These captions are chosen by The New Yorker.
Name | Value |
---|---|
Submission deadline | 2019-11-04T01:27:00.000Z |
Voting started | - |
Voting ended | 2019-11-18T01:30:00.000Z |
Finalists announced | 2019-11-12T01:29:00.000Z |
Magazine(s) announcing finalists issued | November 18, 2019 |
Number of captions | 5664 |
Number of responses | 1094055 |
Number of participants | - |
In this table, the "mean" means the empirically measured average funniness score when the "unfunny", "somewhat funny" and "funny" receive a funniness score of 1, 2, 3 respectively. "Precison" is the standard error of the mean, the standard deviation of the mean estimate. With that, a caption with an empirical mean μ and precision σ has true mean in the range [μ - 2σ, μ + 2σ] with 95% probability by the 68-95-99.7 rule assuming the responses are indepedent and identically distributed.
Rank | Caption | Mean | Precision | Total votes | "Unfunny" votes | "Somewhat funny" votes | "Funny" votes |
---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
0 | Publicly, we're still saying there are no side effects. | 2.3414 | 0.00632 | 14383 | 2526 | 4427 | 7428 |
1 | You all remember Phil — we used to hang out under his bed. | 2.1126 | 0.00654 | 14471 | 3766 | 5311 | 5393 |
2 | This is a good point to stop the meeting; I see that lunch has arrived. | 2.0376 | 0.00701 | 13251 | 4074 | 4601 | 4573 |
3 | Suddenly, Jeff realized he should have posted his resume on other sites besides monster.com | 2.0303 | 0.00729 | 12314 | 3861 | 4225 | 4227 |
4 | Dr. Smith here will explain what went wrong with the clinical trial. | 2.0102 | 0.00692 | 12387 | 3626 | 5016 | 3745 |
5 | Do we need to discuss diversity, or are we good? | 1.9636 | 0.00694 | 12785 | 4173 | 4903 | 3708 |
6 | Welcome Bob to the team. He'll be with us until about lunchtime. | 1.9484 | 0.03033 | 697 | 242 | 249 | 206 |
7 | Good, Human Resources is here. | 1.9468 | 0.00729 | 12150 | 4275 | 4251 | 3623 |
8 | Apparently we’re the only people willing to work in the White House during Trump’s second term. | 1.9335 | 0.00759 | 12225 | 4753 | 3538 | 3934 |
9 | He’s an attorney. Of course he’s cold-blooded. | 1.9308 | 0.00768 | 11106 | 4048 | 3782 | 3276 |
10 | He brings a fresh perspective, and frankly, we need his opposable thumbs. | 1.9260 | 0.00862 | 8383 | 2941 | 3121 | 2321 |
11 | Love your Halloween costume, Ed. Creepy. Take a seat. | 1.8865 | 0.01046 | 5744 | 2169 | 2058 | 1517 |
12 | Let’s open with the pronouns each of us feel comfortable with | 1.8863 | 0.01231 | 4452 | 1782 | 1394 | 1276 |
13 | Everyone I would like you to meet Andy, our diversity hire. | 1.8779 | 0.00768 | 10311 | 3847 | 3878 | 2585 |
14 | Mr. Morris is here to discuss why there's a problem with the facial identification software." | 1.8630 | 0.01491 | 2642 | 981 | 1042 | 619 |
15 | I know you're skeptical, but he claims he can cure our reptile dysfunction. | 1.8573 | 0.01182 | 4865 | 2049 | 1461 | 1355 |
16 | Didn't we order Chinese? | 1.8435 | 0.00869 | 9044 | 3917 | 2630 | 2497 |
17 | Don't you guys remember Timmy? We all used to hide under his bed. | 1.8347 | 0.00911 | 7181 | 2842 | 2688 | 1650 |
18 | The ambassador from earth says they will not try to colonize Mars if we provide dirt on Joe Biden. | 1.8335 | 0.00880 | 8608 | 3711 | 2622 | 2275 |
19 | Now let's not make the same mistake we did last week. This is our waiter. He's not our lunch, he gets our lunch | 1.8263 | 0.01233 | 3938 | 1579 | 1464 | 895 |
20 | Obviously, half of you received a placebo. | 1.8254 | 0.00990 | 6694 | 2882 | 2099 | 1713 |
21 | So the board still has no women? | 1.8187 | 0.00910 | 7698 | 3285 | 2525 | 1887 |
22 | Take it easy now. We all looked like that on our first day. | 1.8177 | 0.00952 | 6539 | 2658 | 2421 | 1460 |
23 | You know what they say, if you aren’t at the table, you’re on the menu. | 1.8158 | 0.01430 | 3035 | 1273 | 1048 | 714 |
24 | He was a rescue. | 1.8039 | 0.00961 | 6625 | 2807 | 2312 | 1506 |
25 | Mr. Reilly will serve as the face of our Company. | 1.8015 | 0.00829 | 8412 | 3440 | 3204 | 1767 |
26 | Now today team, Zogg has brought along his emotional support human. | 1.7925 | 0.00984 | 6322 | 2725 | 2184 | 1413 |
27 | All those in favor, raise something. | 1.7866 | 0.01033 | 5788 | 2538 | 1947 | 1303 |
28 | Looks like someone forgot that it was casual Friday. | 1.7861 | 0.00918 | 6899 | 2910 | 2558 | 1431 |
29 | He may not look scary, but his kind is responsible for the destruction of a whole planet. | 1.7835 | 0.01389 | 3284 | 1473 | 1049 | 762 |
30 | I'd like to introduce one of our human resources | 1.7785 | 0.00811 | 8573 | 3583 | 3308 | 1682 |
31 | So it's agreed, the bathrooms will be species neutral. | 1.7623 | 0.01000 | 5666 | 2440 | 2134 | 1092 |
32 | So that’s six votes in favor of promoting Tim to partner and one vote in favor of eating him. | 1.7442 | 0.01204 | 3979 | 1786 | 1425 | 768 |
33 | They all do look alike, don't they. | 1.7419 | 0.01273 | 3514 | 1579 | 1266 | 669 |
34 | The Phase 2 antidote has failed | 1.7389 | 0.01148 | 5052 | 2519 | 1334 | 1198 |
35 | He may not look like a monster at first glance, but this is the pharmaceutical rep I’ve been telling you about. | 1.7343 | 0.01085 | 5020 | 2339 | 1681 | 1000 |
36 | Before we get started I believe we should address the Human in the room. | 1.7329 | 0.01236 | 3759 | 1715 | 1333 | 711 |
37 | Having exhausted the lobbyist pool, the Trump administration had to recruit from farther outside the swamp | 1.7173 | 0.01265 | 4058 | 2053 | 1099 | 906 |
38 | I say let's be patient. After the next election, we could once again be somebody's worst nightmare. | 1.7143 | 0.01726 | 2065 | 1014 | 627 | 424 |
39 | Tom's a shapeshifter and a blood drinker. Or as the humans call him, a consultant. | 1.7115 | 0.01607 | 2295 | 1106 | 745 | 444 |
40 | Hope you're well-prepared, Chris. Because if you're not, this board will eat you alive. | 1.7041 | 0.01529 | 2508 | 1216 | 818 | 474 |
41 | Ok Jared, Ivanka, Mitch, Mike, Rudy, Time to put the suits back on | 1.6930 | 0.01759 | 2101 | 1104 | 538 | 459 |
42 | Well, I see lunch has arrived. | 1.6923 | 0.01910 | 1550 | 750 | 527 | 273 |
43 | Our ethos is ‘diversity without judgment’. | 1.6901 | 0.01084 | 5082 | 2551 | 1553 | 976 |
44 | Welcome to the swamp ! | 1.6890 | 0.02203 | 1209 | 601 | 383 | 225 |
45 | The core of our public relations problem is that the people see us as a bunch of corporate monsters. | 1.6885 | 0.01375 | 3053 | 1507 | 991 | 555 |
46 | Did you hear that? He wants to know what we want for lunch. | 1.6822 | 0.01198 | 3927 | 1946 | 1288 | 692 |
47 | Today's guest speaker is a white, middle-aged, male to talk to us about diversity in the workplace." | 1.6809 | 0.01560 | 2451 | 1251 | 733 | 467 |
48 | All in favor of having Stan for lunch? | 1.6786 | 0.01065 | 5021 | 2501 | 1635 | 885 |
49 | I would like to start by asking if anyone has dietary constraints. | 1.6694 | 0.01833 | 1558 | 750 | 573 | 235 |
50 | How 'bout we start by introducing ourselves and sharing our preferred pronouns? | 1.6693 | 0.01208 | 3970 | 2026 | 1232 | 711 |
51 | Sooooo, whose imaginary friend is this little guy? | 1.6691 | 0.01754 | 1777 | 877 | 611 | 289 |
52 | Hey everybody, this is my cousin Gary. He came out this year as human. | 1.6679 | 0.01702 | 1912 | 952 | 643 | 317 |
53 | I know its pandering, but this is how we win Iowa and New Hampshire. | 1.6649 | 0.02224 | 1140 | 576 | 370 | 194 |
54 | This is Jerry. He's not as scary as he looks. | 1.6563 | 0.01095 | 4457 | 2224 | 1543 | 690 |
55 | He's not a monster, he's our lawyer. | 1.6560 | 0.01448 | 2686 | 1377 | 856 | 453 |
56 | It's agreed. No one has to live under Trump's bed. It's just too scary. | 1.6405 | 0.02226 | 1238 | 682 | 319 | 237 |
57 | this is Bob, ostensibly the top of the food chain. | 1.6351 | 0.02453 | 866 | 441 | 300 | 125 |
58 | Say hello to the Homo sapien, he's joining us as the newest member of the Endangered Species Club." | 1.6297 | 0.01965 | 1407 | 739 | 450 | 218 |
59 | That's an ugly word. I'd rather we refer to Larry as 'undocumented.' | 1.6297 | 0.02087 | 1226 | 647 | 393 | 186 |
60 | Trust me, he's one of us. He convinced millions of parents not to vaccinate their kids! | 1.6295 | 0.01958 | 1487 | 801 | 436 | 250 |
61 | Meet Compassionate White Male. Another mythical creature. | 1.6224 | 0.02250 | 1115 | 612 | 315 | 188 |
62 | This is what we all looked like before climate change. | 1.6201 | 0.01466 | 2677 | 1471 | 752 | 454 |
63 | We love you as an agent Jimmy, but we haven't had work since the bar scene in Star Wars! | 1.6144 | 0.01891 | 1551 | 844 | 461 | 246 |
64 | ...and HR informs me he prefers "human" to '"fleshbag". | 1.6112 | 0.01634 | 2032 | 1102 | 619 | 311 |
65 | According to Ancestry.com. this is our dad | 1.6100 | 0.01977 | 1436 | 792 | 412 | 232 |
66 | Alright, girls. Who ordered the stripper? | 1.6037 | 0.01834 | 1721 | 976 | 452 | 293 |
67 | Okay team, I know WE'RE usually the monsters, but today we have a special guest - an executive from the ExxonMobil corporation! | 1.5977 | 0.01859 | 1633 | 921 | 448 | 264 |
68 | Ted's not a monster, but he is a lawyer, so there's that. | 1.5920 | 0.01518 | 2245 | 1228 | 707 | 310 |
69 | And now please welcome the scariest monster of them all, a Republican US Senator! | 1.5893 | 0.02214 | 1220 | 722 | 279 | 219 |
70 | Good work all. Ah, lunch has arrived! | 1.5876 | 0.01429 | 2585 | 1435 | 781 | 369 |
71 | Great costume, Elliott! | 1.5848 | 0.01492 | 2283 | 1250 | 729 | 303 |
72 | Like Andrew from H.R. said, "Our human co-workers are not snacks. I'm looking at you, Dots." | 1.5810 | 0.01869 | 1451 | 799 | 461 | 191 |
73 | And, for our next visit to earth we've made an improved meat puppet to replace our last probe that somehow got elected President of the most powerful nation. | 1.5701 | 0.02256 | 1112 | 656 | 278 | 178 |
74 | I see no reason to move our company out of Chernobyl. | 1.5694 | 0.02398 | 894 | 505 | 269 | 120 |
75 | This is Larry. His species has figured a way to destroy a planet AND turn a profit! | 1.5671 | 0.02089 | 1252 | 730 | 334 | 188 |
76 | Wow, these DNA ancestry sites sure do make for interesting family reunions! | 1.5637 | 0.02759 | 651 | 365 | 205 | 81 |
77 | Well it looks like one of us didn’t ’drink the Kool-Aid’ | 1.5535 | 0.03051 | 551 | 319 | 159 | 73 |
78 | Our lunch has arrived. | 1.5518 | 0.01858 | 1515 | 901 | 400 | 213 |
79 | It's even uglier when it sheds. | 1.5505 | 0.02889 | 634 | 374 | 171 | 89 |
80 | Can we talk about the elephant in the room? | 1.5487 | 0.01917 | 1416 | 832 | 391 | 193 |
81 | He looks harmless. I say we let them in. What could go wrong? | 1.5486 | 0.02163 | 1121 | 661 | 305 | 155 |
82 | We brought in Henry for an outsider’s perspective. He is also lunch. | 1.5453 | 0.01890 | 1469 | 871 | 395 | 203 |
83 | Oh my god... Lucas? From on top of the bed? | 1.5432 | 0.02073 | 1250 | 754 | 314 | 182 |
84 | He wants to talk to us about reflooding the swamp. | 1.5414 | 0.02529 | 737 | 420 | 235 | 82 |
85 | We all remember our first day on Capitol Hill. | 1.5403 | 0.02655 | 720 | 424 | 203 | 93 |
86 | In light of recent events, Bob will now be the face of the company. | 1.5369 | 0.02815 | 609 | 353 | 185 | 71 |
87 | An alien walks into a meeting. | 1.5357 | 0.02027 | 1191 | 695 | 352 | 143 |
88 | If we're all here, who is under Tommy's bed? | 1.5354 | 0.02412 | 876 | 521 | 241 | 114 |
89 | I don't need to tell you that we halted the clinical trial early. | 1.5336 | 0.02329 | 907 | 533 | 264 | 110 |
90 | There used to be more of these before the climate changed. | 1.5325 | 0.02169 | 1046 | 616 | 303 | 127 |
91 | So I’ve hired Bill as our new PR person to put a more “human face” on the company. | 1.5323 | 0.02086 | 1144 | 677 | 325 | 142 |
92 | We found him under our kid's bed. Explains the nightmares. | 1.5321 | 0.02447 | 857 | 514 | 230 | 113 |
93 | Doesn't Dave look delicious in his new suit? | 1.5312 | 0.02915 | 576 | 339 | 168 | 69 |
94 | Don’t worry, nobody’s draining anything. The swamp is a very important part of our base. | 1.5296 | 0.02355 | 946 | 575 | 241 | 130 |
95 | We’ll adjourn. Lunch has arrived. | 1.5288 | 0.02076 | 1127 | 664 | 330 | 133 |
96 | We all looked like you when we started here. | 1.5271 | 0.02192 | 1013 | 599 | 294 | 120 |
97 | We were just discussing the evolution of the company. | 1.5267 | 0.02158 | 1029 | 605 | 306 | 118 |
98 | Dave, we know it's your first day, but we do have a dress code. | 1.5266 | 0.02821 | 545 | 308 | 187 | 50 |
99 | Striped tie? You're always pushing the envelope, Dan. | 1.5260 | 0.02552 | 749 | 444 | 216 | 89 |
100 | He’s not easy on the eyes, but Ted’s a monster salesman. | 1.5247 | 0.02083 | 1071 | 624 | 332 | 115 |
101 | Ok, everyone meet Bob. Apparently we all used to live under his bed.” | 1.5224 | 0.02214 | 1005 | 602 | 281 | 122 |
102 | Of course we have a board room. We're monsters, not animals. | 1.5198 | 0.02857 | 581 | 344 | 172 | 65 |
103 | So, any other side effects to our new erectile dysfunction drug? | 1.5190 | 0.02418 | 919 | 574 | 213 | 132 |
104 | We've hired Mr. Bettelheim, here, as a consultant to address our 'brand' problem here at Seuss, Sendak and Rowling. | 1.5185 | 0.02277 | 974 | 598 | 249 | 127 |
105 | And some, we assume, are good people. | 1.5184 | 0.02431 | 814 | 486 | 234 | 94 |
106 | Larry's new, but he'll evolve. | 1.5175 | 0.02877 | 543 | 316 | 173 | 54 |
107 | I’d like you all to say hello to Bob, our new Director of Diversity. | 1.5168 | 0.02200 | 1014 | 612 | 280 | 122 |
108 | We can't be any scarier than the last administration. | 1.5150 | 0.02510 | 769 | 463 | 216 | 90 |
109 | This is Bob from Earth, he's our insider on the hostile takeover. | 1.5142 | 0.02272 | 916 | 547 | 267 | 102 |
110 | Let me introduce our new Diversity Officer. | 1.5131 | 0.02187 | 953 | 570 | 284 | 99 |
111 | That makes 4 votes to let Bob lead today’s diversity training session and 3 votes to eat him. | 1.5123 | 0.02275 | 937 | 567 | 260 | 110 |
112 | Shall we talk about the elephant in the room? | 1.5113 | 0.02487 | 798 | 487 | 214 | 97 |
113 | Everyone good with splitting the waiter? | 1.5107 | 0.02418 | 840 | 512 | 227 | 101 |
114 | I've called you all in to this focus group to discuss the Human Race. Are they worth saving? Bob, your thoughts? | 1.5106 | 0.02932 | 564 | 342 | 156 | 66 |
115 | Very scary John. You almost look human. | 1.5101 | 0.02281 | 894 | 534 | 264 | 96 |
116 | It's the job of this committee to determine what's funny, and we don't care how long you've been submitting captions. | 1.5091 | 0.03061 | 548 | 341 | 135 | 72 |
117 | Lunch is here. Who ordered accountant? | 1.5091 | 0.02418 | 882 | 550 | 215 | 117 |
118 | Why are we having all these people from shithole places coming here? | 1.5086 | 0.03265 | 525 | 339 | 105 | 81 |
119 | And Ted will be helping us improve our people skills! | 1.5064 | 0.03317 | 391 | 230 | 125 | 36 |
120 | I thought you ordered Chinese. | 1.5060 | 0.02478 | 834 | 521 | 204 | 109 |
121 | We've listened to your excuse "I'm only human" for the last time! | 1.5050 | 0.03540 | 400 | 248 | 102 | 50 |
122 | So we're going with "Side effects include fatigue, nausea and transfiguration into alien form." | 1.5035 | 0.02653 | 717 | 447 | 179 | 91 |
123 | Some side effects are always possible when you begin a new medication | 1.5033 | 0.02484 | 763 | 463 | 216 | 84 |
124 | And that’s when Frank realized he brought the wrong brownies for lunch. | 1.5029 | 0.02476 | 865 | 551 | 193 | 121 |
125 | I think we've filled our diversity quota. | 1.5028 | 0.02323 | 881 | 537 | 245 | 99 |
126 | He’s not our usual kind of slimy, but he did work on Wall Street. | 1.5018 | 0.02966 | 558 | 345 | 146 | 67 |
127 | And now a word from the man who brought us genetic engineering | 1.5000 | 0.02659 | 668 | 408 | 186 | 74 |
128 | This is Bob. He saw our listing on Monster.com. | 1.4993 | 0.02620 | 721 | 450 | 181 | 88 |
129 | “He’s from a small planet on a distant galaxy and he wants us to help his dad ‘get something’ on somebody named Joe Biden.” | 1.4984 | 0.02910 | 630 | 405 | 136 | 89 |
130 | I see lunch has arrived | 1.4982 | 0.02415 | 833 | 516 | 219 | 98 |
131 | Nice costume, Frank. | 1.4961 | 0.02481 | 770 | 474 | 210 | 86 |
132 | I know you wanted Mexican or Chinese, but American isn't that bad. | 1.4954 | 0.02502 | 767 | 475 | 204 | 88 |
133 | Mr. Darwin, I believe, has a few questions. | 1.4950 | 0.03073 | 499 | 307 | 137 | 55 |
134 | This is the monster I was telling you about. | 1.4948 | 0.02448 | 762 | 469 | 213 | 80 |
135 | This is Gary, he's our appetizer... | 1.4944 | 0.02536 | 801 | 511 | 184 | 106 |
136 | Excellent, lunch is here. | 1.4935 | 0.02490 | 772 | 479 | 205 | 88 |
137 | It appears the fence was not all that effective | 1.4935 | 0.02968 | 535 | 330 | 146 | 59 |
138 | As you can see, lunch has arrived. | 1.4934 | 0.02594 | 752 | 477 | 179 | 96 |
139 | He said that he wanted to work where his 'white, male privilege' wasn't an issue. | 1.4931 | 0.02723 | 655 | 409 | 169 | 77 |
140 | Everyone, meet Bob. We've brought him 60 million light years from his home planet to teach us PowerPoint. | 1.4912 | 0.03564 | 399 | 254 | 94 | 51 |
141 | Don't believe what you see- it's a fake vision. | 1.4910 | 0.02816 | 725 | 489 | 117 | 119 |
142 | Who’s this weirdo!! | 1.4903 | 0.03320 | 463 | 296 | 107 | 60 |
143 | ...I’m kidding, he’s here to audit us | 1.4903 | 0.02602 | 667 | 407 | 193 | 67 |
144 | Our guest will read excepts from his new book "Where the Mild things Are." | 1.4890 | 0.02662 | 681 | 427 | 175 | 79 |
145 | Let's all welcome Ted to the Extinct Species Group! | 1.4877 | 0.02636 | 693 | 435 | 178 | 80 |
146 | Mr. Darwin would like to ask a few questions | 1.4862 | 0.02599 | 689 | 428 | 187 | 74 |
147 | The question is, can he adapt? | 1.4859 | 0.02904 | 533 | 327 | 153 | 53 |
148 | This meeting of the Chernobyl Alumni Association will now come to order. | 1.4853 | 0.02704 | 647 | 405 | 170 | 72 |
149 | Here's the human I was telling you about -- he survived climate change because he was on a mission to Mars. | 1.4852 | 0.03028 | 472 | 286 | 143 | 43 |
150 | Sorry Ted, you want the third floor. This is Inhuman Resources. | 1.4850 | 0.02667 | 668 | 423 | 168 | 77 |
151 | If you're not at the table, you're on the menu. | 1.4850 | 0.02526 | 734 | 458 | 196 | 80 |
152 | Don't worry, President Trump is not really draining the swamp. | 1.4850 | 0.02673 | 699 | 447 | 165 | 87 |
153 | We are going to take a break now because, as you can see, lunch just arrived. | 1.4845 | 0.02540 | 708 | 438 | 197 | 73 |
154 | This is Glenn, from auditing. He has scared far more people than all you monsters combined. | 1.4835 | 0.02696 | 699 | 451 | 158 | 90 |
155 | Remember, talk slowly and keep it simple. | 1.4804 | 0.02601 | 664 | 411 | 187 | 66 |
156 | Before we adjourn forever, let’s thank Jeff for dreaming us. | 1.4794 | 0.03092 | 486 | 305 | 129 | 52 |
157 | Mr. Darwin will be helping us with the selection process. | 1.4787 | 0.02618 | 658 | 409 | 183 | 66 |
158 | Thank you, Bob. Mansplaining is new to us, but I guess we'll get used to it. | 1.4778 | 0.02951 | 496 | 304 | 147 | 45 |
159 | Don’t bring your white male privilege in here Brad . | 1.4765 | 0.03242 | 426 | 265 | 119 | 42 |
160 | If it’s Sunday, it’s eat the press! | 1.4764 | 0.03032 | 508 | 321 | 132 | 55 |
161 | Looks like lunch is here.... | 1.4759 | 0.02697 | 643 | 407 | 166 | 70 |
162 | You're a token, get used to it. | 1.4755 | 0.02769 | 612 | 388 | 157 | 67 |
163 | Greg enjoyed morning briefings more when he was high as a kite. | 1.4754 | 0.02833 | 610 | 393 | 144 | 73 |
164 | Welcome to the Forum of American Monsters. President Trump will be joining us shortly. | 1.4751 | 0.03219 | 482 | 313 | 109 | 60 |
165 | He's the new affirmative action hire. | 1.4750 | 0.03674 | 320 | 197 | 94 | 29 |
166 | It's unanimous, then We will deny that our E.D. medicine causes any side effects! | 1.4748 | 0.02889 | 575 | 368 | 141 | 66 |
167 | Good news everyone! The Far Side is coming back and full employment won't be far behind | 1.4748 | 0.02878 | 575 | 367 | 143 | 65 |
168 | We're helping the President build a different kind of swamp. | 1.4745 | 0.02790 | 628 | 405 | 148 | 75 |
169 | Bill is a special emissary from Washington D.C. He wants to know if we have have any dirt on the Bidens. | 1.4720 | 0.02973 | 553 | 358 | 129 | 66 |
170 | On advice of counsel, I will not be hiding under Timmy's bed this evening. | 1.4716 | 0.02994 | 564 | 370 | 122 | 72 |
171 | Since it's Chuck's nightmare, I say we let him chair. | 1.4714 | 0.02713 | 611 | 384 | 166 | 61 |
172 | I've been told we've been lacking the "human touch." | 1.4711 | 0.02752 | 605 | 383 | 159 | 63 |
173 | That’s the best Jared Kushner costume I’ve seen this season, Yarog. | 1.4703 | 0.02846 | 572 | 364 | 147 | 61 |
174 | I'd like to introduce a young up-and-comer to the group. This is Jared. | 1.4692 | 0.03331 | 439 | 285 | 102 | 52 |
175 | OK, be honest, who wet their pants when they first saw him? | 1.4681 | 0.03549 | 376 | 242 | 92 | 42 |
176 | If you don't have a seat at the table,you're on the menu. | 1.4678 | 0.02830 | 605 | 393 | 141 | 71 |
177 | Do we hire it or eat it. Let's vote. | 1.4677 | 0.02778 | 588 | 373 | 155 | 60 |
178 | I've brought in a human to speak to us about the new meat alternative." | 1.4672 | 0.03152 | 458 | 291 | 120 | 47 |
179 | We hired him on Monster.com. | 1.4670 | 0.02875 | 546 | 346 | 145 | 55 |
180 | On earth they call this "affirmative action" . | 1.4668 | 0.02890 | 557 | 357 | 140 | 60 |
181 | Yes, the job's a nightmare, but we offer free dental. | 1.4664 | 0.02999 | 521 | 335 | 129 | 57 |
182 | Congrats on the scariest Halloween costume yet: a Republican | 1.4652 | 0.02965 | 589 | 394 | 116 | 79 |
183 | Wayne is here to discuss diversity and tolerance. Don't eat this one. | 1.4649 | 0.02786 | 570 | 360 | 155 | 55 |
184 | Our new hire's from Earth. But keep him off the books: He's a undocumented alien. | 1.4640 | 0.02848 | 556 | 354 | 146 | 56 |
185 | I know what you’re thinking, but Pete is an absolute beast when it comes to spreadsheets. | 1.4640 | 0.03453 | 375 | 238 | 100 | 37 |
186 | First, the good news. The experiment was a success! That’s also the bad news. | 1.4626 | 0.03093 | 441 | 275 | 128 | 38 |
187 | Oh good, the exotic dancer is here! | 1.4625 | 0.02999 | 506 | 324 | 130 | 52 |
188 | Everybody o.k. with Italian? | 1.4623 | 0.02900 | 530 | 337 | 141 | 52 |
189 | I know what you all must be thinking. He hasn't lost his humanity yet. | 1.4621 | 0.03243 | 422 | 268 | 113 | 41 |
190 | Gary is going to help with our expansion into the vital attic and closet markets. | 1.4620 | 0.02931 | 552 | 359 | 131 | 62 |
191 | This cabinet was vetted by the White House. | 1.4606 | 0.03460 | 406 | 267 | 91 | 48 |
192 | I'd like to introduce Larry, the monster on top of the bed. | 1.4595 | 0.03006 | 555 | 370 | 115 | 70 |
193 | His name is Steven Spielberg, and he says he can make us all rich and famous | 1.4593 | 0.03196 | 455 | 295 | 111 | 49 |
194 | Help yourself to the mushrooms. Then join us. | 1.4591 | 0.03006 | 501 | 322 | 128 | 51 |
195 | Who ordered take-out? | 1.4579 | 0.03041 | 522 | 344 | 117 | 61 |
196 | We're hoping he's going to explain to us why they wear "clothes". | 1.4571 | 0.02918 | 525 | 337 | 136 | 52 |
197 | When Earth sends its people, they're not sending their best... | 1.4558 | 0.03928 | 294 | 190 | 74 | 30 |
198 | I’ll keep this brief. I know how swamped you all are. | 1.4554 | 0.02864 | 516 | 326 | 145 | 45 |
199 | Let the record show we have met our diversity goals. | 1.4553 | 0.02934 | 492 | 311 | 138 | 43 |
200 | I’d like to welcome a new member to the Extinct Society. Say hello to to the last living Republican. | 1.4553 | 0.03113 | 514 | 344 | 106 | 64 |
201 | He represents a market we can no longer ignore. | 1.4550 | 0.03009 | 433 | 267 | 135 | 31 |
202 | If we drain the swamp, where will we go? | 1.4549 | 0.02902 | 532 | 343 | 136 | 53 |
203 | You wanted diversity – this is what diversity looks like. | 1.4545 | 0.02881 | 528 | 338 | 140 | 50 |
204 | If you want to blend in, lose the suit. We're business casual. | 1.4531 | 0.03132 | 426 | 269 | 121 | 36 |
205 | And now a report from human resources. | 1.4530 | 0.03119 | 479 | 314 | 113 | 52 |
206 | This is Kenny, our new Diversity & Inclusion officer. | 1.4528 | 0.03028 | 477 | 306 | 126 | 45 |
207 | Disregard his hideous looks and remember he’s a computer whiz. | 1.4528 | 0.02903 | 519 | 333 | 137 | 49 |
208 | Meet our new intern, Mr. Sendak. | 1.4514 | 0.02953 | 494 | 316 | 133 | 45 |
209 | Looks like HR sent us an actual human resource. | 1.4512 | 0.02852 | 512 | 324 | 145 | 43 |
210 | This is Dave. He’ll be providing lunch. | 1.4512 | 0.03021 | 512 | 337 | 119 | 56 |
211 | Don’t look at us... We all got vaccinated. | 1.4474 | 0.03802 | 304 | 197 | 78 | 29 |
212 | All in favor of Ralph joining us for lunch say, "yum". | 1.4467 | 0.03088 | 488 | 323 | 112 | 53 |
213 | Bob from R&D is here today to introduce a new concept called "clothing." | 1.4465 | 0.03028 | 486 | 317 | 121 | 48 |
214 | Not scary? He's a climate scientist. | 1.4463 | 0.03272 | 419 | 274 | 103 | 42 |
215 | Enough of ‘to err is human’ excuses, Ralph. | 1.4460 | 0.03134 | 435 | 280 | 116 | 39 |
216 | Roger here is one of our diversity hires. | 1.4459 | 0.03138 | 444 | 288 | 114 | 42 |
217 | There is nothing scarier than being audited. | 1.4452 | 0.03141 | 465 | 307 | 109 | 49 |
218 | Shall we give humanity a seat at the table? | 1.4452 | 0.02959 | 465 | 295 | 133 | 37 |
219 | Lunch has finally arrived. And so fresh. | 1.4444 | 0.03068 | 477 | 313 | 116 | 48 |
220 | Jeremy, here, is a legacy. And his father was delicious! | 1.4436 | 0.04051 | 266 | 173 | 68 | 25 |
221 | Don’t worry about his appearance, he still has a reptilian brain. | 1.4427 | 0.03071 | 454 | 294 | 119 | 41 |
222 | He is not "just" a diversity hire. | 1.4422 | 0.03692 | 303 | 194 | 84 | 25 |
223 | The Republicans decide to conduct their own impeachment inquiry. | 1.4415 | 0.03731 | 342 | 230 | 73 | 39 |
224 | Our management consultant, here, is ready to discuss our Myers-Briggs results. | 1.4409 | 0.03406 | 381 | 250 | 94 | 37 |
225 | His DNA might say human, but he identifies as one of us! | 1.4407 | 0.03375 | 413 | 277 | 90 | 46 |
226 | "And now, Mr. Jones will be leading us in our annual diversity training session." | 1.4405 | 0.03180 | 395 | 251 | 114 | 30 |
227 | What? Too anthropomorphic? | 1.4405 | 0.03587 | 336 | 219 | 86 | 31 |
228 | 'They were out of donuts." | 1.4403 | 0.03174 | 461 | 308 | 103 | 50 |
229 | He's a diversity hire. | 1.4401 | 0.02999 | 459 | 295 | 126 | 38 |
230 | Sydney's an attorney, so I'm sure he'll fit right in. | 1.4401 | 0.03093 | 459 | 301 | 114 | 44 |
231 | So this is where the wild things went. | 1.4393 | 0.03380 | 412 | 277 | 89 | 46 |
232 | We have come to a consensus. You are officially on the endangered species list. | 1.4387 | 0.03452 | 351 | 227 | 94 | 30 |
233 | Everyone, I just want to say how proud I am of the way we've brought employee diversity to a whole new level | 1.4384 | 0.03418 | 349 | 224 | 97 | 28 |
234 | As part of the new Diversity program, our new intern, Bob, will be starting today. Make him feel welcome and do not eat him. | 1.4378 | 0.03089 | 450 | 294 | 115 | 41 |
235 | No matter where you’re from, accountants always look the same. | 1.4375 | 0.03114 | 448 | 294 | 112 | 42 |
236 | Don't let his looks fool you. He worked at the White House. He's a true monster. | 1.4372 | 0.03356 | 430 | 293 | 86 | 51 |
237 | Everyone give a warm welcome to our token white guy. | 1.4347 | 0.03278 | 398 | 261 | 101 | 36 |
238 | Do any of these beings look like the one in your nightmare? | 1.4345 | 0.03196 | 435 | 289 | 103 | 43 |
239 | I'm happy to report that productivity is up 20% since we hired someone with opposable thumbs. | 1.4341 | 0.03171 | 417 | 272 | 109 | 36 |
240 | No Frank, even if everyone thought Phil here looked delicious, it is completely inappropriate to say "you look tasty" or "I'd love to eat you" and does create a hostile work environment. | 1.4340 | 0.03417 | 394 | 265 | 87 | 42 |
241 | Phil is here to help us with our image. | 1.4339 | 0.02974 | 431 | 273 | 129 | 29 |
242 | So you've found where we are, Mr.Sendak! | 1.4339 | 0.03201 | 431 | 286 | 103 | 42 |
243 | Imagine, ears! | 1.4331 | 0.03299 | 381 | 248 | 101 | 32 |
244 | This is Bill - fresh out of college, he’s going teach us old dinosaurs how to perform simple maneuvers on an iPhone. | 1.4329 | 0.03429 | 395 | 267 | 85 | 43 |
245 | What do you mean you’re only human..? We’re sick and tired of that excuse! | 1.4328 | 0.03355 | 372 | 243 | 97 | 32 |
246 | ...AND, he says we would all own the swamp together and each get four weekends there every year! | 1.4316 | 0.03348 | 373 | 244 | 97 | 32 |
247 | The Supreme Court declared corporations are human beings but wait until you hear this. | 1.4315 | 0.03554 | 343 | 227 | 84 | 32 |
248 | This cabinet meeting will come to order. First, we'll hear from the Secretary of Homeland Security about the deportation of aliens. | 1.4313 | 0.03249 | 422 | 282 | 98 | 42 |
249 | This is not what we meant by Human Resources. | 1.4312 | 0.03522 | 327 | 212 | 89 | 26 |
250 | Corporate says we have to display more diversity, so get this guy a chair and something to do. | 1.4310 | 0.03207 | 420 | 278 | 103 | 39 |
251 | He's a part of our diversity policy. | 1.4304 | 0.03360 | 381 | 252 | 94 | 35 |
252 | I told you we should have built that wall! | 1.4300 | 0.03396 | 400 | 271 | 86 | 43 |
253 | Jared here wants to know if we have another swamp monster to replace Rudy Giuliani. | 1.4275 | 0.03423 | 407 | 280 | 80 | 47 |
254 | OK who ordered the human tartare? | 1.4273 | 0.03621 | 337 | 226 | 78 | 33 |
255 | Trust me. He's as weird as the rest of us. | 1.4272 | 0.03196 | 405 | 266 | 105 | 34 |
256 | Don't give me that 'Darwin' crap! I didn't evolve from something that looks like that. | 1.4270 | 0.03471 | 370 | 252 | 80 | 38 |
257 | He usually works from home planet. | 1.4267 | 0.03426 | 389 | 264 | 84 | 41 |
258 | T'nod llet siht yug, tub ew tae elpoep. | 1.4267 | 0.04342 | 225 | 149 | 56 | 20 |
259 | So we're agreed: no collusion, no obstruction, no quid pro quo. | 1.4263 | 0.03665 | 312 | 206 | 78 | 27 |
260 | Who, him? He's just my emotional support human. | 1.4254 | 0.03275 | 355 | 228 | 103 | 24 |
261 | Mr. Busby from HR will now say a few words about work place safety, how to enter and leave little Billy's bedroom without any more Workmans Comp injuries. | 1.4250 | 0.03261 | 400 | 268 | 95 | 37 |
262 | Let’s eat, I mean MEET our new cartoonist! | 1.4250 | 0.03223 | 400 | 267 | 99 | 34 |
263 | I’ve asked Bob from HR to join us for lunch. | 1.4250 | 0.03280 | 400 | 267 | 96 | 37 |
264 | He's an illegal alien but aren't we all. | 1.4249 | 0.04278 | 233 | 155 | 57 | 21 |
265 | Let us welcome the newest member of our endangered species group. | 1.4246 | 0.03234 | 398 | 263 | 101 | 34 |
266 | Have you met Mr. Sendak? | 1.4242 | 0.03265 | 396 | 266 | 92 | 37 |
267 | Welcome to the first meeting of the Diversity Committee. This white man will take your lunch orders. | 1.4242 | 0.03342 | 396 | 267 | 90 | 39 |
268 | Todd from marketing is rebranding us from scary monsters to diverse, under the bed companions. | 1.4239 | 0.03276 | 394 | 265 | 94 | 35 |
269 | Who brought their attorney?” | 1.4235 | 0.03248 | 392 | 259 | 100 | 33 |
270 | Mr. Henderson merely wishes to know which one of you ate his secretary? | 1.4231 | 0.03198 | 390 | 255 | 105 | 30 |
271 | I am glad to announce that we've all received our green cards except for Ignatio, here. | 1.4231 | 0.03260 | 390 | 258 | 99 | 33 |
272 | Try not to judge him by his appearance. | 1.4230 | 0.03448 | 357 | 238 | 87 | 32 |
273 | He is joining us from human resources | 1.4218 | 0.03508 | 358 | 244 | 78 | 36 |
274 | Of course, we couldn't drain the entire swamp. | 1.4218 | 0.03441 | 358 | 239 | 87 | 32 |
275 | If this is their leader, I don’t think we have much to worry about. | 1.4213 | 0.03385 | 356 | 235 | 92 | 29 |
276 | He's part of our affirmative action commitment. | 1.4212 | 0.03260 | 349 | 224 | 103 | 22 |
277 | Let's all welcome tonight's dinner guest. | 1.4208 | 0.03267 | 385 | 255 | 98 | 32 |
278 | Oh, good, dinner is here. | 1.4208 | 0.03389 | 385 | 261 | 86 | 38 |
279 | So, you're the diversity hire. | 1.4208 | 0.03205 | 385 | 252 | 104 | 29 |
280 | I've brought in Ted here to help us better understand what 'selling our soul to become a Trump cabinet member' really meant | 1.4204 | 0.03520 | 383 | 266 | 73 | 44 |
281 | Now, now, there's room for everyone at the table of Welikum, Raw, Bones & All." | 1.4204 | 0.03481 | 383 | 264 | 77 | 42 |
282 | Who's the weirdo? | 1.4204 | 0.03362 | 383 | 258 | 89 | 36 |
283 | Our press secretary will, once again, deny any rumors about Area 51 | 1.4203 | 0.03672 | 345 | 238 | 69 | 38 |
284 | 'Boot-edge-edge.' It's pronounced "Boot-edge-edge.' | 1.4199 | 0.03333 | 381 | 255 | 92 | 34 |
285 | Guess who didn't get the 'Business Casual Friday' memo. | 1.4191 | 0.03357 | 377 | 253 | 90 | 34 |
286 | Our ride is here. Put your human costumes on and let’s head back to the White House. | 1.4188 | 0.03507 | 382 | 265 | 74 | 43 |
287 | Stop drooling, Doug, we're not going to eat him right now. First, we have to pick his brain. | 1.4187 | 0.03327 | 375 | 250 | 93 | 32 |
288 | Good News! Bill says our efforts are working - earth will soon be warm enough for all of us. | 1.4187 | 0.03349 | 375 | 252 | 88 | 34 |
289 | Is it already “take your human to work” day again? | 1.4177 | 0.03610 | 328 | 221 | 77 | 30 |
290 | He’s not extinct yet, but he’d like to join the waiting list. | 1.4167 | 0.03301 | 372 | 247 | 95 | 30 |
291 | Bob here is the genius lawyer who got us the Ark exemptions. | 1.4159 | 0.03622 | 339 | 232 | 73 | 34 |
292 | I know, he freaks me out too. | 1.4159 | 0.03500 | 339 | 227 | 83 | 29 |
293 | Today's brownbag will be Bob from Human Resources. | 1.4159 | 0.03500 | 339 | 227 | 83 | 29 |
294 | Let's take a break - I see our lunch just arrived. | 1.4158 | 0.03304 | 368 | 244 | 95 | 29 |
295 | This is Rex, our new species conflict resolution manager. | 1.4158 | 0.03370 | 368 | 247 | 89 | 32 |
296 | All in favor, raise your ... never mind just say "aye". | 1.4148 | 0.03505 | 364 | 250 | 77 | 37 |
297 | Bob's our new P.R. guy, he's going to help us with changing the name of our planet, from Uranus, so we're no longer a laughing stock. | 1.4144 | 0.04827 | 181 | 122 | 43 | 16 |
298 | On a lighter note, the suit here is concerned about the claw marks on the table. | 1.4144 | 0.03152 | 362 | 242 | 95 | 24 |
299 | So guys, this is my idea for this year’s Halloween costume trend | 1.4144 | 0.03341 | 362 | 241 | 92 | 29 |
300 | Let’s all welcome Joe, who brings our first opposable thumbs to our team. | 1.4142 | 0.03353 | 367 | 246 | 90 | 31 |
301 | Deplorables, I'd like you to meet human scum | 1.4139 | 0.03422 | 360 | 243 | 85 | 32 |
302 | Find an open seat. There’s no reason to feel alienated. | 1.4139 | 0.03330 | 360 | 239 | 93 | 28 |
303 | Mr. Brooks left his last company due to feelings of alienation. | 1.4134 | 0.03296 | 358 | 236 | 96 | 26 |
304 | I know it looks uncomfortable, but it's just for the congressional hearing. | 1.4110 | 0.03650 | 309 | 208 | 75 | 26 |
305 | Great . . .now that we're all here, who's under the bed tonight? | 1.4103 | 0.03458 | 351 | 239 | 79 | 32 |
306 | Jeff, the costume party is tomorrow. | 1.4103 | 0.03505 | 351 | 240 | 78 | 33 |
307 | We'd like to discuss your feeling alienated. | 1.4101 | 0.03584 | 317 | 213 | 78 | 26 |
308 | He can’t slash, or ooze, or teleport, or even feed on blood. Still, his parents are huge donors, so I say we give him a chance. | 1.4098 | 0.03654 | 305 | 205 | 75 | 25 |
309 | This is Ed. He's part of our diversity initiative. | 1.4095 | 0.03683 | 315 | 215 | 71 | 29 |
310 | Lunch is here. | 1.4092 | 0.03510 | 347 | 237 | 78 | 32 |
311 | We’re here to address the ridiculous claim that our fracking is causing health issues! | 1.4092 | 0.03557 | 347 | 239 | 74 | 34 |
312 | Relax guys, he's a lawyer. | 1.4092 | 0.03339 | 347 | 230 | 92 | 25 |
313 | Welcome our lunch guest. | 1.4092 | 0.03364 | 347 | 231 | 90 | 26 |
314 | He puts the ‘human’ in Human Resources! | 1.4092 | 0.03438 | 347 | 234 | 84 | 29 |
315 | Auditors, always the scariest person in the room. | 1.4087 | 0.03402 | 345 | 231 | 87 | 27 |
316 | He's from the Space Force and wants to know what we have on the Bidens. | 1.4087 | 0.03571 | 345 | 238 | 73 | 34 |
317 | Friends, I’d like to address the human in the room. | 1.4087 | 0.03302 | 345 | 227 | 95 | 23 |
318 | Hey everyone, meet my new friend John, a creationist. | 1.4084 | 0.03426 | 311 | 203 | 89 | 19 |
319 | Our new intern Bob is a "vegetarian." That means that he doesn't taste like meat. | 1.4082 | 0.03674 | 316 | 216 | 71 | 29 |
320 | I'd like to introduce Monster.com's new Chief Diversity Officer. | 1.4082 | 0.03441 | 343 | 231 | 84 | 28 |
321 | He has to guess which one of us is illegal. | 1.4082 | 0.03514 | 343 | 234 | 78 | 31 |
322 | Let's all welcome Bob to the diversity and inclusion committee. | 1.4082 | 0.03391 | 343 | 229 | 88 | 26 |
323 | And now here's Tim with an update from Area 51. | 1.4082 | 0.03490 | 343 | 233 | 80 | 30 |
324 | We regret that your ancestors were not chosen for the ark, but we cannot offer you reparations. | 1.4080 | 0.03995 | 299 | 212 | 52 | 35 |
325 | It calls itself a 'human,' and our studies show it alone can destroy a world in just over 200,000 years! | 1.4076 | 0.03634 | 314 | 213 | 74 | 27 |
326 | I am thrilled to present the captain of our new diversity initiative” | 1.4076 | 0.03404 | 341 | 228 | 87 | 26 |
327 | I think we all agree that Johnson here has the best Halloween costume. | 1.4076 | 0.03479 | 341 | 231 | 81 | 29 |
328 | I'd like to introduce Bob, our new director of diversity. | 1.4076 | 0.03353 | 341 | 226 | 91 | 24 |
329 | Just remember: we’re all ‘acting’ Cabinet members. | 1.4076 | 0.03528 | 341 | 233 | 77 | 31 |
330 | Whoever doesn't have a seat at the table is on the menu. | 1.4059 | 0.03510 | 340 | 232 | 78 | 30 |
331 | I blame myself. I should have insisted on free vaccinations for all. | 1.4058 | 0.03712 | 308 | 211 | 69 | 28 |
332 | I know, I know, but my daughter intends to marry him in June. | 1.4036 | 0.03412 | 332 | 222 | 86 | 24 |
333 | Its called a human. We're told they do not feel pain the same way we do. | 1.4032 | 0.03817 | 253 | 167 | 70 | 16 |
334 | Hey, great costume, Ned! | 1.4024 | 0.03493 | 328 | 222 | 80 | 26 |
335 | It had been years since Simon, the accountant had checked on his imaginary friends and he was pleased to find them in the middle of a finance meeting. | 1.4024 | 0.03572 | 328 | 225 | 74 | 29 |
336 | Please give a warm welcome to our very first Director of Human Resources. | 1.4024 | 0.03439 | 328 | 220 | 84 | 24 |
337 | Yes, his membership in The Extinction Club is provisional, for now, but I'm confident he'll be full-fledged well before the next millennium. | 1.4024 | 0.03439 | 328 | 220 | 84 | 24 |
338 | Strange.. He has a tail on his neck! | 1.4018 | 0.03508 | 326 | 221 | 79 | 26 |
339 | Our research indicates that this is what we will look like 100 million years from now. | 1.4018 | 0.03561 | 326 | 223 | 75 | 28 |
340 | Carl is here for lunch. | 1.4018 | 0.03666 | 326 | 227 | 67 | 32 |
341 | And this was our original form before genetic engineering. | 1.4018 | 0.03691 | 326 | 228 | 65 | 33 |
342 | I’ve decided to shake things up around here by bringing in some warm blood. | 1.4018 | 0.03508 | 326 | 221 | 79 | 26 |
343 | I told you he was real. | 1.4018 | 0.03398 | 326 | 217 | 87 | 22 |
344 | It’s Okay, Rudy Sent Him. | 1.4018 | 0.03742 | 326 | 230 | 61 | 35 |
345 | I’ve got to hand it to you Bill, that is one scary costume. | 1.4012 | 0.03576 | 324 | 222 | 74 | 28 |
346 | Meet our new writer. He specializes in human interest stories, whatever those are. | 1.4012 | 0.03522 | 324 | 220 | 78 | 26 |
347 | But does he “spark joy”? | 1.4008 | 0.04017 | 242 | 163 | 61 | 18 |
348 | This is Jeff, our new diversity consultant | 1.4006 | 0.03454 | 322 | 216 | 83 | 23 |
349 | Our commitment to diversity is evident. | 1.4006 | 0.03398 | 322 | 214 | 87 | 21 |
350 | Thanks everyone for taking the time to come along during your lunch break, and I'm sorry for the secrecy around the purpose of the meeting. You may not remember this man but he sure as sure remembers you. Greg, it's time to face your inner demons. | 1.4006 | 0.03698 | 322 | 225 | 65 | 32 |
351 | Before we take over their planet, Dan here needs to explain the intricacies of property law. | 1.4000 | 0.03552 | 320 | 218 | 76 | 26 |
352 | He’s from ICE. Anyone here undocumented? | 1.4000 | 0.03661 | 320 | 222 | 68 | 30 |
353 | Okay, it looks like lunch has arrived. | 1.4000 | 0.03607 | 320 | 220 | 72 | 28 |
354 | I motion to admit this honest congressman to The Society of Imaginary Beings. | 1.4000 | 0.03714 | 320 | 224 | 64 | 32 |
355 | This is Ted from the IRS. I know he doesn't look it but, trust me, come April no one is scarier. | 1.3994 | 0.03539 | 318 | 216 | 77 | 25 |
356 | It's tradition for new employees to lick the reactor. | 1.3993 | 0.03926 | 278 | 193 | 58 | 26 |
357 | His preferred pronouns are he, him, his. | 1.3993 | 0.03652 | 278 | 185 | 75 | 18 |
358 | He didn't quite catch on when I said he was invited for lunch. Who wants to break it to him? | 1.3987 | 0.03638 | 316 | 218 | 70 | 28 |
359 | I know, but unfortunately we are still required to have one human on the board. | 1.3987 | 0.03526 | 316 | 214 | 78 | 24 |
360 | First things first: you can’t eat Joe, our new diversity hire. | 1.3987 | 0.03440 | 316 | 218 | 72 | 24 |
361 | I'm all for diversity in the boardroom, but bringing in a middle-aged white guy is a bit over the top... | 1.3987 | 0.03611 | 316 | 217 | 72 | 27 |
362 | We 're calling it the "corporate lobbyist". Sure, it's not as flashy and instantaneous as the gamma pulse death ray, but the R&D guys downstairs assure us it will be far more destructive. | 1.3987 | 0.03747 | 316 | 222 | 62 | 32 |
363 | Would the owner of the white Subaru parked out front please move your vehicle? | 1.3969 | 0.03928 | 257 | 175 | 62 | 20 |
364 | By my count, the predators have it. You vegans can eat his clothes. | 1.3968 | 0.03561 | 315 | 215 | 75 | 25 |
365 | Now that we’ve all had a good laugh, Dave can change out of his costume and we’ll get back to work. | 1.3955 | 0.03562 | 311 | 212 | 75 | 24 |
366 | Ah! Lunch! | 1.3950 | 0.03956 | 281 | 198 | 55 | 28 |
367 | He followed me here. Can I keep him? | 1.3950 | 0.03656 | 281 | 189 | 73 | 19 |
368 | Now that we're a majority of this zoo's board, do I hear a motion to open all cages and gates? | 1.3948 | 0.03750 | 309 | 217 | 62 | 30 |
369 | The business lunch special okay with everyone? | 1.3948 | 0.03665 | 309 | 214 | 68 | 27 |
370 | Sorry, I’m late. Took me light years to get here. | 1.3943 | 0.03742 | 279 | 190 | 68 | 21 |
371 | Fred is not on our menu this evening. He is on our endangered species list. | 1.3941 | 0.03504 | 307 | 207 | 79 | 21 |
372 | He was previously a lawyer at the White House... he should fit right in. | 1.3941 | 0.03767 | 307 | 216 | 61 | 30 |
373 | I know some of you wanted me to order Indian for lunch, but I went with American. | 1.3941 | 0.03681 | 307 | 213 | 67 | 27 |
374 | This model is called charmless bureaucrat. | 1.3934 | 0.03639 | 305 | 210 | 70 | 25 |
375 | I know what you're thinking,but let's give him a chance. | 1.3934 | 0.03488 | 305 | 205 | 80 | 20 |
376 | I’d like to introduce our new Human Resources Director. | 1.3934 | 0.03669 | 305 | 211 | 68 | 26 |
377 | All those in favor of tagging and releasing the species raise your right claw. | 1.3934 | 0.03609 | 305 | 209 | 72 | 24 |
378 | He's not a monster, but he thinks like one. | 1.3934 | 0.03549 | 305 | 207 | 76 | 22 |
379 | This meeting looks like a New Yorker cartoon. | 1.3933 | 0.03784 | 267 | 181 | 67 | 19 |
380 | Get used to it, guys - it's all about diversity | 1.3927 | 0.03564 | 303 | 206 | 75 | 22 |
381 | And we're now live to the President's Cabinet meeting! | 1.3927 | 0.03625 | 303 | 212 | 63 | 26 |
382 | Yes, he's scary-looking. But let's not prejudge. | 1.3927 | 0.03625 | 303 | 208 | 71 | 24 |
383 | So we're all decided on lunch. | 1.3927 | 0.03655 | 303 | 209 | 69 | 25 |
384 | Please welcome the winner of this year’s Halloween costume contest. | 1.3920 | 0.03672 | 301 | 208 | 68 | 25 |
385 | Yes, an Equal Opportunity hire. | 1.3920 | 0.03732 | 301 | 210 | 64 | 27 |
386 | Everyone, say hi to Phil. Phil is providing lunch for us today! | 1.3920 | 0.03641 | 301 | 207 | 70 | 24 |
387 | He's with ICE and wants to see our papers. | 1.3913 | 0.03749 | 299 | 209 | 63 | 27 |
388 | After a rigorous hiring process, I decided to go with The Devil You Know. | 1.3913 | 0.03501 | 299 | 201 | 79 | 19 |
389 | Ronald will present the third quarter results. Let's not eat the messenger. | 1.3913 | 0.03469 | 299 | 200 | 81 | 18 |
390 | I'd like to introduce Stan. Stan is from Roswell, New Mexico. | 1.3907 | 0.03809 | 302 | 214 | 58 | 30 |
391 | Don’t laugh. He was born that way. | 1.3906 | 0.03484 | 297 | 199 | 80 | 18 |
392 | Harold recommends against investing in the planet earth until after 2020. | 1.3899 | 0.05421 | 159 | 115 | 26 | 18 |
393 | Say hi to Kevin; he’s our new inter-species intern. | 1.3898 | 0.03499 | 295 | 198 | 79 | 18 |
394 | Tech sent him over | 1.3898 | 0.03628 | 295 | 202 | 71 | 22 |
395 | As usual, we’ll wrap up with Bob’s always amusing update on human affairs. | 1.3897 | 0.03573 | 290 | 196 | 75 | 19 |
396 | Polish, charm, a can-do attitude... from now on, we only eat MBAs. | 1.3891 | 0.03832 | 293 | 207 | 58 | 28 |
397 | Trust me, he's a monster in the courtroom. | 1.3891 | 0.03547 | 293 | 203 | 68 | 22 |
398 | Humans are good, they taste like chicken. | 1.3885 | 0.03618 | 296 | 203 | 71 | 22 |
399 | Meet our new head of Human Resources. | 1.3883 | 0.03693 | 291 | 201 | 67 | 23 |
400 | After he is here a while he won’t seem so scary | 1.3875 | 0.03612 | 289 | 197 | 72 | 20 |
401 | This is Phil, our diversity hire. | 1.3875 | 0.03612 | 289 | 197 | 72 | 20 |
402 | Ed is our new accountant. We need an accountant, so please don't eat this one. | 1.3875 | 0.03711 | 289 | 200 | 66 | 23 |
403 | He’s my great, great, great, great, great nephew. He’ll start in the mailroom, and no snide remarks on his looks. | 1.3870 | 0.03651 | 292 | 201 | 69 | 22 |
404 | HR says we may have to expand the list of accepted pronouns. | 1.3868 | 0.03990 | 243 | 167 | 58 | 18 |
405 | Let's all welcome Charlie from Marketing, who uses the pronouns he and him. | 1.3868 | 0.03726 | 243 | 161 | 70 | 12 |
406 | He’s white, he’s human-we think he’s electable. | 1.3868 | 0.03662 | 287 | 197 | 69 | 21 |
407 | Now I know none of us enjoy these diversity training exercises, but let's hear what Bill from HR has to say before we devour him. | 1.3868 | 0.03760 | 287 | 200 | 63 | 24 |
408 | Nice costume, Fred. Where'd you find the tie? | 1.3860 | 0.03712 | 285 | 197 | 66 | 22 |
409 | You'll trust me when I say he's loathsome where it counts. | 1.3860 | 0.03811 | 285 | 200 | 60 | 25 |
410 | The winner of this years "Scariest Costume" contest is Bill, who came cleverly disguised as a staunch Republican! | 1.3860 | 0.03907 | 285 | 203 | 54 | 28 |
411 | We finally hired the scariest monster of all: a white man with no relevant experience but lots of ideas for our company. | 1.3860 | 0.03907 | 285 | 203 | 54 | 28 |
412 | Don’t worry. As a lawyer, he’s barely human. | 1.3843 | 0.03538 | 281 | 189 | 76 | 16 |
413 | Monsters, I present to you one of the scariest creatures of all: a lawyer. | 1.3821 | 0.03888 | 280 | 199 | 55 | 26 |
414 | Did someone order a human from Grubhub? | 1.3821 | 0.03720 | 280 | 194 | 65 | 21 |
415 | I’m happy to report that our diversity initiative has been wildly successful. | 1.3821 | 0.03788 | 280 | 196 | 61 | 23 |
416 | He won our last Caption Contest | 1.3813 | 0.03738 | 278 | 193 | 64 | 21 |
417 | As part of the out-of-court settlement, Timmy is now going to explain the effect having us all in his closet has had on his self-esteem and difficulty forming relationships. | 1.3813 | 0.03560 | 278 | 192 | 68 | 18 |
418 | Late again, Earth -- go get the coffee. | 1.3813 | 0.03668 | 278 | 191 | 68 | 19 |
419 | Jeff will add some much needed diversity to the board | 1.3813 | 0.03632 | 278 | 190 | 70 | 18 |
420 | . . . and because he will be my acting Secretary he doesn't need senate confirmation. | 1.3813 | 0.03668 | 278 | 191 | 68 | 19 |
421 | So we bought the whole planet and this guy was part of the deal. | 1.3813 | 0.03560 | 278 | 188 | 74 | 16 |
422 | Finally will have some diversity on the board. | 1.3813 | 0.03772 | 278 | 194 | 62 | 22 |
423 | He's from Human Resources. | 1.3813 | 0.03703 | 278 | 192 | 66 | 20 |
424 | Meet Billy. He is not to be eaten. | 1.3813 | 0.03807 | 278 | 195 | 60 | 23 |
425 | Meet our new head of Diversity and Inclusion. | 1.3813 | 0.03560 | 278 | 193 | 67 | 18 |
426 | Our company is evolving Jake. Don't be left behind. | 1.3804 | 0.03649 | 276 | 189 | 69 | 18 |
427 | Interplanetary Impeachment council gathered to vote on the impeachment of Trump from the galaxy. | 1.3804 | 0.04059 | 276 | 201 | 45 | 30 |
428 | And for Bring an Alien to Work Day, I've brought Sid... | 1.3804 | 0.03649 | 276 | 189 | 69 | 18 |
429 | We're phasing out hiding in closets at night, but here's Hank to tell us how to annoy people on buses. | 1.3804 | 0.03791 | 276 | 193 | 61 | 22 |
430 | Shall we get this presidential cabinet meeting started? | 1.3804 | 0.03927 | 276 | 197 | 53 | 26 |
431 | This is our new hire in marketing. He’s got some great ideas that will give the firm a human face. | 1.3804 | 0.03685 | 276 | 190 | 67 | 19 |
432 | Rudy here says he has no problem representing slimeballs. | 1.3804 | 0.03720 | 276 | 191 | 65 | 20 |
433 | I'd like to introduce our new legal council, Rudy Giuliani. Rudy here specializes in representing monsters | 1.3804 | 0.04026 | 276 | 200 | 47 | 29 |
434 | Yeah, he looks harmless at first. But then the entitlement comes out! | 1.3804 | 0.03825 | 276 | 194 | 59 | 23 |
435 | Hey everybody, I finally found the guy who's been hiding on top of our beds. | 1.3804 | 0.03859 | 276 | 195 | 57 | 24 |
436 | Please welcome our newest monster: "Creature of Habit." | 1.3796 | 0.03913 | 274 | 195 | 54 | 25 |
437 | Oh great, another affirmative action hire... | 1.3796 | 0.03738 | 274 | 190 | 64 | 20 |
438 | Ok, so you guys wanna split this one or get a few more? | 1.3796 | 0.03844 | 274 | 193 | 58 | 23 |
439 | I guess SOMEONE decided to dress up for Halloween. | 1.3796 | 0.03592 | 274 | 186 | 72 | 16 |
440 | I’d like to convene the meeting of the survivors of the Trump cabinet. | 1.3796 | 0.03879 | 274 | 194 | 56 | 24 |
441 | Don't worry, he's more afraid of us than we are of him. | 1.3796 | 0.03809 | 274 | 192 | 60 | 22 |
442 | Again with the clothes! | 1.3796 | 0.03809 | 274 | 192 | 60 | 22 |
443 | Oh thank goodness. We're finally getting some diversity in this office! | 1.3796 | 0.03774 | 274 | 191 | 62 | 21 |
444 | We finally have a species on the team who knows how to wreak havoc at scale. | 1.3796 | 0.03844 | 274 | 193 | 58 | 23 |
445 | This is Allen, our new assistant manager -- or if he doesn't work out, lunch. | 1.3796 | 0.03738 | 274 | 190 | 64 | 20 |
446 | Oh boy, look what corporate brought in | 1.3796 | 0.03738 | 274 | 190 | 64 | 20 |
447 | Let's show the new guy we're not a bunch of monsters. | 1.3796 | 0.03774 | 274 | 191 | 62 | 21 |
448 | Let's give a warm welcome to our newest White House hire. | 1.3787 | 0.03828 | 272 | 191 | 59 | 22 |
449 | And it's fair to say, that none of us would even be here without the Administration's de-regulation of pesticides. | 1.3787 | 0.04035 | 272 | 197 | 47 | 28 |
450 | Welcome to human sensitivity training. | 1.3787 | 0.03609 | 272 | 185 | 71 | 16 |
451 | HR needs our pronouns. Everyone still using 'it'?" | 1.3787 | 0.03828 | 272 | 191 | 59 | 22 |
452 | Don't worry, he won't eat you. | 1.3787 | 0.03683 | 272 | 187 | 67 | 18 |
453 | HR has advised that we may no longer use Monster.com as our sole recruiting channel. | 1.3787 | 0.03828 | 272 | 191 | 59 | 22 |
454 | Sam's pronouns are it and it. | 1.3783 | 0.04227 | 230 | 163 | 47 | 20 |
455 | Mr. Darwin will set a new course in the evolution of our company. | 1.3783 | 0.04271 | 230 | 164 | 45 | 21 |
456 | Now here' s the deal; he'll fund our little project if we promise to dig up some dirt on his good buddy, the hunter. | 1.3779 | 0.04157 | 217 | 150 | 52 | 15 |
457 | Let's all give a big Trump White House welcome to our newest cabinet member. | 1.3778 | 0.03882 | 270 | 191 | 56 | 23 |
458 | Don't worry, he's our lawyer, he's just as slimy as the rest of us. | 1.3778 | 0.03918 | 270 | 192 | 54 | 24 |
459 | And this is our candidate for a new species. | 1.3778 | 0.03738 | 270 | 187 | 64 | 19 |
460 | I know he's no monster, but he is an attorney which is the best we could do on short notice. | 1.3778 | 0.03953 | 270 | 193 | 52 | 25 |
461 | It will have to lose the suit. | 1.3778 | 0.03701 | 270 | 186 | 66 | 18 |
462 | We're pretty informal here, George. Once you take off those clothes, I'm sure you'll fit in nicely with the other Directors. | 1.3778 | 0.03701 | 270 | 186 | 66 | 18 |
463 | Diverse teams are high-performing teams, so let’s welcome Alan! | 1.3778 | 0.03625 | 270 | 184 | 70 | 16 |
464 | Tim is here to humansplain the pitfalls of corporate diversity initiatives. | 1.3769 | 0.03681 | 268 | 184 | 67 | 17 |
465 | Rudy here says his boss will give us the Earth if we just eat all the Democrats. | 1.3769 | 0.03902 | 268 | 190 | 55 | 23 |
466 | No one said that speed dating would be easy. | 1.3766 | 0.04075 | 231 | 161 | 53 | 17 |
467 | Look at him, wearing a suit on casual Friday. | 1.3759 | 0.03885 | 266 | 188 | 56 | 22 |
468 | This might be a good time to remind everyone of the new company policy, no eating the interns. | 1.3759 | 0.03736 | 266 | 184 | 64 | 18 |
469 | I call to order this meeting of the Comcast board of directors. | 1.3759 | 0.03993 | 266 | 191 | 50 | 25 |
470 | So, what does Dr. Seuss want us to rhyme with this time? | 1.3755 | 0.04191 | 229 | 162 | 48 | 19 |
471 | Bob here would like to join our Rare Species Board. He's a white middle aged male whose only had one job. | 1.3750 | 0.03793 | 264 | 184 | 61 | 19 |
472 | He's here to drain the swamp. | 1.3750 | 0.03638 | 264 | 182 | 66 | 16 |
473 | Our new employee comes from the White House .... and they call us monsters?! | 1.3750 | 0.03978 | 264 | 189 | 51 | 24 |
474 | Yes, we ARE feeling alienated. | 1.3750 | 0.03755 | 264 | 183 | 63 | 18 |
475 | Yes, Karen, HR has advised our new hire about your preferred pronoun, "it". | 1.3745 | 0.03979 | 235 | 163 | 56 | 16 |
476 | We found him in Area 51. | 1.3740 | 0.03635 | 262 | 183 | 61 | 17 |
477 | Two arms? Sorry -- they meet across the hall. | 1.3740 | 0.03812 | 262 | 183 | 60 | 19 |
478 | He’s scary looking, but I think he’ll fit in here. | 1.3740 | 0.03734 | 262 | 181 | 64 | 17 |
479 | That's not his skin. It's the wrapper. | 1.3740 | 0.03695 | 262 | 180 | 66 | 16 |
480 | Who's game for a little white meat? | 1.3740 | 0.03734 | 262 | 181 | 64 | 17 |
481 | That's correct. He doesn't speak our language and what's more, he has no idea it's 'eat a lawyer' day. | 1.3740 | 0.03734 | 262 | 181 | 64 | 17 |
482 | Our guest will discuss the pros and cons of clothing. | 1.3739 | 0.04130 | 230 | 162 | 50 | 18 |
483 | Ok everyone, introduce yourselves to the newcomer by saying your name, your planet of origin, and uh a fun fact. | 1.3731 | 0.03752 | 260 | 180 | 63 | 17 |
484 | He's our affirmative action hire." | 1.3731 | 0.03712 | 260 | 179 | 65 | 16 |
485 | The massaged and beer fed human comes fully dressed. | 1.3731 | 0.03945 | 260 | 185 | 53 | 22 |
486 | Say hello to Brian. This is his first meat and greet. | 1.3728 | 0.04246 | 228 | 163 | 45 | 20 |
487 | Ted here is our new VP of Human Resources | 1.3721 | 0.03850 | 258 | 181 | 58 | 19 |
488 | He’s what they call a ‘Human Resource’. | 1.3721 | 0.03928 | 258 | 183 | 54 | 21 |
489 | Maybe we just need to think inside the box? | 1.3721 | 0.03966 | 258 | 184 | 52 | 22 |
490 | And winner of the "Despicable Monster of the Year" award goes once again to. . . Homo Sapiens. | 1.3721 | 0.04188 | 258 | 192 | 37 | 29 |
491 | ...and his parents worked at our Chernobyl plant! | 1.3711 | 0.03451 | 256 | 177 | 66 | 13 |
492 | And now, our guest speaker, discussing "Are we alone in the universe?" | 1.3711 | 0.03749 | 256 | 177 | 63 | 16 |
493 | Welcome to the monthly meeting of the Odd Fellows | 1.3705 | 0.04107 | 224 | 157 | 51 | 16 |
494 | Congratulations. The job is yours, you’re also the only applicant we decided not to eat! | 1.3701 | 0.03849 | 254 | 178 | 58 | 18 |
495 | All in favor of striking evolution from the textbooks, say “I”. | 1.3701 | 0.04046 | 254 | 183 | 48 | 23 |
496 | Who ordered out? | 1.3701 | 0.03555 | 254 | 171 | 72 | 11 |
497 | Jim here is new to the planet.... so let's give him a big warm welcome. | 1.3700 | 0.03922 | 227 | 156 | 58 | 13 |
498 | Did we get rid of your hiccups? | 1.3700 | 0.03770 | 227 | 153 | 64 | 10 |
499 | So we’re all in agreement. We stay out of Dave’s nightmares until next Tuesday. | 1.3696 | 0.03696 | 257 | 177 | 65 | 15 |
500 | I know we're all monsters, but who invited the lawyer? | 1.3690 | 0.04107 | 252 | 183 | 45 | 24 |
501 | all those in favor of telling ralph he is tripping, raise your claws. | 1.3686 | 0.03916 | 255 | 181 | 54 | 19 |
502 | I assure you, what he's done in the corporate world, more than qualifies him for our club. | 1.3680 | 0.03889 | 250 | 176 | 56 | 18 |
503 | I would like to introduce Fred from our non-GMO product line. | 1.3680 | 0.03930 | 250 | 177 | 54 | 19 |
504 | It's probably better if Bob speaks to the media. | 1.3680 | 0.03889 | 250 | 176 | 56 | 17 |
505 | Legal says that we have to start wearing clothes. | 1.3680 | 0.03497 | 250 | 167 | 74 | 9 |
506 | Gentlemen, lunch is here. | 1.3676 | 0.03690 | 253 | 176 | 62 | 15 |
507 | Then it's unanimous! Tom had this Halloween's scariest costume. | 1.3676 | 0.03732 | 253 | 175 | 63 | 15 |
508 | Bob is our most recent diversity hire so please don’t eat him. | 1.3669 | 0.03825 | 248 | 173 | 59 | 16 |
509 | Jerry is our new diversity hire, and, as usual, he'll stay for lunch. | 1.3669 | 0.03909 | 248 | 175 | 55 | 18 |
510 | Please welcome our new Chief Diversity Officer. | 1.3669 | 0.03867 | 248 | 174 | 57 | 17 |
511 | Jim is our new diversity inclusion team member--welcome him but please do not sniff, bite or probe him. | 1.3669 | 0.03951 | 248 | 176 | 53 | 19 |
512 | Well, I just don't see him fitting into the work group. | 1.3667 | 0.04953 | 150 | 105 | 35 | 10 |
513 | The vote is unanimous -- Student Loan Collector wins monster of the millennium. | 1.3665 | 0.04881 | 161 | 114 | 35 | 12 |
514 | Say hi to Ted, our diversity hire. | 1.3659 | 0.03844 | 246 | 172 | 58 | 16 |
515 | I'd like you to join me in welcoming our new Diversity Program Manager. | 1.3659 | 0.03757 | 246 | 170 | 62 | 14 |
516 | I've brought us a Republican. Who's eaten one before? | 1.3659 | 0.03844 | 246 | 172 | 58 | 16 |
517 | When they said corporate was a room full of monsters, I didn't expect this. | 1.3659 | 0.03844 | 246 | 172 | 58 | 16 |
518 | You can all sleep soundly, now - the gentleman here has assured me that there are no children hiding in your closets | 1.3659 | 0.04175 | 246 | 180 | 42 | 24 |
519 | He's our diversity candidate | 1.3659 | 0.03887 | 246 | 173 | 56 | 17 |
520 | Ron is our new head of diversity. | 1.3655 | 0.03726 | 249 | 172 | 63 | 14 |
521 | Ted is so creepy looking... wait, he's right behind me, isn't he. This is so embarrassing. | 1.3648 | 0.03908 | 244 | 172 | 55 | 17 |
522 | There were some unforeseen side effects from our new medication. | 1.3648 | 0.03864 | 244 | 171 | 57 | 16 |
523 | he's ugly but he's a darn good accountant | 1.3648 | 0.03951 | 244 | 173 | 53 | 18 |
524 | Now that we're all here, let's discuss climate change. | 1.3641 | 0.04239 | 217 | 155 | 45 | 17 |
525 | Lunch has arrived. | 1.3636 | 0.03928 | 242 | 171 | 54 | 17 |
526 | Stop treating him like a monster, he's just an accountant! | 1.3636 | 0.03840 | 242 | 169 | 58 | 15 |
527 | We're all monster's here Mr. Lauer, you'll fit right in | 1.3636 | 0.04057 | 242 | 174 | 48 | 20 |
528 | This is our new manicurist. | 1.3636 | 0.04409 | 198 | 141 | 42 | 15 |
529 | As the only carnivore at the table, I know why I am smiling , but why is he? | 1.3636 | 0.04057 | 242 | 174 | 48 | 20 |
530 | This was not what Brad had pictured when he decided he must meet his demons. | 1.3636 | 0.04223 | 242 | 178 | 40 | 24 |
531 | I’d say we have some very fine creatures on both sides! | 1.3636 | 0.04015 | 242 | 173 | 50 | 19 |
532 | Guys,I thought you should meet Fred. He's the man behind the dream we're in right now. | 1.3636 | 0.03840 | 242 | 169 | 58 | 15 |
533 | OK. Let's vote. Who is for evolution? | 1.3636 | 0.03884 | 242 | 170 | 56 | 16 |
534 | Whatever you do, don't mention his oupee-tay! | 1.3636 | 0.04580 | 198 | 144 | 36 | 18 |
535 | Believe me, when you see what this guy's managed to do with his innocent demeanor, you'll agree that he's the perfect addition to our board. | 1.3636 | 0.04099 | 242 | 175 | 46 | 21 |
536 | Now a warm welcome to Paul, our Human Relations consultant. | 1.3636 | 0.03840 | 242 | 169 | 58 | 15 |
537 | Lunch is here. Who ordered the suit? | 1.3636 | 0.04015 | 242 | 173 | 50 | 19 |
538 | This is Noah, who wants to take each of you, with your partner, on a cruise. | 1.3632 | 0.04150 | 212 | 149 | 49 | 14 |
539 | This is what they look like on planet Earth | 1.3628 | 0.04056 | 215 | 150 | 52 | 13 |
540 | He can stay. He’s a VP at Monsanto. | 1.3628 | 0.04366 | 215 | 156 | 40 | 19 |
541 | And they think global warming is not a real thing.... | 1.3628 | 0.04464 | 215 | 158 | 36 | 21 |
542 | All in favor of letting Chuck go extinct say 'Aye.' | 1.3628 | 0.04265 | 215 | 154 | 43 | 17 |
543 | I guess Carl didn’t get the naked Friday memo. | 1.3628 | 0.04366 | 215 | 156 | 40 | 19 |
544 | You can dress these “humans” up but I’m not convinced that they will ever be civilised! | 1.3625 | 0.03949 | 240 | 170 | 53 | 17 |
545 | Everyone, meet our newest member of the Astronomical Legion of Intergalactic Entities and Nations (ALIEN). Don’t worry, he may not seem qualified, but he’s part of the greediest and most brutal species I‘ve ever come across. | 1.3625 | 0.04164 | 240 | 175 | 42 | 22 |
546 | Cabinet meeting at 1600 Pennsylvania Ave, 2019. | 1.3625 | 0.04122 | 240 | 174 | 45 | 21 |
547 | Your seats are safe. He's unaware of our grass ceiling. | 1.3625 | 0.03993 | 240 | 171 | 51 | 18 |
548 | Ned, why don't you tell the gang a little about yourself - where ya' from, where'd you go to school, how many planets you've visited -that sort of thing. | 1.3619 | 0.03950 | 210 | 144 | 56 | 10 |
549 | This is Mark. He is going to talk to us today about what makes each of us unique and how that benefits the company. | 1.3615 | 0.04134 | 213 | 150 | 49 | 14 |
550 | Guess who didn't get the memo? | 1.3615 | 0.04134 | 213 | 150 | 49 | 14 |
551 | He doesn't bite. | 1.3615 | 0.04025 | 213 | 148 | 53 | 12 |
552 | Humans deserve a seat at the table? You're kidding me. | 1.3615 | 0.04134 | 213 | 150 | 49 | 14 |
553 | It tastes better than it looks. | 1.3615 | 0.03970 | 213 | 147 | 55 | 11 |
554 | So together I think we've got a pretty good case against Hieronymus Bosch | 1.3615 | 0.04080 | 213 | 149 | 51 | 13 |
555 | We really wish we could support you, Mayor Pete, but sorry, it’s just that whole g-a-y thing. | 1.3615 | 0.04591 | 213 | 159 | 31 | 23 |
556 | All in favor of eating the IT guy... | 1.3615 | 0.04444 | 213 | 156 | 37 | 20 |
557 | All those in favor say urgzwkpx. | 1.3615 | 0.04343 | 213 | 154 | 41 | 18 |
558 | We can use a little warm blood on this committee. | 1.3615 | 0.04240 | 213 | 152 | 45 | 16 |
559 | Here's our new undocumented alien. | 1.3615 | 0.04444 | 213 | 156 | 37 | 20 |
560 | Is it housebroken? | 1.3615 | 0.04187 | 213 | 151 | 47 | 15 |
561 | Apparently, in the remote future, one of us will evolve into that monster. | 1.3615 | 0.04240 | 213 | 152 | 45 | 16 |
562 | No, he’s no monster, but he’s a lawyer and that’s scary enough... | 1.3615 | 0.04025 | 213 | 151 | 49 | 13 |
563 | I'd like you all to meet Bob our new director of human resources. | 1.3615 | 0.03914 | 213 | 146 | 57 | 10 |
564 | I suppose I should address the 180-pound homosapien in the room. | 1.3615 | 0.04343 | 213 | 154 | 41 | 18 |
565 | So we all agree this Noah character is a crackpot. | 1.3613 | 0.03834 | 238 | 166 | 58 | 14 |
566 | Please welcome Simon, our token male board member. | 1.3613 | 0.03834 | 238 | 166 | 58 | 14 |
567 | For the last time Scott, the Halloween party is tomorrow. | 1.3613 | 0.04059 | 238 | 171 | 48 | 19 |
568 | The Thanksgiving special this year is a farm raised stuffed human. | 1.3613 | 0.03926 | 238 | 168 | 54 | 16 |
569 | This is Bob. He also hides under children's beds... | 1.3613 | 0.03971 | 238 | 169 | 52 | 17 |
570 | Can we take a minute a talk about the human in the room? | 1.3602 | 0.03854 | 236 | 165 | 57 | 14 |
571 | Tell the judge we have a unanimous verdict. We just ate those who disagreed. | 1.3602 | 0.04169 | 236 | 172 | 43 | 21 |
572 | We're all about diversity as long as the reptiles are in charge. | 1.3602 | 0.04169 | 236 | 172 | 43 | 21 |
573 | Please welcome Carl, our new Human Resources Director. | 1.3602 | 0.03662 | 236 | 161 | 65 | 10 |
574 | You must admit “no nudity” is a pretty flexible dress code. | 1.3602 | 0.03854 | 236 | 168 | 54 | 14 |
575 | You may he wondering why we abducted you: we need you to teach us how you make thin crust pizza. | 1.3600 | 0.05031 | 150 | 107 | 32 | 11 |
576 | Are you out of your mind? We are not using chopsticks. | 1.3596 | 0.05727 | 114 | 81 | 25 | 8 |
577 | Meet Ted, our new head of Human Resources | 1.3592 | 0.05031 | 142 | 100 | 33 | 9 |
578 | You’d be surprised how many want to leave their planet. | 1.3590 | 0.04104 | 234 | 169 | 46 | 19 |
579 | Ok, Dave, we can stay out from under Susie's bed. But the closet is fair game. | 1.3590 | 0.04059 | 234 | 168 | 48 | 18 |
580 | And please welcome Ralph, our new head of corporate diversity | 1.3586 | 0.03841 | 237 | 166 | 57 | 14 |
581 | I’m here for diversity training. | 1.3586 | 0.03841 | 237 | 166 | 57 | 14 |
582 | Bob is our human resource | 1.3578 | 0.04195 | 204 | 144 | 47 | 13 |
583 | And now, it's time for lunch. Everyone, meet Frank. | 1.3578 | 0.04082 | 232 | 167 | 47 | 18 |
584 | I knew dropping acid before Thanksgiving dinner would be a good idea. | 1.3578 | 0.04173 | 232 | 169 | 43 | 20 |
585 | So it's agreed, we keep the Endangered Species Act. | 1.3578 | 0.03943 | 232 | 164 | 53 | 15 |
586 | Let's give a big Galactic Extinction Club welcome to our newest member, Homo Sapiens. | 1.3578 | 0.04082 | 232 | 167 | 47 | 18 |
587 | I'd be willing to bet only one of us has already had coffee. | 1.3578 | 0.03798 | 232 | 161 | 59 | 12 |
588 | Bob will be our public face. | 1.3578 | 0.03847 | 232 | 172 | 41 | 19 |
589 | Well, it looks like our lunch has arrived. | 1.3578 | 0.04036 | 232 | 166 | 49 | 17 |
590 | Don't let his looks fool you. His entitlement is terrifying. | 1.3574 | 0.03908 | 235 | 166 | 54 | 15 |
591 | All in favor, raise an appendage. | 1.3568 | 0.04205 | 199 | 140 | 47 | 12 |
592 | Try to remember, you all started out just like him. | 1.3565 | 0.03867 | 230 | 161 | 56 | 13 |
593 | Can someone explain why Bob is the only one of you dressed for Halloween? | 1.3565 | 0.04105 | 230 | 166 | 46 | 18 |
594 | Lunch is here. Hope you don't mind white meat. | 1.3565 | 0.03867 | 230 | 161 | 56 | 13 |
595 | In light of recent events, Bob will be the new face of the company. | 1.3565 | 0.03916 | 230 | 162 | 54 | 14 |
596 | So Harry's the only one who got dressed up for Hallowe'en! | 1.3565 | 0.03867 | 230 | 161 | 56 | 13 |
597 | As you all know, Best Costume gets to park closest to the building for all of November. Pete, tell 'em who the winner is! | 1.3565 | 0.03867 | 230 | 161 | 56 | 13 |
598 | The defendant thinks we are not a jury of his peers. | 1.3565 | 0.04151 | 230 | 167 | 44 | 19 |
599 | Please stop your drooling. That's not what 'Human Resources' means. | 1.3565 | 0.04059 | 230 | 165 | 48 | 17 |
600 | Ted here is going to help us rebrand our childhood terror company as a market leader in soul-crushing tedium for adults. | 1.3565 | 0.04242 | 230 | 169 | 40 | 21 |
601 | Lunch has arrived. He's a stand-up comedian so he might taste a little funny. | 1.3565 | 0.04105 | 230 | 166 | 46 | 18 |
602 | This baker wants to use our likenesses in crackers. Are we okay with that? | 1.3553 | 0.03631 | 228 | 155 | 65 | 8 |
603 | Oh, come on guys. He won't bite. | 1.3553 | 0.03787 | 228 | 158 | 59 | 11 |
604 | And now, offering the Democratic Response... | 1.3553 | 0.04082 | 228 | 164 | 47 | 17 |
605 | I see our lunch has arrived. | 1.3553 | 0.03986 | 228 | 162 | 51 | 15 |
606 | Gentlemen, meet your worst nightmare! | 1.3553 | 0.04082 | 228 | 164 | 47 | 17 |
607 | HR says we have to install a gender neutral bathroom | 1.3553 | 0.03937 | 228 | 161 | 53 | 14 |
608 | This is Bob from Accounting. | 1.3553 | 0.03937 | 228 | 161 | 53 | 14 |
609 | With the addition of Bob to the Board we achieve diversity ! | 1.3553 | 0.04082 | 228 | 164 | 47 | 17 |
610 | No worries. He's housebroken. | 1.3553 | 0.03888 | 228 | 160 | 55 | 13 |
611 | Please welcome our diversity hire. | 1.3550 | 0.03754 | 231 | 160 | 60 | 11 |
612 | Our guest speaker today is a recruiter with Amazon. | 1.3540 | 0.04105 | 226 | 163 | 46 | 17 |
613 | It’s unanimous. No more GMO food. | 1.3540 | 0.03959 | 226 | 160 | 52 | 14 |
614 | Branding says we needed to retool the Republican predator look.” | 1.3540 | 0.03858 | 226 | 158 | 56 | 12 |
615 | This time we’ll be cutting back on the GMO‘s. Right? | 1.3540 | 0.04292 | 226 | 167 | 38 | 21 |
616 | Our presentation topic: "How to Dress for Success". | 1.3540 | 0.04008 | 226 | 161 | 50 | 15 |
617 | Bob comes to us from Wall Street and is going to show us how the pros execute a hostile takeover. | 1.3540 | 0.04152 | 226 | 164 | 44 | 18 |
618 | Everybody, say hi to Ted. Fun fact, Ted joins us from the Earth office, which was recently destroyed by climate change." | 1.3527 | 0.04224 | 224 | 164 | 41 | 19 |
619 | Welcome to our annual diversity training session. | 1.3527 | 0.04080 | 224 | 161 | 47 | 16 |
620 | Who's the suit? | 1.3527 | 0.03980 | 224 | 159 | 51 | 14 |
621 | Guys, it's cool—he's a Trump appointee. | 1.3527 | 0.04271 | 224 | 165 | 39 | 20 |
622 | Team, our bottom line needs help. I’d like you to welcome Smedley; he's more reptilian that all of us put together! | 1.3527 | 0.03720 | 224 | 167 | 39 | 14 |
623 | 10 minutes late Carl! And I don’’t want to hear the “millions of light years commute” excuse again. | 1.3527 | 0.04128 | 224 | 162 | 45 | 17 |
624 | Let's all welcome Rudy | 1.3527 | 0.04224 | 224 | 164 | 41 | 19 |
625 | As she gets older, we'll be casting him progressively more in her nightmares. | 1.3527 | 0.04177 | 224 | 163 | 43 | 18 |
626 | My apologies, I’m taking him to the vet at lunch. | 1.3516 | 0.05272 | 128 | 91 | 29 | 8 |
627 | Say hello to Matt, our new diversity hire. | 1.3514 | 0.03899 | 222 | 156 | 54 | 12 |
628 | Yes David is deaf but he can read lips so I don't want anyone to say,a-d-o-p-t-e-d. | 1.3514 | 0.04002 | 222 | 160 | 47 | 15 |
629 | With the hiring of Sam here, we’ve met our minority quota. | 1.3514 | 0.04053 | 222 | 159 | 48 | 15 |
630 | I’ve gathered a representative from each planet to discuss Earth’s threat to the solar system. | 1.3514 | 0.04391 | 222 | 166 | 34 | 22 |
631 | Meet Clarence, our new Diversity Coordinator. | 1.3514 | 0.03899 | 222 | 156 | 54 | 12 |
632 | Forget intelligent life. He should try searching for a better tie. | 1.3512 | 0.04558 | 168 | 121 | 36 | 11 |
633 | HR is here to talk about workplace hygiene again. | 1.3505 | 0.04451 | 194 | 141 | 38 | 15 |
634 | So...you forgot to fight climate change, huh? | 1.3503 | 0.04750 | 177 | 130 | 32 | 15 |
635 | We can't be scarier than the last administration! | 1.3500 | 0.04127 | 220 | 159 | 45 | 16 |
636 | This is Jim. He’s one of the survivors of the “hostile takeover”. | 1.3500 | 0.03703 | 220 | 151 | 61 | 8 |
637 | Looks like Steve is the only one who remembered the company costume party. | 1.3500 | 0.03920 | 220 | 155 | 53 | 12 |
638 | Remember, don't judge a life form by its cover. | 1.3500 | 0.04025 | 220 | 157 | 49 | 14 |
639 | Mr. Sendak, you're late again! | 1.3500 | 0.04076 | 220 | 158 | 47 | 15 |
640 | Ok, lunch is here. Who ordered an “Ed”? | 1.3500 | 0.04076 | 220 | 158 | 47 | 15 |
641 | I expected him to look more like Sigourney Weaver. | 1.3500 | 0.04226 | 220 | 161 | 41 | 18 |
642 | And Mark here will be helping us with new our diversity initiative. | 1.3498 | 0.04038 | 223 | 160 | 48 | 15 |
643 | Not to belabor the obvious, but we found Jeff on Monster.com. | 1.3498 | 0.03988 | 223 | 159 | 50 | 14 |
644 | The Committee on Climate Change has come to order. | 1.3486 | 0.04151 | 218 | 158 | 44 | 16 |
645 | Everyone, welcome Joe. He’s our diversity hire. | 1.3486 | 0.04100 | 218 | 157 | 46 | 15 |
646 | Our guest requests his species' admission to the extinction society. | 1.3486 | 0.04398 | 218 | 163 | 34 | 21 |
647 | Lunch break. | 1.3486 | 0.04151 | 218 | 158 | 44 | 16 |
648 | He's not our waiter. He's our dinner. | 1.3486 | 0.03942 | 218 | 154 | 52 | 12 |
649 | HR said we have to include one of the humans. | 1.3486 | 0.03778 | 218 | 151 | 58 | 9 |
650 | ... all in favor of putting a white man on the board for the "sake" of diversity... | 1.3486 | 0.04201 | 218 | 159 | 42 | 17 |
651 | Shall we address the elephant in the room? | 1.3486 | 0.04100 | 218 | 157 | 46 | 15 |
652 | No, Barney is not the appetizer, he is here to take your lunch orders. | 1.3486 | 0.03995 | 218 | 155 | 50 | 13 |
653 | After working here a while you'll fit right in. | 1.3486 | 0.03833 | 218 | 152 | 56 | 10 |
654 | Smith here says that the last batch of LSD we produced somehow got into the ventilation system. | 1.3486 | 0.04100 | 218 | 157 | 46 | 15 |
655 | Don't treat him any differently. | 1.3484 | 0.04061 | 221 | 159 | 47 | 15 |
656 | Everybody say ‘Hello’ to Steve, our new intern. He’s a failed experiment. | 1.3484 | 0.03958 | 221 | 157 | 51 | 13 |
657 | We're sorry we have to let you go, Bob. It just feels like your conservative ways are a little too alien for us. | 1.3474 | 0.04511 | 190 | 139 | 36 | 15 |
658 | ¡Ω≈∂ß´œ§ªº;ñÇx! | 1.3472 | 0.04277 | 216 | 159 | 39 | 18 |
659 | Congratulations on hitting our diversity goal. | 1.3472 | 0.04018 | 216 | 154 | 49 | 13 |
660 | Please don’t eat the Intern. | 1.3470 | 0.04032 | 219 | 157 | 48 | 14 |
661 | My pronouns are ytr, zfff, and glorg. | 1.3470 | 0.04284 | 219 | 162 | 38 | 19 |
662 | I want to introduce Ed, who will be starting up our diversity initiative. | 1.3470 | 0.04032 | 219 | 157 | 48 | 14 |
663 | Oh, good. Here’s Ned from accounting. Let’s pick his brain. | 1.3470 | 0.04084 | 219 | 158 | 46 | 15 |
664 | Don't let his looks frighten you: he's a genius with accounts. | 1.3470 | 0.03593 | 219 | 153 | 57 | 8 |
665 | I've decided to bring someone in who can think outside the box. | 1.3470 | 0.03927 | 219 | 155 | 52 | 12 |
666 | As requested, Derek from HR is attending to hear our perspective on the corporation's use of preferred pronouns. | 1.3469 | 0.05998 | 98 | 70 | 22 | 6 |
667 | Our new CEO is a loner, lives with his mother, and best of all, he's from Florida. | 1.3466 | 0.04553 | 176 | 127 | 37 | 12 |
668 | So I'm guessing I may not be the only one here who experimented with the Crispr DIY gene editing kit over the weekend. | 1.3459 | 0.04783 | 185 | 139 | 28 | 18 |
669 | Can you believe it?I found him on the street with no name tag or anything. House trained, too! | 1.3459 | 0.04658 | 185 | 137 | 32 | 16 |
670 | Hey, everyone, dinner is here! | 1.3458 | 0.04148 | 214 | 155 | 44 | 15 |
671 | Per our new non-discriminating policy, I would like you all to give a warm welcome to our newest recruit, Max. | 1.3458 | 0.03986 | 214 | 152 | 50 | 12 |
672 | Finally someone to take our Starbucks order. | 1.3458 | 0.03817 | 214 | 149 | 56 | 9 |
673 | This is Non-Human Resources, pal. Try next door. | 1.3458 | 0.04094 | 214 | 154 | 46 | 14 |
674 | I thought we ordered collared greens not white collar | 1.3458 | 0.04454 | 214 | 161 | 32 | 21 |
675 | Really guys... how are there no women in the diversity discussion meeting? | 1.3457 | 0.04542 | 188 | 138 | 35 | 15 |
676 | It was a diversity hire | 1.3456 | 0.03949 | 217 | 154 | 51 | 12 |
677 | Please welcome our newest diversity hire. | 1.3456 | 0.03839 | 217 | 152 | 55 | 10 |
678 | This creature can destroy worlds with baseless lawsuits! | 1.3456 | 0.04107 | 217 | 157 | 45 | 15 |
679 | White House Cabinet Meeting | 1.3456 | 0.04260 | 217 | 160 | 39 | 18 |
680 | I'd like to introduce to you the biggest monster of them all... Bill from Telemarketing. | 1.3456 | 0.04210 | 217 | 159 | 41 | 17 |
681 | «That’s the most utterly horrifying Halloween costume we’ve ever seen, Joe.» | 1.3456 | 0.04055 | 217 | 156 | 47 | 14 |
682 | Who ordered the Millennial hold the mayo ? | 1.3456 | 0.04210 | 217 | 159 | 41 | 17 |
683 | This is the creature I told you about who came here to dig up dirt on something called Biden. | 1.3456 | 0.04107 | 217 | 157 | 45 | 15 |
684 | Do I really need to remind you that monsters come in all shapes? | 1.3456 | 0.03839 | 217 | 152 | 55 | 10 |
685 | Marvin, please tell the board what makes you unique to handle our campaign. | 1.3445 | 0.04159 | 209 | 151 | 44 | 14 |
686 | Fred knew he was going to have to get more cold-blooded to fit in at the board room. | 1.3445 | 0.04103 | 209 | 150 | 46 | 13 |
687 | I don't care how advanced their civilization is, they're just weird looking! | 1.3445 | 0.04103 | 209 | 150 | 46 | 13 |
688 | And now I'd like to introduce Harold, the guy who's having this dream.... | 1.3445 | 0.04268 | 209 | 153 | 40 | 16 |
689 | What a find for the museum! A pre-Climate -Change Humanoid dating all the way back to 2070! | 1.3445 | 0.04427 | 209 | 156 | 34 | 19 |
690 | Let's go around the table and introduce ourselves and which famous person's bed is the worst to hide under. | 1.3445 | 0.04214 | 209 | 152 | 42 | 15 |
691 | Can I have a show of talons for ice water with lemon? | 1.3445 | 0.03873 | 209 | 146 | 54 | 9 |
692 | Remember he's our front man, so no one eats him. | 1.3445 | 0.03990 | 209 | 148 | 50 | 11 |
693 | I thought we agreed on a vegetarian lunch. | 1.3443 | 0.04118 | 212 | 153 | 45 | 14 |
694 | On the advice of our lawyers, we've decided to add a diversity hire. Everyone, meet Steve. | 1.3442 | 0.03970 | 215 | 153 | 50 | 12 |
695 | We’ll break a little early since lunch has arrived. | 1.3442 | 0.04025 | 215 | 154 | 48 | 13 |
696 | Listen, I'm sure you've all heard about diversity in the work place. | 1.3442 | 0.03859 | 215 | 151 | 54 | 10 |
697 | Welcome to 2020's first meeting of the Trump cabinet! | 1.3442 | 0.04235 | 215 | 158 | 40 | 17 |
698 | We have our fall guy. Now all we need is a murky scam. | 1.3441 | 0.04445 | 186 | 135 | 38 | 13 |
699 | Gentlemen, this is Norm - I’m thinking he should be the ‘face’ for our Corporate Diversity Campaign... | 1.3441 | 0.04445 | 186 | 135 | 38 | 13 |
700 | We’ve nearly met our annual diversity quotas. | 1.3441 | 0.04699 | 186 | 139 | 30 | 17 |
701 | Don't worry, he's harmless. | 1.3441 | 0.04510 | 186 | 136 | 36 | 14 |
702 | Chris stood awkwardly, cursing himself as he realised the members of the galactic alliance never dress up for Halloween. | 1.3441 | 0.04244 | 186 | 132 | 44 | 10 |
703 | I’d like to introduce you to our 2020 nominee and new face of our party. | 1.3441 | 0.04175 | 186 | 131 | 46 | 9 |
704 | So HOW much are we suing Disney for? | 1.3441 | 0.04510 | 186 | 136 | 36 | 14 |
705 | Today team we will hear from a former Trump adviser on being scary. | 1.3441 | 0.04445 | 186 | 135 | 38 | 13 |
706 | No, he’ll GET lunch. | 1.3441 | 0.04312 | 186 | 133 | 42 | 11 |
707 | Alright, let's break for now--lunch is here. | 1.3441 | 0.04574 | 186 | 137 | 34 | 15 |
708 | This is Henry, our new diversity hire. | 1.3439 | 0.04926 | 157 | 115 | 30 | 12 |
709 | I'm sorry you're being replaced, Klorg. The human has some excellent ideas about how to destroy a planet. | 1.3434 | 0.05035 | 166 | 125 | 25 | 16 |
710 | Let me present to you tonight's entree. | 1.3430 | 0.04240 | 207 | 151 | 41 | 15 |
711 | He says that the Russians will provide financing, but we’ll have to pay a franchise fee for the Trump name. | 1.3430 | 0.04240 | 207 | 151 | 41 | 15 |
712 | Don't be put off by the non-threatening appearance; he's one of the most efficient world-destroyers ever | 1.3430 | 0.04070 | 207 | 148 | 47 | 12 |
713 | I realize this human does not bring much to the party, but we are under pressure to diversify. | 1.3430 | 0.04240 | 207 | 151 | 41 | 15 |
714 | He's right. We need to outsource past just closets and under beds. | 1.3430 | 0.04070 | 207 | 148 | 47 | 12 |
715 | We’ll open our meeting by going around the table and telling our Supreme Leader how perfect he is. | 1.3430 | 0.04295 | 207 | 152 | 39 | 16 |
716 | Trust me. He may look respectable, but he’s a slimy, coldblooded, ruthless scumbag just like us. | 1.3430 | 0.04128 | 207 | 150 | 42 | 14 |
717 | I'd like to introduce a true monster, our Legal Counsel. | 1.3415 | 0.04094 | 205 | 147 | 46 | 12 |
718 | And now, what you've all been waiting for: the results of our gene-transformation program. | 1.3415 | 0.03976 | 205 | 145 | 50 | 10 |
719 | I see one of us is in the Halloween spirit. | 1.3415 | 0.04431 | 205 | 153 | 34 | 18 |
720 | Well.....It's not an Elephant, but it's in the room. | 1.3415 | 0.04266 | 205 | 150 | 40 | 15 |
721 | Look at it as an opportunity to practice tolerance. | 1.3415 | 0.04209 | 205 | 149 | 42 | 14 |
722 | While it’s true he resembles a sick pickle, it’s still harassment to post on break room bulletin board. | 1.3413 | 0.04476 | 167 | 119 | 39 | 9 |
723 | Meet our new dermatologist. | 1.3399 | 0.04118 | 203 | 146 | 45 | 12 |
724 | I assure you our expansionist policies will not take us beyond Mars. | 1.3399 | 0.04235 | 203 | 148 | 41 | 14 |
725 | Guys, please welcome Harvey Weinstein. Trust me, he's scarier than all of us combined. | 1.3399 | 0.04404 | 203 | 151 | 35 | 17 |
726 | I guess you've all heard by now immigration is a huge problem ? | 1.3399 | 0.04292 | 203 | 149 | 39 | 15 |
727 | Here's Phil the Product Manager to demonstrate our new offering: 'pants.'" | 1.3399 | 0.04059 | 203 | 145 | 47 | 11 |
728 | Why the long faces? | 1.3399 | 0.04177 | 203 | 147 | 43 | 13 |
729 | Who invited accounting? | 1.3399 | 0.04118 | 203 | 146 | 45 | 12 |
730 | Okay, can we address the human in the room? | 1.3399 | 0.04292 | 203 | 149 | 39 | 15 |
731 | - A democrat walks in a room... "oh boy, here we go..." | 1.3399 | 0.03998 | 203 | 144 | 49 | 10 |
732 | I know he's not a slimy forked-tongued monster that's slithered from mud but let's see if we can give Bob some support for his senate race anyway. | 1.3399 | 0.04177 | 203 | 147 | 43 | 13 |
733 | To revive the species, we will need to find a mate for him. | 1.3399 | 0.04514 | 203 | 153 | 31 | 19 |
734 | It's casual Friday, Bob. Didn't you get the memo? | 1.3399 | 0.04292 | 203 | 149 | 39 | 15 |
735 | The good news is you're all off the endangered list. | 1.3399 | 0.04177 | 203 | 147 | 43 | 13 |
736 | All for giving the funny looking animal a seat at the table say 'aye' | 1.3399 | 0.04059 | 203 | 145 | 47 | 11 |
737 | Guess who didn't get the memo about not doing Halloween costumes this year! | 1.3399 | 0.03937 | 203 | 143 | 51 | 9 |
738 | We had thought them extinct. | 1.3399 | 0.03998 | 203 | 144 | 49 | 9 |
739 | Jim hails from Harvard and tastes delicious on rye bread. | 1.3399 | 0.04292 | 203 | 149 | 39 | 15 |
740 | We’ve received reports of elevated radiation levels, but so far the tests have been inconclu...oh. | 1.3399 | 0.04292 | 203 | 149 | 39 | 15 |
741 | Thompson, here, may look human but underneath he's all monster. | 1.3383 | 0.04261 | 201 | 147 | 40 | 14 |
742 | Come on guys, tobacco executives are monsters too. | 1.3383 | 0.04021 | 201 | 143 | 48 | 10 |
743 | OK, Who wants the vegetarian option? | 1.3383 | 0.04261 | 201 | 147 | 40 | 14 |
744 | Let me introduce the average white guy. | 1.3383 | 0.04021 | 201 | 143 | 48 | 10 |
745 | Mr. Williams is here because the home office thinks we need diversity training. | 1.3383 | 0.03959 | 201 | 142 | 49 | 9 |
746 | Before we slither back to our desks, Henry from Legal will provide a refresher on our whistleblower policy. | 1.3383 | 0.04202 | 201 | 146 | 42 | 13 |
747 | Hey, anybody wanna listen to the white guy? | 1.3383 | 0.04143 | 201 | 145 | 44 | 12 |
748 | These side effects are unacceptable. | 1.3383 | 0.04143 | 201 | 148 | 40 | 13 |
749 | Just a reminder, team. Tomorrow is bring your pet to work day. | 1.3383 | 0.04082 | 201 | 144 | 46 | 11 |
750 | Steve found time to put together a Halloween costume. What are your excuses? | 1.3382 | 0.04042 | 204 | 146 | 47 | 11 |
751 | Everyone, this is Richard. Richard, would you like to wake up? | 1.3375 | 0.04766 | 160 | 117 | 32 | 11 |
752 | Night terrors, say hello to Benjamin. He’s an Ivy League legacy who doesn’t believe in climate change and he man-splains! | 1.3371 | 0.04553 | 175 | 128 | 35 | 12 |
753 | I told you that humans were not a legend ! | 1.3367 | 0.04228 | 199 | 145 | 41 | 13 |
754 | Still. . .the gift wrapping is a nice touch. | 1.3367 | 0.04106 | 199 | 143 | 45 | 11 |
755 | His wife swears he's a monster between the sheets. | 1.3367 | 0.04288 | 199 | 146 | 39 | 14 |
756 | The motion carries: Bob can join the board in 5,000 years provided he evolves. | 1.3367 | 0.04168 | 199 | 144 | 43 | 12 |
757 | Which one of you invited the freak? | 1.3367 | 0.04405 | 199 | 148 | 35 | 16 |
758 | Let's be clear. Mr. Brown is our dinner guest, not the dinner. | 1.3367 | 0.04106 | 199 | 143 | 45 | 11 |
759 | Remember: If you do not make eye contact, it can't hurt you. | 1.3367 | 0.04044 | 199 | 142 | 46 | 10 |
760 | So, you say you were the little boy! So, tell us... which one of us is Puff the Magic Dragon? | 1.3367 | 0.04228 | 199 | 145 | 41 | 13 |
761 | I agree, I couldn’t eat him either. It’s salads for lunch. | 1.3367 | 0.04106 | 199 | 143 | 45 | 11 |
762 | Don't get excited, my butler is a robot!" | 1.3367 | 0.04106 | 199 | 143 | 45 | 11 |
763 | Nothing to fear, folks: He's OUR accountant." | 1.3367 | 0.04168 | 199 | 144 | 43 | 12 |
764 | Let's give a warm welcome to William, our new Chief Diversity Officer. | 1.3367 | 0.03917 | 199 | 140 | 51 | 8 |
765 | Our general counsel is here to advise us that our diversity policy has gone too far. | 1.3367 | 0.04044 | 199 | 142 | 47 | 10 |
766 | We got him as the result of a quid pro bro. | 1.3367 | 0.04518 | 199 | 150 | 31 | 18 |
767 | I find that vegans are healthier and taste better too. | 1.3367 | 0.04462 | 199 | 149 | 33 | 17 |
768 | As part of a diversity outreach program, please welcome, Ken. He’s white, middle aged, and boring. | 1.3367 | 0.04044 | 199 | 142 | 47 | 10 |
769 | Separate checks I presume? | 1.3367 | 0.03981 | 199 | 141 | 49 | 9 |
770 | Ladies and gentlemen, this is Thomas. He is the sole surviving member of the human race. He was found clinging to the top of the Empire State Building at low tide. He is going to help us with our global cooling problem. | 1.3352 | 0.04547 | 179 | 132 | 34 | 13 |
771 | Welcome to your Intervention, Mark. | 1.3352 | 0.04547 | 179 | 132 | 34 | 13 |
772 | Let's ask an end user. | 1.3350 | 0.04374 | 197 | 146 | 36 | 15 |
773 | In the interests of diversity, I vote to include the uptight guy in the funny clothes. | 1.3350 | 0.03938 | 197 | 139 | 50 | 8 |
774 | ...and that’s why my planet is the best. | 1.3350 | 0.04193 | 197 | 143 | 42 | 12 |
775 | Please welcome Ted to our team and let's make him feel comfortable. | 1.3350 | 0.03872 | 197 | 141 | 48 | 8 |
776 | Ladies and gentlemen, I'm proud to introduce our new human resources officer. | 1.3350 | 0.04068 | 197 | 141 | 46 | 10 |
777 | Great, another diversity hire. | 1.3350 | 0.04254 | 197 | 144 | 40 | 13 |
778 | These ones are in stock and are just peel and eat. | 1.3350 | 0.04193 | 197 | 143 | 42 | 12 |
779 | Everyone, this is Steve. He'll be our working lunch today" | 1.3350 | 0.04254 | 197 | 144 | 40 | 13 |
780 | Raise your hand if you are undocumented. | 1.3350 | 0.04193 | 197 | 143 | 42 | 12 |
781 | He didn't drink the kool aid... | 1.3350 | 0.04089 | 200 | 144 | 45 | 11 |
782 | The investors say our Board needs more white men. | 1.3350 | 0.03965 | 200 | 142 | 49 | 9 |
783 | Everybody, this is lunch. Lunch, everybody. | 1.3333 | 0.04403 | 195 | 145 | 35 | 15 |
784 | Bob is our new director of nonhuman resources. | 1.3333 | 0.04027 | 195 | 139 | 47 | 9 |
785 | We’re sorry Ted, but we just don’t think this company needs a director of human resources. | 1.3333 | 0.04342 | 195 | 144 | 37 | 14 |
786 | I would like to introduce our new workplace therapy pet. | 1.3333 | 0.04521 | 168 | 122 | 36 | 10 |
787 | Pete from maintenance is here to buff the claw marks out of the table. | 1.3333 | 0.04027 | 195 | 139 | 47 | 9 |
788 | Everybody, please welcome Sam. Sam's here today to talk about workplace diversity. | 1.3333 | 0.05040 | 126 | 90 | 30 | 6 |
789 | So, I see, the President's cabinet has changed once again. | 1.3333 | 0.04156 | 195 | 143 | 39 | 12 |
790 | Another winner, Brad. But the costume party is tomorrow night. | 1.3333 | 0.04342 | 195 | 144 | 37 | 14 |
791 | Meet our new diversity officer. | 1.3333 | 0.04812 | 165 | 123 | 29 | 13 |
792 | I saw him using plastic straws. What a monster. | 1.3333 | 0.04826 | 168 | 126 | 28 | 14 |
793 | This is the type of monster we're marketing to. | 1.3333 | 0.04735 | 165 | 122 | 31 | 12 |
794 | Any ideas on how we can spin the side effects of our new cbd product? | 1.3333 | 0.04579 | 195 | 148 | 29 | 18 |
795 | Who wants to hear a racist joke? | 1.3333 | 0.04676 | 168 | 124 | 32 | 12 |
796 | He is on loan from the Smithsonian. | 1.3333 | 0.04219 | 195 | 142 | 41 | 12 |
797 | Look, diversity is important, but enough is enough. | 1.3333 | 0.04495 | 165 | 119 | 37 | 9 |
798 | Let’s table that discussion for now. I see lunch has arrived. | 1.3333 | 0.04156 | 195 | 141 | 43 | 11 |
799 | I present you with the future of evolution! | 1.3333 | 0.04027 | 195 | 139 | 47 | 9 |
800 | Should we put him on the board or on the menu? | 1.3333 | 0.04281 | 195 | 143 | 39 | 13 |
801 | There is always somebody that doesn’t read the memo!! | 1.3333 | 0.04219 | 195 | 142 | 41 | 12 |
802 | Psst! Check out the illegal alien! | 1.3333 | 0.04219 | 195 | 142 | 41 | 12 |
803 | Meet Ed, our new warm-blooded, opposable-thumbed representative! | 1.3333 | 0.04027 | 195 | 139 | 47 | 9 |
804 | In light of recent events, Bill will handle all future walk-in customers. | 1.3316 | 0.04245 | 193 | 141 | 40 | 12 |
805 | You said “dress up” for Halloween | 1.3316 | 0.04050 | 193 | 138 | 46 | 9 |
806 | Hi everybody. This is Stephen Miller and I think he'll really fit in here. | 1.3316 | 0.04370 | 193 | 143 | 36 | 14 |
807 | He's an accomplished attorney who's successfully defended many "under the bed" cases | 1.3316 | 0.04116 | 193 | 139 | 44 | 10 |
808 | I vote we eat him. | 1.3309 | 0.05011 | 136 | 99 | 29 | 8 |
809 | Bob is from Human Resources. | 1.3299 | 0.04163 | 194 | 141 | 42 | 11 |
810 | I am so proud to introduce 2019's "monster-of-the-year," a straight white male human. | 1.3299 | 0.04412 | 194 | 145 | 34 | 15 |
811 | OK, we all agree, he's a perfect fit for us. | 1.3299 | 0.04289 | 194 | 145 | 35 | 14 |
812 | Exqelbub, could you explain Casual Fridays to our new intern, Gene? | 1.3299 | 0.03829 | 194 | 136 | 52 | 6 |
813 | Nice costume, Steve. | 1.3299 | 0.04289 | 194 | 143 | 38 | 13 |
814 | And the scariest monster this week is Bob, our auditor. | 1.3299 | 0.04033 | 194 | 139 | 46 | 9 |
815 | Everyone, this is Malcom, our diversity candidate. | 1.3299 | 0.03687 | 194 | 145 | 38 | 9 |
816 | He may not look like much, but his greed is terrifying. | 1.3296 | 0.04466 | 179 | 132 | 35 | 12 |
817 | Under pressure from the P.C. crowd, I'm introducing our first human board member. Please don't eat him. | 1.3281 | 0.04056 | 192 | 138 | 45 | 9 |
818 | Be nice. It's the hors d'oeuvre. | 1.3281 | 0.04188 | 192 | 140 | 41 | 11 |
819 | Now, Jordan might not have what it takes "looks-wise" to hide out under anyone's bed, but when you hear what he's done in the private equity sector you're sure to agree he's a greater monster than any of us! | 1.3281 | 0.04379 | 192 | 143 | 35 | 14 |
820 | Harry here is willing to join our Board as a representative from the human race if we pass an amendment to not eat him. | 1.3281 | 0.04253 | 192 | 141 | 39 | 12 |
821 | We always look this way before coffee. | 1.3281 | 0.04188 | 192 | 140 | 41 | 11 |
822 | And the Republican senators continued to act as if there was nothing sordid about themselves and their colleagues. | 1.3281 | 0.04379 | 192 | 143 | 35 | 14 |
823 | They're called humans. Give it a chance, it's an acquired taste. | 1.3281 | 0.03988 | 192 | 137 | 47 | 8 |
824 | He's from Corporate. Anyone hungry? | 1.3281 | 0.04056 | 192 | 138 | 45 | 9 |
825 | I promised diversity | 1.3281 | 0.03919 | 192 | 136 | 49 | 7 |
826 | Trust me, he can be a real monster. | 1.3281 | 0.04441 | 192 | 144 | 33 | 15 |
827 | This is George. Isn't he cute? He's on the endangered species list. | 1.3280 | 0.04364 | 189 | 140 | 36 | 13 |
828 | I want you all to meet my son, and I know what you’re thinking. A chip off the old block. | 1.3280 | 0.04364 | 189 | 140 | 36 | 13 |
829 | Well, he’s who we invited for lunch and we can’t work on empty stomachs. | 1.3280 | 0.04428 | 189 | 141 | 34 | 14 |
830 | Dave, why are you the only one wearing clothes? | 1.3272 | 0.04620 | 162 | 119 | 33 | 10 |
831 | I'd like you to meet my son-in-law. | 1.3270 | 0.04846 | 159 | 119 | 28 | 12 |
832 | He's the exception that proves the rule. | 1.3270 | 0.04416 | 159 | 114 | 38 | 7 |
833 | Pull out another chair and restart the music. | 1.3267 | 0.04682 | 150 | 113 | 27 | 10 |
834 | He's not imaginary. He's real. | 1.3263 | 0.04214 | 190 | 139 | 40 | 11 |
835 | We abducted him from a Charles Addams cartoon. | 1.3263 | 0.04214 | 190 | 139 | 40 | 11 |
836 | "As part of our relentless quest for diversity, I now present Morty from Accounting." | 1.3263 | 0.04147 | 190 | 138 | 42 | 10 |
837 | Charles is going to lead us in a team-building exercise. | 1.3263 | 0.04214 | 190 | 139 | 40 | 11 |
838 | Good Morning, Mr. President. | 1.3263 | 0.04214 | 190 | 139 | 40 | 11 |
839 | Who wants a snack? | 1.3263 | 0.04080 | 190 | 137 | 44 | 9 |
840 | And now, I've asked Jeffrey from HR to talk to us about improving diversity in our workforce. | 1.3262 | 0.04259 | 187 | 137 | 39 | 11 |
841 | Personally I’m glad they drained the swamp, this is much nicer meeting place. | 1.3262 | 0.04326 | 187 | 138 | 37 | 12 |
842 | He used to work for the Donald. He said he thought this would be a more pleasant work environment. | 1.3262 | 0.04584 | 187 | 142 | 29 | 16 |
843 | Welcome to Star Wars 10: Return of the Rabbi | 1.3262 | 0.04259 | 187 | 137 | 39 | 11 |
844 | Now, let's put our fins, claws, and vestigial limbs together to welcome George, our new director of diversity. | 1.3262 | 0.04259 | 187 | 137 | 39 | 11 |
845 | And now Stan Zelinski will tell us how we can boost sales by practicing our people skills. | 1.3262 | 0.04122 | 187 | 135 | 43 | 9 |
846 | No, he’s the new intern, not lunch. | 1.3262 | 0.04122 | 187 | 135 | 43 | 9 |
847 | Who invited Dr. Suess ? | 1.3245 | 0.04173 | 188 | 137 | 41 | 10 |
848 | Please welcome our new Diversity Training Manager. | 1.3245 | 0.04240 | 188 | 138 | 39 | 11 |
849 | Which one of you guy's seahorse is double parked? | 1.3243 | 0.04620 | 148 | 107 | 34 | 7 |
850 | Did anyone invite a cis white male? | 1.3243 | 0.04620 | 148 | 107 | 34 | 7 |
851 | Here he comes....be prepared for some biting remarks! | 1.3243 | 0.04003 | 185 | 132 | 46 | 7 |
852 | We're bringing in a new terror: IRS auditor. | 1.3243 | 0.04354 | 185 | 137 | 36 | 12 |
853 | He says they’ll pay us if we dig up some dirt on Biden and his son. | 1.3243 | 0.04552 | 185 | 140 | 30 | 15 |
854 | Han Solo is waiting at the bar. Let's wrap this up! | 1.3242 | 0.04191 | 182 | 132 | 41 | 9 |
855 | And...We also have a Gluten free, Plant based menu!! | 1.3242 | 0.04403 | 182 | 135 | 35 | 12 |
856 | Be sure to use the appropriate pronouns. | 1.3242 | 0.04334 | 182 | 134 | 37 | 11 |
857 | Ladies and gentlemen, mutation is the key to our evolution. | 1.3242 | 0.04334 | 182 | 134 | 37 | 11 |
858 | Quick, quick - let’s delete the fossil record before the extinction event! | 1.3242 | 0.04334 | 182 | 134 | 37 | 11 |
859 | He would like a lease/option on our planet. | 1.3242 | 0.04472 | 182 | 136 | 33 | 13 |
860 | Sorry, no illegal aliens allowed! | 1.3242 | 0.04191 | 182 | 132 | 41 | 9 |
861 | We need more diversity on this board. A few humans in our ranks might help us getting government contracts. | 1.3242 | 0.04191 | 182 | 132 | 41 | 9 |
862 | The purpose of today's meeting is how to make us more relevant in the 21st century. | 1.3242 | 0.04118 | 182 | 131 | 43 | 8 |
863 | ...so Roger's audit shows we can cut costs by hiding in kids' dressers and under nightstands instead. | 1.3242 | 0.04671 | 182 | 139 | 27 | 16 |
864 | Sorry, Man, your species is still too destructive. We’ll check back in a few millennia when you’ve had more time to mature. | 1.3241 | 0.04682 | 145 | 105 | 33 | 7 |
865 | This is little Johnny, all grown up now. Do you remember hiding under his bed at night? | 1.3222 | 0.04290 | 180 | 132 | 38 | 10 |
866 | Well, once he looses the suit he will fit right in. | 1.3222 | 0.04218 | 180 | 131 | 40 | 9 |
867 | For some reason, George had a gnawing feeling that his coworkers' Halloween costumes looked a bit too real. | 1.3222 | 0.04218 | 180 | 131 | 40 | 9 |
868 | This gentleman is recruiting for the White House staff. | 1.3222 | 0.04362 | 180 | 133 | 36 | 11 |
869 | None of you have been selected for juror service | 1.3222 | 0.04362 | 180 | 133 | 36 | 11 |
870 | I know he's ugly but, he taste like chicken! | 1.3222 | 0.04502 | 180 | 135 | 32 | 13 |
871 | Yes Mr. Jones, it is in fact a scales meeting. | 1.3222 | 0.04362 | 180 | 133 | 36 | 11 |
872 | Oh good, lunch has arrived. | 1.3222 | 0.04218 | 180 | 131 | 39 | 9 |
873 | Maybe we can hire him for voiceovers. | 1.3222 | 0.04218 | 180 | 131 | 40 | 9 |
874 | This year we've got to go easier on Herbie from 14th st. He's been peeing his bed since last Halloween. | 1.3222 | 0.04571 | 180 | 136 | 30 | 14 |
875 | Well, my ex considers me a monster. | 1.3222 | 0.04502 | 180 | 135 | 32 | 13 |
876 | And finally, if Mort has everyone's coffee orders, I'll ask those with claws to stop scratching the table. | 1.3222 | 0.04362 | 180 | 133 | 36 | 11 |
877 | Mr. Perkins here will now serve as breakfast. | 1.3222 | 0.04143 | 180 | 130 | 42 | 8 |
878 | I see lunch has arrived, let’s take a quick break | 1.3222 | 0.04290 | 180 | 132 | 38 | 10 |
879 | I didn't expect our lunch to be delivered so quickly. | 1.3222 | 0.04362 | 180 | 133 | 36 | 11 |
880 | Roger here would like us to do him a favor though before he takes us to his leader. | 1.3222 | 0.04362 | 180 | 133 | 36 | 11 |
881 | Dave here has concerns that we’ve alienated him... | 1.3222 | 0.04068 | 180 | 129 | 44 | 7 |
882 | To my left is our first office pet, Fred. | 1.3221 | 0.04392 | 149 | 106 | 38 | 5 |
883 | Is there something on my face? | 1.3205 | 0.04811 | 156 | 117 | 28 | 11 |
884 | I'd like to introduce you all to Bob. This is his first day here at Nuclear Solutions, LLC | 1.3205 | 0.04636 | 156 | 115 | 32 | 9 |
885 | Kid's imaginary friends just aren't what they used to be. | 1.3203 | 0.04605 | 153 | 112 | 33 | 8 |
886 | Here to present his excuses is Timmy, who as a child, used to scare us all by hiding under our beds. | 1.3202 | 0.04318 | 178 | 131 | 37 | 10 |
887 | It looks like our lunch has arrived. | 1.3202 | 0.04318 | 178 | 131 | 37 | 10 |
888 | We picked Jim to represent us in our ad campaign for more nuclear reactors. | 1.3202 | 0.04603 | 178 | 135 | 29 | 14 |
889 | I've hired him to figure out why our sales numbers are so low. | 1.3202 | 0.04318 | 178 | 131 | 37 | 10 |
890 | United Nations, Circa 2049 | 1.3202 | 0.04391 | 178 | 132 | 35 | 11 |
891 | Fortunately for us, Vinnie here is just about the best dang immigration attorney in the tri-star area. | 1.3202 | 0.04463 | 178 | 133 | 33 | 12 |
892 | Great Costume.... | 1.3202 | 0.04092 | 178 | 128 | 43 | 7 |
893 | First, we have a presentation from corporate by Ted, and then we'll break for lunch, which is Ted. | 1.3202 | 0.04318 | 178 | 131 | 37 | 10 |
894 | Though technically a mammal, Dave is a lawyer with a wonderful reptilian disposition! | 1.3202 | 0.04533 | 178 | 134 | 31 | 13 |
895 | No, this is Gary from Accounts Receivable. Lunch will be here at Noon. | 1.3202 | 0.04391 | 178 | 132 | 35 | 11 |
896 | The swamp got drained and this is all that was left. | 1.3202 | 0.04463 | 178 | 133 | 33 | 12 |
897 | I'll have the waiter, with some fava beans and a nice Chianti! | 1.3202 | 0.04391 | 178 | 132 | 35 | 11 |
898 | Don't let his looks fool you. He's very good with computers. | 1.3202 | 0.04318 | 178 | 131 | 37 | 10 |
899 | Don’t give me that look. I told you yesterday we were going to have Bob for dinner this evening. | 1.3202 | 0.04533 | 178 | 134 | 31 | 13 |
900 | Welcome to your nightmare board meeting. | 1.3202 | 0.04318 | 178 | 131 | 37 | 10 |
901 | Seriously? Those are your pronouns? | 1.3202 | 0.04318 | 178 | 131 | 37 | 10 |
902 | I'd like to introduce Frank, head of our Diversity Hiring Initiative. | 1.3202 | 0.04318 | 178 | 131 | 37 | 10 |
903 | Stan is here from Nonhuman Resources to review our policy on office romances. | 1.3202 | 0.04391 | 178 | 132 | 35 | 11 |
904 | I think it's fair to say that this species cannot be regarded as intelligent. So we continue to use it for our medical tests. | 1.3202 | 0.04169 | 178 | 129 | 41 | 8 |
905 | You can tell that kangaroo on the bench that we have reached a verdict. | 1.3202 | 0.04463 | 178 | 133 | 33 | 12 |
906 | Gentlemen, as you know, I will stepping down as Chairman of the Frights and Seizures Committee. I would like to introduce my replacement, Steve Mnuchin. | 1.3202 | 0.04671 | 178 | 136 | 27 | 15 |
907 | Yes, I'm sure he's prepared to answer questions about pre-existing conditions. | 1.3202 | 0.04013 | 178 | 127 | 45 | 6 |
908 | This is Ned, try not to stare. | 1.3202 | 0.04092 | 178 | 128 | 43 | 7 |
909 | Okay, who ordered the appetizer? | 1.3202 | 0.04318 | 178 | 131 | 37 | 10 |
910 | Well, gentlemen, I see lunch is here. I took the liberty of ordering us a Thirty-Two-Year-Old Architect from Poughkeepsie. | 1.3202 | 0.04244 | 178 | 130 | 39 | 9 |
911 | I realize that for some of you it’ll be harder to see eye to eye on this... | 1.3202 | 0.04092 | 178 | 128 | 43 | 7 |
912 | Legal says we have to start wearing clothes. | 1.3202 | 0.04169 | 178 | 129 | 41 | 8 |
913 | Everyone welcome Edwin, the marginalized minority representative for our new corporate diversity training program | 1.3202 | 0.04463 | 178 | 133 | 33 | 12 |
914 | Community bathrooms it is. | 1.3202 | 0.04463 | 178 | 133 | 33 | 12 |
915 | He says they’ll change us back if we find some emails. | 1.3202 | 0.04244 | 178 | 130 | 39 | 9 |
916 | Yes, but wait 'til you see his truck collection! | 1.3185 | 0.05114 | 135 | 101 | 25 | 9 |
917 | Meet our new diversity hire, Kevin. | 1.3182 | 0.04346 | 176 | 130 | 36 | 10 |
918 | ...next: the U.K.'s referendum to leave the planetary system. | 1.3182 | 0.04493 | 176 | 132 | 32 | 12 |
919 | Bob's company helps organizations like ours think 'outside the closet'. | 1.3182 | 0.04493 | 176 | 132 | 32 | 12 |
920 | I want to introduce you to a delicious new member of our team, Gary. | 1.3182 | 0.04116 | 176 | 127 | 42 | 7 |
921 | It's casual Friday, bonehead. | 1.3182 | 0.04271 | 176 | 129 | 38 | 9 |
922 | This meeting of the Dr. Seuss rejects will come to order. | 1.3182 | 0.04271 | 176 | 129 | 38 | 9 |
923 | Oh good, I see our snack’s arrived. | 1.3182 | 0.04346 | 176 | 130 | 36 | 10 |
924 | Say hello to the new guy from a galaxy far far away. | 1.3182 | 0.04116 | 176 | 127 | 42 | 7 |
925 | As you can see, lunch has arrived, so this would be a good time to break. | 1.3182 | 0.04194 | 176 | 128 | 40 | 8 |
926 | Anybody order vanilla? | 1.3182 | 0.04194 | 176 | 128 | 40 | 8 |
927 | OK, OK, next time we order pizza. | 1.3182 | 0.04194 | 176 | 128 | 40 | 8 |
928 | We just captured the last earthling. Shall we break for lunch? | 1.3182 | 0.04271 | 176 | 129 | 38 | 9 |
929 | Naturally, the board is always glad to see the stockholders. | 1.3182 | 0.04420 | 176 | 131 | 34 | 11 |
930 | This is Mr. Smith from the NAACP. We’ll use their charter and bylaws for our new non-profit, the Universal Association for the Advancement of Multi-colored People. | 1.3182 | 0.04346 | 176 | 130 | 36 | 10 |
931 | Dave realizes having that last mushroom omelet at Burning Man was a bad idea. | 1.3182 | 0.04194 | 176 | 128 | 40 | 8 |
932 | ... and this is our new meat lovers option | 1.3182 | 0.04346 | 176 | 130 | 36 | 10 |
933 | Stay out of Trump’s nightmares, you can’t compete! | 1.3182 | 0.04493 | 176 | 132 | 32 | 12 |
934 | Say hello to Sam. He cast the bar scene for Star Wars. Let' hear what he's working on now. | 1.3182 | 0.04194 | 176 | 130 | 37 | 9 |
935 | Marvin is our new diversity hire. | 1.3182 | 0.04194 | 176 | 130 | 37 | 9 |
936 | Yes he's strange but the organization requires diversity. | 1.3182 | 0.04346 | 176 | 130 | 36 | 10 |
937 | Obviously, he didn't realize we operate a nudist camp. | 1.3182 | 0.04420 | 176 | 131 | 34 | 11 |
938 | Diversity can be challenging, I admit it. | 1.3182 | 0.04346 | 176 | 130 | 36 | 10 |
939 | He’s our affirmative action candidate. | 1.3182 | 0.04036 | 176 | 128 | 41 | 7 |
940 | So, which one of you is in Human Resources? | 1.3182 | 0.04346 | 176 | 130 | 36 | 10 |
941 | Fred is our new Indigenous Peoples intern. | 1.3182 | 0.04036 | 176 | 126 | 44 | 6 |
942 | It finally happened. One of them finally made it to our galaxy. | 1.3182 | 0.04194 | 176 | 128 | 40 | 8 |
943 | Do you believe in the effects of global warming now? | 1.3182 | 0.04116 | 176 | 127 | 42 | 7 |
944 | Steve brings new blood into the Kitchen Cabinet. | 1.3182 | 0.04346 | 176 | 130 | 36 | 10 |
945 | Welcome to the White House! Rule #1, everything is beautiful. | 1.3182 | 0.04493 | 176 | 132 | 32 | 12 |
946 | He doesn't have the dessert menu, he is the dessert menu. | 1.3182 | 0.04493 | 176 | 132 | 32 | 12 |
947 | Did you hear the one about the Ukrainian comedian and the reality game show host? | 1.3182 | 0.04705 | 176 | 135 | 26 | 15 |
948 | Dave hopes our team will help scare up new business. | 1.3182 | 0.03955 | 176 | 125 | 46 | 5 |
949 | Who's in favor of having Alfred for dinner? | 1.3182 | 0.04346 | 176 | 130 | 36 | 10 |
950 | The results are in. The side effects are worse than the cure. | 1.3182 | 0.04346 | 176 | 130 | 36 | 10 |
951 | What's he doing here? I heard they were all extinct! | 1.3182 | 0.04271 | 176 | 129 | 38 | 9 |
952 | He responded to our Monster.com ad. | 1.3182 | 0.04420 | 176 | 131 | 34 | 11 |
953 | Who ordered the accountant special for lunch? | 1.3182 | 0.04346 | 176 | 130 | 36 | 10 |
954 | Let’s give him some slack. He’s only human. | 1.3182 | 0.04346 | 176 | 130 | 36 | 10 |
955 | Chuck gives our corporate culture humanity. | 1.3182 | 0.04194 | 176 | 128 | 40 | 8 |
956 | Although Frank doesn't seem to mind, for legal reasons, HR needs you to stop referring to him as human scum. | 1.3161 | 0.04524 | 174 | 131 | 31 | 12 |
957 | Yes, he's a man, a myth, AND a legend. | 1.3161 | 0.04524 | 174 | 131 | 31 | 12 |
958 | This is Stanley. He gets it. | 1.3161 | 0.04298 | 174 | 128 | 37 | 9 |
959 | He’ll be able to market our products to a whole new demographic. | 1.3161 | 0.04060 | 174 | 125 | 42 | 6 |
960 | Everybody, this is Joe. He'll be lunch. | 1.3161 | 0.04450 | 174 | 130 | 33 | 11 |
961 | Guys, this is Neil. Neil is a reality- based life form from our office in Scranton. | 1.3161 | 0.04141 | 174 | 126 | 41 | 7 |
962 | Don't stare. He's only a lawyer. | 1.3161 | 0.04524 | 174 | 131 | 31 | 12 |
963 | Fred from H.R. is here to talk to us about workplace diversity. | 1.3161 | 0.04259 | 174 | 130 | 34 | 10 |
964 | "This is John from the Pentagon; he's here to pick our reptilian brains." | 1.3161 | 0.04375 | 174 | 132 | 31 | 11 |
965 | Look at the new guy. Striped tie. Really? | 1.3161 | 0.04141 | 174 | 126 | 41 | 7 |
966 | The White House has asked us to come up with a better plan to stop aliens at our borders. | 1.3161 | 0.04739 | 174 | 134 | 25 | 15 |
967 | The stockholders want a more diverse board. All those in favor of Osborn say or grunt 'aye' | 1.3161 | 0.04298 | 174 | 128 | 37 | 9 |
968 | Charles, here, will help with our diversity initiative. | 1.3161 | 0.04220 | 174 | 127 | 39 | 8 |
969 | The Corporate Board for Where the Wild Things Are | 1.3161 | 0.04298 | 174 | 128 | 37 | 9 |
970 | He will provide the diversity we need | 1.3161 | 0.04141 | 174 | 126 | 41 | 7 |
971 | He's going to teach us how to make people think we aren't monsters. | 1.3161 | 0.04060 | 174 | 125 | 43 | 6 |
972 | Oh for crying out loud, Bob! We said no costumes for the October board meeting! | 1.3161 | 0.04298 | 174 | 128 | 37 | 9 |
973 | Of course he's a monster. He charges 2% fees and under performs the market... | 1.3161 | 0.04450 | 174 | 130 | 33 | 11 |
974 | And here is Max in his wolf of Wall Street suit to lead us on a wild rumpus through the derivatives market. | 1.3161 | 0.04524 | 174 | 131 | 31 | 12 |
975 | Yes, he looks harmless, but he’s a demon on Twitter. | 1.3161 | 0.04298 | 174 | 128 | 37 | 9 |
976 | And for kids who don't scare easy, Fred here offers low introductory rates on student loans. | 1.3161 | 0.04298 | 174 | 128 | 37 | 9 |
977 | ... and Francis here is the new head of sales for our Planet Earth division. | 1.3161 | 0.04060 | 174 | 125 | 43 | 6 |
978 | It’s unanimous. We’ll refill the swamp. | 1.3161 | 0.04298 | 174 | 128 | 37 | 9 |
979 | He says he’s here to find a unicorn. | 1.3161 | 0.04450 | 174 | 130 | 33 | 11 |
980 | You're here to represent the most screwed up species in your galaxy. | 1.3161 | 0.04524 | 174 | 131 | 31 | 12 |
981 | Do we have any more criticisms for our genetic engineer? | 1.3161 | 0.04375 | 174 | 129 | 35 | 10 |
982 | Lets give a cold welcome to our newest associate on the earth account. | 1.3161 | 0.04524 | 174 | 131 | 31 | 12 |
983 | Phil will be overseeing Human Resources, so we never run out again. | 1.3161 | 0.04809 | 174 | 135 | 23 | 16 |
984 | Legal has OK'd franchising Area 51. | 1.3161 | 0.04220 | 174 | 127 | 39 | 8 |
985 | Fensterwald here has just informed me that we're no longer on the endangered species list but we won't survive climate change. | 1.3161 | 0.04375 | 174 | 129 | 35 | 10 |
986 | When they are properly dressed they taste good. | 1.3147 | 0.04593 | 143 | 104 | 33 | 6 |
987 | Who’s ready for lunch? | 1.3143 | 0.04428 | 175 | 131 | 33 | 11 |
988 | Please, join us on...er...I mean, at the table. | 1.3143 | 0.04041 | 175 | 126 | 43 | 6 |
989 | All in favor of hiring the aberration, signify with a guttural sound. | 1.3143 | 0.04354 | 175 | 130 | 35 | 10 |
990 | Even with all us monsters gathered 'round the table, it's hard to ignore the Republican. | 1.3143 | 0.04871 | 140 | 104 | 28 | 8 |
991 | I’d like to address the man in the room. | 1.3143 | 0.04354 | 175 | 130 | 35 | 10 |
992 | Introducing our latest member, Warren. I agree these humans don’t look scary at first but you should see what they’re capable of doing to each other! | 1.3140 | 0.04326 | 172 | 127 | 36 | 9 |
993 | I hope you've all registered your dietary restrictions with Mr. Tillis. | 1.3140 | 0.04247 | 172 | 126 | 38 | 8 |
994 | We tried to find a black woman candidate. Would you settle for a gay white guy? | 1.3134 | 0.05341 | 134 | 103 | 20 | 11 |
995 | The human here will call the meeting to order, as well as phylum, class, and species. | 1.3125 | 0.05258 | 144 | 112 | 19 | 13 |
996 | Rick, welcome to the Trump Cabinet. | 1.3121 | 0.04679 | 173 | 133 | 26 | 14 |
997 | The Earthling bears a request from his nation's leader – that we abduct a human named Pelosi. | 1.3121 | 0.04607 | 173 | 134 | 25 | 13 |
998 | This is Norm, from HR. He's about to be your worst nightmare. | 1.3121 | 0.04458 | 173 | 130 | 32 | 11 |
999 | Any dietary restrictions? | 1.3121 | 0.04382 | 173 | 131 | 31 | 11 |
1000 | We wasted no time in implementing our company’s new diversity mandate. | 1.3121 | 0.04533 | 173 | 131 | 30 | 12 |
1001 | In keeping with our policy for diversity, please welcome our new member. | 1.3121 | 0.04305 | 173 | 128 | 36 | 9 |
1002 | Bob will be joining the board -his scare tactics on Fox News has really opened up a new demographic for us. | 1.3121 | 0.04607 | 173 | 132 | 28 | 13 |
1003 | Somebody forgot it's dress-down Friday! | 1.3121 | 0.04226 | 173 | 127 | 38 | 8 |
1004 | Arthur has agreed to stay for lunch. | 1.3121 | 0.04382 | 173 | 129 | 34 | 10 |
1005 | Lewis, everyone feels awkward when you ignore Casual Friday! | 1.3121 | 0.04533 | 173 | 131 | 30 | 12 |
1006 | we are having budget problems and corporate wants to know which one of you is going extinct first | 1.3121 | 0.05243 | 141 | 109 | 20 | 12 |
1007 | I know what you're thinking, and no, he's not a dentist. | 1.3116 | 0.04911 | 138 | 103 | 27 | 8 |
1008 | Musical chairs is an excellent way to determine which species goes extinct next. We’ll play again next Thursday. | 1.3114 | 0.04645 | 167 | 127 | 28 | 12 |
1009 | And if each of you would introduce yourself and please ... your pronouns. | 1.3114 | 0.04406 | 167 | 124 | 34 | 9 |
1010 | Don’t worry Bill, we’re a family here at the Chernobyl branch. Give it some time, and you’ll fit right in. | 1.3114 | 0.04323 | 167 | 123 | 36 | 8 |
1011 | C'mon guys, act dumb. The human is coming. | 1.3103 | 0.04746 | 145 | 108 | 29 | 8 |
1012 | We heard that you help aliens get citizenship. | 1.3103 | 0.04324 | 145 | 104 | 37 | 4 |
1013 | I'm sure we will all help Jim adapt and thrive in our corporate culture. | 1.3099 | 0.04171 | 171 | 125 | 39 | 7 |
1014 | Welcome to the first meeting of our Employee Diversification Committee... | 1.3095 | 0.04621 | 168 | 128 | 28 | 12 |
1015 | Alright, let's begin the annual meeting of citizens for clean air and water | 1.3095 | 0.04301 | 168 | 124 | 36 | 8 |
1016 | All those in favor of adding the Reagan Democrat to the Mythical Creatures Club say "aye". | 1.3095 | 0.04383 | 168 | 125 | 34 | 9 |
1017 | I think we can all agree that we're not monsters, we're merely representing our client's desires. | 1.3095 | 0.04383 | 168 | 125 | 34 | 9 |
1018 | Everyone, meet our new Director of Human Resources. | 1.3095 | 0.04543 | 168 | 127 | 30 | 11 |
1019 | Please welcome Bob from Accounting. | 1.3095 | 0.04383 | 168 | 125 | 34 | 9 |
1020 | Now let’s all welcome our new diversity intern Glen! | 1.3095 | 0.04383 | 168 | 125 | 34 | 9 |
1021 | Gentleman, this is my new assistant, out of Washington. He's gotten used to dealing with monsters and pretending he didn't hear anything scary. | 1.3091 | 0.04599 | 165 | 125 | 29 | 11 |
1022 | Stuart here is a politician. Ya'll need to up your game. | 1.3091 | 0.04435 | 165 | 123 | 33 | 9 |
1023 | Tom from HR is here to remind everyone to ask first then scare. | 1.3091 | 0.04266 | 165 | 121 | 37 | 7 |
1024 | I asked our auditor to join today's meeting to discuss our plan to obliterate the galaxy and to provide a written evaluation on whether it meets best practices. | 1.3091 | 0.04435 | 165 | 123 | 33 | 9 |
1025 | Gentlemen meet Larry, our new VP of Diversity | 1.3091 | 0.04266 | 165 | 121 | 37 | 7 |
1026 | Say hello to our diversity hire. | 1.3091 | 0.04266 | 165 | 121 | 37 | 7 |
1027 | Say, "Hello," to our new Director of Diversity, Jimmy. | 1.3091 | 0.04089 | 165 | 119 | 41 | 5 |
1028 | Lunch? | 1.3091 | 0.04266 | 165 | 121 | 37 | 7 |
1029 | After seeing us individually under your bed, you get to see us all together now... | 1.3091 | 0.04089 | 165 | 119 | 41 | 5 |
1030 | Steve is our new diversity hire. | 1.3091 | 0.04266 | 165 | 121 | 37 | 7 |
1031 | I told him we were wearing our birthday suits | 1.3091 | 0.04351 | 165 | 122 | 35 | 8 |
1032 | I think I liked the swamp better. | 1.3091 | 0.04351 | 165 | 122 | 35 | 8 |
1033 | Guys, meet our newest member. He goes by The Wolf of Wall Street. | 1.3091 | 0.04599 | 165 | 125 | 29 | 11 |
1034 | I gathered you here to see what ancient man looks like. | 1.3091 | 0.04679 | 165 | 126 | 27 | 12 |
1035 | To begin with, may I introduce our amuse-bouche | 1.3091 | 0.04679 | 165 | 126 | 27 | 12 |
1036 | As you know, today we begin phase five of Exposure therapy. | 1.3088 | 0.05168 | 136 | 104 | 22 | 10 |
1037 | We’re getting married! | 1.3081 | 0.04311 | 172 | 128 | 35 | 9 |
1038 | Everyone welcome our foreign exchange intern! | 1.3081 | 0.04311 | 172 | 128 | 35 | 9 |
1039 | Welcome Joe, everyone, he's an Earthling and was hired through our alien guest worker program" | 1.3081 | 0.04389 | 172 | 129 | 33 | 10 |
1040 | Let’s give a warm welcome to our latest candidate for extinction! | 1.3081 | 0.04542 | 172 | 131 | 29 | 12 |
1041 | Steg, quit drooling. Mr. Smith is not here for lunch. | 1.3081 | 0.04151 | 172 | 126 | 39 | 7 |
1042 | He guarantees things are finally heating up on earth. | 1.3081 | 0.04232 | 172 | 127 | 37 | 8 |
1043 | Credentials, what d'ya mean credentials, he worked for Trump. All in favor say Covfefe . .. . | 1.3081 | 0.04389 | 172 | 129 | 33 | 10 |
1044 | We're all different. No jokes about the guy in the tie. | 1.3081 | 0.04616 | 172 | 132 | 27 | 13 |
1045 | Are there not limits to our Diversity and Inclusion initiative? | 1.3081 | 0.04151 | 172 | 126 | 39 | 7 |
1046 | We finally found our chameleon. | 1.3081 | 0.04151 | 172 | 126 | 39 | 7 |
1047 | Ah! Here comes the freak... | 1.3081 | 0.04389 | 172 | 129 | 33 | 10 |
1048 | The question is "How diverse do we want to be?" | 1.3081 | 0.04389 | 172 | 129 | 33 | 10 |
1049 | Meet Walter, our new director of Diversity. | 1.3081 | 0.04232 | 172 | 127 | 37 | 8 |
1050 | Please welcome our first HUMAN resources director. | 1.3081 | 0.04232 | 172 | 127 | 37 | 8 |
1051 | First order of business: stop scratching the table. | 1.3081 | 0.04542 | 172 | 131 | 29 | 12 |
1052 | ...And just when they think they can't get more terrified... BAM... we hit'em with Reginald from Legal..... | 1.3081 | 0.04151 | 172 | 126 | 39 | 7 |
1053 | I found him, but you can name him. | 1.3081 | 0.04151 | 172 | 126 | 39 | 7 |
1054 | Our newest Cabinet member reminds me of how most of you looked on your first day! | 1.3081 | 0.04232 | 172 | 127 | 37 | 8 |
1055 | We need to bring diversity to the board room. | 1.3081 | 0.04151 | 172 | 126 | 39 | 7 |
1056 | I guess no one told him it was casual Friday. | 1.3081 | 0.04311 | 172 | 128 | 35 | 9 |
1057 | Here to explain 'veganism', let's all welcome Phil from Earth. | 1.3081 | 0.04232 | 172 | 127 | 37 | 8 |
1058 | POTUS will be here shortly and then we can started. Mitch you look great. | 1.3081 | 0.04466 | 172 | 130 | 31 | 11 |
1059 | This is either the new guy or lunch. | 1.3081 | 0.04311 | 172 | 128 | 35 | 9 |
1060 | Stop drooling.he's our attorney. | 1.3081 | 0.03983 | 172 | 124 | 43 | 5 |
1061 | Here comes lunch | 1.3081 | 0.04542 | 172 | 131 | 29 | 12 |
1062 | Bob is an architect who specializes in monstrosities. | 1.3081 | 0.04542 | 172 | 131 | 29 | 12 |
1063 | When I said your personalities should reflect your appearances, I was just joking. | 1.3081 | 0.04466 | 172 | 130 | 31 | 11 |
1064 | Tom has joined us today to discuss the difference between diversity and inclusion. | 1.3081 | 0.04151 | 172 | 126 | 39 | 7 |
1065 | I think we've clearly met the organization's demand for diversity! | 1.3081 | 0.04616 | 172 | 132 | 27 | 13 |
1066 | Clothes make the man. | 1.3081 | 0.04232 | 172 | 127 | 37 | 8 |
1067 | Lunch has arrived. I call dibs on a leg. | 1.3077 | 0.04280 | 169 | 125 | 36 | 8 |
1068 | I’m against it. Next thing you know, he’ll be asking for a separate water fountain. | 1.3077 | 0.05306 | 104 | 76 | 24 | 4 |
1069 | All those in favour of a hostile takeover hiss now. | 1.3077 | 0.04441 | 169 | 127 | 32 | 10 |
1070 | So, shall we let this gentleman in our ark? | 1.3071 | 0.05058 | 140 | 107 | 23 | 10 |
1071 | As I said before: He works here...He is not desert | 1.3071 | 0.05159 | 140 | 108 | 21 | 11 |
1072 | Much to his embarrassment Fred remembered it was casual Friday | 1.3071 | 0.05185 | 127 | 96 | 23 | 8 |
1073 | This is Charles. I'm pleased to announce that he has decided to join us instead of the Trump Administration. | 1.3067 | 0.04713 | 163 | 125 | 26 | 12 |
1074 | Now I'd like to introduce to you someone we'd all like to eat-- woops, I mean meet. | 1.3067 | 0.04713 | 163 | 125 | 26 | 12 |
1075 | Joe is part of our diversity initiative. | 1.3067 | 0.04113 | 163 | 118 | 40 | 5 |
1076 | Gentlemen! we have decided to outsource | 1.3067 | 0.04113 | 163 | 118 | 40 | 5 |
1077 | Trump’s cabinet 2023 | 1.3067 | 0.04713 | 163 | 125 | 26 | 12 |
1078 | Attention: The StarWars bar scene alumni association meeting will come to order. | 1.3067 | 0.04380 | 163 | 121 | 34 | 8 |
1079 | Fellow Demons, our newest board member... Martin Shkreli | 1.3067 | 0.04871 | 163 | 127 | 22 | 14 |
1080 | It’s about this wall you want to build on Saturn and get Jupiter to pay for. | 1.3067 | 0.04550 | 163 | 123 | 30 | 10 |
1081 | I've asked John here, from marketing, to fill us in on this year's United Way campaign. | 1.3067 | 0.04632 | 163 | 124 | 28 | 11 |
1082 | Don’t panic, it’s only his Halloween costume. | 1.3067 | 0.04550 | 163 | 123 | 30 | 10 |
1083 | Who brought the snack? | 1.3067 | 0.04550 | 163 | 123 | 30 | 10 |
1084 | You'll remember Max as a boy when he was our king. Now he's joing Wild Things Inc. as an intern. | 1.3067 | 0.04632 | 163 | 124 | 28 | 11 |
1085 | Please welcome Ned to our creative team for his much-needed out of the box perspective. | 1.3067 | 0.04380 | 163 | 121 | 34 | 8 |
1086 | Mr. Smythe: We have considered your request for membership and have decided that you just don't fit in. | 1.3067 | 0.04466 | 163 | 122 | 32 | 9 |
1087 | Another rookie! We'll eat this guy for lunch! | 1.3067 | 0.04632 | 163 | 124 | 28 | 11 |
1088 | Be nice to him, most of his kind died from the asteroid. | 1.3067 | 0.04632 | 163 | 124 | 28 | 11 |
1089 | Only one? For all of us to split? | 1.3067 | 0.04204 | 163 | 119 | 38 | 6 |
1090 | Any guesses on how many there used to be? | 1.3067 | 0.04204 | 163 | 119 | 38 | 6 |
1091 | The law says we must have at least one male on the board. | 1.3067 | 0.04380 | 163 | 121 | 34 | 8 |
1092 | Up next is Paul, who wants to offer a contrarian view regarding our global annihilation strategy. | 1.3067 | 0.04380 | 163 | 121 | 34 | 8 |
1093 | In light of recent events, Tom will be leading a mandatory Human Sensitivity Training this afternoon. | 1.3067 | 0.04550 | 163 | 123 | 30 | 10 |
1094 | Looks like lunch has arrived. | 1.3067 | 0.04632 | 163 | 124 | 28 | 11 |
1095 | Barney, didn't you get the memo? No white-face on Halloween. | 1.3067 | 0.04632 | 163 | 124 | 28 | 11 |
1096 | This is our management consultant Irving. If we don’t like the direction he’s taking us, he’ll pair nicely with a bold Cabernet. | 1.3067 | 0.04466 | 163 | 122 | 32 | 9 |
1097 | Honestly, guys, alien privilege is a thing now. | 1.3067 | 0.04380 | 163 | 120 | 34 | 8 |
1098 | Will the the post climate change society please come to order | 1.3067 | 0.04466 | 163 | 122 | 32 | 9 |
1099 | Must be a legacy. | 1.3067 | 0.04466 | 163 | 122 | 32 | 9 |
1100 | Bill quickly realized he was the diversity hire. | 1.3067 | 0.04550 | 163 | 123 | 30 | 10 |
1101 | The OSHA inspector is here to check on that hissing noise. | 1.3067 | 0.04550 | 163 | 123 | 30 | 10 |
1102 | This is Roger. He'll be reviewing our immigration compliance policies. | 1.3067 | 0.04113 | 163 | 118 | 39 | 5 |
1103 | Meet Bob. Bob is our diversity hire. | 1.3064 | 0.04290 | 173 | 129 | 35 | 9 |
1104 | And the best monster award goes to Ed the Juul marketing executive. | 1.3064 | 0.04665 | 173 | 134 | 25 | 14 |
1105 | Remember the kid from ‘E.T.’? | 1.3064 | 0.04211 | 173 | 128 | 37 | 8 |
1106 | Meet John from Central Casting | 1.3064 | 0.04519 | 173 | 132 | 29 | 12 |
1107 | It even smells like plants when you cook it! | 1.3064 | 0.04048 | 173 | 126 | 41 | 6 |
1108 | Is this the Trump Cabinet meeting? | 1.3060 | 0.05425 | 134 | 105 | 17 | 12 |
1109 | This is the new company psychologist. | 1.3053 | 0.04584 | 131 | 95 | 32 | 4 |
1110 | This company is not creature binary. | 1.3053 | 0.04833 | 131 | 97 | 28 | 6 |
1111 | This is Bob from HR. He will be reviewing the dress code policy with us today. | 1.3050 | 0.04821 | 141 | 106 | 27 | 8 |
1112 | We will have a Vegan platter, Thank you | 1.3049 | 0.04357 | 164 | 122 | 34 | 8 |
1113 | His last name is Monster. Close enough. | 1.3049 | 0.04357 | 164 | 122 | 34 | 8 |
1114 | I'd like introduce our new head of human resources. | 1.3043 | 0.04230 | 161 | 118 | 37 | 6 |
1115 | And now Dan from HR will present on the importance of not eating humans. | 1.3043 | 0.04582 | 161 | 122 | 29 | 10 |
1116 | This meeting of 'Where the Wild Things Are' will now begin. | 1.3043 | 0.04410 | 161 | 123 | 30 | 8 |
1117 | Three humans come into a bar... | 1.3043 | 0.04497 | 161 | 121 | 31 | 9 |
1118 | Let me introduce Larry, the newest member of our nightmare squad. He majored in Realizing Your Homework Is Past Due and wrote a thesis on showing up to class naked. Welcome, Larry. | 1.3043 | 0.04666 | 161 | 123 | 27 | 11 |
1119 | Why is Blorg the only one of you dressed for Casual Friday? | 1.3043 | 0.04749 | 161 | 124 | 25 | 12 |
1120 | And you wear that every day? | 1.3043 | 0.04137 | 161 | 117 | 39 | 5 |
1121 | And next on the menu - I mean agenda - is... | 1.3043 | 0.04410 | 161 | 120 | 33 | 8 |
1122 | You must be the special. | 1.3043 | 0.04410 | 161 | 120 | 33 | 8 |
1123 | To keep our finger on the pulse of the market, I've invited one of our customers to join the board. | 1.3043 | 0.04582 | 161 | 122 | 29 | 10 |
1124 | Trust me guys. Jerry used to work for the IRS, he'll fit right in. | 1.3043 | 0.04230 | 161 | 118 | 36 | 6 |
1125 | We are here to celebrate the success of our diversity program! | 1.3043 | 0.03743 | 161 | 121 | 36 | 4 |
1126 | OK, now before we get started with the meeting, do you want thighs, legs or arms? | 1.3043 | 0.04497 | 161 | 121 | 31 | 9 |
1127 | Ok. Who order the business man lunch? | 1.3043 | 0.04749 | 161 | 124 | 25 | 12 |
1128 | Let's eat--oops, meet--our new diversity officer. | 1.3043 | 0.04410 | 161 | 120 | 33 | 8 |
1129 | Okay . . . now Dennis here is going to talk to us about our homo sapien harassment policy. | 1.3043 | 0.04497 | 161 | 121 | 31 | 9 |
1130 | We're grooming him for the Earth presidency. | 1.3043 | 0.04321 | 161 | 119 | 35 | 7 |
1131 | OK... Everyone take a turn and tell President Trump how much you like him! | 1.3043 | 0.04582 | 161 | 122 | 29 | 10 |
1132 | The Area 51 subcommittee welcomes the new Director of NASA who will explain why we are a hoax | 1.3043 | 0.04321 | 161 | 119 | 35 | 7 |
1133 | See? Just a few taps on the phone and food comes right to you. | 1.3043 | 0.04410 | 161 | 120 | 33 | 8 |
1134 | I've hired Simpson here to advise you on your wardrobes. | 1.3043 | 0.04666 | 161 | 123 | 27 | 11 |
1135 | I think I used to hide under your bed. | 1.3043 | 0.04582 | 161 | 122 | 29 | 10 |
1136 | You call this a diversity hire? | 1.3043 | 0.04410 | 161 | 120 | 33 | 8 |
1137 | They told him he'd never work on that planet again! But let me just say the MIT Media Lab's loss is our gain! Please welcome... | 1.3043 | 0.04666 | 161 | 123 | 27 | 11 |
1138 | Please welcome Bob, the honest politician, to our group of rare and unusual beings. | 1.3043 | 0.04497 | 161 | 121 | 31 | 9 |
1139 | I remind you of our commitment to diversity and inclusion. | 1.3043 | 0.04410 | 161 | 120 | 33 | 8 |
1140 | Can I keep him? He followed me home! | 1.3043 | 0.03845 | 161 | 120 | 36 | 5 |
1141 | First how about if we get all your pronouns straight? | 1.3043 | 0.04497 | 161 | 121 | 31 | 9 |
1142 | I know! , I know! He's my brother in law | 1.3043 | 0.04321 | 161 | 119 | 35 | 7 |
1143 | Whoa boy! There’s one in every crowd. | 1.3043 | 0.04321 | 161 | 119 | 35 | 7 |
1144 | That adjourns the area 51 tenant's meeting. | 1.3043 | 0.04230 | 161 | 118 | 37 | 6 |
1145 | Dr. Seuss wasn't available, but he did send his attorney, Mel. | 1.3043 | 0.04137 | 161 | 125 | 27 | 9 |
1146 | Look, I know he is unbelievably ugly, but give him a chance. | 1.3043 | 0.04909 | 161 | 126 | 21 | 14 |
1147 | OK, we're diversified. Now what? | 1.3043 | 0.04497 | 161 | 121 | 31 | 9 |
1148 | The new hire will let us break into the human market and meet affirmative action. | 1.3043 | 0.04582 | 161 | 122 | 29 | 10 |
1149 | He's the new guy from human resources | 1.3043 | 0.04410 | 161 | 120 | 33 | 8 |
1150 | Through the gig economy, we can staff a position under every child's bed. | 1.3043 | 0.04410 | 161 | 120 | 33 | 8 |
1151 | This is Benny...he’s weirder than he looks. | 1.3043 | 0.04042 | 161 | 116 | 41 | 4 |
1152 | Let's just hit him with the budget deficit, the 'boo' is redundant. | 1.3043 | 0.04497 | 161 | 121 | 31 | 9 |
1153 | Our campaign should stress there is no conclusive scientific evidence of any side effects | 1.3043 | 0.04137 | 161 | 117 | 38 | 5 |
1154 | Of course it's over the top, but the market's ready for something bizarre. | 1.3043 | 0.04230 | 161 | 123 | 29 | 9 |
1155 | Shrague,here,is going to talk to us about genetic mutations. | 1.3043 | 0.04497 | 161 | 121 | 31 | 9 |
1156 | With the new Secretary for Housing and Urban Development,I think this will be the best Cabinet ever. | 1.3043 | 0.04582 | 161 | 122 | 29 | 10 |
1157 | I want to introduce our new CEO. Mr Al Lien. | 1.3043 | 0.04554 | 138 | 101 | 32 | 5 |
1158 | There’s something you don’t see often, a man in a suit on casual Friday. | 1.3037 | 0.04850 | 135 | 101 | 27 | 7 |
1159 | Paralyzed, Billy remembered he forgot to lock his front door this morning. | 1.3023 | 0.05459 | 129 | 101 | 17 | 11 |
1160 | Though he might seem like a strange fit for us, Ted’s last gig was with the Department of Motor Vehicles. | 1.3023 | 0.04996 | 129 | 97 | 25 | 7 |
1161 | Franklin says we should start the invasion in America. Apparently, their leader isn't very brave. | 1.3023 | 0.04873 | 129 | 96 | 27 | 6 |
1162 | Is there anything scarier than a white man? | 1.3023 | 0.04996 | 129 | 97 | 25 | 7 |
1163 | Ok, so that's three children on rye, four children on whole wheat and one tuna melt. | 1.3023 | 0.05116 | 129 | 98 | 23 | 8 |
1164 | Well, it all started with microdosing, then I just kept increasing the dosage... | 1.3023 | 0.04996 | 129 | 97 | 25 | 7 |
1165 | Let's all welcome Jared, the new Secretary of the Swamp. | 1.3023 | 0.05116 | 129 | 98 | 23 | 8 |
1166 | And you're suggesting a PR nightmare would be a bad thing? | 1.3023 | 0.05116 | 129 | 98 | 23 | 8 |
1167 | Waiter, seven monster drinks. | 1.3019 | 0.04867 | 159 | 124 | 22 | 13 |
1168 | I know, but HR said we needed more diversity. | 1.3019 | 0.04349 | 159 | 120 | 31 | 8 |
1169 | Whose turn is it to eat the new guy for lunch " | 1.3019 | 0.04439 | 159 | 119 | 32 | 8 |
1170 | Good evening Distinguished Creatures, George has hired us to terrify his son. Lizzy you lurk in the closet and Blobby you slither under the bed." | 1.3019 | 0.04701 | 159 | 122 | 26 | 11 |
1171 | All in favor | 1.3019 | 0.03760 | 159 | 125 | 26 | 6 |
1172 | It's Halloween somewhere. | 1.3019 | 0.04349 | 159 | 118 | 34 | 7 |
1173 | I'll give him a week... | 1.3019 | 0.04439 | 159 | 119 | 32 | 8 |
1174 | It’s, “Bring a Human to Work” day. Didn't you hear? | 1.3019 | 0.04615 | 159 | 121 | 28 | 10 |
1175 | We're here to decide if we are going to deport this illegal alien. | 1.3019 | 0.04615 | 159 | 121 | 28 | 10 |
1176 | Time for a vote. All those in favor of medium rare raise your hands. | 1.3019 | 0.04439 | 159 | 119 | 32 | 8 |
1177 | Look, I know his kind might represent the values most damaging to life in our galaxy, but let's try to understand why he won't vote to impeach. | 1.3019 | 0.04439 | 159 | 119 | 32 | 8 |
1178 | Don't worry about whether he'll fit in, he's from HR | 1.3019 | 0.04349 | 159 | 118 | 34 | 7 |
1179 | I finally have the Cabinet I've always wanted! | 1.3019 | 0.04256 | 159 | 117 | 36 | 6 |
1180 | So we're accepting humans now? What is this, a zoo? | 1.3019 | 0.04256 | 159 | 117 | 36 | 6 |
1181 | Looks like no one told Gary we do a casual Friday. | 1.3019 | 0.04528 | 159 | 120 | 30 | 9 |
1182 | Did we drain the swamp or what?! | 1.3019 | 0.04162 | 159 | 116 | 38 | 5 |
1183 | No but, where are you really from? | 1.3019 | 0.04256 | 159 | 117 | 36 | 6 |
1184 | It appears that nudity is not universal in our galaxy. | 1.3019 | 0.04528 | 159 | 120 | 30 | 9 |
1185 | Clearly, he will only last a couple of days. | 1.3019 | 0.04349 | 159 | 118 | 34 | 7 |
1186 | Hey Frank, it’s casual Friday. | 1.3019 | 0.04439 | 159 | 119 | 32 | 8 |
1187 | We sure will be sad when animals like this go extinct. NOT! | 1.3019 | 0.04256 | 159 | 117 | 36 | 6 |
1188 | I know it’s nepotism but I promised my wife we’d hire her nephew. | 1.3019 | 0.04528 | 159 | 120 | 30 | 9 |
1189 | As your Christmas bonus this year, you’ll all be receiving subscriptions to the Insect of the Month Club. | 1.3019 | 0.04439 | 159 | 119 | 32 | 8 |
1190 | Please welcome Marc, our new diversity manager! | 1.3019 | 0.04162 | 159 | 116 | 38 | 5 |
1191 | It was so much easier when it was just bulls and bears. | 1.3019 | 0.04256 | 159 | 117 | 36 | 6 |
1192 | Please welcome Steve to the corporate world. | 1.3019 | 0.04528 | 159 | 120 | 30 | 9 |
1193 | Look, I know it’s scary, but somebody has to hide under Trump’s bed. | 1.3019 | 0.04785 | 159 | 123 | 24 | 12 |
1194 | And now the new guy wants to talk to us about something called diversity. | 1.3019 | 0.04615 | 159 | 121 | 28 | 10 |
1195 | Ben is a humanoid, he has feelings, but no brains, look at him. | 1.3019 | 0.04615 | 159 | 121 | 28 | 10 |
1196 | Great costume boss! | 1.3019 | 0.04439 | 159 | 119 | 32 | 8 |
1197 | Would you help us with our inclusivity statement? | 1.3019 | 0.04528 | 159 | 120 | 30 | 9 |
1198 | I am pleased to introduce you all to the newest member of the Evolutionary Dead End Society. | 1.3019 | 0.04785 | 159 | 123 | 24 | 12 |
1199 | Here's our latest candidate for extinct species membership. | 1.3019 | 0.04701 | 159 | 122 | 26 | 11 |
1200 | Sorry I’m only human. | 1.3019 | 0.04349 | 159 | 118 | 34 | 7 |
1201 | We've been asked to limit our dining to U.S.Senate Republicans and their base...of course, junk food, I know, I know... | 1.3019 | 0.04785 | 159 | 123 | 24 | 12 |
1202 | You were a lot scarier under the bed. | 1.3019 | 0.04701 | 159 | 122 | 26 | 11 |
1203 | He's come to talk about diversity. | 1.3019 | 0.04162 | 159 | 116 | 38 | 5 |
1204 | Andrew, no need to stare at the human. It's not polite. We are in charge now. | 1.3019 | 0.04439 | 159 | 119 | 32 | 8 |
1205 | It says they are "clothes" and it will not take them off. | 1.3019 | 0.04256 | 159 | 117 | 36 | 6 |
1206 | OK, So the Doc's vaccine still needs work, what's next on our agenda? | 1.3019 | 0.04615 | 159 | 121 | 28 | 10 |
1207 | Yes, I agree he is weird looking, but let's be tolerant. | 1.3019 | 0.04162 | 159 | 116 | 38 | 5 |
1208 | Meet our new VP of Human Resources | 1.3019 | 0.04065 | 159 | 115 | 40 | 4 |
1209 | We just voted you onto the diversity committee. | 1.3019 | 0.04701 | 159 | 122 | 26 | 11 |
1210 | I'd would now like to introduce Kevin, who is here to talk about the new dress code. | 1.3019 | 0.04615 | 159 | 121 | 28 | 10 |
1211 | ...and now luncheon is serving | 1.3019 | 0.04528 | 159 | 120 | 30 | 9 |
1212 | Who brought the weirdo? | 1.3019 | 0.04439 | 159 | 121 | 29 | 9 |
1213 | So are we all agreed on fuchsia for the drapes then? | 1.3016 | 0.05197 | 126 | 96 | 22 | 8 |
1214 | I don't know why he's smiling, either. | 1.3015 | 0.04931 | 136 | 103 | 25 | 8 |
1215 | Just bring us the usual, Bob. | 1.3015 | 0.04467 | 136 | 99 | 33 | 4 |
1216 | Let's check his ID to make sure he's not an illegal alien. | 1.3015 | 0.05040 | 136 | 104 | 23 | 9 |
1217 | It's time to diversify the board. | 1.3008 | 0.05005 | 133 | 101 | 24 | 8 |
1218 | This is Dave, he's going to be in charge of diversity | 1.3008 | 0.04771 | 133 | 99 | 28 | 6 |
1219 | And this is Phil. He'll be leading us through diversity training. | 1.3008 | 0.05117 | 133 | 102 | 22 | 9 |
1220 | Meet Bob-our new head of diversity and inclusion. | 1.3008 | 0.04651 | 133 | 98 | 30 | 5 |
1221 | Let me introduce our diversity hire, Bob. | 1.3008 | 0.05117 | 133 | 102 | 22 | 9 |
1222 | Chet, our diversity officer, says we need to hire more white males. | 1.3008 | 0.04651 | 133 | 98 | 30 | 5 |
1223 | Please meet Jeff, our new diversity hire. | 1.3008 | 0.04889 | 133 | 100 | 26 | 7 |
1224 | See, I told you guys humans existed. | 1.3008 | 0.05117 | 133 | 102 | 22 | 9 |
1225 | Noah, the board has voted you out. We've decided to rule the planet ourselves without you humans and the other animals. Take some time off. Maybe get a boat. | 1.3000 | 0.04416 | 160 | 120 | 32 | 8 |
1226 | Sorry, I was using the phrase 'fresh blood' metaphorically. | 1.3000 | 0.04675 | 160 | 123 | 26 | 11 |
1227 | Let's give a warm welcome to our new diversity hire. | 1.3000 | 0.04590 | 160 | 122 | 28 | 10 |
1228 | I believe I made it very clear that Bring Your Human to Work Day is on Wednesday, Gargablat! | 1.3000 | 0.04416 | 160 | 120 | 32 | 8 |
1229 | I know, I know. But HR says we have GOT to start walking the talk on diversity. | 1.3000 | 0.04234 | 160 | 118 | 36 | 6 |
1230 | I think Steve can bring a more human touch to our business. | 1.3000 | 0.04416 | 160 | 118 | 32 | 8 |
1231 | I know he smells, but we have hot sauce. | 1.3000 | 0.04416 | 160 | 119 | 32 | 8 |
1232 | Meet Stanley, our diversity hire. | 1.3000 | 0.05197 | 130 | 100 | 21 | 9 |
1233 | I want you all to meet an ET who has come to visit us. | 1.2992 | 0.05281 | 127 | 98 | 20 | 9 |
1234 | Don't let the opposable thumbs fool you, Henry is a cold blooded litigator. | 1.2992 | 0.05039 | 127 | 96 | 24 | 7 |
1235 | So then I got this great deal on a little cottage in Area 51.... | 1.2984 | 0.05119 | 124 | 94 | 23 | 7 |
1236 | I’ll just come out and say it, it’s the elephant in the room... Bob from accounting just looks funny. | 1.2981 | 0.04118 | 161 | 118 | 38 | 5 |
1237 | Someone didn’t get the memo about casual Friday’s | 1.2981 | 0.04303 | 161 | 122 | 31 | 8 |
1238 | Now, we're all monsters...and we've done some terrible things, but Paul and his fellow humans have found a way to destroy an entire planet. So, let's give it up for Paul from Ohio! We need more Pauls in the galaxy. | 1.2977 | 0.05163 | 131 | 101 | 21 | 9 |
1239 | Welcome to the Inhuman Resources Department. | 1.2975 | 0.04623 | 158 | 121 | 27 | 10 |
1240 | If we're really serious about diversity then we have to take him seriously. | 1.2975 | 0.04354 | 158 | 118 | 33 | 7 |
1241 | C'mon in, Leonard. We are fully committed to a policy of diversity in the boardroom. | 1.2975 | 0.04535 | 158 | 120 | 29 | 9 |
1242 | Fred here will be leading us in today's Diversity Workshop | 1.2975 | 0.04445 | 158 | 119 | 31 | 8 |
1243 | Due to recent incidents, Phil from HR will now review our dorsal fin discrimination policy. | 1.2975 | 0.04354 | 158 | 118 | 33 | 7 |
1244 | I know he looks like the dog's breakfast, but his beauty is on the inside. | 1.2975 | 0.04354 | 158 | 118 | 33 | 7 |
1245 | And now my fellow reptilians, Mr. Homo Sapien will present an update on earthly climate change. | 1.2975 | 0.04260 | 158 | 117 | 35 | 6 |
1246 | Please welcome Mr. Armstrong - he joins us from a place called Area 51 | 1.2975 | 0.04445 | 158 | 119 | 31 | 8 |
1247 | The new guy is called Greg, Derek, and he's more of a monster than you'll ever be. He puts mayonnaise on hot dogs. | 1.2973 | 0.05519 | 111 | 85 | 19 | 7 |
1248 | Meet, Victor, the scientist who modified our genes." | 1.2968 | 0.04111 | 155 | 113 | 38 | 4 |
1249 | Remember when we told this guy he was the new head of marketing?! He looked at us like we were from outer space. | 1.2968 | 0.04406 | 155 | 116 | 32 | 7 |
1250 | Who ordered the human? | 1.2968 | 0.04406 | 155 | 116 | 32 | 7 |
1251 | This is Jim from Human Resources. | 1.2968 | 0.04406 | 155 | 116 | 32 | 7 |
1252 | This is Ted. He is here to walk us through some rebranding concepts. | 1.2968 | 0.03902 | 155 | 111 | 42 | 2 |
1253 | No, this is Steve, our new accountant. Lunch is named Trevor, and should be here any minute. | 1.2968 | 0.04683 | 155 | 119 | 26 | 10 |
1254 | Sorry Morris, you are not a good fit for this organization...... | 1.2968 | 0.04501 | 155 | 117 | 30 | 8 |
1255 | Everyone, this is Larry, our lunch... | 1.2968 | 0.04683 | 155 | 119 | 26 | 10 |
1256 | We decided to go with an outside hire! This is Dave. | 1.2968 | 0.04501 | 155 | 117 | 30 | 8 |
1257 | Eddie comes to us from a long line of Munsters" | 1.2968 | 0.04683 | 155 | 119 | 26 | 10 |
1258 | This is Roger. Don't worry, he's a monster on the inside. | 1.2968 | 0.04310 | 155 | 115 | 34 | 6 |
1259 | Who invited the extraterrestrial? | 1.2968 | 0.04212 | 155 | 114 | 36 | 5 |
1260 | It’s the new HR Director’s idea of diversity. | 1.2968 | 0.04683 | 155 | 119 | 26 | 10 |
1261 | Bob, you're fired...and you are also going to be lunch. | 1.2968 | 0.04593 | 155 | 118 | 28 | 9 |
1262 | The consultants insisted we boost our HR. | 1.2968 | 0.04406 | 155 | 116 | 32 | 7 |
1263 | Try not to stare at his odd shaped proboscis. | 1.2966 | 0.04861 | 118 | 91 | 21 | 6 |
1264 | Meet Jim. He chews with his mouth open. | 1.2963 | 0.05305 | 108 | 81 | 22 | 5 |
1265 | I think we need to address the elephant in the room. | 1.2961 | 0.04925 | 152 | 119 | 21 | 12 |
1266 | Yes, accounting. | 1.2961 | 0.04461 | 152 | 114 | 31 | 7 |
1267 | Here comes Norm! | 1.2961 | 0.04261 | 152 | 112 | 35 | 5 |
1268 | Gentlemen, we may have an image problem. | 1.2961 | 0.04652 | 152 | 116 | 27 | 9 |
1269 | I move that we eat the mammal. Seconder? | 1.2961 | 0.04558 | 152 | 115 | 29 | 8 |
1270 | Norm is here to help us think differently. | 1.2961 | 0.04558 | 152 | 115 | 29 | 8 |
1271 | I took the liberty of ordering lunch. | 1.2961 | 0.04362 | 152 | 113 | 33 | 6 |
1272 | Jeffords here is the second of our non monster hires. I assured him he will not be eaten. | 1.2961 | 0.04745 | 152 | 117 | 25 | 10 |
1273 | Let's give a global -warming welcome for our new species | 1.2961 | 0.04052 | 152 | 110 | 39 | 3 |
1274 | Here is the latest model of scary monsters- the corporate CEO | 1.2961 | 0.04652 | 152 | 116 | 27 | 9 |
1275 | Folks, lunch has arrived! | 1.2961 | 0.04652 | 152 | 116 | 27 | 9 |
1276 | Can everyone please stop scratching the table. | 1.2961 | 0.04261 | 152 | 112 | 35 | 5 |
1277 | The Ark leaves in 5 minutes. All aboard! | 1.2961 | 0.04261 | 152 | 112 | 35 | 5 |
1278 | Who forgot to send him the “clothing optional” memo? | 1.2961 | 0.04158 | 152 | 111 | 37 | 4 |
1279 | Our company's diversity-in-hiring initiative appears to be working. | 1.2961 | 0.04745 | 152 | 117 | 25 | 10 |
1280 | Meet Carl, our company’s latest example of human error | 1.2955 | 0.06082 | 88 | 67 | 16 | 5 |
1281 | Are there any dietary restrictions? | 1.2949 | 0.04189 | 156 | 115 | 36 | 5 |
1282 | If we aren’t careful, we’ll end up like him. | 1.2949 | 0.04287 | 156 | 116 | 34 | 6 |
1283 | Lunch will be served shortly. | 1.2949 | 0.04287 | 156 | 116 | 34 | 6 |
1284 | So, all in favor, say 'ervzpfosjf.' | 1.2949 | 0.04382 | 156 | 117 | 32 | 7 |
1285 | It’s okay. Diverse groups make better decisions. | 1.2949 | 0.04567 | 156 | 119 | 28 | 9 |
1286 | I see our lunch is here. | 1.2949 | 0.04657 | 156 | 120 | 26 | 10 |
1287 | I know, I know - but remember your diversity training. | 1.2949 | 0.04382 | 156 | 117 | 32 | 7 |
1288 | I’d like to thank everyone for attending our “Diversity in the Workplace” meetin | 1.2949 | 0.04089 | 156 | 114 | 38 | 4 |
1289 | This is Ken, and he'll be crunching numbers until The Count comes back. | 1.2949 | 0.04382 | 156 | 117 | 32 | 7 |
1290 | Meet our new diversity hire | 1.2949 | 0.04189 | 156 | 115 | 36 | 5 |
1291 | I say we pick up where we left off “bar scene in Star Wars” | 1.2949 | 0.04382 | 156 | 117 | 32 | 7 |
1292 | This is Dustin, our diversity hire. | 1.2949 | 0.04657 | 156 | 120 | 26 | 10 |
1293 | Derrick here will outline our new marketing plan and then we will eat him. | 1.2949 | 0.04567 | 156 | 119 | 28 | 9 |
1294 | The meeting will commence after we eat the caterer. | 1.2949 | 0.04089 | 156 | 114 | 38 | 4 |
1295 | It appears lunch has arrived. | 1.2949 | 0.04567 | 156 | 119 | 28 | 9 |
1296 | To improve diversity, I nominate this rich, white male for the vacant seat on the Board. | 1.2949 | 0.04189 | 156 | 115 | 36 | 5 |
1297 | Team, meet Larry. He's our new Human Resource member. | 1.2949 | 0.03987 | 156 | 113 | 40 | 3 |
1298 | We're now going to hear from the company's diversity champion. | 1.2949 | 0.04382 | 156 | 117 | 32 | 7 |
1299 | Bob works in Human Resources. | 1.2949 | 0.04189 | 156 | 117 | 33 | 6 |
1300 | I know he’s not much to look at but let’s make him welcome anyway. | 1.2949 | 0.04382 | 156 | 117 | 32 | 7 |
1301 | Remember, beauty is only skin deep. | 1.2949 | 0.04382 | 156 | 117 | 32 | 7 |
1302 | oh good,Delivery Dudes just sent us lunch. | 1.2949 | 0.04089 | 156 | 114 | 38 | 4 |
1303 | This is Dane from HR. He’s here to help us resolve the ‘scales in the breakroom’ problem. | 1.2949 | 0.04567 | 156 | 119 | 28 | 9 |
1304 | This is Steven, our newest member. I know someone you are hesitant to identify Steven as a monster but he just cheated on his wife with her sister. | 1.2949 | 0.04476 | 156 | 118 | 30 | 8 |
1305 | It's time we discussed the human in the room. | 1.2949 | 0.04382 | 156 | 117 | 32 | 7 |
1306 | Didn't you get the memo that today is Casual Friday, Frank? | 1.2949 | 0.04476 | 156 | 118 | 30 | 8 |
1307 | 'This is Melvin, our new head of Human Resources. Hungry? He's your guy.' | 1.2949 | 0.04567 | 156 | 119 | 28 | 9 |
1308 | According to Bert here from our analytics unit, either we strategically evolve or we lose market share. | 1.2949 | 0.04287 | 156 | 116 | 34 | 6 |
1309 | Please welcome our newest member with open mouths. | 1.2949 | 0.04287 | 156 | 121 | 26 | 8 |
1310 | Their appearance is terrifying but are we sure they plan to harm us? | 1.2949 | 0.04382 | 156 | 117 | 32 | 7 |
1311 | Perhaps we should break for lunch. | 1.2949 | 0.04567 | 156 | 119 | 27 | 9 |
1312 | I’ve asked Bob here to take all of our ideas and bring them down to Earth. | 1.2949 | 0.04476 | 156 | 118 | 30 | 8 |
1313 | This is my partner Simon. He’s in real estate and is an Aquarius. | 1.2949 | 0.04657 | 156 | 120 | 26 | 10 |
1314 | I told you lunch would be here soon. | 1.2949 | 0.04287 | 156 | 116 | 34 | 6 |
1315 | I think it's fair to say that we have met our strategic Plan goal for diversity. | 1.2949 | 0.04567 | 156 | 119 | 28 | 9 |
1316 | I finally have my fantasy board of directors team! | 1.2949 | 0.04476 | 156 | 118 | 30 | 8 |
1317 | So if we added 10 pounds you would be more likely to buy him for roasting? | 1.2949 | 0.04476 | 156 | 118 | 30 | 8 |
1318 | This place has the weirdest waiters. | 1.2949 | 0.04089 | 156 | 114 | 38 | 4 |
1319 | He's at the table, but don't worry he's still on the menu. | 1.2949 | 0.04476 | 156 | 118 | 30 | 8 |
1320 | No one is scarier than our accountant | 1.2949 | 0.04567 | 156 | 119 | 28 | 9 |
1321 | So no one told the new guy about casual Friday? | 1.2949 | 0.04476 | 156 | 118 | 30 | 8 |
1322 | Forget about Russia. We'll show them what real foreign interference looks like in the 2020 election. | 1.2946 | 0.05437 | 129 | 102 | 16 | 11 |
1323 | Motion to assent that the tie is awesome. | 1.2946 | 0.05092 | 129 | 99 | 22 | 8 |
1324 | Sure, an audit can be scary, but that doesn't make Todd a monster. | 1.2941 | 0.04532 | 153 | 116 | 29 | 8 |
1325 | Show of hands. Should he join us in the swamp? | 1.2941 | 0.04338 | 153 | 114 | 33 | 6 |
1326 | Our ideas are getting stale and tame so I invited him in hopes of shaking things up. | 1.2941 | 0.04436 | 153 | 115 | 31 | 7 |
1327 | The applicant's request for membership is denied! | 1.2937 | 0.04921 | 126 | 95 | 25 | 6 |
1328 | Maybe naked musical chairs just isn't your game. | 1.2936 | 0.05727 | 109 | 85 | 16 | 8 |
1329 | One of these things is not like the others, one of these things just doesn't belong. | 1.2933 | 0.04874 | 150 | 117 | 22 | 11 |
1330 | Diversity is good. | 1.2933 | 0.04288 | 150 | 111 | 34 | 5 |
1331 | Fear not, he's one of OUR lawyers. | 1.2933 | 0.04687 | 150 | 115 | 26 | 9 |
1332 | Allow me to introduce the appetizer . . . | 1.2933 | 0.04492 | 150 | 113 | 30 | 7 |
1333 | Who knew Bigfoot could clean up so well, right? | 1.2933 | 0.04781 | 150 | 116 | 24 | 10 |
1334 | Everyone, this is Harold, an IRS auditor. He'll be working with our 35-55 demographic. | 1.2933 | 0.04590 | 150 | 114 | 28 | 8 |
1335 | If we eat him, he can't testify. | 1.2933 | 0.04492 | 150 | 113 | 30 | 7 |
1336 | I say we table the earnings discussion and move on to Item 2... pronouns. | 1.2933 | 0.04391 | 150 | 112 | 32 | 6 |
1337 | So, we need to get our stories coordinated on Ukraine... | 1.2933 | 0.04687 | 150 | 115 | 26 | 9 |
1338 | I know he looks human but he's not that bad. | 1.2933 | 0.04687 | 150 | 115 | 26 | 9 |
1339 | Who ordered lame-ass for dessert? | 1.2933 | 0.04492 | 150 | 113 | 30 | 7 |
1340 | The ayes have it, 4-3. Mankind is now officially a member of the Extinction Club! | 1.2933 | 0.04687 | 150 | 115 | 26 | 9 |
1341 | One of these things is not like the other, one of these things doesn't belong... | 1.2933 | 0.04492 | 150 | 113 | 30 | 7 |
1342 | So I understand you are all applying for the President's Cabinet? | 1.2933 | 0.04687 | 150 | 115 | 26 | 9 |
1343 | Umm...sure. This IS a costume party. | 1.2933 | 0.04687 | 150 | 115 | 26 | 9 |
1344 | So Robert, got any rules of disorder?” | 1.2933 | 0.04492 | 150 | 113 | 30 | 7 |
1345 | Everybody, I'd like to introduce Phil, our new chief of diversity. | 1.2933 | 0.04288 | 150 | 111 | 34 | 5 |
1346 | Everybody, shh shh shh. It's here. | 1.2933 | 0.04590 | 150 | 114 | 28 | 8 |
1347 | One-size-fits-all MAGA hats will not work for us. | 1.2933 | 0.04590 | 150 | 114 | 28 | 8 |
1348 | Shall we find Funny Face a seat? | 1.2933 | 0.04340 | 150 | 114 | 29 | 7 |
1349 | Despite this year’s efforts, 68% of Americans still think evolution is a hoax. | 1.2933 | 0.04492 | 150 | 113 | 30 | 7 |
1350 | You have nothing to worry about. Bill is just here to observe. | 1.2933 | 0.04182 | 150 | 110 | 36 | 4 |
1351 | Who invited Picasso? | 1.2933 | 0.04687 | 150 | 115 | 26 | 9 |
1352 | So, as promised, Lenny here is going to explain to us what white privilege is and why we should care. | 1.2933 | 0.04492 | 150 | 113 | 30 | 7 |
1353 | He's our new Human Resources manager. | 1.2933 | 0.04590 | 150 | 114 | 28 | 8 |
1354 | I think it's time we talk about the elephant in the room. | 1.2933 | 0.04590 | 150 | 114 | 28 | 8 |
1355 | He’s our new temp, try not to stare! | 1.2933 | 0.04391 | 150 | 112 | 32 | 6 |
1356 | Meet Jim. His wife sent him to Monsters Anonymous. | 1.2933 | 0.04590 | 150 | 114 | 28 | 8 |
1357 | And this is Doctor Seuss Who'll put us to good use. | 1.2933 | 0.04590 | 150 | 114 | 28 | 8 |
1358 | Let's try not to eat the job applicant this time, please. | 1.2933 | 0.04965 | 150 | 118 | 20 | 12 |
1359 | Gentlemen, my lawyer has given me very good news. We are no longer considered alien invaders. We are now undocumented citizens. And wait until you see the goodies that go with that! | 1.2933 | 0.04781 | 150 | 116 | 24 | 10 |
1360 | Memo from HR, it's a diversity issue. | 1.2933 | 0.04182 | 150 | 110 | 36 | 4 |
1361 | Everyone say hi to Ralph, this is his first day in cartoons. | 1.2933 | 0.04874 | 150 | 117 | 22 | 11 |
1362 | Mr Dubrow from the truck dealership is here to talk about big tires, big noise, and big fun. | 1.2927 | 0.05128 | 123 | 94 | 22 | 7 |
1363 | You say you want a r-evolution... | 1.2927 | 0.04997 | 123 | 93 | 24 | 6 |
1364 | We're out of chairs. Whose lap do you want to sit on? | 1.2927 | 0.04997 | 123 | 93 | 24 | 6 |
1365 | It’s come to our attention that there’s not enough white males here. | 1.2927 | 0.04861 | 123 | 92 | 26 | 5 |
1366 | Now to address the elephant in the room... | 1.2927 | 0.05382 | 123 | 96 | 18 | 9 |
1367 | Let’s welcome Jim, our newest hire. He has yet to drink the Kool-Aid. | 1.2927 | 0.04997 | 123 | 93 | 24 | 6 |
1368 | This is our new recruit. I thought you would all like to have him in for lunch. | 1.2927 | 0.04997 | 123 | 93 | 24 | 6 |
1369 | Sorry, bud, humans don't get a chair until they stop destroying their planet. | 1.2917 | 0.05076 | 120 | 91 | 23 | 6 |
1370 | Dave here would like to ask whoever’s been taking his pepperoni pizza from the break room to please stop.. | 1.2917 | 0.05212 | 120 | 92 | 21 | 7 |
1371 | Twelve angry men? | 1.2914 | 0.04660 | 151 | 116 | 26 | 9 |
1372 | Him? This year we've cut out the middle man for our "magic" meat. | 1.2905 | 0.04523 | 148 | 112 | 29 | 7 |
1373 | Alright, that's lunch. Great work everyone. | 1.2905 | 0.04818 | 148 | 115 | 23 | 10 |
1374 | I’m happy that a candidate is finally seeking the support of actual deplorables! | 1.2905 | 0.04818 | 148 | 115 | 23 | 10 |
1375 | Do I have a consensual tweet, grunt, growl and/or galactic hiss on his 'out of cage' privileges? | 1.2905 | 0.04722 | 148 | 114 | 25 | 9 |
1376 | I think its time to address the intern in the room. | 1.2905 | 0.04420 | 148 | 111 | 31 | 6 |
1377 | So, Deke is going to inherit the earth. | 1.2905 | 0.04523 | 148 | 112 | 29 | 7 |
1378 | Let's face it. We're aren't FAKE NEWS anymore! | 1.2905 | 0.04623 | 148 | 113 | 27 | 8 |
1379 | People like him used to sit in all your seats. | 1.2905 | 0.04420 | 148 | 111 | 31 | 6 |
1380 | Who ordered the human with dressing? | 1.2905 | 0.04818 | 148 | 115 | 23 | 10 |
1381 | All those opposed to draining the swamp, signify by raising whatever." | 1.2905 | 0.04523 | 148 | 112 | 29 | 7 |
1382 | Faculty meeting after long day at school | 1.2905 | 0.04818 | 148 | 115 | 23 | 10 |
1383 | Meet Jason, our new diversity consultant. | 1.2905 | 0.04523 | 148 | 112 | 29 | 7 |
1384 | Everybody, Dinner. Dinner, everybody. | 1.2905 | 0.04420 | 148 | 111 | 31 | 6 |
1385 | Dave, our apologies but the condo board decided you would just be too evolved for the building. | 1.2905 | 0.04623 | 148 | 113 | 27 | 8 |
1386 | What I actually said was 'Fred IS lunch'... | 1.2905 | 0.04420 | 148 | 111 | 31 | 6 |
1387 | Give Bob your lunch orders. | 1.2905 | 0.04315 | 148 | 110 | 33 | 5 |
1388 | Bob has been elected to join the Foreign Intelligence Committee. Let’s do our best to make sure he doesn’t feel alienated. | 1.2905 | 0.04722 | 148 | 114 | 25 | 9 |
1389 | Gary from HR is here to talk about appropriate workplace conduct. | 1.2905 | 0.04420 | 148 | 111 | 31 | 6 |
1390 | And now, we have a representative from the “Human” race. Please, don’t eat him. | 1.2905 | 0.04623 | 148 | 113 | 27 | 8 |
1391 | I know, but he was much easier to train than the monkey | 1.2905 | 0.04420 | 148 | 111 | 31 | 6 |
1392 | Meet Bob Smith, our new diversity consultant. | 1.2905 | 0.04420 | 148 | 111 | 31 | 6 |
1393 | This is Jerry from Human Resources | 1.2905 | 0.04818 | 148 | 115 | 23 | 10 |
1394 | Bob here is our new Head of Sales! Or lunch, if that doesn't work out. Peter Dolch, Chappaqua, NY | 1.2905 | 0.04722 | 148 | 114 | 25 | 9 |
1395 | Aliens say hi to bob, the feast will begin shortly, so start saying by to bob | 1.2905 | 0.04523 | 148 | 111 | 29 | 7 |
1396 | Hideous creatures of the universe, I have found the vilest of us all. He's a lawyer. | 1.2905 | 0.04818 | 148 | 115 | 23 | 10 |
1397 | Todd's here to help us imagine more realistic nightmares. | 1.2905 | 0.04315 | 148 | 110 | 33 | 5 |
1398 | You'll be happy to know, tech support has arrived. | 1.2886 | 0.04694 | 149 | 115 | 25 | 9 |
1399 | Well fellows ... this is what my mother would have called a "motley crew!" | 1.2883 | 0.05337 | 111 | 85 | 20 | 6 |
1400 | Everyone, meet Keith. He’s our diversity hire. | 1.2881 | 0.05121 | 118 | 90 | 22 | 6 |
1401 | Sorry House committees, Trump is running late. | 1.2877 | 0.04342 | 146 | 109 | 32 | 5 |
1402 | Gentlemen please meet Irwin, our lunch. | 1.2877 | 0.04450 | 146 | 110 | 30 | 6 |
1403 | Jim will be joining us because the company feels he'll be delicious. | 1.2877 | 0.04450 | 146 | 110 | 30 | 6 |
1404 | He didn't get the "clothing optional Fridays" memo. | 1.2877 | 0.04450 | 146 | 110 | 30 | 6 |
1405 | Wow! Who dressed YOU today? | 1.2877 | 0.04657 | 146 | 112 | 26 | 8 |
1406 | And now for the scariest one of all, please welcome our attorney. | 1.2877 | 0.04758 | 146 | 113 | 24 | 9 |
1407 | This is Bob; he'll be leading our transition management team. | 1.2877 | 0.04342 | 146 | 109 | 32 | 5 |
1408 | He may be a white male, but he's Our White Male. | 1.2877 | 0.04342 | 146 | 109 | 32 | 5 |
1409 | Who invited the weird-o? | 1.2877 | 0.04657 | 146 | 112 | 26 | 8 |
1410 | We're sorry but you're a little too creepy for this group. | 1.2877 | 0.04450 | 146 | 110 | 30 | 6 |
1411 | Are we all going to just ignore the 167 pound human in the room? | 1.2877 | 0.04232 | 146 | 108 | 34 | 4 |
1412 | No worries! Area 52 is three doors down on the left. | 1.2877 | 0.04657 | 146 | 112 | 26 | 8 |
1413 | And to expand our diversity training . . . | 1.2877 | 0.04657 | 146 | 112 | 26 | 8 |
1414 | This is Bert, our new affirmative action hire. | 1.2877 | 0.04342 | 146 | 109 | 32 | 5 |
1415 | Who invited this monster? | 1.2877 | 0.04555 | 146 | 111 | 28 | 7 |
1416 | Look, here comes lunch. | 1.2877 | 0.04450 | 146 | 110 | 30 | 6 |
1417 | Now, when we bring in the cable news cameras, it is essential that you express your adulation effusively. | 1.2877 | 0.04342 | 146 | 109 | 32 | 5 |
1418 | I promise, we're just PRETENDING to drain the swamp. | 1.2877 | 0.04758 | 146 | 113 | 24 | 9 |
1419 | Allow me to introduce our new employee who helps us meet our Homo sapiens quota. | 1.2877 | 0.04232 | 146 | 108 | 34 | 4 |
1420 | Pat's preferred pronoun is They. | 1.2877 | 0.04450 | 146 | 110 | 30 | 6 |
1421 | It’s time our company branches out and opens its doors to the white man. | 1.2877 | 0.04758 | 146 | 113 | 24 | 9 |
1422 | This is our latest prototype, just in time for the 2020 elections. | 1.2857 | 0.04424 | 147 | 111 | 30 | 6 |
1423 | He’s the only one qualified for Human Resources. | 1.2857 | 0.04528 | 147 | 112 | 28 | 7 |
1424 | It's ok! He's here legally. | 1.2857 | 0.04630 | 147 | 113 | 26 | 8 |
1425 | This is our year to win! | 1.2857 | 0.04208 | 147 | 109 | 34 | 4 |
1426 | You have a problem with the appetizer? | 1.2857 | 0.04208 | 147 | 109 | 34 | 4 |
1427 | We've agreed not to eat or drink any part of the intern until he's read the minutes from our last meeting. | 1.2857 | 0.04208 | 147 | 109 | 34 | 4 |
1428 | Grezelzip has informed me that he has decided to identify as 'human'." | 1.2857 | 0.04729 | 147 | 114 | 24 | 9 |
1429 | It's that time of year again. Max is here will be explaining your new insurance options. | 1.2857 | 0.04729 | 147 | 114 | 24 | 9 |
1430 | I'd like you to welcome, Brad. His species went extinct on a planet he calls "Earth". | 1.2857 | 0.04729 | 147 | 114 | 24 | 9 |
1431 | Who let this weirdo in? | 1.2857 | 0.04317 | 147 | 110 | 32 | 5 |
1432 | Hey, who’s the freak in the suit? | 1.2857 | 0.04317 | 147 | 110 | 32 | 5 |
1433 | We're getting a lot of criticism for a lack of diversity on our board, so we hired a white, middle-aged man. | 1.2857 | 0.04630 | 147 | 113 | 26 | 8 |
1434 | Ted's here to join us for lunch" | 1.2857 | 0.04528 | 147 | 112 | 28 | 7 |
1435 | Well. This is embarrassing. | 1.2857 | 0.04317 | 147 | 110 | 32 | 5 |
1436 | Nightmares are up 20% this quarter. | 1.2857 | 0.04630 | 147 | 116 | 22 | 9 |
1437 | I see the diversity training is coming along nicely. | 1.2857 | 0.04528 | 147 | 112 | 28 | 7 |
1438 | Everyone, welcome our new diversity hire, Reggie. | 1.2857 | 0.04096 | 147 | 108 | 36 | 3 |
1439 | Look intimidating. His worst nightmare is a pointless meeting. | 1.2857 | 0.04827 | 147 | 115 | 22 | 10 |
1440 | He’s a Rhodes Scholar, got his law degree from Harvard and has a PhD in Public Policy. I also understand he’ll be quite delicious. | 1.2857 | 0.04317 | 147 | 110 | 32 | 5 |
1441 | He's probably harmless. Just don't make eye contact. | 1.2857 | 0.04729 | 147 | 114 | 24 | 9 |
1442 | This is Barry, our new immigration lawyer. | 1.2857 | 0.04208 | 147 | 109 | 34 | 4 |
1443 | Just remember, four legs good, two legs . . . | 1.2857 | 0.04528 | 147 | 112 | 28 | 7 |
1444 | This is Noah to my left, who will be detailing the travel arrangements. | 1.2857 | 0.04528 | 147 | 112 | 28 | 7 |
1445 | Another one from HR? | 1.2857 | 0.04424 | 147 | 111 | 30 | 6 |
1446 | Is anybody going to eat this last one? | 1.2857 | 0.04729 | 147 | 114 | 24 | 9 |
1447 | This is our new hire, hu-man. | 1.2857 | 0.04528 | 147 | 112 | 28 | 7 |
1448 | Don't worry, guys. He's a monster alright. | 1.2857 | 0.04096 | 147 | 108 | 36 | 3 |
1449 | Here at MONSTER, Inc. we are committed to diversity. | 1.2847 | 0.04370 | 144 | 108 | 31 | 5 |
1450 | Ralph suggests yellow chiffon | 1.2845 | 0.05167 | 116 | 89 | 21 | 6 |
1451 | Jim will oversee the next phase of our diversity outreach. | 1.2845 | 0.05310 | 116 | 90 | 19 | 7 |
1452 | Welcome to the 80th annual 'How to Trick not Treat', conference! | 1.2845 | 0.04711 | 116 | 86 | 27 | 3 |
1453 | I'd like to introduce Bob, who is either a new intern or brunch. | 1.2837 | 0.03941 | 141 | 102 | 38 | 1 |
1454 | Gentleman, this is our new image consultant James, who made Bernie Madoff almost seem human. | 1.2837 | 0.04648 | 141 | 108 | 26 | 7 |
1455 | Mr. Dershowitz, here, believes that we may be able to use Lawrence v. Texas to finally come out of the closet... | 1.2837 | 0.04538 | 141 | 107 | 28 | 6 |
1456 | Let's take a break....I see lunch has arrived. | 1.2837 | 0.04309 | 141 | 105 | 32 | 4 |
1457 | We have one year to run those Facebook ads and win this thing! | 1.2837 | 0.04861 | 141 | 110 | 22 | 9 |
1458 | Meet our inclusion and diversity officer." | 1.2837 | 0.04756 | 141 | 109 | 24 | 8 |
1459 | So, that's the final decision. We will all get behind the mammal. | 1.2837 | 0.04538 | 141 | 107 | 28 | 6 |
1460 | I call the first meeting of ex-cabinet members to order! | 1.2837 | 0.04648 | 141 | 110 | 23 | 8 |
1461 | Please welcome Ned, he's here to liven up the meeting. | 1.2837 | 0.04648 | 141 | 108 | 26 | 7 |
1462 | Meet Bob. Our new Head of Diversity. | 1.2837 | 0.04648 | 141 | 108 | 26 | 7 |
1463 | Welcome to the Committee, Frank. Ork will show you where the wild things are. | 1.2837 | 0.04538 | 141 | 107 | 28 | 6 |
1464 | No it's cool guys, he's a politician | 1.2837 | 0.04425 | 141 | 106 | 30 | 5 |
1465 | Jim’s a debt collector. He’s here to help with your scare tactics. | 1.2837 | 0.04965 | 141 | 111 | 20 | 10 |
1466 | You guys remember Mikey? He was that scary monster over our beds all those years ago. | 1.2837 | 0.04756 | 141 | 109 | 24 | 8 |
1467 | Ah, I see lunch has just arrived. | 1.2837 | 0.04648 | 141 | 108 | 26 | 7 |
1468 | Bob, recognizing his inexcusable omission, tried to explain the absence of donuts. | 1.2837 | 0.04648 | 141 | 108 | 26 | 7 |
1469 | There's one in every crowd! | 1.2837 | 0.04190 | 141 | 104 | 34 | 3 |
1470 | The guy from planet Omega was even uglier. | 1.2837 | 0.04309 | 141 | 105 | 32 | 4 |
1471 | Remember, we’re government contractors. | 1.2837 | 0.04756 | 141 | 109 | 24 | 8 |
1472 | Gentlemen, we have achieved Diversity.” | 1.2837 | 0.04425 | 141 | 106 | 30 | 5 |
1473 | Ok boomer. | 1.2837 | 0.04648 | 141 | 108 | 26 | 7 |
1474 | This is our new colleague. I expect that you will make him feel welcome, even though he is a monster. | 1.2837 | 0.04861 | 141 | 110 | 22 | 9 |
1475 | But guys, think how he'll up our diversity profile! | 1.2837 | 0.04538 | 141 | 107 | 28 | 6 |
1476 | I think Monsters & Steve Inc. has a nice ring to it. | 1.2837 | 0.04861 | 141 | 110 | 22 | 9 |
1477 | We’re going to build a wall. | 1.2837 | 0.04309 | 141 | 105 | 32 | 4 |
1478 | It's time we all addressed the elephant in the room. | 1.2837 | 0.04648 | 141 | 108 | 26 | 7 |
1479 | Folks, meet the new star of our latest horror film! | 1.2837 | 0.04425 | 141 | 109 | 26 | 6 |
1480 | All in favor, say ‘Grvbbzzztklks.’ | 1.2837 | 0.04648 | 141 | 108 | 26 | 7 |
1481 | He might not be much to look at, but his work is out of this world. | 1.2837 | 0.04648 | 141 | 108 | 26 | 7 |
1482 | Take your "Human to Work Day" | 1.2837 | 0.04756 | 141 | 109 | 24 | 8 |
1483 | Now Cosgrove here will walk us through the empathy phase. | 1.2837 | 0.04756 | 141 | 109 | 24 | 8 |
1484 | Uh oh, here comes Doug. Be nice. He’s sensitive about his appearance. | 1.2837 | 0.04538 | 141 | 107 | 28 | 6 |
1485 | I see you all got the message to come as you are. | 1.2837 | 0.04538 | 141 | 107 | 28 | 6 |
1486 | Does anyone have questions for Phil about our health care plan? | 1.2837 | 0.04756 | 141 | 109 | 24 | 8 |
1487 | Well I say it’s time we relaxed the no coat rule | 1.2837 | 0.04538 | 141 | 107 | 28 | 6 |
1488 | Please meet today's menu option. | 1.2837 | 0.04425 | 141 | 106 | 30 | 5 |
1489 | Welcome to the meeting for nightmares. This is Ben, the IRS agent. | 1.2837 | 0.04756 | 141 | 109 | 24 | 8 |
1490 | Everyone meet Greg...he’ll be leading our new Human Resources department | 1.2837 | 0.04538 | 141 | 107 | 28 | 6 |
1491 | Dave here has just been hired to address the lack of diversity on our team. I'm sure we will benefit by his views as a male. | 1.2837 | 0.04538 | 141 | 107 | 28 | 6 |
1492 | I get it! Dino's dressed up as a human being for Halloween! | 1.2837 | 0.04756 | 141 | 109 | 24 | 8 |
1493 | And now, your final test for inherent bias. | 1.2837 | 0.04756 | 141 | 109 | 24 | 8 |
1494 | All those in favor of eating Alfred, say aye" | 1.2837 | 0.04861 | 141 | 110 | 22 | 9 |
1495 | Stop drooling. He's not organic. | 1.2837 | 0.04538 | 141 | 107 | 28 | 6 |
1496 | George here is in marketing, obviously. | 1.2837 | 0.04425 | 141 | 108 | 27 | 6 |
1497 | Voting to decide Herb's admission to the Odd Fellow's Club. | 1.2837 | 0.04482 | 141 | 108 | 27 | 6 |
1498 | Is he the new diversity hire? | 1.2837 | 0.04538 | 141 | 107 | 28 | 6 |
1499 | I think we all know what a great job Ed has done as Vice President for Diversity. | 1.2837 | 0.04538 | 141 | 107 | 28 | 6 |
1500 | Bad news, team. They drained our swamp. | 1.2837 | 0.04425 | 141 | 106 | 30 | 5 |
1501 | Upper management here has long-been committed to diversity. | 1.2837 | 0.04425 | 141 | 106 | 30 | 5 |
1502 | Look at the nose on this guy! | 1.2833 | 0.05046 | 120 | 92 | 22 | 6 |
1503 | So The first step in our new on boarding policy is for each of us to share our Myers Briggs type. | 1.2832 | 0.05402 | 113 | 88 | 18 | 7 |
1504 | Here's Richard from 23 and Me to go over the geneology results. | 1.2832 | 0.05402 | 113 | 88 | 18 | 7 |
1505 | Our test group is not satisfied with new design of your chairs. | 1.2828 | 0.04765 | 145 | 113 | 23 | 9 |
1506 | Please offer a biped-friendly seat to our guest and state your pronouns. | 1.2828 | 0.04864 | 145 | 114 | 21 | 10 |
1507 | I thought a middle-aged white guy might help diversify the board. | 1.2828 | 0.04344 | 145 | 109 | 31 | 5 |
1508 | In the grand scheme of things, we're all God's children. | 1.2826 | 0.05642 | 92 | 70 | 18 | 4 |
1509 | So we’re clear! We put all humans, except Dick here, in terrariums. | 1.2818 | 0.05187 | 110 | 84 | 21 | 5 |
1510 | Well, Horace. Maybe if you didn't take so much time tying the perfect Windsor knot, there would be place for you to sit. | 1.2818 | 0.05795 | 110 | 88 | 13 | 9 |
1511 | And this is Steve from The Diversity & Inclusion program. | 1.2817 | 0.04727 | 142 | 110 | 24 | 8 |
1512 | I will now turn it over to Bob, who will talk about the new company-wide dress code. | 1.2809 | 0.05977 | 89 | 69 | 15 | 5 |
1513 | The test results on the new drug we slipped into the last meeting's water are in | 1.2806 | 0.04793 | 139 | 108 | 23 | 8 |
1514 | This is Ted. He'll be our lunch today. | 1.2806 | 0.04682 | 139 | 107 | 25 | 7 |
1515 | Bob has a different take on our complete world domination strategy. | 1.2806 | 0.04454 | 139 | 105 | 29 | 5 |
1516 | I hired them on Monster.com | 1.2806 | 0.04793 | 139 | 108 | 23 | 8 |
1517 | 'The judge wants to know if you've reached a decision'. | 1.2806 | 0.04454 | 139 | 105 | 29 | 5 |
1518 | He always hits Reply All. | 1.2806 | 0.04454 | 139 | 105 | 29 | 5 |
1519 | Let's everyone welcome my new lead attorney to our White House anti-impeachment war room. | 1.2806 | 0.04454 | 139 | 105 | 29 | 5 |
1520 | This is our new intern Raj. Please don't eat him. | 1.2806 | 0.04214 | 139 | 103 | 33 | 3 |
1521 | Yes, at this morning's meeting, we have one very weird looking guest. | 1.2806 | 0.04793 | 139 | 108 | 23 | 8 |
1522 | Thank you all for agreeing to serve. This is by far the most competent Cabinet assembled over the last 3 years. | 1.2806 | 0.04682 | 139 | 107 | 25 | 7 |
1523 | This earthling is a fine specific for the prehistoric alien doll | 1.2806 | 0.04570 | 139 | 106 | 27 | 6 |
1524 | I second the motion to eat the pizza looking dude. | 1.2806 | 0.04151 | 139 | 105 | 30 | 4 |
1525 | Yes he’s edible. More importantly he’s my new assistant. | 1.2806 | 0.04900 | 139 | 109 | 21 | 9 |
1526 | And now a word from our Diversity Officer. | 1.2806 | 0.04214 | 139 | 103 | 33 | 3 |
1527 | Our appetizer this evening is Neil. | 1.2806 | 0.04570 | 139 | 106 | 27 | 6 |
1528 | Watch it! Here comes one, now. | 1.2806 | 0.03825 | 139 | 100 | 39 | 0 |
1529 | I'd like to call the diversity committee to order. | 1.2806 | 0.04336 | 139 | 104 | 31 | 4 |
1530 | Greetings, fellow mutants! | 1.2806 | 0.04454 | 139 | 105 | 29 | 5 |
1531 | I think we can assure Human Resources that we will not again celebrate our success by eating our Diversity Officer. | 1.2806 | 0.04682 | 139 | 107 | 25 | 7 |
1532 | Gross, he's wearing a tie! | 1.2806 | 0.04336 | 139 | 104 | 31 | 4 |
1533 | Forget about where the wild things are - let's focus on where the wild things lunch. | 1.2806 | 0.04570 | 139 | 106 | 27 | 6 |
1534 | This is Arnold. He's part of our diversity initiative." --Gerard Black Laurelton, New Yor | 1.2806 | 0.04336 | 139 | 104 | 31 | 4 |
1535 | So we've hired Marv, here, to be the new fresh face of the company. | 1.2806 | 0.04088 | 139 | 104 | 31 | 3 |
1536 | Hard to remember that far back but before B school I’m pretty sure I looked like him too | 1.2806 | 0.04682 | 139 | 107 | 25 | 7 |
1537 | Seems Mr. Butterworth was the only chap who didn't take those funny little candies my teenage son offered us. | 1.2806 | 0.04682 | 139 | 107 | 25 | 7 |
1538 | Don't worry, he doesn't understand a word we're saying | 1.2806 | 0.04682 | 139 | 107 | 25 | 7 |
1539 | All in favor of this affirmative action admission please raise your appendage. | 1.2806 | 0.04336 | 139 | 106 | 28 | 5 |
1540 | Each of us would like a slice of Impeachment Pie... and a box of wine. | 1.2806 | 0.04570 | 139 | 106 | 27 | 6 |
1541 | So this is the White House Zoo | 1.2806 | 0.04682 | 139 | 107 | 25 | 7 |
1542 | And now for a real scare; Gary from accounting has some news. | 1.2806 | 0.04570 | 139 | 106 | 27 | 6 |
1543 | He may not look like a monster, but you should see him when the wifi is slow | 1.2806 | 0.04793 | 139 | 108 | 23 | 8 |
1544 | And for you, Gwendoline, there’s Tofu a la Grecque. | 1.2806 | 0.04793 | 139 | 108 | 23 | 8 |
1545 | So is the Board serious about our diversity mission statement? | 1.2806 | 0.04214 | 139 | 103 | 33 | 3 |
1546 | All in favor of Dennis Kucinich as 2024 US President say 'aye'. | 1.2806 | 0.04793 | 139 | 108 | 23 | 8 |
1547 | He looks harmless enough | 1.2806 | 0.04214 | 139 | 103 | 33 | 3 |
1548 | He says we should wear suits so we blend in. | 1.2806 | 0.04454 | 139 | 105 | 29 | 5 |
1549 | I'll let Bob explain the science, but the good news is devolution is happening. And it's happening now. | 1.2806 | 0.04570 | 139 | 106 | 27 | 6 |
1550 | We need to reach the Human market. | 1.2806 | 0.04088 | 139 | 102 | 35 | 2 |
1551 | He may look harmless, but he’s got a sharp tongue | 1.2806 | 0.04454 | 139 | 105 | 29 | 5 |
1552 | I know $50,000 a month sounds like a lot for a board member, but it's worth it if you consider he knows nothing about our planet or our business. | 1.2806 | 0.04793 | 139 | 108 | 23 | 8 |
1553 | I don't care what the law says. We shouldn't have to admit anyone to our club that doesn't look like us! | 1.2806 | 0.04570 | 139 | 106 | 27 | 6 |
1554 | I've called you all here today to discuss the climate crisis. | 1.2806 | 0.04682 | 139 | 107 | 25 | 7 |
1555 | Hi Everyone, this is Benny from accounting who is going to tutor us on how to use macros in Excel. | 1.2806 | 0.04454 | 139 | 105 | 29 | 5 |
1556 | Once again, scaremonger of the month goes to algebra guy. | 1.2806 | 0.04454 | 139 | 105 | 29 | 5 |
1557 | Good news, everyone! My son Jerry's brought over one his Democrat friends again! | 1.2806 | 0.04454 | 139 | 105 | 29 | 5 |
1558 | I suggest we adjourn for lunch. | 1.2806 | 0.04682 | 139 | 107 | 25 | 7 |
1559 | And the NEW float for the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade is Leonard the Accountant!! | 1.2806 | 0.04900 | 139 | 109 | 21 | 9 |
1560 | If our new board member would kindly remove his clothes, we can begin. | 1.2806 | 0.04682 | 139 | 107 | 25 | 7 |
1561 | Area 51 humor; "A priest, a rabbi, and an imam walk into a spaceship." | 1.2804 | 0.05277 | 107 | 82 | 20 | 5 |
1562 | I hear that new guy's a real monster. | 1.2786 | 0.04541 | 140 | 107 | 27 | 6 |
1563 | Wow. the new guy is really creepy. | 1.2786 | 0.04427 | 140 | 106 | 29 | 5 |
1564 | Everyone, meet Dan, our new affirmative action policy hire. | 1.2786 | 0.04762 | 140 | 109 | 23 | 8 |
1565 | He said we should wait for the purple people eater | 1.2786 | 0.04427 | 140 | 106 | 29 | 5 |
1566 | Time for a break. Our lunch as arrived. | 1.2786 | 0.04762 | 140 | 107 | 23 | 8 |
1567 | Introducing Non-GMO. | 1.2786 | 0.04427 | 140 | 106 | 29 | 5 |
1568 | Now you're complaining? We all agreed we needed an attorney. | 1.2786 | 0.04427 | 140 | 106 | 29 | 5 |
1569 | Jim is here to talk to us today about open enrollment. Please give him your full attention and try not to eat him. | 1.2786 | 0.04653 | 140 | 108 | 25 | 7 |
1570 | This is our new Diversity Hire, Chad. | 1.2786 | 0.04653 | 140 | 108 | 25 | 7 |
1571 | Don't let the suit fool you: George can eat a bucket of uranium in three minutes. | 1.2778 | 0.05398 | 108 | 84 | 18 | 6 |
1572 | I present to you Pete, he's a horrible monster too. He uses mayonnaise on his fries. | 1.2778 | 0.05709 | 108 | 86 | 14 | 8 |
1573 | To start things off this morning, it looks like we could all use a cup of coffee. | 1.2778 | 0.05235 | 108 | 83 | 20 | 5 |
1574 | We can't eat him. He's the new accountant. | 1.2774 | 0.04940 | 137 | 108 | 20 | 9 |
1575 | See, I told you lunch would be served with a smile today. | 1.2774 | 0.04830 | 137 | 107 | 22 | 8 |
1576 | Before you say anything, just give Steve a chance; he gets real weird. | 1.2774 | 0.03768 | 137 | 109 | 22 | 4 |
1577 | You are all fired! | 1.2774 | 0.04484 | 137 | 104 | 28 | 5 |
1578 | This is Dave from Affirmative Action. | 1.2774 | 0.04484 | 137 | 104 | 28 | 5 |
1579 | Human on our Board? Show of paws. | 1.2774 | 0.04717 | 137 | 106 | 24 | 7 |
1580 | Dave from Adult Nightmares is here to tell us about audits. | 1.2774 | 0.04602 | 137 | 105 | 26 | 6 |
1581 | Here at Nightmares International, we're adding the 'guy next door' category, who in today's world of is as scary and dangerous as any one of us. | 1.2774 | 0.04940 | 137 | 108 | 20 | 9 |
1582 | This is Bob. He too joins us in costume as an endangered species: the honest Boeing executive. | 1.2774 | 0.05047 | 137 | 109 | 18 | 10 |
1583 | Please welcome Gary, our new Human Resources representative. | 1.2774 | 0.04830 | 137 | 107 | 22 | 8 |
1584 | I had breakfast delivered! | 1.2774 | 0.04602 | 137 | 105 | 26 | 6 |
1585 | Now let's all welcome Mr. Jones to the diversity committee. | 1.2774 | 0.04238 | 137 | 102 | 32 | 3 |
1586 | He's here to talk about the new dress code. | 1.2774 | 0.04830 | 137 | 107 | 22 | 8 |
1587 | Neil will be our first course today. | 1.2774 | 0.04717 | 137 | 106 | 24 | 7 |
1588 | Let's welcome Sam-I-Ain't to our little group os Seuss rejects! | 1.2774 | 0.04940 | 137 | 108 | 20 | 9 |
1589 | Kangaroo court jury duty. | 1.2774 | 0.04109 | 137 | 101 | 34 | 2 |
1590 | Who's up for a monster mash? | 1.2774 | 0.04484 | 137 | 104 | 28 | 5 |
1591 | Somebody forget their deodorant this morning? | 1.2774 | 0.04602 | 137 | 105 | 26 | 6 |
1592 | Looks may be deceiving, but he’s infamous in hostile takeovers. | 1.2774 | 0.04363 | 137 | 103 | 30 | 4 |
1593 | This is James. He's our first course tonight. | 1.2774 | 0.03908 | 137 | 110 | 22 | 5 |
1594 | He’s our diversity hire. | 1.2774 | 0.04830 | 137 | 107 | 22 | 8 |
1595 | Gorgle boc Andy Kaufman loogle. | 1.2774 | 0.04717 | 137 | 109 | 20 | 8 |
1596 | I thought we said no partners. | 1.2774 | 0.04363 | 137 | 103 | 30 | 4 |
1597 | Let’s break for lunch | 1.2774 | 0.04602 | 137 | 105 | 26 | 6 |
1598 | This is Donald three sticks; you might know his grandfather from the recently incinerated planet Earth. | 1.2774 | 0.04940 | 137 | 108 | 20 | 9 |
1599 | Our numbers are falling, folks, particularly in the under-the-bed and in-the-closet demographics. | 1.2774 | 0.04484 | 137 | 104 | 28 | 5 |
1600 | This is the management consultant who will lead or diversity training. | 1.2774 | 0.04484 | 137 | 104 | 28 | 5 |
1601 | This meeting of the top ranking GOP Senators is hereby called to order. Self-serve lunch is currently in the corner. | 1.2774 | 0.04940 | 137 | 108 | 20 | 9 |
1602 | I'm from a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away. | 1.2774 | 0.04602 | 137 | 105 | 26 | 6 |
1603 | We are gathered here as a result of Bill’s weird imagination... | 1.2774 | 0.04830 | 137 | 107 | 22 | 8 |
1604 | How many times do we have to tell you that it’s not yet Halloween, Jeff? | 1.2774 | 0.04830 | 137 | 107 | 22 | 8 |
1605 | Now, presenting our guest for dinner tonight... | 1.2774 | 0.04109 | 137 | 103 | 31 | 3 |
1606 | This is Beasley, human resource. | 1.2774 | 0.04484 | 137 | 104 | 28 | 5 |
1607 | I don't know why he's dressed like that, either, but be nice. | 1.2774 | 0.04830 | 137 | 107 | 22 | 8 |
1608 | Dude. It's casual Friday. | 1.2774 | 0.04363 | 137 | 103 | 30 | 4 |
1609 | Fred decided on a trickle-down or treat approach to Halloween. | 1.2774 | 0.04717 | 137 | 106 | 24 | 7 |
1610 | I think we should incorporate. | 1.2774 | 0.04484 | 137 | 104 | 28 | 5 |
1611 | Hi, my name is Mike and I've been a human for 34 years | 1.2774 | 0.04602 | 137 | 105 | 26 | 6 |
1612 | I know you're all anxious to hear about lunch. Matt, could you please introduce yourself to the board? | 1.2774 | 0.04484 | 137 | 104 | 28 | 5 |
1613 | We could use some more diversity around this place.” | 1.2774 | 0.04484 | 137 | 104 | 28 | 5 |
1614 | We love you Mr. President | 1.2774 | 0.04940 | 137 | 108 | 20 | 9 |
1615 | Are you lunch? | 1.2774 | 0.04363 | 137 | 103 | 30 | 4 |
1616 | He's fast too. | 1.2774 | 0.04484 | 137 | 104 | 28 | 5 |
1617 | I would like to introduce Tim,our new affirmative action hire. | 1.2774 | 0.04830 | 137 | 107 | 22 | 8 |
1618 | This is Jim. He’ll be in charge of our costume department. | 1.2774 | 0.04602 | 137 | 105 | 26 | 6 |
1619 | I guess they weren't kidding when they said the upper management are real monsters. | 1.2774 | 0.05047 | 137 | 109 | 18 | 10 |
1620 | In conclusion, though we are all different, we are exactly alike underneath. | 1.2774 | 0.04602 | 137 | 105 | 26 | 6 |
1621 | Management felt like we needed to add some diversity to the board. | 1.2774 | 0.04717 | 137 | 106 | 24 | 7 |
1622 | And now I'm pleased to introduce our new diversity hire! | 1.2774 | 0.04363 | 137 | 103 | 30 | 4 |
1623 | Do we have room at the table for one more monster? | 1.2774 | 0.04717 | 137 | 106 | 24 | 7 |
1624 | Here comes the diversity hire! | 1.2774 | 0.04109 | 137 | 101 | 34 | 2 |
1625 | The boss is sensitive so don’t mention his scar. | 1.2774 | 0.04602 | 137 | 105 | 26 | 6 |
1626 | So it settled. We Pickett Area 51 for equal rights. | 1.2774 | 0.04484 | 137 | 104 | 28 | 5 |
1627 | All those in favor raise your hand..... or foot....or whatever. | 1.2774 | 0.04238 | 137 | 102 | 32 | 3 |
1628 | I'm pleased to say we're making good on our diversity initiative! | 1.2774 | 0.04830 | 137 | 107 | 22 | 8 |
1629 | Well, you’ve got the Seven Deadly Sins. How may we hinder you? | 1.2774 | 0.04717 | 137 | 106 | 24 | 7 |
1630 | John will be leading our diversity workshop today. | 1.2774 | 0.04830 | 137 | 107 | 22 | 8 |
1631 | No, it's more about what he does. | 1.2774 | 0.04602 | 137 | 105 | 26 | 6 |
1632 | Next up is the role of the bumbling lab assistant who triggers the disaster. | 1.2774 | 0.04717 | 137 | 106 | 24 | 7 |
1633 | We always strive to be "all inclusive" | 1.2774 | 0.04363 | 137 | 103 | 30 | 4 |
1634 | I'm delighted to introduce today's Director of HR. Lunch! | 1.2774 | 0.04363 | 137 | 103 | 30 | 4 |
1635 | Putting aside for the moment the entire issue of table manners... | 1.2774 | 0.04717 | 137 | 106 | 24 | 7 |
1636 | So, how is Area 51 this time of year? | 1.2774 | 0.04717 | 137 | 106 | 24 | 7 |
1637 | Meet Phil,our new head of human resources. | 1.2774 | 0.04717 | 137 | 106 | 24 | 7 |
1638 | Anyone have any adverse experiences during our LSD clinical trial they would like to report? | 1.2774 | 0.04717 | 137 | 106 | 24 | 7 |
1639 | ...and he says any unsavory activity could result in a DNA test. | 1.2774 | 0.04602 | 137 | 105 | 26 | 6 |
1640 | Everyone welcome our diversity hire, Rick. | 1.2774 | 0.04484 | 137 | 104 | 28 | 5 |
1641 | With the success he's had with GEICO and AFLAC, Mr. Quigley is here to give us some tips on becoming corporate spokesmen. | 1.2774 | 0.04717 | 137 | 106 | 24 | 7 |
1642 | While there's no wrong answers, there are inquisitive idiots. | 1.2768 | 0.05262 | 112 | 87 | 19 | 6 |
1643 | And now Phil, from the chemical plant, will explain how we can all qualify for valuable prizes just by signing some paperwork. | 1.2768 | 0.05412 | 112 | 88 | 17 | 7 |
1644 | In the interest of diversity, I' thought it would be a good idea to interview a white male. | 1.2768 | 0.05412 | 112 | 88 | 17 | 7 |
1645 | Gentlemen, we're going to have to get more serious about presenting an appearance of diversity. | 1.2768 | 0.04781 | 112 | 84 | 25 | 3 |
1646 | Funny looking, isn't he? | 1.2754 | 0.04212 | 138 | 103 | 32 | 3 |
1647 | Why is Zorg the only one of you dressed for Halloween? | 1.2754 | 0.04335 | 138 | 104 | 30 | 4 |
1648 | Is there room at the table for an immigrant | 1.2754 | 0.04456 | 138 | 105 | 28 | 5 |
1649 | Would you all please get your hands off my abdomen. | 1.2754 | 0.04573 | 138 | 106 | 26 | 6 |
1650 | The challenge we face is how our brand of terror and fear can compete with current events. | 1.2752 | 0.04855 | 109 | 82 | 24 | 3 |
1651 | This is the architect who nixed the gargoyle idea. | 1.2752 | 0.05354 | 109 | 85 | 18 | 6 |
1652 | Look, we've all known for a while now that one of us just doesn't fit here anymore, so I'll say it; Bob, those moles are disgusting. | 1.2752 | 0.05510 | 109 | 86 | 16 | 7 |
1653 | Bad news, guys. They chose an Earth bird called turkey to honor at the new "Thanksgiving" bash. I hear on Earth, one turkey gets to meet the president. Maybe the other birds get better prizes. | 1.2743 | 0.05370 | 113 | 89 | 17 | 7 |
1654 | Welcome, Fred. We feel you'll fit right in. | 1.2743 | 0.05221 | 113 | 88 | 19 | 6 |
1655 | What is pepperoni pizza slice doing here? | 1.2743 | 0.05515 | 113 | 90 | 15 | 8 |
1656 | Its unanimous then, we'll eat Greg. | 1.2743 | 0.05221 | 113 | 88 | 19 | 6 |
1657 | Not quite the borschst belt, but Myerson here has booked us a gig playing the cantina in Mos Eisley. All in favor? | 1.2743 | 0.05515 | 113 | 90 | 15 | 8 |
1658 | He's my nephew. | 1.2741 | 0.04262 | 135 | 106 | 25 | 4 |
1659 | I see nobody else dressed up for Szelqxaart | 1.2741 | 0.04753 | 135 | 105 | 23 | 7 |
1660 | For the first order of business of the Imaginary Friends Club, I present our newest member: Husband Material. | 1.2741 | 0.04867 | 135 | 106 | 21 | 8 |
1661 | Now that Fred's back from vacation, he has a few questions about the last two weeks. | 1.2741 | 0.04635 | 135 | 104 | 25 | 6 |
1662 | This is Bill. He's from VERY FAR AWAY! | 1.2741 | 0.04635 | 135 | 104 | 25 | 6 |
1663 | OK, anyone opposed to eating Kevin? | 1.2741 | 0.04635 | 135 | 104 | 25 | 6 |
1664 | Hey look, a human costume. | 1.2741 | 0.04390 | 135 | 102 | 29 | 4 |
1665 | Jerry, this is our board--they've promised not to eat you. | 1.2741 | 0.04390 | 135 | 102 | 29 | 4 |
1666 | This is Cal, our new Chief Diversity Officer. | 1.2741 | 0.04262 | 135 | 101 | 31 | 3 |
1667 | Don't be alarmed it's only the human monster here to give us an update. | 1.2741 | 0.04635 | 135 | 104 | 25 | 6 |
1668 | This is Bob...our token human. | 1.2741 | 0.04514 | 135 | 103 | 27 | 5 |
1669 | This is the future! | 1.2741 | 0.04390 | 135 | 102 | 29 | 4 |
1670 | Sorry folks, didn't think the human would actually show up! | 1.2741 | 0.04390 | 135 | 102 | 29 | 4 |
1671 | Just act normal. | 1.2741 | 0.04514 | 135 | 103 | 27 | 5 |
1672 | Alright, which one of us is the tasting menu? | 1.2741 | 0.04514 | 135 | 103 | 27 | 5 |
1673 | George is here today to pitch the merits of clothing. | 1.2741 | 0.04635 | 135 | 104 | 25 | 6 |
1674 | GOOD NEWS1 We're all going to be in the next STAR WARS movie. | 1.2741 | 0.04635 | 135 | 104 | 25 | 6 |
1675 | I'm not sure you will fit in | 1.2741 | 0.04390 | 135 | 102 | 29 | 4 |
1676 | Meet Eugene. He is not from these parts. | 1.2741 | 0.04262 | 135 | 101 | 31 | 3 |
1677 | Then it's setled. Capitalism wins. We'll eat the humans. | 1.2727 | 0.04699 | 132 | 102 | 24 | 6 |
1678 | You know, it's nice to meet out from under the bed sometimes. | 1.2727 | 0.04699 | 132 | 102 | 24 | 6 |
1679 | Hey, if he doesn’t work out we can always eat him. | 1.2727 | 0.04446 | 132 | 100 | 28 | 4 |
1680 | Ok. Back to the drawing board for this one. | 1.2727 | 0.04699 | 132 | 102 | 24 | 6 |
1681 | On Earth, all the males look the same, so we only brought one in. | 1.2727 | 0.05710 | 99 | 78 | 15 | 6 |
1682 | I'd like you all to meet our new intern, Charles Darwin. | 1.2727 | 0.04574 | 132 | 101 | 26 | 5 |
1683 | He doesn’t fit in this cabinet | 1.2727 | 0.04574 | 132 | 101 | 26 | 5 |
1684 | I see that Jenkins didn't get the memo about come-as-you-are Fridays. | 1.2727 | 0.04821 | 132 | 103 | 22 | 7 |
1685 | And most monstrous of all: Patrick, our lawyer. | 1.2721 | 0.04485 | 136 | 104 | 27 | 5 |
1686 | He’s from a relatively new species. | 1.2721 | 0.04485 | 136 | 105 | 24 | 5 |
1687 | He may not seem scary yet, but wait 'til he starts his PowerPoint. | 1.2721 | 0.04362 | 136 | 103 | 29 | 4 |
1688 | To top off our diversity recruitment, I'm delighted to introduce.... | 1.2721 | 0.04485 | 136 | 104 | 27 | 5 |
1689 | Hal must have missed the message about casual Friday. | 1.2721 | 0.04485 | 136 | 104 | 27 | 5 |
1690 | Chad has some interesting ideas how to expand beyond our current targeted demographic. | 1.2721 | 0.04362 | 136 | 103 | 29 | 4 |
1691 | Who should we eat next? Show of hands? | 1.2721 | 0.04485 | 136 | 104 | 27 | 5 |
1692 | Our next item of business - "Lunch Presentation" - was a little misleading. | 1.2721 | 0.04836 | 136 | 107 | 21 | 8 |
1693 | Which of you ordered lunch? | 1.2721 | 0.04235 | 136 | 104 | 28 | 4 |
1694 | Careful. He’s got a power tie. | 1.2721 | 0.04722 | 136 | 106 | 23 | 7 |
1695 | The chair will recognize Mr. Hobbes. Mr. Hobbes? | 1.2721 | 0.04105 | 136 | 101 | 33 | 2 |
1696 | We said we need a new perspective, but hiring him may be going too far | 1.2721 | 0.04722 | 136 | 106 | 23 | 7 |
1697 | Whoa, check out Bob's crazy Halloween costume! | 1.2721 | 0.04605 | 136 | 105 | 25 | 6 |
1698 | Meet Josh Davidson, homo sapien! | 1.2721 | 0.04605 | 136 | 105 | 25 | 6 |
1699 | As you know we are an equal opportunity employer. | 1.2721 | 0.04235 | 136 | 102 | 31 | 3 |
1700 | He wanted to do a lunch, so I say let's! | 1.2721 | 0.04235 | 136 | 102 | 31 | 3 |
1701 | Have you all met our host? | 1.2721 | 0.04235 | 136 | 104 | 28 | 4 |
1702 | Bob may look a little different, but he's one heck of an accountant. | 1.2721 | 0.04605 | 136 | 105 | 25 | 6 |
1703 | Glad to have you. The last guy was a monster. | 1.2721 | 0.04722 | 136 | 106 | 23 | 7 |
1704 | Please welcome our new pink, fleshy, and delicious intern. | 1.2721 | 0.04485 | 136 | 104 | 27 | 5 |
1705 | So you're THE Hieronimus Bosch? | 1.2721 | 0.04605 | 136 | 105 | 25 | 6 |
1706 | Hey! Take off your clothes. Let's see what ya got! | 1.2721 | 0.04722 | 136 | 106 | 23 | 7 |
1707 | If it works with him, we can hire a female specimen next time. | 1.2721 | 0.04485 | 136 | 104 | 27 | 5 |
1708 | Clearly, our strength is we are not carbon copies. | 1.2721 | 0.04836 | 136 | 107 | 21 | 8 |
1709 | Keep up the good work-- our profits are monstrous! | 1.2721 | 0.04722 | 136 | 106 | 23 | 7 |
1710 | Live human up for grabs,boys ... | 1.2721 | 0.04722 | 136 | 106 | 23 | 7 |
1711 | And now a word from our Diversity Department. . . . | 1.2721 | 0.04722 | 136 | 106 | 23 | 7 |
1712 | No, Xanor, Kevin is in *charge* of lunch, he is not on the menu. | 1.2721 | 0.04605 | 136 | 105 | 25 | 6 |
1713 | This is our new intern, and, coincidentally, lunch. | 1.2721 | 0.04722 | 136 | 106 | 23 | 7 |
1714 | And the next we're going to hear from the cartoonist who created all of us! | 1.2721 | 0.04947 | 136 | 108 | 19 | 9 |
1715 | I think Jim is right, no one is going to scare anybody if we're always in a meeting. | 1.2721 | 0.04722 | 136 | 106 | 23 | 7 |
1716 | Everybody welcome Todd. Don't let appearances fool you. He's an ANIMAL! | 1.2721 | 0.04485 | 136 | 104 | 27 | 5 |
1717 | I’ve invited Jeremy for lunch, shall we give our thanks... | 1.2721 | 0.04485 | 136 | 104 | 27 | 5 |
1718 | All in favor of expanding to G8, say “Aye.” | 1.2721 | 0.04485 | 136 | 104 | 27 | 5 |
1719 | Darren here is a billionaire so he’s more of a monster than any of you. | 1.2721 | 0.04947 | 136 | 108 | 19 | 9 |
1720 | Diversity, schmaversity. We just can’t have a middle-aged white male human. | 1.2721 | 0.04836 | 136 | 107 | 21 | 8 |
1721 | He's casting the next version of Star Wars. | 1.2721 | 0.04722 | 136 | 106 | 23 | 7 |
1722 | Good question Dave, if one foot is dangling off the bed, that means they don't want it anymore. | 1.2721 | 0.05056 | 136 | 109 | 17 | 10 |
1723 | Relax. You've got this. Just imagine them naked! | 1.2721 | 0.04605 | 136 | 105 | 25 | 6 |
1724 | Fred, your human costume, just might be too scary for the Monster's Ball. | 1.2721 | 0.04362 | 136 | 103 | 29 | 4 |
1725 | Maurice Sendak is sorry but he can’t make today’s meeting | 1.2721 | 0.04485 | 136 | 104 | 27 | 5 |
1726 | We’ve come a long way since the Star Wars bar. | 1.2721 | 0.04722 | 136 | 106 | 23 | 7 |
1727 | I’d like everyone to say hello to our newest diversity hire, Norm. | 1.2721 | 0.04235 | 136 | 102 | 31 | 3 |
1728 | How would Darwin explain this? | 1.2721 | 0.04836 | 136 | 107 | 21 | 8 |
1729 | Due to some recent negative posts on the invasion,Glen will now be managing our corporate Twitter Earth account. | 1.2721 | 0.05056 | 136 | 109 | 17 | 10 |
1730 | I hired him to make us look good. | 1.2721 | 0.04235 | 136 | 102 | 31 | 3 |
1731 | We need gender diversity, too. | 1.2721 | 0.04362 | 136 | 103 | 29 | 4 |
1732 | Did every president before me have such a problem finding advisors who fit in? | 1.2721 | 0.04605 | 136 | 105 | 25 | 6 |
1733 | They're called clothes. It's a human thing. | 1.2721 | 0.04235 | 136 | 102 | 31 | 3 |
1734 | Who wants to chase our new intern first? | 1.2721 | 0.04605 | 136 | 105 | 25 | 6 |
1735 | I want to introduce Wilfred Wagner our new diversity officer. | 1.2721 | 0.04485 | 136 | 104 | 27 | 5 |
1736 | I’d like to meet Bob he’s the last holdover from the 21st-century | 1.2721 | 0.04485 | 136 | 104 | 27 | 5 |
1737 | Who sprang for the hors d'oeuvre? | 1.2721 | 0.04605 | 136 | 105 | 25 | 6 |
1738 | We brought Steve in to offer the white, male, human perspective. | 1.2721 | 0.04362 | 136 | 103 | 29 | 4 |
1739 | I worry that, despite our efforts at diversity, our board does not look enough like America. | 1.2721 | 0.04836 | 136 | 107 | 21 | 8 |
1740 | After traveling so many light-years, he confirmed the answer is still 42 | 1.2721 | 0.04836 | 136 | 107 | 21 | 8 |
1741 | I’d like to introduce our newest board member, Chuck Darwin. | 1.2721 | 0.04362 | 136 | 103 | 29 | 4 |
1742 | I’d like to introduce Carl, who will be leading today’s diversity training. | 1.2721 | 0.04605 | 136 | 105 | 25 | 6 |
1743 | And for our special treat today, Elmer from accounting. | 1.2721 | 0.04722 | 136 | 106 | 23 | 7 |
1744 | As we've had challengess with the Earth market, we've brought in Joe. | 1.2721 | 0.04605 | 136 | 105 | 25 | 6 |
1745 | Bob's here because we have an issue with diversity. | 1.2721 | 0.04605 | 136 | 105 | 25 | 6 |
1746 | Welcome the next endangered species. | 1.2721 | 0.04605 | 136 | 105 | 25 | 6 |
1747 | Mr.George Orwell will be recording the minutes of all our meetings.. | 1.2721 | 0.04722 | 136 | 106 | 23 | 7 |
1748 | Great job tricking the new guy to dress for Halloween guys! | 1.2721 | 0.04722 | 136 | 106 | 23 | 7 |
1749 | This year's best costume contest prize goes to Bob in HR. | 1.2721 | 0.04105 | 136 | 101 | 33 | 2 |
1750 | All in favor of keeping Phil as Chairman raise you tentacle, claw, flipper, whatever... | 1.2721 | 0.04722 | 136 | 106 | 23 | 7 |
1751 | Bob here is going to talk about "Diversity in the Workplace." | 1.2721 | 0.04485 | 136 | 104 | 27 | 5 |
1752 | Yes, ugly, but loaded! | 1.2721 | 0.04485 | 136 | 104 | 27 | 5 |
1753 | We've chosen Tim to represent Earth, since he's the only one who answered our email. | 1.2721 | 0.04722 | 136 | 106 | 23 | 7 |
1754 | Meet our new Human Resource Manager. | 1.2721 | 0.04485 | 136 | 104 | 27 | 5 |
1755 | So we are agreed. We call him Gecko? | 1.2721 | 0.04947 | 136 | 108 | 19 | 9 |
1756 | I called this meeting to address problems, both real and imagined. | 1.2721 | 0.04605 | 136 | 105 | 25 | 6 |
1757 | He uses the pronouns "He", "His" and "Him" | 1.2718 | 0.05378 | 103 | 80 | 18 | 5 |
1758 | So please give your attention to Ted Davis from HR who’s here to talk about diversity. | 1.2707 | 0.04417 | 133 | 101 | 28 | 4 |
1759 | I brought lunch. | 1.2707 | 0.04417 | 133 | 101 | 28 | 4 |
1760 | Please welcome our new intern. I believe he represents the future. | 1.2707 | 0.04417 | 133 | 101 | 28 | 4 |
1761 | Okay. We finally have the food. | 1.2707 | 0.04544 | 133 | 102 | 26 | 5 |
1762 | This is George. He's our new diversity hire. | 1.2707 | 0.04286 | 133 | 100 | 30 | 3 |
1763 | Dave is here from human resources to update us on workplace bullying. | 1.2707 | 0.04544 | 133 | 102 | 26 | 5 |
1764 | The new guy would like permission to telecommute. | 1.2707 | 0.04544 | 133 | 102 | 26 | 5 |
1765 | Before we vote, Bob wants to share his views on our elimination of all mankind proposal. | 1.2707 | 0.04906 | 133 | 105 | 20 | 8 |
1766 | Can sales begin by explaining why our volumes are under water again this quarter? | 1.2707 | 0.04668 | 133 | 103 | 24 | 6 |
1767 | I thought we were all going to the party as humans this year. | 1.2707 | 0.04544 | 133 | 102 | 26 | 5 |
1768 | Our final applicant is Marvin. He's 5'7", 140 pounds. Anyone opposed to eating Marvin, aaah, I mean having him join our club, please raise an appendage. | 1.2707 | 0.04668 | 133 | 103 | 24 | 6 |
1769 | John is our diversity hire. | 1.2707 | 0.04151 | 133 | 99 | 32 | 2 |
1770 | As you know, I'm filling in for our esteemed leader while he's being impeached. | 1.2707 | 0.04906 | 133 | 105 | 20 | 8 |
1771 | Well, I see we've met our diversity requirements. | 1.2707 | 0.04286 | 133 | 99 | 29 | 3 |
1772 | Jim's our new intern. Don't eat him before the end of the semester. | 1.2707 | 0.04668 | 133 | 103 | 24 | 6 |
1773 | He's our new diversity consultant. | 1.2707 | 0.04544 | 133 | 102 | 26 | 5 |
1774 | I want to make it perfectly clear that John was not selected to meet a quota. | 1.2707 | 0.04417 | 133 | 101 | 28 | 4 |
1775 | We need a translator | 1.2707 | 0.04668 | 133 | 103 | 24 | 6 |
1776 | They thought that this board could use some diversity. | 1.2707 | 0.04286 | 133 | 102 | 26 | 4 |
1777 | I vote we let him go and capture someone with better antidotes. | 1.2707 | 0.04544 | 133 | 104 | 23 | 6 |
1778 | We're having Steve for lunch today. | 1.2707 | 0.04668 | 133 | 103 | 24 | 6 |
1779 | I'm all for diversity but this is getting out of hand. | 1.2707 | 0.04417 | 133 | 101 | 28 | 4 |
1780 | There is always one who doesn't dress up for Halloween. | 1.2707 | 0.04789 | 133 | 104 | 22 | 7 |
1781 | None of us want to, but we have to address the white male in the room. | 1.2707 | 0.04789 | 133 | 104 | 22 | 7 |
1782 | And now, with “How to Annihilate a planet”, here’s Bob. | 1.2707 | 0.04906 | 133 | 105 | 20 | 8 |
1783 | I must say - they’ve perfected lumbar. | 1.2707 | 0.04417 | 133 | 101 | 28 | 4 |
1784 | I guess it's not a myth! Humans do live under the bed! | 1.2707 | 0.04668 | 133 | 103 | 24 | 6 |
1785 | Please welcome our new recruit from the Diversity and Equity program, Dave! | 1.2707 | 0.04544 | 133 | 102 | 25 | 5 |
1786 | Yeah, so I ate his brain, so sue me. | 1.2707 | 0.04668 | 133 | 103 | 24 | 6 |
1787 | Hey everyone, this is Tim. I think he’ll fit right in. | 1.2707 | 0.04544 | 133 | 102 | 26 | 5 |
1788 | Who wants to be on the dress-code committee? | 1.2707 | 0.04417 | 133 | 103 | 22 | 5 |
1789 | Look what I found on top of my bed. | 1.2707 | 0.04544 | 133 | 102 | 26 | 5 |
1790 | Well, then if no one wants to eat Bob, we're adjourned. | 1.2707 | 0.04668 | 133 | 103 | 24 | 6 |
1791 | I usually don’t introduce people at staff meetings. | 1.2707 | 0.04544 | 133 | 102 | 26 | 5 |
1792 | I don't know what you guys are looking at. I heard there was food. | 1.2707 | 0.04668 | 133 | 103 | 24 | 6 |
1793 | Think of this as the one upside of climate change. | 1.2707 | 0.04668 | 133 | 103 | 24 | 6 |
1794 | If we are going to take diversity seriously, we should hire him. | 1.2707 | 0.04286 | 133 | 100 | 30 | 3 |
1795 | Everybody, this is Ted. Ted's joining us from Newton-Mackie, has years of experience in supply chain management, and doesn't mind the occasional bite. I refer you to the recent email from HR for your guidelines vis-à-vis biting protocols. | 1.2707 | 0.05133 | 133 | 107 | 16 | 10 |
1796 | Token white man | 1.2707 | 0.04668 | 133 | 103 | 24 | 6 |
1797 | Order!..Order! James is now taking our lunch orders. | 1.2707 | 0.04668 | 133 | 103 | 24 | 6 |
1798 | Yes, I know. He's hideous. but scooch over and make room anyway. It's the least we can do. | 1.2707 | 0.04417 | 133 | 101 | 28 | 4 |
1799 | He's new. Try not to stare | 1.2707 | 0.04417 | 133 | 101 | 28 | 4 |
1800 | Gomez Addams has agreed to be our facilitator. | 1.2707 | 0.04668 | 133 | 103 | 24 | 6 |
1801 | Everyone, this is our new head of HR, Ted. Don't worry, he doesn't bite. | 1.2707 | 0.04906 | 133 | 105 | 20 | 8 |
1802 | You all know Elmer, our EVP -HR (Diversity). | 1.2707 | 0.04544 | 133 | 102 | 26 | 5 |
1803 | I would ask for your coffee orders, but this seems more like a Monster Energy kind of meeting. | 1.2707 | 0.04668 | 133 | 103 | 24 | 6 |
1804 | Get a chair for the freak. | 1.2707 | 0.04151 | 133 | 99 | 32 | 2 |
1805 | Sorry guys...the lunch cart was all out of bagels. | 1.2707 | 0.04544 | 133 | 102 | 26 | 5 |
1806 | All in favor of impeaching the human scum, say 'Aye!' | 1.2707 | 0.05021 | 133 | 106 | 18 | 9 |
1807 | This is Steve, He’s a sex offender | 1.2707 | 0.05021 | 133 | 106 | 18 | 9 |
1808 | Let's take a break, guys. Lunch has arrived. | 1.2707 | 0.04417 | 133 | 101 | 28 | 4 |
1809 | He says his name is Noah. What a joke. | 1.2707 | 0.04417 | 133 | 101 | 28 | 4 |
1810 | Mr. President, you've officially drained the Swamp. | 1.2707 | 0.04789 | 133 | 104 | 22 | 7 |
1811 | Ahh, the main course has arrived! | 1.2707 | 0.04906 | 133 | 105 | 20 | 8 |
1812 | It’s not Fred’s fault that the rest of you forgot to wear a Halloween costume. | 1.2707 | 0.04286 | 133 | 100 | 30 | 3 |
1813 | Professor Walters will describe his research on the dangers of radiation. | 1.2707 | 0.04668 | 133 | 103 | 24 | 6 |
1814 | You asked for diversity... | 1.2707 | 0.04286 | 133 | 100 | 30 | 3 |
1815 | Ejkwivnok bvrpit jabebebnok!" (Order lunch? This stupid human doesn't realize he's lunch!) "El-el-el-ha-ha-ha! | 1.2707 | 0.04544 | 133 | 102 | 26 | 5 |
1816 | Please welcome our new Director of Outreach Services | 1.2707 | 0.04789 | 133 | 104 | 22 | 7 |
1817 | Chairman Schiff Will See You Now. | 1.2707 | 0.04544 | 133 | 102 | 26 | 5 |
1818 | He’s either our new diversity hire or tonight’s dinner | 1.2707 | 0.04789 | 133 | 104 | 22 | 7 |
1819 | Hey human guy, what are you doing on our planet ? | 1.2707 | 0.04789 | 133 | 104 | 22 | 7 |
1820 | Shall the representative of earth be given a chance to explain - yes or no? | 1.2707 | 0.04789 | 133 | 104 | 22 | 7 |
1821 | Meet Phil, our diversity hire. | 1.2707 | 0.04417 | 133 | 101 | 28 | 4 |
1822 | To complete our diversity initiative, I've hired Bob here to be our official mansplainer. | 1.2707 | 0.04417 | 133 | 101 | 28 | 4 |
1823 | I know "Monsters and a human Inc." isn't as catchy, but we need to diversify. | 1.2707 | 0.04544 | 133 | 102 | 26 | 5 |
1824 | I warned you that the new board member is weird looking and is always wearing a costume, so don't stare | 1.2707 | 0.04544 | 133 | 102 | 26 | 5 |
1825 | We think that this costume, which we are planning to market for next year’s Halloween, will scare the bejesus out of everyone. | 1.2707 | 0.04668 | 133 | 103 | 24 | 6 |
1826 | All in favor, say "Arrrrg." | 1.2707 | 0.04789 | 133 | 104 | 22 | 7 |
1827 | We've invited Brad here today to try to explain this whole 'Trump' thing to the group. Brad, the floor is yours. | 1.2697 | 0.05709 | 89 | 69 | 16 | 4 |
1828 | I assigned Sid to scare that bed wetter Timmy Gordon. This is gonna be fun. | 1.2697 | 0.05929 | 89 | 70 | 14 | 5 |
1829 | So, ham and swiss on rye for everyone? | 1.2692 | 0.04606 | 130 | 100 | 25 | 5 |
1830 | I'd like you all to welcome Bob to the Species Extinction Club. | 1.2692 | 0.04734 | 130 | 101 | 23 | 6 |
1831 | Digby here is joining us from accounting, and...Leonard! Leonard, you're staring again. | 1.2692 | 0.04734 | 130 | 101 | 23 | 6 |
1832 | This is Netflix, we'll option anything | 1.2692 | 0.04606 | 130 | 100 | 25 | 5 |
1833 | So the ayes have it, Humans are the new acting dominant species until Cockroaches are available. | 1.2692 | 0.05333 | 104 | 81 | 18 | 5 |
1834 | So glad I am not the only one in the Oval Office! | 1.2692 | 0.04475 | 130 | 99 | 27 | 4 |
1835 | This is my new assistant, Jeffery. He's participating in our new diversity program. | 1.2692 | 0.04475 | 130 | 99 | 27 | 4 |
1836 | Houston, we have a problem! | 1.2692 | 0.05333 | 104 | 81 | 18 | 5 |
1837 | I'd like to welcome Brian to the team. Once you get to know him, you'll realize he's really one of us. | 1.2692 | 0.04734 | 130 | 101 | 23 | 6 |
1838 | In conclusion, Bill says if we play are cards right, a lucky few of us will have cameos on Sesame Street | 1.2692 | 0.04606 | 130 | 100 | 25 | 5 |
1839 | I'm afraid we need to cut costs... from now on, some of you will have to sleep under kids' beds together. | 1.2692 | 0.04858 | 130 | 102 | 21 | 7 |
1840 | Okay, here's the deal. He's the boss's nephew. So we have to pretend that the only guy with pants is not the guy that keeps shitting his pants. | 1.2692 | 0.04339 | 130 | 98 | 29 | 3 |
1841 | This is my husband, John. He'll be joining us for dinner. | 1.2692 | 0.04475 | 130 | 99 | 27 | 4 |
1842 | Gerald, we've all gathered here today to tell you that you are loved, and it breaks our heart to watch alcohol destroy your life. | 1.2692 | 0.05333 | 104 | 81 | 18 | 5 |
1843 | Congratulations on an existentially frightening Halloween, everyone. But special kudos to this season’s most chilling monstrosity, Presidential Apologist Phil | 1.2692 | 0.04734 | 130 | 101 | 23 | 6 |
1844 | You are right, Gilmok. The new manager IS a monster! | 1.2692 | 0.04858 | 130 | 102 | 21 | 7 |
1845 | Fine, eat the intern, but he’s on our health plan. Don’t come crying to me when premiums go up. | 1.2692 | 0.04606 | 130 | 100 | 25 | 5 |
1846 | post climate change oil company board meeting | 1.2692 | 0.05333 | 104 | 81 | 18 | 5 |
1847 | Any other comments on Alan’s nightmare forecasts? | 1.2692 | 0.04606 | 130 | 100 | 25 | 5 |
1848 | He's the new diversity manager. | 1.2692 | 0.04475 | 130 | 99 | 27 | 4 |
1849 | Jonathan here will take over for me on nights when I'm out going bump. | 1.2692 | 0.04979 | 130 | 103 | 19 | 8 |
1850 | Hank, here, is our minority hire. | 1.2692 | 0.04475 | 130 | 99 | 27 | 4 |
1851 | Thank you Gryx, for that excellent report on the West Wing. | 1.2692 | 0.04858 | 130 | 102 | 21 | 7 |
1852 | Due to inappropriate workplace probing, Carl is here to conduct a full-day sensitivity workshop. | 1.2692 | 0.04475 | 130 | 99 | 27 | 4 |
1853 | He’s a Corporate Tax Attorney | 1.2692 | 0.04858 | 130 | 102 | 21 | 7 |
1854 | Everyone, meet Brian. He's taking over Human Resources. | 1.2692 | 0.04475 | 130 | 99 | 27 | 4 |
1855 | Finally, a board room with some diversity. | 1.2687 | 0.04515 | 134 | 103 | 26 | 5 |
1856 | Actually, we're all diversity hires. | 1.2687 | 0.04389 | 134 | 102 | 28 | 4 |
1857 | Everyone, meet our new Diversity Officer, Bob. | 1.2687 | 0.04757 | 134 | 105 | 22 | 7 |
1858 | Now Hal is going to show us how we can not just wear the suit, but really rock it. | 1.2687 | 0.04637 | 134 | 104 | 24 | 6 |
1859 | Let’s move along to our perennially awkward topic, the Christmas party menu. | 1.2685 | 0.05675 | 108 | 87 | 13 | 8 |
1860 | I'm sorry sir. You don't meet the minimum height for this meeting. | 1.2685 | 0.05361 | 108 | 85 | 17 | 6 |
1861 | They wanted biodiversity and now they have biodiversity. | 1.2683 | 0.05501 | 82 | 62 | 18 | 2 |
1862 | Our new lawyer puts you all to shame. | 1.2672 | 0.04702 | 131 | 102 | 23 | 6 |
1863 | Hello class let me introduce you to our newest monster. And get this, he's a human. | 1.2672 | 0.04825 | 131 | 103 | 21 | 7 |
1864 | Due to recent shifting in our political landscape,President Trump had to ditch you. | 1.2667 | 0.05624 | 105 | 84 | 14 | 7 |
1865 | Before we begin, I’ll take your lunch orders. Are there any vegetarians, Celiacs, or Apex-Predators with us today? | 1.2667 | 0.05653 | 90 | 70 | 16 | 4 |
1866 | Is anyone else creeped out by the new accountant? | 1.2656 | 0.04503 | 128 | 98 | 26 | 4 |
1867 | Our goal this year is to eat the competition for lunch! | 1.2656 | 0.04638 | 128 | 99 | 24 | 5 |
1868 | Please welcome our newest member, Martin Shkreli. | 1.2656 | 0.05141 | 128 | 103 | 16 | 9 |
1869 | I can't believe I have to say this again, but the front parking lot is for monster trucks only. | 1.2647 | 0.05383 | 102 | 80 | 17 | 5 |
1870 | Let's all welcome Jerry to the book club | 1.2640 | 0.04564 | 125 | 96 | 25 | 4 |
1871 | Who let this guy into the cabinet meeting? | 1.2640 | 0.04420 | 125 | 95 | 27 | 3 |
1872 | Kids, before you go out, keep in mind, Halloween is sometimes scary. Just remember, people are NOT real, o.k.?! ...there’s a human behind me isn’t there? | 1.2640 | 0.04970 | 125 | 99 | 19 | 7 |
1873 | Brian's expertise is to scare kids with real estate bubble burst and financial recessions. | 1.2640 | 0.04839 | 125 | 98 | 21 | 6 |
1874 | I know he's not much to look at. But Bob has a knack for putting people at ease. | 1.2640 | 0.04703 | 125 | 97 | 23 | 5 |
1875 | I know he looks odd, but one of our priorities is to add diversity to the staff. | 1.2640 | 0.04564 | 125 | 96 | 25 | 4 |
1876 | Meet Bernie Shimmelman, a partner in the company’s law firm. And you think we’re monsters. | 1.2640 | 0.05098 | 125 | 100 | 17 | 8 |
1877 | when the teacher interrupts the conversation | 1.2640 | 0.04564 | 125 | 96 | 25 | 4 |
1878 | Casual Friday" got scrapped for 'True Inner Self Monday" - check your memos and lose the skinsuit | 1.2640 | 0.04839 | 125 | 98 | 21 | 6 |
1879 | They say my management style is a little cold blooded. | 1.2640 | 0.04564 | 125 | 101 | 18 | 6 |
1880 | I suggest we recommend Howard here to be head of Trump's Space Force. | 1.2640 | 0.04703 | 125 | 97 | 23 | 5 |
1881 | You may be the odd man out on this one | 1.2640 | 0.04564 | 125 | 96 | 25 | 4 |
1882 | As part of our Diversity initiative I'm inviting a human to join the Board. | 1.2640 | 0.04970 | 125 | 99 | 19 | 7 |
1883 | We've invited a very special guest for supper tonight. | 1.2640 | 0.04839 | 125 | 98 | 21 | 6 |
1884 | This is Bill, he's our new Director of Diversity and Inclusion. | 1.2640 | 0.04839 | 125 | 98 | 21 | 6 |
1885 | Yes, this is a dream! Now sit down and shut up. | 1.2640 | 0.04839 | 125 | 98 | 21 | 6 |
1886 | We all need to be more broad minded now. He's not nearly as bad as he looks. | 1.2640 | 0.04272 | 125 | 94 | 29 | 2 |
1887 | Ernie, here, has a new slant on evolution. | 1.2640 | 0.04420 | 125 | 95 | 27 | 3 |
1888 | Everybody be quiet! Here comes the weird guy! | 1.2640 | 0.04564 | 125 | 96 | 25 | 4 |
1889 | Look who came to the Board Meeting as an executive! | 1.2640 | 0.04564 | 125 | 96 | 25 | 4 |
1890 | He may not look it but trust me, Harold's the biggest monster here. | 1.2640 | 0.04420 | 125 | 98 | 23 | 4 |
1891 | He's our new head of HR and I'm telling you, he's a monster. | 1.2640 | 0.04564 | 125 | 96 | 25 | 4 |
1892 | Rodney is here from the Census - he's confused which box to check. | 1.2640 | 0.04703 | 125 | 97 | 23 | 5 |
1893 | Just give it a chance. | 1.2640 | 0.04420 | 125 | 95 | 27 | 3 |
1894 | We have a special guest to talk of his personal experience in overcoming alienation | 1.2640 | 0.04564 | 125 | 96 | 25 | 4 |
1895 | What's this one supposed to be? | 1.2640 | 0.04564 | 125 | 96 | 25 | 4 |
1896 | He’s uglier than a dog! | 1.2640 | 0.04970 | 125 | 98 | 19 | 7 |
1897 | Let's pick this up after lunch. | 1.2640 | 0.04564 | 125 | 96 | 25 | 4 |
1898 | Who let that spoon in? | 1.2640 | 0.04839 | 125 | 98 | 21 | 6 |
1899 | Let's give Stu, our new Ad Manager, a big FaceBook welcome! | 1.2640 | 0.04703 | 125 | 97 | 23 | 5 |
1900 | It’ll be tough to reach a consensus. | 1.2640 | 0.04420 | 125 | 98 | 23 | 4 |
1901 | Guess who missed the memo about casual Fridays... | 1.2640 | 0.04564 | 125 | 96 | 25 | 4 |
1902 | Ah, I see that lunch has arrived | 1.2640 | 0.04839 | 125 | 98 | 21 | 6 |
1903 | Since this is about inclusivity, how many of you are female? | 1.2640 | 0.04420 | 125 | 95 | 27 | 3 |
1904 | Before we start our haunted house orientation, did everyone complete their I-9 forms? | 1.2640 | 0.04272 | 125 | 94 | 29 | 2 |
1905 | Maybe just weird enough to become a new advertising icon. | 1.2640 | 0.04703 | 125 | 97 | 23 | 5 |
1906 | Look, I know we have some differences but... | 1.2640 | 0.04839 | 125 | 98 | 21 | 6 |
1907 | This is Dave, he doesn't clap during the Friends theme song | 1.2640 | 0.04703 | 125 | 97 | 23 | 5 |
1908 | Great, then it's settled. Only blurry, terrible photos of us. | 1.2640 | 0.04564 | 125 | 96 | 25 | 4 |
1909 | Check out this mutant they sent to serve us! | 1.2640 | 0.04703 | 125 | 97 | 23 | 5 |
1910 | Might I suggest a rare psilocybe azurescens '15 for dessert? | 1.2640 | 0.05223 | 125 | 101 | 15 | 9 |
1911 | We need the diversity, and in a pinch we can eat him. | 1.2640 | 0.04839 | 125 | 98 | 21 | 6 |
1912 | You folks should know that the beauty pageant doesn't start until next Saturday | 1.2640 | 0.04703 | 125 | 97 | 23 | 5 |
1913 | Ah, here’s the diversity coach now. | 1.2640 | 0.04420 | 125 | 95 | 27 | 3 |
1914 | Bob proposes that we promote more diversity in our workplace. | 1.2640 | 0.04564 | 125 | 96 | 25 | 4 |
1915 | Look what I brought for dinner. | 1.2640 | 0.04839 | 125 | 98 | 21 | 6 |
1916 | all In favor of this defenseless, toothless, clawless, furless species to take care of our planet say aye! | 1.2640 | 0.05098 | 125 | 100 | 17 | 8 |
1917 | Yes, climate change can be confusing... just look at Newt and explain how he got here. | 1.2640 | 0.04420 | 125 | 95 | 27 | 3 |
1918 | We’ve never had a lookalike contest—what a great idea! | 1.2640 | 0.04970 | 125 | 99 | 19 | 7 |
1919 | Hey, it just a matter of eight degrees of separation. | 1.2640 | 0.04703 | 125 | 97 | 23 | 5 |
1920 | Members of the jury ;Guilty or not guilty? I'll flip the coin. | 1.2640 | 0.04420 | 125 | 95 | 27 | 3 |
1921 | Let me begin by promising you all that this is not going to be another beauty contest. | 1.2640 | 0.04564 | 125 | 96 | 25 | 4 |
1922 | There There's always someone who didn't get the memo --- it said "casual dress" | 1.2640 | 0.04420 | 125 | 95 | 27 | 3 |
1923 | Why do you have to take the minutes? Opposable thumbs. Duh. | 1.2640 | 0.05098 | 125 | 100 | 17 | 8 |
1924 | I think you all know Bernie from Human Resources. | 1.2640 | 0.05098 | 125 | 100 | 17 | 8 |
1925 | Which of you weren’t evoked?” | 1.2640 | 0.04839 | 125 | 98 | 21 | 6 |
1926 | Climate change is the perfect gift for all of us, well maybe not the guy on my left | 1.2640 | 0.05098 | 125 | 100 | 17 | 8 |
1927 | This is Norman from Nonhuman Resources. | 1.2640 | 0.04839 | 125 | 98 | 21 | 6 |
1928 | I'm putting the band back together. | 1.2640 | 0.04564 | 125 | 96 | 25 | 4 |
1929 | We'll start with the usual. | 1.2640 | 0.04564 | 125 | 96 | 25 | 4 |
1930 | I'd like to introduce lunch. | 1.2640 | 0.04420 | 125 | 95 | 27 | 3 |
1931 | Please give a warm welcome to our new Chief Uniformity Officer! | 1.2640 | 0.04839 | 125 | 98 | 21 | 6 |
1932 | Shall we skip straight to dessert, then? | 1.2640 | 0.04839 | 125 | 98 | 21 | 6 |
1933 | Typical of HR to send a human to teach us about diversity and inclusion | 1.2640 | 0.04272 | 125 | 94 | 29 | 2 |
1934 | Gentlemen, I suggest we break for lunch. | 1.2640 | 0.04420 | 125 | 95 | 27 | 3 |
1935 | This is Roger, he's the new intern | 1.2640 | 0.04564 | 125 | 96 | 25 | 4 |
1936 | Bob, your Halloween costume would scare anyone | 1.2636 | 0.04473 | 129 | 99 | 26 | 4 |
1937 | Our new board member isn't a monster, but he can be very hurtful." | 1.2636 | 0.04607 | 129 | 100 | 24 | 5 |
1938 | I would like to introduce Morty; he is terrible on the inside. | 1.2636 | 0.04736 | 129 | 101 | 22 | 6 |
1939 | His last job was CEO of WeWork | 1.2636 | 0.04985 | 129 | 103 | 18 | 8 |
1940 | Earth is withdrawing from the United Federation of Planets. | 1.2636 | 0.04607 | 129 | 100 | 24 | 5 |
1941 | I see the representative from Earth is here. | 1.2636 | 0.04473 | 129 | 99 | 26 | 4 |
1942 | The secret to success is diversification | 1.2636 | 0.04607 | 129 | 100 | 24 | 5 |
1943 | Didn't you get the memo ? It's casual Friday ! | 1.2636 | 0.04336 | 129 | 98 | 28 | 3 |
1944 | pay no attention to the elephant in the room! | 1.2636 | 0.04985 | 129 | 103 | 18 | 8 |
1945 | He wants to sell us artificial skins. He calls them 'clothes.' | 1.2636 | 0.04607 | 129 | 100 | 24 | 5 |
1946 | I'll entertain a motion to seat the new species at the table. | 1.2636 | 0.04736 | 129 | 101 | 22 | 6 |
1947 | Who invited the weird-looking guy? | 1.2636 | 0.04194 | 129 | 97 | 30 | 2 |
1948 | Remember that blue dwarf planet in sector f478? | 1.2636 | 0.04336 | 129 | 98 | 28 | 3 |
1949 | This is NOT a lunch break! | 1.2636 | 0.04336 | 129 | 98 | 28 | 3 |
1950 | I ordered in for lunch. | 1.2636 | 0.04194 | 129 | 97 | 29 | 2 |
1951 | Yeah, he's a monster just like us! You ever heard of the #MeToo movement? | 1.2636 | 0.04862 | 129 | 102 | 20 | 7 |
1952 | And here's Max, all grown up and ready to join the firm. | 1.2636 | 0.04607 | 129 | 100 | 24 | 5 |
1953 | Jack has joined us as a human resources manager. | 1.2636 | 0.04336 | 129 | 101 | 24 | 4 |
1954 | The new guy must be living on another planet. Who wears a suit on casual Friday? | 1.2636 | 0.04736 | 129 | 101 | 22 | 6 |
1955 | Everybody thought that Tim was a little overdressed | 1.2636 | 0.04736 | 129 | 101 | 22 | 6 |
1956 | George is here today to discuss our action against the Suess estate | 1.2636 | 0.04985 | 129 | 103 | 18 | 8 |
1957 | Everyone, this is George, the new emissary from earth. | 1.2636 | 0.04862 | 129 | 102 | 20 | 7 |
1958 | This is Clyde from Human Resources. | 1.2636 | 0.04194 | 129 | 97 | 30 | 2 |
1959 | Relax ladies, Mr. Bryznick is already spoken for. | 1.2636 | 0.04607 | 129 | 100 | 24 | 5 |
1960 | Yes, we come from vastly different regions of the galaxy but we all hate millennials. | 1.2636 | 0.04736 | 129 | 101 | 22 | 6 |
1961 | Folks, this is John, our Diversity Officer | 1.2636 | 0.04194 | 129 | 97 | 30 | 2 |
1962 | Any thoughts on how to avoid impeachment? | 1.2636 | 0.04736 | 129 | 101 | 22 | 6 |
1963 | You’ve been chosen to provide some diversity. | 1.2636 | 0.04336 | 129 | 98 | 28 | 3 |
1964 | Ladies and gentlemen, meet Norman, our new Director of Diversity | 1.2636 | 0.04473 | 129 | 99 | 26 | 4 |
1965 | Everyone, Carlo with Amicus Consulting is here to coach us toward a more diverse, inclusive culture. | 1.2636 | 0.04607 | 129 | 100 | 24 | 5 |
1966 | Why wait for coffee? Let's eat him now! | 1.2636 | 0.04862 | 129 | 102 | 20 | 7 |
1967 | Zuglak doesn't seem to know that Halloween is over. | 1.2636 | 0.04736 | 129 | 104 | 18 | 7 |
1968 | Welcome to the Amphibian Support Group. Anyone need water before we begin? | 1.2636 | 0.05105 | 129 | 104 | 16 | 9 |
1969 | Welcome to the 1st Jurassic & Extraterrestrial Clone orientation | 1.2636 | 0.04194 | 129 | 97 | 30 | 2 |
1970 | Our board needs diversity to conquer new markets. This is John, he’s human. | 1.2636 | 0.04736 | 129 | 101 | 22 | 6 |
1971 | He's here from Adorable Adoptions, Inc. | 1.2636 | 0.04473 | 129 | 99 | 26 | 4 |
1972 | Timmy’s nightmares: I want fresh ideas, and I want ‘em quick. | 1.2636 | 0.04607 | 129 | 100 | 24 | 5 |
1973 | You weren't here. So we chose your planet to be destroyed next. We sent the Trump monster that no one else wants. He's not the sharpest tool in the shed, but we know his heart's in it. He'll get it done eventually. | 1.2621 | 0.05512 | 103 | 82 | 15 | 6 |
1974 | Before we order, does anyone have any food allergies? | 1.2621 | 0.05337 | 103 | 81 | 17 | 5 |
1975 | Alright. All those in favor say "Orragunthaaa" | 1.2621 | 0.05337 | 103 | 81 | 17 | 5 |
1976 | We’ll all have Lattes. | 1.2621 | 0.05155 | 103 | 80 | 19 | 4 |
1977 | Ok I get it. He is too weird to stay with us | 1.2619 | 0.04533 | 126 | 97 | 25 | 4 |
1978 | Someone forgot to tell Pete that it's Casual Friday. | 1.2619 | 0.04805 | 126 | 99 | 21 | 6 |
1979 | If you can get past the looks, Smith is quite talented. | 1.2619 | 0.04533 | 126 | 97 | 25 | 4 |
1980 | Dino has invited Mr. Addams for dinner. | 1.2619 | 0.05186 | 126 | 101 | 15 | 9 |
1981 | Everyone, this is Jake. He loaded the toilet paper the wrong way. | 1.2619 | 0.04671 | 126 | 98 | 23 | 5 |
1982 | Who do you think you are? | 1.2619 | 0.04671 | 126 | 98 | 23 | 5 |
1983 | I urge you all to weigh in on our latest EEO allegation. | 1.2619 | 0.04390 | 126 | 96 | 27 | 3 |
1984 | Today for lunch we are having a buffet. Please meet Mr. Buffet. | 1.2602 | 0.05011 | 123 | 98 | 18 | 7 |
1985 | How did he get past security? | 1.2602 | 0.04447 | 123 | 94 | 26 | 3 |
1986 | Okay, so we've done our own countries... Now Let's Make Earth Great Again! | 1.2602 | 0.05142 | 123 | 99 | 16 | 8 |
1987 | They're called 'normies'. | 1.2602 | 0.04594 | 123 | 95 | 24 | 4 |
1988 | Ah, dinner time. Who ordered the Happy Meal?" | 1.2602 | 0.05142 | 123 | 99 | 16 | 8 |
1989 | Let's give a warm welcome to Jerry, our Halloween costume judge. | 1.2602 | 0.04294 | 123 | 93 | 28 | 2 |
1990 | So, who’s the odd man out? | 1.2602 | 0.04594 | 123 | 97 | 21 | 5 |
1991 | Dinner is served. | 1.2602 | 0.04737 | 123 | 96 | 22 | 5 |
1992 | Keep an open mind. Our boardroom needs some diversity. | 1.2602 | 0.04876 | 123 | 97 | 20 | 6 |
1993 | All those in favor of Bob being lunch, raise your appendage. | 1.2602 | 0.04876 | 123 | 97 | 20 | 6 |
1994 | Our guest speaker is here to give us some corporate tips on how to be a soulless monster on the inside. | 1.2602 | 0.04737 | 123 | 96 | 22 | 5 |
1995 | Please welcome the new member of the diversity committee. | 1.2602 | 0.04594 | 123 | 95 | 24 | 4 |
1996 | It's what's inside that counts. | 1.2602 | 0.04294 | 123 | 93 | 28 | 2 |
1997 | Pronouns, please. | 1.2602 | 0.05011 | 123 | 98 | 18 | 7 |
1998 | Ughh... who's gonna tell the new guy we're a nudist company? | 1.2602 | 0.04737 | 123 | 96 | 22 | 5 |
1999 | I'd like you all to meet our new 'diversity' hire. | 1.2602 | 0.04876 | 123 | 97 | 20 | 6 |
2000 | As part of our new diversity hiring program, I'd like to welcome Bob to the team! | 1.2602 | 0.04294 | 123 | 96 | 24 | 3 |
2001 | Great more mansplaining ! | 1.2602 | 0.04876 | 123 | 97 | 20 | 6 |
2002 | I'd like to introduce our new spokesperson" | 1.2602 | 0.04594 | 123 | 95 | 24 | 4 |
2003 | It's OK to strongly disagree with the human, but eating him is against the rules. | 1.2602 | 0.05270 | 123 | 100 | 14 | 9 |
2004 | The polls show I lead Trump by double digits! | 1.2602 | 0.04876 | 123 | 97 | 20 | 6 |
2005 | For diversity’s sake. | 1.2602 | 0.04447 | 123 | 94 | 26 | 3 |
2006 | I'd like to introduce our new intern, and please, no jokes about his looks. | 1.2602 | 0.04594 | 123 | 95 | 24 | 4 |
2007 | Anyone else think that guy's vacant stare is kinda creepy? | 1.2602 | 0.04594 | 123 | 95 | 24 | 4 |
2008 | He will be the face of our new campaign. | 1.2602 | 0.04594 | 123 | 95 | 24 | 4 |
2009 | Say hello to our new diversity hire! | 1.2602 | 0.04876 | 123 | 97 | 20 | 6 |
2010 | Who brought in Dick from Finance? I can't digest him. | 1.2602 | 0.05142 | 123 | 99 | 16 | 8 |
2011 | Gentlemen, this is Jenkins - lets all try to make him feel at home. | 1.2602 | 0.04876 | 123 | 97 | 20 | 6 |
2012 | Next topic: Extinction | 1.2602 | 0.04876 | 123 | 97 | 20 | 6 |
2013 | Welcome to Trump's Huuuuge New Swamp! | 1.2602 | 0.05142 | 123 | 99 | 16 | 8 |
2014 | It's agreed! No more Mr. Nice Guy! Tomorrow, we're breaking out of this zoo! | 1.2602 | 0.04876 | 123 | 97 | 20 | 6 |
2015 | You know, sometimes this "diversity" policy can go too far! | 1.2602 | 0.04294 | 123 | 93 | 28 | 2 |
2016 | Remember folks, we welcome diversity here! | 1.2602 | 0.04594 | 123 | 95 | 24 | 4 |
2017 | Hi, and welcome to Animal’s Anonymous. | 1.2602 | 0.04876 | 123 | 97 | 20 | 6 |
2018 | Are we really ready to invoke the 25th amendment? | 1.2602 | 0.04737 | 123 | 96 | 22 | 5 |
2019 | Welcome to our newest salesman. I know, he's hideous but his species is a niche market we're trying to develop and if he doesn't work out I hear they are delicious. | 1.2602 | 0.04737 | 123 | 96 | 22 | 5 |
2020 | Who invited him? | 1.2602 | 0.04447 | 123 | 94 | 26 | 3 |
2021 | Straight white guy, on behalf of the monster’s hall of fame, welcome. | 1.2602 | 0.04876 | 123 | 97 | 20 | 6 |
2022 | This is Henry, our new intern from, uh, was it Earth, Henry? | 1.2602 | 0.04737 | 123 | 96 | 22 | 5 |
2023 | When I said equal employment opportunity, I meant humans also. | 1.2602 | 0.04294 | 123 | 93 | 28 | 2 |
2024 | Please don't laugh. Everyone is welcome here. | 1.2602 | 0.04447 | 123 | 94 | 26 | 3 |
2025 | Oh no, am I thousand of years early? | 1.2602 | 0.04876 | 123 | 97 | 20 | 6 |
2026 | I’m glad to see we value diversity at this company. | 1.2602 | 0.04294 | 123 | 93 | 28 | 2 |
2027 | Under new galactic regulations, we have to have at least one male on our board, everybody say hi to Adam | 1.2602 | 0.04594 | 123 | 95 | 24 | 4 |
2028 | Tried and true, this "look" is planetary! | 1.2602 | 0.04876 | 123 | 97 | 20 | 6 |
2029 | I’d like to introduce our newest member, Larry, from Earth. He’s going to explain Halloween to us. | 1.2602 | 0.04594 | 123 | 95 | 24 | 4 |
2030 | The first item on today's agenda is the need for diversification. | 1.2602 | 0.04737 | 123 | 96 | 22 | 5 |
2031 | No, it's not lunch, it's the new head of Human Resources. | 1.2602 | 0.04447 | 123 | 94 | 26 | 3 |
2032 | Isn't human face a good costume? | 1.2602 | 0.05011 | 123 | 98 | 18 | 7 |
2033 | And this is E.F. Hutton! | 1.2602 | 0.04594 | 123 | 95 | 24 | 4 |
2034 | Mark has a plan to replace Obamacare. | 1.2602 | 0.04737 | 123 | 96 | 22 | 5 |
2035 | He creeps me out too but H.R. says we have no choice. | 1.2602 | 0.04737 | 123 | 96 | 22 | 5 |
2036 | So, it's unanimous, if he gets the lobster claw prosthetics by the end of the month and he's hired. | 1.2602 | 0.04876 | 123 | 97 | 20 | 6 |
2037 | Keep your mouth shut, he's flammable. | 1.2602 | 0.04876 | 123 | 97 | 20 | 6 |
2038 | Look at those vacuous eyes, the unsettling smile... Dave's grotesque mug is the gold standard we strive for at this corporation. Take notes. | 1.2602 | 0.05270 | 123 | 100 | 14 | 9 |
2039 | As they say , there's the human in the room. | 1.2602 | 0.04594 | 123 | 95 | 24 | 4 |
2040 | Ménage à sept. | 1.2602 | 0.04737 | 123 | 96 | 22 | 5 |
2041 | This is Ted, our new CPA. Oh wait, no, he's our lunch. | 1.2602 | 0.04447 | 123 | 94 | 26 | 3 |
2042 | Although not exactly one of us he is a descendant of Hieronymus Bosch. | 1.2602 | 0.04447 | 123 | 94 | 26 | 3 |
2043 | Can one of you hide under my ex-wife's bed tonight? | 1.2602 | 0.04737 | 123 | 96 | 22 | 5 |
2044 | Who's the nerd with the tie? | 1.2602 | 0.04447 | 123 | 94 | 26 | 3 |
2045 | I thought we should have a board member who isn’t part of ”The Base”. | 1.2602 | 0.04737 | 123 | 96 | 22 | 5 |
2046 | He claims we still haven't met our diversity goals. | 1.2602 | 0.04594 | 123 | 95 | 24 | 4 |
2047 | Let's all welcome our special guest, Dinner. | 1.2602 | 0.04594 | 123 | 95 | 24 | 4 |
2048 | This is all that’s left of my amazing, huge cabinet? | 1.2602 | 0.04594 | 123 | 95 | 24 | 4 |
2049 | So we agree: Trump's our swamp's leader, right or wrong! | 1.2602 | 0.04876 | 123 | 97 | 20 | 6 |
2050 | Once again, we’ve lost track of Bigfoot. | 1.2602 | 0.04737 | 123 | 96 | 22 | 5 |
2051 | Shall we break for lunch? | 1.2602 | 0.04876 | 123 | 97 | 20 | 6 |
2052 | This is Steve. He'll be working with us on a visitors visa. | 1.2602 | 0.04594 | 123 | 95 | 24 | 4 |
2053 | I think we’ve taken casual Friday as far as we can | 1.2602 | 0.04737 | 123 | 96 | 22 | 5 |
2054 | Whats with the funny looking guy in the costume? | 1.2602 | 0.05011 | 123 | 98 | 18 | 7 |
2055 | Oh sorry. Wrong room. | 1.2602 | 0.04737 | 123 | 96 | 22 | 5 |
2056 | I met Joe at the bar during that 'Star Wars' scene. | 1.2602 | 0.04594 | 123 | 95 | 24 | 4 |
2057 | So, we are all agreed. We will eat Ted here, for lunch. | 1.2602 | 0.04737 | 123 | 96 | 22 | 5 |
2058 | Who let the Democrat in? | 1.2602 | 0.04737 | 123 | 96 | 22 | 5 |
2059 | As he walked in to the meeting, Bill suddenly realized that his coworkers were a bunch of monsters. | 1.2602 | 0.05011 | 123 | 98 | 18 | 7 |
2060 | . . . and he'll be with us 'til lunch. And that thing is called a suit. Kinda like peeling a banana, though . . . | 1.2602 | 0.04876 | 123 | 97 | 20 | 6 |
2061 | Let's come up with a name for our new shoe company. | 1.2602 | 0.04737 | 123 | 98 | 19 | 6 |
2062 | Meet Steve. He is our new image consultant for the coming election. | 1.2602 | 0.04594 | 123 | 95 | 24 | 4 |
2063 | It looks like Morris here is the only one who cares to wear a costume for Halloween. | 1.2602 | 0.04737 | 123 | 96 | 22 | 5 |
2064 | May I introduce a new Member , he us called a Human | 1.2602 | 0.04136 | 123 | 92 | 30 | 1 |
2065 | I understand, but HR is directing us to focus on diversity. | 1.2602 | 0.04294 | 123 | 93 | 28 | 2 |
2066 | Meet our new head of Diversity. | 1.2602 | 0.04737 | 123 | 96 | 22 | 5 |
2067 | We said business casual, Representative Earth | 1.2602 | 0.04447 | 123 | 94 | 26 | 3 |
2068 | Thank you leaders of the free world for coming together today. | 1.2602 | 0.04737 | 123 | 96 | 22 | 5 |
2069 | We agreed business casual, Herb. | 1.2602 | 0.04594 | 123 | 95 | 24 | 4 |
2070 | Who wants to play odd man out? | 1.2602 | 0.04447 | 123 | 94 | 26 | 3 |
2071 | I would like to officially inaugurate 'Take Your Human to Work' Day. | 1.2602 | 0.04447 | 123 | 94 | 26 | 3 |
2072 | With our new partner here coming on board, we'll be changing the firm's name to Smith, McCloud, Schaeffer, Klein and X-Gezornenplat 17, LLC. | 1.2602 | 0.04876 | 123 | 97 | 20 | 6 |
2073 | We needed someone more human. | 1.2602 | 0.04294 | 123 | 93 | 28 | 2 |
2074 | It's not because he's my stepson, I just think he deserves the promotion. | 1.2602 | 0.04876 | 123 | 97 | 20 | 6 |
2075 | I know Joe here would be an odd choice for membership on the board but maybe it’s time to diversify. | 1.2602 | 0.04447 | 123 | 94 | 26 | 3 |
2076 | Dan from Accounting is here to add a white male POV. | 1.2602 | 0.04737 | 123 | 96 | 22 | 5 |
2077 | I thought about going vegan, but I just love being a humanitarian. | 1.2600 | 0.05617 | 100 | 80 | 14 | 6 |
2078 | He isn’t a very physical specimen, but on his planet money seems to be very important. | 1.2600 | 0.05435 | 100 | 79 | 16 | 5 |
2079 | Who invited the nerd? | 1.2588 | 0.05333 | 85 | 65 | 18 | 2 |
2080 | The Eyes have it. | 1.2581 | 0.05105 | 124 | 100 | 16 | 8 |
2081 | So it's settled. A giant meteorite for the next mass extinction. | 1.2581 | 0.04974 | 124 | 99 | 18 | 7 |
2082 | You're right--it's going to be difficult reducing our differences. | 1.2581 | 0.04704 | 124 | 97 | 22 | 5 |
2083 | He says Donald will provide the funds if we can dig up some dirt on Hunter Biden. | 1.2581 | 0.04974 | 124 | 99 | 18 | 7 |
2084 | And now Jim will explain why his species should be spared. | 1.2581 | 0.04562 | 124 | 96 | 24 | 4 |
2085 | The motion on the table is to come out the closet for once and for all | 1.2581 | 0.04841 | 124 | 98 | 20 | 6 |
2086 | Well we finally have a diverse Board | 1.2581 | 0.04562 | 124 | 96 | 24 | 4 |
2087 | This is Ted, he's an investment banker. Yes, they exist. | 1.2574 | 0.05006 | 101 | 78 | 20 | 3 |
2088 | Everyone, I'd like to introduce Norm. | 1.2574 | 0.05200 | 101 | 79 | 18 | 4 |
2089 | If televangelism isn't monstrous, I don't know what is. | 1.2574 | 0.05387 | 101 | 80 | 16 | 5 |
2090 | Today we introduce full diversity. | 1.2574 | 0.05387 | 101 | 80 | 16 | 5 |
2091 | Diversity hire. | 1.2574 | 0.05387 | 101 | 80 | 16 | 5 |
2092 | I’m the team, Mulvaney. This is just the team in my head. | 1.2574 | 0.05567 | 101 | 81 | 14 | 6 |
2093 | Bob is here to talk with us about how wearing a tie will improve our foreign affairs initiative. | 1.2574 | 0.05387 | 101 | 80 | 16 | 5 |
2094 | People for the Ethical Treatment of Humans” have been harassing us again. | 1.2574 | 0.05387 | 101 | 80 | 16 | 5 |
2095 | The temp agency called him a magical candidate. | 1.2574 | 0.05200 | 101 | 79 | 18 | 4 |
2096 | So how high are we going to build the wall? | 1.2574 | 0.05387 | 101 | 80 | 16 | 5 |
2097 | Time for lunch break. The Uber Eats delivery came." | 1.2574 | 0.05567 | 101 | 81 | 14 | 6 |
2098 | Shut up egghead. | 1.2574 | 0.05387 | 101 | 80 | 16 | 5 |
2099 | I just want you to know that I'm getting help and I'm OK with you calling me Mr. Ugly. | 1.2574 | 0.05743 | 101 | 82 | 12 | 7 |
2100 | And, here's our first volunteer from our ‘How to Serve Man’ marketing campaign. | 1.2574 | 0.05743 | 101 | 82 | 12 | 7 |
2101 | I invited him! We need new blood! | 1.2574 | 0.05387 | 101 | 80 | 16 | 5 |
2102 | Do not worry, he comes in peas. | 1.2574 | 0.05387 | 101 | 80 | 16 | 5 |
2103 | What say we hit the beach in Cancun now that Halloween is over? | 1.2574 | 0.05387 | 101 | 80 | 16 | 5 |
2104 | Thank you all for your time today. This session is about image awareness. | 1.2574 | 0.05200 | 101 | 79 | 18 | 4 |
2105 | I’ll have a George Lucas with a twist! | 1.2574 | 0.05743 | 101 | 82 | 12 | 7 |
2106 | This committee is convened | 1.2574 | 0.05567 | 101 | 81 | 14 | 6 |
2107 | Please welcome the caucasoid. | 1.2574 | 0.05006 | 101 | 78 | 20 | 3 |
2108 | If you’re looking for the cultural sensitivity training, you’re in the right place. | 1.2574 | 0.05200 | 101 | 79 | 18 | 4 |
2109 | Wow! Your costumes are out of this world. | 1.2574 | 0.05006 | 101 | 78 | 20 | 3 |
2110 | I totally disagree. I think we should run another story about conspiracy theories. | 1.2574 | 0.05200 | 101 | 79 | 18 | 4 |
2111 | I know it seems a bit unorthodox, but wait until he starts talking about taxes. | 1.2574 | 0.05567 | 101 | 81 | 14 | 6 |
2112 | Before we decide who's next for dinner I'd like you to meet my new intern. | 1.2574 | 0.04484 | 101 | 81 | 15 | 4 |
2113 | Just treat him like you would any normal employee. | 1.2574 | 0.05387 | 101 | 80 | 16 | 5 |
2114 | I’d like to introduce our new Human Resources VP. | 1.2574 | 0.05006 | 101 | 78 | 20 | 3 |
2115 | This is Fred with our new hiring policies. Anyone hungry? | 1.2574 | 0.04804 | 101 | 77 | 22 | 2 |
2116 | Our new recruit. Wait till his mustache grows back. | 1.2574 | 0.05200 | 101 | 79 | 18 | 4 |
2117 | So - who has a unique idea for what to do? | 1.2574 | 0.05200 | 101 | 79 | 18 | 4 |
2118 | Welcome our newest member to the Extinct Species Board of Directors. | 1.2574 | 0.05006 | 101 | 80 | 17 | 4 |
2119 | Everybody this is Teds first day. Lets see what he has to vomit. | 1.2574 | 0.05200 | 101 | 79 | 18 | 4 |
2120 | Annual reviews are never fun. Unfortunately, this year management has decided to eat you. | 1.2574 | 0.05567 | 101 | 81 | 14 | 6 |
2121 | Hey, everyone. Meet Brandon, our new diversity hire. | 1.2574 | 0.04804 | 101 | 77 | 22 | 2 |
2122 | Welcome the new monster under the bed -the mattress salesman! | 1.2574 | 0.05912 | 101 | 83 | 10 | 8 |
2123 | Our guest will help us to overcome our fears that humans find us disgusting, creepy and unlovable. | 1.2574 | 0.05567 | 101 | 81 | 14 | 6 |
2124 | Dan, for the last time, Halloween is over already. | 1.2574 | 0.05567 | 101 | 81 | 14 | 6 |
2125 | Ah, here is our dinner now. | 1.2574 | 0.05006 | 101 | 78 | 20 | 3 |
2126 | Who is the guy in the funny suit? | 1.2574 | 0.05387 | 101 | 80 | 16 | 5 |
2127 | And we all know what happens when a player is eliminated in musical chairs? | 1.2574 | 0.05743 | 101 | 82 | 12 | 7 |
2128 | Everyone, please welcome our newest monster: crippling depression | 1.2574 | 0.05743 | 101 | 82 | 12 | 7 |
2129 | Okay, team, this is Bill from HR. He thinks we should also post jobs on Linkedin and Indeed. | 1.2574 | 0.05006 | 101 | 78 | 20 | 3 |
2130 | I see you've all dressed up as Mark from accounting. | 1.2574 | 0.05200 | 101 | 79 | 18 | 4 |
2131 | Come on Steve, it was business casual today. | 1.2574 | 0.05567 | 101 | 81 | 14 | 6 |
2132 | This is Jim. He's from Human Resources. | 1.2574 | 0.05743 | 101 | 82 | 12 | 7 |
2133 | Hey, you know the rules. If you're late bring worms and flies snacks. | 1.2574 | 0.05387 | 101 | 80 | 16 | 5 |
2134 | I know it looks disgusting, but it tastes delicious! | 1.2574 | 0.05200 | 101 | 79 | 18 | 4 |
2135 | Who forgot to tell him today is business casual? | 1.2574 | 0.05006 | 101 | 78 | 20 | 3 |
2136 | It's called a suit. | 1.2574 | 0.05743 | 101 | 82 | 12 | 7 |
2137 | Ahh, I see lunch has arrived! | 1.2574 | 0.05387 | 101 | 80 | 16 | 5 |
2138 | Oh good, someone finally beamed up dinner. | 1.2574 | 0.05200 | 101 | 79 | 18 | 4 |
2139 | It's OK,he's just my personal attorney. | 1.2574 | 0.05200 | 101 | 79 | 18 | 4 |
2140 | Okay. Can I laugh now? | 1.2574 | 0.05200 | 101 | 79 | 18 | 4 |
2141 | and what are you supposed to be, Carl? | 1.2574 | 0.05387 | 101 | 80 | 16 | 5 |
2142 | This is not how I imagined they would look naked... | 1.2574 | 0.05567 | 101 | 81 | 14 | 6 |
2143 | Well I’m glad at least one person decided to dress up for Halloween. | 1.2574 | 0.05387 | 101 | 80 | 16 | 5 |
2144 | He says he’s quitting because he thinks he doesn’t fit in | 1.2574 | 0.05567 | 101 | 81 | 14 | 6 |
2145 | Okay, the odd one's out! | 1.2574 | 0.05200 | 101 | 79 | 18 | 4 |
2146 | Darwin here feels there's been a bit of a mix up. | 1.2574 | 0.05387 | 101 | 80 | 16 | 5 |
2147 | Meet our new Director of Diversity. | 1.2574 | 0.05743 | 101 | 81 | 12 | 7 |
2148 | The next agenda item is branding. | 1.2574 | 0.05387 | 101 | 80 | 16 | 5 |
2149 | He may not look like he’ll fit in, but I’ve been assured that there’s a beast in him. | 1.2574 | 0.05743 | 101 | 82 | 12 | 7 |
2150 | Anyone who needs to phone home can use my office | 1.2574 | 0.05743 | 101 | 82 | 12 | 7 |
2151 | Let me introduce you to Max. | 1.2574 | 0.05387 | 101 | 80 | 16 | 5 |
2152 | Martin is our replacement attorney. You’re fired if you eat him. | 1.2574 | 0.05200 | 101 | 79 | 18 | 4 |
2153 | Our climate change strategy was a success. Steven, methane all around! | 1.2574 | 0.05200 | 101 | 79 | 18 | 4 |
2154 | I see we're going to start from scratch at our first annual intreglacial peace treaty. | 1.2574 | 0.05387 | 101 | 80 | 16 | 5 |
2155 | Can you tell me if the souls of the damned are gluten-free? | 1.2574 | 0.05200 | 101 | 79 | 18 | 4 |
2156 | And now the report on what weird things happen after wearing shoes. | 1.2574 | 0.05567 | 101 | 81 | 14 | 6 |
2157 | Rumors of a company scale-down had tongues wagging. | 1.2574 | 0.05387 | 101 | 80 | 16 | 5 |
2158 | Go easy on him. He's obviously new here. | 1.2574 | 0.05006 | 101 | 78 | 20 | 3 |
2159 | And to the left of me, here today to add much-needed levity, is my nephew, aspiring standup comedian Stanley Silberman. | 1.2574 | 0.05567 | 101 | 81 | 14 | 6 |
2160 | Please welcome Michael to his new role as our snack. | 1.2574 | 0.05387 | 101 | 80 | 16 | 5 |
2161 | Not all humans are alike! Trust me, this kind is actually a monster. | 1.2574 | 0.05743 | 101 | 82 | 12 | 7 |
2162 | This is Tom. Tom is our new Steve. | 1.2562 | 0.05052 | 121 | 97 | 17 | 7 |
2163 | So guys, apparently "Monsters, Inc." is taken. | 1.2562 | 0.04625 | 121 | 94 | 23 | 4 |
2164 | Okay, everybody! Get out your voting pads! It's time again to play "Dinner or Guest?" | 1.2562 | 0.04317 | 121 | 92 | 27 | 2 |
2165 | Ah, just in time for lunch. | 1.2562 | 0.05186 | 121 | 98 | 15 | 8 |
2166 | Guys, Ikzorp here, is dressed as a CPA. | 1.2562 | 0.04474 | 121 | 93 | 25 | 3 |
2167 | I know what you're all thinking but this board has to diversify. | 1.2562 | 0.04625 | 121 | 94 | 23 | 4 |
2168 | Let's give Stan our full attention, then we'll break for...lunch. | 1.2562 | 0.04771 | 121 | 95 | 21 | 5 |
2169 | He is one of those 23 and Me surprises you've read so much about. Meet our new Excutive Vice President, Todd. | 1.2562 | 0.05052 | 121 | 97 | 17 | 7 |
2170 | I’d like to introduce Bill, the new head of our diversity hiring program. | 1.2562 | 0.04625 | 121 | 94 | 23 | 4 |
2171 | Good costume Kraken, but you’re a day early... we’re not celebrating Halloween until TOMORROW! | 1.2562 | 0.05052 | 121 | 97 | 17 | 7 |
2172 | That ‘Take me to your leader’ stuff is so old. I said ‘Take me to a casino.’ | 1.2562 | 0.05052 | 121 | 97 | 17 | 7 |
2173 | Alien Union members, we should never have let the UK join in the first place. | 1.2562 | 0.04771 | 121 | 95 | 21 | 5 |
2174 | We have voted you off the island | 1.2562 | 0.04771 | 121 | 95 | 21 | 5 |
2175 | I would argue that being the creator of the song "Baby Shark" makes him more than qualified. | 1.2562 | 0.04771 | 121 | 95 | 21 | 5 |
2176 | Please welcome Dave. He merges without signaling. | 1.2562 | 0.04154 | 121 | 93 | 26 | 2 |
2177 | Herbert claims to have a lizard brain. | 1.2562 | 0.04771 | 121 | 95 | 21 | 5 |
2178 | I'll admit he may look ugly, but his resume is beautiful. | 1.2562 | 0.04474 | 121 | 93 | 25 | 3 |
2179 | Oh, I didn't get the memo we weren't doing costumes this year | 1.2562 | 0.04474 | 121 | 93 | 25 | 3 |
2180 | Yet Only One was a true "Internet Troll" | 1.2562 | 0.04914 | 121 | 96 | 19 | 6 |
2181 | This is a tasty new species we are now advertising | 1.2562 | 0.04625 | 121 | 94 | 23 | 4 |
2182 | Where’s the elephant in this room? | 1.2562 | 0.04625 | 121 | 94 | 23 | 4 |
2183 | So who shall be the devil's advocate? | 1.2562 | 0.04771 | 121 | 95 | 21 | 5 |
2184 | This is Bob, a white heterosexual male who hasn’t sexually assaulted anyone. This makes him as rare as each of us! | 1.2562 | 0.04771 | 121 | 95 | 21 | 5 |
2185 | They weren't joking about the US Space Force. | 1.2562 | 0.04474 | 121 | 93 | 25 | 3 |
2186 | And I stress again that our new hire diversity policy recommends conversation over consumption. | 1.2562 | 0.05318 | 121 | 99 | 13 | 9 |
2187 | It was at this exact moment that Bob knew he had found his people. | 1.2562 | 0.04625 | 121 | 94 | 23 | 4 |
2188 | The public already thinks we've infested EVERY candidate. | 1.2562 | 0.04771 | 121 | 95 | 21 | 5 |
2189 | Here is the latest addition to our Halloween costumes line - human suit. | 1.2562 | 0.04771 | 121 | 95 | 21 | 5 |
2190 | Welcome, Tom! We think you’ll bring a much-needed human element to this board’s decisions. | 1.2562 | 0.04317 | 121 | 92 | 27 | 2 |
2191 | This is Bob, he's a sales monster. | 1.2562 | 0.04625 | 121 | 94 | 23 | 4 |
2192 | Bill understands social media. | 1.2562 | 0.04154 | 121 | 91 | 29 | 1 |
2193 | Welcome fellow cabinet members. The President will join us shortly. | 1.2562 | 0.04771 | 121 | 95 | 21 | 5 |
2194 | I think we need to discuss the elephant in the room. | 1.2562 | 0.04625 | 121 | 94 | 23 | 4 |
2195 | What did I say about using coasters? | 1.2562 | 0.04914 | 121 | 96 | 19 | 6 |
2196 | We need to think outside Pandora's box. | 1.2562 | 0.04771 | 121 | 95 | 21 | 5 |
2197 | Please welcome John, our new head of sentient resources. | 1.2562 | 0.04317 | 121 | 92 | 27 | 2 |
2198 | Here's our new PR guy. He will be able to kill this "Drain the Swamp" mania. | 1.2561 | 0.05706 | 82 | 64 | 15 | 3 |
2199 | Listen up you animals. | 1.2560 | 0.04670 | 125 | 98 | 22 | 5 |
2200 | I know, I know. His tie is hideous. Try not to mention it though, okay? | 1.2551 | 0.05089 | 98 | 76 | 19 | 3 |
2201 | All in favor of making No-Pants Friday official say "Aye." | 1.2549 | 0.05340 | 102 | 81 | 16 | 5 |
2202 | We decided we needed a token homo erectus. | 1.2541 | 0.04592 | 122 | 95 | 23 | 4 |
2203 | Albert here has been an actor's agent for years and comes highly recommended by R2D2. | 1.2541 | 0.05015 | 122 | 98 | 17 | 7 |
2204 | It's time to address the 150-pound human in the room. | 1.2526 | 0.05389 | 95 | 75 | 16 | 4 |
2205 | Work has been scarce since Episode IV, so I think it's time we unionize. | 1.2526 | 0.05593 | 95 | 76 | 14 | 5 |
2206 | What Gus brings to The League of Monsters are puns and dad jokes. | 1.2521 | 0.04806 | 119 | 94 | 20 | 5 |
2207 | I want to thank you for helping me organize this meeting here today. And also the heads of the other Families. | 1.2521 | 0.04656 | 119 | 93 | 22 | 4 |
2208 | After the meeting, we'll have a snack." David McNair | 1.2521 | 0.05094 | 119 | 96 | 16 | 7 |
2209 | I suggest the tartare. | 1.2521 | 0.04656 | 119 | 93 | 22 | 4 |
2210 | We will get started as soon as the elephant leaves the room. | 1.2521 | 0.04656 | 119 | 93 | 22 | 4 |
2211 | I'd like to welcome our newest associate Mr. Mann....... | 1.2521 | 0.04656 | 119 | 93 | 22 | 4 |
2212 | Before her description of him changes, let's welcome Bob to the Karen's ex's society. | 1.2521 | 0.04500 | 119 | 92 | 24 | 3 |
2213 | And they're gluten-free and Non-GMO! | 1.2521 | 0.04656 | 119 | 93 | 22 | 4 |
2214 | We're being sued by George Lucas. | 1.2521 | 0.04656 | 119 | 93 | 22 | 4 |
2215 | Let me introduce Bob, our lunch. | 1.2521 | 0.04656 | 119 | 93 | 22 | 4 |
2216 | I'm providing lunch. | 1.2521 | 0.04806 | 119 | 94 | 20 | 5 |
2217 | I see being a nudist is alien to you. | 1.2521 | 0.04806 | 119 | 94 | 20 | 5 |
2218 | In an effort to increase our diversity, I would like to introduce our newest board member ... a straight white male. | 1.2521 | 0.04339 | 119 | 93 | 23 | 3 |
2219 | Everyone meet Tom. He’s horrifying on the inside. | 1.2521 | 0.04806 | 119 | 94 | 20 | 5 |
2220 | Joe here is going to teach us how to assume the form of human politicians. | 1.2521 | 0.04952 | 119 | 95 | 18 | 6 |
2221 | Bob is here to represent our minority shareholders. | 1.2521 | 0.04656 | 119 | 93 | 22 | 4 |
2222 | Please welcome Mike, our new Internet troll. | 1.2521 | 0.05094 | 119 | 96 | 16 | 7 |
2223 | This is John, our diversity hire. | 1.2521 | 0.04500 | 119 | 92 | 24 | 3 |
2224 | Please welcome Bob Whiteman, our diversity trainer. | 1.2521 | 0.04656 | 119 | 93 | 22 | 4 |
2225 | HR Nightmare: ...'Monstrosity' is our word, Kevin. | 1.2521 | 0.04952 | 119 | 95 | 18 | 6 |
2226 | As we've not been tearing them to pieces enough, I've invited a banker to join us. | 1.2521 | 0.04806 | 119 | 94 | 20 | 5 |
2227 | Stop making excuses, no pinsching! | 1.2521 | 0.04339 | 119 | 91 | 26 | 2 |
2228 | He’s our new diversity recruit. | 1.2521 | 0.04656 | 119 | 93 | 22 | 4 |
2229 | Everyone, this is the guy we're thinking of casting as "Han Solo". | 1.2521 | 0.04806 | 119 | 94 | 20 | 5 |
2230 | Please don't stare, he's very self-conscious. | 1.2521 | 0.04339 | 119 | 91 | 26 | 2 |
2231 | Next on Agenda: Community Gentrification | 1.2521 | 0.04806 | 119 | 94 | 20 | 5 |
2232 | Meet Norman. He has some wild and crazy ideas to add. | 1.2521 | 0.04952 | 119 | 95 | 18 | 6 |
2233 | Are you guys still figuring out the meaning of the end of Game of Thrones. | 1.2521 | 0.04500 | 119 | 92 | 24 | 3 |
2234 | Bill here is from Disney Pixar to talk to us about our company name. | 1.2521 | 0.04656 | 119 | 93 | 22 | 4 |
2235 | So, does he satisfy the diversity goal? | 1.2521 | 0.04500 | 119 | 92 | 24 | 3 |
2236 | Have you met George, our Republican strategist! | 1.2521 | 0.04656 | 119 | 93 | 22 | 4 |
2237 | Good morning everyone, I'd like to introduce Jeff, who's joining us as CFO. And please, for the sake of our fiscal year, let's try not to eat this one. | 1.2521 | 0.04656 | 119 | 93 | 22 | 4 |
2238 | Did we forget to tell Bob about casual Friday? | 1.2521 | 0.04500 | 119 | 92 | 24 | 3 |
2239 | Break for lunch? | 1.2521 | 0.04806 | 119 | 94 | 20 | 5 |
2240 | Listen, you're gonna have to bring your own chair to the meeting next time. | 1.2521 | 0.04656 | 119 | 93 | 22 | 4 |
2241 | Mr. Meyer is our newest diversity and inclusion employee. Let's hope he tastes better than the last one. | 1.2521 | 0.04656 | 119 | 93 | 22 | 4 |
2242 | You should have specified whose dream team you were assembling. | 1.2521 | 0.04656 | 119 | 93 | 22 | 4 |
2243 | This species has cloth covering most of its trunk and a striped thing around its neck? What evolutionary purpose might they serve? | 1.2521 | 0.04806 | 119 | 94 | 20 | 5 |
2244 | You all know Ted, our Chief Diversity Officer. | 1.2521 | 0.04339 | 119 | 91 | 26 | 2 |
2245 | All those in favor of letting Earth join the federation, say “Aye.” | 1.2521 | 0.04656 | 119 | 93 | 22 | 4 |
2246 | He became part of the family now that we are all Vegan. | 1.2521 | 0.04952 | 119 | 95 | 18 | 6 |
2247 | Bob here's come all the way from planet Earth to pitch us on ESG and what it can do for our bottom line | 1.2521 | 0.04656 | 119 | 93 | 22 | 4 |
2248 | Guys! Your attention please! I'm delighted to tell you it's dessert time! | 1.2521 | 0.04952 | 119 | 95 | 18 | 6 |
2249 | He is from Earth. Let’s not judge. | 1.2521 | 0.04500 | 119 | 92 | 24 | 3 |
2250 | Monster.com has decided to go a different direction with its new CEO. | 1.2521 | 0.05094 | 119 | 96 | 16 | 7 |
2251 | Stay away from the water cooler. Someone spiked it with LSD. | 1.2521 | 0.04656 | 119 | 93 | 22 | 4 |
2252 | Well, well! Look who the cat dragged in! | 1.2521 | 0.04500 | 119 | 92 | 24 | 3 |
2253 | C'mon, fellas. This is the diversity meeting after all. | 1.2521 | 0.04500 | 119 | 92 | 24 | 3 |
2254 | Creatures, meet our new VP of marketing Mr. Hal O. Ween. | 1.2521 | 0.04339 | 119 | 91 | 26 | 2 |
2255 | Am I the only one who dressed in costume? | 1.2521 | 0.04952 | 119 | 95 | 18 | 6 |
2256 | Kevin is here to help us think inside the box. | 1.2521 | 0.04656 | 119 | 92 | 22 | 4 |
2257 | Phil, we told you it was business casual. | 1.2521 | 0.04656 | 119 | 93 | 22 | 4 |
2258 | Enough pie-in-the-sky. Let's get down to earth. | 1.2521 | 0.04806 | 119 | 94 | 20 | 5 |
2259 | He's part of the company's new diversity hiring policy. He'll just be getting us our morning lattes. | 1.2521 | 0.04952 | 119 | 95 | 18 | 6 |
2260 | Barry, Barry, you trying time get us in a lawsuit? Humans are no different than anyone else. | 1.2521 | 0.04806 | 119 | 94 | 20 | 5 |
2261 | You’re creepy, Fred | 1.2521 | 0.04952 | 119 | 95 | 18 | 6 |
2262 | Henry here is our new hire... please refrain from eating him until after his 90 day probationary period | 1.2521 | 0.04500 | 119 | 92 | 24 | 3 |
2263 | The CPA says all of us are overdrawn, literally. | 1.2521 | 0.04656 | 119 | 93 | 22 | 4 |
2264 | I come in peace | 1.2521 | 0.04806 | 119 | 94 | 20 | 5 |
2265 | Malcolm here thinks we should have a costume party on Halloween to boost morale around the office. What do you say, are we in? | 1.2521 | 0.04952 | 119 | 95 | 18 | 6 |
2266 | The diversity and inclusiveness committee will be starting shortly | 1.2521 | 0.04656 | 119 | 93 | 22 | 4 |
2267 | "Alright, all those in favor of clothed bipeds as prey, please raise your paw." | 1.2521 | 0.04500 | 119 | 92 | 24 | 3 |
2268 | Did I misread the flyer? Repp ties only, right? | 1.2521 | 0.04500 | 119 | 92 | 24 | 3 |
2269 | I'd like to introduce the newest blood-curdling monster to our group. This is Andy, aka the Wolf of Wall Street. | 1.2521 | 0.05094 | 119 | 96 | 16 | 7 |
2270 | And now, let the wild Trumpus start! | 1.2521 | 0.05094 | 119 | 96 | 16 | 7 |
2271 | May I introduce you to Carlos. He knows all about being an alien on Earth. | 1.2521 | 0.04952 | 119 | 95 | 18 | 6 |
2272 | I’d like you all to welcome Todd, our new dinner...I mean intern. | 1.2521 | 0.04806 | 119 | 94 | 20 | 5 |
2273 | Today we want to welcome a new member of the the team who brings in new perspectives | 1.2521 | 0.04500 | 119 | 92 | 24 | 3 |
2274 | He may look different on the outside but he’s just like us on the inside | 1.2521 | 0.04952 | 119 | 95 | 18 | 6 |
2275 | Allow me to introduce Nick, our new diversity hire | 1.2521 | 0.04339 | 119 | 91 | 26 | 2 |
2276 | This is Ted, he will be leading the diversity initiative | 1.2521 | 0.04656 | 119 | 93 | 22 | 4 |
2277 | In a bit we'll be ordering lunch. I hope none of you are vegans. | 1.2521 | 0.04806 | 119 | 94 | 20 | 5 |
2278 | Who is the ugly strange dude? | 1.2521 | 0.04656 | 119 | 93 | 22 | 4 |
2279 | Oh hi Mark. | 1.2521 | 0.03421 | 119 | 98 | 17 | 2 |
2280 | Gentlemen, Todbot has a traffic update for us. | 1.2521 | 0.04500 | 119 | 92 | 24 | 3 |
2281 | And gluten free! | 1.2521 | 0.04500 | 119 | 92 | 24 | 3 |
2282 | Obviously George didn’t get the Halloween costume memo. | 1.2521 | 0.04952 | 119 | 95 | 18 | 6 |
2283 | Any ideas why that Noah guy didn't choose Us for his Ark?! | 1.2521 | 0.04656 | 119 | 93 | 22 | 4 |
2284 | I know that he is unusual, but I think he will fit in. | 1.2521 | 0.04806 | 119 | 94 | 20 | 5 |
2285 | Look fellas, he said the call was perfect! | 1.2521 | 0.04656 | 119 | 93 | 22 | 4 |
2286 | Look, it's a marketing crisis when some politicians are way more horrifying than we are. | 1.2521 | 0.04952 | 119 | 95 | 18 | 6 |
2287 | I thought it was just a movie. | 1.2521 | 0.04952 | 119 | 95 | 18 | 6 |
2288 | I know he looks like a super freak, but welcome our newest board member. We are committed to diversity. | 1.2521 | 0.04500 | 119 | 92 | 24 | 3 |
2289 | I don't feel like deli today. What say we just eat Bryan? | 1.2521 | 0.04806 | 119 | 94 | 20 | 5 |
2290 | No Xarglebog, Jonathan wasn’t a diversity hire. | 1.2521 | 0.04656 | 119 | 93 | 22 | 4 |
2291 | Please welcome Jeff to species bias training. | 1.2521 | 0.04806 | 119 | 94 | 20 | 5 |
2292 | You all remember Human. He's evolved a bit. | 1.2521 | 0.04172 | 119 | 90 | 28 | 1 |
2293 | You can put your human costumes back on, the president's cabinet meeting is adjoined. | 1.2521 | 0.04806 | 119 | 94 | 20 | 5 |
2294 | I see lunch has arrived so we’ll take a break. | 1.2521 | 0.05094 | 119 | 96 | 16 | 7 |
2295 | All in favor of agreeing with the EPA that out product does not do genetic raise your right hand, if you have one. | 1.2521 | 0.05094 | 119 | 96 | 16 | 7 |
2296 | With Gork here under cover at the IRS, we’ll pay less in taxes than Jeff Bezos! | 1.2521 | 0.04656 | 119 | 93 | 22 | 4 |
2297 | OK, so we have agreed: Things will be looking up. | 1.2521 | 0.04500 | 119 | 92 | 24 | 3 |
2298 | Say hello to my son-in-law. No biting. | 1.2521 | 0.04952 | 119 | 95 | 18 | 6 |
2299 | Apparently ‘business as usual’ is no more. | 1.2521 | 0.04806 | 119 | 94 | 20 | 5 |
2300 | Our attorney will fight to return dignity to ALL monsters! | 1.2521 | 0.04806 | 119 | 94 | 20 | 5 |
2301 | Time to break for lunch guys. Will one human be enough? | 1.2521 | 0.04656 | 119 | 93 | 22 | 4 |
2302 | Do we an agenda or a menu? | 1.2521 | 0.04806 | 119 | 94 | 20 | 5 |
2303 | We just find Monsters Inc. a little offensive. | 1.2521 | 0.04806 | 119 | 94 | 20 | 5 |
2304 | Well, let's just say he's the odd man out... | 1.2521 | 0.04806 | 119 | 94 | 20 | 5 |
2305 | I think Ted's hallucinating again. | 1.2521 | 0.04656 | 119 | 93 | 22 | 4 |
2306 | Just wait, you haven't heard his stance on vaccines yet. | 1.2521 | 0.04656 | 119 | 93 | 22 | 4 |
2307 | He wants to know if we have any dirt on Binden. | 1.2521 | 0.04656 | 119 | 93 | 22 | 4 |
2308 | Don't worry, you will blend in after we alienate you. | 1.2521 | 0.05094 | 119 | 96 | 16 | 7 |
2309 | He's today's lunch. | 1.2521 | 0.04806 | 119 | 94 | 20 | 5 |
2310 | The Alien Conference invite clearly said, "Birthday Suit Required"...not "Business Suit Attire." | 1.2521 | 0.04806 | 119 | 94 | 20 | 5 |
2311 | He wants us to be less exclusive. | 1.2521 | 0.04656 | 119 | 93 | 22 | 4 |
2312 | This year I’m thankful for nail files, without which we would have even more scratches in the table. | 1.2521 | 0.04806 | 119 | 94 | 20 | 5 |
2313 | I know he’s scary but he’s joining the board! | 1.2521 | 0.04500 | 119 | 92 | 24 | 3 |
2314 | Mission Accomplished! Our attorney here confirms the swamp has been fully drained. | 1.2521 | 0.04500 | 119 | 92 | 24 | 3 |
2315 | Corporate has been pushing us on affirmative action. Meet Bill. | 1.2521 | 0.04500 | 119 | 92 | 24 | 3 |
2316 | Who ordered the 'Monday Special ' on white? | 1.2521 | 0.04656 | 119 | 93 | 22 | 4 |
2317 | Roger here represents the new normal.... | 1.2521 | 0.04339 | 119 | 91 | 26 | 2 |
2318 | Since you asked: she/her/hers | 1.2521 | 0.04500 | 119 | 92 | 24 | 3 |
2319 | Here's our new minority Board member . | 1.2521 | 0.04656 | 119 | 93 | 22 | 4 |
2320 | I dare any of you to call him ‘normal’ to his face. | 1.2521 | 0.04656 | 119 | 93 | 22 | 4 |
2321 | Now that we finally have diversity on the board... | 1.2521 | 0.04806 | 119 | 94 | 20 | 5 |
2322 | Frederick here would like to join the club. What’s ya think? | 1.2521 | 0.04806 | 119 | 94 | 20 | 5 |
2323 | "Okay everybody lets just go about our business and no staring | 1.2521 | 0.05094 | 119 | 96 | 16 | 7 |
2324 | Say hello to Harold. I have hired him as part of our new diversity policy. | 1.2521 | 0.04806 | 119 | 94 | 20 | 5 |
2325 | Can we please stop calling him a diversity hire? | 1.2521 | 0.04656 | 119 | 93 | 22 | 4 |
2326 | A suit as a halloween costume - great idea! | 1.2521 | 0.04806 | 119 | 94 | 20 | 5 |
2327 | Welcome to the annual "Mythic Creatures" luncheon, it's my pleasure to introduce our newest member, Doug, who is a lawyer - and a good person. Welcome, Doug! | 1.2521 | 0.04952 | 119 | 95 | 18 | 6 |
2328 | This is Chip from marketing. He'll be lunch. | 1.2521 | 0.04656 | 119 | 93 | 22 | 4 |
2329 | Mr. Smith is here to observe our diversity training workshop. | 1.2521 | 0.05232 | 119 | 97 | 14 | 8 |
2330 | Meet Hal, from Human resources | 1.2521 | 0.04656 | 119 | 93 | 22 | 4 |
2331 | It's time we got real. | 1.2521 | 0.04656 | 119 | 93 | 22 | 4 |
2332 | Let's start with an economic report from the galaxy Centaurus A | 1.2521 | 0.04656 | 119 | 93 | 22 | 4 |
2333 | Today’s special includes filet of sweet maidens | 1.2521 | 0.04500 | 119 | 92 | 24 | 3 |
2334 | Here's our newest Halloween costume: Human. | 1.2521 | 0.04806 | 119 | 94 | 20 | 5 |
2335 | This is Bertram, our new head of Human Resources. | 1.2521 | 0.04952 | 119 | 95 | 18 | 6 |
2336 | Should our next topic be diversity? or lunch? | 1.2521 | 0.04656 | 119 | 93 | 22 | 4 |
2337 | Bob’s scary specialty is corporate litigation. | 1.2521 | 0.04339 | 119 | 91 | 26 | 2 |
2338 | Ignore the freak who just came in | 1.2521 | 0.04806 | 119 | 94 | 20 | 5 |
2339 | Glenn is our new head of HR, pardon the anachronism. | 1.2521 | 0.04339 | 119 | 91 | 26 | 2 |
2340 | Today we will hear from Dr.Bernanke on freakonomics. | 1.2521 | 0.04500 | 119 | 92 | 24 | 3 |
2341 | Get lost, Sapiens! We're talking Global you-know-what. | 1.2521 | 0.05232 | 119 | 97 | 14 | 8 |
2342 | I wants to reminds you once again of our new policy - Do not eats the IT guy! | 1.2521 | 0.05232 | 119 | 97 | 14 | 8 |
2343 | Thanks for coming. I love the diversity of this focus group! | 1.2521 | 0.04952 | 119 | 95 | 18 | 6 |
2344 | Please welcome our new scales manager. | 1.2521 | 0.04656 | 119 | 93 | 22 | 4 |
2345 | Easy folks! It's his first week and I forgot to tell him about "Be Yourself Fridays". | 1.2521 | 0.05094 | 119 | 96 | 16 | 7 |
2346 | Bill, here, is going to tell us how we can succeed as a team. | 1.2521 | 0.04656 | 119 | 93 | 22 | 4 |
2347 | Please welcome our new Director of Diversity. | 1.2521 | 0.04500 | 119 | 92 | 24 | 3 |
2348 | No, he says on his planet he's normal-looking. | 1.2521 | 0.04500 | 119 | 92 | 24 | 3 |
2349 | After presenting the annual report, Fred here will read his poem on the beauty of unlimited profit. | 1.2521 | 0.04806 | 119 | 94 | 20 | 5 |
2350 | Our diversity VP did a great job. Let's eat him. | 1.2521 | 0.04656 | 119 | 93 | 22 | 4 |
2351 | Hey guys, knock it off. Mick here wants to know how many of you will be going by Ark to Mar-a-Lago. | 1.2521 | 0.04806 | 119 | 94 | 20 | 5 |
2352 | And this is Jeremy, our terrestrial intern | 1.2521 | 0.03997 | 119 | 89 | 30 | 0 |
2353 | So we're not gonna build that wall after all. | 1.2521 | 0.04806 | 119 | 94 | 20 | 5 |
2354 | So this really weird creature came into the bar--you've got to see to believe! And by invitation, here he is! | 1.2521 | 0.04656 | 119 | 93 | 22 | 4 |
2355 | The Assimilation Department assures me things will be much easier if we stick to the white male skinsuit. | 1.2521 | 0.04952 | 119 | 95 | 18 | 6 |
2356 | I'm sorry that Bigfoot couldn't be here. | 1.2500 | 0.04722 | 116 | 91 | 21 | 4 |
2357 | We will break for lunch. This is Irwin, and he comes in pieces | 1.2500 | 0.04879 | 116 | 92 | 19 | 5 |
2358 | Everyone please welcome Gary, the newest member of the Republican National Committee. | 1.2500 | 0.05320 | 116 | 95 | 13 | 8 |
2359 | I think my resume speaks for itself. | 1.2500 | 0.05339 | 96 | 76 | 16 | 4 |
2360 | Mr.President, they are waiting for you | 1.2500 | 0.04467 | 120 | 93 | 24 | 3 |
2361 | I say we kill him and eat him here. All in favor? | 1.2500 | 0.04561 | 116 | 90 | 23 | 3 |
2362 | Should we order lunch, or should we just eat what's here? | 1.2500 | 0.04467 | 120 | 92 | 24 | 3 |
2363 | And before we commence with the new business, I’d like to introduce our new accountant, Mr. Bialystok... | 1.2500 | 0.05541 | 96 | 77 | 14 | 5 |
2364 | Great News, the Arc Park will fit you into its narrative. | 1.2500 | 0.05320 | 116 | 95 | 13 | 8 |
2365 | Who’s the goofy nerd in the suit? | 1.2500 | 0.05923 | 96 | 79 | 10 | 7 |
2366 | The topic for today is "what is reality?" | 1.2500 | 0.05339 | 96 | 76 | 16 | 4 |
2367 | Hello | 1.2500 | 0.04722 | 116 | 91 | 21 | 4 |
2368 | Everybody meet Brad, our lunch. | 1.2500 | 0.04879 | 116 | 92 | 19 | 5 |
2369 | Isn't this better? Meeting in a damp cave was a little overkill. | 1.2500 | 0.04561 | 116 | 90 | 23 | 3 |
2370 | 'tell me about your greatest boss again' | 1.2500 | 0.04561 | 116 | 90 | 23 | 3 |
2371 | Oh, sorry Kevin, when you were hired, I completely forgot to mention the Casual Fridays dress code. | 1.2500 | 0.04771 | 120 | 95 | 20 | 5 |
2372 | And please stop referring to Henderson as our 'diversity' hire" | 1.2500 | 0.04622 | 120 | 94 | 22 | 4 |
2373 | As the administration's former acting deputy communications chief, he'll be able to take us to their leader. | 1.2500 | 0.04722 | 116 | 91 | 21 | 4 |
2374 | So,lust,gluttony,greed,sloth,wrath,envy,and pride were all here so who is he? | 1.2500 | 0.05339 | 96 | 76 | 16 | 4 |
2375 | Yes, he's a little odd, but he made the smart move to quit the Trump administration and join us! | 1.2500 | 0.04561 | 116 | 90 | 23 | 3 |
2376 | I guess no one told the new guy about casual Friday | 1.2500 | 0.04915 | 120 | 96 | 18 | 6 |
2377 | Paul is the new lead for our rebranding; he has shown promise on how to truly be a monster. | 1.2500 | 0.04879 | 116 | 92 | 19 | 5 |
2378 | In light of the recent allegations, Greg from HR is going to walk us through the do's and don'ts of hiding under beds. | 1.2500 | 0.04394 | 116 | 89 | 25 | 2 |
2379 | So, if everyone could go around the table and say your name and what animal kingdom you're from. | 1.2500 | 0.04622 | 120 | 94 | 22 | 4 |
2380 | And now Professor Lorenz will explain how chaos theory drives change in our company's DNA." | 1.2500 | 0.05541 | 96 | 77 | 14 | 5 |
2381 | He calls himself the Terminator. | 1.2500 | 0.04394 | 116 | 89 | 25 | 2 |
2382 | This is the new prototype to repopulate Earth since they self-destructed by re-electing trump in 2020 | 1.2500 | 0.04879 | 116 | 92 | 19 | 5 |
2383 | Meet the latest employee from our diversity hiring program. | 1.2500 | 0.04467 | 120 | 93 | 24 | 3 |
2384 | Our rebranding guy. | 1.2500 | 0.05735 | 96 | 78 | 12 | 6 |
2385 | Apparently the chef is not allowed to serve live lobsters. | 1.2500 | 0.04308 | 120 | 92 | 26 | 2 |
2386 | Meet Fred, our new head if sales. He’s an animal! | 1.2500 | 0.04394 | 116 | 89 | 25 | 2 |
2387 | Shhh!! Here comes the new guy...what a freak! | 1.2500 | 0.04388 | 120 | 95 | 21 | 4 |
2388 | Dave, if you would, espresso all around. | 1.2500 | 0.05339 | 96 | 76 | 16 | 4 |
2389 | Friends, let me introduce Dave from HR, who successfully stopped the Area 51 raid this fall. | 1.2500 | 0.05339 | 96 | 76 | 16 | 4 |
2390 | From now on, all company bathroom's are gender neutral. | 1.2500 | 0.05130 | 96 | 75 | 18 | 3 |
2391 | What's for dinner, you may ask... | 1.2500 | 0.04622 | 120 | 94 | 22 | 4 |
2392 | Who invited the oddball ? | 1.2500 | 0.04622 | 120 | 94 | 22 | 4 |
2393 | Don't worry, he's been probed, and he still wants to join the board. | 1.2500 | 0.04722 | 116 | 91 | 21 | 4 |
2394 | At our next intergalactic conference we can discuss climate change and the impact on space ships... | 1.2500 | 0.04722 | 116 | 91 | 21 | 4 |
2395 | I really believe we are what we eat. | 1.2500 | 0.04722 | 116 | 91 | 21 | 4 |
2396 | Join me in welcoming Harris, V.P. of our new Office of Inclusion and Diversity! | 1.2500 | 0.04722 | 116 | 91 | 21 | 4 |
2397 | I’m building a mythical kingdom and would appreciate your input. | 1.2500 | 0.04879 | 116 | 92 | 19 | 5 |
2398 | Lower back butterfly tattoo is next. | 1.2500 | 0.06033 | 80 | 64 | 12 | 4 |
2399 | Now that everybody is here... | 1.2500 | 0.04879 | 116 | 94 | 16 | 6 |
2400 | Everyone deserves a seat at the table. | 1.2500 | 0.04622 | 120 | 94 | 22 | 4 |
2401 | Ah, the first course on the GOP luncheon menu is served: filet of whistleblower. | 1.2500 | 0.05339 | 96 | 76 | 16 | 4 |
2402 | Who will be taking notes? | 1.2479 | 0.04361 | 117 | 90 | 25 | 2 |
2403 | I'd like to introduce you to the newest member of the Trump team. | 1.2479 | 0.04991 | 117 | 94 | 17 | 6 |
2404 | The Universal Council is adding a new member.... | 1.2479 | 0.04687 | 117 | 92 | 21 | 4 |
2405 | All departments have exceeded projections except yours, Blrrrfpt. | 1.2479 | 0.04687 | 117 | 92 | 21 | 4 |
2406 | We’re here for the Star Wars tryouts! | 1.2479 | 0.04841 | 117 | 93 | 19 | 5 |
2407 | Unanimous vote. The Creator goes. | 1.2479 | 0.04687 | 117 | 92 | 21 | 4 |
2408 | How would you like your lizard cooked? | 1.2479 | 0.04687 | 117 | 92 | 21 | 4 |
2409 | We definitely need to rewrite our “Inclusion Policy”! | 1.2479 | 0.04527 | 117 | 91 | 23 | 3 |
2410 | Ron here will tell us how a human organization works. | 1.2479 | 0.04361 | 117 | 90 | 25 | 2 |
2411 | ‘The suit looks bad, but not as bad as having a spoon for a head.’ | 1.2469 | 0.06219 | 81 | 66 | 10 | 5 |
2412 | Edgar is from earth; let's all say "Hi Edgar!" to welcome him. | 1.2466 | 0.06101 | 73 | 58 | 12 | 3 |
2413 | So please be in touch, and keep up the bad work. | 1.2456 | 0.04915 | 114 | 91 | 18 | 5 |
2414 | And because of his long experience in D.C., I think Bob here would make a great addition to the League of Swamp Things. | 1.2456 | 0.04589 | 114 | 89 | 22 | 3 |
2415 | It's Bring a Guy in a Suit to Work Day | 1.2456 | 0.05071 | 114 | 92 | 16 | 6 |
2416 | A consultant is here today to tell us about diversity. | 1.2456 | 0.04589 | 114 | 89 | 22 | 3 |
2417 | Harold here from Legal says we CAN eat the competition alive | 1.2456 | 0.05071 | 114 | 92 | 16 | 6 |
2418 | I thought it important that at least one member of the executive team wear clothing. | 1.2456 | 0.05071 | 114 | 92 | 16 | 6 |
2419 | Please welcome Adam, our newest Misfits Anonymous member. | 1.2456 | 0.04589 | 114 | 89 | 22 | 3 |
2420 | This is our new intern Norm. Anybody hungry? | 1.2456 | 0.04915 | 114 | 91 | 18 | 5 |
2421 | Why aren't you sitting Richard? | 1.2456 | 0.04755 | 114 | 90 | 20 | 4 |
2422 | This is a working lunch, so who wants the head? | 1.2456 | 0.04915 | 114 | 91 | 18 | 5 |
2423 | Ignore the human in the room. | 1.2456 | 0.04915 | 114 | 91 | 18 | 5 |
2424 | And now, Jerry from HR with a few questions about his predecessor. | 1.2456 | 0.04416 | 114 | 88 | 24 | 2 |
2425 | What can the suit bring to the table? Hear him out, he says he's got a Planet B. | 1.2456 | 0.04755 | 114 | 90 | 20 | 4 |
2426 | We are sorry to inform you that your monstrously ugly looks preclude your employment here at Handsome R Us. | 1.2456 | 0.04755 | 114 | 90 | 20 | 4 |
2427 | Al, Sarah, Bill, Chris, Jose, Heather- I’d like to introduce you to our new intern, Xengorf. | 1.2456 | 0.05071 | 114 | 92 | 16 | 6 |
2428 | Personally, I thin it's disgusting when the food gets displayed at the table before the chef kills and cooks it! | 1.2456 | 0.04915 | 114 | 91 | 18 | 5 |
2429 | He’s a diversity candidate. | 1.2456 | 0.04755 | 114 | 90 | 20 | 4 |
2430 | Not to sound like a character from an old Twilight Zone episode, but this guy is hideous. | 1.2456 | 0.04915 | 114 | 91 | 18 | 5 |
2431 | Why don’t we all go around the table and introduce ourselves. | 1.2456 | 0.04589 | 114 | 89 | 22 | 3 |
2432 | He might look dumb, but he is capable to shit a planet entirely | 1.2456 | 0.05368 | 114 | 94 | 12 | 8 |
2433 | Hahahaha! You thought I meant drain the swamp? Make swAmps Great Again is how it is supposed to read. | 1.2456 | 0.05071 | 114 | 92 | 16 | 6 |
2434 | HR seems to think our dress code is a little TOO casual | 1.2456 | 0.04915 | 114 | 91 | 18 | 5 |
2435 | Now Todd from Human Resources will present our extinction benefits package. | 1.2456 | 0.05071 | 114 | 92 | 16 | 6 |
2436 | I chosen Melvin here to be our new Director of Diversity. | 1.2456 | 0.04416 | 114 | 88 | 24 | 2 |
2437 | Welcome to our support group: "People don't believe in us." George is new this week. | 1.2456 | 0.04237 | 114 | 91 | 19 | 3 |
2438 | Given the make-up of our company do we really need a director of Human Resources? | 1.2456 | 0.04755 | 114 | 90 | 20 | 4 |
2439 | So what's it going to be guys, pizza or people? | 1.2456 | 0.04755 | 114 | 90 | 20 | 4 |
2440 | We have changed the recipe for Coca Cola! | 1.2456 | 0.04755 | 114 | 90 | 20 | 4 |
2441 | Everybody,meet Thomas,our new token diversity hire! | 1.2456 | 0.04589 | 114 | 89 | 22 | 3 |
2442 | Let's order quickly, before he wakes up! | 1.2456 | 0.04416 | 114 | 88 | 24 | 2 |
2443 | Why not? It's time we had someone like Fred on this board. | 1.2456 | 0.04915 | 114 | 91 | 18 | 5 |
2444 | Welcome, gentlemen, to the inaugural meeting of the Figments of President Trump's Imagination. | 1.2456 | 0.05511 | 114 | 95 | 10 | 9 |
2445 | Please welcome Carl from Human Resources. | 1.2456 | 0.05071 | 114 | 92 | 16 | 6 |
2446 | Dinner's here! | 1.2456 | 0.04416 | 114 | 88 | 24 | 2 |
2447 | meeting my girlfriends family | 1.2456 | 0.05071 | 114 | 92 | 16 | 6 |
2448 | Ladies and Gentlemen of the Board, let me introduce our newest member, who comes to us from the Cenozoic Era. | 1.2456 | 0.04589 | 114 | 89 | 22 | 3 |
2449 | Who's in favor of just eating the human resources? | 1.2456 | 0.05222 | 114 | 93 | 14 | 7 |
2450 | I'm proud to say, you are our most diverse cohort yet. | 1.2456 | 0.04589 | 114 | 89 | 22 | 3 |
2451 | Since we've completed recovery, we can now look and not eat. | 1.2456 | 0.04589 | 114 | 89 | 22 | 3 |
2452 | Great Halloween costume - a human! | 1.2456 | 0.04915 | 114 | 91 | 18 | 5 |
2453 | When he promised to drain the swamp, we just knew he would put us in a better place. Hail to the Chief. | 1.2456 | 0.05071 | 114 | 92 | 16 | 6 |
2454 | J.B. Goode is here to propose a merger of Goode Incorporated with our company, Bad and Ugly Limited. | 1.2456 | 0.04915 | 114 | 91 | 18 | 5 |
2455 | And before you assume that Jaworski here is just another diversity hire, I want to you know that I vetted him personally and he comes from an absolutely delicious family. | 1.2456 | 0.04755 | 114 | 90 | 20 | 4 |
2456 | I'm afraid Noah has some bad news for us. | 1.2456 | 0.04416 | 114 | 88 | 24 | 2 |
2457 | As an outside director, Brent brings a new level of edibility to the swamp. | 1.2456 | 0.04755 | 114 | 90 | 20 | 4 |
2458 | Meet our latest...er....Board Membe | 1.2456 | 0.04416 | 114 | 88 | 24 | 2 |
2459 | Your meal has been served. | 1.2456 | 0.04755 | 114 | 89 | 20 | 4 |
2460 | We need to diversify the board | 1.2456 | 0.04237 | 114 | 87 | 26 | 1 |
2461 | His sales figures are a joke, but let's not forget he's only human. | 1.2456 | 0.04915 | 114 | 91 | 18 | 5 |
2462 | I've invited Mr. Oswald here to share an idea that many of you might find alien! | 1.2456 | 0.04915 | 114 | 91 | 18 | 5 |
2463 | The new guy will us that long-needed human touch. | 1.2456 | 0.04755 | 114 | 90 | 20 | 4 |
2464 | Remember earthlings are "bitter" and do not taste good! | 1.2456 | 0.04915 | 114 | 91 | 18 | 5 |
2465 | H R says we need more diversity on the board. | 1.2456 | 0.04915 | 114 | 91 | 18 | 5 |
2466 | Trust me. He’s as dumb as he looks. | 1.2456 | 0.04589 | 114 | 89 | 22 | 3 |
2467 | But he should help settle the lack of diversity issue! | 1.2456 | 0.04416 | 114 | 88 | 24 | 2 |
2468 | I’d like to introduce you all to Dave. “Hi Dave!” He’ll be our dinner tonight. | 1.2456 | 0.04589 | 114 | 89 | 22 | 3 |
2469 | I know he seems a little odd, but he has excellent references. | 1.2456 | 0.04755 | 114 | 90 | 20 | 4 |
2470 | Yes, I have a cold and I'm not hungry. | 1.2456 | 0.04416 | 114 | 88 | 24 | 2 |
2471 | He wants to know if we're vegan or vegetarian | 1.2456 | 0.04915 | 114 | 91 | 18 | 5 |
2472 | whoo blu the wistil on me? | 1.2456 | 0.04755 | 114 | 90 | 20 | 4 |
2473 | We need to stop acting like a bunch of humans | 1.2456 | 0.05071 | 114 | 92 | 16 | 6 |
2474 | Bob here says before we invade Earth we need to file an environmental impact statement. I figure that won’t delay us more than a couple of weeks. | 1.2456 | 0.04589 | 114 | 89 | 22 | 3 |
2475 | Everyone, meet Harald, he will be heading up the new diversity initiative. | 1.2456 | 0.04755 | 114 | 90 | 20 | 4 |
2476 | Welcome to the Inner Demon Gathering. I'd like to introduce Greg, head of middle school memories. | 1.2456 | 0.04915 | 114 | 91 | 18 | 5 |
2477 | No, Jeremy is not lunch. He is here to take your deli lunch order. | 1.2456 | 0.04915 | 114 | 91 | 18 | 5 |
2478 | And, remember, for promotion to this board, we may not consider Mr. Aubrey's personal appearance. | 1.2456 | 0.04589 | 114 | 89 | 22 | 3 |
2479 | Brian will be heading our diversity taskforce. | 1.2456 | 0.04237 | 114 | 87 | 26 | 1 |
2480 | Gentlemen, who's got an idea about how to attract prettier women to our pageant? | 1.2444 | 0.05544 | 90 | 72 | 14 | 4 |
2481 | Everyone this is Larry from accounting. I know he looks a bit odd, but wait til you see him after a night of drinking! | 1.2444 | 0.05544 | 90 | 72 | 14 | 4 |
2482 | I vote we completely recast the new 'Star Wars' movie. | 1.2435 | 0.04553 | 115 | 90 | 22 | 3 |
2483 | So do we agree to move the dental floss account to Mr. Wilson's company? | 1.2414 | 0.05887 | 87 | 71 | 11 | 5 |
2484 | Welcome to Unlovables Anonymous. | 1.2411 | 0.04616 | 112 | 88 | 21 | 3 |
2485 | Taxidermy Joe is exhibit A: ignore climate change, go extinct. | 1.2411 | 0.04616 | 112 | 88 | 21 | 3 |
2486 | Just remember to grunt on cue. | 1.2411 | 0.04438 | 112 | 87 | 23 | 2 |
2487 | Robert's rules of Mordor | 1.2411 | 0.04616 | 112 | 88 | 21 | 3 |
2488 | I know the side effects were listed in the commercial, doc, but who really thinks it's going to happen to them? | 1.2411 | 0.05112 | 112 | 91 | 15 | 6 |
2489 | This is Max, our insurance agent. He'll fit nicely here. | 1.2411 | 0.04952 | 112 | 90 | 17 | 5 |
2490 | I'd like you to meet Fred - he's our token response to the need for more diversity around here....... | 1.2411 | 0.04616 | 112 | 88 | 21 | 3 |
2491 | Now that the cabinet is assembled, what do we do with the weird guy?" | 1.2411 | 0.04616 | 112 | 88 | 21 | 3 |
2492 | And to fullfil our diversity requirement, I've invited a Republican. | 1.2411 | 0.05112 | 112 | 91 | 15 | 6 |
2493 | The reason you are all gathered here today is to revisit the corporate dress code. | 1.2411 | 0.04616 | 112 | 88 | 21 | 3 |
2494 | He is like Bigfoot in character, but he looks like Trump | 1.2411 | 0.04952 | 112 | 90 | 17 | 5 |
2495 | Trust me! When you get to a certain age, “middle-management” gets pretty scary. | 1.2411 | 0.05267 | 112 | 92 | 13 | 7 |
2496 | It's called a Trump Republican - all in favor of it joining our board say aye. | 1.2411 | 0.04952 | 112 | 90 | 17 | 5 |
2497 | Congratulations on another year of convincing everyone we don't exist. | 1.2411 | 0.04787 | 112 | 89 | 19 | 4 |
2498 | Please welcome Dave. Our company decided to expand its definition of 'diversity.' | 1.2411 | 0.04616 | 112 | 88 | 21 | 3 |
2499 | I know not all of us were fans of the board diversity initiative. | 1.2411 | 0.04438 | 112 | 87 | 23 | 2 |
2500 | We have a new member in our council of freaks! | 1.2411 | 0.04787 | 112 | 89 | 19 | 4 |
2501 | He’s not an illegal . . . DACA Trumps deportation! | 1.2411 | 0.04438 | 112 | 87 | 23 | 2 |
2502 | For the last time, Steve. No human suits on casual Friday! | 1.2411 | 0.04952 | 112 | 90 | 17 | 5 |
2503 | The 6th Mass Extinction Board Meeting | 1.2411 | 0.04787 | 112 | 89 | 19 | 4 |
2504 | In our effort to add some diversity to the board, please welcome Mr. Simon Sneed. | 1.2411 | 0.04616 | 112 | 88 | 21 | 3 |
2505 | How many more years of evolution do I need before I can get a seat at this table? | 1.2411 | 0.04952 | 112 | 90 | 17 | 5 |
2506 | Stan here is a human, and would like to join the team. | 1.2411 | 0.04787 | 112 | 89 | 19 | 4 |
2507 | Jared’s our diversity hire. | 1.2411 | 0.04616 | 112 | 87 | 21 | 3 |
2508 | I have a 'monster' personality, does that count? | 1.2411 | 0.04787 | 112 | 89 | 19 | 4 |
2509 | The accountant lost Duck, Duck, Goose, so we can eat him. | 1.2411 | 0.04616 | 112 | 88 | 21 | 3 |
2510 | He’s a good lawyer. He might become our consigliere. | 1.2411 | 0.04616 | 112 | 88 | 21 | 3 |
2511 | I'm glad to see our diversity program is working. | 1.2411 | 0.04616 | 112 | 88 | 21 | 3 |
2512 | I'd like you all to meet our new committee member. He represents Earth. | 1.2411 | 0.04952 | 112 | 90 | 17 | 5 |
2513 | Why is Craig the only one in costume? | 1.2411 | 0.04787 | 112 | 89 | 19 | 4 |
2514 | Alienation Summit to decide if humans can exist with other beings. Not looking good for humans! | 1.2411 | 0.04787 | 112 | 89 | 19 | 4 |
2515 | OK, I get it, he's not green. But Larry here can step foot into places we can't. Trader Joe's for example. | 1.2411 | 0.04787 | 112 | 89 | 19 | 4 |
2516 | We've run the numbers and doing the mash is not going to keep this company afloat | 1.2411 | 0.05267 | 112 | 92 | 13 | 7 |
2517 | OK, so, sesame street, cartoons, adorable critters, hiding under the bed or in the closet, monsters, so we need to be out and proud! | 1.2411 | 0.04952 | 112 | 90 | 17 | 5 |
2518 | We were discussing singularity. | 1.2411 | 0.04616 | 112 | 88 | 21 | 3 |
2519 | Listen up... this is Jim of planet Earth and he’s here to explain the Earthly phenomenon of eating ass. Please give him a warm round of applause | 1.2411 | 0.04787 | 112 | 89 | 19 | 4 |
2520 | Welcoming a unique species like Steve can only enhance the biodiversity that make our tropical island so wonderful. | 1.2411 | 0.04787 | 112 | 89 | 19 | 4 |
2521 | Everyone...Ben here is going to help us with our public facing social media problem. | 1.2411 | 0.04438 | 112 | 87 | 23 | 2 |
2522 | I now call the future Democrats of America meeting to order. | 1.2411 | 0.05112 | 112 | 91 | 15 | 6 |
2523 | Ok, what's everybody dressing up for Halloween ? | 1.2411 | 0.04952 | 112 | 90 | 17 | 5 |
2524 | My mentor told me to imagine you all naked when I give my speech. | 1.2411 | 0.04952 | 112 | 90 | 17 | 5 |
2525 | How do you assume to win 'Best Alien Costume' with that? | 1.2411 | 0.04787 | 112 | 89 | 19 | 4 |
2526 | Alien Resources has advised us that we need more diversity. Meet Dave. | 1.2411 | 0.04438 | 112 | 87 | 23 | 2 |
2527 | ... and the newest member of our Nightmare Monsters team, Ted from the IRS | 1.2411 | 0.04952 | 112 | 90 | 17 | 5 |
2528 | Welcome brother to the leadership table. We believe and value diversity and inclusion. | 1.2411 | 0.04952 | 112 | 90 | 17 | 5 |
2529 | Mr. Henderson is here from Monster dot com and he says we are compromising their brand. | 1.2411 | 0.05112 | 112 | 91 | 15 | 6 |
2530 | Look at that weirdo standing there. Well, I guess it takes all kinds. | 1.2411 | 0.04952 | 112 | 90 | 17 | 5 |
2531 | For some reason, he's refusing to take us to their leader.... | 1.2411 | 0.04616 | 112 | 88 | 21 | 3 |
2532 | Now, it is time for me to introduce you a real Monster. Beware. | 1.2411 | 0.05112 | 112 | 91 | 15 | 6 |
2533 | James wins the costume contest for something completely bizarre. | 1.2411 | 0.04253 | 112 | 86 | 25 | 1 |
2534 | James is our diversity hire. | 1.2411 | 0.04528 | 112 | 90 | 18 | 4 |
2535 | I just thought that it was time we got a little diversity on the board. | 1.2411 | 0.04787 | 112 | 89 | 19 | 4 |
2536 | I know he's the stuff of nightmares, but we must be 'Inclusive'! | 1.2411 | 0.04616 | 112 | 88 | 21 | 3 |
2537 | Please ignore the human in the room. | 1.2411 | 0.04438 | 112 | 87 | 23 | 2 |
2538 | I’ve brought in Carl to show us how to put our best body part forward. | 1.2411 | 0.04438 | 112 | 87 | 23 | 2 |
2539 | Peter here is from the Trump administration! | 1.2411 | 0.04952 | 112 | 90 | 17 | 5 |
2540 | Next agenda item. Our diversity program. | 1.2411 | 0.04616 | 112 | 88 | 21 | 3 |
2541 | No, this person is not lunch. He's our new accountant. | 1.2411 | 0.04438 | 112 | 87 | 23 | 2 |
2542 | Well, Dibbins, how's that for diversity in the boardroom? | 1.2411 | 0.04616 | 112 | 88 | 21 | 3 |
2543 | For the third year in a row, Kenneth here has overcome his hideous looks to be our top salesman! | 1.2411 | 0.05267 | 112 | 92 | 13 | 7 |
2544 | We want to welcome Luke Skywalker back from college! He's graduated now and ready to get to work... | 1.2411 | 0.04952 | 112 | 90 | 17 | 5 |
2545 | Here to explain race relations, a member of the human race. | 1.2411 | 0.04787 | 112 | 89 | 19 | 4 |
2546 | Our guest today will talk to us about our evolution since last we met. | 1.2411 | 0.04616 | 112 | 88 | 21 | 3 |
2547 | We are agreed then. We will not eat the earthling. | 1.2411 | 0.04787 | 112 | 89 | 19 | 4 |
2548 | This is Bob. He fits in anywhere. | 1.2411 | 0.04438 | 112 | 87 | 23 | 2 |
2549 | Unlike us, this species wears clothes. | 1.2411 | 0.04952 | 112 | 90 | 17 | 5 |
2550 | The first meeting of the new normal club is now in session. | 1.2411 | 0.04787 | 112 | 89 | 19 | 4 |
2551 | This is Dan everyone. He recently dropped out of the presidential race. Naturally, we were able to hire him immediately! Welcome Dan!” | 1.2411 | 0.04438 | 112 | 87 | 23 | 2 |
2552 | Since the deli can't deliver today, we're going to just have some spotted Dick. | 1.2411 | 0.05112 | 112 | 91 | 15 | 6 |
2553 | Any further questions as to when the swamp will be drained? | 1.2411 | 0.04952 | 112 | 90 | 17 | 5 |
2554 | I say impeach him and then have him for lunch with yams fries and and apple pie. | 1.2411 | 0.05112 | 112 | 91 | 15 | 6 |
2555 | What is it with these earthlings and their insistence on wearing clothes | 1.2411 | 0.04616 | 112 | 88 | 21 | 3 |
2556 | The new acquisition for our zoo is a scary earthling. | 1.2411 | 0.04253 | 112 | 86 | 25 | 1 |
2557 | Great quarter guys, but the boss says we need to focus more on our human relations | 1.2411 | 0.04952 | 112 | 90 | 17 | 5 |
2558 | I think I am speaking for the board. We feel you just can’t fit in. | 1.2411 | 0.04787 | 112 | 89 | 19 | 4 |
2559 | Everyone, meet Bob. He's a dentist. | 1.2411 | 0.04438 | 112 | 87 | 23 | 2 |
2560 | Simon is here from HR to discuss our dress code. | 1.2411 | 0.04438 | 112 | 87 | 23 | 2 |
2561 | Kudos on reaching our diversity goals | 1.2411 | 0.04438 | 112 | 87 | 23 | 2 |
2562 | I have to agree with Blorag, the third child was the tastiest and the one I'd most likely recommend to a friend. | 1.2411 | 0.04616 | 112 | 88 | 21 | 3 |
2563 | Bill will be handling Human Relations. | 1.2411 | 0.04438 | 112 | 87 | 23 | 2 |
2564 | Jim understands our target market. | 1.2411 | 0.04787 | 112 | 89 | 19 | 4 |
2565 | Is it Okay with you guys I sit someone who fails our dress code? | 1.2411 | 0.04952 | 112 | 90 | 17 | 5 |
2566 | Interestingly, the only known function of that striped piece of fabric under the chin is to enable the wearer to hang himself. | 1.2411 | 0.04787 | 112 | 89 | 19 | 4 |
2567 | Who’s dinner? | 1.2411 | 0.04952 | 112 | 90 | 17 | 5 |
2568 | There's something going around. | 1.2411 | 0.04616 | 112 | 88 | 21 | 3 |
2569 | Please tell George Lucas that we're out of work and could use a job. | 1.2411 | 0.04952 | 112 | 90 | 17 | 5 |
2570 | Ok Grimsley, who drew you so chump looking. | 1.2411 | 0.04616 | 112 | 88 | 21 | 3 |
2571 | And here’s the prototype for the year 2000 | 1.2411 | 0.04952 | 112 | 92 | 14 | 6 |
2572 | Think outside of the box. | 1.2411 | 0.04952 | 112 | 90 | 17 | 5 |
2573 | On the bright side, this benighted species has the strange ability to replicate itself. Could be useful as a source of slave labor. | 1.2411 | 0.04616 | 112 | 88 | 21 | 3 |
2574 | In the interest of maintaining diversity, we're happy to welcome Malcolm to our board. | 1.2411 | 0.04616 | 112 | 88 | 21 | 3 |
2575 | I know it doesn’t look much, but trust me, it really is edible! | 1.2411 | 0.04787 | 112 | 89 | 19 | 4 |
2576 | Let's give a warm White House welcome to our newest hire, Bob. | 1.2411 | 0.04787 | 112 | 89 | 19 | 4 |
2577 | Hi everyone, as you know you've been randomly selected for additional screening. | 1.2411 | 0.04952 | 112 | 90 | 17 | 5 |
2578 | I thought this was a human resources meeting? | 1.2411 | 0.04616 | 112 | 88 | 21 | 3 |
2579 | He comes with a message of peace, and I say we hear him out before we eat him. | 1.2411 | 0.04952 | 112 | 90 | 17 | 5 |
2580 | It’s settled then. We will work on our public image before launching our new marketing campaign. | 1.2411 | 0.04438 | 112 | 87 | 23 | 2 |
2581 | Simmons here is our diversity hire. | 1.2411 | 0.04616 | 112 | 88 | 21 | 3 |
2582 | Anyone in favor of Stan's suggestion, "It was a graveyard smash?" | 1.2411 | 0.04952 | 112 | 90 | 17 | 5 |
2583 | (thought) I remember Nate said, if you look around the table and can't tell who the mark is, you are the mark! | 1.2411 | 0.04952 | 112 | 90 | 17 | 5 |
2584 | I know he is strange looking but Chas Addams created him, so I think he will fit right in. | 1.2411 | 0.04952 | 112 | 90 | 17 | 5 |
2585 | This is Jim. He's just transferred over from human resources. | 1.2411 | 0.04787 | 112 | 89 | 19 | 4 |
2586 | C'mon guys, we have to diversify. All in favor of Joe joining the board, say, "Aye." | 1.2411 | 0.04438 | 112 | 87 | 23 | 2 |
2587 | Let’s all congratulate Ted, who’s been promoted to head of our Hiding Under Beds and Scaring Children Division. | 1.2411 | 0.04438 | 112 | 87 | 23 | 2 |
2588 | Let’s put are differences aside and focus on the matter at hand: are carbs OK? | 1.2411 | 0.04952 | 112 | 90 | 17 | 5 |
2589 | We have two resolutions pending: One to welcome the human onto our council and one to have him prepared for dinner. | 1.2411 | 0.04952 | 112 | 90 | 17 | 5 |
2590 | Do any of you need to phone home before we vote? | 1.2411 | 0.04787 | 112 | 89 | 19 | 4 |
2591 | Now before Moe gives his little talk, let's all put on our thinking caps. | 1.2411 | 0.04787 | 112 | 89 | 19 | 4 |
2592 | Well, with our friend from Earth, we have a quorum. | 1.2411 | 0.04616 | 112 | 90 | 18 | 4 |
2593 | Today's guest will speak to us about evasion and survival. | 1.2411 | 0.04787 | 112 | 89 | 19 | 4 |
2594 | Human Resources would like a word, apparently. | 1.2411 | 0.04952 | 112 | 90 | 17 | 5 |
2595 | For next year's meeting, someone said to me, "Why not Doral"? | 1.2411 | 0.04787 | 112 | 89 | 19 | 4 |
2596 | And I’ve asked Bob to handle community outreach. | 1.2411 | 0.04616 | 112 | 88 | 21 | 3 |
2597 | Excuse me, but we agreed Amphibians-only at the Board meetings. | 1.2411 | 0.04952 | 112 | 90 | 17 | 5 |
2598 | Well, we agree; "I'm the chosen one." | 1.2411 | 0.04438 | 112 | 87 | 23 | 2 |
2599 | Bob here will be implementing our new corporate dress code. | 1.2411 | 0.04616 | 112 | 88 | 21 | 3 |
2600 | Finally! Lunch is here! | 1.2411 | 0.04253 | 112 | 86 | 25 | 1 |
2601 | I'd like to introduce you all to our new director of diversity. | 1.2411 | 0.04616 | 112 | 88 | 21 | 3 |
2602 | He's both non-partisan and non-biological" | 1.2411 | 0.04616 | 112 | 88 | 21 | 3 |
2603 | Please join me in welcoming Walter, our new therapy human. | 1.2411 | 0.04787 | 112 | 89 | 19 | 4 |
2604 | Okay folks, this is our new hire, Mr. Smith. Please note: he's wearing a tie. | 1.2411 | 0.04787 | 112 | 89 | 19 | 4 |
2605 | Please welcome Ted—and, remember, it’s illegal to mock a co-worker’s physical appearance. | 1.2411 | 0.05267 | 112 | 92 | 13 | 7 |
2606 | Wow Yog Sothoth, your Stephen Miller costume is perfect! | 1.2411 | 0.05112 | 112 | 91 | 15 | 6 |
2607 | And I know you'll all want to join me in welcoming our new Chief Diversity Officer. | 1.2411 | 0.04253 | 112 | 86 | 25 | 1 |
2608 | All those in favor of a facial recognition system? | 1.2411 | 0.04787 | 112 | 89 | 19 | 4 |
2609 | This is James. He'll be with us for two weeks. He's from the Earth branch. | 1.2411 | 0.04787 | 112 | 89 | 19 | 4 |
2610 | Let’s welcome our new team leader. Looks like he’s ready to shake things up around here. | 1.2411 | 0.04616 | 112 | 88 | 21 | 3 |
2611 | Human Resources has a bone to pick with our department. | 1.2411 | 0.04616 | 112 | 88 | 21 | 3 |
2612 | I called this meeting to drain the swamp. | 1.2411 | 0.04787 | 112 | 89 | 19 | 4 |
2613 | Everyone welcome Bob, we're having him for lunch. | 1.2411 | 0.04616 | 112 | 88 | 21 | 3 |
2614 | Well, the National Science Foundation has completed its fact-finding, and our conclusion is unanimous: climate change is real. | 1.2405 | 0.05469 | 79 | 62 | 15 | 2 |
2615 | Wow! Your costume is so inventive Larry. | 1.2397 | 0.04549 | 121 | 96 | 21 | 4 |
2616 | I'd like everyone to meet our new chief diversity officer... | 1.2389 | 0.04221 | 113 | 87 | 25 | 1 |
2617 | What qualifies you for Monsters Inc.? | 1.2389 | 0.04913 | 113 | 91 | 17 | 5 |
2618 | The first Intergalactic United Nations meeting was rather uneventful. | 1.2389 | 0.04913 | 113 | 91 | 17 | 5 |
2619 | Meet Jerome, our diversity consultant | 1.2389 | 0.04913 | 113 | 91 | 17 | 5 |
2620 | I'd like to introduce our new Vice President for Diversity... | 1.2389 | 0.04913 | 113 | 91 | 17 | 5 |
2621 | Everyone, this is Kevin, our new hire. He may look odd but I know he’ll fit right in. | 1.2389 | 0.04404 | 113 | 88 | 23 | 2 |
2622 | I’ve just learned we can congratulate ourselves. We’ve now outlasted Barney’s! | 1.2389 | 0.04749 | 113 | 90 | 19 | 4 |
2623 | We're happy to report that our diversity goal has been met for this year. | 1.2389 | 0.04749 | 113 | 90 | 19 | 4 |
2624 | You could all take a lesson from Steve. At least he's dressed up. | 1.2389 | 0.04404 | 113 | 88 | 23 | 2 |
2625 | Corporate rules require diversity. | 1.2385 | 0.04303 | 109 | 84 | 24 | 1 |
2626 | It's survival of the fittest, and we're getting our butts kicked by this? | 1.2385 | 0.05031 | 109 | 88 | 16 | 5 |
2627 | Bob has a very different view of our complete world domination and elimination of all mankind strategy. | 1.2385 | 0.04681 | 109 | 86 | 20 | 3 |
2628 | Bob here is interviewing for the position of mascot. | 1.2385 | 0.05197 | 109 | 89 | 14 | 6 |
2629 | Raise your fore-limb if you want to let him have a seat at the table. | 1.2385 | 0.04859 | 109 | 87 | 18 | 4 |
2630 | It’s clear we’ve met this year’s goal for diversity. | 1.2385 | 0.04859 | 109 | 87 | 18 | 4 |
2631 | OK. Our next candidate doesn't claim he's much of a people person. I'll let him explain how he'll fit in. | 1.2385 | 0.04303 | 109 | 84 | 24 | 1 |
2632 | Our new agent here says he's got contacts at Disney and Marvel. | 1.2385 | 0.04681 | 109 | 86 | 20 | 3 |
2633 | I motion that we eat the human for lunch. | 1.2385 | 0.04303 | 109 | 84 | 24 | 1 |
2634 | Let's vote. The cafeteria, take-out or this guy. | 1.2385 | 0.05031 | 109 | 88 | 16 | 5 |
2635 | I realize most of us look and feel like hell so early in the morning, but we have some important business to discuss. | 1.2385 | 0.04681 | 109 | 86 | 20 | 3 |
2636 | Gentlemen, please welcome Carl, our newest board member. Or, perhaps, lunch. | 1.2385 | 0.04859 | 109 | 87 | 18 | 4 |
2637 | I took the liberty of ordering for the table. Raw is ok for everyone? | 1.2385 | 0.04859 | 109 | 87 | 18 | 4 |
2638 | I brought you here today to talk about inclusivityness. | 1.2385 | 0.04681 | 109 | 86 | 20 | 3 |
2639 | Mr. Steven's work speaks for itself. We're lucky to have him. | 1.2385 | 0.05031 | 109 | 88 | 16 | 5 |
2640 | Paul will be joining the board as our token human. | 1.2385 | 0.04859 | 109 | 87 | 18 | 4 |
2641 | I'd like to start the meeting by welcoming our new Director of Human Resources. | 1.2385 | 0.04859 | 109 | 87 | 18 | 4 |
2642 | I guess you’re not familiar with the concept of casual Fridays. | 1.2385 | 0.04496 | 109 | 85 | 22 | 2 |
2643 | Irwin here doesn't speak our language, so I brought him along for lunch. I hope no one's a vegetarian." | 1.2385 | 0.04859 | 109 | 87 | 18 | 4 |
2644 | Are you ready for the brontosaurus which the Diversity Office is bringing in next week? | 1.2385 | 0.05031 | 109 | 88 | 16 | 5 |
2645 | I know we said no earthlings on the Board, but his opposable thumb might come in handy. | 1.2385 | 0.04496 | 109 | 85 | 22 | 2 |
2646 | In this world Amazon rules guys! | 1.2385 | 0.05031 | 109 | 88 | 16 | 5 |
2647 | Coffee, anyone...? | 1.2385 | 0.04681 | 109 | 86 | 20 | 3 |
2648 | We want to make the Board more diverse | 1.2385 | 0.04681 | 109 | 86 | 20 | 3 |
2649 | Please meet out new Human Resources Manager. | 1.2385 | 0.05031 | 109 | 88 | 16 | 5 |
2650 | Everybody welcome Brian from accounts. Please don't eat him or at least please wait till December's payroll is completed. | 1.2385 | 0.04859 | 109 | 87 | 18 | 4 |
2651 | Everyone, Tod is here to give some pointers on getting the customer to believe you exist. | 1.2385 | 0.04859 | 109 | 87 | 18 | 4 |
2652 | Ah... another day at the white house. | 1.2385 | 0.04303 | 109 | 84 | 24 | 1 |
2653 | I know what you're all thinking: what even is fibromyalgia? | 1.2385 | 0.04859 | 109 | 87 | 18 | 4 |
2654 | "I'd like to introduce James, our newest hire. He says he went to "Eton" - who wants to be first? | 1.2385 | 0.04681 | 109 | 86 | 20 | 3 |
2655 | We need to think outside the box, so I invited him here today to offer us an earthly perspective. | 1.2385 | 0.04859 | 109 | 87 | 18 | 4 |
2656 | This guy has represented the ugliest people, we'll be fine. | 1.2385 | 0.04681 | 109 | 88 | 16 | 4 |
2657 | No, I'm sorry to disappoint you,but this is our new diversity candidate, not today's lunch order. | 1.2385 | 0.05197 | 109 | 89 | 14 | 6 |
2658 | Before we vote on whether to admit this candidate, I would like to remind you all not get hung up on his appearance. | 1.2385 | 0.04303 | 109 | 84 | 24 | 1 |
2659 | Gentlemen, there's no need to resort to scare tactics. | 1.2385 | 0.04303 | 109 | 84 | 24 | 1 |
2660 | What happened to our last waiter? | 1.2385 | 0.04859 | 109 | 87 | 18 | 4 |
2661 | Welcome to "lunch* | 1.2385 | 0.05197 | 109 | 89 | 14 | 6 |
2662 | Can you believe this was their leader?! | 1.2385 | 0.04496 | 109 | 85 | 22 | 2 |
2663 | He says that buying life insurance doesn't have to be everyone's worst nightmare. | 1.2385 | 0.04681 | 109 | 86 | 20 | 3 |
2664 | I propose we allow him to join. He will add diversity and rarity as his species will soon be extinct. | 1.2385 | 0.04681 | 109 | 86 | 20 | 3 |
2665 | I want you all to meet the new man in accounting. And by man, I mean man. | 1.2385 | 0.04496 | 109 | 85 | 22 | 2 |
2666 | Who invited the suit? | 1.2385 | 0.04496 | 109 | 85 | 22 | 2 |
2667 | We'll make him an odor he can't refuse. | 1.2385 | 0.05197 | 109 | 89 | 14 | 6 |
2668 | Wyatt has been hired to be the company's new public face. | 1.2385 | 0.04859 | 109 | 87 | 18 | 4 |
2669 | In our boardroom diversity rules | 1.2385 | 0.04496 | 109 | 85 | 22 | 2 |
2670 | This diversity thing may have gone too far | 1.2385 | 0.04681 | 109 | 86 | 20 | 3 |