. I just read about Humpty Dumpty Anal Distention this morning, and now here it is in the flesh. 1.2302 0.04388 126 101 21 4
2674 But when it hatches, we'll all be surprised. 1.2302 0.04388 126 101 21 4
2675 Harold loves anticipation. 1.2302 0.04388 126 101 21 4
2676 It’s not fertilized. 1.2302 0.03930 126 98 27 1
2677 And then, the Dragon asked me to take care of the egg while she gets some cigarettes. 1.2302 0.04388 126 101 21 4
2678 Harry just refuses to go to the doctor to have that ghastly hemorrhoid looked at. 1.2302 0.03930 126 98 27 1
2679 He thinks it’s an egg 1.2302 0.04530 126 102 19 5
2680 Lego his egg-o? 1.2302 0.03930 126 98 27 1
2681 He wants me to call him ‘Father of Dragons.’ 1.2302 0.03930 126 98 27 1
2682 I just wish you would do it in the bathroom. 1.2302 0.04241 126 100 23 3
2683 Look who rolled in! 1.2302 0.04241 126 100 23 3
2684 Hermann couldn't wait for all the governmental regulations on genetic cloning, he's hatching his own baby mammoth. 1.2302 0.04388 126 101 21 4
2685 Hey dude, did you lay that egg? 1.2302 0.04088 126 103 17 5
2686 What new plan is he trying to hatch now?? 1.2302 0.04388 126 101 21 4
2687 HE THINKS IT'S A TUFFET--- 1.2302 0.03930 126 100 24 2
2688 Don't say that, you're doing great for a stay-at-home dad. 1.2302 0.04241 126 100 23 3
2689 Which came first- the husband or the egg? 1.2302 0.04088 126 99 25 2
2690 Ralph is about to learn the true meaning of the term "walking on eggshells." 1.2302 0.04241 126 100 23 3
2691 He says it helps him think like an egghead. 1.2302 0.04241 126 100 23 3
2692 We just heard about the new idea you are hatching. 1.2302 0.04388 126 101 21 4
2693 Is the magic climbing that egg or making the egg stand vertical? 1.2302 0.04241 126 100 23 3
2694 Harry was insecure about going bald. 1.2302 0.04668 126 103 17 6
2695 I think we're going to need a bigger incubator... 1.2302 0.04388 126 101 21 4
2696 He says it's symbolic of our marriage. 1.2302 0.04530 126 102 19 5
2697 Delbert has always been a little egg centric. 1.2302 0.04530 126 102 19 5
2698 I wanted to get a heat lamp, but you know how he gets about the electric bill. 1.2302 0.04241 126 100 23 3
2699 If that thing hatches you'll be cleaning up after it, Marvin. 1.2302 0.03930 126 98 27 1
2700 I always knew he was an egghead, but this puts the icing on the cake 1.2302 0.04668 126 103 17 6
2701 I feel something 1.2302 0.03930 126 98 27 1
2702 He's been like this ever since he got laid off… 1.2302 0.03930 126 98 27 1
2703 How would you feel about having two Yungian analysts? 1.2302 0.04668 126 103 17 6
2704 I just don’t trust these modern deviled egg recipes, Marge. 1.2302 0.04530 126 102 19 5
2705 Herb really laid an egg this time. 1.2302 0.04530 126 102 19 5
2706 George is very protective of our nest egg. 1.2302 0.04241 126 100 23 3
2707 I'm trying to own the whole turkey process this year. 1.2302 0.04088 126 99 25 2
2708 Jerry’s just acting out. His psychiatrist calls it a ‘Mother Hen’ complex 1.2302 0.03930 126 98 27 1
2709 His fertility is undeniable. 1.2302 0.04241 126 100 23 3
2710 He’s trying to counteract our empty nest syndrome. 1.2302 0.04388 126 101 21 4
2711 Of course,it started small... 1.2302 0.04088 126 99 25 2
2712 When do you expect it to hatch? 1.2302 0.04241 126 100 23 3
2713 Did you seriously eat a balloon again? 1.2302 0.04388 126 101 21 4
2714 See? I *told* you that swallowing bubble gum was bad for you. 1.2302 0.04388 126 101 21 4
2715 I don’t know where Howard found it, but he insists it’s going to be spectacular. 1.2302 0.04388 126 101 21 4
2716 He used salt to balance that egg. I don't respect that. 1.2302 0.03930 126 98 27 1
2717 It’s a game of chicken 1.2302 0.03930 126 98 27 1
2718 Just turn up the heat already and come sit on the couch. 1.2302 0.04241 126 100 23 3
2719 I told him he needed some hobbies, be all know who's going to have to take care of it after it hatches. 1.2302 0.04088 126 99 25 2
2720 Harold, I think your obsession with dinosaurs has gone a little far. 1.2302 0.04530 126 102 19 5
2721 Gladys, I'm not saying that you and Henry don't have a nice nest egg, I'm just saying that you might want to speak to a financial planner with a different background, preferably not poultry. 1.2302 0.04241 126 100 23 3
2722 Stanley's New Egg Chair Is Still In The Design Stage But So Far Circus Animals And Performers Are Giving It High Ratings." 1.2302 0.04241 126 100 23 3
2723 Actually Gladis, they both came here at the same time. 1.2302 0.04530 126 102 19 5
2724 'I keep him because they're free.' 1.2302 0.04530 126 102 19 5
2725 Well Helen, at least your husband isn't an egghead. 1.2302 0.04530 126 102 19 5
2726 Harold insists it’s a Marc Newson but I have my doubts. 1.2302 0.04088 126 99 25 2
2727 There's no talking with him about it. It's like I'm always walking on...Doh! 1.2302 0.04388 126 101 21 4
2728 I got this chair because I was sick of being on the edge of my seat over the impeachment hearings. 1.2302 0.04388 126 101 21 4
2729 Our son left investment banking to make those full-time. 1.2302 0.03765 126 97 29 0
2730 He calls it “eggistentialism”. 1.2302 0.04088 126 99 25 2
2731 Whatever it is, we want it to be loyal to us." 1.2302 0.04241 126 100 23 3
2732 You've really come out of your shell." 1.2302 0.04388 126 101 21 4
2733 This is aversion therapy given that his parents often referred to him as the bad egg. 1.2302 0.04241 126 100 23 3
2734 Yeah but you should see his abs 1.2302 0.04388 126