Contest #681


Cartoon

681

The winning captions

These captions are chosen by The New Yorker.

  1. “You pinch me one more time and you’re going to find yourself in hot water.”
  2. “I can’t believe you wore shorts. Everyone was staring.”
  3. “Yeah. Like you’re such a great catch.”


Name Value
Submission deadline 2019-10-14T00:46:00.000Z
Voting started -
Voting ended 2019-10-28T00:50:00.000Z
Finalists announced 2019-10-22T00:49:00.000Z
Magazine(s) announcing finalists issued October 28, 2019
Number of captions 6163
Number of responses 1117477
Number of participants -


Dashboard

In this table, the "mean" means the empirically measured average funniness score when the "unfunny", "somewhat funny" and "funny" receive a funniness score of 1, 2, 3 respectively. "Precison" is the standard error of the mean, the standard deviation of the mean estimate. With that, a caption with an empirical mean μ and precision σ has true mean in the range [μ - 2σ, μ + 2σ] with 95% probability by the 68-95-99.7 rule assuming the responses are indepedent and identically distributed.

Rank Caption Mean Precision Total votes "Unfunny" votes "Somewhat funny" votes "Funny" votes
0 Mobster, Larry. The invitation said to dress like a mobster. 2.2153 0.00582 15726 2974 6434 6317
1 You pinch me one more time and your going to find yourself in hot water. 2.1571 0.00640 14651 3512 5360 5779
2 Do that again and I'll put the rubber bands back on. 2.1168 0.00605 15610 3743 6335 5530
3 I can’t believe you wore shorts. EVERYONE was staring. 2.0919 0.00678 13369 3621 4927 4821
4 When you said on the phone " I'm Claude" , I assumed it was your name. 2.0042 0.00728 12201 3994 4189 4017
5 You need to stop introducing yourself as my Maine squeeze. 1.9966 0.00689 12627 3881 4938 3806
6 It's not the claws. It's the screaming every time you get in the hot tub. 1.9810 0.00710 12283 3975 4588 3720
7 She comes to a party with a wooden mallet and a pick. Don't tell me she didn't have her eyes on you the whole night! 1.9523 0.00755 10583 3513 4085 2985
8 Oh, I’M crabby? 1.9391 0.00796 9557 3278 3613 2666
9 I figured "must love shellfish" was coded language for "not Jewish." 1.9257 0.00763 10774 3872 3855 3047
10 I thought you said selfish. 1.8555 0.00742 10427 3920 4119 2387
11 I thought you said your relatives were mobsters 1.8409 0.00722 10862 4119 4370 2373
12 Let’s just skip the foreplay. 1.8374 0.00817 9404 3895 3166 2343
13 You deserve butter. 1.8335 0.00891 7814 3216 2697 1901
14 Yeah. Like you’re such a great catch. 1.8225 0.00810 8445 3264 3434 1747
15 How would you like always being introduced as "the turf"? 1.8146 0.00935 7294 3156 2345 1793
16 The worst part is - my last boyfriend's hands were clammy! 1.8000 0.00858 8234 3521 2855 1858
17 How did you even manage to swipe right? 1.7931 0.00890 7543 3243 2638 1662
18 It's just that I could use a hand every once and a while. 1.7818 0.00898 6971 2942 2630 1399
19 Why would you think that’s what I meant by “grow a pair”? 1.7804 0.00928 7221 3255 2312 1653
20 With you, it's always one step forward, two steps sideways. 1.7785 0.00944 6597 2874 2326 1396
21 I just think having all of your profile pictures be headshots was misleading. 1.7702 0.00829 7766 3223 3127 1416
22 If you pinch me one more time, I'm putting the rubber bands back on. 1.7696 0.01168 4276 1872 1525 879
23 The nerve, kicking us out! The sign clearly says they serve seafood! 1.7512 0.01356 3207 1444 1117 646
24 Usually, 'a long line of lobstermen' refers to one's profession." 1.7341 0.01216 3889 1780 1365 743
25 'That 'clawed your way to the top' thing is just not funny anymore.. 1.7328 0.01648 1909 818 783 308
26 I notice those aren't handy for picking up the check. 1.7328 0.01366 3061 1407 1071 583
27 Your fly's unzipped. 1.7270 0.01073 5345 2599 1617 1129
28 You had three wishes, Gary! Three! 1.7127 0.01267 3759 1835 1168 754
29 Don't make me put the rubber bands back on. 1.6987 0.00902 6715 3171 2404 1140
30 Yes - I do think my parents will notice. 1.6986 0.01238 3431 1579 1309 542
31 When you said you were transitioning, I had something else in mind. 1.6897 0.01092 4364 2054 1623 687
32 Sorry, I prefer men with big mussels " 1.6852 0.01227 3805 1878 1247 680
33 So, now that you've taken the gloves off, is there anything else I should know? 1.6818 0.01016 4965 2353 1853 758
34 ...but no....you had to go and snap my mother's head off. 1.6268 0.01155 4121 2222 1227 671
35 How come they didn't ask the woman who had the frog legs to leave? 1.6226 0.01392 2838 1528 857 453
36 You expect me to believe that's why you never text me back??!! 1.6157 0.01144 3778 1949 1336 493
37 I told you they wouldn't let you in with shorts on! 1.6147 0.02866 654 350 206 98
38 I do the parking meter. I do the ATM. I'm sick of it. 1.6136 0.01960 1351 712 449 190
39 Shorts and a long sleeve shirt? Really? 1.6106 0.01297 3056 1629 995 432
40 When I said I was in the mood for a spineless crustacean, I assumed you knew I meant a Republican. 1.6090 0.01411 2836 1592 769 475
41 This is New York City - I told you no one would notice. 1.6079 0.01450 2367 1237 821 308
42 Well, your profile did mention long walks on the beach... 1.6048 0.01591 1966 1031 681 254
43 Let's taunt the witch," you said. "It'll be fun," you said 1.6027 0.01742 1855 1037 518 300
44 I'm going to need a little more than "I went to Maine with a buddy but the rest is a blur." 1.5847 0.01518 2196 1207 695 293
45 Please stop saying that you’re on a roll. 1.5840 0.01908 1452 811 434 207
46 My mercury test came back positive. 1.5814 0.01597 2069 1165 607 297
47 You always find a way to avoid picking up the check. 1.5754 0.01530 2141 1190 671 279
48 Something about this relationship doesn't seem kosher. 1.5739 0.02031 1164 633 394 137
49 I get your issues with a hot bath, but it wouldn’t kill you to take a shower. 1.5729 0.01595 1859 1011 633 215
50 Your slow rollout of Halloween is annoying. 1.5683 0.01686 1976 1190 459 327
51 Look, wear the claws if you want, but I’m not going to the party dressed as a piece of tail! 1.5652 0.01692 1886 1107 496 283
52 You get one wish and you go for lobster claws? 1.5650 0.01573 2014 1155 590 269
53 Well I feel like chicken but you don't see me sprouting feathers. 1.5618 0.01759 1570 896 474 200
54 I just wish you were a little less shellfish at times 1.5526 0.01770 1681 989 456 236
55 There was no need to freak out. The melted butter was for your popcorn. 1.5509 0.01843 1454 832 443 179
56 So,what were your first two wishes? 1.5500 0.01785 1529 875 467 186
57 ‘I thought you were joking when you said you clawed your way to the top!’ 1.5487 0.01741 1580 908 481 189
58 Mobster, mobster, the party's theme was mobsters. 1.5469 0.01870 1430 828 422 180
59 It's not me, it's you. 1.5465 0.01871 1528 912 397 219
60 Gloria complains about her husband having two left feet. She has no idea how lucky she is. 1.5463 0.01869 1404 807 427 170
61 I attract nothing but bottom feeders. 1.5455 0.01832 1452 841 433 178
62 Yeah, but Edward Scissorhands hasn't been out of work for the last five years. 1.5455 0.02816 638 372 184 82
63 Despite your exquisite taste, we’re just not compatible. 1.5434 0.01917 1452 870 375 207
64 I TOLD you not to insult the magician! 1.5412 0.01809 1432 832 432 168
65 I was just getting used to the scissors, Edward. 1.5349 0.01966 1288 759 369 160
66 I am so embarrassed. I can't believe you're wearing shorts! 1.5330 0.01944 1257 734 378 145
67 Don't you snap at me. 1.5329 0.01969 1261 740 370 151
68 I don't know Michael. Why do YOU think we never hold hands any more?" 1.5307 0.01954 1236 720 377 139
69 You need to give up this dream of yours to be a Proctologist, Jack. 1.5305 0.02144 1131 684 294 153
70 I SAW you pinch her! 1.5284 0.02079 1160 693 321 146
71 You are, hands down, the most shellfish man I’ve ever met! 1.5234 0.02099 1091 651 311 129
72 This isn’t what I meant when I said, “I could go for lobster.” 1.5231 0.02020 1103 654 328 121
73 That's no excuse for not texting me. 1.5191 0.02117 1048 619 314 115
74 Being from Maine doesn't explain everything. 1.5165 0.02838 544 314 179 51
75 ...I think I'm allergic to your family 1.5160 0.02148 998 588 305 105
76 Couldn't you just use the salad tongs like everyone else? 1.5159 0.02161 1006 598 294 112
77 You can forget about getting to second base 1.5147 0.02244 985 599 265 121
78 Must you always be so shellfish? 1.5146 0.02256 991 607 258 126
79 I don’t care if you don’t like how it feels. We’re using a rubber band. 1.5113 0.02316 927 579 225 122
80 From now on, just let the Sommelier open the bottle. 1.5107 0.02244 932 558 272 102
81 Oh, sure. “Let’s just try the 3D printer. What could go wrong?” you said! 1.5087 0.02283 922 559 257 106
82 Stop snapping at me all the time! 1.5083 0.02317 901 548 248 105
83 If you do that again , the rubberbands go back on . 1.5082 0.02366 913 568 226 119
84 Well, when a Genie offers you a wish, maybe you should be a bit more specific. 1.5063 0.02258 867 511 273 83
85 Not what I meant when I said you needed to break out of your shell. 1.5062 0.02253 885 525 272 88
86 Crushing beer cans is not a super power. 1.5057 0.02279 882 535 251 96
87 How exactly did your parents meet? 1.5040 0.02220 865 525 252 88
88 I liked you better before you came out of your shell. 1.5040 0.02360 865 529 236 100
89 Do you know how it makes me feel when you say that you’re a bottom feeder? 1.5012 0.02397 816 496 231 89
90 Well, next time we go to a party I'm bringing the rubber bands. 1.4987 0.02468 798 494 210 94
91 Of course I support your transition. It's just that I'm going to miss the lobster I fell in love with. 1.4974 0.02406 782 472 231 79
92 What do you mean, how did I know you pinched her? 1.4968 0.02410 789 479 228 82
93 You can't deny it this time. I caught you red handed. 1.4968 0.02374 787 477 231 79
94 Just for once could you try not to be so shellfish? 1.4962 0.02490 786 489 204 93
95 Admit it. Gene splicing is trickier than you thought. 1.4948 0.02532 774 486 193 95
96 It isn't gonna work Jim, but i appreciated the help with the jars. 1.4948 0.02451 774 474 217 83
97 Don't even think about getting to second base. 1.4941 0.02444 765 466 220 79
98 I guess what happens in Maine doesn't necessarily stay in Maine 1.4933 0.02502 744 457 207 80
99 You could've wished for world peace... 1.4926 0.02541 747 467 191 88
100 Again, if they ask if you want to hold the baby, say "No thank you!" 1.4913 0.02485 745 457 210 78
101 I've waded too far out in the dating pool. 1.4904 0.02450 730 448 209 73
102 I don’t care that you can get things done in a pinch. 1.4904 0.02454 730 441 220 69
103 Three wishes. You had three wishes. 1.4904 0.02573 730 457 188 85
104 Your profile said Christian, not crustacean! 1.4890 0.02445 724 451 198 75
105 You never return my texts. 1.4881 0.02511 713 436 206 71
106 Try that again and you'll be in hot water. 1.4879 0.02574 701 434 192 75
107 In medical school you may want to rethink gynecology as your specialty. 1.4879 0.02633 701 464 141 96
108 Mother always said that you’re a shellfish bastard. 1.4872 0.02674 704 450 165 89
109 All the super powers and you went with “lobster claws?” 1.4872 0.02621 704 443 179 82
110 Look, when your dating profile stated "must like lobster".. 1.4864 0.02582 701 436 189 76
111 Why is that impossible for you to grasp? 1.4856 0.02664 694 441 169 84
112 White shorts. After labor day. I've never been so embarrassed in my life. 1.4840 0.02609 688 430 183 75
113 When they said you were clawed I thought that was your name. 1.4839 0.02554 684 420 197 67
114 They're not going to let you in without your rubber band. 1.4837 0.02508 674 419 189 66
115 Next time don't ask to hold the baby. 1.4837 0.02657 674 424 174 76
116 Yeah I do think it should have been something you mentioned in your profile. 1.4831 0.02485 681 410 213 58
117 So I guess foreplay's out of the question 1.4821 0.02704 672 429 162 81
118 And I thought you said your father was a Mobster... 1.4820 0.02581 668 411 192 65
119 You look ridiculous in those baggy shorts.Everyone is looking at you 1.4818 0.02647 660 412 178 70
120 No.... I don't mind the beard. 1.4818 0.02519 658 396 207 55
121 The rubber bands are going back on when we get home, mister! 1.4811 0.02559 663 405 197 61
122 Seek kelp. 1.4811 0.02754 634 402 159 73
123 So I guess this means the hot tub is out. 1.4800 0.02531 650 392 204 54
124 Pinch me again and I'll crack you. 1.4799 0.02700 648 409 167 72
125 When you said you have an "unusual reaction" to seafood, you could have been more specific. 1.4799 0.02665 648 405 175 68
126 So you're telling me that I'm crabby? 1.4793 0.02629 651 404 182 65
127 They all know you're from Maine, Bob. 1.4791 0.02674 645 406 170 69
128 Just once I'd like to see you pick up the check. 1.4791 0.02535 645 389 203 53
129 Don’t talk to me about boiling points... 1.4791 0.02683 645 405 171 69
130 What good are pincer implants if you still can't pick up a tab once in a while? 1.4789 0.02636 641 399 178 64
131 You snap at me again and the rubber bands go back on. 1.4770 0.02564 631 382 197 52
132 Mobsters! I said I’m attracted to mobsters! 1.4769 0.02739 627 397 161 69
133 When you said 'My dad was a lobsterman, his dad was a lobsterman and I'm a lobsterman.', I thought you meant the family business. 1.4760 0.02653 624 386 179 59
134 Then how did Marci get that rip in her skirt? 1.4748 0.02710 615 385 168 62
135 Well, you can forget about bases 2 and 3. 1.4747 0.02717 613 384 167 62
136 That was my nicest bra. 1.4741 0.02734 618 393 158 67
137 You are NOT the Catch of the Day. 1.4735 0.02805 604 386 150 68
138 Did you get them the same place you got the crabs? 1.4718 0.02732 602 383 156 63
139 Some catch you turned out to be. 1.4717 0.02687 600 372 173 55
140 The problem with you, Joel,is that you never completely come out of your shell. 1.4710 0.02701 586 362 172 52
141 Of course you can't help with laundry or dishes. How convenient. 1.4705 0.02751 593 373 161 59
142 Agh... I should've kissed the frog... 1.4699 0.02834 581 371 147 63
143 No, I do not want to see your mussels. 1.4677 0.02831 573 365 148 60
144 Seriously?! We are going to a nice restaurant and you're wearing shorts? 1.4677 0.02926 573 374 130 69
145 You know I hate that shirt. 1.4676 0.02827 571 363 149 59
146 Stop blaming Kafka... 1.4667 0.02831 570 363 148 59
147 Why can't you just accept it--no one wants to hear you play the piano! 1.4664 0.02921 566 368 132 66
148 We’re finally meeting my Mother and you can’t even put on a tie? 1.4662 0.02838 562 357 148 57
149 You sort of buried the lead in your dating profile there, wouldn’t you say? 1.4662 0.02781 562 352 158 52
150 You didn't have to ask to hold the baby. 1.4659 0.02818 558 352 152 54
151 How you think it makes me feel when you let the waitress butter you up like that? 1.4655 0.02935 565 369 129 67
152 Dating you would be getting into a gray area, according to my rabbi. 1.4652 0.02819 561 355 151 55
153 I just don’t like people calling us Surf n Turf. 1.4650 0.02889 557 358 139 60
154 Why not just a tattoo like everybody else? 1.4645 0.02851 549 348 147 54
155 You better hope that skips a generation 1.4644 0.02763 547 339 162 46
156 And don't think this won't land you in hot water! 1.4638 0.02805 552 347 154 51
157 And stop referring to me as the "Turf". It's so objectifying. 1.4620 0.02983 539 352 125 62
158 So you're sweet and tender on the inside huh? 1.4618 0.02908 537 344 138 55
159 I just can't believe you wore shorts to meet my parents. 1.4610 0.02907 525 334 140 51
160 You're becoming more and more shellfish. 1.4608 0.03109 536 361 103 72
161 Please stop referring to us as "surf and turf"... 1.4605 0.02879 532 338 143 51
162 'I come from a long line of lobstermen' usually refers to one's profession." 1.4601 0.02927 526 337 136 53
163 I cannot believe you are wearing shorts to meet my parents. 1.4601 0.02952 526 339 132 55
164 I know you're angry. Your claws always get red when you're angry. 1.4600 0.02810 513 317 156 40
165 Well the doctor said if it lasts more than four hours than it's probably time to panic." 1.4598 0.02893 522 331 142 49
166 So, you're saying it's ME, I'm the crabby one? 1.4590 0.02856 525 331 147 47
167 I just feel like I’m moving forward in this relationship, and you’re moving sideways. 1.4577 0.02875 520 329 144 47
168 Last time I take you out without your rubber bands. 1.4570 0.02946 512 328 134 50
169 Anything else I should know about? 1.4570 0.02965 512 336 119 56
170 All you seem to do lately is snap at everyone! 1.4567 0.02936 508 324 136 48
171 That's not what I meant when I said, 'Wear something snappy!'. 1.4542 0.04037 240 148 75 17
172 When you told me you come from a long line of lobstermen, I didn't know you were being literal. 1.4538 0.02895 498 314 142 42
173 Let's move to Maine, he says. What could go wrong? he says. 1.4538 0.02824 498 309 152 37
174 I'm a good catch, too, you know. 1.4529 0.02999 446 278 134 34
175 That was my FAVORITE bra!” 1.4529 0.03035 488 316 123 49
176 Those shorts make you look ridiculous. 1.4517 0.03053 487 317 120 50
177 You’re not going to claw your way out of this one Jack. I caught you red handed! 1.4517 0.02830 487 319 123 45
178 No, I will not be Mrs. Claws for Halloween. 1.4517 0.02983 487 312 130 45
179 No, I don't want to go to your Halloween party as the turf. 1.4513 0.02986 483 309 130 44
180 I don’t care what they say about big claws. 1.4513 0.03113 483 318 112 53
181 You might want to elaborate on the 'transitioning' reference in your ad 1.4500 0.03099 480 315 114 51
182 On the phone I thought you said you were an ex-mobster. 1.4500 0.02985 480 312 122 46
183 A thousand restaurants in New York and you had to recognize the main course. 1.4498 0.03178 478 319 103 56
184 Maybe next time when you meet a genie you won’t be drunk in a seafood restaurant. 1.4498 0.03066 478 311 119 48
185 I don’t care if you live at the beach, shorts after Labor day isn’t done in Manhattan. 1.4481 0.03051 462 297 123 42
186 Try that again and I’m bringing out the rubber bands. 1.4480 0.02964 471 299 133 39
187 Well, SOMEBODY must have pinched her! 1.4480 0.03024 471 303 125 43
188 You look ridiculous, Kevin. Who wears shorts with a sweatshirt? 1.4471 0.03015 463 296 127 40
189 OK, I'm sorry. I wish I'd never told you to grow a pair. 1.4466 0.03185 468 312 103 53
190 Bob just couldn't quite put his finger on the problem he was having with Julie. 1.4452 0.03110 456 297 115 44
191 Tonight was not the time to come out of your shell. 1.4452 0.03094 456 296 117 43
192 I just think you're being shellfish. 1.4440 0.03191 455 302 104 49
193 Don't talk to me, you had your claws all over her 1.4440 0.02955 455 297 118 40
194 We’ve talked about this. You can take them off when you learn to put down the phone. 1.4435 0.03211 451 300 102 49
195 Look - if I had known my assistant was also a genie I never would have yelled “Give me a hand - and make it snappy!” 1.4435 0.03196 451 299 104 48
196 I just wish you would be less shellfish. 1.4435 0.03405 451 313 76 62
197 When you said "lobsterman," I thought you worked on a boat or something. 1.4424 0.03206 443 293 104 46
198 Don't complain to me. You're the one who bought shorts with buttons. 1.4422 0.03249 441 294 99 48
199 You could have at least shaved to meet my mother for the first time... 1.4422 0.03280 441 296 95 50
200 Don't you even think about trying to get to second base! 1.4417 0.03222 446 297 101 48
201 If you're allergic, why do you keep ordering it? 1.4417 0.03142 446 292 111 43
202 Well that was embarrassing! You yelling murderer at the seafood restaurant. 1.4401 0.03270 434 290 97 47
203 You just can't let go of anything, can you? 1.4395 0.03309 430 289 93 48
204 Something other than a head shot on your profile wouldn't hurt. 1.4395 0.03026 430 275 122 33
205 You just had to snap at the waiter again didn’t you. 1.4385 0.03152 431 281 111 39
206 Why can't you just get tattoos like everybody else 1.4385 0.03030 431 274 125 32
207 Somehow, it never feels like a playful pinch. 1.4384 0.03074 422 269 121 32
208 One day those things are gonna land you in a lot of hot water. 1.4372 0.03122 430 279 114 37
209 Pinch me one more time and you'll be swimming in butter. 1.4368 0.03198 419 274 107 38
210 ...and when the guy in the turban asked, 'And what would you wish for?' I just thought he was the waiter. 1.4354 0.03220 418 275 104 39
211 My old-school Yankee parents would eat you alive. 1.4351 0.03140 416 269 113 34
212 I can't believe our friends think you look weird with a beard. 1.4345 0.03307 412 275 95 42
213 At least your face looks like your pictures. 1.4345 0.03105 412 264 117 31
214 And no more jokes about how I trapped you, or you're cooked. 1.4345 0.03198 412 269 107 36
215 Not every problem can be solved with lemon and butter, John. 1.4341 0.03228 410 269 104 37
216 No wonder you didn’t respond to my texts. 1.4341 0.03263 387 251 104 32
217 Nipple play is a hard no. 1.4341 0.03364 387 256 94 37
218 Stop calling it "our" fetish. 1.4338 0.03220 408 267 105 36
219 Tell it to Kafka. 1.4318 0.03248 403 265 102 36
220 You are so shellfish! 1.4317 0.03161 410 269 106 35
221 And I suppose you want me to clarify something. 1.4317 0.03336 410 276 91 43
222 Lamest. Superpower. Ever. 1.4314 0.03240 401 263 103 35
223 I regret saying get a”better grip” on things. 1.4311 0.03290 399 264 98 37
224 You’re in hot water, mister. 1.4311 0.03092 399 254 118 27
225 Going forward safe sex will also include rubber bands. 1.4307 0.03301 397 263 97 37
226 Great, now I HAVE to get checked. 1.4307 0.03301 397 263 97 37
227 I get that you wanted to impress my father with a firm handshake, but for God’s sake, Ira, THINK! 1.4307 0.03263 397 261 101 35
228 How were you even able to swipe right? 1.4304 0.03332 395 263 94 38
229 Somewhere there's a lobster with hands. 1.4293 0.03268 396 261 100 35
230 I don’t think I like us being referred to as ‘Surf and Turf! 1.4286 0.03291 392 259 98 35
231 It's nice for once to go out with a man who isn't all hands. 1.4286 0.03251 392 257 102 33
232 Sorry, I’m kosher 1.4286 0.03389 392 264 88 40
233 I still say it was insensitive to ask if you wanted your water flat, sparkling, or boiling. 1.4286 0.03369 392 263 90 39
234 You might've mentioned it in your profile. 1.4282 0.03263 390 256 101 33
235 You couldn't settle for a tattoo or a simple piercing, no not you! 1.4275 0.03225 393 257 104 32
236 Will you stop snapping at me? 1.4275 0.03324 393 262 94 37
237 Your profile only said you that you had clawed your way to the top. 1.4275 0.03225 393 257 104 32
238 I knew Edward Sissorhands. Edward Sissorhands was a friend of mine. You, sir, are no Edward Sissorhands. 1.4275 0.03387 386 259 89 38
239 Next time we are meeting new friends: wear the rubber-bands 1.4275 0.03224 386 251 105 30
240 So that's your excuse for not texting! 1.4275 0.03426 386 261 85 40
241 You think you can just claw your way back into my life? 1.4271 0.03298 384 253 98 33
242 I know you clawed your way to the top but look what it's cost you. 1.4256 0.03344 383 255 93 35
243 Something doesn't feel kosher about all of this. 1.4255 0.03304 376 247 98 31
244 I can't believe you brought those to the bris. 1.4250 0.03648 360 249 69 42
245 Well, what would your fourth wish have been? 1.4240 0.03352 375 249 93 33
246 Well THAT was an embarrassing way to find out I'm allergic to shellfish. 1.4237 0.03278 380 250 99 31
247 Social media can be so miss leading......"when you said you were a lobsterman I thought it meant you worked in Maine" 1.4232 0.03399 371 248 89 34
248 First of all, asking a genie for some lobster claws is a really dumb wish. Secondly... 1.4232 0.03462 371 251 83 37
249 I'm the one who needs some buttering up Henry 1.4232 0.03312 371 244 97 30
250 I'm sorry you didn't enjoy the hot tub. 1.4203 0.03509 364 248 79 37
251 I thought you said you were SELFISH. 1.4199 0.03523 362 247 78 37
252 I can’t believe you fell for that trap. 1.4199 0.03435 362 243 86 33
253 Would you please just TRY the hand cream? 1.4199 0.03322 362 238 96 28
254 I don’t care, you still should’ve picked up the tab. 1.4199 0.03228 362 234 104 24
255 I'm just saying... you could have wished for world peace 1.4199 0.03412 362 242 88 32
256 Another restaurant we cannot go to. Would it kill you to put on a tie? 1.4194 0.03493 360 244 81 35
257 Foreplay is off the table 1.4191 0.03664 346 239 69 38
258 That’s not what my father meant when he said you should grow a pair. 1.4190 0.03495 358 245 77 36
259 Well, honestly! When you said you had crab claws, I thought you'd be making dinner! 1.4190 0.03264 358 235 97 26
260 Your dating profile should mention that you need help with zippers. 1.4190 0.03393 358 238 90 30
261 Look, I like you... it just wouldn't be kosher 1.4190 0.03573 358 246 74 38
262 I can't take you anywhere without your rubber bands. 1.4190 0.03347 358 236 94 28
263 They said you'd be a real 'catch'" 1.4190 0.03228 358 231 104 23
264 We can go to my place, but first I need to grab some butter and a lemon. 1.4190 0.03300 358 244 82 32
265 And remember when we get there, don't scuttle. 1.4190 0.03484 358 242 82 34
266 I'm sorry, Jimmy, I'm just not turned on by men with beards. 1.4190 0.03252 358 232 102 24
267 It's October. Those shorts are so embarrassing. 1.4190 0.03616 358 248 70 40
268 That “can’t reach my wallet” excuse is getting old. 1.4190 0.03529 358 244 78 36
269 Couldn’t you have just taken the bib? 1.4181 0.03420 354 236 88 30
270 The restaurant I am taking you to advertises that they serve lobsters. I just wanted to make sure that we get served. 1.4178 0.03269 359 234 100 25
271 You should have been more specific when you said were a lobsterman. 1.4176 0.03409 352 234 89 29
272 I just don’t like holding hands in public. It’s nothing personal. 1.4176 0.03409 352 234 89 29
273 I told you not to eat the genetically modified lobster. 1.4174 0.03352 357 236 93 28
274 Don't sidestep the question. 1.4167 0.03484 348 234 83 31
275 Brilliant first wish, Bob. Now how are you going to rub the lamp? 1.4162 0.03426 346 230 88 28
276 You shouldn't have taken that job at the nuclear power plant. 1.4162 0.03569 346 236 76 34
277 Your 'help me with my fly' routine is getting old. 1.4162 0.03250 346 223 102 21
278 When I said 'grow a pair' that's not what I meant. 1.4162 0.03275 346 224 100 22
279 I’m sure she didn’t mean anything by it—and besides, she’s right: would it really kill you to come out of your shell? 1.4160 0.03391 351 233 90 28
280 Alright, alright, we won't get a hot tub. 1.4155 0.03331 349 229 95 25
281 I know you looked at my phone, you left butter on it. 1.4155 0.03380 349 231 91 27
282 My mother warned me about dating men from Maine! 1.4150 0.03607 347 239 72 36
283 I told you that CBD oil wasn't FDA approved. 1.4145 0.03407 345 229 89 27
284 True... but you always get a seat on the subway. 1.4145 0.03332 345 226 95 24
285 Yes, but I can hide my acrylic nails by folding my arms. 1.4140 0.03370 343 226 92 25
286 If you crack your knuckles one more time ... 1.4128 0.03462 344 231 84 29
287 Really? ...Shorts. 1.4128 0.03510 344 233 80 31
288 Just for once I'd like to order the bisque! 1.4128 0.03362 344 227 92 25
289 Last time I'll use a dating app with just head shots! 1.4118 0.03389 340 225 90 25
290 Everyone's always trying to butter you up. 1.4118 0.03588 340 233 74 33
291 No, a back rub would not help. 1.4112 0.03048 338 231 83 24
292 Not every handshake has to be firm." 1.4112 0.03402 338 224 89 25
293 You're sure you're out of wishes? 1.4112 0.03491 338 230 78 30
294 You can't just claw your way back into my good graces. 1.4112 0.03529 338 229 79 30
295 Only if those things vibrate. 1.4109 0.03478 331 226 76 29
296 It's not about the claws. It's about you being unwilling to change. 1.4103 0.03597 329 224 75 30
297 You don't bring lobster claws to a clam bake; it's just rude. 1.4102 0.03558 334 227 77 30
298 I told you to stop reading Kafka 1.4102 0.03403 334 221 89 24
299 You're in hot water when we get home. 1.4091 0.03689 330 229 67 34
300 Snap. Snap. Snap. And you never let anything go. 1.4091 0.03457 330 220 85 25
301 Bob, there's just something about you that's not kosher. 1.4091 0.03457 330 220 85 25
302 You didn’t even shave 1.4091 0.03376 330 217 91 22
303 No, I'm not upset because you're late. 1.4091 0.03614 330 226 73 31
304 Your mother was wrong as usual. It didn't make you blind. 1.4085 0.03705 328 228 66 34
305 Your last name is actually Thermidor?!?! 1.4085 0.03551 328 222 78 28
306 First, those were scissors and, second, you're no Johnny Depp. 1.4080 0.03404 326 215 89 22
307 They could have TOLD us they kept kosher before they invited us to dinner. 1.4074 0.03500 324 217 82 25
308 Omg, we get it. You're from Maine. 1.4062 0.03585 320 217 76 27
309 YOU feel trapped!! 1.4062 0.03666 320 220 70 30
310 Sure it makes it hard to text, but you could have called. 1.4056 0.03506 323 217 81 25
311 That's the last time we go out in public without your rubber bands 1.4050 0.03187 321 217 83 21
312 Something about you isn't kosher. 1.4045 0.03604 314 213 75 26
313 Our first date and you're wearing shorts!! 1.4032 0.03595 315 214 75 26
314 And now you understand the difference between "a lifetime supply of crab claws" and "crab claws for life." 1.4032 0.03595 315 214 75 26
315 You didn't think to mention them in your profile? 1.4026 0.03345 313 204 92 17
316 I just wish you weren’t so shellfish. 1.4026 0.03638 313 214 72 27
317 Don't expect me to butter you up. 1.4026 0.03465 313 208 84 21
318 Maybe leave the baby cheek-pinching to me next time. 1.4026 0.03610 313 213 74 26
319 Should I call you my Maine squeeze? 1.4007 0.03629 307 209 73 25
320 Why don’t you just hold up a sign saying ‘it’s our first time in Maine’? 1.3993 0.03691 303 208 69 26
321 At least you don't have crabs 1.3993 0.03750 303 210 65 28
322 And definitely no foreplay. 1.3993 0.03571 303 204 77 22
323 Well, maybe I don't want to mate for life. 1.3993 0.03571 303 204 77 22
324 So I guess we have to sell the hot tub now, too? 1.3993 0.03779 303 211 63 29
325 He was a genii, not a waiter. So when he said "Do you want the crab claws …" 1.3993 0.03691 303 208 69 26
326 I know all my friends think you're a real catch, but. . . 1.3980 0.03592 304 206 75 23
327 Nothing like a bisque walk! 1.3980 0.03603 299 202 75 22
328 I'm only dating you during months with an R 1.3980 0.03725 299 206 67 26
329 They still hurt from last time. 1.3980 0.03814 299 209 61 29
330 Keep it up, you're on a roll. 1.3980 0.03634 299 203 73 23
331 Sorry. I don’t date bottom feeders. 1.3980 0.03664 299 204 71 24
332 Don’t you lie to me. You’ve been caught, well, red-handed. 1.3980 0.03664 299 204 71 24
333 We know you're from Maine. 1.3980 0.03725 299 206 67 26
334 Even if they offer, don't hold the baby. 1.3980 0.03814 299 209 61 29
335 When you said you were Claude, I sure didn't expect this! 1.3980 0.03540 299 200 79 20
336 No, I will not go to the Halloween party dressed as butter. 1.3980 0.03695 299 205 69 25
337 I can't put my finger on it...I just feel trapped. 1.3980 0.03695 299 205 69 25
338 No such claws in our pre-nup! 1.3980 0.03540 299 200 79 20
339 ‘So who did pinch her backside?’ 1.3980 0.03571 299 201 77 21
340 And it wasn't fun trying to explain all the little claw marks to my doctor. 1.3974 0.03786 302 211 62 29
341 Nope... no foreplay. 1.3974 0.03608 302 205 74 23
342 I called you selfish not shellfish 1.3974 0.03728 302 209 66 27
343 It just seems like you're becoming more shellfish... 1.3974 0.03608 302 205 74 23
344 Still, you didn't have to wear the bib to my mother's funeral. 1.3973 0.03712 297 204 68 25
345 Do it, again, and the rubber bands go back on. 1.3967 0.03562 300 202 77 21
346 No, I will NOT dip you in butter. 1.3960 0.03671 298 204 70 24
347 No, we're not spending another summer with your family in Maine. 1.3960 0.03514 298 199 80 19
348 When you said you were born into a long line of lobstermen, I didn't think you meant genetically. 1.3960 0.03578 298 201 76 21
349 I told you a thousand times, rock still beats scissor. 1.3960 0.03578 298 201 76 21
350 You never answer my texts. 1.3945 0.03782 289 200 64 25
351 I don’t care Bob. You’re still spineless. 1.3945 0.03813 289 201 62 26
352 Kiss a frog, get a prince. Kiss a lobster, get a pinch. 1.3938 0.03690 292 200 69 23
353 If you had a backbone, you'd have said something. 1.3937 0.03636 287 194 73 20
354 I don’t care what you say, Edward Scissorhands was not a documentary. 1.3937 0.03832 287 200 61 26
355 Yes, it did fix your texting addiction, but I'd recommend changing therapists. 1.3931 0.03803 290 202 62 26
356 I caught you red-handed, and still you deny it! 1.3931 0.03675 290 198 70 22
357 You only care about yourself. You're just Shellfish. 1.3930 0.03850 285 199 60 26
358 And this is your excuse for not texting me back?! 1.3916 0.03676 286 195 70 21
359 You can be so shellfish at times! 1.3916 0.03642 286 194 72 20
360 I see that you are not only dangerous but also not kosher. 1.3916 0.03488 286 197 69 20
361 I wish you had mentioned in your profile that you have a beard and always wear shorts. 1.3916 0.03791 286 201 59 26
362 You just had to impress my father with a firm handshake, didn't you? 1.3916 0.03934 286 203 54 29
363 I can’t believe you wore shorts to meet my parents 1.3908 0.03858 284 199 59 26
364 Well, I hope you do not have to use the bathroom. 1.3908 0.03793 284 197 63 24
365 When you said you had reactions to shellfish, I figured you meant the hives. 1.3908 0.03793 284 197 63 24
366 Don't look to me for sympathy. How do you think the lobster's doing with your hands? 1.3908 0.03793 284 197 63 24
367 OK, you are what you eat. I get it! 1.3908 0.03591 284 191 75 18
368 No, I don't want to see what you did with the third wish. 1.3901 0.03778 282 195 64 23
369 I broke up with my last boyfriend because he wouldn't stop cracking his knuckles. 1.3901 0.03676 282 192 70 20
370 I don't know what I was thinking, Pincer is the worst dating app ever. 1.3895 0.03782 285 198 63 24
371 You should have never agreed to participate in that study. 1.3895 0.03847 285 200 59 26
372 Well, I guess it's slightly better than your actually having crabs! 1.3887 0.03700 283 194 68 21
373 Oh please! I caught you red-handed. 1.3885 0.03711 278 190 68 20
374 Shellfish asshole. 1.3877 0.04194 276 203 39 34
375 I distinctly said I was interested in an upper crust Asian. 1.3871 0.03870 279 196 58 25
376 Well, you didn't have to snap at me. 1.3871 0.03870 279 196 58 25
377 Hey the good news? I have two more wishes left 1.3871 0.03665 279 190 70 19
378 You haven't been the same since we got back from Newberg. 1.3869 0.03711 274 187 68 19
379 I'm not wearing the bib until you put on the whole costume. 1.3869 0.03601 274 184 74 16
380 It's rubber bands for you when we get home. 1.3869 0.03638 274 185 72 17
381 Don't give me that innocent look. I saw you pinch that waitress. 1.3869 0.03564 274 183 76 15
382 Of course I'm crabby, I caught you red-handed." 1.3869 0.03746 274 188 66 20
383 You change anymore and you'll be in hot water. 1.3869 0.03852 274 191 60 23
384 Would it kill you to put on a nice pair of rubber bands? 1.3869 0.03746 274 188 66 20
385 Something doesn't seem kosher. 1.3869 0.03711 274 187 68 19
386 You're in hot water now, mister. 1.3869 0.03782 274 189 64 21
387 Just go back to your man bun - it was surprisingly less stupid. 1.3869 0.03746 274 188 66 20
388 I think blowing your nose is the least of your problems. 1.3869 0.03526 274 182 78 14
389 I’m not angry that you ate your children, Andrew… I’m just disappointed. 1.3865 0.03840 282 198 59 25
390 I am going to have to get you declawed. It solved my problem with the cat. 1.3855 0.03771 275 190 64 21
391 Everyone is staring at us because you insist on wearing white after Labor Day 1.3855 0.03609 275 188 69 18
392 Shorts?! In October?! People are staring! 1.3855 0.03943 275 195 54 26
393 But how was i to know that was your cousin on my plate! 1.3855 0.03909 275 194 56 25
394 When you said "I'm Claude now", I thought you meant you got a name change. 1.3855 0.03841 275 192 60 23
395 I don't care if you identify as a lobster now; we can't afford that beach house. 1.3855 0.03841 275 192 60 23
396 OK. The psoriasis is gone. Big deal. Didn't you pay attention to the other side effects?! 1.3855 0.03591 275 185 74 16
397 It’s me or the 3D printer. 1.3852 0.03961 270 191 54 25
398 I’m not pointing fingers either. 1.3852 0.03709 270 184 68 18
399 How many times have I told you not to pick children up! 1.3852 0.03730 283 196 65 22
400 When you said you had pincers, I assumed you meant dobermans! 1.3849 0.03636 278 189 71 18
401 Well I’m sorry it triggers you, but I want to eat at the seafood place. 1.3846 0.03717 273 187 67 19
402 Don't think that this gets you out of washing dishes 1.3846 0.03570 273 183 75 15
403 I asked you not to wear shorts. 1.3846 0.03681 273 186 69 18
404 I admit they look great on you, but who wears red lobster claws to a black and white cartoon? 1.3846 0.03929 273 193 55 25
405 Is it too much to ask to put rubber bands on when we go out? 1.3846 0.03455 273 180 81 12
406 No,not even LIGHT fondling until you've gone to the dermatologist. 1.3846 0.03894 273 192 57 24
407 Isn't there some other way for you to stop looking at your phone so much? 1.3846 0.03789 273 189 63 21
408 I think I’d rather you just keep biting your nails. 1.3846 0.03789 273 189 63 21
409 You wasted money on a genetic profile just to learn the obvious. 1.3846 0.03894 273 192 57 24
410 They said you were a bottom feeder. I thought they were kidding. 1.3846 0.03753 273 188 65 20
411 I don't want to be your Maine squeeze. 1.3846 0.04097 273 197 45 30
412 It was all right, except for the foreplay. 1.3846 0.03717 273 187 67 19
413 I’m glad you’re coming out of your shell but do you have to snap at everyone? 1.3846 0.03963 273 194 53 26
414 I'm a catch, too, you know. 1.3843 0.03765 268 184 65 19
415 C'est fini, Jean-Clawed. 1.3843 0.03652 268 186 63 19
416 And yes, you're still in hot water. 1.3843 0.03652 268 181 71 16
417 You look different than you did in the tank. 1.3843 0.03727 268 183 67 18
418 I'm crabby? Look in the mirror, Rob. 1.3838 0.04017 271 194 50 27
419 As Gregor Samsa's cousin Howard awoke one morning from uneasy dreams, he found himself without opposable thumbs BUT with a hot girlfriend. 1.3838 0.03861 271 192 55 24
420 As long as we're clear that this date ends at first base. 1.3835 0.03783 266 183 64 19
421 Oh well, at least you can walk forwards. 1.3835 0.03707 266 181 68 17
422 You can unzip your own pants from now on. 1.3835 0.03707 266 181 68 17
423 Why must we spend every vacation in Maine? 1.3835 0.04002 266 189 52 25
424 Never wear white after Labor Day! Everyone’s staring. 1.3835 0.03745 266 182 66 18
425 Just my luck. I get a male with small claws. 1.3835 0.03857 266 185 60 21
426 Sure thing, and I'm 1/16th Navajo 1.3835 0.03783 266 183 64 19
427 You could have said something in your profile! 1.3835 0.03820 266 184 62 20
428 "You do that again and I'll get the rubber bands." 1.3835 0.03707 266 181 68 17
429 I can’t believe you wore shorts! 1.3829 0.03934 269 190 55 24
430 What if we have children, will they be able to text? 1.3820 0.03734 267 183 66 18
431 Oh sure, but when I wanted to wear my mermaid tail I was the one who was nuts! 1.3811 0.03636 265 179 71 15
432 You could have added 'literally' in your profile when you said you clawed your way to becoming partner in your law firm. 1.3811 0.03865 265 185 59 21
433 For god's sake get a grip 1.3811 0.04046 265 190 49 26
434 I'm not crabby. You're crabby. 1.3810 0.03925 252 175 58 19
435 How about a nice hot bath and then some drawn butter? 1.3810 0.04004 252 177 54 21
436 Seriously Don. How did you not know the try-out was for mobster! 1.3810 0.03718 252 170 68 14
437 You're not exactly a perfect catch. 1.3810 0.03925 252 175 58 19
438 I thought you meant your name was Claude. 1.3810 0.03760 252 171 66 15
439 Really? After I found you under a rock, now you're feeling trapped?! 1.3808 0.03879 260 181 59 20
440 Is it really too much to ask that you wear slacks when we go out? I'm tired of everyone staring. 1.3802 0.03995 263 187 52 24
441 Honestly, Jared. Shorts in October? 1.3802 0.03885 263 184 58 21
442 I just think you should at least get tested. 1.3802 0.03809 263 182 62 19
443 Must you snap at everybody? 1.3793 0.03631 261 176 71 14
444 At least it’s not crabs. 1.3793 0.03866 261 182 59 20
445 Get a grip! I was just kidding about the hot tub. 1.3793 0.03671 261 179 66 16
446 My last boyfriend was a shrimp. 1.3793 0.03789 261 180 63 18
447 To be honest, your shelfishness is claws for concern. 1.3793 0.03904 261 183 57 21
448 I'm over your salary being determined by market price. 1.3793 0.03904 261 183 57 21
449 What the hell did you put in those brownies? 1.3793 0.03942 261 184 55 22
450 Let it go, Harold. All I ordered were the tails.” 1.3793 0.03979 261 185 53 23
451 I'm just saying it's weird when you order ONLY butter and no popcorn. 1.3793 0.03789 261 180 63 18
452 You seem a little crabby. 1.3793 0.03979 261 185 53 23
453 You're gonna be in hot water when we get home, mister! 1.3789 0.03592 256 171 73 12
454 You know they won’t seat you if you wear shorts. 1.3789 0.03840 256 177 61 18
455 I just can't believe how impatient your guitar teacher was today. 1.3789 0.03759 256 175 65 16
456 I like you better when you’re crabby. 1.3784 0.03769 259 178 64 17
457 The on-line post says, "Loves seafood," but a little more specificity would have been welcome. 1.3784 0.03607 259 174 72 13
458 I’m not a mind reader, Bob. How could I have known you’d be terrified of steam baths? 1.3784 0.03808 259 179 62 18
459 I can't see how it's any more difficult to put on a nice pair of slacks. 1.3784 0.04074 259 186 48 25
460 I'm just saying, you should be more specific on your dating profile than simply saying, "in transition" 1.3784 0.03886 259 181 58 20
461 Was it worth it for the free dinner at Red Lobster? 1.3784 0.03808 259 179 62 18
462 If my husband see us together, we're both going to be in hot water. 1.3784 0.03729 259 177 66 16
463 Removing big hands from preferences on my dating app. 1.3784 0.03925 259 182 56 21
464 When you promised me you were the type to "Claw your way to the top" I didn't think you were quite so literal. 1.3784 0.03886 259 181 58 20
465 Ugh. Another bris ruined. 1.3784 0.04074 259 186 48 25
466 My mother will hate those shorts. 1.3784 0.03886 259 181 58 20
467 Seriously, Gerald, Crocs were one thing, but this is RIDICULOUS. 1.3780 0.03736 254 173 66 15
468 That oughta keep you from picking your nose. 1.3780 0.04056 254 181 50 23
469 Another night starring Mr. Parlor Tricks ends in tragedy. 1.3780 0.03819 254 175 62 17
470 And yet you can’t pick up the check. 1.3774 0.03867 257 179 59 19
471 My therapist thinks I’ve got an overactive imagination. 1.3774 0.03867 257 179 59 19
472 So, anything new in the CRISPR research? 1.3774 0.04133 257 186 45 26
473 Really Edward. Lobsterhands this time? 1.3770 0.03920 252 176 57 19
474 It's not the sarcasm--it's the air quotes. 1.3765 0.04081 255 183 48 24
475 It's just for the party, you said. You can turn the gene back off, you said. You think you're so smart. 1.3765 0.04118 255 184 46 25
476 Why did I buy so much butter? No reason. 1.3765 0.04004 255 181 52 22
477 I wish you’d grow a backbone. 1.3765 0.03887 255 178 58 19
478 No, I don’t think you should wait for your annual. It is worth the co-pay! 1.3765 0.03725 255 174 66 15
479 You never listen to me--I said I was a Presbyterian, not a Pescatarian. 1.3765 0.03966 255 180 54 21
480 Look on the bright side. You no longer bite your nails. 1.3765 0.03598 255 171 72 12
481 Larry, I think we should take a little break from the foreplay. 1.3760 0.03776 258 178 63 17
482 But nooo, you just HAD to try them on 1.3755 0.03743 253 173 65 15
483 They're decorative oven mitts, Paul, not winter gloves. 1.3755 0.03826 253 175 61 17
484 Nice try, but nobody thinks those things mean you have a big penis. 1.3745 0.03928 251 176 56 19
485 How dare your mother ask me to convert. 1.3745 0.03804 251 173 62 16
486 Stop being so shellfish. 1.3745 0.04008 251 178 52 21
487 They say "bottom dweller" a lot more than they say "cutting edge." 1.3745 0.03928 251 176 56 19
488 Claude you look ridiculous. I told you yesterday you can’t wear white after Labor Day. 1.3745 0.03928 251 176 56 19
489 Now I know why your dating profile said former marine. 1.3745 0.03968 251 177 54 20
490 "I was not trying to butter you up!" 1.3745 0.03846 251 174 60 17
491 And you're the one calling me crabby!?!? 1.3745 0.04008 251 178 52 21
492 Jeff we talked about this. You have to wear the full suit or you just look dumb 1.3745 0.03719 251 171 66 14
493 Couldn't you have at least worn socks? 1.3745 0.03968 251 177 54 20
494 She had no business asking about your tail! 1.3745 0.03968 251 177 54 20
495 You could always just stop biting your nails. 1.3745 0.03928 251 176 56 19
496 Well you know what? My hands are cold too, so just grow up. 1.3745 0.03928 251 176 56 19
497 I think it's time to return Kafka to the library. 1.3745 0.03968 251 177 54 20
498 We're stuck in this, for butter or worse. 1.3735 0.04109 249 179 47 23
499 'I'll get the glassware down' he says... 1.3735 0.03989 249 176 53 20
500 That's the third bra you've ruined this week. 1.3725 0.03800 247 170 62 15
501 I still don't understand why you refuse to wear socks. 1.3725 0.03969 247 174 54 19
502 Can’t you just get a tattoo like the rest of the guys? 1.3714 0.03948 245 172 55 18
503 I bring up my ex once, and the claws come out... 1.3714 0.04032 245 174 51 20
504 I can’t believe you’re wearing those shorts to meet my parents. 1.3714 0.03775 245 168 63 14
505 Sorry Bert, this isn't working out. I am tired of being referred to as Mrs. Claws. 1.3710 0.03915 248 174 56 18
506 How many wishes do you have left? 1.3699 0.03977 246 174 53 19
507 You had to open every jar in the store, didn't you? 1.3695 0.04221 249 183 40 26
508 Sometimes you can be so shellfish. 1.3693 0.04034 241 171 51 19
509 Need I remind you–last time we held hands I ended up in the ER. 1.3689 0.04164 244 177 44 23
510 I fought the claw, and the claw won. 1.3686 0.03959 236 165 55 16
511 You aren't wearing the wedding ring again. 1.3682 0.03924 239 167 56 16
512 That’s the last time I’m helping you with your zipper! 1.3673 0.03943 245 173 54 18
513 Do we have to visit Maine for every vacation? 1.3673 0.03814 245 170 60 15
514 That’s still no reason not to shake my father’s hand. 1.3673 0.03769 245 169 62 14
515 Acceptance can only go so far, I refuse to wear a bib in bed. 1.3673 0.03900 245 172 56 17
516 I’m the one who’s always crabby? 1.3673 0.03857 245 171 58 16
517 The Seafood Festival was 3 days ago, Jake. Time to move on. 1.3673 0.03857 245 171 58 16
518 When you described yourself as a lobsterman, I expected a salty hunk from Maine. 1.3673 0.04068 245 176 48 21
519 When I said 'pinch me,' I didn't mean it literally. 1.3673 0.03857 245 171 58 16
520 I can’t decide if I am more mortified as a vegan or a fashionista. 1.3671 0.04035 237 168 51 18
521 Maybe I'm just tired of being referred to as Mrs. Claws. 1.3671 0.03463 237 156 75 6
522 Yeah Roger, nipples *are* pretty sensitive. Just don"t let it happen again. 1.3671 0.03807 237 165 58 14
523 I mean, you don't see me wearing my California Roll hat when we go out for sushi. 1.3669 0.03825 248 173 59 16
524 When your dating profile indicated ‘lobsterman,’ I thought you meant your profession! 1.3669 0.03694 248 170 65 13
525 My mother always has to bring up her allergy to shellfish when we visit. 1.3667 0.03955 240 169 54 17
526 The invitation specifically said "No Shorts"! 1.3667 0.03911 240 168 56 16
527 Why I ever considered dating a bottom feeder, I'll never know. 1.3663 0.04007 243 173 51 19
528 Hands down, the profile pic is always misleading. 1.3660 0.04012 235 166 52 17
529 And don't try and deny it. I saw you pinch that waitress" 1.3659 0.03622 246 167 68 11
530 It would just be nice to have help putting on my necklace. 1.3659 0.03972 246 175 52 19
531 Sure, everyone says they're willing to claw their way to the top, but can you stand the heat? 1.3659 0.04054 246 177 48 21
532 I’m just saying it would be nice to order the lobster just once without you judging me. 1.3655 0.04065 238 170 49 19
533 They may be warm but they LOOK ridiculous. 1.3648 0.03942 233 163 55 15
534 I'm an independent woman, Larry, I'm not trying to trap you. 1.3648 0.04035 233 165 51 17
535 If you didn't want to hold my hand you could've just said so." 1.3636 0.03718 231 157 64 10
536 Seriously? You had one wish. And this is what you came up with?! 1.3636 0.04194 231 167 44 20
537 You're OK. It's the handsy guys I can't stand. 1.3636 0.04057 231 164 50 17
538 You call ME crabby?!?!? 1.3636 0.04103 231 165 48 18
539 When I told you I like lobster this is not what I meant! 1.3636 0.03867 231 160 58 13
540 I just don't understand why you have to be so shellfish. 1.3636 0.04010 231 163 52 16
541 I told you I prefer the tail! 1.3629 0.03753 237 163 62 12
542 It's not you, it's me. I don't like holding hands. 1.3629 0.03894 237 166 56 15
543 NO, to every intimate thought you might be having. 1.3624 0.03985 229 161 53 15
544 I'm NOT helping you with zippers. 1.3624 0.03737 229 156 63 10
545 You looked different in the tank" 1.3624 0.04127 229 164 47 18
546 So tell me again how you're going to claw your way to the top. 1.3624 0.04080 229 163 49 17
547 All you ever talk about is clawing your way to the top. 1.3624 0.04033 229 162 51 16
548 Frankly, I prefer to be tickled. 1.3624 0.04033 229 162 51 16
549 Well, I think she was out of line for saying they looked delicious. 1.3624 0.04219 229 166 43 20
550 You know, sometimes you're so shellfish. 1.3624 0.04173 229 165 45 19
551 So what else can you do besides open jars? 1.3624 0.03838 229 158 59 12
552 You've changed. 1.3612 0.03909 227 158 56 13
553 There's something fishy about your mother's past. 1.3612 0.03958 227 159 54 14
554 That joke about being a gynecologist stopped being funny a long time ago. 1.3612 0.04151 227 163 46 18
555 I just don’t like how other women look at you like they want to dip you in melted butter. 1.3612 0.04197 227 164 44 19
556 Do you need to tell EVERYONE your first name is Santa? 1.3612 0.04151 227 163 46 18
557 Don't you dare pinch my ass! 1.3609 0.03699 230 164 52 14
558 Sorry, but it's not what I meant when I said I was looking for a catch. 1.3609 0.03971 230 162 53 15
559 Oh, I guess I'M the crabby one?! 1.3600 0.03980 225 158 53 14
560 So... You think You're on a roll, Eh ? 1.3600 0.03980 225 158 53 14
561 Well, there was no reason to snap at me! 1.3600 0.04175 225 162 45 18
562 So you think you can just claw your way back into my life.” 1.3600 0.03930 225 162 47 16
563 You’ll do in a pinch. 1.3600 0.03669 225 152 65 8
564 Sometimes it’s like you’ve been living under a rock. 1.3600 0.04175 225 162 45 18
565 Yeah, I'm upset. You were caught red handed! 1.3600 0.04030 225 159 51 15
566 I am from Maine, why do you ask? 1.3600 0.04030 225 159 51 15
567 I am positive I said "claw foot". And I was talking about a bath tub. 1.3600 0.04315 225 165 39 21
568 Maybe next time you'll listen to me and read the FULL list of side effects. 1.3600 0.04079 225 160 49 16
569 You had ONE wish!!! Only ONE!!! And all you could think of was FOOD????!!!! 1.3600 0.03980 225 158 53 14
570 Didn't I tell you I keep kosher? 1.3600 0.04030 225 159 51 15
571 Now I'M steaming. 1.3591 0.03719 220 149 63 8
572 I'd love to see the lobster that got your hands! 1.3587 0.04341 223 164 38 21
573 It's not you, it's me. I don't date Genetically Modified Organisms 1.3587 0.04077 223 161 45 17
574 'Don't be silly,' you said, 'genetically modified food is perfectly safe.' 1.3587 0.03768 223 160 49 14
575 You embarrass me so much every time we go out Todd...Cargo shorts? Really? 1.3587 0.04151 223 160 46 17
576 I guess you are what you eat. 1.3587 0.03900 223 155 56 12
577 Anything else huge and pink? 1.3587 0.04199 223 161 44 18
578 I told you to take Benadryl before we ordered. 1.3587 0.04127 223 162 43 18
579 Why must you put those on every time we visit my parents? 1.3587 0.03952 223 156 54 13
580 What happened to the man who treated me with kid gloves? 1.3587 0.04002 223 157 52 14
581 Not quite what I was expecting when your dating profile said "a part of me yearns for the open sea." 1.3587 0.04102 223 159 48 16
582 We are not naming our son Thermador. 1.3587 0.04102 223 159 48 16
583 Hopefully, this will keep you from picking you nose!" 1.3587 0.04247 223 162 42 19
584 Well who else could have given me crabs? 1.3587 0.04294 223 163 40 20
585 Just because they serve seafood doesn't mean it's someone you knew. 1.3587 0.04102 223 159 48 16
586 If they keep setting your bail at the market price per pound, I’m not going to pay it again. 1.3587 0.04052 223 158 50 15
587 It's just...I think you should have mentioned it in your profile... 1.3587 0.04247 223 162 42 19
588 Why do you always think that I trapped you? 1.3587 0.03952 223 156 54 13
589 Red-handed means different things to different people 1.3587 0.04002 223 157 52 14
590 Why don't you ever return my texts? 1.3587 0.03768 223 160 49 14
591 So you're trans crustacean? 1.3587 0.04247 223 162 42 19
592 Because I'm allergic to shellfish, that's why. 1.3587 0.03952 223 156 54 13
593 I am not holding your claw till you put the rubber band back on. 1.3587 0.04247 223 162 42 19
594 I told you not to eat that gas station sushi 1.3585 0.04249 212 152 44 16
595 If you touch me again I'll suck out your hand. 1.3575 0.04273 221 161 41 19
596 No, I never ever said I thought Edward Scissorhands was cute. 1.3575 0.03973 221 155 53 13
597 Mention my sister again and you'll be in hot water. 1.3575 0.04076 221 157 49 15
598 At least you're more of a gentleman than my last boyfriend... he was a real octopus. 1.3575 0.04126 221 158 47 16
599 It’s taken a while, but you’re finally coming out of your shell! 1.3571 0.03886 224 156 56 12
600 We never go out any more. I feel like you’re turning into a hermit. 1.3571 0.03834 224 155 58 11
601 Well, the frog just needed a KISS! 1.3571 0.04371 224 166 36 22
602 Charlie the Tuna says you take the dive in the third round - got it? 1.3571 0.03886 224 156 56 12
603 No sex until you molt. 1.3565 0.04086 216 153 49 14
604 It's over. I've had enough of your shellfishness. 1.3562 0.03943 219 153 54 12
605 Not even to first base, buddy! 1.3562 0.03996 219 154 52 13
606 So don't order the bisque. You didn't have to make such a scene. 1.3562 0.03943 219 153 54 12
607 I can't stand it! Everyone just assumes we're from Maine" 1.3562 0.04048 219 155 50 14
608 Pinch me one more time and the rubber bands are going back on. 1.3562 0.04048 219 155 50 14
609 I can't believe we're going to Le Bernardin, and you're wearing shorts. 1.3559 0.04060 222 158 49 15
610 I just don't like you as much since you've come out of your shell! 1.3548 0.04123 217 155 47 15
611 I was worried when the doctor said there may be side effects, but I feel fine. How about you? 1.3548 0.03911 217 151 55 11
612 No! I won't help you 'pee'. 1.3548 0.04275 217 158 41 18
613 Well I don't know what kind of job you think you're going to get now but you're finished as a masseuse 1.3548 0.04374 217 160 37 20
614 My profile clearly states I have a shellfish allergy. 1.3548 0.04018 217 153 51 13
615 Before we go any further, you need to know I was raised orthodox. 1.3548 0.03965 217 152 53 12
616 If you pinch me... you’ll be in such hot water! 1.3548 0.04225 217 157 43 17
617 No, you’re snappy... 1.3548 0.04123 217 155 47 15
618 Yeah, I know my Tinder profile says likes seafood, but really? 1.3548 0.03965 217 152 53 12
619 Your profile didn't mention that you're Republican. 1.3548 0.04225 217 157 43 17
620 So, why the slow boil? 1.3545 0.04233 220 160 42 18
621 You're an adult, I shouldn't have to tie your shoes. 1.3535 0.03704 215 146 62 7
622 I keep kosher. 1.3535 0.04251 215 156 42 17
623 How do you even swipe right with those? 1.3535 0.04094 215 153 48 14
624 I support your transition Tom, but you have to at least compromise about the garlic butter. 1.3535 0.04147 215 157 42 16
625 I can't believe you are wearing white after Labor Day 1.3535 0.04094 215 153 48 14
626 I can't believe you regrew them. 1.3535 0.04041 215 152 50 13
627 I need you to know that I'm not kosher. 1.3535 0.04199 215 155 44 16
628 When you said you came from a long line of lobstermen, I didn't think you meant genetically. 1.3535 0.04199 215 155 44 16
629 So we’re agreed - we’ll skip right past foreplay. 1.3535 0.03960 215 153 49 13
630 That was your last wish Todd! What happened to world peace? 1.3535 0.04041 215 152 50 13
631 Shorts? You're wearing shorts on a first date while I'm wearing a dress? 1.3532 0.04107 218 156 47 15
632 You are not going to claw your way to the top in shorts. 1.3532 0.04055 218 155 49 14
633 Well, your profile picture wasn’t a full body shot, either. 1.3532 0.04209 218 158 43 17
634 Any excuse not to hold hands in public!" 1.3521 0.03926 213 151 50 12
635 I was expecting this night to go a little differently when you said you had big hands. 1.3521 0.04145 213 155 42 16
636 Sometimes I need to be buttered up, too. 1.3521 0.04064 213 151 49 13
637 Dave, once again, please don't click-clack your claws along with the music. It's SO embarrassing. The whole restaurant was looking at us! 1.3521 0.04118 213 152 47 14
638 We just started dating, you should be wearing a rubber band. 1.3521 0.04118 213 152 47 14
639 When did you become so shellfish? 1.3521 0.04172 213 153 45 15
640 I told you we shouldn’t have spent the summer in Maine. 1.3521 0.04118 213 152 47 14
641 Of all the superhero's you could have chosen and you pick Lobster Man? 1.3521 0.04064 213 151 49 13
642 Button your own shorts from now on! 1.3521 0.03897 213 148 55 10
643 Well, well, Mr. Wandering Hands! That will teach you to goose a witch! 1.3521 0.04479 213 159 33 21
644 And stop referring to me as “my little buttercup” 1.3521 0.04379 213 157 37 19
645 If you didn't like holding hands, you could have just said so. 1.3521 0.04009 213 150 51 12
646 I swear to God, if you quote T.S. Eliot one more time... 1.3521 0.04225 213 154 43 16
647 I don't care...you're still going to wear a wedding band! 1.3521 0.03954 213 149 53 11
648 We finally meet a genie, and you have to start quoting T.S. Eliot! 1.3521 0.04064 213 151 49 13
649 No Bob,I don't know how to "dress up as butter." 1.3521 0.03897 213 148 55 10
650 Do your new gloves pinch? 1.3521 0.04009 213 150 51 12
651 I'm told you must be at least 3 1/4 inches to keep, and can’t be over 5 inches. 1.3521 0.04277 213 155 41 17
652 You know damn well my parents are strictly kosher... 1.3521 0.04118 213 152 47 14
653 Definitely not tonight! 1.3521 0.03897 213 148 55 10
654 Let me be clear, foreplay is not an option. 1.3521 0.04277 213 155 41 17
655 Frankly, I'm shell shocked. 1.3521 0.03982 213 157 40 16
656 Hands down, you are the most shellfish person I know! 1.3521 0.04379 213 157 37 19
657 This wasn't exactly the infidelity claws I was thinking of. 1.3521 0.03954 213 149 53 11
658 I knew you didn’t want to shake hands with my ex, but this is ridiculous! 1.3519 0.04183 216 156 44 16
659 So.....Who got the tail? 1.3519 0.03917 216 151 54 11
660 Remember to stay out of the hot tub. 1.3519 0.04234 216 157 42 17
661 You’re so bisque averse. 1.3507 0.04250 211 153 42 16
662 Must you make a scene every time you see a distant cousin on the menu? 1.3507 0.04088 211 150 48 13
663 You want a what job? 1.3507 0.04303 211 154 40 17
664 I bet you’d love to get your claws into her. 1.3507 0.04032 211 149 50 12
665 I don't care what you say, Raymond. We're not going to Maine this year. 1.3507 0.04088 211 150 48 13
666 I know I said I would be supportive of your transformation, but I’m not going to call you “Claw-dia”. 1.3507 0.04250 211 153 42 16
667 Don't even think about it. 1.3507 0.03948 211 150 49 12
668 Really, Jeremy, you at least could have shaved and wore pants; this dinner is important to me! 1.3507 0.04355 211 155 38 18
669 Every time you hold me I feel I need to smash you with a hammer. 1.3507 0.04250 211 153 42 16
670 Well, at least it’s not crabs. 1.3507 0.04060 211 152 45 14
671 It’s like you are always trying to embarrase me in front of my friends. I’ve told you before, those shorts look bad on you. 1.3507 0.03861 211 146 56 9
672 Touch me again and you'll be up to your wrists in butter. 1.3507 0.04197 211 152 44 15
673 kEEP YOUR CLAWS OFF ME, HEAR?! 1.3507 0.03861 211 155 40 15
674 Did you have to embarrass me by wearing shorts? 1.3507 0.04143 211 151 46 14
675 You’re becoming so shellfish” 1.3505 0.04102 214 153 47 14
676 Technically, you didn't catch me red-handed. 1.3502 0.04167 217 157 44 16
677 I told you they'd grow back 1.3493 0.03998 209 147 51 11
678 Which part of “get your claws off me” didn’t you understand? 1.3493 0.04167 209 150 45 14
679 You just don't seem very evolved. 1.3493 0.04222 209 151 43 15
680 That's not what I meant when I told you to get a grip. 1.3493 0.04056 209 148 49 12
681 For once, I would like to vacation somewhere other than Maine. 1.3493 0.04112 209 149 47 13
682 . . . and no more clicking along with the castanets! 1.3493 0.04167 209 150 45 14
683 You have a real shellfish streak, Rob." 1.3493 0.04112 209 149 47 13
684 Look Crabclaws, I dated Edward Scissorhands, and you’re NO EDWARD SCISSORHANDS! 1.3491 0.04127 212 152 46 14
685 Oh, and another thing ..."lobster-man" is the dumbest idea for a superhero I have ever heard 1.3480 0.03940 204 142 53 9
686 And you get all upset when I spend a lousy forty bucks to have my nails done. 1.3480 0.04120 204 145 47 12
687 I have asked you repeatedly to stop snapping at me. 1.3480 0.04120 204 145 47 12
688 When they said "independent clause," didn't you ask them to spell it? 1.3480 0.04178 204 146 45 13
689 All that money for dental school down the drain. 1.3478 0.04193 207 149 44 14
690 Of all the radioactive creatures to have been bitten by... 1.3478 0.04136 207 148 46 13
691 I thought you said you got tested for crabs 1.3478 0.04303 207 151 40 16
692 No one claps that loud at an Aquaman movie. 1.3478 0.04303 207 151 40 16
693 And what about all that money we wasted on piano lessons... 1.3478 0.04357 207 152 38 17
694 Gosh Barry, sometimes you can really be a shellfish jerk. 1.3463 0.04218 205 148 43 14
695 You will do Anything to avoid foreplay, won’t you??! 1.3463 0.04161 205 147 45 13
696 I'm sorry, but who wears long sleeves and shorts? 1.3462 0.04286 208 152 40 16
697 ...and you think I’m crabby in the morning!? 1.3462 0.03888 208 145 54 9
698 So ”I'd love lobster claws” was your 3rd wish? 1.3452 0.04151 197 140 46 11
699 I’m reaching my boiling point 1.3450 0.04229 200 144 43 13
700 For the last time, I will not dip you in melted butter. 1.3448 0.04244 203 147 42 14
701 Well the meet-up profile said C-L-A-U-D-E. 1.3447 0.04312 206 151 39 16
702 Sandy Claws? Seriously? 1.3447 0.04087 206 147 47 12
703 No, Brian, they are not going to be the next big thing. 1.3447 0.04028 206 146 49 11
704 I am your wife, Brandon. And not even I have a clue what you're protesting. 1.3445 0.04159 209 151 44 14
705 Just my luck to fall for the guy who’s least likely to give good back rubs. 1.3433 0.04092 201 143 47 11
706 That's what you get for teasing the wizard about his small hands. 1.3433 0.03969 201 141 51 9
707 I preferred it when your hands were just clammy. 1.3433 0.03905 201 140 53 8
708 You’re too old to have to claw your way to the top. 1.3433 0.03969 201 141 51 9
709 You wasted your last wish on lobster claws? 1.3433 0.04442 201 149 35 17
710 If they were any color other than orange … 1.3433 0.04442 201 149 35 17
711 'You'll do in a pinch' is not what I was hoping to hear." 1.3433 0.04092 201 143 47 11
712 I just thought by now you would have come out of your shell. 1.3433 0.04212 201 145 43 13
713 And I'm sick of sending text after text with no response. 1.3417 0.04054 199 141 48 10
714 Tell me again! What was the bet? 1.3417 0.04116 199 142 46 11
715 Well, I'm boiling too. 1.3417 0.04414 199 147 36 16
716 I just want to hold hands in public. 1.3417 0.04297 199 145 40 14
717 For the last time, I'm not calling you "CrawDaddy". 1.3417 0.04238 199 144 42 13
718 Anything ELSE you want to tell me about your "business trip" to Vegas?! 1.3417 0.04054 199 141 48 10
719 I told you not to wear shorts to dinner 1.3417 0.04178 199 143 44 12
720 No need denying it. You were caught red handed! 1.3417 0.04238 199 144 42 13
721 No, no, second base is so not happening. 1.3417 0.04116 199 142 46 11
722 I warned you that wearing shorts without socks on such a chilly day would bring unwanted attention. 1.3417 0.04054 199 141 48 10
723 We don't need the whole costume, you said. Minimalism, you said. Suggestive irony, you said. And then Herb and Sheila win everything with a horse costume. 1.3417 0.04054 199 141 48 10
724 Sometimes a woman wants to open to her own walnuts. 1.3417 0.03862 199 138 54 7
725 So I assume seafood is out of the question? 1.3417 0.04054 199 141 48 10
726 I don't think I should have to quit eating lobster just because we're dating. 1.3417 0.04297 199 145 40 14
727 I'm getting tired of your excuses for not doing the dishes. 1.3417 0.04238 199 144 42 13
728 If you get the matching shoes, it's divorce 1.3417 0.04297 199 145 40 14
729 You were being a bit crabby back there. 1.3417 0.04356 199 146 38 15
730 No, butter will not make me like you any better. 1.3416 0.04045 202 146 44 12
731 Next time wear the whole thing. 1.3416 0.04310 202 148 39 15
732 My mother warned me about bottom-feeders like you. 1.3416 0.04310 202 148 39 15
733 That's no excuse for not picking up the check. 1.3416 0.04105 202 147 42 13
734 And you think I’m being crabby today? 1.3415 0.04321 205 151 38 16
735 I can't believe you forgot the rubber bands again! 1.3415 0.04152 205 148 44 13
736 Would it kill you to wear gloves? 1.3402 0.04054 194 137 48 9
737 You know, sometimes you can be so shellfish. 1.3401 0.04443 197 146 35 16
738 Let's find you a good pair of rubber bands." 1.3401 0.04264 197 143 41 13
739 How is this less embarrassing than a doggie bag? 1.3401 0.04141 197 141 45 11
740 I wished you take off that stupid human outfit. 1.3401 0.04264 197 143 41 13
741 Next time, spare me the foreplay. 1.3401 0.04670 197 150 27 20
742 You didn’t have to snap at me. 1.3401 0.04014 197 139 49 9
743 Why are you in such a crabby mood? 1.3401 0.04203 197 142 43 12
744 Your profile said you were a real catch. 1.3401 0.04203 197 142 43 12
745 I told you this would not get you a discount at Red Lobster. 1.3401 0.04264 197 143 41 13
746 So what was it like growing up in Maine? 1.3401 0.04264 197 143 41 13
747 Figure a new way to pee..I'm not your mother... 1.3401 0.04325 197 144 39 14
748 They're not the most stylish of gloves, but they'll do in a pinch. 1.3401 0.04141 197 141 45 11
749 Your mother really is a witch, isn't she? 1.3401 0.04078 197 140 47 10
750 You expect me to believe you weren't clawing that other woman? 1.3401 0.04325 197 144 39 14
751 Pinch me one more time and you’re going directly into the steamer. 1.3401 0.04203 197 142 43 12
752 We're putting the rubber bands back on. 1.3401 0.04443 197 146 35 16
753 Why does it always have to be about you? 1.3401 0.04325 197 144 39 14
754 So when Lois first accused you of pinching her, you said ‘that’s impossible.’ Now you’re saying it might have happened?? 1.3401 0.04203 197 142 43 12
755 So how, exactly, did you manage to swipe right? 1.3401 0.04325 197 144 39 14
756 You just keep your claws to yourself! 1.3401 0.04141 197 141 45 11
757 Okay, fine. Yes, you look like your profile picture but it was still misleading. 1.3401 0.04264 197 143 41 13
758 You didn’t need to butter up my mother like that. 1.3401 0.04203 197 142 43 12
759 We never get to go to my parents in Indiana...it's always back to your parents in Maine for Thanksgiving 1.3401 0.04264 197 143 41 13
760 No one wears crustacean anymore. 1.3401 0.04014 197 139 49 9
761 No! You're on your own in the Restroom! 1.3401 0.04014 197 139 49 9
762 I'm serious this time, John. If you pinch me one more time, the rubber bands are going back on! 1.3399 0.04059 203 145 47 11
763 Why'd I bother taking the rubber bands off if you still won't hold my hand? 1.3383 0.04202 201 146 42 13
764 Tie your own shoes for a change. 1.3371 0.04406 175 126 39 10
765 Good luck trying to piss, genius. 1.3371 0.04832 175 132 27 16
766 I can't order lobster, but you can order ladyfingers? 1.3369 0.04146 187 133 45 9
767 Because "old Gypsy woman" is ageist, ethnically insensitive, and misogynistic, that's why I'm taking her side. 1.3367 0.03751 196 145 40 11
768 You should have thought about that before you made your last wish 1.3367 0.04334 196 144 38 14
769 I’m sorry I snapped. 1.3351 0.04241 185 133 42 10
770 No, you may not touch my nipples. 1.3351 0.04471 191 142 34 15
771 I caught you red handed Bob, it's over 1.3351 0.04185 191 140 39 12
772 Well, my nightmare is getting married somewhere OTHER than New England. 1.3351 0.04017 191 135 48 8
773 It's not you, I'm just not into holding hands in public. 1.3351 0.04282 191 139 40 12
774 Why can't you be more like your brother Ed with those sexy scissor-hands? 1.3351 0.04346 191 140 38 13
775 As your attorney, I want you to understand that you misunderstood me when I said that we need to replace the clause. 1.3351 0.04533 191 143 32 16
776 No I don't want to hold your Hand! 1.3351 0.04218 191 138 42 11
777 On your tindr profile, you had rubber bands on. 1.3351 0.04409 191 141 36 14
778 Stop telling me to get a grip. 1.3351 0.04282 191 139 40 12
779 The claws are impressive. Its the accent I don't get. 1.3351 0.04218 191 138 42 11
780 OK. Cured your finger snapping. Now we’ll work on your gum popping. 1.3351 0.04282 191 139 40 12
781 I told you that I was wearing a dress and YOU decide to wear shorts. 1.3351 0.04282 191 139 40 12
782 There's more to life than just being good in a pinch. 1.3351 0.04533 191 143 32 16
783 No I won’t pick your nose. 1.3351 0.04085 191 136 46 9
784 Claus is spelled CLAUS. Next year, I will order the costumes. 1.3351 0.04282 191 139 40 12
785 I said the theme was “Mobsters”! 1.3351 0.04218 191 138 42 11
786 Tell the Kafka Institute we want our money back. 1.3351 0.04593 191 144 30 17
787 But I am trying to break out of my shell. 1.3351 0.04282 191 139 40 12
788 NOT in your eharmony profile. 1.3351 0.04346 191 140 38 13
789 You just keep getting yourself into hot water, Paul. 1.3351 0.04409 191 141 36 14
790 My suggestion, skip ballet lessons and try Flamenco. 1.3351 0.04346 191 140 38 13
791 You're claws weren't the issue ... it was your stupid shorts. 1.3351 0.04346 191 140 38 13
792 How many times have I told you. You are what you eat 1.3351 0.04346 191 140 38 13
793 Mister Big Shot. Kafka, you had to say, who reads Kafka any more? 1.3351 0.04533 191 143 32 16
794 What now, a high two? 1.3351 0.04152 191 137 44 10
795 How can you even try to deny pinching our hostess's butt, when you were caught red-handed? 1.3351 0.04218 191 138 42 11
796 No way dude...I mean, if you were Johnny Depp I'd think about it, maybe. 1.3351 0.04152 191 137 44 10
797 If you think this means you never have to do the dishes again, think again mister. 1.3351 0.04152 191 137 44 10
798 How were you able to swipe right in the first place? 1.3351 0.04017 191 135 48 8
799 I just wanted to talk and you come out with your claws on. 1.3351 0.04085 191 136 46 9
800 We have to get you more out of your shell. 1.3333 0.03970 189 133 49 7
801 I'm so tired of your excuses for making me pay. 1.3333 0.04357 186 136 38 12
802 No, not even if you bathe in butter. 1.3333 0.04222 186 134 42 10
803 I suppose if you have them removed, they'll just grow back... 1.3333 0.04222 186 134 42 10
804 That's the third buffet we were thrown out of. 1.3333 0.04211 189 139 38 12
805 It’s that they’re orange. Who in their right mind wants to look orange? 1.3333 0.04357 186 136 38 12
806 Don’t get snappy with me, Mister! 1.3333 0.04222 186 134 42 10
807 Larry couldn't wait to get his claws on Jill, especially after she buttered him up a little. 1.3333 0.04357 186 136 38 12
808 I just get tired of the "butter wouldn't melt in your mouth" joke... 1.3333 0.03466 186 139 38 9
809 The rubber bands go right back on the next time you pinch someone again." 1.3333 0.04222 186 134 42 10
810 Try groping some woman now! 1.3333 0.04357 186 136 38 12
811 We’ve tried your specialists, now will you see a marine biologist ? 1.3333 0.04290 186 135 40 11
812 No, I will not wear a bib. 1.3333 0.04357 186 136 38 12
813 No honey, they weren’t wondering why you wore shorts. 1.3333 0.04152 186 133 44 9
814 So much for snap chat! 1.3333 0.04679 186 141 28 17
815 No, I'm steamed... 1.3333 0.04244 189 137 41 11
816 When you said in your profile you were really in to shellfish... you can imagine what I assumed. 1.3333 0.04010 186 131 48 7
817 I suppose you'll want your own pool now. 1.3333 0.04152 186 133 44 9
818 I told you that guy wasn’t a real dermatologist 1.3333 0.04489 186 138 34 14
819 You lost the key to the handcuffs, you couldn't untie the rope, and now this? 1.3333 0.04290 186 135 40 11
820 I'm not saying I would've swiped left, I just don't understand how you swiped right. 1.3333 0.04290 186 135 40 11
821 How was I supposed to know she really was a sorceress? 1.3333 0.04424 186 137 36 13
822 Don't you think you're being a little shellfish? 1.3333 0.04290 186 135 40 11
823 I’m not kink-shaming, I just don’t want to wear a bib. 1.3333 0.04010 186 131 48 7
824 For the last time Jason; the lobster mac and cheese was the special! She was not making fun of your claws! 1.3333 0.04553 186 139 32 15
825 Don't be silly, of course no one will notice. 1.3333 0.04424 186 137 36 13
826 No, Steve, you can’t just claw your way back into my life. 1.3333 0.04357 186 136 38 12
827 I don't care if it is a B52's concert, you aren't going dressed like that. 1.3333 0.04489 186 138 34 14
828 Well that's the last time we visit my parents without your rubber bands. 1.3333 0.04290 186 135 40 11
829 You knew we were meeting my parents for lunch, you couldn't have even put on pants? 1.3333 0.04357 186 136 38 12
830 That has got to be the most ironic Viagra side effect yet. 1.3333 0.04222 186 134 42 10
831 You look ridiculous in those shorts. 1.3333 0.04357 186 136 38 12
832 And now we are banned from pottery class too! 1.3333 0.04357 186 136 38 12
833 ... and how come everyone but you knows the Goldbergs keep kosher 1.3333 0.04489 186 138 34 14
834 I wish you wouldn't be so shellfish. 1.3333 0.04357 186 136 38 12
835 I love you, Roger, but the pinching has to stop. 1.3333 0.04489 186 138 34 14
836 For the last time I said that I loved Lobster tails. 1.3333 0.04290 186 135 40 11
837 I know your profile said you're from Maine but this was a surprise. 1.3333 0.04424 186 137 36 13
838 Walking shorts and a pullover, you call that dressing up? 1.3333 0.04152 186 133 44 9
839 Well dirty boy, when we get home what do you say I draw a nice hot bath for you. 1.3333 0.04290 186 135 40 11
840 Well I can tell you this Mister; the elastics are going back on! 1.3333 0.04357 186 136 38 12
841 I notice you never pick up the check 1.3333 0.03937 186 130 50 6
842 Yeah, I'm the one who's always crabby. 1.3333 0.04679 186 141 28 17
843 I told you not to trust any surgeon for your carpal tunnel syndrome! 1.3333 0.04082 186 132 46 8
844 They were on sale?? That's all you have to say? 1.3333 0.04222 186 134 42 10
845 Look, it's not you. It's me and my allergies. 1.3316 0.04134 187 134 44 9
846 Take them off. That's only cool in Boston. 1.3315 0.04106 184 131 45 8
847 I'm sure this is another excuse for not touching me 1.3315 0.04386 184 135 37 12
848 You really don’t understand why we can’t go to third base??? 1.3315 0.04453 184 136 35 13
849 It not the claws that bother me. It’s all the mercury. 1.3315 0.04178 184 132 43 9
850 The kids are expecting Santa Claus, not Lobster Claws, you boob! 1.3315 0.04386 184 135 37 12
851 Sorry! Still no excuse for leaving the toilet seat up. 1.3315 0.04249 184 133 41 10
852 ...and don't start sidestepping! 1.3315 0.04142 184 134 40 10
853 It is not going to help us get a table. 1.3315 0.04106 184 131 45 8
854 You and your allergies. 1.3315 0.04249 184 133 41 10
855 Of course they are sore... 1.3314 0.04318 175 126 40 9
856 Porn Addiction Recovery 1.3314 0.04541 175 129 34 12
857 Sure, I was interested—when I thought you said ‘part mobster.’ 1.3314 0.04468 175 128 36 11
858 Why would you think I'm just trying to butter you up? 1.3314 0.04393 175 127 38 10
859 Maine men are the worst; you'll latch on to anyone. 1.3314 0.04468 175 128 36 11
860 You shellfish bastard. 1.3314 0.04393 175 127 38 10
861 There's no such thing as Lobsterman. 1.3314 0.04318 175 126 40 9
862 Beautiful wife, enormous mansion...why did you waste your third wish on lobster hands? 1.3314 0.04163 175 124 44 7
863 That's it. I'm done online dating. 1.3314 0.04393 175 127 38 10
864 And you still haven’t clawed your way to the top? 1.3314 0.04318 175 126 40 9
865 So sleep with the fishes, not me. 1.3314 0.04468 175 128 36 11
866 I just wish you'd stop molting. 1.3314 0.03659 175 128 40 7
867 I just don't see "Lobster-Man" as a viable superhero. 1.3314 0.03961 175 124 45 6
868 I thought you said, "Claud." 1.3314 0.04753 175 132 28 15
869 You’re shellfish. 1.3314 0.04612 175 130 32 13
870 Don’t you dare try to butter me up 1.3314 0.04683 175 131 30 14
871 You never want to hold hands 1.3314 0.04393 175 127 38 10
872 This is why I don't take you nice places. 1.3314 0.04393 175 127 38 10
873 I don't like having them pinched! 1.3314 0.04541 175 129 34 12
874 Well that was un-clawed for. 1.3314 0.04612 175 130 32 13
875 You’re just too shellfish, Brad. 1.3314 0.04541 175 129 34 12
876 And don't come crawling back. 1.3314 0.04318 175 126 40 9
877 Those shorts make you look like a dork. 1.3297 0.04204 182 131 42 9
878 I want "pinchy-pinchy-pinchy" out of your vocabulary. 1.3297 0.04346 182 133 38 11
879 You would think that you could pick up a check once in awhile. 1.3297 0.04168 182 133 39 10
880 Let's see if you can control yourself without the rubber bands. 1.3297 0.04131 182 130 44 8
881 You're just shellfish! 1.3297 0.04240 182 134 37 11
882 What I just did for you in that restroom will haunt me forever. 1.3297 0.04551 182 136 32 14
883 Seems like a pretty lame excuse to not cuddle. 1.3297 0.04131 182 130 44 8
884 You could have asked for the tail. 1.3297 0.04204 182 131 42 9
885 It's not going to be much of a relationship if I have to tie your shoes every time. 1.3297 0.04204 182 131 42 9
886 All I'm saying is that I think you should have mentioned that you used to work in Fukushima in your profile. 1.3297 0.04276 182 132 40 10
887 How can I expect you to be "more hands-on" when you're so shellfish. 1.3297 0.04551 182 136 32 14
888 Pinch me one more time and I’ll have those claws wired shut! 1.3297 0.04276 182 132 40 10
889 It's obvious you didn't catch it from me. 1.3297 0.04346 182 133 38 11
890 I just feel like you’re constantly snapping at me. 1.3297 0.04276 182 132 40 10
891 So, you're transitioning into a crustacean? 1.3297 0.04346 182 133 38 11
892 I get it John, you want to move back to Maine 1.3297 0.04204 182 131 42 9
893 Don’t pretend you’ve never heard it before: You’re a shellfish lover. 1.3297 0.04276 182 132 40 10
894 I keep texting you and texting you. No reply. Don’t tell me you never got them! 1.3297 0.04484 182 135 34 13
895 He has to stop referring to me as his “Maine squeeze”. 1.3297 0.04019 182 131 43 8
896 Your shoplifting days are over. 1.3297 0.04131 182 130 44 8
897 If I ever get another chance, I'm gonna kiss an enchanted frog! 1.3297 0.04204 182 131 42 9
898 I told you my Mom is allergic to shellfish, but you just had to hug her. 1.3297 0.03981 182 128 48 6
899 I don’t care if everyone in your family, genus, AND phylum mates for life; I want a divorce! 1.3297 0.04346 182 133 38 11
900 I said keep your claws off of me. 1.3297 0.04276 182 132 40 10
901 I wanted pizza, but, no, you had to try the new seafood place doing molecular gastronomy. 1.3297 0.04551 182 136 32 14
902 I'm boiling mad! 1.3297 0.04551 182 136 32 14
903 Now I see why you chose a headshot for your Tinder profile 1.3297 0.04484 182 135 34 13
904 You can't just claw your way to the top. 1.3297 0.04204 182 131 42 9
905 ``We should have left as soon as they brought out the bibs and butter sauce.'' 1.3297 0.03943 182 130 45 7
906 I could replace you with a nutcracker. 1.3297 0.04484 182 135 34 13
907 Look on the bright side, at least you can crack walnuts. 1.3297 0.04346 182 133 38 11
908 You are just a shell of the man you used to be. 1.3297 0.04415 182 134 36 12
909 Are you sure you won’t see The Nutcracker with me? 1.3297 0.04415 182 134 36 12
910 We can’t compromise on this, the claws are just as bad as the whole suit. 1.3297 0.04415 182 134 36 12
911 Are you sure the dinner invitation said to just bring yourself and a big pot? 1.3297 0.04617 182 137 30 15
912 Hearing ‘he looks half-mobster and may be a bit selfish’ raised red flags, but I should've paid closer attention. 1.3278 0.04375 180 132 37 11
913 So what, we’ll just never go bowling? 1.3278 0.04445 180 133 35 12
914 You know, what was funny in college is less so now that you're Secretary of Defense. 1.3278 0.04445 180 133 35 12
915 How can you be so shellfish? 1.3278 0.04445 180 133 35 12
916 I can only imagine what Seinfeld would do with this. 1.3278 0.04445 180 133 35 12
917 When your profile said you'd clawed your way up I didn't think you were being so literal. 1.3272 0.04578 162 121 30 11
918 Thats the last time you're going to embarrass me with that 'she's already tried the lobster' joke. 1.3260 0.04354 181 133 37 11
919 Must you insist on salt water at every restaurant? 1.3260 0.04211 181 131 41 9
920 Frankly, I'd prefer you bit your nails. 1.3260 0.04137 181 130 43 8
921 Every time I criticize you, you snap back. 1.3260 0.04211 181 131 41 9
922 Pinch me in public again and I'll boil you. 1.3260 0.04561 181 136 31 14
923 Halloween is not one of the High Holidays, Steve. And shellfish?! 1.3260 0.04493 181 135 33 13
924 I never should have taken off the rubber bands. 1.3260 0.04319 181 135 34 12
925 I know you're self-conscious, but for the last time you do not need a nose job! 1.3260 0.04100 181 132 40 9
926 They warned you the plate was hot. 1.3260 0.04211 181 131 41 9
927 I completely misunderstood the ‘clause’ in the pre-nup.” 1.3260 0.04354 181 133 37 11
928 What I need most is you treat me with a pair of kid gloves. 1.3260 0.04424 181 134 35 12
929 Look - Crocs were ugly but practical. Your invention... not so much. 1.3260 0.04493 181 135 33 13
930 Marry someone with soft hands," Mom said. But,would I listen 1.3260 0.04137 181 130 43 8
931 I thought you were being metaphorical in your dating profile, when you said you clawed your way to the top. 1.3260 0.04137 181 130 43 8
932 You're not touching me without wearing your rubber bands! 1.3260 0.03947 181 130 44 7
933 I like visiting your mom - but your dad's such a crab... 1.3260 0.04493 181 135 33 13
934 I should have left you in the tank 1.3260 0.04424 181 134 35 12
935 You're not getting those things anywhere near my clam! 1.3260 0.04628 181 137 29 15
936 I can't believe you said I trapped you. 1.3260 0.04354 181 133 37 11
937 I GET it! You're from Maine. 1.3260 0.04354 181 133 37 11
938 I say one little thing, and your claws come out! 1.3260 0.04493 181 135 33 13
939 So your third wish was to have giant lobster claws? 1.3260 0.04354 181 133 37 11
940 Couldn't you tell she was just buttering you up? 1.3260 0.04211 181 131 41 9
941 IF we ever try that again, wear your octopus hands! 1.3260 0.04628 181 137 29 15
942 I know they mean a lot to you, I just wish you didn't have to always wear them every time we go out. 1.3260 0.04024 181 131 42 8
943 I know I said I wanted someone of mixed parentage. 1.3260 0.04100 181 132 40 9
944 I should have married Eddie Scissorhands. 1.3260 0.04561 181 136 31 14
945 Don't worry my Dermatologist has seen everything" 1.3260 0.04628 181 137 29 15
946 And after the Hell you gave me for cutting my hair short. 1.3260 0.04283 181 132 39 10
947 Look, they caught you red-handed, so as your counsel I say we accept the plea offer. 1.3260 0.04283 181 132 39 10
948 ‘Good in a pinch’ isn’t good enough. 1.3260 0.04493 181 135 33 13
949 Now both of us are crabby. 1.3260 0.04283 181 132 39 10
950 Don't lie to me. I caught you . . . well, you know. 1.3260 0.04424 181 134 35 12
951 What do you mean, ‘playful pinching’ is in your DNA? 1.3260 0.04137 181 130 43 8
952 Over time her crabbiness really began to grow on him. 1.3260 0.04283 181 132 39 10
953 Really? You didn't think "I have lobster claws for hands" was worth mentioning in your Tinder bio? 1.3260 0.04354 181 133 37 11
954 My ex was hung like a horse. 1.3258 0.04475 178 132 34 12
955 Becky's text said "mobster." "Ooh! Exciting!" I thought. 1.3258 0.04404 178 131 36 11
956 Touch me and you will be baked and stuffed in no time. 1.3258 0.04331 178 130 38 10
957 And don't think I didn't notice you eyeing that woman with the large dorsal fin. 1.3258 0.04475 178 132 34 12
958 0h come on now, your name can’t really be Claude. 1.3258 0.04331 178 130 38 10
959 Stop complaining, Harold, they're a valid stipulation of the restraining order. 1.3258 0.04404 178 131 36 11
960 Caught you red handed! 1.3258 0.04404 178 131 36 11
961 You grow a tail and we’re through. 1.3258 0.04404 178 131 36 11
962 I said get dressed for dinner not dress "as" dinner Harold. 1.3258 0.04404 178 131 36 11
963 I swear, Ted, I thought you were mature enough to go out without your rubber bands. 1.3258 0.04404 178 131 36 11
964 Would it kill you to dress up before meeting my parents? 1.3258 0.04475 178 132 34 12
965 For the millionth time, you're my Maine man! 1.3258 0.04404 178 131 36 11
966 Jazz hands were fine! I should never have said a word. 1.3258 0.04182 178 128 42 8
967 Quit asking me what I'd do in a pinch! 1.3258 0.04105 178 127 44 7
968 One more time,. and it's the rubber bands! 1.3258 0.04475 178 132 34 12
969 When I say "Keep your hands off me!" don't ask why. 1.3258 0.04404 178 131 36 11
970 Your little stunt just got us permanently banned from all Red Lobsters. 1.3258 0.04331 178 130 38 10
971 You could at least try reaching for the bill. 1.3258 0.04144 178 130 39 9
972 You should have known the party required tails. 1.3258 0.04404 178 131 36 11
973 Now who's being crabby? 1.3258 0.04404 178 131 36 11
974 You’re telling me you read ALL the possible side effects before you take your medicine? 1.3258 0.04546 178 133 32 13
975 If you don't want to hold my hand, you can just say so. 1.3258 0.04105 178 127 44 7
976 This isn't working. I don't care how much of a "catch" you are! 1.3258 0.04404 178 131 36 11
977 I don't care if we get free butter at the bodega, take them off. 1.3258 0.04475 178 132 34 12
978 Why didn't you TELL me you had a shellfish allergy? 1.3258 0.04404 178 131 36 11
979 Well you told me to wear something snappy... 1.3258 0.04257 178 129 40 9
980 Mother warned me you would never change. 1.3258 0.04257 178 129 40 9
981 I can’t believe you wore shorts to the party! Didn’t you notice everyone staring? 1.3258 0.04475 178 132 34 12
982 Admit it, Steve - I caught you redhanded. 1.3258 0.04475 178 132 34 12
983 We need to think of something that will make you stand out ... something that can make you seem unique on these college applications 1.3258 0.04546 178 133 32 13
984 You didn’t need to snap at my mother. 1.3258 0.04331 178 130 38 10
985 I suppose it’s an improvement, Edward. 1.3258 0.04546 178 133 32 13
986 Mrs. Newberg is not amused. 1.3258 0.04182 178 128 42 8
987 I just don't see why your mom had to snap at me like that. 1.3258 0.03825 178 131 39 8
988 Can we walk sideways for once?? 1.3258 0.04546 178 133 32 13
989 Most people only have to get their cat declawed. 1.3258 0.04404 178 131 36 11
990 I thought you said you got a job AT Red Lobster, not a job AS a red lobster. 1.3258 0.04546 178 133 32 13
991 I keep telling you, “Never wash your hands with hot water,” but do you listen? 1.3258 0.04615 178 134 30 14
992 I thought your dating profile said selfish, not shellfish” 1.3258 0.04546 178 133 32 13
993 Even if you were hungry, you shouldn’t have told the genie “I want lobster claws!” 1.3257 0.04671 175 132 29 14
994 So this is how you plan to claw your way to the top? 1.3257 0.04305 175 127 39 9
995 The last guy I dated was such an octopus. 1.3257 0.04228 175 126 41 8
996 If you want me to be responsible for my own orgasms, just say so. 1.3257 0.04381 175 128 37 10
997 I'm NOT buttering you up! 1.3257 0.04671 175 132 29 14
998 No I'm not being crabby, you're being crabby! 1.3257 0.04809 175 134 25 16
999 I didn't know he was your cousin." 1.3257 0.04305 175 127 39 9
1000 We should've never bought the generic fish oil pills. 1.3257 0.04600 175 131 31 13
1001 Day one of the worst honeymoon ever. 1.3257 0.04381 175 128 37 10
1002 My profile specified strictly kosher. 1.3257 0.04600 175 131 31 13
1003 The claws are bad enough. But those horrid shorts! 1.3257 0.04455 175 129 35 11
1004 Wouldn't it be a lot less weird just to wear a "Proud to be a Mainer" T-shirt? 1.3257 0.04305 175 127 39 9
1005 You’re quite a catch, but I wonder sometimes whether you’re a keeper. 1.3257 0.04528 175 130 33 12
1006 Once again, your claws have gotten you into hot water. 1.3257 0.04381 175 128 37 10
1007 Yes, I don't notice your receding hairline as much. 1.3257 0.04228 175 126 41 8
1008 If you forget your rubber bands again, you're history. 1.3257 0.04741 175 133 27 15
1009 I'm just saying that it would have been nice to mention in your tinder profile 1.3257 0.04228 175 126 41 8
1010 I just don't understand why you won't wear the tail. 1.3257 0.04455 175 129 35 11
1011 Told you your hands needed sunscreen too. 1.3257 0.04528 175 130 33 12
1012 You did it again Larry, you got crabs and now I have to go get tested. 1.3257 0.04671 175 132 29 14
1013 I don't know what it is, you've just been acting really crabby lately. 1.3257 0.04381 175 131 34 10
1014 Who is she trying to impress with all that butter and lemon? 1.3257 0.04150 175 125 43 7
1015 I warned your sister I shouldn't hold the baby. 1.3257 0.04455 175 129 35 11
1016 and you wonder why I'm in a crabby mood?! 1.3257 0.04305 175 127 39 9
1017 God, what is up with you damn Kafkas. 1.3257 0.04381 175 128 37 10
1018 I'm sorry - when I said I was excited to meet a lobsterman I was expecting something different. 1.3257 0.04305 175 127 39 9
1019 Don’t apologize. You are literally spineless. 1.3257 0.04305 175 127 39 9
1020 I, Claudius 1.3257 0.04455 175 129 35 11
1021 I wish I"d never taken off your rubber bands. 1.3257 0.04228 175 126 41 8
1022 Yes, Sebastian, sometimes I do have regrets. 1.3257 0.04381 175 128 37 10
1023 You'll always be a bottom feeder, Frank! 1.3257 0.04150 175 125 43 7
1024 Yes you’re “walking and talking” but the hospital’s 3D printer still has bugs! 1.3257 0.04809 175 134 25 16
1025 And if you try that again you won't like what happens to another body part. 1.3257 0.04741 175 133 27 15
1026 Yes, my issue with your mother IS the cross species divide. 1.3257 0.04528 175 130 33 12
1027 You can't claw your way out this time. I caught you red handed. 1.3257 0.04228 175 126 41 8
1028 If they ask how we met, let me do the talking. 1.3257 0.04150 175 125 43 7
1029 You have serious issues with letting things go. 1.3257 0.04381 175 128 37 10
1030 ... and if you touch me again, I'll change another part of your anatomy! 1.3257 0.04528 175 130 33 12
1031 I knew Santa Claus, and those are not Santa's claws. 1.3257 0.04305 175 127 39 9
1032 So when you meet my parents, it's fist pumps or hugs only. Are we clear? 1.3257 0.04150 175 125 43 7
1033 I don't know, John. There's something fishy about the whole thing. 1.3257 0.04600 175 131 31 13
1034 Just because something is on sale, doesn’t mean you should buy it. 1.3257 0.04455 175 129 35 11
1035 Never date a guy named Kafka. 1.3257 0.04528 175 130 33 12
1036 No, muggers won’t be a problem, but if we meet an octopus you’re going to be in trouble. 1.3257 0.04381 175 128 37 10
1037 Nobody cares if you are from Maine. 1.3257 0.04381 175 128 37 10
1038 After Edward Scissorhands you’d think I’d learn. But nooo.... 1.3257 0.04381 175 128 37 10
1039 Pinch me again and I’ll boil you alive! 1.3257 0.04228 175 126 41 8
1040 This is not what I meant by "evolving". 1.3257 0.04228 175 126 41 8
1041 Your dating profile had been appealing when you stated that you weren't a micro-managing, hands-on guy. 1.3257 0.04381 175 128 37 10
1042 I still can't believe you were able to put that shirt on. 1.3257 0.04381 175 128 37 10
1043 My friends warned me that you were shellfish, but I guess I chose not to see it. 1.3257 0.04600 175 131 31 13
1044 I get that it's a medical condition, but I just want to go bowling sometimes! 1.3257 0.04455 175 129 35 11
1045 A dentist! That's what you decided as a profession? 1.3257 0.04671 175 132 29 14
1046 I'm tired of watching you try to claw your way to the top. 1.3257 0.04070 175 129 37 9
1047 You say you it wasn't a pinch. I say it was a pinch. 1.3257 0.04228 175 126 41 8
1048 Really? That’s how you think you can claw your way to the top? 1.3242 0.04263 182 133 39 10
1049 If you weren't such a great back scratcher I would leave you 1.3240 0.04237 179 130 40 9
1050 For God’s sake, Henry, give it a rest. You’re never getting into dental school. 1.3240 0.04311 179 131 38 10
1051 That waitress was really buttering you up! 1.3240 0.04524 179 134 32 13
1052 Couldn't you have just settled for the Maine t-shirt instead? 1.3240 0.04311 179 131 38 10
1053 I'll just *bet* that slut Suzanne "loves claw meat"! 1.3240 0.04383 179 132 36 11
1054 I've gotta be honest, when the app asked if I was open to dating half-animals, I was at least expecting a centaur or a satyr. 1.3239 0.04360 176 129 37 10
1055 Yes, I did say 'claws for concern.' 1.3239 0.04433 176 130 35 11
1056 At least Edward Scissorhands could cut hair well. 1.3239 0.04433 176 130 35 11
1057 Well, I thought it wouldn't kill you to at least try to pick up the check. 1.3239 0.04130 176 126 43 7
1058 Sure, but when's the last time you actually crushed a mollusk? 1.3239 0.04433 176 130 35 11
1059 It is NOT "just like The Little Mermaid." 1.3239 0.04285 176 128 39 9
1060 Don’t touch me! 1.3239 0.04360 176 129 37 10
1061 ... and every time you made that annoying clacking sound with your fingers, the Rosenthals just looked at each other. 1.3239 0.04506 176 131 33 12
1062 The last guy I dated was a total octopus. Now this! 1.3239 0.04578 176 132 31 13
1063 At this point in our relationship I don’t care how stupid you look. You just better pay very close attention when you get into that voting booth and don’t click “Trump” by mistake. 1.3239 0.04506 176 131 33 12
1064 I applaud your support for sustainable lobster fishing, but couldn't you have just worn the t-shirt? 1.3239 0.04360 176 129 37 10
1065 You can't claw your way out of this one, Jeffery 1.3239 0.04506 176 131 33 12
1066 I can't believe you're wearing jorts. 1.3239 0.04433 176 130 35 11
1067 Foreplay is out of the question 1.3239 0.04208 176 127 41 8
1068 Please tell me this is the last of your elaborate ploys to avoid helping around the house! 1.3239 0.04130 176 126 43 7
1069 Easy for you to say, "get a grip." 1.3239 0.04208 176 127 41 8
1070 It’s always two steps sideways and one step back in this relationship. 1.3239 0.04208 176 127 41 8
1071 What happened to your rubber bands THIS time? 1.3239 0.04648 176 133 29 14
1072 My profile says that I like hot tubs, butter, and Maine vacations, and you swiped right? 1.3239 0.04433 176 130 35 11
1073 Oh sure, it's fun for you, but just stay away from my nipples. 1.3220 0.04412 177 131 35 11
1074 I thought you were getting a tattoo! 1.3220 0.04694 177 135 27 15
1075 But nooooo, you just had to eat that GMO crab meat! 1.3218 0.04235 174 126 40 8
1076 I warned you the #Me Too movement has methods of revenge. 1.3218 0.04312 174 127 38 9
1077 It’s a good thing you’re not the President. 1.3218 0.04752 174 133 26 15
1078 Why do you always have to call attention to yourself when we go out? I told you that wearing shorts in October would make you too conspicuous. 1.3218 0.04312 174 127 38 9
1079 Look who's calling who crabby! 1.3218 0.04235 174 126 40 8
1080 The claws I can live with, but the butter and garlic cologne is a dealbreaker! 1.3218 0.04682 174 132 28 14
1081 Seriously, you need me to spell it out? 1.3218 0.04075 174 124 44 6
1082 Take off the gloves, Bob. Why can't you just say 'I'm allergic to shellfish,' like everyone else does?! 1.3218 0.04538 174 130 32 12
1083 It’s inappropriate for Yom Kippur. 1.3218 0.04464 174 129 34 11
1084 Stop cracking your knuckles. 1.3218 0.04464 174 129 34 11
1085 I thought he said, "Do you agree to the clause?" 1.3218 0.04389 174 128 36 10
1086 Damn it Winston... Get this through your thick head. I ‘m the one who takes off my bra from now on, and that’s final. 1.3218 0.04538 174 130 32 12
1087 Fine, if butter makes you nervous, don't eat it. But don't expect me to give it up. 1.3218 0.04464 174 129 34 11
1088 I know you don't like to wear them, but would it kill you to remember your rubber bands the next time you meet one of my friends? 1.3218 0.04312 174 127 38 9
1089 It offered us three wishes, and you still threw it in the pot! 1.3218 0.04389 174 128 36 10
1090 I'm sorry. It's just that when you told me about your mutant super power, I kind of pictured you as Wolverine. 1.3218 0.04464 174 129 34 11
1091 I sense a trap. 1.3218 0.04389 174 128 36 10
1092 Louis, I was so embarrassed when everyone was staring at us. I told you not to wear shorts to dinner! 1.3218 0.04389 174 128 36 10
1093 Seafood allergy! Who knew? 1.3218 0.04312 174 127 38 9
1094 This was not what I was expecting from your dating profile comment ‘native of Maine’. 1.3218 0.04610 174 131 30 13
1095 Well, I guess it's better than you having crabs. 1.3216 0.04440 171 126 35 10
1096 I told you to stop being so crabby! 1.3216 0.04362 171 125 37 9
1097 I told you to use sunscreen. 1.3216 0.04362 171 125 37 9
1098 I thought you'd be happy that I finally came out of the clawsit. 1.3216 0.04667 171 129 29 13
1099 You DON’T ask for a piece of tail! 1.3216 0.03948 171 125 39 7
1100 $300 for the biggest lobster they had just so you could wear the claws? Really? 1.3198 0.04341 172 126 37 9
1101 We're not buying the hot tub. 1.3198 0.04643 172 130 29 13
1102 I know you are angry at the rabbi but don't you think you are taking this a bit too far? 1.3198 0.04099 172 123 43 6
1103 You're not touching me with those things tonight. 1.3198 0.04569 172 129 31 12
1104 So the old ‘can’t get to my wallet’ bit strikes again. 1.3198 0.04261 172 125 39 8
1105 I just wanted to look different. Everyone has a beard these days. 1.3198 0.04418 172 127 35 10
1106 Hard to believe I thought you were quite a catch all those years ago. 1.3198 0.04569 172 129 31 12
1107 I dunno. Scissorhands at least would have been useful! 1.3198 0.04261 172 125 39 8
1108 You know what they say about big hands. 1.3198 0.04261 172 125 39 8
1109 I’m just going to pop in and grab a couple of pounds of butter for after the surgery. 1.3198 0.04341 172 126 37 9
1110 It's not you, I just don't like back rubs. 1.3198 0.04341 172 126 37 9
1111 I can't believe you think I am crabby. 1.3198 0.04494 172 128 33 11
1112 OK it was funny the first time you pinched me. 1.3198 0.04494 172 128 33 11
1113 No, I'm not really into holding hands and long walks on the beach. 1.3198 0.04341 172 126 37 9
1114 No, you said, "Look at these huge claws, that means something else must be pretty big." 1.3198 0.04341 172 126 37 9
1115 Brad, when the Devil says "sign here" you ALWAYS look for the hidden claws! 1.3198 0.04494 172 128 33 11
1116 I'm tired of hearing your shelfish excuses. 1.3198 0.04418 172 127 35 10
1117 Just keep your red hot mitts off me. 1.3198 0.04261 172 125 39 8
1118 Why would you think you got the crabs from ME? 1.3198 0.04494 172 128 33 11
1119 On the app, you didn’t say you were from Maine. 1.3198 0.04261 172 125 39 8
1120 First Edward Scissorhands, now you. I really need to change my Match profile. 1.3179 0.04547 173 130 31 12
1121 Just tell me that you did NOT pinch that woman on the butt. 1.3179 0.04241 173 126 39 8
1122 What? Do you think I should have gone with the tail instead? 1.3179 0.04241 173 126 39 8
1123 Now that we've broken up you will have to get someone else to tie your shoes for you. 1.3179 0.04079 173 124 43 6
1124 I didn’t expect this when you started clawing your way to the top. 1.3179 0.04620 173 131 29 13
1125 When you bragged about 'clawing your way to the top', this is not what I had in mind. 1.3179 0.04472 173 129 33 11
1126 This is the last time I help you look. If you can't hold on to your phone, then don't use it. 1.3176 0.04448 170 126 34 10
1127 I will not go anywhere with you until you get rubber bands for those claws. 1.3176 0.04123 170 122 42 6
1128 Well Edward Sissorhands got a big role. 1.3176 0.04369 170 125 36 9
1129 I said, ‘Eat too much lobster, you’ll turn into a lobster.’ But did you listen to me? No... 1.3176 0.04369 170 125 36 9
1130 Bill, I know it's high fashion in Maine, but you are in New York 1.3161 0.04298 174 128 37 9
1131 And I guess you’ll want to replace our wedding ring with a rubber band? 1.3161 0.04597 174 132 29 13
1132 You knew the genie only gave you one goddamn wish! 1.3158 0.04426 171 127 34 10
1133 If this doesn't stop your nasty habit nothing will. 1.3158 0.04503 171 128 32 11
1134 No - my nipples still hurt from last night. 1.3158 0.04503 171 128 32 11
1135 I’d invite you back to my place but I’m not sure what we’d do. 1.3158 0.04426 171 127 34 10
1136 I can’t believe you wore shorts to brunch with my Mom. And you could have at least TRIED to pick up the check. 1.3158 0.04268 171 125 38 8
1137 No Mark, I said he was Croatian. 1.3158 0.04186 171 124 40 7
1138 Not everything is about your hands, you know. 1.3158 0.04348 171 126 36 9
1139 For once, I would have preferred being pawed. 1.3158 0.04503 171 128 32 11
1140 Just how do you expect me not to mention them 1.3158 0.04503 171 128 32 11
1141 And you call me shellfish? 1.3155 0.04479 168 125 33 10
1142 Will you take those fucking things off? 1.3155 0.04317 168 123 37 8
1143 Except for some side effects, dear, I really like your new hand lotion. 1.3155 0.04712 168 128 27 13
1144 Couldn't you have asked for a doggy bag? 1.3155 0.04479 168 125 33 10
1145 I'm Kosher. 1.3152 0.04694 165 125 28 12
1146 You have a hard time letting go. 1.3152 0.04282 165 120 38 7
1147 I prefer the right to bear arms. 1.3152 0.04533 165 123 32 10
1148 What do you mean I'm the crabby one? 1.3152 0.04282 165 120 38 7
1149 Keep your hands to yourself! 1.3152 0.04195 165 119 40 6
1150 And you can forget about 2nd Base. 1.3152 0.04015 165 117 44 4
1151 You're being so shellfish! 1.3152 0.04367 165 121 36 8
1152 I knew you were from New England. 1.3152 0.04533 165 123 32 10
1153 Who’s a good catch now? 1.3152 0.04015 165 117 44 4
1154 I just wish you'd stop snapping at me. 1.3152 0.04451 165 122 34 9
1155 You ruined all the romance of the couples bath with your shrieking. 1.3152 0.04451 165 122 34 9
1156 I know you are proud of being from Maine, George, but this is going a bit too far! 1.3152 0.04533 165 123 32 10
1157 Well, good luck regenerating this relationship. 1.3152 0.04106 165 118 42 5
1158 I told you to wear pants. 1.3152 0.04409 165 124 31 10
1159 Well, I warned you not to try them on! 1.3152 0.04533 165 123 32 10
1160 Yes, this is going to affect your piano playing! 1.3152 0.04367 165 121 36 8
1161 That’s it, I’m gonna start keeping kosher. 1.3152 0.04848 165 127 24 14
1162 I said we’re through. Can’t you grasp anything? 1.3152 0.04195 165 119 40 6
1163 Why is that so hard to grasp? 1.3152 0.04694 165 125 28 12
1164 Yeah, yeah, you should have been a pair of ragged claws scuttling across the floors of silent seas. 1.3145 0.04733 159 120 28 11
1165 You didn't need to snap at me.. 1.3145 0.04733 159 120 28 11
1166 I told you, it was a one night swim. 1.3145 0.04733 159 120 28 11
1167 My mother warned me about someone so shellfish. 1.3133 0.04428 166 123 34 9
1168 On Nantucket, you were marginally acceptable. Fifth Avenue . . . not so much. 1.3129 0.04130 163 117 41 5
1169 I appreciate your coming out of your shell a bit, but I still want to know who helped type your dating profile. 1.3129 0.04221 163 118 39 6
1170 Well, I guess we're not going to be eating Chinese... 1.3129 0.04482 163 121 33 9
1171 And what's your first name, Mr, Newburg? 1.3129 0.04648 163 123 29 11
1172 I hate it when you don’t wear socks. 1.3110 0.04199 164 119 39 6
1173 Can't believe I caught you red-handed pinching that woman's bottom! 1.3106 0.04598 161 121 30 10
1174 You don't have to be so snippy about it. 1.3106 0.04513 161 120 32 9
1175 It wasn't funny what you did with that gentleman's bib. 1.3106 0.04338 161 118 36 7
1176 I liked it better when you were all lobster. 1.3106 0.04682 161 122 28 11
1177 This is a deal breaker...I told you I was Kosher. 1.3106 0.04598 161 121 30 10
1178 Do you always have to be so shellfish? 1.3106 0.05003 161 126 20 15
1179 I told you we shouldn't buy a home next to that nuclear reactor! 1.3106 0.04338 161 118 36 7
1180 On Match you said you were Jewish! 1.3106 0.04598 161 121 30 10
1181 I'm simply not going to let you claw your way back into my life! 1.3106 0.04426 161 119 34 8
1182 You just had to shake my fathers hand, didn’t you?! 1.3106 0.04513 161 120 32 9
1183 I do not want to hear "I can't get at my wallet." 1.3106 0.04513 161 120 32 9
1184 You assured me you’d be done moulting before Dr. Earles party tomorrow 1.3106 0.04598 161 121 30 10
1185 I'm just saying ...foreplay just isn’t the same anymore 1.3106 0.04845 161 124 24 13
1186 If you had asked I would have told you to stick with the man bun. 1.3106 0.04598 161 121 30 10
1187 Well, congratulations, genius scientist, but until you find an antidote the engagement is over. 1.3106 0.04426 161 119 34 8
1188 Why didn't you just take the bib? 1.3106 0.04513 161 120 32 9
1189 I mean...you should have, at least, mentioned it in your profile. 1.3106 0.04155 161 116 40 5
1190 This isn't working Larry. I'm going back to ham-fisted Hank. 1.3106 0.04598 161 121 30 10
1191 I stated clearly in my profile that I was allergic to shellfish. 1.3106 0.04598 161 121 30 10
1192 I'm sorry, but I just don't like beards. 1.3106 0.04338 161 118 36 7
1193 I'm through! You'll have to find someone else to deal with your zipper. 1.3106 0.04426 161 119 34 8
1194 Meet my parents? Totally not kosher. 1.3106 0.04338 161 118 36 7
1195 I'm sick and tired of being snapped at. 1.3106 0.04338 161 118 36 7
1196 Well, maybe you should mention your shellfish allergy on your profile page! 1.3106 0.04247 161 117 38 6
1197 Pull something like that again, and we’re going to find out if they grow back. 1.3106 0.04513 161 120 32 9
1198 To you it’s a statement on the Kafkaesque nature of the human condition. To me you’re a jackass. 1.3101 0.04390 158 116 35 7
1199 I just assumed if you could swipe right your hands would be normal. 1.3101 0.04481 158 117 33 8
1200 Well, you didn't get it from me. I'm Jewish! 1.3101 0.04743 158 120 27 11
1201 Yeah, sure. As if everyone didn’t see you pinch her ass. 1.3101 0.04743 158 120 27 11
1202 You know what they say about a man with big hands! 1.3101 0.04657 158 119 29 10
1203 And you accuse ME of being crabby! 1.3101 0.04743 158 120 27 11
1204 I didn't KNOW they had hot tub...but you didn't have to snap at them like that! 1.3101 0.04481 158 117 33 8
1205 I didn't know that you were THAT allergic to Seafood! 1.3101 0.04390 158 116 35 7
1206 Honey!, You are not the only one feeling crabby today! 1.3101 0.04657 158 119 29 10
1207 I promised to love you in sickness and in health. I don't recall anything about lobster hands. 1.3101 0.04006 158 112 43 3
1208 One more word about my mother and the elastic bands go back on! 1.3101 0.04657 158 119 29 10
1209 Why can’t I meet a normal man with “We’re #1” foam hands? 1.3101 0.04743 158 120 27 11
1210 I'm beginning to think this seafood diet of yours isn't such a good idea. 1.3101 0.04297 158 115 37 6
1211 don't snap at me! 1.3101 0.04481 158 117 33 8
1212 Consider the lobster?! How come it’s never consider the woman who has to hold hands with the lobster? 1.3101 0.04743 158 120 27 11
1213 Sorry, I didn’t mean to snap at you. 1.3101 0.04657 158 119 29 10
1214 If you do that again I'll make you wear the rubber bands. 1.3101 0.04202 158 114 39 5
1215 What I don't understand is wearing a long-sleeve shirt with shorts. 1.3101 0.04743 158 120 27 11
1216 You're particularly crabby this evening. 1.3101 0.04297 158 115 37 6
1217 Just remember to start with the fork on the outside first, and no one will notice. 1.3101 0.04570 158 118 31 9
1218 It's not like we mentioned her crows' feet. 1.3101 0.04827 158 121 25 12
1219 No, I’m not holding hands until you boil those things! 1.3087 0.04939 149 114 24 11
1220 Do you have a dime for the parking meter? 1.3086 0.04225 162 118 38 6
1221 You should have mentioned it in you online profile. 1.3086 0.04489 162 121 32 9
1222 Serves you right. You could have wished for anything. But no, you had to wish for a stronger grip! 1.3086 0.04489 162 121 32 9
1223 For the last time, I am not going to let you claw your way back into this family 1.3086 0.04315 162 119 36 7
1224 When your profile said you were crabby, I thought you meant more crabby 'brusque' then crabby bisque. 1.3086 0.04489 162 121 32 9
1225 Jon, Professor Xavier is going to know those aren't real 1.3086 0.04489 162 121 32 9
1226 Oh of course, I'M the shellfish one. 1.3086 0.04403 162 120 34 8
1227 Say what you want Rick, it’s obvious you’ve reached your boiling point. 1.3086 0.04040 162 116 42 4
1228 Charles, either you wear the rubber bands or our relationship is over. 1.3082 0.04367 159 117 35 7
1229 Would it have killed you to wear rubber bands before meeting my parents. 1.3082 0.04367 159 117 35 7
1230 Don't try to deny that you pinched my sister - I caught you red-handed! 1.3082 0.04545 159 119 31 9
1231 I told you sooner or later you'd be caught redhanded, but this is ridiculous. 1.3082 0.04545 159 119 31 9
1232 Don't even try to butter me up. 1.3082 0.04457 159 118 33 8
1233 I told them I wanted to meet someone who wasn’t completely selfish, not shellfish! 1.3082 0.04632 159 120 29 10
1234 So what's your super power? 1.3082 0.04274 159 116 37 6
1235 Maine lobsterman. Well, La Di Da! 1.3082 0.04367 159 117 35 7
1236 The lobster claws are fine, but I truly hate your beard. 1.3082 0.04545 159 119 31 9
1237 No! You cannot hold my hand. 1.3082 0.04180 159 115 39 5
1238 I want to fit in too, but why not adopt a Boston accent instead? 1.3082 0.04367 159 117 35 7
1239 Hear me out . . . They say Lobsters mate for life! 1.3082 0.04545 159 119 31 9
1240 We met on J-date, of course I thought you were kosher! 1.3082 0.04801 159 122 25 12
1241 I know your stance on rubber bands. You still have to wear a wedding band. 1.3082 0.04717 159 121 27 11
1242 Because of what happened last time I held your hand! 1.3082 0.04545 159 119 31 9
1243 You are just so shellfish 1.3082 0.04321 159 119 32 8
1244 This isn’t what I meant when I said I wanted you to change. 1.3082 0.04274 159 116 37 6
1245 There was no need to snap at me like that... 1.3082 0.04457 159 118 33 8
1246 I expect you to keep your claws to yourself. 1.3082 0.04367 159 117 35 7
1247 When you said you were caught 'red-handed', I thought you were just using colorful language. 1.3082 0.04457 159 118 33 8
1248 I told you not to go to Chernobyl. 1.3082 0.04545 159 119 31 9
1249 Be careful. I am boiling mad. 1.3082 0.04717 159 121 27 11
1250 Seriously? Shorts in October! 1.3082 0.04545 159 119 31 9
1251 I knew I shouldn't have let you meet my sisters without wearing your rubber bands. 1.3082 0.04367 159 117 35 7
1252 You couldn’t get a doggie bag like everyone else? 1.3082 0.04545 159 119 31 9
1253 Just get a grip! 1.3082 0.04545 159 119 31 9
1254 Just once I'd like to go out to dinner with friends without your mentioning that they're blue before boiling. 1.3082 0.04545 159 119 31 9
1255 And why should I let you scuttle back to me this time? 1.3082 0.04545 159 119 31 9
1256 Really? You had one wish and you went with lobster claws? 1.3082 0.04457 159 118 33 8
1257 When you said you felt like lobster claws, I thought you wanted to go out for seafood. 1.3082 0.04457 159 118 33 8
1258 You knew the costume party was hosted by a vegan. 1.3082 0.04367 159 117 35 7
1259 ...and please stop reminding me that I knew what you were when I married you. 1.3082 0.04457 159 118 33 8
1260 Stop trying to claw back into my good graces. 1.3082 0.04545 159 119 31 9
1261 You’re still more of a man than my last boyfriend. 1.3082 0.04457 159 118 33 8
1262 No, it's not your flaws that I find irritating. 1.3082 0.04274 159 116 37 6
1263 I have told you a million times. Do not snap at me in public. 1.3082 0.04367 159 117 35 7
1264 Really, then why did she have marks all over her? 1.3082 0.04717 159 121 27 11
1265 Let’s just say balloon animals are not your forte. 1.3082 0.04084 159 114 41 4
1266 Oh, NOW you develop a butter allergy. 1.3077 0.04325 156 114 36 6
1267 I just can't believe how shellfish you are. 1.3067 0.04550 163 123 30 10
1268 No offense Charley, but I prefer the tail over the claw. 1.3062 0.04607 160 121 29 10
1269 No, it’s the clause you added to the prenup I’m really upset about. 1.3062 0.04521 160 120 31 9
1270 You won't even commit to a simple rubber band. 1.3057 0.03904 157 116 36 5
1271 You’re no catch, Robert. 1.3057 0.04396 157 116 34 7
1272 Next time you even think of wearing jean shorts I'm putting the rubber bands back on. 1.3057 0.04922 157 122 22 13
1273 You were expecting Oysters Rockefeller? 1.3057 0.04666 157 119 28 10
1274 You can’t use that as an excuse for everything Andrew. 1.3057 0.04488 157 117 32 8
1275 I think it IS an affectation. 1.3057 0.04396 157 116 34 7
1276 You're right-- it does help to remember that it's not your first fashion faux pas. 1.3057 0.04578 157 118 30 9
1277 Holding hands shouldn't be this painful. 1.3057 0.04488 157 117 32 8
1278 I specifically mentioned in my dating profile that I'm Jewish. 1.3057 0.04396 157 116 34 7
1279 We all get it, Larry, you're a VIP Rouge member at Red Lobster. 1.3057 0.04666 157 119 28 10
1280 You'll wear them until you promise to keep your hands off the hot intern at work! 1.3057 0.04666 157 119 28 10
1281 All those fish in the sea, and I had to catch a lobster... 1.3057 0.04578 157 118 30 9
1282 I can’t believe you talked me into taking you to my manicurist.” 1.3057 0.04396 157 116 34 7
1283 The doctor says l have crabs. 1.3057 0.04666 157 119 28 10
1284 ...and furthermore, I’m allergic to shell fish. 1.3057 0.04753 157 120 26 11
1285 I don't care how ridiculous you look going to a business meeting like this - I'm NOT going to change your pants for you! 1.3057 0.04206 157 114 38 5
1286 At least you stopped scratching yourself. 1.3057 0.04578 157 118 30 9
1287 How could you have known that the drug trials would have resulted in adding color to the New Yorker cartoon at great expense?! 1.3057 0.04578 157 118 30 9
1288 Sometimes a bib is just a bib. 1.3057 0.04396 157 116 34 7
1289 You could have mentioned this in your dating profile 1.3057 0.04396 157 116 34 7
1290 I'd be more excited if you had a tail. 1.3057 0.04666 157 119 28 10
1291 One wish, Zoltar says. So what does my husband, super genius lobster lover wish for?” 1.3057 0.04666 157 119 28 10
1292 They're nice people, and you can't expect everyone to know the difference between a crab and a lobster claw. 1.3057 0.04666 157 119 28 10
1293 Well, you most certainly did not get them from me! 1.3057 0.04396 157 116 34 7
1294 I really don't like when you refer to me as 'The ol' rubber band' 1.3057 0.04838 157 121 24 12
1295 Oh sure, you think you’ve grown a pair, but you’re spineless –just an exoskeleton of your former self! 1.3052 0.04727 154 117 27 10
1296 You woke up a little crabby today. 1.3052 0.04402 154 116 30 8
1297 It's not cold enough for mittens, you're making us look weird. 1.3052 0.04727 154 117 27 10
1298 At least you lost the tail. 1.3052 0.04255 154 112 37 5
1299 You have a way of always leading me into a trap. 1.3052 0.04450 154 114 33 7
1300 Red Lobster doesn't and will never need a mascot, Bill. Quit trying. 1.3038 0.04279 158 116 36 6
1301 Why yes, I did date Edward Scissorhands. Why do you ask? 1.3032 0.04425 155 115 33 7
1302 When we got married I didn't read that lobster clause carefully enough. 1.3032 0.04330 155 114 35 6
1303 I warned you time and time again, she really is a witch and she’s ultra sensitive about the way her hands look, but would you listen... 1.3032 0.04789 155 119 25 11
1304 If you say you got caught red-handed one more time I will scream. 1.3032 0.04425 155 115 33 7
1305 Yes, I understand, they're your favorite mittens. 1.3032 0.04611 155 117 29 9
1306 Remind me to boil some water when we get home. 1.3032 0.04519 155 116 31 8
1307 I told you I keep Kosher when we met, 1.3032 0.04611 155 117 29 9
1308 You can just be so shellfish sometimes, Frank.. 1.3032 0.04789 155 119 25 11
1309 When my doubles partner called you the "lob-ster", I thought she was commending your backcourt return. 1.3032 0.04330 155 114 35 6
1310 When you said you’d claw your way to the top, I thought it was metaphorical! 1.3032 0.04330 155 114 35 6
1311 mobster you said? 1.3032 0.04425 155 115 33 7
1312 I’m really not interested in your ancestry, but I wouldn’t mind a look at your DNA 1.3032 0.04701 155 118 27 10
1313 'Bastard! You'd do anything to avoid a wedding ring!' 1.3032 0.04132 155 112 39 4
1314 Honestly, I don’t understand your silly refusal to join us in Sally and Mike’s backyard hot tub. 1.3032 0.04519 155 116 31 8
1315 This is why our sex life is dying, Gerald. 1.3032 0.04330 155 114 35 6
1316 And all this time I thought you were a Gemini! 1.3032 0.04701 155 118 27 10
1317 For dinner, I wanted lobster for dinner. 1.3032 0.04611 155 117 29 9
1318 I just don’t know why you can’t just keep your claws to yourself. 1.3032 0.04330 155 114 35 6
1319 You are always side-stepping my questions, Gary. 1.3032 0.04519 155 116 31 8
1320 "Let me guess: Edward Scissorhands incognito?" 1.3032 0.04519 155 116 31 8
1321 It's only just that I think the shorts are inappropriate. 1.3032 0.04519 155 116 31 8
1322 Is this your way of saying you won’t hold hands with me in public? 1.3032 0.04132 155 112 39 4
1323 Not what I had in mind for a lobster dinner. 1.3032 0.04232 155 113 37 5
1324 I know you’re really good on the inside. 1.3032 0.04029 155 111 41 3
1325 I don’t care what your therapist says, this isn’t healthy. 1.3032 0.04132 155 112 39 4
1326 They do not help you pick up things better. 1.3032 0.04611 155 117 29 9
1327 I'll do the melted butter, but I am not wearing that little bib. 1.3032 0.04611 155 117 29 9
1328 Next time you see my parents just don’t shake their hands. 1.3032 0.04789 155 119 25 11
1329 I’ve had bad manicures too. Quit complaining! 1.3032 0.04701 155 118 27 10
1330 Okay, but this is the last time I help you go to the bathroom. 1.3032 0.04519 155 116 31 8
1331 Deal with it. You're not in Maine anymore. 1.3032 0.04519 155 116 31 8
1332 I told you not to put your hands in the lobster tank 1.3032 0.04425 155 115 33 7
1333 Just because they add a little color to our lives doesn't mean I have to like them! 1.3032 0.04232 155 113 37 5
1334 Will you stop ending everything you say with '...in a pinch.' 1.3032 0.04029 155 111 41 3
1335 Okay I get it... No need to snap at me! 1.3032 0.04519 155 116 31 8
1336 Good luck trying to claw your way out of this one. 1.3032 0.04425 155 115 33 7
1337 Rule #1: When I say 'hands off', I mean it! 1.3032 0.04611 155 117 29 9
1338 This is what I get for moving to Maine. 1.3032 0.04611 155 117 29 9
1339 No, I haven’t told my parents about you yet, and it has nothing to do with you not being Jewish. 1.3032 0.04132 155 112 39 4
1340 Didn't you learn anything from Jeff Goldblum?!? 1.3013 0.04209 156 114 37 5
1341 You could be a billionaire right now, but NO! You had to ask for a claw. Then, you wished for a "monster hog," knowing that genies are very literal-minded. Still, I could forgive all that — but how did you, with one wish left, ask for a SECOND CLAW!? 1.3013 0.04585 156 118 29 9
1342 I don't know what that couples counselor was talking about, YOU'RE the crabby one in this relationship-- you get it from your mother's side. 1.3013 0.04585 156 118 29 9
1343 Just keep your hands to yourself! 1.3013 0.04494 156 117 31 8
1344 You could have at least tried to fit in. 1.3013 0.04494 156 117 31 7
1345 You've been kind of a crab lately... 1.3013 0.04209 156 114 37 5
1346 The bib wasn’t enough, was it? Ya haaad to haaave the lil’ lobstah claws. 1.3013 0.04401 156 116 33 7
1347 Please stop snapping at me, you're not the only one who can be crabby." 1.3013 0.04354 156 118 30 8
1348 I can't believe that you wore shorts to dinner. You couldn't dress up a little to meet my parents??!?! 1.3013 0.04306 156 115 35 6
1349 No, I don't hold hands on a blind date. 1.3013 0.04209 156 114 37 5
1350 My lawyer said to pull up the prenuptual claws 1.3013 0.04306 156 115 35 6
1351 John, you must give up this idea of becoming a pianist. 1.3013 0.04494 156 117 31 8
1352 Would you mind not cracking your hands? 1.3007 0.04358 153 113 34 6
1353 I don't understand- you said you liked lobster claws... 1.3007 0.04645 153 116 28 9
1354 I admit I didn't think about the impact on our sex life. 1.3007 0.04551 153 115 30 8
1355 Just because you have them doesn't mean you have to keep using them that way. 1.3007 0.04551 153 115 30 8
1356 Better this than your right to bear arms. 1.3007 0.04551 153 115 30 8
1357 There must be another way to get to the top. 1.3007 0.04551 153 115 30 8
1358 It's my fault. When you said you were into "roll playing," I had something else in mind. 1.3007 0.04551 153 115 30 8
1359 That is the LAST time I take you to look at waterbeds. 1.3007 0.04551 153 115 30 8
1360 I hate it when you snap at me! 1.3007 0.04258 153 112 36 5
1361 When you said you had crabs I thought you were kidding. 1.3007 0.04258 153 112 36 5
1362 I'm tired of being the turf to your surf. 1.3007 0.04456 153 114 32 7
1363 I hope you saved the receipt... 1.3007 0.04456 153 114 32 7
1364 Everyone is staring at your jean shorts. 1.3007 0.04551 153 115 30 8
1365 I think you should keep your claws to yourself. 1.3007 0.04598 153 118 25 10
1366 You could have just said that you don't want to wear your wedding ring. 1.3007 0.04456 153 114 32 7
1367 Why did you have to snap at me in public? 1.3007 0.04358 153 113 34 6
1368 Another successful dinner with the in-claws... 1.3007 0.03944 153 119 26 8
1369 I can’t believe you’re wearing jorts on Date Night. 1.3007 0.04456 153 114 32 7
1370 I just dont understand your fear of jacuzzis. 1.3007 0.04645 153 116 28 9
1371 I wish I’d married a Taurus. 1.3007 0.04456 153 114 32 7
1372 This isn't what I had in mind when I said I wanted to go out for lobster. 1.3007 0.04358 153 113 34 6
1373 It always boils down to 'I feel trapped' with you 1.3007 0.04456 153 114 32 7
1374 Sometimes you're such a crab! 1.3007 0.04358 153 113 34 6
1375 I said keep your filthy claws off of me 1.3007 0.04456 153 114 32 7
1376 Please tell me this is just until Halloween. 1.3007 0.04258 153 112 36 5
1377 Did you have to wear shorts? 1.3000 0.04512 150 112 31 7
1378 You pick up stuff. It's not a super power. 1.3000 0.04706 150 114 27 9
1379 Exactly how long will this crustacean phase last? 1.3000 0.04309 150 110 35 5
1380 Your handshake was fine, but it would it have killed you to shave? 1.3000 0.04309 150 110 35 5
1381 Mother was right. You are cray cray, Bruce. 1.3000 0.05246 150 120 15 15
1382 . . . it's just that I never would have guessed you were Jewish. Nothing to get steamed about. 1.3000 0.04893 150 116 23 11
1383 Why do you have to get so crabby when we go visit my mother? 1.3000 0.04412 150 111 33 6
1384 My mother always said you were not the catch I claimed you were. 1.3000 0.04610 150 113 29 8
1385 And would you stop singing "Sandy Claws is coming to town"? 1.3000 0.04610 150 113 29 8
1386 You are, hands down, the most insensitive lover ever. 1.3000 0.04893 150 116 23 11
1387 This is the last time I go out with a pescatarian 1.3000 0.04706 150 114 27 9
1388 No, I didn't take you literally when you said you'll claw your way to the top. 1.3000 0.04610 150 113 29 8
1389 This is never going to work. I'm a Sagittarius who likes change, and I think we both know what you are. 1.3000 0.04706 150 114 27 9
1390 I smell a trap. 1.3000 0.04412 150 111 33 6
1391 Freakin' surrealists! Can't you just PAINT lobsters - do you have to paint AS a lobster! 1.3000 0.05072 150 118 19 13
1392 I told you to get the whole costume. Now they'll all know we're lobsters. 1.3000 0.04610 150 113 29 8
1393 Okay, I'll show you where the nail salon is, but I'm not going in with you! 1.3000 0.04512 150 112 31 7
1394 You're in really hot water after this. 1.3000 0.04204 150 109 37 4
1395 Let's get our Halloween costumes straight. You're the vegan-animal-rights-environmentalist. And I'm the bitch. 1.3000 0.04412 150 111 33 6
1396 It was a simple request. Leave the rubber bands on at the hot air balloon show. 1.3000 0.04610 150 113 29 8
1397 When my parents are visiting, please don’t scuttle. 1.3000 0.04800 150 115 25 10
1398 I don't care what you think, "Lobsessive" Compulsive Disorder isn't a real thing. 1.3000 0.04412 150 111 33 6
1399 Seriously, Frank. You know I hate it when you grow a beard! 1.3000 0.04610 150 113 29 8
1400 You've been so shellfish lately, Tom. 1.3000 0.04706 150 114 27 9
1401 Don’t bother lying. When you left tonight you were tailed. 1.3000 0.04800 150 115 25 10
1402 Doesn't matter what the powers are, "lobsterman" is an occupation, not a superhero. 1.3000 0.04706 150 114 27 9
1403 I know, I know. It's the only contraception Planned Parenthood offers. 1.3000 0.04412 150 111 33 6
1404 Well, maybe I'm feeling a little trapped, too... 1.3000 0.04512 150 112 31 7
1405 Larry couldn't understand Olivia's clawstrophobia. 1.3000 0.04800 150 115 25 10
1406 And to think that I gave up Edward Scissorhands for you! 1.3000 0.04706 150 114 27 9
1407 As I just said, everything was wonderful except the foreplay 1.3000 0.04893 150 116 23 11
1408 You” and your “Save the lobsters” Campaign !!! 1.3000 0.04204 150 109 37 4
1409 And if all the other hipsters jumped off the roof, would you do that too? 1.3000 0.04706 150 114 27 9
1410 You knew it was a witch's restaurant before you ordered the lobster claws. 1.3000 0.04706 150 114 27 9
1411 The next time we go to a "meet and greet" I'm putting the rubber bands back on. 1.3000 0.04800 150 115 25 10
1412 Whoever said ‘love conquers all’ was a fool. 1.3000 0.04893 150 116 23 11
1413 How many times do I have to tell you? I prefer the tail. 1.3000 0.04893 150 116 23 11
1414 You're not the only one who feels trapped in this relationship. 1.3000 0.04706 150 114 27 9
1415 I'm a crab? You're a crab! 1.3000 0.04610 150 113 29 8
1416 If I hear you talking about clawing your way to the top, one more time, I'm going to scream. 1.3000 0.04610 150 113 29 8
1417 You'll regret it if they're serving finger food. 1.3000 0.04610 150 113 29 8
1418 I guess I'll pass on the lobster roll. 1.3000 0.03813 150 108 40 2
1419 No Ethan, you're a shellfish jerk. 1.3000 0.04610 150 113 29 8
1420 You have absolutely no grasp on reality. 1.2994 0.04283 157 116 35 6
1421 How can we maintain a healthy relationship when you are always so shellfish? 1.2987 0.04431 154 115 32 7
1422 Why do people keep calling me Mrs. Claus? 1.2987 0.04710 154 118 26 10
1423 If you have to use the restroom, you're on your own! 1.2987 0.04526 154 116 30 8
1424 Do you really think role playing will reignite our sex life? 1.2987 0.04619 154 117 28 9
1425 No Steve! That, I don't mind. It's the garlic butter! 1.2987 0.04710 154 118 26 10
1426 There’s always an excuse to not hold hands 1.2987 0.04030 154 111 40 3
1427 I wish you had transplanted another part of your anatomy. 1.2987 0.04431 154 115 32 7
1428 You could've at least tried the bisque. 1.2987 0.04334 154 114 34 6
1429 Enough with the "oh snap!" 1.2986 0.04631 144 108 29 7
1430 I told you to wear your long pants 1.2986 0.04836 144 110 25 9
1431 I told you, don’t snap at me! 1.2986 0.04735 144 109 27 8
1432 I said Prenuptial "clause"! 1.2986 0.04631 144 108 29 7
1433 Beware. I'm boiling mad! 1.2986 0.04935 144 111 23 10
1434 I'm translobster. 1.2986 0.05033 144 112 21 11
1435 This is FAR worse than when you fell in love with 'Raiders of the Lost Ark' and wore that stupid fedora for three months. 1.2980 0.04584 151 114 29 8
1436 You just had to say "Let's get tanked!" 1.2980 0.04437 151 115 28 8
1437 Your solidarity with the ocean population goes too far. 1.2980 0.04387 151 112 33 6
1438 Mary Jane’s boyfriend Peter got bit by a radioactive spider does all kinds of cool stuff. And all you can say is that you’re tasty with butter?! 1.2980 0.04285 151 111 35 5
1439 ...and, my parents likely won’t believe you’re Jewish. 1.2980 0.04584 151 114 29 8
1440 Okay! I promise to never again tell you to 'Get a grip!' 1.2980 0.04387 151 112 33 6
1441 I don't mean to be critical, but you need a shave, a new wardrobe, a haircut, and hand moisturizer. 1.2973 0.04337 148 109 34 5
1442 Yes, I’m angry right now, but you are constantly crabby!! 1.2973 0.04644 148 112 28 8
1443 You couldn't just buy a corvette like all the other men going through a mid-life crisis... 1.2973 0.04594 148 114 25 9
1444 I am very sorry I cannot see you again, I have a shellfish Allergy. 1.2973 0.04838 148 114 24 10
1445 ...and I suppose those are the Thermidore shorts that came with them? 1.2973 0.04742 148 113 26 9
1446 Why do you always have to be such a crab about everything? 1.2973 0.04284 148 111 31 6
1447 Would have it been so terrible to ask for a doggie bag?? 1.2973 0.04337 148 109 34 5
1448 Why does it always have to be a seafood restaurant? 1.2973 0.04838 148 114 24 10
1449 I’m the one who should feel trapped. 1.2973 0.04442 148 110 32 6
1450 Stop whining about it, your brother got the tail! 1.2973 0.04442 148 110 32 6
1451 You promised to have that taken care of after we got married. 1.2973 0.04544 148 111 30 7
1452 At least you don't walk sideways. 1.2973 0.04644 148 112 28 8
1453 Nope, the other two wishes are mine. 1.2973 0.04742 148 113 26 9
1454 Sorry, Brad, but I don't think those will really help you claw your way to the top. 1.2973 0.04644 148 112 28 8
1455 Honestly, I've always preferred the tails. 1.2973 0.04644 148 112 28 8
1456 No, David...I don't think shorts were too casual. 1.2973 0.04838 148 114 24 10
1457 You could have mentioned those in your Tinder profile. 1.2973 0.04442 148 110 32 6
1458 Oh sure, but you were fine with Johnny Depp and the scissorhands thing. 1.2973 0.04644 148 112 28 8
1459 And it so happens that your name is Claude 1.2973 0.04644 148 112 28 8
1460 I thought you said you were mainstream. Not Maine stream! 1.2973 0.04544 148 111 30 7
1461 You just HAD to snap at that wizard, didn't you. 1.2973 0.04742 148 113 26 9
1462 Did you really call me "crabby"? 1.2973 0.04742 148 113 26 9
1463 Don't you get snappy with me 1.2973 0.04337 148 109 34 5
1464 You really should have put this in your Tinder bio. 1.2973 0.04544 148 111 30 7
1465 Now look who's in a crabby mood. 1.2973 0.04838 148 114 24 10
1466 Must you jump in the tank with them every single time we're out for dinner? 1.2973 0.04838 148 114 24 10
1467 The woman on the boat thought you were quite the catch. 1.2973 0.04544 148 111 30 7
1468 You know you were flirting. I caught you red-handed. 1.2973 0.04838 148 114 24 10
1469 I assumed you meant transgender, not trans-species. 1.2973 0.04544 148 111 30 7
1470 Why are you being such a crab? 1.2973 0.04544 148 111 30 7
1471 Crustacean Liberation Front, my ass. That's the last time I'm going grocery shopping with you. 1.2973 0.04544 148 111 30 7
1472 Sometimes you’re just so shellfish. 1.2973 0.04544 148 111 30 7
1473 If I have to be The Turf again this year you are in hot water. 1.2973 0.04932 148 115 22 11
1474 Damn.hurry back to the ocean. You're already transforming. 1.2973 0.04544 148 111 30 7
1475 It's not "float like a butterfly, pinch like a bee" 1.2973 0.04742 148 113 26 9
1476 I suppose you want me to come and go talking of Michelangelo. 1.2973 0.03770 148 114 28 6
1477 It's not you, I just don't like holding hands. 1.2973 0.04544 148 111 30 7
1478 It amuses me that your mother thought that I would be trying to get my claws into you." 1.2973 0.04644 148 112 28 8
1479 I still don't understand your emails. 1.2973 0.04544 148 111 30 7
1480 Why can't you claw your way to the top the same way everyone else does? 1.2973 0.04644 148 112 28 8
1481 Well someone's a bit crabby today. 1.2973 0.04442 148 110 32 6
1482 I didn’t say you were grouchy, I said you were crabby 1.2973 0.05024 148 116 20 12
1483 Touch me again and you sleep in the butter dish tonight! 1.2973 0.04742 148 113 26 9
1484 Don't forget, we have to be in Kennebunkport by April. 1.2973 0.04644 148 112 28 8
1485 The B-52s are a band not a lifestyle. 1.2973 0.04644 148 112 28 8
1486 I don’t even know why I agreed to remove your rubber bands for tonight? 1.2973 0.04544 148 111 30 7
1487 Well, you certainly didn't get the crabs from me. 1.2973 0.05024 148 116 20 12
1488 Honey, I'm glad your no longer smoking but when can you take the claws off? 1.2973 0.04644 148 112 28 8
1489 No, I don't think our nickname should be "Surf 'n Turf"! 1.2973 0.04838 148 114 24 10
1490 Once again I caught you red-handed! 1.2973 0.04544 148 111 30 7
1491 arent you getting tired of finger foods??? 1.2973 0.04442 148 110 32 6
1492 Why the hell is it I keep having to fish you out of hot water? 1.2973 0.04230 148 108 36 4
1493 That’s the last time I ask you to scratch my back. 1.2968 0.04111 155 113 38 4
1494 I'm not being shellfish, you're just being crabby. 1.2968 0.04593 155 118 28 9
1495 frankly, you're being you're being a bit crabby. 1.2968 0.04406 155 116 32 7
1496 Let's skip the foreplay today. 1.2968 0.04593 155 118 28 9
1497 Don’t talk about ME being snippy! 1.2968 0.04406 155 116 32 7
1498 I'm not the one who's crabby 1.2968 0.04683 155 119 26 10
1499 If you call me crabby again, you'll be in hot water, mister. 1.2968 0.04501 155 117 30 8
1500 Not all they’re cracked up to be, are they? 1.2968 0.04593 155 118 28 9
1501 One more time and—I swear—I'm gonna put your rubber bands back on. 1.2968 0.04501 155 117 30 8
1502 I don't know why you insist on shopping at that second-hand store. 1.2953 0.04518 149 112 30 7
1503 Why do you have to be so shellfish? 1.2953 0.04097 149 115 27 7
1504 You need to update your profile picture. 1.2949 0.04382 156 117 32 7
1505 Well, in the bright side , we got you out of hot water just in time 1.2949 0.04745 156 121 24 11
1506 You just had to pinch the baby's cheeks, didn't you? 1.2949 0.04476 156 118 30 8
1507 Could we try something other than seafood tonight? 1.2949 0.04476 156 118 30 8
1508 You just had to go to Area 51, didn't you? 1.2949 0.04189 156 115 36 5
1509 You agree? Pinch me, I must be dreaming. 1.2945 0.04778 146 112 25 9
1510 So you won't be a piano player... It's OK.. 1.2945 0.04365 146 108 33 5
1511 Now I don't want you to hurt him. I just want you to scare him. 1.2945 0.04255 146 107 35 4
1512 You just can't keep your claws off 1.2945 0.04576 146 110 29 7
1513 I knew we stayed too long in Maine 1.2937 0.04307 143 105 34 4
1514 I don’t care if they are your favorite team. 1.2937 0.04742 143 109 26 8
1515 Do that once more and I'm getting out the rubber bands. 1.2937 0.04307 143 105 34 4
1516 You're just like your father, you never let things go. 1.2937 0.04637 143 108 28 7
1517 Well, your interspecies dating fling has certainly presented a challenge to our relationship. 1.2937 0.04011 143 105 35 3
1518 Some guys are all hands--but not you. 1.2937 0.04637 143 108 28 7
1519 How can you win first prize when you've lost the rest of the costume? 1.2937 0.04530 143 107 30 6
1520 Honestly Jeff, sometimes you can be just a pinch annoying. 1.2937 0.04637 143 108 28 7
1521 It’s not an accident that nobody makes a lobster claw dildo 1.2937 0.05044 143 112 20 11
1522 You cray cray. 1.2937 0.04637 143 108 28 7
1523 You've been spending way too much time in Maine. 1.2937 0.04637 143 108 28 7
1524 You could've just said you don't like holding hands in public. 1.2937 0.04307 143 105 34 4
1525 I told you the maitre d' wouldn't seat a man wearing shorts. 1.2937 0.04845 143 110 24 9
1526 I don’t think we’re at the stage where you meet my parents. Also, my father is allergic to shellfish. 1.2937 0.04845 143 110 24 9
1527 If the theater is going to insist on rubber bands, they should at least provide them. 1.2937 0.04637 143 108 28 7
1528 Edward Lobster-Hands and his agent after failing their audition. 1.2937 0.04742 143 109 26 8
1529 Well I can tell you right now Nephro, we are never visiting another petting zoo! 1.2937 0.04742 143 109 26 8
1530 It's humiliating enough! Did they have to print us in two colors? 1.2937 0.04742 143 109 26 8
1531 I just don't want to get hurt again. 1.2937 0.04845 143 110 24 9
1532 That is the last time we go to Red Lobster for sex advice! 1.2937 0.04742 143 109 26 8
1533 I told you I had a thing for mobsters. 1.2937 0.04742 143 109 26 8
1534 Yes, you did tell me your name was Clawed, but I didn't think it was spelled that way. 1.2937 0.04742 143 109 26 8
1535 If you had cloven feet, or even scales, fine, but my parents don’t like me dating shellfish men. 1.2937 0.04530 143 107 30 6
1536 That’s not what I was talking about when I said lobster is an aphrodisiac. 1.2937 0.04845 143 110 24 9
1537 Why couldn't you pick a normal pair of gloves? 1.2937 0.04794 143 112 21 10
1538 I'm sorry, Larry, but you simply can't blame everything on that. 1.2937 0.04530 143 107 30 6
1539 That’s it. We’re putting the rubber bands back on. 1.2937 0.05044 143 112 20 11
1540 From now on, keep your claws off me. 1.2937 0.04742 143 109 26 8
1541 If runway designers jumped off a cliff would you do that too? 1.2937 0.04742 143 109 26 8
1542 And don't you dare tell me you got them from trying on pants!" 1.2937 0.04307 143 105 34 4
1543 If you're thinking 'this might be the night,' then you can forget it. 1.2937 0.04637 143 108 28 7
1544 New York on a Saturday, you'd think it'd be easy to find some butter. 1.2937 0.04191 143 104 36 3
1545 You don’t have to tell me that Maine is in your blood. 1.2937 0.04191 143 104 36 3
1546 I preferred the scissors... 1.2937 0.04530 143 107 30 6
1547 Can't you play anything besides "Chopsticks"? 1.2937 0.04530 143 107 30 6
1548 Did you have to start crying when you saw your cousin on the plate? 1.2937 0.04945 143 111 22 10
1549 Say one more thing and I'll boil you head first 1.2937 0.04845 143 110 24 9
1550 I thought you and Dad would get along, considering how much he values a firm handshake. 1.2937 0.04637 143 108 28 7
1551 I told you don't get grabby...now you've ruined a nice evening. 1.2937 0.04637 143 108 28 7
1552 I just don't think it's a big enough reason not to have children. 1.2937 0.04420 143 106 32 5
1553 It’s always the same excuse with you. 1.2937 0.04530 143 107 30 6
1554 Remember when we used to hold hands? 1.2937 0.04420 143 106 32 5
1555 I guess they're better than alligator arms when the check comes. 1.2937 0.04845 143 110 24 9
1556 I'd've thought that would be on your profile. 1.2937 0.04742 143 108 26 8
1557 I said you are being selfish, not shellfish! 1.2937 0.04637 143 108 28 7
1558 and in the era of "me too!" 1.2937 0.04307 143 105 34 4
1559 Well, I do feel left out when you go to your crustacean group meetings. 1.2933 0.04590 150 114 28 8
1560 What I don't understand is why you decided to boil them. 1.2930 0.04542 157 120 28 9
1561 And you were complaining about my red shoes. 1.2925 0.04549 147 111 29 7
1562 At least the remote control is all mine now! 1.2925 0.04549 147 111 29 7
1563 I should never have let you start a species reassignment surgery 1.2925 0.04549 147 111 29 7
1564 Your dating profile definitely should have mentioned this. 1.2925 0.04651 147 112 27 8
1565 Clawing your way back won't work, Harry. 1.2925 0.04446 147 113 27 7
1566 Let's go eat lobster, you said. It'll be fun, you said. 1.2917 0.04282 144 106 34 4
1567 I know my profile said I love lobster, but.. 1.2917 0.04609 144 109 28 7
1568 That's the last time I help you go to the bathroom. 1.2917 0.04503 144 108 30 6
1569 The way you touch me just isn't kosher 1.2917 0.04714 144 110 26 8
1570 Market price is good, if you ever pinch me again I'd sleep with one eye open if I were you. 1.2917 0.04394 144 107 32 5
1571 And did you notice the smirk on that waiter’s face when we asked for more butter? 1.2917 0.04394 144 107 32 5
1572 Don't you feel crabby sometimes? 1.2917 0.04503 144 108 30 6
1573 Looks like you got yourself into some hot water 1.2917 0.04394 144 107 32 5
1574 Yeah, so you really think the jury's going to buy that? 1.2917 0.04714 144 110 26 8
1575 I told you to wear rubber bands when we go out in public. 1.2917 0.04714 144 110 26 8
1576 I don't care if you like the tail - I'm not wearing one. 1.2917 0.04714 144 110 26 8
1577 What's wrong with the tank you have? 1.2917 0.04609 144 109 28 7
1578 You caught me red handed. Again. 1.2917 0.04503 144 108 30 6
1579 I coulda sworn your profile said part motocyclist, part MOB-ster... 1.2917 0.04394 144 107 32 5
1580 No, I didn’t choose you from the tank. 1.2917 0.04282 144 106 34 4
1581 This is not going to get you out of doing the dishes. 1.2917 0.04167 144 105 36 3
1582 So... I thought that when you said you were into lobsters, you meant eating them! 1.2917 0.04282 144 106 34 4
1583 I’m getting tired of your constant snapping at me. 1.2917 0.04394 144 107 32 5
1584 This is the last time we see Dr. Moreau for your arthritis. 1.2917 0.04503 144 108 30 6
1585 You know, the HR department making you wear the “Pinchers of Shame” is actually something to be ashamed of. 1.2917 0.04609 144 109 28 7
1586 Right! You couldn't help pinching the waitress! 1.2917 0.04915 144 112 22 10
1587 And for god’s sake, don’t monopolize the Beluga hors d’oeuvres. 1.2917 0.04282 144 106 34 4
1588 All your friends wear rubber bands. Why do you have to be different? 1.2917 0.04282 144 106 34 4
1589 How am I the snappy one? 1.2917 0.04609 144 109 28 7
1590 Josephine told me last night you couldn't keep your claws off her. 1.2917 0.04609 144 109 28 7
1591 Get over it. Edward Scissorhands tanked his first audition. 1.2917 0.04394 144 107 32 5
1592 No pussy grabbing for you 1.2917 0.04815 144 111 24 9
1593 I know your profile said you've been slowly coming out of your shell, but honestly I just feel deceived. 1.2917 0.04609 144 109 28 7
1594 I told you not to take the rubberbands off until the second date. 1.2917 0.04503 144 108 30 6
1595 Fine, I get it — You feel like a pair of ragged claws scuttling across the floors of silent seas. But at least you could’ve shaved. 1.2917 0.04394 144 107 32 5
1596 Oh you don't think my parents are going to ask if your Jewish? 1.2917 0.04394 144 107 32 5
1597 I specifically said "Lobster Roll"....not stroll.... 1.2917 0.04815 144 111 24 9
1598 Why don’t you just say you want to move to Maine 1.2917 0.04282 144 106 34 4
1599 I don't care if you saw lint on my blouse and skirt! 1.2917 0.04394 144 107 32 5
1600 But you used to love it when I rubbed you with butter 1.2917 0.04609 144 109 28 7
1601 I have never understood a single sentence in The New Yorker 1.2917 0.04503 144 108 30 6
1602 So that's all you could think of when the genie gave you a free wish. 1.2917 0.04394 144 107 32 5
1603 Nothing against lobstermen, I just think your pictures were misleading. 1.2917 0.04503 144 108 30 6
1604 All of the animal kingdom and you choose this? 1.2917 0.04714 144 110 26 8
1605 I think we need to talk about our sex life. 1.2917 0.04503 144 108 30 6
1606 I know they cost $1200, but you look ridiculous. 1.2917 0.04815 144 111 24 9
1607 "You're been acting very shellfish lately." 1.2917 0.04503 144 108 30 6
1608 I seriously doubt this will land Maine an NFL team. 1.2917 0.04282 144 106 34 4
1609 You can't let go of anything, can you? 1.2917 0.04167 144 105 36 3
1610 I can’t bring you home for dinner because my parents keep kosher. 1.2917 0.04394 144 107 32 5
1611 I mean, you could have at least wished for jazz hands. 1.2917 0.04394 144 107 32 5
1612 I suppose you think I'm going to change the kitty litter from now on! 1.2910 0.04717 134 101 27 6
1613 Well, if she is just an old friend, why did she spend the whole meal buttering you up? 1.2905 0.04913 148 116 21 11
1614 Never. 1.2889 0.04444 135 100 31 4
1615 your wearing shorts in October ! 1.2889 0.04917 135 104 23 8
1616 You are just so damned shellfish. 1.2889 0.04567 135 101 29 5
1617 When you asked me if I was allergic to shellfish, I thought you were being ironic. 1.2887 0.04534 142 107 29 6
1618 What did you expect they were gonna tell you when you asked for a manicure?! 1.2887 0.04479 142 109 26 7
1619 You promised me that you were going to get a manicure beforeour anniversary dinner! 1.2887 0.04423 142 106 31 5
1620 If I could wipe my own butt I wouldn't be asking you to! 1.2887 0.04853 142 110 23 9
1621 No, I will not wear eau de clarified butter and thats final! 1.2887 0.04423 142 106 31 5
1622 I told you not to participate in that stupid gene splicing experiment. What dd you expect, the hands of Horowitz? 1.2887 0.04749 142 109 25 8
1623 Is THIS the anti-mugging device that you ordered off the internet? 1.2887 0.04308 142 105 33 4
1624 How did you even swipe right with those things? 1.2887 0.04955 142 111 21 10
1625 And second, Mom, dental school was your dream, not mine. 1.2887 0.04853 142 110 23 9
1626 You know what I hate most about this whole lobster claw hands phase you are going through? Helping you pee! 1.2887 0.04643 142 108 27 7
1627 How many times have I told you "pinch me, I'm must be dreaming" is a figure of speech, not meant literally? 1.2887 0.05249 142 114 15 13
1628 Well, clawing your way to the top hasn't worked, has it! 1.2887 0.04423 142 106 31 5
1629 When you said you had crabs I didn't know it was this serious 1.2887 0.04749 142 109 25 8
1630 What did you think the replacement clause meant ? 1.2887 0.04308 142 105 33 4
1631 I just feel like we're not the same type. 1.2887 0.04423 142 106 31 5
1632 Next time maybe we take the genie more seriously? 1.2887 0.04191 142 104 35 3
1633 And you call me a crab? 1.2887 0.04643 142 108 27 7
1634 That's it...were getting rubber bands! 1.2887 0.04643 142 108 27 7
1635 I liked it better when you were all hands. 1.2887 0.04749 142 109 25 8
1636 Yet another reason why full body shots in dating profiles should be mandatory. 1.2887 0.04643 142 108 27 7
1637 I suppose you also have crabs? 1.2878 0.04706 139 106 26 7
1638 I just want you to stop saying "vice-like grip". 1.2878 0.04816 139 107 24 8
1639 And you say I'm crabby. 1.2878 0.04594 139 105 28 6
1640 When your profile said that you identify as a lobster, I thought you were joking. 1.2878 0.04116 139 101 36 2
1641 YOU CAN FORGET THE FOREPLAY! 1.2878 0.04479 139 104 30 5
1642 How do you even wipe your a- nevermind. I don't want to know. God why can’t I just meet a normal guy? Fuck you, Tinder. 1.2878 0.04923 139 108 22 9
1643 Now what's the matter? 1.2878 0.04816 139 107 24 8
1644 Pinch my ass one more time and you'll be relocated to Riker's Island! 1.2878 0.04594 139 105 28 6
1645 what possibly could have happened that you stopped taking my calls? 1.2878 0.04361 139 103 32 4
1646 It's not going to happen. Stop singing I want to hold you hand. 1.2878 0.04361 139 103 32 4
1647 I saw you clawing that woman! 1.2878 0.04594 139 105 28 6
1648 I've got your nose?... Larry ... Seriously, you played I've got your nose? 1.2878 0.04594 139 105 28 6
1649 It's that darn sex offender registration. 1.2878 0.04594 139 105 28 6
1650 You seem to always forget your wallet. 1.2878 0.04706 139 106 26 7
1651 So what, we'll just never thumb wrestle? 1.2878 0.04594 139 105 28 6
1652 Ok, you’ve clawed your way to the top; now what? 1.2878 0.04706 139 106 26 7
1653 I told you 'prenuptial claws' was a stupid bit. 1.2878 0.04479 139 104 30 5
1654 You might have mentioned that "The Metamorphosis" is your favorite book in your profile. 1.2878 0.04923 139 108 22 9
1655 Now I know what it feels like to be caught red-handed. 1.2878 0.04479 139 104 30 5
1656 Well, Jeff, I still contend your protest over the tariffs is a tad too subtle. 1.2878 0.05028 139 109 20 10
1657 I still don't see why you aren't letting me get a unicorn horn, Bill. 1.2878 0.04816 139 107 24 8
1658 OK but the claws weren't in any of your Tinder photos. 1.2878 0.05028 139 109 20 10
1659 I think it's a bit of a stretch to call those "loving hands" in your dating profile 1.2878 0.04594 139 105 28 6
1660 I suppose you think my allergy to shellfish is the only problem? 1.2878 0.04706 139 106 26 7
1661 I’m just so tired of everyone calling you ‘Santa’... 1.2878 0.04706 139 106 26 7
1662 I wish they were just clammy again. 1.2878 0.04816 139 107 24 8
1663 Of course people were staring all night - look at the way you're dressed! 1.2878 0.04479 139 104 30 5
1664 I can’t put my finger on it, but something about this relationship isn’t kosher. 1.2878 0.04479 139 104 30 5
1665 Foreplay is out, dream date. 1.2878 0.04706 139 106 26 7
1666 You were all handsy earlier, and now this? Your mood swings are out of control! 1.2878 0.04479 139 104 30 5
1667 Just once could you not say "I'll just have a pinch, please." 1.2878 0.04706 139 106 26 7
1668 Stop saying that I'm trying to butter you up. 1.2878 0.04421 139 105 27 6
1669 Try to be less crabby when we visit my parents. 1.2878 0.04479 139 104 30 5
1670 I am not "A prisoner of binary thinking"! 1.2878 0.04361 139 103 32 4
1671 My mother warned me about dating someone from Maine. 1.2878 0.04594 139 105 28 6
1672 I hate that the kids call you CrawDad 1.2878 0.04479 139 104 30 5
1673 You bet I'm boiling mad. 1.2878 0.04594 139 105 28 6
1674 No, I will NOT call you. Crawdaddy. 1.2878 0.04479 139 104 30 5
1675 I didn't like the way you looked at that crab. 1.2878 0.04594 139 105 28 6
1676 Stay away from the cat. 1.2878 0.04479 139 104 30 5
1677 I'm tired of having you pick up fish for dinner 1.2878 0.04361 139 103 32 4
1678 He definitely won’t be able to find my clit now. 1.2878 0.04923 139 108 22 9
1679 You do everything halfway, Jeffrey. I was a mermaid." 1.2878 0.05028 139 109 20 10
1680 My father loathes a weak handshake. 1.2878 0.04479 139 104 30 5
1681 So shellfish... you KNOW I'm allergic to hyperbole. 1.2878 0.04923 139 108 22 9
1682 When you told me that they caught you red-handed, I didn't think you meant it literally! 1.2878 0.04479 139 104 30 5
1683 You dropped a ming vase? You wonder why they call you butterfingers! 1.2878 0.04706 139 106 26 7
1684 You just had to touch the china, didn't you?! 1.2867 0.04720 143 110 25 8
1685 That’s not even your Maine problem! 1.2857 0.04566 140 106 28 6
1686 I thought you were saying you wanted to be "selfish" for once. 1.2857 0.04892 140 109 22 9
1687 Touch my butt again and I'll turn you into a toad. 1.2857 0.04452 140 105 30 5
1688 Online you said you were Kosher 1.2857 0.04677 140 107 26 7
1689 I caught him red-handed. 1.2857 0.04566 140 106 28 6
1690 All I said was why don't we try that seafood restaurant on 48th street. 1.2857 0.04566 140 106 28 6
1691 I can't believe you won't introduce me your parents! 1.2857 0.04677 140 107 26 7
1692 I know you’re achey, but I wouldn’t take a hot bath if I were you. 1.2857 0.04335 140 104 32 4
1693 I thought your profile said a couple of small flaws, not huge tall claws!! 1.2857 0.04509 140 108 25 7
1694 No way am I letting you bring those into the bedroom. 1.2857 0.04677 140 107 26 7
1695 No, actually, I couldn't see them on your Tinder profile. 1.2857 0.04566 140 106 28 6
1696 No, when they say, “You literally have to claw your way to the top here,” they do not actually mean “literally.” 1.2857 0.04892 140 109 22 9
1697 I knew you weren't having safe sex! 1.2847 0.04627 137 104 27 6
1698 Rabbi doesn't approve of us. 1.2847 0.04627 137 104 27 6
1699 The days I only got a peck on the cheek are looking good now. 1.2847 0.04742 137 105 25 7
1700 I should be the one who is crabby. 1.2847 0.04742 137 105 25 7
1701 This isn't gonna work if you keep sidestepping all my advances. 1.2847 0.04742 137 105 25 7
1702 Don't try clawing your way out of this one 1.2847 0.03581 137 106 27 4
1703 I normally like a lot of foreplay, but . . . 1.2847 0.04510 137 103 29 5
1704 When you molt they will come off 1.2847 0.04627 137 104 27 6
1705 Clawing your way to the top is fine, but you might want to consider a business suit. 1.2847 0.04627 137 104 27 6
1706 You always have to take the rubber bands off, don't you? 1.2847 0.04742 137 105 25 7
1707 It isn’t as good as spiderman but it is better than roachboy. 1.2847 0.04742 137 105 25 7
1708 I want a divorce, Clawed. 1.2847 0.04854 137 106 23 8
1709 Your love for lobster is getting out of hand. 1.2847 0.04389 137 102 31 4
1710 I see you were caught red-handed. What's your excuse this time? 1.2847 0.04742 137 105 25 7
1711 You clearly don’t understand a pre-nuptial clause, or a homonym. 1.2847 0.04963 137 107 21 9
1712 You're taking your T. S. Eliot infatuation too far. 1.2847 0.04854 137 106 23 8
1713 Oh right, you always win the I felt awkward thing. 1.2847 0.04510 137 103 29 5
1714 How can you possibly think they don’t define you?! 1.2847 0.04510 137 103 29 5
1715 Pinching was supposed to just be our special thing. 1.2847 0.04627 137 104 27 6
1716 Stop it, before I get crabby! 1.2847 0.05017 137 110 16 11
1717 I just wish you’d gotten bitten by a Merman instead. 1.2847 0.04963 137 107 21 9
1718 You and your allergies have once again ruined our evening! 1.2847 0.04742 137 105 25 7
1719 I caught you red-handed flirting with my best friend, Larry. 1.2837 0.04309 141 105 32 4
1720 I begged you not to play that piano. 1.2837 0.04648 141 110 23 8
1721 Even if I do dress as a cup of melted butter, I don't think we're gonna win. 1.2837 0.04648 141 108 26 7
1722 So much for trying to claw your way to the top. 1.2837 0.04538 141 107 28 6
1723 Try that again and I'm getting out the rubber bands. 1.2837 0.04538 141 107 28 6
1724 You could at least aspire to be some sort of superhero. 1.2837 0.04538 141 107 28 6
1725 Clawed? Clawed? Being pawed is bad enough. 1.2837 0.04190 141 104 34 3
1726 Of course I’m not going to forgive you! I’ve just caught you red- handed. 1.2837 0.04756 141 108 24 8
1727 I didn't understand the special 'claws' in our prenuptial agreement. Now I'm going to leave you red-handed ! 1.2837 0.04861 141 110 22 9
1728 Looks like you're cooked. 1.2837 0.04756 141 109 24 8
1729 I look at you, and all I see is red!! 1.2837 0.04648 141 108 26 7
1730 I just don't think 'Lobsterman' has much of a superhero ring to it! 1.2837 0.04309 141 105 32 4
1731 Why am I disappointed? Of course I assumed your profile was referring to dinner. 1.2837 0.04190 141 104 34 3
1732 That's not what you father meant when he said you have to claw your way to success. 1.2837 0.04538 141 107 28 6
1733 Just tell me how you got the rubber bands off! 1.2837 0.04190 141 104 34 3
1734 You're the shellfish one in this relationship! 1.2837 0.04538 141 107 28 6
1735 I’m sick of you ignoring my texts. 1.2837 0.04538 141 107 28 6
1736 Well....o.k. But no foreplay 1.2837 0.04190 141 104 34 3
1737 I'm crabby? 1.2837 0.04648 141 108 26 7
1738 I double-checked your online dating profile again. You definitely did not include a hyphen in your occupation, ‘Lobster-Man’. 1.2837 0.04648 141 108 26 7
1739 I'm allowed to be crabby sometimes too! 1.2837 0.04538 141 107 28 6
1740 You could have at least tried on the tail. 1.2837 0.04648 141 108 26 7
1741 I'm just sick of your shellfishness 1.2837 0.04425 141 106 30 5
1742 There's a reason we don't hold hands in public 1.2837 0.04861 141 110 22 9
1743 Sometimes I wish you hadn't come out of your shell. 1.2837 0.04538 141 107 28 6
1744 No one appreciates you pointing out that's your friend in the tank. 1.2837 0.04309 141 105 32 4
1745 Rubber Bands are Wedding Bands in Maine 1.2836 0.05148 134 106 18 10
1746 Did you ever consider becoming a mohel? 1.2836 0.04809 134 103 24 7
1747 You're REALLY going to be in hot water when we get home. 1.2836 0.04570 134 101 28 5
1748 You're taking your T.S.Eliot thesis waaay too seriously. 1.2836 0.04809 134 103 24 7
1749 Keep your claws to yourself! You're not the President! 1.2836 0.05148 134 106 18 10
1750 ‘That’s the last time I go on Plenty of Fish.’ 1.2836 0.04691 134 102 26 6
1751 You transition, you get crabby." 1.2826 0.04823 138 107 23 8
1752 John if I hear you say 'claw-ful' one more time we are done... 1.2826 0.04823 138 107 23 8
1753 I'm boiling right now! No offense. 1.2826 0.04541 138 107 24 7
1754 Not what I meant by "Arbitration Clause" 1.2826 0.04482 138 104 29 5
1755 Damn it Glen! I told you to lay off the breast stuff! 1.2826 0.04177 138 109 22 7
1756 If they had boiled the rest of you we wouldn’t be having this conversation. 1.2826 0.04482 138 104 29 5
1757 If you grab my butt one more time . . . 1.2826 0.04362 138 103 31 4
1758 Those were NOT apparent from your profile pictures! 1.2826 0.04598 138 105 27 6
1759 Whenever we visit my family in Maine its like you grow a shell that you want hide in 1.2826 0.04712 138 106 25 7
1760 And what a wasted wish that was, Mr. Prufrock! 1.2826 0.04482 138 104 29 5
1761 You can't wear those forever, David. You're going to have to hold my sister's newborn eventually. 1.2826 0.04712 138 106 25 7
1762 It's fine. I can get my ring resized. 1.2826 0.04823 138 107 23 8
1763 You didn’t need to take me so seriously when I suggested you should try clawing your way to the top. 1.2826 0.04482 138 104 29 5
1764 I miss the days when your hands were just cold and clammy. 1.2826 0.04482 138 104 29 5
1765 You know I never have liked that shirt. 1.2826 0.04712 138 106 25 7
1766 Why do you always have to be so shellfish? 1.2826 0.04823 138 107 23 8
1767 Oh so the rubber bands come off and suddenly you’re Mr. Big Shot? 1.2826 0.04482 138 104 29 5
1768 God, what a mistake. You seemed like such a catch. 1.2826 0.04598 138 105 27 6
1769 Don’t be embarrassed Phil. I’m sure there were some other people who also thought Lobsterfest was like Comic-Con for seafood lovers. 1.2826 0.04362 138 103 31 4
1770 God, I hate your circus friends. 1.2826 0.04712 138 106 25 7
1771 Why are you always so crabby?" "Because you have no idea who I am! 1.2826 0.04598 138 105 27 6
1772 You can’t claw your way out this time. 1.2826 0.04712 138 106 25 7
1773 Yes, I know how it feels to be trapped 1.2826 0.05142 138 110 17 11
1774 You can bet you're gonna be in hot water! 1.2826 0.04823 138 107 23 8
1775 We should've known, with a name like 'Prosthetics R Us'. 1.2826 0.04598 138 105 27 6
1776 It’s always the same story - we go out, you drink too much and then you start clawing at me. 1.2826 0.04712 138 106 25 7
1777 I don't know what you were thinking - you know the tail is my favorite part." 1.2826 0.05142 138 110 17 11
1778 Oh yeah? And you’re no Prufrock. 1.2826 0.04239 138 102 33 3
1779 If you have to wear them, fine! But I will not call you Santa. 1.2826 0.04823 138 107 23 8
1780 You embarrassed me in that balloon modelling class. 1.2826 0.04712 138 106 25 7
1781 That “little pinch” was far more than just a tease sir! 1.2826 0.04598 138 105 27 6
1782 This won't work Bill, you're too shellfish. 1.2826 0.04482 138 104 29 5
1783 When you called me to tell me you had crabs I didn’t think that THIS is what you meant. 1.2826 0.04482 138 104 29 5
1784 Claude, how many times do I have to tell you. Stop pinching me. It hurts. 1.2826 0.04712 138 106 25 7
1785 You must admit you have been more than a little crabby lately 1.2826 0.04823 138 107 23 8
1786 I can get crabby sometimes. You made your point. 1.2826 0.04931 138 108 21 9
1787 Seriously? That makes up for giving me crabs? 1.2826 0.04823 138 107 23 8
1788 Yet again, Malcolm mysteriously finds himself facing accusations of getting "grabby" in public. 1.2826 0.04482 138 104 29 5
1789 Just because you're buying me dinner doesn't mean you can put your claws all over me later on. 1.2826 0.04931 138 108 21 9
1790 I saw you pinch her ass 1.2826 0.04712 138 106 25 7
1791 And if I get wet I turn into a little mermaid. 1.2826 0.04482 138 104 29 5
1792 Why couldn't you just ask for a doggy bag? 1.2826 0.04482 138 104 29 5
1793 You can beg all you want, no butter sauce in bed 1.2817 0.04727 142 110 24 8
1794 No, you can't pinch my butt. 1.2817 0.04620 142 109 26 7
1795 You give me claws for alarm. 1.2806 0.04570 139 106 27 6
1796 NO!! I don't care, I don't want us to help each other in the restroom 1.2803 0.04726 132 101 25 6
1797 You should have told me your crabs had gotten worse. 1.2803 0.05080 132 104 19 9
1798 I just don’t see Broadway being that interested in doing a musical about your life, that’s all.” 1.2803 0.04726 132 101 25 6
1799 If you call me the crabby one ONE MORE TIME, so help me God, I’ll— 1.2803 0.04965 132 103 21 8
1800 Did you notice Chloe's slight about you growing up in Maine? 1.2803 0.04475 132 99 29 4
1801 I really mean when I say “keep your claws off me!”. 1.2803 0.04726 132 101 25 6
1802 So that's how you were able to claw your way to the top? 1.2803 0.04847 132 102 23 7
1803 What next, tails? 1.2803 0.04847 132 102 23 7
1804 I've never teased you about YOUR mother. 1.2803 0.04344 132 98 31 3
1805 Can’t say I ever thought I would be banned from a Red Lobster. 1.2803 0.04209 132 97 33 2
1806 You can stop trying to butter me up, I’m real steamed 1.2803 0.05080 132 104 19 9
1807 Well, you're the one whose crabby! 1.2803 0.04475 132 99 29 4
1808 This week on "Botched". . . 1.2803 0.05193 132 105 17 10
1809 I told you not to eat the lobster bisque with your fingers. 1.2803 0.04726 132 101 25 6
1810 You are so bathetic. 1.2803 0.04726 132 101 25 6
1811 Maybe massage therapy just isn't your thing.. 1.2803 0.04475 132 99 29 4
1812 You know the Halloween party is on cape cod...Lobster costumes are out sharks are in .... 1.2803 0.04847 132 102 23 7
1813 That's no excuse for not reaching for the check 1.2803 0.04475 132 99 29 4
1814 Look Ma no hands. 1.2803 0.04602 132 100 27 5
1815 No,no! A comma puts a pause at the end of your clause. 1.2803 0.04847 132 102 23 7
1816 Okay, okay, you've made your point. You're not a shellfish guy. 1.2803 0.04602 132 100 27 5
1817 You’re right, I should have put this in my profile. 1.2803 0.04602 132 100 27 5
1818 Don't even THINK about holding my hand." 1.2803 0.04475 132 99 29 4
1819 If the Mayor wants you to do ribbon cuttings he should pay you. 1.2803 0.04475 132 99 29 4
1820 I said our prenuptial agreement contained a 'clause,' not.. 1.2803 0.04344 132 98 31 3
1821 And they named you Claude why? 1.2803 0.04602 132 100 27 5
1822 Your piano gig at the seafood restaurant did not go well! 1.2803 0.04847 132 102 23 7
1823 They better be returnable. 1.2803 0.04475 132 99 29 4
1824 Date night and you are wearing board shorts and a sweatshirt. We are not going to Applebees! I hate my life. 1.2794 0.04748 136 105 24 7
1825 At least they stopped commenting on my "tail." 1.2794 0.04512 136 103 28 5
1826 You know how I love to be buttered up. 1.2794 0.04631 136 104 26 6
1827 The next time someone says she could use a hand, try to remember the last three lawsuits 1.2794 0.04390 136 102 30 4
1828 Please don’t try anything on our first date. 1.2794 0.04134 136 105 26 5
1829 I caught you red handed buttering her up at the seafood bar. 1.2794 0.04512 136 103 28 5
1830 Did you really have to go to such lengths not to hold my bag? 1.2794 0.05080 136 108 18 10
1831 And your calling me crabby!! 1.2794 0.04631 136 104 26 6
1832 I just wish you’d leave skeletons in the closet instead of on the bathroom floor. 1.2794 0.04972 136 107 20 9
1833 Your "It's the claw!" thing to the child in the next booth was simply uncalled for. 1.2794 0.04390 136 102 30 4
1834 Maybe you could be less shellfish. 1.2794 0.04748 136 105 24 7
1835 Well, you certainly were crabby this evening. 1.2794 0.04631 136 104 26 6
1836 I'm sorry but that's not an excuse for pinching her. 1.2794 0.04134 136 100 34 2
1837 You were nicer with a tail. 1.2794 0.04972 136 107 20 9
1838 Butter might free me but it seems like bad karma. 1.2794 0.05080 136 108 18 10
1839 I hope those are imitation lobster. 1.2782 0.04573 133 101 27 5
1840 I’m just tired of you always snapping at me. 1.2782 0.04815 133 103 23 7
1841 How did you even swipe right on me? 1.2782 0.04446 133 100 29 4
1842 For the last time, I know what pescatarian means. 1.2782 0.04815 133 103 23 7
1843 4th of July,Portland,Maine 1.2778 0.04865 126 97 23 6
1844 You accuse me of being crabby? 1.2778 0.04733 126 96 25 5
1845 No, Peter, you were supposed to get bitten by a spider, not a spider crab!" 1.2748 0.04605 131 100 26 5
1846 I don’t care if they were on sale. 1.2748 0.04205 131 97 32 2
1847 I should have been suspicious when your Match.com nickname was "Giant Lobster Claws" 1.2748 0.05089 131 104 18 9
1848 I told you I don't date Cancers... 1.2748 0.04605 131 100 26 5
1849 When you wrote on your dating profile that your friends call you “Claude,” I didn’t know they meant that literally. 1.2748 0.04605 131 100 26 5
1850 My friend warned me you were cray-cray. 1.2748 0.04853 131 102 22 7
1851 and you said I'M a crab? 1.2748 0.04475 131 99 28 4
1852 Oh, I'm the one being snippy? 1.2748 0.04605 131 100 26 5
1853 This is so humiliating; all my friends say that you must be lousy in bed. 1.2748 0.04475 131 99 28 4
1854 I did not say you're a crab. I just said you're acting like one. 1.2748 0.04605 131 100 26 5
1855 I told you to shave and I hate those shorts! 1.2748 0.04605 131 100 26 5
1856 You're being shellfish again. 1.2748 0.04605 131 100 26 5
1857 What did you think of the crab cakes? 1.2748 0.04730 131 101 24 6
1858 You could have told me you didn’t want to go to Red Lobster and spared me your tirade. 1.2734 0.05048 128 101 19 8
1859 You hand models are something else. 1.2734 0.04602 128 100 22 6
1860 Your online profile said "suffers from clammy hands" but this is a little too much for me. 1.2734 0.05048 128 101 19 8
1861 If we're going to date, you're going to have to wear rubber bands. 1.2734 0.04798 128 99 23 6
1862 I am NOT crabby. You Are!!! 1.2734 0.05048 128 101 19 8
1863 I can’t believe we’ve been dating for 2 years and you still won’t hold hands 1.2734 0.04668 128 98 25 5
1864 No! I won't give you a hand job. 1.2734 0.04668 128 98 25 5
1865 If you didn't want to see the palm reader you should have just said so! 1.2734 0.04397 128 96 29 3
1866 So, you're a witch who doesn't like men who get "handsy" on first dates. Noted! 1.2734 0.05048 128 101 19 8
1867 You know, you can just say that you don't like going to the sign language class with me. 1.2734 0.04925 128 100 21 7
1868 I said I have a thing for MOBsters 1.2734 0.04925 128 100 21 7
1869 Can we stop at Walgreen’s? I need some rubber bands. 1.2734 0.04925 128 100 21 7
1870 I thought I had finally cracked you, Lou, but wow, you're a lot of work. 1.2734 0.04798 128 99 23 6
1871 Just wait 'til I get a piranha mouth. 1.2727 0.05168 132 106 16 10
1872 When your transition is complete, you'll be doing your own zipping. 1.2727 0.04939 132 104 20 8
1873 Ugh! You’re more and more shellfish every day! 1.2727 0.04939 132 104 20 8
1874 You wouldn’t even try on the mittens my mother knit you. 1.2727 0.04699 132 102 24 6
1875 There’s nothing in your Tinder profile about been a CRISPR afionado 1.2727 0.04699 132 102 24 6
1876 You should have told me that your mother is a lobster. 1.2727 0.04446 132 100 28 4
1877 I thought you said you "loved" lobster, not that you're "part" lobster. 1.2720 0.04454 125 94 28 3
1878 I’m sure she WANTED to shake hands, but I already told you Mila’s Kosher! 1.2720 0.04666 125 98 21 6
1879 I had the strangest dream last night. Your feet were duck feet. 1.2720 0.04735 125 96 24 5
1880 So, this is what you meant when you said you had hot hands. 1.2720 0.05000 125 98 20 7
1881 This is probably a good time to put things on ice. 1.2720 0.04454 125 94 28 3
1882 I don't do shellfish. 1.2720 0.04597 125 95 26 4
1883 No, it has nothing to do with the Me Too movement...your pinching at work just has to stop. 1.2720 0.04597 125 95 26 4
1884 "Sorry...I just don't see us mating for life. 1.2720 0.04454 125 94 28 3
1885 If you don't want to do the dishes, just say so. 1.2720 0.04869 125 97 22 6
1886 All I'm saying is that you've been crabby lately. 1.2713 0.04505 129 98 27 4
1887 Deny, deflect, dismiss, but you were caught red-handed. 1.2713 0.04637 129 99 25 5
1888 When you said you were volunteering for a medical experiment, I thought it was for your clogged sinuses. 1.2713 0.04766 129 100 23 6
1889 There's no need to get snippy! 1.2698 0.04565 126 96 26 4
1890 I'll "do in a pinch"? That really hurts! 1.2698 0.04965 126 99 20 7
1891 How about I scratch your back and you scratch your back? 1.2698 0.04835 126 98 22 6
1892 I told you I preferred clammy hands. 1.2698 0.04702 126 97 24 5
1893 You are not allowed in a thrift store alone anymore. 1.2698 0.04424 126 95 28 3
1894 They stay until you learn to keep your hands to yourself. 1.2698 0.04965 126 99 20 7
1895 I thought you were kidding when you said our pre-nup had a lobster clause. 1.2698 0.04835 126 98 22 6
1896 I thought your NAME was Claude. 1.2698 0.04565 126 96 26 4
1897 If I have told you once, I have told you a thousand times to keep your claws off me, or there will be consequences. 1.2698 0.04702 126 97 24 5
1898 I hate it when you get so crabby. 1.2698 0.04565 126 96 26 4
1899 You didn't know it was a kosher restaurant? 1.2698 0.04565 126 96 26 4
1900 Sorry, but scuttling across the floors of silent seas is not my idea of a hot first date. 1.2698 0.04835 126 98 22 6
1901 I meant to order lobster from Maine, not lobster les mains! Stupid autocorrect. 1.2698 0.04835 126 98 22 6
1902 Good luck hailing a cab. 1.2698 0.04965 126 99 20 7
1903 Honestly Roger, I finally get why people call you Dependent Clause.” 1.2698 0.04424 126 95 28 3
1904 This wouldn’t happen if you kept your hands to yourself. 1.2698 0.04565 126 96 26 4
1905 You're soaking those things in drawn butter and lemon the second we get home. 1.2698 0.04702 126 97 24 5
1906 You better keep your claws to yourself, Mister 1.2698 0.04278 126 99 22 5
1907 Choosing to wear crab claws shouldn't grant you a disability parking permit. 1.2698 0.04565 126 96 26 4
1908 Don't shake anybody's hand- our insurance won't cover it. 1.2698 0.04424 126 95 28 3
1909 Quit trying to butter me up. 1.2698 0.04702 126 97 24 5
1910 Not only too expensive but they're starting to smell bad. 1.2698 0.04565 126 96 26 4
1911 Whatever you read on the Internet, I can assure you that walking around with huge lobster claws on your hands will not raise your IQ. 1.2698 0.04965 126 99 20 7
1912 Embarrass me again and you are in hot water! 1.2698 0.04702 126 97 24 5
1913 OK, but no more foreplay 1.2698 0.04702 126 97 24 5
1914 I suppose this means that we will not be able to visit any friends who have a fish tank. 1.2698 0.04702 126 97 24 5
1915 Will you put those things away! 1.2698 0.05091 126 100 18 8
1916 My last boyfriend has Russian hands and the previous Roman fingers but you win out as a bottom feeder. 1.2698 0.05214 126 101 16 9
1917 I told you to use hand lotion. 1.2698 0.04565 126 96 26 4
1918 Butter fingers is not a compliment. 1.2698 0.04424 126 95 28 3
1919 And keep your claws off me! 1.2698 0.05091 126 100 18 8
1920 You don't think that's an over-reaction to #MeToo? 1.2698 0.04702 126 97 24 5
1921 Any new strategies for "clawing your way to the top"? 1.2698 0.05091 126 100 18 8
1922 Mother didn't think it was funny either! 1.2698 0.04965 126 99 20 7
1923 That was the first and last time we go to second base. 1.2698 0.04835 126 98 22 6
1924 I had way more fun dating that fly with the human head and arms. 1.2698 0.04835 126 98 22 6
1925 There is no need to snap at me! 1.2698 0.04702 126 97 24 5
1926 I asked you to call a cab... 1.2698 0.04965 126 99 20 7
1927 If you touch my hair again, you’ll be in hot water. 1.2698 0.04702 126 97 24 5
1928 Cold hands, warm heart. 1.2698 0.04835 126 98 22 6
1929 You can take the man out of Maine but... 1.2698 0.04965 126 99 20 7
1930 I guess we won’t be holding hands any time soon, 1.2698 0.04835 126 98 22 6
1931 I said I love Santa Claus not lobster claws 1.2698 0.04965 126 99 20 7
1932 No Bermudas in months with an R, what on earth...? 1.2698 0.04565 126 96 26 4
1933 You asked me to draw you a hot bath. So what if it was over an open flame." 1.2698 0.04565 126 96 26 4
1934 I've been catfished, but never crawfished. 1.2698 0.04965 126 99 20 7
1935 You deserve crabs! That's what you get for cheating! 1.2698 0.05453 126 103 12 11
1936 No! Not if you’re going to keep snapping at me like that.” 1.2698 0.04424 126 95 28 3
1937 I mean, we GOT our flu shots. Why won't she let us hold the new baby? 1.2698 0.04424 126 95 28 3
1938 Just another excuse to avoid chores 1.2698 0.04702 126 97 24 5
1939 I can't believe you didn't speak to me before you had it done. 1.2698 0.04835 126 98 22 6
1940 Your father runs a lobster boat, what does your mother do? 1.2698 0.05214 126 101 16 9
1941 A first-class restaurant would have put your takeaway leftovers in a bag. 1.2698 0.05091 126 100 18 8
1942 It's nothing that a little butter couldn't fix. 1.2698 0.04702 126 97 24 5
1943 If I have to say it again, our divorce will be at ‘Market Price’. 1.2698 0.04835 126 98 22 6
1944 I'm sorry. Jewish parents like mine just have old-fashioned ideas about potential husband material. 1.2698 0.05214 126 101 16 9
1945 You can't claw your way out of this, Jeff! 1.2698 0.05335 126 102 14 10
1946 Remember me telling you, 'you are what you eat'? 1.2698 0.04965 126 99 20 7
1947 You should have told me you were related before I ordered. 1.2698 0.04565 126 96 26 4
1948 You need to grow up and get a job. 1.2698 0.04702 126 97 24 5
1949 If you're going to claw your way up, you might want to re-think the shorts. 1.2698 0.04565 126 96 26 4
1950 That's not what I meant when I said I hope our neighbor gets pinched for stealing our newspapers. 1.2698 0.04634 126 99 21 6
1951 The last time you wore those out it got us both in hot water. 1.2698 0.04835 126 98 22 6
1952 That was no love pinch. 1.2698 0.04702 126 97 24 5
1953 I’m sorry I’m an Aries, I don’t get along with people who are Cancer. 1.2698 0.04965 126 99 20 7
1954 We’re together and you should wear your bands 1.2698 0.04702 126 97 24 5
1955 And another thing: why do I always have to carry your wallet. I'm not your mother. 1.2698 0.04702 126 97 24 5
1956 You’re gonna be in hot water when we get home. 1.2698 0.04565 126 96 26 4
1957 Not from Maine? Boston perhaps? 1.2698 0.04835 126 98 22 6
1958 I’m just afraid you’re going to get attached. 1.2698 0.04702 126 97 24 5
1959 And you still can't grab a cab! 1.2677 0.04534 127 97 26 4
1960 Draw me like one of your French girls? You can't even draw butter. 1.2677 0.04802 127 99 22 6
1961 How many times do I have to say it? I am a capable independent woman who can crack open her own mussels at dinner. 1.2677 0.04930 127 100 20 7
1962 I know you're uncomfortable at seafood restaurants, but sometimes I just have to have some. 1.2677 0.04394 127 96 28 3
1963 You have the right to bear arms. You do not have the right to lobster arms. 1.2677 0.04534 127 97 26 4
1964 You said, and I quote "Just take the rubber bands off, it'll be fine. 1.2672 0.04475 116 87 27 2
1965 Some SuperHero you are if all you can do is crack open nuts. 1.2661 0.04873 124 97 21 6
1966 Pinch me one more time and I swear I'll turn those red claws blue. 1.2661 0.05135 124 99 17 8
1967 We can't go on like this, Carl. I keep kosher. 1.2661 0.04737 124 96 23 5
1968 It wasn't your claws that kept us from getting a table, but that you thought jean shorts were proper dress for a 5-star restaurant. 1.2661 0.04737 124 96 23 5
1969 You didn't have to steal them. They were part of the meal. 1.2661 0.04737 124 96 23 5
1970 I thought once I cut the rubber bands off, we could at least try holding hands. 1.2661 0.04596 124 95 25 4
1971 My favorite movie? Edward Scissorhands! 1.2661 0.04737 124 96 23 5
1972 Oh, get a grip, Frank. 1.2661 0.04596 124 95 25 4
1973 Well, you do have a nice thorax. 1.2661 0.05006 124 98 19 7
1974 If you ever call me Melania again, we'll see who has the sharper claws. 1.2661 0.05135 124 99 17 8
1975 Never, repeat, never pat me on the bottom again! 1.2661 0.04737 124 96 23 5
1976 Did you have to be that snappy to the waiter? 1.2661 0.04873 124 97 21 6
1977 I said I’m sorry. Just please stop saying you’re boiling mad! 1.2661 0.04873 124 97 21 6
1978 Pinch my ass one more time, I swear... 1.2661 0.04596 124 95 25 4
1979 It's not you, Harry. It's me. 1.2650 0.05063 117 92 19 6
1980 I told you not to use the hot tub. 1.2650 0.04915 117 91 21 5
1981 Ok, I get it-you don't like doing the dishes 1.2640 0.04493 125 98 22 5
1982 You could just say you don't like to shake hands. 1.2640 0.04839 125 98 21 6
1983 Maybe you're OK with the side effect from your virility prescription, but you can be sure there won't be any more foreplay. 1.2640 0.05098 125 100 17 8
1984 What does she have that I don't, besides the claws? 1.2640 0.04839 125 98 21 6
1985 Colin Farrell you are not. 1.2640 0.05223 125 101 15 9
1986 I do love you. It's just that you're always clawing at me. 1.2640 0.04703 125 97 23 5
1987 Why didn't you just text me? 1.2640 0.04564 125 96 25 4
1988 You don't ever want to pinch my hand anymore. 1.2640 0.04970 125 99 19 7
1989 Had I known this is what you meant by "trans," I never would have messaged you on Tinder. 1.2640 0.04970 125 99 19 7
1990 It's time you got your OWN nail polish! 1.2640 0.05098 125 100 17 8
1991 Stop lying. I caught you red-handed. 1.2640 0.04564 125 96 25 4
1992 Foreplay? I don't think so... 1.2640 0.04839 125 98 21 6
1993 I use speech to text. 1.2640 0.04420 125 95 27 3
1994 I can't see how you're comfortable going out to dinner in shorts. 1.2640 0.04839 125 98 21 6
1995 Well at least they got the color right! 1.2640 0.04970 125 99 19 7
1996 So you're Claude, eh? I should have known.. 1.2640 0.04703 125 97 23 5
1997 Maybe after you moult... 1.2640 0.04839 125 98 21 6
1998 This is why I can't date East Coast men. 1.2623 0.04911 122 96 20 6
1999 When you phoned me and said you’d acquired superhero powers, at first I was excited. 1.2623 0.05180 122 98 16 8
2000 No, I'm NOT getting the sexy lobster bib. 1.2623 0.04627 122 94 24 4
2001 And then you overreacted when I simply recommended a hot bath. 1.2623 0.04771 122 95 22 5
2002 Clause, Henry. Prenuptial clause. 1.2623 0.04771 122 95 22 5
2003 I draw the line with the melted butter! 1.2623 0.04771 122 95 22 5
2004 Edward Scissorshand You're Not 1.2623 0.04627 122 94 24 4
2005 That's the last time we watch a Johnny Depp movie before dinner. 1.2623 0.05047 122 97 18 7
2006 I told you when you meet my family, not to shake hands! 1.2623 0.04911 122 96 20 6
2007 Oh, so I'm the crabby one? 1.2623 0.04911 122 96 20 6
2008 I did say that I love lobster, but this changes nothing for us. 1.2623 0.05047 122 97 18 7
2009 Please stop saying you'll 'Be there in a pinch." 1.2623 0.04627 122 94 24 4
2010 The only thing all men seem to have in common is the audacity. 1.2623 0.04771 122 95 22 5
2011 Maybe you should go back to Maine. 1.2623 0.04911 122 96 20 6
2012 A class on Origami? Really? 1.2623 0.03999 122 95 24 3
2013 I just don’t understand how some men let themselves get bitten by radioactive lobsters. 1.2623 0.04911 122 96 20 6
2014 You don't have to be so snappy. 1.2623 0.04627 122 94 24 4
2015 I thought you said you were going for a manicure. 1.2623 0.04911 122 96 20 6
2016 You don't always have to claw your way to the top. 1.2623 0.04627 122 94 24 4
2017 It's already bad enough that you wore shorts... 1.2623 0.04627 122 94 24 4
2018 I know he was my ex, but did you have to shake his hand like that? 1.2623 0.04771 122 95 22 5
2019 Men o Claws 1.2623 0.05180 122 98 16 8
2020 It's bad enough you slept with her but did you have to catch the crabs? 1.2623 0.04911 122 96 20 6
2021 I’m frustrated, too. They said they had an iPhone for everybody. 1.2623 0.04627 122 94 24 4
2022 And another thing. No more sex. 1.2623 0.04911 122 96 20 6
2023 Don’t you think those lab experiments has gone a little too far..? 1.2623 0.04627 122 94 24 4
2024 I don’t care what you’ve read on the internet. Antibiotics will work. 1.2623 0.05047 122 97 18 7
2025 I know you think you can claw your way to the top, but this is ridiculous. 1.2623 0.04627 122 94 24 4
2026 I told you to delete the lobster clause. 1.2623 0.04627 122 94 24 4
2027 No need to get all snappy 1.2623 0.04627 122 94 24 4
2028 One more pinch and I’m getting out the rubber bands. 1.2623 0.04627 122 94 24 4
2029 We're in quite a pinch, aren't we? 1.2623 0.04478 122 93 26 3
2030 I had something else in mind when I read in your dating profile that you clawed your way to the top. 1.2623 0.04478 122 93 26 3
2031 and you think I'M crabby. 1.2623 0.05180 122 98 16 8
2032 I THOUGHT WE AGREED TO LEAVE THE EPISODE IN BAR HARBOR BEHIND US! 1.2623 0.04911 122 96 20 6
2033 You would have had him if it wasn't for that thing he did with his tail. 1.2623 0.04771 122 95 22 5
2034 You always crack under pressure! 1.2623 0.04324 122 92 28 2
2035 I hate the fact that you now always have to wear loafers. 1.2623 0.04324 122 92 28 2
2036 How do you expect to claw your way to the top wearing shorts in October? 1.2623 0.04771 122 95 22 5
2037 YOU are the one who's crabby. 1.2623 0.04771 122 95 22 5
2038 I told my folks you are mostly kosher. 1.2623 0.04771 122 95 22 5
2039 Honestly John, just because you won the Silent Auction last week, does not mean you should wear your new gloves everywhere. 1.2623 0.04771 122 95 22 5
2040 Being Lobsterman is not a superpower to brag about. 1.2623 0.04478 122 93 26 3
2041 Of course I'm upset! You never help with the dishes! 1.2623 0.04478 122 93 26 3
2042 I know you're mad. I'm sorry I was snappy. 1.2623 0.05047 122 97 18 7
2043 It's a bit heavy-handed. Just sayin'. 1.2623 0.04771 122 95 22 5
2044 And I thought your Hulk hands were bad! 1.2623 0.04771 122 95 22 5
2045 You sure you don’t need a hand? 1.2623 0.04627 122 94 24 4
2046 You should have no problem clawing your way to the top. 1.2623 0.05047 122 97 18 7
2047 My mom caught me jerking off! 1.2623 0.04771 122 95 22 5
2048 I hope that teaches you to keep your claws off other women. 1.2623 0.04771 122 95 22 5
2049 It seems like you just can't take a crack anymore. 1.2623 0.05180 122 98 16 8
2050 I liked you better when you weren't so crabby. 1.2623 0.04478 122 93 26 3
2051 I told you Alexa was listening. 1.2623 0.04771 122 95 22 5
2052 Well no, it's not exactly a super power. 1.2623 0.04911 122 96 20 6
2053 I’m not against public displays of affection, Marion - I’d just feel awful if something went wrong. 1.2623 0.04627 122 94 24 4
2054 How was I supposed to know she had a shellfish allergy? 1.2623 0.04627 122 94 24 4
2055 I'm sorry. I just don't trust you without the rubber bands. 1.2623 0.04478 122 93 26 3
2056 You were right again. They caught me red-handed. 1.2623 0.04627 122 94 24 4
2057 Your desire to standout is becoming upsetting! 1.2623 0.04627 122 94 24 4
2058 Why didn't you tell me you're allergic to shellfish? 1.2623 0.04478 122 93 26 3
2059 No! You can't add the tail. 1.2623 0.05047 122 97 18 7
2060 I told you not to eat the Chernobyl lobster just because it was cheap. 1.2623 0.04771 122 95 22 5
2061 I didn't break you out of SeaWorld just to hear you complain about the integrity of my Bouillabaisse. 1.2623 0.04324 122 92 28 2
2062 You’re always so crabby. 1.2623 0.04911 122 96 20 6
2063 You don't have to be snappy with me. 1.2623 0.03736 122 96 23 3
2064 I suspect you’re going to want me to give you a butter bath when we get home! 1.2623 0.04771 122 95 22 5
2065 Once again, caught red-handed. 1.2623 0.05047 122 97 18 7
2066 What do you mean, you want to see other mollusks? 1.2623 0.04402 122 95 23 4
2067 We should probably watch Edward Scissorhands 1.2623 0.04627 122 94 24 4
2068 I told you Stanley, sometimes it can be worse than just hairy palms . . . 1.2623 0.04911 122 96 20 6
2069 Evidently, we have very different ideas of what dinner on me means. 1.2623 0.04324 122 92 28 2
2070 People make assumptions when they see a man with big crab hands. 1.2623 0.04771 122 95 22 5
2071 I can’t love a man whose touch is so shellfish! 1.2623 0.04771 122 95 22 5
2072 I don't want to sound insensitive, but you think you might have included this in your Tinder profile?!" 1.2623 0.04627 122 94 24 4
2073 I don't care if they were serving lobster, I wanted to eat there. 1.2623 0.04771 122 95 22 5
2074 I don't know, Jim...why do you THINK I'm feeling crabby? 1.2623 0.04771 122 95 22 5
2075 You used to hate parties before you came out of your shell. 1.2623 0.04771 122 95 22 5
2076 If you realized the waiter was a genie I suppose you wouldn't have ordered the lobster claws. 1.2623 0.04911 122 96 20 6
2077 I misunderstood your profile when you said you’ve had to claw yourself to the top. 1.2623 0.05047 122 97 18 7
2078 Who are they calling bottom feeders? 1.2623 0.04478 122 93 26 3
2079 It's not my fault the text autocorrected Lakers to Lobsters! 1.2623 0.04911 122 96 20 6
2080 I am NOT in a crabby mood! 1.2623 0.04911 122 96 20 6
2081 Fine. You made your point. But did you need to wear them during the salad course too? 1.2623 0.04627 122 94 24 4
2082 Why doesn't anyone take my shellfish allergy seriously? 1.2623 0.04911 122 96 20 6
2083 A toilet seat? I don't believe you! 1.2623 0.04627 122 94 24 4
2084 For the millionth time, Harry, this IS about your balloon fetish 1.2623 0.04627 122 94 24 4
2085 Ok, like you never do any frivolous shopping 1.2623 0.04911 122 96 20 6
2086 Look, your profile said arthropod. I thought that meant you have arthritis. 1.2623 0.04478 122 93 26 3
2087 My colleague will recover but the next time I introduce you to someone, first put on your rubber bands. 1.2623 0.04911 122 96 20 6
2088 No, it doesn't sort of give you permission to say to a complete stranger, "Hey, your tail looks delicious". 1.2623 0.04911 122 96 20 6
2089 Hell, it wasn't a problem with the cat. 1.2623 0.04324 122 92 28 2
2090 Stop being so snippy 1.2623 0.04627 122 94 24 4
2091 I told you male enhancement using CRISPR was a bad idea! 1.2623 0.05047 122 97 18 7
2092 You don’t have to be embarrassed. Last week I dated a real mollusk! 1.2623 0.04245 122 94 25 3
2093 Feel free to use my hand cream anytime. 1.2623 0.04627 122 94 24 4
2094 God, I can't believe you snapped at the waiter again. If you can't control your attitude, we're not doing brunch anymore 1.2623 0.04771 122 95 22 5
2095 You're being awfully crabby today. 1.2623 0.04700 122 97 19 6
2096 I just knew that sex therapist was going to lead us astray! 1.2623 0.04911 122 96 20 6
2097 First it was global warning protests, now it's transmutation of DNA from animals into humans. What's next, membership in EarthMom.org? Just can keep your claws to yourself tonight buster. 1.2623 0.04627 122 94 24 4
2098 ....but did you have to sit in the tank All diner..? 1.2623 0.04771 122 95 22 5
2099 Good luck with your Juilliard audition. 1.2623 0.05180 122 98 16 8
2100 Yeah, you know what else goes well with lobster? A nice hot bath, followed by a glass of chardonnay! 1.2623 0.04627 122 94 24 4
2101 I’m not saying you have to use your new powers for good, but if a radioactive lobster bit me, I might do thing differently. 1.2623 0.05047 122 97 18 7
2102 I just hate it when you pick at your food! 1.2623 0.04771 122 95 22 5
2103 We’ve been through this! You can pick your nose! You can pick your girlfriend! But you CANNOT PICK YOUR GIRLFRIEND’’S NOSE!! 1.2623 0.05047 122 97 18 7
2104 When you said you were a Lobster fisherman, I wasn’t expecting this. 1.2623 0.04478 122 93 26 3
2105 Yeah, but Ross wasn't ACTUALLY a lobster. 1.2623 0.04911 122 96 20 6
2106 I can't believe your left one isn't bigger. 1.2623 0.04911 122 96 20 6
2107 I still don't see why you had to have it done on both hands. 1.2623 0.04627 122 94 24 4
2108 I wish I hadn't married a Cancer. 1.2623 0.04627 122 94 24 4
2109 Do NOT make me take out the rubber bands again!! 1.2623 0.04771 122 95 22 5
2110 I told you, I don't like it when you get handsy. 1.2623 0.05047 122 97 18 7
2111 Next time just wear the stupid apron! 1.2623 0.04771 122 95 22 5
2112 Well, if couples therapy doesn't work, how about a manicure. 1.2623 0.04771 122 95 22 5
2113 When you said role playing I thought you meant in the bed not at lunch... 1.2623 0.04771 122 95 22 5
2114 If you're going to be crabby, I'm going home. 1.2623 0.04627 122 94 24 4
2115 I distinctly remember telling you my mother was allergic to shell fish. 1.2623 0.04911 122 96 20 6
2116 The claws are the sweetest part. 1.2623 0.04771 122 95 22 5
2117 So now there’s a ‘lobster fight club’?! 1.2623 0.04771 122 95 22 5
2118 Just can’t keep your hands to yourself, can you? 1.2623 0.05047 122 97 18 7
2119 Listen Alan, if you feel like a wus, I don’t care anymore...buy some hand lotion. 1.2623 0.04771 122 95 22 5
2120 You KNOW how crabby it makes me when you pinch women on the subway! 1.2623 0.05047 122 97 18 7
2121 You won’t be disappointed. They are ideally shaped for a blended orgasm. 1.2623 0.04911 122 96 20 6
2122 I didn’t appreciate the gossip at the party that I have crabs. 1.2623 0.04771 122 95 22 5
2123 I am sure you said: Dress For Dinner, not Dress AS Dinner. 1.2623 0.04771 122 95 22 5
2124 I just wish we could eat somewhere that serves more than starfish, sea urchins, and marine worms 1.2623 0.04911 122 96 20 6
2125 This wasn't the reaction I was expecting when I told you to keep your hands off other women. 1.2623 0.04478 122 93 26 3
2126 You can't just claw your way out of everything, Jeff! 1.2623 0.04324 122 92 28 2
2127 How many times do I have to say it, the drawn butter was for my toast. 1.2623 0.04478 122 93 26 3
2128 Stop saying "Don't bite the hand that feeds you." 1.2623 0.04771 122 95 22 5
2129 You're always getting caught red-handed. 1.2623 0.04771 122 95 22 5
2130 Only you would interpret this as clawing your way to the top 1.2623 0.04627 122 94 24 4
2131 I suppose it IS better than going blind. 1.2623 0.04771 122 95 22 5
2132 I sure hope that claw back provision in or contract is revocable. 1.2623 0.04478 122 93 26 3
2133 Great, we'll never have lunch with Poseidon again. 1.2623 0.05047 122 97 18 7
2134 Look at the bright side 1.2623 0.04771 122 95 22 5
2135 Why so angry? I thought I was your lobster. 1.2623 0.04842 122 98 17 7
2136 I know why I'm crabby. What's your excuse? 1.2623 0.04911 122 96 20 6
2137 Do you really think this will help you claw your way to the top? 1.2623 0.04771 122 95 22 5
2138 I thought you meant you were in a bad mood. 1.2623 0.04627 122 94 24 4
2139 Pinch, pinch, pinch-- all you do is pinch. 1.2623 0.04324 122 92 28 2
2140 I refuse to wear the tail, at least not in public. 1.2623 0.04771 122 95 22 5
2141 This is the last year you're entering The Dumbest Mittens Contest. 1.2623 0.04771 122 95 22 5
2142 That story about where you were is pretty fishy. 1.2623 0.04911 122 96 20 6
2143 Oh, I'M a little crabby? 1.2623 0.04771 122 95 22 5
2144 You'll do anything to get out of paying the check! 1.2623 0.04478 122 93 26 3
2145 Okay I get it. No holding hands in public. 1.2623 0.04627 122 94 24 4
2146 Get a grip pal, your casual butt pinching days are over with those new gloves I got you. 1.2623 0.05047 122 97 18 7
2147 You can be so shellfish sometimes. 1.2623 0.04771 122 95 22 5
2148 No, you can lie about your age and weight online, not about having claws for hands. 1.2623 0.05180 122 98 16 8
2149 Yeah, pretty sure the patent's in the bag, David. I'd be more concerned about not having a single sale in over two years on pincerpowerbadass.com. 1.2623 0.04771 122 95 22 5
2150 I don't care if it was unintentional. A vasectomy is a vasectomy. 1.2623 0.05047 122 97 18 7
2151 Oh please. I'm not the one who's crabby. 1.2623 0.04627 122 94 24 4
2152 Would it have killed you to get a doggie bag? 1.2623 0.04911 122 96 20 6
2153 Did you just crab my ass? 1.2623 0.04771 122 95 22 5
2154 Why didn't you tell me high cholesterol runs in your family? 1.2623 0.04771 122 95 22 5
2155 This makes no sense at all , Larry. 1.2623 0.04771 122 95 22 5
2156 Unlike my brother Edward, I can pass airline security check 1.2623 0.05435 122 100 12 10
2157 Stop saying you don't have a phone, that's ridiculous. 1.2619 0.05062 126 101 17 8
2158 I wish we had gotten the chicken. 1.2619 0.04805 126 99 21 6
2159 Didn't I tell you to keep your claws to yourself. 1.2619 0.04533 126 97 25 4
2160 Okay, my mother was crabby. You didn't need to grab her like that. 1.2619 0.04671 126 98 23 5
2161 So does this mean our flute duets are over? 1.2619 0.04805 126 99 21 6
2162 Don’t take it personally, some people just don’t like being hugged. 1.2619 0.04671 126 98 23 5
2163 Unique doesn't cut it when you can't tie your own shoes. 1.2619 0.04671 126 98 23 5
2164 Just to be clear, we are never going out for lobster again 1.2619 0.04935 126 100 19 7
2165 My friends warned me about you. 1.2605 0.04842 119 93 21 5
2166 There must be less conspicuous ways to give up texting. 1.2605 0.04693 119 92 23 4
2167 Don’t worry, when she turned you into a newt you got better... 1.2605 0.04842 119 93 21 5
2168 Dinner was going fine until one of us couldn't stop dipping our claws in the melted butter. 1.2605 0.04693 119 92 23 4
2169 I'm not selfish! You're shellfish! 1.2605 0.04987 119 94 19 6
2170 Behave or I'll put the rubberbands back on! 1.2605 0.04842 119 93 21 5
2171 Oh now we're in a pinch. 1.2605 0.03951 119 94 20 4
2172 Is it contagious? 1.2605 0.04693 119 92 23 4
2173 NO I don't carry butter in my purse! 1.2605 0.04693 119 92 23 4
2174 I don't care what you say, the dishwater was too hot. 1.2605 0.04539 119 91 25 3
2175 And you never text me anymore! 1.2605 0.04693 119 92 23 4
2176 Well, that's still no reason to snap at me! 1.2605 0.04693 119 92 23 4
2177 NO... I will not wear a bib when I kiss you! 1.2605 0.04693 119 92 23 4
2178 Drawn butter! Drawn butter! Everything with you is drawn butter! 1.2605 0.04379 119 90 27 2
2179 Okay, well I didn't see the claws in our prenuptial agreement. 1.2605 0.04842 119 93 21 5
2180 yep. I have a "sweeet" tail too 1.2605 0.04987 119 94 19 6
2181 Me crabby? You should talk! 1.2605 0.04987 119 94 19 6
2182 Daddy warned me about men with hands like an octopus, but never this! 1.2605 0.04693 119 92 23 4
2183 Next time, try standing outside under a FULL moon. 1.2605 0.04842 119 93 21 5
2184 Your. profile said you were a blueboood, but I wasn’t expecting this! 1.2605 0.04693 119 92 23 4
2185 If I'm clamming up then just what do you call what you're doing? 1.2605 0.04539 119 91 25 3
2186 Well, I use sunblock, and my hands aren't red. 1.2605 0.04693 119 92 23 4
2187 Look I was fine with the claws until you took me to meet your family. 1.2605 0.04987 119 94 19 6
2188 How many stores do we have to go to before we find mittens you like? 1.2605 0.04213 119 89 29 1
2189 No! We are NOT serving lobster rolls at our wedding reception. 1.2605 0.04128 119 96 18 5
2190 You asked me to differentiate myself 1.2605 0.04842 119 93 21 5
2191 When you said you had to claw your way to the top, you weren't kidding. 1.2605 0.04693 119 92 23 4
2192 Actually, Mark, I believe you CAN help pinching the waitress' butt. 1.2605 0.04842 119 93 21 5
2193 Next time, bring me a pair. I look like an idiot! 1.2605 0.05128 119 95 17 7
2194 You know, you're really starting to come out of your shell 1.2605 0.04693 119 92 23 4
2195 I would have preferred the tail. 1.2605 0.05128 119 95 17 7
2196 Do you wear those to bed too? 1.2605 0.04987 119 94 19 6
2197 Empathy is not looking like them when you eat them. 1.2605 0.05399 119 97 13 9
2198 How many times did I tell you not to go snorkeling in Fukushima? 1.2605 0.04987 119 94 19 6
2199 I thought I'd finally caught you red handed! 1.2605 0.04213 119 89 29 1
2200 It’s my hair, isn’t it? 1.2605 0.04987 119 94 19 6
2201 All right, you win, sorry I called you crabby 1.2605 0.04842 119 93 21 5
2202 Don't you dare get snappy with me! 1.2605 0.04693 119 92 23 4
2203 I feel you. 1.2605 0.04987 119 94 19 6
2204 ‘Are you feeling any less crabby?’ 1.2605 0.05265 119 96 15 8
2205 Don't think you can just claw your way to the top, mister. 1.2605 0.05265 119 96 15 8
2206 How come they never have claws in my size? 1.2605 0.04379 119 90 27 2
2207 … yeah, but after his radioactive arthropod bite, he could climb walls and wound up with a fantastic movie contract. 1.2605 0.04987 119 94 19 6
2208 They're part of a plea bargain? Why not just register as a sex offender? 1.2605 0.04379 119 90 27 2
2209 What's the point of having claws if you can't help me out when I'm in a pinch? 1.2605 0.04842 119 93 21 5
2210 I can open my own jars, thank you. 1.2605 0.04539 119 91 25 3
2211 I guess now you’ll have to wear those clothes forever. 1.2605 0.04987 119 94 19 6
2212 You just have to accept the fact that pinching is not a superpower. 1.2605 0.04693 119 92 23 4
2213 No, dear, I do NOT have clawstrophobia. 1.2605 0.04987 119 94 19 6
2214 Do you have to be SO shellfish? 1.2605 0.05128 119 95 17 7
2215 I don't care if it helps your knees. You need to lay off Chondroitin. 1.2605 0.04379 119 90 27 2
2216 I'm disgusted with how my parents treated you at dinner. I knew they were a bit racist, but their clawstrophobia surprised me. 1.2605 0.04693 119 92 23 4
2217 I'm sick and tired of catching you red-handed. 1.2605 0.04693 119 92 23 4
2218 Yes, my friends in New England adore you, and you never seem to age. But I just can’t get past the fact that you’re a heartless crustacean.” 1.2605 0.05265 119 96 15 8
2219 No, you won't be clawing your way back into my heart. 1.2586 0.04435 116 88 26 2
2220 What else did the hospital say about the witchdoctor's curse? 1.2586 0.04916 116 91 20 5
2221 I wish we had never moved to Brooklyn. 1.2586 0.05066 116 92 18 6
2222 You said on the dating app your NAME was Claude. 1.2586 0.04916 116 91 20 5
2223 That’s the LAST time we go to Red Lobster. 1.2586 0.04916 116 91 20 5
2224 I had to ask for the biggest one in the tank. 1.2586 0.04761 116 90 22 4
2225 Well, that's certainly the last time I'll ask you to unzip my best ball gown 1.2586 0.04916 116 91 20 5
2226 You didn't have to snap at the waiter like that 1.2586 0.04916 116 91 20 5
2227 Last time I’m going glove shopping with you. 1.2586 0.04435 116 88 26 2
2228 I asked you not to wear the jeans shorts. 1.2586 0.04839 116 93 17 6
2229 I will never ask you again to come with me to an audition! 1.2586 0.04435 116 88 26 2
2230 That's the last time you're ordering the lobster. 1.2586 0.04916 116 91 20 5
2231 I'm sorry Michael, but I'm getting pretty tired of your hermit lifestyle. 1.2586 0.04916 116 91 20 5
2232 This is what you get for not reading Yelp reviews beforehand. 1.2586 0.05212 116 93 16 7
2233 It's always the same with your mother–"When are you going to settle down and move to Maine?" 1.2586 0.04601 116 89 24 3
2234 As if your claws weren't noticeable enough - you've now gone used all my nail polish!! 1.2586 0.04601 116 89 24 3
2235 If you don't want to hold hands in public, just say so! 1.2586 0.04916 116 91 20 5
2236 I thought you said you got tested when we met. 1.2586 0.04435 116 88 26 2
2237 You are such a penny pincher, John. 1.2586 0.04435 116 88 26 2
2238 She was dreading the moment the date moved to the bedroom. 1.2586 0.04601 116 89 24 3
2239 Pinch my ass, really? 1.2586 0.05066 116 92 18 6
2240 I just thought the hot butter was over the top. 1.2586 0.04601 116 89 24 3
2241 I don’t know, Dave, you just seem a lot more clingy lately. 1.2586 0.04601 116 89 24 3
2242 I KNOW you said you were in a band, but... 1.2586 0.04601 116 89 24 3
2243 You may be neurotic, but at least you're not all hands. 1.2586 0.04761 116 90 22 4
2244 Why are you so crabby today? 1.2586 0.05066 116 92 18 6
2245 Yes, it's #MeToo shaming. just behave yourself. 1.2586 0.04761 116 90 22 4
2246 You’re a hot mess Rob. I’m going to need a bib. 1.2586 0.05212 116 93 16 7
2247 You need to get a grip. 1.2586 0.04435 116 88 26 2
2248 No, my dad was not impressed with your firm handshake. 1.2586 0.04761 116 90 22 4
2249 I miss foreplay. 1.2586 0.04916 116 91 20 5
2250 I suppose it beats "I forgot my wallet"... 1.2586 0.04601 116 89 24 3
2251 Why are you upset? I'm the one who should be in a crabby mood! 1.2586 0.05212 116 93 16 7
2252 You really need to read the description of the Specials more carefully. 1.2586 0.05212 116 93 16 7
2253 Your turning into someone I hardly recognize. 1.2586 0.04435 116 88 26 2
2254 Pinch me! I must be dreaming! 1.2586 0.04761 116 90 22 4
2255 I'm steaming mad. 1.2586 0.04601 116 89 24 3
2256 You told me the will had a clause for you. 1.2586 0.04601 116 89 24 3
2257 Did you have to tell my mother that I bring out the crustacean in you like nobody else? 1.2586 0.04601 116 89 24 3
2258 Don't you snap your fingers at me, mister! 1.2586 0.04916 116 91 20 5
2259 How vain of that shrimp saying that you claud at her! 1.2586 0.05066 116 92 18 6
2260 Just to be clear, going to Red Lobster was your idea. 1.2586 0.04435 116 88 26 2
2261 Everything with you is one step forward and two steps back. 1.2586 0.04761 116 90 22 4
2262 I can't believe the Fightin Lobsters turned the ball over in the 4th. 1.2586 0.04916 116 91 20 5
2263 Ugh, at the very least, you could've shaved. 1.2586 0.03798 116 92 21 3
2264 I love you, but no more affectionate pinches on the butt 1.2586 0.04916 116 91 20 5
2265 What am I suppose to think when you could have opted for ankle bracelet monitoring? 1.2586 0.04601 116 89 24 3
2266 I TOLD you Allison was allergic to seafood! 1.2586 0.04601 116 89 24 3
2267 I understand it's a Maine thing, but we live in New York. 1.2586 0.04601 116 89 24 3
2268 I hate when you snap your fingers at me. 1.2586 0.04761 116 90 22 4
2269 Would it kill you to lend a hand once in a while? 1.2586 0.04916 116 91 20 5
2270 Having your tail done before your claws is pure vanity. 1.2586 0.04761 116 90 22 4
2271 If it's cold enough for your fancy mittens, put on long pants. 1.2586 0.04601 116 89 24 3
2272 You had to stir the pot, didn't you? 1.2586 0.04435 116 88 26 2
2273 No, I told you. I can't go to dinner with you. I'm Jewish! 1.2586 0.05354 116 94 14 8
2274 Okay but I'm not wearing the bib. 1.2586 0.04435 116 88 26 2
2275 You idiot! I said "frustration" not "crustacean"! 1.2586 0.04761 116 90 22 4
2276 eHarmony spelled it "Claude", dammit. 1.2586 0.04435 116 88 26 2
2277 I should have asked for a full body pic before swiping right... 1.2586 0.04916 116 91 20 5
2278 and you think I am a crab... 1.2586 0.04761 116 90 22 4
2279 Gosh, I thought this will be some romantic outing. If you don't want to hold my hand, just say so! 1.2586 0.04761 116 90 22 4
2280 Don't be like Melania! 1.2586 0.04916 116 91 20 5
2281 Yes dear, I said that I loved lobster, but not the masquerading kind! 1.2586 0.05212 116 93 16 7
2282 We're never going back to that sushi restaurant again. 1.2586 0.05212 116 93 16 7
2283 Bigger is not better 1.2586 0.04761 116 90 22 4
2284 I can do crabby just as well as you without the paraphernalia. 1.2586 0.04601 116 89 24 3
2285 For the last time, I don't want a back rub. 1.2586 0.04761 116 90 22 4
2286 You should have just taken the to-go box. 1.2586 0.04435 116 88 26 2
2287 But I told you I would be no good with chopsticks. 1.2586 0.04601 116 89 24 3
2288 I caught you... 1.2586 0.05354 116 94 14 8
2289 That wasn’t the clause they were referring to. 1.2586 0.05066 116 92 18 6
2290 You're just mad because I look good. 1.2586 0.04761 116 90 22 4
2291 I still think you should have gone with the Santa claws. 1.2586 0.05066 116 92 18 6
2292 It's not you, it's me. I'm allergic to shellfish. 1.2586 0.05066 116 92 18 6
2293 You can't even carry my shopping bags 1.2586 0.04601 116 89 24 3
2294 I said selfish, not shellfish. 1.2586 0.04916 116 91 20 5
2295 Planning on clawing your way to the top? 1.2586 0.05492 116 95 12 9
2296 I just can’t take these snap decisions. 1.2586 0.04601 116 89 24 3
2297 Well, I think the surgery was a success. 1.2586 0.04916 116 91 20 5
2298 I can't believe you ate your half-brother 1.2586 0.04761 116 90 22 4
2299 When we were dating I liked being pinched, but it's getting old. 1.2586 0.04601 116 89 24 3
2300 You could've just bought the flippers. 1.2586 0.04435 116 88 26 2
2301 You could have mentioned that you self identify as a crustacean. 1.2586 0.04761 116 90 22 4
2302 You don't have to be so crabby all the time. 1.2586 0.04761 116 90 22 4
2303 Well, you were right. You said this time you wouldn't end up half man half fly. 1.2586 0.05212 116 93 16 7
2304 Well I’d love to try that new steakhouse if you weren’t such a penny pincer 1.2586 0.05066 116 92 18 6
2305 Jerry, the issue isn’t that you couldn’t find it... 1.2586 0.05212 116 93 16 7
2306 You look like a scavenger! 1.2586 0.04601 116 89 24 3
2307 You’ve changed since we first met 1.2586 0.04263 116 87 28 1
2308 I don’t know why you’re offended. I said “keep your paws off me” 1.2586 0.04916 116 91 20 5
2309 You ate a whole Maine lobster in record time and so it was free. We all get it, Larry. 1.2586 0.05066 116 92 18 6
2310 Right now I could see you with melted butter. 1.2586 0.04601 116 89 24 3
2311 No, a "pair of ragged claws" don't make you seem literate at all. 1.2586 0.05627 116 96 10 10
2312 I can't wait to watch you pee..... 1.2586 0.05212 116 93 16 7
2313 Well we’re definitely getting you a pedicure somewhere else! 1.2586 0.05212 116 93 16 7
2314 I thought you’d do in a pinch. 1.2586 0.04916 116 91 20 5
2315 I’m still not having you over for dinner 1.2586 0.04601 116 89 24 3
2316 OK, “Sea monster” crossed the line, But you were rather snappy 1.2586 0.05066 116 92 18 6
2317 I'm not really comfortable with PDA... 1.2586 0.04916 116 91 20 5
2318 Yes, I'm steamed! I thought you'd be an authority on that. 1.2586 0.04601 116 89 24 3
2319 I told you you'd turn into a lobster if you didn't wear sunscreen. 1.2586 0.04435 116 88 26 2
2320 If you didn't want to hold my hand you should have just said. 1.2586 0.04601 116 89 24 3
2321 And you wait until now to tell me that you can't use chop-sticks? 1.2586 0.05212 116 93 16 7
2322 Just remember to keep your hands to yourself! 1.2586 0.04916 116 91 20 5
2323 No, I will not hold your hand. 1.2586 0.04761 116 90 22 4
2324 Like I said, I’ve already asked my parents to leave the hot tub covered during our visit this year. 1.2586 0.04916 116 91 20 5
2325 I keep telling you that you need to come out of your shell. 1.2586 0.05066 116 92 18 6
2326 It's not you, it's me. . .and that I hate your claws. 1.2586 0.04916 116 91 20 5
2327 And you are a penny pincher too 1.2586 0.05212 116 93 16 7
2328 Why do you always have to ask for melted butter? 1.2586 0.05066 116 92 18 6
2329 Think you are going a little overboard to crack this case 1.2586 0.04263 116 87 28 1
2330 I'm sorry, Dave, but we're having you de-clawed. 1.2586 0.05066 116 91 18 6
2331 ...and I’m sick of you always saying that you’ll get things done “in a pinch.” 1.2586 0.05066 116 92 18 6
2332 That went poorly--why did you have to shake my dad's hand? 1.2586 0.04435 116 88 26 2
2333 You could have sent one picture from the wrist down. 1.2586 0.05066 116 92 18 6
2334 You never give me a hand. 1.2586 0.04761 116 90 22 4
2335 It’s not contagious. 1.2586 0.04601 116 89 24 3
2336 I can't just claw my way to the top like you did. 1.2586 0.04761 116 90 22 4
2337 No, this is just a first date. I don’t think we should hold hands. 1.2586 0.04761 116 90 22 4
2338 I guess no bowling today ! 1.2586 0.04601 116 89 24 3
2339 Pinch me again and I’ll pound you. 1.2586 0.05212 116 93 16 7
2340 It's me or the kelp granules. 1.2586 0.05212 116 93 16 7
2341 Just be grateful I removed the rubber bands. 1.2586 0.04601 116 89 24 3
2342 I just wish you could stop being so shellfish. 1.2586 0.04761 116 90 22 4
2343 You can sing that Beatle song all you want Bob, it isn’t going to happen. 1.2586 0.04761 116 90 22 4
2344 That wasn't in your profile 1.2583 0.04659 120 93 23 4
2345 I wouldn't be crabby if you weren't wearing your claws. 1.2583 0.04807 120 94 21 5
2346 I thought you would be a peel-and-eat-shrimp sort of guy. 1.2583 0.04506 120 92 25 3
2347 I date mobsters, not lobsters. 1.2583 0.05090 120 96 17 7
2348 Picky, picky, picky! 1.2583 0.04807 120 94 21 5
2349 Ragged claws, scuttling the floors of silent seas,” my ass 1.2583 0.04807 120 94 21 5
2350 Why are you always snapping at me? 1.2583 0.04807 120 94 21 5
2351 Keep your filthy claws off of me! 1.2583 0.04506 120 92 25 3
2352 And you didn't even wear a bib. 1.2583 0.04348 120 91 27 2
2353 Told you we should have used “protection.” 1.2583 0.04506 120 92 25 3
2354 I should have been a subordinate clause, scuttling across a silent street. 1.2583 0.05225 120 97 15 8
2355 No, your profile said you had “an active imagination”, not “hands of a crustacean.” 1.2583 0.04506 120 92 25 3
2356 Climate control, schlimate control, moving to Maine is not an option. 1.2583 0.04659 120 93 23 4
2357 Something smells fishy. Are you cheating on me? 1.2583 0.05090 120 96 17 7
2358 I’m not picky, but you gave me maybe the worst massage ever. 1.2583 0.04506 120 92 25 3
2359 If you try to pet another dog, I'm buying some giant rubber bands. 1.2583 0.04013 120 94 23 3
2360 You dripped cocktail sauce on my dress. 1.2583 0.04950 120 95 19 6
2361 You and your excuses. 1.2583 0.04950 120 95 19 6
2362 It was this or our first born, Linda 1.2583 0.04348 120 91 27 2
2363 Did I ever tell you about that time I used to work at a walnut factory? 1.2583 0.04659 120 93 23 4
2364 You forced me to sit through a labor law lecture just so you could stand up and make a lame 'noncompete claws' joke? 1.2583 0.04950 120 95 19 6
2365 I don't mind the shorts, but couldn't you at least where a button down shirt. 1.2583 0.04659 120 93 23 4
2366 What makes you think the FDA drug approval process is compromised? 1.2583 0.05090 120 96 17 7
2367 Ralph,when you took the rubber bands off; I thought you wanted to hold my hand! 1.2583 0.04807 120 94 21 5
2368 See, I told you my mother doesn’t like East Coasters. 1.2583 0.04506 120 92 25 3
2369 From now on my G-Spot is off limits to you, Bud. 1.2583 0.04807 120 94 21 5
2370 I said I preferred you when you were cloying. 1.2583 0.04807 120 94 21 5
2371 I don't care what the therapist said, you've got to wear those rubber bands at night! 1.2583 0.04659 120 93 23 4
2372 Yes I'm aware that they made a movie about Edward Scissorhands. 1.2583 0.04506 120 92 25 3
2373 You just don't hold me the way you use to. 1.2583 0.04659 120 93 23 4
2374 One issue is that I love to hold hands. 1.2583 0.04950 120 95 19 6
2375 Pinch someone else, loverboy. 1.2583 0.04099 120 97 18 5
2376 It just seems a bit shellfish to me. 1.2583 0.04659 120 93 23 4
2377 Goosing women is still wrong if you use those, buddy. 1.2583 0.04506 120 92 25 3
2378 Well, pardon me, but I thought you said you were a lawyer who worked with mobster laws..." 1.2583 0.05090 120 96 17 7
2379 No, actually, I do not read David Foster Wallace. 1.2583 0.04807 120 94 21 5
2380 Well that was an interesting massage. 1.2583 0.04659 120 93 23 4
2381 Sorry Fred, I don't think this is going to work. I'm allergic to Shellfish 1.2583 0.04807 120 94 21 5
2382 I wanted to go to Florida, but you had to insist on Maine. 1.2583 0.04659 120 93 23 4
2383 It's not you, I just prefer tails. 1.2583 0.04506 120 92 25 3
2384 I just wish you told you me about the procedure before I got you those nice leather gloves for your birthday. 1.2583 0.04659 120 93 23 4
2385 what do you mean we are meeting your family at Red Lobster? 1.2583 0.04950 120 95 19 6
2386 It’s a strange way to tell me that you can’t use your credit card this weekend for my shopping! 1.2583 0.04807 120 94 21 5
2387 I AM––I am keeping my paws off of you. 1.2583 0.04506 120 92 25 3
2388 At least you don’t have clammy hands. 1.2583 0.05090 120 96 17 7
2389 I don’t think I’m being unreasonable because I refuse to wear the bib in bed. 1.2583 0.05090 120 96 17 7
2390 I knew there was something fishy about your dating profile 1.2583 0.04659 120 93 23 4
2391 I just wish you could have dressed a little better to meet my Mother. 1.2583 0.05090 120 96 17 7
2392 It's not my fault. They're not retractable. 1.2583 0.05358 120 98 13 9
2393 They better be oven-mitts and not mutations. 1.2583 0.04659 120 93 23 4
2394 How's the moiel business? 1.2583 0.05090 120 96 17 7
2395 It’s just that every time we see Janet and Ted, the claws come out. 1.2583 0.04183 120 90 29 1
2396 When I asked you to shake his hand in a snap, I did not expect you to cut it off. 1.2583 0.04733 120 96 18 6
2397 I'm not willing to give up surf and turf for you. 1.2583 0.04807 120 94 21 5
2398 ...And here I told my mother that you'd graduated from law school 1.2583 0.04659 120 93 23 4
2399 Yeah, your profile said you are from Maine. 1.2583 0.04659 120 93 23 4
2400 I just wish you'd let me order lobster once in a while. 1.2583 0.04348 120 91 27 2
2401 From now on, if anyone calls them claws instead of pincers, just suck it up. 1.2583 0.04348 120 91 27 2
2402 Couldn't you have, at least, worn trousers for our special occasion? 1.2583 0.05090 120 96 17 7
2403 You were paying attention to the pretty one in the lobster tank than you did me. 1.2583 0.04807 120 94 21 5
2404 Yes, you do pinch me in your sleep! 1.2583 0.04183 120 95 21 4
2405 You couldn't be happy just going by Rob? No, everyone has to call you 'The Robster.' 1.2583 0.04950 120 95 19 6
2406 I can’t believe you even said, ‘There’s no way that’s contagious.’” 1.2583 0.05090 120 96 17 7
2407 Don't think you can claw your way back into my heart. 1.2583 0.04807 120 94 21 5
2408 For the last time, I'm NOT going to wear a mermaid tail!!! 1.2583 0.04183 120 90 29 1
2409 You know I have an allergy, and yet you still gave in to your shellfish desires. 1.2583 0.04950 120 95 19 6
2410 Let me see you claw your way out of this situation 1.2583 0.04659 120 93 23 4
2411 Yes, he's my boss, but you shouldn't have shaken his hand. 1.2583 0.04807 120 94 21 5
2412 At least I only "At least I only ACT crabby" 1.2583 0.05090 120 96 17 7
2413 What angers me is the way you handle everything so carelessly" 1.2583 0.04950 120 95 19 6
2414 Look, I just feel there would have been other ways to get out of washing the dishes. 1.2583 0.04659 120 93 23 4
2415 Oh, so I should have just GUESSED that the Red Lobster waitress was also a Gypsy??? 1.2583 0.04807 120 94 21 5
2416 I have never been so embarrassed, all you had to do was place the ring on my finger. 1.2583 0.04348 120 91 27 2
2417 Would you mind if we kept more of an arms length relationship? 1.2583 0.04807 120 94 21 5
2418 You need to put the rubber bands back on. That guy you shook hands with might sue." 1.2583 0.04659 120 93 23 4
2419 It's fine, I guess walnuts are just more important than me. 1.2583 0.04807 120 94 21 5
2420 Very funny. When I said to keep your paws off me I meant it categorically! 1.2583 0.04659 120 93 23 4
2421 I can't believe you gave me crabs." 1.2583 0.04950 120 95 19 6
2422 I just wish I hadn't caught you. 1.2566 0.04993 113 89 19 5
2423 Just once you could meet someone and not say "Let's shake on it!" 1.2564 0.04567 117 90 24 3
2424 We'll settle this over dinner. 1.2542 0.04371 118 90 26 2
2425 And another thing. When we talk about money stop referring to dollars as clams. 1.2542 0.04690 118 92 22 4
2426 Yeah? well my pussy's market price, and there's a 45 minute wait. 1.2542 0.05133 118 95 16 7
2427 Just keep your claws to yourself! 1.2542 0.04371 118 90 26 2
2428 Simmer down? Can't you sea I'm crabby because you're being shellfish? 1.2542 0.05133 118 95 16 7
2429 After dating for six months, I thought you were ready for a more intimate physical relationship. I was wrong. 1.2542 0.04990 118 94 18 6
2430 The last time we held hands I lost a finger. 1.2542 0.04690 118 92 22 4
2431 So, how'd you manage the right swipe? I should have known your profile was too good to be true... 1.2542 0.04533 118 91 24 3
2432 Enough of your Method acting. Ted was just trying to shake hands. 1.2542 0.04990 118 94 18 6
2433 A free wish and you go with lobster claws? 1.2542 0.04842 118 93 20 5
2434 You're behaving so shellfishly 1.2542 0.05272 118 96 14 8
2435 Those stupid lobster pills were supposed to improve your memory. 1.2542 0.05133 118 95 16 7
2436 No! I'm not going to go home and put butter on your claws... I have a headache. 1.2542 0.05133 118 95 16 7
2437 It's not that I don't like you personally Jonathan, it's just that I've finally decided to go kosher. 1.2542 0.04202 118 89 28 1
2438 So you clawed your way to the top. I'm supposed to be impressed? 1.2542 0.04690 118 92 22 4
2439 I told you to stop pinching me! 1.2542 0.04690 118 92 22 4
2440 Your clawing days are over, buddy! 1.2542 0.04990 118 94 18 6
2441 Any court in the land would agree with me, it's never just a "little pinch"! 1.2542 0.04690 118 92 22 4
2442 Your back rubs are terrible now. 1.2542 0.05133 118 95 16 7
2443 For a free consultation call 1-800-LOBSTER-HANDS. Operators are standing by. 1.2542 0.04842 118 93 20 5
2444 So, what? You aren't going to hold my hand? 1.2542 0.04202 118 89 28 1
2445 Is it too much to ask that you--just once--touch me without clawing at me!? 1.2542 0.04842 118 93 20 5
2446 I'm done with snapchat. 1.2542 0.04690 118 92 22 4
2447 Damn that auto-correct! On my dating profile I typed that I secretly like ‘mobster’ -types, not ‘lobster’-types. 1.2542 0.05272 118 96 14 8
2448 I bet if I'd pinched YOUR ass at the party you'd have scream, too! 1.2542 0.04990 118 94 18 6
2449 Using a little moisturizer wouldn't kill you. 1.2542 0.04026 118 88 30 0
2450 My therapist thinks there should be less foreplay. 1.2542 0.04533 118 91 24 3
2451 Your profile on Bumble said you had clammy hands. 1.2542 0.04371 118 90 26 2
2452 I told you not to wear red! 1.2542 0.04533 118 91 24 3
2453 Trying to claw your way back into my heart isn't working. 1.2542 0.05133 118 95 16 7
2454 Didn't I tell you not to shake my father's hand so hard. 1.2542 0.04690 118 92 22 4
2455 Butterfingers! 1.2542 0.04533 118 91 24 3
2456 Well, who's stopping you from scuttling across the ocean floor? 1.2542 0.04690 118 92 22 4
2457 I know, I know... you identify as a lobster. But can you stop pinching me then? 1.2542 0.04842 118 93 20 5
2458 I will say this: your Tinder photo was artfully cropped. 1.2542 0.04533 118 91 24 3
2459 They keep me from biting my nails. 1.2542 0.04842 118 93 20 5
2460 Oh yeah, I'm going to show you a real slow boil. 1.2542 0.04990 118 94 18 6
2461 Darling, I told you I was strickly Kosher. 1.2542 0.04842 118 93 20 5
2462 Okay, okay. We should have gone to Maine on vacation. Now let it go. 1.2542 0.04690 118 92 22 4
2463 I said I wanted a prenuptial clause. You never listen. 1.2542 0.04990 118 94 18 6
2464 Fine, nothing but a bib, birthday boy. 1.2542 0.04533 118 91 24 3
2465 You had one wish and you had to be a Flamenco artist? 1.2542 0.04990 118 94 18 6
2466 You really need a better superhero name than lobster man. 1.2542 0.04533 118 91 24 3
2467 You always turn into a crab when I take you shopping. 1.2542 0.04842 118 93 20 5
2468 I guess I understand, but I still think it's rude that you don't open doors for me. 1.2542 0.04533 118 91 24 3
2469 You always have to make a show! I mean, who cuts up spaghetti?!! 1.2542 0.04842 118 93 20 5
2470 Wish I could figure out how you were able to post your profile on Tinder 1.2542 0.04990 118 94 18 6
2471 Yes, they look delicious, but I still won't go to the Halloween party as "Dish of Melted Butter." 1.2542 0.04690 118 92 22 4
2472 So long as it's not crabs, do you wanna Netflix and chill tonight? 1.2542 0.04690 118 92 22 4
2473 I told you not to grow that beard! 1.2542 0.05133 118 95 16 7
2474 I was prepared for 'middle crisis" to mean an affair or a corvette, but this? 1.2542 0.04842 118 93 20 5
2475 I do love Lobster Thermidor, but I still won't marry you! 1.2542 0.04533 118 91 24 3
2476 That was my sister. I told you to keep your claws off her. 1.2542 0.04690 118 92 22 4
2477 Why would I marry someone named Larry 1.2542 0.05272 118 96 14 8
2478 Not only were you handsy, you drew blood. 1.2542 0.04842 118 93 20 5
2479 You might want to forget about going to dental school. 1.2542 0.04842 118 93 20 5
2480 I’m about to snap. 1.2523 0.04868 111 87 20 4
2481 You're extremely irritating when you get crabby. 1.2522 0.04916 115 91 19 5
2482 From now on, just say, ‘Nice to meet you’, okay? 1.2522 0.04426 115 88 25 2
2483 It’s not Kafkaesque, it’s just annoying and I’m not the one that’s snapping. 1.2522 0.04596 115 89 23 3
2484 You just aren't happy unless you have your claws in everything. 1.2522 0.04596 115 89 23 3
2485 Yes, I know they're cheaper in the summer, but I am certainly not going to spend my entire day shopping for winter gloves. 1.2522 0.04759 115 90 21 4
2486 With the cost of EpiPens, I just don't think this relationship is going to work. 1.2522 0.04251 115 87 27 1
2487 My codependent therapist is going to eat this up. 1.2522 0.04596 115 89 23 3
2488 At least my ex only had clammy hands 1.2522 0.04759 115 90 21 4
2489 You're a nice guy and all, but I think I need someone with opposable thumbs." Anders Bengtson, Minneapolis, MN 1.2522 0.04426 115 88 25 2
2490 Yes, I bought a new handbag. One handbag. How many sweaters have you ruined the sleeves of *this week*?" 1.2522 0.04512 115 91 20 4
2491 I warned you not to order the GMO lobster. 1.2522 0.04916 115 91 19 5
2492 Your pictures on Bumble were very misleading. 1.2522 0.04759 115 90 21 4
2493 Just because I said they make me want to dip you in butter doesn't mean you have to wear them everywhere. 1.2522 0.04916 115 91 19 5
2494 Maybe the hot tub will put me in the mood. 1.2522 0.04426 115 88 25 2
2495 You've changed. You weren't always this crabby. 1.2522 0.04916 115 91 19 5
2496 Are you serious? You are in a movie called “Edward Lobster-hands”! 1.2522 0.04759 115 90 21 4
2497 Try not to shake hands when you meet my parents. 1.2522 0.04759 115 90 21 4
2498 You know, when they say "Lobstafest", it's about the food. 1.2522 0.04596 115 89 23 3
2499 I suppose I have to send all the holiday cards again this year? 1.2522 0.04596 115 89 23 3
2500 You pinch me one more time with those stupid claws of yours and I’ll be having some drawn butter with them. 1.2522 0.04596 115 89 23 3
2501 Eating with your hands goes beyond the pale... 1.2522 0.04596 115 89 23 3
2502 I know you hate them, but the rubber bands are there for a reason. 1.2522 0.04916 115 91 19 5
2503 You'll never be EDWARD !!! 1.2522 0.04759 115 90 21 4
2504 All I said was, let's go for sushi. 1.2522 0.04596 115 89 23 3
2505 Michael, I do not accept that you were transformed by our summer vacation in Maine. 1.2522 0.04596 115 89 23 3
2506 I thought you said your research wouldn't have any negative effects. 1.2522 0.04759 115 90 21 4
2507 Don't get snappy with me 1.2522 0.04596 115 89 23 3
2508 I get it, you think I’m crabby... 1.2522 0.04596 115 89 23 3
2509 That outfit says "I've clawed my way to the bottom." 1.2522 0.05502 115 95 11 9
2510 Really? Your justification is 'They're not crab hands, they're lobster hands...' 1.2522 0.04916 115 91 19 5
2511 Don't you dare snap at me! 1.2522 0.05362 115 94 13 8
2512 It's sort of difficult for me to fully explain Except, for the time being, I'd rather not hold hands with you. 1.2522 0.04067 115 86 29 0
2513 If you can't handle a puppy, how are we ever going to have kids? 1.2522 0.04426 115 88 25 2
2514 I thought you said "clause" not "claws." 1.2522 0.04916 115 91 19 5
2515 You should have told me you were lousy at bowling. Really! How hard is it to say, "Marg,! I'm all thumbs". 1.2522 0.04339 115 90 22 3
2516 I'm all in favor of you self-actualizing as a crustacean, but you really need to pay that woman's doctor bill. 1.2522 0.04916 115 91 19 5
2517 You're always so picky! 1.2522 0.04596 115 89 23 3
2518 I'm supposed to give up shellfish entirely because you THINK your great grandfather MAY have been a lobster? I want to see that 23andMe report. 1.2522 0.04916 115 91 19 5
2519 I don't care what all of your hipster friends are wearing, they look ridiculous. 1.2522 0.04426 115 88 25 2
2520 There is no such thing as LGBTCrustacean. 1.2522 0.04916 115 91 19 5
2521 I think you're missing the point of the Me Too movement. 1.2522 0.04596 115 89 23 3
2522 You can't say 'that could be my cousin' every time we eat at Red Lobster. 1.2522 0.04759 115 90 21 4
2523 Not only are they a turn-off, they are violation of the emoluments claws. 1.2522 0.04916 115 91 19 5
2524 Stop complaining! The jacuzzi was not too hot . 1.2522 0.05069 115 92 17 6
2525 Jeez, I said declawed-not neutered! 1.2522 0.04596 115 89 23 3
2526 Can you hail the taxi? 1.2522 0.04596 115 89 23 3
2527 Yeah... I get it, Claude. 1.2522 0.04916 115 91 19 5
2528 You enhance the wrong appendage dummy! 1.2522 0.05069 115 92 17 6
2529 I told ya, eating at Red Lobster's always costs a lot. 1.2522 0.04759 115 90 21 4
2530 If I only had a nutcracker... 1.2522 0.04759 115 90 21 4
2531 I'm a feminist, but I wish you could open your own doors. 1.2522 0.04759 115 90 21 4
2532 They could have told us they were allergic to shellfish before inviting us over. 1.2522 0.05069 115 92 17 6
2533 I think they already know you’re from Maine. 1.2522 0.04916 115 91 19 5
2534 Did I mention, my horoscope sign is Cancer. 1.2522 0.04916 115 91 19 5
2535 Now I know why all your Tinder photos were taken from the waist up. 1.2522 0.04426 115 88 25 2
2536 Look, keep your claws off of Pamela, or I’ll have to bring the rubber bands on again... 1.2522 0.05217 115 93 15 7
2537 When you're out in public you' re supposed to have to have the rubber bands on. 1.2522 0.04596 115 89 23 3
2538 How come we never hold hands? 1.2522 0.04759 115 90 21 4
2539 Your wooing tactics are a little heavy-handed. 1.2522 0.04916 115 91 19 5
2540 Just stay away from boiling water. 1.2522 0.04596 115 89 23 3
2541 I don't care how warm it's getting. We're not moving to Canada! 1.2522 0.05217 115 93 15 7
2542 You know there are less embarrassing ways to stop smoking. 1.2522 0.05362 115 94 13 8
2543 No Jerry, I think it is going to take more than gloves to help our relationship. 1.2522 0.04251 115 87 27 1
2544 There has to be a way for us to hold hands without you snapping at me. 1.2522 0.05217 115 93 15 7
2545 I guess I've just had it with your 'hands-off' approach to life. 1.2522 0.04426 115 88 25 2
2546 When I think that you cannot even swim! 1.2522 0.04759 115 90 21 4
2547 I’m getting tired of having sex with butter. 1.2522 0.04916 115 91 19 5
2548 If you're going to take my Alexander McQueen lobster claw heels to wear out, at least put them on your feet. 1.2522 0.04596 115 89 23 3
2549 The episode aired over twenty years ago, and besides, Ross was never even good for her. 1.2522 0.04426 115 88 25 2
2550 Who says "I should have been a pair of ragged claws. Scuttling across the floors of silent seas." to a GENIE? 1.2522 0.05069 115 92 17 6
2551 I need you to transfer out of research, and tell me the symptoms are reversible. 1.2522 0.04759 115 90 21 4
2552 Obviously, you just can't wait to get your claws into me. 1.2522 0.05217 115 93 15 7
2553 Botox is different! You are just being contrary Gary. 1.2522 0.04596 115 89 23 3
2554 Oh yea, you’ll tell me next your morphing into Santa Claws 1.2522 0.04759 115 90 21 4
2555 You just had to wave at your friends in front of my friends! 1.2522 0.04759 115 90 21 4
2556 And I'm the one who's being crabby? 1.2522 0.04916 115 91 19 5
2557 I don't care if they're your hands, you can't bring shellfish to a Hanukkah dinner. 1.2522 0.05069 115 92 17 6
2558 You should see my brother's. 1.2522 0.04916 115 91 19 5
2559 I don’t get it......Edward Scissorhands you loved! I thought “Cory Crab Claws” would thrill you! 1.2522 0.04759 115 90 21 4
2560 Why do you do this when we go for seafood? 1.2522 0.04916 115 91 19 5
2561 Well it looks like you're done. 1.2522 0.05069 115 92 17 6
2562 It wasn't polite for you to grab her by her exoskeleton. 1.2522 0.05069 115 92 17 6
2563 Snap at me again, Larry, and you'll really be in hot water! 1.2522 0.04916 115 91 19 5
2564 ”When the dating-app people warned me I might find an unusual clause or two, I guess I should have taken them more literally. 1.2522 0.04759 115 90 21 4
2565 When I said 'I'll have the lobster' this isn't what I meant. 1.2522 0.04916 115 91 19 5
2566 I kept telling you not to bite your nails, but -- no -- you wouldn't listen. 1.2522 0.04596 115 89 23 3
2567 You really know how to claw your way out of dinner with my parents 1.2522 0.04916 115 91 19 5
2568 That's not what they meant by "morality clause." 1.2522 0.04916 115 91 19 5
2569 When I suggested satiating your midlife crisis, I meant get a Harley or something. You KNOW that I'm kosher! 1.2522 0.04916 115 91 19 5
2570 If I’ve told you once I’ve told a million times, Don’t PINCH them! 1.2522 0.05217 115 93 15 7
2571 Jeez, some pro shop! You’d think that was the first time anyone asked them to drill holes in a bowling ball. 1.2522 0.04596 115 89 23 3
2572 You’ve hit rock bottom. I’m not giving you a hand this time. 1.2522 0.04596 115 89 23 3
2573 I couldn't see your hands on the dating site, but actually they're kind of cute. 1.2522 0.04916 115 91 19 5
2574 well, they keep growing back BIGGER! 1.2522 0.04596 115 89 23 3
2575 It's not going to work - I'm allergic to shellfish. 1.2522 0.04596 115 89 23 3
2576 For the last time, No! I will not go to your place to watch Deadliest Catch! 1.2522 0.04916 115 91 19 5
2577 Do that again and it's the nutcracker for you. 1.2522 0.04678 115 92 18 5
2578 Ted, I told you going as Edward Lobsterhands wouldn't be funny. 1.2522 0.04426 115 88 25 2
2579 And you think I’m the one who’s crabby? 1.2522 0.04759 115 90 21 4
2580 All I'm saying is you're never gonna find a decent manicurist this far below 23rd 1.2522 0.04596 115 89 23 3
2581 I think I'll have a headache tonight. 1.2522 0.05217 115 93 15 7
2582 If you ever meet another genie be more specific. 1.2522 0.05069 115 92 17 6
2583 You said it’s a nice seafood place, so I dressed up. What’s the problem? 1.2522 0.04759 115 90 21 4
2584 I said I caught you red-handed 1.2522 0.04916 115 91 19 5
2585 So what else did you do in Maine. 1.2522 0.04759 115 90 21 4
2586 I'm crabby? You're one to talk! 1.2522 0.05069 115 92 17 6
2587 So what exactly is so great about the floors of silent seas, anyway? 1.2522 0.04916 115 91 19 5
2588 Stop it. You know full well why your parents named you Claudius. 1.2522 0.04596 115 89 23 3
2589 You're hard to handle when you get crabby. 1.2522 0.04916 115 91 19 5
2590 You didn't realize when you ordered that our waiter was also a genie? 1.2522 0.04759 115 90 21 4
2591 You said crabs wasn’t contagious. 1.2522 0.04759 115 90 21 4
2592 Get over it. Our Maine vacation is over. 1.2522 0.04596 115 89 23 3
2593 That’s it! You’re not going to any more parties without your rubber bands. 1.2522 0.04916 115 91 19 5
2594 I‘m pretty sure you said “Get Out Clause”. 1.2522 0.04916 115 91 19 5
2595 Sometimes I wish you COULD manhandle me! 1.2522 0.04596 115 89 23 3
2596 For the second time, your hands are NOT clammy! 1.2522 0.04596 115 89 23 3
2597 If you’re the surf, I suppose that makes me the turf!? 1.2522 0.04759 115 90 21 4
2598 Then you claw back what you can. Got it? 1.2522 0.05069 115 92 17 6
2599 The steam room at the gym is way too hot, don't you think? 1.2522 0.04759 115 90 21 4
2600 It was fun at first, Finley, but you are always so crabby. 1.2522 0.04759 115 90 21 4
2601 I just always thought you’d get declawed. 1.2522 0.04426 115 88 25 2
2602 Why couldn't 'Love Shack' be your favorite song? 1.2522 0.04759 115 90 21 4
2603 I used to love when you touched me 1.2522 0.05069 115 92 17 6
2604 I told you there’d be bad side effects to that new drug. 1.2521 0.04806 119 94 20 5
2605 Not again, Tinder. 1.2521 0.04806 119 94 20 5
2606 Must you always knock the butter off the table, Larry? 1.2500 0.04994 112 89 18 5
2607 I don't care that you're transforming, Harry. I do care you ate all the seafood dip at the Millers. 1.2500 0.04830 112 88 20 4
2608 If I'm being honest, you look a lot more in-shape in your profile pictures. 1.2500 0.05030 116 93 17 6
2609 You should have told me Gregor Samsa was your cousin. 1.2500 0.04561 116 90 23 3
2610 You can come up, but we're not going past first base. 1.2500 0.04219 116 88 27 1
2611 Honney, I'm sorry I snapped at you. 1.2500 0.04994 112 89 18 5
2612 Good luck getting to second base. 1.2500 0.04660 112 87 22 3
2613 I can't believe you didn't clap once at my show! 1.2500 0.04722 116 91 21 4
2614 All right! Quadrille lessons are out. 1.2500 0.05177 116 94 15 7
2615 The butter up isn't working. 1.2500 0.04484 112 86 24 2
2616 You didn't have to set everyone's dinners free. 1.2500 0.04830 112 88 20 4
2617 No, you can't claw your way back! 1.2500 0.04660 112 87 22 3
2618 Must you offer to crack the crab legs for the entire restaurant? 1.2500 0.04879 116 92 19 5
2619 So this was what the “big surprise” was to call me away from work? 1.2500 0.04660 112 87 22 3
2620 You should be scuttling across the floors of silent seas. 1.2500 0.04994 112 89 18 5
2621 No! I will absolutely not give you the name of my manicurist. 1.2500 0.04879 116 92 19 5
2622 I thought I could break through your hard shell to the good man underneath. I was wrong. 1.2500 0.04994 112 89 18 5
2623 Feels good to get the rubberbands off. 1.2500 0.04994 112 89 18 5
2624 You DO understand? No more cuddling. 1.2500 0.04394 116 89 25 2
2625 Spare me your excuses; I caught you red handed. 1.2500 0.04994 112 89 18 5
2626 Maine-iac, Maine-iac, MAINE-iac. 1.2500 0.04994 112 89 18 5
2627 Right. You “had” to pinch her. 1.2500 0.04561 116 90 23 3
2628 Don't deny it. I caught you red-handed! 1.2500 0.04879 116 92 19 5
2629 Why do I always have to pick up the check? 1.2500 0.04561 116 90 23 3
2630 I don’t care that we already met our deductible, elective surgery is still surgery. 1.2500 0.04660 112 87 22 3
2631 When I said I wanted to date a lobsterman, this is NOT what I had in mind 1.2500 0.04484 112 86 24 2
2632 I didn't believe you when you said that you'd clawed your way to success. 1.2500 0.04207 112 87 23 2
2633 A handshake? You couldn't have just high-fived? 1.2500 0.04830 112 88 20 4
2634 I guarantee you won't ever get to second base! 1.2500 0.04994 112 89 18 5
2635 Great experiment! I can never eat crustaceans again. 1.2500 0.04561 116 90 23 3
2636 I told the waiter I just wanted lobster claws, but I think he misunderstood me. 1.2500 0.05306 112 91 14 7
2637 You never should have asked my sister if you could hold the baby - and offering her a back rub only made things worse! 1.2500 0.04994 112 89 18 5
2638 Turns out 'crabby' isn't a good look on either of us. 1.2500 0.04994 112 89 18 5
2639 There's no talking to you when you're being crabby. 1.2500 0.04722 116 91 21 4
2640 You said you wouldn't wear those to meet Mother. 1.2500 0.04660 112 87 22 3
2641 Nothing's been the same with us ever since you clawed your way to the top. 1.2500 0.04394 116 89 25 2
2642 You just had to have that extra week in Maine. 1.2479 0.04841 117 93 19 5
2643 I do get so tired of your clawing at me sometimes. 1.2479 0.04687 117 92 21 4
2644 I told you Harry, either a man hug or a peck on the cheek will do just fine." 1.2478 0.04624 113 88 22 3
2645 I really think you shouldn’t wear those to job interviews. 1.2478 0.04450 113 87 24 2
2646 You coulda just waved. 1.2478 0.04624 113 88 22 3
2647 I always find a nice fountain. I always supply the proper coin. I don't see why it's always you who gets your wish. 1.2478 0.05111 113 91 16 6
2648 I hate when you get snappy. 1.2478 0.04792 113 89 20 4
2649 They make me a much better goalie 1.2478 0.04954 113 90 18 5
2650 But you told me you like lobster. 1.2478 0.05263 113 92 14 7
2651 Those shorts are telling the wrong color story. 1.2478 0.05111 113 91 16 6
2652 I think you’re just being hard headed. Or soft headed. 1.2478 0.04269 113 86 26 1
2653 You're getting more shellfish by the day. 1.2478 0.05111 113 91 16 6
2654 Another fashion statement? 1.2477 0.05074 109 87 17 5
2655 Why are you acting so crabby? 1.2477 0.04904 109 86 19 4
2656 Stop being crabby. 1.2477 0.04728 109 85 21 3
2657 But I don't want to be in a roll. 1.2477 0.04904 109 86 19 4
2658 Have you tried being less clingy? 1.2477 0.05399 109 89 13 7
2659 You never even shave anymore. 1.2477 0.04728 109 85 21 3
2660 You haven't touched me in weeks. 1.2456 0.04755 114 90 20 4
2661 Rubber bands last night was your idea 1.2456 0.04755 114 90 20 4
2662 Stay away from my boobs! 1.2456 0.04755 114 90 20 4
2663 Did you really just say better red than spread? 1.2456 0.04237 114 87 26 1
2664 Delicious, yes. Practical, no. 1.2456 0.04755 114 90 20 4
2665 How could you be so shellfish? 1.2456 0.04755 114 90 20 4
2666 I told you to use sunscreen, but no, you went for the melted butter! 1.2456 0.04589 114 89 22 3
2667 Christ, Jerry, can’t you wait for Halloween? 1.2456 0.04755 114 90 20 4
2668 Well, so much for clawing your way to the top. 1.2456 0.04589 114 89 22 3
2669 So this is what you meant by "Just call me Claude" ... 1.2456 0.04755 114 90 20 4
2670 Do you have to wear them even in bed - you know? 1.2456 0.05071 114 92 16 6
2671 If you want to hold hands it's going to have to be the soft, rubbery inside part... 1.2456 0.05071 114 92 16 6
2672 Now you're making ME crabby! 1.2456 0.05222 114 93 14 7
2673 I don't know what makes you think this will go any better than your audition for the lead in Edward Scissorhands! 1.2456 0.04755 114 90 20 4
2674 You calling me a crab? 1.2456 0.04237 114 87 26 1
2675 I told you not to forget the nutcracker 1.2456 0.05222 114 93 14 7
2676 I don't think I can ever eat lobster again after this. 1.2456 0.04915 114 91 18 5
2677 I don’t think that’s the best way to crawl your way to the top. 1.2456 0.05071 114 92 16 6
2678 Don't worry - I'll think of some way to get you out of your shell." 1.2456 0.04416 114 88 24 2
2679 This is what i get from a fisherman's dating site. 1.2456 0.04915 114 91 18 5
2680 Sorry Tim, but I'm allergic to shellfish. 1.2456 0.04915 114 91 18 5
2681 Soft shell my ass! 1.2456 0.05071 114 92 16 6
2682 You didn't have to snap at me like that when I spilled the drawn butter on you. 1.2456 0.04915 114 91 18 5
2683 FOR lobster, Kevin. It said I like going out FOR lobster. 1.2456 0.04589 114 89 22 3
2684 I caught you red-handed. You are SO in hot water. 1.2456 0.04755 114 90 20 4
2685 I just don't like it when you snap at me. 1.2456 0.04589 114 89 22 3
2686 I told you on Tinder ... I'm Santa Claws. 1.2456 0.05222 114 93 14 7
2687 Try as you might I still think you're too handsy. 1.2456 0.04915 114 91 18 5
2688 Why do always have to be so crabby ? 1.2456 0.04915 114 91 18 5
2689 Damn, I forgot the rubber bands again. 1.2456 0.04589 114 89 22 3
2690 First you had the crabs, now you've got the lobsters. 1.2456 0.04915 114 91 18 5
2691 I told you not to watch that Yorgos Lanthimos film again... 1.2456 0.04589 114 89 22 3
2692 Okay, wear the bib. 1.2456 0.05071 114 92 16 6
2693 It was so embarrassing when you asked for that extra vat of butter sauce. 1.2456 0.04589 114 89 22 3
2694 Next time keep your hands to yourself. 1.2456 0.04915 114 91 18 5
2695 If I told you once, I told you a thousand times "Don't pinch my butt!" 1.2456 0.04416 114 88 24 2
2696 There’s more than one way to claw your way to the top. 1.2456 0.05071 114 92 16 6
2697 I just don't know why you have to be so grabby all the time. 1.2456 0.04915 114 91 18 5
2698 I told you to stop pinching my ass in public. 1.2456 0.05071 114 92 16 6
2699 Don't even think about it tonight. 1.2456 0.04589 114 89 22 3
2700 I don't see the big deal with Edward Scissorhands" 1.2456 0.05071 114 92 16 6
2701 All I said is I want crab for dinner, and you took it that personally 1.2456 0.04755 114 90 20 4
2702 Don't ever pinch me again! 1.2456 0.05071 114 92 16 6
2703 No I’m still sore from the last time we held hands”.. 1.2456 0.04755 114 90 20 4
2704 I expected you to paw me, not claw me. 1.2456 0.04755 114 90 20 4
2705 Just pinch my ass one more time... 1.2456 0.04755 114 90 20 4
2706 Don't tell me that kiss was innocent. I caught you red handed! 1.2456 0.04589 114 89 22 3
2707 Pinching women is never acceptable but for you it's an absolute no-no. 1.2456 0.04755 114 90 20 4
2708 My nipples are going to be sore for a week. 1.2456 0.05071 114 92 16 6
2709 How many times have I told you to keep your claws off me when we are in public?! 1.2456 0.04915 114 91 18 5
2710 Your profile said "built like Wolverine". 1.2456 0.04416 114 88 24 2
2711 You'll be the only one there wearing shorts and a pullover! I should've stayed home. 1.2456 0.04755 114 90 20 4
2712 For the last time, stop asking me to butter you up. 1.2456 0.04755 114 90 20 4
2713 No, I won't go out with you again Sebastian, you're all claws. 1.2456 0.04237 114 87 26 1
2714 Look, I'm sorry I called you crabby. You don't need to prove a point. 1.2456 0.04755 114 90 20 4
2715 I just wish you would stop being so crabby 1.2456 0.05071 114 92 16 6
2716 I know you're clawing your way to the top. But... 1.2456 0.05071 114 92 16 6
2717 Well I know I told you I’d give you a hand if you got crabby, but I didn’t mean literally! 1.2456 0.05222 114 93 14 7
2718 I don't see why you have to be so shellfish. 1.2456 0.04755 114 90 20 4
2719 Your just so steamed. 1.2456 0.04915 114 91 18 5
2720 Did you forget the last time we held hands I lost a finger. 1.2456 0.04416 114 88 24 2
2721 Next time I’m wearing a bib. 1.2456 0.04755 114 90 20 4
2722 When I asked if you could be any crabbier, I was being sarcastic 1.2456 0.04915 114 91 18 5
2723 Don't even think about pinching my butt or you're toast. 1.2456 0.05071 114 92 16 6
2724 My hands aren’t clammy per say 1.2456 0.04915 114 91 18 5
2725 Does everyone need to know you went to Bowdoin? 1.2456 0.04915 114 91 18 5
2726 Don't you think you're maybe being just a little claws-minded? 1.2456 0.05222 114 93 14 7
2727 I told you to keep your dirty claws off her. 1.2456 0.04755 114 90 20 4
2728 If you think you can claw your way back into my heart, you’re mistaken. 1.2456 0.04915 114 91 18 5
2729 Excuses, excuses. 1.2456 0.04915 114 91 18 5
2730 Seriously, how hard can it be to pull one stuffed animal out of a whole box of them? 1.2456 0.04915 114 91 18 5
2731 I wouldn't have worn the crab legs if you'd paid me. 1.2456 0.04589 114 89 22 3
2732 I asked you not to have your crabby pants on for once, and this is how you respond? Typical, Jeremy, just typical. 1.2456 0.05071 114 92 16 6
2733 It's time to grow up; you're not a lobster boy anymore. 1.2455 0.04865 110 87 19 4
2734 It's too much 'L. L. Bean meets J. Alfred Prufrock' for my taste. 1.2455 0.04865 110 87 19 4
2735 My shellfish allergy aside; I rather would prefer "it's me not you" Frank Buckley Andover, MA 1.2455 0.04509 110 85 23 2
2736 If you ever touch me again I'll boil you live! 1.2455 0.04690 110 86 21 3
2737 To think that I swiped left for a guy with "two left hands!?" 1.2455 0.04690 110 86 21 3
2738 I'll be your emotional support lobster. Everybody has them nowadays, they'll never know." You know, my mother was right about you 1.2455 0.04865 110 87 19 4
2739 If you're going to cosplay, you to commit to it more than that. 1.2455 0.04865 110 87 19 4
2740 Didn't I tell you getting in the hot tub was NOT a good idea? 1.2455 0.04865 110 87 19 4
2741 ‘You know we can go back to Bar Harbor next summer.’ 1.2455 0.04690 110 86 21 3
2742 ...and just how do you plan on slipping a ring on my finger? 1.2455 0.04690 110 86 21 3
2743 That’s not what escape clause means. 1.2455 0.04509 110 85 23 2
2744 All the other investigators I've worked with cracked their cases without lobster claws! 1.2455 0.05033 110 88 17 5
2745 I'm tired of your campaign to bring a professional sports team to Maine. 1.2455 0.03212 110 89 19 2
2746 I don't know why you seem to be allergic to butter. 1.2455 0.04865 110 87 19 4
2747 I wish you were a real one. 1.2455 0.05196 110 89 15 6
2748 There is no 'playful pinching' with you,Ted. 1.2455 0.05196 110 89 15 6
2749 I warned not to pick your nose in public! 1.2455 0.05196 110 89 15 6
2750 You complain that my hands are clammy? 1.2455 0.04865 110 87 19 4
2751 It's an expression, Tom. You didn't have to pinch her. 1.2455 0.05033 110 88 17 5
2752 It is not my fault that I am allergic to shellfish. 1.2455 0.04320 110 84 25 1
2753 No more shellfish for you 1.2455 0.04865 110 87 19 4
2754 Idiot. Your dermatologist told you were allergic to shell fish. You 1.2455 0.04865 110 87 19 4
2755 I just hate it when you get touchy feely. 1.2455 0.04509 110 85 23 2
2756 You're an idiot, not an influencer. 1.2455 0.04690 110 86 21 3
2757 I didn't ask for hand-holding 1.2455 0.05354 110 90 13 7
2758 You always get so crabby when I mention my mother. 1.2455 0.05033 110 88 17 5
2759 I don't care if it IS your name. I refuse to call you Claus. 1.2455 0.05196 110 89 15 6
2760 We are not going back to the Franz Kafka marriage counselor again 1.2455 0.05033 110 88 17 5
2761 When you said you could help me out "in a pinch," this is NOT what I had in mind. 1.2455 0.04122 110 83 27 0
2762 I don’t care if it’s a different kind of crabs, we’re through. 1.2455 0.04865 110 87 19 4
2763 The Lobster was a metaphor, not a wishlist... 1.2455 0.05196 110 89 15 6
2764 Your mom was a real crab. 1.2455 0.04690 110 86 21 3
2765 Well, you’re certainly no Edward Sissorhands! 1.2455 0.05196 110 89 15 6
2766 Now you come out of your shell. 1.2453 0.04607 106 82 22 2
2767 Well I thought the genetic testing guy was quite insulting! 1.2453 0.04982 106 84 18 4
2768 Look, I know we’ve been trying to experiment more in the bedroom, but that hot butter was just too much. 1.2435 0.04553 115 90 22 3
2769 My nipples are still throbbing, you motherfucker! 1.2435 0.04877 115 92 18 5
2770 Just leave the eyelash next time, okay? 1.2435 0.04553 115 90 22 3
2771 So the bib wasn't enough for you! 1.2435 0.04553 115 90 22 3
2772 I saw you! You couldn’t keep your claws off of her. 1.2435 0.04383 115 89 24 2
2773 Keep your claws off me! 1.2435 0.05326 115 95 12 8
2774 Pinochet me again, and this date is over. 1.2435 0.04553 115 90 22 3
2775 Harvey, I just don’t know how it’s going to work if you keep going around pinching everyone. 1.2435 0.04877 115 92 18 5
2776 You're not the only one who feels crabby sometimes. 1.2435 0.04383 115 89 24 2
2777 This relationship isn't working because you're too shellfish! 1.2435 0.04718 115 91 20 4
2778 I thought that 'clawing one's way to the top' was a metaphor." 1.2435 0.04205 115 88 26 1
2779 I liked it better when you were ham-handed. 1.2435 0.04877 115 92 18 5
2780 Still not happy about that pinch you gave me. Please don't make me resort to the rubber bands again." 1.2435 0.04877 115 92 18 5
2781 We could try a pincer movement. 1.2435 0.04718 115 91 20 4
2782 Seriously, was that woman eating out of your hand, or trying to eat your hand? 1.2435 0.04383 115 89 24 2
2783 That's what you get for being a bottom pincher. 1.2435 0.04718 115 91 20 4
2784 I don’t care if you did drop those passes, I still think your coach’s punishment is out of line. 1.2435 0.04383 115 89 24 2
2785 Well I hope you had fun. 1.2435 0.04877 115 92 18 5
2786 I think you’re being shellfish. 1.2435 0.04553 115 90 22 3
2787 No, I'm not gonna be The Little Mermaid for Halloween just because you decide to be a crab. 1.2435 0.05180 115 94 14 7
2788 It's like you want me to be crabby. 1.2435 0.04718 115 91 20 4
2789 You need to claw your way back into reality and stop this fear of being boiled alive. 1.2435 0.04877 115 92 18 5
2790 I've had better dates... 1.2435 0.04718 115 91 20 4
2791 No, you may not squeeze my girls again. 1.2435 0.04553 115 90 22 3
2792 I just can’t do this anymore. You’re so grabby. 1.2435 0.04205 115 88 26 1
2793 Hoping to claw your way to the top? 1.2435 0.04718 115 91 20 4
2794 No, you defininately may not come up for a drink! 1.2435 0.05031 115 93 16 6
2795 Not only did I catch you red-handed with her; I now have the worst case of the crabs! 1.2435 0.04718 115 91 20 4
2796 I’ll thank you to keep your feelers to yourself. 1.2435 0.04877 115 92 18 5
2797 Put some lotion on your hands, they're as red as lobster claws. 1.2435 0.04469 115 92 19 4
2798 Fred, I’ve warned you! The grabbing and pinching has to end. 1.2435 0.05031 115 93 16 6
2799 Admit it: I caught you red-handed with your secretary so don’’t try to claw your way out of it on a technicality. 1.2435 0.04553 115 90 22 3
2800 All this over a little pinch? 1.2435 0.05326 115 95 12 8
2801 I really don’t see how you can be so shellfish 1.2435 0.05031 115 93 16 6
2802 An occasional "thinking of you" text would be nice. 1.2435 0.05180 115 94 14 7
2803 Why did I ever think you'd do in a pinch? 1.2435 0.05031 115 93 16 6
2804 I guess you're all thumbs too! 1.2435 0.04718 115 91 20 4
2805 Your fly is always down and it’s embarrassing! 1.2435 0.04383 115 89 24 2
2806 I told you to keep your claws to your self. 1.2432 0.04653 111 87 21 3
2807 Give it a rest--Maine can't be THAT great. 1.2432 0.04992 111 89 17 5
2808 I wish you weren't always so crabby. 1.2432 0.04992 111 89 17 5
2809 I have never been so embarrassed, you used those pincers on every woman at the club! 1.2432 0.04473 111 86 23 2
2810 Don't you grab my ass! 1.2432 0.04826 111 88 19 4
2811 Yes, I've fantasized about being with a merman, but this isn't what I pictured. 1.2432 0.04653 111 87 21 3
2812 It's not that I don't like you...you're just so grabby. 1.2432 0.04473 111 86 23 2
2813 (He's a real catch, she said. Ha! More like 'catch of the day.') 1.2432 0.04473 111 86 23 2
2814 I don't mind the stares... I really don't, but it's just that, well, you have LOBSTER hands. 1.2432 0.04653 111 87 21 3
2815 I said you were acting crabby, you didn't need to find a costume to match your attitude. 1.2432 0.04653 111 87 21 3
2816 If I am ever dreaming, please don't pinch me. 1.2432 0.04653 111 87 21 3
2817 Relax—just because I'm upset with you doesn't mean I'm going to boil you alive. 1.2432 0.04653 111 87 21 3
2818 I'll need to stop on the way to get a lot more butter. 1.2432 0.04653 111 87 21 3
2819 One remark and now your mother thinks I am the crab. 1.2432 0.04286 111 85 25 1
2820 David Foster Wallace you are not! 1.2432 0.04992 111 89 17 5
2821 When you asked if I liked shellfish I thought you were taking me to Red Lobster... 1.2432 0.05310 111 91 13 7
2822 I've been cat-fished before, but never lobstered. 1.2432 0.04826 111 88 19 4
2823 I knew it was a mistake to take your rubber bands off. 1.2432 0.04992 111 89 17 5
2824 I don’t know why every time before we visit my parents you get half-boiled. 1.2432 0.04992 111 89 17 5
2825 Dr. Newburg said most cases of clawsgrowphobia don’t come to this. 1.2432 0.05154 111 90 15 6
2826 Try it again and you're getting the rubber bands. 1.2432 0.04992 111 89 17 5
2827 ‘Louis CK’s bottom-feeder’ comedy show seems a bit on the nose. 1.2432 0.04473 111 86 23 2
2828 I hate going shopping with you. You are such a penny pincer. 1.2432 0.04826 111 88 19 4
2829 No, neither one of us can use my cell phone again. 1.2432 0.04826 111 88 19 4
2830 No, I don't think it's a good idea to moisturize with drawn butter. 1.2432 0.04653 111 87 21 3
2831 From now on I'm only swiping right is there's a full body shot. 1.2432 0.04826 111 88 19 4
2832 If you weren’t so damned crabby, we could make love once in a while! 1.2432 0.04826 111 88 19 4
2833 We all feel crabby now and then, but nobody else takes it this far. 1.2432 0.04653 111 87 21 3
2834 Now can you claw your way into a job? 1.2432 0.04653 111 87 21 3
2835 you're not clawing your way out of this one... 1.2432 0.04826 111 88 19 4
2836 I heard you were frugal, but you’re a downright penny-pincher! 1.2432 0.04826 111 88 19 4
2837 I warned you not to use your crusher claw to shake hands. 1.2432 0.04473 111 86 23 2
2838 You should have known china shops are off limits! 1.2432 0.04653 111 87 21 3
2839 First, let's talk about the crabs. 1.2432 0.05154 111 90 15 6
2840 That's the last time we eat at Illegal Sea Foods! 1.2432 0.04992 111 89 17 5
2841 How many times do I have to remind you to wear your rubber bands? 1.2432 0.04286 111 85 25 1
2842 Lunch is on me. 1.2432 0.04473 111 86 23 2
2843 Hands down, I'll never go again online seeking a blind date. 1.2432 0.04826 111 88 19 4
2844 I thought we were beyond rubber bands. 1.2432 0.04826 111 88 19 4
2845 There’s nothing you can say. I caught you red-handed. 1.2430 0.04940 107 85 18 4
2846 Don't talk to me about that waitress. Butter wouldn't melt in your mouth. 1.2414 0.04435 116 93 19 4
2847 Where are the rubber bands? 1.2414 0.03380 116 95 18 3
2848 I knew I should have stayed away with our astrological incompatibility. 1.2407 0.04900 108 86 18 4
2849 Can you blame me? Your profile said nothing about you being a ginger. 1.2407 0.05073 108 87 16 5
2850 I don't care how safe they make you feel, this is clearly a case of cultural misappropriation! 1.2407 0.05241 108 88 14 6
2851 It’s just a movie! 1.2407 0.04900 108 86 18 4
2852 Look, if you want human hands, you have to give up your voice. That's the way it works, Sebastian. 1.2407 0.04900 108 86 18 4
2853 It's either the Lobster Boxing Club or me! 1.2407 0.05241 108 88 14 6
2854 Your very shellfish. 1.2407 0.04720 108 85 20 3
2855 I just wish you'd complete the transformation and be done with it. 1.2407 0.04337 108 83 24 1
2856 Let me guess you pulled a mussel? 1.2407 0.04533 108 84 22 2
2857 I see that I am not the only one feeling crabby today. 1.2407 0.04720 108 85 20 3
2858 I still say this won't get us in without a reservation 1.2407 0.04900 108 86 18 4
2859 I hate Sports! 1.2407 0.04720 108 85 20 3
2860 I'd have accepted your proposal had you not shot those rubber bands at me. 1.2407 0.04533 108 84 22 2
2861 You didn't have to scream when you slipped into the hot tub with me... 1.2407 0.05073 108 87 16 5
2862 Fishy isn't half of it. 1.2407 0.05073 108 87 16 5
2863 No more touch pools for you, mister. 1.2407 0.04720 108 85 20 3
2864 The drawn butter was for my potato. 1.2407 0.04900 108 86 18 4
2865 Yes, you saved a bundle at Discount Prosthetics...but, come on!! 1.2407 0.05403 108 89 12 7
2866 You just *had* to play with their cat, didn’t you? 1.2407 0.05073 108 87 16 5
2867 I warned you not to sign your employment contract with a clawback provision. 1.2407 0.04900 108 86 18 4
2868 I thought we agreed the relationship between the two parties should not be subject to any binding claws. 1.2407 0.04900 108 86 18 4
2869 I said, 'there ain't no laws when you DRINKING Claws' 1.2407 0.05241 108 88 14 6
2870 There were many other ways to get that waitress's attention. 1.2407 0.04720 108 85 20 3
2871 I’m a proud New Englandah too, I just don’t weah it on my sleeve. 1.2407 0.04720 108 85 20 3
2872 I TOLD you the dishwater was too hot! 1.2407 0.04533 108 84 22 2
2873 I don't think your parents liked me. 1.2407 0.04900 108 86 18 4
2874 In your great and unmatched wisdom, you decided that claws, with a longer lineage, beat opposable thumbs? 1.2407 0.04720 108 85 20 3
2875 What’s your excuse this time for not picking up the check? 1.2407 0.04533 108 84 22 2
2876 I said I like White Claw 1.2407 0.05403 108 89 12 7
2877 If I'm so crabby, how come I let you wear the claws? 1.2407 0.04720 108 85 20 3
2878 I didn't say it's about you being 'selfish' 1.2407 0.04337 108 83 24 1
2879 I told you - that’s how I roll! 1.2407 0.05073 108 87 16 5
2880 You should have thought of that before we left home. 1.2407 0.04720 108 85 20 3
2881 Just don't get all grabby! 1.2407 0.05241 108 88 14 6
2882 This is why we don't go to garage sales 1.2407 0.04533 108 84 22 2
2883 Either you drop them, or I’ll drop you. 1.2407 0.05241 108 88 14 6
2884 Get a grip. 1.2407 0.05073 108 87 16 5
2885 You've been seeing that mermaid again, haven't you? 1.2407 0.04720 108 85 20 3
2886 I'm being Crabby? Do you have any self-awareness? 1.2407 0.05073 108 87 16 5
2887 I don't believe you "can't help pinching." 1.2407 0.05073 108 87 16 5
2888 No, I do NOT want to hold hands. 1.2407 0.04720 108 85 20 3
2889 I just wish you weren’t always so shellfish. 1.2407 0.04533 108 84 22 2
2890 I think I'll just stick with the diet . . . 1.2407 0.04533 108 84 22 2
2891 Sorry Andy, but Lobster Man is just not an impressive superhero. 1.2407 0.04533 108 84 22 2
2892 I really don't care if you need them to claw your way to the top, I'm getting bad cuts all over my body! 1.2407 0.03918 108 86 20 2
2893 Keep your filthy claws off my silky drawers. 1.2407 0.05073 108 87 16 5
2894 Fine...we WON'T hold hands. 1.2407 0.05241 108 88 14 6
2895 Lois Lane gets Superman and I get stick with this 1.2407 0.05073 108 87 16 5
2896 I TOLD you we shouldn't have eaten at Cafe Fukushima! 1.2407 0.05073 108 87 16 5
2897 Finish moulting and I promise you bucket-loads of crab bisque for Thanksgiving 1.2407 0.04900 108 86 18 4
2898 All my friends boyfriends hold hand s, but you. Never! 1.2407 0.04720 108 85 20 3
2899 The Geni said “butterfingers “ and I said “me too”! 1.2407 0.05073 108 87 16 5
2900 You know you're going to die in a vat of hot butter, don't you? 1.2407 0.04900 108 86 18 4
2901 The next time someone offers to improve your physique, think before you answer. 1.2407 0.04900 108 86 18 4
2902 Bill, you know I hate it when you bring your lab work home with you. 1.2407 0.05073 108 87 16 5
2903 That's not what I meant when I said to keep your mitts off me. 1.2407 0.05403 108 89 12 7
2904 I think you gave me crabs! 1.2407 0.05073 108 87 16 5
2905 I'm not 'feeling it now', Mr. Crabs. 1.2407 0.05241 108 88 14 6
2906 When I told you I love seafood, I meant on my plate not as a body part. 1.2407 0.04720 108 85 20 3
2907 I knew I should have swiped left. 1.2407 0.04720 108 85 20 3
2908 Genie,” I said, “I wish he’d never play another frigging note on the piano, whether or not you get him a Steinway. 1.2407 0.04337 108 88 16 4
2909 When I told you that you needed to claw your way to the top 1.2407 0.05073 108 87 16 5
2910 I know you wanted to make a funny first impression, but this is weird. 1.2407 0.05073 108 87 16 5
2911 Damn it, Brian. You are not my lobster, I said it's over! 1.2407 0.04900 108 86 18 4
2912 It's not that you're becoming a lobster. It's you eating all the shrimp cocktails. 1.2407 0.04533 108 84 22 2
2913 Everyone says if you love him put a ring on it but how am I supposed to do that, KEVIN?! 1.2407 0.04900 108 86 18 4
2914 Why must you be so crabby all the time! 1.2407 0.04533 108 84 22 2
2915 First, we're not allowed in Bubba Gump Shrimp, and now we can't go into red lobster?! Thanks a lot, Greg! 1.2407 0.05073 108 87 16 5
2916 You can't freak out like that everytime a waiter serves us butter. 1.2407 0.04720 108 85 20 3
2917 The evening is spread out against the sky again. 1.2407 0.05073 108 87 16 5
2918 Please stop, Rock Lobster wasn't even cool in 1978. 1.2407 0.05241 108 88 14 6
2919 Lobster-Man" is already licensed by Disney 1.2407 0.04533 108 84 22 2
2920 Somehow I don’t believe you when you say you feel my pain. 1.2407 0.04720 108 85 20 3
2921 That bathroom was filthy! 1.2407 0.04720 108 85 20 3
2922 Alright. Ya know, let's just forget about foreplay. 1.2407 0.04720 108 85 20 3
2923 I hate it when your friends call me Turf. 1.2407 0.04900 108 86 18 4
2924 No Sheila, I'm not in a good mood. 1.2407 0.05241 108 88 14 6
2925 So, I can’t count on you for “Slow Hands.” 1.2407 0.04720 108 85 20 3
2926 My mother says she wants to drown you in butter, literally. 1.2407 0.04900 108 86 18 4
2927 Keep your hands off me! 1.2407 0.04900 108 86 18 4
2928 Ok, the hand lotion I gave you WAS butter but you don't need to get snippy about it. 1.2407 0.04900 108 86 18 4
2929 Sorry I pinched a nerve. 1.2407 0.05073 108 87 16 5
2930 'I told you it was a fantasy... it doesnt work in real life.' 1.2407 0.04720 108 85 20 3
2931 When a woman says “keep your claws off me” , Respect It! 1.2407 0.05073 108 87 16 5
2932 I said you're selfish, not shellfish. 1.2407 0.04900 108 86 18 4
2933 Frankly it might have been better if you’d turned into a complete lobster 1.2407 0.04720 108 85 20 3
2934 Still doesn’t justify your crabiness. 1.2407 0.04720 108 85 20 3
2935 Snap your hands, everybody! Really? 1.2407 0.04533 108 84 22 2
2936 I guess I should have known, when I signed up on Lobster dating app. 1.2407 0.04900 108 86 18 4
2937 No more birthday parties at Red Lobster. 1.2407 0.04900 108 86 18 4
2938 This is not a date and I don't want to hold your hand. 1.2407 0.04533 108 84 22 2
2939 Don't you think you're taking your Prufrock obsession a bit too far? 1.2407 0.05073 108 87 16 5
2940 You've seen that damned movie too many times. 1.2407 0.04533 108 84 22 2
2941 Yes, this is just as stupid as you using straws to make yourself a walrus. 1.2407 0.04533 108 84 22 2
2942 I TOLD you not to hold the baby! 1.2407 0.04337 108 83 24 1
2943 I thought that table was going to pick you 1.2407 0.04337 108 83 24 1
2944 In your case, there is no such thing as an innocent butt pinch. 1.2407 0.04533 108 84 22 2
2945 I'm just sick and tired of the SpongeBob jokes, Larry" 1.2407 0.04900 108 86 18 4
2946 Tell me again, how you made it to the top. 1.2407 0.04900 108 86 18 4
2947 Sorry Ross. You can't claw you're way back into my life. 1.2407 0.04900 108 86 18 4
2948 When I told you I love everything that has to do with lobster, you over-interpreted a bit. 1.2407 0.04900 108 86 18 4
2949 I'm tired of you snapping at me all the time! 1.2407 0.04337 108 83 24 1
2950 Don’t get snippy with me! I caught you red-handed! 1.2407 0.05561 108 90 10 8
2951 Biting remarks and word of mouth are not necessarily one and the same... 1.2407 0.04720 108 85 20 3
2952 I LOVE it when you pinch My Ass. 1.2407 0.05241 108 88 14 6
2953 You're just wrong. A wedding band is not the same as a claw band. 1.2407 0.04900 108 86 18 4
2954 How could you lose your tail ? 1.2407 0.04900 108 86 18 4
2955 ... then explain why your name in her phone is "claw-daddy"... 1.2407 0.05073 108 87 16 5
2956 Every since the accident at the lab, you refuse to eat at Red Lobster 1.2407 0.05241 108 88 14 6
2957 Well, it was your idea that I claw my way to the top. 1.2407 0.04533 108 84 22 2
2958 Henry, have you had a chance to go on Ancestry.com? Is there anything you haven't told me about yourself? 1.2407 0.04627 108 87 17 4
2959 In the future I’d appreciate it if you would keep your claws off me 1.2407 0.04720 108 85 20 3
2960 I'm just saying, do the dishes; fold the laundry. You could try a little harder. 1.2407 0.04133 108 82 26 0
2961 No, I won't call you 'Edward Scissorhands'. 1.2407 0.05073 108 87 16 5
2962 You lied about your profile on a Lot of Fish! 1.2407 0.04900 108 86 18 4
2963 I thought your on-line profile said your name was Claude. 1.2407 0.04720 108 85 20 3
2964 Now you’ve got me paranoid. Do you really think people are staring at my big butt? 1.2407 0.05073 108 87 16 5
2965 So you're not on board with the dancing lobsters costume idea this year? 1.2407 0.04533 108 84 22 2
2966 I should have been a pair of ragged claws scuttling across the floors of silent seas. 1.2407 0.04900 108 86 18 4
2967 Can't you at least talk to a doctor? 1.2407 0.04533 108 84 22 2
2968 Why won’t you use my hand cream? 1.2407 0.04533 108 89 14 5
2969 I warned you that I'm all thumbs. 1.2407 0.05241 108 88 14 6
2970 When I said you are my lobster I didn’t mean it literally. 1.2407 0.04533 108 84 22 2
2971 I can’t take you anywhere with those ridiculous shoes. (Not sure if this submitted correctly the first time!) 1.2407 0.05073 108 87 16 5
2972 You look silly without your rubber bands 1.2407 0.04533 108 84 22 2
2973 Ted, today you seem crabbier than ever. 1.2407 0.04533 108 84 22 2
2974 I always said your parents had a sick sense of humor, Sandy. 1.2407 0.04900 108 86 18 4
2975 Don't you want to be more than just a raw-bar tender? 1.2407 0.04533 108 84 22 2
2976 I distinctly said “Santa Claus”. 1.2407 0.04720 108 85 20 3
2977 I said aardvark snout. But, oh no, you had to have the lobster claws. Do you have any idea how much it will cost to have your ring re-sized? And by the way, this isn't a purse. It's an ironic accessory. Burp! I'm your girlfriend! 1.2407 0.04720 108 85 20 3
2978 Don't bother me, I am crabby. 1.2407 0.04720 108 85 20 3
2979 You never hold hands with me anymore! 1.2407 0.04533 108 84 22 2
2980 No more ‘All-you-can-eat Stone crab’ nights out for you... 1.2407 0.04900 108 86 18 4
2981 I’m kinda a big deal in Maine 1.2407 0.04533 108 84 22 2
2982 When you signed on the dating site as lobster boy, thought you just like seafood. 1.2407 0.05073 108 87 16 5
2983 I said I love lobster, not you as a lobster 1.2407 0.04900 108 86 18 4
2984 They will give me an edge when I'm fishing with the boys. 1.2407 0.04900 108 86 18 4
2985 Yes, I am in a crabby mood, but you're one to talk. 1.2407 0.05073 108 87 16 5
2986 Yes, I remember. I did agree to a marriage clause 1.2407 0.04533 108 84 22 2
2987 Well, we sure are in a bit of a pinch. 1.2407 0.04533 108 84 22 2
2988 I wrote you on eHarmony I have a shellfish allergy 1.2407 0.04720 108 85 20 3
2989 For the last time, keep your claws off the waitress. 1.2407 0.04533 108 84 22 2
2990 Oh, and what would've you spent your lottery winnings on? 1.2407 0.04900 108 86 18 4
2991 Not tonight. I haven't healed yet. 1.2407 0.04533 108 84 22 2
2992 United Healthcare didn’t cover the Epi Pen 1.2407 0.05073 108 87 16 5
2993 I’m just saying you could have said a little more in your tinder profile than “loves seafood” . 1.2407 0.04533 108 84 22 2
2994 Don't be so crabby Louie! 1.2407 0.05403 108 89 12 7
2995 Well, I don't think they're funny. 1.2407 0.04533 108 84 22 2
2996 It's a movie! No one's trying to trap you. 1.2407 0.04900 108 86 18 4
2997 The relationship is over, don't try to claw your way back in! 1.2407 0.04900 108 86 18 4
2998 No, you wouldn’t make a good Santa Claus. 1.2407 0.04720 108 85 20 3
2999 A little snappy? Okay, Tom. 1.2407 0.04533 108 84 22 2
3000 I told you to be more gentle last night. What will we tell the doctor? 1.2407 0.04720 108 85 20 3
3001 Just had to order the daily radioactive special, huh? 1.2407 0.04900 108 86 18 4
3002 I told you not to order the GMO lobster! 1.2407 0.05073 108 87 16 5
3003 Our social lives, George. Because of our social lives. 1.2407 0.04533 108 84 22 2
3004 There is definitely something in the water! 1.2407 0.04720 108 85 20 3
3005 stop being such a crab 1.2407 0.04720 108 85 20 3
3006 The procedure had less complications than a vasectomy 1.2407 0.04533 108 84 22 2
3007 Just because it worked out for Spiderman doesn't mean the radioactive lobster was a good choice. 1.2407 0.05073 108 87 16 5
3008 So that's why your parents named you Claude 1.2407 0.05241 108 88 14 6
3009 You should've thought through the idea of being a pinch hitter just a little more carefully. 1.2407 0.04900 108 86 18 4
3010 Well, I guess there’s no use in trying to butter you up. 1.2407 0.04533 108 84 22 2
3011 I feel like this crustacean research project of yours is getting out of hand. 1.2407 0.04720 108 85 20 3
3012 Hey, can I get a lil’ tail over here? 1.2407 0.04720 108 85 20 3
3013 Well, it's not MY idea of lobster night. 1.2407 0.04720 108 85 20 3
3014 I feel it's best if we keep our relationship platonic. 1.2407 0.04900 108 86 18 4
3015 Cut the crab! 1.2407 0.04720 108 85 20 3
3016 Why would you be wearing claws? It's summer! 1.2407 0.04337 108 83 24 1
3017 Frankly, I thought you’d come through in a pinch. 1.2407 0.04900 108 86 18 4
3018 It's just a YouTube movie, Frank! I dont think you need to "get into character" for Edward Lobsterhands 1.2407 0.04900 108 86 18 4
3019 How dare your mother treat me like that --now I'm steamed! 1.2407 0.04900 108 86 18 4
3020 Just once I’d like you to pick up the check. 1.2407 0.04337 108 83 24 1
3021 You keep saying that. Next time maybe just wear a collared-shirt. 1.2407 0.04720 108 85 20 3
3022 No, my mother did not find your Shabbat humor funny. 1.2407 0.04533 108 84 22 2
3023 I don't think when the therapist said I need to be more sensitive to your pain, she meant we can never make pasta again. 1.2407 0.05241 108 88 14 6
3024 The exact reason I warned you my grandmother would pinch your cheeks when she met you is so you wouldn't do it back! 1.2407 0.05403 108 89 12 7
3025 Dave, it's over. You're just too shellfish. 1.2407 0.04900 108 86 18 4
3026 This wasn't what I had in mind when I said you needed to claw your way to the top. 1.2407 0.05403 108 89 12 7
3027 Never thought that you were very subtle. 1.2407 0.04720 108 85 20 3
3028 I wanted lobster claws ... for dinner! 1.2407 0.04720 108 85 20 3
3029 Fine. But quit snapping at me. 1.2407 0.04133 108 82 26 0
3030 True, I checked the comic book superhero box on the dating website. But Lobster Man, really? 1.2407 0.04720 108 85 20 3
3031 That's not what I meant when I said I would like to catch you red handed! 1.2407 0.04533 108 84 22 2
3032 Well how was I supposed to know you had crabs? 1.2407 0.05073 108 87 16 5
3033 When I invited you for a seafood dinner I expected the whole you. 1.2407 0.05241 108 88 14 6
3034 Why couldn't you have gotten a normal superpower, like x-ray vision? 1.2407 0.04720 108 85 20 3
3035 Well, Mr. Prufrock, maybe you should have consider something more romantic that doesn't involve 'scuttling.' 1.2407 0.05073 108 87 16 5
3036 I don’t care how colorful it makes you, I’m not transitioning. 1.2407 0.05073 108 87 16 5
3037 I hate holding your hand when you're being such a crab." 1.2407 0.04533 108 84 22 2
3038 Your profile said you were a tail man. 1.2385 0.04496 109 85 22 2
3039 Go with the bro hug greeting. 1.2385 0.04681 109 86 20 3
3040 That's not what I meant when I told you to keep your paws off me. 1.2385 0.05197 109 89 14 6
3041 Lamont Lobsterclaws? How derivative. 1.2385 0.05031 109 88 16 5
3042 This is how you impress my father? He owns a 'pawn' shop you idiot ! 1.2385 0.04496 109 85 22 2
3043 PETA is going to boil you alive when they see this. 1.2385 0.04859 109 87 18 4
3044 I don't appreciate you always being so snippy. 1.2385 0.04496 109 85 22 2
3045 I don’t care what your excuse is. I want you to take me dancing! 1.2385 0.04681 109 86 20 3
3046 And you wanna be what for Halloween? 1.2385 0.04590 109 88 17 4
3047 well one of us is going to have to change 1.2385 0.04681 109 86 20 3
3048 Ok, Ok, so I was a little crabby. I've been under a lot of stress. Get over it. 1.2385 0.04496 109 85 22 2
3049 I won't butter it up; it hurts to be with you. 1.2385 0.04496 109 85 22 2
3050 Stop trying to butter me up 1.2385 0.04681 109 86 20 3
3051 You should have left my mom's nose alone. 1.2385 0.04681 109 86 20 3
3052 I love your claws, but I would also love you to where a pair of pants and maybe a dress shirt when we go out. 1.2385 0.04681 109 86 20 3
3053 You can just be so crabby 1.2385 0.04859 109 87 18 4
3054 Maybe you think it's funny that I need a nipple transplant, Mr.Lobsterhands! 1.2385 0.04681 109 86 20 3
3055 I should have listened to my mum. She told me to marry Marc. He could carry my bags at least. 1.2385 0.04496 109 85 22 2
3056 Contract claws my ass! 1.2385 0.04496 109 85 22 2
3057 Having giant lobster claws does not automatically increase your "net worth." 1.2385 0.04681 109 86 20 3
3058 I'm so tired of the seafood lover in you... 1.2385 0.04859 109 87 18 4
3059 You don't have to be so Crabby! Get over it! 1.2385 0.05031 109 88 16 5
3060 You sure spent a LOT OF MONEY at the Manicurist this month.. 1.2385 0.04859 109 87 18 4
3061 You don’t have to bring your work home with you. 1.2385 0.04681 109 86 20 3
3062 I get an Instapot, and you're all "do we really need it?" 1.2385 0.05197 109 89 14 6
3063 Surely there were other ways to become Master of Your Domain. 1.2385 0.05031 109 88 16 5
3064 I should had listened to my friends when they told me I was kissing the wrong animal at the bar. 1.2385 0.05031 109 88 16 5
3065 For this relationship to work, you need to be less shellfish. 1.2385 0.04681 109 86 20 3
3066 Don't think this gets you out of being caught red-handed. 1.2385 0.04496 109 85 22 2
3067 Don't butter me up just break it off with me. 1.2385 0.04859 109 87 18 4
3068 I told Cheryl to set me up with a guy that wouldn't get too handsy but his is ridiculous. 1.2385 0.04303 109 84 24 1
3069 I thought the shorts were enough of a fashion statement. 1.2385 0.05197 109 89 14 6
3070 Let's see you claw your way out of this one! 1.2385 0.04496 109 85 22 2
3071 Of corse I’m upset, you’re shellfish 1.2385 0.04681 109 86 20 3
3072 If that's your super power, all I can say is Wolverine you ain't. 1.2385 0.05031 109 88 16 5
3073 It’s fine if you don’t want to get dressed up but you could at least be a little less crabby. 1.2385 0.04859 109 87 18 4
3074 I wanted to grab the check but I couldn't. 1.2385 0.04496 109 85 22 2
3075 You never said you were allergic to seafood. 1.2385 0.05031 109 88 16 5
3076 Yes, you should have been a pair of ragged claws scuttling across the floors of silent seas! 1.2385 0.04859 109 87 18 4
3077 I told you I hate it when you start trimming my parents' garden 1.2385 0.04859 109 87 18 4
3078 I Still don't understand why you couldn't have opened the door for me! 1.2385 0.04681 109 86 20 3
3079 A manicure is not an unmanly thing. 1.2385 0.04303 109 84 24 1
3080 THAT"s what you mean by a 'pre-nip" agreement?' 1.2385 0.05031 109 88 16 5
3081 I told you not to touch that, you don't know where it's been and I told you to wash your hands but did you listen to me no because you never listen to me and I don't see why I always have to be the one to clean after your mistakes because you nev . 1.2385 0.04590 109 88 17 4
3082 This is the last time I bail you out of jail for your lobster's rights protests. 1.2385 0.04681 109 86 20 3
3083 I guess I will have to pick up the kids 1.2381 0.05158 105 85 15 5
3084 Now that you've clawed your way to the top, what's next? 1.2381 0.04594 105 82 21 2
3085 I needed you in a pinch and you weren't there. 1.2381 0.04789 105 83 19 3
3086 I have a pretty good idea where I caught them. 1.2381 0.04977 105 84 17 4
3087 I know you’re upset - I just can’t put a finger on why 1.2381 0.05158 105 85 15 5
3088 Dear New Yorker: this cartoon should not be published, because there is actually a birth deformity similar to this image. 1.2381 0.05332 105 86 13 6
3089 You say I'm crabby, but look in the mirror! 1.2381 0.04789 105 83 19 3
3090 You've got to face facts: you may be the best hand model in town, but your range is limited. 1.2381 0.04789 105 83 19 3
3091 I told you not to order the soup. 1.2381 0.04977 105 84 17 4
3092 It is certainly NOT making me any less irritable! 1.2381 0.04977 105 84 17 4
3093 I said I'd edit the dependent clause and you should take on the main clause ... not the MAINE CLAWS! 1.2381 0.05501 105 87 11 7
3094 I always feel like a fish out of water with you..." 1.2381 0.05158 105 85 15 5
3095 No, I will not stop calling you cray-cray now. 1.2381 0.04977 105 84 17 4
3096 I work so hard to claw my way to the top! A little support would ne nice! Do you always have to be so shellfish? 1.2381 0.04977 105 84 17 4
3097 At least you're not wearing your Hulk hands. 1.2381 0.04977 105 84 17 4
3098 My profile said 'looking for turf' not surf. 1.2381 0.04977 105 84 17 4
3099 I said I’d go if they’d SERVE lobster, not if you’d BE a lobster! 1.2381 0.05158 105 85 15 5
3100 And I thought Edward Scissorhands was a bad date 1.2381 0.05158 105 85 15 5
3101 I’m just saying your intimate touch is lacking. 1.2381 0.05332 105 86 13 6
3102 I wish you'd get your own nail polish. 1.2381 0.04789 105 83 19 3
3103 You just have to touch everything, don't you? 1.2381 0.04789 105 83 19 3
3104 We are NEVER going to Red Lobster again. 1.2381 0.04594 105 82 21 2
3105 You are just so crabby today. 1.2381 0.05158 105 85 15 5
3106 Go ahead! You said you wanted freedom to grab all you wanted. 1.2381 0.04977 105 84 17 4
3107 Put those away, you look ridiculous 1.2381 0.04789 105 83 19 3
3108 This is not what I expected when said you were clawing your way up the corporate ladder, Simon! 1.2358 0.04935 106 85 17 4
3109 And I'm telling you they don't actually mate for life, they've got harems 1.2358 0.04556 106 83 21 2
3110 Stop volunteering to pinch people’s bottoms at parties! It’s embarrassing! 1.2358 0.05114 106 86 15 5
3111 I like intellectual debate too, I just wish you wouldn't tear me apart like that. 1.2358 0.04749 106 84 19 3
3112 I just don't understand why that restaurant offers everyone garlic butter except us. 1.2358 0.04935 106 85 17 4
3113 Blind dates never work out for me. 1.2358 0.04935 106 85 17 4
3114 This is very shellfish of you,Ted. 1.2358 0.04749 106 84 19 3
3115 I know your nickname was "Larry, the Lobster" in high school, but you're 42 now and it's really time to give up the lobster mitts. 1.2358 0.05114 106 86 15 5
3116 You have to stop playing with your food. 1.2358 0.04749 106 84 19 3
3117 They never even try getting your pronouns right 1.2358 0.04556 106 83 21 2
3118 I told you I’m allergic to shellfish. 1.2358 0.04749 106 84 19 3
3119 This is why I don’t like you drinking with your friends. 1.2358 0.04935 106 85 17 4
3120 You"res wearing king when I"m in a hermit mood. 1.2358 0.05114 106 86 15 5
3121 It is really time you decide whether you are a left handed or right handed pincher. 1.2358 0.05114 106 86 15 5
3122 You forgot the butter and lost the car key? How could you! 1.2358 0.04749 106 84 19 3
3123 You're never gonna claw your way to the top wearing shorts. 1.2358 0.04556 106 83 21 2
3124 It’s not an excuse to pinch everyone. 1.2358 0.04354 106 82 23 1
3125 I said I wanted to have a lobster dinner but of course you had to overdo it. 1.2358 0.04354 106 82 23 1
3126 I tried removing them but they just grew back. 1.2358 0.04935 106 85 17 4
3127 Just because your name is Claude? You could have gotten a T-shirt! 1.2358 0.04749 106 84 19 3
3128 As usual, you have it all backwards again! 1.2358 0.04749 106 84 19 3
3129 Should have ordered the chicken. 1.2358 0.05114 106 86 15 5
3130 My mom agrees with me—you’re definitely more crabby than you used to be. 1.2358 0.04354 106 82 23 1
3131 This is not going to work. I prefer tail meat. 1.2336 0.04893 107 86 17 4
3132 And don't you call ME crabbie! 1.2336 0.05070 107 87 15 5
3133 I talked about Michelangelo till I was blue in the face; I told you nobody was going to get my Mrs. Prufrock costume. Next T.S. Eliot Theme Night we're going as Practical Cats and be done with it. 1.2336 0.05070 107 87 15 5
3134 But what is this saying about me? 1.2336 0.04710 107 85 19 3
3135 How many times have I told you not to pinch? 1.2336 0.04519 107 84 21 2
3136 I know you're trying to claw your way up the corporate ladder, but this is ridiculous! 1.2336 0.04710 107 85 19 3
3137 I’m afraid my old-school New England family might eat you alive. 1.2336 0.05070 107 87 15 5
3138 Its not like I'm the only one being crabby. 1.2336 0.04319 107 83 23 1
3139 Hands or claws; keep them to yourself 1.2336 0.05070 107 87 15 5
3140 Might be a good time to give up seafood. 1.2336 0.04519 107 84 21 2
3141 'Crabby? That makes two of us.' 1.2336 0.04710 107 85 19 3
3142 You promised I could wear those out tonight. 1.2336 0.04710 107 85 19 3
3143 This was NOT mentioned on your eHarmony profile... 1.2336 0.04519 107 84 21 2
3144 I'm sorry but this is it. The foreplay is horrible and butter leaves grease stains on the sheets! 1.2336 0.05070 107 87 15 5
3145 That crab was so overpriced! 1.2336 0.04893 107 86 17 4
3146 My profile clearly said I hate Red Lobster. 1.2336 0.04710 107 85 19 3
3147 Don’t for one moment think that you’re going to get to second base tonight. 1.2336 0.04893 107 86 17 4
3148 There is a limit to "All you can eat." 1.2336 0.05070 107 87 15 5
3149 Summer's over. You're holding on to the beach vibe too long! 1.2336 0.04319 107 83 23 1
3150 It’s just that my last boyfriend couldn’t keep his paws off of me. 1.2336 0.04519 107 84 21 2
3151 Just because your name is Newburg... 1.2336 0.04893 107 86 17 4
3152 So you're the only one that's allowed to be crabby? 1.2336 0.04519 107 84 21 2
3153 With that attitude, you bet one of your claws is going to grow bigger. 1.2336 0.04893 107 86 17 4
3154 I do take your acting career seriously, but I'm telling you--you don't need to be in character for your Halloween costume for a whole month 1.2336 0.04893 107 86 17 4
3155 Try that one more time when we're with my friends and the pegs are going right back in. 1.2336 0.04893 107 86 17 4
3156 How many times do I have to tell you not to leave home without rubber bands? 1.2336 0.04893 107 86 17 4
3157 I said you need a cause, not claws. 1.2336 0.04710 107 85 19 3
3158 You think you're so funny, Claus. 1.2336 0.04710 107 85 19 3
3159 I wish you would stop shaking hands and just hug people. 1.2336 0.05070 107 87 15 5
3160 "Are you crabby?" 1.2336 0.05241 107 88 13 6
3161 YOU CANNOT JUST CLAW YOURSELF BACK INTO MY HEART 1.2336 0.05241 107 88 13 6
3162 Must you snap the head off everyone who calls you crabby! 1.2336 0.04710 107 85 19 3
3163 You don't literally need claws in order to claw your way to the top. 1.2336 0.04893 107 86 17 4
3164 This is ridiculous! You think you can walk down 5th avenue with a pair of lobster claws on and people won't say anything. Yeah, right. They just think and know you're a raving IDIOT. 1.2336 0.04893 107 86 17 4
3165 It's not you I don't like, Brad. It's that snappy tone you use. 1.2336 0.04519 107 84 21 2
3166 You don't have to shake hands with everyone Glen. 1.2336 0.04519 107 84 21 2
3167 I don’t know why, but you always seem so crabby when we see my parents. 1.2336 0.04710 107 85 19 3
3168 So, this is your brilliant plan to claw your way to the top? Really?? 1.2336 0.04710 107 85 19 3
3169 If you don’t cut it out the rubber bands are going back on. 1.2336 0.04710 107 85 19 3
3170 You're spending way too much time at the beach. 1.2336 0.04519 107 84 21 2
3171 I swear to God - if you pinch me one more time ... 1.2336 0.04893 107 86 17 4
3172 Ask to go out with s mobster and look what you get. 1.2336 0.04710 107 85 19 3
3173 Jeez! Don't you know that there's the pincer claw and a much larger crusher claw? 1.2336 0.04519 107 84 21 2
3174 Harold, I am so angry I could drop you in a pot of boiling water. 1.2336 0.05407 107 89 11 7
3175 Fine. I won’t try to hold your hand in public anymore. 1.2336 0.04710 107 85 19 3
3176 And don't even consider heavy petting at this point in our relationship. 1.2330 0.04820 103 82 18 3
3177 I'm so tired of this heat. 1.2330 0.05200 103 84 14 5
3178 The oven mitts fit. They might not acquit. 1.2330 0.04618 103 81 20 2
3179 Jill bitterly regretted not checking the prenup after her request to add an extra clause... 1.2330 0.04618 103 81 20 2
3180 If you embarrass me like that one more time, I'm going to get the rubber bands out again. 1.2330 0.04618 103 81 20 2
3181 How could you think my vegan parents would that funny? 1.2330 0.05200 103 84 14 5
3182 It's from my mother's side 1.2330 0.05014 103 83 16 4
3183 Don't get snippy with me again. 1.2330 0.04618 103 81 20 2
3184 I thought your online profile said "mobster", not "lobster"! 1.2330 0.05380 103 85 12 6
3185 Next time, keep your claws to yourself! 1.2330 0.04820 103 82 18 3
3186 If you try to hold my hand once more, the rubber bands are going back on. 1.2330 0.04618 103 81 20 2
3187 I knew they’d kick us out. 1.2330 0.05014 103 83 16 4
3188 And how is my mother supposed to knit gloves for those? 1.2330 0.04618 103 81 20 2
3189 What was I thinking - introducing you to Ms. Butterfingers? 1.2330 0.05200 103 84 14 5
3190 I hate it when you save the best part for later eating. 1.2330 0.04820 103 82 18 3
3191 I don’t care how manly you feel: long shorts are passé. 1.2330 0.04618 103 81 20 2
3192 Damn it, I can't dress you forever! 1.2330 0.05200 103 84 14 5
3193 Well at least I’m not clammy. 1.2330 0.05014 103 83 16 4
3194 Keep your slimy claws away from me! 1.2330 0.05014 103 83 16 4
3195 This wasn't what I expected when your profile said "Heavy Handed" 1.2330 0.05380 103 85 12 6
3196 You are the most shellfish person I have ever met. 1.2330 0.04618 103 81 20 2
3197 If we don't find you a shell to live in you'll just have to come back to the apartment. 1.2330 0.04618 103 81 20 2
3198 Don’t tell me “ it’s out of my hands” 1.2330 0.05014 103 83 16 4
3199 Don’t be so sensitive. My father always asks for extra melted butter with dinner. 1.2330 0.04820 103 82 18 3
3200 You really need to start coming out of your shell. 1.2330 0.04618 103 81 20 2
3201 I said stop being so "selfish" 1.2330 0.05014 103 83 16 4
3202 Remind me to never, ever, make out with you again! 1.2330 0.04618 103 81 20 2
3203 You and red wine do not pair well. 1.2330 0.05014 103 83 16 4
3204 I don't care if my dress was wedged in or not! 1.2330 0.04618 103 81 20 2
3205 The Hulk fists were funny...but this is going too far! 1.2315 0.05028 108 88 15 5
3206 Your texting skills are horrendous. 1.2315 0.04577 108 88 16 4
3207 I didn't pinch that mermaid. She backed into my claw." 1.2308 0.04779 104 83 18 3
3208 No need to ask what your superpower is. 1.2308 0.04779 104 83 18 3
3209 When I said “full disclosure,” I meant full in the context of online dating. 1.2308 0.04579 104 82 20 2
3210 I don't care if you say they're retractable. 1.2308 0.05155 104 85 14 5
3211 You promised me not to go on stage during the B52's Rock Lobster" 1.2308 0.05333 104 86 12 6
3212 You’re definitely in hot water with me. 1.2308 0.04371 104 81 22 1
3213 Worst finger-bang ever! 1.2294 0.05154 109 90 13 6
3214 First stop, my manicurist. 1.2277 0.04642 101 80 19 2
3215 Listen I know you're in a pinch but you don't have to be so hard-shelled 1.2277 0.04423 101 79 21 1
3216 No I will not call you 'David Pincer' 1.2277 0.04642 101 80 19 2
3217 I get it. You're a freak. But do you have to be so crabby about it? 1.2277 0.04642 101 80 19 2
3218 Stop being such a crab, John. 1.2277 0.05050 101 82 15 4
3219 That is the most pathetic boxing outfit I have ever seen. 1.2277 0.05050 101 82 15 4
3220 I know you are a good catch but you don't have to act so crabby. 1.2277 0.05243 101 83 13 5
3221 I WISH YOU WEREN"T SO SHELLFISH 1.2277 0.05050 101 82 15 4
3222 No, I’m not holding hands. 1.2277 0.05050 101 82 15 4
3223 I’m not going to put up with the crabby attitude you’re giving me today, Bob. 1.2277 0.04850 101 81 17 3
3224 We'd still be together if you weren't so shellfish. 1.2277 0.05050 101 82 15 4
3225 There must be a clause in the pre-nup... 1.2277 0.05243 101 83 13 5
3226 No more foreplay. 1.2277 0.05050 101 82 15 4
3227 I told you to keep your CLAWS off me 1.2277 0.05050 101 82 15 4
3228 No Claude, I will not "check your nose". 1.2277 0.05050 101 82 15 4
3229 And to make matters worse, your parents named you Claude! 1.2277 0.05243 101 83 13 5
3230 We talked about this, you were to grabby in bed. 1.2277 0.04642 101 80 19 2
3231 Don't try to claw your way back into my affections. 1.2277 0.04850 101 81 17 3
3232 It's over, John. I told you on our first date that I was kosher! 1.2277 0.05243 101 83 13 5
3233 Let’s not hold hands for now. 1.2277 0.04194 101 78 23 0
3234 I’m sorry. I thought it was a kind of manicure. 1.2277 0.04850 101 81 17 3
3235 Dominance hierarchies be damned! You want something you gotta grab it with both claws! 1.2277 0.04850 101 81 17 3
3236 So much for adding color to marriage. I’m a redhead and no one will ever know. 1.2277 0.05050 101 82 15 4
3237 If you sing Rock Lobster one more time, I'm out of here! 1.2277 0.04642 101 80 19 2
3238 OK, now you can claw back that money we lost. 1.2277 0.05050 101 82 15 4
3239 I can't believe how shellfish you are! 1.2277 0.04850 101 81 17 3
3240 What are you so crabby about? 1.2277 0.04850 101 81 17 3
3241 You love the B52's more than you love me!" 1.2277 0.04642 101 80 19 2
3242 Want to play grab ass? 1.2277 0.04850 101 81 17 3
3243 Claws you're mine" 1.2277 0.04850 101 81 17 3
3244 I'm not the only one who's crabby today" 1.2277 0.05243 101 83 13 5
3245 You'll wear those 'til you stop pinching waitresses. 1.2277 0.05243 101 83 13 5
3246 I’m not mad. I have claws-trophobia. 1.2277 0.04850 101 81 17 3
3247 You should have warned me about the crabs. 1.2277 0.05050 101 82 15 4
3248 No, I didn’t forget the butter. Why? 1.2277 0.05050 101 82 15 4
3249 Next time I pick where we eat. The kids officially have enough lobster mitts! 1.2277 0.04850 101 81 17 3
3250 I didn't pick red. 1.2277 0.04423 101 79 21 1
3251 I meant I was in the mood for a lobster roll not a stroll 1.2277 0.05243 101 83 13 5
3252 I just don't like public displays of affection. 1.2277 0.04642 101 80 19 2
3253 We will NOT have a cheering section at the next Bris. 1.2277 0.05050 101 82 15 4
3254 FOREPLAY???? I have 16 stitches and PTSD! 1.2277 0.04850 101 81 17 3
3255 I can't take you anywhere! 1.2277 0.05050 101 82 15 4
3256 We are never doing foreplay again 1.2277 0.04642 101 80 19 2
3257 I'm so tired of you using your clawdicap as both an excuse and a means for attention. 1.2277 0.04850 101 81 17 3
3258 Next time, warn me before you reach for a loose button on my blouse. 1.2277 0.04850 101 81 17 3
3259 No, I don’t think it’s “cool.” 1.2277 0.05050 101 82 15 4
3260 I can't BELIEVE he's wearing shorts 1.2277 0.04423 101 79 21 1
3261 Oh, I'M being crabby? 1.2277 0.04423 101 79 21 1
3262 Did you have to tell everyone you clawed your way to the top? 1.2277 0.04850 101 81 17 3
3263 We'll never be allowed back. 1.2277 0.05243 101 83 13 5
3264 Obviously, he should be impeached. I'm just worried the proceedings will hurt the elect -- wait, did you forget to take off your oven mitts again? 1.2277 0.05243 101 83 13 5
3265 And you think I’m being crabby! 1.2277 0.04423 101 79 21 1
3266 I hope you won't expect me to participate in your personal hygiene! 1.2277 0.05050 101 82 15 4
3267 NEXT time, it'll be McDonalds!! Hear me, Buster??? 1.2277 0.05428 101 84 11 6
3268 I would NEVER ask you to be something you're not. I said stop being"selfish". 1.2277 0.04850 101 81 17 3
3269 I think you are going to have to claw your way to the top if you want to get anywhere... 1.2277 0.04850 101 81 17 3
3270 My last relationship boiled me alive. 1.2277 0.05050 101 82 15 4
3271 I didn't say "pinch her". 1.2277 0.04850 101 81 17 3
3272 I can’t believe you let her bait you like that. 1.2277 0.05050 101 82 15 4
3273 Talk about clawing your way to the top! 1.2277 0.05050 101 82 15 4
3274 I said that if I wanted to live dangerously, I should have married a MOBSTER! 1.2277 0.05428 101 84 11 6
3275 I told you to stop, but at least your eyes didn't go bad. 1.2277 0.05050 101 82 15 4
3276 That’s your whole plan? To scuttle across the floor of silent seas? 1.2277 0.04850 101 81 17 3
3277 When I said you were ‘too handsy’ on our first date, I didn’t expect this kind of reaction.” 1.2277 0.04642 101 80 19 2
3278 Edward Scissorshands was better. 1.2277 0.05050 101 82 15 4
3279 You've been so crabby recently 1.2277 0.04642 101 80 19 2
3280 I might be hangry, but you’re the crabby one. 1.2277 0.05428 101 84 11 6
3281 Stage five of the Kabourophobia treatment plan. 1.2277 0.05243 101 83 13 5
3282 Do you want the rubber bands back on? Then, shut up! 1.2277 0.05243 101 83 13 5
3283 Sorry, I prefer calamari. 1.2277 0.04642 101 80 19 2
3284 Yes, I call that ‘foreplay’. 1.2277 0.04423 101 79 21 1
3285 Look, Donald, it may be O.K. to pinch a kitty, but... 1.2277 0.05050 101 82 15 4
3286 I can hardly wait until you've finished molting. 1.2277 0.04850 101 81 17 3
3287 I just hate it when they require formal attire. 1.2277 0.05050 101 82 15 4
3288 How about peel and eat shrimp for dinner followed by a game of Jenga?...for money 1.2277 0.04850 101 81 17 3
3289 Is this how you plan on clawing your way to the top? 1.2277 0.05050 101 82 15 4
3290 And all these years I called you “Ham Handed”. 1.2277 0.05050 101 82 15 4
3291 Your territory is not in need of expansion Brian. 1.2277 0.04423 101 79 21 1
3292 I'm having serious issues with your #metoo therapist. 1.2277 0.05243 101 83 13 5
3293 But our anniversary slipped your mind. 1.2277 0.04642 101 80 19 2
3294 I prefer to think of myself as upper crust. 1.2277 0.05243 101 83 13 5
3295 Sorry I couldn't pick up the tab. 1.2277 0.05428 101 84 11 6
3296 I wonder if my dating app has a clawback feature? 1.2277 0.05243 101 83 13 5
3297 Now I see why you never text me back--pure shellfishness! 1.2277 0.05243 101 83 13 5
3298 Why in the world would you ask for "crab claws only" ! 1.2277 0.05050 101 82 15 4
3299 I still think boxing gloves would be more effective. 1.2277 0.05050 101 82 15 4
3300 I said, at least a 5 ft distance! 1.2277 0.04642 101 80 19 2
3301 Last week you ordered pig's feet. Today, crab claws. What'll it be next week...beef tongue? 1.2277 0.05428 101 84 11 6
3302 I'm sick of getting thrown out of every restaurant that has a lobster tank that you feel the need to dive into. AND THEN, blaming it on a zagillion years of DNA programming! 1.2277 0.04642 101 80 19 2
3303 I've told you a thousand times my dad collects *mobster* memorabilia. 1.2277 0.05428 101 84 11 6
3304 I knew I should have married someone with opposing thumbs... 1.2277 0.04850 101 81 17 3
3305 Of course I'm upset! They *know* we don't eat shellfish! 1.2277 0.04423 101 79 21 1
3306 If this is how you come to our first date, I wonder what you'll look like for a divorce. 1.2277 0.05050 101 82 15 4
3307 ‘You’re not clawing your way out of this one, Dennis.’ 1.2277 0.04423 101 79 21 1
3308 Face it, John! Being caught red handed usually results in an arrest. You were lucky I was here to vouch for you! 1.2277 0.04850 101 81 17 3
3309 Don't pull your J. Alfred Prufrock act again. 1.2277 0.04642 101 80 19 2
3310 That's it for me! Absolutely no more internet dating! And I'm getting an app that can block incoming hands-free texts! Claude, another thing: Don't you get why you should change your name?! 1.2277 0.04850 101 81 17 3
3311 Aw, c'mon! I thought Crustacean was a sect. And you open jars for a living? 1.2277 0.04850 101 81 17 3
3312 Of course it hurt! 1.2277 0.05050 101 82 15 4
3313 Your scarlet pincers are just as embarrassing for me. 1.2277 0.04642 101 80 19 2
3314 What were you saying about Gregor Samsa? 1.2277 0.05243 101 83 13 5
3315 Not funny, 'Rock Lobster' is so passe' 1.2277 0.04850 101 81 17 3
3316 #fallsoutclawsout is never going to trend, Brad. 1.2277 0.04850 101 81 17 3
3317 No, I have no idea how you got crabs! 1.2277 0.04310 101 81 18 2
3318 jefhrbgyfvbgyrhnb9geryheuejhutrhfhtgerhfvtre3fygfretchnjdkslkdjfn 1.2277 0.05050 101 82 15 4
3319 So you don't hold hands in public and you don't drive. I don't see how this date can possibly get any worse. 1.2277 0.04423 101 79 21 1
3320 I can’t believe Betty served crab bisque. 1.2277 0.04850 101 81 17 3
3321 I'm not so keen on the shorts, but you could at least have worn a shirt with a collar. 1.2277 0.04194 101 78 23 0
3322 It’s obvious why I ask you to tie my shoes 1.2277 0.04850 101 81 17 3
3323 No, I had fun too...it’s just that some women don’t enjoy having their breasts played with. 1.2277 0.04850 101 81 17 3
3324 Before “Me Too”, I occasionally liked it when you pinched me. 1.2277 0.04850 101 81 17 3
3325 I'm just saying, I feel like I'm hiding under a rock with you. 1.2277 0.04850 101 81 17 3
3326 Her: "I'm crabby" Him: "You too, huh?" 1.2277 0.05243 101 83 13 5
3327 Okay - so I didn't say keep your CLAWS off me 1.2277 0.04850 101 81 17 3
3328 I said no PDA! 1.2277 0.04850 101 81 17 3
3329 Harold, I've told you a dozen times, I won't date a guy with the crabs! 1.2277 0.05050 101 82 15 4
3330 Once the primaries begin the electorate starts looking more closely at potential first spouses. 1.2277 0.04850 101 81 17 3
3331 I thought shaking hands was a socially acceptable custom for a first date. 1.2277 0.04850 101 81 17 3
3332 No, I do not want a hug !! 1.2277 0.04423 101 79 21 1
3333 How are things at the office? 1.2277 0.04850 101 81 17 3
3334 I’ve told you many times, Larry; if you insist on holding my hand in public, use your pincer! 1.2277 0.04423 101 79 21 1
3335 I swear-- you'll do anything to not hold hands in public. 1.2277 0.05243 101 83 13 5
3336 They were out of tails, really?! 1.2277 0.05050 101 82 15 4
3337 No. We are not having lunch at a Kosher deli. 1.2277 0.05243 101 83 13 5
3338 Just keep your hands off me! 1.2277 0.04642 101 80 19 2
3339 Pinching is so passé 1.2277 0.04423 101 79 21 1
3340 Just please don’t make me wear the stupid bib in public 1.2277 0.04850 101 81 17 3
3341 You know, you’ve been acting really crabby lately. 1.2277 0.04850 101 81 17 3
3342 You should try to be less shellfish sometimes 1.2277 0.04850 101 81 17 3
3343 You say they’re big in Brooklyn. But are they vegan? 1.2277 0.05050 101 82 15 4
3344 That’s not an excuse—so am I! 1.2277 0.04850 101 81 17 3
3345 You just "forgot" to bring the rubber bands, huh? 1.2277 0.04642 101 80 19 2
3346 Ugh you never hold my hands in public 1.2277 0.04423 101 79 21 1
3347 That damn genie sure took things literally Jon E. Kensington, CA 1.2277 0.05243 101 83 13 5
3348 Toxic clawsculinity. 1.2277 0.04642 101 80 19 2
3349 My mother worked at Red Lobster. 1.2277 0.04642 101 80 19 2
3350 I’m sorry I snapped at you 1.2277 0.05243 101 83 13 5
3351 You’ve just been really, I dunno...clingy. 1.2277 0.04850 101 81 17 3
3352 A bisque? Is that what you called me? So what do you mean by that? 1.2277 0.05050 101 82 15 4
3353 Uh, I don't remember you mentioning those in your profile on Match.com. 1.2277 0.04850 101 81 17 3
3354 I thought 'tenacity' was an admirable quality in your profile! 1.2277 0.04642 101 80 19 2
3355 I hope we get home before you change any more 1.2277 0.05243 101 83 13 5
3356 You say your name is Edward Scissorclaws? 1.2277 0.04850 101 81 17 3
3357 I wish you hadn't put those claws in our prenup. 1.2277 0.04423 101 79 21 1
3358 I tried to call you 1.2277 0.04850 101 81 17 3
3359 I just HATE it when you're a crab. 1.2277 0.04850 101 81 17 3
3360 I hope you're not planning on being crabby all evening... 1.2277 0.04642 101 80 19 2
3361 I thought Edward Lobsterhands was just his name! 1.2277 0.04850 101 81 17 3
3362 Well then, un-boil them. 1.2277 0.05050 101 82 15 4
3363 You didn’t have to get so snippy with me! 1.2277 0.04423 101 79 21 1
3364 You could at least stop trying to grab the check. 1.2277 0.04850 101 81 17 3
3365 You know I don’t like it when you act shellfishly. 1.2277 0.05050 101 82 15 4
3366 Foreplay is difficult 1.2277 0.05243 101 83 13 5
3367 2That saleswoman was practically salivating over you. 1.2277 0.04642 101 80 19 2
3368 I’m tired of clawing my way up in the Firm! 1.2277 0.04423 101 79 21 1
3369 How did you even set up a Tinder profile with those things? 1.2277 0.04850 101 81 17 3
3370 Get a rubber band. 1.2277 0.05243 101 83 13 5
3371 Ok !No groping 1.2277 0.04850 101 81 17 3
3372 Nobu doesn’t think it’s funny. I don’t think it’s funny. 1.2277 0.04850 101 81 17 3
3373 They all KNOW you're a blue blood, Timothy; no need to accentuate it. 1.2277 0.04850 101 81 17 3
3374 You just had to make fun of the lobsters in the tank didn't you? 1.2277 0.05243 101 83 13 5
3375 This superhero stuff is getting out of hand 1.2277 0.04642 101 80 19 2
3376 Stop snipping at me. 1.2277 0.04642 101 80 19 2
3377 I’ve told you time after time...you are not a plumber! 1.2277 0.05428 101 84 11 6
3378 I must hand it to you—you do act normal. 1.2277 0.04642 101 80 19 2
3379 God I’ll be glad when Lobtober is over. 1.2277 0.04850 101 81 17 3
3380 I get it. You're a lobsterman. Literally! 1.2277 0.05050 101 82 15 4
3381 I told you eating shellfish always gives you a bad reaction! 1.2277 0.05243 101 83 13 5
3382 You could have dressed nicer to meet my parents. 1.2277 0.04850 101 81 17 3
3383 You are always coming up with excuses to avoid rubbing my feet! 1.2277 0.04642 101 80 19 2
3384 I just feel like I’m crawling backwards in circles with you.” 1.2277 0.05050 101 82 15 4
3385 Since you insisted we declaw the cat, it's time we do the same to you. 1.2277 0.04850 101 81 17 3
3386 They said you could keep the bib! 1.2277 0.04850 101 81 17 3
3387 When my friends say anything, you take their heads off. 1.2277 0.05243 101 83 13 5
3388 It's nickels, dimes, and the dollars that we have to worry about, not just pinching pennies. 1.2277 0.05050 101 82 15 4
3389 I know your dating profile said you were a little crabby but I'm still surprised. 1.2277 0.04642 101 80 19 2
3390 So you think you can claw your way to the top in those clothes? 1.2277 0.05243 101 83 13 5
3391 I thought you said they might get “clammy.” 1.2277 0.04850 101 81 17 3
3392 Why don't you just go and scuttle across the floors of silent seas? 1.2277 0.05050 101 82 15 4
3393 You never want to get sushi. 1.2277 0.05050 101 82 15 4
3394 I'M not the one who's being crabby! 1.2277 0.05050 101 82 15 4
3395 I bet you think you can claw your way to the top again 1.2277 0.05428 101 84 11 6
3396 I regret telling you that you remind me of Colin Farrell. 1.2277 0.04850 101 81 17 3
3397 Yeah, yeah, it's your 'spirit animal" 1.2268 0.04518 97 76 20 1
3398 When I asked you to be more spontaneous, this is not what I had in mind.” 1.2264 0.04698 106 85 18 3
3399 You’re shellfish in bed. 1.2245 0.05135 98 80 14 4
3400 When you want me to buy bread please stop asking me to "pinch a loaf". 1.2245 0.05135 98 80 14 4
3401 I had no idea that's what you intended to do when you requested two lobster claws to go. 1.2245 0.04707 98 78 18 2
3402 The game was yesterday, Brian. 1.2245 0.04478 98 77 20 1
3403 One little joke about your hands and you go MAGA on me. 1.2245 0.05135 98 80 14 4
3404 I should have listened when my mother said marry a rich one, not a po-boy 1.2245 0.04707 98 78 18 2
3405 No, you're the one who's crabby!! 1.2245 0.05135 98 80 14 4
3406 I don't know Rob, I'm pretty sure the invite said Kafka-ESQUE!! 1.2245 0.04925 98 79 16 3
3407 Why would you think it was okay to introduce me as 'Turf''? 1.2245 0.04707 98 78 18 2
3408 Never before in my life have I had to get my vagina fumigated after third base. 1.2245 0.05335 98 81 12 5
3409 Yeah, well, I think that Gregor Samsa would have at least been courteous enough to put this on his profile. 1.2245 0.05135 98 80 14 4
3410 We have to get you better mittens. 1.2245 0.04925 98 79 16 3
3411 You ALWAYS feel like seafood. I want a burger. 1.2245 0.05335 98 81 12 5
3412 Don't try to claw your way to the top mister, #Metoo. 1.2245 0.05135 98 80 14 4
3413 Keep your claws off of me, you freak! 1.2245 0.05135 98 80 14 4
3414 I will not dip your hands in butter when we hold hands in movie! 1.2245 0.05135 98 80 14 4
3415 Every time one of my friends has nearly climbed out of the tank, you reach up and pull them back down. 1.2245 0.04925 98 79 16 3
3416 You are such a shellfish penny pincher. 1.2245 0.04707 98 78 18 2
3417 For the last time, tickling is NOT my love language. 1.2245 0.04478 98 77 20 1
3418 We just have to face it. You’ve been typecast. 1.2245 0.04478 98 77 20 1
3419 At least we could hold hands when you were a Cheesehead. 1.2245 0.05335 98 81 12 5
3420 No, I didn't notice the "Lobster Clause" in your contract! 1.2245 0.04707 98 78 18 2
3421 You're sleeping on the couch until you claw your way back from this one. 1.2245 0.04478 98 77 20 1
3422 I was embarrassed by how you ate all those frog legs. 1.2245 0.04925 98 79 16 3
3423 Taking it 'to go' seems to mean something different to you" 1.2245 0.04925 98 79 16 3
3424 That's the last time I let you give me a 'massage.' 1.2245 0.04925 98 79 16 3
3425 Who am I in your little fantasy? Mrs Claws? 1.2245 0.04707 98 78 18 2
3426 Trust me, the superhero look is not working! 1.2245 0.04925 98 79 16 3
3427 I don't want the whole lobster" you said. "I just want the claws" you said 1.2245 0.04925 98 79 16 3
3428 It’s not what you said. It’s your table manners. 1.2245 0.04236 98 76 22 0
3429 All I said was I don't like you clawing at me in public. 1.2245 0.05135 98 80 14 4
3430 Hah! YOU'RE calling ME crabby?! 1.2245 0.04925 98 79 16 3
3431 Butter sauce? Really> 1.2245 0.05135 98 80 14 4
3432 This doesn’t help me decide whether I’d look good with a lob. 1.2245 0.04925 98 79 16 3
3433 Look, I just thought that finishing with a pinch was the way to go. 1.2245 0.04707 98 78 18 2
3434 Now is not the time to butter up to me. 1.2245 0.04707 98 78 18 2
3435 Pinch me again and you'll literally be in hot water. 1.2245 0.05335 98 81 12 5
3436 I'm sorry I'm the one to tell you Larry, but you lost your grip back there. 1.2245 0.05135 98 80 14 4
3437 I'm sorry. It was a pinch decision! 1.2245 0.05135 98 80 14 4
3438 If that's your idea of foreplay... 1.2245 0.04925 98 79 16 3
3439 This is why we can't have nice things. 1.2245 0.04925 98 79 16 3
3440 You couldn't do a boxing workout? 1.2245 0.05135 98 80 14 4
3441 Well, that makes two of us now. 1.2245 0.04236 98 76 22 0
3442 I know you had to claw your way to the top, but I don't like the trade-off! 1.2245 0.04707 98 78 18 2
3443 If you think you can claw your way back into this relationship, you've got another thing coming, and I don't mean a tail. 1.2245 0.05335 98 81 12 5
3444 I’m disappointed Gerald, I thought you of all people should have been able to win me that stuffed animal. 1.2245 0.05135 98 80 14 4
3445 So much for foreplay now! 1.2245 0.04707 98 78 18 2
3446 Hmph! Your profile said "merman". 1.2245 0.04925 98 79 16 3
3447 Boston sucks. 1.2245 0.05135 98 80 14 4
3448 Of course I feel duped! I thought "Art" was short for Arthur, not Arthropod! 1.2245 0.04707 98 78 18 2
3449 You’re endangered, and you never told me?! 1.2245 0.05135 98 80 14 4
3450 As soon as you saw Sheila, you just couldn't wait to get your claws on her. 1.2245 0.04707 98 78 18 2
3451 I am not putting on my sexy lingerie. What’s the difference? We are out of butter sauce anyway. 1.2245 0.04707 98 78 18 2
3452 The last place I want to be with you is in hot water 1.2245 0.05135 98 80 14 4
3453 I’m not saying you’re catfishing me, I just think you should have put your claws in your profile. 1.2245 0.04925 98 79 16 3
3454 I swear, I'm not contagious. 1.2245 0.04925 98 79 16 3
3455 That wasn't the shocker I was expecting. 1.2245 0.04925 98 79 16 3
3456 How about we discuss the phrase 'hold me tight' for starters.... 1.2245 0.04478 98 77 20 1
3457 I'm just saying you ought be less crabby at dinner. 1.2245 0.05529 98 82 10 6
3458 I'm tired of being called the crabby one in this relationship. 1.2245 0.04707 98 78 18 2
3459 Keep snapping at me and you may find yourself in some VERY hot water. 1.2245 0.05135 98 80 14 4
3460 NO!!!! This is not an acceptable alternative to keeping your clammy hands off of me!!!!!!!! 1.2245 0.04707 98 78 18 2
3461 Claude why must you take everthing so literal? 1.2245 0.04707 98 78 18 2
3462 We need to get out more....I'm tired of living like a hermit. 1.2245 0.04707 98 78 18 2
3463 definitely no nipple play tonight OK ! 1.2245 0.04925 98 79 16 3
3464 I liked it better when you were just ham-handed. 1.2245 0.04925 98 79 16 3
3465 I'm pregnent with your crustacean. 1.2245 0.04925 98 79 16 3
3466 I'll bet you find them handy in a pinch! 1.2245 0.04925 98 79 16 3
3467 I told you not to pinch that witch, "Your Boss." 1.2245 0.04925 98 79 16 3
3468 “Please do not anything about clawing your way out of this one.” 1.2245 0.04925 98 79 16 3
3469 You're taking the hands off clause too literally. 1.2245 0.04707 98 78 18 2
3470 How did you get your shirt on without stretching it? 1.2245 0.04707 98 78 18 2
3471 You didn’t tell me you sucked at foosball?! 1.2245 0.05135 98 80 14 4
3472 No--you're not dressed right to meet them. 1.2245 0.04925 98 79 16 3
3473 No, no, no. It was an idiom, and I just wanted you to put a little more energy into your career. 1.2245 0.04925 98 79 16 3
3474 You could have wished for beef tongue. 1.2245 0.04925 98 79 16 3
3475 No, my profile said I like White Claw! 1.2245 0.05135 98 80 14 4
3476 OK OK — I get it — no wedding rings 1.2245 0.05135 98 80 14 4
3477 Did the doctor say when you’d transform into a ‘Lobster Man’, with a job?!! 1.2245 0.05135 98 80 14 4
3478 It felt like the Rothsteins were glaring at you all dinner. 1.2245 0.05135 98 80 14 4
3479 I told you using gene modification to fix your hand problem was a bad idea. 1.2245 0.04925 98 79 16 3
3480 How about we just this once consider the girlfriend? 1.2245 0.04925 98 79 16 3
3481 Where's the rest of the poor thing? 1.2245 0.04925 98 79 16 3
3482 Do not pinch my tush again! 1.2245 0.04478 98 77 20 1
3483 I hope you are pleased with yourself. And to think, that was your third wish! 1.2245 0.05135 98 80 14 4
3484 Let’s go to MY restaurant, you said. We’ll have a fun time, you said. 1.2245 0.04707 98 78 18 2
3485 Tell me again how you became so successful? 1.2245 0.04707 98 78 18 2
3486 You had to cut the blue wire didn't you... 1.2245 0.04478 98 77 20 1
3487 Let me be absolutely clear, you're not my taste in men! 1.2245 0.04925 98 79 16 3
3488 How will you claw your way out of that one, Harry? 1.2245 0.04925 98 79 16 3
3489 It’s not our fault she’s allergic. 1.2245 0.05135 98 80 14 4
3490 Discover your very own Maine thing. 1.2245 0.05529 98 82 10 6
3491 Am I out of hot water yet? 1.2245 0.04925 98 79 16 3
3492 I get why your Tinder profile only consisted of headshots 1.2245 0.04478 98 77 20 1
3493 I told you not to wear the knee-length shorts. 1.2245 0.04925 98 79 16 3
3494 ''For god's sake, Dave. Get those things removed.'' 1.2245 0.04925 98 79 16 3
3495 I thought your profile said that you were slightly SELFISH! 1.2245 0.04707 98 78 18 2
3496 You could have at least warned me about your family.” 1.2245 0.04707 98 78 18 2
3497 Sure, NOW it's obvious the adoption agency was double-checking that I had "read THE clause," but you've got to admit the voicemail was tough to decipher. 1.2245 0.04925 98 79 16 3
3498 I can’t believe you went to pee and accidentally snipped your dick off with your lobster hands! 1.2234 0.05052 94 76 15 3
3499 You have a lot of nerve to call me a ‘crab’! 1.2222 0.04881 99 80 16 3
3500 You'll wear them until I say, you can take them off. 1.2222 0.04881 99 80 16 3
3501 Absolutely NO ONE believed in you’re in the Broadway cast of ‘SpongeBob SquarePants!’ 1.2222 0.04438 99 78 20 1
3502 For God’s sake, we are just going to see your mother-in-law 1.2222 0.05286 99 82 12 5
3503 What do you want me to do? The sunscreen washed off. 1.2222 0.04438 99 78 20 1
3504 You always grab the dessert before I can get a bite. 1.2190 0.04586 105 87 14 4
3505 Sorry darling, it's not my fault that I'm a catch. 1.2188 0.04730 96 77 17 2
3506 Frank, for the last time, I'm not the only one who guessed your secret identity, Lobster-Man! 1.2188 0.04730 96 77 17 2
3507 Claw Hand Luke? Jean Clawed Van Damme?" 1.2188 0.04730 96 77 17 2
3508 And I thought my mother was clingy... 1.2188 0.04957 96 78 15 3
3509 Not every problem can be solved with "a pinch of salt." 1.2188 0.04957 96 78 15 3
3510 Why can’t you just pinch like a normal pervert?! 1.2188 0.04730 96 77 17 2
3511 You really have to always grab the best parts, don't you!? 1.2188 0.04730 96 77 17 2
3512 Yeah, the street view van is coming, you couldn't just go with the horse head like everyone else? 1.2188 0.04845 96 80 12 4
3513 Look! Just because we're from Maine and your brother-in-law likes to brag about how your sister's mittens look like Michigan when he's drunk doesn't mean you have to go down that same rabbit hole. And it's too warm for mittens anyway! 1.2188 0.04492 96 76 19 1
3514 Even after I reminded you to take your allergy medication. 1.2188 0.05173 96 79 13 4
3515 Yes, Michael. Nova Scotia was a long time ago. Why do you persist in bringing it up? 1.2188 0.04957 96 78 15 3
3516 Molting season ended on Labor Day, you really need to find a new stylist. 1.2188 0.04730 96 77 17 2
3517 First thing I want to do is boil some water. 1.2188 0.04957 96 78 15 3
3518 And now I have a case of the crabs. 1.2188 0.04957 96 78 15 3
3519 I still don't want to move to Maine. 1.2188 0.04957 96 78 15 3
3520 I thought you said it was just a hobby. 1.2188 0.04957 96 78 15 3
3521 That comment was totally unclawed for! 1.2188 0.04957 96 78 15 3
3522 You're as aloof as your brother Edward. 1.2165 0.04687 97 78 17 2
3523 I'm not 'crabby', I'm not 'boiling mad', I just want to go home, OK? 1.2165 0.04910 97 79 15 3
3524 Why does stuff always have to happen to me? 1.2165 0.05124 97 80 13 4
3525 Why you can't behave like everyone else? 1.2165 0.05124 97 80 13 4
3526 I don't care what they cost , you are not touching me with those claws!! 1.2165 0.04910 97 79 15 3
3527 Couldn’t you just get the crabs like everyone else? 1.2165 0.05124 97 80 13 4
3528 You know "Pinch a Ginger Day" isn't mandatory, right? 1.2165 0.04571 97 80 14 3
3529 I just don't like being in a pinch. 1.2165 0.05330 97 81 11 5
3530 So now you're a Kafka fanboy? 1.2165 0.05330 97 81 11 5
3531 if you went full lobster once in a while, we’d probably still be together. 1.2151 0.05263 93 77 12 4
3532 The only place you coulda been a contender is on the waterfront. 1.2151 0.05263 93 77 12 4
3533 Honestly,it's the wearing shorts to dinner that annoys me the most. 1.2143 0.04412 98 78 19 1
3534 I can’t believe you dropped the ball 1.2143 0.04644 98 79 17 2
3535 The doctor warned you this could happen if you kept going to Crabfest. 1.2128 0.04987 94 77 14 3
3536 He'd better keep his claws off of me! 1.2128 0.04505 94 75 18 1
3537 I don’t see what the issue is...your eharmony requirement was to date a snappy dresser who’d clawed his way to success. 1.2128 0.05212 94 78 12 4
3538 I think it’s time to use some hand cream. 1.2128 0.04987 94 77 14 3
3539 caught red handed 1.2128 0.05634 94 80 8 6
3540 Whether you will be my 'current' will depend on what you can help me claw-back from my ex. 1.2128 0.04752 94 76 16 2
3541 Take no prisoners. Claw your way to the top! 1.2128 0.04987 94 77 14 3
3542 I'm warning you, keep those claws off of me. 1.2128 0.04752 94 76 16 2
3543 I'm boiling right now 1.2128 0.04987 94 77 14 3
3544 please don't tell me you are going out with that crab again. 1.2128 0.04987 94 77 14 3
3545 Well, you do everything to get out of doing the dishes. 1.2128 0.04505 94 75 18 1
3546 Your T. S. Eliot fetish has gotten WAY out of hand! 1.2128 0.04987 94 77 14 3
3547 You said your hands get clammy but now this?? 1.2128 0.05212 94 78 12 4
3548 Look, I'll be into it if you bring the butter next time. 1.2128 0.04987 94 77 14 3
3549 You're not kosher! 1.2128 0.04752 94 76 16 2
3550 Let me get this straight, your calling me crabby? 1.2128 0.04987 94 77 14 3
3551 I get it Pete you went to Chernobyl once 1.2128 0.04752 94 76 16 2
3552 Lobsterman is just not a super hero! 1.2128 0.04505 94 75 18 1
3553 Sorry if I'm being a little shellfish! 1.2128 0.04752 94 76 16 2
3554 And another thing, stop picking lint off my collar! 1.2128 0.04752 94 76 16 2
3555 Right. You traded with the lobster because you thought it would be interesting hear it play the violin. Then it swam away with my violin and I'm just supposed to explain this to my conductor. Maybe you could come along for back up. 1.2128 0.05427 94 79 10 5
3556 You're in hot water David. 1.2128 0.05212 94 78 12 4
3557 I know your clammy hands were an issue. But, this is not the right solution. 1.2128 0.05427 94 79 10 5
3558 The pincer movement was supposed to be very effective, but he was starting to have his doubts. 1.2128 0.04752 94 76 16 2
3559 So... We're not holding hands on this date? 1.2128 0.04752 94 76 16 2
3560 You didn’t include those clauses in the pre-nuptials 1.2128 0.05212 94 78 12 4
3561 I think you'll like this place--they say the crowd boils over. 1.2128 0.04752 94 76 16 2
3562 Coming from you, 'who's got your nose?' is not funny! 1.2128 0.04752 94 76 16 2
3563 I feel you baited me with the cheesehead; I'm not attracted anymore. 1.2128 0.04752 94 76 16 2
3564 All right, I could have been more sensitive, is “grouchy” better?!? Gosh, you’re so touchy these days... 1.2128 0.04752 94 76 16 2
3565 You’ve been eating way too much shellfish. 1.2128 0.05212 94 78 12 4
3566 Still, you should've texted me back. 1.2128 0.04987 94 77 14 3
3567 No foreplay tonight, hon. 1.2105 0.04708 95 77 16 2
3568 Claw removal surgery is painful, but, I'll do it for you! 1.2105 0.04940 95 78 14 3
3569 My mother told me to accept no imitation. 1.2091 0.04104 110 88 21 1
3570 Don't bite more than you can chew. 1.2088 0.05068 91 75 13 3
3571 I didnt mean to pinch you, the ad said "get a firm grip on life" 1.2088 0.05529 91 77 9 5
3572 This celibacy thing has gone too far, Shawn. 1.2088 0.04560 91 73 17 1
3573 Sorry Andy, but I'd hoped you were different. 1.2088 0.04821 91 74 15 2
3574 Did I NOT say CRAB claws! 1.2088 0.05068 91 75 13 3
3575 It was either this or the jumpsuit and I know you hate the jumpsuit. Richard Bruno, San Francisco, CA 1.2088 0.04425 91 75 14 2
3576 I told you that if you didn't stop eating so much lobster, you'd turn into one. 1.2088 0.05303 91 76 11 4
3577 I don't care if you were born with them, keep your claws to yourself! 1.2088 0.05303 91 76 11 4
3578 Ya think you're some big superhero, gonna take the law into your own claws. 1.2083 0.05322 96 81 10 5
3579 I'm done venting. You can put your claws away. 1.2083 0.04663 96 78 16 2
3580 Please don't ever pinch me again. 1.2083 0.04663 96 78 16 2
3581 You've really taken this 'All you can eat thing' too far." 1.2083 0.03895 96 78 18 0
3582 What kind of hot water are you in now? 1.2083 0.04422 96 77 18 1
3583 Could you not just wear mitts like a normal person? 1.2083 0.04663 96 78 16 2
3584 You think I'm EVER going to let you feel me up again? 1.2083 0.05112 96 80 12 4
3585 Since you insist on being all 'crabby and grabby' you might as well dress the part! 1.2083 0.04422 96 77 18 1
3586 It was a horrible date. The restaurant didn’t have drawn butter and you were a bit handsy with the server. 1.2083 0.05322 96 81 10 5
3587 My voicemail said I think we need to talk about you being selfish, not shellfish. 1.2083 0.04893 96 79 14 3
3588 They said, 'Pincer,' not 'Pinch her.' 1.2083 0.05322 96 81 10 5
3589 Why do you ask if I'm familiar with David Foster Wallace? 1.2083 0.04893 96 79 14 3
3590 I wished you stop being so shellfish all the time. 1.2083 0.04893 96 79 14 3
3591 You are right, crab is the new sexy 1.2083 0.04422 96 77 18 1
3592 Really? You actually thought this would help you “claw” your way to the top? 1.2083 0.04893 96 79 14 3
3593 I'm through with X-Men. 1.2083 0.04422 96 77 18 1
3594 Actually, we are quite compatible. 1.2083 0.05112 96 80 12 4
3595 Well, I thought the surgery was a success. 1.2083 0.05112 96 80 12 4
3596 I'm sure you can relate to feeling crabby. 1.2083 0.05322 96 81 10 5
3597 That's not what I meant when I said I wanted crab claws. 1.2083 0.04893 96 79 14 3
3598 I emailed you the audition sheet, Tim. Which part of ‘CLAUS, The Musical’ did you NOT understand? 1.2083 0.04893 96 79 14 3
3599 If you didn’t feel the need to stick your claws in everything, we could stay at parties longer. 1.2083 0.04893 96 79 14 3
3600 How could you just stand there while he had his paws all over me? 1.2083 0.04422 96 77 18 1
3601 Don’t try anything with those pinchers buddy! 1.2065 0.04897 92 77 10 4
3602 #MeToo 1.2065 0.04773 92 75 15 2
3603 If you think that's all a girl wants is to have her ass pinched, then you really are a crustacean. 1.2065 0.05017 92 76 13 3
3604 That's so typical of Claire, inviting us to a seafood buffet. 1.2065 0.04516 92 74 17 1
3605 The bull behaved better in that china shop! 1.2065 0.05017 92 76 13 3
3606 Is your lack of opposable thumbs REALLY the reason you haven’t put a ring on it? 1.2065 0.04773 92 75 15 2
3607 They know I only date Cancers. I'll just tell them I met you on Crustacean Mingle. 1.2065 0.04773 92 75 15 2
3608 You had to opt for lobster claws instead of a lizard's tongue. 1.2065 0.04773 92 75 15 2
3609 I swear, David -- This is the last time I'm paying your bail. 1.2065 0.05250 92 77 11 4
3610 She was right. Around women, you're all claws. 1.2065 0.05473 92 78 9 5
3611 Why is it you never come prepared with rubber bands? 1.2065 0.04773 92 75 15 2
3612 Ok Edward, I understand. But when you told me you had something in common with Johnny Depp, I thought of something else. 1.2065 0.04516 92 74 17 1
3613 Looking for a life partner 1.2065 0.04773 92 75 15 2
3614 I just feel like our relationship was better when you had the rubber bands" 1.2065 0.05017 92 76 13 3
3615 I thought the dating service said your name was Claude. 1.2065 0.04244 92 73 19 0
3616 I’m never taking you out to eat again! 1.2065 0.05250 92 77 11 4
3617 I just hate it when you get all handsy with me. 1.2065 0.05250 92 77 11 4
3618 Honestly Tyler . Not even a pair of nice jeans? 1.2065 0.05017 92 76 13 3
3619 What part of vegan didn't you understand? 1.2065 0.05250 92 77 11 4
3620 I'd still prefer it if you wore the standard rubber bands when we go out. 1.2065 0.05250 92 77 11 4
3621 Come on John, get a grip -- you're over 30 1.2065 0.04773 92 75 15 2
3622 Cape Cod baseball season is over. Would you please take them off now? 1.2065 0.05017 92 76 13 3
3623 Why? Claws I said so. 1.2065 0.05017 92 76 13 3
3624 I appreciate the irony of cheering for a minor league baseball team called the Rock Lobsters, but I just can't sit through one of their games with you. 1.2065 0.04244 92 73 19 0
3625 Believe me. It's a lot more than just not being able to find gloves. 1.2065 0.05250 92 77 11 4
3626 I should have listened to my mother... 1.2065 0.04773 92 75 15 2
3627 You're the one who told me to act more selfish sometimes, I just misunderstood at first. 1.2065 0.04773 92 75 15 2
3628 You’re too rough when it comes to playing around down there. 1.2065 0.04773 92 75 15 2
3629 Your obsession with seafood is getting embarrassing! 1.2065 0.04516 92 74 17 1
3630 I'm sorry, I'm just not comfortable walking hand in claw. 1.2065 0.04773 92 75 15 2
3631 I'm sorry, but there's just no excuse for you not wearing your wedding ring. 1.2065 0.05250 92 77 11 4
3632 couldn't you have just asked for a doggy bag like everybody else? 1.2065 0.04516 92 74 17 1
3633 OK, I admit it. I would feel safer if you banded your hands. 1.2065 0.04516 92 74 17 1
3634 How many times have I told you to moisturize? 1.2065 0.04773 92 75 15 2
3635 I was speaking figuratively when I told you to keep your paws off of me! 1.2065 0.05250 92 77 11 4
3636 Babe! Babe! Yorgos Lanthimos shook my hand last night at the pub! 1.2065 0.05017 92 76 13 3
3637 I don’t care what fashion week recommends 1.2065 0.05017 92 76 13 3
3638 ''I TOLD YOU NOT TO GO FISHING WITH THOSE IDIOTS" 1.2065 0.05017 92 76 13 3
3639 If that’s how you’re going to act, the rubber bands are going back on. 1.2065 0.05017 92 76 13 3
3640 I knew our wedding vows had some strange claws' in them, but I should have read the fine print ............ 1.2065 0.05017 92 76 13 3
3641 Don't blame me: the neck massage was your mother's idea. 1.2065 0.05017 92 76 13 3
3642 Omg....I'm not a fan, but when I first saw them I thought you said BOXING! 1.2065 0.05017 92 76 13 3
3643 Every time we go out in public you wear those on purpose just to embarrass me. I warned you, no more button or zipper fly pants. 1.2065 0.05473 92 78 9 5
3644 So... how long do you think 'your Maine thing' is going to last, once you go back to work? 1.2065 0.04773 92 75 15 2
3645 I always thought your mother was a crusty old bat! 1.2065 0.05250 92 77 11 4
3646 you just HAD to go through with the hand transplant the weekend my parents are visiting 1.2065 0.05017 92 76 13 3
3647 You always get so crabby when you're hungry! 1.2065 0.05017 92 76 13 3
3648 No more trick-or-treating after this year. We all gotta grow up sometime, Josh. 1.2065 0.04773 92 75 15 2
3649 Hawaii or not, I'm not going to the Extreme Sports lobster wrestling championships with you. 1.2065 0.04773 92 75 15 2
3650 I'm against overfishing too but you broke a lot of glasses. 1.2065 0.04516 92 74 17 1
3651 Can't you keep your claws out of anything? 1.2065 0.04773 92 75 15 2
3652 That’s the last time we go antiquing without rubber bands. 1.2065 0.05473 92 78 9 5
3653 Don't lose the rubber bands again... 1.2065 0.04516 92 74 17 1
3654 Why do you have to be such a penny pincher? 1.2065 0.04516 92 74 17 1
3655 You really have put us in a pinch. 1.2065 0.04773 92 75 15 2
3656 We can’t even afford a crab dinner from that clinical study... 1.2065 0.05250 92 77 11 4
3657 Sorry, it was a clause in my contract. 1.2065 0.04516 92 74 17 1
3658 You owe me a new lamp. 1.2065 0.04773 92 75 15 2
3659 I am NOT going to see the midnight showing of Annie Hall again! 1.2065 0.05017 92 76 13 3
3660 At least I don’t have alligator arms! Justin NY, NY 1.2065 0.05250 92 77 11 4
3661 Harry, next time just ask! I'll be happy to undo my own bra clasp. 1.2065 0.04773 92 75 15 2
3662 Seriously?! You lost your hands in a seafood shop? 1.2065 0.05473 92 78 9 5
3663 All I said was that I wanted to get closer to the ocean... you took this too far! 1.2065 0.04516 92 74 17 1
3664 Holding hands, yes, that's romantic. Losing a finger, not so much. 1.2065 0.04516 92 74 17 1
3665 You could have mentioned them on your profile 1.2065 0.04773 92 75 15 2
3666 When you wrote "Consider the Lobster" on the dating site, I thought you meant the book. 1.2065 0.04773 92 75 15 2
3667 Okay I know I said I wanted a man who wasn’t “all hands” in the ad but this isn’t what I meant. 1.2065 0.05017 92 76 13 3
3668 Okay, I'll keep them off of you. However they're claws not paws and they're not dirty. 1.2065 0.05250 92 77 11 4
3669 "Seriously-Shoplifting?! Stop pinching items!" 1.2065 0.05017 92 76 13 3
3670 I just don't love lobster THAT way! 1.2065 0.05473 92 78 9 5
3671 The scratchy beard I put up with, but this? This will kill our romantic life, dead. 1.2065 0.04773 92 75 15 2
3672 I told you my parents wouldn't think we were kosher. 1.2065 0.04773 92 75 15 2
3673 I know you have an unusual condition, but do you really have to scream every time you see a dish of melted butter? 1.2065 0.05017 92 76 13 3
3674 You’re the one that said you bet I couldn’t pinch an inch. 1.2065 0.04516 92 74 17 1
3675 I'm just sayin...if someone gave me a chance for a superpower, I would not pick lobster boy. Drew Bridges, Wake Forest, NC 1.2065 0.05017 92 76 13 3
3676 Let's face it Larry, this will never work. I just have to have a hot tub, and you, well... 1.2065 0.05473 92 78 9 5
3677 Well, who's being crabby now? 1.2065 0.05250 92 77 11 4
3678 Remember that Friends episode where Phoebe says Ross is Rachel’s lobster?” “Again, no. Please stop following me 1.2065 0.05017 92 76 13 3
3679 After my conviction for shoplifting l have to wear these. 1.2065 0.05250 92 77 11 4
3680 Well Jonathan,... you're not in Bangor, and nobody here knows the Lobstas are in the playoffs..... 1.2065 0.05250 92 77 11 4
3681 Now your hands won’t get you into anymore trouble. 1.2065 0.04773 92 75 15 2
3682 Displaying that you know that you are in hot water with me was a bit hit with our therapist, huh, bottom feeder. 1.2065 0.05473 92 78 9 5
3683 Well, you kept telling me I was such a crab, so I figured I’d play the part. 1.2065 0.04516 92 74 17 1
3684 The next time for the lobsters or shoplift smaller ones. 1.2065 0.05250 92 77 11 4
3685 This time, keep your hands to yourself! 1.2065 0.04773 92 75 15 2
3686 Nope, no grope. 1.2065 0.05017 92 76 13 3
3687 Let’s see how the “Sweet Science” deals with a PhD in Bioengineering... 1.2065 0.05017 92 76 13 3
3688 I wanted you to come out of your shell Thomas Hurley - Hopewell NJ 1.2065 0.05250 92 77 11 4
3689 It beggars belief that you have the gall to accuse ME of being crabby. 1.2065 0.05473 92 78 9 5
3690 you had to pinch the waitress` butt didn't you. 1.2065 0.05017 92 76 13 3
3691 You'd think in this day and age society would be more accepting of lobster-people. 1.2065 0.05017 92 76 13 3
3692 I see the Clarks ahead - just keep walking perhaps they wouldn’t notice us 1.2065 0.04773 92 75 15 2
3693 I know it was you, Gary. My backside wouldn’t hurt nearly as much if ANYONE else had pinched it. 1.2065 0.04516 92 74 17 1
3694 This couple's massage class is a bad idea. 1.2065 0.05017 92 76 13 3
3695 You just are not handy. 1.2065 0.05017 92 76 13 3
3696 Just because I said I loved lobster, doesn't mean you can claw and pinch me!" Wes Dingman, North Creek, N 1.2065 0.04516 92 74 17 1
3697 I told you not to get snippy in there. 1.2065 0.05017 92 76 13 3
3698 It's embarrassing when you spill drinks on yourself. 1.2065 0.04773 92 75 15 2
3699 First time in NY? I could show you some great underwater spots. 1.2065 0.05017 92 76 13 3
3700 You've changed, John. 1.2065 0.05017 92 76 13 3
3701 We needed crushers not pincers to close this deal. 1.2059 0.04258 102 82 19 1
3702 Those were your best pants. 1.2045 0.04891 88 72 14 2
3703 My mother caught me at it. This is my punishment 1.2045 0.05399 88 74 10 4
3704 Couldn't you at least TRY for a legit excuse not to tip? 1.2045 0.05399 88 74 10 4
3705 Last week it was a Rhino horn. I think you're trapped in your own delusions. 1.2045 0.04891 88 72 14 2
3706 I can't believe you asked for a fork. 1.2045 0.04617 88 71 16 1
3707 I really hope you can keep your claws off my friends! 1.2045 0.04617 88 71 16 1
3708 When you said you had to claw you're way to the top, I thought that meant you were a hard worker. 1.2045 0.05152 88 73 12 3
3709 Arnie, you are dressed way too casual to claw your way to the top." 1.2045 0.05152 88 73 12 3
3710 Oh no. A fly just wasn't good enough for you! 1.2045 0.04891 88 72 14 2
3711 Corporate loyalty can go too far, Jim. 1.2045 0.04325 88 70 18 0
3712 I warned you not to use the jacuzzi after your workout. 1.2045 0.05399 88 74 10 4
3713 If I told you once I've told you a thousand times---DON'T SHAKE HANDS!!! 1.2045 0.04891 88 72 14 2
3714 You've been acting even more crabby than usual. 1.2045 0.04891 88 72 14 2
3715 Next time, use cold water 1.2045 0.05636 88 75 8 5
3716 Seriously? You're working there again next summer? 1.2045 0.04617 88 71 16 1
3717 When you asked if I like Lobster Claws I didn't think you meant on you. 1.2045 0.05399 88 74 10 4
3718 What do you mean you don't have crabs? I caught you red handed! 1.2045 0.05152 88 73 12 3
3719 It's like cannibalism when you order lobster. 1.2045 0.05399 88 74 10 4
3720 But Tom felt like standing his ground that day. Nevermind that he was not quite sure what exactly it was he was insisting on. 1.2045 0.04011 88 74 12 2
3721 Do you have to take everything I say so literally? 1.2045 0.04473 88 73 13 2
3722 Don’t ever expect to get to second base with ME. 1.2045 0.04617 88 71 16 1
3723 When you looked into the lobster's eyes, screamed "It's my mother!" and waved those fake claws in the air, did you expect them to laugh? You owe me for the check and your bail. 1.2045 0.04891 88 72 14 2
3724 I knew it was too soon to take you out of the tank 1.2045 0.04891 88 72 14 2
3725 You have caught crabs, haven’t you? 1.2045 0.04891 88 72 14 2
3726 You know, the effects of global warming are happening much sooner than I expected. 1.2045 0.04325 88 70 18 0
3727 I said the tails,get the tails, they're a better fit, but you never listen. 1.2045 0.05399 88 74 10 4
3728 I don't think your playing "Santa Claws" at the Christmas Party is so funny. 1.2045 0.04617 88 71 16 1
3729 Get a job, you're not getting your claws into me! 1.2045 0.05636 88 75 8 5
3730 It’s just that every time we socialize, you have your claws out for somebody. 1.2045 0.04891 88 72 14 2
3731 So when we get there put the squeeze on them. 1.2045 0.04891 88 72 14 2
3732 You know that’s not what I meant when I said “You really. Need to get a grip! 1.2045 0.05152 88 73 12 3
3733 You said you were in the mood for lobster. 1.2045 0.05152 88 73 12 3
3734 You'll never get that job with Allstate. 1.2045 0.04891 88 72 14 2
3735 When you said you'd mate for life, I just thought it'd be easier... 1.2045 0.05152 88 73 12 3
3736 Claude only laughed because he was being polite. 1.2045 0.04617 88 71 16 1
3737 This isn't what I expected when you said Lobsterfest was back. 1.2045 0.05152 88 73 12 3
3738 DON'T EVEN TRY TO CLAW YOUR WAY OUT OF IT! 1.2045 0.05399 88 74 10 4
3739 Empathy yes, this no. 1.2045 0.05152 88 73 12 3
3740 I don't think we should do this again, you were a little crabby tonight 1.2045 0.05152 88 73 12 3
3741 Do you remember where you last put your keys 1.2045 0.05636 88 75 8 5
3742 Didn't I tell you not to come crawling back? 1.2045 0.04891 88 72 14 2
3743 No, I said I wanted to see "JAWS" 1.2045 0.05152 88 73 12 3
3744 You can't treat me like I'm some cheap theriomorphic-Nerval-phile. 1.2045 0.05152 88 73 12 3
3745 It's always easier for men to understand the binary number system. 1.2045 0.05399 88 74 10 4
3746 Clawed, yes Janine. I’m boiling mad over the way you acted at dinner. 1.2045 0.04617 88 71 16 1
3747 Of course it’s not about that. I’m just not in relationship mode right now. 1.2045 0.04891 88 72 14 2
3748 You know, I''m really getting tired of buttoning your pants and buckling your belt 1.2045 0.04891 88 72 14 2
3749 Why can't you be like the other guys and just root for a sports team? 1.2045 0.04891 88 72 14 2
3750 Well, I guess the party was sort of over anyway when you acted out “grabby.” 1.2022 0.04842 89 73 14 2
3751 That's what you get if you tell them you're sort of seeing someone. 1.2022 0.04842 89 73 14 2
3752 This is the third time this week you forgot your rubber bands. 1.2022 0.04842 89 73 14 2
3753 You could be a bit less defensive. 1.2022 0.05099 89 74 12 3
3754 And I thought having clammy hands was bad... 1.2022 0.05343 89 75 10 4
3755 Yes. The rubber bands go back on when we're in bed. 1.2022 0.04842 89 73 14 2
3756 Fine... we don't need to hold hands 1.2022 0.04842 89 73 14 2
3757 I hope they an sew it back on. 1.2022 0.05343 89 75 10 4
3758 Well, excuse me if I made a scene back there, I told you I was not comfortable with going to a sea food restaurant. 1.2022 0.04570 89 72 16 1
3759 I’d like more that a pinch. 1.2022 0.05099 89 74 12 3
3760 How could you go and pinch her like that? We should have never taken those rubber bands off. 1.2022 0.04570 89 72 16 1
3761 Do you always have to snap at me?! 1.2022 0.05099 89 74 12 3
3762 Really? You should have them banded before you hurt yourself! 1.2022 0.04570 89 72 16 1
3763 I'm sorry, but they're just not kosher. 1.2022 0.04842 89 73 14 2
3764 I don’t know what was more embarrassing - the cargo shorts of you picking a fight with “Mr. Big Foam Hulk Hands”. 1.2022 0.05099 89 74 12 3
3765 I don't care how difficult it is. I won't go in another public rest room with you. 1.2022 0.05099 89 74 12 3
3766 You’re incredibly clingy, but your meat is delicious. 1.2022 0.05099 89 74 12 3
3767 Don't be naive, Brian - he's clearly just buttering you up. 1.2022 0.04842 89 73 14 2
3768 I'm more concerned with your garlic butter moisturizer, to tell you the truth. 1.2022 0.05099 89 74 12 3
3769 Henry, sometimes you can be so shellfish. 1.2022 0.04842 89 73 14 2
3770 Those are going to make it even harder to convince my parents you're not a bottom-dweller. 1.2022 0.04842 89 73 14 2
3771 You made a scene at the B-52s concert! 1.2022 0.04570 89 72 16 1
3772 I hate it when you’re grabby. 1.2022 0.05099 89 74 12 3
3773 This should make carrying my bags easier for you 1.2022 0.05099 89 74 12 3
3774 Your going to wear those until you learn to keep your hands off me 1.2022 0.05343 89 75 10 4
3775 Shorts? You're going to stand out like a sore thumb. 1.2022 0.04842 89 73 14 2
3776 Out here you're so proper but at my place it's all hands when the gloves come off. 1.2022 0.05343 89 75 10 4
3777 Your feet are not an option. 1.2022 0.05343 89 75 10 4
3778 What clause in the prenup? 1.2022 0.04570 89 72 16 1
3779 So, tell me why you thought the lobster claw transplant was a good idea? 1.2022 0.05099 89 74 12 3
3780 Don’t be so crabby! 1.2022 0.05343 89 75 10 4
3781 No, I don’t think pots should be illegal! 1.2022 0.04570 89 72 16 1
3782 We'll try again. With the rubber bands on. 1.2022 0.04842 89 73 14 2
3783 That's the last time you're going to the nail salon on your own. 1.2022 0.04570 89 72 16 1
3784 Year, well, I for one LIKE melted butter. 1.2022 0.04842 89 73 14 2
3785 Just keep walking straight ahead 1.2022 0.05099 89 74 12 3
3786 Have you been taking my calcium supplements again? 1.2022 0.04570 89 72 16 1
3787 Can you believe that Jeweler? How can we choose the right wedding set if we’re not allowed to try the rings on! 1.2022 0.04570 89 72 16 1
3788 Clawing my way to the top didn't work out! 1.2022 0.04842 89 73 14 2
3789 Despite not having met your deductible, you still should call your dermatologist. 1.2022 0.05099 89 74 12 3
3790 Seriously, Julie? You're 'boiling mad' because I'm wearing white pants after Labor Day? 1.2022 0.05099 89 74 12 3
3791 Size does matter! Haven’t you ever heard of a g spot. 1.2022 0.05343 89 75 10 4
3792 You thought Red Lobster 'all you can eat' was a good idea? 1.2022 0.04842 89 73 14 2
3793 You're were a little hands'y back there Steve. 1.2022 0.05577 89 76 8 5
3794 'Suitable donor' my ass. 1.2022 0.05099 89 74 12 3
3795 You know, I find it a little shellfish that you’re insisting we get a place by the bay. 1.2022 0.05577 89 76 8 5
3796 If you don't put the rubber bands back on, no love tonight! 1.2022 0.04842 89 73 14 2
3797 Admit it. They caught you red handed! 1.2022 0.05099 89 74 12 3
3798 I think a lobster T-shirt would have been more appropriate 1.2022 0.04570 89 72 16 1
3799 Just let me do the talking. We're not agreeing to a clawback provision. 1.2022 0.04570 89 72 16 1
3800 I'M CRABBY????????? No, no, no, n-n-no, YOU are BEING CRABBY! 1.2022 0.05099 89 74 12 3
3801 The shorts are "bleh", but the lobster claws are actually kind of snappy. 1.2022 0.04842 89 73 14 2
3802 Look—your family's just really expensive, and they're way too tough to crack. 1.2022 0.04842 89 73 14 2
3803 Honestly Wayne, our one nice dinner out, couldn’t you just humor me and worn long pants? 1.2022 0.04842 89 73 14 2
3804 It seems to me this goes far beyond simply being a "seafood lover." 1.2022 0.04282 89 71 18 0
3805 Go ahead-let's see how you try to claw your way out of this one. 1.2022 0.05099 89 74 12 3
3806 I only asked for a trim, Robert. 1.2022 0.05343 89 75 10 4
3807 Why can't you be like your father, he clawed his way to the top of his profession? 1.2022 0.05099 89 74 12 3
3808 Now all Pleasantville knows you love your mittens more than me. 1.2022 0.04842 89 73 14 2
3809 Hands Accross America ! Ann J Hulyo 1.2022 0.05099 89 74 12 3
3810 I’ve had it with creepy guys—do not pinch me again! 1.2022 0.05343 89 75 10 4
3811 Make sure you just pinch my ass. You’re not the Donald ! 1.2022 0.05099 89 74 12 3
3812 Keep this up and I’ll get the rubber bands 1.2022 0.04570 89 72 16 1
3813 I said I wanted you to be MY lobster, not A lobster. 1.2022 0.04842 89 73 14 2
3814 ‘ I’ve heard better pickup lines from a cheese-head.’ 1.2022 0.05099 89 74 12 3
3815 Yes, maybe my heart wasn't quite in the whole "kiss the enchanted lobster" thing. But there is no way in HELL I am going to "finish the job," as you so euphemistically put it. 1.2022 0.04570 89 72 16 1
3816 Like I said before, you'd better keep your claws off me! 1.2022 0.04842 89 73 14 2
3817 Even the Mets are not interested - you should perhaps consider a different sport. 1.2022 0.04570 89 72 16 1
3818 Prenuptial clawback clause invoked! 1.2022 0.04570 89 72 16 1
3819 So tell me again, how many years of sign language did you say you have? 1.2022 0.05099 89 74 12 3
3820 I just can't take your clawing me all the time. 1.2022 0.04842 89 73 14 2
3821 I don’t believe I’m the only one getting all steamed up! 1.2022 0.05343 89 75 10 4
3822 I said to keep your paws off of me - this changes nothing. 1.2022 0.05343 89 75 10 4
3823 You think you're gonna claw your way back into my life? 1.2022 0.05099 89 74 12 3
3824 I've heard of clawing your way to the top, but this is ridiculous! 1.2022 0.05099 89 74 12 3
3825 Pinch me, I think I must be dreaming. 1.2022 0.05343 89 75 10 4
3826 I don't want anymore back rubs from you 1.2000 0.04525 90 73 16 1
3827 I TOLD you it wasn't worth trying to get the last bits of finger meat. 1.2000 0.04793 90 74 14 2
3828 I told you. Keep your damned claws to yourself. 1.2000 0.04793 90 74 14 2
3829 They are for WINTER cycling! You can take them off now! 1.2000 0.04793 90 74 14 2
3830 Your seafood allergy is totally out of hand. 1.2000 0.04525 90 73 16 1
3831 Tell me again how you got on that shirt. 1.2000 0.04240 90 72 18 0
3832 So, I dreamt I was a crustacean. 1.2000 0.04525 90 73 16 1
3833 No, for the last time, I do Not want to move to Maine! 1.2000 0.04525 90 73 16 1
3834 But I love lobster bisque. 1.2000 0.04793 90 74 14 2
3835 You wouldn’t even try the crab salad. 1.2000 0.04793 90 74 14 2
3836 Winter is two months away and all you can think of is mittens. 1.2000 0.05288 90 76 10 4
3837 I said, it’s okay to be a little bit “selfish” sometimes, Harold. 1.2000 0.04793 90 74 14 2
3838 Don't think you can claw your way back into my life like that. 1.2000 0.05519 90 77 8 5
3839 Well, you don't have to be so snippy. 1.2000 0.04793 90 74 14 2
3840 I told you those claws wouldn’t help us catch a cab! 1.2000 0.04525 90 73 16 1
3841 I can’t believe you forgot your wallet at home. 1.2000 0.05047 90 75 12 3
3842 I'm not being crabby, you are. 1.2000 0.05047 90 75 12 3
3843 I knew removing your tape in there was a bad idea. 1.2000 0.05047 90 75 12 3
3844 I told you the fish supplements might not work 1.2000 0.04240 90 72 18 0
3845 Even foreplay is out of the question now, Stanley! 1.2000 0.05288 90 76 10 4
3846 When I said ‘stop pawing me in public’, you knew what I meant! 1.2000 0.04793 90 74 14 2
3847 Yrs. ok. I admit it. I was trying to swipe left. Boil me! 1.2000 0.04793 90 74 14 2
3848 I'm just upset you didn't leave the lobster legs for me. 1.2000 0.04525 90 73 16 1
3849 Ok. Maybe you should just move to Maine. 1.2000 0.04793 90 74 14 2
3850 Like I said, Sandy, it's not even Christmas time yet. 1.2000 0.05047 90 75 12 3
3851 I'm just not in the mood for finger food tonight. 1.2000 0.04793 90 74 14 2
3852 I'm just saying, it's a kid's soccer game. You didn't have to shout "Rock Lobster!" every time they made a goal. 1.2000 0.04525 90 73 16 1
3853 She did not say "Keep your claws off me." She said I was "handsy." 1.2000 0.04793 90 74 14 2
3854 You never listen, Sean. I asked you to get us a couple of WHITE Claws. 1.2000 0.04240 90 72 18 0
3855 This is what you get for clawing your way to success. 1.2000 0.05288 90 76 10 4
3856 Yes but you're not 'my lobster.' 1.1977 0.05183 86 72 11 3
3857 Next time ask for paper. 1.1977 0.05183 86 72 11 3
3858 Have you noticed how everyone is crossing to the other side of the street? The IPO is gonna SUCK ! 1.1977 0.05183 86 72 11 3
3859 Must you always be so grabby at parties. 1.1977 0.05183 86 72 11 3
3860 I’d just a misunderstanding. I thought you said ‘I’m Claude.’ 1.1977 0.04912 86 71 13 2
3861 How will you shuck the oysters for the party? 1.1977 0.04912 86 71 13 2
3862 And you think you're going to stand behind me and hold my boobs??? NO WAY!! 1.1977 0.05183 86 72 11 3
3863 After his lobotomy, Lobo makes the decision he's a lobster and is now craving his favorite seafood. 1.1977 0.05183 86 72 11 3
3864 Fine, I promise I will never use 'Kafkaesque' improperly. 1.1977 0.05441 86 73 9 4
3865 Just because you read Kafka doesn’t mean you have to be so crabby. 1.1977 0.04625 86 70 15 1
3866 Edward Lobsterhands will be great"...yeah right..... 1.1977 0.05183 86 72 11 3
3867 We never hold hands anymore. 1.1977 0.04625 86 70 15 1
3868 When I told you to stop being so handsy in public, I didn't mean you should bankrupt us with expensive experimental lobster surgery. 1.1977 0.05183 86 72 11 3
3869 I'm sorry, but you're just a little too touchy feely for me. 1.1977 0.04625 86 70 15 1
3870 Well I told you she would give you clawmidiya 1.1977 0.05183 86 72 11 3
3871 Those your pre-nuptial claws? 1.1977 0.04625 86 70 15 1
3872 Forget about going to the All -You Can Eat pork buffet tomorrow. 1.1977 0.04912 86 71 13 2
3873 GO SCRATCH 1.1977 0.05687 86 74 7 5
3874 You put those hands on me again and I'm calling a cop. 1.1977 0.05441 86 73 9 4
3875 I hate having to butter you up anytime I want you to come out with me. 1.1977 0.04912 86 71 13 2
3876 You are not a bionically enhanced human, you are a bionically enhanced lobster! 1.1977 0.04912 86 71 13 2
3877 I'm really sorry Samantha, that I neglected to mention it in my profile" 1.1977 0.04912 86 71 13 2
3878 I may have been a little shellfish, but you’re acting awfully crabby 1.1977 0.04625 86 70 15 1
3879 Bisque please. 1.1977 0.05687 86 74 7 5
3880 Red-handed, Red-clawed, it's the same thing. You have been caught. Asshole. 1.1977 0.05183 86 72 11 3
3881 Don't lie to me, I saw you making eyes at that lobster in the tank, and all this time I just thought you liked that restaurant._ 1.1977 0.05441 86 73 9 4
3882 I told you that "all shellfish" diet was going to be a problem... 1.1977 0.04625 86 70 15 1
3883 That’s it. Next time we’re going for Thai food. 1.1977 0.04912 86 71 13 2
3884 It’s just that if you had phrased things differently you could have saved a wish for me. 1.1977 0.04912 86 71 13 2
3885 I thought you said the mitts were off. . . 1.1977 0.04320 86 69 17 0
3886 In what world could anyone be upset about 5% off Red Lobster for life? 1.1977 0.04625 86 70 15 1
3887 You can try all you like to claw me back, but it's over! 1.1977 0.04625 86 70 15 1
3888 You wouldn't feel the same about that if things were reversed and I had shark's teeth. 1.1977 0.05183 86 72 11 3
3889 Eventually, global warming is not only going to change the entire Ecco system, but us humans as well. 1.1977 0.04625 86 70 15 1
3890 Do you expect me to walk with you all the way back to Maine? 1.1977 0.04912 86 71 13 2
3891 Sorry, but I need a man who can give me a soft caress. 1.1977 0.05441 86 73 9 4
3892 You never hold my hand anymore. Why are you so shelfish, all of the sudden? 1.1977 0.05183 86 72 11 3
3893 Serves you right for trying to get the last of the crabmeat bare-handed! 1.1977 0.04912 86 71 13 2
3894 I can live without hand holding, but how can you not even take a selfie? 1.1977 0.04912 86 71 13 2
3895 So, nobody guessed David Foster Wallace. Let it go. 1.1977 0.04912 86 71 13 2
3896 Next time I just wish you would keep your claws off other women! 1.1977 0.04625 86 70 15 1
3897 I’m sorry to hear you have clap. 1.1977 0.05441 86 73 9 4
3898 Next time, Rock, remember to put on your rubber bands. 1.1977 0.04912 86 71 13 2
3899 I know those tanks look like death row — but for everyone else it’s just dim sum. 1.1977 0.04912 86 71 13 2
3900 I told you not to be so handsy with Elphaba 1.1977 0.05183 86 72 11 3
3901 It's just basic common sense... don't be hungry for your final genie wish! 1.1977 0.04912 86 71 13 2
3902 And you always complain that my gloves are too expensive! 1.1959 0.04308 97 79 17 1
3903 So you told the Genie you wanted Ann to be a princess and he thought you said ... 1.1954 0.04116 87 72 14 1
3904 I'm just saying 'surgeon' may not have been the best career move. 1.1954 0.04861 87 72 13 2
3905 Dear Lord, I said I wanted you to "Paw me" not "Claw me". You look ridiculous, Stuart. 1.1954 0.04861 87 72 13 2
3906 The first rule of Lobster Law Fight Club is: You do not talk about Lobster Claw Fight Club. 1.1954 0.05128 87 73 11 3
3907 Mother said I was a fool for dating a Miskatonic boy. 1.1954 0.04578 87 71 15 1
3908 I'll show you what it really looks like to be crabby. 1.1951 0.05331 82 69 10 3
3909 No, cracking shellfish for me is NOT a love language. 1.1951 0.05607 82 70 8 4
3910 I don't give a damn what Jordan Peterson says! 1.1951 0.04403 82 66 16 0
3911 When are you going to grow up and stop molting? 1.1951 0.05041 82 68 12 2
3912 I'm sorry, but I just don't believe that you didn't give me crabs! 1.1951 0.05041 82 68 12 2
3913 All Hands on Deck. 1.1951 0.05331 82 69 10 3
3914 What? The waiter said we could keep them! 1.1951 0.05041 82 68 12 2
3915 Yes, a half-lobster is better than a half-fly 1.1951 0.04733 82 67 14 1
3916 I meant clause not claws. 1.1951 0.05607 82 70 8 4
3917 Lately, you’ve turned into such a crab. 1.1951 0.04733 82 67 14 1
3918 But what if I want to bite the hand that feeds me? 1.1951 0.04733 82 67 14 1
3919 Ugh, your mom can be so crabby. 1.1951 0.05041 82 68 12 2
3920 How will we afford all the butter, Jerry? 1.1951 0.05331 82 69 10 3
3921 I'm telling you we will not make it as a pickpocket team! 1.1951 0.05331 82 69 10 3
3922 Exactly what here looks like a silent sea? 1.1951 0.03656 82 69 12 1
3923 Are you sure it’s only pediculosis manus? 1.1951 0.04733 82 67 14 1
3924 In a pinch ?" That's your reason for being late 1.1951 0.04403 82 66 16 0
3925 How about some seafood tonight. 1.1951 0.04403 82 66 16 0
3926 Heavy petting does not include pinching 1.1951 0.04733 82 67 14 1
3927 No, I do NOT like being pinched and grabbed! 1.1951 0.05041 82 68 12 2
3928 That's not what I meant by a "no PDA" clause. 1.1951 0.05041 82 68 12 2
3929 I really don’t think I’ll ever be able to crack you, mister. 1.1951 0.05041 82 68 12 2
3930 Admit it, I caught you red-handed! 1.1951 0.05041 82 68 12 2
3931 I just think you're taking this Yorgos Lanthimos obsession a little far, ok? 1.1951 0.05041 82 68 12 2
3932 Shark Tank will love it you said! 1.1951 0.05041 82 68 12 2
3933 The nerve of her to call you handsy. 1.1951 0.04403 82 66 16 0
3934 I've never seen you so crabby 1.1951 0.05331 82 69 10 3
3935 Told you that no one would get that "Get Smart" joke! 1.1951 0.04403 82 66 16 0
3936 Honestly, how do you even go to the bathroom? 1.1951 0.04733 82 67 14 1
3937 Menopause and Menoclaws 1.1951 0.05331 82 69 10 3
3938 So, now you're telling me clarified butter is your kryptonite? 1.1951 0.05041 82 68 12 2
3939 I’m not happy with your crustacean in life. 1.1951 0.04733 82 67 14 1
3940 I’m not going to say it again. Keep your claws off me! 1.1951 0.04403 82 66 16 0
3941 No, I won't "Get the butter". 1.1928 0.04681 83 68 14 1
3942 And screw your T.S. Eliot! 1.1928 0.04681 83 68 14 1
3943 All this talk of butter is making me uncomfortable. 1.1928 0.04681 83 68 14 1
3944 Really? There's no substitute for White Claw. 1.1928 0.04681 83 68 14 1
3945 why do you always have behave so shellfish! 1.1928 0.05272 83 70 10 3
3946 I said. . . you were being too grabby, not crabby. 1.1928 0.04985 83 69 12 2
3947 I miss Bob Fosse. 1.1928 0.04985 83 69 12 2
3948 One claw touches me and impeachment proceedings begin... 1.1928 0.05272 83 70 10 3
3949 Okay, okay, I get why you found the Access Hollywood tape so disgusting. Now give me back my hands, please. 1.1928 0.05272 83 70 10 3
3950 I'm sorry I reacted that way at dinner, I just have this phobia about drawn butter. 1.1928 0.04681 83 68 14 1
3951 When you grew the beard, fine. But the hands? 1.1928 0.05272 83 70 10 3
3952 I was crabby and now you’re literally crabbier. And you don’t think you’re too over-competitive? 1.1928 0.05272 83 70 10 3
3953 Don’t even think to put a hand on me tonight... or ever. 1.1928 0.04985 83 69 12 2
3954 What about, “Please stop pinching me” did you not understand? 1.1928 0.05272 83 70 10 3
3955 Hollywood's 'It Couple' remained stylish even after Labor Day. 1.1928 0.04985 83 69 12 2
3956 Isn't this high season for those We're #1 foam hands?” 1.1928 0.05544 83 71 8 4
3957 Why are you so snappy today? 1.1928 0.05272 83 70 10 3
3958 My mother said you would be "handsy" but this .... 1.1928 0.04836 83 71 9 3
3959 You must remember to read all the fine print in the claws. 1.1928 0.05544 83 71 8 4
3960 Remember,this time don't shake hands with anybody. 1.1928 0.04985 83 69 12 2
3961 I am not impressed by you improving your grip strength. 1.1928 0.04522 83 70 11 2
3962 Even Biden learned to keep his hands in check. 1.1928 0.05272 83 70 10 3
3963 I can't believe you said on eharmony that you played the piano. 1.1928 0.05272 83 70 10 3
3964 Ok,I get it , you’re not a hand holder! 1.1928 0.04985 83 69 12 2
3965 We're moving in. The contract said "escape clause'. 1.1928 0.03619 83 70 12 1
3966 You had to order the lobster again! You know you are allergic! 1.1928 0.04681 83 68 14 1
3967 No, I do not think batteries would improve them. 1.1928 0.04356 83 67 16 0
3968 Every time you see a cracker we have to leave the restaurant. 1.1928 0.04681 83 68 14 1
3969 You don't have to use every "buy 1, get 1 free" coupon you find. 1.1928 0.04985 83 69 12 2
3970 Yeah sure, I'M the one who's crabby. 1.1928 0.05272 83 70 10 3
3971 When I said dress up for the party, I didn't mean you should wear your halloween costume. 1.1928 0.05272 83 70 10 3
3972 No, I don’t want a lobster roll in the hay. 1.1928 0.04985 83 69 12 2
3973 Don't get snappy with me or I'll eat you alive. 1.1928 0.04681 83 68 14 1
3974 I told you to get White Claws. 1.1928 0.04184 83 69 13 1
3975 Massage therapy not gonna happen. 1.1928 0.04985 83 69 12 2
3976 ''Honey, you can be so crabby sometimes." 1.1928 0.04985 83 69 12 2
3977 It isn’t exact science. 1.1928 0.04184 83 69 13 1
3978 Everytime. Everytime! We go to Red Lobster for a good time and you always have to do the 'Myyyy brotheeers" thing? You didn't even go to the Lobster Aquarium, you went to the Crabs like a misinformed loser. You're better than this Todd 1.1928 0.04985 83 69 12 2
3979 Just my luck. When Sue's husband got the clawback,they took a cruise. 1.1928 0.04985 83 69 12 2
3980 Don't even say the words, "G spot!" 1.1928 0.05544 83 71 8 4
3981 I should never have taken off those rubber bands... 1.1928 0.04681 83 68 14 1
3982 Am I the crabby to your patty? 1.1928 0.04681 83 68 14 1
3983 Working with this new firm is turning you into a real bottom feeder, Larry 1.1928 0.04681 83 68 14 1
3984 Why do you keep calling them "craws," they're "craws!" 1.1928 0.05272 83 70 10 3
3985 I knew we shouldn't have taken you to see The Little Mermaid, Sebastian. 1.1928 0.04985 83 69 12 2
3986 But John, the chef told you NOT to touch the lobster! 1.1928 0.05272 83 70 10 3
3987 Some people may think you look crabby but when I'm crabby everyone knows it. 1.1928 0.05272 83 70 10 3
3988 Why does Disney have to turn The Fugitive into an underwater kid's movie? 1.1913 0.04767 115 99 10 6
3989 And here I am with no lemon or butter in the house. 1.1905 0.05214 84 71 10 3
3990 We're not suited for each other, you're just a bottom feeder! 1.1905 0.05214 84 71 10 3
3991 This is not what I meant by 'pinching pennies' 1.1905 0.04631 84 69 14 1
3992 If I am crabby it's because you are. 1.1905 0.04631 84 69 14 1
3993 Ok, Mr. Fitness-trend-of-the-month. How much are your Crab Theory classes? 1.1905 0.04140 84 70 13 1
3994 You’re a very “shellfish” lover, Gregory. Haha. Get it? I’m makin fun of your deformity, ya little mutant bitch. 1.1905 0.04931 84 70 12 2
3995 I know it's not good for the environment, but you could still take a doggie bag. 1.1905 0.05214 84 71 10 3
3996 Worst foreplay ever. 1.1905 0.04931 84 70 12 2
3997 You are a dream; and I don't have to pinch myself. 1.1905 0.04931 84 70 12 2
3998 No crackin jokes all right! 1.1905 0.05738 84 73 6 5
3999 That's your excuse for everything. 1.1905 0.04631 84 69 14 1
4000 I told you the Crustacean Diet was extreme. 1.1905 0.04631 84 69 14 1
4001 Here's a 13th rule for Mr. Peterson: walking in lockstep with strangers is creepy. 1.1905 0.04931 84 70 12 2
4002 Stop denying it. I know it was you that pinched my ass. 1.1905 0.04931 84 70 12 2
4003 I just don't want to be one of those couples that are always holding hands. 1.1905 0.05482 84 72 8 4
4004 I didn't think you'd take'Get a grip on yourself' literally. 1.1905 0.04931 84 70 12 2
4005 There must be better ways to protest your company's clawbacks! 1.1905 0.04931 84 70 12 2
4006 I refuse to call you Philip Clawhands. 1.1905 0.05214 84 71 10 3
4007 Well, I DON'T think they're the best part. 1.1905 0.04310 84 68 16 0
4008 My last on-line date had Russian hands and Roman fingers. 1.1905 0.05214 84 71 10 3
4009 You know I am allergic to shellfish 1.1905 0.05214 84 71 10 3
4010 You take lobster fest too seriously. 1.1905 0.04631 84 69 14 1
4011 I guess you will do in a pinch. 1.1905 0.04310 84 68 16 0
4012 Big fan of Schindler's List? 1.1905 0.05214 84 71 10 3
4013 As she cradled her bleeding nipples, Helen scolded David for being "a little too grabby" in the movie theater. 1.1905 0.05738 84 73 6 5
4014 I told you I think you may be eating too much shellfish lately! 1.1905 0.05482 84 72 8 4
4015 It must have been tough growing up in the grotto. 1.1905 0.05482 84 72 8 4
4016 Bob, you realize the claws are the most tasty part. What am I going to do with the rest of you? 1.1905 0.04931 84 70 12 2
4017 So I told your cousin Shelly to keep his clammy hands to himself. 1.1905 0.04931 84 70 12 2
4018 I said I wanted a boyfriend with Roman hands, not Lobster paws! 1.1905 0.04310 84 68 16 0
4019 From now on you wear the rubber bands whenever we go out, NO exceptions 1.1905 0.05214 84 71 10 3
4020 I don't have a dirty vagina, dick. It's your fucking shellfish hands that are leaving the lingering smell. 1.1905 0.05482 84 72 8 4
4021 Clawed, when are you going to come completely out of your shell and talk to me? 1.1905 0.04631 84 69 14 1
4022 Don't try to butter me up, Derek. 1.1905 0.04931 84 70 12 2
4023 You and your penny pinching! 1.1905 0.05214 84 71 10 3
4024 Ugh, Jeff, I told you massive lobster claws were not legal in the boxing ring!!! 1.1905 0.04931 84 70 12 2
4025 I didn’t say I don’t like them. Of course I like them. I said you should have asked. 1.1905 0.05738 84 73 6 5
4026 The drugs are getting the best of you, Jimmy 1.1905 0.04310 84 68 16 0
4027 I told you to put sunblock on your hands. 1.1905 0.04631 84 69 14 1
4028 Bob,why do you always insist on singing 'Happy Talk' at the Karaoke? 1.1905 0.04931 84 70 12 2
4029 You could at least offered me a bib. 1.1905 0.04473 84 71 11 2
4030 No, this is not a good work around to "keep your hands to yourself". 1.1905 0.04931 84 70 12 2
4031 Must we go over this every time, eating lobster doesn't make you a cannibal. 1.1905 0.04631 84 69 14 1
4032 Your crab mentality is very obvious! 1.1905 0.04931 84 70 12 2
4033 They have a mind of their own. 1.1905 0.04931 84 70 12 2
4034 Do you always have be so crabby? 1.1905 0.05482 84 72 8 4
4035 I didn't know about your shellfish allergies.... 1.1905 0.04631 84 69 14 1
4036 Just keep those claws away from me - or the next thing you know I'll have them steamed, shelled and dripping with melted butter. 1.1905 0.05214 84 71 10 3
4037 They were easier to take before you stuck them in the boiling water. 1.1905 0.04931 84 70 12 2
4038 Oh yeah, like I didn't hear you doing the "let me crab you a napkin" joke to her, Frederick. 1.1905 0.05214 84 71 10 3
4039 I don't care if you are wearing them ironically, take those damn claws off! 1.1905 0.04631 84 69 14 1
4040 I knew there were two many clause in that prenuptial. 1.1905 0.05214 84 71 10 3
4041 Stop with the denials already. I caught you red handed. 1.1905 0.04931 84 70 12 2
4042 To eat! I thought you wanted some to eat! 1.1905 0.04631 84 69 14 1
4043 My bad. I thought you meant your name is Claude. 1.1905 0.04931 84 70 12 2
4044 Can’t we just quietly enjoy lobsterfest? 1.1905 0.05214 84 71 10 3
4045 Why couldn't it be "Talk like a pirate" day instead. 1.1905 0.04631 84 69 14 1
4046 No way am I trying to butter you up. 1.1905 0.04310 84 68 16 0
4047 I told you Karma would get you! 1.1905 0.05482 84 72 8 4
4048 Okay, I know it's disappointing, but can we agree that being a pick pocket is not your natural calling? 1.1905 0.04931 84 70 12 2
4049 Geez. It was just a compliment. I'm not trying to "butter you up." 1.1905 0.04931 84 70 12 2
4050 My mother was only kidding when she said you reminded her of Santa Claws. 1.1905 0.04931 84 70 12 2
4051 Are you still not talking to me? is it the claws? 1.1905 0.04931 84 70 12 2
4052 I think about how, with just a pinch of ambition, you would have been such a natural to claw your way to the top. 1.1905 0.04631 84 69 14 1
4053 Putting out feelers is fine. But you're getting way too handsy. 1.1905 0.05482 84 72 8 4
4054 That’s NOT what I meant by “Get a grip!”. 1.1905 0.04631 84 69 14 1
4055 No pinching! I’m in a crabby mood. 1.1905 0.04931 84 70 12 2
4056 You could have asked for a doggie bag. 1.1905 0.04631 84 69 14 1
4057 Look who's telling who who's crabby! 1.1905 0.04931 84 70 12 2
4058 I don't care that you're not kosher. 1.1905 0.04631 84 69 14 1
4059 I keep telling you. Can't you keep them to yourself? 1.1905 0.04631 84 69 14 1
4060 I'm cancelling your GQ subscription 1.1905 0.05214 84 71 10 3
4061 Coming home from the Molt Shoppe 1.1905 0.05214 84 71 10 3
4062 I thought you said you worked at Red Lobster! 1.1905 0.04931 84 70 12 2
4063 That's why I asked for a full body picture on your dating profile. 1.1905 0.04631 84 69 14 1
4064 We'll never be allowed in THAT Red Lobster again! 1.1905 0.04310 84 68 16 0
4065 There’s no such thing as butterphobia. 1.1905 0.04931 84 70 12 2
4066 No, this is no way to face my claustrophobia. 1.1905 0.04631 84 69 14 1
4067 Remember, you're just my subordinate claws. 1.1905 0.04310 84 68 16 0
4068 Please, not seafood again! 1.1905 0.05214 84 71 10 3
4069 You've got some nerve calling me crabby! 1.1905 0.05214 84 71 10 3
4070 If I had a hammer, I'd hammer in the morning, I'd hammer in the evening, all over those hands. 1.1905 0.05738 84 73 6 5
4071 You know you can just turn off your phone during dinner, right? 1.1905 0.04631 84 69 14 1
4072 We get it, you're the Rock Lobster 1.1905 0.04631 84 69 14 1
4073 Well, obviously my opinion didn't matter when I told you not to eat that cursed lobster roll. 1.1905 0.05482 84 72 8 4
4074 That game of "Would You Rather?" wasn't meant to be taken seriously. 1.1905 0.05214 84 71 10 3
4075 When were you going to tell me you had crabs? 1.1905 0.05214 84 71 10 3
4076 I have a crushtacean on you... and on my hands 1.1905 0.05214 84 71 10 3
4077 I HAVE HEARD OF RUSSIAN HANDS AND ROMAN FINGERS, BUT CLAWS? 1.1905 0.04931 84 70 12 2
4078 I didn't want to hold your "hand" anyway. 1.1905 0.05214 84 71 10 3
4079 You can insist on celebrating Lobsterfest when its our turn to buy, but you can't grab your wallet? 1.1905 0.04931 84 70 12 2
4080 I told you to watch the nipples!! 1.1905 0.05214 84 71 10 3
4081 My mother was right. Dont touch me. 1.1905 0.05482 84 72 8 4
4082 If you really loved me Gilbert, you wouldn't be afraid to hold my hand in public. 1.1905 0.04931 84 70 12 2
4083 What was the number bad things come in? 1.1905 0.05214 84 71 10 3
4084 I need a hammer lemon and butter. 1.1905 0.04310 84 68 16 0
4085 So you’re the crab, but i’m the poor schmuck who has to wear these ridiculous appendages. 1.1905 0.04931 84 70 12 2
4086 I don't care if you're in a crabby mood. You don't snap at my mother like that. 1.1905 0.04931 84 70 12 2
4087 No, we are not installing a melted butter dispenser in the jacuzzi.” Lloyd Berkowitz, Boca Raton, F 1.1905 0.04931 84 70 12 2
4088 I’m tired of hearing your excuses. Do something about it! 1.1905 0.05214 84 71 10 3
4089 Really Ralph, how do you expect me to bake Christmas cookies this year if I can't use butter! 1.1905 0.05214 84 71 10 3
4090 Everything is sore! You're on your own until you get over the lobster fetish. 1.1905 0.04931 84 70 12 2
4091 I’ve just had it with you. I told you no more time together if you don’t shave that scrawny beard off! 1.1905 0.05214 84 71 10 3
4092 All the better to pinch you with, my dear. 1.1905 0.04310 84 68 16 0
4093 You gave me crabs! 1.1905 0.05214 84 71 10 3
4094 No, I don't think that's how Aquaman worked, and I'd appreciate it if you stop insisting I call you "Ocean Master" Darren. 1.1905 0.05482 84 72 8 4
4095 The Costco special on drawn butter is too good to pass up. 1.1905 0.05214 84 71 10 3
4096 I just don't have a good feeling about this. 1.1905 0.04931 84 70 12 2
4097 When I said,”I’ll go with the lobster claws,” this isn’t what I had in mind. 1.1905 0.04931 84 70 12 2
4098 You're crabby. 1.1905 0.05214 84 71 10 3
4099 Grrrr—That's the last time we Flamenco! 1.1905 0.05482 84 72 8 4
4100 Yeah, right. You think I'm crabby? 1.1905 0.04931 84 70 12 2
4101 I’ll consider it, but only AFTER you’ve clawed your way to the top! 1.1905 0.05982 84 74 4 6
4102 I told you this Halloween I want to be a mobster's moll, Colton. You never listen to me 1.1905 0.05214 84 71 10 3
4103 When I said you were a crab, I didn't mean it literally! 1.1905 0.05214 84 71 10 3
4104 Honey, I’m wearing these lobster claw oven mitts to the sex party tonight whether you like it or not. 1.1905 0.04931 84 70 12 2
4105 So just do a fist bump if you hate shaking hands. 1.1905 0.04931 84 70 12 2
4106 No more "Gotcha"! 1.1905 0.04631 84 69 14 1
4107 Why didn't you think about foreplay before you agreed? 1.1905 0.04631 84 69 14 1
4108 So you offended the witch with a "red snapper" joke ? 1.1905 0.04931 84 70 12 2
4109 So now it's goodbye to the tender caress 1.1905 0.04931 84 70 12 2
4110 Of course I don’t feel like Seafood. 1.1905 0.05214 84 71 10 3
4111 I know, I know. Your bio specifically said you loved puns and had a strict “no hand holding clause” 1.1905 0.05214 84 71 10 3
4112 It's going to be a long time before you get back inside my dungeness. 1.1905 0.04931 84 70 12 2
4113 My hands are starting to feel a bit clammy 1.1905 0.05214 84 71 10 3
4114 When you asked if I liked shellfish, I did not know you were talking about yourself. 1.1905 0.05214 84 71 10 3
4115 It’s not you, Joe, it’s ME. I just don’t think I’m equipped to give you the kind of love you need. 1.1905 0.04631 84 69 14 1
4116 Why couldn't you genetically modify yourself into something useful like an oyster? 1.1905 0.04931 84 70 12 2
4117 Speed it up. Otherwise, I'll be serving the dinner party without a main course. 1.1905 0.05214 84 71 10 3
4118 How could you have bet on Miami? 1.1905 0.04931 84 70 12 2
4119 When your dating profile said you were a real catch, I had hoped you could warm the cockles of my heart. 1.1905 0.04931 84 70 12 2
4120 Please stop saying "allergy" instead of "preference" when you order the omakase. 1.1905 0.04931 84 70 12 2
4121 What did that lawyer mean when he told us to pay particular attention to tho claws? 1.1905 0.04631 84 69 14 1
4122 I thought you said c-l-a-u-s-e. 1.1905 0.04631 84 69 14 1
4123 I can’t believe you’re wearing shorts to dinner. 1.1905 0.04931 84 70 12 2
4124 I told you to keep your trap shut! 1.1905 0.05214 84 71 10 3
4125 I don't know how I contracted Crabs? 1.1905 0.05214 84 71 10 3
4126 No, Gerald, what I said was "subordinate CLAUSE." 1.1905 0.05482 84 72 8 4
4127 I knew those oven mitts would be too small for your hands. 1.1905 0.05214 84 71 10 3
4128 ‘’It’s just that you like the bath water so cold.’’ 1.1905 0.04931 84 70 12 2
4129 Patrick, you need to learn to be less grabby! 1.1905 0.05482 84 72 8 4
4130 Have you noticed that nobody has noticed you. 1.1905 0.04310 84 68 16 0
4131 Not so picky when it comes to dress sense 1.1905 0.05214 84 71 10 3
4132 Yeah..right..I'M crabby! 1.1905 0.05214 84 71 10 3
4133 ...So like my Tinder profile says I'm a Lobtaur. It's like a centaur but with a lobster. I'm mostly human except for my hands...and genitals." 1.1905 0.05738 84 73 6 5
4134 hhh 1.1905 0.05482 84 72 8 4
4135 You should have slept your way to the top 1.1905 0.04931 84 70 12 2
4136 This is ridiculous. For the umpteenth time you’re allergic! 1.1905 0.04931 84 70 12 2
4137 Would it kill you to text me more often? 1.1905 0.04931 84 70 12 2
4138 They promised me you would get your entire human body back if we went shopping as a couple. 1.1905 0.05214 84 71 10 3
4139 I did say that I clawed my way to the top in my dating profile. 1.1905 0.04631 84 69 14 1
4140 Don’t anticipate as much as a handshake at the end of our date. 1.1905 0.05214 84 71 10 3
4141 Your sister asked me if I liked lobster, I didn't realize THIS is what she meant 1.1905 0.05482 84 72 8 4
4142 If you want another date with me, you will have to put rubberbands on those things. 1.1905 0.04631 84 69 14 1
4143 Fine, I told you not to be so "handsy." 1.1905 0.05214 84 71 10 3
4144 And just because it came from the Vincent Price museum doesn't make it a bargain. 1.1905 0.04931 84 70 12 2
4145 Seriously, when we’re in public, you need to stop taking off your rubber bands. 1.1905 0.04931 84 70 12 2
4146 What does it matter if I ordered the lobster? 1.1905 0.04631 84 69 14 1
4147 Claws? What’s it going to be next time? Flippers? 1.1905 0.04931 84 70 12 2
4148 OK, as your agent, am I supposed to be mindreader, too? How was I supposed to know that when they said no mollusks, they also meant no crustaceans? 1.1905 0.04931 84 70 12 2
4149 I should have known with a nickname of "Market Price" on Match.com! 1.1905 0.04931 84 70 12 2
4150 Next time we do it, use more butter and lemon. 1.1905 0.04931 84 70 12 2
4151 This is just like our relationship, you can't ever fully commit. 1.1905 0.05738 84 73 6 5
4152 Ugh... When will you get the circumcision, Gilbert 1.1905 0.05214 84 71 10 3
4153 It's not just me who thinks you're crabby. 1.1905 0.05214 84 71 10 3
4154 You definitely need to see a dermatologist, Fred. 1.1905 0.04631 84 69 14 1
4155 I don’t care if it was two for one. 1.1905 0.04931 84 70 12 2
4156 One more move like that and I'm putting the rubber bands back on mister. 1.1905 0.04931 84 70 12 2
4157 Don't you think you could have told me your father was a lobster before we got married? 1.1905 0.04631 84 69 14 1
4158 ove lobster, but still .... 1.1905 0.04931 84 70 12 2
4159 My dad finally agrees to meet you, and this is the meal you choose to mix meat with dairy?! 1.1905 0.04931 84 70 12 2
4160 I told you not to eat the glowing crab! 1.1905 0.04631 84 69 14 1
4161 are those prosthetic lobster claws 1.1905 0.05214 84 71 10 3
4162 You just had to pinch her. 1.1905 0.05214 84 71 10 3
4163 Okay, so it was a crab instead of a fly...I'd still make a good movie. 1.1905 0.05214 84 71 10 3
4164 You were caught red-handed, you know that, right! 1.1905 0.04931 84 70 12 2
4165 The doctor said I’ll grow out of this allergy with time. 1.1905 0.04931 84 70 12 2
4166 Your Santa Claus joke was not funny. 1.1905 0.05738 84 73 6 5
4167 You spent $500 for a pair of “authentic” crab hands and you ask why I’m in a crabby mood? 1.1905 0.04931 84 70 12 2
4168 Why do I have to always pick up the check? 1.1905 0.04631 84 69 14 1
4169 I guess you are not my lobster after all. 1.1905 0.05214 84 71 10 3
4170 I must say you’ve taken ‘being crabby’ to a whole new level. 1.1905 0.05214 84 71 10 3
4171 That’s not what I meant. 1.1905 0.05738 84 73 6 5
4172 Yes, I do think you might have mentioned your “hands” on your profile. 1.1905 0.05214 84 71 10 3
4173 Moaybe it’s time we move out of the city and live near your parents in Maine. 1.1905 0.04931 84 70 12 2
4174 You should have read more carefully that clause in your contract. 1.1905 0.05214 84 71 10 3
4175 No need to get crabby...I'm just not sure you'll still love me to mornay 1.1905 0.04310 84 68 16 0
4176 So, were you fired for claws or for cause? 1.1905 0.04931 84 70 12 2
4177 I don’t know why you keep calling me a cold fish. 1.1905 0.04931 84 70 12 2
4178 That's your Halloween costume? 1.1905 0.05214 84 71 10 3
4179 So I guess this explains your fear of hot tubs. allergy to mayonnaise and your hatred of Red Lobster. 1.1905 0.04931 84 70 12 2
4180 No, your parents were lovely. But I could tell they kept dragging you down. 1.1905 0.05214 84 71 10 3
4181 I don't care what Jordan Peterson says about your serotonin, you still look ridiculous... 1.1905 0.04931 84 70 12 2
4182 I know your from Maine, but really ! 1.1905 0.04631 84 69 14 1
4183 Grabbing is NOT ok. 1.1905 0.05214 84 71 10 3
4184 I told you this would happen if you didn't get a balanced diet. 1.1905 0.05482 84 72 8 4
4185 Why would your boss be afraid you of clawing your way to the your way to the top. 1.1905 0.04631 84 69 14 1
4186 It's bad enough you chewed your "fingernails", but did you have to stick them in the butter first? 1.1905 0.05214 84 71 10 3
4187 They don't grab me. 1.1905 0.05214 84 71 10 3
4188 I'm going for an MRI--they prevent clawstrophobia 1.1905 0.04931 84 70 12 2
4189 I know I said I like sushi but is it too much to ask to get a cheeseburger once in a great while. 1.1905 0.04931 84 70 12 2
4190 I preferred it when your hands were clammy. 1.1905 0.04631 84 69 14 1
4191 Don't even think about second base tonight. 1.1905 0.05738 84 73 6 5
4192 Your mother's always getting her claws in. 1.1905 0.05214 84 71 10 3
4193 Yes. I said it. Your father is a cock. 1.1905 0.05482 84 72 8 4
4194 Your pincer movement failed. 1.1905 0.04631 84 69 14 1
4195 Okay, Mister Edward Lobsterhands, you sleep in your tank tonight! 1.1905 0.05214 84 71 10 3
4196 But you said I was your lobster! 1.1905 0.04931 84 70 12 2
4197 I told you I had no problem with the pinch marks. But I draw the line at all that melted butter. 1.1905 0.04931 84 70 12 2
4198 Honestly! You could have told me you literally got caught red-handed! 1.1905 0.04931 84 70 12 2
4199 It was a figure of speech! 1.1905 0.04631 84 69 14 1
4200 Okay.I'll keep my claws to myself. 1.1905 0.05738 84 73 6 5
4201 I’m sorry my claws came out 1.1905 0.04783 84 72 9 3
4202 Consider the lobster? Are you kidding me? 1.1905 0.04931 84 70 12 2
4203 This is definitely not "the way life should be." 1.1905 0.04931 84 70 12 2
4204 What do you expect after clawing your way to the top? 1.1905 0.05214 84 71 10 3
4205 I suppose those damn lobster claws are your idea of middle-aged whimsy? 1.1905 0.04931 84 70 12 2
4206 Diane, my therapist says it’s okay to be shellfish sometimes. 1.1905 0.04931 84 70 12 2
4207 Being the world’s best looking Thalidomide baby just isn't enough. 1.1905 0.04473 84 71 11 2
4208 I feel like I’ve been crawfished. 1.1905 0.04310 84 68 16 0
4209 It’s cat and claw. Meow and butter, hiss and boil, yet we keep walking together. 1.1905 0.04931 84 70 12 2
4210 I thought we talked about this. 1.1905 0.04631 84 69 14 1
4211 NO, this is not just like ‘Splash’ - I’m sorry but you are not attractive or sexy in any way... 1.1905 0.04931 84 70 12 2
4212 Big...meaty...claws! 1.1905 0.05482 84 72 8 4
4213 Great. ‘I’ll just grow a new one.’ Do you even listen to yourself? 1.1905 0.05214 84 71 10 3
4214 Dinner was ruined because you hid all the butter! That was very shellfish! 1.1905 0.04631 84 69 14 1
4215 Don't think I didn't see her giving you those hungry eyes. 1.1905 0.04931 84 70 12 2
4216 Why are you always so grabby? 1.1905 0.05982 84 74 4 6
4217 Tweeted for a Handsome Scorpio guy to bodyguard you? 1.1905 0.04931 84 70 12 2
4218 Did you say you were from Maine? 1.1905 0.04931 84 70 12 2
4219 I am not Phoebe and you are not "my lobster! 1.1905 0.05214 84 71 10 3
4220 It goes beyond not being handy. 1.1905 0.04931 84 70 12 2
4221 Fine, but you'll still need to sign the autographs. 1.1905 0.05214 84 71 10 3
4222 When you told me you had crabs, this is not what I thought you meant.” 1.1905 0.05738 84 73 6 5
4223 Stop trying to butter me up too, Dale. 1.1905 0.04931 84 70 12 2
4224 I've really had enough of your sex toys! 1.1905 0.05214 84 71 10 3
4225 The tail is actually the best part 1.1905 0.04931 84 70 12 2
4226 No Dave, if I was being snarky I would have called it a shellfish wish. 1.1905 0.05214 84 71 10 3
4227 I didn’t mean it literally when I said you were my lobster, I had just finished watching Friends 1.1905 0.04931 84 70 12 2
4228 I told you not to go on the “seafood diet”. 1.1905 0.04931 84 70 12 2
4229 Trader Joe's butter is as good as Zabar's and it's a lot closer. 1.1905 0.04631 84 69 14 1
4230 On our way to a "Bring-your-own-claw" lobster party ! 1.1905 0.05482 84 72 8 4
4231 You had to open your big trap! 1.1905 0.05214 84 71 10 3
4232 I warned you about that "unlimited lobster claws" special. But would you listen? 1.1905 0.04631 84 69 14 1
4233 Harold, take off those novelty gloves: our vacation to Maine is over. 1.1905 0.05482 84 72 8 4
4234 I know you're studying to be a marine biologist, but this is ridiculous. 1.1905 0.04310 84 68 16 0
4235 Well today you got off the wrong side of bed cause you are a little snapping today. 1.1905 0.05738 84 73 6 5
4236 No arm wrestling joke with my father. 1.1905 0.04631 84 69 14 1
4237 'Hate to sound like your mother, Eric, but have you been moisturising? You haven't,have you?' 1.1905 0.04931 84 70 12 2
4238 Men! You all just want to be lobsters. 1.1905 0.05482 84 72 8 4
4239 So you thought "Santa Claws" was a typo? 1.1905 0.05214 84 71 10 3
4240 I wasn't being literal when I said you need to claw your way to the top. 1.1905 0.04931 84 70 12 2
4241 I agreed to sickness and health, but THIS, Terry?? 1.1905 0.04631 84 69 14 1
4242 Boy, getting close to you really hurts. 1.1905 0.04310 84 68 16 0
4243 You smell like fish! 1.1905 0.05214 84 71 10 3
4244 How is Edward Lobsterhands not the natural sequel? 1.1905 0.04631 84 69 14 1
4245 I guess I'm your mate for life now. 1.1905 0.05214 84 71 10 3
4246 Okay, fine, just go on pretending you don't understand the degree of hot water you're about to find yourself in. 1.1905 0.04931 84 70 12 2
4247 There's such a thing as being too even-handed. 1.1905 0.04931 84 70 12 2
4248 You have never been so grabby. 1.1905 0.05214 84 71 10 3
4249 When the subway moves suddenly you can grab...what, exactly? 1.1905 0.04631 84 69 14 1
4250 So your liver, pancreas and intestines are all one edible, jelly-like organ? You're a real catch, Tom Alley. 1.1905 0.04140 84 70 13 1
4251 I told you to leave those stupid oven mitts at home. 1.1905 0.05214 84 71 10 3
4252 Frustration Crustacean 1.1905 0.04931 84 70 12 2
4253 Of all the gin joints, a guy from Maine had to walk into mine. 1.1905 0.04631 84 69 14 1
4254 A pinch is too an assault. 1.1905 0.05482 84 72 8 4
4255 You didn't have to get so snippy with that waitress. 1.1905 0.05214 84 71 10 3
4256 O.K.. I’m sorry. Next time I’ll use a knife and fork. 1.1905 0.04931 84 70 12 2
4257 I'm sick of your dad's cracks about my Native American ancestry. 1.1905 0.05214 84 71 10 3
4258 Animal instinct my ass! 1.1905 0.05482 84 72 8 4
4259 Great, now *I'm* feeling crabby. 1.1905 0.04931 84 70 12 2
4260 I don't want to hear your squealing. 1.1905 0.04631 84 69 14 1
4261 Your pants are rolled up, so eat the damn peach." 1.1905 0.05214 84 71 10 3
4262 No....you're not Santa Claws! 1.1905 0.05214 84 71 10 3
4263 Listen Rupert, if we are talking bisque, I'm down with it. If we are talking a weekend in the Hamptons, I 'm just not felling it. 1.1895 0.04042 95 77 18 0
4264 When the sea starts rising, I'll be the one laughing! 1.1882 0.04878 85 71 12 2
4265 NOT TONIGHT 1.1882 0.04878 85 71 12 2
4266 I refuse to wear the tail 1.1882 0.04878 85 71 12 2
4267 Dinner will be late again. 1.1882 0.05422 85 73 8 4
4268 White Claws are all the rage, Jerry, White Claws. 1.1860 0.04826 86 72 12 2
4269 I didn't know we got takeout. 1.1860 0.04826 86 72 12 2
4270 Your obsession with crab legs has gone a bit too far. 1.1860 0.04826 86 72 12 2
4271 When I said you could lobster me, I didn’t think you would just pinch me on the butt. 1.1852 0.05303 81 69 9 3
4272 It's Not that I don't Love You, But... 1.1852 0.05303 81 69 9 3
4273 You can't claw yourself out of this one! 1.1852 0.05003 81 68 11 2
4274 Why won't you marry me Christine? I think I've proven I truly am your lobster! 1.1852 0.05303 81 69 9 3
4275 I keep telling you, the Guinness Book of Records is NOT going to put you in as "largest land-based rock lobster"... 1.1852 0.05303 81 69 9 3
4276 We're finished Bob. Clawing your way to the top has just made you too crabby. 1.1852 0.05303 81 69 9 3
4277 Excuse me? You think I’m crabby? 1.1852 0.05303 81 69 9 3
4278 After 3 years of marriage you've finally revealed your hand. 1.1852 0.04685 81 67 13 1
4279 Movie, dinner, OK...but, this time, keep your claws to yourself. 1.1852 0.04685 81 67 13 1
4280 Why is it whenever we go to see my mother you just have to get your claws out? 1.1852 0.05003 81 68 11 2
4281 You realize I know you don’t play for the Cardinals. 1.1852 0.05003 81 68 11 2
4282 Look - you’re cute and everything, but a pair of pincers can be deceiving 1.1852 0.05303 81 69 9 3
4283 ...and no...it doesn't make me feel better that it looked stupider with hands. 1.1852 0.04685 81 67 13 1
4284 I’m just asking you to stop clawing me all the time 1.1852 0.05303 81 69 9 3
4285 How does me saying, 'My parents love Halloween' turn into you thinking it's a good idea to meet them in your crab-leg costume? 1.1852 0.05303 81 69 9 3
4286 Look, it got old just as soon as I realized I was going to have to shave you." 1.1852 0.05003 81 68 11 2
4287 Say 'Red Lobster' one more time, Frank. Say it, I dare you. 1.1852 0.05003 81 68 11 2
4288 No compete, Claws. 1.1852 0.05003 81 68 11 2
4289 Sometimes I get so caught up in the big picture that I miss the obvious. Wanna hold hands? 1.1852 0.04685 81 67 13 1
4290 I'm sorry trivia night was a bust but these are my non-compete claws. 1.1852 0.05303 81 69 9 3
4291 I told you right from the beginning “We’re not holding hands” 1.1852 0.05003 81 68 11 2
4292 I don't see the advantage, unless you just want to pinch someone's ass." 1.1852 0.04685 81 67 13 1
4293 I don't care if it's a white claw party, Helen. I'm being ostentatious. 1.1852 0.05003 81 68 11 2
4294 Well 'claw back' might be an effect legal strategy, but it won't work with me. 1.1852 0.05303 81 69 9 3
4295 At least that explains the itching and burning. 1.1852 0.04685 81 67 13 1
4296 Death is not the end. 1.1842 0.05528 76 65 8 3
4297 I know you hate shopping but do you have to be such a crab? 1.1842 0.04852 76 63 12 1
4298 Really Tim......you going to wear those Red Lobster giveaway. 1.1795 0.05981 78 69 4 5
4299 I don't care if you ARE Italian. Pinch me one more time and we are finished. 1.1795 0.05396 78 67 8 3
4300 You look ridiculous. Halloween isn’t until the end of the month. 1.1795 0.04739 78 65 12 1
4301 I don't understand, why you just can't claw your way to the top. 1.1795 0.04739 78 65 12 1
4302 Fuck you and your fucking claws 1.1795 0.05696 78 68 6 4
4303 Stop being so snappy with me. 1.1795 0.05078 78 66 10 2
4304 I'm sorry, I meant to say you are selfish. 1.1795 0.05396 78 67 8 3
4305 Must you always choose to claw yourself to the the top? 1.1772 0.04684 79 66 12 1
4306 Not what I expected when your on-line description said you were clawing your way to the top. 1.1772 0.04684 79 66 12 1
4307 This is not about you...it's about them. 1.1772 0.04324 79 65 14 0
4308 Its just that I'm having a hard time with your clinginess... 1.1772 0.05018 79 67 10 2
4309 Listen Tom, if you want to continue dating me you really need to do something about that five o'clock shadow." 1.1772 0.05018 79 67 10 2
4310 Another dinner party disaster. This is why I buy you gloves for your birthday every year. Do you have any idea how hard it is to find them in your size? And shape?! 1.1772 0.04684 79 66 12 1
4311 I meant “selfish!” 1.1772 0.04684 79 66 12 1
4312 I forgot to tell you, I’m allergic to shellfish. 1.1772 0.04684 79 66 12 1
4313 I really thought you'd be better in a pinch like that. 1.1772 0.04684 79 66 12 1
4314 I would hold hands if I wasn't allergic to shellfish. 1.1772 0.04684 79 66 12 1
4315 This is the last time I go to the Crab Shack with you. 1.1772 0.04684 79 66 12 1
4316 You're not coming near me unless you cut your nails 1.1772 0.05332 79 68 8 3
4317 When you said, "join me and we'll claw our way to the top," I didn't think you mean literally. 1.1772 0.05018 79 67 10 2
4318 Just don't expect any help with your next shell change. 1.1772 0.04684 79 66 12 1
4319 OKay, Okay, we'll go for seafood! 1.1772 0.05018 79 67 10 2
4320 Of course I won't hold hands! 1.1772 0.05018 79 67 10 2
4321 Steve, when I say, If I eat another cookie I'll turn into one, it's not to be taken literally. 1.1772 0.05018 79 67 10 2
4322 Just because my name is Donald and your name is Melania doesn't mean that I am going to force you to hold my hand. 1.1772 0.05018 79 67 10 2
4323 Red Lobster again!? 1.1772 0.05018 79 67 10 2
4324 You are so totally shellfish! 1.1772 0.05628 79 69 6 4
4325 You didn't have to shake his hand. 1.1772 0.04684 79 66 12 1
4326 You and your obsession with Kafka and shellfish! 1.1772 0.05018 79 67 10 2
4327 But Jane, you like lobster and now I have really yuge hands! How can you be upset? 1.1772 0.05018 79 67 10 2
4328 I just don’t think the lobster was the best thing to order. 1.1772 0.05018 79 67 10 2
4329 Claw your way back to the top!"--it's so easy for you to say 1.1772 0.04684 79 66 12 1
4330 Do you know how to be gentle..?! 1.1772 0.04324 79 65 14 0
4331 When you told me your dad was a lobsterman, I didn't know you were being literal." 1.1772 0.05018 79 67 10 2
4332 It's not just that you're so grabby, you're shellfish too. 1.1772 0.05018 79 67 10 2
4333 Okay, so that's your punishment, but don't worry, this whole Me-Too thing will blow over in a couple of years. 1.1772 0.04684 79 66 12 1
4334 I’m afraid your basketball career is over. 1.1772 0.05018 79 67 10 2
4335 When my hands are cold I don't get crabby about it. 1.1772 0.04684 79 66 12 1
4336 It's time to take off the gloves in this relationship. 1.1772 0.04684 79 66 12 1
4337 Once upon a time ticking was fun, OK? 1.1772 0.04684 79 66 12 1
4338 You really thought those wouldn’t hurt ! 1.1772 0.04324 79 65 14 0
4339 How do you think I know? 1.1772 0.04684 79 66 12 1
4340 - I can't believe you actually pinched her! 1.1772 0.05018 79 67 10 2
4341 I think you're taking this 'Clawing Your Way to the Top' a little too literal! 1.1772 0.05018 79 67 10 2
4342 I know I'm crabby, but I'm tired of you forgetting the butter! 1.1772 0.05018 79 67 10 2
4343 Excuse me,I think its quite obvious who has been in a crabby mood today! 1.1772 0.04684 79 66 12 1
4344 This isn't working. One of us is always crabby. 1.1772 0.04324 79 65 14 0
4345 Oh, but I’M ‘so crabby all the time,’ huh?!” 1.1772 0.04684 79 66 12 1
4346 I'm really getting tired of calling an ambulance every time you shake someone's hand. 1.1772 0.04684 79 66 12 1
4347 Obviously you didn't think about folding laundry 1.1772 0.05018 79 67 10 2
4348 I think it’s time you stopped the iodine tablets. 1.1772 0.04324 79 65 14 0
4349 Why is he always clawing at me? 1.1772 0.05628 79 69 6 4
4350 The shellfish obsession has got to end somewhere. 1.1772 0.04684 79 66 12 1
4351 On our first date I wondered if I was just imagining it, but then I saw my brothers, my father, the men in my office, ... oh dear! 1.1772 0.04684 79 66 12 1
4352 I’m still crabby. 1.1772 0.04324 79 65 14 0
4353 You always have an excuse for no foreplay 1.1772 0.05332 79 68 8 3
4354 I told you, nobody wants to be clawed! 1.1772 0.05018 79 67 10 2
4355 You know I've always told you foreplay isn't your strength. 1.1772 0.04684 79 66 12 1
4356 Honey, why do you have to always gamble like that? 1.1772 0.04684 79 66 12 1
4357 You know, I really deserve someone less shellfish. 1.1772 0.05018 79 67 10 2
4358 Sorry honey,I just don't think the avant garde piano playing career is going to work out. 1.1772 0.05018 79 67 10 2
4359 Ok, I give up. Is it David Foster Wallace or Jordan Peterson this time? 1.1772 0.04684 79 66 12 1
4360 Walking with you makes it look like I’m dating Jameis Winston 1.1772 0.05018 79 67 10 2
4361 I'm not going to get you out of the tank again!" 1.1772 0.05018 79 67 10 2
4362 I only said "yes" to the Crawdads game cuz you said you'd catch me a foul ball! 1.1772 0.05018 79 67 10 2
4363 You are dreaming if you think you can just claw your way back in ... 1.1772 0.05018 79 67 10 2
4364 So how's the new strategy to quit your cell phone going? 1.1772 0.05018 79 67 10 2
4365 There will be NO second date... 1.1772 0.04684 79 66 12 1
4366 You and your damned CRISPR machine! 1.1772 0.05018 79 67 10 2
4367 I told you already - you're too clingy. 1.1772 0.05018 79 67 10 2
4368 I can’t believe how shellfish you were at brunch just now 1.1772 0.05018 79 67 10 2
4369 Your online dating profile was a little misleading. 1.1772 0.05332 79 68 8 3
4370 If you wanted a Kafkian experience you should have come with me to the DMV 1.1772 0.05018 79 67 10 2
4371 Why do you always need to be so snappy? 1.1772 0.04324 79 65 14 0
4372 Some people just like butter and lemon. 1.1772 0.04684 79 66 12 1
4373 And don't even think about getting handsy. 1.1772 0.04324 79 65 14 0
4374 And I thought you were just being crabby. 1.1772 0.04684 79 66 12 1
4375 How many times have I said, "Don't stick your claws in boiling water!" ? 1.1772 0.05018 79 67 10 2
4376 It was bound to happen. You should have kept the rubber bands on. 1.1772 0.04684 79 66 12 1
4377 You said you'd wear the gloves I got you! 1.1772 0.04684 79 66 12 1
4378 Do we always need to leave right when somebody mentions hot tubbing? 1.1772 0.05018 79 67 10 2
4379 Don’t you dare pinching me! 1.1772 0.04684 79 66 12 1
4380 Really?!?! You got the idea from that old Access Hollywood tape?! 1.1772 0.05628 79 69 6 4
4381 Don’t be crabby that I don’t want to hold hands, honey 1.1772 0.05018 79 67 10 2
4382 Never mind white shoes after Labor Day... 1.1772 0.05018 79 67 10 2
4383 If I have to resort to the rubber bands at tonight’s party, we’re through! 1.1772 0.04684 79 66 12 1
4384 Look, I just don't like you clawing at me when we're out. 1.1772 0.05018 79 67 10 2
4385 I repeat: We are not moving to Maine 1.1772 0.04684 79 66 12 1
4386 Maybe try being polite to the manicurist next time? 1.1772 0.05332 79 68 8 3
4387 At least you've shed most of your shell. 1.1772 0.04684 79 66 12 1
4388 The rest of my Halloween costume hasn't' come yet. 1.1772 0.04684 79 66 12 1
4389 What do you have to be crabby about? 1.1772 0.05018 79 67 10 2
4390 When you said lobster dinner, this isn't what I had in mind. 1.1772 0.05332 79 68 8 3
4391 You're calling ME crabby? 1.1765 0.05520 68 58 8 2
4392 How come we never eat lobster? 1.1765 0.06265 68 60 4 4
4393 I know you are just clawing for attention. 1.1750 0.04630 80 67 12 1
4394 How many times do I need to remind you to pack your rubber bands? 1.1733 0.05155 75 64 9 2
4395 Don’t try to claw your way out of this one. 1.1733 0.05493 75 65 7 3
4396 Don't you think you're being just a bit shellfish? 1.1733 0.04792 75 63 11 1
4397 When I said hands off I meant it. 1.1733 0.04792 75 63 11 1
4398 That's not what I meant on my Tinder profile. Besides, you lied, too. 1.1733 0.05155 75 64 9 2
4399 I didn't hear anything about a surgeon. I thought you said lobster and sturgeon! 1.1733 0.04792 75 63 11 1
4400 I know money is tight, but when did you turn into a penny pincher? 1.1733 0.05812 75 66 5 4
4401 I'm sorry, Rory. I just need to make my life a bit more Marvel-less. 1.1733 0.05155 75 64 9 2
4402 Dick - I told you your penchant for pinching would not end well. Claw your way out of this one pal! 1.1733 0.04400 75 62 13 0
4403 There goes our "Fifty Shades" night. 1.1733 0.04792 75 63 11 1
4404 And you can keep your claws off my money! 1.1733 0.05155 75 64 9 2
4405 You couldn't get enough of the guy with the bib! I can't do this anymore. 1.1733 0.05493 75 65 7 3
4406 No, I don't think you're a snappy dresser. 1.1733 0.05155 75 64 9 2
4407 How could you forget the butter1 1.1733 0.04400 75 62 13 0
4408 Oh, so now I'm the one who's acting all crabby! 1.1733 0.04792 75 63 11 1
4409 I still don't understand why you won't take me to Red Lobster. 1.1733 0.05493 75 65 7 3
4410 This DEFINITELY violates the lobster clause of our prenup. 1.1733 0.04792 75 63 11 1
4411 That's the last time we vacation in Maine. 1.1733 0.04792 75 63 11 1
4412 Well next time your'e in a pinch, just hail a crab. 1.1733 0.05155 75 64 9 2
4413 Boiling point. 1.1733 0.05155 75 64 9 2
4414 That was not a pretty hand orgasm. 1.1733 0.04792 75 63 11 1
4415 Next time It's the cone for you! 1.1733 0.05155 75 64 9 2
4416 I'll make extra money at ribbon cutting ceremonies, you said. And I'll keep my job at the hospital, you said. HA! 1.1733 0.05155 75 64 9 2
4417 I know you are a marine biologist but try not to touch me in bed. 1.1733 0.04792 75 63 11 1
4418 Truth in advertising? He said he was a real catch! She said this was her first and last time on PlentyOfFish. 1.1733 0.05155 75 64 9 2
4419 It's just that I thought you were trying to win me the giant stuffed bear. 1.1733 0.05493 75 65 7 3
4420 When I told you to get a grip on our relationship, that's not what I meant. 1.1733 0.04792 75 63 11 1
4421 What happened to your hands? Why are they are so red? 1.1733 0.05155 75 64 9 2
4422 Well, I've finally got to hand it to you. 1.1733 0.05493 75 65 7 3
4423 Oh, no ! Not the red pair. 1.1733 0.05155 75 64 9 2
4424 Sebastian, we need to talk about your claws. They've been making me feel crabby. 1.1711 0.04348 76 63 13 0
4425 I can´t believe you screamed at that guy for ordering lobster, Claudio." 1.1711 0.05739 76 67 5 4
4426 I dunno...just be claws. 1.1711 0.04734 76 64 11 1
4427 How many pairs of mittens have you lost this year? 1.1711 0.04348 76 63 13 0
4428 Now we just have to find you a job where you can claw your way to the top. 1.1711 0.04734 76 64 11 1
4429 I should have listened to my parents. They said you could get crabby. 1.1711 0.04734 76 64 11 1
4430 I've lost all faith in Tinder. 1.1711 0.04734 76 64 11 1
4431 I'm finished buttering you up 1.1711 0.04734 76 64 11 1
4432 Should have been in your dating app profile. 1.1711 0.05091 76 65 9 2
4433 I thought you said you had “Crabs” 1.1711 0.03448 76 66 9 1
4434 You don't want to hold my hand--fine. But at least put your arm around me. 1.1711 0.04734 76 64 11 1
4435 I liked you better when you were all paws. 1.1711 0.05091 76 65 9 2
4436 Fred, why are you angry with me? I didn’t get you fired? How was I supposed to know that you would take me literally, when I told you to, “claw your way to the top”? 1.1711 0.04348 76 63 13 0
4437 I don't care if there's no Access Hollywood video. You can't put your giant claws all over that guppy's gills and expect me to pretend everything's normal. 1.1711 0.04734 76 64 11 1
4438 Ive had it with your fake make-believe texts . “Lobster claws dinner out” ? Stupid me , I even changed to to high heels for this .. You’ll need better than a presidential pardon to get out of this one, honey !!! 1.1711 0.05091 76 65 9 2
4439 I'm just not sure they'll cure your handsiness...not without the rubber bands.” 1.1711 0.04141 76 65 10 1
4440 No, I don't think there'll be a third date. 1.1711 0.05091 76 65 9 2
4441 I still think rouge is wrong for you. 1.1711 0.04348 76 63 13 0
4442 When I said keep your paws off me, What made you think this would work. 1.1711 0.04734 76 64 11 1
4443 That 'clean your room' rule is fine, but you may still be a bit TOO much of a Jordan Peterson fan. 1.1711 0.05091 76 65 9 2
4444 No more buffets, Stephen. 1.1711 0.04734 76 64 11 1
4445 They're still not going to let you register them as lethal weapons. 1.1711 0.05091 76 65 9 2
4446 No one's gonna get the Dick Tracy reference to your costume, but I think you're a Dick for pinching my ass. 1.1711 0.03448 76 66 9 1
4447 That’s what you deserve for feeling up that witch. 1.1711 0.05091 76 65 9 2
4448 Your use of the word clause was very misleading. 1.1711 0.04734 76 64 11 1
4449 I don’t care what you do- you’re still “from away”- and always will be! 1.1711 0.05091 76 65 9 2
4450 I can't believe that you are taking lobster claws to a fiddler crab fight! 1.1711 0.05091 76 65 9 2
4451 Can't take you anywhere! Eating with your hands! 1.1711 0.04348 76 63 13 0
4452 By all means avoid any semblance of a hot tub. 1.1711 0.04734 76 64 11 1
4453 That hemisphere specialization stuff—one’s for holding, one’s for grabbing—just doesn’t work anymore. 1.1711 0.05091 76 65 9 2
4454 I am absolutely done with public Men's rooms! 1.1711 0.05091 76 65 9 2
4455 You know I hate when you claw at your food. 1.1711 0.05091 76 65 9 2
4456 ... until one day, Pleasantville was invaded by the Claw People... 1.1711 0.05091 76 65 9 2
4457 Again, I’m sorry. I told you not to tickle me.” 1.1711 0.04734 76 64 11 1
4458 You just had to wear your human suit! 1.1711 0.04734 76 64 11 1
4459 You can't expect the trick-or-treaters to get the District 9 reference, Humphrey! 1.1711 0.05091 76 65 9 2
4460 Some comfort food for lunch? 1.1711 0.04734 76 64 11 1
4461 Keep your hands to yourself, you'll never be more than a friend. 1.1711 0.04734 76 64 11 1
4462 I said I feel like a lobster, not I feel like lobster. 1.1711 0.04734 76 64 11 1
4463 Don't even think about getting fresh. 1.1711 0.05091 76 65 9 2
4464 I liked T.S. Eliot too, but I got over it. 1.1711 0.04734 76 64 11 1
4465 Do we really have to see another superhero movie? 1.1711 0.05091 76 65 9 2
4466 That’s no excuse for not returning my text! 1.1711 0.04734 76 64 11 1
4467 You just had to claw your way back in, huh? 1.1711 0.05091 76 65 9 2
4468 But I’m your lobster, Rachel! 1.1711 0.04734 76 64 11 1
4469 I did mention that "Discount prosthetics r us" sounded dodgy. 1.1711 0.05091 76 65 9 2
4470 For the last time it’s “Law and order”, not “claw and order” 1.1711 0.04734 76 64 11 1
4471 If you weren't as dumb as you look I would call you a nephropidae. 1.1711 0.05091 76 65 9 2
4472 Will you please give me a hand? I am in a crabby mood. 1.1711 0.04734 76 64 11 1
4473 Come on, pinching her didn't mean anything... 1.1711 0.05091 76 65 9 2
4474 The problem that we are discussing, that you asked about, is double relative claws. 1.1711 0.05091 76 65 9 2
4475 If you were going to catfish me, you could have at least had paws 1.1711 0.05425 76 66 7 3
4476 I'm sure you were dying to get your claws in her! 1.1711 0.05091 76 65 9 2
4477 Do that one more time and I’m out of here.” Don Dechman —. Austin, T 1.1711 0.04734 76 64 11 1
4478 We wouldn't be in a pinch for time if you could crab your stuff and go! 1.1711 0.05091 76 65 9 2
4479 You know, Vince, mother was right about you. 1.1711 0.04734 76 64 11 1
4480 I don’t know why you have to be so crabby. 1.1711 0.04734 76 64 11 1
4481 Stop with the butt pinching! 1.1711 0.04348 76 63 13 0
4482 I told you those are not boxing gloves. 1.1711 0.04734 76 64 11 1
4483 I don't think it's going to work out between us. I'm a Pisces, and you're obviously a Cancer 1.1711 0.04734 76 64 11 1
4484 If you are going to claw your way to the top, you're gonna need a better wardrobe 1.1711 0.04734 76 64 11 1
4485 From now on, please ignore questions about our sex life. 1.1711 0.04734 76 64 11 1
4486 Sorry, but for me “surf and turf” is not just a dinner order. It’s a way of life. 1.1711 0.05425 76 66 7 3
4487 And you always insist that I'm the crabby one! 1.1711 0.05091 76 65 9 2
4488 Yes, I feel safer now that your hands are lethal weapons, and No! I don't want to have your baby. 1.1711 0.04734 76 64 11 1
4489 Behind every angry woman, stands a man, who has no idea what he did wrong. If you are​ a male and you touch a woman they will panic like seeing lobster claws touching their soft skin. 1.1711 0.05091 76 65 9 2
4490 No crusher claw?! That's like giving you two left hands! 1.1711 0.04348 76 63 13 0
4491 I wish you would leave those in thew bedroom! 1.1711 0.04734 76 64 11 1
4492 I told you...keep your claws to yourself. 1.1711 0.04348 76 63 13 0
4493 Yes, the steak was overdone. But did you have to snap at the waiter like that? 1.1711 0.04734 76 64 11 1
4494 I know you wanted to change your name to San T. Claws but this is ridiculous 1.1711 0.04734 76 64 11 1
4495 Frankly, Edward Scissorhands has a lot more going for him. 1.1711 0.04734 76 64 11 1
4496 Why the attitude? These new claws have cured my smart phone addiction” 1.1667 0.04623 66 55 11 0
4497 Are you getting cold feet? 1.1667 0.05102 66 56 9 1
4498 Leave me alone, I`ll be filing a clawsuit! 1.1644 0.05166 73 63 8 2
4499 This is our first date. I expect you to keep your hands to yourself. 1.1644 0.05522 73 64 6 3
4500 Stop this crab! 1.1644 0.04784 73 62 10 1
4501 NO BUTTER. I really wish we'd never watched "Last Tango in Paris". 1.1644 0.05166 73 63 8 2
4502 I wouldn't have been so upset you've had handled it better 1.1644 0.04368 73 61 12 0
4503 If you don't want to hold hands, I don't want to hold hands. 1.1622 0.05101 74 64 8 2
4504 Embarrassing enough you ate the whole thing. 1.1622 0.04314 74 62 12 0
4505 That Tinder profile picture of yours must have taken some skill.. 1.1622 0.05101 74 64 8 2
4506 It still doesn't excuse you being so grabby. 1.1622 0.04314 74 62 12 0
4507 For the record, Jim, I still think you should have taken Ursula's offer to trade those in. 1.1622 0.04724 74 63 10 1
4508 I am not going to Red Lobster again. 1.1622 0.05101 74 64 8 2
4509 You’re classless! 1.1622 0.05101 74 64 8 2
4510 Why are your hands always too clammy? 1.1622 0.05101 74 64 8 2
4511 How can you call me "crabby" 1.1622 0.04724 74 63 10 1
4512 No, red does not look good on you 1.1622 0.04724 74 63 10 1
4513 I preferred them clammy. 1.1622 0.04314 74 62 12 0
4514 You know I don't like holding your claw in public. 1.1622 0.04314 74 62 12 0
4515 I don't want to hold hands anymore. 1.1622 0.05451 74 65 6 3
4516 I'm not the one who's a crab! 1.1622 0.04724 74 63 10 1
4517 The commercial said “ Nip your smoking habit in the bud” 1.1622 0.04724 74 63 10 1
4518 I thought you were my lobster, but you're just as spineless as the rest of them! 1.1622 0.04724 74 63 10 1
4519 You can't put "Sometimes I get a little bit crabby on your profile". 1.1622 0.04314 74 62 12 0
4520 I'm still going to cook with butter. 1.1622 0.04724 74 63 10 1
4521 But why aren't they green like everyoe else's? 1.1622 0.05101 74 64 8 2
4522 Alright. if you put away those crab mittens I'll stop wearing my Princess Ariel costume on the subway. 1.1622 0.04314 74 62 12 0
4523 She said I was too handsy 1.1622 0.05101 74 64 8 2
4524 That is not what the meant when they said they were looking for pinch hitters. 1.1622 0.04724 74 63 10 1
4525 This isn’t what they meant when they asked you to pick up some claws on the way to the party, George. 1.1622 0.05101 74 64 8 2
4526 The first man to receive the lobster claws of shame. 1.1622 0.04724 74 63 10 1
4527 Man Hands! Are you really going to go that route and tell me I have man hands? 1.1622 0.04724 74 63 10 1
4528 And we forgot to bring wine! 1.1622 0.04724 74 63 10 1
4529 They don't bark and they know the secrets of the sea. 1.1622 0.04314 74 62 12 0
4530 I don't care if Joan Benoit put them on at the end of the Bay to Breaker's Race, on you they just look stupid. 1.1622 0.05101 74 64 8 2
4531 I wanted to just cuddle a little, okay? And yes, maybe when I said "You're getting a little too handsy," I could have chosen my words better. 1.1622 0.05101 74 64 8 2
4532 Your online profile said you were 'handsy.'" 1.1622 0.04314 74 62 12 0
4533 Dear, I know you love lobster but do you always have to ask the waiter for the lobster's claws? 1.1622 0.04724 74 63 10 1
4534 Next time you get horny, I want to watch. 1.1622 0.04724 74 63 10 1
4535 I know a nice crab house, Claud 1.1622 0.05451 74 65 6 3
4536 I mean, besides 'Me Too' ... 1.1622 0.05101 74 64 8 2
4537 Forget it! You’ve seen your last cookie jar, Mister. 1.1622 0.04724 74 63 10 1
4538 I told them, absolutely no seafood restaurants. And did they listen? Noooooo. 1.1622 0.04724 74 63 10 1
4539 First you clam up on me, now this! 1.1622 0.04724 74 63 10 1
4540 I thought you were referring to a CLAWS in the pre-nup, alright? 1.1622 0.05101 74 64 8 2
4541 she hadn't wanted to go but he'd gotten his claws into her 1.1622 0.05451 74 65 6 3
4542 I didn’t say you were crabby! 1.1622 0.04724 74 63 10 1
4543 That's the last time we go out where the crawdads sing! 1.1622 0.05101 74 64 8 2
4544 If you say you’re just crabby one more time... 1.1622 0.04724 74 63 10 1
4545 You selfish shellfish! 1.1622 0.04724 74 63 10 1
4546 You ever pinch me again. Lets just say you will be sorry lobster boy. 1.1622 0.04724 74 63 10 1
4547 There's plenty of humans on land...okay, maybe I should go back to the sea 1.1622 0.05101 74 64 8 2
4548 I think with those hands we wont have any trouble picking out the right fish at the market 1.1622 0.04724 74 63 10 1
4549 I can’t believe you told the therapist that it’s time for us to part waters. 1.1622 0.04314 74 62 12 0
4550 I like a soft touch. 1.1622 0.04724 74 63 10 1
4551 You just couldn't keep your hands off of her, could you? 1.1622 0.04724 74 63 10 1
4552 Why do I have the claws she’s the crabby one 1.1622 0.05451 74 65 6 3
4553 It's a living! 1.1622 0.04724 74 63 10 1
4554 Oh no, you're too good for hooks. You damn-well-KNOW shellfish give me hives! 1.1622 0.04724 74 63 10 1
4555 You just had to pinch her cheek 1.1622 0.04724 74 63 10 1
4556 At least I wouldn't have had to walk home with lobster oven mit's stuck to my hands if I had gotten the head chef job. 1.1622 0.04724 74 63 10 1
4557 You need to work on your caresses. 1.1622 0.04724 74 63 10 1
4558 I know you're crabby but those are lobster claws. 1.1622 0.04724 74 63 10 1
4559 Stop being such a penny pincer! 1.1622 0.05101 74 64 8 2
4560 That’s not what they mean by claw your way to the top. 1.1622 0.04724 74 63 10 1
4561 I'm in the mood for seafood tonight 1.1622 0.04724 74 63 10 1
4562 It's just melted butter. I don't understand why you always have to make such a scene. 1.1622 0.04724 74 63 10 1
4563 I said I was into Flamenco. Not flamingo's! 1.1622 0.05451 74 65 6 3
4564 The gloves aren't funny, Matthew. I am NOT getting crabby! 1.1622 0.05101 74 64 8 2
4565 You're calling me shell fish? 1.1622 0.05101 74 64 8 2
4566 I'm warning you. Keep your claws to yourself or, I'll scream! 1.1622 0.05101 74 64 8 2
4567 So much for the thumb war competition. 1.1622 0.04724 74 63 10 1
4568 I hated that movie. And no, I don’t love you enough to reciprocate. 1.1622 0.04724 74 63 10 1
4569 my dish at the restaurant was called transformation for a reason. 1.1622 0.04314 74 62 12 0
4570 Don’t try and butter it up, you can’t claw your way out of this one. 1.1622 0.05101 74 64 8 2
4571 You're the one who said that specialty shot would save your tennis career. 1.1622 0.05101 74 64 8 2
4572 I don't care if the audition is tomorrow. This Brooklyn thing has gone too far. 1.1622 0.04724 74 63 10 1
4573 I don't care if they were only 8.99/lb... 1.1622 0.04724 74 63 10 1
4574 On the bright side, my tongue has not been impacted. 1.1622 0.04314 74 62 12 0
4575 I'm not holding your hand; you're being very shell-fish. 1.1622 0.04724 74 63 10 1
4576 I don't care what Jordan Peterson says about lobsters, I'm not giving up my career to marry you! 1.1622 0.05101 74 64 8 2
4577 Edward lobster claws? Nothing original there.... 1.1622 0.05101 74 64 8 2
4578 I don't care if your profile said you love to hold hands... 1.1622 0.04314 74 62 12 0
4579 You should've realized that before the surgery. 1.1622 0.04314 74 62 12 0
4580 Why do you always object when I have a yen for seafood? 1.1622 0.05101 74 64 8 2
4581 How many times have I warned you about putting your claws in hot water? 1.1622 0.04724 74 63 10 1
4582 Your Tinder said you were west coast. 1.1622 0.05101 74 64 8 2
4583 Ok, I get it, you want to go to Maine 1.1622 0.04724 74 63 10 1
4584 If I were you, I’d stay away from anyone with butter and lemon juice. 1.1622 0.05101 74 64 8 2
4585 I wish you’d quit being so crabby. 1.1622 0.05101 74 64 8 2
4586 If you were more of a go-getter, you wouldn't need to claw your way to the top. 1.1622 0.05101 74 64 8 2
4587 Yes, I think it did freak out my mom when you stuck your hands in the pot of boiling water. So much for the spaghetti dinner. 1.1622 0.05781 74 66 4 4
4588 Sorry I've been so crabby lately. 1.1622 0.05101 74 64 8 2
4589 Fall must be here. It feels a bit nippy. 1.1622 0.04314 74 62 12 0
4590 I don’t care how hard it is to reach your wallet, this is the third meal I’ve paid for this week! 1.1622 0.05101 74 64 8 2
4591 After you eat crab, you wear your dinner." Yeah... I did say that 1.1622 0.04724 74 63 10 1
4592 Maybe I don’t want to butter you up and be eating out of your hands. 1.1622 0.05451 74 65 6 3
4593 First week was funny Claude. Now it's just fishy. 1.1622 0.05101 74 64 8 2
4594 Well, it’s you're own damn fault. You had to to have lobster every single day from June through September! 1.1622 0.04724 74 63 10 1
4595 Yes, they're staying on until you can be trusted in my sorority gatherings." 1.1622 0.05101 74 64 8 2
4596 I'm going alone to the next social function - you'll never completely come out of your shell. 1.1622 0.04314 74 62 12 0
4597 How many times have I asked you not to shake hands with my friends? 1.1622 0.05101 74 64 8 2
4598 You don't have to be so crabby. 1.1622 0.04724 74 63 10 1
4599 When your bio said you loved lobster, I thought it meant to eat. 1.1622 0.04314 74 62 12 0
4600 Just don't be so grabby this time! 1.1622 0.04724 74 63 10 1
4601 This is what they meant when they said there'd be no leftover boxes George. 1.1622 0.04724 74 63 10 1
4602 That's not what I meant by grab some claws... 1.1622 0.05451 74 65 6 3
4603 Like I said -- keep your claws off me. 1.1622 0.05451 74 65 6 3
4604 I do a great Edward Scissorhands 1.1622 0.04314 74 62 12 0
4605 I'll bet that's the last one you boil alive " 1.1622 0.05101 74 64 8 2
4606 Take the gloves off Jim, it's a bad joke. You're not Colin Farrell 1.1622 0.05101 74 64 8 2
4607 Do you know how embarrassing it is for me when you use those man claws to pinch the waitress. 1.1622 0.04314 74 62 12 0
4608 I was dreaming of crab legs. 1.1622 0.04724 74 63 10 1
4609 Mom was very hurt that you wouldn’t even try her lobster bisque. 1.1622 0.04724 74 63 10 1
4610 It’s fine that you’re anti-rubber band, but do you always have to bring it up on mixed company? 1.1622 0.05101 74 64 8 2
4611 Didn’t I tell you, no hugs, my mother is allergic to shellfish. 1.1622 0.05101 74 64 8 2
4612 I told you pesticides were mutagenic. Will you now at least eat organic. 1.1622 0.05101 74 64 8 2
4613 At least Donald didn't leave a scar! 1.1622 0.05451 74 65 6 3
4614 You should never take the claw into your own hands! 1.1622 0.04724 74 63 10 1
4615 But you knew I was clawed when you married me. 1.1622 0.05101 74 64 8 2
4616 I know that you are claw-striphobic; but the hand surgeon said it was the only option for my condition. 1.1622 0.04724 74 63 10 1
4617 I can't be seen with a man that wears mittens 1.1622 0.04724 74 63 10 1
4618 No, you are not going to claw your way back into my heart. 1.1622 0.04724 74 63 10 1
4619 I don't think Phoebe Buffay meant it literally, Hank. 1.1622 0.04724 74 63 10 1
4620 Remember, act normal and keep your mitts out of the butter. 1.1622 0.05101 74 64 8 2
4621 You just can’t keep your hands to yourself! 1.1622 0.05101 74 64 8 2
4622 I volunteered you'd come dressed as Santa Claus, not Hands Are Claws. 1.1622 0.04314 74 62 12 0
4623 No it does NOT feel like a vacation being married to you. 1.1622 0.04724 74 63 10 1
4624 Don't take me out again when you're so crabby. 1.1622 0.04724 74 63 10 1
4625 I'm not going to fight with you. 1.1622 0.04724 74 63 10 1
4626 Born-to-pinch is no excuse. 1.1622 0.04724 74 63 10 1
4627 Believe me, you're no great catch. 1.1622 0.04724 74 63 10 1
4628 You left that detail out of your bio. 1.1622 0.04724 74 63 10 1
4629 You're such a penny pincher. 1.1622 0.04724 74 63 10 1
4630 Ok , now you point it out, I agree my shellfish addiction may be having some unusual side effects! 1.1622 0.04724 74 63 10 1
4631 Caught red-clawed. 1.1622 0.04724 74 63 10 1
4632 Me? Compensating? For what? 1.1622 0.05451 74 65 6 3
4633 you just always seem so jealous of anybody else's success. 1.1622 0.05101 74 64 8 2
4634 You're getting more shellfish every day. 1.1622 0.04724 74 63 10 1
4635 Why must you always clawback the tip? 1.1622 0.04724 74 63 10 1
4636 So I guess I melted all that butter for nothing. 1.1622 0.04314 74 62 12 0
4637 Well, you have to admit that you were a little crabby, dear. 1.1622 0.04724 74 63 10 1
4638 Holding hands isn’t kosher anymore! 1.1622 0.05101 74 64 8 2
4639 A clause. You said there was "a" clause for you in that will. 1.1622 0.05101 74 64 8 2
4640 We are never going to eat lobster in public again if you insist on bring your own claws..!! 1.1622 0.04724 74 63 10 1
4641 Say 'surf & turf relationship' one more time and I'm leaving you, Dennis. 1.1622 0.04724 74 63 10 1
4642 I promise never again to make a fuss over the crab legs. 1.1622 0.05101 74 64 8 2
4643 When I said “Stop pawing me” this is not what I meant. 1.1622 0.04314 74 62 12 0
4644 Why do you always want to beat me in how many lobsters you can eat in one sitting? 1.1622 0.04724 74 63 10 1
4645 When I said to the Doctor I wanted to grasp more, this is not what I expected. 1.1622 0.05451 74 65 6 3
4646 You know, sometimes you're a real pinch in the arm. 1.1622 0.05101 74 64 8 2
4647 I warned you about eating one more lobster roll. 1.1622 0.05101 74 64 8 2
4648 Don’t even think about groping me. 1.1622 0.05101 74 64 8 2
4649 You should have worn your rubber bands 1.1622 0.04314 74 62 12 0
4650 All I said was I wish you could be more gentle in foreplay. 1.1622 0.04314 74 62 12 0
4651 Don’t you think an expensive nutcracker would have been more practical? 1.1622 0.04314 74 62 12 0
4652 Are you sure you don't want me to wrap my arms around you to keep you warm? 1.1622 0.05781 74 66 4 4
4653 I did not say, pinch me I'm dreaming. 1.1622 0.04724 74 63 10 1
4654 You could've just said you were from Maine on your dating profile. 1.1622 0.05101 74 64 8 2
4655 Last week - Steakhouse and Horns - This week Seafood and ----" 1.1622 0.04724 74 63 10 1
4656 You said you didn't have any seafood allergies. 1.1622 0.04724 74 63 10 1
4657 Well, obviously clawing your way to the top didn't work out. 1.1622 0.04724 74 63 10 1
4658 Why would you order the Lobster Bisque? 1.1622 0.04724 74 63 10 1
4659 This is the LAST time I will go to an all you can eat buffet with you” 1.1622 0.05101 74 64 8 2
4660 And keep them to yourself. 1.1622 0.04724 74 63 10 1
4661 You could have told me you could handle it. 1.1622 0.04724 74 63 10 1
4662 Yes, I have considered the lobster. 1.1622 0.05101 74 64 8 2
4663 Don'tpinch me! 1.1622 0.05101 74 64 8 2
4664 I just wanted to hold your hand.... 1.1622 0.04724 74 63 10 1
4665 I'm becoming very impatient of your attempts to claw up the corporate ladder! 1.1622 0.04314 74 62 12 0
4666 I just don't understand your aversion to seafood! 1.1622 0.04314 74 62 12 0
4667 You could have just left them home ... 1.1622 0.04314 74 62 12 0
4668 Honey, I think you should take Jordan B. Peterson just seriously, not literally. 1.1622 0.04724 74 63 10 1
4669 What I said was you need to revise your pre-nip clause. 1.1622 0.05451 74 65 6 3
4670 I liked 'My Best Friend's Wedding' too, but, seriously? 1.1622 0.05451 74 65 6 3
4671 My one simple request has always been that you stop wearing those obnoxious shorts! 1.1622 0.05451 74 65 6 3
4672 For the last time: No, you cannot explore my erogenous zones! 1.1622 0.04724 74 63 10 1
4673 How many times did I tell you I'm kosher? 1.1622 0.04724 74 63 10 1
4674 Crabby much??? 1.1622 0.04724 74 63 10 1
4675 Those are not castanets. 1.1622 0.05781 74 66 4 4
4676 I told you there wouldn't be a market for your stupid lobster pincers invention. 1.1622 0.05101 74 64 8 2
4677 Of course my mother likes you, but she knows as well as I do that you are not allergic to cocktail sauce! 1.1622 0.04724 74 63 10 1
4678 I don’t care if it’s the newest fashion—I think it’s ostentatious. 1.1622 0.05101 74 64 8 2
4679 I hate it when you get handsy. 1.1622 0.04724 74 63 10 1
4680 They do eliminate any ambiguity. 1.1622 0.04314 74 62 12 0
4681 Forget it Frank. I'm not your roe to hoe. 1.1622 0.04724 74 63 10 1
4682 Your shellfishness is fine; it's your selfishness I struggle with. 1.1622 0.04724 74 63 10 1
4683 Yes, but Trump has "small hands" that does the grabbing. 1.1622 0.05451 74 65 6 3
4684 i prefer your roman hands and russian fingers. 1.1622 0.04724 74 63 10 1
4685 So let me get this right, you went into a deep density displacement simulation machine with a Red Lobster menu in your back pocket and came out like this. 1.1622 0.04724 74 63 10 1
4686 I don't enjoy using a nutcracker. 1.1622 0.04724 74 63 10 1
4687 I thought I had married a man who would claw his way to the top. 1.1622 0.04724 74 63 10 1
4688 You could have told me that going totally vegan isn't in your DNA. 1.1622 0.04724 74 63 10 1
4689 I thought I could save them. 1.1622 0.05101 74 64 8 2
4690 Unbelievable. I told you to bring White Claws to the party. 1.1622 0.05451 74 65 6 3
4691 It'll do in a pinch. 1.1622 0.04724 74 63 10 1
4692 Your new Yeezy pinchers come off as a little tone def 1.1622 0.05451 74 65 6 3
4693 Claws? Really? You are no Edward Scissorhands. 1.1622 0.04724 74 63 10 1
4694 Don't tell anyone we met on Okay Cupid. Tell them we met at Oyster Happy Hour. 1.1622 0.05101 74 64 8 2
4695 No. I am not leading you into a trap from which, if you remained calm, could easily escape but will more likely become confused and captured. 1.1622 0.04724 74 63 10 1
4696 The next time we go to a Fabergé egg exhibit, you're wearing rubber bands. 1.1622 0.04724 74 63 10 1
4697 You should have just let me throw the ball back to them. 1.1622 0.04314 74 62 12 0
4698 'Your claustrophobia's showing.' 1.1622 0.05101 74 64 8 2
4699 All right! I won 1.1622 0.05451 74 65 6 3
4700 Jorts? Really? 1.1622 0.05451 74 65 6 3
4701 Your dating profile didn't mention that you always wear shorts. 1.1622 0.05101 74 64 8 2
4702 “And then you dropped your orderve plate on her white carpet. You're all lobster claws today." 1.1622 0.04724 74 63 10 1
4703 Really David, you're over-reacting to our divorce. 1.1622 0.04724 74 63 10 1
4704 Don't get handsy." 1.1622 0.04724 74 63 10 1
4705 But why are they boiled? 1.1622 0.05101 74 64 8 2
4706 That's exactly why I told you to keep your hands to yourself! 1.1622 0.04724 74 63 10 1
4707 You're not touching me with those hands. 1.1622 0.05451 74 65 6 3
4708 Waste of a wish 1.1622 0.04724 74 63 10 1
4709 It was Lobster Thermidor. You idiot. 1.1618 0.04963 68 58 9 1
4710 No, no shellfish! 1.1618 0.06148 68 61 3 4
4711 Sponge Bob maybe but not Sandy the Squirrel 1.1618 0.05387 68 59 7 2
4712 I said I wanted a White Claw! 1.1618 0.04963 68 58 9 1
4713 I'm telling mom 1.1618 0.04963 68 58 9 1
4714 No sir...it’s clear now that the gloves are off! 1.1600 0.04665 75 64 10 1
4715 Yeah, but I can do this. 1.1600 0.05037 75 65 8 2
4716 Your continuous rendition of "Down by the Sea" is freaking me out. 1.1600 0.05037 75 65 8 2
4717 Last time I ever swipe right for a for a Claude 1.1600 0.05383 75 66 6 3
4718 Maxwell's silver hammer does not apply here. 1.1600 0.04262 75 63 12 0
4719 I’m hungry and you’re being shellfish. 1.1600 0.05037 75 65 8 2
4720 Don't expect me to pull you out of the pot again! 1.1600 0.05037 75 65 8 2
4721 For the last time, I am not your lobster! 1.1579 0.04975 76 66 8 2
4722 I forgot butter. 1.1571 0.04831 70 60 9 1
4723 Shelfish? Me?? 1.1571 0.04831 70 60 9 1
4724 Every week, it's something different. Elliott, just stop evolving, already. 1.1571 0.04831 70 60 9 1
4725 You did pinch her there. 1.1571 0.04831 70 60 9 1
4726 Son, I found a stick of butter under your mattress. 1.1571 0.05242 70 61 7 2
4727 The mermaid lost all of her fish parts - what is wrong with you? 1.1571 0.04831 70 60 9 1
4728 You and I have very different ideas about Surf & Turf 1.1571 0.04831 70 60 9 1
4729 Now all I think about is drawn butter " 1.1571 0.04831 70 60 9 1
4730 I have never been so embarrassed. You were all claws tonight. 1.1571 0.04831 70 60 9 1
4731 Yes, you're always there in a pinch--pinching pennies! 1.1571 0.04831 70 60 9 1
4732 I don't think that I'm the one attracting all the weird looks! 1.1571 0.04831 70 60 9 1
4733 The 'bucket of crabs' metaphor doesn't explain your behavior when it's just us. 1.1571 0.04831 70 60 9 1
4734 Jane's going to hear from me -- she told me you never get handsy! 1.1571 0.04831 70 60 9 1
4735 Your name is not Trump; leave it alone! 1.1571 0.05623 70 62 5 3
4736 Clawing your way to the top is so passé... 1.1571 0.04381 70 59 11 0
4737 I told you that you were being crabby 1.1571 0.04831 70 60 9 1
4738 Yes, I do understand you're in the Maine event. 1.1571 0.04381 70 59 11 0
4739 I've had enough of your crabby excuses. 1.1571 0.04831 70 60 9 1
4740 What makes you think I feel crabby? 1.1571 0.04831 70 60 9 1
4741 I"m only crabby during my period. 1.1571 0.05242 70 61 7 2
4742 I miss the days when you were too handsy.” 1.1571 0.04831 70 60 9 1
4743 Thought I was the crab. Why is she being crabby? 1.1571 0.04831 70 60 9 1
4744 test 1.1571 0.05242 70 61 7 2
4745 If you keep complaining I'm going to get you a bib. 1.1571 0.04381 70 59 11 0
4746 Well, at least you're not crabby. 1.1571 0.04831 70 60 9 1
4747 You would have to join the off shore fight club ! 1.1571 0.04831 70 60 9 1
4748 My girlfriend warned me you were ALL hands, but this? This? 1.1571 0.05242 70 61 7 2
4749 I am so sick of seafood. 1.1571 0.04381 70 59 11 0
4750 If you can't do it softer, then don't pinch my butt ever again. 1.1571 0.04381 70 59 11 0
4751 So have you ever heard of Edward Scissorhands?... 1.1571 0.05242 70 61 7 2
4752 But your email said you were into exploring different ways of doing it! 1.1571 0.05242 70 61 7 2
4753 But why did you have to choose red! 1.1571 0.04381 70 59 11 0
4754 Sure, it's politics, but let's leave the gloves on, until after the primaries, anyway. 1.1571 0.05242 70 61 7 2
4755 You're too clingy. 1.1571 0.05242 70 61 7 2
4756 You said you were going to fight the shark king with gloves off. 1.1571 0.04831 70 60 9 1
4757 Forget it. Butter will not ease the pain. Just wait till the count.newyorker.com/?retURL 1.1571 0.04831 70 60 9 1
4758 Aha! I always said you were a crab!!!! 1.1571 0.05242 70 61 7 2
4759 At least you can always find work as Santa Claws. 1.1571 0.04831 70 60 9 1
4760 it's the third time this month you've been cutting my hair by mistake, if it doesn't stop i'll end up bald. 1.1571 0.05242 70 61 7 2
4761 When I asked you to give me a hand once in a while, I was speaking metaphorically 1.1571 0.04831 70 60 9 1
4762 Really, I think Al's Seafood Buffet for dinner is a bad idea. 1.1571 0.04831 70 60 9 1
4763 No, you’re being crabby. 1.1571 0.04831 70 60 9 1
4764 All I wanted was a little nose-job, but you far too make it all about you. 1.1571 0.04381 70 59 11 0
4765 I'll show you what crabby looks like, wiseguy! 1.1571 0.04831 70 60 9 1
4766 Well now we’re both feeling crabby! 1.1571 0.04831 70 60 9 1
4767 It would have be seven figures without the clawback. 1.1571 0.05242 70 61 7 2
4768 This is the last time you're using the past to get out of making dinner. 1.1571 0.05242 70 61 7 2
4769 Caribbean health plan, eh?!?! 1.1571 0.04831 70 60 9 1
4770 Next time, please use a knife and fork, as stipulated in our pre-nup 1.1571 0.04831 70 60 9 1
4771 Sorry, but I consider you that fish that should have been thrown back. 1.1571 0.04381 70 59 11 0
4772 You don't believe I clawed her, do you? 1.1571 0.04831 70 60 9 1
4773 This Dr. Jordan Peterson fan club meeting better be fun. 1.1571 0.04831 70 60 9 1
4774 We are done with sex. 1.1571 0.04381 70 59 11 0
4775 I'm tired of getting thrown out of pizza places. 1.1571 0.04831 70 60 9 1
4776 That’s not what biohacking means 1.1571 0.04831 70 60 9 1
4777 I'm not going to speak with you if you are going to be this crabby. 1.1571 0.05242 70 61 7 2
4778 You do know the “Would you rather” game isn’t literal... 1.1571 0.04381 70 59 11 0
4779 Sorry, but I refuse to believe that your given name is "Santa". 1.1571 0.04831 70 60 9 1
4780 You said strolling was going to be better than scrolling. 1.1571 0.04831 70 60 9 1
4781 Look, I don't know what the girls are like back in Maine, but I'm just not into PDAs. 1.1571 0.04831 70 60 9 1
4782 You just couldn't resist bragging about multi-tasking. 1.1571 0.04381 70 59 11 0
4783 I don't care if you CAN put them in the stupid pot, the point is I asked you not to. And by the way: I hope you realize everyone was laughing _at_ you, and not _with_ you. 1.1571 0.04381 70 59 11 0
4784 How could you think that? I said I felt like ‘blintzes’, not ‘pincers’ 1.1571 0.05242 70 61 7 2
4785 We're getting a divorce. 1.1571 0.05242 70 61 7 2
4786 Stop yacking about the upcoming foreplay. It ain’t gone happened! 1.1571 0.05623 70 62 5 3
4787 I told you that would-you-rather wasn’t a hypothetical. 1.1571 0.04831 70 60 9 1
4788 Now we’re in a real pinch. 1.1571 0.05242 70 61 7 2
4789 I thought "US" would work out, but you just keep hurting me. 1.1571 0.05242 70 61 7 2
4790 I think your mother’s a crab. 1.1571 0.04381 70 59 11 0
4791 HA! You keep your claws off of me. 1.1571 0.05242 70 61 7 2
4792 It's been my experience that a bib is what's required at those kinds of restaurants. 1.1571 0.04831 70 60 9 1
4793 I hate shopping with you because you’ve become a crabby penny-pincher! 1.1571 0.05242 70 61 7 2
4794 So what if I just like the cheddar biscuits? 1.1571 0.05242 70 61 7 2
4795 What if I promise not to pick my nose in public? 1.1571 0.04381 70 59 11 0
4796 But the takeout boxes were all so small. 1.1571 0.04831 70 60 9 1
4797 I hate it when you start to turn shell fish. 1.1571 0.04831 70 60 9 1
4798 I'll take care of it. Can you pick up the kids at school? 1.1571 0.04831 70 60 9 1
4799 I said the money will go to a monster cause! 1.1571 0.04831 70 60 9 1
4800 How could you say that my hands are clammy? 1.1571 0.04831 70 60 9 1
4801 I really don't appreciate the snippiness of your tone. 1.1571 0.05242 70 61 7 2
4802 No, you may not feel me up. 1.1571 0.04831 70 60 9 1
4803 Well at LEAST you don’t have crabs... 1.1571 0.04831 70 60 9 1
4804 Call me crabby one more time and we’ll both be steamed. 1.1571 0.05242 70 61 7 2
4805 Well, you did ask me not to be crabbie today. 1.1571 0.04831 70 60 9 1
4806 So this is the surprise clause you wanted in the prenup? 1.1571 0.05242 70 61 7 2
4807 "They are for show, only." 1.1571 0.04831 70 60 9 1
4808 If you didn’t want to go to Long John Silver’s, you could’ve just told me. 1.1571 0.04381 70 59 11 0
4809 You try to grab me by ANYTHING and I am going to boil your hands for dinner! 1.1549 0.04767 71 61 9 1
4810 Keep your slimy claws to yourself. 1.1549 0.04767 71 61 9 1
4811 You've changed, Tim... ever since that weekend we spent in Maine... 1.1549 0.04325 71 60 11 0
4812 I told you that hot tub was too hot. 1.1549 0.04325 71 60 11 0
4813 I don't care how pelagic they are. You still should have mentioned them in your profile. 1.1549 0.04767 71 61 9 1
4814 While I appreciate the similarities, your name is Greg Simpson, New York is not an ‘unnamed Eastern state’, and you did not ‘wake up with’ the novelty lobster claws you bought last summer. 1.1549 0.05548 71 63 5 3
4815 I misunderstood when you said you needed to claw your way to the top. 1.1549 0.05172 71 62 7 2
4816 You know, you never put that you didn't like shellfish on your profile. 1.1549 0.05172 71 62 7 2
4817 I told you to keep your hands to yourself, but no. 1.1549 0.04767 71 61 9 1
4818 I’ve told you before, I’m a Long John Silvers girl. 1.1549 0.04325 71 60 11 0
4819 Those don't make it any less metoo! 1.1549 0.05172 71 62 7 2
4820 Is this going happen every time someone asks for butter? 1.1549 0.05172 71 62 7 2
4821 Go ahead, be angry. But I just can't keep eating lobsters. 1.1549 0.05172 71 62 7 2
4822 "And you've been snippy and not at all tender with me lately." 1.1549 0.05172 71 62 7 2
4823 I get it. We’re going to the Red Lobster . . . again. 1.1549 0.04325 71 60 11 0
4824 I am not ‘hiding behind‘ my shellfish allergy! 1.1549 0.04767 71 61 9 1
4825 Most people make do with just a bib. 1.1549 0.05172 71 62 7 2
4826 I told you I was a cheap date. 1.1549 0.04325 71 60 11 0
4827 I get it, you're a big fan. But on your NEXT 'first date,' either skip the hockey game, or consider leaving your rubber claws at home." 1.1549 0.05172 71 62 7 2
4828 Seriously? 'Come here and I'll pinch you to death.' 1.1549 0.04767 71 61 9 1
4829 Did they really tease you that much? 1.1549 0.04767 71 61 9 1
4830 Red handed, red clawed, it’s all the same thing. 1.1549 0.04767 71 61 9 1
4831 My great great grandmother had a fair with a fisherman who is half lobster... 1.1549 0.05172 71 62 7 2
4832 You don't get my snatch!! 1.1549 0.05548 71 63 5 3
4833 You have clammy hands. 1.1549 0.04767 71 61 9 1
4834 I always thought your mother was an old crab ." Anya Laurence Windsor, ON Canad 1.1549 0.04767 71 61 9 1
4835 Sorry, but you're not touching me until you get rid of those. 1.1549 0.04325 71 60 11 0
4836 Maybe foreplay's just not for us. 1.1549 0.04325 71 60 11 0
4837 You know what they say about big claws... 1.1549 0.04325 71 60 11 0
4838 No, it is not just like being Santa Claus! 1.1549 0.04325 71 60 11 0
4839 just when I thought you only have crabs in a bucket mentality!! 1.1549 0.04767 71 61 9 1
4840 I keep telling you, it’s not quite crawfish season yet. 1.1549 0.04325 71 60 11 0
4841 Keep it up and I'll break out the rubber bands. 1.1549 0.04767 71 61 9 1
4842 Next time we go for lobster, I would appreciate it if you’re more specific. 1.1549 0.04767 71 61 9 1
4843 I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to pinch you in front of your DAD! 1.1549 0.04767 71 61 9 1
4844 I thought I was clear: No petting! 1.1549 0.04767 71 61 9 1
4845 Gerry, how could you? We spoke about you growing a beard! 1.1549 0.04325 71 60 11 0
4846 But, normal is a wide spectrum 1.1549 0.05172 71 62 7 2
4847 I told you to have our lawyer go over the fine print. 1.1549 0.05548 71 63 5 3
4848 Is this because I said that thing about Labor Day? 1.1549 0.05172 71 62 7 2
4849 I hate your stupid line about marriage....”Easy to enter, impossible to exit.” 1.1549 0.04767 71 61 9 1
4850 Why does this planet only have one color? 1.1549 0.04325 71 60 11 0
4851 When life hands you crabs, you don’t make crab hands. 1.1549 0.04325 71 60 11 0
4852 Have you tweeted that you're looking for a partner with Scorpio personality? 1.1549 0.04767 71 61 9 1
4853 You are in such hot water. 1.1549 0.04767 71 61 9 1
4854 There should be better ways of settling this Maine vacation issue. 1.1549 0.05548 71 63 5 3
4855 I wish you'd stop calling everyone a "handist." 1.1549 0.05548 71 63 5 3
4856 I'm uncomfortable with public displays of affliction. 1.1549 0.04767 71 61 9 1
4857 You have to stop eating so much lobster... 1.1549 0.05172 71 62 7 2
4858 DO you have any creme for chapped hands? 1.1549 0.05172 71 62 7 2
4859 Just once can you not pick sushi! 1.1549 0.04325 71 60 11 0
4860 No way am I going out with you, Lobsterman. I’m holding out for Spiderman. 1.1549 0.04767 71 61 9 1
4861 I know pinching is normal for you, but it hurts and I don't like it. 1.1549 0.04325 71 60 11 0
4862 I’m done with the group hug therapy! 1.1549 0.05172 71 62 7 2
4863 Why do you have to be so crabby?" 1.1549 0.05172 71 62 7 2
4864 I know I said I liked a firm handshake but don't you think this is a bit much? 1.1549 0.04767 71 61 9 1
4865 ...and will all that you still cant scratch my itch. 1.1549 0.05172 71 62 7 2
4866 That wasn’t your reaction to Edward Scissorhands. 1.1549 0.05172 71 62 7 2
4867 I get so self-conscious when I chip my nail polish. 1.1549 0.04767 71 61 9 1
4868 It is not the looks, you just can't text! 1.1549 0.05172 71 62 7 2
4869 OK, you win. Your hands aren't clammy anymore. 1.1549 0.04325 71 60 11 0
4870 Say, that reminds me: Do we have any drawn butter? 1.1549 0.04767 71 61 9 1
4871 I knew I should have went with the cheese head. 1.1549 0.04767 71 61 9 1
4872 Seriously? You're telling me that I'M the one who's crabby? 1.1549 0.04767 71 61 9 1
4873 But, I'll give you a mani/pedi 1.1549 0.05172 71 62 7 2
4874 My great catch has tanked on me. 1.1549 0.05172 71 62 7 2
4875 I'm SO glad I didn't order the Crispr Crab. 1.1549 0.04767 71 61 9 1
4876 I believe in Santa claws but not in lobster claws 1.1549 0.05172 71 62 7 2
4877 I think I am going to have lobster today. 1.1549 0.04325 71 60 11 0
4878 I thought Tinder said you were “The Rock.” But you’re not The Rock. You’re a Rock Lobster. 1.1549 0.04767 71 61 9 1
4879 It just wasn’t your roll. 1.1549 0.04767 71 61 9 1
4880 Don't tell me to claw down! 1.1549 0.04767 71 61 9 1
4881 You only ever think about yourself--why do you have to be so shellfish? 1.1549 0.04767 71 61 9 1
4882 Well my dentist is also from Maine, and he says you only have to wrap the floss around your fingers a couple of times 1.1549 0.04767 71 61 9 1
4883 What? It was but one get one free! 1.1549 0.05172 71 62 7 2
4884 Don't pinch my butt in front of your mother ever again. 1.1549 0.04767 71 61 9 1
4885 If lobster claws are de rigueur, maybe this won’t be my kind of party. 1.1549 0.05172 71 62 7 2
4886 How would I have known that he would order the lobster at the the diner? 1.1549 0.04767 71 61 9 1
4887 This decision affects us both, David. 1.1549 0.04767 71 61 9 1
4888 I knew I should have brought the elastics. 1.1549 0.05172 71 62 7 2
4889 Please stop being so snippy. 1.1549 0.04767 71 61 9 1
4890 Just because they give you free Cheddar Bay Biscuits doesn't mean it's worth it. 1.1549 0.04767 71 61 9 1
4891 I don't think 'clawing up the ladder of success' should be taken literally. 1.1549 0.05172 71 62 7 2
4892 Red socks or not, I'm not into puppet shows. 1.1549 0.05172 71 62 7 2
4893 I know they’re not clammy. I still don’t want to hold them. 1.1549 0.04767 71 61 9 1
4894 Boston Legal 1.1549 0.05548 71 63 5 3
4895 Sometimes you behave like an evil circus freak child. 1.1549 0.04767 71 61 9 1
4896 I think it would be nice if we could hold hands sometime 1.1549 0.04767 71 61 9 1
4897 Good luck burpin' the worm! 1.1549 0.04767 71 61 9 1
4898 I warned you about getting crabs from me last night. 1.1528 0.04706 72 62 9 1
4899 I told you it wasn't flaxseed. 1.1528 0.05104 72 63 7 2
4900 I told you last week that we were out of rubber bands. 1.1528 0.04270 72 61 11 0
4901 Is it bacause of that shopping trip, Jimmy? 1.1528 0.05474 72 64 5 3
4902 The Apartment's a mess-you can't pick up a broom? 1.1528 0.04270 72 61 11 0
4903 How can I date you when I’m allergic to your hands? 1.1528 0.04270 72 61 11 0
4904 I know...I know: when God past out hands, you thought he said cans. 1.1528 0.04706 72 62 9 1
4905 I'm acting crabby? Look who's talking! 1.1528 0.04706 72 62 9 1
4906 As a matter of fact, I am crabby! I said grab me early only in case of emergency! 1.1528 0.04706 72 62 9 1
4907 Why would you surgically implant giant, meaty lobster claws over your hands? How can you still wipe Harold? How do you WIPE?! 1.1528 0.04706 72 62 9 1
4908 It will be worth it if it cures your "online" addiction. 1.1528 0.04706 72 62 9 1
4909 There are love pinches and there are love pinches...and then there's... 1.1528 0.04270 72 61 11 0
4910 When I told you to keep your mitts off me, I did not mean to suggest that clawing was okay. 1.1528 0.04270 72 61 11 0
4911 When I called you a crab, I didn't mean for you to take it literally. 1.1528 0.04706 72 62 9 1
4912 You, of all people, calling me 'crabby'! 1.1528 0.05104 72 63 7 2
4913 Does this mean we can get rid of the Buffalo Wild Wings? 1.1528 0.05104 72 63 7 2
4914 No more "Bangkok Calling." Ever! 1.1528 0.04706 72 62 9 1
4915 Clawing your way to the top hasn’t worked, how about dishwashing at Red Lobster? 1.1528 0.04706 72 62 9 1
4916 Now, you'll have to claw your way to the top!! 1.1528 0.04706 72 62 9 1
4917 Cherie, I'll take off these pinchers when you forgive me for wrongly thinking your favorite Stevie Wonder song lyrics were saying: "My Chelae Amour distant as the Milky Way." 1.1528 0.05104 72 63 7 2
4918 When you warned me you had crabs, this was the last thing I was expecting. 1.1528 0.04270 72 61 11 0
4919 Sorry, I know you want to hold hands - it's just that they get a little 'clam'my. 1.1528 0.04706 72 62 9 1
4920 And you say it is just an extension of your personality? 1.1528 0.04270 72 61 11 0
4921 I knew it was to good to be true when you said you didn’t have crabs. 1.1528 0.04706 72 62 9 1
4922 Dave, I told you, no one wants to shake hands with you. 1.1528 0.04706 72 62 9 1
4923 They're only supposed to be red AFTER they've been cooked. 1.1528 0.04706 72 62 9 1
4924 Which part of “unlimited seafood buffet” didn’t concern you in a landlocked state. 1.1528 0.03226 72 64 7 1
4925 ... and he has the stones to say that he’s breaking up with me because I have, and I quote, “a fishy smell”. Can you fucken believe that shit? Can you? Hello? What the fuck dude, I honestly expected your support on this, you literally reek like fish. 1.1528 0.05474 72 64 5 3
4926 The fitter failed you, Derek. You needed the smalls. 1.1528 0.04270 72 61 11 0
4927 Not only are you a tight arse but you're a penny pincher too. 1.1528 0.04706 72 62 9 1
4928 You better not get handsy with me! 1.1528 0.04706 72 62 9 1
4929 You must be in a crabby mood if you won't hold hands. 1.1528 0.04270 72 61 11 0
4930 I still don't understand why you must always climb into the lobster tank at our favourite restaurant! 1.1528 0.04706 72 62 9 1
4931 I've got crabs 1.1528 0.04706 72 62 9 1
4932 As Dr. Davis said, I carry the money from now on. 1.1528 0.04706 72 62 9 1
4933 Looks like your a little crabby. 1.1528 0.05104 72 63 7 2
4934 No, you tell our daughter you wouldn’t feel safe attending her Christmas ballet recital. 1.1528 0.04706 72 62 9 1
4935 Don't you think that The Crab Shack will find you offending? 1.1528 0.04706 72 62 9 1
4936 I wish you would just wear gloves like everybody else ! 1.1528 0.04270 72 61 11 0
4937 John, the Boston Lobsters are just a tennis team. 1.1528 0.05104 72 63 7 2
4938 You told me that helping out with Chernobyl wouldn't be a problem. If you think I'm ever sleeping with you again, you're crazy. 1.1528 0.05104 72 63 7 2
4939 Those so did not work in your let's get back to intimacy idea. 1.1528 0.05104 72 63 7 2
4940 I don't care how nice they seemed. When you smell drawn butter, you head for the door! 1.1528 0.05474 72 64 5 3
4941 Normal people would ask for a take-home bib." 1.1528 0.05104 72 63 7 2
4942 Well next week I'm picking the game for Game Night. I've had it with Jenga. 1.1528 0.05104 72 63 7 2
4943 What part of White Claws did you not understand? 1.1528 0.04270 72 61 11 0
4944 I'm really getting tired of your pinching me and then saying that you can't help it! 1.1528 0.04706 72 62 9 1
4945 I'm not sure this is how you're going to claw your way to the top." 1.1528 0.05104 72 63 7 2
4946 I don’t care. The Cheesehead was too expensive! 1.1528 0.04706 72 62 9 1
4947 You and your food allergies. 1.1528 0.04270 72 61 11 0
4948 That was preposition, not proposition. 1.1528 0.05104 72 63 7 2
4949 I never said you were crabby dear 1.1528 0.04270 72 61 11 0
4950 Over the top for a simple nose-picking issue. His minor in marine biology might have been a tip-off. 1.1528 0.05474 72 64 5 3
4951 I said I wanted some foreplay, not clawplay! 1.1528 0.05104 72 63 7 2
4952 You shouldn't have snapped like that back there. 1.1528 0.05104 72 63 7 2
4953 This is the last time I will join you for a lobster dinner. 1.1528 0.04706 72 62 9 1
4954 Well, you just can't rely on other people to unzip for you. 1.1528 0.05104 72 63 7 2
4955 So did you really think this would make you an irresistible hire at Red Lobster? Asshole 1.1528 0.04706 72 62 9 1
4956 'You just had to pick him up, didn't you?' 1.1528 0.04270 72 61 11 0
4957 Pinch me again and I 1.1528 0.05104 72 63 7 2
4958 This is your stupidest diet scheme yet. 1.1528 0.04270 72 61 11 0
4959 Why must you always be so soft-shelled? 1.1528 0.05104 72 63 7 2
4960 Wait 'til I find out who ate my leftover lobster. 1.1528 0.04270 72 61 11 0
4961 I don't care if we are on our honeymoon, keep your hands to yourself. 1.1528 0.04706 72 62 9 1
4962 Don't give me that 'It was out of anger, not lust' line again, Carl. 1.1528 0.05104 72 63 7 2
4963 If you touch me again, I'll turn the rest of you into a lobster. 1.1528 0.05104 72 63 7 2
4964 I told you I’d adopt a hands off approach. 1.1528 0.05104 72 63 7 2
4965 Well, at least they're organic. 1.1528 0.04706 72 62 9 1
4966 That's the last time I go to a bottom feeder restaurant. 1.1528 0.05104 72 63 7 2
4967 No, they don’t make you a catch 1.1528 0.04706 72 62 9 1
4968 Well, Roger, the claws really came out at that party. 1.1528 0.05104 72 63 7 2
4969 And do you want to know why I'm so crabby Kyle? Because you've been singing songs from Moana all day long. 1.1528 0.04706 72 62 9 1
4970 NO! Your not going to make a Good Santa Claws! 1.1528 0.05474 72 64 5 3
4971 And here I thought, after all those wolves... 1.1528 0.04706 72 62 9 1
4972 Women these days are so angry all the time. 1.1528 0.04706 72 62 9 1
4973 Maybe it’s time to lay off the White Claw. 1.1528 0.04706 72 62 9 1
4974 If one more person calls me Edward Lobsterhands.... 1.1528 0.05104 72 63 7 2
4975 I don't know what a counselor is going to tell us... I just don't like foreplay! 1.1528 0.04706 72 62 9 1
4976 When you said we were going 'lobstering', this isn't what I had in mind. 1.1528 0.05104 72 63 7 2
4977 The Sports Authority ran out of boxing gloves today, but I figured these would work just fine in mixed martial arts. 1.1528 0.04706 72 62 9 1
4978 I wanted a date with Santa - not Mr. Claws! 1.1528 0.04706 72 62 9 1
4979 I don't like the way they look, even if you would've never made it to the top without them. 1.1528 0.05104 72 63 7 2
4980 'Loot & scoot' or 'snatch & grab'", I think your behavior is deplorable 1.1528 0.05104 72 63 7 2
4981 Straw hats in winter has a different connotation then mittens in summer 1.1528 0.05104 72 63 7 2
4982 You heard me say "Santy Claus,"not handy claws! 1.1528 0.04270 72 61 11 0
4983 Lobster cafe? I better find a way to claw out of this one. 1.1528 0.05104 72 63 7 2
4984 Have you ever seen a 165 lb lobsterman? 1.1528 0.04270 72 61 11 0
4985 You sure woke up crabby today. 1.1528 0.04270 72 61 11 0
4986 You should have been more specific when you asked the genie for a lifetime supply of Stone Crab. 1.1528 0.05104 72 63 7 2
4987 Even you cannot claw your way back into this relationship. 1.1528 0.05104 72 63 7 2
4988 Subtlety is not your strength 1.1528 0.04706 72 62 9 1
4989 Getting a little late in the season for that clamdiggers and lobster claws look, don't you think? 1.1528 0.04270 72 61 11 0
4990 It's not that I don't like you... 1.1528 0.05474 72 64 5 3
4991 At least I don't have to eat the paper anymore. 1.1528 0.05104 72 63 7 2
4992 I'm very open-minded, but I think you could have mentioned it in your profile. 1.1528 0.04706 72 62 9 1
4993 Look, I'm sorry you had to pay, again. 1.1528 0.04706 72 62 9 1
4994 And you only making a quarter per kid, after paying for all the stuffed animals, isn't helping much with the bills. 1.1528 0.04706 72 62 9 1
4995 You could have at least tried the crab salad.. 1.1528 0.05474 72 64 5 3
4996 I definitely want some clarification on that "in sickness and in health" vow 1.1528 0.04270 72 61 11 0
4997 You're so crabby lately 1.1528 0.04706 72 62 9 1
4998 Just be sure you put the rubber bands back on before you greet people at the party. 1.1528 0.04270 72 61 11 0
4999 You’re carrying this poetry thing way too far! 1.1528 0.04270 72 61 11 0
5000 I'll never understand why you hate melted butter. 1.1528 0.04270 72 61 11 0
5001 Me ‘getting crabs’ is not what you think it is. 1.1528 0.04270 72 61 11 0
5002 Everything is black and white with you... except those gorgeous lobster claws. 1.1515 0.04944 66 57 8 1
5003 It's not cold enough yet to wear mittens. 1.1515 0.04447 66 56 10 0
5004 I don't care: we're having _seafood_. 1.1515 0.04944 66 57 8 1
5005 You never want to go to the buffet. 1.1515 0.05811 66 59 4 3
5006 I don’t care what Jordan Peterson told you. 1.1515 0.04944 66 57 8 1
5007 I hate your "I got mine" philosophy 1.1515 0.05395 66 58 6 2
5008 This is why I wanted a claws clause in our prenup. 1.1515 0.05395 66 58 6 2
5009 I was warned that you'd pinch me on the first date 1.1515 0.04944 66 57 8 1
5010 I don't appreciate being pinched by you. 1.1515 0.04447 66 56 10 0
5011 You think you can be a pinch hitter? 1.1515 0.05395 66 58 6 2
5012 You always make a scene. He's just a chiropractor. 1.1515 0.04944 66 57 8 1
5013 That’s not what I meant for pinching pennies! 1.1515 0.04447 66 56 10 0
5014 I told you to stop cracking your knuckles.y⁷ 1.1515 0.05395 66 58 6 2
5015 You should have told me you were bi-species before marrying me! 1.1515 0.04447 66 56 10 0
5016 Because! I happen to LIKE lobster bisque, Paul! 1.1515 0.04447 66 56 10 0
5017 I warned you not to touch her with your grubby hands. 1.1515 0.04944 66 57 8 1
5018 The sex is awful. His penis looks like it has been in a cheese grater. 1.1515 0.05811 66 59 4 3
5019 That's the last time I take you to a T. S. Eliot poetry slam... 1.1515 0.04944 66 57 8 1
5020 We never hug. 1.1515 0.04944 66 57 8 1
5021 No. I do not love you. I do not want you to be my lobster. 1.1515 0.05395 66 58 6 2
5022 They are my shoes and I want them back! 1.1515 0.03576 66 57 9 0
5023 And if Jordan Peterson told you to jump out of a window, would you do that, too? 1.1515 0.04944 66 57 8 1
5024 Wait, aren't these my oven gloves? 1.1515 0.04944 66 57 8 1
5025 Anything that rhymes with paws is still unacceptable. 1.1515 0.04944 66 57 8 1
5026 The marriage counselor recommended giving him melted butter next time there’s conflict. 1.1515 0.04447 66 56 10 0
5027 I just think you should pick one New England team, at least one each season. 1.1515 0.04944 66 57 8 1
5028 What you told me to be less handsy..? 1.1515 0.04944 66 57 8 1
5029 I'm not going to help you...wear a skirt next time. 1.1515 0.04944 66 57 8 1
5030 Yes, you got my nose. 1.1515 0.05395 66 58 6 2
5031 Why did you go with two pincer claws? You knew I preferred crusher claws. 1.1515 0.04944 66 57 8 1
5032 It's not you. I'm just not that into PDA. 1.1515 0.05395 66 58 6 2
5033 But next year you have to choose -- Shark Week OR Lobsterfest. 1.1515 0.04447 66 56 10 0
5034 Just because they’re red you still don’t look like Santa Clause. 1.1515 0.05395 66 58 6 2
5035 I won't be brought down by you, Sebastian. Our relationship is going sideways. 1.1515 0.05395 66 58 6 2
5036 Well, Comi-con sure sounds like a Japanese restaurant. 1.1515 0.04944 66 57 8 1
5037 Must you always put them on when we go to seafood restaurant? 1.1515 0.04447 66 56 10 0
5038 Who leaves a crab in a telepod? 1.1515 0.04944 66 57 8 1
5039 I think you took “claw is the law” too literally 1.1515 0.04944 66 57 8 1
5040 Sorry, I just prefer white claws. 1.1515 0.05811 66 59 4 3
5041 Well! Madam Smith....I'm your Prince Charming 1.1515 0.04944 66 57 8 1
5042 Disappointment at its finest 1.1515 0.05395 66 58 6 2
5043 When I asked for a different type of touch, I meant soft paws. 1.1515 0.04944 66 57 8 1
5044 It’s always seafood with your family. 1.1515 0.04447 66 56 10 0
5045 You don't wear lobster gloves to a "Lobster Shack". 1.1515 0.03576 66 57 9 0
5046 Well, you certainly are in hot water now. 1.1515 0.04944 66 57 8 1
5047 I think you are being very "Shellfish" 1.1515 0.04944 66 57 8 1
5048 She found her lobster 1.1515 0.04447 66 56 10 0
5049 I don’t believe your surgeon heard claws instead if paws.We should sue. 1.1515 0.04447 66 56 10 0
5050 You know it's just plain embarrassing 1.1515 0.04944 66 57 8 1
5051 Really? Lobster hands? 1.1515 0.04944 66 57 8 1
5052 I said, Don't touch me!" 1.1515 0.04447 66 56 10 0
5053 I'll have to soak them before the movie. 1.1515 0.05395 66 58 6 2
5054 I’m sorry honey, but I need my pot. 1.1515 0.05395 66 58 6 2
5055 You're a disgrace...picking your nose in public. 1.1515 0.04944 66 57 8 1
5056 You’ve got an answer for everything, don’t you? 1.1515 0.04944 66 57 8 1
5057 All I ask is that you consider me. 1.1515 0.05395 66 58 6 2
5058 Red...really? 1.1515 0.04447 66 56 10 0
5059 I should have suspected something on Tinder when you listed your name as Fred Lobster. 1.1507 0.04645 73 63 9 1
5060 And don't give me that old lobster claw excuse again. 1.1507 0.04645 73 63 9 1
5061 Keep your claws to yourself! 1.1507 0.04645 73 63 9 1
5062 The chill really in the air really does a number on your hands. 1.1507 0.04645 73 63 9 1
5063 I don't see why YOU'RE pouting. I'm the one who got crabs. 1.1507 0.05403 73 65 5 3
5064 I know you guys don't get on but there's no need to be so snippy 1.1507 0.05038 73 64 7 2
5065 I like melted butter, what is wrong with you? 1.1507 0.05038 73 64 7 2
5066 Next time, why don’t we just skip the foreplay. 1.1507 0.05038 73 64 7 2
5067 Lobster Jaws Lion Jaws What's the menacing impeachment flaw - A Trumpet Draw ... Without Law! Or, Legislative War ... Imposing Lawless Law! 1.1507 0.05403 73 65 5 3
5068 Your sister liked it 1.1507 0.04216 73 62 11 0
5069 And don't go thinking we're doing that trick with the herbed butter again either! 1.1507 0.04645 73 63 9 1
5070 How many times do I have to tell you, no foreplay! 1.1507 0.04645 73 63 9 1
5071 I don't want you to change who you are. I just wish that you would wear gloves when we go out. 1.1507 0.05038 73 64 7 2
5072 You never want to hold hands in public. 1.1507 0.04645 73 63 9 1
5073 At least it wasn't your head. Remember uncle Andre. 1.1507 0.04645 73 63 9 1
5074 Actually clawing is exactly the right word. 1.1507 0.05038 73 64 7 2
5075 So what makes you think you know what it's really like to claw your way up the career ladder? 1.1507 0.05038 73 64 7 2
5076 I don't think this is going to work out. 1.1507 0.04645 73 63 9 1
5077 I don’t know why exactly but sometimes I feel you are clawing at me. 1.1507 0.04645 73 63 9 1
5078 You think this is funny? 1.1507 0.04216 73 62 11 0
5079 Keep those claws away from me! 1.1507 0.05038 73 64 7 2
5080 Next time, have a "sex on the beach" instead of a "sandy claws." 1.1507 0.04216 73 62 11 0
5081 No I am not going to wear a bib. 1.1507 0.04645 73 63 9 1
5082 And to think I broke up with Kevin because he was too handsy. 1.1507 0.04645 73 63 9 1
5083 You should have told about those before we got so involved. 1.1507 0.05038 73 64 7 2
5084 The irony here is that lobster doesn’t stand a chance in the wild with your milk toast grip. 1.1507 0.04216 73 62 11 0
5085 Hot water chief -tester! 1.1507 0.04645 73 63 9 1
5086 I'm sorry. I told you before we went out that I was a little shellfish. 1.1507 0.04645 73 63 9 1
5087 So I’m crabby? You’re not even kosher! 1.1507 0.05403 73 65 5 3
5088 You’ve taken penny-pinching to a whole new level. 1.1507 0.04216 73 62 11 0
5089 Crabby is as crabby does. 1.1493 0.05318 67 59 6 2
5090 Only a "penny pitcher" wears that outfit. 1.1493 0.04875 67 58 8 1
5091 I think it's just that you're too clawing 1.1493 0.04875 67 58 8 1
5092 No, you just don't want to hold my hand. 1.1493 0.04875 67 58 8 1
5093 I don't think you really understood "Schindler's List." 1.1493 0.05728 67 60 4 3
5094 Don't expect me to take you back when you come clawing back to me 1.1493 0.04875 67 58 8 1
5095 Maybe they will help you claw back the funds, but you're sleeping in the bath, Mr. Assistant District Attorney. 1.1493 0.05318 67 59 6 2
5096 No, Jack, it's not the smell. It's the color. 1.1493 0.04386 67 57 10 0
5097 Sure you’re a vegan, but do you have to wear those claws every time we go to a seafood restaurant? 1.1493 0.04875 67 58 8 1
5098 I don't understand why you're always so crabby. 1.1493 0.04875 67 58 8 1
5099 Well, the next time you lose a bet, Richard, let’s just agree to cancel any dinner plans. 1.1493 0.05318 67 59 6 2
5100 I know you have claws but I’m busy trying to think of a stupid pun that the editors would choose to win the cartoon contest. 1.1493 0.05318 67 59 6 2
5101 Now I get it, it was not magic salad with mushrooms, but magic mushrooms salad! 1.1493 0.04875 67 58 8 1
5102 I' am tired of you eating lobster every day. 1.1493 0.04875 67 58 8 1
5103 Just because you don't eat shellfish, doesn't mean the rest of us have to suffer." Mark Cohen Buffalo Grove, I 1.1493 0.04875 67 58 8 1
5104 Don't talk to me about kinder gentler hands 1.1493 0.04875 67 58 8 1
5105 ...but you don't have to act crabby about it. 1.1493 0.04386 67 57 10 0
5106 Why do you keep handing me your fish tales? 1.1493 0.04386 67 57 10 0
5107 Colder and stinkier than scissor hands 1.1493 0.04875 67 58 8 1
5108 And ... In What world would Dave's "drawn butter" remark Not be insensitive? 1.1493 0.04875 67 58 8 1
5109 So--claw your way to the top yet? 1.1493 0.04875 67 58 8 1
5110 Will you never stop your crabbing?! 1.1493 0.04386 67 57 10 0
5111 Two simple procedures. Declawing first. 1.1493 0.04386 67 57 10 0
5112 Don’t let your reach exceed your grasp 1.1493 0.04386 67 57 10 0
5113 Now our Halloween costumes won't match up, all because you don't know what a lobsterman is. 1.1493 0.04875 67 58 8 1
5114 I said I wanted a main squeeze, not a Maine squeeze! 1.1493 0.04875 67 58 8 1
5115 So , is that a no to the rock lobster ? 1.1493 0.04386 67 57 10 0
5116 Remember, it's a first date, so keep your hands to yourself. 1.1493 0.05318 67 59 6 2
5117 Dan, why do you insist on wearing those claws in public, it's so embarrassing to be seen with you! 1.1493 0.04875 67 58 8 1
5118 I'm sick of your childish games of lobster gloves. 1.1493 0.05318 67 59 6 2
5119 Well, if you’re gonna be a fanboy of “American Horror Story,” at least you’re not Mr. Jingles from the current season... 1.1493 0.05318 67 59 6 2
5120 I should have known from your hands 1.1493 0.04386 67 57 10 0
5121 Honey, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to snap." 1.1493 0.04386 67 57 10 0
5122 Whats got you so crabby? 1.1493 0.04875 67 58 8 1
5123 Next time we go to a party keep your claws to yourself. 1.1493 0.04875 67 58 8 1
5124 Just because I can pinch like a crab, you won't go out with me? 1.1493 0.04875 67 58 8 1
5125 I was all for the clambake. 1.1493 0.04875 67 58 8 1
5126 I don't know why you are always so crabby. 1.1493 0.04386 67 57 10 0
5127 I'm positive she over charged us. 1.1493 0.04386 67 57 10 0
5128 If you play your cards right, you'll soon have them eating out of your hands 1.1493 0.04875 67 58 8 1
5129 I told you you could not rock that lobster, Fred. 1.1493 0.04386 67 57 10 0
5130 I TOLD you about them. I got them from my old boyfriend. I TOLD you. But you Just. Wouldn’t. Stop. 1.1493 0.04875 67 58 8 1
5131 I told you, Carol and Bob don't like it when you tickle their kids. 1.1493 0.04875 67 58 8 1
5132 If you think I'm going to start melting butter, Frank, you've got another think coming. 1.1493 0.04875 67 58 8 1
5133 You expect me to believe that your lawyer drafted a request to Santa for those? The Claus claws clause? You better hope he included a clawback provision. 1.1493 0.05318 67 59 6 2
5134 Your handwork in bed could be better. No, let's make it clear: It's downright crabby. 1.1493 0.04386 67 57 10 0
5135 Well, you still could pick up the phone once in a while. 1.1493 0.04875 67 58 8 1
5136 I was expecting lobster 1.1493 0.05318 67 59 6 2
5137 Look, I know what I said online about second base, but... 1.1493 0.04875 67 58 8 1
5138 I AM keeping my hands off you. 1.1493 0.04875 67 58 8 1
5139 If you really must, at least take a shave with them... 1.1493 0.05318 67 59 6 2
5140 Why are you living in such a rough neighborhood? 1.1493 0.04875 67 58 8 1
5141 I was warned you were a repeat pincher. 1.1493 0.04386 67 57 10 0
5142 You know I hate it when you start getting all crabby. 1.1493 0.04386 67 57 10 0
5143 Lois regretted her decision to accept a blind with her friends brother because he was in a pinch. 1.1493 0.05318 67 59 6 2
5144 Oh, yeah, be sure to call me when the Lob Streppelin tribute tour reaches the Garden. 1.1493 0.04386 67 57 10 0
5145 She wasn't talking about that kind of claws. 1.1493 0.05318 67 59 6 2
5146 Color in the New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest! What next? 1.1493 0.04875 67 58 8 1
5147 Well I am sorry I can't let you boil my hand. 1.1493 0.04875 67 58 8 1
5148 I didn't see that episode of "Friends." 1.1493 0.04875 67 58 8 1
5149 Seriously, 'Lobster Man'" 1.1493 0.04386 67 57 10 0
5150 Well, hell, I guess they’ll do on a pinch.” 1.1493 0.04386 67 57 10 0
5151 I TOLD you that water was hot! 1.1493 0.04875 67 58 8 1
5152 I really don’t think you’re in any position to say I’m being snippy! 1.1493 0.04875 67 58 8 1
5153 Who are you calling crabby? 1.1493 0.03529 67 58 9 0
5154 Of course my Jewish kosher parents weren’t going to think those are funny. 1.1493 0.04875 67 58 8 1
5155 Gah! I hate the B-52s! 1.1493 0.04875 67 58 8 1
5156 Almost as bad as the guy who wore his company windbreaker out to dinner, but only ALMOST. 1.1493 0.04875 67 58 8 1
5157 Well, the girls at the office are totally fed up with your attention ! 1.1493 0.04386 67 57 10 0
5158 Why can't you commit to me the way you commit to an all-you-can-eat seafood buffet? 1.1493 0.05318 67 59 6 2
5159 I am sorry you are disappointed. I see now you wanted more. 1.1493 0.04875 67 58 8 1
5160 I just don’t think this is going to work out, Claude. 1.1493 0.04875 67 58 8 1
5161 So what if I did order the lobster? 1.1493 0.04386 67 57 10 0
5162 Definitely not how I see a seafood buffet. 1.1493 0.04386 67 57 10 0
5163 So where are we going for dinner 1.1493 0.04386 67 57 10 0
5164 Enough with the Fra Diavolo! 1.1493 0.04386 67 57 10 0
5165 Don't judge me until you've walked a mile in my claws. 1.1493 0.05318 67 59 6 2
5166 It's the only thing I could find that fit your personality. 1.1493 0.04875 67 58 8 1
5167 How do you forget to put sunscreen there? 1.1493 0.05318 67 59 6 2
5168 So I’m the other Mrs. Norman Maine? 1.1493 0.05318 67 59 6 2
5169 No,I don't want your brother Edward to join us. 1.1493 0.05318 67 59 6 2
5170 You we’re not listening. I told you not to get near the hot tub. So, talk to the hand. 1.1493 0.04875 67 58 8 1
5171 I don't care if I was being difficult, she didn't have to call me crabby. 1.1493 0.04875 67 58 8 1
5172 I've told you before-- you have no idea how to eat sushi ! 1.1493 0.04875 67 58 8 1
5173 Sooooo - what would you say to a little pink sauce tonight? 1.1493 0.04386 67 57 10 0
5174 Look, this is only going to work if I get to be the crabby one. 1.1493 0.04875 67 58 8 1
5175 I thought we were going to taste them, not wear them. 1.1493 0.05318 67 59 6 2
5176 Well, Jeremy, think of it like there is a huge beak where my mouth should be. 1.1471 0.05244 68 60 6 2
5177 No one has ever accused me of being too handsy before. 1.1471 0.04807 68 59 8 1
5178 I know it was on Broadway. But it's still a kids show. 1.1471 0.04807 68 59 8 1
5179 Jordan Peterson also talks about cleaning your room - you could've started with that instead! 1.1471 0.03484 68 59 9 0
5180 This was our first date and instead of pawing me, you're clawing me! I'll walk home my myself. 1.1471 0.04807 68 59 8 1
5181 I wished I were a pair of ragged claws. 1.1471 0.04327 68 58 10 0
5182 For the last time, I don't want seafood. 1.1471 0.04327 68 58 10 0
5183 I told you not to eat all that lobster only with your hands. 1.1471 0.04327 68 58 10 0
5184 Tell me again why you don't want to attend my knitting class? 1.1471 0.04807 68 59 8 1
5185 Next time forget the damn MetroCard and take a cab. 1.1471 0.05647 68 61 4 3
5186 Looks like I've caught you in flagrante delicious. 1.1471 0.04327 68 58 10 0
5187 Your beard looks terrible. You look like crab. 1.1471 0.05244 68 60 6 2
5188 Get your own hands back or else I’ll call you Pinchy for the rest of your life! 1.1471 0.04807 68 59 8 1
5189 I told you already. I'm not sharing my meal. 1.1471 0.04807 68 59 8 1
5190 What really embarrassed me was when you asked for a bib with your Lobster Newburg. 1.1471 0.04807 68 59 8 1
5191 Do you ever feel like a pair of ragged claws, scuttling across the floors of silent seas? 1.1471 0.04327 68 58 10 0
5192 I don't care what you say, I am not wearing the plastic bib! 1.1471 0.04807 68 59 8 1
5193 So you want to draw some butter with a pencil, right? 1.1385 0.04842 65 57 7 1
5194 I grew these claws for your mouth. 1.1385 0.04317 65 56 9 0
5195 It's not that you wear them. It's that you insist that we play rummy! 1.1385 0.04317 65 56 9 0
5196 The cold shoulder. Yup... the only logical game Here" J K Fuller, Genoa, NV 1.1385 0.04317 65 56 9 0
5197 Well, you could have told me, before we met, that you had an allergic reaction to your last boyfriend. 1.1385 0.04317 65 56 9 0
5198 I think I'm dreaming. Is there something you can do about that? 1.1385 0.04317 65 56 9 0
5199 It means 'fear of enclosed spaces,' There is no need to overreact 1.1385 0.04317 65 56 9 0
5200 Frankly, RSVPing affirmatively to your brother's beach party may not have been a very good idea. 1.1385 0.05315 65 58 5 2
5201 I'm a strong independent woman, Phil. I don't need a man or claws to defend me. 1.1385 0.04842 65 57 7 1
5202 It is good we're taking a sidestreet, the avenue is full of fisherman baiting traps. 1.1385 0.04842 65 57 7 1
5203 Confess. You’re trying to claw your way to the top by befriending all bottom feeders. 1.1385 0.04317 65 56 9 0
5204 Sometimes I think you're some kind of underwater animal, the way you clam up on me. 1.1385 0.04317 65 56 9 0
5205 My lobster will understand metaphors. 1.1385 0.04317 65 56 9 0
5206 My mother warned me that you were ALL hands! 1.1385 0.04317 65 56 9 0
5207 You couldn’t possibly have problems hanging on to a girlfriend. 1.1385 0.04842 65 57 7 1
5208 Its time to take off your kid gloves and get serious 1.1385 0.04317 65 56 9 0
5209 It is just like you, the first time in your life you show any empathy, it is for a crustacean. 1.1385 0.04842 65 57 7 1
5210 Nephropidae...Nephropidae. I specifically said--SWF, prefers arachnid mascots. 1.1385 0.04842 65 57 7 1
5211 I don't know how you ever picked me up. 1.1385 0.04842 65 57 7 1
5212 It’s lobster, lobster, lobster for you. Why can’t you order shrimp once in a while? 1.1385 0.05315 65 58 5 2
5213 Remember what I told you--no cracking your knuckles in the seafood restaurant. 1.1385 0.04842 65 57 7 1
5214 I love these walks with you. I’m nearly fully out of my shell. 1.1385 0.05315 65 58 5 2
5215 When your profile said “Looking for my Lobster” I thought it was a Friend’s reference. 1.1364 0.04257 66 57 9 0
5216 ...and you call me crabby. 1.1290 0.05385 62 56 4 2
5217 Well at least your tinder profile is honest, but I didn't enjoy spoon feeding you dinner. 1.1290 0.04292 62 54 8 0
5218 A pedicure shouldn’t cost “market price”. 1.1290 0.04869 62 55 6 1
5219 I'm done with your fish stories, Seth. 1.1290 0.04869 62 55 6 1
5220 Her new boyfriend is too clingy, right?" 1.1290 0.04292 62 54 8 0
5221 You're always so snippy with me. 1.1290 0.04292 62 54 8 0
5222 My friends warned me you were all hands... 1.1290 0.04292 62 54 8 0
5223 You are most definitely not my lobster. 1.1290 0.04869 62 55 6 1
5224 You can't ever say I'm crabby again. 1.1290 0.05385 62 56 4 2
5225 No, I don't think my parents will like them Adam 1.1290 0.04869 62 55 6 1
5226 Well, I think it's a horribly sexist way to get a woman's attention. 1.1290 0.04869 62 55 6 1
5227 Lobster bibs? How about toilet seat covers? 1.1290 0.04292 62 54 8 0
5228 I guess you'll have to change your name to Edward now. 1.1290 0.04292 62 54 8 0
5229 I just wanted to hold hands... 1.1290 0.04292 62 54 8 0
5230 Are you mad because I clawed my self to the top. 1.1290 0.04292 62 54 8 0
5231 Yes, I agreed to have dinner with you, but you said they wouldn't grow back. 1.1290 0.04869 62 55 6 1
5232 This is not what I meant when I said I wanted a white claw. 1.1290 0.04292 62 54 8 0
5233 I thought you were looking for your "lobster", Phoebe -Kristie G, Dallas 1.1290 0.04869 62 55 6 1
5234 So, your Ex gave you those gloves, eh? 1.1290 0.04869 62 55 6 1
5235 I wish you'd change into your work clothes after you get to Red Lobster! 1.1290 0.05385 62 56 4 2
5236 I don't care that we're dating. You can't pinch me like that, especially there! 1.1290 0.04292 62 54 8 0
5237 They are prejudiced. Only I know how amazing these hands are. 1.1290 0.04869 62 55 6 1
5238 When we get there you just go crazy 1.1290 0.04292 62 54 8 0
5239 They're endorsed by Screen Timers Anonymous. 1.1290 0.04292 62 54 8 0
5240 I'm sick and tired of your crabbiness 1.1290 0.05385 62 56 4 2
5241 And that's what you get for cheating, Glen. 1.1290 0.04869 62 55 6 1
5242 Stop clicking those claws. I don’t know why I decided to hang out with you. 1.1290 0.04292 62 54 8 0
5243 After I broke up with John, everyone said I'd finally find my lobster. But this? 1.1290 0.04869 62 55 6 1
5244 I asked you to stop pawing at me. That didn't mean you should start clawing at me. 1.1290 0.04292 62 54 8 0
5245 I'm not paying market rate to hold your hand, Jeff. 1.1290 0.04292 62 54 8 0
5246 Just because I wanted Chinese the other night and you wanted lobster, you don't have to hold a grudge ! 1.1290 0.05385 62 56 4 2
5247 No, I don't think there's a market for Edward Lobster-hands. 1.1290 0.05385 62 56 4 2
5248 How would I know “anything you want” meant “anything but seafood” 1.1290 0.04869 62 55 6 1
5249 But Manhands, I did it for you! 1.1290 0.04292 62 54 8 0
5250 Of the two of us, I thought I'd be the crabby one 1.1290 0.04869 62 55 6 1
5251 Having those hideous claws is no reason to think you can get away with anything. Anyway, red clashes with the rest of the house. 1.1290 0.04869 62 55 6 1
5252 Who looks a little crabby now? 1.1290 0.04869 62 55 6 1
5253 Our divorce has been on the rocks for years. He never touches me anymore. 1.1290 0.04292 62 54 8 0
5254 I just wish you weren't so crabby. 1.1290 0.05385 62 56 4 2
5255 You always insist on having the perfect outfit for any event. 1.1290 0.04292 62 54 8 0
5256 Your Tinder bio left out that you were the inventor of the screening equipment for breast cancer. 1.1290 0.04292 62 54 8 0
5257 Honey, your claws are showing. 1.1290 0.04869 62 55 6 1
5258 You're not going to claw your way out of this! 1.1290 0.04292 62 54 8 0
5259 I just don't believe you're allergic to drawn butter. 1.1290 0.04869 62 55 6 1
5260 I saw you getting handsy with that waitress. 1.1290 0.05385 62 56 4 2
5261 I don’t understand why you have to make a scene every time you see lobster on the menu. Will Fortune Lexington, KY 1.1290 0.04869 62 55 6 1
5262 I refuse to keep telling you... No... 1.1290 0.04292 62 54 8 0
5263 I should have never mentioned my ex's shellfish allergy. 1.1290 0.05385 62 56 4 2
5264 If you persist with this charade, you know what I'm gonna want for dinner. 1.1290 0.04869 62 55 6 1
5265 Just don’t drink too much water! 1.1290 0.04292 62 54 8 0
5266 So, I guess you're feeling crabby. 1.1290 0.04292 62 54 8 0
5267 Of course that's not what they meant by "LobsterFest at Red Lobster"! 1.1290 0.04292 62 54 8 0
5268 Honey I don't think those fit the parameters of the Impeachment Clause. 1.1290 0.04292 62 54 8 0
5269 I might be in a bad mood, but you're getting really crabby. 1.1290 0.04869 62 55 6 1
5270 But you're just always so shellfish, Jonathan 1.1290 0.04292 62 54 8 0
5271 Love your hands. Hate you. 1.1290 0.04292 62 54 8 0
5272 Put your claws away, please! 1.1290 0.04869 62 55 6 1
5273 Technically, I’m only 1/10 cannibal. 1.1290 0.04869 62 55 6 1
5274 Me? You're more crabby than I am. 1.1290 0.04869 62 55 6 1
5275 You never wanna hold hands in public. 1.1290 0.04869 62 55 6 1
5276 Those shorts aren't dresscode." - Bridget O'Neill, New York, N 1.1290 0.04869 62 55 6 1
5277 Lobster AGAIN tonight 1.1290 0.04869 62 55 6 1
5278 You always make such a scene when there’s not enough melted butter. 1.1290 0.04869 62 55 6 1
5279 You'll never understand how embarrassing it is when people stare at the psoriasis on my hands. 1.1290 0.04292 62 54 8 0
5280 Yes, not even on St. Patrick's day. 1.1290 0.05385 62 56 4 2
5281 I think we should slow down. You've become too clingy. 1.1290 0.04292 62 54 8 0
5282 No, your the crabby one... 1.1290 0.04292 62 54 8 0
5283 At least his radioactive spider bite gave him super powers. 1.1290 0.04292 62 54 8 0
5284 Stop asking me why I'm feeling crabby! 1.1290 0.04869 62 55 6 1
5285 You know how hard it is to make your bed every day with these. 1.1290 0.04292 62 54 8 0
5286 Do not get crabby with me! I caught you red-handed. 1.1290 0.04292 62 54 8 0
5287 Ever since our trip to Maine you have become so clingy. 1.1290 0.04869 62 55 6 1
5288 I've never met any one so ham-fisted. 1.1290 0.04292 62 54 8 0
5289 I thought you said lobster was in at the moment.. 1.1290 0.05385 62 56 4 2
5290 Well, when your profile said you had ‘’clawed your way to the top’ I was picturing something different. 1.1290 0.04869 62 55 6 1
5291 (Bummer blind date) I thought you said you were an OBstetrician! 1.1290 0.04292 62 54 8 0
5292 You sure are one pair of ragged claws. 1.1290 0.04292 62 54 8 0
5293 Was there a clause in our prenuptial agreement? 1.1290 0.04869 62 55 6 1
5294 Crabby? Crabby? You're calling ME crabby? 1.1290 0.04292 62 54 8 0
5295 I'm sorry, but you still don't hold a candle to Johnny Depp. 1.1290 0.04292 62 54 8 0
5296 Would you please tell me again why your favorite childhood dream came true? 1.1290 0.04292 62 54 8 0
5297 Jeez, I thought you migrated north. 1.1290 0.04292 62 54 8 0
5298 You're accusing ME of being crabby? 1.1290 0.04292 62 54 8 0
5299 You don't look like your profile picture 1.1290 0.05385 62 56 4 2
5300 I wore these because you are always so crabby. I thought it would make a fun joke. 1.1290 0.05385 62 56 4 2
5301 Why did you have to shake hands with my boss? 1.1290 0.04292 62 54 8 0
5302 Not my fault. It was the other guy who said the gloves were coming off! 1.1290 0.04869 62 55 6 1
5303 I'm on the tail end of a succulent, juicy story, and I'd like to pick your claws for information! 1.1290 0.04869 62 55 6 1
5304 Let the record show the reason I'm not holding your hands isn't the pinching, it's because you wore shorts for our fancy date. 1.1290 0.04292 62 54 8 0
5305 But you said you loved lobster and the claws were your very favorite part?! 1.1290 0.04869 62 55 6 1
5306 You could have asked if I wanted a pair of giant lobster claws. 1.1290 0.04869 62 55 6 1
5307 The lobster bib was ridiculous enough, now this? 1.1290 0.04869 62 55 6 1
5308 This is exactly why I tell you not to play with the lobster claws at the fish market. 1.1290 0.04869 62 55 6 1
5309 I’ve heard of werewolves but I’ve never heard of werelobsters! 1.1290 0.04292 62 54 8 0
5310 let me get your snap 1.1290 0.04292 62 54 8 0
5311 You can use my cracked-had cream. 1.1290 0.04292 62 54 8 0
5312 I don't care what your hands are, you were no 5 star meal to me last night. 1.1290 0.04869 62 55 6 1
5313 You took it the wrong way when I said you are too hands on. 1.1290 0.04292 62 54 8 0
5314 I told you, you should have stayed with boxing. 1.1290 0.04869 62 55 6 1
5315 Kevin, I may complain a lot, but you're taking this crab thing a bit too far! 1.1290 0.05385 62 56 4 2
5316 Listen man, I've always enjoyed hanging out with you, but I literally couldn't care less about Jordan B Peterson's twelve rules to life. I don't get it, you keep talking about lobsters like it's joke or something! I don't know what that means! 1.1290 0.05385 62 56 4 2
5317 I'd like to get a bite to eat. 1.1290 0.04869 62 55 6 1
5318 What a dream, a husband who walks around in jorts. Somebody pinch me. 1.1290 0.05385 62 56 4 2
5319 So I said you were crabby sometimes... 1.1290 0.05385 62 56 4 2
5320 I'm sorry, I just find you so clawing. 1.1290 0.04292 62 54 8 0
5321 Cher, I dun tol' you! I only suck the haids of REAL boiled crawfish. 1.1290 0.04869 62 55 6 1
5322 You are not touching me with those! 1.1290 0.04292 62 54 8 0
5323 At least I'm not crabby. 1.1290 0.04292 62 54 8 0
5324 This is the last time I go shopping with you. 1.1290 0.04292 62 54 8 0
5325 Honey, don’t be mad. You knew I was transitioning 1.1290 0.04869 62 55 6 1
5326 I thought First Prize would be two lobster dinners. 1.1290 0.04292 62 54 8 0
5327 Worst catfish ever! 1.1290 0.04292 62 54 8 0
5328 I'v been clawing my way to the top, and this is all I have to show for it. No logo T shirt and non cargo shorts. 1.1290 0.04292 62 54 8 0
5329 Just don't try to hold my hand again. 1.1290 0.05385 62 56 4 2
5330 ...And...Absolutely. No. Fingering. Ever. 1.1290 0.04869 62 55 6 1
5331 I knew you were going to be the only one dressed up for the "All You Can Eat" lobster dinner. 1.1290 0.04292 62 54 8 0
5332 It's not just picking up the tab and having to walk because you can't drive, It's because I actually really, really hate seafood." 1.1290 0.05385 62 56 4 2
5333 Crayfish, Crawfish, it’s not what I signed on for ! 1.1290 0.04869 62 55 6 1
5334 Now is not the time to start acting shellfish, Brad. 1.1290 0.05385 62 56 4 2
5335 I can't. I have a shellfish allergy. 1.1290 0.04869 62 55 6 1
5336 You are the King of all crabs! 1.1290 0.04292 62 54 8 0
5337 I tol'dja, t.s., be careful what you wish for... 1.1290 0.04869 62 55 6 1
5338 I don't mind turning all the doorknobs, I just wish you'd crush a small oceanic creature every once in a while. 1.1290 0.04869 62 55 6 1
5339 How many times have I asked you not to pinch me when I fall asleep at the movies? 1.1290 0.05385 62 56 4 2
5340 That's not what I meant when I said your hands were clammy. 1.1290 0.04869 62 55 6 1
5341 I am working on a witty comment about the colored lobster hands in our black and white world. Just you wait. 1.1290 0.04869 62 55 6 1
5342 You could've at least worn a button up. 1.1290 0.04292 62 54 8 0
5343 Damn it, Jeff! I told you not to saw off your hands and replace them with lobster claws. 1.1290 0.05385 62 56 4 2
5344 As long as we don’t go to a seafood restaurant. 1.1290 0.04292 62 54 8 0
5345 Since when did you get so crabby? 1.1290 0.04292 62 54 8 0
5346 You’re wrong! My hands do not feel clammy. 1.1290 0.04292 62 54 8 0
5347 Those claws should keep you from texting all the time. 1.1290 0.04869 62 55 6 1
5348 It's alright to go vegan - but you seem to be over-identifying with your food! 1.1290 0.04292 62 54 8 0
5349 The restaurant advertised "All you can eat, NOT all you can take" !. 1.1290 0.05385 62 56 4 2
5350 They keep catching you shoplifting red handed and you say you don't know why? 1.1290 0.04292 62 54 8 0
5351 I can’t stand you when you get crabby 1.1290 0.04869 62 55 6 1
5352 I'll talk to you when you can act less crabby 1.1290 0.04292 62 54 8 0
5353 How many times have I told you I only eat the middle section of the lobster! 1.1290 0.04292 62 54 8 0
5354 Your dating profile was a bit misleading too. 1.1290 0.04292 62 54 8 0
5355 Apparently, he forgot about the no lobster claws in our prenup again. 1.1290 0.05385 62 56 4 2
5356 A bib is enough for most people. 1.1290 0.04292 62 54 8 0
5357 Enough already, you're not my lobster. 1.1290 0.04292 62 54 8 0
5358 Ok fine, we're both equally crabby! 1.1290 0.04869 62 55 6 1
5359 Well, Claude, clawing your way to the top has done nothing for my sex life. 1.1290 0.04292 62 54 8 0
5360 You're just lucky they didn't pull out the zip-ties 1.1290 0.04292 62 54 8 0
5361 I told you it was a stupid idea to replace your hands with lobster claws. 1.1290 0.04292 62 54 8 0
5362 Fine, the guy at Mandela's funeral was more ridiculous. 1.1290 0.04869 62 55 6 1
5363 I can't feel a thing either. 1.1290 0.04292 62 54 8 0
5364 Well, now you'll just feel clammy ALL the time. 1.1290 0.04292 62 54 8 0
5365 How about crab cakes tonight? 1.1290 0.04292 62 54 8 0
5366 I'm not going to hold hands with you if you're going to act crabby 1.1290 0.04869 62 55 6 1
5367 And I thought you were crabby before dinner... 1.1290 0.04869 62 55 6 1
5368 Those new gloves make it very difficult to hold hands. 1.1290 0.04869 62 55 6 1
5369 If you were king crab instead of snow crab my parents would have treated you like royalty. 1.1290 0.04869 62 55 6 1
5370 Now, who's snappy?!! 1.1290 0.04869 62 55 6 1
5371 Mom please, my nose is itchy,I promise, I'll be a good boy. 1.1290 0.05385 62 56 4 2
5372 No, you cannot rub butter sauce all over me. 1.1290 0.04869 62 55 6 1
5373 I wish you wouldn't get snappy with me. 1.1290 0.04869 62 55 6 1
5374 Look, it's not that I don't think you're bright and creative, it's that puppetry doesn't fit into your skill-set. 1.1290 0.04869 62 55 6 1
5375 How emabarrassing, thought she said it was a crab party. 1.1290 0.05385 62 56 4 2
5376 Next time, let me buy you mittens. 1.1290 0.04869 62 55 6 1
5377 I know it's genetic, but it doesn't mean you need to pinch me in public! 1.1290 0.04869 62 55 6 1
5378 You can try all you want to claw your way out, but just admit you were wrong 1.1290 0.04869 62 55 6 1
5379 I must be dreaming. Pinch me. 1.1290 0.04869 62 55 6 1
5380 Just one accessory for each of us? Yes, that was the deal. 1.1290 0.05385 62 56 4 2
5381 I said lobster red handbag, not hands 1.1290 0.04292 62 54 8 0
5382 Pinch me! I must be dreaming because it looks like you have claws for hands! 1.1290 0.04292 62 54 8 0
5383 His dating profile didn't mention lobster claw hands. 1.1290 0.04869 62 55 6 1
5384 You’ll never claw your way to the top with that outfit. 1.1290 0.04869 62 55 6 1
5385 He challenged you, Larry. You had the right to choose the weapon. 1.1290 0.04292 62 54 8 0
5386 Who would have thought I'd miss when you were a cheesehead? 1.1290 0.05385 62 56 4 2
5387 I don't care that Marco Rubio was impressed. 1.1290 0.04869 62 55 6 1
5388 It's just that sometimes you get so, well, irritable. No, that's not quite it... 1.1270 0.05303 63 57 4 2
5389 You don't snap at ME! 1.1270 0.04796 63 56 6 1
5390 I would have been a lot less embarrassed if you'd just have asked for a doggy bag!" "This is most definitely the very, absolutely, last time we go out together, Mr. Weinstein! 1.1270 0.05303 63 57 4 2
5391 No, Darryll. You're shit at foosball. 1.1270 0.04796 63 56 6 1
5392 My love language is no longer touch. 1.1270 0.04796 63 56 6 1
5393 I feel like this relationship is slipping through my fingers 1.1270 0.04796 63 56 6 1
5394 I wish you'd just get over your phobia of drawn butter! 1.1270 0.04796 63 56 6 1
5395 I don’t know if it made it worse, but boiling them certainly didn’t improve anything. 1.1270 0.04229 63 55 8 0
5396 Do you have to wear absolutely everything on your sleeve? 1.1270 0.04229 63 55 8 0
5397 I prefer my dates to have man hands! 1.1270 0.04229 63 55 8 0
5398 I told you that that floozie was trying to get her claws into you! 1.1270 0.04796 63 56 6 1
5399 If you answer me, 'Just beclaws' one more time... 1.1270 0.05303 63 57 4 2
5400 I'm tired of you being shellfish! 1.1270 0.05303 63 57 4 2
5401 I told you artificial insemination could be dangerous 1.1270 0.04229 63 55 8 0
5402 Forget it, Jason, you're still not my lobster. 1.1270 0.05303 63 57 4 2
5403 Phoebe was wrong! 1.1270 0.04796 63 56 6 1
5404 I miss those days when you were a pound and a quarter. 1.1270 0.04796 63 56 6 1
5405 And all that BUTTER! 1.1270 0.04796 63 56 6 1
5406 Clever pulling rank and connections to score big one! 1.1270 0.04229 63 55 8 0
5407 I told you you set the hot tub too high! 1.1270 0.04229 63 55 8 0
5408 I didn’t mind the weak grip, honestly. 1.1270 0.04796 63 56 6 1
5409 I’m afraid you need more than an editor. 1.1270 0.04796 63 56 6 1
5410 You should have been a pair a ragged claws xcuttling across the floors of silent seas 1.1270 0.05303 63 57 4 2
5411 Well at least I don't have to buy pincers. 1.1270 0.04229 63 55 8 0
5412 I thought clawing your way to the top wouldnt be so literal. 1.1270 0.04229 63 55 8 0
5413 My feelings are hurt literally. 1.1270 0.04229 63 55 8 0
5414 Jesus, Kevin. Alright! I'll go see "Lobster Man Returns Again." But only if I can emasculate you by seeing "Downton Abbey" three times with me. 1.1270 0.04796 63 56 6 1
5415 First you tell me you're a lobsterman, then you give me crabs ... nice first date, Norman. 1.1270 0.04229 63 55 8 0
5416 For the last time, I'm Not dreaming! 1.1270 0.04229 63 55 8 0
5417 I told you I was from Maryland. 1.1270 0.04796 63 56 6 1
5418 A werewolf I could take, but crabhands? No thanks. 1.1270 0.04229 63 55 8 0
5419 Trust me, your friendly pinches are overrated. 1.1270 0.04796 63 56 6 1
5420 I can't say anything without you snapping at me! 1.1270 0.04229 63 55 8 0
5421 Who's crabby now? 1.1270 0.04796 63 56 6 1
5422 Yes, you're a hugger, but I'm sure I had mentioned Dad's seafood allergy... 1.1270 0.04796 63 56 6 1
5423 Big whoop, you grilled the chops. 1.1270 0.04229 63 55 8 0
5424 C'mon, they crack right off. 1.1270 0.04796 63 56 6 1
5425 You don't have to be so crabby about it. 1.1270 0.04229 63 55 8 0
5426 I expressly asked you to keep your claws off me! 1.1270 0.04229 63 55 8 0
5427 Did you think I wouldn't see that you've gotten yourself into some really hot water? 1.1270 0.04229 63 55 8 0
5428 The pincers give me the willies. 1.1270 0.04229 63 55 8 0
5429 I didn’t kiss you. I just wanted to see if you had an eye disease before I picked you to eat 1.1270 0.04796 63 56 6 1
5430 I'm feeling catty that my claws are so much smaller than your claws. 1.1270 0.04796 63 56 6 1
5431 Actually Jason, you don't crack me up. 1.1270 0.04229 63 55 8 0
5432 Keep your lobsters to yourself. 1.1270 0.04796 63 56 6 1
5433 Well, honey, at least they complement your mood. 1.1270 0.04229 63 55 8 0
5434 Hey Honey, What's wrong?" "What's wrong? Your claws are slightly darker than the ones you've posted 1.1270 0.04229 63 55 8 0
5435 I get the silence,but the ragged claws? 1.1270 0.04796 63 56 6 1
5436 Dating profiles really ought to have a "hand type" field. 1.1270 0.04796 63 56 6 1
5437 Look, Paul, I told you to stay out of the hot tub. 1.1270 0.04229 63 55 8 0
5438 You never wanted to hold hands anyway 1.1270 0.04229 63 55 8 0
5439 You had to take your gloves off, didn't you.... 1.1270 0.04796 63 56 6 1
5440 Now, now dear, let’s not be crabby. 1.1270 0.04229 63 55 8 0
5441 Why so crabby? 1.1270 0.04796 63 56 6 1
5442 Why does everyone have to know that you clawed your way to the top? 1.1270 0.04229 63 55 8 0
5443 Why the moaning? Weren't you complaining last time that I didn't fight for your sake?" Vivian Avraamidou, Famagusta, Cypru 1.1270 0.04229 63 55 8 0
5444 it's not that I WISH you were a mechanic, I'm just saying you could reword your Bumble profile... 1.1270 0.05303 63 57 4 2
5445 So I know this great seafood restaurant that's having a special on cra....oops...never mind. 1.1270 0.04796 63 56 6 1
5446 I KNOW you're lactose intolerant. But you can still have butter; right? 1.1270 0.04796 63 56 6 1
5447 Why can't we just go out for seafood tonight? 1.1270 0.04229 63 55 8 0
5448 Parody is not a fitting memorial to the artistic integrity of Heath Ledger et al. 1.1270 0.04796 63 56 6 1
5449 There are SO many reasons I didn’t want you to get those. Your inability to change a tire the least among them. 1.1270 0.04796 63 56 6 1
5450 Message received, loud and clear. No hand holding. 1.1270 0.04229 63 55 8 0
5451 You're becoming a real crab! 1.1270 0.04229 63 55 8 0
5452 I'm a virgin! How did I get crabs? 1.1270 0.05303 63 57 4 2
5453 We can't go through this every Thanksgiving. 1.1270 0.04796 63 56 6 1
5454 You don't see how that could come off as a little shellfish, Brian? 1.1270 0.04796 63 56 6 1
5455 This is what I end up with when I speed date at a seafood restaurant, a man with lobster genes. 1.1270 0.05303 63 57 4 2
5456 After the radiation I still couldn’t shoot spiderwebs 1.1270 0.04796 63 56 6 1
5457 I told you to order a Lobster Gram, not lobster hands. 1.1270 0.04229 63 55 8 0
5458 We know who isn’t mating for life She wanted the lobster claws for herself There’s only one true aggressor here He didn’t win her anything at the fair. “I don’t understand why you can just show me your hands” 1.1270 0.05303 63 57 4 2
5459 "and quit complaining about your carpal tunnel syndrome! 1.1270 0.04229 63 55 8 0
5460 We are never watching American Horror Story again. 1.1270 0.04229 63 55 8 0
5461 You don't have to tell me how long it takes to take off your pants. I'm seeing a guy whose all thumbs. 1.1270 0.05303 63 57 4 2
5462 No, it is not now my responsibility to take care of “Little Donny”. 1.1270 0.04229 63 55 8 0
5463 OK, I can see that makes it difficult to shave every day, but... 1.1270 0.04229 63 55 8 0
5464 I don't wear my crabbiness on my sleeve. 1.1270 0.04796 63 56 6 1
5465 This is worse than being catfished 1.1270 0.05303 63 57 4 2
5466 You need a new wallet. I'm tired of paying for dinner because you 'can't reach it' 1.1186 0.04246 59 52 7 0
5467 The last thing I want right now is for you to pinch my hand. 1.1186 0.04246 59 52 7 0
5468 Is everything funny to you, Gerald? Even losing your hands? 1.1186 0.04886 59 53 5 1
5469 It’s metoo time, knuckleclaws- no consent, no pinching! 1.1186 0.04246 59 52 7 0
5470 I warned you about those all-you-can eat restaurants. 1.1186 0.04246 59 52 7 0
5471 Keep your dirty claws off me! 1.1186 0.04246 59 52 7 0
5472 We’re having dinner with the Stevenson’s at 7. Don’t order the lobster, or anything expensive, we’ll figure this out. 1.1186 0.04246 59 52 7 0
5473 You need to learn to be more claws-off! 1.1186 0.05451 59 54 3 2
5474 I told you, don't take me to expensive restaurants, I don't know how to open a lobster! 1.1186 0.04246 59 52 7 0
5475 Maybe you should get the crab for dinner it will match your attitude 1.1186 0.04246 59 52 7 0
5476 Claw at me one more time Harold, I swear... 1.1167 0.04808 60 54 5 1
5477 And no one appreciates Eliot any more... 1.1167 0.04179 60 53 7 0
5478 You just had to come in last in fantasy football this year..." 1.1148 0.05278 61 56 3 2
5479 You're just too clawing. 1.1148 0.05278 61 56 3 2
5480 "Clawback? No kidding. 1.1148 0.04115 61 54 7 0
5481 I don't ask much, you could at least claw up after yourself every day. 1.1071 0.04887 56 51 4 1
5482 And who is going to make a movie on Mr. Clawhands, genius? 1.1071 0.04887 56 51 4 1
5483 I prefer the white glove treatment! 1.1071 0.04171 56 50 6 0
5484 So, you're too manly to use hand-lotion? 1.1071 0.04887 56 51 4 1
5485 this is exactly why we're in couples therapy Richard... 1.1071 0.04171 56 50 6 0
5486 Must you always show up the teppan chefs. 1.1071 0.04887 56 51 4 1
5487 I should've known when your profile said you were an Alaskan King 1.1071 0.04887 56 51 4 1
5488 Did you think to ask me? Maybe I don't like lobster! 1.1071 0.04171 56 50 6 0
5489 I’m staying with you beclaws i love you. 1.1071 0.04171 56 50 6 0
5490 He is never subtle. 1.1071 0.04171 56 50 6 0
5491 You knew damn well before you took me in. 1.1071 0.04887 56 51 4 1
5492 Dear, is it the least bit possible that you are projecting your own crabbiness onto me? 1.1071 0.04171 56 50 6 0
5493 Well, yes, I suppose it is better than the 'Jaws' option. 1.1071 0.04887 56 51 4 1
5494 Really... I would have donned long pants but the zipper.... 1.1071 0.04171 56 50 6 0
5495 That's not how crabs work, moron. 1.1071 0.04171 56 50 6 0
5496 You’re lucky you only slept an hour. 1.1071 0.04887 56 51 4 1
5497 Don't deny it, I got you red handed. 1.1071 0.04171 56 50 6 0
5498 I told you it wasn't a good idea to be bitten by a radioactive lobster. 1.1071 0.04171 56 50 6 0
5499 This weeks contest was a bear dripping with water. The caption reads :you must be a Drizzly Bear 1.1071 0.04171 56 50 6 0
5500 When you open a door for a woman, you're supposed to use the handle 1.1071 0.04171 56 50 6 0
5501 When the dim sum place offered two crab claws for the price of one, I had no idea you would order two to go 1.1071 0.04171 56 50 6 0
5502 You're Jewish too! I just don't wear my claws to Lobsterfest 1.1071 0.04887 56 51 4 1
5503 I said that I was afraid my new client might be a " mobster*. 1.1071 0.04887 56 51 4 1
5504 Just because you are a penny pincher shouldn’t mean I have to pay for everything. 1.1071 0.04171 56 50 6 0
5505 I wish you would stop pinching me in public! 1.1071 0.04171 56 50 6 0
5506 Its not my fault you didn’t see that my eharmony profile said I am allergic to shellfish. 1.1071 0.04171 56 50 6 0
5507 I told you, you’re too clingy. 1.1071 0.04887 56 51 4 1
5508 Come as you claw, seafood soiree" has to be a misprint 1.1071 0.04887 56 51 4 1
5509 Like it's our fault she's allergenic to shell fish 1.1071 0.04171 56 50 6 0
5510 You'll never understand, Nate. I'm sensitive about my ears. 1.1071 0.04171 56 50 6 0
5511 Keep your mitts to yourself, buster. And shave the scruff while you're at it. 1.1071 0.04887 56 51 4 1
5512 If you're trying to claw your way back into my affections, forget it. You're way too crabby. 1.1071 0.04171 56 50 6 0
5513 I presume your hairstylist is Edward Scissorhands? 1.1071 0.04887 56 51 4 1
5514 If I can watch Edward Scissorhands with you every Saturday, you can walk with me now and then. 1.1071 0.04171 56 50 6 0
5515 I clawed my way to the top even wearing short pants. 1.1071 0.04171 56 50 6 0
5516 You can be so crabby sometimes! 1.1071 0.04171 56 50 6 0
5517 That's not what I meant when I asked for the prenuptial clause. 1.1071 0.04171 56 50 6 0
5518 Why do you insist on always wearing the “cat” shorts? 1.1071 0.04171 56 50 6 0
5519 I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to snap at you. 1.1071 0.04171 56 50 6 0
5520 I’m going to Red Lobster with or without you! 1.1071 0.04171 56 50 6 0
5521 I’m not buying it, George. HR doesn’t hand out those claws just for nail biting. 1.1071 0.04171 56 50 6 0
5522 I told them at work this week I take the gloves off 1.1071 0.04171 56 50 6 0
5523 I would have preferred the hooks instead. 1.1071 0.04171 56 50 6 0
5524 Grabby-crabby--it amounts to the same thing! 1.1071 0.04171 56 50 6 0
5525 ¨Yesterday the face, today the hands-what's next?¨ 1.1071 0.04171 56 50 6 0
5526 Let me guess...you're a Cancer rising? 1.1071 0.04171 56 50 6 0
5527 Don’t walk away from me. 1.1071 0.04887 56 51 4 1
5528 Make sure you wash your hands. 1.1071 0.04171 56 50 6 0
5529 Why do you have to be so crabby all the time? 1.1071 0.04887 56 51 4 1
5530 So you’re saying you want me to change who I am?” “No! I just said no pinching! 1.1071 0.04171 56 50 6 0
5531 I just don't want you turning into one of those crusty old men. 1.1071 0.04171 56 50 6 0
5532 Try to find a job with that or finish your metamorphosis before dinner. 1.1071 0.04171 56 50 6 0
5533 Next time pinch yourself, not me. 1.1071 0.04171 56 50 6 0
5534 I feel like I'm the only one doing any hands-on work in this relationship. 1.1071 0.04171 56 50 6 0
5535 I don't care how big that lobster was, I'm not calling you 'The Kraken." 1.1053 0.04101 57 51 6 0
5536 I know you make an effort, but your foreplay just doesn’t work for me. 1.1053 0.04101 57 51 6 0
5537 "We have relationship problems if I think of you as Santa Claws! 1.1053 0.04805 57 52 4 1
5538 Tinder said lobster boy, not lobster hands. 1.1053 0.04101 57 51 6 0
5539 I suppose this is your idea of grabbing something to eat. 1.1053 0.04101 57 51 6 0
5540 I hate when you call me crabby 1.1053 0.04101 57 51 6 0
5541 How are you balancing on your heels like that?! 1.1053 0.04101 57 51 6 0
5542 You're just trying to butter me up! 1.1053 0.04101 57 51 6 0
5543 Must you order the Surf and Turf every time?" 1.1053 0.04101 57 51 6 0
5544 Costume, schmostume -- what are you trying to go as -- a little bit pregnant? 1.1053 0.04101 57 51 6 0
5545 OK, so "red claws " is now racist. How is pincer grippers any better? 1.1053 0.04805 57 52 4 1
5546 I dk not always ask for extra drawn butter. 1.1053 0.04101 57 51 6 0
5547 I just don't find your claim that no one's ever called you 'handsy' all that reassuring. 1.1053 0.04101 57 51 6 0
5548 You've been really crabby today, Claude. 1.1053 0.04101 57 51 6 0
5549 You'll wear those until you learn not to pinch my cheek in public. 1.1053 0.04101 57 51 6 0
5550 ‘’I know I said I love lobster, but excuuusse me.” 1.1053 0.04101 57 51 6 0
5551 I refuse to go to the Hallowe'en party with you if you are going as Lobsterman. 1.1053 0.04805 57 52 4 1
5552 No, I not going to discuss impeachment with you! 1.1053 0.04101 57 51 6 0
5553 I don’t care what you’re attorney says. That’s not what I meant by a pre-nuptial clause! 1.1053 0.05418 57 53 2 2
5554 One more pinch! 1.1053 0.04101 57 51 6 0
5555 3D printed butter!?! Those hacks knew your rider clearly says ‘drawn’. 1.1053 0.04101 57 51 6 0
5556 You've grown too clingy. 1.1053 0.04101 57 51 6 0
5557 I hope you weren’t self conscious in our having dinner at the lobster shack. I do wish I had more butter though. 1.1053 0.04101 57 51 6 0
5558 Those statues are there to draw in customers not so you can make a "Winner!" of a Hallowe'en costume for your Fight Club. 1.1053 0.04805 57 52 4 1
5559 Stop following me and go to the dermatologist 1.1053 0.04101 57 51 6 0
5560 Just because I have a "thing" for "pinchers" doesn't mean you should wear those out of the house. 1.1053 0.04805 57 52 4 1
5561 There's no need to get snippy with me. 1.1053 0.04805 57 52 4 1
5562 You were the one who insisted I shake your Father's hand! 1.1053 0.04805 57 52 4 1
5563 I don’t understand the obsession with White Claw 1.1053 0.04805 57 52 4 1
5564 Yes dear there is a Santa Claws 1.1053 0.04805 57 52 4 1
5565 It's obvious your lobster crime scheme is not working. You're always caught red handed! 1.1053 0.04805 57 52 4 1
5566 I just wish we could find a way to communicate without the claws. 1.1053 0.04805 57 52 4 1
5567 no, I've told you before...lobster claws are not finger food 1.1053 0.04101 57 51 6 0
5568 I warned you!! Stop being crabby! 1.1053 0.04805 57 52 4 1
5569 keep your claws off me," I said, but you took me literally 1.1053 0.04805 57 52 4 1
5570 Ok, So technically, you cannot help yourself 1.1053 0.04101 57 51 6 0
5571 You piece of crab, stop pinching me!! 1.1053 0.04805 57 52 4 1
5572 The grocer said they were for making fish stew, not tormenting your wife. 1.1053 0.04101 57 51 6 0
5573 Why do I have the feeling that your harmless-New-Man expression and body language don't tell the whole story? 1.1053 0.04805 57 52 4 1
5574 You still have clammy hands. 1.1053 0.04805 57 52 4 1
5575 When in Rome...Ha! 1.1034 0.04725 58 53 4 1
5576 For the last time, I didn’t Catfish you. 1.1034 0.04725 58 53 4 1
5577 I told you the Pescetarian Diet was extreme. 1.1034 0.04034 58 52 6 0
5578 AND you kept forgetting the lyrics to 'Lemon Tree'! 1.1034 0.04725 58 53 4 1
5579 Don't even THINK of pinching me now that you've got those... 1.1034 0.04034 58 52 6 0
5580 After a frustrating day of apartment hunting, Doug too started getting crabby. 1.1034 0.04034 58 52 6 0
5581 No fingerprints yes Stolen items none honey. 1.1034 0.04034 58 52 6 0
5582 You know why I won’t hold hands with you! 1.1034 0.04034 58 52 6 0
5583 I'm shellfish! I knew YOU we re the one that gave me crabs...! 1.1034 0.04034 58 52 6 0
5584 I'm sure you're not the only person in the world who is terrified of hot baths and can't play the piano. Can we talk about something else, please? 1.1034 0.04034 58 52 6 0
5585 I was sure I used my last wish for love hands. 1.1034 0.04034 58 52 6 0
5586 Lobsters are supposed to remain faithful for life." 1.1034 0.04725 58 53 4 1
5587 Darn you - you broke the lobster cracker. 1.1034 0.04725 58 53 4 1
5588 How do I hate you? Let me count the ways! 1.1034 0.04034 58 52 6 0
5589 No, I'm not surprised that you clawed your way to the top. 1.1034 0.04034 58 52 6 0
5590 All I'm saying is you could have kept your claws to yourself at that crusty bus station. 1.1034 0.04034 58 52 6 0
5591 I want to slather you with butter. 1.1034 0.04034 58 52 6 0
5592 Sorry for being crabby, but don’t you dare pinch me again!! 1.1034 0.04034 58 52 6 0
5593 This is not what I thought you meant by going for surf and turf. 1.1034 0.04725 58 53 4 1
5594 You know why your still single 1.1034 0.04034 58 52 6 0
5595 I understand, you didn’t have anything appropriate in Panettone “Living Coral” either. 1.1034 0.04725 58 53 4 1
5596 Did you really think you could claw your way out of paying the bill? 1.1034 0.04725 58 53 4 1
5597 I only eat the tail meat....God, you never listen to me! 1.1034 0.04725 58 53 4 1
5598 You still know how to bring my claws out. 1.1034 0.04034 58 52 6 0
5599 Cha cha cha! 1.1034 0.05326 58 54 2 2
5600 I told you it was a bad idea to wear that lobster outfit to the Red Lobster. 1.1034 0.04725 58 53 4 1
5601 You just had to break out the crab claws, now we’ll never get invited back! 1.1034 0.04725 58 53 4 1
5602 I told you not to play with your food! 1.1034 0.04034 58 52 6 0
5603 Match, schmatch, no nipple twisting 1.1034 0.04034 58 52 6 0
5604 I can’t believe our sex therapist actually suggested nipple pinching 1.1034 0.04034 58 52 6 0
5605 Stand up straight with your shoulders back. 1.1034 0.04725 58 53 4 1
5606 You have some nerve calling me crabby! 1.1034 0.04034 58 52 6 0
5607 I told you we weren't soulmates 1.1034 0.04034 58 52 6 0
5608 I don't know what you're so smug about. So I was wrong about the hairy palms. 1.1034 0.04725 58 53 4 1
5609 I knew that brunette wasn’t just your TA... 1.1034 0.04725 58 53 4 1
5610 You have a "deep seated" problem!" 1.1034 0.04034 58 52 6 0
5611 Your ornery disposition is coming out 1.1034 0.04034 58 52 6 0
5612 I'm tired of you tryin' to claw your way to the top. 1.1034 0.04725 58 53 4 1
5613 Always standing up for your claws. I wish for once you'd stand up for me. 1.1034 0.04034 58 52 6 0
5614 I'm sorry, things are really heating up at work. 1.1034 0.04725 58 53 4 1
5615 No more pincer movements until we've seen the divorce lawyer, darling! And that's final, d' you hear me... 1.1034 0.04034 58 52 6 0
5616 don’t you get snappy with me, mister. 1.1034 0.04034 58 52 6 0
5617 I'm not holding your hand again, stop asking. 1.1034 0.04725 58 53 4 1
5618 Yes I'm mad. You said Zabar's had a special on lobster tails. 1.1034 0.04034 58 52 6 0
5619 I admire your ambition, but clawing your way to the top isn't the way to go." 1.1034 0.04034 58 52 6 0
5620 You realize that you're one step away from a sexual harassment suit, don't you? 1.1034 0.04034 58 52 6 0
5621 How many times do I have to tell you not to request drawn butter in a Sushi restaurant 1.1034 0.04034 58 52 6 0
5622 But I can pinch an inch. Not everything is about you, Karen. 1.1034 0.04034 58 52 6 0
5623 Very funny. You can't get out of this this time. I caught you red-handed. 1.1034 0.04725 58 53 4 1
5624 And now you know why one doesn't ask for take-home at an eat-all-you-can fish place. 1.1034 0.04034 58 52 6 0
5625 you can be very melodramatic sometimes - still a hard no to the foam finger 1.1034 0.04034 58 52 6 0
5626 I thought the seafood bisque was missing lobster." 1.1034 0.04034 58 52 6 0
5627 I used the butter to moisturize you hands. Not because I was hungry! 1.1034 0.04034 58 52 6 0
5628 Will you please stop saying "Just be-claws?" Phil Alderman 541 349 0964 4055 Royal Avenue, Space 68 Eugene Or. 97402 1.1034 0.04034 58 52 6 0
5629 Yeah, well I've got beans in my ears. 1.1034 0.04034 58 52 6 0
5630 ...Do I smell butter? 1.1034 0.04034 58 52 6 0
5631 You're always so crabby when we're out shopping. 1.1034 0.04034 58 52 6 0
5632 It's a Red Lobster, not a tailgate. 1.1034 0.04725 58 53 4 1
5633 Remember this next time you say I've "got my claws out." 1.1034 0.04725 58 53 4 1
5634 Couldn't you just go with me for a manicure? 1.1034 0.04034 58 52 6 0
5635 You see ,you are crabby! 1.1034 0.04034 58 52 6 0
5636 Ask your stupid deaf genie friend if I what I wanted was to give you a claw job! 1.1034 0.04034 58 52 6 0
5637 No! I told you. I don’t have the crackers, shears or fork. I’m not your mother! 1.1034 0.04034 58 52 6 0
5638 Selfish doesn’t even begin to cover it Bub 1.1034 0.04034 58 52 6 0
5639 Well, “Lobsterine” isn’t going bring those medical bills to justice, Stewart! 1.1034 0.04034 58 52 6 0
5640 Frankly,I'm a little uneasy about holding your hand. 1.1034 0.04034 58 52 6 0
5641 keep your clammy hands off me 1.1034 0.04034 58 52 6 0
5642 I said I was only going to window shop no need for the penny pinchers! 1.1034 0.04725 58 53 4 1
5643 It’s not some misogynistic behavior I can curb, honey. You know I’m a feminist! I just can’t help pinching your tight little butt sometimes. 1.1034 0.04725 58 53 4 1
5644 Listen, buddy, if I wanted lobster-lice, I'd be following you. 1.1034 0.04034 58 52 6 0
5645 Well, you should have told me before you told your mother. 1.1034 0.04034 58 52 6 0
5646 When the marriage counselor suggested you try to keep your hands to yourself - she didn't mean so everyone would see what you are doing. 1.1034 0.05326 58 54 2 2
5647 You really can’t afford for me to go to bed angry tonight. 1.1034 0.04034 58 52 6 0
5648 It’s in my DNA”...just doesn’t work for me. 1.1034 0.04034 58 52 6 0
5649 You street people will wear anything to get a handout. 1.1034 0.04034 58 52 6 0
5650 And people say I'm the crabby one. 1.1034 0.04034 58 52 6 0
5651 Well I'm a non-binary pescatarian 1.1034 0.04034 58 52 6 0
5652 Why bother date a guy who wears elastics on his claws if you won’t even braid my hair? 1.1034 0.04725 58 53 4 1
5653 I'm not seeing you again without the rubber bands. 1.1034 0.04034 58 52 6 0
5654 I get you can't help you have pincers; I'm saying you can help what you pinch. 1.1017 0.03969 59 53 6 0
5655 Santa Claus! I wanted to be your 1.1017 0.04647 59 54 4 1
5656 I caught you with the sitter. That's not material for your act. 1.1017 0.04647 59 54 4 1
5657 You’re such a crab, Harold! 1.1017 0.04647 59 54 4 1
5658 And you can just imagine what I'll do to your Mr. Johnson the next time you touch me without asking first. 1.1017 0.04647 59 54 4 1
5659 When I said, “I would like some lobster claws,” that’s not what I meant! 1.1017 0.03969 59 53 6 0
5660 But you knew me before you said yes!!! 1.1017 0.03969 59 53 6 0
5661 Take my hand?" Not as long as you're wearing those goofy gloves! (Michael Rogness, St. Paul, Minnesot 1.1017 0.03969 59 53 6 0
5662 I thought you said “for,” not “with.” 1.1017 0.03969 59 53 6 0
5663 I just don’t understand why we can’t go for seafood like a normal couple. 1.1017 0.03969 59 53 6 0
5664 Of course we knew this would happen when they realized you were bottom-fishing. 1.1017 0.05238 59 55 2 2
5665 Rare sighting of a U of T professor in the wild. [wife's boyfriend not pictured] 1.1017 0.03969 59 53 6 0
5666 I told you not to pinch the waitress ! 1.1017 0.03969 59 53 6 0
5667 I told you to confirm your order before you placed it, so you got orange, serves you right. 1.1017 0.03969 59 53 6 0
5668 When your profile said you ‘clawed your way to the top’ I didn’t realize you meant it literally. 1.1017 0.03969 59 53 6 0
5669 Oh sure. Anyone will believe it: You are both the brother of Santa, and the Supreme Guardian of the Universe: LOBSTER CLAUS. 1.1017 0.04647 59 54 4 1
5670 I don't think that you will be able to get my bra off 1.1017 0.04647 59 54 4 1
5671 This is what you get for trying to steal dinner! I want a divorce! 1.1017 0.04647 59 54 4 1
5672 I don't understand why you have to be so crabby all the time! All I said is that I wanted to eat at Red Lobster tonight. 1.1017 0.03969 59 53 6 0
5673 Why couldn’t you have gotten the other kind of crabs? 1.1017 0.03969 59 53 6 0
5674 I really did not appreciate your friend's comment that we should go to the Halloween party as Steak and Lobster. 1.1000 0.03906 60 54 6 0
5675 I thought you said you were going to wear a pink carnation. 1.1000 0.04572 60 55 4 1
5676 No, Harold, I'm not getting a matching tail. 1.1000 0.03906 60 54 6 0
5677 We'll see. 1.0943 0.04053 53 48 5 0
5678 Geez, you're in a mood! 1.0943 0.04053 53 48 5 0
5679 The last guy I dated was all paws. 1.0943 0.04867 53 49 3 1
5680 I'll never hold hands with you again. 1.0943 0.05563 53 50 1 2
5681 Honestly I don’t think you would be successful holding off muggers with those claws; but it’s a great outfit for the crab feast next week. 1.0943 0.04867 53 49 3 1
5682 Your company's claw-back policy is very worrisome. 1.0943 0.04053 53 48 5 0
5683 If only I could find a pot big enough. 1.0943 0.04053 53 48 5 0
5684 My mother was right. I should have married a squid. 1.0943 0.04053 53 48 5 0
5685 Yes, I’ll get the Uber, again. 1.0943 0.04053 53 48 5 0
5686 You have some nerve to say that I'm crabby. 1.0943 0.04867 53 49 3 1
5687 I told you to let me do the pinch of salt in the cake batter! 1.0943 0.04053 53 48 5 0
5688 You can be so snippy sometimes! 1.0943 0.04867 53 49 3 1
5689 I could boil you alive. 1.0943 0.04867 53 49 3 1
5690 Well isn't she being a tad crabby. 1.0943 0.04053 53 48 5 0
5691 lobster hands today I see! 1.0943 0.04053 53 48 5 0
5692 I swear I didn’t grow these just so I didn’t have to hold your hand. 1.0943 0.05563 53 50 1 2
5693 I’m really steamed, and so should you be. 1.0943 0.04053 53 48 5 0
5694 I didn't want to believe chivalry was dead, but you don't even open doors for me! 1.0943 0.04867 53 49 3 1
5695 When he's crabby 1.0943 0.04867 53 49 3 1
5696 Mother always said you were spineless. Stop cracking your knuckles. No, I wasn't buttering you up. Don't you snap at me. From now on, let's skip the foreplay, okay? At least they draw attention away from that stupid hipster beard. 1.0943 0.04867 53 49 3 1
5697 I told you not to pray that one hand match the other 1.0943 0.04053 53 48 5 0
5698 I wish you wouldn't wear those since we're going to the lobster fest... 1.0943 0.05563 53 50 1 2
5699 Why do you have to be such a crab! 1.0943 0.04053 53 48 5 0
5700 I told you not to leave the rubber bands at home. 1.0943 0.04053 53 48 5 0
5701 I said WHITE Claws are all the rage. WHITE. 1.0943 0.04053 53 48 5 0
5702 Claws Up" has really gotten out of han 1.0943 0.04053 53 48 5 0
5703 You’re so shell fish sometimes! 1.0943 0.04867 53 49 3 1
5704 I'm crabby? 1.0926 0.03982 54 49 5 0
5705 I'm not sure which side of your family is worse: those bottom feeders or the lobsters. 1.0926 0.03982 54 49 5 0
5706 Now I'm not so sure gun control was a good idea! 1.0926 0.03982 54 49 5 0
5707 I feel you snapped at me. 1.0926 0.03982 54 49 5 0
5708 Drown butter keeps me satisfied 1.0926 0.04779 54 50 3 1
5709 If this continues I will put him in a pot of boiling water 1.0926 0.03982 54 49 5 0
5710 I know you clawed your way to the top of the company but why does my mother need to know? 1.0926 0.03982 54 49 5 0
5711 When I told you to "get a grip", that is not what I had in mind. 1.0926 0.03982 54 49 5 0
5712 You never want to hold my hand. 1.0926 0.03982 54 49 5 0
5713 Is that the only reason why you ordered lobster? 1.0926 0.03982 54 49 5 0
5714 Respect the drip, Karen. 1.0926 0.03982 54 49 5 0
5715 I'm sorry, but I like my costume. I don't want to dress as a couple. Doesn't mean you need to get all sad 1.0926 0.04779 54 50 3 1
5716 Claus", you clod 1.0926 0.04779 54 50 3 1
5717 I think the Shark Tank will eat your claws alive. 1.0926 0.03982 54 49 5 0
5718 I know...I know: when God passed out hands, I thought he sad cans. 1.0926 0.03982 54 49 5 0
5719 Remember when you said you'd give your right arm to go out with me? 1.0926 0.03982 54 49 5 0
5720 Talk about conspicuous consumption! Everyone knows you are rich enough to afford a ten pound lobster, Jeffrey. 1.0926 0.03982 54 49 5 0
5721 Look, I told you she wouldn't like that 'choke me daddy' thing. 1.0926 0.04779 54 50 3 1
5722 the mans thinking "I don't know if I should mention she gave me crabs, she looks a little upset rn" 1.0926 0.03982 54 49 5 0
5723 I'm not a cannibal. I just wanted a lobster roll. 1.0926 0.03982 54 49 5 0
5724 I told you, no more Jordan Peterson podcasts! 1.0926 0.04779 54 50 3 1
5725 Hey - you’re acting a little nippy 1.0926 0.04779 54 50 3 1
5726 Getting a little tired of seafood ... 1.0926 0.03982 54 49 5 0
5727 I think a vegetarian restaurant would be the safest. 1.0926 0.03982 54 49 5 0
5728 You’re all thumbs “was not meant to be critica 1.0926 0.04779 54 50 3 1
5729 Don't you know I'm not colorblind? 1.0926 0.03982 54 49 5 0
5730 You need to get a grip on your circumstances. 1.0926 0.04779 54 50 3 1
5731 I can't take you anywhere; ​must you always me so crabby? 1.0926 0.03982 54 49 5 0
5732 I am NOT crabby. You're the one who's crabby. 1.0926 0.04779 54 50 3 1
5733 You’re grabbing unwanted attention. 1.0926 0.03982 54 49 5 0
5734 You even have a crabby attitude! 1.0926 0.04779 54 50 3 1
5735 Why the hell must you pretend to be a lobster? 1.0926 0.03982 54 49 5 0
5736 You seem pretty crabby today 1.0909 0.04695 55 51 3 1
5737 Tell them your real name. People are too young to remember the Get Smart joke. 1.0909 0.03912 55 50 5 0
5738 Well, you didn’t have to be so damned snippety to the Williams, now did you. 1.0909 0.03912 55 50 5 0
5739 Don’t be so stuck-up. I was only trying to give you a pinch. 1.0909 0.03912 55 50 5 0
5740 No, I do not feel like surf & turf tonight. 1.0909 0.03912 55 50 5 0
5741 Clawing your way up the ladder is just an expression - no one takes it literally! 1.0909 0.04695 55 51 3 1
5742 I can’t believe ordering the mussels was such a big deal 1.0909 0.03912 55 50 5 0
5743 You had to be a surgeon? I told you psychiatry was where you should go. 1.0909 0.03912 55 50 5 0
5744 Prepared to meet up with a giant squid on 23rd and Northern Ave. is really crazy thinking Nelson. 1.0909 0.04695 55 51 3 1
5745 Honey, let's have lobster tonight for dinner at our favorite restaurant. Judith Morse San Francisco, California 1.0909 0.04695 55 51 3 1
5746 Since I went dairy-free, your clarified butter obsession has veered out of control. 1.0909 0.03912 55 50 5 0
5747 You collect shoes, I collect claws. That’s always been our deal. 1.0909 0.03912 55 50 5 0
5748 You never want to go to the Red Lobster! 1.0909 0.04695 55 51 3 1
5749 I thought it was obvious, picking my nose comes with the package. 1.0909 0.03912 55 50 5 0
5750 Of course they're warm. They're filled with melted butter! 1.0909 0.03912 55 50 5 0
5751 This is the last time you talk to me of your father after dessert ! 1.0909 0.03912 55 50 5 0
5752 That's the last time I'm going to a Jenga party with you. 1.0909 0.03912 55 50 5 0
5753 Every time we have an argument, you try to claw your way out of it. 1.0893 0.03845 56 51 5 0
5754 Don't think this prevents you from being too "handsy". 1.0862 0.04458 58 54 3 1
5755 Keep moving! My hands are small and ugly and allergic and..!! May be just hide them! 1.0800 0.03876 50 46 4 0
5756 If you quit wearing those, I'll stop calling you crabby! 1.0800 0.03876 50 46 4 0
5757 That's not what I meant by 'Let's get some White Claws'. 1.0800 0.03876 50 46 4 0
5758 So you were abducted by lobster like Aliens and you both decided to exchange hands? Seriously? 1.0800 0.04815 50 47 2 1
5759 I don't get why you have to be so selfish, Dave. 1.0800 0.03876 50 46 4 0
5760 Why do I always get crabby when we go out together? 1.0800 0.03876 50 46 4 0
5761 It's just taxation carren, it’s just taxation. 1.0800 0.03876 50 46 4 0
5762 That lobster joint on Amsterdam is no knock-out. 1.0800 0.03876 50 46 4 0
5763 I clearly asked you to bring *white claws* 1.0800 0.04815 50 47 2 1
5764 Prepared for shopping! 1.0800 0.03876 50 46 4 0
5765 I feel like your hobbies are taking up more and more of our free time. 1.0800 0.04815 50 47 2 1
5766 It’s okay. The doctor said it’s lobster, not crabs. 1.0800 0.03876 50 46 4 0
5767 I can't butter you up every time you get steamed, Larry! 1.0800 0.03876 50 46 4 0
5768 Next time, just ask Crabby Jack's for a doggie bag........ 1.0784 0.03802 51 47 4 0
5769 What exactly are you trying to say? Lobster claw gloves? 1.0784 0.04722 51 48 2 1
5770 And here I thought you were just crabby! 1.0784 0.03802 51 47 4 0
5771 I'm just not a fan of PDA. 1.0784 0.03802 51 47 4 0
5772 Genetic testing, genetic testing, who'd have thought? 1.0784 0.03802 51 47 4 0
5773 Admit it, you were caught red-handed reaching into the lobster tank. 1.0769 0.03731 52 48 4 0
5774 It's your fault that the therapist had to prescribe those anti-gropers. 1.0769 0.03731 52 48 4 0
5775 They brought melted butter and a mallet with the bread. We won’t be eating there again! 1.0769 0.03731 52 48 4 0
5776 George, you have to stop pinching strange women! 1.0769 0.03731 52 48 4 0
5777 Yes, I wanted you to meet my mother, but you just not have hugged her! 1.0741 0.03597 54 50 4 0
5778 Pinch me again and before you can say Edward Crustaceanhands you’re gonna find yourself in the world's biggest lobster pot! 1.0638 0.03604 47 44 3 0
5779 Sorry, I am just not taking the chance of getting crabs! 1.0638 0.03604 47 44 3 0
5780 Ignoring the foam hands for a second, and that you wore them to a Broadway show, "Fiddler Crabs on the Roof" isn't even a thing, for so many reasons. 1.0638 0.03604 47 44 3 0
5781 Carl, you and I both know it was a pinch. 1.0638 0.03604 47 44 3 0
5782 You are walking the wrong way for all your crawfishing! 1.0638 0.03604 47 44 3 0
5783 Being shellfish grants morality claws for divorce. 1.0638 0.03604 47 44 3 0
5784 There are any number of ways you could have proved they could without pissing me off. 1.0638 0.03604 47 44 3 0
5785 My last boyfriend was emotionally clawing. 1.0638 0.03604 47 44 3 0
5786 No, it was not the best part. It was just the gift shop. 1.0638 0.03604 47 44 3 0
5787 If you wouldn't be so grabby, maybe I'd take my clothes off. 1.0638 0.03604 47 44 3 0
5788 You did pinch me. You Mainers are all alike. 1.0638 0.04716 47 45 1 1
5789 i'm never going to another wrestling match again, i don't care if the Claw is appearing or not! 1.0638 0.03604 47 44 3 0
5790 I know you want too... but you can’t use our friends hot tub. 1.0638 0.03604 47 44 3 0
5791 I am aware it said, "All you can eat." 1.0638 0.03604 47 44 3 0
5792 At least the next time he tries to cop a feel I will have proof 1.0638 0.03604 47 44 3 0
5793 Those aren’t even stylish on The Cape after Labor Day 1.0638 0.03604 47 44 3 0
5794 Sabrina, I didn't mean it literally when I said I'll have the lobster claws. 1.0638 0.03604 47 44 3 0
5795 I asked you to keep your claws to yourself! 1.0638 0.03604 47 44 3 0
5796 I don't care..Humans have one night stands 1.0638 0.04716 47 45 1 1
5797 You’ve got a lot of nerve calling Me crabby! 1.0638 0.03604 47 44 3 0
5798 Must you always go around clawing the women? 1.0638 0.03604 47 44 3 0
5799 What were you thinking? You know I don’t like shellfish. 1.0638 0.04716 47 45 1 1
5800 Look on the bright side... I'm a shoo-in for the lobster shift! 1.0638 0.03604 47 44 3 0
5801 Yes it was rude, but you knew it was a hot-tub party! 1.0638 0.03604 47 44 3 0
5802 This was going to be date night. Now I see that after we eat, you will be playing crabman at the weekly D&D gettogether. 1.0638 0.04716 47 45 1 1
5803 We said we were going window shopping... 1.0638 0.03604 47 44 3 0
5804 I just wish you could be a little less snappy!” 1.0638 0.03604 47 44 3 0
5805 I’m never going to Red Lobster again - and neither are you... 1.0638 0.04716 47 45 1 1
5806 and you can keep your claws to yourself 1.0638 0.04716 47 45 1 1
5807 And with most men, the problem is that they’re ‘all hands’... 1.0638 0.03604 47 44 3 0
5808 Don’t be such a crab about it 1.0638 0.04716 47 45 1 1
5809 You could've at least painted my dress too 1.0638 0.03604 47 44 3 0
5810 I kept telling you, mind the seafood, and now our trip to the coast has to be cancelled. 1.0638 0.04716 47 45 1 1
5811 You didn't even grab her this time. 1.0638 0.03604 47 44 3 0
5812 I guess they’re better than my old boyfriend’s “meat hooks” 1.0638 0.03604 47 44 3 0
5813 It’s unfair. I didn’t say filthy witch. 1.0638 0.03604 47 44 3 0
5814 You seem crabby today. 1.0638 0.03604 47 44 3 0
5815 With your condition you know you should avoid boiling water. 1.0638 0.04716 47 45 1 1
5816 You better hope I don't get crabs. 1.0638 0.03604 47 44 3 0
5817 This is not funny Omar. 1.0638 0.03604 47 44 3 0
5818 I hope they don’t think I’m a kleptomaniac 1.0638 0.03604 47 44 3 0
5819 This is not what I meant when I said I would like you to be a bit more clingy from time to time. 1.0638 0.04716 47 45 1 1
5820 Oh great, here comes the pre-nup claws! 1.0638 0.03604 47 44 3 0
5821 I wish you wouldn’t be so touchy Feely 1.0638 0.03604 47 44 3 0
5822 Sorry! I just wished you were more like Claude. 1.0638 0.03604 47 44 3 0
5823 At least you don’t have to worry about weekly manicures. 1.0638 0.03604 47 44 3 0
5824 You don’t have to be this attention seeking, you know? 1.0638 0.03604 47 44 3 0
5825 I don't care if you're 'wired this way,' quit pinching the staff!! 1.0638 0.03604 47 44 3 0
5826 You push that "You are what you eat" motto a bit too far. 1.0638 0.03604 47 44 3 0
5827 When I said, "Take your paws off me," you knew exactly what I meant. 1.0638 0.03604 47 44 3 0
5828 I still can't believe they went with Colin Farrell over you!" 1.0638 0.03604 47 44 3 0
5829 Next time please don't take my gloves, understand ! 1.0638 0.03604 47 44 3 0
5830 I thought the job description said Rock Lobster 1.0638 0.03604 47 44 3 0
5831 You’ll be hearing from my gynecologist. 1.0638 0.03604 47 44 3 0
5832 With all the lobster you eat you’ll turn into Grady Stiles. 1.0638 0.03604 47 44 3 0
5833 I told you not to shake my father’s hand. 1.0638 0.03604 47 44 3 0
5834 Since when are you the one that clams up? 1.0638 0.03604 47 44 3 0
5835 I get it. You're feeling crabby today 1.0638 0.03604 47 44 3 0
5836 Crabs! Really? 1.0638 0.03604 47 44 3 0
5837 We are not visiting the president, only my mother 1.0638 0.04716 47 45 1 1
5838 Come on darling. Unfold your beautiful Scorpio hands too 1.0638 0.03604 47 44 3 0
5839 I told you that Red Lobster had a ton of health code violations. 1.0638 0.03604 47 44 3 0
5840 You never told me you were a clawset pescatarian!!! 1.0638 0.03604 47 44 3 0
5841 I told you not to wear shorts tonight! 1.0638 0.03604 47 44 3 0
5842 I really don't think Jordan Peterson has been a good influence on you. 1.0638 0.03604 47 44 3 0
5843 This doesn’t get you out of that list of chores you said you’d finish Saturday. 1.0638 0.04716 47 45 1 1
5844 Yeah, you're right, you win, you wore your costume until the next Halloween. 1.0638 0.03604 47 44 3 0
5845 Honey, I told you that special lobster diet wouldn't work, and by the way, keep your claws off me 1.0638 0.03604 47 44 3 0
5846 Yes, I've heard of chimeras but I never thought ... 1.0638 0.03604 47 44 3 0
5847 I told you the water was boiling hot 1.0638 0.03604 47 44 3 0
5848 I’m tired of you always being so crabby! 1.0638 0.03604 47 44 3 0
5849 You're stuck in your claw again. 1.0638 0.03604 47 44 3 0
5850 You know what your problem is? You're just so crabby. 1.0638 0.03604 47 44 3 0
5851 I can’t tell who’s the crabbier one in this relationship. 1.0638 0.03604 47 44 3 0
5852 If I hear you quote Prufrock one more time, I’ll put them to good use! 1.0638 0.03604 47 44 3 0
5853 Again, it’s ‘Sheila,’ not ‘chela.’ 1.0638 0.03604 47 44 3 0
5854 You call those lobster hands? Why I’m my day, those are not enough 1.0638 0.03604 47 44 3 0
5855 How was I supposed to know you don't like seafood? 1.0638 0.03604 47 44 3 0
5856 And don't think you can your claws into me when were home 1.0638 0.03604 47 44 3 0
5857 Tell me! Is it me? Wy don't you touch me anymore? 1.0638 0.03604 47 44 3 0
5858 I don't know Mark, sometimes I feel like you're getting your claws into me. 1.0638 0.03604 47 44 3 0
5859 Why do you have to be so crabby today? 1.0638 0.03604 47 44 3 0
5860 When I said you never lay a hand on me, you didn't have to go to this to prove me right. 1.0638 0.03604 47 44 3 0
5861 I'm not that surprised, Jason. You have seen " LobsterMan vs. The Avengers " something like 13 times already this month. 1.0638 0.03604 47 44 3 0
5862 You pawed her, and she clawed you?! 1.0638 0.03604 47 44 3 0
5863 I am sick of you tying to claw your way to the top. No one want someone who wears shorts. 1.0638 0.03604 47 44 3 0
5864 You didn't tell me you had a side hustle as a lobster! 1.0638 0.03604 47 44 3 0
5865 I told you not to stick your claws in the boiling water! 1.0638 0.03604 47 44 3 0
5866 Last time I'm taking you to a Lanthimos-directed movie 1.0638 0.03604 47 44 3 0
5867 I told you my Dad was difficult to hang out 1.0638 0.03604 47 44 3 0
5868 I wish you wouldn't be so crabby all the time. 1.0638 0.03604 47 44 3 0
5869 . . . if only you weren't quite so grasping . . . 1.0638 0.04716 47 45 1 1
5870 Well....I guess he'll do in a pinch. 1.0638 0.03604 47 44 3 0
5871 An anniversary gift! Really? 1.0638 0.04716 47 45 1 1
5872 Drawn butter?? You cannot be serious! 1.0638 0.03604 47 44 3 0
5873 You’ll be safe at the seafood restaurant tonight, honey. They say that the large ones are too tough! 1.0638 0.04716 47 45 1 1
5874 A crabby spouse is like a barking lobster : irritable and quiet. 1.0638 0.04716 47 45 1 1
5875 Taking the B-52’s groupie to a new level. Don’t you think!? 1.0638 0.03604 47 44 3 0
5876 At least you got it on your hands 1.0638 0.03604 47 44 3 0
5877 I hope the 'non-compete claws' pun was worth half our income. 1.0638 0.03604 47 44 3 0
5878 I’m just so tired of you snapping at me, Darren... 1.0638 0.03604 47 44 3 0
5879 Have you forgotten the clause in our agreement regarding hands-off any crustaceous activity? 1.0638 0.03604 47 44 3 0
5880 Well I don't consider them creature comforts. 1.0638 0.03604 47 44 3 0
5881 So before we pick a place, do you never eat seafood, or do you always eat seafood? The claws could go either way. 1.0638 0.03604 47 44 3 0
5882 I did mention before your interview that to be a boxing ref, you must be capable of counting to 10 ! 1.0638 0.03604 47 44 3 0
5883 Without accurate Tinder pics, how was I supposed to know 'claw back specialist' didn't mean 'refund specialist.' 1.0638 0.03604 47 44 3 0
5884 Oh no! You wouldn't listen when they said you were allergic to lobster! 1.0638 0.03604 47 44 3 0
5885 Some say I am the missing link from the Early Crustacean Period. 1.0638 0.03604 47 44 3 0
5886 Quit telling people your name is Claude Baughs. 1.0638 0.03604 47 44 3 0
5887 You're dead meat if I catch you pinching women again. 1.0638 0.03604 47 44 3 0
5888 You’re shho shhelfish. 1.0638 0.03604 47 44 3 0
5889 Your profile did say you werendc-4c20-a812-f7bbe1d52ea5%22%2C%22session_count%22:1%2C%22last_session_ts%22:1571023542684} 1.0638 0.03604 47 44 3 0
5890 I still don't understand why you can't hold my hand in public. 1.0625 0.03531 48 45 3 0
5891 That's not what it means with the recipe calls for 'just a pinch'! 1.0625 0.04619 48 46 1 1
5892 I don’t like the way you grab me these days. 1.0625 0.04619 48 46 1 1
5893 As a matter of fact I'm not happy! Your dating profile never mentioned you had lobster hands! 1.0625 0.03531 48 45 3 0
5894 I thought they were everyone's favorite. 1.0625 0.04619 48 46 1 1
5895 Kevin, I asked you to get me WHITE claws...! 1.0625 0.03531 48 45 3 0
5896 It's not cool to pinch women these days, Brad. 1.0625 0.03531 48 45 3 0
5897 Please do not pinch me again like that in public. 1.0625 0.03531 48 45 3 0
5898 You really aren't looking at the upside. 1.0625 0.03531 48 45 3 0
5899 Immersion therapy for my clau-strophobia? Now, I'm just crabby. 1.0612 0.04525 49 47 1 1
5900 When your girlfriend has that time of month and she does not want you to touch her. 1.0600 0.03393 50 47 3 0
5901 The claw back of your bonus isn't funny. 1.0588 0.03328 51 48 3 0
5902 You're taking Jordan Peterson way too literally. 1.0545 0.03090 55 52 3 0
5903 If you don't like to hold hands in public, you could have used your words. 1.0465 0.03249 43 41 2 0
5904 I like everything about except the foreplay. 1.0465 0.03249 43 41 2 0
5905 The doctor said, if there is any side effects, we should not make love. 1.0465 0.03249 43 41 2 0
5906 I didn't marry such a crab. 1.0465 0.03249 43 41 2 0
5907 #Metoo will take care of this." 1.0465 0.03249 43 41 2 0
5908 I don't care how much you enjoyed "Lobsters on Broadway," it's still a stupid souvenir. 1.0465 0.03249 43 41 2 0
5909 It’s your Birthday, how about a pinch to grow an Inch. 1.0465 0.03249 43 41 2 0
5910 Just keep your claws off me. 1.0465 0.03249 43 41 2 0
5911 A playful pinch is certainly not a handshake! 1.0465 0.03249 43 41 2 0
5912 I'm telling you—the B52s are back. 1.0465 0.03249 43 41 2 0
5913 Remember, when you meet my dad, give him a firm handshake. 1.0465 0.03249 43 41 2 0
5914 That wasn't a love story, it was a 'Deadliest Catch' marathon. 1.0465 0.03249 43 41 2 0
5915 I said truncate not trump-gate! 1.0465 0.03249 43 41 2 0
5916 I'm not the only one who's crabby. 1.0465 0.03249 43 41 2 0
5917 You're a bit more crabby today than usual. 1.0465 0.03249 43 41 2 0
5918 I’m NOT your lobster. 1.0465 0.03249 43 41 2 0
5919 You Shellfish-Men are all the same! Only thinking about yourself. 1.0465 0.04651 43 42 0 1
5920 She's not his lobster,apparently... 1.0465 0.03249 43 41 2 0
5921 Clammy I could take! 1.0465 0.04651 43 42 0 1
5922 I think you’ve taken this water proof glove thing too far 1.0465 0.03249 43 41 2 0
5923 So we're not number one ! 1.0465 0.03249 43 41 2 0
5924 When I said I wanted a clause in our pre-nup, that's NOT what I was talking about... 1.0465 0.03249 43 41 2 0
5925 You should have realized that before you shook hands. 1.0465 0.03249 43 41 2 0
5926 The invitation was to an introduction to kick-boxing.... 1.0465 0.03249 43 41 2 0
5927 Yes, but that didn’t have to stare. 1.0465 0.03249 43 41 2 0
5928 I can't stand it when you're so shellfish! 1.0465 0.03249 43 41 2 0
5929 Listen Santa. No gloves, it's a permanent 'no'. 1.0465 0.03249 43 41 2 0
5930 You didn't have to snap at me like that when I ordered the scallops! 1.0465 0.03249 43 41 2 0
5931 I still don't believe that's why your hands smelled like that last night. 1.0465 0.03249 43 41 2 0
5932 So what. You’re a crab. 1.0465 0.04651 43 42 0 1
5933 If you think you can claw your way to my affection, you have another think coming. 1.0465 0.03249 43 41 2 0
5934 Rocky Rock Lobster seems to ring a bell.... 1.0465 0.03249 43 41 2 0
5935 No chance at first base buster. 1.0465 0.03249 43 41 2 0
5936 I told you I am clawstrophobic! 1.0465 0.03249 43 41 2 0
5937 Keep your claws to yourself...'Snappy!' 1.0465 0.03249 43 41 2 0
5938 Well, this just proves how shellfish you are. 1.0465 0.03249 43 41 2 0
5939 You’re just not someone I can turn to when I am in a pinch. 1.0465 0.03249 43 41 2 0
5940 A simple walk in the neighborhood makes you crabby now? 1.0465 0.03249 43 41 2 0
5941 Is it really too much to ask not to go out for sushi for every date night. 1.0465 0.03249 43 41 2 0
5942 You keep your claws to yourself! 1.0465 0.03249 43 41 2 0
5943 I’m tired of considering the lobster. 1.0465 0.03249 43 41 2 0
5944 I mean, you've just been so crabby lately. 1.0465 0.03249 43 41 2 0
5945 I'm not crabby but you could have just said you don't like to hold hands! 1.0465 0.03249 43 41 2 0
5946 I’m clawing back on my handiness to avoid any sexual conflicts. 1.0465 0.03249 43 41 2 0
5947 Don't bother clawing me 1.0465 0.03249 43 41 2 0
5948 Why are you so crabby? 1.0465 0.03249 43 41 2 0
5949 You know it's safer for both of us when you wear a rubber band. 1.0465 0.04651 43 42 0 1
5950 You're just not handsy enough for me. 1.0465 0.03249 43 41 2 0
5951 Well maybe I’ve grown up and now I deserve to be with an Amazing Lobster MAN. 1.0465 0.03249 43 41 2 0
5952 I don't care if you want to be closer to family, Claude! I'm not moving to Bar Harbor. 1.0465 0.03249 43 41 2 0
5953 At least your hands aren't clammy. 1.0465 0.03249 43 41 2 0
5954 So you just had to try teleporting yourself with a crab? 1.0465 0.03249 43 41 2 0
5955 That Jordan Peterson guy is a dud. Lobsters claws, duh. How are you going to clean up your room now? 1.0465 0.03249 43 41 2 0
5956 You command armies of crustaceans to do...whatever armies of crustaceans do? 1.0465 0.03249 43 41 2 0
5957 Just please keep your claws off me! 1.0465 0.03249 43 41 2 0
5958 I just wish you were less crabby! 1.0465 0.04651 43 42 0 1
5959 I told you that bit wasn't funny. 1.0465 0.03249 43 41 2 0
5960 I am not happy when you are so crabby while taking a walk with me. 1.0465 0.03249 43 41 2 0
5961 You couldn't have just said "no thanks, I'll have the lobster roll." 1.0465 0.03249 43 41 2 0
5962 I think you should have gotten the matching shoes, too. 1.0465 0.03249 43 41 2 0
5963 I said I liked ‘White Claws’ not crab claws. 1.0465 0.03249 43 41 2 0
5964 You were not the one I had thought I had picked to have for dinner. 1.0465 0.03249 43 41 2 0
5965 You can't always be so crabby when talking politics with my parents, Harold. 1.0465 0.03249 43 41 2 0
5966 I hate it when you get clawsy with me! 1.0465 0.03249 43 41 2 0
5967 Just because I get a little crabby sometimes doesn't mean you have to follow suit. 1.0465 0.03249 43 41 2 0
5968 I am really tired of you putting your claws on me... 1.0465 0.03249 43 41 2 0
5969 Stop trying to claw your way into this relationship. It's over. 1.0465 0.03249 43 41 2 0
5970 I took my girlfriend out for seafood one day. It didn't end so well. 1.0465 0.03249 43 41 2 0
5971 Don't be too worried about my security, I keep a gun. 1.0465 0.03249 43 41 2 0
5972 I cannot believe you watched the season finale of Lost without me... 1.0465 0.03249 43 41 2 0
5973 Well. their better than scissors.... 1.0465 0.03249 43 41 2 0
5974 You just are not as touching as you used to be 1.0465 0.03249 43 41 2 0
5975 You should have said “may I take these to go” rather than “may I take these. 1.0465 0.03249 43 41 2 0
5976 So you won’t even look at the great apartment with the hot tub? 1.0465 0.03249 43 41 2 0
5977 Fine! But next year, I get to be Olive Garden. 1.0465 0.03249 43 41 2 0
5978 Everyone said you wanted to get your claws into me. 1.0465 0.03249 43 41 2 0
5979 You were getting a little clawsy there with the waitress. 1.0465 0.03249 43 41 2 0
5980 Babe, I’m sorry, but you have to understand, I’m a scavenger. If the waiter would have just let me go through the trash, everything would have been ‘A. O.K.’ 1.0465 0.03249 43 41 2 0
5981 If anyone asks, just tell them that they are lobster claws. 1.0465 0.03249 43 41 2 0
5982 Babe, I know you're in the mood for seafood, but I just can't handle it. 1.0465 0.03249 43 41 2 0
5983 I told you, no one likes imitation crab. 1.0465 0.03249 43 41 2 0
5984 That's not what I had in mind when I said I needed to be held tighter. 1.0465 0.03249 43 41 2 0
5985 Sweet Jesus, I really hate men. 1.0465 0.03249 43 41 2 0
5986 You certainly are crabby this morning 1.0465 0.03249 43 41 2 0
5987 And how would I introduce you to my parents? 1.0465 0.04651 43 42 0 1
5988 I'm telling you, you're over-thinking your all-you-can-eat seafood buffet strategy. 1.0465 0.03249 43 41 2 0
5989 I was simply hoping you like lobster claws. 1.0465 0.03249 43 41 2 0
5990 Besides, that hand sweat lotion of yours is a complete joke. 1.0465 0.03249 43 41 2 0
5991 They’re not the only things that get bigger when you molt... 1.0465 0.04651 43 42 0 1
5992 I told you before - don't try to shake hands with the Maitre-d. 1.0465 0.03249 43 41 2 0
5993 I get it- you're sick of lobster roll". 1.0465 0.03249 43 41 2 0
5994 You don't have to walk me all the way, Dad. You're really clamping my style. 1.0465 0.03249 43 41 2 0
5995 So, you're feeling trapped? 1.0465 0.03249 43 41 2 0
5996 Have you ever wondered why everything’s in grayscale except for your lobster-claw hands? 1.0465 0.04651 43 42 0 1
5997 This is not what I meant when I said stop being so handsy in public! 1.0465 0.03249 43 41 2 0
5998 I'd like to try something besides seafood for a change. 1.0465 0.03249 43 41 2 0
5999 Don't you dare call me crabby... 1.0465 0.03249 43 41 2 0
6000 I feel like you're always snapping at me 1.0465 0.03249 43 41 2 0
6001 Roy, you snap at me again and I’ll boil you! 1.0465 0.03249 43 41 2 0
6002 You have to stop clawing me! 1.0465 0.03249 43 41 2 0
6003 Did you have to grab me by the claws like that? 1.0465 0.03249 43 41 2 0
6004 I told you no one is old enough to understand a twist on that Jergens ad. 1.0465 0.03249 43 41 2 0
6005 Now who’s in a crappy mood? 1.0465 0.03249 43 41 2 0
6006 I’m glad you listened to me about clawing your way to the top. 1.0465 0.03249 43 41 2 0
6007 I don't care if it is a medical condition, there's no reason to treat my mother that way. 1.0465 0.03249 43 41 2 0
6008 If you don’t walk behind me I will go back to the apartment and get the rubber band and put it around your arms. 1.0465 0.03249 43 41 2 0
6009 I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to snap at you earlier. 1.0465 0.03249 43 41 2 0
6010 Please don’t put your claws on me again! 1.0465 0.03249 43 41 2 0
6011 O.K., you're not too handsy. 1.0465 0.03249 43 41 2 0
6012 Maybe I wasn't supposed to be here. I did. 1.0465 0.03249 43 41 2 0
6013 Keep your filthy claws off my silky drawers. Sharon Wilkins Anniston, AL 1.0465 0.03249 43 41 2 0
6014 Look, I know you say I can be snappy, but this is a step too far. 1.0465 0.03249 43 41 2 0
6015 I don't know. Phoebe says your just not my lobster. 1.0465 0.03249 43 41 2 0
6016 I don't know whether to kiss you or crack you! 1.0465 0.03249 43 41 2 0
6017 I can't believe you even touched that witch! 1.0465 0.04651 43 42 0 1
6018 Being a pincher doesn’t make you much of a catch. 1.0465 0.03249 43 41 2 0
6019 So, you have just arrived from Maine? 1.0465 0.03249 43 41 2 0
6020 I told you they wouldn't give you a discount at Red Lobster just because you wore lobster hands. 1.0465 0.04651 43 42 0 1
6021 Again with the glove shopping? 1.0465 0.03249 43 41 2 0
6022 You're there. You don't need the crabby import. 1.0465 0.03249 43 41 2 0
6023 Imagine if you had ordered the Napoleon for dessert! 1.0465 0.03249 43 41 2 0
6024 Honey, yes you may feel safer this way but so do lobsters after their rubber bands are removed... 1.0465 0.03249 43 41 2 0
6025 No, you can't claw your way back into our relationship. 1.0465 0.03249 43 41 2 0
6026 It’s not Halloween yet and you are already snapping! 1.0465 0.04651 43 42 0 1
6027 We used to be close, hold hands. Now I just pretend I don’t know him. 1.0465 0.03249 43 41 2 0
6028 When I said i want lobster for dinner, I did not mean this.... 1.0465 0.03249 43 41 2 0
6029 You think you're steamed? 1.0465 0.04651 43 42 0 1
6030 I hate crabby hands! All they're good for is grabbing you. 1.0465 0.03249 43 41 2 0
6031 I told you to keep your clammy hands off me. 1.0465 0.03249 43 41 2 0
6032 White claws don't have foam, Dan. 1.0465 0.03249 43 41 2 0
6033 Spare a doller for a Crust-Bum? 1.0465 0.03249 43 41 2 0
6034 It give me Paws for concern! 1.0465 0.03249 43 41 2 0
6035 Let it go honey, it's not as bad as the Mites touch. 1.0465 0.03249 43 41 2 0
6036 No, you're NOT my lobster, Mark." 1.0465 0.04651 43 42 0 1
6037 Is something wrong? You're looking steamed. 1.0465 0.03249 43 41 2 0
6038 Won't get ME into hot water," you said. "Hah! 1.0465 0.03249 43 41 2 0
6039 You're not clawing back that prenup! 1.0465 0.03249 43 41 2 0
6040 They're not an excuse to pinch my butt. 1.0465 0.04651 43 42 0 1
6041 Yes, I saw the movie, amd no, I'm not going with you. 1.0465 0.03249 43 41 2 0
6042 ... and after you'd repaired washing machine the drum started to circle in opposite side. 1.0465 0.03249 43 41 2 0
6043 We've seen "The Giant Claw" a hundred times. Tonight it's "Mamma Mia" or I'm leaving you. 1.0465 0.03249 43 41 2 0
6044 I said you should try White Claw. 1.0465 0.03249 43 41 2 0
6045 There's no such clause in our marriage contract. 1.0465 0.03249 43 41 2 0
6046 I feel clawful for you. 1.0465 0.03249 43 41 2 0
6047 Let me guess—another night of grab and go? 1.0465 0.03249 43 41 2 0
6048 Everything I touch turns to crab. 1.0465 0.03249 43 41 2 0
6049 I'm sorry I ordered the lobster paté,but you have to understand that I'm a human. 1.0465 0.03249 43 41 2 0
6050 I'm going home alone. You've been clawing at me all night! 1.0465 0.03249 43 41 2 0
6051 Honey, what's the matter?" "You're just so shellfish. 1.0465 0.03249 43 41 2 0
6052 At least I’m not a furry... 1.0465 0.03249 43 41 2 0
6053 My sister said you were crabby, but shellfish too? Ugh. 1.0465 0.03249 43 41 2 0
6054 I just can't make up my mind if your crustaceous extremities will match my new outfit or not. 1.0465 0.03249 43 41 2 0
6055 Foreplay isn't what it used to be. 1.0465 0.03249 43 41 2 0
6056 I knew the dollar store was not a good idea" 1.0465 0.03249 43 41 2 0
6057 You butter not pinch me again 1.0465 0.03249 43 41 2 0
6058 I can’t believe we spent $20 on those things at that salad bar. 1.0465 0.03249 43 41 2 0
6059 You are looking sooo claimable 1.0465 0.04651 43 42 0 1
6060 Dinner is served, honey. 1.0465 0.03249 43 41 2 0
6061 I wasn’t asking if you were literally a catfish. 1.0465 0.03249 43 41 2 0
6062 Let’s go to couples counseling, he says.... 1.0465 0.03249 43 41 2 0
6063 Do you really expect me to believe this was your lawyer’s idea? 1.0465 0.03249 43 41 2 0
6064 No, we are not moving to Maine and this ‘Crush and Seize manifestation exercise is getting totally out of hand. 1.0465 0.03249 43 41 2 0
6065 You’ve been so snappish lately... 1.0465 0.03249 43 41 2 0
6066 I didn't ask for a supervillain in this relationship. 1.0465 0.03249 43 41 2 0
6067 For you to do this, just because you thought I was going to buy you gloves again..." 1.0465 0.03249 43 41 2 0
6068 Thanks to you, we were caught red-handed. 1.0465 0.03249 43 41 2 0
6069 I should have heeded my girlfriend's warning about you being all claws. 1.0465 0.03249 43 41 2 0
6070 No! I won't give you a hug. 1.0465 0.03249 43 41 2 0
6071 You're always so crabby on date night. 1.0465 0.03249 43 41 2 0
6072 Yes I got your text. What the hell is ogtcg9otupiu? 1.0465 0.03249 43 41 2 0
6073 Geez Gary, you watch one episode of Friends and now this is who you are? 1.0465 0.04651 43 42 0 1
6074 I've been catfished before, but this is rediculous!" 1.0465 0.03249 43 41 2 0
6075 You are such a crab. 1.0465 0.03249 43 41 2 0
6076 If you pinch my fanny one more time, you're really going to be in hot water when we get home! 1.0465 0.03249 43 41 2 0
6077 I’m not adding your new claws to our relationship agreement. 1.0465 0.03249 43 41 2 0
6078 You’ve given caught red handed an entirely new meaning. 1.0465 0.03249 43 41 2 0
6079 What possessed you to say "lobster claws!" to that genie? 1.0465 0.03249 43 41 2 0
6080 Don’t even think it. No clawing out of this mess. 1.0465 0.03249 43 41 2 0
6081 Does that mean the lobster got your hand? 1.0465 0.03249 43 41 2 0
6082 So now they all know you hate meat. 1.0465 0.03249 43 41 2 0
6083 If you weren’t so shellfish, maybe this relationship would work. 1.0465 0.03249 43 41 2 0
6084 Yes, I love FRIENDS, too, but that doesn’t Mean your “my lobster.” 1.0465 0.03249 43 41 2 0
6085 There's nothing funny about your hands! 1.0465 0.03249 43 41 2 0
6086 I said I love the crab claws at Onnyoo Grill, not on you! 1.0465 0.03249 43 41 2 0
6087 Huh! Don’t think you are going to claw your way back. 1.0465 0.03249 43 41 2 0
6088 If this is what you wanted all along I suppose I should feel vindicated... 1.0465 0.03249 43 41 2 0
6089 You’re always snapping at me. 1.0465 0.03249 43 41 2 0
6090 Why men great 'til they gotta be great. 1.0465 0.04651 43 42 0 1
6091 You're awfully cocksure for a two-legged lobster. I might rather marry a mobster. 1.0465 0.03249 43 41 2 0
6092 This John -Claude Van Damme thing has gone too far. 1.0465 0.03249 43 41 2 0
6093 When I said I would only date a man with big hands that isn’t what I was thinking 1.0465 0.03249 43 41 2 0
6094 Next time, skip the handshake. 1.0465 0.03249 43 41 2 0
6095 I knew my parents wouldn’t approve. So what if you’re not kosher? 1.0465 0.03249 43 41 2 0
6096 No, I’m not going to hold your Halloween candy bag for you. 1.0465 0.03249 43 41 2 0
6097 I'm not changing my menu, regardless of your hints. 1.0465 0.03249 43 41 2 0
6098 I think you've taken 'clawing your way to the top' just a little too seriously! 1.0465 0.03249 43 41 2 0
6099 OK, so even if he did get the Nobel Prize, do you have to take him that literally!? 1.0465 0.03249 43 41 2 0
6100 Talk about being in a pinch. 1.0465 0.03249 43 41 2 0
6101 Okay, I see your point. But I really didn’t know that white wine was to be ordered with shellfish. 1.0465 0.04651 43 42 0 1
6102 I said "NO," but you kept clawing. 1.0465 0.03249 43 41 2 0
6103 This just isn’t what I meant when I said that you’re my lobster. 1.0465 0.03249 43 41 2 0
6104 Those claws were definitely not part of our pre-nup! 1.0465 0.03249 43 41 2 0
6105 Lobster-man and woman don't match, do they? 1.0465 0.03249 43 41 2 0
6106 I am not interesting in having anyone try to claw their way into my heart, thank you very much. 1.0465 0.03249 43 41 2 0
6107 I can’t believe you’re comparing your ‘White Claw identity’ to gender fluidity. 1.0465 0.03249 43 41 2 0
6108 You're not the only one who's steamed 1.0465 0.03249 43 41 2 0
6109 Don’t ever lay your claws on me either!” Robert Mayer, Warsaw, IN. Rmayer4399@comcast.ne 1.0465 0.03249 43 41 2 0
6110 I hate how you never follow through. 1.0465 0.03249 43 41 2 0
6111 Are you sure you clicked “Save in iCloud”? 1.0465 0.03249 43 41 2 0
6112 So,your name isn't "Claude"? 1.0465 0.04651 43 42 0 1
6113 And I thought you were a good catch. 1.0465 0.04651 43 42 0 1
6114 With global warming effects on the fisheries, I bet you're quite concerned about your family's future? 1.0465 0.03249 43 41 2 0
6115 So you're telling me every one of the high priced lawyers I had on the call misunderstood you about the amended clause. 1.0465 0.03249 43 41 2 0
6116 Louie, why are you being so crabby? 1.0465 0.03249 43 41 2 0
6117 You weren't supposed to take those. 1.0465 0.03249 43 41 2 0
6118 You're a glad-hander crustacean and nothing more! 1.0465 0.03249 43 41 2 0
6119 How many times have I told you the tail is the best part! 1.0465 0.03249 43 41 2 0
6120 Was it necessary to show everyone you're a hick from downeast Maine? 1.0465 0.03249 43 41 2 0
6121 Yeah, well, you could have asked me if I wanted lobster hand transplants too. 1.0465 0.04651 43 42 0 1
6122 This won't make Tom Brady notice you. 1.0465 0.03249 43 41 2 0
6123 I can’t believe they don’t serve lobster claw! 1.0465 0.03249 43 41 2 0
6124 You may be feeling crabby, but you won't claw your way out of this one. 1.0465 0.03249 43 41 2 0
6125 Have you tried dating on Snappy dot com? 1.0465 0.03249 43 41 2 0
6126 C'mon, Larry, get a grip. 1.0465 0.03249 43 41 2 0
6127 "I'm not with you in your craven and premature urge to readapt to aquatic life..." 1.0465 0.03249 43 41 2 0
6128 She says” keep your hands to yourself and we will have a great night”. 1.0465 0.03249 43 41 2 0
6129 Every time we visit my parents you get so snappish. 1.0465 0.03249 43 41 2 0
6130 You've got some nerve telling ME I'm being crabby! 1.0465 0.03249 43 41 2 0
6131 This is so not what I meant when I told you to get over your White Claw obsession. 1.0465 0.03249 43 41 2 0
6132 When I searched for someone who could get a good grip on things, this is not what I had in mind. 1.0465 0.03249 43 41 2 0
6133 You should have told me you had crabs 1.0465 0.03249 43 41 2 0
6134 I’m sorry, but playing 60s theme songs..? A castanet player you’ll never be 1.0465 0.03249 43 41 2 0
6135 I didn't like how you snapped at me! 1.0465 0.03249 43 41 2 0
6136 You think I’m the one who can’t feel intimacy? 1.0465 0.03249 43 41 2 0
6137 Just saying...security is alot tighter at Lobster-Con now 1.0455 0.03177 44 42 2 0
6138 No I don’t care how much melted butter you have! I’m not eating your hands pervert! 1.0455 0.03177 44 42 2 0
6139 Let me guess...surf 'n turf again? 1.0455 0.03177 44 42 2 0
6140 I really regret telling you to claw your way to the top. 1.0455 0.03177 44 42 2 0
6141 That marriage counselor seemed wicked smaht! 1.0444 0.03107 45 43 2 0
6142 Not sea food again. 1.0444 0.03107 45 43 2 0
6143 This is just our first date. Keep your meat hooks off me 1.0444 0.03107 45 43 2 0
6144 Is the world really ready for Jean Clawed Van Damme? 1.0435 0.03040 46 44 2 0
6145 Humph!! They'll be no romance tonight Walter!! 1.0417 0.02915 48 46 2 0
6146 Fine, don't hold hands, but this is going too far! 1.0250 0.02532 40 39 1 0
6147 It's a fish fry, not a costume party 1.0250 0.02532 40 39 1 0
6148 I still don't understand why you spent our abortion money on props for your little open-mic, like anybody really believes you clawed your way out of poverty. You're in a crewneck sweatshirt for Chrissakes. 1.0250 0.02532 40 39 1 0
6149 Not what I meant when I said I’d like some lobster tonight. 1.0250 0.02532 40 39 1 0
6150 Idiot! What I said was, ‘You don’t have a CLUE!’ 1.0250 0.02532 40 39 1 0
6151 No claw back; you earned that bonus. 1.0250 0.02532 40 39 1 0
6152 Hay babe, want to see crab hands? 1.0250 0.02532 40 39 1 0
6153 Look who’s being crabby, Buster! 1.0250 0.02532 40 39 1 0
6154 I know you're trying to get closer to my family, But really George? Shoving your claws up my great grandmother's ass! 1.0250 0.02532 40 39 1 0
6155 It is really time for you to get over being a beach bum. 1.0250 0.02532 40 39 1 0
6156 You can grab the gusto without me, buddy! 1.0250 0.02532 40 39 1 0
6157 Why do you have against Red Lobster? 1.0250 0.02532 40 39 1 0
6158 I don't want to hold your hand because I'm mad at you not because of your claws. 1.0250 0.02532 40 39 1 0
6159 MAM I AM WEARING EAGLE BEAK GLOVES TO PROVE MY INTENT 1.0250 0.02532 40 39 1 0
6160 A mani-pedi doesn't seem the best option for a first date. 1.0250 0.02532 40 39 1 0
6161 Crabby, huh? 1.0250 0.02532 40 39 1 0
6162 Well, I for one, do not like the word 'Great'. 1.0196 0.01980 51 50 1 0