Contest #671


Cartoon

671

The winning captions

These captions are chosen by The New Yorker.

  1. “It didn’t really bother me until they discovered fire.”
  2. “We never had this problem with the gatherers.”
  3. “The doctor says they’ll be gone in a few million years.”


Name Value
Submission deadline 2019-07-28T21:41:00.000Z
Voting started -
Voting ended 2019-08-18T21:42:00.000Z
Finalists announced 2019-08-12T21:41:00.000Z
Magazine(s) announcing finalists issued August 19, 2019
Number of captions 5589
Number of responses 1352586
Number of participants -


Dashboard

In this table, the "mean" means the empirically measured average funniness score when the "unfunny", "somewhat funny" and "funny" receive a funniness score of 1, 2, 3 respectively. "Precison" is the standard error of the mean, the standard deviation of the mean estimate. With that, a caption with an empirical mean μ and precision σ has true mean in the range [μ - 2σ, μ + 2σ] with 95% probability by the 68-95-99.7 rule assuming the responses are indepedent and identically distributed.

Rank Caption Mean Precision Total votes "Unfunny" votes "Somewhat funny" votes "Funny" votes
0 Someone came to school with humans. Now we’ve all got them. 2.2575 0.00503 21705 3881 8353 9471
1 It didn’t really bother me until they discovered fire. 2.1606 0.00548 18345 3808 7783 6754
2 As a previous partner, I thought I’d let you know. 2.1574 0.00595 17231 4122 6280 6829
3 The doctor says they’ll be gone in a few million years. 2.0898 0.00636 14766 3811 5825 5130
4 Don't get too close, I have sapiens. 2.0890 0.00613 15905 4118 6258 5529
5 Ice didn't work, so I'm trying acupuncture. 2.0543 0.00577 17302 4551 7268 5483
6 Watch what happens when I sneeze. 2.0426 0.00639 15630 4668 5631 5331
7 So instead of spraying, you waited and they just killed each other? 2.0406 0.00655 14787 4408 5372 5007
8 We never had this problem with the gatherers. 2.0263 0.00643 14507 4166 5797 4544
9 It's hard to believe we'll go extinct before these idiots. 2.0229 0.00713 12808 4024 4469 4315
10 My doctor said if you don’t get rid of them, they evolve into something much worse. 2.0162 0.00660 13859 4082 5474 4303
11 This is priceless. They're arguing over who actually captured me. 1.9989 0.00806 9818 3140 3549 3129
12 I was skeptical too, but my lumbar pain? Almost gone. 1.9688 0.00728 10832 3286 4598 2948
13 The bad news is, I got humans. The good news is, they tend to get rid of themselves. 1.9623 0.00712 11606 3639 4765 3202
14 It's not the heat, it's the humanity. 1.9593 0.00741 12070 4265 4037 3768
15 Sometimes I yell ‘Oh, you got me!’ just to boost their spirits. 1.9291 0.00754 10482 3527 4176 2779
16 I need your help getting some people off my back." 1.9212 0.00942 6817 2350 2654 1813
17 They're just humans. How much harm could they possibly do? 1.9202 0.00740 11059 3827 4289 2943
18 The doctor calls it mandruff. 1.8921 0.00787 10054 3738 3666 2650
19 Lie down in caves, get up with cave men. 1.8879 0.00912 7300 2672 2774 1854
20 These little pricks are getting on my nerves 1.8701 0.00785 10622 4264 3478 2880
21 You should get tested, too. 1.8694 0.00762 9958 3621 4021 2316
22 Let me get this straight... WE die out and THEY end up ruling the world? 1.8670 0.00786 9981 3830 3649 2502
23 They said they'd paint a picture of me on the cave wall if I gave them a ride. 1.8552 0.00942 6464 2389 2622 1453
24 I picked up seven - I wasn't sure how many the recipe called for. 1.8534 0.00939 6959 2724 2533 1702
25 This human problem has reached mammoth proportions. 1.8506 0.00856 8677 3501 2971 2205
26 Can you believe I caught another case of nit-wits? 1.8262 0.00878 8460 3622 2687 2151
27 My doctor says only call if they develop fire. 1.8193 0.00902 6872 2655 2804 1413
28 I'm going to go roll in the tar pit. Then we'll see who has the last laugh. 1.7984 0.01700 2064 865 750 449
29 Dinner's on me. 1.7890 0.01070 5246 2246 1861 1139
30 They are driving me to the brink of extinction. 1.7739 0.00872 7562 3222 2828 1512
31 Looks like I got hominids again. God I hate summer. 1.7685 0.00886 7257 3104 2732 1421
32 Ooooh, look at me. I've been captured! 1.7587 0.00959 6240 2740 2277 1223
33 My therapist says I let people walk all over me. 1.7559 0.01027 5632 2530 1948 1154
34 The planet is infested with them! 1.7517 0.00883 7278 3195 2696 1387
35 They're adorable... Watch what happens when I sneeze! 1.7510 0.01062 5117 2273 1845 999
36 Please mom... I promise I'll take care of them. 1.7442 0.01340 3178 1417 1157 604
37 I feel like I'm carrying around a lot of aggression. 1.7401 0.00957 6225 2796 2254 1175
38 Really, what harm could they possibly do? 1.7353 0.01101 4586 2042 1716 828
39 Twice a week for one hour. I am telling you I have never felt better. 1.7268 0.00908 6523 2900 2513 1108
40 The size of their brain will keep them from accomplishing anything important. 1.7241 0.01215 3867 1785 1364 718
41 I met them at a Trump rally 1.7208 0.01219 4449 2264 1163 1022
42 They can reach places I can't. 1.7188 0.01243 3368 1482 1351 535
43 Mosquitoes and humans what was God thinking? 1.7184 0.01113 4843 2326 1555 962
44 I don't have the heart to tell them that it actually feels good. 1.7133 0.00973 5581 2513 2160 908
45 The Lice Age has begun. 1.7108 0.01343 3364 1647 1043 674
46 It's a problem that's been evolving for some time. 1.7069 0.01143 4131 1897 1548 686
47 They call it hunting. I call it acupuncture. 1.7061 0.01284 3297 1523 1220 554
48 The kids are calling them "pokey-men". 1.6985 0.01192 4079 1982 1345 752
49 Imagine what it would be like if these idiots ran the world. 1.6947 0.01357 3223 1599 1009 615
50 Ride-sharing. It is going to be big. 1.6897 0.01134 4325 2086 1498 741
51 They think they’re going to rule the earth someday! Over our dead bodies!!! 1.6810 0.01114 4612 2294 1498 820
52 They’re gonna spin this in their history books—trust me. 1.6724 0.01524 2366 1164 813 389
53 I felt bad for them. They're all that's left of Trump's base. 1.6643 0.01433 3089 1672 782 635
54 Where did you leave the Neanderthal spray? 1.6638 0.02087 1258 627 427 204
55 Honey, bring some matches and the tweezers... 1.6623 0.01117 4353 2164 1495 694
56 You know it's not the heat that gets me, it's the humanity. 1.6519 0.01493 2508 1289 803 416
57 They’re undocumented but very reliable and hardworking. 1.6502 0.01432 2736 1413 867 456
58 It's great to be home. I'm never staying at that motel again. 1.6465 0.01054 4783 2416 1642 725
59 What? No, I don't even know her, I got them at the gym. 1.6460 0.01561 2288 1186 726 376
60 Sorry, it's another invasive species. 1.6456 0.01194 3733 1889 1278 566
61 And you known what's funny? They thought they were bringing ME home for dinner! 1.6444 0.01219 3529 1781 1226 522
62 I'm gonna wash these men right outa my hair. 1.6438 0.01385 2951 1548 906 497
63 That's the beauty of it — they're acupuncturists AND appetizers. 1.6426 0.01309 3304 1736 1013 555
64 I'm pretty sure I got them from you. 1.6401 0.01110 4210 2123 1480 607
65 Worst yet, they keep singing Wooly Bully. 1.6354 0.01647 2205 1208 593 404
66 I must have picked them up in a motel. 1.6332 0.01222 3558 1837 1189 532
67 This Paleo diet is killing me. 1.6328 0.01770 1784 946 547 291
68 They're my dinner -- I'm on something called the paleo diet. 1.6312 0.01283 3395 1805 1037 553
69 Oddly, my shoulder pain is gone, and my chakras feel aligned. 1.6288 0.01298 3163 1647 1043 473
70 I tell you, New York is crawling with these pests. 1.6287 0.01298 3232 1702 1028 502
71 It’s wonderfully symbiotic. They scratch my back and I eat them. 1.6252 0.01529 2380 1275 722 383
72 Once I named them, I just couldn't eat them..._ 1.6215 0.01560 2169 1138 714 317
73 I have a human condition. 1.6081 0.01487 2383 1281 757 345
74 I'd use a pesticide, but I don't want to harm the environment. 1.6027 0.01776 1729 951 514 264
75 Doctor says roll over twice and see him in the morning 1.5955 0.02203 1058 572 342 144
76 Never walk under a ladder. 1.5914 0.01900 1642 959 395 288
77 They really need a hobby. Maybe we can teach them to paint. 1.5874 0.01540 2157 1180 687 290
78 They're hunter-botherers 1.5857 0.01749 1668 918 525 225
79 You might want to get yourself tested. 1.5814 0.02369 872 472 293 107
80 I roll. You stomp 1.5791 0.01855 1485 823 464 198
81 End of the line! For your safety, return all spears and stone weapons to the bins and please return to your seats until the mammoth comes to a complete stop. 1.5791 0.02302 993 558 295 140
82 I know they're annoying, but they must serve some evolutionary purpose. 1.5757 0.02006 1195 648 406 141
83 Don't worry – they'll be attacking each other soon enough. 1.5755 0.01787 1550 852 504 194
84 I don't care how it looks, my back hasn't felt this great in ages. 1.5745 0.01413 2303 1231 824 248
85 Extinction is looking better and better. 1.5740 0.01717 1695 938 541 216
86 Men don't understand what it's like to have people constantly hitting on you. 1.5740 0.01689 1777 990 554 233
87 No, not hemorrhoids, I said humanoids. 1.5722 0.01990 1302 733 393 176
88 For a while there I thought the voices I was hearing were in my head. 1.5719 0.02247 1016 571 309 136
89 Symbiotic my ass! 1.5689 0.02258 1023 582 300 141
90 I preferred the monkey on my back. 1.5664 0.01971 1340 765 391 184
91 Half of them think my back is flat. 1.5662 0.02001 1314 754 376 184
92 I never even knew I was a "people" person. 1.5646 0.01788 1578 891 483 204
93 They may look harmless now, but just wait a few million years. 1.5617 0.01550 2049 1153 643 253
94 You got any Cro-Magnicide? 1.5617 0.01619 1962 1123 576 263
95 I’ve changed my mind about vaccinations 1.5595 0.02314 992 578 273 141
96 We go extinct and these knuckleheads survive? 1.5574 0.02408 827 462 269 96
97 Someday they'll joke about this in The New Yorker. 1.5574 0.01904 1480 869 397 214
98 I just scream, "Argh, you got me!" every so often, and they settle down. 1.5566 0.02272 954 540 297 117
99 We’re going extinct and these idiots survive? 1.5526 0.02316 941 542 278 121
100 I used to pooh-pooh it, too, but, I'm telling you - acupuncture really works. 1.5516 0.01593 1840 1027 611 202
101 Do we have any more of the special shampoo? 1.5453 0.01654 1687 947 560 180
102 Just a few humans...what’s the worst that could happen? 1.5442 0.02458 825 479 243 103
103 Breakfast will be ready in 2 shakes 1.5440 0.01785 1557 903 461 193
104 I knew I shouldn't have borrowed Harold's comb 1.5423 0.01722 1595 909 507 179
105 Their sticks and stones don’t bother me much but their name calling is really hurtful. 1.5419 0.02736 644 370 199 75
106 I can’t wait for them to invent the wheel. 1.5414 0.02519 822 489 221 112
107 They're an invasive species. 1.5400 0.02105 1074 616 336 122
108 They looked bigger in the paintings. 1.5396 0.01787 1490 855 466 169
109 They get the spots I can't reach! 1.5382 0.01721 1507 845 513 149
110 These are hunters I gather. 1.5381 0.02152 1102 653 305 144
111 I understand you can get rid of them by jumping into a tar pit. 1.5379 0.01762 1489 847 483 159
112 What, where?” 1.5372 0.01945 1303 762 382 159
113 One of them lost a contact lens. 1.5367 0.02597 790 478 200 112
114 You left the screen door open again. 1.5352 0.01831 1394 800 442 152
115 Next time, you answer the door. 1.5331 0.02308 861 492 279 90
116 There's a lot more of them since the climate started changing. 1.5308 0.01840 1349 773 436 140
117 Hey Doc, does this constitute a pre-historic condition? 1.5302 0.02148 1060 625 308 127
118 The doctor says they'll be gone in two to three millennia. 1.5288 0.02575 694 400 221 73
119 Can you believe there will be twenty of them in the debate? 1.5277 0.01996 1281 772 342 167
120 Look at it this way -- they won't last. 1.5262 0.01935 1260 737 383 140
121 Well, I started with just the one piercing and then I just couldn't stop. 1.5249 0.01947 1227 715 380 132
122 Honey, where do we keep the Neanderthal repellant? 1.5245 0.01983 1205 710 359 136
123 For 300,000 years, life was pretty cool. Then global warming brought these pests north! 1.5245 0.02010 1186 700 350 136
124 I’ve heard bathing in tar works. 1.5243 0.01873 1234 705 414 115
125 Last month it was a group of blind men touching me all over. Now this? 1.5231 0.02463 845 514 220 111
126 Those little fellows will be the end of us all. 1.5230 0.01992 1195 704 357 134
127 Honest honey, I must have gotten them off a toilet seat. 1.5225 0.03087 534 324 141 69
128 I don't mind. They're actually good for my sciatica 1.5219 0.02372 778 445 260 73
129 They're not hunters or gatherers, they're groomers. 1.5208 0.02448 795 473 231 91
130 Ever have that ONE spot you just can't reach with your trunk? 1.5151 0.02536 730 434 216 80
131 They pretend to hunt, and I pretend to pay attention. 1.5137 0.02042 1055 613 342 100
132 No worries. Eventually, they kill each other. 1.5124 0.02159 1009 603 295 111
133 I brought the snacks you like. 1.5121 0.02142 1037 623 297 117
134 You should try it. Running these cave tours is a great source of supplemental income. 1.5117 0.02527 725 431 217 77
135 They're not really too annoying, except for when they try to bury their dead. 1.5083 0.02239 966 588 265 113
136 They’re nit pickers. 1.5082 0.02171 978 584 291 103
137 You see them, too?? 1.5078 0.02393 829 501 235 93
138 Imagine if these idiots run the world some day. 1.5068 0.02258 961 589 257 115
139 I wanted to show everyone I wasn't homophobic. 1.5053 0.02312 936 580 239 117
140 I got the part! I got the part! I'm the lead in Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs! 1.5039 0.02803 633 392 163 78
141 Deny it if you like, but eventually this is going to be a problem. 1.5011 0.02209 894 529 282 83
142 Ignore them. They'll die off soon. 1.5000 0.02265 888 535 262 91
143 I guess that makes me a hunter-gatherer gatherer. 1.5000 0.02234 864 510 276 78
144 I rather enjoy the little pricks. 1.4994 0.02373 875 544 225 106
145 They're always the worst at dusk and the dawn of civilization. 1.4989 0.02311 890 546 244 100
146 Call me crazy, but I think the bugs are getting smarter. 1.4982 0.02320 847 512 248 87
147 The Chinese swear by it 1.4971 0.02297 859 519 253 87
148 I thought they were cute at first too. 1.4971 0.02221 851 507 269 75
149 They really help to get in all of those hard to reach places. 1.4970 0.02314 835 502 251 82
150 Problem is, we had another mild winter. 1.4964 0.02353 828 503 239 86
151 It's called acupuncture and it relieves the stress of extinction. 1.4959 0.02274 849 508 261 80
152 Honey, where’s the Neander-off? 1.4952 0.02375 832 511 230 91
153 The worst part is they just argue about politics. 1.4927 0.02422 824 514 214 96
154 I always say, "Keep your enemies close." 1.4918 0.02728 610 372 176 62
155 They breed like fleas! 1.4918 0.02630 669 411 187 71
156 The most annoying part is how they won’t shut up about their Paleo diet. 1.4917 0.02433 785 485 215 85
157 Yeah, they're loud, but I get to use the HOV lane. 1.4917 0.02457 783 485 211 87
158 So small. So cute. What harm could they possibly ever do? 1.4903 0.02374 771 464 236 71
159 They're great for itches my trunk can't reach. 1.4902 0.02379 769 467 229 73
160 What's the worst that could happen? 1.4890 0.02451 771 476 213 82
161 I'm trying to collect the whole set before they disappear. 1.4888 0.02430 759 463 221 75
162 Quick, carve a picture. 1.4884 0.02560 735 464 185 86
163 Well, it's a little irritating but they'll be gone long before you or me. 1.4884 0.02439 776 479 215 82
164 Don't worry. I think they'll be extinct soon. 1.4882 0.02397 764 463 229 72
165 We need to address the cavemen in the room. 1.4879 0.02506 742 460 202 80
166 They seem cute now, but wait for the Anthropocene. 1.4866 0.02613 672 415 187 70
167 These are the artists I was telling you about 1.4856 0.02553 694 427 197 70
168 These things will be the death of me. 1.4853 0.02501 750 468 200 82
169 It’s no problem, they exterminate themselves. 1.4837 0.02514 736 459 198 79
170 Thats the last time I sleep in a cheap cave. 1.4834 0.02465 722 441 213 68
171 Can we keep them? 1.4830 0.02505 706 433 205 68
172 I give them 10,000 years tops. 1.4822 0.02772 562 342 169 51
173 I know. They're bad this year. 1.4818 0.02855 523 317 160 46
174 I don't know what the hell is going on, but when it was colder we never had to deal with these buggers. 1.4802 0.02573 683 424 190 69
175 Be honest. Do they make me look fat? 1.4801 0.02547 702 437 193 72
176 My daughter's school had an outbreak. I don't want to talk about it. 1.4794 0.02553 678 418 195 65
177 I've been tested - I swear. 1.4782 0.02543 688 426 195 67
178 They're here to decorate our cave. 1.4782 0.02543 688 426 195 67
179 I find their indifference to futility rather cute. 1.4777 0.03000 494 306 140 48
180 I liked it better when they just painted us. 1.4773 0.02409 683 413 217 52
181 I'm stuffed. Do you want the rest of these? 1.4765 0.02606 659 410 184 65
182 Actually, I’d rather have the fleas back. 1.4762 0.03205 420 258 124 38
183 Do you want to tell them about the Endangered Species Act, or should I? 1.4753 0.02560 669 414 192 63
184 The doctor says not to worry; they’re gatherers, not hunters.” 1.4748 0.02554 655 402 195 58
185 What part of “mammoth” do they not understand? 1.4748 0.02608 655 408 183 64
186 You should get tested. 1.4743 0.02597 662 413 184 65
187 I know I should get rid of them, but they’re so darn cute. 1.4743 0.02597 662 413 184 65
188 Another outbreak of Neander-dander. 1.4741 0.02658 656 417 168 71
189 What harm can they do with their tiny little brains? 1.4738 0.02567 650 400 192 58
190 They're driving me to extinction. 1.4730 0.02738 647 417 154 76
191 I hate human season. They absolutely eat me alive. 1.4721 0.02738 627 400 158 69
192 They won't be able to do anything; they're a committee. 1.4708 0.02691 633 401 166 66
193 I like to keep my enemies close. 1.4694 0.02691 605 378 170 57
194 Mom, the school just sent me home 1.4688 0.02641 608 376 179 53
195 I know it seems a little new-agey, but this acupuncture stuff really works!" 1.4682 0.02662 598 370 176 52
196 They'll never draw it like this. 1.4676 0.02934 571 373 129 69
197 What do you think? How much longer before I just roll over? 1.4671 0.02671 608 380 172 56
198 I can't hurt them – they have pictures of us on their walls! 1.4666 0.02785 598 383 151 64
199 Are you sure that mattress was new? 1.4666 0.02754 598 380 157 61
200 The glaciers retreat and these pests arrive. For me, the next ice age can't come soon enough. 1.4650 0.02602 600 368 185 47
201 I thought we'd do take-home tonight. 1.4649 0.03030 499 319 128 52
202 I don't know...do these people make me look fat? 1.4647 0.03122 467 298 121 48
203 The meds were making me sleepy, so I'm trying something holistic. 1.4646 0.02673 594 370 172 52
204 You'll never guess which of us goes extinct 1.4643 0.02736 575 360 163 52
205 Where's my lint roller? 1.4635 0.03067 466 294 128 44
206 I brought take-out 1.4632 0.02788 585 379 145 61
207 I'm having a little work done. 1.4632 0.02713 585 367 165 53
208 Let's go down to the tarpits and find out if they can swim. 1.4632 0.02702 585 366 167 52
209 I picked up some appetizers for us. 1.4630 0.02737 581 366 161 54
210 To be honest, I admire their spirit: they’ve been hunting me all summer. 1.4628 0.02669 564 346 175 43
211 Ew. Mandruff. 1.4625 0.02830 573 368 145 60
212 They followed me home. Can I keep them? 1.4625 0.02797 573 365 151 57
213 I’ll miss them once they all kill each other. 1.4623 0.03346 398 253 106 39
214 I'm getting a tattoo. 1.4617 0.03201 457 296 111 50
215 We'd be in real trouble if they ever stopped squabbling and learned to work together. 1.4617 0.02705 574 358 167 49
216 If you don't catch it early, they really start to take over. 1.4613 0.02746 555 346 162 47
217 I’m trying acupuncture for my back pain. 1.4610 0.02715 564 351 166 47
218 They call me 'Masta Don' 1.4604 0.02836 556 355 146 55
219 At first it was simple backstabbing. Now it's a fight of mammoth proportions. 1.4602 0.02847 565 364 142 59
220 How the heck am I supposed to know if they're hunting or gathering? 1.4602 0.02792 565 359 152 54
221 First it was mosquitos and now cave fleas. I hate summer. 1.4595 0.02839 555 355 145 55
222 I wish I could get these pricks off my back. 1.4574 0.02922 551 360 130 61
223 Well how do you exfoliate? 1.4569 0.02883 534 342 140 52
224 Am I imagining things, or have they started using tools? 1.4563 0.02864 526 334 144 48
225 We're going to have to chat with the landlord again. 1.4563 0.02787 526 328 156 42
226 I can't go out with hurlers in my hair! 1.4563 0.03012 526 346 120 60
227 Pachydermatologists 1.4557 0.02887 542 350 137 55
228 I can't go back to school until they're gone! 1.4556 0.02774 540 339 156 45
229 ...and I can't go back to school without a doctor's note saying they've been gone one week. 1.4556 0.02835 540 344 146 50
230 Turns out I've got cavemen. Should I sleep somewhere else? 1.4554 0.02830 538 342 147 49
231 More like The Lice-Age, am I right? 1.4554 0.02915 538 349 133 56
232 Hey, what does tenderizing mean? 1.4554 0.02768 538 342 149 46
233 After dinner they're going to draw me on the wall. 1.4549 0.02844 521 329 147 45
234 I really think it’s time we talk about the men with spears in the room. 1.4547 0.02955 519 336 130 53
235 The headaches have improved but the existential fears haven't gotten any better. 1.4545 0.02860 517 327 145 45
236 My doctor said to call if it progresses any further than the stone age. 1.4545 0.02937 517 333 133 51
237 One time just for laughs, I screamed and fell to my knees. 1.4529 0.02973 499 321 130 48
238 Mom, can I keep them if I promise to take care of them? 1.4528 0.02908 508 324 138 46
239 Honey, I shrank the neanderthals. 1.4521 0.02916 522 337 134 51
240 They’ve gone straight from cave art to Pointillism. 1.4519 0.02924 520 336 133 51
241 For some reason they call me Uber. 1.4512 0.03897 297 193 74 30
242 Totally solves the flea problem. I plan on keeping them until they discover fire. 1.4501 0.02961 511 332 128 51
243 My insurance won't pay for any other type of acupuncture. 1.4499 0.03008 509 334 121 54
244 You have to try it; acupuncture changed my life. 1.4484 0.02869 504 320 142 42
245 Gotta get that screen door fixed. 1.4482 0.02945 502 324 131 47
246 Well, Norman, we just have to live with it. It's the lice age. 1.4471 0.02989 501 327 124 50
247 The Licemen Cometh 1.4462 0.03158 493 333 100 60
248 I reckon a stop, drop and roll will do the trick. 1.4458 0.02737 489 300 160 29
249 They're not hunting me. They're my emotional support posse 1.4456 0.02909 487 310 137 40
250 They're just a bunch of nit-pickers! 1.4449 0.02925 490 314 134 42
251 Should've checked the mattress 1.4444 0.03067 468 305 118 45
252 I'm going to get my picture painted. 1.4444 0.03111 468 308 112 48
253 Did you give me cavemen? 1.4444 0.03052 468 304 120 44
254 They call it hunting, I call it grooming. 1.4444 0.03022 468 302 124 42
255 It's still better than having Trump as president. 1.4442 0.03187 484 328 97 59
256 They're white, non-college educated voters from Michigan, Wisconsin and Pennsylvania. 1.4440 0.03170 482 325 100 57
257 I understand in Jersey the're much worse. 1.4438 0.02938 480 309 129 41
258 They're not as cute as the birds, but they seem to know just where to scratch. 1.4436 0.03330 390 253 101 36
259 They're called vermen. 1.4430 0.03020 465 300 124 41
260 They're a nuisance, but harmless, right? 1.4430 0.03035 465 301 122 42
261 You still have that lice comb? 1.4428 0.02919 481 307 135 39
262 Someday they will evolve into Republicans and make me their mascot. 1.4420 0.03103 457 299 114 44
263 I've been re-thinking my commitment as a herbivore. 1.4418 0.03034 455 293 123 39
264 They're fighting again, aren't they? Superior species my ass. 1.4416 0.03125 471 313 108 50
265 I’m thinking a quick dip in the tar pit will get rid of these. 1.4416 0.02961 471 302 130 39
266 Hope the Paleo Diet craze ends soon. 1.4416 0.03139 471 314 106 51
267 Not only are they worse than mosquitoes, they're wearing my mother. 1.4414 0.03120 469 311 109 49
268 I don't think they're contagious. 1.4411 0.02979 467 300 128 39
269 I shampooed with Head & Soldiers 1.4411 0.03115 467 309 110 48
270 I don't know, they're itchy and angry so I think I'll call them crabs. 1.4409 0.03052 474 311 117 46
271 I forgot to wear my human collar. 1.4408 0.03092 456 298 115 43
272 I should've gotten the vaccination. 1.4389 0.02987 458 294 127 37
273 They hunt. I gather. 1.4386 0.02996 456 293 126 37
274 Dr. Mitchell says it's Cavemeningitis. 1.4382 0.03081 445 289 117 39
275 And we're the ones who eventually go extinct? 1.4368 0.03035 451 292 121 38
276 We"re safe until they get guns 1.4368 0.03083 451 295 115 41
277 Sure it’s symbiotic now but I have a bad feeling about how this going to evolve. 1.4368 0.03019 451 291 123 37
278 I got the idea watching little birds cleaning a crocodile’s mouth. 1.4362 0.03103 447 293 113 41
279 The humans are all over this summer 1.4362 0.03004 447 287 125 35
280 ...and we're the ones going extinct?! 1.4360 0.03096 445 291 114 40
281 I think my husband is cheating on me. I don't know how else I could have gotten humans. 1.4360 0.03145 445 294 108 43
282 Got these back scratchers on Amazon. 1.4360 0.03063 445 289 118 38
283 Why bother? I hear they're on the verge of extinction. 1.4360 0.02997 445 285 126 34
284 I miss when they just drew on the walls.... 1.4360 0.02997 445 285 126 34
285 Go ahead, one won't kill you," you said 1.4353 0.03065 448 292 117 39
286 You know, in a way I'm kind of looking forward to extinction. 1.4341 0.03153 440 291 107 42
287 They were fine until they invented fire. 1.4341 0.02985 440 287 117 35
288 Apparently the best way to remove these things is by laying in a glacier for ten thousand years. 1.4341 0.03070 440 286 117 37
289 I was going to have them removed but my plan won't cover it. 1.4335 0.03056 436 282 119 35
290 I don’t like the way this is evolving. 1.4333 0.03100 420 271 116 33
291 What is it? Do I have something in my teeth? 1.4332 0.03048 434 280 120 34
292 They were on sale. 1.4332 0.03117 434 284 112 38
293 Doc says two to three weeks and they'll turn on each other. 1.4332 0.03083 434 282 116 36
294 What brand of shampoo did you use to get rid of yours? 1.4329 0.03004 432 276 125 31
295 I'm telling you, they'll be the death of us all. 1.4320 0.03159 419 274 109 36
296 They’re a mammoth pain in my butt. 1.4320 0.03086 419 270 117 32
297 I need a mastodontist. 1.4320 0.03105 419 271 115 33
298 I forgot to put on repellant before I left. 1.4319 0.03121 433 284 111 38
299 Seven, yes. Magnificent, no. 1.4306 0.03019 425 272 123 30
300 Don't worry--they're almost extinct. 1.4303 0.03101 423 275 114 34
301 The leader is a guy named Gulliver. 1.4299 0.03201 421 279 103 39
302 I can't believe this is covered by insurance! 1.4296 0.03178 405 264 108 33
303 One day, when our advanced age is gone, these little parasites will probably rule the world. 1.4265 0.03235 408 271 100 37
304 I slept in that cheap cave down in the valley last night, why? 1.4265 0.03063 408 262 118 28
305 Can you recommend a good pachydermatologist? 1.4261 0.03228 406 269 101 36
306 What do you mean I have cave lice? 1.4236 0.03188 399 262 105 32
307 Get the tweezers. 1.4232 0.03199 397 261 104 32
308 Right. And you have a herd of giant unicorns on yours. 1.4232 0.03239 397 263 100 34
309 I was skeptical but my back hasn't felt this good in years. 1.4232 0.03119 397 257 112 28
310 These guys are the best. They do pest control and barefoot back massage at the same time. 1.4232 0.03297 397 266 94 37
311 They're great for those hard-to-reach areas. 1.4228 0.03088 395 254 115 26
312 It was a Groupon. 1.4228 0.03250 395 262 99 34
313 The dinosaurs had it easy not having to deal with this 1.4224 0.03222 393 259 102 32
314 Soooo much easier than rolling on the ground. 1.4224 0.03077 393 252 116 25
315 At first I was concerned until I realized they were more interested in fighting with each other. 1.4224 0.03222 393 259 102 32
316 I think they’re trying to kill me. On a lighter note, my back pain is gone. 1.4223 0.03221 386 253 103 30
317 They call it Acupuncture and my back feels so much better. 1.4223 0.03200 386 252 105 29
318 When they quit feeling good, I simply roll over. 1.4223 0.03158 386 250 109 27
319 I must have picked them up coming through the tall grass. 1.4220 0.03151 391 254 109 28
320 For them, it’s a mammoth undertaking. 1.4220 0.03253 391 259 99 33
321 They pop if you squeeze them. 1.4212 0.03377 387 262 87 38
322 It kinda feels like when your leg falls asleep. 1.4209 0.03226 392 259 101 32
323 Still think climate change is a hoax? 1.4206 0.03331 378 252 93 33
324 They sent me home from camp 1.4202 0.03301 376 249 96 31
325 As long as they don’t evolve and multiply things should be fine 1.4202 0.03301 376 249 96 31
326 I gotta get rid of them before they discover fire. 1.4202 0.03279 376 248 98 30
327 I’m not worried. They’ll invent the wheel and move on. 1.4194 0.03259 372 247 94 29
328 It’s not the heat, it’s that pesky humanity! 1.4193 0.03210 384 252 103 29
329 And, dammit, I used the spray before I went out. 1.4193 0.03272 384 255 97 32
330 Hominits. 1.4188 0.03305 382 255 94 33
331 It feels good and they get to keep what they find. 1.4188 0.03263 382 253 98 31
332 They're a delicious snack, but I think the toothpicks are just pretentious. 1.4184 0.03379 380 257 87 36
333 They said one of 7 dwarves is Grumpy, but they really all are." 1.4184 0.03254 380 251 99 30
334 Cute, aren't they. I mean, what harm could they do? 1.4184 0.03296 380 253 95 32
335 Quick! Draw this on the wall! 1.4184 0.03275 380 252 97 31
336 On the plus side, it’s nice to have men fight over me. 1.4184 0.03296 380 253 95 32
337 Well, Edna, I sure didn't get them off of a toilet seat. 1.4184 0.03275 380 252 97 31
338 Let's go to the tarpits to see if they float 1.4184 0.03317 380 254 93 33
339 I think it's some issue about me being in the room. 1.4180 0.03371 378 255 88 35
340 When was the last time we had the cave fumigated? 1.4180 0.03265 378 250 98 30
341 The doctor confirmed it was humans, but gave me a special shampoo. 1.4180 0.03156 378 245 108 25
342 Be honest. Did I get any on me? 1.4178 0.03352 371 248 91 32
343 I don't mind, as long as they don't invent fire. 1.4167 0.03301 372 247 95 30
344 At first it was really annoying, but then my back pain went away... 1.4155 0.03060 361 228 116 17
345 My back has felt so much better since I started acupuncture. 1.4150 0.03219 359 233 103 23
346 Their words hurt the most... 1.4150 0.03475 359 244 81 34
347 They're called Democrats. They're no threat as long as they're squabbling among themselves. 1.4150 0.03452 359 243 83 33
348 I would, but I'm vegan. 1.4150 0.03429 359 242 85 32
349 By the time they've finally worked out how stupid they are, I'll be long gone. 1.4150 0.03314 359 237 95 27
350 Honestly, I never really believed in acupuncture either, but all my friends said, “Oh, you’ve just got to give these guys a try.” 1.4150 0.03407 359 241 87 31
351 I wouldn't even mind really, but they keep asking for the wifi password. 1.4150 0.03541 359 247 75 37
352 The insurance only pays for two to get removed per visit. 1.4150 0.03361 359 239 91 29
353 I brought appetizers. 1.4150 0.03429 359 242 85 32
354 …But no – Doug has to come to work, and now the whole office is infected. 1.4150 0.03361 359 239 91 29
355 Do we have any more of that Neanderthal repellent? 1.4146 0.03160 369 239 107 23
356 Sure it's annoying, but they're on the endangered list so I put up with it. 1.4146 0.03206 369 241 103 25
357 The doctor said to return if they invent fire. 1.4146 0.03319 369 246 93 30
358 I’m not worried, as dumb as they are they’ll be extinct soon. 1.4142 0.03263 367 242 98 27
359 It’s called acupuncture and it’s doing wonders for my chronic back pain. 1.4142 0.03331 367 245 92 30
360 It’s the little things that bother me. 1.4142 0.03331 367 247 89 31
361 "No, they don't bother me right now, but I understand the long-term effects aren't that well understood yet..." 1.4142 0.03263 367 242 98 27
362 I think I'd prefer the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune. 1.4142 0.03397 367 248 86 33
363 A little Pleistocene psoriasis. And you? 1.4142 0.03375 367 247 88 32
364 Acupuncturists. You should try them. 1.4137 0.03206 365 238 103 24
365 Its called acupuncture, very new age. 1.4137 0.03275 365 241 97 27
366 They can't find the elephant in the room 1.4132 0.03468 363 248 80 35
367 They were cute when there were only two. 1.4127 0.03414 361 244 85 32
368 I wore a condom" my ass 1.4119 0.03545 352 242 75 35
369 Little pricks! 1.4108 0.03374 353 236 89 28
370 They call me “Earth.” 1.4094 0.03547 342 234 76 32
371 A little more to the right. 1.4094 0.03424 342 229 86 27
372 They just want a ride over to La Brea. 1.4086 0.03368 350 234 89 27
373 I"m going to wash these men right out of my hair. 1.4086 0.03392 350 235 87 28
374 Retirement got boring and Uber needed the competition. 1.4086 0.03534 350 241 75 34
375 They're trying so hard and I don't have the heart to tell them that it actually feels good. 1.4086 0.03392 350 235 87 28
376 The doctor said it is a case of 'Man.' It's terminal. 1.4086 0.03440 350 237 83 30
377 Can I borrow your mandruff shampoo? 1.4086 0.03392 350 235 87 28
378 It's called acupuncture and it did wonders for Ethel's sciatica. 1.4086 0.03416 350 236 85 29
379 Honey, can you get the fleanderthal spray? These guys are killing me. 1.4080 0.03478 348 237 80 31
380 Mom always said they die off once the first good glacier hits. 1.4080 0.03205 348 226 102 20
381 You should see the crew that does my nails. 1.4077 0.03413 336 224 87 25
382 We have a deal. I chase off the saber tooths, and they take care of the ticks. 1.4077 0.03387 336 223 89 24
383 I’ve tried everything, but I just can’t get rid of this mandruff! 1.4076 0.03404 341 228 87 26
384 It's a mammoth problem. 1.4064 0.03345 342 227 91 24
385 You change the sheets while I go roll around in the tar pit. 1.4064 0.03319 342 226 93 23
386 Really? An existential threat? But they're so cute. 1.4064 0.03215 342 222 101 19
387 I took the shortcut through Olduvai Gorge. 1.4059 0.03534 340 233 76 31
388 Look, I'm a hunter-gatherer. 1.4059 0.03583 340 235 72 33
389 By the way, hunting season started today. 1.4059 0.03460 340 230 82 28
390 It's always the little guys that stab you in the back. 1.4059 0.03435 340 229 84 27
391 I liked them better as neighbors when they were just gatherers 1.4059 0.03435 340 229 84 27
392 If this keeps up I'm booking an appointment with a paleontologist. 1.4059 0.03306 340 224 94 22
393 Hey honey, what's the name of those birds the rhinos use? 1.4059 0.03384 340 227 88 25
394 Honey, you forgot to shut the screen door again. 1.4059 0.03485 340 231 80 29
395 My pachydermotologist says they'll do wonders for the skin. 1.4059 0.03332 340 225 92 23
396 They followed me home, Mom, can I keep em? 1.4049 0.03317 326 213 94 19
397 The doctor said they are a new species of parasites. 1.4048 0.03499 331 224 80 27
398 The road to extinction is paved with that kind of apathy, Charles. 1.4048 0.03393 331 220 88 23
399 My insurance plan finally covers acupuncture. 1.4048 0.03447 331 222 84 25
400 I don’t have the heart to tell them it only tickles. 1.4048 0.03525 331 225 78 28
401 Where'd you put the Neanderthal spray 1.4048 0.03420 331 221 86 24
402 People are so annoying. 1.4048 0.03499 331 224 80 27
403 Please explain how we are the ones that go extinct. 1.4048 0.03551 331 226 76 29
404 Last time we vacation in Lilliput. 1.4048 0.03577 331 227 74 30
405 It’s a new kind of parasite called Man. 1.4048 0.03473 331 223 82 26
406 I couldn't find a flea collar in my size. 1.4048 0.03420 331 221 86 24
407 How bad is it, doc? Fleas? Ticks? Heretics? 1.4048 0.03473 331 223 82 26
408 They say this new acupuncture treatment may help lower back pain. 1.4038 0.03494 317 212 82 23
409 Two more and I’ll have the complete set. 1.4036 0.03568 332 228 74 30
410 Time to dehumanize. 1.4036 0.03517 332 226 78 28
411 Luckily for me they haven't discovered fire yet. 1.4030 0.03310 335 221 93 21
412 Say hello to my little friends. 1.4025 0.03558 323 220 76 27
413 Worried? No. It's just a bunch of little pricks. 1.4014 0.03820 289 199 64 26
414 I miss the dinosaurs. 1.4013 0.03629 314 215 72 27
415 They're irritating but I can't imagine them causing any real harm. 1.4006 0.03492 317 213 81 23
416 I'm stuck in the lice age. 1.4006 0.03604 317 217 73 27
417 You know those cave drawings we've been seeing around? 1.4006 0.03405 317 210 87 20
418 I need to get this looked at before they start to spread. 1.4006 0.03463 317 212 83 22
419 Are you going to ask how my day was? 1.4006 0.03548 317 215 77 25
420 Yet another anti-human-spray with empty promises. 1.4006 0.03463 317 216 77 24
421 'Parasites' is such an ugly word. I think of them as my personal groomers. 1.4006 0.03285 317 206 95 16
422 My mom's an anti-vaxxer. 1.4006 0.03686 317 220 67 30
423 You lie down with dogs, you get up with Neanderthals 1.4006 0.03346 317 208 91 18
424 CBD oil? Really 1.4006 0.03405 317 210 87 20
425 It's just until I pay off my student loans 1.4006 0.03604 317 217 73 27
426 Cave mites. 1.4000 0.03477 315 211 82 22
427 I keep my friends close and my enemies closer. 1.4000 0.03389 315 208 88 19
428 I wouldn't call it parasitic, it's really more you scratch my back and I won't step on you. 1.4000 0.03477 315 211 82 22
429 Where’s the mandruff shampoo? 1.4000 0.03389 315 208 88 19
430 Acupuncture, you said! That’s the last time I listen to you! 1.3994 0.03528 323 220 77 26
431 I think I have Neanderthals, doc. 1.3994 0.03446 323 217 83 23
432 Some folks say they're sentient, and it's cruel to kill them... 1.3994 0.03389 323 215 87 21
433 I’m beginning to think they aren’t licensed acupuncturists. 1.3994 0.03528 323 220 77 26
434 Not to worry, the next ice age will kill them all! 1.3994 0.03473 323 218 81 24
435 This is my favorite party snack because they come with their own toothpicks. 1.3994 0.03501 323 219 79 25
436 I have a mammoth itch! 1.3994 0.03662 323 225 67 31
437 I picked up dinner for us on the way home. 1.3994 0.03389 323 215 87 21
438 I really think it’s time they discover agriculture.” 1.3994 0.03555 323 221 75 27
439 A little to the left...ahhhh, that's the spot! 1.3988 0.03340 326 216 90 20
440 It's hard to believe that we'll be the ones that end up extinct. 1.3988 0.03460 321 219 78 24
441 Maybe we should go in. They're really bad tonight. 1.3988 0.03460 321 216 82 23
442 There’s something I need to get off my back. 1.3988 0.03598 321 221 72 28
443 I have no idea why, but when they poke me, my knee pain goes away. 1.3988 0.03460 321 216 82 23
444 Wait till you see the vegans. 1.3981 0.03530 319 217 77 25
445 I swear I've only been with you! I don't know where I picked these up! 1.3981 0.03558 319 218 75 26
446 I think I picked them up at daycare 1.3981 0.03417 319 213 85 21
447 Do these make me look mammoth? 1.3981 0.03558 319 218 75 26
448 You may want to get yourself checked. 1.3981 0.03474 319 215 81 23
449 I'm sure it's nothing. 1.3981 0.03522 309 208 79 22
450 It's called acupuncture and it's very progressive. 1.3975 0.03489 317 214 80 23
451 Ignore these guys. What harm can they do? 1.3975 0.03573 317 217 74 26
452 I'm just going to wait until they go extinct. 1.3954 0.03420 306 203 85 18
453 Can you believe they will survive us? 1.3954 0.03603 306 209 73 24
454 Cave men? Thank goodness! I was afraid it was psoriasis. 1.3954 0.03513 306 206 79 21
455 I wouldn'd mind so much if they weren't singing ABBA. 1.3954 0.03543 306 207 77 22
456 Would it kill you to say hi to the new neighbors? 1.3954 0.03543 306 207 77 22
457 It's a symbiotic relationship. They get fresh meat, and I get to miss the Trump presidency. 1.3954 0.03749 306 214 63 29
458 They're woolly bullies. 1.3954 0.03482 306 205 81 20
459 Woolly bullies. 1.3954 0.03603 306 209 73 24
460 I call it death by a thousand cuts. 1.3947 0.03497 304 206 77 21
461 I swear it isn't sexually transmitted! 1.3947 0.03305 304 205 82 17
462 I've got the seven spears itch. 1.3947 0.03649 304 209 70 25
463 Nah, I’m not too bothered. They’ll be extinct in no time. 1.3947 0.03528 304 205 78 21
464 Oh, don’t worry—a species this clueless will soon be extinct. 1.3947 0.03434 304 202 84 18
465 The neanderthals are really biting today. 1.3941 0.03380 307 203 87 17
466 It’s ok, they’re vegans 1.3929 0.03433 308 206 83 19
467 At least they'll be extinct soon. 1.3907 0.03662 302 209 68 25
468 I really should've gotten vaccinated. 1.3907 0.03721 302 211 64 27
469 After they get the fleas, I'll have them shine the tusks. 1.3907 0.03477 302 203 80 19
470 That's what I get for relying on herd immunity 1.3907 0.03662 302 209 68 25
471 Oh, they’re just hitching a ride to the Trump rally. 1.3907 0.03780 302 213 60 29
472 Uber ride share, Its a living. 1.3900 0.03617 300 206 71 23
473 They're a bunch of little pricks! 1.3900 0.03678 300 208 67 25
474 You still eating Paleo? 1.3900 0.03617 300 206 71 23
475 It’s a good thing I’m both woolly and mammoth. 1.3894 0.03436 303 203 82 18
476 Remember that tiny painting we saw? I told you it looked like me. 1.3893 0.03474 298 200 80 18
477 It's my week for the car pool. 1.3893 0.03474 298 200 80 18
478 I admire their optimism 1.3893 0.03474 298 200 80 18
479 At first I was skeptical but my back feels so much better. 1.3893 0.03507 298 201 78 19
480 I brought the hors d'oeuvres 1.3893 0.03633 298 205 70 23
481 You're right! Acupuncture is helping! 1.3893 0.03571 298 203 74 21
482 I just hope they're cannibals. 1.3893 0.03695 298 207 66 25
483 Everyone at school has them. 1.3885 0.03456 296 198 81 17
484 I see the monkey on your back as evolved and multiplied 1.3885 0.03618 296 203 71 22
485 They’re supposed to help me quit smoking. 1.3881 0.03605 286 194 73 19
486 Best back scratch I've ever had. 1.3878 0.03603 294 201 72 21
487 Don't worry. Global warming will get them, too 1.3878 0.03635 294 202 70 22
488 They say acupuncture helps with back pain. 1.3878 0.03603 294 201 72 21
489 My doctor told me to inform all of my previous partners… 1.3878 0.03537 294 199 76 19
490 It's a new grooming service but I think I like the Monkeys better." 1.3878 0.03537 294 199 76 19
491 They’re all just a bunch of backstabbers. 1.3878 0.03603 294 201 72 21
492 My campaign message is for them to go back where they came from. 1.3873 0.03886 284 201 56 27
493 I can see the writing on the wall... 1.3870 0.03553 292 200 72 20
494 I know they're parasites but I think we should respect all living creatures 1.3870 0.03553 292 198 75 19
495 Do these Neanderthals make me look fat? 1.3870 0.03520 292 197 77 18
496 Too bad we’re prehistoric. This has the makings of a very compelling narrative. 1.3870 0.03553 292 198 75 19
497 I'm starting to think they'll be the death of me. 1.3870 0.03651 292 201 69 22
498 Doc gave me a special shampoo. Should be gone in a week. 1.3865 0.03496 282 188 79 15
499 At least they haven't discovered fire yet. 1.3865 0.03603 282 191 73 18
500 I found them on Amazon. 1.3865 0.03906 282 200 55 27
501 It probably goes without saying but you should get tested. 1.3865 0.03532 282 189 77 16
502 I liked our neighbors more when they were just gatherers... 1.3865 0.03638 282 192 71 19
503 I’m not judging you, but I didn’t have parasites when we met. 1.3865 0.03774 282 196 63 23
504 It looks weird,but after a half-hour session,I feel reinvigorated. 1.3865 0.03672 282 193 69 20
505 I can't wait until these annoying little bastards are extinct. 1.3865 0.03707 282 194 67 21
506 What can I say? Men are just more attracted to me. 1.3865 0.03603 282 191 73 18
507 For your information I only shared a towel with her. 1.3857 0.03548 280 191 72 17
508 The Doctor says they should be gone in 2-3 thousand years. 1.3857 0.03792 280 195 62 23
509 Half of my kid's class has them. 1.3857 0.03724 280 193 66 21
510 Once they discover protein, we could be in trouble. 1.3857 0.03512 280 187 78 15
511 A little to the right. 1.3857 0.03724 280 193 66 21
512 Do you have any humanicide? 1.3857 0.03655 280 191 70 19
513 Would you mind helping me bring in the groceries? 1.3857 0.03655 280 191 70 19
514 I wish someone would discover fire already so we could light that citronella candle. 1.3857 0.03530 280 195 65 20
515 Well they do worry me, but I don't think they have much of a future. 1.3854 0.03482 288 193 79 16
516 Can you check me for humans, please? 1.3854 0.03517 288 194 77 17
517 I liked it better when they were just gatherers. 1.3852 0.03730 283 196 65 22
518 The Ice Age can’t come soon enough, Doris. 1.3846 0.03601 286 195 72 19
519 This is how their dependency on fossil fuels begins. 1.3846 0.03735 286 199 64 23
520 Honey, I think I have humans. 1.3846 0.03767 286 200 62 24
521 Can I keep them, they're small and won't eat much and I'll take them for walks & clean up their litter box..! Can I Ma, can I..? 1.3846 0.03567 286 194 74 18
522 They're lousy hunters but their paintings aren't bad. 1.3846 0.03702 286 198 66 22
523 Becoming a ride-share was the worst decision of my very miserable life. 1.3846 0.03567 286 194 74 18
524 There's a new acupuncture clinic over in the east valley 1.3846 0.03635 286 199 66 21
525 It's evolved into a particularly resistant strain. 1.3838 0.03652 284 195 69 20
526 My advice, never become a political symbol. 1.3838 0.03752 284 198 63 23
527 I think I rolled in a pile of Cro Magnons. 1.3838 0.03652 284 195 69 20
528 My wife thinks they look good on me. 1.3838 0.03851 284 201 57 26
529 How many times have I told you to take those things off before you come inside the cave? 1.3838 0.03785 284 199 61 24
530 It's lice AND men. 1.3838 0.03785 284 199 61 24
531 Serves me right for putting Gulliver's Travels on their summer reading list. 1.3838 0.03548 284 192 75 17
532 I’d rather have fleas, like everybody else. 1.3838 0.03583 284 193 73 18
533 Do they make me look fat? 1.3806 0.03870 268 188 58 22
534 It's the endless chanting that finally gets to you. 1.3806 0.03834 268 187 60 21
535 In their mythology, all of this is taking place on the back of a giant turtle. 1.3806 0.03723 268 184 66 18
536 Fresh hors d'oeuvres, as requested. 1.3806 0.03723 268 187 61 19
537 My kid picked them up at school and now the whole family has them. 1.3796 0.03555 274 185 74 15
538 Don't worry, they'll soon be extinct. 1.3796 0.03738 274 190 64 20
539 One more and I’ll have the full set. 1.3796 0.03774 274 191 62 21
540 I have it again - that feeling of pins and needles. 1.3796 0.03702 274 189 66 19
541 My skin care routine wasn't effective enough, so I've hired some estheticians. 1.3796 0.03629 274 187 70 17
542 Where do we keep the hominid spray? 1.3796 0.03629 274 187 70 17
543 Don’t worry when winter comes they’ll die off. 1.3796 0.03629 274 187 70 17
544 It's an accommodation versus confrontation strategy. 1.3796 0.03629 274 187 70 17
545 Please Gary, the gender inclusive term is cave PEOPLE. 1.3796 0.03844 274 193 58 23
546 The school nurse said I have to go home so it doesn't spread. 1.3796 0.03702 274 189 66 19
547 I'm telling you, they're driving me to an early extinction. 1.3796 0.03666 274 188 68 18
548 I still worry that prehistory will be painted by the survivors. 1.3796 0.03629 274 187 70 17
549 They're so primitive and harmless. What can go wrong? 1.3796 0.03809 274 192 60 22
550 But Mom, they tickle me and they run around and sing and stuff. Can I keep them, please? Please? 1.3796 0.03774 274 191 62 21
551 It’s embarrassing, I know! I contracted them during my summer trip to the Neander Valley. 1.3796 0.03774 274 191 62 21
552 I didn't believe in acupuncture either until I tried it 1.3796 0.03666 274 188 68 18
553 Guess who's the new mascot for the Republican Party? 1.3792 0.04068 269 195 46 28
554 Nasty little creatures. I say we get rid of them now and prevent trouble down the line. 1.3787 0.03720 272 188 65 19
555 Yes but I'm worried if I get rid of them they'll infect the whole planet. 1.3787 0.03792 272 190 61 21
556 Symbiotic relationship my ass. 1.3787 0.03683 272 187 67 18
557 I need to change shampoos. 1.3787 0.03646 272 186 69 17
558 What d'ya mean ... kill us, stuff us and put us in some museum? I think they're cute! 1.3787 0.03683 272 187 67 18
559 I gathered a nice bunch of hunters today. 1.3787 0.03720 272 188 65 19
560 Just think, after they kill us off, they’re going to figure out a way to destroy the entire planet. 1.3787 0.03756 272 189 63 20
561 I forgot to put on the collar. 1.3787 0.03792 272 190 61 21
562 Some days I do get tired of all the nit-picking. 1.3787 0.03571 272 184 73 15
563 'Bit further down...Oh yeah that's the spot!" 1.3787 0.03683 272 187 67 18
564 Don't worry, these aren't the kind that cause Lyme disease. 1.3778 0.03549 270 182 73 14
565 It's called fashion, Linda 1.3778 0.03738 270 187 64 19
566 Spearmen is my favorite flavor. 1.3778 0.03738 270 187 64 19
567 I swear she told me she was clean. 1.3778 0.03953 270 193 52 25
568 They forgot we dont forget. 1.3769 0.03912 260 183 56 21
569 I’m never booking on Cave.com again without checking the ratings first. 1.3769 0.03718 268 185 65 18
570 They usually kill themselves off pretty quickly. 1.3769 0.03565 268 181 73 14
571 These things are killing me. Know where I can get some homicide? 1.3769 0.03756 268 186 63 19
572 They’re just a bunch of little pricks ! 1.3769 0.03937 268 191 53 24
573 Global warming is bringing them further north. 1.3769 0.03642 268 183 69 16
574 Doesn’t hurt much-it’s just a few tiny pricks. 1.3769 0.03681 268 184 67 17
575 I'll never forget the little people who got me here. 1.3769 0.03866 268 189 57 22
576 These pests will be the death of us. 1.3769 0.03681 268 184 67 17
577 I thought we could use a little entertainment while the ice melts. 1.3769 0.03793 268 187 61 20
578 A sort of tingling up and down my spine, Doc 1.3769 0.03565 268 181 73 14
579 I call them lawyers. 1.3769 0.03718 268 185 65 18
580 I know, I know, but they just seem to scratch me where I itch. 1.3769 0.03718 268 185 65 18
581 They scratch my back. I show them where the good water holes are. 1.3769 0.03642 268 183 69 16
582 They’re acting like Neanderthals. 1.3769 0.03793 268 187 61 20
583 You were right, never pick up hitchhikers. 1.3769 0.03793 268 187 61 20
584 That’s the last time I buy acupuncture on Groupon. 1.3769 0.03604 268 182 71 15
585 Look, I just got home. I don't need you on my back too. 1.3759 0.03621 266 181 70 15
586 I preferred the blind men. 1.3759 0.04029 266 192 48 26
587 Its a good thing they are small and not too smart 1.3759 0.03660 266 182 68 16
588 Yes it's a mammoth responsibility. 1.3759 0.03812 266 186 60 20
589 Oh, they just run around, yelling Impeach! Impeach! 1.3759 0.04098 266 194 44 28
590 Finally found the cavemen action figures little Johnny was asking for 1.3759 0.03812 266 186 60 20
591 I sure hope this isn’t the same group working on the wheel. 1.3750 0.03868 264 186 57 21
592 How did you get rid of yours? 1.3750 0.03713 256 175 66 15
593 We have a symbiotic relationship; they scratch my back and I fertilize their fields. 1.3750 0.03755 264 183 63 18
594 The politically correct term is "little hunters." 1.3750 0.03713 256 175 66 15
595 They take care of whatever itches and just a little water washes them right out. 1.3750 0.03716 264 182 65 17
596 Oh them? They’re with the IRS, it’s death by a thousand little cuts. 1.3750 0.03978 264 189 51 24
597 Don't worry. I'm sure they'll be extinct before we know it. 1.3750 0.03830 264 185 59 20
598 Honestly, it's better than fleas. 1.3740 0.03533 262 176 74 12
599 They're bad this time of year. 1.3740 0.03491 262 175 76 11
600 Best massage ever! 1.3740 0.03888 262 185 56 21
601 Uber. 1.3740 0.03734 262 181 64 17
602 Don't you just hate it when 'The Man' won't get off your back? 1.3740 0.03850 262 184 58 20
603 Down...and a little to the left 1.3740 0.03850 262 184 58 20
604 I'd kill them but they're cute and what harm could they possibly do? 1.3740 0.03773 262 182 62 18
605 'Yes, they're annoying, but I can always find a place at the watering hole and I'm never asked over by the in-laws. 1.3740 0.03850 262 184 58 20
606 If this is the best they've got, they' will be extinct before you can say brontosaurus. 1.3721 0.03966 258 184 52 22
607 They're becoming a mammoth problem. 1.3720 0.03853 250 174 59 17
608 It's when they start singing at night that's really annoying 1.3711 0.03870 256 180 57 19
609 Hi, Honey, where's the DEET ? 1.3711 0.03708 256 176 65 15
610 Don't go outside without putting on repellent 1.3711 0.03870 256 180 57 19
611 Once I shake them off, will you help me stomp 'em? 1.3711 0.03666 256 175 67 14
612 We're here for our portrait. 1.3710 0.03787 248 171 62 15
613 Do these Homo Sapiens make my ass look too big 1.3710 0.03915 248 174 56 18
614 The've got a mammoth task in front of them 1.3710 0.03915 248 174 56 18
615 Remember the good ol' days when we only had monkeys on our back? 1.3710 0.04038 248 177 50 21
616 OK, I collected seven of them. Now get them to paint the walls. 1.3701 0.03809 254 177 60 17
617 I guess it's time to roll over and play dead again. 1.3701 0.03767 254 176 62 16
618 These little parasites think they’re going to rule the world someday. Ha! 1.3701 0.04008 254 182 50 22
619 Oh Ralph, that looks like a really bad case of Neanderthal! 1.3701 0.03889 254 179 56 19
620 Don't worry. There's no scientific proof that these things are even real. 1.3701 0.03849 254 178 58 18
621 "They seemed nice at first but then I realized they were just a bunch of neanderthals." 1.3701 0.03767 254 176 62 16
622 I think I walked through a nest of something. 1.3701 0.03726 254 175 64 15
623 I don't care. It feels good. 1.3699 0.03893 246 172 57 17
624 I just wish I could get everyone off my back. 1.3699 0.03893 246 172 57 17
625 We’ve got a Mammoth tick problem 1.3699 0.03763 246 169 63 14
626 I don't have the heart to tell them they didn't discover a new planet. 1.3695 0.03775 249 172 62 15
627 My doctor said it's just a matter of time -- come the summer, they'll all be down in Florida. 1.3690 0.03910 252 178 55 19
628 The Doctor said to call once they make fire. 1.3690 0.03744 252 174 63 15
629 My feelings about them are evolving. 1.3684 0.03837 247 172 59 16
630 I tell ya, Pete, there are too many backstabbers out there. 1.3680 0.03889 250 176 56 18
631 Between the copays and my ridiculous deductible, I'm hoping they simply go away on their own. 1.3680 0.03889 250 176 56 18
632 And you're sure you never cheated on me? 1.3680 0.03971 250 178 52 20
633 They say down in Florida they get as big as your trunk. 1.3680 0.03847 250 175 58 17
634 To think that these idiots will beat us in Evolution roulette. 1.3680 0.03930 250 177 54 19
635 Yes, the little pricks ARE becoming annoying! 1.3680 0.03889 250 176 56 18
636 It’s all fun and games ‘til I stop, drop, and roll. 1.3680 0.03763 250 173 62 15
637 Some days I wish I were a carnivore. 1.3680 0.03588 250 169 70 11
638 Normally I'd tell them to stop, but they're scratching that one spot I just can't reach. 1.3680 0.03677 250 171 66 13
639 Yeah, I hired them to kill the fleas. 1.3680 0.03971 250 178 52 20
640 If I could only get these humans off my back, I feel I could amount to something. 1.3680 0.03930 250 177 54 19
641 At first they tickled, but they're all organic and my posture's never been better 1.3680 0.03720 250 172 64 14
642 You don't need to say it, Larry. I should have listened to you and ordered the flea collar instead. 1.3680 0.03677 250 171 66 13
643 What do I care anyway? I'm going extinct. 1.3680 0.03930 250 177 54 19
644 ‘Mark, what is a “cootie”?’ 1.3678 0.03890 242 169 57 16
645 Do you see them this time, Harry? I'm tellin' ya, either there are seven dwarfs on my back poking me with spears or I'm gonna start layin' off the hooch." 1.3669 0.03867 248 174 57 17
646 In my experience, there’s no need for special shampoos. Just wait a bit. They’ll kill each other off on their own. 1.3669 0.03738 248 171 63 14
647 Go to the bathroom in a cave one time, and suddenly you're the bad guy. 1.3669 0.04073 248 179 47 22
648 They keep rooting for Trump, so I ignore them. 1.3669 0.03992 248 177 51 20
649 Oh, just a bunch of pin pricks. They're harmless. 1.3669 0.03694 248 170 65 13
650 The doctor said they should be gone in a few thousand years. 1.3669 0.03951 248 176 53 19
651 Not to worry. They're just measuring for the cave paintings. 1.3669 0.03782 248 172 61 15
652 Just wait until they find out how much our tusks are worth. 1.3669 0.03992 248 177 51 20
653 They grow on you 1.3667 0.03821 240 166 60 14
654 It takes a village. 1.3665 0.03988 221 153 55 13
655 It's okay, they spend most of their time fighting each other. 1.3663 0.03651 243 165 67 11
656 You're looking at me like I have 8 heads. 1.3663 0.03877 243 170 57 16
657 Draw a picture — it’ll last longer. 1.3663 0.03833 243 169 59 15
658 Nothing seems to get rid of this mandruff. 1.3659 0.03972 246 175 52 19
659 Acupuncture is helping me to cope with my fear of extinction 1.3659 0.03757 246 170 62 14
660 I let them keep the fleas and whatever else they find. 1.3659 0.03576 246 166 70 10
661 It’s fatal, but the doc says it’s still in it’s early stages 1.3659 0.03887 246 173 56 17
662 I thought humans were done with the whole paleo diet thing. 1.3659 0.03801 246 171 60 15
663 Head & Shoulders, Why? 1.3659 0.03844 246 172 58 16
664 You STILL think this is a nice neighbourhood? 1.3659 0.03801 246 171 60 15
665 We're so much more evolved than they are. 1.3659 0.03713 246 169 64 13
666 The doctor called it "pachydermatitis". 1.3659 0.04095 246 178 46 22
667 I was skeptical at first too, but it’s really helped with my sciatica. 1.3659 0.03972 246 175 52 19
668 They mistake forbearance for passivity 1.3659 0.03713 246 177 53 16
669 They are beginning to get under my skin! 1.3659 0.03576 246 166 70 10
670 Can you tell if they're the bad kind? 1.3659 0.03801 246 171 60 15
671 Tour group 1.3659 0.03757 246 170 62 14
672 And they think they have conquered us. 1.3648 0.03820 244 170 59 15
673 Every one is staring at me, do I have something in my teeth? 1.3648 0.03820 244 170 59 15
674 The Ice Age can’t come soon enough” 1.3648 0.03546 244 164 71 9
675 The ride-share option has been really popular. 1.3648 0.04035 244 175 49 20
676 They call it acupuncture but it’s more like a mammoth pain in the neck. 1.3648 0.03864 244 171 57 16
677 Floresiensis didn't tell me she had a case of the neanderthals. 1.3648 0.03951 244 173 53 18
678 I'm saving them for lunch. 1.3648 0.03686 244 167 65 12
679 According to my pachydermatologist, I can either stand under a waterfall or just wait for evolution to take its course. 1.3648 0.03864 244 171 57 16
680 Since that trip to Lascaux I can't get rid of them 1.3648 0.03951 244 173 53 18
681 I know you're afraid of spears, honey, but I really think you should try this. My headaches are gone and I've been sleeping so much better. 1.3648 0.03686 244 167 65 12
682 Remember when these didn't show up until late Spring? 1.3648 0.03993 244 174 51 19
683 They are going to be the death of me. 1.3648 0.03864 244 171 57 16
684 I thought we'd eat in tonight. 1.3648 0.04035 244 175 49 20
685 Just my luck, I'm pretty sure I ended up in the placebo group. 1.3648 0.03951 244 173 53 18
686 Well they are not accurate and they don’t puncture. 1.3648 0.04035 244 175 49 20
687 I'm trying out the new nit removal crew. 1.3648 0.03908 244 172 55 17
688 I’d be worried if they were more organized 1.3648 0.03731 244 168 63 13
689 I finally remembered to bring home leftovers 1.3644 0.03814 236 163 60 13
690 First it was the glacier, now this . 1.3644 0.03832 247 173 58 16
691 She said she was clean. 1.3636 0.03795 242 168 60 14
692 They call it acupuncture. You should try it. 1.3636 0.03928 242 171 54 17
693 I can't believe that we're the ones headed for extinction. 1.3636 0.03840 242 169 58 15
694 Now if they would all just move lower and to the left. 1.3636 0.03795 242 168 60 14
695 What doesn't kill you makes you extinct." 1.3636 0.03795 242 168 60 14
696 Just you wait until it's your turn to be the elephant in the room. 1.3633 0.03763 245 170 61 14
697 I refuse to let these become the dominant species. 1.3633 0.03808 245 171 59 15
698 Wanna try one? They stick in your teeth, but they come with their own toothpicks. 1.3629 0.03847 237 165 58 14
699 Have you noticed more parasites with the warming climate? 1.3625 0.03769 240 166 61 13
700 Wait until you see the revisionist history. 1.3625 0.03860 240 168 57 15
701 Are those homo erectus your're wearing, or are you just happy to see me? 1.3625 0.04122 240 174 45 21
702 Hey Larry, do you have any Cave Man repellent? 1.3625 0.04037 240 172 49 19
703 It's their team building day. 1.3625 0.04037 240 172 49 19
704 I don’t know what they are but my sciatica feels better. 1.3625 0.03675 240 164 65 11
705 The pitcher and catcher fell off on the way over here. 1.3625 0.03815 240 167 59 14
706 A little irritating perhaps, but what could go wrong? 1.3625 0.03769 240 166 61 13
707 This is what happens when you lie down with humans 1.3625 0.03949 240 170 53 17
708 Jeez, Louise, it happened again. Where's the neanderthal spray? 1.3625 0.03905 240 169 55 16
709 At this rate, these guys will become extinct in no time. 1.3625 0.04164 240 175 43 22
710 They're biodegradable and come with a lifetime guarantee. 1.3625 0.03815 240 167 59 14
711 There are days like today when you need thick skin 1.3625 0.03627 240 168 60 12
712 Okay, I admit it. I've been sleeping with Janice, and her cave has humans. 1.3625 0.03769 240 168 58 14
713 You told me they couldn't be sexually transmitted. 1.3625 0.03860 240 168 57 15
714 I don’t think the mandruff shampoo is working.” 1.3625 0.03905 240 169 55 16
715 Hard to believe we’ll be extinct but these idiots will go on. 1.3625 0.04037 240 172 49 19
716 Probably from the hotel mattress. But let's not get into that. 1.3625 0.03675 240 164 65 11
717 My doctor prescribed Neaderthalbegone. 1.3625 0.03579 240 162 69 9
718 Apparently they also do interior painting. 1.3625 0.03949 240 170 53 17
719 These things are going to drive me extinct. 1.3625 0.03949 240 170 53 17
720 You can't even take a nice walk in the bush anymore without picking up something. 1.3625 0.03722 240 165 63 12
721 Remember when all they could do was swing from limb to limb? 1.3621 0.03805 232 160 60 12
722 They're looking for the elephant in the room. 1.3621 0.04134 232 167 46 19
723 I travel with my own security. 1.3621 0.04089 232 166 48 18
724 Yea, I keep them around to remind myself we are not the only ones headed for extinction. 1.3621 0.03949 232 163 54 15
725 The worst part is that I really have to sneeze. 1.3613 0.03788 238 167 57 14
726 I guarantee, someday humans will talk about the elephant in the room. 1.3610 0.03847 241 169 57 15
727 Nothing to worry about.... just a bunch of little pricks. 1.3605 0.04119 233 168 46 19
728 It was kind of funny when they jumped me but honestly, it's getting old. 1.3605 0.03792 233 161 60 12
729 The doctor said it should clear up by the next ice age. 1.3605 0.03840 233 162 58 13
730 These little pests are going to drive us to extinction? You gotta be kidding! 1.3602 0.03947 236 170 50 16
731 Oh yeah, every spring. Great for the pores. 1.3602 0.03562 236 159 69 8
732 Go ahead and try one - they're delicious! 1.3602 0.03711 236 162 63 11
733 These hunters are such a bunch of little pricks. 1.3602 0.03901 236 166 55 15
734 It stings a little, but it's done wonders for my arthritis. 1.3602 0.03759 236 163 61 12
735 It seems there's more of them every year. 1.3602 0.03759 236 163 61 12
736 I'm telling you, their little feet do wonders on my shoulder tension. 1.3590 0.03730 234 161 62 11
737 Its fun to watch their reaction when I do snow angels. 1.3590 0.04014 234 167 50 17
738 Yes, they are a bit annoying, but my back ache went away. 1.3590 0.03922 234 165 54 15
739 The flea collar was a total bust. 1.3590 0.03779 234 162 60 12
740 It's hard to believe, but WE will be the ones who go extinct. 1.3586 0.04067 237 171 47 19
741 Just because I have Cavemen doesn’t mean I’m cheating on you, Eloise. 1.3586 0.03841 237 166 57 14
742 They’re annoying, but word is they’ll be extinct soon. 1.3586 0.04023 237 170 49 18
743 They're so cute when they're little. 1.3586 0.03887 237 167 55 15
744 They say they’re my friends but I get the sense that I’m being stabbed in the back 1.3586 0.03747 237 164 61 12
745 At first they were cute, but now I'm thinking of bringing in an exterminator. 1.3586 0.03887 237 167 55 15
746 Don't worry, my doctor says I'm no longer contagious. 1.3586 0.03887 237 167 55 15
747 No one seems to have told them the only way to eat a mammoth is one bite at a time. 1.3586 0.03841 237 166 57 14
748 ...and they work for peanuts. 1.3586 0.04154 237 173 43 21
749 I always thought the diabetes would get me first. 1.3578 0.03596 232 159 64 9
750 I think my homo simplex is flaring up again. 1.3578 0.03990 232 165 51 16
751 One day, they’ll be the death of me. 1.3578 0.03596 232 157 67 8
752 They make great backscratchers. What could possibly go wrong? 1.3578 0.03895 232 163 55 14
753 They say they want to be symbiotes but a little voice inside keeps screaming, 'Stop, drop, and roll!' 1.3578 0.03798 232 161 59 12
754 Don't worry,they're just Neanderthals. 1.3578 0.04082 232 167 47 18
755 I hope the acupuncture works. My back is killing me. 1.3578 0.03990 232 165 51 16
756 Can we talk about the white elephant in the room? 1.3578 0.04173 232 169 43 20
757 My mandruff is out of control." 1.3578 0.03943 232 164 53 15
758 I’m afraid it’s a terminal condition. 1.3578 0.03798 232 161 59 12
759 Hey, before we eat them, what do you say we paint some cute pictures of them on the wall? 1.3565 0.03867 230 161 56 13
760 It's kinda like Climate change. It's not a big deal until there's too many. 1.3565 0.04012 230 164 50 16
761 I know, I know, never pick up hitchhikers. 1.3562 0.04048 219 155 50 14
762 I can't wait for the next Ice Age to get these annoying pests off my back! 1.3553 0.03937 228 161 53 14
763 I wish they’d leave already. They’re driving me to extinction. 1.3553 0.04129 228 165 45 18
764 They were all out of flea collars in my size. 1.3553 0.04034 228 165 46 17
765 My Doc said acupuncture might help my back pain. 1.3553 0.03787 228 158 59 11
766 Did you use up all the Off spray again? 1.3553 0.03937 228 164 47 16
767 How can I get rid of these damn pricks ? 1.3550 0.04044 231 166 48 17
768 Mostly, they just fight with one another. 1.3545 0.03981 220 155 52 13
769 The vet says I picked them up on my last trip. 1.3545 0.04032 220 156 50 14
770 Acupuncture is great! You should give it a try! 1.3545 0.03875 220 153 56 11
771 They say it's supposed to be therapeutic. 1.3545 0.03875 220 153 56 11
772 All I know is, when you have an itchy back, there's nothing that works better. 1.3545 0.04134 220 158 46 16
773 This Uber gig is gonna kill me. 1.3545 0.04134 220 158 46 16
774 This Uber gig not only brings me extra cash but also helps defoliate my hide. 1.3545 0.03928 220 154 54 12
775 They told me they would have my back. 1.3545 0.03821 220 154 55 11
776 I wish they'd just focus on cave paintings like the others. 1.3545 0.04032 220 156 50 14
777 My dermatologist said it should clear up on its own. 1.3545 0.04184 220 159 44 17
778 My pachy-dermatologist prescribed acupuncture for my wooly skin. 1.3545 0.03928 220 154 54 12
779 Sadly, evolution selects for the ability to irritate 1.3545 0.04032 220 156 50 14
780 I stepped on their first fire. I’d be mad too. 1.3545 0.03821 220 152 58 10
781 I'm collecting the whole set. 1.3545 0.03928 220 154 54 12
782 The doctor recommended acupuncture. 1.3545 0.03928 220 154 54 12
783 I just can't get rid of them no matter what I do. I swear, in 10,000 years we'll all be in the grave but they'll still be here. 1.3545 0.04134 220 158 46 16
784 Be careful, there's a whole nest of 'em down by the tar pits. 1.3545 0.03928 220 154 54 12
785 ‘My doctor says the next Ice Age might get rid of them.’ 1.3545 0.03766 220 151 60 9
786 Pesky little critters, yes, but they should be extinct soon. 1.3545 0.04134 220 158 46 16
787 I know, right? But you gotta admire their ambition. 1.3545 0.03875 220 153 56 11
788 I know they are cute, but if you don't get rid of them, they will get rid of us. 1.3545 0.03420 220 158 54 8
789 My doctor says it's mandruff. 1.3540 0.04246 226 166 40 20
790 Good news, honey--our HMO covers acupuncture.” 1.3540 0.03909 226 159 54 13
791 Luckily they are all vegans. 1.3540 0.03807 226 157 58 11
792 I got half a dozen backscratchers on sale. 1.3540 0.03959 226 160 52 14
793 They're here for my weekly acupuncture treatment 1.3540 0.03858 226 158 56 12
794 Got any Head and Shoulders? 1.3540 0.03909 226 159 54 13
795 Ever have one of those days where you feel the whole world is out to get you? 1.3540 0.03959 226 160 52 14
796 At least they stopped making fire. 1.3540 0.03909 226 159 54 13
797 My doctor said it’s a bad case of Neanderthals. 1.3540 0.03858 226 158 56 12
798 My dermatologist says I'll only get rid of them when they become gatherers. 1.3540 0.03858 226 158 56 12
799 These guys seem a bit underdressed for the the cold snap we are expecting. 1.3537 0.03971 229 163 51 15
800 We got a raw deal on this cave -- it's infested with men. 1.3532 0.04003 218 154 51 13
801 Why would I throw them off? They're hunting lice. 1.3532 0.03896 218 152 55 11
802 Only when I laugh. 1.3532 0.03896 218 152 55 11
803 My doctor suggested I try acupuncture." 1.3532 0.04003 218 154 51 13
804 Forget the elephant, I’m the mammoth in the room. 1.3532 0.04158 218 157 45 16
805 I’m letting them wipe themselves out. 1.3532 0.04055 218 155 49 14
806 I have to give up this Uber gig. I feel like I spend all day just listening to people argue. 1.3532 0.04158 218 157 45 16
807 Actually, it feels pretty good. 1.3532 0.03950 218 153 53 12
808 Best of all, Medicare covers it! 1.3527 0.03878 224 157 55 12
809 The fresh appetizers came with cocktail spears. 1.3527 0.03980 224 159 51 14
810 I just found out that trampling someone’s village makes them a tad mad 1.3527 0.03980 224 159 51 14
811 I borrowed Jimmy’s comb, it was picture day what was I supposed to do? 1.3527 0.03980 224 159 51 14
812 We need to face it, the little people will prevail 1.3527 0.03980 224 159 51 14
813 You know, I'm getting a little tired of being the only hunter-gatherer around here. 1.3527 0.04128 224 162 45 17
814 I guess they’re taking a break from drawing on the walls. 1.3527 0.03826 224 156 57 11
815 It’s kind of like those pedicures with the fish 1.3524 0.03993 227 162 50 15
816 Where do you want the appetizers? 1.3519 0.04079 216 154 48 14
817 Got a comb? 1.3519 0.04131 216 155 46 15
818 I'm trying to get them to scratch that spot that drives me nuts. 1.3519 0.03917 216 156 48 12
819 I'm not sure about this acupuncture thing. 1.3519 0.04131 216 155 46 15
820 Extinction actually sounds good right now. 1.3519 0.04079 216 154 48 14
821 It's not fleas, it's worse...it's poly-ticks! 1.3519 0.03917 216 151 54 11
822 Damned stylist didn't sterilize her equipment and now look at me. 1.3519 0.04131 216 155 46 15
823 Don't they understand that the Ice Age is coming? Humans never get climate change. 1.3519 0.04131 216 155 46 15
824 If that kid brings lice home one more time....... 1.3519 0.03972 216 152 52 12
825 I can claim more dependents on my tax return now. 1.3519 0.04079 216 154 48 14
826 The one time I don't use protection... 1.3519 0.03917 216 153 50 12
827 It can be annoying but once in a while they scratch just that right spot! 1.3519 0.04026 216 153 50 13
828 It is supposed to stimulate my collagen. 1.3519 0.04026 216 153 50 13
829 But they're so cute and it raises their self esteem if I let them feel like they're winning. 1.3519 0.03917 216 151 54 11
830 This acupuncture therapy works wonders. 1.3519 0.04131 216 155 46 15
831 Do we still have those collars? 1.3519 0.04026 216 153 50 13
832 Yeah there was an outbreak at Timmy's preschool. 1.3519 0.04026 216 153 50 13
833 Don't even ask, Susan... 1.3519 0.04026 216 153 50 13
834 I took the shortcut through the long grass again. 1.3519 0.03862 216 150 56 10
835 Actually, I think they're kind of cute. 1.3519 0.03972 216 152 52 12
836 Its hard to imagine that they survive us. 1.3519 0.04131 216 157 43 16
837 What side effects? They make my hair thick and shiny, and my back feels great! 1.3519 0.04131 216 155 46 15
838 Oh yeah, that’s the spot. 1.3519 0.04079 216 154 48 14
839 I don't think acupuncture will solve our endangerment. 1.3519 0.04026 216 153 50 13
840 Gentrification. 1.3519 0.04384 216 160 36 20
841 They are ornery little bastards, but they do help with the fleas. 1.3514 0.03951 222 157 51 13
842 It doesn't really bother me. They're just a bunch of little pricks. 1.3514 0.03899 222 156 54 12
843 They’re on a paleo diet. 1.3514 0.03951 222 157 52 13
844 Hopefully none of them have West Nile. 1.3514 0.03899 222 156 54 12
845 Cute little creatures but their brain is too small to survive a harsh world. 1.3514 0.03739 222 153 60 9
846 I know...you hate when I take work home. 1.3514 0.04201 222 162 42 18
847 No, they're not outdoor men. They are cave men. 1.3514 0.04152 222 161 44 17
848 Am I expected to tip all of them?" 1.3514 0.04103 222 162 43 17
849 I feel lousy 1.3514 0.03951 222 157 52 13
850 My back is itchy. Do you see anything? 1.3514 0.03847 222 155 56 11
851 Don't worry, soon they'll be extinct. 1.3514 0.04103 222 160 46 16
852 Would you like to try my new backscratcher? 1.3514 0.03739 222 153 60 9
853 Just got our extinction notice. Looks like we're not getting our deposit back, either. 1.3514 0.03572 222 152 63 7
854 I used to sit around hurting just like you before I discovered acupuncture 1.3514 0.03951 222 157 52 13
855 Yes, I lost my flea collar. 1.3514 0.03899 222 156 54 12
856 Thank God we live on Lilliput. 1.3514 0.03739 222 153 60 9
857 No more backaches since I started getting acupuncture. 1.3514 0.03847 222 155 56 11
858 The dawn of allergy testing. 1.3514 0.04103 222 160 46 16
859 After they’re done aerating my coat I’ll eat them. 1.3511 0.04065 225 162 47 16
860 You think fleas are bad? 1.3511 0.04015 225 161 49 15
861 They are so cute I adopted the whole litter. 1.3500 0.04076 220 158 47 15
862 They're still there, aren't they? 1.3498 0.03988 223 159 50 14
863 They evolved from the monkeys on my back. 1.3470 0.03873 219 154 54 11
864 These Neanderthals really get my dander up! 1.3470 0.04032 219 157 48 14
865 It’s no surprise they haven’t discovered the wheel yet. 1.3470 0.04333 219 163 36 20
866 This UBER side gig really isn't paying off like I hoped. 1.3470 0.04032 219 157 48 14
867 That’s the last thing I order on Amazon without reading the reviews first 1.3470 0.04032 219 157 48 14
868 Why do they make us seem so much smaller in their paintings? 1.3470 0.04284 219 162 38 19
869 I know you’re a skeptic about acupuncture but you really should give these guys a try 1.3470 0.03873 219 154 54 11
870 Doc says I have 'fleanderthals'. 1.3470 0.04032 219 157 48 14
871 If we draw an image on the cave wall showing them killing us, we could set back the science of anthropology for eons. 1.3470 0.04185 219 160 42 17
872 Be careful, they’re contagious 1.3470 0.04135 219 159 44 16
873 I’m starting to itch, would you mind checking me for people? 1.3470 0.03980 219 156 50 13
874 Just like America's democracy, extinction by a thousand cuts. 1.3470 0.03873 219 154 54 11
875 The appetizers are ready. 1.3470 0.03980 219 156 50 13
876 Damn, it's another homo sapien infestation. 1.3429 0.03974 210 149 50 11
877 I do not recommend that new chiropractor. 1.3429 0.04087 210 151 46 13
878 A real deal. One Day delivery, back scratchers from Amazon 1.3429 0.04357 210 155 36 18
879 They get the parts where I can't scratch. 1.3429 0.03916 210 148 52 10
880 It’s the latest craze at the studio; caveman yoga. 1.3429 0.04142 210 152 44 14
881 I hired them to paint my portrait -- now we're haggling about the price. 1.3429 0.04031 210 150 48 12
882 They told me to use a fine toothed comb. 1.3429 0.04197 210 153 42 15
883 Somehow they’ve already invented racism 1.3429 0.04409 210 157 34 19
884 I hope they go extinct before we do. 1.3429 0.04304 210 155 38 17
885 How are we the ones going extinct? 1.3429 0.03974 210 149 50 11
886 Well Joe, it's a symbiotic relationship that should insure our survival long into the future. 1.3429 0.04031 210 150 48 12
887 They’re foraging” 1.3429 0.03916 210 148 52 10
888 Okay, okay, taking a shortcut through Lilliput wasn't such a great idea. 1.3429 0.04031 210 150 48 12
889 These guys? Destroy the planet? Come on. 1.3429 0.04197 210 153 42 15
890 I told you Skin-So-Soft doesn't work. 1.3429 0.04087 210 151 46 13
891 They used to be cute until they invented those little spears. 1.3429 0.04031 210 150 48 12
892 They're a sure sign of Global Warming. 1.3429 0.04304 210 155 38 17
893 They came with the coat 1.3429 0.04142 210 151 43 14
894 I’m their whole world 1.3429 0.03974 210 149 50 11
895 Oh, they'll be gone after November. 1.3429 0.04142 210 152 44 14
896 I can't wait until these little things are extinct. 1.3413 0.04111 208 150 45 13
897 Don't worry, I'm sure they won't spread. 1.3413 0.03694 208 143 59 6
898 I’ve been told they’re not contagious. 1.3413 0.03757 208 144 57 7
899 It’s some kind of parasite. 1.3413 0.04277 208 153 39 16
900 And then I thought "what the heck, they probably couldn't do any harm." 1.3413 0.03938 208 147 51 10
901 The victor gets to do my portrait. 1.3413 0.03996 208 148 49 11
902 Honey, we have humans again. Call the exterminator. 1.3413 0.04111 208 150 45 13
903 I aspired to more than being the elephant in the room. 1.3413 0.04054 208 149 47 12
904 Can you help me get rid of those pricks? 1.3413 0.04167 208 151 43 14
905 I think it’s helping my back pain. 1.3413 0.03818 208 145 55 8
906 Hey, do you have a good dermatologist? I keep getting a funny itching feeling on my back. 1.3413 0.04111 208 150 45 13
907 Ick, the warmer it gets the more of these things pop up. 1.3413 0.03878 208 146 53 9
908 I barely feel the prick, and it’s really helped my migraines. 1.3413 0.04167 208 151 43 14
909 They only get worse as the climate gets warmer. 1.3413 0.04054 208 149 47 12
910 I decided to do take out. You okay with that? 1.3413 0.04054 208 149 47 12
911 The doctor said I have hairpes. 1.3413 0.04111 208 150 45 13
912 Mastadandruff. 1.3413 0.04277 208 153 39 16
913 I tried the special shampoo but they're still here. 1.3413 0.03996 208 148 49 11
914 I’m still working out the kinks, but I call it ‘symbiosis’. 1.3413 0.03938 208 147 51 10
915 Be honest—does this pack of hunters make me look fat? 1.3413 0.03878 208 148 50 10
916 They're benign, just a strain of vegans. 1.3413 0.04111 208 150 45 13
917 You have to suffer for fashion. 1.3400 0.04279 200 146 40 14
918 I can't wait until they're extinct. 1.3400 0.03713 200 139 55 6
919 yeah, I work for Lyft now...these guys chose rideshare... 1.3400 0.03911 200 140 52 8
920 I don't have the heart to tell them they don't exist yet. 1.3400 0.04395 200 148 36 16
921 Get them some paint brushes. 1.3400 0.04099 200 143 45 11
922 I went to the Mastodontist, today, and he said I have an infestation of headhunters. 1.3400 0.04160 200 144 44 12
923 They’re Democrats. 1.3400 0.04395 200 148 36 16
924 Do you have anything to treat my hominits?" 1.3400 0.04099 200 143 46 11
925 They're a subspecies and won't amount to much unless the temperature picks up." 1.3400 0.04160 200 144 44 12
926 It's called acupuncture. Apparently it's all the rage. 1.3400 0.03975 200 141 50 9
927 I can’t seem to shake this off 1.3400 0.03975 200 141 50 9
928 They’re called “no-see-ems”, but you can see ‘em, right Honey? 1.3400 0.04099 200 143 46 11
929 Ugh, I think I got humans again! 1.3400 0.04038 200 142 48 10
930 Sorry , but the chimps do a far better job. 1.3400 0.04160 200 144 44 12
931 They're annoying as hell. What we need is another ice age...that'll kill them off. 1.3400 0.04099 200 143 46 11
932 I’m a lot more concerned about that meteor. 1.3400 0.04220 200 145 42 13
933 There seems to be more of these things every year... 1.3400 0.04099 200 143 46 11
934 I could shake them off and crush them into extinction -- but what's their role in the ecosystem? 1.3400 0.04220 200 145 42 13
935 I heard tobacco gets rid of them. 1.3400 0.04160 200 144 44 12
936 I forgot to spray before I went out. 1.3400 0.04038 200 142 48 10
937 Sure, they're pests, but we'll be here long after they're gone! 1.3400 0.04099 200 143 46 11
938 They’re called, “humans.” They seem harmless. 1.3400 0.04038 200 142 48 10
939 I call it "Ride Sharing". 1.3400 0.04099 200 143 46 11
940 And if I hear ‘This is a mammoth task’ once more, I swear.... 1.3400 0.04279 200 146 40 14
941 Hey, squirt me, will you?" 1.3400 0.04099 200 143 46 11
942 I Googled Amazon itch and they got here the next day. 1.3400 0.04338 200 147 38 15
943 Later in the primary season there will be fewer of them, but their jabs will be more painful 1.3400 0.03911 200 140 52 8
944 The back pain is easing ....but do you have any ideal what the bill is for 7 acupuncturists? 1.3400 0.04220 200 145 42 13
945 I picked it up in a cave, it usually kills itself off before it's a problem. 1.3400 0.03911 200 140 52 8
946 Don't you just hate mankind? 1.3400 0.04038 200 142 48 10
947 You we're wrong. Size does matter. 1.3398 0.04019 206 147 48 11
948 You ever get the feeling people are taking jabs at you behind your back? 1.3398 0.04248 206 151 40 15
949 Sorry I’m going to be late on my rent again Karen, I just feel like I’ve got a lot riding on my shoulders. 1.3398 0.04019 206 147 48 11
950 This'd be a great opportunity, if we weren't herbivores. 1.3398 0.04019 206 147 48 11
951 Yes, it was a good walk, and I picked up something on the way. 1.3398 0.04135 206 149 44 13
952 So they’ve got my back. Who’s got yours. 1.3398 0.04135 206 149 44 13
953 Only one survives the carnage and becomes their nominee.” 1.3398 0.04135 206 149 44 13
954 I thought it was acupuncture, not actual puncture. 1.3385 0.04413 195 144 36 15
955 My back scratches are so much better since they invented spears. 1.3383 0.04082 201 144 46 11
956 On the plus side, my back pain is totally cured! 1.3382 0.04042 204 146 47 11
957 The cure is worse than the fleas. 1.3382 0.04042 204 146 47 11
958 I have no idea, but I'm getting a great back scratch. 1.3382 0.04386 204 152 35 17
959 I'm gonna roll over and let them play dead for a change. 1.3382 0.04101 204 147 45 12
960 I'm more worried about climate change. 1.3382 0.04218 204 149 41 14
961 They are really just little pricks! 1.3382 0.04274 204 150 39 15
962 That citronella candle isn't doing a damn thing! 1.3382 0.03982 204 145 49 10
963 Ever since the ice age ended these damned things have been all over the place! 1.3382 0.03532 204 138 63 3
964 I say we just outlast them. 1.3382 0.04101 204 147 45 12
965 How come these idiots get to survive the Ice Age? 1.3382 0.04218 204 149 41 14
966 This new rideshare gig is killing me. 1.3382 0.03859 204 143 53 8
967 Do you ever get a stabbing pain in your back? 1.3382 0.03982 204 145 49 10
968 Apparently, they’re resistant to pesticides now. 1.3382 0.03921 204 144 51 9
969 Can we keep 'em Dad? Pleeeaase? 1.3382 0.04101 204 147 45 12
970 On the up side the fleas are gone 1.3382 0.04101 204 147 45 12
971 OMG. I am so over piercings. 1.3382 0.03921 204 144 51 9
972 What? It's supposed to help with my migraines. 1.3382 0.04274 204 150 39 15
973 I find this more relaxing than hot yoga. 1.3382 0.04042 204 146 47 11
974 Maybe I should eat more garlic. 1.3382 0.03859 204 143 53 8
975 Don't wear any of my hats. 1.3366 0.04243 202 148 40 14
976 It's been rough. Everyone wants a piece of me. 1.3366 0.04126 202 146 44 12
977 When the itching stops, I just roll over and presto!, no charge... 1.3366 0.04243 202 148 40 14
978 Apparently, they're symbionts. I don't know what that means, but I haven't been as itchy lately. 1.3366 0.03880 202 142 52 8
979 Great snack! They brought toothpicks! 1.3366 0.03942 202 143 50 9
980 I'm sure they'll stop once they find out we're the last two of our species... 1.3366 0.04066 202 145 46 11
981 they seem harmless now, but wait 2 or 3 thousand years, and then you've got real problems 1.3366 0.04185 202 147 42 13
982 They're supposed to clean my fur, but all they do is fight" 1.3366 0.03942 202 146 46 10
983 It takes a village, Marty. 1.3366 0.04243 202 148 40 14
984 At least they are not tickling the ivories 1.3366 0.04126 202 146 44 12
985 I thought they'd all gone extinct but I found a new species under my winter coat. 1.3366 0.04004 202 144 48 10
986 It kind of like having a monkey on your back, only worse. 1.3366 0.04066 202 145 46 11
987 You musn't let the little pricks get under your skin 1.3366 0.04066 202 145 46 11
988 They needed a ride, and who am I to say no? 1.3366 0.03880 202 142 52 8
989 Yeah, I stopped to play with the neighbor kids. How'd you guess? 1.3366 0.04126 202 146 44 12
990 I took your advice and introduced some divisive issues. Should be good to go in a week or so... 1.3366 0.04524 202 153 30 19
991 It's definitely some sort of infestation, but I don't think it's life threatening. 1.3366 0.04126 202 146 43 12
992 Then I mentioned something about climate change, and all hell broke loose. 1.3366 0.04185 202 147 42 13
993 I let them stick around. It makes them feel useful. 1.3351 0.03877 191 133 52 6
994 They're annoying, but my joints feel amazing. 1.3351 0.03948 191 134 50 7
995 Well, that’s it. The doctor says I have humans. 1.3351 0.04218 191 138 42 11
996 They keep my wool from getting tangled 1.3351 0.04282 191 139 40 12
997 I have just one word for you, Jake: Acupuncture. 1.3351 0.04017 191 135 48 8
998 Forgot to put on repellent today, and now look. 1.3351 0.04085 191 136 46 9
999 Climate change will wipe out these suckers eventually. 1.3351 0.04346 191 140 38 13
1000 I could have sworn you said Swift was a satirist. 1.3351 0.04409 191 141 36 14
1001 It's symbiotic: they scratch my back, I don't stomp them to death. 1.3351 0.04409 191 141 36 14
1002 It's worth the wait. They do a fabulous cut and comb out here. 1.3351 0.04409 191 141 36 14
1003 I was also skeptical about acupuncture at first. 1.3351 0.04085 191 136 46 9
1004 Don't worry -- They'll be extinct before you know it! 1.3351 0.04282 191 139 40 12
1005 They can scratch my back anytime! 1.3351 0.04017 191 135 48 8
1006 I'm gonna order that pest collar from the Amazon. 1.3351 0.04218 191 138 42 11
1007 Let’s not let it ruin date night. 1.3351 0.04218 191 138 42 11
1008 Well, I was told I won't get rid of them until the heat and humidity are gone. 1.3351 0.04471 191 142 34 15
1009 Those large brains are not working for these guys! 1.3351 0.04346 191 140 38 13
1010 It's called acupuncture. They say it works wonders. 1.3350 0.04193 197 143 42 12
1011 My acupuncturist said to leave them on for a couple of years. Apparently, studies show they’re harmless. 1.3350 0.03938 197 139 50 8
1012 They get to those hard-to-reach places. 1.3350 0.04068 197 141 46 10
1013 I'll deal with it when they advance to scorched-earth militarization. 1.3350 0.04193 197 143 42 12
1014 Beats me. They came charging out of a hole in the mountain yelling and screaming gibberish and climbed all over me. 1.3350 0.04374 197 146 36 15
1015 I'm going Paleo. 1.3350 0.04193 197 143 42 12
1016 These guys are a mammoth pain! 1.3350 0.04131 197 142 44 11
1017 Yeah, pretty good. Yourself? 1.3350 0.04068 197 141 46 10
1018 I lost my flee collar! 1.3350 0.04315 197 145 38 14
1019 It's called acupuncture, it really helps with my migraines. 1.3350 0.03938 197 139 50 8
1020 Barry suggested acupuncture. 1.3350 0.04374 197 146 36 15
1021 I haven't the heart to tell them. 1.3350 0.04004 197 140 48 9
1022 I think they make me look modern. 1.3350 0.03938 197 139 50 8
1023 I "am" big. It's the "hunter-gatherers" that got small. 1.3350 0.04374 197 146 36 15
1024 I thought it was weird at first too, but when they hit the right spot, it’s just DIVINE! 1.3350 0.04254 197 144 40 13
1025 I feel sorry for he little buggers, because how can such a small species survive in this world? 1.3350 0.04068 197 141 46 10
1026 I can't believe I'm saying this but I miss the monkeys on my back. 1.3350 0.04315 197 145 38 14
1027 The acupuncturist gave me these to use at home. 1.3350 0.04004 197 140 48 9
1028 I say we give them our invention of fire and the wheel, then I'm sure we can live on in peaceful coexistence. 1.3350 0.04131 197 142 44 11
1029 Well, it all started when I ran into some guy named Gulliver. 1.3350 0.04193 197 143 42 12
1030 Why worry? In 10,000 years we'll be extinct and they'll evolve into fleas. 1.3350 0.04131 197 142 44 11
1031 It's less the sting than the annoying buzz in your ear. 1.3350 0.04068 197 141 46 10
1032 How'd I get 'em? Slept a night at one those cheap cave motels in L.A. by the La Brea Tar Pits 1.3350 0.04254 197 144 40 13
1033 I stopped using repellant. I just wasn't comfortable with all those chemicals. 1.3350 0.03872 197 138 52 7
1034 Unless we evolve a longer tail to swat them off, I fear we will become extinct. 1.3350 0.04315 197 145 38 14
1035 I thought I’d give acupuncture a shot. 1.3350 0.04004 197 140 48 9
1036 Want to use your trunk or should I just roll over? 1.3350 0.04004 197 140 48 9
1037 They called Uber, but were happy to get a Lyft. 1.3350 0.04433 197 147 34 16
1038 This new acupuncture to go service is pretty sweet. 1.3350 0.04004 197 140 48 9
1039 I liked it better when there were monkeys on my back. 1.3350 0.04374 197 146 36 15
1040 I think I have an idea for a new cave painting. 1.3350 0.04004 197 140 48 9
1041 Nevertheless, they persist! 1.3350 0.04315 197 145 38 14
1042 They're kind of annoying, but they have some pretty funny jokes. 1.3350 0.04131 197 142 44 11
1043 Yes, but they think the world of me. 1.3350 0.04004 197 140 48 9
1044 How was your day? 1.3350 0.04193 197 143 42 12
1045 It’s supposed to release tension 1.3350 0.04068 197 141 46 10
1046 Why don't we cuddle anymore? 1.3350 0.03938 197 143 44 10
1047 My health insurance just started covering acupuncture. 1.3350 0.04004 197 140 48 9
1048 My parents believed stomping Cro-Magnons caused autism. 1.3350 0.04315 197 145 38 14
1049 Caveman acupuncture. It's the latest thing! 1.3350 0.04193 197 143 42 12
1050 I know it looks funny, but ever since my acupuncturist was eaten by the Tyrannosaurus Rex it’s all I can do. 1.3350 0.04068 197 141 46 10
1051 I'm not sure what's thicker - my hide or their skulls. 1.3333 0.04462 195 146 33 16
1052 It'll be a cold day in hell before I take the HOV lanes again. 1.3333 0.04219 195 142 41 12
1053 Mom! I was swimming in the lake. They are all over me! Get the salt. 1.3333 0.04281 195 143 39 13
1054 I put up with it all the way home because I thought they were yelling, 'Spirit! Spirit!' 1.3333 0.04342 195 144 37 14
1055 Honey... I think I’ve contracted humans... 1.3333 0.03893 195 137 51 7
1056 They’re just action figures I glued on to get me through the Pliocene in one piece. 1.3333 0.04156 195 141 43 11
1057 I must have picked them up in Tijuana 1.3333 0.04342 195 144 37 14
1058 I'm sure they'll be extinct soon. 1.3333 0.04156 195 141 43 11
1059 Well, they kind of grow on you after a while. 1.3333 0.03825 195 136 53 6
1060 I should have known better than to use the organic caveman repellent. It never works as well as the regular kind. 1.3333 0.04092 195 140 45 10
1061 I tried rolling in the mud but it only encouraged them. 1.3333 0.04027 195 139 47 9
1062 They’re Neanderthals, whaddya expect? 1.3333 0.04219 195 142 41 12
1063 I WILL try that shampoo. 1.3333 0.03960 195 138 49 8
1064 They're fighting over who gets me when I'm fossil fuel. 1.3316 0.04308 193 142 38 13
1065 You're so paranoid. What harm could theses cute little humany things do to anything? 1.3316 0.04245 193 141 40 12
1066 Don't worry about them. They're just grad students researching why we're going extinct. 1.3316 0.03914 193 136 50 7
1067 Some days I hate being vegan. 1.3316 0.04050 193 138 46 9
1068 I brought some friends home for dinner. 1.3316 0.04181 193 140 42 11
1069 The doctor says it's pygmies. 1.3316 0.04245 193 141 40 12
1070 Yes, I will admit that it was a mammoth undertaking. 1.3316 0.04308 193 142 38 13
1071 It's the perfect snack, toothpicks included. 1.3316 0.04050 193 138 46 9
1072 Oh, spear me the details Frank! 1.3316 0.04432 193 144 34 15
1073 I wished they made a collar for these things." 1.3316 0.04050 193 138 46 9
1074 Some “visionary” told them “mobile”was they way of the future.... 1.3316 0.04492 193 145 32 16
1075 Is there something in my hair? 1.3316 0.04116 193 139 44 10
1076 I know, they’re back, get the comb. 1.3316 0.03914 193 136 50 7
1077 Am I getting mandruff again? 1.3316 0.04050 193 138 46 9
1078 Sorry hun, I thought I purchased the couples massages. 1.3316 0.04116 193 139 44 10
1079 They call themselves commuters and they are always complaining 1.3316 0.04245 193 141 40 12
1080 I simply refuse to sit when they yell “Sit” but I’m willing to roll over. 1.3316 0.04116 193 139 44 10
1081 I think I am suffering from Mandruff! 1.3316 0.04181 193 140 42 11
1082 They're my wooley bullies. 1.3316 0.04308 193 142 38 13
1083 Yeah, but they’re so tiny. What's the worst they can do? 1.3316 0.04050 193 138 46 9
1084 Nit Pickers. 1.3316 0.04050 193 138 46 9
1085 Hey, better call pest control. We've got humans again... 1.3316 0.04050 193 138 46 9
1086 I had a mammoth headache 'til they started working on my qi. 1.3316 0.04308 193 142 38 13
1087 The doctor gave me a medicated shampoo and said we need to bomb the cave and spray the tundra. 1.3316 0.04370 193 143 36 14
1088 They convinced me it's more dignified than becoming extinct. 1.3316 0.04050 193 138 46 9
1089 Amazon had these new back-scratchers. 1.3316 0.04245 193 141 40 12
1090 At first I thought they were cute, but they never calm down. 1.3316 0.03914 193 136 50 7
1091 Artists!! They need inspiration before they will paint our cave. 1.3316 0.04050 193 138 46 9
1092 I think it's about time to change hair salons. 1.3298 0.03936 191 135 49 7
1093 Could you please remind them it's 'Meatless Monday?' 1.3298 0.03936 191 135 49 7
1094 It looks weird, I know--but that pain in my foot is gone. 1.3298 0.04207 191 139 41 11
1095 I don't know if acupuncture works either, but what's the worst that can happen? 1.3298 0.04141 191 138 43 10
1096 I was going to shake them off, but then I thought better of it, they will be extinct soon enough 1.3298 0.04336 191 141 37 13
1097 That's funny, my knee feels much better. 1.3298 0.04272 191 140 39 12
1098 Oh, I'm sure they'll go away on their own in a couple million years or so. 1.3298 0.04005 191 136 47 8
1099 My vet studied Eastern Medicine. 1.3298 0.04399 191 142 35 14
1100 They may look annoying but my god can they cure neck pain 1.3298 0.04074 191 137 45 9
1101 Do you have any bug spray left? 1.3298 0.04141 191 138 43 10
1102 -Should have called it Lice Age. 1.3298 0.04207 191 139 41 11
1103 I knew I shouldn't have tweeted that. 1.3298 0.04207 191 139 41 11
1104 Mom put the medicine between my shoulder blades so they should start falling off soon. 1.3298 0.04399 191 142 35 14
1105 They're on the Paleo diet. 1.3298 0.04074 191 137 45 9
1106 Annoying sure. It's not like the little suckers are going to take over the world. 1.3298 0.04074 191 137 45 9
1107 I think I lost my man collar. 1.3298 0.04399 191 142 35 14
1108 Cavemen season is so pesky. 1.3298 0.04272 191 143 36 12
1109 The kids picked them up at school. 1.3298 0.04141 191 138 43 10
1110 Last week from the Home Shopping Network. The whole set was $9.99. 1.3298 0.04074 191 137 45 9
1111 I am not sure what is causing the itching,the Doctor called it Mandruff. 1.3298 0.04141 191 138 43 10
1112 It's my side hustle. I rent out my back for exercise classes. 1.3298 0.04141 191 138 43 10
1113 It's like Uber, but, you know, for fleas. 1.3298 0.04141 191 138 43 10
1114 The spray didn't work. 1.3298 0.04074 191 137 45 9
1115 I'm just glad they haven't invented fire yet. 1.3298 0.04141 191 138 43 10
1116 Fannie, we are just too big to fail. 1.3298 0.04207 191 139 41 11
1117 'They're temporary pests - they'll never survive global cooling." 1.3298 0.03936 191 135 49 7
1118 They call me Snow White. I call them the seven dwarfs. 1.3298 0.04074 191 137 45 9
1119 Don't worry. They'll be gone after winter. 1.3298 0.03865 191 139 44 8
1120 Got DEET? 1.3298 0.04522 191 144 31 16
1121 Did I mention I'm hosting the Olympics? 1.3243 0.04003 185 135 42 8
1122 You said we could adopt 1.3243 0.04217 185 135 40 10
1123 It's just some of the Democratic candidates for President. 1.3243 0.04354 185 139 33 13
1124 They itch. 1.3243 0.04147 185 134 42 9
1125 So Ted, what do you know about squatters rights? 1.3243 0.04286 185 136 38 11
1126 The cupping was a disaster so I'm trying acupuncture 1.3243 0.04076 185 133 44 8
1127 That's one small prick for the little men and one giant prick for me. 1.3243 0.04217 185 135 40 10
1128 Thank God I got immunized this year. 1.3243 0.04076 185 133 44 8
1129 It's actually just a residency program. 1.3240 0.04383 179 132 36 11
1130 I’ve got humans again. 1.3240 0.04383 179 132 36 11
1131 I got them from a traveling mastodon. 1.3240 0.04237 179 130 40 9
1132 Eh, at least they keep the ticks off me. 1.3240 0.04163 179 129 42 8
1133 I used to be able to get rid of them. I think they've evolved. 1.3240 0.04383 179 132 36 11
1134 Cavemen? What cavemen? 1.3240 0.04237 179 130 40 9
1135 Did you put out their fire again ? 1.3240 0.04311 179 131 38 10
1136 Gloria, I’m having a Mammoth problem.” 1.3230 0.04794 161 121 28 12
1137 My doc recommended this “new age” treatment for my back 1.3224 0.04026 183 131 45 7
1138 I shampoo three times a week and still can't get rid of them. 1.3224 0.04026 183 131 45 7
1139 Let's talk about the 150-pound people in the room. 1.3224 0.04026 183 131 45 7
1140 It’s just until my back pain is gone. 1.3224 0.04026 183 131 45 7
1141 They still think that they live on a turtle. 1.3224 0.04100 183 132 43 8
1142 They're re-aligning my chakras. 1.3224 0.04172 183 135 38 10
1143 I know it's crazy, but somehow the pain in my hip is gone." 1.3224 0.04100 183 132 43 8
1144 I don't know dear, they're always on my back about something. 1.3224 0.04383 183 136 35 12
1145 You said you'd feed them and take them for walks and brush their teeth! This is the last time Henry!! 1.3224 0.04314 183 135 37 11
1146 How do you eat a mammoth with a toothpick? Same as an elephant; one bite at a time. 1.3224 0.04244 183 134 39 10
1147 What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas! 1.3224 0.04244 183 134 39 10
1148 My doctor said not to bother with the ointment now that they've discovered religion. 1.3224 0.04518 183 138 31 14
1149 If I didn't feel an overriding obligation to foster an emerging superior species, I would have stomped them all into the mud years ago. 1.3224 0.04314 183 135 37 11
1150 They’re cuter when they’re little. 1.3224 0.03950 183 130 47 6
1151 You think the pharmacy has anything for this? 1.3224 0.03715 183 127 53 3
1152 You don't get down from a duck, you get down from a mammoth. 1.3224 0.04383 183 136 35 12
1153 Why me? There' s more than one elephant in this room. 1.3224 0.04244 183 134 39 10
1154 Being so divisive, they ignore the elephant in the living room. 1.3224 0.04100 183 132 43 8
1155 Doctor asked me to rate my pain 1-10. I said 7! 1.3224 0.04172 183 133 41 9
1156 Yeah, I got tested to be safe - but I am pretty sure I know what it is. 1.3224 0.04172 183 133 41 9
1157 To think we may someday become extinct due to these pesky critters is so depressing 1.3224 0.04383 183 136 35 12
1158 Fire, the wheel and now acupuncture 1.3224 0.04244 183 134 39 10
1159 My acupuncturist joined a group practice. 1.3224 0.04172 183 133 41 9
1160 Do you remember where we put the Cro-Magnon powder? 1.3224 0.04100 183 132 43 8
1161 I'm hosting a summit. 1.3224 0.04518 183 138 31 14
1162 No . . . I haven't had a bath in months. Why do you ask? 1.3224 0.03950 183 130 47 6
1163 What makes you think I’m nit-picking? 1.3224 0.04451 183 137 33 13
1164 Bad news babe, I have caveman lice again. 1.3224 0.04518 183 138 31 14
1165 Sorry, I'm late --I'm having a bad hair day. 1.3224 0.04314 183 135 37 11
1166 They just look bigger in the cave art. 1.3224 0.04314 183 135 37 11
1167 They claim they're hunting for bugs,but I have my doubts 1.3224 0.04172 183 133 41 9
1168 I'm gonna wash Man right out of my hair. 1.3224 0.04026 183 131 45 7
1169 My acupuncturist recommended them as a supplement between treatments. 1.3204 0.04198 181 135 36 10
1170 Get acupuncture they said.You'll feel better they said. 1.3204 0.04412 181 135 34 12
1171 Just taking my cave people for a walk. 1.3188 0.04099 160 113 43 4
1172 I should see longer, smoother hair in about six weeks. 1.3184 0.04149 179 130 41 8
1173 Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow! 1.3184 0.04370 179 133 35 11
1174 Now watch what happens when I roll over! 1.3184 0.04149 179 130 41 8
1175 Oh great. I tell them if they kill me we’re extinct. Then you show up. 1.3184 0.04224 179 131 39 9
1176 If hippos can use birds, I can use Neanderthals. 1.3184 0.04224 179 131 39 9
1177 Oh that? Mandruff...it’s driving me to extinction!! 1.3184 0.04441 179 134 33 12
1178 The doctor said it should clear up in a few hundred millennia 1.3184 0.04511 179 135 31 13
1179 Right now, it's not that bad. But I sense that one of them is on the verge of discovering fire. 1.3184 0.03995 179 128 45 6
1180 Watch what happens to these idiots when I sit down. 1.3184 0.04298 179 132 37 10
1181 I'm hopping they'll go extinct soon. 1.3184 0.04149 179 130 41 8
1182 these dimwits will eventually destroy the whole planet. 1.3184 0.04149 179 130 41 8
1183 An Asian elephant told me this would help with my sciatica. 1.3184 0.03916 179 127 47 5
1184 It's OK. It's something they call "hunting". 1.3184 0.04224 179 131 39 9
1185 How is it possible that we're the endangered ones? 1.3184 0.04370 179 133 35 11
1186 Donna said it's the latest in exfoliating spa treatments. I think she might be pulling the wool over my eyes. 1.3184 0.04224 179 131 39 9
1187 Something called acupuncture. 1.3184 0.04511 179 135 31 13
1188 I keep hearing them murmur, "One bite at a time..." 1.3184 0.04648 179 137 27 15
1189 "Getting these Neanderthals out of my hair is a mammoth task. 1.3184 0.04511 179 135 31 13
1190 My acupuncturist prescribed them for me. 1.3184 0.04224 179 131 39 9
1191 I have a new team of acupuncturists. 1.3184 0.04149 179 130 41 8
1192 Don't worry, as soon as the weather gets extreme, they disappear. 1.3184 0.04073 179 129 43 7
1193 You gotta try it. I’m tellin’ you the only thing that helps my mammoth headaches is acupuncture. 1.3184 0.03916 179 127 47 5
1194 What a bunch of Neanderthals! When will they grow up?! 1.3184 0.03995 179 128 45 6
1195 I invited a few of the guys over. 1.3184 0.04298 179 131 37 10
1196 I can hardly wait till someone invents a comb. 1.3184 0.04073 179 129 43 7
1197 The village had a free acupuncture special. 1.3184 0.04370 179 133 35 11
1198 I’ve decided to try acupuncture. 1.3184 0.04370 179 133 35 11
1199 I'm betting that this ride sharing concept has a future. 1.3184 0.04298 179 132 37 10
1200 Because I didn't want to get autism, Jeff. 1.3184 0.04073 179 129 43 7
1201 I know. I know. You warned me about picking up hitchhikers. 1.3184 0.04149 179 130 41 8
1202 Savor these times, Ralph, because someday being hunted will not be fashionable. 1.3184 0.04298 179 132 37 10
1203 How come the picnic is always on me?” 1.3184 0.04224 179 131 39 9
1204 If they keep sticking me with those little pokies, somebody's going to be going extinct. 1.3184 0.04298 179 132 37 10
1205 Apparently, we’re endangered, but I can’t see how. 1.3184 0.04224 179 131 39 9
1206 Not to worry,they are destined for extinction soon enough. 1.3184 0.04073 179 129 43 7
1207 Geez Marg, the bugs are bad this year! 1.3184 0.04716 179 138 25 16
1208 Do you ever feel like there's something you just can't shake? 1.3184 0.04149 179 130 41 8
1209 Pesky little bastards. There’s no way they will survive as a species. 1.3184 0.04073 179 129 43 7
1210 I haven't had the heart to tell them that it doesn't hurt. 1.3184 0.04149 179 130 41 8
1211 They confused me for a woolly rabbit. 1.3184 0.04441 179 134 33 12
1212 Yes, they are cute, but they have no future. 1.3184 0.04073 179 129 43 7
1213 What happened to the guys you hired to clean between your toes? 1.3184 0.04149 179 130 41 8
1214 I got a bad feeling about our new neighbors. 1.3184 0.03752 179 129 45 5
1215 I just got the monkey off my back ...and now look! 1.3184 0.04073 179 129 43 7
1216 Honey, I thought they already sprayed for these. 1.3184 0.04073 179 129 43 7
1217 CBD wasn't helping so my doctor recommended I try acupuncture 1.3184 0.04073 179 129 43 7
1218 Apparently it's some sort of flash mob. 1.3184 0.04370 179 133 35 11
1219 Maybe I'm just paranoid, but it feels like they've been talking about me behind my back. 1.3184 0.04298 179 132 37 10
1220 Hey mom, the school nurse gave me a note. 1.3184 0.04511 179 135 31 13
1221 They're great at multi-tusking. 1.3184 0.04224 179 131 39 9
1222 I think I’ll try a bath at the tar pits. 1.3184 0.04073 179 129 43 7
1223 Yeah, they're a dance troupe from out west. They needed a practice space. 1.3184 0.03995 179 128 45 6
1224 hey Joe,you think we should tell them about the climate change thing? 1.3184 0.04073 179 129 43 7
1225 I know, I was skeptical too, but it really does relieve stress. 1.3182 0.04194 176 128 40 8
1226 Tuesday morning acupuncture appointment. 1.3182 0.04420 176 131 34 11
1227 If you lie down with mastodons, you get up with humans. 1.3182 0.04346 176 130 36 10
1228 I asked for a shampoo scented with Spearmint but got spearmen scent instead. 1.3164 0.04399 177 132 34 11
1229 You know Al, it was funny the first time, but now it's just tired, okay? 1.3164 0.04325 177 131 36 10
1230 I don't think they can do much harm. 1.3164 0.03937 177 129 42 6
1231 A little to the left. That's the stuff. 1.3164 0.03937 177 126 46 5
1232 Feels good up there; as long as they don't discover my soft underbelly I am okay with them. 1.3161 0.04141 174 126 41 7
1233 It's not so bad, eventually they just kill themselves. 1.3161 0.04060 174 125 43 6
1234 Oh, yes. Acupuncture is just heaven! 1.3161 0.04450 174 130 33 11
1235 I know they look like fleas, but they keep screaming they are to be the Lords of the Universe. 1.3161 0.04375 174 129 35 10
1236 I’ve tried powders and flea spray but they seem harmless for now. 1.3143 0.04354 175 130 35 10
1237 Wool itches. 1.3143 0.04277 175 129 37 9
1238 They're picadors. They think I'm a bull. 1.3143 0.04574 175 133 29 13
1239 I'm telling you Jean-Paul, acupuncture is fabulous for an existential crisis, you should totally try it. 1.3143 0.04502 175 132 31 12
1240 Woolly mammoths go extinct? I don’t think so. 1.3143 0.04277 175 129 37 9
1241 There called Cavies, sort of like scabies only worse! 1.3143 0.04041 175 126 43 6
1242 So then the nurse gave me some special shampoo and a tiny comb. 1.3143 0.04200 175 128 39 8
1243 Meet my groomers. 1.3143 0.04041 175 126 43 6
1244 Somebody started a rumor that we were gluten free. 1.3140 0.04166 172 125 40 7
1245 Yeah they itch like crazy. But it is the pre-linguistic grunting that really annoys you. 1.3140 0.04481 172 129 32 11
1246 Paleontologists will dig this. 1.3140 0.04166 172 125 40 7
1247 It's awkwardly soothing. 1.3140 0.04247 172 126 38 8
1248 Have you tried the cavemen's acupuncture treatment? I am already feeling better. 1.3140 0.04404 172 128 34 10
1249 They're just little wooly bullies. 1.3140 0.04481 172 129 32 11
1250 Oy Vey! Flea Season! 1.3140 0.04404 172 128 34 10
1251 It pinches a tad, but my neck hasn't felt this good in ages. 1.3140 0.04481 172 129 32 11
1252 I hope they're not poisonous... 1.3140 0.04247 172 126 38 8
1253 They're so primitive. We'll be here long after they're gone. 1.3140 0.04166 172 125 40 7
1254 Yesterday..I only had 4 of them..what gives? 1.3140 0.04084 172 124 42 6
1255 I'm not much of a people person. 1.3140 0.04481 172 129 32 11
1256 I'm betting they'll disappear once the weather changes. 1.3140 0.04247 172 126 38 8
1257 I'm afraid I need to re-home my humans- all they do is fight. 1.3140 0.04326 172 127 36 9
1258 I swear, these things are some of the dumbest creatures on the planet. 1.3140 0.04247 172 126 38 8
1259 I think they have a future. Don't you? 1.3140 0.04556 172 130 30 12
1260 They trim when I start getting too wooly. It’s called nanotechnology. 1.3140 0.04326 172 127 36 9
1261 I'm tellin' ya—this acupuncture stuff has done wonders for my extinction anxiety. 1.3140 0.04326 172 127 36 9
1262 My mother told me not to sleep in strange caves 1.3140 0.04404 172 128 34 10
1263 Irritating, but they’re on the endangered species list. 1.3140 0.04247 172 126 38 8
1264 Would you mind running down to PetSmart and getting me some people powder? 1.3140 0.03999 172 123 44 5
1265 I'm sorry Susan but our insurance didn't cover acupuncture 1.3140 0.04166 172 125 40 7
1266 Working for Uber has been . . . interesting. 1.3140 0.04703 172 132 26 14
1267 Know any place in Lilliput that sells hunter-gatherer repellent? 1.3140 0.04630 172 131 28 13
1268 The little buggers are called oompa loompas. 1.3140 0.04630 172 131 28 13
1269 I'm sure they're harmless. 1.3140 0.04404 172 130 31 11
1270 This DIY acupuncture kit is getting a zero stars review! 1.3140 0.04703 172 132 26 14
1271 Yet another invasive species. Maybe they'll die off with a hard winter. 1.3140 0.04326 172 127 36 9
1272 Feels great! They scratch my itch and then I just hose them off. 1.3140 0.04326 172 127 36 9
1273 On the plus side, my back pain is gone. 1.3140 0.03999 172 123 44 5
1274 Would you mind hosing me down? 1.3140 0.04481 172 129 32 11
1275 I know you're not into Eastern medicine, but the pain in my hip is gone and I have so much more energy. 1.3140 0.04166 172 125 40 7
1276 I should just roll over and kill them but it actually feels kind of nice. 1.3140 0.04166 172 125 40 7
1277 I miss the monkey... 1.3140 0.04247 172 126 38 8
1278 Don't worry. They'll die from climate change, too. 1.3140 0.04481 172 129 32 11
1279 On second thought, I'll take some of that Frontline. 1.3140 0.04247 172 126 38 8
1280 They keep on mentioning a Dr Seuss 1.3140 0.04166 172 125 40 7
1281 Gentrification hurts. 1.3140 0.04404 172 128 34 10
1282 That mandruff shampoo isn't what it's cracked up to be. 1.3140 0.04247 172 126 38 8
1283 They have more tenacity than talent. 1.3140 0.04247 172 126 38 8
1284 its time to see the doctor, these shooting pains in my back are killing me 1.3140 0.04247 172 126 38 8
1285 You were right. Lilliput is a hoot! 1.3140 0.04326 172 127 36 9
1286 They're Swedish, so it's a massage. 1.3140 0.04166 172 125 40 7
1287 My new acupuncture team. 1.3140 0.04326 172 127 36 9
1288 All the kids at school got them. 1.3140 0.04326 172 127 36 9
1289 It's evidently called acupuncture... 1.3140 0.04166 172 125 40 7
1290 It’s a hoax...a nothingburger...we’re too big to fail... 1.3140 0.04166 172 125 40 7
1291 They said they know acupuncture . 1.3140 0.04326 172 127 36 9
1292 You told me to try acupuncture. 1.3140 0.04247 172 126 38 8
1293 Next time, I am going to get the kind with 90% DEET. 1.3140 0.04556 172 130 30 12
1294 They don’t hunt. They gather. 1.3140 0.04556 172 130 30 12
1295 I thought they were hunting parasites. A thousand little stabs later, I'm dying. 1.3140 0.04404 172 128 34 10
1296 The pterodactyls dropped them off as a practical joke. 1.3140 0.04166 172 125 40 7
1297 They're for the wall. 1.3140 0.04404 172 128 34 10
1298 No one is going to believe this, take my picture! 1.3133 0.04428 166 123 34 9
1299 Do I have anything in my teeth? 1.3125 0.04081 160 114 42 4
1300 Where's the bug spray? 1.3125 0.04623 160 120 30 10
1301 Don't worry; it's only a cosmetic procedure. 1.3121 0.04382 173 129 34 10
1302 Why do you think I have too much baggage for a relationship? 1.3118 0.04274 170 125 37 8
1303 I don't believe in evolution. 1.3118 0.04274 170 125 37 8
1304 They’re not as bad as ticks. 1.3118 0.04588 170 129 29 12
1305 What do I look like, a piece of meat? 1.3118 0.04274 170 125 37 8
1306 What a piece of work is a man, how noble in reason, how infinite in faculties, in form and moving how express and admirable, in action how like an angel, in apprehension how like a god! the beauty of the world, the paragon of animals— 1.3118 0.04737 170 131 25 14
1307 That's right, stay back. They're contagious. 1.3118 0.04274 170 128 29 10
1308 Got anything stronger than Head & Shoulders? 1.3118 0.04274 170 125 37 8
1309 I call it.... acupuncture 1.3118 0.04274 170 125 37 8
1310 Think I should get this checked out? 1.3118 0.04434 170 127 33 10
1311 Men of prey. They're multiplying, though I never see any females. 1.3118 0.04588 170 129 29 12
1312 I’m gonna go take a shower. It’s been a long day. 1.3118 0.04354 170 126 35 9
1313 The vet said it was an infestation of hunter-gatherers 1.3118 0.04274 170 125 37 8
1314 They can't last for long. 1.3118 0.04434 170 127 33 10
1315 This acupuncture has done wonders to my back. 1.3118 0.04354 170 126 35 9
1316 The doctor says they're very hard to get rid of. 1.3118 0.04434 170 127 33 10
1317 The thing is, they have a point. 1.3118 0.04354 170 126 35 9
1318 Ooh, ahhh, yeah, that's better. 1.3118 0.04022 170 122 43 5
1319 I told them to get off my back but they just don’t listen. 1.3118 0.04192 170 124 39 7
1320 They're like fleas, only chewier. 1.3118 0.04434 170 127 33 10
1321 You told me, they would be extinct by now ? 1.3118 0.04192 170 124 39 7
1322 I’m so tired of being treated like a piece of meat 1.3118 0.03935 170 121 45 4
1323 A couple of "roll overs" and they're usually gone for a couple of days. 1.3118 0.04022 170 122 43 5
1324 You had some of these parasites once, how did you get rid of them? 1.3118 0.04434 170 127 33 10
1325 My skin’s microbiome seems to be going macro. That’s evolution for ya. 1.3118 0.04354 170 126 35 9
1326 They won't survive climate change. 1.3118 0.04512 170 128 31 11
1327 Their team building exercise is starting to itch a bit. 1.3118 0.04192 170 124 39 7
1328 Well it started about 80 years ago so I went to my gynecologist. She recommended I get a paleontologic examination. Then I was advised to get a mammoth reductive intervention (MRI). I was feeling extinct. In desperation I’m now trying axupuncture. 1.3118 0.04663 170 130 27 13
1329 I think I caught something, I’ll stay home today. 1.3118 0.04108 170 123 41 6
1330 What goes around... comes around. 1.3118 0.04108 170 123 41 6
1331 It's cheaper than acupuncture, but the needles are a little dull. 1.3118 0.04354 170 126 35 9
1332 This Uber pool is just not worth it anymore 1.3118 0.04192 170 124 39 7
1333 The stabbing pain in my back has only gotten worse since the Stone Age. 1.3118 0.04512 170 128 31 11
1334 We'll be extinct, and they'll still be fighting. 1.3118 0.04354 170 126 35 9
1335 Ya... I’ve got some baggage 1.3095 0.04132 168 122 40 6
1336 These pesky humans will be the end of us yet! 1.3095 0.04301 168 124 36 8
1337 These hunters and gatherers are going to be the death of me. 1.3095 0.04045 168 121 42 5
1338 They also do reiki if acupuncture isn’t your thing. 1.3095 0.04301 168 124 36 8
1339 This acupuncture really works. 1.3082 0.04632 159 120 29 10
1340 Does our insurance even cover acupuncture? 1.3082 0.04367 159 117 35 7
1341 ...I think I have Fibromyalgia ,,, 1.3082 0.04367 159 117 35 7
1342 They're great for scratching those spots I can't reach! 1.3082 0.04274 159 116 37 6
1343 Could you check me for ticks? And Nicks? 1.3082 0.04457 159 118 33 8
1344 Hors d'oeuvre? 1.3082 0.04274 159 116 37 6
1345 A little to the left guys, oh yeah, that's the spot. 1.3082 0.04180 159 115 39 5
1346 Will you scratch my back? 1.3082 0.04180 159 115 39 5
1347 Worst year for Neanderthals that I can remember. 1.3082 0.04367 159 117 35 7
1348 It’s worked wonders on my sciatica. 1.3082 0.04632 159 120 29 10
1349 Beats a back scratcher. 1.3082 0.04274 159 116 37 6
1350 Sure, use up the last can of Off without telling me. Nice going. 1.3082 0.04367 159 117 35 7
1351 They don't even know what ivory is yet they just hate that I'm big. 1.3082 0.04457 159 118 33 8
1352 I think they've read Gulliver's Travels 1.3082 0.04457 159 118 33 8
1353 I'm telling you, just stick a dryer sheet behind your ear...it keeps them away! 1.3082 0.04457 159 118 33 8
1354 And we're supposed to evolve into these imbeciles. 1.3082 0.04457 159 118 33 8
1355 Can I borrow your comb? 1.3082 0.04457 159 118 33 8
1356 They're a nuisance, but on the other hand, I don't have anymore lice. 1.3082 0.04367 159 117 35 7
1357 Someone needs to invent a better back scratcher. 1.3082 0.04367 159 117 35 7
1358 I dunno... I just lay down for a nap in the tall grass and when I woke up, they were all over me! 1.3082 0.04274 159 116 37 6
1359 The acupuncture seems to be working. 1.3082 0.03884 159 114 42 3
1360 Just a little off the top. 1.3082 0.04545 159 119 31 9
1361 You were right. I should have used the repellant! 1.3082 0.04457 159 118 33 8
1362 There's more of them than usual. Must be global warming. 1.3082 0.04545 159 119 31 9
1363 Your school nurse called again. Says this time you can't come back for ages. 1.3082 0.04717 159 121 27 11
1364 Doc says it's just a rash. 1.3082 0.04180 159 115 39 5
1365 I'm experimenting with community-based acupuncture. 1.3082 0.04717 159 121 27 11
1366 Do we have anything for this? 1.3082 0.04545 159 119 31 9
1367 I'm earning a little extra money as a Tuber driver. 1.3082 0.04457 159 118 33 8
1368 Yeah, but you should see their 'Lysistrata.' 1.3082 0.04457 159 118 33 8
1369 I just hope they don't multiply. 1.3082 0.04180 159 115 39 5
1370 They are so annoying, they will probably be here long after you and I are extinct. 1.3082 0.04367 159 117 35 7
1371 I can't wait 2 Million Years for Flea Collars 1.3082 0.04632 159 120 29 10
1372 Years from now its going to be called ACUPUNCTURE 1.3082 0.04717 159 121 27 11
1373 They aren't that smart. I think they will be extinct soon. 1.3082 0.04367 159 117 35 7
1374 It’s the verbal barbs that get me - like “you’ll never make it past the Pleistocene.” 1.3082 0.04632 159 120 29 10
1375 Could you please get these little pricks off of me . 1.3082 0.04632 159 120 29 10
1376 Oh honey, you’ve got humans again! Don’t come near me until you’ve taken a hot shower with the special shampoo! 1.3082 0.04801 159 122 25 12
1377 They call themselves Democrats 1.3082 0.04457 159 118 33 8
1378 Don't knock acupuncture unless you've tried it. 1.3082 0.04180 159 114 39 5
1379 They work much better than that spray-on flea powder. 1.3082 0.04367 159 117 35 7
1380 I'll never babysit for the Smith's again. 1.3082 0.04632 159 120 29 10
1381 It'll take these guys 65 million years to invent GrubHub. 1.3082 0.04883 159 123 23 13
1382 Don't worry. This lot are about to go extinct. 1.3082 0.04180 159 115 39 5
1383 Did you get the shampoo I ordered? 1.3082 0.04180 159 115 39 5
1384 Could you please get rid of them. I do not want them all over our picnic blanket 1.3082 0.04457 159 118 33 8
1385 I’m hoping they kill each other before we go extinct. 1.3082 0.04274 159 116 37 6
1386 Don't worry, Agnes. These climate change deniers are probably harmless. 1.3082 0.04632 159 120 29 10
1387 Oh they’re aggravating, but they do control the fleas 1.3082 0.04801 159 122 25 12
1388 Whose covering your back? 1.3082 0.04545 159 119 31 9
1389 Bad news. I think I may have picked something up at the bog again. 1.3082 0.04632 159 120 29 10
1390 Don’t worry—I’m gonna wash that Neanderthal right out of my hair. 1.3082 0.04457 159 118 33 8
1391 Apparently it's fatal, but the doctor says I still have a good ten years. 1.3082 0.04367 159 117 35 7
1392 It's sort of like acupuncture. I got them on Amazon. 1.3082 0.04545 159 119 31 9
1393 These hunter-gatherers are clueless. I don't see how they expect to survive as a species." 1.3082 0.04545 159 119 31 9
1394 The doctor says they should disappear during the next ice age 1.3082 0.04545 159 119 31 9
1395 It's officially spear tick season. 1.3082 0.04545 159 119 31 9
1396 I know it looks crazy... But viola My back doesn’t itch anymore! 1.3082 0.04367 159 117 35 7
1397 I sure will be glad when they evolve ! 1.3082 0.04367 159 117 35 7
1398 Hey don’t just sit there, get me the caveman repellent. 1.3082 0.04457 159 118 33 8
1399 I used to take flea meds, but I've decided to go organic. 1.3082 0.04545 159 119 31 9
1400 I'm not sure about this acupuncture treatment. 1.3082 0.04274 159 116 37 6
1401 Apparently they have the upper hand. 1.3082 0.04274 159 116 37 6
1402 The doctor says it's just a bad case of "the humans", and if it doesn't kill me, it'll only make me stronger. 1.3072 0.04157 166 121 39 6
1403 Still more pleasant than the mosquitoes. 1.3072 0.04413 166 124 33 9
1404 Got them from a toilet seat... 1.3072 0.04413 166 124 33 9
1405 Flintstones, Meet the Flintstones... 1.3072 0.04244 166 122 37 7
1406 Ha! Go ahead and stab it with your steely knives. You just won't kill this beast! 1.3072 0.04413 166 124 33 9
1407 I wanted to build an army of these toy soldiers but they keep killing each other. 1.3072 0.04244 166 122 37 7
1408 They've been arguing all the way home from the Flintstones. 1.3072 0.04244 166 123 34 8
1409 They make the best nitpickers. 1.3072 0.04495 166 125 31 10
1410 YOU SHOULD TRY A FEW OF THESE THINGS TO STAY AWAKE,THEY'RE BETTER THAN COFFEE 1.3072 0.04329 166 123 35 8
1411 They say taking a tar pit bath gets rid of them. 1.3072 0.04068 166 120 41 5
1412 Well, I guess that that's what happens when you check into a cheap hotel. 1.3072 0.04575 166 126 29 11
1413 ‘It’s a symbiotic relationship - I keep them safe from saber-tooth tigers and they provide acupuncture for my sore back.’ 1.3072 0.04157 166 121 39 6
1414 Dear,I thought we could try these for appetizers! 1.3072 0.04413 166 124 33 9
1415 The last time "Paleo Diet" meant something. 1.3072 0.03789 166 123 37 5
1416 Give them 5 more minutes. They still haven’t found the right spot. 1.3072 0.03977 166 119 43 4
1417 According to Hatty its called woolly bullying. 1.3072 0.04732 166 128 25 13
1418 My own private squad of hunter gatherers. 1.3072 0.04329 166 123 35 8
1419 Believe it or not, this is actually a symbiotic relationship. 1.3072 0.04329 166 123 35 8
1420 They're doing wonders for my sciatica. 1.3072 0.04413 166 124 33 9
1421 I’m feeling so attacked right now. 1.3072 0.04413 166 124 33 9
1422 I'm beginning to have doubts about this exterminator service. 1.3072 0.04244 166 122 37 7
1423 I tried eating garlic but it just seemed to attract more. 1.3072 0.04068 166 120 41 5
1424 They’ll go away once things heat up. 1.3072 0.04244 166 122 37 7
1425 They promised me immortality. _ Said something about my bone structure. 1.3057 0.04578 157 118 30 9
1426 Do you have any ‘OFF’? 1.3049 0.04271 164 121 36 7
1427 So I says, "Doc, I've got this itch. " 1.3049 0.03905 164 117 44 3
1428 One of them is bound to find the itch. 1.3049 0.04092 164 119 40 5
1429 They'll miss me when I'm gone. 1.3049 0.04271 164 121 36 7
1430 Can I borrow some shampoo? 1.3049 0.04182 164 120 38 6
1431 They think I'm flat. 1.3049 0.04442 164 123 32 9
1432 I'm just hoping they don't spread. 1.3049 0.04182 164 120 38 6
1433 Now you vacuum me. 1.3049 0.04526 164 124 30 10
1434 This woolly hurts. 1.3049 0.04357 164 122 34 8
1435 I really like the pinpoint massage method. 1.3049 0.04271 164 121 36 7
1436 I had a Groupon, thought I'd give them a try. 1.3049 0.04442 164 123 32 9
1437 Trust me, they’re a dying species. 1.3049 0.04271 164 121 36 7
1438 Thought I'd give acupuncture a try. 1.3049 0.04271 164 121 36 7
1439 I'm not getting it looked at. 1.3049 0.04182 164 120 38 6
1440 My personal lice killers. 1.3049 0.04092 164 119 40 5
1441 And dogs complain about fleas!" 1.3049 0.04442 164 124 28 10
1442 Oh, so you think this is funny? 1.3049 0.04357 164 122 34 8
1443 These pests will take over the world someday. 1.3049 0.03999 164 118 42 4
1444 Don't worry, they will kill each other soon 1.3049 0.04526 164 124 30 10
1445 I've trained them to scratch those hard to reach spots. 1.3049 0.04526 164 124 30 10
1446 The little buggers are starting to tick me off. 1.3049 0.04271 164 121 36 7
1447 They're actually harmless—just trying to figure out how to get down. 1.3049 0.04092 164 119 40 5
1448 I'll never complain about fleas and lice again. 1.3049 0.04092 164 119 40 5
1449 Luckily they haven't discovered fire yet. 1.3049 0.04442 164 123 32 9
1450 Nagging case of man-druff. 1.3049 0.04526 164 124 30 10
1451 I miss the old days when my fleas were just quiet, humble, little blood thugs. 1.3049 0.04092 164 119 40 5
1452 I should have stayed in a more expensive hotel. 1.3049 0.04357 164 122 34 8
1453 Yeah they are loud,angry and destructive but I needed my back scratched. 1.3049 0.04608 164 125 28 11
1454 My insurance doesn't cover it. 1.3049 0.04271 164 121 36 7
1455 Mind if I borrow your human-spray? 1.3049 0.04271 164 121 36 7
1456 One of them is named Hannibal and he keeps talking about a trip to Switzerland. 1.3049 0.04526 164 124 30 10
1457 Sometimes you just want to jump in a lake. 1.3049 0.04092 164 119 40 5
1458 How does #Mammoth Undertaking grab you? 1.3049 0.04442 164 123 32 9
1459 Did you get that special shampoo? It itches like hell... 1.3049 0.04357 164 122 34 8
1460 They say you can get them if you walk through the tall grass. 1.3049 0.04442 164 123 32 9
1461 They keep making these little grunts that sound like 'Eye! Voh! Ree!' 1.3049 0.04271 164 121 36 7
1462 The guy I got them from said they were gatherers, so I’m not too worried 1.3049 0.03905 164 117 44 3
1463 Maybe so. But it helps with the migraines. 1.3049 0.04688 164 126 26 12
1464 Not all of us can afford acupuncture, Mike. 1.3049 0.04092 164 119 40 5
1465 I’ve moved on from doing the cave paintings to sculptures. 1.3049 0.04092 164 123 34 7
1466 The doctor says to just let it run its course. 1.3049 0.04526 164 124 30 10
1467 They're just an annoyance. I suspect they will soon be extinct. 1.3049 0.04271 164 121 36 7
1468 Would would you take a look at my back? I think I might have picked up fleas or something. 1.3049 0.03999 164 118 42 4
1469 Don't you just love Disney? 1.3049 0.04182 164 120 38 6
1470 Applying a big icepack should kill them off! 1.3049 0.04182 164 120 38 6
1471 And after my acupuncture, I get a pedicure... 1.3049 0.04182 164 122 35 6
1472 A little lower and to the right...ah, that's it, right there, don't stop! 1.3043 0.04666 161 123 27 11
1473 My plan covers acupuncture, so I thought I'd give it a go. 1.3043 0.03845 161 114 45 2
1474 May I borrow your flea powder? 1.3043 0.04410 161 120 33 8
1475 I can't wait until the cold weather comes and they die off. 1.3043 0.04137 161 117 39 5
1476 Honey, the cave is infested again. 1.3043 0.04230 161 118 37 6
1477 I used to think acupuncture was a scam, too, but I swear my sciatica is gone. 1.3043 0.04497 161 121 31 9
1478 Honey, you're always coming home late." "Get off my back! 1.3043 0.04321 161 119 35 7
1479 The doctor said 'don't worry, it won't evolve to much.' 1.3043 0.04497 161 121 31 9
1480 Doc says we can’t get frisky until the antibiotics kick in. 1.3043 0.04582 161 122 29 10
1481 I collect caveman action figures. 1.3043 0.04230 161 118 37 6
1482 They got rid of my fleas but I can't bring myself to announce layoffs. 1.3043 0.04497 161 121 31 9
1483 It's much worse getting them as an adult 1.3043 0.04042 161 116 41 4
1484 It’s what I get for going out without the flea collar 1.3043 0.04321 161 119 35 7
1485 At first I was annoyed, but it always itches where I can't reach it myself. 1.3043 0.04582 161 122 29 10
1486 You've got back bugs. 1.3043 0.04321 161 119 35 7
1487 They scratch my back, I scratch theirs. 1.3043 0.04321 161 119 35 7
1488 Can you recommend a good pesticide? 1.3043 0.04410 161 120 33 8
1489 Nah, it doesn't hurt, But "Slay the beast!" Gets a little tiresome. 1.3043 0.04321 161 119 35 7
1490 Extinction is starting to look pretty good. 1.3043 0.04321 161 119 35 7
1491 I’m okay with their tattoos as long as they’re not vaping. 1.3043 0.04497 161 121 31 9
1492 Primates groom each other; what I wouldn’t give for you to have thumbs.... 1.3043 0.04137 161 117 39 5
1493 That's what I get for switching to a Paleo diet. 1.3043 0.04497 161 121 31 9
1494 They told me to try acupuncture, but I don't think it's working. 1.3043 0.04410 161 120 33 8
1495 I don't understand acupuncture. 1.3043 0.04497 161 121 31 9
1496 I was warming myself up by this fire and all of a sudden they jumped me. 1.3043 0.04042 161 116 41 4
1497 They asked if we would pose for cave pics. 1.3043 0.04410 161 120 33 8
1498 They fight, I get a message. It’s a win-win. 1.3043 0.04321 161 119 35 7
1499 The hunting thing wasn't working out, so they went to acupuncture school. 1.3043 0.04230 161 118 37 6
1500 Whatever you do, don't go outside. 1.3043 0.04137 161 117 39 5
1501 I always thought the birds were helpful, but this acupuncture really works. 1.3043 0.04137 161 117 39 5
1502 Golly I hate these things so much I sometimes wish we were already extinct. 1.3043 0.04321 161 119 35 7
1503 There was a great groupon this week for accupuncture 1.3043 0.04321 161 119 35 7
1504 Believe it or not, they make me laugh. 1.3043 0.04230 161 118 37 6
1505 I've tried a flea and tick collar... 1.3043 0.04410 161 120 33 8
1506 Is that paleo diet STILL a thing? 1.3043 0.04497 161 121 31 9
1507 Annoying and persistent, I suspect they'll even survive us! 1.3043 0.04321 161 119 35 7
1508 My feelings about them are still evolving 1.3043 0.04137 161 117 39 5
1509 I hired them to do acupuncture but I think they're trying to kill me. 1.3043 0.04230 161 121 33 7
1510 Nah, it's just a comb over. 1.3043 0.04582 161 122 29 10
1511 Before you say I told you so, you should know that I only went that way because Whole Foods was out of your creamer. 1.3043 0.04749 161 124 25 12
1512 Relax,I'm sure they're not contagious. 1.3043 0.04042 161 116 41 4
1513 Once I get enough of them I'm going to make a coat. 1.3043 0.04321 161 119 35 7
1514 If one of them is an artist, our legacy is secure! 1.3043 0.04230 161 118 37 6
1515 There's strength in numbers. 1.3043 0.04410 161 120 33 8
1516 A little to the left...yes, that is the spot. 1.3043 0.04410 161 120 33 8
1517 I’ll make an appointment to get the place fumigated. 1.3043 0.04582 161 122 29 10
1518 I liked it better when it was just a monkey on my back. 1.3043 0.04230 161 118 37 6
1519 I've brought a few friends home for dinner. 1.3043 0.04582 161 122 29 10
1520 I wish I knew how not to bring work home. 1.3043 0.04230 161 118 37 6
1521 Apparently I'm the buffet table. 1.3025 0.04116 162 118 39 5
1522 Extinction stinks. 1.3025 0.04473 162 122 31 9
1523 Always check the seams of your hotel mattress for them before unpacking your stuff. 1.3025 0.04298 162 122 32 8
1524 ...so yeah, I guess I hear voices now. 1.3025 0.04298 162 120 35 7
1525 Cro-Minions” 1.3025 0.04208 162 119 37 6
1526 They're so annoying, they act like they rule the planet. 1.3025 0.04208 162 121 34 7
1527 Because I admire their optimism. 1.3019 0.04349 159 118 34 7
1528 I should probably get this treated before it infects The World 1.3019 0.04615 159 121 28 10
1529 I miss the “gathering” days. 1.3019 0.04349 159 118 34 7
1530 They're fighting over me. 1.3007 0.04358 153 113 34 6
1531 So much for being friendly to the natives 1.3007 0.04645 153 116 28 9
1532 Want to play army men? 1.3007 0.04456 153 114 32 7
1533 They've got my back. 1.3000 0.04416 160 120 32 8
1534 They're harmless, I swear. 1.3000 0.04416 160 120 32 8
1535 I'm telling ya, it's like eczema on steroids. 1.3000 0.04234 160 118 36 6
1536 Run for it and go freeze yourself while you still can! 1.3000 0.04590 160 122 28 10
1537 They are like ticks on a mammoth's butt." 1.3000 0.04590 160 122 28 10
1538 It’s my weekly acupuncture session. 1.3000 0.04234 160 118 36 6
1539 I don't mind. They don't know that actually it feels wonderful. 1.3000 0.04590 160 122 28 10
1540 They said, 'One small step for men, one giant leap for mankind.' 1.3000 0.04140 160 117 38 5
1541 It’s more natural compared to a flea collar. 1.3000 0.04416 160 120 32 8
1542 My quantum GPS--why do you ask? 1.3000 0.04416 160 120 32 8
1543 It's a new kind of therapy: Paleopucnture. 1.3000 0.03741 160 118 38 3
1544 They're more annoying than gnats! 1.3000 0.04416 160 120 32 8
1545 I'm going to call it acupuncture. 1.3000 0.04234 160 118 36 6
1546 No, they're humans, but they're still good at hunting fleas. 1.3000 0.04234 160 118 36 6
1547 I usually eat these guys like popcorn but todays is their annual spear the flea derby so I'm cutting them some slack 1.3000 0.04590 160 122 28 10
1548 Just a bit of advice... keep your enemies closer. 1.3000 0.04140 160 117 38 5
1549 It's a team building exercise. 1.3000 0.04234 160 118 36 6
1550 It's something new called acupuncture. 1.3000 0.04140 160 117 38 5
1551 They’re called fascinators. 1.3000 0.04590 160 122 28 10
1552 I'm not telling you to get off my back, I'm telling them to. 1.3000 0.04326 160 119 34 7
1553 It’s a win-win. I get my back scratched and they ride free! 1.3000 0.04590 160 122 28 10
1554 It's death by a thousand slices! 1.3000 0.04416 160 120 32 8
1555 Chiropractic didn't work so I thought I'd try acupuncture. 1.3000 0.04416 160 120 32 8
1556 I forgot to apply anti-caveman spray this morning. 1.3000 0.04675 160 123 26 11
1557 It's fine, I'll get defrosted in a few thousand years, then I'll get my revenge. 1.3000 0.04326 160 119 34 7
1558 On the form, they said they were artists. 1.3000 0.04416 160 120 32 8
1559 Ignore them -- they'll never amount to anything. 1.3000 0.04044 160 116 40 4
1560 I'll start worrying when they invent gunpowder. 1.3000 0.04326 160 119 34 7
1561 Hard to believe they will make us extinct. 1.3000 0.04590 160 122 28 10
1562 Scientists say they’ll be the only things left after the big one 1.3000 0.04326 160 119 34 7
1563 They started out as fleas then evolved, somewhat. 1.3000 0.04590 160 122 28 10
1564 It's recommended once a month for flea control. 1.3000 0.04416 160 120 32 8
1565 I find a nice soak in a tar pit usually takes care of it. 1.3000 0.04044 160 116 40 4
1566 You should try it, they cured my arthritis. 1.3000 0.04326 160 119 34 7
1567 The fire ants were worse. 1.3000 0.04590 160 122 28 10
1568 Acupuncture is doing wonders for my hair loss. 1.3000 0.04504 160 121 30 9
1569 At least they don't cause climate change. 1.3000 0.04326 160 119 34 7
1570 Did you ever have one of those days? 1.3000 0.03844 160 114 44 2
1571 You know, everyone kept tell me to do it, so I finally decided to try acupuncture. 1.2994 0.04377 157 117 33 7
1572 Can you get out the nit comb? 1.2994 0.03776 157 115 39 3
1573 They're "centering my Chi energy", whatever that is. 1.2994 0.04088 157 114 39 4
1574 I'm getting eaten alive out there. 1.2994 0.04377 157 117 33 7
1575 We can only hope that climate change will take care of these annoying pests. 1.2994 0.04560 157 119 29 9
1576 I think the Little Ice Age is a real thing after all. 1.2994 0.04560 157 119 29 9
1577 Honey, can you hand me the human swatter? 1.2994 0.04187 157 115 37 5
1578 It's a bit itchy, but nothing bad enough for the "Human-Out" shampoo 1.2994 0.04377 157 117 33 7
1579 Ancient Chinese remedy.... 1.2994 0.04283 157 116 35 6
1580 I'm getting damn sick of this bunch of annoying little pricks. 1.2994 0.04470 157 118 31 8
1581 They think they are really scary. It’s kind of cute. 1.2994 0.04377 157 117 33 7
1582 Parasites" 1.2994 0.04187 157 117 34 6
1583 It helps my arthritis. 1.2994 0.04088 157 114 39 4
1584 Babar...ians 1.2994 0.04560 157 119 29 9
1585 It's annoying but somehow it helps my arthritis. 1.2994 0.04377 157 117 33 7
1586 Tasty but the long pointy things are hard to pass. 1.2994 0.04088 157 114 39 4
1587 Have you been seeing other mammoths? 1.2994 0.04560 157 119 29 9
1588 Where did you put my flea collar? 1.2994 0.04560 157 119 29 9
1589 Every time I go to that urban park, I get manticks. 1.2994 0.04088 157 114 39 4
1590 Democrats. 1.2994 0.04821 157 122 23 12
1591 I’m sorry, I’m just feeling a little attacked right now. 1.2994 0.04560 157 119 29 9
1592 Hiring the 'Flea Patrol' has solved the problem! 1.2994 0.04377 157 117 33 7
1593 Sure they are cute now, but I can see them becoming a real problem if they keep doubling in numbers every twenty years. 1.2994 0.04377 157 117 33 7
1594 At least they can’t build a fire yet. 1.2994 0.04560 157 119 29 9
1595 I know you told me not to bring home any more strays, but they're so cute when they're little. We just need to have them de-speared. 1.2994 0.04470 157 118 31 8
1596 Don't worry, we'll be here long after their extinct. 1.2994 0.04649 157 120 27 10
1597 Yes it IS the end of the world. Just give them time. 1.2994 0.04377 157 117 33 7
1598 That's funny, I don't remember them being there. 1.2994 0.04377 157 117 33 7
1599 Isn't there a spray that gets rid of these? 1.2994 0.04470 157 118 31 8
1600 They say it is performance art. 1.2968 0.04406 155 116 32 7
1601 Honey, you gotta try this acupuncture thing. 1.2968 0.04310 155 115 34 6
1602 Help me, Sam! I’ve got a bad case of the wooly bullies! 1.2968 0.04683 155 119 26 10
1603 I really don’t see humans evolving anymore past this, Darla. 1.2941 0.04338 153 114 33 6
1604 I can't wait for these to become extinct. 1.2941 0.04338 153 114 33 6
1605 Doc said acupuncture would help with my back pains 1.2941 0.04338 153 114 33 6
1606 Would you mind helping? I'm going extinct over here. 1.2941 0.04532 153 116 29 8
1607 The job’s ok but I’m getting sick of the constant micromanagement 1.2941 0.04238 153 112 35 5
1608 Said they're from the local flea market. 1.2941 0.04626 153 117 26 9
1609 I guess I'm just woolier. 1.2941 0.04238 153 113 35 5
1610 It feels like a stabbing pain, but all the other woolly mammoths say I'm a hypochondriac. 1.2941 0.04436 153 115 31 7
1611 Don't you know anything about Global Warming. You need to reduce your footprint by ridesharing. 1.2941 0.04238 153 113 35 5
1612 Not sure what's in it for them, but it feels pretty good to me. Hilary A. Kaplan Silver Spring, MD 1.2941 0.04238 153 113 35 5
1613 What they lack in civility they make up for in brutality 1.2941 0.04238 153 117 29 7
1614 I’m going to go roll in the tar pit to get rid of these annoying stickers. 1.2941 0.04718 153 118 25 10
1615 I was going to swat them off but I thought, how much trouble could they ever cause. 1.2941 0.04135 153 112 37 4
1616 I just hope they don't drive me to extinction! 1.2941 0.04532 153 116 29 8
1617 Oh man, I'm having second thoughts about becoming an Uber. 1.2941 0.04626 153 117 27 9
1618 And do you believe WE'RE the ones who will be extinct in a little while?!? 1.2941 0.04338 153 114 33 6
1619 Bunch of Neanderthals. 1.2941 0.04436 153 115 31 7
1620 You misread the package...Clearasil prevents pimples 1.2941 0.04718 153 118 25 10
1621 Luckily I’ve developed a thick skin. 1.2941 0.04030 153 111 39 3
1622 Bloody humans! 1.2941 0.04532 153 116 29 8
1623 They refused to allow my emotional support animals on board. 1.2941 0.04135 153 112 37 4
1624 Thanks for the suggestion, this works a lot better than that awful shampoo. 1.2941 0.04135 153 112 37 4
1625 Lice again. 1.2941 0.04338 153 114 33 6
1626 Some day these pests will be ruling the world. 1.2941 0.04338 153 114 33 6
1627 Crazy, yes. But best back-scratch I've ever had. 1.2941 0.04436 153 115 31 7
1628 And it's so much easier than using a lice comb. 1.2941 0.04238 153 113 35 5
1629 Supposed to be the suprimo-dandruff treatment. Got my doubts. 1.2941 0.04338 153 114 33 6
1630 I can sum up our strategy with one word: attrition. 1.2941 0.04436 153 115 31 7
1631 My paleo diet isn't working 1.2941 0.04436 153 115 31 7
1632 Another successful manhunt! 1.2941 0.04338 153 114 33 6
1633 I'm sick and tired of the nit pickers. 1.2941 0.04436 153 115 31 7
1634 They showed up after my vacation in the tropics. 1.2941 0.04436 153 115 31 7
1635 They are unpleasant, but more comfortable than fleas. 1.2941 0.04238 153 113 35 5
1636 I was having a picnic with Barb when hundreds of these things just showed up. Ruined the picnic. 1.2941 0.04532 153 116 29 8
1637 It's been approved for cosmetic use. 1.2941 0.04436 153 115 31 7
1638 Sometimes it's unfortunate that we're vegans 1.2941 0.04238 153 115 32 6
1639 I wish they knew the words to something besides “Alley Oop” 1.2941 0.04718 153 118 25 10
1640 Oooo, Aaaah, Yeeeees, a little more the right, that's the spot! 1.2941 0.03922 153 110 41 2
1641 When Donna gets here, please don't mention the neanderthal in the room 1.2941 0.04135 153 112 37 4
1642 Don’t worry they will be extinct before you know it! 1.2941 0.04718 153 118 25 10
1643 We're symbiotic 1.2941 0.04436 153 115 31 7
1644 Cover up when walking in the tall grass. 1.2941 0.04626 153 117 27 9
1645 At least the itching on my back has stopped! 1.2941 0.04436 153 115 31 7
1646 They’re my base. 1.2941 0.04436 153 115 31 7
1647 I'm worried about climate change, not these Neanderthals. 1.2941 0.04338 153 114 33 6
1648 The deep tissue massage was good last time, but I'm thinking hot stone today. 1.2941 0.03922 153 115 34 4
1649 Floyd says it’s malware. 1.2941 0.04626 153 117 27 9
1650 Flea season is really aggressive this year. 1.2941 0.04532 153 116 29 8
1651 These guys are working overtime and they don't even know it. 1.2941 0.04238 153 113 35 5
1652 I've never had dandruff like this before. 1.2941 0.04532 153 116 29 8
1653 This is what I get for listening to anti-vaxers. 1.2941 0.04718 153 118 25 10
1654 Where do you keep the caveman spray. 1.2941 0.04532 153 116 29 8
1655 Do you have any of that No More Cromags spray? 1.2941 0.04626 153 117 27 9
1656 They make funny squishy noises when I roll on my back. 1.2941 0.04532 153 116 29 8
1657 They’re a little bit annoying, but my migraines have almost stopped! 1.2941 0.04338 153 114 33 6
1658 The ticks are really bad this year. 1.2941 0.04626 153 117 27 9
1659 The benefits are good but management won't stop riding me 1.2941 0.04338 153 114 33 6
1660 The big one's named Hannibal, and he's been trying to take Rome for fifteen years. 1.2941 0.04338 153 114 33 6
1661 I've got a permit, but it's not concealed carry. 1.2933 0.04781 150 116 24 10
1662 Don't be scared, what harm can they do? 1.2933 0.04590 150 114 28 8
1663 Today they told me that the ride is too bumpy and that I should go extinct. 1.2933 0.04182 150 110 36 4
1664 Some days I feel like I have a target painted on my back. 1.2933 0.04687 150 115 26 9
1665 It’s called acupuncture, but they also make good appetizers. 1.2933 0.04391 150 112 32 6
1666 I don't know where I got these little buggers but they sure take care of the ticks. 1.2933 0.04492 150 113 30 7
1667 I wandered by Lilliput again. 1.2933 0.04590 150 114 28 8
1668 So much for the flea collar. 1.2933 0.04288 150 111 34 5
1669 Don’t worry. It’s just my weekly acupuncture session 1.2933 0.04687 150 115 26 9
1670 It's a symbiotic relationship 1.2933 0.04781 150 116 24 10
1671 Something’s been weighing on me, and I need to get it off of my back. 1.2933 0.04391 150 112 32 6
1672 In the future....they will be yellow and called minions 1.2933 0.04590 150 114 28 8
1673 Even our fleas have fleas. 1.2933 0.04288 150 111 34 5
1674 Don't worry, it's mostly gathering. 1.2933 0.04182 150 110 36 4
1675 Hey Jake, can I borrow your Inuit Off? 1.2933 0.04590 150 114 28 8
1676 The cavemen are really bad this time of year. 1.2933 0.04687 150 115 26 9
1677 Yeh,they’re evolving,they’re so cute. 1.2933 0.04590 150 114 28 8
1678 They’re cheaper than the salon and they come to our cave! 1.2933 0.04288 150 111 34 5
1679 Actually, our relationship is codependent rather than symbiotic 1.2933 0.03848 150 108 39 2
1680 If these cavemen have lice I'm gonna freak. 1.2933 0.04492 150 113 29 7
1681 Relax, they're legal immigrants. 1.2933 0.04590 150 114 28 8
1682 I’m done driving for Uber. 1.2933 0.04492 150 113 30 7
1683 Wow, I didn’t think my fears would manifest this obviously. 1.2933 0.04391 150 112 32 6
1684 Not to worry. The Ice Age is coming and the little guys will never survive. 1.2933 0.04391 150 112 32 6
1685 Can I borrow your DEET? 1.2933 0.04687 150 115 26 9
1686 They say it’s a symbiotic relationship 1.2933 0.04074 150 109 38 3
1687 Honey, I think you need to check me for prickly heat. 1.2933 0.04590 150 114 28 8
1688 They read my piece on Al Franken. 1.2917 0.04714 144 110 26 8
1689 Squish them against the wall and they stick. 1.2905 0.04722 148 114 25 9
1690 Let me take my curlers out before we go 1.2905 0.04623 148 113 27 8
1691 Do these cavemen make me look fat? 1.2905 0.04420 148 111 31 6
1692 I'm growing weary of being an Airbnb host. 1.2905 0.04523 148 112 29 7
1693 I just ignore them. They will disappear eventually. 1.2905 0.04315 148 110 33 5
1694 This pesticide ban is driving me crazy. 1.2905 0.04523 148 112 29 7
1695 Flea control. I call them anti-bodies. 1.2905 0.04722 148 114 25 9
1696 I'm guessing it was a slow week for the gatherers. 1.2905 0.04207 148 109 35 4
1697 You get used to it after awhile. 1.2905 0.04207 148 109 35 4
1698 Renting your place on Airbnb again? 1.2905 0.04623 148 113 27 8
1699 After they're done, I'm gonna eat 'em. 1.2905 0.04420 148 111 31 6
1700 Itchy, but they say you shouldn't scratch them. 1.2905 0.04913 148 116 21 11
1701 Who’s this Gulliver they keep yelling about? 1.2905 0.04207 148 109 35 4
1702 They asked for a ride to the battlefield. Who am I to deny them 1.2905 0.04207 148 109 35 4
1703 But their momma was a monkey. 1.2905 0.04722 148 114 25 9
1704 They're more of a nuisance than anything - I don't think we really need to worry. 1.2905 0.04420 148 111 31 6
1705 Not sure what they are upset about, but I keep hearing little voices screaming, "Impeachment!" 1.2897 0.04885 145 113 22 10
1706 Yea, I started with Uber 3 weeks ago 1.2877 0.04856 146 114 22 10
1707 I told them " Sorry, but you only get down off a duck." 1.2877 0.04758 146 113 24 9
1708 I haven't had the heart to tell them they're not on the veld. 1.2877 0.04657 146 112 26 8
1709 The doc says I'm Patient Zero for a new plague. 1.2877 0.04119 146 107 36 3
1710 And you think your fleas are annoying. 1.2877 0.04758 146 113 24 9
1711 It’s kind of like hot yoga. 1.2877 0.04450 146 110 30 6
1712 I regret nothing. 1.2877 0.04758 146 113 24 9
1713 You're not going to believe the results of my genealogy testing. 1.2877 0.04657 146 112 26 8
1714 The bugs are really bad tonight 1.2877 0.04555 146 111 28 7
1715 Look, sometimes it's hard to ignore the tribe in the room. 1.2877 0.04657 146 112 26 8
1716 I saw one by the tree out front and now I feel like they're all over me. 1.2877 0.04657 146 112 26 8
1717 That cheap repellent just isn't cutting it. 1.2877 0.04555 146 113 25 8
1718 Thanks a lot for calling pest control, Jerry. 1.2877 0.04555 146 111 28 7
1719 I figure...What the hell? Let them have their little fun. 1.2877 0.04119 146 107 36 3
1720 The health benefits of an active biome simply cannot be overstated. 1.2877 0.04119 146 107 36 3
1721 I’m starting to question what’s in my probiotic supplement. 1.2877 0.04657 146 112 26 8
1722 I think our cave has bedbugs again. 1.2877 0.04555 146 111 28 7
1723 So I said to them, 'You scratch my back and I'll scratch yours.' 1.2877 0.04657 146 112 26 8
1724 Honey I shrunk the neighbors 1.2877 0.04555 146 111 28 7
1725 They're fun to watch and not bad at killing fleas. 1.2877 0.04342 146 109 32 5
1726 I think I need something stronger than Head & Shoulders shampoo. 1.2877 0.04450 146 110 30 6
1727 I still don’t believe in vaccines. 1.2877 0.04657 146 112 26 8
1728 I survived the Ice Age for this? 1.2847 0.04480 144 109 29 6
1729 I reckon it´s only temporary and will become extinct soon. 1.2847 0.04370 144 108 31 5
1730 Don’t worry honey, you’ve helped me develop a thick skin 1.2847 0.04480 144 109 29 6
1731 Honey, the trim painters are here. 1.2847 0.04258 144 107 33 4
1732 It pinches a little, but my back hasn't felt this good in ages. 1.2847 0.04794 144 112 23 9
1733 Hard to believe that someday they’ll be at the top of the food chain. 1.2847 0.04794 144 112 23 9
1734 It's the constant chatter.. 1.2847 0.04480 144 109 29 6
1735 I think they’ll kill my fleas! 1.2847 0.04587 144 110 27 7
1736 They're still trying to elect their new leader. 1.2847 0.04258 144 107 33 4
1737 I am not concerned, they will eventually die out. 1.2847 0.04587 144 110 27 7
1738 The no-see-ums can be so pesky this time of year! 1.2847 0.04587 144 110 27 7
1739 They said they're only gathering. 1.2847 0.04692 144 111 25 8
1740 Well, if you didn't cheat on me, then HOW exactly did I get them?! 1.2847 0.04258 144 107 33 4
1741 Bit of a nuisance, yes. But they can start a fire on a cold winter night. 1.2847 0.04370 144 108 31 5
1742 It’s still the early stages. 1.2847 0.04370 144 108 31 5
1743 I need to get something off my back." 1.2847 0.04370 144 108 31 5
1744 Don't worry about humans, they'll never survive evolution. 1.2847 0.04258 144 107 33 4
1745 They spend a couple of days up there and come down as vegans. 1.2847 0.04794 144 112 23 9
1746 Performance Art. Why? 1.2847 0.04370 144 108 31 5
1747 Good gawd ... these millennials. 1.2847 0.04370 144 108 31 5
1748 Tell me again how these idiots could ever screw up our lives. 1.2847 0.04587 144 110 27 7
1749 It’s carpool Uber, obviously. 1.2847 0.04692 144 111 25 8
1750 It's the only acupuncture treatment covered by my insurance. 1.2847 0.04142 144 106 35 3
1751 It’s symbiotic. I carry them to the next village and they give me a great grooming. 1.2847 0.04480 144 109 29 6
1752 You should try it - it's free with Medicare" 1.2847 0.04587 144 110 27 7
1753 I've told them 'draw the pictures on the walls; they'll last longer' but you know...Sapiens." 1.2847 0.04794 144 112 23 9
1754 Really honey, it’s gonna work. Dr Oz said so! 1.2847 0.04692 144 111 25 8
1755 Don't worry... I hear there is this thing called a "homo sapien" that is going to get rid of them 1.2847 0.04370 144 108 31 4
1756 That's politics - I can never get these Democrats off my back. 1.2847 0.04587 144 110 27 7
1757 I'm a nice guy. Why is everyone picking on me? 1.2847 0.04587 144 110 27 7
1758 Eventually they will evolve into a smarter species called fleas. 1.2847 0.04480 144 109 29 6
1759 Let them tire themselves out. Then, I'll swat them off and we'll have snacks. 1.2847 0.04258 144 107 33 4
1760 I'm pretty sure I got them from sleeping with Nancy. 1.2847 0.04692 144 111 25 8
1761 I'm never using that travel site again. That last cave we stayed in was NOT five stars, and these aren't bedbugs! 1.2847 0.04480 144 109 29 6
1762 Yeah, it helps, but my insurance won't cover it. 1.2847 0.04692 144 111 25 8
1763 They just won’t get off my back! 1.2847 0.04258 144 107 33 4
1764 Unsightly yes, but they scratch those places I just can't reach! 1.2847 0.04258 144 107 33 4
1765 Useless, annoying little pests. Can't wait for evolution to get rid of them. 1.2847 0.04587 144 110 27 7
1766 Don't worry, they're so inept they'll soon be extinct. 1.2847 0.04587 144 110 27 7
1767 They're a quadruple threat, Helga. They sing, dance, act, and eat parasitic bugs. 1.2847 0.04258 144 107 33 4
1768 I know, I know...but they have big brains and can walk on two legs freeing up hands with opposable thumbs. Think about it Dwayne. 1.2847 0.04142 144 106 35 3
1769 You think they are attacking, but actually they are cleaning me. 1.2847 0.04794 144 112 23 9
1770 Midge, call the exterminator - they're at it again. 1.2847 0.04692 144 111 25 8
1771 Sure it's annoying but it's not like they're gonna hunt us to extinction. 1.2847 0.04370 144 108 31 5
1772 I've featured them in my new mural. 1.2847 0.04370 144 108 31 5
1773 The shampoo isn’t working. 1.2847 0.04794 144 112 23 9
1774 I told them to back off 1.2847 0.04258 144 107 33 4
1775 I think I prefer the flea collar. 1.2847 0.04370 144 108 31 5
1776 They're very helpful when my back itches... 1.2847 0.04480 144 109 29 6
1777 I’m just grateful they’re not mice. 1.2847 0.04370 144 108 31 5
1778 Stay back! it might be catching. 1.2847 0.04480 144 109 29 6
1779 Well, if you ignore your problems, they'll just get bigger. Then where will we be? 1.2847 0.04258 144 107 33 4
1780 The doctor says that if I don't get them treated they could continue to evolve and end up destroying the whole planet. 1.2847 0.04692 144 111 25 8
1781 I don’t know. They said something about symbiosis 1.2847 0.04480 144 109 29 6
1782 Shampoo seems less and less effective against these. 1.2847 0.04480 144 109 29 6
1783 Do you happen to know the name of a small weapons grade dermatologist? 1.2847 0.04692 144 111 25 8
1784 I am guessing your brother has something to do with this. 1.2847 0.04258 144 107 33 4
1785 I prefer to think of it as acupuncture for my chronic back pain. 1.2847 0.04370 144 108 31 5
1786 Have you seen my edibles? 1.2847 0.04587 144 110 27 7
1787 They are cute, but they itch 1.2847 0.04480 144 109 29 6
1788 I hope you don’t mind - I invited the neighbors for dinner. 1.2847 0.04258 144 107 33 4
1789 Could we practice that 'Roll Over' command again? 1.2828 0.04559 145 111 27 7
1790 I thought acupuncture was supposed to relieve my stress. 1.2828 0.04559 145 111 27 7
1791 In another thousand years they will be big enough to become a problem! 1.2817 0.04283 142 106 32 4
1792 I don't get a prickly heat rash when it is cold and icy. 1.2817 0.04510 142 108 28 6
1793 We're still in the early days of ride-share technology. 1.2817 0.04283 142 106 32 4
1794 They’re annoying but harmless. I don’t expect them to be much trouble. 1.2817 0.04510 142 108 28 6
1795 Should I use that killer Tweet or just let them destroy each other on their own? 1.2817 0.04283 142 106 32 4
1796 Do you believe we have a fossil fuel problem now? 1.2817 0.04510 142 108 28 6
1797 Doc says 10 to 14 eons should clear it up. 1.2817 0.04398 142 107 30 5
1798 They mean well. 1.2815 0.04893 135 105 22 8
1799 These pesky creatures are claiming that by using their little darts, that they will render us extinct! Can you believe their gall? 1.2808 0.04532 146 112 27 7
1800 It’s symbiotic. I get acupuncture relief for my arthritis, and they release their primitive instincts. 1.2806 0.04682 139 107 25 7
1801 Ever have an itch you can't scratch? 1.2806 0.04570 139 106 27 6
1802 Can you see whether they have Clovis points? 1.2806 0.04682 139 107 25 7
1803 On the plus side, it's fixed my back pain 1.2806 0.04454 139 105 29 5
1804 Acupuncture -- you should try it! 1.2806 0.04214 139 103 33 3
1805 Jerry! I've gone forward in time and it's terrible! There's war everywhere, civilization is terrible, and people voted for Donald Trump! 1.2806 0.04570 139 106 27 6
1806 I should have gotten my shot. 1.2806 0.04570 139 106 27 6
1807 Have you ever tried acupuncture? 1.2806 0.04682 139 107 25 7
1808 Don’t tell them, but I’m considering the Paleo diet. 1.2806 0.04454 139 105 29 5
1809 Their a great massage until they build a fire. 1.2806 0.04793 139 108 23 8
1810 God love 'em. They scratch an itch I could never reach. 1.2806 0.04088 139 102 35 2
1811 Do you ever get the feeling that we're not the only ones here? 1.2806 0.04336 139 104 31 4
1812 I'm in a clinical trial for a new flea medicine. 1.2806 0.03825 139 104 33 2
1813 You should see what they're doing to the Earth! 1.2806 0.04336 139 104 31 4
1814 Next time, you do the shopping. 1.2806 0.04336 139 104 31 4
1815 You could've at least helped with the groceries. 1.2806 0.04336 139 104 31 4
1816 Did you ever have the feeling that you're being stalked? 1.2806 0.04336 139 104 31 4
1817 The ticks are evolving. I hope they aren't carrying some new infectious disease. Most be related to climate crisis. 1.2806 0.04454 139 105 29 5
1818 They got my order wrong at the drive-thru again. 1.2806 0.04570 139 106 27 6
1819 It's better than scratching against the wall, but I promised to feed them when they're done. 1.2806 0.04682 139 107 25 7
1820 Don't worry, Marsha, they may be stupid, violent and annoying, but before you know it they'll be extinct. 1.2806 0.04570 139 106 27 6
1821 You know I can't leave Sephora empty-handed. 1.2806 0.04570 139 106 27 6
1822 Get my Fleanderthal collar. 1.2806 0.04336 139 104 31 4
1823 Talk about making a mole hill out of a mountain! 1.2806 0.04793 139 108 23 8
1824 The medical marijuana didn't help so I'm trying acupuncture. 1.2806 0.04336 139 104 31 4
1825 I think I picked them up in Tuscany 1.2806 0.04682 139 107 25 7
1826 Is it just me, or are the mosquitoes really bad this year? 1.2806 0.04336 139 104 31 4
1827 On days like today extinction seems a good option. 1.2806 0.04214 139 103 33 3
1828 I feel like we’re avoiding the tribesmen in the room. 1.2806 0.04682 139 107 25 7
1829 "I went to see that big black slab. Suddenly I hear 'Also Sprach Zarathustra''. Now I gotta shampoo every damn day. 1.2806 0.04682 139 107 25 7
1830 But Mom, everyone wears them! 1.2806 0.04088 139 102 35 2
1831 They won't evolve without team building. 1.2806 0.04454 139 105 29 5
1832 Do you have any pterodactyl balls? I hear they’re good for getting rid of pests on coats. 1.2806 0.04336 139 104 31 4
1833 I said I'm fine. 1.2806 0.05108 139 111 17 11
1834 Listen Todd, I've got to get something off my back... 1.2806 0.04454 139 105 29 5
1835 yeah, they're messy, they smell bad and they get into everything but I promise to clean up after them. Can i keep them? can I, please? 1.2806 0.04900 139 109 21 9
1836 They made me come home from school because the little buggers are crawling all over my fur. 1.2806 0.04336 139 104 31 4
1837 With extinction coming on, I decided to go all out with those that bug me. 1.2806 0.04682 139 107 25 7
1838 I much prefer the Paleolithic Era re-enactors over the Mesolithic ones. Their spears are a lot less sharp. 1.2806 0.04570 139 106 27 6
1839 They were under control until somebody had to go spreading rumors about the vaccine. 1.2806 0.04336 139 104 31 4
1840 I call them "action figures" 1.2806 0.04793 139 108 23 8
1841 So I told them a bunch of lies so they're more focused on fighting each other than coming after us! 1.2806 0.04900 139 109 21 9
1842 They thought I was their Uber driver... 1.2806 0.04336 139 104 31 4
1843 Don’t worry. My doctor said it’s not contagious. 1.2806 0.04454 139 105 29 5
1844 It's called acupuncture. It's all the rage in what's going to be China. 1.2806 0.04682 139 107 25 7
1845 I paid a little extra for piercings. Worth every penny! 1.2806 0.04793 139 108 23 8
1846 I shall call them The University of Alabama. 1.2806 0.04682 139 107 25 7
1847 Stay away 1.2806 0.04570 139 106 27 6
1848 Works so much better than a flea collar. 1.2806 0.04900 139 109 21 9
1849 They tell me they’re trying to start a new geologic era. Isn’t that cute? 1.2806 0.04214 139 103 33 3
1850 I guess these Dems know I'm more of an elephant than you are. 1.2806 0.04682 139 107 25 7
1851 It takes a village to look this good. 1.2806 0.04454 139 105 29 5
1852 The stabs don't bother me too much, it's the buzzing around my ears that really gets me. 1.2806 0.04214 139 103 33 3
1853 What was the name of that shampoo you used? 1.2806 0.04900 139 109 21 9
1854 Well, how'd you get rid of yours? 1.2806 0.04682 139 107 25 7
1855 So, acupuncture therapy is a sham. 1.2806 0.04214 139 103 33 3
1856 Sure it's annoying, but their optimistic ambition is just so darn cute. 1.2806 0.04570 139 106 27 6
1857 They are a nuisance, but at this rate, they'll be extinct soon and I won't have to put up with them." 1.2806 0.04570 139 106 27 6
1858 all those warnings about safe sex, Bob... I should have listened. 1.2806 0.04682 139 107 25 7
1859 The new Kevlar undercoat seems to be working well 1.2806 0.04793 139 108 23 8
1860 I had asked for the de-lousing special but they threw in the extra spear massage for free. 1.2806 0.04682 139 107 25 7
1861 Did that guy really just ask for more ketchup? 1.2806 0.04682 139 107 25 7
1862 So my functional medicine doctor recommended acupuncture. 1.2806 0.04682 139 107 25 7
1863 Dude,trust me,these idiots will pay through the nose for war party rental space. 1.2806 0.04088 139 110 24 5
1864 I like to think of it as free acupuncture. 1.2806 0.04088 139 102 35 2
1865 They'll never last as a species. 1.2806 0.04570 139 106 27 6
1866 I get half of anything they find. 1.2806 0.04793 139 108 23 8
1867 They keep saying," Gulliven this ... and Gulliver that....! 1.2806 0.04454 139 105 29 5
1868 They do help with the flea problem 1.2806 0.04454 139 105 29 5
1869 I was thinking about calling it Uber. 1.2806 0.04570 139 106 27 6
1870 I already tried the special shampoo. Next I’m supposed to go to some specialist who charges a tusk and a leg to pick them off individually. 1.2806 0.04088 139 102 35 2
1871 I've tried picking them out, but I hear you have to get the eggs. 1.2806 0.04682 139 107 25 7
1872 I actually thought they were smarter. 1.2806 0.04570 139 106 27 6
1873 Someone stole their ladder and they're mad as Hell! 1.2806 0.04570 139 106 27 6
1874 Yep, that's the future you're looking at. 1.2806 0.04454 139 105 29 5
1875 They aren't as bad as the crabs. 1.2806 0.04900 139 109 21 9
1876 They're posable action figures. I bought the whole set. 1.2806 0.04570 139 106 27 6
1877 The doctor said this problem is spreading. 1.2806 0.04336 139 104 31 4
1878 It’s a symbiotic relationship. They eat the fleas. 1.2806 0.04570 139 106 27 6
1879 It's the first step in getting hair transplants. 1.2806 0.04682 139 107 25 7
1880 For the last time John, they're cave people. 1.2806 0.04793 139 108 23 8
1881 I was going to roll over and squish them, but they are doing a pretty good job at scratching my back. 1.2806 0.04214 139 103 33 3
1882 Can you spare a little flea powder? 1.2806 0.04570 139 108 24 7
1883 I brought a few friends home to dinner, dear. 1.2806 0.04570 139 106 27 6
1884 I give them rides and they give me accupuncture treatments. 1.2806 0.04793 139 108 23 8
1885 They call themselves Homo erectus, and want me to represent what they call 'their party.'" 1.2806 0.04793 139 108 23 8
1886 Aren’t they cute? Can we keep them? 1.2806 0.04454 139 105 29 5
1887 Their pedicure team is top rated as well. 1.2806 0.04570 139 106 27 6
1888 I don’t have that flea problem anymore. 1.2806 0.04336 139 104 31 4
1889 Not to worry, it's time for my dust bath." 1.2806 0.04682 139 107 25 7
1890 Deep tissue costs only $10 more 1.2806 0.04570 139 106 27 6
1891 Are you sure humans are harmless? 1.2806 0.04570 139 106 27 6
1892 Can't wait to see how this evolves 1.2806 0.04454 139 105 29 5
1893 Barbara, just this one time , why can't I have your support instead of your judgement 1.2806 0.04336 139 104 31 4
1894 You scratch my back, I’ll scratch your back. 1.2806 0.04454 139 105 29 5
1895 Until someone invents the backscratcher, I guess this will have to do. 1.2806 0.04570 139 106 27 6
1896 They'll just be a nuisance until they invent guns. 1.2806 0.04682 139 107 25 7
1897 They’ve done wonders for my backache. 1.2806 0.04793 139 108 23 8
1898 Have any Neandertalaway?? 1.2806 0.04570 139 106 27 6
1899 I'm going down to the waterfall to wash off this infestation. 1.2806 0.04570 139 106 27 6
1900 They want my Netflix password. 1.2806 0.04570 139 106 27 6
1901 I'm pretty sure it's not contagious 1.2806 0.04336 139 104 31 4
1902 I strayed too close to the village and picked up a flesh-eating bacteria. 1.2806 0.04454 139 105 29 5
1903 Please tell me you packed the repellant like I asked? 1.2806 0.04454 139 105 29 5
1904 OK,Hold still. They're just getting you groomed for the next GOP convention. 1.2806 0.04682 139 107 25 7
1905 Fleas again. I'll go take a bath. 1.2806 0.05005 139 110 19 10
1906 They left their cell phones at home. 1.2806 0.04793 139 108 23 8
1907 I know we are supposed to think big, but my first inclination was to use bug spray. When that didn't work, I switched to logic only to have them poke holes in it. 1.2806 0.04454 139 105 29 5
1908 I don’t know, Janet, the acupuncture doesn’t seem to be working... 1.2806 0.04336 139 104 31 4
1909 One more evening like this and I throw myself into the fjord. 1.2806 0.04793 139 108 23 8
1910 They are a bunch of real pricks! 1.2806 0.04336 139 104 31 4
1911 Word has it they'll soon be extinct. 1.2806 0.04682 139 107 25 7
1912 It happens every year when the Hunter College alumni are in town! 1.2806 0.04570 139 106 27 6
1913 They taste just like chicken. 1.2806 0.04793 139 108 23 8
1914 These things act like they are trying to take over the world. 1.2806 0.04570 139 106 27 6
1915 I know it looks painful, but it really helps my anxiety. 1.2806 0.04682 139 107 25 7
1916 Susan recommended this new acupuncture treatment for my flareups. 1.2806 0.04682 139 107 25 7
1917 I decided to go with acupuncture for my back pain. 1.2806 0.04682 139 107 25 7
1918 I’m not sure if they’re trying to eat me or worship me as a god. 1.2806 0.04570 139 106 27 6
1919 You ever stand up too fast and get a prickly feeling all over? 1.2806 0.04682 139 107 25 7
1920 The Cro-MAGAs are a lot worse this year. But luckily climate change will take care of them soon enough. 1.2806 0.04793 139 108 23 8
1921 This new virus is going to be the death of me! 1.2806 0.04682 139 107 25 7
1922 Lend me your human collar. 1.2806 0.04682 139 107 25 7
1923 This was the only acupuncture service provider available under my Medicaid supplemental. 1.2806 0.04454 139 105 29 5
1924 I got this new backscratcher from the as seen on the wall of that’s cave store 1.2806 0.04336 139 104 31 4
1925 I gave the Valkyries a ride. 1.2806 0.04570 139 108 24 7
1926 They’re going Paleo 1.2806 0.04793 139 108 23 8
1927 I think I've just invented the back scratcher. 1.2786 0.04427 140 106 29 5
1928 They’ll eventually go away. 1.2786 0.04427 140 106 29 5
1929 You're sitting on him 1.2786 0.04541 140 107 27 6
1930 You know what they say: "It takes a village." 1.2786 0.04309 140 105 31 4
1931 No matter what I do I can't seem to get these monkeys off my back 1.2778 0.04994 126 98 21 7
1932 Do we have any Deet in the house? 1.2774 0.04830 137 107 22 8
1933 Secret Service protection. 1.2774 0.04717 137 106 24 7
1934 Honestly Larry, have to tried acupuncture? It's changed my life, you don't hear me complaining about back pain anymore. 1.2774 0.04363 137 103 30 4
1935 I would just roll over on them if I could get back up. 1.2774 0.04238 137 102 32 3
1936 My hunter repellent is working. 1.2774 0.04717 137 106 24 7
1937 Now they want me to scratch THEIR backs. 1.2774 0.04238 137 102 32 3
1938 Too big for lice. 1.2774 0.04484 137 104 28 5
1939 I tried some new cologne today. I didn't get the reaction I was looking for. 1.2774 0.04363 137 103 30 4
1940 I drive for Uber now. 1.2774 0.04363 137 103 30 4
1941 Wanna buy a back-scratcher? 1.2774 0.04484 137 104 28 5
1942 Stay calm and they'll go extinct. 1.2774 0.04484 137 104 28 5
1943 Remember when I said you'd be hearing the pitter patter of little feet..? 1.2774 0.04717 137 106 24 7
1944 The kids brought them home from elementary school! AGAIN! 1.2774 0.04602 137 105 26 6
1945 If I fall asleep in the wrong position, I wake up with pins and needles. 1.2774 0.04484 137 104 28 5
1946 I know, I know, ‘stay out of the tall grass.’ 1.2774 0.04238 137 102 32 3
1947 Is this the complaint department? This coat has humans. 1.2774 0.04940 137 108 20 9
1948 You said you were tested. 1.2774 0.04602 137 105 26 6
1949 I try to get acupuncture once a month as a part of my self-care routine. 1.2774 0.04363 137 103 30 4
1950 It's annoying, but my back and my Qi are aligned. 1.2774 0.04602 137 105 26 6
1951 It's cheaper than acupuncture. 1.2774 0.04238 137 102 32 3
1952 This too shall pass. 1.2774 0.04602 137 105 26 6
1953 My mom says we have to use a special shampoo and comb. 1.2774 0.04363 137 103 30 4
1954 If you scratch my back, I'll scratch yours. 1.2774 0.04602 137 105 26 6
1955 It’s called acupuncture and it’s amazing. 1.2774 0.04940 137 108 20 9
1956 Is this the Democratic debate? 1.2774 0.04940 137 108 20 9
1957 Forgot my caveman spray again 1.2774 0.04238 137 102 32 3
1958 Just blow them off please. 1.2774 0.04717 137 106 24 7
1959 My theory is they’re just looking for attention. Ignore them and they’ll go away. 1.2774 0.04363 137 103 30 4
1960 I accidentally squashed one of the little ones and now they won't get off my back about it. 1.2774 0.04484 137 104 28 5
1961 I could get vaccinated against them, but what’s the worst they could do to me? 1.2774 0.04238 137 102 32 3
1962 They're always fighting about who gets to ride shotgun. 1.2774 0.04484 137 104 28 5
1963 It's going around in my preschool. 1.2774 0.04830 137 107 22 8
1964 They're so adorable when they're hungry. 1.2774 0.04830 137 107 22 8
1965 You wouldn’t believe how good this feels 1.2774 0.04717 137 106 24 7
1966 The doctor said it was a classic case of pins and Neanderthals 1.2774 0.04602 137 105 26 6
1967 oh an occasional deep wound but they are very effective against ticks. 1.2774 0.04363 137 103 30 4
1968 I love acupuncture. 1.2774 0.04484 137 104 28 5
1969 Nit-anderthals. 1.2774 0.04484 137 104 28 5
1970 Switch to Uber. 1.2774 0.04940 137 108 20 9
1971 I know I shouldn’t but I feel sorry for them. 1.2774 0.04484 137 104 28 5
1972 Honey, would you rub my back? I am getting the pins and needles again. 1.2774 0.04830 137 107 22 8
1973 Accupuncture. It's a new age thing. 1.2774 0.04602 137 105 26 6
1974 Humans? huh? I was hoping they were bedbugs. 1.2774 0.04717 137 106 24 7
1975 You better get that checked before it turns into something serious. 1.2774 0.04484 137 104 28 5
1976 I think I have Gits. 1.2774 0.04602 137 105 26 6
1977 Leave them alone, they're harmless. 1.2774 0.04484 137 104 28 5
1978 They say acupuncture can prevent extinction. 1.2774 0.04940 137 108 20 9
1979 This isn't our cave! 1.2774 0.04830 137 107 22 8
1980 What do you mean I looks like a diorama? 1.2774 0.04940 137 108 20 9
1981 It's a synergism. After they eat fleas, I eat them. 1.2774 0.04484 137 104 28 5
1982 Can we try out that new bug spray? 1.2774 0.04484 137 104 28 5
1983 ‘I’m not sure my acupuncturists new treatment plan is working for me ‘ 1.2774 0.04363 137 103 30 4
1984 I’m shocked to report this is somehow relieving my back, neck and trunk pain. 1.2774 0.04602 137 105 26 6
1985 It’s only until I finish posing for the cave drawing. 1.2774 0.04363 137 103 30 4
1986 It's my hair club for mammals. 1.2774 0.04717 137 106 24 7
1987 They said they're gatherers, probably just hair samples. 1.2774 0.04717 137 106 24 7
1988 Yeah. I ran out of the ointment. 1.2774 0.04363 137 103 30 4
1989 A little bit of lavender shampoo and they'll be gone by morning. 1.2774 0.04363 137 103 30 4
1990 WebMD says this will be the end of me. 1.2774 0.04602 137 105 26 6
1991 Try acupuncture, they said... 1.2774 0.04940 137 108 20 9
1992 And we're the ones becoming extinct! 1.2774 0.04602 137 105 26 6
1993 We're on the cutting edge of medicine with accupuncture. It's mammoth! 1.2774 0.04717 137 106 24 7
1994 School nurse said there’s a shampoo for it. 1.2774 0.04363 137 103 30 4
1995 This acupuncture is definitely helping ease the pain. 1.2774 0.04602 137 105 26 6
1996 It's actually a pretty good way to get a back scratch when you need it. 1.2766 0.04624 141 109 25 7
1997 They call it group acupuncture and it’s covered under my plan. 1.2754 0.04456 138 105 28 5
1998 It's supposed to help with my lower back pain. 1.2754 0.04573 138 106 26 6
1999 These people have been fighting for as long as I can remember! 1.2754 0.04573 138 106 26 6
2000 My doctor says it's nothing to worry about. 1.2754 0.04456 138 105 28 5
2001 Someday there'll be a whole diet craze based on these idiots. 1.2754 0.04212 138 103 32 3
2002 They're the most destructive pests known to elephants. 1.2754 0.04687 138 107 24 7
2003 Did you use the last of the caveman repellent? 1.2754 0.03953 138 101 36 1
2004 You DID suggest acupuncture. She was busy so she subcontracted it. 1.2754 0.04456 138 105 28 5
2005 Can't figure out why my back pain is getting worse 1.2754 0.05014 138 110 18 10
2006 I hear you can get them out with a really fine-toothed comb. 1.2754 0.04212 138 103 32 3
2007 I think this problem might be bigger than it looks. 1.2754 0.04573 138 106 26 6
2008 I'm being nice because one day they may rule this place. 1.2754 0.04084 138 102 34 2
2009 Eh. The ride sharing economy won't last. 1.2754 0.04687 138 107 24 7
2010 I tell ya Sam, “wooly bully” is becoming a real issue. 1.2754 0.04687 138 107 24 7
2011 Don't worry in a million years their species will be extinct. It will be all ours. 1.2754 0.04908 138 109 20 9
2012 The medical establishment doesn't yet accept it, but it's the only thing that relieves my pain. 1.2754 0.04687 138 107 24 7
2013 Get the tweezers, Ethel. 1.2754 0.04573 138 106 26 6
2014 But it feels so good when they hit my shiatsu points. 1.2754 0.04335 138 104 30 4
2015 It was my Mother's idea to name me Gulliver. 1.2754 0.04456 138 105 28 5
2016 They keep chanting, "We are the Master Dons!" It's getting under my skin. 1.2754 0.04573 138 106 26 6
2017 ...and they're all licensed accupuncturists!... 1.2754 0.04335 138 104 30 4
2018 I'm summer camp at Lilliput. 1.2754 0.04908 138 109 20 9
2019 Yeah, it's another bad hair day. 1.2754 0.04456 138 105 28 5
2020 I think they're trying to describe me. 1.2754 0.05014 138 110 18 10
2021 I'm going to try a different shampoo. 1.2754 0.04335 138 104 30 4
2022 This species will go extinct long before we do. 1.2741 0.04635 135 104 25 6
2023 That extinction option is sounding better and better. 1.2741 0.04753 135 105 23 7
2024 They are cute, but dumb. Definitely going to go extinct at some point soon. 1.2741 0.04867 135 106 21 8
2025 They’re curing my arthritis. 1.2741 0.04980 135 107 19 9
2026 It’s really disappointing how much smaller they seem off-cave. 1.2741 0.04390 135 102 29 4
2027 No matter how much I exercise I just can't seem to lose any weight. 1.2741 0.04867 135 106 21 8
2028 You wanna get stoned? 1.2741 0.04514 135 103 27 5
2029 My physical therapist said dry needling would do wonders for my back. 1.2741 0.04980 135 107 19 9
2030 It must be my perfume! 1.2741 0.04262 135 101 31 3
2031 The good news is, we'll both be extinct in 10,000 years. 1.2741 0.04635 135 104 25 6
2032 This new alternative medicine really helps with my chronic back pain. 1.2741 0.04390 135 102 29 4
2033 It’s a cost effective alternative for my chronic lower back pain. 1.2741 0.04635 135 104 25 6
2034 Should I let them unionize? 1.2741 0.04635 135 104 25 6
2035 It's guaranteed to make me look 20 years younger. 1.2734 0.04982 139 111 18 10
2036 Have you seen my No Pest collar? 1.2707 0.04544 133 102 26 5
2037 I just followed the sign. Have you ever heard of Liliputia? 1.2707 0.04789 133 104 22 7
2038 I think their prehistory is a bit off 1.2707 0.04906 133 105 20 8
2039 I’ve always found their paintings to appear a bit grandiose. 1.2707 0.04544 133 102 26 5
2040 Acupuncture hasn't been invented yet, Karl. 1.2707 0.04417 133 101 28 4
2041 No worries! Once the climate changes, they’ll make themselves extinct. 1.2707 0.04417 133 101 28 4
2042 Know where I can find a back scratcher? 1.2707 0.04906 133 105 20 8
2043 The doctor recommended acupuncture for my upper humpback 1.2707 0.04668 133 103 24 6
2044 Salty, excellent crunch, squishy inside — snatch yourself a trunkful, you'll see... 1.2707 0.04417 133 101 28 4
2045 Should I tell them? 1.2707 0.04544 133 102 26 5
2046 I miss Whoville. 1.2707 0.04668 133 103 24 6
2047 From an evolutionary perspective, they’re rather primitive 1.2707 0.04789 133 104 22 7
2048 That’s it; just sit down when you want them off. 1.2707 0.04417 133 101 28 4
2049 Quite a stupid species” 1.2707 0.04789 133 104 22 7
2050 A little more to the left, and down a rib... 1.2707 0.04544 133 102 26 5
2051 They scratch my itch like you never did. 1.2707 0.04151 133 99 32 2
2052 Actually it tickles! 1.2707 0.04417 133 101 28 4
2053 I love having my back scratched. 1.2707 0.04286 133 100 30 3
2054 I'm thinking of becoming a carnivore. 1.2707 0.04668 133 103 24 6
2055 It's doing wonders for my sciatica. 1.2707 0.04668 133 103 23 6
2056 I know how it looks, but you promised me to try new things on this spa weekend in Lilliput. 1.2707 0.04544 133 102 26 5
2057 Can I keep them? There's room for all of us. 1.2707 0.04789 133 104 22 7
2058 They’ll detail your car too. 1.2707 0.04668 133 103 24 6
2059 I know we said no pets, but they scratch exactly where my trunk can't reach. 1.2707 0.04544 133 102 26 5
2060 The tick season is really bad this year. 1.2707 0.04544 133 104 23 6
2061 Who knows. It's probably one of those community efforts that usually go nowhere. 1.2707 0.04544 133 105 22 6
2062 But keep your eye out for Gulliver! 1.2707 0.04668 133 103 24 6
2063 I know I should feel conquered, but it just tickles sometimes. 1.2707 0.04906 133 105 20 8
2064 They're small, so I'm getting them into painting. 1.2707 0.04417 133 101 28 4
2065 Crack open the peanut butter- they just discovered fire. 1.2707 0.04286 133 100 30 3
2066 It's awkward. 1.2707 0.04668 133 103 24 6
2067 They needed a ride. They're obviously harmless, so why not? 1.2707 0.04789 133 104 22 7
2068 It’s surprisingly therapeutic. 1.2707 0.04417 133 101 28 4
2069 Why don't you ever scratch my back like this? 1.2707 0.04544 133 102 26 5
2070 In the olden days, the insect repellants were much stronger 1.2707 0.04668 133 103 24 6
2071 If I die at least they will too 1.2707 0.04668 133 103 24 6
2072 I still think a flea collar is more subtle. 1.2707 0.04668 133 103 24 6
2073 The moss on my fur seems to be part of a new fad they call the Precambrian diet. 1.2707 0.04668 133 103 24 6
2074 Of course it's painful. That's what you have to do if you want immortality through art. 1.2707 0.04544 133 102 26 5
2075 My name's Gulliver. What's yours? 1.2707 0.04789 133 104 22 7
2076 Which word do you not understand,symbiosis or acupuncture? 1.2707 0.04544 133 102 26 5
2077 My theory is survival of the biggest. 1.2707 0.04906 133 105 20 8
2078 They like Dancing to Wooly Bully 1.2707 0.04906 133 105 20 8
2079 Your anthropologist told my zoologist they’re supposedly symbiotic.” 1.2707 0.04544 133 102 26 5
2080 My acupuncturist swears by these guys. 1.2707 0.04417 133 101 28 4
2081 It's not that bad. At least they haven't discovered how to burn coal yet. 1.2707 0.04668 133 103 24 6
2082 They're not interested in a symbiotic relationship. 1.2707 0.04668 133 103 24 6
2083 ... they can never find the right spot. 1.2707 0.04906 133 105 20 8
2084 I never should have poked the hive. 1.2707 0.04417 133 101 28 4
2085 I’ve just had a brainstorm! I’m naming it ‘The Hunt and Peck Method.’ 1.2707 0.04544 133 104 23 6
2086 They're annoying but not as bad as the mosquitos. 1.2707 0.04012 133 98 34 1
2087 My back scratchers, and they're free! 1.2707 0.04417 133 101 28 4
2088 I’m spearheading the committee 1.2707 0.04668 133 103 24 6
2089 You and one more and we'll have a minyan. 1.2707 0.04668 133 103 24 6
2090 It's acupuncture, I'm trying to lose weight 1.2707 0.04789 133 104 22 7
2091 They work for Mastodon flea and tick removal service. 1.2707 0.04668 133 103 24 6
2092 I call them my Woolly Bullies 1.2707 0.04789 133 104 22 7
2093 I wish this weren’t such a hands-on exhibit. 1.2707 0.04286 133 100 30 3
2094 Maybe they'll be less annoying once they develop agriculture. 1.2707 0.04417 133 101 28 4
2095 Hey Herb, notice anything new? 1.2707 0.04012 133 98 34 1
2096 They leave after killing the parasites. Quite harmless, really. 1.2692 0.04734 130 101 23 6
2097 They tend to destroy anything they live on 1.2692 0.04858 130 102 21 7
2098 Yes, they're annoying, but what real harm can they do? 1.2692 0.05098 130 104 17 9
2099 Will you check me for neanderthals? 1.2692 0.04339 130 98 29 3
2100 You scratch your back; they’ll scratch mine. 1.2692 0.04606 130 100 25 5
2101 I hired them to get rid of fleas 1.2692 0.04606 130 100 25 5
2102 They're great for removing ticks. 1.2692 0.04475 130 99 27 4
2103 This Backupunture has really eliminated a ton of pain. 1.2692 0.04734 130 101 23 6
2104 You're so unevolved." 1.2692 0.04606 130 102 22 6
2105 Evidently, shampoo won't do the trick. We'll need a lice comb. 1.2692 0.05098 130 104 17 9
2106 We have Bedouin bugs again. 1.2692 0.04606 130 100 25 5
2107 I specifically asked for vegan, non-vegan hors d’oeuvres. 1.2692 0.04734 130 101 23 6
2108 I don't get it. Why are the groceries trying to eat us? 1.2692 0.04858 130 102 21 7
2109 I think I touched a nerve. Three more just joined ‘The Squad’.” 1.2692 0.04979 130 103 19 8
2110 It's called acupuncture, and it feels great! 1.2692 0.04734 130 101 23 6
2111 My self-confidence has soared since I started micro-spearing. 1.2692 0.04858 130 102 21 7
2112 I don't know why, but my neck suddenly feels better. 1.2692 0.04606 130 100 25 5
2113 I am less worried about climate change now 1.2692 0.04606 130 100 25 5
2114 I should have know better than sleep in a cave 1.2692 0.04475 130 99 27 4
2115 They keep the flies off. 1.2692 0.04606 130 100 25 5
2116 My chiropractor suggested acupuncture. I carry a lot of weight in the trunk. 1.2692 0.04339 130 98 29 3
2117 Think of the fossil it will make! 1.2692 0.04606 130 100 25 5
2118 Morton had no idea how on-the-tusk Wilbur was when he told him, "Ugh, these humans are going to be the death of me." 1.2692 0.04475 130 99 27 4
2119 They help with the ticks, that's for sure. 1.2692 0.04858 130 102 21 7
2120 Wait until you host the debate tomorrow night... 1.2692 0.05098 130 104 17 9
2121 Acupuncture is the only thing that works for my headaches 1.2692 0.04734 130 101 23 6
2122 Wow, this is akin to phase II conversion therapy, Mr President." ...."I get it Mike, now order these little Congresswomen to STOP!" 1.2692 0.04475 130 99 27 4
2123 Their going to be the end of us. 1.2692 0.04475 130 99 27 4
2124 They said something about wanting a Trojan Mastodon. 1.2692 0.04858 130 102 21 7
2125 I’ve got an itch that just won’t go away 1.2692 0.04606 130 100 25 5
2126 I just had the strangest dream. 1.2692 0.04734 130 101 23 6
2127 They want to cross the Alps. We'll be extinct before it happens. 1.2692 0.04734 130 101 23 6
2128 Keep your thoughts to yourself...I had an itch. 1.2692 0.04734 130 101 23 6
2129 I haven’t had a flea in years 1.2692 0.04858 130 102 21 7
2130 Have you received your shot? Think of the herd immunity! 1.2692 0.04475 130 99 27 4
2131 That's the last time I sleep in a cave. 1.2692 0.04606 130 100 25 5
2132 These things thrive on global warm ups. 1.2692 0.04339 130 97 29 3
2133 Symbiotic? I snack on them, then pick my teeth with the spears. 1.2692 0.04475 130 99 27 4
2134 Doc says I have 6 months to live. 1.2692 0.04606 130 100 25 5
2135 I don’t have your problem, as I wear the New Flea, Tick, and Hunter Gatherer Collar.!! 1.2692 0.04858 130 102 21 7
2136 You write one controversial tweet... 1.2692 0.04858 130 102 21 7
2137 It's annoying, but I'm achieving total Qi. 1.2692 0.04606 130 100 25 5
2138 Did those big white tic birds go extinct? 1.2692 0.04606 130 100 25 5
2139 They’re just nitpicking. 1.2692 0.04734 130 101 23 6
2140 This acupuncture treatment works wonders for my back pain 1.2692 0.04200 130 97 31 2
2141 I've solved my flea problem 1.2692 0.04606 130 100 25 5
2142 Prehistoric Accupuncture. 1.2692 0.04200 130 97 31 2
2143 I'm beginning to have my doubts about accupuncture. 1.2692 0.04858 130 102 21 7
2144 Barbara swears it'll do wonders for my lumbago. 1.2692 0.04475 130 99 27 4
2145 Don't get too close; they're contagious. 1.2692 0.04475 130 99 27 4
2146 It's accu-tenderizing. 1.2692 0.04734 130 101 23 6
2147 When they stop praising me, I'll eat 'em. 1.2692 0.04475 130 99 27 4
2148 They gave me three months if left untreated. It's this or the fire ants." 1.2692 0.04475 130 99 27 4
2149 If we ignore them, in time they'll go away. 1.2692 0.04475 130 99 27 4
2150 They misheard ‘Spare me.’ as “Spear me.’ 1.2692 0.04475 130 99 27 4
2151 The barbers are just about finished 1.2692 0.04475 130 99 27 4
2152 Easy solution: I’m importing a couple of Saber Tooth Tigers. What could go wrong? 1.2692 0.04734 130 101 23 6
2153 This dandruff is driving me nuts. 1.2692 0.04606 130 100 25 5
2154 They'll be telling tales around the campfire for many years about the big one that got away. 1.2692 0.04734 130 101 23 6
2155 They’re dealing with my fleas. 1.2692 0.04606 130 100 25 5
2156 Yeah Sally. I’ve got a bad case of annoying humans. 1.2692 0.04734 130 101 23 6
2157 These pesky things are a mammoth pain in the neck! 1.2692 0.04858 130 102 21 7
2158 It looks worse than it is. Usually clears up in the first hail storm. 1.2692 0.04339 130 98 29 3
2159 The doctor said I have jabs 1.2692 0.04606 130 100 25 5
2160 Do I look like a "happy hunting ground?" 1.2692 0.04858 130 102 21 7
2161 This group is harmless, but there is a R&D team working something called a Clovis point. 1.2692 0.04979 130 103 19 8
2162 I'm about to sneeze--isn't it nice to be at the top of the food chain? 1.2692 0.04979 130 103 19 8
2163 Honey, I brought dinner. 1.2692 0.04475 130 99 27 4
2164 They're good at getting the nits. 1.2692 0.04979 130 103 19 8
2165 They will be the end of me 1.2692 0.04858 130 102 21 7
2166 Once the Ice Age begins these Neanderthals are history 1.2692 0.04858 130 102 21 7
2167 It just feels a little close to Caption Contest #665. 1.2692 0.04734 130 101 23 6
2168 Dave’s got lice again. 1.2692 0.04858 130 102 21 7
2169 I was skeptical at first, but I think the acupuncture is actually helping. 1.2692 0.04606 130 100 25 5
2170 They claim that acupuncture will help my arthritis, but I can't help questioning their motives. 1.2692 0.04606 130 100 25 5
2171 I didn't believe in acupuncture either. 1.2692 0.04475 130 99 27 4
2172 Right now they’re just gathering. The hunting part comes later. 1.2692 0.04858 130 102 21 7
2173 Then we just cross tusks... and it's an ivory bridge to you! 1.2692 0.04606 130 100 25 5
2174 They're small but meaty 1.2692 0.04734 130 101 23 6
2175 Mini-acupuncturists were buy-one-get-one-free 1.2692 0.04734 130 101 23 6
2176 So I washed and rinsed, but I didn't repeat, and the next day THIS happened. 1.2692 0.04606 130 100 25 5
2177 They're itchy but they'll go away soon. 1.2692 0.04339 130 98 29 3
2178 I find they’re very good at reaching those hard-to-get itches... 1.2692 0.04858 130 102 21 7
2179 Finally a dandruff treatment that really works! 1.2692 0.04475 130 99 27 4
2180 When you go to the stream, watch out! These things are all over the place. 1.2692 0.04475 130 99 27 4
2181 They're called man. Worse than ticks if you ask me. 1.2692 0.04858 130 102 21 7
2182 Do you have any Neanderthal spray? 1.2692 0.04339 130 98 29 3
2183 They were all out of spearless. 1.2692 0.04858 130 102 21 7
2184 You oughta hear their mission statement. 1.2692 0.04606 130 100 25 5
2185 Many years from now our descendants will be the mascot for a political party and the descendants of these guys on my back will be doing the same thing for the other party. 1.2692 0.04858 130 102 21 7
2186 They keep off the lady bugs. 1.2692 0.04606 130 100 25 5
2187 It's called acupuncture. Seems kind of crazy, but it actually works. 1.2692 0.04734 130 101 23 6
2188 I know you're skeptical, but acupuncture really works. 1.2692 0.04339 130 98 29 3
2189 Can I borrow that shampoo again? 1.2692 0.04339 130 98 29 3
2190 I have a feeling these pesky new humans are not going to be good for the planet. 1.2692 0.04339 130 98 29 3
2191 They're from Monarch Delousing and Vermin Pest Control. 1.2692 0.04475 130 99 27 4
2192 Dammit, another outbreak! Have we got any homopathic remedies? 1.2692 0.04475 130 99 27 4
2193 They scratch where it itches. 1.2692 0.04734 130 101 23 6
2194 They told me it was massage therapy. 1.2692 0.04200 130 97 31 2
2195 Mannnn my back is itchy 1.2692 0.04734 130 101 23 6
2196 They come out this time every year! 1.2692 0.04475 130 99 27 4
2197 At least the ticks are gone. 1.2692 0.04734 130 101 23 6
2198 They needed a place to practice. 1.2692 0.04606 130 100 25 5
2199 Eviction or Extinction? 1.2692 0.04734 130 101 23 6
2200 My salon has that new tar treatment. I hear it gets ‘em right out. 1.2692 0.04606 130 100 25 5
2201 My flea removal squad. Told them to make it quick. I'll be gone soon. 1.2692 0.04858 130 102 21 7
2202 They keep yapping about some dude named Hannibal. 1.2692 0.04858 130 102 21 7
2203 Its called the Neander Cleaning Service. They chiseled their location on the cave wall we sleep in.” 1.2692 0.04475 130 101 24 5
2204 With time I can domesticate them. 1.2692 0.04475 130 99 27 4
2205 Those puny humans, they think they will actually survive 1.2692 0.04858 130 102 21 7
2206 Maybe this will change for our ancestors 1.2692 0.04475 130 99 27 4
2207 My holistic guy says it should help. 1.2692 0.04606 130 100 25 5
2208 The angrier they get, the better the back scratch! 1.2692 0.04606 130 100 25 5
2209 It's just a bunch of small pricks. Reduces the need for acupunture. 1.2692 0.04734 130 101 23 6
2210 Tick check. 1.2692 0.04606 130 100 25 5
2211 It's something called Pokemon Go: the Iron Age Edition. 1.2692 0.04858 130 102 21 7
2212 Just call me “Gulliver.” 1.2692 0.04606 130 100 25 5
2213 I told you acupuncture wouldn't get rid of my stress. 1.2692 0.04606 130 100 25 5
2214 Parasites,no cure in sight. But the way they behave they sure will extinct themselves one day. 1.2692 0.04475 130 99 27 4
2215 We can’t seem to get rid of them. I just know they will outlast us! 1.2692 0.04606 130 100 25 5
2216 They're trying to get me to refinance my credit cards 1.2692 0.04734 130 101 23 6
2217 I’m a believer. This acupuncture service is a godsend for my back. 1.2692 0.04979 130 103 19 8
2218 OK, the flea collar didn't work. Got any other ideas? 1.2692 0.04858 130 102 21 7
2219 Dude the weed is hitting me 1.2692 0.04606 130 100 25 5
2220 How much longer do we have to wait before extinction? 1.2692 0.04734 130 101 23 6
2221 I couldn’t reach the itch... 1.2692 0.04734 130 101 23 6
2222 Better the hunter than the hunted. 1.2692 0.04979 130 103 19 8
2223 Do you see something on my back? I feel something on my back. 1.2692 0.04734 130 101 23 6
2224 These early hominids are driving me crazy. Let's hope they go extinct when the next asteroid hits. 1.2692 0.04734 130 101 23 6
2225 Overconfidence does not bode well for the neanderthal species. 1.2692 0.04606 130 100 25 5
2226 I can’t tell you how much acupuncture has helped my back. 1.2692 0.04979 130 103 19 8
2227 Don't forget your OFF, the people are horrible today. 1.2692 0.04858 130 102 21 7
2228 I've even tried tar shampoo, but I just can't seem to get rid of the damned things. 1.2692 0.04606 130 100 25 5
2229 They've invented a way to kill fleas. 1.2692 0.04858 130 102 21 7
2230 I just see it as free acupuncture. 1.2692 0.04339 130 98 29 3
2231 These hair-plug clips itch. 1.2692 0.04858 130 102 21 7
2232 I can't tell if they're fighting each other or mad at me. 1.2692 0.04475 130 99 27 4
2233 I'm trying to finish my taxes, but I just can't get those Cossackountants off my back. 1.2692 0.04858 130 102 21 7
2234 If you sleep with mastiffs, you get fleas. 1.2692 0.04339 130 98 29 3
2235 They're having fun now, but when I'm extinct the party's over. 1.2692 0.04606 130 100 25 5
2236 Apparently I have energy blockages in my deltoids. 1.2692 0.04858 130 102 21 7
2237 They call it acupuncture. Try it. 1.2692 0.04339 130 98 29 3
2238 If they get too bothersome I do a rollover. 1.2692 0.04200 130 97 31 2
2239 I got a mammoth back ache 1.2692 0.04475 130 99 27 4
2240 How do they know exactly where I itch? 1.2692 0.04200 130 97 31 2
2241 It beats having fleas. 1.2692 0.04734 130 101 23 6
2242 I suspect these pests will soon go extinct. 1.2692 0.04475 130 101 24 5
2243 It’s supposed to relieve stress. 1.2692 0.04606 130 100 25 5
2244 I thought it was a fad, too, but acupuncture changed my life. 1.2692 0.04606 130 100 25 5
2245 Please, please, can I keep them? 1.2692 0.04979 130 103 19 8
2246 Where'd we put that oxpecker bird? 1.2692 0.04734 130 101 23 6
2247 I haven't been poked this much since our wedding night. 1.2672 0.04702 131 102 23 6
2248 I figure we wait for them to die and degrade then use their tiny bodies as fuel" 1.2656 0.04221 128 96 30 2
2249 Does magic for my tusk pain 1.2656 0.04896 128 101 20 7
2250 And you're complaining about fleas 1.2656 0.04221 128 96 30 2
2251 Climate change? I don't see the connection. 1.2656 0.04638 128 99 24 5
2252 They're Wooly Bullies Sam. 1.2656 0.04638 128 99 24 5
2253 Don't worry- the doctor says they aren't contagious 1.2656 0.04638 128 99 24 5
2254 Do you charge them separately or as a group? 1.2656 0.04503 128 98 26 4
2255 They call themselves "Democrats",or something. If they ever unite, they could be a problem 1.2656 0.04769 128 100 22 6
2256 ‘They tickle a bit, but haven’t been too much trouble.’ 1.2656 0.04503 128 98 26 4
2257 The Cro Magnon repellant isn't working. 1.2656 0.04769 128 100 22 6
2258 They haven’t invented language, yet, so they don’t quite grasp that there’s a very good reason we’re called mammoths. 1.2656 0.04769 128 100 22 6
2259 You're just jealous because you don't have your own tick patrol keeping you clean. 1.2656 0.04769 128 100 22 6
2260 They can't jump well but I wouldn't get to close. 1.2656 0.04638 128 99 24 5
2261 What a bunch of Neandrathals. 1.2656 0.04365 128 97 28 3
2262 I'm trying acupuncture. 1.2656 0.04769 128 100 22 6
2263 So apparently the new neighbors are runter-gatherers. 1.2656 0.04769 128 100 22 6
2264 Love acupuncture day 1.2656 0.04638 128 99 24 5
2265 They're my acupuncturist team. 1.2656 0.04365 128 97 28 3
2266 Try a fine tooth comb.” 1.2656 0.04769 128 100 22 6
2267 They're mostly a nuisance, but they really get in the way when I'm on a date. 1.2656 0.04896 128 101 20 7
2268 I just have this sinking feeling that the world is out to get me 1.2656 0.04503 128 98 26 4
2269 Be careful - they multiply and spread like lice. 1.2656 0.04503 128 100 23 5
2270 I believe they call it Accupuncture 1.2656 0.04638 128 102 20 6
2271 The doc swears it'll help with my back pain. 1.2656 0.04769 128 100 22 6
2272 Suddenly extinction doesn't seem so bad. 1.2656 0.04365 128 97 28 3
2273 Acupuncture is awesome. 1.2656 0.05020 128 102 18 8
2274 Sure they itch a bit, but they rinse right off. 1.2656 0.04221 128 96 30 2
2275 You know those pedicures that use little fish to nibble on your feet? Well, this is the massage version of that. 1.2656 0.04638 128 99 24 5
2276 I need a new human collar. 1.2656 0.04638 128 99 24 5
2277 My pachydermatologist recommended them. 1.2656 0.04503 128 98 26 4
2278 I don’t know, this whole acupuncture thing is a little too new-age for my tastes. 1.2656 0.04769 128 100 22 6
2279 Just because I picked up men does mean I have been with anyone else. 1.2656 0.04769 128 100 22 6
2280 It's not the work, but the people that really bug me. 1.2656 0.04365 128 97 28 3
2281 I wouldn't mind so much if they'd just get along with each other 1.2656 0.04896 128 101 20 7
2282 They are much more effective than a flea and tick spray. 1.2656 0.04896 128 101 20 7
2283 It will only get worse as this place gets warmer. 1.2656 0.04503 128 98 26 4
2284 Yeah....heigh ho, heigh ho, my ass! 1.2656 0.04769 128 100 22 6
2285 What should I tip them? 1.2656 0.04638 128 99 24 5
2286 Ha. Bet they didn’t think that whole Jurassic Park cloning thing would end up like this... 1.2656 0.04503 128 98 26 4
2287 I'll need your help getting the toothpicks into the hors d' oeuvres. 1.2656 0.05020 128 102 18 8
2288 I’ve been pain free the entire way home. They call it alternative medicine. 1.2656 0.04638 128 99 24 5
2289 That bug spray you got me doesn’t work 1.2656 0.05020 128 102 18 8
2290 They take care of those big fleas 1.2656 0.04769 128 100 22 6
2291 Bad hair day. 1.2656 0.05020 128 102 18 8
2292 Sometimes it pinches a little but they've done wonders for my sciatica. 1.2656 0.04503 128 98 26 4
2293 I know, I promised not to bring work home. 1.2656 0.04503 128 98 26 4
2294 I can feel my back again 1.2656 0.04221 128 96 30 2
2295 Yeah, the pachydermatologist recommended I try the Human Conditioner 1.2656 0.04503 128 98 26 4
2296 They say it'll help restore my qi. 1.2656 0.04503 128 98 26 4
2297 You say try Head & Shoulders? 1.2656 0.04769 128 100 22 6
2298 I had to take the Bering Land Bridge. 1.2656 0.04769 128 100 22 6
2299 You simply should try this Neanderthal acupuncture; it simply is spin-tingling! 1.2656 0.04896 128 101 20 7
2300 Boy, the bugs are really biting this morning. 1.2656 0.04503 128 98 26 4
2301 I wish there was a collar for this. 1.2656 0.04638 128 99 24 5
2302 I carry my emotions. 1.2656 0.04638 128 99 24 5
2303 Between you and me, I'm just acting like it hurts. Common courtesy, you know? Give em a little ego boost. 1.2656 0.04638 128 99 24 5
2304 You know,you're absolutely right. I can hardly feel the acupuncture spears at all! 1.2656 0.04638 128 99 24 5
2305 No, No. Nothing so mundane! I got this when I attended a conference in Berkeley and ran smack into a Pro-Trump ``Proud Boys'' rally. 1.2656 0.05141 128 103 16 9
2306 It's a new Chinese treatment for toothaches. 1.2656 0.04638 128 99 24 5
2307 I hate to bring work home. 1.2656 0.04365 128 97 28 3
2308 I can’t take this anymore. I’m going out for a tar bath. 1.2656 0.04503 128 98 26 4
2309 You didn't catch them from me... 1.2636 0.04862 129 102 20 7
2310 He gave me a special shampoo but I think I’ll just shave and be done with it. 1.2619 0.04805 126 99 21 6
2311 It's always nice to get your back scratched. 1.2619 0.04805 126 99 21 6
2312 They're my nitpickers. 1.2619 0.04390 126 96 27 3
2313 I hope this acupuncture works. 1.2619 0.04243 126 95 29 2
2314 Honey, in what drawer do we keep the Raid Human Spray? 1.2619 0.04243 126 95 29 2
2315 This acupuncture is really helping my back. 1.2619 0.05062 126 101 17 8
2316 It's a good thing they're not the size of monkeys. 1.2619 0.04671 126 98 23 5
2317 I knew mobile acupuncture was a bad idea 1.2619 0.04671 126 98 23 5
2318 The enlightened frugivores now want to eat prey, love. 1.2619 0.04390 126 96 27 3
2319 Oh, them? They're no problem at all. In fact, they keep my coat clean and woolly. 1.2619 0.04671 126 98 23 5
2320 Check out my new back scratcher. 1.2619 0.04805 126 99 21 6
2321 You really need to be careful where you sleep. 1.2619 0.04390 126 96 27 3
2322 Bed humans again! Time to fumigate. 1.2619 0.04533 126 97 25 4
2323 Easiest hunting expedition ever. 1.2619 0.04533 126 97 25 4
2324 My doctor recommended some acupuncture to relieve my back pain. 1.2619 0.04533 126 97 25 4
2325 No, they just like lice. 1.2619 0.04671 126 98 23 5
2326 You have to try this latest homeopathic massage and acupuncture technique, so relaxing. 1.2619 0.04805 126 99 21 6
2327 The itching won't stop but I checked my bed and can't find a thing! 1.2619 0.04671 126 98 23 5
2328 My doctor calls it "alternative." 1.2619 0.04533 126 97 25 4
2329 Word in the herd is if humans don't get you global warming will. 1.2619 0.04671 126 98 23 5
2330 May I borrow a comb? 1.2619 0.04243 126 95 29 2
2331 Is acupuncture really beneficial? 1.2619 0.04671 126 98 23 5
2332 Hey, could you scratch my back? Another tiny spear infestation. 1.2619 0.04533 126 97 25 4
2333 I don’t know...some new thing called ‘Acupuncture’. 1.2619 0.04805 126 99 21 6
2334 They say it's better than a deep tissue massage. 1.2619 0.04533 126 97 25 4
2335 The lady at the Macy's beauty counter swears these are the latest hair accessory coming out of Paris. 1.2619 0.04243 126 95 29 2
2336 If I had known I'd have guests, I would've conditioned. 1.2619 0.04805 126 99 21 6
2337 Thanks for the Acupuncture tip. Definitely helps with blood circulation. 1.2619 0.04533 126 97 25 4
2338 Please can we keep them? they wont evolve 1.2619 0.04671 126 98 23 5
2339 O for a comb! 1.2619 0.04671 126 98 23 5
2340 Manhood for them, acupuncture for me. 1.2619 0.04935 126 100 19 7
2341 Yeah, and they itch too. 1.2619 0.04935 126 100 19 7
2342 These acupuncturists are total Neanderthals. One star! 1.2619 0.04671 126 98 23 5
2343 Got any Quell? 1.2619 0.04935 126 100 19 7
2344 It's a lot cheaper than acupuncture, I'll tell you that! 1.2619 0.04671 126 98 23 5
2345 I just auditioned for a "back pain" commercial. 1.2619 0.04671 126 98 23 5
2346 I told them to get down of my back and they replied 'but you're not a duck' 1.2619 0.05186 126 102 15 9
2347 You got to try it. It's the best cure for fleas ever. 1.2619 0.05062 126 101 17 8
2348 You can’t even go out for a walk anymore. 1.2619 0.04533 126 97 25 4
2349 They love to dance and it feels so good! 1.2619 0.04533 126 97 25 4
2350 Better watch out; it might be contagious. 1.2619 0.04533 126 97 25 4
2351 They’re cute little guys, but they’ll probably be extinct in about a hundred years. 1.2619 0.04533 126 97 25 4
2352 Almost found the spot....just scratch a little higher. 1.2619 0.04533 126 97 25 4
2353 Parasites. And they itch like crazy! 1.2619 0.04390 126 96 27 3
2354 I swear it’s not contagious 1.2619 0.04390 126 96 27 3
2355 Couldn't sleep--my back's been killing me all night. 1.2619 0.04671 126 98 23 5
2356 They needed a sanctuary and a purpose. 1.2619 0.04805 126 99 21 6
2357 I'm not sure community acupuncture is worth the lower price. 1.2619 0.04671 126 98 23 5
2358 There’re new immigrants and they do a super back massage! 1.2619 0.04805 126 99 21 6
2359 When they're exhausted fighting over who gets the tusks, I'll just eat them." 1.2619 0.04243 126 95 29 2
2360 It's called acupuncture. I'm hoping it helps with my migraines. 1.2619 0.04533 126 97 25 4
2361 I'll start to get concerned when they develop language. 1.2619 0.04935 126 100 19 7
2362 They scratch the itch pretty well. You should try them. 1.2619 0.04805 126 99 21 6
2363 That caveman repellent obviously doesn’t work. 1.2619 0.04390 126 96 27 3
2364 They make good back scratchers. 1.2619 0.04935 126 100 19 7
2365 Not fleas, more like mosquitoes! 1.2619 0.04533 126 97 25 4
2366 I think it's Titus Andronicus. 1.2619 0.04935 126 100 19 7
2367 You really should try massage, Janice. It's so relaxing. 1.2619 0.04671 126 98 23 5
2368 I've found my calling as a creation myth. 1.2619 0.04805 126 99 21 6
2369 Do you like my manscaping? 1.2619 0.04935 126 100 19 7
2370 The itches are wonderfully scratched. 1.2619 0.04243 126 95 29 2
2371 If it start to tickle too much, I'll just roll over. 1.2619 0.04671 126 98 23 5
2372 Definitely more annoying than lice and ticks... 1.2619 0.04533 126 97 25 4
2373 Well, I think it is better than fleas, but what do I know? 1.2619 0.04390 126 96 27 3
2374 It's exhausting having so many followers. 1.2619 0.04533 126 97 25 4
2375 It’s cheaper than a massage. 1.2619 0.04533 126 97 25 4
2376 Better than a flea collar!! 1.2619 0.04671 126 98 23 5
2377 Next week you be the rideodon. 1.2619 0.04390 126 98 24 4
2378 I'm beginning to suspect this isn't just dandruff... 1.2619 0.04805 126 99 21 6
2379 I hate to bring up the elephant in the room, but it feels like a #metoo movement taking place on my back- I guess I will keep my trunk to myself! 1.2619 0.04935 126 100 19 7
2380 It's called acupuncture. Try it! 1.2619 0.05062 126 101 17 8
2381 Now you can you stop nitpicking me? 1.2619 0.04671 126 98 23 5
2382 My wife said I should get some small picks for the cheese platter. 1.2619 0.05062 126 101 17 8
2383 No, they're not trained in acupuncture per se. 1.2619 0.04533 126 97 25 4
2384 I call it Neanderpuncture; it does wonders for my sciatica! 1.2619 0.04935 126 100 19 7
2385 They're little pricks, but they're tasty to snack on. 1.2619 0.04935 126 100 19 7
2386 a little to the right and down, please 1.2619 0.04533 126 97 25 4
2387 I knew I should not have shared your hairbrush. 1.2619 0.05186 126 102 14 8
2388 For them, lice is a delicacy. 1.2619 0.04671 126 98 23 5
2389 Man is so egotistical, they make a weapon and believe they are the rulers wherever they roam! 1.2619 0.04390 126 98 24 4
2390 What worries me most is Lyme Disease. 1.2619 0.04390 126 96 27 3
2391 Just some guys I met at the pub. 1.2619 0.04533 126 97 25 4
2392 It's something I picked up on my last trip to the East. 1.2619 0.04805 126 99 21 6
2393 Where's the caveman repellent spray? 1.2619 0.04805 126 99 21 6
2394 Ever since Trump ended their military exercises, they don’t know what to do with themselves. 1.2619 0.04243 126 97 26 3
2395 Can I borrow your brush? 1.2619 0.04671 126 98 23 5
2396 Sometimes, it takes more than a village. 1.2619 0.04805 126 99 21 6
2397 Don’t they know my coat is blood and gore-Tex? 1.2619 0.04533 126 97 25 4
2398 They are great. Keep away the flees! 1.2619 0.04390 126 96 27 3
2399 I’ll be glad when this species dies out. 1.2619 0.04805 126 99 21 6
2400 Yes, acupuncture is expensive, but I'm worth it. 1.2619 0.04533 126 97 25 4
2401 There are more of them than there are of us 1.2619 0.04533 126 97 25 4
2402 Don’t worry, they have a special shampoo for this 1.2619 0.04671 126 98 23 5
2403 Don't come too close I'm infected with a heptad. 1.2619 0.04805 126 99 21 6
2404 I tried the flea collar...they keep coming back! 1.2619 0.05062 126 101 17 8
2405 What happened to that scrimshaw back scratcher your mother gave us? 1.2619 0.04671 126 98 23 5
2406 I got them to scratch my back, but now how do I get rid of them? 1.2619 0.05186 126 102 15 9
2407 So this is death by a thousand pricks. 1.2619 0.04671 126 98 23 5
2408 They’re so cute when they get mad. 1.2619 0.04091 126 94 31 1
2409 Meet my new backscratchers. 1.2619 0.04533 126 97 25 4
2410 Take a look at what I brought back home from the trunk sale. 1.2619 0.04533 126 97 25 4
2411 Are these microfauna giving me a massage? 1.2619 0.04671 126 98 23 5
2412 These flies are out of contorl. 1.2619 0.04671 126 98 23 5
2413 The latest in flea control.. 1.2619 0.04805 126 99 21 6
2414 They’re calling it the new age of acupuncture. 1.2619 0.04805 126 99 21 6
2415 I called 1-800-BACKSCRATCH. 1.2619 0.04533 126 100 21 5
2416 You ever roll in the dirt, and get up more itchy than when you started? 1.2619 0.04390 126 96 27 3
2417 Sure they're parasites. But they give a great back scratch. 1.2619 0.04671 126 98 23 5
2418 it's good for hair growth, you ought to try it 1.2619 0.04671 126 98 23 5
2419 It's called acupuncture. I feel great! 1.2619 0.04533 126 97 25 4
2420 This new massage therapy is so relaxing. 1.2619 0.04671 126 98 23 5
2421 Pesky, yes, but doomed. 1.2619 0.04671 126 98 23 5
2422 Behold the seven chakras in a mammoth body. 1.2619 0.04671 126 98 23 5
2423 I'm afraid my back problem is evolving. 1.2619 0.05062 126 101 17 8
2424 Acupuncture isn't covered by my HMO. 1.2619 0.04390 126 96 27 3
2425 I just want these monkey's off my back. 1.2619 0.04671 126 97 23 5
2426 Apparently there's a collar available. 1.2619 0.04390 126 96 27 3
2427 Sometimes the natives are a little annoying 1.2619 0.04390 126 96 27 3
2428 It's supposed to stimulate hair growth. 1.2602 0.04594 123 95 24 4
2429 If you groom them off me I might not have a headache tonight... 1.2602 0.04737 123 96 22 5
2430 9 out of 10 Walrus’ recommended this form of acupuncture 1.2602 0.04594 123 95 24 4
2431 Our health plan only covers acupuncture, but I'm sure we'll be fine. 1.2602 0.04447 123 94 26 3
2432 The wheel massages are kind of nice, but I could do without the nightly bon fires. 1.2602 0.04737 123 96 22 5
2433 Explain 'law of attraction' to me again... 1.2602 0.05011 123 98 18 7
2434 Do you have man powder ? 1.2602 0.05011 123 98 18 7
2435 I'm thinking it's just a bad case of dandruff 1.2602 0.04737 123 96 22 5
2436 Think anyone will notice I haven't shampooed for a month. 1.2602 0.04594 123 95 24 4
2437 They're doing wonders for my chronic fatigue syndrome. 1.2602 0.05011 123 98 18 7
2438 Sure they're a little itchy, but it is not like they will kill us all. 1.2602 0.05142 123 99 16 8
2439 I´m getting too old for these stag do´s 1.2602 0.04737 123 96 22 5
2440 The smart money is on the Ice Age killing us off before these guys do. 1.2602 0.04594 123 95 24 4
2441 It doesn't look like this is going to clear up any time soon... 1.2602 0.04594 123 95 24 4
2442 The doctor says it's a virus and won't last more than a few days. 1.2602 0.04737 123 96 22 5
2443 If I don't find a cure for this dandruff, I'm going to go extinct. 1.2602 0.04136 123 92 30 1
2444 I forget. 1.2602 0.04737 123 96 22 5
2445 I'm one good jump away from being a cave painter. 1.2602 0.05011 123 98 18 7
2446 I hope they’re gone before they do the census. 1.2602 0.04594 123 95 24 4
2447 It's the bickering that really drives you nuts. 1.2602 0.04737 123 96 22 5
2448 I think there’s a special shampoo that will kill them off. 1.2602 0.04594 123 95 24 4
2449 We should be anxious about these little guys? I'm telling you, all this talk of extinction is Fake News! 1.2602 0.04876 123 97 20 6
2450 Cleaning my rug. 1.2602 0.05011 123 98 18 7
2451 So I said, Lillipu-whats? 1.2602 0.04876 123 97 20 6
2452 How was your day, dear? 1.2602 0.05011 123 98 18 7
2453 These little critters will be the death of me yet! 1.2602 0.04594 123 95 24 4
2454 Rhinos have it easy. 1.2602 0.04447 123 94 26 3
2455 These guys really stink! 1.2602 0.04737 123 96 22 5
2456 I hate the prickly heat. 1.2602 0.04136 123 92 30 1
2457 I know they are Lilliputians, I just forget what they want 1.2602 0.04876 123 97 20 6
2458 Why exterminate? I'll just let them kill each other. 1.2602 0.04294 123 93 28 2
2459 Do you have any disinfectant? 1.2602 0.04737 123 96 22 5
2460 We don’t have a vaccine yet? 1.2602 0.04737 123 96 22 5
2461 They call it “acupuncture”. I call it painful. 1.2602 0.04594 123 95 24 4
2462 We may have a mild case of global extinction. 1.2602 0.04737 123 96 22 5
2463 I just got back from Flores. 1.2602 0.04594 123 97 21 5
2464 I guess they don't want any more sequels about us. 1.2602 0.04737 123 96 22 5
2465 Do you have any anti-itch powder? 1.2602 0.04594 123 95 24 4
2466 At least they quit graffiti 1.2602 0.04737 123 96 22 5
2467 I feel sorry for them -- behaving like that, they're likely to go extinct. 1.2602 0.05011 123 98 18 7
2468 It's a symbiotic relationship: they eat my fleas, I eat them. 1.2602 0.04876 123 97 20 6
2469 I'm letting them have their moment. 1.2602 0.05142 123 99 16 8
2470 They’re great at keeping the flies away. 1.2602 0.04737 123 96 22 5
2471 So gross! And they say these things would survive an ice age! 1.2602 0.04737 123 96 22 5
2472 I stopped using Roundup because I heard it was carcinogenic. 1.2602 0.04594 123 97 21 5
2473 I could crush them,but I'm curious to see how they'll draw this scene. 1.2602 0.04737 123 96 22 5
2474 Masto-dON/Masto-dOFF. It my second job. 1.2602 0.05142 123 99 16 8
2475 Sciatica. 1.2602 0.05011 123 98 18 7
2476 Do you have any bug spray? 1.2602 0.04294 123 93 28 2
2477 Don’t worry, they’ll die out. Hell, they don’t even think this is an Ice Age! 1.2602 0.04594 123 95 24 4
2478 Do I have any flies on my back? 1.2602 0.05011 123 98 18 7
2479 They're calling it the paleo diet. 1.2602 0.04737 123 96 22 5
2480 It's called colonialism, Jerry. 1.2602 0.05142 123 99 16 8
2481 Will they ever learn. Not likely. Short memory. 1.2602 0.04447 123 94 26 3
2482 We're having neanderthal for dinner again tonight. 1.2602 0.04737 123 96 22 5
2483 I know your feelings on alternative medicines but with my back the way it is I'm willing to try anything. 1.2602 0.04594 123 95 24 4
2484 I rent the space to them once a week at market price. Costs extra if they want me to jump up and down. 1.2602 0.04876 123 97 20 6
2485 Acupuncture has made me feel like a new mammoth! 1.2602 0.04876 123 97 20 6
2486 It's raining hairless primates out there. 1.2602 0.05142 123 99 16 8
2487 This early mandruff is killing me. 1.2602 0.04737 123 96 22 5
2488 Standing on the shoulders of giants just doesn't work with these jerks ! 1.2602 0.04294 123 93 28 2
2489 I brought dessert 1.2602 0.04876 123 97 20 6
2490 I've got humans - they're worse than fleas. 1.2602 0.04447 123 94 26 3
2491 Sweep them off with your trunk, then we'll step on them. 1.2602 0.04737 123 96 22 5
2492 Don't worry, they'll die off soon. 1.2602 0.05142 123 99 16 8
2493 You mean the fleas evolved? 1.2602 0.05395 123 101 12 10
2494 Could you check me for ticks? 1.2602 0.04594 123 95 24 4
2495 I should have waited for the sun to go down, the bipeds are bad out there. 1.2602 0.05011 123 98 18 7
2496 They make me appreciate fleas. 1.2602 0.04294 123 93 28 2
2497 It's okay, actually. They eat the bugs. 1.2602 0.04594 123 95 24 4
2498 It’s like a stabbing pain in my back that just won’t go away. 1.2602 0.04876 123 97 20 6
2499 Look who's coming to dinner. 1.2602 0.04594 123 95 24 4
2500 I tell you Steve, I've just got that itch that global warming is coming. 1.2602 0.04447 123 93 26 3
2501 You get used to them after a while. 1.2602 0.04447 123 94 26 3
2502 Big mistake, but their lease is up next week 1.2602 0.04447 123 94 26 3
2503 Ugh, it's so human out today. 1.2602 0.05270 123 100 14 9
2504 'My Homo-Dandruffus is acting up again.' 1.2602 0.04594 123 95 24 4
2505 I need a new conditioner. 1.2602 0.04447 123 94 26 3
2506 Flea hunters. 1.2602 0.04594 123 95 24 4
2507 Now the fleas are evolving. 1.2602 0.04594 123 95 24 4
2508 These idiots will eat anything. 1.2602 0.04737 123 96 22 5
2509 Sticks and stones may break my bones, but hordes will never hurt me. 1.2602 0.04876 123 97 20 6
2510 Mastadon't 1.2602 0.04594 123 95 24 4
2511 Hair plugs. I'm losing my woolly... 1.2602 0.05011 123 98 18 7
2512 We have a largely symbiotic relationship. 1.2602 0.04594 123 95 24 4
2513 The seem harmless enough 1.2602 0.04876 123 97 20 6
2514 They kinda tickle. 1.2602 0.04594 123 95 24 4
2515 You should try this deep tissue massage. 1.2602 0.04737 123 96 22 5
2516 They help keep the tickosaurs under control. 1.2602 0.04594 123 95 24 4
2517 Unsightly , I know—but it’s so much cheaper than acupuncture! 1.2602 0.04594 123 95 24 4
2518 I know it's controversial, but it does seem to ease some lower back pain. 1.2602 0.04876 123 97 20 6
2519 They think I'm a glacier. 1.2602 0.04737 123 96 22 5
2520 Quick, Henry, the Flit! 1.2602 0.04737 123 96 22 5
2521 Such is inequality. 1.2602 0.04594 123 95 24 4
2522 A pack of Pomeranians could take me down, but not these guys. 1.2602 0.04447 123 94 26 3
2523 My hairdresser calls it “the cutting edge.” 1.2602 0.04737 123 96 22 5
2524 They're much better than a loofah... 1.2602 0.04737 123 96 22 5
2525 Trust me, they won't survive. Look how small they are. 1.2602 0.04447 123 94 26 3
2526 These new neighbors are a real pain in the ass. 1.2602 0.04447 123 94 26 3
2527 I think they are trying to communicate. 1.2602 0.04737 123 96 22 5
2528 My shoulder feels better already I think I'll skip the cupping this time. 1.2602 0.04294 123 93 28 2
2529 HURRY UP MEN, HE'S MAKING EYES AT HER! 1.2602 0.04737 123 96 22 5
2530 Liberals, amirite? 1.2602 0.04294 123 93 28 2
2531 Gulliver's got nothing on me! 1.2602 0.04876 123 97 20 6
2532 Research shows they evolved from ticks. Same MO. 1.2602 0.04876 123 97 20 6
2533 No, not cute, they want our ivory 1.2602 0.04447 123 94 26 3
2534 There is no way that by ignoring a small problem it will grow and eventually threaten the future habitability of a species. 1.2602 0.05011 123 98 18 7
2535 They don't live very long, so I just wait for them to die and drop off. 1.2602 0.04737 123 96 22 5
2536 They’re too small to bother us, so what’s the harm in leaving them alone? 1.2602 0.05011 123 98 18 7
2537 Is it kicking in for you yet? 1.2602 0.04737 123 96 22 5
2538 The doctor gave me some lotion. 1.2602 0.04737 123 98 19 6
2539 It gets annoying but it’s not like they’ll do any real harm. 1.2602 0.04594 123 95 24 4
2540 My bed was infested with them 1.2602 0.04594 123 95 24 4
2541 I'm a pacifist. Could you take some of these guys? 1.2602 0.05011 123 98 18 7
2542 They’re raving about the view! 1.2602 0.04737 123 96 22 5
2543 Ted, have you thought about your future? A future fueled by the power of carbon? 1.2602 0.04594 123 95 24 4
2544 We can roam just as soon as I get these guys out my hair. 1.2602 0.04876 123 97 20 6
2545 They call it cromagno-dermabrasion. 1.2602 0.04876 123 97 20 6
2546 How can you just sit there? I am Democracy and I'm under attack. 1.2602 0.04876 123 97 20 6
2547 Insects haven't been invented yet. 1.2602 0.04594 123 95 24 4
2548 Have you seen my toy Neanderthals? 1.2602 0.04447 123 94 26 3
2549 The school nurse said you need to buy me a special shampoo. 1.2602 0.04447 123 94 26 3
2550 Party's moving to my cave. Boogie Down!! 1.2602 0.04447 123 94 26 3
2551 They’re kind of itchy. 1.2602 0.04447 123 94 26 3
2552 Do you have any dandruff shampoo I can use? 1.2602 0.04737 123 96 22 5
2553 The alternative was a man-sized duck. 1.2602 0.05011 123 98 18 7
2554 These damn hunters are going to drive me to extinction! 1.2602 0.04594 123 95 24 4
2555 Medicare is paying for treatment 1.2602 0.04876 123 97 20 6
2556 This dandruff is making me terribly itchy! 1.2602 0.04876 123 97 20 6
2557 They thought they would fight better in the shade. 1.2602 0.04876 123 97 20 6
2558 Visit www.urgentcareforliceremoval.com 1.2602 0.04876 123 97 20 6
2559 They say they are going to evolve and one day become the dominant species on earth. 1.2602 0.04876 123 97 20 6
2560 It is a win-win situation Larry! An amazing acupuncture for my arthritis and a delicious midnight snack for later. 1.2602 0.04594 123 95 24 4
2561 I’m infested again! 1.2602 0.04447 123 94 26 3
2562 I brought company 1.2602 0.04594 123 95 24 4
2563 They followed me home …. Why can't I keep them? 1.2602 0.04737 123 96 22 5
2564 Hey Jerry? ... I think those insects are back. 1.2602 0.04447 123 94 26 3
2565 Let live, let others live! 1.2602 0.04594 123 95 24 4
2566 Don’t worry, they’re not cretaceous. 1.2602 0.04737 123 96 22 5
2567 I know they're parasites, but they tickle. 1.2602 0.04737 123 96 22 5
2568 Hey, do you have any more of that dandruff shampoo? 1.2602 0.04876 123 97 20 6
2569 Got any anti-mandruff shampoo? 1.2602 0.04876 123 97 20 6
2570 They're not so deplorable when you get to know them. 1.2602 0.04876 123 97 20 6
2571 Ask for the Mammoth Massage. It gets the knots out. 1.2602 0.04594 123 95 24 4
2572 I”m sorry Wooly, it appears you have head lice” 1.2602 0.04737 123 96 22 5
2573 It's a protection against poachers 1.2602 0.04737 123 96 22 5
2574 There on a search and destroy mission for fleas. 1.2602 0.04594 123 97 21 5
2575 Is there enough for a shish kabob lunch? 1.2602 0.04737 123 96 22 5
2576 Well it’s like they say, the best-laid plans of mammoths and men often go awry 1.2602 0.04876 123 97 20 6
2577 My primary care told me it's due to stress. 1.2602 0.04737 123 96 22 5
2578 Baby, scratch my back. 1.2602 0.04876 123 97 20 6
2579 We come in peace. 1.2602 0.04447 123 94 26 3
2580 Don't go outside - it's evolution again. 1.2602 0.04876 123 97 20 6
2581 This is SO not symbiotic. 1.2602 0.04737 123 96 22 5
2582 Yes, Edna, they’re low carb. 1.2602 0.04737 123 96 22 5
2583 Carpooling might help is keep this Ice Age around a bit longer. 1.2602 0.04294 123 93 28 2
2584 Found out what happened to old Charlie. 1.2602 0.05142 123 99 16 8
2585 Yes, they are a bit awkward on a date. 1.2602 0.04294 123 93 28 2
2586 This is what happens when there is an elephant in the arena. 1.2602 0.04594 123 95 24 4
2587 Where's Gulliver when we really need him 1.2602 0.04737 123 96 22 5
2588 Early prototype of the Trojan Horse 1.2602 0.04876 123 97 20 6
2589 I forgot the Neanderthal repellent. 1.2602 0.05011 123 98 18 7
2590 With my bad back, it's a LOT cheaper than acupuncture. 1.2602 0.05011 123 98 18 7
2591 They help me forget the ringing in my ears. 1.2602 0.04737 123 96 22 5
2592 I'm so sorry, honey. Just one calf came to school with them, and now the entire herd has them. 1.2602 0.04876 123 97 20 6
2593 To be honest, I don't get all the fuss about body piercing. 1.2602 0.04737 123 95 22 5
2594 They're nearly extinct, so I let them practice hunting. 1.2602 0.04876 123 97 20 6
2595 Global warming or just a nasty rash? 1.2602 0.04594 123 95 24 4
2596 You watch the little ones for a while, I took them out for a walk. 1.2602 0.04737 123 96 22 5
2597 Where do we keep the Lilliputian spray? 1.2602 0.04294 123 93 28 2
2598 It's your turn to give them a piggyback, I am going to extinct now. 1.2602 0.04737 123 96 22 5
2599 I've tried everything to quit smoking. 1.2581 0.04974 124 99 18 7
2600 Can you pick up some more Deet tomorrow, meanwhile you want to see a neat trick? 1.2562 0.04625 121 94 23 4
2601 Try as they may they can’t get rid of me. 1.2562 0.04625 121 94 23 4
2602 You don't like my model caveman collection then? 1.2562 0.04625 121 94 23 4
2603 I've got to get one of those repellent collars. 1.2562 0.04625 121 94 23 4
2604 Eventually they’ll give up and turn to agriculture. 1.2562 0.04474 121 93 25 3
2605 I don’t know, Doris. This acupuncture stuff seems a bit primitive. 1.2562 0.04914 121 96 19 6
2606 I see you lost your flea and Neanderthal collar again. 1.2562 0.04474 121 93 25 3
2607 Why sweat about it? They'll be extinct in no time. 1.2562 0.04317 121 92 27 2
2608 It's not the job, it's the commute. 1.2562 0.04771 121 95 21 5
2609 You woolly aren't going to help? 1.2562 0.04771 121 95 21 5
2610 I can't decide if its a symbiotic or parasitic relationship, what do you think 1.2562 0.04474 121 93 25 3
2611 I picked them up at a sleepover, and boy do they itch! 1.2562 0.04154 121 91 29 1
2612 It's come to my attention, these guys are idiots. 1.2562 0.05318 121 99 13 9
2613 Ugh, I forgot to spray before my walk. 1.2562 0.04625 121 94 23 4
2614 The doctor says it'll take care of itself in 20,000 years. 1.2562 0.04625 121 94 23 4
2615 I'm told it's just the season for it. 1.2562 0.04914 121 96 19 6
2616 They're calling it Acupuncture. 1.2562 0.04914 121 96 19 6
2617 I wish they'd quit fighting over me. 1.2562 0.04914 121 96 19 6
2618 I'm teaching them to fetch. 1.2562 0.04474 121 93 25 3
2619 Don’t worry Honey, the infestation usually disappears in the winter. No worries. 1.2562 0.04625 121 94 23 4
2620 It's those damn Hannibal kids again... 1.2562 0.04914 121 96 19 6
2621 I've tried to forget, but the pricks are annoying! 1.2562 0.04625 121 94 23 4
2622 Can I borrow your repellent? 1.2562 0.05186 121 98 15 8
2623 They say they're just gathering. 1.2562 0.04474 121 93 25 3
2624 Paleolithic men don't bother me much. 1.2562 0.04625 121 94 23 4
2625 So then I said, I want the 6 cylinder, same price, and now you can just throw in an extra cylinder or I walk! 1.2562 0.04914 121 96 19 6
2626 You can always expect pests at economy lodgings 1.2562 0.04474 121 93 25 3
2627 ...it's much more convenient than having to wait for an acupuncturist appointment 1.2562 0.04625 121 94 23 4
2628 Last time I bring home fast food! 1.2562 0.04771 121 95 21 5
2629 If acupuncture doesn't relieve the pain, I'm exploring cryonics. 1.2562 0.04625 121 94 23 4
2630 Team acupuncture. 1.2562 0.04317 121 92 27 2
2631 Size matters. 1.2562 0.04771 121 95 21 5
2632 Don't worry. They'll be extinct by morning. 1.2562 0.04771 121 95 21 5
2633 I could flick them off, but whatever their game is, it’s working as my back scratcher. 1.2562 0.04474 121 93 25 3
2634 Witch hunt! 1.2562 0.05318 121 99 13 9
2635 The worst part is having to shave these locks to get rid of them. 1.2562 0.04771 121 95 21 5
2636 Neanderthals, I tell ya. 1.2562 0.04474 121 93 25 3
2637 Is this a sign of our impending extinction as a species? 1.2562 0.04625 121 94 23 4
2638 Frankly, I've had better shiatsu. 1.2562 0.04625 121 94 23 4
2639 It does wonders for my sciatica. 1.2562 0.04914 121 96 19 6
2640 They’re mini-Neanderthals. I really like them. 1.2562 0.04914 121 96 19 6
2641 Yeah, I was going to eat them but they made me an offer and I gotta tell you, I'm feeling like a kid again. 1.2562 0.04474 121 93 25 3
2642 I just don't have the heart-besides my sciatica has never felt better 1.2562 0.04625 121 94 23 4
2643 At first I would just roll over and squish them. Then I realized how good it felt to have my back scratched. 1.2562 0.04317 121 92 27 2
2644 It's not just a mammoth problem 1.2562 0.04625 121 94 23 4
2645 They were advertised on Amazon as therapy pets, but they are mostly just annoying. 1.2562 0.03985 121 94 25 2
2646 Environmentalists protecting my tusks, it's all the rage! 1.2562 0.05052 121 97 17 7
2647 Do you ever wonder how this survival of the fittest will play out? 1.2562 0.04625 121 94 23 4
2648 All that will be left after the ice age will be twinkies and whatever these things are 1.2562 0.04625 121 94 23 4
2649 It’s just an annoyance really - I give them two...three weeks tops. 1.2562 0.04771 121 95 21 5
2650 Gwyneth said they have anti-aging properties. 1.2562 0.04317 121 92 27 2
2651 I shampooed, rinsed and repeated twice. Obviously it did not help. 1.2562 0.04474 121 93 25 3
2652 Mom, my back hair is itching 1.2562 0.04625 121 94 23 4
2653 They can be yours for $25 an hour. 1.2562 0.04771 121 95 21 5
2654 I view it as acupuncture. 1.2562 0.04771 121 95 21 5
2655 No, I'm not going to the doctor. How bad could it get? 1.2562 0.05052 121 97 17 7
2656 You're sure this is acupuncture? 1.2562 0.04914 121 96 19 6
2657 They are playing Lord of Flies, how stupid is that? 1.2562 0.04154 121 91 29 1
2658 It’s called symbiosis. By the way you can get a set down by the river. 1.2562 0.04474 121 93 25 3
2659 What? They're not gonna kill me! 1.2562 0.04625 121 94 23 4
2660 Dandruff shampoo didn‘t help a bit! 1.2562 0.04474 121 93 25 3
2661 It’s to bad I’m not on the Paleo diet... then I could just eat them. 1.2562 0.04625 121 94 23 4
2662 My back is much better since the acupuncture 1.2562 0.04625 121 94 23 4
2663 There used to be eight 1.2562 0.04914 121 96 19 6
2664 Just a little pygmy-up from my fur dresser. 1.2562 0.04625 121 94 23 4
2665 Don't worry. They will evolve. 1.2562 0.04625 121 94 23 4
2666 Whaddya think--pack hunters, or parasites? 1.2562 0.04771 121 95 21 5
2667 I've grown quite fond of them. 1.2562 0.04317 121 92 27 2
2668 Today's new word is anthropocene. 1.2562 0.04625 121 94 23 4
2669 For the last time, I’m not going to the doctor. I’m sure they’ll go away on their own. 1.2562 0.04474 121 93 25 3
2670 I picked them up for my cave portrait. 1.2562 0.04317 121 92 27 2
2671 It's the new thing - acupuncture. 1.2562 0.04154 121 91 29 1
2672 No I don't think they carry Lyme's disease but please be careful when you remove them. 1.2562 0.04625 121 94 23 4
2673 I pay them by the flea. 1.2562 0.04474 121 93 25 3
2674 I don't think they're blind but so far they have me as some sort of dome. 1.2562 0.04317 121 92 27 2
2675 I need a better caveman repellent. 1.2562 0.04625 121 94 23 4
2676 Our cousin Chang recommended that I have acupuncture for my back pain. 1.2562 0.04317 121 94 24 3
2677 Makes me just wanna run off a cliff. 1.2562 0.04771 121 95 21 5
2678 I think the warm weather is aggravating the pest problem! 1.2562 0.04625 121 94 23 4
2679 They have this fantasy that they’ll evolve faster than us! 1.2562 0.04771 121 95 21 5
2680 I gotta get these monkeys off my back. 1.2562 0.04625 121 94 23 4
2681 This commute just gets worse by the day. 1.2562 0.04771 121 95 21 5
2682 Try symbiosis," they said. "It'll be great. 1.2562 0.04914 121 96 19 6
2683 Someone should tell them there's a reason we're called mammoths. 1.2562 0.04771 121 95 21 5
2684 Yes, and worse: the pecky buggers may outlive us... 1.2562 0.05052 121 97 17 7
2685 It's the Atila the Hun's flea and tick control! 1.2562 0.04625 121 94 23 4
2686 Yes, I do have a mammoth problem; but they are small and should die-off soon. 1.2562 0.04771 121 95 21 5
2687 I have the feeling this isn't a completely symbiotic relationship. 1.2562 0.04625 121 94 23 4
2688 Sorry, hon, but I had to bring a little work home with me. 1.2562 0.04914 121 96 19 6
2689 My doctor recommended it, it's called Group Acupuncture 1.2562 0.04771 121 95 21 5
2690 I bet they’ll paint a different picture when they get home. 1.2562 0.04625 121 94 23 4
2691 I'll take bedbugs any day. 1.2562 0.04914 121 96 19 6
2692 What an itch! I'm going to need some anti-man-druff shampoo! 1.2562 0.04625 121 94 23 4
2693 Come on, we agreed to switch places so I could watch the second half. 1.2562 0.04771 121 95 21 5
2694 You know the story about the blind men and the elephant? 1.2562 0.04474 121 93 25 3
2695 I hired them to eliminate my fleas 1.2500 0.04722 116 91 21 4
2696 It's a symbiotic relationship: they kill the vermin that pester me, and they get to eat the vermin. 1.2500 0.04394 116 89 25 2
2697 So much for our symbiotic relationship. 1.2500 0.04219 116 88 27 1
2698 Yeah, Sydney, I know it looks silly, but you got to admire their sheer moxie. 1.2500 0.04879 116 92 19 5
2699 How's the back feeling now? 1.2500 0.04394 116 89 25 2
2700 my cousin sent them to me to help relieve stress. 1.2500 0.04394 116 89 25 2
2701 I've got some monkeys on my back 1.2500 0.04879 116 92 19 5
2702 I told them nicely to please get off my back. 1.2500 0.04561 116 90 23 3
2703 Don't mess with me. These are my new best friends. 1.2500 0.05177 116 94 15 7
2704 They say they want sushi 1.2500 0.04394 116 89 25 2
2705 They'll never find me. 1.2500 0.04561 116 90 23 3
2706 When I itches, they scratches. 1.2500 0.04219 116 88 27 1
2707 Apparently, these guys have a plan on how to get our future right. 1.2500 0.04879 116 92 19 5
2708 I much prefer a back scratch to a tummy rub. 1.2500 0.04561 116 90 23 3
2709 All that scratching kinda feels good. 1.2500 0.04722 116 91 21 4
2710 I need to get this off my back. 1.2500 0.04561 116 90 23 3
2711 They're just irritating initially, but if they reproduce and spread, then you've really got trouble. 1.2500 0.04394 116 89 25 2
2712 The annual infestation. 1.2500 0.04394 116 89 25 2
2713 Acupuncture does nothing for me. 1.2500 0.04561 116 90 23 3
2714 Do you have anything for a persistent skin irritation? 1.2500 0.04561 116 90 23 3
2715 The bugs are biting tonight. 1.2500 0.04394 116 89 25 2
2716 If you ask me... this acupuncture thing is WAY over-rated. 1.2500 0.04394 116 89 25 2
2717 No TV no Radio what else they got to do. 1.2456 0.04416 114 88 24 2
2718 Make Mammoths Great Again. 1.2456 0.04915 114 91 18 5
2719 The acupuncture is helping. 1.2456 0.04416 114 88 24 2
2720 I'm trying a new thing — it's called the human conditioner. 1.2456 0.04915 114 91 18 5
2721 All those little punctures do is relieve my back pain.It wont kill you to try it. 1.2456 0.04416 114 88 24 2
2722 Help me, I have an itch I can't reach. 1.2456 0.04755 114 90 20 4
2723 That flea, tick, and Atilla the Hun collar really works! 1.2456 0.05071 114 92 16 6
2724 They saw my mug drawn on some cave wall. 1.2456 0.04589 114 89 22 3
2725 They're geocaching. 1.2456 0.04755 114 90 20 4
2726 It's called "acupuncture". The doctor says that it'll help my lumbago. 1.2456 0.04755 114 90 20 4
2727 I think we should see other people. 1.2456 0.04915 114 91 18 5
2728 I just wasn't getting results with the chiropractor. 1.2456 0.04755 114 90 20 4
2729 I'm holding auditions for Gulliver's Travels. 1.2456 0.04589 114 89 22 3
2730 Haven’t had a single flea since I got em ! 1.2456 0.04589 114 89 22 3
2731 Don't worry, these Neanderthals will be extinct in no time. 1.2456 0.04915 114 91 18 5
2732 I tried goat yoga, but this is so much more stimulating! 1.2456 0.05071 114 92 16 6
2733 You really should get some; my sciatica is completely gone! 1.2456 0.04237 114 93 17 4
2734 Want to see some caveman art? 1.2456 0.05071 114 92 16 6
2735 I snack on them. 1.2456 0.04416 114 88 24 2
2736 I'd be extinct before I could get an appointment with a good acupuncturist 1.2456 0.04589 114 89 22 3
2737 My insurance won’t cover PT so I’m trying this new acupuncture thing. 1.2456 0.04049 114 86 28 0
2738 May I borrow your Head & Shoulders shampoo? 1.2456 0.04915 11