Contest #672


Cartoon

672

The winning captions

These captions are chosen by The New Yorker.

  1. “Don't worry. I wouldn't prescribe anything I haven't tested on myself.”
  2. “Trust me, I know the plague when I see it.”
  3. “I’m a rat. What you need is an ophthalmologist.”


Name Value
Submission deadline 2019-08-11T22:14:00.000Z
Voting started -
Voting ended 2019-08-25T22:25:00.000Z
Finalists announced 2019-08-19T22:15:00.000Z
Magazine(s) announcing finalists issued August 26, 2019
Number of captions 4577
Number of responses 783674
Number of participants -


Dashboard

In this table, the "mean" means the empirically measured average funniness score when the "unfunny", "somewhat funny" and "funny" receive a funniness score of 1, 2, 3 respectively. "Precison" is the standard error of the mean, the standard deviation of the mean estimate. With that, a caption with an empirical mean μ and precision σ has true mean in the range [μ - 2σ, μ + 2σ] with 95% probability by the 68-95-99.7 rule assuming the responses are indepedent and identically distributed.

Rank Caption Mean Precision Total votes "Unfunny" votes "Somewhat funny" votes "Funny" votes
0 I take this myself. There is one side effect I should mention. 2.0944 0.01069 5278 1367 2046 1865
1 I'm sure it works. I was involved in the original research. 2.0127 0.00759 10949 3381 4048 3520
2 These should help with the hallucinations. 2.0125 0.00786 10597 3399 3667 3531
3 Don't worry. I wouldn't prescribe anything I haven't tested on myself. 1.9308 0.00858 8357 2881 3173 2303
4 No, I said I was a rodent scholar. 1.9101 0.00849 9540 3744 2910 2886
5 I started in the lab and then went to medical school. 1.9089 0.00844 8937 3287 3177 2473
6 Bring this up to the receptionist. You'll go down the hall and take a right, then another right, then a left, then a right again... 1.8659 0.01285 3900 1552 1319 1029
7 We take Blue Cross or Blue Cheese. 1.8514 0.00922 7927 3348 2409 2170
8 You came to the right place. I DO give a rat's ass about your problem. 1.8415 0.01202 4630 1974 1416 1240
9 Why do you keep asking about side effects? 1.8361 0.00872 8052 3231 2910 1911
10 My father dragged slices of pizza down the subway stairs to put me through medical school. 1.8326 0.01280 3990 1694 1270 1026
11 I suggest more exercise. Do you have a wheel at home? 1.7984 0.00984 6181 2597 2233 1351
12 Rest assured, I was first in my maze. 1.7963 0.01244 3913 1664 1382 867
13 Most of us go into research 1.7848 0.00960 6362 2698 2335 1329
14 Stop the medication right away if your cats take sudden interest in you. 1.7832 0.00960 6798 3026 2220 1552
15 Don't worry, I've never prescribed anything I haven't tested on myself. 1.7802 0.02175 1119 446 473 200
16 No pressure, but a lot of my best friends died so you could take this drug. 1.7727 0.02231 1245 559 410 276
17 Of course there are no side effects, I take it myself. 1.7721 0.00857 8073 3525 2863 1685
18 Full disclosure: I participated in the clinical trials. 1.7717 0.00909 6961 2977 2596 1388
19 Don't worry, it was tested on people. 1.7228 0.01458 2666 1227 951 488
20 Go back to your cube, hit the lever two times and call me in the morning. 1.7170 0.01098 4908 2343 1611 954
21 We're conducting tests on humans to determine if it's safe for rats. 1.7123 0.01316 3466 1682 1099 685
22 Usually you have to run a maze to get stuff this good. 1.7088 0.01072 5264 2583 1631 1050
23 Here’s a referral to a cartoonist who can fix your eyeball. 1.7023 0.01687 2284 1183 598 503
24 I’m sending you to the lab. It’s going to be a dog. 1.6954 0.01249 4656 2615 844 1197
25 We're not all lawyers. 1.6953 0.01698 2140 1085 622 433
26 There are no side effects to worry about. I take this myself. 1.6951 0.00978 5711 2695 2062 954
27 My nurses will help you navigate the insurance maze. 1.6700 0.01250 3564 1774 1192 598
28 Ask my secretary to show you out. This place is a maze. 1.6692 0.01837 1599 783 562 254
29 Remember during open enrollment, you chose Plan B? 1.6676 0.01754 1808 903 603 302
30 Side effects include seeing people for who they really are 1.6661 0.01879 1635 838 506 291
31 Here is your ID badge. welcome to the White House 1.6648 0.01797 1951 1051 503 397
32 It's totally safe. I've been on it for years. 1.6642 0.01143 4137 2045 1436 656
33 Wolves on Wall Street, sharks in law: health care was my only choice. 1.6619 0.01955 1467 743 477 247
34 You remember how the Republicans said they had a great alternative to Obamacare? 1.6583 0.02040 1431 754 412 265
35 Of course it's safe. I take it myself. 1.6550 0.01225 3507 1737 1243 527
36 Doctorate...Doctor Rat. Same diff, right? 1.6524 0.01948 1499 777 466 256
37 This is for the hallucinations. 1.6509 0.01202 3652 1824 1279 549
38 Be sure to take the pills with cheese. 1.6475 0.01338 3228 1702 962 564
39 Call me if you notice anything unusual. 1.6444 0.01267 3290 1662 1136 492
40 So, you’re a member at Mar-a-Lago? My family's been there for generations. 1.6441 0.02144 1312 712 355 245
41 It's just that, from my perspective, having three years to live is quite remarkable indeed. 1.6416 0.02153 1208 632 377 199
42 I’m the first of my 1,500 siblings to graduate from college. 1.6365 0.01864 1505 766 520 219
43 Not a prescription, two tickets to "Cats". I hate that show. 1.6363 0.01822 1699 900 517 282
44 Yes, it will cure your erectile disfunction but the major side effect is you end up with very small hands. 1.6322 0.02008 1422 765 415 242
45 Make your first right, your second left, go to the end, go right, then right, then left, then the second right, make the next left, then a left, then a left, the next left, make a right, a right, and a left, and the pharmacy's right there. 1.6310 0.01850 1534 790 520 224
46 Frankly, with your health plan coverage, I am all you can afford 1.6256 0.01899 1445 748 490 207
47 I examined your stool sample. It was delicious. 1.6237 0.02343 1164 673 256 235
48 What's the matter? Do you have a problem with my Trump University credentials? 1.6165 0.02308 1176 680 267 229
49 You smell what?! 1.6157 0.01715 1936 1066 548 322
50 I can both spread AND cure disease at the same time. 1.6121 0.02159 1142 611 363 168
51 I’m going to refer you to a specialist in Baltimore, the place is infested with doctors. 1.6099 0.01800 1684 916 509 259
52 Twice a day until your eyes pop back into your head 1.6044 0.02238 1044 561 335 148
53 ... and you'll be back in the rat race in ten days. 1.5996 0.03308 482 262 151 69
54 Whatever you do, and I speak from experience, do not exceed the recommended dosage. 1.5981 0.02421 943 526 270 147
55 I'm sorry I bit you. You might want to get this filled immediately. 1.5980 0.02781 714 398 205 111
56 Take two of these and the hallucinations will get even better. 1.5972 0.02071 1194 643 389 162
57 It’s completely safe. I participated in the trials myself. 1.5965 0.01642 1891 1017 620 254
58 This would have saved my dad. Too bad he was in the control group. 1.5963 0.01874 1516 833 462 221
59 Side effects? You know I wouldn't give you anything I haven't tried myself. 1.5950 0.01674 1847 1003 589 255
60 I'm not an ANIMAL doctor, I'm an animal DOCTOR. 1.5949 0.02229 1022 550 336 136
61 Take two with a wedge of cheese every four hours. 1.5904 0.03281 498 277 148 73
62 Little do people realize, the best way to trap a rat is 8 years of crippling medical school debt 1.5819 0.02155 1148 646 336 166
63 If you want a human doctor, you'll need private health insurance. 1.5815 0.02192 1135 646 318 171
64 As the new head of the CDC, I'm one of the more credible Presidential appointments. 1.5791 0.02156 1195 689 320 186
65 I'm trying to get rid of some neighborhood cats. 1.5730 0.02023 1576 988 273 315
66 I go to med school. My brother picks up a slice of pizza. And he's the famous one. 1.5727 0.02851 660 378 186 96
67 'Has it been tested on animals'? What the hell kind of question is that?!" 1.5723 0.02368 975 564 264 147
68 You look like you've never seen a prescription before. 1.5714 0.02301 980 554 292 134
69 Before I became a doctor, I was a lab assistant. 1.5712 0.02566 681 361 251 69
70 It's still in the trial-phase, but we're seeing positive results among humans 1.5665 0.01897 1361 756 439 166
71 This time we are having humans test it first. 1.5653 0.02169 1102 629 323 150
72 Well actually, I graduated from Ratcliffe. Why do you ask? 1.5628 0.02111 1178 679 335 164
73 This’ll do the trick. My wife’s already produced four litters this year. 1.5604 0.02338 944 542 275 127
74 We accept cash, credit or a nice gouda. 1.5593 0.02473 835 478 247 110
75 This should cure what plagues you. 1.5590 0.02421 864 493 259 112
76 This will help with your hallucinations. 1.5580 0.02098 1181 683 337 161
77 You can fill this at the nearest pharmacy: turn left, right, right, left, right, left, left, then right. 1.5552 0.02045 1160 654 368 138
78 Yep, worked my way up from the lab. 1.5502 0.02280 956 549 288 119
79 Its the new Republican health care plan. I'm the manager here. 1.5484 0.02701 764 463 183 118
80 Call me if the erection lasts longer than four generations.” 1.5446 0.02605 808 489 198 121
81 Don't tell anyone, but I'm recommending a CAT scan. 1.5442 0.02334 917 533 269 115
82 Side effects? Maybe an enhanced sense of smell... 1.5429 0.02229 1013 592 292 129
83 And here's a prescription for a rabies shot, with my sincerest apologies for what happened earlier. 1.5413 0.02471 848 503 231 114
84 The bad news is I'm a rat. The good news is there's no co-pay. 1.5372 0.02774 646 379 187 80
85 I've increased your dosage, but let me know if people begin to look like rodents. 1.5358 0.02417 894 537 235 122
86 Actually, I’m the only one in my family who’s not a lawyer. 1.5353 0.03146 510 302 143 65
87 Here’s your prescription, and apologies in advance, our pharmacy is a bit of a hole in the wall 1.5348 0.02602 718 419 214 85
88 Gnaw through the plastic and take two 1.5330 0.04724 227 135 63 29
89 If I'm not exterminated, I'll see you in two weeks. 1.5325 0.03602 385 228 109 48
90 No, it's not poison. Would you give me something with poison in it? 1.5322 0.02464 793 463 238 92
91 What did you think the Ratification of Obamacare meant? 1.5321 0.02524 840 513 207 120
92 Take this until I stop looking like a rat 1.5316 0.02383 869 513 250 106
93 I swear to god Jim if you make one more joke about the rat race I will not hesitate to get HR involved. 1.5316 0.02520 775 457 224 94
94 No, no side effects. Why? 1.5315 0.02389 858 505 250 103
95 Side effects? You could become much bigger and more intelligent. 1.5298 0.02545 789 474 212 103
96 Does your insurance cover out-of-species providers? 1.5285 0.03552 403 242 109 52
97 Hey, we can't all work in the White House. 1.5285 0.02595 789 483 195 111
98 Don’t worry Mr.Smith we’re experts at burrowing. Your colonoscopy is going to go just fine. 1.5282 0.02880 638 390 159 89
99 Now don't be giving me that physician assistant is not a doctor look. 1.5277 0.02559 703 406 223 74
100 Why are you always so focused on side effects? 1.5257 0.02926 565 334 165 66
101 Call the office immediately if this makes you nauseous, jittery, or want to crawl into the walls and die. 1.5236 0.02439 827 494 233 100
102 Ratcliffe! Were'd you get your degree? 1.5227 0.02732 660 395 185 80
103 Here, this should help with some of your psychotic symptoms. But I really am a giant rat. 1.5222 0.02526 722 421 225 76
104 Trust me, I wouldn't prescribe anything I hadn't first tried myself. 1.5197 0.02516 735 432 224 79
105 All my friends at the lab say it's safe and effective. 1.5197 0.02460 787 467 231 89
106 I take it myself and as far as I can tell there is only ONE side effect. 1.5175 0.02600 744 453 193 93
107 Take 2 with either cheese or peanut butter... 1.5139 0.02602 722 437 199 86
108 If you can't swallow pills, have your wife hide them in your food. 1.5116 0.02823 602 363 170 69
109 That's DOCTOR Rat Bastard, to you! 1.5101 0.02864 643 404 150 89
110 I'm a new hybrid -- part doctor, part health insurance company. 1.5099 0.02912 604 375 150 79
111 It's perfectly safe- I've tried it myself. 1.5073 0.02602 688 413 201 74
112 Try this, it worked for me. 1.5063 0.02579 711 430 202 79
113 I tried lab work for a while, but I missed the patient contact. 1.5063 0.02964 553 338 150 65
114 Why would you think I'm from Baltimore? 1.5052 0.02829 671 428 147 96
115 We don't do CAT scans in our office 1.5047 0.03370 430 264 115 51
116 This might help with your hallucinations. I think we'll work on your trust issues later. 1.5037 0.02712 667 411 176 80
117 Here, this should help with the hallucinations. 1.5034 0.02587 725 445 195 85
118 We tested it in humans. 1.5030 0.02689 658 401 183 74
119 I’m a rat. What you need is an ophthalmologist. 1.5008 0.02801 603 368 168 67
120 Trust me, I know the plague when I see it. 1.4991 0.02887 587 364 153 70
121 What did you say you smell? 1.4982 0.02897 550 334 158 58
122 This should take care of the hallucinations. 1.4978 0.02698 677 422 173 82
123 You can get this filled behind the refrigerator. 1.4970 0.03047 505 309 141 55
124 If you don’t have insurance, I accept cheese. 1.4964 0.02815 560 336 170 54
125 My father was a lab rat but he always wanted more for me. 1.4963 0.02897 544 330 158 56
126 It's an emergency - I'm going to have to scurry." 1.4959 0.02774 605 370 170 65
127 ...University of Baltimore Medical School, Why? 1.4951 0.02868 614 388 148 78
128 I tested it in the lab myself. 1.4936 0.02734 626 385 173 68
129 Take two now, you won’t see me in the morning. 1.4930 0.02723 641 397 172 72
130 Things will probably look normal again once we get your eye back into its socket. 1.4920 0.02878 561 345 156 60
131 Let's make this quick. I have to get back to the lab. 1.4897 0.02774 584 356 170 58
132 Don't worry. I've had a long career in medical research. 1.4894 0.02826 566 346 163 57
133 The only side effects that lab tests have shown is an increase in the growth of nose hair. 1.4874 0.03200 478 302 119 57
134 I won't lie, there are some side effects. 1.4863 0.02901 549 340 151 58
135 Of course it works, I was in the clinical trials. 1.4860 0.02812 570 350 163 57
136 I need a cat scan before I can make a diagnosis. 1.4858 0.02932 564 356 142 66
137 I wouldn't prescribe you anything I haven't tested on myself. 1.4854 0.02871 583 367 149 67
138 I take them myself. There’s only one serious side effect - 1.4854 0.02922 583 372 139 72
139 If you think you're hallucinating now, wait til you take this stuff. 1.4838 0.02853 585 368 151 66
140 Oh so rats can carry disease but not cure them? 1.4832 0.03110 505 321 124 60
141 Speaking from experience, there’s only one known side effect. 1.4822 0.03634 338 208 97 33
142 It’s safe, I promise. It’s been tested on mice. 1.4816 0.03149 434 264 131 39
143 Let’s hold off on the CAT scan 1.4809 0.02858 551 341 155 55
144 Take two of these daily and bring me a sample of your droppings. 1.4796 0.02938 515 318 147 50
145 Don't worry, it's safe. I tested it on myself first. 1.4794 0.02857 509 307 160 42
146 I know you poisoned everyone I loved last year, but you can trust me. 1.4766 0.03225 470 302 112 56
147 Every time I give you one of these, touch the keypad with your nose and I’ll give you another 1.4741 0.02911 540 340 144 56
148 Down the hall on the left, left, right, left, right, left, right, right, left. 1.4732 0.02996 522 332 133 57
149 Minimal side effects. I take it myself. 1.4715 0.03081 473 297 129 47
150 This will help with the hallucinations. 1.4701 0.02920 519 325 144 50
151 I know, I know no one looks like their drivers license picture. 1.4691 0.03022 501 318 131 52
152 What did you expect when you opted for an HMO? 1.4686 0.03003 493 310 135 48
153 Johns Hopkins in Baltimore, why? 1.4676 0.03306 432 278 106 48
154 Yes, the medication may have some side effects - why do you ask? 1.4669 0.02986 484 302 138 44
155 Just press the lever if you want me to refill your prescription. 1.4668 0.03085 422 257 133 32
156 The medicine works, but nose hair is a regrettable side effect. 1.4636 0.04837 220 147 44 29
157 If you feel like it's working, keep pressing the button. 1.4636 0.03131 440 276 124 40
158 Sure it’s safe. I’ve been taking it for years. 1.4634 0.03107 464 295 123 46
159 No, we don't test on mice any more." 1.4627 0.02994 482 303 135 44
160 I understand your concern Mr. Phipps, but ask yourself this - if I were really a rat, would I have been able to write you this anti-psychotic prescription? 1.4624 0.03494 372 238 96 38
161 Yes, it's a new drug, but I tested it myself. 1.4620 0.02982 461 285 139 37
162 Side effects? You're looking at them. 1.4613 0.03432 375 238 101 36
163 Listen, I don't prescribe anything I wouldn't test on myself. 1.4612 0.03117 477 308 118 51
164 I’m also a lawyer. 1.4604 0.03247 454 297 105 52
165 Side effects? Nothing serious. Why do you ask? 1.4604 0.03140 454 290 119 45
166 You won't win the race, but you won't care. 1.4595 0.03110 457 291 122 44
167 Trust me, it works in humans also 1.4589 0.03190 462 301 110 51
168 Why yes, my medical career did start with lab testing. 1.4589 0.03130 462 296 117 46
169 Here's your prescription. By the way, I know you poisoned my uncle. 1.4580 0.03254 441 287 106 48
170 Johns Hopkins, why do you ask? 1.4580 0.03071 452 285 127 40
171 Why, yes . . . Johns Hopkins is in Baltimore . . . why do you ask?? 1.4577 0.03513 378 246 92 41
172 Believe me, I know bubonic plague when I see it. 1.4569 0.03252 394 247 114 33
173 If this curbs your hallucinations, call me and let me know if I’m real. 1.4568 0.03609 370 244 83 43
174 It's a business card, Mr. Emerson, not the plague. 1.4567 0.03601 335 213 91 31
175 The side effects ARE the perks. 1.4559 0.03200 454 296 109 49
176 Take 2 a day and if your hallucinations don't go away,I will refer you to Dr.Wolf 1.4558 0.03086 452 287 124 41
177 Of course, there are side effects. 1.4554 0.03144 437 278 119 40
178 There are no side-effects, I've been on it for years and have not noticed anything. 1.4554 0.03105 448 285 122 41
179 The generic is cheaper, but genuine Gruyère is more effective. 1.4545 0.03327 407 263 103 41
180 The human trials have gone well so far. 1.4531 0.03059 437 274 128 35
181 Sure, I get teased about it. But I monetized it, and that video of me dragging a slice of pizza through the subway paid for my medical school. 1.4531 0.03193 437 282 112 43
182 We're quite optimistic. Tests with lab humans are promising. 1.4518 0.03098 436 276 123 37
183 We've taken over, you'd better get used to it... 1.4513 0.03393 339 210 105 24
184 This medicine has proven safe for rats. It could go either way for humans. 1.4510 0.03552 357 232 88 36
185 Safe? Of course it is safe. I use it myself. 1.4499 0.03201 429 277 111 41
186 Side effects, um no, why!? 1.4499 0.03098 429 271 123 35
187 The pharmacy's under the subway platform. 1.4498 0.03209 418 268 112 38
188 My staff and I are highly experienced navigating the health care maze. 1.4494 0.03171 425 272 115 38
189 Take as needed for hallucinations. 1.4489 0.03279 421 275 103 43
190 Trust me, this is the best treatment for your hallucinations. 1.4489 0.03210 421 271 111 39
191 Take it with cheese. 1.4476 0.03125 420 266 118 34
192 I can't be the first rodent you've seen in Baltimore, Jared. 1.4471 0.03377 416 277 92 47
193 It took some doing, but we finally found out who moved your cheese. 1.4467 0.03404 394 259 94 41
194 I can vouch for the efficacy of this medication having participated in its clinical trial. 1.4466 0.03295 412 269 102 41
195 Take this down the hall, make two rights, a left, and another right. Trust me, it’s a real maze in here. 1.4450 0.03285 391 251 106 34
196 This should start working in a few days... in the meantime, try not to be self-conscious about your appearance. 1.4442 0.03254 403 260 107 36
197 That’ll get you right back in the rat race. 1.4442 0.03365 403 266 95 42
198 Gnaw, don't swallow. 1.4442 0.03291 403 262 103 38
199 I once misdiagnosed an old Gypsy woman. 1.4438 0.03534 356 233 88 35
200 Take this to the lab. Out the door, three lefts, take the second corridor on the right, then two more rights, third door on the right, then turn left, and left again.... 1.4425 0.03420 400 267 89 44
201 Call if you begin to hallucinate 1.4419 0.03093 396 247 123 26
202 This is for that gnawing feeling. 1.4419 0.03328 387 251 101 35
203 I'm certain that this will help you. Lot's of my friends were in the clinical trial. 1.4416 0.03226 394 252 110 32
204 Yes, you're right, I did write Trump's greatest physical condition letter. 1.4416 0.03477 394 265 84 45
205 If any mole looks suspicious, you should report it immediately to your dermatologist. 1.4407 0.03381 388 255 95 38
206 And, for the last time, it's Dr. Ratficker--with an "i"! 1.4403 0.03572 377 255 78 44
207 This medicine was successfully tested on my 60 children. 1.4394 0.03408 371 242 95 34
208 This new prescription should help with your hallucinations. 1.4393 0.03286 387 250 104 33
209 But I did stay in a Holiday Inn last night. 1.4390 0.03064 385 238 125 22
210 You can pick up your prescription at Rat-Aid 1.4363 0.04125 259 171 63 25
211 You want species-specific diagnostics, you’re gonna have to up your plan 1.4362 0.03352 376 245 98 33
212 Trust me, I know about adverse side effects. 1.4362 0.03352 376 245 98 33
213 Some days I feel trapped as well. 1.4362 0.03352 376 245 98 33
214 Welcome to the human trial phase of this study, Mr. Jones. 1.4355 0.03356 372 242 98 32
215 Becoming a doctor was a good career move, since working in the lab was really a dead-end job. 1.4341 0.03407 364 238 94 32
216 hickory dickory dock, your results may come as a shock. 1.4334 0.03482 353 232 89 32
217 And no driving. Take the subway like I do. 1.4332 0.03453 367 243 89 35
218 I’m referring you to an ophthalmologist 1.4330 0.03378 351 226 98 27
219 You can get this filled at the dumpster behind Sal's. 1.4326 0.03461 356 234 90 32
220 It's not poison. Trust me. I know poison. 1.4323 0.03548 347 230 84 33
221 I swear, D-Con is just shorthand for decongestion medication. 1.4309 0.03732 311 206 76 29
222 You're not eating enough garbage." 1.4306 0.03458 353 232 90 31
223 This will get you back in the race. 1.4306 0.03364 360 234 97 29
224 One pellet three times a day. 1.4302 0.03283 358 228 104 25
225 Believe me I know all about cat allergies, here get this filled." 1.4301 0.03940 279 185 68 26
226 Trust me. I work in a lab. 1.4298 0.03343 356 230 99 27
227 It's rat poison, yes, but, Mr Skiles, you are not a rat. 1.4294 0.03711 326 219 74 33
228 Take 2 of these and scurry back in the morning. 1.4294 0.03542 354 237 82 35
229 We need to test this out on humans before we can get FDA approval. 1.4290 0.03601 352 238 77 37
230 Before this, I spent some time in the lab. 1.4265 0.03592 347 234 78 35
231 This hospital's bureaucracy is a maze, but I don't mind it. 1.4265 0.03251 347 220 106 21
232 Take these twice a day with garbage. 1.4261 0.03536 345 230 83 32
233 Call me if you notice anything weird. 1.4257 0.03428 343 224 92 27
234 Well, at least I'm not a quack. 1.4251 0.03618 334 224 78 32
235 You can fill this at our in-house pharmacy: it’s down the hall, take a right, another right, then a left, two more rights, then three lefts, and another right. 1.4243 0.03520 337 223 85 29
236 If you'll just take your medications, I'll quit being a pest. 1.4235 0.03522 340 226 84 30
237 Twice a day, with food, or anything else you find rummaging through the trash. 1.4234 0.03919 274 182 68 24
238 Here is a comp ticket to see me in The Nutcracker tonight. 1.4233 0.03615 300 195 83 22
239 If I'm still a rat next week, we'll change this prescription. 1.4230 0.03539 331 219 84 28
240 I know it works. I was part of the clinical trial. 1.4226 0.03527 336 223 84 29
241 Run two laps in the maze and call me in the morning. 1.4225 0.03448 329 214 91 24
242 That's DOCTOR Vermin, please. 1.4222 0.03541 334 222 83 29
243 Take two of these pills and tell me what I look like in the morning. 1.4222 0.03516 334 221 85 28
244 We're still great at testing, but we're also moving up into the higher paying pharmaceutical jobs. 1.4202 0.03628 326 219 77 30
245 Don't worry about the side effects. Trust me, I've been taking it myself for years. 1.4185 0.03634 325 219 76 30
246 Yeah! I DO give a rat’s ass about your health! 1.4182 0.03555 318 210 83 25
247 I started out as a lab rat,and worked my way up. 1.4182 0.03582 318 211 81 26
248 You don’t trust me? Is it the moustache? 1.4167 0.03630 312 208 78 26
249 Trust me: I would never prescribe an experimental drug that I haven't tried myself. 1.4164 0.03699 317 215 72 30
250 Clearly you are hallucinating. Why would I have a landline on my desk? 1.4164 0.03617 317 212 78 27
251 I take this too, and look at me. 1.4158 0.03645 303 201 78 24
252 Why the doubtful look? I’ll have you know I’m considered a giant in my field. 1.4156 0.03604 308 204 80 24
253 There are some side-effects, 1.4145 0.03606 304 201 80 23
254 You will want to take this on a full stomach of cheese. 1.4143 0.04050 251 168 62 21
255 This should help for your hallucinations. 1.4142 0.03624 309 206 78 25
256 It will stop you from hallucinating. 1.4140 0.03777 314 216 66 32
257 Of course, I’m using a mouse. Why do you ask? 1.4140 0.03611 314 210 78 26
258 Don’t worry, I take it myself. 1.4139 0.03622 302 200 79 23
259 Get bit by a radioactive rat, they said. It'll give you superpowers, they said. 1.4137 0.03755 307 209 69 29
260 ...I don’t give a rat’s ass... 1.4126 0.04032 269 184 59 26
261 My father spent his life in the dump just to get me where I am today 1.4126 0.03560 286 185 84 17
262 Don't worry, it's been tested on humans first 1.4125 0.03732 303 205 71 27
263 Give it a month or two and you'll love Baltimore. 1.4125 0.03790 303 207 67 29
264 Pay particular attention to the list of side effects. 1.4097 0.03708 288 192 74 22
265 here's your prescription for your new glasses. 1.4091 0.03726 286 191 73 22
266 Sorry, only Velveeta is covered by your insurance. 1.4089 0.03994 269 184 60 25
267 I take it myself and I haven't noticed any side effects. 1.4088 0.03700 296 199 73 24
268 .... and you’re going to need a ratscan. 1.4088 0.03731 296 200 71 25
269 I'm sorry sir, but your cat didn't survive her check-up. 1.4086 0.03687 301 203 73 25
270 It works. I tested it myself. 1.4086 0.03776 301 206 67 28
271 I can get you into an experimental trial. Those are my specialty. 1.4083 0.03762 289 195 70 24
272 Of course, in the old days, they would just cut off your tail with a carving knife. 1.4078 0.03828 282 191 67 24
273 This won't stop the hallucinations, but at least they'll seem hilarious. 1.4077 0.03582 287 188 81 18
274 We’ll run you through the maze again in a week. Better luck next time. 1.4075 0.03734 292 197 71 24
275 This prescription in very effective in quelling anthropomorphic delusions. 1.4074 0.03781 297 203 67 27
276 I'd also stay away from cheese. It's a trap. 1.4074 0.03751 297 202 69 26
277 You want to win don't you? 1.4070 0.04151 258 179 53 26
278 It's new but I think you'll find it effective. I tested it myself. 1.4069 0.03752 290 196 70 24
279 Side effects? I never noticed any. 1.4069 0.03623 290 192 78 20
280 I'm writing you a prescription for Gorgonzola. 1.4068 0.03977 295 208 54 33
281 I started in the lab and worked my way up. 1.4062 0.03606 288 191 76 20
282 Don't hesitate to call me if the hallucinations continue. 1.4062 0.03770 288 194 68 22
283 Take two of these every day right before you run on your wheel. 1.4062 0.03896 288 199 61 28
284 I have taken this medicine for years without any unusual side effects. 1.4062 0.03606 288 190 79 19
285 They've fast tracked this through the FDA - it was tested on me this morning. 1.4062 0.03770 288 195 69 24
286 My mistake. I should have warned you about the hallucinogenic side-effects. 1.4061 0.03817 293 201 65 27
287 There may be some side effects. 1.4055 0.03513 291 190 84 17
288 My pronouns are rat or rodent 1.4043 0.03890 282 194 62 26
289 I also added the vaccine for bubonic plague because...well you know. 1.4042 0.03646 287 191 76 20
290 Just relax. I'm what you get when you buy a cheap insurance policy! 1.4042 0.03646 287 191 76 20
291 I can vouch for the effectiveness of this drug, I participated in the clinical trial 1.4042 0.03612 287 190 78 19
292 First I interned as a lab rat at Stanford . 1.4042 0.03712 287 193 72 22
293 You will be fine. It's been exhaustively tested on laboratory humans 1.4035 0.03730 285 192 71 22
294 Actually there are some even more disturbing side effects we should probably talk about. 1.4022 0.03813 276 187 67 22
295 Don't worry about the side effects. I'm taking it myself. 1.4021 0.03817 286 196 65 25
296 It's for cheese. You need more cheese in your diet. 1.4014 0.03645 279 185 76 18
297 Rat poison is a highly effective blood thinner - and your insurance will pay for it. 1.4014 0.03851 279 191 64 24
298 We do drug trials a little differently now. 1.4007 0.03590 277 184 75 17
299 This ought to get you back in the rat race Mr. Willard. 1.4007 0.03802 277 188 67 22
300 Here's your prescription. Should put an end to your irrational hallucinations. 1.4007 0.03802 277 188 67 22
301 Of course, I can't guarantee you're not in the control group. 1.4007 0.03697 277 185 73 19
302 I am not going to lie to you, there are some side effects 1.4007 0.03697 277 185 73 19
303 Now scurry over to the pharmacy. 1.4000 0.03773 280 190 68 22
304 These should help you with the hallucinations. 1.4000 0.03773 280 190 68 22
305 If you need Penicillin, I recommend the moldy cheese in the alley. 1.4000 0.03939 280 195 58 27
306 If you think your meds are too expensive complain to the the vermin who set the prices, not to me. 1.4000 0.03751 275 185 70 20
307 You wouldn’t believe the maze I ran through to get these degrees. 1.4000 0.03957 275 191 58 26
308 Do I have something on my face? 1.3992 0.04015 263 182 57 24
309 Yes, that diploma says John's Hopkins. Yes, it's in Baltimore. 1.3985 0.03964 271 188 58 25
310 I'm referring you to Dr. Katz. 1.3985 0.03715 271 181 72 18
311 Not to worry. Mild hallucinations are a common side-effect. 1.3985 0.03859 271 185 64 22
312 The pharmacy is at the end of the hall and through the maze. 1.3985 0.03787 271 183 68 20
313 Take two of these and you're not even going to care if you ever get out of the maze. 1.3985 0.03859 271 185 64 22
314 It developed from 'press lever get a snack' to 'pass medical degree get a snack' 1.3985 0.03964 271 188 58 25
315 No it’s safe now. I took them when it was still experimental. 1.3985 0.03888 261 177 64 20
316 I'd still like to run a few lab tests with you. 1.3978 0.03758 274 185 69 20
317 I’m prescribing Rodentia. It’s still in trials, but it works. I haven’t had a migraine in months. 1.3974 0.04351 229 160 47 22
318 Call me,we’re looking for lab people. 1.3971 0.03952 272 189 58 25
319 Don't worry, it's been fully tested on humans. 1.3971 0.03740 272 183 70 19
320 And remember to get that eyeball fixed. You look weird. 1.3971 0.04054 272 192 52 28
321 Don’t worry about side effects - I take it myself. 1.3963 0.03684 270 180 73 17
322 Oh, but you will give a rat’s ass. 1.3962 0.03844 265 180 65 20
323 Your coat's looking a little dull. 1.3961 0.04140 255 179 51 25
324 Ironically, humans initially developed this medicine as a rat poison. Who's laughing now? 1.3956 0.04360 225 157 47 21
325 This will have you back in the rat race in no time! 1.3955 0.03886 268 184 61 21
326 We hope this works in humans so we can try it in rats. 1.3953 0.03890 253 171 64 18
327 You’re credit card isn’t working. If it helps we also accept cheese. 1.3933 0.03930 267 185 59 23
328 Of course it's safe. It was tested on my parents. 1.3933 0.03784 267 181 67 19
329 Listen, I'm not supposed to do this, but when I needed them, these things got me through a lot of mazes. 1.3932 0.04384 206 141 49 16
330 Here' your script renewal. Let me know if you get dry mouth, bug eyed, or have rodent hallucinations. 1.3931 0.03947 262 181 59 22
331 Seriously, I've found this drug to be transformative! 1.3931 0.03947 262 180 59 22
332 Of course it's safe - it was tested on me. 1.3925 0.03803 265 180 66 19
333 Look we didn't choose to spread the Plague. Why you're bringing back Measles I'll never know 1.3925 0.03987 265 185 56 24
334 I'm the only doctor available in your plan. Let me check you for fleas 1.3925 0.03650 265 176 74 15
335 It’s safe, I tested it on myself. 1.3925 0.04093 265 188 50 27
336 It's an experimental drug. We want to see how it affects humans before trying it on rats. 1.3923 0.03967 260 180 58 22
337 It's called the 'human condition', take two of these every four hours and you'll be rejoining the rat race in a week. 1.3916 0.03860 263 180 63 20
338 Rare side effects may occur 1.3911 0.03813 248 166 67 15
339 It's all allergies, get rid of the cat. 1.3908 0.03917 261 180 60 21
340 Yes, the same cartoonist who drew my whiskers did also draw your hair, what about it? 1.3904 0.04027 251 174 56 21
341 yes, talking animals is a side effect 1.3900 0.03743 259 174 69 16
342 I learned early in my career that being in the lab is not for me. 1.3900 0.03900 259 178 61 20
343 I'm referring you to someone who specializes in hallucinations. 1.3900 0.03703 259 173 71 15
344 Don’t act like it’s worse than your other doctor’s handwriting. 1.3898 0.04163 236 164 52 20
345 I suggest you take this with cheese 1.3898 0.03873 254 173 63 18
346 You seem anxious? 1.3889 0.04014 252 175 56 21
347 Trust me, I'm the White House doctor. 1.3889 0.04206 252 180 46 26
348 There might be some side effects. 1.3889 0.03853 252 171 64 17
349 "And here's a physician-review website should you care to put in a good word or two about your appointment today." 1.3889 0.04009 234 159 59 16
350 I’m not too worried about the hallucinations, but I’m going to prescribe something for your thyroid. 1.3882 0.03940 255 176 59 20
351 It's called exophthalmos but almost everyone in this cartoonist's world has it. 1.3880 0.04075 250 175 53 22
352 It does have some unusual side effects, but it cured my cold immediately. 1.3880 0.04035 250 174 55 21
353 You can get this filled at the manhole cover outside the Port Authority Bus Terminal. 1.3880 0.04153 250 177 49 24
354 Relax, everything will be fine. I was part of the original test study." 1.3880 0.04035 250 174 55 21
355 If this doesn't kill you, nothing will. 1.3875 0.04111 240 167 53 20
356 Yes, i did try this prescription myself. Why do you ask? 1.3874 0.04001 253 176 56 21
357 Here, take this. I tested it myself. 1.3874 0.03881 253 173 62 18
358 Who knows better about how drugs work than lab rats? 1.3874 0.03921 253 174 60 18
359 Imagine how I feel at the veterinarian. 1.3874 0.03921 253 174 60 19
360 I know the bubonic plague when I see it. 1.3874 0.03881 253 173 62 18
361 I know. New York City, right? 1.3874 0.03800 253 171 66 16
362 Is my tie crooked? 1.3866 0.04004 238 163 58 17
363 Cheese, three times a day. Trust me. 1.3865 0.03942 251 173 59 19
364 I know you feel that life is just an endless treadmill. We all do. But these meds should help. 1.3865 0.03648 251 166 73 12
365 Don't worry, these pills only have one side effect. 1.3865 0.03901 251 172 61 18
366 It’s been approved for human testing.” 1.3865 0.04062 251 176 53 22
367 Again, sorry for biting you. This should clear it up. 1.3862 0.03740 246 164 69 13
368 Yeah, you look alarmed now but just wait till you get the hospital bill. 1.3855 0.03666 249 165 72 12
369 I know this medicine works, I was in the test group. 1.3855 0.03922 249 171 60 18
370 Don't worry about anything, the only things that really counts are the billing codes I enter. 1.3855 0.03922 249 171 60 18
371 This will help you find your way to your cubicle. 1.3855 0.03881 249 170 62 17
372 Now! Who's the expert on the Bubonic Plague here? 1.3855 0.04123 249 176 50 23
373 Here's a prescription. Take one a day, come back in two days and I'll look more like a fluffy bunny and we can go from there. 1.3855 0.03922 249 171 60 18
374 Well what did you expect? Johns Hopkins IS in Baltimore, after all. 1.3855 0.04004 249 173 56 20
375 I take it myself. You get used to the side effects. 1.3855 0.04004 249 173 56 20
376 This hasn’t been tested on humans yet, but we had great results with mice. 1.3855 0.03753 249 167 68 14
377 My father wanted me to follow his career path in the lab but I find clinical work so much more rewarding 1.3855 0.03881 249 170 62 17
378 It's a new drug. Let's see what happens. 1.3854 0.04443 205 143 45 17
379 Donald Trump’s physician..... Just another rat in the White House. 1.3846 0.04106 247 174 51 22
380 The bad news is you’ll instantly transform into a rat. The good news is your body will finally be able to digest all the garbage you eat. 1.3846 0.04094 234 162 54 18
381 I have no idea what’s wrong with you, but here’s a coupon for cheese. 1.3846 0.03901 247 169 61 17
382 Infested, infected...what's in a word? 1.3837 0.04129 245 171 50 21
383 I didn't picture myself the doctor-type either, till I couldn't get into law school. 1.3837 0.03879 245 167 62 16
384 Johns Hopkins. Why do ask? 1.3837 0.04129 245 173 50 22
385 Trust me, it was tested on me. 1.3837 0.04089 245 172 52 21
386 They tested this on me. After FDA approval the only way I could afford it was to become a doctor. 1.3836 0.04295 232 165 45 22
387 I know the ad said mole doctor but you need a dermatologist” 1.3836 0.04251 232 164 47 21
388 Tested on rats? Of course not, that would be unethical. 1.3830 0.04412 188 128 48 12
389 And here’s your prescription to treat your hallucinations. 1.3827 0.03943 243 167 59 17
390 Blood cravings, night runs, hunting in packs, howling, eating roadkill. Otherwise it's harmless. 1.3827 0.03943 243 167 59 17
391 Take this to the pharmacists at the end of the maze. 1.3827 0.04070 243 170 53 20
392 If I survived the clinical trial, I'm sure you'll be fine. 1.3827 0.03766 243 163 67 13
393 Take one every eight hours with a piece of cheese. 1.3822 0.03962 225 152 60 13
394 Take this prescription and if you still hallucinate you are seeing rats....get a cat. 1.3814 0.04021 236 163 56 17
395 This will stop the diarrhea. As for the rest of the shit, you’ll have to stop watching Fox News. 1.3811 0.04056 244 171 53 20
396 Trust me. It works! I don’t even recognize myself anymore. 1.3808 0.04073 239 167 53 19
397 There will be two of these waiting each time you successfully navigate the maze. 1.3805 0.04272 205 141 50 14
398 It's the tail, isn't it? 1.3802 0.03994 242 168 56 18
399 Sure, there are side effects. Do you want to feel better or don’t you? 1.3797 0.03871 237 161 62 14
400 Ha ha, no, I didn’t start out in the lab. 1.3797 0.04308 237 171 42 24
401 Two a day and you'll be back in the race in no time. 1.3797 0.04096 237 166 52 19
402 I specialize in infectious diseases. 1.3795 0.04309 224 159 45 20
403 You have warts, not moles. I know moles. 1.3787 0.03938 235 161 59 15
404 Try taking these daily for a week, then come see me again if the hallucinations continue. 1.3787 0.03938 235 161 59 15
405 Take two pills a day -- and if you feel like garbage, go ahead and eat some. 1.3787 0.03797 235 160 61 13
406 Oh fuck, I didn't turn into a big rat again, did I? 1.3787 0.04249 235 168 45 22
407 If you see anything unusual, just call me. 1.3782 0.03812 238 161 64 13
408 This should help your gnawing anxiety. 1.3782 0.04038 238 166 54 18
409 Getting FDA approval was an absolute maze, but it worked on me. 1.3782 0.04125 238 168 50 20
410 Take two of these and leave your garbage out tonight. 1.3782 0.03949 238 164 58 16
411 This prescription will help with your hallucinations. 1.3777 0.04143 233 164 50 19
412 Here's a little trick I found to combat nose hair. 1.3777 0.04098 233 163 52 18
413 Relax, it's the same stuff you use to kill us. 1.3777 0.04274 233 163 42 22
414 I used this myself and it was a game changer. 1.3777 0.04098 233 163 52 18
415 If the hallucinations continue, we'll up the dosage. 1.3777 0.03913 233 159 60 14
416 Of course any human doctor would be out of network. 1.3775 0.04448 204 144 43 17
417 Turns out the cheese was a red herring. The real prize at the end of the maze was personal growth. 1.3772 0.04252 228 162 46 20
418 The colonoscopy is for your protection. The CAT scan is for mine. 1.3771 0.04016 236 164 55 17
419 What do you mean, you can smell a rat? 1.3771 0.04016 236 164 55 17
420 Yeah, I was on them. No side effects. 1.3766 0.04211 231 164 47 20
421 These should cure your hallucinations. 1.3766 0.03886 231 159 58 14
422 Trust me, I've spent a lot of time in the lab. 1.3766 0.04029 231 160 55 16
423 Relax, I washed my hands. 1.3761 0.04243 218 153 48 17
424 In fact, I grew up in Baltimore. Why? 1.3755 0.04051 229 159 54 16
425 It's still an experimental drug, but trials on humans have been positive. 1.3755 0.03907 229 155 59 11
426 This one worked for 95% of my relatives. 1.3755 0.04191 229 162 48 19
427 Take two a day, and you'll be back in the rat-race before you know it! 1.3750 0.03968 232 160 57 15
428 Take 2 with whatever scraps you have in the garbage. 1.3744 0.03878 227 154 61 12
429 You can get this filled at the dumpster out back. 1.3744 0.04122 227 159 51 17
430 I'm not comfortable with the term "lab rat." Let's call you the guinea pig instead, shall we? 1.3744 0.03978 227 156 57 14
431 You should be careful who you're calling a rat. 1.3744 0.03878 227 154 61 12
432 Gnaw on two of these and call me in the morning. 1.3744 0.04122 227 159 51 17
433 This works,it's been tested on me. 1.3744 0.04169 227 160 49 18
434 This'll help you find your way through the maze. 1.3744 0.04122 227 159 51 17
435 Yes actually, I did take this medicine myself. Why do you ask? 1.3733 0.04049 225 156 54 15
436 Okay, no more of that 'you dirty rat' every time I give you your bill 1.3719 0.04406 199 140 44 15
437 Take one every six hours with cheese 1.3717 0.04225 226 161 46 19
438 Take one of these whenever you think you see an animal head on a human body. 1.3717 0.04178 226 160 48 18
439 These pills should help you see people as they really are. 1.3716 0.03926 218 148 59 11
440 Don't worry, it's perfectly safe for humans. 1.3710 0.03994 221 152 55 13
441 I understand your hesitation, but rats don't carry diseases. Trust me – I'm a doctor. 1.3710 0.04146 221 155 50 16
442 Lurk in your attic while nibbling these for a few days. 1.3705 0.04250 224 160 45 19
443 I accept cheese or check. 1.3705 0.04058 224 155 53 15
444 Side effects? Nothing to worry about. 1.3705 0.03958 224 154 57 13
445 Take two of these and . . . well, you'll see. 1.3705 0.04058 224 156 53 15
446 This is a new drug for your erectile dysfunction. There are some significant side effects but it is a personal choice. 1.3705 0.04107 224 157 51 16
447 We accept all forms of payment—Gorgonzola, cheddar, Muenster... 1.3705 0.04250 224 160 45 19
448 Hallucinations are a rare side effect. This prescription should help with them. 1.3705 0.04008 224 155 55 14
449 I used to make house calls, but it's a trap 1.3705 0.04203 224 159 47 18
450 Try a little gouda and swiss and call me in the morning. 1.3705 0.04058 224 156 53 15
451 Trust me. I’m with the government and I’m here to help. 1.3705 0.04480 224 165 35 24
452 It's just cheddar cheese. It won't help your symptoms but it's the only thing they let me prescribe now. 1.3705 0.04008 224 155 55 12
453 Listen. An online degree is just as good as a traditional university. 1.3705 0.04155 224 158 49 17
454 Well, I did say there would be some hallucinogenic side effects. 1.3705 0.04155 224 158 49 17
455 Walk two mazes and call me in the morning. 1.3705 0.03907 224 153 59 12
456 The side effects may include vivid hallucinations. 1.3702 0.03930 208 140 59 9
457 No humans were harmed during testing. 1.3702 0.03989 208 141 57 10
458 You can get this prescription filled at any pet shop. 1.3702 0.04215 208 145 49 14
459 Open this, I don't have a thumb. 1.3695 0.04228 203 141 49 13
460 And I know this is safe. I was involved in the tests. 1.3694 0.03980 222 153 56 13
461 My diagnosis is severe bias. We rats were here first. Here's a bus pass back to wherever you came from. 1.3687 0.04296 217 155 44 18
462 It’s an experimental drug. Personally tested by yours truly. 1.3682 0.03844 220 149 61 10
463 My cousin was in the drug trial and he says the side effects are minimal. 1.3682 0.04105 220 154 51 15
464 I always recommend getting rid of your cat as a first-line treatment 1.3671 0.04054 207 142 54 11
465 From personal experience I know there are few side-effects. 1.3670 0.04230 218 155 46 17
466 Hide two of these in a piece of cheese, and take before bed. 1.3670 0.04129 218 153 50 15
467 I can tell you from personal experience: this drug works. 1.3670 0.03972 218 150 56 12
468 If it's safe enough for a rat, it's safe enough for you. 1.3670 0.04129 218 153 50 15
469 Trust me. I've personally tested all the medications I prescribe 1.3670 0.04077 218 152 52 14
470 You know, lab tests on my relatives were very successful. 1.3670 0.03972 218 150 56 12
471 Why so leery? Is it because I'm "just" a physician's assistant? 1.3670 0.04329 218 157 42 19
472 It’s a good drug, I take it myself, only one side effect. 1.3670 0.04025 218 151 54 13
473 I wouldn’t prescribe for you anything they hadn’t first tested on me. 1.3670 0.04230 218 155 46 17
474 Why yes..I am from Baltimore. Why do you ask? 1.3670 0.04473 218 160 36 22
475 Take one a day. They're safe, I tested them on myself. 1.3670 0.04230 218 155 46 17
476 I find the comedic value of the side effects to be totally worth the risk of a malpractice lawsuit. 1.3670 0.04180 218 154 48 16
477 The only side effect that I ever heard of is hallucinations of mice and other vermin. Why do you ask? 1.3670 0.04129 218 153 50 15
478 Don't worry, I've tested this prescription. 1.3670 0.04180 218 154 48 16
479 Just take this and avoid the subway. You'll be fine. 1.3662 0.04194 213 150 48 15
480 You’ll own the night and have thousands of offspring. 1.3659 0.04251 205 144 47 14
481 Here's the referral. He'll be in sheep's clothing. 1.3654 0.04423 208 150 40 18
482 Tic Tac? 1.3654 0.04370 208 149 42 17
483 OK, we better lower your dosage. 1.3650 0.04144 200 138 51 11
484 Take this. Go through that door, turn right and then right again, then left and go to the end of that hall there's a round door and a square door. Don't go through the round door, go through the square one, SQUARE, got it? Ring the bell there and... 1.3648 0.04543 159 116 31 12
485 I’m filling in while the cat’s away. This is fun! Anyway, take whatever this says. 1.3645 0.04390 203 145 42 16
486 Experimental drugs have really come a long way. 1.3645 0.04554 203 148 36 19
487 Side effects may include dumpster feeding, maze running, and an allergy to cats. 1.3645 0.03907 214 146 58 10
488 Studies show this doesn't cause cancer in humans. 1.3645 0.04125 214 150 50 14
489 This should do the trick. I tested it myself. 1.3645 0.03962 214 147 56 11
490 Don't worry, it worked for me. 1.3645 0.03850 214 145 60 9
491 Take 1,000 times the normal dose daily for a year, then we'll dissect your brain. 1.3645 0.04531 214 158 34 22
492 It happens to a lot of men. Take this, and you'll be breeding like me in no time. 1.3636 0.04136 209 146 50 13
493 The pharamaceutical company assures me that it's completely safe. 1.3636 0.04300 209 149 44 16
494 Side effects include seeing Big Pharma for what it truly is. 1.3632 0.04360 212 153 41 17
495 This prescription is $400, but it's free if you get through the maze in three minutes. 1.3632 0.04096 212 148 51 13
496 Of course its legal !! I'm a doctor. 1.3632 0.04150 212 149 49 14
497 Call me if you start hallucinating. 1.3632 0.04246 201 141 47 13
498 Take two a day with food. Side effects include cravings for cheese, gnawing on wood, and snitching on others. 1.3632 0.04005 201 137 55 9
499 what'd you call me? 1.3632 0.04187 201 140 49 12
500 My card, for when you're ready for your nose job 1.3632 0.04419 201 144 41 16
501 This lower dose should stop the diarrhea, but you still may experience hallucinations. 1.3632 0.04584 201 147 35 19
502 Run three mazes a day and stay away from Gruyere. 1.3632 0.04362 201 143 43 15
503 I've personally tested 1000x the usual dose, with no side effects yet. 1.3623 0.04272 207 147 45 15
504 Yes, it's a possible side effect, but I've learned to live with it. 1.3623 0.04104 207 144 51 12
505 This should help with the dizziness, now tell me about the hallucinations. 1.3623 0.03869 207 140 59 8
506 Someone with your condition shouldn't be looking at me like I'm the weirdo 1.3623 0.04327 207 148 43 16
507 At least you don't have to wear a cone. 1.3621 0.04689 174 124 37 13
508 Trust me, you want the placebo. 1.3619 0.04175 210 148 48 14
509 Try going to a vet, it’s what I always do 1.3619 0.04283 210 150 44 16
510 Not to worry, it's been extensively tested on some of my relatives. 1.3619 0.04120 210 147 50 13
511 Let's try a lower dose. 1.3619 0.04120 210 147 50 13
512 Here's your refill. Let me know if you start having any hallucinations. 1.3619 0.04120 210 147 50 13
513 Don't worry; pharmacists can read anything. 1.3619 0.04120 210 147 50 13
514 I’ve worked my way up from lab rat to principal investigator. 1.3619 0.04008 210 147 50 12
515 My real dream was to play the rat king in The Nutcracker 1.3619 0.04283 210 150 44 16
516 Good news, bad news, John. The test results were good, no sign of bubonic plague. Unfortunately, though, your credit card's been declined." 1.3619 0.04120 210 147 50 13
517 I'm not saying I don't give a rat's ass... 1.3619 0.04229 210 149 46 15
518 It's experimental, but it worked for me. 1.3619 0.04175 210 148 48 14
519 Correct, that's one pill, twice a day, wrapped in a piece of cheese. 1.3619 0.04064 210 143 51 12
520 I wasn't always a doctor, but things evolved. 1.3592 0.03875 206 140 58 8
521 Here's the key to the bathroom. It's just at the end of the maze. 1.3592 0.04112 206 144 50 12
522 There are a few side effects. 1.3589 0.04184 209 148 47 14
523 Some call it "opioid crisis". I call it "Dr. Rat drives a Bentley". Ka-ching! 1.3578 0.04364 204 147 41 16
524 What do you mean, hallucinations ? No, actually, we have taken over. This is a prescription for the flu. 1.3578 0.04078 204 144 48 12
525 Make sure you eat something after you take it. I recommend old pizza crusts, banana peels or old cat food. 1.3578 0.04309 204 146 43 15
526 Not only did it improve my libido, but I have a new appreciation for Limburger. 1.3578 0.04019 204 141 53 10
527 This prescription will help. And of all the things you think you are seeing, I would never wear a green tie 1.3578 0.04019 204 141 53 10
528 I can vouch for this new medication. I was involved in some of the original trials. 1.3578 0.04019 204 141 53 10
529 These pills should cure your hallucinations. 1.3578 0.03897 204 139 57 8
530 I wouldn’t worry about it too much — and this will help with your hallucinations. 1.3578 0.04364 204 147 41 16
531 No, Greg! I won't tell your wife you caught an STD. What would make you think I'd rat you out? 1.3578 0.04419 204 148 39 17
532 As you can see, your snout is already coming in, but the fur will take a few more weeks. 1.3578 0.04195 204 144 47 13
533 Yeah, I tried being wolf in sheep's clothing for awhile, but a wolf in pharmaceutical clothing is just so much more lucrative. 1.3568 0.04497 199 145 37 17
534 I haven't experienced any side effects. Why do you ask? 1.3564 0.04103 202 141 50 11
535 It is safe, I have been using it for years! 1.3564 0.04162 202 142 48 12
536 Stay away from Dr. Katz 1.3564 0.04503 202 148 36 18
537 You'll need to take these once a day with trash. 1.3564 0.04503 202 148 36 18
538 you'll be part of a clinical trial before we allow use in the general rodent population. 1.3564 0.04042 202 140 52 10
539 Cigarette? 1.3564 0.03981 202 139 54 9
540 In clinical trials, this drug pushed rodent IQs to 150. It should straighten out your Republican brain. 1.3564 0.04503 202 148 36 18
541 We accept all forms of insurance. And Cheese. 1.3564 0.04336 202 145 42 15
542 Start taking these, and it wouldn't hurt to get rid of your cat. 1.3564 0.04336 202 145 42 15
543 Don't you worry. This prescription will get you back looking like your old self. 1.3564 0.04336 202 145 42 15
544 You can get this filled in Canada for chicken feed. 1.3564 0.04279 202 144 44 14
545 I don't care what you heard. Beatrix Potter University has an excellent medical school. 1.3564 0.04279 202 144 44 14
546 Take it twice a day and avoid cats. 1.3564 0.04279 202 144 44 14
547 Baltimore? No,the White House. 1.3553 0.04584 197 145 34 18
548 As you can see, Trump's healthcare plan is also a rat- and rodent-infested mess. 1.3550 0.04421 200 145 39 16
549 I’ll do the procedure on Friday. You’ll love your new face Mr. Daniels. 1.3547 0.04204 203 144 45 12
550 Some of us made it out of the subway. 1.3547 0.04318 203 146 42 15
551 Take this. It will help with the hallucinations. 1.3547 0.04145 203 143 48 12
552 If you have any other concerns about your mole, give me a call. 1.3545 0.04478 189 136 39 14
553 Take this to my brother in the lab. He'll test it for you. 1.3535 0.04214 198 140 46 12
554 Third door on the left. Get in the wheel and start running. 1.3532 0.04403 201 146 39 16
555 Consider me an expert in how diseases spread. 1.3532 0.04403 201 146 39 16
556 After I was caught stealing the pizza, I decided I needed a career change. 1.3532 0.04171 201 142 47 12
557 Take this cheese and call me in the morning. 1.3532 0.04288 201 144 43 14
558 Believe me, in a week you'll think I look like an angel. 1.3532 0.04110 201 141 49 11
559 I take it myself. Of course, there's a few side effects. 1.3532 0.04049 201 140 51 10
560 I'm sorry your insurance is out of our network. We take cash or cheese. 1.3532 0.03988 201 139 53 9
561 Tell ‘em The Lab Rat sent ya 1.3532 0.03988 201 139 53 9
562 Fair warning, there may be side effects. 1.3520 0.04362 196 141 41 14
563 I'm sorry, we don't accept Blue Cross and Blue Cheese. 1.3520 0.04115 196 137 49 10
564 Here; take two of these and watch out for the cat. 1.3520 0.03783 196 141 48 7
565 No, you can’t weasel out of the colonoscopy. 1.3520 0.04538 196 144 35 17
566 I normally don’t give a rats ass 1.3520 0.04538 196 144 35 17
567 Even though Dr. Campbell's tricks were flawless, Tom smelled a rat. 1.3520 0.04301 196 140 43 13
568 You can fill this on practically any corner, Baltimore is infested with pharmacies. 1.3520 0.04480 196 143 37 16
569 If I could promise you a spot in the control group, I would. 1.3520 0.04301 196 140 43 13
570 As a former test subject myself, I can assure you the side effects are minimal. 1.3520 0.04115 196 137 49 10
571 Three cubes of cheddar four times a day. Lay off the peanut butter. 1.3520 0.04051 196 136 51 9
572 These may cause you to hallucinate. 1.3520 0.04178 196 138 47 11
573 This will help your nose and whiskers grow back. 1.3520 0.04421 196 142 39 15
574 I’m accepting new patients. Post this somewhere in your basement. 1.3520 0.04421 196 142 39 15
575 Don’t worry, the side effects are minimal. I take it myself. 1.3520 0.04178 196 138 47 11
576 My friends at the lab recommend this medicine. 1.3520 0.04178 196 138 47 11
577 Feel free to get a second opinion, but when I diagnose you with the black plague, I kinda know what I'm talking about. 1.3518 0.04315 199 143 42 14
578 I've tested the medication myself. Why do you ask ? 1.3518 0.04374 199 144 40 15
579 Side effects? None that I'm aware of. 1.3518 0.04073 199 139 50 10
580 Try this. It's worked wonders for me with no noticeable side effects. 1.3518 0.04431 199 145 38 16
581 It’s highly recommended by the pharmaceutical rep. 1.3518 0.04256 199 142 44 13
582 I studied at Johns Hopkins in Baltimore, why do you ask? 1.3518 0.04135 199 140 48 11
583 It’s very safe. It was tested on guinea pigs. 1.3518 0.04256 199 142 44 13
584 It's perfectly safe. It's been tested on me. 1.3518 0.04011 199 138 52 9
585 Ask for “Ben”. 1.3505 0.04390 194 140 40 14
586 Swallow each pill whole - no nibbling. 1.3505 0.04390 194 140 40 14
587 It's perfectly safe; I use it myself." 1.3505 0.04140 194 136 48 10
588 This will help you to become a Trump supporter too. 1.3505 0.04451 194 141 38 15
589 Don't worry about side effects. I've been taking it for years. 1.3503 0.04222 197 140 45 12
590 Take these twice a day with some cheese. 1.3503 0.04222 197 140 44 11
591 Take this to the lab, and tell them you are my replacement. 1.3503 0.04283 197 141 43 13
592 Just a little something to help you cope with the rat race. 1.3503 0.04222 197 140 45 12
593 This should help with your hallucinations. 1.3503 0.04283 197 141 42 13
594 It’s very safe. It doesn’t cause cancer in rats. 1.3503 0.04518 197 145 35 17
595 I tried it on myself first, the side effects are minimal. 1.3503 0.04034 197 137 51 9
596 Here's your prescription. I have personal experience with it from my lab work. 1.3503 0.04098 197 138 49 10
597 Side effects, no, and I say that from personal experience. 1.3503 0.04402 197 143 39 15
598 Next time you think you smell a rat, take two of these. Works for me! 1.3503 0.04222 197 140 45 12
599 Take two slices of Cheddar and call me in the morning. 1.3503 0.04283 197 141 43 13
600 My lab results weren’t that great either. 1.3503 0.04098 197 138 49 10
601 Sure,Baltimore General strives to be reflective of the community,but I earned my degree like anyone else. 1.3503 0.04402 197 143 39 15
602 You may look weird but you won’t die. 1.3490 0.04230 192 136 45 11
603 Just be thankful that I am in network. 1.3490 0.04357 192 138 41 13
604 This prescription should exterminate the condition. 1.3490 0.04481 192 140 37 15
605 Don't worry, I have a doctor rat degree. 1.3487 0.04122 195 137 48 10
606 I'm on it too. There's only one side effect. 1.3476 0.04499 187 136 37 14
607 This is a prescription for fear, I can smell it on you. 1.3476 0.04499 187 136 37 14
608 I absolutely agree that you need major work on your chinny-chin-chin. 1.3476 0.04499 187 136 37 14
609 Here’s the prescription for those ridiculous hallucinations. 1.3474 0.04191 190 134 46 10
610 Yes, there may be unwanted side-effects. 1.3474 0.04322 190 136 42 12
611 What's wrong? You look like there's something wrong. 1.3474 0.04449 190 138 38 14
612 Sure, I'll get you the pills, but don't rat me out. 1.3474 0.04322 190 135 42 12
613 It's not bubonic plague. I would know. 1.3474 0.04386 190 137 40 13
614 You've just got to ask yourself: Are you a mouse or are you a man? 1.3474 0.04449 190 138 38 14
615 I'd lay off the hallucinogens. 1.3457 0.04350 188 135 40 12
616 Perhaps try taking your LSD micro-dose every other day, Mr. Kaplan. 1.3457 0.04415 188 136 39 13
617 Sorry you don't like the care, sir, but here at Johns Hopkins we are all in Elijah Cummings' rat-infested district. 1.3457 0.04479 188 137 37 14
618 Sure, that's one side effect. But you'll be great at mazes. 1.3457 0.04217 188 133 45 10
619 As you can see, the early clinical trials have produced some extraordinary results. 1.3457 0.04080 188 131 49 8
620 It hasn't been tested on humans yet but it worked great for me. 1.3457 0.04149 188 132 47 9
621 I think we’re ready to move on to human trials. 1.3457 0.04284 188 134 43 11
622 I have family in R&D. 1.3457 0.04217 188 133 45 10
623 We are bound by doctor-patient confidentiality. What do I look like? 1.3457 0.04217 188 133 45 10
624 Yes, quite right, I might indeed be a six foot lab rat. Or perhaps you really ought to take this prescription. 1.3457 0.04350 188 135 41 12
625 Side effects? No, no side effects since I've been on it. Why do you ask? 1.3457 0.04284 188 134 43 11
626 Don’t be ridiculous. I’m a squirrel. 1.3455 0.04367 191 138 40 13
627 It’s been successfully tested on lab people. 1.3441 0.04312 186 132 42 11
628 Go ahead. It's been proven safe on laboratory humans. 1.3441 0.04175 186 131 46 9
629 And here's something special for your cat. 1.3441 0.04379 186 134 40 12
630 It’s an experimental drug, but we’re confident there are no side effects. 1.3441 0.04175 186 131 46 9
631 You’ve been testing meds on us for years, now it’s your turn. 1.3441 0.04175 186 131 46 9
632 Yes, I live in Elijah Cummings's district. Why do you ask? 1.3441 0.04699 186 139 30 17
633 Reassignment surgery went great for me. 1.3441 0.04445 186 135 38 13
634 Yes sir. I am a doctor. And a rat. 1.3441 0.04244 186 132 44 10
635 You’re in good hands. Before med school I was a rodent scholar. 1.3441 0.04312 186 133 42 11
636 I assure you these are perfectly safe. I take them myself. But there is one unusual side effect I've noticed..... 1.3441 0.04244 186 132 44 10
637 Just a few lab tests...no need to worry. 1.3441 0.04244 186 132 44 10
638 I swear by it... the only side effect is some minor shedding 1.3425 0.04024 181 125 50 6
639 As White House physician, I have to prescribe these to all staff. 1.3425 0.04726 181 135 30 16
640 You'll find, trust me, that your maze solution times improve dramatically. 1.3425 0.04458 181 131 38 12
641 Look at me, the side effects are minimal 1.3425 0.04389 181 130 40 11
642 Don’t act so surprised, us rats know all about diseases. 1.3425 0.04319 181 129 42 10
643 I personally tested this prescription while running a maze at Harvard med school. 1.3425 0.04319 181 129 42 10
644 Through that door, along the maze to find your reward. 1.3425 0.04458 181 139 28 14
645 I've tried it myself. 1.3425 0.04319 181 129 42 10
646 Take two of these and call me if your hallucinations continue. 1.3425 0.04594 181 133 34 14
647 Why yes, I am from Baltimore! 1.3425 0.04389 181 130 40 11
648 The pharmacy is down the sewer to your left 1.3425 0.04389 181 130 40 11
649 It is experimental, but I'm on it myself. 1.3425 0.04527 181 132 36 13
650 Not to worry. Rats tested it. A rat can prescribe it. 1.3425 0.04458 181 131 38 12
651 Try these--I find them helpful when I'm feeling trapped or at a dead end. 1.3425 0.04389 181 130 40 11
652 They work well. I was on the testing committee. 1.3425 0.04174 181 127 46 8
653 Surgery went well. Lick the spot all day for a few days. You should feel the urge to hump your neighbor’s leg disappear right away. 1.3425 0.04527 181 132 36 13
654 Have you ever been a subject of medical research ? 1.3425 0.04319 181 129 42 10
655 Remember to take this with cheese. 1.3424 0.04201 184 130 45 9
656 Facial reconstruction is my specialty" 1.3424 0.04541 184 135 35 14
657 Where did you say you did yor rodency, I mean residency. 1.3424 0.04408 184 133 39 12
658 Focus on my degrees not my whiskers. 1.3424 0.04340 184 132 41 11
659 This will only take away the rats that aren't real. 1.3424 0.04340 184 132 41 11
660 Using the term experiment doesn't seem quite appropriate now, does it? 1.3422 0.04293 187 134 42 11
661 I’m referring you to a specialist. He works at 14th street station. 1.3419 0.05050 155 115 27 13
662 Gnaw on these as needed, and spend more time on the exercise wheel. 1.3408 0.04347 179 128 41 10
663 The pills will go down easier if you hide them in some cheese. 1.3408 0.04347 179 128 41 10
664 This one is very safe and effective. No side effects. I actually take it myself. 1.3408 0.04125 179 125 47 7
665 I must caution you. The side effects are quite pointed. 1.3408 0.04559 179 131 35 13
666 it's for delusional thinking. Take two every day or until you stop seeing rodents everywhere. 1.3408 0.04347 179 128 41 10
667 Me, I grew up in Baltimore....Why? 1.3408 0.04826 179 135 27 17
668 This one should end the hallucinations. You'll no longer see yourself as a hairless ape. 1.3408 0.04419 179 129 39 11
669 It’s new but I’ve taken it myself. 1.3408 0.04489 179 130 37 12
670 Don't worry, I was personally involved in the medical trials. 1.3408 0.04489 179 130 37 12
671 This will help with the hallucinations, but in the meantime, try to get some sleep. 1.3408 0.04347 179 128 41 10
672 I’ve been taking these for years with absolutely no side effects. 1.3408 0.04694 179 133 31 15
673 Take two and find me in your trash in the morning. 1.3408 0.04891 179 136 25 18
674 That stuff you use to poison us? For you it’s a blood thinner. 1.3408 0.04489 179 130 37 12
675 I know it sounds cheesy, but it works! 1.3408 0.04200 179 126 45 8
676 I assure you there are no side effects. 1.3408 0.04489 179 130 37 12
677 Your lucky,I've been taking this same medication for years with no side effects ! 1.3408 0.04419 179 127 39 11
678 This stuff works, my uncle was involved with the trials. 1.3408 0.04489 179 130 37 12
679 Yes I starred in "Ratatouille." Then, I went to med school. Too competitive to be a chef in Paris. 1.3407 0.04299 182 130 42 10
680 I know you'll miss Dr. Grant, but the hospital insisted on diversity in the staff 1.3393 0.04533 168 121 37 10
681 I know it's safe. It's been tested on 500 of my relatives. 1.3390 0.04376 177 127 40 10
682 I tested it on myself. 1.3390 0.04449 177 128 38 11
683 I know this prescription will work ; it was tested on me in the lab. 1.3390 0.04591 177 130 34 13
684 Side effects? 1.3390 0.04449 177 128 38 11
685 Take it twice a day with food scraps. 1.3390 0.04302 177 126 42 9
686 What do you mean I’m making a pest of myself. 1.3390 0.04729 177 132 30 15
687 This will ease your pain. But your intense cravings for cheese may skyrocket. 1.3390 0.04521 177 129 36 12
688 It’s for your cat. 1.3390 0.04376 177 127 40 10
689 Two wedges twice a day with some crackers and a frisky Merlot. 1.3390 0.04660 177 131 32 14
690 What's the matter, haven't you seen a doctor with a moustache before? 1.3390 0.04521 177 129 36 12
691 Actually, trained rats require less malpractice insurance. 1.3390 0.04521 177 129 36 12
692 It's experimental. But I tested it on myself. 1.3390 0.04521 177 129 36 12
693 You know, I got my start in a lab, but the clinical studies weren't my thing 1.3390 0.04376 177 127 40 10
694 You’re fine. This is my favorite cheese fondue recipe. 1.3390 0.04227 177 125 44 8
695 All right, here's a new prescription for you until the hallucinations stop. 1.3389 0.04605 180 133 33 14
696 You'll be in the same trial as my brother. 1.3389 0.04030 180 125 49 6
697 My friends the Sacklers tell me this isn't addictive at all. 1.3373 0.05095 166 127 22 17
698 There's nothing wrong with you sir, you just licked the wrong stamps. 1.3371 0.04331 175 125 41 9
699 You did right coming to me for a second opinion. Dr Katz is an idiot. 1.3371 0.04406 175 126 39 10
700 Don't worry, it's not a prescription. It's a fondue recipe. Cheese always seems to enhance mood levels. 1.3371 0.04331 175 125 41 9
701 I can tell you're not sure about having a mouse as a doctor, but rest assured; I graduated top of my class at Harvarti University. 1.3371 0.04480 175 127 37 11
702 Yes, I'm from Baltimore. 1.3371 0.04499 178 130 36 12
703 Don't worry, I got my degree in Baltimore. 1.3371 0.04569 178 131 34 13
704 How do you feel about experimental treatments? 1.3357 0.05327 140 105 23 12
705 I won't tell anyone about your opioid addiction--I'm not that kind of rat. 1.3352 0.04531 176 129 35 12
706 Don't worry, it's completely safe. I tested it on my family. 1.3352 0.04458 176 128 37 11
707 I'm not really a rat, but I play one on television. 1.3352 0.04385 176 127 39 10
708 Run two mazes and call me in the morning. 1.3333 0.04667 156 113 34 9
709 You should probably get a rabies shot. 1.3333 0.04147 171 120 45 6
710 Turns out it does cure cancer, but also turns everyone into a rat. Now do you want it or not? 1.3333 0.04467 171 124 37 10
711 Take two of these daily and for God sake stay away from any tempting peanut butter or cheese resting on a little piece of wood. 1.3333 0.04837 171 129 27 15
712 'Take two of these and enter the Caption Contest in the morning'. 1.3333 0.04389 171 122 39 9
713 This should help with the hallucinations, but I also recommend bumping up to three pounds of cheese a day. 1.3333 0.04415 174 126 38 10
714 I can assure you it was thoroughly tested. I was personally involved in the clinical trials. 1.3333 0.04147 171 120 45 6
715 Red Riding Hood didn’t believe me either. 1.3333 0.04692 171 127 31 13
716 I'd like to try a little experiment. 1.3333 0.04389 171 123 39 9
717 You guessed it, not everything that happens in Las Vegas stays in Las Vegas. 1.3333 0.04618 171 126 33 12
718 Don’t worry. Just think of it as a dose of your own medicine. 1.3333 0.04389 171 123 39 9
719 Would you like to participate in a very early stage clinical drug trial? You’d be the first human. 1.3333 0.04310 171 122 41 8
720 We'll start you out with six weeks of some mild cheddar and possibly work up to a more pungent Roquefort. 1.3333 0.04765 171 128 29 14
721 I'd also recommend a spinning wheel, for exercise. 1.3333 0.04389 171 123 39 9
722 I recommend a paleo diet. 1.3333 0.04183 174 123 44 7
723 So you say your hallucinations are getting worse Mr Smith? 1.3333 0.04389 171 123 39 9
724 Sure it worked I tested it myself. 1.3333 0.04489 174 127 36 11
725 I was part of the control group but this worked for my cousin Mickey 1.3333 0.04618 171 126 33 12
726 Of course I write prescriptions. I'm a DOCTOR rat, not a lab rat. 1.3333 0.04618 171 126 33 12
727 I think you'll enjoy this pill. It has just a hint of Roquefort. 1.3333 0.04389 171 123 39 9
728 Good luck finding the pharmacy, this office is a maze. 1.3333 0.05006 132 95 30 7
729 Or we put you in a cage and administer small electric shocks.” 1.3314 0.04521 172 126 35 11
730 This will help you cope with the rat race – it did wonders for me. 1.3314 0.04289 172 123 41 8
731 I’d like to see a chicken write this legibly. 1.3314 0.04498 169 123 36 10
732 I wanted to be a chef but my parents told me to be practical. 1.3314 0.04727 169 126 30 13
733 Sure it's safe, in fact I use it myself. 1.3314 0.04419 169 122 38 9
734 This should insure that you won’t keep seeing giant rats everywhere. 1.3314 0.04652 169 125 32 12
735 Hide them in your food and you probably won't notice. 1.3314 0.04257 169 120 42 7
736 Now, I insist that all my new patients get vaccinated for the plague. 1.3314 0.04498 169 123 36 10
737 It takes one to know one. Take two of these and don't come back. 1.3314 0.04257 169 120 42 7
738 These have no side effects but don't wolf them down. 1.3314 0.04652 169 125 32 12
739 The pills you're taking have no known side effects. Why do you ask? 1.3295 0.04499 173 127 35 11
740 No one likes the pellets. 1.3293 0.04609 167 123 33 11
741 Eat more garbage. 1.3293 0.04368 167 120 39 8
742 Yes, our experiments with gene splicing rats and humans is going very well, thank you. Why do you ask? 1.3293 0.04530 167 122 35 10
743 I can guarantee it doesn't contain rat poison. 1.3293 0.04284 167 119 41 7
744 My residency? Baltimore. Why do you ask? 1.3293 0.04609 167 123 33 11
745 For Pete’s sake. All we did was cut out the middle man! 1.3293 0.04686 167 124 31 12
746 Don't worry,it's vegan. 1.3293 0.04530 167 122 35 10
747 Johns Hopkins. Where did you get your degree? 1.3293 0.04686 167 124 31 12
748 This is my bill. I accept Visa, Mastercard, and Cheddar! 1.3293 0.04450 167 121 37 9
749 You completed the maze, here is your prescription for cheese. 1.3293 0.04368 167 120 39 8
750 Watch out for the traps on your way out. 1.3293 0.04199 167 120 40 7
751 Given how you're looking at me, my guess is you've already tried some of these. 1.3293 0.04450 167 121 37 9
752 It’s okay. It was tested on me and look where I wound up. 1.3293 0.04530 167 122 35 10
753 Are you still doing your mazes? 1.3293 0.04368 167 120 39 8
754 Breath mint? 1.3291 0.04789 158 117 30 11
755 Do you ever experience hallucinations? 1.3291 0.04704 158 116 32 10
756 Try this. I tested it myself. 1.3286 0.05114 140 104 26 10
757 Ignore the fact that I’m a rat and ask yourself this. Who has more medical experience: WebMD or a rodent with lots of pain pill scrips. 1.3286 0.04694 140 100 34 6
758 You look terrible. Get this filled right away!! 1.3274 0.04427 168 122 37 9
759 There's nothing wrong with you that a little rat poison won't cure. 1.3273 0.04481 165 120 36 9
760 You might get cravings for discarded pizza . This is quite normal. 1.3273 0.04226 165 117 42 6
761 I barely squeaked through Veterinary School. 1.3273 0.04481 165 120 36 9
762 I'm going to send you to the lab. Head out this door, then take a right, then a left, another left, left, straight, right, left, right, right, left, then a right. 1.3273 0.04562 165 121 34 10
763 My last place was just a hole in the wall. 1.3273 0.04226 165 117 42 6
764 Well, look what it did for me. 1.3273 0.04481 165 120 36 9
765 Take this to the pharmacy down the hall. Turn right, then left. Dead end. Double back, and it's around the corner to the left. 1.3273 0.04643 165 122 32 11
766 Take my word: the clinical trials went fabulously well. 1.3273 0.04481 165 120 36 9
767 This should help with those hallucinations. 1.3273 0.04481 165 120 36 9
768 You said everyone looks like a rodent? This should help– side effects include seeing the world as it is. 1.3273 0.04876 165 125 26 14
769 Don’t worry. These tests at the laboratory where I was trained. 1.3273 0.04643 165 122 32 11
770 Any side effects? 1.3273 0.04481 165 120 36 9
771 That’s Doctor Rat to you!! 1.3273 0.04397 165 119 38 8
772 I reviewed the literature on this drug and hallucinations are not a side effect. 1.3252 0.04677 163 121 31 11
773 No need to worry, I tested it on my own family. 1.3252 0.04428 163 118 37 8
774 Look, I'm a real doctor. My credentials are on the wall. The one with two medals is for getting through Harvard's toughest maze, eh, course...I mean course. 1.3252 0.04428 163 118 37 8
775 My friends at the lab should be able to get you what you need. 1.3252 0.04596 163 118 31 10
776 Whaddya mean, "It's a trap"? Go on...take it! 1.3252 0.04596 163 120 33 10
777 This is your bonus and I don't give a rats ass how you feel about it. 1.3252 0.04914 163 124 25 14
778 Should be safe... we even tested it on ourselves. 1.3252 0.04071 163 114 45 4
779 It's an off-label usage, but it worked for me 1.3252 0.04253 163 116 41 6
780 It'll work. I tested it on my family. 1.3252 0.04677 163 121 31 11
781 We have exactly the same eyes. 1.3252 0.04596 163 120 33 10
782 Let’s worry about the diseases you’re carrying. 1.3252 0.04758 163 122 29 12
783 Side effects may include seeing souls' true nature. 1.3252 0.04428 163 118 37 8
784 Will this cure your hallucinations? Yes. Will this remove the sight of all those rat-bastards in government? No. 1.3252 0.04512 163 119 35 9
785 Trust me! I didn't figure out how to get through the maze, and work my way through medical school, without learning a thing or two. 1.3252 0.04677 163 121 31 11
786 It reduces the gap between your paranoia and reality. 1.3252 0.04596 163 120 33 10
787 I'm sorry. We haven't made it to human testing yet... 1.3252 0.04512 163 119 34 9
788 I did my undergrad infestation at NYU and then went to Columbia. 1.3252 0.04071 163 114 45 4
789 Look, if there's one thing we rats know about, it's reproduction. Take 2 of these daily and your wife will be pregnant in no time. 1.3252 0.04596 163 120 33 10
790 This should help with the pain, inflammation and giant rat hallucinations. 1.3252 0.04428 163 118 37 8
791 Take these medications for the diseases I just transmitted to you. 1.3252 0.04512 163 119 35 9
792 No, hallucinations are not a side effect of the medication you're on. Why do you ask? 1.3252 0.04836 163 123 27 13
793 This prescription should ease your fears about nose hair. 1.3252 0.04341 163 117 39 7
794 Take this and you won't give a rat's ass about your problems. 1.3252 0.04758 163 122 29 12
795 We avoid using the term “lab rat.” We’d prefer to think of you as a “guinea pig.” 1.3252 0.04512 163 119 35 9
796 It's tough on the stomach, but are you a mouse or a man? 1.3252 0.04512 163 119 35 9
797 You may be in the placebo group. 1.3250 0.04393 160 115 38 7
798 Trust me, I tested this medication myself! 1.3250 0.04654 160 118 32 10
799 Try medical parmigiana - works for me. 1.3247 0.04503 154 111 36 7
800 Trust me. 1.3232 0.04489 164 120 35 9
801 What? I got my license on line. 1.3230 0.04458 161 117 36 8
802 Just in case you come across a difficult maze. 1.3230 0.04545 161 118 34 9
803 If they can't read my handwriting, tell them your doctor is a rat. They'll know what that means. 1.3230 0.04545 161 118 34 9
804 I've taken this prescription myself. 1.3230 0.04371 161 116 38 7
805 ...Why yes! - As you can see I am a Fox University's graduate 1.3230 0.05031 161 124 22 15
806 I know this looks like chicken scratch. Thankfully, our pharmacist is an actual chicken. 1.3230 0.04281 161 115 40 6
807 We provide exceptional care at Johns Hopkins. Here in Baltimore, a rat and rodent-infested place, we want to place that characterization in a positive light. 1.3230 0.04545 161 118 34 9
808 These pills are still in trials, but I've tried them and they're a-mazing! 1.3230 0.04794 161 121 28 12
809 I don't make mouse calls. 1.3230 0.04629 161 119 32 10
810 It wasn't perfected when I took it, but I promise you -- this'll put that ol' eyeball right back in your head. 1.3230 0.04545 161 118 34 9
811 You say rat infestation like it's a bad thing. 1.3230 0.04371 161 116 38 7
812 These pills are fine. I've been taking them for years, and there's nothing wrong with me. 1.3230 0.04712 161 120 30 11
813 Eat more cheese and get rid of that cat. 1.3230 0.04629 161 119 32 10
814 I recognize that abandon ship look. 1.3230 0.04712 161 120 30 11
815 When you hear this click, you will bring me cheese. 1.3230 0.04629 161 119 32 10
816 I swear, the only lasting side effect is a compulsion to move to Baltimore. 1.3230 0.04874 161 122 26 13
817 The side effects are mild. I’ve taken it myself. 1.3230 0.04712 161 120 30 11
818 We'll need some bloodwork. Take 2 lefts,a right,a left,and 2 more rights until you see the sign for the lab. 1.3230 0.04189 161 119 35 7
819 If you develop the sudden urge to scavenge or squeak, give me a call. 1.3230 0.04712 161 120 30 11
820 This showed great promise in the lab . 1.3230 0.04281 161 115 40 6
821 I’ll be honest, you have some serious trust issues. 1.3230 0.04545 161 118 34 9
822 Have someone hold your mouth shut until you swallow. 1.3230 0.04458 161 116 36 8
823 Take two of these with cheese and call me in the morning 1.3230 0.04629 161 119 32 10
824 Medicare for all 1.3230 0.04794 161 121 28 12
825 Nibble two times a day, with or without cheese. 1.3230 0.04545 161 118 34 9
826 Trust me, I trained in some of the top mazes in the country. 1.3230 0.04281 161 115 40 6
827 If you’re interested in a lab testing gig, let me know. 1.3230 0.04371 161 116 38 7
828 If this doesn’t work, I’m sending you for a Cat scan. 1.3230 0.04281 161 115 40 6
829 I used the Canadian spelling, it will be more convenient. 1.3230 0.04712 161 120 30 11
830 You’ll want to be sure to take this with a bite of garbage. 1.3230 0.04545 161 118 34 9
831 You’ll need to see a Snake for that. 1.3230 0.04281 161 115 40 6
832 I'm sorry if the subject of rat erections makes you uncomfortable. But how do you think these drugs were approved? 1.3230 0.04712 161 120 30 11
833 Of course it’s safe. I tested it myself. 1.3230 0.04458 161 117 36 8
834 This will help, but nose hair is a side effect. 1.3230 0.04874 161 121 26 13
835 Take one of these a day with cheese, and a little time on the exercise wheel wouldn't hurt either. 1.3230 0.04371 161 116 38 7
836 "Prepare to be a-mazed" 1.3230 0.04371 161 116 38 7
837 Now to get back to reception it’s three rights, left, right, right, left. 1.3230 0.04794 161 121 28 12
838 They’re safe, I was part of the test when I was a resident. 1.3230 0.04629 161 119 32 10
839 Take 2 a day with cheese and you'll be back to normal in a few days. 1.3230 0.04545 161 118 34 9
840 What makes you think I’m working for the pharma companies? 1.3230 0.04874 161 122 26 13
841 Squeak, squeak.....Squeak, squeak....Squeak? 1.3228 0.04514 158 115 35 8
842 Consider it payback. 1.3228 0.04858 158 119 27 12
843 Take this and call me in a week if you still smell a rat. 1.3228 0.04043 158 110 45 3
844 It's not FDA approved yet, but it works well for me. 1.3214 0.05096 140 105 25 10
845 Calling me "Rat Bastard" won't get you extra refills. 1.3210 0.04521 162 119 34 9
846 Where did you say your Grandmother lived? 1.3188 0.04723 160 120 29 11
847 No-- never been to Baltimore. Why? 1.3188 0.04723 160 120 29 11
848 In phase one studies with this drug, most humans did survive. 1.3188 0.04805 160 121 27 12
849 Some of us get out of the maze. 1.3188 0.04466 160 117 35 8
850 You have nothing to worry about. My friends and I have been taking this drug for months. 1.3188 0.04723 160 120 29 11
851 Trust me, I tested this myself, I'm sure it's ready for human trials 1.3188 0.04287 160 115 39 6
852 ''If it hasn't cleared up in a few days come back and we'll start sniffing around for clues.' 1.3188 0.04639 160 119 31 10
853 The good news is,you didn't have rabies BEFORE you came in. 1.3185 0.04699 157 117 30 10
854 You can always get a human opinion. 1.3182 0.04486 154 112 35 7
855 What side effects? 1.3182 0.04486 154 112 35 7
856 No, generic cheese is fine. 1.3182 0.04579 154 113 33 8
857 Don’t worry, I’ve been taking these for years with no side effects at all. 1.3165 0.04498 158 116 34 8
858 The only side effect is that sometimes you just don't feel like yourself. 1.3165 0.04407 158 115 36 7
859 Don't believe the orange guy, we do good work here in Baltimore. 1.3165 0.04498 158 116 34 8
860 Take this to the pharmacy across the room, it's a hole in the wall but it's a good place. 1.3165 0.04123 158 112 42 4
861 Here's my card. If you have any more hallucinations, call me. 1.3165 0.04498 158 116 34 8
862 in queso emergency call 911 1.3165 0.04759 158 119 28 11
863 The Rat Race is a marathon, not a sprint. 1.3165 0.04673 158 118 30 10
864 Here, this new prescription won't have vivid hallucinations as a possible side effect 1.3165 0.04315 158 114 38 6
865 I'm telling you, no side effects 1.3165 0.04586 158 117 32 9
866 Though, it's been shown to cause cancer in laboratory people. 1.3161 0.04735 155 116 29 10
867 Take two slices of cheese and call me in the morning. 1.3161 0.04645 155 115 31 9
868 Insurance requires a trial of Swiss and cheddar before they'll cover Brie. 1.3161 0.04554 155 114 33 8
869 Now... what makes you think I would betray your trust. 1.3161 0.04554 155 114 33 8
870 Trust me, 200 of my siblings and I tested this drug ourselves. 1.3161 0.04645 155 115 31 9
871 Actually, its pro-anxiety. 1.3161 0.04735 155 116 29 10
872 There is no proof that the bubonic plague causes autism. 1.3161 0.04993 155 119 23 13
873 I can personally vouch for this. It was tested on three of my brothers. 1.3161 0.04645 155 115 31 9
874 Animals go to human doctors, so... 1.3161 0.04735 155 116 28 10
875 This will treat what plagues you. 1.3158 0.04613 152 112 32 8
876 Baltimore? Actually I’m from D.C. 1.3141 0.04709 156 117 29 10
877 I'm a stable genius, OK? 1.3141 0.04881 156 119 25 12
878 The charge is an arm and a leg. Where do I to start? 1.3141 0.04437 156 114 35 7
879 There'll be cheese at the end, but you should bring your own wine. 1.3141 0.04709 156 117 29 10
880 Sorry, your application was rejected. We never use humans in our clinical trials. 1.3137 0.04587 153 113 32 8
881 You can get this prescription filled at any Chuck-E-Cheese. 1.3137 0.04493 153 112 34 7
882 Take this if those weird visions come back. 1.3137 0.04680 153 114 30 9
883 Sorry I bit you. Get this filled and you should be okay. 1.3137 0.04493 153 112 34 7
884 Take this to a pharmacy in Baltimore. Tell them I sent you. 1.3137 0.04771 153 115 28 10
885 One mammal's Coumadin is another mammal's poison. 1.3137 0.04861 153 116 26 11
886 Yes there were a few anomalies in the preclinical animal studies, but we don’t think they were statistically significant 1.3137 0.04196 153 109 40 4
887 Don't worry, I use this myself. 1.3133 0.04349 150 108 37 5
888 I tested this one on myself. 1.3133 0.04928 150 114 25 11
889 Why are you so surprised? I won the rat race. 1.3133 0.04743 150 112 29 9
890 Side effects? Don't worry--I've been taking these myself for years. 1.3133 0.04743 150 112 29 9
891 Qualifications? Do you have any idea the number of mazes I've had to run through to get here? 1.3133 0.04836 150 113 27 10
892 You're lucky to still be covered. 1.3133 0.04451 150 109 35 6
893 I lab tested it myself. 1.3133 0.04349 150 108 37 5
894 It seems the rat-race is causing your stress. 1.3133 0.04647 150 110 31 8
895 I've personally tested all the medications I prescribe. 1.3133 0.04349 150 108 37 5
896 Gnaw on these twice before bed. 1.3133 0.04550 150 110 33 7
897 Trust me, it worked well on rats. 1.3133 0.04245 150 107 39 4
898 I'm referring you to my colleague Dr. Doolittle. 1.3133 0.04743 150 112 29 9
899 Take this order to our staff and they will schedule your maze test. 1.3133 0.04836 150 113 27 10
900 I'm not allowed in the drug store to pick up my own prescriptions... do you mind? 1.3133 0.04349 150 108 37 5
901 I can assure you this medicine is safe - I have taken it myself 1.3133 0.04647 150 111 31 8
902 My ancestors used to eat you but now we just make money off of you 1.3133 0.04743 150 112 29 9
903 This will put hair on your chest, and everywhere else! 1.3133 0.04550 150 110 33 7
904 You look surprised! 1.3133 0.04743 150 112 29 9
905 Relax, Ron. They tested it on me first. 1.3133 0.04836 150 113 27 10
906 I usually don't make personal recommendations, but this prescription really does improve cognitive ability. 1.3133 0.04743 150 112 29 9
907 Sigh...one minute you’re teaching martial arts to mutant turtles, the next you’re proliferating the opioid crisis. 1.3133 0.04836 150 113 27 10
908 You come to a doctor who looks like a rat, and you're surprised I prescribe cheese? 1.3133 0.04743 150 112 29 9
909 Seeing things? What kind of things? 1.3133 0.04743 150 112 29 9
910 No, there are no side effects; I take it myself. 1.3133 0.04550 150 110 33 7
911 Try Viagra.Works great. I've had sex with 84 partners since Tuesday. 1.3133 0.04550 150 110 33 7
912 There's no escaping the rat race for me. 1.3133 0.04836 150 113 27 10
913 I know what I’m talking about, I literally grew up in a lab. 1.3133 0.04743 150 112 29 9
914 Relax, it's not like rat poison or anything. 1.3133 0.04550 150 110 33 7
915 Take two in the morning and let me know if you can still see me. 1.3133 0.04647 150 111 31 8
916 Take two a day until the nose grows in. The hair, whiskers, and ears will follow. 1.3133 0.04647 150 111 31 8
917 The experiment went so well I became one of them. 1.3133 0.04349 150 108 37 5
918 Nibble one a night as you creep along the baseboard. I guarantee you’ll be transformed. 1.3133 0.04647 150 111 31 8
919 They're perfectly safe--I take them myself. 1.3133 0.04836 150 113 27 10
920 This prescription helped me. It'll make a different person out of you. 1.3117 0.04654 154 115 30 9
921 Yes! You should take these! You think you’re talking to a giant rat! 1.3117 0.05090 154 120 20 14
922 I need you to sign this. I don't have thumbs. 1.3116 0.05325 138 107 19 12
923 This should help with your fear of rats. 1.3113 0.04525 151 111 33 7
924 This should help fuel positive feelings about living in Baltimore. 1.3113 0.04716 151 113 29 9
925 Don’t worry, I’ve tested it myself. 1.3108 0.04583 148 109 32 7
926 For the gnawing. 1.3108 0.04968 148 113 24 11
927 Don't worry. I tested it myself. 1.3108 0.04583 148 109 32 7
928 Here's your parking pass. You now have 5 minutes to find your car.... 1.3108 0.04683 148 110 30 8
929 I am not part of the rat race that has created your anxiety. 1.3108 0.04683 148 110 30 8
930 Here's your stipend for volunteering. We like to test new procedures on patients before we try them on mice. 1.3108 0.04482 148 114 26 8
931 Turns out you were in the placebo group. But look on the bright side, you got 20 bucks! 1.3108 0.04875 148 112 26 10
932 No it’s not addictive. In fact I own shares in the company. 1.3108 0.04780 148 111 28 9
933 Who says you don't need opioids? Besides, the first bottle's free. 1.3108 0.04875 148 112 26 10
934 PROTEST! My 7/29 edition arrived today,7/30, with the mastodon cartoon and a deadline for entry of 7/28!! Are print readers automatically now excluded from the competition? I have noticed the very tight deadlines before, but this MUST be a mistake! 1.3108 0.05326 148 117 16 15
935 I had the procedure myself. It's completely safe. 1.3108 0.04378 148 107 36 5
936 Make sure to lick the wound constantly and eat plenty of pizza. 1.3108 0.04968 148 113 24 11
937 Don’t give me that look. I lost three cousins to be able to give this to you. 1.3108 0.05060 148 114 22 12
938 They're looking for human test subjects and you qualify! Congratulations! 1.3108 0.04780 148 111 28 9
939 Trust me. This is prescription strength—not industrial strength like they give my kind. 1.3108 0.04583 148 109 32 7
940 Gnaw on it twice a day. Trust me. 1.3108 0.04272 148 106 38 4
941 100% cure. The side effects are that you will be wickedly adaptable and may wake up wet in a neighbor's bathroom smelling like poop. 1.3108 0.04378 148 107 36 5
942 Yes, in rare instances the prescription can have hallucinogenic side effects. Why do you ask? 1.3108 0.04272 148 106 38 4
943 The head researcher at the lab saw my potential and, long story short, here I am! 1.3108 0.04583 148 109 32 7
944 The opioids should suppress your plague symptoms. 1.3108 0.04683 148 110 30 8
945 You'll be able to squeak by with this. 1.3108 0.04683 148 110 30 8
946 If you run out, just pull the black lever. 1.3108 0.04482 148 108 34 6
947 If you think I'm a giant talking mouse, then you really need this prescription 1.3108 0.04683 148 110 30 8
948 Don't worry! It was tested on humans. 1.3108 0.04583 148 109 32 7
949 Its okay. I got my start in the lab. 1.3108 0.04583 148 109 32 7
950 For the best results, take it with sewage. 1.3108 0.04583 148 109 32 7
951 That's a common misconception. It's actually YOU who carries the plague 1.3108 0.04683 148 110 30 8
952 Take this and stay away from building inspectors. 1.3108 0.04683 148 110 30 8
953 They haven't run clinical trials on humans yet, but this worked wonders for my cousin 1.3108 0.04875 148 112 26 10
954 Here, this will guide you through any emotional labyrinth. And, yes, you’’ll get the cheese. 1.3108 0.04583 148 109 32 7
955 My cousins back at the lab all swear by this stuff. 1.3108 0.04875 148 112 26 10
956 We would never experiment on humans to ensure it's safe for rats. 1.3108 0.04583 148 109 32 7
957 I guarantee it will double in size. I was in the original study. 1.3108 0.04780 148 111 28 9
958 Take these but only under a full moon. 1.3108 0.04683 148 110 30 8
959 Sometimes I don't feel like myself, either. 1.3108 0.04482 148 108 34 6
960 I know you've had bad previous experiences with doctors before but trust me. 1.3108 0.05150 148 115 20 13
961 You said a moment ago that everybody you look at seems to be a rat. This prescription will help with that, Mr. Sprague. 1.3108 0.04583 148 109 32 7
962 You can get this at any drugstore here in Baltimore. 1.3094 0.05090 139 106 23 10
963 I spent so much time in the lab that they gave me an honorary degree. 1.3094 0.04433 139 100 35 4
964 One day you're crawling up a sewer pipe, the next you're in medical school. New York, right? Here's your prescription for bubonic plague. 1.3094 0.05291 139 108 19 12
965 You’re telling me healthcare is more . . . human in Canada? 1.3094 0.05191 139 107 21 11
966 Here's the number of a plastic surgeon. He did wonders with my chin. 1.3087 0.04457 149 109 34 6
967 Take two in your dumpster, with sewer water, before bedtime. 1.3087 0.04457 149 109 34 6
968 Yes, but now I run the Lab instead. 1.3082 0.04617 146 108 31 7
969 You'll have to decide if you think I'm a good doctor. But at least I accept your insurance. 1.3082 0.04718 146 109 29 8
970 My brother was on an early trial for this one and saw results immediately. 1.3082 0.04617 146 108 31 7
971 We've corrected the LASIK machine calibration issue. These drops should help. 1.3082 0.04914 146 111 25 10
972 Yeah, your eye really shouldn't look like mine. 1.3082 0.04514 146 107 33 6
973 Your participation may contribute knowledge that alleviates suffering in rats worldwide. 1.3082 0.04514 146 107 33 6
974 The first symptom is the eyes, why do you ask? 1.3082 0.04514 146 107 33 6
975 Warfarin is proven to work. 1.3082 0.05103 146 113 21 12
976 Trust me, med school was a maze. 1.3082 0.04514 146 107 33 6
977 You should have taken the blue pill. 1.3082 0.04514 146 107 33 6
978 Try this prescription. It worked for me. 1.3082 0.04718 146 109 29 8
979 Relax, it’s a much lower dose than I take. 1.3082 0.05010 146 112 23 11
980 I tested these myself. 1.3082 0.04408 146 106 35 5
981 Here's your prescription and don't try to weasel out on your co-pay 1.3082 0.04718 146 109 29 8
982 It's safe.... the FDA tested it .... 1.3082 0.04514 146 107 33 6
983 It was my brother's practice, but he had a run in with a girl in a red hood. 1.3082 0.04408 146 106 32 5
984 I take this myself. There might be a few side effects 1.3082 0.04514 146 107 33 6
985 It's very safe - 9 out of 10 of my relatives had no adverse side effects. 1.3082 0.04408 146 106 35 5
986 This should cure what’s plaguing you. 1.3082 0.04408 146 106 35 5
987 Are you prone to hallucinations? 1.3082 0.04188 146 104 39 3
988 I've been taking this same medicine for years, and it's had no negative effects at all. 1.3082 0.04617 146 108 31 7
989 What side effects are you referring to? 1.3082 0.04914 146 111 25 10
990 Perhaps some meds with less intense side effects might help. 1.3082 0.04718 146 109 29 8
991 We don't do plague cures anymore, here's a script for an expensive, crippling opioid addiction. 1.3082 0.04718 146 109 29 8
992 Look, see you in TWO WEEKS: Gotta get back to the race. 1.3082 0.04617 146 106 31 6
993 This drug is perfectly safe. I take it myself. 1.3082 0.04514 146 107 33 6
994 The prescription is well tested, don’t worry, I would know. 1.3082 0.04617 146 108 31 7
995 My cousins were the first to try these. 1.3082 0.04718 146 109 29 8
996 It has been tested only on mice...but so far, so good. 1.3082 0.04617 146 108 31 7
997 Take twice daily with garbage. 1.3082 0.04617 146 108 31 7
998 Chew through these wires and call me in the morning. 1.3082 0.04914 146 111 25 10
999 Unfortunately, sir, blocks of cheddar are out-of-network. 1.3082 0.04914 146 111 25 9
1000 There is no reason to worry about this prescription. I take it myself. 1.3082 0.04408 146 106 35 5
1001 The prescription is at the end of the maze. 1.3082 0.04514 146 107 33 6
1002 Stop staring at my mustache! 1.3082 0.04718 146 109 29 8
1003 Just take two and kill me in the morning. 1.3082 0.04914 146 111 25 10
1004 Trust me - I was a doctor long before I turned into a rat. 1.3082 0.04514 146 107 33 6
1005 I got my start in the lab. 1.3082 0.04514 146 107 33 6
1006 Is there something you want to ask? 1.3082 0.04617 146 108 31 7
1007 Nibble carefully, and be prepared to bolt. 1.3082 0.04718 146 109 29 8
1008 Not to worry, its been extensively tested on cats. 1.3082 0.04514 146 107 33 6
1009 I'm a Republican from Baltimore, why? 1.3082 0.04718 146 109 29 8
1010 What’s there not to trust? 1.3082 0.05010 146 112 23 11
1011 No need to make a followup appointment Mr. Smith. This should take care of the issue. 1.3082 0.04188 146 104 39 3
1012 Take two and you’ll forget you saw the tiny mouse on my desk. 1.3082 0.04514 146 107 33 6
1013 You may experience a strong desire to frighten the hell out of people. 1.3082 0.04817 146 110 27 9
1014 My great, great, great grandfather gave his life for this. 1.3082 0.04718 146 109 29 8
1015 I know, you thought 'ratified' meant something else. 1.3082 0.04718 146 109 29 8
1016 This stuff got me through medical school. 1.3082 0.04514 146 107 33 6
1017 Your eye condition qualifies. Here's your marijuana prescription. 1.3082 0.04617 146 108 31 7
1018 Don't worry...I take it myself, and the side effects are minimal. 1.3082 0.04514 146 107 33 6
1019 There are a few cosmetic side effects. 1.3082 0.04718 146 109 29 8
1020 This should help with the voices. 1.3082 0.05103 146 113 21 12
1021 I only validate parking for my own species. 1.3082 0.04514 146 107 33 6
1022 Relax it’s just for cheese 1.3082 0.04617 146 108 30 7
1023 Don’t be alarmed if you develop a sudden craving for cheese. 1.3082 0.04718 146 109 29 8
1024 Get this filled at the dumpster behind Wu's Palace. 1.3082 0.05010 146 112 23 11
1025 The pharmacy is down two floors, off the elevator, left, right, right, left, right, left. 1.3082 0.04718 146 109 29 8
1026 Believe me, it works. I tested it on myself. 1.3082 0.04718 146 109 29 8
1027 There are no side effects. I tested it myself. 1.3082 0.04617 146 108 31 7
1028 This won't get you out of the maze, but it should help with the dizziness. 1.3082 0.04617 146 108 31 7
1029 I didn't experience any issues during testing, but side effects vary by individual. 1.3082 0.04617 146 108 31 7
1030 This might have some side effects but it will definitely suppress your social anxiety 1.3082 0.04617 146 108 31 7
1031 Sorry, I don’t take American Express. Only roadkill or Visa. 1.3082 0.04914 146 111 25 10
1032 This is a wireless shocker, Dr. Skinner. 1.3082 0.04817 146 110 27 9
1033 This worked on me. 1.3082 0.04718 146 109 29 8
1034 Here is a prescription for an exercise wheel 1.3071 0.05185 127 96 23 8
1035 My friends in the lab swear by it." 1.3061 0.04275 147 106 37 4
1036 It's okay. I prescribe it for myself. 1.3061 0.04691 147 110 29 8
1037 Some of my cousins experienced minor fur loss with this medication, but you should be fine. 1.3061 0.04383 147 107 35 5
1038 It's an anti-hallucinatory. 1.3056 0.04546 144 106 32 6
1039 Try these and you should stop seeing rats everywhere. 1.3056 0.04652 144 107 30 7
1040 No, I don't do online prescriptions...I guess that makes me weird. 1.3056 0.04652 144 107 30 7
1041 Here's your prescription, and please get over the "Black Plague thing"" 1.3056 0.04856 144 109 26 9
1042 Recommend you wrap these capsules in a slice of ham to disguise the taste 1.3056 0.04438 144 105 34 5
1043 This should help control your hallucinations. Come back in a week and we'll see if it worked." 1.3056 0.04652 144 107 30 7
1044 You can pick these up in any storm drain. 1.3056 0.04856 144 109 26 9
1045 Absolutely! Guaranteed not to have the side effects of the last one! 1.3056 0.04755 144 108 28 8
1046 Honest, it’s not species specific. 1.3056 0.04327 144 104 36 4
1047 Stay out of Baltimore. 1.3056 0.04955 144 110 24 10
1048 This will put you back in the rat race. 1.3056 0.04213 144 103 38 3
1049 Who's afraid of big bad pharma? 1.3056 0.05333 144 114 16 14
1050 Take this down to the maze lab, third floor. 1.3056 0.04652 144 107 30 7
1051 Go ahead and take one. I promise I won't shock you again. 1.3056 0.04856 144 109 26 9
1052 And here is the number of my plastic surgeon. 1.3056 0.04652 144 107 30 7
1053 You should take it on a full moon...I mean stomach. 1.3056 0.04755 144 108 28 8
1054 Some of us made it from the street to Johns Hopkins. 1.3056 0.04546 144 106 32 6
1055 Before I started taking these, I couldn’t even figure out the maze. 1.3056 0.04438 144 105 34 5
1056 This helped me get through the maze 50% faster. 1.3056 0.04755 144 108 28 8
1057 I don't want to give you the runaround, but we're looking for subjects for a new study. 1.3056 0.04856 144 109 26 9
1058 Why do you look so shocked, Steve. I'm sure I'm not the only rat in your life. 1.3056 0.04546 144 106 32 6
1059 The results are in: it works on humans so it's safe for the rats. 1.3056 0.04955 144 110 24 10
1060 That's DOCTOR Dirty Rat, sir. 1.3056 0.04856 144 109 26 9
1061 Take it from me, other than occasional cravings for hard cheese there are no side effects to worry about. 1.3056 0.04546 144 106 32 6
1062 Most of my patients are fine with under-the-counter." 1.3056 0.04546 144 106 32 6
1063 Psst! Here... Don't tell them I'm from Baltimore! 1.3056 0.04755 144 108 28 8
1064 I graduated top of my animal trials. 1.3056 0.04856 144 109 26 9
1065 Don't give up. I encountered a lot of dead ends getting to where I am today. 1.3056 0.04856 144 109 26 9
1066 My brother was a test subject for this. He swears by it. 1.3056 0.04755 144 108 28 8
1067 Here's an opthamologist I like. Good luck. 1.3056 0.04652 144 107 30 7
1068 Take this until you find yourself chewing on baseboards. 1.3056 0.04652 144 107 30 7
1069 I guarantee it's safe and effective. It was tested on my own family. 1.3056 0.05052 144 111 22 11
1070 This should help. So you know, I'm a recovering cheese addict myself. 1.3056 0.04438 144 105 34 5
1071 I take this myself. There are some slight side effects , but nothing worth mentioning. 1.3056 0.04955 144 110 24 10
1072 I don't like taking pills either but this one worked for me too 1.3056 0.04546 144 106 32 6
1073 I advise you take these with two or three pellets, and call me in the morning. 1.3056 0.04546 144 106 32 6
1074 Yes I did go to medical school at Johns Hopkins. Why do you ask? 1.3056 0.04438 144 105 34 5
1075 I'm confident in this prescription. I tested it on myself. 1.3056 0.04438 144 105 34 5
1076 It works. Trust me! 1.3056 0.04546 144 106 32 6
1077 Don’t worry. It was tested on me. 1.3056 0.04652 144 107 30 7
1078 Are you a man or a mouse? This prescription will help you decide. 1.3056 0.04652 144 105 28 6
1079 Rodentine DC is guaranteed free of annoying side effects. I'm on a mild dose for nasal congestion, myself. 1.3056 0.04546 144 106 32 6
1080 Take this prescription. Come back in a week. If I still look like this to you, we'll investigate further. 1.3056 0.04438 144 105 34 5
1081 Works great and never tested on rats. 1.3056 0.04438 144 105 34 5
1082 My brother was in the beta test. This stuff works. 1.3056 0.04546 144 106 32 6
1083 Take these, they helped me out many times when I felt trapped. 1.3056 0.04438 144 105 34 5
1084 How should I know? It's not tested on animals. 1.3056 0.04856 144 109 26 9
1085 Who told you all moles can be cancerous? 1.3056 0.04856 144 109 26 9
1086 I’m ethically obligated to tell you that this drug can cause excessive nose whiskers. 1.3056 0.04438 144 105 34 5
1087 Everyone knows what really happens when the cheese stands alone. You want me on that wall; you need me on that wall 1.3056 0.04546 144 106 32 6
1088 For best results use it during the full moon. 1.3056 0.04856 144 109 26 9
1089 Trust me. It is not rat poison. 1.3056 0.04546 144 106 32 6
1090 The side effects include growing whiskers and fur, but it'll cure your visions. 1.3056 0.04327 144 104 36 4
1091 This is for your lab test. Check in this afternoon. Good luck. 1.3056 0.04652 144 107 30 7
1092 I took the same medicine for the same condition. The side effects are trivial. 1.3056 0.04856 144 109 26 9
1093 Why the long face? 1.3056 0.04652 144 107 30 7
1094 Grind them up and mix into your food. 1.3056 0.04755 144 108 28 8
1095 Yes, I’m sure you’re hallucinating & not having a recurring dream. 1.3056 0.04755 144 108 28 8
1096 Not sure whether this will be covered — health insurance is such a maze. 1.3056 0.04856 144 109 26 9
1097 You see, when they cut down all the trees, I had to take on an office job to survive. 1.3056 0.04327 144 104 36 4
1098 My late family took this. 1.3056 0.04755 144 108 28 8
1099 And I'm going to refer you to someone who hasn't just eaten out of a dumpster. 1.3050 0.04495 141 103 33 5
1100 This may surprise you, but the cure is cheese. 1.3043 0.04781 138 103 28 7
1101 That's when I discovered it was better to be the one performing the research. 1.3043 0.04997 138 105 24 9
1102 Fill this at any trash can. 1.3043 0.04997 138 105 24 9
1103 Try it, it worked for me. 1.3034 0.04189 145 104 38 3
1104 Humans don't qualify for the clinical trial so I wrote here that you're a rat 1.3034 0.04624 145 108 30 7
1105 Yeah, Johns Hopkins, class of 2010. Why do you ask? 1.3034 0.04727 145 109 28 8
1106 Take this and then I'll look like a pig and you can get on with your life. 1.3034 0.04827 145 110 26 9
1107 Let's deal with the depression first. 1.3028 0.04468 142 104 33 5
1108 Sorry I bit you. This ointment should prevent infection. 1.3028 0.04996 142 109 23 10
1109 Mr. Jones, just take these twice a day for three weeks, and I promise you that you will no longer be seeing animals dressed-up in suits. 1.3028 0.04687 142 106 29 7
1110 Don’t worry. I’m a board certified lab rat. 1.3028 0.04579 142 105 31 6
1111 I can personally assure you these will help with the rat race. 1.3028 0.05095 142 110 21 11
1112 Don't worry. It's been fully tested by the FDA. Trust me, I supervised the human trials myself. 1.3028 0.04579 142 105 31 6
1113 It's a big pill. You'll have to gnaw on it. 1.3028 0.04579 142 105 31 6
1114 I know you’re worried about the side effects of this new medication, but I take this, and look at me? 1.3028 0.04579 142 105 31 6
1115 They kicked me out of vet school. I kept eating the patients. 1.3028 0.04468 142 104 33 5
1116 Don't worry, they are perfectly safe plus I participated in the phase one, clinical trial. 1.3028 0.04355 142 103 35 4
1117 It helps if you wrap it in a bit of cheese before taking it. 1.3022 0.04527 139 102 32 5
1118 Now, all of a sudden, you have a conscience? 1.3022 0.04860 139 105 26 8
1119 Call me crazy, but street drugs are probably cheaper 1.3022 0.04860 139 105 26 8
1120 Believe me, you don't want to take warfarin. 1.3022 0.04860 139 105 26 8
1121 Take one 2X daily and avoid Baltimore or any other infested places. 1.3022 0.05172 139 108 20 11
1122 I’m afraid it’s not looking good. Here is the number to my vet. 1.3022 0.04641 139 103 30 6
1123 You'll feel much better once the whiskers grow in completely. 1.3022 0.04641 139 103 30 6
1124 “This should help with those hallucinations you’ve been having.” 1.3007 0.04442 143 105 33 5
1125 smell my finger 1.3007 0.04966 143 110 23 10
1126 Don't worry. They tested it on me first. 1.3000 0.04935 140 107 24 9
1127 I’m prescribing two weeks rest and relaxation in Baltimore. 1.3000 0.04935 140 107 24 9
1128 Don't worry. I take it myself, and the side effects are barely noticeable. 1.3000 0.04500 140 103 32 5
1129 It’s been shown to be very successful in trials on humans 1.3000 0.04500 140 103 32 5
1130 Don’t worry, it’s safe. It was tested on me. 1.3000 0.04612 140 104 30 6
1131 I know it works. I tested it myself. 1.3000 0.04500 140 103 32 5
1132 Call me if you have an erection lasting longer than 4 hours or start craving cheese. 1.3000 0.04935 140 107 24 9
1133 Don't worry, I've tested all prescriptions myself. 1.3000 0.04384 140 102 34 4
1134 Some one has given you human poison!!! 1.2993 0.04900 137 104 25 8
1135 I specialize in infested infections 1.2993 0.05114 137 106 21 10
1136 Hey, you've never seen anyone in a white coat before? 1.2993 0.04675 137 102 29 6
1137 I'm gonna need you to stop dropping acid before checkups. 1.2993 0.04675 137 102 29 6
1138 I'm obliged to tell you that this medication has only been tried out with humans. 1.2993 0.04789 137 103 27 7
1139 Who better to help you navigate the rat race then a rat? 1.2993 0.04675 137 102 29 6
1140 You can have the prescription filled at any corner in your basement. 1.2993 0.04440 137 99 33 4
1141 Trust me—it’s perfectly safe. It’s been tested in rats. 1.2993 0.04675 137 102 29 6
1142 I was a lab rat. Then I met Tony Robbins. 1.2993 0.05114 137 106 21 10
1143 There isn’t a medicine out there with NO unexpected effects, James. 1.2993 0.04675 137 102 29 6
1144 You should be able to get this filled at your local land-fill. 1.2993 0.04789 137 103 27 7
1145 Take them an hour before gnawing. 1.2993 0.04789 137 103 27 7
1146 Here's your ticket to Baltimore. 1.2993 0.05420 137 109 15 13
1147 Don't worry. I tested this drug personally. 1.2993 0.04675 137 102 29 6
1148 This prescription is sure to work. It's been tested on me personally. 1.2993 0.04900 137 104 25 8
1149 This will put hair on your nose 1.2993 0.04675 137 102 29 6
1150 You are correct,I do play a doctor on TV 1.2993 0.04900 137 104 25 8
1151 I take this drug myself. The only side effects are excessive hair growth, an elongated tail that some find repulsive, an attraction to certain kinds of cheese, and a desire to scurry about which can be fatal. 1.2993 0.04559 137 101 31 5
1152 For your headache, take this. It literally changed my life. 1.2993 0.04559 137 101 31 5
1153 Relax... I clinically tested these myself. 1.2993 0.04675 137 102 29 6
1154 Yes, I'm your worst nightmare -- a wolf in doctor's clothing... 1.2993 0.05008 137 105 23 9
1155 Here's your membership card. Welcome to the Rat Race. 1.2993 0.04789 137 103 27 7
1156 For the last time, my name is NOT Pavlov. 1.2993 0.04675 137 102 29 6
1157 Remember it’s two slices of Cheddar and one slice of Havarti right before bed. 1.2993 0.04440 137 100 33 4
1158 Take it twice a day with cheese 1.2979 0.04800 141 107 26 8
1159 Oh, we may have to cut your brain in little slices to see if this really worked, but that's just standard practice. 1.2979 0.04358 141 103 34 4
1160 There are side effects, but I find them quite tolerable. 1.2979 0.04800 141 107 26 8
1161 It's perfectly safe, I've taken it myself for years. 1.2979 0.04585 141 105 30 6
1162 Try it. I've tested it myself. 1.2979 0.04800 141 107 26 8
1163 I gotta guy ...he doesn't ask questions. 1.2979 0.04800 141 107 26 8
1164 You've got 2 hours. Valet is at the center of the hedge maze. 1.2979 0.04800 141 107 26 8
1165 No, no, no. Last time I told you to take something for your acid reflux — NOT "take acid for your flaccid reflex." No wonder you look at me and see a giant rat. 1.2979 0.05107 141 110 20 11
1166 I’m required to tell you it’s not yet approved for use in humans. But don’t worry, I’ve been taking it for years. 1.2979 0.04905 141 108 24 9
1167 Take one of these twice a day with cheese, I mean meals. 1.2979 0.04585 141 105 30 6
1168 Don't worry. If it was brain cancer, you would already have hallucinations. 1.2979 0.04800 141 107 26 8
1169 Trust me, I can help. I've been in the gutter too. 1.2979 0.04694 141 106 28 7
1170 What, you think I'd prescribe poison? 1.2979 0.04800 141 107 26 8
1171 This should help with your face recognition. 1.2979 0.04800 141 107 26 8
1172 Take two of these a day with cheese. 1.2971 0.04759 138 104 27 7
1173 ‘’ You may acquire a taste for extension cords.’’ 1.2971 0.04647 138 103 29 6
1174 Yes, I took it myself, but don't worry, this side effect is rare. 1.2971 0.04976 138 106 23 9
1175 I can see you're worried about my online diplomas... 1.2971 0.04869 138 105 25 8
1176 Take it. It's a free sample. 1.2971 0.04759 138 104 27 7
1177 I wouldn’t worry. Medicare-for-all covers prescriptions for every mammal. 1.2971 0.04759 138 104 27 7
1178 I think it's time for me to cut back on your CBD prescription. 1.2969 0.04753 128 95 28 5
1179 You need a specialist. I'm referring you to a platypus. 1.2969 0.05126 128 98 22 8
1180 Take this prescription to the nearest Canadian pharmacy unless you want to sell your house. 1.2969 0.05126 128 98 22 8
1181 What, you've never seen a lab rat before? 1.2969 0.04880 128 96 26 6
1182 Side effects may include hepatitis, pancreatic cancer, and bubonic plague. 1.2955 0.05863 88 66 18 4
1183 Yes. It’s been clinically tested. I took it myself. 1.2950 0.04618 139 104 29 6
1184 Yes, I've read "Stuart Little." Why do you ask? 1.2950 0.05049 139 108 21 10
1185 Take it from me, this stuff works. 1.2950 0.04729 139 105 27 7
1186 You'll find this is particularly effective with managing hallucinations. 1.2950 0.04945 139 107 23 9
1187 Funny story about that. My father was playing around with CRISPR when there was an escape from the rodent lab... 1.2950 0.04945 139 107 23 9
1188 I have a policy of not prescribing any medication tested on animals. 1.2950 0.04618 139 104 29 6
1189 I'm referring you out for a CAT scan. Just kidding. Here's a script for some oxycodone. 1.2950 0.04838 139 106 25 8
1190 When I tell you you don't have the plague,I know what I am talking about! 1.2950 0.04618 139 104 29 6
1191 Try this. It did wonders for me." 1.2950 0.04729 139 105 27 7
1192 Don’t worry, I tested it on myself. 1.2950 0.04504 139 103 31 5
1193 This won't work for you, but it's covered by insurance. 1.2946 0.04721 129 96 28 5
1194 Yes, I always wear a tie? 1.2941 0.05515 119 93 17 9
1195 I have personally tested it. 1.2941 0.04681 136 102 28 6
1196 There's no poison in it. Honest. I swear. Zero poison. 1.2941 0.04681 136 102 28 6
1197 Here's a prescription for something stronger. You can't get this kind of cheese over the counter. 1.2941 0.05018 136 105 22 9
1198 Of course you can’t read my writing. I’m a rat! 1.2937 0.04790 126 94 27 5
1199 With whiskers? Really? Tell you what, here is a second prescription to help with the occasional hallucinations. 1.2937 0.04655 126 93 29 4
1200 Take this and you'll feel fine testifying against him. 1.2937 0.04790 126 94 27 5
1201 This should help with your underdeveloped nostril hair. 1.2937 0.04517 126 92 31 3
1202 Cheer up. You may only have one year. That’s my entire lifespan. 1.2932 0.04747 133 100 27 6
1203 You'll be navigating mazes successfully again in no time. 1.2932 0.05205 133 104 19 10
1204 Here. And please stop calling me Dr. Ben. 1.2932 0.04747 133 100 27 6
1205 Here’s the prescription for your new medication— I’m not especially concerned about side effects.” 1.2932 0.04501 133 98 31 4
1206 Let me know if this works. 1.2932 0.04747 133 100 27 6
1207 Why do you ask if I’m from Baltimore? 1.2932 0.05313 133 105 17 11
1208 The side effects are not as bad as they look. 1.2932 0.04981 133 102 23 8
1209 And that's why I became a plastic surgeon. 1.2932 0.04747 133 100 27 6
1210 Perhaps the generic version of these wasn't fully effective... 1.2932 0.04981 133 102 23 8
1211 Safe?!?” Absolutely ... I took it and it’s done miracles for me 1.2932 0.04866 133 101 25 7
1212 I'm prescribing some 'maze therapy' to treat your claustropobia. 1.2932 0.05094 133 103 21 9
1213 Call this number if you get sick and tired of the rat race. 1.2932 0.04501 133 98 31 4
1214 Yes of course it's safe - they tested it on my family. 1.2932 0.04501 133 98 31 4
1215 Your Drug Plan only allows for generic Cheddar. I can’t specify Wisconsin or Vermont. 1.2932 0.04104 133 95 37 1
1216 I went to Johns Hopkins. Why do you ask? 1.2932 0.04866 133 101 25 7
1217 It’s big and it’s bad but in a week you should be out of the woods. 1.2932 0.04981 133 102 23 8
1218 It's experimental, but it should do the trick. Worked on me. 1.2932 0.04626 133 99 28 5
1219 Here is a prescription for plague vaccine. Somehow all my patients take it. 1.2932 0.04747 133 100 27 6
1220 No reason to be concerned. I take this drug myself. 1.2932 0.04501 133 98 31 4
1221 No, I'm NOT from Baltimore ! 1.2932 0.05094 133 103 21 9
1222 I got my start in Marina del Rey. In those years, lab rats were seen as second-class citizens. 1.2932 0.04981 133 102 23 8
1223 No worries, I’ve researched and tested this medication myself. 1.2932 0.04981 133 102 23 8
1224 We have high hopes the results will be duplicated in humans. 1.2932 0.04626 133 99 29 5
1225 Look, they tested this on my whole family. 1.2932 0.04981 133 102 23 8
1226 I can vouch for this, I was in the non-placebo group. 1.2932 0.04372 133 97 33 3
1227 This will help with the hallucinations, but I'm still a rat. 1.2932 0.04626 133 99 29 5
1228 I'm giving you this prescription for nose hair. I'm an expert. 1.2932 0.04981 133 102 23 8
1229 I'm referring you to a specialist in Baltimore. 1.2932 0.04747 133 100 27 6
1230 Nothing to be afraid of...just a few tests. 1.2932 0.04981 133 102 23 8
1231 Hey, the maze and education was easy. Getting insurance coverage is the hard part. 1.2932 0.04747 133 100 27 6
1232 Laboratory tests were inconclusive of any side effects. 1.2932 0.04981 133 102 22 8
1233 Here, this should clear up the infestation... er... the infection. 1.2932 0.04747 133 100 27 6
1234 Oh, it's very safe. I personally know many of those involved in the early trials. 1.2932 0.04747 133 100 27 6
1235 I went to a more “underground” medical school. 1.2932 0.04501 133 98 31 4
1236 I wouldn't give you anything I hadn't tried out myself. 1.2932 0.04981 133 102 23 8
1237 That's right, Peterson! I know all about that box of warfarin in your garage. My how the tables have turned, eh? 1.2932 0.05313 133 105 17 11
1238 There are no side effects. And, Bob, all the ladies love a little hair on the snout. 1.2932 0.04747 133 100 27 6
1239 This medicine worked for me. 1.2932 0.05094 133 103 21 9
1240 You'll be fine. After all, it's not rat poison. 1.2932 0.04981 133 102 23 8
1241 Take this, avoid mazes. and eat lots of cheese. 1.2932 0.04747 133 100 27 6
1242 Take two pills every two hours until fully addicted. 1.2932 0.04981 133 102 23 8
1243 A word of advice-to get a job here you need a certain kind of moustache. Take these and come back in two weeks. 1.2932 0.04747 133 100 27 6
1244 You know, I originally went to school to be a chef. 1.2932 0.04981 133 102 23 8
1245 This will take care of your protruding eyes like I had. There are side effects though. 1.2932 0.04747 133 99 27 6
1246 "You don't look like you're hallucinating." 1.2932 0.05094 133 103 21 9
1247 Have this script filled at the pharmacy. Go out the door, turn right, turn right again, turn left, turn right, then turn left , turn left, turn right, and you’re there. 1.2932 0.04747 133 100 27 6
1248 Nibble on this tonight, and call me in the morning. 1.2932 0.04626 133 99 29 5
1249 Side effects include headache, rash, insomnia, diarrhea, impotence, development of rodent-like features, and full-body alopecia; but most are reversible. 1.2932 0.04372 133 97 33 3
1250 Yes, many other rodents are involved in the medical field, but they tend to work in the labs. 1.2932 0.04981 133 102 23 8
1251 Don’t worry, it’s not a harmful drug. I can personally vouch for its safety. 1.2932 0.04866 133 101 25 7
1252 It's a blood thinner.It's not going to kill you. 1.2932 0.04866 133 101 25 7
1253 And, worst of all - no more cheese. 1.2932 0.04866 133 101 25 7
1254 ...and go easy on the cheese. 1.2923 0.04561 130 96 30 4
1255 I'm Transferring You To Our "LAB" Division Where YOU Will Be Tested. 1.2910 0.04949 134 102 23 8
1256 Trust me. It worked for me. 1.2910 0.04834 134 102 25 7
1257 This drug is great according to my friends in the lab. 1.2901 0.04532 131 97 30 4
1258 The Black Plague? Yeah, this one's on us. 1.2901 0.04660 131 98 28 5
1259 From Baltimore since you ask. 1.2901 0.05024 131 101 22 8
1260 I graduated from Ratcliffe. Why do you ask? 1.2901 0.05139 131 102 20 9
1261 It's pronounced "ver-mine." Here's my card so you won't make that mistake in the future. 1.2901 0.04905 131 100 24 7
1262 At one time yes, I was a lab rat, it was the beginning of my interest in the study of medicine. 1.2901 0.04784 131 99 26 6
1263 I know the rat race can be brutal, but I want you to keep trying to find the end of the maze. If I can do it, so can you. 1.2901 0.05024 131 101 22 8
1264 Well, just exactly what kind of side effects have your been experiencing? 1.2901 0.04660 131 98 28 5
1265 I was in the test group for this new drug and, as you can see, there are no noticeable side effects at all. 1.2901 0.05024 131 101 22 8
1266 Side effects? Not with Ratalin. 1.2901 0.04784 131 99 26 6
1267 Baltimore. Why do you ask? 1.2901 0.04905 131 100 24 7
1268 If you need me over the weekend, I’ll be at this address in Baltimore. 1.2901 0.04784 131 99 26 6
1269 Whatever made you think one of the side effects is hallucinations! 1.2901 0.04784 131 99 26 6
1270 My cousin is stuck in your what? 1.2901 0.04905 131 100 24 7
1271 I know this works, I tested it on all my children. 1.2901 0.04660 131 98 28 5
1272 I'm almost certain this will do the trick. If not, too bad. 1.2901 0.04532 131 97 30 4
1273 If you can't afford human healthcare, don't complain about getting the rat medication. 1.2901 0.05363 131 104 16 11
1274 It's safe, I even tested it on myself. 1.2901 0.04784 131 99 26 6
1275 This will help with your mange... uh... rash. 1.2901 0.04784 131 99 26 6
1276 I'm afraid you don't qualify for this study, but there's another lab rat down the street who might be able to use you." 1.2901 0.04532 131 97 30 4
1277 As long as you take these pills, at least your brain stays human. Trust me, I would know. 1.2901 0.04784 131 99 26 6
1278 Worked for us. 1.2901 0.04532 131 97 30 4
1279 Look, there's a fifty-fifty chance I myself have taken these before, and I'm just fine. 1.2901 0.04784 131 99 26 6
1280 What do you mean secondary effects? 1.2901 0.05024 131 101 22 8
1281 This should help with your musophobia. 1.2901 0.04905 131 100 24 7
1282 It's just a mask, actually, I'm a tortoise. 1.2901 0.04784 131 99 26 6
1283 "All my lab buddies said it works." 1.2901 0.04125 131 94 36 1
1284 And here's your opioid addiction; er, I mean prescription. 1.2901 0.05139 131 102 20 9
1285 If you're not feeling cheddar by the end of the week I want you to come back in 1.2901 0.05024 131 101 22 8
1286 Wolf by name, wolf by nature. 1.2901 0.04905 131 100 24 7
1287 You are way behind in the race. This will speed you up nicely. 1.2901 0.04905 131 100 24 7
1288 Take two of these a day and avoid me like the plague. 1.2901 0.04660 131 98 28 5
1289 Take two a day, and in no time you'll be feeling bright-eyed and bushy-tailed. 1.2901 0.05139 131 102 20 9
1290 Eat more cheese? That's your prescription? 1.2901 0.04784 131 99 26 6
1291 This one's for what you'll get because of my exam. 1.2901 0.04905 131 100 24 7
1292 I'm referring you to a wolf in sheep's clothing. She may be able to help you. 1.2901 0.04660 131 98 28 5
1293 Give two of these to your cat and call me in the morning. 1.2901 0.05252 131 103 18 10
1294 Human medical providers are not part of you health plan. 1.2901 0.04905 131 100 24 7
1295 Why would you think I’d breach doctor-patient confidentiality? 1.2901 0.04905 131 100 24 7
1296 A few side effects, but I take it myself. 1.2901 0.04660 131 98 28 5
1297 I know this prescription will work, I tested it myself. 1.2901 0.04660 131 98 28 5
1298 This medication was found effective in hundreds of my siblings. 1.2901 0.04532 131 97 30 4
1299 No need to worry. I was on the team who did safety testing. 1.2901 0.05024 131 101 22 8
1300 This drug is still experimental, but it has been proven safe and effective with rats. 1.2901 0.04784 131 99 26 6
1301 I'd like for you to give my genetics counselor a call. Dr. Moreau is a pioneer in his field. 1.2901 0.05024 131 101 22 8
1302 Trust me, I was a hardcore lab rat in medical school. 1.2901 0.04660 131 98 28 5
1303 This medication is great. I use it myself. 1.2901 0.04400 131 96 32 3
1304 I do make house calls, provided you live in the subway. 1.2901 0.04784 131 99 26 6
1305 I was in the clinical trial. It's done wonders for me. 1.2901 0.04905 131 100 24 7
1306 Trust me, it will allow you to believe you can do anything. 1.2901 0.04905 131 100 24 7
1307 Lots of my friends have experienced positive results. 1.2901 0.04905 131 100 24 7
1308 'I understand your confusion, but I wasn't using 'cheese' as a euphemism for money. 1.2901 0.04265 131 95 34 2
1309 It will make you a new man. 1.2901 0.04905 131 100 24 7
1310 Karma's a bitch. Pick your poison. 1.2901 0.04784 131 99 26 6
1311 Take two of these and run for the Senate 1.2901 0.04905 131 100 24 7
1312 I think it's time we adjusted your medication. 1.2901 0.04784 131 99 26 6
1313 I'm referring you to a veterinarian 1.2901 0.04784 131 99 26 6
1314 This treatment did not test on lab animals. 1.2901 0.04265 131 99 28 4
1315 Trust me... I tried it myself! 1.2901 0.04660 131 98 28 5
1316 This medicine was tested on my entire family 1.2901 0.04905 131 100 24 7
1317 I know this prescription will cure your craving. I used to have a thing about cheese. 1.2901 0.05024 131 101 22 8
1318 It’s call “TheBlack Plague.” It’s spread by humans 1.2901 0.05024 131 101 22 8
1319 Sure it will work. They tried it on me first. 1.2901 0.04784 131 99 26 6
1320 As prescribed, your exercise wheel pass. 1.2901 0.04660 131 98 28 5
1321 I'm ordering you a stronger cheese, this is for Limburger. 1.2901 0.04532 131 97 30 4
1322 Face it. Rats rule Baltimore. 1.2901 0.05024 131 101 22 8
1323 And, just because I’ve had some complaints, here’s a prescription for plague. 1.2901 0.05252 131 103 18 10
1324 Trust me, Bob. 1.2901 0.04905 131 100 24 7
1325 Rest assured these pills have minimal side effects. 1.2901 0.04660 131 98 28 5
1326 You should be back to your old self in the morning Mr. Samsa. 1.2901 0.05024 131 101 22 8
1327 It's just required testing before we can prescribe them to animals. 1.2901 0.05024 131 101 22 8
1328 Take these twice a day with cheese, 1.2901 0.04905 131 100 24 7
1329 Listen, you look at me like that, but if I trim them I look a little too much like Hitler. 1.2901 0.04532 131 97 30 4
1330 Take this twice a day, and let me know right away if you develop a compulsion to solve mazes or your sense of smell picks out cheese more often than usual. 1.2901 0.04660 131 98 28 5
1331 You're going to need this rabies vaccine. 1.2891 0.04854 128 97 25 6
1332 I don't know why so many of my patients are on anxiety meds. 1.2891 0.04594 128 95 29 4
1333 This to the pharmacy. Just take the first left, the third right, the fourth left, two rights, and a left. 1.2891 0.05101 128 99 21 8
1334 Now, I would like to send you for some testing. 1.2891 0.04979 128 98 23 7
1335 Now don't worry Mr. Willard. Take one of these every morning and you'll be your old rat-bastard self again in no time. 1.2889 0.05137 135 106 19 10
1336 Yes, it’s safe. I’m fine after 3,000 times the human dose. Bigger and smarter too. 1.2879 0.04753 132 100 26 6
1337 I'm on this too. The side effects are temporary. 1.2868 0.04564 129 97 25 5
1338 I'm prescribing one "Rat's Ass" for you to give, at your own leisure. 1.2868 0.05185 129 101 19 9
1339 This should help with the hallucinations . . . 1.2868 0.05067 129 100 21 8
1340 Don't worry ... I've tried it myself and I highly recommend it. 1.2868 0.05067 129 100 21 8
1341 Trust me. I've tested it myself. 1.2868 0.04694 129 97 27 5
1342 Your'll get the Vicoden when I get the cheese. 1.2868 0.04946 129 99 23 7
1343 I'm sorry your lab tests were lost. It's a maze down there! 1.2868 0.04694 129 97 27 5
1344 True, most of us are now immune to Warfarin, but it's still an effective blood thinner for my non-rodent patients. 1.2868 0.04946 129 99 23 7
1345 This should do the trick. Don't listen to what Dr. Katz says. 1.2868 0.04564 129 96 29 4
1346 Side effects? Relax, I’ve been taking this stuff for years. 1.2868 0.04564 129 96 29 4
1347 Thank you for your payment. What made you choose Johns Hopkins Hospital in Baltimore anyway? 1.2868 0.05067 129 100 21 8
1348 Sorry, but you're in our control group. 1.2868 0.04694 129 97 27 5
1349 No side effects. Why? 1.2868 0.05067 129 100 21 8
1350 If you find your way out of the maze, send directions to me at this email address. 1.2868 0.04694 129 97 27 5
1351 Im gonna Rat-chit up a notch! 1.2868 0.04946 129 99 23 7
1352 HIPPA laws forbid me from telling anyone anything, Kevin. 1.2868 0.04946 129 99 23 7
1353 Not addictive at all. I swear. 1.2868 0.05067 129 100 21 8
1354 So you're ratting me out, then? 1.2868 0.04564 129 96 29 4
1355 I survived the trials, and you might too. 1.2868 0.05185 129 101 19 9
1356 Side effects include the sudden urge to jump on an exercise wheel. 1.2868 0.04822 129 98 25 6
1357 It's a GOP membership card. 1.2868 0.04822 129 98 25 6
1358 Quick, here’s the key to the maze, many mice were lost to produce this!" 1.2868 0.04822 129 98 25 6
1359 Don't be weird with me. You're the one who bought health insurance from a Latvian robocall. 1.2868 0.04822 129 98 25 6
1360 Here's your prescription; you need more cheese. 1.2868 0.05067 129 100 21 8
1361 I've tested it personally. 1.2868 0.04822 129 98 25 6
1362 Here. this will thin out your blood. 1.2868 0.04564 129 96 29 4
1363 You say Warfarin, I say Rat Poison, You say it saves you, I say it slays you... 1.2868 0.04822 129 98 25 6
1364 You're in MY lab now Doc. How does it feel to be the subject for a change? 1.2868 0.04822 129 98 25 6
1365 The testing in Humans shows that they are safe! 1.2868 0.05067 129 100 21 8
1366 I assure you, the Rx is lactose free. 1.2868 0.05067 129 100 21 8
1367 It may be new on the market, but based on the animal trials, I assure you it does wonders. 1.2868 0.04694 129 97 27 5
1368 What? Lab rats got dreams too. 1.2868 0.05067 129 100 21 8
1369 Last refill - don't try to weasel your way into getting another one. 1.2868 0.05067 129 100 21 8
1370 This should really help with the hallucinations. 1.2868 0.04564 129 96 29 4
1371 What? Never seen a doctor before? 1.2868 0.04429 129 95 31 3
1372 What kind of disease expert did you expect to find in Baltimore ? 1.2868 0.05067 129 100 21 8
1373 Relax. Cheese always works. 1.2868 0.04694 129 97 27 5
1374 It isn't as potent, but you'll find the side effects a lot less disturbing. 1.2868 0.04694 129 97 27 5
1375 Take this. It should help with your hallucinations. 1.2868 0.04429 129 95 31 3
1376 Two ounces of cheddar administered orally twice a day with meals for two weeks. 1.2868 0.04564 129 96 29 4
1377 I smell anxiety and pesimism. This will make you hibernate until election season is over. 1.2868 0.05185 129 101 19 9
1378 It's not rat poison! 1.2868 0.04822 129 98 25 6
1379 Complimentary ticket to the rodent-free section of the Trump Tower Grille, certified by me. 1.2868 0.04694 129 97 27 5
1380 This will remove your inhibitions for the rate race. Side effects may include loss of meaning, loneliness, more envy, and feeling like a rat. 1.2868 0.04822 129 98 25 6
1381 Our motto? "Your money or your life". Why do you ask? 1.2868 0.05067 129 100 21 8
1382 Three times a day should cure hallucinations. 1.2868 0.04564 129 96 29 4
1383 Well, if you’re surprised that I am the one writing the Rx wait until you see the cost of it. 1.2868 0.04822 129 98 25 6
1384 This prescription will do the trick, it was tested on three of my cousins. 1.2868 0.04694 129 97 27 5
1385 They tried all of them on me, believe me, this one is the best. 1.2868 0.04564 129 96 29 4
1386 'Infested' . . . you say that like it's a bad thing. 1.2857 0.04344 126 92 32 2
1387 It’s for Warfarin, don’t take too much 1.2857 0.04762 126 95 26 5
1388 You need to move to the country and stop watching Fox News. 1.2857 0.05021 126 97 22 7
1389 Give this to your cat to make him sleep. 1.2857 0.04762 126 95 26 5
1390 No, no, no. It's not a referral. It's a ticket to Into the Woods. I hope you sort it all out. 1.2857 0.05071 133 104 20 9
1391 Take two and call me in the flooring. 1.2857 0.04762 126 95 26 5
1392 It's just a blood thinner. I have it all the time. 1.2857 0.04627 126 94 28 4
1393 While taking this, you should probably avoid driving, operating heavy machinery, and hunting. 1.2857 0.04762 126 95 26 5
1394 Oh, and I forgot to prescribe you something for the hallucinations that might be a side effect of the new medication regiment you started last month. 1.2857 0.04893 126 96 24 6
1395 I won't rat you out dude. 1.2857 0.05268 126 99 18 9
1396 The rabies vaccine is on me. 1.2846 0.04912 130 100 23 7
1397 Take two of these every morning for a week and call me if you remain human. 1.2846 0.05032 130 101 21 8
1398 Take two of these daily. And, from now on, stay our of Baltimore. 1.2846 0.04912 130 100 23 7
1399 I'm prescribing a placebo. 1.2846 0.04663 130 98 27 5
1400 This did wonders for my cheddar allergy. 1.2835 0.05111 127 99 20 8
1401 It's for a mild Jarlsberg. We found the stronger Camembert too habit forming. 1.2835 0.04987 127 98 22 7
1402 I'm going to refer you to a physician who specializes in moles. 1.2835 0.04730 127 96 26 5
1403 Tested on me. Foisted on you. 1.2835 0.04596 127 95 28 4
1404 You'll be fine. It's not rat poison, you know! 1.2835 0.04987 127 98 22 7
1405 If you don't like the tablet's taste, put it in a piece of cheese. 1.2835 0.04596 127 95 28 4
1406 You need to eat more cheese. 1.2835 0.04458 127 94 30 3
1407 Trust me, this prescription works. I've tested it myself. 1.2835 0.04730 127 96 26 5
1408 Try this prescription. Your hallucinations and the other side effects should clear up in about a week. 1.2835 0.04458 127 94 30 3
1409 Trump just tweeted that we're a rat-infested city! The nerve." 1.2835 0.04458 127 94 30 3
1410 I'm a lab rat … Trust me ,this stuff works. 1.2835 0.05111 127 99 20 8
1411 I hear you have a rat problem. I can take care of that for you. Here's my card. 1.2835 0.04987 127 98 22 7
1412 Your hypertension is fine, but you do have the plague. 1.2835 0.04987 127 98 22 7
1413 Here's the card for my plastic surgeon 1.2835 0.04860 127 96 23 6
1414 Here’s the address of the lab. Don’t let the maze scare you ! 1.2835 0.04860 127 97 24 6
1415 Listen, I have a nose for this kind of thing. 1.2835 0.04730 127 96 26 5
1416 Just ask for the guy in the sheep’s clothing. 1.2835 0.04987 127 97 22 7
1417 You'll need to squeak to the pharmacist about treatment for your head mice. 1.2835 0.04730 127 96 26 5
1418 Here’s a Alergy prescription, but I strongly recommend you get rid of your cat. 1.2835 0.04730 127 96 26 5
1419 It's only been tested on humans. 1.2835 0.04860 127 97 24 6
1420 Here is a prescription to help with the hallucinations 1.2835 0.04730 127 96 26 5
1421 Take these three times a day, and your face will become more interesting. 1.2835 0.04596 127 95 28 4
1422 Three howls at the moon weekly. That'll fix you right up. 1.2835 0.04987 127 98 22 7
1423 You don’t believe me? Well, pick a card, any card! 1.2835 0.04596 127 95 28 4
1424 I'm referring you to specialist, Dr. Marmot. 1.2835 0.04730 127 96 26 5
1425 You seem to have a little white-coat syndrome. This will help. 1.2835 0.04458 127 94 30 3
1426 This prescription can only be filled in Baltimore 1.2835 0.04860 127 97 24 6
1427 I assure you, it passed all trials. 1.2835 0.04860 127 97 24 6
1428 Take two a day. You'll back up on your hind legs in no time. 1.2835 0.04730 127 96 26 5
1429 Take one a day with garbage. 1.2835 0.04730 127 96 26 5
1430 Yes, these should make the turtles disappear too. 1.2835 0.05111 127 99 20 8
1431 You've been eating way too much garbage food. This script is for real, wholesome garbage. 1.2835 0.05350 127 101 16 10
1432 It's gouda that you came in today! 1.2835 0.05465 127 102 14 11
1433 Please take these two referrals. One is for an opthamologist . The other is for a shrink. Good luck! 1.2835 0.04596 127 95 28 4
1434 If this doesn't kill you it will make you stronger. 1.2835 0.04315 127 93 32 2
1435 This is guaranteed to cure your pop-eyes, but remember the side effect is it gives you nose hairs. 1.2821 0.05408 117 92 17 8
1436 I'm ordering some tests from the lab. Tell them I say hi. 1.2821 0.04982 117 89 23 5
1437 I'm prescribing you a new drug. It's experimental. 1.2812 0.05195 128 101 18 9
1438 I'm recommending against a chin implant, and suggesting a complete facial lift. 1.2812 0.04698 128 97 26 5
1439 Watch out for side effects. I should know. 1.2812 0.04698 128 97 25 5
1440 Here, this will fix you up, it's lab tested! 1.2812 0.04953 128 99 22 7
1441 Don't worry. I take it myself and I haven't experienced a single negative side effect. 1.2812 0.04698 128 97 26 5
1442 To get your bloodwork done, go down the hall, and through the maze. 1.2812 0.04827 128 98 24 6
1443 Side effects may include huffing and puffing and hallucinations about farm animals 1.2812 0.04428 128 95 30 3
1444 It's true this one doesn't work so well but there are very few side effects. 1.2812 0.04428 128 95 30 3
1445 ‘This should stop your hallucinations.’ 1.2812 0.04428 128 95 30 3
1446 This should help you. It worked for me. 1.2812 0.04827 128 98 24 6
1447 Trust me, I take the same medication myself. Sure there are side effects but it'll do wonders for your sex life. 1.2812 0.04953 128 99 22 7
1448 I'm going to have to refer you to a different unidentifiable animal. 1.2812 0.04827 128 98 24 6
1449 And take this twice a day for the wild hallucinations. 1.2812 0.04565 128 96 28 4
1450 The pharmacist can explain the side-effects. 1.2812 0.04428 128 95 30 3
1451 I find cheddar works best for this but if it doesn’t we could always try provolone. 1.2812 0.04698 128 97 26 5
1452 Here's a script your insurance is sure not to honor, but the only one that will work. 1.2812 0.04565 128 96 28 4
1453 Take one of these twice a day. The hallucinations should stop in about a week. 1.2812 0.04953 128 99 22 7
1454 Do you have any idea where you might have contracted the plague? 1.2800 0.05279 125 99 17 9
1455 I assure you it's fine. Several of my colleagues were involved in the clinical trials. 1.2800 0.04628 125 94 27 4
1456 It hasn't been tested on humans yet, but I can vouch for it. 1.2800 0.04765 125 95 25 5
1457 We're under a lot of pressure to stop prescribing the stuff that'll blow your house down. 1.2800 0.05156 125 98 19 8
1458 It's either the experimental medication or back to the maze! 1.2800 0.05029 125 97 21 7
1459 This should help pop your eye back in. 1.2800 0.05156 125 98 19 8
1460 You have the plague. Please find a different doctor the next time around. 1.2800 0.04628 125 94 27 4
1461 Not to worry, I take it too and the side effects are minimal. 1.2800 0.04487 125 93 29 3
1462 I take these myself and there are no side effects! 1.2800 0.04765 125 95 25 5
1463 Do not try to get the store brand cheese, it’s just not the same. 1.2800 0.04765 125 95 25 5
1464 Just stick to cheese 1.2800 0.04765 125 95 25 5
1465 I don't like this medical coverage you have, they treat doctors like vermin. 1.2800 0.04340 125 92 31 2
1466 I take 2 of these before music festivals and dinners with my in-laws. They are very effective. 1.2800 0.04628 125 94 27 4
1467 I've written it down for you: left,right,left,left,right,left,Meds. 1.2800 0.05029 125 97 21 7
1468 Disregard Rodent Xpress, we’re Rodentia Medical Associates now. 1.2800 0.04487 125 93 29 3
1469 After your gene edit, you can redeem this half off any item coupon at Animal Chow. 1.2800 0.04899 125 96 23 6
1470 I don't give a rat's ass about google...just start taking this! 1.2800 0.04628 125 94 27 4
1471 You may experience a strong fear of cats. 1.2800 0.04628 125 94 27 4
1472 At the next full moon, take two and call me in the morning. 1.2800 0.04628 125 94 27 4
1473 Take one of these three times a day and stay OUT of sewers. 1.2800 0.04899 125 96 23 6
1474 For some of us, the rat race was the only way out. 1.2800 0.04487 125 93 29 3
1475 Take this prescription and avoid human contact like the plague. 1.2800 0.04899 125 96 23 6
1476 Take this to allow you to cope with the bill 1.2800 0.04628 125 94 27 4
1477 This prescription will change your life 1.2800 0.05029 125 97 21 7
1478 Well, it worked for me! 1.2800 0.05029 125 97 21 7
1479 I was suffering from the same thing. Look at me now. 1.2800 0.04765 125 95 25 5
1480 A year's worth of opioids. Hey, pal, if you can't trust your doc, who can you trust? 1.2787 0.04974 122 94 22 6
1481 I take this myself, and, so far, no apparent side effects. 1.2787 0.04836 122 93 24 5
1482 I know what you're thinking, but trust me. Who is better to help you with the stress of the rat race? 1.2787 0.04836 122 93 24 5
1483 Big Pharma? Who dat? 1.2787 0.04974 122 94 22 6
1484 Take two little red riding hoods and call me in the morning. 1.2787 0.05109 122 95 20 7
1485 Take one of these every morning. They'll help with the hallucinations. 1.2787 0.04974 122 94 22 6
1486 I'm prescribing a taste of your own medicine 1.2787 0.04396 122 90 30 2
1487 Oh, and welcome to Baltimore. 1.2787 0.05109 122 95 20 7
1488 I would say take these and come back to see me, but you won't see me. 1.2787 0.05109 122 95 20 7
1489 I don't accept your insurance, but if you have any peanut butter... 1.2787 0.04974 122 94 22 6
1490 Just grind it up in your food, you'll never notice it. 1.2787 0.05109 122 95 20 7
1491 Take two pills, twice a day with cheese. 1.2787 0.05109 122 95 20 7
1492 Take one of these next time she's in heat. 1.2787 0.05109 122 95 20 7
1493 Don’t worry it’s completely safe, we tested it on mice. 1.2787 0.04836 122 93 24 5
1494 No, tempting as it is, I will not comment on the role of my species in the current political dialogue. 1.2787 0.04974 122 94 22 6
1495 It works on my friends; it should work for you. 1.2787 0.05109 122 95 20 7
1496 I participated in the clinical trial myself; there are no side-effects. 1.2787 0.04974 122 94 22 6
1497 It'll work, but you don't want to know who they tested it on. 1.2787 0.04694 122 92 26 4
1498 *I want you to try this new drug for boosting your brain power. I personally tested it. 1.2787 0.04547 122 91 28 3
1499 Take two of these and call me in the morning. Not too early, since I walk the sewers all night, okay? 1.2787 0.04974 122 94 22 6
1500 Three slices daily -- American, not Swiss 1.2787 0.05109 122 95 20 7
1501 It's still an experimental drug but it's been rat tested. 1.2787 0.04396 122 90 30 2
1502 All the better to treat you with... 1.2787 0.04694 122 92 26 4
1503 His office is in the sewer, but he's a good man. 1.2787 0.04974 122 94 22 6
1504 (All this says is "cheese") 1.2787 0.04694 122 92 26 4
1505 Let me know if this one has fewer side effects. 1.2787 0.04694 122 92 26 4
1506 So many animal studies! Now it is your turn. 1.2787 0.04547 122 91 28 3
1507 Trust me, my whole family is in the business 1.2787 0.05239 122 96 18 8
1508 It had amazing results in the rat trials. 1.2787 0.04836 122 93 24 5
1509 Chinese Astrology gets us right... The Rat is hardworking, curious, trustworthy, honest , and insightful. I'm sure you will agree! 1.2787 0.04694 122 92 26 4
1510 Take 2 of these each morning with cheese. 1.2787 0.04694 122 92 26 4
1511 Trust me on this--I test everything I prescribe. 1.2783 0.05024 115 88 22 5
1512 Here’s your prescription, Mr. Sackler. 1.2783 0.05174 115 89 20 6
1513 Yes it has been tested and no side effects noted. Why do you ask? 1.2778 0.04733 126 96 25 5
1514 Don't worry, 'rodenticide' is just the generic name. 1.2778 0.04733 126 96 25 5
1515 Take this 3 times a day; I've tried it myself in multiple studies 1.2778 0.04733 126 96 25 5
1516 Don't worry, we tested it — I was part of the team! 1.2778 0.04733 126 96 25 5
1517 Don't tell anyone where you got it. 1.2778 0.04865 126 97 23 6
1518 I recommend 12 ounces of gouda, smoked. 1.2778 0.04994 126 98 21 7
1519 Trust me,I'm a rat. 1.2778 0.04597 126 95 27 4
1520 Seriously, this guy’s my go-to guy. 1.2778 0.04456 126 94 29 3
1521 Don't be alarmed. I have to wear this just until my med school loans are paid off. Trust me. 1.2778 0.04865 126 97 23 6
1522 There are barely any side effects. 1.2778 0.04865 126 97 23 6
1523 Here's my card. I think you'll do better to call me at the new moon. 1.2778 0.04456 126 94 29 3
1524 Trust me it's just a cold. Here is a prescription for the cough. But look, I resent your plague diagnosis. That was a long time ago. 1.2778 0.05242 126 100 17 9
1525 Take two of these and see if you can find your way throught the parking garage to your car. 1.2778 0.04456 126 94 29 3
1526 After taking these, you may see some changes in your appearance. But don't worry, it's temporary. 1.2778 0.04865 126 97 23 6
1527 It's the least I can do for giving you the plague. 1.2778 0.04865 126 97 23 6
1528 This is experimental, but I haven’t dropped dead yet. 1.2778 0.04597 126 95 27 4
1529 Side effects may include headaches, nausea, and hallucinations. 1.2778 0.04733 126 96 25 5
1530 Here's my card - you'll note that I can help you with those migranes AND eat your garbage. 1.2778 0.04865 126 97 23 6
1531 Believe me, it works I use it myself 1.2778 0.04865 126 97 23 6
1532 I'm just going to run you through some tests. 1.2778 0.04733 126 96 25 5
1533 It's a new federal drug program... I'm from Baltimore 1.2778 0.04733 126 96 25 5
1534 They're harmless! Look at me! 1.2778 0.04456 126 94 29 3
1535 This drug works best when taken with moldy food scraps. 1.2778 0.04865 126 97 23 6
1536 Take two tablespoons of Cheez Whiz every six hours and get back to me after the weekend. 1.2778 0.04865 126 97 23 6
1537 Why would i try to poison you? 1.2778 0.04994 126 98 21 7
1538 You have nothing to worry about Mr. Paker. I personally tested this medication on some of my closest friends. 1.2778 0.04733 126 96 25 5
1539 You'll be fine. I took it and there were no side effects. 1.2778 0.04994 126 98 21 7
1540 Results from clinical trials on this have been mixed. 1.2778 0.04733 126 96 25 5
1541 Take these and scurry through the park every day. 1.2778 0.04994 126 98 21 7
1542 You can fill it at any pharmacy in Baltimore 1.2778 0.04994 126 98 21 7
1543 No humans were harmed in testing this new drug. 1.2778 0.04597 126 95 27 4
1544 Giving you this script makes me feel like a rat. 1.2778 0.04733 126 96 25 5
1545 You're gonna want to take this with a block of cheese. 1.2778 0.04865 126 97 23 6
1546 no worries, I used to be a veterinarian 1.2778 0.04994 126 98 21 7
1547 I'd like you to take massive amounts of this new drug for the next six months. Let me know if it's safe and effective. 1.2778 0.04865 126 97 23 6
1548 Take one each morning for the hallucinations. 1.2778 0.04865 126 97 23 6
1549 Look Harry, get over it. The whole grandma thing was long ago. I've changed and moved on. 1.2778 0.04994 126 98 21 7
1550 For the last time, Mr. Johnson- Take two by mouth each morning, and the urges to eat your neighbor's chickens will stop. Take it from me. 1.2778 0.04312 126 93 31 2
1551 Of course it’s safe. I tested it on my own mother! 1.2778 0.04597 126 95 27 4
1552 Yes, I'm a real doctor; those are my sheepskins on the wall. 1.2778 0.04733 126 96 25 5
1553 I'm a Johns Hopkins rat. I know stuff. 1.2778 0.04597 126 95 27 4
1554 Don’t flush any extra pills down the toilet or you’ll poison my Aunt Nettie. 1.2778 0.04865 126 97 23 6
1555 It's great to be an American! Here even the lowly rat can reach the highest professional levels. 1.2778 0.04865 126 96 23 6
1556 Hey. Grab me a cheese danish when you go by the lab. 1.2778 0.04597 126 95 27 4
1557 If the pills taste bitter, try hiding them in cheese. 1.2778 0.04733 126 96 25 5
1558 As a drug test participant I can honestly say, there are no side effects with this drug. 1.2778 0.04456 126 94 29 3
1559 These are the best. They were tested on myself. 1.2778 0.04865 126 97 23 6
1560 It’s a prescription for a sleep aid and some Swiss cheese for me 1.2778 0.04865 126 97 23 6
1561 This is necessary after a radioactive rat bite. Trust me, I learned the hard way. 1.2778 0.04865 126 97 23 6
1562 If the hallucinations don't subside within two days call me. Sara at the billing desk will take your cheese. 1.2778 0.04456 126 94 29 3
1563 Just take this Rx over to Nurse Squirrel, and she'll run it over to check out. 1.2778 0.04994 126 97 21 7
1564 This card you will get you in to see the squirrel docs. If you want to see me, I need to see the cash up front. 1.2778 0.04865 126 97 23 6
1565 Trust me -- I'm cheeseboard-certified. 1.2778 0.04865 126 97 23 6
1566 It’s only a clinical trial, but it’s been shown to improve outcomes in rats. 1.2778 0.04733 126 96 25 5
1567 What makes you think I would tell people about your condition? 1.2778 0.04994 126 98 21 7
1568 I’m afraid you’ll have to get used to my good looks Mr Jenkins because I’m the only Doc within 100 miles who’s willing to take Medicaid patients. 1.2778 0.04865 126 97 23 6
1569 Actually, I used to be a rat lab myself. 1.2778 0.04733 126 96 25 5
1570 The trial pays 20 pellets a day, but the real reward is you'll be contributing to the health of rats all over the world! 1.2778 0.04865 126 97 23 6
1571 As for side effects, with any luck, you'll be a cat. 1.2764 0.04939 123 95 22 6
1572 Take one pill before bed and stop watching the Democratic debates. 1.2764 0.04939 123 95 22 6
1573 Don't human me out. 1.2759 0.04987 116 89 22 5
1574 Thank you for volunteering for our animal testing program, it's very important that we know if these drugs are suitable for vermin consumption. 1.2750 0.05016 120 90 21 6
1575 You'll need to take this 3 times a day until your hallucinations stop completely. 1.2750 0.05016 120 93 21 6
1576 Make sure to take two before the maze 1.2750 0.05418 120 96 15 9
1577 Alright, I'm writing a prescription for 80mg Oxycontins. Those are the good ones. If you find that they're too strong for your shoulder pain, just, I don't know, cut 'em in half with a credit card. Or sell them to your kid or his friends or whatever. 1.2750 0.05153 120 94 19 7
1578 Don’t worry; I tested it on myself first. 1.2750 0.05016 120 93 21 6
1579 Take two cubes of cheese and call me in the morning. 1.2750 0.05016 120 93 21 6
1580 Take my card and call me if you get enough cheese to get your eye fixed 1.2750 0.05153 120 94 19 7
1581 I tested this medicine myself, back when I worked in the lab. 1.2750 0.04728 120 91 25 4
1582 Guess who's getting the placebo? 1.2750 0.05418 120 96 15 9
1583 It's no cheese, but it does help with the withdrawal symptoms. 1.2750 0.04874 120 92 23 5
1584 Needed? Do I look like someone who'd overprescribe for a kickback? 1.2750 0.05016 120 93 21 6
1585 You can trust this one, I`ve experimented it myself 1.2750 0.05016 120 93 21 6
1586 I assure you that I passed the maze test with flying colors. 1.2750 0.04578 120 90 27 3
1587 Take two of these every morning with a slice of cheese. 1.2750 0.04728 120 91 25 4
1588 As you can see sir, I was born in this infested place! 1.2750 0.05016 120 93 21 6
1589 The better to cure you with. 1.2750 0.05288 120 95 17 8
1590 Tust me. It's Baltimore, we're everywhere. 1.2750 0.05016 120 93 21 6
1591 Side effects may include strong cheese cravings. 1.2750 0.05016 120 93 21 6
1592 this'll take care of your nose hair. 1.2750 0.04728 120 91 25 4
1593 This is no mickey mouse operation. 1.2750 0.04578 120 90 27 3
1594 Yes, I know it seems unusual. But I assure you, only I can validate your parking 1.2750 0.05016 120 93 21 6
1595 Trust me. I know about lab testing. 1.2750 0.04728 120 91 25 4
1596 If these don't stop the hallucinations, I'm going to recommend checking you into the maze. 1.2750 0.05016 120 93 21 6
1597 You may crave cheese and burrowing, but otherwise there are no side effects. 1.2750 0.04728 120 91 25 4
1598 It worked in the lab... 1.2750 0.04728 120 91 25 4
1599 Sorry, back to the Race. 1.2750 0.05016 120 93 21 6
1600 Take this down to Maze 4. 1.2750 0.04874 120 92 23 5
1601 Just tell them that Dr. Fink sent you 1.2750 0.04578 120 90 27 3
1602 Here is a prescription for Zofran to treat your vertigo. In the future I suggest leaving maze-running to the experts. 1.2750 0.05016 120 93 21 6
1603 I am sorry. Animal scientists don’t study these things. 1.2750 0.05016 120 93 21 6
1604 The meds I'm prescribing have been tested by my team in the lab 1.2750 0.04874 120 92 23 5
1605 No, really, this prescription will help stop your hallucinations! 1.2750 0.05153 120 94 19 7
1606 Do you think I would give you a prescription without knowing the side effects? 1.2750 0.04578 120 90 27 3
1607 I'd email this prescription to you, but my mouse is broken. 1.2750 0.05016 120 93 21 6
1608 It’s a get out of hospital free card 1.2750 0.05153 120 94 19 7
1609 Now when you get these glasses, make sure to ask for the extra long frames 1.2735 0.04798 117 89 24 4
1610 You have to be very careful. These pills have severe side effects. They can make you feel very good, but don’t, take more than prescribed. Trust me. I know. 1.2735 0.04798 117 89 24 4
1611 And on the back is one dollar off your next pizza 1.2735 0.04798 117 89 24 4
1612 I caused the plague, I never said I could cure it. 1.2727 0.04545 121 91 27 3
1613 Relax, It's for your wife. 1.2727 0.04232 121 89 31 1
1614 Frankly I don’t give a rat’s ass. 1.2712 0.05337 118 94 16 8
1615 Welcome to Philadelphia. 1.2712 0.05058 118 92 20 6
1616 I advise inserting capsules in a piece of cheese. The more aromatic, the better. 1.2712 0.04913 118 91 22 5
1617 I'm prescribing something a little stronger this time: a nice Gorgonzola. 1.2712 0.04763 118 90 24 4
1618 If you insist, but remember-I've been carrying bubonic plague for years. 1.2712 0.05602 118 96 12 10
1619 Seriously. You need to stop with the Baltimore talk. It's affecting everything you do. 1.2712 0.04913 118 91 22 5
1620 These should take care of the hallucinations but I can't do anything about the lack of whiskers. 1.2712 0.05337 118 94 16 8
1621 Yes, seeing mice everywhere is a listed side effect of this drug. If it bothers you, there is one where you see cats instead. 1.2712 0.04763 118 90 24 4
1622 No you’re freaking out! 1.2712 0.05058 118 92 20 6
1623 The side effects aren't that bad, Bob. I've been taking it for years and have only noticed an increased appetite for cheese. 1.2712 0.05058 118 92 20 6
1624 Of course I don’t take kickbacks. What do I look like? 1.2712 0.04609 118 89 26 3
1625 Yes, I once infested Baltimore, like Trump now infests the White House. 1.2712 0.04110 118 91 24 3
1626 It’s a prescription for Warfarin 1.2712 0.05058 118 92 20 6
1627 Thank you for your participation. We're always looking for good lab humans. 1.2712 0.05058 118 92 20 6
1628 You smell a rat, eh? Well, I smell a man who needs a prescription for man up! 1.2712 0.05471 118 95 14 9
1629 Take one pill with one piece of garbage every morning and again at night 1.2712 0.04609 118 89 26 3
1630 It's a business card, not the plague. 1.2712 0.05058 118 92 20 6
1631 Of course it's safe. I use it mysey! 1.2712 0.05058 118 92 20 6
1632 It was tested on me and my extended family 1.2712 0.04913 118 91 22 5
1633 Take two a day and your man-or-mouse dilemma should resolve 1.2712 0.04609 118 89 26 3
1634 You can’t pay me in artificial sweeteners. Do you know what that stuff does to lab mice? 1.2712 0.04913 118 91 22 5
1635 personally the only side effect is your true self comes out 1.2712 0.05058 118 92 20 6
1636 Chew this prescription three times a day 1.2712 0.04763 118 90 24 4
1637 I have to warn you they’ve only tested this on rats. 1.2712 0.05058 118 92 20 6
1638 Ive booked you a maze test. Look what it did for me. 1.2712 0.04763 118 90 24 4
1639 No, really, all my relatives swear by it. 1.2712 0.05058 118 92 20 6
1640 It' s not cheap but the price will come down under Bernie's plan. 1.2712 0.04913 118 91 22 5
1641 I'm going to start you on Garbage. 1.2712 0.05199 118 93 18 7
1642 Don't leave these pills where the dog can get them 1.2712 0.04913 118 91 22 5
1643 ...and no maze running while you're taking these. 1.2712 0.04913 118 91 22 5
1644 This should help you relax and stop thinking of life as a futile maze. 1.2712 0.05337 118 94 16 8
1645 Try these,...counting sheep didn't work for me either. 1.2712 0.04609 118 89 26 3
1646 It’s just a blood-thinner. You’ll be fine. 1.2712 0.04913 118 91 22 5
1647 This should help with your hallucinations. You'll drink a lot of water and you might explode. 1.2712 0.05058 118 92 20 6
1648 It's not uncommon to see rats everywhere, especially in the city. But this should help. 1.2712 0.04913 118 90 21 5
1649 Well, it was safe enough to test it on me. 1.2712 0.04609 118 89 26 3
1650 It's poison to me, but it will cure your blood clot. 1.2712 0.04913 118 91 22 5
1651 The initials next to my name on the diplomas stand for Registered Allergy Therapist." 1.2712 0.05337 118 94 16 8
1652 Here. This prescription will help to determine which unnecessary procedure we'll do first. 1.2712 0.04763 118 90 24 4
1653 Yes, I'm a Bandicoot, not a rat. Did my Australian accent gave it away? 1.2696 0.04674 115 87 25 3
1654 These cheese packets should do the trick. 1.2696 0.04835 115 88 23 4
1655 But it hasn't been tested yet on humans. 1.2696 0.05141 115 90 19 6
1656 This prescription should work for you. We use it all the time. 1.2696 0.05141 115 90 19 6
1657 This note is for your ophthalmologist to prescribe new glasses for you. 1.2696 0.05287 115 91 17 7
1658 Take these and you too can be an anthropomorphic animal doctor. 1.2696 0.04835 115 88 23 4
1659 No. No side effects. Why do you ask? 1.2696 0.04990 115 89 21 5
1660 Take one of these a day, but keep them away from your cat. 1.2696 0.05141 115 90 19 6
1661 Trust me! The benefits outweigh the risks. 1.2696 0.05429 115 92 15 8
1662 In med school they said funny masks would help patients relax. 1.2696 0.05141 115 90 19 6
1663 Of course,​ I'm a qualified psychologist, I've worked in psych labs all my life. 1.2696 0.04674 115 87 25 3
1664 It's totally safe. In fact, my 413 cousins were personally involved in the clinical trials.... 1.2696 0.04835 115 88 23 4
1665 Here’s the number to my personal dermatologist. 1.2696 0.05429 115 92 15 8
1666 Tell the New Yorker editors that the caption contest finalists are not available on the iPad app. 1.2696 0.05287 115 91 17 7
1667 Side effects include hallucinations and bulging eyes. 1.2685 0.05028 108 83 21 4
1668 The position is in our Human Resources department. 1.2685 0.05028 108 83 21 4
1669 I didn't fell like shaving this morning. 1.2672 0.04798 116 89 23 4
1670 Here's a prescription of anticoagulant humanicides, you only need to take one. 1.2672 0.05101 116 91 19 6
1671 Look, it helped me develop swarthy good looks, it can work for you too. 1.2672 0.04952 116 90 21 5
1672 Trust me, the warfarin will keep you alive. 1.2672 0.04798 116 89 23 4
1673 Take two of these and an electric shock every morning. 1.2672 0.04798 116 89 23 4
1674 Yes there are lots of mazes to solve and hoops to jump through for Med school, luckily I came well prepared. 1.2672 0.04640 116 88 25 3
1675 Don’t worry, it’s been proven to work in doctors. 1.2672 0.05101 116 91 19 6
1676 You're going to be just fine, Mr. Piper. Have this filled at the dumpster in the alley to your left. 1.2672 0.04798 116 89 23 4
1677 Take two tablets daily till I start looking human. 1.2672 0.04952 116 90 21 5
1678 Take two Babybel's and call me in the morning. 1.2672 0.05246 116 92 17 7
1679 Now I'm going to ask you a series of questions about cheese... 1.2672 0.04952 116 90 21 5
1680 It's a prescription for bug eye. 1.2672 0.05101 116 91 19 6
1681 You are suffering from delusions. I’m a meta physician, so all i can give you is a meta prescription 1.2672 0.05101 116 91 19 6
1682 Grandmother, what a big prescription pad you have. Yes dear, the better to addict you. 1.2672 0.05525 116 94 13 9
1683 No, there is not an anal option. 1.2672 0.05246 116 92 17 7
1684 Take two poison pellets and call me in the morning. 1.2672 0.05101 116 91 19 6
1685 I can assure you that a degree from Halfratman University is just as valid as any Ivy League school. 1.2672 0.05101 116 91 19 6
1686 And here’s one ‘Get-Out-Of-Maze-Free’ card to help those nightmares! 1.2672 0.04952 116 90 21 5
1687 Thank you for your application to the Diversity Board, but we already have a human. Might I suggest the dog park? Here's the chihuahua's contact info. 1.2672 0.04952 116 90 21 5
1688 Trust me. They give me this stuff every day and it hasn't killed me yet. 1.2672 0.05246 116 92 17 7
1689 Just nibble each pill three times a day. 1.2672 0.05101 116 91 19 6
1690 This is a prescription for rat poison. Just kidding. It is for your musophobia. 1.2672 0.04640 116 88 25 3
1691 Cat phobias are very real. Try this. 1.2672 0.04475 116 87 27 2
1692 These got me through the plague. I’m sure they can handle E.D. 1.2672 0.05101 116 91 19 6
1693 Don’t worry. I have a degree from Johns Hopkins. 1.2672 0.04798 116 89 23 4
1694 Oy vey 1.2672 0.05246 116 92 17 7
1695 Good luck navigating the insurance industry maze for this prescription. 1.2672 0.04952 116 90 21 5
1696 It’s a loyalty card, for not ratting me out. 1.2672 0.04952 116 90 21 5
1697 One man's poison is another man's blood thinner 1.2672 0.04952 116 90 21 5
1698 Trust me. Pharmaceutical reps have stopped offering me wilderness trips. 1.2672 0.05246 116 92 17 7
1699 I'm prescribing a taste of your own medicine, otherwise kown as rat poison. 1.2672 0.05101 116 91 19 6
1700 Of all the drugs they tested on me, I found this one gave me the least tumors. 1.2672 0.05387 116 93 15 8
1701 And remember—even if you win the human race, you’re still a human. 1.2672 0.04952 116 90 21 5
1702 One small side effect is the need to burrow. 1.2672 0.04640 116 88 25 3
1703 Limburger cheese, with meals, three times a day. Don't eat it. Sit it on your window sill. 1.2672 0.04798 116 89 23 4
1704 This prescription will take care of everything that ails you...except overgrown nose hairs. 1.2672 0.05101 116 91 19 6
1705 Here. It's a cheese scented Medicare card. All of my patients love it. 1.2650 0.04763 117 90 23 4
1706 Here's your prescription for humanitis. 1.2650 0.04763 117 90 23 4
1707 Take cheese and call me tomorrow." 1.2650 0.04605 117 89 25 3
1708 This should stop the hallucinations. 1.2650 0.04763 117 90 23 4
1709 This prescription was a big hit back in my lab days. 1.2650 0.04763 117 90 23 4
1710 Yes, side affects can include hallucinations, why do you ask? 1.2650 0.04763 117 90 23 4
1711 Listen, Frank, I know it's not "evidence based," but I can't tell you how many of my patients have felt better after eating garbage! 1.2650 0.04763 117 90 23 4
1712 Sorry for biting you, here is your prescription for your rabies shots. 1.2650 0.05063 117 92 19 6
1713 You think it’s easy being me! 1.2650 0.04763 117 90 23 4
1714 So you think you're the Pied Piper; and you see what when you look at me? 1.2650 0.04915 117 91 21 5
1715 Did I mention your medications hallucinogenic side effects? 1.2650 0.04274 117 87 29 1
1716 It's for motion sickness. You'll want to leave the ship only if it's starting to sink. 1.2650 0.05063 117 92 19 6
1717 Trust me, it's safe — I tested it on myself. 1.2650 0.04605 117 89 25 3
1718 You can fill this prescription at your local pet store. 1.2650 0.04915 117 91 21 5
1719 I don't see patients named Katz so here's a referral to Dr. Jack Russell. 1.2650 0.05063 117 92 19 6
1720 I can’t tell you if this is for cocaine or the sugar water. 1.2650 0.04605 117 89 25 3
1721 I went to Johns Hopkins. So? 1.2650 0.05063 117 92 19 6
1722 ~ REPUBLICAN HEALTHCARE PLAN ~ [Abnormally loud]...Sorry I wasn't able to help, Mr Wilson...[Whispering] go to the alley behind the building, you will see a black van, knock three times, give them this prescription... 1.2650 0.05482 117 95 13 9
1723 A lot of patients have been helped by this. It’s called Jarlsberg. 1.2650 0.05063 117 92 19 6
1724 You think I take the Hipporatic oath lightly? 1.2650 0.04605 117 89 25 3
1725 She’s a snake, but she’s the best in her field. 1.2650 0.05206 117 93 17 7
1726 Hopefully you won't have the same side effects as we did. 1.2650 0.04605 117 89 25 3
1727 Your insurance company, the pharmaceutical industry, the healthcare system… Rats, we are all rats. 1.2650 0.04915 117 91 21 5
1728 Trust me, I used to be like you 1.2650 0.04915 117 91 21 5
1729 Trust me. I spent a lot of time in the lab before I got this job. 1.2650 0.04915 117 91 21 5
1730 Take two a day. Call me in a week and let me know if you are still seeing rats everywhere you look. 1.2650 0.04443 117 88 27 2
1731 Cheese 3 times a day, that should solve your problem. 1.2650 0.04763 117 90 23 4
1732 Yes, it will change your appearance but you'll be able to earn a whole lot of medical degrees in no time at all. 1.2650 0.04915 117 91 21 5
1733 Here's my card, call me if you need any more help in this rat race 1.2650 0.04763 117 90 23 4
1734 I'm almost certain it won't have the same effect on you. 1.2650 0.05063 117 92 19 6
1735 It’s for the sake of science, so it’s totally worth it. 1.2650 0.04443 117 88 27 2
1736 Yes, “Flowers for Algernon” was based on my life, and no, I didn’t see a penny. Where’s a good lawyer when you need one? 1.2632 0.04834 114 88 22 4
1737 We cause preexisting conditions. 1.2632 0.04992 114 89 20 5
1738 I take them myself and haven't noticed any side effects 1.2632 0.04992 114 89 20 5
1739 And don't even try to weasel out of taking these. 1.2632 0.05294 114 91 16 7
1740 HaVe yOU evEr EAteN raT mEaT? 1.2632 0.04834 114 88 22 4
1741 Pick a card, any card, and we'll find out what's wrong with you." 1.2632 0.04834 114 88 22 4
1742 Trust me, I'm an expert on diseases. 1.2632 0.04834 114 88 22 4
1743 It's a clear case of Rodentia. 1.2632 0.05145 114 90 18 6
1744 I'm not a quack. I'm a squeak. 1.2632 0.04671 114 87 24 3
1745 Here you go Mr. Spiegelman. If you continue to experience any more hallucinations take deep breaths and try to relax. If they persist call the office, and contact your congressman. This shouldn't last 4 more years. 1.2632 0.04834 114 88 22 4
1746 Of course these work. Mickey takes 2 a day and look how young he looks. 1.2632 0.04502 114 86 26 2
1747 I'm worried about the weight gain. Do you have a maze membership? 1.2627 0.04878 118 92 21 5
1748 take this. it will put hair on your nose. 1.2621 0.05155 103 80 19 4
1749 No problem. We have been seeing this a lot with people who have been spending too much time in Canada, Colorado or Washington State. 1.2613 0.04909 111 86 21 4
1750 Here's my reference. I was a lab rat - now I'm a genius. 1.2613 0.04909 111 86 21 4
1751 Here... this should take the edge off the rat race existence you’ve been experiencing 1.2613 0.05232 111 88 17 6
1752 If these don't work, I'll send you to Dr. Zebra for more tests. 1.2613 0.04563 111 84 25 2
1753 I'm not saying plastic surgery doesn't work, just that there are no guarantees. 1.2613 0.04909 111 86 21 4
1754 At least you had the option to volunteer for our lab experiments. 1.2613 0.04563 111 84 25 2
1755 It's for Warfarin, a blood thinner also used as rat poison. Here's a taste of your own medicine. 1.2613 0.04909 111 85 21 3
1756 I gather that you didn't know "Flowers for Algernon" had an alternate ending. 1.2613 0.04909 111 86 21 4
1757 From one rat to another rat, take one. 1.2613 0.04909 111 86 21 4
1758 We don't accept your insurance, but we will accept some cheese. 1.2613 0.05073 111 85 19 5
1759 Your copay is $280 in canine collars, sir. 1.2613 0.04909 111 86 21 4
1760 Trust ME! This is not the time to jump ship! 1.2613 0.05073 111 87 19 5
1761 Trust me. I wouldn't prescribe anything that wasn't already tested on me. 1.2613 0.04739 111 85 23 3
1762 Sorry I am being paged,one of the patients needs more cheese. 1.2613 0.04909 111 86 21 4
1763 Try to grab this before I jerk it away. 1.2613 0.05232 111 88 17 6
1764 You look like you’ve never watched Arthur 1.2613 0.05232 111 88 17 6
1765 You should've gotten a letter from your HMO - we've just added a pharmaceutical weasel tax to your copay. 1.2613 0.04909 111 86 21 4
1766 30,000 ants q.d. 1.2613 0.05386 111 89 15 7
1767 When you get to the lab, ask for “Algernon”. 1.2613 0.04909 111 86 21 4
1768 Hey, we're all test rats. 1.2613 0.04739 111 84 23 3
1769 Here, these should help deter the hallucinations. 1.2613 0.05073 111 89 16 6
1770 It's perfectly safe. I've been taking it for years. 1.2613 0.04739 111 85 23 3
1771 Normally, I would prescribe the generic, but in this case, you're going to want to go with the name brand stuff. 1.2613 0.05073 111 87 19 5
1772 My kind know how to avoid traps, especially ones set by Medicare." 1.2613 0.05073 111 87 19 5
1773 You can take this but it won’t help you with your lack of insight. 1.2613 0.04909 111 86 21 4
1774 You are lucky I was there to give you a mouse-to-mouth resuscitation 1.2613 0.05073 111 87 19 5
1775 1500mg warfarin, twice a day with water. You won't need to see me again. 1.2613 0.05073 111 87 19 5
1776 This is a Prescription which should help take care of the illusions you seem to be suffering from. 1.2613 0.04909 111 86 21 4
1777 Chase rabbits. You get a good run and a healthy diet at the end. 1.2613 0.04909 111 86 21 4
1778 So, I recommend this for your symptoms but heck, it's just rat poison. 1.2613 0.05386 111 86 15 7
1779 These are truly amazing. Look what they did for me. 1.2613 0.04739 111 85 23 3
1780 I recommend these because I participated in the clinical trials. 1.2613 0.04739 111 85 23 3
1781 This will take care of the huffing and puffing. 1.2613 0.05232 111 88 17 6
1782 "The mozzarella didn't seem to work, so I'm changing your prescription to cheddar" 1.2613 0.04739 111 85 23 3
1783 I can personally vouch for its effectiveness. 1.2613 0.04909 111 86 21 4
1784 I've tested this one myself. 1.2613 0.05536 111 90 13 8
1785 I told you I’m not interested in the nose Rogaine prescription. 1.2613 0.05073 111 87 19 5
1786 It’s warfarin to you, not rat poison 1.2613 0.04909 111 86 21 4
1787 Rub this on your penis and it will increase your sperm count. Also, I ate your wife's eggs. 1.2613 0.05073 111 87 19 5
1788 Gary, you've gotta quit going for those cheese platters. 1.2613 0.04909 111 86 21 4
1789 Not all of us are veterinarians. 1.2613 0.04909 111 86 21 4
1790 Take this referral to physical therapy, it's just at the other end of the maze. 1.2613 0.04739 111 85 23 3
1791 We’re called “The AristocRATS”. We play every Friday at 8pm, you should stop by! 1.2613 0.05073 111 87 19 5
1792 This will have you normal looking in a day or so. 1.2613 0.04739 111 85 23 3
1793 Don't worry - they were tested on humans. 1.2613 0.05073 111 87 19 5
1794 Thanks for coming to our Baltimore Clinic The President is woefully misinformed. 1.2613 0.05232 111 88 17 6
1795 Here, this is for your hallucinations. 1.2613 0.04739 111 85 23 3
1796 I know, but I'm the best doctor you're gonna find here in Baltimore. 1.2613 0.04909 111 86 21 4
1797 These meds can be a little rough on your stomach, I recommend taking them with garbage. 1.2613 0.04909 111 86 21 4
1798 Hmmm... I see you may have killed my brother!!! 1.2613 0.04909 111 86 21 4
1799 ...And be sure to take it with cheese. 1.2613 0.05073 111 87 19 5
1800 You can get this filled in the dairy aisle 1.2613 0.05386 111 89 15 7
1801 This isn't an actual prescription, just some made up words I wrote down to make you feel better about yourself. 1.2613 0.05073 111 87 19 5
1802 So, "Mr. Orkin Man," the tables have finally turned. No pain pills for you! 1.2613 0.04909 111 86 21 4
1803 Trust me, I'm a doctor. 1.2613 0.04909 111 86 21 4
1804 Whaddya mean ‘I smell a rat.’? 1.2613 0.04563 111 84 25 2
1805 I prescribed a week's rest at the Wolf Head Inn. This will cover your first 2 nights. 1.2613 0.05232 111 88 17 6
1806 Trust me, you can take blood thinners even if they were first developed as rat poison. 1.2613 0.04909 111 86 21 4
1807 No, I’ve never seen “Doctor Strange.” Why do you ask? 1.2613 0.04739 111 85 23 3
1808 Here's the name of a specialist I know in Baltimore. 1.2613 0.04739 111 85 23 3
1809 Trust me, Wolf these down and you’ll relax. 1.2613 0.04739 111 85 23 3
1810 You can stop the experiment any time you want, just by inserting this in the right slot. But we dissect you in any case. 1.2613 0.05073 111 87 19 5
1811 Don’t worry. It’s proven effective when tested on lawyers. 1.2613 0.05232 111 88 17 6
1812 Your cholesterol is too high. Lay off the cheese. 1.2613 0.04909 111 86 21 4
1813 ... And which physician referred you to the Baltimore Neurosurgical Center? 1.2613 0.05825 111 92 9 10
1814 You need to join the Teamsters. 1.2613 0.04909 111 86 21 4
1815 Careful with this blood thinner. My mother died from it. 1.2613 0.05386 111 89 15 7
1816 I know it's not traditional medicine, but think you could benefit from a visit to the catnip dispensary. 1.2613 0.05386 111 89 15 7
1817 Now that you're here we may as well get you tested for the Plague. 1.2613 0.04739 111 85 22 3
1818 Look, if it can happen to me, it can happen to you. 1.2613 0.04909 111 86 21 4
1819 Sorry, I don’t accept Humama insurance 1.2613 0.05232 111 88 17 6
1820 To eradicate the problem take the whole bottle and have a relative call me in the morning. 1.2613 0.05073 111 87 19 5
1821 I was a lowly lab rat before I took the red pill. 1.2613 0.04909 111 86 21 4
1822 This is the last prescription I'm going to write for you, Peter. We saw Patricia's "faux-fur" coat when she dropped you off. 1.2613 0.05073 111 87 19 5
1823 Don't worry, this drug only rewires your brain so you think rats are good. 1.2613 0.04909 111 86 21 4
1824 "It's just a bad hair day." 1.2613 0.05232 111 88 17 6
1825 Sir, this is your prescription for bulging eyes. 1.2613 0.05232 111 88 17 6
1826 Now that you have taken the medication, what do you see now? 1.2613 0.05386 111 89 15 7
1827 Try 'em. You won't look like a show dog, but you should feel better. 1.2613 0.05073 111 87 19 5
1828 For the last time, I promise I wasn't the one who gave you rabies. 1.2613 0.05073 111 87 19 5
1829 He also is a vet, but he accepts Medicare. 1.2613 0.05073 111 87 19 5
1830 Don't worry, we've tested it on humans. 1.2613 0.04909 111 86 21 4
1831 I'm a fox. You can trust me. 1.2613 0.04739 111 85 23 3
1832 Eat this and call me in the morning. 1.2613 0.04739 111 85 23 3
1833 Based on my personal experience, these pills are safe and effective. 1.2613 0.04563 111 84 25 2
1834 These few weeks of observation will go by quickly. Then I can prescribe it to mice. 1.2613 0.05073 111 87 19 5
1835 Once my four turtle sons grew up I went to medical school. 1.2613 0.04739 111 85 23 3
1836 Bill - cholesterol reduction is important but you're clearly missing my point about personal grooming . . . 1.2613 0.04739 111 85 23 3
1837 Just because i was caught on You Tube eating a slice of pizza in the subway, still doesn't mean that i'm not a damn good doctor! 1.2613 0.04739 111 85 23 3
1838 I used to suffer a lot of anxiety, but this got me out of the maze. 1.2613 0.04739 111 85 23 3
1839 Here's a little something to help with that infested feeling. 1.2613 0.04739 111 85 23 3
1840 Trust me, it's cheaper than surgery, and makes picnics far more enjoyable. 1.2613 0.05073 111 87 19 5
1841 Take 2 pills a day for the hallucinations, but call us next week if you still think talking Apes are the dominant species. 1.2613 0.05232 111 88 17 6
1842 What large bills you have, Doctor! 1.2609 0.05106 115 91 18 6
1843 Here’s your script for your hallucinations. Take three per day with cheese 1.2589 0.04702 112 86 23 3
1844 I want a C-note on the fifth race at Pimlico, Gorgonzola on the nose. 1.2574 0.05006 101 78 20 3
1845 You need penicillin. Go down the hall, take a left, a right, then a left, then a ... aw, just follow the smell of roquefort. 1.2569 0.04591 109 83 24 2
1846 This experimental drug worked wonders on my prostate." 1.2569 0.04591 109 83 24 2
1847 It isn't always a scrip for cheese. 1.2569 0.04947 109 85 20 4
1848 Don't worry. They tested it on my uncle. 1.2569 0.05116 109 86 18 5
1849 These, with a tumbler of good scotch, should stop the hallucinations. 1.2569 0.05116 109 86 18 5
1850 If they try to give you white, insist on yellow. 1.2569 0.04591 109 83 24 2
1851 Try it! My research indicated it is the most effective Recessed Mouth antidote on the market. 1.2569 0.04591 109 83 24 2
1852 Perhaps you'd feel more comfortable talking to one of my colleagues. Here are the numbers for Drs. Wolf, Dr. Fox and Dr. Bird 1.2569 0.05116 109 86 18 5
1853 Yeah, I'm that 10th doctor, and I recommend a pack a day. 1.2569 0.04772 109 84 22 3
1854 One should do it. 1.2569 0.04772 109 84 22 3
1855 This will ring when it's your turn in the maze. 1.2569 0.04772 109 84 22 3
1856 Take it from an old barn rat. It's healthy pharm to table. 1.2569 0.04947 109 85 20 4
1857 Relax, I've vetted this script. 1.2569 0.05116 109 86 18 5
1858 Take with a couple voles, and you'll be right as rain. 1.2569 0.05592 109 89 12 8
1859 Take these with cheese. 1.2569 0.04947 109 85 20 4
1860 This isn't meant to trap you. 1.2569 0.04591 109 83 24 2
1861 They're perfectly safe, I tried them myself. 1.2569 0.04772 109 84 22 3
1862 We just call it poison. 1.2569 0.04947 109 85 20 4
1863 This should help with the huffing and puffing, but you're not gonna want to blow a house in for at least a week or two. 1.2569 0.05279 109 87 16 6
1864 Warfarin is good for you, in moderation. 1.2569 0.05116 109 86 18 5
1865 Side effects? None at all; I even take these myself! 1.2569 0.05116 109 86 18 5
1866 This is what you get for testing this on me 1.2569 0.04772 109 84 22 3
1867 Give this slip at the counter of the Human Trials room. 1.2569 0.05279 109 87 16 6
1868 I tested this medicine and it didn't kill me. 1.2569 0.04947 109 85 20 4
1869 Take three times a day with pizza. 1.2569 0.05116 109 86 18 5
1870 Take this blood thinner and see me again in 2 weeks. 1.2569 0.04947 109 85 20 4
1871 I'm going to give you this prescription, it did wonders for my sinuses. 1.2569 0.04947 109 83 20 4
1872 Sorry, all human specialists are out of network. Here is a referral to a great veterinary neurologist. 1.2569 0.04772 109 84 22 3
1873 Its very effective - I just tested this new drug on myself this morning. 1.2569 0.04947 109 85 20 4
1874 When you take these pellets, you may become thirsty and very tired. 1.2569 0.04947 109 85 20 4
1875 I can vouch for this drug -- it got me through the maze in no time. 1.2569 0.04947 109 85 20 4
1876 Take two pellets - I mean pills - and call me in the morning. 1.2569 0.04947 109 85 20 4
1877 It's for cheese. It always makes me feel better. 1.2569 0.04947 109 85 20 4
1878 As you can see, it did wonders for me. 1.2569 0.04772 109 84 22 3
1879 Take two every full moon. 1.2569 0.04947 109 85 20 4
1880 Take two of these and call an exterminator. 1.2569 0.05279 109 87 16 6
1881 Side effects of the drug are minimal, believe me, I’ve used it several times. 1.2569 0.04947 109 85 20 4
1882 Take two every morning with a soft cheese. 1.2569 0.04947 109 85 20 4
1883 It’s a sketchy med, but don’t rat me out. 1.2569 0.04772 109 84 22 3
1884 Maze run, twice a day, see me in a week. 1.2569 0.04947 109 85 20 4
1885 Wrap the tablet in some chicken or peanut butter and you’ll find it easier to swallow. 1.2569 0.04947 109 85 20 4
1886 Here! Next time you cry Wolf, don't call me! 1.2569 0.04947 109 85 20 4
1887 No side effects! Trust me. I didn't choose the lab life, the lab life chose me. 1.2569 0.04772 109 84 22 3
1888 Yes, I may be an intern but I've done rotations in toxicology at the poison control center. 1.2569 0.05116 109 86 18 5
1889 Take two slices of Emmenthaler or generic Swiss on an empty stomach and call me in the morning. 1.2569 0.05279 109 87 16 6
1890 I've taken this myself for years... This will bring out your inner self... 1.2569 0.04947 109 85 20 4
1891 This should help-- I know the rat race is stressful. 1.2545 0.04368 110 83 26 1
1892 ... and it's non-habit forming. 1.2545 0.04555 110 84 24 2
1893 I know I'm an animal doctor, but the pharmacy will fill this prescription. 1.2523 0.04985 107 84 19 4
1894 This should stop the hallucinations plaguing you. 1.2523 0.04618 107 82 23 2
1895 My colleague grew an ear on this one, but it might help your eczema. 1.2523 0.04805 107 83 21 3
1896 What? Are you afraid it's poison? 1.2523 0.04618 107 81 23 2
1897 Yes, several of us got through Med school in Baltimore, why do you ask? 1.2523 0.05490 107 87 13 7
1898 Oh my, and I thought the Presidents hands were small. 1.2523 0.05159 107 85 17 5
1899 I'm telling you, everybody's going to avoid you like the plague if you get a reputation as a carrier. 1.2523 0.04805 107 83 21 3
1900 Take these; they were clinically rested on rats. 1.2523 0.05159 107 85 17 5
1901 This is the same damn expired credit card that has been laying in my parking lot for the last two weeks. 1.2523 0.04985 107 84 19 4
1902 Haven't you heard of lab rats? 1.2523 0.04985 107 84 19 4
1903 Supposed side effect of cheese cravings? That is based on faulty vegan-based research. 1.2523 0.04805 107 83 21 3
1904 'Rejected'... does this resonate, Mr. Jones ? 1.2523 0.05159 107 85 17 5
1905 Take two nibbles and call me in the morning. 1.2500 0.05423 104 84 14 6
1906 And with this ticket you'll be entitled to free meds in my testing lab. 1.2500 0.05067 104 82 18 4
1907 Let's see if these don't help with the hallucinations. 1.2500 0.04766 108 84 21 3
1908 I suggest you take this prescription after dark and sleep all-day. 1.2500 0.05248 104 83 16 5
1909 This is for the mammoths. Gee, and I thought it was just eczema. 1.2500 0.05067 104 82 18 4
1910 You seem skeptical. Why is that? 1.2500 0.04944 108 85 19 4
1911 I know your head looks horrible now, but this medication should have it back looking like normal in no time. 1.2500 0.05067 104 82 18 4
1912 You'll find the maze is much easier to cope with. 1.2500 0.04480 104 79 24 1
1913 This prescription should help with those hallucinations. 1.2500 0.04879 104 81 20 3
1914 I voted for Trump...now I see rat infestations everywhere...! 1.2500 0.04879 104 81 20 3
1915 Trust me. She's the best cosmetic surgeon I know. 1.2500 0.05248 104 83 16 5
1916 Wolf it down twice per day. 1.2500 0.04766 108 84 21 3
1917 Hey! ... Hey! My eyes are up here. 1.2500 0.05592 104 85 12 7
1918 Your fine Mr. McDoogle, but you need this prescription to enhance your nose hair. 1.2500 0.04879 104 81 20 3
1919 Sorry human doctors aren't within your insurance network 1.2500 0.05067 104 82 18 4
1920 During his company medical it dawns on a whistleblower that the boss might be on to him. 1.2500 0.04944 108 85 19 4
1921 ...but I'm also a client. 1.2500 0.05067 104 82 18 4
1922 Call any time for a rat's ass probe. 1.2500 0.05283 108 87 15 6
1923 Not the 23rd. There's a full moon that night, and I have to rest up for it. 1.2500 0.05248 104 83 16 5
1924 It's definitely the cat 1.2500 0.04879 104 81 20 3
1925 Let's role play for a moment here. 1.2500 0.04944 108 85 19 4
1926 Don’t worry, I’m 73% sure this is the right prescription. 1.2500 0.04684 104 80 22 2
1927 Check it. It's a real doctor's license. I just didn't have this mustache when I took the picture. 1.2500 0.04684 104 80 22 2
1928 Here's your prescrip.....wait! Is that a mouse on my desk? 1.2500 0.04944 108 85 19 4
1929 And I can’t stress this enough. This is a MoviePass card. It literally does nothing. 1.2500 0.05423 104 84 14 6
1930 Some guy with a flute drove my family out of Ireland so we settled in Baltimore. 1.2500 0.05067 104 82 18 4
1931 We can have a co-worker show you around. It's a maze in here. 1.2500 0.05248 104 83 16 5
1932 That’s fantastic DR. Fox to you, sir. 1.2500 0.05067 104 82 18 4
1933 My insurance does not cover rat poison without obtaining a prior authorization first. 1.2500 0.04766 108 84 21 3
1934 You may experience some severe nose-twitching and a strong desire for cheese, but your guilt will be completely eradicated. 1.2500 0.05248 104 83 16 5
1935 It’s only a mild sedative which will help with the hallucinations. In the meantime, do you happen to have any cheese? 1.2500 0.04684 104 80 22 2
1936 Here’s my card. There are only two plastic surgeons in this town. He is gorgeous. Call me when that sinks in. 1.2500 0.04879 104 81 20 3
1937 Take this referral and chew on it for a week.” 1.2500 0.04766 108 84 21 3
1938 One of these cards holds your diagnoses. Is it this one? 1.2500 0.05067 104 82 18 4
1939 The only side effect is a craving for raw deer meat. 1.2500 0.05067 104 82 18 4
1940 You’ve put on some weight Joe. Now if I were you, I’d spend less time at the dumpster and a little more time on the exercise wheel. 1.2500 0.04879 104 81 20 3
1941 I simply ferret things out, here is your bill. 1.2500 0.05067 104 82 18 4
1942 I'm returning your stones...maybe you can have a bracelet made for your wife! 1.2500 0.05067 104 82 18 4
1943 A prescription pad can’t give you plague. 1.2500 0.04879 104 81 20 3
1944 Warfarin - all my friends use it. 1.2500 0.05248 104 83 16 5
1945 You qualify for our Summer Special. When I remove your gallbladder at the regular price, you can have another organ removed free. 1.2500 0.04766 108 84 21 3
1946 Take this with mice or rabbit twice a day,and you'll be feeling clever again in no time. 1.2500 0.05283 108 87 15 6
1947 My med school debt keeps me in the rat race. 1.2500 0.04879 104 81 20 3
1948 Four out of five rats recommend this for their patients. 1.2476 0.05024 105 83 18 4
1949 Here's a script for warfarin. It does have side effects. 1.2476 0.04838 105 82 20 3
1950 Trust me, I know a disease when I see one. 1.2476 0.04838 105 81 19 3
1951 Take two of these AFTER a meal. I didn't, and well, I'm sure I don't have to tell you what happened next. 1.2476 0.05203 105 84 16 5
1952 Take two and burrow underground. 1.2476 0.05544 105 86 12 7
1953 Don't look shocked. Corporate WealthCare "infestation" was here way before Trump got into the act. 1.2476 0.05203 105 84 16 5
1954 Despite all you rage, I am doubling your Zoloft prescription. 1.2476 0.04838 105 82 20 3
1955 Take this every morning and I'm confident the hallucinations will stop. 1.2476 0.04838 105 82 20 3
1956 Take one three times a day, with meals. And cheese. Lots and lots of rat trap cheese. 1.2476 0.04838 105 82 20 3
1957 Here is your prescription. Which dumpster do you use? 1.2476 0.04645 105 81 22 2
1958 It hasn't been tested on humans yet, but what the heck? 1.2476 0.05203 105 84 16 5
1959 Yes, there are a few side effects, but they go away quickly.......most of the time. 1.2476 0.05024 105 83 18 4
1960 This is a prescription for the blue pill. Your last prescription for the red pill had some side effects. 1.2476 0.05024 105 83 18 4
1961 ''You should wash them down with cheese,I recommend it.'' 1.2476 0.05203 105 84 16 5
1962 Don't worry, it's been thoroughly tested on humans. 1.2476 0.04838 105 82 20 3
1963 Don't be afraid. I am really a sheep in wolf's clothing. 1.2476 0.05024 105 83 18 4
1964 Sheep's milk brie only. No generics. 1.2476 0.05024 105 83 18 4
1965 This place can fill your prescription, but more importantly they have best cheese selection in the city. 1.2476 0.04645 105 81 22 2
1966 Here's your prescription for sheeping pills. 1.2476 0.04645 105 81 22 2
1967 No wonder you're bug-eyed. 1.2476 0.05376 105 85 14 6
1968 Take two pills and call me Dr. Vermin. 1.2476 0.04838 105 82 20 3
1969 Take this to the big cheese." 1.2476 0.04645 105 81 22 2
1970 This new drug I'm prescribing will overcome your unreasonable fear of rats. 1.2476 0.05024 105 83 18 4
1971 I worked my way through med school, all while raising four teenage mutant ninja turtles. 1.2476 0.05544 105 86 12 7
1972 This is more of an old family remedy, but when my children aren't thriving, I eat them. 1.2476 0.05376 105 85 14 6
1973 The worst side effect is that you're likely to feel more predatory. 1.2476 0.04838 105 82 20 3
1974 You'll get a discount in Baltimore, or so I hear. 1.2476 0.05203 105 82 16 5
1975 I have to take this call; would you like some cheese? 1.2476 0.05024 105 83 18 4
1976 I thought a doctor’s clothing would be better than the sheep’s. It won’t affect your deductible though 1.2476 0.05203 105 84 16 5
1977 Trust me, I KNOW this drug is safe. 1.2476 0.05024 105 83 18 4
1978 I recommend a high cheese diet. 1.2476 0.04645 105 81 22 2
1979 And who's guarding the hen house? 1.2476 0.04838 105 82 20 3
1980 Relax! You don't have the plague. I do! 1.2476 0.05203 105 84 16 5
1981 Now next time call me if you keep seeing cheese. 1.2476 0.05376 105 85 14 6
1982 C'mon give it a try. Look what it did for me! 1.2476 0.05203 105 84 16 5
1983 On the other hand, if you like the hallucinations, you don't have to take them. 1.2476 0.05376 105 85 14 6
1984 Studies with lab rodents have shown this medication to be highly effective. 1.2476 0.04838 105 82 20 3
1985 Take one every morning. I've been on it for years. It has some minor side effects, but my appetite picked right up. 1.2476 0.05376 105 85 14 6
1986 Congratulations! You've outfoxed the fox. 1.2476 0.05024 105 83 18 4
1987 We accept Blue Cross, Blue Shield, or cheese. 1.2476 0.05544 105 86 12 7
1988 I may need to refer you to a specialist outside of Baltimore. 1.2476 0.05376 105 85 14 6
1989 It's a contemporary take on a plague mask. 1.2476 0.05024 105 83 18 4
1990 The research shows it works on mice and humans. 1.2476 0.04838 105 82 20 3
1991 This will calm your nerves. It's not unusual to see rats in New York. 1.2476 0.04838 105 82 20 3
1992 I need to warn you that this has only been tested on doctors. 1.2476 0.04838 105 82 20 3
1993 I've mastered going to the pharmacy. Out of my office take a left, left, right, right, right, left, left, and a right. 1.2476 0.05024 105 83 18 4
1994 I'm upgrading your prescription to brie. 1.2476 0.05203 105 84 16 5
1995 Yes, there is lactose-free gouda. 1.2476 0.05203 105 84 16 5
1996 Here’s your ticket to the rat race, pal. 1.2476 0.05203 105 84 16 5
1997 Please don’t confuse your Google search with my maze running degree. 1.2476 0.05544 105 86 12 7
1998 "Once more. If you want to see a doctor that's a dog, see me. But if your dog needs a doctor, see a vet! Got it?" 1.2476 0.05024 105 83 18 4
1999 This will prevent the hallucinations from recurring. 1.2476 0.05203 105 84 16 5
2000 Here's Dr. Rat Cliff's prescription to help deal with your hallucinations. 1.2476 0.05203 105 84 16 5
2001 Thank you for participating in the “ human lab testing” for our new drug. I would now recommend getting a vasectomy” 1.2476 0.05024 105 83 18 4
2002 Here take these pills and come back when you're vision is cleared up.. 1.2476 0.04838 105 82 20 3
2003 It's 92% identical to the one you used to take. 1.2475 0.05152 101 80 17 4
2004 Balance this on my nose; I'll bet I can catch it! 1.2475 0.05152 101 80 17 4
2005 It all began when I developed an opposable thumb. 1.2475 0.05523 101 82 13 6
2006 Trust me. This is the good stuff. 1.2475 0.04752 101 78 21 2
2007 You're lactose intolerant. Bummer of a diagnosis. 1.2475 0.05152 101 80 17 4
2008 This is the attorney for the opiate class action you want. 1.2475 0.04539 101 77 23 1
2009 It's a necessary and perfectly legitimate 30 day refill for your opioid Mr. Jones. The disguise is because I don't want you to be able to pick me out of a line-up ... that's how crazy the DEA has gotten. 1.2475 0.04956 101 79 19 3
2010 This generic may have hallucination side effects, but it's the only one your insurance covers. 1.2475 0.05152 101 80 17 4
2011 Didn't you try to poison me once? 1.2475 0.05341 101 81 15 5
2012 Here's twenty bucks, if you can get this stupid mask off my head. 1.2475 0.05341 101 81 15 5
2013 It's an experimental medicine, but we'll throw you in a blender next week and see if it has potential. 1.2475 0.05152 101 80 17 4
2014 Put the prescription pad back before I bring out the broom 1.2475 0.05341 101 81 15 5
2015 Yes, I went to a foreign medical school, but take it any way. 1.2451 0.05107 102 81 17 4
2016 Scientific tests is where I started, now look at me! 1.2451 0.05107 102 81 17 4
2017 Don't be concerned, you are not the first guinea pig 1.2451 0.04712 102 79 21 2
2018 It's not a mole sir 1.2451 0.04914 102 80 19 3
2019 Don’t worry, it’s not contagious. 1.2451 0.05474 102 83 13 6
2020 Thank you for coming to Baltimore Memorial Hospital 1.2451 0.05294 102 82 15 5
2021 Take the vaccines. My people didn't spend years on laboratories for you to simply deny it. 1.2451 0.04914 102 80 19 3
2022 No, all drugs are not, 'basically the same stuff' 1.2451 0.04712 102 79 21 2
2023 I suggest you leave Baltimore as soon as you can. 1.2451 0.05649 102 84 11 7
2024 You have to stop thinking I'm your son. It's not healthy. 1.2451 0.04914 102 80 19 3
2025 I personally got your lab results. 1.2451 0.05294 102 82 15 5
2026 it's not how you see me it's how you see you 1.2451 0.05107 102 81 17 4
2027 Yes, it is true that 99% of us didn't survive the tobacco testing. But people are reluctant to discuss the 1% of us who thrived on it. 1.2451 0.05474 102 83 13 6
2028 If you like your rat, you can keep your rat. 1.2451 0.05107 102 81 17 4
2029 It's proven to work on laboratory rats. 1.2451 0.04712 102 79 21 2
2030 That's very derogatory. I'll have you know I've never once violated HIPAA. 1.2451 0.05474 102 83 13 6
2031 One of the side effects is a craving for cheese. 1.2451 0.05107 102 81 17 4
2032 I've been taking the generic version D-Con for most of my life, in low dose it's verry safe. 1.2451 0.04501 102 78 23 1
2033 All right, you hound, just this once I'll prescribe these on the sly. 1.2451 0.04914 102 80 19 3
2034 And not forgetting that I’m a rat, here’s an additional prescription for rabies medicine... 1.2451 0.04712 102 79 21 2
2035 And, no, I did not eat the guy who was sitting here. 1.2451 0.04914 102 80 19 3
2036 No other doctor would give you this prescription for what you have, but I believe in experimentation. 1.2451 0.04914 102 80 19 3
2037 I’m writing you a prescription for amphetamines but only take them as needed. 1.2451 0.04501 102 78 23 1
2038 No, there's no side effects 1.2451 0.05107 102 81 17 4
2039 Trust me, bury these pills in your yard and your moles will go away. 1.2451 0.05474 102 83 13 6
2040 The APR? It's only 502% 1.2451 0.05294 102 82 15 5
2041 Not more rat poison? 1.2451 0.04914 102 80 19 3
2042 Trust me. I've tried them all. 1.2451 0.04914 102 80 19 3
2043 The studies on the possible side effects have been inconclusive. 1.2451 0.05107 102 81 17 4
2044 Take this prescription down to the deli and bring me back some Swiss cheese. 1.2451 0.04914 102 80 19 3
2045 One piece of cheese, three times a day, for the rest of your life. 1.2451 0.05294 102 82 15 5
2046 I don't come to your office and stare at you, sir, Thank you very much. 1.2451 0.05107 102 81 17 4
2047 This will enable you to find some humor in a cartoon with a prescription-providing doctor who is an animal. 1.2451 0.04914 102 80 19 3
2048 I'm enrolling you in a drug trial. 1.2451 0.04914 102 80 19 3
2049 In animal testing, it only killed 25% of those that tried it. 1.2451 0.04914 102 80 19 3
2050 Why would you ask if this medication has any transformative side effects? 1.2451 0.04914 102 80 19 3
2051 Don't be so dogmatic. I can fix bug eyes too. 1.2451 0.05107 102 81 17 4
2052 I write prescriptions in perfectly legible script to compensate for the negative stereotypes associated with rats in medicine. Asking me about the bubonic plague is insensitive, so take your Viagra and get out of here! 1.2451 0.05107 102 81 17 4
2053 Trust me. I have spent my whole life in the lab. 1.2451 0.04914 102 80 19 3
2054 Just so you know, this medicine may have some transformative side effects. I know this from experience. 1.2451 0.04914 102 80 19 3
2055 This stuff killed my folks in Baltimore, but it should fix you right up. 1.2451 0.05294 102 82 15 5
2056 Just because I have sheepskins on my wall doesn't make me a wolf. 1.2451 0.04712 102 79 21 2
2057 This is guaranteed to cure hallucinations. 1.2451 0.05107 102 81 17 4
2058 Have no fear. Everything I prescribe, I test on myself first. 1.2451 0.04914 102 80 19 3
2059 Here's your script for Warfarin 1.2451 0.05294 102 82 15 5
2060 I'm sending you to a specialist; Dr. Havarti can cure you. 1.2451 0.04712 102 79 21 2
2061 It’s still in the experimental phase, but results are promising. 1.2451 0.05474 102 83 13 6
2062 Side effects may include drowsiness, dry mouth, hallucinations and musophobia. 1.2451 0.04914 102 80 19 3
2063 Welcome aboard! This card is good for cheese in any of our excellent mazes. 1.2451 0.05107 102 81 17 4
2064 Best Price at Pets Are Us 1.2451 0.04501 102 78 23 1
2065 Wolfbane has worked for many of my patients 1.2451 0.04914 102 80 19 3
2066 This should cure your Black Plague. Trust me... 1.2451 0.05107 102 81 17 4
2067 Thank you for supporting the arts. 1.2451 0.05107 102 81 17 4
2068 It's been well tested by my family 1.2451 0.04712 102 79 21 2
2069 You don't have to be a rat to charge these prices, but it helps. 1.2451 0.04712 102 79 21 2
2070 My cousin Larry was involved in the preclinical trials, so I can personally assure you that it is safe for rats 1.2451 0.05107 102 81 17 4
2071 You think you've got problems? Even I don't know whether I'm an aardvark or an anteater. 1.2451 0.05107 102 81 17 4
2072 In my experience, these experimental drugs are completely safe. 1.2451 0.05294 102 82 15 5
2073 Please tell Little Red Riding Hood to call me, I'm trying not to be such a fox. 1.2451 0.05107 102 81 17 4
2074 Many members of my family have used this drug. 1.2451 0.04712 102 79 21 2
2075 YOU be responsible for a nationwide opiod epidemic and see what you look like! 1.2451 0.05107 102 81 17 4
2076 So, why are all the veterinarians human? 1.2451 0.04712 102 79 21 2
2077 Two pounds of Gruyère and call me in the morning. 1.2451 0.05294 102 82 15 5
2078 There's new research on irrelevance coming out all the time. 1.2451 0.04914 102 80 19 3
2079 Don't worry—I've been rat-ified by the FDA. 1.2451 0.05107 102 81 17 4
2080 It seems your credit card isn’t worth the proverbial rat’s you-know what. 1.2451 0.05474 102 83 13 6
2081 Take two and scratch the wall in the morning. 1.2451 0.04280 102 77 25 0
2082 Didn't you realize that voting for universal health care meant any mammal could become a doctor? 1.2451 0.05294 102 82 15 5
2083 It's for bubonic plague. 1.2451 0.05107 102 81 17 4
2084 I feel your pain - I’m also lactose intolerant. 1.2451 0.04712 102 79 21 2
2085 Here is a link to our survey, don't worry its anonymouse. 1.2451 0.05107 102 81 17 4
2086 ...At least I'm not a chiropractor... 1.2447 0.05387 94 75 15 4
2087 Side effects? Good question. Wish I'd thought of that. 1.2447 0.05171 94 74 17 3
2088 If you decide that you want to grow an extra ear on your back, then just take these. 1.2447 0.05596 94 76 13 5
2089 Try this. There's always a chance it won't kill you. 1.2447 0.05171 94 74 17 3
2090 This side effects for this new prescription don't include hallucinations. But it will burn when you pee. 1.2447 0.05596 94 76 13 5
2091 Next we’ll be sending you to space. 1.2447 0.04944 94 73 19 2
2092 “I’ll accept full payment rat now, thank you very much.” 1.2432 0.04992 111 89 17 5
2093 Strange! You're my third patient this week to contract the bubonic plague. And you say you felt fine when you came in? It's a real head-scratcher! 1.2427 0.04871 103 81 19 3
2094 Relax. I worked my way up from the Maze department. 1.2427 0.04672 103 80 21 2
2095 Here, I want you to fill this prescription for Velveeta Cheese. 1.2427 0.04871 103 81 19 3
2096 Here's where I got the shrew mask. So tell me your symptoms. 1.2427 0.05063 103 82 17 4
2097 Your clinical trial is through the maze to your left. 1.2427 0.05063 103 82 17 4
2098 Your medication does have side effects but I'm still a giant rat. 1.2427 0.05248 103 83 15 5
2099 Here's your identity card for your participation in the electric shock experiment. 1.2427 0.04672 103 80 21 2
2100 I don’t have to literally hand this to you under the table, but it wouldn’t hurt. 1.2410 0.06083 83 68 10 5
2101 The results are promising in the human trail. 1.2404 0.05379 104 85 13 6
2102 It's poison only to me; to you, it's blood thinner. 1.2400 0.04948 100 79 18 3
2103 Please do not call me a rat. I'm a quack. 1.2400 0.05341 100 81 14 5
2104 Trust me, this stuff is quality. 1.2400 0.04948 100 79 18 3
2105 I learned about this cure in the lab. 1.2400 0.05341 100 81 14 5
2106 Prepaying before I start your exam is relaxing for me. 1.2400 0.05527 100 82 12 6
2107 Really, Warfarin is OK for you. 1.2400 0.05341 100 81 14 5
2108 Worry not, it's only an antihistamine. It's not like it's rat poison or anything. 1.2400 0.05527 100 82 12 6
2109 Here's your ticket out of Baltimore. 1.2400 0.05148 100 80 16 4
2110 So, you go to this forest and ask for granny's house. 1.2400 0.04948 100 79 18 3
2111 I can assure you, those certificates are from the most prestigious laboratories. 1.2400 0.05148 100 80 16 4
2112 Here's a prescription for anthropomorphism pills. 1.2400 0.05148 100 80 16 4
2113 Trust me. My brother survived trials of this drug. 1.2400 0.05148 100 80 16 4
2114 Take two of these with cheese every morning. 1.2400 0.05148 100 80 16 4
2115 This will help a little, bit it’s still a rat race. 1.2400 0.04522 100 77 22 1
2116 Take this medication three times a day, and you'll be able to get away with anything. 1.2400 0.05148 100 80 16 4
2117 Take this note to your boss. It requests that you be transferred out of Baltimore to a less infested location. 1.2400 0.05148 100 80 16 4
2118 While living in the lab, I studied medicine so I'd be prepared for life on the outside. 1.2400 0.05148 100 80 16 4
2119 The race chose me. 1.2400 0.05341 100 81 14 5
2120 Take it with plenty of peanut butter. 1.2400 0.04740 100 78 20 2
2121 I went to med school in Baltimore, what’s your excuse? 1.2400 0.05707 100 83 10 7
2122 This will help with stress, but you need to get out of the human race. 1.2400 0.04740 100 78 20 2
2123 It's easy, run through a maze, ring a few bells, and earn some extra money. 1.2400 0.04522 100 77 22 1
2124 This cheese is available only by prescription. 1.2400 0.05148 100 80 16 4
2125 I'm referring you to our husbandry specialist. 1.2400 0.05148 100 80 16 4
2126 Take one after breakfast, one after your late-night dumpster dive. 1.2400 0.05341 100 81 14 5
2127 Come on, have a cigarette. 1.2400 0.04948 100 79 18 3
2128 Maybe you’ll have better luck than I did 1.2400 0.05148 100 80 16 4
2129 Try him. He did wonders for me when I struggled with my sexual identity. 1.2400 0.05527 100 82 12 6
2130 Here’s a prescription for your psychosis. 1.2400 0.04740 100 78 20 2
2131 No, No, "To Serve Mankind" is not my motto or creed -- it's a cookbook. 1.2400 0.05148 100 80 16 4
2132 Don't worry, all these drugs were tested on me first. 1.2400 0.05527 100 82 12 6
2133 Get this prescription filled. They come in tablet form. Of course, you’ll have to run through a maze first. 1.2400 0.04948 100 79 18 3
2134 Get your eyes back in their sockets, buddy ... this is a $1 bill not a $1,000 bill 1.2400 0.04740 100 78 20 2
2135 I apologize for the mask. The witness protection program budget has been slashed. This is all I got. 1.2400 0.05341 100 81 14 5
2136 I've been taking this for years with no side effects whatsoever. 1.2400 0.04740 100 78 20 2
2137 Kill two sheep, and call me in the morning. 1.2400 0.05707 100 83 10 7
2138 It's the same prescription I take,what's the problem? 1.2400 0.05527 100 82 12 6
2139 Take this, and stop the warfarin immediately- that stuff’s poison 1.2400 0.05148 100 80 16 4
2140 Don’t worry, it tested well on rats. 1.2400 0.04948 100 79 18 3
2141 Take 1 every hour and avoid dairy. Especially cheese. 1.2400 0.04740 100 78 20 2
2142 If you're unable to get this filled here in Baltimore, try the Maralago Pharmacy in D.C. 1.2400 0.04948 100 79 18 3
2143 Don't worry, this won't be the side effect she notices... 1.2400 0.04740 100 78 20 2
2144 Take two of these three times a day with cheese, and I'm referring you to an ophthalmologist. 1.2400 0.05148 100 80 16 4
2145 Yeah, I started out as a vector for plague and tick-borne disease. Turns out, there wasn't any money in it. 1.2400 0.05707 100 83 10 7
2146 Thanks you for asking, yes I like it here in Baltimore 1.2400 0.05527 100 82 12 6
2147 Side effects include destructive gnawing, burrowing and random stooling, nothing unusual. 1.2400 0.04948 100 79 18 3
2148 It’s the first new drug since the FDA adopted their accelerated testing protocol. Why do you ask? 1.2400 0.04522 100 77 22 1
2149 This one is for your delusions of rature. 1.2400 0.05341 100 81 14 5
2150 Actually, I left my law practice years ago. 1.2400 0.05341 100 81 14 5
2151 Take one of these a day and see your own veterinarian when you get back home. 1.2400 0.04740 100 78 20 2
2152 Oh, please. Its not the friggin plague. 1.2400 0.05341 100 81 14 5
2153 Pay this to the cashier, and come back and I will tell you what is wrong with you. 1.2400 0.04948 100 79 18 3
2154 Have some brie and stay out of sewers. 1.2400 0.04948 100 79 18 3
2155 Give this to Baltimore and say it's from Dr Trump. 1.2376 0.05293 101 82 14 5
2156 I'm sorry sir, but "I smell a rat" is not a medical symptom that we diagnose here. 1.2376 0.05293 101 82 14 5
2157 No worries, it's a blood thinner, like rat poison, if you have difficulty breathing, give me a call. 1.2376 0.05103 101 81 16 4
2158 I’m hiding. I don’t want anyone to know I voted for that animal! 1.2376 0.05103 101 81 16 4
2159 I’ll see you back here for a follow up next Halloween. 1.2376 0.05293 101 82 14 5
2160 I may be a weasel but I’m no rat. 1.2376 0.05103 101 81 16 4
2161 My brother tested it. It's safe. 1.2376 0.05103 101 81 16 4
2162 Take two of these before bed and you will never be troubled by those headaches again. 1.2376 0.05103 101 81 16 4
2163 Look, I've tested it myself. 1.2376 0.04905 101 80 18 3
2164 Don't worry, these are the same hands that just performed your physical. 1.2376 0.05293 101 82 14 5
2165 Here, Larry. Let me know if your rat-induced fear continues.'Till next week. 1.2376 0.04699 101 79 20 2
2166 Two pills once a month, when the moon is full 1.2376 0.04699 101 79 20 2
2167 Here. My card says I'm qualified to be in charge of the trial study. 1.2376 0.05103 101 81 16 4
2168 Take two at bedtime, and I will eat you in the morning. 1.2376 0.04905 101 80 18 3
2169 These are death on parasites Don Richardson, Napa, CA 1.2376 0.04905 101 80 18 3
2170 Yes I only prescribe cheeses, why? 1.2376 0.05103 101 81 16 4
2171 The benefits outweigh the poison. I'm still alive. 1.2376 0.04699 101 79 20 2
2172 I'm a MD and, prior to medical school, I was a Rhode-ents Scholar. 1.2376 0.05103 101 81 16 4
2173 This is for your hallucinations. However if you start seeing people call me immediately. 1.2376 0.05103 101 81 16 4
2174 i want to be president teach me to tweet 1.2376 0.04905 101 80 18 3
2175 I started as a test subject and worked my way here. You can, too. 1.2376 0.04905 101 78 18 3
2176 Quit smoking or you’ll never be able to blow the house down. 1.2376 0.04699 101 79 20 2
2177 This new medicine is safe. I was part of the clinical trials. There were no side effects in the mouse studies. 1.2376 0.04905 101 80 18 3
2178 It's for LSD, so you won't imagine you're seeing rats anymore. 1.2376 0.04905 101 80 18 3
2179 When Cagney said “Your dirty rat”, he was not referring to me. OK? 1.2376 0.04699 101 79 20 2
2180 Sorry, our minority hire was filled last week. 1.2376 0.04699 101 79 20 2
2181 The card says Jackal but the next printing will say Dr. Jekyll. 1.2376 0.05293 101 82 14 5
2182 If you need me call me, no matter where you are, no matter how far underground. 1.2376 0.05103 101 81 16 4
2183 This stuff is great. But it hasn't been tested on humans. 1.2376 0.04483 101 78 22 1
2184 Oh yeah, Johns Hopkins is infested with us." 1.2376 0.04905 101 80 18 3
2185 Don't worry. This drug is safe. My cousin tested it out. 1.2376 0.05103 101 81 16 4
2186 Trust me, this stuff makes you feel a lot better than the ones who got the placebo. 1.2376 0.05293 101 82 14 5
2187 I personally participated in the tests on this. 1.2376 0.04905 101 78 18 3
2188 No serious side effects. I used it myself for years... 1.2376 0.04905 101 80 18 3
2189 I know it looks like rat poison, but it's really just a blood thinner. 1.2376 0.05293 101 82 14 5
2190 We’ve had good results and are excited about starting animal trials soon. 1.2376 0.04905 101 80 18 3
2191 Truth no longer holds water. Like politics, law, religion, medicine , too, is a matter of where you fall on the insurance wheel. Here's your diagnosis. 1.2376 0.05477 101 83 12 6
2192 Side effects include nausea, fatigue, dry mouth, visual hallucinations and squeak, squeak, squeak squeak squeak. 1.2376 0.05103 101 81 16 4
2193 Take two pills in the morning with one bowl of water. 1.2376 0.05293 101 82 14 5
2194 This will help with the hallucinations, but it might give you the plague. 1.2376 0.05103 101 81 16 4
2195 This prescription is completely safe. I tested it on myself and as you can see it works wonders. 1.2376 0.04699 101 79 20 2
2196 Are you seriously bribing me with Cheese of the Month? 1.2376 0.05103 101 81 16 4
2197 This will help you believe again in humanity's natural supremacy. 1.2376 0.04905 101 80 18 3
2198 I know it can be hard in social situations, but try to avoid eating cheese while on this medication. 1.2376 0.04699 101 79 20 2
2199 Take one of these a day for 2 weeks and stay out of the subway. 1.2376 0.05103 101 81 16 4
2200 Side effects? Unlikely. I've been taking it for years. 1.2376 0.04699 101 79 20 2
2201 Some of my friends tested this. It caused some blurred vision but it did wonders for their fear of the NYC subway system. 1.2376 0.04905 101 80 18 3
2202 Your stress test in the maze was a disaster! 1.2376 0.04699 101 79 20 2
2203 To get rid of your cat allergy, I prescribe a euthanization for your cat. 1.2376 0.04905 101 80 18 3
2204 Trust me, I survived this stuff in a test lab. 1.2376 0.04017 101 78 23 0
2205 What's wrong? You're acting squirrelly. 1.2371 0.05029 97 77 17 3
2206 What a racist thing to say. 1.2371 0.05029 97 77 17 3
2207 This should be taken with food, preferably two pizza crusts or some chicken bones. 1.2371 0.05029 97 77 17 3
2208 I’m a rat in doc’s clothing. Take two and you won’t call me in the morning. 1.2347 0.05190 98 79 15 4
2209 Here's a prescription for your sore throat, but a shock collar would be more effective. 1.2347 0.05389 98 80 13 5
2210 Side effects include hating, stealing, and twittering." 1.2347 0.05190 98 79 15 4
2211 Sure you could go to the pharmacy on 8th, but it’s a bit of a maze. 1.2347 0.04767 98 77 19 2
2212 If your delusions don't disappear in a week, we'll try something else - at no extra cheese. 1.2347 0.04983 98 78 17 3
2213 I want you to get some rest, drink lots of water, and don’t get into any mischief. 1.2347 0.04541 98 81 14 3
2214 Quite frankly sir, I don’t give a rat’s “a**” about what you think about my diagnosis. However, if anyone should know the plague it would be me. 1.2347 0.04767 98 77 19 2
2215 I can only give you the tools, you have to do the work” 1.2347 0.04767 98 77 19 2
2216 Here's the referral to Johns Hopkins for your Bug-Eye Syndrome. Baltimore is lovely this time of year. 1.2347 0.04983 98 78 17 3
2217 Take it with grubs. 1.2347 0.04767 98 77 19 2
2218 No, Sir, I am not from Baltimore. Now take your prescription and leave! 1.2347 0.05580 98 81 11 6
2219 Let me know if this helps the next time you’re in Baltimore 1.2347 0.04983 98 78 17 3
2220 Well the good news is this confirms that rats are able to smell cancerous cells 1.2347 0.04983 98 78 17 3
2221 Here, I validated your parking for you.” “Thanks. Why are you a rat?” “I’m a psychiatrist, Mark. You have schizophrenia. I’ll see you next week.” 1.2347 0.04767 98 77 19 2
2222 Trust me, I've used this medication myself while working as a lab rat to put myself through Medical School." 1.2347 0.05190 98 79 15 4
2223 this is my uncle, Mr. Sniffles, an immigrant who ran mazes for crumbs. now i’m a fucken doctor and society grants me absurd deference because i know shit that may as well be witchcraft to you. so, what do you say we stick these fingers in your butt? 1.2347 0.05580 98 81 11 6
2224 Not only will you be able to eat dairy again, but you’ll be amazed at how much better cheese tastes! 1.2347 0.05190 98 79 15 4
2225 Why does everyone assume I’m going to rat them out? 1.2347 0.04983 98 78 17 3
2226 You get to choose; the blue one or the red one. 1.2347 0.04541 98 75 21 1
2227 I've been taking it since I was a young lab rat. It got me through med school. 1.2347 0.04541 98 76 21 1
2228 I want to show you a card trick. This has nothing to do with your assessment. 1.2347 0.05190 98 79 15 4
2229 This medication should stop you from fantasizing about dogs! 1.2347 0.04767 98 77 19 2
2230 Sprinkle this FAO approved Warfarin on your cereal. The food guide says it has only a few side effects including the "get even" syndrome. 1.2347 0.05389 98 80 13 5
2231 We're skipping the middlemen to cut costs. 1.2347 0.05190 98 79 15 4
2232 Take 2 of these daily. And avoid taking them with cheese. 1.2347 0.05766 98 82 9 7
2233 You're my fifth patient with the plague this week! 1.2347 0.04983 98 78 17 3
2234 Side affects may include increased cravings of cheese and insulation. 1.2347 0.04767 98 77 19 2
2235 OK, here's $100 so you don't rat me out. 1.2347 0.05580 98 81 11 6
2236 It's often said we have paw handwriting. 1.2347 0.05389 98 80 13 5
2237 Take two aspirin and bring me a piece of cheese in the morning. 1.2347 0.04303 98 75 23 0
2238 In clinical trials, they worked for me every time. 1.2347 0.04767 98 77 19 2
2239 This is your warfarin prescription. I wouldn't touch it myself. 1.2347 0.04983 98 78 17 3
2240 Sorry. I'm a weasel. You'll need to see the guys in the maze to get this ratified. 1.2347 0.05190 98 79 15 4
2241 It's been working fine for me other than constant cravings for cheese. 1.2347 0.04983 98 78 17 3
2242 Well George, if you want a professional for your next lab experiment, here's my card. 1.2347 0.05190 98 79 15 4
2243 I can personally verify that the prescription has been thoroughly vetted. 1.2347 0.04767 98 77 19 2
2244 It'll go down easier if you stick in a piece of cheese. 1.2347 0.04767 98 77 19 2
2245 Hallucinations are normal. Here's a discount card for my favorite costume shop. 1.2347 0.04767 98 77 19 2
2246 Here take it. You get used to the side effects. 1.2347 0.04983 98 78 17 3
2247 How do I know that it’s perfectly safe? Why, they tested it on me. 1.2347 0.04983 98 78 17 3
2248 I'm going to have you try an experimental drug. 1.2347 0.04983 98 78 17 3
2249 I'm going to recommend a gluten-free diet. But don't despair. You can still gnaw on the pizza boxes. 1.2347 0.04541 98 76 21 1
2250 You can fill this at the pharmacy across from the Inner Harbor. 1.2347 0.04541 98 76 21 1
2251 When you're up in Canada, don't mix this with BC bud... there are side effects... 1.2347 0.04983 98 78 17 3
2252 Trust me, the side effects are minimal--I take the stuff like every day. 1.2347 0.04767 98 77 19 2
2253 We're trying to promote awareness of the important role of the rat in medical research. 1.2347 0.04541 98 76 21 1
2254 This did not make me into a sheep like you promised. 1.2347 0.05190 98 79 15 4
2255 This will treat your hallucinations. 1.2347 0.05190 98 79 15 4
2256 Take two of these at bedtime then come back tomorrow morning and tell me if you still think I look like a Russian Wolfhound. 1.2347 0.05190 98 79 15 4
2257 Here—a group of us get together Tuesday evenings. 1.2347 0.04983 98 78 17 3
2258 Here’s your prescription. You should start seeing people as humans again in two to four weeks. 1.2347 0.04983 98 78 17 3
2259 Take one of these when you feel trapped. 1.2347 0.04767 98 77 19 2
2260 Your next appointment is with the Big Cheese. 1.2347 0.05190 98 79 15 4
2261 Of course there’s a difference between ‘animal doctor’ and ‘doctor who is an animal’. 1.2347 0.04983 98 78 17 3
2262 Take one twice a day for a week and your visions of human-like rats should disappear. 1.2347 0.04767 98 77 19 2
2263 Don't be such a human! With all the latest medical advances, we think it's your turn to contribute to science. 1.2347 0.04767 98 77 19 2
2264 The surgery changed me but my prescriptions are still illegible. 1.2340 0.04884 94 74 18 2
2265 I'm not proud of the fact that we spread disease. But I'm proud to have developed a more efficient way of doing it. 1.2340 0.04884 94 74 18 2
2266 Yes, no questions asked. 1.2340 0.05113 94 75 16 3
2267 Well of course I still prescribe warfarin. 1.2340 0.05332 94 76 14 4
2268 This admits you to the maze for your experimental treatment. 1.2340 0.04884 94 74 18 2
2269 It's off label, but then, so am I. 1.2340 0.05113 94 75 16 3
2270 It’s stronger than Viagra. 1.2340 0.04884 94 74 18 2
2271 Trust me. That whole 'eating grandma thing' is just a fairy tale. 1.2340 0.04884 94 74 18 2
2272 You're right. I'm a large rat. I'm also your doctor. If you don't like it, get another health care plan. 1.2340 0.05332 94 76 14 4
2273 Take this down to the cheese shop behind the pharmacy 1.2340 0.05332 94 76 14 4
2274 Look, all medicine is rat poison if given at large enough doses. 1.2316 0.04838 95 75 18 2
2275 No killing chickens while your taking these. 1.2316 0.05065 95 76 16 3
2276 I'm sorry only New York Rats can qualify for our insurance program. 1.2316 0.05489 95 78 12 5
2277 Fill this, and the hallucinations should subside within the week. 1.2316 0.05065 95 76 16 3
2278 Call this number and ask for Michelangelo. 1.2316 0.04838 95 75 18 2
2279 Fred, get this filled. This will quickly stop your delusion of being a human. 1.2316 0.05281 95 77 14 4
2280 That’s true but your condition is no fairytale. 1.2316 0.04838 95 75 18 2
2281 For the survival of the planet, all credit cards issued to humans are to be withdrawn and cancelled. 1.2316 0.05065 95 76 16 3
2282 Would you like some rat cheese? 1.2316 0.05065 95 76 16 3
2283 Yeah, but you're kind of in pain, right? 1.2316 0.04601 95 74 20 1
2284 Let's double down on the Ambien. 1.2316 0.04838 95 75 18 2
2285 It's bubonic plague. Seems to be going around recently. 1.2316 0.04838 95 75 18 2
2286 Think of it as a clinical trial, not a trap. 1.2316 0.05065 95 76 16 3
2287 This script should address your hallucinations. Now promise me you’ll go easy on the sticky traps. 1.2316 0.04838 95 75 18 2
2288 It's just CBD, there are no side effects. 1.2316 0.05281 95 77 14 4
2289 This has worked well for my friends and relatives. 1.2316 0.04838 95 75 18 2
2290 It's been quite effective with rats. 1.2316 0.05281 95 77 14 4
2291 Call my friend at Terminix, he can get you your Warfarin cheap. 1.2316 0.05281 95 77 14 4
2292 What's wrong, do you smell a rat?? 1.2316 0.04838 95 75 18 2
2293 Take one pill in the morning. Call me in the middle of the night if you have any problems...i’ll be up. 1.2316 0.05281 95 77 14 4
2294 In rare but serious cases patients have turned into rodents. 1.2316 0.05281 95 77 14 4
2295 This one should work. Your eyes were going to bulge; it's not a side effect. 1.2316 0.04838 95 75 18 2
2296 I didn't call you "Little Red," I said, you are a little red. 1.2316 0.05281 95 77 14 4
2297 You smell a rat?!? I'm not the one who experienced an allergic reaction to cheese. 1.2316 0.05065 95 76 16 3
2298 Two slices of Camembert, and call me in the morning. 1.2316 0.05281 95 77 14 4
2299 I'm certain it is effective because I was the lab rat they tested in on. 1.2316 0.04601 95 74 20 1
2300 Take these, trust me! I'm trained in the best Ivy League mazes. 1.2316 0.04838 95 75 18 2
2301 It's ok, I'm a Doctor! 1.2316 0.04601 95 74 20 1
2302 That's right -- Coumadin. If there was anything to worry about, I wouldn't be prescribing this to you. 1.2316 0.05281 95 77 14 4
2303 Thank you for being part of our research study for the good of rodentkind. 1.2316 0.05489 95 78 11 5
2304 I'm recommending you up your exercise. Here's a script for an exercise wheel. The cage is just an accessory. 1.2316 0.05065 95 76 16 3
2305 Research found that your species could no longer sustain the rate of price increases. 1.2316 0.04838 95 75 18 2
2306 Death is not the end. 1.2316 0.05281 95 77 14 4
2307 It's not me, but your card is no good. 1.2316 0.05281 95 77 14 4
2308 Your check-up was fine, it's in case you come down with the plague. 1.2316 0.04838 95 75 18 2
2309 Yes, of course, if you want to keep your doctor, you can keep your doctor." 1.2316 0.04838 95 75 18 2
2310 Just 'cause the Cat's away...doesn't mean I'm not a real Doctor! 1.2316 0.05281 95 77 14 4
2311 Well, if you change your mind about the rodent wheel therapy, give me a call. 1.2316 0.05065 95 76 16 3
2312 Don't rat me out, but this prescription is cheaper than therapy sessions. 1.2316 0.05065 95 76 16 3
2313 No worries. My wife says this prescription changed her life." 1.2316 0.05281 95 77 14 4
2314 This prescription should stop the six-foot rodent hallucinations, but let's set up a weekly therapy session to deal with your compulsion to shout, "You dirty rat!" at passing strangers. 1.2316 0.05489 95 78 12 5
2315 To avoid nasty side effects don’t eat any cheese. 1.2316 0.05065 95 76 16 3
2316 It may taste like rat poison, but it's very effective 1.2316 0.05281 95 77 14 4
2317 Take two of these and you'll be calling me doctor again not Rex. 1.2316 0.05281 95 77 14 4
2318 The prescription will help minimize your hallucinations, and my receptionist will help maximize your payment plan. 1.2316 0.05065 95 76 16 3
2319 It really is nice having the fur,especially in the winter months,and the heightened ability to smell comes in handy quite often. 1.2316 0.05065 95 76 16 3
2320 This card gives you access to the employee lounge, but not the Executive Lair. 1.2316 0.04838 95 75 18 2
2321 Not to worry--there are no significant side effects. I take it myself, in fact. Perfectly safe! 1.2316 0.05065 95 76 16 3
2322 Complications may include running in mazes. 1.2316 0.04838 95 75 18 2
2323 This should help keep you awake while you are guarding the hen house. 1.2316 0.05281 95 77 14 4
2324 You can always get a second opinion from Dr. Wolf if you’d like. 1.2316 0.04601 95 74 20 1
2325 Many folks who take this say that it has changed their life. I am one of them. 1.2316 0.04838 95 75 18 2
2326 And remember, it's not you, it's me. 1.2316 0.05281 95 77 14 4
2327 Go to the bank, get a loan, then head for the nearest drug store and get this filled out. Other option: get stoned. 1.2316 0.05281 95 77 14 4
2328 take one with meals and then cry "WOLF" ! 1.2316 0.05281 95 77 14 4
2329 This prescription should fix your pop-eye. Be aware that there are some unusual side-effects, as I myself can attest to. 1.2316 0.05065 95 76 16 3
2330 You know, running is good for you. Another patient was just scratched from the fifth race, so tell them I sent you. 1.2316 0.04838 95 75 18 2
2331 This prescription should help get you back in the race. Look what it’s done for me. 1.2316 0.04838 95 75 18 2
2332 Tic Tac? Great for dog breath. 1.2316 0.05065 95 76 16 3
2333 Make sure to take it with trash. 1.2316 0.05489 95 78 12 5
2334 Here is a thought and a prayer for you that I have used with all my patients since my time in the Health and Human Services Department while in the Trump administration. 1.2316 0.04838 95 75 18 2
2335 Put fifty big ones on Ratatouille to win in the fourth. 1.2316 0.05281 95 77 14 4
2336 The only side effect is a fondness for cheese. 1.2292 0.04794 96 76 18 2
2337 Remember to pay at the front desk as you leave. 1.2292 0.04794 96 76 18 2
2338 I'm quite certain it's Tuberculosis. Have this filled as soon as possible. 1.2258 0.05100 93 75 15 3
2339 It's a living! 1.2258 0.04866 93 74 17 2
2340 Here's a scrip for rat poison. See you in Baltimore. 1.2258 0.05100 93 75 15 3
2341 You have fifteen years to pay off today’s visit. 1.2258 0.05325 93 75 13 4
2342 Your poison, Mr. Bolton, this should cure world peace. 1.2258 0.04866 93 74 17 2
2343 What, YOU TOO GOOD FOR RAT PILLS!!??! 1.2258 0.05325 93 76 13 4
2344 You enjoy cheese, correct? 1.2258 0.04866 93 74 17 2
2345 Relax. Just follow the script. 1.2258 0.05325 93 76 13 4
2346 These suppositories will make you feel more normal. 1.2250 0.05618 80 63 11 3
2347 Don't ask. It's a bad hair day. 1.2247 0.04728 89 70 18 1
2348 So, you say you smell a rat; get me some cheese! 1.2234 0.05052 94 76 15 3
2349 This card is blocked. I smell a rat. 1.2234 0.04576 94 74 19 1
2350 I'm not getting ratty with you, Mr Smith. But I do have other patients and your 101 symptoms are all in your head." 1.2234 0.04820 94 75 17 2
2351 Why would you worry who it's been tested on? 1.2234 0.04820 94 75 17 2
2352 Don't worry, it won't bite you. 1.2234 0.05273 94 77 13 4
2353 It's a new medication derived from cheddar. Don't make the mistake I did and take it with alcohol. 1.2234 0.04576 94 74 19 1
2354 If I can work my way out of Baltimore, anyone can! 1.2234 0.04820 94 75 17 2
2355 Don't worry about any side effects. 1.2234 0.05273 94 77 13 4
2356 Thanks to Mitch McConnell, Obamacare no longer covers cock implants. 1.2234 0.05486 94 78 11 5
2357 Trust me, soon everyone in Baltimore will be wearing them. 1.2234 0.05486 94 78 11 5
2358 Pay no mind, office costume party, but can I get you some cheese with this prescription hahahaha. 1.2234 0.05052 94 76 15 3
2359 Here; take two cheese and call me in the morning. 1.2234 0.04820 94 75 17 2
2360 The bubonic plague vaccine is completely safe. I should know. 1.2234 0.05052 94 76 15 3
2361 Well yes it was originally developed as rat poison but no hard feelings. 1.2234 0.04820 94 75 17 2
2362 Less than 200 lab humans died in the trials. 1.2234 0.04820 94 75 17 2
2363 Side effects include an aversion to light and an intense craving for garbage. 1.2234 0.04820 94 75 17 2
2364 So you took these pills, and now you think I'm a dirty 'what?', Mr. Cagney? 1.2234 0.05052 94 76 15 3
2365 This may make you very, very, very thirsty. 1.2234 0.05691 94 79 9 6
2366 Don't let me find out you're selling these to cheddar addicts. 1.2234 0.04820 94 75 17 2
2367 What did this wolf at your door look like? 1.2234 0.04820 94 76 14 3
2368 You'd better go to see an eye doctor. 1.2234 0.04576 94 74 19 1
2369 I can't help your appearance, but this foxycodone will make you think you look good. 1.2234 0.04820 94 75 17 2
2370 Take these twice a day for a week and you'll soon have your bark back! 1.2234 0.04576 94 74 18 1
2371 Trying to weasel you're way out of a co-pay won't work. I should know 1.2234 0.05052 94 76 15 3
2372 Take two anti-hallucinogens and call me in the morning 1.2234 0.05052 94 76 15 3
2373 Your Credit Card seems to be In Order, but I don't like Your Looks." 1.2234 0.05052 94 76 15 3
2374 You'll feel better in two shakes of a lamb's tail. 1.2234 0.05273 94 77 13 4
2375 The taste is ok but it smells funny. 1.2234 0.04576 94 74 19 1
2376 Don't worry, everything I prescribe I've already tried on myself. 1.2234 0.05052 94 76 15 3
2377 Sir, I assure you I'm a professional Lab Rat. 1.2234 0.04820 94 75 17 2
2378 Trust me. I am an excellent veterinarian! 1.2234 0.05052 94 76 15 3
2379 Yes, it’s been tested on humans. 1.2234 0.04319 94 73 21 0
2380 Don't worry, this medication has been thoroughly tested. 1.2234 0.05052 94 76 15 3
2381 This is my driver's license! What more do you need? 1.2234 0.05052 94 76 15 3
2382 It’s the plague. 1.2234 0.05273 94 77 13 4
2383 Your choice if you want to stay that way. 1.2234 0.04576 94 74 19 1
2384 Take this meat tenderizer and come to see me at lunch time. 1.2234 0.05052 94 76 15 3
2385 The diplomas and my card proves it, I graduated from R .A.T. not R.I.T. 1.2234 0.05052 94 76 15 3
2386 Mr. Cosgrove, All our plans require a referral for hallucinations. 1.2234 0.04820 94 75 17 2
2387 Give this to the Lab in the Basement for your texts. 1.2234 0.05052 94 76 15 3
2388 I took this stuff myself. See how I turned out? 1.2234 0.05052 94 76 15 3
2389 Your pro Trump, Right! 1.2234 0.05273 94 77 13 4
2390 You can get this prescription filled at any Cheesecake Factory. 1.2234 0.05273 94 77 13 4
2391 Take two each morning and if you get an upset stomach, nibble on some garbage 1.2234 0.05052 94 75 15 3
2392 Handsome is as handsome does. Take this and your nose hair will as beautiful as mine 1.2234 0.04820 94 75 17 2
2393 Take two capsules tonight and tweet the President in the morning. 1.2234 0.05273 94 77 13 4
2394 Go on...try it. Trust me, it works quickly. 1.2234 0.04576 94 74 19 1
2395 Don't worry, my Aunt tested this one personally. 1.2234 0.04820 94 75 17 2
2396 Will help you survive Washington. 1.2234 0.05486 94 78 11 5
2397 I'm prescribing you a healthy dose of rat poison. 1.2234 0.05052 94 76 15 3
2398 Vermin schermin. Take the pills. 1.2234 0.05052 94 76 15 3
2399 Listen, I've got some family in Baltimore who can help you out. 1.2234 0.04576 94 74 19 1
2400 I know I might look like a Rat, but it's actually Dr. Rat." 1.2234 0.04820 94 75 17 2
2401 Here you go now Wheres my cheese 1.2234 0.05052 94 76 15 3
2402 Get out of the race and call me in the morning. 1.2234 0.04820 94 75 17 2
2403 Give it a try. It tested pretty well with my folks at the lab. 1.2234 0.05052 94 76 15 3
2404 Take this prescription twice a day, and the rodent hallucinations should go away in a week or so. 1.2234 0.05052 94 76 15 3
2405 I don't take insurance, but I do accept live, wild turkeys. 1.2234 0.04319 94 73 21 0
2406 I can vouch there are no side effects. In fact, I've used this medication myself. 1.2234 0.04576 94 74 19 1
2407 Run this maze and call me in the morning. 1.2234 0.05486 94 78 11 5
2408 Here, this'll fatten you up. 1.2234 0.05052 94 76 15 3
2409 Give me a call if those droppings become more frequent. 1.2234 0.05273 94 77 13 4
2410 1 petit Quadrant San Andre, room temp. 1 medium chunk of extra sharp Vermont cheddar, also room temp, And a few ice cold crumbles of Gorgonzola ought to fix you right up. 1.2234 0.05052 94 76 15 3
2411 Don't know if it will help but it's NOT gonna kill you. 1.2234 0.04576 94 74 19 1
2412 Yes, you did say that! 1.2234 0.04576 94 74 19 1
2413 Pussy spread, anyone? 1.2234 0.05052 94 76 15 3
2414 Two injections a day for one month. Your maze skills should increase dramatically. 1.2234 0.05052 94 76 15 3
2415 Use this to contact us from inside the maze. Good luck. 1.2234 0.04820 94 75 17 2
2416 Trust me, you'll love the maze! 1.2234 0.04576 94 74 19 1
2417 Here's your prescription for stress. Blow a house down! 1.2234 0.04576 94 74 19 1
2418 No, the diplomas aren't from Johns Hopkins in Baltimore. 1.2234 0.04820 94 75 17 2
2419 Don't worry, the side effect is only temporary. 1.2234 0.04576 94 74 19 1
2420 Take 2 voles and call me in the morning. 1.2234 0.05052 94 76 15 3
2421 Yes the new pharmacist is in Baltimore.Why do you ask? 1.2234 0.05691 94 79 9 6
2422 I'm recommending caseinometaphen; the generic of mozzarella. 1.2234 0.05052 94 76 15 3
2423 I take this myself and never noticed any side effects. 1.2234 0.04576 94 74 19 1
2424 Rat-bite fever. Here's a referral and, again, I'm sorry. 1.2234 0.05486 94 78 11 5
2425 This is a prescription for real cheese- better than that over-the-counter stuff. 1.2234 0.05273 94 77 13 4
2426 Take these 3 times a day and get out of the rat race, as you can see we've already won. 1.2234 0.05052 94 76 15 3
2427 Unlax Jack. You get drugs and I get some cheese. Don't rat me out. 1.2234 0.04576 94 74 19 1
2428 If you're seeing what you say you're seeing, you DO need anti-psychotics. 1.2234 0.04576 94 74 19 1
2429 Hide two of these in your food each night." 1.2234 0.04820 94 75 17 2
2430 This will definitely cure you of the delusion that your dentist is Bigfoot. 1.2234 0.05052 94 76 15 3
2431 ...and that’s how I went from RAT to PHD. 1.2234 0.05052 94 76 15 3
2432 I'm prescribing aged cheddar. If that doesn't work we'll try gruyere. 1.2234 0.05052 94 76 15 3
2433 What did you expect in Baltimore? 1.2234 0.05273 94 77 13 4
2434 This will do wonders for your tail and whiskers! 1.2234 0.04820 94 73 17 2
2435 If you’re feeling a little mousy, you can take this, but it might make you feel a little squirrelly. 1.2234 0.04820 94 75 17 2
2436 It’s a referral for my colleague in Baltimore. 1.2234 0.05486 94 78 11 5
2437 What did you expect a pit bull? 1.2234 0.04820 94 75 17 2
2438 Naturally, we doctors test it before we offer it to our patients. 1.2234 0.04820 94 75 17 2
2439 I don't know, they worked on me. 1.2234 0.04820 94 75 17 2
2440 Trust me. I've taken these myself. 1.2234 0.05273 94 77 13 4
2441 Take two slices of Muenster and call me in the morning. 1.2234 0.04820 94 75 17 2
2442 Nah, you definitely won’t be a guinea pig- 1.2234 0.04820 94 75 17 2
2443 You're right, I did do my residency at Johns Hopkins. But then somebody told me that Baltimore was infested with cardiologists, so I decided to hang out my shingle here in Omaha. 1.2234 0.05273 94 77 13 4
2444 If this improves your sense of smell, so be it. 1.2234 0.05052 94 76 15 3
2445 Take two lefts, a right, then straight ahead to get your reward. 1.2234 0.05273 94 77 13 4
2446 There are side effects but at least the headaches should improve. 1.2234 0.05486 94 78 11 5
2447 You might not have, but if you did pick up a touch of bubonic plague during the exam, this'll help dull the pain. 1.2234 0.05052 94 76 15 3
2448 Please take your medication; your schizophrenia is getting much worse. 1.2234 0.05273 94 77 13 4
2449 The streptomycin will help with the symptoms, but we really need to examine where you think you might have been exposed. 1.2234 0.05052 94 76 15 3
2450 I am prescribing 500 mL of cheese to help alleviate the depression. Cheese makes everyone happy. And no, I am not just saying that because I'm a rat. 1.2234 0.04820 94 75 17 2
2451 This statin should help your cholesterol, but diet is still important. For me it was hardest to give up the cheese. 1.2234 0.05052 94 76 15 3
2452 I can assure you that our Cheese Only Dieting Formula has no side effects. 1.2234 0.05052 94 76 15 3
2453 Take my card, I won't bite you 1.2234 0.04820 94 75 17 2
2454 Don't worry, it's been tested in mice. 1.2234 0.05486 94 78 11 5
2455 Here's your prescription. Take one pill in the morning and one at night and you won't remember how much pain you were in all day. 1.2234 0.05273 94 77 13 4
2456 Don't worry. I wrote the damn bill! 1.2234 0.04820 94 75 17 2
2457 I took it and I’ve never felt better. 1.2234 0.05052 94 76 15 3
2458 The experiments will begin soon. This is your cage number, you must report immediately... 1.2234 0.04576 94 74 19 1
2459 With your promotion, you get a key to the executive maze room. 1.2234 0.05052 94 76 15 3
2460 Have you always been intimidates by mustaches? 1.2234 0.04820 94 75 17 2
2461 Are you experiencing any side effects? 1.2234 0.05052 94 76 15 3
2462 Nibble on two apples and call me in the morning. 1.2234 0.05273 94 77 13 4
2463 No, Splinter's my first cousin. Although, Leonardo did work reception for a summer. 1.2234 0.05486 94 78 11 5
2464 I couldn't give a rat's ass about the side effects. David A. Bader - New York, NY 1.2234 0.05052 94 76 15 3
2465 The main thing to avoid while taking these is hunting season. 1.2234 0.04820 94 75 17 2
2466 We can’t all be Atul Gawande. 1.2234 0.04576 94 74 19 1
2467 Most folks refer to this as Vitamin Z 1.2234 0.04820 94 75 17 2
2468 You should get a ahead too and feel different about yourself. 1.2234 0.05691 94 79 9 6
2469 If things with Little Red Riding Hood don’t work out...please, send her my way. 1.2234 0.04820 94 75 17 2
2470 This has a high success rate on rats! Believe me, it will cure your cancer, too! 1.2234 0.05052 94 76 15 3
2471 Take this and you'll never complain again. 1.2234 0.05486 94 78 11 5
2472 Trust me, there are no side effects 1.2234 0.05052 94 76 15 3
2473 Do several hundred lab tests sound good to you? 1.2234 0.04576 94 74 19 1
2474 It'll make you feel better. It's from the Rat Pack. 1.2234 0.05052 94 76 15 3
2475 Yes, cheese pills - but very potent! 1.2234 0.04576 94 74 19 1
2476 He's right you know. I tested it all night and 1+1 really is 2. 1.2234 0.05052 94 76 15 3
2477 It worked for me. It'll work for you. 1.2234 0.04820 94 75 17 2
2478 There’s an extra charge because your health insurance doesn’t cover fetish therapy. 1.2234 0.05273 94 77 13 4
2479 Yes, it was Aardvark getting a PHD. Anyway, here’s my card. 1.2234 0.04820 94 75 17 2
2480 Possible career path for test rats. 1.2234 0.05273 94 77 13 4
2481 You should really consider seeing a real doctor. 1.2234 0.04820 94 75 17 2
2482 Another myth busted. We just carry the plague. 1.2234 0.04820 94 75 17 2
2483 Side effects? Not really, although you may find yourself craving pizza on the subway. 1.2234 0.04820 94 75 17 2
2484 Don’t forget to take this with trash.” 1.2234 0.05052 94 76 15 3
2485 Stop looking at me as if I had the head of a jackass! 1.2234 0.04820 94 75 17 2
2486 Two daily should keep you off the couch. 1.2234 0.05052 94 76 15 3
2487 You can’t get out of the race, but these supplements should help. 1.2234 0.04820 94 75 17 2
2488 Training ninja turtles is just my side hustle. 1.2234 0.05052 94 76 15 3
2489 Yes, Master Splinter is my cousin. 1.2234 0.04820 94 75 17 2
2490 Fill this script at my Associate the Weasels pharmacy." 1.2234 0.04319 94 75 18 1
2491 Quite frankly, Peter, your only option is the Keto diet. 1.2234 0.05273 94 77 13 4
2492 The side effects are modest, I take it twice a day. 1.2234 0.04820 94 75 17 2
2493 This stuff really works. They tested it on me. 1.2234 0.05052 94 76 15 2
2494 I added OxyContin for the taste. Eh... your waist, the pain in your waist. 1.2234 0.05273 94 77 13 4
2495 I'll have to refer you to a colleague. I don't handle rat phobias. 1.2234 0.04820 94 75 17 2
2496 This should help abate your hallucinations 1.2234 0.05691 94 79 9 6
2497 Bob,take my card. Yes there is a doctor shortage,but I can tell more from your garbage than your blood test. 1.2234 0.04820 94 75 17 2
2498 Take a slice of cheddar and call me in the morning. 1.2234 0.04576 94 74 19 1
2499 OK OK, I was wrong about the trashcan on 7th and 11th. 1.2234 0.04820 94 75 17 2
2500 Hopefully, with these new pills, you will not see rats everywhere. 1.2234 0.04319 94 73 21 0
2501 I DON'T GIVE A RATS ASS ABOUT YOUR ATTITUDE 1.2234 0.04820 94 75 17 2
2502 The painkillers are for your back, but the antibiotics are for your plague. 1.2234 0.04820 94 75 17 2
2503 A classic cheese deficiency. Take one cheddar, one brie and one gouda and call me in the morning. 1.2234 0.04576 94 74 19 1
2504 Take this and, oh, what big (cough) you'll have! 1.2234 0.04820 94 75 17 2
2505 This will ease your pain for now. But for the long-term, give up the junk food. 1.2234 0.04820 94 75 17 2
2506 No one has ever called me a quack 1.2234 0.05273 94 77 13 4
2507 Take this and you’ll be back dumpster diving in no time. 1.2234 0.05273 94 77 13 4
2508 Trust me, it’s been tested on at least a few dozen of my siblings. 1.2234 0.05052 94 76 15 3
2509 We've found that when given in low doses, Thallium will do wonders for your latrophobia and musophobia alike. 1.2234 0.04820 94 75 17 2
2510 I hope I'm not being too forward, but call me maybe. 1.2234 0.04576 94 74 19 1
2511 Just try them. Opioids haven’t changed me. 1.2234 0.05052 94 76 15 3
2512 No vultures in this law firm, believe me! 1.2234 0.04576 94 74 19 1
2513 It's for the hallucinations. 1.2234 0.04576 94 74 19 1
2514 Take three of these daily. You really only need one, but this way I get paid three times more 1.2234 0.04576 94 74 19 1
2515 Gouda, twice a day for two weeks. 1.2234 0.04820 94 75 17 2
2516 Take all of them. My nurse will give you a little water. 1.2234 0.04820 94 75 17 2
2517 If this works on you, I’ll try it. 1.2222 0.04941 90 72 16 2
2518 You're clearly not eating enough cheese. 1.2222 0.05188 90 73 14 3
2519 Why do you ask about side effects? 1.2222 0.05188 90 73 14 3
2520 Well, not all doctors can prescribe, but all prescribing doctors are rats. 1.2222 0.04682 90 71 18 1
2521 A prescription for rat cheese should take care of that. 1.2222 0.05188 90 73 13 2
2522 We'll have you back to normal in no time - here's a prescription for 2 colonies with four refills. I'd like you to take 35,000 ants and termites daily. 1.2222 0.05188 90 72 14 3
2523 You'll take it for only half a dog-year. 1.2222 0.05423 90 74 12 4
2524 It works really well. I took it myself. There are a view side effects, though, I should warn you. 1.2222 0.05188 90 73 14 3
2525 Look,the side effects are minimal compared to the copay. 1.2222 0.05423 90 74 12 4
2526 Take 2 D-Con pellets and call me in the morning. 1.2222 0.05188 90 73 14 3
2527 Take two a day while you're in Baltimore. 1.2222 0.04941 90 72 16 2
2528 Attorneys are the sharks. We’re just rats. 1.2222 0.04941 90 72 16 2
2529 Take two subway pizza slices and see me in the morning.” 1.2222 0.05423 90 74 12 4
2530 Let's try this pan-species medication. 1.2222 0.05188 90 73 14 3
2531 I warned you there would be side-effects. Try to think of the hallucinations as a free face filter. 1.2222 0.04682 90 71 18 1
2532 All you know is that I'm from Baltimore. 1.2222 0.05648 90 75 10 5
2533 I’ve tried it. It’s perfectly fine. 1.2222 0.05423 90 74 12 4
2534 Don't let the jacket and tie fool ya. I know what I'm talkin' about! 1.2222 0.05188 90 73 14 3
2535 It's a great med, trust me. I was involved in the clinical trial. 1.2222 0.04407 90 70 20 0
2536 No, the 'M' in your HMO stands for 'Mouse-maintained'. 1.2222 0.05188 90 73 14 3
2537 You are the 5th maze cleaner I have hired this week. 1.2222 0.05423 90 74 12 4
2538 Good luck with my doctors' handwriting. 1.2222 0.05188 90 73 14 3
2539 Sorry your card was declined but do you have any food pellets on you? 1.2222 0.04941 90 72 16 2
2540 Of course it’s effective. I’ve tested a vat of it. 1.2222 0.04941 90 72 16 2
2541 Could you open this for me? It’s got a lower mammal-proof lid. 1.2209 0.05585 86 71 11 4
2542 Try this rat poison. It worked on my cousin 1.2198 0.04893 91 73 16 2
2543 I needed a high-paying career to put my four turtles through college. 1.2198 0.05136 91 74 14 3
2544 Look, they're safe. My cousin at Hopkins was in on the trial. 1.2198 0.04893 91 73 16 2
2545 So you're the one who ratted me out! 1.2198 0.05136 91 74 14 3
2546 Take this at home, in a secluded place, were carnivores will not find your rotting carcass. 1.2198 0.05136 91 74 14 3
2547 What did you expect; after all, I am a physician in Baltimore. 1.2198 0.05369 91 75 12 4
2548 Take these pills. Shit them out, and bring it back to me. 1.2198 0.05369 91 75 12 4
2549 Here is your Prescription. I know you take the #6 subway. Stop at 14th and pick it up at the end of the platform. 1.2198 0.05136 91 74 14 3
2550 We know risk. 1.2198 0.04893 91 73 16 2
2551 Take this. Speak up! The New Yorker is expecting SOMETHING in return for me wearing this ridiculous mask 1.2198 0.05136 91 74 14 3
2552 They accept pizza. 1.2198 0.04893 91 73 16 2
2553 Take this with a chicken...I mean soup. 1.2198 0.04893 91 73 16 2
2554 What am I? Do YOU know what I am?! Please! I need to know! 1.2198 0.04893 91 73 16 2
2555 I promise, when we finish treatment, you will really see me as I really am! 1.2198 0.05136 91 74 14 3
2556 Next time, my advice is to just let the cat sleep. 1.2198 0.05136 91 74 14 3
2557 Hey, trust me, I was just a test rat once, but look at me now. 1.2198 0.05136 91 74 14 3
2558 Take this and don’t worry. I graduated from the medical school of mice and men. 1.2198 0.05369 91 75 12 4
2559 Black is my name, Black Death. But dont worry its just the alias I got from the time in my metal band. 1.2198 0.04893 91 73 16 2
2560 Try this—if you start hallucinating rats call me immediately. 1.2198 0.05369 91 75 12 4
2561 This should help with you urge to mark your territory 1.2198 0.04636 91 72 18 1
2562 Just a little something to help you fight the hallucinations. 1.2198 0.05136 91 74 14 3
2563 I'll give you the rest when you find all the piggies. 1.2198 0.04893 91 73 16 2
2564 I've increased the dosage so your trap feels more like a maze. 1.2198 0.05369 91 75 12 4
2565 Just in case you ever do have chronic pain. 1.2198 0.05369 91 75 12 4
2566 Thank goodness for technology. I wasn't able to keep up with all my kids until I had a smartphone. 1.2198 0.05591 91 76 10 5
2567 And it's a much lower dose than I received in the lab. 1.2198 0.05136 91 74 14 3
2568 Trust me. I tested this one myself. 1.2198 0.04893 91 73 16 2
2569 I'm sure you can tell that I'm not a quack..... 1.2198 0.04893 91 73 16 2
2570 Take it with more hay and less alfalfa. 1.2198 0.04893 91 73 16 2
2571 Don't worry, I tested these pills myself. 1.2198 0.04893 91 73 16 2
2572 Don't worry, this medication was tested on lab humans. Susan Elwood..Monterey CA 1.2198 0.05369 91 75 12 4
2573 Relax Mr Jones, I assure you “rat poison” is just an expression! 1.2198 0.05136 91 74 14 3
2574 You can’t keep weaseling your way out of taking your meds. 1.2198 0.05136 91 74 14 3
2575 Take 20 aspirin and call me in the morning. 1.2198 0.05369 91 75 12 4
2576 Here's a prescription that'll enhance your cognitive abilities...I was in the beta trials. 1.2198 0.05136 91 74 14 3
2577 And finally this one's for the hallucinations. 1.2198 0.04365 91 71 20 0
2578 If I still look like a talking rat after taking these, it's you not me. 1.2198 0.05136 91 74 14 3
2579 I've never told a patient this but, your eyes are beautiful. 1.2198 0.05136 91 74 14 3
2580 Here are your opioids. Don't rat me out. 1.2198 0.05136 91 74 14 3
2581 Oh, I'll still be a rat, but at this higher dose, having a rodent for a doctor will seem normal. 1.2198 0.04893 91 73 16 2
2582 Here's a script for some cheddar served on a wet sidewalk in Brooklyn. 1.2198 0.04893 91 73 16 2
2583 Take this once a day with food. Preferably a block of cheese. 1.2198 0.05591 91 76 10 5
2584 take my card anyway for when you’re nearing death and remember rats have the best survival rates of any mammal 1.2198 0.05591 91 76 10 5
2585 This will really help your maze-solving times 1.2198 0.04636 91 72 18 1
2586 Don’t worry. It’s just Bubonic Plague. Antibiotics should knock it out in a few days. 1.2198 0.04893 91 73 16 2
2587 I won the rat race. 1.2198 0.04893 91 73 16 2
2588 Take this I was one of the lab rats that discovered it. 1.2198 0.04893 91 73 16 2
2589 Its called Cyclopsadrine. Take one daily. 1.2198 0.05136 91 74 14 3
2590 Good luck with the bureaucratic maze. 1.2198 0.04893 91 73 16 2
2591 I think you’ll find an emotional support animal very beneficial 1.2198 0.04893 91 73 16 2
2592 It's all recorded right here, and man, you're going to pay, said Dr. Rat. 1.2195 0.05494 82 67 12 3
2593 Yeah, pretty good. Yourself? 1.2195 0.05494 82 67 12 3
2594 This is my receipt from the dry cleaner. You can have my turtlenecks. 1.2195 0.05762 82 68 10 4
2595 This will make your skin as smooth as mine. 1.2195 0.05494 82 67 12 3
2596 This will help your face grow-into your eyes. It works great, see? 1.2195 0.05213 82 66 14 2
2597 Sorry, but me being a giant ferret and you suffering from hallucinations are not mutually exclusive. 1.2195 0.05494 82 67 12 3
2598 Here's a prescription for something I always take. 1.2195 0.05494 82 67 12 3
2599 The reason I look strange is your eyes are majorly f’d up. 1.2195 0.05762 82 68 10 4
2600 ...and sensitivity to light and scurrying thru trash at night, should lessen in two weeks 1.2195 0.05213 82 66 14 2
2601 Wolf one of these down each night at bedtime. 1.2195 0.05494 82 67 12 3
2602 I assure you I am a board certified plastic surgeon. 1.2195 0.05762 82 68 10 4
2603 I swear Doug, I thought I was getting into “Big Parma.” Anyway, here’s your prescription. 1.2195 0.05213 82 66 14 2
2604 Warfarin? No I wouldn't take it myself. 1.2195 0.05494 82 67 12 3
2605 Here is a prescription for pizza. It cures everything. 1.2195 0.05213 82 66 14 2
2606 Take my word. We are the best in the world for organ transplants. 1.2195 0.05762 82 68 10 4
2607 I've tried these myself. The results are 'mazing! 1.2195 0.05494 82 67 12 3
2608 Sorry, I no longer make house calls. 1.2195 0.05213 82 66 14 2
2609 Here's the number of a guy I know who studies your condition. 1.2159 0.05469 88 73 11 4
2610 I've used this myself and I never experienced any side-effects. 1.2159 0.04968 88 71 15 2
2611 I can vouch for this drug. 1.2159 0.04968 88 71 15 2
2612 Why would you think you'd get hooked on these? 1.2159 0.04968 88 71 15 2
2613 Even after FDA approval, we are all part of one big longitudinal clinical trial. 1.2159 0.05225 88 72 13 3
2614 It's Fantastic Dr. Fox these days. 1.2159 0.05469 88 73 11 4
2615 This should clear up your catarats in days... 1.2159 0.05469 88 73 11 4
2616 I’d like to see you again in a week but also... I feel there’s something you need to say but haven’t. I think I can guess but why don’t you tell me? 1.2159 0.04698 88 70 17 1
2617 Side effects may include hallucinations. 1.2159 0.04968 88 71 15 2
2618 Take two of these and the hallucinations should stop - or I could become a shark. 1.2159 0.05225 88 72 13 3
2619 I highly recommend this drug. I was even an early test subject for it. 1.2159 0.05225 88 72 13 3
2620 Don’t get catty with me, sir. 1.2159 0.05225 88 72 13 3
2621 This drug isn't FDA approved but trust me, it's been tested. 1.2159 0.05225 88 72 13 3
2622 You wouldn't believe what a rat race med school was." 1.2159 0.05469 88 73 11 4
2623 If this final treatment does not gain the desired results, you can still live a fruitful life among people of your own kind. 1.2159 0.04698 88 70 17 1
2624 I got these free from a pharmaceutical salesperson so I know it's good stuff. 1.2159 0.04698 88 70 17 1
2625 You need a cheese free diet 1.2159 0.05225 88 72 13 3
2626 Here's the card of my contemporary in Baltimore." 1.2159 0.05469 88 73 11 4
2627 Take two of these once a month and limit your exposure to the Moon. 1.2159 0.04698 88 70 17 1
2628 We are an upward bound firm. Shaving is out of style. 1.2159 0.05469 88 73 11 4
2629 Yes - Donald J. Trump, why? 1.2159 0.05469 88 73 11 4
2630 You should have seen my handwriting before the accident. 1.2159 0.04698 88 70 17 1
2631 I know what this looks like, but trust me: it's the pharmacies that are the real rats. 1.2159 0.05469 88 73 11 4
2632 It's highly effective, but we need a human canidate to test on. 1.2159 0.04698 88 70 17 1
2633 No, I’m not sure if it’s safe, we had to stop testing on humans 1.2159 0.04968 88 71 15 2
2634 This prescription will take care of the hallucinations or my name isn't Dr. Fink! 1.2159 0.04968 88 71 15 2
2635 Side effects include impaired eyesight, and paranoia 1.2159 0.05469 88 73 11 4
2636 This is a prescription for Warfarin. It seems to helps your species but for me it is just "rat poison". 1.2159 0.04698 88 70 17 1
2637 Here's a prescription for warfarin. 1.2159 0.05703 88 74 9 5
2638 Relax, it worked on my cousins in the lab. 1.2159 0.05225 88 72 13 3
2639 Side effects may include a burning desire for cheese. 1.2159 0.04968 88 71 15 2
2640 Seriously Doc, you’ve got to stop coming straight to work from Epstein’s Eyes Wide Shut parties! 1.2159 0.04698 88 70 17 1
2641 Trust me, the side effects are overblown. I take it myself. 1.2159 0.04968 88 71 15 2
2642 Take it from me. Follow these directions implicitly. 1.2159 0.05225 88 72 13 3
2643 Here's your new prescription. The side effects are less severe. 1.2159 0.04968 88 70 15 2
2644 It’s okay—you’re just a little horse. 1.2159 0.04968 88 71 15 2
2645 Works great, made my wife into a real pussy cat 1.2159 0.04698 88 70 17 1
2646 No, No, I'm Karl Samsa. Your thinking of Gregor. 1.2159 0.05469 88 73 11 4
2647 Try this new drug, I was involved with the testing program myself. 1.2159 0.05225 88 72 13 3
2648 When you return next week, Mr. Hood, I'd like you to bring your wife, Red Riding, with you. Better to SEE her too. 1.2159 0.04968 88 71 15 2
2649 Just because I'm not human means I should charge you less? 1.2159 0.05225 88 72 13 3
2650 I recommend this medication - it's been tested on me. 1.2159 0.04698 88 70 17 1
2651 Don't be intimidated by my framed college degrees. 1.2159 0.05225 88 72 13 3
2652 Is it safe? Of course it’s safe. Confidentially, I’ve been on the same stuff for years and just look at me. 1.2159 0.05469 88 73 11 4
2653 So in a parallel universe doctor dog is your vet 1.2159 0.05469 88 72 11 4
2654 Yes, the transition was difficult - why do you ask?” 1.2159 0.05225 88 72 13 3
2655 This prescription will help suppress your delusion of being a human. 1.2159 0.04968 88 71 15 2
2656 I suggest you take this to a pet friendly drug store. 1.2159 0.04698 88 70 17 1
2657 Here's my card. Trust me, we do the best GMO research on the planet. 1.2159 0.04698 88 70 17 1
2658 If the hallucinations continue, feel free to call this number after hours. 1.2159 0.04968 88 71 15 2
2659 Trust me, go give this to your grandma. I'm a doctor. 1.2159 0.04698 88 70 17 1
2660 I assure you, Frank, this drug has been thoroughly lab-tested and approved. I take it myself. 1.2159 0.05469 88 73 11 4
2661 It's cheddar. 1.2159 0.04968 88 71 15 2
2662 Here’s a prescription that will help with your hallucinations. 1.2159 0.04968 88 71 15 2
2663 You can trust me. I've eaten garbage from both Harvard and Yale. 1.2159 0.05225 88 72 13 3
2664 Try this. We have no clue as to whether it works or not 1.2159 0.05225 88 72 13 3
2665 Yes, this medication has been tested on lab humans. 1.2159 0.04698 88 70 17 1
2666 Here's your prescription. Eat more squirrels. 1.2159 0.04968 88 71 15 2
2667 The Gouda's generic; the Brie, domestic. 1.2159 0.05225 88 72 13 3
2668 This should take care of your pest problem. 1.2159 0.05225 88 72 13 3
2669 Here’s the great white shark repellent for your Bahamas dives. 1.2159 0.04698 88 70 17 1
2670 This should work it has only been tested on humans. 1.2159 0.05225 88 72 13 3
2671 This psychologist will help you with your hallucinations. 1.2159 0.05225 88 72 13 3
2672 Take my word for it. The side effects are limited to an insatiable appetite for cheese and aversion to cats. 1.2159 0.04698 88 70 17 1
2673 This is tonight's special 1.2159 0.04968 88 71 15 2
2674 It's perfectly safe. We tested on humans" 1.2159 0.04698 88 70 17 1
2675 Get on the wheel more and lay off the pizza. 1.2159 0.05225 88 72 13 3
2676 Take this once a day, and if you keep having weird visions come back and see me. 1.2159 0.04698 88 70 17 1
2677 I have something important to tell you. 1.2159 0.05469 88 73 11 4
2678 These anticoagulants should help with the paranoia and hallucinations. 1.2159 0.04411 88 69 19 0
2679 3 mozzarella wheels 3 times a day. This coupon is expired, but they’re adorably susceptible to gaslighting. 1.2159 0.05225 88 72 13 3
2680 Take it with food - preferably rabbits. 1.2159 0.04698 88 70 17 1
2681 These pills are guaranteed to make you bright-eyed and bushy-tailed. 1.2159 0.04698 88 70 17 1
2682 This ticket is good for one free tour of the maze. 1.2159 0.05225 88 72 13 3
2683 The good news is that you have nothing serious. The bad news is that I’m about to eat you. 1.2159 0.05703 88 74 9 5
2684 Take two Mini Babybels and call me in the morning. 1.2159 0.05469 88 73 11 4
2685 Call the rat catcher and I'll kill you ! 1.2159 0.05225 88 72 13 3
2686 This is a prescription to play dead and the problem resolves itself" 1.2159 0.04968 88 71 15 2
2687 I've got a cousin uptown if you want a second opinion. 1.2159 0.04968 88 71 15 2
2688 Here's your new prescription. It's been safely tested in mice. 1.2159 0.04968 88 71 15 2
2689 Sorry, it's a bit of a maze to get out of here. 1.2159 0.04968 88 71 15 2
2690 Dr. B. F. Skinner has worked wonders for me. 1.2159 0.05225 88 71 13 3
2691 Trust me. Less than 5% of the people who take this experience side effects. 1.2159 0.04968 88 71 15 2
2692 I'm sending you to a specialist. He has a nose for these things. 1.2159 0.04968 88 71 15 2
2693 Tell them Dr. Rizzo sent you. 1.2159 0.04968 88 71 15 2
2694 Did you order a pizza with extra cheese? If you did, I’ll have to deny we have a relationship! 1.2159 0.04968 88 71 15 2
2695 baltimore doctor ? 1.2159 0.05225 88 72 13 3
2696 Take one pill of cheddar twice a day. 1.2159 0.04968 88 71 15 2
2697 No, we don't take your insurance, but I am willing to barter for livestock. 1.2159 0.05225 88 72 13 3
2698 It was like the Pixar movie Ratatouille except I was in a surgeon's scrub cap 1.2159 0.04968 88 71 15 2
2699 If these pills don't work I strongly suggest getting out of this rat race. 1.2159 0.05225 88 72 13 3
2700 Believe me, I had the same thing. This prescription should fix you right up. 1.2159 0.05225 88 72 13 3
2701 Take two and call an exterminator in the morning. 1.2159 0.04698 88 70 17 1
2702 Welcome to Baltimore. This will get you one can of Raid. 1.2159 0.05703 88 74 9 5
2703 Take two aspirin and avoid fox hunting 1.2159 0.05469 88 73 11 4
2704 That’s not even funny. I never suspected you’d rat me out. 1.2159 0.05469 88 73 11 4
2705 Okay, you try it! 1.2159 0.05469 88 73 11 4
2706 This pill has been proven to kill vermin, but I'm sure it's safe for you and your paranoia. 1.2159 0.05225 88 72 13 3
2707 Was this prescription written by a 9-foot, four-fingered rodent!? 1.2159 0.05225 88 72 13 3
2708 Don't worry. This is a lighter dose. 1.2159 0.04698 88 70 17 1
2709 Yes, I’m prescribing cheese! Wash it down with bacon and peanut butter. 1.2159 0.05469 88 73 11 4
2710 Another appointment or two and we'll ferret out your problem. 1.2159 0.04968 88 71 15 2
2711 Hey man, ketamine is legal now. I think it's for anxiety or something. I don't know. Anyway, this one is on me. 1.2159 0.04968 88 71 15 2
2712 try cutting out the midnight trips to the bodega, okay? 1.2159 0.04968 88 71 15 2
2713 Yeah, Uncle Pizza Rat put me through med school. Here’s his card; call him. 1.2159 0.04411 88 69 19 0
2714 What doesn’t kill you makes me stronger. 1.2159 0.05469 88 73 11 4
2715 Of course it’s safe, it was tested on my brother. 1.2159 0.04698 88 70 17 1
2716 If you can't tell what animal I am, take these pills. 1.2159 0.05225 88 72 13 3
2717 Take some time off. There's a little house in the woods.... 1.2159 0.04698 88 70 17 1
2718 Rat face is contagious. Get yourself some pills. 1.2159 0.05225 88 72 13 3
2719 How's it feel to be the Lab Rat now? Wanna try the eye chart again? 1.2159 0.04968 88 71 15 2
2720 Take two and squeak me in the morning. 1.2159 0.05225 88 72 13 3
2721 Don’t worry, the pharmacy will know it’s viagra. 1.2159 0.05469 88 73 11 4
2722 Eat more cheese. 1.2159 0.04698 88 70 17 1
2723 ' Three of us did a blind study, and it's been proven safe and effective!' 1.2159 0.05225 88 72 13 3
2724 What do you mean when you say "I smell a rat?" 1.2159 0.04968 88 71 15 2
2725 My handwriting isn't that bad. 1.2159 0.04968 88 71 15 2
2726 Here's a prescription for eye drops. Three times a day, for a week. Then let me know if the condition persists. 1.2159 0.04968 88 71 15 2
2727 Take this to the lab for some tests I’d like you to take. For your participation, there will be some cheesy rewards. 1.2159 0.04968 88 71 15 2
2728 It's a mole. 1.2159 0.05469 88 73 11 4
2729 Relax - it's been tested on humans. 1.2159 0.04968 88 71 15 2
2730 This prescription is for a great new wonder drug … tested it myself. 1.2159 0.04411 88 69 19 0
2731 No it's not a mask 1.2159 0.05225 88 72 13 3
2732 Take 20 milligrams of Wolfsbane and call me in the ... no need to call. 1.2159 0.05469 88 73 11 4
2733 "Your CATastrophic insurance should cover this" 1.2159 0.05225 88 72 13 3
2734 Take these twice a day, it will keep the wolf from The door ! 1.2159 0.05225 88 72 13 3
2735 Right now, I'm departing from my role as M.D., and using the powers of hypnosis to convince you that you are a mouse. Is it working? 1.2159 0.04968 88 71 15 2
2736 Its an office maze anti-depressant 1.2159 0.05225 88 72 13 3
2737 Doctors and nurses got too expensive for the business. Plus, they figured we could inform on anyone trying to unionize. 1.2159 0.04968 88 71 15 2
2738 I used to be ‘the wolf at your door’, but we no longer make house calls. 1.2159 0.04968 88 71 15 2
2739 Take these after surgery. I'll probably bite you. 1.2159 0.04968 88 71 15 2
2740 You may find yourself howling at the moon 1.2159 0.05225 88 72 13 3
2741 Thanks again for leaving your cat at home today Bill. I know how attached you are to "Fluffy" and take her everywhere but for some strange reason she just gives me the creeps. 1.2159 0.04968 88 71 15 2
2742 It's a prescription for CBD infused cheese. 1.2159 0.05469 88 73 11 4
2743 Take this too. I'm behind on my kickback quotas. 1.2159 0.04698 88 70 17 1
2744 You can get this filled at the pharmacy. Just go around back by the dumpster. 1.2159 0.04968 88 71 15 2
2745 Of course, it’s a good prescription! Who would know better than me? I was the test subject! 1.2159 0.05469 88 73 11 4
2746 I’ll give you a prescription, but I’m required to warn you: it’s only been approved for use on humans; the definitive testing for rats hasn’t been completed. 1.2159 0.04968 88 71 15 2
2747 It is a prescription for Rodentia, a replacement for the generic placebo that worked too well. 1.2159 0.05225 88 72 13 3
2748 Funnily enough, they tested this on me before I went to medical school. 1.2159 0.04968 88 71 15 2
2749 Ok, ok, last time I swear....is this your prescription? 1.2159 0.05469 88 73 11 4
2750 So, take this twice-a-day for ten days, and you should be feeling like a rat again in no time at all. 1.2159 0.04968 88 71 15 2
2751 I understand, sir, but your insurance doesn't cover human doctors. 1.2159 0.04698 88 70 17 1
2752 I think you need to Wolf-out more. 1.2159 0.05469 88 73 11 4
2753 No, I didn't personally test it on lab rats. 1.2159 0.04698 88 70 17 1
2754 It'll put fur on your chest. 1.2159 0.04968 88 71 15 2
2755 I insist not to give a rat's ass. Call this number if you have complaints. 1.2159 0.05225 88 72 13 3
2756 Here's a prescription for blue cheese - lots of penicillin in it! 1.2159 0.04968 88 71 15 2
2757 Here's my card. And yes, I know what the president said, but really I'm the only one of my species in Baltimore with a medical degree. 1.2159 0.05225 88 72 13 3
2758 "Trust me. These will help. I worked in labs most of my life." 1.2159 0.05225 88 72 13 3
2759 The nutcracker gig is seasonal...anyway, take 1 tab twice a day and call me in a week if the rash doesn’t clear up. 1.2159 0.05225 88 72 13 3
2760 Had the same problem. Take these and stop drinking out of toilet bowl 1.2159 0.05469 88 73 11 4
2761 You seem a little edgy. I want you to start taking these. 1.2159 0.05225 88 72 13 3
2762 Here's the prescription for the drug study I volunteered you for. 1.2159 0.05225 88 72 13 3
2763 Call me if you feel any more symptoms of frail humanity 1.2159 0.05225 88 72 13 3
2764 Why ever would you think it's experimental? 1.2159 0.04698 88 70 17 1
2765 “Scientists had great results testing this drug on my extended family” 1.2159 0.04698 88 70 17 1
2766 No, I specialize in bubonic plague, the tick's down the hall. 1.2159 0.05469 88 73 11 4
2767 Just follow the instructions on the prescription and you'll be able to cope with the rat race much easier. 1.2159 0.05225 88 72 13 3
2768 Believe me,I've used this drug for years and the side effects are minimal. 1.2159 0.04968 88 71 15 2
2769 I’ve used this myself with no side-effects. 1.2159 0.04698 88 70 17 1
2770 Did I say “strychnine”? 1.2159 0.04698 88 70 17 1
2771 Just try it. Look how much it helped me. 1.2159 0.05225 88 72 13 3
2772 This prescription will help you be comfortable with the fact that I'm really a rat in doctor's clothing! 1.2159 0.04968 88 71 15 2
2773 I'm prescribing the generic cheddar. 1.2159 0.04698 88 70 17 1
2774 So you don't like my offer to gnaw it off? Take this and let me know if you change your mind. 1.2159 0.04968 88 71 15 2
2775 How do you think I got through the maze? 1.2159 0.04698 88 70 17 1
2776 These pills will cure your depression. My expertise is understanding the rat race. 1.2159 0.04968 88 71 15 2
2777 If it works for you, then we'll try it in the lab. 1.2159 0.04968 88 71 15 2
2778 Here's your prescription for Warfarin, and stop calling it rat poison. 1.2159 0.05225 88 72 13 3
2779 Substitute soy based cheese for dairy. I find it gives less gastric upset. 1.2159 0.05225 88 72 13 3
2780 Take your medication or the hallucinations will continue. 1.2159 0.04968 88 71 15 2
2781 We do most of our testing on rats. 1.2159 0.04968 88 71 15 2
2782 Trust me, take this instead, your last doctor was a weasel. 1.2159 0.04968 88 71 15 2
2783 You can get this prescription filled in the alley out back. 1.2159 0.04968 88 71 15 2
2784 Well yes, you might start craving field mice taking this...why do you ask?... 1.2159 0.04968 88 71 15 2
2785 Trust me. Nine of of ten rat-doctors recommend this medication. 1.2159 0.05469 88 73 11 4
2786 No worries. I tested this drug myself. 1.2159 0.05225 88 72 13 3
2787 Here is my card. We may have a desk for you when you are ready to transition. 1.2159 0.04968 88 71 15 2
2788 Cut down cheeses and run more mazes. 1.2159 0.04698 88 70 17 1
2789 Take these for a squeak. 1.2159 0.04968 88 71 15 2
2790 Now who's the rat? 1.2159 0.04968 88 71 15 2
2791 That will be two pounds of Limburger and three boxes of Cheez-its. 1.2159 0.05225 88 72 13 3
2792 This prescription is one that I would give to myself if I had your symptoms. 1.2159 0.05225 88 72 13 3
2793 A few minimal side effects, took it myself. 1.2159 0.05225 88 72 13 3
2794 What didn't kill me, will make you stronger. 1.2159 0.04968 88 71 15 2
2795 Takes these pills and you will be able to lick your butt like me. 1.2159 0.05225 88 72 13 3
2796 Take these pills, and you'll stop seeing rats everywhere. 1.2159 0.04968 88 71 15 2
2797 Take two daily; they're good for bubonic. 1.2159 0.04698 88 70 17 1
2798 Excuse me? Exactly what is wrong with “weaseling” money out of you? 1.2159 0.04968 88 71 15 2
2799 Do I look like a holistic doctor? 1.2159 0.04968 88 71 15 2
2800 No, I don't want you to take the opioids, I want you to flush them down the toilet so my brother's can get them for free 1.2159 0.05469 88 73 11 4
2801 I'm doing this for you as a favor, Lenny, but if you tell anyone-- well, let's just say that I know some guys. 1.2159 0.05469 88 73 11 4
2802 Come on Doc, what RATe are you getting on this? 1.2159 0.04411 88 69 19 0
2803 No, it was not tested on me first. 1.2159 0.04411 88 69 19 0
2804 Look - crack is no longer wack. Plus, I'm a doctor. 1.2159 0.04968 88 71 15 2
2805 I took this back when I was in the lab, and I feel a lot more human now 1.2159 0.05703 88 74 9 5
2806 Of course, it works. I've had this treatment several times. 1.2159 0.05225 88 72 13 3
2807 ‘Avoid all red meat - eat only lamb; it works for me.’ 1.2159 0.04968 88 71 15 2
2808 Take three a day with cheese, it's worked wonders on me. 1.2159 0.04698 88 70 17 1
2809 Take these and you will be scampering everywhere! Only problem - you leave little pellets all over the house. 1.2159 0.04698 88 70 17 1
2810 Don’t worry. It’s been tested extensively. 1.2159 0.04968 88 71 15 2
2811 And don't believe anything people say about me! 1.2159 0.04698 88 70 17 1
2812 Try this, it worked in a human model of disease. 1.2159 0.05469 88 73 11 4
2813 Yes, I am a lab rat. So? 1.2159 0.04698 88 70 17 1
2814 Here, take these three times a day with cheese. 1.2159 0.05225 88 72 13 3
2815 OK, 15 apiece, do it for Bill & Hillary 1.2159 0.05469 88 73 11 4
2816 I appear to have a problem with the mouse! 1.2159 0.04698 88 70 17 1
2817 Here's your prescription for "Rat"talin, that should calm you down. 1.2159 0.05225 88 72 13 3
2818 I recommend you get plastic surgery as soon as possible 1.2159 0.04698 88 70 17 1
2819 It's a race and you need a job. 1.2159 0.05225 88 72 13 3
2820 I want you to gnaw one of these every morning, one before bed. 1.2159 0.04698 88 70 17 1
2821 Take two of these and you won’t see all doctors as pill-pushing money-grabbing hyenas. 1.2143 0.05101 84 68 14 2
2822 Just don't you worry about my degree. I'm wearing the white coat and writing you a prescription, aren't I? 1.2143 0.05101 84 68 14 2
2823 Take two of these for anxiety, and don't eat any food you find just lying in your usual pathway. 1.2143 0.04812 84 67 16 1
2824 You appear to have caught that bug that's going around Baltimore. 1.2135 0.05412 89 74 11 4
2825 A prescription for Vitamin K1 in case you need it. Three times a week on the wheel, and keep working the maze to stay sharp. 1.2135 0.05171 89 73 13 3
2826 Look, my cousin is way more relaxed now when he is forced to swim. I think this could really help. 1.2135 0.05171 89 73 13 3
2827 I am afraid you'll have to come through proper channel for mutation 1.2135 0.04918 89 72 15 2
2828 Bubonic? Nah, it's not life threatening. I've had several times myself. 1.2135 0.05171 89 73 13 3
2829 Sure it’s safe. I take it all the time. 1.2135 0.05171 89 73 13 3
2830 Call this guy, he's human. 1.2135 0.05171 89 73 13 3
2831 No, I really don't think the meds are working 1.2135 0.05171 89 72 12 3
2832 When you have a panic attack, take one of these and scurry back into the wall. 1.2135 0.04918 89 72 15 2
2833 I'm prescribing this experimental drug. I had no side effects 1.2135 0.04651 89 71 17 1
2834 Trust me, you'll need to fill this prescription before the next full moon. 1.2135 0.05171 89 73 13 3
2835 Trust me, a quarter pound of Gouda should take care of that 1.2118 0.05047 85 69 14 2
2836 Take this twice a day and lay of the Acid. 1.2118 0.05317 85 70 12 3
2837 Nothing to worry about. I take this myself! 1.2118 0.05047 85 69 14 2
2838 Here's the number of my pig guy. 1.2118 0.05575 85 71 10 4
2839 You may be in the control group which has no risk of sterilization. 1.2118 0.05317 85 70 12 3
2840 Come on, just take it--you think I'd bite you? 1.2118 0.05317 85 70 12 3
2841 I'm an honorary member of the Rat Pack 1.2118 0.05047 85 69 14 2
2842 My prescription to all anti-Trumpers is to start watching "Fox & Friends! 1.2118 0.05317 85 70 12 3
2843 I SAID, go to the maze room. 1.2118 0.05317 85 70 12 3
2844 Actually, what's more ironic is that I really do hope you get better. 1.2118 0.05317 85 70 12 3
2845 I was part of the trials so I can say with authority it works. 1.2118 0.04458 85 67 18 0
2846 I recommend you take this drug with a piece of cheese. 1.2118 0.04762 85 68 16 1
2847 This'll help, it's called ratatouli. 1.2118 0.05047 85 69 14 2
2848 Here you can buy the same mouse costume. 1.2118 0.04762 85 68 16 1
2849 Eat two of your young and call me in the morning. 1.2118 0.05047 85 69 14 2
2850 He's on the other side of the city, but he's the best barber in Baltimore. 1.2118 0.05317 85 70 12 3
2851 Take this to the pharmacy window. Just turn right and go through the maze. 1.2118 0.05317 85 70 12 3
2852 Take two D-cons and call me in the morning. 1.2118 0.05047 85 69 14 2
2853 This is the generic for Milk Bone. It’ll save you a few bucks. 1.2118 0.05317 85 70 12 3
2854 Warfarin, at breakfast and dinner!" 1.2118 0.05317 85 70 12 3
2855 Take two gouda and call me in the morning. 1.2118 0.05047 85 69 14 2
2856 ...and speaking from personal experience, at this dosage it will really boost your maze game. 1.2118 0.04762 85 68 16 1
2857 And I strongly advise that you avoid being human as often as possible. It’s almost as bad for you as you are for the planet. 1.2118 0.05047 85 69 14 2
2858 Here's your ticket to the rat race . . . 1.2118 0.05575 85 71 10 4
2859 I'm prescribing a five day course of sharp cheddar. 1.2118 0.05317 85 70 12 3
2860 Don’t worry, I’ve been doing open chests for a long time. 1.2118 0.05575 85 71 10 4
2861 Now be careful, this cheddar has been known to be quite addictive. 1.2118 0.05575 85 71 10 4
2862 Of course you can trust it! I tested it myself! 1.2118 0.04762 85 68 16 1
2863 It's your conscience; it is a very personal decision. I found these are the only thing that keeps mine quiet. 1.2118 0.05575 85 71 10 4
2864 My vet says this stuff works great. 1.2118 0.05047 85 69 14 2
2865 My colleagues said the side effects aren't too bad. 1.2118 0.04458 85 67 18 0
2866 As a lab rat, I know side effects may include anthropomorphizing your drug dealer. 1.2118 0.05047 85 69 14 2
2867 Welcome to the CosLab, I think you'll fit right in. 1.2118 0.05575 85 71 10 4
2868 I'm prescribing you warfarin for your heart condition. Wouldn't touch the stuff myself but I think you'll find it very helpful. 1.2118 0.05047 85 69 14 2
2869 One slide of cheddar every three hours for a month and you'll soon feel gRATe again. 1.2118 0.05317 85 70 12 3
2870 take 2 and we'll see if you call me in the morning 1.2118 0.05820 85 72 8 5
2871 Take it from a lab rat, this cure works. 1.2118 0.04458 85 67 18 0
2872 I've tried it many times myself. 1.2118 0.05575 85 71 10 4
2873 Take this to your preferred fromager" 1.2118 0.05575 85 71 10 4
2874 Here is the guy who grooms my facial hair. 1.2118 0.05317 85 70 12 3
2875 I'd like you to take part in an experiment.... 1.2118 0.04762 85 68 16 1
2876 I know appointment cards are obsolete these days, but they keep printing them so I keep handing them out. 1.2118 0.04762 85 68 16 1
2877 Trust me, this has been thoroughly tested. 1.2118 0.05047 85 69 14 2
2878 "Take 1 kilogram of Roquefort before bed and I'll see you next month" 1.2118 0.05047 85 69 14 2
2879 If it worked for me, it'll work for you. 1.2118 0.05317 85 69 12 3
2880 Do one maze in the morning and one before bed. 1.2118 0.05047 85 69 14 2
2881 Here's the card of a good exterminator 1.2118 0.04762 85 68 16 1
2882 Anxiety? Take this. You are not allergic to cheese right? 1.2118 0.05317 85 70 12 3
2883 I'll take the co-pay in cheese. 1.2118 0.05317 85 70 12 3
2884 It will do more than mitigate, it will exterminate. 1.2118 0.05317 85 70 12 3
2885 I speak from experience—this medicine works miracles. 1.2118 0.05317 85 68 11 3
2886 My relatives have tested this for months, trust me it's safe. 1.2118 0.05575 85 71 10 4
2887 Stop taking the PCP. Take this prescription for Oxycodone instead. 1.2118 0.05575 85 71 10 4
2888 Take two and squeak for me in the morning. 1.2118 0.04458 85 67 18 0
2889 Here’s a prescription for a new drug. It’s very safe. As a matter of fact I use it myself 1.2118 0.05317 85 70 12 3
2890 Take these three times a day and you’ll be looking like your old rat self again in no time. 1.2118 0.05317 85 70 12 3
2891 I'm referring you to a mole who specializes in moles. 1.2118 0.05317 85 70 12 3
2892 This dose comes in large or small pellets, your pick. 1.2093 0.04994 86 70 14 2
2893 You got a problem? This card is a problem. 1.2093 0.05758 86 73 8 5
2894 I worked my way up from researchee. 1.2093 0.05261 86 71 12 3
2895 Mr. Sackler, Are You Questioning My Authority ? 1.2093 0.04712 86 69 16 1
2896 It's a rat race out there 1.2093 0.04712 86 69 16 1
2897 This prescription drug has been proven very effective in cats. 1.2093 0.04994 86 70 14 2
2898 Sorry, I don't take a slice of cheese as payment. 1.2093 0.04994 86 70 14 2
2899 This is from a rat, never trust a mole 1.2093 0.04994 86 70 14 2
2900 If you're not happy with our services, my brother is a lawyer 1.2093 0.05261 86 71 12 3
2901 I'm giving you a prescription for cheese, specifically Swiss. 1.2093 0.05261 86 71 12 3
2902 Is this your card? 1.2093 0.05261 86 71 12 3
2903 I don’t even like pizza. 1.2093 0.04994 86 70 14 2
2904 This medicine is guaranteed. It was tested on me and look at me now. 1.2093 0.05261 86 71 12 3
2905 I’ve taken it myself. 1.2093 0.05261 86 71 12 3
2906 I don't believe you. I smell a human. 1.2093 0.05261 86 71 12 3
2907 Take these pills to keep the monster you keep inside in check!!! 1.2093 0.04712 86 69 16 1
2908 Take 2 of these and call me in the morning. They will control your hallucinations. 1.2093 0.05515 86 72 10 4
2909 It's perfectly safe, tested on my fellow rats. 1.2093 0.04994 86 70 14 2
2910 Take two pills before bedtime and if you have morning, hallucinations slice some provolone and give me a call. 1.2093 0.04712 86 69 16 1
2911 Here - this got me through lab residency. 1.2093 0.04712 86 69 16 1
2912 Here, this prescription should rejuvenate your anemic nose whiskers. 1.2093 0.04994 86 70 14 2
2913 It’s recommended by 9 out of 10 rats... 1.2093 0.04994 86 70 14 2
2914 I can assure you that, after extensive personal experimentation, this drug has no perceptible side effects, apart from a maniacal obsession for cheese. 1.2093 0.05515 86 72 10 4
2915 Here is your prescription. Your hatred of rats is destructive. 1.2093 0.04712 86 69 16 1
2916 Take this once a day for your musophobia! 1.2093 0.04994 86 70 14 2
2917 I won't tell anyone if you won't. 1.2093 0.05261 86 71 12 3
2918 Rats! I never expected that. 1.2093 0.05515 86 72 10 4
2919 Trust me. I've seen worse. 1.2093 0.05261 86 71 12 3
2920 Next appointment, let's see how you do on the maze challenge. 1.2093 0.05515 86 72 10 4
2921 Woof! Woof! 1.2093 0.05261 86 71 12 3
2922 Here's your sick note for work. What do you mean about 'ratting you out?' 1.2093 0.05758 86 73 8 5
2923 My, what awfully big eyes you have. There’s a pill for that. 1.2093 0.04994 86 70 14 2
2924 Just don’t put mouse traps up buddy 1.2093 0.05990 86 74 6 6
2925 Yes, yes, I know rats are not people, but this was a wonder drug for over 50% of my cage-mate's litter. 1.2093 0.04994 86 70 14 2
2926 Take this to the sewer drain outside. Tell them Ben sent you. 1.2093 0.05515 86 72 10 4
2927 Looks like you've got chronic bubonic. 1.2093 0.05261 86 71 12 3
2928 so I see you were refer to me by the Pied Piper of Hamelen 1.2093 0.05515 86 72 10 4
2929 I am sorry but your insurance plan is not valid in this office. 1.2093 0.05758 86 73 8 5
2930 Yes, my parents are big Disney fans, just ask my sister Minnie. 1.2093 0.04994 86 70 14 2
2931 Welcome to Fox and Kushner Inc. Here's your employee access card to the hen house. Don't lose it! There's a $50 re-keying charge. 1.2093 0.04994 86 70 14 2
2932 A Dr. Rat is just as impressive as an M.D. 1.2093 0.05515 86 72 10 4
2933 Give this a try. It cured all my relatives. 1.2093 0.04994 86 70 14 2
2934 Eat some cheese and call me in the morning. 1.2093 0.05261 86 71 12 3
2935 I only prescribe opiates that I’ve personally tested. 1.2093 0.05990 86 74 6 6
2936 No, this weed doesn't have any bad side effects. Why do you ask? 1.2093 0.04994 86 70 14 2
2937 Take one every morning and night. And until they work, might I suggest a nice brie. 1.2093 0.04412 86 68 18 0
2938 Trust me, Mr. Johnson. My referrals are in your plan. 1.2093 0.04994 86 70 14 2
2939 It slides down easiest with some raw elk. 1.2093 0.05515 86 72 10 4
2940 Yes—insurance pays for it—what's the harm? 1.2093 0.04994 86 70 14 2
2941 Here take this as directed with two pounds of cheese a day and you'll be like new in no time. 1.2093 0.05261 86 71 12 3
2942 Some of my colleagues have found this helpful. 1.2093 0.04412 86 68 18 0
2943 Side effects may include the urge to burrow, cravings for cheese and garbage. 1.2093 0.04712 86 69 16 1
2944 Take two and don't call me because I won't answer your calls. 1.2093 0.05261 86 71 12 3
2945 Trust me, I'm a real doctor. 1.2093 0.05261 86 71 12 3
2946 Just don't rat me out, ok? 1.2093 0.04994 86 70 14 2
2947 Take this fortune to the Chinese restaurant and fill it. 1.2093 0.05261 86 71 12 3
2948 Trust me. I take them. 1.2093 0.04712 86 69 16 1
2949 I know this drug is effective, my cousins were involved in the original clinical lab tests. 1.2093 0.04712 86 69 16 1
2950 Don't worry. I've been taking them for over a year. 1.2093 0.04994 86 70 14 2
2951 Try this. It worked on us in clinical trials. 1.2093 0.05515 86 72 10 4
2952 It's only a temporary side effect. In a week you'll look like me again. 1.2093 0.05261 86 71 12 3
2953 Eat three bags of garbage and call me in the morning. 1.2093 0.05515 86 72 10 4
2954 Oh, and this should help with the hallucinations 1.2093 0.04712 86 69 16 1
2955 I have the equivalent of 77 years experience sitting, fetching, heeling, and diagnostic osteopathy. 1.2093 0.04994 86 70 14 2
2956 Get this prescription filled and no cheese, it's a trap to be avoided. 1.2093 0.04994 86 70 14 2
2957 Before I give you your diagnosis, tell me...is this your card? 1.2093 0.04712 86 69 16 1
2958 They’re not addictive, trust me. 1.2093 0.04994 86 70 14 2
2959 My buddy didn't make it out of the maze on this stuff, but I did, and now look at me! I'm a doctor! Seriously try it out. 1.2093 0.05261 86 71 12 3
2960 This is cheaper if you order it from Canada but don't worry about any side effects, I take it myself. 1.2093 0.04712 86 69 16 1
2961 I went to med school in San Francisco but I grew up in Baltimore. 1.2093 0.04994 86 70 14 2
2962 'No need to worry about side effects Mr Wilson. I've been taking them for years. Theres nothing wrong with me now, is there?' 1.2093 0.04994 86 70 14 2
2963 Here’s a prescription for something that worked for me. 1.2093 0.04412 86 68 18 0
2964 Take two ounces of Gorgonzola every six hours for ten days. 1.2093 0.04994 86 70 14 2
2965 I helped out a bit with the FDA testing on it. 1.2093 0.04712 86 69 16 1
2966 No, not the real doctor, but I did sleep in a Holiday Inn loft 1.2093 0.04712 86 69 16 1
2967 The side effects aren't bad - trust me, I've taken lots of it 1.2093 0.04712 86 69 16 1
2968 I know getting a diagnosis can feel like going through an endless maze at times, but if we keep working at it, I'm sure we'll find the cheese. 1.2093 0.04994 86 70 14 2
2969 Take two sheep and howl for me in the morning. 1.2093 0.05515 86 72 10 4
2970 This is for the delusional mirages, but you still need to see an optician... 1.2093 0.04712 86 69 16 1
2971 There are claimed to be more than 70 documented cases of transplant patients taking on aspects of their donors. Some are more cheery than others. 1.2093 0.04994 86 70 14 2
2972 You shouldn't do this, I won't give you what you want. 1.2093 0.05261 86 71 12 3
2973 Two of these a day should cure your hallucinations. 1.2093 0.04994 86 70 14 2
2974 Here, my card says Bob Smith...not lab rat. 1.2093 0.04994 86 70 14 2
2975 2x a day on the hamster wheel and you’ll be better in no time. 1.2093 0.04994 86 70 14 2
2976 And it also gets you into level three where they've installed a few exercise wheels. 1.2093 0.05515 86 72 10 4
2977 Here are the tablets for your delirium. Nicholas Wilcken, Sydney. 1.2093 0.05261 86 71 12 3
2978 I would gopher the procedure. 1.2093 0.05515 86 72 10 4
2979 I’m not taking them. You’re the experimental animal! 1.2093 0.04712 86 69 16 1
2980 To be honest with you, Norman, most folks don't seem to mind filling their prescription to acquire the medicine that turns them into disgusting rat monsters. Infact, most of the people in this building are damp, hideous, rat-humanoids at this point. 1.2093 0.04712 86 69 16 1
2981 you should take these to control those outrageous hallucinations...I'm actually a hippopotamus. 1.2093 0.05758 86 73 8 5
2982 And here's your prescription--3 to 5 pieces of garbage per day for the next week. You should be back to normal in a few days. 1.2093 0.05758 86 73 8 5
2983 Well, I was expecting a normal-sized mouse too, but IT hasn't gotten back to me yet. 1.2093 0.04712 86 69 16 1
2984 What did you expect when you made an appointment with Dr. Rat? 1.2093 0.04712 86 69 16 1
2985 This prescription has been thoroughly tested on rats, and is now being used off-label quite extensively on many varieties of humans... 1.2093 0.05515 86 72 10 4
2986 This should help you focus, but there’s a few side effects. 1.2093 0.04712 86 69 16 1
2987 Take one pill twice a day and have someone rub your throat. It will go down easier. 1.2093 0.04994 86 70 14 2
2988 Take 2 Asiagos and call me in the morning. 1.2093 0.05515 86 72 10 4
2989 Really.... thousands of us have tried this without apparent any side effects . Um, so far 1.2093 0.04712 86 69 16 1
2990 If you can figure out what species I am, you're hired! 1.2093 0.04994 86 70 14 2
2991 You'll notice a difference after two and a half squeaks. 1.2093 0.04994 86 70 14 2
2992 This should help with your completely irrational fear of all medical doctors, who made it. 1.2093 0.05261 86 71 12 3
2993 Take two and bark at me in the morning. 1.2093 0.05261 86 71 12 3
2994 Look into my eyes, look into my eyes...you now are in a deep sleep. Where's the cheese? 1.2093 0.04994 86 70 14 2
2995 Now when you cross the boarder to fill the scrip, make sure to tell them Dr Democ-rat sent you. 1.2093 0.05261 86 71 12 3
2996 Take this to the lab. It’s a simple maze test. You’ll be out in no time. 1.2093 0.04994 86 70 14 2
2997 I've used it myself with no side effects. Nothing to be concerned about. 1.2093 0.04994 86 70 14 2
2998 Here, take an ounce of provolone twice a day for a week, stay away from those pellets and call me in a week. 1.2093 0.04712 86 69 16 1
2999 Look, I have no idea what I'm doing. Dr. Stevens no longer takes insurance. I'm just his stand-in. Here's a prescription of bourbon for your troubles. 1.2093 0.05261 86 71 12 3
3000 Ill give you a second opinion: Grrrr! 1.2093 0.04712 86 69 16 1
3001 This prescription is entirely safe—I tested it myself. 1.2093 0.05261 86 71 12 3
3002 Here’s your receipt for the fox, I mean fax... 1.2093 0.04994 86 70 14 2
3003 This is a prescription for swiss cheese, it always works for me. 1.2093 0.04712 86 69 16 1
3004 Off-brand is fine. Just don't rat me out to Pfizer. 1.2093 0.05758 86 73 8 5
3005 For someone of your species the side effects include insomnia, constipation, and general irritability which is why I'm also referring you to a couples therapist. 1.2093 0.05261 86 71 12 3
3006 You don’t mind that it was only tested on rodents, do you? 1.2093 0.04994 86 70 14 2
3007 This'll get you into the henhouse. 1.2093 0.05261 86 71 12 3
3008 this should take care of that reward pathway... 1.2093 0.04994 86 70 14 2
3009 Don't get this filled at any old hole in the wall. 1.2093 0.04994 86 70 14 2
3010 First, quick trying to race against my kind, that you’ll always lose. 1.2093 0.04712 86 69 16 1
3011 This will help you overcome your fear of rodents. 1.2093 0.04712 86 69 16 1
3012 If the ants in your pants reappear, follow up with this shampoo... 1.2093 0.05261 86 71 12 3
3013 Take this medicine and you will start looking like me." 1.2093 0.05758 86 73 8 5
3014 Now this prescription is for an anticoagulant that will prevent more blood clots. However, never take more than I have prescribed. I have seen too many of my friends and family die from overdosing on this drug! 1.2093 0.04994 86 70 14 2
3015 I take the same medication and my sense of smell returned immediately. 1.2093 0.04994 86 70 14 2
3016 Here's your security badge. Just remember, if you see the giant block of cheese, LEAVE IT ALONE. 1.2093 0.05261 86 71 12 3
3017 Trust me, I was experimented on it myself 1.2093 0.05515 86 72 10 4
3018 Take two before gnawing. 1.2093 0.05261 86 71 12 3
3019 These opioids are recommended by Little Red Riding Hood. 1.2093 0.04712 86 69 16 1
3020 And Above all, NO dairy! That's a trap. 1.2093 0.04712 86 69 16 1
3021 You're a Libra, aren't you? 1.2093 0.05515 86 72 10 4
3022 I want you to follow this strict diet of Gouda cheese for breakfast, mozzarella for lunch, and Monterey Jack for dinner. 1.2093 0.05261 86 71 12 3
3023 I generally don't like to prescribe this out of specie. 1.2093 0.05261 86 71 12 3
3024 I can personally vouch for the efficacy of this drug. 1.2093 0.04994 86 70 14 2
3025 You'll need to find and follow me soon enough! 1.2093 0.04412 86 68 18 0
3026 And our co-pay is much lower than your average PPO. 1.2093 0.04712 86 69 16 1
3027 I know it'll work, I've tested it myself! 1.2093 0.05515 86 72 10 4
3028 I was part of the trial and I'm almost back to normal. 1.2093 0.04712 86 69 16 1
3029 Aren't everyone's business cards made of cheese? 1.2093 0.05261 86 71 12 3
3030 Rest assured this prescription is safe - it was tested on me. 1.2093 0.04994 86 70 14 2
3031 Trust me, Dr. Skinner will cure that smoking habit in no time. 1.2093 0.05515 86 72 10 4
3032 Take two tablets before bedtime and try hard to forget this meeting. 1.2093 0.05515 86 72 10 4
3033 Take 4000 of these pills between now and noon tomorrow, then call and let me know how you're feeling. 1.2073 0.04827 82 66 15 1
3034 Let me assure you I’m a fully qualified doctor as well as your best friend. 1.2073 0.04827 82 66 15 1
3035 50mg of cyanide should do the trick. 1.2073 0.05945 82 70 7 5
3036 Side effects include dry mouth, blurred vision, and leaving droppings in the pantry. 1.2073 0.04827 82 66 15 1
3037 Beats me> 1.2073 0.04827 82 66 15 1
3038 Sir,my middle school Spelling Bee award on the wall doesn't cover your pre-existing condition either. 1.2073 0.04827 82 66 15 1
3039 Cheese! You’re not eating enough cheese.” 1.2073 0.04827 82 66 15 1
3040 It’s the future of MediCare. 1.2073 0.04827 82 66 15 1
3041 I know what you did to my relatives... But "let bygones be bygones." Here is your prescription. 1.2073 0.05129 82 67 13 2
3042 That'll be $6,000, or a slice of cheese. 1.2073 0.05129 82 67 13 2
3043 Take this and you'll grow wings on your feet. 1.2073 0.04827 82 66 15 1
3044 Exchange these skeeball tickets for opioids. 1.2073 0.05129 82 67 13 2
3045 So who you gonna believe, me or those silly black box warnings? Drew Bridges, Wake Forest, NC 1.2073 0.05129 82 67 13 2
3046 Take two of these per day -- and avoid cats and Irish bars! 1.2073 0.04827 82 66 15 1
3047 A-wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo! 1.2073 0.05415 82 68 11 3
3048 This is a tough one to explain 1.2073 0.05129 82 67 13 2
3049 Try these they always make me feel foxy 1.2073 0.05415 82 68 11 3
3050 You'll be a-mazed by what this stuff will do for your hallucinations. 1.2073 0.05129 82 67 13 2
3051 In 1965 we were against Medicare, would you believe. 1.2069 0.04942 87 71 14 2
3052 My specialty is male pattern balding. 1.2069 0.05206 87 72 12 3
3053 What do you see? 1.2048 0.04775 83 67 15 1
3054 Pick a card. Any card. 1.2048 0.04457 83 66 17 0
3055 Take two of these and howl...I mean call me in the morning 1.2048 0.05073 83 68 13 2
3056 This prescription should solve your anxiety problem about not being able to catch the rat in your basement. 1.2048 0.05355 83 69 11 3
3057 Try these tables, they changed my life. 1.2048 0.05073 83 68 13 2
3058 It's funny, but you didn't seem to have the symptoms of Bubonic plague until AFTER I examined you! 1.2048 0.04457 83 66 17 0
3059 And be sure to get a flu shot, it’s spreading like the plague this year. 1.2048 0.05355 83 69 11 3
3060 I may be a Dirty Rat but I still expect to get paid promptly! 1.2048 0.05623 83 70 9 4
3061 Start with 3 little pigs. 1.2048 0.05355 83 69 11 3
3062 We take security here very seriously. 1.2048 0.04775 83 67 15 1
3063 Are you staring at my nose hair? 1.2048 0.05355 83 69 11 3
3064 Relax. It was tested on me. 1.2048 0.04775 83 67 15 1
3065 Don’t worry, we just need to run a few tests. 1.2048 0.05073 83 68 13 2
3066 Avoid dairy products when taking these, especially cheese. 1.2048 0.05623 83 70 9 4
3067 ...and the side effects were honestly like the best part. 1.2048 0.05073 83 68 13 2
3068 Don't believe what you hear. Rats are NOT everywhere in Baltimore! 1.2048 0.04457 83 66 17 0
3069 Don’t worry, I’m just here for a cartoon contest. 1.2048 0.04775 83 67 15 1
3070 Side effects include seeing colors. Don't let that freak you out. 1.2048 0.05073 83 68 13 2
3071 No, really - take it. 1.2048 0.05623 83 70 9 4
3072 It's called OxyCamembert. It won't hurt you. 1.2048 0.05073 83 68 13 2
3073 If you cop me some Muenster, I'll prescribe whatever you need! 1.2048 0.05355 83 69 11 3
3074 I’m giving you a repeat prescription for Rogaine. 1.2048 0.04775 83 67 15 1
3075 My uncle found this very effective in clinical trials. 1.2048 0.05073 83 68 13 2
3076 Here's some Tic Tacs for your dog's bad breath. And dont take this the wrong way, but you may wanna pop 2 in your mouth before you go. 1.2048 0.05355 83 69 11 3
3077 I can personally vouch its effectiveness 1.2048 0.04457 83 66 17 0
3078 Take 3 pieces of Cheese at bedtime, and one in the morning. 1.2048 0.05073 83 68 13 2
3079 This formulation just got approved yesterday from rigorous human lab rat testing. 1.2048 0.04775 83 67 15 1
3080 Credit or debit? 1.2048 0.04775 83 67 15 1
3081 Too much paperwork, not enough walks. 1.2048 0.05073 83 68 13 2
3082 I should warn you, the proprietary form can also cause hallucinations. 1.2048 0.04457 83 66 17 0
3083 Hey, don't worry. They got me out of the maze and into med school. 1.2048 0.05073 83 68 13 2
3084 Your insurance switched your prescription apparently. How did that go? 1.2048 0.05073 83 68 13 2
3085 OPIOIDS, For vision health? 1.2048 0.05073 83 68 13 2
3086 Use it with your computer" 1.2048 0.04775 83 67 15 1
3087 Here's a blood thinner for you. Warfarin used to be rat poison. 1.2048 0.05623 83 70 9 4
3088 Its DOCTOR Ratburn, just take the script and for the last time, there are no side effects. 1.2025 0.05804 79 67 8 4
3089 This medication will not stop your hallucinating rodents, but it will reduce your fear of becoming one. 1.2025 0.05215 79 65 12 2
3090 These should clear your erectile dysfunction right up. One possible side effect, though, is hallucinations. 1.2025 0.05518 79 66 10 3
3091 It tests very well; I've been taking it myself for months. 1.2025 0.05215 79 65 12 2
3092 HERE'S YOUR VIAGRA. DON'T THINK OF ME WHEN YOU TAKE IT! 1.2025 0.05215 79 65 12 2
3093 Swiss cheese including the holes. Works wonders. 1.2025 0.05215 79 65 12 2
3094 Yes, President Trump literally meant rodents. 1.2024 0.05297 84 70 11 3
3095 When did your medication run out? 1.2024 0.05297 84 70 11 3
3096 If we don’t hear from you within 2 weeks I will huff and puff and bill you double.” 1.2024 0.05019 84 69 13 2
3097 Try this, it should be more addicting. 1.2024 0.04410 84 67 17 0
3098 I'm just a wolf in MD's clothing. 1.2024 0.05019 84 69 13 2
3099 I am a Were-Rat please take this note to my wife which contains my last will and testament. Please leave now before my transformation is compl-AAAAAAAAAAAARRRRGGG 1.2024 0.05297 84 70 11 3
3100 Personally I use the CBD oil in moderation! 1.2024 0.05019 84 69 13 2
3101 Don't be afraid, I tested it myself. 1.2024 0.04724 84 68 15 1
3102 They're experimental, but they've definitely helped me. 1.2024 0.05297 84 70 11 3
3103 Of course, no humans were harmed in the testing of this product. 1.2024 0.05019 84 69 13 2
3104 And why do you think your hallucinations aren’t real? 1.2024 0.05019 84 69 13 2
3105 Look! Does that say RAT to you? 1.1975 0.04785 81 64 14 1
3106 Marijuana is still illegal, so I'm giving you a ton of opioids. 1.1975 0.04785 81 66 14 1
3107 Take this and you'll never see a rat again 1.1975 0.05098 81 67 12 2
3108 My advice? Eat more garbage. If that doesn't do the trick I suggest a strict diet of cheese. 1.1975 0.05098 81 67 12 2
3109 Your bug eye is making me hungry. 1.1975 0.05098 81 67 12 2
3110 Don't trust the psychologist. It's a trap. 1.1975 0.04785 81 66 14 1
3111 I'm referring you to this lab. You'll be in good hands. 1.1975 0.04785 81 66 14 1
3112 Get this filled at the nearest dumpster. 1.1975 0.05098 81 67 12 2
3113 Listen to your inner voice, listen to your inner voice... 1.1975 0.05098 81 67 12 2
3114 Yes, as your doctor I can vouch this prescription is safe. It's been thoroughly tested on lab humans in multiple double-blind clinical trials. 1.1975 0.04785 81 66 14 1
3115 Here's an Oxycontin scrip. I'll never tell anyone. 1.1975 0.05392 81 68 10 3
3116 This will help with your betrayal issues 1.1975 0.05392 81 68 10 3
3117 Gene therapy created me but I don't think they've conquered musophobia yet. Take two of these and don't call me again 1.1975 0.05671 81 69 8 4
3118 Thank you, come again. 1.1975 0.04785 81 66 14 1
3119 What? It's not poison. 1.1975 0.04785 81 66 14 1
3120 I was the test subject and nothing happened to me! 1.1975 0.04785 81 66 14 1
3121 This cheese is my favorite 1.1975 0.04785 81 66 14 1
3122 It's only been tested on humans, but I'd even take it myself. 1.1975 0.05098 81 67 12 2
3123 If yu don't get serious about your diet and exercise, I will huff and I'll puff and I'll blow your house down. 1.1975 0.04785 81 66 14 1
3124 Next time try to avoid sour grapes. 1.1975 0.04785 81 66 14 1
3125 If it worked on me it can work on you. 1.1951 0.05041 82 68 12 2
3126 Are you my half-brother by any chance? 1.1951 0.04403 82 66 16 0
3127 Tell anyone I have O.P.D.! I have other ways of blowing your house down Johnny, Boy. 1.1951 0.05041 82 68 12 2
3128 Scavange two of these and call me in the morning. 1.1951 0.04733 82 67 14 1
3129 Big Pharma got to me! 1.1951 0.04733 82 67 14 1
3130 Tell the pharmacist Morty The Rat sent you. 1.1951 0.05041 82 68 12 2
3131 It worked for me. 1.1951 0.05041 82 68 12 2
3132 I did experiment on myself - why do you ask? 1.1951 0.04733 82 67 14 1
3133 Trust me: It's been tested. 1.1951 0.05041 82 68 12 2
3134 First time working in a lab then? 1.1951 0.04403 82 66 16 0
3135 Take this with a little cheese and call me if you feel the urge to swim through the sewer line. 1.1951 0.05041 82 68 12 2
3136 Fear of doctor-rodents is a common phobia - this should help. 1.1951 0.04733 82 67 14 1
3137 Take this twice a day for a week, or until the urge to eat garbage subsides. 1.1951 0.04733 82 67 14 1
3138 I'm sorry you did not read the low option carefully. 1.1951 0.04403 82 66 16 0
3139 Here’s hoping after you take this you will want to get off that proverbial hamster wheel. 1.1951 0.04733 82 67 14 1
3140 Let’s not make a mountain out of a mole hill. Take two and call me in the morning 1.1951 0.04403 82 66 16 0
3141 This will help you forget I ate your mother and daughter 1.1951 0.05331 82 69 10 3
3142 I don't give a rats ass what you think, your fired. 1.1951 0.05041 82 68 12 2
3143 Now I'm not going to hound you over this, but you need to be foxy. 1.1951 0.05331 82 69 10 3
3144 Do what the Fox says. 1.1951 0.05041 82 68 12 2
3145 My ancestors had that same suspicious look about cheese. 1.1951 0.05041 82 68 12 2
3146 You have head lice. At least it’s better than head mice. 1.1951 0.05041 82 68 12 2
3147 Yes, I am now DOCTOR Ratburn. I quit my acting career on the Arthur show. 1.1951 0.05041 82 68 12 2
3148 This pain killer is not addictive" 1.1951 0.04403 82 66 16 0
3149 Don't worry, we bulk bill. 1.1951 0.05607 82 70 8 4
3150 Far easier than being a human. 1.1951 0.04733 82 67 14 1
3151 Oh, don't be alarmed. I don't bite! 1.1951 0.05331 82 69 10 3
3152 You can pay the bill in cheese 1.1951 0.05041 82 68 12 2
3153 I don't guve as fat rat's ass how you got injured. Just fill this prescription and call me in a week for follow up. 1.1951 0.05331 82 69 10 3
3154 I like cheese. 1.1951 0.05607 82 70 8 4
3155 I have a feeling you could win the lottery if you'd only play. 1.1951 0.04733 82 67 14 1
3156 stop eating cheese and that protrusion will return to normal. 1.1951 0.04733 82 67 14 1
3157 If this doesn't stop the hallucinations I'll have you see a mongoose next week. 1.1951 0.04403 82 66 16 0
3158 Sleep later, and let your hens roam freely. 1.1951 0.04403 82 66 16 0
3159 I suggest you get an appointment with the Lab Rat. He'll get you a cure. 1.1951 0.05041 82 68 12 2
3160 As to side effects? My colleagues and I have thoroughly tested this. 1.1951 0.04403 82 66 16 0
3161 Take two of cheese and call me in the morning. 1.1951 0.05331 82 69 10 3
3162 Imagine what this lab test could do for you. 1.1951 0.05041 82 68 12 2
3163 Trust me, I used to be in R&D. 1.1951 0.04733 82 67 14 1
3164 Control-group patients meet Dr House. 1.1951 0.05041 82 68 12 2
3165 I know these work, I was one of the first test subjects. 1.1951 0.05041 82 68 12 2
3166 Here's a prescription that should help with the hallucinations, and by the way thanks for the basket of goodies. 1.1951 0.05041 82 68 12 2
3167 I can almost guarantee that this prescription will work. In tests, it worked on all kinds of rats. 1.1951 0.05041 82 68 12 2
3168 You'll get used to the side effects. Just avoid henhouses. 1.1951 0.04733 82 67 14 1
3169 I thought my wife said I was going to the Rodin and then the doctor. 1.1951 0.05041 82 68 12 2
3170 Take this twice daily with cheese, and let's avoid maze running for a few days. 1.1951 0.05331 82 69 10 3
3171 Side effects? Yes, you may experience a sudden urge to naw as well as an occasional cheese craving. 1.1951 0.05041 82 68 12 2
3172 I've got just the thing. Revert back to your infant years, and see the world wide-eyed and compassionately. But... how? 1.1951 0.05041 82 68 12 2
3173 Take two and find my den in the morning. 1.1951 0.05041 82 68 12 2
3174 The Hickory Dickory Dock Pharmaceutical Company has a new drug that should help with your hallucinations 1.1951 0.05041 82 68 12 2
3175 I'm sorry Mr. Jones, but your pet insurance won't cover your CAT scan! 1.1951 0.05041 82 68 12 2
3176 Just take eight to twelve of these a day and be sure to stock your fridge with cheese 1.1951 0.05041 82 68 12 2
3177 Take two of these every fours with cheese. 1.1951 0.05607 82 70 8 4
3178 Here is your invoice...sorry, I got nibbley. 1.1951 0.05607 82 70 8 4
3179 Take two a day with cheese 1.1951 0.04733 82 67 14 1
3180 What? You think mice can't be doctors? I'm referring you to a psychologist. Here, he is a good mouse friend of mine. 1.1951 0.05041 82 68 12 2
3181 Did you just call me a rat? Do you think I'm the only psychiatrist that doesn't take insurance? 1.1951 0.05331 82 69 10 3
3182 No more than two nibbles every four hours. 1.1951 0.04403 82 66 16 0
3183 The first thing to do is kill all the cats. 1.1951 0.05041 82 68 12 2
3184 The only side effect observed in human testing was a desire to eat garbage...so you'll fit right in. 1.1951 0.04733 82 67 14 1
3185 Don’t be so suspicious. You’re puckered on both ends.” Don Dechman —- Austin, T 1.1951 0.05041 82 68 12 2
3186 Listen, I'm not gonna rat you out if you don't take it, but it's for your own good. 1.1951 0.05331 82 69 10 3
3187 The hallucinogenic side effects are no additional charge. 1.1951 0.05041 82 69 9 3
3188 Try this. I rat-tested it myself. 1.1951 0.04733 82 67 14 1
3189 Here. Take two Goudas and call me in the morning! 1.1951 0.04403 82 66 16 0
3190 Your next appointment is in the woods. Be sure to bring raw meat. 1.1951 0.05331 82 69 10 3
3191 I'm referring you for a second opinion 1.1951 0.05331 82 69 10 3
3192 It's a prescription for Warfarin. I've heard it's effective, though I can't personally recommend it 1.1951 0.04733 82 67 14 1
3193 Dammit, Jerry. You know the rules: if you're not up to date on your shots, I simply can't issue a license OR release you. 1.1951 0.05041 82 68 12 2
3194 Here's your Flea - b- gone. I can't do anything for the hallucinations; you'll have to wait until next week to see a therapist. 1.1951 0.05607 82 70 8 4
3195 Payment accepted in camembert. 1.1951 0.04733 82 67 14 1
3196 This should take care of your Zoophobia”. 1.1951 0.05041 82 68 12 2
3197 Trust me, the side effects are extremely rare, I participated in the clinical trials myself. 1.1951 0.04403 82 66 16 0
3198 Of course it's safe. It was tested on me and all of my thousands of relatives. 1.1951 0.05041 82 68 12 2
3199 I am sorry to be the one to tell you this, but you have the clap. 1.1951 0.04733 82 67 14 1
3200 I’m prescribing a dose of warfarin to be taken twice a day and to see how you like it! 1.1951 0.05041 82 68 12 2
3201 Don’t worry, this is been tested on several of my relatives. Only three of them died. 1.1951 0.04733 82 66 14 1
3202 Winner winner, chicken dinner! 1.1951 0.04733 82 67 14 1
3203 Just because you have the Plague doesn't mean I'm the best doctor for the job. 1.1951 0.04733 82 67 14 1
3204 I had to leave the administration, I like being the head rat. 1.1951 0.05331 82 69 10 3
3205 You have hypertension, here is a prescription for warfarin. 1.1951 0.05041 82 68 12 2
3206 Our studies show that howling at the moon will soon make viagra a thing of the past. 1.1951 0.05331 82 69 10 3
3207 It's called the Pizza Diet and look what it has done for the President. 1.1951 0.05331 82 69 10 3
3208 Are you here to see the Vet? 1.1951 0.05041 82 67 12 2
3209 This is a prescription for rat poison, should the tests show you have a terminal disease. 1.1951 0.04733 82 67 14 1
3210 This should help those giant rat nightmares. 1.1951 0.05331 82 69 10 3
3211 If you see anymore 'sheep,' call me immediately. 1.1951 0.04733 82 67 14 1
3212 This blood thinner killed my whole family, but you give it a try. 1.1951 0.05331 82 69 10 3
3213 Take my card. It’s a rat race, and I can help you win. 1.1951 0.05331 82 69 10 3
3214 The only side effects are an allergic reaction to cats and a greater appreciation for cheese. 1.1951 0.05331 82 69 10 3
3215 Be happy you are not a chicken. 1.1951 0.04733 82 67 14 1
3216 Don't be alarmed, we doctors from Hideous Rat Land are better educated and trained than most human doctors. Now here's your prescription for bulging eye syndrome. 1.1951 0.05331 82 69 10 3
3217 I don't see anything wrong with you? 1.1951 0.05041 82 68 12 2
3218 Blood thinners are rat poison 1.1951 0.05041 82 68 12 2
3219 I took it when it was experimental, so you should be fine. 1.1951 0.04403 82 66 16 0
3220 Take two aspirin and refrain from hanging your dry cleaning on your eyeballs. Bobby Gregory Plainfield, NJ 1.1951 0.05041 82 68 12 2
3221 You're stunningly staring at me like you just saw a rat! 1.1951 0.05607 82 70 8 4
3222 If this antidepressant doesn’t work, you could try howling at the moon. 1.1951 0.04733 82 67 14 1
3223 Have you been to Baltimore before? 1.1951 0.05331 82 69 10 3
3224 Gastroenterologist, I'd help you myself, but it really is outside my area of expertise. 1.1951 0.05607 82 70 8 4
3225 Take two pills daily, then call your exterminator about the rats. 1.1951 0.05607 82 70 8 4
3226 Here's a prescription for a new drug that some say does wonders. 1.1951 0.05041 82 68 12 2
3227 Shave my what? I'd never tell you that, mustache. 1.1951 0.05041 82 68 12 2
3228 This new medication is reported to have a few fairly mild side affects; I've been on it myself for about a month now and haven't personally noticed any problems with it at all. 1.1951 0.04733 82 67 14 1
3229 Here’s a script for Sheep’s Clothing. 1.1951 0.04733 82 67 14 1
3230 The Opioid Epidemic: Dr. Ratner pushes pain pills. 1.1951 0.05041 82 68 12 2
3231 I’ve tried it. You’ll see a change after about a week. 1.1951 0.04733 82 67 14 1
3232 Take two aspirin and run a maze in the morning. 1.1951 0.05041 82 68 12 2
3233 Eat two pieces of cheese and call me in the morning" 1.1951 0.05041 82 68 12 2
3234 I was assigned by your insurer, but all I'm doing a anyway is renewing your Rx. 1.1951 0.04733 82 67 14 1
3235 Are you sure you want to partake in this drug trial? It's only been tested on humans in the lab. 1.1951 0.04733 82 67 14 1
3236 All that nonsense about opioids was just fake news 1.1951 0.05041 82 68 12 2
3237 Studies show that 90 percent of white people feel better about tattling with this prescription. 1.1951 0.05041 82 68 12 2
3238 They gave it to me in the clinical trial and look where I am now. 1.1951 0.04403 82 66 16 0
3239 This is the best antidote; they even used it during the plague! 1.1951 0.05331 82 69 10 3
3240 Don't be startled. Wearing this weasel head is part of my probation. 1.1951 0.04403 82 66 16 0
3241 Take this prescription for warfarin. 1.1951 0.05331 82 69 10 3
3242 Before treating your disease, you will testing from the foot to head and then starting treatment. 1.1951 0.05041 82 68 12 2
3243 Take these, Mr. Hood, they’ll help you forget about your mother. 1.1951 0.05331 82 69 10 3
3244 Tell your friends about our free lab tests. 1.1951 0.05331 82 69 10 3
3245 This medication has no side effects. Trust me I’m a doctor. 1.1951 0.05331 82 69 10 3
3246 I'd like to refer you to Dr. that specializes in rat-bastards. I specialize in possum-bastards. 1.1951 0.05331 82 69 10 3
3247 Here’s a prescription for the rabies vaccine. I recommend you get it immediately. 1.1951 0.04733 82 67 14 1
3248 Please don't be taken aback: I prescribe getting out of the medical-industrial rat race. 1.1951 0.05041 82 68 12 2
3249 And don’t dine in dumpsters. 1.1951 0.05331 82 69 10 3
3250 Here is your script to try out being a cryptid. I was eating cheese when I took mine, so maybe stay away from pork. 1.1951 0.05041 82 68 12 2
3251 This should alleviate your Baltimore fixation-itus. 1.1951 0.05607 82 70 8 4
3252 We don!t accept this card. Let's see the one that's been surgically implanted in your skull. 1.1951 0.04733 82 67 14 1
3253 I'm prescribing any food you can find anywhere anytime. 1.1951 0.05607 82 70 8 4
3254 This should help with your infestation. 1.1951 0.05041 82 68 12 2
3255 I'm not saying it's a trap, but I'd recommend taking this with a small wedge of cheese 1.1951 0.05041 82 68 12 2
3256 We got the lab tests back. I’m prescribing fortified seeds to be taken twice a day. 1.1951 0.05041 82 68 12 2
3257 Are you sure you have the right lair? 1.1951 0.05041 82 68 12 2
3258 Here's your prescription. It's none of your business but my ex-wife had a really good divorce lawyer. 1.1951 0.05041 82 68 12 2
3259 What? It's casual Dr. Jackal day" 1.1951 0.04733 82 67 14 1
3260 I don't give a rat's you-know-what that you don't like my diagnosis! 1.1951 0.05041 82 68 12 2
3261 This prescription has been thoroughly tested...on me, as a matter of fact. 1.1951 0.05041 82 68 12 2
3262 Take this twice a day with water-it’s a new prescription based on AI - Animal Intelligence 1.1951 0.04733 82 67 14 1
3263 Here’s a packet of atray oisonpay. You can take it full strength. 1.1951 0.05041 82 68 12 2
3264 Take these at night and you'll snap right out of it! 1.1951 0.04733 82 67 14 1
3265 Yes, I did grow up in Baltimore. 1.1951 0.05331 82 69 10 3
3266 Johns Hopkins obviously. 1.1951 0.04403 82 66 16 0
3267 Here's my card and feel free to get a second opinion but I'm the only one in the world who can fix your problem. 1.1951 0.05041 82 68 12 2
3268 Of Course you do not need a prescription for an exercise wheel but with one insurance may cover it. 1.1951 0.05041 82 68 12 2
3269 ...and stay out of the wheel for a few weeks. 1.1951 0.05041 82 68 12 2
3270 I assure you, the results in the mice studies have been very satisfying. 1.1951 0.04733 82 67 14 1
3271 Let me recommend a specialist. He’s a chimp who has had the procedure himself. 1.1951 0.04403 82 66 16 0
3272 Call this doctor instead. I only treat dog persons. 1.1951 0.05041 82 68 12 2
3273 In addition to a squeaky clean reputation, I validate parking. 1.1951 0.04403 82 66 16 0
3274 Take these with your water dish and give me two barks in the morning 1.1951 0.05041 82 68 12 2
3275 I am gay. 1.1951 0.05041 82 68 12 2
3276 It’s just a side effect. But if you start seeing sheep, let me know. 1.1951 0.05041 82 68 12 2
3277 Take this medication and you’ll feel like a new mouse; I mean new man. 1.1951 0.05607 82 70 8 4
3278 Hallucinations and paranoia are rare side effects of your medication, but there's always that unlucky patient. I've adjusted the dose, here's a new Rx, and no, I'm not trying to poison you. 1.1951 0.05041 82 68 12 2
3279 Deposit $10,000 cash in this Swiss account and I will schedule you to go under the knife. 1.1951 0.05041 82 68 12 2
3280 And while you're there, can you pick me up a bison? 1.1951 0.05041 82 68 12 2
3281 Pizza Rat," was in my broke med student days 1.1951 0.04733 82 67 14 1
3282 I think these will help you. While in medical school, I helped test them. 1.1951 0.05331 82 69 10 3
3283 Don’t worry it’s safe. It’s been tested on rodents. 1.1951 0.05331 82 69 10 3
3284 Take twice daily with cheese. 1.1951 0.04403 82 66 16 0
3285 Promise you won't me me out, ok? 1.1951 0.04733 82 67 14 1
3286 This is what my doct or gives me. 1.1951 0.04403 82 66 16 0
3287 Just follow these rules, it’s how it got done in Baltimore 1.1951 0.04733 82 67 14 1
3288 If you don’t stay on the cheese you’ll never get better 1.1951 0.04403 82 68 13 1
3289 Mr. Skinner, this medication will have you positively thinking outside the box. 1.1951 0.05041 82 68 12 2
3290 I recommend this poison. It was very effective against my father. 1.1951 0.05041 82 68 12 2
3291 You can try this but I was in the placebo group and look what happened. 1.1951 0.05041 82 68 12 2
3292 Be honest with me, this place is crawling with rats. 1.1951 0.05331 82 69 10 3
3293 Take it from me, once you get out of the rat race you can get a new life." 1.1951 0.05331 82 69 10 3
3294 Just 20 minutes on the wheel, and you won't have to worry about that extra piece of cheese. 1.1951 0.05041 82 68 12 2
3295 This is your doctor's note recommending you tell the Senate you cannot vote on any gun control legislation until your shoulder heals. 1.1951 0.04733 82 67 14 1
3296 This is Coumadin, and believe me it can be fatal in high doses. 1.1951 0.04733 82 67 14 1
3297 I'm referring you to Dr. Lion to get another opinion concerning your anthropomorphic delusions. 1.1951 0.05607 82 70 8 4
3298 Lice, mice, whatever it’ll get rid of it. Take two and call me tomorrow. 1.1951 0.04733 82 67 14 1
3299 Its experimental but it works. I know. I had it. 1.1951 0.04733 82 67 14 1
3300 This Prescription is renewable 3 times for string cheese . 1.1951 0.05331 82 69 10 3
3301 It's only my gut reaction, but try eating live chickens for one month. 1.1951 0.05331 82 69 10 3
3302 Damn it, I said non-stick. 1.1951 0.04733 82 67 14 1
3303 I can testify that this drug had a really positive effect onme. 1.1951 0.05331 82 69 10 3
3304 Are you sure you're not my grandma? 1.1951 0.04403 82 66 16 0
3305 In initial trials, this medication is effective. 1.1951 0.05041 82 68 12 2
3306 This will take care of your ED, just as I did. 1.1951 0.05331 82 69 10 3
3307 Here you are Mr. Willard, I prescribe this to all my patients who want to rejoin the rat race. 1.1951 0.04733 82 67 14 1
3308 Take two of these everyday, and hopefully you won't turn out like me. 1.1948 0.05558 77 65 9 3
3309 Just call me, I may be a rat but I’m not ratty. Darn, that catchphrase is horrid. 1.1923 0.04848 78 64 13 1
3310 I prescribe you with a bottle of whisker growth, and you should get a lifetime supply of tuna cans. 1.1923 0.04848 78 64 13 1
3311 Here, this should do it. It cured what ailed my ancestors. 1.1923 0.05492 78 66 9 3
3312 Eat two chickens and call me in the morning. 1.1923 0.05180 78 65 11 2
3313 Pizza Rat swears by it for indigestion. 1.1923 0.05180 78 65 11 2
3314 Seriously, arsenic has a long and well tested history as a cure for syphillis. Why do you ask? 1.1923 0.05180 78 65 11 2
3315 Just because I'm experiencing this side effect doesn't mean that you will. 1.1923 0.04848 78 64 13 1
3316 Either I've over-dilated your pupils or it must be a full moon. 1.1923 0.04848 78 64 13 1
3317 Don't worry. I've tested it personally. 1.1923 0.04848 78 64 13 1
3318 When you haven't slept in so long you start to hallucinate 1.1923 0.04848 78 64 13 1
3319 Don't worry, you're no spring chicken. 1.1923 0.04848 78 64 13 1
3320 Take this medication and see me in eight years, I am running for president 1.1923 0.05492 78 66 9 3
3321 Make sure it is Swiss Cheese. Swiss! 1.1923 0.05180 78 65 11 2
3322 Here's your poison 1.1923 0.04848 78 64 13 1
3323 Don’t give me that look—.it’s not enough arsenic to kill you. 1.1923 0.04491 78 63 15 0
3324 Don't worry, lupus is my specialty. 1.1923 0.04848 78 64 13 1
3325 I'm referring you to a specialist for further tests. Dr. Katz can see you on Tuesday the 21st. 1.1923 0.04848 78 64 13 1
3326 Wear a ten-gallon hat, relief guaranteed by my ranch in Kentucky. 1.1923 0.05180 78 65 11 2
3327 You should try this new massage service. 1.1923 0.04848 78 64 13 1
3328 Take two tablets nightly and see me on the next full moon. 1.1923 0.04848 78 64 13 1
3329 ..don't mean to cry wolf but you really need to take these... 1.1923 0.05787 78 67 7 4
3330 Take it. It's ratified. 1.1923 0.04491 78 63 15 0
3331 You need cheese, dammit, lots of cheese! Take this 'scrip to the dairy counter and don't get lost in the maze! 1.1923 0.04848 78 64 13 1
3332 Don't you love opposite day? 1.1923 0.05492 78 66 9 3
3333 Yes, of course. It's called the doctor-patient confidentiality agreement. Why does everyone keep asking me that? 1.1923 0.04848 78 64 13 1
3334 This prescription will take care of those nasty nose hairs 1.1923 0.05180 78 65 11 2
3335 Take this and leave my baby girl alone. 1.1923 0.05180 78 65 11 2
3336 Here. Take the prescription. It should stop the hallucinations. 1.1923 0.04848 78 64 13 1
3337 Yes, this is a very expensive medicine, but without you would die: Your money or your life! 1.1923 0.05180 78 65 11 2
3338 Take these pills along with a box of Kibble Works for me. 1.1923 0.04848 78 64 13 1
3339 I'm required to disclose that I get a cheddar for recommending Ameropioidcrisis. 1.1923 0.04848 78 64 13 1
3340 Take it from Dr. Weasel, this medication will keep your eyes from popping out of your head. 1.1923 0.05180 78 65 11 2
3341 Take two of these at bedtime with a cheese of your choice other than Roquefort. 1.1923 0.04491 78 63 15 0
3342 I have personally tested this drug-- it worked wonders! 1.1842 0.05201 76 64 10 2
3343 [Context: I don’t know what animal this is but I think it’s fair to call it a rat— you wouldn’t see a rat joke and think “But that is not a rat!,” and I know mice are connected to cheese, but rats are sorta mice, so they like cheese] “Cheese louise!” 1.1842 0.04852 76 63 12 1
3344 Trust me, I have extensive knowledge of infectious diseases. 1.1842 0.04476 76 62 14 0
3345 Just some quick advice from your friendly HR rep for your first day on the job: When they take the picture for your employee ID, be sure to say "cheese." 1.1842 0.04852 76 63 12 1
3346 Take two pellets and call me in the morning. 1.1842 0.04852 76 63 12 1
3347 I wouldn’t prescribe this if I didn’t test it myself. 1.1842 0.04852 76 63 12 1
3348 Now this should help that lupus condition you have. 1.1842 0.04852 76 63 12 1
3349 Now who's the vector for disease? 1.1842 0.05201 76 64 10 2
3350 Hn 1.1842 0.05528 76 65 8 3
3351 This visit is on the mouse. 1.1842 0.05528 76 65 8 3
3352 This will help with your exhaustion from running around on the wheel all day. 1.1842 0.05201 76 64 10 2
3353 Here is a sample for an experimental drug that I have been testing. 1.1842 0.05201 76 64 10 2
3354 What's your problem? I've tested it myself. 1.1842 0.04852 76 63 12 1
3355 This is a referral to my brother at Disney." "This is a referral to my brother at Disney." 1.1842 0.04852 76 63 12 1
3356 Hey, it's 10% off for no sheep's clothing. 1.1842 0.05201 76 64 10 2
3357 Don't worry. It's safe. It's already been tested on me. 1.1842 0.04852 76 63 12 1
3358 This should help with your itchy ass. 1.1842 0.05201 76 64 10 2
3359 Take this and see me in the burrow. 1.1842 0.05201 76 64 10 2
3360 It will help with life feeling like one big human race 1.1842 0.04476 76 62 14 0
3361 I hope you can understand why I’m not prescribing Warfarin for your blood pressure. 1.1842 0.04852 76 63 12 1
3362 What have you done with my doctor? And no, I won't sign-up for your network! 1.1842 0.05201 76 64 10 2
3363 Try this new medication, it did wonders for me. 1.1842 0.05201 76 64 10 2
3364 I've found these particularly helpful in reducing the tendency to chase. 1.1842 0.05201 76 64 10 2
3365 I think the cheese will help. This card will get you through the maze. 1.1842 0.04852 76 63 12 1
3366 I think you should definitely get a second opinion 1.1818 0.05139 77 65 10 2
3367 Don't worry. I tried it myself. 1.1818 0.05139 77 65 10 2
3368 Listen Herbert, your last 3 maze runs were pathetic, but for the next we expect great results since you are now on gluten-free pellets! 1.1818 0.05139 77 65 10 2
3369 yeah the test came back positive, you definitely have that disease that makes doctors look like rats, sorry dude 1.1781 0.05962 73 64 5 4
3370 You can stop looking at me like I've got rabies, there's no co-pay on the prescription. 1.1781 0.05286 73 62 9 2
3371 “It’s over-the-counter, but I found a few under it.” 1.1781 0.04913 73 61 11 1
3372 Try these pills. They'll keep your droppings smooth and shiny. 1.1781 0.04913 73 61 11 1
3373 This will help cure the big eyes you have. 1.1781 0.05286 73 62 9 2
3374 This is where the health care maze begin 1.1781 0.05286 73 62 9 2
3375 It's an experimental procedure, but don't worry -- I've been through hundreds of them. 1.1781 0.04913 73 61 11 1
3376 Trust me, this is not a bait and switch prescription. 1.1781 0.04913 73 61 11 1
3377 Take two of these and I'll call on you in the morning. 1.1781 0.04913 73 61 11 1
3378 I may be a rat but this is chickenfeed. 1.1781 0.04913 73 61 11 1
3379 Take one dumpster dive and call me in the morning. 1.1781 0.04913 73 61 11 1
3380 If you miss a day you’re looking at the consequence. 1.1781 0.04913 73 61 11 1
3381 I don’t know how it’s spreading, but this should help you avoid it like the plague. 1.1781 0.04913 73 61 11 1
3382 Take these daily for a month and I promise you’ll look as good as me. 1.1781 0.04913 73 61 11 1
3383 Trust me, it works on lab rats. 1.1781 0.04913 73 61 11 1
3384 You can get this filled anywhere in Baltimore, or in the District of Columbia. 1.1781 0.04509 73 60 13 0
3385 Take two pieces of cheddar twice a day and see me in a month! 1.1781 0.04509 73 60 13 0
3386 Remember, 'omerta' means nothing in our culture. 1.1781 0.04913 73 61 11 1
3387 Here's your prescription. Take one a day with food - preferably garbage. 1.1781 0.04913 73 61 11 1
3388 Be forewarned, the cheese question portion of the job interview is tougher than the maze you scampered through effortlessly. 1.1781 0.04509 73 60 13 0
3389 You can get this filled at the pharmacy downstairs. It's for flea powder and a plastic cone. 1.1781 0.05634 73 63 7 3
3390 Relax- take it. Just don’t tell anyone you got it from me! 1.1781 0.04509 73 60 13 0
3391 No, we don't accept plastic, we only take Swiss cheese 1.1781 0.05286 73 62 9 2
3392 It's effective! It's been proven in animal studies. 1.1781 0.05286 73 62 9 2
3393 Take two once a day, with pizza. 1.1781 0.04913 73 61 11 1
3394 I'm glad the hallucinations stopped... 1.1781 0.04509 73 60 13 0
3395 Here Mr. Mark, just start taking these. Just because you can now discern the predators from the prey doesn't mean you can do anything about it. Best just to keep yourself sedated. 1.1781 0.05286 73 62 9 2
3396 I wasn't sure at first either, but it's really been paradigm shifting! 1.1781 0.04509 73 60 13 0
3397 I’m your lawyer; trust me! 1.1781 0.04509 73 60 13 0
3398 Here's your prescription, now take me for a walk. 1.1781 0.05286 73 62 9 2
3399 A man in a red suit coat? I was told to expect a little girl with a red cloak and a basket! I’ll never gobble you in three gulps. 1.1781 0.04913 73 61 11 1
3400 I've personally tested this one. 1.1781 0.04509 73 60 13 0
3401 It’s not easy cutting the cheese. Here’s a lactose intolerance specialist I recommend. 1.1781 0.05286 73 62 9 2
3402 I'm Doctor Raton, my card... 1.1781 0.05286 73 62 9 2
3403 Of course, my inclination would be to wolf them down. You should take two every four hours. 1.1781 0.04913 73 61 11 1
3404 It's your wife,again. 1.1781 0.04509 73 60 13 0
3405 Take my card. No need to flinch; I've already infected you with bubonic plague. 1.1781 0.04509 73 60 13 0
3406 I assure you, all the lab rats who took this have done quite well. 1.1781 0.04509 73 60 13 0
3407 Take one capsule 3 times a day and you'll soon look as healthy as me. 1.1781 0.05286 73 62 9 2
3408 Just take two Advil and try to stay out of the rat race for a while 1.1781 0.04509 73 60 13 0
3409 I know the news coming from fox may be hard to swallow 1.1781 0.04913 73 61 11 1
3410 Give my office a call if you experience anything unusual. 1.1781 0.04913 73 61 11 1
3411 I know what you're thinking, but I graduated at the top of my animal research group. 1.1781 0.04913 73 61 11 1
3412 We accept Visa, Mastercard, American Express, and hunks of cheddar cheese. 1.1781 0.04913 73 61 11 1
3413 It was just a nerdy doctor's visit. Now I'm getting asked out. 1.1781 0.04913 73 61 11 1
3414 Here ya go! Now, where's the cheese? 1.1781 0.04913 73 61 11 1
3415 Trust me, it's safe. Plus you'll earn some good cheddar. 1.1781 0.04509 73 60 13 0
3416 Do I take it before or after I kill the beast? 1.1781 0.05634 73 63 7 3
3417 Take two cubes of mozzarella and stay away from cats for a while. 1.1781 0.05286 73 62 9 2
3418 Double or nothing for your medical bill. 1.1781 0.05286 73 62 9 2
3419 I worked my up from being a lab rat in Baltimore 1.1781 0.05286 73 62 9 2
3420 See checkout my license! It’s Dr. Rat to you 1.1781 0.04913 73 61 11 1
3421 Please, Mr. Flanagan, just trust me and take these antipsychotics. 1.1781 0.05286 73 62 9 2
3422 Take this - I've tested it and it worked wonders for me. 1.1781 0.04913 73 61 11 1
3423 For your illness of being unpopular, eat a slice of pizza a day in the subway to gain attention. A side effect is becoming a meme. 1.1781 0.04913 73 61 11 1
3424 Cheese has natural opiates. 1.1781 0.05634 73 63 7 3
3425 I really don't like your eyes, so, get back your credit card! 1.1781 0.04913 73 61 11 1
3426 When you start howling at the moon, you’ll know you’re cured! 1.1781 0.04913 73 61 11 1
3427 Everybody knows that rat poison in small doses is good for you. 1.1781 0.04913 73 61 11 1
3428 Take two of these by the light of a full moon, and howl me in the morning. 1.1781 0.04913 73 61 11 1
3429 I’m happy to refer you to a specialist but I have to warn you some patients don’t find him personable. 1.1781 0.05286 73 62 9 2
3430 Who in their right mind would prescribe Rat poison?? 1.1781 0.04913 73 61 11 1
3431 Here is your prescription chit, dollars will be next. 1.1781 0.04913 73 61 11 1
3432 This prescription will improve your perception of me and get rid of those popping eyes. 1.1781 0.05286 73 62 9 2
3433 Unfortunately, your tests show that you’ll start transformation in about a week. 1.1781 0.04509 73 60 13 0
3434 I can do a house call at the henhouse. 1.1781 0.04509 73 60 13 0
3435 Don't worry, there are no side effects. I take two a day. 1.1781 0.05286 73 62 9 2
3436 Why, yes, those are my first prize certificates for hot dog/hamburger competitions. But in medical school I had to stop wolfing down that stuff -- stress raises cholesterol, you know. 1.1781 0.04913 73 61 11 1
3437 Yes some side effects, but worked for me! 1.1781 0.04913 73 61 11 1
3438 You want an orthodontist, not a rodent dentist. 1.1781 0.04913 73 61 11 1
3439 The better to diagnose you, my dear. 1.1781 0.05286 73 62 9 2
3440 I myself have used this hair regrowth treatment for years. 1.1781 0.05286 73 62 9 2
3441 Sorry, we don't take Obamacare. 1.1781 0.04509 73 60 13 0
3442 These have been successfully tested on lab rats with no side effects. 1.1781 0.04509 73 60 12 0
3443 A man to a man wolf. Excuse me , Dr Wolf . 1.1781 0.05286 73 62 9 2
3444 Give this to Trump, it has worked on many of my friends. 1.1781 0.04509 73 60 13 0
3445 I'm prescribing extract of aardvark twice a day for your eye condition. Burp! I'm you're rat doctor! 1.1781 0.05286 73 61 9 2
3446 This antibiotic should take care of that infection. Shall we follow-up in… oh… about a month? 1.1781 0.04913 73 61 11 1
3447 Not addictive... 1.1781 0.04913 73 61 11 1
3448 Lemme tell you: I do this because I'm a friend and I care about you. 1.1781 0.04509 73 60 13 0
3449 Take three slices of cheese in the morning, then three slices of cheese at bedtime. 1.1781 0.04913 73 61 11 1
3450 There's no reported side effects, in fact I take them myself. 1.1781 0.05634 73 63 7 3
3451 Yes, it has been tested in rats. 1.1781 0.04509 73 59 13 0
3452 Yes, bacon is good for you. 1.1781 0.05286 73 62 9 2
3453 No, it's not the human version of what you think it is. 1.1781 0.05286 73 62 9 2
3454 Money shall buy you help and anything else. 1.1781 0.04913 73 61 11 1
3455 What does bad handwriting say about you? 1.1781 0.04913 73 61 11 1
3456 Here's a prescription for cheese. Eat two slices every four hours. 1.1781 0.04913 73 61 11 1
3457 It's rat poison. But don't worry, it won't kill you, only thin your blood. 1.1781 0.05286 73 62 9 2
3458 It’s perfectly safe—we’ve tested it extensively on Baltimore Rats. 1.1781 0.05286 73 62 9 2
3459 You aren't covered! 1.1781 0.05634 73 63 7 3
3460 Eat three bricks of old cheddar and call me in the morning. 1.1781 0.04913 73 61 11 1
3461 Take all the pills from this prescription and I'll look like my own self again on your next visit. 1.1781 0.04509 73 60 13 0
3462 And remember, don't let the cat find this card. 1.1781 0.04509 73 60 13 0
3463 Take this. I'll forget about your remark about my nose. And, I'll waive the co-pay this time. 1.1781 0.04509 73 60 13 0
3464 Take one pill with breakfast everyday. Thanks for participating in round of trials. 1.1781 0.04509 73 60 13 0
3465 I know it's a little unorthodox but dairy therapy has seen some really promising results. 1.1781 0.04913 73 60 11 1
3466 Take two of cheese every day for a week and let me know what happens. 1.1781 0.04913 73 61 11 1
3467 Based on the results you might as well. 1.1781 0.05634 73 63 7 3
3468 Try this medication instead. It tends to have fewer side effects. 1.1781 0.05286 73 62 9 2
3469 Here, take these for pain as often as you like and don't hesitate to ask for more. 1.1781 0.04509 73 60 13 0
3470 Excuse me, the pipes are calling. 1.1781 0.04509 73 60 13 0
3471 Here' s a get out of jail card for the next time you get stuck in the maze. 1.1781 0.04913 73 61 11 1
3472 Nah, dude, you gotta get on my level. Take this piece of paper, find like 100,000 more, build that nest in some rando’s garage near a water source, that shit is the jaaaaammmm 1.1781 0.05286 73 62 9 2
3473 What?! You'd rather stay lactose intolerant? 1.1781 0.05286 73 62 9 2
3474 I'm gonna prescribe you some cheese. 1.1781 0.04509 73 60 13 0
3475 We’ll try this first....it’s topical. If you still have that odd appearance after three months we’ll think about surgery. 1.1781 0.04913 73 61 11 1
3476 Sure it's safe. I've taken it and havn't noticed any side affects. 1.1781 0.04913 73 61 11 1
3477 With rare exceptions,I skip the fiction. 1.1781 0.04913 73 61 11 1
3478 I moved here from Baltimore. Why? 1.1781 0.05634 73 63 7 3
3479 I’m going to need you to take two of these and then run thru a maze for a food pellet . 1.1781 0.04913 73 61 11 1
3480 Here's you prescription, just don't Rat me out! 1.1781 0.05634 73 63 7 3
3481 Take this down the street to the Snake Pharmacy. 1.1781 0.04509 73 60 13 0
3482 To help you deal with your anxiety disorder, here is a little maze I would like you to follow. 1.1781 0.04509 73 60 13 0
3483 About this problem of your starting to look like me, I’ll prescribe something for your transference. 1.1781 0.04913 73 61 11 1
3484 The chemicals in this script were lab rat tested. 1.1781 0.04913 73 61 11 1
3485 Try a CAT scan - I hear they're safe. 1.1781 0.04913 73 61 11 1
3486 Burning Man is terrible this year. 1.1781 0.05286 73 62 9 2
3487 THIS WILL HELP YOU GET THROUGH THE MAZE. 1.1781 0.05286 73 62 9 2
3488 I know it's experimental, but I wouldn't be where I am today without it. 1.1781 0.04913 73 61 11 1
3489 As your aardvark, I advise you to eat more insects and sleep during the day. 1.1781 0.05286 73 62 9 2
3490 "Doc, maybe I should stop using generic pills." 1.1781 0.04913 73 61 11 1
3491 It's coumadin, rat poison..but it's good meds for you. 1.1781 0.04913 73 61 11 1
3492 You may experience a strong desire to eat moldy cheese. 1.1781 0.04913 73 61 11 1
3493 You may experience a strong desire to roam around subway stops. 1.1781 0.04509 73 60 13 0
3494 What are you glaring at me for? Does my moustache scare you? 1.1781 0.04913 73 61 11 1
3495 Unfortunately, there is no cure for personification syndrome, but it is treatable. 1.1781 0.04913 73 61 11 1
3496 It's what I take for headaches. 1.1781 0.05286 73 62 9 2
3497 Here, you might like this one. it's called Doctor Jackal and Mister Hyde. 1.1781 0.04913 73 61 11 1
3498 I take one every day and look at me! 1.1781 0.04913 73 61 11 1
3499 I was in on the development of these babies. Believe me, take one and you'll feel like a whole different person! 1.1781 0.04913 73 61 11 1
3500 This script has a side effect that might leave you mousy. Just keep away from cats ok. 1.1781 0.04509 73 60 13 0
3501 This prescription is only good in Baltimore. 1.1781 0.05286 73 62 9 2
3502 It's a remote control to lock that door. Selma, hold all my calls. 1.1781 0.04913 73 61 11 1
3503 Who did you expect to see given you made an appointment with Dr. Wolf? 1.1781 0.05634 73 63 7 3
3504 It's perfectly safe. My cousin passed the clinical trials with flying colors. 1.1781 0.04913 73 61 11 1
3505 Take two, one for you and one for your cat. And don't call me! 1.1781 0.05286 73 62 9 2
3506 Take two of these and call me in the full moon. 1.1781 0.05634 73 63 7 3
3507 A rat poison Warfarin? Yes. Humans call it Coumadin. 1.1781 0.04913 73 61 11 1
3508 I want you to try this new, cruelty-free cream, made entirely without human testing. 1.1781 0.04913 73 61 11 1
3509 I’ll be honest: you’re not really my usual clientele 1.1781 0.04913 73 61 11 1
3510 This prescription for Warfarin will help you with your heart problems. Believe me,I know it works!! 1.1781 0.04913 73 61 11 1
3511 This is a good one, I’ve tested it myself. 1.1781 0.04913 73 61 11 1
3512 These pills will fuzz up your skin, grow out your nasal hair and move up you mouth. 1.1781 0.04913 73 61 11 1
3513 Yes, a big block of cheese. Eat one and then call me in the morning. 1.1781 0.05286 73 62 9 2
3514 They're 98% effective. Plus I take them myself. 1.1781 0.05286 73 62 9 2
3515 It's rat poison. Great for preventing blood clots. 1.1781 0.04509 73 60 13 0
3516 This prescription will help you learn to enjoy rats. 1.1781 0.04509 73 60 13 0
3517 You know,of course, what I'm prescribing is experimental. 1.1781 0.04913 73 61 11 1
3518 A larger shoe size will ease your pain, now you owe $5,000 in cash and will need a follow-up appointment next week. 1.1781 0.04913 73 61 11 1
3519 It's just an allergy. Take these daily and have your cat boiled alive 1.1781 0.05286 73 62 9 2
3520 This hasn't been tested on humans yet. 1.1781 0.05286 73 62 9 2
3521 I've seen this before... I'm afraid you'll have to lay off the pizza. 1.1781 0.04509 73 58 13 0
3522 Is the white coat making you uncomfortable? 1.1781 0.04913 73 61 11 1
3523 Don't worry, there's always the subway tracks. 1.1781 0.05286 73 62 9 2
3524 C'mon, take it...there's nothing to be afraid of....I promise 1.1781 0.04913 73 61 11 1
3525 one pill a day should reduce your cravings to go dumpster diving 1.1781 0.04913 73 61 11 1
3526 Here's a prescription for your rodent problem. It works great. 1.1781 0.04913 73 61 11 1
3527 I prefer that you pay me in Bitcoin. 1.1781 0.05286 73 62 9 2
3528 Here, download this app. 1.1781 0.04913 73 61 11 1
3529 You must have misheard, we are disease-ridding creatures. 1.1781 0.04913 73 61 11 1
3530 Eat two live chickens, and call me in the morning. 1.1781 0.05286 73 62 9 2
3531 Call me tomorrow. I’ll be in the lab 1.1781 0.04913 73 61 11 1
3532 I'm allergic to cats too. 1.1781 0.04509 73 60 13 0
3533 Follow the directions or else... 1.1781 0.04913 73 61 11 1
3534 Sheep’s clothing is so last millennium. 1.1781 0.04913 73 61 11 1
3535 If you see a cat in the lobby hand him this catnip and tell him to go away 1.1781 0.05286 73 62 9 2
3536 they'll give you a free birthday treat when you sign up, so if you create a new email for each month, then use the previous email as your referral, you can save 15 dollars off your first 20 dollar order on each, and you get a free treat every month 1.1781 0.05634 73 63 7 3
3537 I’d prescribe the generic, but I’ve found the side effects make you iratsible. 1.1781 0.04509 73 60 13 0
3538 Trust me....I was in the research study that proved our burnout rate was much lower than the human control group. 1.1781 0.05286 73 62 9 2
3539 I was part of the research trial and it worked. 1.1781 0.04913 73 61 11 1
3540 I appreciate your concern, Mr Jones, but can assure you I take patient confidentiality quite seriously. 1.1781 0.05286 73 62 9 2
3541 Here's a prescription for the hallucinations. 1.1781 0.05286 73 62 9 2
3542 We see the best results in patients born in the Year of the Monkey. You'll want to stock up on bananas. 1.1781 0.04913 73 61 11 1
3543 Here, take my card and call me whenever you have a cold or if there´s a ball to be fetched. 1.1781 0.04913 73 61 11 1
3544 Yes, this is rat poison, but the benefits outweigh the risks. 1.1781 0.04913 73 61 11 1
3545 Look, I know doctors make some people nervous. If it helps, I'm just like you and put my shoes on one paw at a time. 1.1781 0.04509 73 60 13 0
3546 Before taking, hide this in liverwurst. 1.1781 0.04913 73 61 11 1
3547 This treatment has never been tested on humans. 1.1781 0.04913 73 61 11 1
3548 I also consented to the experimental drug testing. You have nothing to worry about! 1.1781 0.04913 73 61 11 1
3549 I’ m required to warn you that taking these pills causes some bug-eyed people to see a wolf’s head on their doctors and lawyers. 1.1781 0.04913 73 61 11 1
3550 This is blotter acid Wilber ! 1.1781 0.05286 73 62 9 2
3551 This'll cure your alurophobia. Did mine. 1.1781 0.04913 73 61 11 1
3552 I do kids parties on the weekends - here's my card. 1.1781 0.05286 73 62 9 2
3553 Don't feel bad about it. You need the money and no one ever called a cat man's best friend. Clinical trials will begin next month. 1.1781 0.04913 73 61 11 1
3554 I’m prescribing a placebo because you have cried wolf once too often 1.1781 0.05286 73 62 9 2
3555 Just so you know who you're dealing with ... 1.1781 0.05634 73 63 7 3
3556 ...and avoid cheese. 1.1781 0.04913 73 61 11 1
3557 Your doing really great, this should take care of the irritation. Be sure to elevate and get plenty of rest. We’ ll have you back in the maze in no time! 1.1781 0.04509 73 60 13 0
3558 Apply here. I happen to know there's a vacancy in their lab. 1.1781 0.04913 73 61 11 1
3559 Trust me, the side effects are minimal. 1.1781 0.04509 73 60 13 0
3560 Would you look at me like that if I was a mouse? 1.1781 0.04913 73 61 11 1
3561 If you see a large rodent wearing a Medical White Coat take 15 tabs of this high potent LSD . If they start crawling on your body dip yourself in a vat of Benadryl while listening to the Grateful Dead at high pitch. If you are still alive kill Bill 1.1781 0.04913 73 61 11 1
3562 "Take two parasites and call me in the morning." 1.1781 0.05634 73 63 7 3
3563 Doctor Rat: Don't worry about plague! I've been carrying it for most of my life with hardly any discomfort. 1.1781 0.05634 73 63 7 3
3564 It's okay, I always prescribe cheese. 1.1781 0.04913 73 61 11 1
3565 These will expire in two dog years. 1.1781 0.04913 73 61 11 1
3566 This new medication has been tested on my kids with positive results. 1.1781 0.04509 73 60 13 0
3567 Best scrip I've seen for energy, but on the competitive maze circuit the darn stuff's illegal 1.1781 0.04509 73 60 13 0
3568 Here's your ticket to Baltimore tell my family I've found a new city to breed in. 1.1781 0.05286 73 62 9 2
3569 It's been thoroughly tested. 1.1781 0.05962 73 64 5 4
3570 Most of the others survived too 1.1781 0.04509 73 60 13 0
3571 That was the lab, you're my third patient this month who's contracted the plague. 1.1781 0.04509 73 60 13 0
3572 This prescription would cost way more under Medicare for All. 1.1781 0.04509 73 60 13 0
3573 So YOU think you're a werewolf....? Seriously?! 1.1781 0.05634 73 63 7 3
3574 If your symptoms are shortness of breath, take this, but stop if your house blows down. 1.1781 0.05286 73 62 9 2
3575 Of course you can trust me, I got a 98 on my M-RAT 1.1781 0.05962 73 64 5 4
3576 I can’t find any humor in your euphemistic use of the term ‘rat poison’. 1.1733 0.04792 75 63 11 1
3577 Here’s my business card. And also a reminder to pay the co-pay before you leave the office. 1.1733 0.04400 75 62 13 0
3578 You may become a physician. 1.1733 0.05493 75 65 7 3
3579 Here's the key card to your cage ...uh...cubicle. 1.1714 0.05373 70 60 8 2
3580 Now that we have "Medicare for All," everything comes in a suppository. 1.1714 0.05373 70 60 8 2
3581 What did you expect from socialized medicine? 1.1714 0.05745 70 61 6 3
3582 Cut back on the cheese and send it to me. 1.1714 0.04973 70 59 10 1
3583 Take these for the hallucinations and then call us if you’re still dilated. 1.1714 0.04973 70 59 10 1
3584 Take one, per day, in a saucer of milk. 1.1690 0.04908 71 60 10 1
3585 Think about it.Intra-species transplantation makes logical sense. 1.1690 0.04479 71 59 12 0
3586 What do you expect? I'm a dog, not a drug vending machine. 1.1690 0.05302 71 61 8 2
3587 The generic will be less expensive but if you really want to save some serious money I suggest you try the placebo. 1.1690 0.04908 71 60 10 1
3588 You can keep waving the card if you want, but I still a cat. 1.1690 0.04908 71 60 10 1
3589 One tablet three times a day, and stop watching Donnie Darko every night. 1.1690 0.04908 71 60 10 1
3590 Look at my phone and count backwards from 100. Soon, you'll become more and more uninteresting... 1.1690 0.04479 71 59 12 0
3591 Not to worry. None of my family members were harmed making this drug 1.1690 0.04479 71 59 12 0
3592 Try this. It's 65% effective in mice. 1.1690 0.04908 71 60 10 1
3593 Take two and call me in the morning... 1.1690 0.05302 71 61 8 2
3594 I am recommending you eat a piece of cheese, always makes me feel better" 1.1690 0.04908 71 60 10 1
3595 Take 2 aspirin and howl at me in the morning. 1.1690 0.05302 71 61 8 2
3596 Should ir-rat-icate your cough with a lovely cheese flavor to boot. 1.1690 0.04479 71 59 12 0
3597 Cheese is good for you! 1.1690 0.04908 71 60 10 1
3598 Take this twice a day and your head will be back to normal in a week. 1.1690 0.04908 71 60 10 1
3599 Take two concentrated cheese tablets daily and you will be aMAZEd at how good you will feel. 1.1690 0.04479 71 59 12 0
3600 It's the answer to Life, the Universe, and Everything. 1.1690 0.04908 71 60 10 1
3601 It’s been thoroughly tested on rats. 1.1690 0.05302 71 61 8 2
3602 Stop taking this if you start experiencing hallucinations. 1.1690 0.05302 71 61 8 2
3603 Here's a prescription for rat pills. 1.1690 0.05302 71 61 8 2
3604 Before I write your prescriptions, tell me, are you hallucinating right now? 1.1690 0.04908 71 60 10 1
3605 James Cagney pins his famous quote,”You Dirty Rat”. 1.1667 0.04970 78 67 9 2
3606 you aren't going to weasel out of this Murray! 1.1642 0.05031 67 57 9 1
3607 And this is the prescription for the disease I just gave you when I nibbled on your toe. 1.1639 0.05811 61 53 6 2
3608 I'm on their side and on your side. 1.1622 0.05101 74 64 8 2
3609 I can tell you that this place is not some hole in the wall. 1.1618 0.04963 68 58 9 1
3610 Take 1 weekly dose of CBT and preform regular exercise . Don't watch cable New Billing code Service *Insurance Type Insurance Pays Balance 64656 radical concepts Medicaid 100% -$52.97 1.1618 0.04963 68 58 9 1
3611 Those are wolf whiskers not nose hairs, and they make great shaving brushes. 1.1618 0.04499 68 57 11 0
3612 Happy to report that there is neigh-thing wrong with you. 1.1618 0.04499 68 57 11 0
3613 It’s just a cold, not the bubonic plague or anything. 1.1618 0.04963 68 58 9 1
3614 These were not tested on humans. 1.1618 0.04499 68 57 11 0
3615 Take one a day and try to avoid sinking ships. 1.1618 0.04963 68 58 9 1
3616 Don"t weasel your way out of this colonoscopy appointment. 1.1618 0.05387 68 59 7 2
3617 'Don't worry, it's approved by lab rats.' 1.1618 0.04963 68 58 9 1
3618 This may help, but your ability to smell will never reach normal levels. 1.1618 0.04963 68 58 9 1
3619 First task is to prove that you can read my writing. 1.1618 0.04499 68 57 11 0
3620 The couch costs extra 1.1618 0.04963 68 58 9 1
3621 I'm the one doctor out of ten, who thinks nicotine is okay. 1.1618 0.04963 68 58 9 1
3622 I’m kind of hiding from the cyber police. Want to answer for me? 1.1618 0.04963 68 58 9 1
3623 If this ginkgo biloba and 'Luminosity' don't help, try running through a maze once in a while. 1.1618 0.05387 68 59 7 2
3624 I’m recommending regular chewing gum, the kind with sugar. 1.1618 0.05387 68 59 7 2
3625 Sir, this card needs to be renewed. It says you're a 25 year old anteater. 1.1618 0.04963 68 58 9 1
3626 This may seem like a large number, but in my experience, you have to consume large quantities of any medication. 1.1618 0.05387 68 59 7 2
3627 can you believe it's 2019 and people still discriminates me Because of my race 1.1618 0.05387 68 59 7 2
3628 What am I prescribing you? Stitches 1.1618 0.04963 68 58 9 1
3629 Well, after they removed everything that made us sick from the market, what did you expect? 1.1618 0.04963 68 58 9 1
3630 Why are you so concerned about going to the lab? 1.1618 0.05780 68 60 5 3
3631 Methinks I shall skip my next appointment. 1.1618 0.04499 68 57 11 0
3632 Is this your card? Rats... 1.1618 0.04499 68 57 11 0
3633 Trust me -- negotiating the healthcare system is a maze... 1.1618 0.04963 68 58 9 1
3634 It'll keep you from turning into me. 1.1618 0.04963 68 58 9 1
3635 I added a prescription for rabies vaccinations ... you know, just in case. 1.1618 0.05387 68 59 7 2
3636 I wouldn't worry about it so much. The effects of LSD usually wears off in a few hours" -Amir Khafagy, New York- 1.1618 0.04963 68 58 9 1
3637 You have nothing to worry about, none of my litter mates reported any significant side effects in clinical trials. 1.1618 0.04499 68 57 11 0
3638 You know, you are what you eat. 1.1618 0.05387 68 59 7 2
3639 You act like you've never been to a doctor in Baltimore before. 1.1618 0.05387 68 59 7 2
3640 Rats in Baltimore? More like the White House 1.1618 0.05387 68 59 7 2
3641 My card .., in case you decide to stay in network. 1.1618 0.04963 68 58 9 1
3642 I recommend my brother. Here’s his number in Baltimore. 1.1618 0.04963 68 58 9 1
3643 I care enough to give a rats ass-pirin, twice a day, with food. 1.1618 0.05387 68 59 7 2
3644 This script is for cheese. Always works for me 1.1618 0.04963 68 58 9 1
3645 the side effects are minimal. I take it myself 1.1618 0.04963 68 58 9 1
3646 Your Big Bad Wolf attitude does nothing for me. 1.1618 0.04963 68 58 9 1
3647 I know this isn't Doctor Patient appropriate, but I may have won the Asian Super lotto. Now to complete the dream I would like to marry you and recommend an opthamologist to work on that protruding eye. 1.1618 0.05387 68 59 7 2
3648 This prescription will take away your tendencies toward misidentification. 1.1618 0.05387 68 59 7 2
3649 Experience? I started out as a lab rat. 1.1618 0.04499 68 57 11 0
3650 If you end up selling these on the streets please don’t give any to my son... 1.1618 0.04499 68 57 11 0
3651 And I tell all my patients to get tested for bubonic plague. 1.1618 0.05780 68 60 5 3
3652 I've been trained to navigate your health insurance claims. 1.1618 0.04963 68 58 9 1
3653 Here’s a prescription for Half a pound of tuppenny rice Half a pound of treacle. Take it and stand back. 1.1618 0.04963 68 58 9 1
3654 No need for concern. I have given this same prescription to every patient I’ve seen over the last six months. 1.1618 0.04499 68 57 11 0
3655 Here is a referral to a proctologist I know...he is the best. 1.1618 0.04963 68 58 9 1
3656 My what big eyes you have, all the better to see the little red writing, swallow whole on an empty stomach. 1.1618 0.04963 68 58 9 1
3657 Fill it at a pet store. It will help control your animal hallucinations. 1.1618 0.04963 68 58 9 1
3658 The name's Ratburn, Nigel Ratburn. 1.1618 0.05780 68 60 5 3
3659 You need to get rid of your bias. 1.1618 0.05387 68 59 7 2
3660 Try this, it’ll put hair on your chest. 1.1618 0.05387 68 59 7 2
3661 That'll be $200 in cheese blocks (American and Cheddar preferred). 1.1618 0.04963 68 58 9 1
3662 The bad news is: your claim was denied. The good news is: you have three months to live. 1.1618 0.05387 68 59 7 2
3663 I'll refill it, but don't hesitate to call about any side effects. 1.1618 0.04499 68 57 11 0
3664 We would like you involved in this animal trial. You game? 1.1618 0.04499 68 57 11 0
3665 I'm getting cancelled for this one 1.1618 0.04499 68 57 11 0
3666 I can personally guarantee the research done on this drug. 1.1618 0.04963 68 58 9 1
3667 It's over-the-counter. That is, if your landfill has a counter. 1.1618 0.04499 68 57 11 0
3668 You'll love this, my cousin tested it, new to market 1.1618 0.04963 68 58 9 1
3669 Microdosing doesn't work if you lack self-control. Take these instead. 1.1618 0.04963 68 58 9 1
3670 What I’m prescribing here is perfectly safe. This stuff has been through extensive testing, believe me. 1.1618 0.05387 68 59 7 2
3671 Listen, I'm the best Dr. in Baltimore- take two and call me in the morning. 1.1618 0.06148 68 61 3 4
3672 The results of this study have thus far shown to be only effective on mice. 1.1618 0.04499 68 57 11 0
3673 I have your diagnosis--you need a new head to express your inner animal spirits--right now there's a sale on hybrids at wolvesareus.com 1.1618 0.04499 68 57 11 0
3674 It was tested on some of my ancestors with great success. 1.1618 0.04963 68 58 9 1
3675 Get this prescription filled immediately and take 6 of them when you get home and you may stop hallucinating until your next office visit. 1.1618 0.04499 68 57 11 0
3676 Fill this prescription and you’ll stop imagining that people are rats. 1.1618 0.04499 68 57 11 0
3677 Take my word for it: experimental therapy can be quite effective. 1.1618 0.04499 68 57 11 0
3678 ...and, good luck with that drug trial 1.1618 0.04963 68 58 9 1
3679 It's for coumadin... 1.1618 0.04963 68 58 9 1
3680 Give Mr. Dean a call, he has been through this before. 1.1618 0.04963 68 58 9 1
3681 This prescription will unleash your inner self. It has gotten me three promotions. 1.1618 0.04963 68 58 9 1
3682 My friend says it worked much better than the placebo group. 1.1618 0.04963 68 58 9 1
3683 Doctor...I think you have given me the wrong medication 1.1618 0.04963 68 58 9 1
3684 I can assure you, this has been thoroughly tested. 1.1618 0.04963 68 58 9 1
3685 If I still look like a hedgehog next week we 1.1618 0.04499 68 59 8 0
3686 After reading this, you'll know what the fox says. 1.1618 0.04963 68 58 9 1
3687 Sir, it's inappropriate to call me foxy. 1.1618 0.04499 68 57 11 0
3688 Here's my card, call me when you have an authentic problem. 1.1618 0.04499 68 57 11 0
3689 Here's your ticket to the Human Maze...enjoy! 1.1618 0.04963 68 58 9 1
3690 Here is the number of an associate who can help you. I am dropping out of the rat race. 1.1618 0.04499 68 57 11 0
3691 We’ll have no trouble with PETA in getting you enrolled in our study. 1.1618 0.04963 68 58 9 1
3692 Another refill? You're not trying to out-shrewd Doc Shrew, are you? 1.1618 0.04963 68 58 9 1
3693 After you take these pills, I won't look like such a rat. 1.1618 0.04499 68 57 11 0
3694 Be careful with this. Has been known to grow hair on your chinny chin chin! 1.1618 0.05387 68 59 7 2
3695 Take this coupon for a discount on Swiss cheese to your favorite supermarket. You'll feel better in no time. 1.1618 0.05387 68 59 7 2
3696 this prescription will give you a fast painless metamorphosis 1.1618 0.04499 68 57 11 0
3697 Now that your hiccups are gone,here is a prescription for tranquilizers. 1.1618 0.04499 68 57 11 0
3698 Don't worry about the pot--your stool samples float directly past my apartment. 1.1618 0.05780 68 60 5 3
3699 Eat 10 of these and let's see if any new lumps develop. 1.1618 0.04963 68 58 9 1
3700 Don't worry, I have lots of firsthand experience testing this medicine. 1.1618 0.04499 68 57 11 0
3701 I've never seen such a severe stigmatism. If this doesn't work, you will have to consult Dr Baer. 1.1618 0.04963 68 58 9 1
3702 Here take these. They should grow back within a week. 1.1618 0.05387 68 59 7 2
3703 Side effects may include whiskers, a tail, and an inexplicable desire for cheese. 1.1618 0.04963 68 58 9 1
3704 Take two of these and ferret me out in the morning. 1.1618 0.04963 68 58 9 1
3705 I've gotta take this call. It's a rat race out there. 1.1618 0.04499 68 57 10 0
3706 One of the side effects is rodent sight syndrome 1.1618 0.04499 68 57 11 0
3707 This should work for you; the last cheese was too mild. 1.1618 0.04963 68 58 9 1
3708 Try a little gambling. You've been outfoxed again by your crappy insurance company. 1.1618 0.04963 68 58 9 1
3709 Get busy living, or get busy dying. 1.1618 0.05387 68 59 7 2
3710 Here, take these to help with your stress in the rat race 1.1618 0.05387 68 59 7 2
3711 I guarantee this medication will work, they tested it on my cousin. 1.1618 0.04499 68 57 11 0
3712 Doesn't look like rat fever to me. 1.1618 0.05387 68 59 7 2
3713 It's only warfarin. 1.1618 0.05387 68 59 7 2
3714 Side effects may include dizziness, vomiting, and an increased appetite for cheese. 1.1618 0.04963 68 58 9 1
3715 Of course it tastes like cheese. That's why it works! 1.1618 0.05387 68 59 7 2
3716 Yeah, I know Warfarin is rat poison, but trust me, you need it. 1.1618 0.05387 68 59 7 2
3717 We need to biopsy your credit card. 1.1618 0.05387 68 59 7 2
3718 I’m writing you a prescription for a gay rat wedding 1.1618 0.05780 68 60 5 3
3719 You will find us everywhere in Baltimore. 1.1618 0.05780 68 60 5 3
3720 Drink this medicine and prove that you're a rat! 1.1618 0.04963 68 58 9 1
3721 You dirty rat! Where did you get your license to practice medicine? 1.1618 0.04499 68 57 11 0
3722 Now go slaughter those cute little mousies. 1.1618 0.04963 68 58 9 1
3723 Here's your coumadin. I've never had a patient complain that they took too much of the stuff. 1.1618 0.05387 68 59 7 2
3724 Your former mole has been removed. 1.1618 0.04499 68 57 11 0
3725 Turophobia? Let's start with some maze therapy." 1.1618 0.04963 68 58 9 1
3726 Here's a script for a pile of ants - does the trick for me, every time. 1.1618 0.04963 68 58 9 1
3727 As your health professional. This drug has no side affecf are no side effects for you to be concerned about. 1.1618 0.04963 68 58 9 1
3728 ‘You could enter a study. Know anything about mazes?” 1.1618 0.04499 68 57 11 0
3729 These should help get your mind out of the sewer. 1.1618 0.04963 68 58 9 1
3730 It's alternative rodent medicine, and highly recommended. 1.1618 0.05387 68 59 7 2
3731 I can't help you if don't have an open mind. 1.1618 0.04963 68 58 9 1
3732 Listen doctor, stop looking at me like that. I am not your 4th pig. 1.1618 0.05780 68 60 5 3
3733 Quick! Call the lab. The trial sample was supposed to hurt you, not me. 1.1618 0.05387 68 59 7 2
3734 Take two with meals, but do NOT mix with cheese. 1.1618 0.05387 68 59 7 2
3735 Yes, this is an especially bad plague season. 1.1618 0.04963 68 58 9 1
3736 All the humans were sick of the healthcare system, so that left a bunch of job openings 1.1618 0.04963 68 58 9 1
3737 Don't worry. It's still me. I just got a head transplant michael.rogness@gmail.com 1.1618 0.05780 68 60 5 3
3738 Take this every full moon. It worked for me. 1.1618 0.04963 68 58 9 1
3739 The best thing about this cream is that it has no side effects. 1.1618 0.04499 68 57 11 0
3740 I highly recommend this medication, 200 of my relatives were the lab-rats who first tried it. 1.1618 0.04499 68 57 11 0
3741 Trust me. It’s not warfarin. 1.1618 0.04963 68 58 9 1
3742 Perfectly normal side effect. Here's the prescription for more! 1.1618 0.04499 68 57 11 0
3743 I know, I know, everyone says they would rather swallow rat poison than this stuff! 1.1618 0.04499 68 57 11 0
3744 This formulation should have fewer side effects. 1.1618 0.04963 68 58 9 1
3745 Give this to the cats and you'll be fine. 1.1618 0.04963 68 58 9 1
3746 Trust me, in aardvarks this treatment achieved placebo at least 67% of the time. 1.1618 0.04963 68 58 9 1
3747 This your referral to see an extermina . . . um, I mean, specialist. 1.1618 0.04499 68 57 11 0
3748 Your life is in tatters, try gnawing through some of these. 1.1618 0.04963 68 58 9 1
3749 So, whose clothes are YOU wearing? 1.1618 0.04499 68 57 11 0
3750 Don’t worry, I’m vaccinated. 1.1618 0.04499 68 57 11 0
3751 You have my word, they will not think it strange. 1.1618 0.05387 68 59 7 2
3752 Since the mask didn’t make you laugh, try taking this. 1.1618 0.04499 68 57 11 0
3753 Have this piece of cheese, you'll feel better. 1.1618 0.04963 68 58 9 1
3754 TAKE TWO TABS BY MOUTH EVERY 8 HOURS AS NEEDED FOR ANXIETY FOR 30 DAYS BEGIN DETOX AT: ‘I Don’t Give a Rat’s Ass Rehab’ FOR THE NEXT 30 YEARS 1.1618 0.05387 68 59 7 2
3755 You’ll need an antidote for that rat poison you’ve been using 1.1618 0.04963 68 58 9 1
3756 Here’s where to send the cheese if you want the test results 1.1618 0.05387 68 59 7 2
3757 If its good enough for lab mice its good enough for you. 1.1618 0.04499 68 57 11 0
3758 Here is a prescription which will keep you from growing a fox mask. 1.1618 0.04963 68 58 9 1
3759 Ok, get this filled and pay on your way out, we take cash, credit, or a nice firm chunk of Irish chedder. 1.1618 0.04499 68 57 11 0
3760 Haven't you ever taken an experimental drug before? 1.1618 0.04499 68 57 11 0
3761 Warfarin? Thank you Doc, but I think I'll get a second opinion. 1.1618 0.04963 68 58 9 1
3762 Fill this prescription and you will be beautiful and happy like the people on TV. I promise. 1.1618 0.05387 68 59 7 2
3763 God news I can fit you in for a sleep study tomorrow 1.1618 0.05387 68 59 7 2
3764 Take two at bedtime and have your folks call me when they’re mourning. 1.1618 0.04963 68 58 9 1
3765 To save the brain and thin the blood take this rat poison daily. 1.1618 0.04963 68 58 9 1
3766 This should help with the murine hallucinations. 1.1618 0.04499 68 57 11 0
3767 Welcome to Baltimore. 1.1618 0.04963 68 58 9 1
3768 Take an extra treat in the afternoon. 1.1618 0.04499 68 57 11 0
3769 You'll come around. 1.1618 0.05387 68 59 7 2
3770 This will knock it out of you. It's sharp. 1.1618 0.04499 68 57 11 0
3771 This prescription is to be taken as a prophylactic. 1.1618 0.04499 68 57 11 0
3772 Take two a day of these pills, and your seeing things will pass! 1.1618 0.05387 68 59 7 2
3773 It's nothing to be ashamed of, John. Take this, and you’ll be breeding like me in no time. 1.1618 0.04963 68 58 9 1
3774 Better to have a few rats than to be one 1.1618 0.05387 68 59 7 2
3775 Here's your perscription, and don't worry so much I had the bubonic plague once and look at me know. If you don't take this fast you'll be stuck as a filthy human forever. 1.1618 0.04499 68 57 11 0
3776 I can huff and puff but you'll need more than that for your fever. 1.1618 0.04963 68 58 9 1
3777 This will make all your pain go away. Trust me! 1.1618 0.04963 68 58 9 1
3778 Chew two plastic bins and call me in the morning. 1.1618 0.04963 68 58 9 1
3779 Sir, life on the subways just isn’t healthy anymore. 1.1618 0.04963 68 58 9 1
3780 This should help. It's for an anti-hallucinogen. 1.1618 0.04963 68 58 9 1
3781 Just take these twice a day and that should help you stop seeing me as whatever you are currently seeing me as, 1.1618 0.04499 68 57 11 0
3782 This prescription is only sold through a cubbyhole in the baseboard at Ducky's Tavern. 1.1618 0.04499 68 57 11 0
3783 Don't take these on an empty stomach as it could lead to paranoia 1.1618 0.04963 68 58 9 1
3784 Would you mind picking this up for me? 1.1618 0.05387 68 59 7 2
3785 Here. Just don't rat me out for this. 1.1618 0.04963 68 58 9 1
3786 Here's your script for black plague. The jet fuel to get a decent price for these meds will melt a few glaciers on the way, but it's totally affordable in Mexico. 1.1618 0.04499 68 57 11 0
3787 I can’t keep writing you sick notes for work. What’s going to happen if people start questioning my credentials? 1.1618 0.05387 68 59 7 2
3788 What,you don't think I'm worth it? 1.1618 0.04499 68 57 11 0
3789 I'm lactose intolerant too, but they make great vegan cheese these days. 1.1618 0.04499 68 57 11 0
3790 They've been tested on me. 1.1618 0.04499 68 57 11 0
3791 I know you are in-network but we only accept pet insurance here. 1.1618 0.05387 68 59 7 2
3792 Studies are now finding health benefits from small regular doses of plague. 1.1618 0.05387 68 59 7 2
3793 I'm late, but break the rules, because my proposed caption for cartoon 671 (?) of the two elephants facing each other is far better than the 3 lame candidates you offered. Here it is: "I thought we were supposed to be symbiotic." Regards. 1.1618 0.05780 68 60 5 3
3794 I understand that you're skeptical, but no, it's not for rat poison. 1.1618 0.04499 68 57 11 0
3795 Of course,you will get the corner office. 1.1618 0.04499 68 57 11 0
3796 This should help control your rodent phobia. 1.1618 0.04499 68 57 11 0
3797 The eyes have it 1.1618 0.04963 68 58 9 1
3798 I'm an anteater, but I guess she was a... Maneater- Hohoho. Well- until next time bob, sorry about the break-up. Here's your prescription for antidepressants. 1.1618 0.05780 68 60 5 3
3799 For your condition, I can recommend nothing less than a panda head. 1.1618 0.05387 68 59 7 2
3800 Of course it works. I tested it on myself. 1.1618 0.05387 68 59 7 2
3801 Take three puffs and you'll be able to blow the house down. 1.1618 0.05387 68 59 7 2
3802 You're my doctor?!?!... How old are you again? 1.1618 0.04963 68 58 9 1
3803 No strings attached 1.1618 0.04499 68 57 11 0
3804 Here's your prescription - it works fine; and I know from personal experience that there are no bad side effects. 1.1618 0.04963 68 58 9 1
3805 The hallucinations can be rough, rough, rough. 1.1618 0.04963 68 58 9 1
3806 Next time bring your owner. 1.1618 0.05387 68 59 7 2
3807 These should take care of your dairy allergy. Fixed me right up. 1.1618 0.04963 68 58 9 1
3808 What? It's your ticket to emulate! 1.1618 0.05387 68 59 7 2
3809 Take 5 and call me in the mourning 1.1618 0.04499 68 57 11 0
3810 Don't worry about getting addicted, they're far too lethal. 1.1618 0.04963 68 58 9 1
3811 I can't accept your check, I only treat foxy ladies. 1.1618 0.04499 68 57 11 0
3812 Does this meet your fantasy? 1.1618 0.04963 68 58 9 1
3813 THIS is your LAST opioid prescription from me!! 1.1618 0.04963 68 58 9 1
3814 This drug is still experimental, but some very close friends tell me it works great. 1.1618 0.04499 68 57 11 0
3815 It’s your next appointment, not the bubonic plague. 1.1618 0.04963 68 58 9 1
3816 I was in the animal trials for this drug. 1.1618 0.05387 68 59 7 2
3817 Just take the deal 1.1618 0.05387 68 59 7 2
3818 I'd prefer if you didn't look so sheepish. 1.1618 0.05780 68 60 5 3
3819 I started out running the mazes and gradually moved up the ladder, both literally and figuratively. 1.1618 0.04963 68 58 9 1
3820 Forest therapy? You want me to hug a tree and make daisy chains? 1.1618 0.04963 68 58 9 1
3821 I specialise in mouse to mouth resuscitation. 1.1618 0.04499 68 57 11 0
3822 You`re drugged 1.1618 0.04499 68 57 11 0
3823 I spend a lot of time at the gym. 1.1618 0.04963 68 58 9 1
3824 Send for the big cheese. 1.1594 0.04896 69 59 9 1
3825 Two pills a day for your sloth. 1.1594 0.04896 69 59 9 1
3826 Take one daily with a bowl of water. 1.1594 0.05313 69 60 7 2
3827 Take three slices of cheese and call me in the morning. 1.1594 0.04896 69 59 9 1
3828 I tried these myself this morning and the itch definitely went away. By the way, you wouldn’t happen to have any cheese on you? 1.1549 0.05172 71 62 7 2
3829 I just need one more punch for free cheese. 1.1538 0.05473 65 57 6 2
3830 I did my own lab testing on this. 1.1538 0.05015 65 56 8 1
3831 Take two, and don't see me in the morning. 1.1538 0.05015 65 55 8 1
3832 believe me - I’ve seen some positive results with this stuff. 1.1538 0.05015 65 56 8 1
3833 This Rx will cover the pre-op therapy to treat your species dysphoria. Many humans are happier as rats. 1.1538 0.05015 65 56 8 1
3834 I say if you can't beat them join them 1.1538 0.04510 65 55 10 0
3835 I can personally recommend this medication despite the side effects..... 1.1538 0.05015 65 55 8 1
3836 Trust me. I was a Rhodents Scholar. 1.1538 0.05015 65 56 8 1
3837 Remember: What doesn't kill you makes you strong. 1.1538 0.05015 65 56 8 1
3838 Believe me, this prescription will eliminate your rodent hallucinations. 1.1538 0.04510 65 55 10 0
3839 These drugs are completely underground, but I'd rather trust my network than the FDA. 1.1538 0.05473 65 57 6 2
3840 Our practice is open to all newcomers regardless of evolutionary status. Howard Lubar, Boulder, CO 1.1538 0.05015 65 56 8 1
3841 It pains me to have to give you this.” 1.1538 0.04510 65 55 10 0
3842 I went back to school when Michelangelo got hitched. 1.1538 0.05015 65 56 8 1
3843 It’s a harmless drug. I take it myself. 1.1538 0.05015 65 56 8 1
3844 These will tide you over until your prescription is filled or you hit the lottery, whichever occurs first. 1.1538 0.05015 65 56 8 1
3845 The tests are fine, so since your insurance company is on board Doctor Moreau will schedule surgery once he's back from his Caribbean vacation. 1.1538 0.04510 65 55 10 0
3846 Take 2 a day until I blow your house down. 1.1538 0.05473 65 57 6 2
3847 This will help you huff and puff better. 1.1528 0.05474 72 64 5 3
3848 You have been exposed to a rodent poison, here's your prescription. 1.1528 0.05104 72 63 7 2
3849 The better to click you with, my dear! 1.1528 0.05104 72 63 7 2
3850 Take two of these and howl at me in the morning. 1.1515 0.04447 66 56 10 0
3851 I'm quack doctors' biggest competitor 1.1515 0.04944 66 57 8 1
3852 Wolf down 10 of these every evening with raw caribou meat, and call me in a month. 1.1515 0.04944 66 57 8 1
3853 I understand the smell but we take patient privacy very seriously. 1.1515 0.04944 66 57 8 1
3854 Take two of these pills and start a food RATion. 1.1515 0.04944 66 57 8 1
3855 Would you mind if I put a little extra on your bill for a wedge of cheese? 1.1515 0.04447 66 56 10 0
3856 I don't understand your confusion, it clearly states that I am a licensed animal doctor... 1.1515 0.04944 66 57 8 1
3857 Don't worry about his new drug. It worked on me. 1.1515 0.04944 66 57 8 1
3858 I can personally vouch for this drug--it cured my brother in laboratory tests. 1.1515 0.04447 66 56 10 0
3859 I'm from Baltimore. 1.1515 0.04447 66 56 10 0
3860 Take this. It will help to get ride of your delusions 1.1515 0.04944 66 57 8 1
3861 No, I don't have that boat anymore. That's why your next appointment is on a Wednesday. 1.1515 0.04944 66 57 8 1
3862 This will keep the werewolves away. 1.1515 0.04447 66 56 10 0
3863 In case you decide for that professional human extermination 1.1515 0.04944 66 57 8 1
3864 Call me when you are ready to transition into the rat race. 1.1515 0.04944 66 57 8 1
3865 Do not worry man. If you have no talent and just can say nonsense, you can apply for the next presidential election. 1.1515 0.05395 66 58 6 2
3866 This should do the trick, as long as you’re OK with prolonged close confinement. 1.1515 0.04447 66 56 10 0
3867 Have this filled. I know it works on rats. 1.1515 0.04447 66 56 10 0
3868 If you keep coming to me this often, no one will believe that you're sick. 1.1515 0.04944 66 57 8 1
3869 Try this to increase the size of your nose hairs. 1.1515 0.04447 66 56 10 0
3870 Let’s be clear. I don’t bulk bill. Now get out or I’ll Black Plague your arse. 1.1515 0.04447 66 56 10 0
3871 Disguises are good when the diagnosis is shit. 1.1515 0.04447 66 56 10 0
3872 I didn’t realize Rodentists could prescribe 1.1515 0.05811 66 59 4 3
3873 Take two of these at bedtime and call me at the next full moon 1.1515 0.04944 66 57 8 1
3874 Doctor said " Take this medicine and maybe it will works with you or I guess you will recover soon" 1.1515 0.05395 66 58 6 2
3875 This will solve your nightmares about talking rats. 1.1515 0.04944 66 57 8 1
3876 Take it, you don't want to end up like the rats. 1.1515 0.05395 66 58 6 2
3877 No, I've taken it myself with no noticeable side effects. 1.1515 0.04447 66 56 10 0
3878 your expressions shows you are from Canada! 1.1515 0.04944 66 57 8 1
3879 It's not a prescription, it's an invitation to our next Furry convention 1.1515 0.04944 66 57 8 1
3880 Take two cheese and calm in the morning. 1.1515 0.04944 66 57 8 1
3881 Take two Cheezits and call me in the morning. 1.1515 0.04447 66 56 10 0
3882 You might want to try my astrologer. 1.1515 0.04447 66 56 10 0
3883 Take two and trap me in the morning. 1.1515 0.04944 66 57 8 1
3884 Of course it was tested on humans 1.1515 0.04447 66 56 10 0
3885 If symptoms persist, call back and we'll see about resealing the tomb 1.1515 0.04944 66 57 8 1
3886 I recommend reading "Little Red Riding Hood" before our next appointment. 1.1515 0.05395 66 58 6 2
3887 You may or may not have the plague, but, to be on the safe side, I would recommend you avoid vermin-infested offices. 1.1515 0.04944 66 57 8 1
3888 Since I can't block politics out of your life. take 2 of these when politics comes a knockin' .'. 1.1515 0.04944 66 57 8 1
3889 Every patient who fills this prescription gets me another block of cheese from the sales rep. 1.1515 0.04447 66 56 10 0
3890 Here's a prescription for some anti-hallucinogens. 1.1515 0.04447 66 56 10 0
3891 Buy and hold the better mousetrap. 1.1515 0.05395 66 58 5 2
3892 Here we go, blue cheese twice a day. 1.1515 0.04447 66 56 10 0
3893 All you ever need is a good fox. 1.1515 0.04447 66 56 10 0
3894 I take this prescription myself. I haven’t noticed any side effects yet. 1.1515 0.04944 66 57 8 1
3895 Don't worry, I've done plenty of open chests. 1.1515 0.04447 66 56 10 0
3896 I'm sorry but Mice Associates doesn't do CAT scans. 1.1515 0.04944 66 57 8 1
3897 Like some rat gum? Our tests show that it’s 93% carcinogenic free. 1.1515 0.05395 66 58 6 2
3898 See here Mr. Smith ! I 1.1515 0.04944 66 57 8 1
3899 It may work wherever you want to be but not at the Vet. 1.1515 0.04447 66 56 10 0
3900 Yeah, we'll have that massive schnoz fixed up in no time. 1.1515 0.05395 66 58 6 2
3901 I'm leaving the rat race, please refer to my colleague. 1.1515 0.04944 66 57 8 1
3902 You can get this filled at the hardware store. 1.1515 0.04944 66 57 8 1
3903 Here. Take two aspirins and call me in the morning. 1.1475 0.05141 61 53 7 1
3904 I don't know what you've got, but these pills and $100 will cure it. 1.1475 0.05141 61 53 7 1
3905 I'm giving you this prescription. Tell me when you top seeing elephants. 1.1475 0.04578 61 52 9 0
3906 I am putting you on a hard cheese diet. 1.1452 0.05063 62 54 7 1
3907 What, you've never seen a doctor my age before? 1.1452 0.05063 62 54 7 1
3908 But I'm allergic to Munster! 1.1452 0.04510 62 53 9 0
3909 Here, take this business card. He's a brilliant costumier and with a nice rat mask like mine, you'll have a better chance of winning the race. 1.1452 0.04510 62 53 9 0
3910 We’ve been seeing a lot of these cases lately.” 1.1452 0.05063 62 54 7 1
3911 You may bark louder than me - but this’ll put some bite in it! 1.1452 0.05063 62 54 7 1
3912 Don't worry, it's not poison ! 1.1452 0.04510 62 53 9 0
3913 Trust me, it's got incredible street value!" 1.1452 0.05063 62 54 7 1
3914 This will make you feel more a part of the rat race. 1.1452 0.05063 62 54 7 1
3915 It’s impossible to get plague from a prescription pad. Now get out of my office. 1.1452 0.05063 62 54 7 1
3916 Take these and if the hallucinations don't subside in 10 days, get back to me and we'll talk about the next steps. 1.1452 0.05063 62 54 7 1
3917 Don't worry. Nothing happened to me when I started taking these. 1.1452 0.05560 62 55 5 2
3918 It's just to maintain my anonymity while I soak you. 1.1452 0.04510 62 53 9 0
3919 And if you don't get to the end of the maze, you'll remain a mouse forever... 1.1452 0.06017 62 56 3 3
3920 Here take this. It’s your Get Out Of Jail Free card. 1.1452 0.05063 62 54 7 1
3921 I only wear this mask when I discuss fees 1.1452 0.05560 62 55 5 2
3922 Down the hall on the left and they'll give you a food pellet 1.1452 0.05063 62 54 7 1
3923 I assure you Mr. Banks, I tested it myself 1.1452 0.06017 62 56 3 3
3924 First we help you through the maze of healthcare, then we go for the cheese. 1.1452 0.05560 62 55 5 2
3925 But what they didn’t tell you are the off-uses for d-CON. 1.1452 0.04510 62 53 9 0
3926 No refills for you. 1.1452 0.04510 62 53 9 0
3927 Take this to the Anthill on 83rd Street and await further instruction 1.1452 0.04510 62 53 9 0
3928 Many people say they smell a rat while doing business with me, but that is just how I was born. 1.1452 0.04510 62 53 9 0
3929 Call me if you want some real problems. 1.1452 0.05560 62 55 5 2
3930 They are waiting for you in the lab. 1.1452 0.05063 62 54 7 1
3931 I don't know who you are or WHAT you are, but your hired! 1.1429 0.04987 63 55 7 1
3932 My extensive lab experience leads me to recommend this new trial drug. Let me know how it works out. 1.1429 0.04987 63 55 7 1
3933 Well, yes, it has been animal tested. 1.1429 0.04987 63 55 7 1
3934 I'm going to bite your face if you don't take this opioid prescription. 1.1429 0.05925 63 57 3 3
3935 I've been taking these smart pills since I was a lab rat in a maze, however, possible side effects include growing to 100 times normal size. 1.1429 0.04444 63 54 9 0
3936 I'me giving you a prescription for some special cheese you get only at the Crosstown Deli. Take two, small pieces tonight and drop back her to my office in the morning..... bring the cheese. 1.1429 0.04987 63 55 7 1
3937 Could you run to the deli on the corner and grab me a La Croix? The cat there doesn't like me. 1.1429 0.04987 63 55 7 1
3938 Take your first pill with cheese. Then take your second pill after running aimlessly on a large wheel. Lastly, take your third pill right before your fifth nap. 1.1429 0.04987 63 55 7 1
3939 Here—this will cure the condition that causes you to see the world through anti-Semitic tropes. 1.1429 0.04987 63 55 7 1
3940 This Rx will help you with you fantasies. 1.1429 0.04987 63 55 7 1
3941 These pills are medication therapy for your murophobia. I'm an expert in cures using desensitization therapy. 1.1429 0.04987 63 55 7 1
3942 They're pellets, but they're good. 1.1429 0.04987 63 55 7 1
3943 Meet me in the sewer under 7th Ave and you'll get your prescription. If you get lost call me. 1.1429 0.04987 63 55 7 1
3944 I want you to take this medication three times a day. I think you'll be pleasantly surprised....a lot of patients say it tastes like cheese! 1.1429 0.04444 63 54 9 0
3945 Here's a prescription. But many people nowadays live full lives with lychanthropy. 1.1429 0.04444 63 54 9 0
3946 Cheese! Lots of cheese. Then more cheese. 1.1429 0.04444 63 54 9 0
3947 Please read careful for risks and side-effects 1.1429 0.04444 63 54 9 0
3948 I need your health insurance card...not your social security card! 1.1429 0.05476 63 56 5 2
3949 Remember, only one pill a day or it will turn you into a Rat. 1.1429 0.04987 63 55 7 1
3950 Place two cheese tablets in a trap and try to take them in the morning. 1.1429 0.04987 63 55 7 1
3951 Take two of these and crawl me in the morning. 1.1333 0.05023 60 53 6 1
3952 Don't worry, this cheese diet is quite safe. I've tested it myself. 1.1333 0.05557 60 54 4 2
3953 They have a wide selection of heads, but the humans are generally unattractive. 1.1333 0.04426 60 52 8 0
3954 Just take it already! I finally got 200 year old cheddar and it’s about to get moldy! 1.1333 0.04426 60 52 8 0
3955 Dr. Vermin and I concur; this medication does not cause hallucinations. 1.1333 0.05023 60 53 6 1
3956 50/50, this prescription will either stop the hallucinations or turn you into a fox. 1.1333 0.05023 60 53 6 1
3957 This experimental medication still has a few kinks to work out, but take it from me that it will solve your indigestion. 1.1333 0.04426 60 52 8 0
3958 Take this with cheese and let me know if the side-effects get worse? 1.1333 0.05023 60 53 6 1
3959 I’ll feel better and you , too, if this helps stop you from catting around. 1.1333 0.04426 60 52 8 0
3960 Since you broke out of your cage, this slip instructs our researchers to put you in a stronger cage and start over. 1.1333 0.04426 60 52 8 0
3961 Trust me. It’s tested. 1.1333 0.04426 60 52 8 0
3962 I've had several family members take this. 1.1333 0.05023 60 53 6 1
3963 Trust me, they're not addictive. 1.1333 0.04426 60 52 8 0
3964 yeah i got your prescription right here. 80mg of absolute dick. yeah. bet you feel pretty stupid for making me run that maze so much, don't you dr gellert? 1.1333 0.05557 60 54 4 2
3965 This is a very special brie eat two ounces and call me in the morning. 1.1333 0.04426 60 52 8 0
3966 I smell a rat... 1.1333 0.04426 60 52 8 0
3967 Take one of these at bedtime. Not a long term solution, but will help you sleep until the indictments come. 1.1333 0.04426 60 52 8 0
3968 Don't worry...you don't get to keep your doctor" 1.1333 0.04426 60 52 8 0
3969 I know I look like a wolf but I'm not. 1.1333 0.05023 60 53 6 1
3970 Take two of these cheesy pellets and spread them on your living room floor and call me in the morning. 1.1333 0.04426 60 52 8 0
3971 Be sure to chew on the bottle after you're done with the medicine. 1.1333 0.05023 60 53 6 1
3972 So you think children should be in cages? Okay, buddy, I don't do this often, but I'm gonna write you a prescription for a brain. 1.1333 0.05023 60 53 6 1
3973 Believe me, this would be better with a public option. 1.1333 0.04426 60 52 8 0
3974 Your a rat in Doctor’s clothing! 1.1333 0.04426 60 52 8 0
3975 No, Dr. Weasel was not metaphorical. 1.1333 0.05023 60 53 6 1
3976 Don't worry, this prescription worked for me. 1.1333 0.05023 60 53 6 1
3977 ...so he say's, "Listen here, see! I'm not gonna take any more crap from a rat doctor like you!" and that was the end of him. 1.1333 0.05557 60 54 4 2
3978 Well, besides dog-tired, you do sound horse. 1.1333 0.05023 60 53 6 1
3979 It might be but a mouse on the table but I'm the rat that runs this business 1.1333 0.05023 60 53 6 1
3980 Take two bites of cheese, twice daily, with plenty of rest, and you'll be fine! 1.1333 0.04426 60 52 8 0
3981 Why did you sell the prescription refill that I gave to you!? 1.1333 0.05557 60 54 4 2
3982 These medications have been tested on real teddy bears. 1.1333 0.04426 60 52 8 0
3983 This is the fifth time you've visited my office about your airplane anxiety. Do you actually need this or do you just like staring into my beady eyes? 1.1333 0.05023 60 53 6 1
3984 You will need to take fur of these every morning. 1.1333 0.05023 60 53 6 1
3985 you can either get it treated now or wait until things are really bad for more sympathy 1.1333 0.05023 60 53 6 1
3986 Your credit card has been flagged...I need to turn you in. 1.1333 0.04426 60 52 8 0
3987 It'll end the hallucinations, but give me a call if that side effect lasts longer than four hours. 1.1333 0.05023 60 53 6 1
3988 It's a new drug but the lab research conducted and my sitting here has proved it quite effective 1.1333 0.05557 60 54 4 2
3989 This will eliminate your rodent phobia. 1.1333 0.04426 60 52 8 0
3990 I started off in a lab but worked hard and made something of myself. 1.1333 0.05023 60 53 6 1
3991 Oh, so now you claim you don't like cheese? 1.1333 0.05023 60 53 6 1
3992 I know you're anxious right now but I can assure you that the hen house is fine. 1.1333 0.05557 60 54 4 2
3993 Hey Donnie, I don't want your dirty money. 1.1333 0.04426 60 52 8 0
3994 Very effective drug - I tested it myself. 1.1333 0.04426 60 52 8 0
3995 Here is your prescription. Take two pieces of cheese for a week and call me in a week if you don’t feel better. 1.1333 0.04426 60 52 8 0
3996 Take 2 cheese balls and call me in the morning. 1.1333 0.05023 60 53 6 1
3997 Your pharmacist should be able to translate this. 1.1333 0.04426 60 52 8 0
3998 Fentanyl with cheese. Twice a day. 1.1333 0.05023 60 53 6 1
3999 I forgot to give this to your daughter for her birth control pills; it's our new Placebo-brand product. 1.1333 0.04426 60 52 8 0
4000 Opiods shmopiods, this is a prescription for weasel gene therapy, it's the latest new treatment & I get a trip to Hawaii if I sell 10 more prescriptions this month 1.1333 0.04426 60 52 8 0
4001 Never trust a hen with an MD- no one can read their chicken scratch anyways 1.1333 0.04426 60 52 8 0
4002 Helps reduce scabs. 1.1333 0.04426 60 52 8 0
4003 That was before Elizabeth Warren, so get used to it. 1.1333 0.04426 60 52 8 0
4004 Very affective on Canadian rats 1.1333 0.04426 60 52 8 0
4005 Look buddy it didnt kill me so relax, youre going to be as good as new in no time. 1.1333 0.04426 60 52 8 0
4006 It's your decision, but isn't keeping your blood pressure in check worth enduring side effects such as hallucinating that the people around you are rats? 1.1333 0.05023 60 53 6 1
4007 Take this once a day. Only once. 1.1333 0.05023 60 53 6 1
4008 Sorry I couldn't diagnose your shortness of breath, but here's a card for my brother's place that serves that yummy ratatouille I was raving about. 1.1333 0.04426 60 52 8 0
4009 Take two every four hours and come sniff me in the morning. 1.1333 0.05023 60 53 6 1
4010 I'm going to refer you to a more qualified rat fink 1.1333 0.04426 60 52 8 0
4011 I,m covered but your not, sorry 1.1333 0.05023 60 53 6 1
4012 Come on, Mr. Thompson, this is at the top of the Rx prescription list. Seven out of ten rodents recommend it. 1.1333 0.04426 60 52 8 0
4013 Take this. In six months you should look like the rest of us. 1.1333 0.04426 60 52 8 0
4014 It's a very safe drug. I take it myself. 1.1333 0.05557 60 54 4 2
4015 Oh yeah, that's really bad and you haven't even seen the bill yet. 1.1333 0.04426 60 52 8 0
4016 I think this should help with your fear. However, I'd like to remind you that I chose this tiny trackball for its outstanding ergonomic properties. 1.1333 0.05023 60 53 6 1
4017 This new clinical study will require you to solve a maze. 1.1333 0.04426 60 52 8 0
4018 Today's Thursday--I'm in sheep's clothing on Friday. 1.1333 0.05023 60 53 6 1
4019 I discovered that very few investors want their money managed by a kindly, old grandmother. 1.1333 0.05023 60 53 6 1
4020 Try it you'll like it - it helped me!!! 1.1333 0.05557 60 54 4 2
4021 A buy out on your trappings. 1.1333 0.05557 60 54 4 2
4022 This drug worked well for hallucinations in studies in mice 1.1333 0.05023 60 53 6 1
4023 No need to worry about side effects. I even take it myself. 1.1333 0.04426 60 52 8 0
4024 Sorry. We only treat gymnasts 1.1333 0.05023 60 53 6 1
4025 The only side effect of these pills is they may make you feel like you're a real doctor one day. 1.1333 0.04426 60 52 8 0
4026 Take two pills a day, get plenty of rest, and come back when you're edible. 1.1333 0.05557 60 54 4 2
4027 Unfortunately the Hippocratic Oath is too inconvenient for a doctor like me. 1.1333 0.04426 60 52 8 0
4028 OK, you've got the job, but I will expect a pound of cheese from you every Friday morning. 1.1333 0.04426 60 52 8 0
4029 Is that your cheese? 1.1333 0.04426 60 52 8 0
4030 Make yourself comfortable in a nice corner. Take as directed and in a few minutes your pain will be over. 1.1333 0.04426 60 52 8 0
4031 Yes, studies have shown that cheese really is effective in treating sciatica. 1.1333 0.05023 60 53 6 1
4032 I'm going to give you this prescription for some cheese to help you out. 1.1333 0.05023 60 53 6 1
4033 No more drugs for me, doc. The ones I'm on are working just fine. 1.1333 0.05023 60 53 6 1
4034 Now would your old friend ,Dr.Mongoose, give you something bad for your tummy? 1.1333 0.05023 60 53 6 1
4035 Your phobia isn't unusual. Check out our online therapy guide, and call me tomorrow for special new member financing. 1.1333 0.05023 60 53 6 1
4036 Be sure to floss after gnawing. 1.1333 0.04426 60 52 8 0
4037 I understand you're concerned about being in Baltimore; relax and take this low-cost Canadian Oxy covered under Obama Care. 1.1333 0.04426 60 52 8 0
4038 Take this and stop horsing around 1.1333 0.05023 60 53 6 1
4039 Would it kill you to take a bath? 1.1333 0.05023 60 53 6 1
4040 This prescription should keep you from smelling rats 1.1333 0.05023 60 53 6 1
4041 You can get this filled at the supermarket across the street, oh and they have free cheese displayed next to the pharmacy in the dairy section. 1.1333 0.04426 60 52 8 0
4042 You must avoid cheese, so bring me any you have left. 1.1333 0.04426 60 52 8 0
4043 I recommend a strict diet of cider. Should you need it, here is a prescription for chicken. 1.1333 0.04426 60 52 8 0
4044 This is for Coumadin... Trust me it's safe. 1.1333 0.04426 60 52 8 0
4045 'No I haven't got the plague.' 1.1333 0.05023 60 53 6 1
4046 Here, test this with your friends and let me know if it works. 1.1333 0.04426 60 52 8 0
4047 We are a multi-specialty, multi-cultural practice. 1.1333 0.04426 60 52 8 0
4048 "It appears you're suffering from hallucinations. I'm not even real. Here, we have a pill for that." 1.1333 0.04426 60 52 8 0
4049 It's for a maze. It gave me the inspiration to go to medical school. 1.1333 0.05023 60 53 6 1
4050 I call your condition 'beady eye syndrome.' This should make things right. 1.1333 0.04426 60 52 8 0
4051 I know a cheap plastic surgeon that can take care of your chin. 1.1333 0.04426 60 52 8 0
4052 Take two and call me tomorrow if your plague symptoms persist. 1.1333 0.05023 60 53 6 1
4053 Relax, I was an experimental subject in a top-ranked animal testing lab before I went to medical school. 1.1333 0.04426 60 52 8 0
4054 You wanna master gene splicer or what? 1.1333 0.05023 60 53 6 1
4055 I may look like a rat but believe me you need to trust me. 1.1333 0.04426 60 52 8 0
4056 Side effects? None - it's hardly human poison. 1.1333 0.05023 60 53 6 1
4057 Don't worry -- I never fleece my clients. 1.1333 0.05023 60 53 6 1
4058 You didn't expect that I would be British, did you, George? 1.1333 0.05023 60 53 6 1
4059 This drug will help you cope with the maze. 1.1333 0.04426 60 52 8 0
4060 Take two of these and don’t cull me in the morning 1.1333 0.05557 60 54 4 2
4061 Here's my card - call when you think your're ready, and remember - recovery is only six weeks. 1.1333 0.04426 60 52 8 0
4062 I must inform you, the radiation comes with some risk of mutation. 1.1311 0.04358 61 53 8 0
4063 This isn't a laughing matter. 1.1311 0.04358 61 55 5 1
4064 Please don't freak out, It's not rat poison 1.1311 0.04945 61 54 6 1
4065 We don't honor any card that has been used at a cat house. 1.1311 0.04358 61 53 8 0
4066 Here's the cheese receipt--it might be expensive, but in the future you shouldn't rat on others! 1.1311 0.05470 61 55 4 2
4067 Take three cubes of cheese three times a day. 1.1311 0.04945 61 54 6 1
4068 Don’t worry, I tested these myself. 1.1311 0.05470 61 55 4 2
4069 Trust me -- I’m listed first in the dictionary.” 1.1311 0.04945 61 53 6 1
4070 So you'll give me rat poison, but when I offer it to you... 1.1311 0.04945 61 54 6 1
4071 Don't look alarmed. I won. I am the rat race winner. 1.1311 0.05470 61 55 4 2
4072 Really it's the best prescription, I used to work in a lab. 1.1311 0.04358 61 53 8 0
4073 Don't worry I just write the scrips, I don't touch the pills. 1.1311 0.04358 61 53 8 0
4074 What's with the look? My PhD is just as good as an MD. 1.1311 0.04358 61 53 8 0
4075 Maybe you feel trapped but try some cheese. 1.1311 0.04358 61 53 8 0
4076 These should help to domesticate Milo. 1.1311 0.04945 61 54 6 1
4077 Let me prescribe these. I tested them myself. 1.1311 0.04358 61 53 8 0
4078 Trust me, dog spit will fix you right up, and its way cheaper than Xanax. 1.1311 0.04358 61 53 8 0
4079 this will help with that nose extension...I know you're going to love it! 1.1311 0.04945 61 54 6 1
4080 Take these twice a day. And avoid cheese for a while. 1.1311 0.04358 61 53 8 0
4081 Here are your results from the racial equality testing. While you are here in Baltimore, we are unable to treat you. It's better if you went back to wherever... 1.1311 0.04945 61 54 6 1
4082 Take two cheese cubes and call me in the morning. 1.1311 0.04945 61 54 6 1
4083 One way to survive this is to refuse all medications. That's how I got through med school... 1.1311 0.04945 61 54 6 1
4084 The plague was long ago, but I ask my patients to take these anyway. 1.1311 0.05470 61 55 4 2
4085 I recommend this prescription from experience. I used to work a blue collar job. 1.1311 0.05470 61 55 4 2
4086 Nurse, we're going to need some more ants for...uh...medical reasons 1.1311 0.04358 61 53 8 0
4087 If those cats cause any more trouble, you let me know. 1.1311 0.04945 61 54 6 1
4088 Here's the number of the guy I was talking about, in the event you 'Do" need stitches. 1.1311 0.04358 61 53 8 0
4089 Here, you try it. I am done experimenting. 1.1311 0.04358 61 53 8 0
4090 I assure you, the howls will clear up your identity disorder. 1.1311 0.04358 61 53 8 0
4091 I'll have you know I was first in my class...to reach the cheese! 1.1311 0.04945 61 54 6 1
4092 After you take the thorn out, these are for the pain. 1.1311 0.04945 61 54 6 1
4093 Two pills daily, three when the moon is full" 1.1311 0.04358 61 53 8 0
4094 A sheep in fox clothing? 1.1311 0.05470 61 55 4 2
4095 Just because it worked on your cousin doesn’t mean it will work on me. 1.1311 0.04358 61 52 8 0
4096 Here take this for a week, it worked for me. 1.1311 0.04358 61 53 8 0
4097 I've written a recommendation for a test group 1.1311 0.04358 61 53 8 0
4098 Thank you for not tweeting about your infestation, and to show our appreciation, here are a couple of tickets to a Baltimore Rats game. 1.1311 0.04945 61 54 6 1
4099 Ok, so we'll cut back to 6 milligrams a day, but if you have another episode I want you to call me immediately. 1.1311 0.04945 61 54 6 1
4100 iI's a $500 because you talked 2 minutes past your time. 1.1311 0.04358 61 53 8 0
4101 Look man, alls I'm sayin' is, if you change your mind, rat Viagra works just as good. 1.1311 0.04358 61 53 8 0
4102 You seem a little sheepish about filling this prescription. 1.1311 0.04358 61 53 8 0
4103 What do you mean you don’t trust me? 1.1311 0.04945 61 54 6 1
4104 Take two a day to relax. Trust me, rapid reproduction trumps regulation every time. 1.1311 0.04945 61 54 6 1
4105 Don't worry, I'm not prescribing what I took. 1.1311 0.04358 61 53 8 0
4106 Get this filled and take them. You will see better in a few days 1.1311 0.04945 61 54 6 1
4107 Trust me....this prescription has been tested on many of my family. 1.1311 0.05470 61 55 4 2
4108 If the drugs and alcohol don't kill ya, the medical bill will." 1.1311 0.04945 61 54 6 1
4109 I'm not a rat! 1.1311 0.04945 61 54 6 1
4110 Yes, this IS normal in Baltimore! 1.1311 0.04358 61 53 8 0
4111 What, you'll see a rat doctor but not take a rat's prescription? 1.1311 0.04945 61 54 6 1
4112 Oh yeah, this should clear it up eventually. But I should warn you, I'm not so good with keeping secrets. 1.1311 0.05470 61 55 4 2
4113 This and only this prescription will cure your problem – obviously, it worked for me. 1.1311 0.04358 61 53 8 0
4114 I’m afraid I need to report your bad behavior. 1.1311 0.04945 61 54 6 1
4115 Root thru 2 bags of garbage and scurry back tomorrow morning. 1.1311 0.04358 61 53 8 0
4116 I have cancer 1.1311 0.04945 61 54 6 1
4117 This prescription should make the hallucinations go away 1.1311 0.04358 61 53 8 0
4118 Why Yes I received my Doctorate at the University of Mouseketeer ‘s 1.1311 0.04945 61 54 6 1
4119 It’s your ticket to become a masked crusader too! 1.1311 0.04945 61 54 6 1
4120 Take this with five gulps of water. 1.1311 0.04358 61 53 8 0
4121 It all began after Trump's tweet about Baltimore! They found out we outnumbered the residents by so much, we were given the right to vote and our lot improved exponentially since then. I was able to go to medical school and moved to the burbs. 1.1311 0.04358 61 53 8 0
4122 Nibble one of these cheese pills every 15 minutes and your rat delusions will improve. 1.1311 0.04945 61 54 6 1
4123 These will make you feel young again, guaranteed! 1.1311 0.04358 61 53 8 0
4124 Yes, it's for warfarin. No, I wouldn't take it myself. 1.1311 0.05470 61 55 3 2
4125 Try it for a while. I think it'll do wonders for you. I use it myself. 1.1311 0.04358 61 53 8 0
4126 I don't give a rat's ass if you get this perscription, but better not accuse me of anything if you grt worse! 1.1311 0.04358 61 53 8 0
4127 This should help you kick ayahuasca. 1.1311 0.04358 61 53 8 0
4128 This should stop the huffing and puffing. 1.1311 0.04358 61 53 8 0
4129 Woof woof woof woof woof... call 911. 1.1311 0.04945 61 54 6 1
4130 Take two of these tonight and give me a howl in the morning. 1.1311 0.04358 61 53 8 0
4131 Take two subway stairs pizza slices and call me in the morning. 1.1311 0.04358 61 53 8 0
4132 Why continue this cat and mouse game, just trust me on my instincts! 1.1311 0.04945 61 54 6 1
4133 I’m prescribing you my family’s chosen antidepressant. It’s just eating literal garbage, but it somehow has less side effects than the pills we offer. 1.1311 0.04358 61 53 8 0
4134 I didn't say, 'control group'. I said, 'my control.' 1.1311 0.04945 61 54 6 1
4135 Take two of these at the full moon, and you'll be back to normal in no time. 1.1311 0.05470 61 55 4 2
4136 It’s all in your head. 1.1311 0.04945 61 54 6 1
4137 Face it! Soo you'll look as good as me 1.1311 0.04358 61 53 8 0
4138 Clinical trials are perfectly safe. So, do you want the green card or not? 1.1311 0.04945 61 54 6 1
4139 Here is a card for an Ear, Nose and Throat Doctor. He should be able to help smell a rat. 1.1311 0.04945 61 54 6 1
4140 It may seem outlandish, but eating dog poop works every time. 1.1311 0.04358 61 53 8 0
4141 Don't trap the mouse-enger, it's the claims department that has the rats. 1.1311 0.04945 61 54 6 1
4142 Now you give me the card for the nest you forage for. 1.1311 0.04945 61 54 6 1
4143 I generally prescribe rat poison for everything 1.1311 0.04358 61 53 8 0
4144 I guess I will see you soon...after you have seen your copay. 1.1311 0.04358 61 53 8 0
4145 Your operating table is ready 1.1311 0.04945 61 54 6 1
4146 Yes, it's for rat poison - what else did you expect I'd have access to? 1.1311 0.04358 61 53 8 0
4147 This prescription has been tested on subjects in my species. 1.1311 0.04945 61 54 6 1
4148 Doctor Fox can make from Lion a Frightened Dude 1.1311 0.04358 61 53 8 0
4149 I send a message, not just advice ! 1.1311 0.04945 61 54 6 1
4150 Take three pellets and call me in the morning. 1.1311 0.04945 61 54 6 1
4151 I got my M. D. at Purdue! You think I'm a rat? 1.1311 0.04945 61 54 6 1
4152 Many of my friends at the lab swear by this drug. 1.1311 0.04358 61 53 8 0
4153 Trust me- call me when you feel trapped ! 1.1311 0.04358 61 53 8 0
4154 Tell him the Lone Sniffer sent you 1.1311 0.04358 61 53 8 0
4155 Street prices!! 1.1311 0.04358 61 53 8 0
4156 Look- I went from lab rat to md. I think I know what I’m talking about. 1.1311 0.04358 61 53 8 0
4157 What? Absolutely not! Using CBD oil for your aches and pains won't turn you into a Ratafarian. 1.1311 0.04945 61 54 6 1
4158 You said this costs how much above ground? 1.1311 0.04945 61 54 6 1
4159 I use it myself 1.1311 0.04945 61 54 6 1
4160 Two pills a day - and never use the "ratface" option on Snapchat again! 1.1311 0.04358 61 53 8 0
4161 Look Mortimer, all us rats get something, nothing to be ashamed of, this will help... just take 18 a day, you’ll be fine. 1.1311 0.04945 61 54 6 1
4162 Here. Call me if you notice any unusual side effects. 1.1311 0.05470 61 55 4 2
4163 Here’s my card. 1.1311 0.04945 61 54 6 1
4164 This 'Ratsative' should help you feel better. 1.1290 0.04292 62 54 8 0
4165 Don't look at me like a rat, this will devour up to 80% of your generic prescription bill 1.1290 0.04869 62 55 6 1
4166 If your symptoms improve I get a food pellet. 1.1228 0.04386 57 50 7 0
4167 If this comes back on you, I will deny everything. 1.1228 0.04386 57 50 7 0
4168 This is a list of items I don't want in the office. Number 1 - Big CATS 1.1228 0.05050 57 51 5 1
4169 Take two and remember, don't Fennec. 1.1228 0.04386 57 50 7 0
4170 Okay, but Low T is the least of your worries. 1.1228 0.05050 57 51 5 1
4171 This will replace your previous prescription. Hopefully, this should do away with those nasty hallucinations. 1.1228 0.04386 57 50 7 0
4172 Here is a little something for the pain in the meantime, but we're going to have to run some further expiremen- er, tests. 1.1228 0.04386 57 50 7 0
4173 Take this prescription down the hall, turn right, and then left. 1.1228 0.04386 57 50 7 0
4174 Write your answer to this question ... *Which is better ... to be infested by rats, or to be one?* " 1.1228 0.05050 57 51 5 1
4175 Yes, unfortunately for you the plague is still around. Here's the number of a lawyer to help you get your affairs in order. 1.1228 0.05050 57 51 5 1
4176 I guarantee, this will make you feel foxier. 1.1228 0.04386 57 50 7 0
4177 Actually, that would be good card trick for a human or a rat” 1.1228 0.05050 57 50 5 1
4178 Here's your prescription. Now call me if you start seeing anything unusual. 1.1228 0.04386 57 50 7 0
4179 Take two of these new drugs and call me in the morning. 1.1228 0.05050 57 51 5 1
4180 Monday, 9am for intelligence lab tests. 1.1228 0.04386 57 50 7 0
4181 dont look so shocked, its a side effect from working at a drug company 1.1228 0.04386 57 50 7 0
4182 This cured my side eye with only minot sideeffects.f 1.1228 0.05050 57 51 5 1
4183 Trust me, this will do wonders for your felinophobia 1.1228 0.04386 57 50 7 0
4184 Here, it’s the latest “Old Town Road” remix. 1.1228 0.05050 57 51 5 1
4185 I'm what you get with Medicare for All, Bernie. 1.1228 0.05050 57 51 5 1
4186 Don't worry, your skin disease is benevolent. 1.1228 0.05050 57 51 5 1
4187 Listen you Schmuck! This is a rat race and you either take the pills, or you'll be running the maze for the rest of your life! 1.1228 0.05050 57 51 5 1
4188 The nausea should go away if you eat some trash before bedtime and chase it down with water. 1.1228 0.05636 57 52 3 2
4189 Dude! I don’t give a rat's ass about “conflicting prescriptions!” Well, in that case, allow me to prescribe you some “rat's ass.” 1.1228 0.04386 57 50 7 0
4190 Dozens of offspring in lab tests around the country are raving about this stuff. 1.1228 0.05050 57 51 5 1
4191 You need to get this to your pharmacy as fast as you can. It's not that you have a life-threatening condition. It's that you're scaring away my staff and patients. 1.1228 0.04386 57 50 7 0
4192 Here is your v 1.1228 0.04386 57 50 7 0
4193 If I were you, I wouldn't worry so much about the side-effects. 1.1228 0.04386 57 50 7 0
4194 Sir, I will prescribe you this medication, but be careful. It is known to make people hallucinate." "Don't worry doc, I have had it before 1.1228 0.05050 57 51 5 1
4195 Definitely not the plague, but either rat fever or rat-bite fever. 1.1228 0.05050 57 51 5 1
4196 Before we start, would you care for a slice of cheese? 1.1228 0.05050 57 51 5 1
4197 Eat three cheese squares and call me in the morning. 1.1228 0.05050 57 51 5 1
4198 No Humans were harmed when testing this Medication... 1.1228 0.04386 57 50 7 0
4199 This will make you lazy and slovenly, so take 2, and my friends and I will be there in the morning to eat the mess. 1.1228 0.05050 57 51 5 1
4200 Fill this prescription now, then take one every time you eat, and don’t forget to say “Eek-Eek.” 1.1228 0.05050 57 51 5 1
4201 I'M not crazy -- YOU'RE the one in here for psychiatric meds! 1.1228 0.04386 57 50 7 0
4202 Besides that, what do you think about my new mustache? 1.1228 0.05050 57 51 5 1
4203 I’m prescribing this molded chunk of discarded Gouda, works wonders for eradicating the sense of existential void. 1.1228 0.04386 57 50 7 0
4204 Here is a prescription for a digital visual adjustment. You seem to have an obsession with your "mouse" 1.1228 0.04386 57 50 7 0
4205 Thanks for seeing a cheese specialist... here are the supplements you can take to deal with your lactose intolerance. 1.1228 0.05050 57 51 5 1
4206 What so now you just 'huffed' and 'puffed' and blew my health insurance away? 1.1228 0.05050 57 51 5 1
4207 Don't be scared. I just don't want to identified in the lineup. 1.1228 0.05050 57 51 5 1
4208 I am prescribing "Take two rabbits and go to bed 1.1228 0.05050 57 51 5 1
4209 Don’t listen to those ads It’s a trap I should know. 1.1228 0.05050 57 51 5 1
4210 Oh come on.... you ...you....you dirty rat “ 1.1228 0.04386 57 50 7 0
4211 Take this before meals, avoid cats, and if you must eat cheese from traps, do it carefully. 1.1228 0.05050 57 51 5 1
4212 I don't give a rat's a__ if you don't use this prescription. If you want bug eyes that's your decision. 1.1228 0.05050 57 51 5 1
4213 I'll trade you this prescription for medical marijuana for a pound of cheese. 1.1228 0.05050 57 51 5 1
4214 Spray each cat twice daily till they’re all gone. 1.1228 0.04386 57 50 7 0
4215 Do I seem like a wolf in cheap clothing? 1.1228 0.05050 57 51 5 1
4216 Here's the number of an optometrist friend of mine. 1.1228 0.04386 57 50 7 0
4217 This is supposed to work, but it’s plagued with side effects.... 1.1228 0.04386 57 50 7 0
4218 This prescription I'm writing out for you will cure you of your notion that I'm a rat. 1.1228 0.05050 57 51 5 1
4219 Take two a day and you'll feel great, even if you know you're a rat. 1.1228 0.05050 57 51 5 1
4220 I don’t give this to just anyone. How 1.1228 0.05050 57 51 5 1
4221 ...but if you're looking to win the rat race, here's my card. 1.1228 0.05050 57 51 5 1
4222 In my experience you take it three times a day for two years and then we will decide if it works or if it will kill you. 1.1228 0.05050 57 51 5 1
4223 Here's your prescription for rat-filtering glasses. 1.1228 0.04386 57 50 7 0
4224 You'll be amazed at what this can do for you! 1.1228 0.04386 57 50 7 0
4225 A few drops of this in your water dispenser and you'll be back on the wheel in no time. 1.1228 0.04386 57 50 7 0
4226 Why yes the Black Plague is still quite common in this area. 1.1228 0.05050 57 50 5 1
4227 Let’s see if this works. 1.1207 0.04315 58 51 7 0
4228 Take two mice a day, and call me if you start running around in circles 1.1207 0.04967 58 52 5 1
4229 Take this to the nearest Baltimore pharmacy! 1.1207 0.04967 58 52 5 1
4230 Does it work? I won the maze and it got me through med school. 1.1207 0.04967 58 52 5 1
4231 A prescription to live in Baltimore “ 1.1207 0.04315 58 51 7 0
4232 squeak, squeak, squeak! 1.1207 0.04315 58 51 7 0
4233 Take this. It makes rats smarter 1.1207 0.04315 58 51 7 0
4234 You’re next 1.1207 0.04315 58 51 7 0
4235 I've prescribed you some alternative protein. 1.1111 0.04317 54 48 6 0
4236 Not too many side effects if I recall correctly from my test days. 1.1111 0.04317 54 48 6 0
4237 I regret to say, Mr. Cagney, if I'd washed my hands before performing the surgery, your sister-in-law would not be a widow. 1.1111 0.04317 54 48 6 0
4238 Its an Rx for cheese. 10 million rodents can't be wrong.... 1.1111 0.04317 54 48 6 0
4239 And if this doesn't work, try chewing on a bar of soap. 1.1111 0.04317 54 48 6 0
4240 We just can't seem to figure out why your eyes are popping out of your head like that, but my sponsors suggest Xanax may be the remedy." 1.1111 0.05062 54 49 4 1
4241 Here's your prescription. Works great. I use it myself but it has one unfortunate side effect. 1.1111 0.04317 54 48 6 0
4242 You're not lactose intolerant are you? 1.1111 0.05062 54 49 4 1
4243 Here I,'m giving you this coupon for ice cream it's a gift saying "we are sorry you are no welcome because you ears GET OUT 1.1111 0.05711 54 50 2 2
4244 To control the infestation, put two of these by each bunk bed and wash your hands afterward. 1.1111 0.05062 54 49 4 1
4245 I was once in your position. No more! 1.1111 0.04317 54 48 6 0
4246 It’s ‘Dr. Pizza Rat’ to you. 1.1111 0.05062 54 49 4 1
4247 Take this exactly as directed or you may have hallucinations. 1.1111 0.05062 54 49 4 1
4248 We can meet in the woods. Wear your red hood. 1.1111 0.04317 54 48 6 0
4249 what do you MEAN you won’t participate in animal trials. take the script! 1.1111 0.05062 54 49 4 1
4250 It's your ass, not mine. 1.1111 0.04317 54 48 6 0
4251 Bob, not all rats are chefs. Some of us chose medicine. Stop asking if I can cook as well. Here’s your prescription for Olanzapine 1.1111 0.04317 54 48 6 0
4252 Here is a referral. My insurance does not cover that. 1.1111 0.04317 54 48 6 0
4253 Your species tends to have anxiety problems. Take one of these daily with a bowl of milk. 1.1111 0.04317 54 48 6 0
4254 Arsenic? 1.1111 0.05062 54 49 4 1
4255 Here is my Rat Race Card. Now get out of my office! 1.1111 0.05062 54 49 4 1
4256 Sure, you may find lower prices of this elsewhere, but those won't give the patient a baritone whiny or enable her to accept the bridle as easily. 1.1111 0.05062 54 49 4 1
4257 I didn’t spend all that time in mazes just to be a blue collar worker. 1.1111 0.05062 54 49 4 1
4258 My, what acute metabolic syndrome you have! 1.1111 0.04317 54 48 6 0
4259 I'm proud to say that my recently deceased family and I were in the study that evaluated the effectiveness of this medication. 1.1111 0.04317 54 48 6 0
4260 Trust me, dude; you can't lose with the stuff I use! 1.1111 0.04317 54 48 6 0
4261 I swear I didn´t tell anyone about your cancer! Guess we have a rat in here... 1.1111 0.04317 54 48 6 0
4262 Take these, but only one at a time..” 1.1111 0.04317 54 48 6 0
4263 This drug saved my wife’s life when she was part of a lab experiment. 1.1111 0.04317 54 48 6 0
4264 Take two of these and stay away from cheese! 1.1111 0.05062 54 49 4 1
4265 This is less a cure for you and more of f a completion of human testing for me. 1.1111 0.04317 54 48 6 0
4266 Here is the prescription, use with caution. 1.1111 0.04317 54 48 6 0
4267 Take my card.... the LITTLE RED RIDING HOOD thing,it never happened. 1.1111 0.04317 54 48 6 0
4268 As I personally discovered, there are side effects. 1.1111 0.04317 54 48 6 0
4269 Say’s here you’re musophobic. What kind of person is afraid of music? 1.1111 0.05062 54 49 4 1
4270 So the kid goes like, "What chair, man?", cracker? 1.1111 0.04317 54 48 6 0
4271 The thing is that you have cancer... The good news is we can "cure" it if you wire 200 grand to this account! 1.1111 0.05062 54 49 4 1
4272 You have nothing to worry about. I was not only top of my medical class 1.1111 0.04317 54 48 6 0
4273 This medication is a-maze-ing! 1.1111 0.04317 54 48 6 0
4274 This is a clinical trial with some side effects like perceptions of deceit. You feeling anything at all should go away after a dose or two. 1.1111 0.04317 54 48 6 0
4275 It's always in the cards! 1.1111 0.04317 54 48 6 0
4276 Take this to the hardware store. 1.1111 0.04317 54 48 6 0
4277 Forget about you co-pay. What I really need to know is do you have any pizza? 1.1111 0.04317 54 48 6 0
4278 These pills should help you sleep. Personally, I prefer curling up with a good book ... I like to chew on the covers. 1.1111 0.05062 54 49 4 1
4279 Don’t worry, the side effects of vaccines are unlikely. 1.1111 0.04317 54 48 6 0
4280 Take two of these and squeak me in the morning. 1.1111 0.04317 54 48 6 0
4281 You'll need this if you don't want the plague. 1.1111 0.04317 54 48 6 0
4282 They've moved from my ears to my nose. 1.1111 0.05062 54 49 4 1
4283 It’s for a new drug that guarantees you stop imagining rodents ruling the world. 1.1111 0.04317 54 48 6 0
4284 Squeak, squeak, squeak, squeak (Q.I.D.).... or squeak, squeak, squeak (T.I.D.)... and squeak, squeak, squeak (Q.A.M.) 1.1111 0.04317 54 48 6 0
4285 I went and got us a village. Now let's have a Wooly Mammoth heir, M'Lady. 1.1111 0.05062 54 49 4 1
4286 Here's your viagra prescription, you dirty rat. 1.1111 0.05062 54 49 4 1
4287 Nah, I fell for that last dream 1.1111 0.05062 54 49 4 1
4288 Here's your prescription. And again, there are no known side effects or adverse reactions. 1.1111 0.04317 54 48 6 0
4289 I know this drug works, I tested it on myself". 1.1111 0.05062 54 49 4 1
4290 This should help with the huffing and puffing 1.1111 0.05062 54 49 4 1
4291 Try these pellets. They did wonders for me. 1.1111 0.04317 54 48 6 0
4292 No,my long hair doesn't mean I'm a ratstafarian,any more than you're from Long Island. 1.1111 0.04317 54 48 6 0
4293 No mousing around; did you realistically think that I would accept a bill from you? I frankly don’t care how many diplomas you have on the wall behind you! 1.1111 0.05711 54 50 2 2
4294 Word to the wise. No cracks about the cheese in break room fridge. 1.1111 0.04317 54 48 6 0
4295 Take one of these and capsules and it should give you the courage to buy one of our masks and keep the big,bad girls away from your door. 1.1111 0.04317 54 48 6 0
4296 What? You have a problem with me being a rodent? I'll let you know that I scurried my way to the top of my medical school class! 1.1111 0.04317 54 48 6 0
4297 This should temper the hallucinations. 1.1111 0.04317 54 48 6 0
4298 It's quite confrontational, but it might just do the trick with this fear of dogs of yours. 1.1111 0.04317 54 48 6 0
4299 Oh, come on—who wouldn't want an ear grown on their back? 1.1111 0.04317 54 48 6 0
4300 Here's a little meds combo I call 'Reincarnation Roulette'. 1.1111 0.04317 54 48 6 0
4301 This drug saved my sister’s life and it just might work for you. 1.1111 0.05062 54 49 4 1
4302 2 a day and you should be back to your old self in no time. 1.1111 0.05062 54 49 4 1
4303 When “Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles” ended I decided to go to med school. Anyway, do you want the Adderall prescription or not? 1.1111 0.04317 54 48 6 0
4304 Don't be alarmed; I'm wearing a mask because of my cold. 1.1111 0.05062 54 49 4 1
4305 Here’s your fentanyl scrip. Please pay me before you OD. 1.1111 0.04317 54 48 6 0
4306 My professional advice is to stop eating garbage, it hasn't done me any favors. 1.1111 0.04317 54 48 6 0
4307 So the guy says, "A horse walks into a bar and asks for a drink" and at that point I'm already lost. I mean, a talking horse? Anyways, I'm blabbering. Here's your prescription. Call me in a week, if the hallucinations persist. 1.1111 0.04317 54 48 6 0
4308 This prescription isn't covered, so just take one pill when your are about to die. 1.1111 0.04317 54 48 6 0
4309 Here’s your prescription to beat the rat race 1.1111 0.04317 54 48 6 0
4310 The Lab Rat takeover. 1.1111 0.04317 54 48 6 0
4311 It's perfectly safe. I tested it myself. 1.1111 0.05062 54 49 4 1
4312 Call my direct line immediately if the pain increases, or if you find any cheese lying around. 1.1111 0.04317 54 48 6 0
4313 This will surely help u. Jack irack@aol.com 1.1111 0.05062 54 49 4 1
4314 Given the particular itch you've described, I recommend you call my colleague, Dr. Gerbil. 1.1111 0.04317 54 48 6 0
4315 Don't take too much, it can cause ulcers 1.1111 0.04317 54 48 6 0
4316 Take this twice a day for a week and if the cats are still bothering you...I have alternate methods. 1.1111 0.05062 54 49 4 1
4317 Relax, even I take it twice a day. 1.1111 0.04317 54 48 6 0
4318 hey are you holding? 1.1111 0.05062 54 49 4 1
4319 Take these daily for three weeks. They turn you into whatever you really are. 1.1111 0.05062 54 49 4 1
4320 It's time to return the favor--it's an experimental drug. 1.1111 0.04317 54 48 6 0
4321 Trust me, this prescription is not rat poison. 1.1111 0.04317 54 48 6 0
4322 Honestly theirs more to me then meets the eye. 1.1111 0.04317 54 48 6 0
4323 not a prescription per se, but I urge you to eat more Cheez-Its" 1.1091 0.04973 55 50 4 1
4324 I've invited several colleagues to examine you tonight at 8 in the clearing in the forest. Have some form of I.D. on you. 1.0980 0.04205 51 46 5 0
4325 Four our of five rat doctors swear by it. Trust me. 1.0980 0.04205 51 46 5 0
4326 Try this CBD. No, not Central Business District! 1.0980 0.04205 51 46 5 0
4327 I snorted "Hair Grow for Noses". You want prescription? 1.0980 0.04205 51 46 5 0
4328 W never use less than 100 humans in our control group." 1.0980 0.04205 51 46 5 0
4329 This is a 30 day prescription. And don't try to weasel a bigger supply out of Me again." 1.0980 0.04205 51 46 5 0
4330 Cheddar, twice daily. Make sure that you take it with crackers if on an empty stomach. 1.0980 0.04205 51 46 5 0
4331 Here's where I got my mask. 1.0980 0.04205 51 46 5 0
4332 For the generic blood thinner d-Con. Throw away the bait station. 1.0980 0.04205 51 45 5 0
4333 It’s only poisonous to Rats 1.0980 0.04205 51 46 5 0
4334 Wait - did you say you were allergic to cheese? 1.0980 0.04205 51 46 5 0
4335 Take this to the second dumpster on the right. They can fill it right away. 1.0980 0.04205 51 46 5 0
4336 You need to take this with food...the apartment building next door puts their trash on the curb around 9:30. 1.0980 0.04205 51 46 5 0
4337 Don't worry, you can afford this prescription if you work three more jobs and never sleep again! 1.0962 0.04128 52 47 5 0
4338 „This will make You see white mice instead.“ 1.0833 0.04031 48 44 4 0
4339 B’more! 1.0833 0.05830 48 46 0 2
4340 This prescription will make your cat stop biting, side affects will include sluggishness and an increased mouse population. 1.0833 0.04031 48 44 4 0
4341 This helped change me; I suggest you take it. 1.0833 0.04031 48 44 4 0
4342 The rat race is not good for you health. Believe me, I know. 1.0833 0.04031 48 44 4 0
4343 HOWL, MAY I HELP YOU? 1.0833 0.04031 48 44 4 0
4344 DRATS 1.0833 0.04031 48 44 4 0
4345 hold on dr rat, don't YOU carry the plague???!!!! 1.0833 0.04031 48 44 4 0
4346 Take two of these a day, I take them myself and have seen a real change in my outlook. 1.0833 0.04031 48 44 4 0
4347 What? You were expecting something from a pharmacy? It’s my cousin’s pizza joint. 1.0833 0.04031 48 44 4 0
4348 You're diagnosis is complete. As are you. 1.0833 0.05012 48 45 2 1
4349 Of course, I'm a real doctor. I finished #1 in veterinary medicine. 1.0833 0.04031 48 44 4 0
4350 Don't worry. I won't tell anyone what I prescribed you. 1.0833 0.05012 48 45 2 1
4351 Are the symptoms more severe during full-moon? 1.0833 0.05012 48 45 2 1
4352 Well, it worked just fine on one of my brothers. 1.0833 0.04031 48 44 4 0
4353 The blood sample won't hurt a bit. 1.0833 0.04031 48 44 4 0
4354 William Kotzwinkle owns a lot to this prescription. 1.0833 0.04031 48 44 4 0
4355 Relax. In a few days you'll start feeling like you're Brad Pitt...even though you'll look like Bela Lugosi. 1.0833 0.04031 48 44 4 0
4356 Don’t forget to this after you finish your spin! 1.0833 0.05012 48 45 2 1
4357 Um, Dr Ratnick, a prescription for Opioids? 1.0833 0.04031 48 44 4 0
4358 Take two of these. Your bark should be back in the morning. 1.0833 0.04031 48 44 4 0
4359 Every time you start to feel anxious, I want you to take two doses of the domestic Swiss I've prescribed. My colleagues swear by it. 1.0833 0.05012 48 45 2 1
4360 I can't help you I'm afraid. But's here's the card of my colleague. His eyes aren't quite so beady. 1.0833 0.05012 48 45 2 1
4361 This should help you look at me as I am and the world as is. 1.0833 0.05012 48 45 2 1
4362 You forgot to say cheese? 1.0833 0.04031 48 44 4 0
4363 Good news...you've be infested. 1.0833 0.04031 48 44 4 0
4364 It’s rejected... 1.0833 0.04031 48 44 4 0
4365 Your co-pay on your way out will be three wheels of cheese. 1.0833 0.04031 48 44 4 0
4366 These are safe, I tried them on myself. 1.0833 0.04031 48 44 4 0
4367 My Dr. Fink, what a big nose you have! 1.0833 0.04031 48 44 4 0
4368 Tell them Dr. At sent you 1.0833 0.04031 48 44 4 0
4369 Here's a refill on that rat poi- I mean, sedative. 1.0833 0.04031 48 44 4 0
4370 My wife! Tell her I went to get cigarettes. I am doing magic with the butt. 1.0833 0.04031 48 44 4 0
4371 The dose makes the medicine... 1.0833 0.04031 48 44 4 0
4372 I know you'll keep an eye out for any adverse reactions. 1.0833 0.04031 48 44 4 0
4373 Take the number. I promise you, he’s not from Baltimore. 1.0833 0.04031 48 44 4 0
4374 That's how homeopathy works, pal. If you want this recalcitrant case of murophobia cured once and for all, you need to take the poison. 1.0833 0.04031 48 44 4 0
4375 Move to Canada or I call your HMO 1.0833 0.04031 48 44 4 0
4376 IT'S A RECIPE FOR TOSSED-INTERACTIVE-SIDE-EFFECTS-SALAD DRESSING 1.0833 0.04031 48 44 4 0
4377 Let’s try this Rx for 90 days. Some minor contraindications but nothing serious. 1.0833 0.05012 48 45 2 1
4378 It has been tested on lab rats and it was found that it causes cancer, but hell you're not a lab rat. 1.0833 0.04031 48 44 4 0
4379 I've taken this for years without any side effects. 1.0833 0.04031 48 44 4 0
4380 You asked for a new look. So, here’s your prescription for how to shine a turd . 1.0833 0.04031 48 44 4 0
4381 This is Baltimore and I understand your need for anxiety medications. 1.0833 0.04031 48 44 4 0
4382 Have this filled fast before the next full moon. 1.0833 0.05012 48 45 2 1
4383 These will take care of the real problem, plus they smell and taste just like peanut butter! 1.0833 0.04031 48 44 4 0
4384 Here, try this. 1.0833 0.04031 48 44 4 0
4385 There’s something about you that stirs my confidence in you. 1.0833 0.04031 48 44 4 0
4386 Maybe you have been sowing too many wild oats. 1.0833 0.04031 48 44 4 0
4387 I'll see you again in three weeks. In the meantime take this twice a day. It will make you juicier. 1.0833 0.04031 48 44 4 0
4388 Eat two locusts and call me in the morning. 1.0833 0.04031 48 44 4 0
4389 You may find side effects to be particularly pronounced during a full moon. 1.0833 0.04031 48 44 4 0
4390 Trust me. This rabies prescription works. 1.0833 0.04031 48 44 4 0
4391 We don’t treat too many human beings here in Baltimore 1.0833 0.04031 48 44 4 0
4392 I personally guarantee from personal experience, that this stuff will work. 1.0833 0.04031 48 44 4 0
4393 It works in mice... 1.0833 0.04031 48 44 4 0
4394 No! The list of side effects does not include hallucinations. 1.0833 0.04031 48 44 4 0
4395 Take two before the next lunar zenith. 1.0833 0.04031 48 44 4 0
4396 Give this to your pharmacist. And please, no rat’s ass jokes! 1.0833 0.04031 48 44 4 0
4397 I’ll have you know I was first in my class at RAT. 1.0833 0.04031 48 44 4 0
4398 I think this should help with your fear. However, I'd like to remind you that I chose this particular trackball due to its outstanding ergonomic properties. 1.0833 0.04031 48 44 4 0
4399 Listen! I'm NOT gonna rat you out! 1.0833 0.04031 48 44 4 0
4400 Here's your prescription. Next time you come in could you bring a little garbage with you? 1.0833 0.05012 48 45 2 1
4401 no worries, we have done this for decades. 1.0833 0.05012 48 45 2 1
4402 You're so terrified of your grandmother whenever you come to see me, so here's a referral for a psych eval by the Grimm Brothers. 1.0833 0.04031 48 44 4 0
4403 Dr Ratosky. Just got promoted from clinical trials. 1.0833 0.04031 48 44 4 0
4404 I think you've lived in Baltimore a little too long. You're imagining things.. 1.0833 0.04031 48 44 4 0
4405 I am telling you, I used to be just like you. What does the card say? 1.0833 0.04031 48 44 4 0
4406 It worked on me, now let’s see if it works on you. 1.0833 0.04031 48 44 4 0
4407 It is an antidote for human poison. Do not look so disgusted, you used similar stuff on us for years. 1.0833 0.04031 48 44 4 0
4408 This Dr. shopping is getting out of control! 1.0833 0.04031 48 44 4 0
4409 Compare this new Rodent All Inclusive Prescription Card to Medicare's Plan! It's inexpensive and accepted World-Wide! Bon Voyage!!! 1.0833 0.04031 48 44 4 0
4410 Trust me, this dumpster has some of the best garbage. 1.0833 0.05012 48 45 2 1
4411 This should handle your hallucinating. 1.0833 0.04031 48 44 4 0
4412 The only side effects they found in clinical trials was gigantism and an acute ability to feign intelligence. 1.0833 0.04031 48 44 4 0
4413 Cheese, I often prescribe it for myself 1.0833 0.04031 48 44 4 0
4414 Trust me, I invented this in my own lab 1.0833 0.04031 48 44 4 0
4415 Here, take my card. Otherwise, I'll huff and I'll puff, and I'll blow your house down. 1.0833 0.04031 48 44 4 0
4416 Cheese, twice daily? Really? 1.0833 0.04031 48 44 4 0
4417 Your eyes mom's face an curly fries. 1.0833 0.04031 48 44 4 0
4418 No, Mr. Burns, it's simply a Rat-inol dysfunction. Use these drops twice a day for two weeks and you'll be fine. Oh, and be sure to stay away from cats. 1.0833 0.05012 48 45 2 1
4419 To be honest, my real dream was to be a veterinarian with a small animal practice on Old McDonald’s farm. 1.0833 0.04031 48 44 4 0
4420 Trust me! These pills won't hurt you. I've been taking them for years. 1.0833 0.04031 48 44 4 0
4421 None of the other doctors could cure my lactose intolerance so I came to the expert. 1.0833 0.04031 48 44 4 0
4422 Trust me, with enough doses of cheese, you'll feel much better. 1.0833 0.04031 48 44 4 0
4423 Excuse my handwriting, I'm left handed. 1.0833 0.04031 48 44 4 0
4424 Please don´t call it a "mouse". We prefer "pointer". 1.0833 0.04031 48 44 4 0
4425 Let's get you back in tonight about dinner time! 1.0833 0.04031 48 44 4 0
4426 And take these to calm your epiphanies. 1.0833 0.04031 48 44 4 0
4427 It's the ace of cheese, right? 1.0833 0.04031 48 44 4 0
4428 This is a prescription for musophobia. 1.0833 0.04031 48 44 4 0
4429 We are going to give this pill only because you are invasive" 1.0833 0.04031 48 44 4 0
4430 The experiment was successful. 1.0816 0.03952 49 45 4 0
4431 Hmm, you're having delusions that your wife is a funny looking animal? Take two of these in the morning. 1.0667 0.03761 45 42 3 0
4432 Take these and you'll forget you were ever a cast member of the musical "Cats". 1.0667 0.03761 45 42 3 0
4433 Stop writing nonsense letters on the floor 1.0667 0.03761 45 42 3 0
4434 You're study participant number 26. 1.0667 0.03761 45 42 3 0
4435 A grandmother a day will keep the doctor away! 1.0667 0.03761 45 42 3 0
4436 This should clear up the excessive nasal hair. 1.0667 0.03761 45 42 3 0
4437 Take two fleas and call me in the morning. 1.0667 0.03761 45 42 3 0
4438 Im giving you an opioid prescription.Don't rat me out. 1.0667 0.03761 45 42 3 0
4439 Take two JT Eaton 166004 709-PN Bait Block Rodenticide Anticoagulant Bait, Peanut Butter Flavor, and call me in the morning. 1.0667 0.03761 45 42 3 0
4440 No, I experiment on you! 1.0667 0.03761 45 42 3 0
4441 I'm the new image repair hire for Baltimore. 1.0667 0.03761 45 42 3 0
4442 Here’s your prescription for your condition, it should cure your “Baltimore fetish”. 1.0667 0.03761 45 42 3 0
4443 Here, this prescription will take help care of those bites 1.0667 0.03761 45 42 3 0
4444 Take these. Your face should clear up within the week. 1.0667 0.03761 45 42 3 0
4445 What a coincidence that we’re both vets! 1.0667 0.03761 45 42 3 0
4446 Call my cousin he dean. He's turned mice into rats before. 1.0667 0.03761 45 42 3 0
4447 They call me Dr.Rat thank you. 1.0667 0.03761 45 42 3 0
4448 You can never be sure, but I'm going with musophobia for now, see you in 2 weeks and we'll start treatment. Plus, here you go - my secretary scored a bunch of coupons for a lovely cheddar special they're running at Trader Joe's. 1.0667 0.03761 45 42 3 0
4449 Take this as needed whenever you're tempted to place your head in a trap. 1.0667 0.03761 45 42 3 0
4450 Test Kitchen or Milk Street? 1.0667 0.03761 45 42 3 0
4451 Remember to take it under a full moon. 1.0667 0.03761 45 42 3 0
4452 Today your mind. Tomorrow the World! 1.0667 0.03761 45 42 3 0
4453 The tests were only on humans...but you're a human. 1.0667 0.03761 45 42 3 0
4454 Take a block of yellow cheese with your meal every day and you'll be fine in no time. Trust me I used to work in a lab. 1.0667 0.03761 45 42 3 0
4455 Yes, just take two and bite a hose while dying painfully. 1.0667 0.03761 45 42 3 0
4456 It’s the most amazing cure. 1.0667 0.03761 45 42 3 0
4457 I know I look intimidating, but underneath this facade, I'm rather sheepish. 1.0667 0.04924 45 43 1 1
4458 Man: This is just a prescription for a divorce. Rat: You know, I never gave a rat's ass about you, but I certainly gave one to your wife. 1.0667 0.03761 45 42 3 0
4459 I know you've been taking this for fifty years, but trust me. I'm your Doctor. It works. 1.0667 0.03761 45 42 3 0
4460 I take these and look, I’m as healthy as a jackal. 1.0667 0.03761 45 42 3 0
4461 I want you to drag a couple of pizzas home by your teeth and call me in the morning. 1.0667 0.03761 45 42 3 0
4462 This will cure your nasty habit of saying “I’ll be RIGHT back!” 1.0667 0.03761 45 42 3 0
4463 Ok, this'd just cost you a roll of cheese. 1.0667 0.03761 45 42 3 0
4464 Trust me, you need rat poison antidote! 1.0667 0.03761 45 42 3 0
4465 No matter how hard you try, there are some things that even rats won't do. 1.0667 0.03761 45 42 3 0
4466 Take two, and cry for me in the morning. 1.0667 0.03761 45 42 3 0
4467 Please, try not to rat me out if this prescription makes you high. 1.0667 0.03761 45 42 3 0
4468 Here is your prescription for medicinal cheddar, it should help with you anxiety. 1.0667 0.03761 45 42 3 0
4469 Take two capsules a day, with cheese or assorted garbage. 1.0667 0.03761 45 42 3 0
4470 Take these three times a day with a glass of sewer water. 1.0667 0.03761 45 42 3 0
4471 I may be a rat doctor but at least I can get it up. 1.0667 0.03761 45 42 3 0
4472 This is not your grandmother's cure-all. 1.0667 0.04924 45 43 1 1
4473 Look, here’s my card. But you gotta quit hounding me... 1.0667 0.03761 45 42 3 0
4474 Take one of these on September 14 and the other on October 13. 1.0667 0.03761 45 42 3 0
4475 I would take them wrapped them in cheese, but that's just me. 1.0667 0.03761 45 42 3 0
4476 I’m due at the Gong Show ‘19 casting call in 15. See Phil at CVS. Call your girlfriend, take two and the affect on your corpora cavernosa will relieve the optic explosions. 1.0667 0.03761 45 42 3 0
4477 I have yet to receive your RSVP to my gay rat wedding. 1.0667 0.03761 45 42 3 0
4478 you need to bring your medical records if you want me to ok you for Medical Marijuana just cash will not do the trick 1.0667 0.03761 45 42 3 0
4479 No sir,a Cheese-of-the-Month membership will not be accepted in lieu of payment fo services! 1.0667 0.03761 45 42 3 0
4480 ...and don't worry, I've never divulged any info about my patients, even to the police. 1.0667 0.03761 45 42 3 0
4481 Here. You can get this filled next time you're in Baltimore. 1.0667 0.03761 45 42 3 0
4482 I believe you’ll fit, as I did, that the benefits of the medication outweigh the side effects. 1.0667 0.03761 45 42 3 0
4483 May increase your cravings for cheese. 1.0667 0.04924 45 43 1 1
4484 Take two enema--and call me in the morning ! 1.0667 0.03761 45 42 3 0
4485 Do you really want to end up like me? 1.0667 0.03761 45 42 3 0
4486 Take a card . . . 1.0667 0.03761 45 42 3 0
4487 You're actually looking at the smallest prescription rat. 1.0667 0.03761 45 42 3 0
4488 Just tell the pharmacist that Joey sent you. 1.0667 0.03761 45 42 3 0
4489 Take these and you never have to worry about bubonic plague. 1.0667 0.03761 45 42 3 0
4490 Hey, Bud. Wanna see surgical picture? 1.0667 0.03761 45 42 3 0
4491 What do you mean 'it's only been tested on "your people"'? 1.0667 0.03761 45 42 3 0
4492 Call my connection! he'll hook you up with the best 'CBD'( high THC) in this area.....wink wink 1.0667 0.03761 45 42 3 0
4493 This is a prescription for snacks. I recommend garbage. 1.0667 0.03761 45 42 3 0
4494 And as it turned out, running around that wheel was more like climbing a ladder. 1.0667 0.04924 45 43 1 1
4495 These worked for me and will give you that extra giddy-up in your step. 1.0667 0.03761 45 42 3 0
4496 You need to eat more insects, slugs, spiders, and worms. 1.0667 0.03761 45 42 3 0
4497 Take one every day! I had to, despite all my rage. 1.0667 0.04924 45 43 1 1
4498 Take these, three times a day, with a fresh carcass. 1.0667 0.03761 45 42 3 0
4499 Look, people say all sorts of different things about this; but I can assure you that this is completely okay. 1.0667 0.04924 45 43 1 1
4500 This prescription will prove to your bank manager you need a loan. 1.0667 0.03761 45 42 3 0
4501 Side effects are rare, but they can include retroactive hallucinations. 1.0667 0.03761 45 42 3 0
4502 Take one tablet daily, just before your master takes you out for a walk. 1.0667 0.03761 45 42 3 0
4503 I don't normally prescribe Gouda, but what I think what you've got calls for it. 1.0667 0.04924 45 43 1 1
4504 There is no prescription for this. Take my card, if he wins again you are going to need us. 1.0667 0.03761 45 42 3 0
4505 It's been tested on mice. 1.0667 0.03761 45 42 3 0
4506 I can help with your identity crisis. 1.0667 0.03761 45 42 3 0
4507 Tell me, Frank, do you think I'm a dirty rat? 1.0667 0.03761 45 42 3 0
4508 Here try rat poison! I know it works. That’s all you can ask for. 1.0667 0.03761 45 42 3 0
4509 Sorry about the hand-writing, but keep in mind, I’m a rat. 1.0667 0.03761 45 42 3 0
4510 Drink 8 ounces of plain water at least half-hour before you ... ‘Howl at the Moon’. 1.0667 0.03761 45 42 3 0
4511 One of the possible side effects of this drug, that I too am taking... 1.0667 0.04924 45 43 1 1
4512 Drink the Porridge twice a day for 2 weeks and come visit my house when finished. 1.0667 0.03761 45 42 3 0
4513 This medication should help relive your hallucinations that you are living in a world controlled by animals 1.0667 0.03761 45 42 3 0
4514 At least it's not the plague, but take this and the symptoms should clear out in a few days. 1.0667 0.03761 45 42 3 0
4515 I want you to cut my nose hairs,roll them in this prescription,smoke it,and you'll feel better right away. 1.0667 0.03761 45 42 3 0
4516 One of these a day will help calm your rodent hallucinations. 1.0667 0.03761 45 42 3 0
4517 Don't try to weasel out of paying this bill, it didn't even work for my brother. 1.0667 0.03761 45 42 3 0
4518 No need to worry, I won't tell anyone about your STD 1.0667 0.03761 45 42 3 0
4519 Here's a prescription for some Gouda cheese. You'll feel better in the morning. 1.0667 0.03761 45 42 3 0
4520 Here's a prescription to help cure your hallucinations. 1.0667 0.03761 45 42 3 0
4521 Chew these slowly -- don't wolf them down. 1.0667 0.03761 45 42 3 0
4522 Your eyes son't deceive you. I did graduate from John's Hopkins, Baltimore's finest! 1.0667 0.03761 45 42 3 0
4523 No, I don't think you're a lunatic, but these and howling at the moon will make you feel better. 1.0667 0.03761 45 42 3 0
4524 Here's my card, in case you need any cats exterminated. 1.0667 0.03761 45 42 3 0
4525 I hate to plague you with so many prescriptions 1.0667 0.03761 45 42 3 0
4526 This will help you in the manner in which you look at me and others 1.0667 0.03761 45 42 3 0
4527 This is a new drug which should be great for your problem but we need you to keep track of the side effects. 1.0667 0.03761 45 42 3 0
4528 Here's a prescription for 'Ratgrow' 1.0667 0.03761 45 42 3 0
4529 It’s not like it’s rat poison or anything? 1.0667 0.04924 45 43 1 1
4530 Take two of these and meet me at your grandmother’s house.1564859879.24a15c50-dde0-490c-9201-ae56d8234 1.0667 0.03761 45 42 3 0
4531 It's actually not true, but to ease your concerns, patient confidentiality prohibits me from telling on you. 1.0667 0.03761 45 42 3 0
4532 The addiction only lasts for a lifetime. Trust me, I'm a doctor. 1.0667 0.03761 45 42 3 0
4533 Take this prescription to cure your hallucination or you will look like me! 1.0667 0.04924 45 43 1 1
4534 Eat 1000 ants a day for 2 weeks. 1.0667 0.03761 45 42 3 0
4535 Trust me … all you need is to relocate to an urban dwelling and surround yourself with dark, dusty corners and candy wrappers. 1.0667 0.04924 45 43 1 1
4536 Have these drugs been tested?!" Yes! Do you want to hear about testing 1.0667 0.03761 45 42 3 0
4537 I highly recommend this medication - I take it myself 1.0667 0.04924 45 43 1 1
4538 Spend a night in the sewer, and let me know how you feel in the morning 1.0667 0.03761 45 42 3 0
4539 Here's your prescription for the erectile dysfunction." 1.0667 0.04924 45 43 1 1
4540 Take two of these, stay away from the cheese, and don't sweep your kitchen floor for at least a month. 1.0667 0.03761 45 42 3 0
4541 Take two of these and run through a maze as quickly as you can. 1.0667 0.03761 45 42 3 0
4542 Early trial, off label? I personally guarantee results. 1.0667 0.03761 45 42 3 0
4543 Look, I hardly make anything from the drug company for prescribing these. 1.0667 0.03761 45 42 3 0
4544 This was tested on me personally 1.0667 0.03761 45 42 3 0
4545 You really shouldn't have eaten that pizza. 1.0667 0.04924 45 43 1 1
4546 Yes, it's a side-effect─so what, you too good for it? 1.0667 0.03761 45 42 3 0
4547 I've written you a new prescription for micro-dosing. Macro didn't seem to work so well. 1.0667 0.03761 45 42 3 0
4548 Here's my card. I'd like to run a few tests. 1.0667 0.04924 45 43 1 1
4549 Take two hundred of these and call me in the morning. 1.0667 0.03761 45 42 3 0
4550 This is my telephone number for your girlfriend! 1.0263 0.02667 38 37 1 0
4551 What do you take me for -- this expired 40 years ago! 1.0263 0.02667 38 37 1 0
4552 Here, this medicine will remedy the side effects of your previous prescription. 1.0263 0.02667 38 37 1 0
4553 Please don’t eat me out to the Board. 1.0263 0.02667 38 37 1 0
4554 CBD even works for hallucinations. C’mon! Try it! 1.0263 0.02667 38 37 1 0
4555 I hope that your hallucinations can be ratified by taking these once a day. 1.0263 0.02667 38 37 1 0
4556 Look John, I cannot cure your broken heart. I have no idea who ratted you out. 1.0263 0.02667 38 37 1 0
4557 No, it's not poison, I've taken it myself! 1.0263 0.02667 38 37 1 0
4558 Take 2 blocks of cheddar every morning, and hop on the wheel every now and then to get some exercise in. 1.0256 0.02598 39 38 1 0
4559 You'd think his handwriting would be even worse, but somehow, it's better. 1.0256 0.02598 39 38 1 0
4560 Lactase - take this before any deadly dish. I swear by this stuff. 1.0256 0.02598 39 38 1 0
4561 I've sent your mobile to service center and you'll be fine as soon as it gets repaired. 1.0256 0.02598 39 38 1 0
4562 Like I said I'm Doctor Rat. Call me if you have any other questions about your results. 1.0256 0.02598 39 38 1 0
4563 I'm sorry to tell you that you only have about 6 months to live, unless I eat you now. 1.0256 0.02598 39 38 1 0
4564 Take three times a day with meat 1.0256 0.02598 39 38 1 0
4565 Here, take three a day and let us know what side effects you get. 1.0256 0.02598 39 38 1 0
4566 We also accept cheese or garbage. 1.0256 0.02598 39 38 1 0
4567 What do you mean, rodents can’t be practitioners? 1.0256 0.02598 39 38 1 0
4568 Trust me. A couple of these each day and your back pain will be gone. 1.0256 0.02598 39 38 1 0
4569 2 pills before full moon and you’ll sleep like a baby. 1.0256 0.02598 39 38 1 0
4570 Don't worry it has been tested on humans. 1.0256 0.02598 39 38 1 0
4571 yo my pharma rep keeps sending me this nasty shit, god damn look at this scandalous shit right here she's fine as hell dude 1.0256 0.02598 39 38 1 0
4572 Take two Greenies and call me in the morning! 1.0000 0.02899 35 35 0 0
4573 This will ease your anxiety, it’s a prescription for Lor-Rat-A-Pam. 1.0000 0.02899 35 35 0 0
4574 I'm prescribing a week's vacation in Baltimore. 1.0000 0.02899 35 35 0 0
4575 Yea, you are right: I'm a Lab Rat, but with a license to avenge! 1.0000 0.02899 35 35 0 0
4576 No, it's not going to change how I appear to you. But it will alleviate your ridiculous obsession with mousetraps and bubonic plague. 1.0000 0.02899 35 35 0 0