Contest #684


Cartoon

684

The winning captions

These captions are chosen by The New Yorker.

  1. “Publicly, we’re still saying there are no side effects.”
  2. “Good, Human Resources is here.”
  3. “So the board still has no women?”


Name Value
Submission deadline 2019-11-04T01:27:00.000Z
Voting started -
Voting ended 2019-11-18T01:30:00.000Z
Finalists announced 2019-11-12T01:29:00.000Z
Magazine(s) announcing finalists issued November 18, 2019
Number of captions 5664
Number of responses 1094055
Number of participants -


Dashboard

In this table, the "mean" means the empirically measured average funniness score when the "unfunny", "somewhat funny" and "funny" receive a funniness score of 1, 2, 3 respectively. "Precison" is the standard error of the mean, the standard deviation of the mean estimate. With that, a caption with an empirical mean μ and precision σ has true mean in the range [μ - 2σ, μ + 2σ] with 95% probability by the 68-95-99.7 rule assuming the responses are indepedent and identically distributed.

Rank Caption Mean Precision Total votes "Unfunny" votes "Somewhat funny" votes "Funny" votes
0 Publicly, we're still saying there are no side effects. 2.3414 0.00632 14383 2526 4427 7428
1 You all remember Phil — we used to hang out under his bed. 2.1126 0.00654 14471 3766 5311 5393
2 This is a good point to stop the meeting; I see that lunch has arrived. 2.0376 0.00701 13251 4074 4601 4573
3 Suddenly, Jeff realized he should have posted his resume on other sites besides monster.com 2.0303 0.00729 12314 3861 4225 4227
4 Dr. Smith here will explain what went wrong with the clinical trial. 2.0102 0.00692 12387 3626 5016 3745
5 Do we need to discuss diversity, or are we good? 1.9636 0.00694 12785 4173 4903 3708
6 Welcome Bob to the team. He'll be with us until about lunchtime. 1.9484 0.03033 697 242 249 206
7 Good, Human Resources is here. 1.9468 0.00729 12150 4275 4251 3623
8 Apparently we’re the only people willing to work in the White House during Trump’s second term. 1.9335 0.00759 12225 4753 3538 3934
9 He’s an attorney. Of course he’s cold-blooded. 1.9308 0.00768 11106 4048 3782 3276
10 He brings a fresh perspective, and frankly, we need his opposable thumbs. 1.9260 0.00862 8383 2941 3121 2321
11 Love your Halloween costume, Ed. Creepy. Take a seat. 1.8865 0.01046 5744 2169 2058 1517
12 Let’s open with the pronouns each of us feel comfortable with 1.8863 0.01231 4452 1782 1394 1276
13 Everyone I would like you to meet Andy, our diversity hire. 1.8779 0.00768 10311 3847 3878 2585
14 Mr. Morris is here to discuss why there's a problem with the facial identification software." 1.8630 0.01491 2642 981 1042 619
15 I know you're skeptical, but he claims he can cure our reptile dysfunction. 1.8573 0.01182 4865 2049 1461 1355
16 Didn't we order Chinese? 1.8435 0.00869 9044 3917 2630 2497
17 Don't you guys remember Timmy? We all used to hide under his bed. 1.8347 0.00911 7181 2842 2688 1650
18 The ambassador from earth says they will not try to colonize Mars if we provide dirt on Joe Biden. 1.8335 0.00880 8608 3711 2622 2275
19 Now let's not make the same mistake we did last week. This is our waiter. He's not our lunch, he gets our lunch 1.8263 0.01233 3938 1579 1464 895
20 Obviously, half of you received a placebo. 1.8254 0.00990 6694 2882 2099 1713
21 So the board still has no women? 1.8187 0.00910 7698 3285 2525 1887
22 Take it easy now. We all looked like that on our first day. 1.8177 0.00952 6539 2658 2421 1460
23 You know what they say, if you aren’t at the table, you’re on the menu. 1.8158 0.01430 3035 1273 1048 714
24 He was a rescue. 1.8039 0.00961 6625 2807 2312 1506
25 Mr. Reilly will serve as the face of our Company. 1.8015 0.00829 8412 3440 3204 1767
26 Now today team, Zogg has brought along his emotional support human. 1.7925 0.00984 6322 2725 2184 1413
27 All those in favor, raise something. 1.7866 0.01033 5788 2538 1947 1303
28 Looks like someone forgot that it was casual Friday. 1.7861 0.00918 6899 2910 2558 1431
29 He may not look scary, but his kind is responsible for the destruction of a whole planet. 1.7835 0.01389 3284 1473 1049 762
30 I'd like to introduce one of our human resources 1.7785 0.00811 8573 3583 3308 1682
31 So it's agreed, the bathrooms will be species neutral. 1.7623 0.01000 5666 2440 2134 1092
32 So that’s six votes in favor of promoting Tim to partner and one vote in favor of eating him. 1.7442 0.01204 3979 1786 1425 768
33 They all do look alike, don't they. 1.7419 0.01273 3514 1579 1266 669
34 The Phase 2 antidote has failed 1.7389 0.01148 5052 2519 1334 1198
35 He may not look like a monster at first glance, but this is the pharmaceutical rep I’ve been telling you about. 1.7343 0.01085 5020 2339 1681 1000
36 Before we get started I believe we should address the Human in the room. 1.7329 0.01236 3759 1715 1333 711
37 Having exhausted the lobbyist pool, the Trump administration had to recruit from farther outside the swamp 1.7173 0.01265 4058 2053 1099 906
38 I say let's be patient. After the next election, we could once again be somebody's worst nightmare. 1.7143 0.01726 2065 1014 627 424
39 Tom's a shapeshifter and a blood drinker. Or as the humans call him, a consultant. 1.7115 0.01607 2295 1106 745 444
40 Hope you're well-prepared, Chris. Because if you're not, this board will eat you alive. 1.7041 0.01529 2508 1216 818 474
41 Ok Jared, Ivanka, Mitch, Mike, Rudy, Time to put the suits back on 1.6930 0.01759 2101 1104 538 459
42 Well, I see lunch has arrived. 1.6923 0.01910 1550 750 527 273
43 Our ethos is ‘diversity without judgment’. 1.6901 0.01084 5082 2551 1553 976
44 Welcome to the swamp ! 1.6890 0.02203 1209 601 383 225
45 The core of our public relations problem is that the people see us as a bunch of corporate monsters. 1.6885 0.01375 3053 1507 991 555
46 Did you hear that? He wants to know what we want for lunch. 1.6822 0.01198 3927 1946 1288 692
47 Today's guest speaker is a white, middle-aged, male to talk to us about diversity in the workplace." 1.6809 0.01560 2451 1251 733 467
48 All in favor of having Stan for lunch? 1.6786 0.01065 5021 2501 1635 885
49 I would like to start by asking if anyone has dietary constraints. 1.6694 0.01833 1558 750 573 235
50 How 'bout we start by introducing ourselves and sharing our preferred pronouns? 1.6693 0.01208 3970 2026 1232 711
51 Sooooo, whose imaginary friend is this little guy? 1.6691 0.01754 1777 877 611 289
52 Hey everybody, this is my cousin Gary. He came out this year as human. 1.6679 0.01702 1912 952 643 317
53 I know its pandering, but this is how we win Iowa and New Hampshire. 1.6649 0.02224 1140 576 370 194
54 This is Jerry. He's not as scary as he looks. 1.6563 0.01095 4457 2224 1543 690
55 He's not a monster, he's our lawyer. 1.6560 0.01448 2686 1377 856 453
56 It's agreed. No one has to live under Trump's bed. It's just too scary. 1.6405 0.02226 1238 682 319 237
57 this is Bob, ostensibly the top of the food chain. 1.6351 0.02453 866 441 300 125
58 Say hello to the Homo sapien, he's joining us as the newest member of the Endangered Species Club." 1.6297 0.01965 1407 739 450 218
59 That's an ugly word. I'd rather we refer to Larry as 'undocumented.' 1.6297 0.02087 1226 647 393 186
60 Trust me, he's one of us. He convinced millions of parents not to vaccinate their kids! 1.6295 0.01958 1487 801 436 250
61 Meet Compassionate White Male. Another mythical creature. 1.6224 0.02250 1115 612 315 188
62 This is what we all looked like before climate change. 1.6201 0.01466 2677 1471 752 454
63 We love you as an agent Jimmy, but we haven't had work since the bar scene in Star Wars! 1.6144 0.01891 1551 844 461 246
64 ...and HR informs me he prefers "human" to '"fleshbag". 1.6112 0.01634 2032 1102 619 311
65 According to Ancestry.com. this is our dad 1.6100 0.01977 1436 792 412 232
66 Alright, girls. Who ordered the stripper? 1.6037 0.01834 1721 976 452 293
67 Okay team, I know WE'RE usually the monsters, but today we have a special guest - an executive from the ExxonMobil corporation! 1.5977 0.01859 1633 921 448 264
68 Ted's not a monster, but he is a lawyer, so there's that. 1.5920 0.01518 2245 1228 707 310
69 And now please welcome the scariest monster of them all, a Republican US Senator! 1.5893 0.02214 1220 722 279 219
70 Good work all. Ah, lunch has arrived! 1.5876 0.01429 2585 1435 781 369
71 Great costume, Elliott! 1.5848 0.01492 2283 1250 729 303
72 Like Andrew from H.R. said, "Our human co-workers are not snacks. I'm looking at you, Dots." 1.5810 0.01869 1451 799 461 191
73 And, for our next visit to earth we've made an improved meat puppet to replace our last probe that somehow got elected President of the most powerful nation. 1.5701 0.02256 1112 656 278 178
74 I see no reason to move our company out of Chernobyl. 1.5694 0.02398 894 505 269 120
75 This is Larry. His species has figured a way to destroy a planet AND turn a profit! 1.5671 0.02089 1252 730 334 188
76 Wow, these DNA ancestry sites sure do make for interesting family reunions! 1.5637 0.02759 651 365 205 81
77 Well it looks like one of us didn’t ’drink the Kool-Aid’ 1.5535 0.03051 551 319 159 73
78 Our lunch has arrived. 1.5518 0.01858 1515 901 400 213
79 It's even uglier when it sheds. 1.5505 0.02889 634 374 171 89
80 Can we talk about the elephant in the room? 1.5487 0.01917 1416 832 391 193
81 He looks harmless. I say we let them in. What could go wrong? 1.5486 0.02163 1121 661 305 155
82 We brought in Henry for an outsider’s perspective. He is also lunch. 1.5453 0.01890 1469 871 395 203
83 Oh my god... Lucas? From on top of the bed? 1.5432 0.02073 1250 754 314 182
84 He wants to talk to us about reflooding the swamp. 1.5414 0.02529 737 420 235 82
85 We all remember our first day on Capitol Hill. 1.5403 0.02655 720 424 203 93
86 In light of recent events, Bob will now be the face of the company. 1.5369 0.02815 609 353 185 71
87 An alien walks into a meeting. 1.5357 0.02027 1191 695 352 143
88 If we're all here, who is under Tommy's bed? 1.5354 0.02412 876 521 241 114
89 I don't need to tell you that we halted the clinical trial early. 1.5336 0.02329 907 533 264 110
90 There used to be more of these before the climate changed. 1.5325 0.02169 1046 616 303 127
91 So I’ve hired Bill as our new PR person to put a more “human face” on the company. 1.5323 0.02086 1144 677 325 142
92 We found him under our kid's bed. Explains the nightmares. 1.5321 0.02447 857 514 230 113
93 Doesn't Dave look delicious in his new suit? 1.5312 0.02915 576 339 168 69
94 Don’t worry, nobody’s draining anything. The swamp is a very important part of our base. 1.5296 0.02355 946 575 241 130
95 We’ll adjourn. Lunch has arrived. 1.5288 0.02076 1127 664 330 133
96 We all looked like you when we started here. 1.5271 0.02192 1013 599 294 120
97 We were just discussing the evolution of the company. 1.5267 0.02158 1029 605 306 118
98 Dave, we know it's your first day, but we do have a dress code. 1.5266 0.02821 545 308 187 50
99 Striped tie? You're always pushing the envelope, Dan. 1.5260 0.02552 749 444 216 89
100 He’s not easy on the eyes, but Ted’s a monster salesman. 1.5247 0.02083 1071 624 332 115
101 Ok, everyone meet Bob. Apparently we all used to live under his bed.” 1.5224 0.02214 1005 602 281 122
102 Of course we have a board room. We're monsters, not animals. 1.5198 0.02857 581 344 172 65
103 So, any other side effects to our new erectile dysfunction drug? 1.5190 0.02418 919 574 213 132
104 We've hired Mr. Bettelheim, here, as a consultant to address our 'brand' problem here at Seuss, Sendak and Rowling. 1.5185 0.02277 974 598 249 127
105 And some, we assume, are good people. 1.5184 0.02431 814 486 234 94
106 Larry's new, but he'll evolve. 1.5175 0.02877 543 316 173 54
107 I’d like you all to say hello to Bob, our new Director of Diversity. 1.5168 0.02200 1014 612 280 122
108 We can't be any scarier than the last administration. 1.5150 0.02510 769 463 216 90
109 This is Bob from Earth, he's our insider on the hostile takeover. 1.5142 0.02272 916 547 267 102
110 Let me introduce our new Diversity Officer. 1.5131 0.02187 953 570 284 99
111 That makes 4 votes to let Bob lead today’s diversity training session and 3 votes to eat him. 1.5123 0.02275 937 567 260 110
112 Shall we talk about the elephant in the room? 1.5113 0.02487 798 487 214 97
113 Everyone good with splitting the waiter? 1.5107 0.02418 840 512 227 101
114 I've called you all in to this focus group to discuss the Human Race. Are they worth saving? Bob, your thoughts? 1.5106 0.02932 564 342 156 66
115 Very scary John. You almost look human. 1.5101 0.02281 894 534 264 96
116 It's the job of this committee to determine what's funny, and we don't care how long you've been submitting captions. 1.5091 0.03061 548 341 135 72
117 Lunch is here. Who ordered accountant? 1.5091 0.02418 882 550 215 117
118 Why are we having all these people from shithole places coming here? 1.5086 0.03265 525 339 105 81
119 And Ted will be helping us improve our people skills! 1.5064 0.03317 391 230 125 36
120 I thought you ordered Chinese. 1.5060 0.02478 834 521 204 109
121 We've listened to your excuse "I'm only human" for the last time! 1.5050 0.03540 400 248 102 50
122 So we're going with "Side effects include fatigue, nausea and transfiguration into alien form." 1.5035 0.02653 717 447 179 91
123 Some side effects are always possible when you begin a new medication 1.5033 0.02484 763 463 216 84
124 And that’s when Frank realized he brought the wrong brownies for lunch. 1.5029 0.02476 865 551 193 121
125 I think we've filled our diversity quota. 1.5028 0.02323 881 537 245 99
126 He’s not our usual kind of slimy, but he did work on Wall Street. 1.5018 0.02966 558 345 146 67
127 And now a word from the man who brought us genetic engineering 1.5000 0.02659 668 408 186 74
128 This is Bob. He saw our listing on Monster.com. 1.4993 0.02620 721 450 181 88
129 “He’s from a small planet on a distant galaxy and he wants us to help his dad ‘get something’ on somebody named Joe Biden.” 1.4984 0.02910 630 405 136 89
130 I see lunch has arrived 1.4982 0.02415 833 516 219 98
131 Nice costume, Frank. 1.4961 0.02481 770 474 210 86
132 I know you wanted Mexican or Chinese, but American isn't that bad. 1.4954 0.02502 767 475 204 88
133 Mr. Darwin, I believe, has a few questions. 1.4950 0.03073 499 307 137 55
134 This is the monster I was telling you about. 1.4948 0.02448 762 469 213 80
135 This is Gary, he's our appetizer... 1.4944 0.02536 801 511 184 106
136 Excellent, lunch is here. 1.4935 0.02490 772 479 205 88
137 It appears the fence was not all that effective 1.4935 0.02968 535 330 146 59
138 As you can see, lunch has arrived. 1.4934 0.02594 752 477 179 96
139 He said that he wanted to work where his 'white, male privilege' wasn't an issue. 1.4931 0.02723 655 409 169 77
140 Everyone, meet Bob. We've brought him 60 million light years from his home planet to teach us PowerPoint. 1.4912 0.03564 399 254 94 51
141 Don't believe what you see- it's a fake vision. 1.4910 0.02816 725 489 117 119
142 Who’s this weirdo!! 1.4903 0.03320 463 296 107 60
143 ...I’m kidding, he’s here to audit us 1.4903 0.02602 667 407 193 67
144 Our guest will read excepts from his new book "Where the Mild things Are." 1.4890 0.02662 681 427 175 79
145 Let's all welcome Ted to the Extinct Species Group! 1.4877 0.02636 693 435 178 80
146 Mr. Darwin would like to ask a few questions 1.4862 0.02599 689 428 187 74
147 The question is, can he adapt? 1.4859 0.02904 533 327 153 53
148 This meeting of the Chernobyl Alumni Association will now come to order. 1.4853 0.02704 647 405 170 72
149 Here's the human I was telling you about -- he survived climate change because he was on a mission to Mars. 1.4852 0.03028 472 286 143 43
150 Sorry Ted, you want the third floor. This is Inhuman Resources. 1.4850 0.02667 668 423 168 77
151 If you're not at the table, you're on the menu. 1.4850 0.02526 734 458 196 80
152 Don't worry, President Trump is not really draining the swamp. 1.4850 0.02673 699 447 165 87
153 We are going to take a break now because, as you can see, lunch just arrived. 1.4845 0.02540 708 438 197 73
154 This is Glenn, from auditing. He has scared far more people than all you monsters combined. 1.4835 0.02696 699 451 158 90
155 Remember, talk slowly and keep it simple. 1.4804 0.02601 664 411 187 66
156 Before we adjourn forever, let’s thank Jeff for dreaming us. 1.4794 0.03092 486 305 129 52
157 Mr. Darwin will be helping us with the selection process. 1.4787 0.02618 658 409 183 66
158 Thank you, Bob. Mansplaining is new to us, but I guess we'll get used to it. 1.4778 0.02951 496 304 147 45
159 Don’t bring your white male privilege in here Brad . 1.4765 0.03242 426 265 119 42
160 If it’s Sunday, it’s eat the press! 1.4764 0.03032 508 321 132 55
161 Looks like lunch is here.... 1.4759 0.02697 643 407 166 70
162 You're a token, get used to it. 1.4755 0.02769 612 388 157 67
163 Greg enjoyed morning briefings more when he was high as a kite. 1.4754 0.02833 610 393 144 73
164 Welcome to the Forum of American Monsters. President Trump will be joining us shortly. 1.4751 0.03219 482 313 109 60
165 He's the new affirmative action hire. 1.4750 0.03674 320 197 94 29
166 It's unanimous, then We will deny that our E.D. medicine causes any side effects! 1.4748 0.02889 575 368 141 66
167 Good news everyone! The Far Side is coming back and full employment won't be far behind 1.4748 0.02878 575 367 143 65
168 We're helping the President build a different kind of swamp. 1.4745 0.02790 628 405 148 75
169 Bill is a special emissary from Washington D.C. He wants to know if we have have any dirt on the Bidens. 1.4720 0.02973 553 358 129 66
170 On advice of counsel, I will not be hiding under Timmy's bed this evening. 1.4716 0.02994 564 370 122 72
171 Since it's Chuck's nightmare, I say we let him chair. 1.4714 0.02713 611 384 166 61
172 I've been told we've been lacking the "human touch." 1.4711 0.02752 605 383 159 63
173 That’s the best Jared Kushner costume I’ve seen this season, Yarog. 1.4703 0.02846 572 364 147 61
174 I'd like to introduce a young up-and-comer to the group. This is Jared. 1.4692 0.03331 439 285 102 52
175 OK, be honest, who wet their pants when they first saw him? 1.4681 0.03549 376 242 92 42
176 If you don't have a seat at the table,you're on the menu. 1.4678 0.02830 605 393 141 71
177 Do we hire it or eat it. Let's vote. 1.4677 0.02778 588 373 155 60
178 I've brought in a human to speak to us about the new meat alternative." 1.4672 0.03152 458 291 120 47
179 We hired him on Monster.com. 1.4670 0.02875 546 346 145 55
180 On earth they call this "affirmative action" . 1.4668 0.02890 557 357 140 60
181 Yes, the job's a nightmare, but we offer free dental. 1.4664 0.02999 521 335 129 57
182 Congrats on the scariest Halloween costume yet: a Republican 1.4652 0.02965 589 394 116 79
183 Wayne is here to discuss diversity and tolerance. Don't eat this one. 1.4649 0.02786 570 360 155 55
184 Our new hire's from Earth. But keep him off the books: He's a undocumented alien. 1.4640 0.02848 556 354 146 56
185 I know what you’re thinking, but Pete is an absolute beast when it comes to spreadsheets. 1.4640 0.03453 375 238 100 37
186 First, the good news. The experiment was a success! That’s also the bad news. 1.4626 0.03093 441 275 128 38
187 Oh good, the exotic dancer is here! 1.4625 0.02999 506 324 130 52
188 Everybody o.k. with Italian? 1.4623 0.02900 530 337 141 52
189 I know what you all must be thinking. He hasn't lost his humanity yet. 1.4621 0.03243 422 268 113 41
190 Gary is going to help with our expansion into the vital attic and closet markets. 1.4620 0.02931 552 359 131 62
191 This cabinet was vetted by the White House. 1.4606 0.03460 406 267 91 48
192 I'd like to introduce Larry, the monster on top of the bed. 1.4595 0.03006 555 370 115 70
193 His name is Steven Spielberg, and he says he can make us all rich and famous 1.4593 0.03196 455 295 111 49
194 Help yourself to the mushrooms. Then join us. 1.4591 0.03006 501 322 128 51
195 Who ordered take-out? 1.4579 0.03041 522 344 117 61
196 We're hoping he's going to explain to us why they wear "clothes". 1.4571 0.02918 525 337 136 52
197 When Earth sends its people, they're not sending their best... 1.4558 0.03928 294 190 74 30
198 I’ll keep this brief. I know how swamped you all are. 1.4554 0.02864 516 326 145 45
199 Let the record show we have met our diversity goals. 1.4553 0.02934 492 311 138 43
200 I’d like to welcome a new member to the Extinct Society. Say hello to to the last living Republican. 1.4553 0.03113 514 344 106 64
201 He represents a market we can no longer ignore. 1.4550 0.03009 433 267 135 31
202 If we drain the swamp, where will we go? 1.4549 0.02902 532 343 136 53
203 You wanted diversity – this is what diversity looks like. 1.4545 0.02881 528 338 140 50
204 If you want to blend in, lose the suit. We're business casual. 1.4531 0.03132 426 269 121 36
205 And now a report from human resources. 1.4530 0.03119 479 314 113 52
206 This is Kenny, our new Diversity & Inclusion officer. 1.4528 0.03028 477 306 126 45
207 Disregard his hideous looks and remember he’s a computer whiz. 1.4528 0.02903 519 333 137 49
208 Meet our new intern, Mr. Sendak. 1.4514 0.02953 494 316 133 45
209 Looks like HR sent us an actual human resource. 1.4512 0.02852 512 324 145 43
210 This is Dave. He’ll be providing lunch. 1.4512 0.03021 512 337 119 56
211 Don’t look at us... We all got vaccinated. 1.4474 0.03802 304 197 78 29
212 All in favor of Ralph joining us for lunch say, "yum". 1.4467 0.03088 488 323 112 53
213 Bob from R&D is here today to introduce a new concept called "clothing." 1.4465 0.03028 486 317 121 48
214 Not scary? He's a climate scientist. 1.4463 0.03272 419 274 103 42
215 Enough of ‘to err is human’ excuses, Ralph. 1.4460 0.03134 435 280 116 39
216 Roger here is one of our diversity hires. 1.4459 0.03138 444 288 114 42
217 There is nothing scarier than being audited. 1.4452 0.03141 465 307 109 49
218 Shall we give humanity a seat at the table? 1.4452 0.02959 465 295 133 37
219 Lunch has finally arrived. And so fresh. 1.4444 0.03068 477 313 116 48
220 Jeremy, here, is a legacy. And his father was delicious! 1.4436 0.04051 266 173 68 25
221 Don’t worry about his appearance, he still has a reptilian brain. 1.4427 0.03071 454 294 119 41
222 He is not "just" a diversity hire. 1.4422 0.03692 303 194 84 25
223 The Republicans decide to conduct their own impeachment inquiry. 1.4415 0.03731 342 230 73 39
224 Our management consultant, here, is ready to discuss our Myers-Briggs results. 1.4409 0.03406 381 250 94 37
225 His DNA might say human, but he identifies as one of us! 1.4407 0.03375 413 277 90 46
226 "And now, Mr. Jones will be leading us in our annual diversity training session." 1.4405 0.03180 395 251 114 30
227 What? Too anthropomorphic? 1.4405 0.03587 336 219 86 31
228 'They were out of donuts." 1.4403 0.03174 461 308 103 50
229 He's a diversity hire. 1.4401 0.02999 459 295 126 38
230 Sydney's an attorney, so I'm sure he'll fit right in. 1.4401 0.03093 459 301 114 44
231 So this is where the wild things went. 1.4393 0.03380 412 277 89 46
232 We have come to a consensus. You are officially on the endangered species list. 1.4387 0.03452 351 227 94 30
233 Everyone, I just want to say how proud I am of the way we've brought employee diversity to a whole new level 1.4384 0.03418 349 224 97 28
234 As part of the new Diversity program, our new intern, Bob, will be starting today. Make him feel welcome and do not eat him. 1.4378 0.03089 450 294 115 41
235 No matter where you’re from, accountants always look the same. 1.4375 0.03114 448 294 112 42
236 Don't let his looks fool you. He worked at the White House. He's a true monster. 1.4372 0.03356 430 293 86 51
237 Everyone give a warm welcome to our token white guy. 1.4347 0.03278 398 261 101 36
238 Do any of these beings look like the one in your nightmare? 1.4345 0.03196 435 289 103 43
239 I'm happy to report that productivity is up 20% since we hired someone with opposable thumbs. 1.4341 0.03171 417 272 109 36
240 No Frank, even if everyone thought Phil here looked delicious, it is completely inappropriate to say "you look tasty" or "I'd love to eat you" and does create a hostile work environment. 1.4340 0.03417 394 265 87 42
241 Phil is here to help us with our image. 1.4339 0.02974 431 273 129 29
242 So you've found where we are, Mr.Sendak! 1.4339 0.03201 431 286 103 42
243 Imagine, ears! 1.4331 0.03299 381 248 101 32
244 This is Bill - fresh out of college, he’s going teach us old dinosaurs how to perform simple maneuvers on an iPhone. 1.4329 0.03429 395 267 85 43
245 What do you mean you’re only human..? We’re sick and tired of that excuse! 1.4328 0.03355 372 243 97 32
246 ...AND, he says we would all own the swamp together and each get four weekends there every year! 1.4316 0.03348 373 244 97 32
247 The Supreme Court declared corporations are human beings but wait until you hear this. 1.4315 0.03554 343 227 84 32
248 This cabinet meeting will come to order. First, we'll hear from the Secretary of Homeland Security about the deportation of aliens. 1.4313 0.03249 422 282 98 42
249 This is not what we meant by Human Resources. 1.4312 0.03522 327 212 89 26
250 Corporate says we have to display more diversity, so get this guy a chair and something to do. 1.4310 0.03207 420 278 103 39
251 He's a part of our diversity policy. 1.4304 0.03360 381 252 94 35
252 I told you we should have built that wall! 1.4300 0.03396 400 271 86 43
253 Jared here wants to know if we have another swamp monster to replace Rudy Giuliani. 1.4275 0.03423 407 280 80 47
254 OK who ordered the human tartare? 1.4273 0.03621 337 226 78 33
255 Trust me. He's as weird as the rest of us. 1.4272 0.03196 405 266 105 34
256 Don't give me that 'Darwin' crap! I didn't evolve from something that looks like that. 1.4270 0.03471 370 252 80 38
257 He usually works from home planet. 1.4267 0.03426 389 264 84 41
258 T'nod llet siht yug, tub ew tae elpoep. 1.4267 0.04342 225 149 56 20
259 So we're agreed: no collusion, no obstruction, no quid pro quo. 1.4263 0.03665 312 206 78 27
260 Who, him? He's just my emotional support human. 1.4254 0.03275 355 228 103 24
261 Mr. Busby from HR will now say a few words about work place safety, how to enter and leave little Billy's bedroom without any more Workmans Comp injuries. 1.4250 0.03261 400 268 95 37
262 Let’s eat, I mean MEET our new cartoonist! 1.4250 0.03223 400 267 99 34
263 I’ve asked Bob from HR to join us for lunch. 1.4250 0.03280 400 267 96 37
264 He's an illegal alien but aren't we all. 1.4249 0.04278 233 155 57 21
265 Let us welcome the newest member of our endangered species group. 1.4246 0.03234 398 263 101 34
266 Have you met Mr. Sendak? 1.4242 0.03265 396 266 92 37
267 Welcome to the first meeting of the Diversity Committee. This white man will take your lunch orders. 1.4242 0.03342 396 267 90 39
268 Todd from marketing is rebranding us from scary monsters to diverse, under the bed companions. 1.4239 0.03276 394 265 94 35
269 Who brought their attorney?” 1.4235 0.03248 392 259 100 33
270 Mr. Henderson merely wishes to know which one of you ate his secretary? 1.4231 0.03198 390 255 105 30
271 I am glad to announce that we've all received our green cards except for Ignatio, here. 1.4231 0.03260 390 258 99 33
272 Try not to judge him by his appearance. 1.4230 0.03448 357 238 87 32
273 He is joining us from human resources 1.4218 0.03508 358 244 78 36
274 Of course, we couldn't drain the entire swamp. 1.4218 0.03441 358 239 87 32
275 If this is their leader, I don’t think we have much to worry about. 1.4213 0.03385 356 235 92 29
276 He's part of our affirmative action commitment. 1.4212 0.03260 349 224 103 22
277 Let's all welcome tonight's dinner guest. 1.4208 0.03267 385 255 98 32
278 Oh, good, dinner is here. 1.4208 0.03389 385 261 86 38
279 So, you're the diversity hire. 1.4208 0.03205 385 252 104 29
280 I've brought in Ted here to help us better understand what 'selling our soul to become a Trump cabinet member' really meant 1.4204 0.03520 383 266 73 44
281 Now, now, there's room for everyone at the table of Welikum, Raw, Bones & All." 1.4204 0.03481 383 264 77 42
282 Who's the weirdo? 1.4204 0.03362 383 258 89 36
283 Our press secretary will, once again, deny any rumors about Area 51 1.4203 0.03672 345 238 69 38
284 'Boot-edge-edge.' It's pronounced "Boot-edge-edge.' 1.4199 0.03333 381 255 92 34
285 Guess who didn't get the 'Business Casual Friday' memo. 1.4191 0.03357 377 253 90 34
286 Our ride is here. Put your human costumes on and let’s head back to the White House. 1.4188 0.03507 382 265 74 43
287 Stop drooling, Doug, we're not going to eat him right now. First, we have to pick his brain. 1.4187 0.03327 375 250 93 32
288 Good News! Bill says our efforts are working - earth will soon be warm enough for all of us. 1.4187 0.03349 375 252 88 34
289 Is it already “take your human to work” day again? 1.4177 0.03610 328 221 77 30
290 He’s not extinct yet, but he’d like to join the waiting list. 1.4167 0.03301 372 247 95 30
291 Bob here is the genius lawyer who got us the Ark exemptions. 1.4159 0.03622 339 232 73 34
292 I know, he freaks me out too. 1.4159 0.03500 339 227 83 29
293 Today's brownbag will be Bob from Human Resources. 1.4159 0.03500 339 227 83 29
294 Let's take a break - I see our lunch just arrived. 1.4158 0.03304 368 244 95 29
295 This is Rex, our new species conflict resolution manager. 1.4158 0.03370 368 247 89 32
296 All in favor, raise your ... never mind just say "aye". 1.4148 0.03505 364 250 77 37
297 Bob's our new P.R. guy, he's going to help us with changing the name of our planet, from Uranus, so we're no longer a laughing stock. 1.4144 0.04827 181 122 43 16
298 On a lighter note, the suit here is concerned about the claw marks on the table. 1.4144 0.03152 362 242 95 24
299 So guys, this is my idea for this year’s Halloween costume trend 1.4144 0.03341 362 241 92 29
300 Let’s all welcome Joe, who brings our first opposable thumbs to our team. 1.4142 0.03353 367 246 90 31
301 Deplorables, I'd like you to meet human scum 1.4139 0.03422 360 243 85 32
302 Find an open seat. There’s no reason to feel alienated. 1.4139 0.03330 360 239 93 28
303 Mr. Brooks left his last company due to feelings of alienation. 1.4134 0.03296 358 236 96 26
304 I know it looks uncomfortable, but it's just for the congressional hearing. 1.4110 0.03650 309 208 75 26
305 Great . . .now that we're all here, who's under the bed tonight? 1.4103 0.03458 351 239 79 32
306 Jeff, the costume party is tomorrow. 1.4103 0.03505 351 240 78 33
307 We'd like to discuss your feeling alienated. 1.4101 0.03584 317 213 78 26
308 He can’t slash, or ooze, or teleport, or even feed on blood. Still, his parents are huge donors, so I say we give him a chance. 1.4098 0.03654 305 205 75 25
309 This is Ed. He's part of our diversity initiative. 1.4095 0.03683 315 215 71 29
310 Lunch is here. 1.4092 0.03510 347 237 78 32
311 We’re here to address the ridiculous claim that our fracking is causing health issues! 1.4092 0.03557 347 239 74 34
312 Relax guys, he's a lawyer. 1.4092 0.03339 347 230 92 25
313 Welcome our lunch guest. 1.4092 0.03364 347 231 90 26
314 He puts the ‘human’ in Human Resources! 1.4092 0.03438 347 234 84 29
315 Auditors, always the scariest person in the room. 1.4087 0.03402 345 231 87 27
316 He's from the Space Force and wants to know what we have on the Bidens. 1.4087 0.03571 345 238 73 34
317 Friends, I’d like to address the human in the room. 1.4087 0.03302 345 227 95 23
318 Hey everyone, meet my new friend John, a creationist. 1.4084 0.03426 311 203 89 19
319 Our new intern Bob is a "vegetarian." That means that he doesn't taste like meat. 1.4082 0.03674 316 216 71 29
320 I'd like to introduce Monster.com's new Chief Diversity Officer. 1.4082 0.03441 343 231 84 28
321 He has to guess which one of us is illegal. 1.4082 0.03514 343 234 78 31
322 Let's all welcome Bob to the diversity and inclusion committee. 1.4082 0.03391 343 229 88 26
323 And now here's Tim with an update from Area 51. 1.4082 0.03490 343 233 80 30
324 We regret that your ancestors were not chosen for the ark, but we cannot offer you reparations. 1.4080 0.03995 299 212 52 35
325 It calls itself a 'human,' and our studies show it alone can destroy a world in just over 200,000 years! 1.4076 0.03634 314 213 74 27
326 I am thrilled to present the captain of our new diversity initiative” 1.4076 0.03404 341 228 87 26
327 I think we all agree that Johnson here has the best Halloween costume. 1.4076 0.03479 341 231 81 29
328 I'd like to introduce Bob, our new director of diversity. 1.4076 0.03353 341 226 91 24
329 Just remember: we’re all ‘acting’ Cabinet members. 1.4076 0.03528 341 233 77 31
330 Whoever doesn't have a seat at the table is on the menu. 1.4059 0.03510 340 232 78 30
331 I blame myself. I should have insisted on free vaccinations for all. 1.4058 0.03712 308 211 69 28
332 I know, I know, but my daughter intends to marry him in June. 1.4036 0.03412 332 222 86 24
333 Its called a human. We're told they do not feel pain the same way we do. 1.4032 0.03817 253 167 70 16
334 Hey, great costume, Ned! 1.4024 0.03493 328 222 80 26
335 It had been years since Simon, the accountant had checked on his imaginary friends and he was pleased to find them in the middle of a finance meeting. 1.4024 0.03572 328 225 74 29
336 Please give a warm welcome to our very first Director of Human Resources. 1.4024 0.03439 328 220 84 24
337 Yes, his membership in The Extinction Club is provisional, for now, but I'm confident he'll be full-fledged well before the next millennium. 1.4024 0.03439 328 220 84 24
338 Strange.. He has a tail on his neck! 1.4018 0.03508 326 221 79 26
339 Our research indicates that this is what we will look like 100 million years from now. 1.4018 0.03561 326 223 75 28
340 Carl is here for lunch. 1.4018 0.03666 326 227 67 32
341 And this was our original form before genetic engineering. 1.4018 0.03691 326 228 65 33
342 I’ve decided to shake things up around here by bringing in some warm blood. 1.4018 0.03508 326 221 79 26
343 I told you he was real. 1.4018 0.03398 326 217 87 22
344 It’s Okay, Rudy Sent Him. 1.4018 0.03742 326 230 61 35
345 I’ve got to hand it to you Bill, that is one scary costume. 1.4012 0.03576 324 222 74 28
346 Meet our new writer. He specializes in human interest stories, whatever those are. 1.4012 0.03522 324 220 78 26
347 But does he “spark joy”? 1.4008 0.04017 242 163 61 18
348 This is Jeff, our new diversity consultant 1.4006 0.03454 322 216 83 23
349 Our commitment to diversity is evident. 1.4006 0.03398 322 214 87 21
350 Thanks everyone for taking the time to come along during your lunch break, and I'm sorry for the secrecy around the purpose of the meeting. You may not remember this man but he sure as sure remembers you. Greg, it's time to face your inner demons. 1.4006 0.03698 322 225 65 32
351 Before we take over their planet, Dan here needs to explain the intricacies of property law. 1.4000 0.03552 320 218 76 26
352 He’s from ICE. Anyone here undocumented? 1.4000 0.03661 320 222 68 30
353 Okay, it looks like lunch has arrived. 1.4000 0.03607 320 220 72 28
354 I motion to admit this honest congressman to The Society of Imaginary Beings. 1.4000 0.03714 320 224 64 32
355 This is Ted from the IRS. I know he doesn't look it but, trust me, come April no one is scarier. 1.3994 0.03539 318 216 77 25
356 It's tradition for new employees to lick the reactor. 1.3993 0.03926 278 193 58 26
357 His preferred pronouns are he, him, his. 1.3993 0.03652 278 185 75 18
358 He didn't quite catch on when I said he was invited for lunch. Who wants to break it to him? 1.3987 0.03638 316 218 70 28
359 I know, but unfortunately we are still required to have one human on the board. 1.3987 0.03526 316 214 78 24
360 First things first: you can’t eat Joe, our new diversity hire. 1.3987 0.03440 316 218 72 24
361 I'm all for diversity in the boardroom, but bringing in a middle-aged white guy is a bit over the top... 1.3987 0.03611 316 217 72 27
362 We 're calling it the "corporate lobbyist". Sure, it's not as flashy and instantaneous as the gamma pulse death ray, but the R&D guys downstairs assure us it will be far more destructive. 1.3987 0.03747 316 222 62 32
363 Would the owner of the white Subaru parked out front please move your vehicle? 1.3969 0.03928 257 175 62 20
364 By my count, the predators have it. You vegans can eat his clothes. 1.3968 0.03561 315 215 75 25
365 Now that we’ve all had a good laugh, Dave can change out of his costume and we’ll get back to work. 1.3955 0.03562 311 212 75 24
366 Ah! Lunch! 1.3950 0.03956 281 198 55 28
367 He followed me here. Can I keep him? 1.3950 0.03656 281 189 73 19
368 Now that we're a majority of this zoo's board, do I hear a motion to open all cages and gates? 1.3948 0.03750 309 217 62 30
369 The business lunch special okay with everyone? 1.3948 0.03665 309 214 68 27
370 Sorry, I’m late. Took me light years to get here. 1.3943 0.03742 279 190 68 21
371 Fred is not on our menu this evening. He is on our endangered species list. 1.3941 0.03504 307 207 79 21
372 He was previously a lawyer at the White House... he should fit right in. 1.3941 0.03767 307 216 61 30
373 I know some of you wanted me to order Indian for lunch, but I went with American. 1.3941 0.03681 307 213 67 27
374 This model is called charmless bureaucrat. 1.3934 0.03639 305 210 70 25
375 I know what you're thinking,but let's give him a chance. 1.3934 0.03488 305 205 80 20
376 I’d like to introduce our new Human Resources Director. 1.3934 0.03669 305 211 68 26
377 All those in favor of tagging and releasing the species raise your right claw. 1.3934 0.03609 305 209 72 24
378 He's not a monster, but he thinks like one. 1.3934 0.03549 305 207 76 22
379 This meeting looks like a New Yorker cartoon. 1.3933 0.03784 267 181 67 19
380 Get used to it, guys - it's all about diversity 1.3927 0.03564 303 206 75 22
381 And we're now live to the President's Cabinet meeting! 1.3927 0.03625 303 212 63 26
382 Yes, he's scary-looking. But let's not prejudge. 1.3927 0.03625 303 208 71 24
383 So we're all decided on lunch. 1.3927 0.03655 303 209 69 25
384 Please welcome the winner of this year’s Halloween costume contest. 1.3920 0.03672 301 208 68 25
385 Yes, an Equal Opportunity hire. 1.3920 0.03732 301 210 64 27
386 Everyone, say hi to Phil. Phil is providing lunch for us today! 1.3920 0.03641 301 207 70 24
387 He's with ICE and wants to see our papers. 1.3913 0.03749 299 209 63 27
388 After a rigorous hiring process, I decided to go with The Devil You Know. 1.3913 0.03501 299 201 79 19
389 Ronald will present the third quarter results. Let's not eat the messenger. 1.3913 0.03469 299 200 81 18
390 I'd like to introduce Stan. Stan is from Roswell, New Mexico. 1.3907 0.03809 302 214 58 30
391 Don’t laugh. He was born that way. 1.3906 0.03484 297 199 80 18
392 Harold recommends against investing in the planet earth until after 2020. 1.3899 0.05421 159 115 26 18
393 Say hi to Kevin; he’s our new inter-species intern. 1.3898 0.03499 295 198 79 18
394 Tech sent him over 1.3898 0.03628 295 202 71 22
395 As usual, we’ll wrap up with Bob’s always amusing update on human affairs. 1.3897 0.03573 290 196 75 19
396 Polish, charm, a can-do attitude... from now on, we only eat MBAs. 1.3891 0.03832 293 207 58 28
397 Trust me, he's a monster in the courtroom. 1.3891 0.03547 293 203 68 22
398 Humans are good, they taste like chicken. 1.3885 0.03618 296 203 71 22
399 Meet our new head of Human Resources. 1.3883 0.03693 291 201 67 23
400 After he is here a while he won’t seem so scary 1.3875 0.03612 289 197 72 20
401 This is Phil, our diversity hire. 1.3875 0.03612 289 197 72 20
402 Ed is our new accountant. We need an accountant, so please don't eat this one. 1.3875 0.03711 289 200 66 23
403 He’s my great, great, great, great, great nephew. He’ll start in the mailroom, and no snide remarks on his looks. 1.3870 0.03651 292 201 69 22
404 HR says we may have to expand the list of accepted pronouns. 1.3868 0.03990 243 167 58 18
405 Let's all welcome Charlie from Marketing, who uses the pronouns he and him. 1.3868 0.03726 243 161 70 12
406 He’s white, he’s human-we think he’s electable. 1.3868 0.03662 287 197 69 21
407 Now I know none of us enjoy these diversity training exercises, but let's hear what Bill from HR has to say before we devour him. 1.3868 0.03760 287 200 63 24
408 Nice costume, Fred. Where'd you find the tie? 1.3860 0.03712 285 197 66 22
409 You'll trust me when I say he's loathsome where it counts. 1.3860 0.03811 285 200 60 25
410 The winner of this years "Scariest Costume" contest is Bill, who came cleverly disguised as a staunch Republican! 1.3860 0.03907 285 203 54 28
411 We finally hired the scariest monster of all: a white man with no relevant experience but lots of ideas for our company. 1.3860 0.03907 285 203 54 28
412 Don’t worry. As a lawyer, he’s barely human. 1.3843 0.03538 281 189 76 16
413 Monsters, I present to you one of the scariest creatures of all: a lawyer. 1.3821 0.03888 280 199 55 26
414 Did someone order a human from Grubhub? 1.3821 0.03720 280 194 65 21
415 I’m happy to report that our diversity initiative has been wildly successful. 1.3821 0.03788 280 196 61 23
416 He won our last Caption Contest 1.3813 0.03738 278 193 64 21
417 As part of the out-of-court settlement, Timmy is now going to explain the effect having us all in his closet has had on his self-esteem and difficulty forming relationships. 1.3813 0.03560 278 192 68 18
418 Late again, Earth -- go get the coffee. 1.3813 0.03668 278 191 68 19
419 Jeff will add some much needed diversity to the board 1.3813 0.03632 278 190 70 18
420 . . . and because he will be my acting Secretary he doesn't need senate confirmation. 1.3813 0.03668 278 191 68 19
421 So we bought the whole planet and this guy was part of the deal. 1.3813 0.03560 278 188 74 16
422 Finally will have some diversity on the board. 1.3813 0.03772 278 194 62 22
423 He's from Human Resources. 1.3813 0.03703 278 192 66 20
424 Meet Billy. He is not to be eaten. 1.3813 0.03807 278 195 60 23
425 Meet our new head of Diversity and Inclusion. 1.3813 0.03560 278 193 67 18
426 Our company is evolving Jake. Don't be left behind. 1.3804 0.03649 276 189 69 18
427 Interplanetary Impeachment council gathered to vote on the impeachment of Trump from the galaxy. 1.3804 0.04059 276 201 45 30
428 And for Bring an Alien to Work Day, I've brought Sid... 1.3804 0.03649 276 189 69 18
429 We're phasing out hiding in closets at night, but here's Hank to tell us how to annoy people on buses. 1.3804 0.03791 276 193 61 22
430 Shall we get this presidential cabinet meeting started? 1.3804 0.03927 276 197 53 26
431 This is our new hire in marketing. He’s got some great ideas that will give the firm a human face. 1.3804 0.03685 276 190 67 19
432 Rudy here says he has no problem representing slimeballs. 1.3804 0.03720 276 191 65 20
433 I'd like to introduce our new legal council, Rudy Giuliani. Rudy here specializes in representing monsters 1.3804 0.04026 276 200 47 29
434 Yeah, he looks harmless at first. But then the entitlement comes out! 1.3804 0.03825 276 194 59 23
435 Hey everybody, I finally found the guy who's been hiding on top of our beds. 1.3804 0.03859 276 195 57 24
436 Please welcome our newest monster: "Creature of Habit." 1.3796 0.03913 274 195 54 25
437 Oh great, another affirmative action hire... 1.3796 0.03738 274 190 64 20
438 Ok, so you guys wanna split this one or get a few more? 1.3796 0.03844 274 193 58 23
439 I guess SOMEONE decided to dress up for Halloween. 1.3796 0.03592 274 186 72 16
440 I’d like to convene the meeting of the survivors of the Trump cabinet. 1.3796 0.03879 274 194 56 24
441 Don't worry, he's more afraid of us than we are of him. 1.3796 0.03809 274 192 60 22
442 Again with the clothes! 1.3796 0.03809 274 192 60 22
443 Oh thank goodness. We're finally getting some diversity in this office! 1.3796 0.03774 274 191 62 21
444 We finally have a species on the team who knows how to wreak havoc at scale. 1.3796 0.03844 274 193 58 23
445 This is Allen, our new assistant manager -- or if he doesn't work out, lunch. 1.3796 0.03738 274 190 64 20
446 Oh boy, look what corporate brought in 1.3796 0.03738 274 190 64 20
447 Let's show the new guy we're not a bunch of monsters. 1.3796 0.03774 274 191 62 21
448 Let's give a warm welcome to our newest White House hire. 1.3787 0.03828 272 191 59 22
449 And it's fair to say, that none of us would even be here without the Administration's de-regulation of pesticides. 1.3787 0.04035 272 197 47 28
450 Welcome to human sensitivity training. 1.3787 0.03609 272 185 71 16
451 HR needs our pronouns. Everyone still using 'it'?" 1.3787 0.03828 272 191 59 22
452 Don't worry, he won't eat you. 1.3787 0.03683 272 187 67 18
453 HR has advised that we may no longer use Monster.com as our sole recruiting channel. 1.3787 0.03828 272 191 59 22
454 Sam's pronouns are it and it. 1.3783 0.04227 230 163 47 20
455 Mr. Darwin will set a new course in the evolution of our company. 1.3783 0.04271 230 164 45 21
456 Now here' s the deal; he'll fund our little project if we promise to dig up some dirt on his good buddy, the hunter. 1.3779 0.04157 217 150 52 15
457 Let's all give a big Trump White House welcome to our newest cabinet member. 1.3778 0.03882 270 191 56 23
458 Don't worry, he's our lawyer, he's just as slimy as the rest of us. 1.3778 0.03918 270 192 54 24
459 And this is our candidate for a new species. 1.3778 0.03738 270 187 64 19
460 I know he's no monster, but he is an attorney which is the best we could do on short notice. 1.3778 0.03953 270 193 52 25
461 It will have to lose the suit. 1.3778 0.03701 270 186 66 18
462 We're pretty informal here, George. Once you take off those clothes, I'm sure you'll fit in nicely with the other Directors. 1.3778 0.03701 270 186 66 18
463 Diverse teams are high-performing teams, so let’s welcome Alan! 1.3778 0.03625 270 184 70 16
464 Tim is here to humansplain the pitfalls of corporate diversity initiatives. 1.3769 0.03681 268 184 67 17
465 Rudy here says his boss will give us the Earth if we just eat all the Democrats. 1.3769 0.03902 268 190 55 23
466 No one said that speed dating would be easy. 1.3766 0.04075 231 161 53 17
467 Look at him, wearing a suit on casual Friday. 1.3759 0.03885 266 188 56 22
468 This might be a good time to remind everyone of the new company policy, no eating the interns. 1.3759 0.03736 266 184 64 18
469 I call to order this meeting of the Comcast board of directors. 1.3759 0.03993 266 191 50 25
470 So, what does Dr. Seuss want us to rhyme with this time? 1.3755 0.04191 229 162 48 19
471 Bob here would like to join our Rare Species Board. He's a white middle aged male whose only had one job. 1.3750 0.03793 264 184 61 19
472 He's here to drain the swamp. 1.3750 0.03638 264 182 66 16
473 Our new employee comes from the White House .... and they call us monsters?! 1.3750 0.03978 264 189 51 24
474 Yes, we ARE feeling alienated. 1.3750 0.03755 264 183 63 18
475 Yes, Karen, HR has advised our new hire about your preferred pronoun, "it". 1.3745 0.03979 235 163 56 16
476 We found him in Area 51. 1.3740 0.03635 262 183 61 17
477 Two arms? Sorry -- they meet across the hall. 1.3740 0.03812 262 183 60 19
478 He’s scary looking, but I think he’ll fit in here. 1.3740 0.03734 262 181 64 17
479 That's not his skin. It's the wrapper. 1.3740 0.03695 262 180 66 16
480 Who's game for a little white meat? 1.3740 0.03734 262 181 64 17
481 That's correct. He doesn't speak our language and what's more, he has no idea it's 'eat a lawyer' day. 1.3740 0.03734 262 181 64 17
482 Our guest will discuss the pros and cons of clothing. 1.3739 0.04130 230 162 50 18
483 Ok everyone, introduce yourselves to the newcomer by saying your name, your planet of origin, and uh a fun fact. 1.3731 0.03752 260 180 63 17
484 He's our affirmative action hire." 1.3731 0.03712 260 179 65 16
485 The massaged and beer fed human comes fully dressed. 1.3731 0.03945 260 185 53 22
486 Say hello to Brian. This is his first meat and greet. 1.3728 0.04246 228 163 45 20
487 Ted here is our new VP of Human Resources 1.3721 0.03850 258 181 58 19
488 He’s what they call a ‘Human Resource’. 1.3721 0.03928 258 183 54 21
489 Maybe we just need to think inside the box? 1.3721 0.03966 258 184 52 22
490 And winner of the "Despicable Monster of the Year" award goes once again to. . . Homo Sapiens. 1.3721 0.04188 258 192 37 29
491 ...and his parents worked at our Chernobyl plant! 1.3711 0.03451 256 177 66 13
492 And now, our guest speaker, discussing "Are we alone in the universe?" 1.3711 0.03749 256 177 63 16
493 Welcome to the monthly meeting of the Odd Fellows 1.3705 0.04107 224 157 51 16
494 Congratulations. The job is yours, you’re also the only applicant we decided not to eat! 1.3701 0.03849 254 178 58 18
495 All in favor of striking evolution from the textbooks, say “I”. 1.3701 0.04046 254 183 48 23
496 Who ordered out? 1.3701 0.03555 254 171 72 11
497 Jim here is new to the planet.... so let's give him a big warm welcome. 1.3700 0.03922 227 156 58 13
498 Did we get rid of your hiccups? 1.3700 0.03770 227 153 64 10
499 So we’re all in agreement. We stay out of Dave’s nightmares until next Tuesday. 1.3696 0.03696 257 177 65 15
500 I know we're all monsters, but who invited the lawyer? 1.3690 0.04107 252 183 45 24
501 all those in favor of telling ralph he is tripping, raise your claws. 1.3686 0.03916 255 181 54 19
502 I assure you, what he's done in the corporate world, more than qualifies him for our club. 1.3680 0.03889 250 176 56 18
503 I would like to introduce Fred from our non-GMO product line. 1.3680 0.03930 250 177 54 19
504 It's probably better if Bob speaks to the media. 1.3680 0.03889 250 176 56 17
505 Legal says that we have to start wearing clothes. 1.3680 0.03497 250 167 74 9
506 Gentlemen, lunch is here. 1.3676 0.03690 253 176 62 15
507 Then it's unanimous! Tom had this Halloween's scariest costume. 1.3676 0.03732 253 175 63 15
508 Bob is our most recent diversity hire so please don’t eat him. 1.3669 0.03825 248 173 59 16
509 Jerry is our new diversity hire, and, as usual, he'll stay for lunch. 1.3669 0.03909 248 175 55 18
510 Please welcome our new Chief Diversity Officer. 1.3669 0.03867 248 174 57 17
511 Jim is our new diversity inclusion team member--welcome him but please do not sniff, bite or probe him. 1.3669 0.03951 248 176 53 19
512 Well, I just don't see him fitting into the work group. 1.3667 0.04953 150 105 35 10
513 The vote is unanimous -- Student Loan Collector wins monster of the millennium. 1.3665 0.04881 161 114 35 12
514 Say hi to Ted, our diversity hire. 1.3659 0.03844 246 172 58 16
515 I'd like you to join me in welcoming our new Diversity Program Manager. 1.3659 0.03757 246 170 62 14
516 I've brought us a Republican. Who's eaten one before? 1.3659 0.03844 246 172 58 16
517 When they said corporate was a room full of monsters, I didn't expect this. 1.3659 0.03844 246 172 58 16
518 You can all sleep soundly, now - the gentleman here has assured me that there are no children hiding in your closets 1.3659 0.04175 246 180 42 24
519 He's our diversity candidate 1.3659 0.03887 246 173 56 17
520 Ron is our new head of diversity. 1.3655 0.03726 249 172 63 14
521 Ted is so creepy looking... wait, he's right behind me, isn't he. This is so embarrassing. 1.3648 0.03908 244 172 55 17
522 There were some unforeseen side effects from our new medication. 1.3648 0.03864 244 171 57 16
523 he's ugly but he's a darn good accountant 1.3648 0.03951 244 173 53 18
524 Now that we're all here, let's discuss climate change. 1.3641 0.04239 217 155 45 17
525 Lunch has arrived. 1.3636 0.03928 242 171 54 17
526 Stop treating him like a monster, he's just an accountant! 1.3636 0.03840 242 169 58 15
527 We're all monster's here Mr. Lauer, you'll fit right in 1.3636 0.04057 242 174 48 20
528 This is our new manicurist. 1.3636 0.04409 198 141 42 15
529 As the only carnivore at the table, I know why I am smiling , but why is he? 1.3636 0.04057 242 174 48 20
530 This was not what Brad had pictured when he decided he must meet his demons. 1.3636 0.04223 242 178 40 24
531 I’d say we have some very fine creatures on both sides! 1.3636 0.04015 242 173 50 19
532 Guys,I thought you should meet Fred. He's the man behind the dream we're in right now. 1.3636 0.03840 242 169 58 15
533 OK. Let's vote. Who is for evolution? 1.3636 0.03884 242 170 56 16
534 Whatever you do, don't mention his oupee-tay! 1.3636 0.04580 198 144 36 18
535 Believe me, when you see what this guy's managed to do with his innocent demeanor, you'll agree that he's the perfect addition to our board. 1.3636 0.04099 242 175 46 21
536 Now a warm welcome to Paul, our Human Relations consultant. 1.3636 0.03840 242 169 58 15
537 Lunch is here. Who ordered the suit? 1.3636 0.04015 242 173 50 19
538 This is Noah, who wants to take each of you, with your partner, on a cruise. 1.3632 0.04150 212 149 49 14
539 This is what they look like on planet Earth 1.3628 0.04056 215 150 52 13
540 He can stay. He’s a VP at Monsanto. 1.3628 0.04366 215 156 40 19
541 And they think global warming is not a real thing.... 1.3628 0.04464 215 158 36 21
542 All in favor of letting Chuck go extinct say 'Aye.' 1.3628 0.04265 215 154 43 17
543 I guess Carl didn’t get the naked Friday memo. 1.3628 0.04366 215 156 40 19
544 You can dress these “humans” up but I’m not convinced that they will ever be civilised! 1.3625 0.03949 240 170 53 17
545 Everyone, meet our newest member of the Astronomical Legion of Intergalactic Entities and Nations (ALIEN). Don’t worry, he may not seem qualified, but he’s part of the greediest and most brutal species I‘ve ever come across. 1.3625 0.04164 240 175 42 22
546 Cabinet meeting at 1600 Pennsylvania Ave, 2019. 1.3625 0.04122 240 174 45 21
547 Your seats are safe. He's unaware of our grass ceiling. 1.3625 0.03993 240 171 51 18
548 Ned, why don't you tell the gang a little about yourself - where ya' from, where'd you go to school, how many planets you've visited -that sort of thing. 1.3619 0.03950 210 144 56 10
549 This is Mark. He is going to talk to us today about what makes each of us unique and how that benefits the company. 1.3615 0.04134 213 150 49 14
550 Guess who didn't get the memo? 1.3615 0.04134 213 150 49 14
551 He doesn't bite. 1.3615 0.04025 213 148 53 12
552 Humans deserve a seat at the table? You're kidding me. 1.3615 0.04134 213 150 49 14
553 It tastes better than it looks. 1.3615 0.03970 213 147 55 11
554 So together I think we've got a pretty good case against Hieronymus Bosch 1.3615 0.04080 213 149 51 13
555 We really wish we could support you, Mayor Pete, but sorry, it’s just that whole g-a-y thing. 1.3615 0.04591 213 159 31 23
556 All in favor of eating the IT guy... 1.3615 0.04444 213 156 37 20
557 All those in favor say urgzwkpx. 1.3615 0.04343 213 154 41 18
558 We can use a little warm blood on this committee. 1.3615 0.04240 213 152 45 16
559 Here's our new undocumented alien. 1.3615 0.04444 213 156 37 20
560 Is it housebroken? 1.3615 0.04187 213 151 47 15
561 Apparently, in the remote future, one of us will evolve into that monster. 1.3615 0.04240 213 152 45 16
562 No, he’s no monster, but he’s a lawyer and that’s scary enough... 1.3615 0.04025 213 151 49 13
563 I'd like you all to meet Bob our new director of human resources. 1.3615 0.03914 213 146 57 10
564 I suppose I should address the 180-pound homosapien in the room. 1.3615 0.04343 213 154 41 18
565 So we all agree this Noah character is a crackpot. 1.3613 0.03834 238 166 58 14
566 Please welcome Simon, our token male board member. 1.3613 0.03834 238 166 58 14
567 For the last time Scott, the Halloween party is tomorrow. 1.3613 0.04059 238 171 48 19
568 The Thanksgiving special this year is a farm raised stuffed human. 1.3613 0.03926 238 168 54 16
569 This is Bob. He also hides under children's beds... 1.3613 0.03971 238 169 52 17
570 Can we take a minute a talk about the human in the room? 1.3602 0.03854 236 165 57 14
571 Tell the judge we have a unanimous verdict. We just ate those who disagreed. 1.3602 0.04169 236 172 43 21
572 We're all about diversity as long as the reptiles are in charge. 1.3602 0.04169 236 172 43 21
573 Please welcome Carl, our new Human Resources Director. 1.3602 0.03662 236 161 65 10
574 You must admit “no nudity” is a pretty flexible dress code. 1.3602 0.03854 236 168 54 14
575 You may he wondering why we abducted you: we need you to teach us how you make thin crust pizza. 1.3600 0.05031 150 107 32 11
576 Are you out of your mind? We are not using chopsticks. 1.3596 0.05727 114 81 25 8
577 Meet Ted, our new head of Human Resources 1.3592 0.05031 142 100 33 9
578 You’d be surprised how many want to leave their planet. 1.3590 0.04104 234 169 46 19
579 Ok, Dave, we can stay out from under Susie's bed. But the closet is fair game. 1.3590 0.04059 234 168 48 18
580 And please welcome Ralph, our new head of corporate diversity 1.3586 0.03841 237 166 57 14
581 I’m here for diversity training. 1.3586 0.03841 237 166 57 14
582 Bob is our human resource 1.3578 0.04195 204 144 47 13
583 And now, it's time for lunch. Everyone, meet Frank. 1.3578 0.04082 232 167 47 18
584 I knew dropping acid before Thanksgiving dinner would be a good idea. 1.3578 0.04173 232 169 43 20
585 So it's agreed, we keep the Endangered Species Act. 1.3578 0.03943 232 164 53 15
586 Let's give a big Galactic Extinction Club welcome to our newest member, Homo Sapiens. 1.3578 0.04082 232 167 47 18
587 I'd be willing to bet only one of us has already had coffee. 1.3578 0.03798 232 161 59 12
588 Bob will be our public face. 1.3578 0.03847 232 172 41 19
589 Well, it looks like our lunch has arrived. 1.3578 0.04036 232 166 49 17
590 Don't let his looks fool you. His entitlement is terrifying. 1.3574 0.03908 235 166 54 15
591 All in favor, raise an appendage. 1.3568 0.04205 199 140 47 12
592 Try to remember, you all started out just like him. 1.3565 0.03867 230 161 56 13
593 Can someone explain why Bob is the only one of you dressed for Halloween? 1.3565 0.04105 230 166 46 18
594 Lunch is here. Hope you don't mind white meat. 1.3565 0.03867 230 161 56 13
595 In light of recent events, Bob will be the new face of the company. 1.3565 0.03916 230 162 54 14
596 So Harry's the only one who got dressed up for Hallowe'en! 1.3565 0.03867 230 161 56 13
597 As you all know, Best Costume gets to park closest to the building for all of November. Pete, tell 'em who the winner is! 1.3565 0.03867 230 161 56 13
598 The defendant thinks we are not a jury of his peers. 1.3565 0.04151 230 167 44 19
599 Please stop your drooling. That's not what 'Human Resources' means. 1.3565 0.04059 230 165 48 17
600 Ted here is going to help us rebrand our childhood terror company as a market leader in soul-crushing tedium for adults. 1.3565 0.04242 230 169 40 21
601 Lunch has arrived. He's a stand-up comedian so he might taste a little funny. 1.3565 0.04105 230 166 46 18
602 This baker wants to use our likenesses in crackers. Are we okay with that? 1.3553 0.03631 228 155 65 8
603 Oh, come on guys. He won't bite. 1.3553 0.03787 228 158 59 11
604 And now, offering the Democratic Response... 1.3553 0.04082 228 164 47 17
605 I see our lunch has arrived. 1.3553 0.03986 228 162 51 15
606 Gentlemen, meet your worst nightmare! 1.3553 0.04082 228 164 47 17
607 HR says we have to install a gender neutral bathroom 1.3553 0.03937 228 161 53 14
608 This is Bob from Accounting. 1.3553 0.03937 228 161 53 14
609 With the addition of Bob to the Board we achieve diversity ! 1.3553 0.04082 228 164 47 17
610 No worries. He's housebroken. 1.3553 0.03888 228 160 55 13
611 Please welcome our diversity hire. 1.3550 0.03754 231 160 60 11
612 Our guest speaker today is a recruiter with Amazon. 1.3540 0.04105 226 163 46 17
613 It’s unanimous. No more GMO food. 1.3540 0.03959 226 160 52 14
614 Branding says we needed to retool the Republican predator look.” 1.3540 0.03858 226 158 56 12
615 This time we’ll be cutting back on the GMO‘s. Right? 1.3540 0.04292 226 167 38 21
616 Our presentation topic: "How to Dress for Success". 1.3540 0.04008 226 161 50 15
617 Bob comes to us from Wall Street and is going to show us how the pros execute a hostile takeover. 1.3540 0.04152 226 164 44 18
618 Everybody, say hi to Ted. Fun fact, Ted joins us from the Earth office, which was recently destroyed by climate change." 1.3527 0.04224 224 164 41 19
619 Welcome to our annual diversity training session. 1.3527 0.04080 224 161 47 16
620 Who's the suit? 1.3527 0.03980 224 159 51 14
621 Guys, it's cool—he's a Trump appointee. 1.3527 0.04271 224 165 39 20
622 Team, our bottom line needs help. I’d like you to welcome Smedley; he's more reptilian that all of us put together! 1.3527 0.03720 224 167 39 14
623 10 minutes late Carl! And I don’’t want to hear the “millions of light years commute” excuse again. 1.3527 0.04128 224 162 45 17
624 Let's all welcome Rudy 1.3527 0.04224 224 164 41 19
625 As she gets older, we'll be casting him progressively more in her nightmares. 1.3527 0.04177 224 163 43 18
626 My apologies, I’m taking him to the vet at lunch. 1.3516 0.05272 128 91 29 8
627 Say hello to Matt, our new diversity hire. 1.3514 0.03899 222 156 54 12
628 Yes David is deaf but he can read lips so I don't want anyone to say,a-d-o-p-t-e-d. 1.3514 0.04002 222 160 47 15
629 With the hiring of Sam here, we’ve met our minority quota. 1.3514 0.04053 222 159 48 15
630 I’ve gathered a representative from each planet to discuss Earth’s threat to the solar system. 1.3514 0.04391 222 166 34 22
631 Meet Clarence, our new Diversity Coordinator. 1.3514 0.03899 222 156 54 12
632 Forget intelligent life. He should try searching for a better tie. 1.3512 0.04558 168 121 36 11
633 HR is here to talk about workplace hygiene again. 1.3505 0.04451 194 141 38 15
634 So...you forgot to fight climate change, huh? 1.3503 0.04750 177 130 32 15
635 We can't be scarier than the last administration! 1.3500 0.04127 220 159 45 16
636 This is Jim. He’s one of the survivors of the “hostile takeover”. 1.3500 0.03703 220 151 61 8
637 Looks like Steve is the only one who remembered the company costume party. 1.3500 0.03920 220 155 53 12
638 Remember, don't judge a life form by its cover. 1.3500 0.04025 220 157 49 14
639 Mr. Sendak, you're late again! 1.3500 0.04076 220 158 47 15
640 Ok, lunch is here. Who ordered an “Ed”? 1.3500 0.04076 220 158 47 15
641 I expected him to look more like Sigourney Weaver. 1.3500 0.04226 220 161 41 18
642 And Mark here will be helping us with new our diversity initiative. 1.3498 0.04038 223 160 48 15
643 Not to belabor the obvious, but we found Jeff on Monster.com. 1.3498 0.03988 223 159 50 14
644 The Committee on Climate Change has come to order. 1.3486 0.04151 218 158 44 16
645 Everyone, welcome Joe. He’s our diversity hire. 1.3486 0.04100 218 157 46 15
646 Our guest requests his species' admission to the extinction society. 1.3486 0.04398 218 163 34 21
647 Lunch break. 1.3486 0.04151 218 158 44 16
648 He's not our waiter. He's our dinner. 1.3486 0.03942 218 154 52 12
649 HR said we have to include one of the humans. 1.3486 0.03778 218 151 58 9
650 ... all in favor of putting a white man on the board for the "sake" of diversity... 1.3486 0.04201 218 159 42 17
651 Shall we address the elephant in the room? 1.3486 0.04100 218 157 46 15
652 No, Barney is not the appetizer, he is here to take your lunch orders. 1.3486 0.03995 218 155 50 13
653 After working here a while you'll fit right in. 1.3486 0.03833 218 152 56 10
654 Smith here says that the last batch of LSD we produced somehow got into the ventilation system. 1.3486 0.04100 218 157 46 15
655 Don't treat him any differently. 1.3484 0.04061 221 159 47 15
656 Everybody say ‘Hello’ to Steve, our new intern. He’s a failed experiment. 1.3484 0.03958 221 157 51 13
657 We're sorry we have to let you go, Bob. It just feels like your conservative ways are a little too alien for us. 1.3474 0.04511 190 139 36 15
658 ¡Ω≈∂ß´œ§ªº;ñÇx! 1.3472 0.04277 216 159 39 18
659 Congratulations on hitting our diversity goal. 1.3472 0.04018 216 154 49 13
660 Please don’t eat the Intern. 1.3470 0.04032 219 157 48 14
661 My pronouns are ytr, zfff, and glorg. 1.3470 0.04284 219 162 38 19
662 I want to introduce Ed, who will be starting up our diversity initiative. 1.3470 0.04032 219 157 48 14
663 Oh, good. Here’s Ned from accounting. Let’s pick his brain. 1.3470 0.04084 219 158 46 15
664 Don't let his looks frighten you: he's a genius with accounts. 1.3470 0.03593 219 153 57 8
665 I've decided to bring someone in who can think outside the box. 1.3470 0.03927 219 155 52 12
666 As requested, Derek from HR is attending to hear our perspective on the corporation's use of preferred pronouns. 1.3469 0.05998 98 70 22 6
667 Our new CEO is a loner, lives with his mother, and best of all, he's from Florida. 1.3466 0.04553 176 127 37 12
668 So I'm guessing I may not be the only one here who experimented with the Crispr DIY gene editing kit over the weekend. 1.3459 0.04783 185 139 28 18
669 Can you believe it?I found him on the street with no name tag or anything. House trained, too! 1.3459 0.04658 185 137 32 16
670 Hey, everyone, dinner is here! 1.3458 0.04148 214 155 44 15
671 Per our new non-discriminating policy, I would like you all to give a warm welcome to our newest recruit, Max. 1.3458 0.03986 214 152 50 12
672 Finally someone to take our Starbucks order. 1.3458 0.03817 214 149 56 9
673 This is Non-Human Resources, pal. Try next door. 1.3458 0.04094 214 154 46 14
674 I thought we ordered collared greens not white collar 1.3458 0.04454 214 161 32 21
675 Really guys... how are there no women in the diversity discussion meeting? 1.3457 0.04542 188 138 35 15
676 It was a diversity hire 1.3456 0.03949 217 154 51 12
677 Please welcome our newest diversity hire. 1.3456 0.03839 217 152 55 10
678 This creature can destroy worlds with baseless lawsuits! 1.3456 0.04107 217 157 45 15
679 White House Cabinet Meeting 1.3456 0.04260 217 160 39 18
680 I'd like to introduce to you the biggest monster of them all... Bill from Telemarketing. 1.3456 0.04210 217 159 41 17
681 «That’s the most utterly horrifying Halloween costume we’ve ever seen, Joe.» 1.3456 0.04055 217 156 47 14
682 Who ordered the Millennial hold the mayo ? 1.3456 0.04210 217 159 41 17
683 This is the creature I told you about who came here to dig up dirt on something called Biden. 1.3456 0.04107 217 157 45 15
684 Do I really need to remind you that monsters come in all shapes? 1.3456 0.03839 217 152 55 10
685 Marvin, please tell the board what makes you unique to handle our campaign. 1.3445 0.04159 209 151 44 14
686 Fred knew he was going to have to get more cold-blooded to fit in at the board room. 1.3445 0.04103 209 150 46 13
687 I don't care how advanced their civilization is, they're just weird looking! 1.3445 0.04103 209 150 46 13
688 And now I'd like to introduce Harold, the guy who's having this dream.... 1.3445 0.04268 209 153 40 16
689 What a find for the museum! A pre-Climate -Change Humanoid dating all the way back to 2070! 1.3445 0.04427 209 156 34 19
690 Let's go around the table and introduce ourselves and which famous person's bed is the worst to hide under. 1.3445 0.04214 209 152 42 15
691 Can I have a show of talons for ice water with lemon? 1.3445 0.03873 209 146 54 9
692 Remember he's our front man, so no one eats him. 1.3445 0.03990 209 148 50 11
693 I thought we agreed on a vegetarian lunch. 1.3443 0.04118 212 153 45 14
694 On the advice of our lawyers, we've decided to add a diversity hire. Everyone, meet Steve. 1.3442 0.03970 215 153 50 12
695 We’ll break a little early since lunch has arrived. 1.3442 0.04025 215 154 48 13
696 Listen, I'm sure you've all heard about diversity in the work place. 1.3442 0.03859 215 151 54 10
697 Welcome to 2020's first meeting of the Trump cabinet! 1.3442 0.04235 215 158 40 17
698 We have our fall guy. Now all we need is a murky scam. 1.3441 0.04445 186 135 38 13
699 Gentlemen, this is Norm - I’m thinking he should be the ‘face’ for our Corporate Diversity Campaign... 1.3441 0.04445 186 135 38 13
700 We’ve nearly met our annual diversity quotas. 1.3441 0.04699 186 139 30 17
701 Don't worry, he's harmless. 1.3441 0.04510 186 136 36 14
702 Chris stood awkwardly, cursing himself as he realised the members of the galactic alliance never dress up for Halloween. 1.3441 0.04244 186 132 44 10
703 I’d like to introduce you to our 2020 nominee and new face of our party. 1.3441 0.04175 186 131 46 9
704 So HOW much are we suing Disney for? 1.3441 0.04510 186 136 36 14
705 Today team we will hear from a former Trump adviser on being scary. 1.3441 0.04445 186 135 38 13
706 No, he’ll GET lunch. 1.3441 0.04312 186 133 42 11
707 Alright, let's break for now--lunch is here. 1.3441 0.04574 186 137 34 15
708 This is Henry, our new diversity hire. 1.3439 0.04926 157 115 30 12
709 I'm sorry you're being replaced, Klorg. The human has some excellent ideas about how to destroy a planet. 1.3434 0.05035 166 125 25 16
710 Let me present to you tonight's entree. 1.3430 0.04240 207 151 41 15
711 He says that the Russians will provide financing, but we’ll have to pay a franchise fee for the Trump name. 1.3430 0.04240 207 151 41 15
712 Don't be put off by the non-threatening appearance; he's one of the most efficient world-destroyers ever 1.3430 0.04070 207 148 47 12
713 I realize this human does not bring much to the party, but we are under pressure to diversify. 1.3430 0.04240 207 151 41 15
714 He's right. We need to outsource past just closets and under beds. 1.3430 0.04070 207 148 47 12
715 We’ll open our meeting by going around the table and telling our Supreme Leader how perfect he is. 1.3430 0.04295 207 152 39 16
716 Trust me. He may look respectable, but he’s a slimy, coldblooded, ruthless scumbag just like us. 1.3430 0.04128 207 150 42 14
717 I'd like to introduce a true monster, our Legal Counsel. 1.3415 0.04094 205 147 46 12
718 And now, what you've all been waiting for: the results of our gene-transformation program. 1.3415 0.03976 205 145 50 10
719 I see one of us is in the Halloween spirit. 1.3415 0.04431 205 153 34 18
720 Well.....It's not an Elephant, but it's in the room. 1.3415 0.04266 205 150 40 15
721 Look at it as an opportunity to practice tolerance. 1.3415 0.04209 205 149 42 14
722 While it’s true he resembles a sick pickle, it’s still harassment to post on break room bulletin board. 1.3413 0.04476 167 119 39 9
723 Meet our new dermatologist. 1.3399 0.04118 203 146 45 12
724 I assure you our expansionist policies will not take us beyond Mars. 1.3399 0.04235 203 148 41 14
725 Guys, please welcome Harvey Weinstein. Trust me, he's scarier than all of us combined. 1.3399 0.04404 203 151 35 17
726 I guess you've all heard by now immigration is a huge problem ? 1.3399 0.04292 203 149 39 15
727 Here's Phil the Product Manager to demonstrate our new offering: 'pants.'" 1.3399 0.04059 203 145 47 11
728 Why the long faces? 1.3399 0.04177 203 147 43 13
729 Who invited accounting? 1.3399 0.04118 203 146 45 12
730 Okay, can we address the human in the room? 1.3399 0.04292 203 149 39 15
731 - A democrat walks in a room... "oh boy, here we go..." 1.3399 0.03998 203 144 49 10
732 I know he's not a slimy forked-tongued monster that's slithered from mud but let's see if we can give Bob some support for his senate race anyway. 1.3399 0.04177 203 147 43 13
733 To revive the species, we will need to find a mate for him. 1.3399 0.04514 203 153 31 19
734 It's casual Friday, Bob. Didn't you get the memo? 1.3399 0.04292 203 149 39 15
735 The good news is you're all off the endangered list. 1.3399 0.04177 203 147 43 13
736 All for giving the funny looking animal a seat at the table say 'aye' 1.3399 0.04059 203 145 47 11
737 Guess who didn't get the memo about not doing Halloween costumes this year! 1.3399 0.03937 203 143 51 9
738 We had thought them extinct. 1.3399 0.03998 203 144 49 9
739 Jim hails from Harvard and tastes delicious on rye bread. 1.3399 0.04292 203 149 39 15
740 We’ve received reports of elevated radiation levels, but so far the tests have been inconclu...oh. 1.3399 0.04292 203 149 39 15
741 Thompson, here, may look human but underneath he's all monster. 1.3383 0.04261 201 147 40 14
742 Come on guys, tobacco executives are monsters too. 1.3383 0.04021 201 143 48 10
743 OK, Who wants the vegetarian option? 1.3383 0.04261 201 147 40 14
744 Let me introduce the average white guy. 1.3383 0.04021 201 143 48 10
745 Mr. Williams is here because the home office thinks we need diversity training. 1.3383 0.03959 201 142 49 9
746 Before we slither back to our desks, Henry from Legal will provide a refresher on our whistleblower policy. 1.3383 0.04202 201 146 42 13
747 Hey, anybody wanna listen to the white guy? 1.3383 0.04143 201 145 44 12
748 These side effects are unacceptable. 1.3383 0.04143 201 148 40 13
749 Just a reminder, team. Tomorrow is bring your pet to work day. 1.3383 0.04082 201 144 46 11
750 Steve found time to put together a Halloween costume. What are your excuses? 1.3382 0.04042 204 146 47 11
751 Everyone, this is Richard. Richard, would you like to wake up? 1.3375 0.04766 160 117 32 11
752 Night terrors, say hello to Benjamin. He’s an Ivy League legacy who doesn’t believe in climate change and he man-splains! 1.3371 0.04553 175 128 35 12
753 I told you that humans were not a legend ! 1.3367 0.04228 199 145 41 13
754 Still. . .the gift wrapping is a nice touch. 1.3367 0.04106 199 143 45 11
755 His wife swears he's a monster between the sheets. 1.3367 0.04288 199 146 39 14
756 The motion carries: Bob can join the board in 5,000 years provided he evolves. 1.3367 0.04168 199 144 43 12
757 Which one of you invited the freak? 1.3367 0.04405 199 148 35 16
758 Let's be clear. Mr. Brown is our dinner guest, not the dinner. 1.3367 0.04106 199 143 45 11
759 Remember: If you do not make eye contact, it can't hurt you. 1.3367 0.04044 199 142 46 10
760 So, you say you were the little boy! So, tell us... which one of us is Puff the Magic Dragon? 1.3367 0.04228 199 145 41 13
761 I agree, I couldn’t eat him either. It’s salads for lunch. 1.3367 0.04106 199 143 45 11
762 Don't get excited, my butler is a robot!" 1.3367 0.04106 199 143 45 11
763 Nothing to fear, folks: He's OUR accountant." 1.3367 0.04168 199 144 43 12
764 Let's give a warm welcome to William, our new Chief Diversity Officer. 1.3367 0.03917 199 140 51 8
765 Our general counsel is here to advise us that our diversity policy has gone too far. 1.3367 0.04044 199 142 47 10
766 We got him as the result of a quid pro bro. 1.3367 0.04518 199 150 31 18
767 I find that vegans are healthier and taste better too. 1.3367 0.04462 199 149 33 17
768 As part of a diversity outreach program, please welcome, Ken. He’s white, middle aged, and boring. 1.3367 0.04044 199 142 47 10
769 Separate checks I presume? 1.3367 0.03981 199 141 49 9
770 Ladies and gentlemen, this is Thomas. He is the sole surviving member of the human race. He was found clinging to the top of the Empire State Building at low tide. He is going to help us with our global cooling problem. 1.3352 0.04547 179 132 34 13
771 Welcome to your Intervention, Mark. 1.3352 0.04547 179 132 34 13
772 Let's ask an end user. 1.3350 0.04374 197 146 36 15
773 In the interests of diversity, I vote to include the uptight guy in the funny clothes. 1.3350 0.03938 197 139 50 8
774 ...and that’s why my planet is the best. 1.3350 0.04193 197 143 42 12
775 Please welcome Ted to our team and let's make him feel comfortable. 1.3350 0.03872 197 141 48 8
776 Ladies and gentlemen, I'm proud to introduce our new human resources officer. 1.3350 0.04068 197 141 46 10
777 Great, another diversity hire. 1.3350 0.04254 197 144 40 13
778 These ones are in stock and are just peel and eat. 1.3350 0.04193 197 143 42 12
779 Everyone, this is Steve. He'll be our working lunch today" 1.3350 0.04254 197 144 40 13
780 Raise your hand if you are undocumented. 1.3350 0.04193 197 143 42 12
781 He didn't drink the kool aid... 1.3350 0.04089 200 144 45 11
782 The investors say our Board needs more white men. 1.3350 0.03965 200 142 49 9
783 Everybody, this is lunch. Lunch, everybody. 1.3333 0.04403 195 145 35 15
784 Bob is our new director of nonhuman resources. 1.3333 0.04027 195 139 47 9
785 We’re sorry Ted, but we just don’t think this company needs a director of human resources. 1.3333 0.04342 195 144 37 14
786 I would like to introduce our new workplace therapy pet. 1.3333 0.04521 168 122 36 10
787 Pete from maintenance is here to buff the claw marks out of the table. 1.3333 0.04027 195 139 47 9
788 Everybody, please welcome Sam. Sam's here today to talk about workplace diversity. 1.3333 0.05040 126 90 30 6
789 So, I see, the President's cabinet has changed once again. 1.3333 0.04156 195 143 39 12
790 Another winner, Brad. But the costume party is tomorrow night. 1.3333 0.04342 195 144 37 14
791 Meet our new diversity officer. 1.3333 0.04812 165 123 29 13
792 I saw him using plastic straws. What a monster. 1.3333 0.04826 168 126 28 14
793 This is the type of monster we're marketing to. 1.3333 0.04735 165 122 31 12
794 Any ideas on how we can spin the side effects of our new cbd product? 1.3333 0.04579 195 148 29 18
795 Who wants to hear a racist joke? 1.3333 0.04676 168 124 32 12
796 He is on loan from the Smithsonian. 1.3333 0.04219 195 142 41 12
797 Look, diversity is important, but enough is enough. 1.3333 0.04495 165 119 37 9
798 Let’s table that discussion for now. I see lunch has arrived. 1.3333 0.04156 195 141 43 11
799 I present you with the future of evolution! 1.3333 0.04027 195 139 47 9
800 Should we put him on the board or on the menu? 1.3333 0.04281 195 143 39 13
801 There is always somebody that doesn’t read the memo!! 1.3333 0.04219 195 142 41 12
802 Psst! Check out the illegal alien! 1.3333 0.04219 195 142 41 12
803 Meet Ed, our new warm-blooded, opposable-thumbed representative! 1.3333 0.04027 195 139 47 9
804 In light of recent events, Bill will handle all future walk-in customers. 1.3316 0.04245 193 141 40 12
805 You said “dress up” for Halloween 1.3316 0.04050 193 138 46 9
806 Hi everybody. This is Stephen Miller and I think he'll really fit in here. 1.3316 0.04370 193 143 36 14
807 He's an accomplished attorney who's successfully defended many "under the bed" cases 1.3316 0.04116 193 139 44 10
808 I vote we eat him. 1.3309 0.05011 136 99 29 8
809 Bob is from Human Resources. 1.3299 0.04163 194 141 42 11
810 I am so proud to introduce 2019's "monster-of-the-year," a straight white male human. 1.3299 0.04412 194 145 34 15
811 OK, we all agree, he's a perfect fit for us. 1.3299 0.04289 194 145 35 14
812 Exqelbub, could you explain Casual Fridays to our new intern, Gene? 1.3299 0.03829 194 136 52 6
813 Nice costume, Steve. 1.3299 0.04289 194 143 38 13
814 And the scariest monster this week is Bob, our auditor. 1.3299 0.04033 194 139 46 9
815 Everyone, this is Malcom, our diversity candidate. 1.3299 0.03687 194 145 38 9
816 He may not look like much, but his greed is terrifying. 1.3296 0.04466 179 132 35 12
817 Under pressure from the P.C. crowd, I'm introducing our first human board member. Please don't eat him. 1.3281 0.04056 192 138 45 9
818 Be nice. It's the hors d'oeuvre. 1.3281 0.04188 192 140 41 11
819 Now, Jordan might not have what it takes "looks-wise" to hide out under anyone's bed, but when you hear what he's done in the private equity sector you're sure to agree he's a greater monster than any of us! 1.3281 0.04379 192 143 35 14
820 Harry here is willing to join our Board as a representative from the human race if we pass an amendment to not eat him. 1.3281 0.04253 192 141 39 12
821 We always look this way before coffee. 1.3281 0.04188 192 140 41 11
822 And the Republican senators continued to act as if there was nothing sordid about themselves and their colleagues. 1.3281 0.04379 192 143 35 14
823 They're called humans. Give it a chance, it's an acquired taste. 1.3281 0.03988 192 137 47 8
824 He's from Corporate. Anyone hungry? 1.3281 0.04056 192 138 45 9
825 I promised diversity 1.3281 0.03919 192 136 49 7
826 Trust me, he can be a real monster. 1.3281 0.04441 192 144 33 15
827 This is George. Isn't he cute? He's on the endangered species list. 1.3280 0.04364 189 140 36 13
828 I want you all to meet my son, and I know what you’re thinking. A chip off the old block. 1.3280 0.04364 189 140 36 13
829 Well, he’s who we invited for lunch and we can’t work on empty stomachs. 1.3280 0.04428 189 141 34 14
830 Dave, why are you the only one wearing clothes? 1.3272 0.04620 162 119 33 10
831 I'd like you to meet my son-in-law. 1.3270 0.04846 159 119 28 12
832 He's the exception that proves the rule. 1.3270 0.04416 159 114 38 7
833 Pull out another chair and restart the music. 1.3267 0.04682 150 113 27 10
834 He's not imaginary. He's real. 1.3263 0.04214 190 139 40 11
835 We abducted him from a Charles Addams cartoon. 1.3263 0.04214 190 139 40 11
836 "As part of our relentless quest for diversity, I now present Morty from Accounting." 1.3263 0.04147 190 138 42 10
837 Charles is going to lead us in a team-building exercise. 1.3263 0.04214 190 139 40 11
838 Good Morning, Mr. President. 1.3263 0.04214 190 139 40 11
839 Who wants a snack? 1.3263 0.04080 190 137 44 9
840 And now, I've asked Jeffrey from HR to talk to us about improving diversity in our workforce. 1.3262 0.04259 187 137 39 11
841 Personally I’m glad they drained the swamp, this is much nicer meeting place. 1.3262 0.04326 187 138 37 12
842 He used to work for the Donald. He said he thought this would be a more pleasant work environment. 1.3262 0.04584 187 142 29 16
843 Welcome to Star Wars 10: Return of the Rabbi 1.3262 0.04259 187 137 39 11
844 Now, let's put our fins, claws, and vestigial limbs together to welcome George, our new director of diversity. 1.3262 0.04259 187 137 39 11
845 And now Stan Zelinski will tell us how we can boost sales by practicing our people skills. 1.3262 0.04122 187 135 43 9
846 No, he’s the new intern, not lunch. 1.3262 0.04122 187 135 43 9
847 Who invited Dr. Suess ? 1.3245 0.04173 188 137 41 10
848 Please welcome our new Diversity Training Manager. 1.3245 0.04240 188 138 39 11
849 Which one of you guy's seahorse is double parked? 1.3243 0.04620 148 107 34 7
850 Did anyone invite a cis white male? 1.3243 0.04620 148 107 34 7
851 Here he comes....be prepared for some biting remarks! 1.3243 0.04003 185 132 46 7
852 We're bringing in a new terror: IRS auditor. 1.3243 0.04354 185 137 36 12
853 He says they’ll pay us if we dig up some dirt on Biden and his son. 1.3243 0.04552 185 140 30 15
854 Han Solo is waiting at the bar. Let's wrap this up! 1.3242 0.04191 182 132 41 9
855 And...We also have a Gluten free, Plant based menu!! 1.3242 0.04403 182 135 35 12
856 Be sure to use the appropriate pronouns. 1.3242 0.04334 182 134 37 11
857 Ladies and gentlemen, mutation is the key to our evolution. 1.3242 0.04334 182 134 37 11
858 Quick, quick - let’s delete the fossil record before the extinction event! 1.3242 0.04334 182 134 37 11
859 He would like a lease/option on our planet. 1.3242 0.04472 182 136 33 13
860 Sorry, no illegal aliens allowed! 1.3242 0.04191 182 132 41 9
861 We need more diversity on this board. A few humans in our ranks might help us getting government contracts. 1.3242 0.04191 182 132 41 9
862 The purpose of today's meeting is how to make us more relevant in the 21st century. 1.3242 0.04118 182 131 43 8
863 ...so Roger's audit shows we can cut costs by hiding in kids' dressers and under nightstands instead. 1.3242 0.04671 182 139 27 16
864 Sorry, Man, your species is still too destructive. We’ll check back in a few millennia when you’ve had more time to mature. 1.3241 0.04682 145 105 33 7
865 This is little Johnny, all grown up now. Do you remember hiding under his bed at night? 1.3222 0.04290 180 132 38 10
866 Well, once he looses the suit he will fit right in. 1.3222 0.04218 180 131 40 9
867 For some reason, George had a gnawing feeling that his coworkers' Halloween costumes looked a bit too real. 1.3222 0.04218 180 131 40 9
868 This gentleman is recruiting for the White House staff. 1.3222 0.04362 180 133 36 11
869 None of you have been selected for juror service 1.3222 0.04362 180 133 36 11
870 I know he's ugly but, he taste like chicken! 1.3222 0.04502 180 135 32 13
871 Yes Mr. Jones, it is in fact a scales meeting. 1.3222 0.04362 180 133 36 11
872 Oh good, lunch has arrived. 1.3222 0.04218 180 131 39 9
873 Maybe we can hire him for voiceovers. 1.3222 0.04218 180 131 40 9
874 This year we've got to go easier on Herbie from 14th st. He's been peeing his bed since last Halloween. 1.3222 0.04571 180 136 30 14
875 Well, my ex considers me a monster. 1.3222 0.04502 180 135 32 13
876 And finally, if Mort has everyone's coffee orders, I'll ask those with claws to stop scratching the table. 1.3222 0.04362 180 133 36 11
877 Mr. Perkins here will now serve as breakfast. 1.3222 0.04143 180 130 42 8
878 I see lunch has arrived, let’s take a quick break 1.3222 0.04290 180 132 38 10
879 I didn't expect our lunch to be delivered so quickly. 1.3222 0.04362 180 133 36 11
880 Roger here would like us to do him a favor though before he takes us to his leader. 1.3222 0.04362 180 133 36 11
881 Dave here has concerns that we’ve alienated him... 1.3222 0.04068 180 129 44 7
882 To my left is our first office pet, Fred. 1.3221 0.04392 149 106 38 5
883 Is there something on my face? 1.3205 0.04811 156 117 28 11
884 I'd like to introduce you all to Bob. This is his first day here at Nuclear Solutions, LLC 1.3205 0.04636 156 115 32 9
885 Kid's imaginary friends just aren't what they used to be. 1.3203 0.04605 153 112 33 8
886 Here to present his excuses is Timmy, who as a child, used to scare us all by hiding under our beds. 1.3202 0.04318 178 131 37 10
887 It looks like our lunch has arrived. 1.3202 0.04318 178 131 37 10
888 We picked Jim to represent us in our ad campaign for more nuclear reactors. 1.3202 0.04603 178 135 29 14
889 I've hired him to figure out why our sales numbers are so low. 1.3202 0.04318 178 131 37 10
890 United Nations, Circa 2049 1.3202 0.04391 178 132 35 11
891 Fortunately for us, Vinnie here is just about the best dang immigration attorney in the tri-star area. 1.3202 0.04463 178 133 33 12
892 Great Costume.... 1.3202 0.04092 178 128 43 7
893 First, we have a presentation from corporate by Ted, and then we'll break for lunch, which is Ted. 1.3202 0.04318 178 131 37 10
894 Though technically a mammal, Dave is a lawyer with a wonderful reptilian disposition! 1.3202 0.04533 178 134 31 13
895 No, this is Gary from Accounts Receivable. Lunch will be here at Noon. 1.3202 0.04391 178 132 35 11
896 The swamp got drained and this is all that was left. 1.3202 0.04463 178 133 33 12
897 I'll have the waiter, with some fava beans and a nice Chianti! 1.3202 0.04391 178 132 35 11
898 Don't let his looks fool you. He's very good with computers. 1.3202 0.04318 178 131 37 10
899 Don’t give me that look. I told you yesterday we were going to have Bob for dinner this evening. 1.3202 0.04533 178 134 31 13
900 Welcome to your nightmare board meeting. 1.3202 0.04318 178 131 37 10
901 Seriously? Those are your pronouns? 1.3202 0.04318 178 131 37 10
902 I'd like to introduce Frank, head of our Diversity Hiring Initiative. 1.3202 0.04318 178 131 37 10
903 Stan is here from Nonhuman Resources to review our policy on office romances. 1.3202 0.04391 178 132 35 11
904 I think it's fair to say that this species cannot be regarded as intelligent. So we continue to use it for our medical tests. 1.3202 0.04169 178 129 41 8
905 You can tell that kangaroo on the bench that we have reached a verdict. 1.3202 0.04463 178 133 33 12
906 Gentlemen, as you know, I will stepping down as Chairman of the Frights and Seizures Committee. I would like to introduce my replacement, Steve Mnuchin. 1.3202 0.04671 178 136 27 15
907 Yes, I'm sure he's prepared to answer questions about pre-existing conditions. 1.3202 0.04013 178 127 45 6
908 This is Ned, try not to stare. 1.3202 0.04092 178 128 43 7
909 Okay, who ordered the appetizer? 1.3202 0.04318 178 131 37 10
910 Well, gentlemen, I see lunch is here. I took the liberty of ordering us a Thirty-Two-Year-Old Architect from Poughkeepsie. 1.3202 0.04244 178 130 39 9
911 I realize that for some of you it’ll be harder to see eye to eye on this... 1.3202 0.04092 178 128 43 7
912 Legal says we have to start wearing clothes. 1.3202 0.04169 178 129 41 8
913 Everyone welcome Edwin, the marginalized minority representative for our new corporate diversity training program 1.3202 0.04463 178 133 33 12
914 Community bathrooms it is. 1.3202 0.04463 178 133 33 12
915 He says they’ll change us back if we find some emails. 1.3202 0.04244 178 130 39 9
916 Yes, but wait 'til you see his truck collection! 1.3185 0.05114 135 101 25 9
917 Meet our new diversity hire, Kevin. 1.3182 0.04346 176 130 36 10
918 ...next: the U.K.'s referendum to leave the planetary system. 1.3182 0.04493 176 132 32 12
919 Bob's company helps organizations like ours think 'outside the closet'. 1.3182 0.04493 176 132 32 12
920 I want to introduce you to a delicious new member of our team, Gary. 1.3182 0.04116 176 127 42 7
921 It's casual Friday, bonehead. 1.3182 0.04271 176 129 38 9
922 This meeting of the Dr. Seuss rejects will come to order. 1.3182 0.04271 176 129 38 9
923 Oh good, I see our snack’s arrived. 1.3182 0.04346 176 130 36 10
924 Say hello to the new guy from a galaxy far far away. 1.3182 0.04116 176 127 42 7
925 As you can see, lunch has arrived, so this would be a good time to break. 1.3182 0.04194 176 128 40 8
926 Anybody order vanilla? 1.3182 0.04194 176 128 40 8
927 OK, OK, next time we order pizza. 1.3182 0.04194 176 128 40 8
928 We just captured the last earthling. Shall we break for lunch? 1.3182 0.04271 176 129 38 9
929 Naturally, the board is always glad to see the stockholders. 1.3182 0.04420 176 131 34 11
930 This is Mr. Smith from the NAACP. We’ll use their charter and bylaws for our new non-profit, the Universal Association for the Advancement of Multi-colored People. 1.3182 0.04346 176 130 36 10
931 Dave realizes having that last mushroom omelet at Burning Man was a bad idea. 1.3182 0.04194 176 128 40 8
932 ... and this is our new meat lovers option 1.3182 0.04346 176 130 36 10
933 Stay out of Trump’s nightmares, you can’t compete! 1.3182 0.04493 176 132 32 12
934 Say hello to Sam. He cast the bar scene for Star Wars. Let' hear what he's working on now. 1.3182 0.04194 176 130 37 9
935 Marvin is our new diversity hire. 1.3182 0.04194 176 130 37 9
936 Yes he's strange but the organization requires diversity. 1.3182 0.04346 176 130 36 10
937 Obviously, he didn't realize we operate a nudist camp. 1.3182 0.04420 176 131 34 11
938 Diversity can be challenging, I admit it. 1.3182 0.04346 176 130 36 10
939 He’s our affirmative action candidate. 1.3182 0.04036 176 128 41 7
940 So, which one of you is in Human Resources? 1.3182 0.04346 176 130 36 10
941 Fred is our new Indigenous Peoples intern. 1.3182 0.04036 176 126 44 6
942 It finally happened. One of them finally made it to our galaxy. 1.3182 0.04194 176 128 40 8
943 Do you believe in the effects of global warming now? 1.3182 0.04116 176 127 42 7
944 Steve brings new blood into the Kitchen Cabinet. 1.3182 0.04346 176 130 36 10
945 Welcome to the White House! Rule #1, everything is beautiful. 1.3182 0.04493 176 132 32 12
946 He doesn't have the dessert menu, he is the dessert menu. 1.3182 0.04493 176 132 32 12
947 Did you hear the one about the Ukrainian comedian and the reality game show host? 1.3182 0.04705 176 135 26 15
948 Dave hopes our team will help scare up new business. 1.3182 0.03955 176 125 46 5
949 Who's in favor of having Alfred for dinner? 1.3182 0.04346 176 130 36 10
950 The results are in. The side effects are worse than the cure. 1.3182 0.04346 176 130 36 10
951 What's he doing here? I heard they were all extinct! 1.3182 0.04271 176 129 38 9
952 He responded to our Monster.com ad. 1.3182 0.04420 176 131 34 11
953 Who ordered the accountant special for lunch? 1.3182 0.04346 176 130 36 10
954 Let’s give him some slack. He’s only human. 1.3182 0.04346 176 130 36 10
955 Chuck gives our corporate culture humanity. 1.3182 0.04194 176 128 40 8
956 Although Frank doesn't seem to mind, for legal reasons, HR needs you to stop referring to him as human scum. 1.3161 0.04524 174 131 31 12
957 Yes, he's a man, a myth, AND a legend. 1.3161 0.04524 174 131 31 12
958 This is Stanley. He gets it. 1.3161 0.04298 174 128 37 9
959 He’ll be able to market our products to a whole new demographic. 1.3161 0.04060 174 125 42 6
960 Everybody, this is Joe. He'll be lunch. 1.3161 0.04450 174 130 33 11
961 Guys, this is Neil. Neil is a reality- based life form from our office in Scranton. 1.3161 0.04141 174 126 41 7
962 Don't stare. He's only a lawyer. 1.3161 0.04524 174 131 31 12
963 Fred from H.R. is here to talk to us about workplace diversity. 1.3161 0.04259 174 130 34 10
964 "This is John from the Pentagon; he's here to pick our reptilian brains." 1.3161 0.04375 174 132 31 11
965 Look at the new guy. Striped tie. Really? 1.3161 0.04141 174 126 41 7
966 The White House has asked us to come up with a better plan to stop aliens at our borders. 1.3161 0.04739 174 134 25 15
967 The stockholders want a more diverse board. All those in favor of Osborn say or grunt 'aye' 1.3161 0.04298 174 128 37 9
968 Charles, here, will help with our diversity initiative. 1.3161 0.04220 174 127 39 8
969 The Corporate Board for Where the Wild Things Are 1.3161 0.04298 174 128 37 9
970 He will provide the diversity we need 1.3161 0.04141 174 126 41 7
971 He's going to teach us how to make people think we aren't monsters. 1.3161 0.04060 174 125 43 6
972 Oh for crying out loud, Bob! We said no costumes for the October board meeting! 1.3161 0.04298 174 128 37 9
973 Of course he's a monster. He charges 2% fees and under performs the market... 1.3161 0.04450 174 130 33 11
974 And here is Max in his wolf of Wall Street suit to lead us on a wild rumpus through the derivatives market. 1.3161 0.04524 174 131 31 12
975 Yes, he looks harmless, but he’s a demon on Twitter. 1.3161 0.04298 174 128 37 9
976 And for kids who don't scare easy, Fred here offers low introductory rates on student loans. 1.3161 0.04298 174 128 37 9
977 ... and Francis here is the new head of sales for our Planet Earth division. 1.3161 0.04060 174 125 43 6
978 It’s unanimous. We’ll refill the swamp. 1.3161 0.04298 174 128 37 9
979 He says he’s here to find a unicorn. 1.3161 0.04450 174 130 33 11
980 You're here to represent the most screwed up species in your galaxy. 1.3161 0.04524 174 131 31 12
981 Do we have any more criticisms for our genetic engineer? 1.3161 0.04375 174 129 35 10
982 Lets give a cold welcome to our newest associate on the earth account. 1.3161 0.04524 174 131 31 12
983 Phil will be overseeing Human Resources, so we never run out again. 1.3161 0.04809 174 135 23 16
984 Legal has OK'd franchising Area 51. 1.3161 0.04220 174 127 39 8
985 Fensterwald here has just informed me that we're no longer on the endangered species list but we won't survive climate change. 1.3161 0.04375 174 129 35 10
986 When they are properly dressed they taste good. 1.3147 0.04593 143 104 33 6
987 Who’s ready for lunch? 1.3143 0.04428 175 131 33 11
988 Please, join us on...er...I mean, at the table. 1.3143 0.04041 175 126 43 6
989 All in favor of hiring the aberration,​ signify with a guttural sound. 1.3143 0.04354 175 130 35 10
990 Even with all us monsters gathered 'round the table, it's hard to ignore the Republican. 1.3143 0.04871 140 104 28 8
991 I’d like to address the man in the room. 1.3143 0.04354 175 130 35 10
992 Introducing our latest member, Warren. I agree these humans don’t look scary at first but you should see what they’re capable of doing to each other! 1.3140 0.04326 172 127 36 9
993 I hope you've all registered your dietary restrictions with Mr. Tillis. 1.3140 0.04247 172 126 38 8
994 We tried to find a black woman candidate. Would you settle for a gay white guy? 1.3134 0.05341 134 103 20 11
995 The human here will call the meeting to order, as well as phylum, class, and species. 1.3125 0.05258 144 112 19 13
996 Rick, welcome to the Trump Cabinet. 1.3121 0.04679 173 133 26 14
997 The Earthling bears a request from his nation's leader – that we abduct a human named Pelosi. 1.3121 0.04607 173 134 25 13
998 This is Norm, from HR. He's about to be your worst nightmare. 1.3121 0.04458 173 130 32 11
999 Any dietary restrictions? 1.3121 0.04382 173 131 31 11
1000 We wasted no time in implementing our company’s new diversity mandate. 1.3121 0.04533 173 131 30 12
1001 In keeping with our policy for diversity, please welcome our new member. 1.3121 0.04305 173 128 36 9
1002 Bob will be joining the board -his scare tactics on Fox News has really opened up a new demographic for us. 1.3121 0.04607 173 132 28 13
1003 Somebody forgot it's dress-down Friday! 1.3121 0.04226 173 127 38 8
1004 Arthur has agreed to stay for lunch. 1.3121 0.04382 173 129 34 10
1005 Lewis, everyone feels awkward when you ignore Casual Friday! 1.3121 0.04533 173 131 30 12
1006 we are having budget problems and corporate wants to know which one of you is going extinct first 1.3121 0.05243 141 109 20 12
1007 I know what you're thinking, and no, he's not a dentist. 1.3116 0.04911 138 103 27 8
1008 Musical chairs is an excellent way to determine which species goes extinct next. We’ll play again next Thursday. 1.3114 0.04645 167 127 28 12
1009 And if each of you would introduce yourself and please ... your pronouns. 1.3114 0.04406 167 124 34 9
1010 Don’t worry Bill, we’re a family here at the Chernobyl branch. Give it some time, and you’ll fit right in. 1.3114 0.04323 167 123 36 8
1011 C'mon guys, act dumb. The human is coming. 1.3103 0.04746 145 108 29 8
1012 We heard that you help aliens get citizenship. 1.3103 0.04324 145 104 37 4
1013 I'm sure we will all help Jim adapt and thrive in our corporate culture. 1.3099 0.04171 171 125 39 7
1014 Welcome to the first meeting of our Employee Diversification Committee... 1.3095 0.04621 168 128 28 12
1015 Alright, let's begin the annual meeting of citizens for clean air and water 1.3095 0.04301 168 124 36 8
1016 All those in favor of adding the Reagan Democrat to the Mythical Creatures Club say "aye". 1.3095 0.04383 168 125 34 9
1017 I think we can all agree that we're not monsters, we're merely representing our client's desires. 1.3095 0.04383 168 125 34 9
1018 Everyone, meet our new Director of Human Resources. 1.3095 0.04543 168 127 30 11
1019 Please welcome Bob from Accounting. 1.3095 0.04383 168 125 34 9
1020 Now let’s all welcome our new diversity intern Glen! 1.3095 0.04383 168 125 34 9
1021 Gentleman, this is my new assistant, out of Washington. He's gotten used to dealing with monsters and pretending he didn't hear anything scary. 1.3091 0.04599 165 125 29 11
1022 Stuart here is a politician. Ya'll need to up your game. 1.3091 0.04435 165 123 33 9
1023 Tom from HR is here to remind everyone to ask first then scare. 1.3091 0.04266 165 121 37 7
1024 I asked our auditor to join today's meeting to discuss our plan to obliterate the galaxy and to provide a written evaluation on whether it meets best practices. 1.3091 0.04435 165 123 33 9
1025 Gentlemen meet Larry, our new VP of Diversity 1.3091 0.04266 165 121 37 7
1026 Say hello to our diversity hire. 1.3091 0.04266 165 121 37 7
1027 Say, "Hello," to our new Director of Diversity, Jimmy. 1.3091 0.04089 165 119 41 5
1028 Lunch? 1.3091 0.04266 165 121 37 7
1029 After seeing us individually under your bed, you get to see us all together now... 1.3091 0.04089 165 119 41 5
1030 Steve is our new diversity hire. 1.3091 0.04266 165 121 37 7
1031 I told him we were wearing our birthday suits 1.3091 0.04351 165 122 35 8
1032 I think I liked the swamp better. 1.3091 0.04351 165 122 35 8
1033 Guys, meet our newest member. He goes by The Wolf of Wall Street. 1.3091 0.04599 165 125 29 11
1034 I gathered you here to see what ancient man looks like. 1.3091 0.04679 165 126 27 12
1035 To begin with, may I introduce our amuse-bouche 1.3091 0.04679 165 126 27 12
1036 As you know, today we begin phase five of Exposure therapy. 1.3088 0.05168 136 104 22 10
1037 We’re getting married! 1.3081 0.04311 172 128 35 9
1038 Everyone welcome our foreign exchange intern! 1.3081 0.04311 172 128 35 9
1039 Welcome Joe, everyone, he's an Earthling and was hired through our alien guest worker program" 1.3081 0.04389 172 129 33 10
1040 Let’s give a warm welcome to our latest candidate for extinction! 1.3081 0.04542 172 131 29 12
1041 Steg, quit drooling. Mr. Smith is not here for lunch. 1.3081 0.04151 172 126 39 7
1042 He guarantees things are finally heating up on earth. 1.3081 0.04232 172 127 37 8
1043 Credentials, what d'ya mean credentials, he worked for Trump. All in favor say Covfefe . .. . 1.3081 0.04389 172 129 33 10
1044 We're all different. No jokes about the guy in the tie. 1.3081 0.04616 172 132 27 13
1045 Are there not limits to our Diversity and Inclusion initiative? 1.3081 0.04151 172 126 39 7
1046 We finally found our chameleon. 1.3081 0.04151 172 126 39 7
1047 Ah! Here comes the freak... 1.3081 0.04389 172 129 33 10
1048 The question is "How diverse do we want to be?" 1.3081 0.04389 172 129 33 10
1049 Meet Walter, our new director of Diversity. 1.3081 0.04232 172 127 37 8
1050 Please welcome our first HUMAN resources director. 1.3081 0.04232 172 127 37 8
1051 First order of business: stop scratching the table. 1.3081 0.04542 172 131 29 12
1052 ...And just when they think they can't get more terrified... BAM... we hit'em with Reginald from Legal..... 1.3081 0.04151 172 126 39 7
1053 I found him, but you can name him. 1.3081 0.04151 172 126 39 7
1054 Our newest Cabinet member reminds me of how most of you looked on your first day! 1.3081 0.04232 172 127 37 8
1055 We need to bring diversity to the board room. 1.3081 0.04151 172 126 39 7
1056 I guess no one told him it was casual Friday. 1.3081 0.04311 172 128 35 9
1057 Here to explain 'veganism', let's all welcome Phil from Earth. 1.3081 0.04232 172 127 37 8
1058 POTUS will be here shortly and then we can started. Mitch you look great. 1.3081 0.04466 172 130 31 11
1059 This is either the new guy or lunch. 1.3081 0.04311 172 128 35 9
1060 Stop drooling.he's our attorney. 1.3081 0.03983 172 124 43 5
1061 Here comes lunch 1.3081 0.04542 172 131 29 12
1062 Bob is an architect who specializes in monstrosities. 1.3081 0.04542 172 131 29 12
1063 When I said your personalities should reflect your appearances, I was just joking. 1.3081 0.04466 172 130 31 11
1064 Tom has joined us today to discuss the difference between diversity and inclusion. 1.3081 0.04151 172 126 39 7
1065 I think we've clearly met the organization's demand for diversity! 1.3081 0.04616 172 132 27 13
1066 Clothes make the man. 1.3081 0.04232 172 127 37 8
1067 Lunch has arrived. I call dibs on a leg. 1.3077 0.04280 169 125 36 8
1068 I’m against it. Next thing you know, he’ll be asking for a separate water fountain. 1.3077 0.05306 104 76 24 4
1069 All those in favour of a hostile takeover hiss now. 1.3077 0.04441 169 127 32 10
1070 So, shall we let this gentleman in our ark? 1.3071 0.05058 140 107 23 10
1071 As I said before: He works here...He is not desert 1.3071 0.05159 140 108 21 11
1072 Much to his embarrassment Fred remembered it was casual Friday 1.3071 0.05185 127 96 23 8
1073 This is Charles. I'm pleased to announce that he has decided to join us instead of the Trump Administration. 1.3067 0.04713 163 125 26 12
1074 Now I'd like to introduce to you someone we'd all like to eat-- woops, I mean meet. 1.3067 0.04713 163 125 26 12
1075 Joe is part of our diversity initiative. 1.3067 0.04113 163 118 40 5
1076 Gentlemen! we have decided to outsource 1.3067 0.04113 163 118 40 5
1077 Trump’s cabinet 2023 1.3067 0.04713 163 125 26 12
1078 Attention: The StarWars bar scene alumni association meeting will come to order. 1.3067 0.04380 163 121 34 8
1079 Fellow Demons, our newest board member... Martin Shkreli 1.3067 0.04871 163 127 22 14
1080 It’s about this wall you want to build on Saturn and get Jupiter to pay for. 1.3067 0.04550 163 123 30 10
1081 I've asked John here, from marketing, to fill us in on this year's United Way campaign. 1.3067 0.04632 163 124 28 11
1082 Don’t panic, it’s only his Halloween costume. 1.3067 0.04550 163 123 30 10
1083 Who brought the snack? 1.3067 0.04550 163 123 30 10
1084 You'll remember Max as a boy when he was our king. Now he's joing Wild Things Inc. as an intern. 1.3067 0.04632 163 124 28 11
1085 Please welcome Ned to our creative team for his much-needed out of the box perspective. 1.3067 0.04380 163 121 34 8
1086 Mr. Smythe: We have considered your request for membership and have decided that you just don't fit in. 1.3067 0.04466 163 122 32 9
1087 Another rookie! We'll eat this guy for lunch! 1.3067 0.04632 163 124 28 11
1088 Be nice to him, most of his kind died from the asteroid. 1.3067 0.04632 163 124 28 11
1089 Only one? For all of us to split? 1.3067 0.04204 163 119 38 6
1090 Any guesses on how many there used to be? 1.3067 0.04204 163 119 38 6
1091 The law says we must have at least one male on the board. 1.3067 0.04380 163 121 34 8
1092 Up next is Paul, who wants to offer a contrarian view regarding our global annihilation strategy. 1.3067 0.04380 163 121 34 8
1093 In light of recent events, Tom will be leading a mandatory Human Sensitivity Training this afternoon. 1.3067 0.04550 163 123 30 10
1094 Looks like lunch has arrived. 1.3067 0.04632 163 124 28 11
1095 Barney, didn't you get the memo? No white-face on Halloween. 1.3067 0.04632 163 124 28 11
1096 This is our management consultant Irving. If we don’t like the direction he’s taking us, he’ll pair nicely with a bold Cabernet. 1.3067 0.04466 163 122 32 9
1097 Honestly, guys, alien privilege is a thing now. 1.3067 0.04380 163 120 34 8
1098 Will the the post climate change society please come to order 1.3067 0.04466 163 122 32 9
1099 Must be a legacy. 1.3067 0.04466 163 122 32 9
1100 Bill quickly realized he was the diversity hire. 1.3067 0.04550 163 123 30 10
1101 The OSHA inspector is here to check on that hissing noise. 1.3067 0.04550 163 123 30 10
1102 This is Roger. He'll be reviewing our immigration compliance policies. 1.3067 0.04113 163 118 39 5
1103 Meet Bob. Bob is our diversity hire. 1.3064 0.04290 173 129 35 9
1104 And the best monster award goes to Ed the Juul marketing executive. 1.3064 0.04665 173 134 25 14
1105 Remember the kid from ‘E.T.’? 1.3064 0.04211 173 128 37 8
1106 Meet John from Central Casting 1.3064 0.04519 173 132 29 12
1107 It even smells like plants when you cook it! 1.3064 0.04048 173 126 41 6
1108 Is this the Trump Cabinet meeting? 1.3060 0.05425 134 105 17 12
1109 This is the new company psychologist. 1.3053 0.04584 131 95 32 4
1110 This company is not creature binary. 1.3053 0.04833 131 97 28 6
1111 This is Bob from HR. He will be reviewing the dress code policy with us today. 1.3050 0.04821 141 106 27 8
1112 We will have a Vegan platter, Thank you 1.3049 0.04357 164 122 34 8
1113 His last name is Monster. Close enough. 1.3049 0.04357 164 122 34 8
1114 I'd like introduce our new head of human resources. 1.3043 0.04230 161 118 37 6
1115 And now Dan from HR will present on the importance of not eating humans. 1.3043 0.04582 161 122 29 10
1116 This meeting of 'Where the Wild Things Are' will now begin. 1.3043 0.04410 161 123 30 8
1117 Three humans come into a bar... 1.3043 0.04497 161 121 31 9
1118 Let me introduce Larry, the newest member of our nightmare squad. He majored in Realizing Your Homework Is Past Due and wrote a thesis on showing up to class naked. Welcome, Larry. 1.3043 0.04666 161 123 27 11
1119 Why is Blorg the only one of you dressed for Casual Friday? 1.3043 0.04749 161 124 25 12
1120 And you wear that every day? 1.3043 0.04137 161 117 39 5
1121 And next on the menu - I mean agenda - is... 1.3043 0.04410 161 120 33 8
1122 You must be the special. 1.3043 0.04410 161 120 33 8
1123 To keep our finger on the pulse of the market, I've invited one of our customers to join the board. 1.3043 0.04582 161 122 29 10
1124 Trust me guys. Jerry used to work for the IRS, he'll fit right in. 1.3043 0.04230 161 118 36 6
1125 We are here to celebrate the success of our diversity program! 1.3043 0.03743 161 121 36 4
1126 OK, now before we get started with the meeting, do you want thighs, legs or arms? 1.3043 0.04497 161 121 31 9
1127 Ok. Who order the business man lunch? 1.3043 0.04749 161 124 25 12
1128 Let's eat--oops, meet--our new diversity officer. 1.3043 0.04410 161 120 33 8
1129 Okay . . . now Dennis here is going to talk to us about our homo sapien harassment policy. 1.3043 0.04497 161 121 31 9
1130 We're grooming him for the Earth presidency. 1.3043 0.04321 161 119 35 7
1131 OK... Everyone take a turn and tell President Trump how much you like him! 1.3043 0.04582 161 122 29 10
1132 The Area 51 subcommittee welcomes the new Director of NASA who will explain why we are a hoax 1.3043 0.04321 161 119 35 7
1133 See? Just a few taps on the phone and food comes right to you. 1.3043 0.04410 161 120 33 8
1134 I've hired Simpson here to advise you on your wardrobes. 1.3043 0.04666 161 123 27 11
1135 I think I used to hide under your bed. 1.3043 0.04582 161 122 29 10
1136 You call this a diversity hire? 1.3043 0.04410 161 120 33 8
1137 They told him he'd never work on that planet again! But let me just say the MIT Media Lab's loss is our gain! Please welcome... 1.3043 0.04666 161 123 27 11
1138 Please welcome Bob, the honest politician, to our group of rare and unusual beings. 1.3043 0.04497 161 121 31 9
1139 I remind you of our commitment to diversity and inclusion. 1.3043 0.04410 161 120 33 8
1140 Can I keep him? He followed me home! 1.3043 0.03845 161 120 36 5
1141 First how about if we get all your pronouns straight? 1.3043 0.04497 161 121 31 9
1142 I know! , I know! He's my brother in law 1.3043 0.04321 161 119 35 7
1143 Whoa boy! There’s one in every crowd. 1.3043 0.04321 161 119 35 7
1144 That adjourns the area 51 tenant's meeting. 1.3043 0.04230 161 118 37 6
1145 Dr. Seuss wasn't available, but he did send his attorney, Mel. 1.3043 0.04137 161 125 27 9
1146 Look, I know he is unbelievably ugly, but give him a chance. 1.3043 0.04909 161 126 21 14
1147 OK, we're diversified. Now what? 1.3043 0.04497 161 121 31 9
1148 The new hire will let us break into the human market and meet affirmative action. 1.3043 0.04582 161 122 29 10
1149 He's the new guy from human resources 1.3043 0.04410 161 120 33 8
1150 Through the gig economy, we can staff a position under every child's bed. 1.3043 0.04410 161 120 33 8
1151 This is Benny...he’s weirder than he looks. 1.3043 0.04042 161 116 41 4
1152 Let's just hit him with the budget deficit, the 'boo' is redundant. 1.3043 0.04497 161 121 31 9
1153 Our campaign should stress there is no conclusive scientific evidence of any side effects 1.3043 0.04137 161 117 38 5
1154 Of course it's over the top, but the market's ready for something bizarre. 1.3043 0.04230 161 123 29 9
1155 Shrague,here,is going to talk to us about genetic mutations. 1.3043 0.04497 161 121 31 9
1156 With the new Secretary for Housing and Urban Development,I think this will be the best Cabinet ever. 1.3043 0.04582 161 122 29 10
1157 I want to introduce our new CEO. Mr Al Lien. 1.3043 0.04554 138 101 32 5
1158 There’s something you don’t see often, a man in a suit on casual Friday. 1.3037 0.04850 135 101 27 7
1159 Paralyzed, Billy remembered he forgot to lock his front door this morning. 1.3023 0.05459 129 101 17 11
1160 Though he might seem like a strange fit for us, Ted’s last gig was with the Department of Motor Vehicles. 1.3023 0.04996 129 97 25 7
1161 Franklin says we should start the invasion in America. Apparently, their leader isn't very brave. 1.3023 0.04873 129 96 27 6
1162 Is there anything scarier than a white man? 1.3023 0.04996 129 97 25 7
1163 Ok, so that's three children on rye, four children on whole wheat and one tuna melt. 1.3023 0.05116 129 98 23 8
1164 Well, it all started with microdosing, then I just kept increasing the dosage... 1.3023 0.04996 129 97 25 7
1165 Let's all welcome Jared, the new Secretary of the Swamp. 1.3023 0.05116 129 98 23 8
1166 And you're suggesting a PR nightmare would be a bad thing? 1.3023 0.05116 129 98 23 8
1167 Waiter, seven monster drinks. 1.3019 0.04867 159 124 22 13
1168 I know, but HR said we needed more diversity. 1.3019 0.04349 159 120 31 8
1169 Whose turn is it to eat the new guy for lunch " 1.3019 0.04439 159 119 32 8
1170 Good evening Distinguished Creatures, George has hired us to terrify his son. Lizzy you lurk in the closet and Blobby you slither under the bed." 1.3019 0.04701 159 122 26 11
1171 All in favor 1.3019 0.03760 159 125 26 6
1172 It's Halloween somewhere. 1.3019 0.04349 159 118 34 7
1173 I'll give him a week... 1.3019 0.04439 159 119 32 8
1174 It’s, “Bring a Human to Work” day. Didn't you hear? 1.3019 0.04615 159 121 28 10
1175 We're here to decide if we are going to deport this illegal alien. 1.3019 0.04615 159 121 28 10
1176 Time for a vote. All those in favor of medium rare raise your hands. 1.3019 0.04439 159 119 32 8
1177 Look, I know his kind might represent the values most damaging to life in our galaxy, but let's try to understand why he won't vote to impeach. 1.3019 0.04439 159 119 32 8
1178 Don't worry about whether he'll fit in, he's from HR 1.3019 0.04349 159 118 34 7
1179 I finally have the Cabinet I've always wanted! 1.3019 0.04256 159 117 36 6
1180 So we're accepting humans now? What is this, a zoo? 1.3019 0.04256 159 117 36 6
1181 Looks like no one told Gary we do a casual Friday. 1.3019 0.04528 159 120 30 9
1182 Did we drain the swamp or what?! 1.3019 0.04162 159 116 38 5
1183 No but, where are you really from? 1.3019 0.04256 159 117 36 6
1184 It appears that nudity is not universal in our galaxy. 1.3019 0.04528 159 120 30 9
1185 Clearly, he will only last a couple of days. 1.3019 0.04349 159 118 34 7
1186 Hey Frank, it’s casual Friday. 1.3019 0.04439 159 119 32 8
1187 We sure will be sad when animals like this go extinct. NOT! 1.3019 0.04256 159 117 36 6
1188 I know it’s nepotism but I promised my wife we’d hire her nephew. 1.3019 0.04528 159 120 30 9
1189 As your Christmas bonus this year, you’ll all be receiving subscriptions to the Insect of the Month Club. 1.3019 0.04439 159 119 32 8
1190 Please welcome Marc, our new diversity manager! 1.3019 0.04162 159 116 38 5
1191 It was so much easier when it was just bulls and bears. 1.3019 0.04256 159 117 36 6
1192 Please welcome Steve to the corporate world. 1.3019 0.04528 159 120 30 9
1193 Look, I know it’s scary, but somebody has to hide under Trump’s bed. 1.3019 0.04785 159 123 24 12
1194 And now the new guy wants to talk to us about something called diversity. 1.3019 0.04615 159 121 28 10
1195 Ben is a humanoid, he has feelings, but no brains, look at him. 1.3019 0.04615 159 121 28 10
1196 Great costume boss! 1.3019 0.04439 159 119 32 8
1197 Would you help us with our inclusivity statement? 1.3019 0.04528 159 120 30 9
1198 I am pleased to introduce you all to the newest member of the Evolutionary Dead End Society. 1.3019 0.04785 159 123 24 12
1199 Here's our latest candidate for extinct species membership. 1.3019 0.04701 159 122 26 11
1200 Sorry I’m only human. 1.3019 0.04349 159 118 34 7
1201 We've been asked to limit our dining to U.S.Senate Republicans and their base...of course, junk food, I know, I know... 1.3019 0.04785 159 123 24 12
1202 You were a lot scarier under the bed. 1.3019 0.04701 159 122 26 11
1203 He's come to talk about diversity. 1.3019 0.04162 159 116 38 5
1204 Andrew, no need to stare at the human. It's not polite. We are in charge now. 1.3019 0.04439 159 119 32 8
1205 It says they are "clothes" and it will not take them off. 1.3019 0.04256 159 117 36 6
1206 OK, So the Doc's vaccine still needs work, what's next on our agenda? 1.3019 0.04615 159 121 28 10
1207 Yes, I agree he is weird looking, but let's be tolerant. 1.3019 0.04162 159 116 38 5
1208 Meet our new VP of Human Resources 1.3019 0.04065 159 115 40 4
1209 We just voted you onto the diversity committee. 1.3019 0.04701 159 122 26 11
1210 I'd would now like to introduce Kevin, who is here to talk about the new dress code. 1.3019 0.04615 159 121 28 10
1211 ...and now luncheon is serving 1.3019 0.04528 159 120 30 9
1212 Who brought the weirdo? 1.3019 0.04439 159 121 29 9
1213 So are we all agreed on fuchsia for the drapes then? 1.3016 0.05197 126 96 22 8
1214 I don't know why he's smiling, either. 1.3015 0.04931 136 103 25 8
1215 Just bring us the usual, Bob. 1.3015 0.04467 136 99 33 4
1216 Let's check his ID to make sure he's not an illegal alien. 1.3015 0.05040 136 104 23 9
1217 It's time to diversify the board. 1.3008 0.05005 133 101 24 8
1218 This is Dave, he's going to be in charge of diversity 1.3008 0.04771 133 99 28 6
1219 And this is Phil. He'll be leading us through diversity training. 1.3008 0.05117 133 102 22 9
1220 Meet Bob-our new head of diversity and inclusion. 1.3008 0.04651 133 98 30 5
1221 Let me introduce our diversity hire, Bob. 1.3008 0.05117 133 102 22 9
1222 Chet, our diversity officer, says we need to hire more white males. 1.3008 0.04651 133 98 30 5
1223 Please meet Jeff, our new diversity hire. 1.3008 0.04889 133 100 26 7
1224 See, I told you guys humans existed. 1.3008 0.05117 133 102 22 9
1225 Noah, the board has voted you out. We've decided to rule the planet ourselves without you humans and the other animals. Take some time off. Maybe get a boat. 1.3000 0.04416 160 120 32 8
1226 Sorry, I was using the phrase 'fresh blood' metaphorically. 1.3000 0.04675 160 123 26 11
1227 Let's give a warm welcome to our new diversity hire. 1.3000 0.04590 160 122 28 10
1228 I believe I made it very clear that Bring Your Human to Work Day is on Wednesday, Gargablat! 1.3000 0.04416 160 120 32 8
1229 I know, I know. But HR says we have GOT to start walking the talk on diversity. 1.3000 0.04234 160 118 36 6
1230 I think Steve can bring a more human touch to our business. 1.3000 0.04416 160 118 32 8
1231 I know he smells, but we have hot sauce. 1.3000 0.04416 160 119 32 8
1232 Meet Stanley, our diversity hire. 1.3000 0.05197 130 100 21 9
1233 I want you all to meet an ET who has come to visit us. 1.2992 0.05281 127 98 20 9
1234 Don't let the opposable thumbs fool you, Henry is a cold blooded litigator. 1.2992 0.05039 127 96 24 7
1235 So then I got this great deal on a little cottage in Area 51.... 1.2984 0.05119 124 94 23 7
1236 I’ll just come out and say it, it’s the elephant in the room... Bob from accounting just looks funny. 1.2981 0.04118 161 118 38 5
1237 Someone didn’t get the memo about casual Friday’s 1.2981 0.04303 161 122 31 8
1238 Now, we're all monsters...and we've done some terrible things, but Paul and his fellow humans have found a way to destroy an entire planet. So, let's give it up for Paul from Ohio! We need more Pauls in the galaxy. 1.2977 0.05163 131 101 21 9
1239 Welcome to the Inhuman Resources Department. 1.2975 0.04623 158 121 27 10
1240 If we're really serious about diversity then we have to take him seriously. 1.2975 0.04354 158 118 33 7
1241 C'mon in, Leonard. We are fully committed to a policy of diversity in the boardroom. 1.2975 0.04535 158 120 29 9
1242 Fred here will be leading us in today's Diversity Workshop 1.2975 0.04445 158 119 31 8
1243 Due to recent incidents, Phil from HR will now review our dorsal fin discrimination policy. 1.2975 0.04354 158 118 33 7
1244 I know he looks like the dog's breakfast, but his beauty is on the inside. 1.2975 0.04354 158 118 33 7
1245 And now my fellow reptilians, Mr. Homo Sapien will present an update on earthly climate change. 1.2975 0.04260 158 117 35 6
1246 Please welcome Mr. Armstrong - he joins us from a place called Area 51 1.2975 0.04445 158 119 31 8
1247 The new guy is called Greg, Derek, and he's more of a monster than you'll ever be. He puts mayonnaise on hot dogs. 1.2973 0.05519 111 85 19 7
1248 Meet, Victor, the scientist who modified our genes." 1.2968 0.04111 155 113 38 4
1249 Remember when we told this guy he was the new head of marketing?! He looked at us like we were from outer space. 1.2968 0.04406 155 116 32 7
1250 Who ordered the human? 1.2968 0.04406 155 116 32 7
1251 This is Jim from Human Resources. 1.2968 0.04406 155 116 32 7
1252 This is Ted. He is here to walk us through some rebranding concepts. 1.2968 0.03902 155 111 42 2
1253 No, this is Steve, our new accountant. Lunch is named Trevor, and should be here any minute. 1.2968 0.04683 155 119 26 10
1254 Sorry Morris, you are not a good fit for this organization...... 1.2968 0.04501 155 117 30 8
1255 Everyone, this is Larry, our lunch... 1.2968 0.04683 155 119 26 10
1256 We decided to go with an outside hire! This is Dave. 1.2968 0.04501 155 117 30 8
1257 Eddie comes to us from a long line of Munsters" 1.2968 0.04683 155 119 26 10
1258 This is Roger. Don't worry, he's a monster on the inside. 1.2968 0.04310 155 115 34 6
1259 Who invited the extraterrestrial? 1.2968 0.04212 155 114 36 5
1260 It’s the new HR Director’s idea of diversity. 1.2968 0.04683 155 119 26 10
1261 Bob, you're fired...and you are also going to be lunch. 1.2968 0.04593 155 118 28 9
1262 The consultants insisted we boost our HR. 1.2968 0.04406 155 116 32 7
1263 Try not to stare at his odd shaped proboscis. 1.2966 0.04861 118 91 21 6
1264 Meet Jim. He chews with his mouth open. 1.2963 0.05305 108 81 22 5
1265 I think we need to address the elephant in the room. 1.2961 0.04925 152 119 21 12
1266 Yes, accounting. 1.2961 0.04461 152 114 31 7
1267 Here comes Norm! 1.2961 0.04261 152 112 35 5
1268 Gentlemen, we may have an image problem. 1.2961 0.04652 152 116 27 9
1269 I move that we eat the mammal. Seconder? 1.2961 0.04558 152 115 29 8
1270 Norm is here to help us think differently. 1.2961 0.04558 152 115 29 8
1271 I took the liberty of ordering lunch. 1.2961 0.04362 152 113 33 6
1272 Jeffords here is the second of our non monster hires. I assured him he will not be eaten. 1.2961 0.04745 152 117 25 10
1273 Let's give a global -warming welcome for our new species 1.2961 0.04052 152 110 39 3
1274 Here is the latest model of scary monsters- the corporate CEO 1.2961 0.04652 152 116 27 9
1275 Folks, lunch has arrived! 1.2961 0.04652 152 116 27 9
1276 Can everyone please stop scratching the table. 1.2961 0.04261 152 112 35 5
1277 The Ark leaves in 5 minutes. All aboard! 1.2961 0.04261 152 112 35 5
1278 Who forgot to send him the “clothing optional” memo? 1.2961 0.04158 152 111 37 4
1279 Our company's diversity-in-hiring initiative appears to be working. 1.2961 0.04745 152 117 25 10
1280 Meet Carl, our company’s latest example of human error 1.2955 0.06082 88 67 16 5
1281 Are there any dietary restrictions? 1.2949 0.04189 156 115 36 5
1282 If we aren’t careful, we’ll end up like him. 1.2949 0.04287 156 116 34 6
1283 Lunch will be served shortly. 1.2949 0.04287 156 116 34 6
1284 So, all in favor, say 'ervzpfosjf.' 1.2949 0.04382 156 117 32 7
1285 It’s okay. Diverse groups make better decisions. 1.2949 0.04567 156 119 28 9
1286 I see our lunch is here. 1.2949 0.04657 156 120 26 10
1287 I know, I know - but remember your diversity training. 1.2949 0.04382 156 117 32 7
1288 I’d like to thank everyone for attending our “Diversity in the Workplace” meetin 1.2949 0.04089 156 114 38 4
1289 This is Ken, and he'll be crunching numbers until The Count comes back. 1.2949 0.04382 156 117 32 7
1290 Meet our new diversity hire 1.2949 0.04189 156 115 36 5
1291 I say we pick up where we left off “bar scene in Star Wars” 1.2949 0.04382 156 117 32 7
1292 This is Dustin, our diversity hire. 1.2949 0.04657 156 120 26 10
1293 Derrick here will outline our new marketing plan and then we will eat him. 1.2949 0.04567 156 119 28 9
1294 The meeting will commence after we eat the caterer. 1.2949 0.04089 156 114 38 4
1295 It appears lunch has arrived. 1.2949 0.04567 156 119 28 9
1296 To improve diversity, I nominate this rich, white male for the vacant seat on the Board. 1.2949 0.04189 156 115 36 5
1297 Team, meet Larry. He's our new Human Resource member. 1.2949 0.03987 156 113 40 3
1298 We're now going to hear from the company's diversity champion. 1.2949 0.04382 156 117 32 7
1299 Bob works in Human Resources. 1.2949 0.04189 156 117 33 6
1300 I know he’s not much to look at but let’s make him welcome anyway. 1.2949 0.04382 156 117 32 7
1301 Remember, beauty is only skin deep. 1.2949 0.04382 156 117 32 7
1302 oh good,Delivery Dudes just sent us lunch. 1.2949 0.04089 156 114 38 4
1303 This is Dane from HR. He’s here to help us resolve the ‘scales in the breakroom’ problem. 1.2949 0.04567 156 119 28 9
1304 This is Steven, our newest member. I know someone you are hesitant to identify Steven as a monster but he just cheated on his wife with her sister. 1.2949 0.04476 156 118 30 8
1305 It's time we discussed the human in the room. 1.2949 0.04382 156 117 32 7
1306 Didn't you get the memo that today is Casual Friday, Frank? 1.2949 0.04476 156 118 30 8
1307 'This is Melvin, our new head of Human Resources. Hungry? He's your guy.' 1.2949 0.04567 156 119 28 9
1308 According to Bert here from our analytics unit, either we strategically evolve or we lose market share. 1.2949 0.04287 156 116 34 6
1309 Please welcome our newest member with open mouths. 1.2949 0.04287 156 121 26 8
1310 Their appearance is terrifying but are we sure they plan to harm us? 1.2949 0.04382 156 117 32 7
1311 Perhaps we should break for lunch. 1.2949 0.04567 156 119 27 9
1312 I’ve asked Bob here to take all of our ideas and bring them down to Earth. 1.2949 0.04476 156 118 30 8
1313 This is my partner Simon. He’s in real estate and is an Aquarius. 1.2949 0.04657 156 120 26 10
1314 I told you lunch would be here soon. 1.2949 0.04287 156 116 34 6
1315 I think it's fair to say that we have met our strategic Plan goal for diversity. 1.2949 0.04567 156 119 28 9
1316 I finally have my fantasy board of directors team! 1.2949 0.04476 156 118 30 8
1317 So if we added 10 pounds you would be more likely to buy him for roasting? 1.2949 0.04476 156 118 30 8
1318 This place has the weirdest waiters. 1.2949 0.04089 156 114 38 4
1319 He's at the table, but don't worry he's still on the menu. 1.2949 0.04476 156 118 30 8
1320 No one is scarier than our accountant 1.2949 0.04567 156 119 28 9
1321 So no one told the new guy about casual Friday? 1.2949 0.04476 156 118 30 8
1322 Forget about Russia. We'll show them what real foreign interference looks like in the 2020 election. 1.2946 0.05437 129 102 16 11
1323 Motion to assent that the tie is awesome. 1.2946 0.05092 129 99 22 8
1324 Sure, an audit can be scary, but that doesn't make Todd a monster. 1.2941 0.04532 153 116 29 8
1325 Show of hands. Should he join us in the swamp? 1.2941 0.04338 153 114 33 6
1326 Our ideas are getting stale and tame so I invited him in hopes of shaking things up. 1.2941 0.04436 153 115 31 7
1327 The applicant's request for membership is denied! 1.2937 0.04921 126 95 25 6
1328 Maybe naked musical chairs just isn't your game. 1.2936 0.05727 109 85 16 8
1329 One of these things is not like the others, one of these things just doesn't belong. 1.2933 0.04874 150 117 22 11
1330 Diversity is good. 1.2933 0.04288 150 111 34 5
1331 Fear not, he's one of OUR lawyers. 1.2933 0.04687 150 115 26 9
1332 Allow me to introduce the appetizer . . . 1.2933 0.04492 150 113 30 7
1333 Who knew Bigfoot could clean up so well, right? 1.2933 0.04781 150 116 24 10
1334 Everyone, this is Harold, an IRS auditor. He'll be working with our 35-55 demographic. 1.2933 0.04590 150 114 28 8
1335 If we eat him, he can't testify. 1.2933 0.04492 150 113 30 7
1336 I say we table the earnings discussion and move on to Item 2... pronouns. 1.2933 0.04391 150 112 32 6
1337 So, we need to get our stories coordinated on Ukraine... 1.2933 0.04687 150 115 26 9
1338 I know he looks human but he's not that bad. 1.2933 0.04687 150 115 26 9
1339 Who ordered lame-ass for dessert? 1.2933 0.04492 150 113 30 7
1340 The ayes have it, 4-3. Mankind is now officially a member of the Extinction Club! 1.2933 0.04687 150 115 26 9
1341 One of these things is not like the other, one of these things doesn't belong... 1.2933 0.04492 150 113 30 7
1342 So I understand you are all applying for the President's Cabinet? 1.2933 0.04687 150 115 26 9
1343 Umm...sure. This IS a costume party. 1.2933 0.04687 150 115 26 9
1344 So Robert, got any rules of disorder?” 1.2933 0.04492 150 113 30 7
1345 Everybody, I'd like to introduce Phil, our new chief of diversity. 1.2933 0.04288 150 111 34 5
1346 Everybody, shh shh shh. It's here. 1.2933 0.04590 150 114 28 8
1347 One-size-fits-all MAGA hats will not work for us. 1.2933 0.04590 150 114 28 8
1348 Shall we find Funny Face a seat? 1.2933 0.04340 150 114 29 7
1349 Despite this year’s efforts, 68% of Americans still think evolution is a hoax. 1.2933 0.04492 150 113 30 7
1350 You have nothing to worry about. Bill is just here to observe. 1.2933 0.04182 150 110 36 4
1351 Who invited Picasso? 1.2933 0.04687 150 115 26 9
1352 So, as promised, Lenny here is going to explain to us what white privilege is and why we should care. 1.2933 0.04492 150 113 30 7
1353 He's our new Human Resources manager. 1.2933 0.04590 150 114 28 8
1354 I think it's time we talk about the elephant in the room. 1.2933 0.04590 150 114 28 8
1355 He’s our new temp, try not to stare! 1.2933 0.04391 150 112 32 6
1356 Meet Jim. His wife sent him to Monsters Anonymous. 1.2933 0.04590 150 114 28 8
1357 And this is Doctor Seuss Who'll put us to good use. 1.2933 0.04590 150 114 28 8
1358 Let's try not to eat the job applicant this time, please. 1.2933 0.04965 150 118 20 12
1359 Gentlemen, my lawyer has given me very good news. We are no longer considered alien invaders. We are now undocumented citizens. And wait until you see the goodies that go with that! 1.2933 0.04781 150 116 24 10
1360 Memo from HR, it's a diversity issue. 1.2933 0.04182 150 110 36 4
1361 Everyone say hi to Ralph, this is his first day in cartoons. 1.2933 0.04874 150 117 22 11
1362 Mr Dubrow from the truck dealership is here to talk about big tires, big noise, and big fun. 1.2927 0.05128 123 94 22 7
1363 You say you want a r-evolution... 1.2927 0.04997 123 93 24 6
1364 We're out of chairs. Whose lap do you want to sit on? 1.2927 0.04997 123 93 24 6
1365 It’s come to our attention that there’s not enough white males here. 1.2927 0.04861 123 92 26 5
1366 Now to address the elephant in the room... 1.2927 0.05382 123 96 18 9
1367 Let’s welcome Jim, our newest hire. He has yet to drink the Kool-Aid. 1.2927 0.04997 123 93 24 6
1368 This is our new recruit. I thought you would all like to have him in for lunch. 1.2927 0.04997 123 93 24 6
1369 Sorry, bud, humans don't get a chair until they stop destroying their planet. 1.2917 0.05076 120 91 23 6
1370 Dave here would like to ask whoever’s been taking his pepperoni pizza from the break room to please stop.. 1.2917 0.05212 120 92 21 7
1371 Twelve angry men? 1.2914 0.04660 151 116 26 9
1372 Him? This year we've cut out the middle man for our "magic" meat. 1.2905 0.04523 148 112 29 7
1373 Alright, that's lunch. Great work everyone. 1.2905 0.04818 148 115 23 10
1374 I’m happy that a candidate is finally seeking the support of actual deplorables! 1.2905 0.04818 148 115 23 10
1375 Do I have a consensual tweet, grunt, growl and/or galactic hiss on his 'out of cage' privileges? 1.2905 0.04722 148 114 25 9
1376 I think its time to address the intern in the room. 1.2905 0.04420 148 111 31 6
1377 So, Deke is going to inherit the earth. 1.2905 0.04523 148 112 29 7
1378 Let's face it. We're aren't FAKE NEWS anymore! 1.2905 0.04623 148 113 27 8
1379 People like him used to sit in all your seats. 1.2905 0.04420 148 111 31 6
1380 Who ordered the human with dressing? 1.2905 0.04818 148 115 23 10
1381 All those opposed to draining the swamp, signify by raising whatever." 1.2905 0.04523 148 112 29 7
1382 Faculty meeting after long day at school 1.2905 0.04818 148 115 23 10
1383 Meet Jason, our new diversity consultant. 1.2905 0.04523 148 112 29 7
1384 Everybody, Dinner. Dinner, everybody. 1.2905 0.04420 148 111 31 6
1385 Dave, our apologies but the condo board decided you would just be too evolved for the building. 1.2905 0.04623 148 113 27 8
1386 What I actually said was 'Fred IS lunch'... 1.2905 0.04420 148 111 31 6
1387 Give Bob your lunch orders. 1.2905 0.04315 148 110 33 5
1388 Bob has been elected to join the Foreign Intelligence Committee. Let’s do our best to make sure he doesn’t feel alienated. 1.2905 0.04722 148 114 25 9
1389 Gary from HR is here to talk about appropriate workplace conduct. 1.2905 0.04420 148 111 31 6
1390 And now, we have a representative from the “Human” race. Please, don’t eat him. 1.2905 0.04623 148 113 27 8
1391 I know, but he was much easier to train than the monkey 1.2905 0.04420 148 111 31 6
1392 Meet Bob Smith, our new diversity consultant. 1.2905 0.04420 148 111 31 6
1393 This is Jerry from Human Resources 1.2905 0.04818 148 115 23 10
1394 Bob here is our new Head of Sales! Or lunch, if that doesn't work out. Peter Dolch, Chappaqua, NY 1.2905 0.04722 148 114 25 9
1395 Aliens say hi to bob, the feast will begin shortly, so start saying by to bob 1.2905 0.04523 148 111 29 7
1396 Hideous creatures of the universe, I have found the vilest of us all. He's a lawyer. 1.2905 0.04818 148 115 23 10
1397 Todd's here to help us imagine more realistic nightmares. 1.2905 0.04315 148 110 33 5
1398 You'll be happy to know, tech support has arrived. 1.2886 0.04694 149 115 25 9
1399 Well fellows ... this is what my mother would have called a "motley crew!" 1.2883 0.05337 111 85 20 6
1400 Everyone, meet Keith. He’s our diversity hire. 1.2881 0.05121 118 90 22 6
1401 Sorry House committees, Trump is running late. 1.2877 0.04342 146 109 32 5
1402 Gentlemen please meet Irwin, our lunch. 1.2877 0.04450 146 110 30 6
1403 Jim will be joining us because the company feels he'll be delicious. 1.2877 0.04450 146 110 30 6
1404 He didn't get the "clothing optional Fridays" memo. 1.2877 0.04450 146 110 30 6
1405 Wow! Who dressed YOU today? 1.2877 0.04657 146 112 26 8
1406 And now for the scariest one of all, please welcome our attorney. 1.2877 0.04758 146 113 24 9
1407 This is Bob; he'll be leading our transition management team. 1.2877 0.04342 146 109 32 5
1408 He may be a white male, but he's Our White Male. 1.2877 0.04342 146 109 32 5
1409 Who invited the weird-o? 1.2877 0.04657 146 112 26 8
1410 We're sorry but you're a little too creepy for this group. 1.2877 0.04450 146 110 30 6
1411 Are we all going to just ignore the 167 pound human in the room? 1.2877 0.04232 146 108 34 4
1412 No worries! Area 52 is three doors down on the left. 1.2877 0.04657 146 112 26 8
1413 And to expand our diversity training . . . 1.2877 0.04657 146 112 26 8
1414 This is Bert, our new affirmative action hire. 1.2877 0.04342 146 109 32 5
1415 Who invited this monster? 1.2877 0.04555 146 111 28 7
1416 Look, here comes lunch. 1.2877 0.04450 146 110 30 6
1417 Now, when we bring in the cable news cameras, it is essential that you express your adulation effusively. 1.2877 0.04342 146 109 32 5
1418 I promise, we're just PRETENDING to drain the swamp. 1.2877 0.04758 146 113 24 9
1419 Allow me to introduce our new employee who helps us meet our Homo sapiens quota. 1.2877 0.04232 146 108 34 4
1420 Pat's preferred pronoun is They. 1.2877 0.04450 146 110 30 6
1421 It’s time our company branches out and opens its doors to the white man. 1.2877 0.04758 146 113 24 9
1422 This is our latest prototype, just in time for the 2020 elections. 1.2857 0.04424 147 111 30 6
1423 He’s the only one qualified for Human Resources. 1.2857 0.04528 147 112 28 7
1424 It's ok! He's here legally. 1.2857 0.04630 147 113 26 8
1425 This is our year to win! 1.2857 0.04208 147 109 34 4
1426 You have a problem with the appetizer? 1.2857 0.04208 147 109 34 4
1427 We've agreed not to eat or drink any part of the intern until he's read the minutes from our last meeting. 1.2857 0.04208 147 109 34 4
1428 Grezelzip has informed me that he has decided to identify as 'human'." 1.2857 0.04729 147 114 24 9
1429 It's that time of year again. Max is here will be explaining your new insurance options. 1.2857 0.04729 147 114 24 9
1430 I'd like you to welcome, Brad. His species went extinct on a planet he calls "Earth". 1.2857 0.04729 147 114 24 9
1431 Who let this weirdo in? 1.2857 0.04317 147 110 32 5
1432 Hey, who’s the freak in the suit? 1.2857 0.04317 147 110 32 5
1433 We're getting a lot of criticism for a lack of diversity on our board, so we hired a white, middle-aged man. 1.2857 0.04630 147 113 26 8
1434 Ted's here to join us for lunch" 1.2857 0.04528 147 112 28 7
1435 Well. This is embarrassing. 1.2857 0.04317 147 110 32 5
1436 Nightmares are up 20% this quarter. 1.2857 0.04630 147 116 22 9
1437 I see the diversity training is coming along nicely. 1.2857 0.04528 147 112 28 7
1438 Everyone, welcome our new diversity hire, Reggie. 1.2857 0.04096 147 108 36 3
1439 Look intimidating. His worst nightmare is a pointless meeting. 1.2857 0.04827 147 115 22 10
1440 He’s a Rhodes Scholar, got his law degree from Harvard and has a PhD in Public Policy. I also understand he’ll be quite delicious. 1.2857 0.04317 147 110 32 5
1441 He's probably harmless. Just don't make eye contact. 1.2857 0.04729 147 114 24 9
1442 This is Barry, our new immigration lawyer. 1.2857 0.04208 147 109 34 4
1443 Just remember, four legs good, two legs . . . 1.2857 0.04528 147 112 28 7
1444 This is Noah to my left, who will be detailing the travel arrangements. 1.2857 0.04528 147 112 28 7
1445 Another one from HR? 1.2857 0.04424 147 111 30 6
1446 Is anybody going to eat this last one? 1.2857 0.04729 147 114 24 9
1447 This is our new hire, hu-man. 1.2857 0.04528 147 112 28 7
1448 Don't worry, guys. He's a monster alright. 1.2857 0.04096 147 108 36 3
1449 Here at MONSTER, Inc. we are committed to diversity. 1.2847 0.04370 144 108 31 5
1450 Ralph suggests yellow chiffon 1.2845 0.05167 116 89 21 6
1451 Jim will oversee the next phase of our diversity outreach. 1.2845 0.05310 116 90 19 7
1452 Welcome to the 80th annual 'How to Trick not Treat', conference! 1.2845 0.04711 116 86 27 3
1453 I'd like to introduce Bob, who is either a new intern or brunch. 1.2837 0.03941 141 102 38 1
1454 Gentleman, this is our new image consultant James, who made Bernie Madoff almost seem human. 1.2837 0.04648 141 108 26 7
1455 Mr. Dershowitz, here, believes that we may be able to use Lawrence v. Texas to finally come out of the closet... 1.2837 0.04538 141 107 28 6
1456 Let's take a break....I see lunch has arrived. 1.2837 0.04309 141 105 32 4
1457 We have one year to run those Facebook ads and win this thing! 1.2837 0.04861 141 110 22 9
1458 Meet our inclusion and diversity officer." 1.2837 0.04756 141 109 24 8
1459 So, that's the final decision. We will all get behind the mammal. 1.2837 0.04538 141 107 28 6
1460 I call the first meeting of ex-cabinet members to order! 1.2837 0.04648 141 110 23 8
1461 Please welcome Ned, he's here to liven up the meeting. 1.2837 0.04648 141 108 26 7
1462 Meet Bob. Our new Head of Diversity. 1.2837 0.04648 141 108 26 7
1463 Welcome to the Committee, Frank. Ork will show you where the wild things are. 1.2837 0.04538 141 107 28 6
1464 No it's cool guys, he's a politician 1.2837 0.04425 141 106 30 5
1465 Jim’s a debt collector. He’s here to help with your scare tactics. 1.2837 0.04965 141 111 20 10
1466 You guys remember Mikey? He was that scary monster over our beds all those years ago. 1.2837 0.04756 141 109 24 8
1467 Ah, I see lunch has just arrived. 1.2837 0.04648 141 108 26 7
1468 Bob, recognizing his inexcusable omission, tried to explain the absence of donuts. 1.2837 0.04648 141 108 26 7
1469 There's one in every crowd! 1.2837 0.04190 141 104 34 3
1470 The guy from planet Omega was even uglier. 1.2837 0.04309 141 105 32 4
1471 Remember, we’re government contractors. 1.2837 0.04756 141 109 24 8
1472 Gentlemen, we have achieved Diversity.” 1.2837 0.04425 141 106 30 5
1473 Ok boomer. 1.2837 0.04648 141 108 26 7
1474 This is our new colleague. I expect that you will make him feel welcome, even though he is a monster. 1.2837 0.04861 141 110 22 9
1475 But guys, think how he'll up our diversity profile! 1.2837 0.04538 141 107 28 6
1476 I think Monsters & Steve Inc. has a nice ring to it. 1.2837 0.04861 141 110 22 9
1477 We’re going to build a wall. 1.2837 0.04309 141 105 32 4
1478 It's time we all addressed the elephant in the room. 1.2837 0.04648 141 108 26 7
1479 Folks, meet the new star of our latest horror film! 1.2837 0.04425 141 109 26 6
1480 All in favor, say ‘Grvbbzzztklks.’ 1.2837 0.04648 141 108 26 7
1481 He might not be much to look at, but his work is out of this world. 1.2837 0.04648 141 108 26 7
1482 Take your "Human to Work Day" 1.2837 0.04756 141 109 24 8
1483 Now Cosgrove here will walk us through the empathy phase. 1.2837 0.04756 141 109 24 8
1484 Uh oh, here comes Doug. Be nice. He’s sensitive about his appearance. 1.2837 0.04538 141 107 28 6
1485 I see you all got the message to come as you are. 1.2837 0.04538 141 107 28 6
1486 Does anyone have questions for Phil about our health care plan? 1.2837 0.04756 141 109 24 8
1487 Well I say it’s time we relaxed the no coat rule 1.2837 0.04538 141 107 28 6
1488 Please meet today's menu option. 1.2837 0.04425 141 106 30 5
1489 Welcome to the meeting for nightmares. This is Ben, the IRS agent. 1.2837 0.04756 141 109 24 8
1490 Everyone meet Greg...he’ll be leading our new Human Resources department 1.2837 0.04538 141 107 28 6
1491 Dave here has just been hired to address the lack of diversity on our team. I'm sure we will benefit by his views as a male. 1.2837 0.04538 141 107 28 6
1492 I get it! Dino's dressed up as a human being for Halloween! 1.2837 0.04756 141 109 24 8
1493 And now, your final test for inherent bias. 1.2837 0.04756 141 109 24 8
1494 All those in favor of eating Alfred, say aye" 1.2837 0.04861 141 110 22 9
1495 Stop drooling. He's not organic. 1.2837 0.04538 141 107 28 6
1496 George here is in marketing, obviously. 1.2837 0.04425 141 108 27 6
1497 Voting to decide Herb's admission to the Odd Fellow's Club. 1.2837 0.04482 141 108 27 6
1498 Is he the new diversity hire? 1.2837 0.04538 141 107 28 6
1499 I think we all know what a great job Ed has done as Vice President for Diversity. 1.2837 0.04538 141 107 28 6
1500 Bad news, team. They drained our swamp. 1.2837 0.04425 141 106 30 5
1501 Upper management here has long-been committed to diversity. 1.2837 0.04425 141 106 30 5
1502 Look at the nose on this guy! 1.2833 0.05046 120 92 22 6
1503 So The first step in our new on boarding policy is for each of us to share our Myers Briggs type. 1.2832 0.05402 113 88 18 7
1504 Here's Richard from 23 and Me to go over the geneology results. 1.2832 0.05402 113 88 18 7
1505 Our test group is not satisfied with new design of your chairs. 1.2828 0.04765 145 113 23 9
1506 Please offer a biped-friendly seat to our guest and state your pronouns. 1.2828 0.04864 145 114 21 10
1507 I thought a middle-aged white guy might help diversify the board. 1.2828 0.04344 145 109 31 5
1508 In the grand scheme of things, we're all God's children. 1.2826 0.05642 92 70 18 4
1509 So we’re clear! We put all humans, except Dick here, in terrariums. 1.2818 0.05187 110 84 21 5
1510 Well, Horace. Maybe if you didn't take so much time tying the perfect Windsor knot, there would be place for you to sit. 1.2818 0.05795 110 88 13 9
1511 And this is Steve from The Diversity & Inclusion program. 1.2817 0.04727 142 110 24 8
1512 I will now turn it over to Bob, who will talk about the new company-wide dress code. 1.2809 0.05977 89 69 15 5
1513 The test results on the new drug we slipped into the last meeting's water are in 1.2806 0.04793 139 108 23 8
1514 This is Ted. He'll be our lunch today. 1.2806 0.04682 139 107 25 7
1515 Bob has a different take on our complete world domination strategy. 1.2806 0.04454 139 105 29 5
1516 I hired them on Monster.com 1.2806 0.04793 139 108 23 8
1517 'The judge wants to know if you've reached a decision'. 1.2806 0.04454 139 105 29 5
1518 He always hits Reply All. 1.2806 0.04454 139 105 29 5
1519 Let's everyone welcome my new lead attorney to our White House anti-impeachment war room. 1.2806 0.04454 139 105 29 5
1520 This is our new intern Raj. Please don't eat him. 1.2806 0.04214 139 103 33 3
1521 Yes, at this morning's meeting, we have one very weird looking guest. 1.2806 0.04793 139 108 23 8
1522 Thank you all for agreeing to serve. This is by far the most competent Cabinet assembled over the last 3 years. 1.2806 0.04682 139 107 25 7
1523 This earthling is a fine specific for the prehistoric alien doll 1.2806 0.04570 139 106 27 6
1524 I second the motion to eat the pizza looking dude. 1.2806 0.04151 139 105 30 4
1525 Yes he’s edible. More importantly he’s my new assistant. 1.2806 0.04900 139 109 21 9
1526 And now a word from our Diversity Officer. 1.2806 0.04214 139 103 33 3
1527 Our appetizer this evening is Neil. 1.2806 0.04570 139 106 27 6
1528 Watch it! Here comes one, now. 1.2806 0.03825 139 100 39 0
1529 I'd like to call the diversity committee to order. 1.2806 0.04336 139 104 31 4
1530 Greetings, fellow mutants! 1.2806 0.04454 139 105 29 5
1531 I think we can assure Human Resources that we will not again celebrate our success by eating our Diversity Officer. 1.2806 0.04682 139 107 25 7
1532 Gross, he's wearing a tie! 1.2806 0.04336 139 104 31 4
1533 Forget about where the wild things are - let's focus on where the wild things lunch. 1.2806 0.04570 139 106 27 6
1534 This is Arnold. He's part of our diversity initiative." --Gerard Black Laurelton, New Yor 1.2806 0.04336 139 104 31 4
1535 So we've hired Marv, here, to be the new fresh face of the company. 1.2806 0.04088 139 104 31 3
1536 Hard to remember that far back but before B school I’m pretty sure I looked like him too 1.2806 0.04682 139 107 25 7
1537 Seems Mr. Butterworth was the only chap who didn't take those funny little candies my teenage son offered us. 1.2806 0.04682 139 107 25 7
1538 Don't worry, he doesn't understand a word we're saying 1.2806 0.04682 139 107 25 7
1539 All in favor of this affirmative action admission please raise your appendage. 1.2806 0.04336 139 106 28 5
1540 Each of us would like a slice of Impeachment Pie... and a box of wine. 1.2806 0.04570 139 106 27 6
1541 So this is the White House Zoo 1.2806 0.04682 139 107 25 7
1542 And now for a real scare; Gary from accounting has some news. 1.2806 0.04570 139 106 27 6
1543 He may not look like a monster, but you should see him when the wifi is slow 1.2806 0.04793 139 108 23 8
1544 And for you, Gwendoline, there’s Tofu a la Grecque. 1.2806 0.04793 139 108 23 8
1545 So is the Board serious about our diversity mission statement? 1.2806 0.04214 139 103 33 3
1546 All in favor of Dennis Kucinich as 2024 US President say 'aye'. 1.2806 0.04793 139 108 23 8
1547 He looks harmless enough 1.2806 0.04214 139 103 33 3
1548 He says we should wear suits so we blend in. 1.2806 0.04454 139 105 29 5
1549 I'll let Bob explain the science, but the good news is devolution is happening. And it's happening now. 1.2806 0.04570 139 106 27 6
1550 We need to reach the Human market. 1.2806 0.04088 139 102 35 2
1551 He may look harmless, but he’s got a sharp tongue 1.2806 0.04454 139 105 29 5
1552 I know $50,000 a month sounds like a lot for a board member, but it's worth it if you consider he knows nothing about our planet or our business. 1.2806 0.04793 139 108 23 8
1553 I don't care what the law says. We shouldn't have to admit anyone to our club that doesn't look like us! 1.2806 0.04570 139 106 27 6
1554 I've called you all here today to discuss the climate crisis. 1.2806 0.04682 139 107 25 7
1555 Hi Everyone, this is Benny from accounting who is going to tutor us on how to use macros in Excel. 1.2806 0.04454 139 105 29 5
1556 Once again, scaremonger of the month goes to algebra guy. 1.2806 0.04454 139 105 29 5
1557 Good news, everyone! My son Jerry's brought over one his Democrat friends again! 1.2806 0.04454 139 105 29 5
1558 I suggest we adjourn for lunch. 1.2806 0.04682 139 107 25 7
1559 And the NEW float for the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade is Leonard the Accountant!! 1.2806 0.04900 139 109 21 9
1560 If our new board member would kindly remove his clothes, we can begin. 1.2806 0.04682 139 107 25 7
1561 Area 51 humor; "A priest, a rabbi, and an imam walk into a spaceship." 1.2804 0.05277 107 82 20 5
1562 I hear that new guy's a real monster. 1.2786 0.04541 140 107 27 6
1563 Wow. the new guy is really creepy. 1.2786 0.04427 140 106 29 5
1564 Everyone, meet Dan, our new affirmative action policy hire. 1.2786 0.04762 140 109 23 8
1565 He said we should wait for the purple people eater 1.2786 0.04427 140 106 29 5
1566 Time for a break. Our lunch as arrived. 1.2786 0.04762 140 107 23 8
1567 Introducing Non-GMO. 1.2786 0.04427 140 106 29 5
1568 Now you're complaining? We all agreed we needed an attorney. 1.2786 0.04427 140 106 29 5
1569 Jim is here to talk to us today about open enrollment. Please give him your full attention and try not to eat him. 1.2786 0.04653 140 108 25 7
1570 This is our new Diversity Hire, Chad. 1.2786 0.04653 140 108 25 7
1571 Don't let the suit fool you: George can eat a bucket of uranium in three minutes. 1.2778 0.05398 108 84 18 6
1572 I present to you Pete, he's a horrible monster too. He uses mayonnaise on his fries. 1.2778 0.05709 108 86 14 8
1573 To start things off this morning, it looks like we could all use a cup of coffee. 1.2778 0.05235 108 83 20 5
1574 We can't eat him. He's the new accountant. 1.2774 0.04940 137 108 20 9
1575 See, I told you lunch would be served with a smile today. 1.2774 0.04830 137 107 22 8
1576 Before you say anything, just give Steve a chance; he gets real weird. 1.2774 0.03768 137 109 22 4
1577 You are all fired! 1.2774 0.04484 137 104 28 5
1578 This is Dave from Affirmative Action. 1.2774 0.04484 137 104 28 5
1579 Human on our Board? Show of paws. 1.2774 0.04717 137 106 24 7
1580 Dave from Adult Nightmares is here to tell us about audits. 1.2774 0.04602 137 105 26 6
1581 Here at Nightmares International, we're adding the 'guy next door' category, who in today's world of is as scary and dangerous as any one of us. 1.2774 0.04940 137 108 20 9
1582 This is Bob. He too joins us in costume as an endangered species: the honest Boeing executive. 1.2774 0.05047 137 109 18 10
1583 Please welcome Gary, our new Human Resources representative. 1.2774 0.04830 137 107 22 8
1584 I had breakfast delivered! 1.2774 0.04602 137 105 26 6
1585 Now let's all welcome Mr. Jones to the diversity committee. 1.2774 0.04238 137 102 32 3
1586 He's here to talk about the new dress code. 1.2774 0.04830 137 107 22 8
1587 Neil will be our first course today. 1.2774 0.04717 137 106 24 7
1588 Let's welcome Sam-I-Ain't to our little group os Seuss rejects! 1.2774 0.04940 137 108 20 9
1589 Kangaroo court jury duty. 1.2774 0.04109 137 101 34 2
1590 Who's up for a monster mash? 1.2774 0.04484 137 104 28 5
1591 Somebody forget their deodorant this morning? 1.2774 0.04602 137 105 26 6
1592 Looks may be deceiving, but he’s infamous in hostile takeovers. 1.2774 0.04363 137 103 30 4
1593 This is James. He's our first course tonight. 1.2774 0.03908 137 110 22 5
1594 He’s our diversity hire. 1.2774 0.04830 137 107 22 8
1595 Gorgle boc Andy Kaufman loogle. 1.2774 0.04717 137 109 20 8
1596 I thought we said no partners. 1.2774 0.04363 137 103 30 4
1597 Let’s break for lunch 1.2774 0.04602 137 105 26 6
1598 This is Donald three sticks; you might know his grandfather from the recently incinerated planet Earth. 1.2774 0.04940 137 108 20 9
1599 Our numbers are falling, folks, particularly in the under-the-bed and in-the-closet demographics. 1.2774 0.04484 137 104 28 5
1600 This is the management consultant who will lead or diversity training. 1.2774 0.04484 137 104 28 5
1601 This meeting of the top ranking GOP Senators is hereby called to order. Self-serve lunch is currently in the corner. 1.2774 0.04940 137 108 20 9
1602 I'm from a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away. 1.2774 0.04602 137 105 26 6
1603 We are gathered here as a result of Bill’s weird imagination... 1.2774 0.04830 137 107 22 8
1604 How many times do we have to tell you that it’s not yet Halloween, Jeff? 1.2774 0.04830 137 107 22 8
1605 Now, presenting our guest for dinner tonight... 1.2774 0.04109 137 103 31 3
1606 This is Beasley, human resource. 1.2774 0.04484 137 104 28 5
1607 I don't know why he's dressed like that, either, but be nice. 1.2774 0.04830 137 107 22 8
1608 Dude. It's casual Friday. 1.2774 0.04363 137 103 30 4
1609 Fred decided on a trickle-down or treat approach to Halloween. 1.2774 0.04717 137 106 24 7
1610 I think we should incorporate. 1.2774 0.04484 137 104 28 5
1611 Hi, my name is Mike and I've been a human for 34 years 1.2774 0.04602 137 105 26 6
1612 I know you're all anxious to hear about lunch. Matt, could you please introduce yourself to the board? 1.2774 0.04484 137 104 28 5
1613 We could use some more diversity around this place.” 1.2774 0.04484 137 104 28 5
1614 We love you Mr. President 1.2774 0.04940 137 108 20 9
1615 Are you lunch? 1.2774 0.04363 137 103 30 4
1616 He's fast too. 1.2774 0.04484 137 104 28 5
1617 I would like to introduce Tim,our new affirmative action hire. 1.2774 0.04830 137 107 22 8
1618 This is Jim. He’ll be in charge of our costume department. 1.2774 0.04602 137 105 26 6
1619 I guess they weren't kidding when they said the upper management are real monsters. 1.2774 0.05047 137 109 18 10
1620 In conclusion, though we are all different, we are exactly alike underneath. 1.2774 0.04602 137 105 26 6
1621 Management felt like we needed to add some diversity to the board. 1.2774 0.04717 137 106 24 7
1622 And now I'm pleased to introduce our new diversity hire! 1.2774 0.04363 137 103 30 4
1623 Do we have room at the table for one more monster? 1.2774 0.04717 137 106 24 7
1624 Here comes the diversity hire! 1.2774 0.04109 137 101 34 2
1625 The boss is sensitive so don’t mention his scar. 1.2774 0.04602 137 105 26 6
1626 So it settled. We Pickett Area 51 for equal rights. 1.2774 0.04484 137 104 28 5
1627 All those in favor raise your hand..... or foot....or whatever. 1.2774 0.04238 137 102 32 3
1628 I'm pleased to say we're making good on our diversity initiative! 1.2774 0.04830 137 107 22 8
1629 Well, you’ve got the Seven Deadly Sins. How may we hinder you? 1.2774 0.04717 137 106 24 7
1630 John will be leading our diversity workshop today. 1.2774 0.04830 137 107 22 8
1631 No, it's more about what he does. 1.2774 0.04602 137 105 26 6
1632 Next up is the role of the bumbling lab assistant who triggers the disaster. 1.2774 0.04717 137 106 24 7
1633 We always strive to be "all inclusive" 1.2774 0.04363 137 103 30 4
1634 I'm delighted to introduce today's Director of HR. Lunch! 1.2774 0.04363 137 103 30 4
1635 Putting aside for the moment the entire issue of table manners... 1.2774 0.04717 137 106 24 7
1636 So, how is Area 51 this time of year? 1.2774 0.04717 137 106 24 7
1637 Meet Phil,our new head of human resources. 1.2774 0.04717 137 106 24 7
1638 Anyone have any adverse experiences during our LSD clinical trial they would like to report? 1.2774 0.04717 137 106 24 7
1639 ...and he says any unsavory activity could result in a DNA test. 1.2774 0.04602 137 105 26 6
1640 Everyone welcome our diversity hire, Rick. 1.2774 0.04484 137 104 28 5
1641 With the success he's had with GEICO and AFLAC, Mr. Quigley is here to give us some tips on becoming corporate spokesmen. 1.2774 0.04717 137 106 24 7
1642 While there's no wrong answers, there are inquisitive idiots. 1.2768 0.05262 112 87 19 6
1643 And now Phil, from the chemical plant, will explain how we can all qualify for valuable prizes just by signing some paperwork. 1.2768 0.05412 112 88 17 7
1644 In the interest of diversity, I' thought it would be a good idea to interview a white male. 1.2768 0.05412 112 88 17 7
1645 Gentlemen, we're going to have to get more serious about presenting an appearance of diversity. 1.2768 0.04781 112 84 25 3
1646 Funny looking, isn't he? 1.2754 0.04212 138 103 32 3
1647 Why is Zorg the only one of you dressed for Halloween? 1.2754 0.04335 138 104 30 4
1648 Is there room at the table for an immigrant 1.2754 0.04456 138 105 28 5
1649 Would you all please get your hands off my abdomen. 1.2754 0.04573 138 106 26 6
1650 The challenge we face is how our brand of terror and fear can compete with current events. 1.2752 0.04855 109 82 24 3
1651 This is the architect who nixed the gargoyle idea. 1.2752 0.05354 109 85 18 6
1652 Look, we've all known for a while now that one of us just doesn't fit here anymore, so I'll say it; Bob, those moles are disgusting. 1.2752 0.05510 109 86 16 7
1653 Bad news, guys. They chose an Earth bird called turkey to honor at the new "Thanksgiving" bash. I hear on Earth, one turkey gets to meet the president. Maybe the other birds get better prizes. 1.2743 0.05370 113 89 17 7
1654 Welcome, Fred. We feel you'll fit right in. 1.2743 0.05221 113 88 19 6
1655 What is pepperoni pizza slice doing here? 1.2743 0.05515 113 90 15 8
1656 Its unanimous then, we'll eat Greg. 1.2743 0.05221 113 88 19 6
1657 Not quite the borschst belt, but Myerson here has booked us a gig playing the cantina in Mos Eisley. All in favor? 1.2743 0.05515 113 90 15 8
1658 He's my nephew. 1.2741 0.04262 135 106 25 4
1659 I see nobody else dressed up for Szelqxaart 1.2741 0.04753 135 105 23 7
1660 For the first order of business of the Imaginary Friends Club, I present our newest member: Husband Material. 1.2741 0.04867 135 106 21 8
1661 Now that Fred's back from vacation, he has a few questions about the last two weeks. 1.2741 0.04635 135 104 25 6
1662 This is Bill. He's from VERY FAR AWAY! 1.2741 0.04635 135 104 25 6
1663 OK, anyone opposed to eating Kevin? 1.2741 0.04635 135 104 25 6
1664 Hey look, a human costume. 1.2741 0.04390 135 102 29 4
1665 Jerry, this is our board--they've promised not to eat you. 1.2741 0.04390 135 102 29 4
1666 This is Cal, our new Chief Diversity Officer. 1.2741 0.04262 135 101 31 3
1667 Don't be alarmed it's only the human monster here to give us an update. 1.2741 0.04635 135 104 25 6
1668 This is Bob...our token human. 1.2741 0.04514 135 103 27 5
1669 This is the future! 1.2741 0.04390 135 102 29 4
1670 Sorry folks, didn't think the human would actually show up! 1.2741 0.04390 135 102 29 4
1671 Just act normal. 1.2741 0.04514 135 103 27 5
1672 Alright, which one of us is the tasting menu? 1.2741 0.04514 135 103 27 5
1673 George is here today to pitch the merits of clothing. 1.2741 0.04635 135 104 25 6
1674 GOOD NEWS1 We're all going to be in the next STAR WARS movie. 1.2741 0.04635 135 104 25 6
1675 I'm not sure you will fit in 1.2741 0.04390 135 102 29 4
1676 Meet Eugene. He is not from these parts. 1.2741 0.04262 135 101 31 3
1677 Then it's setled. Capitalism wins. We'll eat the humans. 1.2727 0.04699 132 102 24 6
1678 You know, it's nice to meet out from under the bed sometimes. 1.2727 0.04699 132 102 24 6
1679 Hey, if he doesn’t work out we can always eat him. 1.2727 0.04446 132 100 28 4
1680 Ok. Back to the drawing board for this one. 1.2727 0.04699 132 102 24 6
1681 On Earth, all the males look the same, so we only brought one in. 1.2727 0.05710 99 78 15 6
1682 I'd like you all to meet our new intern, Charles Darwin. 1.2727 0.04574 132 101 26 5
1683 He doesn’t fit in this cabinet 1.2727 0.04574 132 101 26 5
1684 I see that Jenkins didn't get the memo about come-as-you-are Fridays. 1.2727 0.04821 132 103 22 7
1685 And most monstrous of all: Patrick, our lawyer. 1.2721 0.04485 136 104 27 5
1686 He’s from a relatively new species. 1.2721 0.04485 136 105 24 5
1687 He may not seem scary yet, but wait 'til he starts his PowerPoint. 1.2721 0.04362 136 103 29 4
1688 To top off our diversity recruitment, I'm delighted to introduce.... 1.2721 0.04485 136 104 27 5
1689 Hal must have missed the message about casual Friday. 1.2721 0.04485 136 104 27 5
1690 Chad has some interesting ideas how to expand beyond our current targeted demographic. 1.2721 0.04362 136 103 29 4
1691 Who should we eat next? Show of hands? 1.2721 0.04485 136 104 27 5
1692 Our next item of business - "Lunch Presentation" - was a little misleading. 1.2721 0.04836 136 107 21 8
1693 Which of you ordered lunch? 1.2721 0.04235 136 104 28 4
1694 Careful. He’s got a power tie. 1.2721 0.04722 136 106 23 7
1695 The chair will recognize Mr. Hobbes. Mr. Hobbes? 1.2721 0.04105 136 101 33 2
1696 We said we need a new perspective, but hiring him may be going too far 1.2721 0.04722 136 106 23 7
1697 Whoa, check out Bob's crazy Halloween costume! 1.2721 0.04605 136 105 25 6
1698 Meet Josh Davidson, homo sapien! 1.2721 0.04605 136 105 25 6
1699 As you know we are an equal opportunity employer. 1.2721 0.04235 136 102 31 3
1700 He wanted to do a lunch, so I say let's! 1.2721 0.04235 136 102 31 3
1701 Have you all met our host? 1.2721 0.04235 136 104 28 4
1702 Bob may look a little different, but he's one heck of an accountant. 1.2721 0.04605 136 105 25 6
1703 Glad to have you. The last guy was a monster. 1.2721 0.04722 136 106 23 7
1704 Please welcome our new pink, fleshy, and delicious intern. 1.2721 0.04485 136 104 27 5
1705 So you're THE Hieronimus Bosch? 1.2721 0.04605 136 105 25 6
1706 Hey! Take off your clothes. Let's see what ya got! 1.2721 0.04722 136 106 23 7
1707 If it works with him, we can hire a female specimen next time. 1.2721 0.04485 136 104 27 5
1708 Clearly, our strength is we are not carbon copies. 1.2721 0.04836 136 107 21 8
1709 Keep up the good work-- our profits are monstrous! 1.2721 0.04722 136 106 23 7
1710 Live human up for grabs,boys ... 1.2721 0.04722 136 106 23 7
1711 And now a word from our Diversity Department. . . . 1.2721 0.04722 136 106 23 7
1712 No, Xanor, Kevin is in *charge* of lunch, he is not on the menu. 1.2721 0.04605 136 105 25 6
1713 This is our new intern, and, coincidentally, lunch. 1.2721 0.04722 136 106 23 7
1714 And the next we're going to hear from the cartoonist who created all of us! 1.2721 0.04947 136 108 19 9
1715 I think Jim is right, no one is going to scare anybody if we're always in a meeting. 1.2721 0.04722 136 106 23 7
1716 Everybody welcome Todd. Don't let appearances fool you. He's an ANIMAL! 1.2721 0.04485 136 104 27 5
1717 I’ve invited Jeremy for lunch, shall we give our thanks... 1.2721 0.04485 136 104 27 5
1718 All in favor of expanding to G8, say “Aye.” 1.2721 0.04485 136 104 27 5
1719 Darren here is a billionaire so he’s more of a monster than any of you. 1.2721 0.04947 136 108 19 9
1720 Diversity, schmaversity. We just can’t have a middle-aged white male human. 1.2721 0.04836 136 107 21 8
1721 He's casting the next version of Star Wars. 1.2721 0.04722 136 106 23 7
1722 Good question Dave, if one foot is dangling off the bed, that means they don't want it anymore. 1.2721 0.05056 136 109 17 10
1723 Relax. You've got this. Just imagine them naked! 1.2721 0.04605 136 105 25 6
1724 Fred, your human costume, just might be too scary for the Monster's Ball. 1.2721 0.04362 136 103 29 4
1725 Maurice Sendak is sorry but he can’t make today’s meeting 1.2721 0.04485 136 104 27 5
1726 We’ve come a long way since the Star Wars bar. 1.2721 0.04722 136 106 23 7
1727 I’d like everyone to say hello to our newest diversity hire, Norm. 1.2721 0.04235 136 102 31 3
1728 How would Darwin explain this? 1.2721 0.04836 136 107 21 8
1729 Due to some recent negative posts on the invasion,Glen will now be managing our corporate Twitter Earth account. 1.2721 0.05056 136 109 17 10
1730 I hired him to make us look good. 1.2721 0.04235 136 102 31 3
1731 We need gender diversity, too. 1.2721 0.04362 136 103 29 4
1732 Did every president before me have such a problem finding advisors who fit in? 1.2721 0.04605 136 105 25 6
1733 They're called clothes. It's a human thing. 1.2721 0.04235 136 102 31 3
1734 Who wants to chase our new intern first? 1.2721 0.04605 136 105 25 6
1735 I want to introduce Wilfred Wagner our new diversity officer. 1.2721 0.04485 136 104 27 5
1736 I’d like to meet Bob he’s the last holdover from the 21st-century 1.2721 0.04485 136 104 27 5
1737 Who sprang for the hors d'oeuvre? 1.2721 0.04605 136 105 25 6
1738 We brought Steve in to offer the white, male, human perspective. 1.2721 0.04362 136 103 29 4
1739 I worry that, despite our efforts at diversity, our board does not look enough like America. 1.2721 0.04836 136 107 21 8
1740 After traveling so many light-years, he confirmed the answer is still 42 1.2721 0.04836 136 107 21 8
1741 I’d like to introduce our newest board member, Chuck Darwin. 1.2721 0.04362 136 103 29 4
1742 I’d like to introduce Carl, who will be leading today’s diversity training. 1.2721 0.04605 136 105 25 6
1743 And for our special treat today, Elmer from accounting. 1.2721 0.04722 136 106 23 7
1744 As we've had challengess with the Earth market, we've brought in Joe. 1.2721 0.04605 136 105 25 6
1745 Bob's here because we have an issue with diversity. 1.2721 0.04605 136 105 25 6
1746 Welcome the next endangered species. 1.2721 0.04605 136 105 25 6
1747 Mr.George Orwell will be recording the minutes of all our meetings.. 1.2721 0.04722 136 106 23 7
1748 Great job tricking the new guy to dress for Halloween guys! 1.2721 0.04722 136 106 23 7
1749 This year's best costume contest prize goes to Bob in HR. 1.2721 0.04105 136 101 33 2
1750 All in favor of keeping Phil as Chairman raise you tentacle, claw, flipper, whatever... 1.2721 0.04722 136 106 23 7
1751 Bob here is going to talk about "Diversity in the Workplace." 1.2721 0.04485 136 104 27 5
1752 Yes, ugly, but loaded! 1.2721 0.04485 136 104 27 5
1753 We've chosen Tim to represent Earth, since he's the only one who answered our email. 1.2721 0.04722 136 106 23 7
1754 Meet our new Human Resource Manager. 1.2721 0.04485 136 104 27 5
1755 So we are agreed. We call him Gecko? 1.2721 0.04947 136 108 19 9
1756 I called this meeting to address problems, both real and imagined. 1.2721 0.04605 136 105 25 6
1757 He uses the pronouns "He", "His" and "Him" 1.2718 0.05378 103 80 18 5
1758 So please give your attention to Ted Davis from HR who’s here to talk about diversity. 1.2707 0.04417 133 101 28 4
1759 I brought lunch. 1.2707 0.04417 133 101 28 4
1760 Please welcome our new intern. I believe he represents the future. 1.2707 0.04417 133 101 28 4
1761 Okay. We finally have the food. 1.2707 0.04544 133 102 26 5
1762 This is George. He's our new diversity hire. 1.2707 0.04286 133 100 30 3
1763 Dave is here from human resources to update us on workplace bullying. 1.2707 0.04544 133 102 26 5
1764 The new guy would like permission to telecommute. 1.2707 0.04544 133 102 26 5
1765 Before we vote, Bob wants to share his views on our elimination of all mankind proposal. 1.2707 0.04906 133 105 20 8
1766 Can sales begin by explaining why our volumes are under water again this quarter? 1.2707 0.04668 133 103 24 6
1767 I thought we were all going to the party as humans this year. 1.2707 0.04544 133 102 26 5
1768 Our final applicant is Marvin. He's 5'7", 140 pounds. Anyone opposed to eating Marvin, aaah, I mean having him join our club, please raise an appendage. 1.2707 0.04668 133 103 24 6
1769 John is our diversity hire. 1.2707 0.04151 133 99 32 2
1770 As you know, I'm filling in for our esteemed leader while he's being impeached. 1.2707 0.04906 133 105 20 8
1771 Well, I see we've met our diversity requirements. 1.2707 0.04286 133 99 29 3
1772 Jim's our new intern. Don't eat him before the end of the semester. 1.2707 0.04668 133 103 24 6
1773 He's our new diversity consultant. 1.2707 0.04544 133 102 26 5
1774 I want to make it perfectly clear that John was not selected to meet a quota. 1.2707 0.04417 133 101 28 4
1775 We need a translator 1.2707 0.04668 133 103 24 6
1776 They thought that this board could use some diversity. 1.2707 0.04286 133 102 26 4
1777 I vote we let him go and capture someone with better antidotes. 1.2707 0.04544 133 104 23 6
1778 We're having Steve for lunch today. 1.2707 0.04668 133 103 24 6
1779 I'm all for diversity but this is getting out of hand. 1.2707 0.04417 133 101 28 4
1780 There is always one who doesn't dress up for Halloween. 1.2707 0.04789 133 104 22 7
1781 None of us want to, but we have to address the white male in the room. 1.2707 0.04789 133 104 22 7
1782 And now, with “How to Annihilate a planet”, here’s Bob. 1.2707 0.04906 133 105 20 8
1783 I must say - they’ve perfected lumbar. 1.2707 0.04417 133 101 28 4
1784 I guess it's not a myth! Humans do live under the bed! 1.2707 0.04668 133 103 24 6
1785 Please welcome our new recruit from the Diversity and Equity program, Dave! 1.2707 0.04544 133 102 25 5
1786 Yeah, so I ate his brain, so sue me. 1.2707 0.04668 133 103 24 6
1787 Hey everyone, this is Tim. I think he’ll fit right in. 1.2707 0.04544 133 102 26 5
1788 Who wants to be on the dress-code committee? 1.2707 0.04417 133 103 22 5
1789 Look what I found on top of my bed. 1.2707 0.04544 133 102 26 5
1790 Well, then if no one wants to eat Bob, we're adjourned. 1.2707 0.04668 133 103 24 6
1791 I usually don’t introduce people at staff meetings. 1.2707 0.04544 133 102 26 5
1792 I don't know what you guys are looking at. I heard there was food. 1.2707 0.04668 133 103 24 6
1793 Think of this as the one upside of climate change. 1.2707 0.04668 133 103 24 6
1794 If we are going to take diversity seriously, we should hire him. 1.2707 0.04286 133 100 30 3
1795 Everybody, this is Ted. Ted's joining us from Newton-Mackie, has years of experience in supply chain management, and doesn't mind the occasional bite. I refer you to the recent email from HR for your guidelines vis-à-vis biting protocols. 1.2707 0.05133 133 107 16 10
1796 Token white man 1.2707 0.04668 133 103 24 6
1797 Order!..Order! James is now taking our lunch orders. 1.2707 0.04668 133 103 24 6
1798 Yes, I know. He's hideous. but scooch over and make room anyway. It's the least we can do. 1.2707 0.04417 133 101 28 4
1799 He's new. Try not to stare 1.2707 0.04417 133 101 28 4
1800 Gomez Addams has agreed to be our facilitator. 1.2707 0.04668 133 103 24 6
1801 Everyone, this is our new head of HR, Ted. Don't worry, he doesn't bite. 1.2707 0.04906 133 105 20 8
1802 You all know Elmer, our EVP -HR (Diversity). 1.2707 0.04544 133 102 26 5
1803 I would ask for your coffee orders, but this seems more like a Monster Energy kind of meeting. 1.2707 0.04668 133 103 24 6
1804 Get a chair for the freak. 1.2707 0.04151 133 99 32 2
1805 Sorry guys...the lunch cart was all out of bagels. 1.2707 0.04544 133 102 26 5
1806 All in favor of impeaching the human scum, say 'Aye!' 1.2707 0.05021 133 106 18 9
1807 This is Steve, He’s a sex offender 1.2707 0.05021 133 106 18 9
1808 Let's take a break, guys. Lunch has arrived. 1.2707 0.04417 133 101 28 4
1809 He says his name is Noah. What a joke. 1.2707 0.04417 133 101 28 4
1810 Mr. President, you've officially drained the Swamp. 1.2707 0.04789 133 104 22 7
1811 Ahh, the main course has arrived! 1.2707 0.04906 133 105 20 8
1812 It’s not Fred’s fault that the rest of you forgot to wear a Halloween costume. 1.2707 0.04286 133 100 30 3
1813 Professor Walters will describe his research on the dangers of radiation. 1.2707 0.04668 133 103 24 6
1814 You asked for diversity... 1.2707 0.04286 133 100 30 3
1815 Ejkwivnok bvrpit jabebebnok!" (Order lunch? This stupid human doesn't realize he's lunch!) "El-el-el-ha-ha-ha! 1.2707 0.04544 133 102 26 5
1816 Please welcome our new Director of Outreach Services 1.2707 0.04789 133 104 22 7
1817 Chairman Schiff Will See You Now. 1.2707 0.04544 133 102 26 5
1818 He’s either our new diversity hire or tonight’s dinner 1.2707 0.04789 133 104 22 7
1819 Hey human guy, what are you doing on our planet ? 1.2707 0.04789 133 104 22 7
1820 Shall the representative of earth be given a chance to explain - yes or no? 1.2707 0.04789 133 104 22 7
1821 Meet Phil, our diversity hire. 1.2707 0.04417 133 101 28 4
1822 To complete our diversity initiative, I've hired Bob here to be our official mansplainer. 1.2707 0.04417 133 101 28 4
1823 I know "Monsters and a human Inc." isn't as catchy, but we need to diversify. 1.2707 0.04544 133 102 26 5
1824 I warned you that the new board member is weird looking and is always wearing a costume, so don't stare 1.2707 0.04544 133 102 26 5
1825 We think that this costume, which we are planning to market for next year’s Halloween, will scare the bejesus out of everyone. 1.2707 0.04668 133 103 24 6
1826 All in favor, say "Arrrrg." 1.2707 0.04789 133 104 22 7
1827 We've invited Brad here today to try to explain this whole 'Trump' thing to the group. Brad, the floor is yours. 1.2697 0.05709 89 69 16 4
1828 I assigned Sid to scare that bed wetter Timmy Gordon. This is gonna be fun. 1.2697 0.05929 89 70 14 5
1829 So, ham and swiss on rye for everyone? 1.2692 0.04606 130 100 25 5
1830 I'd like you all to welcome Bob to the Species Extinction Club. 1.2692 0.04734 130 101 23 6
1831 Digby here is joining us from accounting, and...Leonard! Leonard, you're staring again. 1.2692 0.04734 130 101 23 6
1832 This is Netflix, we'll option anything 1.2692 0.04606 130 100 25 5
1833 So the ayes have it, Humans are the new acting dominant species until Cockroaches are available. 1.2692 0.05333 104 81 18 5
1834 So glad I am not the only one in the Oval Office! 1.2692 0.04475 130 99 27 4
1835 This is my new assistant, Jeffery. He's participating in our new diversity program. 1.2692 0.04475 130 99 27 4
1836 Houston, we have a problem! 1.2692 0.05333 104 81 18 5
1837 I'd like to welcome Brian to the team. Once you get to know him, you'll realize he's really one of us. 1.2692 0.04734 130 101 23 6
1838 In conclusion, Bill says if we play are cards right, a lucky few of us will have cameos on Sesame Street 1.2692 0.04606 130 100 25 5
1839 I'm afraid we need to cut costs... from now on, some of you will have to sleep under kids' beds together. 1.2692 0.04858 130 102 21 7
1840 Okay, here's the deal. He's the boss's nephew. So we have to pretend that the only guy with pants is not the guy that keeps shitting his pants. 1.2692 0.04339 130 98 29 3
1841 This is my husband, John. He'll be joining us for dinner. 1.2692 0.04475 130 99 27 4
1842 Gerald, we've all gathered here today to tell you that you are loved, and it breaks our heart to watch alcohol destroy your life. 1.2692 0.05333 104 81 18 5
1843 Congratulations on an existentially frightening Halloween, everyone. But special kudos to this season’s most chilling monstrosity, Presidential Apologist Phil 1.2692 0.04734 130 101 23 6
1844 You are right, Gilmok. The new manager IS a monster! 1.2692 0.04858 130 102 21 7
1845 Fine, eat the intern, but he’s on our health plan. Don’t come crying to me when premiums go up. 1.2692 0.04606 130 100 25 5
1846 post climate change oil company board meeting 1.2692 0.05333 104 81 18 5
1847 Any other comments on Alan’s nightmare forecasts? 1.2692 0.04606 130 100 25 5
1848 He's the new diversity manager. 1.2692 0.04475 130 99 27 4
1849 Jonathan here will take over for me on nights when I'm out going bump. 1.2692 0.04979 130 103 19 8
1850 Hank, here, is our minority hire. 1.2692 0.04475 130 99 27 4
1851 Thank you Gryx, for that excellent report on the West Wing. 1.2692 0.04858 130 102 21 7
1852 Due to inappropriate workplace probing, Carl is here to conduct a full-day sensitivity workshop. 1.2692 0.04475 130 99 27 4
1853 He’s a Corporate Tax Attorney 1.2692 0.04858 130 102 21 7
1854 Everyone, meet Brian. He's taking over Human Resources. 1.2692 0.04475 130 99 27 4
1855 Finally, a board room with some diversity. 1.2687 0.04515 134 103 26 5
1856 Actually, we're all diversity hires. 1.2687 0.04389 134 102 28 4
1857 Everyone, meet our new Diversity Officer, Bob. 1.2687 0.04757 134 105 22 7
1858 Now Hal is going to show us how we can not just wear the suit, but really rock it. 1.2687 0.04637 134 104 24 6
1859 Let’s move along to our perennially awkward topic, the Christmas party menu. 1.2685 0.05675 108 87 13 8
1860 I'm sorry sir. You don't meet the minimum height for this meeting. 1.2685 0.05361 108 85 17 6
1861 They wanted biodiversity and now they have biodiversity. 1.2683 0.05501 82 62 18 2
1862 Our new lawyer puts you all to shame. 1.2672 0.04702 131 102 23 6
1863 Hello class let me introduce you to our newest monster. And get this, he's a human. 1.2672 0.04825 131 103 21 7
1864 Due to recent shifting in our political landscape,President Trump had to ditch you. 1.2667 0.05624 105 84 14 7
1865 Before we begin, I’ll take your lunch orders. Are there any vegetarians, Celiacs, or Apex-Predators with us today? 1.2667 0.05653 90 70 16 4
1866 Is anyone else creeped out by the new accountant? 1.2656 0.04503 128 98 26 4
1867 Our goal this year is to eat the competition for lunch! 1.2656 0.04638 128 99 24 5
1868 Please welcome our newest member, Martin Shkreli. 1.2656 0.05141 128 103 16 9
1869 I can't believe I have to say this again, but the front parking lot is for monster trucks only. 1.2647 0.05383 102 80 17 5
1870 Let's all welcome Jerry to the book club 1.2640 0.04564 125 96 25 4
1871 Who let this guy into the cabinet meeting? 1.2640 0.04420 125 95 27 3
1872 Kids, before you go out, keep in mind, Halloween is sometimes scary. Just remember, people are NOT real, o.k.?! ...there’s a human behind me isn’t there? 1.2640 0.04970 125 99 19 7
1873 Brian's expertise is to scare kids with real estate bubble burst and financial recessions. 1.2640 0.04839 125 98 21 6
1874 I know he's not much to look at. But Bob has a knack for putting people at ease. 1.2640 0.04703 125 97 23 5
1875 I know he looks odd, but one of our priorities is to add diversity to the staff. 1.2640 0.04564 125 96 25 4
1876 Meet Bernie Shimmelman, a partner in the company’s law firm. And you think we’re monsters. 1.2640 0.05098 125 100 17 8
1877 when the teacher interrupts the conversation 1.2640 0.04564 125 96 25 4
1878 Casual Friday" got scrapped for 'True Inner Self Monday" - check your memos and lose the skinsuit 1.2640 0.04839 125 98 21 6
1879 They say my management style is a little cold blooded. 1.2640 0.04564 125 101 18 6
1880 I suggest we recommend Howard here to be head of Trump's Space Force. 1.2640 0.04703 125 97 23 5
1881 You may be the odd man out on this one 1.2640 0.04564 125 96 25 4
1882 As part of our Diversity initiative I'm inviting a human to join the Board. 1.2640 0.04970 125 99 19 7
1883 We've invited a very special guest for supper tonight. 1.2640 0.04839 125 98 21 6
1884 This is Bill, he's our new Director of Diversity​ and Inclusion. 1.2640 0.04839 125 98 21 6
1885 Yes, this is a dream! Now sit down and shut up. 1.2640 0.04839 125 98 21 6
1886 We all need to be more broad minded now. He's not nearly as bad as he looks. 1.2640 0.04272 125 94 29 2
1887 Ernie, here, has a new slant on evolution. 1.2640 0.04420 125 95 27 3
1888 Everybody be quiet! Here comes the weird guy! 1.2640 0.04564 125 96 25 4
1889 Look who came to the Board Meeting as an executive! 1.2640 0.04564 125 96 25 4
1890 He may not look it but trust me, Harold's the biggest monster here. 1.2640 0.04420 125 98 23 4
1891 He's our new head of HR and I'm telling you, he's a monster. 1.2640 0.04564 125 96 25 4
1892 Rodney is here from the Census - he's confused which box to check. 1.2640 0.04703 125 97 23 5
1893 Just give it a chance. 1.2640 0.04420 125 95 27 3
1894 We have a special guest to talk of his personal experience in overcoming alienation 1.2640 0.04564 125 96 25 4
1895 What's this one supposed to be? 1.2640 0.04564 125 96 25 4
1896 He’s uglier than a dog! 1.2640 0.04970 125 98 19 7
1897 Let's pick this up after lunch. 1.2640 0.04564 125 96 25 4
1898 Who let that spoon in? 1.2640 0.04839 125 98 21 6
1899 Let's give Stu, our new Ad Manager, a big FaceBook welcome! 1.2640 0.04703 125 97 23 5
1900 It’ll be tough to reach a consensus. 1.2640 0.04420 125 98 23 4
1901 Guess who missed the memo about casual Fridays... 1.2640 0.04564 125 96 25 4
1902 Ah, I see that lunch has arrived 1.2640 0.04839 125 98 21 6
1903 Since this is about inclusivity, how many of you are female? 1.2640 0.04420 125 95 27 3
1904 Before we start our haunted house orientation, did everyone complete their I-9 forms? 1.2640 0.04272 125 94 29 2
1905 Maybe just weird enough to become a new advertising icon. 1.2640 0.04703 125 97 23 5
1906 Look, I know we have some differences but... 1.2640 0.04839 125 98 21 6
1907 This is Dave, he doesn't clap during the Friends theme song 1.2640 0.04703 125 97 23 5
1908 Great, then it's settled. Only blurry, terrible photos of us. 1.2640 0.04564 125 96 25 4
1909 Check out this mutant they sent to serve us! 1.2640 0.04703 125 97 23 5
1910 Might I suggest a rare psilocybe azurescens '15 for dessert? 1.2640 0.05223 125 101 15 9
1911 We need the diversity, and in a pinch we can eat him. 1.2640 0.04839 125 98 21 6
1912 You folks should know that the beauty pageant doesn't start until next Saturday 1.2640 0.04703 125 97 23 5
1913 Ah, here’s the diversity coach now. 1.2640 0.04420 125 95 27 3
1914 Bob proposes that we promote more diversity in our workplace. 1.2640 0.04564 125 96 25 4
1915 Look what I brought for dinner. 1.2640 0.04839 125 98 21 6
1916 all In favor of this defenseless, toothless, clawless, furless species to take care of our planet say aye! 1.2640 0.05098 125 100 17 8
1917 Yes, climate change can be confusing... just look at Newt and explain how he got here. 1.2640 0.04420 125 95 27 3
1918 We’ve never had a lookalike contest—what a great idea! 1.2640 0.04970 125 99 19 7
1919 Hey, it just a matter of eight degrees of separation. 1.2640 0.04703 125 97 23 5
1920 Members of the jury ;Guilty or not guilty? I'll flip the coin. 1.2640 0.04420 125 95 27 3
1921 Let me begin by promising you all that this is not going to be another beauty contest. 1.2640 0.04564 125 96 25 4
1922 There There's always someone who didn't get the memo --- it said "casual dress" 1.2640 0.04420 125 95 27 3
1923 Why do you have to take the minutes? Opposable thumbs. Duh. 1.2640 0.05098 125 100 17 8
1924 I think you all know Bernie from Human Resources. 1.2640 0.05098 125 100 17 8
1925 Which of you weren’t evoked?” 1.2640 0.04839 125 98 21 6
1926 Climate change is the perfect gift for all of us, well maybe not the guy on my left 1.2640 0.05098 125 100 17 8
1927 This is Norman from Nonhuman Resources. 1.2640 0.04839 125 98 21 6
1928 I'm putting the band back together. 1.2640 0.04564 125 96 25 4
1929 We'll start with the usual. 1.2640 0.04564 125 96 25 4
1930 I'd like to introduce lunch. 1.2640 0.04420 125 95 27 3
1931 Please give a warm welcome to our new Chief Uniformity Officer! 1.2640 0.04839 125 98 21 6
1932 Shall we skip straight to dessert, then? 1.2640 0.04839 125 98 21 6
1933 Typical of HR to send a human to teach us about diversity and inclusion 1.2640 0.04272 125 94 29 2
1934 Gentlemen, I suggest we break for lunch. 1.2640 0.04420 125 95 27 3
1935 This is Roger, he's the new intern 1.2640 0.04564 125 96 25 4
1936 Bob, your Halloween costume would scare anyone 1.2636 0.04473 129 99 26 4
1937 Our new board member isn't a monster, but he can be very hurtful." 1.2636 0.04607 129 100 24 5
1938 I would like to introduce Morty; he is terrible on the inside. 1.2636 0.04736 129 101 22 6
1939 His last job was CEO of WeWork 1.2636 0.04985 129 103 18 8
1940 Earth is withdrawing from the United Federation of Planets. 1.2636 0.04607 129 100 24 5
1941 I see the representative from Earth is here. 1.2636 0.04473 129 99 26 4
1942 The secret to success is diversification 1.2636 0.04607 129 100 24 5
1943 Didn't you get the memo ? It's casual Friday ! 1.2636 0.04336 129 98 28 3
1944 pay no attention to the elephant in the room! 1.2636 0.04985 129 103 18 8
1945 He wants to sell us artificial skins. He calls them 'clothes.' 1.2636 0.04607 129 100 24 5
1946 I'll entertain a motion to seat the new species at the table. 1.2636 0.04736 129 101 22 6
1947 Who invited the weird-looking guy? 1.2636 0.04194 129 97 30 2
1948 Remember that blue dwarf planet in sector f478? 1.2636 0.04336 129 98 28 3
1949 This is NOT a lunch break! 1.2636 0.04336 129 98 28 3
1950 I ordered in for lunch. 1.2636 0.04194 129 97 29 2
1951 Yeah, he's a monster just like us! You ever heard of the #MeToo movement? 1.2636 0.04862 129 102 20 7
1952 And here's Max, all grown up and ready to join the firm. 1.2636 0.04607 129 100 24 5
1953 Jack has joined us as a human resources manager. 1.2636 0.04336 129 101 24 4
1954 The new guy must be living on another planet. Who wears a suit on casual Friday? 1.2636 0.04736 129 101 22 6
1955 Everybody thought that Tim was a little overdressed 1.2636 0.04736 129 101 22 6
1956 George is here today to discuss our action against the Suess estate 1.2636 0.04985 129 103 18 8
1957 Everyone, this is George, the new emissary from earth. 1.2636 0.04862 129 102 20 7
1958 This is Clyde from Human Resources. 1.2636 0.04194 129 97 30 2
1959 Relax ladies, Mr. Bryznick is already spoken for. 1.2636 0.04607 129 100 24 5
1960 Yes, we come from vastly different regions of the galaxy but we all hate millennials. 1.2636 0.04736 129 101 22 6
1961 Folks, this is John, our Diversity Officer 1.2636 0.04194 129 97 30 2
1962 Any thoughts on how to avoid impeachment? 1.2636 0.04736 129 101 22 6
1963 You’ve been chosen to provide some diversity. 1.2636 0.04336 129 98 28 3
1964 Ladies and gentlemen, meet Norman, our new Director of Diversity 1.2636 0.04473 129 99 26 4
1965 Everyone, Carlo with Amicus Consulting is here to coach us toward a more diverse, inclusive culture. 1.2636 0.04607 129 100 24 5
1966 Why wait for coffee? Let's eat him now! 1.2636 0.04862 129 102 20 7
1967 Zuglak doesn't seem to know that Halloween is over. 1.2636 0.04736 129 104 18 7
1968 Welcome to the Amphibian Support Group. Anyone need water before we begin? 1.2636 0.05105 129 104 16 9
1969 Welcome to the 1st Jurassic & Extraterrestrial Clone orientation 1.2636 0.04194 129 97 30 2
1970 Our board needs diversity to conquer new markets. This is John, he’s human. 1.2636 0.04736 129 101 22 6
1971 He's here from Adorable Adoptions, Inc. 1.2636 0.04473 129 99 26 4
1972 Timmy’s nightmares: I want fresh ideas, and I want ‘em quick. 1.2636 0.04607 129 100 24 5
1973 You weren't here. So we chose your planet to be destroyed next. We sent the Trump monster that no one else wants. He's not the sharpest tool in the shed, but we know his heart's in it. He'll get it done eventually. 1.2621 0.05512 103 82 15 6
1974 Before we order, does anyone have any food allergies? 1.2621 0.05337 103 81 17 5
1975 Alright. All those in favor say "Orragunthaaa" 1.2621 0.05337 103 81 17 5
1976 We’ll all have Lattes. 1.2621 0.05155 103 80 19 4
1977 Ok I get it. He is too weird to stay with us 1.2619 0.04533 126 97 25 4
1978 Someone forgot to tell Pete that it's Casual Friday. 1.2619 0.04805 126 99 21 6
1979 If you can get past the looks, Smith is quite talented. 1.2619 0.04533 126 97 25 4
1980 Dino has invited Mr. Addams for dinner. 1.2619 0.05186 126 101 15 9
1981 Everyone, this is Jake. He loaded the toilet paper the wrong way. 1.2619 0.04671 126 98 23 5
1982 Who do you think you are? 1.2619 0.04671 126 98 23 5
1983 I urge you all to weigh in on our latest EEO allegation. 1.2619 0.04390 126 96 27 3
1984 Today for lunch we are having a buffet. Please meet Mr. Buffet. 1.2602 0.05011 123 98 18 7
1985 How did he get past security? 1.2602 0.04447 123 94 26 3
1986 Okay, so we've done our own countries... Now Let's Make Earth Great Again! 1.2602 0.05142 123 99 16 8
1987 They're called 'normies'. 1.2602 0.04594 123 95 24 4
1988 Ah, dinner time. Who ordered the Happy Meal?" 1.2602 0.05142 123 99 16 8
1989 Let's give a warm welcome to Jerry, our Halloween costume judge. 1.2602 0.04294 123 93 28 2
1990 So, who’s the odd man out? 1.2602 0.04594 123 97 21 5
1991 Dinner is served. 1.2602 0.04737 123 96 22 5
1992 Keep an open mind. Our boardroom needs some diversity. 1.2602 0.04876 123 97 20 6
1993 All those in favor of Bob being lunch, raise your appendage. 1.2602 0.04876 123 97 20 6
1994 Our guest speaker is here to give us some corporate tips on how to be a soulless monster on the inside. 1.2602 0.04737 123 96 22 5
1995 Please welcome the new member of the diversity committee. 1.2602 0.04594 123 95 24 4
1996 It's what's inside that counts. 1.2602 0.04294 123 93 28 2
1997 Pronouns, please. 1.2602 0.05011 123 98 18 7
1998 Ughh... who's gonna tell the new guy we're a nudist company? 1.2602 0.04737 123 96 22 5
1999 I'd like you all to meet our new 'diversity' hire. 1.2602 0.04876 123 97 20 6
2000 As part of our new diversity hiring program, I'd like to welcome Bob to the team! 1.2602 0.04294 123 96 24 3
2001 Great more mansplaining ! 1.2602 0.04876 123 97 20 6
2002 I'd like to introduce our new spokesperson" 1.2602 0.04594 123 95 24 4
2003 It's OK to strongly disagree with the human, but eating him is against the rules. 1.2602 0.05270 123 100 14 9
2004 The polls show I lead Trump by double digits! 1.2602 0.04876 123 97 20 6
2005 For diversity’s sake. 1.2602 0.04447 123 94 26 3
2006 I'd like to introduce our new intern, and please, no jokes about his looks. 1.2602 0.04594 123 95 24 4
2007 Anyone else think that guy's vacant stare is kinda creepy? 1.2602 0.04594 123 95 24 4
2008 He will be the face of our new campaign. 1.2602 0.04594 123 95 24 4
2009 Say hello to our new diversity hire! 1.2602 0.04876 123 97 20 6
2010 Who brought in Dick from Finance? I can't digest him. 1.2602 0.05142 123 99 16 8
2011 Gentlemen, this is Jenkins - lets all try to make him feel at home. 1.2602 0.04876 123 97 20 6
2012 Next topic: Extinction 1.2602 0.04876 123 97 20 6
2013 Welcome to Trump's Huuuuge New Swamp! 1.2602 0.05142 123 99 16 8
2014 It's agreed! No more Mr. Nice Guy! Tomorrow, we're breaking out of this zoo! 1.2602 0.04876 123 97 20 6
2015 You know, sometimes this "diversity" policy can go too far! 1.2602 0.04294 123 93 28 2
2016 Remember folks, we welcome diversity here! 1.2602 0.04594 123 95 24 4
2017 Hi, and welcome to Animal’s Anonymous. 1.2602 0.04876 123 97 20 6
2018 Are we really ready to invoke the 25th amendment? 1.2602 0.04737 123 96 22 5
2019 Welcome to our newest salesman. I know, he's hideous but his species is a niche market we're trying to develop and if he doesn't work out I hear they are delicious. 1.2602 0.04737 123 96 22 5
2020 Who invited him? 1.2602 0.04447 123 94 26 3
2021 Straight white guy, on behalf of the monster’s hall of fame, welcome. 1.2602 0.04876 123 97 20 6
2022 This is Henry, our new intern from, uh, was it Earth, Henry? 1.2602 0.04737 123 96 22 5
2023 When I said equal employment opportunity, I meant humans also. 1.2602 0.04294 123 93 28 2
2024 Please don't laugh. Everyone is welcome here. 1.2602 0.04447 123 94 26 3
2025 Oh no, am I thousand of years early? 1.2602 0.04876 123 97 20 6
2026 I’m glad to see we value diversity at this company. 1.2602 0.04294 123 93 28 2
2027 Under new galactic regulations, we have to have at least one male on our board, everybody say hi to Adam 1.2602 0.04594 123 95 24 4
2028 Tried and true, this "look" is planetary! 1.2602 0.04876 123 97 20 6
2029 I’d like to introduce our newest member, Larry, from Earth. He’s going to explain Halloween to us. 1.2602 0.04594 123 95 24 4
2030 The first item on today's agenda is the need for diversification. 1.2602 0.04737 123 96 22 5
2031 No, it's not lunch, it's the new head of Human Resources. 1.2602 0.04447 123 94 26 3
2032 Isn't human face a good costume? 1.2602 0.05011 123 98 18 7
2033 And this is E.F. Hutton! 1.2602 0.04594 123 95 24 4
2034 Mark has a plan to replace Obamacare. 1.2602 0.04737 123 96 22 5
2035 He creeps me out too but H.R. says we have no choice. 1.2602 0.04737 123 96 22 5
2036 So, it's unanimous, if he gets the lobster claw prosthetics by the end of the month and he's hired. 1.2602 0.04876 123 97 20 6
2037 Keep your mouth shut, he's flammable. 1.2602 0.04876 123 97 20 6
2038 Look at those vacuous eyes, the unsettling smile... Dave's grotesque mug is the gold standard we strive for at this corporation. Take notes. 1.2602 0.05270 123 100 14 9
2039 As they say , there's the human in the room. 1.2602 0.04594 123 95 24 4
2040 Ménage à sept. 1.2602 0.04737 123 96 22 5
2041 This is Ted, our new CPA. Oh wait, no, he's our lunch. 1.2602 0.04447 123 94 26 3
2042 Although not exactly one of us he is a descendant of Hieronymus Bosch. 1.2602 0.04447 123 94 26 3
2043 Can one of you hide under my ex-wife's bed tonight? 1.2602 0.04737 123 96 22 5
2044 Who's the nerd with the tie? 1.2602 0.04447 123 94 26 3
2045 I thought we should have a board member who isn’t part of ”The Base”. 1.2602 0.04737 123 96 22 5
2046 He claims we still haven't met our diversity goals. 1.2602 0.04594 123 95 24 4
2047 Let's all welcome our special guest, Dinner. 1.2602 0.04594 123 95 24 4
2048 This is all that’s left of my amazing, huge cabinet? 1.2602 0.04594 123 95 24 4
2049 So we agree: Trump's our swamp's leader, right or wrong! 1.2602 0.04876 123 97 20 6
2050 Once again, we’ve lost track of Bigfoot. 1.2602 0.04737 123 96 22 5
2051 Shall we break for lunch? 1.2602 0.04876 123 97 20 6
2052 This is Steve. He'll be working with us on a visitors visa. 1.2602 0.04594 123 95 24 4
2053 I think we’ve taken casual Friday as far as we can 1.2602 0.04737 123 96 22 5
2054 Whats with the funny looking guy in the costume? 1.2602 0.05011 123 98 18 7
2055 Oh sorry. Wrong room. 1.2602 0.04737 123 96 22 5
2056 I met Joe at the bar during that 'Star Wars' scene. 1.2602 0.04594 123 95 24 4
2057 So, we are all agreed. We will eat Ted here, for lunch. 1.2602 0.04737 123 96 22 5
2058 Who let the Democrat in? 1.2602 0.04737 123 96 22 5
2059 As he walked in to the meeting, Bill suddenly realized that his coworkers were a bunch of monsters. 1.2602 0.05011 123 98 18 7
2060 . . . and he'll be with us 'til lunch. And that thing is called a suit. Kinda like peeling a banana, though . . . 1.2602 0.04876 123 97 20 6
2061 Let's come up with a name for our new shoe company. 1.2602 0.04737 123 98 19 6
2062 Meet Steve. He is our new image consultant for the coming election. 1.2602 0.04594 123 95 24 4
2063 It looks like Morris here is the only one who cares to wear a costume for Halloween. 1.2602 0.04737 123 96 22 5
2064 May I introduce a new Member , he us called a Human 1.2602 0.04136 123 92 30 1
2065 I understand, but HR is directing us to focus on diversity. 1.2602 0.04294 123 93 28 2
2066 Meet our new head of Diversity. 1.2602 0.04737 123 96 22 5
2067 We said business casual, Representative Earth 1.2602 0.04447 123 94 26 3
2068 Thank you leaders of the free world for coming together today. 1.2602 0.04737 123 96 22 5
2069 We agreed business casual, Herb. 1.2602 0.04594 123 95 24 4
2070 Who wants to play odd man out? 1.2602 0.04447 123 94 26 3
2071 I would like to officially inaugurate 'Take Your Human to Work' Day. 1.2602 0.04447 123 94 26 3
2072 With our new partner here coming on board, we'll be changing the firm's name to Smith, McCloud, Schaeffer, Klein and X-Gezornenplat 17, LLC. 1.2602 0.04876 123 97 20 6
2073 We needed someone more human. 1.2602 0.04294 123 93 28 2
2074 It's not because he's my stepson, I just think he deserves the promotion. 1.2602 0.04876 123 97 20 6
2075 I know Joe here would be an odd choice for membership on the board but maybe it’s time to diversify. 1.2602 0.04447 123 94 26 3
2076 Dan from Accounting is here to add a white male POV. 1.2602 0.04737 123 96 22 5
2077 I thought about going vegan, but I just love being a humanitarian. 1.2600 0.05617 100 80 14 6
2078 He isn’t a very physical specimen, but on his planet money seems to be very important. 1.2600 0.05435 100 79 16 5
2079 Who invited the nerd? 1.2588 0.05333 85 65 18 2
2080 The Eyes have it. 1.2581 0.05105 124 100 16 8
2081 So it's settled. A giant meteorite for the next mass extinction. 1.2581 0.04974 124 99 18 7
2082 You're right--it's going to be difficult reducing our differences. 1.2581 0.04704 124 97 22 5
2083 He says Donald will provide the funds if we can dig up some dirt on Hunter Biden. 1.2581 0.04974 124 99 18 7
2084 And now Jim will explain why his species should be spared. 1.2581 0.04562 124 96 24 4
2085 The motion on the table is to come out the closet for once and for all 1.2581 0.04841 124 98 20 6
2086 Well we finally have a diverse Board 1.2581 0.04562 124 96 24 4
2087 This is Ted, he's an investment banker. Yes, they exist. 1.2574 0.05006 101 78 20 3
2088 Everyone, I'd like to introduce Norm. 1.2574 0.05200 101 79 18 4
2089 If televangelism isn't monstrous, I don't know what is. 1.2574 0.05387 101 80 16 5
2090 Today we introduce full diversity. 1.2574 0.05387 101 80 16 5
2091 Diversity hire. 1.2574 0.05387 101 80 16 5
2092 I’m the team, Mulvaney. This is just the team in my head. 1.2574 0.05567 101 81 14 6
2093 Bob is here to talk with us about how wearing a tie will improve our foreign affairs initiative. 1.2574 0.05387 101 80 16 5
2094 People for the Ethical Treatment of Humans” have been harassing us again. 1.2574 0.05387 101 80 16 5
2095 The temp agency called him a magical candidate. 1.2574 0.05200 101 79 18 4
2096 So how high are we going to build the wall? 1.2574 0.05387 101 80 16 5
2097 Time for lunch break. The Uber Eats delivery came." 1.2574 0.05567 101 81 14 6
2098 Shut up egghead. 1.2574 0.05387 101 80 16 5
2099 I just want you to know that I'm getting help and I'm OK with you calling me Mr. Ugly. 1.2574 0.05743 101 82 12 7
2100 And, here's our first volunteer from our ‘How to Serve Man’ marketing campaign. 1.2574 0.05743 101 82 12 7
2101 I invited him! We need new blood! 1.2574 0.05387 101 80 16 5
2102 Do not worry, he comes in peas. 1.2574 0.05387 101 80 16 5
2103 What say we hit the beach in Cancun now that Halloween is over? 1.2574 0.05387 101 80 16 5
2104 Thank you all for your time today. This session is about image awareness. 1.2574 0.05200 101 79 18 4
2105 I’ll have a George Lucas with a twist! 1.2574 0.05743 101 82 12 7
2106 This committee is convened 1.2574 0.05567 101 81 14 6
2107 Please welcome the caucasoid. 1.2574 0.05006 101 78 20 3
2108 If you’re looking for the cultural sensitivity training, you’re in the right place. 1.2574 0.05200 101 79 18 4
2109 Wow! Your costumes are out of this world. 1.2574 0.05006 101 78 20 3
2110 I totally disagree. I think we should run another story about conspiracy theories. 1.2574 0.05200 101 79 18 4
2111 I know it seems a bit unorthodox, but wait until he starts talking about taxes. 1.2574 0.05567 101 81 14 6
2112 Before we decide who's next for dinner I'd like you to meet my new intern. 1.2574 0.04484 101 81 15 4
2113 Just treat him like you would any normal employee. 1.2574 0.05387 101 80 16 5
2114 I’d like to introduce our new Human Resources VP. 1.2574 0.05006 101 78 20 3
2115 This is Fred with our new hiring policies. Anyone hungry? 1.2574 0.04804 101 77 22 2
2116 Our new recruit. Wait till his mustache grows back. 1.2574 0.05200 101 79 18 4
2117 So - who has a unique idea for what to do? 1.2574 0.05200 101 79 18 4
2118 Welcome our newest member to the Extinct Species Board of Directors. 1.2574 0.05006 101 80 17 4
2119 Everybody this is Teds first day. Lets see what he has to vomit. 1.2574 0.05200 101 79 18 4
2120 Annual reviews are never fun. Unfortunately, this year management has decided to eat you. 1.2574 0.05567 101 81 14 6
2121 Hey, everyone. Meet Brandon, our new diversity hire. 1.2574 0.04804 101 77 22 2
2122 Welcome the new monster under the bed -the mattress salesman! 1.2574 0.05912 101 83 10 8
2123 Our guest will help us to overcome our fears that humans find us disgusting, creepy and unlovable. 1.2574 0.05567 101 81 14 6
2124 Dan, for the last time, Halloween is over already. 1.2574 0.05567 101 81 14 6
2125 Ah, here is our dinner now. 1.2574 0.05006 101 78 20 3
2126 Who is the guy in the funny suit? 1.2574 0.05387 101 80 16 5
2127 And we all know what happens when a player is eliminated in musical chairs? 1.2574 0.05743 101 82 12 7
2128 Everyone, please welcome our newest monster: crippling depression 1.2574 0.05743 101 82 12 7
2129 Okay, team, this is Bill from HR. He thinks we should also post jobs on Linkedin and Indeed. 1.2574 0.05006 101 78 20 3
2130 I see you've all dressed up as Mark from accounting. 1.2574 0.05200 101 79 18 4
2131 Come on Steve, it was business casual today. 1.2574 0.05567 101 81 14 6
2132 This is Jim. He's from Human Resources. 1.2574 0.05743 101 82 12 7
2133 Hey, you know the rules. If you're late bring worms and flies snacks. 1.2574 0.05387 101 80 16 5
2134 I know it looks disgusting, but it tastes delicious! 1.2574 0.05200 101 79 18 4
2135 Who forgot to tell him today is business casual? 1.2574 0.05006 101 78 20 3
2136 It's called a suit. 1.2574 0.05743 101 82 12 7
2137 Ahh, I see lunch has arrived! 1.2574 0.05387 101 80 16 5
2138 Oh good, someone finally beamed up dinner. 1.2574 0.05200 101 79 18 4
2139 It's OK,he's just my personal attorney. 1.2574 0.05200 101 79 18 4
2140 Okay. Can I laugh now? 1.2574 0.05200 101 79 18 4
2141 and what are you supposed to be, Carl? 1.2574 0.05387 101 80 16 5
2142 This is not how I imagined they would look naked... 1.2574 0.05567 101 81 14 6
2143 Well I’m glad at least one person decided to dress up for Halloween. 1.2574 0.05387 101 80 16 5
2144 He says he’s quitting because he thinks he doesn’t fit in 1.2574 0.05567 101 81 14 6
2145 Okay, the odd one's out! 1.2574 0.05200 101 79 18 4
2146 Darwin here feels there's been a bit of a mix up. 1.2574 0.05387 101 80 16 5
2147 Meet our new Director of Diversity. 1.2574 0.05743 101 81 12 7
2148 The next agenda item is branding. 1.2574 0.05387 101 80 16 5
2149 He may not look like he’ll fit in, but I’ve been assured that there’s a beast in him. 1.2574 0.05743 101 82 12 7
2150 Anyone who needs to phone home can use my office 1.2574 0.05743 101 82 12 7
2151 Let me introduce you to Max. 1.2574 0.05387 101 80 16 5
2152 Martin is our replacement attorney. You’re fired if you eat him. 1.2574 0.05200 101 79 18 4
2153 Our climate change strategy was a success. Steven, methane all around! 1.2574 0.05200 101 79 18 4
2154 I see we're going to start from scratch at our first annual intreglacial peace treaty. 1.2574 0.05387 101 80 16 5
2155 Can you tell me if the souls of the damned are gluten-free? 1.2574 0.05200 101 79 18 4
2156 And now the report on what weird things happen after wearing shoes. 1.2574 0.05567 101 81 14 6
2157 Rumors of a company scale-down had tongues wagging. 1.2574 0.05387 101 80 16 5
2158 Go easy on him. He's obviously new here. 1.2574 0.05006 101 78 20 3
2159 And to the left of me, here today to add much-needed levity, is my nephew, aspiring standup comedian Stanley Silberman. 1.2574 0.05567 101 81 14 6
2160 Please welcome Michael to his new role as our snack. 1.2574 0.05387 101 80 16 5
2161 Not all humans are alike! Trust me, this kind is actually a monster. 1.2574 0.05743 101 82 12 7
2162 This is Tom. Tom is our new Steve. 1.2562 0.05052 121 97 17 7
2163 So guys, apparently "Monsters, Inc." is taken. 1.2562 0.04625 121 94 23 4
2164 Okay, everybody! Get out your voting pads! It's time again to play "Dinner or Guest?" 1.2562 0.04317 121 92 27 2
2165 Ah, just in time for lunch. 1.2562 0.05186 121 98 15 8
2166 Guys, Ikzorp here, is dressed as a CPA. 1.2562 0.04474 121 93 25 3
2167 I know what you're all thinking but this board has to diversify. 1.2562 0.04625 121 94 23 4
2168 Let's give Stan our full attention, then we'll break for...lunch. 1.2562 0.04771 121 95 21 5
2169 He is one of those 23 and Me surprises you've read so much about. Meet our new Excutive Vice President, Todd. 1.2562 0.05052 121 97 17 7
2170 I’d like to introduce Bill, the new head of our diversity hiring program. 1.2562 0.04625 121 94 23 4
2171 Good costume Kraken, but you’re a day early... we’re not celebrating Halloween until TOMORROW! 1.2562 0.05052 121 97 17 7
2172 That ‘Take me to your leader’ stuff is so old. I said ‘Take me to a casino.’ 1.2562 0.05052 121 97 17 7
2173 Alien Union members, we should never have let the UK join in the first place. 1.2562 0.04771 121 95 21 5
2174 We have voted you off the island 1.2562 0.04771 121 95 21 5
2175 I would argue that being the creator of the song "Baby Shark" makes him more than qualified. 1.2562 0.04771 121 95 21 5
2176 Please welcome Dave. He merges without signaling. 1.2562 0.04154 121 93 26 2
2177 Herbert claims to have a lizard brain. 1.2562 0.04771 121 95 21 5
2178 I'll admit he may look ugly, but his resume is beautiful. 1.2562 0.04474 121 93 25 3
2179 Oh, I didn't get the memo we weren't doing costumes this year 1.2562 0.04474 121 93 25 3
2180 Yet Only One was a true "Internet Troll" 1.2562 0.04914 121 96 19 6
2181 This is a tasty new species we are now advertising 1.2562 0.04625 121 94 23 4
2182 Where’s the elephant in this room? 1.2562 0.04625 121 94 23 4
2183 So who shall be the devil's advocate? 1.2562 0.04771 121 95 21 5
2184 This is Bob, a white heterosexual male who hasn’t sexually assaulted anyone. This makes him as rare as each of us! 1.2562 0.04771 121 95 21 5
2185 They weren't joking about the US Space Force. 1.2562 0.04474 121 93 25 3
2186 And I stress again that our new hire diversity policy recommends conversation over consumption. 1.2562 0.05318 121 99 13 9
2187 It was at this exact moment that Bob knew he had found his people. 1.2562 0.04625 121 94 23 4
2188 The public already thinks we've infested EVERY candidate. 1.2562 0.04771 121 95 21 5
2189 Here is the latest addition to our Halloween costumes line - human suit. 1.2562 0.04771 121 95 21 5
2190 Welcome, Tom! We think you’ll bring a much-needed human element to this board’s decisions. 1.2562 0.04317 121 92 27 2
2191 This is Bob, he's a sales monster. 1.2562 0.04625 121 94 23 4
2192 Bill understands social media. 1.2562 0.04154 121 91 29 1
2193 Welcome fellow cabinet members. The President will join us shortly. 1.2562 0.04771 121 95 21 5
2194 I think we need to discuss the elephant in the room. 1.2562 0.04625 121 94 23 4
2195 What did I say about using coasters? 1.2562 0.04914 121 96 19 6
2196 We need to think outside Pandora's box. 1.2562 0.04771 121 95 21 5
2197 Please welcome John, our new head of sentient resources. 1.2562 0.04317 121 92 27 2
2198 Here's our new PR guy. He will be able to kill this "Drain the Swamp" mania. 1.2561 0.05706 82 64 15 3
2199 Listen up you animals. 1.2560 0.04670 125 98 22 5
2200 I know, I know. His tie is hideous. Try not to mention it though, okay? 1.2551 0.05089 98 76 19 3
2201 All in favor of making No-Pants Friday official say "Aye." 1.2549 0.05340 102 81 16 5
2202 We decided we needed a token homo erectus. 1.2541 0.04592 122 95 23 4
2203 Albert here has been an actor's agent for years and comes highly recommended by R2D2. 1.2541 0.05015 122 98 17 7
2204 It's time to address the 150-pound human in the room. 1.2526 0.05389 95 75 16 4
2205 Work has been scarce since Episode IV, so I think it's time we unionize. 1.2526 0.05593 95 76 14 5
2206 What Gus brings to The League of Monsters are puns and dad jokes. 1.2521 0.04806 119 94 20 5
2207 I want to thank you for helping me organize this meeting here today. And also the heads of the other Families. 1.2521 0.04656 119 93 22 4
2208 After the meeting, we'll have a snack." David McNair 1.2521 0.05094 119 96 16 7
2209 I suggest the tartare. 1.2521 0.04656 119 93 22 4
2210 We will get started as soon as the elephant leaves the room. 1.2521 0.04656 119 93 22 4
2211 I'd like to welcome our newest associate Mr. Mann....... 1.2521 0.04656 119 93 22 4
2212 Before her description of him changes, let's welcome Bob to the Karen's ex's society. 1.2521 0.04500 119 92 24 3
2213 And they're gluten-free and Non-GMO! 1.2521 0.04656 119 93 22 4
2214 We're being sued by George Lucas. 1.2521 0.04656 119 93 22 4
2215 Let me introduce Bob, our lunch. 1.2521 0.04656 119 93 22 4
2216 I'm providing lunch. 1.2521 0.04806 119 94 20 5
2217 I see being a nudist is alien to you. 1.2521 0.04806 119 94 20 5
2218 In an effort to increase our diversity, I would like to introduce our newest board member ... a straight white male. 1.2521 0.04339 119 93 23 3
2219 Everyone meet Tom. He’s horrifying on the inside. 1.2521 0.04806 119 94 20 5
2220 Joe here is going to teach us how to assume the form of human politicians. 1.2521 0.04952 119 95 18 6
2221 Bob is here to represent our minority shareholders. 1.2521 0.04656 119 93 22 4
2222 Please welcome Mike, our new Internet troll. 1.2521 0.05094 119 96 16 7
2223 This is John, our diversity hire. 1.2521 0.04500 119 92 24 3
2224 Please welcome Bob Whiteman, our diversity trainer. 1.2521 0.04656 119 93 22 4
2225 HR Nightmare: ...'Monstrosity' is our word, Kevin. 1.2521 0.04952 119 95 18 6
2226 As we've not been tearing them to pieces enough, I've invited a banker to join us. 1.2521 0.04806 119 94 20 5
2227 Stop making excuses, no pinsching! 1.2521 0.04339 119 91 26 2
2228 He’s our new diversity recruit. 1.2521 0.04656 119 93 22 4
2229 Everyone, this is the guy we're thinking of casting as "Han Solo". 1.2521 0.04806 119 94 20 5
2230 Please don't stare, he's very self-conscious. 1.2521 0.04339 119 91 26 2
2231 Next on Agenda: Community Gentrification 1.2521 0.04806 119 94 20 5
2232 Meet Norman. He has some wild and crazy ideas to add. 1.2521 0.04952 119 95 18 6
2233 Are you guys still figuring out the meaning of the end of Game of Thrones. 1.2521 0.04500 119 92 24 3
2234 Bill here is from Disney Pixar to talk to us about our company name. 1.2521 0.04656 119 93 22 4
2235 So, does he satisfy the diversity goal? 1.2521 0.04500 119 92 24 3
2236 Have you met George, our Republican strategist! 1.2521 0.04656 119 93 22 4
2237 Good morning everyone, I'd like to introduce Jeff, who's joining us as CFO. And please, for the sake of our fiscal year, let's try not to eat this one. 1.2521 0.04656 119 93 22 4
2238 Did we forget to tell Bob about casual Friday? 1.2521 0.04500 119 92 24 3
2239 Break for lunch? 1.2521 0.04806 119 94 20 5
2240 Listen, you're gonna have to bring your own chair to the meeting next time. 1.2521 0.04656 119 93 22 4
2241 Mr. Meyer is our newest diversity and inclusion employee. Let's hope he tastes better than the last one. 1.2521 0.04656 119 93 22 4
2242 You should have specified whose dream team you were assembling. 1.2521 0.04656 119 93 22 4
2243 This species has cloth covering most of its trunk and a striped thing around its neck? What evolutionary purpose might they serve? 1.2521 0.04806 119 94 20 5
2244 You all know Ted, our Chief Diversity Officer. 1.2521 0.04339 119 91 26 2
2245 All those in favor of letting Earth join the federation, say “Aye.” 1.2521 0.04656 119 93 22 4
2246 He became part of the family now that we are all Vegan. 1.2521 0.04952 119 95 18 6
2247 Bob here's come all the way from planet Earth to pitch us on ESG and what it can do for our bottom line 1.2521 0.04656 119 93 22 4
2248 Guys! Your attention please! I'm delighted to tell you it's dessert time! 1.2521 0.04952 119 95 18 6
2249 He is from Earth. Let’s not judge. 1.2521 0.04500 119 92 24 3
2250 Monster.com has decided to go a different direction with its new CEO. 1.2521 0.05094 119 96 16 7
2251 Stay away from the water cooler. Someone spiked it with LSD. 1.2521 0.04656 119 93 22 4
2252 Well, well! Look who the cat dragged in! 1.2521 0.04500 119 92 24 3
2253 C'mon, fellas. This is the diversity meeting after all. 1.2521 0.04500 119 92 24 3
2254 Creatures, meet our new VP of marketing Mr. Hal O. Ween. 1.2521 0.04339 119 91 26 2
2255 Am I the only one who dressed in costume? 1.2521 0.04952 119 95 18 6
2256 Kevin is here to help us think inside the box. 1.2521 0.04656 119 92 22 4
2257 Phil, we told you it was business casual. 1.2521 0.04656 119 93 22 4
2258 Enough pie-in-the-sky. Let's get down to earth. 1.2521 0.04806 119 94 20 5
2259 He's part of the company's new diversity hiring policy. He'll just be getting us our morning lattes. 1.2521 0.04952 119 95 18 6
2260 Barry, Barry, you trying time get us in a lawsuit? Humans are no different than anyone else. 1.2521 0.04806 119 94 20 5
2261 You’re creepy, Fred 1.2521 0.04952 119 95 18 6
2262 Henry here is our new hire... please refrain from eating him until after his 90 day probationary period 1.2521 0.04500 119 92 24 3
2263 The CPA says all of us are overdrawn, literally. 1.2521 0.04656 119 93 22 4
2264 I come in peace 1.2521 0.04806 119 94 20 5
2265 Malcolm here thinks we should have a costume party on Halloween to boost morale around the office. What do you say, are we in? 1.2521 0.04952 119 95 18 6
2266 The diversity and inclusiveness committee will be starting shortly 1.2521 0.04656 119 93 22 4
2267 "Alright, all those in favor of clothed bipeds as prey, please raise your paw." 1.2521 0.04500 119 92 24 3
2268 Did I misread the flyer? Repp ties only, right? 1.2521 0.04500 119 92 24 3
2269 I'd like to introduce the newest blood-curdling monster to our group. This is Andy, aka the Wolf of Wall Street. 1.2521 0.05094 119 96 16 7
2270 And now, let the wild Trumpus start! 1.2521 0.05094 119 96 16 7
2271 May I introduce you to Carlos. He knows all about being an alien on Earth. 1.2521 0.04952 119 95 18 6
2272 I’d like you all to welcome Todd, our new dinner...I mean intern. 1.2521 0.04806 119 94 20 5
2273 Today we want to welcome a new member of the the team who brings in new perspectives 1.2521 0.04500 119 92 24 3
2274 He may look different on the outside but he’s just like us on the inside 1.2521 0.04952 119 95 18 6
2275 Allow me to introduce Nick, our new diversity hire 1.2521 0.04339 119 91 26 2
2276 This is Ted, he will be leading the diversity initiative 1.2521 0.04656 119 93 22 4
2277 In a bit we'll be ordering lunch. I hope none of you are vegans. 1.2521 0.04806 119 94 20 5
2278 Who is the ugly strange dude? 1.2521 0.04656 119 93 22 4
2279 Oh hi Mark. 1.2521 0.03421 119 98 17 2
2280 Gentlemen, Todbot has a traffic update for us. 1.2521 0.04500 119 92 24 3
2281 And gluten free! 1.2521 0.04500 119 92 24 3
2282 Obviously George didn’t get the Halloween costume memo. 1.2521 0.04952 119 95 18 6
2283 Any ideas why that Noah guy didn't choose Us for his Ark?! 1.2521 0.04656 119 93 22 4
2284 I know that he is unusual, but I think he will fit in. 1.2521 0.04806 119 94 20 5
2285 Look fellas, he said the call was perfect! 1.2521 0.04656 119 93 22 4
2286 Look, it's a marketing crisis when some politicians are way more horrifying than we are. 1.2521 0.04952 119 95 18 6
2287 I thought it was just a movie. 1.2521 0.04952 119 95 18 6
2288 I know he looks like a super freak, but welcome our newest board member. We are committed to diversity. 1.2521 0.04500 119 92 24 3
2289 I don't feel like deli today. What say we just eat Bryan? 1.2521 0.04806 119 94 20 5
2290 No Xarglebog, Jonathan wasn’t a diversity hire. 1.2521 0.04656 119 93 22 4
2291 Please welcome Jeff to species bias training. 1.2521 0.04806 119 94 20 5
2292 You all remember Human. He's evolved a bit. 1.2521 0.04172 119 90 28 1
2293 You can put your human costumes back on, the president's cabinet meeting is adjoined. 1.2521 0.04806 119 94 20 5
2294 I see lunch has arrived so we’ll take a break. 1.2521 0.05094 119 96 16 7
2295 All in favor of agreeing with the EPA that out product does not do genetic raise your right hand, if you have one. 1.2521 0.05094 119 96 16 7
2296 With Gork here under cover at the IRS, we’ll pay less in taxes than Jeff Bezos! 1.2521 0.04656 119 93 22 4
2297 OK, so we have agreed: Things will be looking up. 1.2521 0.04500 119 92 24 3
2298 Say hello to my son-in-law. No biting. 1.2521 0.04952 119 95 18 6
2299 Apparently ‘business as usual’ is no more. 1.2521 0.04806 119 94 20 5
2300 Our attorney will fight to return dignity to ALL monsters! 1.2521 0.04806 119 94 20 5
2301 Time to break for lunch guys. Will one human be enough? 1.2521 0.04656 119 93 22 4
2302 Do we an agenda or a menu? 1.2521 0.04806 119 94 20 5
2303 We just find Monsters Inc. a little offensive. 1.2521 0.04806 119 94 20 5
2304 Well, let's just say he's the odd man out... 1.2521 0.04806 119 94 20 5
2305 I think Ted's hallucinating again. 1.2521 0.04656 119 93 22 4
2306 Just wait, you haven't heard his stance on vaccines yet. 1.2521 0.04656 119 93 22 4
2307 He wants to know if we have any dirt on Binden. 1.2521 0.04656 119 93 22 4
2308 Don't worry, you will blend in after we alienate you. 1.2521 0.05094 119 96 16 7
2309 He's today's lunch. 1.2521 0.04806 119 94 20 5
2310 The Alien Conference invite clearly said, "Birthday Suit Required"...not "Business Suit Attire." 1.2521 0.04806 119 94 20 5
2311 He wants us to be less exclusive. 1.2521 0.04656 119 93 22 4
2312 This year I’m thankful for nail files, without which we would have even more scratches in the table. 1.2521 0.04806 119 94 20 5
2313 I know he’s scary but he’s joining the board! 1.2521 0.04500 119 92 24 3
2314 Mission Accomplished! Our attorney here confirms the swamp has been fully drained. 1.2521 0.04500 119 92 24 3
2315 Corporate has been pushing us on affirmative action. Meet Bill. 1.2521 0.04500 119 92 24 3
2316 Who ordered the 'Monday Special ' on white? 1.2521 0.04656 119 93 22 4
2317 Roger here represents the new normal.... 1.2521 0.04339 119 91 26 2
2318 Since you asked: she/her/hers 1.2521 0.04500 119 92 24 3
2319 Here's our new minority Board member . 1.2521 0.04656 119 93 22 4
2320 I dare any of you to call him ‘normal’ to his face. 1.2521 0.04656 119 93 22 4
2321 Now that we finally have diversity on the board... 1.2521 0.04806 119 94 20 5
2322 Frederick here would like to join the club. What’s ya think? 1.2521 0.04806 119 94 20 5
2323 "Okay everybody lets just go about our business and no staring 1.2521 0.05094 119 96 16 7
2324 Say hello to Harold. I have hired him as part of our new diversity policy. 1.2521 0.04806 119 94 20 5
2325 Can we please stop calling him a diversity hire? 1.2521 0.04656 119 93 22 4
2326 A suit as a halloween costume - great idea! 1.2521 0.04806 119 94 20 5
2327 Welcome to the annual "Mythic Creatures" luncheon, it's my pleasure to introduce our newest member, Doug, who is a lawyer - and a good person. Welcome, Doug! 1.2521 0.04952 119 95 18 6
2328 This is Chip from marketing. He'll be lunch. 1.2521 0.04656 119 93 22 4
2329 Mr. Smith is here to observe our diversity training workshop. 1.2521 0.05232 119 97 14 8
2330 Meet Hal, from Human resources 1.2521 0.04656 119 93 22 4
2331 It's time we got real. 1.2521 0.04656 119 93 22 4
2332 Let's start with an economic report from the galaxy Centaurus A 1.2521 0.04656 119 93 22 4
2333 Today’s special includes filet of sweet maidens 1.2521 0.04500 119 92 24 3
2334 Here's our newest Halloween costume: Human. 1.2521 0.04806 119 94 20 5
2335 This is Bertram, our new head of Human Resources. 1.2521 0.04952 119 95 18 6
2336 Should our next topic be diversity? or lunch? 1.2521 0.04656 119 93 22 4
2337 Bob’s scary specialty is corporate litigation. 1.2521 0.04339 119 91 26 2
2338 Ignore the freak who just came in 1.2521 0.04806 119 94 20 5
2339 Glenn is our new head of HR, pardon the anachronism. 1.2521 0.04339 119 91 26 2
2340 Today we will hear from Dr.Bernanke on freakonomics. 1.2521 0.04500 119 92 24 3
2341 Get lost, Sapiens! We're talking Global you-know-what. 1.2521 0.05232 119 97 14 8
2342 I wants to reminds you once again of our new policy - Do not eats the IT guy! 1.2521 0.05232 119 97 14 8
2343 Thanks for coming. I love the diversity of this focus group! 1.2521 0.04952 119 95 18 6
2344 Please welcome our new scales manager. 1.2521 0.04656 119 93 22 4
2345 Easy folks! It's his first week and I forgot to tell him about "Be Yourself Fridays". 1.2521 0.05094 119 96 16 7
2346 Bill, here, is going to tell us how we can succeed as a team. 1.2521 0.04656 119 93 22 4
2347 Please welcome our new Director of Diversity. 1.2521 0.04500 119 92 24 3
2348 No, he says on his planet he's normal-looking. 1.2521 0.04500 119 92 24 3
2349 After presenting the annual report, Fred here will read his poem on the beauty of unlimited profit. 1.2521 0.04806 119 94 20 5
2350 Our diversity VP did a great job. Let's eat him. 1.2521 0.04656 119 93 22 4
2351 Hey guys, knock it off. Mick here wants to know how many of you will be going by Ark to Mar-a-Lago. 1.2521 0.04806 119 94 20 5
2352 And this is Jeremy, our terrestrial intern 1.2521 0.03997 119 89 30 0
2353 So we're not gonna build that wall after all. 1.2521 0.04806 119 94 20 5
2354 So this really weird creature came into the bar--you've got to see to believe! And by invitation, here he is! 1.2521 0.04656 119 93 22 4
2355 The Assimilation Department assures me things will be much easier if we stick to the white male skinsuit. 1.2521 0.04952 119 95 18 6
2356 I'm sorry that Bigfoot couldn't be here. 1.2500 0.04722 116 91 21 4
2357 We will break for lunch. This is Irwin, and he comes in pieces 1.2500 0.04879 116 92 19 5
2358 Everyone please welcome Gary, the newest member of the Republican National Committee. 1.2500 0.05320 116 95 13 8
2359 I think my resume speaks for itself. 1.2500 0.05339 96 76 16 4
2360 Mr.President, they are waiting for you 1.2500 0.04467 120 93 24 3
2361 I say we kill him and eat him here. All in favor? 1.2500 0.04561 116 90 23 3
2362 Should we order lunch, or should we just eat what's here? 1.2500 0.04467 120 92 24 3
2363 And before we commence with the new business, I’d like to introduce our new accountant, Mr. Bialystok... 1.2500 0.05541 96 77 14 5
2364 Great News, the Arc Park will fit you into its narrative. 1.2500 0.05320 116 95 13 8
2365 Who’s the goofy nerd in the suit? 1.2500 0.05923 96 79 10 7
2366 The topic for today is "what is reality?" 1.2500 0.05339 96 76 16 4
2367 Hello 1.2500 0.04722 116 91 21 4
2368 Everybody meet Brad, our lunch. 1.2500 0.04879 116 92 19 5
2369 Isn't this better? Meeting in a damp cave was a little overkill. 1.2500 0.04561 116 90 23 3
2370 'tell me about your greatest boss again' 1.2500 0.04561 116 90 23 3
2371 Oh, sorry Kevin, when you were hired, I completely forgot to mention the Casual Fridays dress code. 1.2500 0.04771 120 95 20 5
2372 And please stop referring to Henderson as our 'diversity' hire" 1.2500 0.04622 120 94 22 4
2373 As the administration's former acting deputy communications chief, he'll be able to take us to their leader. 1.2500 0.04722 116 91 21 4
2374 So,lust,gluttony,greed,sloth,wrath,envy,and pride were all here so who is he? 1.2500 0.05339 96 76 16 4
2375 Yes, he's a little odd, but he made the smart move to quit the Trump administration and join us! 1.2500 0.04561 116 90 23 3
2376 I guess no one told the new guy about casual Friday 1.2500 0.04915 120 96 18 6
2377 Paul is the new lead for our rebranding; he has shown promise on how to truly be a monster. 1.2500 0.04879 116 92 19 5
2378 In light of the recent allegations, Greg from HR is going to walk us through the do's and don'ts of hiding under beds. 1.2500 0.04394 116 89 25 2
2379 So, if everyone could go around the table and say your name and what animal kingdom you're from. 1.2500 0.04622 120 94 22 4
2380 And now Professor Lorenz will explain how chaos theory drives change in our company's DNA." 1.2500 0.05541 96 77 14 5
2381 He calls himself the Terminator. 1.2500 0.04394 116 89 25 2
2382 This is the new prototype to repopulate Earth since they self-destructed by re-electing trump in 2020 1.2500 0.04879 116 92 19 5
2383 Meet the latest employee from our diversity hiring program. 1.2500 0.04467 120 93 24 3
2384 Our rebranding guy. 1.2500 0.05735 96 78 12 6
2385 Apparently the chef is not allowed to serve live lobsters. 1.2500 0.04308 120 92 26 2
2386 Meet Fred, our new head if sales. He’s an animal! 1.2500 0.04394 116 89 25 2
2387 Shhh!! Here comes the new guy...what a freak! 1.2500 0.04388 120 95 21 4
2388 Dave, if you would, espresso all around. 1.2500 0.05339 96 76 16 4
2389 Friends, let me introduce Dave from HR, who successfully stopped the Area 51 raid this fall. 1.2500 0.05339 96 76 16 4
2390 From now on, all company bathroom's are gender neutral. 1.2500 0.05130 96 75 18 3
2391 What's for dinner, you may ask... 1.2500 0.04622 120 94 22 4
2392 Who invited the oddball ? 1.2500 0.04622 120 94 22 4
2393 Don't worry, he's been probed, and he still wants to join the board. 1.2500 0.04722 116 91 21 4
2394 At our next intergalactic conference we can discuss climate change and the impact on space ships... 1.2500 0.04722 116 91 21 4
2395 I really believe we are what we eat. 1.2500 0.04722 116 91 21 4
2396 Join me in welcoming Harris, V.P. of our new Office of Inclusion and Diversity! 1.2500 0.04722 116 91 21 4
2397 I’m building a mythical kingdom and would appreciate your input. 1.2500 0.04879 116 92 19 5
2398 Lower back butterfly tattoo is next. 1.2500 0.06033 80 64 12 4
2399 Now that everybody is here... 1.2500 0.04879 116 94 16 6
2400 Everyone deserves a seat at the table. 1.2500 0.04622 120 94 22 4
2401 Ah, the first course on the GOP luncheon menu is served: filet of whistleblower. 1.2500 0.05339 96 76 16 4
2402 Who will be taking notes? 1.2479 0.04361 117 90 25 2
2403 I'd like to introduce you to the newest member of the Trump team. 1.2479 0.04991 117 94 17 6
2404 The Universal Council is adding a new member.... 1.2479 0.04687 117 92 21 4
2405 All departments have exceeded projections except yours, Blrrrfpt. 1.2479 0.04687 117 92 21 4
2406 We’re here for the Star Wars tryouts! 1.2479 0.04841 117 93 19 5
2407 Unanimous vote. The Creator goes. 1.2479 0.04687 117 92 21 4
2408 How would you like your lizard cooked? 1.2479 0.04687 117 92 21 4
2409 We definitely need to rewrite our “Inclusion Policy”! 1.2479 0.04527 117 91 23 3
2410 Ron here will tell us how a human organization works. 1.2479 0.04361 117 90 25 2
2411 ‘The suit looks bad, but not as bad as having a spoon for a head.’ 1.2469 0.06219 81 66 10 5
2412 Edgar is from earth; let's all say "Hi Edgar!" to welcome him. 1.2466 0.06101 73 58 12 3
2413 So please be in touch, and keep up the bad work. 1.2456 0.04915 114 91 18 5
2414 And because of his long experience in D.C., I think Bob here would make a great addition to the League of Swamp Things. 1.2456 0.04589 114 89 22 3
2415 It's Bring a Guy in a Suit to Work Day 1.2456 0.05071 114 92 16 6
2416 A consultant is here today to tell us about diversity. 1.2456 0.04589 114 89 22 3
2417 Harold here from Legal says we CAN eat the competition alive 1.2456 0.05071 114 92 16 6
2418 I thought it important that at least one member of the executive team wear clothing. 1.2456 0.05071 114 92 16 6
2419 Please welcome Adam, our newest Misfits Anonymous member. 1.2456 0.04589 114 89 22 3
2420 This is our new intern Norm. Anybody hungry? 1.2456 0.04915 114 91 18 5
2421 Why aren't you sitting Richard? 1.2456 0.04755 114 90 20 4
2422 This is a working lunch, so who wants the head? 1.2456 0.04915 114 91 18 5
2423 Ignore the human in the room. 1.2456 0.04915 114 91 18 5
2424 And now, Jerry from HR with a few questions about his predecessor. 1.2456 0.04416 114 88 24 2
2425 What can the suit bring to the table? Hear him out, he says he's got a Planet B. 1.2456 0.04755 114 90 20 4
2426 We are sorry to inform you that your monstrously ugly looks preclude your employment here at Handsome R Us. 1.2456 0.04755 114 90 20 4
2427 Al, Sarah, Bill, Chris, Jose, Heather- I’d like to introduce you to our new intern, Xengorf. 1.2456 0.05071 114 92 16 6
2428 Personally, I thin it's disgusting when the food gets displayed at the table before the chef kills and cooks it! 1.2456 0.04915 114 91 18 5
2429 He’s a diversity candidate. 1.2456 0.04755 114 90 20 4
2430 Not to sound like a character from an old Twilight Zone episode, but this guy is hideous. 1.2456 0.04915 114 91 18 5
2431 Why don’t we all go around the table and introduce ourselves. 1.2456 0.04589 114 89 22 3
2432 He might look dumb, but he is capable to shit a planet entirely 1.2456 0.05368 114 94 12 8
2433 Hahahaha! You thought I meant drain the swamp? Make swAmps Great Again is how it is supposed to read. 1.2456 0.05071 114 92 16 6
2434 HR seems to think our dress code is a little TOO casual 1.2456 0.04915 114 91 18 5
2435 Now Todd from Human Resources will present our extinction benefits package. 1.2456 0.05071 114 92 16 6
2436 I chosen Melvin here to be our new Director of Diversity. 1.2456 0.04416 114 88 24 2
2437 Welcome to our support group: "People don't believe in us." George is new this week. 1.2456 0.04237 114 91 19 3
2438 Given the make-up of our company do we really need a director of Human Resources? 1.2456 0.04755 114 90 20 4
2439 So what's it going to be guys, pizza or people? 1.2456 0.04755 114 90 20 4
2440 We have changed the recipe for Coca Cola! 1.2456 0.04755 114 90 20 4
2441 Everybody,meet Thomas,our new token diversity hire! 1.2456 0.04589 114 89 22 3
2442 Let's order quickly, before he wakes up! 1.2456 0.04416 114 88 24 2
2443 Why not? It's time we had someone like Fred on this board. 1.2456 0.04915 114 91 18 5
2444 Welcome, gentlemen, to the inaugural meeting of the Figments of President Trump's Imagination. 1.2456 0.05511 114 95 10 9
2445 Please welcome Carl from Human Resources. 1.2456 0.05071 114 92 16 6
2446 Dinner's here! 1.2456 0.04416 114 88 24 2
2447 meeting my girlfriends family 1.2456 0.05071 114 92 16 6
2448 Ladies and Gentlemen of the Board, let me introduce our newest member, who comes to us from the Cenozoic Era. 1.2456 0.04589 114 89 22 3
2449 Who's in favor of just eating the human resources? 1.2456 0.05222 114 93 14 7
2450 I'm proud to say, you are our most diverse cohort yet. 1.2456 0.04589 114 89 22 3
2451 Since we've completed recovery, we can now look and not eat. 1.2456 0.04589 114 89 22 3
2452 Great Halloween costume - a human! 1.2456 0.04915 114 91 18 5
2453 When he promised to drain the swamp, we just knew he would put us in a better place. Hail to the Chief. 1.2456 0.05071 114 92 16 6
2454 J.B. Goode is here to propose a merger of Goode Incorporated with our company, Bad and Ugly Limited. 1.2456 0.04915 114 91 18 5
2455 And before you assume that Jaworski here is just another diversity hire, I want to you know that I vetted him personally and he comes from an absolutely delicious family. 1.2456 0.04755 114 90 20 4
2456 I'm afraid Noah has some bad news for us. 1.2456 0.04416 114 88 24 2
2457 As an outside director, Brent brings a new level of edibility to the swamp. 1.2456 0.04755 114 90 20 4
2458 Meet our latest...er....Board Membe 1.2456 0.04416 114 88 24 2
2459 Your meal has been served. 1.2456 0.04755 114 89 20 4
2460 We need to diversify the board 1.2456 0.04237 114 87 26 1
2461 His sales figures are a joke, but let's not forget he's only human. 1.2456 0.04915 114 91 18 5
2462 I've invited Mr. Oswald here to share an idea that many of you might find alien! 1.2456 0.04915 114 91 18 5
2463 The new guy will us that long-needed human touch. 1.2456 0.04755 114 90 20 4
2464 Remember earthlings are "bitter" and do not taste good! 1.2456 0.04915 114 91 18 5
2465 H R says we need more diversity on the board. 1.2456 0.04915 114 91 18 5
2466 Trust me. He’s as dumb as he looks. 1.2456 0.04589 114 89 22 3
2467 But he should help settle the lack of diversity issue! 1.2456 0.04416 114 88 24 2
2468 I’d like to introduce you all to Dave. “Hi Dave!” He’ll be our dinner tonight. 1.2456 0.04589 114 89 22 3
2469 I know he seems a little odd, but he has excellent references. 1.2456 0.04755 114 90 20 4
2470 Yes, I have a cold and I'm not hungry. 1.2456 0.04416 114 88 24 2
2471 He wants to know if we're vegan or vegetarian 1.2456 0.04915 114 91 18 5
2472 whoo blu the wistil on me? 1.2456 0.04755 114 90 20 4
2473 We need to stop acting like a bunch of humans 1.2456 0.05071 114 92 16 6
2474 Bob here says before we invade Earth we need to file an environmental impact statement. I figure that won’t delay us more than a couple of weeks. 1.2456 0.04589 114 89 22 3
2475 Everyone, meet Harald, he will be heading up the new diversity initiative. 1.2456 0.04755 114 90 20 4
2476 Welcome to the Inner Demon Gathering. I'd like to introduce Greg, head of middle school memories. 1.2456 0.04915 114 91 18 5
2477 No, Jeremy is not lunch. He is here to take your deli lunch order. 1.2456 0.04915 114 91 18 5
2478 And, remember, for promotion to this board, we may not consider Mr. Aubrey's personal appearance. 1.2456 0.04589 114 89 22 3
2479 Brian will be heading our diversity taskforce. 1.2456 0.04237 114 87 26 1
2480 Gentlemen, who's got an idea about how to attract prettier women to our pageant? 1.2444 0.05544 90 72 14 4
2481 Everyone this is Larry from accounting. I know he looks a bit odd, but wait til you see him after a night of drinking! 1.2444 0.05544 90 72 14 4
2482 I vote we completely recast the new 'Star Wars' movie. 1.2435 0.04553 115 90 22 3
2483 So do we agree to move the dental floss account to Mr. Wilson's company? 1.2414 0.05887 87 71 11 5
2484 Welcome to Unlovables Anonymous. 1.2411 0.04616 112 88 21 3
2485 Taxidermy Joe is exhibit A: ignore climate change, go extinct. 1.2411 0.04616 112 88 21 3
2486 Just remember to grunt on cue. 1.2411 0.04438 112 87 23 2
2487 Robert's rules of Mordor 1.2411 0.04616 112 88 21 3
2488 I know the side effects were listed in the commercial, doc, but who really thinks it's going to happen to them? 1.2411 0.05112 112 91 15 6
2489 This is Max, our insurance agent. He'll fit nicely here. 1.2411 0.04952 112 90 17 5
2490 I'd like you to meet Fred - he's our token response to the need for more diversity around here....... 1.2411 0.04616 112 88 21 3
2491 Now that the cabinet is assembled, what do we do with the weird guy?" 1.2411 0.04616 112 88 21 3
2492 And to fullfil our diversity requirement, I've invited a Republican. 1.2411 0.05112 112 91 15 6
2493 The reason you are all gathered here today is to revisit the corporate dress code. 1.2411 0.04616 112 88 21 3
2494 He is like Bigfoot in character, but he looks like Trump 1.2411 0.04952 112 90 17 5
2495 Trust me! When you get to a certain age, “middle-management” gets pretty scary. 1.2411 0.05267 112 92 13 7
2496 It's called a Trump Republican - all in favor of it joining our board say aye. 1.2411 0.04952 112 90 17 5
2497 Congratulations on another year of convincing everyone we don't exist. 1.2411 0.04787 112 89 19 4
2498 Please welcome Dave. Our company decided to expand its definition of 'diversity.' 1.2411 0.04616 112 88 21 3
2499 I know not all of us were fans of the board diversity initiative. 1.2411 0.04438 112 87 23 2
2500 We have a new member in our council of freaks! 1.2411 0.04787 112 89 19 4
2501 He’s not an illegal . . . DACA Trumps deportation! 1.2411 0.04438 112 87 23 2
2502 For the last time, Steve. No human suits on casual Friday! 1.2411 0.04952 112 90 17 5
2503 The 6th Mass Extinction Board Meeting 1.2411 0.04787 112 89 19 4
2504 In our effort to add some diversity to the board, please welcome Mr. Simon Sneed. 1.2411 0.04616 112 88 21 3
2505 How many more years of evolution do I need before I can get a seat at this table? 1.2411 0.04952 112 90 17 5
2506 Stan here is a human, and would like to join the team. 1.2411 0.04787 112 89 19 4
2507 Jared’s our diversity hire. 1.2411 0.04616 112 87 21 3
2508 I have a 'monster' personality, does that count? 1.2411 0.04787 112 89 19 4
2509 The accountant lost Duck, Duck, Goose, so we can eat him. 1.2411 0.04616 112 88 21 3
2510 He’s a good lawyer. He might become our consigliere. 1.2411 0.04616 112 88 21 3
2511 I'm glad to see our diversity program is working. 1.2411 0.04616 112 88 21 3
2512 I'd like you all to meet our new committee member. He represents Earth. 1.2411 0.04952 112 90 17 5
2513 Why is Craig the only one in costume? 1.2411 0.04787 112 89 19 4
2514 Alienation Summit to decide if humans can exist with other beings. Not looking good for humans! 1.2411 0.04787 112 89 19 4
2515 OK, I get it, he's not green. But Larry here can step foot into places we can't. Trader Joe's for example. 1.2411 0.04787 112 89 19 4
2516 We've run the numbers and doing the mash is not going to keep this company afloat 1.2411 0.05267 112 92 13 7
2517 OK, so, sesame street, cartoons, adorable critters, hiding under the bed or in the closet, monsters, so we need to be out and proud! 1.2411 0.04952 112 90 17 5
2518 We were discussing singularity. 1.2411 0.04616 112 88 21 3
2519 Listen up... this is Jim of planet Earth and he’s here to explain the Earthly phenomenon of eating ass. Please give him a warm round of applause 1.2411 0.04787 112 89 19 4
2520 Welcoming a unique species like Steve can only enhance the biodiversity that make our tropical island so wonderful. 1.2411 0.04787 112 89 19 4
2521 Everyone...Ben here is going to help us with our public facing social media problem. 1.2411 0.04438 112 87 23 2
2522 I now call the future Democrats of America meeting to order. 1.2411 0.05112 112 91 15 6
2523 Ok, what's everybody dressing up for Halloween ? 1.2411 0.04952 112 90 17 5
2524 My mentor told me to imagine you all naked when I give my speech. 1.2411 0.04952 112 90 17 5
2525 How do you assume to win 'Best Alien Costume' with that? 1.2411 0.04787 112 89 19 4
2526 Alien Resources has advised us that we need more diversity. Meet Dave. 1.2411 0.04438 112 87 23 2
2527 ... and the newest member of our Nightmare Monsters team, Ted from the IRS 1.2411 0.04952 112 90 17 5
2528 Welcome brother to the leadership table. We believe and value diversity and inclusion. 1.2411 0.04952 112 90 17 5
2529 Mr. Henderson is here from Monster dot com and he says we are compromising their brand. 1.2411 0.05112 112 91 15 6
2530 Look at that weirdo standing there. Well, I guess it takes all kinds. 1.2411 0.04952 112 90 17 5
2531 For some reason, he's refusing to take us to their leader.... 1.2411 0.04616 112 88 21 3
2532 Now, it is time for me to introduce you a real Monster. Beware. 1.2411 0.05112 112 91 15 6
2533 James wins the costume contest for something completely bizarre. 1.2411 0.04253 112 86 25 1
2534 James is our diversity hire. 1.2411 0.04528 112 90 18 4
2535 I just thought that it was time we got a little diversity on the board. 1.2411 0.04787 112 89 19 4
2536 I know he's the stuff of nightmares, but we must be 'Inclusive'! 1.2411 0.04616 112 88 21 3
2537 Please ignore the human in the room. 1.2411 0.04438 112 87 23 2
2538 I’ve brought in Carl to show us how to put our best body part forward. 1.2411 0.04438 112 87 23 2
2539 Peter here is from the Trump administration! 1.2411 0.04952 112 90 17 5
2540 Next agenda item. Our diversity program. 1.2411 0.04616 112 88 21 3
2541 No, this person is not lunch. He's our new accountant. 1.2411 0.04438 112 87 23 2
2542 Well, Dibbins, how's that for diversity in the boardroom? 1.2411 0.04616 112 88 21 3
2543 For the third year in a row, Kenneth here has overcome his hideous looks to be our top salesman! 1.2411 0.05267 112 92 13 7
2544 We want to welcome Luke Skywalker back from college! He's graduated now and ready to get to work... 1.2411 0.04952 112 90 17 5
2545 Here to explain race relations, a member of the human race. 1.2411 0.04787 112 89 19 4
2546 Our guest today will talk to us about our evolution since last we met. 1.2411 0.04616 112 88 21 3
2547 We are agreed then. We will not eat the earthling. 1.2411 0.04787 112 89 19 4
2548 This is Bob. He fits in anywhere. 1.2411 0.04438 112 87 23 2
2549 Unlike us, this species wears clothes. 1.2411 0.04952 112 90 17 5
2550 The first meeting of the new normal club is now in session. 1.2411 0.04787 112 89 19 4
2551 This is Dan everyone. He recently dropped out of the presidential race. Naturally, we were able to hire him immediately! Welcome Dan!” 1.2411 0.04438 112 87 23 2
2552 Since the deli can't deliver today, we're going to just have some spotted Dick. 1.2411 0.05112 112 91 15 6
2553 Any further questions as to when the swamp will be drained? 1.2411 0.04952 112 90 17 5
2554 I say impeach him and then have him for lunch with yams fries and and apple pie. 1.2411 0.05112 112 91 15 6
2555 What is it with these earthlings and their insistence on wearing clothes 1.2411 0.04616 112 88 21 3
2556 The new acquisition for our zoo is a scary earthling. 1.2411 0.04253 112 86 25 1
2557 Great quarter guys, but the boss says we need to focus more on our human relations 1.2411 0.04952 112 90 17 5
2558 I think I am speaking for the board. We feel you just can’t fit in. 1.2411 0.04787 112 89 19 4
2559 Everyone, meet Bob. He's a dentist. 1.2411 0.04438 112 87 23 2
2560 Simon is here from HR to discuss our dress code. 1.2411 0.04438 112 87 23 2
2561 Kudos on reaching our diversity goals 1.2411 0.04438 112 87 23 2
2562 I have to agree with Blorag, the third child was the tastiest and the one I'd most likely recommend to a friend. 1.2411 0.04616 112 88 21 3
2563 Bill will be handling Human Relations. 1.2411 0.04438 112 87 23 2
2564 Jim understands our target market. 1.2411 0.04787 112 89 19 4
2565 Is it Okay with you guys I sit someone who fails our dress code? 1.2411 0.04952 112 90 17 5
2566 Interestingly, the only known function of that striped piece of fabric under the chin is to enable the wearer to hang himself. 1.2411 0.04787 112 89 19 4
2567 Who’s dinner? 1.2411 0.04952 112 90 17 5
2568 There's something going around. 1.2411 0.04616 112 88 21 3
2569 Please tell George Lucas that we're out of work and could use a job. 1.2411 0.04952 112 90 17 5
2570 Ok Grimsley, who drew you so chump looking. 1.2411 0.04616 112 88 21 3
2571 And here’s the prototype for the year 2000 1.2411 0.04952 112 92 14 6
2572 Think outside of the box. 1.2411 0.04952 112 90 17 5
2573 On the bright side, this benighted species has the strange ability to replicate itself. Could be useful as a source of slave labor. 1.2411 0.04616 112 88 21 3
2574 In the interest of maintaining diversity, we're happy to welcome Malcolm to our board. 1.2411 0.04616 112 88 21 3
2575 I know it doesn’t look much, but trust me, it really is edible! 1.2411 0.04787 112 89 19 4
2576 Let's give a warm White House welcome to our newest hire, Bob. 1.2411 0.04787 112 89 19 4
2577 Hi everyone, as you know you've been randomly selected for additional screening. 1.2411 0.04952 112 90 17 5
2578 I thought this was a human resources meeting? 1.2411 0.04616 112 88 21 3
2579 He comes with a message of peace, and I say we hear him out before we eat him. 1.2411 0.04952 112 90 17 5
2580 It’s settled then. We will work on our public image before launching our new marketing campaign. 1.2411 0.04438 112 87 23 2
2581 Simmons here is our diversity hire. 1.2411 0.04616 112 88 21 3
2582 Anyone in favor of Stan's suggestion, "It was a graveyard smash?" 1.2411 0.04952 112 90 17 5
2583 (thought) I remember Nate said, if you look around the table and can't tell who the mark is, you are the mark! 1.2411 0.04952 112 90 17 5
2584 I know he is strange looking but Chas Addams created him, so I think he will fit right in. 1.2411 0.04952 112 90 17 5
2585 This is Jim. He's just transferred over from human resources. 1.2411 0.04787 112 89 19 4
2586 C'mon guys, we have to diversify. All in favor of Joe joining the board, say, "Aye." 1.2411 0.04438 112 87 23 2
2587 Let’s all congratulate Ted, who’s been promoted to head of our Hiding Under Beds and Scaring Children Division. 1.2411 0.04438 112 87 23 2
2588 Let’s put are differences aside and focus on the matter at hand: are carbs OK? 1.2411 0.04952 112 90 17 5
2589 We have two resolutions pending: One to welcome the human onto our council and one to have him prepared for dinner. 1.2411 0.04952 112 90 17 5
2590 Do any of you need to phone home before we vote? 1.2411 0.04787 112 89 19 4
2591 Now before Moe gives his little talk, let's all put on our thinking caps. 1.2411 0.04787 112 89 19 4
2592 Well, with our friend from Earth, we have a quorum. 1.2411 0.04616 112 90 18 4
2593 Today's guest will speak to us about evasion and survival. 1.2411 0.04787 112 89 19 4
2594 Human Resources would like a word, apparently. 1.2411 0.04952 112 90 17 5
2595 For next year's meeting, someone said to me, "Why not Doral"? 1.2411 0.04787 112 89 19 4
2596 And I’ve asked Bob to handle community outreach. 1.2411 0.04616 112 88 21 3
2597 Excuse me, but we agreed Amphibians-only at the Board meetings. 1.2411 0.04952 112 90 17 5
2598 Well, we agree; "I'm the chosen one." 1.2411 0.04438 112 87 23 2
2599 Bob here will be implementing our new corporate dress code. 1.2411 0.04616 112 88 21 3
2600 Finally! Lunch is here! 1.2411 0.04253 112 86 25 1
2601 I'd like to introduce you all to our new director of diversity. 1.2411 0.04616 112 88 21 3
2602 He's both non-partisan and non-biological" 1.2411 0.04616 112 88 21 3
2603 Please join me in welcoming Walter, our new therapy human. 1.2411 0.04787 112 89 19 4
2604 Okay folks, this is our new hire, Mr. Smith. Please note: he's wearing a tie. 1.2411 0.04787 112 89 19 4
2605 Please welcome Ted—and, remember, it’s illegal to mock a co-worker’s physical appearance. 1.2411 0.05267 112 92 13 7
2606 Wow Yog Sothoth, your Stephen Miller costume is perfect! 1.2411 0.05112 112 91 15 6
2607 And I know you'll all want to join me in welcoming our new Chief Diversity Officer. 1.2411 0.04253 112 86 25 1
2608 All those in favor of a facial recognition system? 1.2411 0.04787 112 89 19 4
2609 This is James. He'll be with us for two weeks. He's from the Earth branch. 1.2411 0.04787 112 89 19 4
2610 Let’s welcome our new team leader. Looks like he’s ready to shake things up around here. 1.2411 0.04616 112 88 21 3
2611 Human Resources has a bone to pick with our department. 1.2411 0.04616 112 88 21 3
2612 I called this meeting to drain the swamp. 1.2411 0.04787 112 89 19 4
2613 Everyone welcome Bob, we're having him for lunch. 1.2411 0.04616 112 88 21 3
2614 Well, the National Science Foundation has completed its fact-finding, and our conclusion is unanimous: climate change is real. 1.2405 0.05469 79 62 15 2
2615 Wow! Your costume is so inventive Larry. 1.2397 0.04549 121 96 21 4
2616 I'd like everyone to meet our new chief diversity officer... 1.2389 0.04221 113 87 25 1
2617 What qualifies you for Monsters Inc.? 1.2389 0.04913 113 91 17 5
2618 The first Intergalactic United Nations meeting was rather uneventful. 1.2389 0.04913 113 91 17 5
2619 Meet Jerome, our diversity consultant 1.2389 0.04913 113 91 17 5
2620 I'd like to introduce our new Vice President for Diversity... 1.2389 0.04913 113 91 17 5
2621 Everyone, this is Kevin, our new hire. He may look odd but I know he’ll fit right in. 1.2389 0.04404 113 88 23 2
2622 I’ve just learned we can congratulate ourselves. We’ve now outlasted Barney’s! 1.2389 0.04749 113 90 19 4
2623 We're happy to report that our diversity goal has been met for this year. 1.2389 0.04749 113 90 19 4
2624 You could all take a lesson from Steve. At least he's dressed up. 1.2389 0.04404 113 88 23 2
2625 Corporate rules require diversity. 1.2385 0.04303 109 84 24 1
2626 It's survival of the fittest, and we're getting our butts kicked by this? 1.2385 0.05031 109 88 16 5
2627 Bob has a very different view of our complete world domination and elimination of all mankind strategy. 1.2385 0.04681 109 86 20 3
2628 Bob here is interviewing for the position of mascot. 1.2385 0.05197 109 89 14 6
2629 Raise your fore-limb if you want to let him have a seat at the table. 1.2385 0.04859 109 87 18 4
2630 It’s clear we’ve met this year’s goal for diversity. 1.2385 0.04859 109 87 18 4
2631 OK. Our next candidate doesn't claim he's much of a people person. I'll let him explain how he'll fit in. 1.2385 0.04303 109 84 24 1
2632 Our new agent here says he's got contacts at Disney and Marvel. 1.2385 0.04681 109 86 20 3
2633 I motion that we eat the human for lunch. 1.2385 0.04303 109 84 24 1
2634 Let's vote. The cafeteria, take-out or this guy. 1.2385 0.05031 109 88 16 5
2635 I realize most of us look and feel like hell so early in the morning, but we have some important business to discuss. 1.2385 0.04681 109 86 20 3
2636 Gentlemen, please welcome Carl, our newest board member. Or, perhaps, lunch. 1.2385 0.04859 109 87 18 4
2637 I took the liberty of ordering for the table. Raw is ok for everyone? 1.2385 0.04859 109 87 18 4
2638 I brought you here today to talk about inclusivityness. 1.2385 0.04681 109 86 20 3
2639 Mr. Steven's work speaks for itself. We're lucky to have him. 1.2385 0.05031 109 88 16 5
2640 Paul will be joining the board as our token human. 1.2385 0.04859 109 87 18 4
2641 I'd like to start the meeting by welcoming our new Director of Human Resources. 1.2385 0.04859 109 87 18 4
2642 I guess you’re not familiar with the concept of casual Fridays. 1.2385 0.04496 109 85 22 2
2643 Irwin here doesn't speak our language, so I brought him along for lunch. I hope no one's a vegetarian." 1.2385 0.04859 109 87 18 4
2644 Are you ready for the brontosaurus which the Diversity Office is bringing in next week? 1.2385 0.05031 109 88 16 5
2645 I know we said no earthlings on the Board, but his opposable thumb might come in handy. 1.2385 0.04496 109 85 22 2
2646 In this world Amazon rules guys! 1.2385 0.05031 109 88 16 5
2647 Coffee, anyone...? 1.2385 0.04681 109 86 20 3
2648 We want to make the Board more diverse 1.2385 0.04681 109 86 20 3
2649 Please meet out new Human Resources Manager. 1.2385 0.05031 109 88 16 5
2650 Everybody welcome Brian from accounts. Please don't eat him or at least please wait till December's payroll is completed. 1.2385 0.04859 109 87 18 4
2651 Everyone, Tod is here to give some pointers on getting the customer to believe you exist. 1.2385 0.04859 109 87 18 4
2652 Ah... another day at the white house. 1.2385 0.04303 109 84 24 1
2653 I know what you're all thinking: what even is fibromyalgia? 1.2385 0.04859 109 87 18 4
2654 "I'd like to introduce James, our newest hire. He says he went to "Eton" - who wants to be first? 1.2385 0.04681 109 86 20 3
2655 We need to think outside the box, so I invited him here today to offer us an earthly perspective. 1.2385 0.04859 109 87 18 4
2656 This guy has represented the ugliest people, we'll be fine. 1.2385 0.04681 109 88 16 4
2657 No, I'm sorry to disappoint you,but this is our new diversity candidate, not today's lunch order. 1.2385 0.05197 109 89 14 6
2658 Before we vote on whether to admit this candidate, I would like to remind you all not get hung up on his appearance. 1.2385 0.04303 109 84 24 1
2659 Gentlemen, there's no need to resort to scare tactics. 1.2385 0.04303 109 84 24 1
2660 What happened to our last waiter? 1.2385 0.04859 109 87 18 4
2661 Welcome to "lunch* 1.2385 0.05197 109 89 14 6
2662 Can you believe this was their leader?! 1.2385 0.04496 109 85 22 2
2663 He says that buying life insurance doesn't have to be everyone's worst nightmare. 1.2385 0.04681 109 86 20 3
2664 I propose we allow him to join. He will add diversity and rarity as his species will soon be extinct. 1.2385 0.04681 109 86 20 3
2665 I want you all to meet the new man in accounting. And by man, I mean man. 1.2385 0.04496 109 85 22 2
2666 Who invited the suit? 1.2385 0.04496 109 85 22 2
2667 We'll make him an odor he can't refuse. 1.2385 0.05197 109 89 14 6
2668 Wyatt has been hired to be the company's new public face. 1.2385 0.04859 109 87 18 4
2669 In our boardroom diversity rules 1.2385 0.04496 109 85 22 2
2670 This diversity thing may have gone too far 1.2385 0.04681 109 86 20 3
2671 Come on guys, humans can be monsters too. 1.2385 0.04681 109 86 20 3
2672 Why are you wearing that stupid human suit? 1.2385 0.05197 109 89 14 6
2673 Guys, this is Henry. Don't let his bizarre appearance frighten you. We can't all be monsters. 1.2385 0.04859 109 87 18 4
2674 We're thrilled to welcome Mr. Sapiens as our new Monstrosity Consultant. 1.2385 0.05197 109 89 14 6
2675 All in favor say mnpxqw 1.2385 0.05197 109 89 14 6
2676 The board will now vote to amend our diversity policy. 1.2385 0.04681 109 86 20 3
2677 Kevin's taking lunch orders, I'll do a small mound of garbage and some toxic waste. 1.2385 0.04859 109 87 18 4
2678 Every intern's 1st experience. 1.2385 0.05031 109 88 16 5
2679 And please meet our newest director of human resources. 1.2385 0.04681 109 86 20 3
2680 Where did you find him, Gary? 1.2381 0.06017 84 69 10 5
2681 Okay. Who told Slagthorn that this was going to be a costume party? 1.2376 0.04905 101 80 18 3
2682 Not what I meant by “serve with dressing.” 1.2368 0.05884 76 61 12 3
2683 We're letting you go." 1.2364 0.04460 110 86 22 2
2684 As you can see, our new diversity officer is uniquely qualified for the job. 1.2364 0.04644 110 87 20 3
2685 ...and by eliminating only one species, we've been able to rescue the others and the planet. To celebrate, and complete the process, I've invited Billy for lunch. 1.2364 0.04460 110 86 22 2
2686 Meet our new Chief Diversity Officer 1.2364 0.04644 110 87 20 3
2687 And meet your new friends, Les; like you, they are from out of town.... 1.2364 0.04990 110 89 16 5
2688 Oh, I thought they said to show up in-person. 1.2364 0.04820 110 88 18 4
2689 Council, meet Whistleblower Tim, he'll be joining us from now on. 1.2364 0.04990 110 89 16 5
2690 Team, meet our new office human, Manny. 1.2364 0.04269 110 85 24 1
2691 Let’s continue with our agenda - Who is scheduled to hide under little Jimmy’s bed?” 1.2364 0.04820 110 88 18 4
2692 Board meeting of Monsters, Inc. 1.2353 0.05246 102 83 14 5
2693 Mr. White, here, has given us nicknames; starting with me: I am Happy, you are Dopey, Grumpy, Sneezy, Bashful, Sleepy, and Doc. 1.2353 0.05604 102 85 10 7
2694 Can you guess which thing is not like the other? Can you guess which thing just doesn't belong..... 1.2353 0.05712 85 69 12 4
2695 Good morning fellas, Ted is up for induction to the monster association. He's a lawyer for a pharmaceutical company that has convinced the public that they neither caused nor profited from human misery. 1.2336 0.05407 107 89 11 7
2696 I 'd like you all to meet our new intern, David. I thought it would be good to add some fresh blood to our company. 1.2336 0.04319 107 83 23 1
2697 And now let’s hear from Senor Mucho Feo. Haha! Just kidding! 1.2336 0.04519 107 84 21 2
2698 Steve says: out of the human consuming industry, into the human consumer industry. 1.2336 0.04710 107 85 19 3
2699 As the human ambassador, I just want to commend you all on another smash of a monster mash this year. 1.2336 0.04893 107 86 17 4
2700 I think it's time to our review our reptiles only policy. 1.2336 0.04319 107 83 23 1
2701 So, what’s going on with Chile? 1.2336 0.05070 107 87 15 5
2702 Everyone, this is Larry. I promised his dad I’d give him a job just before I ate him. 1.2336 0.05070 107 87 15 5
2703 Get a load of this guy! 1.2336 0.04893 107 86 17 4
2704 Let's decide who gets this guy for today's dinner 1.2336 0.05070 107 87 15 5
2705 Meet our accountant. 1.2336 0.04893 107 86 17 4
2706 Bob here is our new diversity officer. He'd like a seat at the table. 1.2336 0.04893 107 86 17 4
2707 Guys, meet Norm. Our new director of human resources. 1.2336 0.04710 107 85 19 3
2708 We had too little lack of diversity so I brought Howard on board. 1.2336 0.05241 107 88 13 6
2709 Jeff is here to remind us all of our unique place in the organization. 1.2336 0.04319 107 83 23 1
2710 Let him get the coffee and tea first, then we eat him. 1.2336 0.04319 107 83 23 1
2711 As chairman of the board of Mutants of Omaha, I request a reading of the minutes. 1.2336 0.05070 107 87 15 5
2712 But what will the scareholders think? 1.2336 0.05407 107 89 11 7
2713 Well, this seems like as good a time as any to get the committee on women's health started 1.2336 0.05241 107 88 13 6
2714 And now a few tips from the congressman. 1.2315 0.04482 108 85 21 2
2715 Okay, show of hands - who wants to eat Bob from Accouting? 1.2315 0.05197 108 89 13 6
2716 He’s joining us from the firm of Mammal, Mammal and Mammal. 1.2315 0.04482 108 85 21 2
2717 I've asked Marketing to send Jim down to give us a out-of-the-box perspective. 1.2315 0.04284 108 84 23 1
2718 It was a perfict conversation. 1.2315 0.04853 108 87 17 4
2719 Everyone, meet Bob. We think he’ll fit right in. 1.2315 0.04671 108 86 19 3
2720 This is Fred - he's new so let's give him the usual welcome.... 1.2315 0.04671 108 86 19 3
2721 Just want to say I really like working here but I feel very alien-ated. 1.2315 0.04671 108 86 19 3
2722 Will the Trump cabinet Please come to Order!! 1.2315 0.04853 108 87 17 4
2723 No, really. Jim is scary, too, guys. He’s a tax attorney who just asked you to read his screenplay. 1.2315 0.04853 108 87 17 4
2724 This is Jenkins, our new Human Resource. 1.2308 0.04579 104 82 20 2
2725 Voters actually still think we have a white supremacy agenda. 1.2308 0.05155 104 85 14 5
2726 Nice suit weirdo! 1.2308 0.04779 104 83 18 3
2727 I guess you didn't get the memo. 1.2308 0.04779 104 83 18 3
2728 Top of the list?.....What's for lunch? 1.2308 0.04779 104 83 18 3
2729 And as we begin our diversity scheme, this is Gerald, not lunch. 1.2308 0.04970 104 84 16 4
2730 And just to show we take this issue seriously, we've hired Jake here as our Chief Diversity Officer. 1.2308 0.04970 104 84 16 4
2731 Did everyone get a chance to read the enchanted scroll I sent out before the meeting? 1.2308 0.04779 104 83 18 3
2732 I'd like to introduce today's lunch special. 1.2308 0.04779 104 83 18 3
2733 I know what you're thinking: he's not a little green. 1.2308 0.04779 104 83 18 3
2734 Eddie, stop drooling. He's our new image consultant, not lunch. 1.2308 0.04779 104 83 18 3
2735 Gary is going to be the new face of Philip Morris. 1.2308 0.04779 104 83 18 3
2736 This is Mike from HR, he's here to walk us through their department's name change to Sentient Being Resources. 1.2308 0.04970 104 84 16 4
2737 Enough of these scare tactics! 1.2308 0.04779 104 83 18 3
2738 Any dietary restrictions? Jeff's putting in the lunch order. 1.2308 0.05155 104 85 14 5
2739 Our guest speaker today claims to be opposed to genetic modification. 1.2308 0.04579 104 82 20 2
2740 Which one of you invited the human? 1.2308 0.04371 104 81 22 1
2741 C'mon guys--remember our break-out session on inclusivity? 1.2308 0.04779 104 83 18 3
2742 Sorry, Wilson - we've decided to let you go. You're just not fitting in. 1.2308 0.05155 104 85 14 5
2743 Who ordered lunch? 1.2308 0.04371 104 81 22 1
2744 I told you I would bring some food. 1.2308 0.05155 104 85 14 5
2745 The President's cabinet meets his latest appointee. 1.2308 0.05155 104 85 14 5
2746 Our company is trying to expand its market to Earth, so please welcome our human 1.2308 0.04371 104 81 22 1
2747 Whose happy with their emoji? 1.2308 0.04371 104 81 22 1
2748 Well, for starters, he puts ketchup on his steak. 1.2308 0.04970 104 84 16 4
2749 The token human 1.2308 0.04579 104 82 20 2
2750 This company has always valued diversity. 1.2308 0.04779 104 83 18 3
2751 I am happy to announce Ben as our new Director of Human Resources. 1.2308 0.04970 104 86 13 5
2752 As part of our minority outreach program I'd like you all to welcome our new intern, Phil. 1.2308 0.04779 104 83 18 3
2753 So, could you describe what diversity means to you? 1.2308 0.04579 104 82 20 2
2754 Let me introduce the next real weirdo to join the group. 1.2308 0.04779 104 83 18 3
2755 SAY WELCOME TO OUR NEW BOOGY-MAN INDUCTEE, “WHITE MIDDLE AGED MAN” 1.2308 0.04970 104 84 16 4
2756 Looks like somebody thought that Halloween was today 1.2308 0.04579 104 82 20 2
2757 Oh, good. Lunch is here. 1.2308 0.04779 104 83 18 3
2758 You said we were having pizza for lunch. 1.2308 0.05155 104 85 14 5
2759 I know he looks weird but you have to admit it's a nice suit. 1.2308 0.04579 104 82 20 2
2760 This white man will be good for diversity. 1.2308 0.04970 104 84 16 4
2761 Agreed. The human costume is the scariest 1.2308 0.04779 104 83 18 3
2762 Hold your thoughts for a minute. I see lunch just walked in. 1.2308 0.04779 104 83 18 3
2763 You mean to tell us that the hackers stole ALL of our identities? 1.2308 0.05155 104 85 14 5
2764 You clearly didn't get the memo on the company dress code. 1.2308 0.05155 104 85 14 5
2765 I’d like to introduce our latest addition to Mythical Creatures Inc; Josh the honest lawyer. 1.2308 0.05155 104 85 14 5
2766 Please welcome our external relations officer, Mr. Cronenberg. 1.2308 0.05155 104 85 14 5
2767 So, angry men...where’s Henry Fonda when we need him? 1.2308 0.04680 104 85 15 4
2768 Whoever is having this nightmare should step up and chair the meeting. 1.2308 0.05155 104 85 14 5
2769 The motion to terminate Human Resources carries. 1.2308 0.04970 104 84 16 4
2770 Earth's representative is a weird looking dude! 1.2308 0.05155 104 85 14 5
2771 Your ideas are alien to us. 1.2308 0.04970 104 84 16 4
2772 For all the new cabinet members,the agenda has changed from yesterday! 1.2308 0.04779 104 83 18 3
2773 We must show that we subscribe to modern values. That's why we took him on 1.2308 0.04779 104 83 18 3
2774 I suggest a mixed grill ... 1.2308 0.04579 104 82 20 2
2775 Isn't he kind of cute?" "Forget the menu, I want a piece of that! 1.2308 0.05155 104 85 14 5
2776 The board met to discuss the alien and alienating nature of global capitalism 1.2308 0.04970 104 84 16 4
2777 I do realize that we have focused a lot on diversity, but... 1.2308 0.04579 104 82 20 2
2778 This is John. As you can see, he's possessed Dave. 1.2308 0.04970 104 84 16 4
2779 And now, a spokesman from Tokyo Electric Power Company will explain why the survivors of Fukushima have nothing to fear. 1.2308 0.04970 104 84 16 4
2780 Let the microbe summit begin." 1.2308 0.04970 104 84 16 4
2781 This is John Smith, he's our new diversity hire. Don't look so concerned. Ron Smith will be here at noon, and he's our lunch. 1.2308 0.04779 104 85 15 4
2782 No introductions. Just make your pitch, and it better be great! 1.2308 0.04970 104 84 16 4
2783 The new guy may look strange but I hear he thinks outside the box. 1.2308 0.04371 104 81 22 1
2784 Coffee pot broken again? 1.2308 0.04970 104 84 16 4
2785 Greg, you’re making us loo bad. 1.2308 0.04970 104 84 16 4
2786 Guys, calm down! He'll fit in perfectly. He worked for ICE. 1.2308 0.05155 104 85 14 5
2787 Motion to adjourn the Earth has been made. Do I hear a second? 1.2308 0.04970 104 84 16 4
2788 As you can see, the delicious 1981 vintage comes in a handsome wool wrapping. 1.2308 0.04970 104 84 16 4
2789 We take casual Friday very seriously here, Bob. 1.2308 0.04779 104 83 18 3
2790 He's here, finally! I'm ordering from KFC and McDonalds. Good, no objections. 1.2308 0.04970 104 84 16 4
2791 We’re embracing diversity. 1.2308 0.04371 104 81 22 1
2792 Alright, who ordered the appetizer ? 1.2308 0.04779 104 83 18 3
2793 This is a board meeting not a Star Wars cafe. 1.2308 0.04970 104 84 16 4
2794 Let's give Seth a big, warm welcome to Monsters, Inc." 1.2308 0.04970 104 84 16 4
2795 First order of business is to eliminate the Human Resources Department. 1.2308 0.04970 104 84 16 4
2796 Lets welcome our speaker today on managing inclusiveness. 1.2308 0.05155 104 85 14 5
2797 And now please meet Bob, our new Head of Diversity. 1.2308 0.04579 104 82 20 2
2798 Bob, over to you for our mandated asexual harassment training. 1.2308 0.04579 104 82 20 2
2799 Only one slice. We’re all hungry. 1.2308 0.04970 104 84 16 4
2800 Let’s vote on who is lunch. 1.2308 0.04371 104 81 22 1
2801 I don’t know what he is, but he calls himself a poet. 1.2308 0.05155 104 85 14 5
2802 And now for our midmorning snack. 1.2308 0.04779 104 83 18 3
2803 I’d like to introduce our new intern, Kevin. This one is not for eating. 1.2308 0.04970 104 84 16 4
2804 Do we think Monsters Inc or LLC? 1.2308 0.04970 104 84 16 4
2805 As monsters... I mean, as monsters and humans..." (Eve, age 7 1.2308 0.04579 104 82 20 2
2806 OK, who here agrees with Fred that casual Friday has gone too far? 1.2308 0.04779 104 83 18 3
2807 I'm sure we'll treat him like the animal he is. 1.2308 0.05155 104 85 14 5
2808 This morning I thought we should hear from human resources. 1.2308 0.03674 104 83 19 1
2809 First, let's thank Mr. Addams for hosting. 1.2308 0.04579 104 82 20 2
2810 Steve here will be talking about his diversity and inclusion initiatives. 1.2308 0.04779 104 83 18 3
2811 Ok team- let’s show this guy a real hostile takeover! 1.2308 0.04970 104 84 16 4
2812 Here comes that creepy guy 1.2308 0.04371 104 81 22 1
2813 Yes, but what was she wearing? 1.2308 0.04371 104 81 22 1
2814 So exactly how far do we want to take this diversity thing? 1.2308 0.04579 104 82 20 2
2815 I propose that our new company mascot be named “Maurice,” which has all kinds of cute nicknames, like Moe, Morry, or Morris, highly relatable to eels, our target customers. 1.2308 0.04779 104 83 18 3
2816 Please welcome the newest member to our diversity group. 1.2308 0.04579 104 82 20 2
2817 I'd like to introduce you to Trevor, our new diversity officer. 1.2308 0.04779 104 83 18 3
2818 He says "Eat the monster to your right." 1.2308 0.04779 104 83 18 3
2819 I really feel our diversity initiative is going to work out great 1.2308 0.04779 104 83 18 3
2820 This human species looks pretty appetizing. 1.2308 0.05155 104 85 14 5
2821 Everybody, meet George. He is our new Director of Diversity. 1.2308 0.04579 104 82 20 2
2822 Maybe this one will stop the complaints about our board's diversity. 1.2308 0.04779 104 83 18 3
2823 Gnarly? Sure. But our focus groups eat these up. 1.2308 0.04970 104 84 16 4
2824 Well, I think including a dental plan for everyone is a great idea. 1.2308 0.04970 104 84 16 4
2825 Thanks to 23andMe, Bob finally is reunited with his long lost family. 1.2308 0.05155 104 85 14 5
2826 Hey, let's give him a chance. He's a Trump supporter. 1.2308 0.05155 104 85 14 5
2827 Phil, here, is our new Head of Inhuman Resources. 1.2308 0.04779 104 83 18 3
2828 And now we will hear from Jeff, who will discuss the value of having a pet in your life. 1.2308 0.05155 104 85 14 5
2829 Let's all welcome Bill, our new general counsel, who comes to us straight from the Department of Justice. 1.2308 0.04970 104 84 16 4
2830 Meet our new lobbyist, Dave. 1.2308 0.04970 104 84 16 4
2831 Let’s see what’s left over at Barney’s 1.2308 0.04779 104 83 18 3
2832 And finally, it's Brad's last day; he's the new SCOTUS nominee! 1.2308 0.04371 104 81 22 1
2833 Looks like the whole family's here. 1.2308 0.04970 104 84 16 4
2834 Creatues ... the IRS has dropped tax exemption on Area 51 1.2308 0.05155 104 85 14 5
2835 I’d like to welcome once again, Don Junior. While we fulfill our roles here in the White House, Don and his father’s loyal associates will continue to oversee the swamp. 1.2308 0.05155 104 85 14 5
2836 I’m pleased to announce that the board has reached the ultimate in diversity. 1.2308 0.04779 104 83 18 3
2837 Let's talk about the real elephant in the room. 1.2308 0.04579 104 82 20 2
2838 Please welcome Simon who was on the board of the N.R.A before joining us here. But don't let that scare you!" 1.2308 0.04970 104 84 16 4
2839 Let’s all welcome our new diversity hire! 1.2308 0.04579 104 82 20 2
2840 In the interest of diversity, we have hired Bob. Please do not eat him. 1.2308 0.05155 104 85 14 5
2841 We have two guesses: either the baby was conceived at Chernobyl, or one of you is the father. 1.2289 0.05769 83 68 11 4
2842 Are you sure you're not looking for Cryptology 101?" 1.2289 0.05769 83 68 11 4
2843 We needed more diversity on the Board. 1.2289 0.05769 83 68 11 4
2844 Area 51 residents discuss racial profiling by the staff 1.2289 0.05508 83 67 13 3
2845 Hi John, thanks for joining us. We wanted to talk to you today about your recreational drug use habit. 1.2289 0.05508 83 67 13 3
2846 Let's give a warm welcome to our new Director of Diversity & Inclusion. 1.2289 0.05769 83 68 11 4
2847 He adds diversity. 1.2289 0.05508 83 67 13 3
2848 I’m developing a second Noah’s ark of mythical creatures and would appreciate your input. 1.2289 0.05769 83 68 11 4
2849 He is joining us as part of the Human Resources Inclusion Program. 1.2286 0.04541 105 83 20 2
2850 I hate to sound elitist but who invited the suit ? 1.2286 0.04738 105 84 18 3
2851 I’d like to introduce our new VP of Diversity. 1.2286 0.04928 105 85 16 4
2852 I know you guys have better shot at the winning caption than I do 1.2286 0.04928 105 85 16 4
2853 Now remember, judge him by what he say, not by how he looks. 1.2286 0.04334 105 82 22 1
2854 Diversity in the workplace begins at the top. 1.2286 0.04928 105 85 16 4
2855 Hey, everyone, let’s give a warm “No Photographic Evidence Society” welcome to our newest member. 1.2286 0.04928 105 85 16 4
2856 Next item: Herschel will head up Human Resources. Objections? 1.2286 0.04928 105 85 16 4
2857 Being cold blooded is an advantage when making personnel decisions. And none of you are likely to survive on your good looks. 1.2286 0.04541 105 83 20 2
2858 I'd like to introduce the new director of our workplace diversity program. 1.2286 0.04928 105 85 16 4
2859 We won’t have to break for lunch. 1.2286 0.04541 105 83 20 2
2860 Thought this was a a kangaroo court......where’s the stupid kangaroo? 1.2286 0.05110 105 86 14 5
2861 Word has come down from corporate, effective immediately, no more rodents in the vending machine. 1.2286 0.06490 70 58 8 4
2862 President Trump is definitely one of us, even if he does file down his claws and his horns. 1.2264 0.04698 106 85 18 3
2863 Rodney is here take orders for lunch, unless of course, you just prefer to eat Rodney. 1.2255 0.04808 102 82 17 3
2864 His client agrees to repeal the law of gravity if we annihilate his tax returns. 1.2255 0.04808 102 82 17 3
2865 Our employees have filed a complaint about inhuman treatment. 1.2255 0.05006 102 83 15 4
2866 Lets get this meeting of the Interplanetary Peace Committee started. Oh good, lunch has arrived. 1.2255 0.05006 102 83 15 4
2867 This is Jason's dream job. 1.2255 0.04602 102 81 19 2
2868 Next on the agenda: Whatever happened to Drac's Transylvania Twist? 1.2255 0.04808 102 82 17 3
2869 Arnold here will tell us about the newest trends" 1.2255 0.03386 102 83 18 0
2870 Meet Bruce, our new accountant. And no, you can't eat him. 1.2255 0.05006 102 83 15 4
2871 Let me introduce to you our new Director for Diversity and Inclusion. 1.2255 0.04808 102 82 17 3
2872 This is James. Please don't let his hideous appearance affect your opinion of his ideas. 1.2255 0.04602 102 81 19 2
2873 This is Jerome from the marketing department, he's here to work on our image with the larger urban markets. 1.2255 0.05006 102 83 15 4
2874 There's a diversity of opinion whether it's your ark, Noah! 1.2255 0.05196 102 84 13 5
2875 This is Ed. He's taking over for Thurber who was eaten by "one of you" at our last meeting. 1.2255 0.05006 102 83 15 4
2876 It’s going to a monster of a deal, and I hope I have your collective support! 1.2255 0.05196 102 84 13 5
2877 His name is "President." Strange that there was a huge cheer when we beamed him up from a place called earth. 1.2255 0.05380 102 85 11 6
2878 Ogra, please show our new intern the kitchen. 1.2255 0.04602 102 81 19 2
2879 If you are not Dr. Seuss or Maurice Sendak, go home ! 1.2255 0.04808 102 82 17 3
2880 Now that the scariest monster is here, we can finally begin. 1.2255 0.05196 102 84 13 5
2881 CARL, The word in the galaxy is Earth have best pizza! 1.2255 0.05380 102 85 11 6
2882 Please welcome our newest diversity outreach hire, Bill. 1.2255 0.04386 102 82 18 2
2883 Dan will lead us in our diversity training. He's not from AR, but from HR. 1.2255 0.04602 102 81 19 2
2884 Now, should we talk about the elephant in the room" 1.2255 0.04602 102 81 19 2
2885 Say hello to our new hire, Steve, who helps reach our goal with under-represented classes in management, but has the makings of a real monster. 1.2255 0.04158 102 83 17 2
2886 Meet Mr. Johnson. He doesn't celebrate Halloween 1.2255 0.04602 102 81 19 2
2887 Sure, nice suit. But now that we've had more experience with humans, do you honestly think we should make any more room for them at our rule-the-world table? 1.2255 0.04808 102 82 17 3
2888 He says he comes from a parallel universe where humans are in charge: Hah! 1.2255 0.05196 102 84 13 5
2889 ...And Darren here will provide invaluable demographic research from the warm-blooded market. 1.2255 0.04602 102 81 19 2
2890 Should he join us for lunch or as lunch? 1.2255 0.05196 102 84 13 5
2891 Raise your hands for the count - meat, chicken, or vegetarian! 1.2255 0.04808 102 82 17 3
2892 The suit is weird, but we can get used to it. 1.2255 0.05006 102 83 15 4
2893 But other than that, I think you'll find we pretty much think alike. 1.2255 0.04808 102 82 17 3
2894 Basically, what he's trying to tell us is we are being replaced by animation. No more movie roles. 1.2255 0.05006 102 83 15 4
2895 He has some good ideas despite the way he looks. 1.2255 0.04808 102 82 17 3
2896 Ark Force One will now be boarding 1.2255 0.05006 102 83 15 4
2897 We call this model: Secretary of Energy. 1.2255 0.05196 102 84 13 5
2898 Bob, we have a strict casual Friday policy." 1.2255 0.04602 102 81 19 2
2899 Once again, Tom forgot about casual Friday. 1.2255 0.05006 102 83 15 4
2900 Welcome to the cabinet. I promised the base I would drain the swamp. 1.2255 0.05196 102 84 13 5
2901 I’d like to introduce everyone to our new team member, Chuck. His interests include golf, line dancing, and not being eaten. 1.2255 0.04808 102 82 17 3
2902 Anyone here from out of town? 1.2255 0.04602 102 81 19 2
2903 Should we clarify that he IS the snack on this break? 1.2255 0.04602 102 81 19 2
2904 Little do they know, they think it’s the wolf on Wall Street that makes all the money 1.2255 0.05196 102 84 13 5
2905 And here is the new hire, Doug. He's an Affirmative Action hire. 1.2255 0.04808 102 82 17 3
2906 Trust me, he's a monster between the spreadsheets. 1.2255 0.04386 102 80 21 1
2907 He’s kind of sexy. Let’s let him stick around. 1.2255 0.04808 102 82 17 3
2908 Professors,your department chairman requests that you put your costumes back on before leaving the faculty meeting. 1.2255 0.04808 102 82 17 3
2909 Climate change summit is so last season, welcome to extinction club! 1.2255 0.05006 102 83 15 4
2910 Due to a change in our diversity policy, please welcome our new hire, Keith. 1.2255 0.04808 102 82 17 3
2911 Okay, so, raise your hand if you've ever felt overdressed. 1.2255 0.04602 102 81 19 2
2912 Now, get out there and have a ghoul day. 1.2255 0.05196 102 84 13 5
2913 Please welcome Bob, even though he's so odd looking. 1.2255 0.05006 102 83 15 4
2914 The work environment here is much less predatory than my last gig. 1.2255 0.04386 102 80 21 1
2915 H.R. calls it a homo sapien. But I call it a boy. A very talented boy. 1.2255 0.04808 102 82 17 3
2916 Good--lunch has arrived! 1.2255 0.04602 102 81 19 2
2917 double or nothing for the fleshy and medium-aged filet wearing the tie 1.2255 0.04808 102 82 17 3
2918 Whether you’re a reptile or amphibian, I think you’d agree that this gentleman would be a great addition to our organization. 1.2255 0.04808 102 82 17 3
2919 Can you believe it, we invested in e-cigarettes and now everyone treats us like monsters 1.2255 0.04808 102 82 17 3
2920 Let’s welcome our new director of Human Resources. 1.2255 0.04808 102 82 17 3
2921 Let's have a cold-blooded welcome for Mr. Savage- the new face of Human Resources. 1.2255 0.04808 102 82 17 3
2922 I know he looks weird but he is quite good with numbers. 1.2255 0.04808 102 82 17 3
2923 Who sent in HR? 1.2255 0.05196 102 84 13 5
2924 Please welcome John. He has no experience with interplanetary relations so he'll oversee our new Department of Interplanetary Relations. 1.2255 0.04808 102 82 17 3
2925 No, you've got the wrong room... this is the cabinet meeting. You're looking for Monsters, Inc. Down the hall and to the left. 1.2255 0.05006 102 83 15 4
2926 Okay, I thought we agreed not to make fun of people just because they look a little freaky! 1.2255 0.05196 102 84 13 5
2927 Ted here will be joining us for lunch. Who would like a leg? 1.2255 0.04386 102 80 21 1
2928 Simpson from HR is here to give us the Diversity Award 1.2255 0.04602 102 81 19 2
2929 Bob, The Meeting Memo said, "casual dress". Feel free to lose the tie. 1.2255 0.04602 102 81 19 2
2930 If we put him on the board we fulfill our diversity quota, otherwise we can just eat him. 1.2255 0.04808 102 82 17 3
2931 I need three volunteers for an impeachment dream. 1.2255 0.04808 102 82 17 3
2932 Everyone, this is Bob. I think he's going to fit right in. 1.2255 0.04386 102 80 21 1
2933 We need to put a human face on our corporate image. 1.2255 0.04808 102 82 17 3
2934 Everyone, let’s welcome our new Human Resources officer! 1.2255 0.04808 102 82 17 3
2935 This Thanks giving dinner is going to be a bit different 1.2255 0.05006 102 83 15 4
2936 All in favor of continuing Casual Friday say 'aye.' 1.2255 0.04808 102 82 17 3
2937 OK people, time to vote. Do we seat him or eat him? 1.2255 0.05006 102 83 15 4
2938 He's so cute! Who gets to eat him? 1.2255 0.04602 102 81 19 2
2939 Hi, I’m Doug! I have an outie. 1.2255 0.04808 102 82 17 3
2940 We are here today to discuss mom’s proposed clean out of my supposed “junk drawer” 1.2255 0.05006 102 83 15 4
2941 Let's all welcome today's speaker, who's here to chat with us about how to stand out in a crowd. 1.2255 0.04602 102 81 19 2
2942 Why Lou? Because the most heinous monster is man. 1.2255 0.04808 102 82 17 3
2943 So, you seven think our system is antiquated? 1.2255 0.04808 102 82 17 3
2944 Um...is that one of those humans that is ruining the earth ? 1.2255 0.04808 102 82 17 3
2945 Congratulations! We're ready to go public. And Herb here will help us all dress for success. 1.2255 0.04602 102 81 19 2
2946 ...so, I suggest we begin the meeting after lunch. 1.2255 0.04808 102 82 17 3
2947 Due to the complaints about species discrimination in our business, we are proud to introduce our first Human in the office. 1.2255 0.04386 102 80 21 1
2948 Good suggestion! Seven Impossible Burgers it is. 1.2255 0.05196 102 84 13 5
2949 usually we order out for lunch, but... 1.2255 0.05006 102 83 15 4
2950 James, your new skin is a bit outdated. 1.2252 0.04375 111 88 21 2
2951 This is Gene from Accounting, guys. His work is just out of the world. 1.2245 0.04707 98 78 18 2
2952 Next we'll hear from the monkey in the middle. 1.2237 0.05493 76 61 13 2
2953 Everyone welcome Dan, he’s a former Cabinet member. 1.2233 0.04962 103 84 15 4
2954 Three skinny lattes and four half calfs, please. 1.2233 0.04562 103 82 19 2
2955 This is Edgar, our new dance master, who will help us prepare for our debut in Dancing with the Stars 1.2222 0.06576 63 52 8 3
2956 Meet our new employee, he’ll be head of Human Resources. 1.2222 0.05087 99 81 14 4
2957 Now George, you know we’ve been working on diversity for some time! 1.2222 0.04438 99 78 20 1
2958 What are you crocing about? 1.2212 0.04725 104 84 17 3
2959 “Who wants serve as White House staff and who wants to be in the cabinet?” 1.2200 0.05041 100 82 14 4
2960 Gentlemen, I would like to introduce our new member, Adam. 1.2200 0.04837 100 81 16 3
2961 Bob is here for diversity training. His pronoun is Earthling. 1.2200 0.05238 100 83 12 5
2962 I've hired a consultant to tweak our dress code. 1.2200 0.04623 100 80 18 2
2963 Well it seems that all of the company’s budget has gone to total radical face and body transformation. The company is going to have to make some budget cuts this year.” “Thank you Frank, that’ll be all. 1.2200 0.04837 100 81 16 3
2964 Let's welcome Jason by not eating him. 1.2200 0.04399 100 79 20 1
2965 What did you exactly mean by “let’s have each other for lunch?” 1.2200 0.05238 100 83 12 5
2966 Jim's a scary dude. He wants to bundle secured car loans in a way that will make your skin crawl. 1.2200 0.05238 100 83 12 5
2967 So we're all agreed, no more Men in Black movies. 1.2200 0.04399 100 79 20 1
2968 I'm afraid I have to tell you that this is Mr. Lovely. He's here to facilitate our sensitivity training today. He is not lunch. 1.2200 0.05041 100 82 14 4
2969 Let's welcome another cold-blooded member to the board." 1.2200 0.04837 100 81 16 3
2970 Steve is going to give us a talk about thinking outside the box. 1.2200 0.04623 100 80 18 2
2971 Here's lunch! 1.2200 0.04837 100 81 16 3
2972 Everyone meet Al, he's a Republican. 1.2200 0.05041 100 82 14 4
2973 Meet our newest member. He talks at the movies. 1.2200 0.04623 100 80 18 2
2974 We all understand the value of diversity. 1.2200 0.04623 100 80 18 2
2975 Who invited the freak? 1.2200 0.04837 100 81 16 3
2976 John's our new diversity hire. 1.2200 0.04837 100 81 16 3
2977 In response to more diversity on our board, let me introduce Harold. 1.2200 0.04623 100 80 18 2
2978 I'd like you all to welcome Philip, our diversity hire. 1.2200 0.04837 100 81 16 3
2979 What planet are you from? 1.2200 0.04623 100 80 18 2
2980 I know you're all aware of the companies' call for more diversity on the Board. 1.2200 0.04837 100 81 16 3
2981 Uh... friends, Romans, and countrymen? 1.2200 0.05041 100 82 14 4
2982 This is James. He's joining the team as part of our diversity initiative. 1.2200 0.05041 100 82 14 4
2983 And we will now hear a report from the chair of the Diversity Committee. 1.2200 0.04837 100 81 16 3
2984 To think, some people actually say we're greedy monsters. 1.2200 0.04623 100 80 18 2
2985 We’re changing our motto to “Some Evil Is Ok.” 1.2200 0.04837 100 81 16 3
2986 On the way to extinct? We're all here now. 1.2200 0.05041 100 82 14 4
2987 This is Ted and he’s going to be walking us through the energy drink litigation. 1.2200 0.04623 100 80 18 2
2988 OK, OK, I know I look Stupid! 1.2200 0.04837 100 81 16 3
2989 Good news! Steve is feeling back to his old self again and will be rejoining the team. 1.2200 0.04399 100 79 20 1
2990 Whoever makes the best presentation gets the lunch. 1.2200 0.05041 100 82 14 4
2991 Everybody welcome our new Diversity Compliance Director... 1.2200 0.04399 100 79 20 1
2992 Welcome to phase-2 trials. No newcomers, I see.. 1.2200 0.05041 100 82 14 4
2993 Everyone, I'd like to introduce you to Norm. 1.2200 0.04623 100 80 18 2
2994 I like the League of Lizards, but I'm open to Super Weirds and The Things Under Your Kids' Beds." 1.2200 0.05041 100 82 14 4
2995 Keep in mind that if we do ultimately hire him, our clients will never see him. 1.2200 0.04837 100 81 16 3
2996 Say hello to Jim, our new diversity hire. 1.2200 0.04163 100 78 22 0
2997 Please greet the new Board member, who is replacing the one we just ate. 1.2200 0.04837 100 81 16 3
2998 I You are a special kind of moron — oxymorons, spineless fellow reptilians! 1.2200 0.04837 100 81 16 3
2999 I so appreciate all your hard work on blocking this impeachment inquiry. 1.2200 0.04399 100 79 20 1
3000 Yes,I know he's strange but we have been told we need diversity. 1.2200 0.04623 100 80 18 2
3001 So, this is Carl. I hired him because I thought we could use a bit of the human touch around here. 1.2200 0.05041 100 82 14 4
3002 Great costume, Hank 1.2200 0.04837 100 81 16 3
3003 Oh my Gosh an immigrant! I guess the wall wasn’t high enough. 1.2200 0.05041 100 82 14 4
3004 Thanks you, Bill! Now the rest of you... Does anyone else have a monster idea?! 1.2200 0.04837 100 81 16 3
3005 Fellas, this is Max. Max, welcome to Where the Wild Things Are Claims Adjusters. 1.2200 0.04837 100 81 16 3
3006 Bob will bring so much needed diversity to our team. 1.2200 0.04837 100 81 16 3
3007 The next extinction event is going to be BIG! 1.2200 0.04837 100 81 16 3
3008 Introducing Norm - he's still in his larval stage 1.2200 0.05238 100 83 12 5
3009 We braten John here to add a little diversity to the board 1.2200 0.04623 100 80 18 2
3010 I know he looks totally unbelievable, but we could market the film as sci-fi. 1.2200 0.04399 100 79 20 1
3011 Do doubt he wins the “most original Halloween costume” Award! 1.2200 0.04837 100 81 16 3
3012 This is Archibald. He comes from the land down under. 1.2200 0.04837 100 81 16 3
3013 We all agreed we needed to diversify our board. Let me introduce Gary.... 1.2200 0.04837 100 81 16 3
3014 The President requested total deniability - hence, this meeting. 1.2200 0.04837 100 81 16 3
3015 This is David from the mailroom. He’ll be joining us for lunch today. 1.2200 0.04837 100 81 16 3
3016 I know he’s small, but they assured me he’s very tasty. 1.2200 0.04837 100 81 16 3
3017 There's an opening for each of you on the President's cabinet 1.2200 0.05041 100 82 14 4
3018 Thank you, Mr. Lizard, for the privilege of serving under your excellent cold blooded new swamp administration 1.2200 0.04623 100 80 18 2
3019 So, I went to a different stylist that you all.... 1.2200 0.04837 100 81 16 3
3020 No, we'll be substituting the pork for beef. 1.2200 0.04837 100 81 16 3
3021 Now that Giuliani is finally looking for a lawyer, I want to make our firm’s position absolutely clear ..... 1.2200 0.04837 100 81 16 3
3022 I’d like to introduce our new Manager of Diversity. 1.2200 0.04837 100 81 16 3
3023 I know he looks repulsive, but we have to show diversity in hiring... 1.2200 0.04399 100 79 20 1
3024 Is there an elephant in the room? 1.2200 0.04399 100 79 20 1
3025 For the millionth consecutive year, we are going to continue our strategy of survival. 1.2200 0.04623 100 80 18 2
3026 By a show of claws, we vote to allow the alien to monitor the meeting. 1.2200 0.04837 100 81 16 3
3027 Well, I'm all for diversity, but who needs stupidity? 1.2200 0.04513 100 82 15 3
3028 The night Max wore his business suit... 1.2200 0.04837 100 81 16 3
3029 Although its not mandatory, the suggested costume for the Halloween board meeting is like the one my assistant, Harriet on my left, is wearing. 1.2200 0.05238 100 83 12 5
3030 Mel will be joining the firm. Which one of you wants to run for his house seat ? 1.2200 0.05238 100 83 12 5
3031 Members, I'd like you to meet Ralph, our diversity hire. 1.2200 0.04399 100 79 20 1
3032 I think he can be a real disrupter in our space 1.2200 0.04837 100 81 16 3
3033 All in favor say 'hi'. 1.2200 0.04623 100 82 15 3
3034 This is Mr. Jenkins, our new marketing director. It was his idea to storm Area 51. 1.2200 0.05041 100 82 14 4
3035 Who, among you have "aged in place" and how many of you are more than 3 million years old? 1.2200 0.04837 100 81 16 3
3036 This is our human resource manager for workforce diversity. 1.2200 0.04623 100 80 18 2
3037 Would someone mind getting up and letting this alien sit down? 1.2200 0.04623 100 80 18 2
3038 I thought we had eaten the last one” 1.2200 0.04623 100 80 18 2
3039 After all those silly movies we are going to get serious. 1.2200 0.04837 100 81 16 3
3040 It seems to me this guy, looking for a job. is just to ugly to join our firm. 1.2200 0.04623 100 80 18 2
3041 Just to let you know, no one told Frank it was alien dress up day. 1.2200 0.05238 100 83 12 5
3042 He is too alien for this space 1.2200 0.05238 100 83 12 5
3043 He's my mentor. 1.2200 0.04623 100 80 18 2
3044 Don't look so worried, he says that the dinosaurs destroyed the Earth 1.2200 0.04623 100 80 18 2
3045 So it's decided, at midnight we kill all the lawyers. 1.2200 0.05041 100 82 14 4
3046 ¨I´d like to introduce you to my butler. Don´t worry, he won´t bite.¨ 1.2200 0.05041 100 82 14 4
3047 Get a load of this guy, he shows up late and he's still wearing his Halloween costume! 1.2200 0.04399 100 79 20 1
3048 Hor d'ourvres anyone? 1.2200 0.04399 100 79 20 1
3049 Can he, with mentoring, earn a place at our table? 1.2200 0.04399 100 79 20 1
3050 Welcome to this months Charles Addams rejects support group meeting 1.2200 0.05238 100 83 12 5
3051 Steven is here to help us think through our dress code 1.2200 0.04623 100 79 18 2
3052 Our debts are growing, our sales are falling, and our product stinks. On the bright side, we've nailed the diversity thing. 1.2200 0.05238 100 83 12 5
3053 Give us some pizza with everything on it. 1.2200 0.04399 100 79 20 1
3054 Our CEO thinks we should diversify our committee. 1.2200 0.04399 100 79 20 1
3055 Looks like the “eyes” have it. We’ll let you go. 1.2200 0.05238 100 83 12 5
3056 Now Sheldon will tally our Halloween numbers and declare a winner! 1.2200 0.04623 100 80 18 2
3057 With a seat at the table he might look less ominous to us 1.2200 0.04837 100 81 16 3
3058 I want to thank Frank from Human Resources for joining us – now let's have lunch. 1.2200 0.04837 100 81 16 3
3059 If we let Earth join our group, can you guarantee the whole planet will get naked? 1.2200 0.04399 100 79 20 1
3060 The latest thing in the scare world is a deputy assistant undersecretary from the Deep State. 1.2200 0.04837 100 81 16 3
3061 Everyone, this is Michael. He’ll be our lunch today. 1.2200 0.04399 100 79 20 1
3062 Now Bob from HR will report on how our employees see us. 1.2200 0.04399 100 79 20 1
3063 I can assure you, Bill is extremely qualified and Felicity Huffman had nothing to do with my selecting him. 1.2200 0.04399 100 79 20 1
3064 Believe me, accountants are the worst monsters. 1.2200 0.04837 100 81 16 3
3065 Erwin will now present a slideshow on how we plan to refill the swamp. 1.2178 0.04996 101 83 14 4
3066 It’s official. The human wins the Ugly Contest again! 1.2178 0.04794 101 82 16 3
3067 This meeting of the High Council of Unruly Monsters will come to order. The unfortunate Mr. Smythe will serve as Parliamentarian. 1.2178 0.04582 101 81 18 2
3068 This is our new head of PR, the fact that he has an actual camera will do wonders for our image. 1.2165 0.05124 97 80 13 4
3069 We need to talk about the elephant in the room. 1.2165 0.04687 97 78 17 2
3070 WHO asked Ron from accounting to come? 1.2165 0.04910 97 79 15 3
3071 I told you boardroom diversity was a priority. 1.2165 0.04687 97 78 17 2
3072 I called this meeting today to let you all know that Dale is in after cooking fish in the office microwave. Sorry Erglenorf, you're out. 1.2165 0.04910 97 79 15 3
3073 Howard is our screenwriter. He'll work for a piece of the back-end gross, with no points on the merchandising. 1.2165 0.04910 97 79 15 3
3074 Welcome to BBDO NY. 1.2165 0.04910 97 79 15 3
3075 Maybe not the boardroom but Karl is a freak in the bedroom. 1.2165 0.04687 97 78 17 2
3076 Isn't it nice for Sam to come visit us from Corporate. 1.2165 0.04910 97 79 15 3
3077 Anyone want to address the human in the room? 1.2165 0.04203 97 76 21 0
3078 This feels all alien to me. 1.2165 0.05330 97 81 11 5
3079 Looks like there's an elephant in the room. 1.2165 0.04687 97 78 17 2
3080 What's that thing with the jacket and tie? 1.2165 0.04452 97 77 19 1
3081 De gustibus non est disputandum, dudes and dudettes! 1.2165 0.04687 97 78 17 2
3082 We've decided, you are banned, too odd! 1.2165 0.04910 97 79 15 3
3083 Let me introduce our new Human Resources manager. 1.2165 0.04687 97 78 17 2
3084 Do you have extra copies of your resume’ ? 1.2165 0.04452 97 77 19 1
3085 The meeting of the Female Woman Haters Club will come to order. 1.2165 0.05124 97 80 13 4
3086 This is Horace - he represents planet Trump. Whatever you do, don’t laugh... 1.2165 0.05330 97 81 11 5
3087 We've brought you together as a think tank model. 1.2165 0.04687 97 78 17 2
3088 What does this weirdo want? 1.2165 0.04687 97 78 17 2
3089 I'd like to introduce Ed, who has a lot of ideas to save us a few bucks. 1.2165 0.04687 97 78 17 2
3090 You are certainly welcome under our diversity policy, but I must remind you that our bylaws clearly state “ sans clothing” 1.2165 0.04910 97 79 15 3
3091 So I said, "Chew with your mouth open, not like a man!" 1.2165 0.04452 97 77 19 1
3092 Ah, here’s our lunch. 1.2165 0.05124 97 80 13 4
3093 We'll try the nature platter. 1.2165 0.04687 97 78 17 2
3094 I see lunch order will be a problem! 1.2165 0.04687 97 78 17 2
3095 So, the takeaway from this meeting is to make sure you share with all our stakeholders that 'perception is reality.' 1.2165 0.04910 97 79 15 3
3096 Then it's settled. We'll do the Monster Mash. 1.2165 0.04910 97 79 15 3
3097 He might look normal, but just wait and see what’s in his head. 1.2165 0.04910 97 79 15 3
3098 OK we agree. Now, let's have the Uber guy take us to lunch. 1.2165 0.04687 97 78 17 2
3099 Let's all be Humans here... 1.2165 0.05124 97 80 13 4
3100 You asked for a diversified board 1.2165 0.04687 97 78 17 2
3101 Now, Grumpus, let's remember our sensitivity training. 1.2165 0.05124 97 80 13 4
3102 Looks aren't everything. Let's give the kid a chance. 1.2165 0.04452 97 77 19 1
3103 Hmm, another diversity hire. 1.2165 0.04687 97 78 17 2
3104 Everyone, this is Sheldon. He's our new head of Human Resources. 1.2165 0.04452 97 77 19 1
3105 Steve, we have the conference room until 3. And it's a closed door meeting. 1.2165 0.04687 97 78 17 2
3106 His torture techniques include : centuries of oppression, mansplaining, and not asking for directions. 1.2165 0.04687 97 78 17 2
3107 Say hello to our dessert everyone, Mr Rocky Road 1.2165 0.04910 97 79 15 3
3108 I would like to thank everything for making it to this weeks' diversity meeting. 1.2165 0.04910 97 79 15 3
3109 WHERE DID YOU DIG HIM UP? 1.2165 0.04687 97 78 17 2
3110 Hello, my demons. I have gathered you here today to discuss future strategies for damaging my emotional wellbeing. 1.2165 0.05124 97 80 13 4
3111 Hello fellow Halloween costumes that didn't sell this year. Please welcome Josh, the guy responsible for mandating Christmas music in stores before Halloween. 1.2165 0.04687 97 78 17 2
3112 Everyone please welcome our diversity hire. 1.2165 0.04452 97 77 19 1
3113 Welcome diversity committee 1.2165 0.04687 97 78 17 2
3114 Remember, we're just ordinary guys doing an ordinary job. 1.2165 0.04452 97 77 19 1
3115 Larry is here to lead today's diversity sensitivity training session. 1.2165 0.04452 97 77 19 1
3116 like it or not, our corporate culture is one of affirmative action. 1.2165 0.04452 97 77 19 1
3117 We are glad to announce, John here has accepted the position as Director of Community Life, Diversity and Inclusion. 1.2165 0.04452 97 77 19 1
3118 The next agenda item is our diversity policy. 1.2165 0.04452 97 77 19 1
3119 Let's tell the shareholders it's going to be a monster year 1.2165 0.04910 97 79 15 3
3120 Let's welcome our new Diversity Officer. 1.2165 0.04687 97 78 17 2
3121 We said it was a casual dinner...you did not have to dress up 1.2165 0.04910 97 79 15 3
3122 Larry here is our new intern from earth. Don't eat him. 1.2165 0.04687 97 78 17 2
3123 I suppose you all wonder who called this meeting. 1.2165 0.04452 97 77 19 1
3124 Welcome to this meeting of the university's diversity committee. The chancellor is here to take your coffee orders. 1.2165 0.04452 97 77 19 1
3125 Now I don't care if you're a Democrat or Republican; we're all going to get along. 1.2165 0.04687 97 78 17 2
3126 And Ben here now has the monstrous task of presenting our annual budget. 1.2165 0.04452 97 77 19 1
3127 Best Costume Award goes to . . . MARK! 1.2165 0.04687 97 78 17 2
3128 Greet our new member of the diversity committee 1.2165 0.05124 97 80 13 4
3129 Those of us seated here, with the possible exception of the thing to my right, can be thankful that we are not the species responsible for global warming, the deforestation of the Amazon, Chernobyl or the Electoral College. 1.2165 0.05124 97 80 13 4
3130 And let’s all welcome Wart. Finally, some true diversity on the board. 1.2165 0.04687 97 78 17 2
3131 This here is Raymond, and I'd like to know if he is a yeah or a nay to have as our afternoon lunch? 1.2165 0.04910 97 79 15 3
3132 So, what shall we call ourselves? 1.2165 0.04452 97 77 19 1
3133 The Republicans win because they have a better image than us. 1.2165 0.04910 97 79 15 3
3134 Are you here for the intergalactic kegger? 1.2165 0.04452 97 77 19 1
3135 Ah, let’s break for lunch, everyone! 1.2165 0.05124 97 80 13 4
3136 Please join me in welcoming Dave, our new Diversity Manager. 1.2165 0.04687 97 78 17 2
3137 Just your regular White House Cabinet meeting 1.2165 0.04687 97 78 17 2
3138 Some of you won’t be at the next meeting 1.2165 0.04687 97 78 17 2
3139 All right then. Where is the turtle? 1.2165 0.04452 97 77 19 1
3140 I’m Jerry with Human Resources 1.2165 0.05124 97 80 13 4
3141 We here at Nightmare Alley need to extend a big welcome to the president's latest child snatcher. 1.2165 0.05528 97 82 9 6
3142 I gotta idea that has legs. 1.2165 0.04687 97 78 17 2
3143 I’ve finally made it to the Where the Wild Things Are council meeting! Now, which one of you is the current US president? 1.2165 0.05330 97 81 11 5
3144 And now let me introduce you to the worst monster of them all — Barry Schwarz, our lawyer. 1.2165 0.04910 97 79 15 3
3145 Jim is joining the board, and he will soon be just like one of us. 1.2165 0.04687 97 78 17 2
3146 Who’s that guy dressed as a waiter? Great costume! 1.2165 0.04687 97 78 17 2
3147 Meet Glen, our new ET Director. 1.2165 0.05124 97 80 13 4
3148 I'd like to welcome the new Acting Secretary of Trump's Department of Space. 1.2165 0.05124 97 80 13 4
3149 Meet the new monster. He’s called appall-itician. 1.2165 0.05124 97 80 13 4
3150 Our new social media manager will finally get us trolls. 1.2165 0.04687 97 78 17 2
3151 For this evening's entertainment, we have an impressionist who will lead us in "Name That Planet. 1.2154 0.06390 65 54 8 3
3152 When the edibles hit at the wrong time 1.2143 0.04644 98 79 17 2
3153 I want to introduce our new Chief Diversity Officer. 1.2143 0.04412 98 78 19 1
3154 Greg comes from one of the top hedge funds. 1.2143 0.04865 98 80 15 3
3155 Ok, shall we vote on the new inclusivity policy? 1.2143 0.04412 98 78 19 1
3156 These lame contests and winning captions suck 1.2143 0.04644 98 79 17 2
3157 Let’s break for lunch. Sandwiches or something a little more lively? 1.2143 0.04412 98 78 19 1
3158 So, do we agree that humans are the weirdest? 1.2143 0.04644 98 79 17 2
3159 Is there a motion to accept the minutes? 1.2136 0.04503 103 83 18 2
3160 This is our newest board member; please excuse his unorthodox appearance, he is not a dumb as he looks. 1.2133 0.05787 75 62 10 3
3161 It seems to me that our new employee, Mr. Stuffedshirt, has not read our orientation package. 1.2133 0.05467 75 61 12 2
3162 We've decided that you're not a scary enough boss. 1.2133 0.06090 75 63 8 4
3163 Hats off to our diversity inclusion manager! Good job, Fred! 1.2121 0.04602 99 80 17 2
3164 I'd like to welcome Fred Matthews to the board. As you may have noticed, he's a HUMAN. 1.2105 0.04463 95 76 18 1
3165 Let me introduce Harold who will be heading up the diversity committee. 1.2105 0.04708 95 77 16 2
3166 Please join me in welcoming our new Chief Diversity Officer. 1.2105 0.04708 95 77 16 2
3167 Now that we have every department together, let's see if we can solve this company-wide problem in 30 minutes 1.2105 0.05161 95 79 12 4
3168 You should have seen him crying and whimpering 1.2105 0.04940 95 78 14 3
3169 I propose that no human be permitted to attend these meetings, whose specie has done nothing but destroy the natural environment we need to survive 1.2105 0.05161 95 79 12 4
3170 And here now is our special guest with our lunch presentation 1.2105 0.04940 95 78 14 3
3171 I invited dinner...I meant Ron over... 1.2105 0.04708 95 77 16 2
3172 Dressing like a human. That’s some Halloween costume. 1.2105 0.05161 95 79 12 4
3173 Alright...you're under the bed, you've got the closet, and I'll hide under the stairs. 1.2105 0.05161 95 79 12 4
3174 He's from ICE and thinks one of us maybe illegal. 1.2105 0.04940 95 78 14 3
3175 I'm assuming we're all vegetarians. 1.2105 0.04463 95 76 18 1
3176 They’re saying our diversity and inclusion initiative has gone too far. 1.2105 0.04708 95 77 16 2
3177 He calls himself "Jared" and he's here to negotiate inter-planetary peace. 1.2105 0.05161 95 79 12 4
3178 All in favor of including Earthlings in the next Star Wars trilogy...? 1.2105 0.05161 95 79 12 4
3179 Before we end your interview,what can you bring to the table? 1.2105 0.04205 95 75 20 0
3180 Meet Henry, the first step in our long-overdue diversity program. 1.2105 0.04940 95 78 14 3
3181 The Coalition of Aquatic Biodiversity Centenary Summit is pleased to have a representative today who will humanplain just why all the seas have been desalinized for their now arid habitats. 1.2105 0.04940 95 78 14 3
3182 No Smith, Johnson is here from HR to talk about body shaming, we’ll be him eating later 1.2097 0.06143 62 51 9 2
3183 Our consultant is quite the outsider. 1.2083 0.04893 96 79 14 3
3184 But if we accept it we'll be like a damned menagerie. 1.2083 0.04893 96 79 14 3
3185 Todd is the new head of human resources. 1.2083 0.05112 96 80 12 4
3186 He's the new diversity hire. 1.2083 0.04663 96 78 16 2
3187 Let's change voters' perceptions about the Swamp. 1.2083 0.05112 96 80 12 4
3188 He's provided by Behemoth's deli. 1.2083 0.04663 96 78 16 2
3189 This is our attorney. Don't let his appearance spook you. 1.2083 0.04167 96 76 20 0
3190 The best Halloween costume goes to,.....ET!" "Yes, you can phone home! 1.2083 0.04663 96 78 16 2
3191 Nobody laugh. I told him we were having him for lunch. 1.2083 0.05112 96 80 12 4
3192 Earthlings still wear clothes?? 1.2083 0.04663 96 78 16 2
3193 Ahhh. Lunch is here. 1.2083 0.04422 96 77 18 1
3194 I decided we needed more diversity 1.2083 0.04422 96 77 18 1
3195 I can assure you all that despite Philip's relation to Felicity Huffman, he's actually a real diversity/affirmative action hire. 1.2083 0.05112 96 80 12 4
3196 Gentlemen, lunch has arrived. 1.2083 0.05112 96 80 12 4
3197 I’m sorry I called your friends ordinary. 1.2083 0.04422 96 77 18 1
3198 Try not to stare. He’s a bit unusual looking! 1.2083 0.04663 96 78 16 2
3199 Please give a warm welcome to our new Non-Alien Director 1.2083 0.04422 96 77 18 1
3200 This is Larry from HR. He’s here to clarify the proper procedures of invading, abducting and most importantly, probing. 1.2083 0.04663 96 78 16 2
3201 Webley, control yourself, this is our new intern, not our lunch order. 1.2083 0.04893 96 79 14 3
3202 So, we’re here today to discuss the value of diversity in our company . 1.2083 0.04893 96 79 14 3
3203 And the winner is ! 1.2083 0.04422 96 77 18 1
3204 Here comes the main course 1.2083 0.04422 96 77 18 1
3205 'There's no way that we are going to reach a clear majority.' 1.2083 0.04663 96 78 16 2
3206 No, you can't eat Giles. Do you know how hard it is to find and keep a decent human servant? 1.2083 0.05112 96 80 12 4
3207 Is there no common denominator? 1.2083 0.04893 96 79 14 3
3208 I'd like to present... our lunch! 1.2083 0.04893 96 79 14 3
3209 Who invited that guy? 1.2083 0.04422 96 77 18 1
3210 Welcome our new Secretary of State... 1.2083 0.04663 96 78 16 2
3211 What? We ARE all alike!! 1.2083 0.04893 96 79 14 3
3212 Corey is barbecuing hot dogs tonight! 1.2083 0.04893 96 79 14 3
3213 We'll all have the vegetarian prixe-fixe, please. 1.2083 0.04893 96 79 14 3
3214 When you said you were going to diversify this meeting, I didn't think you would bring an Homosapien 1.2083 0.05112 96 80 12 4
3215 I know, I know, but we've got to change our image if we want to flip the House back next year. 1.2083 0.04663 96 78 16 2
3216 We've hired Larry as part of our new equal-opportunity program. 1.2083 0.04663 96 78 16 2
3217 I thought we could use some new species on the board - 1.2083 0.04663 96 78 16 2
3218 What PAC voted him on the board? 1.2083 0.04663 96 78 16 2
3219 Dave is from Human Resources 1.2083 0.04167 96 81 11 3
3220 Monsters of Mergers and Acquisitions​ 1.2083 0.04663 96 78 16 2
3221 Lunch break! The watch is mine. 1.2083 0.04893 96 79 14 3
3222 Guess what? He want's to join our Only Weirdos club. 1.2083 0.04422 96 79 12 3
3223 And now to explain why his division had a .3% drop in revenue this quarter, we'll hear from Bill. Then I suggest we break for lunch. 1.2083 0.04893 96 79 14 3
3224 I felt like I was in a cartoon. 1.2083 0.04167 96 76 20 0
3225 Shall we convene to the bar? 1.2083 0.04663 96 78 16 2
3226 Who invited the alien? 1.2083 0.04663 96 78 16 2
3227 Let's call this meeting to order. I'll have the guy in the suit. 1.2083 0.05524 96 82 8 6
3228 It's a good diversity effort but we still need a non-binary slurf. 1.2083 0.04422 96 77 18 1
3229 I think we’d better see the menu 1.2083 0.04893 96 79 14 3
3230 Kendrick here has been brought in to solve the dress code problem 1.2083 0.04893 96 79 14 3
3231 Our new consultant is going to help improve our image. 1.2083 0.04893 96 79 14 3
3232 .. And lastly I'd like to introduce Dave, who will be joining our lunch meeting.. " 1.2083 0.04422 96 77 18 1
3233 Your presentation is spotty at best. 1.2083 0.05112 96 80 12 4
3234 Obviously, he hasn't received the email on the dress code! 1.2083 0.04663 96 78 16 2
3235 Okay, how many in favor of a wall? How many in favor of a moat? 1.2083 0.05524 96 82 8 6
3236 the earth is not for us 1.2083 0.04167 96 76 20 0
3237 Let me introduce our new diversity chief. 1.2083 0.04422 96 77 18 1
3238 Anyone from last time extinct? 1.2083 0.04422 96 77 18 1
3239 That was a PERFECT phone call! 1.2083 0.04893 96 79 14 3
3240 Steve walked into his meeting, greeting the others as he calmly walks towards his seat. He takes off his realistic human-like mask. Halloween is now over. He doesn't need to look scary anymore. The fresh air feels great on his scaly, red skin. 1.2083 0.04893 96 79 14 3
3241 This is Dave, from Unhuman Resources. 1.2083 0.04663 96 78 16 2
3242 Welcome to our first “Workplace Diversity” meeting. 1.2083 0.04167 96 76 20 0
3243 I don't want anyone to think of Paul as just a diversity hire. 1.2083 0.04422 96 77 18 1
3244 Okay, let's break for lunch. 1.2083 0.04167 96 76 20 0
3245 Hey, people are monsters too. 1.2083 0.04663 96 78 16 2
3246 We've taken a vote. You should be the next species to go extinct. 1.2083 0.04893 96 79 14 3
3247 Meet our newest board member. Diversity runs both ways. 1.2083 0.04422 96 77 18 1
3248 Sorry I'm late. I was getting my body suit on, but now I see this is a imformal meeting. 1.2083 0.04167 96 76 20 0
3249 Motion carried, now let's eat the guy in the suit for lunch! 1.2083 0.04893 96 79 14 3
3250 I guess I ‘m the odd man out. 1.2083 0.05112 96 80 12 4
3251 More diversity? Okay then, let’s vote: do we stop eating all the remaining worthy white males or not? 1.2083 0.04893 96 79 14 3
3252 His name is salt. 1.2083 0.04893 96 79 14 3
3253 Everyone, this is Fred. He's going to bring some much-needed diversity to the board. 1.2083 0.04422 96 77 18 1
3254 There's a seat for everyone at the table. 1.2083 0.04893 96 79 14 3
3255 I tell you, he is just the agent to get us out of these quirky side-kick roles. 1.2083 0.05112 96 80 12 4
3256 I thought we were dressing up for Hallowe2.c0baa884-6617-46c9-8a46-84407c7d0722.1572487164.1 1.2083 0.04422 96 77 18 1
3257 True ghouls carring cabinet gruel--not welcommed--that's the rule! 1.2083 0.04422 96 77 18 1
3258 Does anyone know this freak standing here? 1.2083 0.04663 96 78 16 2
3259 The food committee will come to order 1.2083 0.04663 96 78 16 2
3260 Who is the weird looking freak in the suit? 1.2083 0.05112 96 80 12 4
3261 We have to be careful - The public is becoming more and more aware of the Washington Swamp.... 1.2083 0.04893 96 79 14 3
3262 He is our new head of Human Resources. 1.2083 0.04663 96 78 16 2
3263 You guys think you have it hard finding a mate, I live in New York 1.2083 0.04893 96 79 14 3
3264 Can I tell you about our specials? 1.2083 0.04422 96 77 18 1
3265 No no you’re welcome here. We’re all about the diversity thing. 1.2083 0.04663 96 78 16 2
3266 Who wants a new appetizer...er...assistant? 1.2083 0.04422 96 77 18 1
3267 Minority representation is everything...seriously! 1.2083 0.04893 96 79 14 3
3268 And when we adjourn, as a special treat, Fred will provide our lunch. 1.2083 0.04893 96 79 14 3
3269 I'm afraid no one will take us seriously as monsters these days unless we eat someone. 1.2083 0.04893 96 79 14 3
3270 I would like to introduce you to Jim. He will be leading the earth trasition team. 1.2083 0.04663 96 78 16 2
3271 Mr. President, we’re really scraping the bottom off the barrel now. 1.2083 0.04663 96 78 16 2
3272 I know you guys liked Zonkoid, but I think Bill will be a better fit. 1.2083 0.04422 96 77 18 1
3273 is it a little warm in here, or am I in the wrong century? 1.2083 0.04167 96 76 20 0
3274 When I said we needed a minority board member, I didn't mean a white male! 1.2083 0.04663 96 78 16 2
3275 Board Members, he wants to know what happened to the previous board. 1.2083 0.04663 96 78 16 2
3276 I’ve invited you all here to discuss another Star War’s bar scene. 1.2083 0.04422 96 77 18 1
3277 Yeah, we've been waiting 20 minutes for menus. Maybe some crackers in a barrel to snack on? 1.2083 0.04663 96 78 16 2
3278 Our guest speaker’s topic is diversity . 1.2083 0.05322 96 81 10 5
3279 I agree. Humans are just plain ugly. 1.2083 0.05112 96 80 12 4
3280 HR is here to congratulate the Board on achieving our Diversity hiring goals. 1.2083 0.04893 96 79 14 3
3281 We want to emphasize Mike wasn't a diversity hire 1.2083 0.04663 96 78 16 2
3282 Introducing: The really weird guy! 1.2083 0.04663 96 78 16 2
3283 The suit wants to know if we'd come back to work at the CDC lab. I say he's lunch. 1.2083 0.04893 96 79 14 3
3284 This is Hubert, our token human. 1.2083 0.04663 96 78 16 2
3285 And now, the representative from planet Earth. 1.2083 0.04422 96 77 18 1
3286 We're most proud of our transformative training program. 1.2083 0.04422 96 77 18 1
3287 Let's welcome Joe. He's from Earth. 1.2083 0.04422 96 77 18 1
3288 This is Mark, our new Director of Diversity. Let's try not to eat this one. 1.2083 0.05322 96 81 10 5
3289 Why did you think they called it the dragon's den? 1.2083 0.04663 96 78 16 2
3290 He thought it was Murder, Not Monsters Inc. 1.2083 0.04422 96 77 18 1
3291 Welcome to the presidential cabinet 1.2083 0.04663 96 78 16 2
3292 Hello Steve. I’m Donald Trump. Big guy’s Judge Kavanaugh. And flat face to my left here is Mike Pence. I don’t remember the other names. Your membership fee is $5 billion. 1.2083 0.05524 96 82 8 6
3293 Listen team. You don't eat this guy, my boss sees I can manage you. I get a big raise. You all get HUGE year-end bonuses. Deal? I hear humans call this a 'squid fro toe'. Or something like that. 1.2083 0.05322 96 81 10 5
3294 Sir, let me introduce you to the members of The Ought To Be Extinct Society. 1.2083 0.04663 96 78 16 2
3295 You all, this is Bob from the Human Resources. 1.2083 0.04663 96 78 16 2
3296 It's called posthumanism, a complete cyborg is joining our team. 1.2083 0.04893 96 79 14 3
3297 All in favor of admitting Bob to the Diversity Club, signify by grunting ‘aye’. 1.2083 0.05112 96 80 12 4
3298 He's 'Suitsie,'on every box of our new "People Crackers.'" 1.2083 0.04422 96 77 18 1
3299 Finally found the right rabbit hole! 1.2065 0.04244 92 73 19 0
3300 Nice of Noah to give the Ark a five-star dining room. 1.2065 0.04773 92 75 15 2
3301 Alright then, the municipal council of Roswell New Mexico will come to order and vote on Mr. Bellamy's petition. 1.2065 0.05017 92 76 13 3
3302 In accordance with our new inclusion policy, I would like to introduce you to our newest board member, Jared Smithers. In related business, please note that humans have been removed as options on our lunch menu. 1.2065 0.04773 92 75 15 2
3303 Get a load of this one. What a dinosaur. 1.2065 0.05017 92 76 13 3
3304 Larry here will highlight 'drain the swamp' on the Sunday shows. And infrastructure. 1.2065 0.04773 92 75 15 2
3305 Fellas ... who's the freak? 1.2065 0.04516 92 74 17 1
3306 I'd like you all to meet Chet, he was in upper management at Amazon. 1.2065 0.04773 92 75 15 2
3307 "All right, the meeting shall come to order. Who wants to volunteer to be secretary?" 1.2065 0.05017 92 76 13 3
3308 And he never tips waiters. Michael's earned his spot. 1.2065 0.05017 92 76 13 3
3309 As you are all aware, several positions have opened up in the presidents cabinet. 1.2065 0.05017 92 76 13 3
3310 I’d like to introduce our new diversity consultant. 1.2065 0.05017 92 76 13 3
3311 And now for the final part of his initiation into the Illuminate, Mr. Gates will shapeshift into the species of his choosing. 1.2065 0.05250 92 77 11 4
3312 Here's one! What do you do with an elephant who has 3 balls on him?....Walk him and pitch to the crocodile! 1.2065 0.05017 92 76 13 3
3313 Oh good, our business man appetizer has arrived. Lets dig in! 1.2065 0.05017 92 76 13 3
3314 We met while i was under his bed, and now we cant imagine not being together. 1.2065 0.04516 92 74 17 1
3315 I'd like to introduce, Marvin. He'll take your lunch orders. Just don't eat him. 1.2065 0.05250 92 77 11 4
3316 The Star Wars bar is more fun than this conference table. 1.2065 0.04773 92 75 15 2
3317 It's one of those "pick six guests, alive or not, you'd most like at your next dinner party." 1.2065 0.04773 92 75 15 2
3318 This is Gary. He's part of our new diversity program. Please don't eat him. 1.2065 0.04516 92 74 17 1
3319 Where are the "men in black" when you need them? 1.2065 0.05250 92 77 11 4
3320 We need to think outside the box. 1.2065 0.04516 92 74 17 1
3321 Let's all thank Nick for the shine he brought to our table. 1.2065 0.05473 92 78 9 5
3322 Friends, today we're welcoming Ted. I know he's kind of weird and different, so let's all try extra hard to make him feel welcome! 1.2065 0.04773 92 75 15 2
3323 I'd like to preface this introduction by reminding you all of our superb reputation for nondescrimination. 1.2065 0.04773 92 75 15 2
3324 I gathered you all here today to tell you I'm draining the swamp and you're all fired. 1.2065 0.05687 92 79 7 6
3325 All those in favor of eating the CEO say aye. 1.2065 0.04516 92 74 17 1
3326 Listen, you asked for a shark, and this is the best I could do with a day's notice. 1.2065 0.05017 92 76 13 3
3327 I would like you to meet Bert, our token humanoid. 1.2065 0.04773 92 75 15 2
3328 He's from a new group called human resources. 1.2065 0.04516 92 76 14 2
3329 I'm starting a podcast. 1.2065 0.04773 92 75 15 2
3330 After recusing himself from the “Earth-invasion” vote, Bob awkwardly exits the conference room. 1.2065 0.05017 92 76 13 3
3331 No claws on the table, Jeremy! 1.2065 0.04516 92 74 17 1
3332 Well, looks like lunch is here! 1.2065 0.05017 92 76 13 3
3333 So then I thought, if you want to battle lawyers, you have to become one. 1.2065 0.05473 92 78 9 5
3334 I know it's hideous, but we have to get serious about meeting our diversity quota 1.2065 0.05017 92 76 13 3
3335 Just because we don't agree, it doesn't mean you have to leave with your tail between your legs. 1.2065 0.05017 92 76 13 3
3336 Hold on a minute, everybody - the weird dude wants to talk. 1.2065 0.04516 92 74 17 1
3337 Now that there's no elephant in the room, let's get started.... 1.2065 0.04516 92 74 17 1
3338 This meeting for Star Wars bar scene cast members will now come to order. 1.2065 0.05250 92 77 11 4
3339 Who's a cube rat now, Harold? 1.2065 0.04516 92 74 17 1
3340 All my personalities coming together to make a decision 1.2065 0.05473 92 78 9 5
3341 Hello fellow monster men and women, this is the new taste tester for our new product, donut pizza. Since the last one, well you know. 1.2065 0.05250 92 77 11 4
3342 I care about diversity too but we can't lower our standards. 1.2065 0.05250 92 77 11 4
3343 Meet Jim, our new affirmative action hire. Please note that he is not a snack. 1.2065 0.05473 92 78 9 5
3344 And here’s lunch! 1.2065 0.04516 92 74 17 1
3345 I swear, Larry, if you're ever late to another board meeting, one of us will have you for lunch. 1.2065 0.05017 92 76 13 3
3346 We can disagree without being disagreeable. 1.2065 0.04773 92 75 15 2
3347 I'd like to introduce my nephew, who'll be in charge of public relations. 1.2065 0.05017 92 76 13 3
3348 The diversity seminar Ted took over the summer was about to pay off. 1.2065 0.04773 92 75 15 2
3349 Institutional knowledge, is that still relevant? 1.2065 0.04244 92 73 19 0
3350 Everyone, this is Paul. He's going to help with our image problem. 1.2065 0.04244 92 73 19 0
3351 As you know, the management's top priority is diversity. 1.2065 0.05017 92 76 13 3
3352 Wow...when you said your coworkers were monsters you weren’t kidding. 1.2065 0.04773 92 75 15 2
3353 Why yes, the inmates ARE now running the asylum! 1.2065 0.05017 92 76 13 3
3354 I want to introduce you all to the newest member of the team, Charles, let’s make him feel at home and that he’s one of us. 1.2065 0.04773 92 75 15 2
3355 He moved so fast, he even broke his planet. 1.2065 0.04244 92 73 19 0
3356 Hey, I was told they didn't serve GM food here! 1.2065 0.04773 92 75 15 2
3357 The Board does not feel You would fit in 1.2065 0.04244 92 73 19 0
3358 We haven't worked all the kinks out yet, but we are planning to call it a HUMAN 1.2065 0.05017 92 76 13 3
3359 Ok guys,so this is Jared and he'll be our new public relations officer. 1.2065 0.05017 92 76 13 3
3360 Tom here is our next entree...er intern... 1.2065 0.04244 92 73 19 0
3361 All in favor of dissolving the firm and joining the circus, say "Aye" 1.2065 0.05250 92 77 11 4
3362 Great, human resources messed up our order again—looks like we're sharing. 1.2065 0.04773 92 75 15 2
3363 Good news! They deliver. 1.2065 0.05017 92 76 13 3
3364 I'd like to introduce Melvin, our new token monster, who's here to go over this years health insurance plan options. 1.2065 0.05017 92 76 13 3
3365 Everyone, this is Johnson. He’s going to help us do things more effectively. 1.2065 0.05250 92 77 11 4
3366 Today's task is to think-tank how to distract the public from all these impeachment points. ...And go! 1.2065 0.04773 92 75 15 2
3367 Okay let's welcome the Earthling to our annual Pan Galactic board eating 1.2065 0.05250 92 77 11 4
3368 No, he IS our human resource. 1.2065 0.05250 92 77 11 4
3369 Let the impeachment hearings begin. 1.2065 0.05017 92 76 13 3
3370 And for lunch our “guest” is Bob from planet earth. 1.2065 0.04516 92 74 17 1
3371 Our PR guy tells me we have to start dressing for success. 1.2065 0.05250 92 77 11 4
3372 And Patrick from human resources will not talk on diversity... 1.2065 0.04773 92 75 15 2
3373 Members of the Board meet Bob; he is the one that will bring balance to the business 1.2065 0.04516 92 74 17 1
3374 As Jared notes, a drained swamp is rife with opportunity. 1.2065 0.05017 92 76 13 3
3375 Who let the freak with the tie in here? 1.2065 0.04773 92 75 15 2
3376 A board meeting of the Eat What You Kill Company“ 1.2065 0.04773 92 75 15 2
3377 Take your clothes off and get involved 1.2065 0.05250 92 77 11 4
3378 You know, Brian, we all worked really hard on our costumes this year. You really could've made an effort. 1.2065 0.04773 92 75 15 2
3379 Very funny Tell the new guy to come in costume. 1.2065 0.04516 92 74 17 1
3380 What did you do with the spoon? 1.2065 0.04516 92 74 17 1
3381 The election ended a long time ago in one of the biggest Electoral College victories in history. 1.2065 0.04516 92 74 17 1
3382 Stay with me here: Tom is leading our new Human Resources department. 1.2065 0.04773 92 75 15 2
3383 The Never Noah impeachment inquiry will come to order! 1.2065 0.05017 92 76 13 3
3384 Gentlemen, this is Rodney. He's had thirty years experience hiding under rocks" 1.2065 0.04516 92 74 17 1
3385 Good one Stuart, but we weren't supposed to dress up for Halloween. 1.2065 0.04773 92 75 15 2
3386 The suit and the tie are a bit off-putting, but I think we all know who he is masquerading as. 1.2065 0.04773 92 75 15 2
3387 Finally we have found the perfect candidate to initiate our Human Resources Department. 1.2065 0.04516 92 74 17 1
3388 He's a bit scary looking, yes, but he speaks Ukrainian. 1.2065 0.05250 92 77 11 4
3389 When everyone's having a good time and that one person walks in. 1.2065 0.04773 92 75 15 2
3390 Don't let his appearence fool you- this guy's policy record makes us look like amateurs! 1.2065 0.05017 92 76 13 3
3391 And Bentley here will be our snack. 1.2065 0.05017 92 76 13 3
3392 Do you think you all can behave together in a bar? 1.2065 0.04516 92 74 17 1
3393 We can program him any way you like. 1.2065 0.04516 92 74 17 1
3394 We are all waiting for a chance to be in the next “men in black” movie. 1.2065 0.04516 92 74 17 1
3395 Now, let’s hear what our token human has to add to the deliberations. 1.2065 0.04773 92 75 15 2
3396 We are delighted to have you join the Board Michael, to increase our diversity 1.2065 0.04773 92 75 15 2
3397 A little diversity is a good idea. 1.2065 0.05017 92 76 13 3
3398 Hey man, welcome to our diversity training! 1.2065 0.04516 92 74 17 1
3399 Okay, our clueless lunch has arrived so let's take a break. 1.2065 0.04773 92 75 15 2
3400 He's the new non-fiction editor 1.2065 0.05017 92 76 13 3
3401 No Jeff, you can’t have an extra vacation day.” 1.2065 0.04516 92 74 17 1
3402 I had a dream last night that I walked into my office and all of you turned into humans. Coffee anyone? 1.2065 0.04773 92 75 15 2
3403 Everyone, this is Larry from Accounting. 1.2065 0.05017 92 76 13 3
3404 psst...that dude is really ugly.... 1.2065 0.04516 92 74 17 1
3405 Somebody find a seat for the weirdo 1.2065 0.04516 92 74 17 1
3406 Listen we've held productive meetings for millions of years now, he'll adapt eventually. 1.2065 0.05017 92 76 13 3
3407 I'd like to introduce our guest speaker who will be discussing our need for more diversity in our organization. 1.2065 0.04516 92 74 17 1
3408 In keeping with the longstanding policy of not revealing ourselves to humans, this is the new face of the company, Bob." 1.2065 0.04244 92 73 19 0
3409 Your application for membership in the Society of Non-Protected Classes has been blackballed. 1.2065 0.04773 92 75 15 2
3410 Everyone this is Larry, he’s from earth. Please don’t be frightened by his grotesque appearance. 1.2065 0.04516 92 74 17 1
3411 In keeping with the firm's commitment to inclusion and diversity, we abducted our new CEO from Earth. 1.2065 0.04516 92 74 17 1
3412 And this is Stan, our new Monster Resources Director. 1.2065 0.05017 92 76 13 3
3413 OH! OH! Human, Good to EAT? 1.2065 0.04773 92 75 15 2
3414 Now that we have a Queerum 1.2065 0.05017 92 76 13 3
3415 Hey folks, make some noise for the new kid! 1.2065 0.04516 92 74 17 1
3416 I’d like to introduce our new V.P. for reality shows. 1.2065 0.05250 92 77 11 4
3417 So I'm the only normal one, then. 1.2065 0.04516 92 74 17 1
3418 Thanks to the Star Wars checks, we now have a butler. 1.2065 0.05250 92 77 11 4
3419 Let’s face it . . . 1.2065 0.05017 92 76 13 3
3420 Robert, here, suggests his rules of order. 1.2065 0.05250 92 77 11 4
3421 Don't mind him. He just like to linger around when elders talk. 1.2065 0.05250 92 77 11 4
3422 I’ll have what I’m having. 1.2065 0.05017 92 76 13 3
3423 This is Bob, our new Non-Human Resources director. 1.2065 0.04773 92 75 15 2
3424 See. We are a very diverse and inclusive panel here. 1.2065 0.04516 92 74 17 1
3425 Everybody, this is Chad the new best Secretary of Homeland Security. 1.2065 0.05017 92 76 13 3
3426 1913: Now that we're all disguised, let's get to work on The Federal Reserve. 1.2065 0.04516 92 74 17 1
3427 This is Ted, our diversity hire. He’s from an underserved planet. 1.2065 0.04516 92 74 17 1
3428 Look, he has fired just about everyone in his cabinet, which one of us is next? 1.2065 0.05250 92 77 11 4
3429 I'd like to introduce Carl. We're having him for lunch. 1.2065 0.04773 92 75 15 2
3430 Let’s not forget the guy who started it all, Norm. 1.2065 0.04516 92 74 17 1
3431 Before this meeting turns into a zoo, does anyone want coffee? 1.2065 0.05250 92 77 11 4
3432 Slide down boys and make room for the freshman senator from the great state of Utah. 1.2065 0.05017 92 75 13 3
3433 Todd's here with our lunch order. I've got dibs on his hamstrings. 1.2065 0.04773 92 75 15 2
3434 I’d like you to meet Pembroke - he was recently transferred from a regional office. 1.2065 0.04773 92 75 15 2
3435 Gentlemen is this not taking casual Friday a bit far 1.2065 0.04773 92 75 15 2
3436 Turns out we have a huge untapped customer base. 1.2065 0.04516 92 74 17 1
3437 This is dinner, who's hungry? 1.2065 0.04516 92 74 17 1
3438 I feel alienated ... 1.2065 0.04773 92 75 15 2
3439 this is George's nephew...pull up a chair...we were just ordering lunch... 1.2065 0.04516 92 74 17 1
3440 The newest member of our team, my nephew Harold, who's just completed his PhD in biodiversity ... 1.2065 0.04516 92 74 17 1
3441 Everyone, meet Doug, our newest Human Resources Manager. Milton, could you please stop drooling? 1.2065 0.04516 92 74 17 1
3442 Ladies and gentlemen, we have conclusively proved that our insecticide is safe for use to grow food, for human consumption. 1.2065 0.05250 92 77 11 4
3443 I trust you’ve all had lunch? 1.2065 0.05250 92 77 11 4
3444 «The gentleman has offered to talk to us about ‘Advanced Genetics’ » 1.2065 0.04773 92 75 15 2
3445 It's complicated. We have to fix his illegal immigration status." 1.2065 0.05017 92 76 13 3
3446 Remember, equal opportunity ! 1.2065 0.04773 92 75 15 2
3447 He was reluctant to tell them the house specialty is "monster Mash" 1.2065 0.05017 92 76 13 3
3448 Apparently not all the earthlings chose him as their leader. 1.2065 0.05017 92 76 13 3
3449 Let's welcome Ed, our new head of diversity. 1.2065 0.04516 92 74 17 1
3450 And so we're agreed. Michael Corleone will have the Milky Way, and Zotar will control the Lesser Magellanic Cloud. 1.2065 0.05473 92 78 9 5
3451 Say hello to the new extinct species. 1.2065 0.04516 92 74 17 1
3452 They told me this place was a fuckin' zoo. 1.2065 0.05017 92 76 13 3
3453 Eep op ork, ah-ah. 1.2043 0.05198 93 78 11 4
3454 It's good that we meet on our terms rather than in his nightmares. 1.2043 0.04727 93 76 15 2
3455 Let's all welcome Al. He's a little funny looking for sure, but he's a good guy. 1.2043 0.04473 93 75 17 1
3456 We may be a product of Little Mikey's imagination, but the trade war with China is very real, and must be attended to. 1.2043 0.04473 93 75 17 1
3457 Hank says he’s tired of being marginalized. 1.2043 0.04727 93 76 15 2
3458 I’d like to introduce our token human 1.2043 0.04473 93 75 17 1
3459 I don't care what you say, we're not getting pineapple on a pizza. 1.2043 0.04968 93 79 10 4
3460 Just let him get a little closer; I'm hoping he tastes like chicken. 1.2043 0.04727 93 76 15 2
3461 ITEM 1-all delegates must be an identifialbe species. 1.2043 0.04473 93 75 17 1
3462 Andrews, we think you just don’t embody the company’s image well. 1.2043 0.04727 93 76 15 2
3463 Lets take our brake now, I see lunch has arrived. 1.2043 0.04473 93 75 17 1
3464 If you ever expect to get ahead here, you better start drinking the primordial soup. 1.2043 0.04473 93 75 17 1
3465 Shhh.....not a word to him on why he’s being let go 1.2043 0.05418 93 79 9 5
3466 Just because he looks funny, doesn't mean he shouldn't get a seat at the table 1.2043 0.04473 93 75 17 1
3467 why did I agree to sign the NDA? 1.2043 0.05630 93 80 7 6
3468 Everyone this is Jim, Jim this is everyone who will be feasting on you tonight. 1.2021 0.04920 94 78 13 3
3469 We need to put a stop to this! First that Geico gecko and now that insurance turkey! We need to unionize, get agents, and demand equal pay! 1.2019 0.04808 104 87 13 4
3470 This earthling here is our mandated government handicap person. 1.2000 0.04525 90 73 16 1
3471 As you can see, we take Halloween very seriously around here. 1.2000 0.04793 90 74 14 2
3472 Jim will tell us about a cantina he thinks is right for us 1.2000 0.04525 90 73 16 1
3473 Let me assure you, I'm more of a monster than all of you. 1.2000 0.04525 90 73 16 1
3474 Anyone, you know, bring treats? 1.2000 0.04525 90 72 16 1
3475 I thought we needed a little diversity 1.2000 0.04793 90 74 14 2
3476 That's 3 nominations, wow, okay then, everyone who thinks that Joe here has the best Halloween costume raise your hand or say aye! 1.2000 0.04793 90 74 14 2
3477 I’ve invited Bill to come speak to us today about some of the challenges brought about by climate change, and the adverse effect that it may have upon the environment of our children and grandchildren in years to come. 1.2000 0.05369 75 62 11 2
3478 Don't Pay Attention to His Looks 1.2000 0.04240 90 72 18 0
3479 halloween is the worst. it‘s the time when they take the human suits out and try to be scary-funny in those meatsacks. 1.2000 0.04240 90 72 18 0
3480 Team, let's give a loud scream as we welcome Greg from compliance 1.2000 0.05047 90 75 12 3
3481 Everyone meet Todd, he's very excited to be our first diversity hire. 1.2000 0.04525 90 73 16 1
3482 Who votes for more another round of LSD for his anxieties? 1.2000 0.04793 90 74 14 2
3483 Bob may look alien to you, but he'll be great for the atmosphere 1.2000 0.04525 90 73 16 1
3484 This is quite the family dinner 1.2000 0.04793 90 74 14 2
3485 Marvin is here to talk about "Social Ineptitude Liability Coverage. 1.2000 0.05047 90 75 12 3
3486 I say we kick trump out of our group. He is too gross. 1.2000 0.04793 90 74 14 2
3487 Meet Harvey. Central casting sent him over for our new film, "Whatever Happened to Homo Sapiens?" 1.2000 0.04793 90 74 14 2
3488 So we’re agreed there is now no need to send out for lunch. 1.2000 0.04525 90 73 16 1
3489 Hey, Polka Dot Guy....you think you're better than us? 1.2000 0.05288 90 76 10 4
3490 Stockholders have complained that we're not diverse enough, so Mr. Jones here is our new Board member. 1.2000 0.05047 90 75 12 3
3491 We've asked Randy to join the board because we need more diversity and because, as you know, he owns the nearest live bait shop. 1.2000 0.04240 90 72 18 0
3492 Now let’s vote on endangering the human species. 1.2000 0.04793 90 74 14 2
3493 Welcome to the casting call for Toy Story 5. Hope you brought some ideas. 1.2000 0.05047 90 75 12 3
3494 I don't know, I think Disney already came up with something like that. 1.2000 0.04525 90 73 16 1
3495 We are here today because they scientifically don't need us anymore to procreate. 1.2000 0.04525 90 73 16 1
3496 Hey, how do you creeps like role reversal day? 1.2000 0.05288 90 76 10 4
3497 Where's Phil? 1.2000 0.04793 90 74 14 2
3498 He’s leading today’s training: ‘How to Increase Diversity in the Workplace.’ 1.2000 0.04793 90 74 14 2
3499 Next on the agenda: Clarification of company policies regarding dress codes. 1.2000 0.05047 90 75 12 3
3500 Bob from Legal wants to explain why our invasion of the planet strategy may be ill-advised. 1.2000 0.05288 90 76 10 4
3501 Finally, we have diversity! Now does everyone speak Inclusion? 1.2000 0.04240 90 72 18 0
3502 That moment when your teacher walks over to your group, so you act like nothing happened even though y'all were acting up. 1.2000 0.04525 90 73 16 1
3503 Clothing is not an option at this firm. 1.2000 0.04793 90 74 14 2
3504 Behold the newest exhibit for Anthropocene Park, Shareholdus Valueus Maximus 1.2000 0.05047 90 75 12 3
3505 Your Mr. Universe can’t even survive on Mars. 1.2000 0.04793 90 74 14 2
3506 I think I'll start with the one on the end. 1.2000 0.04793 90 74 14 2
3507 Patience, ladies! He just dropped his first tab of acid. 1.2000 0.04525 90 73 16 1
3508 Welcome Carl. Have a seat and we’ll begin the diversity sensitivity training. 1.2000 0.04525 90 73 16 1
3509 Please welcome Barry, our new VP-Human Relations! 1.2000 0.04525 90 73 16 1
3510 Everyone welcome our new VP of Human Extermination, Bob. 1.2000 0.04793 90 74 14 2
3511 Who's the weird looking kid in the suit? 1.2000 0.05047 90 75 12 3
3512 It’s time we opened up membership to admit humans to our club 1.2000 0.04637 95 78 15 2
3513 Everyone, meet my new human assistant, Chad. Remember not to eat Chad. 1.2000 0.04793 90 74 14 2
3514 This isn’t the diversity of opinion I had in mind . . . . . 1.2000 0.04793 90 74 14 2
3515 Get back in your cages the raiders are coming. 1.2000 0.05047 90 75 12 3
3516 Do you think she's ever going to address the human in the room? 1.2000 0.04240 90 72 18 0
3517 He needs a better costume. 1.2000 0.04525 90 73 16 1
3518 We'll now hear from Human Resources. 1.2000 0.04240 90 72 18 0
3519 And for the entree we'll be having Kevin. 1.2000 0.05047 90 75 12 3
3520 Dinner sure looks appetizing! 1.2000 0.04793 90 74 14 2
3521 Meet our new pet, Stevie! 1.2000 0.04525 90 73 16 1
3522 I was about to serve dinner, but I see you have already eaten 1.2000 0.04525 90 73 16 1
3523 The board has good news and bad news. Today, we eat. Jones, you eat Perkins. Barnes, you eat Jones. 1.2000 0.04525 90 73 16 1
3524 This is Robert everyone. He'll be heading our new Human Resources Department. 1.2000 0.04525 90 73 16 1
3525 We’re Gonna Need A Bigger Wall 1.2000 0.04793 90 74 14 2
3526 Of course he has hair, he's a mammal. 1.2000 0.04240 90 72 18 0
3527 Oops, looks like someone thought Today was Halloween costume day! 1.2000 0.05047 90 75 12 3
3528 The shareholders have requested to vote on our board diversity policy. 1.2000 0.05047 90 75 12 3
3529 Sorry, no shoes, no shirts...no service. 1.2000 0.05288 90 76 10 4
3530 Mmm Dinner 1.2000 0.04240 90 72 18 0
3531 Whose DNA should we change today? 1.2000 0.05047 90 75 12 3
3532 Thank you all for showing up on time for your first day as interns. I can already tell we have selected a fine batch of future lobbyists. 1.2000 0.05610 70 58 10 2
3533 Let's Return to our Star Wars Bar After We Get Off Work Today 1.2000 0.05047 90 75 12 3
3534 Please dress more professionally next time. 1.2000 0.05047 90 75 12 3
3535 Are you almost done? Because we’re gonna need this room back by 3:00 p.m. 1.2000 0.05047 90 75 12 3
3536 Please help me welcome the newest member of Monster Club. He votes republican. 1.2000 0.04525 90 73 16 1
3537 "'Looks tasty' means to have good taste. Right Spotty?" 1.2000 0.04525 90 73 16 1
3538 Let's look at the bright side, guys!-We maybe unemployed today, but at the current speed prequels, sequels, reboots, spin-offs, and Marvel and DC' universes are generally expanding, Hollywood will have jobs for all of you before the end of this week. 1.2000 0.04793 90 74 14 2
3539 Here is our latest monster, we call it: MAN 1.2000 0.05047 90 75 12 3
3540 When your family's full of politicians 1.2000 0.04525 90 73 16 1
3541 Great! Harold makes a quorum. 1.2000 0.04525 90 73 16 1
3542 Our new therapist has a black belt in screaming arts. 1.2000 0.05288 90 76 10 4
3543 This is Bob. He'll be instituting the company's drug testing program. 1.2000 0.05288 90 76 10 4
3544 They`re asking for representation at the table. 1.2000 0.04240 90 72 18 0
3545 I guess diversity can be overdone! 1.2000 0.05047 90 75 12 3
3546 Noah's voyage planning committee 1.2000 0.04793 90 73 14 2
3547 What happened to the guy in the black suit? 1.2000 0.04525 90 73 16 1
3548 Do you think our campaign will antagonize our Creationist clients? 1.2000 0.04793 90 74 14 2
3549 I recommend the cream chipped beef on toast. 1.2000 0.05047 90 75 12 3
3550 Tell me: Who exactly is the odd man out? 1.2000 0.04793 90 74 14 2
3551 I agree, Simmons. Every board of directors needs one weirdo, and he's it. 1.2000 0.04793 90 74 14 2
3552 Adam is writing our millenium report. 1.2000 0.04525 90 73 16 1
3553 He’a with the IRS. 1.2000 0.04793 90 74 14 2
3554 The emphasis of the meeting is to be on diversity. 1.2000 0.04525 90 73 16 1
3555 I propose duck for lunch as well as currency. 1.2000 0.04793 90 74 14 2
3556 I see Herb didn't get the "naked Friday" memo. 1.2000 0.04793 90 74 14 2
3557 And please give a warm welcome to our newest and worst monster, Mr. Lawyer. 1.2000 0.04793 90 74 14 2
3558 Folks, Bob here is going to find ways to help us accelerate our demise. 1.2000 0.05288 90 76 10 4
3559 Please welcome George. He'll bring some diversity to our panel. 1.2000 0.04793 90 74 14 2
3560 OK guys, we have to find a way to get rid of the Teletubbies. 1.2000 0.05288 90 76 10 4
3561 I move that we eat the human, second? 1.2000 0.05047 90 75 12 3
3562 We have to hire him. It's galactic affirmative action. 1.2000 0.05288 90 76 10 4
3563 This is Jim Spanfeller. He wants us to stick to sports. 1.2000 0.04793 90 74 14 2
3564 Here we have a perfect example of what not to wear. 1.2000 0.05047 90 75 12 3
3565 We will now hear from our weird looking guest speaker. 1.2000 0.04525 90 73 16 1
3566 As you know eating all the children on the school bus last week was a bit of a fiasco. By way of introduction this is Malcolm who's our new V.P. of Social Media to help us put a better spin on it. 1.2000 0.04793 90 74 14 2
3567 Anyone who doesn't eat kosher? 1.2000 0.05047 90 75 12 3
3568 So, I get it, you're all monsters, but why does the tall guy look like pizza? 1.2000 0.05047 90 75 12 3
3569 Main course or desert and dressed or not? 1.2000 0.04793 90 74 14 2
3570 We need more diversity. 1.2000 0.04525 90 73 16 1
3571 Dear Friends 1.2000 0.04793 90 74 14 2
3572 Meet Mr. John Smith 1.2000 0.05047 90 75 12 3
3573 Remember Lincoln also assembled a team of rivals. 1.2000 0.04525 90 73 16 1
3574 Introducing Jeff. He’s from the Tulsa office. 1.2000 0.05288 90 76 10 4
3575 And now, I'd like to present our newest acquisition: lunch ! 1.2000 0.04525 90 73 16 1
3576 Lunch is standing to my left. 1.2000 0.05047 90 75 12 3
3577 Meet our new intern, Mark. As a politician, I think he will fit right in 1.2000 0.05047 90 75 12 3
3578 Let's sit a moment before hitting the buffet. 1.2000 0.04793 90 74 14 2
3579 Team, this is Jeff our new diversity hire. 1.2000 0.04525 90 73 16 1
3580 Per shareholder request, please welcome, our first white male human. 1.2000 0.05047 90 75 12 3
3581 Let me introduce the newest member to our diversity program. 1.2000 0.04525 90 73 16 1
3582 I had to get a human lawyer again! Only they can lie as much as we need. 1.2000 0.04793 90 74 14 2
3583 We'll be starting our meeting with an appetizer." 1.2000 0.04793 90 74 14 2
3584 Anyone want takeout? 1.2000 0.04793 90 74 14 2
3585 He says in exchange for sovereignty, we could access all of Netflix. 1.2000 0.04525 90 73 16 1
3586 He's only a temp … we'll keep him on 'til Christmas and then eat him. 1.2000 0.04793 90 74 14 2
3587 I promised he'd be welcome at our table, not eaten at our table 1.2000 0.04525 90 73 16 1
3588 Trump rolls out his new immigration platform to the Democrats 1.2000 0.05047 90 75 12 3
3589 Let's get MORE animated. 1.2000 0.04872 95 79 13 3
3590 Steve is here from HR for our diversity training. 1.2000 0.05288 90 76 10 4
3591 Let’s hear what the union rep has to say, shall we? 1.2000 0.04525 90 73 16 1
3592 Jeff is here to advise us on the takeover. 1.2000 0.04240 90 72 18 0
3593 And this is Jerry, from HR. 1.2000 0.04793 90 74 14 2
3594 Tapas! Really? Not exactly talon cuisine. 1.2000 0.04793 90 74 14 2
3595 We should not build an electric wall around Venus. Remember, at some point we all came from another planet 1.1978 0.04996 91 76 12 3
3596 We hired a consultant to help us think outside the box! 1.1978 0.04745 91 75 14 2
3597 Come on, let's give the Doc a warm cold-blooded welcome! 1.1978 0.04745 91 75 14 2
3598 Our scare, scream and terrify metrics are way down this quarter. Norman will present the analytics and a few recommendations. 1.1978 0.05234 91 77 10 4
3599 As some of you may know, we've been struggling with an image problem for a few millennia now. Reggie is here to help us. 1.1978 0.04199 91 73 18 0
3600 Our Human Resources chief is here to talk about our new veterinarian health plan. 1.1978 0.04745 91 75 14 2
3601 Adding Joel to the team addresses the diversity question. 1.1978 0.04745 91 75 14 2
3602 welcome to Animal House. 1.1978 0.04480 91 74 16 1
3603 We have Roy here who is going to come up with a dumb play on words, which the editors will choose as the winning caption. 1.1978 0.04745 91 75 14 2
3604 Bob's right, we have not evolved and need a bit of disruption. 1.1978 0.04480 91 74 16 1
3605 Meet Brad, out new diversity hire. 1.1978 0.04745 91 75 14 2
3606 This is Gary, from HR. He'll be our lunch today. 1.1978 0.05234 91 77 10 4
3607 Now for an outside perspective... 1.1978 0.04480 91 74 16 1
3608 Affirmative action at work. 1.1978 0.04745 91 75 14 2
3609 Larry here has called yet another vote from his irrational fears, to hopefully continue to bolster his waning support, for our glorious president. 1.1978 0.04996 91 76 12 3
3610 Mr. Slogworth is our attempt, at last, to bring some diversity to this board of directors. 1.1978 0.04480 91 74 16 1
3611 In an effort to boost our scare impact on adults, please welcome our newest monster, Mr. Jones, CPA. 1.1978 0.04996 91 76 12 3
3612 None of you guys are the females of your species, right? Sorry sorry, it's hard for me to tell, but I really do have to ask. What about you over there? No? OK, we're good? Good. Where was I? Right. So, this chick is sucking on my xörgöy, right... 1.1978 0.05463 91 78 8 5
3613 Ladies and gentlemen, in the interest of workplace diversity ... 1.1978 0.04480 91 74 16 1
3614 Our new non-chair member just has been boarded” 1.1978 0.04480 91 74 16 1
3615 Yes, indeed, frightening! I call him 'Human.' As President, you must agree with me--he and his kind are due for extinction." 1.1978 0.04480 91 74 16 1
3616 The human, I think they call them 'suits', is definitely the one involved in the company's cover up. 1.1978 0.04480 91 74 16 1
3617 We're taking 'Casual Friday' in a new direction. 1.1978 0.04996 91 76 12 3
3618 ... and Bill is here from Human Resources. 1.1978 0.04480 91 74 16 1
3619 Halloween is probably not your thing, I guess. 1.1978 0.04745 91 75 14 2
3620 Welcome to New York! Now Jim here is going to walk you through the new anti-sexual harassment training course. 1.1978 0.04480 91 74 16 1
3621 I would like to start the meeting of things found in the closet, under the bed, and in our dreams. 1.1978 0.04996 91 76 12 3
3622 So we are all in favor of having a dog park? 1.1978 0.04745 91 75 14 2
3623 I know Dan doesn't look like he's one of us, but trust me, he always leaves the espresso machine with an empty water tank and a full capsule container. 1.1978 0.04745 91 75 14 2
3624 Please welcome Harold, our new Human Resources attorney. Don't eat him before the current lawsuits are settled. 1.1978 0.04996 91 76 12 3
3625 I love Halloween. Everyone seems happy to see me. 1.1978 0.04480 91 74 16 1
3626 Ted here is the new HR rep. Don't worry. He's a real creep. 1.1978 0.04745 91 75 14 2
3627 Aha! A fine preservative from the humanestic period 65 million years ago 1.1978 0.04745 91 75 14 2
3628 This has turned into a real zoo! 1.1978 0.04745 91 75 14 2
3629 Time to take a break- looks like lunch just arrived. 1.1978 0.04745 91 75 14 2
3630 Did you check out that poser in the suit? 1.1978 0.04745 91 75 14 2
3631 Let's welcome our new recruit and try not to mention how weird it looks. 1.1978 0.05234 91 77 10 4
3632 I met him in the Star Wars bar. 1.1978 0.04745 91 75 14 2
3633 I think we can at least say this board has attained a whole new level of diversity. 1.1978 0.04996 91 76 12 3
3634 What do you mean equal pay? 1.1978 0.04996 91 76 12 3
3635 Meet Al. We’ve now achieved full organizational diversity. 1.1978 0.04480 91 74 16 1
3636 Bruce is coming on board to lead our extraterrestrial markets research team. 1.1978 0.04480 91 74 16 1
3637 He's from the wrong side of the galaxy. 1.1978 0.04996 91 76 12 3
3638 Honest we’ve tried but we can’t get him to stop begging. 1.1978 0.04480 91 74 16 1
3639 Aw, c'mon, let him sit in. Diversity's good. 1.1978 0.04996 91 76 12 3
3640 We wouldlike to hear the dinner specials ! 1.1978 0.04996 91 76 12 3
3641 Great! lunch is here! 1.1978 0.04199 91 73 18 0
3642 I call this meeting of Diversified Goblins to order. Please welcome our lunch for today, Mr Peters. 1.1978 0.04480 91 74 16 1
3643 I want you all to say something nice about me and all the "perfect" phone calls I make. 1.1978 0.04745 91 75 14 2
3644 This is Bob. He'll be joining us for our lunch today. 1.1978 0.04480 91 74 16 1
3645 A liberal's view of the cabinet. 1.1978 0.05234 91 77 10 4
3646 You guys won't believe this, but humans actually are real. Todd's here to prove it. 1.1978 0.04996 91 76 12 3
3647 Let’s praise Mike here for helping us reach our diversity goal. 1.1978 0.04745 91 75 14 2
3648 We'd like to have a Baby Chair for our Barney first. 1.1978 0.04745 91 75 14 2
3649 Mitchell is here from HR to talk snot out lack of board diversity. 1.1978 0.04745 91 75 14 2
3650 Accounting here seems to believe our numbers indicate something unusual. 1.1978 0.04996 91 76 12 3
3651 Watkins, here, will be heading up our new Diversity division. 1.1978 0.04199 91 73 18 0
3652 Theses early Monday morning team meetings are just not productive. 1.1972 0.05537 71 59 10 2
3653 Bob suffers from Marilyn Munster Syndrome... please excuse his ugly as he teaches us how to create a more inclusive work environment." 1.1957 0.04698 92 76 14 2
3654 Ok! Let's vote. Is he big enough for Thanksgiving dinner? 1.1957 0.04946 92 77 12 3
3655 We're all here. You can bring our last supper now, waiter. 1.1957 0.04159 92 74 18 0
3656 I told him we preferred the Space Bar but he insisted we meet here. 1.1957 0.04437 92 75 16 1
3657 Guys he regrettably belongs here. 1.1957 0.04698 92 76 14 2
3658 This is the headhunter from monster.com 1.1954 0.04861 87 72 13 2
3659 Phil is here from our newest acquisition, Earth. He'll bring us up to speed on something called "Human Resources." 1.1954 0.04861 87 72 13 2
3660 Is it just me or is the Venus cappuccino too hot? 1.1954 0.04578 87 71 15 1
3661 I like the fact that my cabinet is filled animals! 1.1954 0.05128 87 73 11 3
3662 Meet the new intern Gary. 1.1954 0.04578 87 71 15 1
3663 who's the new guy he looks a little odd 1.1954 0.04578 87 71 15 1
3664 And that's why, Chad, it's offensive when you says you're a "monster" on the squash court. 1.1954 0.04578 87 71 15 1
3665 Guess who we're having for dinner. 1.1954 0.04861 87 72 13 2
3666 This is our waiter. He will not only bring us our dinner,he will also be our dessert. 1.1954 0.04578 87 71 15 1
3667 I'd like to introduce our first course! 1.1954 0.05128 87 73 11 3
3668 You're not a galactic wartime consigliere, Tom. You're out. 1.1954 0.05383 87 74 9 4
3669 Let me introduce our mascot, Maurice Sendak. 1.1954 0.05383 87 74 9 4
3670 We have finally achieved ultimate diversity. 1.1954 0.05383 87 74 9 4
3671 May we see the menu? 1.1954 0.05128 87 73 11 3
3672 Waiter, everyone will have the eye of newt. 1.1954 0.04861 87 72 13 2
3673 Is it just med or does the guy in the polka dots look a little strange? 1.1954 0.04578 87 71 15 1
3674 How much board diversity can we tolerate, bringing Frank on board? 1.1954 0.05383 87 74 9 4
3675 Good to hear your fire breathing is selling well Tommy, keep it up! 1.1954 0.04861 87 72 13 2
3676 Fellow ghouls the main corpse has arrived. 1.1954 0.04861 87 72 13 2
3677 Let's all welcome Fred to our board of extinct dinosaurs. 1.1954 0.04861 87 72 13 2
3678 Don't blame me. I found him at monster.com. 1.1954 0.05128 87 73 11 3
3679 My delicious new assistant Arthur will be providing lunch for us today. 1.1954 0.04861 87 72 13 2
3680 Maybe in accepting him onto the board we will be pushing the limits of diversity just too far. 1.1954 0.04578 87 71 15 1
3681 The problem we've been tasked with is to advise "The New Yorker" as to what is really a truly unique and offfbeat funny illustration submission, because lately many people are saying they aren't too funny, original or thoughtful anymore. 1.1954 0.05626 87 75 7 5
3682 Under the kids bed was taken. So we went for the conference room. 1.1954 0.05128 87 73 11 3
3683 Madhouse Jury ... Impeachment Fury! 1.1954 0.04578 87 71 15 1
3684 Ted's from HR. He's going to talk to us about diversity and creating a welcoming environment. 1.1954 0.04578 87 71 15 1
3685 Don't let his looks fool you, he's a total killer in sales! 1.1954 0.04861 87 72 13 2
3686 Give us that all you can eat special – we just did a double shift at the nuclear plant." 1.1954 0.04861 87 72 13 2
3687 Why am I always the odd man out? 1.1954 0.04861 87 72 13 2
3688 We need to scare people of all ages so we've brought in The Tax Examiner. 1.1954 0.04578 87 71 15 1
3689 I think we've brought in too much diversity to the table. 1.1954 0.04578 87 71 15 1
3690 Thank god the dog destroyed ISIS for us in Syria. 1.1954 0.04861 87 72 13 2
3691 this is Carl, the new hire in human resources. 1.1954 0.04276 87 70 17 0
3692 I hereby declare this year's Ticketmaster Board of Directors meeting adjourned. 1.1954 0.05383 87 74 9 4
3693 And next on the menu, err schedule, is Bob 1.1954 0.04578 87 71 15 1
3694 The main course just arrived. 1.1954 0.04578 87 71 15 1
3695 '"Tell marketing to downplay the side effects of this medication". 1.1954 0.04861 87 72 13 2
3696 Diver 1.1954 0.04578 87 71 15 1
3697 Let’s all welcome Tom. We really think he’s going to being us some of the diversity we need to be successful. 1.1954 0.04861 87 72 13 2
3698 It appears that our chef has surprised us with a a classic appetizer from the 1950's, "Valet a la Brooks Bros." 1.1954 0.04578 87 71 15 1
3699 Thank you for interviewing with us as part of our diversity initiative. 1.1954 0.04578 87 71 15 1
3700 I know he doesn’t look like us, but it is important to have diversity 1.1954 0.05128 87 73 11 3
3701 Dear God, I need to find a new recruiter! 1.1954 0.04861 87 72 13 2
3702 Welcome to my world . . . 1.1954 0.04578 87 71 15 1
3703 He claims he created us. I think we could all use a good laugh, so let's hear him out. 1.1954 0.04861 87 72 13 2
3704 And to prove we’re not Humanphobic, Walter here, has been promoted to Vice President of Multi-Species Relations. 1.1954 0.04861 87 72 13 2
3705 Beak time, lunch has arrived. 1.1954 0.04578 87 71 15 1
3706 Let's all welcome back hinkcdz from his mission on Earth! 1.1954 0.05128 87 73 11 3
3707 It’s not our fault you didn’t read your email 1.1954 0.04861 87 72 13 2
3708 Hmmm... This sales pitch might be a bit tough! 1.1954 0.04861 87 72 13 2
3709 Time for Wednsday, I think? 1.1954 0.04861 87 72 13 2
3710 I want you all to meet Bill. He's our imagining friend. 1.1954 0.04578 87 71 15 1
3711 I'm glad we finally got the family together for the holidays. 1.1954 0.05128 87 73 11 3
3712 I put on the wrong suit. I didn’t the memo! 1.1954 0.04578 87 71 15 1
3713 I thought to no Halloween costumes. 1.1954 0.05128 87 73 11 3
3714 Mr Johnson is here to welcome us to New York City, He says we will fit right in. 1.1954 0.04578 87 71 15 1
3715 This diversity plan looks really successful, don't you think? 1.1954 0.04578 87 71 15 1
3716 Mr. Jones brings a new perspective to the table. 1.1954 0.04861 87 72 13 2
3717 Before we begin today’s Board meeting, I want to introduce ‘Earth Guy’ - he’s part of our new staff diversification initiative. 1.1954 0.04861 87 72 13 2
3718 And this years costume contest winner is ....! 1.1954 0.04578 87 71 15 1
3719 I'm hoping that at least one of you is a woman. 1.1954 0.05383 87 74 9 4
3720 We will reconvene after lunch. 1.1954 0.04861 87 72 13 2
3721 Let's all welcome our new COO, Marlin Perkins ! 1.1954 0.04861 87 72 13 2
3722 Bill’s our new diversity manager. We’ll be having him for lunch later. 1.1954 0.05128 87 73 11 3
3723 How do we propose to increase hacking into the 2020 election to advance our agenda? 1.1954 0.04861 87 72 13 2
3724 I’d like to introduce Brian, our new Compliance Officer 1.1954 0.04578 87 71 15 1
3725 Let’s toast our fellow reps with some scrumptious butterfly larvae and a taste of nectar before we slither back home. 1.1954 0.04861 87 72 13 2
3726 You didn't read the memo, did you..you..you IDIOT!!! 1.1954 0.04861 87 72 13 2
3727 The board says we have to diversify. 1.1954 0.04578 87 71 15 1
3728 The security officer will be escorting one of you out of this meeting. 1.1954 0.04578 87 71 15 1
3729 Since our business is professional dress retail we decided to bring someone on board who actually wears clothes. 1.1954 0.05383 87 74 9 4
3730 So I guess AA stood for Aliens Anonymous... 1.1954 0.05383 87 74 9 4
3731 The ayes have it. Now, let’s eat him. 1.1954 0.04578 87 71 15 1
3732 Strength in diversity... 1.1954 0.04861 87 72 13 2
3733 Do we want burgers, burritos or just eat him? 1.1954 0.04861 87 72 13 2
3734 How are we to eat this human? Cooked or raw. 1.1954 0.04578 87 71 15 1
3735 Please welcome our new member to the Republican caucus. 1.1954 0.05128 87 73 11 3
3736 Adding a Human, carries our Diversity Policy too far 1.1954 0.04578 87 71 15 1
3737 ... and I said “creature? I hardly know her!” And then that’s when she left me for the creature of the black lagoon. 1.1954 0.04578 87 71 15 1
3738 Seems accounting now requires invoices for all intergalactic travel. 1.1954 0.04861 87 72 13 2
3739 Everyone, this is Matt...he gets monsters like us. 1.1954 0.04861 87 74 10 3
3740 Gentlemen, please! Can't you see who this candidate really is? History repeating itself!! 1.1954 0.05383 87 74 9 4
3741 Nobody told me this was a costume party. 1.1954 0.05128 87 73 11 3
3742 HR is working on a diversity initiative. 1.1954 0.04861 87 72 13 2
3743 he's the new hire to put a more human spin on things 1.1954 0.04861 87 72 13 2
3744 Welcome Greg, our new HR director, we had to move heaven and go to earth to find him. 1.1954 0.04861 87 72 13 2
3745 We have to move to a new civilization. 1.1954 0.04578 87 71 15 1
3746 Yes, he is ugly. 1.1954 0.04578 87 71 15 1
3747 Shall we accept Earth's representative to the council or just eat him? 1.1954 0.04578 87 71 15 1
3748 But, do you have funds to cover medical insurance until the asylum hearings? 1.1954 0.04578 87 71 15 1
3749 Sorry Garg, only vertebrates are allowed to vote. 1.1954 0.05128 87 73 11 3
3750 I think Wilkins here is an ideal fit for our VP Human Resources 1.1954 0.04578 87 71 15 1
3751 Congratulations! Our company is one of the top ten for diversity & inclusion. 1.1954 0.04861 87 72 13 2
3752 Our next speaker will explain how the humans destroyed Earth 1.1954 0.04578 87 71 15 1
3753 Meet Harvey, new in HR. He’s here to help us with our animal magnetism. 1.1954 0.04276 87 70 17 0
3754 Around lunch break, NASA's Board of Directors invite an intern into the board room. 1.1954 0.04861 87 72 13 2
3755 Just because he's wearing a suit and looks like lunch doesn't mean you can be rude. 1.1954 0.04578 87 71 15 1
3756 Listen to this: "Game of Thrones" meets Maurice Sendak, but contemporary. 1.1954 0.04861 87 72 13 2
3757 What did we tell you about the dress code? 1.1954 0.04861 87 72 13 2
3758 It’s called a suit, and he’s assured me that underneath it he’s very well scaled 1.1954 0.04578 87 71 15 1
3759 Billy, you know the dress code: snortles are for Friday only. 1.1954 0.04861 87 72 13 2
3760 This meeting was out of this world! 1.1954 0.04861 87 72 13 2
3761 He's here because corporate, for some reason, thinks we need soft-skills training. 1.1954 0.04578 87 71 15 1
3762 And with that, I'll turn it over to Doug from Human Resources. 1.1954 0.04861 87 72 13 2
3763 We survived the asteroid 1.1954 0.04276 87 70 17 0
3764 Gentlemen, your lunch has arrived. 1.1954 0.04578 87 71 15 1
3765 It has to do with inclusiveness. 1.1954 0.05128 87 73 11 3
3766 We should do less LSD micro-dosing? 1.1954 0.05128 87 73 11 3
3767 I have no idea why one or more of us is not used as a Animal Cracker! 1.1954 0.05383 87 74 9 4
3768 This is a whole lot worse than stepping into a hornet's nest. 1.1954 0.04861 87 72 13 2
3769 Mr. Quigley and I would like to thank whoever had the boss for dinner last night. 1.1954 0.04861 87 72 13 2
3770 Let me introduce you to "Human Resource" 1.1954 0.04578 87 71 15 1
3771 We don't care if Elon Musk founded PayPal and Tesla, we're not going to let him use SpaceX to take over the entire galaxy. 1.1954 0.05128 87 73 11 3
3772 Welcome our diversity training leader, Bob 1.1954 0.04861 87 72 13 2
3773 And for lunch, bring us a dog and pony show. 1.1954 0.04861 87 72 13 2
3774 How many of you vote to put man on the endangered species list? 1.1954 0.04861 87 72 13 2
3775 Do you think he'll fit in? 1.1954 0.04861 87 72 13 2
3776 Lunchtime! He tastes better with the suit on. 1.1954 0.04861 87 72 13 2
3777 Ah! diversity is difficult but better than a two party system 1.1954 0.05128 87 73 11 3
3778 Mr. Williams from HR has just a few questions about how you reproduce. 1.1954 0.04861 87 72 13 2
3779 Perhaps you’re wondering why I brought you all together here today. 1.1954 0.04578 87 71 15 1
3780 I’ll let HR know that our diversity strategy is really working. 1.1954 0.04578 87 71 15 1
3781 I guess someone didn't get the memo about offensive costumes... 1.1954 0.05626 87 75 7 5
3782 We could learn a thing or two from this guy. He invented overdraft fees. 1.1954 0.05128 87 73 11 3
3783 No, we won’t eat him. He knows a great tax haven for us! 1.1954 0.04276 87 70 17 0
3784 Ahh, that’s what maximizing shareholder value feels like. 1.1954 0.04861 87 72 13 2
3785 Suit or not, we are all QAnon. 1.1954 0.04861 87 72 13 2
3786 He IS the dinner! 1.1954 0.04861 87 72 13 2
3787 It seems that Bob didn't get the memo about the staff costume party being cancelled. 1.1954 0.05383 87 74 9 4
3788 I'd like to introduce our rep from Ohio. 1.1954 0.04578 87 71 15 1
3789 Last on our agenda is a salute to John Smith, the last remaining employee from our take over of General Motors. 1.1954 0.04578 87 71 15 1
3790 So here’s the concept: A wookie, two droids, and three humans walk into a bar .... 1.1954 0.04861 87 72 13 2
3791 It is my pleasure to introduce our new Ambassador from Roswell, Al Leon. 1.1954 0.04861 87 72 13 2
3792 Say hello to our new intern - and our lunch. 1.1954 0.05383 87 74 9 4
3793 Everyone give a warm welcome to Stan, our new lead on the Monster Health Care Initiative. 1.1954 0.04861 87 72 13 2
3794 If any of you think you have a good argument against NOT going extinct, look at this dude 1.1954 0.04578 87 71 15 1
3795 Today we will be studying a primitive life form from Gloobong 7t, quaintly known as earth. 1.1954 0.05128 87 73 11 3
3796 Quick, act busy - it’s that monster from corporate. 1.1954 0.04861 87 72 13 2
3797 Looks like another diversity hire.” 1.1954 0.04861 87 72 13 2
3798 I didn't realize that you guys took Halloween so seriously 1.1954 0.04578 87 71 15 1
3799 ‘’Let’s put on a welcome face for our new defector from reality.’’ 1.1954 0.04861 87 72 13 2
3800 After reviewing several candidates, it became clear Howie best understood the team's mission for global domination... 1.1954 0.03778 87 71 16 0
3801 As by the rules, any species drawing an ice age card will become extinct. 1.1954 0.04861 87 72 13 2
3802 That's the appetizer? I prefer mine cooked. 1.1954 0.04578 87 71 15 1
3803 Let’s hear from our consultant. He thinks outside the box. 1.1954 0.04861 87 72 13 2
3804 You're late. We voted to take over the world, and you're the 8th vice president. 1.1954 0.05383 87 74 9 4
3805 We will now hear your case to occupy Earth Male #343AR28 - Caucasian Businessman 1.1954 0.05128 87 73 11 3
3806 All in favor of starting a clothing line, raise a limb. 1.1954 0.04861 87 72 13 2
3807 Henry is our new Director of Diversity 1.1932 0.04233 88 71 17 0
3808 So that we become more diverse I've hired Todd. He's a straight white single male with no tattoos or piercings." 1.1932 0.05075 88 74 11 3
3809 Say hello to the newest member of our Cryptic Club, The Average Man. 1.1932 0.04531 88 72 15 1
3810 Fred is here to talk about what I think is a great idea, a “dress code”. 1.1932 0.05075 88 74 11 3
3811 Everybody meet Dale our new Director of Diversity 1.1932 0.04531 88 72 15 1
3812 He's our new HR hire 1.1932 0.05075 88 74 11 3
3813 Our consultant says to let our freak flag fly!!! 1.1932 0.05326 88 75 9 4
3814 'Well, it looks like meat before grace' 1.1932 0.04810 88 73 13 2
3815 we've reached critical mass in diversity! 1.1932 0.04531 88 72 15 1
3816 I see lunch is here early. Bob, stop drooling, you have to wait your turn. 1.1932 0.04531 88 72 15 1
3817 I think it only fair that we allow him to speak before we devour him. 1.1932 0.04233 88 71 17 0
3818 Everyone please give a monstrous welcome to our new intern, Bob. 1.1932 0.04531 88 72 15 1
3819 Wow, I forgot it's casual Friday. 1.1932 0.05075 88 74 11 3
3820 Everyone, meet Dave, who will be guiding us through today's diversity training program. 1.1932 0.05075 88 74 11 3
3821 Let's give Tom a try. 1.1932 0.04531 88 72 15 1
3822 Just FYI, I’m going to be delegating more things to my personal attorney here. 1.1932 0.04531 88 72 15 1
3823 A gentle reminder now, looks aren't everything. 1.1932 0.04810 88 73 13 2
3824 I'd like you all to meet Dave from Human Resources. 1.1932 0.04531 88 74 12 2
3825 Sorry, corporate said we needed a diversity hire. 1.1932 0.03562 88 72 15 0
3826 No, he's not lunch. He's our diversity hire. 1.1932 0.04810 88 73 13 2
3827 I assure you, Elmer will prove to be a delecta...er...dependable addition to our table. 1.1932 0.04531 88 72 15 1
3828 So, does anyone have any special dietary restrictions? Other than Bill, of course. 1.1932 0.04810 88 73 13 2
3829 He wants to know how many want cheese on their burger. 1.1930 0.06352 57 48 7 2
3830 Now I know the idea of an outside management consultant can be scary, but John assures me that he's going to respect our unique corporate culture. 1.1915 0.04607 94 78 14 2
3831 Corporate called... they say we've gone too far with diversity. The suit & tie policy is being reinstituted. 1.1910 0.05270 89 76 9 4
3832 Lunch, anyone? 1.1910 0.04761 89 74 13 2
3833 Sorry, didn't know the dress code was "boorish casual" 1.1910 0.04761 89 74 13 2
3834 Allow me to introduce you to every CEO’s worst nightmare. 1.1910 0.05022 89 75 11 3
3835 The zootopia dinner awaits. 1.1905 0.04931 84 70 12 2
3836 It's was fun fixing the 2016 Federal Election, when Zorto got his pet elected. But, for the 2020 Election, why don't we work together as a team in getting the crayon-chewwing bed-wetting candidate with the other party elected this time? 1.1905 0.05214 84 71 10 3
3837 Jeremy here will be heading up our HR department. 1.1905 0.05214 84 71 10 3
3838 Gary here just successfully stormed Area 51! You know what to do, boys... 1.1905 0.04310 84 68 16 0
3839 Skdizqee ate your chair, Bob, but have a seat on the table. You still could win the committee’s entree for best dressed. 1.1905 0.04931 84 70 12 2
3840 I hope you all wouldn't boo me at a baseball game. 1.1905 0.04931 84 70 12 2
3841 No one mentioned this was business formal. 1.1905 0.05214 84 71 10 3
3842 On to new business, the main course at our holiday party. 1.1905 0.04631 84 69 14 1
3843 I feel like we are not doing enough to handle the different people that are not here. How can they be heard? 1.1905 0.04631 84 69 14 1
3844 Everyone, this is Bob's first day so lay off the abducting and brainwashing for a bit. 1.1905 0.05482 84 72 8 4
3845 I know, I know...but it's a rotation and only fair that Ron gets to choose the order-in restaurant for this week's meeting. 1.1905 0.05214 84 71 10 3
3846 Whose turn is it to eat an intern? 1.1905 0.04631 84 69 14 1
3847 let's just address the Human in the room. 1.1905 0.05214 84 71 10 3
3848 Looks like someone forgot today was Casual Friday. 1.1905 0.05214 84 71 10 3
3849 This is Ed. He's the first new hire from HR's new diversity and inclusion campaign. 1.1905 0.04631 84 69 14 1
3850 Ha, Ha very funny. Halloween's over 1.1905 0.04931 84 70 12 2
3851 No, it was not a dream. Clark's co-workers had all become their spirit animals. 1.1905 0.05214 84 71 10 3
3852 If we drop the trademark suit they'll cast us as extras in the next sequel. 1.1905 0.05214 84 71 10 3
3853 Ok. Why is Bob here? Bob, take it out slowly and they will all understand. 1.1905 0.04931 84 70 12 2
3854 He’s looking for a little more cowbell. 1.1905 0.04310 84 68 16 0
3855 Any objections to declaring next week National Biped 1.1905 0.04631 84 69 14 1
3856 All in favor of letting this weird creature covered in some kind of fabric join our group say "Aye". Michael Rogness, St. Paul, Minnesota 1.1905 0.04931 84 70 12 2
3857 We’re here to discuss assignments and responsibilities 1.1905 0.04310 84 68 16 0
3858 Everyone please welcome our newest member Richard the Petroleum Lobbyer 1.1905 0.05214 84 71 10 3
3859 Let’s take a break. Lunch just arrived 1.1905 0.04931 84 70 12 2
3860 I'd like to introduce our new dealer for tonight's strip poker game. 1.1905 0.04310 84 68 16 0
3861 Who invited the human? The least he could do for wearing that ugly outfit is bring donuts. 1.1905 0.04631 84 69 14 1
3862 Is this the post asteroid conference? 1.1905 0.04931 84 70 12 2
3863 We were really looking for someone with more of a Halston style. 1.1905 0.04931 84 70 12 2
3864 Let's welcome the new Secretary of the Treasury to my Cabinet, my daughter's boyfriend Rufus. 1.1905 0.05214 84 71 10 3
3865 We're big on diversity here. 1.1905 0.04631 84 69 14 1
3866 He should be delicious - a real salt of the Earth guy. 1.1905 0.04931 84 70 12 2
3867 Slarvbrt doesn't get to appoint the next president, after his last little joke. 1.1905 0.04931 84 70 12 2
3868 Sydney, they might look like a dog, hideous, or a monster, but HR says you cannot call them that. Only the President of the United States is allowed to do that. 1.1905 0.04931 84 70 12 2
3869 Jennifer Aniston has agreed to join us. 1.1905 0.04931 84 70 12 2
3870 ‘One of us, one of us, we accept you, one of us. 1.1905 0.04931 84 70 12 2
3871 Say hello to George our new board member. I know he looks a little different, but he's very smart. 1.1905 0.04631 84 69 14 1
3872 Let's all try to agree where we're going for lunch. 1.1905 0.04631 84 69 14 1
3873 We're adding a new board member to make us be perceived as more human. 1.1905 0.04931 84 70 12 2
3874 It's weird, I know, but Bob here happens to be the new head of HR. 1.1905 0.05214 84 71 10 3
3875 You all know my brother-in-law, Steve. He will be overseeing each of your departments starting Monday. 1.1905 0.05214 84 71 10 3
3876 ...and so we brought in Kevin to Accounting to account for budget overages in the Boogeyman division. 1.1905 0.04310 84 68 16 0
3877 Brian, ‘Snarflaxes don’t pay gratuities’ isn’t even a real thing. 1.1905 0.05214 84 71 10 3
3878 This is Carl! Says he works with insurance. 1.1905 0.04931 84 70 12 2
3879 I'd like to introduce Jim from accounting. He'll be doing the monster math. 1.1905 0.05214 84 71 10 3
3880 Shocking, yes, which is why we’ll kick off the first show of the Animalis Horribilis season with him. 1.1905 0.04631 84 69 14 1
3881 Everyone, this is Tom, our new diversity manager. 1.1905 0.04631 84 69 14 1
3882 James has come over from Human Resources. 1.1905 0.04631 84 69 14 1
3883 To prove that we never offer plant-based meat, Whatahuman will deliver dozens like him, LIVE to each store. 1.1905 0.05214 84 71 10 3
3884 Stan from HR is here to talk about tamping down our diversity hiring initiatives. 1.1905 0.04931 84 70 12 2
3885 Please forgive him, he thinks it's Halloween. 1.1905 0.04931 84 70 12 2
3886 Suck it up--it's the price you have to pay for your extravagant bonuses--yet another corporate homogeneous sapient for lunch. 1.1905 0.04631 84 69 14 1
3887 The stockholders are challenging our Board of Directors as being dinosaurs. 1.1905 0.04631 84 69 14 1
3888 Mr. Lycanthrope will show you how easy it is to work with only taking twelve days off a year for rest and recreation. 1.1905 0.05214 84 71 10 3
3889 So in today's focus group, we will be asking for your thoughts on diversity. 1.1905 0.04631 84 69 14 1
3890 Accounting reports we had another monster quarter. 1.1905 0.05214 84 71 10 3
3891 I asked you here today to resolve our differences. 1.1905 0.04631 84 69 14 1
3892 The first course has arrived 1.1905 0.04310 84 68 16 0
3893 Sorry, you can't sit with us 1.1905 0.05214 84 71 10 3
3894 after all these years you guys look great; you haven't changed at all. 1.1905 0.04631 84 69 14 1
3895 That’s very creative, Mr. Glorp, but we said no Halloween costumes this year. 1.1905 0.04631 84 69 14 1
3896 Sorry,we are out of Mountain Oysters. 1.1905 0.04931 84 70 12 2
3897 Something you didn't know about George -- he's from Ohio. 1.1905 0.04631 84 69 14 1
3898 I know he is not much to look at but let's welcome him as a junior member of our galactic ruling council. 1.1905 0.04931 84 70 12 2
3899 My name is Maurice; I'll be your waiter. This evening's specials are .... 1.1905 0.04931 84 70 12 2
3900 Well, football mascots are getting stranger every week! 1.1905 0.04631 84 69 14 1
3901 You're so tall you stand out from the crowd. 1.1905 0.04631 84 69 14 1
3902 As part of our duty to enhance affirmative action in our company, let me introduce you to Mr. Weird 1.1905 0.04631 84 69 14 1
3903 Now, just pose as if you are watching the final moments of al-Baghdadi. 1.1905 0.04931 84 70 12 2
3904 The committee was designed by a camel and a horse. 1.1905 0.04931 84 70 12 2
3905 My word, we're the most interesting characters in a corporate diversity ice breaker parable yet! 1.1905 0.04631 84 69 14 1
3906 Overly confident speakers just picture everyone looking dreadful. 1.1905 0.04310 84 68 16 0
3907 Ladies and gentlemen, I believe we need less diversity on this board. 1.1905 0.04931 84 70 12 2
3908 Harold will provide a level of diversity that has been lacking on our board. 1.1905 0.04631 84 69 14 1
3909 Before we start terrorizing the city, our beloved spiritual advisor and fundamentalist megachurch leader Reverend Bob will lead us in prayer. 1.1905 0.04931 84 70 12 2
3910 I think you've all had enough to drink. 1.1905 0.04631 84 69 14 1
3911 No question, it's a position that requires you to be comfortable with a lot of different things... 1.1905 0.04631 84 69 14 1
3912 First of all, I would like to start by acknowledging Jeff who really went the extra light year on that project last week. 1.1905 0.04931 84 70 12 2
3913 You look a little thin-skinned for this group 1.1905 0.04631 84 69 14 1
3914 Hearing no objections to our revised policy of Diversity, meet Norman. 1.1905 0.04931 84 70 12 2
3915 Even diversity has its limits. 1.1905 0.04631 84 69 14 1
3916 I know he's weird looking but the Board voted him in. 1.1905 0.04931 84 70 12 2
3917 Bob here has some findings to share from the focus groups. 1.1905 0.04310 84 68 16 0
3918 Tell the other workers to relax; we have the conference room until 1:00 1.1905 0.04631 84 69 14 1
3919 The prototype's principal limitation is that it requires 8 consecutive hours of daily recharge. 1.1905 0.04931 84 70 12 2
3920 Everyone, it is my pleasure to welcome "Adulthood" to our team. 1.1905 0.04931 84 70 12 2
3921 I'm happy to announce our new head of PR who is joining us after a decade at Big Oil 1.1905 0.05214 84 71 10 3
3922 This is Mr. Smith from the EEOC. Evidently, there's a problem with our "No-Beard" policy. 1.1905 0.04310 84 68 16 0
3923 Let me introduce Guy, our new Diversity Officer. 1.1905 0.04631 84 69 14 1
3924 Just like Tinder, but without the monsters. 1.1905 0.04631 84 69 14 1
3925 Everyone, say hi to Rick, our new diversity consultant! 1.1905 0.04631 84 69 14 1
3926 I welcome you all to the first annual Area 51 Summit. 1.1905 0.04631 84 69 14 1
3927 I know it’s Halloween, but let’s not act as goofy as we look! 1.1905 0.04931 84 70 12 2
3928 I call to order our weekly meeting of the kennel executive committee 1.1905 0.04931 84 70 12 2
3929 This is James, our new diversity officer. 1.1905 0.04631 84 69 14 1
3930 We are gathered here for our annual board meeting and we have a new member, please welcome are very first human board member! 1.1905 0.04931 84 70 12 2
3931 Things are not looking good folks. It's Q4 and we haven't come close to hitting our nightmare quota. 1.1905 0.04931 84 70 12 2
3932 Well, the stockholders demanded diversity on the board, and we listened! 1.1905 0.05214 84 71 10 3
3933 Yes, Ted is a diversity hire. 1.1905 0.04310 84 68 16 0
3934 So a Priest, a Politician and a Clown walk into a bar.. 1.1905 0.04631 84 69 14 1
3935 He's like to immigrate. Can we let him in? 1.1905 0.04631 84 69 14 1
3936 Is this the social committee meeting/ 1.1905 0.04931 84 70 12 2
3937 Hey Steve, your suit is really out of this world! 1.1905 0.05214 84 71 10 3
3938 Going forward, my son-in-law Chaz will be responsible for leading all bedroom closet initiatives. 1.1905 0.04631 84 69 14 1
3939 The Committee on Galactic Diversity will now consider the odd-looking applicant by my side. 1.1905 0.04631 84 69 14 1
3940 Halloween was last week Jerry. 1.1905 0.05482 84 72 8 4
3941 We pride ourselves on having a diverse board 1.1905 0.04631 84 69 14 1
3942 All right, who of you here can actually blow a whistle?? 1.1905 0.04631 84 69 14 1
3943 OK, whose turn is it to have lunch with the new guy? 1.1905 0.04931 84 70 12 2
3944 Dang! Didn't order enough snacks, did we? 1.1905 0.04631 84 69 14 1
3945 Everyone, say hello to Frank. He’ll be heading up Non-Human Relations. 1.1905 0.04631 84 69 14 1
3946 Trump’s lawyer? That is one scary costume Jim. 1.1905 0.04931 84 70 12 2
3947 Medusa regrets she couldn't be with us today. 1.1905 0.04631 84 69 14 1
3948 Someone forgot it is "Casual Friday!!" 1.1905 0.04631 84 69 14 1
3949 A warm welcome to the new guy, even though he wasn't told about our office dress code. 1.1905 0.04631 84 69 14 1
3950 Remember that there’s always an extra place at the table. 1.1905 0.05738 84 73 6 5
3951 And now, we welcome Dave. He's here from Earth to talk about joining us, as they have destroyed their world and will no longer survive unless they move. 1.1905 0.04931 84 70 12 2
3952 Please welcome our new employee, John. He'll manage the human resources department 1.1905 0.05214 84 71 10 3
3953 Dear members of the Cabinet, dear Mr. President, I would like thank you for reading my application and inviting me to this interview... 1.1905 0.04631 84 69 14 1
3954 Send the weirdo out for some snacks 1.1905 0.04631 84 69 14 1
3955 Today's seminar will be led by Burt, from Human Resources. 1.1905 0.04631 84 69 14 1
3956 No. John didn’t bring our snack. He IS our snack. 1.1905 0.04631 84 69 14 1
3957 So. . . . your first 12-Step Program? Introduce yourself. 1.1905 0.04931 84 70 12 2
3958 Where exactly is Jerry Garcia? 1.1905 0.04931 84 70 12 2
3959 I agree Phil. Since that bar scene in Star Wars, we’ve all been type cast. I think at this point we’re going to have to go with it. Everybody in? 1.1905 0.05482 84 72 8 4
3960 Whatever you do, don't look at the human--if you do, you'll go extinct. 1.1905 0.04931 84 70 12 2
3961 Well, I'm glad to see that nothing's changed within the American government! 1.1905 0.04631 84 69 14 1
3962 Welcome to our first meeting of "Aliens Are Innocent," Jerrard over here will take you orders. 1.1905 0.04931 84 70 12 2
3963 I brought Mr. Smork to lead us in a discussion on possibly bringing back our old dress code and if clothes actually DO make the man. 1.1905 0.04931 84 70 12 2
3964 Finally we have a diverse candidate for the Board. 1.1905 0.05214 84 71 10 3
3965 Let's face it, looks alone won't cut it, so on recommendation of Dr. Utterson, we got Wall St. banker Howard Jekyde to talk about his self-help book: "Drinking the CDO-GFC Kool-Aid to reach monster-dom. My inner journey." 1.1905 0.04931 84 70 12 2
3966 Alan soon regretted eating three servings of tiramisu. 1.1905 0.04310 84 68 16 0
3967 I'd like to introduce you all to our new head of human resources. 1.1905 0.04310 84 68 16 0
3968 Bob's a diversity hire. But let's make him feel welcome anyway. 1.1905 0.04631 84 69 14 1
3969 As a reminder, please don’t eat the diversity hire. 1.1905 0.04631 84 69 14 1
3970 This is Chip. He'll be providing lunch. 1.1905 0.04631 84 69 14 1
3971 All right Shoggoth, Dagon, and the rest of you quiet down. Now this is our new accountant Norm, and I know you're all going to make him feel right at home. 1.1905 0.04631 84 69 14 1
3972 Smith is here from HR for our diversity training. 1.1905 0.04931 84 70 12 2
3973 This is Bob. He's our new head of diversity and inclusion. 1.1905 0.04931 84 70 12 2
3974 And now, congratulations to our own Nobel Laureate, for winning the very first Prize for Diversity! 1.1905 0.04310 84 68 16 0
3975 Please be mindful of your diversity training, and let's make Bob from Accounting feel welcomed. 1.1905 0.04931 84 70 12 2
3976 Welcome Mr Smith .I 1.1905 0.05214 84 71 10 3
3977 He's from H.R. We need to work on our diversity statement. 1.1905 0.05214 84 71 10 3
3978 Welcome. Every one is well dressed. Only one is too nervous to sit down. 1.1905 0.04931 84 70 12 2
3979 Welcome to the inaugural meeting of the Ain't Evolution Crazy Society. 1.1905 0.04631 84 69 14 1
3980 I can't speak for the group but the side effects don't seem that bad. 1.1905 0.04931 84 70 12 2
3981 Let the minutes note that the absence of a micro-aggression from this white male in no way invalidates our eating the rest of the board. 1.1905 0.04931 84 70 12 2
3982 Jeff here will be taking the minutes. 1.1905 0.04631 84 69 14 1
3983 Remember, whatever you do, we can't mess it up more than humans did... 1.1905 0.04310 84 70 13 1
3984 You wouldn't know a good caption if it jumped up and bit you on the ass. 1.1905 0.04631 84 69 14 1
3985 Someone didn't get the memo. 1.1905 0.04931 84 70 12 2
3986 All right we’re ready to order. We’ll have 7 Republicans: 2 poached, 2 stir fried , 2 steamed & 1 over easy. 1.1905 0.04931 84 70 12 2
3987 Nice job with the diversity hires. 1.1905 0.04631 84 69 14 1
3988 Please welcome one of the few members of the species Homo sapiens that survived Global Warming. 1.1905 0.04931 84 70 12 2
3989 This is Mr. Jenkins, everyone. We couldn't have a Human Resources Department without Jenkins. 1.1905 0.04931 84 70 12 2
3990 Okay, everybody, let's welcome new employee, Jack Beanstalk, to the Fee, Fi, Fo, Fum Company. 1.1905 0.04631 84 69 14 1
3991 Isn't he just dweebolicious! 1.1905 0.04631 84 69 14 1
3992 What about Thomas Jefferson 1.1905 0.04631 84 69 14 1
3993 The company wanted more diversity, so let's welcome Stanley. 1.1905 0.05482 84 72 8 4
3994 Did everyone have a nice Halloween? 1.1905 0.05214 84 71 10 3
3995 This is Pete. We'll have him leading in the polls for a month and then it'll be Elizabeth's turn. 1.1905 0.04310 84 68 16 0
3996 Well hurry up feed us you human 1.1905 0.04310 84 68 16 0
3997 Today's snack is John. Please take a bite and pass him along. 1.1905 0.04631 84 69 14 1
3998 Told you, you would love Halloween. 1.1905 0.04631 84 69 14 1
3999 Our lunch is here! You prefer him rare, medium, or well-done? 1.1905 0.04631 84 69 14 1
4000 Yeah, I don't know where he came from. Apparently a lot changed since we last went extinct. 1.1905 0.04310 84 68 16 0
4001 And now George will give us an update on our diversity hiring program. 1.1905 0.04931 84 70 12 2
4002 I’d like to introduce you to our new diversity officer. 1.1905 0.04631 84 69 14 1
4003 Our diversity consultant has a few words 1.1905 0.04310 84 68 16 0
4004 And now, Martin has prepared something exotic for us. 1.1905 0.04931 84 70 12 2
4005 He’s here for the munch-n-learn. 1.1905 0.04931 84 70 12 2
4006 Highlighting our corporate our corporate diversity. 1.1905 0.04631 84 69 14 1
4007 Look everyone - Barry the intern is here with our lunch. 1.1905 0.04310 84 68 16 0
4008 This is Doug. He’s going to run our new HR department. 1.1905 0.04931 84 70 12 2
4009 "You guys ready to get really, really rich?" 1.1905 0.04631 84 69 14 1
4010 Please welcome our new Diversity Trainer 1.1905 0.04631 84 69 14 1
4011 I'm hungry, let's crash another Halloween party. 1.1905 0.04631 84 69 14 1
4012 Our first order of business is to approve the mutants. 1.1905 0.04931 84 70 12 2
4013 With his face and our fear mongering, our party is sure to win this election. 1.1905 0.04931 84 70 12 2
4014 Igor's modeling our stylish pullover sweater coat. 1.1905 0.04631 84 69 14 1
4015 This is Miles, the new head of telemarketing. 1.1889 0.04440 90 74 15 1
4016 All in favor of Mr. Bones as Zookeeper say I 1.1882 0.05157 85 72 10 3
4017 We welcome our new member to the Birds of a Feather! 1.1882 0.04582 85 70 14 1
4018 If we don’t move the auditor can’t see us. 1.1882 0.04878 85 71 12 2
4019 Let’s get going! 1.1882 0.05157 85 72 10 3
4020 It's been brought to my attention that we're not doing enough promote diversity. 1.1882 0.04878 85 71 12 2
4021 Be kind to Archibald, our new diversity hire intern. 1.1882 0.04582 85 72 11 2
4022 Let me introduce the new VP of Human Resources. 1.1882 0.04582 85 70 14 1
4023 Mr. Hackett is here to complete our diversity training. 1.1882 0.04582 85 70 14 1
4024 Before we eat them, let's say grace 1.1882 0.04582 85 70 14 1
4025 Introducing our human prototype! 1.1882 0.04582 85 70 14 1
4026 Corporate said we needed more diversity. 1.1882 0.04582 85 70 14 1
4027 I'd like you all to welcome Kenneth, our new diversity hire. 1.1882 0.04582 85 70 14 1
4028 That was delicious, Jeeves. Now please bring out the next human, I mean the next course. 1.1882 0.04582 85 70 14 1
4029 Jamison wants to know who we'd like to eat for a snack. 1.1882 0.04265 85 69 16 0
4030 He says he's from the FBI and he's here to arrest a Dr. Seuss character. 1.1882 0.04582 85 70 14 1
4031 Next on the agenda is the motion to increase diversity on the board. 1.1882 0.04265 85 69 16 0
4032 This is Steve. He's a diversity hire. 1.1882 0.04582 85 70 14 1
4033 This is Howard. He's from the Diversity office. 1.1882 0.04265 85 69 16 0
4034 G8 or "Gee, Ate"? 1.1868 0.04920 91 77 11 3
4035 If your name is Rex pull a chair. 1.1829 0.04947 82 69 11 2
4036 Can we get some water and a dam menu on this planet? 1.1829 0.04947 82 69 11 2
4037 ...and lastly allow me to introduce Bob who was recently transferred here from our branch office in Cleveland, Earth. 1.1829 0.04947 82 69 11 2
4038 Well folks, this is my new discovery. I call it a human being. 1.1829 0.04947 82 69 11 2
4039 Frights at the rectangular table. 1.1829 0.04947 82 69 11 2
4040 This is Ryan from our Un-Human Resources department. 1.1829 0.04947 82 69 11 2
4041 And now Steve from HR is going to talk about our dress code. 1.1829 0.04947 82 69 11 2
4042 Now that lunch is here, we can begin our meeting. 1.1829 0.04633 82 68 13 1
4043 Star Wars? No. Diversity. 1.1829 0.04633 82 68 13 1
4044 This is my nephew. Be nice. 1.1829 0.04296 82 67 15 0
4045 Lunch time”-are there condiments 1.1829 0.04947 82 69 11 2
4046 Let me remind you of our policy of welcoming all species. 1.1829 0.04947 82 69 11 2
4047 I'm beginning to wonder why we have a Human Resources department at all. 1.1829 0.05243 82 70 9 3
4048 Next item on the agenda, I thought we could address that Patrick is just a naked man with a spoon head and maybe we need to set higher standards for membership, no offense intended to Patrick. 1.1774 0.05874 62 53 7 2
4049 PETA’s wet dream 1.1774 0.05874 62 53 7 2
4050 I'm sure polygamy was just as alien to each one of us at some point, too. 1.1772 0.05018 79 67 10 2
4051 As visitors, we don’t want to destroy them. We want to go on a cruise! 1.1772 0.04324 79 65 14 0
4052 Fellow nightmares, this is Doug. He stumbled his way to the top, schedules Monday morning meetings and took an improv class in college. 1.1772 0.04324 79 65 14 0
4053 All in favor, say Igor. 1.1772 0.05018 79 67 10 2
4054 Scratching the table won't make your orders show up any faster, so just relax, maybe sing a bit, chat, have fun guys! 1.1772 0.04684 79 66 12 1
4055 The two-eyes have it! We'll eat the human for lunch. 1.1772 0.05332 79 68 8 3
4056 I’ve reviewed our earnings forecast and, frankly, it’s a bit scary. 1.1772 0.04684 79 66 12 1
4057 The newcomer, called human, has quite different appearance from us, but he'll soon buddy up to each of you, as he is the being of the matching nature with us. 1.1772 0.05018 79 67 10 2
4058 Please welcome the face of our aberrant species collection. 1.1772 0.04684 79 66 12 1
4059 Meet my latest recruit. Tom here is living proof that I do not hire in my own image 1.1772 0.04684 79 66 12 1
4060 We found him on Halloween night but he insists it’s not a costume ! 1.1772 0.04684 79 66 12 1
4061 Where’s the boat builder? 1.1772 0.05018 79 67 10 2
4062 It has come to my attention that our shareholders are concerned about the lack of diversity amongst the board members. 1.1772 0.04324 79 65 14 0
4063 As you may have guessed, you've been selected to serve on the diversity committee. 1.1772 0.04324 79 65 14 0
4064 That's just a crock. 1.1772 0.05332 79 68 8 3
4065 Nice costume, but Halloween is next week. 1.1772 0.05018 79 67 10 2
4066 He certainly is weird-looking. 1.1772 0.04684 79 66 12 1
4067 Hey, everybody! Welcome Burt from accounting, who I'm told is a total monster! 1.1772 0.05332 79 68 8 3
4068 Don't be alarmed he is very tame. 1.1772 0.05018 79 67 10 2
4069 I asked Bob from Human Resources to stop by and say a few words. 1.1772 0.04684 79 66 12 1
4070 Please welcome our first white male to the Club of Undesirables. 1.1772 0.04684 79 66 12 1
4071 Sorry about my cough, but I picked up a little something down on Earth. 1.1772 0.04684 79 66 12 1
4072 Since we each have so much in common, let’s forget about our differences 1.1772 0.05018 79 67 10 2
4073 He was hoping for a better deal from corporate America after the devil offered to buy his soul 1.1772 0.04684 79 66 12 1
4074 I know he looks creepy, but the "diversity" initiative was not my idea. 1.1772 0.04684 79 66 12 1
4075 So I have two peanut allergies and one lactose intolerant. Anything else I should be aware of? 1.1772 0.05018 79 67 10 2
4076 So,who ordered the fish? 1.1772 0.04684 79 66 12 1
4077 Now that Giuliani has made him look like a Boy Scout by comparison, Mr. Cohen has some interesting ideas of how to revamp our own public image. Please welcome our new In-House Counsel, Michael. 1.1772 0.04684 79 66 12 1
4078 This is really weird. He calls them "coat and tie". 1.1772 0.04684 79 66 12 1
4079 Ok everyone, I have a plan of attack against the rats.” 1.1772 0.05018 79 67 10 2
4080 It's better than an angry toddler. 1.1772 0.04324 79 65 14 0
4081 So, all in favor of eating my assistant say "Aye" 1.1772 0.04684 79 66 12 1
4082 The report finds that social media will replace beds and closets within the next year. 1.1772 0.05332 79 68 8 3
4083 Chauncey heaved a desperate sigh of relief and gave himself a mental pat on the back as he narrowly made his deadline for the children’s vitamin pill and breakfast cereal focus group. 1.1750 0.04630 80 67 12 1
4084 Mr. Bentley will represent the Dark Money on our Board 1.1750 0.04630 80 67 12 1
4085 Anybody need anything from the aquarium? 1.1750 0.04275 80 66 14 0
4086 Stanley here has joined our team as a computer programmer. Give him a warm welcome, and I don't want to hear any nerd jokes. 1.1750 0.04630 80 67 12 1
4087 Why don’t we have more diversity in the boardroom? 1.1750 0.04275 80 66 14 0
4088 Now you all know why we call it Human Resources. 1.1750 0.04630 80 67 12 1
4089 We accept you, one of us! Gooble Gobble! 1.1750 0.04630 80 67 12 1
4090 This is Aaron. He's our new compliance guy. 1.1750 0.05270 80 69 8 3
4091 I'd like to congratulate Jim on his promotion to Head of Marketing. He has doubled our customer base by rebranding beds as furniture to sleep on, not just under. 1.1750 0.04630 80 67 12 1
4092 Sorry. This is Animals Alliance, not Alcoholics Anonymous. 1.1750 0.04275 80 66 14 0
4093 You're all behaving like animals for God sake! 1.1750 0.04630 80 67 12 1
4094 Any Mars Hotel jokes and you're outta here. 1.1750 0.04960 80 68 10 2
4095 And now I would like to introduce the human gentleman who is going to speak to you frankly about the Alien Exclusion Act. 1.1750 0.04275 80 66 14 0
4096 Who's the new guy? 1.1750 0.04630 80 67 12 1
4097 I'm sure we all can agree that diversity is welcomed here on the job. 1.1750 0.04630 80 67 12 1
4098 Since our core product is Human Capital Management software, I think it's about time we added a human to the sales team. 1.1750 0.04630 80 67 12 1
4099 Who's for Trump ? 1.1750 0.05270 80 69 8 3
4100 Kevin here is taking orders for Chipotle, so just let him know what you’d like to regurgitate. 1.1750 0.05270 80 69 8 3
4101 Their ancient weapon is called spanking, the pain is worse than death. 1.1750 0.04630 80 67 12 1
4102 I emphasise: Jake is NOT a token human. We take diversity seriously here but he was hired on his merits. 1.1750 0.04960 80 68 10 2
4103 Don’t let his appearance fool you; he’s with the White House. 1.1750 0.05270 80 69 8 3
4104 At least he’s wearing a monkey suit. 1.1750 0.04630 80 67 12 1
4105 Thank you, Mr. Smith, for you assurances that our Swamp is not to be drained as part of the current Administration's plans; however, I am still concerned about the potential sale of the mineral and drilling rights to our swampland. 1.1750 0.04960 80 68 10 2
4106 Everyone, please say 'hello' the the new Chief Conformity Officer, Kevin. 1.1750 0.04960 80 68 10 2
4107 Our newest member. Class: sex monster, scare tactic of choice: inability to remember the definition of consent. 1.1750 0.05270 80 69 8 3
4108 Ladies and gentlemen, Mr. Marshall is here to discuss regime change 1.1750 0.04630 80 67 12 1
4109 Don't blame me, I voted for Kodos 1.1750 0.04960 80 68 10 2
4110 Just a little cabinet turnover, Mick. 1.1750 0.04630 80 67 12 1
4111 Gentlemen, our new COO. I think he'll fit right in with us! 1.1750 0.04630 80 67 12 1
4112 Mr Jackson is our new field manager. The word for all of you from the Main Office: Don't eat this one. 1.1750 0.04960 80 68 10 2
4113 Micky here is still a little "green behind the ears" ... something we all had to deal with one time or another. 1.1750 0.04630 80 67 12 1
4114 I'll only vote in case of a tie. 1.1750 0.05270 80 69 8 3
4115 Please welcome the famous scientist Dr. Jones who's here to tell us about asteroids. 1.1750 0.04630 80 67 12 1
4116 Who's up for a little show and tell? 1.1750 0.04275 80 66 14 0
4117 As we meet our new employee, try not to react to his strange look. 1.1728 0.04227 81 67 14 0
4118 Nobody said choosing our next presidential candidate would be pretty.. 1.1728 0.04578 81 68 12 1
4119 Do we have a quorum? 1.1728 0.04227 81 67 14 0
4120 We did a thorough background check and he's actually a real monster. 1.1728 0.04903 81 69 10 2
4121 Roger here has called this meeting to ask us, formerly his worst nightmares, to back off until the election is over. 1.1728 0.05209 81 70 8 3
4122 Please welcome our new staff member. He's a diversity hire, owing to his big ears. 1.1728 0.04903 81 69 10 2
4123 when all your friends are busy so you have to call your backup 1.1728 0.04903 81 69 10 2
4124 Look at this guy's stupid haircut 1.1728 0.04903 81 69 10 2
4125 The President will join us shortly and he wanted me to let you know how pleased he is that you've accepted your cabinet positions. 1.1728 0.04903 81 69 10 2
4126 I asked are you all in, not are you ail-e-in! 1.1728 0.04903 81 69 10 2
4127 He wasn’t hired first his head. He was hired for his face. 1.1728 0.04903 81 69 10 2
4128 Thought this was a potluck... 1.1728 0.04227 81 67 14 0
4129 Let's bump heads on this. 1.1728 0.04578 81 68 12 1
4130 OK guys I’m thinking anything with alien in it is a little alienating so we should probably stick to earthly terms for our superior service 1.1728 0.04227 81 67 14 0
4131 We are here to affirm that Mr. Smith's pants are an entirely appropriate choice for the office. 1.1728 0.04578 81 68 12 1
4132 We take a vote. Should we keep him? 1.1728 0.04578 81 68 12 1
4133 Democrats blame us but we're not bad. We're just drawn that way. 1.1728 0.04578 81 68 12 1
4134 I know you all are hungry, but it is a little early for lunch to arrive. 1.1728 0.04578 81 68 12 1
4135 Well, if it ain’t one thing it’s another. 1.1728 0.05497 81 71 6 4
4136 Meet our newest employee Bob. Please forgive his bizarre appearance. 1.1728 0.04903 81 69 10 2
4137 We ate the other jurors, but they voted guilty. 1.1728 0.04903 81 69 10 2
4138 Please welcome our newest distrustee. 1.1707 0.04527 82 69 12 1
4139 ...and in our continuing effort to integrate Fred will become our new CFO. Sorry Dot. 1.1707 0.04527 82 69 12 1
4140 No, Jim is lunch, he’s here to take your orde 1.1707 0.04848 82 70 10 2
4141 Don from accounting will be assisting us today 1.1707 0.04181 82 68 14 0
4142 Our newest board member, Jerry is a white-male. Now he may not appear all that scary on the surface, but just give him a chance. 1.1688 0.04678 77 65 11 1
4143 That'll be two ham and cheese, 3 turkey clubs, and a burger no cheese. Thanks. 1.1688 0.04297 77 64 13 0
4144 OK, some of you aren't looking 18–24." 1.1688 0.05030 77 66 9 2
4145 This is Stanley from Earth, we've brought him in for his expertise on beer, babes, baseball and buffalo wings. 1.1688 0.04297 77 64 13 0
4146 One of us, one of us, higgle piggle, one of us...! 1.1688 0.04678 77 65 11 1
4147 This is Bob from security. Apparently 300,000 thousand people signed a Facebook petition and will be barging in next week. 1.1688 0.05030 77 66 9 2
4148 The human wants to know which one of us gave him genital warts. 1.1688 0.05030 77 66 9 2
4149 Stan, strutting around sporting that phallic necktie is seen as a middle finder to the Corporate Casual Policy put in place to level the playing field for all genders. 1.1667 0.05294 78 68 7 3
4150 Please welcome our new management diversity guru. 1.1667 0.04623 78 66 11 1
4151 Let's welcome Myron who finally came out from under my bed. 1.1667 0.04623 78 66 11 1
4152 This company has never had a problem with biodiversity... 1.1667 0.04247 78 65 13 0
4153 Please pull up a chair and join us, Mr. Sapians 1.1667 0.04970 78 67 9 2
4154 For what is that thing that ties your neck, Mr President? 1.1667 0.04970 78 67 9 2
4155 Mr. Jones will take your orders for the deli. 1.1667 0.04970 78 67 9 2
4156 We all see it, he’s touching you. 1.1667 0.05294 78 68 7 3
4157 We've hired Bob to help us with our too much diversity issue. 1.1667 0.04623 78 68 8 2
4158 You won't find a "yes-man" in this boardroom. 1.1667 0.04970 78 67 9 2
4159 Please welcome our affirmative-action hire, who says he'd rather not take his clothes off... 1.1667 0.04970 78 67 9 2
4160 Personnel is here today to talk about the increasing of amount of PDA occurring in our workplace. 1.1667 0.04623 78 66 11 1
4161 What or Who is for Lunch ? 1.1667 0.04623 78 66 11 1
4162 Shuffle the deck. He gets the joker. We take the wild card. 1.1667 0.04623 78 66 11 1
4163 This genetic engineering thing is cool: That scientist over there calls me a pigagator. 1.1667 0.04623 78 66 11 1
4164 And now onto item 27 in the Global Emissions Standards Repeal and Toddler Barbecue Act. 1.1667 0.04970 78 67 9 2
4165 Let me remind you of this companies commitment to hire more minorities. 1.1667 0.04623 78 66 11 1
4166 Stop acting like a bunch of animals! 1.1667 0.04623 78 66 11 1
4167 Meet Smith, our HR temp. 1.1667 0.04970 78 67 9 2
4168 He says "Amazon welcomes you to the first inter-galactic delivery conference" 1.1667 0.04970 78 67 9 2
4169 All in favor of ousting the human say ‘aye’ 1.1667 0.04623 78 66 11 1
4170 I'd like you to all to welcome our new agent, code name Denzel. 1.1667 0.04970 78 67 9 2
4171 I want to introduce the most recently evolved member of the board of directors. 1.1667 0.04623 78 66 11 1
4172 Not only does our new board member appear to be highly qualified, he also looks absolutely delicious! 1.1667 0.04970 78 67 9 2
4173 Hey, hey, way to get your freak on, Derrick. 1.1667 0.04247 78 65 13 0
4174 Ralph is here today to pitch a show about freaks of nature 1.1667 0.04247 78 65 13 0
4175 Your outstanding differences may break or take you to the 2020 Election. 1.1667 0.04623 78 66 11 1
4176 Dr. Seuss's Brain 1.1667 0.04623 78 66 11 1
4177 I guess I didn-7d09-4f47-af67-accf159608ec.dd12757f-efa3-45d5-8db4-4a40e720a80b.15724 1.1667 0.04247 78 65 13 0
4178 Our stockholders are accusing me of nepotism. 1.1667 0.04623 78 65 11 1
4179 Our newest member of Monsters Incorporated, Jared Kushner. 1.1667 0.04247 78 65 13 0
4180 Buttshit , do you have to always bring your trophy to these board meetings? 1.1667 0.04970 78 67 9 2
4181 Oliver here will be the new head of QA/QC in Transmogrification. 1.1667 0.04970 78 67 9 2
4182 Yup, I used to work in accounting. But I’ve had up to here with all those freaks. 1.1667 0.04247 78 65 13 0
4183 Meet Marvin, our newest Oddfellow Club member 1.1667 0.04970 78 67 9 2
4184 Bob the consultant has informed me that we are all naked! 1.1667 0.05294 78 68 7 3
4185 I know it's Halloween, but I find that costume totally unbelievable. 1.1667 0.04623 78 66 11 1
4186 Thanks to da Boss, the swamp welcomes you to the table. 1.1667 0.04623 78 66 11 1
4187 Not to worry, you're all scarier than a recession 1.1667 0.05294 78 68 7 3
4188 I declare that our board room is now sufficiently diverse. 1.1667 0.04623 78 66 11 1
4189 Let's try an app instead human translators aren't working out. 1.1667 0.04247 78 65 13 0
4190 I believe our diversity program a rousing success. 1.1667 0.04623 78 66 11 1
4191 No one can accuse me of breaking my promise to clear the D.C. swamp. 1.1667 0.04623 78 66 11 1
4192 We can’t use “Breakfast of Champions.” That’s been done already. Think of something else. 1.1667 0.04247 78 65 13 0
4193 This is Jerry, he's the new head of Human Resources! 1.1667 0.04247 78 65 13 0
4194 Yes, I may be stepping down, but I can’t think of anyone more fitting to take my place than Greg. 1.1667 0.04623 78 66 11 1
4195 The only excuse I can think of for us still not having menus is that we're eating you which is fine I guess 1.1667 0.04247 78 65 13 0
4196 I know, I know...times are changing and so should we 1.1667 0.04623 78 66 11 1
4197 I brought in a human consultant so he could teach us how to be real monsters. 1.1667 0.04970 78 67 9 2
4198 Please welcome Joel as our new Diversity Coordinator. 1.1667 0.04247 78 65 13 0
4199 All in favor say “Aieeeee!” 1.1667 0.04623 78 66 11 1
4200 Look who we're having for lunch. 1.1667 0.04623 78 66 11 1
4201 Hiding in closets and under beds is no longer enough to scare kids. Ted, is here to help us. 1.1667 0.04970 78 67 9 2
4202 He says they don't serve minors. 1.1667 0.04970 78 67 9 2
4203 Is he buying lunch? _Or is he lunch. 1.1667 0.04970 78 67 9 2
4204 Look at this weirdo 1.1667 0.04623 78 66 11 1
4205 Ugh,There must be something in the mashed potatoes. 1.1667 0.04623 78 66 11 1
4206 It would be great to see some three-spirited folks come out. 1.1667 0.02837 78 68 10 0
4207 As many of our more health-aware clients choose the vegetarian option, please meet our new menu item—the “Impossible Sapien.” 1.1667 0.04970 78 67 9 2
4208 Sorry guys, I know you were hoping for one from Venus, not Mars. 1.1667 0.04623 78 66 11 1
4209 Everyone, this is Dave, our new Human-Monster Public Relations Manager. He's going to fix everything you guys started 1.1667 0.04247 78 65 13 0
4210 Everyone, this is Paul. He will be heading Human Resources. 1.1667 0.04623 78 66 11 1
4211 I think we will take the last 5 minutes of this meeting tying up some odds and ends 1.1667 0.04623 78 66 11 1
4212 Wait till the clowns up in Congress hear about this! 1.1667 0.04623 78 66 11 1
4213 That's a strange proposal. 1.1667 0.04247 78 65 13 0
4214 He carries no food for the imagination. Robert Karsh 314 727 7235 1.1667 0.04247 78 65 13 0
4215 Welp, now I really have seen everything. 1.1667 0.05294 78 68 7 3
4216 Do we accept this guy or eat him? 1.1667 0.04623 78 66 11 1
4217 Stop drooling Drag-on. He’s not a steak tip. He’s giving us fashion tips . 1.1667 0.04247 78 65 13 0
4218 Members of the Board: Profits are down for the 2nd quarter in a row. Do we fire our CEO, or, do we eat him? 1.1667 0.04247 78 65 13 0
4219 May the Annual Meeting of the 'Too Often Overlooked' convene! Welcome, All! " JK Fuller, Genoa, N 1.1667 0.04247 78 65 13 0
4220 Uh hi there fellow...monsters. Heh. I mean... 1.1667 0.04970 78 67 9 2
4221 A lotta nerve bringing an investment banker in here, Flork... 1.1667 0.04623 78 66 11 1
4222 Our HR director would like to pitch his plan to hire more humans—he thinks it could lower labor costs. 1.1667 0.05600 78 69 5 4
4223 You’re just too demonstrative with others. 1.1667 0.04623 78 66 11 1
4224 Welcome to The Benefits of Devolving 1.1667 0.04247 78 67 9 1
4225 OK! We'll have three vegetarian medleys, three meat lovers delights and a plate of worms and parsley for the table 1.1667 0.04623 78 66 11 1
4226 I vote we make the weirdo do the dirty work 1.1667 0.04623 78 66 11 1
4227 So - A linear budget and 30 day detail reports - How's that work for you guys? 1.1667 0.04623 78 66 11 1
4228 SORRY. I THOUGHT THIS COMPANY OFFERED BETTER MID-MORNING SNACKS . 1.1667 0.04623 78 66 11 1
4229 We need the dues.... 1.1667 0.04970 78 67 9 2
4230 This is Dave, our new team member. Give him a big welcoming grunt, hiss, howl, cluck, growl, or snarl. 1.1667 0.04623 78 66 11 1
4231 Everyone, welcome Gary, he will be leading our rebranding efforts for the next quarter. 1.1667 0.04247 78 65 13 0
4232 He swears he has a reptilian brain. 1.1667 0.04623 78 66 11 1
4233 Today Jason will be presenting on, "Why We Need H.R." Jason,... 1.1667 0.04970 78 67 9 2
4234 Now that we don't have to wear those stuffy costumes anymore, let's get down to business. 1.1667 0.04623 78 66 11 1
4235 Here comes the extraterrestrial ! 1.1667 0.04623 78 66 11 1
4236 So...can we agree that supper has arrived? 1.1667 0.04623 78 66 11 1
4237 So let's review the new dress code 1.1667 0.04623 78 66 11 1
4238 All in favor of a diversity higher say are 1.1646 0.04911 79 68 9 2
4239 I would recommend today's special. It's out of this world. 1.1622 0.04724 74 63 10 1
4240 Let’s go around the room to hear your loyalty to me, the greatest President this country has ever known 1.1622 0.05101 74 64 8 2
4241 I know he looks strange but lets give him a chance. 1.1622 0.04314 74 62 12 0
4242 Steve comes fully qualified with creature features; comfort and habit. 1.1622 0.04724 74 63 10 1
4243 First that Sonora, now this Annabelle. Will we let a couple girls out scare us? 1.1622 0.04724 74 63 10 1
4244 I guess we can always order some Chinese takeout! 1.1622 0.04314 74 62 12 0
4245 Today's lunch and learn is being provided by Behemoth's deli. 1.1622 0.04314 74 62 12 0
4246 And here to represent us in our slander suit against Toho Productions... 1.1622 0.05451 74 65 6 3
4247 So we're all agreed, even though we all come from different galaxies, humans do the best tables and chairs. 1.1622 0.05101 74 64 8 2
4248 Once the human brings us donuts and coffee, the meeting will begin. 1.1622 0.05101 74 64 8 2
4249 Please welcome our lunch...I mean visitor...to the Roswell City Council Meeting 1.1622 0.05101 74 64 8 2
4250 We have a facilitator today because some of us have never been on a committee before. 1.1622 0.05101 74 64 8 2
4251 This Hooman first day. All say welcome Hooman. 1.1622 0.04314 74 62 12 0
4252 We'll be braking for lunch shortly, so I've arranged for you to view the featured main course. 1.1622 0.04724 74 63 10 1
4253 This is Javier Garcia Nunez from Public Relations. He's going to help us convince the public we aren't the monsters they think we are. 1.1622 0.04724 74 63 10 1
4254 What really brings in the block buster bucks is less plot and more special effects. 1.1622 0.04724 74 63 10 1
4255 I'm sure you'll all agree that Milton here brings some much-needed diversity to the Board of Directors. 1.1622 0.04314 74 62 12 0
4256 Kind people are kinda people 1.1622 0.04314 74 62 12 0
4257 None of us believe in you anymore. 1.1622 0.04724 74 63 10 1
4258 We'll break for lunch. 1.1622 0.04724 74 63 10 1
4259 I don’t know about the new guy..he looks like a weirdo to me. 1.1622 0.04724 74 63 10 1
4260 The Chair recognizes, er, recognizes, er, recognizes, er.......... 1.1622 0.05101 74 64 8 2
4261 We apparently have an image problem, and Ted's expertise might help. We can hire him-- or we can eat him. 1.1622 0.04724 74 63 10 1
4262 Sorry, I'm not delicious! 1.1622 0.04724 74 63 10 1
4263 Allow me to introduce our new head of diversity and inclusion. 1.1622 0.04724 74 63 10 1
4264 Who called this meeting? 1.1622 0.04724 74 63 10 1
4265 Pierre will take your order, but we only serve vegan here. 1.1622 0.05451 74 65 6 3
4266 The first point in the agenda is how to decrease diversity in the workplace 1.1622 0.04724 74 63 10 1
4267 I've long yearned for a seat at the table. 1.1622 0.05101 74 64 8 2
4268 And I’ve asked Dan to lead our Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion committee. 1.1622 0.04314 74 62 12 0
4269 Rick from Accounting has joined us to help review the offers in hand from Netflix, Amazon, Hulu, Disney+ and HBO. 1.1622 0.04724 74 63 10 1
4270 I’ve heard the new hire has a Diploma in being late 1.1622 0.05101 74 64 8 2
4271 Welcome to the "who should replace Trump?" workshop 1.1622 0.04724 74 63 10 1
4272 Hi, I’m Charles Addams filling in for Dr. Seuss this week! 1.1622 0.04724 74 63 10 1
4273 Tell this freak to go get me a coffee. 1.1622 0.05101 74 64 8 2
4274 This is Clifford, our new intern. 1.1622 0.05101 74 64 8 2
4275 Do we eat this guy for lunch or grab his keys and take over his apartment? 1.1622 0.04314 74 62 12 0
4276 OK! The President needs to fill these cabinet posts NOW! 1.1622 0.05101 74 64 8 2
4277 This is Ken from HR, who wants to thank the Board for its pledge to diversity. 1.1622 0.04314 74 62 12 0
4278 Yes, we do have a quorum so we can indeed eat him. 1.1622 0.05101 74 64 8 2
4279 All those in favor of the proposition, raise ... something." 1.1622 0.05451 74 65 6 3
4280 Phil from the diversity office says we have to interview him. 1.1622 0.04314 74 62 12 0
4281 This is Jeff. He’s from Creature Resources. 1.1622 0.04724 74 63 10 1
4282 I motion we break for lunch and eat Dave, obviously. 1.1622 0.05101 74 63 8 2
4283 He's replacing the elephant in the room. 1.1622 0.05101 74 64 8 2
4284 Bob here is no stranger to probing for details. 1.1622 0.05101 74 64 8 2
4285 This is a clean freak from Earth. His job will be to remove the claw marks from our table top. 1.1622 0.05101 74 64 8 2
4286 ...and for the herbivores I recommend the Caesar salad. 1.1622 0.05101 74 64 8 2
4287 Sorry, Luke had to pay for a walker, no extra money to pay for our salaries. 1.1622 0.04314 74 62 12 0
4288 Bill joins our company as our spokesman, after serving in the Trump Administration. We feel his background is uniquely qualified to represent Monsters, Inc as a our spin-guy. 1.1622 0.05101 74 64 8 2
4289 You are right, Slither. Without further ado, let's address the elephant in the room. 1.1622 0.04724 74 63 10 1
4290 Everyone this is Dan... he's going to help us navigate the government's immigration ban on monsters. 1.1622 0.04314 74 62 12 0
4291 So who's the scariest one of all? 1.1622 0.04724 74 63 10 1
4292 Meet Ralph. He is first in line in our attempt to diversify our staff here at Creature Monthly. 1.1622 0.04724 74 63 10 1
4293 If you become an employee of this firm, you will make your first million within three years. Okay? I'm gonna repeat that. You will make a million dollars within three years of your first day of employment at J.T. Marlin. 1.1622 0.04314 74 62 12 0
4294 Please join me in welcoming Carl as the newest Director of Human Outreach. 1.1622 0.04724 74 63 10 1
4295 Me and da' boss tanks youse guys for scaring the crap outta' dem pesky trick or treaters.” 1.1622 0.04724 74 63 10 1
4296 My mistake, I thought this was the support group for coming out of the closet. 1.1622 0.04724 74 63 10 1
4297 I see lunch has arrived - let's take a break. 1.1622 0.04724 74 63 10 1
4298 Our PR team said we need more diversity on our Board of Directors so here we are 1.1622 0.05101 74 64 8 2
4299 'So I said to him, don't wear that, you'll look silly. What can I say? There's no telling these humans.' 1.1622 0.04724 74 63 10 1
4300 It is our guest. Please show some respect. 1.1622 0.05101 74 64 8 2
4301 Did someone forget to tell Bob it's casual Friday? 1.1622 0.05451 74 65 6 3
4302 Eat him, hell! We’re going to take him back to our home planet and star him in a sci-fi movie.” 1.1622 0.04724 74 63 10 1
4303 Remember, we are an equal opportunity employer. 1.1622 0.05451 74 65 6 3
4304 He’s fired everyone else. 1.1622 0.05101 74 64 8 2
4305 Sorry Andy, Jim here says everyone really loved the board game, just not the part where they had to yell "Non humans rule!" before winning. 1.1622 0.04724 74 63 10 1
4306 As our new public relations chief, Paul here will be the face of the company from now on. 1.1622 0.04724 74 63 10 1
4307 Who said focus groups had to be non-threatening? 1.1622 0.04724 74 63 10 1
4308 Don't look so alarmed: just because Bob's in therapy doesn't mean we'll *all* be out of work! 1.1622 0.05101 74 64 8 2
4309 It's true we left you out of the loop, but John, it's not called "ghosting" if none of us are ghosts. 1.1622 0.05451 74 65 6 3
4310 Where is my piggy bank?" F. D. Herawat 1.1622 0.04724 74 63 10 1
4311 Its taken a long time for us to recognize our monstrous privilege, but we are ready to make room for you at the table. 1.1622 0.04724 74 63 10 1
4312 Okay Team, Now Let's Show Our Competitors What a Really Diverse Workforce Can Do! 1.1622 0.05101 74 64 8 2
4313 If we're going to fit in, we're all going to need a sports coat and tie. 1.1622 0.04724 74 63 10 1
4314 This new clown craze is bad for the bottom line. I need ideas, people! 1.1622 0.04724 74 63 10 1
4315 Now turn to the person on your right smile, and say ‘Please don’t eat me’. 1.1622 0.05101 74 64 8 2
4316 As we try and take our company universal, we need more diversity on our board so we are bringing in a white man. 1.1622 0.04314 74 62 12 0
4317 Shush, here comes that funny looking alien. 1.1622 0.04724 74 63 10 1
4318 I mean, I thought they tasted pretty good, but I’m just not sure I’d buy a snack food called Area 51. 1.1622 0.05101 74 64 8 2
4319 A round of applause for our newest member, please. 1.1622 0.04724 74 63 10 1
4320 Creepy, yes. Kooky, definitely. Not good enough, team. Who’s going to get us to the “Altogether Ooky” level? 1.1622 0.05101 74 64 8 2
4321 What do you mean they won't take us seriously?? 1.1622 0.04724 74 63 10 1
4322 Levenger here is our new intern in charge of social media. 1.1622 0.04724 74 63 10 1
4323 This is Professor Rossum, this year's Hallowe'en dining table humane techniques monitor? 1.1622 0.04724 74 63 10 1
4324 Now tell us, where did our funding for human survival go? 1.1622 0.04724 74 63 10 1
4325 Except for the guy standing at my left, there's more that holds us together than separates us. 1.1622 0.04724 74 63 10 1
4326 Thanks to Citizen's United, all of us are equal to one of him.” 1.1622 0.05101 74 64 8 2
4327 Well it took a while, but our board diversity is finally starting to- wait, are any of you women? 1.1622 0.04724 74 63 10 1
4328 In the spirit of diversity, please welcome a new member to our team. 1.1622 0.04724 74 63 10 1
4329 Cheer up, he prefers to stay at the bottom of the food chain." 1.1622 0.04314 74 62 12 0
4330 Believe me, a vote for him portends extinction for us! 1.1622 0.04724 74 63 10 1
4331 It is important that we tolerate differences among us because we celebrate diversity in our firm - but I must acknowledge that he is the only one who wears clothes 1.1622 0.04724 74 63 10 1
4332 Thanks for coming down Bob, we wanted to get an outsider's perspective on the new campaign. 1.1622 0.04724 74 63 10 1
4333 This is Stan. He's going to be the new head of Human Resources. 1.1622 0.05451 74 65 6 3
4334 Why didn’t anyone get dressed for Halloween ? 1.1622 0.04724 74 63 10 1
4335 Which one of you is the odd man out? 1.1622 0.04314 74 62 12 0
4336 I’d like you to meet John Smith. Don’t let the costume scare you. He’s just like us underneath. 1.1622 0.05101 74 64 8 2
4337 Thank you for being part of Halloween 365 24/7. 1.1622 0.04724 74 63 10 1
4338 'This is the best Board of Directors our company. Trophy LLC, has ever had!". 1.1622 0.04724 74 63 10 1
4339 Progressive...I dare say we have the most diverse corporate board in the United States... 1.1622 0.05451 74 65 6 3
4340 I know he's a little freaky looking, but hiring him will help with our diversity goals. 1.1622 0.04314 74 62 12 0
4341 We're bringing in Harvey, since he writes monsters with such authenticity. 1.1622 0.04314 74 62 12 0
4342 We'll call this meeting to order, but first give this nice man your your drink orders. serena carroll 1.1622 0.05101 74 64 8 2
4343 Leonard here, is an attorney who's going to help us unionize. 1.1622 0.05101 74 64 8 2
4344 Oh, ladies! No makeup today? 1.1622 0.05101 74 64 8 2
4345 And, briefly, before we put the motion to a vote, Melvin from Corporate Social Responsibility is here to provide us with a non-monstrous veiwpoint. 1.1622 0.04724 74 63 10 1
4346 ''Really an ODIOUS work to GREET among the FUNNIEST'' 1.1622 0.04724 74 63 10 1
4347 So please join me in welcoming our new committee member, and don't be distracted by the polymer coating referred to as "clothing." 1.1622 0.04314 74 62 12 0
4348 The administration would like our assistance at their border facilities. You guys up for that? 1.1622 0.04314 74 62 12 0
4349 We will not tolerate minority homeowners organizing. 1.1622 0.04724 74 63 10 1
4350 This is Matthews from HR. Apparently certain departments are eating too many interns. 1.1622 0.05101 74 64 8 2
4351 Remember sophistication is not a perquisite for admittance to the Milky Way Advanced Plant council. 1.1622 0.04724 74 63 10 1
4352 Is he animal, vegetable or mineral? Oh, who cares! Let's eat! 1.1622 0.05101 74 64 8 2
4353 I was looking for more interesting ideas not more interesting looks, but I guess this is okay. 1.1622 0.04314 74 62 12 0
4354 For a different perspective on Climate Change, I invited Mr. Smith from the automotive industry. 1.1622 0.04724 74 63 10 1
4355 Do you recommend the garçon? 1.1622 0.04724 74 63 10 1
4356 Look who woke up from his 300 year nap! 1.1622 0.05101 74 64 8 2
4357 Bob here says enough with energy drinks and job placement, let's just hide under children's beds. 1.1622 0.04724 74 63 10 1
4358 I brought the lawyer because things are starting to get scary. 1.1622 0.04314 74 62 12 0
4359 I've asked Bob to join us today as an inedible Human Resource, and I'm specifically asking everyone to respect the all boundaries we've previously spoken about regarding this role. 1.1622 0.05101 74 64 8 2
4360 Let's discuss his idea of the Holiday theme for next year's Board Meeting. 1.1622 0.05101 74 64 8 2
4361 Jim is here today to give a talk on diversification in the workplace. Whatever that is? 1.1622 0.04724 74 63 10 1
4362 Trump's Cabinet 1.1622 0.04314 74 62 12 0
4363 Welcome, welcome, to these special auditions, for roles in the new Dr. Seuss extended editions! 1.1622 0.04314 74 62 12 0
4364 We should take a break, the hot lunch I ordered has arrived. 1.1622 0.05101 74 64 8 2
4365 And these are the diversity hires. 1.1622 0.05101 74 64 8 2
4366 Elmer here will help us get back on track with our diversity program in 1.1622 0.04724 74 63 10 1
4367 Ha-ha, Jim forgot again it’s casual Friday. 1.1622 0.04314 74 62 12 0
4368 Our new spokes person is the bad guy from Shazam" 1.1622 0.05101 74 64 8 2
4369 So it's unanimous; we've agreed to start the meeting after we eat pepperoni slice monster. Well almost unanimous. 1.1622 0.04724 74 63 10 1
4370 And now Ned is going to tell us about our new health insurance plan. 1.1622 0.04724 74 63 10 1
4371 Our potential investors took one look and ran for the hills even though we have literally ate up our competition. 1.1622 0.04724 74 63 10 1
4372 Don't blame me, blame #humantoo. 1.1622 0.04724 74 63 10 1
4373 Dam, is today casual Friday? 1.1622 0.04724 74 63 10 1
4374 Mr. Harris from HR is hear to tell us about our health plan options. 1.1622 0.04314 74 62 12 0
4375 Let's do all we can to help our new office manager fit in!" 1.1622 0.04724 74 63 10 1
4376 How the turntables.. 1.1622 0.05101 74 64 8 2
4377 Joe’s comb over is pretty scary, so do we let him in? 1.1622 0.04724 74 63 10 1
4378 What, your name isn’t Bruce? Now that’s going to be confusing! 1.1622 0.05101 74 64 8 2
4379 Shall we start with water? 1.1622 0.04724 74 63 10 1
4380 George, here, is employee-of-the-month. In the spirit of Thanksgiving, who wants the first bite? 1.1622 0.04724 74 63 10 1
4381 You're right! Of course the cartoonist was on drugs. 1.1622 0.04724 74 63 10 1
4382 No one told me it was going to be a costume meeting. 1.1622 0.04724 74 63 10 1
4383 I believe everyone here knows Jenkins. He's been tapped to run our Earth office beginning next quarter. 1.1622 0.05101 74 64 8 2
4384 I think we can all agree on diversity 1.1622 0.04314 74 62 12 0
4385 Every focus group liked him for the role of monster. 1.1622 0.04724 74 63 10 1
4386 And our newest member, a non alien, please help yourself! 1.1622 0.04314 74 62 12 0
4387 My doctor says I need to cut back on spicy foods, so I'm afraid our lunch today is rather bland. 1.1622 0.04724 74 63 10 1
4388 Let me welcome you all to our annual diversity conference. 1.1622 0.05101 74 64 8 2
4389 Good news. Noah here has agreed to build it. It will feature a mammoth all-you-can-eat-that-don't-eat-you-first buffet table. 1.1622 0.05101 74 64 8 2
4390 And of course separate checks. 1.1622 0.04724 74 63 10 1
4391 Sorry guys, but we are all older monster actors who have been retired from any movies in this digital world. 1.1622 0.04724 74 63 10 1
4392 We were serious about our commitment to equity and inclusion. 1.1622 0.04724 74 63 10 1
4393 With our CPA you can write off your UFOs and all your ET expenses! 1.1622 0.04724 74 63 10 1
4394 Now listen, they didn’t yank us out from under the beds to make just another inflammatory, divisive decision for people to scream about online. 1.1622 0.04724 74 63 10 1
4395 I'm here to boost diversity! 1.1622 0.04724 74 63 10 1
4396 Now, I want everyone's undivided attention. Russell has a few ideas on how we can re-brand our organization. 1.1622 0.04724 74 63 10 1
4397 We need to improve our diversity - I want to see more middle-aged white men around the table" 1.1622 0.05101 74 64 8 2
4398 When you get to know Lawson, you'll find he's not really different. 1.1622 0.04314 74 62 12 0
4399 Okay, he's here, so let's begin the meating. 1.1622 0.04724 74 63 10 1
4400 Well,I was going to eat him,but I decided to send him to HR instead 1.1622 0.04724 74 63 10 1
4401 All in favor of the vegetarian selection, say "Aye." 1.1622 0.04724 74 63 10 1
4402 Now I know we've been trying to avoid this for some time now but I feel it is time to acknowledge the human in the room. 1.1622 0.04094 74 64 9 1
4403 So, who still needs a costume for Halloween? 1.1622 0.04314 74 62 12 0
4404 The new guy didn’t get memo about “Casual Fright-day”. 1.1622 0.04724 74 63 10 1
4405 ?hcnul ruo yug siht is (Is this guy our lunch?) 1.1622 0.04724 74 63 10 1
4406 For your DMV appointment, you only need bring a birth certificate, social security card and two proofs of residence. 1.1622 0.05101 74 64 8 2
4407 The 'Skinks 'N' Grubs Platter to Share' -- dressing on the side, please. 1.1622 0.04724 74 63 10 1
4408 Attention everybody: May I present our new First Vice-president from the Planet Earth! " 1.1622 0.04724 74 63 10 1
4409 I can vouch for his bonafides personally 1.1622 0.05101 74 64 8 2
4410 I am proud to announce that we met our divirsity goal by hiring an immigrant to be our server. 1.1622 0.05101 74 64 8 2
4411 And due to the success of our galactic inclusion program, please welcome our newest team member, Jooooohn Doooooe! 1.1622 0.04724 74 63 10 1
4412 Mr. Jones here is the new Acting Director of the Deep Swamp. 1.1622 0.05451 74 65 6 3
4413 Meet the lawyer we hired for this year's "Vilest Creature in the Universe" competition. He's also the winner! 1.1622 0.04724 74 63 10 1
4414 I think we can finally say we've achieved diversity in the boardroom. 1.1622 0.04724 74 63 10 1
4415 Dude, what the heck is he wearing? 1.1622 0.05101 74 64 8 2
4416 Let me introduce you to our cousin. He comes from the most vile of swamps, the White House! 1.1622 0.05451 74 65 6 3
4417 I'd like you to meet our new Human Resources figurehead. 1.1600 0.04262 75 63 12 0
4418 I want you all to welcome Smith, our diversity coordinator. 1.1600 0.03572 75 66 8 1
4419 This legislative panel stands by its resolution that Earth's humans are too hideous to remain in this galaxy 1.1600 0.04665 75 64 10 1
4420 Introducing John Token 1.1579 0.04608 76 65 10 1
4421 Oh, look. we have an adult in the room. 1.1549 0.04325 71 60 11 0
4422 From now on when we order lunch we will no longer use the phrase, ‘I feel like...’ 1.1549 0.04325 71 60 11 0
4423 Hard to believe, but he claims to have a great understanding of the demographics of our target market. 1.1549 0.04325 71 60 11 0
4424 Guys, this is Peter. He's a new hire in human resources and, as you can see, he has no idea what that really means. 1.1549 0.04325 71 60 11 0
4425 This is Henry from Human Resources, whatever that is." 1.1549 0.04325 71 60 11 0
4426 Say hi to Ted. He's a great dancer. 1.1549 0.04767 71 61 9 1
4427 Let’s break! I see lunch has arrived. 1.1549 0.04325 71 60 11 0
4428 I'd like to welcome the newest member of to the Monster Worker Union, the American Businessman. 1.1549 0.04325 71 60 11 0
4429 What do you mean you're a more qualified monster? This is a human we're talking about! 1.1549 0.04325 71 60 11 0
4430 In light of recent events, Bob will be our new VP in Nevada. 1.1549 0.04767 71 61 9 1
4431 This is Jerry from HR. He's here to address any questions about last week's incident with the "Creature from the Lagoon of Color". 1.1549 0.05172 71 62 7 2
4432 Melvin from HR wants to discuss what you're not wearing on casual Fridays. 1.1549 0.04325 71 60 11 0
4433 I guess it's because alligator is no longer on the menu. 1.1549 0.04767 71 61 9 1
4434 This is our new hire. Please be nice to him. 1.1549 0.04325 71 60 11 0
4435 Nice costume, bro, but Halloween was two weeks ago. 1.1549 0.04767 71 61 9 1
4436 I'm as excited as you are, but this time we'll eat the accountant AFTER the presentation. 1.1549 0.05172 71 62 7 2
4437 Who's the new guy?" "Former member of US Congress. He'll do well. 1.1549 0.05548 71 63 5 3
4438 The waiter recommends the Monster Mash for those of you who were wishing for what Mom used to make. 1.1549 0.04325 71 60 11 0
4439 His name is Bob, but he's OK with us calling him Neeeeeeeeeeeerd! 1.1549 0.04767 71 61 9 1
4440 Meet the newest member of the 5 families 1.1549 0.04767 71 61 9 1
4441 Nigel wants to sponsor us for Odd Fellows. 1.1549 0.04325 71 60 11 0
4442 Hey guys, let's welcome Phil, our monster of mediocrity. 1.1549 0.04767 71 61 9 1
4443 Diversity is on the table, should we really let this dude in 1.1549 0.04325 71 60 11 0
4444 I used the diversity card 1.1549 0.04325 71 60 11 0
4445 I think we've just scratched the surface here guys. 1.1549 0.04767 71 61 9 1
4446 Boris wants to know if he can count on us to support Brexit, deal or no deal. Your thoughts? 1.1549 0.04767 71 61 9 1
4447 I guess we all know who's the winner of this year's costume contest. 1.1549 0.04767 71 61 9 1
4448 I'd like to introduce Bill. I'm sure he's gonna fit right in. 1.1549 0.04325 71 60 11 0
4449 Everyone welcome this sick freak, Dave 1.1549 0.04767 71 61 9 1
4450 Everyone please welcome Roger to our team. He worked in a bursar's office and studies show more people are having nightmares about student loans. 1.1549 0.05172 71 62 7 2
4451 I'd like to thank you for all accepting my invitation to ruin my perfect night's sleep. 1.1549 0.04325 71 60 11 0
4452 What's truly scary is failing to properly manage risk. 1.1549 0.05172 71 62 7 2
4453 You guys won't believe it, no one showed up to see you guys despite our attempts to organize something on Facebook, I'm sorry." -Toby, 35, Human Interaction Mgr, Area-51 1.1549 0.04767 71 61 9 1
4454 Who says you have to be good looking to be on our board? 1.1549 0.04767 71 61 9 1
4455 Meet, Greg, our new affirmative action hire. 1.1549 0.04325 71 60 11 0
4456 Whoa, Ralph ! Today's NOT dress-down day........ 1.1549 0.04767 71 61 9 1
4457 Everyone please welcome Tom—our first affirmative action hire. 1.1549 0.04767 71 61 9 1
4458 Let's welcome Mr. Samson, our first diversity hire. 1.1549 0.04325 71 60 11 0
4459 Somebody was spotted taking the doughnuts intended for this meeting. I won't say who. 1.1549 0.04325 71 60 11 0
4460 Who ordered pre-packaged lunch again?! 1.1549 0.04767 71 61 9 1
4461 When are we going to finally see the “whistleblower “ unmasked? 1.1549 0.04767 71 61 9 1
4462 Is that scary guy in the suit still here? Is he looking at us? Creepy or what? Just ignore him and maybe he'll go away. 1.1549 0.04767 71 61 9 1
4463 In the name of diversity, we are electing Jonathan to the Board. 1.1549 0.05172 71 62 7 2
4464 Outside of work, Ed is regionally ranked Bocce Ball player! 1.1549 0.04767 71 61 9 1
4465 Hello do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior Matthew McConaughey? 1.1549 0.04767 71 61 9 1
4466 John comes to us from the Big White House. He's here to up our deplorable game.” 1.1549 0.05172 71 62 7 2
4467 I'd like you all to give a nice warm welcome to "Lunch" 1.1549 0.04767 71 61 9 1
4468 OK, what's the theme for the halloween party? 1.1549 0.05172 71 62 7 2
4469 8 planets....8 representatives. 1.1549 0.04767 71 61 9 1
4470 c'mon staff, let's get serious about diversity! 1.1549 0.04767 71 61 9 1
4471 As you can see, John is a regular guy. 1.1549 0.05172 71 62 7 2
4472 Peter came today to give the human perspective on our takeover of the planet. 1.1549 0.04325 71 60 11 0
4473 Dinner for Schmucks, alien style 1.1549 0.05172 71 62 7 2
4474 Joking aside, we're happy to include a consumer perspective. 1.1549 0.04325 71 60 11 0
4475 Now, now, let's give our expert on diversity hiring a chance to explain 1.1549 0.04325 71 60 11 0
4476 Bernstein is now in charge of M.R. monster resources department. 1.1549 0.04325 71 60 11 0
4477 OK, so who volunteers to vaporize the INS? 1.1549 0.04325 71 60 11 0
4478 May I call the meeting to order? 1.1549 0.04767 71 61 9 1
4479 Guys, this is Bob from the new Eighth Gate. He’s here to talk to us about our personal savior. 1.1549 0.05548 71 63 5 3
4480 His resume says he's delicious 1.1549 0.04767 71 61 9 1
4481 No need to be frightened , Grunwald. He can't help the way he looks. I think he must have been born that way. 1.1549 0.04325 71 60 11 0
4482 Please welcome Monster, Inc.’s newest board member. 1.1549 0.04767 71 61 9 1
4483 I’m afraid we only do regular mash. 1.1549 0.04325 71 60 11 0
4484 Thank you all for coming on such short notice. 1.1549 0.05172 71 62 7 2
4485 the human is coming! the human is coming! act serious! 1.1549 0.04767 71 61 9 1
4486 George is our new hire. We just don't hire for good looks. 1.1549 0.04325 71 60 11 0
4487 Mole, what is a mole? 1.1549 0.05172 71 62 7 2
4488 This is Bob. We weren't able to get an intern from one of the top planets, so here we are. Please make him feel welcome, and don't eat him yet. 1.1549 0.04767 71 61 9 1
4489 So,are we agreed? Will we support kicking Trump out of the White House? 1.1549 0.05172 71 62 7 2
4490 Hey guys, check out my carnivore costume! Scary, right? 1.1549 0.04767 71 61 9 1
4491 So I told him, "I"m sorry, but we have a very strict dress code policy in our office." 1.1549 0.05172 71 62 7 2
4492 Smithers is here to present the staff request that on Fridays we allow business casual. 1.1549 0.04325 71 59 11 0
4493 Who votes to visit Disney World instead of the zoo? 1.1549 0.04767 71 61 9 1
4494 We dug up this specimen in the Antarctic desert 1.1549 0.04325 71 60 11 0
4495 HR wants some cultural diversity! 1.1549 0.04325 71 60 11 0
4496 The next season of “Succession” will be a little different... 1.1549 0.04767 71 61 9 1
4497 The Diversity Committee will come to order. 1.1549 0.05172 71 62 7 2
4498 Nobody? But he said such nice things about us at the press conference! 1.1549 0.04325 71 60 11 0
4499 I'm eager to introduce the stranger among us, and please make note that our policies continue to encourage socializing by eating together and not eating each other, meeting over bone appetite 1.1549 0.04767 71 61 9 1
4500 Headquarters wants to know if anyone else is in favor of scaling down? 1.1549 0.04767 71 61 9 1
4501 I think Cryptocurrency is giving us a bad name. 1.1549 0.04325 71 60 11 0
4502 I know we come from different planets, but let us try to agree on a health-care bill. 1.1549 0.04767 71 61 9 1
4503 Morton here will be our new HR officer. 1.1549 0.04325 71 60 11 0
4504 Let's give a warm welcome to our latest White House hire, Bob! 1.1549 0.04325 71 60 11 0
4505 Look, corporate said she had to go, but this wasn't a witch hunt. 1.1549 0.04767 71 61 9 1
4506 Didn’t anybody tell you it’s dress down Friday around here! 1.1549 0.05172 71 62 7 2
4507 The straighter they look, the freakier they are in their private lives, my mama told me so. Oh, hey Carl.. 1.1549 0.04767 71 61 9 1
4508 Well, it looks like you've nailed this job! 1.1549 0.04767 71 60 9 1
4509 Anyone 13 or older can render an Aye. 1.1549 0.04767 71 61 9 1
4510 I asked Jeeves to invite her because her species is ABOUT to become extinct 1.1549 0.05172 71 62 7 2
4511 Did you catch that flabberball game last night? 1.1549 0.04325 71 60 11 0
4512 You knew that you would be our token human when you interviewed. 1.1549 0.05172 71 62 7 2
4513 I give up. 1.1549 0.05172 71 62 7 2
4514 All in favor of ending the Board meeting and retiring to the Mos Eisley Cantina for a drink, say Aye! 1.1549 0.04325 71 60 11 0
4515 I've decided our board needs more diversity. 1.1549 0.04325 71 60 11 0
4516 If you would like to know why they are angry, it's 'cause they thought you were bringing lunch. But don't worry, they will improvise by using you. 1.1549 0.04325 71 60 11 0
4517 Well it’s clear that the human harassment seminar was ten hours well spent. 1.1549 0.04767 71 61 9 1
4518 Please all welcome our diversity hire 1.1549 0.04767 71 61 9 1
4519 He claims "Monsters" is a tired brand 1.1549 0.04325 71 60 11 0
4520 Seriously, Beth, what planet are you from? I'm thinking deep fried. 1.1549 0.04767 71 61 9 1
4521 So, we're all agreed on sausage and pepperoni. Oh, wait, Bob reminded me that he's vegan. 1.1549 0.04325 71 60 11 0
4522 We are here to decide who gets the drumsticks. 1.1549 0.05172 71 62 7 2
4523 OK now that we are diversified lets disagree and fight. 1.1549 0.05172 71 62 7 2
4524 And as always, after the lake of fire and the pitchforking, we'll hand it over to legal. 1.1549 0.05172 71 62 7 2
4525 The regular troughs will be fine and please keep everything on the rare side. 1.1549 0.04325 71 60 11 0
4526 How about fish ? Fish is nice. 1.1549 0.04767 71 61 9 1
4527 This is my stepson, Michael, who finally returned home. If some unlucky accident should befall him, then, I will blame some of you in this room. 1.1549 0.04325 71 60 11 0
4528 And now let's welcome our newest member ,the one that made us extinct , Mr Not to Worry! 1.1549 0.05172 71 62 7 2
4529 lunch break... mcdonald's or pizza 1.1549 0.04325 71 60 11 0
4530 Sure, he looks harmless, but you should see him manage a supply chain! 1.1549 0.04767 71 61 9 1
4531 Arm on the table if think he looks tasty. 1.1549 0.04325 71 60 11 0
4532 Rule number one,no eating the accountant. 1.1549 0.04325 71 60 11 0
4533 Todd, here, is modeling attire for my new Formal Friday policy. 1.1549 0.04325 71 60 11 0
4534 Sam is our new National Security Advisor. He's pledged his fealty but he's not converted yet. 1.1549 0.04767 71 61 9 1
4535 I’d like you all to meet our new diversity consultant, John. 1.1549 0.04767 71 61 9 1
4536 Who’s the elephant in the room? 1.1549 0.04767 71 61 9 1
4537 He's from the government, and he's here to help. 1.1549 0.04325 71 60 11 0
4538 I’d like you all to meet dinner...I mean Daniel. 1.1549 0.04325 71 60 11 0
4539 I thought our legal team could use another slimy creature. 1.1549 0.04767 71 61 9 1
4540 And he thinks we are the anomaly. 1.1549 0.05172 71 62 7 2
4541 Remember, you are not to eat the owner's son. 1.1549 0.04767 71 61 9 1
4542 Yup, we hired a troll. 1.1549 0.04325 71 60 11 0
4543 I say we find a nice dine-in movie theater, eat everyone and catch a flick. 1.1549 0.04767 71 61 9 1
4544 Should we break for 5 light years? 1.1538 0.04112 78 66 12 0
4545 We needed some diversity on our board. 1.1528 0.04270 72 61 11 0
4546 Casual Fridays means no skin-suit and tie" 1.1528 0.04706 72 62 9 1
4547 Meet Rob, our first affirmative action intern. 1.1528 0.04706 72 62 9 1
4548 He's in need image consulting and fresh talking points. 1.1528 0.04706 72 62 9 1
4549 This is Doug from Human Resources. 1.1528 0.04270 72 61 11 0
4550 Welcome our newest guest to our diversity meeting. 1.1528 0.05104 72 63 7 2
4551 We knew the demographics had changed... 1.1528 0.04270 72 61 11 0
4552 We got the numbers back... 1.1528 0.05104 72 63 7 2
4553 Jim is here from HR to discuss work-appropriate clothing for interns 1.1528 0.05104 72 63 7 2
4554 'Next, Bob here from HR will update us about the status of the company's diversity program!" 1.1528 0.03516 72 62 10 0
4555 Okay then. So you'll have those reports to me by Monday ? 1.1528 0.04706 72 62 9 1
4556 With the addition of Mordo the president finally has the cabinet he wanted. 1.1528 0.04270 72 61 11 0
4557 Diversity has worked for us , so far. I say, lets make room at the table for him. 1.1528 0.04706 72 62 9 1
4558 There's No Menu card obviously to keep the table 'Dry' for ever, especially while browsing our Mouth-watering dishes. 1.1528 0.05104 72 63 7 2
4559 And Williams here is our new HR Manager. Don't worry, he doesn't bite. 1.1528 0.04270 72 61 11 0
4560 In the true spirit of Festivus, I've got a real problem with YOU PEOPLE! 1.1507 0.04216 73 62 11 0
4561 Human. Human. Human. Alert. Alert. Alert. 1.1486 0.04164 74 63 11 0
4562 Anyone want to pen the caption competition this week. 1.1449 0.04742 69 60 8 1
4563 It's a nice specimen of what is called a human. 1.1449 0.04269 69 59 10 0
4564 Somewhat unorthodox, but this one has a Delaware law license, contacts in Nevis, Cyprus and the Caymans. Pretty scary huh? 1.1449 0.05172 69 61 6 2
4565 Haha! So they still think it's the visual effect and that animation thing! 1.1449 0.04269 69 59 10 0
4566 We started a new department Human Resources." 1.1449 0.04742 69 60 8 1
4567 We're addressing the diversity issue 1.1449 0.04742 69 60 8 1
4568 ‘Gentlemen, I’d like you to meet Joe, the new head of our diversity team.’ 1.1449 0.04269 69 59 10 0
4569 In keeping with our new diversity policy, I'd like to introduce you to our newest employee Bob. 1.1449 0.04269 69 59 10 0
4570 I approve of the expanded nasal cavity as a nice finishing touch. 1.1449 0.04269 69 59 10 0
4571 Now then, who shall we eat for the first course? 1.1449 0.04269 69 59 10 0
4572 Colman, here, will be our new Diversity Manager 1.1449 0.04269 69 59 10 0
4573 Jim, it is mine and the rest of the boards opinion that you are not cut out for the corporate world, because you are just simply not a disgusting monster . 1.1449 0.04742 69 60 8 1
4574 I decided it would help us think outside the box. 1.1449 0.04269 69 59 10 0
4575 So much for your creativity, Dr. Seuss. 1.1449 0.04742 69 60 8 1
4576 No Clint, HR is not here to walk you out… It’s your 5 year anniversary! 1.1449 0.04269 69 59 10 0
4577 I am sorry but we can no longer offer health insurance to illegal aliens. 1.1449 0.04742 69 60 8 1
4578 All in favor of a strike for cultural sensitivity, say aye. 1.1449 0.04742 69 60 8 1
4579 Let me introduce you to Bob. He's the newest acquirement to the planet and has only been in around for 6,000 years. 1.1449 0.05172 69 61 6 2
4580 You can mow the table when we’re done. 1.1449 0.04742 69 60 8 1
4581 Will the meeting please come to order ? 1.1449 0.04269 69 59 10 0
4582 Joe is here from HR for some diversity training. 1.1449 0.04742 69 60 8 1
4583 I'd like to remind all of you about our commitment to diversity . . . 1.1449 0.04269 69 59 10 0
4584 Forget about the tie. I think he’d be a good fit. 1.1449 0.04269 69 59 10 0
4585 Our income structure is eat what you kill, as is our lunch structure. 1.1449 0.04269 69 59 10 0
4586 Welcome to Life After the Swamp. Everyone, say hello to our newest member ... 1.1449 0.04742 69 60 8 1
4587 I know the diversity consultant was not a popular idea, but try to keep an open mind. 1.1449 0.04269 69 59 10 0
4588 Looks like our new attorney is sure to fit right in 1.1449 0.04742 69 60 8 1
4589 What we're looking for here is a message of "unity." Ted is here to help us get there. 1.1449 0.04742 69 60 8 1
4590 As soon as Gumpo gets here with the donuts, we can start. 1.1449 0.04269 69 59 10 0
4591 Now I'd like to introduce Ted, our latest hire into "Human Resources." 1.1449 0.04269 69 59 10 0
4592 I’m all for diversity, but he’s too diverse. 1.1449 0.04742 69 60 8 1
4593 Mr. Clarkson will be our new head of marketing. Not lunch! 1.1449 0.05172 69 61 6 2
4594 Let's eat some room for the newest member of our team. 1.1449 0.04269 69 59 10 0
4595 Carl's here to help the company come across as a little more human. 1.1449 0.04269 69 59 10 0
4596 He's obviously not one of us but it could add some diversity to our board. 1.1449 0.04742 69 60 8 1
4597 Now that all my advisors are here, let’s begin 1.1449 0.04742 69 60 8 1
4598 John's here to tell us about our new diversity program... 1.1449 0.04269 69 59 10 0
4599 Gary-the-temp shined on his first day by teaching the boss how to smile. 1.1449 0.04742 69 60 8 1
4600 And I'd like to formally introduce Jeff to the Executive Board of Nightmares & Monsters.....he's a lawyer 1.1449 0.04742 69 60 8 1
4601 We have a guest today so let's speak English. 1.1449 0.04742 69 60 8 1
4602 And this is my translator, make sure not to eat him. 1.1449 0.04269 69 59 10 0
4603 Um, I'm applying for the job of Crisis Manager? 1.1449 0.05172 69 61 6 2
4604 Everyone, meet Paul. He's here for the lunch and learn. 1.1449 0.04269 69 59 10 0
4605 Start by applying a cold milk compress to the area for ten minutes. The anti-flammatory molecules in the dairy fat will help settle things down. Breathe. See you all next week. 1.1449 0.04742 69 60 8 1
4606 Everyone say hi to the diversity trainer. 1.1449 0.04269 69 59 10 0
4607 Everybody say hello to Fred , our new human relations director 1.1449 0.04742 69 60 8 1
4608 This is Dave, he’ll be joining our recruiting department. 1.1449 0.05172 69 61 6 2
4609 Welcome Robert. He’s from Corporate and he’s here to help us organize. 1.1449 0.05569 69 62 4 3
4610 Ted welcome to the firm! So...do you have any questions for us? 1.1449 0.04269 69 59 10 0
4611 Jenkins is from bookkeeping. He wants to know why we ordered a man-sized vat of dipping sauce when we aren’t exactly enjoying monster numbers this quarter. 1.1449 0.04269 69 59 10 0
4612 It's him again. Claims to be an attorney. Give him something to chew on. 1.1449 0.04742 69 60 8 1
4613 This is Jim. He's the diversity hire. 1.1449 0.04742 69 60 8 1
4614 Binky, don't take this personally, he speaks their language. 1.1449 0.04269 69 59 10 0
4615 And in recognition of our diversity initiative, let me introduce our newest member of the board. 1.1449 0.04742 69 60 8 1
4616 My sister's husband. What can I say? You'll be seeing a lot of him from now on. 1.1449 0.04742 69 60 8 1
4617 Don't look now, but here comes that strange looking one ! 1.1449 0.04269 69 59 10 0
4618 My galaxy brain is telling me pizza and wings. 1.1449 0.04269 69 59 10 0
4619 Most importantly, as a CFO, how do you taste? 1.1449 0.04269 69 59 10 0
4620 Seems that we have several new board members. 1.1449 0.04269 69 59 10 0
4621 Welcome to the first meeting of the company's diversity committee. 1.1449 0.04742 69 60 8 1
4622 Meeting adjourned. Now let’s eat this guy! 1.1449 0.04742 69 60 8 1
4623 And here's the prototype of our next line of scary costumes..... 1.1449 0.04742 69 60 8 1
4624 Well then, with there being nothing else on the table, who wants lunch? 1.1449 0.04742 69 60 8 1
4625 Those in favor of Arnie living one more day say aye. 1.1449 0.05172 69 61 6 2
4626 In the spirit of cultural diversity we are inviting a new member to serve on our board. 1.1449 0.04269 69 59 10 0
4627 Welcome to our diversity panel. 1.1449 0.04269 69 59 10 0
4628 "Making you only acting heads of your departments avoided the confirmation process. But don't think you can get away with anything unless I approve it. 1.1449 0.04742 69 60 8 1
4629 We don’t discriminate around here, no matter what you look like. 1.1449 0.04269 69 59 10 0
4630 Like I said, if we don’t like your concepts, this group really will eat you alive. 1.1449 0.04742 69 60 8 1
4631 I'd like you to meet our new diversity hire. 1.1449 0.04742 69 60 8 1
4632 Legal needs that release from Darwin. 1.1449 0.04269 69 59 10 0
4633 Best Beasties Unite and Listen Up to our esteemed Guest Speaker - and give a beastie hearty welcome to --Where's Waldo! - His talk tonite -- How to get lost in a Crowd for fun and profit! 1.1449 0.04742 69 60 8 1
4634 I see that our diversity and inclusion goals are being met. 1.1449 0.04742 69 60 8 1
4635 Everyone-this is Bobby. He's your lunch-er-um new intern 1.1449 0.04269 69 59 10 0
4636 Do I hear a motion to retire to Chalmun's Cantina for drinks? 1.1449 0.04742 69 60 8 1
4637 Well, it seems we had the idea of human resources all wrong. 1.1449 0.04742 69 60 8 1
4638 He's the ghost of Christmas present. 1.1449 0.04269 69 59 10 0
4639 Meet our latest tasty morsel, I mean our new taste tester, Monty. 1.1449 0.04742 69 60 8 1
4640 Everybody, please welcome Sedge Battleman, our outstanding diversity hire! 1.1449 0.04269 69 59 10 0
4641 John is here to pitch a Stars War movie that you can all be actors in a few special scenes. 1.1449 0.04742 69 60 8 1
4642 No donkey or elephant here? Is this a political focus group or a circus? 1.1449 0.04269 69 59 10 0
4643 Melvin, here, wants to know how he can fit into our executive committee. Any ideas? 1.1449 0.04742 69 60 8 1
4644 And Roy here has yet to try the new ingredients. 1.1449 0.04742 69 60 8 1
4645 Welcome to our Board meeting. As you can see, we believe in diversity. 1.1449 0.04742 69 60 8 1
4646 Meet Bob from the home office. He'll be leading our mandated diversity training. 1.1449 0.04269 69 59 10 0
4647 Can we at least decide on a lunch menu? 1.1449 0.04269 69 59 10 0
4648 Mark is here to talk to us about diversity. 1.1449 0.04742 69 60 8 1
4649 Gentlemen, Mr. Dunwiddie from Accounting has a few observations to share... 1.1449 0.04742 69 60 8 1
4650 I know each of you wants this assignment, but trust me: Yankiri here- I mean, “Fred”, is our guy. He has studied their ways and he’s going undercover. Then Jerry, your team can roll in as reinforcements when it all goes down. Got it? 1.1449 0.04742 69 60 8 1
4651 Jim, a convicted sex offender, then realized that he did fit in! 1.1449 0.04742 69 60 8 1
4652 James will be the new head of Human Resources. 1.1449 0.04269 69 59 10 0
4653 Ah, lunch is here. Lets take a break. 1.1449 0.04742 69 60 8 1
4654 So that motion passes. Everyday is casual Friday. 1.1449 0.04742 69 60 8 1
4655 The way I see it, he blends. 1.1449 0.04742 69 60 8 1
4656 This meeting really is my worst nightmare. 1.1449 0.04742 69 60 8 1
4657 Let's welcome our newest member of the Monsters Unite Club! 1.1449 0.04742 69 60 8 1
4658 I can order lunch unless you all would rather just devour one another. 1.1449 0.04742 69 60 8 1
4659 I'd like to introduce Erza, he is our new diversity director. 1.1449 0.05172 69 61 6 2
4660 Jeeves, a double monster mash for everybody. 1.1449 0.05569 69 62 4 3
4661 I am ready for picnic 1.1449 0.04269 69 58 10 0
4662 The diversity desk said we should hire this guy> 1.1449 0.04742 69 60 8 1
4663 I'd like to introduce you to Steve. He's our new diversity hire. 1.1449 0.04742 69 60 8 1
4664 I'm proud to announce that we finally have a sufficiently diverse board. 1.1449 0.05569 69 62 4 3
4665 Please make welcome our new IT guy, Bob Cummings. Bob's from Earth! 1.1449 0.04269 69 59 10 0
4666 Now, guys, let's give our new diversity strategy a chance. 1.1449 0.04269 69 59 10 0
4667 He's dessert. 1.1449 0.05172 69 61 6 2
4668 I'd like you all to meet our diversity hire... 1.1449 0.05172 69 61 6 2
4669 The company is expanding from our galaxy to the whole universe so I'm giving Earth a token seat on our board of directors 1.1449 0.04742 69 60 8 1
4670 The Everglades Board of Direction 1.1449 0.04742 69 60 8 1
4671 And once Dave finishes his presentation we'll take a few minutes to pick his brain and then have him for lunch. 1.1449 0.05172 69 61 6 2
4672 OK. John says he'll place the order. Does everyone want worms? 1.1449 0.05172 69 61 6 2
4673 I'd like to introduce Bruce from Match.com 1.1449 0.04269 69 59 10 0
4674 The Galapagos City council will come to order. 1.1449 0.04269 69 59 10 0
4675 And as we discussed, young Henry here will be the new face of our company. 1.1449 0.04742 69 60 8 1
4676 Jim here will be leading our diversity training. 1.1449 0.04269 69 59 10 0
4677 He's joined us guys, end of the world now. 1.1447 0.04474 76 66 9 1
4678 'Hi, my name is Abe, the Alligator, and I'm misunderstood.' Everyone: 'Hi, Abe.' 1.1429 0.04213 70 60 10 0
4679 In an effort to add some diversity to the board, I brought in Sam.” 1.1429 0.04213 70 60 10 0
4680 ...but chief among Mr. Smith’s qualifications to join our organization is the fact that he was the first to mention BTS on Twitter! 1.1429 0.04213 70 60 10 0
4681 Listen, you jokers, my new hire really brings something extra to the table. And unlike my last new hire, I am not talking about the dining table. 1.1429 0.05102 70 62 6 2
4682 He may not look like much, but he'll surprise you. 1.1429 0.04213 70 60 10 0
4683 Stanley has an intergalactic visa as an alien of extraordinary ability. 1.1429 0.04678 70 61 8 1
4684 Mr. Elliot, you’ll need to show us a whole lot more than humanity to secure a seat on this Board. 1.1429 0.05102 70 62 6 2
4685 This guy nominates that orange guy for The most ‘Beautiful’ pageant in our galaxy. A vote 1.1429 0.04213 70 60 10 0
4686 Going forward, our attorney will discuss the issue of royalties. 1.1429 0.04213 70 60 10 0
4687 What’s with the Marilyn? 1.1429 0.04213 70 60 10 0
4688 All those in favor of chanting "One of us!" to welcome Mr. Howard to the Board, say arrgth. 1.1429 0.05102 70 62 6 2
4689 I told you we would drain the swamp" 1.1429 0.04213 70 60 10 0
4690 Monsters, I’d like you to meet our newest member. This is Carl Fitzgerald and he is that guy who never mutes his phone on conference calls. 1.1429 0.04213 70 60 10 0
4691 To quote a well-known political figure,'If you don't have a seat at the table,you're probably on the menu,' and standing to my left is a perfect example." 1.1429 0.04678 70 61 8 1
4692 I would not, should not speak out of turn. 1.1429 0.04678 70 61 8 1
4693 So where's Harrison? 1.1429 0.04678 70 61 8 1
4694 This is Jerry from accounting. He says there’s no accounting for us. 1.1429 0.04678 70 61 8 1
4695 The strange creature on my left wants to join our chess club. 1.1429 0.04678 70 61 8 1
4696 What's with the funky outfit? This is an office! 1.1429 0.04678 70 61 8 1
4697 This is our new boss. Who wants first taste? 1.1429 0.04213 70 60 10 0
4698 Noe, we fill that on an attached raft, we will not survive the flood! 1.1429 0.04213 70 60 10 0
4699 S'cuse me, Anyone seen Mr. Sendak 1.1429 0.04213 70 60 10 0
4700 Oh, and since you guys are all locavore... 1.1429 0.04213 70 60 10 0
4701 Please welcome our newest member. His name is gop. 1.1429 0.05102 70 62 6 2
4702 As you can see, our company hiring policy puts a premium on diversity. 1.1429 0.04213 70 60 10 0
4703 We wanted "Virgin Galactic", but it was already taken. 1.1429 0.04678 70 61 8 1
4704 Oh jeez, new guy, that's my bad. I forgot to tell you we're more of a business casual office. You can lose the jacket and tie. 1.1429 0.05102 70 62 6 2
4705 Okay, first we’ll draw straws for who is the refreshments. 1.1429 0.05102 70 62 6 2
4706 At his new job, Donald strove to break down the silos. 1.1429 0.04678 70 61 8 1
4707 Look at this cast of characters! 1.1429 0.04213 70 60 10 0
4708 Our newest member is a politician 1.1429 0.05493 70 63 4 3
4709 Who invited the weird looking guy to our meeting? 1.1429 0.04213 70 60 10 0
4710 Meet our replacement PR guy... 1.1429 0.04213 70 60 10 0
4711 Welcome. We’ve been discussing the flavor of the week. 1.1429 0.04678 70 61 8 1
4712 Look at how he gets when he drinks. 1.1429 0.04678 70 61 8 1
4713 What's he doing here? 1.1429 0.04213 70 60 10 0
4714 This young man is here to discuss Halloween costume ideas 1.1429 0.04678 70 61 8 1
4715 He’ll help us destroy the competition, and won’t even ask for a bite.” 1.1429 0.04213 70 60 10 0
4716 I'd like to introduce Mike, our most recent diversity hire. 1.1429 0.04213 70 60 10 0
4717 Okay. We have a motion for gooble gobble, is there a second? 1.1429 0.04678 70 61 8 1
4718 We all agree that Norman adds a much needed human face to our team. 1.1429 0.04213 70 60 10 0
4719 What say we eat the waiter and then see who they have for desert? 1.1429 0.04678 70 61 8 1
4720 Earth is cutting a lot of jobs... 1.1429 0.05493 70 63 4 3
4721 Believe me, his kind can manipulate and destroy like the best of us. 1.1429 0.04213 70 60 10 0
4722 It's Halloween yet you're the only one who feels you must come in costume. 1.1429 0.04678 70 61 8 1
4723 I said, “Meet Mr Burns”, not “Meeting’s adjourned”. 1.1429 0.04678 70 61 8 1
4724 And I say our audience could never swallow these preposterous 'humans'. 1.1429 0.05102 70 62 6 2
4725 Kevin, our new marketing guy, is convinced that our designs for formal wear are profitable only in the last two weeks of October." 1.1429 0.04213 70 60 10 0
4726 And now for the report from our diversity chair..... 1.1429 0.04678 70 61 8 1
4727 This is Homer from human resources. He'll be joining us for dinner. 1.1429 0.04678 70 61 8 1
4728 As you know we have a non-discriminatory policy here and I want you all to welcome Fred to the board of Monsters Inc. 1.1429 0.04678 70 61 8 1
4729 Mr. Renfield has a wealth of experience--from real estate agent to slavishly loyal aide de camp. He'd meet our diversity goals, and at least he eats flies. 1.1429 0.04678 70 61 8 1
4730 We vote that monsters is politically incorrect. We officially want to be called "funsters." 1.1429 0.05102 70 62 6 2
4731 And so, without further ado, allow me to introduce...lunch. 1.1429 0.04213 70 60 10 0
4732 Our luncheon guest this week will be talking about something he calls “evolution.” He’s requested that we don’t take anything he says personally. 1.1429 0.04678 70 61 8 1
4733 This might be a good time to remind everyone where to find the company’s diversity policy. 1.1429 0.04678 70 61 8 1
4734 I would like everyone to meet our new Director of Information Technology. 1.1429 0.04678 70 61 8 1
4735 So the guy says you're no Godzilla, pal... So I ate him...serve the drinks, George. 1.1429 0.04678 70 61 8 1
4736 Guess no one told Bob Fridays are clothing-optional. 1.1429 0.04213 70 60 10 0
4737 I’ve had lunch sent in. 1.1429 0.04213 70 60 10 0
4738 Everyone....say hello to Todd. 1.1429 0.04678 70 61 8 1
4739 Everybody, this is Fred, our new satellite branch manager. He just scared the hell out of Eileen in accounting. 1.1429 0.04213 70 60 10 0
4740 HR said we needed a diversity hire. 1.1429 0.04213 70 60 10 0
4741 Robinson here has some thoughts on improving our company’s image. 1.1429 0.05102 70 62 6 2
4742 Let’s welcome our newest member, Alan. He invented socks that are just a little too big so they keep rolling under your heel. 1.1429 0.04213 70 60 10 0
4743 Are we all present or should we wait for zombe? 1.1429 0.04678 70 61 8 1
4744 Sorry Charles, you've been voted off, the Board needs more diversity. 1.1429 0.04678 70 61 8 1
4745 Monsters and ghouls, may I introduce Chester, our token human? 1.1429 0.04213 70 60 10 0
4746 We finally did it, we've taken all of their jobs. 1.1429 0.04678 70 61 8 1
4747 May I introduce you to our nod towards diversity? 1.1429 0.04678 70 61 8 1
4748 Sal here comes from our Humanoid Diversity Program. 1.1429 0.04678 70 61 8 1
4749 Would you describe your Primordial Soup experience as "chunky" or "not chunky enough"? 1.1429 0.04213 70 60 10 0
4750 Is it Mouth-watering Alien Delights like Dine-o-sure Soup, Monster BBQ or Barney Ice-cream you are craving for? 1.1429 0.04678 70 61 8 1
4751 Here, here. As your chair, I'm the only one who gets to tap, tap, tap on the table. 1.1429 0.04678 70 61 8 1
4752 Meet Jeeves, this is what we ordered for lunch 1.1429 0.04678 70 61 8 1
4753 Welcome to diversity training. 1.1429 0.04213 70 60 10 0
4754 Cancel casual Fridays? Howard, you're truly a monster. 1.1429 0.04678 70 61 8 1
4755 I'm afraid Alice opted for the Mad Hatter's 1.1408 0.04158 71 61 10 0
4756 I can assure you, this is a monster of a deal! 1.1408 0.04616 71 62 8 1
4757 This is Harry. He's no stranger to us. 1.1408 0.04158 71 61 10 0
4758 My stepson, Fred, will now explain the company's new benefit plan. 1.1408 0.03354 71 62 9 0
4759 Any questions for the new head of Human Resources? 1.1389 0.04104 72 62 10 0
4760 I'm afraid this month's financials are looking a little scary. 1.1389 0.03313 72 63 9 0
4761 I'm happy to announce the new version of Animal Crackers goes into production next week. 1.1389 0.04556 72 63 8 1
4762 FritzbutaaH John. NeezbutaaHlaaH. NezbuutaaH! Translation: Everyone, This Is John. No, We Are NOT Going To Eat Him. Not Yet! 1.1364 0.04257 66 57 9 0
4763 Ted here is part of our diversity outreach program. 1.1364 0.04773 66 58 7 1
4764 Yep, you were a diversity hire. 1.1364 0.04257 66 57 9 0
4765 He could be our token human to avoid criticism that we discriminate in our hiring policy 1.1364 0.04257 66 57 9 0
4766 Edward here is a human film critic. He AGREES with Scorsese! 1.1364 0.04773 66 58 7 1
4767 Let's talk about the elephant in the room. 1.1364 0.05239 66 59 5 2
4768 I'm sure you're all wondering why I've doodled you here... 1.1364 0.04257 66 57 9 0
4769 (&^$%^#_++#) We will be having fresh earthling for lunch. 1.1364 0.04773 66 58 7 1
4770 Look gentlemen, I know it's not ideal but HR said we need a human on the board to hit our diversity quota. 1.1364 0.04773 66 58 7 1
4771 Let’s welcome our new hire, Jim, whose expertise we believe will help the company in its mission to destroy and eat humankind. 1.1364 0.04773 66 58 7 1
4772 Enough already. I agree he looks weird but we’re better than that. 1.1364 0.04773 66 58 7 1
4773 OK, on to a new topic. Peter here says one of you is actually wearing a costume. 1.1364 0.04773 66 58 7 1
4774 but still no Women in the Directors board! 1.1364 0.04773 66 58 7 1
4775 I know we've done a lot to be more diverse, but Ed here will take us that extra mile. 1.1364 0.04257 66 57 9 0
4776 Oh, is it Halloween yet ? 1.1364 0.04257 66 57 9 0
4777 I know what you're thinking. He's only here because of our diversity mandate. But, I think Todd will be a real asset to the company. 1.1364 0.04773 66 58 7 1
4778 Swamp toxicity levels are at an all-time high! Pass around the thank you card, Tod. 1.1364 0.04773 66 58 7 1
4779 Herb from H.R. is joining us today to remind all department heads about our need to push for diversification. 1.1364 0.04257 66 57 9 0
4780 I’d like to introduce you to Norm. He’ll be joining us f 1.1364 0.04257 66 57 9 0
4781 I know it might seem unorthodox to get input on being an awful monster from a human, but don’t forget he’s a member of the one percent. 1.1364 0.05239 66 59 5 2
4782 Anyway, look: times change. And if we don’t, we risk becoming irrelevant. Which is why I’m excited to introduce Gerald as the first human board member of Monsters, Inc. 1.1364 0.04257 66 57 9 0
4783 Nigel is new to venture capital. Please make him feel welcome. 1.1364 0.05239 66 59 5 2
4784 We all love a whistleblower Mortimer. (As an appetizer...) 1.1364 0.04773 66 58 7 1
4785 This is Dan. He's our 'Diversity and Inclusion' hire. 1.1364 0.05239 66 59 5 2
4786 How would humans like it if we dressed as them once a year its demoralizing. 1.1364 0.04257 66 57 9 0
4787 I know that interns can look strange on their first day 1.1364 0.04257 66 57 9 0
4788 This is Abernathy. He will be our catered lunch. 1.1364 0.05239 66 59 5 2
4789 Giving him a seat at this table is carrying diversity too far. 1.1364 0.04257 66 57 9 0
4790 Mr. Kincaide here was a Rhodes Scholar,summa cum laude at Columbia and he will be our lunch for today 1.1364 0.04773 66 58 7 1
4791 Let's take a break. Lunch is here. 1.1364 0.04257 66 57 9 0
4792 Loosen your tie it's casual Friday. 1.1364 0.04257 66 57 9 0
4793 Sean here says we're all made in the image of a deity. So there's that. 1.1364 0.04773 66 58 7 1
4794 Him? He may look strange, but he's okay. 1.1364 0.04773 66 58 7 1
4795 Who wants to volunteer for trick or treating.... 1.1364 0.04257 66 57 9 0
4796 I know he looks scary but the consultant is here to help us. 1.1364 0.04773 66 58 7 1
4797 Look closely, he's more frightening than all of you put together. 1.1364 0.05239 66 59 5 2
4798 We take over, you fools 1.1364 0.04257 66 57 9 0
4799 This is John from Human Resources. He will be leading us in a discussion on diversity. 1.1364 0.04773 66 58 7 1
4800 You all remember Steve, Chairman of the Board Görlok's son and our new summer intern. Steve studies business administration. He can help you with any special projects for the next 8 weeks. 1.1364 0.04773 66 58 7 1
4801 His presentation should be brief-I told him what happened to the last guy who went over his allotted time. 1.1364 0.05239 66 59 5 2
4802 Let's bring us back to order in our new world. 1.1364 0.05239 66 59 5 2
4803 I feel Steven will bring diversity to this department. 1.1364 0.04773 66 58 7 1
4804 And this is Mr. Johnson, our new representative from the planet Earth, whom we've promised not to eat. 1.1364 0.04257 66 57 9 0
4805 The SciFi channel presents Space Apprentice 1.1364 0.04257 66 57 9 0
4806 So he said monster, I 'ardly know her and well, we've been together ever since. 1.1364 0.05239 66 59 5 2
4807 Okay humanoid, you get a seat at the table when one of us dies in a suspicious manner. 1.1364 0.04257 66 57 9 0
4808 Now that we are together, we can plan the launch of the space ark....(whisper) I think he's a spy. 1.1364 0.04257 66 57 9 0
4809 And now for the scariest of them all, Mr. Wall Street! 1.1364 0.04773 66 58 7 1
4810 What say you to inviting this plump being to joining us on the plate , er, at the table. 1.1364 0.05239 66 59 5 2
4811 This meeting will come to order. 1.1364 0.04257 66 57 9 0
4812 I wasn't sure what everyone wanted for lunch, so I just ordered a Mexican. 1.1364 0.04773 66 58 7 1
4813 I see the irony in all of this, Johnson, but if we don't accept the offer, we'll go the way of the dinasour. 1.1364 0.05239 66 59 5 2
4814 EVERYBODY HERE THINKS THEY ARE NORMAL 1.1364 0.05239 66 59 5 2
4815 Death is not the end. 1.1364 0.04773 66 58 7 1
4816 It's come our attention that you think your different than us. 1.1364 0.04773 66 58 7 1
4817 I know I look strange, but may I join you? 1.1364 0.05666 66 60 3 3
4818 I hope we can agree that the Roomba won’t be invited to the office party this year. 1.1364 0.04773 66 58 7 1
4819 Don't you just Love having our civilized tea time?! 1.1364 0.04257 66 57 9 0
4820 Did you see the monster that just came in? By Eder 1.1364 0.04257 66 57 9 0
4821 You will never find a more wretched hive of scum and villany 1.1364 0.04257 66 57 9 0
4822 Shareholders ARE impressed with the diversity of the Board of Directors but now want profits too. 1.1364 0.04773 66 58 7 1
4823 This explains the decisions board members make. 1.1364 0.04257 66 57 9 0
4824 Maybe now we will stop presenting in the nude! 1.1364 0.04257 66 57 9 0
4825 Chicken or Fish? 1.1364 0.04773 66 58 7 1
4826 OK, group, in your vote on his membership application, just remember we don't judge on little differences. 1.1364 0.04257 66 57 9 0
4827 who's hungry? 1.1364 0.04773 66 57 7 1
4828 Chill, what goes around comes around.....a little diversity won’t hurt. 1.1364 0.04257 66 57 9 0
4829 I know he looks a little scary, but once you get to know him you’ll see he’s a really nice guy. 1.1364 0.04773 66 58 7 1
4830 Of course not. It wouldn't be off the rack. It would be tailored. 1.1364 0.04257 66 57 9 0
4831 He doesn't get lunch. He is lunch. 1.1364 0.05239 66 59 5 2
4832 Who wants first bite? 1.1364 0.04257 66 57 9 0
4833 I know he looks creepy but I think he'll be an asset to our organization. 1.1364 0.04773 66 58 7 1
4834 Where's the raid? 1.1364 0.05239 66 59 5 2
4835 Supporting our Inclusion policy, I have asked a Human to attend. So clawing or devouring until the meeting is over! 1.1364 0.04257 66 57 9 0
4836 Not quite team. It’s the spirit of the holidays that is supposed to last all year, not the spirit of Halloween. 1.1364 0.05239 66 59 5 2
4837 Well, no one can complain about our company's diversity. 1.1364 0.04257 66 57 9 0
4838 He’s from U-kraine! That means he can do things that none of you can! 1.1364 0.05239 66 59 5 2
4839 As usual, Xortoth is the only one who dressed up as something scary for Halloween. 1.1364 0.04773 66 58 7 1
4840 Welcome to your photo shoot for the 2019 Most Beautiful Beings Issue of Alien Magazine. Who wants to go first? 1.1364 0.04773 66 58 7 1
4841 I told him, unlike on his planet, I did not enter an executive order excluding aliens 1.1364 0.05239 66 59 5 2
4842 Looks like Smith didn't get the memo about our Halloween party. 1.1364 0.04773 66 58 7 1
4843 Please welcome Herb, who just joined our extinct life-form support group. 1.1364 0.04773 66 58 7 1
4844 Let's give him a warm welcome by not eating him. 1.1364 0.04257 66 57 9 0
4845 Mr. clothes, I think it's warm enough to remove your clothes. 1.1364 0.04773 66 58 7 1
4846 He may look weird but Nigel comes as a very well recommended accountant. 1.1364 0.04257 66 57 9 0
4847 This is Jim, our new head of human resources. 1.1364 0.04257 66 57 9 0
4848 In light of our longstanding policy of not revealing ourselves to humans, this is our new hire, Bob." 1.1364 0.04257 66 57 9 0
4849 Marty comes to us from parking enforcement so he should fit right in. 1.1364 0.04257 66 57 9 0
4850 Well it's decided, we'll name the firm Anxiety, Nightmares and Daitch attorneys of law. 1.1364 0.04773 66 58 7 1
4851 I’m happy to say that our diversity program has been a great success! 1.1364 0.04257 66 57 9 0
4852 Meet Gregor, our new sales manager. If sales don't improve we can always eat him. 1.1364 0.04257 66 57 9 0
4853 I think we should go for separate checks rather than dividing the bill in seven. Some of us don't care for the local cuisine. 1.1364 0.04773 66 58 7 1
4854 Kyle will be fulfilling our diversity mandate. 1.1364 0.04257 66 57 9 0
4855 It’s our goal to address what brought you here to diversity training. 1.1364 0.04773 66 58 7 1
4856 Well, look who just arrived for dinner! 1.1364 0.04773 66 58 7 1
4857 He says he can help us clean up the swamp AND tackle climate change. 1.1364 0.04773 66 58 7 1
4858 Let’s eat Amazon for lunch. 1.1364 0.04773 66 58 7 1
4859 Yes, he is the first Democrat to join us. 1.1364 0.04257 66 57 9 0
4860 ``Fellow creatures, this shouldn't take long. I asked you here today because this young man thinks one of you might be his father.'' 1.1364 0.04257 66 57 9 0
4861 Are we all decided then on having Earthling for lunch? 1.1364 0.04257 66 57 9 0
4862 In line with the company's diversity and inclusion policy, this is our new hire -- let's all say 'Hi' to Bob. 1.1364 0.04257 66 57 9 0
4863 “We agreed the board lacked diversity.” 1.1364 0.04773 66 58 7 1
4864 Let's skip the veggies and just have ice cream 1.1364 0.04773 66 58 7 1
4865 Ok jokers this is suit you have to wear in the real world 1.1364 0.04773 66 58 7 1
4866 Our next guest, and please don't laugh . . . 1.1364 0.04257 66 57 9 0
4867 Bob here beamed up to take your reservations and insure your inclusion in the new edition of 'Who's Who in the Galaxy' 1.1364 0.04257 66 57 9 0
4868 He deserves a place at our table, he's an animal too. 1.1364 0.04773 66 58 7 1
4869 Didn't anybody tell Bob about casual dress Friday? 1.1364 0.04257 66 57 9 0
4870 Mac, when do we get paid for dressing up in these animal costumes! 1.1364 0.04773 66 58 7 1
4871 Please welcome Carl, our new director of special projects. 1.1364 0.04257 66 57 9 0
4872 Since I'm speaking for all of us...... 1.1364 0.04257 66 57 9 0
4873 I'd like to present a truly original partner. 1.1333 0.04384 75 66 8 1
4874 Who invited you? You're not one of us. 1.1270 0.04229 63 55 8 0
4875 Dan’s here from corporate. He’ll just be observing today. 1.1270 0.04229 63 55 8 0
4876 You're facing extinction. 1.1270 0.04229 63 55 8 0
4877 We are all in this together! 1.1270 0.04229 63 55 8 0
4878 It seems that lunch has arrived”. 1.1270 0.04796 63 56 6 1
4879 This is Mr. Jones our Director of Personnel. 1.1270 0.04796 63 56 6 1
4880 I want you all to meet Mark. He's the new head of human resources. 1.1270 0.04229 63 55 8 0
4881 I'd like to start the "Rejected Halloween Monsters" meeting to order by first reciting the minutes from the last meeting 1.1270 0.04229 63 55 8 0
4882 Bring us some of the snacks we left in the Pyramids. 1.1270 0.04229 63 55 8 0
4883 I brought you all here to discuss the elephant in the room. 1.1270 0.04229 63 55 8 0
4884 Nelson, of course, is from HR. 1.1270 0.04229 63 55 8 0
4885 You don't deserve a seat at the table any longer. 1.1270 0.04229 63 55 8 0
4886 This happy earthling left his planet in 1967 and hasn't heard from it since. 1.1270 0.04229 63 55 8 0
4887 Don't forget, you're all acting Department directors 1.1270 0.04796 63 56 6 1
4888 New introductions aside,I know having an internal auditor will seem alien to many of you. 1.1270 0.04796 63 56 6 1
4889 We needed some diversity in here so I asked Bob from Accounting to join us. 1.1270 0.04229 63 55 8 0
4890 Demons of Hell, I'm proud to introduce our newest member: Bill the Paralegal." 1.1270 0.04796 63 56 6 1
4891 Yes, he's impossibly ugly, but he's extremely competent. 1.1270 0.04229 63 55 8 0
4892 So, do we accept this WEIRDO into our private meeting, orchophim up a share him? 1.1270 0.04796 63 56 6 1
4893 This is the creator of the Little orphan Annie."You all remember the ," leaping lizards phrase".Well some of you have issues with it , but it did put on the world stage. 1.1270 0.04229 63 55 8 0
4894 You can join us if you can understand 1.1270 0.04229 63 55 8 0
4895 Charles will take our lunch orders - and afterwards Tirzah from Strategic Planning will update us on the giant asteroid heading our way. I hear it's a doozy. 1.1270 0.04229 63 55 8 0
4896 I'd like to introduce John Smith, our director of a new department we call "Human Resources." 1.1270 0.04229 63 55 8 0
4897 This is Toby from HR; he's here to do some team building for this Professional Development. 1.1270 0.04229 63 55 8 0
4898 Aw, come on, one token white guy and we get the shareholder diversity nuts off our asses. 1.1270 0.04229 63 55 8 0
4899 We have a new prospect for the Mr. Universe pageant. 1.1270 0.04796 63 56 6 1
4900 You didn't tell him this is casual Friday? 1.1270 0.04229 63 55 8 0
4901 I know he looks a little grotesque, but he does represent the newest member of our federation. 1.1270 0.04796 63 56 6 1
4902 Don't be scared, its just my lawyer 1.1270 0.04229 63 55 8 0
4903 The board of Nightmares, Inc welcomes it's newest member, The Man from the IRS. 1.1270 0.04229 63 55 8 0
4904 Hideous, terrifying, simply disgusting. The face of the creature in the corner, the one wearing the suit and tie, may not be as revoltingly terrible as he appears once you get to know him. 1.1270 0.04229 63 55 8 0
4905 ...and now a word from our breakfast. 1.1270 0.04796 63 56 6 1
4906 It hasn't been easy, but I think we've finally managed to comply with the new workplace diversity rules." 1.1270 0.04796 63 56 6 1
4907 What's with the weird-looking guy, always showing up? 1.1270 0.04796 63 56 6 1
4908 Yeah haha i told that human boy I wanted to raid HIS area 51 ahahah.....oh...hey Benjamin, how long you been there pal? 1.1270 0.04796 63 56 6 1
4909 We have invited you here today to conduct marketing feedback our our new meat-like chicken substitute. Any questions before we get started? 1.1270 0.04796 63 56 6 1
4910 Leonard here is to talk to us about the challenges of diversity in the workplace. 1.1270 0.04796 63 56 6 1
4911 As I'm sure you've all heard, white men are the real monsters. 1.1270 0.04796 63 56 6 1
4912 Reptilians run this galaxy 1.1270 0.04229 63 55 8 0
4913 Joe is the firm's spokes species on our commitment to equality. 1.1270 0.04229 63 55 8 0
4914 Greetings, fellow Pond Scum Brethren! I know you’ll keep our banner high.” William Hunter, Plymouth M 1.1270 0.05303 63 57 4 2
4915 John here, feels we need more diversity in the company 1.1270 0.05303 63 57 4 2
4916 In keeping with our company's policy of diverse hiring, I'd like to introduce Larry. 1.1270 0.04229 63 55 8 0
4917 Austin and Portland are weird, but our city can easily top them. 1.1270 0.04796 63 56 6 1
4918 Brought in a new marketing guru. We have to separate ourselves from all the other monsters running companies! 1.1270 0.04796 63 56 6 1
4919 I think they're scared enough. 1.1270 0.04796 63 56 6 1
4920 Because of our heavy schedule we're having cold meats for lunch. 1.1270 0.04229 63 55 8 0
4921 Who's the new weirdo? 1.1270 0.04229 63 55 8 0
4922 Higgins, here, tells me we’re taking Casual Friday a bit too far. 1.1270 0.04229 63 55 8 0
4923 He's still doing his hair. 1.1270 0.04229 63 55 8 0
4924 Tom is here to discuss the company's new diversity initiative. 1.1270 0.04796 63 56 6 1
4925 Please welcome Rei, specifically in charge of creating new trends from iconic moments in history, like large green polka dots circa Bob Dylan at Newport Festival 1965. 1.1270 0.05303 63 57 4 2
4926 Hast seen the White Whale? 1.1270 0.04229 63 55 8 0
4927 I'm sorry the best we could do was a human caterer, but Yelp says they have a quite eclectic and interesting menu 1.1270 0.04796 63 56 6 1
4928 What say we start with something slow moving? 1.1270 0.04229 63 55 8 0
4929 Apparently, he didn’t get the memo. 1.1270 0.04229 63 55 8 0
4930 And Larry will be head our new Human Resources Department. 1.1270 0.04796 63 56 6 1
4931 In our pledge to honor diversity the BOD has selected a new member... 1.1270 0.04796 63 56 6 1
4932 I'd like to introduce our new Diversity Chair. 1.1270 0.04796 63 56 6 1
4933 We think the movie would benefit from a more nuisanced examination into the monster's motives. 1.1270 0.04796 63 56 6 1
4934 I think he could help us meet the diversity quota. 1.1270 0.04796 63 56 6 1
4935 I'd like to introduce the winner of the scariest intergalactic costume contest... 1.1270 0.04229 63 55 8 0
4936 And the scariest costume award goes to...Bob, who is sporting business casual. 1.1270 0.04796 63 56 6 1
4937 Here we pride ourself on our diversity and inclusion. 1.1270 0.04796 63 56 6 1
4938 This is the new Halloween monster we've come up with. Scary or what! 1.1270 0.04229 63 55 8 0
4939 The raid on Area 51: September 20th, 2019 1.1270 0.04229 63 55 8 0
4940 Everyone, please welcome Jeff, who’s here to update us on the human race. 1.1270 0.04229 63 55 8 0
4941 EEEEEK! What's that THING that just walked in the room? 1.1270 0.04796 63 56 6 1
4942 I'd like you all to welcome our new board member to this meeting of Extincts and Aliens, Inc. 1.1270 0.04229 63 55 8 0
4943 I'd like to introduce Bob, who's going to be the face of our brand moving forward. 1.1270 0.04229 63 55 8 0
4944 Thank goodness there is no Quid Pro Quo here today! 1.1270 0.04229 63 55 8 0
4945 And I’d like to thank Roger for offering himself as our mid-meeting snack. 1.1270 0.04229 63 55 8 0
4946 This is Kevin from HR, there have been some complaints about attire that is too revealing. 1.1270 0.04796 63 56 6 1
4947 This is Gary. He’s new. 1.1270 0.04229 63 55 8 0
4948 Joe here is the winner of our annual costume contest. 1.1270 0.04229 63 55 8 0
4949 Please welcome Fred. He's a little late but already dressed for dinner. 1.1270 0.04796 63 56 6 1
4950 This is Larry. He's a bit hard on the eyes, but he's a great salesman. 1.1270 0.04229 63 55 8 0
4951 Don't you like you ark? 1.1270 0.04229 63 55 8 0
4952 Nobody told me there would be costumes at this meeting. 1.1270 0.04796 63 56 6 1
4953 The Committee findings are: We need to have two eyes, able to look forward. 1.1270 0.04229 63 55 8 0
4954 Listen fellas, for next year I want the option for dental insurance. You see, I have three cavities, and two teeth that will need to be pulled ! 1.1270 0.04796 63 56 6 1
4955 Well, I thought we could just add another 15 or 20 feet in height to that wall along our southern border. History certainly won't repeat itself as all of you know. 1.1270 0.05303 63 57 4 2
4956 It's called affirmative action and I don't like it any more than you do! 1.1270 0.04796 63 56 6 1
4957 Let's hear what he has to say first, and then eat him! 1.1270 0.04229 63 55 8 0
4958 I ordered human milk for the children, and it is taking time. 1.1270 0.04796 63 56 6 1
4959 Bob here is an ‘image specialist.’ 1.1270 0.04229 63 55 8 0
4960 Now, I know what you all must be thinking.... 1.1270 0.04229 63 55 8 0
4961 Around here, Hadley, we like to think outside the box. 1.1270 0.04229 63 55 8 0
4962 Jan, here, is our new ergonomic director. Send a completed 2345 form to his team and you'll be able to get proper seating. 1.1270 0.04229 63 55 8 0
4963 Should we let him sit at the table and if so, where? 1.1270 0.04229 63 55 8 0
4964 I'd like to welcome our Diversity Trainer. 1.1270 0.04796 63 56 6 1
4965 If he doesn't work out as a member of the Executive Board we can always eat him! 1.1270 0.04796 63 56 6 1
4966 1. It's NEXT week... 2. Who forgot to bathe? 3. Have you all eaten? 4. The lion can't make it... 1.1270 0.04796 63 56 6 1
4967 I know he looks different, but he'll bring diversity to our board. 1.1270 0.04229 63 55 8 0
4968 But I am in costume 1.1270 0.04229 63 55 8 0
4969 Please welcome John, our token human, to the board. 1.1270 0.04229 63 55 8 0
4970 So he’s different than us. Who are we to reject him just for being a Libertarian? 1.1270 0.04796 63 56 6 1
4971 Congratulations to the Employee of the month, Mr Anonymous Insider. 1.1270 0.04229 63 55 8 0
4972 Time for lunch orders, we have chair to table specials today! 1.1270 0.04796 63 56 6 1
4973 Well, my pretties, I make a motion to bring a new life form onto our board. We need to bring the most lethal available to ensure profits over customers. 1.1270 0.04796 63 56 6 1
4974 Larry, over there doesn't like humans, and you'll have a hard time trying to get him to change his spots. 1.1270 0.04229 63 55 8 0
4975 Han Solo's Pivotal Moment 1.1270 0.04229 63 55 8 0
4976 If we're serious about our commitment to diversity, we should vote to bring Kent onto our board. 1.1270 0.04229 63 55 8 0
4977 As the abductee's absence will soon be noticed, maybe we should move on from the grooming questions. 1.1270 0.04229 63 55 8 0
4978 Sorry, my friend doesn't care much about theme parties. 1.1270 0.04229 63 55 8 0
4979 I want you to meet Henry; he may seemed a little odd at first, but you'll get used to him 1.1270 0.04229 63 55 8 0
4980 This guy says we're the best looking board he's consulted. 1.1270 0.04229 63 55 8 0
4981 Does anyone understand what Robert is saying? We forgot to hire a translator... Robert from HR is here to brief us on some diversity concerns. 1.1270 0.04229 63 55 8 0
4982 Let Claude know if you'd like extrasolar candidates for liquid water. 1.1270 0.04796 63 56 6 1
4983 I’m sorry. Freaks and geeks doth not diversity make. 1.1270 0.04796 63 56 6 1
4984 Please welcome Fred from HR. His talk is called "Diversity and Inclusion: Is Too Much a Good Thing?" 1.1270 0.04229 63 55 8 0
4985 Well, it certainly looks like the diversity hiring program is working. 1.1270 0.04229 63 55 8 0
4986 You'll see. It was a perfect letter and Mick is a perfect Chief of Staff. 1.1270 0.05303 63 57 4 2
4987 How do you guys feel about killing teeny-boppers? 1.1270 0.05303 63 57 4 2
4988 We’ve decided to employ someone from left field 1.1270 0.04796 63 56 6 1
4989 Mr. Dunham is here to talk through the acquisition of our company by Humans, Inc. 1.1270 0.04229 63 55 8 0
4990 Hi everyone. This is Fred Walker and he's here to apply for his species to no longer be dinner. 1.1270 0.04796 63 56 6 1
4991 I object to the motion to allow an earthling to join us on obvious grounds. 1.1270 0.04796 63 56 6 1
4992 We’ve hired Jones here to lead the diversity work 1.1270 0.04796 63 56 6 1
4993 ...and so Fellows of the Self-Annihilating-Moronic-Species Society,I have found a new race that is absolutely on the fast track for full membership! 1.1270 0.04796 63 56 6 1
4994 Hey, lighten up, gals! It's time we diversified our workforce. Besides, he's covered his privates. 1.1270 0.04796 63 56 6 1
4995 I think we're ready to market eight designs. 1.1270 0.04229 63 55 8 0
4996 So, as head of this new corporation, there will be no more shenanigans. 1.1270 0.04229 63 55 8 0
4997 Wakajawaka? No. This is for Jabbapalooza II. 1.1270 0.04796 63 56 6 1
4998 So it's agreed that this will be the cute animal mascot for our new universal ad campaign. 1.1270 0.04229 63 55 8 0
4999 Now try not to be afraid. I've decided to bring in some fresh talent. 1.1270 0.04229 63 55 8 0
5000 Stop scratching. 1.1270 0.04796 63 56 6 1
5001 Do we agree that we want to have this human for diner? 1.1270 0.04796 63 56 6 1
5002 This is Paul, who is wearing the new peacetime Stormtrooper uniform 1.1270 0.04229 63 55 8 0
5003 Our shareholders requested we add a white, male human to the board. 1.1270 0.04229 63 55 8 0
5004 Mr. Robinson wants to talk to us about increasing diversity on the Board. 1.1270 0.05303 63 57 4 2
5005 Bob Anderson, our new public relations consultant, is here today to talk to us about combating the recent libelous claims that we’re all a little “slimy.” 1.1270 0.04796 63 56 6 1
5006 Haven't you read about our restaurant's 'New' dress code?" 1.1270 0.04229 63 55 8 0
5007 Earth will be making closing remarks at our millennial Intergalactic Summit, as it is ‘not long for this Universe.’ 1.1270 0.04229 63 55 8 0
5008 Great job on the presentation everyone. Lunch is me. 1.1270 0.04229 63 55 8 0
5009 Marv here was hired as part of our push for diversity. 1.1270 0.04229 63 55 8 0
5010 Team, I’d like you to meet my brother-in-law. He will be the new head of Human Resources. 1.1270 0.04229 63 55 8 0
5011 I know, he's scary looking. 1.1270 0.04229 63 55 8 0
5012 Bernie here has requested it be a vegan potluck dinner. 1.1270 0.04796 63 56 6 1
5013 Diversity initiative meeting 1.1270 0.04229 63 55 8 0
5014 Garcon, we would prefer a clean table near a window. 1.1270 0.04229 63 55 8 0
5015 He was just transferred from earth. Yayo Chinea Antioch, Calif. 1.1270 0.04796 63 56 6 1
5016 Well, let's take a little break, it looks like our lunch just arrived. 1.1270 0.04229 63 55 8 0
5017 Now we need someone to head the Human Resources Department. Any volunteers? 1.1270 0.04229 63 55 8 0
5018 Tim wants to offer a few words of thanks for the good work we’ve done on the diversity initiative. 1.1270 0.04229 63 55 8 0
5019 Please welcome our token human member." 1.1270 0.04229 63 55 8 0
5020 He says this asteroid is no big deal. Unless you happen to live near the Yucatan. 1.1270 0.05303 63 57 4 2
5021 Monsters, Gary here thinks we're better off forming an LLC. 1.1250 0.04167 64 56 8 0
5022 Let's all welcome Stan, our new diversity hire. 1.1250 0.04167 64 56 8 0
5023 No need to change places. 1.1167 0.04808 60 54 5 1
5024 We hired a human resource to insure this company never evolves into something sustainable. 1.1167 0.04808 60 54 5 1
5025 This is Mr. Smith from employee resources. 1.1167 0.04179 60 53 7 0
5026 The public wants diversity? You're our new spokesperson Mr. Smith! Greg Stroupe Madison, WI 1.1167 0.04808 60 54 5 1
5027 OK, I’ll try to define ‘quid, pro quo’; it’s really not that hard for anyone to understand, regardless of one’s creed or background. 1.1167 0.04808 60 54 5 1
5028 We'll forgive him, he's from earth. Sad. 1.1167 0.04179 60 53 7 0
5029 We've brought you to this interview not only because of your outstanding qualifications, but also because our stockholders have made it clear that they are enthusiastic about diversity among staff. 1.1167 0.04179 60 53 7 0
5030 If we’re serious about diversity, we’re going to have to add him to the Board. 1.1167 0.04179 60 53 7 0
5031 You know that we committed to increasing diversity in the workforce, right?. 1.1167 0.04179 60 53 7 0
5032 I know everyone’s pretty hungry so let’s break for lunch. 1.1167 0.04179 60 53 7 0
5033 HR is using Monster.com. Why do you ask? 1.1167 0.04808 60 54 5 1
5034 I'm ordering lunch. Any dietary restrictions? 1.1167 0.04179 60 53 7 0
5035 I present to you the scariest being in the galaxy. This costume will sell out this Halloween. 1.1167 0.05363 60 55 3 2
5036 Let's bring this animal meeting to order. 1.1167 0.04179 60 53 7 0
5037 Is this Chalmun's Cantina? 1.1167 0.04179 60 53 7 0
5038 Our new P. R. Consultant is here to tell us if we need to improve our image. 1.1167 0.04179 60 53 7 0
5039 Let's welcome diversity! 1.1167 0.04179 60 53 7 0
5040 We have hired a consultant to settle the carnivore vs vegetarian debate. 1.1167 0.04179 60 53 7 0
5041 Looks like someone didn’t get the memo for 'Dress Up Like an Alien Day.' 1.1167 0.04808 60 54 5 1
5042 I'm the new acting kangaroo. 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
5043 You all know John from Human Resources? 1.1148 0.04115 61 54 7 0
5044 Glad we could all make it to our monthly Characters From Fictional Worlds Created By Sociopaths meeting. I am, of course, Ybbsyylmath from H.P. Lovecraft’s Shylnm mythos. And I’d like to introduce Greg, from the Friendzone, created by a Reddit man. 1.1148 0.05278 61 56 3 2
5045 I said costume inventory, not invention. 1.1148 0.05278 61 56 3 2
5046 In the spirit of diversity I'd like to introduce our new Board Member John Smith. 1.1148 0.04115 61 54 7 0
5047 This gentleman would like to know if we are interested in his line of suits. 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
5048 Looks like Steve dressed up as a human again this year. 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
5049 At first glance Bob may seem different, but he's well suited for the job. 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
5050 Make a fortitude save. 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
5051 We're sorry Jason but your penis is just not weird looking enough to keep you as part of the Goldstein, Krist & Monster Penis family. We are however happy to offer all the glowing references we can! Your nipples, for example, are truly haunting. 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
5052 Who ordered the human with extra imposter syndrome? 1.1148 0.04115 61 54 7 0
5053 Everyone, Steve's blood test indicates he's 1/1000 beast. 1.1148 0.04115 61 54 7 0
5054 I would like to induct into membership the great white shark. 1.1148 0.05278 61 56 3 2
5055 I've decided to go outside the galaxy for the new CEO. 1.1148 0.04115 61 54 7 0
5056 We're adding Fred to increase diversity of our board. 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
5057 He can either be our new Chief Financial Officer or lunch. 1.1148 0.04115 61 54 7 0
5058 Dan's brought some fresh ideas that are going to take this company to mythical heights. 1.1148 0.04115 61 54 7 0
5059 Your Doctor Who? 1.1148 0.04115 61 54 7 0
5060 He thinks outside the ox. 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
5061 As I've said, I wanted to focus on diversity and inclusion going forward, so we've hired a human. Please don't eat him. 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
5062 I'd like you to meet our new intern Ryan. He comes to us highly rated. Of course we are not paying him anything. 1.1148 0.04115 61 54 7 0
5063 May I introduce our newest member Vente Pharma 1.1148 0.04115 61 54 7 0
5064 Meet my new assistant. He is part of our diversification program. 1.1148 0.04115 61 54 7 0
5065 Tell this grotesquerie your lunch orders so we can move on. 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
5066 '"Allow me to introduce our new employee Lou, or as I like to call him: dinner." 1.1148 0.04115 61 54 7 0
5067 Welcome to the first meeting in of the mutants society! 1.1148 0.05278 61 56 3 2
5068 Who is ready to break for lunch?! 1.1148 0.04115 61 54 7 0
5069 OK, so we're all in agreement, no more humans at the table! 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
5070 Nick from HR is back to continue his presentation on progress for human women in the workplace. 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
5071 Yes, we'll all have the soup after the board meeting." 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
5072 Welcome aboard Kevin - we want you to feel like part of the family here. We're all on the same team and feeling the love. You're one of us now. Here's to Kevin!! 1.1148 0.04115 61 54 7 0
5073 Ok for the last time, eating clients is bad business. 1.1148 0.04115 61 54 7 0
5074 Meat, meat, I say . It’s because we eat too much meat. 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
5075 Did you forget to bring Catan? 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
5076 Everyone here? Hu-man can you leave this is a private meeting. 1.1148 0.04115 61 54 7 0
5077 Good morning, Bob. As you can see, we've decided to take your suggestion and make transparency a priority. 1.1148 0.04115 61 54 7 0
5078 I thought we agreed to all strip naked for charity, Ned. 1.1148 0.04115 61 54 7 0
5079 Kezo umbo jatzi monto kleba emadolet kreso, 'Fred". 1.1148 0.04115 61 54 7 0
5080 Our latest Halloween concept is our scariest yet...say hello to "Ralph Wall-Street!" 1.1148 0.05278 61 56 3 2
5081 Lets welcome Bob to the team everyone, he'll give us a new perspective. 1.1148 0.04115 61 54 7 0
5082 And then they sent their K-9's in there. I call them dogs....they were delicious. 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
5083 Here's our "family style" catered lunch for today's meeting. Dig in! 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
5084 The board said we needed someone more personable. 1.1148 0.04115 61 54 7 0
5085 They said we had to hire someone who hadn't been accused of sexual harassment. 1.1148 0.04115 61 54 7 0
5086 The sign said Star Wars Bar. 1.1148 0.04115 61 54 7 0
5087 Gentleman, I present you Lunch! 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
5088 Next, I'd like to introduce Ben, who wrote and implemented our Diversity Plan. 1.1148 0.04115 61 54 7 0
5089 This is Harold, our diversity hire. 1.1148 0.04115 61 54 7 0
5090 We take fiduciary duties very seriously at this firm, or else we would have eaten you. 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
5091 PR says we've been too aggressive. Who's hungry? 1.1148 0.04115 61 54 7 0
5092 As we try to diversify the board, I would like everyone to welcome Bob. 1.1148 0.04115 61 54 7 0
5093 This is Gary. He’s a sapiosexcual. 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
5094 So is there an end to this diversity thing..... or is more limitless like the universe? Tim we get it you live in a different spacetime zone, but you cant keep showing up late 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
5095 John is here because, in the interest of diversity, I've asked him to join our board. 1.1148 0.04115 61 54 7 0
5096 I'd like you to meet the newest member of our team. His name is Ted, but you can call him ‘lunch.’ 1.1148 0.04115 61 54 7 0
5097 All those in favor of Count Dracula, here, joining our Monsters Guild, say Aye 1.1148 0.04115 61 54 7 0
5098 it’s a little hard to conduct a meeting if we shouldn’t stare 1.1148 0.05278 61 56 3 2
5099 Each of you belong under a child's bed, but whose? 1.1148 0.04115 61 54 7 0
5100 Sorry to break it to you like this, Mr. Whiteman, but the vote was "Men in Black" - four and "Man in White" - one, with two abstentions. "Men in Black" it is. And, may I say, it's about time! 1.1148 0.04115 61 54 7 0
5101 'Tyś Nas W Ekologiczne Szambo Wpakował Jak Nas z Tego Będziesz Ewakuovał¿? 1.1148 0.04115 61 54 7 0
5102 I've asked Roger here to present a point of view from the fringe. 1.1148 0.04115 61 54 7 0
5103 The stock holders demanded we get down to Earth--that's why. 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
5104 We'll go around the table and say nice things about me. The new Board member can just watch. 1.1148 0.04115 61 54 7 0
5105 This is Bob, and I think the fact that he wants to join "NNA", Not Normal Anonymous, qualifies him for membership. Shall we vote?_ 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
5106 And for the final section of our sensitivity training, let's see how long we can last without eating Jenkins here. 1.1148 0.05278 61 56 3 2
5107 You’re kind’a outnumbered, Buddy, so better luck next time. 1.1148 0.04115 61 54 7 0
5108 Who agrees that since the takeover, human resources are no longer a priority? 1.1148 0.04115 61 54 7 0
5109 Everyone, Dave here will address those questions you have about our new diversity program. 1.1148 0.04115 61 54 7 0
5110 Bob, I'm glad you could join us. Before we begin, any good take-out suggestions? 1.1148 0.04115 61 54 7 0
5111 Mr. Smiley, from our Public Relations Department, will now go through the strategy of how we can improve our corporate image. 1.1148 0.05278 61 56 3 2
5112 Translation: "What are the odds! Halloween! I can't believe it!" 1.1148 0.04115 61 54 7 0
5113 Our new HR Director, Brandon, will facilitate a Cultural Sensitivity exercise I believe you all will enjoy. 1.1148 0.04115 61 54 7 0
5114 Which one of you is dinner? 1.1148 0.04732 61 54 5 1
5115 He's the new attraction to the zoo. 1.1148 0.04115 61 54 7 0
5116 He’s assured me that this reorganization will maximize shareholder value 1.1148 0.04115 61 54 7 0
5117 Frank from accounting is here to tell us about our monster year. 1.1148 0.04115 61 54 7 0
5118 Don't be frightened, mates. It's only a paralegal. 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
5119 First on the agenda is Maurice who wants us to kick around his ideas for a book sequel. 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
5120 Apparently you didn't get the memo. 1.1148 0.04115 61 54 7 0
5121 Now I'd like to introduce our new Chief Diversity and Inclusion Officer. 1.1148 0.04115 61 54 7 0
5122 In the interests of diversity, I've decided to add a human to the board. So please let's give a warm welcome to Kevin! 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
5123 little did he know...he just walked into an acronym nightmare. 1.1148 0.04115 61 54 7 0
5124 Please welcome our new hire. I think he'll bring a diverse perspective. 1.1148 0.04115 61 54 7 0
5125 (around the Rick and Morty writing table) This season is going to be off the hook. Not only am I going to direct, but I'm going to star in three episodes, two of which will show full penetration of two sexes and three species, a first for cable. 1.1148 0.04115 61 54 7 0
5126 Boy can we teach them a thing or two... 1.1148 0.04115 61 54 7 0
5127 I'm very glad we've at last undressed the elephant. Now if that's all... . 1.1148 0.04115 61 54 7 0
5128 We ordered out lunch today. 1.1148 0.04115 61 54 7 0
5129 Since this will be a long meeting, I brought refreshments. 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
5130 Welllll Spotty, if you'd been here on time this morning when Lucretia took lunch orders, you could've told her you were a vegan now. 1.1148 0.05278 61 56 3 2
5131 I’ve asked Hank from AR to come to the meeting to discuss healthcare options. 1.1148 0.04115 61 54 7 0
5132 Wow. So this is where all the important decisions are made! 1.1148 0.04115 61 54 7 0
5133 When we said 'clothing optional' we hoped you'd take the hint, Ralph! 1.1148 0.04115 61 54 7 0
5134 Let's all welcome Howard,our new diversity hire. 1.1148 0.04115 61 54 7 0
5135 All in favor of letting this freak on the board raise your claw. 1.1148 0.04115 61 54 7 0
5136 OOH, the potato salad was THAT bad! 1.1148 0.04115 61 54 7 0
5137 He said he was the pizza delivery guy. 1.1148 0.04115 61 54 7 0
5138 Sorry, that woman already holds the homo sapiens chair. 1.1148 0.04115 61 54 7 0
5139 Everyone, please welcome our newest staff member, Mr Smith. ...and I better not hear any cracks about affirmative action. 1.1148 0.04115 61 54 7 0
5140 Do you guys happen to know where Snow White is? My daughter's obsessed with her. By the way, good job saving Snow White from the evil witch. You are the seven dwarves, are you not? 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
5141 Melvin here is our new diversity officer. He's also lunch 1.1148 0.04115 61 54 7 0
5142 And now Bill would like to give a little talk about not eating human resources. 1.1148 0.04115 61 54 7 0
5143 not to worry he's from the department of human resources. 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
5144 Thank you, Brad, for your informative presentation on image enhancement. All those in favor of eating Brad? 1.1148 0.04115 61 54 7 0
5145 He wants to join us. He says everyone seems to think he is a monster. 1.1148 0.04115 61 54 7 0
5146 Relax. Yes, he's our new Human Resources guy, but he's not cold-blooded. 1.1148 0.04115 61 54 7 0
5147 Bob is here to train us on diversity. 1.1148 0.04115 61 54 7 0
5148 I’d like to introduce our new Humanities Professor. 1.1148 0.04115 61 54 7 0
5149 Our corporate image may be inconsistent, sure, but he really understands the scale of the problem 1.1148 0.04115 61 54 7 0
5150 Mr Mooney will take your lunch orders. Remember, just sandwiches ... and nothing too exotic. 1.1148 0.04115 61 54 7 0
5151 Okay everyone, let's take a quick break... lunch is here. 1.1148 0.04115 61 54 7 0
5152 Before we begin, let me introduce our new Director of Diversity. 1.1148 0.04115 61 54 7 0
5153 Ignore the new guy, he's a diversity hire. 1.1148 0.04115 61 54 7 0
5154 Sorry Gordox, we're going with Jim as our new head of Flesh Eating. 1.1148 0.04115 61 54 7 0
5155 He's our independent director! 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
5156 Let's be mindful that our goal here is octapartisanship. 1.1148 0.04115 61 54 7 0
5157 Of course he’s a token. But doesn’t he look tasty 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
5158 The meeting will now come to disorder, our diversity hire will mis-take notes, and... hang on there Bubba, you'll get your lick in. 1.1148 0.04115 61 54 7 0
5159 This is George Zlotty, the hominid addition to our Species Resources team. And I might add he is officially inedible, especially for those with stripe or button allergies. 1.1148 0.04115 61 56 4 1
5160 He comes to us from Monster.com 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
5161 Whose turn was to cook today? 1.1148 0.04115 61 54 7 0
5162 Let's welcome Rigby from HR My wife and I share this account. The caption is being submitted under the name:. Ron Taffel 1.1148 0.04115 61 54 7 0
5163 I move we make Jason the face of the company. 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
5164 If the movie casting is closed, we’d all like to be considered for the next wave of Cabinet members. We have no ties to Mexico. 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
5165 Listen up animals, Mr. Lyons has something he wants to roar about. (No pun intended - ha, ha, ha) 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
5166 Gentlemen,this is what our low-IQ ancestors looked like before they destroyed themselves. 1.1148 0.04115 61 54 7 0
5167 I vote that we give him a seat at the table." John David Smith, Charlotte, N 1.1148 0.04115 61 54 7 0
5168 Little Adam Schitt stole our human projection devices! 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
5169 All those in favor of admitting the funny-looking guy, say 'Aye.'" 1.1148 0.04115 61 54 7 0
5170 I think it’s time to bring some diversity to our board. 1.1148 0.04115 61 54 7 0
5171 To help our efforts to become more inclusive, I'd like to introduce Todd Beakman, who will head our human interface program. And remember, this time don't eat him! 1.1148 0.04115 61 54 7 0
5172 Now don't let my size influence you in listing my accomplishments to-date. 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
5173 Yes, appearances do count but for once let’s try to think outside of the box. 1.1148 0.04115 61 54 7 0
5174 I told you it was a bad sign that Unhuman Resources is here 1.1148 0.04115 61 54 7 0
5175 He claims he’s an alien too. 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
5176 Out of this world Solutions that we we need! 1.1148 0.04732 61 55 5 1
5177 Hello. My name is Snerg. My preferred vowels are he, him, and his. 1.1129 0.04052 62 55 7 0
5178 Let's take a vote. Should we let the new guy sit with us? 1.1129 0.04659 62 56 5 1
5179 Now we got rid of the donkeys we can get some work done 1.1129 0.04052 62 55 7 0
5180 Why does HE get to decide, Solo? Show of “Hans!” 1.1081 0.03634 74 66 8 0
5181 Beyonce's Illuminati parties are getting out of hand. 1.1061 0.03819 66 59 7 0
5182 I'd like you to meet our MIB plant. 1.1053 0.04101 57 51 6 0
5183 Good... I see my next six meals are ready... Who wants to be first? 1.1053 0.04101 57 51 6 0
5184 If anyone objects to the interloper joining our board raise your left appendage. 1.1053 0.04101 57 51 6 0
5185 George Orwell's agent called and asked if we had permission to move forward with the agricultural project. . 1.1053 0.04805 57 52 4 1
5186 Sorry Larry, you clearly didn't get the memo 1.1053 0.04101 57 51 6 0
5187 Since he seems to act and look like one, I make a motion that we turn him into a 'weasel 'and then to dispose of him during lunch. 1.1053 0.04101 57 51 6 0
5188 This will be our final review as to which of you aptly fits the role of 'seasonal depression' for our holiday ad campaign and brand rollout here at Quint Pharmaceuticals. 1.1053 0.04805 57 52 4 1
5189 I, for one, respect our alien overlords in their commitment to workplace diversity. 1.1053 0.04101 57 51 6 0
5190 .....We were told there would be SNACKS 1.1053 0.04101 57 51 6 0
5191 Let’s all welcome the latest member to the Cabinet! Igor, say hi to the boys! 1.1053 0.04805 57 52 4 1
5192 Can we have a moment of silence before lunch is served up 1.1053 0.04101 57 51 6 0
5193 Stripey tie's not so bad. If it were polka dots, then definitely we'd eat him, cuz polka dots are so UGLY. 1.1053 0.04805 57 52 4 1
5194 But first, Mr. Gordon Keeble from HR would like to speak to us about our lack of diversity in hiring. 1.1053 0.04101 57 51 6 0
5195 You ever get the feeling that your whole existence is some kind of allegory for the soulless greed of corporate America? Anyway, this is Bob, he's the new guy in charge of our child concentration camp division. 1.1053 0.04805 57 52 4 1
5196 This is our latest extinct species from one planet earth, but the place is way out! 1.1053 0.04805 57 52 4 1
5197 Please join me in welcoming Bob, our new director of diversity and inclusion. 1.1053 0.04101 57 51 6 0
5198 We really are having trouble getting a Cabinet 1.1053 0.04805 57 52 4 1
5199 We do not think you have the lung capacity for this ocean work" 1.1053 0.04101 57 51 6 0
5200 Thanks for meeting, Senators. 1.1053 0.04101 57 51 6 0
5201 Please overlook his strange appearance and welcome to the board of interplanetary coexistence, Joe from earth. 1.1053 0.04805 57 52 4 1
5202 I know he is an unorthodox hire, but we have to give Chad a chance. 1.1053 0.04101 57 51 6 0
5203 You can't fire me. I wouldn't taste good charred. 1.1053 0.04805 57 52 4 1
5204 How many of you think this button down specimen will taste like chicken once we take him off the rotisserie? 1.1053 0.04101 57 51 6 0
5205 Break time, lunch is here 1.1053 0.04805 57 52 4 1
5206 He's our merch guy, so don't touch him... 1.1053 0.04805 57 52 4 1
5207 Don’t be afraid - it’s just Marv in Halloween costume. Scary, right? 1.1053 0.04101 57 51 6 0
5208 Listen up, fellas. Ned will be joining our group. He eats pizza with a fork. 1.1053 0.04805 57 52 4 1
5209 Everybody meet John, he’s part of our diversity and inclusion team 1.1053 0.04101 57 51 6 0
5210 Dave, when we asked you to join the board, we were thinking more charcuterie than member. 1.1053 0.04101 57 51 6 0
5211 Zach from Human Resources is back. Where did you hide the humans this time? 1.1053 0.03248 57 52 5 0
5212 If he can’t say anything nice about me, he should just leave the cabinet meeting. 1.1053 0.04101 57 51 6 0
5213 The President reminds you that Secretaries who resign must find their own replacements for the rest of the shift. 1.1053 0.04101 57 51 6 0
5214 I am pleased to announce our D&I initiative has been fully realized! 1.1053 0.04101 57 51 6 0
5215 Please welcome our newest member to the Mascot Rejection Club. 1.1053 0.04101 57 51 6 0
5216 Don't shake your finger at me. 1.1053 0.04101 57 51 6 0
5217 Goodmorning. I'd like you to meet Bob. He's here to tell us about our new planet 1.1053 0.04805 57 52 4 1
5218 Now class, here is someone all of us should fear. This is a polotician. 1.1053 0.04805 57 52 4 1
5219 We could all get out of here sooner if you would just scale things down a bit. 1.1053 0.04101 57 51 6 0
5220 Do we need the human to reach quorum? 1.1053 0.04101 57 51 6 0
5221 WE ARE DAMN HUNGRY GET US OUR FAVORITE DISHES QUICKLY 1.1053 0.04101 57 51 6 0
5222 Finally!!! Lunch has arrived! 1.1053 0.04805 57 52 4 1
5223 Join us. We're all about diversity. 1.1053 0.04805 57 52 4 1
5224 Let's take a 10 minute break now that the refreshments have arrived. 1.1053 0.04101 57 51 6 0
5225 This is our new Director for Foreign Affairs 1.1053 0.04101 57 51 6 0
5226 To get to a quorum, we'd have to vote the boring human in. All in favor, raise a claw. Anyone? Anyone? 1.1053 0.04101 57 51 6 0
5227 Take a seat, token human. 1.1053 0.04101 57 51 6 0
5228 Wild King Max? How you’ve grown! 1.1053 0.04805 57 52 4 1
5229 Beam me home ASAP Scotty. Please! 1.1034 0.04034 58 52 6 0
5230 I would like to start the meeting by reminding you all not to eat Bob, our diversity hire. 1.1034 0.04034 58 52 6 0
5231 '"My deplorables, you may wonder why I have asked you here today...." 1.1034 0.04034 58 52 6 0
5232 Looks like someone didn't get the memo about casual Friday." 1.1034 0.04034 58 52 6 0
5233 Everybody is saying I’m the greatest in history. Right, everybody? 1.1034 0.04034 58 52 6 0
5234 If you guys are serious about this dinosaur band stuff, i volunteerto be the manager. 1.1034 0.04034 58 52 6 0
5235 Please welcome Bill, the insurance agent, to the monster council! 1.1034 0.04034 58 52 6 0
5236 Hi dave, this is a intervention......we feel like you don’t include us enough in your “Non imaginary “ plans. 1.1034 0.04034 58 52 6 0
5237 Who feels that diversity in the boardroom is out of control? 1.1034 0.04034 58 52 6 0
5238 So we're all in agreement then, no more eating people in lab coats until we receive our final direct deposit for the very important clinical research study we're presently taking part in? 1.1034 0.04034 58 52 6 0
5239 Let's make the intern feel at home, shall we? 1.1034 0.04725 58 53 4 1
5240 Harold is here from Personnel to tell us about the new casual Friday policy. 1.1034 0.04034 58 52 6 0
5241 This is Jack from HR. He’s here to provide some input for our new diversity initiative. 1.1034 0.04034 58 52 6 0
5242 Don't worry, he's not as bad as he looks. 1.1034 0.04034 58 52 6 0
5243 Please welcome our first non-monster to our board....and to the suggestion that we take on a female non-monster -- well, that will take a little longer.... 1.1034 0.04034 58 52 6 0
5244 Despite evidence to the contrary from the U.S. White House, we have concluded that human intelligence is nearly as high as ours. 1.1034 0.04034 58 52 6 0
5245 Arthur here likes to think out of the box - so let's use him. 1.1034 0.04034 58 52 6 0
5246 Sorry! The board voted, seven to none, to reject your proposal to build a zoo! 1.1034 0.04034 58 52 6 0
5247 This is Bart; he's going to present on Expanding Beyond the Ghoulies and Ghosties Market. 1.1034 0.04034 58 52 6 0
5248 Although Doug, our newest Board Member is metrosexual, he completely adheres to our acknowledged values and more importantly he brings us all new blood 1.1034 0.05326 58 54 2 2
5249 Now, let's not be so quick to judge... that's what we said about Jlarf on his first day. 1.1034 0.04034 58 52 6 0
5250 I'm pleased to introduce our new diversity officer. 1.1034 0.04034 58 52 6 0
5251 My name is Jeff. 1.1017 0.03969 59 53 6 0
5252 The meat here appreciates the claw marks, but asks for a show of paws. 1.1017 0.03969 59 53 6 0
5253 Herschel will be in charge of Human Resources. 1.1017 0.04647 59 54 4 1
5254 By just seeing the body language, I can guess the dishes you are craving for. 1.1017 0.03969 59 53 6 0
5255 Compared to this jerk, Pizza Grinch is basically Mother Theresa! 1.1000 0.03906 60 54 6 0
5256 My name is Gary, and I've been a vegan for three days. 1.1000 0.03906 60 54 6 0
5257 We've hired Bob to bring some variety to the company. 1.1000 0.03906 60 54 6 0
5258 Well actually, we decided to produce our next film without you. 1.1000 0.03906 60 54 6 0
5259 Yes, we come in all different shapes and sizes, but consolidation is inevitable. 1.1000 0.03906 60 54 6 0
5260 My fellow sentient beings, are we so evolved that we fail to recognize the intrinsic worth of this lowly human's lustrous suit of woolen clothing? 1.0984 0.03845 61 55 6 0
5261 One of you ate Harold's tuna salad and you are not all Spartacus. 1.0984 0.03845 61 55 6 0
5262 From this point forward, our company shall be named, "Monsters Inc." 1.0984 0.03845 61 55 6 0
5263 I think we all can agree, thick is better than thin." 1.0984 0.03845 61 55 6 0
5264 Despite his hideous appearance, I call for a vote to allow my favorite human, Fred, to join our fraternity. 1.0984 0.03845 61 55 6 0
5265 To meet with our company's new diversity program, I would like to introduce to you Mr. Harold Schnek. He will be in charge of our new Human Resources Department. 1.0984 0.03845 61 55 6 0
5266 The monsters were all wondering why the annoying human in front of them called them to this stupid meeting for. They soon found out, and were happy to oblige. "Why, we'd be happy to do this for you" they said. 1.0984 0.03845 61 55 6 0
5267 Meet Jon, he’s here to take our lunch order 1.0984 0.03845 61 55 6 0
5268 Jerry here wants to join our crew, he's a state auditor. 1.0984 0.03845 61 55 6 0
5269 This Intergallactic Board Meeting is now in Session. Can I get a motion to Waive the Reading of Last Months Minutes? 1.0952 0.03728 63 57 6 0
5270 Don't blame me, fellas. HR sent him here. 1.0926 0.03982 54 49 5 0
5271 Okay, this guy is going to fix our genetic codes so we can all get high paying jobs. 1.0926 0.03982 54 49 5 0
5272 Frank here is going to give us a new perspective on reality. 1.0926 0.03982 54 49 5 0
5273 “And now, how many of you folks want the raw red meat cubes?” Don Dechman, Austin, TX 1.0926 0.03982 54 49 5 0
5274 I'd like to introduce Ted, our first Chief Diversity Officer. He's raised some concerns about our board structure. 1.0926 0.03982 54 48 5 0
5275 Everyone, this is Walter Parkes, we'll be having him for dinner 1.0926 0.03982 54 49 5 0
5276 shall we let this new guy join the Board of Directors? 1.0926 0.03982 54 49 5 0
5277 He is from corporate’s evolution department. He has some exciting ideas on how to trim our bottom line. 1.0926 0.03982 54 49 5 0
5278 This is why you should invest in the world. Don’t worry it won’t go down as they say. 1.0926 0.04779 54 50 3 1
5279 Show of hands for our HR rep, how many of you are amphibians? 1.0926 0.03982 54 49 5 0
5280 The president will be joining us shortly and glad to see everyone is onboard about scaring those Democrates to drop it. 1.0926 0.03982 54 49 5 0
5281 Who’s the meathead who just walked into the room? 1.0926 0.03982 54 49 5 0
5282 So, do you guys know what a Cabinet does? Have any of you heard anything about the President? 1.0926 0.04779 54 50 3 1
5283 I don’t think this is a good culture fit. 1.0926 0.04779 54 50 3 1
5284 The Earthlings assure me Jared here is their most qualified ambassador for our intergalactic council. 1.0926 0.03982 54 49 5 0
5285 This is Don, your new union rep. Today’s seminar will be about ergonomic positions for under the bed - carpeted or hardwood. 1.0926 0.04779 54 50 3 1
5286 Let’s break here, John will take our orders, moving, fresh or desiccated? 1.0926 0.04779 54 50 3 1
5287 Is that a costume ? 1.0926 0.03982 54 49 5 0
5288 Well guys, you heard the news. Now everybody back in the swamp. 1.0926 0.04779 54 50 3 1
5289 We adore the script guys... but we are absolutely flat out with Marvel and DC until 2150. 1.0926 0.03982 54 49 5 0
5290 Sorry dude, white males don't get a seat at this year's diversity conference. 1.0926 0.03982 54 49 5 0
5291 Following this meal standing beside me, we will be a meat-free office. 1.0926 0.04779 54 50 3 1
5292 No need to be scared of Phill, he's here to help us negotiate irregularity allowance. 1.0926 0.03982 54 49 5 0
5293 The point, ladies and gentlemen, is that qur, for lack of a better word, is good." 1.0926 0.03982 54 49 5 0
5294 Let's welcome Steve who like us is on the spectrum disorder. 1.0926 0.03982 54 49 5 0
5295 No, Fred’s not our diversity hire. He’s lunch. 1.0926 0.03982 54 49 5 0
5296 I want you all to meet our newest member, Glen. He might not look as evil and scary as all of you but Glen was once one of Trump's personal lawyers. I think we can all learn a thing or two from Glen. 1.0909 0.03912 55 50 5 0
5297 is that an angry pizza? 1.0909 0.03912 55 50 5 0
5298 What’s everyone looking for in their next scare? 1.0909 0.03912 55 50 5 0
5299 As you know, HR has been working on new nondiscriminatory hiring practices. I'd like you to meet Frank. 1.0909 0.03912 55 50 5 0
5300 “When we listen and celebrate what is both common and different, we become a wiser, more inclusive, and better organization.” 1.0909 0.03912 55 50 5 0
5301 Do you realize we have been sitting here naked? 1.0893 0.04613 56 52 3 1
5302 Tom may seem outlandish, but give him some time 1.0893 0.03845 56 51 5 0
5303 I hired Bob from Breaking News to boost our ratings for children’s nightmares. 1.0893 0.04613 56 52 3 1
5304 If he seems scary now, wait until he discusses our Q3 earnings. 1.0893 0.04613 56 52 3 1
5305 Stop drooling Ollie. He's here as a quest, not your lunch. 1.0893 0.03845 56 51 5 0
5306 But he's related to the shark and the snake. 1.0893 0.03845 56 51 5 0
5307 First of all, I'd like to thank Dr. Seuess for arranging this meeting of The Seven Deformities...I mean, Otherwise Evolved... 1.0893 0.03845 56 51 5 0
5308 Wilberforce is representing Charles Addams. 1.0893 0.03845 56 51 5 0
5309 Bob, we've been meaning to talk to you about all those midnight meals you've been having. 1.0893 0.03845 56 51 5 0
5310 He wants to know if we want mushrooms and pepperoni or just plain cheese. 1.0893 0.03845 56 51 5 0
5311 It's not much to look at and ain't exactly what you'd call intelligent but come on guys, today's the day we finally met ET! 1.0893 0.03845 56 51 5 0
5312 What a croc. Very tasty. 1.0893 0.04613 56 52 3 1
5313 Everyone ready to order? Or shall we just eat the waiter? 1.0893 0.03845 56 51 5 0
5314 Stan enjoys being“that guy” 1.0893 0.03845 56 51 5 0
5315 Sure, I understand the difference, but 'Monsters LLC' just doesn't have the same effect. 1.0893 0.04613 56 52 3 1
5316 Home Office suggests we adopt a new corporate dress code. 1.0893 0.03845 56 51 5 0
5317 Only candidates with successful experience as corporate mascots will be considered for this position. 1.0893 0.04613 56 52 3 1
5318 I say it’s about time we hire our own, much needed, PR guy and Todd here is one of the best. 1.0893 0.03845 56 51 5 0
5319 Now that you're all here, if you could take your gaze off my awesomeness for a moment -- Actually, no. Let's just leave it there. 1.0893 0.03845 56 51 5 0
5320 Here's Buddy, our new mascot. I think you'll agree that he symbolizes the spirit of our company. 1.0893 0.03845 56 51 5 0
5321 As our new Chief Marketing Officer, Brandon will drive a rebranding exercise to make our products more appealing to a broader customer base. 1.0893 0.03845 56 51 5 0
5322 ...and finally, I am happy to announce that Spottius deplorium is our new UNKNOWN SPECIES of the MONTH. May you never be found, Spotty! 1.0784 0.03802 51 47 4 0
5323 He dressed up for Halloween. 1.0784 0.03802 51 47 4 0
5324 OK. Any more suggestions for Halloween costumes. 1.0784 0.03802 51 47 4 0
5325 I know we said no earthlings, but Pat is less harmless than the breakfast you ate. 1.0784 0.03802 51 47 4 0
5326 Hey, Gang! This is our new intern, Bruce.” (“Try not to stare.”) 1.0784 0.03802 51 47 4 0
5327 There always seems to be at least one odd ball that shows up for these meetings! 1.0784 0.03802 51 47 4 0
5328 In an effort to increase employee retention our newest hire Bob is gluten free and his previous employer assured me that he does not taste very good. 1.0784 0.03802 51 47 4 0
5329 This may be difficult to believe, but someone in this room is a killer. Before the night is over, one of you will be murdered and eaten. And due to the terrible storm, no one is leaving before the weekend. So, shall I serve the pudding? 1.0784 0.03802 51 47 4 0
5330 The Rump sent his son-in-law, Einstein 2.0, to negotiate with us: Too skinny to eat? 1.0784 0.03802 51 47 4 0
5331 This ladies, gentlemen and whatever is affirmative action. 1.0784 0.03802 51 47 4 0
5332 Ed is here to give our required diversity training. 1.0784 0.03802 51 47 4 0
5333 We thought we would finally bring you to the table. 1.0784 0.03802 51 47 4 0
5334 Don't worry my fellow brothers, monsters, and aliens, George here assures me there will be plenty of candy treats this Halloween for us too! 1.0784 0.03802 51 47 4 0
5335 Of course, M.I. is prepared for the future. 1.0784 0.03802 51 47 4 0
5336 Please welcome George Lucas III, casting director for the next Star Wars movie. 1.0784 0.03802 51 47 4 0
5337 Our scary Halloween costume is jumping off the shelves! 1.0784 0.03802 51 47 4 0
5338 All in favor of Sanders as the face of our company say 'Aye' . 1.0784 0.03802 51 47 4 0
5339 I've called you all together because the CEO has just informed me that we need to address the diversity issue vis a vis the human in the room. 1.0784 0.03802 51 47 4 0
5340 My apologies that dinner is taking awhile: Our new butler used to be a politician. 1.0784 0.03802 51 47 4 0
5341 The consultant will now explain our new diversity program... 1.0784 0.03802 51 47 4 0
5342 Good Morning everyone, this is Walter our new head of personnel. He is also filling in as lunch. 1.0784 0.04722 51 48 2 1
5343 What shall we all do this evening 1.0784 0.03802 51 47 4 0
5344 Yes, he's funny looking. But try not to stare. 1.0784 0.03802 51 47 4 0
5345 For the last time, Bob from HR is not to be viewed as a snack. 1.0784 0.03802 51 47 4 0
5346 Say hello to Fred Smith, our new HR in charge of diversity 1.0784 0.03802 51 47 4 0
5347 Is everyone ready to give the human our breakfast order? 1.0784 0.04722 51 48 2 1
5348 She's smiling...is it because she's the Chair, or we look good enough to eat? 1.0784 0.03802 51 47 4 0
5349 To enhance our DEI (Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion), we'd like to welcome Fred Mertz to the Board of Directors! 1.0784 0.04722 51 48 2 1
5350 So, let's all give a big welcome to Frank, our new Director of Diversity. 1.0784 0.04722 51 48 2 1
5351 I guess I’m the odd man out when I say this meeting is pointless 1.0784 0.03802 51 47 4 0
5352 I've already told you, repeatedly, "there was NO quid pro quo!" 1.0784 0.03802 51 47 4 0
5353 Meet our new subcontractor. 1.0784 0.03802 51 47 4 0
5354 Our first in-service will cover acceptance, tolerance and non-discriminatory office protocol. 1.0784 0.03802 51 47 4 0
5355 Guys this is Petrie from accounting, he's here to discuss last week's depreciating assets. 1.0784 0.03802 51 47 4 0
5356 Our newest member, Bill, just finished working as an intern at the White House. 1.0784 0.03802 51 47 4 0
5357 The CEO was happy with the monsters he had created. 1.0769 0.03731 52 48 4 0
5358 I want to thank you all for not eating Bill on his first day. 1.0769 0.04633 52 49 2 1
5359 Oh yes, the token human has finally arrived. 1.0769 0.03731 52 48 4 0
5360 . . . and now welcome our very own Man in Black. 1.0769 0.03731 52 48 4 0
5361 I’d like you all to meet Dave…my new partner,” I introduced to the family, immediately noting the distaste on everyone’s faces. My love’s blissful smile remains, though, completely unaware of the table’s bigotry to humans 1.0769 0.03731 52 48 4 0
5362 It’s agreed: blonds will be kept with the light bulbs, red heads with travel trailers, and brunettes with foreign films. 1.0769 0.03731 52 48 4 0
5363 I'd like you to welcome our most recent hire under our new diversity guidelines. He'll be focusing on our human customers. 1.0769 0.03731 52 48 4 0
5364 We grew up and got jobs too!" 1.0769 0.03731 52 48 4 0
5365 Jake comes highly recommended to the board, hanging juries on both K and Wall Streets. 1.0769 0.03731 52 48 4 0
5366 I thought it was time the board has some new blood. 1.0769 0.03731 52 48 4 0
5367 Boys, this is our intern Mr. Capone. Says we need a different image! 1.0769 0.03731 52 48 4 0
5368 and then someone said: diversity is for the meek 1.0769 0.03731 52 48 4 0
5369 Okay, so here's the new lawyer, but don't be scared anyone, he's on our side. 1.0769 0.03731 52 48 4 0
5370 Everyone, I’d like to introduce Ken, the newest member of our Intergalactic Endangered Species working group. 1.0769 0.03731 52 48 4 0
5371 Say hello to Dan. He was hired to put out fires. 1.0769 0.05386 52 50 0 2
5372 Let's settle down now, class. I'm sure Professor Doyle didn't mean to imply that YOU are the scoundrels among us! 1.0769 0.03731 52 48 4 0
5373 This isn't exactly the diversity I had in mind for the Board of Directors 1.0769 0.03731 52 48 4 0
5374 So, let's take a vote, those in favor of taking over the planet, please say 'aye.' What, Glork? We don't have a quorum? Okay, then let's just eat this nice guy over there. 1.0769 0.03731 52 48 4 0
5375 Welcome to the cabinet meeting where we can finally reveal our true identities and a warm welcome to Jared over here too. 1.0769 0.04633 52 49 2 1
5376 It's time for our next diversity lesson. 1.0769 0.03731 52 48 4 0
5377 I know, I know he may look harmless but he’s actually got quite a reputation as the most lethal parasite: the legal kind. 1.0769 0.03731 52 48 4 0
5378 Grub Hub, Door Dash? Why don't we stick to the place we always order lunch from, 'El Ouija Board' ? 1.0769 0.04633 52 49 2 1
5379 Mr. Phil will tell us about life before the meteor, and then we've invited him for dinner. 1.0769 0.03731 52 48 4 0
5380 Haha, Zwort, great scary costume! 1.0755 0.03663 53 49 4 0
5381 Everybody, this is Theodor Geisel from P.R. I've asked him to draw up a few things for the annual report." 1.0755 0.04547 53 50 2 1
5382 Please join me in congratulating George as the new WH Chief of Staff. Hope he lasts more than the usual y days... 1.0755 0.03663 53 49 4 0
5383 o 1.0755 0.04547 53 50 2 1
5384 Right! It's all agreed then that we disband our membership to the Vegan Club. 1.0755 0.03663 53 49 4 0
5385 Motion for new uniform denied. 1.0755 0.03663 53 49 4 0
5386 . . . and now, our special guest . . . 1.0755 0.03663 53 49 4 0
5387 Here we have a male type of the “prey” Purple People Eater devoured decades ago, way ahead of his time! 1.0755 0.03663 53 49 4 0
5388 Let’s all give a warm welcome to Steve from the Cleveland Office 1.0755 0.04547 53 50 2 1
5389 He wants to deliver something to us called "Trump." 1.0755 0.03663 53 49 4 0
5390 This is the last known of this species and therefore cannot procreate. We am looking for volunteers For a study to attempt a cross species insemination. 1.0755 0.03663 53 49 4 0
5391 Why yes, it is rather like looking at the fish tanks at Chinese restaurants. 1.0755 0.03663 53 49 4 0
5392 Everyone, meet Bob our new manager of Personnel. He has been tasked with promoting diversity in our hiring practices. 1.0755 0.03663 53 49 4 0
5393 Good morning everyone I would like to introduce our new hire "Bob" from accounting 1.0755 0.03663 53 49 4 0
5394 As part of our continuing efforts at diversity, it gives me great pleasure to introduce Ted as our newest board member. 1.0755 0.03663 53 49 4 0
5395 This is my new assistant, Herman. Let’s see if he can last the week without being eaten, okay guys? 1.0755 0.03663 53 49 4 0
5396 Meet Bob, our new diversity hire! Ha, just kidding--he's a whiz at spreadsheets, like all humans. 1.0755 0.03663 53 49 4 0
5397 Carl from Finance is our lunch today. 1.0755 0.03663 53 49 4 0
5398 Great job not being seen this week guys, I know it's hard but at least you have each other. 1.0755 0.03663 53 49 4 0
5399 i’ll tell y’all same i told that softboy from CNN what asked me at the state fair. why’d i vote for Trump after votin for Obama? Economic Anxiety. now where’s that little fella promised me Chik-fil-A and twenty minutes behind the BlackedRAW paywall? 1.0755 0.03663 53 49 4 0
5400 Fellow board members, if we don’t bring aboard at least one human, we’re going to hear it from the PC police. 1.0755 0.03663 53 49 4 0
5401 Good morning, and thank you all for coming in this morning. I'm happy to see that we have a good cross section of the general population being represented at the table. 1.0755 0.03663 53 49 4 0
5402 But he’s the closest thing to a Martian I could get. 1.0755 0.03663 53 49 4 0
5403 We're doing vegetarian for lunch today. 1.0755 0.04547 53 50 2 1
5404 I think Ted here is going to be a real asset to our team. He's a career politician, so he's had a lot of experience working in the swamp. 1.0755 0.04547 53 50 2 1
5405 George could add diversity to our board - or we could eat him. 1.0755 0.03663 53 49 4 0
5406 So we're agreed -- the new slogan is "Trick AND Treat! 1.0755 0.03663 53 49 4 0
5407 Join me in welcoming the newest member of the Under-Bed Scary Monsters -- the retirement financial advisor. 1.0755 0.03663 53 49 4 0
5408 Controversy struck at Intergalactic Show and Tell, when a banned substance was introduced to the table as ‘Andrew’. 1.0755 0.04547 53 50 2 1
5409 he is straight don't be afraid 1.0755 0.03663 53 49 4 0
5410 So, who wants to be Chief Diversity Officer? 1.0755 0.03663 53 49 4 0
5411 Let's all welcome Mr. Snodgrass, who will talk to us about trade tariffs and their effect on our third quarter profit statement. Then we'll have him for lunch. 1.0755 0.03663 53 49 4 0
5412 Lets take a break lunch has arrived. 1.0755 0.03663 53 49 4 0
5413 I'm curious to know first if you're at least aware of the 'Bare' necessity to pay the bill." 1.0755 0.04547 53 50 2 1
5414 Now to bring us down to earth 1.0755 0.03663 53 49 4 0
5415 Ok, let’s take a break, the snack just arrived ! 1.0755 0.03663 53 49 4 0
5416 Talk about your motley crew! 1.0702 0.03413 57 53 4 0
5417 I'd like you all to meet Bob, who is our new head of preservation 1.0625 0.03531 48 45 3 0
5418 Of course the board looks alien to him after a hostile takeover. 1.0625 0.03531 48 45 3 0
5419 Listen up, guys. The man is here to take our orders. 1.0625 0.03531 48 45 3 0
5420 Ignore the unconscious human in the corner. To get this space, I agreed to allow one in. 1.0625 0.04619 48 46 1 1
5421 I am disappointed that most of you didn't see the need to wear a costume for this year's Halloween office party. 1.0625 0.03531 48 45 3 0
5422 Bob,that 'Subway's late' excuse is starting to get old. 1.0625 0.03531 48 45 3 0
5423 Please welcome Bill Jones, our new demographic consultant. 1.0625 0.03531 48 45 3 0
5424 The Academy's Science Fiction Advisory Council being briefed by a Hollywood executive on the #metoo movement 1.0625 0.04619 48 46 1 1
5425 As you will come to know him, you'll notice our new board member's ideas are out of this world. 1.0625 0.03531 48 45 3 0
5426 Can someone get that odd-looking fellow a chair? 1.0625 0.03531 48 45 3 0
5427 I’d like you all to meet our new diversity officer. 1.0625 0.04619 48 46 1 1
5428 Say hi to Joe.... He's our diversity hire 1.0625 0.03531 48 45 3 0
5429 Josh is here to address the issue of appropriate attire in a workplace setting. 1.0625 0.03531 48 45 3 0
5430 We are going to build a wall and make The Galaxy Great Again! 1.0625 0.03531 48 45 3 0
5431 Say hi to John, he is the one that our shareholders chose to be the new face of the company. 1.0625 0.03531 48 45 3 0
5432 Now I want everyone to welcome Gary from marketing...I'm sure he'll fit right in. 1.0625 0.03531 48 45 3 0
5433 My handler here says we can work together despite our diversity. 1.0625 0.03531 48 45 3 0
5434 And for dessert we’ll eat the server 1.0625 0.03531 48 45 3 0
5435 Here is our new board member, John. You will all remember his father, Uflak. His son mutated into a sapiens of the genus Homo. 1.0625 0.03531 48 45 3 0
5436 Everyone, this is Ned, our new marketing rep. 1.0625 0.03531 48 45 3 0
5437 Should we boost there spirits and let them know we are not extinct? All in favor raise your hand. 1.0625 0.03531 48 45 3 0
5438 Does anyone second the motion to eat him, rather than accept his offer? 1.0625 0.03531 48 45 3 0
5439 As Chairman of the Board I am happy to report the complete success of our diversity initiative. 1.0625 0.04619 48 46 1 1
5440 I've brought you here to discuss our future international alliance! 1.0625 0.03531 48 45 3 0
5441 We’ve asked a proFLESHYional human to join us today so we can obSERVE his MEATing etiquette and learn to be on our beast behavior in the boardroom. 1.0625 0.03531 48 45 3 0
5442 We've got this, guys.. No need to call in the goon with the jacket and tie!! 1.0625 0.03531 48 45 3 0
5443 Smiggens here, thinks the term “alien” needs to be more inclusive. 1.0625 0.03531 48 45 3 0
5444 I ordered pizza, but we got him instead. 1.0625 0.03531 48 45 3 0
5445 Don’t mind how he looks....he’s good. 1.0625 0.03531 48 45 3 0
5446 As you know we have a diverse workforce... 1.0625 0.03531 48 45 3 0
5447 Lunch is for chimps. 1.0625 0.03531 48 45 3 0
5448 Welcome to the Universal Politicians Meeting. You must be Greg. 1.0625 0.03531 48 45 3 0
5449 Hi. My name is Finnard. I'm excited about Reptile Recovery Group. I have self esteem issues due to my prominent head fin and suffering dry scaly skin in childhood. 1.0625 0.03531 48 45 3 0
5450 Our Diversity Department has sent us Fred. Say hello and be nice to him. As a human, he is slow; but our government contracts depend on his minority presence. 1.0625 0.03531 48 45 3 0
5451 I'm sure you're wondering why I've gathered you here." Dave addressed his inner demons 1.0625 0.04619 48 46 1 1
5452 Lets all welcome Joe to our Casual Friday Board Meeting 1.0625 0.03531 48 45 3 0
5453 I want you to meet Ned here. HR thought we could benefit from a little more diversity. 1.0625 0.03531 48 45 3 0
5454 Nothing irregular. We're just waiting for your security clearance. 1.0625 0.03531 48 45 3 0
5455 I want to complement you all on your costumes. You're fired. 1.0625 0.03531 48 45 3 0
5456 Our attorney here says that despite our progress, we still need to do the mandated diversity training. So take it away, Steve! 1.0625 0.03531 48 45 3 0
5457 And here to discuss his proposal to take us public, I’m pleased to introduce Dr. Seuss! 1.0625 0.04619 48 46 1 1
5458 Let me take a moment to comment on the success of our diversity program, as we welcome our new board member. 1.0625 0.03531 48 45 3 0
5459 Folks, I invited Jim here to provide a warm-blooded perspective on the new diversity initiative.. 1.0625 0.03531 48 45 3 0
5460 All of those with hands or claws showing can vote on how well done we cook the chap standing to my left. 1.0625 0.03531 48 45 3 0
5461 Steve is our new marketing intern. I know he’s hideous, but try not to stare, he’s very self conscious about his looks. 1.0625 0.04619 48 46 1 1
5462 Some of you may have heard that we are taking this diversity thing quite seriously. 1.0625 0.03531 48 45 3 0
5463 If we want to innovate in the lab, we have to welcome change in the C-suite! Everyone welcome our new CFO, Jay Bunning! 1.0625 0.04619 48 46 1 1
5464 We're expecting our latest costume to sell like crazy among the four-legged demographic. 1.0625 0.03531 48 45 3 0
5465 As an equal opportunity employer, I asked Herb from Human Resources to review our hiring protocols.” 1.0625 0.03531 48 45 3 0
5466 Please join me in welcoming John to our Management Committee. This is only the first step in Hydra’s commitment to Title CM. 1.0625 0.03531 48 45 3 0
5467 I know, I know. But let's bring in a different perspective. 1.0625 0.03531 48 45 3 0
5468 And let's all give a hearty "Hi" to Sheldon who's come a long way to join us. 1.0625 0.03531 48 45 3 0
5469 Yes, he looks really weird, but having his positive spirit in the group wouldn't hurt us. 1.0625 0.03531 48 45 3 0
5470 I am sorry Greta is delaying. The negotiations with the Gamma Quadrant are taking longer than expected. 1.0625 0.03531 48 45 3 0
5471 Next, our corporate lawyer with some advice about crawling up from the slime. 1.0625 0.03531 48 45 3 0
5472 Johnson is taking lunch orders... 1.0625 0.03531 48 45 3 0
5473 This is John, he litigates hostile takeovers. 1.0625 0.03531 48 45 3 0
5474 I know its weird looking, but we've gotta be inclusive. 1.0625 0.03531 48 45 3 0
5475 So Wallace, tell us about this 'elephant in the room' of yours. 1.0625 0.03531 48 45 3 0
5476 And before we adjourn, here is Tom again from public relations with a few friendly reminders. 1.0625 0.03531 48 45 3 0
5477 Dress down day? Which one of you creeps didn't send me the memo. 1.0625 0.03531 48 45 3 0
5478 I've brought in a Cambrian era paleontologist to help us work through our business plan. 1.0625 0.03531 48 45 3 0
5479 Well, so what if the Cabinet doesn't reflect the overall population? 1.0625 0.03531 48 45 3 0
5480 Don’t be shy, we value diversity. 1.0625 0.03531 48 45 3 0
5481 This is our new Diversity Director 1.0625 0.03531 48 45 3 0
5482 This is Roger, our latest hire in the loan department. 1.0625 0.03531 48 45 3 0
5483 This is John, he will help us reach our "Diversity Hire" quota. 1.0625 0.03531 48 45 3 0
5484 This is Mr. Kale, he will be your first course this evening. 1.0625 0.03531 48 45 3 0
5485 Reports of our brains’ differences seem greatly exaggerated, I vote we keep him. 1.0625 0.03531 48 45 3 0
5486 We'll take a break, since lunch has arrived 1.0625 0.03531 48 45 3 0
5487 McKronkle, here, says he can help our company by draining the swamp. 1.0625 0.03531 48 45 3 0
5488 And this is Steven, our token human. 1.0625 0.03531 48 45 3 0
5489 Who's up for some lunch before we review sales figures? 1.0625 0.03531 48 45 3 0
5490 Please welcome Harry, who has been a real transformer for our company. 1.0625 0.03531 48 45 3 0
5491 Art here says the studio applauds your performances. However we're looking for more diversity. 1.0625 0.03531 48 45 3 0
5492 The final test to see if the ‘sensitivity training’ has seeped into our feeble brains has arrived.” 1.0625 0.03531 48 45 3 0
5493 The table is solid oak, so chew it slowly. 1.0625 0.03531 48 45 3 0
5494 You thought it was an asteroid, but it was a ruthless game of rock, paper, scissors that secured humans a top spot on the food chain. 1.0625 0.03531 48 45 3 0
5495 ZooChat insists this is not a habitat—but a turkey farm. 1.0625 0.04619 48 46 1 1
5496 How rude, didn't he know this is a Black Tie Gala. 1.0625 0.03531 48 45 3 0
5497 For Pete's sake, Glyxx. You know the snack is for after the meeting. 1.0625 0.03531 48 45 3 0
5498 Johnson is here to clear up a few misunderstandings we've had recently about how the Human Resources Department works. 1.0625 0.03531 48 45 3 0
5499 Meet Larry—he switched the labels on decaf and regular.” Samatha McAlevy, New York, New Yor 1.0625 0.03531 48 45 3 0
5500 To demonstrate our commitment to diversity, I’d like you all to offer a warm welcome to the newest member of our Board, Irwin. 1.0625 0.03531 48 45 3 0
5501 Chuck deserves our Heavy Metal Baby Food Company promotion. Changing our name to 'Adorbs', we've gone from zero to a billion likes on Facebook." 1.0625 0.03531 48 45 3 0
5502 Mike here from marketing is going to take us through our over-65 campaign. 1.0625 0.03531 48 45 3 0
5503 Welcome! We have each put a personal touch to your furniture, and we are excited to hear your thoughts. 1.0625 0.03531 48 45 3 0
5504 Everyone, please make our special guest, Joe feel at home. 1.0625 0.03531 48 45 3 0
5505 Looks like your wondering WHY he's here, well he would like share proper etiquette. 1.0625 0.03531 48 45 3 0
5506 Who brought the freak? 1.0625 0.03531 48 45 3 0
5507 Hold it, guys! It was just a darn typo. This is the Save, not Savor, the Species Dinner. 1.0625 0.03531 48 45 3 0
5508 The rest of our group looks so interesting. 1.0625 0.03531 48 45 3 0
5509 Welcome to the summit of foreign affairs. 1.0612 0.03460 49 46 3 0
5510 As Chairman of Kid's Science Kits, Inc., I'd like to thank you all for participating in our new CRSPR gene editing fun kit roll-out! 1.0588 0.03328 51 48 3 0
5511 Halloween party planning? Nah, we’re venting our ire at the gutting of EPA protections. 1.0455 0.03177 44 42 2 0
5512 Cthulhu decided to cosplay as Victim No. 1. 1.0455 0.03177 44 42 2 0
5513 I know he looks a little strange but please welcome our new head of personnel. 1.0455 0.03177 44 42 2 0
5514 Isn't that the best human suit you've ever seen at a monster-reveal party? 1.0455 0.03177 44 42 2 0
5515 Marketing wants to know if they got the packaging right. 1.0455 0.03177 44 42 2 0
5516 Hey, is this meeting about the 'Monster Mash'? 1.0455 0.03177 44 42 2 0
5517 Chuck has an idea how we can break into the meatless meat market. 1.0455 0.03177 44 42 2 0
5518 Let's welcome Tim, the newest member of the Diversity Committee. 1.0455 0.03177 44 42 2 0
5519 Everyone say, "Hello" to Larry Winsmore. Larry's the consultant who'll be handling our "infestation" problem. 1.0455 0.03177 44 42 2 0
5520 Team, this is Todd. At his last company, he was described as an "HR nightmare", so he's sure to fit in quickly. 1.0455 0.03177 44 42 2 0
5521 'Everyone, this is Doug. He'll be joining us as lunch today.' 1.0455 0.03177 44 42 2 0
5522 Gerald's imagination created us 35 years ago. And now we finally get to eat him! 1.0455 0.03177 44 42 2 0
5523 Who the Hell this alien is? 1.0455 0.03177 44 42 2 0
5524 Even though Stingray did kill that cocksucker Steve Irwin, you don't fuck my family. Any of you motherfuckers try and fuck my wife, or my sister, or my mom, or my girlfriend again, and I'll shove Aquaman's trident straight up your pooper. 1.0455 0.03177 44 42 2 0
5525 I'm here to make sure this meeting is not a zoo! 1.0455 0.03177 44 42 2 0
5526 Here’s the latest species to evolve. It appears harmless; so let’s welcome it! 1.0455 0.03177 44 42 2 0
5527 New manager or dinner? You make the call. 1.0455 0.03177 44 42 2 0
5528 Yes, we can use Webex next time. 1.0455 0.03177 44 42 2 0
5529 I say the only thing this meeting in this meeting is an ice cold pitcher of white wine sangria. 1.0455 0.03177 44 42 2 0
5530 At least we won’t have to worry about any sexual harassment suits with this one. 1.0455 0.03177 44 42 2 0
5531 Please let me show you proof that human's were right, they can't evolve. 1.0455 0.03177 44 42 2 0
5532 Please welcome the last nerdy white guy from the Milky Way! 1.0455 0.03177 44 42 2 0
5533 Rick will now introduce our new dress code policy. 1.0455 0.03177 44 42 2 0
5534 The aye's have it. We'll reconvene after a quick break for lunch. 1.0455 0.03177 44 42 2 0
5535 Thanks to all of you for attending this initial meeting of Diversity, Inc. 1.0455 0.03177 44 42 2 0
5536 I'm pleased to introduce our new Foreign Ambassador to planet Earth. 1.0455 0.03177 44 42 2 0
5537 So how do you think this candidate will fit in on our team? 1.0455 0.03177 44 42 2 0
5538 You forgot to tell us it was a costume party. 1.0455 0.03177 44 42 2 0
5539 Diversity remains our top priority. 1.0455 0.03177 44 42 2 0
5540 Ok. So that’s one X-Large with pepperoni and two Medium, cheese only. Anything to slurp? 1.0455 0.03177 44 42 2 0
5541 I propose that we stop using the offensive term ‘aliens’ and start referring to ourselves as ‘beamers’. 1.0455 0.03177 44 42 2 0
5542 I'd like to extend a warm welcome to our newest associate, Steve. 1.0455 0.03177 44 42 2 0
5543 And here you have our recommendation for the entree, all dressed and ready for consumption. 1.0455 0.03177 44 42 2 0
5544 Greg advises that we need liability insurance for the Monster Mash. 1.0455 0.03177 44 42 2 0
5545 I forgot it was casual Friday! 1.0455 0.03177 44 42 2 0
5546 Meet the firm's new partner...a little seasoning and he'll fit right in. 1.0455 0.03177 44 42 2 0
5547 May I sit down? 1.0455 0.03177 44 42 2 0
5548 This is an example of our latest discovered mammal. Notice his unusual hide! 1.0455 0.03177 44 42 2 0
5549 I would like to convene this meeting of the Inter-galactic Species Society. A tasty snack, to my left, will be forthcoming. 1.0455 0.03177 44 42 2 0
5550 I keep telling them, our board of directors will take care of our sustainability agenda, they’re no monsters. 1.0455 0.03177 44 42 2 0
5551 Hey everyone, this is Norm. Do your best to make him feel part of the team. That does not include predation. 1.0455 0.03177 44 42 2 0
5552 Arthur here, on my left, has questions. 1.0455 0.03177 44 42 2 0
5553 Thank you everyone for your continued support of Libra. I know that there have been mixed reviews of the hearings, but rest assured that if Alexandra Ocasio-Cortez visits on Halloween she will most certainly not be getting a treat! 1.0455 0.03177 44 42 2 0
5554 Allright, everyone. I've had a little lunch sent in, so if you want to take a few minutes with that, then we'll continue our agenda. 1.0455 0.03177 44 42 2 0
5555 Please tell my new assistant your meal restrictions, so we can decide if we'll order lunch or send him hunting. 1.0455 0.03177 44 42 2 0
5556 This is not STAR WARS! Get real! 1.0455 0.03177 44 42 2 0
5557 Please welcome our new C.E.O.. 1.0455 0.03177 44 42 2 0
5558 He says that everyone wears them on his planet. 1.0455 0.03177 44 42 2 0
5559 Please welcome our new token human! 1.0455 0.03177 44 42 2 0
5560 And for providing us with our latest tax exemptions, I'd like to thank the weasels. 1.0455 0.03177 44 42 2 0
5561 'Let's give a hand to our new Director of Animal Resources' 1.0455 0.03177 44 42 2 0
5562 You just had to call this Aliens Anonymous... geeze! Now we have to eat another human! 1.0455 0.03177 44 42 2 0
5563 Lunch will be served at 12.30, are there any special dietary requests?" 1.0455 0.03177 44 42 2 0
5564 I've invited Jerry to offer us a different perspective and then he will stay for lunch. 1.0455 0.03177 44 42 2 0
5565 Don't look now...but we may have a special treat tonight! 1.0455 0.03177 44 42 2 0
5566 Ours is an inclusive club so typo or not, welcome to our newest member - George Martin 1.0455 0.03177 44 42 2 0
5567 And now, a few words from our Diversity Officer 1.0455 0.03177 44 42 2 0
5568 We will continue this discussion of the takeover of Earth after lunch, which I see has now arrived. 1.0455 0.03177 44 42 2 0
5569 This is Fred, our new diversity hire. 1.0455 0.03177 44 42 2 0
5570 I would now like to introduce our new accountant, he belongs to an up and coming species with great promise. 1.0455 0.03177 44 42 2 0
5571 Today Jim from accounting will share the details of our most recent earnings report with the board. 1.0455 0.04545 44 43 0 1
5572 Gentlemen. May I introduce Mr. Steadworthy. He's been sent to us from Human Resources (snicker, snicker) 1.0455 0.03177 44 42 2 0
5573 As part of our new inclusive program let me introduce an earthling. 1.0455 0.03177 44 42 2 0
5574 The good news is we're only laying off Earth people. 1.0455 0.03177 44 42 2 0
5575 Everyone, lets all welcome Pete to the Federal Department of Genetic Splicing. 1.0455 0.03177 44 42 2 0
5576 Is there an elephant in the room.” Janet Hillel, New York, N 1.0455 0.03177 44 42 2 0
5577 Okay, lets talk about what we practiced last week. 1.0455 0.03177 44 42 2 0
5578 Guys, this is Bob. Bob is going to bring us up to speed on gender relations in the workplace. 1.0455 0.03177 44 42 2 0
5579 Please join me in giving a warm welcome to Felix, he’ll be leading our diversity training today. 1.0455 0.03177 44 42 2 0
5580 Smithers from HR will discuss sensitivity training for you oddballs 1.0455 0.03177 44 42 2 0
5581 He looks a little strange. Don't you think? 1.0455 0.03177 44 42 2 0
5582 Another meeting that could have been an intergalactic radio wave. 1.0455 0.03177 44 42 2 0
5583 Let's hear Mr. Ryan's ideas for improving our brand, then we'll—have him for lunch. 1.0455 0.03177 44 42 2 0
5584 Everyone, meet our new diversity employee and give it a warm ooga-booga. 1.0455 0.03177 44 42 2 0
5585 So, do we let the human join? 1.0455 0.03177 44 42 2 0
5586 Why are we still dressed as the Trump administration if Halloween is over? 1.0455 0.03177 44 42 2 0
5587 Mr. Smith here apparently didn't get the memo that Casual Friday is still a thing! 1.0455 0.03177 44 42 2 0
5588 UGH the weird guy from accounting wants to say something”. 1.0455 0.03177 44 42 2 0
5589 We're here to consider Wallace as a diversity presence on our board. 1.0455 0.03177 44 42 2 0
5590 Congratulations to everyone on meeting our organization's diversity goals. 1.0455 0.03177 44 42 2 0
5591 It's lunch time! Tell the waiter to bring in some more humans,preferably lightly seasoned! 1.0455 0.04545 44 43 0 1
5592 He's going to help us think outside the box. 1.0455 0.03177 44 42 2 0
5593 That’s two votes for a finance briefing and five for lunch. 1.0455 0.03177 44 42 2 0
5594 Our first diversity candidate is Mr. William Fox of Stamford, Connecticut. 1.0455 0.03177 44 42 2 0
5595 Soooo...we all agree on sushi takeout? 1.0455 0.03177 44 42 2 0
5596 Marco here will be starting his position on the Board, in the seat set aside for nebbishes. 1.0444 0.03107 45 43 2 0
5597 One of us seems uninvited. Guess who? 1.0444 0.03107 45 43 2 0
5598 Guys, meet Larry from accounting. 1.0444 0.03107 45 43 2 0
5599 Now, now, let's not forget that we concluded that diversity needs to be more than a mere concept. . . . 1.0444 0.03107 45 43 2 0
5600 I wanted to congratulate our Monster of the Month: the guy who invented asking people about their weekend plans. 1.0435 0.03040 46 44 2 0
5601 Here comes the guy from CAA again. I don't care how "Special" you are, if there isn't a back-end, don't sign. 1.0435 0.03040 46 44 2 0
5602 Edgar, here, is our new rep from the Spacearium. 1.0435 0.03040 46 44 2 0
5603 It's unanimous. The universe has spoken. 1.0435 0.03040 46 44 2 0
5604 See, nothing to be afraid of! 1.0435 0.03040 46 44 2 0
5605 And lastly, Ted from Human Resources is here to talk to us all about harassment in the workplace. 1.0435 0.03040 46 44 2 0
5606 Let's call this board meeting to order. I would like to introduce Bob Smithers, our new VP of Human Resources and I would appreciate it if you all refrain from eating him. 1.0426 0.02976 47 45 2 0
5607 CEO decided to install AI board members to help make more informed decisions." "But..." "Yeah, I know, please don't tell him A doesn't stand for Animal." 1.0426 0.02976 47 45 2 0
5608 I would like to introduce Bob, our new Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion Officer. 1.0426 0.02976 47 45 2 0
5609 Clean up your act! This pace looks like a zoo. 1.0426 0.02976 47 45 2 0
5610 Everyone, meet our new team member Joe. He is the latest example of our company's policy of leveraging diversity to help achieve a more well-rounded predation business model. 1.0426 0.02976 47 45 2 0
5611 This is Jeff, he's temporary head of P.R. in till Casper gets back. 1.0426 0.02976 47 45 2 0
5612 Why yes, Harold, it is a lunch meeting. 1.0426 0.02976 47 45 2 0
5613 So basically is this simple,you have to build a wall and you have to pay for it! 1.0417 0.02915 48 46 2 0
5614 As you know, this firm has an unwavering commitment to diversity. 1.0417 0.02915 48 46 2 0
5615 This group is lacking focus 1.0408 0.02856 49 47 2 0
5616 All in favor of the montion to abandon our No Eating Humans Policy, say "I." 1.0400 0.02799 50 48 2 0
5617 Today we're taking diversity to a new level. 1.0244 0.02469 41 40 1 0
5618 one of you has to be let go to make room for the human. something about "equal opportunity" and labor laws 1.0244 0.02469 41 40 1 0
5619 what is that strange thing standing in the corner? 1.0244 0.02469 41 40 1 0
5620 This is Todd from HR. He has a few items for today’s staff meeting. 1.0244 0.02469 41 40 1 0
5621 I suggest we don't eat our prototype until he's in production. 1.0244 0.02469 41 40 1 0
5622 May THE FORCE be with you! 1.0244 0.02469 41 40 1 0
5623 Oh good, lunch arrived. 1.0244 0.02469 41 40 1 0
5624 Everyone, I am pleased to announce that the Board of the San Francisco zoo has now embraced "participatory democracy." 1.0244 0.02469 41 40 1 0
5625 I'd like you all to welcome Timothy. Tim is going to discuss the new Office Dress Code. 1.0244 0.02469 41 40 1 0
5626 Gentlemen, it's not a diversity issue, just please stop eating the clients. 1.0244 0.02469 41 40 1 0
5627 Don't you just love our "Casual Friday" cabinet meetings? 1.0244 0.02469 41 40 1 0
5628 Yes, some of our diversity directives freak me out. 1.0244 0.02469 41 40 1 0
5629 The Board identified the need for a Diversity consultant, and I'm excited to introduce Bryan. 1.0244 0.02469 41 40 1 0
5630 This quarter we made more money than we could ever possibly want given the smaller brains we have. 1.0244 0.02469 41 40 1 0
5631 Guys, this is Paul. Paul this is our Halloween product testing staff. 1.0244 0.02469 41 40 1 0
5632 Say hi to Herb. He is taking the delectable board seat. 1.0244 0.02469 41 40 1 0
5633 This is Mr. Ginsburg from HR. He wants to present our new diversity program to the Board. 1.0244 0.02469 41 40 1 0
5634 We hired Larry here to help with our DEI issues. 1.0244 0.02469 41 40 1 0
5635 Should we order an appetizer, or just eat the waiter? 1.0244 0.02469 41 40 1 0
5636 A core principle of our committee is "Assume positive intentions". 1.0244 0.02469 41 40 1 0
5637 I call the meeting for The Swamp Board of Trustees to order. Is there an Agenda? 1.0244 0.02469 41 40 1 0
5638 Thag, did you PostMate enough for everybody? 1.0244 0.02469 41 40 1 0
5639 Given that all of us are monsters, can we come up with a program that will attract normal people? 1.0244 0.02469 41 40 1 0
5640 Say 'hi' to Larry, our new Chief of Staff. 1.0244 0.02469 41 40 1 0
5641 Please welcome the new member of our team, who comes uniquely qualified to head our new affirmative action program. 1.0244 0.02469 41 40 1 0
5642 My plan is we add 19 more creepos, and we name each other with a different letter of the alphabet.” 1.0244 0.02469 41 40 1 0
5643 Bob, did you invite this cheesehead? I told you that there aren’t any unaccompanied humans allowed! 1.0244 0.02469 41 40 1 0
5644 Welcome to the Nightmare Club’s annual symposium on scare tactics, Mr. Divorce Attorney. 1.0244 0.02469 41 40 1 0
5645 We’ve hired Dave here. Our diversity department felt we were a little light on omnivores. 1.0244 0.02469 41 40 1 0
5646 Now everyone remember your non-diversity training and say hi to our new colleague Bob! 1.0244 0.02469 41 40 1 0
5647 Let's be patient as Joe adjusts to our corporate climate. 1.0244 0.02469 41 40 1 0
5648 Our primary objective should be inclusivity. 1.0238 0.02410 42 41 1 0
5649 I'm not giving my seat to that weirdo. 1.0238 0.02410 42 41 1 0
5650 Please allow me to introduce our new consultant, Brad, sent down by corporate. Now I know what you’re all thinking but he’s not as scary as he may seem. 1.0233 0.02353 43 42 1 0
5651 Charles here will answer questions on the new Human Resources policy. 1.0233 0.02353 43 42 1 0
5652 It is time for you to sacrifice, the needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few. 1.0222 0.02247 45 44 1 0
5653 Hey,which of you yahoos neglected to notify Herb that Friday meetings would not only be casual,but also zany? 1.0222 0.02247 45 44 1 0
5654 This is John from H.R. He's here because of complaints that managers are behaving like monsters. 1.0222 0.02247 45 44 1 0
5655 Pay no attention to the lone voice in this wilderness. 1.0222 0.02247 45 44 1 0
5656 Here comes Freak, hiding his pink underbelly under fake skin & necktie! 1.0217 0.02198 46 45 1 0
5657 And now I’d like to introduce our new intern Larry Kowalski. Larry is the winner of this year’s NIH Mental Health Essay Contest. 1.0217 0.02198 46 45 1 0
5658 Due to our disappointing earnings report, they'll be no Seuss for you this quarter. 1.0217 0.02198 46 45 1 0
5659 Here comes that weird lookin' guy from personnel 1.0213 0.02151 47 46 1 0
5660 This is the kind of Board of Directors I want for running our company. 1.0213 0.02151 47 46 1 0
5661 This is Victor, he is here to present the Sexual Harassment and Workplace Diversity Training. 1.0000 0.02667 38 38 0 0
5662 he is tame, he just looks frightening 1.0000 0.02740 37 37 0 0
5663 Brian has never been on an intergalactic panel before but he’s white and middle aged, so he should be perfect. 1.0000 0.02667 38 38 0 0